Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-03-25
The Editor and the Book Agent
[Richmond Religious Herald.7

[Richmond Religious Herald
We can stand a book agent, provid-
ed he is Of the masculine denomina-
ton. We are not afraid of him We
know that he is coming and can deal
with him without buying his books.
He may be pompous and courtly or
may be pimpled and cadaverous; his
lips may be believed with honeyed
batteries; he may be oily and crafty
in his approaches; he may modestly
ask for 'Just a moment of our pre-
cious time;;" he may say that he only
Graves the use of our name, or he may
charge IN upon us and seek to carry
with us. He is man. and SO are we
in a small way, and we have our rights.
We tell him what we will and what we
won't, and that ends it.
But when she comes, thenis the win
ter of our discomfort We bow to the
storm, and have no remarks to sub
NIT. All the hidden resources of our
politeness are called into requisition
She is woman and has the advant-
age of us. She has seen better days,
and has a tearin her eye. She belongs
to an old family and swan in luxury
in her youth. Little cares she for
money: character is everything with
her. She is working in the interests of
literature and to lift up society. Her
book is for the home circle, and is des-
tined to ennoble the character of
mothers, and in that way to add glory
to our republican institutions.
She came the other day. How glib
and rattling she was! She had us be-
fore we knew it. She had us sitting as
erect as q sunbeam in July, and meek
ly nOdding assent to her sage Observa-
tions. We neither moved hand nor
foot, and, as for talking, we had no
chance She talked fast, and she
talked long, and she talked all the
time. After RECALLING us with the
grandeur of her ancestry, the pleas
ures of her childhood, and the sur
passing excellence of her book, she
touched us up. She did it handsome
ly. She expatiated on the potency of
our influence, the value of our person
al signature, and the well-known
warmth and kindness of our heart.
Greatness, she limited, always had a.
tear on it's cheek for the struggling and
unfortunate. And there we we're
dumb and foolish, a victim to her
spell. Time came and went, but she
went on, and on, and on We felt IA
tigued and lonesome, and wondered
how it would end. Finally, she grad
ually descended from her circumlocu-
tory flight, and lit in the region of
business. The atmosphere became
commercial, and it was question of
dollars and cents. She had book
for sale and desired to sell us a copy.
1t ceased to be question Of ancestry,
and the poetry and praise all faded
away. The spell was broken, and all
we had to do was to say whether or
MOTIVE would buy the book.
We did it as we'll as we could've
spoke in bright and respectful tone
we even thanked her for her visit-we
paid her tribute to her brilliant con-
versational gifts-we wished her high
fortune and golden future, and ex-
pressed regret that it had to be so.
How her whole aspect changedl She
patted her foot with petu1ance, her
face flushed, she breathed wildly, and
swept angrily away.
And yet truly we felt sorry for her.
1t hurt us to think OF her hard lot and
her desperate devices to stem the tide
of adverse fortune. We would have
bought her book, except that we
could not conscientiously pay an ex-
orbitant price for useless article
=@-------@..-==--=-
AMONG the coming novelties in fine
goods for summer suits will be found
the so-called cObweb weaves, a very