The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-03-29
BEATING THE RECORD.
A Deputy Gets IN Some Fine
Work.
HE SERVES HIS LITTLE PAPER
And Gets Served in Return with
Something Harder
Etc. Etc.

Eyelina Van Damn is girl of girls,
and knows it. She has worried through
twenty odd Cor evenl summers and q
few autumns, and is a very desirable
creature, all things considered. Her
figure is one like Hebe or shebe-like
outlines; her hair falls in Niagara Falls
profusion and manner around shoulders
whose rotundity and shapeliness are
| beyond the comprehension or too close
inspection of man. Her face is all
dimples and smiles, except one mole.
To know her is to be acquainted with
her. Her father has three or four other
girls, as many boys, and is suspected of
having more. He lives in the Dixie
part of the Third Ward, and has COW
pasture all to himself. besides story
and two-thirds frame house constructed
on the Ethiopian plan.
Endymion 0'Toole is a noted LAYER
out of susceptible womanhood; he
wears an eye-glass in his ocular; part
OF his ringlets stray down over his
marble forehead and hang there in gen
Tie dalllance with his two-for-a-quarter
eyebrows; he has an imported nose
that Is, Grecian-fne black ewes and
cane. What else does a person need
In the way of wearingout qualities?
Endymion met Eveline on the bouI-
ward, bounded on one side by the trunk
factory and Dusky Sarah's, and on the
other by Tribune Avenue and Benites'
saloon. She was going home, and his
magnetic gaze fell upon her. She blush
ed such an Italic blush that she made
the kohlnoor on his shirt front resemble
shower of falling stars. This was his
opportunity and he embraced it. Step
ping up briskly he inquired if her name
was not exactly what it was. and
course she said it was. He then pro-
ceeded to announce that an old school
mate OF hers had described her to nun
and requested him to speak to her when
they met. She was so confused and de-
lighted that she didn't cross-examine
the witness to find out who the school |
mate was, but allowed Endymion to |
walk along with her. He was COED |
all-round talker, and made himself so |
agreeable that before either Of them |
knew how far they had gone they were
at the rusty gate fronting the residence |
OF Van Damn pere. Il believe that's
rightly After few words of hidden
affection on both sides, Dimmy with
drew, with warm invitation to call
the next evening, which he did. He
the grand parlor fronting the
COW pasture and made himself at ease
all at once. When they were getting fair
ly settled down to business, old and Mrs.
and whole barnyard full of young
Van Damns filed into the apartment to
get acquainted with the new beau.
Alter the introduction ceremonies. oc-
cupying about an hour, were over.
O'Toole observed through the door to
his left, which was slightly ajar, some
what -ipe=loobing female and asked
Evelina why he couldn't he made ac-
quainted with all the inmates while he
was at it, explaining that time was no
object.
Who is the lady ?" he said.
"Oh, that, !" said the girl, with light,
%lnsome, Commercial street laugh, lis
Mrs. Van Damn too"
Indeed" said Endymion; "rhen
permit me to read this document. You
ire hereby commanded to appear be-
1r sooner. Whereof fail not 1 am
deputy"
And they failed not. They failed not to
make it equatorial for OiToole. The
Did woman, by the force of habit,
grabbed the broomstick, the old man
cached up to the rack for his shot gun,
he children reached for anything that
vas movable, and Eyelina rushed to the
kitchen for the tea kettle The deputy
departed with celebrity that would have
von him the championship in go-as-
rou-please race with telegram. After
he had got safely away and recovered
lis breath, he said: by the new Presi-
lent, but l beat the record in making
eryice and getting away aliver'
The woman in the other room was
IAN Damn's brothers wife, on visit.
ESSAY CAIGH.