Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-03-26
sPOOPENDYKE,s PIE.
He Shows Mrs. S. How His Mother Used
to Make EN-.

He Shows Mrs. S. How His Mother Used
to Make EN-.
my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
folding his napkin and pushing his
chair back from the table; ..my dear,
you are pretty good housekeeper, and
once in while you contrive tocook up
fair meal, but you have no business
fooling around mince-pie. There
never was but one woman that could
maKe mince pie, and that was my
mother.a
~ thought this was nice. returned
Mrs. Spoopendyke, with just little
CULVER resting on her lip. al got it out
of the cook book
And you'd better put it right back
in the book as warning to other anna
tours" continued Mr.. Spoopendyke.
Il don't say that this is especially bad,
only it doesn't meet with all the re-
quirements OF pie as they were instilled
into my young mind. You might work
it on founding hospitals that never
had any mother, but it hasn't the soul
! used to get out of pie when | lived at
home.n
..How did your mother make the
minneapolis, dearpn asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. "If l knew what she used
perhaps could get up one of which
you would eat six slices instead of
four And with this purely feminine
dig Mrs. Spoopendyke looked modestly
dos inward and began folding knife
plaitings in the table-cloth.
Gomez exclaimed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, jumping impetuously from his
chair. If you've got the ingredients
I'll show you how to make pie that
will draw bowls of envy from the neigh
bors, and Mr.. Spoopcndyke led the
way to the kitchen. ..Whcre's your
chopping-tray and the apples! Fetch
me the hand guillotine and the beef!
Look alive now. my dear, and we'll
startle the world with some new rev.
Citations on the abtruse subject of
mince-pie!''
LET me put this big towel around
your neck, SO you won't grease your
clothes. 7 suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke,
dragging out huge crash towel.
Whats that for?' demanded her
husband, contemplating it with no
amount of favor. (Which end of the
pie is that thing supposed to have in
fluence with? If make up my mind
when | get through that this pie wants
to be shaved I'll put on this skirt, but
in the meantime ] want room for all
my limbs. Now he continued, as he
dumped the beef and apples into the
tray and went at them vigorously with
the chopping-knife; ..now, you watch
the proceedings and note how the pie
begins to assume proportions.
Didn't your mother peel the apples
before she chopped themP" asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, quietly.
''Eh!n calculated Mr.. Spoopendyke,
slowing up a little and looking into
the tray distrustfully. .'Of course
not and he resumed his labors with
still more energy. If you did. there's
where you made your mistake. / sup
pose you peeled the beef, too, didn't
YEP Though | don't know and he
stopped short and regarded his work
attentively. ut strikes me this meat
would chop finer if some one had drop
ped pile-driver on it once or twice.
Anyway, you don't want your meat too
fine, and / guess this will do, and Mr..
Spoopendyke set the tray full of Jumps
on the table and rolled up his sleeves.
What will you have now, dearp'
inquired his wife tenderly
s.Some flour and water replied
Mr. Spoopendyke cheeriiy. '.It's the
crust of pie that is its genius, and
I'm going to turn out slab of pastry
that will be monument to the artist
who is weaving this job. Gimme the
flour and water while feel rs one up
on whom the spirit of a successful pie
rests visiblyr
Anything else. dearP' she asked,
as Mr.. Spoopendyke wet down his
flour and jammed his fists into the
paste.
Nothing but profound silence" RS
torted her husband. zinc chief trouhs
with the crust to your pie is that you
allow your attention to be distracted
from it at the critical moment. |, on
the contrary, will stop boxing this
overcoat for that mince-meat just at
the second it reaches flakiness," and
he slammed in more flour and plunged
again into his ambitious effort in the
way of crust s.There!' said he, when
he had fought it to the consistency of
sand and mucilage and rolled it out
into two thick chunks. There is the
triumph of pie over puttering! Lead
out the pan whom the gods would hon.
or, and let's see how this combination
of hereditary intelligence and acquired
brains will go when it is cooked
Mrs. Spoopendykc handed him pie
pan into which he dropped his bottom
crust and then poured in his mince-
meat.
.'Got to lift your teeth pretty high
to get around some of that meat he
observed, as he tried to poke the Jumps
into position with stick. Ppm not
sure whether mother used to CRATE the
meat or crack it with hammer, but
it don't make much difference. It's
the crust that talks, when you come to
conversation on pie. Now, you do
this" and he marked out sprig on
the top crust with his thumb; and
when you get il on, thus, you pinch it
around the edges, so. See? NV moth
er used to have an old wheel out of a
wooden clock, and she printed land
scapes in holes all over the pie. But
that isn't necessary. 1t adds lnstre,
but no dignity, to the performance.
Now, we put it in the oven, this wise,
and in short time we will have ac-
complished results in the immediate
line of pie.
1T is really wonderful how well you
remember how your mother made
them, /" smiled Mrs. Spoopendyke.
.sYou won't feel badly because il
beats yours?'' said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
kindly. you won't cry?' and he
chucked her under the chin and open
ed the stove door cautiously to see how
affairs were progressing.
I'll try not to, replied Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, casting her eyes down and
suppressing something that sounded
like Sob
Lets see. You stick in q broom
splint, don't you. when you want to
know if the pie is done? Where's
your broom? Show me the happy
broom that is to be immortalized BY
testing this grand apothesis of pier
Mrs. Spoopendyke produced the
broom, and her husband. carefully Sc
Letting one of the splints, jammed
away at the upper crust.
1t won't go in, he remarked, rath.
er dolefully, selecting another with
similar results. 'sThe trouble is with
the broom. Haven't You got broom
that knows something about its bust
ness, or is this one of those pious
brooms that won't work Sundays?''
and he broke up several more splints
in vain endeavor 10 penetrate the