The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1885-07-28
THE SPIRIT OF DEMOCRACY.
TUESDAY, JULY 21. 1885.
THE ALMANAC COAT.
A Wonderful Garment That Will
FOretell the Weather and Keep
Away the Cholera.

FOretell the Weather and Keep
Away the Cholera.
"Herman," sail Hoffenstein, as be
entered the store and hung his hat on 6
nail, II hat shust had big SURPRISE, you
know"
"How vas dat, Misder Hoffenstein p
inquired Herman. noticing that the old
mar was in good humor.
"Vell, you see, | goes up nit de ex
position lis morning, und vat you dink,
I weets Jake Loewenburg und Solomon
Myers, vat vas old frents uf mine in
Vickshurg twenty-five years ago. Loe.
wenhurgh vas at de EXPOSITION as Won
ut dose Turks. und vas selling beads
und cder leedle dlngs, und Myers told
me dat be vas dere as an Egyptian. und
vas making blenty uf money. Veil, ven
sees dose fellows 1t takes my breath
right away, because I dinks dey vas dead
Myers broder Jake vas courting nv
vile Leah at de same time ! vas, und
We vas great frents. Myers dells me da,
Jake failed in pisness at Leedle Rock a
short vile ago und vas doing veil. be.
cause he fails on v"n side uf his store
uBd runs de oder"
Hoffenstein smiled pleasantly at the
idea, and walked to the door and looked
down the street, and 40 be did 80 q Gus.
toner came in.
Wat can I do for you, my frent?" be
inquired.
IL want to get good coat, hut one
that is cheap I'm q farmer, and 60 in
for comfort more than do for style "
"You vos right abont dot, my trent,
and dinks dot l can fit you mid good
article al an easy brice. Now, here vos
a coat for eight dollars. vich is de very
ding you vant," ami be pulled q coat
out OF pile of rather tough looking
clothing.
The customer commenced to examine
it, but suddenly lifted bis nose and ex.
claimed :"Whew by jingo there is q
last years smell about this coat that is
not pleasant. What have you been do
ing with it?"
81 knew you vos going to say dol" }"
said H. .ffenstein IN q nonchalant wav
GAN Of my customers say dot ven dey
lock OF de coat, because dey don't know
dot it vas one uf dose almanac, disinfec
ting coats vich haf shust peen put on de
market not more as dree months ago
De coat vot you haf in your hsnd vas
soaked In de WOOL factory we're It vas
made NIT preparation EXPRESSLY for de
purpose of keeping de cholera away, und
my bruder vot liis in Europe writes me
last week dot de Prussian Government
Won't let de people wear any oder kind,
so dot II de cholera comes along dey will
keep helty, you know. Herman, look 10
my desk und get my bruder Ike's letter,
vich We shows de gentleman. No, nefer
mind, forgot do, leaves dot letter NIT
my wife dis morning NV trent, dot
covt vas better for de cholera den all de
doctors und de medicine vot you can
haf, und de smell uf de preparation goes
right away ven you goes out NIT de air
Put on de coat, my trent, und We sees
how 1t fi,s, you know"
The customer did so, and surveyed
f ct one side Of himself and then the
other by the aid Of the dingy mirror in
he rear end of the store.
why do you call it an almanac coat ?
asked the customer, who was rather
pleased with the cut OF the coat.
Because it vos made exbts sslv for
gentlemen n vot lifs on farm. und it will
dell you how de vedah will pc, und vot
to do to save your crop You see de
changes in de vedder baf de same effect
on dot coat as dey haf on so much
quicksilver. .und vos dwice so much more
reliable. Ven you see de coat commence
to turn red around de collar it vas sign
dat dere is q full moon and it vas time
70 bant vsiermelons, und ven de tail OF
de coat sbrinks und de buttons on it 60
half way up your hack shust look out
for bad. vet vedder, und don't pull fod.
der, you know. Ven de buttons drop
den you know dat de vedder will be ine
und can act accordingly. You dake my
advice und buy dot coat. und you will
find dot you makes better crops den any
Won we're you ltfe."
The customer appeared to he satisfied,
and sfter purchasing the coat and leav.
ing the store, Hoffenstein said: "Her-
man, l vas shust dinking de oder day
dat | would eif dat old job lot avav to
'ome orphan asylum, because it has been
in de stock e'er since de var, und it
achmells de whole store up. / dink We