Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-08-06
A TRAVELLERS TALE
rhs Joke a Man Played Upon =
Raw Country Lad
IA Alleges Csrpss ThAI Woala N0t b.
a.Fs hia1ssIg Win FropFisty whils
ks=s4g Watched Prsp@FsIssy
~ 5ariAL

Il L Lang in Judge
Did -yer tsil y9a ~ sls painfzl death
II usy old friend and Gus toner. slab. 4
OshkoshY h came g. bis end bY monkey
Ia ~ith an slnpy Finq. aRd "a very
ancom .9rtanls gay bar, never miat
that aciisnt, 1 want - relate = yarn or
his early business life. sla5 succeeded Ia
ous mess a fsllo~ @ell kaosn Ia bis part
II the country a. the rankest practical
] ksr Of the Day Hs tried his dds on
slab. bat that ks ~as ths last hs wzs
ever kaO~a - attsmpL You sse, Slab
came from the back country a very ra~
lad AMI engaged with Msm0Tiam-thas
~As ths other fellows nAlne, n Memo
rlaul-t0 10 the OH gsntisman's chores
about MS house. and - sweep out tne
shop. Que day the Old man told ; al that
Dc wanted him - sit up aud watch the
body Of a man who b al been dead two
days aud ~ao was laid out ia an empty
rom abovs the store Accordingly, At
the appointed hour, which Vas somewhere
near mldnigh the old mau's assistant
JOoz slab ap % the roon. which was dim-
~ ugntsd by single candle, and, after
charging alln On No account 90 drop asleep,
Left aim alone with the body which was
decantiy covered with a viii sheet Now,
this body - a. 40 other than that apper-
taining % L :. MemOriam, Esq, himself,
and was As thOrog- h y alive as mine 5
now Understandg W eli, the boy took
chair, pulled a book out OF his pocket, lie
a clay pipe, aud settled down eOmforta-
by for the nlghE Just before twelve
tremendous thunder storm came on with
al the trimming g Of lightning and wind.
The candle fiekered and threw fantastic
shadows about the room A tree Just
outs d. creaked ia the wind. and pro-
ject.ng brauea tapped the window from
time 70 time uneannily Ja.- as the
town clock struck twelve, the supposed
corpse groaned heavily and raised his
right arm ssiffiy above his head The boy
dIdn't faint or make a break for the door,
as MemOriam expected. No, sir, he
simply walked over aud replaced the arm,
just n dead people were in the habit OF
going throa IA such calisthenics regular
". Then the body reposed quietly until a
lash OF lightning threw a vivid blue glare
IN the room, when he grOaned
more heavily than before and raised
both arms above his head. The lad not u
bt funked, remarking only that this was
the darndest cor pse be ever heard OF,
crossed over again aud replaced the arms.
Old MemOrian was rat or puzzled over all
& b 5, but con cluded 20 try 10 again. Wait
ing until u sudden gust OF wind hal blown
out he candle, he let loose an unearthly
howl at the moment when tremendous
clap OF thunder knocked all the milk in the
uei zhborhood sour, aud sat upright, with
both arms extended wide. Slab was equal
t. the occasion he laid his pipe care
fully on the table, took oil his coat rolled
up MS sleeves, and went over to the body.
Shaking his list ia the old mans facs, he
said
See here, stiff. 80 long as you act like
a stiff llI use vou Tx, stiff, but Pm not
bound 20 respect dead man that monkeys
as you have" So saying, he fetched him
clip und n the right ear tina. made HIM
yell then taking him by the crop, he
bounced b m about the room vi orously.
Mercy walled the corpse.
NO mercy here replied Slab. IN
sweep the floor and caicinine the wells
with you. When l get through there
won't be a green spot left for OLD Memo
ram 20 take up in the morning, il he has
al the benEne in town." lamming his
head against the wall by way Of en-
phasis.
Don't, o, don't am Memoriam.
I'm rot dead.
You lie. you miserable stiff. Your
name Is Jack Saurcub and you've been
dead two days Aud he took him around
he vast aud hove him into a far corner.
Just then the assistant made hs ap-
pearance. lamp In bis hand aud "A blank
look in his pale face
For heavens sake, Slab, what have
you been doing with tne corpse he said as
he threw the light on the face os the un-
dertak-r who had tainted under rough
Treatment
Why, the Eol darned old cuss fooled
with ms until I got tired. 50 turned and
gave hIm a rafting gool licking. ex-
planned Slab I guess he'll stay dead no "
till he's plantet" "
Gent ,emen." sung out the porter, put
ting his head into the doorway az this
10 ut. Gentlemen. 4 nner i ready IN the