The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-01
The Ham Sandwich.

Inc liam OanuWlcn.
: The ham sandwich is an institution
of comparatively modern times. Th
Bible speaks of Ham, tits true, but no
| the kind we encounter between tn
, slabs of bread and biscuit of this nine
teenth century.
Poets have sung the praises of woman
and wine, but until now no writer ha
extolled the merits of the ham sand
witch, or tried to elevate it to tina
higher sphere where it properly be
longs in the esteem of the community
Where it first lived, moved and haC
its being, | am unable at this moment
to tell, there being no reliable author.
ity upon the subject, but it probably
first saw the light of day somewhere
in New England, and the man who
first conceived the brilliant idea of a
ham sandwich, should have his
name preserved in the pickle of I'M
dying glory, and have race horse or
prairie city named after him to per-
petuate his memory.
1t has taken stronghold upon the
appetite and affections of its country
men, and in return the appetite of a
| grateful nation takes a strong hold
upon it-when they cannot get any
thing better. 1t is the friend of rich
and poor alike-the savior of the poor
ly-paid clerk, laborer and mechanic,
and it is the shrine at which the free
lunch fend and lmpecunious sport
smack their lips in worship. 1t is the
life and soul of the picnic and sur
prise party and fishing excursions. 1t
plays an important part in the ro-
nance of every man who carries a
lunch, and al the gay and festive wake
it is always welcome visitor.
Over the ham sandwich and a glass
Of beer the aristocrat unbends the
knee of dignity and lovingly wipes his
nose across the face of his plebian
brother, as in peace and love they dis.
cuss the current topics of the day, and
| think that with proper training and
education it could be made to act as
kind of mediator or Peace Congress in
welding warlike nations together in
bond of peace and mutual love.
1t long ago took the place of the
newspaper in supplying the ''long-felt |
want" and while the patent outside |
turns up its toes and its nose grows
cold in death, the people of this free
and glorious country will sing its
phrases and shout, 'long may it
wave"
Its immense popularity has caused
the demand to exceed the supply. At
least L have found 1t so in all boarding
houses at which have ever lived.
Inscriptions parties have tried to
cast slur upon its fair name by plac-
ing upon the market base imitation.
At the railway restaurant they gave
US, as the simon pure article of the old, !
original Jacobs stamp, only plaster
Paris biscuit, between the slices of (
which nestles Il thin silver of common r
red brick. The attention of our legs- q
ators should at oEce be called to this +
,vil, for if it continues, many OF us h
Who may yet be shining lights in So
'iety aud states prison will die of what r
he doctors call phthisis psoriasis, 4
hog Latin for l know not what.) v
This is an age of deceit, and fraud t.
talks abroad throughout the land at
ired in the seersucker coat and plug II
at of innocence. Our whisky is dilu-
ed with kerosene and fusil oil, our
odfish balls are not up to the stand v
I'd of what Goldfish ball ought to il
e, or was in the good old days of 81
Jackson and cheap rum. In ii
act nearly every article of bric-a-brac IL
hat Is swallowed up in the grave of d
ne human stomach is stuffed full of IL
otal depravity. But, great heavens!
eaders, when they descend so low rs I'll
} fiddle with the purity of that great
mblem of American ingenuity, pro- III
ress and appetite, the ham sandwich, Ii
is time for you and | and every
her genuine hog to get up and howl tr
18th anguish. 1t is direct blow at
le most sacred of our institutions, it
I'd a slap in the face of advancing If
vilization, and l am glad that the BIZ
resident has taken into his Cabinet a M
an who will be keenly alive to the tic
elfare and interests of our 'Interior'
apartment. wi
The man, who for the sake of gain la
g few paltry millions, will DELHI nc
ately place upon the market such tn
aud as the railroad ham sandwich nj
ght to be compelled to eat one
e, even two of them. 81
The Bible asserts that it was a stone so
th which David put Goliath out in th'
e first inning. This proves that the an
m sandwich has not been handed OF
wn to us as relic of the dark ages, te'
had the railroad sandwich then sa'
en- established, David would never KIN
We selected stone with which to
: the giant out. or;
Having, trust, placed it upon the
ting where it prOperly belonps 7 Oul
,destly make my bow and retire phi
on my laurels won az its chamnion am
ooper-up.-George SWartwout IN
KS Sum ye;
rea