Morning journal and courier., 1885-09-12
-- TAP.

As Spain doesn't seem disposed to hold her Yap, Germany decided to hold it for her. Boston Transcript.
 The Waterbury Watch company makes 300, 900 watches a year. It would take a big thing to wind up that eoncern.-LowelI Courier.
 A Cape May correspondent writes: s'I have just seen the latest bathing costume for ladies'" It is inferred that he used a very powerful magnifying glass. ss.-Norristown Her aid.
 "so you married in haste." .'Yes, if you want to put it that way" And you repent ed at leisurea' 'tNo, sir; married widow who kept boarding house. I didn't have any leisure. .'-NeW York Graphic. We have seen a man so free from envy that he could see fly who preferred his neigh bor's nose to his own, without feeling at all angry with said neighbor or having any ill-feeling toward said fy.-Boston Tran script.
 ''Oh, George, how superlatively still, clear and beautiful is the night!" she whispered leaning her finely veined temple against his coat collar; ''how soothing, how restful!'
 ''Yes," he replied, toying with her chest nut aureole hair; ''what night to shoot catsl''
 Girls in India wear rings in their noses It must be interesting for young man, jus as he is about to snatch large and full blown kiss, to have about eighteen karats O. brass drop into his mouth and take all tn, sweetness out of the xperience.-Atlantt Constitution.
 "Great heavensl woman, what is that but ter made ofs" asked boarder. Don't you think it is good?" mildly responded the land lady. in Yankee style. 'sI should say not. 'Well, you don't know what you are talking about" '1 admit it" calmly replied he.-
 Oil City Blizzard.
 'Poor John was so fond of gambling, , said bereaved widow. E'His last bet was $50 that he could eat three hundred clans ir twenty minutes '.Did he win the bet?' "Yes, he won the bet" sighed the widow ''but the money didn't do us any good. Il took every cent of it to bury him. ."-New York Sun.
 "Now, you young scamp said Binks senior, he led his youngest out to the woodshed and prepared to give him dress ing down, 'I'll teach you what is what.
 ''No, pa," replied the ineorrigible, ''you1 teach me which is switch.'' And then the old mans hand fell powerless to his side.- Rambler.
 A Boston writer thinks that the sexes are drifting apart. We hold that this depends on circumstances. When mother suddenly brings light into the dark parlor the sexes drift apart very suddenly, but there seems to be an affinity, as it were, when the light is turned down low or extinguished, which drifts the sexes together again. Philadelphia Call.
 St. Louis society items: The Ornalu fam fly of Grand-ave have given S1 ,0OO for coat of arms, representing pig tail rampant on a green field of corn.-AIiss Kittie Newcome gives her pet poodle magnetic baths every day. A few days ago the little pet scalded the hair off his hind legs by stepping back ward into cup of hot tea which Miss Kittie drinking. Chicago Rambler.
 ''I would like to go on your paper," the graduate said, sitting down and looking the editor firmly in the eye. And so you shall, the journalist replied, gladly; ''you are the man I have been looking for, To, these six weeks" And with nervous haste he wrote note for $125. 'sThere," he said, ''put your name right there, just under mine. " Free Press