davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
HE WHALES IAIL..
It's Fropulsory Apparatus Powerful Al
most Beyond Conception.

Its Propulsory Apparatus Powerful Al
most Beyond Conception.
The power of the whales tail is al
most beyond conception. The weight
of full grown whale may be appreci-
ated when the reader rejects that the
famous elephant Jumbo would have
to be multiplied many t:mes before his
weight would equal that of large
whale. Yet the late Captain Scott.
Royal Navy, told me that when on the
quarter deck of his own ship he repeat
eddy saw the whales leaping in mere
play so high out of the water that the
horizon was clearly visible under them.
Now, Captain Scott lived to be nearly
one Aundred years old, and when he
was in active service the quarter deck
of man-of-wsr was at least thirty feet
above the water; add to this measure
msnt his own height, Che being rather
tall MANI. and the reader car then
appreciate tie terrific power of the ami
malls tail. l may here mention that
shis habit of springing out of the water
is called ''breaching" by whsaers. Be-
which has just been mentioned,
the whale possesses another muscle
which surrounds the body; it is
scientifically and happily called
the "pa1,niculus cdrYesuS ''-or "fleshy
rag'-and is developed in various
WAYS, according to the animal. 1t is
with this muscle that the dog shakes
| his skin when he comes out of the
water. The hedgehog has it very
powerfully developed in order to Gu
| able it to coil itself into the spiky
ball w tn which we are so familiar.
The manis, armadillo. and echrlna
alsc possess it and use it for similar
purpose. Man has but very Little of
it, THE chief vestiges being the muscles
OF the face, which give to the hGman
countenance its changing expressions.
| The whale wants it for two purfo 'es.
| He wants it to enable him to bend
bis body "a function easily observed
! in the dolphins as they curve their
graceful course Through the SEA; but
{. chiefly he nahs it because BY con-
4 tracing it he can make his body heav-
/ Ter than a corresponding bulk of water.
| This he has no difficulty in doing. and
when he wishes to seek the surface he
has only to plax the pressure. when
the body resains its original size and
becomes lighter than the propsrtionate
bulk of water. BY means of this
muscle the hippopotamus, the ele-
plant, and tiIe seal can Sink them
selves below the surface and rise again
without mcv ing limb. For want of
it man can not perform this seat. and
the best sw isnmer in the world would
not be able e. sink and rise again to
the surface without moving hand or
foot.-Rer. j. q. Hood, in AoRgnaan's
Magazine
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
FUNNY tEANCIES,
Some Statements by a philosopher Pro
vocatfve Of Amusement.

Some Statements by philosopher Pro-
vocative Of Amusement.
Among other ccrIrious geological
statements of Aristotle's which seem to
receive his support, and which may be
set down as current folklore of his
time, are the following: IF any one
make noise as grasshoppers fly
along. they emit "a kind of moisture. as
agriculturists sax. They feed on dew,
and if person advances to them
bending his iingerand then straighten-
ing it, they will remain more quiet than
if the finger is pUt out straight at once.
and will climb up the finger, for from
bad sight they ascend it as if it We're q
moving leaf" Persons who have
parasites in the bead are less subject tc
headache. Moths are produced in the
greatest abundance if spider is shu
up with them in the wool, for this
creature being thirsty dries up any
moisture which may be present. Small
birds during the day fly round the owl
which is called admiring it--and as
they fly round it they pluck out its
feathers" 1.-The anthus' (some bright
colored bird) lis an enemy to the
horse. for 1t drives the horse from its
pasture and eats the grass; it initiates
the voice of the horse and frightens il
by flying at it. but when the horse
catches it he kills it." IF any one
takes hold of a she-goat BY the long
hairs of the beanl. all the others stand
still As # bewildered and gaze at her. >
1.-The hawk, though carnivOrous, does
not eat the heaEss of the birds it has
killed" The jay has many variet e.
OF voice; it ut;ers different one, so &c
speak. every day" 1.-THE goat-sucker
flies against the Sshe-goats and sucks
them, whence its name. They say that.
after the udder hes been sucked, it be-
comes dry and goes blind" ''Mares
becomes less ardent; and more gentle il
their names are cut. At certain times
they never run to the east or west. al
ways north or south" 1.-The SOW gives
the first teat to the first little pig that
is born" "When serpent has taken
its food. it draws itself up till it stands
erect upon its tail. -. 4. Fernatd,
IN Popular Science Monthly.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
Jerseys

Jerseys have become s staple article,
and are brought out with new trim
mings each season. at present the
fancy for wool goods extends even to
jerseys, making those of wool consid-
cred more stylish than the elaborate
silk and beaded affairs The newest
shapes are much shorter than those
worn in the winter. and like other gar
ments.i are shorter beh nj than in front.
They. are filled with all the seams of 4
basque in some cases, while liz Others
the front darts are omitted, and vest
is inserted in sloped seams that shape
the jacket to the figure. For morning
and plan wear dark jerseys have three
lengthwise rows of Hercules braid. two
inches wide, passing over the shoulders
and, to the end in back and front, Rep-
resenting box pleats. A belt of this
brad is then added. with a buckle 10
fasten it. More dressy jerseys of pop
py. red or cardinal have vest and "A
border on the hips. collar and sleeves
made of rows of soutache set on end.
with one edge turned in curves, while
the other Is raveled out like fringe.
Eor yachting and other summer pleas
ures are navy blue jerseys trimmed
with white braid, and with revers in
front. on which are embroidered an
,ohors or stars. Che only beaaed jer-
Seys shown have the beads sewed in
clusters ii intervals. or in I mes or
strips. A vest of velvet is inserted n
six Jerseys. and rows of narrow velvet
ribbon are Elaced lel0thwise along the
edge of theEarment -Harper's Bazar.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
AN OFFICER WHO WON'T GO.
Determined to Bring Influence to Bear Il
Secure His Retention.

Determined to Bring Influence to Bear to
Secure His Retention.
The postmaster of burg about
twenty-five miles from Detroit was in
the city yesterday in search of influence
He had been informed that his official
head was in danger-not from the new
Administration, but from his fellow
sownsmen.
IL tell YOU" he explained, as he
wiped tire sweat from his brow, a.. it's
an awful strain on feller's brain. We
got our post-office about twenty years
ago. Our first postmaster was too
high-rpsed to play checkers with the
boys, and we got up a petition and
bounced him."
"For.a better one?"
(Which was me. Yes, the bows put
me in, but after year or two they be-
gan to growL l wouldn't lick the
stamps on for EN- any longer. and first
thing l knew old Davey had my place"
~.Good MANI"
"Tolerably, but the first thing he did
settled his hash with us. Got his wife a
rev silk dress, and had a door-bell put
mp. 1t took us two years to bounce him,
but we got thar. "
'.And the nexts'
"Wall, we gin the place to a woman,
and she held it fur five years and died
Then we gin it to the storekeeper, and
he held it till he busted. Then the BOYS
rallied on me agin, aud I've held it for
several years
'And they want to get YOU out?''
"They do. I've had six circus horses
winterisg on my farm. and it's made
'em all jealous. A ligtningsroi man
has also made my place his head
quarters, and that's another reason
they are down on me. Jist the mint a
Teller begins to climb UP in the world
they want his scalp. Seon's l heard
they had petition around to dust me
and put in old man Smith my wife went
out and washed the front windows. to
show lem that she didn't consider her
self no Duchess, and put on my old
duds and sawed two cords of wood, but
it didn't stop 'em. They might have
got over the circus bosses; and the light
ningsrod man, but I've been appointed
State agent for patent wind. mill paint
ed in three colors. The CALLED jade can't
forgive that"
'.And what will yvu,do?n
''tDie in the harness! I've come dow
here to hunt up man who says old
Smith was sent to Suite Prison in Indi-
ana, and TN going TO have about fifty
influential citizens sign certificate TO
the effec: that if nv services are dis
pensed with they can't guaranty the
safety of this country fur more'n a
week from date. r-DetrOn Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
EAlSlF,ERS.
How They Were Punished DurihA the Four
teenth Century.

How They Were Punished DurinA the Four
teenth Century.
During the fourteenth century there
can be no doubt that the companies ex-
ercised a very effective superintendent
over trade and manufacture. The city
records abound with accounts of the
exposure and punishment of fraud at
the instigation of the companies, whose
representatives seem to have used their
powers of scrutiny and search with
considerable vigor. Some of the cases
reported with all solemnity in the
Remembrance" are very quaint, and
affords curious insight into the man.
ners of the time. Thus in 1911 we
read of scrutiny of "false hats" be-
ing prosecuted '.at the request of the
hatters," with the result that fifteen
black and forty gray and white hats
were seized as false, and condemned to
be burned in Chepe, while certain
other hats" of the bona fides of which
there was some doubt, were ''post-
poned for further consideration" In
1916 ..the good folk of the trade of
potters" denounced to the Mayor and
Aldermen divers persons, and espec-
tally one "Aleyn lie Sopere." who busted
themselves by buying sin divers
places pots of bad metal, and then put
them on the fire so as to resemble pots
that have been used and are of old
brass, and then," the record continues,
..they expose them for sale in West
Chepe on Sundays and other festival
days to the deception of all those who
buy such pots, for the moment they are
put upon the fire and exposed to great
heat they come to nothing and melt.
By which roguery and falsehOod the
people are deceived, and the trade also
is badly put to SANDER" The magis-
trates of the fourteenth century were
not restricted to the dull mOnotony OF
''forty shillings or a month, and they
seem in devising penalties to have
given free scope to their powers of in
ventien. For example, one Quilhogge
having bought a putrid pig, which had
been lying for long time by the river,
side, for four pence, cut from it two
gammons for sale, and sold part
thereof "'in deceit of the people" He
was sentenced to stand in the pillow
while 1.-The residue of the gammons were
burnt beneath him" In the same way
seller of bad wine was condemned to
stand in the pillory and drink q
draught of his own stuff and to have
the remainder poured over his head.
We may well envy our ancestors the
protection of this excellent law. and
sigh that the solace of its discriminat-
ing application is denied to us
QUaqIerlU Recien
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
Two kickers.

last my luckr' he groaned as he
came down stairs
Lost anything
Everything. ] wanted Brown, cOn
the third floor, to sign note with me.
WhenI got to the second landing j
met dog comingdiown."
And you raised your hat?"
Alas! No! ! raised nv foot"
And it was Browns dog?"
lit wa, and ne x,ss looking owe, the
railing"
why Sidn't you sbead ignorance g'
Il did. nd so did Brown. Hanged
if he didnt kick me ahree times aud
pretend to find out who l was, Under
the circum tances l couldn't expect
him to sign. You see-"-Detroit free
Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
THE EARTHQUAKE ERA.
Vital Throes Which RessK in Disturbin
the Earth's Gust.

Vital Throes Which ResSE in Disturbin,
the Earth's Crust.
The ere we are passif g,thpoeglr will
Ibe distinguished in the ifuture.fer it.
earthquakes that have been disturbing
s.secsionS OF the earth's surface,..and ir
seome cass5 altering the very shore
Zines. Thsse tLroes of ske earth lave
5een calleGIvital. as they ere a d,splay
of energy OF the part of .our planet
isself. In ase region it takes the. form
81 volcanic eruption; in another, OF
.ear5hquaSeS- 1t is now tGlerablv wsl,
settled that 81 csc perturbationS OF the
earsh's crustare due to the .shrinkagt
csI-sed by the planet losing portion
OF Is internal heat. As every school
boy knows. heat expands every ma
terisl object upon which it acts. from
wafer which is turned into steam t.
iron which enkrges very senslhly al
whts heat Fer countless aaes ON
plane. has been parting with Its heat
In Gsing so, the crust of the ceartf
shr III and mGtsltains are upheaved
Sho re Ines altered. and seas apdtaeean:
becsms deepeneS These recurring
SHd HhS sgtS piouttCt meat III tAS teCsI.
tics MS effected. ttat eNplodes in the
fora Of volcanoes. % produces earth.
guakss where stEh vents are mo-
known. 1t Is worth aotins
thai IL Spain several thcusanG
persons were killed recently br til,
earthquakes. Indeed. the destruction
of ! fe fTGR time TO tiMe in the Spanish
PeEinsBia from earthquakes has lsecp
yery great. In 1755 Lisbon was de-
strGyed. VIXEN $1,000 sersons were
swallowed Gp by the earth. The de
Str.ctiou Of life has never been SD great
in the Italian Peninsula. because Eesu
yiu: and -ftns furnished vents for tn.
subterranean heat. There are no volca
soes in Spain. The series of eruptions
thas have attracted the attention OF
mankind lately began with the great
earthquake at Erakatoa. This was in
the far Pacific. The day afterward, :
series of mountainous waves washed
the shores Of California. showing thai
the volcanic action affected the greatel
part of the bed of the Pacific Ocean
Since then we have had numerous
earthquakes in different parts of the
globe, intending tie northeastern pari
of the United States Scientists, how
ever, agree that California will always
he more Liable than any other State 10
the Un;cn TO these disturbance. -DriT
sycSG's Noa,hig.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

"A Cincinnati young man of twen-
ty-sev.n. naH,ed Will Doherty, has
for the past six wears been ndulging in
venturesome Oriental explorations.
sosne of which are sad 10 rival the
daring Burnaby1.s ride to khNa and the
most startling exploits of Stanley. He
went on foot through Bulgaria and
Greece, trayerSed the Llbyaa desert on
camesback. rode through Persia fro-i
Teheran to Bushire on an Arab horse.
and journeyed Though India on an
elephant. He has been the guest of
Rajahs and shared the hospitality of
Bedouins. and writes graphically Of his
romantic experiences = Cincinnati
Times.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

Gray boards or gray locks are
rarely ever seen in Teheran, Persia.
even the most venerable men having
dark or red hair. The reason is because
all, from the highest to the lowest, dye
their hair. This is done first with
henna. which gives it a reddish tint.
Many prefer to leave it thus. But 9TH
ers add to the henna second stain of
indigo. and the combination of the two
colors imparts to the hair dark brown
hue.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
A R.rrain In Conner Lots

3 what most men desire, but to keep from
filling grave in a cemetery lot ere halt
supply of DIR. Pierce's "Golden Medical
Discovery" by you. When the first symp-
SONS of con sumption appear lose no time in
putting yourself under the treatment OF
this invaluable medicine. 1t cures wher
nothing else will. Possessing, as it does.
ten times the virtue of the best cod liver
oil, it is not only the cheapest but far the
pleasantest to take. 1t purifies and en-
riches the blood, strengthens the system.
cures blotcl,es, pimples. eruptions ancsel.
ef humors. By druggists.
"Ir's hard to lay aside anything for the
future,n cackled the lien as the farmer re-
moved her latest effort.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
aWork. Work. Work 20

How many women there are working to-
day in various branches of industry-to
say nothing of the thousands of patient
housewives whose lives are an unceasing
round of toil-who are martyrs to those
complaints to which the weaker sex is liza
BILE. Their tasks are rendered doubly hard
and irksome and their lives shortened, yet
hard necessity compels them to keep on.
To such DR.. Pierce's "Favorite Prescrip-
ton" offers a sure means of relief. For all
female weaknesses it is a certain cure. ALI
druggists.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

Certain portions of New Mexico
abound in petrifaetions of various
kinds. 1t is NO uncommon sight to see
ireee three feet in diameter and fifty
feet long petsified aud often crystal
lied. The crystals-red. yellow. black
or white-are often very beautiful, and
would make handsome ornaments for
Eastern parlor;.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
Ladies' weaknesses.

Mr.. T. II. Gafford, of Church Hill, Nd,
is so thankful for the restoration of his
wife to complete health that he is willing
to certify to the fact and manner of her
cure. To Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham: Thisis
to certify to the grand effects of your
Vegetable Compound. My wife was suf-
fering from terrible disease which seemed
to battle the skill of the best medical meu.
She was in a poor ,languid, depressed, nerv-
Gus condition. We finally concluded to try
your Vegetable Compound and to our great
surprise the half of one bottle had not been
taken before there seemed to be thorough
change in her tohole condition, and now to-
day she is in good health and entirely re-
lieved from all former depressed feelings.
T. II. GAYLORD and WIFE.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

The cocoanut Will not flourish
away from The seashore. and DO mag
net is truer 10 The pole than Is the root
Of the c1coaaut tree to the ocean. for
Sieu tie root breaks through its husks
t points directly toward the sea. no
natter in what pos tlvu tie nut :
places =. tie ero::d. ~. j. EcY4i!.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

There are some very odd things 20
interest the traveller in Porto Rico The
.'switchmen" on the railroad are col
ored women, the telegraph opel:ror 4
one OF che stations is a convict with
ball and chain on his leg. and the gar
deners at the Captain-General's coun'"N
palace were Cinnamon with pigta!T.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
AMERICAN FABLES.

Pleasant Stories Thinly Disgusting Import
ant Morals.
A Carter whose vehicle was stuck in
the mud piled the lash over his mule
in the most vigorous manner, and then
Finally called out:
"-Alas! that / should be the owner of
such Cheap Beast"
~But you must Remember replied
the mule, THAT my Fodder consists of
the very Poorest Quality.
MORAL:
Cheap hands turn out cheap work.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

All the wooden tooth-picks are
made in Maine. two firms controlling
the business. The business is about
1900 eases year, 1,Os0 of them gong
to Europe and Mexico. Each case con-
tains 250.0 picks. They are made of
poplar and birch Some of the swell
New York clubs have imported orange
wood picks and a favored pick from
Japaa.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
MORAL:
THE WISE HRNMAN

THE W ISf JV M MANI
A Juryman who had Assisted in
Reaching Wise Conclusion in Several
Cases of Importance was Complimented
by the Lawyers on his Wisdom, and he
replied:
Really, l Deserve no Praise for
what you Mention, for | was sound
Asleep during your Arguments.
MORAL:
The less Lawyer the wiser the Yer
dict.-DetrOH Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

You've and niddle-aged men suffering
from nervous debility, premature old age,
loss of memory and kindred symptoms,
should send three letter stamps for large
illustrated treatise suggesting sure means
of cure. Worlds Dispensary Medical As
sociation, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

THE PEASANT AND THE DOG.
A Peasant who was Awakened at
midnight by the Barking of Dog
under his Window threw up the Sash
and called out:
.'How, now, what is the danger?"
There is meme"
Then why do you Bark and Disturb
nv Slumbers?'
'.For the same Reason that you play
the Fiddle and keep me Awake-for
Self-Amusement" ~
MORAL:
When the Piano next door becomes
Cnbearable bury your boy Drum.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

"a God-send is Ely's
Cream Balm. / had ca
tarrh for three years
Several times a week my
nose would bleed. 1
thought the sores would
never heal. Your Balm
has cured me."-MRs. NJ.
A. JACKSON, Portsmouth,
n. II.
My daughter and myself.
great sufferers from ca
tarrh. were cured by Ely's
Cream Balm. My sense of
smell was restored.-C. NJ.
STANLEY, Merchant, Itha-
ca. n. Y.
Cream Balm is q
remedy based up6n a cor
rect diagnosis Of this dis
ease and can be depended
upon. 80 cents at drug
lists; 60 cents by mail reg
istered. Sample bottle by /
ely BROTHERS,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

A NEW HAMPSHIRE physicians horse
baked the other day, and four patients re-
covered before he could reach them.-Bos-
ton Post.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

Mr.. 8. T. G.. MoRsELL, Washington, d.
c., writes: Had severe cough and throat
irritation. Red Star Cough Cure gave
permanent relief
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

PIXIES ToOrHACHE DROPS cure in minute, &c
GIenn's Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. &c.
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Ccrns BuI ions.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

COUGHS. BRowN's BRONCHIAL TRoCHEs
will alleviate Coughs, Sore Throat and
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

THE Chinese language has several thou
sand letters, but T is the one most used.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

Major r. b. Nicholson, favorabfy
known in Wheeling, w. Va, writes:
81 had long suffered from dis
order of the bladder and kidneys,
complicated with weak nerves,
poor digestion and bad blood. Life
was Becoming burden to me. The
use of cathartic mixtures and
diuretic compounds only afforded
me slight temporary relief, and 1
grew Respondent and discouraged
Indeed, thought my case entirely
hopeless until at the recommends
ton of my nephew I began the use
of DR.. Guysott's Yellow Dock and
SarsaparilIa. soon experienced,
relief from my anxiety of mind, and
severe physical distress soon ceased
troubling me. Eventually the most
gratifying results followed, and at
che end Of a few months never felt
in better health, nor have since
had any reason to doubt the per-
manency of the cure"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

WHAT is the difference between Twee-
dledum and Tweedledee! One is written
with more eaSe-e's.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10
Mrs. Catherine Seville, of Pittsburgh.

Mrs. Catherine Seville, of Pittsburgh.
Pa, writes:
al suffered many aches and pains.
arising from state of weakness Incl
down about my hips at times seemed
almost uncomfortable. was troubled also
with dyspepsia, while sediments indi
Gated diseased kidneys. Nothing tried
benefited me until j used DR.. GUYSOTT'S.
YELLOW DOCK AND SARSAPARILIA. It
has made me very regular in my habits,
and / feel restored to perfect health
Sores, pimples, aches and pains. formerly
my constant companions, now trouble
me no more. 1t is truly the BEST friend
of suffering women"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-10

Cheap hands turn out cheap work.