The Iola register., 1885-08-14

Why ssaia Citisen w.s Pertsreed a.l

Why gtaiA Citizen WAS Pertufbed aaa
Aanoyed.
II was both surprised and grieved. "
said Mr.1 Samplan.s "when I awoke
and found = midnight intruder in my
bed-chamber. do hate to be awakened
from q sound sleep, and 1 had always
rather meet strangers by daylight and
take q regular introduction.
swell, this man-this very audacious
man-had the impudence to light my
gas and point pistol at me. Yes. sir,
and my gas bills are outrageously high.
and his pistol was probably loaded. l
do hate to see man SO utterly needless
Of other mems rights. 1t might have
softened the matter some had he been a
gentleman in his speech, but he wasn't
so-no. sir. he wasn't. As opened my
eyes and sat up in bed he growled out
in voice like a sea-lion.
".Be quiet, old man, or I'll bore your
brains with bullet!'
''Do you suppose I'd use man like
that? Never! I'd have some decency
about me, especially if my victims wife
was beside him. MY wife awoke, of
course, and when the burglar saw by
her looks that she was about to scream,
he turned the pistol at her and said:
"Come now; but if you open that
potato-trap of yours I'll pin your head
to the wall!'
Think of such language from per-
feet stranger! Think of the insult to my
wife's mouth! No one will ever know
how badly she felt. She just fell back
on the pillow and cried, and the auds-
cious burglar he clicks the lock of his
pistol two or three times to keep us
scared and then remarks:
"'Come, old coon. l want you! Git
up and pint out the valuablesr
1.-The brassiness of it! Wanted me to
help him rob my own house! was so
amazed at his impudence that got up.
He sat down in chair near the door,
pointed his deadly weapon at my heart.
and orders me to go ahead and collect
all the money and jewelry and leave it
on the stand. Did you ever hear of the
like! wanted to argue the case bit,
for I'm q man as doesn't like to be sent
to State Prison for robbing his own
house, but he thunders at me:
"'Lively now, old spindle-shanks, or
I'll make a corpse of you.'
81 assure you that was considerably
perturbed. Look at these legs-iarge
enough to bear up an OK. Had he any
right or reason to use the term spindle
shanks' He was no gentleman-nO
gentleman. sir. picked up about 5000
in cash, two watches and u lot of jewelry,
ard when turned them over to him he
further revealed his nature. Instead of
thanking me for the size of the cOntri-
button he growled out: 'Durn We. for an
old skinflint, but I'm good mind to
bore YET
I'm no skinfiint. as all my friends
swear to. and had given him all we
had in the house. After growing for
awhile he orders me back into bed.
threatens us with death if we move even
a toe before daylight, and then goes
down stairs. Here he eats up our pies
and cakes, breaks up all our plated sill
yer, carries of the milk jug and butter
dish. and in going away leaves the doors
open for cats and mosquitoes and moth
Millers to come in.
Il tell you what-such things go far
to vex a good citizen and make a bad
man of him. Iwant to be treated like
a gentleman, especially in my own
house. I don't like to have strange
people enter my bedroom Mt midnight
and brow-beat me- No true gentleman
will compare his wife's mouth TO po-
tato-trap. and no man fit to appear in
good society will call me spindleshauks,
old coon, ETC., unless we had both been
drinking and were having a hilarious
time. feel perturbed, sir-very much
perturbed, and if the thing occurs again
l shall certainly go to the police about
it t'-Detroa Free Press.