The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-03-20
COULDN'T FOOL HIM.

A Legislative COMMITTEES Meets . Snake
rag Man-why They Could Prove Moth
ing ON Him.
In view of the fact that q large sum
of money was appropriated by the
Arkansaw Legislature for educational
purposes, committee was appointed
to visit certain parts of the State and
investigate the condition of the people.
One day recently while the committee
men were crossing mountain in
Shakerag County. they met an old fell
low who would have passed them with
out saying anything had not the chair
man spoken to him.
my friend" asked the head com
mitteeman, "do you live about here?"
Vas, Jest about"
"We are the Educational Committee,
appointed by the Legislature to go out
and see the people concerning the great
cause of education.
"Ah. ha."
"Do YOU know anything about tho
schools of this county?'
wall. know as much about the
schools as they do about me-"
Yes. know, but what is the cocdi-
ton of the schools?''
"Ain't heerd no complaint"
Have you a school in the immcdi-
ate vicinity?"
No. haint.''
q didn't suppose you had. but
"Then. what made yer ax?"
AT any rate, think this county is
sufficiently illiterate to claim special at
tention. How many children have
you?"
"Ain't counted 'en lately. Reckon
though I've got my share"
''How many have you that are large
enough to go to SCHOOL,"
OWN to how fur they have to go?"
''Can any of them read?"
''Yes. but they can't write worth
blame"
Wouldn't you like to see them in
SCHOOL,"
Leave see 'em thar as anywhar.
Elbow many months during the year
can you spare them?'
Cant spare 'em tall"
Wont you let them go to SCHOOL,"
Wont hinder 'em"
as your wife an educated woman?',
'.Used to be but she amt now."
''How is that?"
"Ain't got the same wife.
"How long have you been living in
this country?'
"Ever sense / come here"
Eyes. but when did you come here
what year,"
The year airter come from Mis-
soury."
what year did you come from Mis-
souri?'
1.-The year before came here.'
1--WE have come up here to help you
along. and We hope that you would ap-
preciate our services, but we see that
you do not. We feel that it is our duty
to ass st in educating the children of the
land, and it grieves us to see that you
are so unconcerned.
Il amt axed you for nothin'. didn't
send fer you. l didn't tell nobody that
i WANTED you to come. Eff you've got
any whisky an terbacker that yer
wanter slash 'roun', all right. Eff yer
amt, all right. I know your game as
well as you d." moving away. "You
amt nothin' but one of these here peer
ing grand juries, prying into other
peoples business. Oh, amt afeerd o.
you, for you couldn't prove nothin' on
me less'n the Sanderson boys were
here. an they've dun Left the country.
You are pretty lot o fellers, you air."
My dear sir, you make . mistake"
said the chairman.
"Yas, so does sheep. l know all
about you. A lot o. blamed fellcrs jes'
like you come up here wunst an tuck
me down before the Yankee court.
Vas, l know how anxious you air to
spend money on my chillun."
1--WE are members of the Legislature"
"Yas, SO is goat. l know all about
You. an you'd better rOost high, lie, me
tell you. for if the Aplins find out that
you air here they'll tell you how many
schools they want. Good day, gentle
men. You amt sharp enough to take
us all in, l reckon. '-ArkanSaW Tyar-