davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
GROCERIES,.
Wheeling.

Trade 10 not 1uly up 10 Inc stsnusru,
but reports from travelling statesmen indi.
cate an immediate improvement.
SUGAEs-The demand for sugars con.
tinues good; Cut Loaf 7ac; Cubes Tic;
Fruit powdered &C.; Ordinary powdered
1ae; Granulated Standard Tic; Granu-
lated ordinary 10: Standard CoDfection-
er's A SIC; grocer's A 6sci Pearl A 63c;
White extra c SIC; Ohio valley 6tc;
New York G Go; golden G Sc; NEW
Fruit sugsr Sc.
CoFFEEs--Green coFee-Fsncy Golden
Rio l2c; Fancy Green l2c; Peaberry
l21c; Choice lie; Prime loo Good 93c;
Fair &c; Roasting grades 1900; Old
Government Java zoe. Roasted coffee IN
packages-Arbuckle's ID l34c; Cardoba
| ID. Isle; Dilworth n. l34c; Dilworth
Brunswick l and 2 h. leo; lowering e. L
G l h. l3fc; lowering java 3 lbs &c.,
Rising Sun lb. l2c; Tiger ID. l2c;
Partoln ID. In orders Of 300 ID. at one
shipment, &c per pound of. Bulk Roasted
old Government java 24c; Peaberry
1910; Choice Rio l2tc; Prime l2c; Good
lie; Fair lOic; Ordinary lot,
RICE. - Carolina head, &c; Carolina
choice 61c; Carolina prime &c; Louisiana
SIC; Java pearl &c; Broken 3sc.
SYRups-Choice Sugar Syrup 33@S6e
Ordinary Sugar Syrup 23@28c; Honey
Drips SOC; Sugar, House dark 2O@22c;
&c additionalin half barrels); New Crop
New Orleans Mollasses. Fancy 48@60c;
Choice 45@48c; Prime 42@46c; Fair 400
4Sc; Choice Bakers 30936c. New crop
New Orleans will be in in about ten days
One small lot arrived on the 10th.
| PRovIsIoEs-Large 8. @. Hams 93@9sc;
Medium s. G. Hams 93@l0c; Small 8. @.
Hams l0l@l0ic; California Hams fsc;S.
@. Breakfast bacon 9@9ic; s. G. Shoulders
6i@7c; City Sides 7a@8c; Bacon Should,
ers Sic: Ham Beet l0}@lle; Ordinary
Beef 90l0c: Country Sides 7lc; Mess
Pork, No. l $l2; No. 2, 5lb average pieces,
very ins family. $3.50; No. 3, ordinary,
$l0.OO@l05o.
LARp-Terce1 &c; half barrels tic; tubs
Tc; buckets 7ac; tin pals 3 ID tie; TN pals
s ID Tic; Tin pals 10 ID Tic; TIN pals 20 ID
7c; Tin pals so ID 10.
CANNED GOODa. STANDARD 3ib table peach
81 Is; pie peaches 3ib 81 90; piepesches
6n 81 Is; No. 3 tomatoes 90@95c;
tomatoes 8tb Boston market 81 %;
canned corn. Thompson's IN cans 80c;
Sears corn 9Oc; do Windows IN 81 20
do and grade IN 15c: strawberries an
81 10; blackberr1es 2ib 81 90; raspberrie1
an 81 90 Damson's IN CSC; lima beans
2ib 90c; cove oysters In light 55c; Dc
| In full weight 81 e5@l 10 string beam
2n 85@90c; succotaSh 2ib 90c@l IS;
Marrow fat peas 2fb 81 1904 10; goose
berries 2b SOc9$l 90.
| FRuTTs-NeW Valencia Raisins 9 Ia loo;
new Layer,Ordora, lla@l2c; new eyspor
ated peaches, l5i@l6c; new eyaporated
peaches, l3@l43ci new halves, dry peach
6@6ic.
| On.-LArd, extra western strained Soc
carbon, ITO, Sc; carbon, $50, s2c; whit.
miners best winter 45c; white miners No
"a 45c.
CoSDrrIoz on MlRKETa-Sugars, nom
4 inal; coffee strong, with prospective I'D
vance; rice, nominal; lard, weak proyis
ions. nominal; fruits nominal; cannes
goodssre steady; tomatoes are scarce ant
q strong market is anticipated when seasol
opens. Look ont on tomatoes, they VII b
good stock in the near future.
KETR0LEUM
PiftsbnFg.
- ~ -.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
LIVE STOCK.
Wheeling.


The market this week was only average
The cattle market il .ast and the sheep
market is lost sight Of. Msssrs. Hud.
son B Bsyha furnish the following quota
tons:
Cattle-The market is demoralized and
the prices this week are sort of go as You
please.
Hogs-Market active; st@4sc pen h.
Sheep-Dull; 1@3c per ID.
LAmbs-Good at 22G14c per ID.
Cslves-$3 00@6 90 Per head.
Oh,cAgo.
CHICAGO, October 26.-The Droven
Journal reports: Cattle-Receipts 1900
head; shipments $500 head; market
steady; shipping steers 50 25@5 so;
stockers and feeders 81 00@3 so; COWS,
bulls and mixed 81 1903 90; through
Texans 81 50@3 20; western rangers
steady; natives and half breeds 50 O0@
4 20.
Hogs-Receipts $4,000 head; shipments
5000 head; market slow; rough and
mixed SO 35@3 60; packing and shipping
s. 5O@3 so; light weights s. 1908 S5;
skips 81 5O93 III.
Sheep-Receipts $500 head; market
slow; natives 81 1893 4Oi western 81 rs
az 90.
The Drovers Journals cabels from
Liverpool quote best cattle at ll3d, per
ID. dressed, or lc lower than prices have
been since the American export trade
began.
New York.
NEw YORK, October 26 -Beeves-Re
ceipts, including 81 cars for expectation
and 20 cars for city trade slsughterers di.
rect, were 1910 head, making 9,670 for the
week; feeling better; all desirable cattle
sold readily; inferior and common stock
dull; market closed weak; poor to prime
native steers So 1906 10 per 100 pounds;
extra and fancy S. $50 COS; Ia cars
fair Montana steers sold at 81 90; Texas
and Colorado cattle SO 25@4 SIS; the
weeks exports were $50 cattle, $50 sheep
$3.50 quarters of beef and S76 csrcasaes Of
mutton.
Sheep-Receipts 23,75O head, making
Al, $50 for the week; good, prime, fairly
interior and common dragged and closed
weak With downward tendency; sheep at
81 OO@4 90 per 100 pounds; lambs "a 90
as 80.
Hogs-Receipts 2O,67O head, making
81, 100 for the week; dull and unchanged
for live hogs.
East Liberty,
East LIRERTH, October 26.-Cattle-
Slow and unchanged; receipts 2,l66 head;
shipments 1902 head; shipments to New
York yesterday 40 cars.
Hogs--Slow; Philadelphia So 90@4 90;
Workers 50 6593 IS; receipts 2,l0O head;
shipments 6,40O head. Shipments to New
York yesterday SO cars.
Sheep-SloW and unchanged; receipta
6,4OO head; shipments 2,400 head.
Cincinnati.
CSorNSATI, October &c. - Hogs -
Firm; common and light 80 75@3 TO-;
packing and butchers 50 1908 u.s.
Receipts $500 head; shipments 464
head.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
AGreat violoncelIO to Be Sold.

The famous violoncello by Stradivarius,
which belonged to the two Servaiaee,
father and SOD, the violoncelists, is offered
for sale. 1t is reported that the highest
bid, $4,000 francs, had been made by Herr
Won Mendellsobn of Berlin, but that Nine.
Servsis had fixed the price at 100000
francs.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
PRODUCE.
Wheeling.
TnRsnLY

TUESDAY, October Is.
Buttsr-Prime to choice creamery Zoe;
choice dairy l4@l6c; good TO prime
country roll l0@l4c; common nixeP
stock 5@7e. No demand.
Beeswax-Quosedat 2S@S2e , ID.
Rsaus-Hsnd picked mediums 81 26eG
40 per bushsL
Dried FTuit--EsN eysporAtad pared
peaches If@lSc; IMPAIRED do l0@12c:
rsspbsrriss lT@lec; bbckhsrries 1888
New sundrisd, apples. quartered, .
sHced. 4(a5c; peaches, new halves, 4la6Se
do quarters. 4@6c; ID pared lbSlsci
ritted cherries $3.50. New eyaporated
apples E@ec. Market on Dried Fruit nom :
iaal: demand siow.
Cheese Sales IL . joking vay cf prime
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
The Candid Undertaken.
Chicago NeirS.

Undertakers are candid people. A gen,
tleman called at Q Wells street. establish
meut last week and ordered an outfit for a
funeral. "Dr. sent me here" he
said. "Oh, yes" said the undertaken,
DIR. - sends Us all his work"
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

Valuable and OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES BRoS-
cH1AL TRocHEs are safe and sure remedy for
Bronchitis, Coughs, and other troubles Of the
Throat and Lungs Sold only IN bOIes. Price Is cts
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
COTTON.
New York.

New YORK, October 26.-Futures closed
weak; October 6.67c: November 956c;
March 9.87c; July 10 zoe.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
On suNDEXa

LSGYs ths eity 81 10. N. and run svsrJ hour Inn
EsGVs WhssltnS Rxrk ga n. and run every heu
NTH 10 o, m, @. HIRSCH. 5upt.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
WOOL.
Wheeling.

TUESDAY,, October 20. }
The market Is rather dull, but remains
firm at last weeks prices. which are a.
follows: Fine fleece, washed. 3l@32c;
fine fleece, unwsshed. one-third of; coarse
fleece, washed, 27@2sc; coarse fleece, I'M
washed, 20@23c; medium, washed, 500
Sic; medium. uhwashed, 20@33e; tub
washed 2s@30c. There ia q greater
demand for medium heeces although not
much Of any grade is being bought at
present.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
GINSENG.

TUESDAY, October 20.
Per pound, $3.50 to 81 80, sccordipg to
size Of roots. Market Gull.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
Manhood Restored.

H.uody Frss.-A victim Of youthful imPru
ESuos sSdsing Premature Decay, Nervous Debility
cost N41hood, &C, having tried In vain ever
fpoEa rsasdy has discovered simple means o.
sal-eure, Which he viii send fRsE % bis fellow,
EssSsu. address, J, II. REEVES, 4S Chsthar
sRsst New York.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
what's GataIfh2
II IL q disease OF the,

II In Q disease OF the,
N u us IN Q mbrane
generally originating
In the nasal passages 4
maintaining Its strong
hold In the head. From
this point itsends forth
a poisonous virus along
the membraneous lin.
ings and through the
digestive orgxus, cor
rupting the blood and
producing other trou-
blesome and dangerous
symptoms.
Cream Balm has
gained an snyiable rep.
utation " b ereyer
known, displacing all
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
west VIRGINIA MAP.

The RxeprzR's map Of the State, made iron ~.
tual surveysoi each esuniy, contains oil post roads
and streams, with political divisions. 40, and h
the only complete map Of the State sya
published. sise-Three BY three and three-iourths
feet Pr1Ce 10 Cents.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
TRAVELERg' GUIDE.

A xBrvAI AND pKrARTURKoF I1AnHs-
~ ExPEAMkxIeM or EErnEHEcD HAKx2:
s6asl1 fsundEy sxesptsA. tMondsy ezcsptsA.--
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
The British Grain Trade.

LONDON, October 26.-The Mark Lane
Express, in its review Of the British grain
trade during the past week, says: Rain
has temporarily checked sutumnal sowing
Wheat Is likely to continue cheap until
the bulk of the stock is exhausted. Sales
Of English wheat were Il, 800 quarters at
3la Cd, against sc. 044 quarters at 32a Id.
Flour is freely offered at low rates. For
eign wheats are dull; buyers and sellers
refuse to yield to each other. Flour il
steady. Corn weaker, owing to the re-
port Of an enormous crop in America.
There has been no business in eargoesi
Is cargoes arrived, l cargo was withdrawn
and 3 remained, including 3 Of California.
At to-dsy's market wheat was slow; -four
very dull; corn, barley andoAts were quiet.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
FINANCE AND TRADE.

Money aa4 Per Cent-GOvsTD ments Dull
but StrOng-Stocks Lower -FIouT Quiet
and Unchanged-whsAt Higher.
New YoRK, October 26. Money in
better demand at 2@4per cent; prime
mercantile paper 4@5 per cent; foreign
exchange dull at 483@4s5.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

GovERSNENTs-Dul and strong.
FouIs and-a-han
Pacific skies Of
STATE SEcUNTIEs-Dull and heavy.
RAILwAYs-Less active than at any time
last week; total sales, Si,l63,OOO.
Stocks-The market was very active
and strong at the opening to-day. 1t
opened ! to higher than 1t closed Satur-
day. The activity and advance culmina-
ted in about half an hour, aud from that
time till three o'clock the market was
weak, though the decline was not continu.
Gus. On final dealings, although some
what irregular, the prices were generally
steady at or near the lowest quotations Of
the day and from ! to q per cent lower.
The greatest decline in the active list was
in New Jersey Central, which elbows
net loss of q. Reading
is down II, Delaware and Hudson
IA, Lsckswanna !, St. Paul !, Northwest
ern I, Omaha common IL, Lake Shore ],
New York Central II, Colorado Coal ano
Iron Is, Missouri, Kansas and Texas,
Missouri Pacific, aud Oregon Navigation
each |, and Northern Pacific preferred Il
Der csnk. Total sales for the day were
AL, 643 skaRes.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
CONSUmP Tl0N.

.n,yes sonuVs rsrassy cor the shove dlssaEei b
A. sss tnoasandB of casgs Of the WORT kind and o
.oay q snding have Osan cared. Indeed, 50 strong
!, . taltA IN IL eaicscy that viii seBp Two BUJ
isgoa ihls tllasss V any uEersE. 9,vs szpreU
aad P. U, sdirsss.
$50
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
FLOUR, GRAIN AND FEED.
DRY GOODS.
New York.

New York.
New YoRK, October 26 Dry Goods-
The general market has been quiet in de-
mand, with some request for cottonades
and other heavy cottons, with the principal
movement resus ipg from deliveries OF
goods sold 10 srtsve.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
n

other preparations. A particle Is applied into each
nostrt, relieves pain at once IL agreeable to use
It Cleanses the head. Auays Infiamma.
ton. Heals the Sores. Restores the Sense
Of Taste, Smell, Bearing. A Thorough
Treatment VIII Cure. Not q Liquid, or
snuf. Apply into nostrIis.
Prcs so cts. at druggists; or By mail Send tos cir
cular. ELY BEoTHEhSt
Tvs Druggists, 0vego, N. Y.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
aHNO. Railroao,

b-s 4 q " haA1roeos
Leave Bellatrs ct $50 p. N. Tor Woodsnsld and
SummsrAac.
Leave BsIlatrs ct S;lS 4 N. for Summarized and
Arrive ;. ssrzirs. 1910 g m, and s.9B pm.
NHEELlNa AND ELM GROVE n. z
I'm AND AFTER MONDAY. NAY 4, 1855.
~ trains on The Wheeling and Elm Grove Rail.
rnad win I'm n follow.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

loss p N. trsiA tnroueA q, Cincinnati vifhsua
hange, with slsspR through 70 Cincinnati.
xsnssvtlls Aeoe1neonSA lsavo Wleelln1 q
fSs q =. and $50 p n, 1sllnAss q s;le { -
and AIS p -. aaily 9ssgl e1nAaH
neandsvtns Asssa1se.1sea ~ 49, =
rs a \ md snive . hssa1svm q nsu -
IssninssS 1Ss.nssa,,n ,says a an = =
Throogk eoasA hsa WAssl1ne = c1Adansa1 40
q kAL layisg Mheslins q IN An, ssu1yna =
Cincinnati & So n q
"a 3 9 -. 49, - % = - = - q
ess11vA N90 - NallSuA n1kl( 90 =
SfraAls ss1S = 60 G - UOsn4 = -
psaa vua ~ = vAsa Iw1lsm sa1p6e0 ,
Tisiss y In ysisays, psiss = - = a.PsA
+. BuRKh
,o; Messt AEeiA 40 ppsA
JOhh hAlLIk
yoHN :s' tA As;Rt s.S'i r ss.s H. ~
C. X. LORD, Gen. ~, Aeonk
RI. DKvRIrs asaenl Aesat WhsatnA
wHEKlINs And PrrISsUlsn pIvislUA.
On and sftsr June 2lst, isss. paassner rasas uU
run - lollovs, Whaling tnst
nRAlzuIA
FOR rtsbuuh-S.to q -. aaily, SO p q.
daily; $40 p. m. and ties q n, dAsiy szss1t -
fcr wsAinstn p n. saiiy sssssa su,As,.
AxHvAlA
rruu PsshsaryA-s.os . u, lsiiy, Il .0 q y. ca
600 D.. deity sxcspt Sunday; iois p H., tsily
From M.shins'e.mn . = ~ ANY sasss< ~
aTi '0'i' e K. nRb, asns.l ru.,ns,r Ara
b DUNHAM, General Manager.
1T. LANE. Tnvslins AessI wsssline
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

Ia: - ~ =. sssr,,uls.s
; -; - - - r! 80 - (: C..
Ct So. = 8:
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
TUTT'S hair DYE.

GRAY HAIR or WHISPERS changed 20
Glossy BLACK by q single application OF
his DTs. Is imparts . natural color, actI
rnstantsucously. Sold by Druggists, %
cent by express on receipt Of e.
Office, - MURRAY ST., New YORK
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

Hn enlarged 10 ss-colunn papsr. making u By On
Odds the LARGEST NEW8PARm II fHu
STATE and reduced ths pries 10 sl.oe pr On
mum IN slnhs Of tsn or nsra O n eluhbsA VIII
your county paper u WIN b ISN'T q TIE sane prize
eight page paper With long eolunnA and but In
tied number Of ADVERTISEMENT, making II the mos
important and valuable nsvspsps you can taks
Its srATR NEws, NEWS Of the WORLD
STORIES, MISCELLANY, HOUSEHOLD sns
FARMING HINTS, and STOCK, PRODUCE sns
WOOL MARKETS msks Il the
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

Case Light dsmsna and firm mid ONO
lacipsg lol@1ie:
ToTEDo, o., October Is Wheat
eteady; cash or November 94e: December
csc; January 963c; February 96Ic; May
81 OBJ Corn Unchanged; cam Ale;
November 4llc: year size; May 383c.
Oats Unchanged; cash or Novelnber 2Ic;
May 3ltc. Clover Seed-Quiet; cash or
November IS so; December S. so; Jam
nary S. 70.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
KETROLEUM
PiftsbnFg.

PIrfsBrRo, October 26.-PsifoIs1na-.
Irregular, and trading fairly activs Na'
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

OHIO RIVER RAILROAD.
THINE TABLE, ookxpCrsD ToJuLr 8 isA
j Trsins lnvs Pan Handle Dlatioa, tpst q fSoVs
enth street, near puhlis landing, - foilsUp- On.
tral Standard Tns-vhteh h q nisrtes uovu
than whssliss time,
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
100 600 Ticksts st Five Dollau Each. Fractions IN
Fiiths IN proportion.

1851 Prizes amounting 800
10 tie once e tka Company IN New Orleans.
For further information udte Clearly, diving tnl
sddress POSTAL NOTES, Exprsis Money On
dars OF EeE YORK Exchange in ordinary letts,
Currency By express IAN sons Of IS and apsards tt
our expenss) addronsd u. A. DAUPAIN,
New Orleans, Ia,
or IL ADAO M.,h,nrtop. 20
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

Of Shadbols 3 Boyd. West Water street..
aid:
"Yss nail sars SCARCE sa25 ssrsd, and
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

I'VE don't do q very large trade in nails
We had large stock when the prices
went up and have now about 200 keys, 40
We are getting the benefit Of the rise in
prices"
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

washington, ID. @.
Make P. o. Money Orders payable and ad.
dress Registered Letters to
NEW ORLEANS NATIONAL BANK,
Mew Orleans, In.
OH
LoUIsiANA NATIONAL BANK,
New Orleans, In.
STATE NATIONAL BANK,
Nsu Orleans. Laa
aEKMANIA NATIONAL BANK,
New Orleans. In.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

o4CHaBso SoAA az IOSN1 1SS.
GoyERSNENTs-Dull and strong
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27
,ast Liberty,
OlnotnnAh.

CINCINNATI, October &c. - Hogs -
Firm; common and light 81 1903 70;
packing and butchers 50 40@3 IS.
Receipts $500 head; shipments 464
head.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-10-27

CINCTEEkTI, u, October Z6.--Cotton-
Quiet; middlings ssc. Fbur-Dull; fam
lily 81 2o@4 5Ol fancy 81 SECS 90.
Wheat-Fair demand No. 2 red 94@
csc; receipts 1000 bushels; shipments
4 500 bushels. Corn-In good demandsbut
lower;No. 2 mixed 444@45c. Oats
Strong and higher; No. mixed Sc. Bye
Quiet; No 2 66c. Barley-In good
demand; No. spring 74c Pork-Dull
at So rs. Lsrd-Quiet at s. s0@5 IS.
Bulk Nests--Dnll and nominal; shopl
ders So 90; short RIB S 10. BACON
Quiet; shoulders IS IS; abort RIB S. S.;
short clear IS 60. Whisky-Active and
firm at 81 OF. Butter-0Ell; eEirs
creamery 29S3Oc; fancy dairy l6@lec,
Linseed 0il-Qniet but firm at 42@43c.
Snear-In fair demand; hard refined ste
sc. Eggs--Barsly steady Of llg9ll3e
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-08-05
KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE.
How Stage Funny Men Keep From
Laughing at Their Own Jokes.

Isn't it marvellous" said one man to
another at the Academy one night not long
ago, show that fellow on the stage can say
such ridiculously funny things without al
lowing a ripple of smile to creep across his
countenance?'
NO. not marvellous exactly" replied the
other, who was an actor, languidly lowering
his opera glasses and curling his mustache
sententiously, ''but it requires an immense
amount of practice. 1t is one of those arts
which the public never appreciate until
brought into contact with some chattering
idiot who always laughs first at his own
jokes. Then the offence becomes appalling
To keep from laughing before an audience
IS difficult thing to dc, and often battles
the most desperate efforts of lecturers and
actors. To save their souls they cannot
choke off the miserable smile that will come
sneaking over the face at the wrong time.
Some of the funny men have spent months
of practice over this one thing Mark Twain
explains that he doesn't smile when cracking
jokes, because saying funny things always
makes him feel sad.
The most successful humoriSt on the stage
is ne who has an expressive face, which he
can settle into position of calm and mourn
ful despair the moment the joke leaves his
lips The more solemn the humorist the
greater the effect of his words. Nothing
pains or dampens the enthusiasm of an audi
ence so much as to discover that the funny
man knows that he is funny When he
laughs he makes them feel as if he is simply
inviting them to do likewise in cold blooded
fashion, and that makes them mad. They
pay their money to see the show, and they
love to delude themselves with the idea that
they are actually discovering the humor
themselves and that they are laughing spon-
taneously.
Many devices have been put in use by ac-
tors and lecturers to keep from smiling, but
the simplest and most effective is to put a
small wooden button in the mouth and bite
down on it every time the impulse to laugh
makes itself manifest. Some grit their teeth
or cringe their toes, and Hughey Dougherty.
the famous minstrel, for long time resorted
to the scheme of sticking pin into his thigh
People who have not been on the stage can
not imagine what agony it is to attempt to
keep from laughing. For this reason they
cannot sympathize with that graceful fellow
up there as he glides about with sinuous mo-
ton alive with suggestive gestures, and drops
one,excruciatingl funny thing after another.
Perhaps he is hardened and can hold his skin
taut, but ten chances to one at this very mo-
ment he is nervously clutching his fingers,
his leg muscles are contracted, his scalp is
itching with suspense, and he would give
$1,000 could he hold board up in front of
him and indulge in q good square Snicker -
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-08-05
PERSONAL AND PECULIAR.

Mr.. Bessemers steel process patents have
yielded him 100000 year for q years.
A scarcity of housefies is remarked In
Yankton, Oak, and there are those who pre-
dict much sickness in consequence.
At Ashland, Penn, and vicinity water is
so scarce that it is sold at eight cents per
gallon.
Ex-Governor Anthony once said: ''The
average Kansas town will vote bonds to buy
a can to tie to dogs tail"
Out of 63 horse races which Louisville
man attended in one year only two were
up-and-up. The others were put up Jobs,
with the winning horse already selected.
Gen. Bob Toombs is on record In an auto
graph album as answering the question, .."If
not yourself, who would you rather be p,
with the word Gladstone"
A man who lives on an Indian farm, Lew
is county, W. Va, is but II years old, and
his bare feet measure thirteen and half in
ches in length.
The Volitic stone of Indiana is claimed to
be the coming material for architectural pur-
poses. 1t is impervious to heat and cold, is
elastic, durable and as susceptible of polish
as marble.
1t is stated that during the late warm sea-
oou lilo cl6cbIlc llSub ueSITOyeu mOCuS, Du2S
and Insects by millions A single globe has
been known to yield from one pint to one
quart of insects each morning
Henry Irving has issued kind of circular
letter to the lessees of several leading thea
tres in London, inviting them to join with
him in withdrawing their advertisements
from the Pail Mall Gazette.
In the enormous canning industries of Or
egon the labor is largely Monaghan. In four
large houses Cinnamon are doing all the
work of canning, under the direction of an
American superintendent, and every firm
employs them.
novel railroad is to be constructed in the
Austrian Tyrol, balloons being utilized for
the upward trip, the car having grooved
wheels to fit in the steeply inclined rails
Grayitation comes into play on the .daWn-
ward trip.
Allen Thorndykee Rice, the proprietor of
The North American Review, has fortune
81 i've millions He is young man, not 49,
it is said, with olive complexion, dark brown
hair, large hazel eyes, good straight nose
and a well-brushed, close-cut beard overhung
by a long mustache
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-08-05
ASH CHAMBER SETS.
$1,000,

One lot of 40 Solid Ash Chamber Sets, Ten
Pieces complete, with Landscape Mirror and Com
sbination Commode. Former Price $4,000.
Now offered at