The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-05-17

You've ARTIST displaying picture)-
This painting is entitled Jonah and
Whale"
Possible purchaser-Wherei is Jonah ?
Young artist-You notice the rather
distended appearance of the whales
stomach midway between the tail and
the neck?
Possible purchaser-Yes.
Young artist-That's Jonah.-Wicked
Exchange.
ITS NO use talking" said jeweler to
a broker. Russia will not fight"
What makes you think so?"
The telegraph companies object
to it,
why so?''
Because in the event of war their
wires will be so twisted out of shape
with Russian names that they will be
fit for nothing but barbed wire fences. T"
Ed
AN EXCHANGE notes the fact that the
English postal service, which is con-
fessedly the best in the world, scarcely
passes a year without making some
changes or improvements. So far, then,
as the American postal service follows
this precedent, we may consider that it
is approaching toward perfection. If the
department goes on making improve
ments as rapidly as it has of late, we
shall soon be abreast of our British
cousins in postal facilities.
WHEN GEN. GRANT returned from
China, says correspondent, 1 was
quite struck with the amusing account
he gave of the difficulty he had in max
ing the court officials of the middle
kingdom understand his position in
this country. They kept constantly
addressing him as the emperor of the
United States, "But am not the en-
peror," insisted Gen. Grant. 81 was
President oftthe United States, but am
out of Office now" "You are in exile
them" said one of the mandarins in
great alarm. mo, l am travelling. 1
am now on my way back to my coun
try" "Ah, then you are the emperor
still" And the moon-eyed Celestials
shook their heads and smiled family.
1t was their Chinese Idea of a joke.
The bicycle has fought its way against
all kinds of odds. a few days ago it
was announced that society had been
formed of scientific men who would
pursue their researches from the top of
wheel. Now comes the intelligence
from Essex county, Massachusetts, that
the towns of that neighborhood have
been pestered lately by burglar who
rides from town to town on bicycle
A woman was stately greeted by the man
with pistol and dark lantern, robbed
of all she had, and he was then seen to
mount his quiet machine and roll off
into the darkness. Soon the tramps
and organ-grinders will discover the
tricycle's charms and whisk from town
to town in a Jiffy.
THE FOLLOWING pretty story gives the
the Chinese legend concerning the
origin of the fan: ss0ne evening, when
the beautiful Kau 81, daughter of a
powerful Chinese mandarin, was assist
ing at the great feast of lar terms, she
was obliged to take off her mask. But
to expose her face to the eyes ofthe pro-
fame and vulgar was serious offence
against the law, so, holding the mask as
closely as possible to her features, she
rapidly f1uttered it to give herself air.
and the rapidity of the movement still
concealed her. The other ladies present,
witnessing this hardy but charming
innovation, initiated it, and at once
10000 hands were futtering 10000
masks. Thus the fan was evoked and
took the place of the masks
CORONER O'DoNNELL's morgue, says the
San Francisco Chronicle, will have to be
suppressed as public disgrace if there
are many more such exhibitions as that
made yesterday. The bodies of several
unfortunate victims were exposed 20
the public gaze in a manner that was
an open invitation to everybody who
had morbid curiosity to come and see
the horrible show. The bodies were
placed so that they could be seen by
passers-by without the trouble of enter
ing the building, and the manner in
which each corpse was decked out with
& flowers appeared intended to stimulate
curiosity. From morning till night the
morgue was thronged with men, women
and children, several thousands in all
visited the place, and some of the fe-
male visitors having an outward APP
pearance of refinement that was belied
by their eager curiosity to feast Their
eyes on the horrible. Such wonton ex-
hibitions are brutal and demoralizing,
and should be summarily stopped.