Smyrna times., 1885-04-22
WHOLE NO. 1857.
Here and Elsewhere.
Russia's financial condition is bad.

russia 5 nnanclal condition is bad.
The tariff on English wool is trebl e
that on Russian.
The Mormons are endeavoring to
buy statehood.
The land of the free, and the home
of the watching
Philadelphia is fast becoming the
work shop of Mexico.
Even religion does not obliterate the
lines of d" our set"
In every closet lies skeleton-of
last Summers fruit in mOuldy jars.
Give a dog bad name and he will
soon accumulate fortune in fieas.
The coon oysters of the GulfStates
are large, and to the taste " cOppery"
In Europe there are also hard times on
the Rhine the Rhone and the Danube.
The wayward current of the Missis-
sippi threatens to isolate New Orleans
1t is easy to begin a quarrel and
when peace comes then comes borrow
ing.
The Innuits of Labrador" are fam
ishing for their yearly catch of mack
erel.
Custom makes law, and it is the Gus
tom for the law to take all its custo-
mers.
Resolutions are taken on the first Of
the year, and will-making goes on in
Spring.
Between Missouri and Washing
ton . there are more sighs than Rail
road ties.
The Pullman palace cars are 50
strongly built that telescoping becomes
impossible.
The Australians do not like large
apples, but prefer what in the trade are
termed " fine tier apples
The time is drawing nigh when the
West will manufacture the cereals into
beef cattle for shipment
If in trouble you need sympathy,
look INTO mules eyes, if to drive il
away, meet ii drum corps.
The difference between crazy quilt
aud crazy newspaper sheet is in the
man who lies between
England in war with Russia will
have an opportunity to stud the ocean
with belted cruisers.
Bessemer steel has been subjected to
the enormous pressure Of $4,000
pounds to the square inch.
Chicago as the terminus of the long
Pacific X. r., is far III advance to cap
ture the trade Of the Sierras.
The man who lives on the corners
says that he realizes nothing but vexa-
ton from his corners in snow.
William Walter Phelps predicts that
this Administration will be in accord
with party managers, bye and bye.
The only time that nature gets the
blues and shows blue blood is when
driving a nail nail is mashed.
President Lincoln prophecied "civil
service reform the " cdSuS BELLS" for
untold discomfort in the republic
In ante jellum days daIkeys
manag ged tOgct their bellies filled often
or than they do HOW on equality.
Every workman in every manuiact-
uring centre should be stimulated to
improve the machine he works with.
There is a vast difference between
now and the time Gov. Yates, OF Illinois,
inquired, who is this Captain Grant =
Many lives are lost among the very
sick from an over estimate OF the nutri-
tive value Of beet-tea, as against milk
and eggs.
The young man who has just made
his first appearance on any stage, '
was assigned the part Of running after
the doctor.
= The exodus Of emigrants from South
cast Virginia drives the " iron of sepa-
ration among some of the oldest col
Onial families.
t The maker of artificial honey who
t placed a dead bee in every pound he
e like bee-in honest.
, In Baltimore an astrolOgist, the sew
!. enth daughter of II seventh son got
: seven months in Jail for conspiracy in
+ obtaining seven dollars.
1t is feared that the cut of the Pana-
ma Canal will so alter the course OfthC
Gulf Stream as to cause Great Britain
= to become as cold as Iceland.
e The splendid switch and block sys
i tenn management of the Pennsylvania
: Il. R., is the mirror rejecting the zea
of the officers and employees.
Three bushels Of wheat to every per
p son in the United States on the first o
!. March, would have consumed the bal
To see Naples and then die,
., sounds pretty metaphOrically, but i
carried into effect will cause busines,
- to brisk up among the undertaken
!, - there.
Of 500 feet will not be the limit of the
shaft that will rise in memory of the
hero of" Genl Lee let your meu
4 keep their hOrses-they will need then
y to till the soil.
In Dakota the farmer who burns corr
ts at one-third cent pound is no more
ot extravagant than the French peasant
farmer who burns LOmbardy faggOts a
lr the same price.
er The value of the general law for the
re incorporation of private capital of the
Northwest States consists in the limit
y alton of personal liability to thu
u. amount of stock actually owned.
Miss Murfee the writer in the maga
III zines under the masculine nom IL
re DLuane. of "Charles Henry CraddOck.
at depicting with powerful pen life il
Tennessee,is a cunning young girl, will
bright laughing eyes, and not at al
IN masculine.
~ Western editor, in church, manages
Y to hear that the Egyptian army ha'
Se been swallowed up in attempting t.
n. cross the Red Sea, slipped out, fOun'
bPo his foreman, and told him to set up
re header that all was up with tn
be English in the SOudan.
The bark Pilgrim from Hollis, Philip