The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-17
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

For truly deep feeling let me cal
your attention t. negro waiter who
has to stand by while the hotel guest
whom he is serving eats watermelon
Utica Observer.
One cause of the throat and lung
trouble in this country is the fact that
all of us sing so much and so sweetly.
Neither the throat nor the lungs were
intended t. stand such strains.-DctrOit
Free Press.
Sweet nu;sance-'.No;t the scene oil
The Mikado' is not laid in Ireland. 1t
isn't pronounced that way. anyhow.
See here! Amt you the girl that
asked us if ragout was the French for
putting on your best clothcS?" -BOStOH
Post.
-Enrapturtd young woman, gazing
upward Ito young newspaper man =
What a wonderful thing is space:
Do YOU ever contemplate its i'm
mens.ty? Young newspaper man
Indeed, L do. have 4 column of it t.
ill every day.-N. T. Sun.
An exchange asks: "Why wasn't
the spring chicken chosen as an EN-.
blem of this cOuntry?' We can no:
answer with any degree of exactness.
but suppose the fathers of the country
were not familiar with antediluv.an
ornithology. -ROrbury Adcocatc.
1t is reported that the maple, here
tofore healthy tree. is dying of a
mysterious disease. This is nature 5
way of removing what is no longer OF
use, since dealers in maple sugar
now sell Il compound composed largely
of the settling of molasses casks.-Bos-
ton Irareitcr.
-Verasopht-You are looking charm
ing tonight. Estelle. EsteI,e Charm
ing is too cold Il word. Verasopht-
Then I'll call You lemons" Estelle-
Lemons. sir! Do YOU mean to Insult
me? Verasopht My darling. you do
not read the papers or YOU would know
that lemons are very, very dear.-Rhii-
adeiJ; hiG CaH.
"A California chap has caused the
arrest of two young ladies. who, he al
legcs. waylaid and robbed him. AS he
is dude who has neither mOneE nor
brains, it is difficult to decide what they
could steal from him. Perhaps they
wanted to measure his head so they
could get pattern for a pincushion.
NeWnldH Indesendent
WHAT fine evenings these are for
Studying natural history" "Yes. -
Last night about sunset | was struck
by the similarity between nv siX-year-
old and the hOuSe-flies. l was trying to
,l,-ix fla 10. q ~ Il
the boy in. They all moved at pre-
c;sely the same rate Of speed and with
Just the same amount of lodging
Chicago Tribune.
My dear Mr. Fitzsniffle. Miss
Jones and have had quite discussion
and we have agreed to let you decide.
Which is entitled to the palm of excel
lence Keats or Shelley?'
well. WEAKLY. Miss Brown. / would
rather not undertake to dec d. that
question. NV acquaintance with both
the gentlemen is very limited. The
fact is, they don't belong TO my set, yog
know. NitOCGaiee Sentinel
Which is the diamond wedding:
The twenty-fifth is the silver anniver-
sary and the fiftieth the golden, as all
agree. But, while in America we add
twenty-five years to the fifty to find the
time of the diamond anniversary. thev
act in England as though it comes with
the completion of the SEVENTEEN year of
married life. Richard Wortley and
Elizabeth, his wife, welded at the very
time the guns were booming at Water
loo, recently celebrated their SEVENTEEN
marriage anniversary at Sheepshead
England, and the papers there allude
to it as diamond wedding. - RaIgGsI-
phia Press