The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1885-04-09

| nut fcebly smiling, simply said:
'lVo got the blasted shakes again"
Now York Journal. Il
DR., Paxton, of New York, says that
the Scotch arc the only people who
have succeeded in solving the difficult
problem of combining punch with
piety.
The latest freak in ladies' hoad-gear
is called the "pen-wiper bonnet" 1t
has huge rosette, Stimulating pen
wiper, on top. Must be very handy for
reporters in public gatherings.
ltngtom Free Press.
twenty-five years ago there were fif-
ty cats where there is only one to-day,
says statistician, and the Philadel-
phla CaU adds that twenty-five years
ago there was one set of furs where
there arc fifty to-day. -
At bay: Hollow snubby you are
with these young men. That last ono
is quite broken up" She (who lives
IN a collegiate town)-'I really cannot
help It; | am SO tired OF educating 9TH
er people 5 children. '-LJc.
~ mcndicant approached Westches-
Ter man on the cars, the other day, and
sad: Dear sir, l have lost my ley," to
winch the Wcstchcstcr man replied, as
he hurried away: 'Ny dear friend, [
have not seen anything of it, Vest
| chester LOc0k NcaCS
'Is your ovcrcoat at homep" asked
Il merchant of his clerk, who came
shivcring into his Office. mo, sir" he
checrfully replied; "but my ulster is at
my unclc's.n AS neitherof them knew
what the other thought, tho business of
the day proceeded rs usual.
A lawyer in one of the courts lately
threw an inkstand at another's head
The court required him to apologize
for it, He did so, and added, "WhileI
am about it ! may as well apologize be-
torchand for throwing anotherinkstand
at him the first chance l get"
What is the difference between tho
man WHO is "transfiXcd with horror
and lcopard's tail? Answer: One is
'rooted to the spot'' and the other is
spotted to the root. (P. S.-If the
ieopards tail is notspottcd to tho root,
this conundrum is declared Off Nor
riStotOn XcrQid
The wcll-grounded belief that money
is all-powcrful has sustained n sever.
blow. A theatrical company is travel
ing over the State with a play called
''Powcr of Money" and it doesn't pos
scSs sufficient power to draw Il house
biS cuOuNll 10 pay InclT nOtCl DlllS.--
NcrristOaOn UcraM
Her Dying II quest. lilly is very ill
dangerously III. Her mamma is very
ANXIOUS about her. Say, mamma, am
L going to die?n asked the little pa
ticnt, 'Hush, child; you surely don't
want to break your poor mothers
hearth" mo, ma dear; only, if | die,
| want you 10 pa. all NV dolls MO
mourning!'-ZondaySL|0d.
Parson Whangdoodle Baxter distin-
gu:shcd himself once moro at the fu-
neral of an aged colorcd man: "Our
diseased bruddcr was married foah
times during his lifc," said Whanodoo-
die; "but only one oh de widows am so
fortunate as to be able to survive him
long enough to be present on dis hcah
solemnious occashun. ."-Ieras iStftinqs.
An inspector, who had been explain
ing to II class that the land of tho
world was not continuous, said to the
boy who happened to be standing near
est TO him: Nov, could your father
walk round the world?n mo, sir"
was promptly answered. "Why notp'
"Bccause he's dead" " as the altopeth-
CT unlocked for rcsporse e.-AN the Year
| ROUNd.
He had just hau his hair cut and re-
turned home "HumH' he says, after
examining himself in the glass critical
~ ~ guess shall havo to go back to
the barber's shop again. This'll never
do: ''What's the matterp" says his
Wlc; has he cut your hair too longo"
mo, confound him; he's gono and cut
it too short. Ill ma kc him cut it over
again. "-FrencA Paper.
There arc q number of very eligible
young men of Pcmbina County, Dako-
ta' but no young women. Although it
i, IS not spring, the young mems fancy
ilght'y Curns to thoughts of love, and
rooIng their issues, they have deputed
one of their number to 90 to Boston
and secure wives for the rest. 1t ;s
commcndablef for the young men to take
unto themselves wives, but why 90 to
Boston?
The Tartary young man who breaks
~ ms engagement with his girl does SO at
ms peril, for then he has to engage
himself to tho next older sister. If any.
thing happens to her he has to take the
next one, and so on down. The family
that matrimonially catches n Tartar
aoesn t let 60 its grip until grim death
mas been very busy, for Tartar families
arc always blessed with large beyy of
girls.-IVatcrdary american.
A Tcxas cattleman married refined
young lady belonging to the best socic-
ty OF Dallas. A friend meeting him
shortly after his marriage congratulat
cd nm on his happy fortune. 'It's all
right but had to make sacrifices"
ircpliGd the ncwly-madc husband, shak-
ing his head. "What sacrificcs?"
"pvc had to give up going to bed with
my boots and spurs on When come
home tired. ."--1rzas StftingS.
At a sewing circle all tho women
were talking, and some of the subjects
got hopclcssly confused. For instance,
tho subject of crickets and church
choirs, II never heard such q horrid
noiso as they made last Sunday" said
one one woman, referring to tho choir.
''Nor [ either" said another, thinking
sho referred to the Fall crlckcts. "They
say they mako that noise WITH their !