davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06
Arranging Chnirs.

Anna l.. Dawes says in Good House.
Keeping: 1.-THE majority Of women de-
termine the arrangement of the chairs
by the wall, more or less obviously.
There is sofa across one corner of the
room, and in the angel is a small chair;
an easy chair guards window, and
another fills up the corner made by the
piano, while two smaller chairs of diff
ferent species flank the bay window. If
there is table in the centre of the floor,
another chair plants itself firmly beside
that Otherwise and more commonly,
the middle of the room is left vacant
Now suppose visitors appear, One sits
on the sofa across the room
from the hostess, and the other, at an
equal distance from the social pole
looks out of the window What posi-
bility of conversation is there in this
talking across spaceg The situation is
still worse when tea party occurs.
The guests literally line the room. The
chairs are like those pockets in we'll
ordered work bag which separate the
different articles When Mrs A. breaks
through her natural timidity sufficiently
to suggest that the day has been hot,
the company draws its breath as it does
when the man ut the circus throws
knives-no one knows where the re-
mark will hit. And Mr. b., who
would have been charmed TO answer
with the corresponding temperature of
Il year ago, dares not venture such
statement in the face of the brilliant
Miss c., who sits at another arc of the
awful circle, But if, by some good
chance, those chairs had settled near
each other, the blessed weather would
have occupied something more than n
bad quarter of an hour, and similar
result having been achieved elsewhere,
the social ball would have rolled too
briskly to need any attention from the
hostess.
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06

WE SHOW the most complete stock of
clothing in the city. If you will take n
look through our building you will find a
veriilcation of what we say. Eiseman
Bros, corner Seventh and L streets, manu-
featuring clOtliers
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
The Oldest Surviving Graduate Of
West Point.
AN INTERESTING HISTORY.
Familiar Talk About Lunch Time in
Washington.
SHERMAN FOR PRESIDENT.
The Patient Walters of the District
Democracy.
mo SAIL FROM DAY TO DAY"
mo SAIL FROM DAY TO DAY."

81 think the Texas liar must have
removed to Nebraska" said one-lcgged
General Robert Avery, U. S. A., the
other evening to New York TriJuRe
reporter. ole processes to have dis
covered the soul of man by examina-
ton of onc-limbed people through the
microscope Now have but one leg.
| will admit that when | lost it sensa-
lions appeared to be transmitted to the
brain from apparently the same places
where the knee, toes or other parts of
the leg should be. But after a time
the cords healed up at the stump and
gradually n change came. To-day
have no sensations from an imaginary
foot or leg, but all come from the tip
of the stump in such a way that | can
accurately locate them. | am practi-
cal illustration of the fact that the
Texas liar still lives and works off his
annual sensation on the press"
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06
THE TRAVELLERS GUIDE.
ways and Hours OF Getting In nnd
Out OF washington.

WAYS and EOura OF Getting In nnd
Out of yynsI,inptou.
.,,c,,,,, ,,..,.., .,...,...
b I.'l' ~ 1890 i,h Oh nni'ronu srnin .
from hhi more "a F"'OHh'c DcP"''
SiN'h anu Is Streets
For Boston, u. IN. without change of
cars)
For NetU IOrk--1215, 715, $50 $40
Nhmited) and If a. m; 9, 4
and 10 y. m.
For Philadelphia-7.l5, $50, $40 and II a.
m; 2. 4, g and 10 y. m.
For B0Nimmc-G.35, 7.i5, $50, $40 and If
am; 1905, 2, /, 4;2j, $40, q
For Chicago, Cincinnati ant 81. Louis-9.lO
a. IN. and 7.lO p. IN.
For Buffalo, EiUira and WdfrisbUg-g
q. IN. and Top. IN.
For Anadpots-6;3j Il. M, 1908 and Ai25
H.. p,...,. ,; Pm H.. -,s ,,o
r" ropes creek L'"o-''lo " H., i'iV
p. III.
u.. ,.,,... d, ~. ,..,
BcpOt. Corner New Jersey avenue
and q street.
For Baitiptorc-5, GlO. GAO 1880. $50 and
1905 a. m; 1910. los, 3l5.
$3.50, $3.50, 40 $40, $40, 1926
andl1 p. IN.
For 1nndpOiis--G40 Sundays S:30) a. m;
For Point Of Rocks. FrCderick-7:25 n. M
41o ana lli5 p. IN. ,
fOf HdfPT fGIy dtd ShcH"n"odh 'uHeg
oi pilu o'@o IL in' ooo
H.. ,,.,,L..n'Iliuo Jay =, NJ al,,,o nod 90. -
y" uo''"e'SoIy 90 az 81. S,u o' "a, ~
~ 80, INV o''Vi Jaw "''"
For Ch}cdgo-1O u. m, 1910 p. m.
For Pittsburg-lO n. m, $40 p m.
Tor Nc0 Orleans (cNpress) u. m.
F~ C"ic"Hdtll LoluSr'ne ana 81 LOUIS
0'ou ana lO.lV p III.
y.,,. .,..,-...- ,,--.,..,.,..,.,.
FROM eicNnhartn y EreusriciaSo''T ~
ma HicNhilGri" I" hsnihs,oh ~
IL, sixth ana Is streets, baltimore
POtOmnc Depot.
For Alerdndrid-6, T. 0:25, l1:0l, 1l;35 a.
m; 300, 4:26, iA5, 6:25, sos
ana 10y p. IN.
For Richmond and the SoHh-6 and 11:0l
Il. M, and 1:I5 p. III.
~ -.
from Shesapeakc q ONO hn'ironu'
Fotomac Depot.
for Cmcnndt', ~. LOUIS ana SoWh-ll:lo
r.. r., I'LL, II. H. N,lu o'iV i, III. $500, AZ
~" 4''' -'O, f,yt iitt'oPvr' 4''''' '''" Avn
'O'" = ~ ni'
FROM w hr"ihEion' Ohio Z" Western
H. h'' sixth ana IL streets Baiti-
IN nv and i15 n ~, Tho S,,n-
dev morning train running only
TO Leesburg.
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06
Important Notice.

On and after Tuesday, the 9TH instant, pas
sengers from Washington to Annapolis can
leave the Baltimore IL Potomac Railroad
station at Tl5 a. M, instead of G35 a. IN. as
heretofore. This arrangement viii give
visitors ample time in the morning, and
also avoid any delay at Odenton, the juno
tion of the Annapolis IL Elkridge Railroad,
arriving in Annapolis at sos a. M
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06
STEAMBOATS,.

FIO NORFOLK AND FORT MONROE. TIE
1 POPULAR ROUTE L. S. Mail. steamer
GEORGE LEARI Monday, Wednesday and
Friday from foot Of 1th st., NJ $50 p. M
secure rooms and tickets at Baltimore n Ohio
Offices, 1851 and $40 Pa. ave, ST. Marc Hotel
and Knox Express, COB Pa. ave, who will also
check baggage from hotels and private resi-.
Gcnces For further information inquire az
Iumgany,s ohce, Nh 81. wharf Telephone
call 74b-3.
scgG WILLIAM P. wELoH, Gen. Agent,
7 OW FARES
IL Fortress Monroe and Norfolk.
First'ClHss fare ~; kound-trip y -,
stenmer Jane Musclcy Monday, Wednesday
and Saturday az b:Su p. IN
Passage and rooms secured AZ general office,
Sixth street wharf, Telephone call o.
Potomac River Landings steamer lhomp-
son Monday, Wednesday and Friday 40 am,
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06

have no sensations from an imaginary
foot or leg, but all come from the tip
of the stump in such way that | can
accurately locate them. | am practi-
cal illustration of the fact that the
Texas liar still lives and works off his
annual sensation on the press"
~n@
General L. G.. w. Butler, who re.
sides with his son, Mr.. l.. l.. Butler, on
Union avenue in ST. Louis, has been
officially advised that he is the oldest
surviving graduate from West Point.
General Butler was warm personal
friend of the late General Robert L.
Lee, to whom he was also related, and
during his lifetime was in frequent cor
respondence with the great Confeder-
ate chieftain. General Buffers own
career, says the st. Louis Republican,
has been most interesting one. AS
stated above, he is the oldest living
graduate from West Point. He was
born at Telico, in East Tennessee,
February %, 1900, few months after
the death of General Washington. He
is consequently in his seth year and
still quite hale and vigorous. He was
educated along with General w. S.
Harvey at Parson Craighead's school
near Nashville, and entered West Point
in 1916. lie graduated in 1920, stand
ing eighth in his class, and was made
adjutant of an engineer corps. He was
detailed for duty at Baton Rouge, AMI
accepted the appointment although
yellow fever was raging there at the
time. In 1926 he married Frances
Parke Lewis, who was daughter of
Lawrence Lewis, George Washington S
nephew, and of Eleanor Parke Gusts, II
grand daughter of Mrs. Washington.
He was then stationed at Cincinnati as
aide-de- camp TO Major General Gaines,
and in that capacity issued the order
for the construction of Jefferson bar
racks in this city, Colonel John
O'Fallon executing the order. In
1881 he resigned from the army
and engaged in sugar planting
in Louisiana. He was appointed
Dragons, one of the regiments raised
for the Mexican war. During that
struggle he served under General Tay-
Tor on the lower line, remaining in
Mexico until the termination of the
war. After disbanding his regiment at
st. Louis he returned to his plantation
and remained there until 1871, taking
no active part in the civil war He
came to st. Louis in 1878, and has re
sided here ever since. His eldest son,
Major Ed. G.. w. Butler, jr., was killed
at Belmont, November 8, 1861, while
serving under Major-General Leonidas
Polk, as major of the Eleventh Louisi
ana Volunteers, provisional army of
the Confederate States. The second
son, Lawrence Lewis, of Butler, was
major of Infantry under Polk. He Is
now member of the firm of Edward j.
Gay & Co. of this city. The other
children are Mrs. George Williamson,
wife of Colonel Williamson, minister
to Central America during Grants al
ministration, and Mrs. w. B. Turnbull
of Louisiana
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06

AT RuDDEN's new furniture and carpet
instGllment house, 932 seventh street north.
west, furniture, carpets, rugs, mats, oil
cloths, mating, baby carriages and every
thing which huusekeeper requires to make
home pleasant and attractive are sold ON
the installment plan, Call aud be convinced
that lie sells ON easier terms aud at lower
prices than any other man or firm in the
installmCnt business. Terms to suit all
MARRIEp.-IIappy couples in search of
housekeeping outfits. Call at Breitbarth's,
Odd-Fellows' Hall Furniture Warehouse.
"Aiderney Dairy Wagons
Fresh Alderney butter, churncd every
morning and delivered in A ID. "Wardh
prints, Sic per H. Also cottage cheese,
buttermilk and sweet milk, sc. per at.
Cream, l5c. per pint.
PANTS to order$5 andu Elseman, 7S Il.
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06
"Aiderney Dairy Wagons

PANTS to orler$5 and up Elseman, 7S e,
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06
From Washington, Ohio Il Western
II. r., sixth and IL streets, BaIti-
more * Potomac DepOt.

For Alexandria, Loesbtrg and Round Hill
Ga. m. and i:25 p. m, the Sun
day morning train running only
to Leesburg.
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06

From Chesapeake * Ohio Railroad.
sixth ana u streets, Baltimore *
Potomac Depot.
For Cincinnati, 81. Louis and iSouth-l1I5
u. IN. and 5:i5 p. III.
For Fort Monroe, Newport NeJVs and Nor
fOlk-ll Il. III.
The Washington critic., 1885-10-06
ARRIVAL OF Trains at Baltimore
q Potomac Depot by Baltimore ~

Ely Alexandria ~ Frederick sburg.
and Alexandria q Washington
Railroad.
From Alegandria-12,1O, COS, s, 10, 1910,
n. m; /, 3:05, 1923, $40, 7:05
and 1875 p. III.
From Richmond and he S0uth-l0I0 a. m; ;
1923 and ll:35 p, III.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23
The Ingenuity of a Hired Girl.

Talking of snoring" said Colonel
Dunlap. ''it came very near being the
death of my grandmother once.
"lIow WAS that?' asked Orator Per-
kins.
well, you see. the old man had to
serve on the jury once, and it was the
first time he had been away from home
over night in thirty years or more
I nc old lady had got so used to his
snoring that she couldn't get a wink of
sleep without it. For three nights she
tossed from dark till dawn, without
closing her eyes, and | certainly be-
lieyc she would have been dead before
the old man got back if it hadn't been
for the ingenuity of the hired girl
'.Why. what did she do?'
"Weil, sir. she got out the coffee mill
and ground shelled corn. with an oc-
casional sprinkling of gravel in it, all
night, and the old lady went to sleep
right away and slumbered as peacefully
as deacon in church the livelong
night.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23
He Saw the Falls.

At the Falls of Montmorency, below
Quebec, there is hotel by the roadside
where you pay twenty-five cents to a
woman who can't talk English and in
consideration of this you are allowed to
see the falls. A young fellow paid just
as ! left the house to walk across the
fields to the steps in front of the falls.
He came running after me. He was
very anxious to see them. He had
walked all the way from Quebec-about
nine miles-and now his impatience
was getting the better of him.
"You paid first" he said, "but would
you mind my going down the steps
ahead of youP"
mot at ALL" l said. II guess,
though, the steps are wide enough for
two to go down"
Il suppose so, but l want to get
there before a crowd comes. | hate
crowd. | want to enjoy the falls alone.
at is too late in the season for a
crowd. | don't suppose anyone has
been here for month"
AS we came to the long stairway he
hoped merrily down, two stairs at
time. Suddenly his feet went out from
under him and he went down the stair,
which is very steep, in sitting pos
ture, giving a shrek every time he hit
a new step. There were several plat
forms, but he shot over them with in
credible swiftness in spite of all his eff
forts to stop, and at one time | thought
nothing would save him from going
right down into the current. However,
he flung his arms around one of the
railing supports and hung on there
seemingly panic stricken till reached
him. / found that after the first few
top steps the rest had been covered
with spray that had frozen and made
every step as slippery as glass. 1t re-
quired good deal of caution and a
persistent clinging to the rail to get
down in any other way than the some
what hurried plan my new acquaint-
ance had SO thoughtlessly adopted.
You are too impatient" | said sooth-
ingly. "You shouldn't have done that.
Do you think twenty-five cents pays
for such wear and tear of the steps as
you put them to. This is not tobog-
gaming slide you know"
For Heavens sake, he cried, chow
am | to get up again?"
II guess wen both get up the same
way. Hang on where you are and look
at the falls.
''Fallsl" he said in disgust. I've
had about 500 separate and distinct
falls. Falls enough to last me until
next season. When | visit Montmor-
ency again it will be in summer
And with that he crawled up on his
hands and knees. and | saw him no
more. Detroit Free Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23
Kahn's Price for Making n viii.

Gen. Butler and Mr.. +. j. Dupignac
spent many hours recently in MIR. Ash
bel Green's office in trying to get ex-
plantations from MIR. Aaron Kahn as to
the promiscuous entries and erasures
in his cash-book in the accounts against
Mrs. and Miss Hoyt. Mr.. Khan could
not furnish any information as to the
income he derived from his profession;
was uncertain as to what cases he had
tried, and pleaded ignorance about the
fees he had received. One charge APP
peared in the book which almost decid-
ed Gen. Butler to close his office in
Boston and open one in New York. 1t
was charge of 5000 for drawing up
Mrs. Hoyt's last will and testament.
Here is young man." said the
general, who never drew up will be-
fore, had never been in the surrogate's
court till employed in this case, and he
charges $4,000 for drawing up will
for one of his clients
Age and experience have nothing
to do with it. - replied Mr. Robert Sc
well. William Pitt supplied England
with some of the most glorious pages
of her history when he was still in the
twenties.h
Pardon me" replied the general,
"age and experience have definite
value in the legal market, though own
youth sometimes gets away with the
doodle. The last will man signs is
often the worst, as in the case we are
trying; but the first will lawyer
draws up is never his best, unless it is
the only one.n
Lawyer Kahn moved uneasily in his
chair, and large collection of diamonds
scintillated on his persons as Gen. But
Ter commenced to criticse his English.
wv hat he done" and "what he seen,
expressed in writing and speech, took
the referees breath away, while the
''hull of the matter almost Frustrated
the general, who gave the learned law
yer brief lecture on Lindley Murray.
When asked question rs to certain
entries, Mr.. Kahn said he preferred to
wait till Mr.. Sewell. his counsel, re-
turned. Gen. Butler, who had not no.
ticed that Mr.. Sewell had left the room
and that Mr.. A. NJ. Alexander had TAX
en- his seat, turned to the referee and
said:
ITO whom shall apologize, your
honor, to Mr.. Alexander or to Mr.. Sc
well? That reminds me-" he contin-
ued, "of case that happened IN Wash
ington many years ago. There was a
congressman from Ohio called Sawyer,
and nicknamed Sausage Sawyer, be-
cause he was always eating sausages
behind his chair in the house. One day
circus arrived in Washington. David
Crockett went to it, and for the first
time saw baboon. He turned to a
friend on one side of him and said, How
like Sausage Sawyer, and turning to
the other side there he found Sawyer.
Sawyer demanded an apology. All
right, replied Crockett, i apologize
to the monkey.
''Well, as l am present and Sewell is
not, | think you had better apologize
to me, said Mr.. Alexander.
Very well, replied the general;
but-but don't tell Sewell did so. y
NeiO YORK Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23

We are pleased to see that our sug.
gestion to The GAINESVILLE Gazette, as to
the propriety of cutting down the num-
Der of its articles on the weather, has
been in measure statutory. Two weeks
ago The Gazette contained seven articles
on the weather, last week six and thisweek
but five. We cannot speak too highly
of this judicious action on the part of
The Gazette. The publication of from
seven to ten articles on the weather.
long continued, has no doubt fed and
built upon an abnormal appetite for this
sort of thing among The Gazette S
weekly subscribers, and the gradual re-
duction of the stimulant is the only
course possible under the circumstances.
To cut the whole thing off at once
would be to invite the most serious con-
sequences. The older subscribers, who
have taken the paper since its first is
sue, would be raving with the jams in
less than week.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23
Political Points.

Chicago Herald: One of the pickets
on the borders of civilization, tho es-
teemed Solid Muldoon, of Ouray, Colo,
has long article headed "Damamug-
wump." From a careful perusal of the
production it is to be inferred that the
writer had just got home from Wash
ington on foot.
Napa Register: A contemporary re-
marks that most ladies that go shopping
would like to buy the whole earth. But
If they make the purchase and had it
wrapped up to be sent home, the sales
man would ask Anything else?n
Brodhead Register: I'VE have got
to practice the most iigid economy at
such time as this, remarked man
to crowd on the sidewalk. II have
stopped all the papers for which
formerly subscribed, and don't buy
candy. toys and such trumpery for the
children. Times are hard Come in,
boys, and take drink
The Gila Howler: 1--WE have decided
to put to vote the question Who is the
Greatest Liar in the TOWN. under the
following conditions: An election box
has been fitted up in our sanctum, which
will be open for the reception OF votes
tomorrow morning. ANY one, male or
female, can vote who buys copy of
The Howler from our able and gentle
manly devil who will act as poll clerk.
Voters can vote as often as they please.
the only condition being that they shall
purchase as many copies of the The
Howler as they deposit votes. The polls
will be closed when no more people can
be persuaded to vote. AL Blodgett, the
efficient bartender of the ''Monte-
yuma" will set up the drinks for all
who vote, at our expense. When the
result of the voting is announced. we
have arranged to give the successful
candidate serenade and a purse of
SO. and for this we ask the contribu-
lions of our cultured and refined con-
stituency. We may add that we shall
not deem it an insult if our friends
should cast their votes for us.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23
The Liquor Laws OF All the States.


A special effort was made to obtain a
statement of the methods adopted in
the several states and territories of the
Union in dealing with the liquor ques-
ton, and answers were received from
the several secretaries of state as fol-
lows:
Iron-clad prohibition states with con-
stitutional provision against the manu-
facture and sale of intoxicating liquors:
Vermont, Maine, Iowa and Kansas
Prohibition state, but no constitution
al provision: New Hampshire.
States in which prohibition has been
tried, but. either for lack of success or
change in public sentiment. changed to
milder methods: Massachusetts. Con-
necticut, Indiana, Michigan and Wis
consin--5.
States and territories having general
and stringent license or '.local option"
laws: Rhode Island, New York, Penn
sylvania, West Virginia, South Caro-
lima, Arkansas, Illinois, Minnesota, Ne
braska, Dakota and Washington-1l
States allowing 'local option by
special act of the legislature: North
Carolina, Georgia, Alabama and Missis-
sippi-4.
States and territories having no gem
eral laws, and where no special atten-
tion has been given to the subject: New
Jersey, Maryland, Virginia, Louisiana,
Kentucky, Ohio, Missouri, Nevada, Col
orado, Arizona. Montana, New Mexico,
Wyoming and Utah-14.
States and territories from which we
have been unable to obtain replies:
Florida, Texas, Tennessee, California,
Oregon, Idaho and Utah.. Total, 46.
The unique position occupied by Ohio
compelled us to classify this state as we
have, though it can hardly be said that
no special attention has been paid to
the subject OF temperance In Ohio,
especially of late years. The law against
treating in Nebraska. it is only fair to
add, is founded on sensible idea. How
much of the drunkenness and vices of
large American cities is due to treating?
In this respect we are nation of fools.
In no country in the world is the Gus
tom carried to such an extent. The
severity of the prohibition laws may be
best studied in Mr. St. Johns state,
where even physicians have to take
oath once in five years that they will
not prescribe liquors, unless absolutely
necessary, as medicine. In Michi-
gan and Minnesota, and perhaps some
other states, effort is made to create a
temperance sentiment: In the first
named state by compulsory teaching in
all public schools of the effect of drink
on the human system. In the latter
named state to sell a pupil of a school
or seminary drink is misdemeanor.
The holding of aloon-keepers as re-
sponsible for paupers chargeable on the
town, when it can be proved from whom
they obtain liquor, seems to be peculiar
to Nebraska.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23
A Narrow Escape.

When he had laid down his fork,
swallowed the last of his coffee, and
wiped off his chin with ed-bordered
napkin, he leaned back and said:
Gentlemen, | wager two to one that
New York Central makes new issue
of bonds within ninety days.
No one responded; but after he had
gone a man at the foot of the table
with a squeaky voice called out:
"Yes-h' m-yesl He said ninety
days, and wouldn't take an hour off, Ii
he'd made it eighty-nine days and a
half I'd have pulled out $500 on him
quicker'n lightning. "-baH Street
NelUS,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23

The Los Angeles Porcupine says there
are 800 empty houses ia that city, mon
uments of the fact that men cannot live
on great expectations alone nor draw
sustenence from the glorious climate of
California. 1t does not seem possible
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-07-23
SO DRY AND BRITTLE. = "Wha

so DRY AND BRITTLE. - What
do you suppose makes my hair so dry
and brittle?" We suppose the glands
which supply moisture to it need slim
ulous. A bottle of Parker's Hair Balsam
will do the business, and leave your hair
soft and shining. There is no mistake
about this. No oil, no dye. Restores
original color, removes dandruff.
iSw1