New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-04-22
The Lime-Kiln Club.

The Lime-Kiln Club.
Detroit Free Press.
Il hold heah in my hand, said Broth
er Gardner, as he slowly rose up at the
opening Of the meeting, "a-letter from
Guild pusson in Texas infofmin' us dat
he has named his baby Brudder Gard
ner Holdback. I presumeit am boy
baby, though it may be--a gal. De
writer fatters hisself dat he has done
q smart thing, an dat de fucher of dat
chile will be plain sailin'. If anybody
wants to name his offspring arter me or
Sir Isaac Walpole, or Giyeadam Jones,
Or Judge Cadaver, we can't hinder, but
SO fur as ar personally consumed 1
want to indulge in few remarks in re-
gard to dis habit.
II verify believe dat day foolishness Of
sartin parents in tyin' names to der off
springs has beclouded3 an wrecked
many lives. De ole man who was
shovelin' snow mex doah to me de cd.
der day was named Henry Clay. It
was on the ideah dat he. would make
mighty smart man, but de mint he got
old huff to realize who an what Clay
was he pulled right back. He couldn't
nebber git dar', an he knowed it. In
stead of bein' addressed as Henry Clay,
eberybody calls him Hank Dirt an
hes gwine to be called dat till de clay
kivers his coffin.
"Some Vars ago naybur O. mine
named his baby Washington Lincoln
Grant Smith He war bound to fill
dat boy chock full o military genius an
craftsmanship, but de chile wasn't TO-
Vars ole befo' he realized dat it was too
steep. He hadn't reached ten befo' he
was thief an a Liar, an de odder day
he went to prison for. burglary. De
name was too long fur de public to
grapple wild, an so he was called Wash
Grant Later on it got to be Wash.
board, an by de name of dashboard
Smith he am registered on de prison
books.
81 has seen Prime Minister Jones
drawn swill cart around, while, clus
behind him, leading yaller dog by a
piece of old clothes-line, came Mont
morenci Stubbins. L has seen Queen
Cathrine Bivens at de wash tub, while
de Princess Bienville was a. hangin' out
de clothes fur her. I has witewashed
on de same job wild Gear jackson. an
has BACKED stoves alonside Of George
de Fo'th Bones.
''De white folks am jist as bad, an it
really does me good to see by de papers
dat 'Hortense Victoria Clark has skip
ped out wild DE Lisle Fitzhue Brown
who was professional roller skater
loafer on salary of SIS per week.
Ebery day de police judge am sendin'
Zachariah Chambers, Roscoe Conk-
lings, Thomas Jefferson and Henry w.
Longfellows to de Jug, an cherry day de
good old names of Jane an Betsey an
Sarah an Emma an Lucy am CROWN
in contempt wild de female sect.
'sSpeakin' fur de cull'd race alone, I say
dat de fadder who rises above Moses or
Samuel or William when huntin' fur
name fur his baby boy am coaxin' biles
and bunions to grow whar' dey doan'
need to. De mudder who can't make q
selection from Chloe, Catherine, Violet
an Sarah Jane needn't feel riled if her
gal runs off wild bowlegged stove
blacker an eands up her days in a gar
ret. Let us now attack de regular pur-
ceedin's."
DIDN'T RESOLVE.
Waydown Bebee begged to offer a
resolution asking the Legislature of
Michigan to enact law to more fully
carry out the provision of the Civil
Rights bill, as applicable to the colored
population of this State.
rights lately, Brudder Bebee?" asked
the President.
II can't say as I has, sab, but 1 has
heard complaints from Guild men dat
dey hain't treated as good as white
people" }#s
Name few"
II has been told dey can't stop at first
class hotels, an dey am not wanted at
roller rinks."
"Brudder Bebee, kin you tell my why
any Guild man should want to pay 81
a day to stop at fust- class hotel kept
by white man an frequented by tony
white folkses, when he kin be made to
home at a house kept by GUILD man
fur de benefit Of Guild people, at one
| quarter de price?"
mot 'zactly, sah."
s,@ aDo you know why any respectable
Guild pusson should want to frow away
his time an money wheelin' hisself
round an round a rink patronized by
( silly gals, soft-headed women an evil
minded men?"
|. mo. sah." Esa@1
& Neither do I. It would be much
mo- TO his credit to go out an pound
snow Your resolushun am decided no
/ cause for ackshun, an you will at once
sot down. De laws Of dis kentry am
big huff to gin cherry man in it, no
matter what his race or cutler, all de
| - H., l. !. . 4