Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-13
ELIPERKINS INNEW YORK
FASEIONABLES CLOSING THE
SEASON Ar FARNIHOUSES.

tho Sea-The InfidelE Story-How
John Randolph Stole n J0ke-Robsrt
Conyer'a Storx--Why He Was Demo
crst.
NEW YORK, Sept. 1.-THE recent cold
weather has driven people away from the
watering places. The fashionables Of
Saratoga, "a usual, ended up the season
| by taking a trip through the Lake George
region to Montreal and back to West
| Point where the hotels are now crowded
The ride to Montreal, along the rocky
shores of Lake Champaign, is one OF the
most charming and picturesque rides in
America. For miles the cars run over
rocky bed, from which the passengers can
look down, on one side, into the blue
Champlain, or across the lake for miles
into the Green mountains in Vermont. On
the other side are the green cedars OF the
Adirondack foothills, and beyond the
blue peaks of the Adirondacks.
The summer crowds at Newport have
gone to LenOX and Stockbridge,i in Western
! Massachusetts. where the autumn festivi-
| ties die only with the autumn leaves
| Here the amusements are tennis, coach
/ ing with the Tally-ho, and the tete cham
| Detre. Many of the big, sloping-rooted
| farmhOuses in Lenox and StOckbridge
have been fitted up by city people. The
! big chimueys OF 70 years ago are care
! fully preserved. The sides Of these old
colonial houses are usually covered with
wood shingles. This idea of living on a
farm in the autumn is "English, you
know" and, OF course, all the swells must
| do il.
! INGERsoLL's INGENIOUS ARGUMENT.
NJ I
Beach, a new watering place, established
with the money of the Harpers down on
Long Island, about % miles from the city.
| Bob WAS in swimming, and was putting
and blowing the salt water out Of his
mouth. When he came out the great in
fidel told me over again one of his best
stories:
Said he: 81 am opposed to the enforce
ment OF the old Connecticut blue laws to
make people good. l believe n man made
good by law is not really good at heart,
but is simply made to appear good. He
is legal hypocrite.
zone day" continued Mr.. Ingersoll, 81
met one of these Puritanical blue-law
men, who was IN favor of Enforcing strict
Sunday laws, absolute prohibition, etc
| heard him talk a spell, and then asked
him several questions:
"'Would you like to live in a c0mmu-
nifty where not one cigar could be smoked
during the week, where there were no
sunday amusements, and where not one
drop OF wine or spirituous liquors could
be sold or drank?
Certainly said the blue-law man;
that would be a social heaven
"'And you would really like to live
where no one could play on the Sabbath,
where no one could laugh out loud and
ENJOY a frOlicF l continued.
eyes, sir; that would suit me exactly.
1t would be paradise TO live in a cOmmu-
nifty where every one was compelled to 20
to church every Sunday; where no one
could drink drop of wine or smoke q
cigar; where no one could swear, and
where the law would make every man
gOOd-where the law would make every
mans outward department absolutely
correct
Then said |, Il advise you to 90 right
TO the penitentiary. At sing Sing there is
a community of 1900 men and women
governed in precisely that manner. They
are all good, by law"
JOHN RANDOLPH STOLE A JOKE.
There is nothing new under the sun. In
looking over the old Greek jokes of Arts.
tippus last evening find that John Ran
dolph stole one of his best wittlcisms from
this old cynic and pupil of Socrates.
One day pedantic singer was boasting
about his voice.
"But it don't take any brains TO have a
good voice." said Aristippus.
show is thRt~ asked the singer
"Why tin horn with an idiot behind ii
can produce better music than any singer
in Greecep'
This made the singer mad, and he twit-
ted Aristlppus with having no children.
"The Gods will not permit any more
such cynics to be born, while | have many
children" said the singer.
Eyes, you ignoramus," said Aristippus,
you boast of quality in which all
slaves are your equal, and every jackass
your superior"
ROBERT CoLLYER's STORY.
In a street-car talk with the Rev. Robert
COllyer the other day, the genial clergy
man told me the following:
Little Ethel had just commenced to
study her catechism in my church, and
her mother was hearing her say it.
snow, Ethel" her mother commenced.
"what must you first do before you can
have your SINS forgiven?"
~ des," said Ethel very thoughtfuIly.
81 des must first 90 out and commit the
sim"
REPUBLICAN, DEMOCRAT AND GREEN
BACK REASONS.
lack Chandler had three men working
In a sawmill IN the woods below Saginaw.
During Grants last campaign Tack went
up TO the sawmill 10 see how the men
were going to vote. He found that each
had a different political faith. One vas a
Democrat, one a Republican, and one
GreeDbacSer. A farm-boy had just killed
a fine woodchuck, and lack offered 70
give ii TO the man who would give the
best reason for his political faith.
Pm a Republican," said the first man,
"because my party freed the slave, and
never fired on the Old flag"
"GOOdi" said old Jack
"And / am Greenbacker," SAID the
second man, "because il my party should
get into power every man would have a
pocket full OF money"
"First-rate" said Uncle lack. And
now you" addressing third
"Why are you "a DemocratW
because, sir, said the man, trying to
think OF good democratic answer-"be-
cause-because l want that woodchuck %
ELI PERKINS.
KNOW TaTsELF, by reading tho .'soi-
| euce of Life the best medical work eyer