The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-04-16

Thirteen is an unlucky number for
poor man to have in his family.
A mustard plaster may not be very ar
tistc but it draws welI.-7eras SVtings.
fop is one who takes great pains
About everything except his brains
This aud That.
barber must De IN a very destitute
condition ii he HASN'T a thing to call his
hone.-7eras Sytiugs.
The Inhabitants of India arc not anv
wickcder than the rest of mankind, and
yet they are raising cayenne all the time,
--Burtington Free Press.
''Thats little off COLOR" said the
swain rs he wiped the paint from his
lips after he kissed his swcctheart,s
cheek. .-Neeo York Journal.
A woman with u broom in one hand, a
dust pan in the other and a dirty towel
around her head, is a sight to make the
gods weep.-C Chieayo Lectger.
We used to have some respect for the
thermometer, but it acted in such q low
manner during the past winter that we
became disgusted with it.--Boston Post.
Man wants but little here below,
Nor wants that little short;
And yet It's not exactly SO
With the strawberry quart.
-Hatchet.
A New Hampshire woman claims that
she has not broken plate or cup for
thirty years. Her husband must be re-
markabIy well behaved. .--Buylinyton Free
Press.
In some regions of Africa girls must
be six feet high before they are allowed
to marry. And pray why shouldn't Hy
men insist upon high women. Bost1n
Tlaascrpt.
Like some stout hinge that holds the front
And creaks a husky welcome to the guest,
The solemn beefsteak seized and LAID at
rest,
Lies at full length and covered half your
pate
vo.ive victim that awaits its fate.
You bite the dainty as it looks its best,
And then with aching tooth and fallen
crest
You curse the ancient steer that died SO late.
Life.
About the only reference to base ball
in holy writ that we remember is whe1e
Rebccca goes to the right field with a
pitcher. The right field for water.-
Chicaqo Leoger.
"Now, that's what l call most
gratifying sign!" smirking bill collec-
tor SAID to the man who dashed his name
on a bank check for large amount
Whitehall Times.
"To test your vanity" says an ex-
change, "slip down on the sidewalk in
us more like test of your trousers than
your vanity. Graphic.
TIE DOG AND THE INSECTS.
A dog within grocery sat,
Beside a basketful of fat
And luscious grapes;
And as the flies flew in to sip
The grape juice, this fierce dog would snip
Them up. snap-kzp
No fly escapes.
But soon a hornet 1oated by,
Snap! Whiz Behold the groceries fly,
And hear that yell.
A streak of dog is all we see
And why that hornet in the tree
Seems just as glad as he car be,
| cannot tell.
Cincinnati Tinles-.Star.
According to reports from all quarters
more summer hotels and resorts will
change hands for the coming season than
ever before. The former clerks will, In
most cases, run the hotels, ana the LOT
mer propretors will be hostlers. .-Brook-
Ign Times.
Yes, my son, it is a solemn eternal TACT
that s'Truth once crushed to earth Will
rise again" An in these days of awful
carelcssness truth is kept SO busily en-
gagged in performing the gran rising
act that she looks like a woman picking
m pins -Bzl7Nette
THE MILKMAID's LOVERS.
The mikmaid's young, the milkmaids fair,
And the mikmaids name is Mary,
She can deftIy turn patent churn
And she's queen of the farmers dairy.
The pIowman made love to the milkmaid
fair,
And the maiden his love rejected,
But he did not swear and tear his hair
AS the milkmaid fair, expected.
tsI'm bound to heifer in peace or strife,
The maiden heard him mutter;
ssThe queen of the dairy shall be my wife
And / won't have any but her"
sT,m in love with druggists clerk, she
said,
"Then pray be not persistent;
,Tis a pharmacist I'm going to wed
for assistant "