The National tribune., 1885-06-11

Retg York Tribune:
Two beers. two ginger alcs, and a glass Of
water" ordered one Of five friends who dropped
into German restaurant at Steinway's on Sunday.
The waiter seemed bewildered
boo peer, doc geenger. one"
Water, water. A glass OF water"
"Wader?"
YES water, plain water"
He shook his head incredulously and fetched two
beers, two ginger ales and a rye-bread- and-barn
sandwich.
why do you have your choir behind the con-
gregation?" stranger asked member of one Of
our fashionable churches.
well, know it's fashion now to have it in front,
and used to have ours there. But you see that
little tenors new Spring suit was so loud that no
body could hear the organ. We Ike the change
very much and the music really seems TO be bet
ter"
Boston Transcript: Why are they called pyra-
mids, PAP" asked George, who was looking at O
picture of those wonders of Egypt. They are
called pyramids, my son." replied his father with
out hestatng, because, you see, they appear amid
the general desolation of the desert"
Lo'reH Courier: Hellcbore viii kill enrrant worms
just as it did before the new version.
Altoona (Pa.) Tribune: A teacher in of the Al
toona schools recently electrified her pupils, who
were annoying her with questions: Children, L
tonishment, she added: But not to any fool Of a
man." and the excitement died away.
Troy Times: Pickens County, Ga. has post
office named Talking Rock" The origin of the
name is thus stated. Some one discovered in the
vicinity large stone upon which had been painted
the words, Turn me over" 1t required cOnsid-
cradle strength TO accomplish this and when il was
done the command " Now turn me back and let
fool some one else was found painted on the
under side of the stone.
Life: Judge" Murphy, you are drunk again"
M" Yesh, your-ronor." J.-"Didn't you sol
emily promise me- when I let you Off last time.
that you would never get drunk again. NJ
"Yesh your fonor; but wush drunk at the time,
yourronor. i wushnt sponsible for what shaid."
r. J. Burdette: My daughter. when you note THAI
the man who wants to marry you is just too aw-
fully anxious TO learn whether you can bake loaf
of bread or wash shirt with Chinese dexte-i.y,
before yon close the negotiations do you just lily
around and ascertain whether that man Is either
willing able to enough -four to make bis
cult and if he has paid for the shirt he wants you
to wash. Nine times out of 10 daughter, the man
who only wants to marry housekeeper can he
Kept more economically in the workhouse than he
can in your fathers house.
NelO Yor. Graphic: Railroad Iresident-'' DoH't
you think that rather exOrbtan., Mr.. Badger. Sil.-
coo for the loss of your wife and her diamonds n
| the accident" -.-.si.t s, 30. s.l5-
Dir. Badger Indignant -" Exorbitant, Well.
should say not! 1 value the diamonds at 5000
alone"
Chicago Herald: At the station down in Indiana
the Lake Shore Company employs lady ticket
agent. She is a good agent and attends closely 20
her business but she is woman still. The other
day lady traveller stepped up to the ticket win
| dow and inquired about train that little
| late.
d" Will the train be long," she asked, meaning Ii
| it would be long in arriving.
"Oh yes, was the reply of the fair ticket agent,
Longer than last season, but without many ruff
| Ges around the edge"