Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-09-16
HUMOROUS.

THE new 1O-cent special delivery
postage stamp bears the figure or q
messenger boy on the run. This IS
what might be considered ga study IN
still life. "-COHnbus (OhiO) State
Journal.
1T is said that Sitting Bull is fond OF
canned goods. Some one should send
him a can of nitro-glycerine and q
hammer and cold chisel, and tell HIM
to pitch in and enjoy himself.-St.
Paul Herald.
A WESTERN club paid q big bonus
for aplayer. Before he played game
| it was learned he had once been New
York detective and he was promptly
released. He had been engaged as q
catcher. - Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
"WELL, my little man." said the
bishop to Bobby, edo you remember
me?" cob, yes, sir" replied Bobby.
"You stopped with us when you we're
here before. Pa thinks it can't cost
you much for hotel bills" -Bufaio
| Commercial.
81 NEVER saw amore beautifulla dy's
WATCH" said a gallant Montgomery
Street jeweler to a lovely woman who
asked his opinion of her little diamond
studded timekeeper. No doubt he was
right, whether he meant what he said
or not.-San Franciscan.
| A MAN called on the chief of police OF
Allegheny few days ago and said he
had been robbed Of $50, 100000. The
man is supposed to have been a curve
pitcher for a professional base ball
club and had just been paid half his
seasons salary.-Norristown Herald.
"WHY are they called pyramids, PAP
asked George, who had been looking
at a picture of those wonders of Egypt.
"They are called pyramids, my son, "
replied his father, without hesitating,
because, you see, they appear amid
the general desolation of the desert. "
Boston Transcript.
In Canterbury, England the other
day, curious brass box was dug up.
It's name and purpose was a mystery
until, being opened, there was found
inside three buttons, pieces OF tin and
a scrap of paper. Then they knew
that it was an ancient contribution
box.-Philadelphia Call.
DRoN1EDARIEs were expected to make
rare sport in races with horses In
Vienna, but they proved so slow that
the meanest cart-drawers brought in
from the street beat them easily. 1t
was a great disappointment to the
projectors OF the entertainment, who
expected the dromedaries to hump
themselves
oil allow no man to call me liar
and 60 UNPUBLISHED" said q Texas
Judge to lawyer who had just com
mitted that offense. "You are fined
$40, sir" cts the truth, though" re-
piled the lawyer, as repaid the money
81 don't care if it is the TRUTH" re-
! torted the Judge; ga court Of law is no
place to tell the truth. "-Drakes Mag
azine.
SHE was the wife OF railroad mill
ionaire, who was accused of making
his millions by twice eniarg1ng theissue
Of the stock ofthe road. The wife OF a
stock broker was calling on her, and
admired her diamond earrings. eyes
they are fine Stones" said the owner
'They are brilliants of the first water
"You ought to have some Of the second
water, too" was the retort. 81 don't
thing your husband has treated yon
right. wall Street News.
A LITTLE boy was trudging along the
street with q slate under his arm, when
an old lady stopped him and said
kindly: "That is right, my little boy
| l love to see little boys who are anx.
ious to learn and are found of going to
school. Here's a nickel for you
"Thank ye, num-" said the little boy
"Been buying a new slate, [ see. .
eyes, mum; it's for me ladder
"For your father?" eyes, mum; he
keeps a saloon on Second Avenyer.-
n Y. Sun.