The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-11-07
saying, It's an m wind.' and % foEsh.s '
 said the good Mr. Onslaught.

everything into fish that comes into his net, and you can gamble on his always taking trick when he sees it."
 This glowing eulOgy of the virtues of the q old man |" was followed by few moments of painful silence.
 "You were not out to the meeting of the church trustees yesterday afternoon" !" observed the Rev. Polemical Onslaught, addressing Mir. Pe,,igrew.
 "No," answered the grand old man. shifting uneasily on his Undiscovered chair, and elancing at Iudson, mo, l didn't get around was-er-that is l was-absent."
 It's rather singular thing" broke in Spisott. about that dodo we had on the bills last season. Dead now You see, the real dodo is extinct, and that's the reason our old man determined 10 have one. What do you suppose he did ? Why, he went and consulted some of the most eminent surgeons in New York, winter before last, and they determined 10 experiment on an ostrich. So they run piece of gas-pipe down the os,rich's throat, cut out about three feet sf the neck, sewed the head back on again, took the legs of at the gambtel joint, and made just as neat dodo as you ever saw in your life"
 Spigott paused and began attentively to separate the bones from his white fish, The Rev. polen;cal Onslaught saw a iitt within the clouds and improved it.
 |" How are you coming on with your Latin. Judson 2" inquired the good man. But the boy was attentively watching Calkins, and waiting with bated breath for another unhappy break.
 Judson p said his mother sharply, Mir. Onslaush, is speaking to you"
 "Ah .er-yes, sir. What was it you said p replied the youth.
 "I inquired how you were progressing with your Latin."
 1 III buiOuSh Wilh thlio hCNiSh- sion, thank goodness gracious, sr.o
 Judsonl' said his father.
 "Yes, sir"
 [" Be careful, sir"
 ann"
 But what did they do about feet, Spisost2 Inquired Calkins !" an ostrich's $ feet sin't nothing like a dodos"
 "Oh, they got over that part of it easy enough" continued Spigott; they jus, took pair of wooden shoes, covered em with red morocco and nailed 'em on. Anything red takes with the country grays and iaspers, you know. It was jus, the peatest surgical operation ever per formed. By the way, Calkins, wha, be- came of that mermaid you folks billed so conspicuously last season?"
 "Him3 Oh, he's in the Cook county hospital now"
 |" In the hospital p
 Yes. You see he was an old chap who used to take care of some Trakene stallions we used in the grand entree, and the governor set him to work one day stripping trick mule over into zebra Somehow the mule managed to kick the brown paint all over the old dutfcr, and when the governor saw him the though, flashed over him. what dandy mermaid he would make, and he utilized him for that purpose. He rigged up glass case and used to have the old man lay in tha, with lot of artificial fish scales around his lower extremi'ies. It took power of whisky 10 sustain life, though, at tha, work"
 " suppose the Dorcas society is still hourishing, Mir Onslaught" said tb. wretched Mrs. Pettigrew, in a desperate attemp, to check the linguistic torrent
 Well, passably my mission over to your house this evening vas, principally to ascertain if it would be perfectly con venient to you good people to allow the society to meet at your house nsx, We'd nesday afternoon
 Certainly" replied Mrs. Psitigrew, "no.hing would"
 "Why did he have to have so much whisky P rudely interrupted the miser- ably depraved Judson
 He had to have whisky enough 10 m ake him dead drunk or he wouldn't lay in the Dox, and it took more and more liquor every jay to keep him in coma tose condition. We'll, one day he was taken with the Jim-jams, and he busted through the glass case, and ran oui into the main tent, aud went arou nd the ring eight or ten times jus, a-whooping and a-shedding his isingass fish scales a; every jump. He leaped olean over it.