St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-17
ALI, A MISTAKE.

ALL A MISTAKE.
They slowly approached the house, he
with sad, detected air and she with
proud, scornful look upon her fair young
lace that BODIED no good to the wedding
bells and orange flowers.
II cannot imagine, my DEAR" he said
mournfully as they gained the front door,
what has come over you so suddenly. l
should at least know my offense. SIM
ply asked you il you We're romantic,
when"
A startled look came over the girls face.
GU asked me what?" she demanded.
Il asked you if you were romantic,
and"
Forgive me! George" she exclaimed
With convulsive sob, as she threw her arms
about his neck, Il thought you asked me
II were rheumatic"
HANDICAPPED FOR CAPITAL.
Friendly Citizen(to country editor) -How
| are you getting on with the new paper?
Country EditOr-POorly, poorly. Pm
terribly handicapped for means to carry it
! on
Friendly Citizen-I can lend you 800 if
Country Editor with animation)
will?
Friendly Citizen-Yes.
Country EDITORIAL right. You lend me
800 and I'll let the paper go to thunder.
PoLITENESS IN A STREET CAR.
In Sixth avenue street car filled with
ladies ninety-pOund dude sat wedged in
one corner. At Twenty-third street a fat
| woman handsomely dressed and with
| little dog in her arms got on.
The littla dudo CT, 70 bic foot o,,d
touching his hat politely remarked face
| tiously:
Madame, will You take this seat?"
| The fat lady looked at the crevice he had
| left and thanked him pleasantly.
You are very kind, sir" she said; II
think it will just fit the dog"
And it did
| A WALL STREET DINNER.
1t is reported that a prominent Wall
street operator went into Broad street res
taurant and ordered spring lamb.
Eyes, sah," said the waiter. can do
| you want mint sauce, too sah?"
Yes, OF course. Lamb is no good with
| out mint sauce. Bring me plenty of it."
A man reaches beastly state of intoxi-
cation when he is unable to walk on his
hind legs.
LYING DOWN TOGETHER.
British Lion Ito Russian Bear)-My dear
friend, cannot | offer you part of my bed
tonight?
Russian Bear-Yes, but I must have the
middle.
ITS EFFECT STILL PRESENT.
''Death is such common occurrence in
your line of business, Mr.. Mould, " remarked
an old lady to an undertaken, shat l sup
pose the passing away, even of a friend, has
but little, if any, effect upon you?"
II don't know about that" replied Mr..
Mould, shaking his head negatively. ''Of
course I look upon it very differently now
from what did when [ first embarked in
the undertaking business, but even at this
late day, with all my years Of experience, a
death, particularlyif it is unexpected, slim
ulates me to a certain extent"
You may have observed the same fact
the less material there is about the neck of
a lady's dress the more money it is apt to
cost.
Instead of putting his best poetic feet on
paper, Lord Tennyson should put them on
some of his critics.
OUT OF SEASON.
dered raw oysters.
Presently the waiter returned with fried
oysters
81 ordered raw OYSTERS" said the Gus
toner, ''bring me raw oysters"
In about five minutes the waiter again
returned with the same fry.
''What in thunder do you mean," de-
manded the angry guest, ''by bringing me
fried oysters when / order raW?'
''W-well, tole yo how it am, boss"
said the waiter obviously. sat dis season
OBJ de yeah dem oysters Amt very fresh an
dey tastes gud deal better fried"
There is something very nOble-lOoking
about the newspaper wood-cuts of patent
medicine manufacturers. They look as If
they believed every word of the advertise
ment.
Mrs. Hayes is said to read withequanim-
ity the sneers of the newspaper men at
her husband. She seems to have as poor
opinion Of her husband as the rest of us.
ADVANTAGES OF A COUNTRY LIFE.
''My two little boys" said Boston
mother to visiting Westerner, Glove the
water, and are very fond of going in swim
ming in puris naturalibus, but"
eyes," interrupted the Western man,
call boys are fond of the water. / can't
keep my youngsters out of it, But out in
the country where 1 live they don't have to
wear any such bathing suits as you men-
toned OF course; they just strip and drop
ill.,"
1t is stated that queen bee, during the
| five wears Of her ayCtanoa laws ahOut mn