davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-01-10
An ECiitOr,S TriOuta

Theron p. Keator, editor Of the IT. Wayne,
Ind, Gdsette, writes, For the past Ave years
have always used DIR. Kings New Discovery,
for coughs Of the most severe character, as
well as those Of milder type. II never fails
10 effect speedy cure. My friends 70 whom
! have recommended it speak OF il In the
same high terms: Having been cured by Il
of every cough have had for Ave years, l
consider 1t the only reliable and sure cure for
coughs, colds, etc" Call at Luts 4 Briggs
drug store and get free TRIAL bottle. Large
size 81 90.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-01-10

An exchange notes the phenomenal
growth Of Mr.. Cleveland as a national
character, His growth in the petty office
Of mayor Of Buffalo was so remarkable" II
says, that his installation as governor of
New York was witnessed with many mis-
givings that the mushroom wonder would
collapse under the weight of that great re-
sponsibility. Yet he still grew under it 80
admirably that last November witnessed
his election 10 the presidency And, strange
to say, he has since grown more in the pub
lie confidence and respect than any other
president elect ever did between his cleo
ton and Inauguration" This is tue, every
word of 1t, yet this is the man whose mag.
nitude Of character the republican organs
used 70 declare was denoted by the num-
Der of his collar and the size Of his hat
TIpos
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-01-10
Paragraph Fiend.
Time will tell--A lady's age.
A secret still-The North pole.
To make cakes shOrt-Eat them

A secret still-The North pole.
To make cakes short-Eat them.
A wife in .law-When sued for divorce
To make hens lay perpetually-Lsy 'em
out
Women may no, be deep thinkers, but
they are generally clothes observers.
Thermometers reform late in life, they
never become temperate until nearly so.
John: You want to know how weather
prognosticators make their money. THIS
is difficult to answer, John, but il is doubt
less in prognosticating the weather incor-
rectly. It's where the prophets lie, you
know
An experienced housewife in a long ar.
ticle tells "how to save your dishes from
being broken" 1t is unnecessary All you
have to do is to put them away and eat of
tin dishes
Twas Sunday eve and the small boy stood
With his eye to the keyhole pressed,
Ana ne saw hls SISTER Dthsy's mead
On Absalom Thompson's vest
Then he ran to his parent stern and told,
And the parent stern replied:
"Therc amt no harm in a vest; slide out"
But the lad refused 10 slide.
There amt no harm in vest know
And hi, eyes flashed bright that minute,
"But isn't it dangerous, dad, " he asked,
"When Ahsalom Thomcson's in it,"
The dark horse is said to loom up in the
race for the Illinois senatorship, and sin
gle neigh may perhaps beat Logan
Chicago Times
My dear sir, you can no, always reason
correctly from analogy. Because, for ex-
ample, If red skinned apples make the best
jelly II does not follow that red.iaced
man makes the best husband -Chicdgo
J0urndl.
| A Philadelphia paper says; The average
glass of whisky for which ten or fifteen
cents are paid costs one sixth Of cent at
the distlllery. Yet the only reforms the
country hears OF are the reforms of the
tariff and the civil service
| now A STORY GREW
| There was an old maid In Danhury,
Made "A meal on the half Of "A cranberry.
! But the story IL grew
And the first thing she knew,
From a half to few,
II was stated a. true
Then gallon-then two,
| Till old Mrs. McKew
Told the news H. II true,
That u Mrs. Bollew
Ate II wonderful stew
| OF ton OF cranbcrries In Danbury.
Philadelphia fetnS.
The earthquakes continue In Spain. and
the American cigar makers and sugar
planters are doubtless able to show that We
will have just as severe and frequent earth
quakes in this country IL congress should
ratify the Spanish treaty.
Thackery says woman may be loved for
three things-her intellect, her beauty and
her quality Of heart. A man who recently
married rich wife says he finds her love
ly on account of her bank account
Commenting upon the statement tina,
whisky is good for the bite of rattle
snake, the Indianapolis Se~tinl wants 10
know whs, poor fellow Is going to do In
these holiday times who can't afford to keeI
rattlesnake.
In the Crouch murder trial al Jackson
Mich, a couple Of days ago, 20 Nitnesse,
were introduced who swore that oue G. d
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-01-10

The first sessi on of the new sewing school
was held Saturday afternoon at the reading
room in Streator, and was grand success.
Nearly one hundred people were present,
old and young, and many children received
free their first instruction in making some
thing 10 wear. They are not only laugh.
to make things, but are also given the gar.
meDt which they have made,
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-01-10

Harrington vas liar Harrington must
have been the editor of Blaine campaign
paper
TWAS nut DREAM.
Hear the sweet warblers trIll--
Sii still, my heart, 81 still,
They sing 20 me
High tenor, h8ssO soit,
on, many time and oft
I've heard that melody.
Renew the, tender strain
Encore BCOrc--again!
Through sharp and nat,
| | wakc--'twas but "a dream,
Things are not what they seem
S.s-s-s.s.Catl
While funeral procession from an All.
iona mining town was proceeding 70 the
grave yard the pail bearers became in
voived IN An argument" The oprtege
came TO a stand still ana everybody took a
hand in the affair, the local paper stating
that the only quiet person in the company
was the corpse"
An enthusiastic admirer Of Bob lngersol
boasted 10 Texas man that 1.-The last time
he spoke In our town, at the conclusion OF
his lecture, thirteen guns were fred "ls
it possible" said the Texan, land no, one
OF them brought him down.
A clergyman was giving Ralph lesson
In morals, Now, said the preacher, what
is your duty toward your neighbOr ~
Ralph-Io keep your eye on i'm.
The Philadelphia Neos says tina, hen
at San jose, Cal, recently Matched seven
chickens, each Of which had four legs
Being provided with twenty eigh, legs this
lie ough, 10 be able 10 travel
ON WHEELS
Only girl on roller skates,
Only girl defyiDS the faiee,
Only a step or two out on the door,
Only this, then something more.
Only man on the backward glide,
With hands outsIetched and feet spread wide;
Only bold dash, then dull ,hud,
Only scream that would curdle your HOOD,
Only q miDgling Of stripes in air,
Only shower Of auburn hair;
Then she sat upon him 10y the ton,
Never was MAD ~ sat upon.
Courier JuirHdl.
A Brooklyn man spilled some ink on a
rug and expended s4G5 in trying to &c, the
stain out A. he could buy a new rug for
$1.75 he is cOrrespondingiy mad, and lays
il all 10 CleVeland's election.
SnoObertOD-Ah, Dudley, ] understand
you are 10 be congratulated Il the fair
one pretty
Dudiey-N- n-no Can't say she is.
SnObberiOD-GOodf figure
Dudly-Y-y-yes Bout million,
vATERsoN's LATEST.
Ny love and walked from the play
Serene and starry was the night;
felt she could not say me nay"
Mid scenes 80 calm, 70 fair, so bright
piled my suit with ciOquenCe--
Assured her OF my fervent love;
She spoke not in her innocence;
My darling one, my duck, my love!
She leaned and sobbed upon my arm,
AS if by some great fear oppressed
told her she need fear no harm,
As her suffuscd cheek carresscd
At last she summoned strength TO speak
thosght her little heart would burst;
She said, imploringly and meek,
81 want two links Of Wienertcurst.
Courier Journal,
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-01-10
Ottawa Markets,

OTTAWA, Ill, Jan ., 1888.
FLOUR AND FEED.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-01-10

For over quarter Of century, physicians
have prescribed Nichols Bark and Iron as re-
liable and valuable remedy for dyspepsia and
general debility.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10
Evening Coifures.

High coiifures of very simple design
are worn on full-dress occasions. The
back hair is aiken up plainly from the
nape of the neck or else in French
twist, and is coiled on the crown or ar
ranged in small figures on the sides.
Sometimes stright bang is cut across
the back to fall on the neck; in other
coiffTes there ale merely some short
curls or "scolding locks" at the back,
while still others are creped and then
turned upward. A smooth bang with
the ends curled under on the forehead,
but not too low upon 1t, is now fashion
ably worn; just back ofthis there may be
small and soft Pompadour roll, or with
a low Greek forehead hefront hair may
be quite straight, and simply parted to
show its luXuriant thickness, or else
drawn straight back to the coil on the
crown. Jewelled pins are the favorite
ornaments for the hair, and are thrust
through the coil. Small aigrettes of
marabout and ostrich feathers are worn
by older ladies, and there is an effort to
revive the use of small flower sprays for
those who are young. Jewelled side
combs and the larger back-combs are
worn by those who can not wear the
very high coitlures.-H0yper'S Bazar.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10
Farmers as Business Men.

IL is popularity supposed by a large
class of farmers that none but business
men need to acquire a knowledge Of
business forms and rules. To their
mind the business man occupies posi-
ton similar to the lawyer and the doc
tor; he learns his trade and proceeds to
get living by it. This class of men
believe that business forms are unintel-
ligible, whereas they are very simple.
He is as respectful at the mention Of
the words percentage" ''draughts,p
"bill of lading," invoice" as he is when
he hears the family physician talk Latin.
But every farmer is business man. He
has crops to go to market; he wants to
sell to the best advantage; he has to
sell oftentimes on credit, and he is CON
tinually buying. To all intents and
purposes he is a business man. Itwould
seem very desirable, however, that the
younger men, who are one day to fill
the places of the present generation,
should learn how to handle with ease
and accuracy the business forms and
methods which commercial men by
long practice and experience have re-
duced to a system Boston GiObG
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10
A FIREBALL.


An Intrepid Doctor Notes Its Course Along
the Earth.
A few years ago Dr. Triple was watch
ing very severe thunderstorm, when
he saw fireball come quietly gliding
up to him, apparently rising from the
earth rather than falling toward it. In
stead of running away, like a practical
man, the intrepid doctor held his ground
quietly and observed the fiery monster
with scientific nonchalance. After con-
tinuing its course for some time in a
peaceful and regular fashion. however,
without attempting to assault him, it
finally darted off at a tangent in another
direction, and turned apparently into
forked lightning. A freball, noticed
among the Glenylowan mountains in
Donegal, behaved even more eccentric
ally, as might be expected from its
Irish antecedents. 1t first skirted the
earth in a leisurely way for
several hundred yards like cannon
ball; then it struck the ground,
ricocheted, and once more bounded
along for another short spell, after
which it disappeared in the Doggy soil
as if 1T were completely finished and
done for But in another moment it
rose again, nothing daunted, with Celtic
irrepressibility, several yards away, pur-
sued its ghostly course across a running
stream (Which shows, at least, there
could have been no witchcraft in it),
and finally ran to earth for good in the
opposite bank, leaving a round hole in
the sloping peat at the spot where it
buried itself. Where it first struck it
cut the peat as if with knife and made
a broad, deep trench which remained
afterward as a witness of its eccentric
conduct. If the person who observed
it had been of superstitious turn OF
mind, we should have had here one Of
the finest and most terrifying ghost
stories on the entire record, which would
have made an exceptionally splendid
show in the Transactions of the Society
for Psychical Research. !" Unfortunately,
however, he was only man of science,
ungifted with the precious dover Of
poetical imagination; so he stupidity
called it remarkable tireball, measured
the ground carefully like a common
engineer, and sent an account of the
phenomenon to that far more prosaic
periodical, the quarterly JourRal of the
meteorological Society," Another SPLEEN
did appariti0n thrown away recklessly,
forever = C0rRhiU M0gdzj3le.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10
FEEDING SHEEP.
aohethinS Which May be Made Profit
able as Winter Farm-Work.

something Which May be Made Profit
able as Winter Framework.
Inc feeding of sheep may be made
very profitable as a winter framework.
Inc winter harvest consists of using up
the products of the summer harvest in
Such away as to dispose of them at a
pront and make an additional profit on
the labor spent in the disposal of it. A
farm should be mandatory for the
working up of raw material thrown upon
1t into finished products. This gives
the double profit of double business.
1t utllizes proftably the leisure or idle
time OF a season in which no other work
can De done, and gives an opportunity
OF using extra capital to advantage. To
feed the farm products and make beef,
butter, mutton, wool, or pork is the
most rational manner of dispos-
ing OF them, and of all the differ
ent farm animals which may be fed ad-
vantageously in this way sheep offer the
best return. They can be purchased at
small expense the cost of lodging
them is small they are not at all
daintyo or particular. as to their feed (;
they exact but moderate labor and at
tentlon in feeding and care they can
oe disposed of readily, and they leave
behind them the most valuable
kind otmanure, returning in this shape
practically every cent of the value of the
feed. IN Y. Times
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10
A LIFE OF HARDSHIPS.
A Providence Boys Experience as a De-
serteF from the French Army.

A Providence Boys Experience as a De-
serter from the French Army.
The NeaoS printed, on Saturday, a
story of a boy who enlisted in the French
army and deserted three times. The
names were withheld because the
parents desired to keep to themselves
the greatest trouble of their lives. But
now as they have decided to appeal to
the Secretary of State for assistance in
getting their son out of the army, it
were better that the names be given,
that they may have the sympathy, at
least, of those who know the facts. The
fathers name is Simon Herion, a
Prussian, who came to this country
about fourteen years ago. He is en-
ployed in the Wanskuck Mills, is citi-
zen of the United States, and is highly
esteemed for his industry, his Christian
character and worth. His wife is a
Swiss, who lived on the French side of
the Confederacy. Hence, the father
speaking German and the mother
French, the boys (Henry and john be-
came fluent in the use of both. 1t is
unnecessary to repeat the story of the
bONo w ebiNlNl Jugs II ClOstu Nllll IuG
fact that Henry, the elder brother, had
been recaptured after his third
desertion and led back to prison. News
has been received that he was sentenced
to fifteen years hard labor with the
chain-gang. There are three French
military posts in Algeria. At one of
these Henry is held. They live in tents,
and the fare is wretched. The guard
has orders to shoot any one who at
tempts to desert. But every one of
them can be bought.
When Henry was recaptured after
one desertion he was kept 120 days in
an underground dungeon, given only
bread and water, ard a little dirty soup
once a week. The hardships through
which he has passed seem almost in
credible. When John reached Algeria
he went into the country to find the
farmer for whom Henry worked The
farmer was away on two days Jour
ney. John waited for his return, and
learned that Henry was in a place near
the coast through which John passed.
As he stated in the other account, John
reached this place to see Henry led
away by French officer If he had
not lost two days waiting for the return
of the farmer, he would have found
Henry before the officer discovered him,
and he might have escaped. John at
once started for home, and is expected
every day. Henry Herion is minor,
not twenty years of age, and on this
ground an attempt will be made through
the Secretary of State to effect his
release.
Since writing the above it has been
learned that the son John has this
morningreached his home in Wanskuck.
He left Algeria on November 22.-ProU-
dence NeWS.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10
CARRYING THE BANNER.
One Way in which Poor Men Earn Their
BREAD in a Large City.

One way in Which Poor Men Earn Their
Bread in a Large City.
''Do you want yer banner carried?"
said an INDECENT fellow to the proprietor
of a fifteen-cent eating-house on State
Street yesterday.
mo, I've hired man for the winter. y"
ON do it for grub" again remarked
the fellow.
mo, don't want any one"
"What did he mean by carrying the
banner?' queried a reporter of the
proprietor.
"What did he mean, Ell? It's a long
story, but I'll give it to you in a nut
shell. Do you see that fellow coming
up the street, " pointing to man with
a bill of fare on his breast.
An answer in the affirmative was
made.
''Well, that's carrying the banner. I
hire those fellows for carrying my bill
of fare, and I've found it to be good
method of advertising"
The reporter babe the proprietor
adieu, and was soon in conversation
with the banner-carrier. ''It's a tough
business, but ! can't starve," said the
latter. Its the only work 1 can get
to do, as I'm too old to 90 laboring.
All l get is fifty cents a day an my
board, but there are five hundred fellows
after the same job. I'm hired for the
winter"
''Are there many in the profession?'
"There are over one hundred on the
West Side carrying the banner, and
they says they's paid we'll On this side
it is new, but the boys is catchin' on.
After all, it's not bad; you get three
square meals day, and can lodge for
ten cents; there's forty cents profit"
''Do you save it?'
"Neyer saved q cent in my life;
fifteen years ago had a hotel on Jack
son Street, but the fire busted me. Use
speeding to brace up soon an get some
good clothes. Then I'll travel"
whats your name?"
"Slurk, sir; yes, Col'nel Slurlz's my
handle" and the banner-carrer, with
a restaurant b,ll-of-fare hanging from
his shoulders passed on his way
Chicago Irj6a1se.
John Wesley's copy of the Bible
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10
FnrNcH CRANE BRANDY. distilled Extrac

FRENCH Grape Brandy, distilled Extract
of Water Pepper or Smart w ed, Jamaica
Ginger and Camphor Water, as combined
in DR.. Pierce's Compound Extract of Smart
Weed, is the best possible remedy for collie,
cholera morbus, diarrhna, dysentery or
bloody -hux; also, to bSeak up colds, fevers,
and inhammatory attacks. 30 cts. Keep
it on hand. Good for man or beast.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

The reason why, | can not tell"
1t has often been wondered at, the bad
odor this oft-quoted doctor was in. Twas
probably because he, being one of the old
school doctors, made up pills as large as
bullets, which nothing but an ostrich could
bolo without nausea. Hence the dislike.
Or; 4. V. Pierce's pheasant Purgative
ssAStS.2--sPe sugar coated and no larger
thai bird shot, and are quick to do their
wofs For all arrangements of the liver,
bowels and stomach they are specific.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10
Do You w.ut to Buy a Asog?

Send for Dog Buyers Guide 100 pages en-
cravings of all breeds, colored plates, price
Of dogs and where to buy them, mailed for
l5c. Associated Fanciers, 237 S, Sth Street,
Philadelphia, Pa.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

j. W. GRAHAM, Wholesale Druggist, of
Austin, Tex, writes: Il have been hand
ling DR.. WIN. HALLS BALsAM FOR THE LUNGS
for the past year, and have found it one of
the most salable medicines l have ever had
for Coughs, Colds and Consumption.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

JUDGE Ito female prisoner)- -" You have
blinded your former lover by throwing
vitriol into his eyes. What have you to
say to the charger" Prisoner-"It is
quite simple, your Worship. He told me
he didn't want to see me again"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

How OLD are you, my little mani" asked
q gentleman of a tot who was less than
four years of age. "I'm not old" was the
indignant reply. 81 am almost newW
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

= Rupture, pile tumors, fistulas
and all diseases of lower bowel Except
DispeRsary Medical Association, Buffalo,
N. Y, and inclose two &c. )stamps for book.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

WHEN poultry shipper gets his goods
ABOARD the train he is capitalist, and has
lettn
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

MAX O'RELL thinks the best burglar
alarm is a pretty cook, as with that the
police will keep a good eye OIL the house.
HdrDeF'S Bdzdr.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

The ships that go from Lake Huron to
lax! lake Michigan during gales often find
themselves in great straits.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

The man who fell into a well, on being
asked If he felt like he was a goner, said he
ielt decidedly deeprest when he struck the
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

TIE THROAT. -" BrOUn'S Bronchin
TroobeS" act directly ON the organs of tn,
voice. They have an extraordinary effec
in all throat disorders. Sold onEy in boxes
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

"A Cleveland lady promenaded the
streets for two hours with a card on her
cloak reading; Former price, $50;
marked down to S12 to close out. -
Cleveland Leader.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

THE front steps are deserted now. The
season has passed when she stoops to con-
quer.-ChiCdgO Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

!, 10 WHAT geological formation does rock
ohe cradle belongg- SOmerUate journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

THERE seems to be a crying need for an
uunt man up late at DISQUALIFICATION Post.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

ATABLE of interest-The dinner table,
Chicago San.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

LAWYERS like long fees and brief en-
ployment.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

WIFE: I say you're real pig. Hus-
band: Well, deary, don't forget you're
one of my ribs.-Judge.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

The good dye young when they are
prematurely gray.-N o. Picayuae.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

A FRIEND thinks that the winds must be
great mathematicians because they sigh
forever
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

AcFLLY operation is kissing lady on
her snowy brow.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

WHEN a couple are making love by
moonlight their feeling is one of in-fine-
night bliss
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

WHEN a cashier becomes unsteady a de-
pos tor is in danger OF losing his balance
n. y Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

Socks with openworked heels and toes
will be worn by bachelors as heretofore
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-01-10

"A few days since Mr. William H.
Vanderbilt made a special trip over the
Central-Hudson, and in accordance with
his custom he has given to all the men
engaged in running the special train
on all the divisions handsome sum Of
money. The engineers and conductors
each received ten dollars, and the fire
men and brakemen five dollars each.
The aggregate gifts foot up quite sum
OF money.--AJb0Ry journal.