Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1885-11-14
NAsBY's PosToFFICE.
PETROLEUM V. nAS SOME SAD
EXPERIENCES.
He breaches a Sermon-A Subscrip-
ton for His Relief Applied
Upon What He Owes.

IN BASTERL (fOr taKln POSSESSION Nv
the postoffis), CoNFBDEIr X ROADS (Which
is in the State NV Kentucky, October 10,
1SS5.-Last evening q roomer reached the
Corners that the President had relented,
and that 1 he'd reserved my conishn ez
postmaster. Immejitly every citizen Nv
the Corners, witch / owed, formed into a
perceshn and cum 10 the Basteel to asser-
tame how perposed to arrange fur payin
Nv EN- off. The perceshn incloodid every
man in the Corners and sum from the out
lyin destricks, and ez | knowd | shood
never git SO many people together agin, I
couldn't let slip the occashun without en-
lightenin Nv EN-.
took for my text the passage, " Ye shell
not muzzle the OK that treadeth out the
corn" did not give EN- the chapter and
verse. ez he'd forgotten EN-, but that made
no difference, ez nary one Nv them Good
heV found it, OWN to the preyalin inabil-
ity to reed among the Dimocrsy Nv this
visinity. One Dimocrat did learn to reed
last year, and the cuss immejitly turned
and yotid for Blame. This is, however, a
digresshun. l opened out onto EN- thus:
My brethren, am sorry TO say that you
are heer under a error. | wish to God that
wat 700 hev heerd wuz troo, that President
Cleveland he'd relented and sent the COM
mishn, witch | am entitled to, but he hem t.
The niger Lubbock is still Postmaster, and
| am keepin chare warm in a basteel,
ceptin when. like Gagged lion, | pace my
! weery cell Wat l owe the Corners will
stay owed till jestis is done me.
The tpVt soy - Woo Sh al NOT Inuzzle tho
OK that treadeth out the corn" 1t wuz the
rackit in Joodee to thrash wheat and SIGH
by maxim floor and heyin oxen tired over
it, and the text insists that the tredin OK
shell not be muzzled, that he may, ez he
needs, take hack at the provender
Grover Cleveland hez violated this plane
injunxen uf the Skripters in the most
crooel manner. Who muz the oxen that
trod out his corn, let me ask? 1t wuZ me
and VOC 1t was the civil snryis Dimocrisy
wv all the States North, and the noble Di-
mocrisy NV the South, which, shotgun in
hand, refoosed to hev the ballot-box con-
taminated and polluted by permittin mig
gers to vote thus carryin their States tri-
umfantlv for the DimoCrisy. And what SEE
the Skripters?
. y e shell not muzzle the OK that tread
eth out the corn
Wat did me, this pertikler OK, tired on
the thresin floor fur? Why did l con-
trlbbit to the coz two-thirds of the So 30
witch borrered NV a Louisville drummer
wich wuz so drunk that he mistook me for
solvent citizen? Wuz it to keep Lub-
book in the postoffic at the Corners, or wuz
it to heV that place myself so that | coold
pay 700, my breetbrin, what | owe 700?
(Applause.) Wat did Deekin POgram and
Issaker Gavitt and Kernel McPelter go over
f,,4D In; f,tr Il La
kratic tikket at the risk NV the Peniten-
tiary? Wuz it to keep Pollock and that
pest Joe Bigler in the Otiises they fill? Not
much. We are the oxen that trod out the
corn, and wat sez the Scripters
g Ye shell not muzzle the OK that tread
eth ont the corn"
Wat sort Nv men does Grover Cleveland
take US fur? Does he spose that he wood
hev been elected he'd he announced in
advance that at the close of eight months
NV his administrator ther wood hev bin
q Republican in Office from Maine to
Texas
My friends, no wood hev stood no more
chance than a muSkeeter in hell. He'd he
made sich q announcement, Blame wood
hev kerried Kentucky. The shotgun wood
hey dropped from the nervelis hand Nv the
Missippi Dimocrat, the Moo York GIN
singer wood hev shet off free drinks to
voters and the eleckshun wood hev gone
by default. We shood never hev enthoosed
over Civil Service or any other kind Nv
Reform, on them terms. Fur wat SEE the
Skripter?
" lie shell not muzzle the OK which
treadeth out the corn
Uez Grover Cleveland heerd from Ohio?
Is he going to heer from New York and
Firginny? Wat waz the matter in Ohio?
!, 4
withstandin the money lac spent in buvin
votes, and why wuz Hoadley defeetid in
spite NV the fact that ne bargained fur
the beer vote? 1t wuz Postohis that did
it. How Good any disinterestid Dimocrat
wich he'd waited hungrin and thurstin for
q long and dreery yeers, go into the can
vas with any zeel when he saw the Post
offs, wich wuz hizzen, in poseshun NV a
Black Republican and no move bein made
fur histin him? Wat sort of incentive
wuz it fur werk, when the provender fur
witch they WIZ workin wuZ within site
and every blasted one NV em with a muz-
zle on? IF Blame he'd bin electid we
Good hev fought on and fought ever, fur
we shoodent hev expected anything from
him, but after levin elected a Dimekrat
President, to hev the promised land with
in site and reech and not being permitted
to enter and grab. it is too much. No
wonder the Dimocrisy Nv Ohio wilted.
"Ye shell not muzzle the OK that treadeth
out the corn
Wat will the harvest be? Damfino. We
are muzzled and Grover Cleveland is the
muzzle. He stands like adamantine wall
betwix me and wat | labored fur Don't
he know that a Democrat can't continyoo
a Democrat without a Postoffis, or at least,
the hope of one? Under my weary feet is
Al. Il l.
but he has put a muzzle on my mouth and
can't get nip. Across the way is the
Postoffis, but it is not fur me. To the rite
is Bascom's bar, but it is not fur me. A
little beyond is McPelter's distillery, bur
it is not fur me. In the White House sits
Grover Cleveland, put there by me and SIGH
as me. but he is cold and immovable. Wat
to him is my empty stomach? Wat to him
is it that this minute | am without a shirt,
my sole one being in the wash l thot |
wuz an ox-methinllS now J am an ass.
trod out his corn and am muzzled. Wat a
violashen of Skripcherl
g. e shell not muzzle the OK which tread
eth out the corn"
My breethrin, ez l am martered fur yoor
sake, implore 700 to take up subscrip-
ton fur my benefit.
Goliath Sampson sed that ought to be
done, and gittin sheet of paper they he'd
Pompey Gavitt which can rite, put down
ther names and wuz delighted to see how
promptly they cum up and made Their
marks ez he wrote EN-. Not one NV EN-
subscribed less than 81, and | felt that |
wuz agoin to get through the fall in com-i
parative comfort till red what every blastid
one nv EN- he'd affixed to his legal sigma
toor 1t wuz these chillin words, " To be
credited on account" That settled it.
am more muzzled than ever. Wat good
does it do to me to credit on account"
l wood take cents on the dollar, cash, fur
that subscripshon. l kin postpone my
debts, but the cravin Nv a Democratic
stumick for stimulants is to wunst.
PETROLEUM V Nasty,