The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-09-29
"NExT."
JOkers In the Chair..-A Little Sport
with the Barber...Wh Men
Love to Boast and Display
Their Wit.


ings before the next" comes. which |
means he. A barber is usually great |
man to talk. He hears great deal and
he has no hesitancy in giving to the world. |
or that portion of it unfortunate enough |
to be an audience to his endless CAB, the |
benefit of what he knows and what he
don't know.
People will have their little jokes, you
know, and it is not for me to discourage
EN-" said an up town tonsorial artist this
morning. mo, Stree. have always
noticed that when man gets off a joke
that makes somebody laugh, or he gets a
sell on some fellow, it makes him quite
happy, no matter how glum he was be
fore. His joke may be chestnut of the
most ancient character, but that makes
no difference with mel always laugh.
| can afford to, because have further obs
served that when man thinks he's smart
and cute and feels comfortable generally
he is always quite liberal-to himself.
That's what we want in the shop, and
always raise laugh on the slightest
provocation. Business is business, you
know, and don't believe in permitting
the lawyers. preachers and prize fighters
to be the only men in the world to make
their living with their mouths. Barber,
says a customer of mine the other day, do
you know why you remind me of the
BARRIERS of the seventeenth century,
No. says |.
"'Well,' says he, it's because you're
both shaver and blood letter.
Then, of course, laughed. And then
be did what no really smart man will do
especially when sitting in BARRIERS
charlie laughed at his own joke. The
result was that my razor slipped and
gashed him one in the cheek, and the blood
dr'zzled into his mouth and down on his
cravat and his shirt front and vest. OF
course, l wiped him off the best | could,
and then remarked, as innocently as |
knew how:
Funny, that little joke of yours
Yes, says he, rather funny, b>b-but
not any too darned funny"
"'By the way, there is q new fake in
town. A barber shop Is great place to
catch onto new things. II man gets
new wife, new baby, new hat, new
boots, new boil on his neck, a new joke
or new ism, We are pretty sure to hear
Of it almost as quick as anybody. This
new fake | speak of takes two men to
work. They go into barber shop, or
saloon, or a restaurant, but they don't
appear to notice one another or be ac>
quainted at all. One Of them pays his bill
and then disputes about his change. He
declares he handed you So bill, when it
was only ST.. While you are dis
putting about it the other one comes up
and is surprised to meet his pal. The
newcomer affects an cir of dignity and in
difference, you know, and says he knows
nothing about the merits of the bill, but
he does know the mau-has known bin
for yesrs-and, Of course, certifies to his
good character They tried the game on
me one evening last week. He must
have been right says the confederate.
for he is vely careful man. have
kuswn him for ten years, and he is as
honest as the day is long That's all
right, my friend says |, but it is consid
erably after dark now. Both of you had
better hurry home or you may get caught
out by storm or a policeman
That was good advice, wasn't it'
always believe in giving man good ad
vice, even if don't give him anything
else. L notice that is about the way with
most men. The other day one of my old
customers was in here and was feeling
pretty badly broken up. He had failed
in business, and bis affairs had gone to
the bad generally.
BARBER, says he, and he was yonng
man, too, I can see nothing bright in
life am utterly discouraged. l believe
win go into the country and find mas
culine nunnery into which may get my
SELF
Don't do anything of the sort, my
I boy says l. Get thee to some country
saw mill. where you can get two dollars
day and board, and chance to marry
the boss daughter"
But say, travel in this country is get
ting down mighty powerful swift. Yes
terday morning man, one of these com
mercial tourists, came in hear and says
Saturday night was shaved in New
York city. and today am going through
the same operation in the city of ROcl
Island
What says |, last Saturday night 10
New York city and here this morning
guess you'll be shaved in San Francisco
tomorrow, says l. just like that and ther
he laughed, and everybody in the shoI
laughed I've got to do something tt
make the shop entertaining, and INDUCING
in joke once in while amt going to d.
anybody any harm"
''There was another funny man in herr