The Press., 1885-11-26

report of the associated Minors Conclave IS insignificant, not to say startling, docu- ment. Lest we weary the reader with dry details, we briefly call attention to the pa pers to be read on the following subjects. as indicating the trend of thought among the more active of our child philosophers ''Sufferings of the flannel blanket period" Proper distribution of jack-knives," Bathing, voluntary and compulsory" Pockets the distinctive badge of civiliza- tion, !" Shorter school sessions, or strike" Protection against the batter af the shin- gle-a poem, , Oatmeal deadly poison to the young," Benefits of noise to the aged and infirm," Immediate abolition of the nine o'clock bell ;" "Duty!of parents to feed, clothe and wait on their children without grumbling ; Effective eating ;" "Down with women tailors." These sub jects, chosen at random from large num- Der to be brought before the Conclave, show the nature of the complaints the children make against their elders Agi- tation is doing it's work, and unless some radical measures for peace be speedily adopted, the insurrection we have so long dreaded and prophesied will surely break out. Are we prepared for the irresistible conflict
 PooR BILLY MucKRow's MANY VIRTUES. We drop tear as we record the demise of poor Billy Muckrow. His genial pres ence and hearty laugh added new grace to the most exclusive saloons of the town. We say it without fear of contradiction, Billy was as square as chess board. He was no chump. He never killed man without cause :; he never forgot to settle hls score on the slate. ...... .., He never refused to go out on hunt for hoss thieves nor to ante up his little pile when he bucked the tiger and lost. And he was rustler when out with the boys. But his crowning virtue was that just before his death he paid us three years subscription it. advance for the Howler, and we assure his widow that the paper will be delivered to her on time every week. Stranger, go thou and do likewise.-ArisOaa0 Hoa0ier. A recent occurrence in Sunday school not far from this city caused good deal of merriment. The superintendent had given out for the closing hymn No. in the Gospel Hymns, when an impulsive singer started off with @ solo of No. in the Sunday school Quarterly, which reads : was a wandering sheep, I did not love the fold.
 Finding himself alone at the end of the second line, he subsided when the school with as much sobriety as possible took up the song given out, as follows ::
 There were ninety and nine that snfely lay
 In the shelter of the fold l But one was out on the hills away,
 Far off, etc. -Springfen Republican.
 Scott's Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver Oil, with Hypophosphites, For Throat affections. Dr. F. B. Philpott, Salisbury, Mo, says: "I have used Scott's Emulsion in glandular dis eases, and Throat affections, with uniformally good results. It is the only preparation of Cod Liver Oil use "
 l Baltimore American: A little maiden down in Annapolis, while playing in the yard, sud denly accosted an acquaintance on the veran- da with ''Oh, MT Seabury, will you please come unblowed."
 WHAT SEvENTY-F1yE CENTS Dm.--A farm CT in Missouri writes that he has had tough time. The potato: bugs got into his fields his children had whooping cough, and his wife was crippled with rheumatism. Then he l invested fifty cents in a bottle of St. Jacobs Oil, and twenty five cents in one of Red Star Cough Cure, and health and health and hap piness returned to his home.
 Philadelphia Call: The New Hampshire Gazette is over @ hundred years old. It nev- CT chewed tobacco, smoked or used spirituous
 liquors. M
 S. B. Durfey, mate of the steamer Arizona, had hi, foot badly jammed. Thomas' Electric oil cured it Nothing equal to 1t for quick pain relieyer.
 DAUGHTERS, WIVES AND MoTHERs.--we emphat
 caly guarantee Dr. Marchisi's Catholicon, Female
 Remedy, to cure Female Diseases, such ss Ovarian troubles Inflammation and Liberation, Falling ant
 Displacement or bearing down feeling Irregularities , Barrenness, Change of Life, Lencorrh@a, besides , many weaknesses springing from the above, liks
 Headache BIoating, Spinal weakness, Sleeplessness