The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-07-31
She Got All the News.

Chicago News.
'Is your mother home, bubP" in
quired lady as she walked up to
house and found a small boy with an
old campaign hat on, sitting on the
steps and shooting pebbles at dog
over the way with rubber-construc-
ted Gatling gun of his own manufac-
ture.
Noun, she's jis gone to the gro
cery to git some Goldfish for dinner"
replied the boy, punctuating his re-
marks with snuffs, ''coz this haint our
day for meat We only has it twscet
a week now, coz she'z savin' up some
money to buy new cloak that'll
jis morn take the tuck out o Miss
Bailem s; for, you see. ma she jis can't
bear Miss Bailem, and it most kills her
to see her come out with a good stitch
on, an every time she does git any
thing new why ma she takes on jis
awful an says she wonders what Miss
Bailem pawned this time to buy it
with, and then she begins to cut us
light on grub until she kin collar sum-
pin that'l Il make Miss Bailem slam her
door when she walks along, an
mamp"
Don't hit that poor dog, bub. You
hurt him then, real bad. Don't you
know that's wrongP"
"No'um, ma says tain't. You see,
that's Miss Nodget's dog, and ma is jis
down on her, oh, awful. You see, Miss
Nodget has owed her three drawin's
o tea for morn two munts, an she'd
a had our skillet yit if ma hadn't sent
me after it, an then she'd broket
piece off'n the handle, an her man an
pa don't jibe on politics nohow, and
ole Nodget he-mam?"
"Isn't that your mother coming yon-
derp"
"No'um. Why, that's ole Miss Sim
Minis. She lives in that yaller house
over yonder, and ma she jis hates her
blame sight worse'n she does Miss
Bailem, coz, you see, when ma went to
Ingeanny last summer to see her
brother what was goin to be hung.
why, ole Miss Simminssomehow found
it out, an she jis got right up an put
on her bonnet an went around to all
the neighbors an'-mamp"
What grocery did your mother go
top Rogers'P"
''No'um. You see, we used to git
all our things at Rogers, but finally he
jis got so he wanted the cash down
every time, an ma she jis' got mad,
an said she wouldn't have nothin'
more to do with no man what gives
thumb weight, an pans off all his ole
split stuff on to her, an then ole
Miss Rogers she heard about it, an
she iis comes right over here an her'n
ma they jis had it up an down, an
mamP"
"Did your mother say she was COM
ing right backP"
9'No'um. She said maybe she might
jis stop few minutes an see Miss
Nickum, COZ she's got baby what's
got the measles jis awful, an her man
has jis been bilin' drunk for a week,
"Will you tell her I've been here? /
can't wait any longer. I'm Mrs.
Thompson"
"Yes'um Oh, yes, you're the woman
what ma was talkin' about Wednesday.
| member it coz that was our day for
meat, an'-mam?"
''Did she say anything good about
meP"
"No'um. She jis said you put on a
heap o style for grass widder, an
she iis thought it was burnin' shame
that you was goin' to marry that ole
codger with cork leg. COZ
he had money, 'thout gettin' no di-
vorce from that red-headed hoss-thief
that-mamP'
Tell you mother she's goodfor-
nothing gad-about, and she'd better |
stay at home and keep her tongue in
her head or it'll poison her. | never
want to put eyes on her again. viii |
7ou tell her that?"
'.Yes'um, replied the boy, and he
liked another stone to his sling and got
'eady to make the dog howl, too.