The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-03-13
A GOOD JOKE.
The Two Lieutenants Schmidt,
Father and Son.

Father and Son.
a certain man by the name of Carl
Schmidt Joined the army and became a
Lieutenant in battery of artillery,
waich was stationed ct the time OF our
story In a small Prussiaa town. As he
had no influence az headquarters pro-
motion WAS very SLOW, being almost as
slow as the acton in Supreme Court.
Other and less deserving officers were
advanced, bu5 Lieut. 2nant CARL Schmidt
did not advance except in age and expe-
perience. He was still Lieutenant
when his hair became gray. HoaTy-
headed Lieutenants are quite common
in the German army
Lieutenant Schmidt had married very
early in life. In due time a son was
born, to whom was given his fathers
name. AS soon as the son was old
enough he was sent to the military
academy, and after having graduated
was assigned to the same battery in
which his father was Lieutenant
There were, therefore, two Lieuten-
ants by the name of Carl Schmidt in
the same battery. But what was more
peculiar still was the fact that father
and sou were identical in form and
feature, except that while the hair and
moustache of the father We're snowy
white, those of the son were jet,
glossy black. The son had an old look,
sol, h,
pearance than that of most men of his
age, while the father. who was of
lively turn of mind, seemed TO be
younger than he really was.
At first the son lived with his parents,
but on the death of his mother, father
and son no longer lived together. Each
one rented himself a room The
younger man preferred this mode of
life, rs it gave him more liberty. In
order to prevent confusion the father
was known among his army friends as
Schmidt No. l, while the son was called
Schmidt No. ?. They were so identical
in personal appearance that had the son
powdered his hair, the most intimate
friends of the two Lieutenants Schmidt
would not have been able to decide in
what relation they stood to each other.
Schmidt No. / was in the habit of in
viting officers. who visited the town in
which his battery was stationed, to
lodge with him. He had large num-
Der of acquaintance among the older
army officers, one of whom was stop
ping with him at the time at which our
story begins. This officer. who be-
1onged to the dragons, although no
longer young, had remarkably black
hair.
Schmidt No. l, on coming into the
room of his guest one morning. OBJ
served that he was holding bottle in
his hand, from which he had just taken
the cork.
''What have you got there-liver reg
nlator, or something for Your stomach's
sake?" queried old Schmidt.
The guest seemed to be annoyed, and
replacing the cork. replied that it was
a remedy for dandruff, and placed the
Bottle on the edge of the window be-
hind the curtain, The guest left few
hours afterward.
The incident had passed out of the
mind of Schmidt No. l, and he would
perhaps never have recalled it had he
not noticed the bottle a few days after
ward. IL then occurred TO him that he.
too, was troubled with dandruff in his
hair and moustache, so he applied the
stuff his guest had left behind literally.
He had scarcely done so when. glanc-
ing at the clock, he perceived it was
time for him to appear on the parade
ground to superiptend the drilling of
the recruits. Selling his cap and sword
he hurried out. Had he looked in the
glass he would have been somewhat
surprised, for the alleged cure for dand-
ruff was simply hair dye. and the snowy
hair and mustache of Schmidt No.
i were as black as a ravens wing. The
only points of difference between him.
self and son were completely wiped
out. To all outward appearances faith
=er and son were absolutely identical.
although Schmidt No l was utterly
ignorant of the transformation that had
taken place in his personal appearance.
The Captain of the battery, who was
an old gentleman by the name of
Braun, was already on the parade
ground, waiting for the arrival of his
friend Schmidt No. /. Captain Braun
was greatly gratiiied when he saw his
friend coming, for they were great
.chums and loved to chat together. As
Schmidt No. / drew near Braun, the
latter perceived by the black hair and
mustache that he was mistaken, that 1t
was Schmidt No. 2; so he thought.
Good morning. Lieutenant Schmidt
Where is your father this morning.
Now the father of Lieutenant Schmidt
No. had been dead many years, hence
the old Lieutenant stared stupidity at
his superior officer instead of answering.
He was under the impression that he
had not heard Alright.
'Your father is well / hope" con-
finued Captain Braun.
, my father?n inquired Schmidt, look
ing still more perplexed, and satisfied
in his own mind that his hearing had
become defective.