Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-10-02
SHE WOULD SAIL.
A Lover Who Has Lost Faith In Sail-l'oats
as Accessories to Lovemaking,

used to be iona OF SalllnS on tne
| Shrewsbury river, an amusement
which is very popular here, writes w.
II. H., at Long Branch, to the New
York Times. Once upon o time l was
a great deal younger than 1 am now.
and the nickel-plate upon my freshness
shone with a purer and more celestial
ulster. 1t was then that fell in love
for the first time. The girl wouldn't
| gather me in to any alarming extent
now, because l haze seen other girls
who have hit he r3uch harder and
more expcnsiyely than she did. Her
name was Lucinda. She had pale
green ewes and Il chccse-c!oth complex
ion and could eat more ice-crcam and
drink moro birch beer than any girl in
the county, and she was proud OF il.
was proud Of it, too, at first.
Things went or smoothly until n
day Lucinda got hold of i story about
a sailor and his sweetheart, and then
she wanted me to take her out on the
water in q sail-boat.
My darling" I said, 81 am not a
sailor"
.'What matters it?" said she; ''you
and | will get into q boat and the gen.
tie breezes shall watt us away over the
dimpled waters until u sails are
lulled to perfect bliss.''
"Butt' said l, SUPPOSE they should
lull us ashore on o sandbank?" l
"Porish the thought" she said.
'fThat's all right" / replied; ':perish
just as. many thoughts as you like, so
long as you don't perish me. l have a
profound admiration for my own ex-
istence."
1--WE SAIL" she declared, "or I am
mo longer yours.". So
"Under those circumstances" l re-
|plied, 1--WE SAIL" !"
So the next day l hired u sailboat for
81 and took her out sailing on the
Shrewsbury river. L did not know
then, as | do now. that the Shrewsbury
was as false as it is fair. 1t is q gener-
ally conceded fact that rivers have
bottoms, but they are not in the habit
of coming to the surface for air in all
sorts of unexpected places, as the
Shrewsbury does.
We started Off in that boat beauti-
fully. l had a sneaking notion that if
l kept the sail away off at one side of
the boat she would go along all right;
and so she did for Il considerable time.
| held the tiller with one hand, and as
much Of Lucinda as | could encircle
with the other, and our souls were be-
ginning to be lulled to a perfect bliss
with enormous success when l came to
u bend in the river. saw we had to
go around that bend. ] pushed the til
Ter one way and the'boat started for
the shore. Then ! pushed it the other
way, and we'began to go around the
bend. But the sail wouldn't stay
where | put it. 1t manifested a decided
inclination to swing around to the
side.
thought I'd hold it on. 1 pushed
and the sail pushed. We had a very
lively tussle for about five minutes, but
l found that my back was beginning to
ache, while the sail didn't weaken a
bit.
''Well, then, swing, blame you'll"
exclaimed, STOPPING down to let it pass
over.
There was a swish in the air, and the
next thing knew Lucinda and l were
1oundering in the water.
"Be calm, my darling" I exclaimed,
II willSsave you. You shall live to be
my blushing BRIDE"
[ was swimming manfully, but ]
could't for the life Of me keep both OUT
heads u of water, L%ucinda's would
go under. was beginning to fear the
worst when IMAM came running down
the shore.
Hey, you burned fool!" he said
"what are We swimmin fur? Why DON
ye stand up and walk ashore?"
We stood up, and found that the wa,
ter was very little above our waists.
We waded ashore in silence. Lucinds
cut me dead the next day. l have los1
my faith in sailboats as accessories tc
the art of making love.