davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29

4 ftNs0 s'Tculifef tHtu h"fH tffoH HtN-
III, mas since had the opportunity by
actual personal observation to see whether
the statements made by me relative To as
trouoinv were trae His last words were:
Friends. Romans and couutrymen, beware
Of the q-cumber. II VIII up" Ii was not
original but IT was good.
The four great primary periods Of ths
earths history are a follows. viz, 10 wit:
l. The EoZoic or ann of life.
. The Pa.eozaic or perioi OF ancient life
3 The Mesozoic or middle perioi Of life.
4 The Neozoic or recent period of life.
These are all subiivided again. and other
words more dif:calt t. spell are introduced
into science. thus crowding out the vulgar
bert who cannot afford Ia Use high-prioed
terms in constant conversation.
OH timers state that the primitive con-
dition ot the earth was extremely damp.
Wita the onward march Of time AMI after
the lapse OF millions Of years, uen foun1
that they could get along with less aud less
water, unit, at last we see the pleasant,
blissful state II things. Aside from the uss
OF water at our summer resorts that fluid Is
getting to b. less and less popular. Aud
even here at these resorts il is generally
favored with some foreiga subs stance.
The earth's crust is varlou,ly estimat "a in
the matter of thickness. Some think IL A.
$500 miles thick. which would make il safe
to run heavy trains acres, ths earth any
where on top of a second mortgag, whils
other scientists say that if We go down one
tenth of that distance we will reach placs
where the worm dieth not. i do no. wish
TO express an opinion "a to the actual depth
or thickness OF the earth's crust but | be-
lieve tina, it is none too thick To suit me
III.
good fault. We estimate the age of certain
strata Of the earth's formation by m cans of
union OF our knowledge Of plan. and ami
mai life, coupled with our geological re-
search and good memory. The older
scientists IN the field of geology do no. rely
solely upon the tracks Of the hadrasaurus
or the cornucopia for their data. They
simply use these things 10 refresh their
memory.
wish that had time and space to de-
scribe some of the beautiful bacteria and
gigantic worms thai formerly inhabited the
earth Such an aggreg alton of actual. liv-
ing silurian monsters, anv one OF which
would make a man a fortune to-day. if it
could be kept ON ice and exhibited for one
season only. You could take full grown
mastodon to-day, and with no calliope, no
Autographs, no bearded lady. no clown with
four pillows in his pantaloons, and no IRON
jawed woman, you could go across this con-
tinent and successfully compete with the
skatny rink
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
King ErdMald'. Altar

The Century
When Edwin reigned in Britain.
AMI I;elwald reignel in Kent,
Tire news OF Christ's religion
Throughout the country went. :
Eiwin embraced it warmly,
UEqIsstioairg, content.
viii not he too hasty."
Said The canny king Of Kent.
" Z may 5e Christ is strongest,
And he Devil safely pent;
But till ! am quite certain
Said Eedwaid, king of Kent,
"Tll give 20 neither worship
Unqualified assent;
Nv taupIe has two altars."
iOa. canny king OF ksatn
TIE foremost and the biggest
To Christ henceforth is lent;
But tia small one in the corner"
Said Red wald king OF Kent,
"lll keep burning 10 the devil,
That he may see | meant
10 do hlin no dtshonoT.
Said the cannv king of Kent.
Christians rule now in Britain,
And Christian rule in Kent:
And men suppose the devil
Is dead, or safely pent.
But IN some secret corner
The most of them consent
To give him one small altar.
L.l4 Reiwald king Of Kent
HELEN JACKSON. OH. H.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
When n. Lights tho Fire.

Boston Courserl
The world Il far the world Is bright
And jpy attains it, noon;
Life Sky il Hn,hei with rosy lght
During tie honeymoon.
Their hearts o'erfiow with tenderness,
They bill and COO and spoon.
Aud each new day dawns but TO bless,
During the honeymoon.
No cloud obScures the sunshine bright,
For life l. in its June;
The steak j. tender. biscuit light,
During the honeymoon
Zach Of the other never tires,
Their fond hearts beat in tune;
He splits the wood and lights the hres
During the honeymoon.
Fair honeymoon. why shoEid II wanef
Why should il eni so soonf
Why cannot welded life remain
One long. sweet h0neymooni
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29

The college building is of stone, and COM
mands one of the most beautiful sites about
Newport. a. it faces towards the entrance of
Narraganiett bay and looks out upon the
Atlantic. Tn, class which formed on OPEN
ing day consisted Of officers who had just
completed the course at the torpedo station.
though the course OF instruction Is open to
all cfsicers above the grade Of naval cadet
The war college is somewhat analogous TO
the artillery school at Fort Monroe. 1t con-
sists Of four departments as follows:
Department OF naval history. naval tao
tics, etc
Department of military art and science.
Department Of international law
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
No. SO

for him.
II ] lad a masto1on | would rather take
him when lac was young, and then i could
make pet Of him 50 that he would come
and eat oat Of my hand without taking the
hand off AZ the same time A large masto-
todon weighing a hundred tons or SO is
awkward, too. | suppose that nothing is
more painful than to be stepped On by an
sdult mastolon.
l hope at some future time t. write a
paper for The Academy of Science on tbs
subject of Deceased Fauna. Fossiliferous
Debris and Extinct Jokes showing how,
when and why these early forms OF animal
life came to lie extinct
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
A Hint to Wives.
New York Sun.

Wife (at the breakfast table)-What time
was il when you came in last night, deari
Husband with an aching headl-Well-er,
don't know, exactly.
Wife-It must have been O'Clock. Were
Won detained mt the ofiicei
Husband-Er-yes.
Wife tanxiously)-rm afraid You are
working too hard, dear. You ought not to
confine yourself so closely to business. / am
not surprised that you have headache oc-
casionally in the morning. You really
must take better care of yourself. BY the
waY. dear. can you let me have S20f
Husband-Certainly, with pleasure.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
A Fraudulent Spring.


A fraudulent mineral spring has been ex-
posed in Austria Chemicals were intro
duced into an underground stream a con-
siderable distance from its exit The prop
critics of the doctored water were COM
mended honestly by physicians, and the
enterprise had entered upon a career Of
prosperity. when skeptical visitor dug out
the truth
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
I.ntangled.

Detroit Commercial Advertiser1
"Phlander," said a pretty girl tc her
bashful beau. II wish you'd tie this rit5on
al my throat. / can't see how TO do il with
out a glass" OF course, Hi only be 700
glad to- be said. and at once grappled the
strings After an unsuccessful effort OK nve
lainutes, during which he got as red as
brick house aud perspirel like pitcher OF
iceWater on a July windowsill, be stam-
mered: "I-I-dont think / can tle re-
spectacle knot. Miss Mary Suppose,
Philander," she whispered, with pretty
little blush, suppose you call IN preacher
TO assist" Like the unveiling of beauti-
ful mystery the situation unfolded itself 10
fhilander, and he feels better now.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29

Detroit Free Pres. !


as the lady of the house in!' he asked. as
be stood on the steps OF a residence in CaSs
avenue the other morning.
Which lady Of de house," assel the girl
who answered the ring.
why, are there twol'
''Sartin, sab. If YOU want de white laly,
she am out. If yoI has bizness wild de
Guild lady, purceed to develop"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
LFore On Exchange.

A man went into the country last Sunday
for walk He carried his overcoat ON his
arm, but, finding it burdensome, hung it on
a fence. Taking card from his pocket he
wrote: ''Do not touch this coat; infected
with smallpox" He came back two hours
later and found the card, upon which was
written. underneath his warning, Thanks
for the coat. I've had the smallpox
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
DEPARTMENT of naval and military law

Each dei artnient is in charge of a compa-
tent instructor; but besides these, several
eminel. cit zans Who nave been more or leas
intimately connected with military affairs
have consented to teiiver lectures on various
campaigns OF the late civil war, and naval
officer, Admiral Ammen among the mum
Der, have acceptei an invitation from the
president 20 deliver lectures on sui jec.s re-
lating 10 naval warfare. l.. Z Hill
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29

fC'hicagO Times

Ex-senator Sharon, OF California, who .'e-
Gently entertained the English Sir Thomas
and Lady Hesketh, his daughter, received
from his lordship bundle containing suits
Of servants livery. He sent them % his
residence at Mealo park, and when one Of
the servants ventured out in the color end
stockings Of Europe he was mobbed in grand
style by the boys OF the neighborhood.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
He Meant 1t, Too.
David Swing. in The Current. !

IDavId SWING, IN The Current.I
A simple-hearteda and truly devout country
preacher, who had tasted but few of the
drinks OF the world, took dinner with high
toned family, where glass of milk punch
was quietly set down by each plate. in
silence and happiness this new Vicar of
Wakefield quaffed his goblet, ami then
added: Madam, you should daily thank
God for such good cowI'
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
A Harmless Deception.
New Orleans Picayunel ]

When be is out fishing the president has
to wait for bite, just like other people.
Hunting Is different. When Alexis was in
this country, and on the plains, Gen. Sheri-
dan had poor old animal driven up to him
early, so that bis highness could cable to
Russia that he had killed the first buffalo on
the hunt. The deception hurt no one, and
IL nightly pleased Alexis.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
The Young Idea.
.EIarper's Bazaar !

Freddy had been repeatedly told he must
not ask people for money. One day he met
Mr.. Williams who could never resist an ap-
peal from the small boy.
"Mr. Williams" said Freddy, do YOU
ever give five csntses TO little boys what
don't ask for emf
He got the money.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
Why His Hat Sank.

IBostOn OOufltTI
A partially intoxicated man fell over
board from boat the other day, and after
being fished out Of the water looked around
and asked:
where's my hatn
The hat was nowhere to be seen.
II guess said one. lit must have suuk.s
II wonder what made it sinki" the owner
grumbled.
Probably because there was a brick
in it.n
There was no more said.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
Helena, Montana. Thursday, October 20, 1885.

o-ictsUe anu refined tastes never have the
faintsst scent hanging about their letters.
Perfume fingers longer in papel than in
anything else. An odor often recalls men,
ories forgotten and painful No person of
goo-l sensiblities will ever intrude a per.
fame upon another through the medium of
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
NA6OELENA

PUCK.
Sat we meath tns darS yerandah,
Year, AMI years ago;
AMI / .pttly pre- 80 a hand
Deal IA re waite tlau snow,
And ca a ide my reiEA
A. Caz n upoI usr face.
And read hnr Mag lalsna,'
While she sm DJntI her Spanish lace
X ad har Waller, ma sdaleua'-
She hai NHgdaIens'- grace
Rsa her ot the Spanish duel.
Di tine br tlsr, cuurtly, cTual.
Who between the British wooer
All the Ssvilla lady came;
How her lover prom ity slow her
Brother, and then lie in shame
now he dreamed in ng year, after,
Uf the rivers ripping laughter
OF the love be usel 10 know
lu tbs myrtls-curtained villa,
Near the city o. S.v liza,
Years IA years ayo.
Al. how warmly was reading,
As gazsd upon her face!
And my voice took tones Of pleading,
For | sought to win her grace
Surely, thought |, in her veins
Run .0me drop of foreign strains
Their i something half Castilian
In III 70 lip that shames vrrm.lion;
Ia That mas OF raven t-esSeS,
T0s ing like falc,n's jes~es;
Ia that eye with trailing la she's
And 10 witthing upward flashes
SucA, in Zee |, / know,
Shoue where Guadalquivir plashes
Years and years ago.
Looking in her face | read it
How the meter trips!-
And the god Of lovers
On my happy lips
All those words Of mystic sweetnes5
Spoke | with an airy neatnes =,
A. ! nsver had before
A. ! can not speak them more
Ria, plaza and mantilla,
NO palabras' AMI Sevilla.
Caballero AM som brera,
And duenna AMI duerO.
Spada. senior, sabe ID os-
smooth as pipe OF Melibpus--
All, how very well / rea L.
Looking in her lovely eye>l
When twas DER | locke for Cradis
\, she softly novel TO rise.
Doting dream. all dream fallacious-
Years ami years atn,-
For she only said: NY gracious
What lot Of French you know"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
Where Ignorance Il Bliss.
Philadelphia Press.

An Iowa judge has decided that man is
in duty bound 10 tell his wife where he
spends the evenings when he Is away from
home. This decision is all right 10 certain
sxtent, Iut suppose the man doesn't knowi
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
Putting His Foot Ia IL.

''The oil ier tho buriesque actress grows
the higher she kicks" says The Christ ian a I.
Work. Good graciousl How did a relig
,ous editor ever learn this fact.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29

Cincinnati Gazstte: II was never ex-
actly hurried alive" said an old clerk, re-
counting his experiences, "but once worked
week in a store that did not advertise
When i came out my head was almost as
white as you sec it Solitars confinement
did itn
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29

There would be one difficulty. Your ex.
penscs would not lie heavy The mastodon
would be willing 10 beard around and no
one wouid feel like turning mastodou out
of doors If be seemed to be hungry, but he
might get away from you and frolic away
sofar IN one night that you couldn't get him
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
Objects to "a Christian Husband
Boston Giob

Leo Taxi, tine atheist, having turned re-
.igiouS. his wife has sued for divorce
Cause, his c. warlice in becoming Chri5-
tt.p
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
4 NOTED HORSE AND RIDER.
The Ph, nomenai Winnings of Miss Wo"d-
ford and snece.s of McIAnChIln.

,Ew YORK. Sep. 9-Seldom if ever las
il been the province OF Newspaper 10
notice s rIore successful racehorse ald
rider than those Whose pictures we por-
tray today Miss Woodford has won a
record for herself that makes her queen of
the American racing turf for this season,
while Mclaughlin, her famous rider, has
achieved such q success as "a mount that the
horse he rides has long beei considered more
thnn fnvorai IN a race
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
Dangerous without the Postscript.


ICNcagc sum-
To clean teeth use mixture of emery
snd sweet oil, following it with plenty OF
kerosene. T.. S.-We mean the teeth Of cir
eular saws. If course; make no mistake.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
ART NEEDleWORK.
The Beautiful Sketch ia Nor-ted worb
that Hung in the Prophets Chamber.
4

wish i could show you the original of Q
beautiful sketch IN worsted work. Ii hung
in the prophets chamber, which occupied
ON one of nv missionary journeys. didn't
learn the name of the artist, but il was q
grand thing. You may see feeble imita-
tion Of it herewith. The landscape is green,
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-29
Opening OF tic New Naval War COLLEGE,

Opening of tie New Naval War College
NEWPORT. Sep. 9-The new college on
Coasters Harbor island. authorized bv tn.
navy departme lt. in which naval off ,ers
may bc given an advanced course of pro-
fessional study in the science of war ha,
just opsned for the season, under charge of
Commodore 5. b. Luce as president OF the
college
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-02-02

closed same as yesterday; cash Sole; March
36I@36zc, closed at 36sc; May 35a 940lc,
closed at 4O94Osc. 0ats--Dull and heavy;
ranged l@sc lower, but rallied slightly
and closed steady; cash 27ci February 26t
@27lc, closed at &c; March 21s@274c,
closed at 27Ie; May 30@3Olc, closed at
3Olc Rye-Quiet at 6l4@64c. Barley
In fair demand at 65c966c. Flax Seed
Steady at 81 ~. Pork-In fair demand
and frmer at lO@l2Ic higher; cash Sl2 10
@l2 Is; February $l2 05@l2 III, closed
at $l2 l5@l2 l74; March $l2 209l2
2T1, closed at SIP 25(al2 274; May Sl2 IS
@l2 SO, closed at So 45@l2 474. Lard
I'm fair demand and shade frmer; cash
Sc S0@6 S24; February Sc 77k@6 S2l,
closed at s. S2I; March Sc $500 90,
closed at Sc ST4@6 80; May 81 02l@
OH. Bulk Meats In talr demand;
shoulders 81 9O@5 90; short rib S. l59
6 20; short clear Sc 60@6 g.. Whisky
Steady and unchanged at 81 Is. Butter
and Eggs-U ncbangsd.
Philadelphia.
PHILADELRHIA, January Sl.-Flour-
Weak. Wheat-Sirong and higher; No. z
red January S6l@s9c; February $50
SOC; March S9l@9OSc; April 9ls@9lic;
MAY 92S@93lc. Corn-No. ? mixed jan
uary was wanted to cover shorts and under
light offerings closed &c higher: later
months quiet and steady; car lots quiet and
steady; No. mixed 47c; No. ) mixed
4Sc; No. yellow 49c; steamer No. 2 mixed
49c; No. 2 yellow sic; No. 2 mixed jan
-. sE,. Enhr,arr A2lGI0o. Mach ADril
and May 49@4S2. 0ats-Unsettled; No.
2 white 40c; futures firm and unchanged.
Bggs-Dull and weaker; extras 24@2jc.
Cincinnati.
CINCINNATI, January 81. - Cotton
Firm and unchanged. Flour-Quiet and
unchanged. Wheat-Dull aud lower; No
2 red S6687c; receipts 5000 bushels. ship
ments 1000 bushels. Corn-U nsettled aud
weaker; No. 2 mixed Ale. Oats-Easier
at 3Sc. Rye-Steady at re. Barley
Scarce and firm; extra No. 3 fall S5c,
Pork-Firm at Sl2 Is. Lard-Firm al
Sc &C. Bulk Meats-Quiet and firm;
shoulders SC; short rib &c. Bacon
Steady and in fair demand shoulders SIC;
short clear Tic. Whisky-Steady and firm
at 81 Is. Buttcr-Easier but not quotably
lower.
Toledo.
TOLEDO, o., January 3l.-Wheat-
Firmer; No. 2 red cash 1915 bid; February
7SIc; March sole; May 82sc; No. soft
855c. Corn-Demand active; No. 2 cash
Coo bid February 4l!c asked; May 42!c
bid. Oats-Dull; No. 2 3l!c bid. Clover
seed-Dull; prime 81 90,
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-02-02
Many Years.
Snatcheh from the Grave.

Sarsh p Turner and her motA 81 or. s,hoiSt
,, for nineteen years residents ! - ISs
make the following statemeRh - - ~
Of >siiJs Specific. Mrs Tuna
Known IN that community. She says. - r.
~ aHllcted for two or three years N - vrSs
no Erysip'las combined. MyWhOle syA "a 7
70 down, ny strength and appetite gone. ,iaas
ne ~ helpless As 4 child, being lifted from 80
ace oy my friends. was treated BY the -
.elans In the community with Iodide Of "a ~
ne other usual remedies Tor such cases
9p 10 die BY my friends, My sn1srings Hen
% o,scnpticn. and had lost all hope 81 recSf-
Las January was induced to try SWtfts SPe-
nA'lng received pamphlet from the company
ing Us merits. The 6rst bali dozen bottles nad
,LstI 70 bring back hope to my heart, and the
snt q being well again brought Joy q I'd glad
70 tee household. have taken altogether a
- HE sOrss have all healed Sp and diSAp-
~, ny strength has returned and l am able 70
,NNlpNsoi house work. Swlit'S Specific, hon
OeHeNer SnatChEd me from the grave, and | do
NOV nov 70 be grateful enough Tor my reeoT-
Mas. SARAH E. IURNEE"
NleN mat :. $. 5. has saved my daughters life.
20 me most Erstched looking object that
Hlen she commrnced taking IL, being per-
~ SsPeN thank God that We ever heard Of
II -, - a1ed my child. Mrs. p & BRYAN.
EL,sioLDf, Tenn, Oct I, 1854
H,S ll,s on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free.
Ia Ss SnlFI sPErIFIC CO., Drawer 3, Atlanta, Ga
o.s.a,I.4 9ln Bros 4 Co. and Logan 4 Co, At
|-@1etS ahl retail, Whealing " IA
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-02-02

bradford.


BRApFoAD, Pa, January 3l.-Crude Oil
Market dull and unchanged; National
Transit md Tidewater runs not reported
Shipments 6O,T48 barrels; charters. 9,2i6
abrrels; clearances 3,398,000 barrels. Ma
tional Transit certificates opened at 69lc;
closed at same; highest 69sc; lowest CSC.
Titusville.
TITUsyILLE, Pa, January 3l.-National
Transit certificates opened at 69tc; highest
69lc; lowest 69sc; closed at 69lc; ship
ments for entire oil regions 60.7S4 barrels;
charters 9,246 barrels The Hersld's
monthly oil report published Mon isy viii
show that during January 81 wells were
completed with production to-day Of Z, 1913
barrels, and 10 dry holes were drilled. The
number of rigs building in the region is 81,
there are SO wells drilling. The above is an
increase over December of rigs building.
20 wells drilling and l well completed. 1t
shows a decrease Of 1919 barrels IN the
new production and decrease OF 10 in dry
holes
OH CltY.
On CRY, January 3l.-National Transit
certificates opened at cole highest 69!c,
lowest 69!c, closed at sole. Sales Al, 006
barrels; clearances 49,, 400 barrels: runs
54.394 barrels; shipments 57,4O2 barrels;
charters 2,9l6 barrels. Oil City Oil Ex'
change stock, no bid; $3.50 asked, The
Derricks monthly report read to-day in the
Exchange shows rigs up and building 81,
decrease /; wells drilling 80, increase 20;
wells completed 81, increase !; new pro
duciiou 2,293 barrels, decrease 1919 bar
rells: dry holes 10, decrease l.
Pittsburgh.
Pi!TsBrRGH, January Sl.-Petroleum-
Trading continued light during the after
noon, but the market remained without
much change, and closed steady at sole