Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-02-01

Off AIf 1lm rateIa MiulLlfA IN ~ N4tts
eend down the air = greetirg 70 us mills
On the dan thuBdef Of alternate Balls
Why, It is a sad thought il IS . solemn
fact 10 contemplate, that there are children,
born in this republic. who are young men
and women now, Who came in SINCE the last
Gail vent ont; who never saw 9 dali; never
heard n having no idea why lailS should
he alternate" Do you know talked not
two weeks ago with q young man, born and
brought up on an Ohio farm, who didn't
know What q fail was? he looked me Ia
The eye and made the confession without q
blush.
The 6rst time Lever met with a ffail vas
down in Stark county. Illinois. You know
that county as well "a / do. Elder Gross
was living in Toulon at that time, turning
sinners into Baptsts wherever he could lind
q stream Of Waist-deep water, and Grand
father Jones farm lay iust outside OF Latsy-
efte. Unable to think OF any specific mis-
chief / could work out about the farm that
morning. piileSslV locked out OF the tool
house because l had "sharpened q keyhole
saw with = rsttail 6le, and sawed an OK
bow In two with an eye ~torfaney sled run
Eers the next winter, l had climbed into the
barn lOft 10 comfort myself with the pigeons.
Boom, boom; boom, boom; down stairs,
and down ladder and post and the Incline
Of mountains OF bay l slId, and scrambled,
and rolled, until / found the men threShing
on the barn floor.
had always assisted at threshing hereto
fore We had threshed aforetime in the old,
old way; we had tredden out the corn with
tie mazzle6 OK, and with the tightly checked
horses, and I could stand in the middle OF
the mig and keep the procession moving:
But somehow / had always missed the ttall
business. Often | had heard this noisy,
booming din from other fsz-aWay barus on
the clesr November air, and nov l knew
whatit was Never did boy wait so imps,
tisntly for the dinner horn. thought the
men never would go away, that might
dance one set with the fail myself. How
easy it Was. How deity the strong arms
swung the greatwhips ofoak, and with grace
full sweeps dashed the golden grain from
the quivering, bearded straw. How l I'D,
mired the play of the brawnY arms, and
how l longed to take the contract OF thresh-
ing out al the rest of the wheat myself
The haudmaiden came to the kitchen
door at last and wound her mellow horn, the
hungry men went to dinner, and trembling
with esgerness, | approached the fail, as 1t
leaned against the side Of the tanning mill
Somehow il looked taller and grimmer
than when il was g~yr&ting about IN the AIR.
in graceful curves, ellipses and ~parabolas,
shook hands with the short leg, and the touch
chilled me. | felt as | think a man must
feel when be steps into the ring and shakes
hands with Slugger Sullivan.
A fail looks quiet enough. 1t seems gen
tie. Ii is not the sort Ofs whip q Christian
man would fog his little son with, but in Its
hour of ease il has q quiet, conveniently
loyelies-dreaming expression that is despe-
rately wicked and deceitful above all things.
A fail is your true patriciau. 1t is cordial
and actively useful with its equals, bat 1t
reseuts any familiarity from its interiors,
In the grasp Of its master, it IS clay IN the
hands Of the potter; griPPed by the unwary
aud swung by the initiated, 1t Is 8 brick IN
the hands Of a riOter, or a stone thrown oy
q lovely woman.
Some feeling Of this kind began to OPP
press me as / examined the simple, prlm
tive mechanism Of the fail. There has
never been any improvement in the con,
struetion Of this implement. The fail
sprang into being, Minerva like, full grown,
of mature age and in complete armor, sound
in wind. limb and condition. The first fail,
ike the first birds nest. was 4 perfect model
for all posterity. A whip of oak or hickory,
with the lash . little shorter than the handle
loosely hung together with a thong that
holds ike a mortgage. The sheaVes OF
wheat that look out from the elbows of the
barn where. the last Of the load, they are
crowded, SILVER when they look down and
see the fail leaning up against a bin, like a
village bully. waiting for a chance TO pound
something.
But nothing scares a boy very long. |
picked I'D the Gail. Ii was heavier than l
supposed it could be. [ marched out on
the barn floor to where the bearded sheaves
were living, ranked along in two even rows,
head to head, and the line OF battle just
long enough for the sweep Of the alternate
fails / raised the implement above my
head. | gave the same bold, ~areless swing
II know did-that Uncle Fred used, and
rivh. in the midst of the first circling rush,
without hesitation, remorSe, warning or
conjunction of conscience, | was knocked
down.
First event for the fail
When | got up, the Hail lay there on the
floor. II had not changed. 1t was the
same calm, imparsive old fail rubbed my
hesd, felt carefully of the lump. and deeid-
ed that | couldn't wear my Sunday hat for
two weeks, and consequently wouldn't have
10 20 to church, and then | grappled the
Gail again. / shrugged my shoulders to pro-
tect my head, and led the german. | never
saw any quiet thing 0y dround as that fail
did. Twice | saw it 60 sweeping past my
face. Once it smote me in the back with a
~resounding thump that made me think, then
and there, it had broken my'hesrt. And all
this time | couldn't get the bulge on it, to
whang il down on the wheat. | had got it
started on its inhuman circuit and / couldn't
s.op il. l had raised 4 demon | could not
control. II pounded my ribs sore in two
rapid successive strokes; and it was all |
could do 10 keep my feet on the floor; the
longer / held on the worse it got. At last
| let 90 ell "holiS," threw ms arms over my
head and started to run for my life. 1t Just
rained fails, brosdside, end on, and cris-
cross down on me all the way across the
big barn, until, with one final mighty crash,
fell down on the astonished dog Hector,
trying to hide himself behind the straw
cutter, q limp, inert, hopeless wreck Of howl
ing, boy, pidleSs fail and terrified dog.
began to think | would give out part of
that thresbiDg contract.
l sat up and cried for q minute or two,
and made some remarks on the subject OF
fails, not necessarily for publication, but
merely to place myself on record in case a
bill for the prohibition of fails as q beyer-.
age should ever be called up, and once more
/ arose aud picked up my enemy by the long
end. Icollared him with both hands, and
resolved that if the sacrifice Of my poor life
was demanded in order that future genera
tons Of boys might know now to dance
round dances with a loose iointed Hail with
mis6t legs / would die in the cause right
there, even though the next time / fell on