Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-27
CLUB LIST.
We will furnish the following papers and pc
'dical with the SEMI-WEEKLY SOUTH KEN
rKtAN AT the auhininpd Thpan ratps.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

President Cleveland will divide
the floating church patronage around
he will go TO different church
each Sunday and of course the float
ers will follow him.-State journal.
FL Mahdi wants to go 10 Mecca, but
there is lion in his path. If he he
The true Prophet he will make bee.
hive of the beast, as Samson did, and
thus confirm the faith Of the follow
CrS.
-Wolscley promises to be in Khar-
tonm by next winter. We hope he
knows certainly that it is Khartoum.
1t would be bad it it should turn out
% BE- cartoon that he had gotten into.
The Capital.
A journalistic freak out in Iowa
has launched the what Is III? upon
an otherwise respectable community.
Before many weeks the query will
doubtless he changed TO Where l.
lt?"-N. y. World.
The appearance of the eclipse
promptly on time to-day indicates
that figures. automatically consid-
cred, do not lie. When they get
mixed up with politics, however, it
is OtherwiSc.-Lou. Times.
Commencing with last Wednesday
President Cleveland will draw sal.
AIRY Of $l37 day for four years. Few
linen outside of newspaper offices arc
paid such salary as the President
lcceivcs.-W. Tenn Wing.
1t has been reported that whiskey
in the cheap New York saloons has
been reduced to six cents glass
This is simply report gotten up to
Keep the oHd of Ofiice-sCckers out
OF Neutrality-suspicious. Siltings.
"lIclen johnson appears conspic-
uously ON new book now on exhibit
ton at the book stores. We have al
ways heard it was in Rowan, and the
run of Outlawry up there of late in,li
Gates that we are correct-RiclInon
Register.
Senator Walthall's brigade during
the late war was called 1.-The Die
lards.' here is a large army of
Republican oiiice-holders in these
piping times of Democratic peace
who answer TO the same title.-Lou-
isville Times.
A Kentuckian IN Washington came
near shooting prominent resident
OF that place lew days ago. The
man, who evidently is very ignorant
in regard to Kentucky productions.
called him Captain" instead of Col.
oncl.-State Journal.
The principal instrument of music
in China is the tom-tom. Itproduces
better music than piano, and is.
much cheaper. Any one can readily
make tom-tom by tying two cats
by the tail and hanging them across
clUthes-linc.-Newman Independ-
ent.
If the plural of anthropophagus
Is anthropophag,
Instead Of saying "!rospectuses,"
Why not "Prospectusi":
The columns of the Commonwealth
Are open for reply.
Owl poetry COvington Common
wealth.
''Mamma, who tore Mr.. BANDS
hair all out?" said little Mable.
"llush child, you mustn't speak OF
such things. Papa is bald, too, you
know" Eyes, but want to know
who tore Mr.. Bands hair all out.
lie isn't married. Texas Sifungs.
You can most always tell whether
u woman has married man for love
or money when you notice whether
shc warns his slippers for him before
he comes home from business or
bounces him out of bed to warm her
own before she gets up.-Fall River
Advance.
1'eacher-"Who was the father of
Alexander the Great?' Little girl
(blushing)-"A KISS" Teacher
what are you thinking of? The
name of his father was Philip" Lit
tie girl-"That's what said. Kisses
fiji lips, don't they ?'-Newman H.
dependent.
A wedding couple at Poplar Bluff,
Mo, last week, were named respect
lively GOtlieb Pail and Mrs, Jane
Bearer. There marriage was in ful
accord with the civil service rule OF
nature, the eternal fitness of things
for what could be more appropriate
than that the bridge should become
Pall-Dearer at the funeral of her
widowhood ?-Breckenridge News.
Our State exchanges contain ru-
mors seriously comprising the char
acter Of the wheat crop, but they can
not be traced to any responsible
source, as the Commissioner of Ag
riculture is detained in New Orleans,
where he is engaged, with Commits
sioner Fry Lawrence, in a fruitless
search for string with which to tie
that game rooster.-Lou. Times.
A man and his fri, nd named
Lockwood, entered an oyster saloon,
and as they sat down, the man sal |
to the waiter: "Pard, stew for me
and raw for Lockwood" A third
party at the table, little bit under
the ''influence," and hearing only the
last Of the order, yelled out: "What
tlIer devil yer rahin for Lockwood
for; wy don't yer rah for Clevelan?'
Richmond Register.