West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-03-06
SCIENTIFIC IGNORANCE.
The Idea of Naturaiists Regarding tho
Domestic Cat shown to sc an Entirely
Erroneous One.

s'lhple anu easy oeastS. lake, Tor cN-
ample, the monkey. There is nothing
complex or difficult about the monkey.
set not a single writer on zoology seems
to know that the monkey understands
the difference between current coins
and buttons, and that button that
might with perfect ease be put on "A
Sunday-morning collection plate would
be rejected with scorn were an at.
tempt made to palm it upon a monkey
connected with the hand-organ pro
fcssion.
The ignorance OF naturalists is, how,
ever most conspicuously shown when
they attempt TO describe the cat They
learnodly inform us that the cat belongs
TO the species FCiiS dOmCSticd; that IL Is
carnivorous mammalian quadruped,
capable OF domestication, and with n
passion for mice. This sounds well,
but IS very far from being an exhaust
i've description of the cat Indeed, Il is
characterized by other errors than those
of omission, and is in every way unsat-
isfactory.
The cat, above everything else. Is a
crockery- animal. Its alleged
passion for mice, which, by the way.
IS never manifested except when the cat
is on the verge of starvation, Is not TO
be named on the same day with it's
passion for breaking crockcry, and the
skill and perseverance which IL shows
in gratifying this passion are simply
wonderful.
A gentleman whom we may call Mr.
a, and who is not u habitual natural
list, has made careful study of his pri-
vate cat IN her relations TO his crock
cry. The cat in question belongs to
the black and white variety, and is in
no respect remarkable in comparison
with other cats OF her species Within
the last two years this cat has broken
seventy-tive pieces of crockcry, includ-
ing both glass and china ware, and
ranging from small wine-glasses up To
soup tureens The smaller articles she
breaks in the presence of the cook.
while large platters and soup tureens
she usually breaks at midnight and
alone. She is especially fond OF gob-
lets, and If the cook so much as looks
away from the table where the goblets
are standing ready To be washed, the
cat will leap up and dash two or three of
them TO the floor A soup turecn weigh
| ing fifteen pounds may be placed on the
top shelf OF pantry, and the door may
be carefully closed, but sooner or later
the cat will get up in the middle of the
night, open the pantry door, and taking
the tureen in her fore-paws, hurl IL
against the wall, and irretrievably
smash il.
Mr.. A. has not, it is true, personally
! observed his eat in the act Of breaking
crockery. Indeed. that deceitful ami
| NAL prctends in his presence the most
| utter indifference thereto. He has.
| however the explicit testimony OF his
cook rs to crockery ravages committed
by the cat, aud as the cook is a most
| respectable woman from Ireland, who
| - Jealous in protecting her employer
from imposition on the part Of tramps,
| nc has entire confidence i'm her asser-
! ton The evidence brought forward
! by this able observer touching the cat $
tondness for destroying crockery can
| be corrobOroted by almost every house
keeper who has "A faithful and honest
I cook, yet not q single naturalist defines
| the cat ~ u crOckery-destroyin ami
NAL
Then, again, the naturalists assure US
/ that the cat is carniyorous. This ~ true
as far as it goes but Il is only a part Of
/ the truth The cat is also cakeivOrous and
/ preserveivorous, aud even picklcivorous.
I Another private student OF cats, whom
we may call Mrs. b.. has a cat whose
/ fOndness for preserves and whose
/ capacity for devouring them are some
i thing wonderful This cat makes moth
/ ing Of breaking a quart jar Of straw
/ berry sweetmoats and devouring its en-
| tire contents IN the course of an even
/ ing. The animal has even been known
/ 10 consume at the same time. and I'm adj
| ditlOn 10 the quart Of sweetmeats a
/ large quantity OF cake, pint Of cream,
| n pint OF pickles, and half a loaf OF
bread. II is a curious fact that the cat
/ is never guilty OF these excesses when
| in the presence Of her mistress. but the
! cook has again and again caught her i'm
/ the act Of finishing AN unlawful ban
I quet Another curious thing is that
| whenever the cook has company the
| cat Is almost sure TO be- seized with a
/ hunger for preserves and pickles.
/ whether the presence Of the cooks
| guests initiates the cat and prompts her
| TO the commission OF crime, or whether
| the cooks attention is so taken UP with
her visitors that she fails 10 watch over
| her employers interests, there is at
! present no means Of deciding IL should
be added that th's particular cook is
greatly grieved 40 the misconduct Of
I the cat, but being kind-hearied
woman, she is unwilling that the poor
/ irresponsible beast should be- punished
for gratifying 10. natural appetite
Now, one would think that all nat
uraIists pretending 20 be acquainted
| with Che manners and customs Of cats
would know that the cat break. crock
/ cry and eats all sorts of things. 30 one
| pretends that there is anything abstruse
about The cat On the contrary. 10 f.
one Of the first animals mentioned I'm
/ geological textbook. and the student
who finds cats difficult would have very
! little reason to expect TO master clc.
| phauts girallcs and other higher ani-
mails Yet naturaligts are ignorant Of
the most Characteristic traits Of cats.
and actually prefer 10 dwell in de crib
ing the cat upon some such partial
truth as Chat the cat D. carnivorOus. or
some such iallacy as That 30 has passion
| for nice. Lot the uaturalists 90 to the
Kitchen and humblv SD at the feet Of
the cook. Thus they will learn ia ff
/ teen minutes more about the cat than
they can otherwise learn iu lifetime.
/ -HQrpe's Baz0r
Tho past years literary record
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