Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-06-26
MARRYING.
A Collection of Spicy Anecdotes Relating
to Weddings.

A Collection of Spicy Anecdotes Relating
to Weddings.
There was a clergyman who married
a couple, and at the wedding breakfast
n of the bridesmaids expressed a
wish to see that mystic document, a
wedding license, which she had
beheld in her lifetime. The request
occasioned a fearful discovery. The
clergyman had quite forgotten to ask
for the liceuse; the bridegroom had left
tit his ''best man. to procure it, and
this the ''bcst man. had forgotten to
do. OF course the marriage vas no
legal marriage at all. The wedding
party broke up in dismay, and the cere-
mony was performed again mex day.
The poor clergyman, however, never
got over the effect of this blunder.
On another occasion a clergyman got
himself into considerable trouble; he
was of the type known as Ritualistic,
and persuaded a worthy couple who
mad been married at a nonconformist
chapel that they had not been ecclcsias-
tically married at all, and that it was
necessary that they should be married
over again at the parish church. This
was very much resented by the nom
conformist interest and the clergyman
was put upon his trial at the Oxford
Assizes. The Judge took a very lenient
view, and said that. as the parties had
already been legally married, any
further service was illusory and mere
child's play, and that she might Just
as well have read 'Chevey Chace' over
Them"
In n of his novels Charles Reade
makes his hero, a clergyman, wonder
whether he might not legally marry
himself to the heroine, especially as
they were both cast upon a desolate
island. It may be as well that novel
lists and novel-readers should be aware
that for a clergyman to otficiate at his
W marriage S utterly illegal.
One day an elderly gentleman met a
young one. II have had a hard days
work." said theyoung Eevite. 81 began
at seven O'Clock this morning by mar
rying a young couple" ''Allow me to
inform you," said his senior, s.that a
marriage at that time of day, accord
ing to English law, is no marriage at
all. Moreover, to the best of nv be-
lief. you have made yourself liable to
seven years penal servitude. Between
eight and twelve is the prescribed time.
You had better go back as soon as you
can and marry them over again"
L have known brides, when the
grooms have failed to make the proper
responses, prompt them Immediately
and with the greatest facility. AS for
the men. they commit all kinds of blum
ders and bunglings. l have known a
man, at that very nervous and irving
moment, follow the clergyman within
the communion rail and to
take Il place opposite him. 1 have
stretched out his hand to unite those of
the couple, take it vigorously in his
w and give it a hearty shake. Some
times more serious difficulties occur.
Some ladies have had an almost I'M
comparable reluctance TO use the word
"obey;" one or two, if their w state
ments are to be accepted, have ingen-
iously constructed the word %''nobey."
The word, however, has still to be for
mally admitted into the language.
There was one girl, who was being
married by a very kind old clergyman,
who absolutely refused to utter the
word ''obey." The minister suggested
that, if she was unwilling to utter the
word aloud, she should whisper it to
him: but the young lady refused even
this kind of compromise. Further,
however, than this the clergyman re-
fused to accommodate her; but when
he was forced to dismiss them all with
out proceeding any further the recall
cit4ant young person consented to
''obey."
The difficulty, however, is not always
made on the side of the lady. On one
occasion the bridegroom wished to de-
liver Il little Grafton qualifying his VOW,
and describing in what sense and to
what extent he was<using the words of
the formula. He was. of course, given
to understand hat nothing of this
kind could be permitted. There was
one man who accompanied the formu-
la with ~sotto-voce remarks which must
have been exceedingly d~isagreeable to
the officiating minister. He inter-
polated remarks after the fashion of
Burchell's "Fudgep' ..With this ring
1 thee wed; that's superstition ''WitR
my body | thee worship; that's idola-
try" :'With all my worldly goods 1
thee endow; that's a lie." 1t is a won-
der that such a being was not con-
Quoted out Of church by the beadle.
This puts n in mind Of an anecdote
that is told of Il man who in his time
was a Cabinet Minister. There was a
great discussion on the question
whether a IA can marry on three
hundred pounds a year. ''All I can
say said the great man, sis that when
I said: with all my worldly goods I
thee endow,' so far from having three
hundred pounds, I question whether,
when all my debts were paid, l had
three hundred pence.' Eyes, my
love-" said his wife, ''but then you had
your splendid intellect" 81 didn't
endow you with that, ma'am," sharply
retorted the right honorable husband.
When the bridegroom has returned
thanks, after the parsons speech, in
these days OF feminine oratory, there is
sometimes a tendency on the part of
the bride to make a little speech of her
own. 81 call you all to witness said
l-s1 $500 an L II