Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-10-15
my LAST REHEARSAL.
London Society.

IOLuOn oOCLo1y'
Probably the theory of evolution
never received "a more practical Illus
tration, physically and mentally, than
in nv case. For whereas | am now
portly, sedate, well to do father of a
family, church warden, overseer and
guardian of my parish, some thirty
years ago [ was slender, harum~
scarum bachelor, impecunious, and
ready at a moments notice for any
folly which might present itself to my
excltable and mercurial temperament.
Vicious, | certainly was not, but
merely thoughtless and inconsiderate.
Ny name is Matthews, and | was
christened Charles, after my uncle,
from whom my father had pecunlary
expectations. The late Charles Reade
was undeniably right when he said
chat versatility never pays. | was a
fair baritone singer, clever carica~
turist, and admirable mimic, and en-
joyed great renown as an amateur
actor. Yet at the age of twenty-five
I was entirely dependent on my father
for the necessaries of life and pocket
money. My largest creditor at this
time was my tailor, to whom | was
indebted IN the sum of ninetyfve
pounds four shiilings and sixpence.
Unless my father ''stumped up" had
as much chance of being able to pay
the national debt as of defraVing this
amount. For some reason or other
my father proved unusually obstinate
at this iuncture and declined to do
anything in the matter; remember
he described his conduct as frmness.
I have omitted to mention that [ was
IN love with very pretty but portion
less young lady of the name Of Walk
er. Ny father characterized this cir
cumstance as another sample of nay
thoughtlessness and perversity, as
among my acquaintance were several
young ladies with tolerable fortunes.
I had quasi-rival for Miss Walkers
good graces, of the name of Nobbs.
He was SO very plain and unpleasant
IN his manners that | entertained no
fears of being ousted by HIM, and &C
cordingl y we were very good friends.
He employed the same tailor (Binks)
as myself, and one memorable morn
ing MIR. hobbs came to me and told
me that Binks had issued writ
against me for the amount of my debt.
The law against debtors at that date
was more stringent than it is at
present, and / determined to leave
London and 60 into hiding for
a time, until | could prevail upon my
wealthy uncle to relieve me OF Binks'
claim. had a few pounds In my
pocket, and informed Nobbs that [
would start at once for asmall waters
ing place which will here call Sea
mouth" | had never been there, but
had heard a good account of it from
friend who had found it cheap, quiet
and salubrious. IN an hour had my
modest portmanteau packed (Which
had my name duly inscribed on a
brass plate thereon), and was steam<
ing at the rate of thirty miles an hour
for the nearest posta town to Sea-
mouth. When I left the train found
there was coach about to start for
Seamouth, a distance of eight miles.
After an hours drive was deposited
at the door of the RED Lion" [ was
not much puzzled as to the choice of
my hotel, for the Red Lion" was the
only inn IN the place. Seamouth con-
sisted apparently of one long, stray
Cling street, with a few detached
houses on the outskirts. AT the dis
lance Of hundred yards the open sea
tumbled and tossed on the shingly
beach. In ten minutes | felt as if [
had "done" Seamouth, and contem~
plated with some feelings of dlsmay
heightened residence IN this secluded
spot. [ had already secured a bed
room. left my portmanteau and or
dered steak and access cries prior to
my stroll around the place. As cross
ed the entrance hall to the coffee
room I found myself the osject of
special obsel walton by the staff of the
hotel. The rubicund boniface saluted
me with broad grin, the antiquated
waiter smirked in peculiar fashion
as he FASTENED to open the door of the
coffee room, while a housemaid on the
stairs was evidently much more oc-
cupied in studying my personal APP
pearance than sweeping the carpeted
stairs. A half length of what was
evidently the cook peered from the re-
gions below. I was about to seat my
self at one of the tables when the host
advanced, and with very deferential
bow, begged that [ would accept the
offer of private room. Anticipating
my objection, he went on to say that