Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1885-01-24
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE RISDpN THEIR COl.yMNS
TO SMILE OVER.
hirago fatrimony-The Neccssitiea of ife-
Il Hard Thing TO e-thaas I'd hi~ llinaI
What ke Might Take. Ltr., Es~.
FIRST- CLASS, At ANY RATE.

X
Eride-"Oh. / am SO sorry that ,ou
were unable 10 attend to my wedding.
Il was grand
Caller-"So heard, and the papers
said the bride looked lovely"
''Te he! I did not see any OF the
notices; my dress was just glorious, any
how, | must show it to you. What
else aid they say 2
Your husband, they said, looked very
noble and handsome, in fact they added:
The groom was
The groom, indeed He never was
a groom in his life. He was tirst-class
high toned |corchman, I'd have them
know. ."--Phf,adciphia CaA
FRESH EGGS WANTED.
Gilhooly and Gus de Smith entered
an Austin restaurant, and sat down at IL
table.
'What win you have, gentlemen ?"
asked the obsequious waiter.
"lll take three boiled eggs" said Gus
"And ron, sir ?''
Il take the same, but be sure and
have mine fresii," said Gllhooiy.
The waiter goes 70 the speaking tube
and calls ont:
'Six boiled eggs; three of them have
got to be fresh. - Tcras Siftings
SUCH sTrSaY MAN.
"You don't call on Miss G. now"
NO, we've quit" "Quit. What's the
difficulty 2" ooh, her father is too
renurious.' "Too penurious. Why, he
has the reputation of being particularly
liberal" perhaps he has, but he told
me the other evening I'd better leave, as
he couldn't afford to waste shoe leather
on me. It's my private opinion that
that man wonld skin flea fo- its hide
ard tallow.'-OH City Blizzard.
THE FARMER AND HIS DOG.
IN anec,iote Years ago Vermont
. farmer lost many sheep through the
,opredations Of wolves. He journeyed
10 Boston and returned with wolf-dog
which cost him many dollars. He
started cnt tie next day and soon his
dog was following up scent rapidly
and disappeared in the Woods. The
farmer on horseback followed and met
a chopper. "Wall, stranger, did yer
Fec c'er dog and wolf go by p
"Yaas.' avail. how was il ?" "The
dorg was a leetle ahead.
ONE OF THE BEST THINGS
"O!d Hardfist has done great deal
for your town, hasn't he 2" said granger
TO a citZ N OF q country village
"Ycs, indeed, replied the citizen
who knew IIardfist from way back.
What are some OF the mos. promi-
ncnt things he has done?'
Well, he has just done one OF the
O.. tAing he ever all for this town"
You don't say And wha. was
that?"
"He moved ont Vest Yonkcrs
NutcsUa3.
FOOD FoR REFLECTION.
|. Mr.. Socie:c-"f have just learned OF
your sisters engagement, and congratu-
l.ted her I rca.'v wonder. though,
how Jack Simmons ever got up his
courace t9 speak to your l.ther."
Mss Ii p'uckel F.omcr-"Whv 50,
Mr. Sn,ie te?'
NJ S. WHY. your father has al
wavs seemed 10 me 90 distant, a man
qlicu. 4 approach.
Mis- L. T. (~:lI anirna,ion) --"Oh,
rot at al, 4ir Soci.te Gre. ,ha; idea
ont Of vo1r rninl. fcg Of you. as soon
a. .-ossIl / -Wnrpcr's Enz1r.
Entr ~ NIGHT TAKE.
"Da-lLr 3, lie whispered, a. the clock
sadly strnIk tgo and be a:ill "a, there
irving TO impress. her with his love,
"gherc IL o..e thing 50 Enncll desire.
Won.d von - ne take something that
/ wouid ie t.er-alIv sweet 10 my renen-
D-aacc:'
Il tnpi: l,.ow," she coyly replied.
making 4 trovts asIf 70 fall On lis thirty
/ cent stf:rffro-.t. "!,... there II one thing
:aat YOU 1coall take that viii FL my
haFfr cHn 70 oFo'i'o@iag
''N-aa. i;s !. .gved one :" ready 70
catch Lc-; hut Only cold answer came,
that soani@} .ske the bottom q. coal
box IN % fe-4baF:
"Yyn r+i-t. fa1c goar !e1Te, 1t.
t17.t2 C,y.s s.ru55>a.
.,ATE-Ho*y n CHICAGO.
Mrs. Blinks: "Didn': yoa say before
our marriage that you would live for ne
( alone q
sf-. Bli1ss: Perhaps did.
PERHAPS, ii There's no perhaps
. about il. You dii say il and I've 60;
witnesses to prove il, too"
"Oh Ue!l, rn willing TO stick 70 my
promise. "
I ''Toa are z"
Yes; I'll i've for yo1-aIone. -
/ Phikq. CaA.