Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-24
THE EDITORS DREAM.

hE EOl On - bnCNW.
Once upon time village editor sat
in his quiet sanctum industriously Pc
rusing the political editorials In his city
exchanges. At length that which he
read began to have its legitimate effect;
the editor nodded once, twice, thrice; /;
his ewes closed; the city daily fell from
his nerveless fingers, and three flies lit
upon his bowed head and balanced all,
swung corners, crossed over, and prom
enaded all around, to the music of the
rhythmical editorial snore. The village
editor was asleep; and sleeping, the
village editor dreamed.
He sat at his desk with weary fingers
and aching head. The last local item
had gone into type, the last inside read
ing notice had been set up, and the
Youngest apprentice stood grimly by,
with lines of impatience upon his brow
and daub of ink under his left eye,
waiting for copy. Suddenly there was
step without, the door opened, mar
entered, and taking a vacant chair In
front of the editors desk, to which the
editor has politely called his attention,
and said:
"My dear sir, my name Is John w.
Smith. am subscriber to your pa
per, as you well know, and being in
town to-day, l thought would take the
opportunity to call and tell you that |
liked your paper all but one thing. You
don't print enough matter on the tariff
question. Poetry and stories and funny
paragraphs and local items may do well
enough to fill up paper with in ordi-
nary times, but just now the country is
awake to the tariff question, and if you
want to keep your paper alive, you've
got to give your subscribers. light on
the tariff. You should not have less
than three columns of editorial and five
columns of extracts on the tariff every
issue. That's all I've got to say, and |
hope you'll bear it in mind. By the
way, | owe you tw o years subscription,
anG one Of these days 1'll call in and
pay it. Don't forget to let yourself
loose on the tariff; goodbye"
As the man who wanted more light
on the tariff passed out, little, ner-
vous-looking person came in and took
the vacant chair.
"Ah," he said, with little smile that
didn't look strong enough to be out,
"ah, my dear man, | see you are absorb
ed in thought, rs an editor always should
be. And that reminds me that you are
neutrality-suspicious. totally neglecting
science. Too much Of politics, too much
of politics, my dear man; your paper
will never grow in circulation while
you neglect science for politics. You
should devote not less than four col
umns week to science. That's all
came to say. Be in some day and pay
my subscription. Good day; but don't
forget to give us plenty of science"
The footsteps Of the man who wanted
science had not gone beyond the editors
hearing when q third visitor entered
and took the vacant chair as If he were
accustomed to sit in It.
II am sorry to notice that you are ne
glecting politics at this important Pc
riod," he said, kindly but gravely
"You should strive 10 keep the vital
principles of our party constantly be-
fore the people. like your paper in
all but its lack in this respect, and some
day, perhaps at the beginning Of next
year, | will subscribe for IL. ! see II
now every week In Brown office. Ii you
would write about five columns OF fresh
political editorials every week you'd
see your paper going right up In circu'
lation. That's what | told Brown yes.
terday, and lie agreed with me. A story
and scientific article occasionally, and
) a little local matter and some marriages
and death notices to please the women
are all well enough, but l can tell you
that country paper to amount to any
thing and have any influence, has go
to be full OIL political matters. That'i
all | want TO say now. When you wan
any points on politics III he glad tC
help you out. And, by the way, dom
forget that I'm a candidate for the Leg
islature; good day"
The next visitor who took the vacAn
chair that sat in front of the village ed
itor's desk, spoke as follows:
II stepped in to-day, sir, to tell yol
that do not want your paper any long
err. In some respects it Is good paper
but you do NOT print enough news mat
ter. You should have full page o
news at least. don't care anythin,
about your protective tariff and you
tariff for revenue only, OF anything o
that sort. want the news when tax
the paper. ! want full account of tn
murders and suicides and railroad col
lisions and divorce cases. Don't sem
me the paper any longer. I'll come il
and pay you what / owe you when
have sold my corn. Good day."
And then there came light step q
the door, and person wearing sever
countenance, and a shawl, came In an
took the vacant chair.