Morning journal and courier., 1885-10-16
SOLEMN.

Boston man whose wife has run away
 with drummer has sworn 8 solemn oath to
 kill the scoundrel on sight--if he brings her
 back again.-FaH River Advance.
 Pearl Desmond writes touching poem en-
 titled "A Broken Link" Well, the next
 time Pearl goes to market she will carry her sausages home in a basket, and not try to
 carry them by the handle or lead them with
 string .-Burdette.
 "Why, Johnny!" exclaimed mamma,
 ssaren't you ashamed of yourself, going
 about with such 6 dirty facet" ''No, l
 ain't," replied Johnny, with conscious pride
 in the integrity of his intentions; "you'd u
 like to have me taken for dude, wouldn't
 youa"-Bosten Transcript.
 'eUnele James," sgia 8 city young lady,
 who was spending few days in the country,
 sis that chicken by the gate Q Brahmin?
 'sNo," replied Uncls James, "he's a Leg horn" ssWhy, certainly, to bs sure!' said the young lady. ''How stupid of me! l can see thu horns on his ankles, ,"-Rochester Ex press.
 "My love-" said a wife fondly, tam no. to have that beautiful dress pattern I spoke off" "Be patient, my dear" he replied; q will only say there is a surprise in store fo1 you.' s'In store for mei' he snapped; s'that't where it will stay. "A real surprise would be something for me at home. "-Binghamto Republican.
 Lieutenant Greedy says there is belt in the Arctic regions where there aye sheer, with the head and horns of the OK and the tail of the horse. On his next visit te that head and horns of the OK and the tail of the sheep. It seems possible to find almost any thing in the Arctic regions, save the north pole.-Nerristown Herald.
 Carrie and May were having splendid time picking the absent Matilda to pieces. Said May, after momentary pause in their conversation. "How happy should be, did I know that somebody was having as good q time talking about us as we are having talking about lilly! There is nothing sell fish about me, Carrie; like to have others enjoy themselves. ."-Boston Transcript. Mrs. Joues (newly married)-"How did you like that pie we had for dinner to days'' MT. Jones (who recollects his childhood )-"It was rather good, but not such pie as my mother used to bake. Why don't you call over and get her recipes Did you bake its' did, thenr' Mrs. Jones (triumphantly)- "Your mother baked it and sent it over. She thought you would like it."-New York Graphic.
 ''Oh, hop exclaimed suburban passen- ger to his milkman. 'sgot pox of chalk under your arm, haven't you? Bought it in the city and taking it to the dairy, ehs Now will you Ee kind enough to tell me what you are going to do with it2 Certainly, sir, ! certainly" replied the milkman: 'tyour wife l tells my driver to chalk it down so often | that he has run out of crayons, and I'm lay ing in new supply. If you'll come out to | the farm, I'll show you your statement of I account on the side of the COW barn." "Are you in favor of enlarging the cirricu | luma" asked rural School Director of g ! farmer in his district. Enlarge nothing, replied the old gentleman; ''the buildings big enough; what we want is to teach more | things to the scholars. .'-Pittsburg Chroni ! cle.
 They sat in the library alcove, And they gazed at the hundreds of books, And she gave in exchange for his sighings The sweetest and shyest of looks. | Here are volumes of very great value And you, he remarked, are well versed; Now supposing fire should break out here, Which book would you try to save frst!" | 'I would seize'-and she grew quite excited, And then she grew terribly calm ! ''I would seize papa's pocketbook first, sir; That's the kind of 8 book worm am! Columbus Dispat oh.