Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-08-06
FACT AND FANCY.

with the proposed personal taxation
to be levied.
Bicycle clubs are called "veloce
clubs in France, and their members
"velocemeD.
The red rose is the national flower
of England and the red nose is the ma
uonal flower Of English beer.
Cucumbers sliced are said TO remove
freckles. This is not wonderful. They
have been known to remove whole
families.
The only difference between going
a.fshing" and "becn fishing is The
number of backaches and self-denun-
cations.
Outdoor exercise being ordered
her by the doctor, 4 Nantucket
woman has begun driving a public
carriage.
Quails are so troublesome in
some parts of San Bonito county
California. that poison is used to de-
stroy them.
1t is now announced that the king Of
Siam is the father of 1854 children.
The last time the item went around
the number was only $40.
The presiding officer at a political
meeting is probably called "the chair"
on account of the apparently very gen
eral desire to sit upon him.
Our little Billy's passed the golden
shore; he always laughed and joked;
it doesn't seem the same house any
more, since little Billy croaked.
A kitten was recently born at
Rcdlands, San Diego, county, Cal,
having four eyes and two mouths in
one head. it's on exhibition at Col
ton.
A small lot of pompano received
at Fulton market, New York, on
Monday morning from Pensacola,
were quickly sold at the rate of 81 per
pound.
At Modesto, Cal, white women
and men patronize Chinese opium
dens, and smoke the drug at open
windows in plain sight from the prin-
cipal street.
A seaside landlord says, "Ono spir-
ituelle girl will eat up, waste, and
muss over more food than any two
men who sit at my tables. I'd rather
board bear"
There is 4 fortune in store for tho
man who shall invent bonnet that
can be worn in any part of the church
and always present its trimmed side
10 the congregation.
The senior warden of st. Pauls
church, Woodbury., Conn, is 30 years
of age, and his three immediate prede-
ccssors attained the ages of 81, 80, and
So years, respectively.
a religious enthusiast in Georgia
imagincs that he is John the Baptist,
and insists on having his head return
ed. An old deacon has volunteered
to put a head on him.
The municipal debts of the five prin-
cipal cities of New York are: New
York, 1854, Ojj; Brooklyn, 37,775,-
$50; Buffalo, S797l, 267, Rochester,
So, 2Si,O 900, and ALBANY, 50, lO3, 600.
"IIow many mem Ders are there in
your church?' "Well,' said u ward
en-, 81 tell cm we've got about ten to
be depended or to do anything, though
we've got morc'n a hundred on the
books.
The author of Silver Threads
Among the Gold' was one of
the men who drew prizes in the adj
mnistration lottery. lie has been
made postmaster with salary of
S2i2 per year.
"Oh, YOU can laugh" exclaimed
Henderson, with show Of impatienco,
as YOU think | am" "Icll you the
truth said Fogg, 81 didn't believe it
could be possible" E"
If Adam had only had the "hcipper
readiness" to remark, when invited
by his spouse TO taste the forbidden
fruit, mot this Eve," we should all
be living in southern Mesopotamia at
the present day.
The Michigan chap who has receiv-
cd the most bouquets this spring from
the ladies is n fellow who assaulted
woman with intent to rob and got
year in state prison. He was pronounce
ed perfectly lovely"
An Irishman was taken to see
cathedral. As he entered the magniii-
cent building, bewildered by ITS
beauty, he turned to his companion
and said; "Phwy, Moike, it bates the
divil." That's the intintion, Pat"
Goodness gracious! and has it come
to this? A lady in the horse-car re.
marked to her companion: "Of course,
| like to 90 away in the summer It's
such change, you know. But then
it is so tiresome to have ones husband
around all lay"
II don't understand how the rail.
roads can afford to reduce the fare to
| cent q mile" "Oh, it's very simple"
"They have to make up the loss in
some wav." They do "HowP"
"Make the sleeping.car porter divide
with the company"
MY dear fellow, how glad | am TO
meet you again. 1t is years since we
parted. You look well, healthy, flour,
ishing." "Oh, yes; Pm enjoying my
patrimony. And you; how have you
beenP You look rather i'll and out of
sorts. =" "Ycs; I've been enjoying my
matp' ny. Difference of sex in fort
une L1tween us, that's all.
The long-headed lover writes all his
amatory epistles with Typewriter
now. Not only does he save time and
avoid difficulties which autograph
manuscript involves, but by judi
cious use of carbon paper and blanks
where proper names occur, he can
make four or five girls happy by
single struggle with the machine.
"What is your occupationP' tho
Judge asked the seedy, red-nosed man.
Pm bartender your HONOR was
the reply. "But the officer swears
you're q loafer, and pass the greater
part of your time IN saloons" "Don't
a bartender pass most Of his time IN
saloonsP" True" mused the Judge.
"By the way" he asked, (which side
of the bar do you tcndPn "The out
side, your honor." 81 thought so"
said the Judge; "three months"
Two laborers were trying to put
stone in position on the foundation
wall Of a new building. A crowd was
standing around looking on, and each
one offering his criticism and counsel
freely and loudly, but not one lifting
so much as finger to help "That
reminds me Of church work." said