Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1885-09-09
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.

Lot 1T he would throw IL down ana
trample 10 under foot, exclaiming: ~
8 No, that isn't mine!' until the head ~ u
gear OF all the unsuspicious members az
inside strewod tn" passage. :" IL you W
please, sir" said the alaays respectful pa
HOFFMAN, "wbat are you looking for?" "
e My ha.-my hat!" said the poet ~
Then came tho information: III you ~
please, sir, / noticed THAI, when you 20
came in, yen hadn't ole on" "'
A dairy, on the approach Of a storm, h,
was sent out todrivsin some mules and h
while be WIS out The lightning struck n
a tree near him, aud he WAS knocked =,
sensolets. He was carried home, and
restOratives we're applied. well, jim, 4
said the farmer, when he opened his y
eyes, " do yon feel better now" eyes, n
boss, | doesl" I" II was narrow es- a,
cape, jim" 81 srec IL was boss, but ~
DIDN'T have have no idea dat was 30
close to dat mules heels. oughter y
kno wed dat yer can't trust a mule no.
how"
She was putting on more airs than q
whirlwind, and, when she appeared at G
the meeting in the scboolroOm, the rus t
tie of her dress attracted the attention q
OF all the persons present. She was en- {
Wed by all the WI III 30 until little boy I
I
ducked, The urchin had formerly driv-
en- the tow horse for her fathers canal
boat, and knew how to take her down.
peg. Then that little boy was blessedl
by every Jealous maiden there.
A gray hair WAS espied among the ra-
ven locAs Of a charming young lady a
few days ago. "Oh, pray, pull 1t outV
she exclaimed. II pull 1t ont, ten
will come to the funeral" replied the
lady who had made the unwelcome dis
icovery. Pluck IL out, nevertheless,
said the dark haired damse tits OF no
consequences how many come TO TO the
funeral, provided they all come in
black"
"Don't sit 80 near the window, dar-
ling" said a spoony ycurg bridegroom
10 is bride, on their wedding tour
" lot us try 10 keep the co apartment TO
ourselves. Some idiot is sure to get In
if he sees your pretty fice.' The same
speaker, thirty years later: Move
! up to the window, old woman, 30 that
we can have the compartment to our
4 selves; you will friphten all the other
:; passengers away, you know
q 81 do not believe in this nonsense
Il about Friday being an unlncky day,
II pald Mrs Minks. Don't you, my
ont of humor. II believe in II, though.
< Friday, you will remember was the
d day was foolish enough TO ask yen TO
b marry me-" I" All, yes Mrs. Minks
Z responded 80 it was, and | was fool
4 ish enough to accept you. Yes, Friday
is an uDlucky day"
ID The acquaintance Of the female mind
18th the mysteries Of commerce and
= finance Ia extensive and paraly Zing.
ID " why" said a well to do young
woman who had just received draper
d, bill, " why do they keep en- sending mt
- this? know well enough / sot th'
i, things Last summer, 80 what's the use o
reminding me OF It,"
Young wife Uust come home from tn
u cooking schooD " feel 80 encour
Il aged. Miss Crusty complimeuted III
on thy progress, TO day. But poor Mis-
~ Smith am really sorry for her. Sh
%, tries bard, but she doesn't seem TO ge
I'd on at all" Young husband Yo
must remember, my dear, that Mis-
-, Smith has no Que to practice on
a He (gushingly) Lottie, woul
l,s really give hundred dollars to hrv
those pearly white teeth OF yours ~,
M She: " Really, now" He
* would indeed - She (sotto voce)
r What a pity he Is to be my hushan'
- else that would have been capiti
- stroke Of busincsg-at ieast Einety-h'
IL dollars car profit"
e s' De BLINK: No, don't feel ILL
!: doing any thing more. Why can't yo
y attend to It ] onrself 2" Mrs. DE Blanl
20 i" Because cant that's why. ?o
iot arr" DE Blank: Remembe
r. my dear, il is tho female mosquito Tn
. stings." Mrs. DE Blank " Yes, Il
ND III ales are too lazy"
va eli. where did you get them trow
u sersY" asked an Irishman of q man wi
hal pened 10 be passing with pair
HE remarkably short tro1sers on.
a.e them where they grew was ,he indi
~ pant reply. Then, be me- conscience
10 -, said Paddy. you've pulled them
IN year too sooB"
arth A well known Paris beauty has o
IL drawback; her hands arc the color
bold lobster. Some one happened
INT mention her name to Godinet, the 8
az, 90 thor. "she IL very pretty" said
wit f" / see only one fauly in her. ii
ont hands are trifie too-bsshful."
urth A man may have domestic quiet q
81. harmony enough to keep LIS mot
shut while his wife's relations are
lis the house, but when he secs one OF
rni. tine RULED shirts on hts brotber-in-la
and what wonder if he feels that he IN
TT 90 down III the cellar and shovel CT
or burst.
~ 81 wonder why Mrs. Blank alw,
.ast wears her dresses cut 10 low IN
o. is neck 2" inquired an uDsoptistica
'erty, Young gentleman of a cynical acquai
w, "m' auce. Eumph ! that's easy.
wears her dress thut way 30 that
AND can give her husband plenty Of C
Is, on shou der.
W.T. higgins never loses his gallant
Ely When he came home how coue-yol
81 the other night, and MrP. b told
- she was asbamsd of him, higgins
10 OR pli4d. Better my wife (hic) sho
II an X ~ ,,n,,a1 Of ma (hipl than
w. j. oe "oh,s" ~. " Ii -
,twt 1 rhOuld DC asnauoi Vi my "i'o'
- Vis,,or well, Mrs. Flanagan, n
- do the doctor say about your poor
bands deafness ?" Mira Fan "
B.Gad, miss, the docthor Gays Til
never hear a2'in hut" she vbi-p
"plase don't spake loud--it mi
make him depressed loike."
n ON Women are coming to tie fro
HAN Verv true, and the nv jority of n
fersGn kind wouldn't care iftpe dear Great
, and didn't persist in wearing such aspi
ess a, headg gear but alas tho nearer
s oops' get to the front the higher Is the
prices net they wear.
.snsct A girl who III rried An old mise
his wealth, but pretended that
married him only for love. was
II prisad when she asked him for {
NJ money for the first tim g, at his repl
III t,ln Law dar In, aaho no