The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-10
AN UMBRELLA STORY.

hr. InOnlpSOn a. hOhucl
full Transformation-Was 1t Only
Dream?
Mr.. Thompson was in a meditatiye
and rather a revengeful mood. He had
Just purchased a new silk umbrella with
a curiously carved ivory head, and the
young man who boarded in the house
had whispered at the dinner table that
"the head on the umbrella looks just
like Thompson.
Now Mr.. Thompson is not hand
some man, nor does he lay claims to
beauty, but he hardly thought he looked
like the grotesque face carved on the
ivory umbrella handle. So he sat in
his casy-chair and stared atitvery hard.
The umbrella stood in the corner and
stared back with its beady eyes until
Mr. Thompson was startled by seeing
it wink. He rubbed his eyes very hard,
and looked again, and to his surprise
the umbrella repeated the wink. This
time Mr. Thompson could not be mis-
taken; it was wink of the most ag-
gressive character-an impudently IA
miliar wink. Mr.. Thompson shuddered
in anticipation of something unpleas-
ant about to happen; he did not exactly
know what, and he began to wonder
what it could be. The umbrella winked
again. This was more than MIR. Thomp-
son could stand.
Whom are you winking atP" he
exclaimed, angrily. You are too
familiar, sir-too familiar
.'Humph" answered the umbrella
contemptuously. You needn't be
stuck up because you own me. That
young fellow said that we look like
brothers"
''He did, chP" growled Mr.. Thomp-
son. I'D like to break you over his
head.
Now, there you CO." said the UNI
brella. THAT is the disadvantage OF
being an umbrella, You get loaned,
and lost, and broken, and can't do a
thing to protect yourself. | wish | was
man. and the umbrella sighed
deeply.
Here was a new phase of the ques-
ton, and Mr., Thompson was inter.
ested.
There are many disadvantages in
being a man." he said, in an argument
alive tone. LAS an umbrella you have
no bills to pay, no bores to avoid, NJ
impudent young men to annoy you.
You are carefully treated, and your
mission in life is beneficial one. How
many lovers you may shelter from thu
rain! Your lot is one to be envied. "
"Oh, yes; that is all very pretty il
theory: all your theories are pretty,
growled the umbrella. 1.-The troubl
IS, they haven't solid foundation O
fact. If you think it so delightful, pei
haps YOU would like to try it for awhile
You wouldn't change for anything"
Eyes, | would exclaimed Nh
Thompson, hastily.
"It's 60" shouted the umbrella
Mr. Thompson recognized the phras
as a favorite slang expression OF tn
young man who boarded in the house
| but had no time 20 think of anythin
| more, for he suddenly found himse
standing in the corner, and to his dl!
t gust he saw the umbrella sitting in tn
chair. Mr.. Thompson was compelle
to admit that there was likeness, an
9 was about to remark to that etiec
} when there was knock on the doc
the umbrella said "Come in, and Mis-
1 Angelina entered.
/ ooh, Mr.. Thompson she exclaimed
'Tve got to run around to Sixth a.
1 enue to get some tape, and it raining
4 and it is getting so late!
, Mr.. Thompson was about to answe
but the umbrella was ahead of him.
r IF you viii accept my protection,
e it said, Il should be most happy, an
e you see ! have a new umbrella" an
it glanced maliciously toward poo
y Mr.. Thompson, who suddenly rea
e lied that on account of b
il change Of shape he was unab
a to move without being carried. Mi
Angelina ran out to get her bonnet al