davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
The Kings Kiss Worth $40.
GDo,celps History Of Tarution.1

Sometimes Edward w applied personally to
the rich for aid; sometimes by letters and
sometimes by means Of Commissioners, in the
manner used in former times for the tallages
on the tenants of demesne. The first method
is amusingly illustrated in the case Of the be-
nevolcnt widow Of the well-known story. Ed
ward, one of the handsomest men of the age
until wornout by debauchery. was moreover,
particular favorite with the ladies; and this
rich widow. when he asked her for a benevo-
lence, gave him EGO down at once, saying: by
my troth, for thy lovely countenance thou
shalt have even go" The King, who had
Cooked for scarce half that sum, thanked her,
and lovinglie kissed her." gaining her heart
and purse, for she doubled the benevolence,
paying another EGO, either "because she es-
teemed the kiss of King so precious jewele,"
or because the flavor of his breath did SO
comfort her stomach"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
in Paris the garcons wear neebreeches

restaurants in Paris the garcons wear breeehes
and doublets.
The Florida Medical and Surgical Journal says
that this year consumptiveS seeking Localities
apart from the thickly populated cities. Many OF
them are going to the high pine lands in the GEN.
trail and western part of the State these being Pc
cuiiarly adapted to this class of nvslids account
of their dry atmosphere and equabe temperature.
But even there patients must live circunsspectly
and temperateiy.
The Macintosh Of Macintosh has cleared sorne
OF the best pastures in Iverness-shire where $50
sheep and hundreds Of cattle have fed, and has
swept away two of the best farms in the district in
order to make new deer forest.
The Medical World states that DR.. A. W. Ross,
an anti-vaccinationist of Montreal, when about to
leave the city compelled, like the other pas
sengers, to show his The interesting fact was
then disclosed that he had recently vaccinated HIM
self in two places.
DE Lesseps has raised, all told. for his Panama
project 1853, 500, 000-but the backbone of conu-
nent is hard to drill through.
The latest gastronomic novelty in Paris Is roast
monkey.
The ex-Empress Carlotta, widow of Maximil-
liam, is rapidly failing both in mind and body and
will probably not live through the Winter.
The revenue of the Canadian Dominion In 1885
Is 100000 less than its expenditures
A Maine newspaper says that the village OF
Prospect Harbor, Godsboro Co., s. has church
society, no temperance society, no gin mill, no
drunkard, and no pauper."
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
A Journalistic Gem.

That cowardly cur, the editor of the Rip
shorter, can talk fight bnt every one knows
what kind Of hairpin he is. Why, an ordi-
nary glass of good "budge" will knock him out,
and when he tackles dose of genuine Rocky
Mountain tangiefoot he is laid out stiff as 4
poker. He's the worst lop-sided, cross-eyed,
one-eared son of galoot in these diggings, and
we warn him that he'd better carry his shoot
ing-irons with him, for we're going to put some
holes in his carcass the first time we see him.
Our name is Two-fngered Jake, and we are lay
ing for him.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
The Deacon's Funeral Wreath.
TChrisfidn at HorE.

The story has just started. 1t is not to be
supposed it will stop on its travels short of
Australia or Siam: "a Deacon in a Western
town recently died. His pastor soon paid a
visit of coincidence to the bereaved widow. She
asked the minister if he would like to see the
funeral wreath. He assented. She led him to
the much priced memento, and pointed out its
pecuiiarities. In a broken voice she said:
THE red flowers were made of his red dannels;
the white ones of his white fannels The
stamens were made of the coffin shavings, and
the pistils of his beard. The berries and buds
were made of the pills that were left when he
died. and the feathery part was made of the
feathers of the last chicken dear James killed
before he was taken ill., All this she said
without pause for breath, and ended her
CHASTITY description of the treasured wreath by
imploring the bewildered clergyman to lead in
PRAYER"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
Sam Jones Again.
ATLANTA Constitutional

Sam Jones's turn" story, as told at the
Methodist church Friday night. is as follows:
"There was married couple with half dozen
children and only one bed. The whole family
slept on that bed-and were so thick that one
couldn't turn over unless all did. So when
any one got tired sleeping on one side he'd say
Turn and over the whole family went. They
got so used to it that even when they heard
the word turn in their sleep they would hus-
tie over. One day the old man was fishing on
a log bridge over the river The sun was hot
and the fish want biting and he fell asleep
balanced on the log. One of the boys saw him
and thought he would try joke, and halooed
out 'Turn!' Over the old man went kerfiop
into the water. Now l want the temperance
men TO halloo 'Turn!' until the anti-men who
are asleep on the bridge over the Prohibition
river will hear it and drop in"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
An Expensive Family.

The English royal family have been fitting
up their houses Recent additions and altera-
tons at Marlborough House, the city home of
the Prince of Wales, have cost a much larger
sum than was originally estimated and Parla-
ment will be asked to vote another amount
nearly as large rs was granted for the purpose
last session. There will also be a good bill
from Windsor Castle, as considerable amount
of work has been going en- there this Autumn,
both on the public and private apartments. A
large suite on the South side between the Vic
toris and York Towers has been redecOrated
and refurnished for the occupation of Princess
Beatrice and her husband. The Queen has
also ordered a suite of rooms to be arranged for
their use at Buckingham Palace, where they
are to reside when in London.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
King Theebaw's Waggish Way.
london World

The authorities at the War Office predict
speedy and successful termination Of the expe-
dition to Burmah. The advance by the IRA
waddy and the capture of Mandalay present no
formidable difficulties and it is probable that
King Theebaw will be killed by his subjects
before we arrive at the capital. Not only has
this worthy Prince managed to procure the
murder of nearly the whole of his relatives,
but, on receiving a gun some months ago from
his French friends, he requested the engineer
who brought it to give him proof of its capabili-
ties by destroying an inhabited village COM
manded by the citadel, and was much annoyed
when his injunctons were disobeyed.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
Utah's Wonders.

There Is in tho extreme north of Utah mag
nicent subterranean RESERVOIR of first-class soda
water, bubbling and eifarvescing out of the
ground in such quantities that all America
might be supplied. In the extreme south, on
the road to Orderville, is sn equisite circular
lakelet that is always Just full to the brim with
water as clear and rs green as beryl. And
wherever the water OverilOws the lakes edge it
encrusts the ground and the grass and the
fallen leaves upon it with fine coating of
limestone, SO that tho brim is growing higher
and higher with the imperceptible but certain
growth of coral reef, and in the course of gen.
erations the lake will become concerted basin.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
A Notable Character.

A correspondent of the Petersburg Inder-
Appeal mentions Mr. Henry w. Carpenter, of
Greenville County, Va, a character deserving
of mention. He is So years of age. has been
farming for himself 65 years has had but two
horses during that period, and the one now used
by him is 80 years old He has had the same
cook for 35 years-a free negress of the old ISSUE
He has never married, but it is said has ad-
dressed all the grandmothers and mothers in
his neighborhood, and still shows his admira-
ton of the fair sex in his devotion to their
daughters. and is now paying special attention
to girl IA years of age.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
How Doctors are Made in Texas.

A Texas doctor gives the Medical Bulletin an
account of the ease with which doctors are made
in that State He took a six-hour ride with
Texan villager, who asked him a great many
questions about the remedies used for certain
diseases then prevailing in that locality. On
the following week he had occasion to visit
neighboring village, where he found his recent
companion with his shingle out as full-fedged
DOCTOR He had graduated in that six-mile ride.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
PERSONS AND THINGS.

In the Samaritan Synagogue at Nablous there
Is an altar covered with veil of yellow silk, and
within this altar is kept manuscript written, 1t Is
claimed, by Abishua, the son Of Phineas, $500
years ago It is seen by the congregation but once
q year. when elevated above the priests head on
the Day of Atonement
An ingenious and irreverent tavern-keeper In
Paris sought to open a house with the barmaids
got I'D as nuns and the barmen monks, but the
Government withheld the license At some of the
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
The Blamed Thing Was Dry.
dublin (Ga.) Gdzette.l

A good one is told upon one of the country
men who attended the fair. While in the city
he thought it his duty to attend the opera.
Securing seat, he was intently viewing the
stage when some one at his side, thinking from
the squint of his eyes that he was near sighted,
kindly handed him an opera-glass. The old
fellow was profuse in thanks aud hiding the
glasses behind his hat, turned it up to his lips
for a moment, and then handed it back with
the remark that the blamed thing is dry"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
Ahoat Gen. Sherman.

I heard good story about Gen. Sherman the
other day. Some one wrote him letter re-
questing a lock of his hair and an autograph.
In reply the General said: 81 regret to state
that as my Orderly is bald, and as the man who
formerly wrote my autographs has been dis
missed, cannot comply with your request"
This was mailed without his signature.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
Cure for the Deaf.

PECK's PATENT IMPROVED CUSHIONED EAR
DRUMS PERFECTLY RESTORE THE HEARING
and perform the work Of the natural drum.
Always in position, but invisible to others and
comfortable to wear. All conversations and
even whispers heard distinctly. We refer to
those using them. Send for Illustrated book
with testimonials free. Address f. HISCOX,
653 Broadway, N. Y. Mention this paper.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
Loss UpOn Loss.

Grocer(to farmer) II hear that you have met
with sad loss, Mr.. Haysesd.
Mr. Hayseed-Yes; six my finest hogs died
last week with cholera
Grocer-I understand your wife is dead, also.
Mr.. Hayseed-Yes, she died week afore last.
Misfortunes, they say, never come singly.
could have got $40 apiece for them hogs.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
Gave the Evidence OF It.

Several gentlemen were talking in q saloon
about absent-minded people. Gilhooly said he
thought that old Prof. Snore of the University
of Texas, was the most absent-minded man in
the business. "He was on his way to the train
when he imagined that he had left his watch
at home. What do you suppose he did?" asked
Gilhooly. IL have no idea" responed Kosci-
usko Murphy. "Well, in his absent minded
ness he pulled out his watch to see if he had
time to 60 back home and get it."
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
Fond OF Music.

[Ne,u ORLEANS Picay,tnel
The Rev. Sam Jones says that when he gives
away silver dollar the eagle ON it turns to a
nightingale and sings to him all night long.
The man who values sleep will not squander
money for the sake Of making the eagle sing.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26
HOW THEY CATCH FISH.

-
HOW THEY CATCH FISH.
When man doth wish to angle.
A hook like this he loves to danglsi
He has a line 50 good and strong,
And catches fish about so long:
'"""''''''''''''''''''''''''''~g
Before he gets home the fish doth grow ()
And he tells his friends that ii stretched out 90!
But his friends, who have a-fishng been.
Know that the man has lied like sin;
And they simply sit and smile and grin.
90 90 % 90
Il Boston GLo6e.
And while they smile he knows full well
That all who lie are bound fOr-shoel;
And SO his face grows long and thin
As he sits and broods over his sin.
'l'
-[American Grocer.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26

Halls Hair Remover is officially and unquali-
fedly Endorsed by the State Assayer of Massa-
chuSetts.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26

Before he gets home the fish doth growt!)
And he tells his friends that it stretched out 20!
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-11-26

foes was close at hand, and as soon as the first
impetus of the assault had lost its force and
they could disentangle themselves from their
enemies they rapidly retreated, leaving
their wounded on the ground. Familiar as
they were with every footpath of the country,
pursuit was out Of the question, and by the
time Perkins had his men in order again the
cavalry and artillery sent by General Weitzel
had come up TO them. The first greeting over,
Mr.. Horton sought the Sergeant in charge of
the caisson-that awful load of guilt that like
a car of Juggernaut had been rolling over his
conscience all day long.
Thank God, you're here, SIR" said the Ser
gesnt, touching his cap. "Will you be good
enough 10 tell him, sir. lie don't know a thing
about it. Sure, he never ordered il, sir?"
And you didn't have TO draw on it at all 2"
said Horton with sigh of relief
No, sir, IL hasn't been opened. It's standing
back there now in the yard. and not soul near
it. The boys all followed one way or another in
the scrimmage just now, and just cut loose
from il, unhitched the team and brought them
out. The Que with the ammunition in it
moved out here, so as 70 be ready TO move away
at any time. suppose now we'll fall back I"
Very likely; but as soon as there is an op-
portunity i shall get it back into the battery,
and then explain il all to Capt Stanley"
But while all this was going on light blaze
was creeping about the abandoned plantation
yard. Fire from the cartridges had commune
Gated itself to the infamma BILE material that was
scattered in great profusion over the ground,
and before it was discovered by any of the
soldiers it was flaming furiously and first at
tracted their attention by sharp crackle
The officers of the battery knowing that one
of their caissons yet remained there spurred
at once across the open space that separated
them from the spot, and arriving at the fence
saw the flames curling themselves about tho
wheels of the artillery vehicle they had left be-
hind them, and which was now almost hidden
in the smoke and shower of sparks, and to the
minds of all but Horton threatening every in
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-12-02
DEATH OF vICE-PRESIDEN THOMAS
A. HENDRICKS.

Vice President Hendricks died very
suddenly at few minutes before o'clock
last Wednesday evening, at his residence
in North Tennessee street, indianapolis.
He returned the day before from Chicago,
where he had contracted severe cold
but no serious results were anticipated
by either his friends OF his family physi.
clan. Feeling a great deal better in the
evening, no attended, with Mrs. Hen
bricks, a reception, and, to all appear
ances, was as well as usual. He, how
ever, complained two or three times to
intimate friends of feeling i'll, but it was
not until IL O'Clock that he and Mrs.
Hendricks returned home.
During Wednesday he appeared to be
apprehensive of some approaching caami-
ty' Before 8 O'Clock the physician left
the house, and Mrs. Hendricks was sum
moned down stairs to see caller. She
was detained longer than expected, and
when she returned to the room she found
Mr.. Hendricks was dead. The end had
come peacefully and quietly. There was
no one in his room when he died. Mrs.
Hendricks was almost distracted with
grief, and could not restrain her feelings.
The house was soon filled with friends,
while crowd collected around the gate,
and it was found necessary to refuse them
admission. The doctors think death was
caused by paralysis of the heart, for had
it been apoplexy there would have been
some indications of it in the appearance
of his face
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-12-02

Nor So BAD, AFTER ALL.-Statistics
show that the people of the United States
from being one of the hardest drinking
nations are becoming the most sparing
consumers Of spirituous liquors. When
DIR. Rush, in 1885, began his attack upon
intemperance, whiskey and rum were re-
garded as among the necessaries of life,
and were 'falmost as free as water" In
farm labor ardent spirits were a regular
daily ration. 1t is related by writers of
the period that '.n the country, clergy
men drink as hard as their Pensioners /;
that women and children joined in the
revels, and that it was no more uncom-
mon to meet tipsy clergyman than it
was to see woman or half grown boy
staggering under an overload of spirits
or fam hand lying blind drunk by the
roadside" In Pennsylvania there were
in 1890 no less than 5000 stills in opera
ton in population of 43i, 1913, or one
still for every 81 of the inhabitants- chi
cage Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-12-02
-------7-7-s~ - . = 71@----
DEATH OF KING ALFONSO.

King Alfonso, of Spain, died at Madrid
on Wednesday last. His death was oc-
easioned by consumption, accelerated by
dysentcry. He was not great man in
any respect, and his death is only lament
ed by his subjects to the extent that he
had made himself popular with them as
their friend and helper. His courage
during the cholera epidemic won him the
regard of thousands besides those to
whom his sympathy was directly shown
His death leaves no one to fill his place,
and opens up the dangers of a of long
regency, with the spectre of Republic
constantly threatening those who may
undertake the management of the govern
ment.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-12-02
WHO WOULD BE INJURED.


The True american claims that the
New Jersey public would be benefited by
the proposed new route to New York oil
the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad by way
of bridge over the Kill Won Kul and
Staten Island. In what way? The
American says:
.'The only parties to be injured are the
railroads which, by preventing the enter
prise, hope to stifle competition.
"And the parties to be benefited are the
common public, who cannot have too free
n competition between live railroads. -
But the proposed new route will not
open new competitive road 10 the CHI.
zens Of New Jersey. The plan is to use
the Reading road TO Bound Brook, and
thence to build connection to Elizabeth
port. OF what possible advantage to the
people of New Jersey would this be i
What advantage would it be to South
Jersey or Trenton? OF any part of mid
die Jersey? or New Brunswick? or New.
ark ? or Jersey City? or Patersone ol
any other part of the State? II would
give them no additional railroad facilities.
1t would give them no new comparative
route. 1t would simply admit new COM
petitor for trunk line traffic, and this is
already cut up among the great roads to
SO ruinous an extent by the new trunk
line connections opened within the past
few years, as to have reduced dividends
nearly one-half on the stocks of these
roads. The effect of opening a new trunk
line competitor by this Baltimore and
Ohio project would be still farther to di-
vide this traffic, and still further to reduce
dividends. The New Jersey Central, the
Pennsylvania Railroad Company, the Del
aware, Lackawanna and Western, the
Erie, and almost every other important
railroad company in New Jersey would
suffer loss by this division of the trunk
line traffic. And as millions of dollars of
stock of these companies is held by
the people of New Jersey, by all
classes of our citizens, in all parts OF the
State, the effect upon them of this new
scheme could not fail to be disastrous.
This would entail a large and positive
loss upon the citizens Of this State by the
new route project, with no compromising
advantages of new railroad facilities, or
rates.
Then, the location of the terminus of
tic road in New York territory, instead
of upon our own soil, at Jersey City,
would deprive the State of New Jersey of
the Investment OF millions of dollars, and
involve the loss to the State Treasury Of
thousands of dollars per annum of taxes
upon that property.
The bridging of the Kill Won Kull, as
has been pointed out in these columns be-
fore, would seriously damage and proba-
bly, destroy the most important waterway
of interstate commerce in the whole
United States.
These are the parties who would be in
iured by the proposed scheme, and these
are the serious injuries that would be in
fiicted Where do the benefits come in
They do not appear They cannot be
found. --Sfdte Gazette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-12-02
CLARK PERSON, Editor.
LAMBERTvILLE. N. j.
Wednesday, Dec. 2, 1885.

The Bourbons of Atlanta had adopted
as their special device for excluding the
colored vote the plan Of having but two
ballot boxes for the entire city. AS the
total vote was between 5000 and 1900, it
was, of course, impossible 10 poll it all.
The consequence was that the whites
thrust themselves forward, and occupied
the boxes all day, while the humble col
ored man was compelled to stand back
At the local option election on last Tues
day, three 6ores at each polling place were
provided, because the white vote was di
yided, and both sides insisted on having
the fair play which they unite in denying
the blacks when partisan politics are al
issue.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-12-02

1t is to be hoped that the friends of the
temperance cause will prepare and secure
the introduction of bill at the approach
ing legislative session providing for the
closing of all drinking places at 6 o'clock
on the evening of the day preceding every
election, and for them to remain closed
until the morning of the day .folloDing
the election. This would effect a clearly
required reform. Under the present sys-
tenn the saloons are opened the moment
the polls are closed, and are Immediately
thronged with thirsty crowds. There is
more drunkenness on election night than
any other night in the year. Such an
amendment to the laws as we suggest we
believe would meet the approval of all
right-thinking persons.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-12-02
MARRIAGES.

LAIR-LAIR-By Rev C. Clark. at Quakertown.
Nov. 26. George W Lair and Sarah +. Lair, both
of Pennington
DRAKE-HUNT--In the P resby lerian Church, OF
Ringoes, by Rev. David Wills Jr., Nov. Is, Peter
v: Drake, of Hopewell, and Seila b. Hunt, OF
Ringoes.
SEYERS-WILSON Dec. 2. 1885, at the residence
of the father Of the bride, by the Rev. A. Stud
dford, ID. d., AL ONO Taylor Sewers, of Trenton,
TO Rossella A., d aughter of Mr.. Jol nil. Wilson
of this city.
SWOPE-FRETZ-Nov %, 1885, by the Rev r. A.
Studdifo rd, b. D., Horace Sylvester Swope, to,
Catharine Myers Fretz, both of Pipersyilie,
Bucks ounty, Pa.