The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-08-20

A MATTER OF cores: apples.

A MATTER OF cores: apples.
A GRAVE charge: the sections fees
The Judge.
The plumbers vegetable leek.-St.
Paul Herald.
The p's that Russia wants-plunder.
power, and prestige. York
Journal.
Could stealing mans pockotbook
be called purse-nal attack ?-TerGs
SUtings.
A MAID is q young lady who is single
and who will be won II she marries. -
The Judge.
The silk hat is more fashionable than
the Derby because there is less tile
about the latter. --Teras Sttirgs.
IT is more graceful to dispense hos
pitality than to dispense with 1T, when
a hungry editor is the guest.-Barbers'
Gazette.
EARLY to bed and early to rise
Makes a man healthy, wealthy. and wise.
The man who delights to yet mp with the lark
Is never seen out upon one after dark
Boston Courier.
A LITTLE Boston boy being asked
why Lots wife was turned into pillar
of salt replied: Because she was toe
fresh, guess. Boston Courier.
A VERMONT husband got wind of the
proposed elopement of his wife, and
frustrated it by keeping guard over her
silk dress. She wouldn't run away in
a calico gown, and he knew it.-ET.
You go out to hunt man who owes
you money; you find him and get
promise-that's work. You go out to
hunt man who owes you money; you
find him and get it-that's luck
Philadelphia Call
"TAKE things as they come" said the
preacher. But when Foggs got the
bridge of his nose broken by the roll
ing-pin his wife launched at him, he
offered an amendment in favor of the
word dodge.-St. Paul Herald.
LIZ there is anything in this vale OF
sadness more annoying than waiting for
parcel to be tied up in big store,
when you are in q feverish hurry, it has
not been catalogued with the other
tribulations that seam the face of man
with the chisel marks of care.-Chica-
90 Ledger.
"WHAT song will sing for you to-
night?' she asked him. "Sing that old
Scotch song: Il Gamma leave the auld
folks yet, we'd better bide Vice."
~Oh, George, that is very ugly song.
1t suggests procrastination. Let me
sing that beautiful song, Just now"
Carl PretzePs Weekly.
A WOMAN writer of prize essay on
house-cleaning says: start with the
men of the house." Why, bless your
heart, just let the men know you are
about to begin house-cleaning, and
they'll start of their own accord, and
won't stop until they are out of sight
of the house. 1t is way men have
Norristorn Herald.
"Do YOU keep your books in double
entry?" THAT takes more than one
book, don't it?" ooh, yes; several"
"Then l don't keep mine that way. ]
only keep one book" "Only one
book! don't see how you get along"
ats enough for me-" "What book is
it?' "My pocket-book. can Away
tell by a squint at that exactly how l
stand. Chicago Ledger.
"IF we want to get at the genuine,
unadulterated primitive man" says a
scientific writer, I'VE must 60 back, not
for $4,000 winters alone, but perhaps
for two or three million years, into the
dim past of the tertiary ages" Some
of our readers may be anxious to "get
at the genuine, primitive man, but we
advise them not to go back so many
years into the dim past to do So The
probabilities are that they would find
the man dead, any way.-NoTristo,cn
Herald.
THE sHEEP-oN ITS REPORTED TOUGH
NESS.
"A Little After Tennyson.1
Eve, eve, IL you had failed to live so long,
The lamb you once were might have made me
glad:
on you the woolly. sleepy taste is strong;
No wonder am mad
For really IL is rough.
This piece. the tendcrest morsel I have struck,
This stringy piece-the Lord preserve ny
Poor muttonl am down upon my luck;
cannot bite you through. because
You are very tough.
Eve, eve, who had the ordering Of your death?
Why did they spare you till your dainty meat
Was old? But, there! / Will not waste my
breath.
But kick you ia the street;
I've had enough enough
-BoStOn Transcript.