The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-02-19
RUnOR.

TAKE care Of your ignorance, and
your wisdom will take care OF itself.
WHEN bet Of the drinks is fulfilled,
the betters are generally fillfulled.
THE successful lawyer finds his avo-
cation the most profitable per suit
Teros Siftinys.
A MAN is called confirmed liar when
nothing that he says is confirmed
Boston Transcript.
THE desire of lawyer is for brief
existence -Bost0n Post. With fire.
quent stay of proceedings.
II AN surprised, john" said an old
lady when she found the butler helping
himself to some OF the finest old port.
$50 am l, maam. 1 thought you had
gone out" the reply.
For seven years New Hampshire
man made a circuit OF half mile twice
per day rather than pass a powder
house. The other day he learned that
it had been empty for eight years.
"Do YOU see that dog?" asked the
dirty-faced man. well, sir, that ami
NAL saved my life once" did hep
replied Fogg; don't blame him. He
probably didn't know any better"
"MY, my, how that chimney smokes
complained wi Q to her husband. 1T
might do worse, my DEAR" he replied.
consolingly. "Id like to know how"
"Why, you see, it might chew" A fall
of SCOT stopped the flow of conve-ja-
ton.
KIND PROVIDENCE.
He dropt n tear on Susan's bier
He seem'd a most despairing swain:
But bluer sky brought newer tie,
And-would hc wish her back again?
The moments fiy, and when we die.
VIII Phily Thistieiop complaint
She II cry and sigh. and-dry her eye.
And let herself DE wooed again.
Frederick Locker.
LIEUTENANT-"Ther is nothing like
presence of mind. One day in battle
O soldier near me had four of his teeth
knocked in by rifle ball which would
have surely passed through his spinal
column and killed him had he not, with
raro presence of mind, quickly swal-
lowed the ball. "-Fliege'sde Blatter.
CoLoNEL-"Pve never met with
smarter drill than yourself, Sergeant,
or one more thoroughly up in ali his
duties; but you've one most objectiona-
BILE habit, and that Is, your constant use
of bad language and swearing ut the
men," Sergeant-"Sir, perhaps l am
little SARCASTIC. Punch.
The Sly Old Cockroach staggered
up to the Phony man and asked him if
he did not want good thing. 'What
is it?" New joke on milk" go, milk
is stale" "This is fresh" Lets hear
it." when milkman asks you to pay
bill tell him to chalk it down." and
the Sly Old Cockroach laughed
viciously. -PiHsba,g Chronicle.
MAMMA" said 6-year-old, as he
stood on tip-toe by the bedside and
peered at his new little brother, "where
did that baby come from" '"The angels
brought him, darling said mamma.
''The angels brought him?" echoed
the shaver, as he gazed at the wrinkled,
fdgety, red countenance. "Well, all
I've got to say is, if the angels couldn't
a scared up a better lookin' baby
they'd better "a kept him at home. oil
City Blizzard.
FRIEND-'T should think you would
know the prices of all your drugs by
this time" Druggist-"Why, do, of
course" '"Then, how does it happen
that after you filled that prescription
for that gentleman you spent such a
time looking over that book before you
could tell him the price? You were
trying to find ont the cost of the drugs,
weren't you?" 80, no. / was looking
over commercial directory to find out
how much he could afford to pay
Philadelphia Cal.
THE OFFICE CAT.
very GOOD thing for newspaper shop,
Where copy by bushels comes in.
And only quick hands can keep mp with the crop,
Or tell at which end TO begin.
And where the best heads may grow weary at
times,
SO bothered by this and by that,
Is an excellent Office cat
capable. knowing. and quite thoroughgoing.
Responsible otfics cat.
This business-like cat, i'm its feline way,
So sill, ntly wauders about,
Absorbing in quiet. by night or by day,
All copy that lies under doubt;
Aad so bosh by the yard becomes lost to the
sight,
And many a bore is laid fat
BY this sensible Office cat
This useful. laborious, never uproarious,
Efficient old Office cat.
The editor, missing some bothersome thing,
No longer the subject pursues.
But strokes the sleek cat az IL SITS at his side,
With a smile that IL meant to amuse;
His conscience is clear. and his labor is saved,
And be sure he will never say -Scatl"
To that beauteous old OH @ cat
That careful, industrious, highly illustriouA
Truly good office cat.
-APlr York Sun.