Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-23
BRIGHT IBIro.

A LITTLE KINDNESS is like lemon at a pc
mic: 1T goes great way. -Philadellhta CdH.
QUERY for yachtmcn. # a vessel can sail
before the wind, why should she have to wait
for the wnd2- IoRkers gazette.
DID you 20 to a watering place this sum
NO; have one Of my own
"IndeedY"
Eyes; / am amilbman. "-Neao York journal.
AT the Palais Royal, Jack twho has just
treated his friend To the dinner of the estab-
lishment) Pretty good dinner for two francs
and half, Ell?
His friend First rate. Let's have another
Life.
WHAT does your papa do during the day?'
inquired the minister Of IA little girl. ION, -
was the innocent reply, "he goes down town
every morning and works, and-and-some-
times he comes hack in the evening. '-CAicG-
90 Hsrdld.
FALL cleaning has commenced in the White
House, and Dan Lamont says the President
shpWs as much patience "a an oil family man
when he has to sit on the stairs rs he eats his
dinner, or stay up late at night until the ser
wants can fix him up n shake-down on the
loor.-FdU Riyer d dUdnce.
MATERFAMILTAs ITO Tommy, who is help
ing himself literally to Currant jam at the
supper table)-Tommy, after the solemn
warning of yesterday, | should think you
would not eat so much preserves.
TOmmy-What solemn warning, mammal
Materfam ,lIas-The death of Jumbo: he
died of too much Jam, you know.-Pjtts6Urs
Chronicle.
THAT BIG HAT
Oh, woman, It's a fearful thing!
II takes away my sight,
] cannot see the stage at all,
AJAX you is it right
To wear chat nat 81 tall and broad,
With tlaring feathers gay,
And rob me- OF the mimic joys
For which I've had to nav?
--Boston Budget.
ITS a terrible thing to owe money" said
Smith. ''TO be compelled to dodge around
this corner and that to avoid meeting a
creditor on the street. 1t takes the manhood
out of one, and he soon loses all seli-respect.
am glad to Say that 1 no longer owe a dol
lar"
''Then thos, old debts that have bothered
you so long areall squared up, are they?"
Yes. thank heaven The last one became
outlawed Yesterday. "-Neto York Sun.
YOUNG MANI am willing to lend you
twenty dollars, Gus, but you mustn't say any
thing to anybody about it. If it should be-
come known that l had lent you money !
would be importuned to death"
Gus (pocketing the moneyl-"Thanks!
pledge you my word that 1 will never speak
OF it to a SOUL
Young Man-"All right. About when Will
you return me the money, Gus2"
Gus-"Sh NUNS the word, old boy"
mo. SIR" declared Schoppenstedt posi-
lively II don't take any stock in all this talk
about mind reading. II is all bOsh, every bit
of it. III defy any man living to read my
mind. It's an absolute impossibilIty, sir; an
absolute impossibility."
"Rut, dear gently Interrupted Mrs. SchOp-
penstedt, you ought not to be quite So posi-
tive Science has been making wonderful
strides, you know, IN the last few years
Why, ! was reading only the other ay of a
wonderful microscope which would show
over ll2.000 lines drawn in the space OF an
inch wide '-Sotoey0iHe Journal
JOB SHUTTLE keeps up with the times, and
what he don't know about yacht-rsclng and
''balloon jbs' and gan topsails" hasn't yet
appeared in the papers. OF course he was
excited over the victory of the Puritan, and
his nights rest was as light as the breeze that
barely sent the yachts across the line.
"What IN Neptunes the matter with that
brat? why don't you starboard the cradle
and take advantage of the squat? he shouted,
impatiently.
"Reef your lower jawsail," retorted Mrs.
s., who is something OF a sea-dOg herself
job sprang out of bed in a rage, his mainsail
flying and yelled:
"My goodness! I've run the port tack half
way through my foot" and the rest OF the
night he made more noise than the baby
! Hartford Post.