Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-05-31
the llME-kILN CLUB.
D.toa Free Press.

vanced to the front and the rresiuen' y
timed; I
"Brudder Skinner, de news has reached
nv ears dat you an about to be mar q: l
trus' dat de report en- true, bekase l 0ehs!e
it am de dooty of ebery young man who KIN
support q wife to take one.
'It am true, sab"
"Den let me compliment you Wld one
hand an spoke a few remarks to you wig
de odder. Gittin' mar'd has Its VERY sell'
ous side. Fur instance, am de gal gSlne 10
mary you bekase she loves you, or TO spite
her foIkes bekase dey kept her away from
de skstin' rink? Am you gwine to mary
de gal fur love, or bekase her father mas
some wealth which you hope he'll shell out
tur your benefit? ,-,..
lave am a powerful emoshun, Brudder
Skinner, but love widout pork and ta!ers 10
keep it goin' EN- ike de froth on top Oh soaa'
water. IT,,
Don't mistake your sentiments. II you
am sartin dat you love, go ahead II II
am only lollypop, hire out as q deck nsaa
On q steamboat fur a week an 1t will ali 60
| hev known couples ez seemed 10
he din of love. DER sillpackshuns made
EN- de lafin-stock of q hull nayburhood.
Dew seemed to dote and dote, but 1t dldh
Ias;, AFTER a couple Of vars de husband
war a home grumbler an tyrant, an dc
wife a gadabout an a sco!d. "na' usy
s'posed was love war only !oiiypop:
i"Doan' marry q gal hopin' dat her isinet
will set tou up in de barber biznesS; MOS
fsdderin-laws not only want all dey hez got
but am willin' to struggle fur another w.
"Doan' sot down an fgger dat 70 taters.
a loaf of bread, q half a pound or meat IN
a quart of applesass sm goin' to run you
fur q week. You will want oil de salary
you kin arm, an you had better look arou1
an f.d somebody who will lend you a dol
lar now an then. u.
"Doan' latter yerselves dat all 20 hev got
to do am to hug in de house an kiss ober de
gate. You'll be hungry fur con beef an
baked beans; your cloze will war out; your
Aonr An butLer will waste away, an q Dill
fnr two months rent will send a chill up yer
hack, De man or woman who specks dat
marc life am a green an shady lane, l'ned
wild orange blossoms on one side an ten dol
lar bills on the odder, am gwine to wake up
some day an find de rats leavin de place IN
disgust.
Think of desc things, Brudder Skinner.
You kin git a wife in about i've minutes,
out it takes FIVE vars to git shet OF some OF
EN-. Expeck about one days sunshine fur
a week of cloudy weather. Reckon on house
rent comm due de fUs % cherry month, an
De grocer an butcher keepin' an eye out inr
5ou each Saturday night. 1t will amaze you
now De woodpile decides an how de -four
gits outeu de bar so soon. D0an walk lato
ratrimouy like a lobster into a boy, but
iprtr CT aielher de bait am with De risks
# YOU conclude 10 mar y you kin depend OF
lis Gu attend.n' the obsequies in a body
5lipgia' along o bounteous sapply OF ham
sapdgiches. II YOU decida not to, it am
probable dat yo1 will scoa he promoted
to some postum Of trust and respousl
5iiity
statistical.
In reply to an inquiry p%ropounded by the
Hon. Pokeroot Dayton, the Secretary an
nounced that the Lime-kilu Club now hac
l63 branch lodges, covering all the States
except Maine and Rhode Island, and IN
oluding Ontario, Canada, Halifax and New
Brunswick.
The membership of the Lime-kiln Clut
proper was about 1000, counting honorary
members, while that Of the branch lodge!
was over 10000.
The club and its branches represented
| spot cash TO the amount Of 81, 100000 Tit
members included poets, preachers, lectqr
ers, orators, statesmen, editors and all thu
trades OF daily life.
One More Gone.
The President announced that he was il
receipt Of a postal card from Savannah an
| nouncing the supposed death Of Arothe
| Hereditary Knox, an honory member o
three years standing. Brother Knox wa
engaged in hooking" cotton bales aboard
a steamer and fell from a gang-plank int.
| the river. As he did not return to his worl
after q reasonable time had elapsed the sup
position was that he remained at the bottom
| and that the club would get no more due
out of him.
The three cotton.hooks on the north wal
Of Paradise Hall were ordered to be drapet
in mourning for the space of fifteen days
and if it can be ascertained that the de
| ceased brother left a widow the usual res0ll
lions Of sympathy will probably be passed
Voted Down,
The Rev. Penstock then blew his nos
With q report which sounded like a dynamit
explosion, and offered the following resolu
| ion:
Resolved, Dat de thanks of dis club, 8
lie representative of de Guild race, an du,
/ . an am hereby rendered to George W
| able fur his late magazine article OF be
"slf Of &c black race in America"
| Sir Isaac Walpole said he must oppos,
| the iceolltion. lie had read it, and it con
| aimed nine errors of fact and judgment t,
me inir hit at the truth. When George W
| cable or any other writer asserted that Their
Eas s determination in the Sotuh to keel
be back man down, the writer WAS assert
ipg what his own observation belied.
Elder Cochineal Davis had lived in Ala
bsma for the last fifteen years, reaching
Detroit only eight months ago. He was giver
| all the show down there he could ask for
and he felt that if anyone understood thu
| black man Just as he was it was the South
erner.
Pickles Smith and Giyeadam Jones boil
spoke in the same strain, and when a vot
was taken fhe resolution wal badly bounced
out. The Rev. Pensteck made no attemp
TO conceal his disgust, and was fined S2t
and S3.l5 costs for attempting to leave thu
lodge without having secured permission.
Stuck.
Some time since Wsydown Bebee, the re
cognized poet of the club, was ordered tc
compose an ode to the Bartholdi statute OIL
behalf of the colored people of America
As no report had been received from him uI
the present meeting, the President inquired
what progress was being made.
Il has to report, sab, dat | is stuck, was
the reply.
HAS de ink gin outT'
mo. sab, but my ideahs hez."
He thereupon submitted the following to
explain more clearly the fix he was in:
OBJ TO (BARTHOLDTsl LIREKTr.
Oh, Liberty.