Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-07-17
NO CHANCE ron AN AIrnr.

NO CHANCE FOR AN ALTBT.
IF you are innocent, said lawyer to
his client, an old daEky, who was
charged with stealing q ham, tive ought
/ to be able to prove an aIibi.n
Il dom spects we kim" the darky
replied doubtfully.
AT what time was the ham stolen ~
Bout lebben o'clock dey say"
'sWell where were you between IL
] o'clock and midnight; in bed %
mo, sab; was hidin' de ham. n-Nsao
/ York San.
GREAT CHANGE.
De Twirliger-Have you seen Jones
since he was married
Ponsonby-No; why7
De Twirliger-He is changed from the
/ dude he was.
POnsOnby- sub-dude now, I suppose.
IT ALL ENDED IN SMOKE.
'You amt q gwine to give ten cents
for that seegyar, are you :"
Believe / will, Sally" he said.
s'Jest to burn up 7" said she.
''That's what it's made for, Sally"
said he.
s'Well, don't know, " said she; 'I'd
look at q dime a long time before I'd
give it for that thing to burn straight
up. III was gwine to be fool I'd be a
fool some other way" On an Arkansas
Railroad.
A QUESTION FOR CAsuIsTs.
An old darby was preaching some time
since and he saw one in his congregation
asleep, so he began; "You remember
when Paul was preaching in de temple q
and she fell down smashed all ter
smashes, and the fragments they picked
up twelve basketsful, and whose wife
will she be in the resurrection 9"-Hoosdc
Valley NosOs.
THE HONEST GAMBLER.
/ suppose the story is old as the hills,
but it is just as funny to-day as it was
years ago when it happened on the Mis-
sissippi boat, the days of gambling at
It's height An old poker sharp had
stuffed four aces gracefully into his boot
for an emergency. Another expert
twigged the movement and equally grace
fully removed them for his own use.
The moment arrived and the poker
sharp dived down into the leather recess
ses. The cards were gone.
Hold on, said he, raising his handt o
stop the game There's been cheating
here w-San Francisco Chronicle.
NOT HIS OBJECT.
There was an empty box in front of
house In Catherine street the other day,
and parcel boy stopped and picked up
club and began to beat on the box.
The noise soon reused a resident, who
leaned over his gate and inquired:
Boy, vhas dot you ~
stOf course it's me-"
'tVhat object you hat in sooch pound
ings2"
ITO make noise"
''On-ah! Well, go aheadt / tink
maybe your object vhas to disturb me. -
Detroit Free Press.
HE had SEEN THE PERFORMANCE.
care them real cannibals 2" inquired
cOuntryman as he gazed on the wonders
of Milwaukee dime museum real
cannibals Well, dye know what I'd
do with 'em if this was my show r.
mo; what ~
'tPd starve 'em three or four days am
then turn 'em loose on the rest of the.
actors. lust saw the stage performance"
Chicago Herald.
HE WAS GOING TO AVOID THE CRASH
When the recent gold mine excitement
broke out in Georgia, an old chap down
near Griffin was induced to invest 5000
In the stock of certain mine After
his enthusiasm had passed away he
began to doubt, and one day he took the
train and paid a visit to the mine.
When he returned he was met at the
depot by his son, who asked:
'fWell, father, how is it ~
Henry, we've been swindled, y was
the reply.
elbow 2"
'fWhy, they are digging hole in the
ground and giving the man who turns
the windlass to draw up the earth a
dollar day and found Extravaganza
will sink the hull capital in less than
month, and I'm going to sell out afore
the crash comes Val Street Nesoa
IN BUSINESS.
''My dear, how soon can you get ready
to move ~
'MoveG Why, hubby, are we going
away 2"
Yes, Dear. see the papers say there
is $50, 900, 600 lying idle In the New
York banks.n
E'Well 2"
well, I'm going to get some of it. !"
''Why, how You're not going to-
rob the banks, / hope"
mo; I'm going to open q hotel In
Canada. - Chicago NesOs.
so NEAR AND YET so FAR.
They slowly approached the house, he
with sad, detected air, and she with a
proud, sconful look upon her fair young
face that boded no good to the wedding
bells and orange flowers. 81 cannot
imagine, my dear, he said mournfully
as they gained the front door, ''what
has come ove- you so suddenly. /
should at least know my offence. I
osv~