Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1885-10-23
THE DEAC0N'S DINNER.

The good housewives OF the neigh
Jorhood often said that Mrs. Smart
ought to be the happiest woman in The
world
"Such nice house as she lives in -
said Miss Bryce, who, poor soul
taught the district school, and ''board-
I'd around" like the scape-g goat in the
Scripture wildernesses.
"Such pious man as the dear dea-
3on is r added Mrs. Hopkins, whose
better half had once been a sea-cap-
tain, and was still apt to be profane
by fits and starts, when the cattle got
.ntO the clover-ield, and the midnight
weasel marauded on his hen-coops and
| I.urkey-roosts.
"With a store carpet on the best
room floor" put in Mrs. Jones, land a
weekly newspaper, and white sugar in
her tea every day of her life, and a
horse and wagon to take her to meet
In Sundays"
Such was the opinion of society as
represented in Glen Hollow. Perhaps
Mrs. Deacon Smart lCas happy
woman. But we are told, on the very
best authority, that "the heart know
eth its own bitterness"
Mrs. Smart was washing up her
best china, one morning, preparatory
to giving a grapd tea party, and her
cousin, Ella Dale, was helping her,
when the deacon put his shining bald
head in at the door.
"My dear" said he, "here is paper
of pins for YOU
Mrs Smart nearly dropped a gilt
edged saucer, in her consternation.
More piIlsl" said she.
"Yes. my DEAR" said the deacon,
unctuously. "Plns are always useful"
oh, yes, pinSF said Mrs. Smart,
giving her glass-towel toss as she
wiped the last globule of moisture
from u goblet. "But not rows of rus
ty wire! do say for it, Ebenezer-"
I'm going to Glen Depot, my DEAR
the deacon somewhat hurriedly inter
rupted, at this juncture; land perhaps
I shan't be home until cne o'clock"
lie withdrew. and Mrs Smart turn
ell to Ella Dale with a half laugh.
"There, my dear" said she, throw
ing down the faded green roll of pin
paper on the dresser, "there you be-
hold the secret of my domestic unhap-
piness, the skeleton in my closet p
Ella opened her round hazel eyes
very wide.
a can't think what you mean,
Juliana," said she. "You unhappy
and the dear deacon such truly good
man !"
That's the trouble" said Mrs
Smart; hes too good"
81 don't see how that can be posi-
ble," protested Ella. more perplexed
than ever.
And it's all at my expense" said
Mrs. Smart. dolefu'ly. "Do you see
that paper of pins?'
"Why, of course see it," said Ella.
"Well. Mr., Smart has bought that
paper Of pins of peddler at the door,
said Mrs. Smart. "Peddlers always
come here. This house is a Mecca to
the race of peddlers. They know that
Mr. Smart always buys of them-he's
too good-hearted to say no; or rather
let us speak the truth and shame hin
who shall be nameess between us-ht
is too indolent to resist their importu-
mites"
Ella burst ont laughing.
"But what a very insignificant
little trial r said she.
"Oh, yes. 1 dare sayr' said Mrs
Smart THE sting of hornet isn't
so very terrible in itself. but when a
whole swarm is let loose upon you
what then?'
"a swarm" repeated innocent Ella
MY dear" said Mrs. Smart, lower
ing her voice to a confidential whisper
"up stairs in my bedroom closet
have eighteen papers of just sucl
cheap pins-utterly useless for any
thing but to bend themselves up doub
lie when you try to put them through
a single thickness of calico, and to de
priye you of your temper just whel
you need it most; six cards of porce
lain buttons-an article which mere
use; nine packages of stove blacking
thirteen bottles of sewing machine oil
five papers of rusty needles; doze
pairs of shoe-strings; and eight roll
of tape, which is an insult to one
common sensel If l could reconcile
to my conscience. I'd fling the whol
collection into the fire; but l wa
brought up to economic. What d
you think, Ella? Would it he sin
annihilate all these pitfalls to m
olranimity?'