South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-02-13
Wit A Nd II OR.

Wit AND HU NOR.
a clergyman on . sultry afternoon
paused in bis sermon and said. Il cav
IN Advertisement last week H., FIVE
hundred slespers for railroad. Think
could supply At least fif'v. and recon.
meLd ,h.lD ~ good and soupdP
Use vour f. k, J,Lnniei Have YOU
forgotten so coon what told YOU aboLt
usiog your q gersr We'll. mamms.
ongs's were made before FORKS y .,
they we're; but not your fingers. my
SON.
IL your wife going 10 III. musicale
Tonight, NJ. Blinksp' NO; am .orr,
TO say she can't. This is the hired
sirrs night III. and my " fe will bave 10
stay at home to wait on her.
Policeman: Have you a permit 10
play heres' Organ Grir der: No; hut
II amLses tho little ones ., much Pr.
tceman Then you will have Inc good.
nsss to accompany me- Organ Grinder {:
Very weil, Cir. What do you wish TO
singp'
Judge 10 wiiDess): Repeat the pris.
oner's statement to you cxnnly in hi
own words. Now. what did he saw
Witness: MY Lord. he said b. slnIe
the pig Judge: Impossible! II.
couldn't have used The third person
Witness: NY Lord. ihere ~as no ,hir
person. Judge: .Nonsensel sup.
pose you mean that lie ssid Il stole the
Pig Witness (.aocked): %, m,
Lord |! lie never mention ed your Lord.
ship namer Dismissed ienomin-
iously.
GEN. DIX PUTs ON Hrs UNIFORM.-
The following anecdote ia from an art.
Gle by George F. Williams. the we'll
known war correspondent, on Life aa,'
Shadows Of Army Life: In somerrgi
men's the discipline was so strict tina,
men on post "a sentinel. were on the
alert to discover any delinquency OF
their supporters. At Federal Hill. Bslti
more. Colonel (afterward GencraD
Warren gave orders to his Zougve
guards thar oily officers in uniforms
were 10 he admitted INTO camp. On
bright SUNDAY morning in Augus', 1861
General Dix, who comman ed he troop,
guarding the city, walked over from
Fort McIlenry tired in an I'D linen
6nster, instead OF the brass hu,:oncd
and velvet. cuffed coat belpu, ing TO his
rank. tempting to pass the line OF
sertries in company with an aide, the
old general was amused a. finding a
Dusket barring his passage, while the
aide, with his g!.ttering shoulder. straps,
vas per pit:ed TO enter.
but don't YOU see that this is General
Dip exclaimed the aide angriiy.
We'll, between yon and mo, Major
said the Zouave, his eyes twinklinc with
amusement, Il see very we'll VIII, il il.
hat il General Dix want. to ge, in, O this
camp he had better 60 back and pu. on
his uniform
lou are quite right, sontrv,' remark.
ell the general. Ill go bnc1 and ct
my cos'.'
An hour afterward the general. in full
uniform. approached the camp an, al
loving the guard reserve to be called
out, accepted the salute due his rank and
position, and the inclden Increased his
admiration for the enti G COZ mand.
A market reporter says that hi, sweet.
heart encouraged him, and he thought
OF marrying her at once. hut that
fur' her advance WAS followed by de-
cline.
A widow intending to succeed her
husband at the management of holel
advertised that the hotel will be kept
by tho widow of the former landlord,
MIR. Browr, who died last summer on a
new and improved plan
An old negro wcman PRAYING for
certain slanderer said: %. Lord, won't
you be kind enough to take u. door {, =
his mouth off and when you put IL on
again just hang IL on the gospel hinges
of peace on earth and good will TO mem
Robbie said n visitor kindly, have
you any little brothers and sistersY'
No replies wee Robbie, sole nly, H'm
the only children we've got.