The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1885-04-03

y y
wonder. madam" replied he; 1.-THE
bridge is gone"
Equally ready was another actor,
whose benefit resulted in a very thin
house. The actress in the scene with
him speaking very low in her commun-
ications with her lover, he exclaimed,
with woful humor: my dear, you may
speak out; there is nobody to. hear us.
1t is related that at the opera in Dub
lin. gentleman sarcastically asked a
man standing up in front of him if he
was aware that he was Opaque The
other denied the allegation, and said
he was O'Brien.
The natural readiness of the Irish is
well shown in an argument between a
Saxon and Celt respecting the ma
tionalIty of various great men who had
lived and died. The Irishman had sue
cessively claimed each one mentioned
as q countryman of his own. till at
length the Englishman. somewhat net
tied, inquired: "How about Shakespeare
was he an Irishmanp" to which he
received the reply: ..Well, l can't say
exactly, but at all events he had the
abilities of one"
! A German paper tells story of q
certain General whose servant was in
the habit Of getting intoxicated.
Jacques. at last said his master
to him, Il shall have to send you about
syour business; / hear dreadful tales of
your, goings-on. - ...Ah. General" re-
piled Jacques, quite unabashed, s..if l
believed all the bad things people say
about you l should have gone away
myself long ago.
For calm presence of mind in the way
of answer, the following deserves q
foremost place.: '.Do you drink" said
temperance reformer to a beggar who
had implored aims of him. "Yes, thank
you. sir" returned the candid pauper;
''where shall we go?"
''What are you going to do when you
grow up. if you don't know how to
read, write and cipher?'' asked a
school-teacher of lazy, stupid boy.
who replied: ..I'm going to be a
school-master. an make the boys do
all the readip', writin' and cipherin'.
A small boy who is one of a family of
ten children was taken out for drive
with his mother. AS they drove past a
small cottage of two rooms, Johnnie
called his mothers attention to it, who
that it was a very small
house. YES" replied Johnnie, medi-
tatively; '.it's small; but it would be
plenty big enough for our family if it
wasn't for You and the children.
This was matched in readiness by
lad who applied to the Captain of a
vessel for berth. The Captain, wish
ing to intimidate him. handed him a
piece Of rope and said: If you want
to make good sailor, you must make
three ends of the rope. 81 can do it, :"
he readily replied. Here is one. and
here is another-that makes two. Now,
here's the third. !" and he threw it over
board.
'.Den't you find it hurts your lawn
to let children play upon ita' asked
friend of suburban the other day.
Yes" answered the gentleman adj
s.but it doesn't hurt the chill
dren."
Are you lost, my little fellowa"
asked . gentleman of q four-year-old
one day. NO." he sobbed in reply;
''but my mother is" ..And how does
Charlie like going to school?' kindly
inquired . good man of juvenile who
was waiting with tin can in his hand
the advent of . companion. II like
goin' well enough" he replied; s.but l
don't like staying after get there"
Quite as ingenious was the answer
of . boy who was kept after school for
bad photography. and excused himself
to his parents by saying that he was
spell-bound. what shall l talk to
you about?" said clergyman to some
school-children. about ten Minutes"
exclaimed . young girl.
Here's your money, doltr' cried an
angry debtor. '.Now, tell me why
your master wrote eighteen letters
about that paltry sum?' II am sure
can't tell, SIR" said the shop-boy;
'.but think it was because seventeen
letters didn't fetch it.
Don't you know it is very wrong to
smoke, my boy?" said an old lady to
} youngster who persisted in pulling q
cheap cigar. oh, smoke for my
health, = answered the boy, sancily.
But you never heard of : cure BY
smokfhg, she continued presently.
90 yes, I did, ~ persisted the boy,
=. big cloud; that's the way
hey cnre pigs. Smoke on. then, 2
quickly replied the old lady; there's
lsme. hops for yoa yet'' i ei.rI
!. An American strOlled into fashion,
Ible church Just before the service be-
yan. Thei scxtoA followed him up. /
Nd tapping him on The shealdsE and