The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-25
BELOW ZERO.
journal by Emma Carleton.
Written for

1uere les Wnen the thermometer ana
| signal ser are laughed to scorn by natural in-
dcations. When you "feel it in your bonesH
that it is going to grow colder; when you ara
awakened in tho night by the house grooming az
its joints crack with the pangs Of veritable rheu-
matism; when the counter pane rubbing on the
end of your nose bears strong resemblance to-
the touch of cold poker; when you are almost
persuaded to defy recognized rules for god
health by sticking your head under the b
clothes in the dear, delightful fashion Of I
happy, ignorant childhood; when you dig
eyes deep into the pillow with sigh of Cd
miseration for those who have not warm pillow
| on such dreadful nights; when morning comes
but comes slowly, with her eyes only half open,
| because of the cold; when there is but narrow
line of clear glass at the very top of the FROST
etched pane; when the street cars jingle by with
that sound peculiar to cold, empty cars, and the
reluctant mules are urged on by increased and
almost justifable imprecation from their muchs
to be pitied driver; when the milkmans wheels
| crunch as if rolling on powdered glass, and his
bell rings with most penetrating and frosty
clangor; when the touch of cold water is an ago.
nizing experience which racks the soul to its ex-
treme outskirts; when hasty toilets are made,
and rapid skurrying down to breakfast
is heard in all quarters of the
house, when all these signs and tokens have
been encountered and properly interpreted, what
dreadful doom should be melted out to the cold
blooded fend who meets you-you cold, blue
and shivering to the very marrow-with the
superffuous announcement that it Is ''below
zeroa' Below indeed AS if you did NOT
| know it as soon as zero knew it. and mayhap a
little sooner 1t must be conceded that man
and the thermometer very nearly akin;
| what one knows the other knows, and a few
| degrees more or less will never break the ties
| of brotherhood. There are instances Of beings
| to whom the rise and fall of the mercury im-
| ports but little-these are outside the pale Of
our sympathy; the average man, however,
| who is, after ALL "our kind of man'-rises and
| falls, physically, mentally, nay, even spiritus
! ally with the weather fluctuations. When it la
| cold his nose gets red and his disposition is
rather more brittle. His lips and cheeks get
blue and his views of life are tinctured with the
same despondent color. His flesh is subject to
shivering, and his philosophical outlook on life
partakes Of the same instability. His toes get
cold, and the spirit which generally beckons
him churchward inclines him to linger by his
hearth instead. Indeed and in truth, the sweet
ness which is sold by the quart is not mora apt
to clog and run slowly in cold weather than
many kinds of mental sweetness which might
| be mentioned He is indeed vastly above and
| beyond his fellow man, who can smile as broadly
and blandly in January as in June, and the
| perpetrator of genuine mid-winter joke should
| be entitled to the unqualified respect of the
| community which entertans h m Mid-winteF
| conundrums should bring the highest market
| price, and even mid winter puns should be lem
| iently regarded.
neous aids for internal congealings, hot coffee
| and cakes for the inner man, plumbers for the
| water pipes, salt and hot pokers for the frozen
| pumps, base burners and furnaces for the bodys
| comfort SO we may find many methods by
which the temporary arrestaton of our mental
| sweetness and light may be met and mitigated,
if not entirely relieved. Appreciate rise in
temperature may be affected by thinking of 9th.
| er warmer things than now furnish the land
| scape. Think Of last summer, or any other
| summer, when you thought you would just die,
| it was so hot Think of Florida, where the
| doors and windows are all open, and strawber-
| ries and green peas adorn the festal board
| where the cockroaches eat the very buttons off
yonr clothes, and it is hard to tell the mosquitoes
from the spring chickens. Think of New Or
| leans, where the cisterns are on top of ground
| and two stored, at that, and the Marechal Neil
roses are as large as saucers; where the CRATES
| are about as big as a small work basket and ono
barrel of coal lasts all winter: where you cannot
! get any good milk to save your life, hardly and
| ice costs almost like precious stones; whore
bunch of sweet violets, with rosebud in tho
center, costs but ten cents, but an apple is
| thing unknown.
Books, too, will greatly alleviate the terrors
and discomforts of 'below neutrality-suspicious.
among these may be recommended John
Burroughs ''Winter Sunshine" book
destined to eternal youth and freshness.
| Read his essay 1.-THE Snow Walkers"
| and winter seems moro endurable for a time:
then 1.-THE Exbiarations of the Road" and you
| recognize the dcEghtsomeness of a brisk walk
| on a cold day; and after you have given a few
/ minutes more to his charming paper on 'rhe
/ Apple" you rejoice in your Northern birthright
| and its inspiring comforts and discomforts you
| pronounce John Burroughs, the prince of essay
| lists and winter, the king of the year Even
| while you have read the weather has moderated,
and likewise mutability Of all things presents itself
| hopefully. Even below zero cannot does not
| last forever. The frost will melt from the pane;
| the bristling ice covered trees and bushes Wilt
throw down their glittering daggers and spearss
the snow will become slush and the frozen
! cutters will soon run mad and muddy streams.
Yet few days. and tho grass will have pushed
/ OF tho cover and shown signs of getting up;
| robin will soon be caroling from some yet bare
! tree-top and tho first violet will be heralded
| from some remote corner of the yard. Yet afew
more days. and, to your astonlshment, you VIII
! find yourself sitting out of doors; some magic
touch will have robed the trees anew with leaves
| and the porch will again be a mass or vines;
| birds will be rollicking overhead, and HOVER and
/ fruit in their fullest glory You who now sit
/ almost embracing the base burner, shivering
/ and wishing IL would get warmer, you will then
| have your coat off, and your hat will be tossed
| in the grass perspiration will gem. your fore
/ head, and as you mop your face with one hand,
| and ply palm-leaf fan vigorously with the y
/ other you will be overheard to mutter. withS
/ that Inconsistency which Is generally attributed
to woman only, Good gracious how hot IL isl
TN q. IN z - AnlA