Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-10-30

Mites view OF the affair, whether In chan or
downright good earnest he could not say.
'Hnlioo! Bottles, my man," shouted one
when he entered, "what's this story we hear!
Is 1t possible that Bootles-our immaculate
ard phianthropical Bootles-Oh, Bootlesl
Boobies! how are the mighty fallen!"
',Heysn inquired Bottles sweatly.
vi wouldn't have believed it of you,
Bootles; wouldn't indeed Any other fell
low III che regiment-that soft-headed Lacy
grlnnlng over there, for instance-but our
Boottes-" He broke off as if words could
not express the volumes he thought but
found his tongue AMI went on again before
Bootles could open his mouth. ''Our Boobies
with an acknowledged wife sworn not to
paby- our Boobies a papar' Oh lori"
why didn't you manage better, Bootles?a
cried another. You might have sent her
an oGd flyer now and then. You have
plenty
rs she pretty, Bootlesa' asked third
! was there by any chance a flaw in the
MARRIAGE inquired a fourth
/ DO you think Pm a foolM asked BOTTLES
pleasantly Il tell you it's plant. know
nothing about the creature"
Just my view" struck in Miles 'sJust
what I said last night. It's absurd, you
know, to expect him to own it. No fellow
would. Besides, does Bottles look like the
j father of fine bouncing baby that goes
'Chucka, chuclza, chucS9 It's absurd, you
know
Even Boobies joined in the laugh which
followed and Miles continued:
THE only thing s-and it really is awk-
J ward for Bootles-the extraordinary like
ness. Blue eyes, golden hair, fair complex
ion. [ shCud say mysell''-looking at his
comrade critically at the same age
Boobies was just such a baby as that which
i turned up so mysteriously last night
THAT'S as may be. Any way, the young
I ster is not mine," said Boobies, emphatically;
''and what to do with the little beggar l
don't know
Send it back to it's MOTHER" suggested
| Dawson.
'.But l don't know who the mother is"
Boobies answered, impatiently
ooh, no; so you say. Well, then, the brat
must have growed, like Topsy II [ were
you should send ii to the police station"
THE police station! Oh, no; hang it all.
the poor httle beggar has done nothing to
start the world in that way" Bottles an
swered
''Did any one of you," asked Miles Of the
general company fever hear of chap
called Solomon?
'I-er-did," answered Lacy, promptly
''Hls other name was-er-Fligg The Rev
erend Solomon Fiigg.n
ooh, we've all heard of him! But meant
rather more celebrated person There Is a
story about him-I rather think it's in
Notwithstanding a yell of laughter
Mot Proverbs! WE'LL perhaps its in the
Song of Solomon. It's about two mo hers
,ko onI1b ol haI
aged to smother hers in the night, and find
ing it dead when she woke upin the morning,
Gained the other baby. OF course the other
woman kicked up row, regular shindy,
and they came before Solomon to get the
matter settled. Both claim it, said be.
co., chop it in half, and let each have
share" But you all know the rest How
the real mother gave up her claim sooner
than see the child halved Now in this case.
you see, Boobies hasn't the heart to send the
child off to the police station, as he would
if-h
Here's the colonel said some one at
this point, and in less than two seconds he
appeared.
why Ferrers,' he said, GIVE been hear
ing queer tale about you"
Yes, sir" said Bottles dismally. 'sand
where it will end don't know! Here am
saddled-'
''Well, OF course you know whether the
child has any claim upon you the colonel
began.
'Upon my honor it has not, colonel said
Boobies, earnestly.
''Then that, of course, settles the question:
replied the colonel, with frown at the grin
ming faces along the table II should send
the child to the workhoase Immediately"
'"The workhouseW repeated Boobies re-
Gectively.
''rll bet any one flyer he DON'T" muir
INJURED Miles to his neighbors.
Mot he. Nine. la Mere knew what she
was doing when she picked out Boobies.
He'll get one of the sergeants' wives to look
after it; see if he don't"
After the chief had left the room Boobies
continued his breakfast in silence consider
ing the two suggestions for the disposal of
the child Now, if the truth be told, Boobies
had horror of workhouses He had gone
deeply into the s'Casuar question, and pitied
a tramp from the very Utmost recesses of his
kind heart. 1t fairly made him sick to
think of that benny golden head growing
up among the shorn and unlovelv locks of a
pauper brood-to think OF the little soft
fingers that had twined themselves so conf
IDENTIFY about his own, and had picked at the
embroiderie5 of his mess waistcoat, being
slapped by the matron, or SET as soon as
they should be strong enough to do coarse
and hard word, to develop into the unnat,1-
rally widened and unkempt hand of a MAR
chioness"-to think of that little dainty thing
being nourished on skilly, OF on whatever
hard fare pauper children are fed-to think
of that little aristocrat being brought up
among the children of thieves and vaoa-
bonds!
con, ccnfound it ALL" he broke out, 81
can't"
4 never expected you could,n retorted
Miles, ''It wouldn't be natural if you did"
This time BOTTLES did not laugh; on tbs
contrary, he looked up and regarded Miles
with grave and searching gaze, rather dis
concerting to that quizzical young gentle
man.
"Are you judging me out OF your ow,2
bushel?' he asked.
''Hows What do you mean" Miles stam-
mered
do you happen to know anything Of the
matter?' Boobies persisted.
Il? Oh, no On my honor don't
''Ah As the colonel said just now, that
settles the question. You're very witty
fellog, Miles. very I shouldn't wonder,
after a while, if you amt quite the sharp
man Of the regiment. Only your jokes are
like the eli WINS jokes at the circus-one gets
to know them. They're in this kind OF way:
" Ever been in Paris, Mr.. Lando:
"sNes of course, Bel
"SEver been in Vienna Mr.. LandoF
"'To be sure, Bell
" Ever been in Geneva, Mr.. Lando?
"'Of course / have, Bell.
" Ever been in Jail, Mr. Lando@
"'Of course l have, Bell-at least that's
to say-l mean-no, of course l haven't
'Why, Mr. Lanio. salc you there
"'You saw me i'll jail, Bell: And what
were you doing to see me-"
"Ohn grandlY, I was staying with the
governor for the good OF my 'ealth.'
''And haunt stealing COW something to
do with it, ch, Bells'
"'Yah. Who stole watcaa
"'A Jersey COW, I'll, Bell?
"'Yah What time is it, Mr. Lando?
"'JuSt about milking time, Bell, my
friend
'sIts all very funny once Won know