davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
NOSES.
An Alleged Invention and Some of Its
Weak Points.

|
An Alleged Invention and Some of Its
| Weak Points
Some one has invented process for
| the reduction of large noses. The in
ventor was struck by the alleged fact
| that noses on which spectacles are
worn are, as rule, small noses He
thereupon formulated the theory that
| the pressure of the spectacles on the
bridge of the nose interteres with the
free circulation of blood, and that this
interference deprives the nose of nour-
ishment and prevents its growth. In
accordance with this theory he now
proposes to reduce the size of any CIV
en- nose by placing metallic clamp on
the bridge. This clamp, if worn every
night, will, as he believes, reduce the
largest nose to moderate proportions
within reasonable length of time.
There are two or three weak points
about this alleged invention. One of
these is that the theory on which it is
founded has no support in fact.
Some of our most eminent noses are
those on which spectacles have
been worn for lifetime, and
| among our smallest noses are some on
which spectacles have never rested
That spectacleS of one sort and another
are worn much more generally now
than they We're fifty years ago, and
that noses as general thing have
grown smaller during the same period,
is undoubtedly true, but it does not
follow that there is any connection be-
tween the two facts.
The gradual decline of the human
nose is the result of the introduction
and general use of handkerchiefs- The
Romans never used handkerchiefs, and
their noses, as we all know, were of
the largest and finest type, Moreover,
they we've less liable to colds in the
head than are people of the present
time. and their noses enjoyed almost a
sineeure. As civilization spread north
ward from Italy the inhabitants of the
cold and variable climate of Northern
Europe found that their noses were
constantly called into activity, and as
a consequence the average European
nose fell below the Roman standard.
Within modern times the handkerchief
was invented, and a new and potent
factor in the reduction of noses thus
came into existence. Constant friction
will wear away the hardest stone, much
more the soft and cartilaginous nose.
Under the friction of handkerchiefs the
noses of the present century have
steadily diminished, until small noses
are worn almost as much as spectacles.
1t is question whether it is desira-
BILE ever to reduce the size of nose.
Greatness of intellect has in all ages !
been closely allied TO greatness of nose,
and the man who, having been gifted
by nature with a nose of true nobility,
should desire to dwarf it and his intel
lect at the same time, would deservs
no assistance in his foolish purpose =
n Z Times
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
AN INCIDENT.
The Sting Which Was Hidden by Polished
Exterior-Two Women's Ways.

The Sting Which Was Hidden by Polished
Exterior-Two Women's Ways.
''How do you do. my dear?" Here
they kissed effusively. II am so glad to
see your Here they kissed again. n
haven't seen you for such an age"
Here they shook hands warmly
''Where have you been so long, Ihad
about made up nv mind you were never
coming here. How is dear little Rebus?
Oh, see you have brought him with
you. Isn't that nice?' Here Mrs.
Gimlette led her guest to a chair by the
window, where she could see her clothes
in strong light. and gracefully sank
upon sofa in the shade.
Eyes. DEAR" replied Mrs. Jones.
with a little cultured sigh: Il thought
1 should never get here. You live in
such an out-of-the-way street. 1t really
is quite journey. 1 should have been
here before, though; but Mrs. Brown
told me only the other day thai
your girl had left, and you were
doing your own work. and L knew
you must be too tired to receive call
ers."
''Oh! did Mrs. Brown say that?' re-
kind of information / should expect
from her. You know l didn't invite
her to nay last reception. What a love-
" dress! didn't think you could ever
have made 1t over so well. 1t does pay
to buy good material, doesn't it, my
dear? By-the-way. how is little Rebus
the poor little dear9"
''Oh. he has been quite poorly. He
had such a dreadful shock last week.
i got in car with him in my arms, and
what do YOU think the brute of q con-
ductor did? He told me / couldn't
have my dear little Rebus in his dirty
old car. protested that the poor little
fellow was doing no harm.
".Harm or not, madam said the
brute; 4 have my orders, and my or
,ders is to allow no dorgs in this car
and he rang the bell, and the car
stopped.
"'Now. madam he said, as he
reached for dear little Rebus, i shall
have to put this dorg off,
".You wouldn't be brute enough to
do that l said, for l was indignant
clear through. why, he hasn't his
blanket on. and he will surely catch his
death of cold.
'.But was forced to get off. 1 shall
have him discharged, though. And.
do you know. right on the other side of
the car there sat miserable dirty
washer-woman, with little red-face |,
common baby in her lap, and they made
me take my sweet little Rubus off the
car"
1T was a shame. replied Mrs. Gin |
lette. alphabetically: Il didn't see
You and Mrs. Simpson at the ball |
wednesday"
NO. poor little Rubus was threat
ened with lung fever, and l had to
stay at home TO nurse him. But Fred
went"
I'm so sorry you couldn't go. You
would have enjoyed it so much. Mrs.
Simpson had all her wedding-silver out.
Do you know tn nix it is only plated ?
The papers sa the morning after the
wedding that it cost ten thousand dol |
lars; but tn nix twas bought on Broad
way for two hundred ami fifty dollars;
~ y exsctly like ct saw there"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

William Cunningham was a brutal
Provost Marshal of the British army in
America, in the war of independence.
He was executed in England for for
gerry, August 10, 1871. He starved,
prosecuted and murdered American
prisoners in the city of New York. OF
such captives under his care nearly
1000 were starved to death (whose ra-
tons he sold), and more than $50 were
privately hung, without trial. to crafty
his brutal appetite.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

"A recent traveller gives the follow
ing as some of the rules for living held
by the modern Dervishes, which some
what upsets the popular idea of Der
wish: BE kind to those below you in
life; do not criticise the faults of
others; if you see them, conceal them;
if you can not do this with your hand,
do so with your skirts, your tongue and
your heart. A day will come when
nothing will benefit you; neither fam
ily nor wealth; nothing except submis-
sion to God with pure heart
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

-Milsap (Tex.) Times: The publish
ers the last week have had to do their
own cooking and washing, besides
carrying fuel from the woods and
getting out the press. The editor of
this paper is affected with rheumatism
at intervals that is sometimes very pain
full, and he requests his friends to not
hustle him about so roughly when they
become a little frolicsome
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

DIR. PIERcE's Compound Extract of
Smart Weed combines French Brandy, ia
maica Ginger, Smart eed and Camphor
Water, the best possible agents for the cure
of diarrhea, cholera morbus, dysentery or
bloody fiux and collie, Or to break up colds,
fevers and infammatory attacks.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
A New WAY to Paw Old Debts.

Shakespeare tells how this can be accom-
plished in one of his immortal plays; but
debts to nature must be paid on demand
unless days of grace be obtained through
the use of DIR. Pierce's "Golden Medical
Discovery" 1t is not s. cure all, !" but in
valuable for sore throat, bronchitis, asthma,
catarrh, consumption, and all diseases of
scrofula or H6ad blood Scrofuious ulcers.
swellings and tumors are cured by it's won
derful Alternative action. By druggists.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
Thousands Upon Thousands:!:

OF testimonials of the most wonderful cures,
voluntarily sent us, we do not publish them,
as they do not make the cures It is our
medicine, Hop Bitters, that make the cures.
1t has never failed and never can We will
give reference to any one for any disease
similar to their own if desired. or will refer
to any neighbor, as there is not neighbor.
hood in the known world but can show its
cures by Hop BitterS.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
A Losing Joke.

"a prominent physician of Pittsburgh said
to a lady patient who was complaining of her
continued ill-health, and of his Inability to
cure her, jokingly said: TRY Hop Bttersi"
The lady took it in earnest and used the Bit
tiers. from which she obtained permanent
health. She now laughed at the doctor for
his joke, but he is not so well pleased with it,
las it cost him good patient.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

MISS FLORENCE ABBOTT, 933 Massachu-
sets Ave, Washington, d. c., writes: II
have suffered long from an asthmatic cough
and painful paroxysms. The Red Star
Cough Cure gave me wonderful relief.
have not been troubled with paroxysms
since,n
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
Fees of Doctors.

The fees of doctors at $500 visit would
tax man for year, and in need of a daily
visit, over $1,000 year for medical attend
ance alone! And one single bottle of, Hop
Bitters taken in time would save the $1,000
and all the years sickness.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
Thousands fastened to Their
Graves.

By relying on testimonials written in vivid
glowing language of some miraculous cures
made by some largely pulled up doctor or
patent medicine has FASTENED thousands to
their graves; the readers having almost in
sane faith that the same miracle will be per-
formed on them, that these testimonials
mention, while the so-called medicine is all
the time fastening them to their graves.
Although we have
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
Given Up by the Doctors.

SIS it possible that Mr.. Godfrey is up and
at work, and cured by SO simple 1emedy?'
81 assure you it is true that he is entire
ly cured, and with nothing but Hop Bitters,
and only ten days ago his doctors gave him
up and said he must die, from Kidney and
Liver troubie!'
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

A wealthy Canandaigua lady has
fitted out a reading-room for the young
men of the village free of charge. The
lady bears all the expenses, and only
requires good order and proper con-
duct from those who frequent the
place. -NeWdrE IN " Courier
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

An offer of 800 has been refused
by citizen of Thomas County, Ga, for
a maidstone which he found in Mont
gomery County while on a visit there
recently. 1t is egg-shaped and about
half the size of hens egg.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

Cholera is produced, say our best
American authorities. by distinct
poison or germ, which infects clothing,
food and water. Without this germ
cholera can not develop. f does not
develop spontaneously in any country
except the delta Of the Ganges,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

IT has never yet been clearly settled
whether to crack joke impairs its value.
Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

SUDDEN CHANGES OF WEATHER are pro-
ductive of Throat Diseases, Coughs, Colds,
etc. Efectual relief is found in the use OF
BRowN's BRONCHIAL TRoCHEs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
PAENS, IT,: !; y ,:s. sss s s:

Healthy Men and Healthy Women.
Life is one constant battle against
that dread monster, Disease.
Many succumb prematurely to this
vicious assailant. whose eternal
object is to tear down. wear out and
destroy. A want of energy. want
of stamina, want of repellant act
ivety on the part of thoughtless in
diyiduals causes many to become,
easy and apparently willing prey
to this ruin and devastation OF
mankind. A remedy composed of
proper herbs and roots that will
build up, repair and strengthen the
weak portions of the human system,
should assidiously be taken at the
approach of disease. Don't wait for
him to obtain a foot-hold, dom wait
until he becomes your master. Meet
his attack at once and promptly.
Do you desire to know remedy on
which you can place safe reliance in
such times of emergency. Then re-
member that DIR. GGysOTT'S YELLOW
DOCK AND SARSAPARiLLA will prove
the true friend in need. 1t is
the safest assistant of nature In
repelling disease, always acting in har-
mony with the entire human 0rganlza'
ton and bodily functions. 1t strength
ems the weak portions, it regulates the
bowels and kidneys, it oils up, as it
were, the machinery of life, and cures
when all other remedies have failed,
such diseases as IMPURE BLOOD, Poor
DIGESTION, WEAK KIDNEYS, SORES,
ACHES, RHEuMATIsM, ETC. 1t quickly
checks decay of the bowels and kidneys,
and gives the sufferer from debility and
wasting diseases new lease of life.
Don't let your druggist persuade
you to use remedy of some other name.
Insist on having Or. CuysottS yell
low Dock and Sarsaparitla, and
take no substitute.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

Plies TOoTHACHE DROPS cure in minute, Csc.
Glenns Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. 25c.
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills CornS s Bunions.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

ONE thing the dude always puts his
whole soul into-his toothpick shoe.-N. Y
.S3yn
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

IT was tender-hearted young lady who
refused to strike an octave.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

Don't Wear Cumbersome Trusses
when our new method without use of knife
is guaranteed topermanently cure the worst
case of rupture. Send two letter stamps
for references and pamphlet. Worlds
Dispensary Medical Assn, Buffalo, N. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

THE greatest mash on record-Truth
crushed to earthly. 7. Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

THK marriage write-The certifcate.-
Boston Budget.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

Tho hair of a mad dog is said to be
an excellent antidote for hydrophobis.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

IT takes sharp man to get through dull
times.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
What is Catarrh?

Wnat is Catdrrng
1t is a disease Of the
mucus membrane,gen-
orally originating In
the nasal passages and
maintaining its strong
hold in the head. From
this point 1t sends forth
a poisonous virus along
the membranous lin
fngs and through the
digestive organs, cor
rupting the blood and
producing other troub-
lesome and dangerous
symptoms.
Cream Balm is q
remedy based upon q
correct diagnosis Of
this disease and can be
depended upon. so cts.
at druggists: 60 cts. by
e by mail 10 cts. ELY
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
MINSTREL S0NGS---OLD & new.

The large sales show this to be a perfect sue
cess, and no wonder! No brighter or more
musical melodies were ever brought together
san th and IT 1he
the World sings them! Accomplishments for
Piano or Organ. 81 plain, $3.50 cloth
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26
FRESH FLOWERS.

FRESH FLOWERS is the title of a most beau
tiful and attractive little Song Book for the
younger children in Sunday Schools, or the
so-cailed INFANT CLASS. MRS. EMMA PITT,
the compiler, is widely known and celebrated
for Songs and Hymns for children, whom she
thoroughly understands. More than 80 bright
songs, such as Little Lambs y Snowtiakes,
Nothing babyish. All in good taste. An
abundance of Pictures rs cents. $40 per
dnzan
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-26

go None genuine without a bunch of green
Hops on the white label. Shun all the vile, pois-
onous stuff with tHop" or Hops"in their narnc.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
New YORK; stock Ararket.


New York, August 6.-Wall Street
Stocks opened dull and unchanged for
grangers and Vanderbilts, and "a to Il
lower for other stocks. Almost i'm
mediately after the opening there was
decline of a to Il in Vanderbilt, Mis-
souri, Pacific, Northwestern and Lacka-
wanna, which, however, was soon
checked, and the whole list moved
slowly upwards. There was some i'm
provement in business late in the hour,
aud at II o'clock the market was fairly
active and strong.
New York, August 6. = Stocks
continued active and strong after II
o'clock, led by Western Union and st.
Paul. the former of which rose "A. Other
advances were for small fractions. Be
fore midday the market became more
active, and prices yielded a small frac-
ton. At noon the market was quiet
and steady, at quotations generally a
little above the opening.
New YORK, August 6.-3 p.m.-Dur-
ing the last hour stocks very dull and
firm until close, when it yielded small
fraction. The market was dull and in
clined to be heavy at the close.
New YORK, August 6.-Governments
dull, steady.
To. days stock market has been only
moderately active and irregular. In
some cases the lowest prices were at or
near The opening and the highest late
in the day, while in others the rule was
almost directly reversed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
Chicago Grain Trade.

CHICAGO, August 6.
Wheat-Ruled very dull and closed
about same as yesterday; S7l cash !;
S97z@89Z September; 90 October.
Corn-Strong, higher; AZ cash August
and September; 451S October.
Oats-Firm; 2611 cash August; 255s
September; 25X October
Whisky-1.15.
AFTERNOON.
Wheat = Quiet, easy; S7SS August;
S9sz September; 80 October.
Steady, firmer, closing Il to q
over yesterday; Al August and Septem-
Der; 46 October.
0ats-Quiet, n to Il better; 261l Au-
gust; 2513 September; 255s October.
Rye-Steady, unchanged.
Barley-Steady, unchanged
Pork-Firm, 15 to 20 higher; $50 Au-
gust; 9.421S September; $50 October.
Lard-Steady, closing to N oyer
Yesterday; $50 August; 6.35 Septem-
Der; $40 October.
Boxed Meats-Steady; dry sailed
shoulders, 3.75@425; short rib sides,
5.45 a 5.47K; short clear sides, $50
@5.S5.
Whisky-steady, 1.15.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
Chicago Live stock.
CHICAGO. August 6.

CHICAGO. August 6.
Cattle-Receipts, 1900; steady; ship
ping steers, Abs, $50 a $50; stockers
and feeders, 2.70@4.10: cows, bulls and
mixed, 200 a 40; bulk, .0O@ $780,
Through Texas cattle firmer, $50 to ], $50
pounds, 3.50@4.10; $50 to 900 pounds,
30O@3.75; 600 to 700 pounds, 290@3.40;
rangers firm, natives and half-breeds,
4.00@5 25. Sales, 255 Montana, 1,25S
pounds, 4.65; 1S2 Washington Territory,
1,277 pounds, 5.25-
Hogs-Receipts $4,000; active, shade
lower; rough and mixed, $3.50
AIS; packing ana shipping, 4.15@4.55;
light, 4.40@4.S5; skips, 3.00@4.12%.
Sheep-Receipts 1000; steady, ma
tives, 2.00@4.25; Texans, I.75@3.75.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
Heart Pains.

Palpitation, Dropsical Swellings. Dir
Mness, Indigestion, Headache, Sleep
lessness cured by .'WeIls' Health Re
uSwer.' flest irN aaa
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
New YORK money Market.
Bullion.

New YORK, August 6. = Bar silver,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
Riotous Miners.

LONDON, August Coal and iron
miners of Ilkeston in Derbyshire have
been rioting all day. They have already
caused great damage to property in the
parish. In one of their battles against
the police this afternoon the rioters
were driven back several miles from
town, contesting every foot of the way.
During this engagement, great numbers
of miners were disabled and injured and
nine of them dangerously wounded.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
New York Mining Market.

New YORK. August 6.-The Nail and
Express says: The demand for mining
stocks continues very small. Sales in
cluded Bulwer at As, Sutro Tunnel at
II and Meulton at LAO.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
western stock Market.
San Francisco. August 6.
Foreign Markets.

LoSpoN. August 5.-l2. 30 p.m.-Con-
soils opened at 995S for both money and
o count.
closed 81 1916.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-07
British Grain Trade. 6
LIVERPOOL, August 6.
Wheat-Quiet, steady.
Confirm, fair demand.
.Rough on Corns., u

Ask for Wells Rough on Corns."
l5c. Quick complete cure. Hard or soft
corns. warts. bunions-
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-05-08
EVOLUTION.

In the near future Rev, DIR. Wood
row. late Of the Presbyterian Theologi-
cal Seminary Of Columbis, South Car
olina, is to be tried in the church for
his supposed heresy on the subject Of
evolution-of mans decent from the
monkey. His views are not moro ad-
yanced than many churchmen, but his
position as = teacher attracted particu-
lar attention to his views on that sub
jsct, and led to his being aske to re-
sign. Whether he will be convicted OF
heresy or not, the question of Darwin.
ism will be left unsettled and made to
await the further Developments of sci
suce.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1885-05-08
POTATO YIELD.

Prof. J. w. Sanborn, OF the Miss
ouri State Agricultural College, has
recently Issued Bulletin No. II, In
which he gives the results OF tests
covering Dine years, and conducted
upon three farms, for determining the
comparative value Of several methods
of planting potatoes. The average
returns for seven years from meas
ured ground and weighed potatoes,
the product of two farms, and 10
agreement with unrecorded results on
third, are summarized below, with
their value per acre, at so cents per
bushel