The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-12-10
HUMOR.


other object. Pretsers Weekly.
THE skim-milk dealer hopes that
cream-may -shun viii be popular
Whitehall Times.
A MANS memory is most apt to fail
him when his wife has him under ag-
oressiye REORGANIZATION Fall RiUer
Adudnce.
HIGHWAY robbery is said to be
almost unknown in England, though
the hotel waiter is still having things
his own way over there. Chicago
Ledger.
A SCIENTIST now declares that the
tin of the nose is the home of the soul.
If this is the case it is the tip of the
elbow that gives color to it.-Mora-
thon Independent.
IT is claimed by the proprietors of
new hair remedy that the race OF bald
heads will entirely disappear. We can
not see how this can be unless the nos
trum will prevent matrimony.- TerGs
Strings.
A WOMAN will cling to q man with
snakes in his boots through the most
trying adversely, but if you want to see
her lose reason and stampede in q hurry
show her mouse UNEXPECTEDLY
Chicago Ledger.
ONE business man out of every sixty
four in this country writes the name of
his own town in addressing his letters,
through observation-disclosures, and this
class gives the Dead Letter Office the
most trouble. Detroit Free Press.
SopHRoNIA: What does black eye
! indicate? 1t indicates that the man
who has it is going to say that he got
it while splitting kindling wood for his
wife, and it also indicates that he is not
going to be believed when he makes
the statement.
AN Illinois girl jumped into a well
and drowned herself because a gypsy
told her she was going to have trouble.
| That's the way with these abominable
gypsies-they spoil all the drinking
water by filing our wells full of bangs,
! bustles, and fools.-NeUmGf hide
! pendent.
A SCIENTIST has published an elab-
f, crate article on 1.-The Fuel of the Flu
ture' I he revisers have so greatly
modified the temperature of the future
that it is necessary to change the fuel eff
the future occasionally to keep up with
the spirit of advanced religious thought
and opinion. -Norristoio Herald.
A SCIENTIST says that a mouse is
more afraid of woman than a man.
We have seen some men crawling In
about a. m. with more evidence of
terror imprinted on their visage than
we ever detected on the countenance of
the most timid mouse. We say a man
is more afraid of woman than
mouse ST. Paul Herald.
INoUIsITIvE STRANGER-"Byt the way,
who is, that monkey-faced youth over
there?" Smith-"That young gentle
man. sir, is my son." Inquisitive
Stranger-~The deuce he is? Come to
look at hin. again, there is remark
able resemblance between him and you
Strange shouldn't have noticed it be-
fore. = Boston Transcript
at is sad to think" sighed the cash
Ter, as he walked into the night with
his valise in his hand and gazed upon
the massive marble bank building,
sad to think that / must leave that
noble structure behind me. But / must
do so. / cannot take it with me-"
And dropping a tear he gripped his
valise with a tighter grip and hurried
off to catch the Montreal train. --.Boston
| Courier.
WHO is HE? Ell?
Behold him rs he walks the streets,
With head erect,
Saluted by the boys he meets
With great respect.
His large blue eyes with pride aglow
He seems master spirit, though
His feet are bare.
How jauntily his hat he wears
The back pulled down,
Although some tufts of reddish hair
Peep through the crown?
Now who may be this lordly bub2
Your ear incline:
He's captain Of the champion club
The small boys mine"
--Bostos' Courier.
HAVE heard good story of an old
settler in tins region who had never
killed deer, but was fortunate enough
to entrap one in a snare. "Now," said
he to his wife, "I'll have it to say that
I've killed one deer So he tied rope
about the ANNALS horns and fastened
it to tree. Carefully loading his big
bored rifle, he stepped off few yards
and aimed deliberately at the bucks
head. Bang went the gun. the dust
flew from the rope, and the deer
bounded off, free and unfettered, to en-
JOY the pleasures of his haunts in the
green wood. The bullet had cut the
rope in twain -Valdosta co. Times.
Dog Towns.