The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-11-26

When man is too busy to laugh he
needs avacation.- Waterloo Observer.
In diving to the bottom of pleasure,
we bring up more gravel than pearls.
Bees can predict the weather. Com
bine bee and small boy and they can
produce a squall.-BOston Post.
WHATS in name?'' a recent trav-
eler was heard to exclaim. ''Why.
about the hottest country on the globe
is Chilir'
He who is able and willing to say
''No' firmly whenever the cause Of
right requires it, will say "Yes" with q
fuller and richer meaning at all other
times.-Albdny journal.
The fact that several alleged Spirit
ualistic mediums have been exposed re-
Gently is fresh proof that the way of the
tranceguesser is hard. - philadelphia
Chr nicte- Herald.
Sincerity is like travelling in plain,
beaten road. which commonly brings n
man sooner to his journeys end than
byways, in which men often lose them
selves. Bu ie,in.
The principal reason, my son, why
those thin waters yOu get ut church
supper are called oyster fritters is be-
cause you frlttSr away SO much time
looking for the oyster. Hartford Sun
dog journal.
1T doesn't follow that you must do q
mean thing to man who has done .
mean thing to you. The old proverb
runs: because the cur has bitten me
shall bite the cur?"-N. Y. Injepsnci-
en1
Robinson (aiter long whist bout
at the club: '.t's awfully late, Brown
What will You say to your wife,
Brown Gin q whisper): ''Oh, 1 shan't
say much. you know; Good morning.
dearr or something o. that sort. She'll
say the restr'-N. y. Ledger.
In Cincinnati the restaurant-keep-
ers have a powder that they sprinkle
over small oysters. causing them To
swell; and You will often meet young
men in Boston who seem to have been
sprinkled with the same powder.-Ros-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
-"Why"' asked the school-master in
establishment, ''cant you read?' 'tNO>"
replied the farmer landlord, throwingA
hammer ut the hens to remind them
that they must get or of tine cern,-
mo; fact is did set out to learn to
read once. but when l thought that ]
should never be abe to read . ten
theusandth part of tie stuff that's writ
ten gave it up in despair. "-N T.
Times.
He Spoiled The, Surprise. -''What's
got inter dis blanse foot dis mOrni1'e
Hurts like all git sutr' 'Wa'al. if yo'
vans ter know. rs q pipe in yo' boot
-yaas, y pipe. Iput it in las' night ter
s'prise yo' DIS mornin', an yen've
gone and blundesed all ODER yo'ssf, an
put it on. an hez ter yelate De full
pa'tieklars an suckumssances Poorly
s'prise, hain't 5S'-HarYers Bazar.
-s.Who is that old daffera'' asked
new groceryAan of the Mailman. rs .
well-dressed nan went by. why. he's
one of our lsOst trusted eitiens." was
the eloquess reply. aIIow DO make
That out? He has been owing me a bill
ever since l came here" THAT'S just
how we make it out. " laughed the milk
man gracefully, and the groceryman
scratched his head till he caught on
Merchant Traveller.
"A pompous fellow was dining
with . country family. when the
lady of tho house desired the
servant to take away the dish
costaining the fowl. which word she
pronounced fool. as IS not uncommon to
Scotland. Il presume. madam. you
mean the fowl" said the prig. in q re-
proving tone. Every we'll" said the
lady. little nettled, s'be it SO. Take
away the fowl. and let the fool remain"
l-R6l,c 0pisioH.