Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-06-01

aS pdluO puUGy SONCI 0llC lStdhCS
and blunders of the carpenter, so the
grave does those of the physician.
sWhat is an epistle?" asks a Sunday
school teacher of her class. 1.-THE wife
of an apostle, - replied the young hopeful.
The motto of an Audubon county Qo.)
Sentinel is, ''Fear God, tel. the truth, and
make money" The process is a secret.
The wisdom of tree planting in Kansas
is clearly demonstrated, now that the
Kansans have to climb to get out of the
way of their floods.
eyes," said Jones, ''when my wife gets
mad she reminds one of vessel under
| weigh" "How so?" inquired Smith
"Because she's got her ranchor up"
The rapidity with which raw material
is converted into marketable goods is
shown by the fact that new maple sugar
| is on sale two weeks before sap begins
| to run.
'sHow long does this train stop for re-
freShmentS?" asked a traveller as he en-
tered railway restaurant in Georgia.
s'It depen's on how hungry the conduct
ah am,' said the waiter.
An Illinois minister refers to roller
| skating as "going to hell on wheels" F."
| Parties who have made their first attempts
to skate in a poorly ventilated rink can
appreciate this description.
1
Johnny, what are you going to be
when you are man?" asked minister
of parishioner's little son. "I am going
to be preacher he replied. ga preach
err" s'Yes, stree, you can bet your sweet
life am.'
''Allow me to congratulate you," said
Fogg, stopping in front ofBrown's house,
which was receiving new coat OF paint.
"What do you mean?' asked Brown.
'Why," replied Foge, 81 am glad to see
that you are recovering your property -
A visiting minister was questioning a
Sunday school class about the man who
fell among thieves on the way from Jeru-
salem to Jericho. Bringing the story to a
point, he asked, ''Now why did the priest
and Levite pass by on the other side?'
'I know said the lad, ssbecause he was
already robbed
The Thought reader" placed his hand
on the mans head, withdrew it and
struck him fearful blow on the nose.
When the man got out from under the
chair and asked the reader what he hit
him for, he replied, "Just as I placed my
hand on your head you thought was a
that
"A prominent member OF a church not q
thousand miles from here was talking with
his pastor the other day about an excel
lent but somewhat aggressive lady Of the
parish. After descanting at length or
her virtues he concluded by saying: "1r
fact she may be called the salt of the
earth" Eyes," responded the clergyman
quickly, and the pepper. too
''Beloved brethren remarked coun
try minister at the close of the sermon
''among the pennies and two-ceDt piece:
of last Sabbaths collection I was sur
prised to find gold coin of considerabl,
value. As there were no strangers in th'
congregation it was evidently put ther,
by mistake. BY applying to the treasur
er and proving property the owner cal
recover his money. Let us unite in pray
err
"Where did you get this French Bible?
asked Smith, taking up book from
Blacks table. Black-s'French Bible
havn't got any French Bible. The onl
Bible have is the one you have in you
hand. Had it ever since was married.
Smith (holding up the book )-ssWhat d.
you call that but French?" Black-'B
gracious. so it is. Funny I never foun
that out before,''
My wife used Dr. Graves Heart Regulator wit
great relief it is the only relief from Heart Diseas
L cheerfully recommend it.-J b. Miller, P. NJ
Mulberry Grove, Ill. sl.oO per bottle. Free pan
phlet of I. K. Ingalls,, Cambridpe Mass