Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1885-06-05
The Editor and the Book Agents.

We can stand book agent, provid-
ed he is of the masculine denomina-
ton. We are not afraid of him. We
know that he Is coming and can deal
with him without buying his book. He
may be pompous and courtly or he
may be pimplcd and cadaverous; his
lips may be believed With honeyed
batteries; he may he oily and crafty in
his approaches; he may modestly ask
for ''just moment oil our precious
times" he may say that he only Graves
the use of our name, or he may charge
in upon ms and seek to carry Us by
storm. This does not matter with us.
He is man, and so are we in small
way, and we have our rights. We tell
him what we will and what we won't,
and that ends il.
But when she comes. then is the win
ter of our discomfort. We bow to the
storm, and have no remarks to submit.
All the hidden resources OF our polite
ness are called into requisition. She
is woman and has the advantage of
us. She has seen better days, and has
tear in her eye. She belongs to an
old family and swan in luxury in her
youth. Little cares she for money;
character is everything with her. She
is working in the interests of literature
and to lift up society. Her book is
for the home circle, and is destined to
ennoble the character of mothers. and
in that way TO add glory to our repub-
lican institutions.
She came the other day. How glib
and rafting she wasl She had us be-
fore we knew it. She had us sitting
as erect sas sunbeam in July, and
meekly nodding assent TO her sage OBJ
servatiops. We neither moved hand
nor foot, and, rs for talking. we had
no chance. sShe talked fast, and she
talked long, and she talked all the
tAne., After RECALLING us with thu
grandeur of hen ancestry; the pleas
ures of her, childhood, and the sur
passing Mcellence OF her book, she
touched tisIp. She did it handsome
ly. She eXpatiated on the potency Of
our iniluencesthe value of our perso-
nal signature, land the well-known
Warmth and Kindness of heart. Great
ness, she limited. always had tear on
its cheek for the struggling and un-
fortunate. And there we were-dumb
anu lOOilSllg II NIClliH W ltI
Time came and went, but she went on,
and on. and on. Ne felt fatigued and
lonesome, and w6lder how it would
end. FINALLY, sir gradually descend
ed 1rom her cireeo ehocutory flight,an
lit IN the regio'"I business. The at
rhosphere bee, : commercial, and it
was question, .jf dollars and cents.
She had book .or sale and desired to
sell us a copy. 1t ceased to be a ques-
lion of ancestry, and the poetry and
praise all faded away. The spell was
broken, and all we had to do was to
say whether or not we would buy the
book.
We did it as well as we could've
spoke in bright and respectful tone
we even thanked her for her visit
we paid her a tribute to her brilliant
conversational gifts-we wished hel
high fortune and "A golden future, and
expressed regret that it had to be so.
How her whole aspect changed! She
patted her foot with petulance, her
face flushed. she breathed wildly, and
swept angrily away.
And yet truly we felt sorry for her.
1t hurt us to think of her hard lot and
desperate devices 10 stem the tide of
adverse fortune. We would have
bought her book. except that we could
not conscientiouslv pay an exorbitant
price for a useless article. - Richmond
(Va.) Religious Herald.