Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-07-02
WIT AND HUMOR.

little blue rabbit.
The Princess Beatrice = 80 pretty
that she is described as looking Ike
an American girl.
Robbie" said the visitor kindly,
have you any little brothers and sis
tersp' NO" said wee Robbie, sol
EMMY, I'm all the children we've
got "-Astray.
It seems that Mrs. Sullivan mauled
Prot. John J.. Sullivan of Boston.
Then let us tear the gaudy chaplet
from off his brow. You tear it, Chi
cago Current
A Wisconsin editor has taken $50
bottles Of pain-killer on advertising,
and is now ready to be kicked all over
town aud come up Timber in the morn
ing. Detroit Free Press.
They didn't pick that stuff quick
enough, did they, mammal asked
little boy as he passed a grocery where
several cakes of Limburger were tax
ing breathing spell outside.
When a woman is giving her hus-
band q bit of her mind he should try to
imagine what it would be like if he
was q Mormon and was having seven
teen such bits served up TO him.
A bright st. Louis youth got an auto
graph album filled with signatures, but
as they lacked neatness and uniformity
he bought a new book and copied all
the names into it. Now he is happy.
"Great Cesar" exclaimed the tramp
as he leaped over the fence. Great
seizer" observed the farmer as he
watched the dog returning with sam
pie Of the tramp's trousers. Boston
Transcript.
A child who had once seen a grab
bag in church. after the contribution
box had passed by one Sunday, whis-
pered to her mother: "How much did
sou get? grabbed a quarter. ~ Con-
grcgationatisL
I'm Arizona man has stopped taking
an agricultural paper IL wrote to
the editor asking how TO get rid of
gnats. The answer came in the next
issue OF the paper, XIII them. -Ae0
Yorb Tri5Une.
Employer to clerk 81 don't object
10 your going 10 q funeral once in a
while; bat I think you might bring me
home a fish or two. Sulbiush on the
end of the clerk nose extends rapidly
TO his cars. HonJary ddcaca,e.
Client How does my suit get along?
Lawyer Splendidly; | shall get at the
truth OF the matter. If 10 is possible
thing. Client-Eor heavens sake.
what are you thinking or That's just
the thing that's going to ruin me.
Prof. Sullivan's interesting state
ment that he was never drums in his
life was probably based on the liberal
definition that "a man is not drunk so
long as he can lie on the ground with
out holding on ~ iroClisacc J0urHaL
An oil country resident, after hear
inc Goldsmith's poem, The Deserted
Village, read in an eloquent manner,
drew a long breath and said; IN be
darned if that village of sweet Auburn
don remind me Of Petroleum Centor "
Preacher How did you like my SER
mon Sunday, Miss Gushiugton2 Miss
Perfectly delighted. was trans
ported. Preacher 70 visionary lands
OF Paradise, ! supposed Miss G-No,
sir To the land OF dreams -Pti.;L
CaR.
Mrs Bascom says she doesn't see
why they want TO make such a fuss
about whether prominent Americans
have coats-Of-arms or not She says if
il was coats without arms it would be
something to talk about. Darlington
Free Press.
It is said that in u recent tit of rage
Hannibal Hamlin threw half mince
pic at man who was playing on
bagppe under his diuing-room win
dow The man was no doubt the pied
piper OF Hamlin. Rats! hlkJuvg
hyoa.cc-Iucgrapb.
A Clergyman d Connecticut who re-
Gently died left all his money to mis-
sionary societies, and did not leave a
cent to q feeble and penuilcss brother
who is in a public institution. But,
since Sheol is the worst place he can
be sent TO, he doesu care
And so YOU have received divorce
from that yagaboud husband Of YOURS,
Mrs. smith, "Yes. am GLAD to say
that have. Didn't Won feel quito
oyerpowercd when YOU heard the de-
cision Of the judge "Not exactly.
felt sort OF unnamed SO to speak.
A clergyman in Central Illinois is re-
ported to have startled his Hook a few
Sundays ago by the announcements
Remember our communion services
next Sunday forenoon The Lord will
be with MS during the morning SER
vices and the Bishop in the evening
Law sakes, said old Mrs. Relief.
"all Melinda thinks of now is the
skatin' rink. Aud she's got so high
toned a rollin round on them wheels
that She can't even go her old mothers
homemade bread now, ar She talks
all the time abou; the Dutch rolls thew
have up there
Feathcrly was making an evening
call, and the revised edition was being
discussed. IN the new Bible that pa
brought home, said Bobby, joining
the conversation, "sister is four Years
younger than she was i'm the old one.
Is that what is meant by the revised
edition ?'-M J. SHH
A Young Subscriber wants to know