Wichita daily eagle., 1885-02-21

ON A STREET CAR.
some INTERESTING INFORMATION
FROM. THE CONDUCTOR.
The Texas siftIngs Man Conyerses with a
Scion of the Montmorencies-Un-
becoming Behavior of New
York's Effete Aristocrats.
ALEX Z. Sweet in Texas sif,ings.

ALEX Z. Sweet in Texas Siftina,sl
\ great deal of interesting information
can be obtained from street car conductors.
There Is, if he has not been bounced during
the last few days, a very communicative
conductor on Third avenue car. II pass
enger were TO travel on his car for few
days and listen to all he said, he could not
help absorbing great amount of valuable
knowledge about men and things. got on
his car at the Cooper institute The car was
not crowded precisely. There was no
body III except one man, but neverthe-
les, there was more room on the car
platform than there was inside of the car
lie was a shabbily dressed man who looked
as if h. might be a laborer, and he was hold
ing mysterious parcel, which undoubtedly
contained hmburger cheese. Not having a
cold, went out on the rear platform Some
! repairs were being made, and the streets
were being taken mp. There was a fearful
smell Of sewer gas, bat | noticed that none
Of tie sewer gas aroma ventured inside of
that car. stood on the rear platform along
with tie conductor AMI the sewer gas. and
We conyersed.
Il suppose some very queer people travel
on the New York street cars,'
We'll, / should say 50. | ha We more trouble
with the New York aristocracy than with
anybody else. NOW by right, | ought to be
in sympathy with tho aristocracy, but I'm
not. Properly speaking Pm duke myself
| q, you needn't smile. Ii il hadn't been for
the French revolution, instead of pulling
! this strap, ID b. wearing dukely coronet
/ right now
! You don't say so?7
Fare, if you please continued the scion
Of nobility, a fat woman got on the car
! Yes, am n scion. a French dukely fam
/ lily might claim me for a scion if it hadn't
/ been exterm.nated. Nv real name is DeMont-
/ morenci, bu / changed it 10 Smith. We
/ .ost everything during the French revolu.
/ ton. All M ancestors except myself were
/ beheaded. But, rs ! was saying, I'm down
on aristocrats Ever since I've seen the way
aristocrats behave here in New York I've
sDurei on them
w nat do they dor
They are no good. One day last week a
( lady dressed in silks and satins, and wearing
diamonds, got on the car. She did not offer
10 pay her fare. I've paid my fare saws
she, very naughty. ! said that she was
liar, 50 she handed out u nickel You
wouldn't believe that women dressed like
that would try 30 pass OH lead nickel on a
poor street car conductor, but that's what
she did. Sh, did not succeed. however |
don't have t. look at lead nickels to detect
them. | car tsll by the feel of them II you
wet your thumb, good money will stick 10 it
Like bad mon bad money is slippery. Her
nickel was slippery, 50 / told her To keep it
and drop If in the plate at church. Then She
gave ME a good nickel. | was glad when
she left the car was afraid she would
pick my pocket. Now if we had monarchy
AMI that kind Of woman happened to be a
queen what a hard tim. OF it We Conductors
would have.'
do the dudes ride much on the carr
Not much, but there was ono on this car
yesterday. He acted as if he owned the car
He was dressed in the height of the fashion
There was an old woman in the corner Of the
car. She poorly dressed and had "A
black eye She looked as if she was on the
shady side of century. Well. a. sure as
am descen lei from the Montmorencies, that
dude made the OLD lady get up and stand,
while he took her nice comfortable seat in
the corner When | rem onstratei with him
he said lie had right to take her seat as she
was his great grandmother, aud so she was
Now, Just Suppose a fellow like that should
happen to tie born king | have no use for
people who dress fit 10 kill and who scent
themselves up with cologne. I'm a COM
munist / have got ducal blood in my veins.
!'m friend Of the workmgman'
i expect you have to look pretty sharp to
avoid being cheated | remarked
Yes, a New York conductor ought 70 have !
eyes all over him, just ike a pertater'
There Is no telling how much more infor- /
NATION | might have obtained, if the work /
ing man hal not come out to stand ON the I
platform because it was sultry inside of the |
car, 50 he said. Idismounted from the car. |
and rs ] looked back / saw the working man /
picking himself and his cheese up out of the |
street, from which | inferred that Duke Do !
Montmorenci had iect ed him from the plat !
form.
The WeIi-Drcsssd Man.
The N-u,orl
The golden rule in dress is 10 keep clear of |
ax renes The wel'-irc> ed man never wears |
ara. thing striking or peculiar, and his gar
IurutS are always OF the best material. one !
at that cost so being preferable 10 two |
III At cost 81 sach-nnd the tailor's risk. it |
wlil Ic Observed. is Just the same in both |
cases We are Jound IL add however. that |
n q gentleman vino has but one suit instead /
of two cannot escape embarrassment when
II culues to senliEs lis trousers TO the shop !
foF ,ho purpose OF having the wrinkles /
pressed out Of them. The proper cut for
coat and vest is that which make, them fit |
snug around ths waist and loose over the I
ci-e~;, a- tie Polite citizen Is thus admon-
i>he. ~ every tUrn that bo viii not only
look better, but also feel better, if he stands |
straight.
The Stationery World.