The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-01-15
BLAzoesED WEDDINGS.
why Weddings should be Private
From, the Cbtsr:er.Jouraai.

| From the Cbur;er.Jouraal.
| Weddings are almost always regarded
by women as joyous events, and worthy
OF jubilant commemoration. The glee.
ful unanimity with which they respond
to an announcement OF O wedding, the
alacrity with which they attend IL, and
the sentimental excitement it produces
| in them, are as remarkable as they are
universal. Men, however, unless very
young, are not apt TO share their enthusi.
asm and transport on this subject. They
may want to be married-though this Is
doubtful--as much as women but they
do not feel so sure that marriage viii
bring happiness. Knowing more Of life
and human nature, particularly Of their
own, they look beyond the present; they
see the risk they understand that the
fairest prospects may be most deeply
shadowed. Women are prone to phnt
their eyes to everything but the immedi-
etc. To them, sufficient for the time Ia
it's radiant promise. The day of joyous.
ness has no tomorrow. Every marriage
ocght to be happy, therefore il will be.
Men think moro and feel less, and their
thought is, Wharfage 10 uncertain; II
not harmonious it begeta wretchednesa.
Who can predict harmonyP Who can
preclude wretchedness ?".
We hear continually OF the fine In.
stincts of woman; but they seem sadly
at fault In regard to wedlock, which
should put them Mt their beat. What
10 the use of instincts II they mislead o
woman In the most important occurrence
Of her life /; II they do not tell her whom
to accept as husband IL they can not
save her from q partial or total Wrecking
of her peace She appears to be o bet.
ter judge of man under any other cir.
cumstances than those wherein he asks
her to be his wife. It may ba thet his
offer 90 fiatters her; that tho phrase "I
love you r. 80 unsettles her intelligence
as to render her incapable Of discretion.
Whatever the cause Of her mental nhyopy,
whatever the effect Of formal proposal,
she certainly commits, at that crisia,
many and extraordinary blunders.
Cynic5 might gay that shs 10 30 anxious
to be married shat she Is not fassidious
concerning tho man. But this 10 seldom
true. Any woman can get husband, II
che trles-not, perhaps, the kind of hus.
band che wants, or ought TO have, but o
very tolerable husband, aa such creatnres
go. In view Of the feminine passion for
weddinga, woman's willingness to beeome
Vife, under unfavorable aspects, might
BE- maasurably explained by her deter1,i-
nation to add one more 10 the intermi-
nable lis!, even at the price of being
herseif o connubial martyr.
There can DO no objection to weddings,
but the majority Of brides, and all their
feminine friends and acquaintances have
an ardent prejudice In behalf of snowy,
sensational, widely trumpeted weddings,
A quiet private ceremony, to which only
few Of the nearest aud dearest are in.
yited, whore everything 10 simple aud
plain, is likely 10 be dlsapproved by
most of the gentler sex. They seem 10
think marriage incomplete, unless It be
gilded, Inflated, and, in the French sense,
exploited. They want to have grand
time, social crush, and deal Of form
and pomp, an excess Of fuss and frib-
bling. Men, generally, do not Incline to
such oatentatious frivolity, but yield to
the woman's bias 10 the matter, and her
love Of nuptial display. The fact con.
Germs them far more than ita surround.
.ha .hiag over as quickly and quietly as
with oil the tinseled Buperauities and
ehS%AShsobo thuuknOhys Auto dOcb iot
srise from delicacy or aOnsibility on their
part, although delicAcy or sensibility
might suggest It. So much preparation
and ado bores them, and they wish to be
bored 40 little 80 may be at tho outset,
possibly with o prophetic dread Of all
they may be called upon, subsequently,
TO endure. They must be acquitted of
responsibility for the noisy, spectacular
weddinge which are go common In every
Americaneity In these daye, especially
in the metEopolis.
Women are to blame for these, and it
is strange how many sensible, refined,
Uellbred vomen-ao cousidered-are
willing to lend themselves to a custom
that good sense, refinement and breeding
should never eanction. The reason is
that they sse but one side Of the thing
.hs aide Of fAsmess.rs.:zaasssssa ard .a.:sssias.
They 90 love and honor margis se 'th 4
they believe It Cal, not be too richly and
grandly celebrated. Each wedding to
them Is ideal, and they imbue Il with
the light and color Of their Imagination.
They lose sight Of the bride and groom
In the rites that are obssrved, fancying,
perhsps. that IL the rites are aplendfd
the connubial feature will be fair---that
what begins we'll, 90 they regard IL, must
emo we'll. Az women inoline to supersti.
tion they sro probably euperstitiens
about weddinga. They may hope to
concilipte the deitles that preside over
wedlock by the pomp OF les commemofa.
don. The other aide, the fitness OK un.
fitness Of the couple Tor the new condis
iion, their ten1perannental harmony or
dishGFmony, the seriousness, even solem-
nifty OF the occasion, its proper privacy,
the natural unwillingness Of q sensitive
pair TO proclaim their happiness before
they hsye had any opportunity to test it.,
none of thfs occurs 70 them. All the
finer considerations Of O blending Of
lives, of tho grave accountability as.
stunned, OF the hazard undertaken, Of the
nhmberless chances against any, single
couple setting out on 90 peri .ous q Jour.
ney are wholly. iyuored. II they were
not, who would have the temarity TO
chant peans Of VI, tory before the battle
had commenced !g' Is is. !;
Apart from all questions or the pro.
| priety of, spectacular .Weddings, how i'm.
prudent, how unsafe they are I yyVhsn
they are quiet and Informal, virtually
| privste, as they all should be, their out.
come, IL unfortunate, Il seldom noticed.
and nSver excites gsneral comment. Tho
discord, separation or divorce is regretted
by the friends Of the iiiadiuatSd "a coapid
who are spoken Of with tender pity.
There are no sharp and painful contrasts
between tha union and disDDion. The
mistake was one that could not have been
fofesesn tho disharfnoony Haa probably