, 1885-06-20

A smile OF hhrucned SIN.
These people spend their llght-eamed cash
For stun like that. - said he;
while must rustic for my hash.
busy, busy. bee"
Yes, you're a busy bee. you bloke."
Said Smith. with savage grin
And awful other words he spoke.
And ran the worker In.
GLADSTONE has declined an earldom.
Great Crsarl what a grammarian.
Has the shibboleth turn the rascals
out, - had anything to do with the increase
Of the tramp nuisance
ACCORDING to the recent census there
are l1,s4l dogs in Brooklyn. Does this
include the dude puppies?
THE Cincinnati Commercial cries,
"Givc us free bathsl' Well, yes, you
ought to have baths some way.
TnE Wells in the st. Louis post office
will soon be eisterns, as Rainwater is to
fill the place now held by Wells.
REPUBLICAN, office holders are beginning
to be impressed with the force of the ex-
preston "a dull and sickening thud.
A LATE poem begins: He lies upon
the bare hill side. Does the poet refer
Eli Perkins? He'll lie upon anything.
THE census of Kentucky will not in
crease a great deal in this decade owing to
the prevalence of Smith and Nelson's
improved revolver.
lT is some consolation to defeated can
didate for the legislature to get letters ad-
dressed to him with his name hitched on
to an Hon profx.
An exchange says: THE negroes Of the
South are taking to labor associations"
1t is gratifying to learn that they are tax
ing to labor in some shape.
EMPEROR WILLIAM is going to Ems
again, this summer. 1t is significant
fact that his wife never accompanies him
there, and he enjoys the place more than
any other.
ILLINOIS is not 80 much afraid of
the cholera this season as a threatened
extra session of her Legislature. The emf
grafton from Illinois to Wyoming is in
creasing largely,
NED BUNTLINE has turned his attention
to snake stories, md sends in a colossal
lie on that subject from the Kaatskills.
Has the old man run out of long haired,
buckskin heroes2
HrPers Magazine has an article
headed; What Shall Our Artists
Paint ?" Well, if they are all like the
specimens that have been sent west they
bad better kalsomine their noses.
THE Hall and Jones factions in Ken
lucky van to get together and kill each
other, and the officers OF that county, lost
to the best interests of the community,
are trying to keep them from doing it.
The numerous puns that have been
perpetrated about Thomas concerts in
connection with cats a counting, have so
oyerstocked the market hat the feline
race Is getting a much needed race.
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THERE is one consolation in connection
with the leading industry of the west If
bi metalism il downed and coinage stopped
by the m%onopolists of the east, not a
wooden nutmeg maker that even lived, or
any other cute Yankee, will be able to
make silver spoons out Of pewter
THE Denver Ncles publishes pictures of
OF the train dispatchers. Fortu-
nately the ~dispatchers are a patient and
peaceable set of men. otherwise this story
might have been longer, as in the case Of
the three wise men of Gotham who went
to sea in a bowl, which was not a strong
ono.
SOME n speaking in Denver of Hon.
Tom Patterson's great success as a crimi.
nal lawyer said that he cleared everything
he tackled. A youth standing by re-
marked that he had been the attorney for
Holly Water business for a long time
and he hadn't managed to clear that
yet.
The newspapers are killing Gen. Grant
of much faster than his doctors are. IL
must be a source of grim pleasure to him
to see them saying, from day to day, that
he can't live much longer 1t is to be
that he will live long enough to
them all appear as if they were
edited by a force composed of Ananias and
Sapphin, Eli Perkins and Senator Frye.
ASAN FRANoIsoo Journalist" Of the
a week persuasion who has been iu
the business about two months, was tell
ing some young ladies about the severe
demands Of his profession upon his brains
and time, and said it was very trying to
be obliged to work all night A small
girl who heard the last remark, asked him
with great innocence il he was in the en-
ploy Of the Odorless ExcaYator company.
Our tailoring department Is now conf
with al tho iata novelties in fine for
cign and domestic fabrics. b. Hellman.
Rhodes and Troxell's soda water manu-
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