The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1885-07-23
Rules and Regulations of A. Model Summer
Hotel,

Rules and Regulations of A Model Summe
Hotel.
This hotel has been built and ar.
ranged for the special comfort and
convenience of summer boarders.
On arrival, each guest will be asked
how he likes the situation, and if he
says the hotel ought to have been
placed up on the knoll or farther
down toward the village, the loea
ton of the house will be immedi-
ately changed. Corner front room
up only one flight for every guest
Baths, gas, closets, hot and cold
water, laundry, telegraph, restau-
rants, fire alarm, billiard table,
daily papers, coupe, sewing ma
chine, grand piano, a clergyman,
and all other modern cOnvcniences
in every room. Meals every min
utes if desired, and consequently no
second table. English, French and
German dictionaries furnished ev-
cry guest to make up such bill of
fare as he may desire, without re
gard 10 the bill affair after ward at
the Office. Walters of any nation
ality or color desired. Every wait
er furnished with a liberetto, but
ton-hole bouquet, full dress suit,
ball tablets, and his hair parted in
the middle. Every guest will have
the best seat in the dining hall and
the best waiter in the house. ANY
guest not getting his breakfast red
hot, or experiencing a delay OF six
teen seconds after giving his order
for dinner, will please mention the
fact at the office, and the cook and
the walters will be blown from the
mou hs of cannons in front of the
hotel at once Children will be
welcomed with delight, and are re-
quested to bring hoop sticks and
hockeys to bang the carved rose
wood furniture, especially prepared
for that purpose, and peg tops to
spin on the velvet carpets; they
will be allowed to bang on the pr
amos, yell in the halls, slide down
the banistesr, fall down stairs, car
ry away dessert enough for a small
family in their pockets at dinner,
and make themselves as disagreea-
BILE as the fondest mother can de-
sire.
Washing allowed in the rooms,
and ladies giving an order to ''put |
me on fiat iron" will be put on
one at any hour of the day or night.
A discreet waiter belonging to
the Masons, Odd Fellows, Knights
of Pythias, and who was never
known to even tell the time of day,
has been employed to carry milk
punches and hot toddies to ladies'
room in the evening. Every lady
will be considered the belle of the
house and roW-boys will answer the
bell promptly Should any row
boy fail to appear at any guests
door with a pitcher of ice water,
more towels, a gin cocktail, and
pen, ink and paper before the
guests hand has left the bell knob,
be will be branded "Front" on the
forehead and imprisoned for life.
The office clerk has been careful
y selected to please everybody, and
can lead in prayer, play draw po-
ker, match worsted at the village
store, shake for the drinks at any
hour, day or night, play billiards,
Is q good Waltzer, and can dance
5he German, make a fourth at
game Of euchre, amuse the children,
repeat the Beecher trial from mem
Dry, is a good judge of horses, as a
'ailway and steamboat reference is
ar superior to Appleton's or any
body else's guide, will firt with any
yOung lady, and don't mind being
damned any more than a Connect !
,ut river. Can room forty people
n the best room in the house when
he hotel is full, attend to the an
lunciator, and answer questions in
4reek, Ohoctaw, Hebrew, Irish or
my other polite language at the
anne moment without turning a
lair.
Dogs allowed in any room in the :
louise, including the with )ine room :
Gentlemen can drink, smoke, chew, !;
.amble, tell shady stories, stare at J.
he new arrivals, and indulge in
ny other innocent amusement :
ommol to watering places, in any ;
art of the hotel. The landlord :
7ill always be happy to hear that q
ONE other hotel sis the best house
n the country" Special attention :
iven to parties who can give infor- :
nation as to chow these things are
one in Eewrup." The proprietor +
7ill take it as a personal affront if
ny guest on leaving should
all to dispute his bill, tell him that a..
e is a swindler, his house barn,
is table Yretohed, his wines vile,
nd that he (the guest) "neYer
7as so imposed upon IL his life, {
''!! never stay there again, and
means to warn his friends"