The Nevada picayune., 1885-01-22
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the reply, "my wife is able 10 take care of the family, and l have sc cured accommodation in the coun- Fy jail Huntington Free Press.
 Chicago News: "Hubby, did you mail my letter." "Tes, my dear. Had 10 run like forty to catch the mail train" "Why here it is in yonr pocket now" Hey? Una yes, so it is--no this isn't your let ter; this is the one you were going to write and forgot" "John IIenry." "No Mary l didn't mai. yonr letter." "Welf, I'm awtnlly glad. I want to add a postscript.
 ''T'hat young nan you recom- mended to me as clerk hasn't got a particle of business talent," said a Galveston merchant to q friend. ''N.o, of course he hasn't. If he had had any capacity, he would Mst iaave needed my recommenda- ton. I thought you had sense enough to understand that. as Siitings.
 'i'a, you. will have to give my teacher talking to- said Johnny Fizzletop on his return from school. "What has he been doing'' 'Just look at my cirtiiicate-! sit is worse than last weeks. He:will keep right on giving me bad cirtificates unless you say something to him about it. He needs taking down a peg CT two. ."-Siltings
 Travellers Magazine: X we'll dressed man was seen to stare at a woman impudently, hail a street car imperiously, pay his fare con descendingly. scat himself fashiona ply, expectorate furionsly. "Who is that distinguished gentleman whispered an awe-siruck stranger to the conductor. And the con ductor replied He is the janitor of a West side flat
 Merchant Traveller A certain punster in Cincinnati, interested in the street ear lines of the city, recently seceived an addition to his family, and a friend met mm two or three days afterward. "Hel- lo" was the greeting" ."stranger at your house, hear.' "Yes," was the reply. Boy or girls' "Girl; I'm right sorry, too, for l wanted a boy so I could call him Oscar. " "Don't let that disturb yon,' re marked the other wretch; 'Just call her Car'line.
 All the animals were sitting around quietly after the.afternoon performance, and the giraffe was thoughtfully Conserving her colt snufling about the lamps at the top of the center pole. "Young man." she said at last as he thrust about eleven and half lineal feet of neck through an opening in the canvas to look out upon the world, "telescope yourself in out of the damp air. A colt with swallow ing thing like a telegraph pole, has no business tampering with the croup.-Buriington Hawkeye.
 Texas Siftings; Col. Elliott, who is the Texas Commissioner at the New Orleans Exposition, has got himself into a very serious trouble. A Dallas youth, who imagincs that he is an artist, brought him a beautiful land scape he had painted and told him he wanted it eXhibi- ted at New Orleans. "Certainly," replied MT. Elliott. "But l want a card on it stating that it is not for sale." "l don't think that there is the slightest necessity for that" remarked Commissioner Elliott, taking another glance at the work of art
 Arkansas Traveller: Look here" called man pressing his face against the grates of the city uris- on and addressing policeman wh 0 stood outside. "Well!" What was I put in here. for, anyway'" "You'll find out when the police court meets" "Podner, J am very sensitive man, and the thought that l have committed a CT inc harnts me. l just tell you what's a fact; can't stand it. What did I do!" "Well, if you must know, you got drunk and shot man." "Oh, is that all: was afraid that l had insulted some