Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-01-30
MISTAKE OF A HOTEL CLERK.

There is no denying the fact that be look
ed seedy. His hat was of the shocking
bad" order, the cut of his coat OF antique
style, his general make up of the modern
tramp school. Trying to dodge q cart IN
crossing upper Broadway yesterday, gen.
tleman answering the above description
blundercd against a vehicle coming from
the opposite direction and smeared his hand
with tar grease oozng from one OF the hubs.
| 1t is good thing to have clean hands, al
| though manual uncleanlness is no uncom-
mon thing in this great bad city. Walking
into an adjacent hotel, the man o. smeared
hard proceeded to wash himself i'll one OF
the marble basins for laboratory use.
Cant you read?" asked stylish
! Young man with II cutaway coat, richly par
licolored scarf and glittering diamond
scarf pin.
he vigorously rubbed the ball of soap
over bis smeared hand. "Why do you
ask 2"
because there is q printed notice over
your head you should read and heed"
Ah! see," WAS the Strangers cool rejoin-
der, raising his eyes aud reading the notice.
| "For exclusive use Of he guests" ana then
| he continued in the same cool tone. III had
not observed tho notice before. 1t is not an
| original idea by any means. have seen
| it frequently in hotels, but it's intensely
stupid has no meaning IN it. One OF the
rules of the house, is il? What nonsense
What constitutes hotel guest ?"
81 don't want any of your conundrums.
old fellow" Indignantly interrupted the
| young man, his flashing diamond paled by
| the fiery flashing of his eyes. you are
NOT a guest of the hotel, SO get out Of here"
"Who are you that you should talk to me
in that way?" asked the stranger in the
same tona Of imperturbabIe calmness
and scanning his intcrlocutor with keen y
scrutipizing gaze rs he began to wipe his
| han,is on the immaculate towel suspended
| from !, roller.
II belong to the hotel | am the clerk"
quickly answered the young man, with that
| professional air OF colossal Importance and
Supreme contempt for ordinary mortals
which it is expected will be followed by an
immediate paralyziug effect.
| ",rheu don't mind" said the stranger.
| Il am not as frightened as l might have
been. ! thought surely the hotel belonged
to you instead of your belonging to the
hotel"
81 don't want any more words; you get
/ OUT OF mere qulch
"Young man. and the words were utter
ed in slow and deliberate tone, Il want
to give you some advice: it's very old and
trite, hut it is very good for Il fast young
man like you. Think before you speak,
| Never Judge from appearances Impress
these aphorisms oil your feeble brain. The
fact is"
'But tell you again, get out of here"
fairly screamed the young man in his in
creasiug rage, 'or will call a policeman"
II won't get out Of here, and no police
man will put me out, either. You insult.
ingly called my attention to that printed
notice, For exclusive use of the guests.
Now understand clearly the moment
stranger steps foot over the threshold OF
hotel he is the guest of that hotel and en-
titled to it's privileges and comforts. For
all the privileges and comforts he chooses
to avail himselfof he can be charged. There
is no law restricting him in the freedom of
his choice, and neither is there any law
compelling him tostay longer than hewishes.
| desire to avail myself of no further privi-
leges at this hotel, and propose to leave
at once. Now I want to see the proprietor
and pay my BILL"
"There's nothing to pay, and If there was
you probably haven't u dime about your
clothes. There's the door,
"My young friend, see that avenue of
egress, and propose to utilize it in my own
good time but / see you will not take ad.
vice. I've only one more word with you,"
taking the young man by the collar, who
paled and quivered under his wratnful
grasp and menacing eye. Il have only just
arrived in this city, but if meet any moro
like you shall do two things-enlarge the
boundaries of my private burying ground
and found an asylum so long needed in this
country for that large class of inbeci'e fools
hotel clerks"
II have used your wash basin, soap and
towel" the stranger said to the proprietor,
whom he found in the Office, "and want to
pay my bill"
"There is nothing TO pay" politely ans.
wered the proprietor.
But insist upon it," taking out large roll
of bills and extracting $40 note aud laying 1t
on the counter. "If it's more than the bill would
be. use the balance in trying to germinate brains
and develop good manners in your hotel clerk
| But sir
The stranger disappeared. Later in the even
ing the centleman-a prominent lawyer of this
city and ex-Judge of one of the highest courts
rected the above story to party OF gentlemen
dining with him at Delmonicos He had just
come from the mines of California having gone
! there in spirit OF adventure and to improve his
health, and he retained his mining garb until
after his arrival to asronish his friends and amuse
himself over their puzzling failures TO recognize
him. It is hardly necessary to add that tho idea
of an asylum for hotel clerks was received as one
of the brightest indications of the progressively
: philanthropic spirit of the age.-N. J. Herald.
: A GREAT DISCOVERY greatest dis
covery of the nineteenth century is DR.. Les.