Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-05-22
THE SAYINGS OF SAM JONES
What the People 60 Cut to Hear

It's the tide of worldiness that's
playing upon the homes of this city
that's running it.
There's many a big, fat, well-fed
member of the church in this town
who will pull down 20Opounds avoir-
dupois, but if he be put on Gods
scales his weight would not be felt.
Laughter.
Suppose your son gets religion,
brother, like you've got it, he'd have
religion with a vengeance, wouldn't
he? Sister, if your daughter were to
get religion like you've got ii, would
MT she turn over the town?
Nashville is rotten at the top
There's where she's breaking down
There's more sin in the highest cir
cles than in the lanes and alleys and
byways. May God reform the Judges
and Majors and Colonies in this city.
There's not one in ten of them that's
worth killing.
Some of the best card-players,
drinkers and theatre-goers in this
city are members of the church. AT
the billiard saloons the church menu
bers crowd out the sinners. That's
the sort of churches you've got.
you old Presbyterian" pointing
to some man in the audience, "you
stand out there laughing when it
hasn't been twenty-four hours since
you sneaked in the side door OF a sa-
loon and took a drink. You ought
to be crying. You who keep up these
things have got only one more step to
take, unless God arrests you, and
that is to hell"
You've got men here you think
are good but just take those same
men when they are in New York.
My, my, my! They are as piOus as
can be round town, but did you ever
go fishing with any of EN-? There's
a fishing club in Chattanooga and
the members went out fishing lately
and took thirteen minnows and iif-
teen gallons of whisky.
There isn't preacher under this
tent but who is better man and q
better preacher than me, but | say
the gospel of Jesus Christ is made.
quate to reach the depths of depravi-
ty in this city, or that gospel hasn't
been preached here in its fullness,
one or the other. A voice: "Amenw
That's two amens. Laughter pro
longed.
These church members are like tht
trains on the Nashville Il Chattanooga
Railroads-they shed all their ligh
ahead on their own track and leave
little, old blue light hanging on thu
rear TO the sinners out in the dark
There are two examples or model
in every town that have bad eilec
upon the whole people. One is TIL,
church member who will pay when
ever he is asked; who will 90 t,
church on Sunday, but who won
pay his debts. The other is a SHINE
: who don't belong to the church, bu
who pays every dollar he owes, give
freely to charitable purposes and i
generally respected. The SHINE
comes along, looks at the two AM
says, "Fd rather be that last fellow.
Now, what do you want to be lik
airy one of them for? That's what
want to know.
| am no theologlan. | neve
= studied theology. l despise theolog
y and botany, but l do love religio
i and flowers.
Z Some of you old church member
are still using the two-wheeled ell
CINE, and the devil Is sure to cate
l you. He has fixed up his rolling
S stock, and eau run a mile while yO
C are putting on your boots.
5 One person says l can't keep hous
and be religious; the servants are S
S provoking. fear there is sometime
h more religion in the kitchen than i
C the balance Of the house. Vociferou
: laughter.
t There is one meeting l think til
c devil don't attend, and that is I'll
z average city prayer meeting. l don
!; think he regards these meetings as {
Il all dangerous. They are not wort
l. while attending. We Christians licen;
n liquor selling to tighten our take
1t and then stand around and cuss' Ell
If because they sell it. If half of the
II Methodists and Baptists would gu
drinking, the bar-roOms would clio
II up in less than six months.
1t Let the spider legged dudes hay
d all the fun they can at these huggil
st matches here, for they will find
II too warm to hug while they dan
IS in the next world they will go to.
lc Some of the newspapers are tryir
l. TO cry me down. If the newspape
10 can say any harder things about II
ii than l can say about the newspape
t, let them pitch in. This is a fir
ii country.
t; Twelve years ago l cOnsecrated m
e, self 10 God, and since that time ha
id never had an invitation TO ball.
a | know whisky men. | used
mix and drink with them, and
Of know no bigger hearted men in Il
at world. l can 60 to a whisky mi
10 and he will do me favor when IL
id a church member will do it for III
k, But did you know that statistics sho
III that nine barkeepers out of every t,
tie die drunk?
III That old colonel, an old cuss, W
ID say cts my opinion so-and-so."
of dozen young men will hear and
I'd off saying: ats my opinion so-an
is So" They get their opinions fro
u the old colonel, and he gets his fro
a hell. There are too few people wi
T. think and too many that have OPT
in ions.
Of l never thought birds sang sweet
n, or trees looked greener after | g
to religion. l have heard old chur,
I'd members tell Of these things and
h. thought what blessed think to ha
l. that kind of an experience, until
i'll read the same sort of an experien
l. in book. and now every time he
nc this l wonder if that fellow has rel
st that book.
t. BE honest and pay your deb
I'd There's too many men Ill the chur
n boarding with their wives.
o. What's culture worth fits nothil
ne but whitewash on a rascal?
to I'd rather be in Heaven LEARNT
Is, my A, B, C's than in hell readl
ch Greek.
There were some rich men-thC
.,t aI