Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1885-12-24
mrsffIlarre0us.
Hints on Etiquette Introduction and
Calls.

One of two things, money or birth. seem
to be necessary to maintain position 10
fashionable society. In older cities per-
haps birth is more essential, but as
rule, money is the golden key that opens
all doors. In small towns society cannot
| be too exclusive and the wealthiest lady
in the place may meet her dressmaker or
milliner at evening parties. After all
there is but one standard by which to
Judge whether or not person is worthy
to become member of good society. Is
| he gentleman? Is she lady? Should
be the only question asked. Not that they
are well dressed, or handsome, or rich,
but do they possess certain qualities. such
as kindheartedness. good feeling towards
the world in general, repose of manner,
dignity, refinement, sincerity, and char
acter above reproach. Who could say
that a man or a woman with the above
characteristics was not worthy to mingle
in the best society,"? But lady who is in
all respects real lady may chance to be
ignorant of certain rules OF etiquette and
thus be too timid to accept invitations to
parties and receptions that she would 9TH
erwise enjoy OF course as rule socie-
tv does not trouble those who live in small
houses on a modest income. They cannot
give parties or entertain largely and the
latest STYLE in menu cards or German ia
vors is to them of little interest. But al
though she may never be seen at large
gatherings every lady will occasionally
be placed where certain rules of etiquette
must be observed, and she does not wish
to be ignorant of the proper thing to do
under any circumstances that may arise.
It is an established decree that lady re-
ceiving calls in her own house, must not
introduce two ladies who are residents of
the same town. This rule holds good in
exclusive society. but will doubtless sur
prise those who live in country towns, land
to many hostesses would seem the heighth
of impoliteness, the visitors. also, feeling
that they were treated with discourtesy
it not positive rudeness. Circumstances
alter cases, and what would be con-
sidered proper in strictly fashionable soci-
ETY., would perhaps give offense in less
formal circles. But there is one impor-
tant point upon which American and Eng
fish differ The latter never hesitate to
speak to any visitors they may chance to
meet at the house of mutual friend,
while Americans maintain their stiffest
manner until properly introduced. How
embarrassing this formality is to hostess
who does not dare introduce her callers.
If they would but exchange a remark or
two all would be easy. There is certainly
much to be said against promiscuous in
Productions. How do you know that your
friends desire to become acquaintedp Ger
tainlv no gentleman should be introduced
TO a lady until her permission has been
granted. In making an introduction the
gentleman is presented to the lady, as for
instance, MRS. B. allow me to introduce
Tor presenD Mr.. c."
Another rule is that a gentleman who
has been introduced to lady with her
consent, is at liberty to call upon her or
to leave his card at her door. Generally
people bow formally upon being intro
duced, but in certain places, perhaps es-
peciallv in the South. it is the custom to
shake hands. In her own house hostess
should certainly shake hands with per-
son introduced to her.
At a dinner party, few minutes before
dinner. the hostess introduces to a lady
the gentleman who is to take her down to
dinner, but it is not customary to give fur.
lHcl OOuCilOuss tIlC SucStS Uclu2 dt ltU-
erty to converse with each other. A moth
er is always at liberty to introduce her
son or daughter a husband may introduce
his wife. or wife her husband.
At informal gatherings it is proper to
introduce guests, in fact, ones own tact
and judgment must frequently be the
guide.
After gentleman has been introduced
to a lady. should he meet her again, he
must wait for her to bow first before
claiming her as an acquaintance.
In almost all places it is considered the
ladv's place to bow first when passing a
gentleman friend on the street. On the
Continent the gentleman bows first, and
this is said to be the custom in some South
ern cities. Should the ladies who accom-
pany gentleman, recognize an acquaint-
ance the gentleman should raise his hat.
A naturally shy person may be years in
acquiring the ease of manner that is natur.
al to many, and nothing but experience
will overcome this shyness. Some people
are nervous over even so simple a matter
as introducing two of their friends to each
other when all that is necessary is to say,
MRS Jones, Mr.. Smith," the names being
pronounced distinctly. There is no use
telling bashful persons that this is very
simple proceeding since it will not seem
simple to them, but they should strive to
overcome such unnecessary nervousness
and after making say fifty introductions,
they will be ready to laugh at their former
bashfulness.
When a gentleman is introduced to a
lady it is the gentleman's place to open
conversation. The one who is introduced
should make the first remark.
A gentleman must not shake hands with
a lady until she has made the first move
ment. A married lady should always offer
her hand to-. stranger brought to her house
by mutual friend.
Where the introduction is for dancing
there is no hand shaking.
In introducing two women, present the
younger TO the elder.
first call should be returned within a
week. In England the lady highest in
rank makes the first call. Here, the Oldest
resident calls first. If there is no dis
tinction one lady may wait for the other
until both are ashamed to take the initia-
tive. AS rule, however, it is well to be
slow about calling upon strangers, say
ones new neighbors, for it is sometimes
difficult to become rid of undesirable ac.
quaintances, and lady does not wish to
slight anyone. There is manner that no
one can take offense at and yet repels in.