The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-05-15
TIE ROLLER RINK.
BY BILL NYE.

For long time / have eveoed the task
graphing with this great national question,
but now fear that can escape its responsi-
bility no lop ger. Hundreds OF anxious eyes
to-day are watching for the coming man to
rise fearlessly. and In clarion tones refer to
this matter in terms that can not be mis-
understood.
In the language of one Of our great states.
men, 81 have Gomez
now express my opinion of the roller
skating rink, and i say fearlessly that as
soon as lad entered the arena and had put
on the skates, was down on ths rink. 1
wss also down on roller skates. When get
roller skates on 1t don't take me long to drop
on myself.
After thoroughly investigating the subject
/ have fully decided that unless this great
curse OF tree government can be wiped out
the whole Nation will bs plunged into
aInics.
tried on roller skates the latter par. OF
August, A. d. 1854. and ou the 9th of Ssp.e u
Der was caught in the bosom Of vigorous
cyclone, but how pescefal aud re5tful the
cyciGne seemed efter my matinee at tbs rink,
How the wearied and hate red hulk OF hu.
msnity that nov pens these lines cuddlsd
up 10 the fierce Jamescanel
After got down on the rink, got tbs
authorities TO come aud remove my skates
had paid twenty. five cents TO enter the
rink, and when / came away vas aimost
tickled to death because the proprietor did
not make mo pay damages for sitting down
so hard on HE nice new riok 60 that the
ficor had always esgged 4 little ever slncs
am having rink designed nov for my
own special use next season. 1t il 20 be
large structure, covering about two acres of
ground. aDd foored over with half inch ir IN
lat ill I.~IE
sheets OF rubber. 10 the center there vail be
n turn table, on which / can glide when |
wish TO Turn around
The skates will be roomy to fault They
will be made to order out OF condemned dat
cars.
tractive, consisting OF large overcoat
stuffed with curled hair, rubber psntal00ns
filled with hay and woven wire mattress bus
tie trimmed with overskirt OF the same. In
front / will be protected by large feather
bed cowcstcher held in place with extension
draw heads. will then get into that rink
and run wild Regular trains will have to
atde-track and wait for orders.
Parties desiring to come aud witness nay
little fiat car tournament will do well to
wear base ball masks and settle up their
business before they enter the rink, for
want it understood that am only novice.
/ am not accustomed to ride the roller skate,
and my legs are . little eccentric in the or
bits
The performance will open with fiat car
promenade to slow music. I will than en-
thr the RINK on my graceful skates aud Gid
around on the rnrutable to the music of
Strauss waltz. / will next come in and fal
down three times in rapid succession, after
which there will be an intsrmission of two
weeks for refreshment and change OF scene.
When new skin has grown on the places
where coli5ed with my new rink, the psr-
vii Ia lin Cd opl ID
out from day to day until it is completed or
death comes to my relief.
Those holding season tickets will be en-
titled to remain until after the funeral.
Mo1rners need not be identified.
Those who know me best, and people who
have noticed my graceful carriage, say they
would go farther to sea me skate than any
other professional rim kist they ever cav rink.
Many claim that they never saw a skater
fall down and hurt him.elf with moro gan.
uine pleasure.
When / get on roller skates somehow
people lose all interest in the ad min 'stration
and almost everything else. People would
walk for miles to see me come on. in the rink
with my new costume and kill myself. do
not say this egotistically or to attract atten-
ton TO myself, bat say it because it is true.
Frlen 0s have come to me and told me SO.
And stiiI there is a nsmeless fascination
about roller skating. Tbough the owners OF
the rink will not allow ms 70 skate while
other people are in the building. / love to
go and watch the skaters aud hold thsir
shawis while they ska.s, or hold their hands
and feet while they ere IL reposs. love 10
buckle young lsdy's skates on her fair
young feet. / love to liuger over them aud
chat with tbem-tbe young Ladies l mean
and ask them If they are well, ard how their
mother is feeling, aud il they do not think
We are having rather 3 Backward spring.
am On easy and very fluent conversa
tionaiist. having moved In some of the very
osst society, and thus acquired flow of
small talk which The most fesble.minded can
readily comprehend.--Drahe's Magazine.
HrahmaD Explains HIS Religious.