Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-05-07
GREENBERRY GORDY'S LEAP IN
The DARK.
BY MEMO.

Conspicuous among the passengers
on the southwark bound train from
Hawkinsville were DIR. Peter Columbus
Hackemup and his blushing bride, Ju-
Llama Keziah, nee Skiggs. The lady
had doffed her favorite color, green,
and donned for the occasion the more
bridelike attire, pale orange, which
harmonized beautifully with the deli
cate salmon tints of her complexion.
All eyes were upon them as they en-.
tered the car, DIR. Hackemup, of course.
in advance, with the majestic strut of q
turkey cock, Juliana ambling meekly in
the rear. Smiling benignly and affec-
tionately, the Doctor seated his fair
spouse, and, having attended to her
comforts, took his position beside her.
Suddenly an irreverent youth, over
come by his feelings, calculated, "The
long and the short of it," to which q
companion added, "The thick and the
thin of it, third joining in,
I had little husband no bigger than my
thumb.
Convinced that these invidious re-
marks alluded to himself and wife, DIR.
Hackemup shot from his seat like a
rocket, and, glaring in every direction
but the right one, vociferated:
"Could 1 diagnose the perpetrators
of these atrocious insults, would slay
them as did Samson the Philistines,
and snorting violently, he fopped back
into his seat
with that marital expression of
countenance, Peter Columbus" sweet
ly remarked his admiring spouse, "you
are irresistible. You remind me of
Venus, the fulsome god of war, as he
rose from tho am a competent
Judge" she added, with modest pride,
~for botany was always one of my favor
ite studies"
Somewhat appeased by this soothing
assurance, DR.. Hackemup yielded him
self to the seductive charm of the oc-
casion, and the two turtle doves settled
down to little quiet cooling.
Suddenly, however, Mrs. Hackemup
raised her head from the Doctors
shoulder with a jerk, while her coun-
tenance assumed an expression of
anger and amaZement. The Doctor,
on his part, began to swell, until he
bore such striking resemblance to the
ambitious frog who tried to be an OK
that it was only by miracle he es-
capped the same fate. The turtle doves
were quarreling.
"Did you not tell me, madam" thun-
dered the Doctor, "that your invest
ments were secure? Did not Mr.. Som
ers inform me that you were the pos
SCISSOR or Iau prize Wnere are une
investments, / ask; and where is the
prize?"
"Ohp groaned Juliana; "are these
the cuddibilities of married life?
Bursting into tears she emitted series
of ear-splitting shrieks, and fell in hys-
terics into the unwilling arms of her
angry spouse, from whence she slipped
to the floor with shrek, which re-
stored her in the twingling of an eye.
determinations were exchanged Wig
orously for about ten minutes, to the
great delight of the passengers. As
they approached the next station, DR..
Hackemup pulled out the l,000mile
ticket upon which they were travelling,
and shaking it at his bride, exclaimed
vigorously: "No more of this shall be
wasted. 1 shall get off at this station
and go back by return train. You can
QO dS YOU plSdSc'
Juliana would have again resorted to
Mysteries, but the train Stacked up at
this moment. and fearful of losing her
| SO lately acquired treasure, she seized
his arm, and they marched off, amid
the audible smiles of the spectators.
In the mean time, Belinda, the Doc
tors pretty daughter, and Harry, his
sixteen-year-old boy, who had been bit
terly opposed to their fathers second
marriage, were sitting at home to-
gether, trying, with the unselfshness of
truly loving hearts, to comfort each
other. Just as they mere about to seat
themselves to their frugal supper of
bread and cheese (being limited to this
| by their fathers express command), the
door opened, and without further warn
ing in walked the malcontent bride
and groom, sadly shorn of all their
pristine grandeur.
A hollow reconciliation had been Of
fected on the return trap; DR.. Hackem-
up sirewdly deciding that it would not
mend matters to betray his chagrin,
and poor Juliana being only too thank
full to make peace on any terms. Con-
scious of presenting q sheepish appear
ance, the Doctor determined upon bold
measures, and, therefore, without
vouschafng any explanation of their
sudden return to his wondering chill
dren, or to Mr.. and Mrs. Somers, at
whose house he and Juliana were mar
ried, he settled down to the even tenor
Of usual everyday life, with as much
apparent satisfaction as if his wedding
trip had extended from Dan to Beer
sheba.
Still there was trouble in the Hack
emup establishment.
As weeks and months rolled on DIR.
Hackemup, always parsimonious, be-
came positively miserly. To his intense
| dismay he discovered that his second
venture in the matrimonial lottery had
not only failed to secure him the wealth
he hoped for, but had burdened him
with a partner who was as fond of
spending as he was of boarding. Con-
slant were the chickering's on the sub
ject, all to no avail. The Doctor found
that his confding Juliana Keziah pos
sessed an india-rubber nature. After
crushing her to the earth one day with
his ponderous logic, his work would be
all to do over again the next, and so on
in perpetuum.
In this terrible strait he would have
lost all hope but for an unforeseen oc-
currence which revived his dropping
spirits.
Greenberry Gordy, a dried-up old
money lender, happened to cast his
eve on Belinda's fresh young beauty,
and coveted it for his own. Like wise
man in his generation, he spoke to the
Doctor first, who in his turn conferred
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