The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1885-07-31
WIT AND iiIrI!D.s.
HE BoARDER's MORNING sOLILoQUY.

THE BOARDERs MORNING sOLuOQUY.
How swift the hours OF sleep glide byl
heard the sparrow Ginning,
The mackereipeddler's screeching cry
Proclaim that days beginning.
ONCE more 70 dress must begin,
The sun shines out In splendOr,
And hear the thud of the rOlling-pin
That makes the beefsteak tender.
No more John Bulls once valiant breast
| by great ambitions fired;
| And Russia cries, Pull down your vestl
Go way-you make me tiredl'
In those old days when wrangling men
Flung down their changing cages,
There were so many knights, since then
Ihey have been called dark ages.
The sound of the dull thud is heard IN the
land,
The atmospheric laden with dust;
For out IN the back yard, club In his hand,
The head OF the house on II carpet pounds
His words are not those of the just
oh City Blizzard,
Thourt dearer far To me than gold,
%. maid upon my breast reclining!
The sweet lOve-light now behold
Behind your gOld-rimmed glasses shining.
MY love for you burns like the sun;
~ Indeed Dc It's brighter, stronger, steadier.
Sweet unabridged encyclopedia.
boston Courier.
Her voice was harsh. and she jawcd all day.
Till the man was crazy. as one may say.
From morn till night Il was chin chin, chin,
And people who couldn't help hearing the
Knew well that the man had a cross TO bear.
And he cried In the midst of his Wild despair:
rive loved, I've loved her, through good and
And with all her faults ] would love her
STILL"
When the editors a prey to indigestion, indI.
And his liver isn't working worth cent.
When he gives grufr reply to every question,
And in grlmblins DER his woes his time is
Then the poet makes some verses, and he
writes 'em, and he writes 'em,
And he brings them to the office when they're
done, when they're done, q
And the editor he takes club and smltcs I'm
club aud smltes Inns
D, the poets lot Ii not happy one, happy
one
o. the poets lot Is not happy one.
boston Courier.
A widow in Wilton, Conn, says she
never intends to marry again. She is
l04.
what is the meaning of the phrase,
Passing stranger asked the teacher.
"Shoving the queer" said the head
boy.
Mrs. Yeast would like to know il
whiskey straight is any relation to q
spirit-level; and If not, why notP--
Ionkers Statesman.
81 am out to-day" said the editor,
"and to prove that am out" he con-
tinued to himself, IL will lock myself
in" and he did. burlington HaWk-
eye.
Lord Chesterfield says: "Choose the
company of your superiors. That's
just what we have been doing, and it
makes us awfully lonesome. -NeWnlan
Independent.
30. why should the spirit of mortal
be proudP" There Is no definite rea-
son in the world for 1t unless it be that
he has humbugged his wife into think
ing there isn't another man in the
world like him.
"Run for the doctor, quicki help!
help! dot baby has swallowed u nick
ell" exclaimed Mrs. Schaumburg.
"Mine Gott, you make 80 much fuss as
il it was u $40 gold piece Be calm,
Repecca." replied Nose.
Prof. Hjalmar Hjolth Boyesen has
been fined $500 in New York for slap
ping small boy, and this gives the
newspaper an opportunity to conf
strucL the USUAL foolish and unjkind
Jokes on the spelling Of his name.
An exchange states that Wisconsin
furnishes more poetry and pine lumber
than any other State in the union.
Why say poetry and pine lumberp
Why not say kindling and kill two
birds with one Through Mail.