Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-12-11
OUR KAIEIDOSCOpE.

The great men who were born in log .
cabins are rapidly dying out-PhilddCl-
phid NClCs. They are now raised in news
paper Offices.
Talking about being in comfortable cir
cumstances, did you ever see two lovers |
occupying one arm-chair2
George w. Peck, the bad boy" of
, PcCk'S sun is one of the heirs to the great
estate of Lord Tounley. Humor pays.
"Mss Nellie Connors of Lake City,
Col, and Mr. Oscar Olsen of Anmas
Forks were recently married on snow
shoes at the summit of spur of the Con
tinental divide, the altitude being over
I $1,000 feet" The above item shows to
what an extraordinary extent winter
sports are being carried in this country.
North Brookfield is getting above the
skating rink. She now calls it the Casino.
-LolUcU Courier Casino joke about
this.
Bill Nye-the same Bill Nye who had
his leg broken by II cyclone little while
ago-was recently thrown from his buggy
and badly bruised. If Bill were as super
stitious as he is tough he would stop
writing humor
A writer says that Browning, the poet
still takes long walks. a habit acquired,
undoubtedly, while trying to dispose of
his earlier manuscripts.
James Bayard son of Secretary Bay
ard, has married Il Miss Deakin of West
Virginia. Undoubtedly this is the first
deakin ever known in the Bayard family.
That san Francisco man with the four
ears ought to move to Salt Lake City. 1t
would be quite an inducement for three
or four women to associate in his manage
ment
y correspondent writes, 81 send you
little poem called "The Lay of the Lark"
If accepted let me know Rejected, with
thanks If you will send few specimens
of the lay of the hen we will accept
Measles are not 50 very dangerous, if
properly managed, but they certainly do
break It man all up.
1t is a curious fact that rich relatives are
apt to- be distant ones.
When you attempt TO muzzle a dog be
sure that he isn't loaded.
Mir - aiur now weighs 19l pounds, and
(, IN tie condition for convincing news
parc. reporters that they don't want to
,cc him
Rice, it is said, contains very little
uour>hmeut. 1t certainly has nothing
else to recommend.
AN Erie man was badly injured by Il
cannon made from gas pipe" Exactly;
1t would have been worth mentioning if
r he hadu't been.
"GillS, if you want red cheeks, rub them
with snow says Il writer. Don't you do
il, girls. Rub them with moustache; it
gives II liveler color.
, An eminent physician advises not to
alter the shape of your nose. This means
! keep away from the bicycle, the skating
rink and John Il. sullivan.
In Sweden the government runs the
drinking saloons, In this country the
government only runs one or two first
class ones in Washington.
t They are called ballet dancers, proba-
bly,, because they are ballet dressed
Boston Tdn>cript
I.orne has been defeated for Parliament.
Il Yet he made the best run of the campaign.
1 i-BOStOn Post.
1 The wicked Photographer never feels his
If total depraVity so much as when he sees
his items going around credited to an
=, honest religious weekly. - PHtSburg
" Chronicle.
E President Cleveland puts on clean
II shirt every day. The President seems &c
o have very little respect tor the traditions
: of his party BinghdmtOn RGpublicdn
1t 4 St Louis tailor recently left note
e beside his dead body saying that he had
IS committed suicide. Owing to the eX
e IRENE unreliability of tailors it is believed
n by the police that he was either murdered
d or is still alve.-NcC York. Grdphic.
/ 1t is not so very surprising that an alarm
e of fire should produce such Il panic as il
/ frequently does in II church during ser
{ vice, especially when the minister ha'
y just been working his hearers up to I
i" state of nervous apprehension on that
J.. subject.-LOUeU CUizen.
u An old friend of the late Josh Billing,
= relates that ON one occasion he called OF
"a the great humoriSt with an album, an,
= modestly solicited his autograph. II,
took 1t on his knees, gave his mouth
comIcal twist, and wrote;
"Thricc is he armed who hath his quarrc
.r just BARD OF AVON.
- And lOur times he who gets his blow il
u fust," j. billings.
he Lynn Bee.
y Nearly every mother is at times
~ striker ON the home base.-IHC JudPC.
~ just notice how nice your best girl vii
~ he from now until Christmas. -LOCCl
-, citizen.
II In HOO, wives were sold in England, an,
n according to the records of many divorc
n cases the habit has not altogether die,
m out,-N, y. Grdphic.
le "According to an old saw" says an eN
change, I'VE are to have tWenty-siX snoN
7 storms this winter" An old saw tina
IL makes such gloomy predictions shout,
~ have its teeth knocked out.-NOrriStOW
a. HCruld.
IT, Just drop me IA line if you want to say
I'd II sole from watery grave" remarked
s fish to an unsuccessful tisherman-Cdl
tOTllid M0CCriCk.
As soon as Il man gets perfectly familia
with his own name he begins to write
so that nobody else can read it.--ChiCdu
Telegram.
\ column advertisement of the "Univel
sal Stock Exchange company Q4lmited)
occupies column of London daily pape
1t promises to make money in stocks fl
anybody who Will remit any multiple q
; t26." American stocks Il speciality. Tn
chairman of the Universal Stock EXchan4
company bears the very signiiicent nam
..f \ l. ..t.l~