Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-11-28
Way back Cider.
Detroit Free Press.

An old farmer from Wayback county
who was brought before the court fol
breaking the peace in a prohibition
county told the following pathetic story:
"You see, jedge, the whole trouble
come of my drinkin' some of new-fan.
gled temperance cider that I amt used
to, and which don't believe I'd ever
get used to afore the horn toots for the
general judgment.
IL war bred and born on farm, jedge,
an I've knowed apple juice since l war
knee high to grasshOpper. I've tam
pered with cider when it war sweet, I've
drunk it jest from the press, an I've
drunk it when it carried a good, stiff
bead; I've laid across a barrel under the
wagon shed and sucked it through a
rye straw from the bunghole when it
war just gilt-edgee, an I've swiggled it
when it war es hard es an iron wedge an
sour 'nough to make q man crOss-eyed
fur life; but, jedge. upon my sacred word,
[ never had no cider to unnerve me like
that they sell in this here town. Jedge,
it can't be the cider of long ago; in can't
he the cider of me boyhood's happy
days.
"You see, jedge,I druv inter town with
load of sweet peraters, an after I'd
sold out jest thought es they don't sell
anything stronger'n cider in this here
Temperance town I'd try little Of tn =
good old drink of ne youth. An jedge,
tried it!
"There war a crowd of old friends
about the tavern an asked 'em up to
the apple juice, and then somebody sed:
Come up agin;' an then another sed:
Sill 'em up at my expense; an still
another sed: Have one with me afore
you co. an that's jest tie way it hap
pened.
Somehow, jedge, it DIDN'T taste like
the cider l war brought up on, but the
bottle had cider printed onto it in gold
letters, an they sed it war cider, an es
long es the flavor of it war agreeable /
war'n't cur'en about it. 1 only took five
drinks, jedge only five common tnmblers
full, an then l begun to feel sort OF
queer, iedge.
Il never had any cider make me feel
that way before. l war first week as a
newborn calf, an then war as strong
es old Sampson afore his head war
shaved. thought could lift the tav-
cIu, Ill tuluA L GIlcu w. Wy mluU b
not clear, ledge, but they say made q
sort of hubbub. They say l throwed q
man over the bar an broke big lookin'
glass with him, an scattered the whole
congregation, an went howlin' down
the main street askin' fur q man of my
strength, an at last walked plump
through a show winder that they sed
cost $3.50. Then I war taken away to
the prison cell. remember all the lit.
tie particulars, jedge, but I expect all
they say about me is too true. I think
1 war drunk, jedge-I am almost certain
sure 1 war drunk, an the new tangled
cider they sell in this here town is to
blame fur it all.
81 kin drink Almost anything with
impunerty, an q little sugar, jedge,
an stand up under it es straight es the
steeple of meetin'-house; kin drink
peach brandy, and apple-jack, an plain,
humble old corn juice half day, with
the usuool intermissions, an still be q
peaceable, law-abiding citizen, hut this
here temp'rance cider is to much for me,
ledge, it's too much for the old man.
Make it easy on nae, jedge, fur Pm done
with temperance drinks Jest IS long es /
live, jedge."
And the Judge, who il very well &C
quainted with the ways of town cider in
Wsyb back county, made it very easy on
the old man.