Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-12-06


The woman's Side or the Question.
To the Editor Of the Dispatch:
There is an article in your issue Of
November Goth on the household, to
which | cannot refrain from making
some reply. 1t does seem to me after
all that has been said upon the subject
of helpmeets, economical wives, wo-
mans duty" etc., ETC., that some
truths ought to be already brought out
to the credit of women, so as not to
dwell with unvarying interest upon her
faults. If the subject is so barren as
not to yield any, | suggest the writers
give it up in despair, change their tao
tics, and talk to the men. | think a
little admonition would do some of
them good. A writer, if he is really
seeking for truth, ought thorough
ly to investigate his subject. The
writer's on this question, as rule, in
vestigate only one side Of it, and |
think it is time for women to stand up
in their own defence. The burden of
the song seems to be that if the wife is
economical and managing, no matter
what the income is, the family can live
and save something for a "rainy day."
Well, | admit that is so to a certain
extent, preceding the husband coope-
rates with her. But that is the very
thing that is not generally done. If one
does not get anything, can one save it?
A man will 60 so far as to help her by
telling her she must be economical and
saving; that he cannot afford so and so,
but he neglects to add eractly what he
can afford to let her have, and then give
it TO her.
Then they talk so much about hard
times" that when hard times really
come the wife has heard the cry so
much she does not believe it. lie will
tell her she must not spend any more
than she can possibly avoid, and if she
is & good wife she will not. She man
ages to get along with really less than
she needs for some things, until she is
startled some fine day by her husbands
bringing in some extravagant purchase
to which he thinks they can now
treat themselves. The good wife
says but little, for ii rOuld
do no good; but she is not a little
discouraged, for that very sum properly
disposed of, would have saved her much
labor and worriment. And if she is
rational woman she thinks-well what
would you think? The trouble Of it
all is a husband will not share his
pocket-book with his wife. He gireS
her his heart? lie trusts her with all
his home interests Surely that is
enough to satisfy any reasonable wo-
man; so he withholds his pocket-book
and pushes it deeper into his pocket
at the thought. suppose by deal
ing out ten cents to her at
time, and carefully asking her what
she does with it, he hopes to educate
her to places Of trust and response
bility in the far-distant future. How
many men do you suppose tell their
wives just how much they are making,
calculate together their necessary ex-
penses, and then allow her to use her
Judgment as to any Of the balance:
Or how many men give their wives
any certain amount Of money to
meet her expenses? AS far as | am
concerned, | would rather have less,
and know when | am to get it, and
be able to depend on it. But do not
know anything about it, and as my hus-
band does not draw salary, can only
fold my hands, take 4" the goods the
gods provide" and do the best can.
When | married | formed the resolu-
ton that | never would run my hus-
band five cents in debt. OF course, |
argued the desirability then of my hav-
ing some money to use when | needed
it and that I might purchase bargains
when the opportunity offered. But
"hard times" have always prevented
any definite arrangements being made.
Il will add here, in parenthesis, that |
have a good husband, but he does not
understand wOmen.)
heard gentleman say Well, my
wife has never had any cause to con-
plain during our married life, for when
she wants anything she can go to the
store and get it, and | will pay the
bills" Now, that is the masculine
standpoint. | know that wife better
than he does, although have not been
acquainted with her one half the nun
Der of years he has. | am sure she
would feel more independent and save
more for them both if he would trust
her with the same amount of money
to spend as judiciously as she
could. 1t would give her more
satisfaction, and the result would
favorably surprise him, feel con-
fidens. There are many naturally
good wives spoiled in this manner.
wish | could impress upon young men
that their wives will be pretty much
what they make them. Try it. 1t is
worth trying. If you conscientiously
do your part and the experiment proves
failure, | will join you in condemning
that wife. But will not condemn her
till you try her. When think of the
injustice done our sex am filled with
q holy Indignation.
Nov, you masculine readers, take one
single thought about this and reason it
out for yourselves. II you think what
| have said is exaggerated or untrue.
ask your wife to read this, and then
ask her. also. what she thinks Of it. If
she is hopeless in regard to you, she
will eysde your question If not, she
will boldly say, There is more truth
than poetry in it.n
JonS's MIEE. REYA.l