The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-01-27

Ing houses, etc. Here Is the way one OF EN-
treated one of those great and good old sap
heads who 90 out among them with con-
gIessional reports and peppermint drops:
IL was a peace commissioner,
And his garb was sober drab;
His hair was long and white, and he
Economical his CAB.
In short, he was q reticent
And inofensiye slab.
His style was philanthropic,
And he bore q carpet bag,
In which he stored his tracts and soap,
And other peaceful swag,
Which Indians patroniz. when war
And cattle stealing lag.
Long they sat in solenn council,
The agent and the red,
Mildly talking q -bby virtue,
Till the sschem shook his head.
As with doubt and dim suspicion;
Then he gruuted low and said
Not with eloquence OF nature
Not in metsphoric style
But in simpler frontier lingo,
Mingled slang and grammar vile
mary trow-zis; but some whiskey;
Injun empty drink pile"
Then that meek aud lowly Quaker
demonstrated with tear;
Spoke of Ere water and rum
With an eloquence severe
Said quite feeliDgly that whiskey
Was foe most insincere.
Spake once more the child Of nature,
Keeping down his growing bile,
HAS my brother bought tobacco
Is there powder in bis pile~
But the honest agent answered
With an unsuspeciing smile:
"Had my variegated brother
Ever studied Mr.. Trask,
He would never, L am certain,
Such foolish question ask
Read these pamphlets, they will teach you
In the light of truth to bask.
"Pouder / have none-nor whiskey,
Nor the misunderstanding leaf;
But of mortal tracts and stories
/ have many for the chief"
Then the Indian weeping sadly,
Said it caused him bitter grief;
That his moral SEN compelled him
To extract his brother hair;
Which he did with nice precision
And q sadden stricken air;
And that hopeful peace commission
Terminated then and there.
But the Indian, like the white man, has
his little faults. We all have them, and
if one has no small faults, look out for
great vices, sure. And what is fault ?
Webster says it is "to fail, to lack" Well,
then, it is disesse which is remarkably
prevalent, and which each is afflicted with
at times So, then, we must look over each
others faults. We wish we could look
over the women's, for theirs is right on top
of their heads, and you can't see the show
at all. Nevertheless, we must do the best
we can, and be lenient.
Diogenes looked for an honest man in
daylight with lantern. Josh Billings
says you can't find one nowadays with q
locomotive headlight, and Josh generally
knows what he is talking about. Meyer
theless that interesting. fiction of an honest
man is kept up, and to prove that one did
exist, we are respectfully requested to look
at Washington. That is all very good
But who ever saw Washington? Its all
very nice to look at the picture of an old
chap with q wig, on tavern sign board /;
it is veil enough to see him as he crossed
| the Delaware, and hear about the cherry
tree. But whoever saw him? That's the
question.
The fact is, there are so many disreputs
BILE people imposing upon the pub
lie, that people can't be too careful. And
if Washington comes along in the honest
man business, keep a sharp eye on him
Anybody car cross the Delaware, and even
the Mississippi; anybody can cut cherry
Tree if they only have q Ratchet; anybody
can tell the truth when their daddy has goI
the dead open and shut on 'em and between
You and rs, reader we dou't believe Wash.
ington was any great shakes, nohow.
Bat here's to the honest man:
Yes-the honest man who pays
Every dollar be may owe,
Keeping up the good old ways
That so many scarcely know.