The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-07-31
A Detected Brother.

A Detected Brother.
A class-leader from the country was
walking about in the rotunda of the
Palmer House the other day, hum.
ming a hymn and feeling bilious, when
his attention was attracted to a mar
with side whiske1s and a look of woe
who was talking earnestly to a
couple Of others who looked solemn
enough to feel joyful at praycr-meet-
ing, SO he edged up to get within reach
OF their cheerful conversation, for he
longed for the soothing companion
ship Of those Of kindred ways and
thought.
81 tell you, friends" SAID the
mournful man with the m~utton-chops,
we're doing a grand work; a glori-
Gus work, as Deacon Pusher would put
1t. Why, sir, in my town the saloons
are just about ready to shut up"
The brother from the red gate al
ready felt the taste of mama in his
mouth, and edged up a little closer.
That's it, and we've done the same
thing" said a weak-eyed mar with a
voice like agony in despair up to the
armpits. .sWhy. sometimes It's all
you can do to get around without
stepping on the new beginners tloun-
dering about on the floor. l tell you
they've all got to come to us. Every
body is wild about it, and we're gath
ering them in right along, and some
of the very best people in town, too.
You never saw anything waken up a
community like we've done. It's
grand"
The brother with the buckskin nit
tens in his pocket set his teeth and
looked doleful, but he felt awful good.
He would have struck up a hymn
right away, but he wanted to hear
more, aud find out where the revival
could be found. He yearned to be
wrestling with them mourners. So he
groaned and took another step or two
forward.
Our case exactly put in a man
with an undertaker's placidity Of
c~ountenance. ''The past has been a
season of great profit to us, and all
this agitation they're getting up will
do us good; it will help the cause and
bring in people who wouldn't have
thought OF coming near us if there
hadn't been such a stir kicked up
about It,
The bucolic brother felt so joyful it
was all he could do to keep from pass
ing around the hat. Some people
were down on shouting, and of course
it raised a stir in the community, and
the subject was agitated. He put a
hand ever n ear, hitched up a little
closer. heaved a deep sigh, looked sol
emn, and felt tiptop.
Yes, that's so," said the chap with
the burnsides. But there's one thing
about it l don't like"
whats that?" quickly interrupted
the man with the burial permit scrawl-
ed or his face.
That's what l want to know, too,'
clipped in the one with the wall of
sorrow. "When we are having every
thing u W way | don't see why we
should complain or lind fault. OF
course it amt pleasant to have all
kinds OF people scratching around and
tumb!ing against you, and it's not the
most agreeable thing in the world to
have to catch a fat woman in time to
keep her from breaking a limb
"Or have another with a breath
smelling of onions hanging to you and
telling you all about her difficulties,
and how timid she is, and how much
she needs help, and all that sort of
thing interrupted the one of funeral
aspect.
The man in the background began
to feel shaky about the dlsinterested
zeal of the other brethren, for he
knew how cheerfully he wonld do all
that himself; yea, more, for the good
of the cause.
"But what is it you don't like2" re.
sumed the weak-eyed one.
why, it's the opposition we're get.
ting from the churches" replied the
apparition Of gloom with the whiskers,
II don't like that, n I'm afraid it
will soon begin to count against MS,
and hurt us like everything"
The brother with the mutton tallow
IN his vest pocket began to feel uneasy.
Had he struggled among the pickets
OF the Salvation Army, or only encoun
tered a schism that could be endured
if it only made convertsp 1t wouldn't
do to miss u word now; so he smother
ed a groan, held his breath, and walk.
ed up a little closer.
"Oh, thunderation, man! it won't
do anything of the kind" came from
- ' E -
the meekest man in the lot.
One doubt was dispelled. 1t wasn't
a schism.
SIN not so darned sure of that, but
l don't know as | care a cuss anyway.
The past has been kind to me- mtlr-
INJURED the one with the crap ish face.
The remaining doubt took wing.
They were not Salvationers. But who
in the name of clover bloom could they
be?
Eyes; and to me too" from the muf-
fled voice; $50 we won't bother about
it, or borrow any trouble on account
of the churches. But l say, what an
awful difference there is in feet, air
there:v"
Heavens! They were footwashers!
The sweat came ont and loosened the
grease in the detected brothers hair.
"Well, | should say so. Before [
went into this rink business | never
had any idea that it would take an
ordinary trunk under each foot to
+! give some women standing room. But
what was 1T the little governor said to
the big one?'
Sure enough! I'll declare, this
business makes Il fellow absent-mind-
ed" And the deceptive trio moved
toward the bottle department of tho
caravansary.
The cat was out of the bag at last.
These sober. visaged men had in re-
ality been discussing nothing more
beneficial to the soul than roller skates.
The badly deceived brother moved
hastily and sadly away, and sat down
in corner by himself, to brood and
shake his head and wonder what the
! world was coming to- Chicago Ledger.