davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10
KATE.

There's something in the name of Kate
Which many will condemn; ..sT
But listen now while l relate --.-.
The traits of some of them. .,..-..-
There's deli-Kate, q modest dame,
And worthy of your love;
She's nice and beautiful in frame,
AS gentle as dove. trtT
Communicates intelligent,
So we may well suppose;
Her fruitful mind is ever bent
On telling what she knows.
There's intri-Kate, she's so obscure,
IT'S hard to find her out;
For she is often very sure
To put your wits to rout
Prevari- Hates a tricky maid,
She's sure to have her way
The cayiling, contrary jade, .7---,.-a.
Objects to all you say.
There's ater-Kate perfect pest,
Much given to dispute. .....,.
Her prattling tongue can never resi-;
You cannot her refutex s
There's dislo-Kate in quite fret,
Who fails TO gain her point; ---.1. - /.
Her case is quite unfortunate,
And sorely out of joint.
Equivo- Kate no one will WOO, ,..t. b,
The thing would be absurd;
She is so fatthless and untrue,
You cannot take her word. s.a..-,g z.tl
There's vindi-Kate, she's good and true,
And strives with all her might
Her duty faithfully TO do,
And battles for the light. ....r,. l-.5-.
There's rusti-Kate, a country lass
Quite fond of rural scenes, .-9t.s 1fff j.
She likes to ramble through the grass
And through the evergreens.
Ofall the maiGens you can find
There's none like ,du-Kate; -,
Because she educates the mind .,..a-l l..
And aims at something great. tl
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10
uousE CLEANING.

81
Taking down the pictures,
busting off the wall. $3.50
s.sNot at home this morning,
Should there be CALL"
Toast and eggs for breakfast,
Things turned upside down;
B. Wife and girl a.jawing, s-sr
Husband skips for town. ~ ...a
Taking up the carpets, ..
Tacks and dust for lunch;
Boy. for asking questions, .,i...
Gets from me punch. .... -
Washing off the windows,
Doors all open-wide-
She with pail and dust-pan
Used to be my bride.
No fire in the furnace ......
Bell goes on ring -.. I'D.
CLEANING house to-day, mum,
First day of the spring"
Night! a doctor calling
Wife done up in bed; -u- T.;
Husbands scoots for drugstore;
Clerk asks who is dead. ....-5
Night reporters item;
Coroner had a ring
For a "stiff' found floating
First one Of the spring.
Verdict of the jury-i--.- -'-'
Foreman sly old mouse '
Suicide from torment
y Caused by cleaning house, +
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

'sYou are arrested" remarked the judge
to the tramp, "for stealing an accordion
Are you guilty ?'' sYes, your honor, I
must admit the CHARGE "Did you steal
it to play on it ?' did not" replied the
prisoner, in hurt tone of voice. 'I hope
your honor does not take me for musician"
-Nep York Graphic. - zasf+'i i'sn-e'..
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10
A Case that was Pronounced In
durable,

Miss c. c. Peck, ia Jackson street,
Milwaukee, Wis, writes DR.. S. b.
HARTMAN & Co.-Gentlemen | take
great pleasure in stating to you the beneht
/ received from your valuable PERUNA.
/ have been suffering for about fifteen
years with a severe cough and bronchitis
$50 the doctors call it). l was treated by
different physicians, and spent consldera-
bic money for different kinds of patent
medicines, but received no benefit what
ever. DR.. Fox, of this city, claimed |
had consumption, and there was no hope
for me ever getting better. was SO bad
that l coughed almost continually. Mrs.
Henry Ellis, friend Of mine, induced
me to try your PERUNA. l am happy
to say I began to notice change after l
had taken my second bottle. l took
eight bottles in all, and now feel like a
new woman. If it hadn't been for Pc
KUNA l think l would be in my grave
now. 1t is wonderful remedy, and
recommend it to all my friends"
Messrs. Baker Bros, Mt. Vernon, O.,
write: Y our PERUNA sells well. Gus
toners speak of it as being good medi-
cine.a a.5,.,t -
Mi Daniel r. Spry, Portsmouth, O.,
writes: 81 have good trade in PERUNA.
1t sells well and gives satisfaction"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10
"Why comes not my lover to me ?'' walls
a poetess in Chicago paper. Ten to one
he's at the skating rink with another girl.
Cheer Up! Help is at Hand.

81 am afraid will have to be taken to
hospital or to the poorhouse I've been
sick SO long that my husband, good and pa
tient as he is, can't stand the worry and
expense much longer" No, you won't,
dear wife and mother. See what Parker S
Tonic, will do for you. Plenty of women
as badly off as you are, have been rescued
almost from the grave by it. 1t will build
you up, curing all ailments of the stomach,
liver, and kidneys, and is simple, pleasant,
and safe. q, 49, 80
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10
Grafafulnpss.

Mr.. H. Sampsel, Ottawa, Kansas,
writes CDR. S. B. HARTMAN s. Co.,
Columbus, O.-Gentlemen have suf-
fered for seven years have tried every
thing and many physicians, and all have
failed. l went to Pittsburgh, and while
there fell on the street, my breath seemed
to leave my lungs, and numbness over
power me. determined to give PERUNA
and MANALIN a fair trial. used four bot
ties of each, and my trouble left, never,
hope, to return. left Pittsburgh three
weeks ago for Kansas, and thought, as l
was going to new country, l had better
take bottle of MANALIN with me, on
account of bad water, ETC. arrived
here with one-half bottle. l found one
of my friends in pretty bad condition.
The doctors were treating her for chilis
and fever. I did not know what her
trouble was, though 1 persuaded her to
use the MANALIN. She did so, and the
first day she was up doing her work.
Now this seems strange, but it is, never
theless, a candid truth She used it all,
and has never had cause to lie down
during the day since she took the first
three doses"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

A little Austin boy, whose impecunious
parents are always moving from one house
to another, was asked by the Sunday school
teacher: "Why did the Israelites move out
of Egypt ?" s'Because they couldn't pay
their rent, reckon. "-Terds Sjtings. ~
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10
-HARMAN'S COAL YARD,

At intersection of B. & o. and G. & o. R. r.
Being now prepared to supply customers
with tn q very best of Goals. COKE, WOOD. and
FERTILIZERS, respectfully solicit share of
the public patronage. My yards are located at
the Intersection of the c. & o. and B. G. o. Rail-
roads. thus enabling me to take advantage of
competition in freights, and placing me in di-
rect communication with the ooa-fields of
West Virginia and Pennsylvania.
Coal Delivered at any point in the City
without extra charge,
Iguarantee satisfaction in prices and quail
ty. Orders left with Balie & Woodward. West
Main Street, will receive prompt attention.
Respectfully,
A. W. HARTMAN.
Telephone connection No. II. apis
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

she-''Golng to the reception ?" He
"No." She-"Why not?" He-"No
Clothes" She-"Neither have l." He
"Well, you can go that way; can't. .
Puck. F-r
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

The Texan editor and father who penned
the following paragraph must have had a
tough time: ''If in proportion to size man
could holler as loud as a baby, there would
be no telephones needed in this country"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

''Don't be afraid" said q snob to d Ger
man laborer. s'Sit down and make your
self my equal" 81 would half to blow my
brains out" was the reply of the Teuton.-
Yonkers Statesman.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

An Alabama negro was heard to solilo-
quize philosophically: ode sun am so hot,
de cotton am SO grassy, de work am so hard,
dat dis darky feel called upon to preach. !"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

The Boston girl never says: "Don't you
forget it." She merely remarks: ''Pray
allow not the remembrance of this circum-
stance to be relocated to oblivion -
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

VINEYARDS SAVED BY EARTHQUAKES.
That earthquakes exert destructive infu-
ence on the phylloxera insect of the grape
is the opinion of S. Villalongue, who has
told the Paris Academy Of sciences of a
vineyard near Malaga which had apparent
ly been destroyed by the parasite but which
vigorously burst into leaf after the recent
earthquakes in southern Spain.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

GENEALoGY AND GRIEF.-[P Paris Paper. !
eyes, brethren says the clergyman who
is preaching the funeral sermon, ''our de-
ceased brother was cut down in a single
night-torn from the arms of his loving wife,
who is thus left disoonsolate widow at the
early age of "a"
twenty-five, if you please" sobs the
widow, in the front pew, emerging from her
handkerchief for an instant. -. h lii1da.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

"-------- -
E'Been to Washingtonq' eyes" "see
Cleveland ?" eyes" "Did he point you ?"
eyes" What top "Door. "-Brooklm
Times it=-s- .-ltt...-
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

A little Austin boy, whose impecunious
parents are always moving from one house
to another, was asked by the Sunday
school teacher "Why did the Israelites
move out Of Egypt9" Because thew
couldn pay their rent, reckon" Teras
,Siftinqs. tir. i"'7h ia-7 eh rna i's''f8
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

ALL MADE FROM WATER. 81 see you are
building new house, Mr.. Brown ~
eyes, you are right" .'iipe' p.
"Made the money out of whiskey, sup
pose ?" ,.....-.
"No" . ...'. 49,. -.....- ...., F.,
"Why, you are liquor dealer, are you
not?'' ,atd 'i .'.7l
"Oh, yes; but the money Pm getting in
to this house was made out of the water |
put in the whisl1ey Every cent was made
out of water, sir. ''-Arkdnsaw Traveller.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

Hunts Remedy purifies the blood by as
sisting the kidneys to carry off all impuri-
ties. -..l
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

EWES AND LAMBs.--A sheep is naturally
very timid, and when she feels the pains of
parturition coming on she seems to be more
SO, and will not yield to them so long as
any person is in sight. They should always
be let alone SO long as things are all right,
ard not disturbed until the eve gets up and
commences to lick the lamb, and not then,
unless it is necessary to move her to some
other place. If the lamb is strong and &C
tually sucks, no more care is necessary, but
it is best to know that the eve has milk,
and that it has gone into the stomach of
the lamb. Sometimes eve is so much
exhausted that she cannot rise for some
time, and then she is quite likely not to
own her lamb. A eve thin in flesh should
be kept by herself before lambing, and fed
to give her strength. This is easier than
worrying and fussipg over a lamb after
ward, without mother or milk. 1t is help
to tho lamb to find the teat to cut away
the wool on and about the udder, so that
the teats are clear from bags of wool, and
also cleaner than they otherwise would be-
NIerino sheep are often so closely wooded
about the eyes as to be nearly blind. The
wool should be cut away so that the eye is
clear from these distinctions. This will
make the sheep less timid, and enable d
eve to see her lamb and to be more likely
TO own it. . .,-... ...f .4 .- ,f---' .-i.f p
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

Be content with your lot, especially if it's
a lot of money.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

fsOAL. COKE, weep, AND FERTILE
u -ls - XEfsS.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

A remarkable specimen lately exhibited
to the London Geological Society was Bra
lillian snake which had partly swallowed a
live lizard. The lizard had nearly succeed
ed in eating its way out, through the body
Of the snake, when death overlook both
creatures lr
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

The salts of sea water, according to Prof.
w. G. Williamson, F. r. s., are rendered
inert by the addition of citrate of silver, an
ounce of that substance converting half a
pint of sea water into drinkable fluid. 1t
is proposed to pack citrate of silver in the
life boats of oceaa- going vessels, for use in
case of need --e4r s0f .aveff s8arIEE3
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

Dnring all seasons of the year, it is said,
the earth at Yakutsh, Siberia, is frozen
from the depth Ct fifty feet to that of about
1000 feet. 7,5 eerf ls,s-,, reqa ,,essy
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

A PHOTOGRAPH OF THE NORTHERN
LIGHTs.-Prof Tromholt, in Norway, has
met with partial success in photographing
the aurora borealis, feat which his many
failures had led him to pronounce impossi-
BILE. After exposing plate for eight and a
half minutes he secured negative of an
aurora, but the impression is so very faint
that it cannot be reproduced as a positive.
Small pox was accurately described by
Rhazes, an Arabian physician, about 900
A. D. 1t is supposed to have been intro
duced into Europe by the Saracens, and it
was spread widely among the Indians by
the early explorers of America.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

RATN AND FERTILIZER DRILLS
" Now is the time to buy at BARGAIN to
sow your Oats and plant your Corn. Call on
apr22 LYNN Il co.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

The annual meeting of the American As
ISOLATION for the advancement of science
will open on August Goth, at Ann Arbor,
Mich, continuing one week. The British
Associations meeting will be held at Aber-
deem, Scotland, commencing September
9th. s.t .-,.s9 i, +.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-10

A REMARKABLE PRoDUcT. seeds of
the Kola tree, the highly priced stimulant
of tie natives of Africa, appear to possess
qualities which shonld give them COM
mercial value in civilized countries. Mr.. T..
Christie, an English writer on new CONNER
cial plants and drugs asserts that chocolate
made with Kola paste is ten timcs..as nutri-
tious as that made with cocoa, and that a
laborer can work all day without fatigue on
single cup taken at breakfast time.
New-York tribune., 1885-02-06
SENATOR MORRILL, on SILVER.

Senator Morrilps speech on the bill for the
suspension of silver coinage meritcd especial
attention. He showed cOnclusively that the
failure of the silver dollars to circulate more
largely was not due to the Treasury Depart
mcnt, and that there Is real danger that gold
may. without warning, speedily disappear from
circulation, with most disastrous results to in
dustry and trade.
lie points out that the silver certificates con-
stitute "by far the most expensive paper cur
rency ever invented" ~ well as the most dan
gerous, and that the financial world, always
"tlmid when there Is a skeleton in the closet"
has for some years been shrinking from new
enterprises, and boarding money or employing
il only In loans on call or Oh short time. He
argues also, with great clearness and force. that
any disaster resulting from depreciation of the
currency must fall more heavily upon the
labOring men than upon any other classes In
the community. Ho urged the pass age Of the
measure reported by the committee rs the best
which Congress could be expected to adopt Mt
this session. There is no reason to dispute the
Judgment of the Senator or Of the committee on
this matter and If no better thing can be done,
the Senate should at least open the door for
future relief from the evils Of excessive coinage
If possible.
New-York tribune., 1885-02-06
--aH
A a50O.0OO,OOO SPREE.

aTbere is nowhere any agitation for free
trade" says The Buffalo Courier. What con-
ceyable use Is there in such "a palpnble untruth,
after the election Here are sundry documents
which arc at this time extensively circulated IN
BROOKLYN. Ono of them is speech OF Repre-
sentative Wood, of Indiana, delivered last
April, which says that the people "want
Joshua TO lead them out of bondage and over
the sea, when protection will be swallowed up
forever" afflrms that any protective tariff is
unconstitutional, and is crowded with the usual
untruths of the utra-free- traders. What do
folks distribute such stuff for, at this time I'D
the year, If anobody is agitatins for free
trade"f
Next. here is q aPrimer " by Mr.. David A.
Wells, which declares. on its first page, that
{" free trade Is the denial of the right OF free
aGovernment to arbitrarily take from any per-
"son any portion of the product OF his labor for
"the benefit of some other man." alirms that
protection involves the principle of slavery
and ON mage 20 asserts that if wo had perfect
free trade not more than so worth in Sloo
of our agricultural products could possibly DC
imported" What do people distribute this kihd
of teaching for Any man who knows what
the word "agitation means Is invited to form
his own opinion whether The Babdto Courier Is
telling the truth.
The apostles of free trade are immeasurably
encouraged by the victory achieved under
false pretences In November. Now they arc as
busy as bees, trying to make il appear that the
victory was their work. and that they must be
obeyed in legislation, or the Democratic party
will never succeed again. Whether the party
al
thing, on the tariff or any other veAed question,
remains to be seen. But one thing Is certain.
agitation for free trade, from the beginning to
the end of a Presidential or Congressional term,
il the inevitable consequence of electiDg n
Democratic President or Democratic Con-
gress The effects of that agitation working
men know to their sorrow.
The certainty that there Is going to be sucb
agitation has closed more factories already, and
caused more sudden and greater reduction In
wages. than any commercial panic or disaster
the country has seen for quarter of a century.
Neither in 1868 nor In 1873, nor In any OF the
irving years which followed those, were there
three successive months In which as great n
change In the condition Of labor took place as
has already followed the election OF Mr. Glove
land. According to reports OF commercial
agencies, the average reduction In the wages OF
labor has been at least 10 per cent. III that IL
true what In the cost of Democratic victory1
The 1000, 600 workers in this country earned
last wear about $3.50 each. A reduction Of 10
per ce mt means difference OF S73l, 900 In
single year. In that light, "A Democratic
victory seems to be quite "A costly spree. Per-
haps the estimate of the agencies is too large;
the reduction, as respects all labor, may not
have averaged 30 much as 10 per cent. But at
any possible estimate, the spree appears
snflicienflY costly.
New-York tribune., 1885-02-06
THE POOI 4 F1ILTRE.

Mr. Fink acknowledges. with natural regret,
his failure to make the pooling system sue
cessful. His retirement from the position he
has held so long and so honorably would be
generally regarded as conclusive evidence that,
at least In the present state of railway manage
ment and competition, the system must be con-
sidered q failure. Certainly no other man can
be expected to bring to that work more ability.
tact, and energy than Mr.. Fink, or more re-
markable power TO inspire confidence In his
impartiality.
But the task he undertook was that of Sisy-
phus. The more prosperous he made the trunk
lines, the more rival roads were sure to be
built, and these rival roads were sure, sooner
or later to destroy the prosperity of the trunk
lines in their strife to secure business. When
the pool was first organized The TRIBUNE
pointed out these facts. but many people re-
fused to consider them.
New-York tribune., 1885-02-06

and to the Confederate cause, command tho
sympathies of his party in the House.
The Senate has done well In this as in
some other matters, having submitted
practical and judicious measure In place
of one distinguished for fanatlcal
foolishness which the House had passed.
Tho Reagan bill would have been most
mischieyous in effect and 1t ought to have
beon beaten, even though there had been no
opportunity to substitute wiser plan to attain
the ends desired. But the Senate has been able
not only to stop tho passage of bill that would
have done harm, but to place before the House
and the country measure embracing many ex'
ccllent features and promising good results
The responsibility will not rest with the Senate
If this and other excellent measures fail to be
a1nnted
New-York tribune., 1885-02-06
IF THE PEOPLE COULD ONLY vorE OMIT

IF THE PEOPLE COULD ONLY VOTE OMIT
The Democrats of the Illinois Legislature
have made a practical and easily understood in
terpretation of their party platform by nomi-
mating Colonel Morrison for United States Sem
ator. Against this rough shod free trader tho
Republicans will undoubtedly put General
Logan, whose enlightened views In favor of a
protective tariff are thoroughly understood by
the country.
For the sake of the great industrial interests
of the State Of Illinois, 1t is pity that the
question thus clearly defined cannot be settled
by direct appeal to the will of the people,
Any one of dozen trihing causes can deter
mine the matter on q Legislative ballot, with
out even @ remote connection with the issue
involved. II deal, or o trick, or o promise
New-York tribune., 1885-02-06
relating to the stamping of canned goods Will
probably remove many valid objections which
manufacturers have hitherto urged againstlt IL.

Residents IN Pittsburg believe that there is q
prospect of trouble in their city owing 10
Socialistic influences among unemployed WORK
ingmen. The Pittsburg people certainly ought
to know best what dangers threaten them Du1
at this distance 1t does not seem likely tha'
anything unpleasant will happen. There are
great many sensible men among the laboring
classes at Pittsburg as elsewhere and while
they talk wildly about their grievances at
times, they have too much inherent respect lot
the law to let demagogues lead them to vio-
lence. Moreover the officers of the powerful
trades unions having headquarters at Pttsburg
know too we'll what the consequences of an
outbreak would be, and they will always
throw their influence against 1t. But
forewarned is forearmed; the authorities at
Pittsburg, with the railroad riots in mind,
should be ready to act promptly when any dis
order occurs.