The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1885-10-22

He Finds on the COmstOck All the
Comforts Of the Goose Creek
MOumtafns.

| He Finds on the C0mstock All the
Comforts Of the Goose Creek
Mountains.
VIRGINIA CRY, Sept. 2O-A night or
two ago red-eyed individual of cowboy
port and mein meandered into Comstock
saloon and deployed in front of the bar
Without deigning look toward the array
of bottled manslaughter temptingly dis
played, the stranger proceeded to in
troduce himself in a short speech as
the Boss Gander of the Goose Creek
Mountains, a "real Kentucky gentle
man, and a graduate of the Lexington
University" He apprised those present
of the fact that he felt himself growing
all mouldy and mildewed for want Of
congenial exercise. The Comstock range
| pleased him we'll enough, except that the
people were too good and inoffensive to
| afford him that relaxation of which he
stood in need, to prevent his succumbing
to the slow decay of dry rot. He would
not say that he looked upon them as being
pack of cowardly coyotes, but would
assert that in his presence they made
themselves too sweetly seraphic and too
readily agreed to any and every PROPOSE
tion he might think fit to advance
What was the good of his an
nouncing himself as dangerous and ugly
to handle, when nobody could be found
with sand enough to dispute the assertion?
Out on the cattle ranges you found men.
There the souls Of men were not bowed
down and cowed by the conventionalities
and amenities of so-called civilization.
There a man would not see camel in the
clouds, nor hear whale blow in the hills,
even though asked to do so at the muzze
of revolver. On the cattle ranges Of
| Montana and Idaho could at all seasons
be found spirited and instructive argu-
ment, supplemented with invigorating
exercise.
"Now," said the apostle of true man.
illness from the Goose Creek range, now
when tell you that l think you are the
most white-livered set of ours that have
yet encountered in all my travels, don't
expect that any one of you will dispute the
assertion; when tell you that | don't
believe there is one among you but would
shed tears were l to spit in his face, l
don't expect one of your crowd to show
that he is aware of my presence. When
| tell you that the man who is saying these
things is here present and not to be hunt
ed for, have not the least fear that any
of you will ask him to amuse your
Having concluded his speech of def
ance-savoring much Of the oratory of a
Piegan brave-the Boss Gander super
ciliously surveyed the several occupants
of the saloon. No one said word, for no
man present felt it to be his duty to en-
gage in a rough-and-tumble fight with a
man for whose opinion he did not care a
straw. A man is not obliged to turn
scavenger and undertake the abatement
of every nuisance that comes in his way,
though he may meet with some that are
very offensive.
81 perceive that have estimated you
all at your true value" said the Boss
Gander. "Now, if it would do me the
least honor, I'd just haul you all up here
by the ears and knock your heads to-
gether."
Somebody ought to teach this windy
fool lesson" said a bystander "I do
not feel personally aggrieved, but it
would seem to be work that should be
done in justice to the community at large.
The fellow, though he struts so fiercely
in his vaquero outfit, is evidently all
wind-a bubble that would be easily
pricked yet, even in pricking bubble,
you may come in contact with a good
deal of foul air."
The man addressed said: "Drowsy Dan
went into the rear card room few
minutes ago. He is doubtless asleep by
this time, but he would consider it no
hardship to come out and deplume this
cackling Goose Creek gander. He'd wiring
his neck for dollar"
"Suppose we bring Dan in ?" said the
other, and the two men left their seats
and went toward the card room.
The Boss Gander observed the move
ment, and evidently thought that the two
men intended to make their escape by a
rear door, Following them with his eyes,
he cried: Z" have always seen coyotes
leave when the grizzly bear comes down
the mountains Crows take TO flight when
the eagle comes in sight"
The two citizens made no reply. They
found Dan sitting with his head on a card
table, sound asleep and snoring like a
grampus. They awoke him and explained
their errand. Yawning until the top of
his head seemed about ITO reach level
with his ears, Dan said 4: "A dollar
Ya-a-ow, ho-oo-hum! A dollar is
q small sum to wake feller up for, but l
recken I'll take it. He-ah-hum I've
got nothing else to do just now, so I'll go
out and feel Of the feller."
As Dan walked out into the saloon,
stretching his giant limbs and yawning,
he at once observed the red-eyed stran-
ger. u
"Yo-ha-hum! p yawned be. "That
him ?"
An affirmative nod from one Of bis
companions assured Dan that bis eyes had
been directed Alright.
Sloucbing up in front of the Boss Can
der. DAN yawned and said: Well, let's
begin"
aSir 2" said the stranger.
aHere," said, Dan, lets get to
work" :,
The Boss Gandsr began to comprehend,
and threw himself into siwarlike posture,
Dams arm shot out two or three times
Ike the pistons of donbleeylinder en-
! ginA The apostle Of manliness from the
fess6 III 1880 va NJ S%t &~1