The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-02-26
The Father at Home.

Some fathers fail to gain their chill.
dren's confidence BY an apparent lack of
sympathy. On the other hand, few
young people ever take the trouble to
put themselves in their fathers place
to imagine how he must feel this Or that
behavior, bow a dlsrespectful word or
look insults him, or voluntary conf.
dence is priced by him. There are
many things, no doubt, which boys and
girls do not care to speak of before their
father; but.they do not know how hurt
pater tamilias feels when conversation
is st"pped upon his entering the room,
when he is made to feel that he is not
one of the circle. that he is power to be
respected and prnpitiated, but no more.
| Very often man has. himself to blame
for this state of things, but not always.
Often it is mere love OF secrecy which
make girls especially exclude their father
AS much as possible from knowledge of
their doipgs, their friends, their comings
and goings, their fears aud hopes. With
-ume this reticence must be necessary.
Cnnfdeuces would only be met with
uspicIon OF blame or ridicuie. But
most men have tender spot in their
hearts, even tor the weakness md foolish
ness of "their own htsh," and feel
pained when theyare silently condemned
rs unworthy of confidence. Pater tami.
fas may be too proud to show that he
feels hurt He may wrap himself up in :
dignity and affect contempt for the
trlfing concerns of the girls; he may
even repei the first advances, but his
heart may be eSclaiming bitterly against
the coldness and hardness which excludes
nim from the knowledge of his daugh-
ter's mind and heart which is given to
half dozen school girl friends. A girl
owes much to her father, even if he has
not been all to her that parent ought to
be. BE has had to work hard, very
probably, that her bread aud butter
might be secure. He has borne cares,
anxieties, struggles, temptations, at
which she can but guess-of which she
can form no real conception. If he is
hard and unsympathetic some allowance
for the nervous irritation of an overwork.
ed or anxious man may surely be made.
And a girl never, we believe, has any
conception how precious she is in~her
fathers eyes. Rough words and cold or
angry looks may seem to disproye it, but
1t is true nevertheless. More even in
sense, than his wife, she appeals to his
protective care. He may scold or slight
her, but let any real harm threaten her
and she will see that to touch her is to
touch the apple oil his eye. The day
comes, no doubt, when her allegiance
and sympathy are transferred to another,
in right of a still higher claim. There is
little wopder if poor pater .tamilias looks
askance on him at first and is slow to
admit that he is theone at whose coming
his reigtt must end. 1t is the way of
nature, and it must be so. But it is hard.
A father often loses more on his daugn-
ter's marriage than her mother does.
"My daughters my daughter all her life"
But q fathers right changes entirely
when the ring is put on the finger. Till
the fairy prince comes, then, let pater
famiHas be considered and deferred 10,
and if necessary. hundred. Let him
not be made to feel that bare duty is to
be paid to him. Let him not feel him
self stranger in his own house. For
many little sacrifice, many gentle or
patient word, unnoticed, unacknowledged
at the time, aud soon forgotten by her
who renders it, lives in the memory Of
him who receives it, Wauerly.