New-York tribune., 1885-02-22
MY FIRST MURDER.

~
! had occasion to pay visit to my dentist, and on
being shown into his ns-ro6m L observed at
once that there was an addition to the current
literature upon the table. | had been There from
circumstances over which have unfortunately no
centro so frequently that knew the list by heart
] had tried them all. az various times, and had
found them, without exception, vanity. Under
such circumstances. it may bo imagined that
caught light of the familiar yellow cover of the
COrnhU with much satisfaction. found, TO my
surprise. that it was Qnite recent number bearing
date September last. | pOunccd upon IT, ana was
deep in al highly interesting story, entitled
sThe Curate of ChurEside' Ii set foith now
nice young curate, by name Waller Dehe oil chariI
ing manners and artistic tastes man VINO shoWeu
the tenderest solictude for little sick girls and
touching consideration even Tor Their ased grand
mothers--was impelled, by pressure OF circum-
stances. 10 murder his uncle l had ALWAYS had a
nreiu,ice against murderers, whom | pictured TO
myself as vulgar and brutal persons like the late
MT. Peace hut !besan to see that there might be
another side to the question. The story showed III
the cearest and most uninstakable manner, that
Walter Dene really had 10 alternative. He had not
the least wish to murder his uncle, bnt the old
gentleman formed an obstacle TO Walters union
with an amiaDle and deserving young lady, and it
was absolutely necessary that he should be re-
moved. Accordingly, Walter makes up his mind 70
in the back with bowie-knlfc 1t shows the
natural kind-heartedness of the man, that having,
in Withdrawing the knife, accidentally wounded
the paw OF the murdered mans taVorlie spaniel.
Walter Dene sits down quietly by the side OF the
corpse and binds up the dogs wound limb with
his own pocket handkerchief. had reached this
point in the story. when the fOding-d0ors opened.
My dentist appeared in the opening. with his usual
crocodile smile Il never could realize crOcOdcs'
tears hut | can picture the lr smile exactly, and
beck0ned me in. / had TO lay down the story un-
finished and to this day | don't know what
ultimately became of the tender-hearted murderer.
For the next half hour or so nay attention was
diverted sr0m the subject by extreme personal dis
comfort but on leaving the chamber of horrors
and reganng the street the history came back to
ne with renewed vividncss. found myself exam
inmc Walter Denes arguments for the suppression
OF his uncle with "a sort OF PERSONA interest FOR
too have an uncle. tor love land am beloved by
a charming girl and my uncle is the only obstacle
to our union. don't mean to say that he objects
TO it-auite the contrary but the mere fact OF his
continuing to exist, and thereby retaining possess
sion of his money which wOuld otherwise come to
ME- is an eiectual bar to orr happiness. Dear Jula
is a charming GIRL but, like the youhg lady III the
song her face is ner fortune and IL Is nardly 10 he
supposed that /, benjamin Gryls, Il clerk IN iieT
Maestys Civil Service at fl50 a year. could
marry on that, even with the additional hundred or
so my uncle allows me. Really, the parallel was
wonderfully close. In some respects. indeed mine
was the stronger For the Reverend Walter
Dene's uncle was not saye by the mere fact OF his
existence) Objectionable. Nine was, N9t TO men
of cracking what he was pleased to consider Jokes
at my expense he had sundry manners ana custngs
which, to u delicate-nnded person, were extremely
offensive. He wouM wear an old serge JACKET ana
carpet slippers and not untreqnentIy ne would
come down TO breakfast without collar or necKte,
and not always Ill the ceanest of shirts. Now #
there is one thing more than an another on WI'ch
pride myself, it is my shirts. always wear
Uncle Thomas pays the laundresSs blil clean
shirt every day. and my cuffs and collars are the
envy OF all the fellows IN our Office,
! come down to breakfast looking, tatter
myself like gentleman. Uncle Thomas shambIes
in ten minutes or q quarter of an hour later with
his carpet slippers his shirt front rumped as II he
had slept in IT, and very often so frayed ont at the
button-holes that the studs won't hold IN them.
When | entreat him TO show more sell respect, AMI
to buy himself half dozen OF decent shlrts' the
he can't afford it, "Ah. Benny. my boy, ne often
saws, "yon haven't an extravagant nephew to Keep
going as Ihave." And then ne laughs till he nearly
hoEp
TO bring him 10. hate man that laughs at MS
own jokes. And OF an evening ne dfinks Two
tumbler, OF hot gn-aud-water, and then lie throws
his handkerchief lcolored cOtOnl over his head and
snores. Surely If Walter Dene was excusable IN
getting rid of such comparatively lnohensIve
uncle as his. should he more than Justified IN
removing mine. And then again. there was nobody
10 regret ing uncle. Walter Dene's uncle NAV have
had any nun Der of other reiatlOns IT is clear mat
he had at least other nephew, because waiter
had brother. Ny uncle had not soul IN the
world to regret him but myself and II was as pre- pre-
else hal any right to interfere; OF course an not
talking of the legal aspect of the question. II has
as little as possible to DO with my affairs. and so
delicate "A matter as the present must clearly he
kept remote as possible from legal onPllcatl3hs
Lawyers don't recognize that hlgher law that
snblimated expediency On which Walt-r Dene
founded his course of action. Walter Dene was
fully satisfied Of the perfect propriety of his CON
TO let the law into his secert, and go must L. ,
And so must u Good Heavens! was actually
from whom | had only that morning received
check for G20i Perish the thought! And yet
there julia nd r hpp OR TeTv 10 ss
portion of 1t, depended upon her being United 10
ME- So that 1t really was not question solely
of my duty to my uncle, but of my duty to my
uncle reTsus nv duty to Julia And then, myself,
surely was entitled to a Hhle consideration. AS
Walter Dene very neatly puts 1t, " Here was wa,
Christmas happiness and his own on the one hand
set in the scale against the feeble remnant Of
selfish old. mans days on The other" -, q for FOR
own and there you are. Then again, every one
admits in these enlightened days that the greatest
happiness of the greatest number Is the true test OF
morality. Julia and l were clearly the greit.t
number for we were two TO one. Really, the
arguments all pointed one way.
| tried to dismiss the matter from my mind. but
it wouldn't be dismissed. | argued the matter
seriously with myself tried to trot mp my uncle 5
virtues and 20 see precisely what the world Wonin
lose by losing him. He was good natured i ielt
bound to admit that much in his favor. Secondly,
he was honest; though there wasn't much credit
IN that seeing that he had no temptation 10 the
contrary. Thirdly, he as-hc was No. for the
life OF me conldnt think of any other virtue that
ho could fairly claim credit for Two virtues. all
told. And was a man with this paltry allowance
of moral recommendations terribly set OFT. con-
ha by his red cotton handkerchief his crumped
Shirt front and his vulgar iokeS)-was a man like
this by his continued existence divide two loving
hear,sY Clearly not. My course was PLAIN, what
ever the violence to my own feelings My uncle
This being settled the next question was,
sHowF" / could not bring myself 70 prod the OLD
gentleman Win ~ DDWlt-knlIe, ~ wa Dchc hHi
with his uncle. Stabbng has always seemed to me
clumsy medieval sort of OF getting rid OF an
enemy. 1t Is apt moreover. 10 leave tell-tae spots
upon the Operators pantaloOns. Firearms were
equally ont of the question. ! never hred on any
thing in my life save penny cannon III early
youth and then | remember, the deadly weapon
1Iew backward and broke the wash hhouse window.
The fact is impressed on my memory, because the
breakage cost me .eghteenpeDcc out OF my hard
earned pocket-money. Poison would have been
more i'm my line but a gentleman can't take any
thing 70 disagree with hn nowadays without those
confonnded analytical chemists pokins their noses
into his inside and finding out what lie last TOOK
for supper. Hanging was obviously unsultabie
Apart from other objections. nothing snort OF a
hav annunIfel q of nncIes