Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1885-04-23
HERE AND THERE.

Dear, sir, have lost my leg" to which
the Westchester man replied, us he hur-
ried away my dear friend, am very {
sorry, but have not seen anything of it." .
The Arg0naut.
A Mormon editor, in II recent issue of
his paper, says 1.-The unknown woman
who was killed at this place about three
months ago by the cars proves to be one
of the wives Of the editor of this paper"
A new count appears TO have revealed the
fact.
tramp stood at the kitchen door,
And for meal did there lmplore.
The lady took him for timer,
And thought she'd make him earn his dinner.
She brought 10 him an ancient kettle,
Requesting that he'd show his metal;
"When done," she added, ''lend shantE
He simply murmured, "Mend-l-cant"
--rolkers Statesman
"Oh, I've seen all the reporters in the
country since last saw you, and they're
awful nice and kind. do believe | have
seen every newspaper reporter in the
United States. The reporters in New
York are mighty nice young men.'-HisS
| Llulu Hurst
An English traveller i'll looking over
some American town names came across
| the well known ones of Pawtucket, She
/ tucket and Nantucket. "Haw! haw !"
he exclaimed, I'm blessed if the whole
| family didn't take it, Pittsba5g ChfDai-
cal Telegraph
Man cannot monkey with destiny
| Neao Orleans Picay,tne, Nor buzz saw.
| Boston Post Nor with can of kero-
sene, nor gun that is not loaded, il may
be added, to stop controversy. -Neio
Orleans PicdyuRe. One more and we
have done. Nor with worlds fair
The story goes TINT would-be author
calling ut the office of the old Boston
publishing house of Ticknor u Fields,
thus gave away his evident dislike at the
appearance of the partner whom he did
meet ''Is this Mr.. Fields ~ II am
he" well, then, I'd like to see Mr..
Ticknor." Waterbury Conn american.
John" said Dakota merchant to his
clerk, "how's the Thermometer this morn
ing?" "Forty-two below zero" ''And
the probabilities Z" Fair, slightly
warmer" "Well, throw open the win
dows and get down the stock of linen
busters again. thought we were packing
away those goods too SOON"
There's nothing I'm life like II Jig or n reel;
/ | First a tap with your toe,then drum with your
heel,
And now double-shuftie, AMI next heel-and-tpe,
. 1
And AZ you grow warmer, your muscles grow
y free,
And loOser your ankle, and looser your knee /;
A | And you're In your glory hurrool arrah then
Old men become boys and gossoOns become
men.
II. b. Gydres.
Penitentiary official-''If you have any
trade, prisoner, state it, and well put you
to work at it." Prisoner Gust entered y
well, boss, was brung up rs bar-
tender, and I'd like to work at that" He
o was put to the bars of the casting pot Of
the foundry as the nearest mode of ne
commodhting him. HuHtSDilie, 7erds,
Item.
Where did you get this French
If Bible 2" asked Smith, taking up n book
from Blacks table. Blnck-"F French
Bible The only Bible have is the one
N you have in your hand. Had it ever since
was married." Smith (holding up the
book -"What do you call that but
French 2" Black--"By gracious so il is.
Funny never found that out before!"
A physician was driving along the
street when his horse took fright and ran
In away. He was thrown violently to the
sidewalk and knocked senseless. Pre-
sently he recovered little from his I'm
consciousness and, noticing the Grove
which had gathered about him, remarked
10 What's the matter gentlemen? Anybod,
hurt: I'm Doctor Can be o
nny seryicef'
~ "Oh, Mr. Smith, said a young lady n
III u Jersey City church fair, Il want YOU
help for moment. Certainly" re
piled Mr. Smith, what eau l do fo
k. you - II have just sold tidy for 81
TINT cost IL cents, and want You to tel
me what percentage that is. "A trans
action of that kind, Miss b." said Mr.
Smith, who is lawyer, gets away on
of percentage and into larceny
The lady of the house was II handsome
woman of Il mature order of beauty, ant
when she had completed her toilet sl,
gazed foudlyai herself in the glass. I'm,
remarked TO he, hcw mnid You'd Civ
II a good deal to he as good looking as nm
wouldn't You, now z" "Yes'm almost ~
much rs ynu woitid give to be ns young ID
am" II is not believed that this cpl
grammatic young woman will he chosen
again ut the expiration of her prcseu
f. term, LITE.
The French journals state that due
was recently arranged between Il French
man md mn American, the condition
being that but one shot should lie eS
go by LOT. The Frenchman got the tirs
chance, but failed to hit his adversary
As the Yankee lifted his weapon the othe
called ont Hold, will buy your shot.
After considerable higgling the Frencl
man agreed to pay $4,000. and the du,
was Mt an end.
George" she said softly, what is IL
meaning of the word Oscillation ~ 1T
In | word nSpnlatiOt, ~ rat,lind f.anr1a ,,,,
'ry, derously lis defined by Webster MS I'll
act of kissing;' by Worcester to salu
with kiss" Indeed? Then if
: You were to kiss me that would be 'oscl
lation Y" Exactly. BY the way, Mi
Clara, have you read the last number
ere, the BluestOckingS No" she said r
gretfully. Il promised myself tn
pleasure this evening, and i'll fact was in
cutting the leaves when your name W
= announced"
ove, The following story is told of Congress
man Burlcigh of Rensselaer, and Washin
owe, ton counties: When he first appeared
Washington in conversation with broth
congressman one day he said "A ia
ticular friend Of mine Mt home told 1
cam before leaving that after arriving he
there would be two important things (
""S me to attend to. One was TO stop swei
ing and the other to appear in swallo
III, tailed coat. Well, have stopped swei
'e' ing remarked Burleigh, but I'll
falls id if will wear swallow-tail coat.
Glgnn's Falls Times. .. .5-..
Medical advice by telephone: Husbr
'tian My wife has a severe pain in the bu
of her neck, and complains of sort
sourness in the stomach. Physician
She has mnlarial collie. Husband WI
u, ;, shull do for her: TThe girl at the &c,
trail switches of to mnchinist talki
to Il sawmill man. Mach MIST to hi
band think she is covered with SEA
inside, about an .nrh thick. Let her g,
:, down during tn night ami before 5
fires np in TIL lnorn.I5 take humn
! aId pound her thoroughly all over, n
then take II hose md hitch il to the ii
plug AMI was her ont, Husband has
further need for the doctor. La0l,ay
.Nedicdi J0urhdi,
II intended to tell Jane Ia bring
fresh bucket Of water said The wife
ia, Professor Nuttleheth. locking up ll4
nils her sewing :" You doubt ess mean
bucket OF fresh water, re0ined her Ii
band. " wish You would pay 80
little attention to rhetoric. Your II
takes are embarrassing few |
ments later the professor snid -
dear, that picture would show to htt
advantage il you were to hang it over
clock" All, she replied, you don
she less mean if ] We're 70 hang il above
clock. If were TO hang it over