davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Signal-Copiahan. (Hazlehurst, Copiah County, Miss.) 1885-1888, 1885-12-03

than the stcreotyped provisions Of the
florists greenhouse. From this the
transition would be easy and natural to
the salient question; do you admire
orchids. Miss Ap and. that being the
present fashionable plant, you may be
sure my patron knows all about orchids
I have one or two especially fine spcci.
mems In my conservatory over there"
nodding across the room. $50 that my
brief lecture upon them has been point
edly illustrated"
"But II there should be no nowers?'
questioned the reporter, with Dun
dreary logic.
20, am no one.ideaed monster"
laughed his companion. 81 merely
put the possible dialogue in q very
probable way. l have provided him,
besides. with several other starting
points. and / have given him. too. some
advice upon general method In con-
versation. Attention and concentra-
tion. have told him. arc two most
valuable adjuncts. The most trite re-
mark made by your vis-a.vis should
be carefully but quickly considered.
and replied to In as intelligent and sin.
cere a fashion as is possible with you.
Note the mood Of your companion.
too Be playful II she Is so inclined.
and the reverse II you find her serious.
Above all be absolutely courteous and
defercntial to her opinion. You will
find some ignorant and coarse natures
who will think they have overwhelmed
you with their superior knowledge. but
even they will be conscious Of the
grace Of your manner, and you will
not have lost an opportunity TO cult.
vate a habitual politeness which Is
most agreeable and very useful to
every man.
Something Of my terms' o. ! get
various prices; frequently am paid by
the month, occasionally by the year. I
charged young lady ten dollars last
week to teach her in two lessons how
to laugh musically, and an old bachelor
paid mo dollar this morning for con.
vincing him in ten minutes that he must
no, dye his whiskcrs. Certainly shall
be glad to see you professionally at any
time. Will you take little gratuitous
advice? thought So Well. then, don't
use gilt.edged visiting.cards. They are
not in good taste and are really quite
inexcusable. and the instructor s"
glance fell for the fraction Of an instant
upon the bit Of pastcboard which had
preceded the reporters entrance.
Y Mail and Erpress.
Signal-Copiahan. (Hazlehurst, Copiah County, Miss.) 1885-1888, 1885-12-03
She Took the Car.

"Do have to 60 In there with al
those cattleP" asked stylishly dressed
woman. with dog In her arms, a. she
looked into crowded passenger coach
on o day train without sleeper
"No. ma'sm. you don't have TO-" 70.
piled the conductor.
"well. what can ] doP I don't eco
any other car"
why. ms'am. you can walt at the
station hero till that train on the aiding
goes. and then you can have whole
stock car to yourself"
She went In and sat down. .--Aerehsas
Traveller.
Signal-Copiahan. (Hazlehurst, Copiah County, Miss.) 1885-1888, 1885-12-03
THE CRUSHED MASHeR.
How Young Lady Rid Herself OF Dudes
Presence.

A bright young Cincinnati lady. on
her way from Columbus to this city re-
Gently. was greatly annoyed by the ac-
lions of train ma9her. She tried to
avoid him. but he finally succeeded in
thrus,lng himself upon her and opened
o conversation.
"You will excuse me. hope" he
said. "but II can render any service.
! shall be glad to do So"
Thanks. l am able to take care Of
myself" she replied, coldly.
"Ah. the ladies always say that, but
In an hour Of need they change their
minds l shouldn't have offered my
services II | didn't think had met you
before"
II don't think you have"
lam quite sure Of 1t. | believe 1t
was in Cincinnati. Don't you recall
t?"
mo, because have been in Colum-
bus for year past"
"Ah. l remember now. 1t was In
Columbus. How stupid lam"
"Still think you are mistaken"
ii know ! can't be. ! couldn't pos.
sibly forget that face and that voice"
"Well, possibly you have seen my
face" and her voice softened.
"Ah. ! knew you would remember"
he interrupted. feeling that he had con.
quercd.
but you certainly couldn't have
heard my voice. you know. for the rules
positively forbid our speaking"
"Rules2 What rules3 / don't under.
stand"
"why. you know, have just finished
one year term in the penitcntiary'
and ="
There was no need to say moro. The
masher had gone, aud she didn't see
him again until she saw him watching
her get into her carriage with party OF
friends, who had mot her at the sta
tion.-Merchant Traveller.
Signal-Copiahan. (Hazlehurst, Copiah County, Miss.) 1885-1888, 1885-12-03
FULL OF FUN

=" Struck Down." d the titls Of .
fashionable novel We suppose the
hero kicked . gos!!ng. .-Bardefss
An exchange asks chow TO clean
piano keysp" The best way is 70 wash
them thoroughly. thcn shut tho plano,
lock 1t and throw the ksy sway.-@ Il
Graphi.
Ohio has fifteen cows with wooden
legs. Up here in Vermont we have any
quantity OF cows with wooden arms
but we call them pumpa-Bu''f"gso"
Free Press.
-"fave you never boon 70 . picnic
johnny" "No. mann; but I've seen
Jess Nickum's old yaller dog with TIN
can to his tail. and that was fun enough
for me."-Chieago Ledger.
The price Of vinegar is said to DO
rapidly declining. Probably on account
Of the sharp competition In tho bust
ness. Tuck. There must be some
mother reason. .-Boston Commercial
Bulletin.
-Czarina-"Ah mo! Life is scarcely
worth living" Czar-(earnestly)
don't know about that my dear. What
are our trials compared with those OF
an American baseball umpircF"-
Harper's Bazdr.
Country Bride (st dinner. to hus.
band. who Is doing bis best 70 est IN
-"What's the matter with tho
plums, james," Husband with WY
tsce)-"rhe blamed things Is spilled"
~ y. Independent.
Those who lave tried It say that
they would rather be struck three times
by lightning than once BY lightning.
rod peddler; and yet some people think
that lightning hurts s-Sesoman Inde.
pendent
"A boy was asked II he ever prayed
In church. and answered; ''Oh. yes. ]
always say a prayer like the rest do Just
before the sermon begins" "what do
you ssyp' was the inquiry. "Now
lay mo down to slecp"-Eransrilt
argus.
After q terrible struggle o party OF
men on Western train succeeded In
disarming q lunatie. thereby saving
other lives It was q close call. though.
Later advices show that the lunatic was
armed with an accordion. Chicago
Tribune.
--"will you please give q sick man
few cents to buy some medicine With"
whined q tramp on the station plat.
form. "Sick. are you' What's the
matter'" Been sleep'n' In barns, and
have bad case Of hay fever. Cas-.
cogO Herald
Elevator Boy TO woman who has
ridden three times from The bottom to
the top Of the Parker House)--"Weu,
where do you want to got outr' well.
indsde, ohm not quite, shure; but lsvo
me as near the JamaicI. Pisins dspot ~
possible ~ Boston 7'1rs,npt
Signal-Copiahan. (Hazlehurst, Copiah County, Miss.) 1885-1888, 1885-12-03
ITEMS OF INreRssT.

Tho original nams Of Mas saohusstt
was LAND Of Goldfish. "
Artificial oyster culture at Spring
Harbor. L. l., Is pronounced success
ITO Jarrett meaning" 70 abduct"
has made its appearance In English
journals
"A Memphis girl Q fow days ago
horsewhipped her prospective father.
in.law for trying to induce bis son 70
break up the match.-N J. Sun.
A British bark which arrived 81
Portland. Me-, from japan q few days
ago had all Japanese sailors, and not
one Of them could speak English or
converse with the officers Of tho vessel
except by signs.
Miss Laura Boyd. Of Richmond.
Va. dropped . three hundred dollar
diamond In her soup plato tho other
evening and swallowed It along with an
oyster. The stone was recovered by
administering al emetic.
"A willow farm In Macon. Ga. pro-
duces about q ton Of switches TO tho
acre, commanding. when dried. $500.
and. as the leaves and bark sell at
twenty-five cents Q pound baled. tho
enterprise pays better than cotton
Miss Moore, Of Findley Township.
Mercer County, Pa. raised tho cham.
pion sun.nowcr this season. Il meas.
urcd thirty.nine inches In circumfsr.
cncc. twelve and half inches In diam.
eter. and contained 2.lsl seeds -Rns.
burgh Post
Tho new marriage law In Pennsyl.
vania imposes so many penalties upon
the officiating clergyman who violates
any regulation that o special handbook
or guide has been issued, with which
the wary minister goes around on al
occasions y Tribune.
"A farm In Carb<, County. foi
which the owner paid $500 . fow years
ago, was purchased recently by . syn.
dicate fol- $4,000. on the report Of an
sssayer that there are immense quants-
ties Of silver and copper underlying tho
farm.-Philadelphia Times.
Elevator accidents kill moro peo.
= ple than boiler explosions do" says tho
American Maehiniss which wants .
law compelling tho periodical Inspection
Of passenger elevators, with . clause
prohibiting youths under eighteen
years Of age from operating them made
general and applied TO freight ele-
vators.
1T seems almost useless 10 warn
people not 10 take overdoscs Of opium
and Its alkaloids. An English clergy.
man. who had been accustomed 10 take
morphis pills for sleeplessnesA contin.
ued the habit against his physician's
express instructions, and one night took
. number Of them equal 10 grain and
half Of the drug. He went 10 slesp
and never awoks.
Josh Billings delivered . thousand
lectures In seventeen years, and where.
ever be went he was welcomed. The
New York Weekly paid him 800 .
week for half column Of matter. and
he made splendid profits from his pub
licationA His Farmers Allminax"
had . sale Of $4,000 copies In IL 80.
ond year. and in tan ysars his proasa
from II amounted 10 $4,000
Signal-Copiahan. (Hazlehurst, Copiah County, Miss.) 1885-1888, 1885-12-03
Sir james Paget bias been trHcing

Sir James Paget has been tracing
the course In life OF one thousand medi.
cal students, taken at random from an
English institute. He found that 2S
out Of the 1000 achieved distinguished
success; 66 had considerable success;
5o7 made . living, i24 had . very llm-
tied success. not having made fair
practice within 10 years after gradus-
ton. and Sc failed utterly. Nearly 10
per cent. (96) Of the whole number left
the profession after beginning either
study or practice; 81 died after entering
practice. and Al died when students
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

THE Brown county Democrat says
that few years ago when preachers
made stump speeches against the DEM
ocrats, and drove most of them from
the church, they we're applauded by
the Republican party. But now that
some of them choose to set up in busi-
ness for themselves and take a hand in
politics against the Republican party,
the pap-suckers of the "grand old
party" have suddenly discovered that
it is wrong for preachers to take part in
politics. And they even denounce the
churches, Sunday schools and temper
ance organizations as Democratic aid
societies. We now really begin to
doubt whether all the morality in the
country Is in the Republican party.
Don't you?
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27
THE WORLDS CHAMPION.

Mr.. Edward Hanlan, the great oars
man and until his recent contest with
Beach in Australia, the champion o.
the world, may certainly be looked upon
as an authority in everything affecting
athletic sports. Before leaving Aus
tralia for this country, he wrote a Letter
in which he stated that he had used st
Jacobs Oil with the most beneficial re.
suits. He found it reliable remedy
for muscular pains in the arms anC
limbs, and from his personal experience
took great pleasure in recommending it
No stronger proof of the truth of wha1
is claimed for st. Jacobs Oil could be
furnished than this, and it will un-
doubtedly carry great weight with al
thoughtful and intelligent people.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

To test the purity of water there has
been found no better or simpler way
than to fill a half-pint flask one-eighth
full of water to be tested; dissolve in the
water four tabIespoonfuls of the purest
sugar loaf or granulated will do), shake
well, then squeeze in the juice of half a
lemon and shake again. Then fill the
remaining seven-eighths of the bottle
with Old Crow or Mount Zion Bourbon,
or sour mash will do very well; shake
again, then insert cork and slip the
compound, bottle and all in your pocket
and 60 fishing. If you don't want to
fish drink off all but the water, throw
the bottle at amud-turtle.-
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

Since the death of General Grant,
Eastern physicians have been turning
their attention more than formerly to
the disease that ended his career. DR..
Nagle, of the Bureau of Vital Statistics,
shows that the number ofdeaths from
cancer has increased gradually in the
last decade in New York city from 4l6
in 1878 to 725 in 1884. During the ten
years there were 6,012 deaths from the
terrible disease, and Of this number II
were cancer on the tongue; forty-seven
cancer of the throat and eighty-two
cancer of the mouth. The increase OF
the disease is much greater than the
increase in population, and measures
have already been undertaken for the
establishment of an institution in that
city for the exclusive treatment of can
ial Hospital. I,,,., !. ,,.,,,.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

The New York Sun of recent date
relates the following sad story: "While
the Plymouth Rock was returning from
Poughkeepsie on Sunday evening a
plainly dressed, intelligent looking
man walked into the cabin, where
hundreds of passengers were seated in
groups, and, sitting down at the piano,
said: IF nobody else will sing, then i
will" He ran his hand over the KEYS
skillfully, and then in rich, bass
voice, sang "Nancy Lee" till the cabin
echoed eeis d with v applause. He sang four
was just beginning the fifth when his
voice suddenly failed, and he fell back
on the floor. Passengers ran to his
assistance, but there was no doctor
among them and he died in few
minutes. No one ON board knew who
he was, and there were no papers in
his pockets or marks on his clothing to
tell.O NH
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

Ex-MAYoR Fox, the new Democrat
ic Director of the United States Mint
at Philadelphia, has made the startling
discovery that there are two hundred
and ten able-bodied Republicans on the
payroll of that institution who have
nothing to do, and only show up once a
month to draw their pay. These polit-
ical ward bummers reported that they
were kept at Government expense for
the purpose of manipulating conven-
tions and controlling elections. This
stupendous swindling in the United
States Mint at Philadelphia has cost
the Government many millions of dol
lars. Bounce the rascals.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

THE nomination of Governor Hoadly
by acclamation was the only thing for
the Ohio Democracy to do, in order to
give them fighting chance in this
campaign, and they did it. Governor
Hoadly has made good administra-
ton. He saved the State both i'm
mense bloodshed and expense when he
declined to be bulldozed into sending
troops to cover down the poor work
ingmen in the Hooking Valley, and fol
this act alone deserves the thanks of all
true patriots.-Ibledo Sunday Journal
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

4 A Monroe county justice who has
been making considerable money by
marrying Ohio runaway couples, per-
formed the ceremony Of handsome
pair Saturday.. After the service the
new husband took the certificate and
went to his carriage to get the money
with which to reward the judge. Once
inside the carriage the happy fellow
forget all about his errand and putting
the whip to bis horse drove rapidly
away. Charlotte { 1fich) Leader. + : !
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27
Florida Briefs.

The thermometer for the past week
has been on the descending scale.
Mr.. Will McHenry, of Napoleon, was
upon our streets yesterday, he expects
ERE long to train the young ideas of
Florida hopefuls how to shoot.
Mr.. Louis Klingelhofer, the young
son Of our enterprising miller, on Fri
day last took his departure for Berlin,
Pennsylvania, to enter upon course of
study at the Union Seminary there; he
was a great favorite with every one here
and VIII be greatly missed by ALL
Mr. viii KlingelhOfer, salesman in
Harley's lion store, Defiance, Ohio, is
home for q Summer vacation. eI
MIR. viii Jones has been keeping
company the past week with q comfor-
ter that sticketh, aye closer than a
friend. -! .-.r rsF
An affair of much pleasure and en-
Joyment occurred at the residence of
Mr.. Joseph E. Stout Wednesday, Aug.
18th, being the occasion of Mrs. Stout's
birthday. 1t was one of those unusual
surprise parties. The guests to the
number ofabout forty, near the hour
o. half past 10 o'clock entered and took
complete possession of the house and
Its belongings and gave Mrs. Stout a
lively welcome. She was on household
affairs intent, for the time being yeri-
table careful Martha. Long tables were
soon spread and the well laden baskets
were emptied of all the things of good
cheer for the nourishing of the inner
man and the proof of their excellence
was in their rapid disappearance. A
number of handsome and useful pres
ents were left as reminders of the day
when their house belonged not to them
selves but to their friends. Fun and
hilarity was the order of the day and
all too swift sped the time away and
Brought the hour of parting. For ex-
pert wrestling we think it would be hard
TO ind the competeter of Mr.. Dick
Roberts, of West Hope, and for turning
double action back handspring but
few can excel him. The unavoidable
absence Mr.. Stout was the one thing
to mar the enjoyment of the day: when
next his friends furnish him an excel
lent and appetizing dinner and he is not
there to partake, we will give him
grand sendoff through his own thresh-
ing machine.
Miss Linnie Roberts, of West Hope will
remain some days with her sister, Mrs.
Stout, the refrin of one longing heart is
why not Miss Martha. sa
Mr.. IL. 5. Hurd who had his leg
broken some weeks ago is now able to
be about on crutches. ~
A gentleman of this place has dis
covered that elOcution is an elegant ac-
complishment and is desirous Of receiv-
ing instruction therein. ms4
Just now our grain dealers are doing
lively business. aaa "i h*5
A strolling party Of six camped in the
barn of Mr.. Link. Brubaker one night
last week:
DIR. A. 4. Karsner, of White House,
was in town on Monday, called here by
the illness of his father, Mr.. Isaac Kars-
ner. 57, 2sH H1
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27
Timothy seed, Alfalfa and 'Alsike Glove
seed at BRADLEY's. &4fs If

Mr.. EDIToR:--Wil you permit us space in
your worthy paper to say to your numerous
readers that the Sabbath School Association
of Damascus and Harrison township held its
annual convention on the 18th of August, 1856
in Damascus twp, near Mcclure, o. The
morning was damp and not very encouraging
for gathering in grove. By 10 o'clock a.
m. a large number of teams with well loaded
wagons might have been seen pressing on
ward toward the beautiful grove; at near
1880 o'clock the convention was called to
order by the President, Rev. A. Philpott.
Soon the woods were made to resound with
song, as hundreds of voices in unison arose:
stAll Hail the Power of Jesus Name" after
which prayer was offered by Rev. 8. A..
Myers. A hearty welcome was given to all
by the president, who now introduced to, the
convention Rev. G. Mathers, of Wooster, o..
to address the convention. He said that 20
years had passed away since the time when
as pastor he was among us. He spoke of the
changes that had occurred during those years.
But why attempt to follow him or rehearse
his language. For almost one hour he held
the convention in silence, listening 70 the
mastery thoughts uttered by him. His ad-
dress will live in the memory Of many who
heard him. Again the voice Of song was
heard, after which dinner was announced,
and social groups were soon gathered be-
meath the leafy foliage to, partake of richre-
pasts. An hour or two swiftly passed away
and again the convention was called to Or
der. Thei ssoretary, Mr.. >Erwen, gave us
some cheering reports of the different schools
IN the township hg sAtl aulG afBE 10eiaB 4
z Mt, Avery, PRECEDENT Of the Weston town
8LAS p . 0iy y u, ii lal9 A si 81 Rr.s Az -yls
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27
Do You Know q Man

Whose wife is troubled with debility,
nervousness, liver complaint or rheu-
matism? Just tell him it is pity to
let the lady suffer that way, when
Browns Iron Bitters will relieve her.
Mrs. l.. B. Edgerly, Dexter, Me-, says,
Browns Iron Bitters cured me of de-
bility and palpitation Of the heart.n
Mrs. II. 5. Mclaughlin of Scarborough,
Me-, says the bitters cured her of debili-
ty. Mrs. Harding of Windham Center,
in the same State, says it cured her of
dizziness in the head. So it has cured
thousands of other ladies.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

Bernstein's One Price Clothing House is
undergoing a general renovating and over
hauling, in order to be better prepared for
the approaching fall trade. We have also
marked down large line of suits and single
coats and pants to lower prices than were
ever before reached. The goods must and
shall be sold to make room for our large new
fall stock now beginning to arrive.
2t s, BERNSTEIN,
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

"My little boy" said gentleman,
"you ought not to eat those green ap-
piles. They are not good for little boys"
"They amt, eh?" the boy replied with
his mouth full. "Guess you don't know
much about 'em, mister. Three of
these apples III keep me out of school
for a week.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

Do you wish beautiful complexion?
Then use Ayers Sarsaparilla. Itclean-
ses and purifies the blood, and thereby
removes blotches and pimples from the
skin, making it smooth and clear, and
giving it a bright and healthy appear
ance
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

A flash of lightning entered the
house of Walter Sears, Willimantic,
Me. killing two children aged three and
five. Their mother, who was sitting
near them, was knocked senseless; a
child in her arms was unhurt.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

A London journal, quoting statistics
to back it up, presents as moral para
d0x the statement that the most poorly
paid working girls in the metropolis are
those engaged lin the work of sewing
and binding Bibles. It adds that ..for
every heather abroad who can be in
dleed to use the sacred volume for any
thing else than gun waddinga dozen Of
these girls are driven to perdition at
home. .ntii et'pflisasils h6i,lci 9tll sa
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

Marriage in High Life.-Judge:
"John Henry, do you take this woman
to be your welded wife?' Bride: $50
you ask him if he takes me to be his
wife? r 1 guess you had better ask me if
! take him: He is only an editor, and
1--we got $47 laid up" jt.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27

Now is the time for school directors to look
after the school houses and school grounds
and see that they are in proper condition. No
school house is fit to be occupied by children
unless it be well cleansed, painted and thor
oughly aired. Dingy school houses and dirty
school grounds are bad educators.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-08-27
Toledo's Big Fair.

Toledo's Big Fair. -, - ~
The Tri-State Fair occurs at Toledo, Sep
tember Z to u, inclusive, and there will be
excursion rates over all railroads for those
wishing to see the big show. Premiums and
purses amounting to $40, 200 90 will be given,
aud entries already in promise the biggest
exhibit ever on the grounds. Magnificent
special features daily. $1,000 in purses for
races. j.. ,.a2- rrstt tH.r.5 3t