Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-06-20

Il !a>l ItNbll bNb NOh NbN'"NH hNNn
III this iaIth cure. ~. !. SHD
\ subtle Distinction ."iioW are Nuu
Chu,r? Haven't seen YOU lor an age
" hat r. YOU doing nov? "Irdirug
chrstuuls. ESQ yuu have quit the
minstrel profession, ch? 90, MOI |
am still the ru ul-man OF the troupe. W
Et,ShaS thrOHtc e i,i,yruh.
What did YOU mean ~ telling that
Internal hc?' "What lc?' "lou
said You were with Grant at the hattic
OF Bun Run. Grant was not at buiI
Run at ALL. b." "WaSn't hep mo, he
wasn't' "Well, then. there amt no
jic out, ior | wasn't there, either
II think they had better let the Old
Bible alone said f. That's wha,
you have been doing for wears, said
: Put me down for cigars for the
crowd was the response from r.
when the subsistence uf laughter cnab-
led him TO make himself heard. Dos
ton lrrrc'rr
What do YOU suppose I'll look like
when get out of thi,2' snapped a
young lady at the conductor of AN oN-
crcrowdrd cable car. IA good deal
bclringcr. And the lady hung on to a
strap and rode four miles further, with
the smile of at angel.
Il say, Longshot. where's the Irish
setter YOU hunted with last season.
"Oh. had to shoot him. Good dog;
cost me $50 when Il pup What
was the matter with him?' 'llydro-
phobia; worst way "Surcp' Yes:
howlcd and had tits every time milk
wagon passed the house
\ gentleman of Santa Cruz, Cal, the
| other day noticed sca-gulls dive into
| holes along the Gill road aud then fly
away with something in tn ir bills and
| drop it into the water. Ga approach
| inc nearer he found that the guIls were
taking gophers from their holes and
dropping them into the water.
A well-drcsscd and pretty young wo-
| man, who went about in New York
| saving that she wanted to get married.
was promptly clappcd into an insane
| ASYLUM When woman wants a hus-
band aud does not continually declare
she would not touch a horrid man with
a ten-toot pole, it is sure sign OF in
Sanity.
Bobby Cat the dinucr-table) Will
YOU tell us about your escape after din
ncr Mr. Teathcr,y? Young Mr.. Feath'
crly Ca gucsO-About what escape? l
have had no escape. Bobby-Ies, yor
have. The fool-kiler, you know. Pa
told sister yesterday that he wondered
how YOU had escaped him so long. N
| \. Times.
Jinks-I don't believe | will be HON,
before II o'clock tonight, my dear
You see it is initiation night at ou
lodge. Mrs. Jinks-lou expect to b'
home before y. then, suppose? Jink
o. yes; about IL or halt-past. Mrs
Jinks-WclI, in that case you will b'
awake and don't need the key. Jink'
The key? Mrs. Jinks-No. Th
masque ball closes about midnight
Jinks didn't 60.
A professional athlete prints instruc
tons show to walk upstairs wlthou
getting tired" Pah! Amy fool cal
do that if he'll only take enough time
What the American people want {
know is how to walk up stairs at A
NJ. in the dark without falling dow
twice, waking up the whole house. an
taking one extra step after reaching
the top. It's stepping up the step tina
isn't there that shakes mans faith il
the integrity of the human organism.
Gabe Snodgrass recently applied t
the Rev. Aminidab Bledso OF the Blu
Light Austin Tabernacle for some pc
cuniary assistance. II jess cant d.
hit" replied Parson Bledso; 81 has t
sport my pore ole mudder." Blu
yer pore ole mudder says yer don't d.
muffin for her" well, den, ef don
do muffin for my pore ole mudde
what's the use oh an outsider like yo
trying to make me shell out?"-IeEa
SytHgS.
A New York Sunday-school teache
told her pupils that when they put thei
pennies into the contributions box sh
wanted each one to repeat a Bibl
verse suitable for the occasion. Th
first boy dropped in his cent, saying
The Lord loveth cheerful giver.
4 The next boy dropped his penny int
, the box, saying: He that giveth to tn
= poor lendeth to the Lord" The thir
and youngest boy dropped in his pei
ny, saying: "A fool and his money al