The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-03-14
HUMoRs or rAs WAR.

mand OF the middle department, was sud
denly ordered to intercept Stonewall
Jackson after that pious old confederate
had chased General Banks and his little
command from the Shenandoah valley,
General John Qusrles, as true a soldier
and as capable officer as the government
possessed, placed his surplus baggage
sick and wounded, at Petersburg under
the command of Captain Lee, with one
full company, to take care of the prop
es:y and people left behind.
write it Captain Lee, for to tell the
truth have forgotten the name of the
gallant young fellow, the hero of my
sketch.
The captain was not well pleased with
the duty assigned him. He grumbled
not little at the ignoble service OF sit
ling guard over old tents, blankets, sick
and wounded, while the army marched
away to glory. And glory it would have
been had Fremont been really in com
mand of an army. Aside from Generals
Cluserit's, Schenck's and Milroy's brig
AIDES, he had worse than nothing, for the
force was made sp of what was known as
Blenkers division, German in name, but
tionalities represented i'll New York,
where the scoundrelism of the earth
makes yearly its foul deposit. Blenker's
division was an armed mob of thieves.
with as much fight in them as discipline,
and not enough of either to make the
men other than a burden to u.s. that de-
moralized the entire force. For example,
when Fremont first hit Stonewall's heavy
forces near Strasbourg, a forced march
OF an hour would have hemmed them 10
letween Fremont's army and that under
General Mcdowell. Fremont saw the
chance, and issued his orders accord =
ingly. The response was deliberate
halt in the road. and two-,hirds OF our
force unslung their kettles and dcliber-
ately went to cooking breakfast. No re-
mons.rance, no threats nor hard swear
ing could move the solid mass.
General Schenck, grim as the god of
war. sat on his horse. surrounded by his
staff, and saw the coniederates sweep by
and the golden opportunity to gobole
go ae forever.
can see now, as if the event were but
an hour old, the gallant young fellows
forming that staff THE handsome CHEESE
borough, the cool, impassive Este, the
witty Crane and impetuous Fielding
Lowry, all cultured gentlemen, brave and
gentle.
"Well, fello VS." said, we are being
taught that something more is necessary
to make an army than the officer.
While warlike Europe has spent thou
sand years in the creation of private,
our wonderful government spends its vast
energies in the creation of an officer
When that wonderful production is COM
pleted we stand off and say, Behold our
army"
Again, at Cross Keys, subsequent to
the above, when Stonewall was forced
to make stand, these cnwardly thieves
left Cluserit, Schenck and Milroy to do
the fighting, while they wandered over
the country, singly and doubly, rob-
bling farm houses and numbering I'm
armed men.
My little story, however, has nothing to
do with the march of that army, but
seeks to tell what happened to our un-
happy captain. left in command at Peters
burg. With him the time wore on
drearily enough. His camp was infested
with copperheads az nafnrei, for he had
selected a stony eminence, and from
hidden recesses came out the ugly reptiles
at all hours, while around were copper
heads on end, quite as malignant. if not
so poisonous. OF these the females were
far the most noisy and disagreeable.
A woman comes into the world and
grows up so surrounded and protected
that she never learns and appreciates the
beauty and efficiency of head-pummeling
as guard against tongue wagging, and
she is therefore free to let loose her opin
ion on all occasions. Captain Lee had a
turn for female society, being young,
handsome and gallant but he soon tired
of attempted attentions that were re.
ceived in scorn and garnished by such
pleasant epithets as Lincoln hireIing,"
cowardly Yank" and Lincoln pup"
One sunny afternoon the captain was
sitting, or rather reclining. before his tent,
looking vacantly at the beautiful scenery
stretched out before him. Below, and
more Immediately near, were the golden
fields shimmering in the sunlight. Be-
yopd ran the forests, with their deep
green foliage, and far out, framing all in,
we're the blue submits of the mountains,
that seemed to melt into the soft summer
skies. Il was hard to realize that in this
beautiful. peace-loving stretch of nature
mans evil nature had hidden death in its
cruelest forms, and over all spread the
dark pinions Of brutal war, dropping
mourning and desolation on the homes
of all the land.
Our captain had not much poetry in
his soul, and probably at that moment
was thinking of where he could find some
fresh bread and butter, instead of side
meat and hard-tack, that made his di-
gestion suffer at the mere thought.
Whatever his thoughts may have been,
they were interrupted by the guard, who,
pausiDg on his weary round, shaded his
eyes with one hand for a moment, and
then cried:
al say, Cap, what the devil is that
coming down the bill yonder?"
The officer sprang to his feet, ard
bringing his glass to bear had the hap
piness of new emotion.
"What the devil?" he muttered; "i.
Looks like n Aa1 of trure Rv ceox0e n