Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-10-08


multitudinous "rocks" on moderate sal
aries, we must be men of serviceable
sand" paradoxical as il may seem
and that the aforementioned police
captain has an abundance of this sort
of sand" goes without saying.
But all police precincts are not alike.
Not all are highly productive sugar"
plantations; not all rich, auriferous
"placers" for the aggrandizement of the
head "prospectors. While all pan
out" more or less, IN the great metrop-
olis-by- -the-sea, there is but one fairly
entitled to the tart for "productive7
ness;" and, as happy must be the cap
tain in whose precinct the gamblers,
crooks, and bagnio-keepers most do
congregate, provided said captain has
abundance OF serviceable "sand in his
craw," then must the captain Of the
pre- e-eminent police precinct of New
York be happy, for he can round up
more cattle of the breeds mentioned,
to the square acre, than any other po-
lice captain on the continent, probably; /;
and this kind of stock is very profitable,
if we'll handled; and what this captain
doesn't know about handling stock of
the varieties mentioned wouldn't be
worth knowing to any one else. Verify
the land, let us hope-and the" sports"
and the "crooks and the bagnio-
keepers are its profit, and ever will be,
else am no prophet.
But why speak of captaincies to you,
unfedged bird of evil intent, snooded
in O "snide shoe store"-it is "snide," /
suppose, becsuse it doesn't offer oppor-
tunities enough for your beating and
bilking propensities-why to you speak
of captaincies, when, fedged in the field
Of aprrqmisf tbeerafnR nRaIlisGssF I'd 5EoXiisiaR.
go to meet Crowley, gone before, long
ere you sport the chevrons of SER
geant, even.
You-why, you are q moral rattle
snake, O moral hyena, a moral tiger,
moral octopus-this means "devil-tish,
understand-in short, moral leper,
than which nothing worse can be said
of human. When man gets to be
"moral leper" he has struck bottom,
as it were, and rests-no, he can't rest,
he founders about in the blacklist
slough that turpitude ever opened on
the pampas of civilization; and there's
just where you are hounderlng, you
moral "devil-fish," you. Your letter
proclaims you combination OF moral
monstrosities; whole moral me-
nagerie of wild and carnivorous
beasts and reptiles, every one of which
is worse than the other; and that you
should so commit yourself in black and
white argues that the doctrine of total
i A. - 1a1 he hoo
less fabric of the cosmic phantom of
irreconcilableness, or any other spook
I'm the far-away whenness OF ancient
previosity, but on the solid bedrock of
innate cussedness, an integral portion
of which is represented in your person.
Now, put that in your pipe and smoke
it, depraved galoot of sheolish virus;
into your glass and "drink it down." or
spread it on your bread and "eat it up;"
any way to get it into you, 1 care not
how.
Your letter shows you to be fatty
degeneration of triple X depravity; q
natural-bo beat, blk, bruiser, ruff
fan, thief, and everything that is
frowned upon in respectable circles.
If not already practical thief, your
letter shows that you are on more or
less intimate terms with the vernacular
of thieves in regular standing, and that
if you cannot "patter flash" with the
most accomplished of the fraternity,
you can catch on to the lingo readily,
and finish your education in that line
at short notice; and let me tell you,
sir, that no well-regulated citizen
would ever be on terms of intimacy
with the flash of thieves, and don't you
forget it.
1t is evident that you have studied
into the marvels, makes" maneuvers,
and mysteries of that portion of the
political economy of civilization which
absorbs policing-lf you haven't as yet
aft into" it, as old man Shingle "fit
into the Revolution" it is morally
certain that you would fit into police
mans coat and place, and, in time, vie
with the toughest of crowd nothing
if not tough.
It is "Bully Rackit," you say, "&
sum gifts ontu it Rich" To cotton to
your vernacular, must say that you
have got the matter "dead to rights
it is bully racket" for such as Join
the force, going down through the
slums in blue and brass, and doing
business on the great thoroughfares; !;
and many do "get onto it rich" the
idiom understood. You can "Bleed de
Quisby Blokes & blowers q make q
Stake every Day." you say. Yes, you
festive tarantula, you can do these
things, which are done every day,
and you are just the centipede
that will never fail in doing. @You
ken Lay for fellers if yer Down on EN-
& Mock de Stuffn outen en-" you say.
OF course you can; it is done every day,
and you are just the "tarrier" to go for
'em; your ruffianly, brutal nature will
have wide scope for operation, and
will never be backward IN coming for
1 ward, am satisfied.
\ AS you say again, you can "wurk de
Gin mills to de Queans taist & bee hi
pye wild all de Dazy survent gurls. I"
| OF course you can, and, as you say,
! sponge on the apple women, fish the
pockets of "lushers," and "swipe many
d flimsey" True, too true, you shovel
nosed shark, for they "all do it, and
you are not going to be left, to any
great extent You say the "Salry is
Bangup 1900 Dollers Yeer.". Right
you are again, you hook-billed vulture,
chatting in "snide Shue Store"
1t is q "bang-up salary for such mate
rial as gathers it in. Not one in fifty,
the whole force through, could COM
mand the half of it in any other sphere
of action, the mechanics being too lazy
to work at their trades, while the re-
mainder could command only the low
pay of unskilled laborers. Yes, you