The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-08-22

cial problem, a tottering wreck, a political
tool and a sheriff. sale.
If were to suggest a curriculum for the
young man who wished to take a regular
course in school OF journalism, preferrng
that to the actual experience, | would say
to him, devote the first two years to medi-
tation and prayer. This will prepare the
young editor for the surprise and conse-
quent temptation to profanity, which in a
lew years he may experience when he finds
that the name of the Deity in his double
loaded editorial is spelled with little ''g, +"
and the perOration of the article is locked
up between a death notice and the adver-
tsement OF a patent mustache coaxer,
which is to follow pure reading matter
column on Sunday If. The ensuing five
years should be devoted to the peculiar
orthography of the English language
Then put in three years with the dumb
bells, sand-bags, slung shots and toma-
hawk. In my own journalistic experience
/ have found more cause for regret over my
neglect of this branch than anything else
usually keep on my desk, during a heated
campaign, a large paper-weight weighing
three or four pounds, and in several in
stances | have found that | could feed that
to d constant reader of my valuable paper
instead of retraction. Fewer people lick
the editor though now than did so in years
gone by. Many people-in the last two
years-haye gone across the street to lick
the editor and never returned They in
tended to come right back in a few mo-
nlents, but they are now in a land where a
change OF heart and a palIu-leaf fan is all
they need. Fewer people are robbing the
editor nowadays, too, | notice with much
pleasure. Only short time ago l noticed
that a burglar succeeded in breaking into
the residence of a Dakota journalist, and
after long, hard struggle. the editor sue
ceeded in robbing him.
After the primary course, mapped out all
ready, an intermediate course of ten years
should be given to learning the typograp-
iCal art, so that when visitors come in and
ask the editor all about the office he can
tell them OF the mysteries of making pa
pei, and how delinquent subscribers have
frequently been killed by well-directed
blow with printers towel Five years
shoE'd be devoted to a study of the art OF
prOofreading. In that length OF time the
young journalist can perfect himself to such
degree that it will take another five years
fOr the printer to understand his correc-
tions and marginal notes. Fifteen years
should then be devoted to the study Of
American politics, especially civil service re-
form, looking at it from a non-partisan
standpoint. Ii possible, the last five years
should be spent abroad. London Is the
place TO 90 if you wish to get a clean, con
else view OF American politics and Chicago
and Milwaukee would be a good place for
the young journalist to 90 and study the
political outlook in England. The student
should then take d medical and surgical
course, 50 that he may be able TO attend to
coutusiuns, fractures and so forth which
may occur TO himself or the party who
comes to his Office for "A retractiCn and by
a mistake gets his spinal column double
loaded.
Ten years should then be given to the
study OF law. No thorough, metropolitan
editor wants TO enter upon the dut @. OF his
profession without knowing the difference
between a writ OF nlandamUS and other
styles OF profanity. He should thoroughly
understand the entire system OF American
Jurisprudence, so that in case Il cprtiOrari
should break out IN his neighbOrhood he
would know just what to do for it. The
student will, by this time begin TO see what
Is required OF him and enter with great yea
upon the further study of his protest.
He will now enter upon a theological course
Of ten years and fit himself thoroughly to
speak Inteilgently OF the various creeds and
religions OF the world. Ignorance on the
part OF an editor Is almost a crime and
when he closes powerful editorial with the
familiar quotation. 1T j. the early bird
that gets the worm and attributes it to
st. Paul instead of to Deuteronomy, it
makes me blush for the profession.
The last ten years may be proftabIy de
voted to the acquisition OF a practical
knowledge Of cutting corIwood, baking
beans, making shirts, lecturing. turning
double hHad-spriugs being shot out of a
Catapuir At q circus, learuiu. how to ma ke
"a good adhesive paste hat will not sour In
hot weather. grinding scissors. punctuation,
capitalization, condemnation, svntax.
plain sewing. music and dancing, sculping
etiquette lrOs0dv, how TO win the afiec.
tIOus OF the opposite sex and evade a NAL
IEra nt cas- OF breach Of premise, the ten
commandments, every man his own tutor
Op The flute, cruquet, rules of the prize ring
rhetoric, pdrlOr magic, caIstheniCs, pen.
maushIp, low to turn a Jack from the bot
tom Of the pack without getting shot. civil
engineering. decorative art calsOmining,
bicycling baseball, hydraulics botany,
poker, international law, high-low-Jack
drawing and painting faro vocal music
driving breaking team, fifteen ball pool
how TO remove grease spots from last years
pantalOOns, hOrsemanship, coupling freight
cars, riding on a rail, riding on a pass. feed
ing threshing machine, how to wean a ca Il
from the parent stem, teaching school. bull
whacking, plasteTing, waltzing vaccination,
autopsy, how to win the affections of your
wife's mother, every man his own washer
woman, or how to wash underclOthes sc
that they will not shrink etc, etc, etc.
But time forbids anything ike Thorough
list OF what "A young man should study il
order to fully understand all that he ma
be called upon to express an opinion abou5
in his actual experience as a journalist
There are a thousand little matters which
every editor should know, such, for IL
stance, the construction of roller compC-
sItIOn. Many newspaper men can write
good editorial on Asiatic cholera, but thei-
roller composition is not TT to eat. With
the course of study that | have mapped
out the young student would emerge from
the college OF journalism at the age OF 95 or
90, ready to take off his coat and write an
article on almost any subject. He wolld
be little giddy at first, and the Office boy
would have 90 see that he went TO bed at a
proper hour each night, but aside from tlat
he would be a good man 20 feed a waste pa
per basket. Actual experience is the best
teacher in his peculiarly trying profession.
hope some day to attend press conven-
tlou where the order OF exercises will sOn-
sist OF five minute experiences from each
one present. 1t would be worth listening
TO.
Ny own experience vas a little peculiar.
1t was my intention first to practice law.
when | went to the Rocky Mountain. al
though had been warned by the suthOri-
ties not to do so Still, / did practice m
surreptitisus kind Of way and might have
been praCtiCing yet if my client hadn't died.
When you have become ttachsd to a client
and respect and ike him, nd then when,
without warning. ike bolt Of electricity
from a clear sky, he suddenly dies and to kes
the breEd right out Of your mouth, II u
rough. Then / tried the practice of crimi-
nal law, but my client got into the peniten-
tiary where he was no use TO me financially
or politically. Finally when the Judge was
in a hurry, he would appoint me to defend
the paUper criminals. They sll went TO the
penitentiary, until people got to critieising
the Judge and finally they told him that it
was shame to appoint me to defend an
innocent man.
Ny first experience in journalism was in
a Western town, in which / was a total
stranger. | went there with 30 cents, but
had il concealed in the lining Of my
clothes so that no one would have sus-
pected It II they met me. | had no friends
and / noticed that whsn got Of the train,
the band vas not there 90 meet me. ! en-
tered the town just as any other American
citizen would. | had not fully decided
HaAH - N