Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1885-02-05
Essay on Butter Making.

Butter is the mature fruit of the full
blown COW. 1t is the greatest effort of
her life. The cow tolls not, neither does
she spin, yet say unto you that Solomon
in all his glory could not successfully
beat her on handmade. or rather milk
made butter. This subject l have repa-
pered and newly upholstered for use
during the Winter.
Butter comes from the COW in a liq-
uid state. 1t is quite trick to win her
confidence so that she will yield up to a
total stranger. 1 once songht to WOO tie
lacteal fluid from the milk retort Of a
large spsckled COW to whom l was a COM
parative stranger She wasn't one of
those blooded COWS that look as though
they have been cut out of a sheet of
paper with pair of scissors. She was a
low COW with coarse instincts, born in
obscurity.
Her brow was low, but she wore her
tail high and she was haughty-ob, so
naughty. The young man who had hith-
erto acquired the milk from this COW de-
sired one evening to HE him away to a
neighboring village, where he might trip
the light hombastic toe till the wee sma'
hours anents the twa.' (Quotation from
a poor speller) He wanted me to milk
his large, speckled plebian cow, and 1
said would. The movement was GER
tainly i'll advised. / undertook to do as
had agreed, but l failed. From the
moment 1 entered her stall and made a
commonplace remark to her, knew that
our acquaintance would not lead to a
warm attachment.
Somehow L felt constrained and un-
easy in her society from the moment we
met until loving friends pulled me out
through the stable window and brought
me back to consciousness. 1 never shall
undertake to milk strange cow again
until the sign is right. So far the sign
has not been right.
/ might be sent on polar expedition
and get stranded on an iceberg with no
other alternative but to milk COW or
eat an old friend, but L should hate to
tackle the COW unless the friend was a
very old friend, indeed.
Butter is produced by expunging the
juice from rare and costly chemical
known as cream. Cream is the bread on
the milk. Milk is known as dry and
extra dry. A good milaman will always
ask you whether you want your milk wet
or otherwise.
An old well digger named Grady told
me about going over into Southern In
diana at one time to dig we'll for man
named Withum. Withum was said to
be very close He was the most coDtig-
nous man in Indiana. His wife used to
skim the milk on one side and then turn
it over and skim the bubbles off. It was
o constant struggle between Withum
and his wife to see which would be the
meaner.
The first day that Grady was there
they had round ball of butter about as
heart. The butter knife had a handle
that would turn every time any one
would try to get lick at the butter and
the little round ball would flop over on
the other side and smile. Now and then
hired man would reach over with his
own knife and make slash at it, but
the butter, confident of its own strength,
would tip over with dull thud, and the
man would heave a sigh and give it up.
Then another farm hand would make a
wild dash at it, but burst int tears and
quit. Finally Grady, who had watched
this performance several days, jabbed
his fork DOWN through the middle of the
chunk and successfully cut il in two. In
The center was a small, solid wooden top
"There," says Grady, "rve tonnd out
what the blamed thing is wound On any
how" BILL NYE.