The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1885-06-11
PASSlNa EVENTS.

silent: when the man is full it is diff
ferent.
The girl who is looking for place
In a church choir must have the key
to the situation.
A Pittsburgh, Mass, couple who had
been married thirty-three years werc
feceht1y divorced.
According to Wise medical practl-
toner; smoking is more likely tocause
cancers than chewing.
two tolts-one mule and one horse
were fecgntly foaled by a mare in
Yolo county, California:
A Beaver county; Pennsylvania,
baby's. name is Grover Cleveland
Thomas Hendricks Reich:
Grasshoppers are causing consider
able damage to fruit in the vineyards
of Tehama county, CALIFORNIA;:
~.Calirorui;c; tfrnit-crowers are miro
lucing negroes to be substituted ~. &C.
Cinnamon in the orchards and vine
yards.
A poet says: 'Woman is the Sunday
of Man." He probably had Eve in
his mind, as she was the beginning Of
the weak.
The war department has decided
that officers shall hot be given staff
places. On any but professional
grounds.
A t,irnip closely resembling an ele-
plant is Oh exhibition at Key West.
A man closely resembling a beat can be
seen almost anywhere.
Someone says: IA play must have
a motive" Most of them have, and
it seems to be to get people to pay
$l.5O to see 25.cent show.
The preside kissed d pretty little
girl at recent reception, and it is re-
ported that 1.-The smack of his lips
could be heard all over the east room. "
The summer has come. DO not
keep little children pehhed up indoors,
fearing fresh air will give them colds,
or the: sunshine spoil their complex
ions. Turn the rascals out:
"Noticed anything fresh tJ-date'
asked tt e :dude as he strolled into the
editorial room. "Nothing until you
dropped in," replied the editor, care
lessly, and there was no more said:
"There is one thing ] dread" re-
marked Fenderson,; ''and that. is d
premature b,irial::''.. ''Don't worry
about that" replied Fogg. "the thing
is impossible. There is no danger Of
your being buried too soon"
Street-cars in New York, Albany,
and Washington are to be moved by
compressed air. The air chambers
are under the cars, which can he run
at the rate of twenty-five miles an
hour, and can be stopped at once.
A statement recently promulgated
contains the terrifying news-to bust
ness men-that mercantile agencies
have established rule of verifying a
mans financial standing by his state
ment to the Unsuitable tax assessor.
A farmer and his wife went into a
dentists. "How much do you charge
for filling teeth?" asked tie farmer.
From So to $5.' "And for pull
ing?" ':Fifty cents:'' ''Mariar,'' he
SAID, turning to his wife, ''you'd bet
ter get it pulled"
'l've got another, my DEAR" said
Mr.. Podsnap, rushing in to supper.
swell, what is it?'' replied Mrs. Pod
snap, sharply. "Who was maid first,
Adam or Eve?' ''Why, Eve, of course,
you singleton. l heard that month
ago."
BEG your pardon, sir,'' said the
gentleman usher at the theater, "but
your seat is in the front row. s'How
did you know that?" asked the aston
ished bald headed man, "without sHe-
ing my check2'' you forget; - re.
Piled =, the b! Usher, ''that you have your
Yes" said Fogg, II like to deal
with Snip. You can always depend
on what he says, you know. He told
me that last suit of clothes I bought
of him would wear like iron. And so
it did, exactly like iron. 1t looked as
rusty as the old boy in less than three
months"
A worthy old couple, the man men,
Der of which is an invalid, have vari-
Gus attentions from kind neighbours
One day well-meaning friend sent in
bottle of disinfectant, which she
thought was needed, and calling later
to see how her proteges were getting
along she was informed that Mr.. -
had taken considerable of that medi-
cine, and it seemed to do him lots of
good.
A couple of little girls requested
permission to attend st. Paul's church,
in a neighboring city, and their moth:
er, having given her consent. was sur
prised to find her daughters at home
soon after the services began. "Why,
girls,' she exclaimed, ''what brought
you home so early?" ''Why, mother,
it is all ove1-we went to church, and
St. Paul came in his night-robes and
knelt down to say his prayers before
going to bed, and so we came home"
Instead of having lights streaming
from the diadem of the Bartholdi fig
ure in New York harbor it is now pro-
posed to have electric lights placed,
with strong retlectors, around the
foot of the statue, casting a very
strong light upon it, and thus giving
the appearance during the night of a
shining statue. Then great verti-
cal beam of light will spring from the
uplifted torch, whose light, it is CAL
culated, will strike the lower stratum
OF clouds, when any are over it, en-
abling the reflection upon them to be
seen far out at sea.
A popular New York variety actress
contrives to make an extra bit of
money in her nightly vocation by sing
ing songs in which the excellences of
the wares of various business men are
warbled forth. In an impersonation
of a tipsy dude she vocalizes extrava-
giant praise of a CERTAIN brand of wine.
In another impersonation she extols
the virtues of a certain cigarette. The
managers of the various houses in
which she has beer engaged have re-
monstrated with her in vain. AS she
is a good drawing card' she is allow
ed to have her own way.
''This talk about cholera coming is
all rubbish, sir, all rubbish, and it
doesn't scare me a cents WORTH"
snarled the first stranger. ''Nor ME,
either" rejoined the second stranger,
ttand IT. uivos rno n1oa c,,ro IN ,,,oo% a