Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-02-27
BRIGHT BITS.

AwRIrRR SAYS: Life is shorter than DEATH
ANY one can see that; four letters In one ana
five in the other .-Bro0bty1 Times
"WILL the coming man work." is the cur,
rent cOnundTum. If he gets himself attached
to a large family and daily newspaper he
will.-LyaH Item.
THE patriotic Irish are taking Of sending
holm to the Prophet in the SOudan--In fact, Of
negotiating an alliance between Mahql ana
Pahdi. as it were.-PhiLGdelDhfd Record.
A FLORIDA woman is making money by
running saw mill. but she IS dying oy lnc19s,
all the same. of que and modification. she
can't make her voice heard above the DuZ-
zing of the saw.-JUdGe.
A RESTAURANT KEEPER has Just opened new
premises. Great variety OF dishes 10 select
from, wines and dessert, for four 1r4ncs' lie
has taken the precautiOn to add at the loot oi
his circular, "a medical man is IN constant
attendance. ''-MietteS de Paris.
THERE cannot be a doubt that coming
science will equalize climate. The cllmateo-
meter is coming. Fuel will be unnecessary.
When a bachelor returns to his room IN the
evening he will simply telephone Turn on
the tropics with dash of British Columbia"
-OdkIdnd Tattler.
"PA." observed John Crap, Jr., 81 don't
exactly get onto this Egyptian business Wha 90 90
Nahdi fighting for?p For his country"
.sWeII, what is John Bull fighting for?" For
his country" "For whose country, pa, Ell
Mahdis?" "Yes; shut up and let me read"
HE was not ''earried to the skies
On fiOwory beds of case,
While others sought to win the prize
And sailed through bloody seas";
But he essayed one night to coast
Hard by the AndrOscoggin,
And went to join the heav' My host
Anonymous.
MARY had pair of skates
All nickel plated DER,
And every time she put 'em on
She fell upon the floor.
She took 'em to the rink one day
And loaned them to boy,
And when he sat upon his spine
She Jumped and laughed with joy.
-NOTrist0a0n Herald.
HE was a dude. He was fairly captured.
She had reused him to that point of alteration
that he absolutely knelt on the carpet, oDllVl-
GUS of his dress. The parting was all out OF
his hair from impetuous rubbing or 1t lie
was funny: very, very funny to her, as In eN-
cited but mincing, tones he swOre he loved
her, 'sThOse violet eyes-they are so bewitch-
ing-and there see tear-is 1t tear Dear
est, let me wipe the dewdrop from the violet"
"Dude- drop" she m9rmured-and he crop
ped.-SdR Francisco Chronicle.
Mrs. MrNKs-"The nurse seems to have
trouble with baby to night. He is crying
yet" an -.
wonder what ais him."
Mrs. Minks~ "Oh! Nothing serious. How
sweetly shrlll his voice is! So clear and mn-
sical."
sounds do not come from our nursery. TheY
come through the walls from the next house.
Mrs. Minks-"Mercy! So they do. Why
can't people have sense enough to give their
squalling brats paregoric or something, IN
stead of letting them yell like screen Owls"
PHILADELPHIA call.
MEDICAL advice by telephone: Husband
my wife has a severe pain in the back OF her
neck, and complains OF a sort of sourness In
the stomach"
Physician-"She has malarlal collie"
Husband-''What shall do for herr"
The girl at the central switches on TO a
machinist talking to a sawmill man.
Machnist to Husband-"I think she IL Gov
cred with scales inside about an inch thick.
Let her cool down during the night, and be-
fore she fires up in the morning take ham,
mer ana pound her thoroughly all over, and
then take hose and hitch 1t to the hreplug
and wash her out"
Husband has no further need of this doctor.
-LeOadrd's Medical Journal.