The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-16
THE LAUNDRYMAN'S VICTIM.
How a Humorist's Hose Were Branded-His
Sensitive Soul Narrowed.


Sensitive Soul Narrowed.
r. ]. Burdette.
do wish the washee, washee people of the
United States would call national convention
of launders and laundresses. and adopt uni
form style of marking the linen that passes
through their hands. I have suffered much
from the diversity of talent displayed in the pri-
waite marks of Anglo German, Franco, Hiber-
nian, Chinese and American laundres / am a
man not given to novelties. like variety, but
want it to be the same kind of variety. l do not
like to go round the country lecturing in the
guise of the tattooed man of Borneo.
Now, when put on my war paint and sarahed
forth to see whom l might gather the lecture
committees in, [ had my scanty store of linen
marked with the real initials of my own honored
name-that Mrs O'Mahony's husband might
know whose shirt he was wearing to church. and
Mile. Celeste might know whose handkerchiefs
she stole, and that Wun Lung might be able to
swear that the collars he offered for sale were
given to him by his deceased friend, Ram Jam
Bang. But did these simple marks content the
wash ladies and the laundry gentlemenf Nay,
not so. The first laundry gentleman marked
everything l had with big black X in indeli-
BILE ink, save only my-excuse my bushes
hose. These dainty little fabrics of silk
and worsted with faint traces of cotton,
he labelled by sewing large white patch about
midships on the after part of the veal of the
same. left all these marks on, hoping that, in
connection with the regularly ordained initials,
they would content the next washer gentleman
But he was Trojan, and he put on mark some
thing like the Greek letters phi, psi. This was
in Philadelphia.
At Pittsburg had roundup of my linen at
the Great Western Satin Gloss Laundry, where
the man with the indelible ink labelled every
thing XO, big and black, and sewed additional
patches on my--ahem! hose. l next corralled
my things at the establishment of Ping Ping in
Columbus, O., who stitched in frecracker joke
in red thread.
Wei and my herd of linen and manuscript
drifted slowly to the Northwest, and the ward
robe was watered at French laundry in Kala-
mazoo and branded OLA.
At Minneapolis it went to the hotel laundry,
and came back bearing the new legend 1T with
a lozenge around it, and with red tags on my
SKIS. This was growing interesting, and when
a brand of blue ink came into the plot at Coun-
Gil Bluffs and was cast for XOA, / sat up half
the night reading my things.
am fond of literature, anyhow, and when the
mental pabulum on my linen was reinforced at
Concordia, Kansas, by the addition of w in a
black circle to the bill of fare / began to look
about for publisher.
At Kansas City Hang Hi worked in crazy
quit stitch on me, and at Decatur ILL.,, the laun-
der had a rubber stamp, the design whereof was
valentine heart inclosing the letters XIX. /
do not know the meaning of the symbol unless
it refers to my age, which certainly has nothing
to do with the age of my wardrobe. This man
sewed white tags on the ears of my stockings,
with the same design printed them. AT
Terre Haute, Ind, they sewed tags on every
thing, from withers to hook, and at Valparaiso
they stitched XVII on the entire -, and
at Upper Sandusky got NYX linked on every
thing from collar to cruppler. At Beaver Falls,
Pa, Chinese gentleman embroidered on ali
my things portions of a strange, weird alphabet
wherever he could find room for it, and at
Uhrichsville, O.. my linen was returned to me
with note stading that all articles must be
plainly marked before they could be received at
the laundry.