Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-02
BRIGHT BIAS.

doctor" said a man, ~ am overworked.
i must have rest. What would ybiI advise me
70 dor join the Knights of Labor and quit
wprk'" the doctor repilea. 4r6anSd,c
FRESHMAN PROFESSOR holding mp a writ
ten eXercse)-"I perceive that this one was
copied from outside helps. The man who
handedit in win rcman.'' a balf dozen re-
nsined- Yale Rscord. i'.'
'IoHS, did you 20 round and ask how old
do4as, nights ~ e.. air. 9.sWGn, what was
the tesult2" ssShe sad that seeing as how
youiiad the impotence to ask ROW old she
was shed no objection to telling 20 she was
a.. -HqrGord TfmeS. ,s. advy .,..
ll MRS. JENKs was reading of two Young city
experts who were going 10 the Adirondack
NY fishing. when she muUtered; "rhe sense
less dudes! II they only knew it, a teaspoon
tul of molasses AMI vinegar on pane Of glass
would catch more flies at home than they'll
catch all summer in the mountains. -" Chris
tan 4 d00cdte.
WILL you give me them pennies nOw?"
said big newsbOy TO a little one after giving
| nm "A severe humping. NO, | WON'T" eX-
another pounding" Pound away. Me and
| Dr. Franklin agrees; DR.. Franklin says:
Take care of the pence and the pounds will
take care OF themselves "-Eechdnge.
THE pompous turkey, swelled with pride,
At early morn doth stalk;
Spread is his tail, and dropped his wings,
And stately is his walk.
He gobbleth loud and raubously,
rs he pursues his course,
UNDERMINING of Thans sgiving Day
And cranberry's red sauce.
--Boston Gazette.
IAN VERY TIRED" said the lady at the
head Of the boarding house table, Monday
morning, to the gOOd-natured minister who
sat at the other end. You should not be,
said the parson; ''you didn't preach a sermon
yesterday" mo said the lady almost un-
consciously; "but / listened to one.' Then
followed an oppressive silence, which gave
the minister Jline 10 reHecL thab ne h6d come
out only second best PhtJadelDht1 Bulletin.
LADY of my acquaintance the other day
occupied herself in drilling a class of children
for II Christmas entertainment. Some time
was spent on that glorious old hymn, "Nen-
tie AdOramus," which the children sang at
the top of their lungs. Noticing that one lit
tie bOy'sllps moved in 4 very peculiar way,
the lady approached him and listened to his
version. The nearest he could get to the first
line was "Micky had a ride on stormy
night. "-AlbGRV Argus.
NOT LONG AGO IA an elderly couple wei o
out walking a lady on the opposite side of the
street slipped and fell down. The old gentle
man rushed across the street, raised his hat,
and offered to assist her In any possible way.
His wife followed him across at a slow pace,
and witnessing his devotion 20 the stranger,
shook her fist at hun. ''It's all right-it's all
right" ne whispered. Yes, l know 1t is"
II
woman hurts her toe, and you pillow across
the street to eat her up with kindness. The
other day when fell down. stairs you stood
and laughed, and wanted to know if was
practising for a circus. - Eechdage.
SCENE: railway carriage. PersOnages
The mother; the child. The Child-"What's
making this nOise2n The MOther-NThe car
riage dear" Child-"Why2" Mother-'Be-
cause they're moving" Child-"How2"
Mother-''It's the engine drawing them :"
| Child-"What engineer" Mother-''The one
in front of the train. Child-"Why's it in
front OF the trainYp Mother-'TO draw the
train" Child-"What tramp Mother
''The one we're in" Child-"Why does the
engine draw the train?" Northumberland
the driver makes it," Child-"W driver?"
Mother-"The one on the locomotive" Child
-''What locomOtive?" Mother The one in
front OF the tramp I've just told you"
Child-"TOld me whatF Mother-''Hold
| your tongue! You worry me-" Child-"Why
| do / worry you?" MISUNDERSTANDING YOU ask
me too MANY questIons!" Child-"What ques-
| tions? MOther-sO, good heavens! No won
der 80 many men won't marry. Punch.