The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-01-01
everybody had good word fur the

hat set sback on his head, his ears
wrapped in n woolen comforter, his
wagon whip in his hand, an his mouth
spread very aflable, as if once in his
life things wuz a,leetle better than
"so-so."
II want ter buy some whisky"
"Got to entertain preacher at my
house, an make him a Christmas egg.
nog"
"All right" says John Raney';
"half O gallon, / suppose 81"
Now the pint O hat remark wuz
this: there wuz law in the State
forbidden any drug man to sell less
than half gallon o whisky. This
wuz ter put stop to indiscriminate
dram-drinkin' an treatin' on the part
O the boys.
"Half gallon" says Bobberts
"an' it seems as if that's sight O.
whisky fur q sober man like me tor to
be !ugg;l' nome"
ooh, it'll keep" says John; an it's
handy ter have in the house in case O.
snake bites"
"As to its keepin'," said Mr.. Bob.
berts, very grim, Preacher Showden
purposes ter pass some days" An
here he paused very eloquent.
Precisely" says Joh'l 9Th a laugh,
an a wink. Then b., i;Iled up the Jug
very def an handed. it ter the old
man.
"Hopo your health is good this
winter?" he remarked.
'So-so," says Mr.. Bobberts, with a
nod. Then he clomb inter his Vaughn
an druv away very swift. "
Some four hours later figger that
looked like the wreck O. Mr.. Bobberts
appeared in John Raney's store. His
hat wuz off, an his head wuz partly
wrapped in the wooled comforter, with
bare places shinin' through; his coat
Wuz tore, an in his hand he held list
the handle O the whiskey jug-nothin'
but the handle.
What on the earth has happened ?"
cried John an the men all crowded
round.
Bobberts toppled over inter a cheer
and it wuz some minutes before he
found his breath. But at last he como
out with blood-curdlin' story of hay
in been set on 10y tramps while ioggin'
along the lonesomest part O. the rond.
They robbed him, an they fit him, an
they stole his wbiskey an broke his
jug. Thar sot the old man lookin' as
pitiful as Moses in the bulrushes. He
wuzn't very poppeler, hut nobody could
help expreasin' q sympathy fur him,
an teelin' run high agin the tramps.
Some O the young fellers wuz fur
startin' out ter hunt them up; but it
wuz late an cold, an it amt so easy
ter catch thief who has his wits about
him. MIR. Gobherts set by tho stove
until he recovered hisself, an then he
says, with grin, "Well, 1 s'poso ri
have ter git some more whisky, an l
amt got cent left"
You can have it on time" saws
John, very generous. "Half gal.
lon ?"
He shook his head. "No," saws he
this has been mighty bad year on
us farmers, John, an l can't afford
another halfgallon, but I'll buy a
quart, if you'll sell it ter me-"
This wuz sort of dilemma fur
John. On the one hand wuz his old
neighbor, whom he RELY wanted to
oblige; on the other, the law.
"Seems ter me, John," says Farmer
Bobberts, "you might do me q good
turn, seein' as it's Christmas-time.H
John wuz a-knitten' his brows, but
of sudden his face lit up. "Tell you
what I'll do," says he. dI'll sell you
a quart, an add it ter the halfgallou,
SO | can put down on my book sale
of Mree-quarts, don't you see. That'll
make it all right with the law, an
satisfy you too, Mr.. Bobberts."
"Jest So" said the old man. An
after little more talk he pocketed his
quart of whisky an druv off fur the
second time.
Their wuz quite turnout at the
meetin'-house next day ter hear Faith
er snowden preach. He wuz in one
OF his belligerent fits. an Il wuz jedged
Brother Bobberts's eggnog he'd been
uncommon strong. He took o good
Christmas text, an preached along fur
g while very decorous, then, all Of q
suddint, off he branched.
"Says he, a-slappin' his hands on the
Bible, But ther is some things, nv
brethren, in this sacred book as must
not be took too literal. We hear q
gre't. deal, fur instans, about not seein'
the mote in your brothers eye on nc
count O the beam in your own.
That's { very pretty figger, but it
won't hold waie.. I've got my faults,
huge as the mountains, an plentiful as
the leaves; b,G aphat spouM Ibe 4outh
as preacher # / made um6reiier Of
EN-, tei prevent my seein' the faults O
my fellCw-sinners Il is :cy missi, n
ter find out the wickednass an the
misdoin's of my brethren in the Lord,
an it's every Christian mans duty ter
60 and do likewise. It's the protection
Of society an the bulwark Of liberty.
Their wuz once felier who wuz set tsr
guard treasure. His name guz
Argus, an he had as many eyes as
ther are freckles on q turkeys egg, or
spots on a peacock's tail. An when
one o them eyes wuz closed in sleep,
the others would be wide awake,
Always on the lookout; couldn't ketch
him nappin'. An so the sinner in this
world must be made ter feel that Ar.
gus is a-watchin' of hir.. When nv
eye is shet, Brother Bf Dberts's is open