The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
AT CASTLE MEASLY.
Alex. E. Sweet, in Texas Siftings.l


 Behold us all seated at the table in the banqueting hall of Castle Measly, and as hungry as wolves, owing to our prolonged fast and the bracing New York atmospheric influence. Mrs. Measly sat at the head of the table. She talked and giggled necessarily, selecting her early experience, for every once in a while heard her say: "When l was a girl" etc. Not once during the repast did she utilize her mouth for any other than conversational purposes. In front of her was vast display of dishes, cups and saucers, with nothing on them. Ia fact there was so much crockery and glassware on the table that suspected the late Mir. Measly was engaged in the crockery business, and had failed.
 At the right hand of Mrs. Measly sat her daughter. Her sombre appearance, rigid position, and immovable face made it appear impossible that she should ever have composed such joyous anthem as the Hallelujah chorus she reminded me that the ancient l. ,yptians used to place the mummies of their deceased ancestors at the table to remind the guests of i'm. mortality. Looming up half head above everybody else at the table she certainly answered the description of grand, gloomy and peculiar.
 At the lett hand of Mrs. Measly was a clergyman with a very high forehead whom at once recognized as the original of the photograph on the mantlepieCe in the parlor. There was something about him that was suggestive of Elder Stig gins, against whom the elder Weller, in the Pickwick Papers," had such an ani- mostly. By the side of the clergyman was good looking young man. He was the Columbia college student who, ac- cording to the servants statement, had attempted to swindle Mrs. Measly by re- fusing to pay for his nourishment
 All at once something very strange and unexpected occurred-Mrs. Measly stopped giggling. The silence that fol- lowed was as impressive as that noticed in ballroom when the music suddenly stops. Mrs. Measlys "darter" made a face as if she was about to sneezs, and somebody in deep, sonorous voice, said ::
 70, Lord, we implore thy blessings upon this bounteous repast spread before us. Make us unworthy sinners truly grateful for this great bounty" etc.
 The reverend gentleman was asking grace. He then went on in the same familiar strain to request the Deity that he should make all present truly grateful that we lived in this enlightened age, and in this great country, Although it was cold enough to freeze the horns off a bill,- goat, he intimated that we should be thankful for the beautiful weather for cur kind friends and benefactors, and he almost as much as said boarding with Mrs. Measly was a special cause for gratitude. After holding forth for some time in this strain, Elder Stiggins inti- mated that we were all poor worms of the dust who did not deserve anything, any, . how; and then he subsided. Strictly speaking there was nothing eatable on the table, unless it was the mustard in the castors. The temping viands were on separate table in the corner of a room, which was presided over by old Kate, the hungry looking menial. She went to the boarders one after another and put them through sort of cate- chism. She did not say: "What IS your namet Who gave you this nameS' but she did say:
 "Will yer hab fried libber or fish p
 She emphasized the word or, as much as to say that both fried liver and fish were out of the question. may remark incidentally that the fish were sal, mack erel, such as are obtained here at three cents apiece.
 "What vegetable will yer hab-brled cabbage or baked beans?'
 No restriction, however, was placed on the salt and pepper If boarder saw fit to gorge himself with salt, pepper and mustard, he could do so.
 These questions being answered, the colored menial went to the side table and brought the messes in the smallest oi saucers, and placed them before the boarders. My apprehensions that Alex would bring disgrace upon the family by his gluttony, were fully realized, for when he was asked whether he would take fried liver or fish, he glared around like a cannibal, and yelled out in loud voice
 "Both"
 The worst of it was that could no, kick him on the sly as he was too fal away. He took mean advantage e this opportunity, and asked for cabbage three times, which had most depress ing effect on Mrs. Measly. The onl, other person at the table who expressed any exception to the quality and quanti,, of food was the Columbia college student who asked Elder Sdggins: How long it would be before Lent was over," and on being told, "Not for three weeks yet groaned audibly. He did not believe ir prayer and fasting three times day.
 The substantial portion of the banque being thus disposed of by the jewellers desert was then brought on the table. | consisted entirely of oranges, the cheap est fruit in New York, thirty oranges be ing sold for quarter. As the fruit va. within easy reach, no restriction he;n; placed on the boarders, Alex took ad vantage of Mrs. Measly's lack ot caution and got away with three or four oranges for which he afterwards became dread fully disorderly. The billed cabbage did not agree with the oranges, and the, did not agree with the young german dizer, either.
 I have aluost foroottan to m mention il