Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-08-13
Not Likely to Return.
New York Cor. Syracuse Standard.

Not Likely TO Return.
New York Cor. Syracuse Standard.
4 tall, smootbly-shaven man walk
ed into the office of a we'll known
Broad street broker few days ago.
He carried d snail brown coIored bag
in his hand and over his arm hung a
fashionable out top-coat. He was
evidently just from the country, al
though his clothes were of q recent
city make. No one was in the Office
except the Office boy, whom he found
sitting in the cusi0ned chair Of the
broker, with his feet on the desk, in
dustriously engaged in smoking q
cigarette. As the visitor appeared at
the door of the back office the office
boy glanced at him through a cloud OF
blue and ill-smelling smoke, and ex>
planned, between puffs: Come in,
young Teller, don't be afraid"
The visitors face expressed sur
prised, bat he said nothing.
Il suppose" said the office boy,
with ready nonchalance, that you've
come in to see old Brown"
"Well," went on the youth glibly,
che amt in. He's out in the country
on bender"
con 8 what2" asked the visitor.
Con a spree You see he sent the
The what9" inquired the visitor, as
he seated himself IN q chair.
That's right, make yourself at
home. Have q cigar3" as he opened
Mr. Browns desk and pulled at box
Of Havanas.
''You were speaking of the old
girl, " interrupted the visitor, as he de
clined the preferred cigar
ooh, yes" went on the lad. "He
sent his wife to her home In Vermont.
Did you see Mrs. B.? No? Well,
duffer right under her thumb. He
had some friends come down to the
city last spring to see him. They
wanted him to take them around the
town and show 'em the elephant.
Old Brown was afraid to go. He said
he'd see about it, Then he sent me
over to bis house with note to Mrs.
B. I took it up to the house. Mrs. B.
read it.
"What?' she said, Mr.. Brown shall
have to be away tonight. No, sir.
You tell him that [ shall expect him
home to dinner He went home to
dinner, too. Well. as [ was saying,
old Brown sent Mrs. B. off to her
home and then started out On a royal
old bender. He leftme stack of let
tiers to mail to Mrs. B. every day to
make her think he was in town at
tending to his business. Oh! I'm on
to his nibs, I tell you"
"You seem to know a great deal
about your employer" observed the
visitor.
"Well, should smile. We're all
on to hun. The bookkeeper says if
he had such a wife he commit suicide.
Why, would you believe it, he's afraid
TO breathe when Mrs. BIS in town.
I'm the Junior partner of this firm.
Is there any business [ can do for you?
Want to buy any stock? Hello! here
comes the 5ookkeeper now"
At this moment the boy tossed his
cigarette into the waste. basket, and
took his boots off the desk.
How are you2" inquired the book
keeper, as he entered the back room.
Il didn't expect you home so soon.
How did you enjoy the seashore2"
''First-rate," replied the visitor.
'I declare, Mr. Brown" continued
the bookkeeper, 81 would hardly
have known you, since you shaved
off your whiskers. Well. Richard, !"
he added to the ofice-boy, II guess
you can 90 now"
But he spoke too late The boy had
already left. He didn't come back,
either. This is the explanation given
by Mr. Brown for a card which ap-
peared in the front window of his
office, which read as follows:
"a quiet, industrious, discreet Office
boy wanted. No idiots need apply"
The Chinese pheasants turned loose
in Oregon some time since have in
terbred with the native grouse, and
new game bird, with the head of a
pheasant and wing and tail feathers
of a grouse is the result
! The death few weeks ago of his
! last descendant has removed the diff
culties which had been placed for so
long in the way OF strangers seeing
! the house where Goethe passed such
a large portion of his life and did