The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-03-21
A Poor Mans Enjoyment.

lopie P. Read, in New York Mereay,l
 "Kill him why, I'll kill him as cer tain as live. Put up with such an out. rageous insultl Never, sah ls
 The speaker was Col. Mortimer Chilli ings, legislative representative from Put nam county, Arkansaw, la one hand he held a battered plug hat, covered with mud and dripping with water.
 "What's the matter ?" asked the speaker of the house. appsoa shing.
 Matterl" exclaimed the colonel, holding up the hat "look at this"
 "How did it oecurr"
 "Occurred in the way of q direct in- suit, sah. That's how 1t occurred. For some time our county has had a great notion oi inducing immigration. Now to hit upon some practical method of ad- vertising was what bothered us. At last Sam Hines s-you know Sam. He that vas whipped once by the Kaklux. Wei, Sam he got up petition to the county court, setting forth the advantages of put ting on a little style and asking that an appropriation be made to buy plug hat for the representative in the legislature. Said that few civilized airs, put on by a member, would attract great attention and that capitalists would want to know what county the wearer of the plug had the honor Of representing. The scheme took like wildhre. The county judge said. In a speech that created great en- thusiasm, that the county had hitherto iu jured itself by allowing its representative to wear hickory shirt and pair of cop. peras brooches The appropriation was made and with proper ceremony ] was conducted over to Geesenheimer's store. He only had one plug, a mighty tall thing, but the boys said It was just the very kind, and that if eastern capitalists didn't pour into the county ii would be q great mistake on the part of people who were on the lookout for good investments couldn't help but feel proud when l put 1t on and set out for the state capital. was sure that would attract attention and did. As was walking down the street this morning ] met half drunken fellow, who told me to stop a minute, 1 did so and waited for him to explain. Around the corners of his mouth there lurked the raveled ends of peculiar grin, What do you wantp said l. The grin grew broader and the ravelcd ends of pc. culiarity seemed to Ait like the corners of bsndana handkerchief when held up in south breeze.
 "' Mister said he, am poor man with large family on my hands. have never asked charity, and until this mo. ment had never thought that l would ever ask favor of any one, but you have forced me to an extremity which ! had hoped to avoid What can ] do for you P l asked. As 1 tell you he vent on, T am a poor man. l have been cheated Of --"ch of this worlds ensoy- ment, and haze withstood many temp,a. tions, but, sah, there is crisis in the lives Of all men. Uniil few moments ago 1 was quiet and unassunning, but you have compelled me to become demonstTativc. Promise me that if my actions- which in- deed cannot restrain--prove strange and frcakish to you, that you will rehec, upon the general sadness oi my life and excuse me, and with that he hauled of with a stick and knocked my hat into the middle of the street. Now look at 1t. Before could recover from my surprise, dray ran over it and steer driven by a butcher caught 1t on his horns and car. ried Ii hslf mile. Look at Ii, will you Oh, I'm going to kill him. What expla- nation can make to the county court Hsh What can ! say when they ask me to give sn account of myself Knocked off my hat because he was poor and had never Mea any fun. Kill him Why, all the doctors In town can't keep that fellow alive"