The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-04-02
FORMERLY:
He that by the plow would thrive,
Should either hold or drive.
He that wishes by the plow to thrive,
Can now enjoy O ride and drive.
Up With the Dentist.

UP WAtn tue UentlSls ." ...,F
With eleven teeth had ! parted with
out the aid of anpsthetics. Uncondi-
tionnlly | surrendered them to the dea-
tist, who was willing to receive them for
AS took the chair Of torture remarked
that It was q four footed mclar and would
hurt.
Take gas" suggested the dentist.
What is gas 2"
nitrogen monoxide-the beat anle5.
thetic known. 1t IL harmless and serves
WE'LL"
"I'll take it; give me enough"
The dentist brought forth rubber bag,
the wooden muzzle of which he thrust
into my mouth.
With bound l sprang into the air.
I attempted to fasten my hold upon
something, but everything gave way
even giant elm came up by tie roots. I
realized that had but few minutes TO
live. All my friends-1 saw every one
were watching me. My deeds, good and
bad, filed past me. will not say which
formed the longer procession. A man
TO whom 1 had given pewter quarter
asked me how liked it, and said that he
knew I would come to 1t.
Now was going upward, and when I
had reached gvat height I swooped
down like bird of prey and dashed
through wall OF solid masonry-just o
hundred feet thick by actual measure
ment. A dozen times I scared aloft,
and as many times sailed down. When
I descended all the store fer go, cobbles,
bowlders and trees ran to meet me. I
hit them all. Now 7 was ascending
again, but in different nanner. A bal.
loon miles in circumference was bearing
me upward. / clung to it, lover part
with my teeth. My hands we've in my
pockets, for the air was chilly. Above
me was the balloon car, and cot OF it
leaned man resembling the dentist. ln
his hand he held ali Immense pair of
| tougs. he regarded me with manifest
displeasure. II
We were rising at q fearful rate of
speed-so fast, indeed, that I could not
| shut my eyes. The wind blew the lids
open and held them back. At last the
man in the car said: "Now I'll pull that
tooth; you must cling with your nose
while 1 pull" I oheyed, knowing that
I was in his power. The tooth came out
on the end OF the tongs, and was placed
in the car. Soon after heard tumult
in the car above. The dentist appeared
and shook his clouched hand ut me. and
shouted: "Confound your old tooth !
1t 10 growing 30 fast that 1t will csowa
me ont Pretty fellow, you are to shed
such o ,monBtrous moler." thought
this was very unkind. had not asked
him 70 pull the tooth, and how could I
be responsible for its size3 ss
Again the dentist appeared and cried
In great wrath "I shall throw it over.
board-lookout r. It did not hit me.
saw ms It whizzed by that It was, many
times larger than tho capitol building as
|; Washington. hoped that none Of my,
friends were standing where 1t would fall.
upon tho earth. We were now near the
sun and approaching nearer at lightning
speed. The dentist ssat on; the edge OF
the car, dangled his leg and smoked
He had the impudence to ask mo why
i did not smoke: II was 60 warm from;
proximity to the sun that decided togol
no farther. Lre!inqnisiied my hold and,
shouted Good -bye, old 3jagbreaker.a .a
Quick as Thought, insui.ed, indigRantss
the dentist rushed for his tongs. II
Illf them all ~ b said. and "a Il fail Sthag