The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1885-08-19
WIT AND PLEASANTLY.

'Well Sambo, are You over your rheuma-
tismT' Tank you kindly, sir. Use conva-
Iescing rapidly but don't get any better. y
Harper's Bazaar.
"My husband is very fond OF his relatives y
remarked one Toledo lady to another the
other day. "He is constantly mumbling in
his sleep about his ante
Mr. Jenkins wife must be awful jealous"
said Miss Smith. He gave me his seat in the
hOTse-Car, and.when thanked him he begged
me not to mention it."-Boston Transcript.
A Georgia Judge said that the maxium
that innocence was to be presumed until
guilt was proved had one exception, and that
when an Irishman accused of an
sault and battery, for then guilt was to be
presumed"
a lawyer addressed a Jury ON case proved
by strong circumstantial evidence, repeated
often that ninety-nine guilty men should es-
cape rather than that one innocent man
should suffer- The judge in charging the
jury, told them the ninety-nine guilty had
had long since escaped
Ii is wonderful that fools boys are. a
charming widow owns a nice boy, and a man
wants to be appointed deputy father to the
lad. liz was only last Sunday that while the man
was strOlling down the street with the lad he
asked: 'Bub, does your mamma bang her
hair and that fool boy answered: ''Oh, no;
but you ought to have seen her bang dads
head. Guess the minister didn't know every
thing when he told Pap to prepare to die.
Prepare. why, he was aching to die"
One day very piOus clerical friend, who
had consumed an hour of his valuable time
In small talk, said 10 James Harper, the
publisher: Brother Harper, am curious to
know how you four men distribute the du-
ties of the establishment between YOU"
John said Mr.. Harper, good humOredly,
''attendS TO the finances Wesley to the cor
respOndence Fletcher TO the general bar
gaining with authors and Others, and don't
you tell anybody" he said. drawing his
chair still closer and lowering the tone of his
voice, Il entertain the bOres.
An old LAWYER in Paris had instructed a
very young client of his to weep every time
he struck the desk with his hand. Unfortu-
nately the barrister forgot himself and struck
the desk at the wrong moment. The client
fell to sobbing and crying, what is the
matter with your asked the presiding
Judge. "Well he told me to cry as often as
he struck the table" Here was a nice pre-
dicament; but the astute lawyer was equal
to the occasion. Addressing the jury he
said: "Well, gentlemen, let me ask you how
you can reconcile the idea of crime in con-
junction with such candOr and simplicity /
await your verdict with the most perfect
confidence Criminal Law Magazine.
The Innocent Woman.
What will you take, madam" said tn !,
saltwater drug clerk.
"A little strawberry in mine" said she.
"And you, sir?' TO the husband.
de me see" scanning the row OF bottles
which contained syrups. 80, yes little
spiritus vini Gallici, if you please" And as
they went off, after drinking their soda
water, she said softly:
go, George, how much better that is than
drinking nasty, horrid brandy, as you used
10 do before you joined the Murphy men,
isn't it, And he said he rather guessed it
was"
The Presidents knowledge of Women.
A good story is tod about Kentucky Con-
gresSman's pretty daughter who visited
Washington recently. She went up to Presi-
dent Cleveland upon the occasion of "A White
House reception and said
III bet a horse you don't know who
am
The President was equal to the occasion.
''NO.' said he. | don't know who you are.
but I'll bet horse you are from Kentucky"
Shake" said the young lady. And she
has been on good terms with the President
ever since Washington Letter.
The Cunning Wife.
Wife tat the breakfast table=What time
was it when you came i'm last night, dear?
Husband with aching head -Well-er,
don't know, exactly.
Wife-It must have been o'clock. Were
Husband-Er-yes.
Wife (anxiously)-Fm afraid you are work
ing too hard, dear. You ought not to con
fine yourself so closely TO business. am not
surprised that you have a headache OccasiOn-
ally in the morning. You really must take
better care of yourself. by the way, dear
can you let me have SOP
misunderstanding. with pleasure.
The Aztec Tongue.
Hartford Post.
The electric light We'd the moon in illumi
mating the veranda, but Notwithstanding
their combined efforts Algernon and Au
gusta found convenient place where TIT
rays OF light could only be perceived indi
Tectly.
'Algy." said she, this must be a goot
deal like the delightful evenings of Mexico
when the Aztecs ruled.
81 dare say; but who were the Aztecs, my
DEAR
Don't you know? Why, they were tn,
people that said 'Tattenamquiliztli wheI