The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-08-14
CONVERSATIONAL

"You don't mean to say that you wish
your wife would turn into q pillar q
salt ,"
Not exactly; but"
But what -
81 wish that she wasn't quite so pep
perry"
A tramp begged some assistance.
"Can't you ind work You are strong
enough to work :"
Il know ] am, but ] can't find any
work" replied the tramp mournfully; II
look through the papers every morntn',
but there don't seem 70 be anybody that
wants Jest such a man as am. try hard
enough, but I'm gittin discouraged"
How are You to-day >" said Old Nfrz.
IadSer - Mr.. Simpson. I heard yOu
were very sick. and I've brought you some
nice preserves"
That was kind Of you." replied Nh
Simpson gratefully, q" but / am quite wfln
! thsnk You I hepe you have nQt besu
put 10 any trouble.
"Not At all" answered Mrs, bsss5-ss--
with bSHs-t sinrA-'-- .--.u -
only Forry that you don't have need fOS
then."
"Have you any vacancies in this Office -
inquired a sharp, bright-lOoking girl gong
into an Insurance piacs down town.
Behold for yourself" said the nan
aSer, waving his hsnd towards a row q
nice younE men at their decks.
"Oh, yes" she answered quickly q
had noticed them from the outside, that's
why ] inquired. know 50 mny young
The manager has been wondering ever
since what the deuce the girl really meant
Merchant Troustcr.
Wife" I wish you would get youT lfre
insured for 5000, my dear i"
Husband was thinking of getting q
insured for $40 Ooo."
Wife" DO you think you can 3"
Husband" Certainly. Why notf"
Wife, Supposed The companies 70
fused to insure anything for more than itE
worth"
The Rev. Mr.. Slytes, Of Bungtown &c
usher in uptown New York church,
VIII you show nae to pew, please p
Usher Yo1 can take any of the bach
pews, sir
The Rev. Mr.. Slytes-" But am ne
Rev. Air Styles, Of Bengtown.r
Usher" That don't make any differ
encs, sir. The BACK Pews can be occupied
by anybody who behaves himself"
At an evening party Dumley was intro
duced to a young lady, aAd after a re-
mark about the weather he said zallant<
ly;
And haveI really the pleasure Of meet
ing the beautiful Miss Smith. whose
praises are being sounded by everybody -
"Oh, no, Mr.. Dumley, the lady replied,
"the beautiful Miss Smith 70 whom y6u
refer is a cousLs Of mine
"Oh, that's il Well / thought there
must Be mistake somesThere," said the
gallant Dumley.
Judge" You are accused Of stealing g
pair Of cuffs; what have you 70 say -
Prisoner-'I can prove that Intended
TO return them"
Judge" How -
Prisoner" Wen, I'd vveas one side IN
til It wss s0Ued, then I would turn them
When the second side became more soiled
than the first, I'd return them"
The judge acquitted him of The theft
but sent him up for 80 days % get the
Joke out Of his system
" III KITE became eQLauEIeu In the
branches Of the maple in front OF the door
the other day, and before he could ext1k
cate It 1t was torn from end TO end.
oh, darn the thing ~ said he with q
good deal of temper.
What ?" exclaimed hts mother from
the porch. Come here, SIR, instantly.
What did You say -
." said darn The thing, " replied the
'cpte little chap. But there's two kinds
OF darns, you know. One you say, your
self-about stOckings-Rnd that's the kind
I meant"
Charles said Mrs.. Spendall. saw Q
beautiful costume at Bizarres to-day, aud
] should like it ever so much"
And should ike you TO have it, replied
Charles, but really Clara, haven't the
money to spare"
"Oh, you great tease I know you have
better than that ] saw q brand-new
check book in your desk only yesterday
and not one Of the checks had been used
a choice OF svils-Mrs. Masham
What a lot of dust there is, Mable
Shall we have the hood Of the carriage
put up in front ,"
Mabel: "OR, no.. We shouldn't see
anybody"
Mrs. Nasham Shall we have Il up Be-
hind then -
Mabel: Oh. that would be stiu worse,
for nobody could see rs"