Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-23


OF life through Incidence. They are al
ways making calculation how little they
can do tor the compensation they get.
Ihere are more lazy ministers, lawyers,
doctors, merchants, artists and farmers
than have ever been counted upon. Com
munity is full OF laggards and shirkers, l
can tell 1t from the way they crawl along
the street, from their tardiness in meet
ing engagements, from the lethRrgies
that seem to hang the foot when they lift
II, TO the hand when they put II up, to the
words when they speak.
TWO young men in a store. In the
morning the one goes to his post the last
minute, or one minute behind. The other
is ten minutes before the time, and has
his hat and coat hung up, and is at his
post waiting for duty. The one Is ever
and anon in the afternoon looking at his
watch to see II IL is not most time to shut
up. The other stays half an hour after
he might 70, and, when asked why, says
he wanted TO look over some entries he
had made TO be sure he was right, or to
put up some goods that had been left out
OF place. The one is very punctilious
about doing work not exactly belonging
TO him, The other is glad to help the
other clerks in their work. The first VIII
be prolonged nothing, and he will be
poorer at 60 than at 20. The other will be
merchant prince.
lndolence is the cause of more failures
in all occupations than you have ever
suspected. People are too lazy to do what
they can do, and want TO undertake that
which they cannot do. In the drama OF
life they don't want to be a common sol
dier carrying halberd across the stage,
or talconer, or mere attendant, and 80
lounge about the scenes till they shall be
called to be a Macreadv or a Junius Brutus
Rnnfh mo. q laa ratta af
TimOn of Athens rather than that of
Flavious. his steward" "Let me be
Cymbeline, the king, rather than Pisano
the servant" After u while they, by
some accident OF prosperity or circum-
stances, get in the place Tor which they
have no qualification. And very soon, II
the man be a merchant he Is going
around asking his creditors to compro-
mise for ten cents on the dollar.
Or, If a clergyman, he is making
TRADES against the ingratitude of
churches. Or, if an attorney, by unskill-
full management he loses case in which
widows and orphans are robbed of their
portion. Or, if a physician, he by mall
practice gives his patient rapid transit
from this world TO the next, ae the clumsy
sugeOn of Charles H., King of Navarro,
having sewed up the feeble limbs OF the
King in sheet soaked of infammable
thread, took a candle to burn of the
thread, and the bandages took fire and
consumed the King. Our incompetent
friend would have made a splendid horse
doctor, but he wanted TO be professor OF
anatomy IN a university. He
could have sold enough con-
fectionery to have supported his
family, but he wanted to have a sugar
refinery like the Havemeyers. He could
/ hnx I1A aha httk ha Nn1 IN
mend the constitution of the Uni ted
States. Toward the end Of life these peo-
pie are out of patience, out OF money, out
OF friends, out of everything. They go to
the p0OrhOuse or keep out Of it by run
ming in debt to all the grocery and dry
goods stores that will trust them. Peo-
| pie begin to wonder when the curtain
will drop on the scene. After a while,
leaving nothing but their compliments to
pay their doctor, undertaken and Gabriel
| Grubb, the grave digger, they disappear.
EXeuntl Kissed off The stagel
Others fail in the drama OF life through
| demonstrated setishness. They make all
the rivers empty into the sea, all the roads
/ of emOlument end at their door, and they
gather all the plumes OF honor for their
brow. They help no one, encourage no
one, rescue no one. "HOw big pile OF
money can | eetT' Glow much OF the
L
/ tiOns. They feel about the common peo-
| Pile as the Turks felt towards the Asapi,
or common soldiers, considering them OF
no use except to fill up the bitches with
| their dead bodies, while the other troops
walked over them TO take the fort.
After while this prince Of
worldly success is sick. The
only interest society has in his Illness is
the effect that his possible decease may
have on the money markets. After awhile
he dies. Great newspaper capitals an
nounce how be started with nothing and
ended with everything. Although Tor sake
OF appearance some people put bandker-
chief 10 the eye, there Is not one genuine
tear shed between Central park and the
battery, or between Brooklyn Heights and
Brooklyn Hill. The heirs sit up all night
while he lies in state, discussing what
the old fellow has probably done with his
money. It takes all the livery stables
within two miles 20 furnish funeral equip
age, aud all the mourning stores are kept
busy IN selling weeds OF grief. The stone
cutters send in proposals for monument.
The minister at the Obsequies reads Of the
resurrection, which makes the hearers
fear that II the INSCRIPTIONS fnancier
does come up in the general rising he
will try TO get a corner on tOmbstones and
graveyard fences. All good men are glad
LlaL Tue iuDldi uulhdUct Dth Dttl re-
moved. The Wall street spectators are
glad because there is more room for them
selves. The heirs are Glad because they
get possession Of the long delayed Inherit
ance. Dropping every feather u all his
plumes, every certificate Of all his stock,
every bond OF all his investments, every
dollar OF all his fortune, he departs, and
all the rolling Of "Dcad March in saul"
and all the pageantry Of his interment,
and all the exquisiteness Of sarcOpbagus.
and all the extravaganza Of epitaphOlogy
cannot hide the fact that my text has
come again TO tremendous fulhllment:
"Men shall clap their hands at him and
shall hiss MIN out Of the place"
You see the clapping comes before the
hiss. fne world cheers before ~ damns.
So, IL is said, tue deadly asp tickles before
II Atings Going up, Is hep Hurrahl
Stand back and let his galloplng horses
dash by, a whirlwind OF plated harness
ana tlnklinR head gear and afched neck.
Drink deep OF bis Madeira and cOgnac.
Boast Of how we'll you know him. All
hats off "a be passes. Ba-k Tor days and
years in the sunlight Of bis prosperity.
Going down. Is hei Pretend % be near
sighted, 50 that you cannot see him as he
walks past. When men ask you II You
know him, halt and hesitate as though
you were trying 10 call up dim memory,
and say: "Well, yes, yes, j believe i
once did know him, but have not seen
him for long while. j cross differ
ent ferry from the one where you
hfu, loaf "a ahanl1