Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1885-12-31
HUMOROUS.

twas Rome f. mded by ROmeO?"
inquired pupil of the teacher. mo.
my son." replied the wise man. 1T
was Juliet who was found dead by
Romeo"
AT the theater: Wife-Are yod q
medium Husband-Whata ridiculous
question! Wife-Not ut all. not at all;
for you seem to have spirit call after
each sct.-Boston Budget.
-Spoodle was saying that VIII nc
was abroad he was presented at & urt.
1.-The deuce you were!" exclaimed
Fogg. "How did it happen' How
much did they fine your" 1t is
SpoOdle's opinion that Fogg is very
ignorant fellow, you knOw.-Bosion
transcript.
"A Hartford sportsman went out to
try his skill at breaking glass balls
with rifle. He reported grand sue
cess on returning to the city, saying
he broke nine of possible ten, but
didn't mention that he did it by drop
ping the basket while getting over
fence.-LarJord Courant.
The papers have much to say now
about ''.he Balkan attitude" All MULE
drivers know what that attitude is.
The animal puts his fore feet out rig
idly in advance. and his hind feet in
the rear and points to the north star
with both ears. Then he won't move
until you bald fire under him.
Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Young HighcOllar-Beastly wealth
aw, this, Miss Symphony, bah JOve!
Miss Symphony (tired You ought not
to decry the weather. no matter how
bad it may be, Mr.. Highcollar. If il
were not for the weather you would be
at loss for something to talk about.
Now take me to mamma.-N. y. Times.
If the sun rises in the East and sets
in the West, and the bullfrog sings
sans in the marshes, and thare amt
no pulling hair in the family circle,
things are about ~ near right az yu
can get them. Should there be no
dew on the grass in the morning before
sunrise. it liz an infallible prOgnOstix
there didn't emmy fall.-Josh Billings.
ma, did you know old Mr.. Slim
kins?" asked Mildred. "Yes, dear"
replied the old lady. '.He is dead
'.Now, that's too bad; / have known
him so many years" 1.-THE paper says
he was an octOgenarian.' ''Oh; no;
there must be some mistake about that.
He's been a Cumberland Presby terrain
ever since / knew him. "-PiAs1urgb
Telegraph.
THAT man is phrenologist, Pat"
"A phat?'' asked Pat, puzzled. "A
phrenologist. '.Phat's that" why,
a man that can tell BY feeling of the
bumps on your head what kind of
man you are" Bumps on me head.
is it?" exclaimed Pat. '.Begorra, then
l should think it would give him more
of an idea plat kind of Il man me wife
is!'-N f. Farmer.
"A butcher entered lawyers office
and said: '.Sir, when dog does any
damage is not his owner responsible"
Certainly" That being the case, as
your dog has just carried off a magnifi-
cent leg of mutton from my shop. you
owe me three dollars" Nothing
could be more just" replied the law
yer, ''and, fortunately, that is exactly
the price of the consultation have just
given you. So we are just even. ~.
Y. Ledger.
George" said the young wife. II
know what Santa Claus is going to
bring me Christmas. '.Do you. love.
what is it?' AN elegant sealskin
sacque, George" "You don't say
20! Well. I'm glad to hear it.
for it will save me great deal
of money" And then she went out
into the kitchen and stepped on the
cat and gave the cook e. weeks notice.
Boston Post.