The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1885-03-29

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Perhaps yopr h--l'p'p,n si.,u, coming ."
'hs point snd mns NJ . ssiisr. prpp'-ai -
marriage has irri'sfst b"r 50 have sept
hrr IA q state q uncertainty fnr 'cn months.
meantime putting Yourself forward ~ nor
sni'or havs t"-n convinced t'pnt shc is rrply
- CIV" you her hand. anil YET have never
saii ~" word which pI"dxod you to take her
- your bride. you have given your cum
mon acqualntanc-s tho impression thu. m
engagement Ia sure to result. AMI that vir-
tnI.y. though perhaps M. formally. tho
marriage haa brcn determined upon.
" may 10. therefore. that -," has grown
impatient over your diliy-dailying. and has
become nervous and ire'fui. An engage
ment which lasts long. subjects the tenn
rrr- ~ the bot rothed 20 a severe test. They
are apt at times 10 be critical Of each other
to br too .xacting. and to presume on their
familiarity. Intimate IA they may be- they
are still apart, neither is fully known by the
| other. there IL n conventional barrier be-
tween them. ami now and again one or the
other may exhibit in moment OF irritation.
or when of guard. traits Of character or
defects OF temperament previously unsus-
| pected. The Intimacy may for the instant
tempt one or the other to overstep restraints
of courtesy and careful regard for individ-
ual rights, which are tho more necessary
the closer the relationship.
IL people meet only occasionally, and as
mere acquaintance. failures in that respect
are OF comparatively little account. You can
| guard yourself against the rudeness or lack
| Of proper consideration OF one you are thrown
with only casually by refusing to give him
an opportunity to disturb you with his Ill
breeding or deficiency Of fineness Of percep-
ton. But one who is near to you, who is in
constant association with you. must be more
careful to avoid offences against true cour-
70 nd yoipSf oalf. pH
must, on your side, be equally solicitous not
to make intimacy IN excuse nor use it as an
opportunity for neglecting what makes hui
man intercourse delightful.
| But n young woman who has not her tenn
per under control is, assuredly. not we'll fit
ted to be wife. II. even when she is striv-
ing to make her best impression on q man
she is willing to have as husband, she
cannot restrain outbursts OF anger and rebel
lion. she Is likely to have still less guard over
herself when she becomes wife, and Is SUBJ
jected to the inevitable trials OF married life.
She betrays disposition which promises to
bring unhappiness to herself and those who
are near to her, no matter how strong her
affection for them may be. A girl may have
all other charms, and yet, lacking amiabil-
| ty, she Is without what will make her de-
sirable as n wife and capable OF rendering q
| home peaceful and attractive.
| II you are satisfied that this girl has not
such amiability. but is the victim Of q temper
she cannot or will not curb. you will be wise
In Diminishing tho thought Of marrying her.
II you cannot get along together now with
out fighting, you may be sure that as man
and wife your battles will DO pretty hard.