Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-31
A HUMOROUS swYNDLE.
A Good Mnn who is Now I'm Trouble
with the United states for Do
Ing Christian Work Among
Misguided People.

Misguided People.
A missionary of q new type has turned
up among the residents of this city. He
is man of excellent intentions, but he
has an eccentric way OF manifesting
them. a long and close observation of
the methods OF professional philanthro-
pists and benevolent societies satisfied
him that their managers often secured
fair living as fruit of their good works.
He could not see any reason why he
should not do likewise, and it is only
slight difference OF opinion between him
and the United States Postof1ice authori-
ties that prevents Mr.. Israel III. Wood, of
No. 1885 Girard avenue, from still carry
ing on one of the most prosperous
schemes of evangeization yet launched
amid a censorious world. The tale he
gave your correspondent this afternoon is
sad enough to fill midnight mission
with lamentations.
THE FISHER.
"You behold victim of unrighteous
ness" said Mr. Wood. 1.-The postofiice
people have the unkindness to call me "a
fraud and "a crank when, as simple
| matter Of fact, for more than two years l
have been engaged in a noble work.
They object to my methods. Well, my
system is an effective one, or it would
not have attracted their attention. Do you
know, believe that my real opponents
are the professional philanthropists who
grow fat off the doing of good to sinners.
l did great good-incalculabl good; but
my ways were not theirs, and they perse-
cute me. My occupations gone'-"
"What work have you been engaged
IMP" asked the writer.
"1n disseminating the Truth-don't
forget to spell it with large IT, re-
joined the religious enthusiast. 81 was
not as good and pure man at one time
as l am now. L followed the devil and
knew his ways well. Experience taught
me that there was q large class Of the
wicked who occupied middle ground
between the totally depraved and the
morally upright. l saw that this class
was not reached by any scheme of re-
generation yet devised by man, and l set
for myself the task of appealing to that
particular social class, one of which had
been myself in the days that were past"
THE BAIT.
How did you go about this work ?"
CATER much deep consideration
framed the following advertisement,
which inserted in several OF the flash
weekly papers that find their patronage
among the very class wished to reach !:
Attention, Sinners "A book that every
sporting man should read !; better than any
thing of the kind ever printed; 800 pages
and no trash. Price, 80 cents. Sent postage
free, by Wood q Co., 1896 Girard ave.
"This, felt certain, would attract no.
tice," continued Mr.. Wood. cit fully
equaled my expectations. Before the end
of a week began to receive letters at the
| To Et,A I,x, AI,., ,lN.x, -,
creased to eighty, then a hundred. /
was delighted. All letters contained the
stipulated sum. Some of them also had
the stamps for return postage. Core
spondents in Texas and the South for
warded larger sums, and wanted five,
ten and dozen copies. 1t was bonanza
in the cause of good works. / sent an
average of a hundred books day for
several months. / never felt happier in
my life."
THE BOOK.
"But you have not explained what the
book was. Nothing Objectionable, it is
to be hoped?'
'No, indeed. i sent to all the cores
pondents who inclosed money neat copy
/ of the New Testament. / bought these
! by the hundred OF the Bible Society, cor
! ner OF Seventh and Walnut streets, and
, paid $4.75 per hundred copies"
/; "What, less than cents for book
: that you sold to your patrons for half {
i dollar. Wasn't that outrageously dear p
"No, think not" was the calm re-
; joinder. "The books and postage on o
0 hundred Testaments cost me IS. / re
n ceived $50. That was only net profit o
:. $42 on every hundred books sent out
r Yout have always heard that it costs $lt
| -. - d - hi at:
!, you see it can be done cheaper. My ad
vertising costs me $12 week-or, say s
4 day-so that the contributors to thi
u fund for distributing the New Testamen
only dispensed four times as much as tn
benefaction was worth to them. Don
e. you think it was a novel idea, this OF in
ducing the very class that needs the Cos
pei most to pay for its dissemination"
0 THE REELING IN.
i at looks very much like swindle,
y rejoined the writer, Though your motiv
i may have been noble one."
B Appreciation appeared to be who'll
Y, lacking among the recipients OF tn
o. precious books" continued the misguide
4, worker in the field OF reformation. "Yo
" would be shocked, as i was, were / |
r read you some OF the replies that cam
d from my flock of novitiates. Some
d them received the word in silence, and
ID hope they profited much by it. Othel
n grew abusive. They charged me wit
deception and threatened me wit
5, the law. l smiled at their threats. Ma
10 tyrdom was what l thirsted after Othe
r, took another method They brought m
1T earnest work to the Office of the Postofli,
officials at Washington, and l have ha
my letters stopped and am under heay
bonds to appear for trial in the comir
- term OF the United States courts. Ism
that shameful? Why, in the two yea
that labored in this vineyard plantt
IL over seventeen thousand messengers
ct peace. They were as brands to the bur
~ ing. did no evil that good might com
~ Why, my young Christian friend, ave
ay aged three thousand Testaments mon
II, for some time"
nc