The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1885-02-07
PENALTIES OF FAME,
Bill Nye Tolls of Narrowing Episode of
the Days OF His Youth.

Some years ago, when was younger,
| was very easily approached by stan
gers. especially if they intimated that
6hey had met mo before. The most
downtrodden and offensive human fail
ure could borrow my watch and chain
then, if he went at it right, and it was .
cold day when l wasn't called upon to
feed some "great admirer" Of mine who
had footed it through from Boston to
the coast in order to shake hands with
me.
would rather be famed for pants than to
pant for fame (stall-fed humor) When
a pale-eyed tramp ralIes me by the hand
and tells me how he has journeyed from
Nova Scotia to see me, perpetrate a
little coop de tat on him by asking him
if he has q dollar i'll his clothes that I
could borrow till next week. After that
there is a lull in the conversation that
you could cut with knife.
Many years ago there was red headed
conductor running No. over the Shsr-
man hill. nhoEe name was Boils-at
least that's near enough. No. wasn't
really a train of "varnished cars 1t
was an emigrant train, but had a COM
Portable caboose on behind with leather
covered seats and an observatory on top
and oil paintings in it painted by Michael
Angelo Prang, and used to ride over
the mountain with Boils in the cabooss
quite frequently.
One night there we're several of US
coming over the hill, and wo were having
a good, fair average time smoking Alex.
Joelman's cigars and telling stories as
We Poked up the heavy grade of the
Union Pacific road from Cheyenne, west.
after awhile Boils went through the
train with = self.cocking punch, and
made the usual assessment. Then he
came back and told me that there was a
lady in ono Of the cars ahead who had
heard in some way that | was aboard,
and was very anxious to meet me if l
wished. Irose majestically, felt of my
mustache, to see if it was still there, and
then went into another car where Boils
introduced me to corpulent woman
about eighty ,ssven years of age, whose
teeth we're made for some one else. She
| could't hear very well either. The train
made soma noise, aud 20 when she wanted
very severely to hear what I said, she
would lean over on my shoulder, with
the cold and somewhat soilsd rim Of her
ear close to my face, so that she could
catch my words as they fell.
"She said she was just returning from
the Centennial.
"Ab," said l, "where do you go to
celebrate your centennial nowadays"
"Oh, down to Philadelphy," she said,
as soon as she had collected my question
into her Jumbo ears.
81 should think you would 90 to the
Acropolis, said, getting little weary
Of my companion, ''or to Pompeii, where
| you could have a kind of reunion of
ruins"
"Yes we went to Injinopolis, too, she
replied.
And We chatted along up the hill
| While the boys back in the caboose were
| having a nice joyful time, l was there
| yelling playful bon mots and such things
| into the Iecesses of an old emigrant's
ear, who, | aiterward learned, thought l
was a foreign missionary on my charge
via Frisco.
| Finally, | asked her to excuse me, az
had to 60 back to attend to a friend
who was dying. It took me long time
to work this palpable falsehood through
the labyrinths to her mind, but finally
she seemed to graphic in all right.
Then she wanted to 60, too. told
her no; it woald certainly hasten the
end
| How I wanted to get hold Of Boils and
bring him to head! At last l got away
from tbs aged conversationalist and went
back to the csbnose.
1t was locked
| | stood out on the platform in the cold
all the way down the west side of the
hill to Laramie, where we arrived at a
little past midnight as tie train was
late.
| never felt anywhere near even with
Boils until year or SO afterward, when
the general superintendent wrote and
asked him if no wouldn't be kind enough
to resign, SO as to give the stockholders
a chance. He told Boils that If he would
resign and get a job on rival road, and
be as economical about turning in cash
fares as he had bean with him, the com.
eany would present him with = gold
headed cane.-BW Nye, in 81. Puul Her.
aid.