St. Landry democrat., 1885-06-20
AsINGULAR FUNERAL,
AS Described By One Of the
"Waiters" at the Festival.


"Waiters" at the Festival
81 wish some one would come here
and discover us, and then set OF peo-
pie arrive and settle, so that thus we
might gradually become civilized and
at last enlightened. Have you any
idea thatit is known in what inky dark
ness we sitp And yet I don't suppose
there is a person in town who can not
read and write. don't mean that he
can spell or put grammatical sem
tence together. That power is not
necessary, even to be graduated from
the Center High School. And what do
you imagine will be required OF US at
that funeral this afternoon? We shall
not please them. l know, and yet am
gong TO try with all my might to do
what they expect. Thus wrote my
sister Gertrude on certain day last
summer.
The town of Ransome. which you
will not find on any map, is removed
from the seashore. 1t is in Massachu-
sets. 1t is lovely of aspect, with hills
and brooks and rocky pastures, and
distant purple mountains. But it&s OF
its people more than of its scenery that
I am going to speak. .
1t Is almost a miracle how such
places can still exist in Massachusetts,
| hamlets not half dozen miles away
from towns where live ladies and gen
| tlemen who can use singular verb
with q singular subject, and who know
what plural means. A great deal
hangs on knowledge seemingly so sim
pie. Here in this part of Ransome We
are scorned if we say chow are your
instead of 'sHoW be YEP Such is the
natural proneness to depravity that |
have basely truckled to popular opinion
and flung about the wrong verbs reck-
lessly. / don't think l am liked any
the better for it, and | imagine l am
still called ..stuck up. -
They will not read here, and you are
a ''lazy, shifess thing if you read.
II amt no time for readin',' y man
will say scornfully; and you shall
see him sitting for hours in numt
sort of way, perhaps smoking, perhaps
not even doing SO much rs that. He
will tell you he is resting, and ne would
sincerely believe himself an object fol
blame if he should be scanning news
paper or book.
You say this state of affairs can no
be in Massachusetts,. But it is, anc
though we have lived in the midst of i
for six years, it even now seems incred
/ ible to us. What impossible, though
invisible, barrier is there which pre-
vents glimmers of sense and refinemen
and literary tastes from coming here
when few miles away you shall fint
culture and geniality? True, there is NJ
railway to the village, but a railway i
not solely civillzer. | defy any on
to teach these people anything. The,
may listen, or appear to listen, to som
one announcing a self-eTident fact, no
known to them, and you will see all tn
time on their faces q look of dull scorl
of YOU who should believe such a thing
He who would convince the worth,
Mr.. Dunderhead of any truth whic
, Dunderhead does not see, must be
master of his art. "
But | was going to tell you about tina
funeral. A man living near us ha
died after long and painful illness
nv sister and called to ask the famil
if we could assist them in any way. w
met several women with lugubriou
faces who had been in to see the corpse
: We were invited in for that purpose
! and as a great treat, but declined.
..Can we be of any use?" we asked
"Wall,'' with the conventional Var
. kee nasal, which, if you ever though
of it, is that one does not talk throug
the nose, but without the assistance {
that organ: "Wall, you couldn't nj
J how be walters to the funeral, no
could vel" inquired the widow.
We protested our willingness coul
!, we know what was the duty of waiter
..Wall. you see, when we've all gor
to the grave, the walters they git up
D supper: coffee, tea, and SO on. There
be . sight O. folks most likely con
back from the grave, and they'll
j, m ghty hungry. You'll have to ter
! I ght up to EN-, We know. There'H
several tables full, and dishes to was
s ! ow, costtd ye. now? III be SO mu'
obleeged to we. But" she added
.