Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-10-22
Munturous department.
, GREAT pOLITICAL GATHERING.

An old phonograph which has been lying
in Chicago basement for five years or more
was busted off the other evening and placed
on table in the midst of a select gathering
of politicians. No sooner did the crank be-
gin to turn than a voice from the phono-
graph shouted:
g . - have robbed the people, plundered
the treasury, and sought by every possible
means to overthrow our system of govern
ment!" a...s. ...-
The politicians looked at one another in a
sad, sad way, and the crank ground out:
s's- - deceived the people in every
promise for the last fifty years, and betray-
ed every trust reposed in it! Honest gov.
ernment! Can convicted thieves be trusted
with the keys of the treasury?"
Tears started to the eyes Of every man in
the room, and several heads were bowed as
the machine spluttered away: "-precipita-
ted bloody war-blood and treasure-par.
ty of assassins-hung for treason-solid
Southland of traitors-sayed this glorious
republicw
Silently the politicians reached out and
grasped one another's hands while the tears
flowed some more, and the ends of their
noses grew red.
"The bloated bondholders," continued
the phonograph. - ''life blood of the
people-sapping the foundations of liberty Y
the nigger the equal of the white man-bas-
C!tee III Mic oel ~ frnsn'o,,
lisy-peiJuly ant tpon o 90 NJ
Oh Alnerlca-llDerty VI ,,; ueatn-cV,;iins' '''N
palgn.of oeco!lle SLAVES loleVet: A.
Inc neaos OF SIN polltlclaiis leil upph 'ilt ~.
snoulaers ol slA otlers, anu tile iui1uio VI
the grip cars on 5he streets oeiow was utowa. 'n
sad
w condemned from thelr own W,
mouths!' hoWled the ph0nograpn, as the
crank was turned again. Leu US analyAe
slngieadmlnlstration, tnousalu M sluectIes-o res,
arci-traitors-fre in the rear-reslstance to
the laws of the country-ever buried IN dis
grace with lntamy""
Liar"
Thief !"
...Assassin!
.Robber!"
Cesar"
Indian ring ="
Whlsky rlng"
"Carpet-bagger !"
"Copperhead"
.Rebel'
"Bulldozer" .
Then there was silence. by ana oy,
while the tears trickled down ms nose, and
his throat was choked with emotion, gray
headed politician arose, and SAID:
'Gentlemen, our object in meeting mere mere
this evening was to originate some new nes'
and invent new issues Tor the next campaign
We can't do it! There IS nothing TO De IN
vented! There is no new 1orm OF aouse.
There will be no need OF orators or oratory;;
These machines-cuss the inventor--Wlll
tell it all! Weare out of job and hard
winter coming on )"
stairs smashed the motto of ''Our Glorious
Country" and carried resolution to ad-
journ Indefinitely.
49, --.---,.-
A CASE OF AssAULT..There was Va si a case :asS
of assault and battery before one OF tne JUS
tees the other day ana W wltness mess wi.lt aster
across his nose and one ear badly tapped
over, was asked by the defendants lawyer
ifhe saw Brown strike White. "Can't say
as did" he replied. DID you see the
whole AFFAIR."" MOSTLY" swell, how was
it?" "Well, Smith and me sot on the reap
er talkin' evolution. Jones and Green sot
on the grass talkin' religion; Brown and
White sot by the edge of the straw stack
disputin' on politics three or TOUR boys was
60 on" "Fust | knoWed, someoody calied
somebody else liar next knowed, evolu-
Ilol, leliSloh, Poii'lIT CIV S9
was rolling over eacn ot1et o.! ere irS;s' S;s
and every man kicking anu pi;ing gip anu ny ny
ting away 1or an ne was vas Wusn' si, .co4 nut @ u,u
you see Br0"n Strike Whlee yuhita ah t,;1t = ?aS
as dl9. Did you see hl9H NJ. stilhe
Brown Can,t oe sure OF IT, Inc on,y
tning I'm sure OF Mr: LaWyel' ;' IS 1naE 10y 10y
old woman came 0uI VII WIN pan u hI noS
water ana Nckea tne nun crowu anu iao
over TWO quarts leie lor tl'e neA' tiliie'
nrw.u, E~rv ..wbo,S tho nav
IL HAa IL thn ,,,,!, Sr os,od Nrrs RIuT
oeaiuer w .'sah "vsa t,'o way "'Ae' -'' 1''''''
VI nes d,t ,.1sGa,iu Isn, ;, ho ro,,iod
hes nice looking man. shecohtlhueo.
yes, very NICE looking.
is ne married