davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20
Pensacola HarbOr.

From the Florida Tlmes-J OufnaI.I
Pensacola Bay is equal to any har-
Dor in the South for beauty, depth
and security. Santa Rosa Island, a
sand-key of the gull, forty miles long,
is the breakwater of the harbor. On
the end of this island, at the entrance
to the harbor, stands Fort Pickens,
now denuded of guns, and guarded by
a single sergeant. In spite of it's bat
tie record it looks quite modern,
though it is the familiar haunt of the
rattlesnake. Opposite. on the main
land, are the ruins of old Fort McRae,
tottering amid the surges which dash
against its remaining arches. In the
distance the remains of old Fort Ba-
rancas lie sleeping with the memories
of Gen. Jackson and the Spanish COM
mandant who blew it up at the cap
ture of the place by an American ar
my in 1914. The deserted navy yard
is not far away. It's massive build.
ings look clean and neat, and there
are stored old gums and much valuar
BILE shipbuildmg material, s
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20
The Frauds of Society.

Incomprehensible as it may seem to
people of refined sensibilities, there
are a few rich women who are willing
to pay for newspaper items describ:
ing their persons and costly toilets
At a Washington reception a few days
ago a lady who observed one OF the
society correspondents taking notes
back of a portiere, remarked to her:
"It must be sickening to g. person OF
your natural delicacy to describe
these dresses and women for the news,
papers" eyes, it is sickening, "thelady
correspondent replied, "but have my
living to earn, and am compelled to
swallow my pride and the society dose
at the same time. See here" she con-
tinued, drawing a $40 bill from a
dainty bag of pink satin hanging from
her side; "a woman met me in the
dressing-room and gave me this mon
ey on the condition that I should de-
scribe in detail her rich toilet and
make especial mention OF her hand
some personal appearance. 1t was
distasteful to me to see such an exhi-
bition of vu]garity, but ! needed the
money: and tomorrow she will be in
public print for the world to sheer at
or admire, according to the cultiva-
ton of their taste: Another woman,
who could not afford to give me mon
ey, offered to introduce me to house
where I could lind plenty of society
material if l could transform her old,
thin white silk, covered with illusion,
into elegant gros grain and marvellous
lace, write her profusion of Rhine peb-
bies into diamonds, her bleached hair
and false complexion into personal
beauty. I accepted both offers from
necessity" she finished with apathetic
smile.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20
Furnishing an ImDOstOr,

When Grant, in August, 1851, was
sent with a brigade to southern Mis-.
souri, to repel a threatened invasion
of it by jeff Thompson, an incident
occurred which is thus described by
one of his staff officers. "The distance
from the starting point of the expedi-
ton to the supposed rendezvous of
the confederates was about ITO miles,
and the greater portion of the route
lay through the bowling wilderness.
The imaginary suffering that our SOL
diers endured during the first two days
of their march was enormous. It was
impossible to steal or 'confscate' I'M
cultivated real estate, and not q hog
or q chicken or an ear of corn was
anywhere to be seen. On the third
day, however, affairs looked more
hopeful, for few small specks of
ground in state of partial cultiva-
ton were here and there visible. On
that day Lieut.. Wickield, of an Indi-
ana cavalry regiment, commanded
the advance guard, consisting of eight
mounted men. About noon he
came up to a small farmhouse, from
the outward appearance of which he
judged there might be something fit to
eat inside. He halted his command,
dismounted, and. with two lieuten-
ants, entered the dwelling. He knew
that Grants incipient fame had al
ready gone out through all that coun-
try, and it seemed to him by repre-
senting himself to be Gen. Grant he
might obtain the best the house af-
forded. So, assuming very impera~
tive demeanor, he accosted the in
mates of the house and told them that
he must have something for himself
and staff to eat. They desired to
know who he was. and he told them
that he was Brig. Gen. Grant. At the
sound of the name they all flew around
| with alarming alacrity, and served up
about all they had in the house, tax
ing great pains all the while to make
loud professions of loyalty. The lieu
tenants ate as much as they could OF
the not oversumptuous meal, but
which was, nevertheless, good for that
| country, and demanded what was to
| pay. 'Nothiug.' And they went on
their way rejoicing. In the meantime
Gen. Grant, who had halted his army
a few miles farther back for brief
resting-spell, came in sight of and was
rather impressed with The appearance
of this same house. Riding up to
| the fence in front of the door.
he desired to know if they
would cook him g. meal. NO. said a
female, in gruff voice: Gen. Grant
and his staff have just been here and
eaten every thing in the house except
a pumpkin pie. 'Humph, : muttered
Grant; what is your name Z? Sci
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20
Lowering the Atmosphere.


Splitting of the entente cordiale:
Hostetter McGinnis is thinking about
taking a trip to Ell Paso for his health,
but his mother-in-law has been telling
him there is danger of his beingscalped
by Indians, and that he had better
stay right here in Austin. "Non.
sense" replied Hostetter McGinnis,
"there used to be Indians on the Ell
Paso road, but they have all been
driven off. Idon't believe there is an
Indian in the whole country" "Well,
well, ;" replied his wife's mother, "when
you get out on the plains, and one OF
those wild beasts comes at you whoop.
ing and yelling, then you'll think ofme. u
"l don't doubt it; anything OF that
kind is calculated to make me think Of
you," replied Hostetter McGinnis, and
now the entente cordiale has been
spilled, and there is a GOODNESS be.
tween them
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20

vidge, : replied she. Casting 8 lialf-dol-
lar in at the door he asked Il she would
keep that pie until he sent an officer
for it, to which she replied that she
would. That evening, after the camp
ing ground had been selected, the vari-
GUS regiments were notified that there
would be q grand parade at $50 for
orders. Officers would see that all
their men turned out, etc. In five
minutes the camp was in g. perfect up
roar, and filed with ali sorts of
rumors. Some thought the enemy
were upon them. it being so unusual to
have parades when on q march. At
$50 the parade was formed, ten
columns deep and nearly: quarter of
q mile in length. Both officers and
men were amazed at this unusual
parade after a long and weary march,
and wondered what it portended, when
the assistant adjutant general rode
in front of the lines, and in grave,
loud and clear voice read the following
order:
HEADQUARTERS ARMY IN THE FIELD
Special Order No. -: Lieut.. Wickfield of
the Indiana cavalry, having on this day
eaten everything in Mre. selvidge's house,
at the crossing of the Trenton and Poca-
hontas and Black River and Cape Giradeau
roads, except one pumpkin pie, Lieut. Wick
field is hereby ordered to return with an es-
cort of one hundred cavalry and eat that
pie also. ~. S. GRANT,
"Brigadier General Commanding.
at is impossible to describe the ef-
feet the reading of this order had on
the troops. Everyone was expecting to
hear some momentous announcement,
and hence listened with eager atten-
ton, and when it was finished looked
at each other in utter bewilderment,
and asked, what did it mean? The
parade was over, and the moment
they dispersed each one sought an ex-
PLANTATION for the strange affair. 1t
soon leaked out, and by the time the
crestfallen lieutenant was ready with
his escort to leave camp it was in a
perfect roar, and the peals of laughter
followed him as he defled along the
road on his way back to eat that pie.
Grant made no explanation ofhis con-
DUCT, followed it by no reprimand.
The order carried it's own lesson, ad-
ministered it's own rebuke. and each
one knew that it would not be safe
business to pass himself off for thegen-
eralin-chief, much less forage in his
name for his own benefit. When the
lieutenant returned to camp, late in
the evening, he was glad to escape to
his tent to avoid the numberless uues-
tions and jokes about the pumpkin
pie"
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20

"AH, my little man, good morning, y
pleasantly remarked an old gentleman
as he stopped and patted 9 Hewes
Street little boy on the head, tshave
you any brothers and sisters - Yes,
sir, got four, but Pm the only one that
mounts to any thing, " replied the mr.
chin.-BrOOilvn Times. 3.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20
Bill Nye's Carving.

lD!A wye LII uCA.J
My carving is like my dancing. 1t is
inal, bold, and audacious. / try to
introduce joints where Nature did not
intend to have them, and l seek to
make short cuts across fowl in a
way that is productive only of chagrin,
vexation, and fragments OF hen. Man
is a weak, fallible creature, and he
ought not to seek to monkey with the
anatomy of a fowl or to improvise
Joints and apertures where they do not
belong; for at such time as you think
not the knife will slip, and it will trip
over the celery glass and fill the bosom
OF a warm personal friend with gravy.
To attract attention and keep up
the spirits OF the company, therefore,
/ make it kind of business, as it were,
to fill the air with harmless amuse-
ment at the same time that / shed
stufting through the atmosphere and
mutilate the bosom Of the hen. This
gives me an opportunity, occasionally,
to gather up the sage, bread crumbs
and gizzards out of my lap and return
them to the platter without exciting
remark.
A few weeks ago, on an occasion of
this kind, cousin of mine, a young
lawyer connected with the Omaha
road, young man of good parts and
whose business is to stand between the
Omaha road and Justice, at so much a
year and travelling expenses, was pres
emit.
had just said something smart to
keep the company good natured, while
l asked young lady at the other end
OF the table to please return the duck
which I had inadvertently presented
to her with the carving fork stuck in
it. Every one was laughing joyously
and trying to conceal it by putting
their napkins to their mouths, when
my cousin turned to my little daughter,
and said:
"Bessie, haven't you got funny
papa, thought
Eyes, indeed" said the ungrateful,
untilial and irreverent heir apparent
to a great name "You better believe
he's funny when we
have company.
And yet the people wonder why l am
not the same genial host that used
to be, and why the children do not eat
at the first table, and why there is a
sound of kicking against the door Of
an adjoining room, and the occasional
wall of a hungry child as the meal pro-
crosses.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20
Russian OmcialL Life.

From the San Francisco Chronicle
IWonder if the reports of the cor
ruption of Russian official life are all
true. remember a gentleman con-
nected with an enterprise having an
establishment in Russian Pacific
port, telling me of the miserable con-
dition of the place and the people.
'sDoes the government do nothing
for them?" I asked.
ayes; that is, the government gives
an appropriation, but the place never
gets the benefit of it,
"Who does?"
"The officials. There was govern
or there once who received an appro-
priation of some 10000 rubles to be
devoted to to the improvement of the
towns. He had no place to keep it
no safe; so he built a brick kind OF
mausoleum in the garden or back
yard of his official residence, which
was completely closed with brick or
stone. 1t was never opened"
~ don't understand"
"Another governor came out and
took this ones place. He did not
dare to open that mausoleum, so it
remains closed till this day."
"Why?"
Because the money is not there.
1t never was put in, and the officials
have to stand in with one another"
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20

Tm Vo1fAlo BELT Co, OF Mazshall, Mich,
offer to send their celebrated E1Ho1Ro-V o1rAp9
BELT and other ELECTRIC A1111Axors on trial
for thirty days, to men 0oung or old) OBJECTED
with nervous debility, loss Of vitality and man.
hood, and Ill kindred troubles. Also for rheu.
diseases Complete restoration to health, vigor
and manhood guaranteed No risk 10 incurred
as thirty days trial is allowed. Writo them ct
once for illustrated pamphlet frea.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20

NJ y. {. DoDoK.

III -. " DOD0k. ##ss
As the green Apple that kills little boys;
3 is the Barber and Boarding house Joys;
CO the spring Chicken and Clam In the Chowdet
D Is the Dude and the Dynamite powder;
= is the Editor killing poet; 3
1s the Foot, as Chicago girls show it;
G's empty Gun. Goat and 0as-meter utter;
H Is the Hash and the Hair In the butter;
Is the 1ce-man, OF course, and Ice cream;
lis the Jersey mosquito supreme;
K Is the Kick Of the mule when he's mad;
l. Is the Lover that's bounced by the dad;
n Is Nay-M0ving and Mother.in-law;
Ms the Niagara hackman's big nav;
Us the One Oyster In church stews 80 thin:
P's Picnic, Plumber, Pie, Poet and Pin;
Q Is the Question that's popped by us all;
K is the Roller Kink-newest of all;
s is the Stovepipe, and shortcake 50 murky;
q is the Tramp and the Thanksgiving Turkey;
US the Umbrella, that's used up and lent;
Y is the Verses to newspapers sent;
w is Watermelon immense;
x Is the small Easter bonnet's 'Xpense;
7 is the leap Year, that tickles men folks:
Is the Zany who "chestnuts'' these Jokes.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20

"SAY, pa, heard the news?" "No
my son, what is it % "They amt go.
ing to have ]amp-posts any longer y
"Why not?" "Cause they are long
enough now That evening the
young man could not sleep on his
ack.--BOstOn Beacon.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20

When Baby was sick, we gave her Casio
RIA,
When she was Child, she cried for CAS-
TORIA,
When she became Miss, she chung to CAS-
TORIA,
When she had Children, she gave them
CASTORIA.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20

"TuE cllRpFNT" CHICAGO. zneere..
His 0UnnDNI Literary and Family
Journal of our time.
Clean. perfect, grand! Over 600 brilliant contrib.
utors. q yearly; mo-, &20. Buy 1t at your news
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20
HALLS
Vegetable Sicilian
HAIR REVIEWER

was tho first preparation perfectly adapted TO
euro diseases of the scalp, and the first sue
cessful restorer of faded or gray hair to its
natural color, growth, and youthful beauty.
1t has had many imitators, but none have SO
fully met all the requirements needful for
tho proper treatment of the hair and scalp.
HALLS HAIR REVIEWER has steadily grown
III favor, and spread its fame and usefulness
to every quarter Of the globe. Its unparal-
Ieled success can be attributed to but one
cause: tile entire JuIGlrcnt Of its promises.
Tho proprietors have often been surprised
=. tho receipt of orders from remote cou,l-
tries. where they had never made All effort for
its introduction.
The use for a short time Of HALLS HAIR
REVIEWER wonderfully improves the per-
sonal appearance. 1t cleanses the scalp from
MI impurities, cures all humors, fever, and
dryness, and thus prevents badness. 1t
eliminates the weakened glands, and enables
them to push forward q new and vigorous
growth. The effects of this article are not
transient, like those of alcoholic prepare
tons, but remain long time, which makes
its use q matter Of economy.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-05-20

Then a new light shone in her fast
closing eyes; she stretched out her
arms as If to embrace viewless form,
and with the words, "Dirk! Dirk! Free
for ever, dear! Free, Dirk, free!"
trembling on her lips, her soul went
forth rejoicing on the mystic journey
to the dark hearafter.
Soon after she had been laid to rest
by the side of her husband in the GENE
terry, white with many a memorial
stone to ruined hopes, lives wrecked
and shattered, and affections sundered
by the cruel hand of death, g. Kafir,
sentenced to the extreme penalty OF
the law for an atrocious murder, con-
fessed that he, and he alone, was the
cause of the Frenchman's tragic end.
He had watched through the half
drawn blind the miserable man toying
with a golden chain to which a minia-
ture was attached, and his .cupidity
fired by the sight, crept on him I'M
awares and tried to wrest it from him.
A struggle ensued; the Kafir snatched
q revolver from the Frenchman's hand
and shot him; then, fearing discovery,
fed with only the miniature in his
possession. The size of the bullet and
the spoor were condolences only; but
there is one mystery which will never
be cleared up. Was the miniature
that of Syivester's wife? IL !.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-05-22

IL Is unfortunate for the people here that the
District authorities claim several attributes of
Deity, among which are omnipotence and ON
niscience. Any complaints in regard TO evils
existing are CURLY dismissed "a irreverent
questioning of the inftllibility of the present
rule. This is especially the when the
abatement of any great public nuisance
Is called for. The Vanderbiltian, public
be id air with which the Commits
siOners resisted the demand for the abate-
ment of the asphalt boiling nuisance on Louisi-
ana avenue, right in the heart of the city,
is a case In point. They Obstinately insisted
that it was no nuisance,-that il was all imagi-
nation on the part ofthe complainants that there
was anything unhealthy or disagreeable about
the nauseating vapOr from the asphalt works.
But the public got its back up and determined
that the nuisance should be removed, and 1T
was We havea repetition of this contest in the
present issue about the pollution of the Potomac
water at the conduit head. The Commissioners
seem to think that any admission OF the pos>i-
bility of pollution from the filthy canal water
reaching the conduit, is an admission of negli-
gence or mismanagement on their part. They
insist that there is no pollution of the water
and that theiropiniOns, chased actual, intelli-
gent inspection" are entitled To more weight
than the vaporings of the misled STAR. Now
1t happens that THE SrAR'S opinions are based
upon the 'actual intelligent inspection of
of its most careful and reliable reporters, and
We prefer To depend upon his report in prefer
ence To the biased. hasty inspection by the
Commissioners, which seems to have been SO
hurried or careless that they took no note of the
steady leakage of the filthy canal water through
the broken waste weir into the river just above
the entrance to the conduit.
And the pnblic agrees with THE STAR in
demanding that this waste weir shall be
moved altogether from its present position
dboye the conduit entrance. The Commits
sionerS, if they wise, will not make
obstinate fight against this proper and easy
mode of preventing any possibility of water
pollution.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-05-22
SlLNEKEERG'S

,EnAproiaereo PICTURE Frame. Bird Cage Hook Fruit
sASt CeliIioid Dressing Comb, .Qe Rubber Dress
ihg comb French Tooth Brush ivory Napkin Ring,
Two plitd Napkin Rings. Kitchen Knife and Fork.
i1ch strap ittsh Latch Basket. piece: - yards
" re Flcture Ccrd. Wire asels. cup and saucer
Easel BrOlZei Ood aseI Plaque EASEL scrap Book
i9uquet I40ider, thecAeT Board, Box of Checkers.
Fans, Palm Leaf Pans one p:,c a-.e OF good Payjng
aAIdst sbaVlis Brtsh. Cents Pocket Companion,
compete iahng Line, Chiids Knife and Fork box of
fIectrp silicon, Fruit Plate. box best selected 5rd
HcioJi lag Japanese scroll. Base Ball and Bat.
isooer Hal or Rattle. 10y Whip or Cane, excellent
CSOINsGFeM- PiAuted Table MAJ. ne Rubber found
SShie iV-.oic Richter H2rmcHict. Toy Watch and
Shuh TWO >t"retSCopic Views OF Washington, Childs
xAA.S1 Aag ioii. Rolled cold Plate Co!3ar Button,
Nc, &C Any OF above articles for ~ cents
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-05-22
RED TrcKEr Day.
RED TICKET DAY,
FRIDAY,
RBR a y Y Nm nm w ssss
BIB A Y U MMMM oSSs
II h AAA U u NJ NJ . 500
BBB UU NJ N 81 oSSS 80

BBB UU MI ssss.-
RED WHENEVER THIS HEADING AP-
TICKET PEARS IN OUR ADVERTISEMENT.
DAY BEAR IN MIND THAT ON THAT DAY
RED SOME OF THE MOST PHENOMENAL
TICKET BARGAINS EVER OFFERED BY ANY
DAY ONE IN ANY CITY WILL BE OF
RED FERED BY Us.
TICKET WE DO THIS NOT TO CATCH TRADE
DAY THROUGH ANY HUMBUG. WE
RED SIMPLY CLAIM WE SELL GOODS AS
TICKET CHEAP AS ANY HOUSE IN THE
DAY. COUNTRY. AND OUR STRICT RULE
RED Is NOT TO BE UNDERsOLD BY ANY
TICKET ONE. WE HAVE ONE PRICE
DAY. STRICTLY. DO CASH BUSINESS
RED ONLY, THEREFORE, WE ARE PRE-
TICKET PARED TO MEET ALL COMPETITION
DAY. ONRED TICKET DAY,
RED WHICH WILL BE ON FRIDAY OF
TICKET EACH WEEK. WE SHALL EXHIBIT
DAY. AT RIDICULoUsLY LOW PRICES ALL
RED GOODS. SUCH AS wEHAvE SURPLUS
TICKET OF AND ARE sEAsoNABLE RE-
DAY MEMBER ON FRIDAY Is
OUR RED TICKET DAY.
BAUM,s,
416 1TH STREET N w
SPECIAL OFFERINGS IN WHITE GOODS!
FOR FRIDAY AND SATURDAY.
so PIECES FRENCH ORGANDIE STRIPES,
SOLD FORMERLY AT 37lac. PER YARD, AT
i! s;,s'
Ii sassS5
AREGoODVALUEs ATSoc PER YARD, AT
2ssa $500
% 0o CENTS.
aasa 0UOoo
25P1ECES c2-INCH DRESS GOODS. WHICH
SOLD EASILY AT 2oc. PER YARD, TO
i ''SS. CENTS.
Ii ii ss5sS
25 PIECES 36-TNCH SOLID COLORED
RA h;TiR - y AL D 51 pAR sHAnEs
I'll 1858
i CENTS.
oCHILpREY,s Cotton UNDERWEAK;
BAUM'S.
my22 4I6 1TH STREET NJ
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-05-22
Auction GooDs.

WE HAVE JUST OPENED I CASE OF GISG
HAMS BOUGHT AT THEGREAT AUCTION
SALE IN NEW YORK. " HIGH WE
ARE SELLING AT &c FOR
MERLY SOLD FOR l2lqc
LACE ZEPHYR GINGHAMS, SOMETHING
ENTIRELY NEW, 121gc., FORMERLY SOLD FOR
&c
100 PIECES BATI>TE. REDUCED To Ice
OWING TO OUR LARGE STOCK OF PARA
SOILS AND Sun UMBRELLAS NE HAVE
MARKED THEM DOWN FOR LESS THAN HALF
THE ORIGINAL COST
LARGE STOCK OF EMBROIDERED ROBES 81
ST, 81 AND $40.
INDIA LINENS, Sc. Zoe, I2Icc 15c 2oc AND 25c
FULL LINE OF WHITE LINEN LAWN 25c
31l--c- AND SOC
WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED OUR STOCK OF
SUMMER UNDERWEAR, An ELEGANT AETI-
Gle IN LADIES' AND GENTS VESTS. WHICH
WE ARE SELLING Al DC