Smyrna times., 1885-07-08
WHOLE NO. 1868.
HERE AND ELSEWHERE.
The -four of the South-peanuts.

@Au'''I -OI DOngOla.
The law in Kentucky is at present
the pistol and shot gun.
Boarding-house keepers derive M
Deneft from the foul weather.
General Grants physicians are iudp.
ing now altogether by indications.
Money never yet has bought the
ahectlon OF dog nor his bark either.
We are not all vain. but ali are more
or less susceptible to mashed potatoes.
fla squire has any inclination at all
now to become a parson he is called a
squarson.
For good many wears Ned Bunt.
iihe - averaged $4,000 year in writ
ing books.
The great Seal of England is in two
halves something like the lids Of two
sauce pans.
The substitution of unmeaning ." It's
for " it " is getting the new old revisers
into trouble.
The new Drexel Bank at Fifth and
Chestnut streets is fire proof until a
fire takes place
Holes punched in coin are prized
IN China, because they can be strung
around the neck.
The best decriptiOn extant of Mag
ara Falls was written by man who
never saw them.
5000, 900 pounds of dynamite is now
under contract to be made for the New
York city acqueduct.
The late Prince Frederick Charles
OF Germany, is ketching it in Eng
land for wife beating.
The Butler House force of Senate
employees are dropping from the paw
rolls like June peaches.
The Geodedic Survey tells that not so
many years ago the Pacific slope was a
region of steep glaciers.
Heretofore Maryland wife beaters
are barbarOusly whipped rs the New
York papers would say
No attention is paid these mornings
IN getting up to make the fire about
catching the early worm.
The season for prominent business
men to be found in sad plights in out
of-the-way places is here.
Buffalo Bill is coming money in
showing up the realities of wild ives.
tern life in Eastern cities.
The impediments to the successful
working Of cable cars are SO serious
that it is not to be cabaled at.
Our esteemed contemporary saws a
Northwest paper is as dry as the re-
port OF quarterly conference.
A carrier pigeon was let 90 at New
Orleans to take flight to its its cote
at keyport, \. j., Of ,l3O miles.
Victor Hugo died worth 81 POO, 900
and ordered that he should be taken to
the cemetery in a pauper's hearse.
If the Saturday half holiday once
gets fairly inaugurated, many a church
on Sunday will be closed for repairs.
A talk between two straightout Re-
publicans =" By grabs, brother, we
Country newspapers have one equiv
ocal encouragement. If they are not
laughed with" they are laughed at"
When an Irish girl is a brunette
her dark hair and complexion, and
large, lustrOus black eyes causes her
to pass for creole.
Women display rare tact in paving
no attention to the peevishness Of their
husbands at breakfast. Their turn
comes towards night.
In consequence of the number of
nOn-church-gOers, Sunday becomes the
golden clasp that binds together the
volume of the snOoze.
Partisan cafes are introducing a
small, hard-baked cake in the shape of
a spoon and as white as the plate of
ice cream it is stuck into.
Not single regiment or company of
the Pennsylvania National Guard will
take part in the National Military En-
campment, now being held at Fair
mount Park, Philadelphia.
Daniel NJ Fox, the new Superinten-
dent of the Philadelphia Mint, is fa-
miliariZing himself with the duties of
the position by counting $4,000, 900 in
gold bars and $S,0OO,00O in silver.
That most difficult of all things, to
find II humming birds nest, has been
lately discovered. 1t was an inch in
diameter, the same in depth and con-
tanned three eggs about the size of
peas.
Barnum having bought the white
elephant from the King of Siam, the
king sends the money back here by an
ambassador to have four small steam
ers built, thus one good turn begets
another.
r. Il. Gill and wife left Baltimore on
the 27th ult., for Atlantic City. Upon
reaching that place it was discovered
that Mrs. Gill's caba was missing, con-
tanning $4,000 in diamonds and Jew
elry besides bank notes to the value of
800.
A mule was taken from the mines at
Latimer, Luzerne county, Pa, the
other day, after an incarceration under
the ground of seventeen years The
old chap was stone blind from his long
stay in the darkness and his once coal
black color had turned gray.
On the 2Sth ult., James d. Fish, ex-
president of the Marine Bank, of New
York, was taken to Auburn Prison to
serve out a ten years sentence. The
first day he sat in the receiving cell in
citizens clothes, sad, solitary and
alone" the next he was dressed in
convict's garb, numbered and set to
work.
Every town of any size should sus-
tain natatOrium to teach children how
to swim for this reason =" Sandie,"
said college professor to a Scotch fer
ryman about to take him across the
river, "do you know Greek ?" Nae,
my laird, dee nae" Then, said
the professor, you'll never reach the
top" Presently the boat upset and
Sandie asked the professor if he could
swim. mo, 1 cannot, Sandie."
"Then," replied Sandie, fra tn top
top yell soon gang to tn bottom"
A writer in a Washington paper tells
how Odlum could have made his leap
from the Brooklyn Bridge in safety.
He says when engaged once in an
eight-stOried sugar refinery deep pool
of water occupied the bottom of the
elevator shaft and he experimented by
Jumping from the first story into this
nool. and SO on up until finally he