The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1885-01-28

divorce eases. DON'T send me the pa
per any longer. I'll come In and pay
you what owe you when sell my to-
bacco. Good day"
And then there was light step at
the door, and person wearing severe
countenance and shawl, entered and
took the vacant chair.
81 am very sorry to notice that you
are giving in your columns so little at
attention to the cause of prohibition.
You must rouse yourself upon this great
question and give your readers apage
OF it weekly. am not subscriber of
your paper, but borrow it every week
of my neighbor. will leave you few
tracts from which you should make
liberal extracts. You will notice that
this one. Dash the Cup Away is writ
ten by myself, and you are at liberty to
print it in full. By the way, have you
few exchanges that you are done
with? All, that will do. Good day,
sir"
In the door the man in the shawl
passed gentleman with merry
twinkle in his eyes, who said;
81 like your paper, it is first rate, ex-
cept that it does not contain humor
enough. Why don't you fill it full of
jokes and bright things by the funny
fellows, and make your readers laugh?
Nobody cares IA cent for those political
and scientific articles They put me to
sleep; give us plenty of jokes to shake
mans liver up. As soon as the roads
are better | will bring in that wood for
last years paper. Ia, ta."
The next person who took the va
cant chair had countenance as solemn
as second hand hearse. He din't look
as if he had smiled more than once in
forty years, and the editor took him for
an undertaken who wanted to advertise
patent embalming process and pay in
trade.
"Sir," said the solemn an, after
silence that became painful to the edit
OF. al am grieved to notice the tone
of levity that has recently pervaded the
columns of your paper, and | am COM
PEELED to ask you on that account to
take my name off your book. You
seem to forget that this is a world Of
calamity and woe, and that spirit of
levity in the press is unseemly, and
tends to draw attention from the sol.
emn realities of life and the near prox-
unity of death. Last week you de-
clined to print my article entitled IRE
fiectiOnsO on the grave" alleging that
you did not have room for it, and then
gave up nealy u column of the paper to
frivolous jokes. do not intend to read
anything light this year That is all |
have to say. Good afternoon"
The door closed behind the solemn
man and opened softly again to admit
a dreamy eyed man with very poetic
brow and Il genera! expression that
seemed to indicate that he wanted
something he never had and never ex-
pected to have.
"l merely came to remark" he be
gan, as lie took the vacant chair, THAT
you are sadly neglecting the literary de-
partment of your paper. | not only
have noticed it myself, but several of my
friends have called my attention to it.
| don't take your paper, but my broth
er-in.law does, and borrow it of him. l
have intended for sometime to mention
this matter to you, but could never
think of it before when / was in town.
If you think these suggestions are Of
any value to you, you may send me
your paper gratuitous for year. AL
low me to bid you good day, sir"
The dreamy-eyed man went as softly
as a sixty days note falls due. A mo-
ment later another style of person drop
ped into the vacant chair, and spoke
thusly, in tones that were sharp and
quick.
81 don't think | want your paper an
other year. You are not giving your
readers enough local matter. Every
thing else should be made to give way
to local matter. A story now and then
and a bit of p ,etry to please the youns
folks who are in love, and little news
are all well enough, but if you want tt
make your paper success, you've go
to let yourself out on local matters
And, by the way, if you are little
short on local matter this week. yol
+. might say that have invented and pa
tented the most common sense churl
that has ever been introduced to tb'
! people of this State. I'll be i'm again II