Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-04-29
PLEASANTREES


we presume he is two kings. Graphic.
No: King full
The mills of the gods grind slowly,
but they most generally get there with
both feet. adapted from the French
by permission -BiH Nye.
LOUIS REL is a poet, and he wears
his hair long. The sympathy of the
United States goes out to Canada in
her effort to crush him.-Utica Observ-
er.
"WE'vE got 'em, we've got 'em!' he
shouted as he returned late election
night. ~ should think you had" re-
piled his unfeeling wife, "but / wouldn't
expose myself to the neighbours"
LOUIS RrEL-Dear Sir: IF the earth
were offered to you, nicely tied up with
blue string, would you take it and
go away? Answer at our expense
Cincinnati Enquirer.
G. DON'T know as | make you under
stand just what | mean, Clara" said
Margaret, "but I'll try to make it
plain" "You kind creaturel" cried
Clara, effusively; "just ike you, Pm
sure. "-Boston Transcript.
"YoU say that a man is Gagged by
habits?" eyes; wired in one by one
till he finds himself in bondage" "And
there he isl" Exactly" ''Well, then,
let's go and braid in another wire.''
And clinking of glasses was heard
soon afterward.- Chicago Herald.
81 SAY, Charlie, who was that I saw
you talking to this morning?" cav,
he was man who had made me a.
slight advance on note" "Have
you known him long?" eyes, he used
to shavemy father" 'EBarber?" ''No;
broker. Gin. Merchant Traveller.
A STRANGE man was picked up in a.
lainting condition in the street and
taken to the hospital "Who was
that man they brought here?" II
don't know was the reply. Chow is
hep" "Lying at the point of DEATH"
ooh, is he? Well, I'll bet dollar he's
a lawyer" = Cincinnati Merchant
Traveller.
THE richest men in the world are
said to be Mackay 1928, OOO,OOO),
Rothschild !$2OO,OOO,OOO), Wander
bilt J SITE, 900, OOO), and the Duke of
Westminster (S8O,OOO,OOO). When
we remember that poor Jay Gould has
only $5O,OOO,OOO, a depressing sense
of the inequality of the distribution
Of wealth creeps over us.-Utca Oh
server.
CHATS lovely horseshoe orna-
ment, " remarked young Kellogg, while
calling on an East New York girl,
pointing to a horseshoe over the door
decorated with forget-me-nots end
daisies. "Pooh! that's no horseshoe;
that's Emma's old false teeth that
she trimmed up" shouted the young
brother who was behind the piano
Brooklyn Times.
A GENTLEMAN went into a crowded
store to buy some stockings for his
wife. ''I want striped Ones" he said
to the clerk. Wehave very few stripes,
sir, the clerk replied; "they are not
much worn now" care you sure?"
"Oh, yes, quite sure. l will demon
strate the fact to you" Then he
leaned over the counter and shouted
Gratis !" "See?" he asked. eyes; give
me plain colors. "-Drake's Magazine.
NORMAN J. COLEMAN, the ST. Louis
man who has been appointed COM
missioner of agriculture, has some
practical knowledge of farming and
will make good officer. About all
the opposition to him comes from
those who remember the rather ex-
travagant scheme he devised few
years ago to raise corn beef, by feeding
his cattle on diet of rock salt and
saltpetre.-PhHadezphia Press.
AT a ball at Folkestone, the other
day, Yeomanry warrior, well-known
in the saddle, replied to his partners
inquiry as to the hour: ''Weally, my
valet forgot to wind my watch last
night" In few seconds after the
young lady closed her eyes, dropping
as it were to sleep. care you vewy
tired ?" askedhe. "Oh, yes, answered
the clever girl; ''for my maid-of-all-
work forgot to close my eyes last
night. English Paper.
CARE you troubled with cough P"
asked Yeast of Crimsonbeak, while at
church. every much," replied Grim
sonbeak. Chow long have you had
it ?" further questioned Yeast. Had
it +? Why, haven't got it F' Thought
you said you were troubled with a
cough ?'' $50 l am" responded the
facetious man, turning around and
looking at the parishioner behind him,
who was coughing violently; "but it's
that mans cough behind us. "-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
A GOOD joke is told On sheriff of a
neighboring county who went out in
the country to "leveP' on mule, but
being told that the mules great age
exempted him from a levy, the
sheriff retraced his steps to town, 81
distance OF nine miles, to examine the
code in reference thereto. He found
that the mules age was no bar to q
levy, and went back and found that
the owner had awaited himself of the
interim to run the mule off.-Macon
(Ga.) Telegraph.
"WHY, Bobby, what in the world
have you been doing?" said mother
to her little boy, who came home
from school with his nose bloody, his
lace scratched, and his collar torn out
by the roots. ''Why, ma, you see,
Billy bricks called me a bad name.''
ooh, you bad, naughty boy! And
xrOIl we happ fiOhtinU WI nil