Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1885-04-02
AN ESSAY ON BUTTER.MAKING.
Bill Nye Writes Learnedly onthis Par.
ticular Fine Art.

Bill Nye Writes Learnedly onthis Par.
ticular Fine Art.
Butter is the mature fruit of the
COW. It is the greatest
effort of her life. The cow tolls not,
neither does she spin, yet I say unto
you that Solomon in all his glory
could not beat her on handmade, or
rather mllkmaid, butter. This subtle
Joke ] have repaired and newly up
helstored for use during the winter.
Butter comes from the COW in a
liquid state. It is quite a trick to !
winter her confidence so that she will |.
yield it up to total stranger. +
once sought to WOO the lacteal fluid
from the milk retort Of a large speck-
led COW to whom I was a compare
tive stranger. She wasn't one Of
those blooded COWS that look as
though they have been cut out of a |
sheet of paper with a pair Of scissors.
She was a low COW, with coarse in
stincts, born in obscurity.
Her brow was low, but she wore
her tail high and she was naughty
oh, SO haughty. The young man
who had hitherto acquired the milk
from this cow desired one evening
to HE him away to sneighboring
village, where he might trip the light
bombastic toe till the wee sma' hours
anent the twa.' Quotation from a
poet who was poor speller.) He
wanted me to milk his large, speck-
led plebian cow, and I said I would.
The movement was certainly ill-ad-
vised. I undertook to do as I had
agreed, but failed. From the mo-
ment I entered her stall and made a
commonplace remark to her, I knew
our acquaintance would not lead to
a warm attachment. Somehow I felt
constrained and uneasy in her socie-
ty from the moment we met until
loving friends pulled me through the
stable window and brought me back
to consciousness. I shall never un-
dertake to milk a strange COW again
until the sign is right. So far the
sign has not been night. &.
I might be sent on polar expedi-
ton and stranded on an iceberg,
with no other alternative but to milk
a COW or eat an old friend, but I
should hate to tackle the COW unless
the friend was a very old friend, in
deed. =
Butter is produced by expunging
the juice from a rare and costly
chemical known as cream. Cream is
the bead on the milk. Milk is known
as dry and extra dry. A good milk
man will alway ask you whether you
want your milk wet or otherwise.
| An old well digger named Grady
told me about going over into South
ern Indiana at one time to dig well
for a man named Withum. Withum
was said to be very close. He was
the most contiguous man in Indiana.
His wife used to skim the milk on
one side and then turn it over and
!; skim the bubbles off. It was a con.
slant struggle between Withum and
his wife to see who would be the
meaner.
The first day that Grady was there
they had a round bali of butter
about as big as a lemon and as hare
, as Pharaoh's heart. The butter
{ knife had q handle that would turr
every time any one tried to get .
, lick at the butter, and the little round
ball would flop over on the othe
, side and smile. Now and then
e hired man would reach over with hi
I own knife and make a slash at tn
: butter, but the butter, confident o
1 its own strength, would tip over witt
8 a dull thud, and the man woul'
l heave sigh and give it up. The!
0 another farm hand would make
= wild dash at it, but burst into tear
: land quit. Finally Grady, who ha
watched this performance sewers
{, days, jabbed his fork down throug
A the middle of the yellow chunk, an
!. successfully cut it in two. In th
Do center was small, solid wooden tol
sThere,' says Grady, "I've sfoun
4 out what the blamed thing is woun
on, anyhow"