South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-04-17

INJURED tighter and IL broke the bea r
oil up and no went away and hid in the
forest for three days to get over the
shame.
How FREDDY ENTERTAINED HKR. -
Mamma cried little Freddy. a. his
mother entered the house. sNrs. Smith
has been here. She waited loax time. :
Did shes and did you entertain her,
Freddy
4 guess so. mamma; t any rate, she
laughed lots
Yes. What did you say to herr
Lots o things. She asked mo bsw
cid / was. and when tod her was
I'VE, just the same number Of years you
were older than papa, I guess she
thought ii was real funny. You sushter
heard bsr laugh
Peggy johnson. bargaining with .
peddler fer pair Of spectacles: NAY,
nay; they'll NO dae.' Psdller, after g
dozen have proved unsuccessful. hands
her pair withou. glasses. TRY thae,
ma wuman.' Peggy: Now we've fi,ti,
me, ThaO's the beet spscs ever au had
on
Why is it dangerous to be out in
spring. Because the grass has blades,
the flowers pistils. the leaves shoot, and
the builrushes cut.
SWEET THrNos.--'Syeet thipss ara
very bad for you, DEAR said a fond
mother to her little six.yssr.old boy
who bad the end Of . fss. waning stick
OF candy in his mouth.
And is sweet things bad for maps.
tooT' asked the innocent child, reIsss-
Ing the stick from his mouth for only
an inataat.
Yes said the mother
L thought So replied the boy, as the
last end OF the stick disappeared.
why lid you think so. my boy9'
Because he always goes out when
You begin to sing Sweet Viole,..''
II that boy lives he may manipulate
the bones some pight.- Yonkers States
man.
Why SHE LOVED HIM Beatrice
said Boston mother to her daughter.
why do you persist.in seeing this mann
You know that your father and / do
not approve Of it.
don't know.
Why dom. ycu tell ha 10 keep sway
from the house?'
Il don't know
Why don't you tell him that your
flasher has forbidden you to see him /?
ii he is a gentleman that will keep him
away
Il don't know.
'fes. you do know. 1t is because
You love him. Now, daughter. why do
you waste your affections on him? He
is not talented. and far from being
handsome. He is much beneath YOU
in every respect. What is i; that makes
you 80 infatuated With hims'
q can't tell you, mamma; no more
than l can tell you why like beans. |
1t just seems TO he that way, and that's
all that can tell about it,
People turn pale when they faint,
don't they? asked q counsel who wa.
severely .cross-examiniug and badeering
a witness. ne, not alwsys3' Did you
ever hear OF 3 case Of fainting where
tue party nid not turn pale?' 'Yes sir
Did you ever see such q case, 'Ye..
sir 'When9' About a year ago
Where was itP' Twas a negro, cir
Zeal after peal shook the court room,
in which The venerable judge joined.
The defendants counsel lost his case,
not to say his temper.
James, said moiLerly woman to q
young mao whose FIRST sermon she had
jus, heard. james. Why did you enter
the ministry i bad call from the
Lord said the young mar and then
came the reply, But are you surs it
wasn't some other noise you hesrdY
A little boy, on returning from Sun.
dsy school recently, when asked by his
mother What vas the golden tcxtf'
Instantly rspliad, Hold CRATER TO
SolOm on's ear For = moment the
mother was puzzled, and then could not
restrain her laughter as the true text
came TO her--'Behod, n greater than
Solomon is here. Children ps. strange
notions, and need plain words and clear
thoughts
josh Billings When vas a Young
Dsn ! Tus Rlwss in hurry TO bold tho
big end Of the log and do ali tho lift.
ing. Now ! am older seize the small