Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1885-04-30
HIBERNIAN DONKEYISM.
HOW PAT AND THE POSTAL
CLERK DISAGREED.
The Extraordinary Dialogue About a
Letter that Never was Mailed, Over
heard at a City Delivery During the
know-Nothing Era.

heard at a City Delivery During the
know-Nothing Era.
BY EDWARD PAYsoN HALL.
For tae Seafiael.
"Fath and bejabbers, mishthur, and
will yc be aftber tillin me now. if this
is the Postofis at last, scr p
Eyes, it's the Post Office"
''Be aisy me honey, and be keind
enuf to till me, will ye iver git
through yer blarneyin and waitin on
these here ginJlemen. so as Oi could
git tonne to be askin Nv ye sunthin
wee bit? ??
Oh, I'm at your service. What'll
you have?
Haze is it, sor? Why thin yez
keeps sumthing to drink at the post
offs, mavourneen! Shore me name
amt Patrick if O'ill liver refuse, if yez
got it, some goud ovid Irish whishkey
stew, well saysoned wild the crane O
the poteen Drawn, sor, yer honor, good
luck till We all yer born days!
Nothing to drink here but water
tell me what you want.
Och, marry thin, if its nawthin but
cowld wather yez hev, shore OF kin git
enuff o that doom here in the Massey
sip, begorra! Is there ivur itthur
here for me, sor ?
Who's Me?
Why Patrick Moorfy, to be sure
what the divil do yez want wild me
nome? Dye take me for the loikes of
bloody Fenian boy that yez wants
to git hold on it to arrest me wild it
and sind me back to the ovid count
ry?
Where do you live, Mr.. Murphy?
Arrah now, me honey, and what's
that of yoatr Dizziness Git out wild
yer sloi questyins for all the wurruld
jist loike blarsted English spoi
| Och, darlint, be jabbers and dye
think Yell foind inny dinnymoite or
ovid poikes and mooskets thar? Shore
I live in me own house Bad cess till
we to be pryin intill ither paiple's
premisiz
Here's letter for Patrick Murphy
| directed to certain street and num-
Der. You must inform me where you
live, SO that / can judge whether this
| letter is for you or some other Patrick
Murphy for I believe there's some
hundreds of that name in the city.
Izh hit fur Pathrick Moorfy
Yes.
Will ye be after givin it till me
roight away, sor?
No, I can't give it to you till you
show you are the rightfui owner.
Och. We dirty shpalpeen, give me the
litthur thet's fur me-didn't ye say it
was for Pathrick Moortyf
Look here Mr.. Murphy. we
haven't got time to talk to you all day.
You must answer questions, or move
on out of the way of others. What's
your street and number?
Sivin hoondrid and elivin, Mullan-
! fly street, sor.
Ah, well, this is not for you-it's
directed to 1886 Cherry street.
An ye say it's fur Pathrick Moor
fy?
Yes, but you are not the one.
/ Och, blathers an it's me own litthur
by the howly Saint Pathrick, and ye
misherubble Turk, ye won't give ii
till me?
Here's another letter for the same
name directed to SOC Water street
another for 726 Choteau avenue
another for a merchant, corner OF
Chestnut and Market, and so on nut
none for Patrick Murphy, I'll Null
Amply street.
Oh tell ye Owe got a litthur thar
| TO hu
powers! May be ez they didn't sind
it till the roight place?
Well, where are you expecting a
letter from?
Frum Cork, to be shore.
Here are letters for the different
Patrick Murphys I mentioned, bearing
variety of postmarks-Ballinderry
Dublin, Ballytorsney, Kilkea Castle
Galway, Limerick, &C., but none
from Cork.
And dye call this a fray coontry
where man can't git his own litthurs
begorra, and ither paiple moosht be 8
raydin NV 'em? Shore Pat .MoorfJ
would shtaid in the soopyerbs ay
Cork, eff he'd a know'd it, before hs
kun to this waisht-howlin wilderniss
till We, sor, yez is made mistake
Would We be afther openin sum u,
'em and raydin NV 'em, to see if they
is not fur me, at all, at all !?
Which of these letters do you imag
inc is for you, Mr.. Murphy
/ Whoi thet Cherry shtreet litthur
shore ez gun, fur / lived thor til
St. Pathrick's awe whin / moved te
MulIanfy shtreet.
| What number on Cherry shtree,
did you occupy previous to that date
/ Barn hare, an Dim nivur gooe
enuff at faigurs to remimbur. It's fnl
Inc sorts fur me; jist open it ane
see if it aint from me brother Barney
thet lives twinty moile from Kilkenny
/ Oh, I thought you expected a lettel
from CorkI
i An shore an don't me mither live q
Cork-an the ould husha has go
Barney to sind it.
/ If you are quite sure this letter is fo
yau, Mr.. Murphy, you can take it ou
by paying the postage, % cents, an.
have It read by some person, if ye,
can't read it yourself
Well here's your quarthsr, sor, ant
now give it till me, and Oil take
to the praist, ovid Father O'Flaherti
hell raid it till me,