davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
He Knew Why He Swore.

A farmer in Victoria county, Texas,
had all his corn cut down by the late
frost. The morning after the frost he
went out and took look at his field.
Then he used profane language for
about half an hour, until a clergyman
happened to ride by and hear the roar.
ing Of The torrest of profanity. The
clergyman demonstrated with the nau.
seated granger, and asked him il he
did no, know where he would land if
he kept that up. "Tha,'s just why l
sweat" responded the farmer, " want
dead sure thing OF getting to a place
where there are no late frosts."
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
Inclination TO Runaway Matches.

Speaking of the natural inclination
oil many girls to run away and get mar
ried, in opposition to their parents
wishes. an elderly friend says the troub.
le can be remedied easily enough if one
knows how to do it. al had to steal
my wife," he remarked, sand l after
ward found out the old folks had put
up job on me. 1t worked so we'll
that when my girls grew up played it
myself. Now, there is EN-, she never
would have married as she did if she
thought her mother and me wanted her
to. took fancy to Jim, who is a
likely fellow, and wanted him for son.
in-law. So got to running him down
before En-; told her she shouldn't 90
with him any more, and finally forbade
him coming to the house altogether"
"And what did she do?" interrupted
the listner.
"She ran of With him the next night,
just as knew she would. l tied the
dogs up myself after dark to keep them
from spoiling the fun. | played the
same trick on Mollie when Bill was
coming TO see her. The night they
went away though l forgot about the
dogs, and Mollie dosed every one Of
'em for fear they'd bite Bill when he
came for her. l got good son-in. law,
but lost every hound on the place. -
B070l;ng GyeeH Critic.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30

"Where do tcampf" he inquired, and
was shown the lower berth next to me.
"That's my pigeon.hole. is it? All
right, old son, just watch my motion
while file myself away"
At this juncture he was desired to
turn over his pistol to the porter, which
he declined to do in very spirited
manner.
"'old Dad This revolSer) and me al.
ways sleep together, and we don't want
no divorce" he explained.
The conductor demonstrated, but was
advised not to try to "braid this mules
tall"
"This here's sleepin' car amt it7"
he at length inquired.
"Yes."
DWELL, why don't you let people
sleep then when they've paid and gone
into your gamer If you're aiming to
keep people awake and want company,
just dance into the next car; there's
lots of folks there don't want to sleep,
nohow. and they'll be glad to see you.
The conductor withdrew, and my
friend pulled off his boots and stretched
himself, with many comments in an un-
dertone, on the poverty Of the surround
ings.
In about ten minutes this erratic per.
son had his head out in the aisle.
"Say. you boy" to the porter.
"Well, sah."
"Come runnin'."
The porter drew near and was hand
ed pillow about as big as a pin .cush-
ion.
"Take this gooseha'r thing away"
commanded the cowboy.
"Don't you want pillow, sah?" in.
quired the porter.
"That ain; no pillow. AMI | don't
want it nohow; I'm afraid i'll! get in
my car"
Aher this, silence, and for a short
time | slept. | reused up, however, at
an exclamation on the part OF my neigh
Dor.
"Iiold on there, my son, jist drap
them boots"
al was only jest going to black 'em,
boss"
"Drap 'em!"
They drapped.
Jest gwine to pull them spurs, l
reckon. Now, don't monkey around
my camp taking things no more. If
you want anything, speak for it. If you
can't speak, make signs, and if you
can't make signs shake bush. You
har me?"
"Yes, sah."
After this, silence. The wheels and
rails again sang together, and the car
again kept approving time. and present.
ly l slept without interruPtion.-Roe&y
| Mountain NezUs.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
What Mama said.

"Are you enjoying your dinner1"
asked Bobby OF the minister, who was
taking a Sunday dinner with the family.
ayes Bobby" responded the minister
pleasantly,
"Mama said this morning that she
thought you would. as she didn't sup
pose that with your small salary and
big family you got much to eat from
one weeks end to the other"
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
such a Nice Name.

Upon one occasion when Artemus
Ward was in London, chidren's par.
ty was arranged by the great humorist.
and to which one of the sons Of John
Bright was invited. "Well," said the
English Statesman to his son, "did you
enjoy yourself. my boy?" "oh, indeed.
did," exclaimed the little Bright,
"and Mr.. Ward gave me such a nice
name for you, papa" "What was
that" inquired the father. "Why, he
asked me how that gay and festive cuss.
the governor, was!" replied the child.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
Prepared for Fooi Questions.

Judge-Did you witness the accident?
Witness--I did.
Judge--At what distance1
Witness-Sixty seven feet and nine
inches.
Judge-How do you know SO exac,ly3
Witness-Well, knew that would
be summoned and prepared myself for
all the foolish questions that l knew
would be put to me in a court Of law.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30

HlENT Id for working people. Send
IN II Au 10 cent postage. and we
W II mail you free, a royal, valuable box OF
goods that will put you In the way of max
ing mere money in Q iew days than you
ever thought possible at any business. Cap
ital is not required. You can live at home
and work In spare time only. or all the time
All of both sexes, of ages. grsndly successful,
SO cents to IS easily earned every evening
That ell who want work may test the bust
ness, we make this unparalleled offer: To all
who are not we'll satisfied we will send 81 to
pay for the trouble of writing us. Full par
ucalars directions, ETC., sent free. Immense
pay absolutely sure for all who start ct once.
Don't delay. Address sTISsoN & Co., Port
land. Maine,
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
DR.. LlERlC's
Wonderful German Tnyigorai,


Permanently prevents all Unnatural Losses
from the system. tones the nerves. strength
ems the muscles, checks the waste, invigor.
ates the whole system. and restores the
afflicted to Health and Happiness.
The REASON so MANY CANNOT GET CURED OF
SEMINAL WEAKNESS, Loss OF MANHOOD ETo.,
rs OWING To A COMPLICATION, CALLED PROS
TATORkHEA WITH hAPERAETHESIA,
WHICH REQUIRES PECULIAR TREATMENT. LE.
LIEBIG's lNvtGoRAToR Is THE ONLY POSITIVE
CURE FOR PROSTATORRHEA, WITH PEctLIAE
SPECIAL TR. ArsENT, USED AT THE LIEBIa
DlSPENsARY
PRIoE OF INvIGoRAToR, s2., Case OF
six bottles. SO Sent to any address. covered
securely froru observation.
Most powerful electric belts free to patients,
To PROVE THE WONDERFUL PowRR Of the
INV GORATUR
a 50 Bottle Given or Sent Free.
Consultation free end private.
Call or address
LIEBIG DIsPENsARY.
400 Gesry Street, San Francisco, Cal.
Private entrance. 405 Mason street, four
blocks up 0eary street from Kesrny, Maia
entrance through Dispenssry Drug Store,
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30

If you are failing. broken. worn out
and nervous, use "wells' Health Re.
newer" 81. Druggists.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
"ROuxh on Corns."

Ask for Wells "Rough on Corns. !"
isc. Quick, complete cure. Hard or
soft corns, warts, bunions.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
.Reugh ON Coughs, ,

Ask for "Rough on Coughs" for
Coughs, Colds, Sore Throat, Hoarsness.
Troches, IS cts. Liquid, rs cts.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
"ROmRh on Rats

Clears out rats, mice, reaches, flies,
ants, bed-bugs, skunks, chipmunks. 60
piers. IS cts. Druggists.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30

Palpitation, Dropsical Swellings, Dir
ziness, Indigestion, Headache, Sleep
lessness cured by Wells Health Re-
newer
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30

IsnDedi mn emtA 10 Marriage. etC..
from exeesses or Youthful F0llieA
a. amy Cause. speedily, safely and
privat' cured.
YOUNG, MIDDLE AGED and OLD men.
and all who need medical SKILL and EX-
PERIENCE, consult the old European Ply.
sician at once His opinion costs nothing
and may save future misery aud shame.
When incoD venien. to visit the city for treat.
ment, medicines can be sent everywhere by
express, FREE FROM CbsERvATION. u
is self-evident that physician who gives his
whole attention to o class of diseases ATTAINs
GREAT SKILL. and physicians throuRhout
the country, knowing this, frequently recon-
mend difficult cases to the OLDEST SPEC
IALIST, by whom every known GOOD REM
EDY is used The Doctors AGE and EXPF-
RIENCE make his opinion Of SUPREME
IMPORTANCE.
s0rThose who call see no one but the Doc
tor. Consultations free and SACREDLY
CONFIDENTIAL. Gases which have failed
IN obtaining RELIEF elsewhere especially solic.
tied. Female diseases successfully treated.
THE DOCTOR will agree TO forfeit 81 600
for q case undertaken not cured. Call or
write. Hours: Daily, from 9 A. n. to4 p. NJ.
TO evenings: sundays. 10 to IL only. SEED
FOR THE SANIrARler GUIDE TO HEALTH; SENT
FREE. Address as above.
a%The services of the celebrated old Ger
man Physician, DIR. o. GIRARD, from Stras-
burg. have been secured at the LIEBlG DIS
PENSARY. His fame as Q Specialist fer dis
eases of men Is universally known, and hun
dreds are daily availing themselves of the
opportunity of free consultation, personally
or by letter, in all languages.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
Catarrhal Throat Anections.

Hacking, irritating Coughs, Colds, Sore
Throat, cured by "kough on Colds. 3"
Troches, I5c. Liquid, 25c.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30

Board can bs hsd by the day, week or
month st reasonable ratios. First class sc.
sAsassdsttons fog tFsapsients.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
.Rough ON Pain y Pourous Plaster

Strengthening, improved, the best for
backache, pains in chest or side, rheu-
matism, neuralgia.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30

THIS horEL HAS RRoRNTLY BEEN
every way AEst-clsas estabiishment.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30

SPECIALIST AND GRADUATEJ
No. IL Kearny st. San Francisco,
Treats all Chronic, Special and Private Dis
eases with Wonderful Success
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-05-30
HE GREAT ENGLISH REMEDY

Is q never-failing
Cure for Nervous
Debility. Exhausted
Vitality, Seminal
Weakness, sperms-
torrh9a, l. d 3 r.
m AN HOOD. In
potency. Paralysis,
Prostatorrhoes, and
all the terrible ef-
fects of Self-Abuse, +,
youthfulfollies,a and
excesses in meturer
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
The Hand.Organ Man.

The boys played a mean trick on
an old deaf and dumb organ grin.
der the other day, says an exchange
They took out the cylinder, and be
went around the streets stopping
before every door and grinding
with a vim. He was surprised at
the amount he had taken in; every.
body gave literally, and he noticed
that he wasn't ordered of once, nor
was one bull dog set on him; be
had never seen the people in such
good humor, and he didn't know
why ii was until 10 the evening be
opened up his machine to oil it,
and to drive in a few loose notes
here and threre; but, instead Of get
ting mad, and using up all the deaf
and dumb vocabulary, he took the
hint, and now goes around grind
ing his empty organ, and is doing
more business than all the other
wholesale music merchants in
town,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
Frightening children.

With painful frequency we hear
ofCruel practical jokes perpotrat.
ed upon children. Again and
again comes to US the old story of a
child frightened into colvulsions
by a playfellow who "only wanted
to have a little fun" One would
think that incidents like this had
been enacted and told with easily
iteration often enough from genera
tion to generation to warn of the
most incorigible fun.lovers and
fools from the perilous ground.
The progress Of the witless plot is
generally the same up to a certain
point. There is neither original.
ity nor variety in the fayorite mode
ofexecution. 1t sounds trite in
the telling. A figure wrapped in
the conventional sheet lurking in
the dark corneF q spring upon the
unsuspecting victim, selected be.
cause he is the most timorous or
delicate Of the family orschool; dis.
may, shrieks of anguish blent with
goblin laughler-then a difference
in the ending. Sometimes no ap.
parant harm is done, unless that
one child is made more timid,
another more cruel. Again, the
nervous system is unbalanced so
far that a swoon, or; as in the case
before US, convulsions, ensue,
Once in a while the innocent sub.
ject of the practical joke pay for
his tormentor's prank with his
reason or his life. In a less flag
rant manner inCalculable mischief
is done in many nurseries by tales
ofghosts, bogies, the black man who
comes down the chimney to catch
children who will not go to sleep
quietly, etc. The mother is culpa.
BILE who, when she finds her child
unduly timid, does not watch mar.
rowly for indications that the nery.
GUS organism of her offspring has
been tempered with, and who,
should hersuspicions be confirmed,
does not follow the clue to it's
source and Danish the criminals
from her household. Babyhood.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
Does ii Pay to be a Loarer?

Does the young man who insists
on being a loafer ever reflect how
much less it would cost to be a de.
cent, respectable man? Does be
imagine that loaferism is more
economical than geutility2 Any.
body can be a gentleman, if he
chooses to be, without much cost,
but it is expensive to be a loafer.
1t costs time in the first place
days, weeks and months Of it; in
fact, about all the time he has, for
no man can afford to be q first class
loafer without devoting his entire
time to it. The occupation, we'll
followed, hardly affords time for
eating, sleeping, dri-, we had al
most said drinking, but on reaec.
ton we expect that the loafer can
always find time to drink, when.
ever invited, at the cost of friends.
It costs money, for though the loaf.
or may not earn a cent, or have
one for months, the time lost might
have procured him much money
if devoted to industry, instead Of
slOth. It costs health, vigor, com.
fort, all the true pleasures of liv.
ing, honor, dignity, self respect,
and the respect Of the world when
living, and finally all right Of con.
sideratiOn when dead. Be a gen.
tleman then; it is cheaper.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
A Word TO The Boys.

Ashamed Of work, boys2-good,
hard, honest work. Then l am
ashamed that you know so little oil
great men.
Open your old Roman history
now, and read of Cincinnatus. On
the day on which they wanted to
make him dictator, whore did they
find him2 In the field plOughing,
What about Marcus GURUS, who
drove Pyrrhus out Of Italy2 Look
him up; you will find him busy on
his farm.
The great Cato; you have surely
heard Of him-how he rose 10 all
the honors Of the Roman state; yet
he was often seen at work in the
fields with his slaves,
scipiO Africanus, who conquered
Hannibal and won Carthage for
Rome, was not ashamed to labor
on his farm.
Eucretia, one Of the noblest Of
Roman matrons, might have been
seen many a day at work spinning
among her maidens,
Better even than the example Of
noble Romans is the advice Of The
wise man; whatsoever thy hand
indeth to do, do i! with Thy
might" Better than this even are
the beautiful New Testament
words: "Not slothful in business
teFVent in spirit serving the
Therel after hearing Of these in
stances YOU will surely be ashamed
not to work.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06

n. Queenwrile, from Johnston. ".
Va, that he has been rorely afflicted for
fcyefal 7eart, buthe was urged 10 Try Pr.
RpsA, which he did, and lie now feels
that he about over he trouble, and con.
fiderr i the greatest medicine IN The
world. Hesiythe has to &c or send 4
distance offfieen miles to obtain Preu.
IA, BUTT will repay him Tor this
Ellwood Shallcross, former editor 81
the Saturday Journal, Wheeling, w. Va,
tsys: Gcafifgtsf Some time ago /
was afflicted with apain In my back m the
region Of The kidneys, and suffered con.
tideFably. Having read your advertise.
inent, wentto Logan & Co, Of lhis city,
and purchased boitie Of psRuaA, which
Itook, and Il resulted IL The complete re.
nioyal Of lhepain Think ] can saieIy
Ieeommendit asa superior panaeea for
pains
Mr.Aaron shrefier, Alma, Marion eo,In.
y, ~, writes; sDe. S. b. tisRrMAy &
Co, Columbus, %. Deay Sirsf MyseIf and
wife haYetaken three bottles OF your med.
,hsr, NJ ~ i.a -. gs1sas sas
neuralgia, headache and weak stomach.
Her headachehas not troubled her for lhe
lasttwo weeks, and her stomach Is much
better. She took only PERuNA. Insed
both medicines, and my general health Is
tomueh improved that l feel like 4 new
man. My stomach Is very much better,
r;sbt Wsis,esl Il tss, tst;n Sy M !. A.
ieines ,,niil We AZ nsrn,snsn.iy , ss a.
sEyan. n lone. Pro.n.st S.,;o~ .S e.
o., SAYS: X Aiter having taken medicine
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
Push

.
Ifthers was more push 10 the
world there wcnldibefemer
half clothed homeless, saifeFing
children fewer broken down, dissi,
pated men and womenj lessnsed d
aims houses, houses Of correction
and homes for Che friendlsss.
Push means ALT fora neighbor
in trouble. Push means d liz ior
yourself out ofthe slough ofdispon-
dency and sbitilessness, out d
trouble, real.oriancied Push new
Of hurts anybody The harder the
push The better Il il is given in
the right direction. Always push
uphill few people need a push
down hill. Don'tbe afraid Of your
muscles and sinews they we're Civ
on 10 use. Don't be afraid Of yonr
hands they we're meantfor service,
Don't be afraid Of vha. your com.
panicns maysay. Don't be afraid
Of your conscience; 1t will never
reproach yolfor a good deed but
push with all your heart, might
and soul, whenever you see any.
thing oranybody thaswill be bet.
ter for a good, long, strong, detsrm-
ined push.
Pushl It's just the wordfo the
grand, clear morning Of life; it il
just the word for strong arms and
young hearts; it is inst the word
for a world that is full Of work as
this is. 1fanybody is in trouble,
and you see it, don't stand back,
pushl
Ifthere is anything good being
done in any place where you hap.
pen to be, pushl
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
Rncl,Ien,a Arnien GnIrn

The Best Salt in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fs.
yer Sores, letter, Chappcd Hands, Chill.
blains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions,
and positively cures Piles, or no pay re,
quired, ltisguaranteed to give perfect
satisfaction, or money refunded. Price
% CtS' per box. For sale by WIS. Hoy,
Druggist. dec. lo-ly.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06

1.-The hospital. Billy was worse, il
said, and wished % see me very
much indeed. Sol puton my hat
oyefccat and prepared 70 iace lhe
binding snowstofm.
When / finally entered tie room
tie doctor who was in attendance
grsyely shook his head one glance
Iat Billy face told me that be was
sinking fast Isoflly went up %
him, and, opening his eyes, the
poor fellow reached out his hand
with smile upon bis face
eMeesler Raymond Il was
with the greatest difficulty be
spoke" you've gone. Iyasgladt,
sair gladt Nina
Hehanded me a strip Of paper
that was crumpled upinhis bands,
II was q telegram. In IL Nina an
nounce her safe arrival at New
York She wanted Wilhelm 70
meether atthe Little Miami de,
pc. that night. Billy locked upal
me with an anxious look in biz
eyes.
eAllright, old friend" / said
with a glance at my watch. 1.-THE
train Is almost due now. / will
bring her I'd your
He gave my hand a silent press
ure, and ! hurried away. BY The
time | reached Che depot the train
had already arrived. In the al.
most-deserted waiting.room ] found
o young German girl talking con
tusedly to the trainmen. 1t wai
Nina, KNEW, and / went up t.
Eher.
II took me some time 10 explain
matters. Soon we we're whilinl
in a carriage to the hospital.
When she saw her lover a bittel
sob escaped from her lips, and she
knelt by his bedside. Throwing
ibis arms weakly around her neck
Billy stroye to comfort her.
"Ah, Nina, dear one, do not cry
he said, in the language Of his be
loved Fatherland. at will not b.
long now before l am we'll again
and then we will be happy-s'
happy"
But it was not to be. When thC
chill, gray dawn stole in at th'
window Billy was asleep with Mi
mas hand still clasp in his own
But it was the sleep that knows nj
wakingl
This was years ago. Nina isliv
ing out now on Walnut Hill.
often see her with a look of troubl,
on her pale, sweet face, that TIM
has softened, and my heart goes ou
To her.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
Never give Up.

Iiyou are suffering with low and de
pressed spirits, loss of appetite, genera
debility, disordered blood, weak Consti
tuition, headache, or any disease Of
bilious nature, by all means procure
bottle Of Electric Bitters. You will b,
surprised to see the rapid improvement
that will follow; you will be inspired
with new life; strength and activity viii
return; pain and misery will cease, ant
henceforth you willrejoicc in the praise
Of Electric Bitters. Sold at flfty.cents ,
bottle by W, S. Hoy, Druggist.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
A Great Discoyery.

Mr.. VIM. Thomas, Of Newton, Iowa
says; "Mywite has been seriously affect.
ed with a cough for twenty-five years,
and this spring more severely than ever
before. She had used many remedies
without relief, and being urged to try
Dr. Kings New Discovery, did so, with
most gratifying results. The first bottle
relieved her very much, and the second
bottle has absolutely cured her, She
has not had so good health for thirty
years." Trial Bottle Free atw. S. Hoyis
Drug Store. Large size sl.OO.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06
The most dangerous of all flattery
10 The iuferiOrity Of those about US.
ON From Nature,s XYeIIs.

The skin on the head is kept soft and
flexible bya secretion from the oil glands
When these are clogged the hair dries
and falls of. Parker's Hair Balsam re-
news their action, restores the Original
color to the hair and makes II soft and
glossy. It also eradicates dandruiF. =
Not greasy, not a dye, dellciously per
Tuned. Delightful for a lady's toilet Ia.
ble' The best Of dressings. Preferable
70 all similar articles because Of its So.
pstlor cleanliness and purity.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-05-06

A resident of Goshen some time
ago, forced his daughter to take a
large dose of castor oil by way Of
punishment for going to the skat.
ing rink contrary to his orders.