Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1885-10-14
A Scared Coekney.

he was an EngllSn cluDman, and he
came to this country with the best OF
intentions to see his translantic cousins
at home and observe their peculiaritles.
He was here just one week; then he
sailed back straight for England. He
had seen enough of America. 1t wasn't
his fault that he chanced to do young
American a substantial favor one night
in London a month or two ago; II
wasn't bis fault that he happened to
meet the same young gentleman on the
deck Of his steamer on his passage out.
1t was fate. The American was CRATE
full for past services and urged his Eng
lish friend to visit him at his home up
in little Connecticut town. The
clubman was not backward in accept
ing the invitation, which promised him
full opportunities TO see the Yankees
around their own hearths. A day or
two spent In New York after the steam
er reached this side, and the English
man was speeding along in a hot, dusty
railroad train which left him finally at
the station of the village where was his
friends home. Here more fate came
in. The American was laid up with a
sprained ankle, and the task Of enter
tanning John Bull fell to the rest of the
family, including younger brother.
Bright and early one morning this
boy proposed swim in lake mile or
so distant. HIS proposition was accep-
ted, and in half an hour a man of the
world and two small boys were riding
over a stony country road in a wagon
bIilt chiefly to Withstand hard usage
and furnished with springs that did
I everything else but spring. The strange
boy had something in his pocket and on
his mind. He carefully drew from un-
| der his coat what looked like big fire.
cracker, covered with yellow oiled silk,
and furnished with a yard of rubber
tube dangling from one hand. Over
the rough road along went the wagon
pitching recklessly, and the English
man for long time ignored the fire.
cracker, having time to pay attention
to little else than the gymnastics of that
wagon, ricochetIng here and there all
over the roadway, and threatening mo-
mentarily to dump Its whole cargo on
the rocks and bIambles over the high
way fences; but pretty soon he did give
L oil Oth1 W luC OOuNClohlAOh VI lAAOcC GnO
| high-spirited companions of his.
"How much Is in il ?" asked his
friends brother, addressing the other
small boy and tenderly caressing the
yellow silk packet, while that youth
with evident pride, answered: "About
halfa pound"
"Sure it will go of 2"
Coarse; there's half an inch of full
inmate in the cap"
Fulminatel Somehow that had an
unpleasantly familiar sound. "Ah,
what's illuminate fori" asked the
queens loyal subject. ''To kill fishl"
came from the twain in one breath.
That was reassuring, somewhat. Yam
KEGS were so ingenious, he had heard,
and this was probably some novel sort
of a reel. "But how does it workl'' he
persisted. Easy enough" was the
response" just light this fuse and chuck
it in where the waters deep"
Light the fusel Why, what is In it?'
Dynamite" calmly chorused the
youngsters. Then there was fun-for
the small boys. Out of that wagon
went their distinguished guest pell-
nell. Half a pound of dynamitel a
rafting wagon, a stony road, and a
pair of reckless boys! What fatel
And he howled and he ran. But those
small boys we're not TO be sat upon in
that way. They called for him to come
back; he didn't come; then out the little
scallawags started in close pursuit,
threatening that if he did not halt they
would throw the whole cartridge fair
and square for his head. There was no
hope but in surrender, and he surren-
dered; then those wicked Yankee lads
put that firecracker shaped affair into
his own hands, coaxed him up into
their wagon again, and with persuasive
tones such as the youth of certain
age is best master of they ratified on
toward their destination. They had no
fear. Yes, it was real dynamite they
assured him; dynamite, and enough too
to blow up county or two If il were
given half chance.
1t was perhaps because he was new
to the climate that the gentleman from
over the water perspired freely, while
the youngsters kept comfortably cool
till the journey ended. as most journeys
uO. dllu llC 5OOu uldu Ndo given a iAlliC
exhibition. Those boys had not been
fOOling him, that fuse was lighted, and
over into the water it went with little
splash that developed in a minute or
two to what sounded like an exploding
parliament house, as safe behind big
tree he waited and trembled and list
ened. A big stream of water had shot
up into the all, and fish dead or stunned
so that they could readily be picked up
lay over a wide sufarce of the lake.
Then the lads-having done what hosts
of ''spOrtsmen" all over New England
do daily-went swimming; but they
went alone, for the man behind the tree
had been quite content to hurry back
over that road altogether satisfied to
bear himself company, and it was the
very next train TO New York that
brought him from Connecticut.
''lt's all very well, of course" he
explained, ''when you are used to it,
but | haven't been brought up on
dynamite at home, you know, and I'd
rather blarsted sight take my chances
with the Fenians than any of your fool
youngsters who try to be funny"
This is a true story. That gentle
cOckney was fairly Frustrated. He had
seen quite enough of the States. And
away he sailed.