davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-07-17
.z:SSEks9sls2
How lost. How Restored!

Just Published. new edition ofDr. CuIverwelrs
Celebrated Essay the radical cure " Spermstcr-
rhEa Seminal Weakness Involuntary Seminal Losses.
rmpote,cy Mental and Physical incapacity, Impedi-
Marriage. etc. also. Consumption. Epilepsy
and Fits induced BY self-indngenee. or sexual ex-
travagance. &c
The celebrated author In this admirable essay clearly
demonstrates from thirty years. successful Practice
that the alarming consequences Of Salt Abuse may be
radically cured; pointing out mode Of cure q
simple certain and e1ectua by means Of which every
sufferer. matter ~haf biz condition may be, may
cure himself cheaply. privately and radically.
ng-nIs Lecture should be in the hands % every
youth and avery man in the land.
Sent under SEAL IN plain envelope. 20 any address
on receipt o. four cents, two postage stamps Adj
dress
THE CULvERw WE'LL MEDICAL co..
~ Ann ST., New York, y. r.; Post once Box
bsssmber 1s,h. lsss-iy.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-07-17

0ainbrilgc Township Trus.
tees Notice.
VVHE undersigned, Trustee Of BALM
! bridge township, Dubois county,
will attend 70 Township business on
Saturdays Of every week. at his Office on
North Main street, Jasper, in schulz
building.
The Library Of said Township 10 kept
1t the bookstore Of Mr.. Jacob Gosmann,
where persons wanting books can obtain
them 1t any time.
JAcoB BURGER, Trustee.
June 9th, l6sl-ly.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20
Personal.

DIR. Nathan Gale of Orwell, now in his
S4th year, is still Vigorous and has large
practice, which he attends to as usual.
We notice that the genial Major II. W,
Hall of Burlington has an an addition to
his stock of organs. 1t is OF the female
sex and weighs IL pounds.
Laura Mack, wife of ex-Gov. John l..
Barstow, died at the home of the family,
in Shelburne, on Wednesday of last
week, of consumption. The funeral was
held on Saturday, Gov. Pingree and
members of eX-Gov. Barstow's staff being
present. Mrs. Barstow's health had been
delicate for many years.
In the article on the late Sir Curtis NJ
Lampson, published elsewhere in this is.
sue. 1t is stated that he went out to Lon
don on his own account with boatload
of furs. We believe the truth is that hC
was then in the employ of John Jacol
Aston. 1t is said that the father of the
deceased was a man of some means anC
was the first to bring Spanish Merinc
sheep into this county, but did not sue
coed in doing much with them.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20

The lyceum meeting of7March II was
called to order by the president, Nelson
Kenworthy. The secretary's report of
the last meeting was read and adopted.
The question. "ReSoiced, That the print
ing press has been of more benefit to
mankind than the steam engine" was
discussed in the affirmative by Arthur
Brown and O. f. llurlburt, and in the
negative by Rev. NJ. Patten and II. G.
Powers. The committee on decision
George Fisher, Frank Gilmore and Peter
Murrav-decided two to one in favor of
the affirmative. A collection of 81 cents
was taken up, after which there was a
defamation by Allison ilurlburt. music
by Frank I.aFrancis and Leona Damon,
and a recitation by Mamie Chandler. The
ofiice.s-eect for the next three weeks
are: President, w. 5. Huntley; vice pres
dent, o. +. Hurlburt; secretary. f. Ii.
Matteson; treasurer, George Fisher; ed
tor. Arthur Brown. The paper was read
by Miss Minta Powers. The question for
next week is. "ReSOlUed, That the evil
effects of an improper education are
more to be feared than political dishon-
esty'. The affirmative speakers are o. F.
Hurlburt and Arthur Brown, and the
negative 4. Ii. Matteson and II. G.
Powers
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20

Mr.. CLEVELAND will be younger than
the average of his present cabinet when
he enters upon his second term. and will
still be comparatively young man at
the c,ose of that period BU9dto Times.
This talk of President Cleveand's sec
ond term suggests a Ferrisburgh family,
noted for the expedition with which they
did work, indoors and out. 1t used to be
said of them that they always had tripe
for dinner on ''butchering day" An un-
called-for 'preyiousness' is shown by
those who tell us what our chief magis-
trate will do or be n his second term. If
he makes good president and satisfies
his party, his reelection is possible. The
indications are that the majority of Dem
ocrats will think less of him at the end OF
his first term than they do now.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20
RiptOn.

The school in district No. 2, taught by
Miss Fannie Wood, closed March IL.
The following are the names Of those
having no absent marks Lille Matteson.
Edwin Matteson, Winfield Smith. Perley
Smith. Those having but one absent
mark were Dana Patten, Lille Baker,
Eugene Smith; those having no tardy
marks: Norman Atwood, Allie Baker,
Agnes Billings. Lille MattesOn, Perley
Lee, Loren Baker, Edwin Matteson. Ju-
Illus Goodell, Lille Baker, Perley Smith,
Winfield Smith, John Billings, Charlie
Farmer.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20
FRIDAY. MARCH 70. 1885.
Fast Day Proclamation.

The custom and example OF our ioretathers, in
dedicating a special day Of the year to the pous
service of fasting, humilil y and prayer tn the
Lord, has been beneiiceni in its influences upon
the people of our State and nation, and is wo rthy
OF our pcrpctuatiOn. | do. therefore, designate
and appoint Friday, the third day OF April next,
MS the day of our annual fast, to be observed and
kept AS such 10y the people Of this state
And recommen that on that day all the peO-
pie rest from unnecessary labor Pnd business,
abstain from recreation and amusements, and en-
gage in exercises OF penitenCe and devotion to
God, in our customary places of public worship,
and in deeds and services ui love to Him and TO
our fellow -men. in our communities and homes.
Given under my hand and the State seal, at
Hartford this third day of March, in the year of
our Lord one thousand eight hundred and eighty
five, and OF the American independence the one
hundred and ninth.
SAMUEL L. PINGREE.
BY the Governor,
ALFRED +. WATSON,
Secy of Civil and Military Affairs.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20
BuRLINGroN, w., March /, 1874.

BURLINGTON, VT, March i, 1874.
MEssRs. HIGGINS, GREENE HYDE:
Dear SirS.-For long tin c, (many years.
have been troubled with an affection OF the tnroat
Inflammation, accompanied by an alarming
cough, which at times obliged me to give up my
business, and confined me TO the house tired
any number of prescriptions and almost every
medicine recommended me by my irlends, Dut
could get no particular satisfaction or RELIEF untll
| tried "lIIGGINs' 4. n c. COMPOUND" winch l
am more than pleased 10 say relieved me at once,
and can say without hesitation II Is Inc pesl
cough medicine / have ever tried My friends
testify To its curative properties also, ana can
cheerfuly recommend il to ali suffering with
lung and throat diseases. Respecuullyt
OSCAR PHIPPS,
Conductor Central VT, Il, II.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20
LIBERATION NOTICE.

This is to certify thai this day give my son
Willie Bordway, his time during the remainder
OF his minority | shall claim none OF his wage.
nor pay any debts of his contracting after thi'
date. JAMES BORDWAN.
Weybridge. VT, March IA. lss5. I2wS
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20
EpoRT OF THE CONDITION

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF ORWELL
at Orwell, in the state of Vermont, at the
close Of business, March, 10, 1855.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20

A DIR EADFUL DIsEAsE.-Read. ponder and
profit thereby. kemp- Balsam for the Throat
and Lungs il conceded by all who have used it
to excel any preparation IN the market as u CON-
plete Throat and Lung Healer. All persons
afflicted with that dreadful disease-Consumptio
will find speedy relief and IN majority OF cases
permanent cure. The proprietor has author
lied l.. HanaiOrd to refund the money to any
party who has taken three-fourths of bottle
without reie<. Price 50cents and 81 Trial size
free.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20

There will be sale of personal property be
onging to the estate Of REUBEN COOK, AT his
ate residence in
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20
BETTER THAN ANY IN TIE MARKET.

NORWICH, W., Dec. 4, 1854
Gents,-I used BOwker's Hill and Drill Phos.
phate the past season on corn, potatoes, beans
and India wheat, aud found ii perfectly satisiac-
tory IN every case. l consider il better than any
other fertilizer on the market.
MARTIN S. WALLACE.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20

RESOURCES:
Loans and discounts, $2j9,937 80
Overdrafts, 3s0S Al
U. s. Bonds to secure crculation,4 Ter
cent 100000 90
Other stocks bonds and mortgages, II, 745 -
Due from approved reserve agents, 2sOOl 81
Due from other National banks 5}o 60
Due from State banks and bankers, 1l,OlS ga
Real estate, furniture and fixtures, 5000 90
Current expenses aud taxes paid, ,45j Us
Checks and other cash items, 3i9 %
Bills of other banks, l,lsl 20
and pennies 2ls 30
Specie, 800 50
Legal tender notes, 1000 90
Redemption fund with U. S.Treasurer %
per cent. OF circulaton) $500 %
Total S435353 50
Capital stock paid in, 100000 90
surplus fund, lOu,OOO 10
| UuIvided profits, Ii 59l 81
National bank notes outstanding, $4,000 %
| Dividends unpaid, % OOO
Individual deposits subject to check, Si,Gs6 81
| Demand certificates Of deposit, 20Ol2 p
| Due to other National banks, 1897 IS
| Notes and bills re-discounted $500 20
Total, $4;s3j3 SO
| STATE OF VERMONT, I |, G.. E. Bush, Cashier
County OF Addison, IS. of the abpve-namcd
| bank, do solemnly swear that the above state
ment is true 10 the best Of my knowledge and
| belief c. e. BUSH, Cashier
subscribed and sworn to before inc this l4th
day OF March, lSS5.
}. ). WILCOX, Notary Public
COrrect-Attest.
a. N'I nAMMoND, Directors.
CYRUS JENN1NGS)
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10
Dazed by Ballroom Dressing.

He was a western Senator, not used
to fashionable ways, and was guest
at Washington ball. Entering a
brilliantly illuminated suite, he sud-
denly stopped, backed toward the
door, and in Mortified tones exclaim-
ed:
"My stars! I've made a mistake" Z"
"My dear Senator Blank" said his
hostess, hurrying towards him, "what
is the matter? You look ILL.,"
"Oh, nothing, nothing, only / am
such dolt. l came very near enter
ing this apartment by mistake. Please
pardon me, and show me the way to
the ballroom"
"Why, senator, this is the ball
room. What did you think it was"
"The-the ladies dressing room"
murmured the Senator, mopping the
perspiration from his brow.-Boston
Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10
He Had Seen Both Kinds.

He had an idea, but it was too
heavy for him to carry around, so he
entered the santum of the funny man
and inquired
"By the way, did you ever notice
how polite tree is p
"No," answered the funny man, 81
don't remember ever having had the
experience" !"
"Well, I'm surprised. Didn't you
ever see tree bough p
eyes," responded the f. m, "and /
have often seen tree leave" Then
he unclaimed the dog.-Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10
No Good.

In quiet way Michigander re-
siding in still more quiet village has
for couple of years been boring for
oil. He has drilled at times and
rested at times, according to the state
of his finances. A few days ago, as
he was going home from Saginaw, he
met Yorker Oh the train, and after
while related his experience and
hopes and fears. AS the Gothamite
was to pass the night in the village,
it was agreed that he should bull the
well by making active inquiries and
seeming deeply interested.
AS good as his promise. the Yorker
hadn't been in town an hour when the
story was out that he had come to
buy the well--sure of oil-big thing
millions in it. In the evening the
owner came around and was asked
what effect the conspiracy had.
"No good-no good" he replied,
with a sad shake of his head. "When
we put up that job I'd forgotten that
the assets of this town footed up only
$26 in cash, dozen COW skins, and a
pacing pony, and that nobody could
raise enough to even pay for my drills.
They've offered to trade me the town
for the well, but couldn't think of
it. Much obliged, stranger, but it's
thowing away the voice of the bull"
Wall Street News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10
Bringing the Case to a Focus.

Blowser and Brimble are two quar-
relsome neighbors of Virginia City,
New. The other day Blowser called
Brimble, who is rather thin, "desicat-
ed coyote" Brimble made minute of
the statement, and then went to a
lawyer to see if he could not have
Blowser arrested for libel. The dis
ciple of Blackstone, Coke and "Auld
Clootie" ran his legal eye over the
old parchment cover of Brimble's
"soul case" and shook his head. 81
fear" said he with sigh, chat it is
not actionable."
"No?" said Brimble. "What then,
can | do with Blowser?"
Nothing, as matters stand but
we may manage to bring things to a
focus in some way that will give us
hold on the fellow. You 60 back to
him and call him posthumous pum-
pernickle. Try that to begin with !;
then, if necessary, we may advance
to something stronger and still not
render ourselves liable"
"Call him 'posthumous pumper-
nickel" shall ~"
eyes; l think we'll start out on
that, and if it does not bring him to
q focus actionable we will then pro-
ceed to brand him as 'stultus selma
dahupff' or a 'gutta percha gans-
bauch."
"Well, as to the 'posthumous pum-
pernickle,' shall l say it to his face 7"
"To his teeth-throw into his very
teeth !"
An hour later Brimble came back
to his legal adviser with watch fob
cut over his left eye, two front teeth
knocked out, and his upper lip pulled
out beyond the end of his nose.
"Ah!" cried the wielder of legal
thunderbolts, rubbing his hands with
satisfaction as he gazed upon the
dilapidated visage of his client. "Ah!
1 already see the first fruits of our
little stratagem. Now we begin to
stand on solid ground. We may now
open our guns upon Blowser on a
charge of assault and battery. I'll
get him fined $40 and shall not charge
you over $40 to $25 to carry the whole
business through"
"But good Lord must pay $40 and
then only get him fined $1O?"
81 must acknowledge, my dear fell
low, that such is the situation as the
case now stands; but you may 60
back-now while he is hot and reck-
less-and call him a gutta percha gans-
bauch, and the result will probably
justify us in bringing charge of as
sault with intent to murder"
NO." sadly said Brimble, Il guess
I'll not proceed beyond the 'posthu-
nous pumpernickel' to-day. l feel
like taking a rest before commencing
the 'gansbauch' business. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10
The Cowboy in the Sleeper.

"Whcre do camps" he inquired,
and was shown the lower berth next
to me. "Thats my pigeon-hole, is
it? All right, old son, just watch my
motion while file myself away"
AS he prepared to retire he was de-
sired to turn over his revolver to the
porter, which he declined to do in a
spirited manner.
cold Dad (his revolver) and me
always sleeps together, and we don't
want no divorce" he explained.
The conductor demonstrated, but was
advised not to try to "braid this mules
tail"
"This here's sleeping car, amt
it?" he at length inquired.
"Yes."
"Well, why don't you let people
sleep then when they've paid and
gone into your game? If you're
aiming to keep people awake and
want company, just dance into the
next car; there's lots of folks there
don't want to sleep, nohow, and they
will be glad to see you"
The conductor withdrew and my
friend pulled off his boots and stretch
ed himself, with many comments in
an undertone on the poverty of the
surroundings.
In about ten minutes this erratic
person had his head out in the aisle.
"Say, you boyP' to the porter.
"Well, sab ?"
"Come a-runnin'."
The porter drew near and was
handed a pillow about as big as a
pin-cushion.
Take that gooseha'r thing away"
commanded the cowboy.
"Don't you want pillow, sab ?"
asked the porter.
"That amt no pillow, and / don't
want it nohow; I'm afraid it'll get in
my ear"
After this, silence, and for short
time I slept l reused up, however,
at an exclamation on the part Of my
neighbor.
Hold on there, my son, jist drap
them boots"
81 was only jest gwine to black en-
boss"
"Drap EN-"
They drapped.
"Jest gwine to pull them spurs, /
reckon. Now, don't monkey around
my camp. taking things no more.
If you want anything speak for ii.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

The minister stood up in the pull
pit, gray haired and with solemn
countenance, endeavoring to impress
upon the minds of his congregation
their utter helplessness when they at
tempted to battle against the DEGREES
of God. what can you dol" he
shouted, in rich, sonorous voice that
rang in the church as clearly as the
note from a bugle. "The Dutch roll"
answered doing sister on the front
seat. She was roller-skater.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10
Her Late Husband.

A gentleman came home in the
"wee sma' hours ayont the twal," at
the South End recently, and was sur
prised to find his wife clad in black.
"Why are you wearing these mourn
ing garments?" he said, somewhat
unsteadily.
"For my late husband" was the
significant reply.
He has been in the house at 10
ever since.-Boston Budget.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

81 wouldn't worry about the chol-
era, DEAR" said wife to her husband,
"it isn't at all likely that it will reach
this country" II don't know about
that" he replied, nervously, "it
might break out any moment, and we
might have frightful time. IL
think / had better pay the back pew
rent, anyway."-Indianopolis Jour.
nal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10
Hit the Wrong Man.

Too busy housewife.-"You know
that cake / made for the dear boys
and sent away Saturday? 1t has
never arrived. l wonder what's the
reason 7"
Much worried domestic.-"There
was postman took to the hospital in
great agony Monday. shouldn't be
surprised if he knows. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

"Why do the wicked live?" is a
recent clerical inquiry. One portion
of them live probably to edit the
Chicago newspapers and large por-
tion of the remainder probably exist
for the purpose of reading them
New York Graphic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

The composer of "Put Me in My
Little Bed" announces that he got
$40 for writing that interesting lyric
and hints that it was not enough. 1t
was not; he ought to have got ten
years.-Philadelphia Record.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

"Did you ever notice how woman
takes cork out of bottle ?" asks
an exchange. No, sir; we let the
woman notice how we take the cork
out of a bottle. No gentleman will
stand idly by and let woman strug-
gle to get cork out of bottle. 1t
takes her too long.-St. Paul Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

"Ma," said little Tommy, "do the
Injins own the railroads ?" "No, my
son. "Well, they've got somethin'
to do with them, cos pa says he
bought his ticket off a scalper."-
st. Paul Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

An Austin boy came from school
very much excited, and told his father
that all human beings were descend
ed from the apes, which made the old
man so mad that he replied angrily :
"That may the case with you, but it
amt with me, l can tell you that
now, my son" Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

johnny, it would be good thing
for you to remember in life that we
never get anything in this world if
we don't ask for it." eyes, we do,
pa answered Johnny, promptly, 81
got licking in school to-day, and
you bet I didn't ask for it."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

"What do l want German stu
dent lamp for?" asked old Blimber,
when the dealer tried to sell him a
lamp. 81 don't know nothing about
the German language. / shouldn't
learn to read by it in a thousand
years. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10
IICH., WEDNESDAY,, JUNE 10, 1885.

If you can't speak make signs, and if
you can't make signs shake a bush.
You h'ar me ?"
"Yes, sah."
After this, silence. The wheels
and rails again sang together and the
car again kept approving time, and
presently l slept without interruption.
Denver News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

Eyes, it may be angel cake said
Jones, who had been persuaded by
his best girl to test her culinary abil-
tiles, "but for the last two nights
since l tasted it I've seen more little
devils, hobgoblins, snakes, wildcats
and spooks than would crowd a
seven story pandemonium." st. Paul
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

"rhe red men are often vegetarians
even when they eat meat"
81 don't see your drift exactly"
"Wcll, stupid, doesn't the hump of
a bison often make an Indian meal ?"
Boston Budget.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

One of the essays at the Sunday
school convention in Lynn is to be on
"Absentees, and How to Reach
Them" 1t seems to us the best way
would be to 60 down where they are
fishing.-Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

A terrible tale: Horse dealer Cat
a fair).-"How much for your bit Of
a horse!" Countryman.-"Bit of a
horse. Whoy, isn't he all here p
Dealer.-"No; he's lost part of his
tail" Exit in a hurry.-English
paper.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

"Is land high in Vermont ?" asked
a speculator of an old Green Noun
tain farmer. "You just bet it is, !"
was the reply. "If the trees wasn't
so stunted the clouds couldn't get by
at all l."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

"The man who rules himself" says
an old proverb, sis king" And it
might have added-and the man who
tries to rule woman will also find
himself aching.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

The difference between play-bill
and landlord is, one is often stuck
on a bill board and the other on a
board bill.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-10

Soggy pie is mentioned as one of
the causes of dyspepsia. One of the
causes of soggy pie is young married
women.-Louisville Courier-Journal.