The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-08-29
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Uncle Sam Only Wants Good Men for His
Regular Army.

Uncle Sam Only Wants Good Men for His
Regular Army.
''Is this where they enlist?" inquired
sallowfaced young man, stepping
into the United States army recruiting
station on West Congress Street.
Eyes. How old are you?"
"Twenty- five"
"Open your mouth" The examining
officer took firm grip on the young
mans chin and forehead and looked
lonE and earnestly into the opening
presented to him. mo, l cant take
YOU" he said, finally.
The sallow young man turned on his
heel and went out without a word.
"Three back teeth on one side gone. ="
the officer explained to a bystander.
''If he'd lost only one he might have
passed.
Another candidate for military honorq
came in few minutes later. His teeth
were found to be satisfactory and he
was introduced to the next stage of the
ordeal.
The candidate was sent to the oppo,
site end of the room and invited to look
at some cards, the spots on which at a
distance of twenty feet appeared to the
eye to be exactly the same size as a
bull 's-eye at one hundred yards. The
next test was for color blindness, after
which the victim was required to strip
himself stark naked. In this condition
~he' was weighed and his height, chest
measure, ETC., carefully noted. A bril-
liant series Of gymnastics followed.
The candidate was made to swing first
one arm and then the other, after the
fashion of windmill in a strong
breeze. He then dropped on his knees,
rose on one leg, hoped across the
room on his right foot and back on his
left, executed a standing jump, and
finally stood erect and kicked backward
three times-eaCh movement being di-
rected by the examiner. The whole
person of the man in undress was then
carefully gone over for imperfections
and evidences of disease. Naricose
veins were looked at with especial at
tention, and feet examined for in-grow-
ing toe-nails, flatncss, etc. A small an-
Choir in India ink was found on one
arm.
1--WE don't object to tattooing in gem
eral, )" the examiner remarked, but
once in while we find fellow with
some obscene picture or other pricked
into his skin. That cooks his goose.
Uncle Sam don't want to collect a pict-
ure-gallery of that kind"
After the candidates various birth
marks, scars, etc, had been taken &C
count of and the color of his eyes and
other points of identification all noted
he was requested to dress himself. He
then answered long series of ques-
tons respecting hereditary diseases in
his family, his previous occupations, ex-
perence or lack of it in Jail, and the
like. Finally enlistment papers in
triplicate were made out and the pro.
cess of listing" was complete.
1--WE get some queer letters some
times" the officer said when the ex-
animation was finished Zone man
wrote a few days ago asking if he
could live with his wife if he enlisted
and if they would have a separate
house. He also wanted to know
whether he would be given house in
Washington or Detroit. | merely said
in answer that we took no married
men-which is the fact. Of course the
requirements are very much more eX-
acting than they are in war times. We
don't care to enlist very many men,
and we are careful to pick out the very
choicest that offer themselves. DE
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