News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-07-16

THE BUILDER,
care you interested in the subject of
steamship navigation, sir |" said a
wheezy old man with wandering eye,
as he took a seat and made himself at
home in the private Office of State
street business house the other day. !.
"a. No. E::s i'd the <hea+r
4 ltl4., rather curtly.
= iii man was to tell you he could
build ship that could cross the At
lantic In twenty-four hours, what would
you say9" inquired the old man, lean
ing forward to catch the answer.
'Td say he was cOnfounded fool, !"
responded the merchant with emphatic
promptness.
"Well, sir, 1 can build that ship"
"You can ~
eyes, sir, can."
''Then, sir, permit me to strengthen
my previous remark by saying that l
consider you blamed sight bigger fool
than my first observation indicated"
"Why so, sT2'
because you don't build it. Good
day, SIR"
The old man picked up his hat and
slid out. Chicago Ledger.
SEEKING FORTUNE.
''My dear" said father to his daugh-
ter, chow long ago was it that George
jackson went West to seek his fortune1"
"Just year." the girl replied with
blush.
''Was there anything between you and
George2 1 sometimes thought that he
was fond of you"
''He was, papa" and the girl laid her
face on the old mans shoulder. Il
promised George when he went away
that l would wait for him for years if
necessary"
~ have letter from him."
"Oh, papal" she exclaimed. 'Does
he-er-has he-oh, tell me, what does
he sayl"
"He wants twenty dollars to get home
with. ~. 7. Sun.
KNEW WHAT TT STOOD FOR.
At the dedication of Pilgrim Chapel,
William A. Duncan, of Syracuse, the
State Sunday-school secretary, was ad-
dressing the children in his usual viva
cious manner 'Now am going to di
vide your school into three parts" said
he. ''There are the b. b. IS; what are
they"
''Big boys" was the ready response.
"Good. Then there are the b. 6. g.
What are they?n
"Big girls, shouted forty voices.
''Right again. And last of all, there
are the |. C. IS"
'Iittle kidsr' exclaimed q shrill-
voiced urchin, without waiting for the
question.
The congregation smiled vociferously.
-Rosto,1 Courier
HE CoUBDN'T SEE.
A gentleman who had once been a
member of the Legislature, was arrested
for theft. Said the justice to the cul-
prit:
"You were not satisfied to eat din
ner at the mans restaurant, without
paying for 1t, but you went off with
the caster and spoons besides"
''That's so your honor, but took the
caster and spoons from honest motives" ="
"Honest motives 2"
eyes, l wanted to pawn them, SO
could raise money to pay him for the
dinner. Bee ~
The justice somehow failed to see it.
--Teras Syti'ags.
MILD HINT.
There are some very straightforward
people Id Atistin. One of them came
to 7eras .Svtings office and sauntering
up to the sifter's desk, asked:
"I hear that the Bible has been re-
vised Do you know if many import
ant changes have been made ~
ga good many, bel I've"
"And there is no mis- axe about An
anias being struck dead for lying2"
'No, / believe not.
"Well, if 1 was you 1 would find
out about it." and he strolled out as
unconcernedly as you please. "-1e1as
Syttngs.
FORTUNATE FOR GEORGE.
'Do | love George?" unused Clara,
softly, cor is it simply sisters affection
that feel for"
Just then Bobby burst noisily into the
room and interrupted her sweet medita-
tions.
"Get otit of here, you little bratr' she
shouted, and seizing him by the arm she
shot him through the door.
'Ah, no." she sighed, as she resumed
her interrupted train of thought, my
love for George is not a sisters love. 1t
is something sweeter, purer, higher,
holier. IN Y. San.
IN WESTERN CLIMBS.
Blow gently winds, acre IS the prairies' brow
Across the dimplinR fields OF springing grain,
Breathe softly DER the billowy emerald plain,
Sigh tenderly, Great King! she's breathin' now!
An old ripsnorter from Snorterviue,
With the big red barn from Smedley's hill;
- Of Ian
Just for ballast. you understand;
An a two hoss team an o walnut tree,
An a smoke house mixed in grand melee
An big red COW, an yoke of steers.
An lightnin' enough for hundred years;
An whistle, an shriek an thunder an roar,
A hundred mild minute or more;
I'd give my farm for to be mole
just while could dig a cyclone hole.
BURDETTE.
NEEDED LOTS OF SALT.
They were waiting on the bench, and
as Claude held her little hand he MUIR
INJURED
sI love to be with you, Clarbel; it
seems SO bright and l feel so much
fresher."
"Do you, dear I should not think
that possible. ;"
And then he dropped her hand and
turned sadly away, his sighs keeping
time to the surges as they lashed them
selves to foam on the pebbly beach,
| Boston Post.
WHAT THEY WILL DO.
Mrs. Minks-''There it is again. To
bacco, always tobacco. What will yot
do when you get to heaven, where there
are no spittoons~
Mr.. Minks- perhaps there will b'
some there"
Mrs. Minks-'I -'Indeed they won't
The idea. What will you do then, Mr.
Minks2 Just answer that"
Mr.. Minks-'I really don't know, m!
! dear, unless we can get seats near thu
edge "-Phiia. CAL.
CRrTICIzING A PAINTING.
A young artist who was displaying hi
latest work, a picture of a lion, heroi,
size to lady, said to the latter's littl'
boy:
;'Don't be afraid, little boy, the lioi
won't hurt you. He is not alive"
"Oh, Pm not afraid" replied the lit
tie boy; he don't look as if he wa
alive"
A SAD EXPERIENCE.
When to the picnic goes the dude ant
leaves behind the dusty town, and on Al
ant hill in the wood quite unsuspectingl
sits down, what artists pencil can POI
tray the sudden start, the frenzied mien
the speed with which he hastes away I
seek some lone, sequestered scene r
Boston Courier.