davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07
The Only ono.

The business man Of Albany and Linn
county will rem msmber that G, w. Watts
has the only complete job Office ia the
valley south Of fSaem, His work is the
best and bis prices the lowest.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07
L. CAMPEAU, BARBER.

] have q first class assistant of 20 years
experience, and will not BE- exce.led in
hair cutting and shaying.
FOR THE LADIES,
l have the very latest styles OF hair
dressing and cleaning for ladies in which
tbs hair is cleaned in IL minutes time
leaving it perfectly clean. viii call n
residence IL desired, or do work at shop
LOUIS CAMPEAU,
Barber and Hairdressar.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07

The undersigned Is now prepared 10
furnish board at IS per week. Meals Is
cents. One horse over night, oats and
hay, so cents, hay alone 25 cents. Water
and camp ground free
w. II. FIN. LEY,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07
SAMUEL l.. YouNa S.
-
FOR SALE.

A lot oi fiae, draft driving and saddle hor-
ses Just in from Bake Oven. A span ol
blacks, I've years old, perfect match, Work
well. All for sale cheap Inquire at DEM
ocRAT office,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07
Coai OH.

Received direct from the mannfactory
over the Northern Pacific Railroad, thre'
hundred cases Evening Light coal oil, new
and fresh, nothing better the market. Fo
sale in quantities to suit wholesale or re
tail, at
| SAMUEL Il. YouEG's.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07

FolloHinx is the lis; Of letters remaining ia the Post
osise, Albany, Linn county, Oregon. Any. ssh. lass
Persons calling for these letters must give the date
which they weFe advertised
CrOwan, Daniel Chapman, LIB
Gibbs, Chas Gross Most, Rev
KibIer, VS.
]. NJ. IRVING, p. II.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07

When Baby was sick, VIC gave her cAST0RIA.
When she was . Child, she cried for cASToRIA,
When she became Miss, she clung TO CASTORIA,
When she had Children. she gassthem cASToRA
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07
sss Reward.

For the apprehension of the individual
who is not satisfied with the work and
prices at Mead's :new harness shop in Leb'
nnnn
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07

We have The best line Of 30 Gig IRA 10 town.
If YOU don't believe it, call aod see for your.
selves.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07

Farmers should remember that j ] Du.
bruille has on hand stock of ten feet bid
der whips. Call on him.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07

We brag on the Spencer butter cheese.
READ & BRowNELL.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07
HON WILLIAM CYRUS,

few with more upright, irreproachable rec
ord. aud We are glad to he able to state that
he has several sons following Ia his footsteps.
Mr. Cyrus took up mis- farm the side OF
the foothills ia lS47, when lie might have
had his choice among the best on Albany
prairie, because he preferred stock farm.
He now has over 500 acres, which he devOtes
mostly to stock, He lives at Scio most OF
the time, in order to send his younger child
rem to school His old house on the farm is
now thirty-two years old aud is well worn,
but it looks picturesque, surrounded as it is
by black and English walnut and other treep.
The famous Willalaette meridian line Just
grazes tho Cyrus barn on the east.
On our return in order to avoil severa
gates we diverted car course, our new ron
taking US through enc Of the NV aad won
derful
GAINES AND Eel LOW $ GATES,
to open which we only had to give rope
rrse.s =.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07
BUGGIEs BUGGIEs , DUGGIEs /:
1 have just received small lot of
Covered BnggIes

Bafgatns
which will be sold accordingly. II you
want nice, strong, neat rig for a little
money now Is the time to get it.
SAMUEL e. YOU'VE,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07
GAINES AND FEI Low 5 GArEs,

to open which we only had to give rope .
small jerk, and to shut it the same. Thess
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-08-07

l,IOU, against 3sOOO LOT june august She
Portland Net0s opines, will also show small
arrivals, but in September immigration mat
ters are expected to enliven up.
| A Polk county farmer who triea diversified
farming gives the result as follows Hops,
ten acres, not worth picking butter, from
ten cows, A No. quality, lao market fer 1t /;
eggs, from fifty hens, wsrth twelve and one
half cents in goods, bacon, from fifty hogs,
can't get any cash for 1t, only trade ut less
than bacon coat rye, 1900 bushels, worth
less than wheat and no market barley, 500
bushels, can only get an offer of forty live
cents, delivered in Portland-less than
!, wheat would have brought at the same place.
. Add to this dried fruit, which he always had,
but which will bring nothing this year, and
and see what diversified farming comes to-
A few days ago man was seen sitting II
chair in the door Of Hoffman & Josephl
s grocery store, in his shirt sleeves, shirt oper
in 'front.' tanning himself vigorously with 1
. straw hat with brim eleven inches wide
and as he famed himself he gAzed mp earn
estly towards the top of the door facing
!, | when all of sudden he shouted out IN
state of nervous excitement, "Come down
, and all will be forgiven" The bystander
: felt convinced that the man was Insane, an
= one of them approached him and asked hir
! in very mild, gentle manner what he want
; ed, when he replied that he saw the mercur
in the thermometer hanging on the facin
l. kept going up, up, up, when he thought h
i would placats it, aud induce it to moderat
II the weather.
. The Orcgonian says it is a melancholy ia
that many farmers, or their wives, can l
at more make butter than they can fly, and thi
er is the reason that the product of their churn
er called butter by courtesy, will not bring te
I'D cents per pound. while choiced dairy articl
like that from Reedvile, is retailing in I'll
ed city at thirty cents per pound. A wholess
Nv grocery house on Front street, having mo
a of this "Oregon butter" on hand the 9th
,d- day than was desirable, concluded to sh
"a. ten kegs Of il TO San Francisco provisi'
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20
The Duplicate Watch.

While De Grisy the conjurer wa,
in watchmaker's shop one day, O
gorgeously liveried servant Of one OF
the cardinals entered and asked fol
q watch that had been left for repairs
"His Eminence values this watch
at ten thousand francs" said tho
shop-keeper to De Grisy; "but g
young man offered me one of exactly
the same workmanship yesterday, foi
a tenth part of that sum-"
II would like to find that young
man," said the conjurer, quietly.
"Thers will be no difficulty" was
the reply.
In few days the duplicate Of the
Cardinals watch was the property Of
De Grisy, and he had that dignitary's
arms engraved on the back to CORES,
pond with the original. In the even.
ing he was invited to appear before
the Pope and the Papal household
During the course Of the entertain.
ment he asked for watch. and, as he
expected, the Cardinal offered that
precious time-picce which had recent
ly been undergoing repairs.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20
Why He Didn't Send It.

Mrs. Allforshow gave a party and
she was flying around among hei
guests and servants in a wild, uncer'
tain way. About II o'clock she flew
into the hall and sung out SO every
body could hear her:
"Jane, Jane, did the man say he'd
send that ice. cream on time ?"
"He said he couldn't do it, men,"
elbow long have we got to wait, I't
like to know?"
"Well, why didn't he send it?"
"Wy, mem, he said you'd have t'
pay cash, because he was tired o
sendin' things here on time and nevel
gettin' no pay"
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

"Be very careful of it, monsieur"
said his Eminence. Il prize that
watch very highly"
Does it go?" inquired De Grisy,
tapping the object referred to on the
floor. The Cardinal protested.
"Be carefu!' he exclaimed. "You
will ruin it"
l assure your Eminence that it
shall not be injured" the conjurer
coolly replied, and thcreupon he drop
ped il into mortar and pounded it
vigorously, while the owner fretted
and fumed, to the evident amusement
of the Pope.
Presently De Grisy ceased to use
the pestle, and dropped a chemical
into the mortar which produced red
blaze. The cardinal could not con-
troll his rage, and the Pope, impelled
by curiosity, approached the table
and looked into the fiery vessel. The
conjurer was improvising his trick,
and this gave him an opportunity to
slip the duplicate watch into one of
the Pope's pockets.
"Alas Your eminence's watch
has disappeared" he said to the Car
dinal, gravely, as the red glow faded
out. But can as easily cause it to
re-appear in another place as to van
ish in the mortar. / am sure it is in
the pocket of his Holiness"
The Pope felt in his pocket, and
to his own confusion and the Cardi.
nails delight, brought forth the dupli.
cate watch. The original had really
been destroyed, and the trick cost De
Grisy n thousand francs, but it made
him so famous that the temporary
loss eventually proved to be gain.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20
He Had Had Enough.

The committee Of the prison asso-
ciation examined nine prisoners at
Wcthersiicld. Among them was an
Irishman. who said that liquor was
what really brought him there, and
was sure he should keep clear Of the
law in the future, and equally sure he
should let liquor alone. The COM
mite naturally had some doubts
about it, aud Father Hughes gave
him some very good advice and eau
ton as to the temptation he would
meet. Dwelling on this he said:
"Did you ever see a cat that
wouldn't drink milk?"
II have, your reverence. said the
man. unexpectedly but decidedly.
"When was ihat?"
"when it had had enough. your
reverence" e."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20
Snnthin. Soothin' Wanted.

Father" he said, rs he raked the
last potatoe out of the hill aud rested
on his hoe.handle, "the papers say
that there is to be II rise in stocks"
"H'm."
"And Mr.. Gould says that railroad
prospects are brighter"
Him."
"And the leading financiers of the
country look for an easy money mar
ket."
"H'm. William, what Mr.. Gould
and the leading fnanciers of the
country may think is all right, but
when family has taken foriy-acrt
side-hill farm to grub living
out of, and hain't seen but five
dollars in cash in six months, il
would be more soothin' to have some
body predictin' that coon-skins will
he dollar a piece and bean souI
tickle the stomach ekal to oysters
Dig into that next hill."-Wall Stree,
News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

She was young and stylish, and one
would have thought she was just the
caper for summer girl, but her from,
elevation did not pan out similar pay
dirt. Her face was the color of red
wagon, and, being more vivid in some
places than in others, gave one tie
impression that somebody had put o
cullender over ground Of cardi
nal, and then painted the cullender's
holes with vermillion. She was walk.
ing along the Cape May beach with
Mr.. Greatheart, and, as she scratched
herself slyly with the point of her
parasol, she said:
"Mr. Greatheart, what is good for
hives ?"
And Mr.. Greatheart looked out
over the bounding main and exclaim-
ed:
"Bees, honey"
And then two porpoises rolled up
in the surf, turned over, and died.
The Hatchet.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

Young Pinkler is anything but
deep, but still he has a memory for
all slang expressions. The other day
at little social party, he mentioned
the fact that the chief clerk in the of.
fee in which he is employed had re-
signed. "And you've got the vacan.
cy. | suppose. Pinkyf" jokingly in
quired one of the boys. "Oh, yes"
sarcastically assented Pinkler. "I've
got the vacancy-in my mind" eyes,
that's SO, giggled the prettiest girl in
the room, and then. strange to say,
everybody laughed, and Pinkler says
he cant for the life of him see what
IL was that 80 aroused their merri-
ment.-Clevsland Voice.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

A Hoosier Falls lady who is prom
inent in the Methodist Episcopal
church, recently knelt in the aisle
near some boys who were laughing at
the earnestness of the Christians, and
prayed: 20 Lord, these boys think
they are awful smart, but we beseech
Thee, good Lord, to make their hearts
as soft as their heads. ."-Saratoga
Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

An American claims that the North
Pole is the site of the old garden of
Eden. Then Ewes preference for
fig leaves over sealskin is explained ;
they cost more and had to be import
ed.-Burlington Republican.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

Our own lawyer says that in a
breach of promise case, although the
lady is often described as interesting,
or good looking, or possessed of con-
siderable personal attractions, she is
still almost invariably the plaintiff
Funny Folks.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

"Yaas,' said young Smythc, 81
suppose everything created has some
use, but, 'pon me honah, it is duced
hard to believe sometimes, don't cher
know?' "Yes," she replied, looking
him over critically, "it is, indeed ~
Harvard Lampoon.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

What shall we do with our old
clothes?' asks newspaper writer
Well, we sell ours to London trades.
man who advertises himself as "sec.
ond-hand clothing purveyor to H. r.
H. the Prince of Wales" He gives
good prices. and the Prince seems to
like American styles.-Philadelphia
Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

When Mr.. Carpenter married Miss
Barber last week, not newspaper in
the land said anything about the fu-
ture race of shavers.-New York Dis
patch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

"Yes, gentlemen, certainly, of
course" said a Seventh street clothier,
eff you want pair of pants step right
into my pantry if a vest walk right
up to my vcstry, and if a coat-here,
Jacob, show this gentleman into the
coterie. This way, this way, gentle
men."-New York Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

The revival of the polka-dot sug-
gests to some people that the world
of fashion is in its dot-age.-Yonkers
Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

Ordinary astronomy teaches us the
theory of spots on the sun, but Bos-
ton astronomy teaches the theory of
specs on the Observation-Disclosures
Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

1.-TWO Years Behind the Plough
has just been published in Philadel.
phia. 1t is a narrowing story.-N'
Y. Commercial Advertiser. Oh, no.
not as furrow's we've read it.-Nor.
ristown Herald. Well take our
plough-share of that.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

"Mrs. Jones'" exclaimed Smithers,
sauntering into the breakfast room,
"the war in China has removed one
serious cause for complaint against
you" Against el" replied the
presiding matron from behind the
urn. "Yes, see the market reports
quote tea as being stronger. Boston
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

Some one wants to know if n bee
is angry when it stings. We are not
suro about the bee, but the victim is.
PHILADELPHIA Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

The man who thinks he can CON-
municate freely by telephone, is la
boring under a halloosination.-The
Judge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

1t is painful fact that the half
baked man is not rare.-Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

The proper study Of womankind is
man.-Chicago Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

When n man sees double, it is evil
dence that his glasses are too strong
for him.-Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

The clothes may make the man,
but they certainly don't make the
ballet dancer Stockton Maverick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20
Advertising Eates.

business osrcs. ono year, one dollar for ever
line.
Local Notices ton cents per line for sssh insss-
tioib
Prieas aud Tar,,a oIsI,o - III
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

A country seat-The milking stool.
The Beacon.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20
WIT AND HUM0R.

A host in himself--The inn-keeper.
Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

Eli Perkins says, II shall tell the
truth during July" and the distant
hills echo-"uly."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

Something fresh in corsets-A dude.
The Judge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-20

Something that will bear looking
into-A microscope.-Oil City Der
rick.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-03-25
With Thumb and Finger.
EChicago HERALD

The japanese dentist performs all his
operations of tooth drawing with the
thumb and fore finger of one hand, and
thus he never terrifies his patients with
an array of steel instruments. The skill
necessary to do this is only acquired by
long practice, but once it is obtained the
operator is able to extract about half
dozen teeth in thirty seconds without once
removing his fingers from the patients
mouth. The dentists education com
mences with the pulling out of pegs that
have been pressed into soft wood it ends
with the drawing of hard pegs which
have been driven into an oak plank with
a mallet 1t is said that no human jaw
can resist the delicate but powerful man
ipulation of the Japanese dentist
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-03-25
The Three RS.

When consider how very few things
there are in this world really worth know
ing, and that most of these can be picked
up In conversation; that reading, writing
and arithmetic are all that a man wants
to Start with in life, and that the largest
fortuE- have been made by men setting
out witnIno other equipment, l can't be
heve that 1t is necessary to catch child
and keep him in school all day long till
he is 10, and thereby ruin his health and
destroy his happiness, at the expense Of
the ratepayers, in order to give him a fair
chance of earning his living.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-03-25
ROYAL HAWAIIAN HOTEL.
JOSEPH TILDEN
Manager.

The Royal Hawaiian Hotel of the leading architectural
Honolulu The grounds which it stands comprise
square about fronting Hotel Street This
large affords ample for lawn and beautiful walks which
arcay with Towering plants and tropical
There twelve cottages within this charming enclosure all
The Hotel cottages afford
The Hotel contains the
billiard hall in the city, Also rcass bar well stocked with
inc wines and liquors.
The main entrance the second floor the right Of which
elegantly furnished leads from the
hall the dningroom These apartments to broad
verandas magnificent the Nuuanu Mountains be
through the wealth of tropical foliage that surrounds the
balconies.
The fare dispensed Affords and frstcass
respects supplied with water from
well the The Clerks office furnished with
Telephone by with the leading bust
Of the city.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-03-25
HONOLULU HAWAIIAN ISLANDS, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25, 1885
Nseo-
wai1 of a Card-writer.

Il am $3.50 out this year, said well
known writer of New Years visiting
cards who occupies portion of the en-
trance to one Of the Broadway hotels.
How do you account for it?"
"There has been no falling off in the
number of cards written, he continued.
II have executed quite as many as in
previous years, but people won't buy
good cards now. Times are hard and
money is short Where formerly sold
half a dozen packs of the best fringed and
fancy cards don't sell more sthan one
now. All the run this year has been upon
plain white cards, and the more expensive
cards have been left on my hands.
Pointing to a pile of handsomely
fringed cards, many of exquisite design,
the card-writer continued: "Those are a
dead loss to me. Last year they would
have all been sold, but now people can't
afford to pay for them. I am off to New
Orleans to the exposition in few days
and shall return to my old stand at Coney
island in the summer
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-03-25
The Pug of the Period.
New York SUM-

The pug of the passing moment must
be of delicate fawn color, with black
mask extending to line just above the
eyes, black lips, and one or two black
moles on the sides of its face 1t must
carry it's head up when in action, and its
tail well curled over its back, to right or
left, according to sex. 1t may have
little, but only a little, smut on its head,
down the spine to the tip of the tail, and
may have a slightly smutted saddle, but
no smut on the rest of its body, 1t must
wear a cloak of Napoleon blue tricot
cloth, lined and bound with red, and a
harness never a collar of yellow leather
decorated with silver, gilt, or steel bosses
and sleigh bells, and lined with pink 5d-out
red cloth. 1t should wear yellow, red,
or blue ribbon bow on its left shoulder.
Its ears should not be cropped, and it
should not weigh over fifteen nor under
seven pounds.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-03-25
An Ex-GOvernOr's Tobacco Account.

Ex-Governor Catlin, of Connecticut
has been considering the cost of smoking.
Having smoked sixty-seven years and at
tanned the ripe age of SO, the old gentle
man naturally jumped to the conclusion
that he haG smoked up quite a snug sum
of money. Going over his old account
books he footed up his tobacco expendi-
lures at per cent compound interest.
To his surprise he found that his habit had
cost him $500, 900. These figures horri-
fed the governor, but in view of his great
age and the enjoyment he derives from a
good cigar he could not make up his
mind to swear off He offers his case,
however as a terrible example to the ris-
ing generation.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-03-25
G.. BIRKS & CO..
53 HIGH STREET.
PecIEhan. London, y. Z.
Colonial Merchants.

Indents executed for all kinds of English
and Continental Goods, against Bank
Credits or Produce. facilities for drawing
against the latter. Agencies accepted at %
per cent on net amount of manufacturer S
invoices, including cash discounts varying
from L to per cent. Purchases in i'm
or ter's own name.
Twenty years buying experience for
export.
Reference: Continental Bank 70 Lombard
Street, E. c. 465ap2