Smyrna times., 1885-11-25
WHOLE NO. 1888.
Here and Elsewhere,

AOoOAJ J.
Rockland Lake is to be stocked with
Oregon trout.
The boom in business has evidently
come to stay.
Farce.seeing people: The audience
at a variety show.
Jokes on the sealskin sacque are said
to be fur-fetched.
A duck of a man generally makes a
goose of a husband.
No one can surpass a deaf mute in
expressing silent contempt.
Loves warning cry: Don't Jack;
you hurt my vaccination"
"Love is blind" but it gets along re-
markably well without a guide.
The young man who gets smitten
with a girl often gets mitten, too.
lam crumbling, Egypt, crumbling,"
mournfully remarks the Obelisk.
Seems as if Hallowell, Me-, ought to
be good town for the telephone.
Ex-Weigher Sterling thinks the ways
OF politicians are past finding out.
1t is curious physiological fact that
corn never grows on the right foot.
An onion is very aromatic, but you
would not carry it in your pocket for
cent.
Whiskey has broken the color line
IN Georgia to an extent no question has
before done.
The bicyclists of GAINESVILLE have
concluded that it is not proper for them
to ride on Sunday.
The Casino Rink in Goshen has been
sold for $4,000. 1t will be opened as a
flour and feed store.
The Chicago Ipter-Ocean t-hearsely
inquiries if ian undertakers nose is
the scenter of gravity?"
A man should never praise his wife's
bonnet until he is sure she dosen't
want a dress to match it.
The cannibals have an easier time of
1t than the man who eats shad. There
are only 240 bones in the human body.
A minister, having some of his old
sermons, was asked what he had in his
package. dried tongue" was his re-
ply.
1t is some what remarkable that
every country which enjoys the protec-
ton of England soon becomes bank
rupt.
About twO-thirds of the children born
in Dakota are girls. The supply will
equal the demand in about seventeen
years.
They are betting at the Hoffman
House, New York, that the Demo-
cratic party will send Grover Cleveland
a blue envelope in 1888.
Archdeacon Farrar will deliver his
last lecture, Farewell Thoughts on
America" in the New York Academy
of Music, on December 3rd.
The platforms of the Sixth Avenue
Elevated Road, are being heightened
in order that longer trains may run
during the commission hours.
The New York Aqueduct Commits
sion has authorized the Comptroller to
issue 100000 of bonds for defraying
the expenses of the commission.
1.-Two souls with but a single
thought" is line that is kept standing
in a Chicago newspaper office as a
heading for the next divorce case.
Josh Billings wrote: "I have known
a man who was so pious that when he
went fishing on Sunday he always
prayed to the Lord for good luck"
The Porte has sent to the Powers a
formal protest against the Servian in
vasiOn of Bulgaria. Turkey reserves
the right to take military action in the
matter.
Nine hundred and twenty millions of
dollars is what it cost Europe last year
to be ready for war-enough to build
one million comfortable houses of six
rooms each.
Ladies are just beginning to fully
realize the meaning of the "horrOrs of
, war" The Mahdi's war blocked the
export of nearly $3,OO0,0O0 worth of
ostrich feathers.
Nearly all the Georgia dailies are re-
dictionary spoils-shriekers of the most
| vOluable kind, and yet they are Won
! ! dering why immigration flows by them,
and goes to Florida.
81 don't like this November wealth
er," said a pretty Glenwood girl, who
has a beau. " 1t is too cool for outside
courting and hardly cool enough to
? keep fire in The parlor."
e The Argentine Republic has just
made a contract that calls for the ex-
penditure of $50, 100000 in improving
f harbors, building railways, and on
/: other internal improvements.
= The Liberal newspapers through
: out Scotland, in their editorials COM
! menting on Mr.. Gladstone's speech at
: West Calder, renew their anger re-
) specting the Church question.
n The WOman's Christian Temperance
: Union of Newburgh has leased rooms
: and fitted them up in a nice manner as
reading room for men and Others
during week days and evenings.
/ The Comptroller has reported to thu
Sr Board of Supervisors that Ulstel
f. COunty's valuation has been fixed a
= $22, 1903, 1874, and that the county mus
3. be taxed $67, ,70S.S7 for State purposes
8 James Dempsey reached Helena
,. Montana, Wednesday night and tell
pitiable story of his two companion
being devOured by wolves while OF
r their way across the mountains. Thei
a names were John Hoag and JacO
r. Scheller. Dempsey says he climbed {
k tree and saw his companions torn t
4 pieces and devoured.
In the opinion of Chief Naval Con
structor Wilson, League Island, Phila
delphia, is the most eligible place il
the country for the government to 10
cate an iron shipbuilding plant. Il
his annual report he sets forth at con
siderable length the advantages o
League Island and what is necessary t
make it what it should be.
~ There were from 1000 to 10000 pei
10 sons present at the final meeting of tn
"a Riel defense fund committee at Mon
treal. Resolutions were passed cor
demning the government for the e1
Sc ecution of Riel. After the meetin
lie about 500 French Canadian student
Se started in procession along Graf
ce street, and riot was narrowly averteC
Gentlemen who have a hankering a
TO ter law should be sure they have cas-
ce hefora burning their bridges benin