Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1885-11-06
R0SEBURG, REVIEW
FRIDAY. NovEMBE R 6, 1885.
YARIETIES.
Tho locomotive was invented in 1859
by Watt, and patented in 1884.

Close OF Another Eve" Are they
those that were left out on the line and
gathered in by moonlighter2-Ex.
3 Every man thinks that there is only
one man in the world who can stop
drinking when he has had exactly
enough-and that he is the man.
Puck.
A funeral is tiresome preacher
opportunity. Turn him on to large
congregation and he will make the
mourners wish The party had never
died
The Toronto Globe says that if Riel
hangs physically, Sir John A. McDon-
aid will hang politically. But even
then Sir John will breathe freer than
Riel.
When the Female Suffragists get out
their declaration of independence it is
presumed that they will commence it
thus: "When in the course Of few men
events. Texas siftings.
'She wore white roses on her breast
the night we said goodbye" observed
poet. 1t is not mentioned that her
father wore his boots as usual, though
some will consider that quite important
Buffalo Express.
The man wholinjeots either bribery
or deception into popular suffrage is an
enemy Of his country 1t won't do to
fight the devil of political corruption
with their own sort of fire. National
ruin lies that way.
Phrenologist: "Your bump fo imag
ination is abnormally large, sir. Cit
izen: 81 do write poetry. Only yes
terday ! took poem to aneditor, and
that bump you are feeling is where he
hit me- Do MT bear on it so hard"
Whatever else there may remain to
discover conserving Grover Cleveland,
the American people have learned that
he has the courage Of his convictions,
and that he, at least, is a president who
has some influence with the Admins
trations.
No people can possibly thrive cn
the mortgage system. To give liens
on their farms, or, what is even more
reckless still, on crops that are to be
grown, is the certain road to financial
trouble and possibly to complete pow
erty.
A Brooklyn young man was reading
sHamIet" to his sweetheart the other
day, aad came to the passage, Cor if
thou wilt needs marry, marry fool"
aIs that a proposal dear?" she asked.
Eyes, darling" he replied: and they
settled the matter there and then.
A clergyman in Central Illinois is
reported to have startled his flock u
few Sundays ago by the announcement:
Remember our communion services
next Sunday forenoon. The Lord will
be with us during the morning SER
vices and the Bishop In the evening"
When man, no matter where be
was born, takes an oath to become an
American, he should thenceforth be
a thoroughbred American without any
qualifying nationality or alienage in
front of his American citizenship to
give him specific, though hybrid, des-
ignation.
A little girl watching kite madoof
daily paper asked; s'Mamma, isn't it
going very Ligh9" sYes my love, it is. "
.'Do you think it will get beyond that
cloudf' '1t wouln't surprise me if it
did; why do you ask4" "Well, I
thoughtif it went as far as that the
dear Lord might read the news.
Party lines were completely oblit-
Grated in the municipal election in
Nashville last week. Both the candi-
dates for Mayor belonged to the same
party, and one Of them was an efficer
in the Federal army during the late
war. Surely that war is receding into
the past. Let it go, and let all good
citizens turn their faces to the morn
ing
Gabe Snodgrass recently applied to
the Rev. ARinidab Bledso of the Blue
Light Austin Tabernacle for pecuniary
assistance. II jess can't do hit" re-
piled Parson Bledso; 81 has to sport
my pore ole mudder" "But yer pore
old mudder says yer don't do muffin for
her." swell, den, Of l don't do muffin
for my pore ole mudder what's the use
oh an outsider like you trying to make
me shell outG" Texas siftings
A story worth telling of the late
Prof Charles Q, Thompson illustrates
both his quickness of thought and
marvellous memory One morning
some waggish Worcester students re-
placed the large chapel Bible with
Webster's Dictionary. and the Profess
or, rising to oficiate at prayers, read,
without an iilstant's hesitation, long
psalm from the Dictionary page, to the
utter confounding of the conspiracy.
'tNow, rs gwine to make one allow