The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-12
Shaking Hands.

found something to object to in the
matter of hand shaking. A student of
human nature might reply that, beside
the question of etiquette, which is dis
tinct enough and simple enough for all
exigencies, there is the still weightier
one of temperament to be taken into
account, which, in many, drives eti-
quette out of the field, if by etiquette
is understood not merely stiff propriety
of action, but politeness in the truest
sense of the word, and doing that which
is exactly the right thing to do. Eti-
quette rules when to shake hands and
when not to do SO, when to bow and
when not to bow, when to rise from a
seat and when to remain seated; but in
spite of this knowledge, which is within
everybody's reach, there is great ofense
given and taken in shaking hands.
elbow very odd she did not offer to
shake hands with me =" says one; or,
"He actually shook hands three times,
and would fourth if I had not got out
of it," remarks another; or, 81 dislike
particularly shaking hands with him;
there is no reason for the warmth he
displays; hardly know him." "It is
next to impertinent to be SO over en-
bresse when shaking hands," says a
third. "I never shake hands with her
if 1 can avoid doing so" says fourth; ;
"she gives one two fingers; it is so
supercilious; l suppose she fancies her.
self too fine to shake hands with ordi-
nary mortals." "Well, anything is
better than the limp, uncomfortable
manner in which MIR. Brown shakes
hands with one," returns another; "he
is great friend of ours, an old friend,
but when l extend my hand to him he
takes it only to drop it instantly, and |
have quite to pick it up, as it were. l
wish he had a more pleasant way of
shaking hands," "Why does Mr.. V.
pump his friends arm in that extraor-
dinary way when he shakes hands with
them; he may mean to be friendly, but
it looks very foolish" remarks another
critic. zone should never wear rings
when one is obliged to shake hands with
Mr.. White" says someone else; ''in an
absent sort of manner he crushes your
poor fingers together till you cry out
with actual pain, the rings making wealS
in your flesh. This muscular grasp is
too hearty to be pleasant.
Why do people raise these comments
or become so chronic in their style of
shaking hands to call them forth. The
lady who gives ofense by not shaking
hands when expected to do so is acuated
by more reasons than one; she did not
because she did not wish to do so, she
intended to keep her acquaintance at
distance, and succeeded; or, she might
not have been aware whether she ought
to or not, so being in doubt she laid
herself open to being accused of hau-
teur; or, she might have forgotten that
she had not. The gentleman who shakes
hands three, four or five times if per-
mitted, does so because he is either
Aurried, fussy or nervous-three phases
of undisciplined feeling which should
be constrolled, but which are often ex-
hibited by both men and women. Over
familiarity or obsequiousness are also
the cause of so much undue hand-shak-
ing. The gentlemen who shake hands
with great warmth and empressment are
two distinct individuals; the one is
cordial and large-hearted, and has a
friendly grasp for everyone, grasp in
dicative of kindliness, geniality, and
good fellowship; the other wishes to
| ingratiate himself in certain quarters,
and loses no opportunity of being thus
demonstrative, but no one is deceived
by this spurious imitation of the real
thing. The lady who gives but two
fingers to people whom she does not
care about, is always person who fam
cies herself and feels very fine; she
doubtless is, but her good breeding and
her good feeling are both in question
when she takes this method to show the
superiority of herself and her position
over that of other people.
Mr.. Brown is unfortunate; his manner
of shaking hands is aggravating-he
cannot help it; it arises from nervous
ness; there is something wanting in
him somehow, and his friends are aware
of it; probably his whole life is as limp
as his shake of the hand. Mr.. V. is a
rough, unpublished, awkward sort of
man; he does everything awkwardly;
he pumps the arm, because he does not
| know how to shake the hand. Mr..
White is an inconsiderate man; he for
gets that ladies' hands are soft and ten
| der, and that rings hurt very much, and
that he is not shaking hands with a
comrade just returned from India whom
he has not seen for years. There are
| other eccentries INDUCED in by different
people when shaking hands; and there
are, as we have said, people who shake
hands when they should not, and peo-
pie who do not when they should. This
brings us again the etiquette side OF the
question and queries as to the right
thing to do under certain circumstances.
"I wonder if ought to have shaken
hands with her when 1 was introduced
to her?" inquiries lady of her friend,
whom she regards as a fountain OF
| KnOWlSuSC, iislii put Out my ie'A'
but drew it back again, as l was not
quite sure whether she meant to shake
hands with me-" cit entirely depends
upon who you are introduced to-" re-
turns her friend, who is well up in the
manners and tone of good society, Gas
to whether you shake hands or not. &"
You would not on being casually intro
duced to person altogether stranger
to you, there however are so many occa-
sions when it is both proper and cor
rect to do so on first being introduced,
that the rule on this head is very elas-
tic one.
"Ought lady or gentleman to be
the first to extend the hand2" is q
further inquiry. "The lady usually
takes the initiative" is the answer, a:
she does with regard to bowling; but
in reality it is spontaneous movement
made by both at the same moment, a.
| 90 ke avfarIo1 n,