davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04
Quick on His Hind Legs.

A curious little animal is on exhi
bition at fancier's store in this city. 1t
is about the size of small rat, and
looks like lilliputian kangaroo. There
are no forelegs to be seen, although
there are two, but so small that they
only become visible when held out from
the animals body, to which they closely
adhere. Its hind legs are just the re-
verse. They seem out of all proportion
to the gerboa, as the little fellow is called.
By their aid he can clear a space of
fully thirty feet at bound, flying
through the air like a gigantic cricket
or bird. In shape they resemble the
legs of spring chicken, and at a first
glance the gerboa looks like bat which
has lost its wings. Its anative of South
Africa, and spends the greater part of
its life in the earth. When burrowing,
if it should meet a layer of stone, it
gnaws its way through it with as much
case as a squirrel does a hickorynut.
The natives of that country kill it for
food by pouring water into its burrow
and striking it with stick as it leaps
out. Its extraordinary leaping powers
i'm which the little forearms are never
used-has also given it the name Of
flying hare.-N. Y. Mail and cypress.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04
Nothing New Under the Sun.

That there is nothing new under the
sun must surely have been the reflection
of those who read the strange story of
robbery at Portsmouth, which is de-
scribed in this mornings papers. Some
thousands of years ago King Rameses
of Egypt-as described by Herodotus-
got a builder to build him a secret
treasure-house to which the King alone
could find an entrance; but the astute
builder left loose stone and helped him
self at the treasury when he liked.
About ten years age, it appears, a gen.
tleman named Milligan. residing near
Portsmouth, being of primitive ideas,
thought that q sssecret drawer would
be safer than bank, and instructed q
workman to make him a receptacle OF
this nature. Into this drawer, when
constructed, MIR. Milligan poured some
hundred sovereigns, and never after
ward inspected the store until last year.
In the early part of this year Mr.. Mill
gan put two hundred more sovereigns
into the drawer. The builder of the
drawer seems, however, to have been
struck with the same idea as the Egyp-
tian architect of the treasure house, and
went and helped himself as he liked,
and to such an extent that he
has during the year purchased
some houses in the neighborhood I'm
fortunately the tales end differently;
for, when the SON of the Egyptian
builder eventually secured the princess
and half the kingdom, the English
builder has merely found his way into
the hands of the police.-St. James
Gazette.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04
Or. johnson in His Own Time.

DR.. Johnson's death was announced
in the principal country paper of De-
cember Is to 20, 1884, by a paragraph
in the summary of London news very
much in the same way as London Cor
respondence" is now sent down every
evening: December 14-Yesterday
afternoon, about ten minutes before
seven of the clock, there departed this
life, at his house in Bolt Court, Fleet
Street, in his seventy-sixth year. to the
inexpressible grief of his friends, and
to the infinite loss of his majesty's sub
jects, that eminent ornament of litera-
ture and firm friend of virtue and relig-
ion, DIR. Samuel johnson. His vener-
ated remains will be inferred in West
minister Abbey. Sir Joshua Reynolds,
Sir John Hawkins, and the learned DR..
Scott of the Commons are appointed his
executors. DR.. johnson settled his
worldly affairs five days before his
death. He was entirely resigned to the
will of God, and rarely spoke during
his last days except upon religious sub
jects. He passed away without a strug-
gle, dying SO quietly that the persons in
his chamber were not aware of the ex-
act moment of dissolution. London
World.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04
Bryant's Tender Confidence.

The following very pretty anecdote is
told of the late William Cullen Bryant,
the poet, by former associate in his
newspaper Office, which illustrates the
good mans simplicity of heart. Says
the narrator: Zone morning many
years ago, after reaching his Office and
trying in vain to begin work, he turned
to me and remarked: 4 can not get
along at all this morning. why notp
1 asked. o. he replied, 4 have done
wrong. When on my way here little
boy flying kite passed me. The string
of the kite having rubbed against my
face seized it and broke it. The boy
lost his kite, but l did not stop to pay
him for it. did wrong. l ought to
have paid him." This tenderness OF
conscience went far toward making the
poet the kindly, noble, honorable, and
honored man that he was, whose death
was felt as loss throughout the land.
Philadelphia Record.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04
NERVE.
An Incident which Occurred In Delaware
County, New York.

An Incident which Occurred In Delaware
County, New York.
II saw an exhibition of what you
might call nerve the other day up in
Delaware County," said Deacon Charles
N. Bean, of the public stores. Il was
up there on business last week, near
Harpersfield, and an acquaintance took
me out to fish for pickerel through the
ice. On our way to the pond we came
to q couple of men chopping in the
woods. My friend knew one of the
men, and stopped to talk with him.
The other man kept on chopping. He
had made but two or three strokes with
his ak when it few off the handle. The
sharp blade whizzed through the air,
passed close to my friends head, and,
striking the other chopper, whose name
was Hagar, cut his nose off close to his
face as clean as if it had been done with
a razor. The man who had lost it put
his hand up to his face in startled sort
of way and looked down at the severed
nose as if he could hardly believe his
eyes. When the full force of the situa-
ton struck him he looked at his fellow
chopper with an expression of surprise
and deep injury on his face, and said:
"'Well. Jack. you're nice fellow,
amt yep
"Hagar then stopped and picked up
his nose and, pressing his handkerchief
to his bleeding face, astounded both my
friend and myself by resuming the SUBJ
ject upon which they had been talking
which was the making of contract
for some chopping-as If nothing of
consequence had occurred to interrupt
it, NY friend, however, started the
other chap to the village after doctor,
and wanted to take Hagar home at
once on his blackboard. Hagar wouldn't
hear to this, and said he would cut
across to his cabin through the woods
and wait for the doctor, and he started
of, without any apparent hurry, carry
ing his nose in his hand.
"When we returned at night we went
out of our way two miles to inquire
after Hagar. We found him chopping
up fire wood in front of the cabin.
There was bandage around his face.
When we asked him if the doctor had
seen him he said:
"'Yes, he's been here. He stuck the
nose on in its old place and bound it
there, and said he believed it would
grow fast again, as he had known of
such things happening. Say, came
blame near getting mad at Jack when
that axe flew off to-day. He's always
cutting up some dido or other
Then we drove back to Harpersfield.
! had letter to-day from my friend.
He had just come from visit to Hagar.
He says the man is getting along, and
that the nose will grow fast again, sure.
Now, these are facts, and tell you that
Hagar struck me as giving an exhibit
ton of what you might call nerve."-
N. Y. Sun.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04
A GREAT JOKER.
How the Editor of an Arkansas Newspaper
Failed to Acquire Renown rs . Humor-
orys Writer.

How the Editor of an Arkansas Newspaper
Failed to Acquire Renown as . Humor-
Gus Writer.
Hack Knober, editor of the Weekly
Ker Slosh, humorous paper, itches
for prominent place among the testers
of America. His marked paragraphs
having failed to produce sensation,
and his long articles having been de-
clared to be as dismal as the screak of a
wooden hinge, he decided upon making
some new attempt.
II notice." he unused, one evening,
ssthat the best humorists in the past
were practical jokers. John Phoenix
and Artemus Ward made their greatest
hits in that way. Now, if l get up q
Joke on some Teller who travels around
some drummer who would go around
and tell it, would soon have nation
al reputation"
Hack was soon afforded an opportu-
nifty of enforcing this determination.
One night at the village hotel, he no
ticed nervous fellow who travelled for
a shoe house.
There's my man." unused Hack.
"I'll have him standing on his head to-
night How do you do?" addressing
the drummer.
$50, so. What sort of place i:
this you've got here? just now, while
| standing out there. dog came up and
it was all could do to keep him of
me-" 4.fie
"Must have been mad dog" re.
piled Hack. ''Good many of them in
the neighborhood,"
"Well, that lets rue out. / shall leave
here in the morning"
Hack inquired the number of the
drummer's room, and, late in the even
ing. slipped in and got under the bed.
The drummer came in after a while
| and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Hack growled like a dog.
| II hope" said the drummer aloud
"that won't have another fit tonight
I'd better throw this pistol away, for
might kill somebody. No, blamed if
don't keep it. wouldn't mind killing
few such fellows as live in this town
That fool editor ought to die"
Hack did not growl.
HE ought to go this night. fee
that thing coming on me. Believe III
sleep under the bed. Then, if any ons
should come in to kill me, they couldn''
find me-"
The sharp corners of Hacks bone.
began to thump the floor
"Believe I'll shoot under there I
couple of times" s
'.For Gods sake, hold on, Mister!
exclaimed Hack, crawling out, 81 WASH
doing anything-I-" He made {
break for the door.
.Who is that awful fellow?" asked
Hack, when he reached the Office.
why. don't you know him?'
No" IS.
"He's going to be your rival here il
business. Has bought the NeUs. Saw
him laughing just before he went up
Said he was going to have some fun.
Hack groaned.
''Said one of the boys was trying Il
play joke on him. Said that he hear'
that you were great practical joker
Don't be in hurry. Told me tina
when he got a chance he was going t.
write you up. Well, good night"
The weekly Ker Slosh has suspended
Hack works at steamboat landing
ArkansaU Traveller. M
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04

To make really good ghost-story
my narrative should go no further; but
the sequel has still to be told. | in
vented an excuse to appease the
curiosity of my friends, who naturally
were anxious to know what had sent us
home in such fashion-the pony in a
lather and myself with a scared, unin-
telligible expression. did not want to
tell the real story until | had made
some effort to unravel it. With this end
in view l started on foot soon after
breakfast for the house had dined at,
intending to make a thorough examina-
ton of the bridge and the course of the
stream ON my way, and to question
some of the cottagers in the hamlet. l
was saved the trouble, however. l had
not gone much more than mile when
l perceived coming along the road
toward me sturdy peddler. with a fur
cap on his head, and pack OF very
large dimensions fastened on his broad
shoulders. Such fellows are very COM
monty met with in the outlying dis
tricts of the Highlands, where they do
a roaring trade in ribbons, sham jew
elry and small wares, besides carrying a
fund of gossip from place to place. In
the specimen of the class now before
me was not long in recognizing she
ghost of the haunted brig, and on
hailing him was soon in possession OF
the whole story "Yes; he was the man
that was sitting on the bridge about
eleven o'clock; and was l the gentleman
that rode past as if all the witches in
the countryside were at his heels?
Faith. it was a proper fright l had given
him."
sBut tell me- asked, "what OIL
earth were you doing there at such time
of night?"
"Weel, sir, was very late of gettin
across the ferry; and it was a LANCER
step than I had thocht doom to the
village; and had guild walk the day
already, and was tired-like. The brig
was kind o handy for a rest; so l just
sat down on the dixie and had Bit
smoke O. the pipe. Losh, sir, whenyou
cam scourin' past. / thocht it was the
dell himser; but then / just thocht il
was myself sittin' in the shadow that
had frighted your beastie, and it had
run AVA wi you like. And when
cam the length O. the village, l just
had to creep into bit shed; and wi
my pack and some straw 1 soon made a
| bed" s ~
So here was the whole story. The
deep shadow on the bridge had pre-
vented me from seeing the sitter's legs
the heavy knap-sack had given him q
hump-back; the fur cap and the glow Of
the pipe accounted for the fiery counte
nance. With mutual explanations we
parted-he to push his sales in the
villages beyond; /, to hurry on to the
house in the glen, whose inmates at first
evinced the liveliest interest in the over
night episode-an interest, however
which waned to disappointment as
proceeded to explain how the ghost was
laid. 1 may mention that l omitted the
''scourin' past portion of the adven
ture. How they will chaff me wher
they read Chambers Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04
PUNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

--One-half of the world doesn't know
how the other half lives. And It's just
as well. 1t saves great deal of gossip.
Boston Courier.
Brides ON the Island of Sicily are
compelled to have their eyebrows shaved
off Immediately before the wedding
ceremony takes place.
An Ohio girl, while out riding with
a young man, got out of the buggy and
killed herself with pistol. He proba-
bly, persisted in driving with both hands.
Detroit Free Press.
well, now, that sticks in NV
crop!' remarked the old farmer, as q
customer showed him over six bushels
of twigs and branches extracted from
ton of his best hay.-Burlington Free
Press.
Bachelors can breathe easy again.
For three years they need not blush
and start coyly and timorously when the
fair maidens tell them they have some-
thing to say in confidence.
-''If you would be truly happy, my
dear, said one lady to another, ssyou
will have neither eyes nor ears when
your husband comes home late from the
club" Eyes, know" answered the
other, YEARLY, s.but what am l to do
with my nose?'
AT the rink:
A daring young man named McCollum,
VINO Was long and lank, and looked solemn,
And the words that he said
would NIL long newspaper column;
-NO5rist0tcn Herald.
1t was just after the tiff. II won
der" snarled Romeo, "if we shall
know each other in heaven" "I'll re-
member you, of course" replied Juliet,
with tender emphasis, 'sbut, of course.
l couldn't know you without meeting
you" and a period of silence as long as
centennial poem crept into the room.
m Y Herald.
Business has been rather dun in
Texas this year. A Galveston drummer
who had made tour of the State. on
his return to Galveston was asked by
his boss: well, did you get any
orders?" II should smile. / don't
think | went into single store, that
wasn't ordered out by the proprietor
himself. "--Tsras Siffings.
When Mrs. Oleo. the boarding.
house mistress, was told that the inspec-
tor OF provisions had seized 468 pounds
OF veal, ninety-two pounds of poultry,
fifty-two pounds of bear meat. thirty-
seven lambs. six barrels of peas, and
200 boxes of herring, she remarked:
Pretty good appetite; but nothing to
some OF my boarders. You'd ought to
see tnem when they're good and hum
CRY. Chicago Tribune.
-:Smith, how is it that you always
get such good bargainsP" queried Jones.
Because was taught in nv infancy
habits of thrift, patience and economy
replied Smith. my father was always
drumming it into me to wait little
while and you'll purchase cheaper.
Why. even my mother used to sing bye
low, baby. before could walk. Jones
was perfectly satisfied with the explanar
tion.-Boston Courier.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04

AT restaurant the other day the
antics of a green-looking customer, who
was twisting up.in his chair, and turn
ing round in all sorts of contortions, at
tracted attention. Approaching him,
finally, the restaurant man asked in deep
perplexity: what do you do that for?
For heavens sake! what is the matterP
Was it the lobster?" Lobster be
blowedr' growled the victim, with we'll
feigned anger; I'm only taking my
dessert" "Your. DESSERT" Eyes; look
at your bill of fare" We threw our
eyes over it. 1t enumerated some dozen
good things for dinner, and at the bot
tom were printed in fair large type the
words: "For dessert turn over. IN.
Y Ledqer.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04

Governor Kinkead, of Alaska, says
it will be impossible to build railroads
in that country. Alaska is larger than
all of the United States east Of the Mis-
sissippi River.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04

An immense chain has just been
made at Newburyport, Mass. 1t is two
hundred feet long and weighs 1900
pounds. 1t is made of two and one
third inch iron, and each link weighs
twenty-five pounds. Boston Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04

Colorado women, it is said, can en-
dure more cold than any other class Of
persons in the country.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04

Thomas A. Doyle has entered upon
his seventeenth year as Mavor of Prov
idence, 4. L ~ s<.AI
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-04-04

stream was loud and near now; the
gloom increased as we plunged deeper
into the wood that filled its basin; in
another minute the bridge would be far
behind, when, without the lest warn
ing, the pony SHE'D TO one side and
then. stood stock still, quivering all
over. The shock all but sent my'fiy-
ing over his head; but by an effort
kept my seat. l had not far to look for
the cause of the beasts fright. Not a
dozen yards away were the dimly seen
parapets of the bridge; and on one of
them crouched an object that froze me
with terror. There are some moments
in which the events of lifetime pass in
review; there are some glances in which
an infnity of detail can be taken in
quicker than eve can close. This was
one of them. do not suppose that my
eye rested on the terror for more than
second; but in that brief space saw
what seemed like the upper part of a
distorted human body. hunchbacked
and without legs, with face that
glowed with the red light of fire! l can
laugh now when think of my fright;
but at the moment l remember getting
the pony into motion somehow with
stick, bride and voice, and speeding
across the bridge like a thunderbolt,
crouching down, Tam O'Shanter-like,
and momentarily expecting to feel the
grip of a clammy hand on my neck!
Hard. hard we galloped through the
hamlet / have mentioned; nor did /
slacken the pace until the lights of my
abode had cleaned through the planta-
ton and we were safe and sound in the
stable-yard.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-04-18
Berkeley Springs.
Ed. Independsnt

Ed. Independent:
Our city dads have had the streets
cleaned.
Mr.. II. II. Boyd visited Berkeley
Spring this week.
am glad to see Col. Flagg out
again.
Sheriff Willard has two boarders,
one lunatic and the other charged
with assault and battery.
There is great deal of sickness
throughout our county.
Death again visited our town last
Friday and claimed Mr.. James Jacks
as it's victim. Mr.. Jack has been all
ing for some time, but until recently
he has been out and around town.
There are very few who have visited
Berkeley springs who did not know
him. He was for many years pro-
prietor of the stage line between this
place and Alpine, and between here
and Sir Johns Run, and was con-
sidered the best four-in-hand driver
in this section. In his demise our
town has lost an honorable and up
right citizen, the travelling public a
faithful and conscientious servant,
and his family kind and loving
father, and his friends true and
trusted companion. The funeral SER
vices were conducted at the M. E.
Church by Rev. H. p West, assist
ed by Rev. George Crosfield. Rev.
West preached from st. John, vi
chap. 68th verse: "Then Simon Pc
ter answered him, Lord, to whom
shall we go? thou hast the words of
eternal life." Rev. Crosfeld read
the Goth Psalm, and then comment
ed on the life of the deceased. The
church was crowded to OVERLOOKING,
and very large concourse offriends
follow his remains to the grave. Mr..
Jack was &C years and ii months
old.
Mr.. Joseph Morgan, of Gerards-
town, uncle to our Dr. Morgan,i is Wis.
iting the Doctor, at this place.
SQUATTER
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-04-18

Board OF Directors. John w.
Garrett, President; Mr.. Robert Gar
rett, Vice President Mr.. Samuel Spen-
Ger, I'd Vise-P President, Baltimore and
Ohio Railroad Co. Hon. Henry G.
Davis, President w. Va. Central and
Pittsburg Railroad Co !; Mr.. VIM. f.
Burns, President Eutaw Savings
Bank, Baltimore: Mr.. 7. Harrison
Garrett, of Robert Garrett & Sons,
Baltimore; Hon. Ferdinand G. La
trobe, Mayor of Baltimore.
Representing large ocean and land
transportation interests, this Com
pany, with it's extensive European and
home agencies, offers foreign and
American settlers special inducements
for locating upon its large land hold
ings adjacent to the Baltimore and
Ohio Railroad, it's branches and con-
nections.
1t acts as agent for, and gives spe-
cial attention to, selling and settling
lands in Maryland, Virginia and West
Virginia, Ohio, Indiana and Illinois /;
provides tenants for desirable proper
ties; supplies laborers, skilled work
men, dc.
1t makes advances for plant, erects
buildings, acts as agent for immi
grants and others settled under its
auspices, in marketing their products,
etc.
1t encourages the establishment of
manufacturing industries and gives
substantial aid to the development
OF dormant resources.
Its primary objects being to slim
ulate local settlements, foster local in
dustries and to develop the resources
OF the country tributary to the Balti
more and Ohio Railroad, this Com
pany enjoys liberal concessions from
the B. d y and other companies III
whose territory it operates, Its
thorough organization, commanding
influence and superior opportunities
for selecting lands admirably adapted
by physical characteristics and situa-
ton for agriculture, manufacturing
and other industries, will strongly
commend its agency and liberal poll
cy to those desiring to purchase lands
for estates and homesteads possessing
the advantage of an old civilization,
for vineyards, for sheep and cattle
grazing, for numbering, manufactur-
ing and mining purposes.
correspondence from land and
emigrant agents especially invited.
For prospectus describing advan-
tage of climate, soils and their pro-
ductsand m ar kets, ETC., and full in
formation, address DIR. w. L. BAR
NARD, Secretary and General Manager,
b. q o., Immigration Co., Baltimore,
Md.