The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-04-30
BILL NYE ON DRUNKARDS.
H' Makes to the Public a Fair PROPOSE
ton.

| N the matter of temperance, writes
| Bill Nye to the San Francisco Ingleade,
l nay say that no one would pick me
| on; as radical on either side of the
| question. 1t is my doctrine that the
| evl of intemperance will work its own
destruction when the proper time
cones. We may get pretty weary
whiting for the day of our emancipa-
tian, but it is certainly unwise to make
thu cause of temperance obnoxious by
feeding it to the people day times, and
| then waking them up in the night to
ask them if they have violated their
soemn obligation. You may convince
a reasoning human being, but you can
not teach him great truth by painting
| it on any board fence in the civilized
world, and then running him into those
| board fences till you have smashed his
! rose several times, and taught him to
despise both you and the cause you rep
| resent.
The above solemn chunk of philoso-
| phT was written for me by a warm,
pe.sonal friend, who told me that when
got tired of writing mere froth and
| foam and foolishness for the amuse-
msnt of a sorrowing world, and wished
| to put together few sentences of sense
| to surprise the public with, he would be
| ticSled to death to come around after
| Office hours and write me few without
| ch.rge.
But it was not on the subject of tenn
| pGance itself that | started out to
| speak. | desired to PROFOUND to the
readers of the IngleSide conundrum
or query. 1t is this: Why is it that
WHEN a man becomes beastly drank,
| idDtically inebriated, and hilariously
fun, he will start out at once with what
| remaining strength he may have to
| hunt me up and converse with me till
his lower jaw gets loose and fall off on
tha ground with sickening thudp
Is it because [ am good-natured, and
show unusual conversational powers,
oris it because the idea of hunting me
upand associating with me does not
occur to a man until he is very, very
drunk?
However this may be, it is indeed
chilly day when do not spend an hour
or two in social converse with man
who is uproariously drunk, sleepy
drunk, contidentially drunk, tearfully
drunk, affectionately drunk, maudfin
drunk, musically drunk, incoherently
drunk, sorrowfully drunk, abusively
drunk, politically drunk, oratorically
drunk, admirably drunk, critically
drunk, disorderly drunk, ornamentally
drunk, or just simply drunk.
He may be in neighboring state
when the wild, ungoVernable desire
him +n /,
month which will ultimately steal away
his brains, unless he has taken the pre-
caution to have them concealed about
his person, but in the first stage Of his
inebriety he gets ticket to where |
am, and then he goes on with the de-
bauch. He generally finds me at last,
aad he sails up to where | am and be-
Gfias fn..s to conyerse: lS.e 1t seems to me now
up conversing with parties who meet
me on the street or at stations or in
hotels, and then talk with me several
hours at time while under the influ-
elce of intoxicating liquor.
presume fifteen hundred men have
held me by the hand and sworn that
e'erythlng they had was at my service.
Money, clothes, houses, jewelry, or
anything else they had was none too
god for me. Then they would wiring
ny hand again and start to 90 away,
bit they would always return and talk
sane more, and when l would swoon
aid fall over they would reluctantly 90
ayay. When i ventured to remind
ITEM the next day of their kind offer to
supply me with funds they most gener-
a..y fail to call it TO mind. Sometimes
tey ask me in an injured tone of voice
III expected to hold man responsible
fc all the promises he makes to the in
nmerable common fools he meets
mile drunk.
SO desire to give notice in this pub
II way that on and after this date | |
sail not hold any more open-air COM |
nlnications with common drunkards, |
al, as l want to be perfectly fair and |
Jst toward all, am willing to bind
Hself in similar way not to try to
nverse with sober people while | may
drunk. Now, if there be ANYTHING
utalr or unreasonable about this prop
otion | am willing to alter it, so that
q one can find fault with it. l want
tdo exactly what is right, and | do
ut require anything whatever of 9TH
that am not perfectly willing my
ST TO submit to.
N1