Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-06-11
SPOOPENDYKE'S PIE.
He Shows Mrs. S. How His Mother
Used to Make En-.

iiO phVNS nIs' ., llOW Ills MOIllpl
Used to Make En-.
"My dear" said Mr.. Spoopcndykc,
folding his napkin and pushing his
chair back from the table, "my dear,
you are 4 pretty good housekcepcr,
and once in a while you cOntrive to
cook up fair meal, but you have no
business fooling around Il mlnce pie.
There never was but one woman who
could make a mince pie, and that was
my mother"
81 thought this was nice returned
Mrs. Spoopendyc, with Just Il little
quivcr resting on her lip. 81 got it
out of the cook book"
"And you'd better put it right back
in the book as warning to other am
ateurs, continued Mr.. Spoopcndykc.
Il don't say that tins is especially bad,
only it doesn't meet with all the re
qulrements of pie as they were in
stilled into my young mind. You
might work it on founding hospitals
that never had any mother, but it
hasn't the soul | used to get out of pic
when | lived at home"
"llow did your mother make the
mlnco pie, dcar?" asked Mrs. Spoop-
cndykc. "lf knew what she used,
perhaps | could get up one of which
you would eat six slices instead of
four" And with this purely feminine
dig, Mrs. Spoopcndykc looked mod
cstly downward and began folding
knife pleatings in the table cloth.
"Come!" exclaimed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, jumping impctuously from his
chair. "lf you've got the ingrcdi.
cnts, I'll show you how to make II pic
that will draw howls of envy from the
ncighhors,' and Mr.. Spoopkcndykc
led the way to the Kitchen where 5
your chopping tray and the apples?
Fetch me the hand guillotinc and the
beef! Look alive now, my dear, and
we'll startlc the world with some rev.
Citations on the abStrusc subject of
mincc pien'
LET me put this big towel around
your neck, so you won't grease your
clothes, suggested Mrs Spoopendyke,
dragging out hugo crash towel.
whats that for?' demanded her
husband, contemplating it with no
amount of favor. (Which end of the
pie is that thing supposed to have in
ilucncc withP If | make up my mind
when | get through that this pie wants
10 be shaved, III put on this skirt, but
in the meantime want room for all
my limbs. Now" he continued, as he
dumped the beef and apples into the
tray and went at them vigorously with
the chOpping knife; "now you watch
the proceedings and note how this pic
Ccgins to assume proportions.
didn't your mother peel the apples
before she chopped lhcm?" asked Mrs.
SpoOpendykc, quietly.
"Ehm calculated Mr.. Spoopcndy ko,
slowing up II little and looking into
the tray distrustfully. "Of course
not" and he resumed his labors with
more energy. "lf you dld, there's
where you made your mistake. sup.
pose you peeled the beef, too, didn't
yc? Though don't know" and he
stopped short and regarded his work
attGntivcly. at strikes me this meat
would chop finer if some one had drop.
ped pile driver on il once or twice.
Anyway, you don't want your meat
too fine, and | guess this will do, " and
Mr. Spoopcndyke set the tray full OF
Jumps on the table and rolled up his
sleeves.
"What will YOU have now, dearP'
inquired his wife, tcndcrly.
"Somc flour and water" replied
Mr.. Spoopendyke, cheerily. "It's the
crust of u pie that is its genius,
and I'm going TO turn out n slal
Of pastry that will bo a monu
mcEt to the artist who is wcav.
ing this Job. Gimme the flour and
water, while | feel as one upon
whom the spirit of n successful pic
rests visiblyr
Mrs, Spoopcndyko brought out til,
material and once more rcsum
cd the relation as pupil to the OK
crciscs.
"Anything else, dearp" she ask,
cd, us Mr.. Spoopendyko wet down
his flour and jammcd bis fists in the
paste.
Nothing but profound silence" re-
tortcd her husband. "The chief trou
bic with the crust to your pie is that
you allow your attention to be dis
tracted from it Mt the critical moment
], on the contrary, will stop boxing
this ovcrcvat for that minco meat just
at the second 1t reaches ilakiness," and
he slammed in more flour and plunged
again ints his ambitious effort in the
way of crust "Therc!' said he wher
he had fought it to tho consistency o.
sand and mucilage and rolled 1t ou
into two thick chunks. There is The
triumph of pic over puttering! Leat
out the pan whom the gods woult
honor, and let's see how this combina
tion of hereditary intelligence and &c
quired brains will go when it!
cookedm
Mrs. Spoopendyko handed him pie
pan into which he dropped his bottom
crust, and then poured in the minct
meat.
"Got to lift your teeth pretty higl
to get around some of the meat" h,
observed, as he tried to poke thu
Jumps INTO position with q stick
"lm not sure whether mother used tC
crate the meat or crack il with ham
mer, but II don't make so much diff
ference. us the crust that talks