St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-30
FAIR BUT FALSE.
The Peculiar Incident Which Broke
an Engagement.

rows.of pearls" pursued the middle-aged
gentleman.
''She must be very pretty" said Mrs.
Middleton, junior.
pretty" echoed the old bachelor.
''Pretty's no word for it,"
'And young?"
''Well. not so very" admitted Mr. Mid
dleton ''Shes 50, but she has the complex
ion of 49,"
''That's easily accounted for" said Harry,
the nephew. ''What with Cream of Roses
Baths of Pearls and 'Balms of Venus
people can have whatever complexion they
please nowadays, provided they've got the
money to pay for it"
''Nonsenser barked out Mr.. Middleton.
sitting up very straight and looking around
with a general air OF defiance. ''As if my
Aurelia would condescend to such petty
articles as that! She's purity, frankness,
single-minded artlessneSs ITSELF"
'1Ohr' said Harry MIDI Teton. ''Is she?"
Certainly she is" said the senior do
YOU think | could love a woman who was
made up like an actress?"
People do" said Harry, obviously.
''But not people of my Standard" re-
torted uncle. loftily.
And Mrs. Harry thought remorsefully of
the little china powder pot, with its dOwny
puff, which she used to ''c0ol down" her
complexion with on hot days.
But really" thought poor little Mrs.
Harry, lone don't want to look as if one
were vanished all over, or dipped in jar
of boiling oil. like the forty thieves in the
Arabian Nights"
Harry" said she, when Uncle Mortimer
had taken his leave, ''do you really think
it's wrong to use dab of powder in hot
weather."
Nonsense" said Harry, with an upward
elevation Of his handsome Grecian nose.
81 dare say that desperate old maid that
Uncle Mortimer is going to marry is painted
like JeZebel."
''Oh, Harry"
''SimS says so. And Sims knows her
Miss Aureia Hopkins, that's her name
And she's wagered a diamond bracelet with
one of her friends that she will be married
to the rich old bachelor before Christmas.
wonder what sort of wife that'll be for
Uncle MOrtyr'
But, Harry, why don't you tell him?"
cried the little wife.
Because, my dear, he's too far gone to
believe q word of it,
''Oh, dearp sighed Mrs. Middleton.
"And of course he'll withdraw your little
allowance now"
''Of course" admitted her husband, with
grimace.
Its too bad" sighed Mrs Middleton.
Just when you've lost your clerkship, and
little Effie needs sea air, and Aunt Chris
tina has written and asked if we can lend
her money enough to send little lame Char
lie to this famous surgeon in New York.
Things always go contrary, don't they,
Harry"
Don't fret. my pet" said Harry Middle
that bent so low. ''It'll be all right if
Uncle Morty does get married. I'll find
something to do, if it's nothing better than
saving wood or carrying in COAL
IF believed, honestly and truly, that
she would make him happy" thought
Harry. II wouldn't grudge his money to
her. But don't believe anything of the
sort"
Little Efie had the toothache next day.
Mrs. Middleton claSped her hands in despair
''Oh, Harry" she said to her husband,
''I'm afraid she'll have to have that tooth
out!'
Very well,' said Harry, take her to
the dentists"
''Oh, Harry, daren't!" faltered the little
woman, who could not endure to see a fly
killed or a mouse drowned.
Then will, said Harry. laughing.
''Oh, papa" faltered she. Il wish there
wasn't any such thing as teeth"
While Mr.. Middleton, taking up news
paper, CHANGED to knock little pasteboard
off the mantel-a pasteboard box neatly
cinctured with ring of india rubber.
''Halloo!" shouted Mr. Middleton, whats
this? hope l haven't done any harm.
Miss Aurelia Hopkins y he repeated, read
ing pencil inscription on the lid.
Yes" said the little dentist, hurrying to
fnn
Ought to have been sent yesterday"
New set?" vaguely repeated Harry Mid
dletOn. ''Set of what?"
''Of teeth, to be sure-uppers and low
ers," said the dentist. ''Ah! you may look
surprised, but l make teeth for some of
our very best society. And if you yourself
should ever require-Yes, yes, I'm COM
ing, sir"
And the man of molars hurried back to
his inner sanctum.
When little Effie's malignant tooth was
safely drawn and Harry Middleton had paid
his reluctant dollar therefor, he paused a
minute on the threshold.
''Ah! by the way" said he. ''Fm going
directly past Miss Hopkins house-you're
probably aware that she is to be married to
my uncle next month-and if it would be
any accommodation to you l could leave
these teeth for her."
much obliged, I'm sure" said the den
fist. ''If you would take the trouble-Fve
only one errand-boy, and he is so unreliable
and forgetful that l sometimes scarcely
know which way to turn-much Obliged.
Here they are, SIR"
So Mr.. Harry Middleton strobe off. chuck
ling to himself, with Miss Aurelia Hop
kinss' false teeth in his hand.
He glanced at his watch 1t was inst
about the hour at which his infatuated ell
deriy relative was accustomed to leave boil
quetS, books or bon-bonS at the door of his
inamorata.
IF could only catch him :" thought
Harry. And, as if sent by some kindly fate
in answer to his inward inspiration. Uncle
Mortimer came briskly trottng around the
corner at that very second.
He did not see his nephew. How should
ne, when he had no eyes for anything but
the front drawing-rOOm window, at which
the fair Aurelia was smiling sugar-sweet
welcome. But Harry beckoned to a boy
who was flattening his nose in front of a
bakers window, and whispered a message
in his ear, accompanying it by fee.
''Yezzirr' said the boy, and darted
across the street like an arrow from bow
IF you please, sir" said he, boldly adj
dressing the astonished old bachelor Just as
he had mounted the second stone step of
the flight, Pm from Bidcombe's, the den
fist, with Miss Hopkins teeth
Miss Hopkins what?" demanded the
astonished bachelor.
Teeth, STRIP bawled the boy, and as the
elderly gentleman yet recoiled from the little
pasteboard box, he sprang nimbly up the
steps and pulled the bell.