The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1885-11-06
How He went Nutting.

Young Augustus de Jones and Miss
Clara Brussels never speak any more
as they pass by A few weeks ago the
world looked bright to the young cou-
pie. Augustus loved Clara and Clara
loved Augustus. The young man ad
mired the old man Brussels. respected
old Mrs. Brussels, aud was on intimate
terms with the house dog. A few days
ago the young man received an invita-
tion to go with the family on nutting
expedition, which, he promptly accept
ed. The roomy old family carriage
was comfortably filled, with Mr.. and
Mrs. Brussels on the from. seat and
Augustus and his darling on TIE back
one. The day was a delicious one,
with the warm, mellow glow Of the In
dian Summer air bringing delicious
languor to the soul. Arriving on the
ground, they soon found there were
plenty of nuts, but how to get them
was the question. Clubs were pro-
cured, however, and the work of pelt-
ing the nuts from the trees commenced.
The first attempt of young Augustus
was success. He drew back to throw
and took Mrs Brussels under the chin
with such force as to draw an agoniz-
ing shrek from the old lady Finally
all the clubs were lodged in the trees,
and it was decided that it was neces-
sary to climb the monarchs of the for
est if any nuts were procured. OF
course, this meant work for Augustus.
He avowed Willingness to try, and
was so bewildcred by thankful glance
from Claras blue eyes that he prompt,
ly commenced the ascent of black
oak und'r the impression that it was a
hickory.
"That young man will do some mis-
chief yet" said old Mrs. Brussels, who
was still indignant.
And then Augustus attempted the
explanation that he had intended climb.
ing the oak and then jumping over
from there on the hickory, which, as
the limbs were about forty feet apart,
would have been very heroic feat in
deed. The young man finally sue
ceeded in reaching one of the branches
of hickory and dislodging a few CON
sumptive-looking nuts, one of which
took Clara on the top of her angelic
nose, just as she looked up to see Au-
gustus, retiring her in short order.
The old man lay down on the grass
aud roared, when, just "a he turned
over, one of the heaviest clubs that had
lodged in the branches took him across
the mouth, knocking out two of his
teeth and changing his laugh to a roar
of anguish.
81 knew he would do some mis-
chief" shrieked the old woman, rush
ing to the relief of her husband and
gazing reproachfully up in the tree
Just in time to receive big hickory
nut in the eye.
"Clara," shouted the old man, "lead
up the horse and let us 90 home and
leave that internal young fool up in
the tree"
Clara, with a heart swelling with in
dignation toward her lover, did as she
was bid, when, just as the old horse
came under the tree, poor Augustus,
who knew nothing of the damage he
was doing, rained down a perfect ava
lanche of clubs and hickory nuts and
started the old horse on the run.
"Got all you want down there =
cheerfully shouted young Augustus
from the upper branches.
"Come down you confounded idiot
and seel" shouted old man Brussels
with gleam of war in his eye.
"What's tie matterin asked the be
wildered young man, as he reached
the ground. Old man Brussels started
toward him, but was held by the wo
men folks, who briefly ard sternly ex
planned the situation TO him in such {
way as to let him know that all was al
end
"Mr. De Jones'" said Clara, as ht
turned away to hunt his coat (and ah
how cold the words sounded after be
ing so lately called "dear Augustus T.
("you are about to lose your handker
chief
| But poor Augustus well knew thai
| his handkerchief was in his coat pock
ct, and Clara would have known bet
ter had not her eyes been swollen will
pain
Clala now has young Smith fol
steady company. The new gallan
laughed heartily when told Of ID,
Jones misfortunes, lie doesn't un
derstand nutting, Clara" said he 81
will go to the WOO Is tomorrow and
bring you all you want" He accom-
plished the feat by hiring buggy anC
buying a bushel for dollar of farm
er's Wicago Tribune.
| Afler a thorough test j H. Mercer