The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-24
JrM's INVESTMENTS
Marx Twain. in Century. :

linn knowed all kinds of signs. He said he knowed most everything. Isaid it looked to me like all the signs was about bad luck, and so l asked him if there warn't any good-luck signs He says:
 body. What you want to know when good luck's a-comin' for?-want to keep 1t off And he said: eff you's got hairy arms CD hairy breas', its sign dat you's agwyne to be rich. Well, dey's some use in a sign like dat, kase it's so fur ahead. You see, may be you's got to be po' long time fist, en so you might git discourage en kill yo'sef f you didn t know by the sign dat you gwyne to be rich bymeby ?"
 Have you got hairy arms and hairy breast, Jim ?"
 "Wha.'s de use to ax dat question Don't you see 1 has T'
 "Well, are you rich p
 No; but ben rich wunst, and gwyne to be rich agin. 'Wunst l had fo'teen dollars, but tuck to speculat'n', en got busted out"
 "What did you speculate in, Jim P
 Well, fust tackled stock"
 "What kind of stock p
 "Why, live stock. Cattle, you know put ten dollars in a COW. But aim gwyne to risk no mo- money in stock. De COW up n died on my hans"
 So you lost the ten dollarsp
 "No; didn't lose it all. I en'y los bout nine of it. sole de hide en taller for dollar en ten cents"
 "You had five dollars and ten cents left. Did you speculate any more ?"
 "Yes. You know dat one-laigged nigger dat b1ongs to ole Misto Bradish ? We'll, he sot up bank, en say anybody dat put in dollar would git fo' dollars mo- at de en' CT de year. Well, all de niggers went in, but dey didn' have much. l wuz de on'y one dat had much. So stuck out for mo- dan fo' dollars, en l said ef l didn't git it I'd start bank mysef. Well, O course dat nigger want to keep me out CT de business, bekase he say dey warn't business 'nough for two banks, so he say could put in my five dollars en he pay me thirty-6ve ct de en- CT de year.
 "So 1 done it. Den reck'n'd I'd in- vest de thirty-6ve dollars right of en keep things a-movin'. Dey wuz nigger name Bob, dat he'd ketched wood-Aat eA his marster didn't know it; en bought it off n him, en told him to take de thirty-five dollars when de en' CT de year come; but somebody stole de wood-fiat dat night, en nex' day de one-laigged nigger say de banks busted: So dey didn't none uv us git no money"
 "What did you do with the ten cents, JimS'
 We'll, 'uz gwyne to spen' it. but had dream, en' de dream tole me to give it to a nigger name Balum-Ba- lum's Ass dey call him, for short he's one CT dem chuckle-heads, you know. But he's lucky, dey say, en see warn't lucky. De dream say let Balum inves' de ten cents en he'd make a raise for me. We'll, Balum he tuck de money, en when he wuz in church he hear de preacher say dat whoever give to de pol lem to de Lord, en boun' to git his money back a hund'd times. So Balum he tuck en give de ten cents to de pol, en laid low to see what wuz gwiHe to come of it."
 We'll, what did come of it, Jimp"
 Muffin never come of it. 1 couldn't manage to k'leck dat money no way en Balum he couidn'. aim gwyne to lem no mo- money 'dout see de security Beun' to git yo' money back hund'd times, de preacher says! Elf could get de ten cents back I'd call it squah, en be glad CT de chanst."
 "Well, it's all right anyway, Jim, long as you're going to be rich again some time or other."
 "Yes-en l's rich now, come to look at it. l owHs myself, en l's wuth eight hund'd dollars. But live stocks too resky, Huck. l wisht had de eight hund'd dollars, en somebody else had de nigger."