Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-03-26
FACIAL NEURALGIA,
The Victim an Object OF Sincere an
Heart-Rending Pity,

rhe Victim an Object OF Sincere and
Heart-Rending Pity,
1t looks as if it was mighty nice to be
sble to sit by nice fire for a week or
so with nothing to do, but we had
rather maui rails than do it. It's nice,
very nice, to sit tilted back in front of a
fire, with plenty of cigars and lot OF
exchanges, a novel or SO and pair OF
slippers. Oh, yes, it looks Gerry nice,
indeed-to the man who is not sitting
there. With his throat wrapped up in
an army blanket. big towel tied
around his head, bottle of liniment in
one hand, his temples held in the other
and wad of cotton saturated with
laudanum and damned down onto a
row of aching teeth, he is an object of
the most sincere and heart-rending
pity. He takes up a novel. and just as
he gets to where the loving maiden
says: ''Yes, darling, they may say
that you are poor. but 1 love you for
your true worth; be patient, dearest;
twill be but few brief hours till l will
see you in" Tophet! this last word
is used by the man sitting by the fire.
and whose worst jaw tooth has sudden
ly walked up and gone into business
at the old stand.) Down goes the
book and the sufferer jumps into the
center of the floor and executes few
steps that H ghland fling girl in a
variety show might be proud of. In
rushes the faithful little wife, and for a
few minutes the odor of laudanum and
hot towels fills the room. Then the
bad tooth goes to sleep for a VIII lie
and the sufferer gets back into the easy
char and takes up the book again.
But it don't interest him. He has suf-
fered so that the drops of agony still
stand on his forehead and he don't
care whether the hero meets the hero
inc all right, or whether the old man
puts Il load of duck shot into him just
as he (the hero) has reached the latt ce
and is whispering: ''Flee with me, my
own About that time the little wife
comes up with "a rice dinner for
papa" and papa's eyes glisten as he
sees the neat tray W. tn its cup of steam
ing coffee. He gathers it fondly onto
his lap and takes first a sip of coffee.
but alas, the bad tooth and
four others of its brethren on
the upper jaw decide they don t
like coffee and r Sc ght up
on their hind legs and howl. The sick
man bowls. too, and by the time this
little matinee is over, he feels as if he
didn't want to eat anything for the
next ten years. Then after dinner (the
dinner he didn't eat is over, in comes
the consider. The first tn nc he says
is: why don t you get it pull ad?'' 1t!
There's We're the joke comes in.
When a man gets neuralgia in the
head he might stop it by getting all his
teeth, his forehead. his nose and both
ears pulled, but we doubt it. When
neuralgia tackles a man it don't go in
for any four rounds, Marquis of Q.
rules: it just comes to stop and sit
him awhile, and it don't allow itself
to be neglected or forgotten during its
visit. ANY of our readers who have
waded through the above will under
stand why we are glad to ''be on the
streets again n. B.-For sale: one
case of neuralgia Warranted a full
case). Bidders for same can make
their own terms by calling at this
otfice.-Er0nscii1e 44rqus.