The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-01-01

llaC SeG sudCk Ou LIS Acau, h'o o"iS
wrapped in woolen comforter, his
wagon whip in his hand, an his mouth
spread very afable, as if once in his
life things wuz a:.leetle better than
"so-so."
"I want te buy some whisky y
"Got to entertain a preacher at .smy
house, an make him Christmas egg
nog."
SAll right" says John Raney'
"half q gallon, I suppose?"
Now the pint O that remark VII
this: there wuz q law in the State
forbidden any drug man to sell less
than half a gallon O. whisky, This
wuz ter put a stop to indiscriminate
dranl-drinkin' an treatin' on the part
O. the boys.
"Half a gallon" says Bobberts
"an' it seems as if that's a sight O
whisky fur q sober man like me ter to
be luggin' home"
ooh, it'll keep" says John; an it's
handy ter have in the house in case O
snake bites"
GAS to its keepin'," said Mr.. Bob
berts, very grim, preacher Showden
purposes ter pass some days" An
here he paused very eloquent.
Precisely" says John with laugh
an wink. Then be filled up the jug
very def an handed it ter the old
man.
"Hope your health is good this
winter?" he remarked.
"So-so," says Mr.. Bobberts, with a
nod. Then he clomb inter his Vaughn
an druv away vciy swift.
Some four hours later a figger that
looked like the wreck O. Mr.. Bobberts
appeared in John Raney's store. His
hat wuz of, an his head wuz partly
wrapped in the wooled comforter, with
bare places shinin' through his coat
wuz tore, an in his hand he held jist
the handle O the whiskey jug-nothin
but the handle.
"What Oh the earth has happened ?"
cried John an the men all crowded
round.
Bobberts toppled over inter a cheer,
and it wuz some minutes before he
found his breath. Tat at last he come
out with blood-curdlin' story of hav-
in been set on by tramps whilejoggin'
along the lonesomest part O the road.
They robbed him, an they fit him, an
they stole his wbiskey an broke his
jug. Thar sot the old man lookin' as
.pitiful as Moses in the bulrusbes. He
wu.'n't very poppeler, but nobody could
help expressin sympathy fur him,
an feelin' run high agin the tramps.
Some O the young fellers wuz fur
startin' out ter hunt them up; but it
wuz late an cold, an it amt so easy
ter catch a thief who has his wits about
him. Mr. Bobberts set by the stove
until he recovered hisself, an then he
says, with a grin, "Well, 1 s'pose I'll
have ter git some more whisky, an I
'ain't got a cent left"
"You can have it on time," says
John, very generous. "Half a gal
lon?"
He shook his head. "No," says he +;
"this has been mighty bad year on
us farmers, John, an I can't afford
another halfgallon, but I'll buy a
quart, if you'll sell it ter me"
This wuz q sort Of dilemma fur
John. On the one hand wuz his old
neighbor, whom he reely wanted to
oblige; on the other, the law.
"Seems ter me, John," says Farmer
Bobberts, "you might do me a good
turn, seein' as it's Christmas-time."
John wuz a-knitten' his brows, but
of a sudden his face lit up. "Tell you
what I'll do" says he. "Pll sell you
a quart, an add it ter the halfgallon,
so l can put down on my book a sale
of three-quarts, don't you see. That'll
make it all right with the law, an
satisfy you too, Mr.. Bobberts."
"Jest so," said the old man. An
after a little more talk he pocketed his
quart of whisky an druv off fur the
second time.
Their wuz quite q turnout at the
meetin' house next day ter hear Faith
er Snowden preach. He wuz in one
of his belligerent fits, an it wuzjedged
Brother Bobberts's eggnog he'd been
uncommon strong. He took a good
Christmas text, an preached along fur
a while very decorous, then, all of a
suddint, off he branched.
"says he, a-slappin' his hands on the
Bible, But ther is some things, my
brethren, in this sacred book as must
not be took too literal. We hear a
gre't deal, fur instans, about not seein'
the mote in your brothers eye on ac-
count O the beam in your own,
That's q very pretty fgger, but it
won't hold water. I've got my faults.
huge as the mountains, an plentiful as
the leaves; but 1Uhat auouM I be auth
as a preacher # l made a ambreller o.
'em ter prevent my secin' the faults O
my fellow-sinners? 1t is my mission
ter find out the wickedness an the
misdoin's of my brethren in the Lord
an it's every Christian mans duty tel
60 and do likewise. It's the protection
Of society an the bulwark of liberty
Their wuz once q feller who wuz set tel
guard a treasure. His name wu7
Argus, an he had as many eyes as
ther are freckles on q turkeys egg, OF
spots on peacock's tail. An when
one O. them eyes wuz closed in sleep
the others would be wide awake
Always on the lookout; couldn't ketcl
him nappin'. An so the sinner in thi:
world must be made ter feel that Ar
pus is a-watchin' of him. When my