The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-10-17
The Mule.
Dyersburg (Tenn.) State Gazette.

I sold Clay Porter some mules last
fall and he inquired if certain one
would jump. l told him never knew
him to march up'to fence with malice
aforethought and charge into corn
field, but pointed to stopping tree
that bent over my fence, and told him,
tenderfootedly, that I had seen him
climb that tree and go out on the limbs
and swing off into the field. l did not
guarantee against jumping. This Incl
dent has set me to thinking, and know
now that the mule is the only animal
that Noah didn't take into the ark with
him. have looked over the freight
list carefully, and could not see mule
way-billed for any place. So clear
headed man as Noah did not dare to
take one on board, as he knew he would
kick hole through her in less than a
week.
The origin of the mule is enveloped
in good deal of mystery. Tradition
subsidized and the ark had lain edM On Mount afa
Ararat, Noah was very much surprised
in one of his observations to find good
healthy mule stand on the top of an ad-
Joining mountain. The same tradition
informs us that the mule is the only
animal that lived through the flood
outside the ark. The mule can be con-
sidered in a great many ways, but the
worst place to consider him is directly
from behind, anywhere within radius
of 10 feet. l never consider mule
from that point unless I am looking
through the fue of boiler. The mule
has one more leg than milking stool,
and he can stand on one and wave the
other three ronnd in as many different
directions. He has only three senses
hearing, seeing, and smelling. He has
no more sense of taste than stone jug,
and will eat anything that contains
nourishment, and he don't care two
cents whether it contains one per cent.
or ninety. All he asks is to pass him
along his plate with whatever happens
to be handy round the pantry, and he
won't go away and blow how poor the
steak is. He just eats whatever is put
before him, and asks no questions.
fl were to have large picture of
innocence to hang up in my parlor, and
l did not wish to sit for it myself, |
should get correct likeness of mule.
There is enough innocence in mule S
countenance to fit out Sunday-school
class. 1t looks as guiltless as an angle
worm. A mule never grows old or dies
once brought into existence, he con-
tinues on forever. The original mule
is now alive somewhere in the South,
and is named Bob Toombs, because he
is so stubborn. Mules are chiefly found
in the South and West. They have been
more abused than Judas Iscariot. A
boy who would not throw stone at
mule when he gets chance would bt
considered by his parents too mean te
raise. The mule is good worker, bu
he cannot be depended upon. He Il
liable to strike, and when he strikes
human calculation fails to find out an!
rule by which to reckon when he will
go to work again. 1t is useless to pouno
him, for he will stand more beating
than a sitting-room carpet. He ha
been known to stand eleven days in ont
spot, apparently thinking of something
and then start off again as though moth
ing had happened. 1t used to be th'
custom down South when they had
surplus of small da:kies on the planta
ton to send them out in the barnyart
to play where there was loose mule
They always bade them good-by whel
they started out, for they were sure tn
parting would be final.
You never can really know whethe
you like mule or not till you hear hin
sing. 1 attended a mule concert a
Chickamauga during the war. Ih
wagon train was in front. The mule
were starved for water. The gallan
Clelburne was protecting the rear
Thomas pressed him hard. The music
or programme, opened with a sopran
solo and then SWUNG into duet. an,
then pranced off into trio, toIlowe,
up by quartet, and ending with fuI
chorus of the whole army train. didn'
hear the whole thing, for when l cam
to the regimental surgeon was standln
over me giving me powerful restoratlveS
and l heard him say that I might possl
bly, get out, though l never would be
we'll man again. 1 have been in place
where it took nerve to stand-such
falling out of a three story window
and have been through the New Yor
Exchange and spent part of day IN
boiler factory, and have been on one
two Sunday-school excursions where tn
crowd were all girls, but l never kne
what noise was till l heard lot OF arm
mules bray. Every man now living VIII
drove mule team during the war draw
a pension.
Twas near buying mule once. ID
was a fine-looking animal. His ca
stood up like side spires on an Eplsct
pal church. His tail was trimmed dow
SO that it looked like tar brush lear
ing against him. He was striped G
like the American flag, and Raphael
cherubs never looked more angelic ths
, did that mule. He looked all inn
; cence, though he was in no sense. II
owner sat in his wagon, with his CHI
resting on his hand and his elbow res
ing on his knee. In the other hand
i held a stick with a brad on the end
r it. l examined the mule, and askt
i the man a few questions, and out
e mere form inquired if the mule was kin
: or if he ever kicked. "Kinde Kick
j said the man, and these were the Ia
words he ever uttered. He reach'
his stick over the front of the wage
a and stuck the brad into that mule.
). was awful to see man snuffed out
u quickly as he was. That mule simr
!. ducked his head, and then a pair
r heels flew out behind. There was
J. crash, flying of splinters, and that "
# all. and the next moment that mule a
e 1 stood alone, my face covered wi
a astonishment two feet deep, and his &C
e cred with part of an old bride. I
IS next day 1 read an account in the te
r.