davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26
couRTINo BY FlRELIcHT.

How the Young People Conducted Their
Love Making In Ancient Times.
Uncle Davy was giving the boys
some advice in their love-making affairs,
and one of them asked him how the
young people did when he was spark
ing. Them was great times. boys"
he said. in reply, great times. We
didn't have no gas, no kerosene, nor no
new-fangled notions, and we done our
fparkin' by plain tallow dip. but most
frequently just by the freight. Fire
sight is warmin', boys, and fiickers Just
enough to make girls eyes shine and
the peach blossom glow on her cheeks.
It's mighty soft and purity, too. and
kinder reaches out and melts two hearts
together in a way none of your gas
lights knows anything about. Some
times the fire shined up little too
powerful in places, and the young
man would get up without sayin'
anything and put shovelful of
ashes on it, Then he would cuddle up
to the girl in the shadow and she would
cuddle some, too. and it really didn't
seem like there was anything else in the
whole big round earth to be wished for.
Purity soon the fire would get obstreper-
GUS again, and the little flames would
twinkle in and out, as if they wanted to
see what was goin' on, or had seen and
was laughin' and winkin' about it and
hayin' some fun, too, and the Young
fellow would reach for the shovel and
the ashes and cover the bright blazes
all up. And sometimes
now, only sometimes the girl would
get up and put ashes on, and then
well, boys. when the blue birds come in
the spring. and the fishin' worms
crawled out of the ground. and the boys
set on the green banks of the little creek
waitin' for bite, and the johnny Jump
ups nestled in the sunny places, there
was weddin' in the old house. and the
purity bride wore apple blossoms in her
hair. and the awkward young fellow
blushed in his store clothes and tight
boots; and when the winter came they
sot by their own fire. and the shovel and
the ashes was out of job. "-Kerchanl
Traveller.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26

don't feel like hoeing corn the follow
ing day. Any man who has ever had
his feet frost-bitten while bugging
potatoes will agree with me that It
takes away the charm of pastoral pur-
suits. 1t is this desire to amalgamate
dog days and Santa Claus that has in
Jured Maine as an agricultural hotbed.
Another reason that might be as
signed for refraining from agricultural
pursuits in Maine is that the agitator of
the soil finds when it is too late that
SOL itself, which is essential to the sue
cessful propagation of crops, has not
been in use in Maine for years. While
all over the State there is a magnificent
stone foundation on which farm might
safely rest, the superstructure, or farm
proper, has not been secured.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26
Here. near Pittsfield. is the birthnla,

Here, near Pittsfield, is the birthplace
of the only original worthless dried
apple pie with which we generally in
suit our gastric economy when we lunch
along the railroad. These pies, when
properly kiln-dried and riveted, with
german silver monogram on top. if
fitted out with Yale time lock. make
the best fire and burglar-proof worthless
pies of commerce. They take the place
of civil war, and as promoter of intes-
tine strife they have no equal
The farms in Maine are fenced il
with stone walls. do not know why
this is done. for did not see anything
on these farms that any one would
naturally yearn to carry away with him.
saw some sheep in one of these in
closures. Their steel-pointed bills were
lying on the wall near them, and they
were resting their jaws in the crisp
frosty morning air. In another in
closure farmer was planting clover
seed with hypodermic syringe, and
covering it with mustard plaster. He
said that last year his clover was q
complete failure because his mustard
plasters were no good. He had tried to
save money BY using secondhand
mustard plasters. and of course the
clover seed, missing the warm stimulus.
neglected to rally, and the crop was
failure.
Here may be noticed the canvas back
moose and strong antipathy to good
rum. do not wonder that the people
of Maine are hostile to rum-if they
judge all rum by Maine rum. The
moose is one of the most gamey of the
finny tribe. He is caught in the fall of
the year with double-barrel shotgun
and pair of snow-shoes. He does not
bite unless irritated, but little boys
should not go near the female moose
while she is on her nest. The mascu.
line moose wears a hare lip and hat
rack on his head, to which is attached
a placard. on which is printed:
s.......-.........-....-. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
wPLEAsE KEEP OFF THE GRASS.
H.--.-..-....-....... ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This shows that the moose is hu.
morist.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26
EFOR DUB YOUNG FOLKS.
THE Rooulsh PUCK.

do believe in fairies' Yes, Master Hazel.
And the roguish face grew scornful and grave
with great surprise.
"weli don't" said he, firmly. ''rll tell you
I've never seen single one, not even Santa
Said ! to this small skeptic. aged seven:
Much more than Master Shakespeare did, who
lived so long ago.
For he believed in blossom.
Oberon and Queen Titania-and 50 do /, in
deed.
"In Nab, who sets poor mortals dreaming Of
wondrous luck;
ln airy, dainty Ariel, but most of all In Puck.
"In-Puck. the rogue, the rascal, the naughty.
trfcksy sprite!
To torment every living thing is his supreme
del ght.
Hes always lurking near us, some naughty
come across the traces of his mischief every
day."
what here? You're joking with me-" cried
''You Just are talking nonsense" And he
looked severe and wise.
''who else would throw my scissors" asked,
''dOwn in the well?
And Who would thrust poor pussy's feet each
in walnut shelf
"or dance upon the shed-top dressed like a
To scare mamma and auntie. at nine O'Clock
at nights
who ate the floating island from on the
when All the aunts and uncles were coming
here to tear
who s,r was + pulled the needles out with
mas knitting work.
BY this time Master Hazel-eyes had very
As wished that Puck. the rascal, would let
us all alone;
And said that he was cruel and-wretched,
heartless sprite-
Delighted to set all things wrong, but never
made them right
A fairy whom no one could love, for twas his
To frigiten us and bother us, and vex us
everywhere.
"Pleasc stop!" And Master Hazel-eycs
turned red as red could be.
And them forgetting grammar, said: 1T isn't
Puck; IT'S me
you're talk ng of. know 1t is. Do stop!
wish you would.
I'm sorry that i acted so-Tm going to be
ri didn't mean to be SO bad. and trouble
every one;
But forgot. and everything. and then it was
such fun!
"And you pretended 1t was Puck. But that's
Just what say
There isn't any Puck at all. nor fairies any
50 answered Master Hazel eyes. whom / could
not convince:
him since.
But in his stead a brownie comes, who, to my
great surprise,
Is always kind and helpful, and he looks like
Hazeleyea
-E1edHDr A. Hunter, In Golden Dosp.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26

If had known when Ipassed through
Minnesota and Illinois what soil
famine there was in Maine, / would
have brought some with me.
The stone crop this year in Maine
will be very great If they do not
crack open during the dry weather
there will be a great many. The stone
bruise is also looking unusually well
for this season of the year. and chill
blains were in full bloom when l was
there.
In the neighborhood of Pittsfield the
country seems to run largely to cold
water and chattel mortgages. Some
think that rum has always kept Maine
back, but | claim that il has been wet
feet
The agricultural resources of Pitts
field and vicinity are not great, the prin-
cipal exports being spruce gum and
Christmas trees Here also the huckle-
berry hath her home. But the country
seems to run largely to Christmas trees.
They were mot yet in bloom when / Wis
tied the State, so it was too early to
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26

Near Pea Cove l saw strange sight.
A farmer was rowing around over his
cranberry orchard in a skiff. stood
up on the stone wall and watched him
for some time. because / am greatly in
terested in farming, and dearly love to
watch any one else who may be engaged
in manual labor. 1t was long time
before could make out what he was
doing. At last, however. figured it
out, and was very much surprised,
indeed, for had never seen horticulture
carried to that extent, and, as Mr.. Say
ward would remark, II thought he was
carrying that thing too far.
Many will doubt my word, and l
would not have believed it myself if any
one else had told me. but the man was
actually picking cranberries out of his
submerged orchard with a stomach
pump. / have one of the cranberries
at home now.-BW Nye, in Bostov
Sunday Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26
VERY TRUE. SO MAY YOU.

Young man, you say you want a wife
To bless your home and cheer your lfes
A woman true in every way,
Who does her duty every day:
Whose love is strong and good ana pure,
A love that wins and holds secure;
wife that will not scold and fret
And make you wish you ne'er had met;
Whose presence Is a shining light;
Whose counsel guides and keeps you right;
Who tries to please in Little things,
And TO your home rare comfort brings;
A woman who knows how to mind
Her own business, that's the kind;
who loves her home and stays right there
And does not run round everywhere
To gossip and to idly chat
And tell the neighbors this or that;
Who, when you re troubled, cheers you up,
And sweetens every bitter cup;
Who, when you're sick, will nurse you
through,
As only loving hands can do.
Young man, take my advice in this,
II you're in search of perfect bliss,
In weighing girls. see that you place
Good sense 'gainst beauty, wealth or grace.
My friend, you think that you are wise,
But some shrewd girl may shut your eyes;
You think you know just what you need,
But your Impressions may mfslead,
For other men have thought so, too,
But they got fooled, and so may you.
Camden Post.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

1T is the sinners who find the least
satisfaction in the revised version.
Philadelphia North american.
The Presby terrain General Assembly,
at its recent session, reported receipts of
$103.745 for the year by the ministerial
relief board, which maintains 2O4
clergymen, 279 widows and % orphans.
The Chinese authorities have
agreed to pay $500 as compensation
for the destruction of tue mission prem
ises belonging to. the Union Methodist
Free churches at Wenchow during the
late riots.
The clergy of Florida in the past
ten years have increased from seven
teen to forty, and the list of communi-
cants from less than 700 to 1894.
There have been erected in the same
period forty-two churches and chapels.
The second anniversary of the
Chinese Sunday-school Union Of New
York was held at the Madison Avenue
Congregational Church recently. About
500 Mongolians were present. There
are connected with this I'm on twenty
nine schools. having 700 scholars.
The King of Belgium, the President
OF the African International Associa-
ton, has decided to open an African
Seminary in connection with the Uni
versity of Leyden, at which young men
will be prepared for missionary work in
the newly opened districts of the Dark
Continent.
The General Synod of the Reformed
Church adopted resolution appointing
a committee of leading ministers TO ex-
anime the Revised Old and New Tesla
ments, land report to the next Synod
whether it be wise and expedient for
this body to recommend the same for
use in public worship or private. or in
both. IN. Y. Examiner.
1t is not to the Methodists, as is
generally thought. but to the Presbyteri-
ans. that America owes the word camp
meeting. Certain Presbyterian minis
tiers held sacramental meeting at q
place called Cane Ridge, in Kentucky,
IN 1900. 1t was attended by more than
10000 people, and was protracted for
weeks. This was the first camp-meet-
ing ever held in the United States. =
Chicago Herald.
-Wycliffe Hall, at Oxford. and
Ridley Hall, at Cambridge, were
founded a few years ago by the Evan
gelical Party in the Church of England.
for the training of graduates for the
work of the ministry. The buildings
have cost 100000. The fees charged
(twenty guineas) for each term pay all
expenses, except the salaries of the
principal and vice-principal. and for
those purposes an endowment fund is
being raised Of $125.00
The Board of Trustees of Cornell
University have made an appropriation
of $1,000. to complete electrical APP
paratus on large scale for the measure
ment Of large electric currents. These
experiments are considered of great inn
portance. and Professor Anthony, the
dean of the department of physics, will
be assisted by prominent scientists from
different educational institutions in the
country. The experiments will be
made during the summer. = Buffalo
ErDress
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26
PUNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

An old soldier says sudden sense
of danger will put an end to all sea-
sickness.-M T. Sun.
"A New York lady had her dress
maker arrested for false pretenses be-
cause her wedding dress did not fit.
"A tough steak is something like an
incorrigible boy. Both may be inn
proved by pounding.-Losceu Citizen.
AN Indiana young woman has in
vented q piano-stool that rests the
back" Her next-door neighbor will
now be sure to move into another block.
Chicago Tribune.
I'm de bus'ne o. life er man mus
elder go up ur come down. Oar amt
no stand still. De sun doan stay at
twelve er clock more den er mint
ArkansaU Traveller.
When man nearly breaks his
neck getting out of the way of light.
ming bug, supposing it to be the head.
light of locomotive, it is time for him
to sign the pledge. Norristopn Herald.
Hello. Dick; been to the lecturer
inquired friend as they met about
eleven o'clock in the street, outside OF
public hall. mo, but I'm going to
one now" replied Dick. as he made foI
home.-N Y. Post.
"A family physician recommend.
those who expect to suffer from hay fe.
yer this summer to be careful in main.
tanning a health status. to live by rule,
and avoid causes of excitement. Change
of place ID the most efficient remedy Of
the attack that has fully begun 1ica.
90 Times.
-Goaded by jealousy, . husband GU.
in Ohio shot professor of roller skating
in the head. The physicians left the
bullet where it was imbedded, plugged
the hole up with cork. and the pro-
lessor now skates as well and knows as
much IS ever he did Philadelphia
Press.
Poetry, a waxed mustache, mystery,
long hair and sweet tenor voice will
often make woman feel as if there
was only a sheet of tissue paper between
Heaven and herself, but it is the man
with the wart on his nose and six figures
in the bank balance who scoops her in
and makes her happy ever afterwards.
N. 7. Journal.
Bound to be foolish
Women have many faults
Men have only two:
There is nothing right they say,
And nothing right they do.
But If naughty men do nothing right
And never say what's true,
What precious fools we women are
To love them as we do.
"A bashful young man who was
afraid to propose to his sweetheart
induced her to fire at him with q pistol,
which he assured her was only loaded
with powder. and after she had done SO
fell down and pretended to be dead.
She threw herself wildly upon the body,
called him her darling and her beloved,
whereupon he got up and married her.
Boston Post.
10, l like travelling" said the fla
passenger. as he snuggled his big body
into one seat and his big feet beside his
grip in another. Il like travelling, ex.
cept that the noise rings in my earn
rather unpleasantly." Kings in you,
ears, ehP" spoke up the farmer man
who was standing in the aisle; that's
queer. Ont to my place when we want
one to travel we put ring in his nose.
CHICAGO Herald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26

The State of Maine is good place in
which to experiment with prohibition,
but it is not good place to farm it in
very largely.
In first place, the season is gener-
ally little reluctant When / was up
near Moosehead Lake a short time ago
people were driving across that body of
water on the ice with perfect i'm
punity. That is one thing that inter-
feres with the farming business
in Maine. If young man is sleigh
riding every night till midnight ne
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26

In the Bernese Overland parrot
one day made its escape and perched on
the rain trough of farm house in the
neighborhood. The farmer, who had
probably never been out of his native
village, brought ladder to capture the
strange animal. When he had reached
the top and was reaching out his hand.
the parrot called out: what do YOU
want? What do you wanta" The
astonished peasant at once took off his
cap and said: 20, beg your pardon, l
thought you were birdr'-E itzetheit.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26

Commercial Travellers Wife-.Now,
my dear. what coat will you take with
youP 1t is almost June; your liner
buster viii be enough. guess"
c. T.-"Lay out my fur overcoat, m,
heavy cloth overcoat, my spring over
coat and my linen buster"
c. Us WHY. my dear!-You
are joking, amt youP''
G. T.-"Certainly not. Pm going to
travel in New England. "-Boston Cour.
Ter.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26
A LOST BOY.


A Frultless Search and an Accidental Dis
Such lovely spring day! But dear
Aunt Molly. in her country home, was
among the clouds Not that she was
at all I fled up from this earthly sphere.
Oh! no. She was in the midst of as
dreadful fright and worry as ever had
darkened her sweet country home.
Tommy, that nephew of hers, always
into some unheard of exploration--that
child of nine summers, who had been
left in Aunt Molly's care while his
parents took trip to Europe-this inn
portant individual had been miss ing
ever s:n,e morning, and now it was long
past dinner-time.. Wasn't that enough
to put a conscientious maiden lady, who
knew but little about children; into the
clouds of. despair?
IF that child ever gets safe into his
mothers arms never will take care. of
another while my name is Mary Cheese
boro," said Aunt Molly.
They searched the hoase, she and the
hired man, who had always been right
foolish over Tommy, giving him many
q ride on the great garden gate-a lux
ury strictly forbidden the youthful pop
ulation of Hawleyviile. The village
doctor started in the search with his
gig; Johnny Smith whirled away on his
bicycle; Mary Perry promenaded off on
her roller skates; Felix Morton gall
loped forth on his pony; and, in fact,
the whole village was in arms, or more
literally, on its legs, in search of the
lost boy.
Aunt Molly wisely kept plate of hot
dinner for the hopeful result, and then
sat down and cried heartily, assisted in
her lachrymose condition by loud bursts
of sorrow from the hired girl, who now
and taen wiped her tears with her aproa
and conferred Aunt Molly with such
remarks Of the departed as these:
''Sure, but he was a beautiful by! We
niver shall see the loiks of him again.
Little did l think this mornin' when he
was atm his bread and milk that /
should niver see his swate face again.
Bridget, says he. will We give me
some cookies, phase, to put in my
pocket; for ye know, good Bridget, i
might mate hungry little by Och!
the dear child-nlvcr to have a
funeralr' and az this, an added mis-
fortune in the lrishwcman's eyes, she
walled afresh. VI
BY the time the doctors gig. Mary
Perry's skates. Felix's pony and the
other messengers had returned without
any news, anxiety was written more
deeply ON every countenance. Aunt
Molly thought Of the gyps'es who had.
gone by yesterday, and shuddered q
she remembered the long look that one
of the men had given Tommy. What
if Poor Aunt Molly!
She went out again to the great barn,
hardly knowing why, but feeling that
she must continue the search some
where, although they had hunted the
barn over q dozen times, and shouted
TOMMY in dozen different keys,
al around it Peering through her
glasses in every direction, she caught .
glimpse Of some bright feathers up in
the hay-loft-
..Now. l WONDER" she said, indig-
nantly, what on airth that old hen is
. pryin' around up in the hay-Ioft for;
she ain { got no bqsiSes up there-just
IS inquisitfve = she toosters are. II /
must say-pryins round - though she'd
fot : family @ bring pp. And what ;
lime sholsgn 1naEingacts Il she's
oauGht fest t. s0methin'."
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-09-26
FARMING In MAINE.
Observations of William Nye, the
veracious Chronicler.

Sleigh Riding and Corn HoeIng-A Great
Stone Crop-The wormless Railroad
Pie--Gathering the Gram
berry Crop.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-02-07

O'Donovsn kossa, the so-called
Irish patriot aud dynamite plot,er.
who has kept mp an incessant hubbub
in the United States for a year or
two, was shot by an English woman.
a Mrs. Dudley, last Monday. I'm
fortunately she was not good shot.
aud her desire to make . criminal al
herself will end in q sensational trial.
ODonovan will get we'll aud raise
the devil AS heretofore.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-02-07

L. Lum Smith, editor Of the
Agents Herald, published in Phils-
delphia, is waging War on frauds oi
all kinds. He in particularly aud
Il. servedly severe on Gems. Beaure-
gard and Early for allowing their
names to be used by Charlie How
ards gambling concern in order ia
lend it responsibility. When two
guardian generals If the South
openly sell their reputation to rus
tain gambling institution. the world
1T large can but have poor opinion
Ut Southern morality. The people
who honored Gems. Beauregard aud
Early by making them what they ART
deserve more consideration 1t their
bands. We heartily endorse Mr
Smiths sentiments, and recommend
every one who desires to keep thor
ougbly posted in regard to all The
frauds and fraudulent concerns in
the United States and Canada to
send City cents for years subscrip-
ton to the Agents Herald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-02-07

NEW ORLEANS, La. Feb. I. 1855.
Tue past month WAS not financial
success for the Exposition; but with
the present favorable weather the
second month win prove profitable
While q little work 10 still going on
in some departments. "the EXPOSE
ton is now complete and ready for
visitors" is the universal remark.
J. b Ham, and w. F. Blanding.
State commissioners for Maine, make
IT very pleasant for visitors 10 their
interesting department. which is near
the government space on the north
east. Some forty i've varieties Of
forest timber are seen, FROM which
many useful articles are msDufsc-
tnred. III ship building, Maine is
ahead Of any other State. models al
specimens Ut the various kinds oi
boats are exhibited together with
their equipments Shingles of pine
and cedar. measuring twenty inches
wide, slaves. boxes for fish and
canned goods. with poplar chips.
which are reduced 10 pulp and made
into paper, ere here seen. Speci-