New-York tribune., 1885-08-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE TALK OF THE DAY
Water ponds in Chill covered with thin Ice on
August 5. The country seems to be appropriately
named.
Cephrcnes was one day overcome by the fatigue of
carrying bricks and mortar 10 build the pyramid that
his Aceoriiugy be stroled into tonsoria,
paror kept by Ptdrmigan. garrulous wight, wen
posted regarding the weather and the changes OF the
"A shave good Ptaruigan" ouo,h cepbrenes. seating
himself upon q (autua. '1is well. oh mighty prince.
responded barUer who forthwith proceeded to talk
his vicm Into the arms OF Isis aud Osiris AT last no
drew long breath aud asked: ION, mighty prince Is
calling in bis Ethiopian slaves he Sde them lay hands
on the sh mpooing knaye aud make him swallow pint
of his bay This was done. and the seaoaning
expired in great agony much to the amusement
of the jovial Cephrenes. -,
curiosity upon meteorological subects-lChicago Ram
bier.
An Oakland CCalJ Judge declined the application Of
Canadian recently for Naturalization because the latter
little OF this coIntrys affairs that he stated his
belief king ruled the United States.
"Pa" said Johnny Caution "a you remember that
poem about a Cheftan to the Highlands Bsund, tell
lug the sciller hump hssef because he'd come the
"Your description is very ineegant. Jvhn. but recall
the verses you speak Of" Mei ~ go you one that
feer with htr said he'd put mp drsss II the ferryboat
man would Ro meo the water PiIlsburg Cnrsnicle-
Telegraph.
"Iaw say" languidly observed ono dude to another
faw looking into the bwain" "Yaas," drawled the
other, but that don't intcrwest US, dontcher khow'
lNorristown Herald.
A pea sheling machine has been invented which can
do as much work several hundred women In the
same length OF time. But then 1t never stops to talk.
Connecticut farmer tells how sheep kill rattcsnakes
in his section by surrounding the reptiles ana Dreaming
upon them until they stupehed. after which they
trnmple them death. The California hog has more
rjsSi IN and BEGINS TO cat the snake tail first and
the snake bites HIM the hctrrhe seems TO like
ssc, on hin Int a lean porker VIII occasionally
cumb to the terrible venom.-lsan Francisco Post.
"f wonder how that dance on the tight rope
"oh EASY enough Like everything else. 1t has to be
taut" ,.,.
-[Chicago Rambler.
MONEY MATTERS.
'Tis d Joke
To be dead broke
LIES Joy is snapped
II you are strapped
Fun Is barred up
When you're hard up.
There's no delight
When con Is tight.
But you can win
II you have tin.
And get much trust
Hyouye the dus.
And cut up tricks
With spondulix.
And gayly rush
When you nush
-tchicago Sun.
Baseball IL now being played In Siberia, the game
having been introduced by the military authorities
n recreatlye reward for mertorus convicts of duty.
Teacher-what il an engineer Boy No. IA man
who works au engine. Teaoher-what Is pioneer
Boy Ne 2--The that works the piano Worcester
Gazette.
Poet" What do you think OF my last poem r
ESitor-" think IL ought 10 have pension"
Poet sreay nv psnsoa ssip0sa Mhy u The feet
Newman Independent
The man who owns mill doesn't care dam for
water p0wer.-l Merchant Traveller
Come, ruddy nose.
Tell her tnat I've been out upon the sea
Where wind that's salty blows,
And not upon u roaring spree
While she's been drinking fragrant tea
-(Boston Budget
"Iwsh you would renew this note. My father will
indorse Tor me-" said Texas youth to Nose schanm-
Ven fsier got more sense than to indorse for
such you vas vat SECURITY sn uot ror me DOL
-lrexas Sifungs.
Bus do not make bullion neither do bears make beer
because they do = little brun.-frctzels Weekly
The month Of July 1885, The London Echo says. will
Ia a. ono of the driest record. The OBJ
servers at registered scarcely half an inch Of
rain the usual quantity being two and q haifinohes
Aman called on the Chief OF Police Of Allegheny few
doys ago aud said had been robb ID Of hfty million
dollars TIE man is supposed 70 have been & q eurvs
mir
becn' paid half Of his seasons saary.-lNoristown
Herald.
Life Insurance Agent-Comc lot me make you out a
Mi Mr. Dusenbury-Not to-day sir. ,oo ooo ,,.,
"Why not The premium OH 100000 wouldn't be
much IL would 10 nice sum to leave your wife.
handsome young widow with $4,000 Is the most dan
cerous legacy could leave behind hm"-lPhadel-
phia Cali
Fpkius came down to tho club last night with great
problem weighing on his mind.
Ia and heado
to the boys with the air Of man who has got poser
- stand On my ne'' '"0 000o III 'a'''' '"'0 "'
"IS No one yentured to contradict him.
snow" continued he triunphaptly p" when stand on
my ieet why don't the blood all rush into my feetr
Because" replied Miss Coshannigan's orothor "be-
cau,e Flipkins your feet arc not empty.
The boys all laughed but Fpkjns said he eouldnt see
any joke-lLynn Union
Itis announced that scientist by tho name of OILS
zewsk has succeeded In obtaining temperature OF
s93o below zero Very Interesting OF course, but hat
Is he going to do with III
Flcas having invaded church near Quitman, Ga, In
large numbers attempt to Danish them by kindlnx
fro of pine needles made Tho Insects quickly dis
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS with the church.
How TO Eat a watermelon.-To be properly enjoyed.
tho porfect watermelon should be pounced on IA the
patch lust after up Ii should he carefully seected
In response to an eager thamp there snouid Ioii9w
dead and mcay sound. anl the melon should weigh not
less than twenty-five pounds After II pulled IL should
be split from end ond with short bladed pocket knife,
Sarsnn 10 s looso from is connosn sha lind iod
ment sdc only. At this point the knlfe 70 to be
feast itself on tho vision thus suddenly brought View
then tho should bo scOOped ont with tho hand aud
its neetsrious meat thrust upon tho hst and thraty