Bridgeton pioneer., 1885-08-13

colonel rephed: ''olr, must explain
that l stand before you in two posi-
tions, one as colonel of the regiment
and the other as an Irish .landlord!'
AS far as am concerned, l consider
the shooting good enough"
A professional athlete prints instruc-
tions chow to walk upstairs without
getting tired" Pah! Any fool can
do that if he'll only take enough time.
What the American people want to
know is how to walk up stairs at 2 A.
M. in the dark without falling down
twice, waking up the whole house, and
taking one extra step after reaching
the top. It's stepping up the step that
isn't there that shakes mans faith in
the integrity of the human organism.
Gabe Snodgrass recently applied to
the Rev. Aminidab Bledso of the Blue
Light Austin Tabernacle for some Pc
cuniary assistance. Il jess can't do
HIT" replied Parson Bledso; 81 has to
sport my pore ole mudder." But
yer pore ole mudder says yer don't do
muffin for her" "Wcll, den, ef don't
do muffin for my pore ole mudder
what's the use oh an outsider like you
trying to make me shell out?"-Ie1as
Sytimgs.
A New York Sunday-school teacher
told her pupils that when they put their
pennies into the contribution-boxs she
wanted each one to repeat Bible
verse suitable for the occasion. The
first boy dropped in his cent, saying:
1.-The Lord loveth cheerful giver"
The next boy dropped his penny into
the box, saying: ..He that giveth to the
poor lendeth to the Lord" The third
and youngest boy dropped in his PEN
ny, saying: "a fool and his money are
soon parted. "-Detr0W Journal.
1t is now claimed for the cotillion
that it is the most selfish dance known
to modern man. The skiilful leader of
a cotillion can make himself popular if
he chooses, but he can also be dictorial
and slight many of the dancers, in q
way they cannot resent, but which
wounds their susceptibilities all the
same. A cynic, who has been a look
er-on at some of the most fashionable
balls this season, says grimly: "We
do not dance any more, we romp. -
Boston Beacon.
An Englishman has patented pro-
cess OF manufacturing slippers, sandals,
and even common shoes out of paper.
Paper pulp, or papier mache, is en-
ployed for the upper, which is nodded
to the desired form and size, and a
sole is provided made of paper or
pasteboard, leather board or other
suitable paper material, which is united
TO the upper by means of cement, glue
or other adhesive material. The upper
is creased, embossed or perforated at
the instep and sides, which renders
them somewhat pliable and prevents
their cracking while in use.
When Garibaldi died Victor Hugo
sent to Caprera the characteristic mes
sage: cit is more than death; it is a
catastrophe. Frenchmen will be
tempted to repeat his own epigram
over the patriot-poet's ashes Like
the Italian hero, Victor Hugo was as
sociated in the popular mind with an
era of creative genius that has passed
away. Even if he had ceased to be
an active force either in the politics or
the literature of Europe, he was al
most the last representative of the
heroic age OF french republlcanlSm.
President Porter, of Yale, in his re-
cent lecture on law as a profession,
spoke of the studies in which a man
should excel for that profession, and also
of the power Of rapid thought and cool
ness which are necessary for the study
and practice OF law, as being two diff
ferent things. In such a country as
our own this profession is offered, he
thought, great advantages to one who
has political aspirations. The tinan-
cial and social inducements are also
strong; not that every lawyer gets rich
from the practice of law, but it opens
so many avenues by which wealth may
come. On the other hand there are
objections. The law has more than its
share of drudgery. Some of the asso-
Citations and the people with whom one
must be brought into contact are some