Daily Republican., 1885-05-14
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.

o ine atter tho var, they elected
ustice Of the peace aud old whitehall
Ga negro, ignorant. but honest and We
nked. His first case was . jury tris
After the pleading was over, coups
Informed bis honor that he could CHAR
inc grand jury. "H'm Charge .
1uryr Yes, you honor" "Wel
tmmen oh de Jury, it pear d
case am trsw, an ] got 70 close 1t wi
DC charge. Considerin' de 'spsriepc
you hab got, 1 thipk will charge 70
two dollars an . half apiece"
why don't you call me douxev. an,
nave done with III You've binted a
it long ertuph," be- .narled out, 81
wouldn't be quite true" she replied
suppose not, 1 suppose 1 haven
ears enough for that animal" be re
orted sarcastically "Oh, yes yor
nave. she returned swaetly. You
DO l need. tben?" "More legs"
There's q sad case, said old Mrs.
squaggs, ns she laid the paper on her
knees and wiped her spectacler !" a
bride struck dumb after leaving the
star. and at last accounts she hadn 4
recovered her speech" "Its the wav
of the world, my DEAR" said old M
nquagRs, with q Sigh" It's the wav OF
tpa world some men have all the
luck " '"o
No Case" Prisoner, you are CHARGED
With gambling" Gambling Wbat
y gambling" Playing cards f far
money. =" But did not play cards
Ior money played cards for count
efs. Well, you got money for your
cotntars at the end of the game, didn't
you ?" No, didn't have any count.
srs ut the end Of the game"
There is n poor, untutored, freshly
Imported, sad eyed, red haired girl out
d situation. She happened to hear
ne .aiy Of the ouse remark that III,
on paintings retded cleaning. and
While the family were away for he cav
'he utilized bar of brown SOAP ami
he kitchen scIubbing- brush in cleari,,0
he paintings
Some strolling Thespians were once
laying" Macbeth" In country town.
Asir properties were not kept In a
cry Systematic order, for when the
rro OF Shakespeare's drama exclaimed. |
~ That a dagger that nee before me?'
Spill voice responded from the "fiieso
Ne. sir, it's the putty knife. The dag.
rr's lost -
blind man WAS lifting In COMPANY
III some visitors, when one of the
'mpany suddenly left the room. What
bite teeth that lady ba. % said tn.
ind man. Why" said q friend, In
I, nt surprise, "how can you t4l! phi
W cause" answered the blind man
ioT he last hour she has done nothing
II laugh"
A man and uife mo had been mar
I'd for several years, were riding in a
IVA carriage. The wife, turning TO
ppr' asked =" Dearest, lend me, for
nYn'ent' th- paper You are reading"
rtainly, my dear" was Lis reply Has Il
u AZ we reach o tunnel" C
ia ha that's q good one on wo- a
" laughed Mr.. Dulman the other n
'rning. What tickles you now ?" \
feh Mrs. Dulman. "Wby, La ha | n
oG'or say more than half the women n
lois. Yes." replied Mrs. Dui. :,
n. wearily; think he Is about !,
'ht Most women marry" n
What do you think of Mr.. Thomp- d.
= ms? He seems TO he very nice. "
~"uid not encourage him 81 Il
re- YOU" why, mamma ?" "He II
red hair. and red haired men are
ssys deceitful." "But papa has red fo
T Well. not quite red. child. Tia se
t@ led enough, though" Il
Who was at the door, Bridoet on "
ne butcher, mum, after his money" IL
'id you tell him that / wasn't at to
neg? Yes, num-" "What did W
say ~ "Shure, mum, an he axed q,
whin ye vud be at home, an Oi ca
III him that ye were at home on
lradays." tn
no says won An can't climb An ~
maid saw a dead field-mouse nv the
iside the other day, and in less Than gil
y seconds she was In the topmost sti
nch ofan apple tree, tucking her
10 IN aud peering around among the en-
iches for her spectacles. -
andlady Ito lodRer): " Beg pardon.
dlu unuerstai that you was n
or OF music?" Ledger: -" am, ma. res
Why" Lsndlady: We'll, sir, my Ms
y ave just bin and broke HIS con. Az
'.a ara thawt as 'ow should be STA
y put good job in yer way" me-
re- pa, what do you intend to give 9th
TOT birthday present." asked a int
~ girl OF her father, q we'll. known .qt
&c magistrate. "Give you," said an.
nagisti tate, whose mind was evident. issl
something else" give you? I'll Ru
you six months" Inc
uvertisement.-"A young lady Az
mas received a good education, can
, write, Is versed In geo, raph. HIS rev
~ usic, dancing, and elementary .n'
aeHIatics, wishes u r iuafiun in a Sci
=ctAbie family ms wal ' ~, ,,on. fac
the
Love him? No. mamma. hate yin
! me imprud' mt ,"nLR scamp!" ~,
en- suppose you will break your .,ci
cement with him?" mo inS.tJ th0
| shall marry hiDl" Well. we'll. and
n believe You hated him az bad. na'
thaf!' mat
ok ing In at two love birds caress h,T
ach other In cage, a little miss ~ =
! what they were doing. MAX. CON,
said her brother. Vnr
law! Why don't they get married
u on they wouldn't make love any
IT
rave you weak eyes?" said q lady the
applicant Tor .Jcheu pus,Iion war
wore blue spectaclss. mo ma. Of d
sain the applicant, "but I sconr take
Ana Things 30 thoroughly that the the
OF them hurts my sight, goth
'h, l am go glad you like birds, meu
/ kind do Won most ,dn,iroo', to b.
ng wife to her husband Ahem, this
l think good turkey, with plen Rev
said ,he in.hana pW1" con
o. moe as any" lSaS
orr esron5o,. 1919
natural Tor wo ~ns us WY IL Ia ing
n n for ,n.,n Ts 70 I'D cd tears his
vent IN, ~ .an oniy reason we chu
an os q n,oss Ppe ~ oecause uD
men do. .lou