Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-03-20
A BONE OF CONTENTION.

~ A'S4Nh VI OO1N LLN I1OII
The first baby is not generally supposed
to be bone of contention. On the con-
trary, 1t is, as rule, considered a bond
OF union between its parents. Strange,
however, to say, this was not the case
with Captain Grant, of the -th Hussars
and his wife. Indeed it nearly caused an
estrangement, and it certainly had to
answer for the only quarrel they ever
had.
There is no doubt that when the in
fant first made its appearance, Jack
Grant was as fond and proud father as
could be found in the United Kingdom.
lie tried to see the numerous likenesses
to various relatives which his wife saw in
the irson; he persuaded himself he felt
highly flattered when she declared she
saw In the somewhat plain infant strong
! look of himself; and finally wound him
self up to such pitch of enthusiasm, he
actually made an awkward attempt to
hold the child, and even impressed a
fatherly kiss on its small, mottled, red
face.
This was a very happy state of affairs
SO long as it lasted, but unfortunately a
change was soon to be observed. Cap
tain Grant began to wish his wife could
find some other subject on which to ex-
erclsc her conversational powers than
1.-THE baby" he also commenced to Won
der if it was necessary to talk to the child
IN the senseless and extremely odd style
whIab cbn ou1 fho IL j
when they addressed it.
At last he was obliged to confess to
himself that, unnatural as it seemed, he
occasionally found his boy, in spite of
his numerous perfections, a decided bore.
You see," he confded to his chum,
jim Reeves, "a fellow gets so deuced
sick of hearing nothing but agoo-and-
! agoo- and bubble bubble bubble, which
is the way my wife and the nurse always
speak to the poor little brat. l can't
get the idiotic rubbish out of my head {;
and upon my word, when some of the fel-
lows the other day at the mess were
talking of the new regulations that have
just come out, and asked me what |
thought of them, was as near as posi-
BILE making consummate ass of myself
before them all, by answering, 'Agoo-
and-ag d-a-bubble.- bubble bubble.
l assure you l was within an ace of doing
so. If | could have little senseble con.
versation with my wife when the child
had been put to bed, it would not be so
bad, but sleeping or waking the baby
occupies all the attention. | am sup
posed to hear of the heavenly, sweet
smile that came over the brat's face
when he saw his bottle being brought to
him, or that he has managed to crawl
three more inches on the ground, or
something else that appears to me equally
unlnteresting. It's really awful rough
on fellow"
''Rather trying" remarked his friend,
sympathetically.
"Trying" repeated Jack. "That is
not the word for it. declare it makes
me so irritable sometimes feel inclined
to swear at them all round, the baby in
cluded."
Come" answered Jim, reprovinQly,
81 call that unfair. What! swear
at a helpless infant, whose only
method of retort and strongest Ian
guage for some time to come will
be 'a-goo' and 'a-bubble.' That is fight
ing upon unequal terms with ven
geance"
"Oh, if you are going to chaff me I'll
shut up, !" replied Jack, testify. 81 only
wish you were bothered by the same sort
of thing, and then don't think you
would find it so amusing, saying which,
.le turned on his heel and walked awav
| in huff.
1t was in this unsatisfactory frame OF
mind regarding his firstborn, that Jack
proceeded to wend his way home one
cold winters afternoon. He had had a
hard days work, and was looking for
ward with feeling of relief to chat
with his wife and cigar before dinner.
True, his mind was somewhat disturbed
by the thought that it was possible the
tete-a-tete he anticipated might be
broken into by the presence of third
party. But he resolutely shook off this
gloomy foreboding, and walked on
5riskly toward his destination.
On arriving there and hearing his wife's
voice somewhere overhead, he called out
TO her he was home and was going to the
SulohIHB' IOoLH, where ne would DE GLAD
Of her company till it was time to dress
for dinrSr
"Yery well, DEAR" she answered,
brightly; "we'll come in minute"
"Wew said Jack to himself, "who
else is she bringing2 Surely it can't be
the child She can never mean to turn
this room, as we'll as every other in the
Souse, into a nursery. Hang it ALL that
would really be unbearable!"
If, however, he had any doubts on the
subject, they were soon to be dispelled,
for he had scarcely lit cigar before his
wife made her appearance with the baby
in her arms.
"Well," thought Jack resignedly, 81
5uppose there is nothing for it but to
grin and bear it."
"No, Jack, my dearest" exclaimed
nis. wife, gushingly, II have such a
piece of news for you. You will never
guess what it is. 1t is something almost
too delightful for words"
81 also have something to tell you,
broke in Jack, as his wife paused to take
breath, for he felt instinctively that the
important news to which his wife re-
erred has something to do with his off
apr;nrr and ha knaw that onoa that oil