South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-30
WIT AN ID HUM o Il.
"a . 3 h.

On one OF III. northern trains. re-
Gently. Mas an old lady. who evident
| iy bad never before made u railway
journey. Al er l,ek ny about her for
some time in cn;iosity, her eyes Il
lighted On the bell tine, aari she asked
the water boy; who hap ened Ia be
pas ing at The tIme, what u Mas for
That. MARIA SAID tie boy With u
twinkle ln his eyes, IL - ring the bell
when yea want i.uyiiiiug TO eat and
! PASSED on
Shortly after, the cid ,adv got down
the family umbrella. and, reaching
to lie bell line. gave u vigorous pad
y. course tie brakes were APPLIED.
| The windows were thrown u !. qies
IONS aeked, eic, the oIi lady sriing
c,.I,nl, through he confusion. Pres-
emily the c'ninc,or came rushing III:
~ Tie c.i. xcl.i,ning:
10 pnlied Ina, bell 2
81 did, re lie,i the ole. lads meelilv
We'll. what do You want 2 silapp
e.! the official inlpa'ien,ly.
Well said the oil lady, mcditn-
,i,el,. .,on can bring nc some hash ;
Tourists Gazette. "
Figures may M, lie, brt we've on
eli seen figures tina, wouldn't stand ul,.
In Th,bef Il woman MAY have four
husbands. In this country II is IL innch
AS "a woman can do To- cut WOOD or one.
She Had the Ammonia Mamma,
said little girl, Il thiLk Pve got am
mona.
You mustn't say ammonia. dear
,oL rnn-t say pneumonia
But 4 isn' new, tor 1 think | had
il Yesterday
Philadelphia papers mention a bride
who cried b!.terly because there was
not crowd in the church when her
wedding took place. She muat have
been liked p uwiuily nice.
The Woes of Bashiu! Man
You d-dont know ho~ u L bashiul
! ann he murnured. THE gals jnst
wurrit the lie outen me When !
stood ~ 10 he marr,e.i. they al! gig
= led, and when the minister asked me
/, Ill take this woman 10 he NY wed
ded wife, | si.d MAS 'pur,y eli /,
thsnke,' and when he pronounced us
man aud woman, aud SAID, 'wt.Gn
God hath joined together let 10 n:an
rip apart | broke down and hawl d
Ga! II was hoTri5!e But that's roth
Ing to what's to come, Bout ieve!i
O'Clock the o Il man sez seq be john
your rooms head % tie stairs wac
50 siieered that when | ,iled to stan
mp my leg gin way. ani TEL over
the dog aud got bit i'll three place.
waited TIL every boy'd gone - bed.
then crawled up stairs Ike spoon
tibet. was airi,id II 90 III, so | eat
on the stairs and shivercd. It's NJ
use. eZ watts got To DC. neg: go
shocked off my clothes out IL. the dark
and -iei my eyes. Then | made u
breui, tor the door. foumd the he'd
and pulled the clothes over my E,a
au' land on the trent rail Ia the
mornin' peepcd through mv fingers
To see II | could dress aud gi, away
atore she WOKE up. and ha,g me inr
pirate it | want IN he'd w.th The old
man aud woman. On, cant ~
back can't can't, and the poor
thing wep, airesh
Two children aged 6 and Years
fesrec'ively. we're overheard holding
the following Conversation:
OIdcst--Bcck What is son OF n
gnni
Youpgest--W Why Kate don't YOU
know that ?
Olde No. do sou?
Yonngest-W hy yes bullet
ICON
A very sensible physician OF great
cxperle CO once assured tue writer
lha, It vas OF no more use to argue
will ap angry woman than 10 de ate
with uori beast snOw-stOrm.
4 Young gentleman wishes 20 know
which IA prCi cr q saN on leaving "a
your z lady TREND after laic call
goodnight or od-cveuing? Never
tel. a lie, Young man, say good
inorhlrg.
Hard ON Ni-tres4: i really
cannot put up with your vorncious aI,-
petite an' longer james. WHY. even
the beasts Of iLe fell know when
they've bad cnough, bnt goa never