Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-05-17
A Joke IN Garland.

A Washington telegram says: Col.
Dick Bright, Of Indiana, bears of the
honor Of perpetrating the frst joke at
tho expense Of the new attorney gen
eral, himself an inveterate Joker and
hearty lover of good fun. While Col.
Bright was ssrgeant-at-arms Of the
senate his personal relations with Mr..
Garland, then member OF that body,
were intimate and cordial. The two
gentlemen. indeed, became warm
friends, and have since remained 80.
To-day Col. Bright walked into the de-
partaient of justice and made his way
back into the attorney generals pri-
vate Office. 1t was after Office hours,
and In q few moments the attorney
made his appearance. The day had
been busy one, and Mr.. Garland was
very tired. Into both Of his ears since
early In the morning had been poured
u ceaseless flood OF praise and appeal
In the interests Of men seeking Office.
''Dick, old fellow" said the attorney
general. advancing with his hand ex-
tended and wearing q pleasant smile.
IL am glad to see you.
The two clasped hands and dropped
down on sofa side by side. Mr.. Gar
land had a pleasant chat in prospect,
and the hope Of hearing new story or
two.
"Mr. Attorney General. you look "a
tigued." said Col. Bright, sympathet-
ically. nod F.a-a ~ -''
"Dick, am fatigued. I'm glad It's
all over for the day, and I'm glad you
are here. It's refreshing to talk to q
man on some other subject than Office"
Mr.. Garland took one Of Col. Bright's
hands and rubbed IL down with a gen.
tie stroke. Col Bright, all unob-
served, smiled 0 very wicked smile.
He then Strengthened up and assumed
a slightly embarrassed and serious ex-
preston Of face.
Senator" he said. dropping into
the old title, "I'm sorry to dissappoint
you. but | am seeking Office myself.
have come in late to get an uninter-
rupted audience"
Mr.. Garland's face heightened and q
small sigh escaped him. But he rallied
and said in his old way:
"Well, I'm glad to see you, anyhow.
State your case, old fellow"
1--WE have always been good friends,
senator" began Col. Bright; "the very
best, l trust. l served you when
could when in Office"
''You did more than l ever asked
you to, and can never forget it,"
generously admitted Mr.. Garland. .3
''Well, then, ask . small return
now," replied Col. Bright. II don't
want any of these places here at home.
where there is such a scramble, but
want to 60 abroad. II there is no
other applicant deemed worthier OF the
place, should like to be made in
spector of pork at Jerusalem. l am
well indorsed for the place, as you will
see" handing over some papers. II
ask your assistance to get it. can
imagine no objection to me, unless it
should be urged that, being from q
hograising country, might become
the creature Of a pork ring and force
only one kind Of meat on the Jerusa-
lem market. My character, however,
is good enough, trust, to survive such
an assault"
Mr.. Garland had mechanically taken
the coloners papers and heard him
through without once catching on.
He had actually begun to read the ap-
plication, which had been made out in
due form, before the light dawned upon
him. Then his lips began working,
and, the start once made, the corners
of his mouth ran away toward his
ears, and the attorney general subsidized
in a hearty roar of laughter. Col.
Bright joined in, and the two friends
again shook hands.
"Dick." said MIR. Garland. rising and
walking off a few steps, "what will
you take to 60 over and try your game
on Bayard? Do it; and you can COM
mand me for the best dinner in Wash
ington."
But Col. Bright was afraid. He felt
that he didn't know the secretary well
enough. He contented himself with
lunching with Mr.. Garland at Mr.. Gar
lands expense on what he had already
accomplished.