Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-09-24
GLEiNINGS.

The Teller is d man who sometimes docs
not tell--but silently steals away.
When the millennium comes all the work
will be done by the Kscly!motor.
The man who has nothing to say il un-
fortunately the man who j, always talking.
As we understand Brother Hendricks, he
il cordially in favor of carrying out the civil
service law-on shutter.
The best way to secure downright horse,
shoe luck is to keep your eyes open and
grasp the opportunity before it turns the
corner.
prcadamite Hoar appears to regret that
he wasn't born before the world was crea-
ated The world has pretty much the same
feeling.
A man IA always wanting some one to tell
him how handsome he looks A woman
will just stand before the glass and see for
herself.
The man of bad character feels most
keenly any remark that might be construed
a. a slander on his good name in ease he
had one.
In Edgeiield the young unmarried law
yers take their fees in chickens and present
them to their sweethedrts. Is that romance
or economy?
\ correspondent saya that the fact that
all the birds except robins and sparrows
have disappeared from this region is an in
dication of an early Winter.
Grafton, VI, boasts Of a young lady 10
years>old who weighs $50 pounds. When
only II years old she weighed over 200
pounds and has been rapidly gaining ever
since that time
The latest discoveries render insulation SO
perfect that to-day there il less loss of cleo
rical foYcb between the United States and
England than there was formely between
New York and Brooklyn
The latest claimants for the honor of be-
ing the Oldest twins are Mrs. Catharine Ri
der and Mrs. Betsy Brazie, Of Scholarie
ccnnty, n. Y, who celebrated their ninety.
fourth birthday last month.
The SIN is again asking, Why shonld a
Congressman be buried at public expense?
The SIM must not be too critical. The bur
ial Of some Congressmen is great public
duty aud pleasure. Jdqg Timer.
new and popular game among Phila-
delphia bellies is bows" Two young la
dies walk down street together, and the one
to whom the most hats are raised Is the win
ner, and the other PAYS for the ice cream or
soda water. When hat is raised 70 both
il is called scratch" and counts neither.
II doesn't do to hold the mirror up 10 ma
ture. Nature doesn't like the image IL sees,
and smashes the glass. The Duke Of Wei
lington went for pretty brave man, and
he said one day, when dining with his gen.
erals. " Gentlemen, we would like TO speak
the truth, but if we did people would fear
US in pieces"
" Yes" said the Honest Farmer, know
there are people what always puts the big
apples at the top Of the bar', but don't"
That's right" exclaimed tie deacon sd-
miringly. 81 have always tried to convince
folks that sort 0 things don't pay in the
long run"
" If they'd go to the city once in while
they'd learn something. always puts my
big apples at the bottom Of the bar'l.'
That's the way
Yes; you see people has got 50 snsPi-
cious that they most always open the bar'l
at the bottom nowadays"
have put in telephone said one broker
70 another thi. morning.
why? Does your business justify -
Novel;, yes. You see | notify my
creditors to call me up by telephone. At
times i, il bilious and not inclined 70 talk.
/ yell back; Mr. X--has just gone out,
and II they growi and SHOW signs Of impa-
tience call What that? Give that TO
me again. or Don't stand 20 close TO the
instrur ent.' In this way they work OIL
their bile and become ailable-that Is, a.
afable a. man you owe money 10 ever APP