The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21
A FOOL YR1EHD.

3VO4 xR60V.
There d certainly grim and COM
Portable Joy in going in search of Bit
ter and implacable foe. There Is an
exciting hunger in the eye and in the
heart as we follow him by day and
camp on his trail at night. Then when
we meet and mix him up with the green
sward, and knock his front teeth loose
and swell up his proud nose and put an
olive green and cadet-blue dado over
his eye and q cigarette-pocket on his
cheek, and erect little knobs all over
him in places where nature did not
design to have them. we walk away
with the idea that we are taller and
wider and draw more water and exert
more influence than we did before.
Even when we ask the Police Judge
how much it will be il we pay it in adj
vance, and we use up the funds in that
way when we had intended to invest
them in other channels, we can not
say that we regret it if the cause seemed
just and the provocation great.
But what shall we do with the warm
personal friend who sits up nights to
love US, but hurts us in every corner by
his lack of discretion We can not
whip him and throw him away. We
can not get him shut up in an insane
asylum, rs it was not designed for
idiots. It was made for people who
once had brains. It is q conundrum
which more than one of us hos given
up
If the fool friend could have his jaws
locked with . time-lock, and then be
fed by an attendant through the vest
pocket we could then set the time lock
to open after election or just before
breakfast on the day of judgment. or at
such other date as VIC desired, and all
would be well, but you can not do that.
The jaw of the fool friend wags on and
on till the goose of the one he loves Lest
on earth is cooked to q rich, deep
brown.
An enemy may say mean things of
you, but they lose force because people
know at once by his bitterness that he
is your enemy; but he who knows your
inmost heart, who knows what salary
you receive and how much it lacks of
maintaining you. how mean you are in
your family and how pleasant you are
in other peoples families, how you
smile through the day and snore
through the night. how earnest you are
In your labors toward reform in every
thing except your own habits, and
thousand other little glimpses into your
home life which none but q friend may
know, when he has no brains to balance
his warm affection for you, think what
ruin he can furnish you at carload
rates.
In matters wholly political it is really |
safer to have the Endorsement of ono
who is wise and wicked, sometimes,
than the earnest but misguided efforts
Of the man whose motives are good but
whose brains, in the hurry end confu-
sion incident to creation, were bestowed |
upon large mouse-colored mule.
When your friend forgets himself,
forgets his business, forgets his own in
terests and his hopes of bright immor-
tality beyond the grave in order to 60
about and do you good, when he goes
without food and sleep and rest that he
may labor for you, and at last, when
the campaign is drawing toward
close. and all ct once you come upon
he wreck and ruin that mark the path
way of the hurricane, and you follow it
IN great bitterness for miles only at last
70 find that it is the work of your friend,
what can you do? Can you take club
and mash his smiling face? Can you
tab his warm heart, whose every throb
through life has been for you? Can you
'end the swift-winged bullet crashing
through the massive skull of your
riend. thus tearing the cobwebs loose
rom his Uranium and allowing the gas
o escaped
All. no. Better far to accept defeat
han to stain your hand with blood of
'ne whose very devotion to you has
moved you under so deep that you will
rave to live on the leather ends of your
till relief can come.
sometimes think that if the fool
Iiller would give little more attention
o his business, and would try little
harder to earn his salary, there would
Ne less complaint and less dissatisfsc-
ion on the part of the intelligent tax
aAyer. Now, for instance, suppose that
le should. prior to each election. hold a
examination of fools. to
lose with a grand tournament of fool
hot al thirty yards rise; or the fool
ould be made to pay each year for
license, the revenue to 60 to the Gov
rnment partial fools to pay fifty dol
ar license. chronic fools one hundred
ollars, and hopeless fools two hundred
ollars per year. I'd like 10 be instru-
mental in getting such q law passed, :
nd then get out of the country before
went into effect. Blu Nye, in Ingle-
ide.
"A machine for shclling peas has
cen invented. The peas are placed