The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1885-04-16
REING A WOMAN.
Some of the Trials and Tribulations OF tho
Fair Sea.

Some of the Trials and Tribulstions OF tho
Fair Set.
1t is dreadful bother to be wo-
man and do the business up In good
shape. In the first place, you We got
to look well, or else you're nobody. A
man may be ever so homely anu still
be popular. Vhiskers cover up most
of his face. and if he has big mouth
nobody mistrusts it. and if he does
wrinkle bad on his forehead his friends
speak of his many cares and OF his
thoughtful disposition. and tell each
other that his wrinkles are lines OF
thought. Lines of thought. indeed.
when in all probability his forehead Is
wrinkled by the bad habit he has got
of Scowling ut his wife when the coffee
Is not strong enough
4 woman must always be in good
order Her hair must always be
frzzad and banged. as fashion de
mands, aud she must powder II She
has 4 shining skin. and she must man
age to look sweet. no matter how sour
she NAV feel: her dress must hang just
50. AMI her b pot buttons always IN
place. and her finger nails always
clean; and tia >h' mustn't WHISTLE
nor climb Iul.'e%, nor stone cats, NOT
sculd when she's mad.
She cant 90 out alone. because
ladies must be prolected; she cant go
j anywhere when it rains. because her
hair won't STAY friZZed aud she II get
mud on her pettieoatS and things; she
can't be a Free Mason. becAuS6 she
would tell their secret and everybody
would know ali about the goat ami
gridron; she cant smoke, because
that would be unfeminine; she can't
go courting, because that would be un-
Womanly. But she must get .nlarried
before sne is "a, OF everybody will feel
wronged. People will sigh over her,
and wonder why it is that men ''don't t
seem to take" and all the old maids
and widows smile and keep quiet. oh.
these smiles and these significant
| looks! They are len times more than
open ISLANDERS.
1t is terrible thing to be an old
maid. Everybody knows it is, and the
women who are married to drunken
/ husbands, and who manage to quarrel
with them six days out of seven, will
live in an agony of spirit over the single
woman and call her the poor old maid:
A woman must marry rich, or else
! she doesn't marry swell. And TO
marry ..well" is the end and aim of 3
| woman's existence, Judging from the
view which people in general take of
| this matter. Ii is eyerybody's bust
ness when 4 woman marries, i hG
whole neighborhood put their heads to-
gether and talk over the pros and cons,
| and decide whether she IS good enough
for him. There is nothing said about
his being good enough for her. And
! they criticize the shape of her nose,
and relate anecdotes how lazy her
grandfather was, and how her Aunt
( Sally used tG sell beans and butter
milk. A woman must wear No, :?
boots on Nc. 3 feet, and she must man
age to dress well on 75 cents a week.
| and she mustn't be vain; and she must
be kind to tho poor, and she must go
regularly to the sewing society meet
make tides and aprons for church
! fairs. She must be good cook. and
| must be able to ''do up" her husband S
shirts so that the Chinese washerman
would groan with envy and gnash his
! teeth with the same holy passion At
the sight of them.
| She must always have the masculine
buttons OF tho family seWed G9 so they
will never como off willis in use. and
she must keep the family hosiery so
that nobody would ever mistrust there
were holes in the stockings while they
were on. She must hold herself in
constant readiness to find everything
| her husband has loSt-and man never
knoWs where TO find anything. lie
will put his boots carefully away under
the parlor sofa, and when he has hunt.
ed for them half an hour he will sud
: denly appear to his wife with cOnnte-
nance like an avenging angel, and de-
mand what in thunder she has done
with his boots." She must shut all the
doors after her lord and naster. and
Likewise the bureau drawers. for mar,
! ried man was never known to shut !
/ drawer. 1t would be as unnatural fol
q hen to go in swimming for recrea,
: ton.
I She must 90 to bed first in cold
! neQtIer Sn AS To get The bed warm.
| firr husband. II no ho ii rise ulaG.
never asks her to do this. oh. not bnt
he sits to Just finish this piece in the
| paper and waits until she has got the
| sheets to a comfortable temperature.
| All, there are Il great many tricks IN
the trade OF living together. A woman
is expected TO take care of the baby
even after the first infanIile wonder has
multiplied into u r9und halt dozen,
And if it doubles mp with the collie or
TRIALS OF cutting teeth or the necessary
evils OF mumpS or measles and whoOp-
ing-cough and scarlet fever and rash
! and throat distemper and short sleeves
and bare legs and pins sticking into him
and too much candy and bad temper.
why her husband tells her that he
''does wish she wonld try and quiet
her baby" and he says it too AS if he
thoIght she alone was responsible for
its being in existence, and as if she
was considerably to blame for it too.
And when she has the headache no.
body thinks of minding it-a woman is
always having the headache. And ii
she is ''nerYous enough to fly nobody
shuts the door any quieter, and nobody
tucks her on the lounge with shawl
over her or coddles her to death as 4
man has to lie coddled under such cir
cumstanceS.
We might 90 on indefinitely with the
troubles of being a woman, and if there
is a man who thinks a woman has an
easy time of it, why, just let him pin
on pound of false hair and get inside
pair of corsetS. and put on pull
back overskirt, and be woman HIM
self, and see how he likes it-ReriSed