The Hazlehurst signal., 1885-10-29
MY LAST REHEARSAL.
The Efficient Aid Which / Rem
dored a Celebrated Comedian.

inc EtllClcnJ Alu w ulCh tNoii-
dored a Celebrated Comedian.
Probably the theory of evolution
never received more practical Illus
tratjon. physically and mentally. than
in my ease For whereas am now
portlv, sedatc. wcll-,o-do father of 4
family. church warden. oycrseer and
guardian OF my parish. some thirty
years ago was slender. harum-
>carum bachelor, impecunious aud
ready at moments notice for any
folly which might present itself to my
cNcitable and mcrcurial temperament
Vicious. certainly was not, but mere
~ ,hough,lc,s and iuconsidcratc. Ny
namc is Matthews, and was chriStcncd
Charles. after my uncle. from whom
my father hal pccuniary expectations.
The late Charles Rcadc was undcniably
right when he said that versatility
never pays. | was u fair baritone
singer. clever caricaturiSt, an admira-
bic mimic, and enjoyed great renown
as mn amateur actor Yet at the age OF
twenty-five was entirely dependent
on my father for the ncccSSaric' of life
and pocket money. My largest creditor
AT this time was my tailor, To whom |
WAS indebted i'm the sum of nincty-livc
pounds four shilling, and siNponce.
Unless my father "Stumpcd up | had
~ much chance of Icing able TO paw
the National debt n oi dciraying this
amount. For some reason or other my
father proved unusually obstinate at
this iuncturc and declined To do any
thing in the matter; | remember he
described hi> conduct aS iirmncsS.
! have omitted 10 mention that
| was in love with u very
pretty but portionlcSS young lady
OF the name OF Walker. My father
characterized thi, circumstance u
another sample of ny thoughtlcSSncss
and pcrvcrsity, u among my ac9uaint-
ancc were several young ladies with
tolcrablc fortunes had quaSi-r,val
for Mis-, Walkers good grIccS, OF the
name Of NobbS lie WI, 30 very plain
and unpleasant in hi, manners thatl en-
tcriaincl no fears OF being OuStcd by
him. aud accordingly we were very
good friends. lie employed the same
tailor (Bink>) ~ myself, and one MEM
orablc morning Mr.. NobhS came To- me
and told me that BiukS had issued Il
writ against mc for the amount Of my
debt The law against debtors at that
date was much mOrc stringent than ii
is AT present, and | determined to leave
London and go into hiding for time,
until could prevail upon my wealthy
uncle to relieve me- OF Bnk>' claim. l
had u few pounds in my pocket, and in
formed Nobbs that would start at once
for Il small watering place which will
here call "Scamouth. | had never
been there, but had heard u good ac-
count Of il from friend who had
found il cheap, quiet and salubriOus.
In an hour had my modes; portman-
tcau packed (Which had my name duly
inscribed ON n brass plate thercOn), and
was s,caming at the rate of thirty miles
an hour for the nearest postal town TO
Scamouth. When left the train
found there was coach about 10 start
for Seamouth. distance ofeight miles.
After an hours drive was deposited
ut the doo- of the Red Lion" was
not much puzzled as To the choice of my
hotel. for the "Rcd Lion" was the only
inn in the place. Seamouth consisted
apparently of one long, struggling
street, with few detached houses
ON the outskirts. At the distance of n
hundred yards the open sea tumbled
and tossed ON the shingly beach. In
ten minutes felt rs IL had "donc"
Scamouth. and contemplated with some
feelings of dismay heightened resi-
dcncc in this secluded spot. l had al
IcduN S'NNlNu u LthlNbHl, itiN inN pOib-
manteau and ordered steak and ac-
ce,sUrics prior to my stroll round the
place. As crossed the entrance.hall
to the coilee-room found myself the
object OF special observation by the
stall of the hotel. The rubicund boni-
face saluted me with broad grin. the
antiquated waiter smirked in peculiar
fashion ~ he hastcncd To open the door
.of the coiiec-room, while housemaid
OH the stairs was evidently much more
occupied in studying my personal APP
pcarancc than sweeping the carpcted
stains. A half-length Of what was evil
d,nily the cook pecrcd from the regions
below. was about to seat myself at
one of the tables when the host adj
yanced. and. with very deferential
bow. begged that l would accept the
offer of private room. Anticipating
my objection. H. went OH 10 say that
no extra expense would be Incurred in
consequence. So u few minutes saw
me engaged In discussing juicy. ten-'
der steak, some mealy potatoes, fankcd
By ,ankard OF nut-brown ale, with an