Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-05-22
AoAYLorHARIo GETS BOUNCED.

| In hostelry not thousand miles from
this city some weeks ago, fair young dam
sci of the "hash-slinger" persuasion secured
a situation. Had she been alone in the es-
Enlistment all possibly might have went
well. But such was not the case. Upon Sc
curing the situation and entering upon the
discharge of the functions Of hotel waitress,
it was noticed that a tall, blonde and dudish
Lothario of ye lady-killing kind became
regular boarder at the same house.
Things in general pursued the even tenor
of their way for some time, but as the old
adage goes, two are company and three are
too many. And so it fell out in this
little affair. There happened to be, sitting
at the receipt of customs in that house, fair
youth with winning ways, who erstwhile
pushed the facile pencil for daily paper in
an eastern city. Perforce of the KIN owledge
born of prying into the mysterious ways of
a cosmopolitan community, this experienced
youth was not long in stumbling to the
racket" Being aware that rather close re-
lations existed between our Venus and Lo-
thario, he was touched with that innate sense
of rivalry SO common to human kind. Be-
ing thus aroused the hotel scribe bestrode
the floor with majestic tread to the mirror
many times r day, where he gave various ex-
ira touches to his tonsure and moustache.
Ere long he felt as if Solomon in all his
glory was not near SO natty looking
as he, and could he but
get the fair singer of ground mystery to
think likewise, his cup Of bliss would in
deed be filled to spilling over. But his
hopes were born to meet cruel disappoint-
ment. The fair Venus but lured him on to
hotter flames of unrequitied love. So intense
became his passion that he fell prey to the
green-eyed monster. Going to the landlord
narrated his suspicious of the relations ex-
isting between the gay Lothario and the
fair Venus. And thus was laid the plot to
crush to ruin the hopes and loves of the fair
but frail Venus, and spoil Lothairo's chances
for basking in the sunny smiles of Lis
charmer.
Quietly mine host watched his chances,
and on Sunday morning, whilst all were
slumbering peacefully, he walked stealthily
down the hotel to iDaprudent Venus room,
and placed chair, which he carried, safely
down in front of the door.
Stepping on the chair, he looked through
the transom, when, behold, the frail Venus
en-deshabille and recumbent upon her
couch, and Lcthario sitting beside her en-
joying vis-a-vis her caresses. The host
thereupon swore a huge but silent oath to
have revenge for the Dissertation of the
hostelry. Going below, all hands were
piped to quarters and the decks cleared for
action. When, therefore, Lothario made
| his appearance the host went for him with
club, and it is avowed by many witnesses
that if he had reached him with one blow,
bones would have been broken. Finally
the crest-fallen Lothario inglorionsly fled,
followed by flying rolling pin and num-
Der nine brogan, the former fortunately
missing his head and the latter Just catch
fng him under the coat tails. Having bodi-
~ fired out the loving couple the host is
now philosophising over the wickedness of
this perverse generation. And thus ends
tabaleuX literally true, wherein all names
are withheld for reasons of public policy
based upon private right, as the petty
foggers put it.