St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-05
SHORT AND CRISP.
TOO YOUNG.


LADY, desire position as ballet girl"
Manager-''Pardon me, madam, but 1
must know your age before can consider
your request"
LII am 73.n
M.-''TOO young. Call a few years
hence. Boston Courier.
MADE HIS CHOICE.
Jinks-''You appear to be in hurry"
Minks-"YeS. Pm going to meet a
train. My mother-in-law is coming on
visit"
ALREADY! Why you haven't been mar
| ried a month"
mo. She is coming at my earnest so
licitatiOn, thought
But / thought you wouldn't care for
that kind of a change so SOON"
well, I'd rather have mother-in-law
than the dyspepsia. "-Philadelphia Call.
n SLIGHT EVIL IN COMPARISON.
81 congratulate you," said Brooklyn
benedict to bachelor.
Upon what?"
''YOur marriage"
''Who said SOP"
''Why, heard you were doubled up re-
GENTLY"
so was; but a cucumber did it,
'Oh!o
''Zwei beer."-New York Morning Jour-
nal.
INTERNATIONAL.
Mrs. L.-',Louise, dOnnez-moi un verre
deau."
Louise (the new French maid. who re-
eelves higher wages on account of her ma
tionality) -Faith, that must be Frinch she's
a-talkln'; Pm done fur, shOOr.-Life.
HE KNEW THE CLIMATE.
Commercial Travellers Wife-''Now. my
dear, what coat will you take with you? 1t
Is almost June; your linen buster will be
enough, l guess"
c. L. Lay out my fnr overcoat, my
heavy cloth Overcoat, my spring overcOat
and my linen duSter"
c. rs W.-''Why, my dear!-You are
joking, amt yOu?"
c. T.-"Certainly not I'm going to
travel In New England. Boston Courier.
THE SPEAKER HAD THE BEST OF IT.
"Ah, FOgg," began Henderson, ''what
did they say of my address last EVENING""
FOgg-'lt was the general remark that
you were very happy speaker"
henderson (delighted) ibid they?o
~ eS, but If L am any judge, you didn't
have many happy listeners. Boston Tran
script.
MR. NEwRICH IN PARIS.
Mr.. Y. (who does not trust himself TO the
pitfalls of the Gallo Etongue)- Waiter,
sandwiches"
Waiter-''Bien, Msieur; quatre?,
Mr.. N.-"Oh! yes, L suppose cat is as
good as anything We'll get in this forsaken
country. The Century for June.
SAUCE FOR THE ADULT GANDER.
Snninr
Why didn't you pass your school examina-
tiOn?'
Junior-''Hush, pop. If 1 had made
such poor show as you have in your civil
examination, L shouldn't say a wOrd."-
Puck.
NOT A BAD PARADOX EITHER.
Louisa, you shouldn't mind it if your
uncle is little crOsS-he is not what he
was, You Know, and he's getting a little
childish"
''Oh, but, aunty dear he isn't old enough
yet to DC childishl"-Fliegende Blatter.
NOT AN ANGLoMANIAc.
Mrs. Grindham-''I hear Mr.. Growler.
you have been making complaints about my
house. l wish you to understand, sir. that
1t is conducted on the best English style"
Growler-"That's the trouble | can't
cLCNP VII q p!AiOh lildJ Is tic 1TlQc6 OF
Wales cOat-Of-armS"
Mrs. GTindham-''What do Won mean.
sir?''
Growler-''Why they are made up of
three feathers! Ha! ha! he! he! hawI haw!''
The Judge.
MORE OF HER.
''YOu say you know SaIlie Jones?"
eyes"
us she hOmelier than her sister Mary?n
Yes. She's bigger. Puck.
SAID IN \ CLOTHING STORE.
1.-The matter is that the rotten thing is |
full of moths, you miserable
- 'MotS, do you say" Indignantly inter- |
rupted the dealer. ''MotSi Vat do you egs-
pect to Wind in 4 seven-tOllar Overgoat? |
Humming pirds?"-The Judge.
INVITING ON FACTS.
Two men were quarreling. One of them |
threatened to shoot the other. The |
threatened man, in revival of ali old piece |
of sarcasm, asked:
''Where do you bury all your dead?'
Just then, an excited man drew the satir- |
list aside and said:
my gracious! you ought not to talk that
wayv
(which way?"
''Asking that man where he buries his
dead"
''Why?"
Because he is physician. "-Arkansaw