The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-07-25
III OROTS.

"YoU don't mean to say that your
boy is seriously in love, madam"
"Well-he goes to church. Boston
| Beacon.
ANOTHER murderer has confessed
that he killed man year ago. there
by destroying the clue which the de-
tective was working up.-BOston Post.
NO said a Philadelphia bride, al
| am not willing that our wedding tour
should include the Yellowstone Park.
Yellow doesn't agree with my COM
plexion."
IT was somewhat embarrassing for
Aunt Jane when Johnny, few even
ings since, at a gathering OF friends at
his mothers house, asked, Didn't
you know the real Noah, Aunt Jane?"
THE King of Denmark is father-in-
law OF both the Car OF Russia and the
Prince OF Wales. There can never be
any rest in this world for the father of
girl babieS.-LoUisvH'e CoUrcr-JoUr-
nal
THE Memphis Appeal says to its
readers that If they put their fingers
for some minutes i'll ice water they
would never drink it. The Appeal Is
right. Such ice water would be n very
improper beverage.-L0 sell Courier.
He came in silently and remarked.
Are YOU walm?" Yes was the
emphaticreply. "Imight have known"
he continued; you lukewarm. For
particulars of his death see news
columns.-ProvidcHce Star.
4 LoNpoN paper lays it down ed
itOrially that 1.-The man who would
not kiss Il woman when she tells him
with her eyes that her lips are yearn-
ing is an idiot" This, we think, de
pends upon the woman.-Leaven-
worth (KaS.) Times.
"DD YOU visit Five Points when
you were in New York ?" asked afriend
of Mrs Parvenu, who had been East.
give points" she replied, indignant
ly; ''well, l should say we did. We
visited about $50 points. New York
is mighty big place" j"
"WHAT two chief occupations have
the people OF the seacOast?" was
question asked in a written examina-
tiOn in geography in school recently.
Here is the answer: ''They go fishing
cod and mackerel and are salted and
sent to all parts OF the world"
Mrs. CANDID, a fashionable lady liv-
ing on Madison Square, New York,
called on a lady friend, and found her
petting one OF those pug dogs. "Nhele
did you get that animal?" asked Mrs.
Candid. "My husband gave it to me
to remember him by when he was away
travelling" "What Il horrid, nasty
looking brute he is. "-TeXas Siftings.
PoNsoNBY-'I tell you what it is,
we Americans work too hard. The
constant drive and worry of business
is making us a shOrt-Eved race" De
Twirliger-"That's so. never havea
moment to myself It's one constant
round Of work" Jones-"How did
you like the game yesterday" Both
1T was splendid. N. 7. Tribune.
A New YORK doctor says people
might as well eat sawdust as oatmeal
for breakfast. If that doctor only
knew how many agile photographers
will vOuchSafe the remark that he
probably bases his declaration on the
fact that sawdust is very fine board
he would have restrained himself
from philanthrophicm hicmotives.-Boston
Post
A BANGOR man yesterday was tell
ing Of a gentleman here who Is recelv-
ing letters from Gems. Hancock, SIo-
cum, Meade and others. Some one
present suggested that he could not
possibly be receiving letters from Gen.
Meade, as he had been dead for several
years. Il don't care n "copper"" was
his reply, ''if he has been dead all his
lifetime. ."-BaHgOr (Mc.) Commercial
THE English sparrow, u very fine
table bird, is exceedingly fond OF ripe
and juicy locust, for which it has been
whetting its bill for 7 years. "HOw
bright the summer prospect would
be" exclaims the Baltimore American,
"if 17-year Iocusts were only fond of
mosquitoes ~ By this process of in
corporation might suffering man get
back some of his lost blood.-Cncin-
matt Commercial Gazette.
A MAN whose had burned
down stood sorrowfully looking at the
smoking ruins. "This was an awful
mistake" he said to friend. "a sad
loss" the friend replied. 1T shows
the evil result OF a bad memory"
GLOW so?" "Why, if | hadn't for
gotten that Reinsurance had expired,
] would not have left a candle burning
in-oh, well, it's too sad to talk about
its criminal neglect. "-Arkansaw
Traveller.
Mr.. MILLER was bitten by his wife's
dog, and the lady was so much exer-
cised about it that she called in the
doctor and stated the case to him.
"Well, madam, said that gentleman,
II cannot say what the result will be,
but you can determine if he has hy-
drophobia by offering him water"
"H0w can / tell by that" Simply
enough; il he rejects the water with
horror, the dreadful disease has en-
chained him" But, doctor, my hus-
band is a Kentuckian :" "Oh-ah-
excuse me. | never thought of that.
Come again this afternoon | must
look up the suthorities.-Merchan
Traveller.