River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-05-07
CAPTAIN BRANDY'S BET.

II an IMAM Mo- 1AOoCt L. 1Cdl blCbb VI lit6
"Picavune Bartlett was New Eng
lander. typical long-legged. Ratchet
faced, wiry-haired, keen-eyed, New
Highlander.
America" said he, bosses creation,
sir, and New England boys boss Ameri-
ca an that's fact"
Upon July 10, 1888, the "Picayune
was announced to sail from the foot of
West Tenth street for Liverpool. Upon
the preceding evening Captain Hosea
T. Bartlett was seated in the Oriental
saloon, famous house of call for skip
pers and gentry interested in shipping,
smoking a very big cheroot, and occa-
sionally slipping a John Collins" at his
elbow. He had a coutented expression
in his face. for he had a full cargo atU
full season when freight was going beg
cling, he'd shipped his crew and did not
expect to have to whistle for more than
three absentees at the hour of starting,
and he was going to see his English
wife who had settled for while in Liv-
erpool.
To him enter Captain Brandy, of the
British steamer "Cockney"
Just as the "Picayune" was famous
for her smart passages, so was the
"Cockney' celebrated as being one of the
'.slowest Of tubs on the pond" Hence
it was that American Bartlett and Brit
ish Brandy never met without exchang-
ing some lively chaff and repartee, al
though tley We're the best of friends.
Hello, Brandy! When's the old
m'lasses tub OFF," was Bartlett's greet
ing.
The British steamer COckney, Bran
d., master, sails tomorrow morning,
July 10, as ever was, replied Brandy
And dye reckon she'll make Liver
pool this side O Christmas ?' asked Bart
lett, with Il twinkle in his eve
To-day fortnit she brings up along
side O the quay" said andy.
The Yankee skipper burst into 8
scornful chuckle.
Captain Brandy called for a "Bour-
bon" leisurely lit a clay pipe, took 8
few whitfs and a sip, rested his chin on
his hands as he leaned forward, and
said:
Bartlett, you reckon yourself tol'ble
spry. don't yer?"
wall" replied the American, 81
guess | know the difference between 8
iay bird and caboose. an amt likely
to mistake the CROWN of a shanty town
cock for Hail, Columbia, and that's {
fact
"There amt nothin' as goes out of the
port of. New York as can whip the
'Picayuue, continued Brandy.
no, | reckon there amt, said Bart
lett
You wouldn't like to put a hundred
pound on a little notion of mine, would
you? q said Brandy.
'Barrin' the 'Cockney,' I don't min6
if I do, !" replied Bartlett.
That's right, said Brandy. ''Look
here: you're always a-pokin' fun at the
'Cockney.' Well, I'll bet yer hundred
pound that l see Mrs. Bartlett before
you do
you bet me a hundred pound
British. that YOU see the missis in Liver
pool before | do?" repeated Bartlett
AN the 'Cockney' sails by first tide to
morrer moruin'? %
''Thuts so, said Brandy.
'Barrin' all mail steamers?" sale
Bartlett
"Barrin all mail steamers" sale
Brandy.
Done with you, boss" said Bart
lett.
So the wager was cemented over
fresh supply Of drinks, after whicl
Captain Brandy walked out, wishin;
the American skipper Good night"
Deemed fool. that Brandy" said tn
American to himself.
IN the mists of early morning the
"Pieayune" cleared out. So did tn
"Cockney.'
Somehow or other, news of the wage
had leaked ont, and general opinion
indorsed that of Captain Bartlett, al
though others guessed that Brand
wasn't the sort to go singing ava,
G1O0 for n mere notion, and that Ii
knew what he was doing.
At seven bells-half past in tn
morning Captain Bartlett, on th
bridge Of the "Picayune," cheroot il
his mouth, and his hands plunged deel
into his pockets, sang ont to his frs
mate.
Mr.. Slope. send a hand up to tn
fore-top and report if the 'Cockney' S il
sight"
'.Ay, ay. sir, replied Mr. slope TIL
man assembled to the foretop, scanne'
the ocean for some moments, and bel
lowed out
"Cockpey' astern, sir; hull down.
"Brandy's derned fool" muttere
Cautan Bartlett, and rolled himself OF
the bridge to breakfast.
During the second dog-watch in th
evening, Captain Bartlett, reclining i
his cane chair on the bridge observed
commotion forward The first mate ant
half dozen of the crew we're assemble,
around some object. and at interval
east side chances at the skipper. Bart
lett had the eve of hawk.
Mr.. Slope, what's going on forr ard
he sang ont.
Mr.. Slope came slowly aft with tn
air of Il criminal.
Please, sir, it's stowaway."
The effect of this announcement up
en- his superior officer was terrible an,
immediate: he jumped up from hi
chair is if agitated by an electri
shock ms ewes glared like couple o
torches. his brow contracted into al
sorts of frowns and burrows; lie foame'
and spluttered, and at length roare,
out:
Chuck him overboard."
Please, sir, its she. said the chic
mate.
Chuck her-no! Great sakes
Bring her aft" roared the Captain.
SO tile mate returned to the grou
forrard. and presently returned, lead
inc by the hand fair-haired, blue-eye
child Of about eleven
Well" said Bartlett. after he ha
slowly surveyed her from head to foC
and from foot back again to head, an
noted that she was apparently of a yer
superior order Of stowaway, her clotht
being good, and her physical appear
anee that ofa child well looked aftei
"who are you?'
Mary Jane Johnsworth,' was tn
ready reply.
Mary Jane Johnsworth, : repeate
the skipper; wall. and what the tan
nal does Mary Jane Johnsworth wal
hidiu of herself aboard a craft as don
belong to her?"
Il don't know, was the answer.
Won don't know. Got father an