Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-22
BRIGHT BITS.

PROFESSOR describing an ancient Greek
theatrel-"And il had no roof" Junior (sure
that he has caught the professor IN mistake)
WI hat did they do sir, when il rained?"
PROFESSOR taking off his glasses and psusing
angrily)-"They got VET Foreign EschanGe
LAY the cat on lightly, please" said the
Delaware wife heater b. the Sheriff, who was
about TO apply the lash TO his back; LAY it on
lightly and you VIII soothe my angry feel
lngs." SoOthe your angry feelingsD "Yes.
soft tan, sir, turneth away wrath. "-B0ston
Courier.
MYSTERY ExPLAINED-"What is the reason
that there are 50 many wOrkingmen's assOcI-
atoms nowadays asked GilhoOly of Gus de
Smith.
II suppose the reason is because the work
lngmen have gotten out OF the notion of do
ing any work nowadays TEXAS SJtin0s.
IN the ancient graves in Tennessee are
found human skulls that are some inches
larger than any modern human head. 1t Is
believed the owners Of these exaggerated
skulls died on tine morning Of July 5, when
some mems heads are bigger than at any other
period during the year, we've been told
Norrist0ton Herald.
Mrs. De Bogss-Did you take johnny to
school, Jeremiah2 Mr.. De Boggs-I did. An
excellent school it is, Matilda. The scholars
are models OF department, the curriculum is
Drst-class, and the Professor a man of ability
AT least that IS the way he struck me. Johnny
with q groan)-You ought to have STAYED
about an hour and seen how he struck me-
PhttddeIpht1 Call.
He had seen it tried; "You can't add diff
ferent things together" said a school teacher
''lf you add sheep and cow together it
does not make two sheep or two COWS " A
little boy, the son Of a milkman, held no his
hand and said; 'That may do with sheep and
COWS, but If you add a quart of water to
quart OF milk it makes two quarts of milk
I've seen it tried ."-PhiEddeIphiG North
american.
"YEs, l used to b. a confirmed beer drinker
but, thanks to the efforts of kind friends, |
was able To throw OF the awful habit" said
the speaker at Kentucky temperance meet
ing. Don't you kind O banker after it now?"
asked dyspeptlc in the crowd. mo, sir, not
cents worth" "How did you stop?" Just
took little whisky now ana then, until the
taste for beer was wholly eradcated. 1t was
glorious triumph, gentlemen It'd Bits.
He WANTED SLOW ONE-"Aw, Mr..
WOach, can you cOnstwuct yacht for me?''
~ s. Sir, can build a good, fast one for
you "
Dear me, no, Mr.. woach. II is not a favst
one want. That's the weason | came to
you. | want one of those slow old tubs such
as you have been accustomed TO building for
the government, don't y'know."
But why do you want slow one?'
Jaw, it's English, y'knOW ''-Escban9e.
HE thought when ne read the editors sheet
That was hvid with rage and blazing with
ire,
He was wild demon with claws on his feet
n VI SOTt anu al eater OF ure.
But he found when he saw him at home with
his wife,
He was meek and resigned as an innocent
guy;
A lover of peace and hater OF strife,
drlnker Of soda and eater of piel
Lynn Union.
1T BRwILDERs THE Bull
Now the young maid from the city
Thinks she looks so sweet and pretty
In her Mother Hubbard dress Of white and
red;
For the skirt is red, you know,
And the yoke and sleeves like snow
Oh, shes sure on 1t some farmer III lose his
head.
Down the road she trips along
And her voice breaks forth in song
While smiling light illumes her lovely face /:
All the birds forget to sing
And pause listening on the wing
AS she passes with a winsome fair grace,
Yet, bark! Her voice is still
What Is it2 On the hill
catch a sudden flash Of white and red
/ see the cause--ahi yes.
On that Mother Hubbard dress:
The farmers bull has madly lost his head,
-hoSbHFH a GU0cGGe.