davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-02-07
WIT AND WISDOM.

Tin and brass do not 90 well to-
gether, says scientific paper. Mr..
Science, you're away off. It's always
the fellow with brass that gets the girl
with tin. - Y0nkerS Statesman.
Why is the gentleman called a
pawnbroker? Because the oftener you
90 to him the broker you get, and the
broker you are, the oftener you 90 to
him. This, also, will apply to any
broker. Rise and sing.-Bardette.
Roller skating;
"On the rollers he glides like the cars,
But an accident his happiness mars;
As so swiftly he sped,
He sat down on his head,
And he saw aboutten million +**!
-NOrriStOlDB Herald
"A preacher noted for his originality
enlightened his hearers one Sabbath by
the remark; "a conclusive proof that
God is benevolent is seen in the fact
that He has placed death at the end in
stead of at the beginning of life. "
Little boy: How old are you, pa?
Father l will be forty-seven on my
next birthday. Little boy: When is
that? Father: The 22d of February.
Little boy (surpris6d); Why, thought
that was Washington's birthday.-M
Y. Herald.
Two Texas ladies were talking
about the children. How is your boy
coming on at SCHOOL," He is quite an
artist. He is drawing live animals"
80 is my boy, Bill. He drew a cat up
in a tree. He drew it all up by him
self, too" ''Did he use a crayonP"
''No; he used rope. "-IerdS Sift-
ingS.
Husband, did you mail my letter."
eyes, my dear; had to run like fury to
catch the first mail" "Why, here it is
in your pocket now" "Hey? Una
yes; so it is-no, this isn't your letter;
this is-that is, this isn't the one you
wrole; this is the one you were going to
write and forgot" John Henryr"
mo, Mary, didn't mail your letter"
'Well, I'm awfully glad. want to
add a postscript. "-Chicdgo NetCS
Papa, dear, DO you know there is
one place that am constantly envy
ingP" and what attractive spot is
that, my daughterP" Its Eliza
beth, " responded The ingenious maiden.
Explain yourself, my child. My Greek
education was sadly neglected. " 'Well,
papa, Elizabeth ought to be happy, for
it's in a New jersey all the time" Ere
another dawn this damsel had her gar
ment and the old man had the bill
N y Graphic.
Mamie Smith was incorrigibly
good-natured, and was the sort of a
jolly, fun-loving, and lovable little chit
that it was next to impossible to punish
when correction was necessary. After
having exhausted other and ordinary
available methods, one day her mother
put her in bed at three o'clock in the
afternoon, and kept her there supper
less till next morning. When Mamie
came down to breakfast she said, in hel
sweetest way: Mamma, L do wish you
would put me to bed every day at three
o'clock, l get so beautifully rested. ~
Hdrper'S Rdzar.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-02-07
Egophobia.

Every one realizes in the abstract the
virtue and beauty of GLOWING ones
own horn" 1t is quite a truism to
say that people are going to take you at
your own estimate of yourself, and a
truism that is more than sufficiently
acted upon so long as you only are in
question, so long as yourself is in the
singular. Alas! how prevalent is the
vice of egotism, how prone are all men
to talk about their own affairs, their ad-
ventures, their characteristics, their CO.
centricities. Are not all the men one
knows in the habit of saying: "Well,
I'm very peculiar in this, that or The
other regard, when, in truth, they are
not peculiar in the least, but most wea-
risomely and painfully alike.-N o.
Times Democrat.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-02-07
A RHYME IN BLANK.

The Missing Word to BE Supplied by the
Intelligent Reader.
knew man and knew his wife.
Great learning had they from the schools;
Yet, candor forces me to say:
They were pair of -.
They had n son who early drank
From hard experiences pool;
Who knew much more than older folks
And also was a..
These parents bought this boy gun,
With little bullets hard and cool;
Upon the gun was sweetly carved:
To our beloved -"
One grave old fogy shook his head,
And thereby gained much ridicule;
The boy went hunting with a friend,
Another precious -.
Two walked away, and one ran back.
Says he: THAT gun was very cruel"
The startled neighbors shrieked and cried:
"Where is that other -"
Last night viewed marble slab,
All craven with practiced tool
And read thereon these stony words:
"Here lies lifeless -"
Mrs. Geo. Archtbdld, in Burlington HdtUksye
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-02-07

Poets are nearly all smokers. This
doesn't necessarily indicate there is any.
thing wrong with the tobacco, however.
Chicago Herald
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

cealed himself under the trunks in the baggage
car. with the ring on his finger He did this in
order that might not him again. A mere
way station like Knobnoster was no place for
him to get off at. He wished to slip away at
some town where he could meet his pals. Be
sides. twas not,such great haul after all, and
not worth running away for. He was profes
sional confidence man; had seen me pick up the
rlng, and thought it good opportunity to secure
such a prize, on which ne had already fixed
covetous eyes when George Sherbrooke wore it
Then came the crash and the end of Colonel
Pike, of st. Joe.n
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

/. A letter. 2. To remain 8. Equal valve. A.
Solcitude. 5. A bird of the partridge kind. 6. One
employed to perform the duties of another. z. A
postofice of Wndham county, VT. 8. One invested
with royal privileges and rights. 3. In music male
voice. TO- Serenity. AMOS QUIrO.
SILVER LAKE, Ind.
NO. 1783-ENIGMA
My L, q 3, a. 5 are the indicators of balance
My6,. z, 8, 8 is basis
Ny 10, IL, II. 13. IA is heritage.
Whoe-A genus of grasses Peoples Cyclopedia.)
DETROIT Mich. NANCY LEE.
NO. 1784-cHARADE,
November 10 I inaled this letter;
The sooner you get it the better.
Immediately primaed it to YOU
That's enough, so am through.
DETROIT Mich. COMEDIAN BYRON.
NO. 1854 NEW YORK TOWN.
How sweet at early morn to hear
The forest songster first his lay,
As in a voice sublimely clear
He greets the dawning of the day.
Next on sweet birds in all thy glee
And gladden. all our hearts to-day;
Lift up your voices from each tree
And cheer all as best you may.
The Empire State to all known well,
Contains my whole. where prisons be;
But four repeated letters spell
The town which must be known to thee.
UNCLE WILL.
NO. 1786-REMovALs.
1. Remove letter from to damage and leave
earth. 2. From joyous cry and leave to close. 8.
from TO understand ana leave part OF the h6aQ. x.
From part of the face and leave insect. 5. From
not very long and leave loud noise g. From being
apt and leave kind of bread. z. From kind of
grass and leave canopy. 8. From to discover and
leave part IS fish. DORA.
.RUSHVILLE, O.
NO. 1787-BEHEADINGS.
Behead the cubcal base of column, and leave
troubles again. and leave to perform; again. and leave
to utter an exclamation. e.
BROOKVILLE, o.
NO. l7SS-LETTER ENIGMA
To new not in old;
In bend, not in fold;
In you, not in him;
In drown, not in swim;
In oyster not in clam;
In Pat not in Sam;
In minute, not in hour;
In bake, not in flour,
In paying your respects"
Answer is an order of insects
DETROIT, Mich. GRACE DARLING.
NO. l789-BEHEADINGS
1. Behead the remainder and leave an Ave Mary.
2 Intention and leave abbrevation. 3. Judgment
and leave wing 4. fruit and leave an excursion
5. To be infaned and leave part of the body g. A
trance and leave inclined. DoDo.
GALLON, 0.
NO. 179O-DIAMoND.
/. letter. 2. constellation. g. Confronted
4. fish, 5. Foppish 6. Distant. z. Foreigners.
3. To Free - letter. RALLIN A. MOT.
DETROIT, Mich.
Answers in three weeks.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

F. b. CULVER, of Westfeld, Chautauqua
county, New York, was afflicted with scrofuIous
eruptions over the back and thigh, accompanied
with nausea and neuralgia pains in the head so
severe that on one occasion he fell unconscious
in the street Physicians failing to do him good,
he commenced using Brandreth's Pills-fve
every night for a week, then rested three days.
and took five every night for another week, then
two every night for thirty days To his delight,
at the end of that time the eruptions had disap-
peared and all pain had gone. He continues to
take one pill occasionally as precaution.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

AMOS QUITo heads the list of puzzles this week
with good half square.
NANCY LEE is new member hailing from Detroit
We give him welcome and ask him to call again.
COMEDIAN BYRoN--We are thankful for the little
charade Please let US receive frequent visits from
you
DoRA-Next time be sure to write upon only one
side of the paper. Matter written otherwise bothers
the editor of the puzzles.
CURTIS LETTERING glad to receive the ans
wers. Please again.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
CHURCH SERVICES.
Baptist.

EIRST BAPTIST CHURCH-NORTHEAST COR.
Il of New York and Pennsylvania streets.
Rev. Reuben Jeffrey, D. D., pastor, will preach to-
morrow morning on .'The Evanescent and Permanent
in Human Life" There will be no evening SERVICE
the church will join in the anniversary of the
Benevolent Society at Englishs Opera-house. Sab
bath.school at p. m. Prayer-meetng Thursday
evening at 7:45.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

By Curtis Letter, Indianapolis Nos 1850. 176:
1865.
By r. R., Indianapolis: Nos 1853 (nearly) 1870
1761, 1862, 1903 PARTIALLY 1894, 1865.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
Answers to Puzzles.
No. 1853

Answers to Puzzles.
No. 1903 G.
BEN
WOE
AFT
OFF
FRY
SET
EYE
ACT
ARK
B "A T
LAYER
L A @ o MIC
PEA NISM
No. 1759-Hubble bubble.
No. 1760-Constantinople.
No. 1871. Mad-dam; 2. Lap-pal; 3. Rap-par;
4. Tp-pit.
No. 1762-An egg.
No. 1881. Heard; 2. Money; g. Hap(pine)ss;
f. C(alDing 5, Disappearing; 6. HGlDock; z.
Po(tent)ate.
No. 1854 Low
l. o
OR A l.
w E l. l.
No. 1765-Obelisk
No. 1766-Plump lump plum lum, Lu.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
THE PUZZLE DEPARTMENT.

Everything relating to this department must be adj
dressed to w. III. Graffam West Scarborough Cum
berland county, Maine Original contributions and
answers to each weeks puzzles solicited from all
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
Christian.

TENTRAL CHRISTIAN CHURCH-CORNER OF
" Delaware and Ohio streets. E. j. Gantz pastor.
Services on Sunday at 1890 a. M. and 7:30 p. m.
All are invited to attend these services.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
The Premiums.
Puzzles Answered.

]. For the first complete list of answers an album
2; Next best list, small book, or fifty address.
cards.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
Prize Winn.
Foot Notes.

/. No complete list has been received.
2. r. R.-Pack of address cards.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
When BABY was sick, we gave her Castoria
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria
EP SIS COCOA

BIKE A K f Asst.
"By thorough knowledge of the natural law
which govern the operations of digestion and nutrition
and by careful application of the fine prope ties of
wellselected Cocoa Mr.. Epps has provided break
fast tables with decately -havored beverage which
may us many heavy doctors bills. It is by the
udicious use of such articles of diet that eonstitu-
tton may be gradually built up until strong enough to
resist every tendency to disease Hundreds of subtle
maladies are floating around US ready TO attack
wherever there is a weak point. We may escape many
fatal shaft by keeping ourselves well fortified with
pure blood and properly nourished frame. Civil
Service Gazette.
Made simply with boiling water or milk. Sold only
IN naif pound TINS oy Grocers, labeled thus
London, England.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
Methodist Episcopal

|tENTRALAvENUE METHODIST EPISCOPAL
" Church-Corner of Central avenue and Butler
street. Rev. A. w. Lamport, pastor. Preaching to-
morrow at 1890 a. M and 73O p M by the pastor.
Young peoples meeting at $50 p. m. Strangers cor
daily welcomed
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

ELEVENTH. PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH-CORNER
- Cedar and Elm Streets Rev. r. V. Hunter, pas
tor. Usual morning services Sabbath school at $50
p m. Evening services omitted on account of the
annual charity meeting.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
UniyarsaIiSt

CERvICES EVERY SUNDAY AT 1890 IN
- True Friend Hall, No. Ia When Block The
service for tomorrow win consist of singing recita-
tons and reading by the Sunday school,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
Protestant Eniscnnai

~ RACE (EPISCoPAI1 CHURoH-CORNER OF
VI North Pennsylvania and st. Joseph streets Rev.
Augustine Prentiss, rector. Services at 1890 A. m
and 1880 p IN. Sunday school at 2:30 p. m
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

NEERIDIAN-STREET METHODIST EPISCOPAL,
WI Church-Corner New York and Meridian streets
Rev. J. E. Gilbert, d. D., pastor. Glasses at $50 a.
school at p. m. Young peoples meeting at $50 D.
m. The congregation will unite with the Charity
Organization anniversary services in the evening
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

CECOND PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH-CORNER
- of Pennsylvania and Vermont streets. Rev James
Mcleod, d. D., pastor Preaching at 1890 a. m.
No evening service, the congregation uniting with
annual meeting of the indianapolis Benevolent So
ciety. Sunday school at 23Op. m. Prayermeeting
on Thursday evening at 7:3O All are cordially in.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

TABERNACLE CHUROH-CORNER MERIDIAN
l. and Second streets. Rev. j. Albert Rondthaler
pastor. Morning services at 1890 o'clock Sunday
ples prayer-meeting at 3:45 D. m No evening sery.
ice account of the meeting of the Charity 0rgani-
Zation.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
D OBERTS PARK METHODIST EPISCOPAL

ROi'hhIo FAFSh MEIHUDIST EPISCOPAL
Az Church-Corner of Delaware and Vermont streets
Rev. l. ii. Mcconnell, pastor. Glass at a. m and
6:3Op m. Preaching at 1890 a. m. and 7:3O D. M
by the pastor. Sunday.school at 2 p. nj. Young
peoples meeting on Monday at 7:30 p. m. Prayer
meeting on Thursday at 7:30 p. m. Song service of
twenty minutes before preaching Sunday evening,
and revival services in connection with the Sunday
evening service. Everybody invited
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
Presbyterian.

THIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH - SOUTH.
II west Pennsylvania and New York streets.
morrow at 1915 a. m. and 7:3O D. M The public
cordially invited.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
NEW OCCIDENTAL HOTEL

e. A. COOK, Proprietor.
Cor. Illinois and Washington Streets,
INDIANAPOLIS, IND.
E7RATES So PER DAY.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28

1t was in the early part of September, about
five months after what was known as the Green
river bridge accident. that was in the town of
Huason-on- Hudson, N. Y, on business 1t was
trivial matter had taken me there but before
had carried out my object 1 received a very
| urgent telegram from the head of our firm tell
ing me to start at once for Springfield, Mass
and close an important contract This contract
was one for which number of rival manufact-
urers had put In bids. and it had remained open
on account of some little difference as to terms
looked at my watch and found. to my annoy
| ance that had just missed the train that would
| have enabled me to make connection and get to
| Springfield late that night / knew it was nee
essary for me to be there before business hours
in the morning in order to beat my competitors
So determined to drive over to Pittsfeld and
express from Troy to Boston which
passes through Springfield and would
enable me to be there in proper time. For this
purpose hired horse and buggy, which un
dertook to send back in good order and condi-
ton to my friend, the Hudson livery stable
keeper knew the direction in which l must
drive, but was quite unacquainted with the road.
l am, however, generally successful in finding
my way through strange regions, and
reason why this instance should be exception
| to the rule. 1t was one Of those September
nights that might easily be mistaken for one in
april The air was warm, but the weather was
squaily and rainy. Black clouds obscured the
moon for time, then would follow a shower
giving excellence promise of rain for the re-
mainder OF the night But the moon encircled
by halo, would again show itself, only to be
once more concealed from view. 1t was there
fore dark and light by turns and after driving
eight or ten miles through thlckly-wooded and
billy country fancied was off the road. I
stopped at a farm house and aroused the farmer
from his slumbers, much to his disgust
'Ill give you $10," said, Ito drive with me
as far as Pittsfeld. I'm not sure of the road
and I'm in hurry to get there"
He surveyed me carefully to make sure that
was not a horse-thef or tramp.
s.Wa-a, mister $40 is good bit of money
but I'm an old man, and / don't want to go
myself. But if my gon Pete likes to go he kin"
Pete did like" and was soon on my journey
again. Pete was TALL raw. uncouth youth Of
about twenty. he had very little 10 say, 80 at
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-11-28
CHARLES E. KREGELO.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR and EMBALNER
TELEPHONE 564.
FREE A AMBULANCE

CANITARY HOME-At 334 North New Jersey ST.
- indianapolis, Ind Chronic diseases and diseases
of women a speciality. The methods employed are
electricity, Swedish movements, baths and Other
hygienic agents. RACHEL SWAIN, NJ. D.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-02-13
he Revealed Himself.

I1ttSb-fgh Chronicle Telegraph.
A gentleman who had courted and
married his wife in full beard and
lived for ten years with her endowed
with the same hirsute adornment,
quiet by determined to have it cut of.
HIS wife found it difficult to recognize
him, and she sat staring at his strange
appearance for some time. well, ,
he exc laimed, ''have you got nothing
else to do but sit stilll suppose you
expect me to do all the work, while
you loaf as usual" he snappishly
said. "Why, it is you after all;
knew you the moment you spoke,
she replied.
Our Sanitary Bureau report for 1884
records 80, 527 births, IL, sos marriages
and 1904 deaths. The figures for
1888 were respectively %, 972, II, 566
and SO, 9S2, OF the births, Is, 49S were
boys. There were 292 twins. OF the
mothers, 429 had theth child, 200
their eleventh, III their twelfth, II
their thirteenth, 80 their fourteenth,
Is their fifteenth, S their sixteenth, ]
her seventeenth, 2 their eighteenth,
her nineteenth, ? their twentieth, and
l her twenty first. There we're 1851
deaths from violence; 50 were homi-
cides. No deaths from smallpox is
reported The suicides numbered 22t
of whom SO were women: 121 persons,
of whom IS were women, lived be
yond 80 years; Is centenarIans also
died.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-02-13

REDUCED IN COST from $500 to $500, com
pairing contents fairly from $3.50 to $780, for the only
other American edition of GUZoT comes down TO
The French Revolution only, and is continued to Ma
po1eon III. by MARTIN, and $3.50 is the published
price of the two works. THIS ILLUSTRATED
LIBRARY EDITION covers from the earliest times to
1848 is written by NJ GUzoT Prime Minister of France,
and completed from his notes by his daughter Madame
GUIzoT DE WITT. 1t is published in volumes, small
octave printed from the type shown by these lines con-
tains the 426 Illustrations mostly full page, of the
imported edition. is bound in tasteful Library style,
dark green CLOTH beveled boards gilt tops Price OF the
set only $500 by express, sent prepaid for $3.50
"IHere is only ONE DRA WBACK. it seems more
like getting present than making apurchase Guzot
brilliant of French historians well the most
upon He the Macaulay of the history of Frances
his style and treatment philosophical ddacc, rich In
detail dramatic in arrangement His narrative is full of
emotion quick his characters rise before
the flesh they and not historic lay figures.
It charming asany and the interest permanent
1t is work to keep and read and Teread for
ion ChurcHndn, Toronto, Canada.
Tn ENGLISH, at least, original translated have
NO WORK of French history that CAN APPROACH
1T We work that gives the complete history.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-02-13

ways has start; any member viii
tell you-it started this way: As soon
as I got to congress / got letter from
one of my constituents con graduating
me upon my election. and saying that
he knew now there would De some
legislation the constitution should
not BE- violated; I must introduce a
bill in the house to prohibit fishing IN
my district with three hooks to one
line-'twas unconstitutional. l an
swered that letter, bewailing the utter
disregard of congress for the national
fisheries, and explaining the utter
uselessness of attempting class legis
lation. That settled it. ! got four let
tiers from that noishborhood By re-
turning, mail, and they kept on in
creasing until the entire population
was represented by autograph letters.
NV promptness to answer all let
ter was heralded all over the country
and / was asked to pass all sorts OF
bills, from one to regulate the length
of prayers to one for the suppression
of kissing at pound parties. One man
wanted to know whether the rope
Guiteau was hung with was hemp or
cotton. I referred the letter TO the
department of justice, The attorney
general Endorsed it to the warden of
the jail, who returned it TO me with a
minute Official description of the rope
the material, length, and manner
OF make. This contributed largely
to increase my correspondence. Every
body who had something to write
about that no one else would netice,
was told my address with the as
sGrance that | loved to write letters.
A large number of my letters now
are applicants for places under the
new administration. One man
wanted a place that would take him
to Canada. He did not know what
particular place. His doctor told him
that it would benefit his health to
live there, and if / would just look
around and find place there for him
with pretty good salary attached he
woald like it. But, by the way, he
had children just growing up. l
might take this into consideration,
and get him located where there were
good free schools.
Another fellow wrote that he
WOuIu lcdNS IL W lAIS w P41h obb %
good place for him. but mustn't get
the salary below $1,000. He thought
I'd be better judge of good places
than he was.
"Some men may refer these letters
to the waste basket, but it dol4t do.
They must be answered. | must
write; good by. mustn't waste more
time talking I'll have to sit up
late to make up for it. I must write.
The walls are closing around me-"
well, my good fellow, what can |
do for you2' and he turned to sup
plant in soldier clothes, who stood at
his elbow with persistence in his face
and glazed cap in his hands.
Il am an American by adoption.
In SO I married an American woman
with mule-her grandfather left it
to-"
But at this moment the petitioner
was trust aside by Mexican pension
err, who wore three medals and had
been personal friend of Win SCOTS,
and wanted his pension increased.