St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-04-02
SHOT ON THE WING.
Work of the Wits and Romances of the Pr

Work of the Wits and Romances Of the Press.
IT ALL DEPENDS.
From the Oil City Blizzard.
''Such splendid sermon ~ said Mrs. K,
as she sailed maiestieally out of church Sun
day morning. "Wasn't it dull and prosy this
morning?" said half dozen other ladies.
Mrs. x. wore new dress, the finest at church
on this particular occasion and all the others
had seen it.
WHAT SHE WANTED TO HEAR.
From the Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
s'And so you like the yarns we sea-dogs
spin?" asked the gallant young mariner.
81 dote on them!'' the yonng lady passion
ately responded.
''And what shall tell you of the doings of
US salts!" he tenderly asked.
ooh, tell me how you luff!'' she innocently
answered.
WHERE THEY HAVE THE BEST OF Us.
From the Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Life must be very pleasant on the Congo.
Instead of man having to rush home at 1
p. m. to give his wife four hours to prepare
for the opera and then wait another half
hour on the front steps until the two hundred
and odd forgotten things are found ana ar
ranged, the Congo husband strolls home
few minutes before the performance begins
and simply says, "Sarah, adjust your hairpin.
We will go to the opera"
SWEETS TO THE SWEET.
From the Boston Courier.
''I'm going to get married." said he, as
he placed hand upon the counter as
large as a Dutch cheese, ''and / want we'd
ding cake.''
sit iscustomary," said the pretty bakery
girl, nowadays to have the materials of the
cake harmonic with the calling of the bride
groom. For musician, now, we have an oat
cake, fora man who has no calling and lives
upon his friends, the sponge cake, for a
newspaper Photographer, spice cake, and SO
On; what is your calling, please?"
'1'm pugilist."
''Then you want pound cake"
HONESTY THE BEST POLICY.
From the Philadelphia Call.
eyes" said the Honest Farmer. IT know
there are people what always puts the big
apples at the top of the barl but don't"
That's rght,'' exclaimed the deacon ad-
miringly. Il have always tried to convince
folks that that sort o. thing don't pay in the
long rum
eff they'd go to the city once in while
they'd learn. something. 1 always puts my
big apples at the bottom of the bar'l.''
''That's the way
eyes; you see people has got so suspicious
that they 'most always open the bar'l at the
bottom Nowadays
AMICABLY ADJUSTED.
From the Detroit Free Press.
He was man considerably past middle
age, and his fellow passenger in the car was
a woman of 40 with market basket He
moved AROUND uneasily for few minutes,
and then braced up and said:
MADAM, am troubled with chilblains.
At this very moment my right heel itches SO
that it is torment for me to sit here. l would
like tO-ask''-
$50 on, SIR" she replied.
''To ask if you would object should 1 re-
move my boot!"
''Not in the least, sir-no sir. / am
troubled with an internal corn on my right
foot, and l was Just wondering why I
shouldn't remove my shoe and give it a rest.
You take that end of the car and I'll keep
this, and our acquaintance goes no further"
1EsTHETIC POKER IN BOSTON.
From the Chicago Rambler.
The intellectual game of draw-poker has
taken firm hold on the jewellers in cultured
Boston, and the teachings of the Concord
School of Philosopy are for time forgotten.
Our special correspondent writes US that he
recently overheard several fair daughters of
the Athens of America INDUCING in this
pleasant pastime, when the following dia-
logue ensued:
Anastasia-Is 1t my aunt2 Oh, yesl well,
there's n solitary check
Clytemnestra-I will bestride your desti-
tute of sight, dear.
Proserpine-Well, draw your cards, girls.
I will remain Patrick.
Millicent-Well, will wager half-score
of checks.
Anastasia-I behold you and elevate you
FIVE.
Proserpine-I fear that you are feigning to
possess more than you really have, but, new
ertheless, dears, call you.
Anastssia L have homogeneous trio Of
aces.
Millicent-And 1 Robert-appendaged
flush.
Proserpine-While I hold quartet of
knaves.
Millicent-well, dear, then you take the
ceramics.