Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-03-20
557 SOLDIER AND THE CAMEL.
-. Reasons Why the Two Cannot
COseH' Get Along Together.

'.'' to+oment that the brlush llii"li'iy
the s'"'I s.or, Gubat upon Abu-Nea are
retlIll i'5, and prefer walking to camel
c i1sn This information is not surprising
riding. l Genuine "TOmmy Atkins" who
Take ,bobIv never been across anything
has birhly-tamed donkey on Hemp
but a Heath a and put him outside the ne
stead ia - q healthy camel, and he will
hump S - echo the words of the cable
unaouy he prefers walking to camel-rid-
gran Tbere is no joyousness in camel
lng s:a On the contrary, there is much %{a
nd gsinc for the unsophlstIca:teqq: Inc Inc
sutteTlRls NJ ~ bv some poetical individual
camel , nII 4 the "ship of the desert"
been dupU rticuIar case the builder most
In thal Il hiun;Ided better than he knew.
decidedly g riding on camel will not give
OF course atue s;ctness, but it is only be-
co3se Of the absence Oh riit 70 'I mal-de-m r
otne ,r ets in camel-ding; me eIe ,rt
are Pre pres he Al an exercitant physically, but
else may may ~ produces the calm which is
it scarcej! p PiO sleep upon the pool of
supposed u '''f
Bethes ,,rocess of riding camel produces
Inc sIS and sundry veXations, even for
gltNv.'Go ouestrians. In the first place,
eyer n;;H nj must be compelled to lie down.
W Ijs !. TDronded with peg in his nose, the
Hs !, Psttached to a string, and when the
E ior Is pulled he is supposed to go
S S-p mon his Bonded knees. He does
~. Wv" ~ down. however, without a protest.
IN 0U the contrary, he snarls in sounds that
o 90, i ba heard a mile off; if there is any
S f',i ~ within biteable distance he will
b bso and if there is anybody objection
obIn TO him within reach of his gaunt,
STrs hind-legs he will kick out with
an eornestness worthy of better cause.
Tho b;tn Of Mr.. Camel is nothing to be
triaed with. His Jaws have horizontal
elton working from side to side, and
tbe lower maxiliary churns above the
INNER maxiliary with a grit and grind
that would make any person with deli
cafe nerves SILVER with the devotion of
an aspen to its peculiar business Of
sbiyering. Not once nor twice, but often
has the camel lifted off at one fell bite
tbp Uranium of some Arab or Hindoo
who had reposed so much confidence in
his good intentions as to stand beneath
his nostrils and smoke villainousl " strong
tobacco.
As for the kick of the camel, it is what
might be described in a certain vernacu-
lar as a "holv terror" AS far-reaching
as a sheriff s warrant, it has at the same
time the force of a Krupp cannon. When
an excited billiardist whirls around a cue
with which to annihilate the man who
has Just beaten him, the cue resembles
the camel's kicking leg. h gyrates. it
seems to fash, and then it floors most
absolutely. In Arabia, there is legend
that the camel of the Prophet lifted one
Of its legs with such effect that a wicked
gentleman was summarily imbedded in
rock exactly five miles away from the
spot where the camel performed his sal
utatory feat. Whether or not the camel
knows his powers, his kicking possibili-
ties are greater than those Of a politician,
and decidedly more elevating than a
Presidential election achieved by the ex-
erCises Of hot-and-cold mugwumps. His
kick has a far-reaching, cork-screwical
effect which is difficult To describe. With
its old-fashioned, sponge foot camel can
knock even the cheek off Ninth Ward
politician. for even triple brass cannot
avail against its intensity of application
There is one thing pleasant about the
,amel. That is the lustre of its eye
Juno was called the "ox-eyed from the
rich resemblance of her eyes to those o
a placid COW, but richer in subdued lustrt
than the ewes of the OK or the gazelle il
the eve of the camel. Nevertheless, it il
the kind of wicked optic described by
Iongfellow, and plainly hangs out the
signal of beware" Gazing into the
eve Of a camel is like looking down into
the depths of a clear well-dark, glitter,
Ing, profound, and containing a light
which gradually fades away into ineffa'
uedark-brown shadows. Nevertheless
heromance is taken out of the beautiful
mid eve of the camel by the knowledge
that there skulks beneath it bite of ter
nble proportions, and behind it kick
that would seem to make dynamite q
superhuous luxury of civilization.
As for the "ship of the DESERT being
all that fancy paints it, the experience OF
Tommy Atkins in the Soudan expresses
about the truth of the matter. First a
rock forward, then a jolt backward, and
suddenly a catch up in the middle, which
makes the vertebre culver like blanc
mango in the hands of a careless waiter,
are Just about the general characteristics
o. camel riding. Attached to all this
There are pains which, TO use the singu-
larry expressive language Of the cables
permitted to be disseminated by Gen.
LORD Wolseley, made the British troops
prefer walking to camel riding" An
inexperienced mahout upon the neck Of
a Jungle" elephant in the ravines OF
Ahchunlunga could not possibly be a
more deplorable wreck of humanity than
an English infantry soldier perched with
Oh ms Announcements upon the back of a
Souuan camel. To him an equinoctial
STORM IN the Mediterranean would, in
LolnpariIson, be pleasurable experience
nc would probably prefer an earthquake,
%po!cah0, thunderbolt, or anything else
ts a, S0 t suddenly put him out of sex
roS torment. In short, the camel is a
@oy y much overrated animal. He is q
Tc %onei' grumbler, and misanthropically
conr; lis sole virtues lie in padded feet
Of cbr-n..ocuS stomach, suspendable power
fs Som5yinlhcation, Qualification, and deglu.
ar ISa, ana familiarity with the peculi.
Hencoo u u !he trackless ways of the desert
Lord 'T Nv II is easy to understand General
that Nv mooc5seiiey's intimation to the world
camel iu :; SGubat troops prefer marching tc
ceaIs n lnuing; Indeed, it probably con
sUffarapS SrIlculars about unnumbered pains
camol eu by the unsophisticated British
the o on In their retreat from Gubat tc
Chico lDcgInttlrating point at Abu-Klea.-
Hand-Shaking.