Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1885-07-10
Rer. sam Joaes.

speaking his popularity is on the IN
crease, and immense congregations
greet him wherever he goes. Thous-
ands have been converted under his
preaching.
Following are a few aphorisms
from his sermons:
The church and the world are as
thick as niggers in Chattanooga.
Inever saw pretty man that was
worth killing except your husbands
addressing some ladies).
And when you go to swap horses,
(signifcanr pause and scratching his
head, we'll, 1 don't know which
would be the right side there, the
devil is generally on both sides Of q
horse trade.
Most men when they feel mean
feel natural.
The Lord don't shoot cannon balls
at snow birds.
When your little cup is full you
can just back out.
The test of the fisherman is the
length of his string.
You have to get into the river be-
fore you can swim.
Custom is the Law Of fools and is
running this country.
Red liquor and Christianity wont
| eAov "a, tho Soma hide
It's no use for man to get relig-
ion if he don't quit lying.
1 am Methodist and want to he
the best one God ever made.
You dance with this world and
you'll go to hell with this world.
You don't believe what you don't
see. Did you ever see your back
bone.
The devil is t.,o much of a gentle
man to stay where he is not welcome.
Many man imagines he's got re-
Iiglon, when It's only liver complaint.
God bores through mans head,
to his heart and down to his pocket.
If such a crowd as this would
come to prayer meeting yon would
scare your pastor.
More people are going to be damn
ed on account Of their money than
for anything else.
4 How lovely is patient woman.
God pity the man who has forked.
tongue wife.
Some men think they have back.
bone, but it is nothing but a cotton
strlng run up their back.
Society is heartless old wretch
and II you don't get out of it yot
will go to hell with it.
/ photograph your ugliness ant
: you sit here and laugh at 1t. 1o'
: ought to be ashamed.
If any man don't like what l sa,
2 lat him come to me afterwards ant
: say SO and I'll-forgiye him.
: When first started out / Ma
a afraid 1 would hurt somebody
e feelings. Now am afraid ] wont.
You may not like my grammar.
: am trying to get my style and gram
4 mar down on level with you.
fused to dance, but when l want
: ed wife 1 went to the prayer meet
4 ing, and ] beat your sort, too.
e A Christian who would do thing
/, in New York that he would not do 9
e home is very poor Christian.
K 1t takes less sense to criticise tha
4 to do anything else. There are
!. great many critics IN the asylum.
n don't think much of dignity. NJ
b observation is that the more dignit
: man has the nearer dead he is.
e When the doctor says you can
i live but an hour you'll want ju'
le such preacher as myself talking
n you.
When you find man that is frs
e class for some one thing, you vi
p fiad him pretty good for eyerythir
!, else.
y If you don't like the way these Sc
ID vices are going, there are thr'
{, doors, you are cordially asked
T. leave.
es / have known women too poor
I'D own 3 pair of shoes-but l nev
i'd knew one too poor to own lookin
OF glass.
:" / have seen preachers who look
as sad and solemn rs il their faith
in heaven was dead and hadn't Il
of them cent.
II Heaven is the spiriturl center
n gravity for all things good; hell
: the center of gravity for all thir
n. evil
:. You don't believe what you do
a. understand. Do you Nndersta
es lwhy sQma COWS have horns and so
III, are muleY.
y. A horse that viii pull on . G
no collar will do to depend on-and
- best Christians are those who ne
81 need warming up.
ion In Georgia town . number
s,s girls married men to reform thu
- and now the town is full Of II
inc whippoorwill widows.
.-s Whiskey is good thing IN
me place, and that place Is IN hell.
49, pet there / will drink al that