The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-10-24

The other day valued friend favored
me with formal invitation to meet other
friends OF his at his home. In its proper
place on the card appeared the legend, K,
s. V. P.-and in the rush Of business
suffered myself 10 do so inexcusable 9
thing as not to comply with thisTequest.
IsincOrely trust that am the only one oil
oil the favored ones to place himself in a
position which admits OF no explanation.
There is good reason for the request,
Responde: sill rouS plat. Please answer.
The host desires TO know, and ought to be
allowed to know, how many intend TO nc.
cept the invitation, that suitable provision
may be made for their entertainment.
Not to comply with this polite and
reasonable request is q poor return for the
kind invitation and we canLot complain
il he set down against US as wretChediy
bad manners.
am glad to believe that ill.bred
omissions are not common, for 1t would
follow that ordinary politeness is very un-
common. II ask ten friends to dinner,
have right to know whether two or
eight will. come, so that l may know
whether to drop in the pot one potato or
four. Polite custom is agreeable to the
reason OF the thing.
The death Of the celebrated humorist,
Josh Billings, recalls an incident which
happened in this city during one Of Iris
visits. | think it was shortly after the
close OF the war that no leCtuTed in the
old Washington Hall on milk" He was
greeted with fine audience, and many Of
those present were disappointed, having,
no doubt, expected too much. The follow
ing morning tho 'bus that went to Bridge
port to catch the Cleveland 4 Pittsburgh
train was filed with passengers. Natur-
ally those who had attended the lecture
the evening before made running com.
mentB on the lecturer. One gentleman
asked OF another:
"Well, what did you think Of the lec-
tuTe, anyhow"
lit was the --latest thing ever heard"
was the answer.
AT this man sitting in the corner, who
had taken no part in the conversation,
suddenly aroused himself and said, MY
dear sir, admire your irankness. Come
up here and sit on my knee"
That gentleman was josh Billings, and
il was not long before every one in the bus
was Convulsed with laughter.
X
The recent stormy scene in the Investi-
CATION Committee, wherein Barney CALI.
gan was SO etfeCtually subdusd by Hon.
W, p. Hubbard, recalls another scene in
which two Of the attorneys engaged in the
investigation figured. One OF them was
Mr.. Hubbard. The other one, as hear
the story, was quoting from witness's
testimony, when Mr.. Hubbard felt called
upon to remark, "Tho witness said no
such thing"
ale said exactly that" the other re.
torted.
"That is not true, and you know it,"
Mr.. Hubbard said, without any buster.
The other attorney hpraug to his feet,
and circulated: Repeat those words and
I'll smack you in the mouth"
Said Mr.. Hubbard, with great delibera-
ton, rising Us he spoke: THAT is not
true, and you know 1t. Smack"
Even the presiding judge laughed, and
there was no smacking.
Has Anybody Told You
That progressive euchre progresses
That 1t is as catching as tho whooping-
coughP
That 1t is never fatal, il taken in hnnd
in time?
That harmless amusements in the house
are to be encouraged?
T,,t thia vear,s fashions in dress must