The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-03-26
THE MERRY SlDEI
Gallipolis is moving for natural gas.
The unnatural article is becoming stale.

Gallipnlis is moving for natural gas
The unnatural article is becoming stale.
The floor instructor in the Gallipolis
rink is lady named Groans. Could there
be anything more appropriate?
A Gallipolis man aged &c. is practicing
on roller skates. He expects to travel
"the Golden Streets" on rollers, in few
days.
The Clermont Courier says the birth of
illegitimate children is epidemic in that
County. They are trying the law as a
disinfectant.
The latest from the grounding is that
he attempted to emerge from his hole,
after the six weeks had expired, and froze
to death.
We learn through the Waverly Watch
man that public Improvements are still
going on in Waverly-Henry Lorbach has
a new bar.
A commander of the salvation Army
at North Adams, Mass, has been arrested
as thief. But this is not the first time
salvation has reached the thief.
The Gallipolis Journal says Judge Sib-
ley says the Journal is the best lacal news
paper in Southern Ohio" But the Judges
decision is already reversed.
"n"
Carl Schurz says "Cleveland has more
brains than Blaine" But Cleveland is in,
and Blaine is out, and Carl wants to get
in. That is the basis of his opinion.
An exchange says "the M. E. Church is
distributing Mission jugs" All, now
you're ON the right track to bring in the
heathen-both civilized and uncivilized.
Bro. Ed. Wilson, of Ironton took sum-
bragg" at Portsmouth man on Il S. V.
Railway train-but the Portsmouth man
took "a silk "umbrella" from Wilson.
"."
The lawyers at the Ironton bar are said
to be beardless, youthful looking set of
young men. Possibly they may be older,
though, before they are called ON to man.
age cases.
Miss Cleveland, mistress of the White
House will have no tippling in that estab-
lishment. Cutting off the offices and the
drinks, what is there left about Washing
ton for the Democratic ofice-seeker?
~.+
Jones, of the Waverly Watchman COM
plains that McF arland, of the Portsmouth
Tribune calls him san unmitigated liar" "
That's wrong. Jones is not without nit
igation-he's good fellow.
+*+
Phil. Thompson, of Kentucky, killed a
man short time ago by shooting him
with revolver. But when Phil. marched
on President Cleveland and demanded an
office, he found there was much quicker
way of killing men off.
William Hodge, convict, was dis
charged from the Indiana Penitentiary
last week, and Immediately proceeded to
celebrate the event by getting drunk and
freezing to death-actually drank fire un-
til he froze.
-
Kentucky has come before Cleveland
with the arguments Of Democracy and
and whisky, but the President has turned
his back on them, every time. Kentucky
wants to know what she's getting out of
this victory. Silence is the only answer.
-.+
"Up in Jackson, o., when they get tired
nf killing p.ah nt her thQV rl.t drupk and
fall off of trains.-G0li&pOliS Journal.
We never could do anything with these
Gallia County men who come over here.
They never saw a Railroad until quite re-
Gently, and of course cannot tell how to
stick on the cars. The only hope is for
them to ride "a-straddle" of the bumper.
Our young friend Elmer Trussell, of
Pomeroy, Is advocating Railroad from
that place, connecting with our o. s. at
Wellston or Jackson. Speaking of this
town, he says:
''It is also noted for being the home of
Davis Mackley, and for all inclination to
hang murderers."
When the road shall have been compile
ted. Elmer, come over and see us. Don't
let the latter half of the quotation above
deter you. Well take care of you, and we
"know the ropes"
Fred. Greiner, young German at Co
lumbus, shot and killed Maggie Selling,
last August. He is in prison at Column
bus, and declared that he would plead
guilty, and "hasten to Maggie" only it is
too cold for his friends to attend the hang
ing. He wants to be hung in warmer
weather" 1t will only be for a little
while with Fred. When he gets where he
thinks Maggie is, it will be plenty warm
for the most exacting of his friends.
They were standing at the entrance of
the mine, the dude and his lady-love.
Looking down into the dark opening, she
suddenly inquired:
"How do they get the coal out of the
mine, dear?"
"They pump it out. lover said he, look
ing toward the hosting engine.
"Ah, yes,'' said she, 1--we often heard of
them pumping out the mines, but why
are they taking those mules DOWN."
"Why-aw-they are for the men to ride
out o71!"
And they both went away happy in the
knowledge they had acquired.
In recent talk with an officer who has
considerable dealings with the poor of
the County, we learned that there have