davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Ms A 81 Danphin IS 1850 Ridge Ava
Philadelphia. wall lnown % the ladies' q
lhnt city from the CREST god she be- done ~
nioans II Lydia 81 Plnkhams Vegetable
Compound sis writes Mrs. pinkham * :
recent inter ting cnsa 4 young married
lady Camu - me suffering wish i severe case
q Prolaps.Is nad Uiceratioa she commelicel
taking tie Compound M Ii tss,s months was
failu restored In proof 6f tbs she soon
found herself ii an Interesting condition In.
iluenced ~ foolish friends sho attempted %
evade the responsibilities cf maternity AFTER
Ten o twelve days she came t. ma again and
she was indeed in q most alarming stats and
suffered terribly. gave her tablespoonful
q tho compound every hour for eight hours
until she feel asleep, saeawoke much relieved
and evidently better She continued taking
the Compound, and IN due season she became
tla mother Of i line healthy boy. But for the
timely use Of the medicine she believes her
life would have bean lost Z
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

II has been said. but, when woman i
dragged down, emaciated, wan, and q
shadow fOf her former self, with never d
cheerful word, she can be no longer beauti.
full or l0vnble. Nature may have been gener,
pus Ia her gifts, and endowed her with all
the charms OF her sex, but disease has crepl
in unawares and stolen thes roses from hen
cheeks, the lustre from her eye, and the sun
shine from her heart. But TO be well again
lies In your own power Take Or. Pierces
"Favorite PresriDtion.n il viii cure YOU
thousands have been cured by it. Nothing
squalls it for all the painful maIndies and
weaknesses peculiar 60 women Price re
duced to one dollar. BY druggists
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

When those Filters Of the System, tho
Kidneys. fail to perform their functions
properly, DR.. ]. WALKER's CALIFoRNTA
VrNEoAR BrTTERs viii restore their nat
ural action. and prevent the progress Of
the disease to q fatal issue. In one week
after commencing q course Of Dir.
WALKER's VINEGAR BITrERs You will
feel like new creature.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

MENsMAN's PEPToNEzED BEEF TONIC. che only
preparation Object containingits entire nMtri-
ttOats properties. It contains matchmaking
force generating and life-sustaining properties:
Invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous
also, 10 al enfeebled conditions, whether the
result OF exhaustion, nervous prostration over
work or acute disease, particularly IL resulting
from pulmonary complaints. Caswell, Hazard &
Co, ProDrietors, New York. Soldby druggists.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

The Ma.It..saf caara'A <ahs
4 one 4 Is
Windows
Looking ca che woodland
clumps q observation-disclosures enu
May bl0ssomslll .Alpre wa e
'i Il included ono WHO hua heen
spinner h1l WIS now -
mat Sc cOuld only bear . llein
position.
Was Attacked twelve years $50
"a parslyllc disoaso ii nerve Ah
ANA was Cor several guara barely a
about
And Tor the Inst Five years not 4e|s
tend 10 my business although
MANY things have beon done 1of t
Tho last exnerllnenk heing Nerve stEe
Two wears an0 was vu1tl into tNa
Home for Incurahlcs. Near MancH
lam IS Advocate: ForanyAllin
shape IT patent Medicines.
and madc many objections 50 M
wifcN constant uryslng CO try Hop Hstle
finally 81 pacify her.
ConsmEcdll
had not quite finished tho 1lrsI pAtSa#
/ I felt change come over me This
urlay, November 81 On sunday nssA
felt 50 strong ! said 70 my r0oia coiNI
81 was sure / could
ssWalkl
So started across tho floor and buck
hardly knew how 20 contain myself
nh over Che house. / ann gaining
each day. and can walk quite safe y NNNt
'.Stickr
Or Support
am now nt my own house, and hops
10 be able 10 earn my own living NN
have been a nloinber of tho Manche91ef
Royal Exchange
For nearly thirty years. and WA
heartily congratulated 0n going into tsa
ON Thursday last Very gratefully ven
JomN hLACkHN
MANCHESTER (Eng.l Dec. ~, 19s3
Two years later am perfectly wen
a None genuine withouta buncnok 81
| Hons ON the white label Shun ali tAe
poisonous stuff with Hop o. h0E
their name.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Did yonereF notice woman II 1 hsrry (
She goes along decorously for ! little
time. Suddenly she makes squirt, runs
about twenty yards. slows down painting.
and If y0n Just watch the man walking
leisurely On the other side 81 The street
you will find he'll get Is The corner of the
block before she does, and she Is ont IL
breath at that
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03
,amap0,rslngt.I

when ysn visit leave New York city. fevs baggagc
exureasne and s. carriage hire and stop a. the Grand
Union Hotel opposite Grand Central Depot
40 elegant rooms. fitted ny ne cost 81 0na nMaI0n
dollars 81 and upward per dag. European plan. hle-
Vnl0r. Restaurants supplied with the best. Horse cars
stages and elevated railroad 20 oil d0pOts. Families
can Hive hetaar FOR less money at the GRAND Union
tiasei than e other tciass hotel 10 the city
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

When death was hourly expected from Con-
sumption, all remedies having failed and DR..
II. James was experimenting, he accidentally
made q preparation OF Indian Hemp, which
surod his only child, and now gives this recipe
On receipt Of stamps 60 pay expenses Hemp
also cures night sweats, nausea At the st0m-
ach, and will break fresh cold In - hourA
Address Craddock 81 Co, 1882 Race street,
Philadelphia, Pa, naming this paper.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

$3.50 A disease Of so delicate q nature as
structure Of 1.-THE urethra should only be en-
trusted to those Of large experience and skill
By our improved methods we have been on.
abled 20 speedily and permanently cure hun-
dreds Of the worst cases. Pamphlet, refer
ences and terms, three letter stamps Worlds
Dispensary Medical Association, G63 Main
street Buffalo. ~ "
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

The great diaphoretic and anodyne, for
rolds, fevers and inhammatory ATTACKS, il
DR.. Pierce's Compound Extract Of Smart
Weed; also, cures collie, cramps, cholera NOR
bus, diarrhma and dysentery, or bloody-iiux.
Only so cents
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Wcigh not 80 much what men assert.
as what they prove; remember that truth
Is simple and naked, and needs not inven-
ton to apparel her COMBINES.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Singing, irritation, Inflammation, all Kid
and Urinary Complaints, cured by "Buchu-
Palba." 81.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Correots offensive orders at once. Complete
cure of worst chronic cases, also uneaualed
as gargle for Diptheria, Sore Throat. Foul
Breath 6Oc.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

oranberries Will cure dyspepsia. That's
sour opinion.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03
Catarrh % Ihe Bladder.

Bear trapping ia still profitable calling
In Clarke county, Ga.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Rough on Rats clears them out, also Bee
ties, Ants, Insects, Rats u Mice. I5&25c. boxes.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

IL afflicted with sore eyes useDr. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water Druggists sell it 25c
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Gorions klng or Pain relieves pain 81 whatever ma
ture' the noEnenf ft Is applied and Il household
remedy wherever known for rheumatism, Neural
GA, Headache and T0othachr. Burns and Scaids,
Sprnlns and BRUISES Diarrhopa Dysontery, Som
Ihroaf. Ulcers, Fresh Wounds. etc Burns win not
blister II applied and Bruises will heal in ay that
would require week by any other method. The
remedy II furnished IN powder, with lnbels etc. and
= sent by NAH, postage paid IL Il put M in alr ~
ana ~ paekages The 5ns &C trial package. when
reduced 70 ltnid form, VIII MI q 2oz- bottles which
are worth At retail 81 Agents can coin money sell.
ng Is Il q worth tea times its cost for burns alone
send postal notes two cent stamps. Address
= g. RICHARDS. sole Proprietor, Toledo Ohio.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

= AlNNN EKNNss ~ III - = =
Eotnn cen Years AGO ! HAD &ofaxAIous &arn - M1
x5at han6 and Mf&h an CAS- &inn 6KeatmNnA lt AAAAa4
-. ~ AH1rrt 81s4. ID breAe ont ~ mN tAEonh amt
18afa1 caurez ralihE la1unHA ~ cheek -
sie tlls "a ms l& Ns4ek hae ana np 81 1e les ela
KsnhEuAn&a AlanA sud 80 tonAme gAa 81 f~r NNA4
NneI1 na4 talk On Fetnaf 1irnt. ISL &eon1laNneeu
taking 1Nal4 Specific ia mgnlh the eatlnE pleces
h&ntiuR and the 49Atlut NNef
farn IN ta$ chess hiss hNe eaaspd and fE knitkNd ~
fleE uew nnsier lp s pnsErrsNlsANs ard e ssens
tzat t4atHFe IS eaf,rg new tongue, cen tax ~
that MS &Fieuaa f6adilg understand me- and can
also pa& solid food nnasn would refer Hon John
mrs MAkR 4. COMER
EMfs2AnRe. ca. HAY ~ 1874
Treatise an fsfuod and skin Diseases malled free.
TIE 6wlEsI SpECIFxc Co Drawer & Atlanta. Ga,
II. n. - w. &0S
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Children, slow in development, puny, scrawn,
and delicate, use Wells Health Renewer.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

Host stem.
sch liilfers as 3 spe.
,cihc for inllla ion.
"A nfla alone. Fm
Itha RS ufcps 81 the
pharlnocunolla have
llueal eAllanate3 SAitsa
ont. a. least doing
fllorn tlian inili ating
tife con plant y
casaFa Of this hole
som6 8&o1n q . Il ! q
effects 3 perfect and
permanent cure. In
al cases % dlyHgs issiA
the liver II more sr
less disofxlerod. and
nIoi this important
Gland tlle Biltera act
with regular distinct
ness, regulating and
ingiRoraling every aes
crutfse and aainEila
ting organ on which
bodily and mental
haailh depend. For
sale hy oil Druggists
ard Dealers generally
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

A Galley Slave"--A. proofreader on
funny paper.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

The milk Of human kindness should
oe condensed, not watered
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

hAk M IN fesstured 10 ygOr ana manhood BY the
Howard Gsatvumic s<hkcld aud ssmwpemsOry
y combined. Pamphlet free with P0arTlvE pIEoOF.
american Galvanic CO.. lbs Chestnut Sd. Pbia. Pa.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

ARm RRWR ~ &aV as A&O a f1A MATE wll
81" MANk ~ outfits TOR manufacturing Stnncils'
Mk#tM&M key Checks aud Rubber STAMPS
c IS Msagd asss. = y spISSER
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03
TON S S 'gSss TOOTH WIDER

AeepsN8 As9t1 EerAec1 ans eegl.g hgaAa1ys
49, - month sealary OF eonmisaionl Il
- aRcnts for TIM WORLDS WON
~ @H nERS. Write for full partfcuinrs.
HISTORICAL. PUB. CO., Phila.. Ra.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-03

a-yg- None genuine wlthouta bunchok
Hons ON the white label Shun ali IN
poisonous stuff with Hop Or h0E
their name.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-07-11

throte an sez, LESS go look at the Gin
ruls karrige.' So l keeps up wild EN-,
an gret day. 'Tarn't nothing but a
ole yarller hack which Miss Louie
wouldn't a toch her foot to it Pres
ney de man say how he could bow
down fore it.; so say to myself, EFF
he dat big fool, he mout be fool nuf
to 60 dout his dinner, so 1 goes off.
Jess as I was leffen EN-, a man cum up
vid black specktickles on, an string
Eangin over his noze, an little ritin
book in his hand. He look right hard
at me an he say to nudder man, "Here
are a fine specimen ov de Gypsum
mummy!' 'Reckly he say dat de crowd
gin to po roun me and stare at me, tell
de har riz up all over my he'd, an 1
could no mo spoke an could a flew,
an one of EN- sez, 'Oh is dis de num-
my2 Dey tell me she's ober two thou
zin year ole i Gret day in de mornin
/ were dat skeered de cole chills pode
down my back an took out While 1
wose runin sez to man, 'How you
git out O. here p 'Fru de gate,' sez he,
like I didn't know dat, eff 1 knowed
whar de gate wor. Lor dem Filly-
devils amt got no manners an a fuss
class Virginny dorg
Well, | run to place whar dey call
ed it gate; kind O. cage dat turns
roun, and went de wrong way an it
bul me spang in de eye, an man say
Look sharp! push on!' Den de piece
O. gate behind me gimme shuv in de
back, an looked roun to see who done
it COS l knowed l had'n done nothin
to nobody, an 1 see no people gittin
caught in de same trap, and here de
man say Hurry up hurry up!' an de
thing gimme nudder shuv, an good
lord fore l know'd whar war war
landed out in de street long O. hosses,
an omlibusses, an folks, an kyars, an
ole critters sellin apples, an sassy little
boys dat it warnt morn twelve year
sence day was born, an dey was fifty in
how dey looked, and hundred in what
dey knowed; an some on em was pokin
gokes at you, and some had papers on
der arms an was hollering bout de
Ladies patches!' Gll-mannered things y
an great big men wuz sellin little bit O.
buckets, an baiggin you ter buy lether
strops, an you amt got no manner O.
use for EN-; an tryin ter sell you sops,
which you did'n want no top, an evry
body a pushin, an a crowdin, an a
hurryin, an mixin up wild de horses an
de omnibusses, an de street kyars an
jes barly not gittin knocked down, while
dey was trying ter keep from being run
over Yes chile! You is plntely get
ter look sharp an hurry up an
push on in FiIlydelfy.
No honey! Don't talk to me bout no
mo sentenyul
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-07-11
The Horses Back.
Farm and Field.

The back of horse is strong and
we'll supported. 1t is the arch of a
bridge, which, forms its structure, can
bear weight placed upon it, whereas an
inverted arch would fall to pieces, or
would withstand far less pressure. 1t
has been observed that low-backed or
rather hollow backed horses, working
in harness kept their condition, while
those with high backs lost flesh. Per-
sons of not very inquiring or observant
dispositions would probably attribute
this to the fact that the former were of
more hardy constitution than the latter
but this would be false conclusion.
1t is owing entirely to the curvature of
the back, for horse which can draw a
weight was least able to bear weight
upon its back, while the horse unable
to bear the strain or draft could bear
the other any day in carrying weight.
The line of the vertebre indicates the
sort of work for which the horse is fit
ted. If it is high the weight must be
on the top to press it together; if low,
the pressure must be from below for the
same reason. A downward curvature
is therefore, the best form of spine for
draft horse.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-07-11
Five Thousand Dollars a Pound.

Bill Arp says: "As general thing
the girls show too much anxiety to
marry. They are too sweet on the
boys. They ought to stand off and
look reserved and precious, and put on
Jerusalem airs and say: "Young man,
you don't know who you are fooling
with I'm treasure 1 am; weigh
us pounds, and am worth $1,000 a
pound" Well they are.
A good, nice, healthy girl, who can
make her own dress, and can get up a
good supper for company and is not
ashamed to wait on the table while they
are eating is just worth about 81, 900 a
pound. But that is nothing compared
to what they will be worth. Why Mrs.
Arp has cut out and made up at least
1000 garments of one sort and another.
She has sewed soc, 900 stitches, and
patched and darned and washed faces
and combed hair innumerable." "
She has tied up 500 sore toes and cut
fingers and burns and bruises and kiss
ed away a thousand tears. She has
watched them by night and day, and
keeps on watching; and right now,
while am writing on my piazza, she is
looking away up the big road, and
says: 81 am afraid something will hap
pen to them boys; they are too little
to 60 on by themselves.
There are two little nephews here
just out school, and they and Carl have
all got a horse or a colt apiece, and
have gone off on a 'scursion,' and
call 'em the infantry, and tell Mrs.
Arp it is all right; but she sits here
sewing with specks on, and ever and
anon she looks up the road, and says :
'Those children have overstayed their
time. I'm afraid something has hap
pened.
If they don't come apace soon,
know that l will have to start after
them, for that is always the way.
Mrs. Arp is worth at least $4,000 a
pound, and she weighs right smart and
keeps getting heavier. am rich, l
am. 1 feel wealthy when l look at
her."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-07-11
Fifty Dollars for a Kiss.

A writer in the Philadelphia Press
says: A good story was told of Booth
when he was here last, which illustrates
his indifference to the class of women
who always find something irresistible
and fascinating in the men who earn
their livings behind the footlights.
Booth was travelling on the Boston and
Albany Road one day, having just
closed an engagement in the New Eng
land metropolis. He heard an expen-
sively dressed, handsome, middleaged
woman back of him sigh and say to her
companion, Il would give $50 to kiss
that man. Booth turned suddenly
and looked at the speaker. do you
mean that?' he demanded, fixing his
fine dark eyes upon her and causing
the blood to mount up to the very roots
of her hair.
'Why, yes of course, do replied
the woman confusedly, looking in a
helpless sort of way at the great ira
gedian and at the smiling passengers.
well, I accept the terms, madame ,
exclaimed Booth, solemnly.
'And l stand by my proposition
said the woman, recovering her self-pos-
session, and rising, she imprinted a
sound kiss upon the actors lips.
Booths face did not betray the slight
est emotion. He received the kiss sto-
Idly and did not return it, but waited
till the impetuous woman found her
purse and handed him over fifty dol
lar bill. He took the money, thanked
her, and turning to feeble, shabbily
dressed woman on the other side of the
aisle, who was travelling with two young
children, placed the money in her
hands, and, with courteous bow, said !:
'This is for the children, madame.
Take it please and without another
word he left the car.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-07-11

n Cause for Rejoicing An,Ofg the WeaH and
DebititGted.
A PUBLIC WANT FILLED AT LAST!
SCHROEDER'S
IRON TONIC AND BLOOD PURIFIER.
The only Iron in solution without Orydation trust
ing.) Entirely free from alcohol. Not injuri-
Gus. The best in the world. Price so cts.
at Druggists and Country Stores.
DEPoT-1O3 HANOVER ST., BALTIMORE.
HOME TESTIMONIALS
Mrs. Annie M. Shirley, of Harrisonville, Balti-
more county, Nd, writes: ~ was troubled with
indigestion and after using Schroeder's Iron Tonic
il gave me great relief. l think it an excellent
medicine in a family"
Susan Ann Gosnell, of Harrisonville, writes =
'I was very weak and feeble during the hot
weather, and took bottle of Schroeder's Iron
Tonic and Blood Purifier, which strengthened mo
greatly and gave me good appetite"
Mrs. L. st. Leon, of SO st. Paul street, Balti-
more, writes that Schroeder's Iron Tonic has en-
tirey relieved her of nervous debility and weak
ness.
A REMARKABLE CURE.-I was suffering with a
cough and pain in my side for the past two years
and grew extremely weak. During that time l
had several physicians attending me, but deriving
no benefit from their treatment. They pronounced
my disease consumption. I concluded to try
Schroeder's Iron Tonic, not expecting it to cure
me, but merely using it an appetizer and tonic.
After using three bottles I was entirely cured of
my disease and feel stronger than have for the
past eight years. F. PFAMMILLER,
346 W. Pratt street, Baltimore.
Oct.11tJuly19,'s5.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-07-11

"Carp," in an interesting sketch of
the late John w. Garrett, says of the
extraordinary attachment between the
famous railroad president and his wife /:
John w. Garrett had an iron will
but his wife ruled him, although she
did it in such way that the old man
never knew it. During the forty years
of their married life the two never slept
night apart, and l think Mrs. Gar
rett's death fastened that of her hus-
band. For some years back Mr.. Gar
rett had been in bad health from over
work, and the physician had prescribed
that his meals should be regular, and
that business should not be talked at
the table. Mrs. Garrett saw that these
rules were carried out, and whenever
the lunch or dinner time arrived, if
Mr.. Garrett was in the midst of the
most important conversation on busi-
ness involving millions, with guests
whom the president would delight to
honor, she would call them to the table
and in gentle way would admit of no
refusal. Mr.. Garrett or his friend
might ask for just one minute more,
but the kind old lady would reply in
gentlest tones: "These are our rules
and Mr.. Garrett has promised that they
shall be kept" At the table it was the
same. If the guest or John w. Gar
rett would break out in some business
exclamation or suggestion Mrs. Gar
rett would at once object, and the rail-
road president at the head of the table
would laughingly call attention to the
manner in which he was domineered
over, and would begin to talk of other
subjects. Mrs. Garrett was a plain,
motherly little woman, full of quiet
charities and as thoroughly wrapped up
in her husband as he was in her. She
was posted on much of his work dur
ing her latter years he did much of his
work at home in his library with sever
al telegraph operators about him.
Many of his callers would she receive
and then dismiss without their ever
bothering him. She was seldom absent
from his room even during the most
important conversations, and she wound
herself so closely about every fibre of
the old mans nature that when she
died, about two years ago, his machin
cry did not work and he finally sue
cumbed to the loss.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-07-11
Do YOu Say ''Thanks'' or ''Thank
YOu?o
Good HoitseEeeDin1


What mechanical affair-nay, what
mean little orphan in the great fam
lily of words-is the too-often heard
monosyllable, "Thanks." Especially
does it seem so when thought of in
comparison with the pretty, pleasing
and proper expression, "Thank you"
''Thanks" cannot well be spoken with
out suggesting the idea to the one ad-
dressed that the speaker is conscious of
an occasion to be thankful for, coupled
with a desire to be considered "prop-
err" and that these are being strangled
by the belief that there is not time
enough on hand in which to say so ap-
propriately, or else not culture enough
in stock to recognize the fitness of
things by being simply polite. Thanks
is cold, careless and uncivil, and fails
in the purpose intended to be accom-
plished by its use. 1t is heartless,
meaningless and harsh to sensitive
listener, and rolls itself off the tongue
as if it was something to be got rid of
at the earliest possible momeht. THANK
you is warm, considerate and polite.
1t would be the coldest kind of a stole,
indeed, who could give the words full
expression without both the speaker
and listener getting sight of little ray
of sunshine that would otherwise have
escaped notice. Properly expressed,
they soothe and satisfy both they who
give and they who receive, and both
find little well of gladness springing
up in their hearts that had before beer
an undiscovered treasure.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-07-11

Bordered by quirky lines,
Covered with quaint designs
Tortuous trees and vines
Drawn arabesquely,
Here are grim griffins seen,
Rivers of purple sheen,
Maidens in red and green,
Smiling grotesquely.
HAPPY beyond the seas,
Under the bamboo trees,
Some jaunty Japanese
Damsel-possessed it;
HAPPY her lover, too,
When there was none to view,
(Lovers quite often do)
Kissed and caressed it.
Now tits Jeannett's and she
Waves it SO witchingly
Whene'er she strays with me
Down through the meadow,
That all my pulses stir,
Thinking of it and her
Hang it I wish it were
Back there in Yeddo!
Clinton Scollard in The Joker