South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-05-29
wIR 80 HUM %.


WIT AND HIS NOR.
a French 5erber sign board reads
thus: 10 morrow, tic public viii bo
shaved gra,aitously,' OF ooarse, The
board always reads TO rrorrow.
Shall slug; When the Robins Nest
Again, darlings she asked With q
svest smile. as she moved towards the
piano. Yes, love he replied; then at
tor moments pause be added Allow
70 call yoas attention to the fact
that the robins woa't nest again til
next gear She did not sing and he
doesn't go there any mora.
How did You contrive TO cultivate
such beautiful black eyer asked
s'owo. OF replied Fogg. who had
been practising upon roller skates. Il
ra,sed y from a slip.
a 7erJ amusing incident 10 told by =
oaicsgo minister, who while preaching
IN San franciso some years since paused
IN ms discourse TO qusn drsuph, of
water. Just IS ne had finished q par.
rot hidden m the audience sang out
'wipe OF your chin. Thinking that
come one was kindly admonishing him
no did Is directed. This put the audi
onco IN tister,bu when 'he pulled down
his vest rcspousivo TO toe bird's re-.
quest the Smiles 5roadened into wild gu.
laws. re was quite indignant until he
discovered the cause OF tho leyity whom
be good naturally laughed with The rest
and continued his sermon 20 The close.
Thile The audience listened with keen
attention. No one of the listeners clos.
ed an eye during that discourse.
ne story - told of certain little
Pharisee who while praying for his bio
brother, had good deal Of human ma.
ture in him, even il he was only wears
old, lie prayed: oh, Lord, bless
brother Bill. and make him es good \
boy as I am
young lady applying for q situs.
ton asi.teacher in Spencer county.
hy. II reply to a question, said 4
atn't much Of a arithmetioker, but am
an elegant grammarest,
John what is that peculiar smell2 ask.
ODD mans wife a. he was trying TO
steal in bed without waking her, about
o'clock n. N. That's the incense we
use in The lodge room, nay dear; it OK
haies--it exhales- - Yes, know, she
Interrupted: y rocognizs the odor of
Xxx alea.
Can / bid?' asked droll fellow, "a
no put his head into an euctionaer's
shop. Certainly. replied tho auction.
eer. 'Then bid yon good evening,
no remarked "a be walked smiliugly
away.
Your agaa asked tho Judge, So,
your Honor replied the woman.
Jndge-'Hut you were 50 tho last time |
you gcrc here, 8 years ago She
And docs your Honor think I'm the
woman 10 cay one thing ono day, and
another thing another.-Ex.
The Lyon Medical says that Ptofess-
or Mnlgaigne is much dreaded by stu.
dents on account Of his irony ct exsmi-
nations. One day ne was discussing
some obacuTe points IN students the.
sio.sS tho candidate replying almost at
Fandoi1. Now sir exclaimed tbs ira. .
examiner, can you tell mo VIVA. to GRO
ate moans" Create! atammered the
youth; ii means to mako come.
thing On, ofuo'bing.' That good, sir,
said Malgagne; We viii now mako YOU
n Doctor
Tho number Of people VITO say 'thoua
molassss' does not seem 10 decrease,
despite the common school system.
a dentist Ia no chicken. Ha Is 81.
ways - ruil-it.
3ap.n'lo girls lro said 20 have small,
piamp hands, and to ueo their finger
oa'' ne pens when writing love letiers.
Man IS potato-ncyor suso when he
will got into hot 9ater,