The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27


1t is said the devil makes tracks
when he hears Sam Jones.
What looks like sauce for one man
makes goose of another.
In faro, the man who coppers the
ace must settle on the spot.
The sweetest watermellons grow in
some other fellows patch.
| notice that an amateur fisherman
can tell just as big a lie as profes.
sional.
Oscar Wilde is poppy" at last,
and feels "iust as happy as big sun
flower"
Don't go to the Hot Springs; you
are liable to get yourself in hot water,
1t is better to have one hand on q
postofice than both eyes on foreign
mission.
Boarding house keepers should new
er set an old hen at the head Of the ta-
BILE.
The pretty girl behind a calico
counter in fashionable dry goods
store is real print-sis of the realm.
The joke which originally started
out light and airy as a humming bird
often becomes a turky buzzard in
print.
The weather is so hot in Washing
ton that number Of men there can
not realize that they have been left
out in the cold.
A raw onion chewed slowly and
swallowed without undue haste will
destroy the odor of ice cream from the
breath.
A tailor is the only man who dare
give his best customers fits, and, by
cutting ways show that he has meas
ured them up.
Fresh watermelons are an excellent
cholera preventive. The person who
dies from the effects Of eating them
will never have the cholera.
"Moire antique sashes six or eight
inches wide are becoming more popu-
lar" but they should not be worn by
the more antique ladies.
"Are they it?" eagerly queries the
headline OF a ubiquitous advertise
ment. If the advertiser means the
battles OF the Revolution we unhesita-
tatingly reply they are They were
fit some time ago.
1t is said noman made an impromp,
tn speech with which he was entirely
satisfied. The best way to make an
limproptu speech, and not feel bad
about it afterward, is to get somebody
else to do it for you.
Scientists are at loggerheads as to
whether the sponge is an animal or a
vegetable, most of them inclining tc
the belief that it is animal. We beg
to differ with them. A beat is always
asponge, but then, again, is beat an
animal or vegetable.
| No, Themistocles, no there is not
necessarily anything wrong with Mrs
Ella Wheeler Wilcox's upper story
lust because she writes her poetry in
the attic Of her hnuse. Attic verse
has always been classical and an eyi
dence of the highest culture.
A writer on singing says tepid baths
improve the voice. We infer that the
warbler who occasionally visits thil
town in company with an asthmatiC
accordion has not taken a tepid bath
since he was born--nor any other kind
of bath, Judging from his appearance.
"Does your husband go to the lodge
Mrs. Gibberick?"
"Well, he just don't. broke uI
that little game quite awhile ago"
"Why, how in the world did you d.
it?"
whenever he started for the lodg'
went with him as far as the skat
ing rink, and told him TO call fo
me on his way home. It only tool
few doses 10 cure him."
i A gentleman walking down Austir
avenue, behind two shabbily dressed
women, overheard the following con
versation -
"Do you see that young lady will
the straw hat on, in that carriage will
the old gentleman with big mus
tache?"
eyes, / see them"
"Well, that's my daughter
"You don'tsay SO? Are they mai
ried"
"He is, but she isn't"
----ep@~o---
Legal Lere.
Kosciusko Murphy recently passet
Tl.e : -