New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-17
THE TALK or TIE DAY

n" ~ are - Give up one of my wives. Will that
satisfy the law T.
Judge: "NO, It WON'T
But I'll have only eleven loft"
That's ten too many ,,A
"Well it's hard mo, but I'll try 10 SeI aiohs WIN
ten If giving up two will satisfy you
"No; you will have to give up all but one
"Ddrn me II will"
"Why should think you would be glad 10 get riu VI
some OF your wives IN these hard times.'
"Tbats lust tho reason why can't afford to lose oHo
Of them Judge It takes twelve to support me as Isl
and am sure should starvc to death with only one
BOSTON sends forty seven members to the Massachu-
eot, uouso Of Representatives. OF these twenty-five
are Irish-Amercans
One Of tho few English peers in Holy Orders died the
o,InT dav. This was the Earl Of Buekinghanshlre'
father of the celebrated Hobart Pacha lie ~s hdcy
TWO wears OF age. Lord Carlisle IS now the Only %
end Earl The Marquis of Donee4ii Is d" Tion rcsen
Lord Petre Is Roman prelate, ana on hIs @
20 tue House OF Lords wore ms gaudy Stie hicoo
The violet cassock Of his ecclesiastical
Living Church
Tho question OF admitting Dakota to the Tn on as a
state III doubtless before the next congress III
some form or other In the last Territorial election e
ueople OF Dakota by large majority ratified the state
1outitution recently formed and the only question for
tc nenprr of Dakota to settle IS whether they shaH
ask to come the Union As one or TWO states. iha
question, unfortunately seems to have divided 'he
citizens of the Territory into two hostile camps anu
dA''lA'o'"'A
Democrat, In Congress are naturally unwilling to ADMIT
pe nrobably Republican state much less two L they
,n holm H. and will seize upon this dssens0n as an
excuse Tor po,tponiug action In the matter 4nere are
doubes, many arguments in aY1r OF adF!sioh Oh luo
Territory andlf keeps on growing a. II mas oeeh uohS
for The pa, few years, the most hdebonnd Demo-
cratic Congress will have to recognize It, claims III to
,,,,bire akoa can console herself with the thought
that ill lelscd states don't always amount to much
after all; .nc goes ahead Of good many Of them
She had Just dropped in for morning call on her way
'U"1 Own know Cicely dear" said she. that it ia
awful; warm. but suppose must wear 'hi' 'ur
trimmed dolman anyhow. ,,,, 81, tho so,oo ono
ION. Icidn't notice Jon h'u II on' ~ " ' SUNNI Wv
you had last year g. 49,, r.. nr,rd ,ov, and
Ia very bad practice this making morning calls
ly,ys lends to the shedding Of tears. Hartford Post
Patient comes in. Homeopathic Doctor after snort
conversations takes littc powder from jar and says
10 the raticnt: Smell that-now you're cured.
Patient says: Doctor how much do owe you
D,ctor says: Twenty dollars" Patient takes out
twcntv.lolllr bill aud says: smell that-now you're
paid"
Mr. Pulitzer's compliments 20 Mr. Dorsheimer arc
rudely put, But II he is true Democratic newspaper
man, Mr.. Dorsaemer can turn his other cheek ior
second smiling without grimace.
rare chance FOR scholarly young men who are
ont of u lob The folowp advertisement appears IN The
baltimore STIR: Wanted. scholar OF ripe attachments
TO review Carpenters one Hundred Proofs that the
Earth l. not a Globe Liberal remuneration offered
Amply 20 william carpenter. No. Il Chew-'t, Bau-
more y B-No one need arIY who has no; courage
epou,h to append his 20 The review for puDNci
ton"
downtown Merchant DO you reside in the city
proper now
proper"
Great scott. Have You gone 10 Boston p
arbat was n queer mistake a .crvaut made IN Phlla-
drlpnA tho other day. SAID Mrs. DE NiSg' TO her
Wnnt mistake :"
Con,cth Not She SAID aud the gr went and asked for
lie Conhcth Not liza Head wonder what sort OF
She PROBABLY tnou;ht 1t was about a bald headed
man Ptt,burg Chronicle Telegraph.
It's said that the Dukc OF Edinburgh has dropped
o deal IT money In hops curing the past few year, on
nj. Kent estate good many young in this
country lror money IN hops when they are brewol.
H,sicy: You are looking for short QUITO fortune.
pe t;uy: That's ln.t what I'm looking for"
Here's your chance. Ile queen bee lays three
thousand egg, in twrut! four hours"
Hear me OUT. Put your wits to work and get up
cross between the queen bee ana the bdrnyard ben and
you will De millionaire III year -lFhl"deIph' 'H'I
Illustrated daily Journalism is beset with difficulties.
ILc noyd has been publishing the same portrait as that
of Mr. Stead of Inc Ptl HpH Gd-cc and of NcwJcrsey
Democratic As,emblyman-clect, while The Morning
Jo.o9lal yesterday depicted Nh Beecher kissing little
girls at the Brooklyn Orphan A,ylum Fair the Plymouth
preacher being ut the time in Chicago.
The man who started the story that horsechestnut
carried IN the trousers pocket Will cure rheumatism
might have been engaged in better business We have
carried in pocket for several yeats ana yet
rheumatism gives rs dab every now aud Butter
PENN Herald.