The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-05-10
A SCIENTISTS REPORT.
BILL NYE TRANSMITS TO THE PUB
Lie A RARE DOCUMENT.
The Mayors Throat-Tubercul Gumboils
In the Hands of Great Men of
Medicine-A Fearful
Diagnosis.

lOTiSinall
To the Members Of the Academy Of Scienc.
at Eiin Prairie, Wisconsin:
GENTLEMEN: | beg leave to submit here
with my microscopic report on the several
sealed specimens of proud flesh and other
mementoes taken from the roof of Mr..
Flannery's mouth. As Mr.. Flaanery is the
mayor of Erin Prairie, and therefore has
worldwide reputation, deemed it suffi-
GENTLY important to the world at large, and
pleasing to Mr.. Flannery's family, to publish
this report in the medical journals of the
country, ano have it telegraphed to the
leading news apers at their expense. Know
ing that the world at large is hungry to
learn how the laudable pus of an eminent
man appears under the microscope, and
what pleasure it must be toFhis family tc
read the description after his death. have
JUS opened a new box of difficult words and
herewith transmit a report which will be an
ornament not only to the scrap books of Mr..
Flannery's immediate family after his death,
but priceless boon to the reading pubic at
large.
Removing the seals from the Jars as soon
as l had returned from the express office.
poured off the alcohol and recklessly threw
it away. A true scientist does not care for
expense.
The first specimen was in a good state of
preservation on its arrival l never saw {
more beautiful or robust proliferation epi-
therial cell nest in my life 1t must have
been secured Immediately after the old
epitherial had left the nest, and l. was in
good order on its arrival. The whole lobule
was looking first-rate. You might ride for
a week and not run across a pretticr lobule
or more artistic aggregation of cell nests
outside a penitentiary.
Only one eel nest had been allowed to dry
up ON the way, and this looked good deal
fatigued. In one specimen | noticed a
carneous degeneration, but this is really nc
reflection on Mr.. Flannery personally
While he has been i'll, it is not surprising that
he should allow his cell nests to carneousy
degenerate. Such thing might happen t.
almost any of Us.
One of the scrapings from the sore on the
right posterior fauces found on its arrival
had been seriously injured and therefore not
available. return it herewith.
From an examination which has been con
Quoted with great care l am led to believe
that the right posterior rafter of Mr. Elan.
nery's mouth is slightly indurated, and it is
barely possible that the northeast duplex and
parotid gable end of the roof of his mouth
may become involved.
wish you would ask Mr. Flannery's i'm
mediate relatives, if you can do SO without
arousing alarm in the breast of the patient.
If there has ever been a marked predis
position on the part of his ancestors to tuber.
cular gumboil. do not wish to be under
stood as giving this diagnosis as final at all,
but from what have already stated. taken
together with other clinical and PATHOLOGY
cal data within my reach, and the fact that
minute, lobulated gumboil bactina were
found floating through some of the cell
nests, l have every reason to fear the worst
l would be glad to receive from you for
microscopic examination a fragment of Mr.
Flannery's malpighian layer, showing evil
dences of cell proliferation. | only suggest
this, of course, as practicable in case there
should be a malpighian layer which Mr.
Flannery is not using Do not ask him t1
take malpighian layer off her cell nest lust
to please me.
From one microscopic examination I hard
ly feel justified in giving diagnosis. nor
care to venture any suggestion as to treat
ment, but it might be well to kalSomine the
roof of Mr.. Flannery's mouth with gun
arabic, white lime and glue in equal parts.
There has already been some extravata.
tons and marked multiformity / also
noticed al infamed and angry color to the
stroma with trimmings of the same Thi:
might only indicate that Mr.. Flannery bao
kept his mouth open too much during the sum
mer. and sunburned the roof of his mouth
were 1t not that | also discovered traces OF
gumboil microbes of the squamous variety.
This leads ME 10 fear the worst for Mr.
Flannery. However, if the gentlemanly.
courteous and urbane members of tbs
Academy of Science, of Erin Prairie. t<
whom am already largely indebted for past
favors, will kindly forward to me, prepaid
another scraping from the mansard roof OF
Mr.. Flannery's mouth next week. will oper
another keg of hard words and trace thi
gumboil theory to a successful terminatio
If l have to use up the whole ceiling of tn
patients mouth
Yours, with great sincerity, profundity
and verbosity, BILL NYE
Microscopic Lobulist and Microbist
HUDSON, Wis, May g.