The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-09-05
HUN OROIS.

BEER is an excellent tonic" Alittle
Tentonic for some people.-Philadel-
/ Dhia Cal.
/ GEN. HAZEN sailed for Europe yes
terday. 1t Is hoped weshall have bet
/ ter weather now.
\ SHORT horse Is soon curried, but he
must Iirst be caught. The same may
/ be said or a short CaShIer.-TeiegTaph.
WOMEN dentists are gaining ground
in Germany" says a Boston paper.
AChers OF 1t, no doubt.-LOweHC COur-
Ter.
4 SULLIVAN COUNTY man caught a
three pound trout and while in mid
air it was seized by hawk and carried
of with the fly and fifty feet OF line.
Such a little difficulty as fixing the
weight of a fish before it is landed
can't swerve a sullivan County liar
from his duty.-S. +. Newsletter.
AN indignant correspondent asks a
morning paper why 1t is that little
boy OF six is arrested for fishing in
certain pond in which a fish commits
sioner bathes regularly. Without
committing ourselves 1t would seem
that it is because the little boy is not
a fish commissioner Boston Tran
script.
IT takes a Melrose boy to get at first
principles. At a recent exhibition in
that suburb the clergyman asked,
"What does God give to guide every
ones daily life ." OF course he thought
the scholars would say the Bible, con
science, etc, but one little fellow
shouted out, Common sense. .'-BOs-
ton Globe.
II this proves a chestnut III pay
the customary fine. It represents
"Rebecca, the old lady shouted up
the stairs, was you goin' TO de
barty2' YES, mutter, answered
Rebecca. 'Vas you gettin' ready"
inquired the old lady. ''Yes, mutter,"
replied Rebecca. "Vill | wash for
high-neck or a low-neck dress ?"
Buffalo Express.
WHAT is the difference asked the
newspaper mans little daughter, who
had lust completed dressing her new
doll; what Is the difference between
Mr.. Roach's rejected vessel and my
new dolly ?" "IdOn't know" said the
parent, stroking the little girls blonde
tresses. "What Is the difference ?"
''Why, don't you see? One Is a Dol
phin and the other Is doll finished" ."
The father groaned aloud.
A PONTIAC little boy was told at
Sunday school that when ne died he
would leave his body here. Alter his
return home he was Cluch troubled III
reguard to it, and questioned his pa
rents. His mother explained by say
ing: You will take all the good with
you, but leave all that's naughty here
below" He thought u moment. and
looking up said, 'Weu, guess III be
awfully thin when | get there. De
trOit Post.
WAITING wife-Why, Henry, how
strangely you look and act What in
band ,angrily Nothing the matter
with me. W. wife-But there must be.
Have you been drinking absinthe2
f. ACKNOWLEDGMENT been drinking
anything I'm perfectly sober. W.
wife much relieved dl-Ah, that sit |
thought there was something very un-
usual about your looks and actions.
philadelphia Call.
IS early days in Scotland people
that felt sleepy during gthesermon used
to shake of drOwsiness by standing
up; hut poor hJmannaturem made this,
at times. an occasion OF display. At
Old MOnkland a man who had on
rather gaudy vest stood up more than
once, and threw back his coat, appar-
entity to let the vest be seen. Mr..
Bower, the minister, said at length:
moo, John, We had bitter sit doom.
We have a seen your Draw waist
coat"
A wELL-KNOwN Deacon Is response
BILE for the following: "The weakest
point in our Baptist machinery Is the
lack Of some plan for relieving the
churches Of pastors who refuse to re
sign after 1t Is manifest to all dIslnter-
ested persons that a change is desira-
ble. As It is now, pastors often hold
on simply from the fear that they can
get no other place should they resign.
All other denominations have some
safety valve Just here: but the Bap-
fists have none. The pastor mas to
die or there must be a blow-up III
order to get rid OF him" There Is
something in that view of the matter.
For one to hold on when his work is
done-hoId on Just for fear he could
not do as well for himself If he were to
give place to a more acceptable minis
ter-is a sad thing. VA
Religious Herald.