Daily Republican., 1885-02-12
THE MILwAUKEE ban BOY.

0o------
THE MILWAUKEE BAD BOY.
Hello I" said the groceryman to the
bad boy, - be came IN looking cross.
Don't hello to me-" said the boy as
he toos up the store cat and went 70 the
sausage machine on the counter and be
gan to turn the handle. 81 am no tele-
phone"
Well, you are transmitter, all the
same" said the groceryman, laughing at
his attempt at q Joke, but drop that
cat. What you want to hurt cat for,
putting her In sausage grinder 2"
80, | amt going to hurt your cat,
but wish every cat was dead. Our cat
got me into an awful scrape last night,
and was no more to blame than the
man In the MOON" said the boy, as he
sat down on boz. " Everything that goes
wrong is laid TO me, cause used to be
3 little tuff 10 my youth. That shows
that boy ought never t, be tuff cause It
sticks TO him as long as he lives"
:" Give us the cut story, " said the gro
ceryman, Is he sat down by the by and
tried to raise his dropping spirits with o
glass Of rotten apple cider
" o, wish | had never been born, or
that had been born twice, or triplets, so
there would have been more OF me to
stand the racket. Last night l went to
bed at nine o'clock, and left pa and ma
up playing you cur. / don't know: how
long had been asleep when heard 9
rattling down in pa and mas room, and
pa yelled murder, and ina yelled tpolice,
and window was smashed, and heard
. cat squalling, and I opened my window
and yelled fire, and then l grabbed my
pants and went down stairs to see what
the row was, and help put out the fire.
! rushed into the room, and there was
the offules. smel of burnt hair / ever
smelled. Ma was up on chair In her
night clothes yelling, and pa was stand
ing looking out of the broken window
the top was of the coal stove, the stove
door was open, and the coal bod and the
coal scattered all around the carpet, and
pa was all mussed up, with blood on the
front of nis night shirt, and q scratch on
his leg. When came in pa grabbed me
by the neck, and said he would learn me
to ill the coal hod with black cats, and
/ though pa was crazy. Ma grabbed pa
asd told him was not to blame, a!d
about that time policeman pounded Al
the door and wanted to know what wal
the riot was about, and pa told him
everything wse all right, and the police
man told the driver of the chemical fire
extipguisher he could go home, and then
pa told me what was the row.
" II seems our old black cat didn'i
have no more sense than to go to sleep
In the coal hod, Oh top of the coal, aud
just bs fore pa got ready to get into bed
he went to I'LL up the atove, and poured
the cat right into the fire. Well, spose
you would have died to see pa. As quick
as the cat struck the fire she woke up, OF
maybe she woke up going down thu
reservoir, but anyway there was q
; m-e-o-u-w In the stove, and then the cal
| came right through one OF the mica door
and struck pa with her toe nails, and be
gan to walk OH him, aud howl. Pa wal
SO scared he dropped tho coal bod and
| grabbed the cat by one leg and threw hel
through the window, and then began Il
dance around. guess at first he didn'
know whether It was for-sure cat, OF
only imagination, cause pa has cot X
taking little Tom and Jerry during tn,
the holidays, and his nerves are littl,
unetrung. i expressed my sorrow tina
the cat should have been scorehed, ant
that made pa mad, cause he said we al
thought more o. the Injuries the cat re
ceived than we did for his being scratched
from Genesis to Revelations, and he ssit
what ought to have done was to q,
around the last thing before went +,
bed and see that there was no cat IN tn,
coal scuttle. He said / owed that, a
least, to my family. Pa lie the unreason
ablest man ever saw. Who would eve
think Of losking for cat in a coal scut
tie After pa had given me fits about 1t
he hogan to jaw ma, and told her sh,
ought to know better than tn yell 3d."
Say" said the Pr ceryman, stoppIn,
the boy, want YOU to tell me tn,
truth. Did YOU have anything 10 do
with putting that cat In the coal scut
tief For IT You did, that settles It will
me-"
No, sir, hone tn die II did," said
the boy. " Did ever do anything t,
cause you to think I was a cold blo0ied
heartless viIlaipa Have ever harmed
dumb animal9 have saved lots of dumt
animals from harm, but have never In
tur"d one In the least. No, It was JUS
an accident such a. might occur IN any
family, but bet you pa never empties
coal scuttle again without analvziug |
tor traces of eat" ard the bad bo
went out feeling hurt that not only hi
pa but his old friend, the groceryman
should take him to he boy who woult
scorch q cat.