The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-01
HOrsel.adish.

This is awful strong horser adish,"
exclaimed the young man with u tear
in his eye, across the table.
Wenev hear u remark of this kind
that does not carry us away back to
the days when, a guileless youth, we
sat with the largest appetite at the
table aud was awarded the narrowest
piece of pie. Somehow n sentiment
has always prevailed with old folks
that pie is pretty hearty for boys to
eat, ;" and they GU hit, perhaps, to re-
proach themselves for allowing "the
children" to have any at all. If pa
rents could follow their poor fragile
bows, and see them start for the bakers
as soon as they have realized on an old
copper boiler, or a hunk OF lead pipe,
and notice them down mince pie
with perfect abandon; if they could
see Them heave a dozen cakes in on
top of this pie, and then 90 home and
paralvze square meal without finch
ing or giving themselves away, then
parents would ease their minds on tho
question of boys stomachs not being
especially adapted to the accommoda-
ton of pie--mincc pie, at that.
But we wander from the text. 1t
was during the quarterly meeting, and
the Rev. Mr.. Brooks, an old friend of
our fathers was seated at our board.
The holy gentleman was from small
place several miles away, and was
making his quarters at our house while
the meeting lasted. We were deeply
impressed by the fervor and spirit he
threw into bis blessing" and his eat
ing.
Mother had just grated horseradish
previous to dinner, and she put it in a
saucer and placed it, rs 1t happened,
near the end of the table where the
good man sat. He struck up on the
subject of religion at his first opportu-
nifty, and soon warmed to his work.
Victuals did not seem to interfere
with his linguistic power in the least.
A mouthful of meat or potato was no
impeachment in his speech, for he ex-
pressed views on the Bible, endless
damnation and the wrath of God, in
sing-song voice through his nose.
In the midst of picture he was
painting with the utmost enthusiasm,
in which the sinner was being con-
signed to the bottomless pit, where
the eternal bile of fire were rolling
and seething, and yawning to engulf
the wicked unbeliever, he cast his eye
on mothers saucer of radish. In his
excitement, he mistook it for an in
dividual dish of custard, placed there
for his benefit. He plunged his spoon
into it and landed heapipg load in
his mouth He was just preparing to
give the sinner the final hoist into the
terrible sea, but he never heaved that
sinner.
The good man suddenly paused. as
he had worked his victim up to the
brink. He shut his lips tight. A tear
glistened in his eye, and coursed down
his cheek. He arose to his feet and
raised leg till his knee touched his
elbow. He rubbed the bald spot on
his head, beat the air frantiaally with
his hand. and then let out a howl that
scared the children half to death.
Father saw what it was that caused the
holy gentleman to let up on the sinner
so suddenly and wander from the sub
ject, and he siezed the pitcher and
poured a pint of water down his
smarting throat.
The Rev Mr.. Brooks never dlned
at our house again, and unjustly he
seemed to have taken offence at poor,
innocent mother. For the benefit of
the anxious reader, we will remark
that ''ma" lived right on, all the
same.-.Aurora Blade.