Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-04-25


ear and two front teeth; Ia couldn't find those"
A Great Advantage.
From the New York Times.
Young Wife, Gust home from the cooking
school. II feel SO encouraged. Miss Parloa COM
plimented me on my progress to-day. But poor
Miss Smith! l am real sorry for her. She tries
hard, but she doesn't seem to get on at all.
Young Husband-You must remember nv
dear, that Miss Smith has no one to practice on.
Saturday Smiles.
When creek meets creek then comes the an.
nual spring freshet-Bulington Free Press
1t is rumored that Postmaster General Villas
is going to institute a reform in postage stamps,
so the twOs can be distinguished from the ones
even in the darkest night The mucilage on
the twos will be Favored with vanilla and that
on the ones with lemon.-Springfetd Union.
The new empress of China is named Kan Di
No doubt She will be a Kan Di-date for great
deal of 'tatty' from the photographic fraternity
in this country. They have already commenced
to extract ''sweet" puns from her name but
Kan Didly, we don't think it very gallant for
them to do so.-NO,ristO,Cn Herald.
Miss Ada Sweet Is 40 years of age The desire
of the administration is to put a younger and a
sweeter girl in her place. Let the work of re-
form go on.-AHdntd Constitution
Russia desires to buy some American ships of
war. Wonder where she saw any samples?-
LO,OeH Citizen.
Mr.. Colman, the newly appointed Commits
soner OF Agriculture, is as sound on the Chinese
sugar cane question as Loring or Leduc,
The motto of the department is "Resorghum
Chicago Current
How innocently unfortunate is the utter
frankness of childhood. Young Orotund Del
sarte, the dramatic reader, was taking tea on
invitation, with the family, and in the evening
favored the guests with q few of his most start
ling. recitations He was approached by the
midget of the family, fairy In looks, but with
an early development of speech.
"NOw, know why you talk so loud when
you speak pieces she said to him.
"And why, my deare" with little patroniz-
ing stroke of the golden hair.
"'CauSe YOU BellOWcutiOnfSt. m III 60 -
That child will be put to bed early after this
Hartford Post.
altogether too big an advantage over a man
Recently a female dentist in Oregon became
very much mashed on one of her gentleman
patients, and resolved that she must have him
either by fair means or foul. She gave him a
dose OF ether just large enough to confuse him
and while he was in this state she sent for min
lister and they were married. When the man
came to his senses, and found out what was up
he smiled pleasantly and said 1.-THE cigars are
home. '--Peck's Sun.
1t Is said of certain eminent politician in
Massachusetts that in his young days he tried to
get on, later in life he tried to get honor, and
now he Is trying to get honest.-BostOn Beacon
Don't spend your money for a motto Of "Ssve
My Lambs until you have cleaned out the back
yard and disinfected the vaults and sewers
Detroit Free Press.
Matrimonial Item.-Uncle Nose approached
the county clerk the other day to obtain a mar
riage license. The clerk, in order to poke fun at
the Old man, said seriously: 81 hope the bride has
got seventy-five cents in cash. for the legislature
has passed law orbidding us to issue a license
unless the bride has that amount" "JeSs go
approaching the clerk, and then he leaned over
and whispered in his ear, ''dars reliable ruInors
about u dollar and a quarter."-ArkansaO ITa,-
eiker.
Cautious Lover.-John Shorger has been
paying marked attention to Miss De Smythe
one OF the bellies of Texarkana. He has come
very near proposing several times but did not
dare risk 1t for fear she might refuse to amaga-
while escorting her home from church, He said.
Miss De Smythe, If there is anything in the
world dislike it Is to have young lady refuse
me. wish you would tell me If you would saw
| yes I'm case were to ask your hand in mar.
riage. she suggested that he try. it, but he
] could see his way more clearly.-1exas SVfinos.