The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-02-28

Hunted to the Verge of Lunacy by Mar
riageable Young and old Ladies.

Hunted to the Verge of Lunacy by Mar
riageable Young and old Ladies.
els this Pennsylvania avenue, sir %
asked beautiful young girl this after
noon of a dignifed old gentleman,
writes Washington correspondent of
the New York Morning Journal.
'tNo you don't - shouted the old
man, as he pulled off his spectacles and
hoped over the curb. 81 know all
about you young firts, and amt so
green as look
The old man threw an eye over his
left shoulder and spurted down the
avenue at top speed, leaving Miss Eva
Dwyer covered with bushes and con-
fusion.
The old man who acted in such re-
markable manner is Senator Salisbury,
of Delaware. He is a pinched- faced
man, and is distinguished by his inor-
dinate love of Morris cove oysters and
aversion to manageable females. A
recent attack of inhammatory rheuma-
tism in the foot has not improved the
old gentleman's disposition, and his
curtness towards his brother Senators
has made him unpopular.
Recently, Senator Wade Hampton,
who is bigger wag since he lost his
leg than ever, started story about
Salisbury that has the effect of making
the latter species of monomaniac.
The story is that Salisbury took a
solemn oath in 1860 never to marry un-
til the Democracy won President, and
that he now intends to lead an heiress
with whose charms he has long been
smitten, to the altar.
The wide circulation of this story ha:
had the effect of bringing a number o.
"heiresses" to Washington whose hearts
have fallen a prey to the accomplished
firt from Dover, and the aged states
mans existence has lately been a sue
cession of spasms. A good-looking fe
male in a Gainesborough hat will give
him kink in the back as though hi
had been kicked by pile-driver, while
the approach of a giddy little creature
in curls will drive him to the verge O
epilepsy.
His experience to-day is but one O
the twenty or more that he has every
day, and his friends begin to fear tina
if something is not soon done for his re
lief the old man will go off in an at
tack of "collywaff1es. "
Whenever there is rustic of silks il
the diplomatic gallery the old gentle
man will hop up as though pin hac
been stuck into him, and four times ou
of every five that he thus jumps he viii
strike his game foot against something
and howl with pain.
A laughable scene occurred in th'
rotunda the other day, when Mary, th'
apple woman, tried to induce the Sena
tor to purchase some of her last year
fruit. She approached him with al
arnient rcd apple IN each hand, ant
smiled as sweetly as the loss of he
teeth would permit.
"Stand back !" the Senator cried
poking his cane at her. "Don't yo
dare to come near me or I'll have yo
arrested !"
"But, Senator, sure," pleaded Mary
'you engaged"
"Engagedp' shrieked the Delawar
can.
And the old man forgot his rheuma
tism for once and hoped up the stair
of the Senate chamber like youn
colt.
81 had no idea," remarked Senate
Hampton, "that Salisbury had been s.
playful in his youth or would not hav
cracked the joke on him. 1t is too bad
indeed, but suppose it can't be helpe'
now."
When Senator Salisbury enters tn
Senat echamber now, he is at once tn
{ objective point of every opera glass il
the gallery, and many an old sweet
heart of his, grown grey and wrinkle'
with weary waiting for the old vetera1
to heave to and pop the question, sigh
like walrus when he ports his helm
and sinks into his seat. He tries hi
best, poor man, to read newspapers ant
write letters to his constituents, but
is plain that his mind is not welded t.
either. He will stick his pen in tn
paste pot and the paste-brush in tn
ink-bottle, and almost invariably ha
his paper upside down. He tried t.
pass off this latter absence of purpos
the other day, when his attention wa
directed to it, by saying that he wa
lefthanded, but the excuse was palpa
bly, lame one. Occasionally he wi
hide his head in the Congressional Re
cord but then he invariably goes t
sleep and has horrible dreams, fror
which he will awake with a start ant
call upon the sergeant nt-at-arms for pre-
! lection.
The condition of the Senator, thoug
: ! painful to his friends, is regarded as
Q wholesome example to the junior Sena
e tors, who may, it is hoped, avoid muc
misery in their old age by leaving flut
; tering hearts to flutter all alone.