West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-11-27
THE WIFE MARKET.
Ambiguous Phraseology of Matri-
monial Advertisements.

-Nalrmonial advertisements are be-
coming more aud more common in tho
country One would suppose that they
are found to succeed, otherwise their
number would not increase as it does,
IT is not always, however that adver
semenis succeed The following is an
instance of contrary result:
"Ihe middlc-agei widower who adj
vert'sed three weeks ago is still candi-
date for matrimony. Many letters are
missing 10y not giving explicit and
proper directions. How sad!-is stflL
candidate for matrimonvl Did he.
perhaps, confess TO "incumbranccs" in
his previous advertisement, or is il be-
cause he is middle aged and "A widower
th.t he has not been appreciated i'm the
course OF three whole weeks? And he
Is evidently such an unsuspe tine. sim.
llc-m'ndcd. trustfu man. Some men
would have thought that if no letter
came no letters had been written; but
not so the mlddle-aged widower He.
on tho contrary. is :ull of faith. He Is
sure that many ladies have written;
they must have used a wrong address
is IL yet too late for us 90 Ioint out 10
t1e talr sex how invaluable "A husband
with SUCH ready explanatory theories
would b. TO ladies who love libertyP
The middle-aged widowcr does not de-
serve 10 be disappointed; but we can
scarcely hold the same cw of a mid
die agoi lady's case:
"A lady OF middle age, with no GEN
tlcman &C uaintanccs. would like TO
form an acquaintance with "A gentle
man-irOm mid le age to siNtv-with n
view to matrimonv" Now i'm the first
place, docs this mean that the acauaint.
"nccship Is TO last from middle ace TO
sixty, with a view TO eventual matri-
mOuy' That sort of arrapQement
would certainly not suit an eager voUnU
fellow like the middle-aged widower
whom delay of even three weeks
could drive into that plaintive "still a
candidate" But, further than thi.. the
lady makes two capital blunders. which
VIII probably prove fatal TO her wishes
She should have represented herself rs
surrounded by troops OF ardent admir-
crs none Of whom qu te come TO her
ideal standard and she should have
chosen sOmc less offensive phrase than
from middle age TO sixty" supposinv
Ii To refer 30 the age of the gentleman
and not TO the duration of the court
sap. That phrase will infallibly offend
&ii matrimonial men of sixty. We
ihould imag nc that the middle-aped
"idoYer is close upon sixty. else he
would Ges rbc himself as lin the prime
o. life, W aud yet the wording Of the adj
Vc,tiscmgnt implies that siXty is old. ON
the other hand, men from forty to fifty
Will not allow that thcy are middle
aged, they leave that for fellows of six
.. Here is proposal whose full beau
ties does not come out on mere cur
sory glance.
"A gentleman of medium age and a
good mercantile business desires the ac-
qua.ntance of lady, from twenty-five
10 forty years of age, for wife. His
lady acquaintance i'm the city, very linn
it'd. is of retiring, modest disposi-
ton Observe the dclicacy of the zen
ilcman Of middle age. He does not adj
dress himself 20 principals. but to
friends of principals He wants as a
wife the acquaintance of lady from
twenty five TO forty years OF age How
O.d the wished-lor wife is to be he does
not say, nor yet why her friend should
be from twenty-five 10 forty years of
age. His second sentence. too. is am
biguous: His lady acmaintauce i'm
ihi. city, very limited, is of retiring.
modest disposition" Poss bly il en-
bodies a complaint and. If so. IL is un-
wisc, for it casts a reflection upon his
re ,ders. IL amounts TO saying that he
can not get on with the retiring and
modest ladies, and so seeks for n wife
among that opposite class which adver-
tsts or answers advertisements.
What does "middle-aVed gentle
man mean who desires the acquaint-
ancc OF % poor young lady and adds
in parcuthcs.s, can orphan prcfcrredg'
can it bc that he objects TO the idea OF
mOihcr-in-law2 or is IL that there is
something wrong about him which
natural protector could find
out' On the other hand. IL
may be that he is 20 deficient
I'm personal attractions about which
verf little is said in these advertise
1urnts. and as compared with income
that Doc thinks he VIII have ~ better
cha ce with t.e poor and helplcss"
c.ass "A bashful young" man does
moi look for an orphan. he cOnfcsses
that "a pretty loot Is his passion" I'm
connection with "HaNcn hair and blue
eyes. not knowing, perhaps i'm his
fa.1fulnCss. that these three eXccllcncos
ere rare "a young soldier is not so
boshful as the 'bashful young man"
wandcrs through involved sentences
win much confusion of first and third
Ie son. and at last, feeling that be has
30 er made a mess of 10. bursts out in
pi.,n English
anu quite anxious % marry. Il /
can find some one suited io my mind
in about one year hence. when my term
@, rv c. exp res. Mono but those who
aIc lulereiy spos q To- look this mat
t.r quaro ths face need reply The
m tart pro o,s on brings 90, 90 two ad-