Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-07-14
BRIGHT BITS.

IN Cochin China bad eggs are preferred to
good ones. The Cochin Chinese ought to buy
their groceries in AmeriCa.-LOujs5iiIe
C0UTier- journal.
81 DON'T BELIEVE in church seats being
free,' said Deacon Ames. And why nOt?'
| inquired the parson. Because they make
people good for nothing. "-B0st0B Transcript.
IT Is reported that the bridge policeman
who prevented cornet- player from Jumping
of the bridge recently Will be suspended.
There is such thing as being two Watchful.
Puck.
talking of striking" YES; / hope they will. !"
'You Gos Why, blame it, we shall all have 10
walk If they do II know it. That's what
| want. I'm a chir0podist. "-ChicdGO Netos.
THE PITCHER for base bail club is one Of
those who cannot observe the Injunction,
Let not thy left hand know what thy right
hand doeth." If he acted on that principle,
he would lose the game on balks.-P ittSbwr0
Chronic e 4eIe9raDh.
81 CoNGRATULATE you, my dear boy, on
your election" Thanks, awfully; I've
wanted to Join this Yacht club for a long
time" ever been sailDg?" No" We'll,
you must come out with us this evening -
''Me trust myself in one Of those boats? No,
sir. "-BO6tO7 Post.
AN ambitious actor once undertook to play
Hamlet and his ungrateful audience
Kissed him vigorously. He received these
testimonials of disapprObation with majestic
stolidity, and when the storm was at ITS
height, said to "HOratio'': "Only listen to the
Internal lunkheads Kissing shakespeare
SYMPATHIzING FRIBND-"Mr. Darringer,
am really sorry about your misfortune. Al
most complete financial wreck, ehE l hope
yon may be able to keep your carriage"
Mr.. Darringer-"My carriage? III be con-
founded glad if Tm able to keep my feet."-
PbjLadeiphf6 can.
A WESTERN MAN from the prairies of Egyp-
tian Illinois was looking at the CatskIll
mountains from the deck of a Hudson river
steamboat. What do you think Of the
sceReryP' asked a fellow passenger. ''Wel.'
he said critically, 'ips far, stranger, it, fair:
but il strikes me that it's altte bit too hilly.'
-Ne1o York Times.
coed. have the aptitude. II is close atten-
ton to small things which makes a man sue
coed -
''Ah, indeed Well, that explains it,
Explains what, Fanny
"Why you pay so much attention to your
moustache. -Philadelpbia OdiE,
"WHY," said man, referring to person
who always "knew it" and never was sur
prised at anything, "that man is always cool,
no matter what the circumstances may be. l
believe on the morning of the last day. when
the angel Gabriel blows his trumpet, he will
turn himself cOolly around in his coffin, and
say: That's All right, Gabe; you needn't toOt
your horn 30 loud, ] was awake half an hour
ago, anyway '-PrstserS Weekly.
"Is the coon smart ANIMAL" aeked a
stranger of OLD 81 Jackson, on Onion creek.
TAX about cOODs being smart. l should
say dey was smart.R
swell, how smart are they?"
"a coon played me de meanest trick you
cher heerd tell on. | fOun' a hole whar de
coon went inter de groun', and I waited dar
all day long 10 shoot dat coon, and when he
did come out he was polecat. "-Ierds Sift-
inQs.
WHEN Rev. sam Jones last Thursday night
declared that no man who went into the army
swearing came out without stealing, and
called upon any eX-sOldier to stand up whose
ton. one man arose before the great audience.
You went into the army swearing and came
out without having stolen anythingY" in
quired MIR. Jones. II did," replied the man.
''Then," retorted the preacher, "they must
have kept everything out of your reach or
Kept yOu in prison." Then there was a roar
of applause ChdHdR0Ogd Times.
~ AN sorry to learn of your wife's DEATH >
Uncle Rastus.
"Sah2"
81 say that l am very sorry to hear that
your wife has recently died.
Uncle Rastus with II puzzled look 81 giss
da' ap sum mistake bout dat, Mistah Brown
lef'de ole CONAN in gud helth dis mawnin',
sab. who sed she wah dead?'
1--WE forgotten now But certainly heard
so several days ego"
Uncle Rastus ibis face clearing up)-"Oh,
yaas, now ! understand. sab. Dat wuz do
| formal wife of mine, Mistah Brown. She died
mon f0ah weeks ago. De present incumbent
am all right. Erehdnge.