Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-09-20
WIT AND NUMOJs.

Her hair is muss,d she scarce knows yst
what's best to laugh or cry.
What makes her b ush and treinbe so
with mingled Joy and trightl
Tho FIRST time in his life her beau
lins kissed her sweet goodnight.
"Mary had little lamb" in French.
English:
Marie possess one small mutton,
Her hair was black like SHOWS,
And all over that Marie promenades
Those sheep follow her nose.
Graphic.
The bad-lcgged dude in low-cut shoes
bcmoans the law of gravity; no styles
OF gartcrs he can use offset his calves
concavity.
A gushing poetcss begins, "All that
j want is a single heart" This would
seem to indicate that she held the ten.
jlck, queen, aud king Of that suit, and
was drawing for the ace. Puck.
Why not bring the Indian to the cit
les and make voter of himp There
are very few rcd men who for little
tirewater would not vote for the best
man. i Lou,sU,Lie Courier-Journa'.
In Michigan they assess a dog 81 for
being dog In Tennessee they assess
man 90 cents to become doctor. 1t
costs half adollar more to be q dog in
Michigan than doctor in Tennessee.
Don't be dog. .-BdttLe Creek (Mich.)
Moon.
When Chinese laundryman sends
home with his customers collars and
cuffs set of steel-plated tinger-nails,
warranted not to snap off when button
ing collar or cuff to shirt, he will
receive more work and fewer curses -
AorristoWn Herald.
Miss Parvcnu-I was almost sorry,
mamma, that YOU spoke SO rudey to
that poor little Mrs. wilkins.
Mamma-Well, my dear pray where
Is the satisfaction OF being in the first
society If you can not snub those who
are out of itP-LVe.
The pine tree, says an authority,
serves As a refuge for more than 400
species of insects. We can now easily
understand why Mr.. Longieilow was
so strenuous in advising the aspiring
young man to 'beware the pine trees
withercd branch. '-boStoH Transcript.
Uncultured citizen of New York in
the greenhouse of a Boston florist: II
want few lunches of trailing arbu-
tus." E,thetic florist: 81 am sorry to
disoblige you, sir, but never heard of
such a shrub. can, however, let you
have the trailing drbutus if that will
do"
"lou have very pretty women here"
says an officer of the Strelok. "lthink
they are the prettIest in the world"
Those Russians are very sensible men.
During the pending unpleasantness
hny hul hn
pathy that can be reasonably given
them. ~ T. GrdDhic.
A Western man says it is easy to dis
tingulsh between tornado and q gale,
but this explanation is not so clear as
that of the British sailor who defined
the difference between hurricane and
typhoon. ''In hurricane" said
Jack. 1.-The wind blows rs hard as it
can, but IN typhoon il blows as hard
as it can and then gives Il jerx. ."-Bos-
ton Commercial. Butlet,n.
Mother-"Always say please Bob
by, when you ask for anything. Never
forget to say please even to the SER
wants" Father getting ready to 90
down town). Yes. Robert. my sou.
bear in mind what your mother has
.''u ""' .h "i' ","a,s 'Iy P.Inse ls
a'''o |o'"' ~, oo!' o". iui' oi 'hcah-
,LS ,hs,,, "m' w NV use 49, y, !" n"'As inc gen,
hat and La o o',,o wv, ,'iy my :, on'''oa' :, anu
'"'' """ ~ i'''" "'o"' ''
Girl will look at your hammocks.
please.
Deaier-les' miss Now, there is
something NICE NOT expensive, but at
the same time pretty and strong.
nn.Ior IVn "1ii '.,'y ,ooh very strong.
. -, -, a,m ' si' go 'n'oo i''' sus'ain
v, Dvo po"",' ,., in'n' &c.
ho ins, 3st o S' III -i ""N 'oo "oulu
,r! M !o, Wy we'll VIII LAKE
.r, ono. n, '''. .
imcy were ma'h'nS On 'he pt"ch. anu
~ i S'a"'. ~, "e'u nci Ii't.u h"ho he ru
hnI' I.J. =, 'o'o " Do WIN you %
Du,, ~ ,ooln' sou ~ !" o',Snt "nu ,oos 81
ah,n, nhuon i'oS,et' 10 you uear.
en'u'u "V' 'h''h 'n"' Poss'o'e' H"u
sadly away. bis sighs kccpino time to
the Surpes as thev ,sbed themselvesto
foam On tho ncbblv beach Boskon
Post
r,,.
.,l,I,, t",'iN !. aoo"lu ,"", Jung 'aa'o'
eno'ru Mss 'he'r Poou'es, Sa''i Mu,
.v ii'' '''ah W ms 'i'ehu' noie
"' .o'soi 'ol i.'
va se,' .noI' 's' anu ,neros "'''
p'.Ipuont p ioi tne P,oceeu'ns'
,''so eAP'n'n. :,
,d ne , reason 's INA. most o. the srls
%"nt , s mos", n"ah pGator 70 o. A',s, sn' P,ec"
..'hn un. was os'ap''shIn ny Matc hu'ohy
docs Of war.;"-N y ,iouyual - ''