The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-01-24
AN sNoUIsITNE POSTMASTER

sPostofHce-His Exp6rtence es = spring
Poet Bouncer Comes In Good Play.
"A reporter was in a very small town
in Illinois one day this week. We were
expecting a check from the editor, and
consequently our footsteps directed
towards the postoffice. Arriving at the
office. which is in little one-story
frame building, we inquired, us there
any mail for meP' forgetting to give
cur name The postmaster eyed MS for
q second, then turned and glanced over
a big package of letters; he found none,
and then scrutinized another bundle.
Again failing to find the expected letter,
he turned towards the reporter and SUR
viewed him from head to foot CO
s.Say, what's yer name?" he then in-
guired. - ? "a = s.sstsssss =
We told him and again he turned and
carefully inspected the very same letters
that he had only a moment before ex-
amined. Then he turned and queried:
{; where's the letter to come from?"
: Evansville" we answered.
I soho, sol Guess I'll find it,fsthenP
! The same performance was again in
dulged in, but without effect. He lazily
llaid.the letters aside and asked us If we
were any relation to- the so and SOS,
that used to live in Rattan County,
Kansas. We answered him in the neg.
.ative. ~
"visiting here, I s'poseP'' - -
! Eyes; is there any mail for rne?"
I "What. did yer say yer name WASP"
/ We told him again, and he remarked
that # the letter was there it came in
ON the, morning train. 80 '% '
30, yes, that's so. TN look over this
Ibundle,n and he extracted another from
|, a pigeon hole. Eyansville-Ev Evansville =
let's see, that village is in Ohio, amt
it?" 7c'e J. slss 80
/ mo, sir. It's in Indiana"
H ''Small place, l.. guess. ncars #.
Waynep"i y g. = 20 80 ~
tsssNo, sir. Southern part" sl4as
/ ''Near Posey County? How's politics
Hang politics! Is'there letter for
me?' 1880. -
30, ietterp m see,'' and he finished
rummaging over the package, and
found one that he eyed for half min
ute nearly. just then voice in the
rear of the Office yelled: aisF.4
Chicken fight, Bet a dollar on
Jones' .cock!" 49,
With the letter in hand the postmas-
ter made his exit through the back
door. We sat down and waited ten
minutes, then called in a passing boy
and gave him dime to 60 round the
back way and call the government
official.
.Want to see me?" he innocently In
quired, coming to the window.
'sFor heavens sake, man, are you
crazy? l have been here an hour"
want mail? What's yer name?
"Come outside, you DANCED stinker,
and I'll show YOU"
30, you're the fellow that was stand
ing here awhile agoP'' fe7s
s.Are you going to give memy mailP'
y, s..Here is a letter." - :, 5h b.s2
But before he gave it to us young
lady came in and the postmaster turned
his attention to her. They chatted
away = for five or ten minutes, but our
patience was gone.
''Will you excuse me, mann? This in
fernal galoot has been two hours hand
ing ME that letter that he is holding in
his hand!n go ri. Ii.
Letter. O. yes! Here it isl. 10
= We grasped it eagerly and--heavens,
it was Tor Smith. y " =
3 LSay, this letterisn'tfer mer'
!, The gin Uttered. g = -
s.Isn't your name Smith,"
This was too much. We remembered
the many days we had acted as spring
poet bouncer at the Argus Office and
jumped over the partition. The maiden
fled, and then the. matinee-for gentle
men .only--commenced. First one, Of
that old party's heels would knock over
q pile of >sdead NATTER" then as he
swung around again another would
knock overa lot of Congressional re.
| ports that he was saving to sell for old
paper, and about four hundred packages
Of garden seeds sent by Congressman
Snags to his constituents in that county.
Then his right arm would hit his date
stamp and knock it SO , that, it would
strike his mucilage bottle and carom
onto the ink. bottle and break both.
Then another arm would go through
the air and knock off alot of circulars
from the Henry College Lottery. and
finally with a wild;yell we. picked him
up and fired him through a back
window, right through a big poster Of
the Snags County District Fair that was
acting in the place of glass.
As-w got on the train the next morn
ing at st. Louis, we, heard the newsboys
+ yelling: .'All about the bloody affair al
Snagsyille. Eight masked robbers At
tack the postmaster who shoots two
and drives the others of. Object sup.
posed to be robbery
We only smiled We could afford to
smile; we had succeeded in borrowing
fifty cents OF friend in st. Louis to buy
dinner with, and our pass was safe in
our pocket.-EUansvitle Argms.
The Clock in Trinity's Tower.