The Washington critic., 1885-12-09

THE DEACON'S DINNER.

THE DEACON'S DINNER.
The good housewives of tho Neigh
lorhood often said that Mrs. smart
ought to be the happiest woman in tn
world.
Such nice housc rs she lives I'M"
said Miss Bryce, who. poor soul, taught
the district school, and "bolrled
around" like the scapcgoat in the
scripture wilderness.
Such pious man as the dear .Dea-
con isl' added Mrs. Hopkins, whose
brttor half had once been n sea captain,
and who was still apt to be profane by
fits and starts, when the cattle got into
tic clover field, aud the midnight
weasel mauraidcd' on his hen-coop3
and turkey roosis.
with store carpet on the best
rccm iloorl" put in Mrs. Jones, "an1
u weekly newspaper, and white su ar
in her tea every day of her life, AMI
horse and wagon to take her to mectin
Sundays"
Such was the opinion of society as
represented in Glen Hollow. Perhaps
Mrs. Deacon Smart was n happy
woman. But we are told, on the very
best authority, that,
"The heart knowcth It's own bitterness
Mrs. Smart was washing her best
china one morning preparatory to Civ
ing grand tea party, and her cousin,
Ella Dale, was helping her, when the
Deacon put his shining bald head in at
the door.
MY dear" he said, "hcre is paper
of pins for you"
M;s Smart nearly dropped gilt
edged saucer in her CONSERVATION.
more pERSi" said she.
Eyes, my dear" said the Deacon,
unctuously. "Pins are always use
full"
ooh, yes, pinSl" said Mrs. Smart,
giving her glass towel toss as
| from goblet. "But morrow of rusty
wire. do say for it, Ebenezer -"
al IN going TO Glen Depot, my dear"
| the Deacon somewhat hurriedly inter.
rupted at this juncture, "and perhaps
shan't be home till o clock"
He withdrew. and Mrs. Smart turned
to Ella Dale with a half laugh.
There, my dear, said she, throw
ing down the faded green roll of pin
paper on the "dressCr, there you be
hold the secret of my domestic unhap-
piness--thc skeleton in my closet I"
Ella opened her round, hazel eyes
very wide.
II cant think what you mean, JUL
anna" she said. "Y0U unhappy aud
the dear Deacon such truly good
man Z"
That's the trouble" said Mrs
Smart; "ho is too good.
"But | don't hardly sec how that
can be possible, protested Ella, more
pcrplexed than ever.
and it's all nj my expense" said
Mrs. Smart, dolefully. "Do you see
that paper of pins?"
"N by. of course | see it," said Ella.
"Wcll, Mr.. Smart has bought that
paper of pins Of peddler at the
door" said Mrs. Smart. "Peddlers
always come here. This house is a
Mecca to the race of peddlers. They
know that Mr.. Smart always buys of
them--he' too good hearted to say no;
or, rather-let us speak the truth, and
shame him who shall be nameless be-
tween us-he is really too indOlent to
resist their opportunities.
Ella burst out laughing.
"But what a very Insignificant lite
trial - she said.
"Oh, yes, / dare say" said Mrs,
Smart. 1.-The sting of a hornet ism
so very terrible in itself, but when q
whole swarm is let loose upon you,
what then 2"
an whole swarm ?" repeated limo.
cent Ella
"My dear" said Mrs. Smart, lower.
ing her voice TO n confidential whisper,
"up stairs in my bedroom closet | have
eighteen papers of just such cheap pins
utterly useless for anything but to bend
themselves up double when you try &c
put them through single thickness OF
calico, and to deprive you of your TEN
per when you need it most; six CARD
of porcelain buttons, an article which
/ aeror use; nine packages of stow,
backing; thirteen bottles of machin,
oil; five papers of rusty needles;
dozen pairs of shoe strings, and cigh
rolls Of tape, which is an insult to one,
common sense If | could reconcile /
to my conscience, I'd lng the Who'll,
collection into the fire; but | wa
brought up to economize. What do
you think, Ella, would it be u sin to an
initiate all these pitfalls TO my elua
nimity q
at is rather hard problem, " sale
Ella, soberly.
"And with all this" said Mrs. Smart
waxing vehement as she went on
"Ebene2Cr is unwilling to give m
money to buy decent darning- needle
and respectable tape. He wonders why
! can't make my dresses last a llttlt
longer, and thinks | am eXtrayagant II
wanting new feather for my old vel
vet bonnet. He says that | usa to,
many raisins and spices, and asks M
why | can't raise poultry aud hayJ
eggs to exchange for groceries at tn,
village store. Aud yet-oh, the incon
sistency of men-he expects me to giy,
bowl Of coffee and a sandwich, TO 81,
nothing of wedges Of apple pie, an,
three. couored bits of cake to ever,
able-bodied tramp and stout poddlar
woman who happen to come along"
'Docsn'the make any allowance 70
II in the housekeeping money!" a5ke.
Ella
Not he Just look here p Mrs
Smart opened the drawer Of the kitchen
table, "lhis is where l keep tn
housekeeping moncy-which he give
= me every wecll--Hnd he. came hor
, twice this moming-onoo to get quar-
ter for lame bcggar, and again to re
ten pennies for that same ourageou
paper " pins -
And she cast balcful glance at tina
article, which still lay on the dresser
This is piracy" said Ella judi