The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-06-13
HTnOROTS.

"WHo was the doctor?" asks a sub,
scriber. We don't know, but We be-
lieve he was the one who survived
n. Y. Graphic.
Chow can | find out all about the
young lady to whom | am engaged ?"
asks a prospective Benedict. Has she
ayounger brother? If so, consult him
Boston Post.
THE Buffalo Express observes that
very few of us can have both glory and
grub That depends, we think, on
whether we write poetry ornot.-Hor-
neILsville Times.
SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher-"What is
the meaning of the words, 'QuenchnOt
the spirit?'" Bright boy-"Papa says
it means, don't put in any water. =
New Orleans PicayUne.
"WHY is it called honeymoon ?" asks
an exchange. Honey, because it Is
full of sells, and moon, because 1t
''comes high" Throw another one at
us.-Yonker's Statesman.
An exchange says that "the Prince
OF Wales drew well in Cork the other
day." Next thing we know OF he'll 90
in the minstrel business altogether.
We need some new wcomedians.-Evaus-
vile 1rgus.
DURING Jay GOuld's late ocean trip
a monster shark il lowed his yacht
for ii irty-six hours, and only hauled
off when a note denying that Gould
was aboard was tossed over the rail
Detroit Free Press.
AN American claims that the North
Pole is the site OF the old garden of
Eden. Then Ewes preference for fig
leaves over sealskin is explained; they
cost more and had to be imported
BinghamtOn Republican.
THE summer has come. Do not
keep little children penned up indoors,
fearing fresh air will give them colds
or the sunshine spoil their complex
ions. Turn the rascals Out.-CfncH-
matt Commercial Gazette.
NINE. BARRIos is reported to have
said: ''The best monument to my
husband would be a man to take his
place" A young and pretty widow
with SS,000,000 ought not to wait
long in a matter OF that kind.
Nor to be outdOne as a medium of
revised religious information, the
Tribune remarks that elaborate
preparations are being made for the
conservation, on Tuesday, June 2, of
the Stewart Memorial Cathedral of the
Incarceration at Garden City, l.. |. -
New York Evening Post.
Young FEATHERLY Ito hostess)-
You have children, haveyou not, Mrs.
B? Mrs. Bob, yes. | have a boy
Z years old, and a little girl OF ).
Young Featherly (astonished i de
clare, how time flies 1t doesn't seem
possible you have been married twelve
years.--New York Sun.
OLD BuKINs-''Yes, Stree. | never
made no mistake when gave my son
an edication." Old Pilkins-'DOin'
well since he went through college, eh?"
''Well, should say he was. He's Just
that smart now he can make more
in a month than | make in a year."
"YOu don't say so Well, Well Edica-
ton is a great thing, that's a fact.
What's his business?" Hes a base
ball pitcher. .'-PhHa. Call
ARE you enjoying your dinner ?"
asked Bobby of the minister, who was
taking Sunday dinner with the fami-
". Yes, Bobby" responded the
minister, pleasantly. Mamma said
this morning that she thought you
would, as she didn't supposet that with
your small salary and big family you
got much to eat from one weeks end
to another. New York Times.
SQUIRE PUAfMEL-'I tell you, dea-
con, my daughter Sue is going to be a
frst-class artist. Her cattle pictures
are so natural you can almost hear
the critters low" Deacon FUNNEL
"Pooty good. But my daughter Sal
can beat that. She haint no faith in
cattle pieces. But she's painted some
green cowcumbers so nat raj that the
hull family came mighty near havin'
chol'ra morbus. .'-BOstOn Beacon.
"IF we want to get at the genuine,
unadulterated primitive man." says a
scientific writer, eve must 90 back,
not for 25O,OOO winters alone, but per-
hape for two or three million years.
into the dim past of the tertiary ages. !"
Some of our readers may be anxious
to "get al" the genuine, primitive
man, but we advise them not to go
back so many years into the dim past
to do so. The probabilities are that
they would find the man dead anyway.
-Norristown Herald.
HosTEss-Are you a musician, Mr..
Sissy? Mr.. Sissy (who is dying tog give
an exhibition of his ability)-Well-er
yes. think | can lay claim to some
knowledge of music. Hostess-I am
delighted to know it. My daughter IS
about to play, and I would be very
glad if you would kindly turn the
music for her.
"You think this is a fine sunset ?''
inquired a New Orleans girl OF a North
ern visitor. "Fine?" heresponded en-
Enthusiastically 1T is the loveliest in
the world" 'tAh," she replied with a
/ tone of regret IN her voice. "If you
1 think this is beautiful, you ought to
have seen those We used to have be-
! fore the war. ."-EX.
CONE of our leading physicians liv-
/ ing in Marlboro Street" says the
| Boston correspondent of the Albany
/ Journal, ''has a little daughter 10
years old. She has all the idiOsyn-
! crasies OF the carefully y-instructed,
highly-cultivated Boston youth. She
goes to Papantl's dancing school and
! also to Sunday class at Trinity Church,
reads Carlyle and drives a village cart,
and is altogether a very intelligent
and accomplished young person. The
other morning she leaned over the
/ banister and called down stairs to her
/ father, who was Just going out to visit
| his patients: Papa Well, well,
dear, what is it? I'm in a hurry, re-
piled papa 20, well, only wanted to
/ ask you a few questions about Jesus
| Christ and condensed milk. Never
| mind -"