Connecticut western news. [volume] (Salisbury, Litchfield Co., Conn.) 1871-1970, 1885-04-08
A PROBLEM TO SOLVE.
A GIRL WHO has A VERY VIO-
LENT TEMPER.
L Young Man Is in Love with Her, but
Does Not Know What to Do.
From the New York SUM-
Here is case for careful treatment:


Here is case for careful treatment:
81 have kept company with young
lady for about ten months, and, believe
me, 1 am very fond of her. I have
taken her to balls, parties, and the
opera several times; have also made her
some valuable presents. In short, all
our acquaintances are sure it will be
match. Now, know her to have q
| very violent temper, and she doesn't
take much pains to conceal it. 1 would
like to marry her, but believe she would
make me miserable afterward. It will
cause me many pangs to give her up,
yet silently believe it will be the best
in the end. have come to the conclu-
sion to quit calling on her altogether,
beginning from the next outburst of her
temper. would like to act honorably
| in leaving. 1 would rather stay, but be-
ieye it best to go, and wind it up with
out delay. Will you please give me
your advice?"
It is rather late in the day for you to
talk about retiring when both the girl,
herself and all your friends are so sure
that it will be match; for we assume
that she has given you reason to sup
pose that her heart is yours. Long be-
fore now you must have found out the
frailty of temper of which you are so fear
full, and yet you have gone on paying
attention to her, keeping company with
her, until an engagement is almost a
foregone conclusion.
Perhaps your hesitation about coming
to the point and making a square pro-
posal of marriage has irritated her. You
have kept her in state of uncertainty
for ten months, meantime putting your
self forward as her suitor; have been
convinced that she is ready to give you
her hand, and yet have never said the
word which pledged you to take her as
your bride. You have given your com
mon acquaintance the impression that
an engagement is sure to result, and
that virtually, though perhaps not for
mally, the marriage has been deter
mined upon.
1t may be therefore that she has grown
impatient over your dilly- dallying, and
has became nervous and fretful. An
engagement which lasts long, subjects
the tempers of the betrothed to severe
test. They are apt at times to be eriti-
cal of each other, to be too exacting,
and to presume on their familiarity. In.
innate as they may be, they are still
apart, neither is fully known by the
other, there is conventional barrier
between them, and now and again one
or the other may exhibit in moment OF
irritation. or when off guard, traits OF
character or defects of temperament
previously unsupported. The intimacy
may for the instant tempt one or the
other to overstep restraints and cour-
tesy and careful regard for individual
rights, which are the more necessary
| the closer the relationship.
If people meet only occasionally, and
as mere acquaintance, failures in that
respect are of comparatively little &C.
count. You can guard yourself against
the rudeness or lack of proper consid-
Grafton of one you are thrown with only
casually by refusing to give him an op-
portunity to disturb you with his i'll
breeding or deficiency of fineness of per-
ception. But one who is near to you,
who is in constant association with you.
must be more careful to avoid offences
against true courtesy and against your
self-respect; and you must, on your
side, be equally solicitous not to make
intimacy au excuse nor use it as an OPP
portunity for neglecting what makes
human intercourse delightful.
But young woman who has not her
temper under control is, assuredly,
not we'll fitted to be q wife. If, even
when she is striving to make her best
impression on o man she is willing to
have as o husband, she cannot restrain
outbursts of anger and rebellion, she is
likely to have still less guard over her.
self when she becomes a wife, and is
subjected to the inevitable trials oil
married life. She betrays disposition
which promises to bring unhsppiness to
herself and those who are near her, NJ
matter how strong her affection for then
may be. A girl may have all Other
charms, and yet, lacking amiability,
she is without what will make her de.
sirable as a wife and capable of render
ing home peaceful and attractive.
If you are satisfied that this girl has
not such amiability, but is the victim Of
temper she cannot or will not cnrb,
you will be wise in dismissing the
thought of marrying her. If you can,
not get along together now without
fighting, you may be sure that as NAL
and wife your battles will be prett!
hard.