The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-08-13
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

! "A compiler of statistics announces
that there are 10000 21ongolians in the
Masonic order.
The Japanese cultivate the cherry
mainly for the blossoms. We cultivate it
mainly for the robins and the neighbo rs'
small boys.-LOUeU Courier.
An ordinary woman waist is thirty
inches around. An ordinary mans arm
is about thirty inches long. How adj
mirable are thy works, . nature.
Toronto Mail.
"A New York dentist says that women
who gossip a great deal lose their
teeth soonest by decay, but this asSer-
ton won't stop female tongue for ten
seconds. Detroit Free Press.
"A professor of natural history says
animals frequently cry. This is not to
be wondered at. 1t must be an awful
strain on the feelings of a sensitive pug
to have to walk on the street tied to a
dude.-M. Y. Graphic.
"A scientific journal SAYS that many
diseases are spread by the circulation of
bank notes. This is an important an
houncent and people generally should
be careful how they receive money
oil city Derrick.
The United States have more than
three times as many miles of telegraph
line, double the number of telegraph
offices, and forward twice as many tele-
grams annually as any other country on
The globe. Russia comes next.
Somebody SAYS: "All the vexaton
and unsatisfactOriness of shopping
comes from going forth with no clear
idea of what is wanted" But that is
not it. The women know what they
want. The trouble is that they can't
buy the earth for fifty cents.-BOston
Transcript.
My son." said a father gravely,
handing the youth some money. do
you know why ten-dollar bill is car
rier pigeon?" Certainly, father" re-
piled the youth. pocketing the money.
1T flies SO fast after it is once broken"
Chicago Tribune.
-"Ah. William" said an old LAWYER
to Mr.. w. w. Story, the sculptor. ito
think you might have followed in your
fathers footsteps! You might have
been a great lawyer-you had it in You
and you chose tostay on here in Rome
and pinch mudr'
-Ella-''What do you think of that
for a photograph, Mary?n 1t makes
me look like fool, l think The pho
tographer told me to look natural:
something | never could do when am
told to DO it." Mary-"Why. Ella.
tbinl- Won SuooooJad oJ-,,;-obI,,,; De-
ION Post.
There is a note want you to hand
to Mrs. Lively when YOU are sure no.
body is looking" said a New York
society man to a colored servant at a
fashionable Fifth Avenue residence.
Yes sab. " replied Sambo. showing his
worries. But. mind you. don whisper
a word to living soul" You kin
jess rest easy about dat, boss. Yester-
day fetched dat ar same woman let
ter from anudier gemman. an l amt
said word to nobody yit. You kin
jess rest easy about hit. "-Erchanqe.
-'Ah. job" said Mrs. Shuttle, as
she wiped her glasses. Il see that the
Goddess of Liberty has arrived in this
country" ''Yes, yes" replied Job.
Now if l could be sure that the God
dess of Liberty could be induced to pre-
side over our little household / should |
be happy" ''Job Shuttlei Aren't vou
ashamed of yourself? What more lib.
erty do you want? You were at the |
lodge three nights this week and at a
baseball game every afternoon. Do |
you want to make your life one grand
oaturnaliaen With your permission, -
neekiy replied Job.-Harsord Post.