The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-04-22
WIFE AND HuMoR.

ssNone.' said the fearless Isaiy. ssbut one
a carbunele--fhe setting a fortune cost
But It's well secured and cannot be lost
,"ouickt hand ne the jewel or else you shah
Said the robber. With iaeFcely hashinseye.
u can Il said the lady, with smiling repose,
Sweet are the uses of adversely, but
most people prefer sugar.
The new society wrinkle that is
pronounced success: Pronunciation
matches
Culture: Parlor-naid Ito Buttons)--
''You vulgar boyl You should never
say AK You should say 'harsb -
London Punch.
A western journal says it is not able
to see why q saloon should have more
influence than a shoemsker's shop.
Why don't you take to loahEg ground
in the other cobbler's shop and find
outp
In portions of Mexico men, women
and children smoke cigarettes. That
In one of the few countries where Q
man can enjoy smoke without having
his wife lecture him for spending 50
much for tobacco.
George w. Gable, the novelist, Is
called Meissonier of words by CHI
cage paper. The Chicago paper doesn't
know what that means, but Is confident
that it is a tone above any idea ever
grasped by ST. Louis journalist. -New
Orleans PicGystn
A widow committed suicide In Bos-
ton the other day, and the last simple
and touching words which she penned
were, II have taken p. g. s'Poor
Janet, remarked her sorrowing hus-
band when he heard the sad news.
'green always was her color, and she
just dotted on Paris. I"
It doesn't make any difference when
q woman visiting lady friend Jumps
up off her chair and says, .'Oh, dear
me, must 60; left the children all
alone, and throws on her bonnet and
shawl; that doesn't prevent her from
stopping out in the cold at the front
door and talking half an hour with the
lady of the house.
Eleven thousand dollars worth Of
ink was used by the postofice depart
ment last year in stamping and cancel
ling letters. An economically disposed
person thinks that if the government
would permit cancelled stamps to be
reused, much of this expense might be
saved; but the government never did
go very strong on economy.-NorrEs-
tosCs Herdld.
The pith of the Edmunds Mormon
law Is that, If man has more than
e. 4. II. 90 Aa all 70
vote. II il doubtful il such disfran-
chisement can stand. Double marriage,
by the way, carries its own punishment
with 1t. a better way would be to let
all the wives vote for handsome gen.
tiles. That would soon knock the bot
tom ont of Mormonism.
Irving, in his farewell address at the
Star Theater. New York, said Ellen
Terry ''by her treside will often tell
of the kindness she received from the
American people," whereupon the
practical Springfield 6eptbltcGR is re-
minded of Macanlay's Lay of Hora-
thus" and fancies how oft
With weeping and laughter,
Still 10 the story told
How well Miss Terry stirred the Yenks
And got their gracious gold.
Several gentlemen from different
states were discussing the merits Of
their particular homes. Kansas 10 .
great state. We raise sixty bushels Of
corn and two hundred bushels of pota-
toes to the acre. said man from Kan
sas. But have you Kansas people
any market for your producer asked
. man from Connecticut Certainly
they have" responded an envious
Texan. They raise enough grasshop-
pera and potato-bugs to eat up ten
times the corn and potatoes they can
raise"
Fame Is an uncertain possession. A
gentleman well known in the literary
world was presented to o lady the other
evening ut a fashionable gathering.
"Your name seems very familiar"
remarked the young lady. Perhaps.
The bronze statue of General B. E.
Lee, recently cast In New York, is the
largest bronze statue ever made in this
country. It cost $25, 600, is fifteen and
q half feet high, and will be dedicated
at New Orleans nWashington's Birth
day. Il represents the General in
regulation uniform of the Southern
army during the late war, wearing
SLOUGH hat and top boots, and is pro-
nounced an excellent likeness.
, The Chinese have peculiar way Of
determining the future occupation Of q
male infant. On the first birthday he
is seated in large sieve, with money |
scales, foot-measure, pair Of shears, |
a brass mirror, pencil, ink and books,
an abacus. and similar articles ranged |
In, a circle around him. The article |
which he handles frstis sure prophe-
~ of the direction in which his future |
activities will lie.
Ruskin says: Never buy copy Of
, picture. All copies are bad, because
40 painter who is worth q straw ever
viii copy. He will make study of
picture he likes for his own use in his
own way, but he won't and can't copy;
md whenever you buy a copy you buy
10 much misunderstanding of the origi-
laL and encourage dull person in
q business he is not fit for,
besides increasing ultimately chances
II mistake and imposture. You
nay, in fact, consider yourself az hay
ng purchased certain quantity of
and. according to your power,
'eing engaged in disseminating them"
Promenaders in Washington often
top 10 look at pair of housekeeping
lack blooded horses attached to high
Dad wagon, driven by q handsome
nilitary-appearing man Of some so
ears, who is invariably accompanied
y handsome, matronly lady and two
+ three bright-eyed little girls. The
river is jerome Napoleon Bonaparte,
randson of he Bonaparte's eldest
rother jerome, and who possesses nm
oubtedly the right to whatever claim
be Bonapartes may have to the imperial
hrnrnn. If E1.ar,lsr. -1,Ira la,l,r Il Mndn,,na