davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-02-21

The Gossiper.
There's the girl with the smiling face,
The girl with the witching eye;
There's the girl with the stately grace,
And the girl that is modest and shy;
There's the girl with the winning air.
The girl that's reserved and cold;
There's the girl with the curly hair,
And the girl that is rather old;
There's the girl that is grand and tall
The girl with the dimpled chin;
But the girl that beats them all
Is the girl that has got the tin.
X
Prof. W D. Wilson, of UtiGa, Ia a recent
lecture on reptiles, derounces the lizard
as "a specie of the f..eathered tribe"
X, D. l oman predicts that it will be as
hlgh as ITO in the shade next summer, and
chat demand for linen busters, ice cream,
pal!nleaf fans and soda water will be made
generally, about the beginning of May.
A number of unmarried men at Mendota
have organized what they term the Merdo.
ia Bachelors Protective Association The
principal clause in the constitution Of said
society is, that it imposes penalty of $50
on each member who marries, the fine to
be spent for a banquet to be partaken of by
the surviving single members. At the III
tiatlon of each member the money Is re-
quired to be deposited with the treasurer.
What do the ladies think of this anti God.
like crowd of fellows, who ought to know
that the Bible says it is not good for man
to be aloney Especially is this true in
in such weather as this. +. s. Browne,
John Schnetz ct al, you are hereby charged
as being the originators of that society.
You should go in for free trade, not for
protection.
AS winter resort tor invalids La Sale
claims superiority over Ottawa, which is
not warranted. There is enough snow in
this city at present to last all summer and
next winter, The supply is all that could
be desired
There's snow place like home this
weather.
A wealthy Quebec widow, aged 70, mar
ried her coachman. The demand for this
class of grooms is steady and good, but
the supply is all that could be desired.
Society journals now speak of these cou-
Piles as "the bride and coachman.'
*#F
The Marseilles Register is authority for
the statement that the Morris Independent
man attends church regularly. II does
not, however, state whether he gets in the
shade of pillar and goes behind the rec.
turns when he spies the contribution box
his way.
#4*
A Chicago girl got her big toe cut off in
a bag factory last week, and sues for $1,000.
How much would foot of her be worth at
the same rate: Glass in physiology, arise
and answer.
A girl on hand, seated by your side on
the sofa, with your arm placed where it
does the most good, is worth two in a cut
ter this sort of midnight weather.
''0ne good pair OF skates for sale cheap.
Enquire at the Times office" The above
is from the Streator Times of last week.
Is it possible that Editor Hines has put
away these little playthingss Will he new
er need them more? Has he tumbled to
the racket, and is his back so bruised and
sorey
As
Roller skaters who cannot resist an incli-
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-02-21

Entered at the Post Office at Otntrd, Illinois, az
Second Gas MAJ Matter.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-02-21

A wealthy Quebec widow, aged IS, mar
ried her coachman. The demand for this
class of grooms is steady and good, but
the supply is all that could be desired.
Society journals now speak of these cou
Piles as 'the bride and coachman.'
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-02-21

H. ~ yMan predicts that it will be as
hlgh as ITO in the shade next summer, and
chat demand for linen busters, ice cream,
pal!nleaf fans and soda water will be made
generally, about the beginning of May.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-02-21

Roller skaters who cannot resist an incli.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-02-21
There's the girl with the smiling face,
The girl with the witching eye;

Prof. W D. Wilson, of UtiGa, Ia a recent
lecture on reptiles, derounces the lizard
as "a specie of the feathered tribe"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-02-21

Mitch got a valentine Saturday last and
it was a daisy. He opened it with tremb
ling fingers and palpitating bosom and a
sweet blush of pleased surprise broke out
on his cheek. The valentine was mounted
with red-fringed border and had little
skewered bleeding hearts pasted in every
corner. There was genuine come-tomy
arms and. stay-there expression on the
young mans features as he viewed the
missiye of love which had lots of forget
nv. not stanzas and beautiful little cupids
that looked as though they had no time to
dress themselves. At the bottom of the
naoe traced in delicate feminine hand
were the words: There's nothing half
so sweet in life as loves young dream"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
Kept a Night Sign.
New York Star.

Over in Brooklyn the other night
we were passing through very quiet
dark street, with rows of stately
brick houses on either side of the way.
You couldn't tell one from the o.her.
They were identical in their outward
looks and there were no numbers visi-
BILE.
"Ah," said my journalistic friend,
''this is Judge Jones club night"
"Why do you make that unprovok-
ed assertlon?" l inquired.
Look at the gate under the stoop
of this house. You remark a futter-
ing scrap of linen tied to the bars
Well, that's put there by the servant
that the judge may identify his own
house when he returns home in the
small hours loaded to the muzzle."
THAT is an infallible scheme" said
|, in enthusiastic admiration of this
device.
''Infallible9" repeated the waggish
Brooklyn Journalist. Don't be so
sure of that. Wait till the thing has
stood the test of time"
And with that he deliberately united
the linen signal, and, walking two
doors down, tied it to the area gate of
another house.
why, the judge may be shot for a
burglar"
''That will be no irreparable loss.
There are fifty persons anxious to fill
his place. Officers never go begging
in Brooklyn" said the hard-hearted
lester
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
Merchant Ships in War.
New York Mail and Express.

New York Mall and Express.
Two very significant circumstances
are now presented to the people of the
United States as to the effect of great
war in Europe upon the shipping of
the countries participating in it, One
is the fact that five Russian ships are
now waiting in this port for decision
as to whether there is to be peace or
war between Great Britain and Rus
STA, and the others is that the British
men -of-war are cruising near Hamp
ton Roads, ready to intercept the Rus
sian sloop now in port at Norfolk,
where she is waiting to begin an
tack upon the British merchant feet
as soon as the Gar issues. a declara-
tion of war from Moscow. Evidently
merchant vessels of both counties
will be in peril, whatever sea they
may navigate during the war which
is now impending, and naval combats
between.cruisers serving as commerce
destroyers" will be among the most
exciting events of the conflict. There
can be no doubt that Russia can obtain
swift cruisers enough to strike des-
tructive blow at British shipping, and
if Great Britain and Russia are foolish
enough to fight, certainly we ought
not be foolish enough to permit the
opportunity to slip which war will
present for the restoration of our ship
ping. Prompt action will be required,
and the people of the United States
ought now to be considering what it
shall be.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
Art and Artists.

Receipts and expenditures of the
Brooklyn On. W Art Association
during the past year were Sc, $50. As,
with balance of $512 Sc due.
The widow of Governor Bouck, of
New York, has presented his portrait
to Schoharie county, in which he was
bern. 1t will hang IN the county
court room.
'Elain," by Mr.. Toby Rosenthal,
of San Francisco, was bought some
time ago for S., 600. 1t is said to have
been sold recently FOR S., 500.to New
York collector.
Mr.. W. W. Corcoran has decorated
the place IN Tunis where the body of
John Howard Payne lay SO long with
a seven foot stone, four feet square,
bearing a symbolical ornament of
white marble. An inscription de-
scribes who he was and where his
body was taken.
American and English artists are
largely and well represented in the
Paris salon. Among the best works
on exhibition are sea piece by Alex
ander Harrison, portraits by Healy
and Sargent, and scene on the Gam
ges by Weeks. The jury has placed
j. L, Stewards Hunt Ball" in the
sale de honneurs.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08

away. Snakes are often employed in
tropical countries as sort of domes-
tic animal. The ship chambers of
Rio de Janiero for example, have each
a boa housed among their bulky goods
to act as rat catcher; these often be-
come partially tanned, and are recruit
ed by menage-ies, in which service
they perform another utility by af-
fording an income to their owners.
Belt and other writers tell how certain
species are introduced into the houses
of Central and South Americans TO
clear them of reaches and other dis
agreeable vermin, and the same is
true of the East Indian latitudes. 1t
has even been done in more northerly
chimes, for I have a note that some
years ago garter snakes were intro
duced upon Treats island, near East
port, Me-, to kill the mice, and that
now the land is overrun with them.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
Grace at the Restaurant Table.

a clerk and his country father en-.
tered the restaurant the other evening
and took seats al a table where sat q
telegraph operator and a reporter.
The cid man bowed his head and was
about to say grace when a waiter flaw
up, singing. Il have beefsteak, cod
fish balls and bullheads. Father and
son gave their orders and the former
again bowed his head. The young
man turned the color of a blood-red
beet, and touching his arm, exclaim-
ed In low, nervous tone: Father,
it isn't customary to do that in res
taurantsi" sits customary with me
to return thanks to God wherever /
am, , said the old man. For the third
time he bowed his head, and the
journalist put back his fishbsn and
bowed his head. and there wasn't
man who heard the short and simple
prayer that didn't feel profounder
respect for the old farmer than if he
had been the president of the United
States.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
A PHYSICIANS ADVICE.

Mrs. SPENCER MCCLELLAN. Gowen, Mich,
wa-mly recommends Warmers TIPPEcANoE, the
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
He Broke EN- UD.
Danielsonyille fConn.) Transcript,

In a corner of Windham County
there lived some years ago man of
considerable wealth. He knew he
was near his death, and sent for a
lawyer to make his will. His wife
and daughter were present, and greed
lily watched the proceedings. After
most generously providing for them
the sick man directed the lawyer to
designate $500 to his aged sister, who
was needy. The wife and daughter
demonstrated angrily. Quietly the
sick man said: make it s., 600 for my
sister," Another protest from the
vultures MAKE it 81, 500, Squire"
cody said the legator. you shall
not" shouted the sweet-souled fe-
males. Make it $1,000" said the
willmaker serenely, and here the sell
fish fools concluded it was policy to
hold their tongues. The lawyer has
kept the secret for years, but some
how it has leaked out
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
GLEANISGS.

Prince Frederick, of Lichtenstein,
Germany, is dead.
]. 81. Nichols, of Lincoln, Neb.
fatally shot himself while cunning.
Fourteen hundred acres of straw
berry plants are now In bloom at Csn-
tralia. Ill.
Fried Stelberg, of Rapids City,
Rock Island county, Ill, blew out
the gas in his room al hotel
In Omaha, and was suffocated-
Miss Emily Shaw, of Minneapolis,
MINI, an artist and author OF some
rsnown, dropped dead Monday In that
city from heart disease.
Bentley T. Osborne, an old resident
of Altoona. Iowa, while under a high
state of excitement, committed suicide
by severing his jugular vein.
Christopher Harver. son of the
postmaster at Council Hill, 10 Davless
county, Ill, was one of the victims Ell
the snow-slide at Tennessee Pass,
Col.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
Just Like Men.
Chicago Herald.

"Did you ever notice." Inquired a
stock drover, ''the close resemblance
between a car load Of steers and the
human race2"
Cant say that 1 see any point of
similarity"
"Well, 1 can. I've been shipping
cattle for thirty years, and I've often
thought of it. You see, it is the bust
ness of the steers to hold each other
up-a kind of mutual help association
as it were. That's the way men ought
to be. But the dam critters crowd
and hook so that the first thing you
know one of 'em is down. Just like
the human race. An after they got
one down do they crowd one side an
give him a chance to get up2 No
stree. They proceed to walk on him
and trample HIM into sausage. That's
just the way with human critters"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
A Lad from Wisconsin.
New York Dawn.


A bright lad, claiming to be Charles
Hunter, aged Is, of Mineral Point,
Wis, came to police headquarters re-
Gently, saying he had no home The
boy told pitiful story. He said his
father died two weeks ago and his
mother one week later, and that hn
has an uncle named George Wilson
living on Wsverly street somewhere
in New York state. He was On his way
to Rochester to get work and stopped
in New York to buy pair of trousers.
Meeting a messenger boy on the street
he made known nus desire. The mes-
senger boy invited Hunter to accom-
pany him to a saloon on Greenwich
street, where dollar was spent. The
result was that Charley became in
toxicated and lay down in an ice
wagon to sleep. While in this con :
dition, he says several boys took from
his pocket SO which his mother gave
him before her death. He says he
never tasted liquor before. Matron
Webb does not put much faith in the
boys story.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
mABRIGAL.
SARAH D. HOBART.

All. sweetheart Spring, though scornful, cold ana
coy.
No longer in thy covert mayst thou hide;
I know thee by the orld's returning JOY,
By sounds of cheer In all the valleys VIDE,
Ry myriad arts the wizard winds employ
And murmuring woods where waking dryaos
bide
Coma FORTH enthroned amid the branches bare
The blackbird shrills his noisy reveille;
Faint odors float upon the signing air;
Soft-clngfng grasses clasp the barren lea;
Gently the robin croohs, THE world IS falr!
Oh shy, sweet love, come bravely forth TO me.
Thrilled by the warm kiss Of the wooing sun,
The budding naples flush with maiden shame
Along the meads where singing streamlsts run
With heavens own light the willows btaLo
afiame;
Oh sweetheart Spring no more thy lover shun
Give me the hope earth's lowliest may claim
And happy birds sing low OF rapture won
While 10 the listening earth breathe toy ma
ture.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08

At recent meeting of the Phila
delphia College of physicians there
was exhibited a collection of dried
snake poisons. They were contained
in a score or more of small glass bot
ties, and were the venoms secured
from rattlesnakes, moccasins, copper
heads, cobras, daborias and other
varieties, and are to day as virulsnt
poisons as when first drawn from the
frangs of the living reptiles. Colored
drawings were also shown represent
ing the action Of these deadly fluids
on the system of pigeons. An exhibi-
ton was also given of the sphygmo-
graph, or pulse- writer, the arm of
colered waiter being utilized. The
delicate instrument faithfully record
ed the pulsations of the subject on
smoke, blackened sheet of mica.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
A Joke on Smith.
Texas Siftings.

leNaS oiInSS
A Galveston female school teacher
was on good terms with the male
teacher in the same school. He was
in the habit of strolling into her room
during the recess and chatting with
the object of his affections. His name
was Smith. One day the lady teacher
endeavored to make the class compre-
hend the omnipreseRce of God. She
explainGd to them that God wasevery-
where.
Now, my dear children, suppose
yoa all go out of this room, except
myself. and l stay in here. Am l
alone?' said the female teacher.
NO" exclaimed one of the little
girls, "Mr. Smith will be with you"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
Why 1t Failed.
jackson lGa.N. News.

| have never had a budding tree to
plant corn by, neither do [ plant by
moon, and I always forget old Christ
mas and Good Friday. l once knew a
wealthy old gentleman of our county
that relied entirely on one poplar tree.
He forbade the planting of corn by
any of his hands until he gave the
command, at the same time to hold
themselves in readiness. The old man
looked at his tree the 18th of March.
the goth, and so on, until his neigh
bors had finished and corn was up.
the hands knew of the confidence that
existed between the tree and their
boss. So they made an Investigation,
and found that the fatal worm had
sappad that faithful poplar, and it
would bud no more. Sequel, crop
failure.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08

LYON s. HEALY, Chicago.
OLIVER DITSON Il CO.. Boston.
minnesota Farms.

40 acres on Anderson Lake, In Bloomington
township about eighty miles from the city; s.
Acres broken, 10 acres in timber, small house, a
fine place for truck or poultry farm; will eN-
change for house and lot Price, $1,000 clear II a
~ acres on Rush Lake, In town of Bloomington,
quarter mile lake 'front.' some timber; $1,000 per
acre. GA
~ acres on south shore Of Rush Lake; goot,
place for whey ard or truck farm, being on the
souta shore; SIS % per acre, 49a
80 acres within mile OF Minnetonka Mills, SUIT,
able for dairy farm; 5000 per acre. Sta
100 acres north of Mnnetonka Mills; wouli
make fine stock farm $1,000 per acre ~ a
$40 acres in Mnnetonka township; $500 per
acre. Saa
100 acres timber, within half mile % Lake Mia.
netonka; land high and dry; SIS per acre. STA
$40 acres near the village OF Long Lake, Two
miles from Hotel Lafayette; 20 acres cultivated,
8 good houses, large barn, good orchard, 40 head
of cattle, 30 hogs 10 horses, machinery. This Is
. fine property and will make an excellent stock
farm; price, $1,000 per acre. ia
100 acres within ona mile OF Medicine Lake;
$1,000 per acre. 5la
All OF the above described farms are In Henue-
pin Co, and near Minneapolis, We also sfler the
following farms:
SEQ acres within two miles OF Mankato blue
Earth Co. This is one OF the finest STOCK or dauy
farms in the n. W. Ample buildings, good wat.r
first-cldss land. Fully stocked with grade cattle
and horses.
leo acres near Marshall, Lyon Co. Mimi, good
buildings, A l.. land only $500.
10 farms in Noble Co Mimi, ranging from 50
To 400 acres each; liberal terms We have farms
In Minnesota and Dakota, all tho way from lb1
TO 5000 acres each. III you want 4 farm, stock
ranch, unimproved lands in Minnesota, Dakota,
or Montana write us stating just what you want
We handle Minneapolis property and can sVit
you In any class Of property you wish.
FARNSWORTH & N0LG0IT
Real Estate Dealers. Mix Rpolis, MINI.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
The Enterprising Cow.
From a Georgia Paper

A lady of irreproachable veracity,
who resides in Waynesboro, says, in
the following occurrence
took place in prominent merchants
back yard day or so ago: A cow,
seeing a pot of peas cooking in the
yard went up to it, lifted it off the fire
with her horn, waited until the pot
tage cooled, and then very quietly
proceeded to feast upon her fine din
mar, eating all the peas in the pot.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
Lndfea Weaknesses

Mr.. 7. n dafford OF Church Hill, Md, is so
thankful for the restoration of his wife to COM
pete health that he Is willing to certify to the
fact and manner Of her cure To Mrs. Lydia T..
PInkham. This is to certify to the grand affects
OF ysur Vegetable Compound. Ny wife was suf-
fering from a terrible disease which eeemed to
battle the skill OF the best medical men. She
was in poor, languid, depressed, nervous coBdi-
ton. We finally concluded TO try your Vegeta-
bic Compound and to our great surprise the half
Of one bottle had not been taken before there
seemed to be thorough change IN her trhole con-
dHioIt. and now to-day she Is in good health and
iDgs- T. II. Gafford and wife
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
LincOln's First United States Court
Case
Story by Carl iSchurz


Of mis- first case in the United States
Court the following story is told: He
had secured client, whose case was
found to be bad, and when he got up
to address the court, Mr.. Lincoln
spoke as follows: This is the first
case I have had in this court, and
therefore l have examired it with
great care. The only question at issue
is one of authority. J have found
innumerable presidents sustaining
the opposite side, but have not found
one in my favor. With these remarks
l submit the case" Laughter. That
a lawyer should have found himself
on the wrong side is not strange, but
that he should say so was strange In
deed. He was perhaps the only law
yer of whom this epitaph ceuld kave
been truthfully written: Here lies
Abraham Lincoln. He told the truth
when If ruined his case"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08
A Sad Case of Poisoning.

is that of any man or woman afflicted with dis
casa or arrangement of the liver, resulting in
poisonous accommodations in the blood, scrofulous
affections, Observation-Disclosures and diseases of the kid
neys, lungs or heart. These troubles can be cur
ed only by going to the primary cause. and put
ting the liver in a healthy condition. To accom-
pish this result speedily and effectually nothing
had proved itself so efficacious as DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery" which has never
failed to do the work claimed for it. and never
will.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-08

If you are suffering from general de-
bility, nervous prostration, sinking spells,
etc, supernduced by impure blood, weak
kidneys and liver, etc, do not resort to al
ceholic compounds nor use remedies that
cause too great activity OF the parts af'
fected. 1t is far more wise to use mild
alternative like DIR. Guysot1s Yellow
Dock and SarsapariIia. This rem
edy contains nothing in furious to the most
delicate constitution, aud its use gradually
builds up aud strengthens, while diuretic
and cathartic compounds tear down, wear
out and destroy.
DR.. GUYserr's YELLOW Dock AND SAR-
sAPARuLA restores impaired or lost organ
ic fun -tions to their normal condition, and
1t invariably gives satisfaction TO all who
use it.
Do not forget that any druggist will pro-
cure the remedy for you, especially when
they find you will not be persuaded to try
some other preparation on which they
make more money. You viii find its ef
feet most wonderful. YoGr old energy
will return, your natural force come back,
and you will feel altogether a new person.
full Of health, strength and vigor. For
mer invalids speak highly of the prepAra-
ton, and all acknowledge it a perfect
health restorer, especially in diseases of q
facilitating nature having tendency to
poison and thin the blood, thereby weak
ening the urinary and digestive organs,
and exhausting the brain and nervous
system.
ES-Worn sut and enfeeblSd
constitutions. suffering from dys-
pepsa, impure blood, weak kid
nsys, nervousness, ETC., CAN be
cured by using this remedy.
TAKE NO OTHER