Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-05-06
After the Lodges Secrets.
SEEKING INFORMATION IN REGARD TO HER
HUSBANDS DoINGs.

Good evening, sir, said woman whose
face looked like boiled salmon, with a
pick-axe nose and a voice that sounded like
a far-away echo from the ousetops, as she
addressed young man who trent bed as he
viewed her red hair and stern visage.-
''What | wart to see you for, is to ask you
if you are an Odd Fellow-that j., do you
belong up yonder" and she nodded her head
toward building from which he had just
emerged.
He meekly replied, '1 do, madam"
"Well," said she, ''my man says he is one
of you, and want you to tell me if he is
an inside watchman, and has he been ap-
pointed for 300 nights to watch the jewels?
And do you have six meetings week? And
does he have to crawl through some of them
in the daytime, and lose days work try
ing to be noddle grand, or past grand
bugler, or some such name he tells me of?'
The young man said that she must have
been misinf0rmed, that there was something
wrong; but she interrupted him WITH
"There, you neoln't trS te play smarts.
understand all abcrt .hir 1si~ -usiness. and
silent secrecy and nsaE4- y and you
can't fool me! You wouldn't tell me any
thing for farm in Seekonk, would you? l
don't suppose you would tell me when my
husband comes home with hairpin in his
boots and lady's collar on instead of his
own, whether he'd been taking Rebekah
degree or been at surprise party? Oh, no!
you're innocent, you arer'
The young Odd Fellow ventured to re-.
mark that he did not really understand the
drift of the inquiry. Goa, no, l see it is no
use, you're all in for each other and sworn
to secrecy, and you'd say the broken ear
ring found in his pocket belonged to you,
wouldn't you? And if should ask you who
Araminta is that caught him talking to
himself about you'd say it was the '.goat"
you pretended to ride; and if should ask
you about this muttering hear of pass
order il upset 'em up and give me
another hot one,' and all that sort Of thing,
l suppose you'd say it was all connected
with your hifalutin degrees and necessary
to the order"
The young man meekly replied, as he
tried to move away, that he was in hurry;
that perhaps Brother Buckup would give
her all the necessary information; that he
could not really understand-but she caught
him up before he could finish the sentence
with t'No, you don't understand, oh, mol
You wouldn't tell me for pan of doughnuts
what kind OF laws you make that says wO-
man shan't be a daughter of Becky, merely
because she's got a wart on her nose That's
what he tells me, and then he says should
have to have medical examination, and
that the last woman in always has to wash
the dishes when they have those stufing
jubilees. Oh, yes, it's all very fine to leave
your poor wife at home on account of a
wart or sore heel, but I'm going to find
out about this business. am going to know
whether one man can hold all the offices
through the year and sit up nine nights in
the week and then tell his wife she can't be
a Rebekah, and be an inside sentiment or
whatever you call 'em, just on account of a
little thing like that. won't trouble you
any longer, as probably you want to pass
and set 'em up somewhere; but I'll watch
that chap of mine and if find there's too
much goat in it, I'll forget that I'm wo-
man if don't make his head look like a
double bumped bunion, and he'll have to
wear my washtub over it for the next three
months.' And she slid into the nearest
grocery and bought dozen pickles and a
stove lifter.-Propidence transcript.