The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-08-08
HI OROIS.

IT is said that the King of Takoona-
chlofknee has but one shirt. Ii is not
stated whether his paper is daily or
a weekly.
"MY dear" said Mrs. Jones at the
/ breakfast table. 81 see it costs man
in New York $4,000 to get divorce
| from Boston woman. What do you
think OF that? ?" II think it was
/ cheap" replied Jones. And the meal
was finished in silence. Mrs. Jones
was a Boston woman herself. Chicago
| Herald.
"DO you ever have a dreadful tired
feeling come over you?' asked a pat
ent medicine manufacturer OF 2. friend.
who complained of not feeling well.
"Oh yes, often" replied the friend.
"You should try bottle OF my cure
all. How often do you experience this
tired feeling?" Every time | see
your advertisement on the fences"
A MERCHANT in Providence, r. l., ad-
vertised for boy to work in his store,
and among many got the following
answer: "Want a Job. My folks aint
ritch. | have got to restle, they are
ded. Amt afraid to work. / am good
at chores. Beets - how hard times
is and | want the Job bad-let me in"
The boy got the Job Chicago Journal
pa" said Johnny Caution, "do
lawyers wear armOr?" mo; ofcourse
not. What put such an idea intoyour
head ?" "Why, | see the in papers
every day that lawyers file their suits,
and" The reader will appreciate
the delicacy which impels us to change
the conversation and not 90 out into
the woodshed with therest OF the party
-Pittsburg Chronicle.
"HOW is it, Mr. Brown said the
mlll-owner to the farmer, that when
| came to measure those five barrels
OF apples | bought from you, | found
them nearly a barrel short ?" "Singu-
lar, very singular, for | put them up
In some OF your own flour barrels .
"Ahem Did, Ell? Well, perhaps l
made mistake. Fine weather, isn't
it? Let's imbibe San Franciscan.
BANK PREsIDENT-''Your accounts
are lust $500, ,0OO.49 short Cashier
Sir, you forget the courtesy due one
bank officer from another. No bank
president has ever been known 10
discover a defalcation before the cash
ier started for Canada" Bank Presi-
dent-''That may be so. but / am de
pending upon this bank to pay my
expenses to Canada someday. ."-Puck.
"SAY, how is this? ," asked a West
ern railroad director: "The road
earned SAT 900 last year, and we paid
a dividend OF Oper cent" "Yes, " re-
piled the president, calmly This
year we earned S75, 900, and there is
deficit OF $4,000 How is this? |
don't understand it at all. ." 81 seeyou
don't" replied the president, kindly.
The deficit is to pay for the dividend
last year. ."-PUck.
THE editor OF an Omaha religious
paper remarks: eve recently hired a
colored man to beat carpet for us.
He had what seemed to us a villainous
face, and we watched him somewhat
closely, We were not surprised when
he brought in a bill OF 81. But, sir
said we, this is too much. You surely
would not cheat a preacher 'Ah,
brudder,' said he, you must remem-
Der dat Use preacher, too p"
81 UNDERSTAND that you quite dis
tinguished yourself, Browne, at the
bubble party, given by Mrs. b. last
week" ''Ya'as, was feeling right as
a trivet that night, me boy, and when
I'm pretty fit fancy | can make my
self a rather agreeable dog y'know.
Er-What did you hear, Chummy?"
II hear that you blew the biggest bub-
ble OF the evening. ."-GOOd Cheer.