The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-06

hGIi dIItAl duLt VI HNAN~
which renders your company ~iatlguing,
YOU should not attempt to make visits OF
ceremony, as it Is indispensable IN vlsl-
ting. as well as 10 everything else, TO take
q suitable time for ones self a. well as
for others; for this reason endeavor TO as
certain the habits and occupation OF those
whom YOU intend to visit, and make your
arrangements accordingly you viii thus
! avoid calling at times wnen the family
are taking meals. or moments OF other
occupation; and frequently save yourself
the disappointment OF visiting your
friends when they may /. out waking or
riding. p
The short time devoted to a visit OF
! ceremouy-fcr it Is not usual to extend
them beyond a quarter Of an hour-en-
tirely obviates the necessity OF removing
your bonnet and shawl; and If You are
| visiting a person with whom you are only
slightly intimate, you should politely re
fuse, If invited to do SO. A lady paying
a morning visit, may remove a boa or
handkerchief from her neck, a bonnet or
| shawl never; for the necessity OF consult
ing 4 glass 10 order to arrange your hair
besides requiring assistance to re adjust
your shawl or mantle, would be attended
| with much fuss and trouble needlessly IN.
| CURED. If you are on more intimate
terms, and intend to p~rClong your VISIT,
the case is different, it is then the duty
| of the lady of the house TO invite you TO
DO so, and when you rise for the purpose
to assist you.
If you make your visit inopportuneiy,
when the party called upon Is preparing
to 20 out, or to sit down to table, although
1 ,,,..tol -, raTnaTp Won nnpht To retire as
soon as possible, though you must not let
it appear that you feel your visit u be
HtntaPropOS.
In visits of ceremony, if the CONVERSE
ton ceases or appears to flag on the part
Of the lady you have come to see, or II
| she looks at her watch, or rises from her
seat on any pretext, take it as a hint to
withdraw; make your salutations, now
ever, with quiet ease, as if you had not
noticed this tacit invitation to depart.
You should also retire as soon after the
announcement of other visitors as you
can, without letting 1t appear that their
arrival is the cause; as soon as the hustle
of their entrance is over, rise from your
chair, approach the hostess, and take
your loave, bowling politely to the guests.
1t is altogether contrary to etiquette to
| jdht ClAltICn' v TX dOEo W oOSch' tN''
YOU on visits ct ceremony. Only extreme
intimacy will sanction your being accom-
panied by children on a visit. If you
have an infant, the nurse who attends 1t
should remain in the carriage. or else be
left In the ante-room.
Young married ladies may receive the
visits of gentlemen, and permit their com
papy in promenades, without the least
:.-- tl1yr ran,tnt,an IhnN TD1St
however. be particular that the gentle
men to whom they allow this freedom be
men of known worth and good morals,
and be careful to avoid the least approach
to coquetry.
Widows are permitted equal privileges
with married ladies'.
In passing through the streets, you
should move with a modest and measured
gait. but with neither stiffness nor ievity.
Do not loiter to gaze in the shop-Windows
as that may tempt impeachment persons
to address you, nor hurry, as that would
iniure the grace which should always
characterize a woman. Should a stranger
address you In the street, take care tC
make no reply, hut appear a. If you haC
not heard him.
If you are to pay a visit of some days
duration at the house of a friend. take
care and keep punctually the appointed
time, as it would be extremely annoying
for your hostess to be kept in a state OF
suspense, %anxiously awaiting your ar
rival, and yet uncertain when you woulc
come.
On arriving, do not commence making
apologies for the trouble you may occas'
ion-that is in bad taste, and would APP,
pear that YOU suppose your friend could
not entertain you without Inconvenience !;
at the same time give as little trouble a
possible, by accommodating yourself tC
the rules and customs Of the house, and
by occupying the time of the servants nc
longer than is unavoidable.
\ good listener is hard to find; and yet
if people only knew how such a curiosity
is welcome everywhere, there would be
more of them. A lady In company may
promote any subject by a profound atten.
ton, which shows she is pleased with 1t,
ard by a cheerful countenance, which
proves she understands it. A polite man,
however deeply interested in the subject
on which he is conversing, catches at the
slightest hint to have done, That silence
is one of the greatest arts of conversation
is allowed By Cicero himself; and this
opinion is confirmed by Lord Bacon, in
the following aDecdote told by hIm:
when the Grecian philosophers had
a solemn meeting before the ambassador
of a foreign prince, each endeavored to
show his parts by his brilliant converse
ton, so that the ambassador might have
something to relate of the Greclan Wis
doln. But there was one among those
wise men who kept a still tongue; and
the ambassador, turning to him, asked:
But what have you to say that | may re-
port 1t? He made this laconic but point
ed reply: Tell your king that you have
found one among the Greeks who knew
how to lie silent"
Speaking orr Mind.-This is a com
mon mistake among many people who
consider that they are well bred; but it
is not a sign of good breeding to infict an
injury or wound the feelings of any per-
son. A man of sense and breeding will
sometimes Join In the laugh raised at his
expense by some i'll natured remark; but
if it is very cutting, aud one of those
shocking sort of truths, which can scarce
~ be pardoned even In private, 1t ought
never to be uttered in public. He does not
laugh because he is pleased, but because
he wishes to conceal how much he is
hurt. If the insult is uttered by a lady,
so far from seeming to resent it, he will
be the first to commend it; but neverthe-
less he will remember it as a trait of
malice.
When the arrow is lodged in the heart,
it is no relief to him who is wounded, to
reflect that the hand which shot it was a
fair one.
Pirate Matters. Matter of a private
nature should never be spoken of in pub
lie, because, in the first place, a person OF
refinement detests being an unwilling lis
tener to the secrets of a family, for as a
rule they take no interest in them; hav-
ing their own little troubles of the same
kind, perhaps, which they wisely keep to
themselves. And in the second placa