New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-04-05

There has been so much gloomy and depressing
news of late that we feel an especial kindness
towards those genial fellows who. scattered all
over the world. devote their time to the preparation
of marvellous or amusing inventions whercwith 10
ill the ears of correspondents for thepress. Looking
at the matter in this light, cordial tribute OF
thanks is due to tho sprightly citizen of Laurin-
burg Ga, who has caused it to be announced that
a local hog presumably with four legs, recently
ate heartily of dynamite. entered lot where
drove of mules pastured. got himself kicked,
and at once exploded killing twenty of the mules.
neater thing IN the way OF prOmiscuous slaughter
was never conceived since the world began and
| though of course the story is merely genial lie,
still the mind is much delighted with the
t,rougnt or that pasture Immediately after the
imagnary explosion as If il had actually occurred.
Then there is the merry Nubian who has Just
tckled the whole world under the fifth rib with his
story of how the people threw mud at the Mudir OF
Dongola as that rcspleudcnt functionary was
departing with his staff for Cairo Naturally such
q ridiculous performance as throwing mud at
Mud.ir could never have occurred except in the
| Imagination of somebody who was crazy to see how
the story would look in print Who he was. or IL, or
is to be. We know not but ho is fellow of infinite
Jest and we send him greeting across the
cataTacts
Tho action OF the Philadelphia authorities in stop
ping the Sullivan McCanrey prize fight is likely to
give the country if not the would-bo lighters great
respect for Quaker qualities
Tho death in Brooklyn of n man from tho narcotic
poison contained in patent medicine hc had been
taking sugg ;sts the passage of law requiring the
propretOrs OF these goods 10 advertise the ngredi-
ents Of their medicines upon every label
with which they are prepared for retail trade. If
this sort of a law prevailed in any considerable
number of States and the sale of patent medicines
not so advertised was forbidden the public health
would be the better.
II il getting TO be generally recognized in this
city that the practical difference between the ANA
tcur and the professional pugilist is simply this:
The amateur can hit his opponent aS hard rs ms
strength permits, but the professional NAV deal
only such gentle blows are sanctioned by Judge
| Barrett's rules" under pelico supervision. This
sort of fighting the public wont pay to see. If the
police continue to discriminate against them. the
urofe.sonals will havo 20 60. Nobody viii regret
their absence. bnt it isn't fair play. On recent
night Tammany Hall was crowded TO suifocatien
with people who paid so zach to see lot of young
men box for the amateur championship of the Now
York Athletic Club The most determined slug
pinp" was INDUCED in In single contest, ac-
cordiug 10 one report, there was spilled more than
anon IN blood for FIVE or six Madison Square Gar
den fights Judge Barrotts rules ought to be
enforced all round.
A good many of Mr.. Ceycand's nominations were
no more of a surprise to the politicians than they
were n nuisance to the newspapers. IL is hard work
IN nrocnre accurate biographical details ahont men
whose chief characteristic is their obscurity.
The ANNOYANCE occasioned TO ladies of refined feel
mrs aud delicate ofacory organs by those bibuous
individuals of the masculine gender who cannot at
tend a play without going out between the acts
" IN see n man. has ofton boon commented on, but
no remedy for tho nuisance has yet been devised.
The suggestion that certain portion of the theatre
be set apart for those whose desire to "see man
when the ourtais is down cannot be restrained by
| the dulcet strains of tho orchestra has not been
received with favor by theatrical managers. But
at one of the popular uptown theatres the
other evening q lady set an example in his matter
which If generally followed might lead to a sup
preston of the evil. She rose to let 6ad-headed
| toner pass out when tho curtain fell. When he
| returned after the play had been resumed she
stoutIy refused to rise again to accommodate him
and suggested that If no couldn't sit through
play without drinking he ought to provide him.
| self with n flask and drink from that UsheIs were
summoned but they could not induce the lady to
| bulge. The manager. accustomed to dealing WIN
feminine eccentricities of temper, was not moro
successful. At length tho thoroughly abashed
topper, with the aid of some friends. managed TO
climb into his seat from behind thus gaining an
| ignominious victory. But the moral victory was
| with the lady, VINO had the sympathies of all tho
respectable people in the audience with her. Still
IL requires plucky woman to make such fight
The Democrats of Chicago not wholly original
| in advising President Cleveland to go West.
There are great many Democrats all over the land
who would like to have Mr.. Cleveland adopt Mr..
Greeeys old advice in its entirety. and not only 70