Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-05-14

once u clerk In the Dublin Post-Ofnce.
He was careless in his work, and one
day tlA head Of the department ang,ily
told him no never would earn his salt
as Il clerk. What shall do, thcnp"
asked Eyre. Better go and enlist
You'd make good target" Next day
Eyre did not put in an appearances. but
late on the second came strolling in
leisurely. "Well, SIR" demanded the
enraged chief, ''explain why you were
absent without leave yesterday "Oh,
l took your advice and enlisted.
Thought I'd just call in and bid you all
good-byev'
1t is just possible for man to be too
polite and accommodating. John Pet
erson, of Houston, is man of that
type. He was eating dinner at res
taurant, when a Galveston man who
sat opposite TO him, and who had just
finished, lit cigar and blew a cloud Of
smoke over the table into his face.
John Peterson did not get mad as some
Houston people might have done when
thus treated by miscreant from RI
val seaport. On the contrary. he said
very pleasantly: "lf my eating inter-
and I'll wait till you get through. y
Teras Sytings.
Years ago, when, a young minister
in trying position out West, we fell
into deep rut of encouragement and
poured out our sorrows in letter to an
eminent doctor Of divinity, who had
grown up with new city and had be-
come one Of the foremost divines and
educators of the State. his reply was
characteristic of the man: MY dear
brother, stick. All that have ever ac-
complishcd in this new country has
been by my sticking power. have
seen two generations of driftwood
swept past my door, but am here yet.
Stick, brother, stick. journal of Ed
ucdtion.
We know of black girl whose name
sounds like this: Harriet Ann Cassia
Ann Betsey Balwin Hanover Ann Berk
ley. Another is called Mary Martha
Magdelene Paulina Ann Paulida Green.
Still .another is Arkansas Tennessee
Louisiana Red River Thomson; and
some years ago there was an old Indian
sauaw in Dade county who rejoiced in
the name of Observation-Disclosures
same-shape-all-the-wa ay-down-foot-just-
Ikea board. These were all the names
that were or have been in actual use,
except that we despair of giving the
sound of Seminole gutturals by means
of English letters. and, therefore, trans.
late the squaw name.-aiatkd (Ftd.
NeUS.
Two young men of this town were
taking pleasant stroll the other eve
ming. A dog suddenly appeared anC
came rushing toward them. The cry
mad dog" was uttered by both, anC
they separated Immediately. One
scrambled up tree, and the othel
stretched his legs, and he has Ions
: ones. too. for home. The dog followed
, in pursuit; the faster the youth ran, thu
faster came the dog. 1t was nip ant
tuck. and the speed of both increased
to the utmost The youth finall,
reached the front gate. rushed in ant
closed it. He turned round with sat
/ istied air, and found that it was hi
own dog which had been chasing hin
in sport Hinesvilie (Ga.) Gazette.
A Danbury man was sure som,
E one was tampering with his meal-bar
rel. He drew pencil-line to shoy
just how high in the barrel the mea
z was, and the next morning the mea
. was fully two inches below the mark
Then he had his idea, which was to Sc
o a steel-strap in the meal. 1t worke
q well, and when he next visited tn
place the trap was gone and there wa
good deal of blood about, at which h
r chuckled greatly and told his neighbor
q who praised his shrewdness, and to
gether they kept watch for some on
e with damaged fingers. Before the
found him this shrewd man went i
haste one morning to the barrel to tax
out meal. There was click and h
was caught in his own trap, which th
thief had returned and set just as h
did at first. He has had one finger Sc
and hopes to save two more from an
putation. DanJury Ne,os.
A facetious master mechanic has tn
!. following posted in his Office for tn
benefit of ''crazy' engineers who ar
always footing their steam whistles
Performance of the locomotive whis
t ties: Nineteen whistles to let the con
ductors and the inhabitants for te
miles around know that the train is &c
, ing to start Twenty-nine whistles an
, two squeals, that it has started. ThiI
|, ty-two whistles down brakes, and thir
, ty-seven whistles up brakes. Fort
whistles and two snGrts, back up.
The instructions add, in case of doubt
, "Whistle like - at street crossings
: Whistle considerable again. Away
.. whistle before dinner. Require tn
fireman to keep the whistle valve ope
during dinner. After dinner whistl
and squirt water, then back up. The
go ahead with II whistle, a spurt, and
rinU u. SUracuse Her0'd