The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-02-13
Mikes SIGNS.


a few evenings since. To him it was
very amusing, as well as a good illus
tratlon of the aptness of different
minds to misconstrue the same facts in
quite opposite directions.
Some time ago learned Frenchman
became very enthusiastic on the sub
lect of universal language for the
human race. After much thought and
theorizing on the subject he came to
the conclusion that the only languages
that could be universal at the present
day must be a language of signs.
Being deeply impressed with the i'm
portance of this language to humanity,
he determined to travel from country
to country and teach it in all their col
1eges and universities.
AS it happened, the first country he
reached in his travels was Ireland, and
the first institution he went to was the
University of Dublin.
lie called upon the president of the
university, and after some conversa-
ton with him asked him if he had
professor of signs in his university.
Now there was no professor of signs in
the university, but the president, not
wishing to be behind the learned
Frenchman, told him that they had
one. The Frenchman asked to be in
PRODUCED to him. The president was
taken aback at this, but told him that
he could not see the professor that day,
but if he would call the next day at
the same hour he would introduce
him,
After the Frenchman had gone, the
president called his professors to-
gether and told them the fix he was in,
and told them that one of them must
play the part of professor of signs next
day. They all demurred and objected
to this, being afraid that they might
be caught by the Frenchman.
AS none of them was willing to play
the part, they at last decided to train
Mike, the chore-man, for it. Mike
had lost an eye and was very sensi-
tive about it, thinking that people
were constantly noticing it and making
illusions to it.
Mike was consulted, and consented
to play the part, providing that the
Frenchman should not refer to his de-
feet.
The next day the president and pro-
fessors dressed Mike up in a good suit
of clothes, took himto recitation-room,
seated him alone on the platform, and
then retired, for the Frenchman was
to see him alone. Before they left him
they told him what to do, and that he
must not speak.
He replied, ''Sure I'll not, if he SEE
nothin' about me oye."
At the appointed time the French
man called, and he was ushered into
the "recitation-room of the professor
of signs" The president and profess
sors waited in an adjoining room anx-
iously for the result. In a short time
the Frenchman came back to them, APP
parently much pleased.
Glow did you like our professor of
signsP" inquired the president.
VERY much indeed. L congratu-
late you on your able professor. L am
more than ever convinced that the Ian
yuage of signs is to be the universal
language. When went into the room
held up one finger, meaning there is
)ne God. He understood me at once,
md held up two fingers, meaning
Father and Son. then held up three
myers, meaning there are three per-
ions in the Trinity. He replied by
doubling up his hand, meaning, And
hese three are one. then withdrew.
t is wonderful. l am delighted.
After the Frenchman had gone, the
PRESIDENT and professors sent in haste
or Mike, for though they were pleased
It having gotten out of the dilemma,
hey were very anxious to hear Mixes
ccount of the interview. Mike came
n, very angry. 81 tould yez he would
ay something about me oye. The first
hing he did was till hould up wan fin
er, m amin had but wan oye."
"What did you do then, MikeP" asked
ne president.
"Sure held up me two fingers, till
It him know L had two fists; an plat /,
oes the durty b]ackguard do but
ould up three fingers, m amin we had
ut three Dyes betwane us. Thin
Dubbed up me fist, and would "a guy ,
lie frog ATTN varmint welt over his {
We, but he COMMUNIST a-smilin' an ,
bowin' an a-scrapin', an whit out iv :
10 room. '-Editor's Drda0er, in Har- !
RS Magazine for February. :