Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-23
PERKINS IN SARATOGA.
EDUCATED COLORED WATERS
AT THE FAMOUS RESORT.

Origin OF the muRWumps.
SARATOGA, Aug. 2l-Most OF the
walters OF the States are colored college
students from Howard University, Wash
ington. My waiter told me this morning
that he had finished geometry and matne-
MATES. Livy. Caesar aud Virgil In Latin
and the Anabasis in Greek.
The other day al dinner Prof Henry, OF
Harvard College, was scanning line Of
VirgiPs bexameter to illustrate the metre
tOa rich business friend who had notread
the classics.
"LonRlellow's Evangeline and NirgiPs
epics.n said the Professor, "Were written
IN the same hexameter. Now the hrst
line Of Virgil is scanned like this Ar
ma-vtrum--.'
.'why. declare" he said (hesitatlng),
1--WE forgotten the old familiar words"
''shall | i've them 10 your asked the
waiter politely.
sYout!'' asked the Professor In aston
ishment.
yes, sir" said the black man. "They
are
.Arms virumque cano, Troia qui prl-
mus ab Oris.'
"Great gunsr' exclaimed the business
millionaire. "Where did you learn Latin p
AT college, sir said the waiter.
When the rich man found out all the
poor negros requirement and ambition
and poverty, he asked MIN how much IL
cost him a year At Howard university.
at costs $3.50 a year. and PYe got three
years 10 60"
swell, here, he said. sis $500-you can
keep the change, and when You get
through come and see Nathaniel Ruggles,
in Dodge City. Kan"
A little while after this, when the poor
negro student was telling the other col
Ored men about it, the tears came IN their
eyes. "Now," be said, "boys | can study
without being hungry. God bless Ma
thaniel Rugglss," he said, showing them
the real mOney-"GOd bless the Whitest
white man in Saratoga
WIN. NJ. EvARTs' HUMoR.
Hon. William NJ Eyarts, the only man
who can be witty and not lose his dignity,
has been at the States this week. Among
other things | asked the great lawyer
about some CT tn witticisms which have
been attributed 10 him.
The best thing the newspapers said |
perpetrated," said Mr.. Evarts, Il wasn't
guilty OF at ALL"
''What was It?' | asked.
ut happened when / was Secretary OF
State. Every morning the State Depart
ment elevator came up full Of applicants
for foreign missions. One morning. when
the applicants for missions was extremely
large, Catlin, the Commercial AdCertiSeT
humorist, remarked: THAT is the LARGEST
collection tor foreign missions you've had
yet" The newspapers attributed the
saying to me, but II was really Catlin's
WITT
~After that you sent poor Catlin out of
the country, didn't you"'
lob, no. / rewarded him by making
him Consul at Glasgow, and afterwards
promoted him."
Speaking of Mr.. Evarts' farm an at
Windsor, told HIM understood that he
raised a large quantity OF pigs for the ex-
press purpose Of sending barrels OF pig
pork to his friends.
"Ies, I'm guilty of that" said Mr..
Evarts. ''PVe been sending Bancroft pig
pork for years, and If his History of
America is successful 1t will be largely
due to my pen"
few years ago Mr.. Evarts sent his
usual barrel Of picked pig pork to Ban
croft with this letter.
DEAR BANCROFT am very glad to send
you two products OF my pen to-day-a barrel
81 picked PIC pork and eulogy on Chief jus
tce Chase. Yours, EYARTs
ADMIRAL LEROY ON THE PANAMA CANAL
Admiral Leroy, whose feet carried
Gen. Grant all over the east, said Of the
Panama canal to-day:
THE Panama canal is, and will be, an
utter failure. 1t ia grand French hum
bug, and DeLesseps has deceived himself
and then deceived the public. He ought
to come out now and publicly announce
the mpracticabilitY and impossibility of
the scheme"
Capt. Eads, who is here, says he can
build his lnter-oceanic railway and carry
steamships across the Isthmus for 81 30
per ton.
'What would your ship railroad cost?o
] asked.
1T would cost S75OOOOOO, and it will
pay net profit OF $40, 100000 per year.
The New York Central moves ton OF
freight at three mills per mile. We can
move ships at one mill a ton per mile.
The ship canal would cost $500, 000, 600.
Our road bed Will be nifty feet wide. 1t
will be built. We have spent 100000 on
surveys already"
ROUND LAKE CAMP MEETING.
About twelve miles from Saratoga is the
famous Round Lake Camp Ground. The
saints OF Saratoga and the sinners Of the
camp-meeting spend half OF their time
passing to and fro. The other night they
had an experience meeting over there.
A long, lank fisherman from Saratoga
lake, but recently converted, was present.
When the clergyman called on him 10 mar
rate bis experience, be soiemnly arose
and said
brothers and sisters: ] am glad I've
experienced religion. / amt ashamed OF
IL. l Amt got much edikatiOn, aud don't
know how TO tell you how 1 feel, and
and lhesitatesl and Pm proud, bretherin
tO-to-but the best way | can say IL Is, |
nint that miserable, lazy, lying sOn-of-
a-gun was three days ago"
STUPIDITY OF THE IGNORANT RICH.
The ignorant rich people OF Saratoga.
who speak bad grammar and can't see
through "A Joke are still called shoddy.
The air Ia full OF them. They 20 buzzing
around from one Worth dress 10 anothe
pushing for Introduction and utfering the
filllest parodles on thought. When peo-
pie OF genius make a witty remark they
never see the point, when bhey try 10 re.
peat wit they invariably blunder 20 as Ia
leave out tue point. TO ILLUSTRATED
Yesterday two very gifted gentlemen
we're banierinR each other on the balcony
n the > ates. One said:
"Now, Mayor, why don't you get mar.
rledE You are flch and accomplished
fou could marry any one you pleaseu
yes said the Mayor, with a twinkle
in his eye. 81 suppose / could marry any
one pleaae-but lhe trouble is TO please
them"
OF course the brains In the group saw
the point, but Que old shOddy drOmedary
this morning, was telling every rich and
shoddy woman In the hotel that he didn'i
fifU tho fuuVrp hanuFua "a tuua att.s d.