Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-10-03
WHIT and HUMOR.

plain how this got into one OF your ci-
rars, said man, rushing into a Fifth
avenue tobacco store and holding mp a
little strip of calico. The manufactures
eyed II with disgust and exclaimed:
ITS those new girls again. They don't
seem to know the difference between a
Mother Hubbard and a Connecticut
wrapped! Pr PsttsbHrg Chronicle Icte-
graph
Life-insurance ageut-'Come, let me
make you out policy"
Mr.. Dusenbury- mot today, sir.
why notp The premium on $780,
600 wouldn't be much. 1t would be
nice sum to leave your wife"
81 said mot to day sir. Now | say.
never sirl A handsome young widow
with $4,000 is the most dangerous
legacy man could leave behind him. "
Philadelphia Call.
An exchange relates an instance OF
a man with q hardened liver dying.
We believe this is usually fatal COM
plant A man may have hard head,
or conscience, or heart and live for
years, but very few men survive hard
ened liver more. than 4 year or so at
the outside. Lancet.
Only eight American poets have lived
beyond the age Of go. This shows the
power Of the press. - erchant ITdueler.
A couple of Vienna doctors recently
gave q younger colleague a mark OF
delicate attention They sent him a
letter bearing both their signatures.
stating that desiring to celebrate his
anniversary by presenting him with
something be never possessed, they re-
quested him to accept as birthday
present the bearer Of their missive, u
patient, to treat him well, and keep out
Of harms way.-Neae brete Presse
There isn't fly in our sanctum. We
ran them all out. We hung up 50
bill by string, where the wind would
wave IL, and the flies that had laid
around this sanctum for years and new
or seen one, took it for some kind OF q
green monster that would catch them,
and lit out. We have not patented our
device for there isn't another sanctum
In the country that can produce bill
to try the scheme with.--EUnnsVitte
Aygas
Nurse to fashionable mother-The
baby is very restless, ma'am. | can't
do anything with her.
K. M.-She's teething. suppose.
N.-Yes'm. think if you was to
take her in your arms little while it
might soothe her.
4. Mp Impossible! l haven't the
time TO spare. am just making ready
to attend meeting of the Society for
the prevention of Cruelty to Children.
Give baby some paregoric. Boston
Courier.
ssWho did itP'' is the title of new
book by Lillian Spencer. We don't
know positively who did 1t. but we al
ways thought that it was that little
dirty-faced cuss on the next seat back
of us, for we saw him with pin in his
hand not two minutes before we sat
down, and when we extracted that
bent one from the seat Of our pants he
didn't have any pin, but he had hard
work TO keep from bursting with laugh
ter at the way we jumped. = Danube
Breeze.
The man who drives the sprinkling-
cart revives the ancient feud, turns on
the water with q start, and almost
browns the dude; tho man who draws
the lager-beer awakcns from his sloth
AAA0 aQOS ~ ~ ehNe WI hC0AAy tAAA Va ~
Is froth; the man who eats bananas
drops the Feelings OH the street, the
man who follows after fiops along for
twenty feet, and. SO on half hundred
things combine to make it clear the
heated term. with all il brings of cuss-
edness, is here.
"A Kentucky hen, while being driven
out of neighbours garden, let fall an
egg, which the woman who drove her
out picked up and utilized A suit was
brought in court TO recover the price
of the egg, when it was decided that 4
''the egg bong laid on the premises of
the defendant IL was her egg" An
appeal was taken 10 higher court,
when this decision was reversed on ac-
count of the wugd laid having been
used. "Thc hen d.. not lay The ego,
but dropped Il 80 u~sal.
Belva Lockwood never uses parasol
when she rides her tricycle..