Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-06-10
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veSuViuS.

sofa wheat now justly deserves.
Vesuvius.
The study of the habits and tempera-
ment of the volcano, at a distance of
about ten thousand miles, is one that
always affords me much pleasure. In
watching and noting the peculiar
phenomena of the eruptions I have
almost lost sight of its attendant danger.
Avolcano is always feverish and rest
less till after the eruption then it feels
better. The first symptoms of the erup-
ton are cold feet, bad dreams, and
bad breath and dark circles around the
crater. This will be followed by an I'M
comfortable feeling in the bowels of the
earth, and Huttering pulse. The vol
cano is then about to erupt, and those
who live near there had better sell out
at sacrifice.
One THOUSAND eight hundred and
eighty-four years ago the Roman geo.
grapher and weather crank, Strabo,
spoke of Vesuvius as burnt mountain
but it had not at that time turned itself
wrong side out. Quite a forest grew
where it's crater now stands. For fifty
years Vesuvius had bilious spells, but
kept on drawing its salary without loss
of time, but in 70 A. d., it turned itself
loose, and tore up the ground good
deal. Real estate was to an astonishing
height, but became depressed again at
once. The south half of the mountain
was jerked loose, as Pliny has it, and
knocked galley west. This was fol-
lowed by shower of hot, wet ashes,
completely obliterated Pompeii and
Herculaneum. These towns have been
exhumed lately, but, owing to the Grim
inal delay of the authorities in doing so,
no ives~were saved.
These cities are not covered with lava
Scientists say that the ruins were found
under deey layer of volcanic tufa. l
do not know what tufa is, but presume
the term is perfectly proper and safe to
use in good society, l have heard of the
tufa cigar, which is sold at the rate of
tufa five cents, but am comparatively
ignorant of the general appearance of
volcanic tufa. This is joke that I
thought of myself Times are so close
this winter that am obliged to origin
ate good many of my own jokes and to
write my own autograph. My amanuen-
sis who has stood by me SO long and
aided me 50 we'll, has been discharged.
Autograph hunters will notice that my
autographs are not so good as when ]
had an amanuensis.
For nearly thousand years Vesuvius
then remained in a comatose state, with
only an occasional eruption. Then for
500 years it did not erupt. In 1888, Oh
the shores of the Gulf of Baie in the
Bay of Naples, a new and attractive
crater was opened. TWAS good, easy
running crater and the lava was hot
when it came out Hot lava is not good
for food. It hardens in the stomach
and taints the breath with the odor OF
sulphur.
In 1851 Vesuvius itself again became
intensely irritable and showed signs OF
morbid desire to erupt. During the
800 years OF quiet the crater had been
covered over with forests infested by
the wild boar of Italy and the tame
bore of England. The slopes of the
mountain were cultivated up to the
foot of the cone and Sunday school
picnics swarmed over the greensward
at its base.
Suddenly, in the latter part of Deem.
Der, Vesuvius rose on its hind feet and
painted Rome red. All Southern
Europe and a part of York State was
covered with ashes and debris from the
internal economy of the volcano
Many people were killed who had never
previously lost their lives. The way
Vesuvius slung hot mud at the Neapol'
itan hordes that fall was solemn
warning to the puny pugmire pushers
of putrid politics in the land of the free
and the home of the brave. The
beautiful cities of Resini and Postici
were entirely destroyed and those Of
Tore del Greco and Tore del
'lAmumgiata would have persisted il
they had not spread the names of the
towns over themselves and escaped. A
good long name in Itoly is rather to be
chosen than great riches.
About every ten years since the above
date, Vesuvius has been liable to jar the
country and shake down few towns.
covering the people with stnff that is
entirely useless. The eruption of Yes
uvius is fine sight at night. No doubt
but there will always be more or less
apprehension on the part of spectators
until some American ''rustler' puts a
damper in the crater of Vesuvius so he
can regulate the eruption. At presen,
these spasms are too irregular and toe
vehement.-[ 1ngleside.
M0mento of Garfield.
Some time ago Mrs. Garfield gave r.
B. Hayes a momento of her dead hus-
hand. which is kent with Zealous care