Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-11-28
Communicated
An Nh Enitor, wlth ComplicaS-
ed Diseases.

ne SENDS IOr uOCJcT Anu uc-
nands thorough examination Of
the external as well as the internal
organs, and insists that the most mi
mute explanation follow.
CAL right, sir, I am ready for 40
ton. Divest yourself of all clothing
that ] may follow in full your re.
quest" This being done, the doc
tor says: "Stand up" After walk
ing around the poor fellow, be gets
in front of him, slightly leaning his
head to the right and trying to dis
perse frown that would not down,
he said: "Is that your natural incli-
nation?" eyes, sir" "Were you
so from birch 7" II s'pose So"
Judging from your extarnel shape
your internal organs must be badly
arranged, and if you are not grabbed
and naturally fussy with everything
and everybody, even the cats and
dogs around your home, it is mys-
terry to me. Turn around. What
caused this blue spot on your back ?
Aheml ahem It looks like the print
Of foot, and by the way, is not this
the stain of printers ink ?" II can't
remember, sir. Maybe / fell down
-Ol now I remember. My last
partner fell on me in the printing
Office, near the press, very heavily"
care you sure you have not been
kicked down! Aheml ahem!l
ahemlll" my worst pain seems to
be in my right side" "How long
has it been therei" "Soon after the
first rink was built it struck me and
: the second one on Martin street
seemed to make it worse" "ShallI
infer that you are superstitious /? Do
you mean to say that the mere busld-
ing Of Kinks affects your health Y'
mo, sir, but their pernicious in
duence shocks my modesty and
rasps my nerves, so that I can
scarcely sleep at night" Haven't
you wrong idea of the influence of
Kinks l see no improperly in them.
It is an amusing and pleasant pas
time, and ii not carried to an excess,
is one of the very best means of ex-
ercise. Had you gone to Kinks in
your youthful days, your nerves
would have been stronger and your
mind brighter. Don't you advertise
for the rinks?" "No, sir" "Why
not ?" "Well, they never offered
me any" "Have they advertised in
any of the other papers ?" "Yes,
sir, and what hate about it is, they
have even advertised in 'Cuffy's' pa
per-" "Who is sCuffy p" II mean
Clifford. A few of us call him 'Cuf-
fy.'" "Why do you do that?" "Be-
cause he won't be ruled by u.s."
"That isn't manly. He is citizen,
and has right to his opinion. Well,
never mind, we'll let Clifford 60.
Then, if the Kinks had given you the
ad. you would have published it,
would you ?" sit would have been
my newspaper duty, you know"
"Why, is it an editors duty to en-
dorse what he does not believe to be
right, for the sake Of money! From
your statement, it is evident that
you are mad at the Kinks because
the proprietors did not give you an
ad. Isntit SO? Aheml heml Do
you 60 out of nights ?" mo, sir"
Haven't been to the Band Fair?"
+" Indeed Ihaven'tl" "What has the
Band done to you Y' Zone thing,
they have never serenaded me-"
"And the way you are acting, they
never will"
II don't care"
40, yes, you do"
~ have had mighty hard time
ever since I've been here" Eyes, I
hail a similar experience when be-
gan my practice, and would have
had to this day, had ! not stopped
being a fool. The fact is, / oppos-
ed all the doctors in town. If you
walk out as far as Hon. j. Nelson
Wisner's every day or so, and have
agood editorial experience it meeting
would do you good, both physically
and mentally. Mr.. Wisner is noble,
good-hearted, jovial-(face fiushes),
what's the matter, have you
pain ?" Gin rage.) "No! Don't call |
old Socrates Webster's name to me-"
81 didn't say Socrates Webster
/ said Mr.. Wisner." "That's |
who | mean" "Don't like Mr..
Mr.. Wisner well, who in the d.
do you like? Go to Captain Col
ston, then" { In mean, low under
tone.) "He don't like me-" "Why,
what have you been doing to him ~
"Nothing only refused to publish
a card, stating that he was candi-
date tor reelection to the school
board" "Why did you do that?"
81 wanted to get manin who would