St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-04-15
ART OF LOVE MAKING.
A Southern Belle Gives Some Points On
How To Win a Woman.
JudieiOus Flattery and Courage to Squeeze
the Hand in Lovable Way.


In the classic language of Mr.. George w.
Simpson, from the interior of Kentucky, the
man had 'tbeen thar who ''writn these
lines:
s''Tis sweet to love; but, oh. how bitter,
To have gal and then not git her,"
AS the poet touchingly insinuates, says the
Louisville Commercial, the sensation OF be-
ing thoroughly in love is the sweetest emo
ton that moves the human breast. Love
rules the nation. Love is the joy OF all Gre
alton. But love unrequited has the sting OF
a million deaths. Love leads to happiness,
to misery, to crime and to suicide. Nearly
every weak minded man who loves and don't
git her'' becomes self assassin. Men OF
stronger mind suffer for while, and then
as rule look for another girl, and make the
best of experience.
METHOD IN LovE-MAKING.
But the glamour is gone and sentiment is
no longer the handspring Method takes its
place, for he who loves the second time loves
with a system. 1t is the first love that
moves to ecstatic bliss or reduces life to a
stainless blank, as the girl always puts it
when she writes by her window at midnight
with the moonbeams streaming in to remind
her of blissful love stroll in the June time
long ago. But according to the professed
belief of noted belle of this city who is n ow
a round and rosy matron with children at
her knee, the poets dreadful contingent
need never bring misery to lovers heart.
In other wor DIS, the man who loves in the
RIGHT waV pan ALWAYS tSOet herr
"a score of men made love to me-" said
the excellent lady above referred to, ''and
any one of them might have had me if he
had studied the art of love making with the
same care he would give any time to game
of chess.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IMPOSSIBLE.
81 hold that love-lnaking is an art. There
no such thing as love at first sight. We
may admire each other in the beginning,
but immediate affection is out of the ques-
ton. First i'm pressions, no matter how ia
vorable, must be sirens thened by artful cult
walton. Then love comes, and If
the man who sues makes no
mistake, he is sure to win, no matter what
his condition may be. Of course he must
talk well, dress respectfully, and above all
wear clean linen and keep his face free from
dirt. If he does all this and sues judiciously
no arrow of misfortune can keep the victor's
wreath from off his crown. I might add that
one of the requisites in personal appearance
is clean teeth. A man may have nose like
pumpkin, or a mouth like a mammoth
cave, or eyes like jay bird, hand like
ham, or foot as big as a canoe,
and he can win, but if his teeth
are not what gentleman's
teeth ought to be he will rue the day he gave
his heart to well-bred woman. He may be
tall or short, stout or lean, with voice like
fog-horn and a carriage as ungraceful as the
amble of camel, and he may yet win any
woman in the world if he studies her with
care and keeps his teeth clean.
LITTLE JUDICIoUs FLATTERY.
''More women are won by judicious fiat
terry than by any other means, for every
woman is more or less vain, and she is
naturally fond of the man who finds
her weakness and handles it with
skill. Let woman once imagine that she
has pretty eyes, and if man will tell her so
constantly and artfully, she is certain to have
a weakness for him, which may be easily
famed into flame of love, and ardent love
at that. This is merely an example.
GAN women profess to hate men VINO are
jealous, but in this they belle themselves ex-
travaganty No woman ever loved man
violently whom she was unable to infect with
a sting of the green-eyed monster. 1t is true
that some women are fond of complacent,
easy-going and impassionate men, but as
rule such fellows can never inspire the gen.
uine emotion. 1t is your hot-headed, pas
sonate and impulsive man who can drive a
woman to destruction. All women are more
or less sentimental and so are all good men
for that matter. Sentiment has nothing to
do with complacency Therefore you can
understand the drift of my argument.
NEVER LEAVE LIPS THAT YEARN.
s'A man must be more or less hot-headed
he must be more or less jealous and more or
less passionate to inspire woman with the
love that burns. The man who
wouldn't kiss woman when
she tells him with her eyes that her lips are
yearning is an idiot l don't mean by this
that kissing is at all necessary, or even
proper, but it is certainly part and parcel
of the art of love-making. / believe in the
rough Old verse that dear little Lolita used to
sing about kissing:
Nobody is above it;
The old maids love it,
And widows have finger in the pie.
Some people are so naughty
That they say it's very naughty,
But you bet your life they do it on the sly"
HOW YOUNG L. LOST A CLEVELAND GIRL.
81 heard pretty girl from Cleveland say
once that she had been devotedly sought by
young Mr.. l.. for four years. She was fond
of him and admired him for many excellent |
qualities, but she finally let him go, because,
as she put it, he never had the courage to
once squeeze her hand. To my knowledge |
there was never purer or better girl than |
that one, but she was too full of mercury to |
ever wed a man who lacked the spirit to at |
least squeeze her hand in a loyable way. |
Real women, protest, care nothing for milk |
and water men, nor do they always worship |
heroes, but as have said, If any intelligent |
man, with clean linen and clean teeth, will |
make judicious com bination of fattery and |
ardent devotion he can win any woman in |
the world who doesn't hate him for cause |
in the beginning of the affair"
Let me say just one more word about love-
making. This is for girls. A noted French |
author in one of his books declares that jeal- |
Gus men are always tickle. 1t is just the |
other way. Jealous men are never tickle. |
Jealousy is the surest evidence of true |
love. When a woman can arouse the |
demon in mans bosom, she may always |
feel sure of him. He loves her and viii 90 |
on his knees when she bids him.
MARK TwAIN'S BoYHooD.