The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1885-05-14
MY WATCH.

When | was unmarried and could do
as pleased | never carried q watch.
never could understand the value of q
watch except as an article that might
be hypothecated in pecuniary emer-
gency. l could always ascertain the
time, because every church and sample
room boasted a clock, and what was
the use of purchasing what could be
had for nothing?
By my system of consulting these
public timepieces, always managed to
make my connections right. 1 never
entered theater after the curtain had
risen, or reached the station at the mo-
ment when the train was vanishing.
was made happy in more ways than
have to tell fifty people the hour every
day, and l never worried about the
safety of the contents of my vest-pock-
cts in 4 crowded horse-car.
One night ] was awakened rather
suddenly. felt strange hand under
my pillow. 1t was burglars, feeling
for my watch.
Il have no watch" remarked, as
politely as could; ''but you'll find a
dollar brass clock in the kitchen, if you
want to know the time"
In his great hurry he passed through
the window, and l shuddered as ]
heard him trickling down through the
arbor below.
But after marriage it was different.
l was told that should wear a watch,
in order not to appear poverty-stricken
in the eyes of the world. 1 argued
that it would place me on par with
weasel-headed clerks whose bangs and
eyebrows meet. | was told that if
wore no watch every one would think
l had one drawing interest for an
avuncular relative.
This seemed to be a very subtle al.
gument in favor of having q watch.
And, besides, it completely upset me
l imagined on the same basis people
would fancy had all sorts OF things IN
pawn that | didn't wear, such as q
seal-skin overcoat, diamond rings, etc.
As tentative measure, l got what
call to this day a patent medicine
watch" because l bought it in a drug
store. 1t was an advertising scheme
to attract people to the patent medi-
cine / should much prefer to swallow
the contents OF drug store than carry
one of those watches week. 1t had
to be wound up every night, and took
nearly all night to wind it. 1t didn't t
keep very good time, but | continued
to wear it, that l might wind it for ex.
ercise. 1t superseded my dumb-bells
until the stem wore the skin off my
thumb and forehnger. When buried
in profound meditation, it was my Gus
tom to take the watch out and wind it
in an abstracted manner, just as Others
in similar mood pick their teeth oil
whittle. stated at home that l mere.
| " purchased the patent medicine
watch to learn how to take care OF and
manipulate one before getting more
expensive specimen.
This bit OF news gave great salts.
faction. l was looked upon as good
natured, self-sacrificing being who
would soon wear long watch-chain
stretching all the way across the chest
and emptying into two pockets. As 8
reward | was presented with a watch.
The first day wore it l was told
was wrong by man who had just sci
his watch at some jewelers., So
| changed mine to make it agree with
his. 1t seems it lost time, and | missed
my train that night, thing had never
done when ! did not possess a time
piece.
Every few minutes I was asked tht
hour, to get me accustomed to pulling
it out, and inside of week had az
quired an artistic negligence and in
difference of manner that was pro
nounced beautiful.
! But the watch became eccentric
The eggs that were timed two minute:
| by it came out as hard as cobble
stones, and. trying to regulate it by
tapping it against my boot-heel, thor
oughly disorganized it, and was obliged
to leave it for week with a ieweler,
who lent me, in its stead, great
silver machine that l was ashamed tC
take out of my pocket in daylight.
In short, when got it back l die
nothing but miss trains. 1t was neve
right 1t was either too fast or too
slow. Sometimes / would start for thu
cars thinking l had ample time, anC
reach the station after their departure
or else would start on run and hal
kill myself to get there in time, only t
ascertain that ! had arrived half al
hour too soon.
1t would take too much ink to tel
how many sorrows and tribulation
that watch brought upon me. lpro
tested against wearing it many time
but my protests were in vain. Final
ly, | concluded that ! would allow my
self to be martyred, so still carry it
but not for use. ] wind it up abou
once a month, and never look at it.
90 by the clocks | see around me, as
did before, and catch my trains am
make all other time connections right
don't like to say anything harsh of II
because il is nice watch, and it woul
be simply perfect it it could olly kee