The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1885-03-20
AND Hu,iol..

III u nOIhs
-Somerville Journal.
Oh, the snow, the beautiful snow,
(Shut the door,
Filling the sky and earth below;
(Yes. you cnn shovel II OF for a quarter.l
Over the house-tops, over the street.
$50 an hour for a sleigh? Good heavenso
Over the heads of the people you meet;
ARREST that boy for snow-ballingD
Dancing,
Flirting,
SHINING along
Hit tho poet with leather thong.
Merchant Traveller.
''Will YOU walk into nv parlor?"
Said the spider to the fly;
ITS The prettiest little parlor
That ever you did spy,
Puts and calls in every corner,
And spread eagles on the floor;
VIII you come into my par or?'
Quoth the fly, "Oh, nevermore!
p. Size had been there once; hence
he was fly Bevdette.
Hardly have the echos of the terrible
dynamite explosions died away before
new poem by Tennyson is announced.
Philadelphia Call
"Did the deceased die under suspi-
cious circumstances" asked Coroner
of rural witness. "Naw, he didn't;
he died in the water under the ice"
One half the world doesn't know
how the other half lives; but, in fash
ionab society, that isn't because it
hasn't tried its prcttiest to find out.
Any marriage in New York City
which calls out less than 500 specta-
tors to the church is spoken of as q
gloomy failure. They don't count
anything for love.
Mrs. Newgold Gin the picture gallery
This, Aunt Eunice. is real old mas
ter. Aunt Eunice-Well, l shouldn't
care if it was; it's just as good as some
of the new ones.-LJe.
"Ah! you fattcr me " lisped dude
to a pretty girl with whom he was con-
versing. mo, don't" was the reply.
"You couldn't be any flatter than you
are. "-Burlington Free Press.
"Pah," asked young Johnnie Jarph-
ly ''what is defaultcr?' "He is a
man who loses money that does not
belong to him, my son." replied Mr.
Jarphly. "And what is q financier?"
Zone who hangs onto it. Httsbuyg
Chronicle.
young Artist displaying a picture)
This painting is entitled Jonah and
the whale. "Where is Jonah?n
pearance of the whales stomach mid
way between the tail and the neck?"
Eyes" That's Jonah. "-New York
Sun.
1t would take wise man TO penc-
tratc the subtle and intricate processes
of young woman's reasoning. Il
don't like Mr.. L." we heard one say
to another not long ago. 'Whyp"
asked her listener. "Oh, to begin with,
he wears Lavender gloves" was the
response, and to both these petticoated
critics the matter seemed sufficiently
discussed and satisfactorily settled.
Jay Gould's little boy recently went
to visit some country relatives. Early
in the morning he arose, and, missing
his uncle, asked one of his cousins:
"Where's Uncle Jabez gomez" ''He's
gone to water stock" replied Jabez's
little boy. What, so early!' exclaimed
little Jay Gould. "Why, my pa never
waters stock until he goes downtown
in the city, bout 10 or IL. PHtSburg
Chronicle.
As the reporters were gathering tho
names of the ladies at the masquerade
last evening, one of the latter entered,
dressed in an elegant costume. She
was Immediately approached BY n pen
cil-fend, who politely asked: "Your
name, pleasep' "My name is Miss
Brown what is your characterp"
"It never has been questioned. Young
man, YOU are little too fresh. -Sacrd-
mento (Cat. Record Union.
1t was at n murder trial A witness
for the defense was on the stand.
"WhaC uo Oh intend To r@oyc by this
witness?" asked the .Ei &c. ''That
the prisoner is insane. replied the
attorney. "Does the witness know any,
thing about insanity? Is iia "a cxpertP"
"Expertp" repeated the LAWYER. 'Well,
| should say he was. He knows all
about insanity. Why. Your Honor, he
has been as crazy as n loon for the past
ten years"
Mamma said q 5-ycar-old. as he
stood on tiptoc by the bedside and
peered ut his now little brother,
where did that baby come from?"
1.-The angels brought him, darling"
said mamma. "Tho angels brought
himp" echoed the shaver as he gazed
at the wrinkled, fidgety, red counten-
ance. 'Well, all I've got to say is, if
the angels couldn't "a scared up bet
ter lookin' baby they'd better a kept
him at home. oil city Blizzard.
"You horrid thingr' said Miss Jaggs
to Miss Minnie Jaggs when they had
sought their room; you actually ate
that biscuit after Uncle Horace had
reached it to you on his own fork!"
"Well, what of itp' "What of itp I
should say what of it! The idea of
touching anything that anybody else's
any difference in Uncle Horace's case"
"Why notp" Because he never puts
his fork in his mouth. "-Rockland
Courier.
The story goes that the Russian Car,
Alexander l., having once heard that
one of his courtiers. to whom he was
stron DIV attached. had become involved