The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1885-10-15

IL don't say as approve OF mormon
ism," observed the old man as he chewed
away at fresh quid; "but | owe one O.
them 'ere Mormon elders debt o graft
tude kin never pay"
"How's that ?" asked one of the
group.
"Waal, l don't mind tellin' ye the
circumstance to while away the time.
Long bout twenty years ago, when L
had some shape TO me, widder up in the
Chenango Valley got struck on me. l
was mashed on her. 1t was sort OF
mutual fire insurance company. Two
hours after l first sot eyes on her she
squoze my hand. responded by hug
ging her waist. She called me her deary.
called her my dovy. Dang my buttons,
if we wasn't engaged in less'n five
hours 7"
"Was she nice ?'
Gun! She was an angel! For about
four weeks I was the happiest man in
York State. 1t seemed as if l trod on
air half the time. Bimeby dark shad-
der got up and bumped itself across my
azure sky"
"What was it ?''
L
had her faults. She had temper like an
old meat ak; she smoked pipe; she
walked in her sleep; she believed in
dreams. We had little tiff, same as all
lovers, and she picked up an old scythe
and run me half mile. Then | began to
claw off,
Wanted to break, eh?"
"The wust way. She begged my par.
don, and called me deary and dovey, and
allowed that l was the noblest Roman on
earth, but insisted that the silver cord
was busted. Then she sued me fol
breech O. promise-damages, 100000"
"That was tough"
eyes, l sweat over it like yoke o
cattle drawin' hay. The day the suit
was to be called l driv down to the de-
Dot to take the train for the county seat
and found her there. She come right
ND and shook hands as if nothin' had
happened, and when we went into the
cars she SAYS, says she:
"John Henry, faint your money I'm
after, but it's you want
"'But you can't have me, Lucy Ann
answers.
"'Mebbe not, but you had no right te
promise me-
"Waal, purity soon looked down the Cal
and spies Mormon elder. knowed
he was, cause I'd seen him in Attica. HI
was missionary, sent out to gather il
the harvest. The harvest had beer
| mighty slim, and he looked as gluu
as a grasshopper LETT behind the drove.
goes over to him and softly says:
"'Elder, what of the cause P
"s'Tis a glorious one,' he answers.
"sAnd the converts? p
| "sRayther skeerce.'
essay, Elder, do you want to make {
hundred dollars and fust-class convert
at the same time p axed him.
"sIf it ar the Lords WILL he solemn!
an. wers.
"Waal, l sent him over to talk to Luc,
Ann, and in fifteen minutes she whistles
to me. goes over, and they was squeez
ing hands and lookin' ever lastin' blis
into each others orbs.
"'John Henry says she, a widde
woman may want money, but she wart
a second husband wuss. Let's dicker.'
"'How much to squelch the suit
Lucyr
"'Gimme two hundred p In twent,
minutes / had it all fixed, and in thre
DAYS she headed west with the elder"
Ever hear of her afterward."
"Slightly. About q year after I me
the elder over in the Mohawk valley. HI
wouldn't speak to me-"
"sWhence this disdain p says !, as
driv him in fence corner.
asAlas = sighs he, but you were to
good. She broke my jaw, busted my b.
rem, and kicked so much of the stufil
out Of Brigham Young's Bible that "
can't find 'nuff Scriptur' to hold . prayt
meetin' on. Go way, designin' villain
60 way
"And went"