The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-13
SLOAN'S JOKE.

SLOAN'S JOKE. ,
81 wonder what is the trouble be-
tween Puf1er and Gambol and Sloan.
They hate him like poison" remark
ed the judge. '-. ".s .'..'E
Haven't you heard !" inquired the
major. '''it' '- -i5 :. .,....',
NO; what is it?" ''' "..'.-.'"t
''You know what a terrible hand
Puffer writes? Some one told him
once that he wrote distimgue hand
and it set him up so that he now.
writes worse than ever Well that
happens to be his sensitive point
He prides himself on it. Gambol
has weak point, too-his eyes.
He can't help being cross-cyed. but
it worries him all the same. When
he goes to the theatre he sits with
his back to the stage to see the per-
formance. He is first rate fellow
though. About a month ago, Gamhol
asked Sloan to introduce him to
Puffer. Now, Sloan can't help plays
ing a practical joke any more than he
can live without eating. III ar
range that for tomorrow answered
Sloan: but you had better take a
pad of paper and pencil with you.
He is deaf as a post, poor fellow.
He can't even hear the foreman
swear at his copy. He is terribly
sensitive about it, too. SO when
you meet him just act as if you knew
all about it. I'll see you at his Office
at noon to morrow -r ~.
"a few minutes later Sloan was
seated in the editorial rooms Of the
Leuder.
'"I want to bring friend up here
to meet you Tomorrow" he remarked
to Puffer. ..... .,.t .,.s .. ...s.t
'"Glad to meet any friend Of yours
Responded the editor. ......... .....
| '"He is a friend Of yours, too re-
piled Sloan. He greatly admires,
your editorials There is one pecu-
liarity aaout him, thought .sjf II y
Whats that?' ..... ..,e =. ..t,,-t
Hes deaf as. a clam. He can't
hear it thunder. He doesn'. know
it, raining until he misses his UNI
brella. lie is very touchy Oh that
point. and you had better have some
paper and pencil ready when
he comes, and act as if you knew
he was deaf. 1t will make him feel
easier" The next day at noon
Sloan and Ills visitor entered the
Leader office. Puffer was waiting $,
for them Sloan, took their cards, and
gave Puffer's to Gambol, and vice
versa. Both men smiled at each
other encouragingly, and. producing
pads Of paper big enough to write
a Presidents message on, sat down
beside the editorial desk: ,....... -.
II am glad to meet you,' wrote
Puffer on his pad.
''Gambol took the scrawl and
looking at it., first out Of one eye and ,
then out of the other A puzzled
look came over his face. Finally he y.
turned the paper upside down, and
|
countenance. Taking up his pencil
he wrote:
'"I am exceedingly sorry to hear
it. Did you ever try Simpsons ex-
tract?" and handed it back to Puffer.
"When Puffer read this his mouth
]opened with astonlshment. He took
his pencil and wrote on the bottom
Of the sheet: ..r.. -. ..... .s,
Il don't want any extract. | am
not sick. simply said l was pleas
ed to meet You
"rhen he showed the paper over to
Gambol, and waited for q reply. II
Gambol was puzzled at the first COM
munication,t he was IN reality stricken
dumb at the second. He glanced
appealingly at Sloan, WHO was at
the moment attentively looking at
q picture on the wall, with his hand-
kerchief in his mouth to smother his 7.
laughter. Finally he struck what
seemed to him a clue, and he wrote
in reply:
".Yes. thanks, don't care i'll do;
but don't you think we had better go
to lunch first?' -t.s ~. ......
"Then he handed back the roll to
the editor, and smiled a smile of
mingled self>satislaction and relief, .
"When Puffer saw the answer his
disgust rose beyond his control.
He rose up in his chair, took the
paper, and handed it to Sloan.
"sSee here Sloan? he shouted.
See what this grand son of a lunatic
has written. This crOss-eyed fool
evidently doesn't understand his =
own language, What in Tophet did
you bring such q straismic ass up
to this office to meet me forS Here,
take this paper and write to him that i
I am sick to-day, or dead, or any.>
thing, and the next time you bring
a deaf and dumb idiot up here to see
me just let me know. and PH run ont
of town for week or So 4
".Tnat's all right!'- yelled Gam
bol, as he danced around the table;
that's all right, but if / wrote hand .
like yours I'd print my letters. ld
spell them out on my fingers. Ed.
hire school boy to write for me.
I'D @ % ae
SL