Milford chronicle., 1885-02-06
va HOUSTON, DEL.

docs MA
utes q the Neo 1eoES-,. ISsN
"What man ?" said tnseA
"That miller who keeps ~
here.
"Oh, " said the tavern-kGeper, "them's
twins. "-Hayper'S Basar.
CIVIL SERVICE NOTE.
One Of the duties of Judson Macun-
Der, IN intelligent colored man EN-.
plOyed in the Austin Post Office, is to
cut daily supply of kindling wood for
the stoves in the building. A few days
ago the supply was short.
"Why don't you chop up two or three
days supply Of kindling wood, so we
can always have some on hand ?' asked
Col DeGress, the postmaster
ono, sab, don't cut up no kindlin'
wood for de day ahead. We am liable
to hab our heads chopped off any min
ute, and don't hab NO kindlin' wood in
de cellar for de Democratic niggah what
gifts my place. "-Zeras Sittings.
AN AMATEUR.
II hear young Crimsonbeak has been
acting at your THEATRE" said Yeast to q
theatrical man.
eyes, he has, replied the man ad-
dressed, with world Of meaning in his
ooks.
GLOW did he act ?"
"AbOut as bad as a man could act %
You don't say - came from the
ghite-haired philosopher. "What part
lid he take ?"
'Wel, you see, he was acting as
for the company, and when he
eft suddenly he took the largest part Of
he weeks receipts. - X0nkers States
nan.
MADE EVERYTHING POP.
GOOD evening, Tommy. Is your
ster Clarissa at home ?"
''Yes, sir; she's out in the kitchen
oppiDg corn for you"
Popping corn for me? Why, how
sry thoughtful. I like popcorn very
uch. J."
"Yes, sir. She said she was going to
1t pan Of popcorn under your nose.
I'd if you didn't take the hint she'd give
VI the shake.
Something besides corn was popped
at evening. .-C Chicago Ne,Us.
THE JoYLEss JOKER.
Mamma, who is that poor, sad man
the other end of the carp"
Hush, darling, he may hear you"
Poor man; I 'spect his folks is all
ad.
Keep quiet, pet.
II do believe he is going to cry,
NINA. Poor man p
DO keep still, child"
But mamma, who is he, and Wn.-
matter with him ?"
Hush, little one; he is a humorist,
you are too young to understand
Sc things. Chicago Ledger.
BAD NEWS.
lawyer: ri have very bad news for
and hope you are prepared for il.
, verdict is murder in the first
rec"
'risoner: "First degree?"
Yes; did my best, but It was no
Nothing could save you. I con.
led to tell you the worst at once, and
, you from further suspense"
Ah the suspense is yet to come
Ia. CaU.
MADE HIMSELF SOLID.
Who is your family physician,
rye ?"
Dr.. Smoothman."
low did you come to employ that
Drained creature ?"
)h, my wife once asked him if he
/ tell why she always had cold feet,
be told her they were so small they
Int hold blood enough to keep
warm. She won't have any Other
u. Chicago Ne as.
TWO ESSENTIAL QUALITIES.
he man that 1 marry" said Clara.
It be handsome, rich, brave, clever.
ut how will you discover that he
sses those qualities ?"
can see for myself if he is hand.
and can easily ascertain if he is
/ don't so much mind about the
7. ~ Y Times.
cHooL TEACHING IN ILLINOIS.
you didn't succeed very well with
chool in Illinois ?"
}, 1 had to give it up at the end Of
st month,
d you use the blackboard much ?"
+. 1t was too large. But 1 used
other furniture about the room
asn't nailed down. Graphic.
PRINTERS TYPE OF BEAUTY.
de Young Lady apparently fish
a complimenD What type Of
do you admire the most, Mr..
nggalley?
(member Of Typo
'al UniOn) cast on
body and set double-leaded.
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