The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-10-08
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
'srHIs is q cold snap" said the burg
lar as he broke open rofrigerator.
"THERE is something in this cigar
that makes me Sick said pale little
boy to his sister. II know what it L."
responded the little girl; tits toback-
erl'
ONE great drawback against the suc-
cessful starting of young physician
is, that he is not old. ugly, rheumatic,
and afflicted with the gout.-CdrI Prets-
els Weekly.
"GRAN'MA, does your feet leak ?" asked
little Joe, when he saw water dripping
from his maternal relatives pedal ex-
tremities, Just after she emerged from
o bath.-Carl Pretzefs Weekly.
WHEN little Willie L. first heard
the braying of mule he was greatly
frightened, but after thinking minute
he smiled at his fear, saying Mamma,
Just hear that poor horse with the
whooping-coughW
rwo-LIP TRIoLrr.
A thrill OF osculation;
A dainty little kiss;
~
A thrill OF osculation-
Extremely sweet sensation
What harm is there in this7
A thrill OF OSculatiOn,
dainty little kiss?
Mrs. RAMsBoTHAM is astonished to
hear there are parties who complain
of the Government for vacillation.
Considering what dreadful distemper
smallpox is, she has no patience with
those i-vacillationalists. - Loaldo7a
Painch.
HYMN AS WRITTEN:
welcome, sweet day of rest,
That saw the Lord arise;
Welcome TO this revlving breast
And these rejoicing eyes"
And as sung by our choir:
"waw-kaw, swaw, daw aw waw,
Thaw saw, thaw law aw waw,
Waw-kaw taw, thaw, raw..vaw-vaw Draw
Aw thaw raw Jaw saw aw.'
"Do YOU think you will see Smith
downtown to-day 2" asked Jones of q
friend" "Yes." "Will you give him
this note for me?" "Yes." "You are
quite sure you will see him ?" 80, I
haven't the slightest doubt in the
world that will meet him somewhere.
I owe him $20."-NelU York Mail.
A YOUTH who attended Scotch re-
vival meeting for the fun of the thing.
ironically inquired of the minister
whether he could work u miracle or
not" The young mans curiosity was
fully satisfied by the minister kicking
him out of the church, with the male.
diction, "We cannot work miracles, but
we can cast out devils!"
UNCLE JAcK-"Why, Sally, you look
melancholy. What's the matter -
Sally Gust returned from the funeral
of very dear friend in Massachusetts,:
81 have been in Boston the last few
days, and" Uncle Jack-"O! DOM
let that depress you, my dear girl
You'll get over it in Gay or two Why,
look at me. / lived there once"
81 PAY the quarter part Of that young
fellows tailor bill" remarked a gentle
man, referring to an exquisit on the
opposite side of the street. though
never have spoken a word to him ia mn
Life" lyon dol Why, / Thought be
procured his clothes from the sanan
tailor you do?" said his companion
$50 he does" was the reply, but he
does not pay for his. "-PittsAtHAoA
| CAFO9ttcte.
| TIE 200 AND TRR IvsuCrs.
q dog within grocsry sst,
| : Beside baskettul az fstt
| And lucious graz pes,
and as tho Gcs few tn 10 SIP
The grapejuJce, this fierco dog w0d1d 80
1hem up. snap-Ezipl
Nofiy escapes.
put soon a hornet fisated by
Snapl whizl Behold the groceries fy,
And hear that yea
A streak of dog is all we sce
And why that hornet Ia tho nee
Seems just rs glad as he caxsbe,
canaot tell
Cincinnati IiDIes-StGr.
IT comes pretty hard on some serv-
ants to give up their position where
they can run things and settle down
into the humble position of wives.
MARY" said lady to one such, recent
ly, have you come back to be hired
girl again? / thought you left us to
get married and have home of your
own" $50 did, num-" ''Well, what
have you come back for?" "Well, you
see. mum Johns done purity well, an
we KEEP hired girl, too, and I'm kind
O. tired av the way of life. / thought
I'd like to come back an be boss agin
for while"
INcoRRIGIBLE - Fair Philistine:
eyes, we've just returned from q visit
to Antwerp, and of course we saw Ru-
bens' great picture at the cathedral. I
don't like it bit. 1 never yet saw a
picture by him 1 did like" Artist
(more in sorrow than in anger: "Per-
haps You have not come across the best
examples of that master" Fair Phil
istine: Perhaps not. BY the bye,
there was one Rubens there 1 liked"
Artist (much relieved: "Ah! there
was one, I'm glad of that" Fair Phil
istine: Eyes; it was a picture of his
death painted by sor Sody else