The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1885-06-25
The I.aundryman's victim.

do wish the Washee-washee people
of the United States would call a ma
tional convention of launderers and
laundresses, and adopt a uniform style
of marking the linen that passes through
their hands. l have suffered much !
from the diversity of talent displayed
in the private marks of Anglo, German,
Franco, Hibernian, Chinese and Amer |
lean laundries. am a man not given |
to novelties. l like variety, but want |
it to be the same kind of variety. l do
not like to go round the country lee
turing in the guise of the tattooed man
of Borneo.
Now, when l put on my war paint
and sashaed forth to see whom might
gather the lecture committees in, l had
my scanty store of linen marked with
the real initials of my own honored
name-that Mrs. O'Mahony's husband
might know whose shirt he was wear
ing to church, and Mile. Celeste might
know whose handkerchiefs she stole,
and that Wun Lung might be able to
swear that the collars he offered for
sale were given to him by his deceased
friend, Ram Jam Bang. But did these
simple marks content the wash ladies
and the laundry gentlemen Nay. not
so. The first laundry gentleman mark
ed everything had with big black
x in indelible ink, save only my-ex-
cuse my blushes-hose. These dainty
little fabrics of silk and worsted, with
faint traces of cotton, he labeled by
sewing large white patch about mid
ship on the afterpart of the veal OF the
| same. left all these marks on,
hoping that, in connection with the
regularly ordained initials, they would
content the next washer gentleman.
But he was a Trojan, and he put on a
mark something like the Greek letters
| phi, psi. This was in Philadelphia
at Pittsburg | had a roundup OF my
| laundry at the Great Western Satin
| Gloss laundry, where the man with the
| indelible ink labeled everything XO,
| big and black, and sewed additional
| patches on my ahem!-hose. next
corraled my things at the establishment
of Ping Ping in Columbus, Ohio, who
stitched in frecracker joke in red
thread.
Wei and my herd of linen and
manuscript-drifted slowly to the
| northwest, and the wardrobe was
watered at French laundry in Kala-
mazoo. and branded OLA.
At Minneapolis it went to the hotel
laundry and came back bearing the
it. and with red tags on my SKIS.
This was growing interesting, and
when a brand of blue ink came into the
plot at Council Bluffs and was cast for
XOA, 1 sat up half the night reading
my things.
am fond of literature, anyhow. and
when the mental pabulum on my linen
was reinforced at .Concordia, Kan, by
the addition of w i'll black circle to
the bill of fare, l began to look about
for publisher.
At Kansas City Hang Hi worked in 4
crazy-quilt stitch on me, and at Deca-
tur, Ill, the Iaunder had a rubber
stamp, the design whereof was val
entine heart inc.osing the letters XIX
do not know the meaning of tbs
symbol unless it refers to my age
certainly has nothing to do with the
J are of my wardrobe. This man seweC
! white tags on the ears of my sick
ings, with the same design printed OIL
them. At Terre Haute, Ind, they
sewed tags on everything, from with
ers to hook, and at Valparaiso they
stitched XVII on the entire -, anC
ut Upper Sandusky [ got NYX inkeC
on everything from collar to crupper
At Beaver Falls, Pa, a Chinese gentle
man embroidered on all my things por
lions of strange, weird alphabe
wherever lac could find room for it, ant
at Uhrichsviilc, o., my linen was re
turned TO me with mote stating tina
ali articles must be plainly marked be
! fore they could be received at tn
laundry. j. Eurdette.