davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16

Cousin John, l should like to know
what makes the difference between
VIII and me? study quite as hard as
he, and yet he is always ahead of me r
always up to questions Why, he seems
to see every ding in earth ami air and
sky.
'In other words, WIN cultivates his
observative faculties said Cousin John.
'Obseryative faculties'?' repeated
Dick slowly. l suppose you mean that
he notices what goes on around him?'
Yes VIII reminds me of a certain
old dervish.
what kind of a man is a dervish?'
Dick asked.
"Adervish is an old Persian or Turk
ish monk-One who pretendS to be very
poor aud pious.
''Will isn't that kind of fellow,
exclaimed Dick Indignantly.
no, indeed. | merely mean that
VIII, in his habits of observation, re-
minds me of story that | read. a
certain old dervish, on a journey across
the desert. met two merchants who
seemed good deal perpleXed about
something. He began to question them,
Ibid YOU lose a camcl?' he asked.
Yes. they replied
HE could not see out of his right
eye?' said the deryish. True, said
the merchants
He was lame in his left foot?
Yes
:. He had lost front tooth?' continue
ed the deryish. You are right, de-
clared the men.
AS to the load that he carried, was
it not corn on one side and honey on
the other?'
Good exclaimed the astonished
merchants. How fortunate that we
have met YOU, Since you have seen,
our camel and noticed him so closely
YOU must know just where we can find
him?'
- i do not. said the dervish. The
truth is that ! have never seen your
camel, nor heard of him except through
you.
"A likely story. exclaimed the
enraged men. Gomez tell us where
he is. and give us the precious stones
that YOU found upon him.
81 have seen neither camel nor
treasure, persisted the dervish.
''Whcreupon the men seized him and
carried him to the cadi, before whom he
was closely searched and tried. No
Jewels were found upon him, and, not
withstandmg all the questions asked,
no one could convict him of falsehood.
He is a sorcerer!' they cried.
"IIe was allowed to speak for HIM
self. however.
Having lived 50 long alone he
began. i have found much TO observe,
even in a desert saw the marks of a
camcl's footstepsin the sand, and ! knew
that he had strayed from its owner,
because there was no human footprints
near. | knew that he was blind in one
eve, because he had cropped the her
bage on one side of the path only: that
he was lame in the left foot, because
that foot made but a faint impression in
the sand; that he had lost a tooth,
because wherever he had grazcd one
little tuft of grass was left in the
middle of the bite. As to his load, the
ants informed me that it was corn on
one side, and the flies that it was honey
on the other.
Good for the dervishr' exclaimed
Dick. If he could see so much in the
desert. | ought to see ten times as
much in this busy town. Hurrah for
viii too! But now that | have found
out his secret he viii not be able to
keep 80 far ahead Of me-"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
a Horsewomanls Narrow Escape

Miss Mary Valentine was riding down
the road leading toward Cornwall from
Mountainville. y. Y. Half mile from
the Houghton farm, the horse became
unmanageable. Miss Valentine was I'M
able to check its career, and he dashed
down the road with headlong speed for
a mile.
AT Mountainville there is bend in
the road where it is entered by another
that crosses a creek over an iron bridge.
Miss Valentine tried to keep the frantic
horse headed toward Cornwall, but
failed. The horse veered TO the left to-
ward the bridge, and plunged off the
approach into the creek twenty feet be-
low, falling a distance Of thirty-tive feet.
The water in the creek was six feet deep.
Miss Valentine held the bride tightly
grasped, and her head just grazed the
limb Of a tree that grew within five feet
of the iron truss Of the bridge, between
which and the truss the horse had found
his wav. She managed to extricate her
self from the saddle, and two men who
were near at hand rescued her from the
water after she had sunk twice. Her
only injuries were a slight bruise of the
hip, but the horse. it is thought, receiv-
ed fatal hurt-M T. Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16

Sumner. There was upon it an express
sion of pain. but deeper expression OF
agoniZing sorrow. He stood few sec
onds in this position, surveyed once
more the whole Senate floor, straighten-
ed himself a little from his partly in
clining position toward the right, and
darted through the eastern folding doors
as if shot from cannon. In two days
he was dead | could not account for
Mr.. Summers strange conduct and that
terrible expression in his face 1t haunt
ed me- The next day learned he was
sick, and the next that he was dead and
it occurred to me in moment that pos
sibly Mr.. Sumner, as he stood there with
his hand upon his breast and surveyed
the Senate Chamber. might have had
presentiment that that look was the
last which he was ever to give upon
that body"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
Labor and Food.

The human body never ceases to
work Even in the most profound
slumber some of the functions of life are
going on. as, for instance, breathing,
the circulation of the blood, digestion.
when there is food in the stomach; and
it follows that some part OF the nervous
system is therefore awake and attend
inr to business all the day and night
long. In the act of living, some of the
substance of the body Is being con-
stantlv consumed. The amount of
work done by the heart in one day in
propelling the blood is now estimated
rs equal to the work of a steam engine
in raising l25 tons one foot high, or one
ton 125 feet high. We lose in weight
bv working Weigh a man after sew
eral hours hard labor. and he will be
found two or three. and, in extreme
cases. several pounds lighter. If we do
not wish to become bankrupt, we must
replace bv food the amount we have
lost by labor. Hunger and thirst are
the instincts which prompt US to do
this. They are like automatic alarm
clocks. which stop the engine at various
points to take on fuel and water In a
healthy man as much Is taken in as is
reagired to maintain the weight of the
tody against loss. Nature keeps the
accornt On one side is so much food
snent in work; on the other, so much
received into the stomach for digestion.
They should balance like the accounts
of an honest boo keeper. In an I'M
healthy person the instinct of hunger
becomes disordered and does not sound
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
Summers Last Day in the Senate.


Il shall never forget. Washington
letter reports Mr.. Hayden. late Chief
Engineer of the Senate. rs saying. ''the
last time that Mr.. Sumner was in the
Senate. | was sittjnx in my usual place
when | saw Mr.. Sumner rise, take his
hat and cane both in his right hand, as
he was accustomed to do. and start to
leave the chamber As he rose from
his seat lie put his left hand quickly 10
his left breast as if in pain, and seemed
to press il hard Then he stood, |
should say for full minute casting his
ewes around the entire range of the gall
lerieS twice. as if looking for familiar
face. He then. standing there, deliber-
atelv surveyed the whole Senate, and
then started for the east door As he
started he dropped his left hand from
his left breast. As be reached the east
door he once more put his left hand to
his breast. with a quicker motion. and
inclined his body slightly TO the right.
Once more he turned and | can see the
wonderful expression upon his face now.
1t turned first pale, deadly pale then be-
came a pearly gray. should never
have known the face was that OF Mr..
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
Ha;raseas Without Ha;rlooms

New York hcireSses are noted by all
society people to be the stupidest and
silliest girls in the city, or else the most
worldly and cailous. OF course there
are many exceptions of beautiful,
charming, and sensible girls who inherit
large fortunes; but, rs a general thing,
the training of Il New York heiress is
calculated to repreSs any energy. bright
ness, OF whims she may possess She is
in many respects like the daughter OF
an Englishman, but not so well off An
English nobleman ; daughter may know
anyone, because she is sure of the po-
sition of her people. But New York
hcress may not, for perchance her
waSherWOman was an intimate friend
of her grandmother. She is courted by
every kind of man. from the weak
but money-wise dude to the bogus no.
bleman. Here the tact of her wise
mother comes into play. If a gentle
man calls to see Ethel, her mamma
goes down and inspects him, telling him
She is $50 sorry Ethel has Just gone
out" or Ethel has a terrible head
ache, and if, after many subtle ques-
tons, She is convinced that he is all
right, she invites him to ''call again. .
An heiress of good family is hardly con-
tent unless She marries q real noble
man, but an heircsS Of a new family is
very glad to secure the poor scion OF a
noble Knickcrbocker name. Very few
heircsses marry for love. Very few Of
them have enough sensibility in them
to experience such a sentiment. But
they are clever at keeping a man at a
distance or turing him on to propose,
but he must show himself to possess
some recommendation before he is adj
mitted into the family.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
FOR THE YOUNG FOLKS.



ITS we'll went into the garden"
Said Eddie, his face all aglow,
For what do you think, mamma, hap
pened.
You will never guess, | know,
THE little brown hen was there, clucking
'Cut-cut, she'd say. quick as a wink
Then cut-cut' again, onIyaslower;
And then she would stop short and
think,
"And then she would say it all over
She did look SO sad and 50 vexed-
For, mamma, do you know she a forgotten
The word that She ought to cluck next.
$50 / said Ca-da-cut! Cav daw-cut'
As loud and as strong as | could;
And she looked round at me very thank
full,
tell you it made her feel good
Then she tapped, and said, 'Cutcut-ca-
daw-Cut'
She remembered just how it went then,
But it's well | ran into the garden,
She might never have clucked right
again.
81 Nicholas
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16

thing on this continent. But what is it
all about? | can't understand any more
Of their lingo than if they were singing
in high Dutch. ?"
III read you the argument, aunt,
and then perhaps YOU can follow them.
They are singing IN Italian.
Il want to know if that glibberish is
Italianl Well, | only wish Peleg was
here He ALWAYS has kind of faculty
for understanding anything furren. /
heard him tell French Canadian. who
worked for us in haying last summer,
that he might pitchee ong. and rakee
after, or helpee the other mang pitchce
OFF and stow &c awav.' and a tickeleder
man than that Cauuck YOU never sced
I He vah-hawed and held on to his sides
1 like - split. till was afaared he raise
I the whole ne ghborhood. Poor fellow,
supp it sounded kinder good to
him to hear his own lingo spoke, aud so
unexpected. too. He looAed at your
uncle in q queer sort of way, and said,
when he could speak for haw-hawing,
We'll, if it hain't no odds to You,
guess I'll help the other man stow
10 'e sur ei''T p1'h i'i
,iS nam oHcI55 Iaucil, DuI peii'.N :
and make himself understood. -
Now, aunt, we mustn't speakanoth-
er word till the opera is through, be-
cause we disturb other people.
Il suppose we do, but whenever any
thing happens YOU nudge me and III
' D -, ~
una. = lllg way eief tla "o men ; VIZ
- - ..ie = I'm - sGal SoJt't y,
anu e'ei M. 80 S,ti ~, 49, ~. % wei
I ID spene. G ii piocer.'
sang the glorious voice.
"Braya. Bravo! Braya!" rang from
i'll parts Of the house.
.Hooray."
"Hhg, amt TaJer. SIT dorm :"
\ ..Ef Peleg were only here! Hip-hip-'
"Aunt, in pity's name keep still
Don get 50 excited
..Wen. I never! The sweat's just
rolling off o me and I'm rs weak as
rag baby! / wish had my turkey tail;
that might Of a fan of yours don't give
wind enough to cool a mouse. "
Now, aunt, do keep quiet You Ii
hear better and Won t get so warm ~
well, dear, / suppose YOU are right,
but didn't that sound like an angel
choir?n
Twas certainly very fine. One
thing is sure, you We heard Patti at her
bestr'
I'm so glad | cum! And if Peleg
was only along-but there, l hain't 60
Ing to speak again till the uproar is
over.
And so the opera went on, Mont,
Durat and Claudio holding rich, firm
background of deep tone to the bril-
liant. soul-entrancing vOcalism of the
soprano and contralto.
i Louisa Alden. what are them half
nude statues a standing up in the back
there9 Don't they realize that the
whul congregation can see them, and
haven they any modesty?
'.Why, aunt, that the ballet :"
'Tne bare what?'
The ballet, aunt. Look, look, there
they come. Ism, that the very poetry
of mo-
Louisa Sophronia Taber Alden. just
YOU pick up your regimentals and foller
me. and that quick, too
But, aunt"
You needn't but aunt me. just
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
A Strange Wooer.

Pitts is sharp man, man of bust
ness tact; and when Pitts goes into a
shop he always gets the lowest cash
price. and says
well, III look about, and if don t
find anything that suits me better, III
call and take this. -
Pitts, ike all sharp men, is partial to
women, and young ones in particular.
Now, quite lately, Pitts said to him
self
Il am getting rather along in years,
and think I'll get married.
His business qualities would not let
him wait, so off he travels and calls on
a lady friend, opening the conversation
by remarking that he would like to
know what She thought about his get
ting married.
'tOh. Mr.. Pitts, that is an affair in
which | am not so very greatly inter-
ested, and | prefer to leave it with
yourself
But, says Pitts, you are inter
ested, and, my dear girl, will you mar
~ me?.'
The young lady blushed very red
hesitated. and finally, as Pitts was very
well to do in the world. and morally.
financially, and politically of good
standing in society, she accepted him.
Whcreupon the matter-of-fact Pitts
said
well, well, I'll look about. and if
don t find anybody that suits me better
than YOU, III come back
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
The Office Boy.

Is the office boy idle!
No; he is not idle; he is frantically in.
dustrious; he is killing himself with hare
work.
VIII it take him long?
Unfortunately yes; lie is very tough.
What is he doing now?
Rather ask what is he not doing? He
has the faculty of doing SO many usefu
things ut the same time that it is i'm
possible to guess what he may not be at
lie is probably at this moment engaged
in sweeping out, busting, tidying up tho
several rooms, going on few scores o.
errands, and quietly awaiting opportu-
mites to be useful.
Does the office boy ever make any I'M
necessary noise?
Oh, dear, no; he never whistles OF
PLAYS the DEVILS hornpipe on his desk
with his lily-whitc fingers; he was never
known to raise his voice in unseemly
believing No, my dear sir, you have
been misinformed,
Is the office boy ever rude or dis
courteous?
Not a bit of it. He is courtesy itself.
His bumps of veneration and reverence
cover his entire head He looks up &c
his employer rs superior being. He
would sooner 90 without his meals for 8
week than once omit the ''sir'' after yes
or no, OF to return thanks for the small
est favor.
Then YOU think the Office boy is not tc
be improved?
Assuredly not 1t would be like at
tempting to paint the lily or gid refined
gold. No, sir; the Office boy is the one
perfect thing in nature.
Do you love the Office boyP
Consumcdly. Without him life would
be uulivable. The thought of having tC
part with him is the only shadow that
darkens the way to the silent tomb.
Do you know whore he is now?
All, now you ask the something that
nobody can answer. ! only know thai
he is not in the office He is so eou sci
entious. you know He absents himself
fearing that he may disturb somebody
or be in somebody's way. But he never
is in the way. Oh, no, John! | say
hello, John. Where in thunder is that
hoy now. I wonder A. Boston TyGHScyiDt
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
Siftinrs.

How does it happen, Bridget, that
there are as many feet of gas charged
for this month as last, when Mrs. Bios
som and myself have been out of town
three wecks?'' Sure an ] can't tell,
sor. sayin' that whin the gintleman
came to LUX at the mathur there was
six fate of coal an wood a top of il, an
he observed that | needn' bother wild
it. he'd take a lux at the pracaydin
figgers Maybe he added the six fate
of wud an coal, | don know. '-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Some persons appear to find itimpos-
sible to avoid he use of terms asSocia-
ted with their calling even when the
terms chance to be awkward. An
author. while discussing the corn law
question. was heard to inquire what
price bread was published at; and a
printer boy, just returned from deliy-
ering a letter, declared that he had
1 found the place out at last, ''but it was
at the top of the house, and he had to
open half quire of doors before he got
I to it.
/ A Scotch boy injured his leg severely.
The cure progressed slowly, and the
mother who was very anxious, cOnclud-
+ ed to consult a "bone-setter. The
! latter worked hard over the leg, and at
/ last got the bone in to the music OF
+ the boy ; lustv screams Didn't the
after it was all over. Eyes, ne did,
mother said the lad, ''but ! was na
sic fool as to gle him the sair leg.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16

A vouncstor Of a dozen years went to
pass tie Whitsuntide holidays with his
grandmother ia the country. In the
evening When they sat down TO dinner.
tie grandmother cried: ''0h. my
Taere are thirteen Of u.s.. Don't be
worried. grandmother, cried the young
ser. II viii cat for two.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
aHair nrushlng BY machinery.

Everybody has heard of the new way
BARRIERS have of dressing hair-their
patent rollers and patent brushes The
subject has the delightful sensation Of
brush rolling over his head at the
rate of an ordinary steam engine. The
wind. the tickling, the fairy-like sensa-
ton, are almost equal to the institution
in which female fingers perform the
delightful office. A few days since,
however, in a certain metropolitan
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16
No Special Rates to Ministers.

A bony, long legged gentleman,
wearing a tall hat and gold trimmed
spectacles and having a clerical appear
ance, recently approached the ticket
window at the Grand Central Depot,
when the following words were
overheard by bystanders:-
''Is this the ticket otiice?'
Yes sir. >
''Do you sell tickets to Proyidence?"
Eyes sir.
'What is the price of ticket to
Providencc?'
Five thirty-fve.
HIM. Pause Do you have tickets
for clergymen?"
/ Yes, sir.
III m. What is the price of those?"
Five thirty-fye."
The lean, long-legged stranger
glanced sternly at the irreverent
railroad man over his spectacles and
then withdrew.
In half an hour he appeared again at
the window of the ticket agent, eX-
claimed excitedly, Give me ticket
for Providence. Quick
What your hurry, sir?" asked the
agent.
"Oh, don't ask me! | haven't time to
explainr'
but the train doesn't leave for an
hour yet. =
Isn't there one that leaves right
away?"
no, sir. ANY friend of yours
dying?"
Great Scott, nor
what your hurry. then?'
''Why, I've just been informed that
there are 5000 more women than men
in Providence"
'Wall, what of that?'
'WeH, you see, | guess you don t
know me. I'm a Mormon missionary,
and -
Good morning." shouted the agent,
slamming down the window.
Mr.. Mulcahey Had the Right of Way and
was Going to Win His Bet.
A sleepy policeman was yawning
and rubbing his eyes in East Fifty
ninth street one morning last week,
when his attention was attracted nv a
sound of unsteady footsteps. An Irish
man with red face and fringe Of
white whiskeIs came staggering along,
the worse for liquor. The policeman
recognized HIM as one Of the political
/ lights of the ward
"Good morning, Mr.. Mulcahey.'
Good mornin to you, sorr. Is it
| (hic) pasht two o clock yet?"
Its nearly ). Hadn't you better
get home?'
..Home-why home? Old woman 5
home. I've been to Mickey Grogan $
wake Everybody drunk but me. I'm
sober, sorr.
Not quite, Mr.. Mulcahey,"
Dye want to bet l can't walk a
line?"
''I'll bet you can't go inside the car
track for block"
"Begorra, | can
The whole street seemed too narrow
for Mr.. Mulcahey, and the policeman
felt sure of winning Mr. Mulcahey
walked nearly half block on the up
track. and was advancing with I'M
steady gait and great solemnity of eX-
preston, when a runaway came in
sight The driver had fallen off, and
the horses were plunging madly. Mr..
Mulcahey shouted to them to take the
other track.
1t took four policemen an hour to
pry the wagon off Mr.. MHlcahey, and
when he revived in Belleyu Hospital,
he said:
Il can whip the man who hit me. >
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16

"Why didn't YOU marry your husband
fifteen years ago; be would have taken
YOU then2 asked an Austin lady of q
ncwN-married friend i know it, but
fifteen years ago he was too old to suit
me- "-IcraS Slf1iHgS
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16

BARRIERS shop, the result was different.
A stranger entered and took his seat,
asking that his hair might be dressed.
The steam-brush was applied, and for
single, feverish moment the pleasure
was indescribable. But unfortunately
the hair of the subject was long-so
was that of the brush 1t tangled.
There was yell of pain as a handful
of hair came out by the roots another
succeeded, and yell more intense
then the preceding one attested the
anguish Of the sufferer.
''Stopi' he cried
The barber was unable to manage
his machine, and hastily imagined
what was the matter. But by this
time the sufferer had been drawn out
of his seat, and hanging between
heaven and earth, resembling an inn
promptu execution.
Get down. screamed the operator.
"Oh-oh, can t, mumbled the sui
ferer.
The barber couldn't sympathize in
such weakness, and ruthlessly applied
his machine, while the hair came out
by the handfuls. The mans head was
literally bare. His loud cries finally
procured release, and he was again
seated in the chair, rubbing his 5alled
pate with energy,
I'm sue YOU I'm ruined" he
cried.
Glow can | help that?' the operator
asked with assumed Indifference.
Wretch, don't you see you've made
me bald!n
Yes, sir, | see; but, sir-I'm happy
to say we have wigs to sell, and -
1t is useless to say that our victim
interrupted with a word not down in
Webster, quitting the shop minus the
purchase, and rubbing his sore head
with an energy that fully attested the
warmth Of his feelings.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-16

We were both of us-yea, we were both of
us there
In the selfsame house, at the play together.
For her it was summer, with bees in the
air;
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1885-08-15
Coming Back for Bread and Butter.

Judge Lawrence got back this
morning from Dutch Flat, California,
where his family resides. He found
his wife so i'll that she can hardly re.
main in any position for an hour at a
time,and he would not be surprised to
hear of her death,a at any time. She has
all possible care, howe, er, being sur
rounded by her two married daughters,
a Younger daughter of IS, and a
bright boy of II.
Last Sunday Judge Lawrence per-
formed the mournful duty of burying
his brother, a prominent citizen and
the leading hotel keeper of Downie.
vile, CAL, who died OF consumption,
at the age Of 81 years.
Under the above circumstances it
was with heavy heart indeed that
Judge Lawrence left his family to re-
turn to his cla'm-the Cyclops--on
the Bullion divide. But he was CON-
PEELED to, as this is his only means of
keeping the gaunt wolf from the door.