The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-08-08
NO CHUMPS NEED APPLY.
Uncle Sam Only Wants Good Men for His
Regular Army.

Uncle Sam Only Wants Good Men for His
Regular Army.
us this where they enlist9' inquired sal
low-faced young man, stepping into the United
States army recruiting station, on West Congress
street
Yes. How old are you?'
Twenty FIVE"
''Open your mouth" The examining officer
took firm grip on the young mans chin and
forehead and looked long and earnestly into the
opening presented to him. mo, l can't take
you" he said finally.
The salow young man turned on his heel and
went out without word.
''Three back teeth on one side gone," the officer
explained to a bystander. IF he'd lost only one
he might have passed"
Another candidate for military honors came in
a few minutes later. His teeth were found to be
satisfactory and he was introduced to the next
stage of the ordeal.
The candidate was sent to the opposite end of
the room and invited to look at some cards. the
spots on which at distance of twenty feet ap-
peared to the eye to be exactly the same size as
bullS-eve at one hundred yards. The next
test was for color blindness after which the vic
tim required stri himself stark naked In this
condition he was weighed, and his height chest
measure, ETC., carefully noted. brilliant
series of gymnastics followed. The candidate
was made to swing first one arm and then the
other, after the fashion of wind mill in strong
breeze. He then dropped on his knees, rose on
one Leg hoped across the room on his right foot
and back on his left, executed standing jump,
and finally stood erect and kicked backward
three times-each movement being directed by
the examiner. The whole person of the man In
undress was then carefully gone over for i'm
Projections and evidences of disease Varicose
veins were looked at with especial attention, and
feet examined for ingrowing toe nails, fatness,
etc. A small anchor in India ink was found on
one arm.
1--WE do not object to tattooing in general the
examiner remarked, "but once in a while we
find fellow with some obscene picture other
pricked into his skin. That cooks his goose
Uncle Sam don't want to collect picture gallery
of that kind"
After the candidates various birth marks,
scars, etc. had been taken account of, and the
color of his eyes and other points of indentiica-
ton all noted, he was requested to dress himself.
He then answered long series of questions re-
speeding hereditary diseases in his fanny, his
previous occupations. experience or lack of it in
Jail, and the like. Finally, enlistment papers
in triplicate were made out, and the process of
listing was complete
1--WE get some queer letters sometimes" the
officer said, when the examination was flushed
Zone man wrote few days ago asking if he
could live with his wife if he enlisted and if they
would have a separate house. He also wanted
to know whether he would be given house in
Washington or Detroit. merely said in answer
that we took married men-which is the fact
Ut course the requirements are very much more
exacting than they in war times. We don't
care to enlist very many men, and we care
full to pick out the very choicest that offer them
selves"