The Portland daily press., 1885-12-07
CAT.
TribuIations OF a Portland
Family.
A Chapter From 1.-THE Triangular So
ciety.

A Chapter From 1.-THE Triangular So7
ciety.
advance Sheets from Hoyt, Fogg s. Donham.1
The family had a cat Not that this is any
special distinction almost every family has
cat To some families cats are born, some
achieve cats, and some have cats thrust upon
them. Among the latter may be reckoned
the amiable household of which these pages
are fragmentary and imperfect record, or
more correctly, string of sketches, making
small claim to chronological order, or con-
secutiveness of dates or doings. Their cat,
alas, came to them, as, indeed, one time and
another, did many friendless and desper-
ate animal Of the genus. Households made
up principally of tender-hearted women and
children, households wherein the masculine
element is either unusually amiable, or alto
gether absent, are generally beseiged by
tramps Of all descriptions, human and feline.
And here arises question-where do all
the vagrant, homeless cats come from? AL
everybody browns the superfiuous kittens
which an inscrutable fate from time to time
adds to the family circle; almost every bad
boy stones and kills every cat he sees. all
the waste places and open cellars which mark
the sites where houses have been burned, are
half full of dead cats in various pathetic atti-
tudes; and it remains marvel to every re-
hecting mind, whence come the cats, all more
or less scampish-looking gaunt and disrepu-
table, which are always sneaking and snoop-
ing around back doors, sitting melancholy,
dingy, and hungry, on roofs and fences, or
GIVING in fho 4a Of
sleepy and ung1atefui dead-heads?
To this innumerable company of unpaid
musicians originally belonged the cat which
in the flIlness of time invaded this preyi-
ously Happy household. Nobody ever quite
knew how tbs. cat got imbedded in the fami-
iy, Once or twice she had been seen sitting
1orlorn on the doorstep, with her hands in
her 1nuff, looking up at the windows, with
an injured expression of cUuntenance (Which
being remarked upon. was at once accounted
for by Bobby, the terrible infant ofthe family,
who suggested that it had been injured in
fight, and when the door was opened, sud
denly darling away, and pretending she had
been kicked. The next anybody knew, she
was installed in the cosest corner of the
sit@ing-room lounge, and declared by Bobby,
who at once assumed proprietorship, IT, be
uncommonly particular about her eating.
After some faint opposition, Bob and the
cat carried the day. Peremptory orders
were issued, however, that if the cat was to
be a memberof the household she must forth
with wash the dust of travel from her sooty
and begrimed person, and conduct herself
like respectable family cat. She must con-
form to the wholesome rules and steady hab
its of the establishment; she must confine
herself to three regular meals day; must
content herself with the range of the house
and wood-shed, give up scrambling over
fences and ridge-poles with vagrant compan-
ions, and sleep regularly in a barrel, on some
soft straw, covered with piece of carpet.
No more open-air concerts, no more yaga-
bUndish associates. To these conditions the
cat agreed. But how did she keep her prom
ises?
Nobody was mercenary enough at the
time, to try to drive sharp bargain with the
cringing, half-starved creature, and SO no
body suggested as a condition of her adop-
ton, that she should rout the innumerable
company of mice which held nightly dane
ing-schools in the walls and ceiling of the
antiquated dwelling. And it was just as
well that this was not mentioned, since no
body ever had any reason TO suppose that
the cat would have known a mouse had she
met it, unless somebody had been by to per-
form the ceremony of introduction As for
cleanliness, she so seldom washed her face or
hands, that when, at long intervals, she set
awlkwardly about it, the whole household
was summoned to witness the operation,
which, from its unusualness, always gave.
her a cold in her head, so that she went
about sneezing all the next day or two.
Up to the time when the cat was added, it
had been united and comfortable family,
the mother and Brunette and Bob; all with
ideas of their own to be sure, and all in
clined to think her or his own idea the very
one to be acted on in any present case. But
on the whole, they agreed pretty well, and
had rather pleasant life Of it-until the
cat came.
Alas the day. 1t was found out before
long that they had all along been happier
than they knew. 1t had been possible to go
down stairs without being tripped up by
a cats tail; to leave the doors open a mo-
ment without afterward finding coai-smut-
ted quadruped asleep on the clean white pill
lows, or everything in the pantry dragged off
the plates and mussed around the floor; to
leave the dinner table for a moment I'M
guarded, without risk of loss, or gravy
deluged table cloth. But after the cat came
all this was changed. Nobody ever went
down stairs again without a stumble and a
wrestle, spasmodic grasping at the balus-
tiers and much disjointed exclamation, which,
though it certainly was not swearing surely
inf factions
body ever left door open after that, with
out at once discovering that cat either in the
milk pitcher, the butter plate, the water
pail, or the best bed; nobody ever went out
without letting her in or in, without letting
her out Every garment, cushion, chair and
lounge in the house was furred with cats
hairs. Somebody was always washing up
grease spots, or sweeping up crumbs, or
opening doors, or scolding or fretting, or get
ting up too early or going to bed toolate, be-
cause of that cat. She was always getting
under chair-rockers, or somebody's feet, or
the treade of the sewing machine; even the
stove-oven door must be studiously kept
shut, to prevent her from going in and bak-
ing herself to death. She was always hun
grily besegng the pantry, or thirstily apos-
CfOpnlZlng Ine pump Always MISSING Wnen
she was wanted and on hand when she was
not She was pretty sure to be in the sitting
room as caller was announced; and she
would frequently astonish an unsuspecting
party by getting under the open-work bam-
boo chair in which he was sitting, and claw
ing at the seat with all her might, under
pretenee of sharpening her claws, process
never altogether agreeable to the sitter, who
generally betrayed her by bouncing from the