davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17
WILT AND WISDOM.

Buy what thou hast no need of.
and ere long thou shalt sen thy neces-
saries.
Sleep on pillow-sham is not apt
to be real" observed n philosopher.
No; rot if your wife catches You at it.
They are experimenting ut Staten
Island with some new cannon These
cannon< have the latest style Of breaches,
wit, four pockets, and are very killing.
~ T. Herald.
jacobs old dream WIS not N I'M
reasonable one. His angels did not fly
up to Heavem they went patiently uD
each round of the ladder, and they be-
gan at the Christian Register.
-" WALL" said Mrs. Spriggins in re-
Spouse to a remonstrance from her hus-
band, Il got tired sittin' up there all
alone in solitaire, so l jrt went down
and percola.ed through the erowd!'-
Life.
Young ladies' at, a certain Western
college are taught how to make bread.
When they graduate they are Known as
college-bread women and are In great
demand with housekeeperS-Buriing-
ton Free Press.
mo. my daughter" said the old
man. you shan't marry that thsr dood
eff kin helm it, but think. father;
think of my happiness. even if you dis
like Algernon Augustus, pleaded the
handsome g.rl. Think OF the heart
ache" ..Jist fur the world Ike yer
NANNY. girl" said the old man, point
ing to his bald head -'See what her
h'ar-takes have done fur me."-Neto-
man Independent
Jock Russell was q farm servant
not far from Carnwath. On day when
Mrs. Brown. the farmers wife. went
into the IN fk-house she fond Jock
down on his knees before milk boyne
and skimming the cream Oft with his
finger and putting it in his mouth.
"Oh. Jock, jock" she exclaimed, Il
don't like that ..Alf, wuman," re-
piled Jock, ..yc don't know what's guide
Tor ye." -GidsgoU Erening Times.
The Happy Plumber
q, the plumber.
The eh old plumber!
Won't he go III strong next SummcrI
He can sport storc-clotncs
And shining collars,
Law of ut spas.
And spend his s.
Happy
Happy
HaDpy OIL rrImhcrl
To whom {: cold winter
Brings warm summer.
-WhifebdN Times.
-Dawny Campbell went TO build a
small Clubhouse OF brick. After the
usual fashion of bricklayers he wrought
from the inside. and, having the ma
terial close be .ide him, the walls were
rising fast when dinner-time arrived.
and with it his son Jock, who brought
his fathers dinner. With honest pride
in his eye Dawnv looked at Jock over
the wall on which he was engaged and
asked: Hoo dye think I'm gettin'
on?" Famous, fether; but hoo dae We
get ooea we've forgot the door" One
look around him showed pawny that
his SON was right: but, looking kindly ut
him, he said: ..Man, Jock, you've cot
a gran held on We; ven be an architect
yet. as shure's yer fathers a mason"
Glasgow EreninJ Times.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

The enormous cathedral of Mos
COW, built to hold 10000 persons and
at cost u E2,OOO.OO is just COM
pleted = has taken fifty years to
build il, and Was intended to COM
memorials she dsfeat of Napoleon.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

~ Any person who takes the paper regu.
larry from the post-office, whether directed TO
his name or whether he Is . subscriber or not
is responsible for the pay.
The courts have decided that refusing to
take newspapers from the postofice, or re-
moving and leaving them uncalled for n
prima facie evidence of INTENTIONAL FRAUD.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

IN an animal gets ont of condition
and does not seem to relish its food. a
littls pure fsxseed boiled in oats and
ied two quarts at time win generally
hshG B hack 70 sense Of hunger again.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

-Field-NassAal Won Moltke has just
published IN hlstorical sketch Of Poland.
IN which - holds that Poland might
hare co,,tinusd free had she not chung
q serfdoun. Gbtesgo Cxrrent.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

The fool knows nothing of shame.
A man can hold mp his head under any
circumstances when there il nothing in
it-N O. Pcoyxne.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

The Language Club says the word
.'menu ' must go. But why? 1t not
infrequently happens that it is the only
luxury ON the bill of fare. Chicago
Journal
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

EARLY potatoes. early peas and
onions are the first crops to be put in
the ground. and they should be planted
rs soon as possible. Farmer.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

"A new rifle capable of dischargin g
three bullets at the same Eaomep, has
bSnH made in Franz
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17

-Philadelphia has three millionaire
newspaper men.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

If the Geographic dispatches are
true-and there is no reason to donbt
them-Gen. Scbofield, being called
upon by Gov. Warren, of Wyoming
Territory, for military aid in the anti
Chinese riots, promptly ordered troops
to be got in readiness to move, and
telegraphed to President Cleveland for
orders, as the law does not permit
United States troops to be used to
suppress except upon an order from the
president. The president was not in
Washington, but was off 'junketing, :"
as the democrats used to call it; the
secretary of war was not in Wash
ington; the secretary of the navy was
not in Washington; the secretary of
the interior was not in Washington (;
the postmaster-general was not in
Washington; the encouragement was
not in Washington-the whole admin
istration was junketing" all over the
country. No answer was received to
Gen. Schoheld's dispatch. Meanwhile
the nation was disgraced by the most
savage and awful anti-Chiuese riot ev-
erknown. Unhappy wretches we're
roasted alive in the confiayration of
their shanties; others were shot down.
and left to be eaten by hogs; others
were brutally pounded to death, Re-
publican officials have taken summer
vacations from Washington in the
past; but they never did so to the neg
lect OF their public duties. aud they
never were out of reach of comnuni-
cation with their subordinates. The
''reform" administration has great
q cid open for reform namely, its own
practices Diet. Post.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

The treasury of the United States
has been keeping up the silver dollars
SO fast under the coinage act that its
vaults are full to bursting. Treasurer
Jordan devised the wonderfully brill
liant scheme OF withdrawing one and
two dollar bills from circulation so as
to get this silver into The hands of the
people. Treasurer Jordan now con-
graduates himself, the treasury de-
partment and the people on the fact
that there Is an increased demand for
silver dollars. Well. what of itG Does
that fact help the business community
any, or prove the least in faver OF
keeping the silver hopper goingG II
small bills are withdrawn and the vol
ume of the currency is kept normal,
something must take their place.
Treasurer Jordan seems to be very
easily surprised and quite as easily
pleased. -Det. Journal.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17
A Good Support.

At certain battle of the late war a
Federal chaplin happened to get into
the vicinity of a battery of artillery
which was holly engaged. The Con-
federate shells were blowing burrows
about the guns, and the cannoneers
were grimly and actively at work to
answer shot for shot. The chaplin ao-
dressed himself to'a sergeant, who
was very efficient, but at the same
time rather profane, in the following
words: my friend, If you go on in
this way can you expect the support
of Divine Providencel" "Ain't expect
in it," said the sergeant. 1.-The ninth
New Jersey has been ordered to sup
port this battery"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

What there are left of the green
hackers are indignant at the fusion in
Iowa with the democrats, the latter
placing f. II. Gillette chairman of the
National Greenback committee, on
their ticket for lieutenant governor.
A number of the faithful in Kentucky.
helped by Judge Guffy, of Morgan
town, have issued circular petition
ing for signatures, asking the national
committee of the party Ito meet at
an early day in September, and to re-
move Gillette from the Craftsmanship
of said committee, and to declare that
hereafter the greenback party will in
all cases run straight ticket, and
that persons favoring fusion will not
be recognized as belonging to the par
~ .--Blade.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17
sowing Grass Seed.

There Is no better time In the whole
year for seeding land to grass than the
present. or as soon after the heat Of
summer is passed as the condition OF
the land will permit There can new
er be any infiexible rules for seeding
land, but there are proper times and
improper times, judicious ways and
bad ways. 1t Is poor time to SOW
grass seed In June or early In July
when the hea. is the greatest, and
especially IL. the soil is dry as 1t has
been for several weeks In many locali-
ties the present summer. Unlike corn
and inillet, grass delights in cool, moist
weather, from the seed is sown till the
crop is harvested, and then continu-
ance of the same kind of weather
while the growing crop is starting up.
Hot dry weather il unfavorable to the
grass crop at any and all times. Ma
lures time for sowing most of the
grass seeds is soon after they ripen IL
summer. The seeds naturally fall In
the shade, and they start into growth
as soon as there is sufficient rain to
moisten the earth's surface. There is
no effort to produce seed the first
year. but the energy of the little grass
plants is all expended in getting "a good
strong foothold upon the soil so that
they shall not be thrown out and des-
troyed by the frosts of winter. Diet.
Advertiser.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

IL is not generally known that n
man refusing to pay for his paper can
be prosecuted like an ordinary criminal
or thief. A New York paper has begun
suit against several delinquent sub
scribers under the U. s. postal law
which says, ''the taking of newspa-
per and the refusal to pay for the sane
renders the person liable to criminal
prosecution as a thief, and person
guilty of the same can be punished as
If he had stolen the goods to the amount
of subscription. Postlnasters are also
liable for price of subscription for al
lowifk papers to accumulate in their
Office when the subscribers have re-
fused to take them from the office. -
Ear.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17
With Fear and Trembling.

do YOU eat hash with forkr r.
asked the landlady of her new boarder.
mo, MN he responded. kindly.
"Ah, you eat it with knife, Them
with some evidence of disapproval.
mo, nm, he replied, more timid-
ly than before.
Indeed! Pray may ask you how
you do eat it -
"Yes'm."
"EowY
with fear and trembling, ma'am. y
He left the same day. -Merchant
TTdUeler.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

The editor of paper in the far West
has decided not to exchanges with any
paper which uses the word ''relegate"
and other words of that character. He
says: This durn foolishness has got
to stop. When busy editoris about
to clip out an article to use as leader.
he discovers that it is chock full OF
those hitalutin words. Aud h. knows
IL he prints it his subscribers will cuss
and swear, aud maybe some of them
will go cunning for the editor. So at
the last moment he has to write up a
thrilling local or shove in patent
medicine adj that has been dead 81,
months. Hereafter we shall not ex
change with such papers. When we
want big words we can find plenty of
them in our old speller and deflner. ~
~ Y. Tribune.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

The secretary of the navy is now
running John Roach's shipyard after
Democratic methods, and not on bust
ness principles, A few days ago six
watchmen were appointed to watch
the unfinished cruisers and the yard.
Instead of appointing any of John
Roach's men, who are familiar with
the yard and the ships, or even citizens
of Chester, where the yard is, six
democratic ward politicians of Phila-
delphia, who don't know anything
about ships or shipyards, were import
ed and appointed. This action of
course Disguised the workmen at the
yards. 1t also disguised the demo
Gratis of Chester, who held u meeting
and passed the following resolution:
ReSolced-That, in view of the large
number of unemployed citizens and
taxpayers of the city of Chester, we
most earnestly protest against the EN-
ployInent of men from other cities on
the government work about being
completed here and our secretary is
hereby instructed to request of the
secretary of the navy that in all such
work citizens of Chester be given first
preference.
One democratic workingman who
had long been employed by John
Roach expressed the sentiments of the
yard men thus: First they turned
us all out of work, and now, when
they can employ some of us again,
they send Philadelphians here instead,
who probably never saw the shipyard
before and knew nothing about it,
bet. Post.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

Great excitement has been caused
In the vicinity OF Paris, Texas, by the
remarkable recovery of Mr.. j. E.Cor-
lev. who was so helpless he could not
turn in bed, or raise his head; every
body said he was dying of Consump-
ton. A trial bottle of DR.. Kings New
Discovery was sent him. Finding re-
lief. he bought large bottle and box
of DIR. Kings New Life Pills: by the
lime he had taken two boxes of Pills
and two bottles of the Discovery, he
was we'll and had gained in flesh thirty
six pounds.
Trial Bottles of this great Discovery
for Consumption free at DR.. n. IL.
TRAvER's Drug Store.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

1t seems that the elect arc not al
ways the select. Several caseA have
recently been made public where gov
eminent appointments have been re-
called upon the discovery that the APP
poiDtee had, with excellent reason,
spent a portion of bis life in jail or
pcnitentiary. A correspondent at
Washington says that many similar
cases have occurred of which the peo-
pie have not heard, and that a much
larger number of persons have been
dismissed for dissipation, after com
mencing their duties. An Ohio con
gresham had six men appointed to
places under the present administra-
tion aud assigned to duty in Washing
ton. The other day he met one of
them and asked him why he was not at
work. "Ohl" he replied, II have
been dismissed" ''For whatr was
asked. "Getting full" Inquiry con.
cerning the progress of the other FIVE
revealed the fact that two others had
been discharged for drunkenness.
The congressman, it is said was dis
couraged. He ought to have consid-
cred himself enlightened, and to have
Immediately passed a resolution unan-
iulousIy that he would not recommend
any more men unless he knew person
ally of their character and habits =
bet. Journal.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17
Notice for Publication.
LAND OFFICE. REED CITY, MICH,
T,,lxv 1903

July 80, 1885.
~ Office Is hereby given that the following
~ settlers have filed notice of their intention
to make final proof in support OF their claims,
and that said proof will he made before the
Clerk of the Circuit Conrt, Of Kalkaska County
nj Kalkaska, Michigan. on September 10Th, lSSo
viz: Uriah J Shirts. Homestead application No
S33I for the T. "A Sec a. T 80, 5West.
He names the following witnesses to prove his
continuous residence upon, and cultivation OF
said land, viz James Quance; Tn II las Quance;
Robert Pool of Wellington Post ONCE and sam
uei Laughn of Fletcher Post Office.
James Quance Homestead Entry No; 1881, for
the N + a Sec -, in Town y, n X West, ana
names the following witnesses 70 prove MS cox,
tnuous residence upon and cultivation OF said
Land, viz. Josiah Miller, Samuel Laughlin OF
Fletcher Post Office, and Wellington PATTERSON
and Frank Gregg Of Wellington Post once.
Josiah Miller Homestead Entry No, 40 y. Tor
the w Il Section "a in T %. N II West, and
names the following witnesses to prove his con.
tinuous residence upon and cultivation OF said
land viz: James Ouauce. Almon Rogers, Robert
Pool of Wellington Post Office, ana oamuei
Laughlin of Fletcher Post Office
Samuel Laughlin, Homestead Entry No. ~,
for the T. N Section % in Town %, N W.,
and names the following witnesses TO prove ms
continuous residence upon, ana cultNaIoh ..
said land, viz: Wellington Patterson, Robert
Pool James Quance of Wellington r'st Once,
and Josiah Miller of Fletcher Post Office
NATHANIEL CLARK.
Aug6w REGISTER
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

With all the requisites for admission,
there can be no reason on which a
Democratic congress could refuse her
to enter. Dakota is an offensive parti-
san. Her people believe in Republi-
can principles, and would send Re-
publican. senators and representatives
to congress. But this reason is not a
fitting cause for setting aside every
reason of justice and honesty. Dako-
tn should be admitted, If she is an of
fensive partisan Buy,li,lgtO,1 Ha1clseue.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

Political dudes and dreamers may as
we'll get ready 10 see splendid fight.
The Republican party is going to de-
mand fair play, to defend the people
against partisan assassins of life and
character. If this be bloody shirt"
keep your eye on it and you will see it
nailed to the masthead. -Indidnapo-
Us Journal.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17
An Old Man like an Old Wagon.

A physician compares an old man to
an old wagon. With light loading and
careful usage 1t will last for years, but
one heavy load or sudden strain will
break it and ruin it forever. Many peo-
pie reach the age. of fifty or sixty or
seventy measurably free from most of
the pains and inflrmities of age, CHEEKY
in heart and sound in health, ripe in
wisdom and experience, with sympa-
thies mellowed by age. and with reason
able prospects and opportunities for
continued usefulness i'm the world for a
considerable time. Let such persons be
thankful, but let them also be careful.
An old constitution is like an old bone
broken with ease. mended with difficult
ty. A young tree bends to the gale; an
old one snaps and falls before the blast.
A single hard lift, one hour of heating
work, an evening of exposure to rain or
dampness, severe chill, an excess of
food, the unusual indulgence of an APP
petite or passion, a sudden fit of anger,
an improper dose of medicine-any of
these or similar things may cut off IA
valuable life in an hour, and leave the
fair hopes of usefulness and enjoy
ment but a shapeless wreck.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

Our Democratic brethren who are so
annoyed over what they call the ''wav-
ing of the bloody shirt" can take that
ensanguined garment out of politics
forever by giving the Southern negro
the privilege of voting as he pleases
without thereby endangering his life. =
Rllllle
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17
ADVERTISEMENTS.
Public Notice.

NOTICE ishereby given that the Otsego and
~ Crawford County Improvement Com pany
has made application TO the Board OF Control of
the ST. Mary's Falls Ship Canal for an extension
of time TO January LIST 1887 within which 70 COM
plete the improvements contemplated by It's or
ganization. Said application viii be heard and
determfaed by said BOARD at its regular meeting
at the Auditor Gen rails Office in lansing on
Thursday, October LIST, 1885, at 10 o'clock, A. M.
''" ~ ' o.EM. CUTCHEoN,
Aug 10, wSpf $50
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17
POLITICAL AND MISCELLANEOUS.

When President Cleveland opened
the prison door and let Mullen go free,
perhaps he thought that he was obey
ing the Democratic injunction-''Turn
the rascals out"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

The pardon Of Mullen, the Cincinnati
officer who put large number of
coiorcd men in jail so that they could
not vote last October. is conceded
by the Springfield Republican to be
lone OF the gravest of the presidents
mistakes"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

A recent issue of the New York Sun
has the following:
A fine new steamer, floating the flag
of the Mallory line of Texas boats,
lay at her wharf at Burling slip yes
terday, and dwarfed the smaller
steamers around. She Is the ComaI
recently launched from John Roach's
shipyard at Chester. Pa. and she has
just completed her short trip. She
will be the flagship of the line, and
she is certainly the crack boat of the
fleet, being larger and probably faster
than either the Lanpasas or the Ala
mo, hitherto the rival queen of the
Mallory line of steamers. Her engines
are compounded double condensers,
and have already driven her at the
rate of ISL knots an hour, a speed
that could have been safely increased
by another knot.
This description of superb vessel,
in q journal which has been bitter
and unsparing adversary to John
Roach, is the best vindication of that
great ship-builder. and the best rebuke
OF his prosecutors. So long as such
persecution of such men goes on, no
revival of our merchant marine is pos
sible, and of course no extension nor
increase of a foreign market for our
goods can be looked for. American
ships, American agents in South Ameri
ca, Mexico and elsewhere, and new
markets for American goods, the pro-
ducts of our skill and industry, must
go together, whether n democratic
secretary of the navy knows it or not.
-Det. Post.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

The returns from the clearing. hous-
es for the past two weeks have been
strongly indicative of an increased bust
ness activity. All the cities of the first
and second class, except Baltim ore,
show largely increased clearances, the
average increase being more than II
per cent.-Det Post.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

A Georgia man who experienced re-
ligion went crazy with being immersed.
Too much care cannot be exercised in
giving Georgia Democr at his first in
PRODUCTION to water.-Chicdgo 1rid-
une.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17

The democrats cannot give up howl
ing over fraud Hayes" and how the
presidency was stolen from Uncle Sam
my Tilden. To a man up a tree it
would seem that the end of this rant
ing should soon come. Any one who
is beaten at his own game should dis
creetly hold his silence. Port Huron
Tri6the.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-17
very Remarkable Recovery.

Mr.. Gee. V. Willing. of Manchester,
Mich. writes; my wife has been al
most helpless for five years, so helpless
that she could not turn over in bed
alone. She used two Bottles of Elec
trio Ritters. and is SO much improved,
that she is able now to do her own
work."
Electric Bitters, will do all that is
claimed for them. Hundreds of ties.
timonials attest their great curative
powers. Only fifty cents a bottle at
DIR. N. III. TRAvER's Drug Store.