davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
Age Before Beauty.

The little island of Ascension is
enrolled in the British naval list
as the tender to II. VI. S. Flora"
Years ago, when the English Oc-
cupied the island, to prevent
Frenchmen from settling on it, as
it was little less than 300 miles
from st. Helena, Napoleon's Jail, a
ship named the Flora was anchor
ed off the island rs u store.
ship. \ portion of the stores were
kept on the shore, aud thus began
the fiction of the tender,' which
remains until this day.
The islaDd is used as n naval
sanitarium and station, and pro-
duces nothing but turtles and rats.
Fresh water is so scarce that it is
dealt out as n ration, the allowance
in plentiful times being two gall
Ions Il day per man. When clothes
are sent to the laundry, the water
Tor washing them has to be sent
also.
A gentleman calling on the sur
geOn mt the hospital found him
dressed in n pair Of blue trousers.
Putting on his coat, he said 'Ex-
cuse my not putting on Il shirt, for
! haven't Il clean one to put on, as
fresh water is now every scarce
The island is under navel rule,
and the wives of the officers take
precedence according to their hus.
bands rank. There was once a
dispute between two ladies as to
which had the right to the front
pew at church. The husband of
one was OF equal rank with the
husband of the other lady, one be-
ing in the marines, and the other
in the navy.
The knotty point was referred to
the commander of the island, who,
being something OLA Solomon, de.
creed:
Tetit be settled by the age Of the
ladies. The elder shall occupy the
front pow, and the younger the Sec
ond one
The next Sunday both ladies ap.
peared in the second pew, and moth
ing was again heard about the Ques-
tion of precedence. -Youths Com
panion.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
EARLY DENTISTRY.

From the Hartford Conn Post
AT the date Of my earliest rec
objection dentistry as now practic.
ed was unknowI. Teeth was ex.
tracted by regular practicing ply
siclans generally, and their only
outfit was an instrument known as
the turnkey or 'hawk'S BILL 1t
was constructed like u common
nail gimlet with a movable hook
at the end, which could be turned
so as to seize upon any tooth what
ever its position then bya twist.
ing motion the offending molar
was rolled out. In country places
where physicians were sparsely
located, men in various Occupa.
tiOls wolld keep a turnkey and
perform the service. In one in
stance | know Of n lady who ac-
ouired the reputation Of an expert
at the business and had quite an
extensive practice. The first artiG.
cial tooth which ! ever saw was
inserted by an itinorant dentist
1t was secured upon metal pivot
or dowell and the pivot was forced
into the stump of decayed tooth.
They were made from ivory or cat
ties teeth, and sometimes secured
on wood instead of metal pivOts. In
1885 there were in this city but
three professional dentists. Not
far from that time some one had
secured two or more teeth TO me.
talic spring which clasped the ad-
Joining teeth in such a manner as to
hold them in position. That was
thought to be a wonderful achieve
ment and was proclaimed to the
world. In that year there were
slaughtered at one place near this
city several hundred head Of cattle
for barreling, and carloads OF
heads were piled near the slaugh-
terhOuse. l saw one of those dent
lists approach them with saw and
sack and select such specimens as
suited him. He than sawed off the
under jaws containing the teeth,
which he desired, and after filling
his sack he put them into his bug.
gy and departed. Somebody's
mouth was doubtless Ornamented
with those teeth, and they took
satisfaction in showing their ivory
Since that period I shall not at.
tempt to describe the inventions,
progress and improvements in the
science, for | am utterly incapable.
Instead of three we now have
twcnty-three Of the profession in
this city,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
FccpnlTlc W0mep.

One who will run past a dry
goods store window.
One who doesn't think her child
the sweetest in the world.
Who thinks some other wOmans
sealskin sacQue is better than her
own.
Whose preacher and doctor are
not better than any one else's.
Who doesn't think she is the on
ly woman in the world who is mis-
understood.
Who wouldn rather go to an
Italian opera, where she doesn't
understand Il word or a note, than
to hear the same thing sung in
English.
Who doesn't spend less money
in week than her husband does
in u day, and stand more hard
luck without complaining than he
ever dreamed of.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
Owed 10 My Boarding House


Air-The old Oakea Bucket.
BY A BOARDER.
How dear to my purse is the boarding
house racket,
Its sour-mash potato, its roast-beef 80
dry;
Its dough-nut so hard that hammer won't
crack it;
Its fre-proof, back-number, dried-apple
pie,
Oh, the pie-crust so clammy, so greasy, 80
fanny
No pen can do justice to clearinghouse
pie.
The "tea-dust" Bohea and chlccory Mocha ;
The fraudulent bread made of pdPier
mache
The grocery cracker so freckledand smoky ;
The burglar proof butter, so brindled and
gray,
Oh, the strong, long haired butter-so ut
terly utter,
Please call in the barber-or take il
away.
l am taking French leave Of my present
location
But ere | dcpart-fOr my land-lady''
sake
As a souruir precious, Of lasting duration
ing-hOuse steak.
Oh, the highway is rough but the steak
sure, is tough;
10 shall tramp while. live, and ther
dance at my wake.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
Lady GLADYS and The Earl.

London Letter to Boston Herald.
The engagement ofGladys, Lady
Lonsdale, is the latest social event.
The happy man whom fate has des-
tined to he the second husband of
this unusually tall daughter of the
gods is the Earl dc Grey, who is a
famous shot, and has won so many
matches that it is not strange that
he should have brought down the
beautiful widow. Gladys, Lady
Lonsdale, has had a brilliant but
scarcely happy life. The express
sion of her lovely, if somewhat
semetic, countcnance is however,
above all one of insOuciance. She
looks as though she never had a
care in her life and as though her
first husband was not Il diSsipated
gentlemen who spent most of his
life yachting, and concerning whom
she uttered the famous ultimatum,
I'll cure him or leave him. Heaven
spared her either alternative, and
she has borne her widowhood lightly.
As she is almost a giantees, with a
magnificent figure, a handsome,
animated face, with soft dark eyes
and coral lips, disclosing white
teeth, an abundance of reddish
brown hair, always worn in coil
of tiny braids, Gladys, Lady Ions
dale, cannot help being conspicuous
but her demeanor, while genial, is
always refined. RumOr decided
that she would engage herself to
Mr.. Luke White, but was wrong
and that strapping gentleman has
since married. Then it was decid-
ed-by rumor-that she would be-
come my Lady Durham, in case
Lord Durham succeeded in putting
his wife away on the ground of in
sanity, which was manifestly absurd
since he had known Lord Durham
for some time, and, had he wished
to. he could have proposed to her
while he was still bachelor. 1t
will be remembered that Gladys,
Lady Lonsdale gave evidence Of an
unimportant character at the re-
cent trial of the celebrated case,
and was the lady whom the noble
lord jokingly proposed to kiss when
travelling with her and Lady Dur
ham up to town. The publicity in
to which the merry widow was
brought doubtless prccipitated the
Earl de Grey's proposal Ito is q
very eligible match In every way
and as the Countess de Grey, Lady
Lonsdale will find her present pres
tige enhanced, since to be a dowa
ger at her age and with her looks Il
an incOngruity.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
The World Would be Better
For IL.

If men cared less for wealth and fame,
And less for battlefields and glory
IT writ in bnman hearts a name
Seemed better than in song and story
If men, instead Of nursing pride,
Would learn TO hats il and abhOr il
II more relied on love to guide
The world would be the better for il.
II men dealt less in stocks aud lands,
And more in bonds and deeds fraternal
II Loves work had more willing hands,
To link this world to the supernal;
II men stored up Loves oil and wine,
And on bruised human hearts would
pour it;
II yours" and "mine' would once
combine
The world would be the better for it.
If moro would act the play Of life,
And fewer spoil it in rehearsal;
II bigotry would sheathe its knife
Till good became more universal;
II customs, gray with ages grown,
Had fewer blind men 10 adore it;
II talent shOne for truth alone
The world would be the better for it.
If men were wise in little things
Affecting less in all their dealings
If hearts bad fewer rusted strings
To isolate their kindly feelings;
If men, when wrong beats downthe right
Would strike together and restore it,
If right made might in every light
The world would be the better for 1t.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
AMERICAN FABLES.

A Frog who had long dwelt In a
Pond near a Peasants Cabin was
one evening Highly Delighted TO
hear the Peasant remark to his
wife:
"Have you ever Noticed how
Beautifully that Frog Singsp
The speech tickled the Frog
Amazingly, and he at once begau
his Tune and Kept it up all night
long. At daylight the Peasant
came down with Club and called
out:
of you don't leave here Forth
with pll be the death of you y
" What have | done .r asked the
Astonished Frog.
Kept us Awake all night with
your Cracking"
"But it was only Last Evening
that you Complimented me on my
Song"
That is true, but had Heard
only brief Songs and at long inter-
yals."
ORAL:-It is a Dangerous
thing to compliment the man who
makes the Opening Speech at a
ward caucus. Nine times out Of
ten he'll want to 60 to the Legisla-
ture.
THE BEETLE AND THE GRAssHoPPER.
The Beetle and the Grasshopper
met by Accident one day on the
bank of Pond, and each at once
Assumed Important Airs.
81 am Jumper from Jumpers
Vile ~ called the Grasshopper.
"But have twiceyour Strength"
growed the Beetle.
81 have received Column after
Column of Press Noticesw
"And Scientific men have De-
clared that | ought to have been a
IIumming Bird "
They Continued to Chatter and
Boast until they got mad, grappled
with each other, and Rolled into
the Pond to be snapped up by the
Fish.
MoRAL:-" Really said the
Fish, as he Chewed away at the
Bones, "there is very little DIFF
ference between Dead Folks
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
Proven and Gotten.
From the Literary World

From the Literary World.
A Clerk in Lowell writes thus :
Should say 'they have proved
beneficial or they have proven ben
efcialr find a difference ofopin.
ion in the Office on this subject, and
have no books Of reference.
Proved is the correct from, and
the only correct form, unless very
recent usage can be reckOned to
have made proven admissible. The
latter is no legitimate word, prove
and all its compounds being 'weak
verbs. We say approved, not ap'
proven, etc. A few years ago,
proven was never heard except in
the old Scotch law phrase 'nOt
proven and the best dictionaries
do not recognize it except az
Scotticism or a pOetical word.
Gotten is another archaiSm which
recent affectation srestOring to use
Webster and Worcester both call
it 'obsolescent, as it seems to have
been even in the EiEabethan age,
Shakespeare uses it only FIVE time+
(and three of these are in the I'd
and Sd Parts of Henry vi. while
he has got as tn participle in more
instances than we have patience to
count. Milton docs not use it
once in his poetry; we cannot
speak for his prose. Tennyson has
well gotten in Maud, but elsewhere
got as in the familiar lines:
Most can raise the flower now,
For ali have got the seed.
1t is equally rare in all the besi
modern writer's, 50 far as we have
noted but nowadays the school
Mains have got into the way OF
saying gotten, and the young foil
seem to suppose that it il the oRll
correct form.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
Wonderful Discovery.

COnsumptives and all, who Suf-
fer from any affection Of the Throat
and Lungs, can find a certain cure
in DIR. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption. Thousands Of per
manent cures verify the truth OF
this statement. No medicine can
show such Il record of wonderful
cures. Thousands of once hope.
less sufferers now gratefully pro
claim they owe their lives to this
New Discovery. 1t will cost you
nothing 20 give 1t q trial. Free
trial bottles at B. Schmilps drug
store. Large size, SL0O,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
VernaI Reflections

In the Spring the jaded citizen sheds his
frOwsy OvercOat, -,
In the Spring soft new whisker comes
npon the William goat.
Tn the Spring the merry lambkin gamDo'S
on the tender grass,
In the Spring the human stomach yea'n7
for mustard green's and sass.
Tn the Spring the tough old Winter through
the city blows its snOws;
In the Spring the freezing public ruos i's
ears and blows its nose.
In The Spring the festive robin fails to
sound a single note; IA g.,
In the Spring the clerk gets credit io'
another Overcoat.
In the spring the worried merchant hOwli
so hercely, Shut the dooEP
In the Spring the water pipes are fr'zei
harder than before.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
VOL. 65.
BALLAD OF THE JELLY-CAEE.


A little boy whose name was Tim
Once ate some jelly-cake for tea
Which cake did not agree with him,
As bv the sequel you shall see.
"Aly darling child, his mother said,
"Prav do not eat that jelly-cake,
For. after you have gone to bed, 90,
fear twill make your stomach acne
But foolish little Tim demurred
Unto his mothers warning word.
That night, while all the household slept,
Tim felt an awful pain, and then,
From out the dark a nightmare leapt,
And stood upon his abdomen
81 cannot breathew the infant cried
"Oh, Mrs. Nightmare, pity take
"There is no mercy, she replied,
For bows who feast on jelly-cake
And 40. despite the means of Tin,
The cruel nightmare went for him.
At first. she'd tickle Timmys toes,
Or roughly smite his baby check
And now she'd rudely tweak his nose
And other petty vengeance wreak
And then. with hObnails in her shoes
And her two h0rrid eyes ailame,
The mare proceeded TO amuse
Herself by prancing DER bis frame
First TO his throbbing brow, and then
Back TO his little feet again.
At last. fantastic, wild, and weird,
And clad in garments CHASTITY grim,
4 scowling hoOd0O band appeared
And loined in worrying little Tim.
Each member of this hoodoo horde
surrounded Tim with fierce ado
And with long, cruel gimlets bored
His aching system through and through I;
Aud while they labored all night long
The nightmare neighed dismal song.
Next morning, looking pale and wild,
Poor little Tim emerged from bed
" Good gracious what can all the child
His agitated mother said.
we live to learn, responded he,
"And have lived TO learn TO take
Plain bread and butter for my tea,
And never, never, jelly-cake!
For when my hulk with pastry teens,
| must expect unpleasant dreams
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05


Royalties from Nero downward,
besides being patrons of science,
art and literature, often amuse
themselves 10y becoming amateur
disciples Of the muses.. In the
English royal family there is more
than one instance of this, and there
is not European court at which
there is not at least one royal ar
tist In this respect Germany de.
cidedly takes the lead; in arts as
in war. The Crown Prince him.
self is II turner, whose productions
well.known master-turner and
socialist not frequently exhibits in
his shop. The Crown Princess has
given many a proof of her facility
with pen and brush; Prince Viii.
helm, their eldest son, is a photo
grapher, and Prince Heinrich, the
sailor, has inherited his mothers
taste for painting. Other members
of the imperial family have tried,
more or less successfully, their
luck as dramatic authors and nov.
elists. Flute playing since Fred.
erick the Greats time is said to
have been an accomplishment Of
every male H0henzollern.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05

IOR A. MAR TIN,
TAR. B. F. MAPHIS & BRO.
- -Dentists.-

OrUcEs. Woodstock and sAumsyille' virginia
In woodstock, ist and ID weeks OF each month";
In saumsville "a aud tth wocks. ,.
Tho.s In need Of irst class Dentistry Al AoDo'
80 pricss viii DO well O. cali. . $500,
Fsll sets Of Artificial teeth from s'OV 10 si'.OV'
gl5Oo and 5000. 400. e,,..-
Pare Eon hlnnEs from s!.2l to SlO'Vo' Si'ef
snip0s from 7sc. 10 $500. ,,
Ir;,eeiai tsesh put up on solid gold, Gold ana
sensisid Combination Celleoid and Rubber plate =.
Gola aad Porcelain riv0ting. clasps, &c, spe.i-l
attention eivsn TO hlliug and preserving the Ia
e,r.i t.etb. and correcting the irregulariues
an work warranted hrst class.
- rssth e rtracted absolutely without pain BY
the ase Of Nitrous oxide Gas
March Is.-tf
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
- 80 ~--s-
Tired md LRngnld W Qmen

How many women thore are of whom
these words arc true; They feel languid
aud tired, hardly able to bear their weight
on their leot, the bloom all gone from their
checks, irritable aud cross without mean
ing to be, nerves al, upset, worried with
the children, frettcd over little things, a
burden to themselves, and yet with no
acute disease What pity it is. But
few bottles of Parker's Tonic will drive
all this away, and relieve the troubles pc
culiar to their sex.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
Very remarkable Recovery

Mr.. Geo. '. Wiling, OF Manchey.
ter, Mich, writes; 'My wife has
been almost helpless for five years,
so helpless that she could not turn
over in bed alone. She used two
Bottles of Electric BitterS, and is
30 much improved, that she is able
now to do her own work.
Electric Bitters will do all that is
claimed for them. Hundreds OF
testimonials attest their great cura-
tive powers. Only fifty cents a
bottle at B. Schmitt's
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
What Is u Gentleman ?

What is a gentleman Is it a thing
Decked with a scarf-pin, chain, and a
ring,
Dressed in a suit Of immaculate style,
Sporting an eye.glass, lisp, and smile :
Talking of operas. concerts and balls,
Evening assemblies and afternoon calls,
Summing himself at "At Homes ana
bazars,
Whistling mazurkas, and smoking cigars
What is a gentleman Say, is it one
Boasting OF conquests and deeds he has
done
One who unblushingly glories to speak
Things which should call up flush to his
cheek
One. who. whilst railing at actions unjust,
Robs some young heart of its pureness ana
trust
Scorns to steal money, OF jewels, or wealth,
Thinks it no crime TO take honor by
stealth'
What is a gentleman Is it not one
Knowing instinctiycly what he should
shun,
Speaking no word that can injure or pain,
Spreadine no scandal and deep'ning no
stain?
One who knows how to put each at his
ease,
Striving instinctively always to please.
One who can tell by glance atyour cheek
When to be silent, and when he should
speak
What is a gentleman Is it not one
Honestly eating the bread he has won,
Living in uprightness, fearing his God
Leaving no stain on the path he has trod,
Caring not whether his coat may be old,
Prizing sincerity far above gold,
Reckingnot whether his handmay be hard,
Stretching it boldly to grasp its reward
What is a gentleman Say, is it birth
Makes man noble, or adds to his worth
Is there "a family tree 10 be had
Spreading enough TO conceal what is bad
Seek out the man who has God Tor his
Guide;
Nothing TO blush for and nothing to hide !
Be he noble, or be he in trade,
Tkis is the gentleman Nature has made.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05

which was to take them rapidly to
their destination, each felt a regret
that a few hours more would part
them.
He sat silent for a long time af-
ter this, wondering if he dared to
do the thing he wished. He was
lonely, set adrif, in the great world
by the death Of his wife, and he
wanted true, womanly heart TO
sympathize with his. Could he
do better than to ask this lonely
woman, who had no kith or kin in
the world, to share his lot with
him! Could she do better than to
take him, she who evidently had
summerland in her heart, and
could make a bit of brightness
wherever she was? Each surely
needed the other. lie asked her if
she knew any one in his town, and
finding she did know person re-
siding few miles from him, he
took his resolution quickly.
81 have n good farm out there
he said; '1G0 acres under fine i'm
provement, house and Outbnildings
all in fine shape. You can find
ont all abOut me from Mr.. -
y moment ho hesitated as he saw
that she did not realize what he
meant; then he continued earnest
/ ly, looking down into the clear
eyes lifted so learlessly to his: |
| feel as if were looking into the
ewes of my future wife. Am mis-
taken p The last words were
breathed rather than uttered, and
then she understood, and the flame
color mounted over the delicate
features once more, and she said
quietly, 'Do ! look so much like
your wife =
lie was balllcd, and for n mo-
mcnt knew not what to say, then
rallied and said: 'She has gone on
into The future. don't know what
or where that life may be, and |
am lost or lonely without her. |
want that which has gone out OF
my life, and believe you can sup
ply that want. You are alone in
the world, and | can make your
life pleasanter, | am sure TWAS
a temptation, such as only home
less ones can understand but,
after moment, she shook her
head, and then, reading the ques-
tioning look in those keen eyes,
she said, while the color deepcned
in her face:
Il loved once, and have loved
ever since, and it wonld not be
right for me to marry any one, feel
/ ing as do
The door opened and the brake
man called the name of the place
where she was to stop, and the
next moments were spent in gath
cring together her belongings. He
helped her Oh the train, and grasp
ed her hand heartily as he stood
one instant there
Il shall always remember you
and your happy ways of looking
at life, and your faith will help
me : and then he swung on to the
/ slowly.moying train, and she
walked away into the cleaning, a
tear or two falling rs she thought
Of the lonely days to come Altu-
ra Collins, i'm Chicago Current.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05
Poor Fellows!

Frustrated, dcbilitated, ,enteebled,
they feel as if they were hardly
worth picking up. They would
hardly give the toss Of u bright
penny fora chance of a choice be.
tween life and death. But even
such forlon people can be renewed
by the use of Browns Iron Bitters.
1t vitalizes the blood, tones the
nerves, aud renovatcs the system.
Mr.. Isaac q. Weed, Burrs Mills,
o., says, Il used Browns Iron Bit
ters for general weakness, and 1t
helned me greatly
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05

Reciprocity Is all very well in its
way, but when it comes to your
wife wanting You TO reciprocate a
pair of iifty-cent braces with Il fifty
dollar ring, you've got to brace up
and figure out just where the reel.
procity hits you on o sore spot.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05

Backache, stitches in the side,
imitation and soreness of the bowels,
arc symptoms Of u disordered state
OF the digestive aud assimilatiye
organs, which can he promptly
aud thoroughly corrected by the
ase of Ayers Cathartic Pills. As
dinner pills, and as aids to diges-
tion, they have no equal. They cure
constipation,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05

IIow did you contrive to Guilt.
vate such q beautiful black eyer
asked Brown. 'Oh J replied Fogg,
who had been practising upon roll
Ter skates, q raised it from a slip
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-06-05

That taint Of scrofula in your
blood can be wholly cradicated by
Ayers Sarsaparilla.