Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-07-31
FUN

The Fashions In Jokes.
The plumber joke is getting little out
Of season, but it may be packed in CAM
phor and will be in style when the freezes
come again.
The roller-skate joke is very popular and
Is worn on all occasions, either with or
without trimming.
The rich-editor joke does not appear to
pail upon the taste. 1t is quite becoming
when worn with passementerie edging.
Spring-poetry jokes are undergoing re-
vival and are quite the au fat IN recherche
circles. With a waste-basket overskirt
they may be worn either morning or even
ing in the house.
The young-man-and-girl joke holds
it own, and is really one of the most pop
ular and fashionable seen in polite society.
The mule joke is relegated to the COM
moner classes, and may really be called
''old-fashioned. It is still in favor in
che rural districts, and seems destined to
continue SO for several years.
The very wheat three-o 'clock-in-
the.morning joke is not in such favor as
formerly, but still many insist upon max
ing it part Of their daily wear.
The liver-pad joke has almost disap-
peared. Occasionally, however, it may be
seen tied in with knot of ribbon quite
prettily.
The honest-politician joke is too de-
colette to be popular. If cut high in the
neck it might reign for brief season.
The sleeping policeman joke had many
friends and babe fair to become courtly in
its style. but it lacked tone and fell into
line with ordinary styles.
Puns are popular with all classes. They
may be worn as bangles, and in an in
finite variety of ways.
The boarding house pie. hash, or gum
shoe steak joke enjoys a periodical reaais-
sanco and seems to retain its original
luster. When made up properly it is still
favorite.
The young-husband-p aregoric joke may
be worn on evening occasions. and is not
altogether out of style.
The fashions in other lines continue
about the same as per last report. OF
course, with new demands come new sup.
plies. and though there is nothing new,
the old things are SO artistically worked
over that they pass quite readily for orr
ginal esigns.-Merchant Traveller.
A CONsIDE ATE CAsHIER.-"Mr.
Money Mr.. Money I! oh Mr.. Money /"
yelled man early one morning at bank
presidents front door. rafting the bell in
the meantime as an accompaniment.
"Well, what the deuce do You want ?"
shouted Mr.. M, sticking his head out of
an upstairs window.
"Why-why, Mr.. Money, the cashier
has skipped and the safes standing wide
open," grasped the ca1ler.
''All the money gone 70
''Yes, sir; safes empty.'
ibid he leave the building ?''
''Yes-yes, sir.
'That's good. Run to the telegraph Of
fee and wire him the thanks of the presi-
dent and directors to Montreal. I'll be
down after breakfast
THE DEADLY STRAWBERRY FEsTI-
vAL.-The household was in great tribu
lation. Jimmy Tuffboy had been iRdulg
ing at an infrequent Sunday school festi.
val.
''I hope he is not dangerous. doctor. Do
you think SOP" said his anxious mother
mo, not dangerous, exactly. He has a
slight attack of peanutico bananaria, with
some symptoms of icecreamitls and caku-
rum. guess he'll pull through"
You bet will, Doc, old son." said
Jimmy, feebly. :'There's 'nuther festival
over ter de Methodist next week."
His mother was so much encouraged that
she fed the mustard plaster to him in
spoon and bound wintergreen ''sling"
on the painful pc rtion of his anatomy.
'sAunt JULIA said blooming girl of
seventeen, .'what is nee essary in order to
write good love letter ?" We'll" replied
the aunt, 'you must begin without know
ing what you mean to say and finish with
out knowing what you have written.''
"What ia the matter with the baby ?"
asked lady of little girl, whose baby
brother she understood to be ailing. sob,
nothin' much" was the answer. "He's
only hatchln' teeth"
The curtain had just dropped on the
FIRST act and he already had his hat in his
hand when she, putting her hand in her
pocket, said: "Here, dear. 1 thought you
would want one; you needn't 60 OUT"
and she handed him a Glove.
s'Can you give me definition of moth
ing ?" inquired school teacher. Eyes,
mum. It's a bunghole without a barrel
around it,' shouted little Ted Saunders,
whose father is a cooper.
'fYou ought to come and see us every
evening, Mr.. Trotter." why, Johnny 7"
because it makes sister Rosa SO happy
to have you go away. You ought never
to miss an evening" They missed Trotter
for the rest of that evening.
.I wish had eyes in the back of my
head said young lady the other even
ing. "Why?" asked devoted admirer,
breathlessly. $50 that could see what
was going on without the trouble of turn
ing my head" "You can turn my head
without any trouble" responded the youth
with gloomy sigh.
It is much harder work for a man to
care for his children an hour and half
L.. :Eo IL ol... II