The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-01-08
THREE HOURS A TRAMP!
A WINTER MIGHT STUDY OF
HUMAN NATURE.
SACKS OF GRUB AND OCEANS OF FUN

"open house" on New Years day, and the
callers were numerous. Many styles of
affectation were indulged in, and different
devices resorted to for the purpose of
diversifying what would otherwise have
been the monotonous routine of "ma-
| chine calling" Messrs. Wellington G.
Evans and Ed. Poor, two as gay old boys
as ever lived, hit upon a novel scheme for
obtaining an inside glimpse of New
Years life. They assumed the character,
and dress, of "tramps." Mr.. Evans bor-
rowed from a coal man an old pair of
"working-pants," from another working
man an old coat used in rough work, and
from the Sheriff an old hat. He also bor-
rowed set of false whiskers. Poor
thought he was ugly enough by simply
putting on one boot and one shoe, and
turning his coat wrong side out, tying
his head p,sand a few touches to his
toilet. Securing walking-stick each,
they started out, resolved to call only at
places where callers were being received.
The first place, we believe, was the
residence of Mr.. ]. M. Tripp. Here Ed.
went to the door and knocked. Mrs.
Farrar came to the door, and replied to
his request for something to eat by call
ing Mrs. Trip. That lady, after looking
at the horrid old tramp, slammed the
door and locked it. The tramps left
their cards.
They then went to the residence of FL.
here, and the tramps went to the back
door and requested something to eat.
The ladies gave them bountiful lunch,
when Evans requested a drink of water.
Mrs. Chapman handed him a cup of
water, when the tramps dropped their
cards into the cup and got away without
being detected. A similar experience at
Sutherland's, and at Ruf's, Mrs. Ruff
giving them splendid lunch, but failing
to recognize them.
At Mrs. Vine Jones, they went to the
back door, but were requested to come
around in front where there was light |
Mr.. Evans stepped up to the light and |
the lady closely scrutinized his features,
and pronounced him stranger.
At Judge Trips, they stepped to the
back door. "An' would ye PLACE mum,
give us somethin' to ate?" The young
lady called the Judge, who was at home.
He requested the poor wanderers to go
in by the fire, and the folks would fix
them up something to eat. But the
tramp waited at the door, and soon the
Judge appeared with paper. sack well
filled with the choicest kind of proven
der. He gave the tramps his blessing,
wished them a happy New Year, and
sent them away rejoicing-but not until
they had left their cards. 1t is needless
to say that the Judge-who is an old
lawyer-felt that he was cleverly beaten.
At the residence of j. III. Bum, the
tramps went to the back door. Mrs.
Bum came to the door. This lady knew
about tramps, as the house
had been burglarized at one time, and
only short time ago tramp was found
asleep in the stable. In answer to their
request for food she told them bluntly to
go to the Mayors office. They knew it
was all up here, but as they left, Mr..
Evans stepped to the front door to slip
their cards under. While at this work
he heard the lady slipping to the door.
Just as he was frantically. trying to
squeeze the cards under the weather
strip of the door, the lady opened the
door and looked out. "What are you
trying to do? Burglarize the house?
Policel P-o-li-c-el"-and the tramps
took to their heels. Poor slamming the
iron gate shut on Evans, who every mo-
ment expected Mr.. Bum to come out
and catch him before he could get out.
During the evening the tramps went |
to the store of Booth & Poor-Mr. Clate
Poor being son of Ed-and walking
into the full glare of the lamps, Evans
asked to be shown some cheap pocket
knives. Ralph Booth stepped forward
and got some knives out, utterly failing |
to pierce their disguise. This was too
much for Ed, and he burst out laughing.
After enjoying. themselves for some
time with their novel sport. they took
their great load of lunch to the store and
requested Booth and Poor to give it to
some needy person or persons, and con-
cluded to go home. Poor got away all
right, but when Wellington was on his
way down the alley past Globe store,
Officer Tom Griffiths espied him and fol-
lowed him. They had a regular game of
hide-and-seek through the alleys until
Evans got in the neighborhood of his
own home, when he began to peep into
the windows and act in a suspicious
manner Tom took after him, caught
him and started to the lookup with him.
On the way Wellington began to pull
back, when Tom reached for his mace.
Then there was an explosion of laughter,
and Griffiths saw that he had been sold,
though declaring that he had great
notion to lock him up any way. Still,
Tom set 'em up.
1t isfair to presume that these men
had better run of luck than tramps
generally, yet they do not think they
would like to follow it as a means of
keeping soul and body together.