The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-02-06
misIeIlaneut1s.
LETTER FROM BALTIMORE.
II0dge-POdge.

AS so many county people take either O
daily or weekly Baltimore paper, it would
hardly be possible to send you very newsy
letter from here, but sometime hash of the
scraps left is quite good dish, if well sea-
soned. Just now the city is in pot-pourri
condition of slush, snow, parties, weddings,
lectures and cooking schools, mixed up with
Belt robberies, dynamite and earthquakes, and
we can only hope to escape being blown up
or shaken down, for from present threatening
appearances we are sure to be married or
cooked. Some of my companions are talk
ing seriously of going West to escape conta-
gion, but l never was afraid of taking"
things and am going to stay at home and
watch the march of Improvement. No doubt
you have read all about the cooking school
which has been established in the western
section of the city, by some kind gentlemen,
and l need not expatiate upon it, except to
express our thanks to them for their be-
nevoence in trying to educate our prospec-
tive wives, so that we poor Benedicts need
not die of dyspepsia or starvation itself, as l
am sure weshoud do if left to the tender mer-
cies ofthe majority ofgirls ofthe period. That
is one reason why we do not get married, be-
cause if our wives could cook and our Irish
servants take to blowing us up with dynamite,
if we blow them up for any of their small
misdemeanors, where should we bey
Depend upon it if it were known that the
Coras and Carries could with their dainty
fingers dash off creamy omelet, scientific
croquettet, delicious salads, marvellous sauces,
and the hundred and one dishes so necessary
for the comfort of a husband and his friends,
the number of weddings would increase mar.
velously."
l copied that sentence from my mothers
favorite cookbook and l think it is very
pretty, don't you? H..
A little dancing, little playing, little
china painting, little embroidery, great
deal of dressing all put together make
mighty nice girl, but for the life of me can
not see that any one ofthose accomplishments
is very necessary for wife. Give me the
girl who can darn stockings, sew on buttons,
cook good dinner if necessary, with COM
mon sense and intelligence, and will be sat-
isfed if she cannot shine at German" or
absorb all the Johns Hopkins lectures.
Did your readers all see the recipe for cook.
they ought to read it and | send you a copy
of it, Cooking husbands so as to make
them tender and good" 1t is as follows: "a
good many husbands are utterly spoiled by
mismanagement. Some women go about it
as if their husbands were bladders, and blow
them up. Others keep them constantly in
hot water; others let them freeze by their
carelessness and indifference. Some keep
them in pickle all their lives. 1t cannot be
supposed that any husband will be tender and
good managed in this way, but they are really
delicious when properly treated. In select.
ing your husband you should not be guided
by the silvery appearance, as in buying
mackerel, nor by the golden tint, as if you
wanted salmon. Be sure to select him your
self, as tastes differ. Do not go to market
for him, as the best are always brought to
your door. 1t is far better to have none I'M
less you will patiently learn how to cook him.
A preserving kettle of the finest porcelain is
BEST but ifyou have nothing but an ear then.
ware ppkin, it will do with care. See that
the linen in which you wrap him is nicely
washed and mended with the required mum.
Der of buttons and strings tightly sewed ON.
Tie him in the kettle by a strong silk cord
called comfort, as the one called duty is apt
to be weak They are apt to fly out of the
kettle and be burned and crusty on the edges,
since, like crabs and Holsters, you have to
cook them while alive. Make clear steady
fire out of love, neatness and cheerfulness
Set him as near this as seems to agree with
him. If he sputters and fixes, do not be anx-
ious, some husbands do this till they are quite
done. Add little sugar in the form of what
confectioners call kisses; put no vinegar or
pepper on any account. A little spice inn
proves them, but it must be used with judy
ment Do not stick any sharp instrument
into him to see If he is becoming tender. Stir
him gently, watching the while lest he lie too
flat and close to the kettle and so become
useless. You cannot fail to know when he is
done. Ifthus treated you will find him very
digestible, agreeing nicely with you and the
children, and he will keep as long as you
want, unless you become careless and set him
in too cold place"
Twill finish this Hodge Podge of mine by
giving you, very bashfully and blushingly, a
few of my own ideas about cooking a wife,
me, as, like many of the authors of cook.
books, have never tried any of my receipts
yet, but am anxiously looking around for
some one to practise them on. eaIt .atl "
Unlike the directions for getting husband,