Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-14
BILL NYE SKATING.
He Makes Second Experiment Ia Tai
mage.
Erom The De,urer Opinion.

from the De,tcer Opinion.
have once more tried to ride pair OF
roller skates. That is the reason got down
on the ring and down on roller skates.
That is the reason several people got
down on me. That is the reason why l
also now state in public manner to d
lost and undone race that unless the roller
rink is at once abolished the whole civil
ICED race viii at once be plunged into
Srnica.
had tried it once before, but had not
carried my experiments TO successful
termination. made trip around the ring
last August, but was ruled out by the
judges for incompetency, and advised to
skate among people who were hostile to
the Government Of the United States,
while the proprietors repaired the rink.
On the 9Th Of September / nestled In the
bosom of cyclone to excess, and II has
required the bulk Of the succeeding
months for nature 10 glue the bones OF my
lex together IN proper shape. That is the
reason have not given the attention to
roller-skating that | should.
A few weeks ago | read what Mr. Tai
mage said about the great national vice.
1t was his opinion that If we skated in
proper spirit we could leave the rink each
evening with our immortal souls in good
shape.
Somehow it got out on Thursday even
ing | would undertake the feat Of skating
three rounds in three hours with no pro-
lection to my scruples, for one-half the
the money, Talmage rules. So there was
quite a large audience present with opera
glasses. Some had umbrellas, especially
on the front rows. These were worn
spread, IN order to ward off fragments Of
the rink which might become disengaged
and set in motion by atmospheric disturb
ances.
In obedience to a wild Wagnerian
snort from the orchestra | came forth
into the arena with skates In hand |
feel perfectly Mt home before an audience
when | have my skates in hand. 1t IS a
morbid desire to wear the SHAKES on my
feet that has always been bette noire. Will
the ofiice-Doy please give me brass check
for that word 80 thai | can get it in when
J 20 awayy
My first thought after getting myself Sc
cured to the skates, was this: Am in
the proper frame Of mind? Am ! doing
this in the right spirit? Am | about to
skate in such way as to lift the fog OF
unbelief which now envelopes sinful
world, or shall deepen the Opaque night
in which my race is wrappedW
Just then that end Of the rink erupted
in a manner so forthwith and so tout
ensemble that | had to push 1t back in
place with my person. / never saw any
thing done with less delay or less Ian
guOr.
The audience went wild with enthusi-
asm, and | responded to the encore by
writing my name in the air with my
skates.
This closed the first seance, and my
trainer took me in the dressing-room 10
attend a consultation of physicians. At
ter the rink carpenter had lacked up the
floor a little went out again. / had no
fears about my ability 10 perform the
mechanical part assigned me, but | was
still worried over the question whether it
would or would not be Of lasting benefit
To mankind.
Those who have closely scrutiniZed my
frame in repOse have admitted that | am
fearfHliy and wonderfully made. Students
Of the human frame say that they never
saw such wealth of looseness aud lin
berness lavished upon one person. They
claim that nature bestowed upon me the
hinges and joints intended for whole
family, and therefore when l skate the
air seems to be perfectly lurid with
limbs. | presume that this is true,
though ! have SO little leisure while Skat-
ing in which TO observe the method itself,
the plot or animus of the thing, as it were.
that my opinion would be of little value
to the scientist.
am led to believe that the roller skate
is certainly great civilizer and a won
derful leveler of mankind. II we so
skate that when the summons comes to
seek our ward in the general hospital,
where each shall heal his busted cuticle
within the walls where rinkists squirm,
we go not like the moral wreck, morally
paralyzed, and SO tOrth-we may skate
with perfect impunty. or any one else to
whom we may be properly introduced by
our cook.