Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-07-03
EyASIyE.
A Straightforward Answer Dtf-
dcult 70 Get
1o~ ths sx.s Cs4oasf Demonstrated fs-s
Ehs Average sf1a LAoss Drsptas-- "a
spsseh--- tn.srss4az D~ssa~rsIi@s
fBts . ft.cs ~ 4rtfsal Dodgers



dad yoa ever oossrve.@ sad ColOnsl
Gdlhooly. -bo~ difasah i i ~ gst =
sfraigh ifoF@ ard answer, plan go o. 40,
from psopls generally"
No. don't thlak I ever did"
~ sll. sir" contiAaed Gllhooly, Il ~th
bse TO sehsoosrs of bser that can 30
Into a d0Esa stores ga Austin avenue
and asx Il they have Ger ala thinss, aud
II shsy have n0t sot theal, the storeke~psr
Eln Isat say 50 plain ous IA ons single IN
stance. sapposs ~e ny its"
The suggestion Wa adopted They
stroIlsd INTO a Freuch fruit store, and Gill;
hooly said
Have y0a got green watermelon for
sale, Aonsiears'
"a assrn1s. .1nf 10 exclaimed the aston
shsd foreigner, dis Is wintaire sea-
s0n-"
Il didn't ask you for any meteorOlOg zeal
lntsliigsnce. caa get that from General
Hazen- Anybody Who pays ten dollars
a cord for wood Is pretty apt 10 know
that Summer has faded away, besides
have got an almanac at home Once
more, my friend, have you got any green
Watermelonss"
Here u &c orange, 10 banana aud 10
appel"
Il don't want any lessons in botany.
Have you cot green watermelon"
"Zs green watermelon IL not ripe"
~Who said Il was ripe, did not ash
yeu whether or not 70 was ripe, | merely
asked you II you had green watermelon
But come. Spikins, let's 20. he will
give us a history OF the French revolution
bel 70 De answers that question Let us
meander"
The next placsrwasa a mil linery establish
ment in which there was pleasant look
ing iemaie.
Madame" said Gnhooly, "haye you a
fried mule for sales"
The lady got as red as turkey gobbler
and craning her neck out, said:
SIR"
"Have you fried mule in your elegant
establishment"
mo. sir, bat have got husband, and
father and brothers who will protect ms
from insult"
Il didn't ask you for your pedigree.
ma'am There is no insult intended
merely asked you civil question"
John, Oh, Johu! Run here quick with
/ the six-shooter,"
Don't disturb him. ma'am, IL ne il
busy. II you Will say that he is frie,
mn a you need not produce him. We vii
I take your word for it."
John! Oh, John, Come quick"
I Lets go" said Spilkins.
"You might as WELL" responded Gill
I hooly, and the two strolled out again.
look here, Gilhooly," said SpiI<ins.
somebody will exasperate us yet, and
/ got themselves into trouble. My curiosity
/ on the subject has vanished"
! Il am going to win that beer. You will
not find any body on this street who will
say yes or no to plain question Let's
/ 20 into this undertaker's shop"
The undertaken was a jolly looking man,
who advanced to meet them with a sunny
smile, remarking:
Hope 1 can do something for you to-
/ day, gentlemen"
Have you any canned lobster:" asked
/ Gilhooly.
Canned lobster What makes you ash
that question;
That is neither here nor there. Have
yoa any canned lobster or cranberry
I pie,'
Great Scott this is not restaurant p
/ Il did not ask you about that Have
/ YOU any baled hay, or Pope's Essay on
Man. or an ACCORDION, or a box Of bunior
/ oradicators"
The undertaken looked at the two gentle
men and replied:
Il have got two lunatics on hand
I though"
The two investigators strolled out.
"Now. said Gilhooly, ''are you salts fed
! that nobody in Austin will give you q
strai gh forward answer TO a straightfOr-
ward question"
Il believe l am" was the response, and
I the two went into a beer saloon and asked
tae barkseper II he had any beer.
"What Kind OF besr 10 you prefer, gen
tlsmen, have imported beer and"
There u is again. l asked you IL yor
hal any beer. Why can't you say yes il
you have any, l tell you, Spilkins, tn,
American people are degenerating into 9
race Of mis- srable. arttul dodgers and trick
sters. There Is no more truthfulness left
IN the country.