The Bad Lands cow boy. [volume] (Little Missouri, Dakota [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-1886, 1885-09-24
4 b inventive iGe1iius:,

= y
ed that. during the year seventy pat.
!ents had been issued I'd SsEw,ssomen.3 AS.
i always like to pet fat bottom facts, I
hunted mp the last Patent Office report
from the numerous volumes winch
have been kindly donated to me by an
;appreciatlve Congressman, and pro-.
$ceeded to post myself as to what the
patents We're issued for. Here are a
feWtof the most notable: 4
I;5 A Missouri lady look ontletters pat-
Ient for an Indicator which when at
tacheds ITO she bed-post will show by
tglancing atsthe dial whether there IS
q hOrEid man under the bed !. e Ehe
saving Of time9insa q year will more than
pay the cost of an instrument, 1, 81.
Mrs. Minkiers. of Podunk,N Y. in
vented a patent mouse and rat exter-
minatoT w hen ID lady secs d nasty
mouse the first scream sets the ma
chine of; and pair Of claws ;seizes the.
offending varmint by9 the back Of the
neck and yanks the everlasting stuffing
out of him in less time than il would
take to go around a block. - 1
Miss Nancy Jane Ste bbins, of Hairy
town. New Jersey, patented new
b4Ao Will d
reYolutionin the. dissemination Of news.
In seven minutes sbY3 the watch, the
choicest bit of scandal can be scatter-
ed to the four winds of heaven in
more approved style than could be eff
fected bySs seven hours of the most in
dustrious gadding. The inventor
wears a large leather medal presented
TO her by the suffering society Of New
Jersey. &s5$Sf r. Z. :, 8. OH
Mr.. Sapphire Coon, Of Smilerville,
Ky. [ obtaineds g. patent on an attach
ment whereby as woman may hold
twelve extra thes. pins in her mouth.
and at the same time keep up an ami
mated conversation with the woman
in the next yard, thereby saving hours
Of valuable time. 80
i57 Mary Ann Duzenberry, of ,Skowhe-
gan, Me-, comes to the front with q
duplex, ck.action, non freezing in
dicator, which can be attached to the,
husband land will tell, unerrhgly where
he has been when lie goes to the lodgs..
She has already made 4 large fortune
out of itiand the demand increases.
Mrs. Prnd cnce Cumback, OF Dadds-
vile. @. has patented muzzle which
canb put ION the Did man, etfectually.
preventing him from kissing the hired
girl. III he does, an electric current Is
produced which rings bell, strikes a
gong and blows a whistle in the kitch..
en-. The factory is running night and
day and is away behind the orders.
An old maid named McGoozler, of!
Peewee, Ore, trots out an attachment
enabling a woman to carry an umbrel-39
la without jabbing the eyes out of.
every mortal man that comes within!
twenty feet Of her. A ;f,tsi.sE.- - /
A giddy young thing named Glenn
entina Bagshott, OF Gooseville, N. j.
aaa sEHaS to-
utterly cute forsany kind of use" On
each side off the gate is a. swinging
stool which can be swung around to
proper distance as q pedestrian ap-
.proaches, and rs soon as; he passes arc
swung back to within a quarter of an
inch Of ach other The top of the
gate is pad led, making it very orna-
mental as well as useful.
III OF course these are not all, \ but they
are enough TOT show that it you will
give a. woman room ccording to her
strength she will Yank the socks off
the rest OF creation in an amazing
short space of period. s53S
II 3don'tswant to- hear another word
from the old seed who sit around
whiting dry goods boxes, and inti-
mate that women 5 best hold is wash.
ing dishes and sewing on buttons She
is already working up to a grander,
.nobler sphere and dom you forgetsit.
Carl hretsel's Weetllst 81 ].