The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1885-08-26

only one who has been disturbed in his sleep
for nothing"
GuEsT--waiter, did you say this was
genuine turtle SOUP Waiter-Yes sir; it
was made out Of the water of pond near
here in which a turtle was kept last sum
mer.-RocheSter Union.
IT is not generally known that Gen Grants
first name was selected by his parents out Of
six or seven written on slips of paper and
put into hat The family had no special
taste for the classical hero's name.
"PA," said little boy, what is an alb
solute monarchy" / can't explain it, my
son, so that you can comprehend it, Wait
until you get married, my son, and then
you'll know. "-NeWmdn Independent.
New ORLEANS underpays her teachers.
The Picdyune tells of an " honored and sue
cessful teacher who after n service of fifteen
years, has to sit up half the night, sewing
for colored women, to support herself.
A VAssAR graduate cutivates six thou
sand acres of land in Texas, and her New
! York classmates are just wild to know
! whether it is spruce-gum or pancakes she
is raising down there.-LOUeU citizen.
THE Lowell Times says the New Hamp-
| shire democrats are taking high ground.
| They will come down again, soon; those
New Hampshire mOuntain-tops yield moth
ing but bueberries and their season will
soon be over.
THE following advertisement appears in
an English newspaper. The advertiser evil
IDENTIFY knows what he wants; " Dog (ferce)
wanted for yard, with fondness for trouser
seats, Address, stating price; Mr.. -, No.
Bank St., Birmingham"
THE confederate battle-hags captured by
the Union army during the rebellion are
now stored away in the vaults of the war
department. Most of the flags are so badly
injured that there is nothing left Of them
but two or three strips of bunting.
scribes an old way of heating the district
school-house. On brick arch was placed
an inverted potash kettle with hole in the
bottom for the funnel. When that old kettle
became full of live Goals the minds were
ready to work
THOMAS PENRosE, who died in Reading,
Penn, at the age of ninety-fOur, had a
theory as to long life. He said, with his last
breath: " Tell the people not to take medi-
cine, and not to be afraid of cold air or cold
water" When a young man he made a
vow never to swallow drug, and he keptit.
THEY tell a story to the effect that a
woman managed to get into the White
House, lately, with six small children in
tow, and made a plea for an appointment
which would enable her to support her
brood. She was recognized by one of the
attendants, and it came out that she was
never married at all, and that the squad of
juveniles had been borrowed for the oc-
casion.
"Now, you tell me, have fair memory,
a great capacity for learning languages,
large bump of generation and a well-de-
veloped head generally You have" said
the phrenologist. I" Is there anything"
said the man under examination, in the exul-
berance of his joy "that my head needs
to make it absolutely, perfect?' Yes"
"What is it, pray?" asked the man. "a
shampoo. "-Barbers' Gazette.
A "LEADING prohibitionist of Nashville
says thatif his child was dying, and he knew
that one tea-spoonful of whiskey would save
its life, and that nothing else would, he
would let it die. This man is quoted as
leading prohibitionist." He should rather
be styled a leading blockhead." Prohi-
btion gains nothing by such foolishness
There is no reason why temperance man
: should part with his brains.-NeU Bedford
Mercury.
TWENTY-FIVE years ago, at Marieville,
Rouville county, Quebec, Timothee Pom
thus, aged twenty, lead to the altar pretty
girl of sweet sixteen. The other day the
pair celebrated their silver wedding, and
what do you think was the browning wreath
, of the feast? A ring of twenty-four chill
dren all hearty and blooming. The father
is only forty-five and the mother forty-one.
Vive la Canadienne .-COrrespondence Of
Montreal Gazette.
PAYMENT for singers has sometimes taken
an odd form. When Mile. Zelie, a vocalist
, from the Theater Lyrique at Paris, was
world, some years since, she gave concert
= in the Society Islands. She agreed to sing
| an air from Norma" and a few other
songs, and was to receive in exchange a
third part of the receipts. When counted
the prima donnas share was found to consist
4 of three pigs, twenty-three turkeys, forty
2 four chickens, five thousand cocoanuts, be-
. sides considerable quantities of bananas,
lemons and oranges.
A CLERGYMAN who had learned to use a
: typewriter wrote consolation to parish
Toner who had lost his wife. The man was
9 indignant, and would not speak to his pas
} tor. When friend inquired the reason he
. said: 81 always supposed he had some
: heart, but when my wife died he sent me
an internal circular, not having enough in
= terest to write something especially adapted
to my case. l want nothing to do with a
e man who is as formal and heartless as
that" He was not aware of the existence
of the typewriter explains the Christian
{ Adrocdte, which tells the story, and thought
= the matter was printed.
. /