Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-07-24
The Lime-Kiln Club.

81 should like to spoke few re-
marks to Brudder Side Bar Skinner"
observed the President, as the dust
began to settle in Paradise Hall.
Brother Skinner, who is a young
man of 23,with mild eye and lilac
necktie, advanced to the front and
the President continued:
"Brudder Skinner, de news has
reached my ears dat you am about
to be mar'd. l trus' dat de report am
true, bekase l believe it am de dooty
oh cherry young man who kin support
wife to take one."
at am true, sah."
"Den let me compliment you wild
one hand an spoke few remarks to
you wild dc odder. Gettin mard has
very serious side. Fur instance,
am dc gal gwine to mary you bekase
she loves you, or to spite her folks
bekase dey kept her away from de
skating rink +? Am you gwine to mar
~ de gal fur love, or bekase her
father has some wealth which YOU
hope he'll shell out fur your benefit
Glove am powerful emoshun
Brudder Skinner, but love widoul
pork an 'taters to keep it goin, AIN
like de frOth on top of soda water.
"Don't mistake your sentiments
If you am sartin dat you love, go
ahead. lit am only lollypop, hire
out as a deck hand on a steamboat
fur a week, an it will all go away.
hev known couples as seemed to
be dyin' of love. DER silly ackshuns
made 'cm de latin stock Of a hull
nayburhood. Dey seemed to dote
au' dote, but it didn't last. AFTER a
couple of vars, de husband war q
home grumbler an tyrant, an dc
wife gadabout an scold. What
dey s'posed was love war only Jolly.
| pop.
"Doan' marry gel hopin' dat hcl
father will set you up in de barber
Oizness. Most fadder-in-laws not only
want all dey hez got, but am willin'
to struggle fur another $4,000.
"Doan' set down an figger dat 70
Eaters, loaf of bread, half a pound
of meat an quart Of applesass am
gOin' to run you fur week. You
will want all de salary you kin ai'rl
an you had better look around an
find somebody who will lend you q
dollar now an then.
"Doan' flatter yerselves dat all you
hev to do is to hug in dc house an
kiss ODER de gate. You'll be hungry
TO con beef an baked beans; YOU
cIoze will war out; your flour an
butter will waste away, an bill flu
two months rent will make chill
run up your back. De man or woman
who 'specks dat mar'd life am greer
an shady lane, lined ON one side wi
orange blossoms an on de odder wit
ten dollar bills, am gwine to wax,
up some day an find de rats leavin
de place in disgust.
"rhink of these things, Brudde
Skinner. You can get wife in abou
five minutes, but it takes five year
to get shet of some of 'em. Expect
about one days Sunshine fur weel
of cloudy weather. Reckon on hous
rent comm due de fust of ebery
month, an de grocer an butche
keepin' an eye out fur you each Sat
urday night. 1t will amaze you hos
lie woodpile decides, an how de flou
gets outen de bar'l so som. DIar
walk into matrimony like a lobstf
| into box, but fgger on whether d
bait am worth the risks. If yo
, decide to mary you kin depend o
f dis club attendin' de obsequies in
body, an bringin' along bounteou
supply Of ham sand witches. If yo
: decide not to, it am probable dat yo
+ will soon be promoted to some p1
sishun Of trust and responsibility,