The Press., 1885-12-24
LOCAL TOPICs-PENN'D AND SClssORED.

ough, has noted: 5E#f HAMA
 That, though plumbers are so much be- rated, Stafford Springs has one who is q Christian Mann.
 That it is very little advantage to have two entrances to the post office since the crowds that stands in either doorway each seems to think that the other door will answer every purpose as Q means of en- trance or exit.
 That 1t is growing more and more diff cult to get good men to serve as town, borough and school district officials, since it is certain that officials will ''be damned if they do, and damned if they don't," and the damning never once qualified with ''faint praise" at that. That when men give their time to pub- lie service without pay, at request of their fellow citizens, they ought sometimes to receive the slight remuneration of occasion al intermissions of censure from certain classes.
 That evidence of force of habit appears of front seats at lectures and entertain ments when given in churches, while at public halls the front seats are sought after.
 That some borough signs suggest these queries
 Where does J. Brown dry goods?
 Who gave A. N. Nichols?
 Why not let Albert c. Eaton?
 Is it good grammar to say A. Adams ?
 By whom was w. D. Heald? and is MT. H. an agriculturist The last query was suggested by hearing passer-by re- mark That's Heald's pharmacy" (This may be too obscure for some farm-I-see).
 Who struck Smith X Cooley lied about 1t
 Who is Hodgson of
 What does J H. Reed?
 D. H. Bellerose at what hour?
 Where did H. c. Wheeler to?
 Who is Wheeler's next door neighbor |? Morris.
 Winch merchant ought to excel as a pe- destrian? Walker. Which as an artisan ? Smith, the butcher. The Taylor sells m u- sical wares the Webber sells paints :; one man will Bidwell for the meat trade. Holmes furnishes warmth for our homes, and complete Patten at that -2,000 pounds to the ton Butterfield is not wood-lot, but sells lots of wood {; lots of hardware can be got at other Butter fields, though another Bucks against them for this traffic The Bakers are in the fur niture line. There is nothing .toul about the Cranes who sell us-the one groceries and dry goods-the other harnesses.
 We are conscious that some of these jokes are Medbery poorly, but they had to be brought in somehow. Perhaps C. F. Harwood insure their excellence.
 (southbridge Journal)
 wEsTFoRD.
 Mark Mowrey has bought the Jos. Whipple place.
 Considerable interest is manifest here in the Baptist church. Mrs. Fenner has been with us short time past, and has held services afternoons and evenings most of the time. She gave very inter- esting discourse last Sabbath from Acts xvi : 30, "What must do to be saved"
 A large number of friends of Mr. and Mrs. Charles A. Walker met at their house on Thanksgiving evening in re- sponse to an invitation, the occasion being the fifth anniversary of their marriage :; quite number of useful presents were given, and good time was enjoyed by all present.
 Holland County Leader: Mistakes will happen in the best regulated families, and as church socials were somewhat numerous last Wednesday evening, it was not strange that slight mistake should occur among these. It happened about in this wise A lady living at quite a distance from her favorite church called in the services of a boy to carry pan of beans and somp brown bread to the sociable As these af- ticles of diet failed to arrive in proper time, it occurred to her that they might possibly have been delivered to another church. Now the good lady had labored too hard in getting those beans and that bread ready, to relish the thought of hav- ing them grace the table of those of an- other creed No, she could never Foster such an idea, and so she started on an in vestigating tour after the recreant victuals. They were found, smoking hot, in another church oven. The matter was explained, and, after hearty laugh by all parties, the wanderers from the fold weree}5foagAt back to their denominatianEls N .ne, and re-installed and verify thefe Was more re- ]oicing over, and calling for those baked beans and that brown bread, than for all of the baked beans and brown bread which went not astray.
 Wilcox's jewelry store at Monson was entered Wednesday night, last week, and nearly $500 worth of gold and silver watch es, sllver-ware, etc., were taken. The Peo- ple's Market was also entered and the money drawer relieved of few pennies, the thieves helping themselves to oysters, fruit, etc. The selectmen and MT. Wilcox offered $15O for the arrest and conviction of the thieves. On. Thnrsday Lawrence McManus and John F. Dal wsre arrested in Worcester while on adfdhk and finding silver ware and goods in then possession the police sent word to Monson and the men were taken to Springfield jail to await trial It seems that there were four con- cerned in the matter, the others being George Handy and Arthur Brooks, and all from Woonsocket. They had spent Tues day night in. the Monson lookup and next day, tempted by the display in Wilcox window, planned the robberies which they earned out, afterward walking to Palmer where they boarded afreight train. Handy and Brooks left the trainsat Charl- ton and are not yet captured.
 Southbridge Jonrnal: Tuesday raid