The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-04-04
Bill Nye as an AgrfcuIturist.

During the past season | was consid-
erably interested in agriculture. l met
with some success, but not enough to
madden me with joy. 1t takes good
deal of success to unscrew my reason
and make it totter on its throne. I've
had trouble with my liver, and various
other abnormal conditions of the vital
organs, but old reason sits there on his
or her throne, as the case may be,
through it all.
Agriculture has a charm about it
which 1 cannot adequately describe.
Every product of the farm is furnished
by nature with something that loves it,
SO that it will never be neglected The
grain crop is loved by the weevil, the
Hessian fly, and the chinch bug; the
watermelon, the squash and the cucum-
Der are loved by the squash bug; the
potato is loved by the potato bug; the
the sweet corn is loved by the ant, thou
sluggard; the tomato is loved by the
cut-worm; the plumb is loved by the
curculio, and so forth, SO that no plant
that grows need be wall flower.
Early blooming and extremely 'drawf
joke for the table. Plant as soon as
there is no danger of frosts in drills
four inches apart. When ripe, pull it,
and eat raw with vinegar. The red
ants may be added to taste.
Well, I began early to spade up my
angle worms and other pets, to see if
they had withstood the severe winter.
1 found they had. They were unusual
ly bright and cheerful. The potato
bugs were little sluggish at first, but
as the spring opened and the ground
warmed up they pitched right in, and
did first rate. Every one of my bugs
in May looked splendidly. was most
worried about my cut worms. Away
along in April l had not seen a cut
worm, and l began to fear they had
suffered, and perhaps perished in the
extreme cold of the previous winter.
One morning late in the month, how
ever, l saw cut worm come out from
behind a cabbage stump, and take off
his ear-muff. He was little stiff in
the joints, but he had not lost hope. l
saw at once now was the time to assist
him if l had a spark of humanity left.
1 searched every work l could find on
agriculture to find out what it was that
farmers fed their blamed cut worms,
but all scientists seemed to be silent.
1 read the agricultural reports, the die
tionary, the encyclopedia, but they
did't throw any light on the subject.
got wild. / feared that I had brought
but one cut worm through the winter,
and l was liable to lose him unless l
could find out what to feed him. l
asked some of my neighbors, but they
spoke jeeringly and sarcastically. l
know now how it was. All their cut
worms had frozen down last winter, and
they couldn't bear to see me get ahead.
All at once an idea struck me. l
haven't recovered from the conclusion
yet. 1t was this: The worm had win
tered under cabbage stock; no doubt
he was fond of the beverage. l acted
upon this thought and bought him two
dozen red cabbage plants, at fifty cents
a dozen. I had hit it the first pop.
He was passionately fond of those
plants, and would eat three in one
night. He also had several matinees
and sour krout lawn festivals for his
friends, and in week bought three
dozen more plants. By this time l had
collected large group of common
scrub cut worms, early Swedish cut
worms, dwarf Hubbard cut worms, and
short-horn cut worms, all doing well,
but still, 1 thought, little hide bound
and bilious. They acted languid and
listless. AS my squash bugs, currant
worms, potato bugs, ETC., were all do
ing we'll without care, devoted myself
exclusively to my cut worms. They
were all strong and well, but they SEEM
ed melancholy with nothing to eat day
after day, but cabbages.
therefore bought five dozen tomato
plants that were tender and large. These
I fed to the cut worms at the rate of
eight to ten in one night. In week
the cut worms had thrown that air of
ennui and languor that had formerly
noticed, and were gay and lighthearted.
I got them some more tomato plants,
and then some more cabbage for a
change. On the whole l was as proud
as any young farmer who has made a
success of anything.
One morning l noticed that cab
bage plant was left standing and un-
changed. The next day it was still
there. I was thunderstruck. dug
into the ground. My cut worms were
gone. 1 spaded up the whole patch,
but there wasn't one. Just as l had
become attached to them, and they had
learned to look forward to my coming,
when they would almost come up and
eat a tomato plant out of my hand,
some one had robbed me of them. /
was almost wild with despair and grief.
Suddenly something tumbled over my
foot. 1t was mostly stomach but it had
feet on each corner. A neighbor said
it was a warty toad. He had eaten up
my summers work. He had swallowed
up my cunning little cut worms.
tell you, gentle reader, unless way is
provided, whereby this warty toad
scourge can be wiped out, l for one
shall relinquish the joys of agricultural
pursuits. When common toad, with
a sallow complexion and no intellect,
can swallow up my summers work, it
is time to pause.
Spend Wisely.