The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1885-08-08
Wnafhita Telegraph.
MONROE, LA, AUGUST s, 1855.
NARROWLY ESCAPED LYING.
An Incident in the Early Married Lif'
Oft Broker Proved n Warning.

81 declare !" observed Wall stree,
man the other evening as he pulled ont
of his pocket Il letter, crumpled and
creased beyond all semblance of
smooth "here is letter my wife
asked me to mail week ago, and !
have never thought Of it since that
time"
"What did you do that for ?" asked
an acquaintance, as the broker tore the
letter into pieces and threw them on
the floor.
"Her correspondent would have dis
covered the delay and written TO my
wife about it, aud then she would
blame me-"
uShe needn't have known you
delayed it. Lay the blame on the
Office boy"
"No," replied the broker with decis-
ion, 81 hate to lie. Pm man of
truth. 1 will tell her ali about it, and
then she can write another letter."
"That is a foolish way Of getting into
trouble"
"Not at all. Let me relate an Incl
dent. Several years ago, soon after we
were married, my wife once asked me
10 Wtllo 10 llcI Coliolh Jim anu
him 10 come and spend few weeks
with us. Jim was my wife's fav0ritc
cousin, and l liked him AS well AS she
did; bat the truth of the matter was,
1 had Just started in business, and
couldn't afford to entertain any COM
pany. 1t was all l could do to make
both ends meet and keep up appear
ances. OF course l ought to have con-
fssed this to my wife,. but l dreaded
to do it. That was where l made my
colossal blunder. So, when she sug-
gested the visit to me, Iprofcsscd to be
delighted with the plan.
".YOu write to him, she said.
'"'I will l replied.
morrow said she.
"Morning,' ! said.
uAnd so il was settled. Bat bless
your soul, had no intention of writing
that or any other morning. When |
came home to dinner my wife asked
me if had written to Jim.
".I intended to- said, shut l have
been too busy. 1 have hardly had
time to breathe all day
"The next morning she said: 'Oi|
course, you will write to Cousin James
to day.
".I certainly shall, my DEAR re-
piled.
"When / came home that evening
she asked me if l had written. told
her that was Just on the point of doing
so when q man fell dead while he was
reading the tape in our Office. The
next day this same mans funeral pre-
vented my writing. The day after
said that as l was sitting at my desk
pen in hand, n section of tie roof fell
in, and escaped with my life with
extreme difficulty. The following day
invented a story upon my partners
mother. l. killed that cstimable woman
in Il railroad accident. OF course tina,
prevented my giving any attention to
private business. Tho next day to this
l said that had sent my Office boy for
postage stamps, hut tho careless boy
allowed himself to be run over by an
express wagon and killed.
"This sort of thing went on for Il
fortnight, until il began to wear on my
constitution. Life gradually became II
burden TO me, and | was fast growing
a nuisance to my friends. used to lie
awake ut night and wonder what in
Tophet L would tell my wife the next
night, and during business hours | was
often SO absent minded that it attracted
general remark. One day when ono of
our hest customers asked me what !
had been doing all day, j gravely told
him that l had been attending his
Wife's funeral. AS the man was I'M
married he accepted my reply with
akin to doubt, ana, although |
l tried to explain matters, | only made
it the worse, and he left the office
under the impression that l was on
the verge of insanity, if ii had no,
reached that point, and he
afterward said rs much to my partner.
"At the beginning of the third week
my partner came to me one day and
asked me whether l didn't think had
better take II little vacation. l told
him 81 didn't see how that would mend
matters any, The poor fellow ,,litln't
say anything, but he shook his head
and l felt that | was
rapidly becoming an object 10 behold
"Finaliy, after killing two office
boys, burying all of my partner's rela-
tions, and witnessing no end of dis
tressing accidents, all of which kept |
me from writing to Cousin Jim, |
made up my mind that death was to |
be preferred to any more of this way of
living. One evening as l came home
L found my wife in tears.
"sOh, john she sobbed, as she