Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-01-21
AE FRIGHTENED The NeIoAsoRs.
True Story About an innocent Cifizen
and Heartless Hack Driver.

anu fIcafttc>> fld[k GitSSf.
Somestrsnge events frequently occur sbous
police headquarters, and some again that are
mainly distinguished for their ladierous
phases. OF the latter class vas the case last
week Of young married man, who for short
shall be called Japthra K0roski. This young
man. by way of adding to bis weekly stipend,
helped a couple of comrades 10 do neat
Job Of work Saturday evening, after factory
hours. 80 acceptable was the work per-
formed that the oyerseer, IN his mistaken
gratitude, donated quart of old rye as
free will Offering, and Jahthrs Korwki, al
though unaccustOmed to stimnlants, imbibed
his full share. The effect of the full share"
upon the young man, marks an epoch
IA his career, and fixes All event Ia the
minds Of all who who were spectators to the
laughable results.
The flowing bowl having been emptied,
Japthra Kowski trudged his way toward
home through the snowstorm and drifts. As
he bent himself To the task of locomotion,
the frey fluid he had inbibed began TO tingle
through his nerves and mix the ideas that
were flashing through his brain. The gas
and electric lights on Canal street went
whirling round in ineItricable confusion,
like fre-hys In June, whilst the colored
lights OH the street cars as they rushed by
impressed Japthra Kowski with thoughts of
sickly season when drug stores were being
hauled about on wheels to accommodate the
invalids.
Confused and dazed by the storm without
and the burning liquid within, our victim
became bewildered on Fountain street, aud
finding he could no longer resist the tempta-
ton of holding down snow bank. he flung
himself into its depths and raised the neigh
borhood with shrek for help. Fortunately
his cries were heard. and friendly hands car
ried him TO house near by and sum-
moned medical aid. His rescuers not
doubling but they had snow
bound pilgram, almost perishing with the
cold, removed Japthra Kowskis's shoes and
wet neither garments, chatting his limbs to
restore circulation. The man-of- pills, on
arrival, Immediately smelled large alcoholic
rat, and producing an emetic, soon hal
Japthra Kowski illustrating the action of a
violent syphon with decidedly beneficial
effects. The police van then appearing, our
victim, III lieu of breeches, was swaddled in
horse blankets and conveyed to the city
Bastile. Here, after resting a few minutes
aud telling an unvarnished tale of how he
got into such plight, the tender-hearted
policemen re-adjusted his drapery and
bundled him into hack with orders to the
Jehu to see him safe to the arms of his
family.
Japthra Kowski's arrival at his domicile is
yet known as a local event in that neighbor-
hood. The sudden arrival of hack, from
which was borne man wrapped in blankets,
excited the curiosity of the neighbors i'm
mediately. terrible accident must have
occurred, and Japthra Kowski was the unfor-
tunate. The wife, who was visiting, together
with dozen women, rushed into the house
ed his burden in the middle of a room,
whore he stood like n wooden Indian wrapped
in the habiiments of the livery stable. The
situation was most embarrassing to Japthra-
Kowski, who would fain have dismissed his
audience without explanation, for he knew
not what to say except "s'alls right" The
hackman, however, inpatient of delay,
mastered the situation and made formal
leave-taking of the neighbors unnecessary
by seizing the blankets and leaving jap
thra Kowsh standing alone upon his own
doorstep.