Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1885-02-05
THE MAJORS LUNCHEON.

I'LL MAJVfs " LtItiibVI'
It was a bright, sunny day in July,
and although people seemed to find 1t
hot, vet 20 me the atmosphere had only
Just the chill off, for / vas lately home
from a heightened s%oiourn in Bombay.
/ had been to the India Office to see one
of the officials on q little matter of de-
tail connected with my furlough, and L
had two or three hours to spare before
nv train-I live at Sevenoaks, and had
a return ticket by the London, Chatham
and Dover-was due to start, and L
didn't exactly know how to employ the
time. / strolled across the parade, as
cended the steps by the Duke of York's
column, and stared at the statue they had
Just put up of 0utram horse standing
on three legs, and Outram looking back
leaning on the flank Of his horse. Well,
1 hadn't much fault to find with the
statue, except perhaps as to the horse
being a little heavy, and that I'd have
made him splashing out with his neal
fore leg, seeing that his riders leaning
over the flank; but, notwithstanding,
it's a spirited thing, and that's a good
deal to say in these days. When l had
q good look at 0utram ] turned into
Pail Mall and took a long stare al the
print shops, and then l sauntered along
the opera colounade, a fragrant Whit Of
some cooking going on at the restaurant
there making me all of a sudden feel as
i'll was hungry.
Perhaps you will say I was in the
right quarter to be satisfied, but l didn't
feel so. / am, like John Gilpin, offs
frugal mind. / haven't toiled all these
years in a foreign land under a blazing
sun to dissipate my modest hoard on
cooks and restaurants; moreover, my
appetite is a masculine one, and is not
to be appeased by outlets rs big as half
crowns, Should / take the "bus" to
Paddington and lunch with my Sister
Emily? Paddington is a long way En-
lily as likely as not wauld be out, and if
at home she would probably be lunch
ing off cream cheese and Osborne bus
cults and a glass Of Gladstonian claret.
Should / retreat to my station, and re-
fresh myself calmly at the dining room
there and await my train? There was
something ignominious in the idea.
Here was I in one OF the most wonder
full cities in the world, and all | could
find it in my heart to do was to get out
of it as quickly as possible.
Irresolute / stood at the corner of the
Haymarket, not having made mp my
mind which way TO go. l hadn't stood
there before an old Irish-woman asked
me the way to Bethnal- green. l was
rather Hurried at this, as, although j
have a good general idea Of the direc-
ton of Bethnal- green, / found it diff
cult to methodize in with sufi-
cient rapidity for tbs old Irish
woman, who gave me o glance OF
contempt and passed on. Before ] had
recovered from this, two very nice-look-
ing girls, moved, / supposed, by my
fatherly appearance, bescught me, with
charming smiles, to direct them to the
academy. Now, in my young days the
academy used to be at the national gall
lery. and although / ought to have
known very well that it was now at
Burlington house, vet / somehow never
realized the fact, and so / sent off these
two very nice young creatures entirely
in the wrong direction. My heart
smote me the next moment, and / was
about TO rush across the street TO stop
them and put them in the right way
when / was seized by ford young
Irishman, with all the superfiuous en-
ergy and fuency OF his country who in
sisted upon my directing him to the
chief commissioner of the civil service,
aud was very angry with me when l as
sured him there was no such function
airy. He insisted on producing ar Of
fetal envelope addressed to Michael o.
Donovan, Esq, at some bowling will
derness in Tipperary, which certainly
bore in the corner the words Civil Ser
vice COMMISSIONS"
"And would there be a commission
widout a commissioner ?" cried Michael
triumphantly, but scornfully and then
/ saw what he wanted, Of course, and
sent him to Deans yard, but / don't
know after all, whether he wouldn't
have committed an assault upon me
with the idea he'd got that / was 'desa-
wing him. / hope to goodness the civ
il service commission hasn't moved too,
or / shall fear to find my tall Irish
friend waiting for me a the corner of
the Haymarket with q big stick next
time | pass.
But next minute / vas paid for all,
when such q sweet voice fell upon my
ear, and a lady with q little boy in her
hand asked me the way TO Regent street.
She had one Of those softly moulded
sympathetic faces that give q a heart
ache when one finds that the owners OF
them are married, not with any idea OF
selfish appropriation, but with the
thought that such sweet candid Great.
ures should be set apart for the love
and alteration of all mankind, and not
monopolized by some one unworthy
wretch. She asked me the way to Reg
ent street and happy was l that / knew
it. After that | deserted my post and
darted across to the other side.
! hadn't go. more than half a dozen
yards when / felt a hand laid upon nv
ARM, and saw at my side q very good
looking, well dressed man.
"My dear fellow" he said, "how are
you?"
] didn't know but what I knew the
man, for m meets so many people of
his kidney; and for aught / could tell,
! might have been Hospitality entertained
by him somewhere or other up the coun-
try, so that ! didn't like to confess NV
ignorance of his name and quality. And
we walked cordially together toward st.
Martins church.
when was the last we met" said nv
new friend. "Surely at the governor
generals ball at Calcutta"
Never was at Calcutta in my life. y
l said; mines the Bombay presi-
dency.n
And I've been taking you all this
time for Colonel Scoop. Is il possible
that I'm deceived.
always feel with the least degree Of
soreness, when in England, that NV