Smyrna times., 1885-07-15
THE THERMOMETERS MOVE
MENTS.
DESPERATE ATTEMPTS MADE TO PROVE
THAT IT Is STATIONARY IN
BOSTON.

DESPERATE ATTEMPTS MADE TO PROVE |
THAT IT IS STATIONARY IN
BOSTON.
Thermometers gone up consider |
able since passed here an hour ago" /
ne said, putting his head in at the
door of the jewelers. store.
"Oh, | guess not" said the jewcler,
rs he calmly affixed his magnifer to
his eye and picked up the works of
watch.
but l tell you it has" cried the
other exctedly, while he mopped his
brow with his handkerchief
Il think you must be Mistaken"
said the jeweler blandlv, Us he picked
up pair Of tweezers and frightened
a screw.
Mistaken! - yelled the other:
" dye think I'm an idiot? Come out
and see.n
Pm pretty busy" observed the
jeweler absently, as he brushed a
speck of dust off the handspring.
" What'll you bet it hain't gone up?"
shouted the other, as he danced into
the store What'll you bet?"
W ClA4 Al " NAlAAAAE- W bNI y ON Il hOl-
lar" replied the jeweler.
Done! Come out now and see"
"They went out together
What do you think of that, now?"
he yelled. You amt blind, are you
The thermometer has gone up five de-
grees since we looked at it before
Pardon me-" said the jeweler,
calmly; the thermometer is in pre-
cisely the same place as it was when |
hung it up this morning. 1t is on the
same hook. | see, however, that the
mercury has risen five degrees, Il
change in temperature which the ther-
mometer faithfully registers. 4 Their
mometer, my friend neither rises nor
falls. 1t is a measure which indicates
a rise or fall of the mercury. Please
hand me over the dollar, because | am
busy, and have no time to fool.
" | shan't pay until some better au-
thOrity decides the matter"
We'll, let us go and find some bet
ter authority | am willing to let my
business 90 for little while to prove
that am right"
When last seen the pair were hunt
ing for General Daniel Pratt, the
great American traveller, who is al
eminent authority on all scientific
questions. Boston Courier.
The locomotive owes this to Amer
| ica Without the multitublar boiler NJ
weighty train could make schedule
time. Without the fixed eccentric. re
versing would be impossible. Withou
the low-dOwn cylinders stripping
would be frequent Without the in
iectOr, boilers could only be fed Will
in motion. Without the smoke-bo,
combination fires would light up tn
line. Without the air whistle the oil,
suggestive bell rope would chuck on
under the chin, and greatest of all, a
the train thunders along the englnee
can grip by turn of tn
the wheels on the rear car by tn
Westinghouse air brake and the mex
will be collision bumpers.
In regard to the French in Tonquir
history has not taken long to repea
itself The treaty of Tien-Tsin ha
) barely been signed, when the LangsO
affair upset it, and the informal wa
. went on. 1t is only few weeks no
since the second convention wass signe
| with China, and now comes Il report
, an attack on the French troops at Hu
Instantly the cry goes up from Franc
, that she must be paid in hard cash f,
| this afirOnt to her honor Possibl
5 she will get this indemnity but if hi
? tory repeats itself only few par
graphs further she never will see
5 cent of it.
+ TREATMENT OF INFANTS - Yt
e should have a thermometer to asce
? tain the proper temperature of Il
n water" said fond mother to the &C
+ Ored nurse who was giving the baby
l. bath.
= Whaffor?"
t "To tell when the water is too h
v or too cold"
y Don't need no sich dockermer
g Ef de chile turns blue de water am Il
cold, and eff hit turns red hit am L
hot"
And now the colored lady is open
an offer.
> Coon FOR CRoPs.-" What a wo
= I. derful thing the electric light is"
= "Yes, it is wonderful eXp'
?. after while it will be used to ma
= the crops grow, instead Of the SUM-"
= There are some crops now IL
/ thrive by electric light"
" Nonsense"
- " No nonsense about it. There a
20 lots of young men who SOW most
- - their wild oats by the electric light.
n Preferred 4 CRow.-Pope Six
V. detested tlattery He said one d
,t to a nobleman whe had tlattered h
Is excessively -
N az prefer to deal with crow th
Ia with a flatterer.'
le When asked to give n reason for
20 preference he said
nj A crow only lives on the dead,
n hatterer lives on the living.
Say this is not nearly reason. D.
of in the East Indies, and the cOuntr.
m full of them, will take bunch of {
10 ton in their mouths and back slON
r,s into a stream of water The tieas
them will tumble fastly to where
.is weather is dry, which will be the bun
No. of cotton, Just touching the wa
en- One look and one let go and dOggi'
St. clear of heas.
an An Important Discovery.
I,a The most important Discovery is that W
;, brings the most good to the greatest mum
s." DR.. Kings New Discovery for ConSump
a Coughs aud Colds will preserve the health
save life, and is priceless boon 10 the anne
Not only does il positively cure Consumption
lot | Coughs Colds Bronchitis. Asthma, HOarSe
and all affections of the Throat, Chest ana lu
e. WELD at once to its wonderful curative po'
IL If you doubt this. get Trial Bottle Free, al J
NO z. HOfecker's Drug Store.
IN
lar A man who started in Nebra
twenty years ago with nothing bI
wife and stand of bees now h;
q y house with a splendid mortgage ol
a gate with two hinges, and two dan
he tiers who swing on the gate and
Nv called honey. His wife, who was
industrious creature, has secured q
inG vOrce.
do BY the middle of July every
rod and steel mill in Pittsburgh, Pa,
vicinity, with one exception, will
yes using natural gas as fuel. This
II reduce the consumption of coal t
,itb 3S, ,25O, 900 bushels per annum.