The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-10-09
THE RECORDING SPOOK.

On the road to Barley Bright.
THE RECORDING SPOOK.
The incidents which I am about to
narrate occurred some two years ago. It
was toward the close of an exhausting
season. I had striven for some months
to perform that feat known as " keeping
ones end up" I had tried to keep my
end up. There is q concurrent and con
temporaneous testimony to the effect
that did not keep my end up.
Looking back on it now seems
to me that I kept two or three ends up.
kept my end up at afternoon teas. I
kept my end mp at early morning suppers.
/ was up before and after the lark.
generally managed to see the moon TO bed.
do not know whether I make this clear
to you As I said, perhaps I had ought
to have left the subject to a scientific
man. Any scientific man could explain
that this sort OF a thing is wearing on
the most cast-iron constitution.
One dewy morning in February
slipped into bed Just as the first milk
cart ratUed under my window. I was
very tired indeed. Ny eyes were Just
closing when I saw, seated upon the foot
of my bed, what I can only describe as a
supernatural visitaut
1t was pale gray notified spook, about
sixteen hands high. WASH afraid Of it.
1 said
Hello who are yOu s'
Pm sPook.' it replied.
All right I said, spook when you're
spoken too. good night And then I
turned over.
where are you going 3" inquired the
spook.
Going to sleep told him.
Not now. you're not" said the
spook.
What's to hinder me ?" I queried, in a
scientific spirit
4 am" the spook sand: that's what
I'm here for. I'm the recording spook.
I'm sent here 10 wait on You every night.
when You go to bed. and to repeat to YOU
before you 90 TO sleep every foolish
conventional, or unnecessary thing that
you have said during the day
mildly intimated that he had a con
tract on hand.
81 have said he, rubbing his hands:
"onj I'm the boy that can fill it too.
Come now, young man. roll over so that
can see you, take your hands out Of your
eyes, and listen. The entertainment is
gong to begin right now, and the cur
tain's up
l groaned. Imight as well have whis-
tied.
Let's see" said the spook. grinning
hideously and rubbing his hands let's
see. Iou met Jones at the club this
morning. You hadn't seen Jones in two
days, and what did you say to Jones
Why, you said: Quite stranger. sin't
you " Now, that was brilliant. wasn't
it The edge hadn't been rubbed of that
observation in 800 third-class boarding
houses. had it, Why, that was the
regulation joke in the ark when Noah
happened to miss a breakfast through sit
ting up too late the night before inspect
ing his private stock"
"Go away" said 1; Il want to go to
sleep ?"
But he didn't go away He went-he
went on.
Then you went to the Turkish bath,
didn't you And You went into the hot
room-temperature 200. And you saw
Robinson there. ell And what did you
say to Robinson ?'
l said that didn't remember.
You do remember said the spook:
"you said is it hot enough for you ~
that's what you said. You didn't happen
to think of any other way Of making an
idiot of yourself just at the moment, so
you said that. Well, it filled the bill
That is the way he began, that spook,
and he kept iu up until daylight. He
didn't seem TO get tired, either He Just
kept it mp, talking away in that easy,
pleasant, conversational manner, telling
me all the idiotic things I said that day.
I rolled about and tried to bury my ears
in the pillows. Then / tried to bury the
pillows in my ears. 1t was Of no use.
The eXperience-meeting came to a close
= about G:3a. The spoOk vanished, after
making an appointment for the next
evening.
He was on time. He was on time right
straight along every night after that l
never went to sleep until I knew Just how
much of conversational ass had made
Of myself during the preceding twenty
four hours.
Under these kindly ministrations i'm
proved my speech. I chasteued my con
versatiou and turned the faucet on my
2 flow OF language. And / saw with pleas
11ra that tho cro,l- Ns-yv 70 ,9r-ir,11, ,--7
diminish and grow pale and peaky. He
got in a ten or fifteen minutes seance
each night to remind me that had said
See you later" or g. should smile. ." or
something of the sort, for fouud it diff
cult g set rid of the slang habit But be