The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-18

precious discovery by barren consider ations of money or time vas intolerable. Perhaps, if hsd had friend te whom could pour forth my projects, and to whom ] could explain my disappoint- ments, and who could strengthen me with inspiring consolation and encouE- agement, might have thrown of the feeling of impatient and feverish irrita- ton and recklessness which came upon me. But had no friend in the world. To my wife 1 could say nothing {; shrouded in her grief. she glided silently about our four rooms. until l came to shrink from looking at her lest ! should reproach her as the cause of my loss. If oply she had not fixed her gaze upon me when was about to testify in court, her brother would not have lived to bring ruin on us both. But consequences are pitiless.
 While l was in this unhealthy and nior- bid state of mind, and while we were living thus insufferably, happened to take down from an upper shelf the note books l had used during my wedding trip to Europe. Loosely in the leaves of one of them found two folded papers :; they were the insurance policies on my life and on my wife's, each for Sso GOO and each for the others benefit, which we had taken out at the suggestion ot Wilfred Morgan few days after we were married. He had made the payments on them as they came due. With the papers ia my hand made nasty calcu- lation, and l found that it was almost time to make another payment lest the policy should lapse by default. Moved by an inexplicable impulse, picked out a hundred rare volumes from my over crowded shelves, and took them to a bookseller who had recently told me that customer of his was collecting a tox- biological library; and the money he gave me for the.e sufficed to keep alive the policy on my wife's life. If she should die l would receive the insurance on her life; with $50 900 I could complete the Elixir of Death beyond all question or dispute. And knew that my wife was tired of life and that she longed for the rest of the grave. And the sight of her pale face wore on me more and more, day by day.
 Perhaps was mad; do not know. A great physician has said that all men are mad. It may be that he was right, and that l was only little more mad than my fellow-man. It may be that I am mad now. know little about madness, yeti know more than most, for know know nothing. despise the poor crea- lures who spend themselves prying into the hooks and recesses of the brain, when there is so much work in the world at large waiting to be done.
 The notebook in which l had found the policies lay on my desk for a few days. When took it up saw that it was the one in which had recorded my notes Tn the Tyrol. I read them again in silence, and sort of stupor fell upon me. sat still and stolid for an hour or more, then arose and locked the note book in the secret drawer of my desk, and l went out for walk. It was nearly midnight in middle of winter, and chill rain froze as fast as it fell. When I re- turned home just before dawn, was clothed with cerement of ice, but had not felt the cold. went at once into the little room which served me as a labor atory.
 The next day my wife complained of burning pains. gave her medicine to relieve her, and although it did no inn mediate good, the pains gradually wore away, and had wholly gone at the end of the week. A few weeks later they re. turned, only to disappear again a few days later. l had increased the daily dose of arsenic that gave my wife every morning in her coffee.
 Affav fh surx~aeAI :A
 weeks, and once every three weeks my wife had these burning pains. l always prescribed for her in vain effort to re. lieve the inevitable pain. gave time to this, which had to take from my labsrs on the Elixir of Death-time that could i'll spare if 1 was ever to accomplish any, thing. was glad to know that in spite of these pains Lillian was in excellent health, and came in time to have a strong scientific interest in her case. noted every symptom and l watched every change. think she mistook the meaning of my attention, and for little while at least she was happy in the thought that loved her again. Her love gave her strength to bear the bangs which came upon her so mysteriously.
 iH NAAS hauuCi hSotly year udQ Sp6Q with its burden of anxiety, and l deter mined to test the success of my experi- ment-not to end it finally, however. as the time for that had not yet come. One day did not administer the usual dose of arsenic, nor did l the next nor the next. In less than week Lillian began to fall away; she was too feeble to walk she could not eat she was burnt up by the gnawing and growing pain within in a word, she had every symptom of ar senical poisoning. There could be no doubt as to the success of the experiment. # l did not at once give her the portion of arsenic to which she had become ac- she would die. On the eighth day after the cessation I gave her the roi- son again, in her coffee, at breakfast. It was but trifiing dose, but its effect was instantaneous. She revived and began to improve. In ten days had returned to the full dose; had even increased it slightly and Lillian had recovered her strength. Yet she was taking every day lour grains of arsenic, quantity sufficient s,l L s~l