Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-09-24
VESUyIUS.
Bill Nye on the Phenomena or Volcanic
Eruptions.


The study of the habits and tempera-
ment of the volcano at distance of
abont 10, 900 miles is one that has al
ways afforded me much pleasure. In
watching and noting the peculiar phe-
nomena of the eruptions ! have almost
lost sight of its attendant dangers.
A volcano is always feverish and
restless till after the eruption, then it
feels better. The first symptoms of
an eruption are cold feet, bad dreams,
bad breath, and dark circles around
the crater. This will be followed by
an uncomfortable feeling in the bowels
of the earth and fluttering pulse.
The volcano is then about to erupt, and
those who live near there had better
sell out at a sacrifice.
One thousand eight hundred and
elghty-four years ago the Roman geog-
rapher and weather-crank, Strabo,
spoke OF Vesuvius as a burnt mountain;
but it had not at that time turned it.
self wrong side out. Quite forest
grew where its crater now stands. For
fifty years Vesuvius had bilious spells,
but kept on drawing its salary without
loss of time. but in A. ID. it turned it
self loose and tore up the ground good
deal. Real estate went to an astonish-
ing height, but became depressed at
once. The south half of the mountain
was jerked loose, as Pliny has il, and
Knocked galley-west. This was fol-
lowed by shower of hot, wet ashes,
which completely obliterated Pompeii
and Herculaneum. Those two towns
have been exhumed lately; but. owing
to the criminal delay of the authorities
in doing so, no lives were saved.
These cities are not covered with
lava. Scientists say that the ruins
were found under deep layer of vol
canic tufa. do not know what tufa
is, but presume the term is perfectly
proper and safe to use in good society.
l have heard of the tufa cigar, which is
sold at the rate of tufa five cents, but
am comparatively ignorant of the
general appearance of volcanic tufa.
This is joke that / thought of N.Y.
self. Times are so close this winter
that l am obliged to originate a good
many of my own jokes and to write
my own autographs. My amanuensis,
who has stood by me SO long and aid
ed me so well. has been discharged.
Autograph-hunters will notice that my
autographs are not so good as when /
had my amanuenss.
For nearly 1000 years Vesuvius then
remained in comatose state, with
only an occasional eruption. Then for
500 years it did not erupt. In 1888, on
the shores of the gulf of Baie, in the BAY
of Naples, new and attractive crater
was opened. 1t was good, easv-run-
ming crater, and the lava was hot when
it came out. Hot lava is not good for
food. 1t hardens the stomach, and
taints the breath with the odor of sui
phur.
In 1851 Vesuvius itself again became
intensely irritable and showed SIGNS of
a morbid desire to erupt. During the
1900 of quiet the crater had been COW
cred over with forests infested by the
wild boar of Italy,and the tame bore of
England The slopes of the mountain
were cultivated up to the foot of the
cone, and Sunday-school picaics
swarmed over the grecn-swards ut its
base.
Suddenly, in the latter part of De-
cember, Ncsuvius rose on its hind feet
and painted Rome red All Southern
Europe and a part of York State were
covered with ashes and debris from the
internal economy of the volcano. Many
people were killed who had never pre-
viously lost their lives. The way We
suvius slung hot mud at the Neapolitan
hordes that fall was solemn warning
to the puny pushers of putrid politics
in the land of the free and the home of
the brave. The beautiful cities of
Tore del Greco and Tore dell An
nunziata would have persisted if they
had not spread the names of the towns
over themselves and escaped. A good
long name in Italy is rather to be chos-
en- than riches.
About every ten years since the above
date, Vesuvius has been liable to jar
the country and shake down few
towns, covering the people with stuff
that is entirely useless. The eruption
of Vesuvius is fine sight at night
No doubt that there will always be
more or less apprehension on the part
of spectators until some American
''rustler' puts damper in the crater
OF Vesuvius, so he can regulate the
eruption. AT present those spasms
are too irregular and too vehement
Ingleside.