Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-01-20
BRIGHT BITS.

MARY ANDERSON is taking lessons on the
violin. More strings to Mary's bow, eh?-De-
trOit Free Press.
"YOUTH is the time to serve the Lord, says
the old hymn. a large majority of those who
have passed their youth appear to believe TINS
DISQUALIFICATION IrdHscrtpt.
A NOTE from the capital: The Bureau of
Information is overrun by members of Con-
gress who desire to know in what part of
Africa Nicaragua is situated.-LJe.
ADIsPATcH from Breakwater, Del, says:
The whistling buoy five miles OF Cape Hen
whistlingbOys should be sent on to take its
Mace He never gets out Of order.-NorrtStoi0n
Herald.
MA, TINS paper says they are $3.50 bands Of
mercy in this country. What is Dand OF
mercy?" IAN association for charitable pur-
poses. child" Oh, l thought it meant brass
band that didn't practice evenings. '-BHrL'n0-
ton (Vt.) Free Press
MRS. KAINTUCK-"It is time to get ready
for prayer N Getting, dear" Mr.. kaintuck-
II am not going this evening" Mrs. Ram
tuck-"Why, the new minister VIII be there
tonight. Why can't you gO" Mr.. kaintuck
My pistol is out of order. '-PhttddetDh
cal.
"WHAT's the reason YOU didn't speak to
Jones when he passed us Just now He
insulte me the other day" "What did he
say to your" "He called me an old ass"
Called you an old ass! How ridiculous!
Why YOU are not old. You are just In your
prime! You will not be an old ASS for ten or
fifteen years yet.'-Teras SJtings.
A GERMAN shoemaker, having made pair
of shoes for a gentleman of whose financial
integrity he had considerable doubt, puzzled
his Teutonic brain to know what excuse he
could give for not delivering them, and finally
made the following reply to him When ne
called for the articles: der poots ish not
quite done, but der beel ish made oudt."
THE hell-born, red headed, smart Aleck
who makes abortiVe attempts to edlt the llCtIe
patent outside in TenderfOot City squeals IKE
n stuck mig because we have shown up his po-
litical aspirations. He pretends to be horIl-
fed because we drink GOO liquor and nave
ewes Of the public. But it won't do. The peo-
pie know that there 5 no more TO him than
there is to a foOtless sock without any leg
that is, just nothing. Our nose IS our own,
and we pay for our liquor IN nara money
LTisOnG AHtidOte.
HISTORY OF THREE LIVES
NO. !.
Want Death. The POOIhOuse.
Beggary,
Sundayschool Bank Cashier, Busted,
Goody Good, Pillar of Church, Canada.
So Nice.
Bad boy Nice Girl, Love in Cottage.
Smokes, Marries, Twins.
Sees l.. K. FAINT, - WdU-
EXEMPLIFYING OSCULATI0N.-
Into the glowing CRATE he gaZed
In silent meditation,
Until her eyes the maiden raised
And said, whats oscillations"
The lover slowly bent his head,
And with some trepldatiOn
He kissed her on the lips and SAID,
"Sweet love, that's OSCILLATION"
Then while her heart went pit -a-pat,
Till she could almost hear 1t,
She said, Il thought it must be that,
Or something pretty near it."
Boston Courier
Down the street marched the Good Tenn
plars. the brass bands playing, and above
their heads a blue banner waving, bearing the
inscription in glitter;ng letters of gold: I'VE
Bend the Knee, but Not the Elbow" On the
sidewalk an old soak stands, unsteadIly hold
ing fre-box in position. His temperance
character had expired about month before.
and he had not had time to renew. He gazes
at the flutterng banner, and with many
hiccough reads the inscription: "Ah, yes"
he saws with an accent of infinite contempt,
You bend the knee, but not the elbow. know
YOU do that-hic-that comes Of the beastly
habit-hlc-oi drinking ont of the bung," and
tho 1roppSsiOn moves On.-BuFdett6,