Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-12-31
In A PALACE CAR.
The Serio-Comic Romance Of "Red
Beard" and the "Cry Baby
FIRST DAY.

SCENE-Palace car, Broad Street Sta
ton, Philadelphia. Engine blowing off
in spasmodic snorts, which betoken i'm
minent departure.
Enter middle-sized man with under
sized valise; strong, square shoulders,
jovial eyes and well-kept, waving, but
red. red beard. He puts valise under
seat, settles himself comfortably, and
falls into what appears to be a
thoughtful habit of stroking the beard
aforesaid.
Enter from the other end of the car
understood young lady, with overgrown
valise, crisp blonde hair, cameo fea-
lures and violet eyes, little red, as if
from recent overflow. She is followed
by the porter, who is almost suffocated
with his load of shawls, books and
lunch-basket. Young lady drops over
grown valiSe, rushes to the window of
her section and fails to get it open.
Through it can be seen an elderly lady,
with solicitous, maternal countenance.
who stands on the platform outside, and
says something inaudible because of the
closed window. Porter is busy slowing
away parcels, and pays no attention, but
the rcd-bearded man strides across and
filings it up with practiced ease. While
so doing he catches another glimpse of
the violet eyes, and, beholding another
inundation, retreats precipitately with
out waiting to be thanked.
Tableau of blonde head thrust through
the window and buried on the mater
nal shoulders for moment. Another
dyke gives way in the lachrymal stream
tho engine snorts and begins ringing
her bell.
...G-g goodbye, mamma. K-kiss me-"
says atrembling little voice.
''God bless you, my darling! Good
bye Your Uncle Ned will meet you at
the train. Write me every day. There!
there! there! Don't cry"
Each there" is accompanied by a
soft. sibilant OSCILLATION; the engine
caps the climax of her half-hour's
grumbling and fretting by three short
blasts of her whistle, as if in mocking
echo of the kisses, settles her mighty
shoulders into the collar. and the Pa
cific Express dashes off across the
Schuylkill.
Red-headed man, with innate deli
cacy, looks out of the window as if in
terested in the scenery-which he has
seen a hundred times-and pays no at
tention to the low, intermittent sob, ac-
companied by blowing of the nose,
which comes from the opposite section.
Then he contemplates the other two oc-
cupants of the car---One genuine Brit
ish tourist and globe-trotter, who writes
endless pages of unimportant and trivial
facts in his notebook, and is now record
ing that in America the locomotives
ring their bells at crossings just as they
do in England; the other, an old gen.
tleman, who is very deaf, for the porter
shouts at him in order to learn his
pleasure concerning the disposal of his
property. Neither of these appears to
interest him particularly, for he leans
back in his seat and soliloquizes In
low tone as follows:
Poor little cry-baby! She's never
been away from her mamma before, and
it goes hard with her. She is recovering
a little already; the sniveling noise is
becoming more and more intermittent.
It's remarkable how readily women, and
particularly Young ones, 60 to 'clapping
on the water works. as Sam Weller calls
it! Now, here's a young one that is
probably going on a pleasure trip-will
be absent, at the most, about three
months-really ,0ants to 60, too-and
yet she's crying about leaving her moth
er, and making her pretty eyes all red.
All, we'll! I suppose its natural enough.
Seems to me remember feeling choky
and desolate when first left home, and
the mither was crying over my clean
collar! Poor little beggar! wonder if l
could do anything to make her less lone
ly? If speak to her she might think me
one of those designing and evil-minded
persons against whom all young female