Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-07-20
BRIGHT BITS.

"FERpNAND WARD takes cake" says an
exchange. This would go to show that the
cake was not nailed.--Puck.
IN Boston you are saluted with: How
well:n In Cincinnati: Hog goes it?'-
YO1berS StGtesmdR
ALAS, how easily things go wrong!
pleasant drive with a girl along
whole month salary gone to not,
And u wailing cry for what is not.
-Otnctnndn Merchant Traveller.
NINE. ADELINA PATTI is engaged upon a
series of articles for BarDsr's Aagosiae. II
she charges the magazine rs much for her
writing as she wanted 30 charge the people OF
Louisville for her singing Mr.. Harper's wife
will be without any new fall bonnet in the
coming autumn.-L0uisciUs C0urier-JOurRGI.
AT CREMGToRY: Matron-"Jane, has the
ash man been around this morning."
NO, num-"
well, when he comes tell him to look
through the barrels carefully. We burned a
man yesterday on whom dentist took first
prlze for filling sixteen teeth. Anu, Jane"
"Yes, num-
Tell him want half if he finds anything"
Az EXCHANGE says that ''the first pure
monkey ever born in America saw the light
of day recently In New York. II these Italian
counts who go around the country disguised
as members of the Handle musical assoc alton
are fosting an adulterated article of monkey
on the Americah people it is about time to
in our food and musements.-NOrriSfoto
HerdJd.
THE boy stood up before the Judge,
Whence all but him had fled;
The lawyers spoke, he would not bulge,
But simply shook his mead.
The Judge in anger asked him why
His conduct had been such,
The boy came back with this reply;
Itch spracken nein but Dutch"
Case dismissed. -OincJaRdT Enquirer.
LITTLE BOY was told that he must never
ask for anything at the table, as it was not
that he was frequently overlooked.
One day his father said:
johnny, get me a clean plate for my let
tuce?"
take mine, pa; it's Clean" and he added.
with a sigh: There hasn't been anything put
on it yet."-Te1as Strings.
Il WISH, MAMA" said little Johnny Fizzle-
top. that lived in South Africa"
Why. my son, do you wish you lived in
South African
why, the msmmas down there don't wear
any slippers, you know"
YES, my son, but you must also remember
| that little boys IN South Africa don't wear
any pants either"
That's So said J huny, ITS queer I
never thought anything about that. ~ eodS
Strings.
u DO not like the new version of the Old
Testament said smith, particularly pas
sages in Isaiah
What is the matter with lt?" asked Mrs
smith.
1T don't render it correctly. For instance
take this PASSAGE He was afflicted. yet he
opened not his mouth That is incorrect"
"Well, John, how should il reads'
"Why, II should read: lie was afflicted be-
cause he could not make his wife shut her
/ mouth. p"
Hostllities began Immediately .-TAe Nea0-
! man IndeDeRdeRt.
| IN these days when sanitary science is
/ scattered broadcast over the land il Ia not
1 strange that the wayfaring man should be-
| thoroughly posted. An unusually ragged and
! suave tramp applied at the back door of
! Hartford mansion Tor glass of water. The
! lady of the house passed him n glass with her
/ own hand, when he lnterpOsed:
| Excuse me, madam. but has this water
been boiled previous to its being cooled with
| ice?"
"BOIed2 No. It's good enough for you,
| though"
81 beg to differ, madam. Medical authorities
inform us that water must be boiled in order
| to kill the germs Of disease that Turk therein
Beg pardon, nam, but would you lend me
the last number OF the Sanitary Science? |
/ will remain here until the water Is boiled"
my spirit bOils now, you impudent--" The
tramp saw his mistake and picked up the
thread OF his journey. -HTrtford Post.