Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-11
THE STORY OF MUG wUDIP.
The Fate or Sore Expertmenters Who
Didn't Know when They Were Wen


Didn't Know when They Were Well
on.
From the Nst0 Yort GRAPHITE.
In a certain part Of Nowhere, which is
a country out West, there is territory
known as Common Ground, and directly
above it, with a plateau unusually large
and fertile, is what is known as the Higher
Altitude.
The people Of this modern fairy land-I
allude especially TO Common Ground-are
divided into two parties. One believes
that the sun moves from east to west. and
the other that it moves from west to east.
1t ought to be supposed that science
would teach them which is the correct
proposition, but the trouble is that one
party believes in science and the other
doesn't. Upon this broad question, ac-
cordingly, they spend their idle hours, &C
casionally introducing it into their daily
avocations; and it is curious fact that
the more they say the less they come to a
conclusion.
They are exceedingly earnest in these
discussions. They argue over their pipes
and their grog, at their tables, while they
are in bed, when they get up, and when
they meet for ordinary conversation.
They have platform speeches on the sun
question, and tOrchlight professions as
well; and sometimes the pulpit joins in,
so that congregations are divided over it
and the family circle is rent in twain or
severed. They have offices TO fill, and the
Offices are filled according TO the wishes
OF the party which wins, which is right
and proper; but at no cOnViVial or Other
gathering is the subject dropped, 50 that
at times it becomes quite tiresome.
One dav there arose In their midst a
youth with thin legs, stiff collar, large
cane and other indications Of superiority,
and said he:
"Clome upeel What you talkee 40
muchee for? sun mOyee from n0rthee
70 southee, and don't you fOrgetee.
Wnoopee!"
De SAID it with such an appearance Of
candor and conviction, particularly the
last word, that they asked him what
part of heaven or which college he came
from.
''Me knowee," was his only reply
Me alice samee Mahdi. You foolee
polite. Me wisee," and he tapped
his forehead SO that it gave out consid-
cradle noise.
The residents of Common Ground had
thereupon new excitement. They quar-
relied among themselves over this Mahdi
one side declaring that he was the true
and the other that he was the false
prophet. They flung at each other YES
sells of the grossest vocal perfumery
They fought with clenched hands and
clubs, and when the struggle was over
it was impossible to do immediate justice
to the wounded; happily there were none
killed
At the close of the conflict a voice came
10 them like a falling star or something Of
that kind, and it said them: ''COme Upee TO
me; come upee and and be happee." They
looked aud beheld the youth OF the thin
legs, the intellectual cane and the high
collar He occupied the OyerhangiDg
portion of the Higher Altitude, and as he
chewed his cane he seemed to be filed
with pity tor the writhing mass below.
''Oh, give US restr' cried out a parti-
san, pausing IN his search for a remnant
of an ear the larger portion of which still
chung to his bruised temple.
"COmee upee and getee it hereof was
the calm reply. "All peace heree-all
sweet restee."
''WOts trumps, you slant-eyed seal
hunter from the wilds of Africa ?" rather
lncoherentlY remarked another partisan,
casually placing bit Of court plaster on
his badly bruised nose. "Wot's yer name
and whar doye hail from, hey?"
"Allee samee Mug Wumpee, alice way
from PAradisee," was the confident re-
Spouse. ''Comee upee and be happee. Alice
offices for Mug Wumpee, and sun mOyee
as dam pleasee."
Theembattled partisans paused to think
this over. They remarked that it seemed
sensible. They passed resolutions looking
to an investigation, and appointed a COM
mittee of five u 20 up to the Higher Alti-
Jude, join the Hon. Mr.. Mug Wump, fol-
low his ways and methods Of living, and
see what would come OF il.
Some months passed by. The leaves
changed from green TO brown, and began
dropping from the trees Of their own
weight, aud the committee had not re-
turned. A new committee went to the
Ii gfer Altitude, and a search revealed
very painful things. There were five
/ graves and there was a skeleton above
/ ground. The latter was apparently that
Of the Hon. Mr.. Mug Wump. A brief let.
ter told the dreadful story.
"Heapee ightee," 1t said tersely. "COm.
/ mittee began wellee. Each mugwumpet
bigger tAan alice other wumpees. SiXee
governmental. Hellee TO payee. All
wisee, no fOolishee. ShOotee, bangee
alice same glave. Sun m0yee northee
southee, eastee, westee. Who careei
I Heap cusseep'
&c ntlemen," said one of the new com
mittce, solemnly taking of his hat anC
wIping his brow with a handkerchief
there have apparently been several
/ bloody caasms here. Let US proceed &c
clasp hands across them. There may be
a heaven for politicians on this earth, but
it is on no geography yet discovered
When it is found there will be no angels
10 occupy it. For my part do not want
TO be an angel. There is toom much human
nature about all of us. We were born
that way. Let US 20 back 30 Common
Ground and have good, old-tashioned
fight"
But the skeleton, clasping the large.
aesthetic cane 10 its fleshless breast, grns
from the Higher Altitude at all the world