The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-03-07
THE FAMILY CLOCK.
Sad Results of MIstinkering With 1t by an
InPxDerienced Parson

Sad Results of MIstinkering With 1t by an
inexperienced Person.
l have always chung affectionately to
the theory that no poor man should ever
hire anybody else to do what he himself
can do about his premises. am OPP
posed to hiring tramps to eat up the
substance of a Woodworking individual
like an editor hence | never allow one
to saw wood for his breakfast at my
place.
The other day tramp called at my
house. He had a kit of tinkering instru-
ments and displayed a burning desire to
heal the eccentricities of our clock,
which never could be satisfied unless it
was from four minutes to three days
slow. | was at first disposed to let him
give it two or three experimental thinks,
but when he informed me that his time
was very valuable and the wear and tear
of his brain very severe in the perform
ance of such offices of human bene-
faction l concluded to do the Job my
self.
That afternoon | went down town and
paid seven dollars to a hardware man
for the necessary labor-saving machine
~. | felt that seven dollars was not an
eXtravaoant price to pay for a set of
entire period of human life, so | hur-
ried home and went for that clock.
My wife spread white paper on the
dining-table for me and it was not long
before l had the viscera of that clock
scattered about me like the shattered
remain of a brass foundry after a cy-
clone has toyed with it. No wonder it
was slow! Every cog and journal was
clogged with dirt and stiffened with oil.
| rubbed up the parts carefully and then
my wife leaned lovingly over my
shoulder and remarked that she could
not comprehend how in the world |
would ever get all that stuff into it
again | replied that it took a high
order of genius to do that, and drawing
myself up proudly. assured her that |
was fully equal to the situation.
Then | began to put the clock to-
gether, and soon had it full, but there
were wheels and eccentrics and levers
enough left to make another clock. |
feel proud of my grand achievements
| had often head that economy is
wealth." and | had saved enough of
that clock to pay for a new handspring
in my watch. put on the hands and
wound up the reiuvenated timepiece,
then started it. 1t went off like the
gong at railway eating house, where
a fellow stops twenty minutes to get
robbed. When | was little boy going
to school my teacher, a tender
young soul of about fortv-two
summers and twice as many winters,
used to write Time Flies in my copy
book, but Inever fully realized the scope
and intent of the remark until that clock
resumed business at the old stand. |
realized in a moment that | had con-
quered the perverse disposition of that
clock to play along the road 1t seemed
infused with renewed vigor and was
punctual to a fault.
The hour-hand got around the dial
once each hour, while the minute-hand
got around sixty times in the same
period and the bell sounded every sec
Ond. On close inspection [ discovered
that had accomplished what had never
been done before. | had turned time
backward, and longed to have the poet
who sang Backward, turn backward, O
time, in thy flight present that might
show him that his wish was gratifed
The hands were going the wrong way,
and my wife smiled sweet sad smile of
hope as she remarked that in about four
days we would be a boy and girl in
school again. l was pleased for a mo-
ment at the thought, but as a faint
Il 1
children in such an event stole upon me,
hope gave place to fear that it would
leave a blemish upon our young lives to
return to the good old times, and |
jammed the screw-driver into the mass
of rapidly revolving wheels and put a
stop to their mad career One of these
times | am going to pull the nail out and
90 back to the garden of Eden and see
Eve feed Adam apples.-F. E. Huddle,
IN N. Y. MercurQ