The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-02-12
THE ALARM.
sBurplarsi" cried Mr.. Jones,

Burglars" screamed the Misses
Jones. "Burglars!' screamed Master
Jones, as one after the other lights
flashed in the upper rooms and hastily
draped forms appeared at the bedroom
doors like the signal figures of a ba-
rometer.
Jones and son, following each other
down stairs, one with poker and the
other with croquet-mallet, found the
street door open, saw silk umbrella
and two hats vanishing around the
corner, and yelled "police" but only
the echoes answered; and, after a
careful search of the house and some
lamentations over the hats and um-
brella, the Jones family returned to
their pillows, though each one declared
next morning that he or she had not
closed an eye.
"And the worst of it is" said Mrs
Jones, they'll be here again. When
burglars determine to enter a house
they always do it.
81 know follow who has splen-
did dog that he'll SELL" said Master
Jones. "The 1iercest fellow; bite a
piece out of you as soon as look at
you. I'll get him if you like, and we
can turn him into the hall nights"
Thank you," said Mrs. Jones. "pd
as soon have my throat cut by bur
glars as be torn to pieces by a savage
dog"
"But he'd know us all in few
days. said young Jones. "Pa, don't
you think it's the best plan!-the big
gest fellow; you ought to hear him
howl"
"a dog is impossible in a city house
with only four feet of garden ground"
said Mr.. Jones; "but I'll buy an alarm
and a pistol, and keep it loaded under
my pillow"
"Then shall sleep elsewhere" said
Mrs. Jones. "No, I'll sit up all night
every night until die, before that
shall be done"
"All women are idiots" said Mr..
Jones.
"All men are crazy,"said Mrs. Jones.
"But you shall have your way and
shoot your family if You like. That
always comes of having firearms
about"
LET them come in and murder us,
then," said Mr.. Jones. 81 suppose
you object to the alarm, too."
But finally the alarm was decided
upon and purchased and attached to
all the doors and windows on the
lower floor, and two days after this
was done Mr.. Jones, being obliged to
leave home on business, congratulated
himself upon his promptitude of action
"With this alarm you are quite safe
my DEAR" he said, as he took his de
parture. "The minute you hear il
open the windows and scream for tht
policemen"
Mr.. Jones then stepped into the car
riage, which whirled him to tho train
which conveyed him to a distant city
There he became very much occupied
with certain important affairs, ant
when he had been absent a month for
got all about the burglars, as well a.
all about the alarm.
The letters from home did not men
ton it, and so it passed entirely froh
his memory; and, as at last he foun,
himself on his homeward way upon
night train, which he had taken quit
unexpectedly-for he had written tn
day before that he should not be bacl
for a week-it occurred to him tina
his arrival would be delightful sur
prise for the family. He had hi
latch-key with him, and he quit
chuckled over the thought of lettin
himself in and being found snug i
bed next morning.
"Won't there be timel' said he I
himself. Mall scream. The girls
can hear 'em laugh. And San wi
pretend not to be astonished-ha, HI
ha!'
So, with his portmanteau in h
hand, Mr.. Jones, having reache
home, ascended the steps of his dom
cile and deliberately but softly pr,
/ I. .,. frAnf dnnr