National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1885-10-17
A WAR RENINISCENCE.
PERSONAL COURAGE SEVERELY TESTED
on THE BATTLE FIELD.
The Feelings of u Private Soldier on
the Eve of His First Fight Brave
Men Made towards by Having to
March to Possible Death.


GLOW do soldiers feel when about to 90
into battle and when they are actually en-
gagged in connlctYn II has been stated that
every man must feel more or less afraid in
facing such n momentous issue, and that he
is the bravest who by virtue of mental
and moral force is enabled to
beat down the natural shrinking
of human nature from such an ordeal. l
have seen the question answered in various
WAYS in the public press, but to me It seems
not satisfactorily have often talked over
the matter with soldiers on both
sides in perfect frankness, and / acknowl-
edge that the statements made In regard
to It were widely different. | don't pre-
tend that | can settle the question, but as
/ was given TO study this sort Of thing dur
ing the war, and to note any incident that
threw light on the subject matter, my OBJ
servations, as far as can recall them, may
be of interest TO old soldiers and others.
In the first battle | was engaged In (July
IS, 1861, at Blackburn's Ford, Bull Rum,
when onr regiment marched out from the
camps at Manassas junction, the men were
like schoolboys out for holiday, but, with
the exception of my company (Warrenton
Rines), none of them had ever heard the
! man killed In fight. This company was the
one that had repulsed Lieut.. Thompkinss
| of company B, ID United States regular
| cavalry, in his raid on Fairfax Court House
| some time before. The men were eager for
the fray, and the route between the june
tlon and Bull Run was enlivened by joke
and song When, about 10 a. IN. the neat
day, Ricketts, federal battery began to
search the woods In which we lay in line OF
| nhyinna plnnup
| in the demeanor OF the men. They
became very serious, especially when the
| ambulance men came by us bringing q
dozen or more of the wounded of the LIST
! Virginia regiment Of our brigade (Which was
ahead Of us) on stretchers. AS far as can
recall my own sensations, and rs far as !
observed my comrades, | don't think that
anything like fear was exhibited, but II Is
certain that the enthusiasm OF the day be-
fore was very much cooled by the frequent
storm of shell, grape, and canister shot
that crashed among the tree-tops above us.
| When the infantry lines closed aud the roll
| of musketry was almost incessant we were
ordered forward to the brink of the stream,
and don't think single man hung back.
THE BAPTISM OF FIRE.
When we opened fire on the opposite
bank we were In the regulation two ranks
order, and, us well as | can remember, the
only apprehension shown was by the front
rank men who cursed at the rear rank men
for firing so close to their ears. In some
cases in the heat of the rapid
firing the front rank men had theil
hair sngcd by the blaze Of the rifles OF the
rear rank men. IL wasn't so afterward, for
as we gained in experience we fought In
more open order. OF course these men
were untried troops, as | have above stated,
but, I'm talking over the matter many
afterward declared that while they
felt the full gravity of the situation,
that the next moment might be their last on
earth, yet they did not feel any fear. just
as they would be willing to wager their last
dollar on a good poker hand, they were
ready to wager their livesin the battle.
The truth is that soldiers think In com.
ing fight that their chances are better than
those of their comrades. Every man feels
that everybody else is to be killed rather
than himself.
HOW VETERANS FEEL.
Now, with the veteran soldier the case Is
different. After long drilling and disci
pine and exposure to danger he becomes
callous to the peril he must undergo. lie
simply does not think at all of the danger
IL must confront when going into battle
- he does think 1t is with the same in
~ Glance and carelessness begot of habit
~ bh as have hitherto spoken of in these
Syumns, as observable In the women and
children of Petersburg during the siege
under storm Of shot and she'll Custom
blunts all sensibility to peril After our
! regiment had been in two or three battles
even when drawn up in line preparatory &c
an advance, and while shells were blowing
up the ground around them, have Often
seen groups Of men seated on a spread out
blanket playing poker with as much zest
and sang froid as when In the safety Of theii
winter-quarter cabins, and around them
would be other groups standing, watching
with fascinated interest the progress OF the
game. ..--...
BIBLES NOT IN DEMAND.
have seen It stated that the troops were
accustomed to pull out their Bibles on thu
, eve of n conflict and study them prayer
fully. That is all nonsense, as far as oui
regiment Is concerned land | can only speak
for that. The truth is, that when the rea
work of campaigning and marching began
, I'm 1862 don't believe there were half dozer
Testaments in the entire regiment. We
''shucked to the bun, " so to speak, and
did not carry an ounce weight more thar
was absolutely necessary. You see, besides
haversacks, with three days ratlons, rifle,
and accouterments, we had also to pack
eighty rounds of cartridges-forty In tn,
box and forty rolled in the blanket-nC
light load for rapid marching.
There was one thing that struck me AZ
singular when the regiment was drawn NJ
on the eve of Il charge, aud old soldiers viii
recognize the truth of my statement, ant
that was the effect that the preparatory
act had upon the men Il can't speal
= more explicitly in family journal)
but men would constantly drop on
of ranks few PAGES TO thu
rear and return, clean up to thu
time that the order forward, 'guide center
was given. Now, while the men We're thus
standing at ease in the line, to all appear
ances they would be as cheerful and chatty
In relation TO the issues of the coming bat
tie as If they were sitting around winter
campfire. The man Of acute sensbllity
no matter what may be his personal
courage, must have solemn thought,
when he reflects that in the next
half hour he may be stretched upon thu
plain CHASTITY corpse, for he has seen 1t II
the case of many of his comrades Nobody
but stolid brute who never had any nerves
or sensibility could 20 into battle the first
time with an utter disregard Of the peril ht
must meet with. The danger is too immi
nent to be lost sight Of. But what | wan
to urge Is, that as "eels get used to being
skinned us the saying goes, so the veteran
soldier becomes callous to the possibilities
of the situation,
WHERE HISTORY Is IN ERROR.
The histories have frequent mention Of
armies being "cager to be led to the fray,
&C., but | think this phrase was evolved
, from the imag!nations Of men who nevel
saw a squadron or regiment set in tn,
field. The army of northern Virginia wa,
perhaps as gallant an army as ever drew
a trigger, and don't believe ! am mis-
stating facts when say that they were neyel
, eager for battle as such, but they wanted tt
be led on when in their judgment al
advance was necessary, And here l may
say, that the general intelligence of the bulk
of the volunteer army on either side was al
important factor in the conduct of cam
paigns by the generals. They were forced