The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-10-03
TIE eoARplNe.HousE DOG.

of been passed. Or, | should say, it
will of had passed. Alas, the cares of
this here busy world have so corroded
my impulsive pen that fear sometimes
Harvard College would of been ashamed
of her forgetful child if he had of re-
turned to the halls of his alamo mater
and of laid such ungrammatical offer
ings upon her affairs. However, [ did
not sit down to boast of my learning l
have got it; let the world Judge what l
done with it, although it has not yet
saw what l can do with the rest of it.
Away, brief scandal.
| have set my heart upon crime to
which, ere the golden rod heralds the
coming of the hosts of autumn, L shall
set my read write hand. | am a sum-
mer boarder, and my deeds shall, of
right, be summary as those of the Dor
derers of an older thyme, where deeds
of fright are even yet contagious to the
summer boarder.
Do you know Mister Brown Dog?
He is one of our boarders. The dog,
not Mister Brown. OF course, Mister
Brown boards with us, too, but he does
not count. save as an adjunct to Mister
Browns Dog. In your own unhappy
!. lie it has sometimes been your sad lot
to he stranded upon the desolate shores
of the summer boarding house, where
one of the guests was man and his
Dog? Then you know how much
greater is the Dog than the man or
woman who belongs to Him. And YOU
know also, the smaller the dog, the
Greater the Nuisance.
Well me, if could but keep down
these fierce reyengeful thoughts that
burn and blister in my stormy heart
Mister Brown and his Dog were like all
other clearinghouse dogs and their
men. They were Siamese twins. We
never heard of one nor did we ever
mention one without the other. The
Dog had no name. He was always
called Mr.. Browns Dog. And Mister
Brown was merely known on account
of his relation to the Dog All the
boarders became acquainted with each
other through the medium of
Mr.. Browns Dog. We opened
breakfast with fruit and Mister
Browns Dog. Did YOU hear
Mister Browns dog last night Miss
Sillibub?" Not very much; our rooms
are on the other side of the house YOU
know" And as the cats and visiting
dogs chased Mister Browns Dog
around and around the house all night
long. | inferred that the Sillibubs must
have taken rooms on the weather vane,
and there was a chronic whirlWind up
on the roof When | speak of the cats
chasing Mr.. Browns Dog. | make a
calm, simple, unyarniShed statement of
fact Mister Browns Dog was about
the size and general physique of year
ling calf, but he was paSsionately timid.
The unmuzzled dogs of the street made
life a burden to him. and often, when
he was running away from kitten or
hen, or some prowling raider of that
kind, we could hear him wishing that
he could trade off his useless tail for q
par of wings. And 50 at night. when
4 sfIc Brcln was not on hand to pEo=
TecU Mister Browns Dog, think inc
very crickets used to chase him under
the house where he would moan and
mutter and SILVER.
Somehow, we never could start any
conversation at the boarding house,
that did not eventually drift into Mister
Browns Dog. At our meals the Dog
intruded himself, wailing outside the
window until his own provender was
brought out to him. And when the
boarders arose PhoeniX-lile (from their
hashes), and sought the piazza, Mister
Browns Dog was brought around and
we all talked to Him and about Him,
to the entire exclusion of Mister brown
and ourselves. But chat seemed per
fectly right.
SOmet,mes-bu why recount all
things that happened? You know what
the boardng-house doc is. He not only
has his day, but he has our days. And
he even divides the nights, which be-
long of right to the cats. | think |
could learn to love a cat. Along toward
the end of the siege when | had had
nothing to eat for six weeks.
Toward the close of the summer,
Mister Browns Dog became troubled in
his mind. He had sucked an egg, or
fought kitten, or barked at a cow,
or something. Some deed of reckless
daring or measureless wickedness Law
heavily upon his mind, for he began to
hONl, lON anu illOuI injury hui my OIlC
day. Or, maybe he was only pining for
the gavety of the great city. Anyhow,
he howled during the day. No boarder
so daring that he can complain about
it. We affect to enjoy it, and we ex-
press our hypocritical sorrow for Poor
Mr.. Browns Dog" The poor" re-
ferring of course wholly to the Dog But
lean stand it no longer and he must die.
You see, now, with such crime
burning in my guilty soul, why life is
dark and joyless to me. To kill a
common dog is nothing, but a boarding
house Dog, whose board is paid for,
who is the greatest central thought OF
all the boarders, whose life is interviewer
with the Ives of the human beings who
circle around him in their various orbits,
to take the life of such Dog is to
strike at the heart of perfect though
complex human system. Therefore,
when kill Mister Browns Dog, Mister
Brown lies stark and bleeding at my
feet.
have sat up all night under the pity
ing stars. Sleep has not kissed my
ewes, but the problem is solved and nv