The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-03-21
VOL. xx.
An Crsslked.

Ill An Croeked.
Sometimes, when tie clouds are dull
and the wind is in the east, when the
grade is heavy, the steam Is low. and
fhe sand-box empty. it does seem as
shosgh this old world had slipped an
Sccentrac and was only working one
side. The wicked man fiourishee like
= green bay tree, while his honest
: naghbG gets whipsawed every deal.
o 1ne doctor prescribes quinine for your
chllls, and the druggist puts yor up
something worthless and cheap for two
dollars an ounce There are fifty-three
authors Of the Beautiful Snow" and
) not one for the aBread- Winners" In
: Philadelphia one manufactory makes
! nothing but centurv-old "grandfathers'
: clocks, and furnishes pedigrees for
: the same to the purchaser, until to own
tall. antique clock is proof positive
that yeur family began only with your
= father. In Chicago they make violins
that look one hundred years older than
the most genuine Stradivarius four
5 weeks litter they are made, SO that now
An ancient, honest-looking, decrepit
VIOLIN Is prima facie evidence of glaring
and o atrageous frand. There is water
an tie milk Of commerce, and sugar in
the sand the gro s'r sells. We have
r1gors where WI used 20 have chills.
old Suhscriber" is usually man who
borro ws the paper from . neighbor, or
reads the copy pasted mp on the bull
ssAeean board; Constant Reader" who
1erer read anything in his life save the
Pscsures on circus poster; and *Tax-
Payer" is the aign4ture OF = tramp. A
genius writes poem with
soul of fire that lives forever and a
day. and dies ia tears and loneliness
and poverty in hall bed room, fifth
tnc0f back The Queen writes . book
that no living man outside the Guelph
family and the proof-reader could he
hired to read. and has nie three tines
day, owns four dogs, and has India
shawls to give to the flood sufferers
So it is Man goeth to the skating
1hk with JOY in his heart and mirth on
hs lips, and he cometh awayswiths his
back SO full of pine slivers that the
.QQrcupine sayeth unto him, "Thou art
brother" and the hedgehog crieth
SE him.. Behold my father and
mother.
When December is here with select
sAsortment Of chilblains and FROST
abees. weory. @Would heaven it we're
July" And when July is come,
straightvay we are su1struck
There's three tlseusafld known clas-
sified and dsscrihetl species of fish.
And yeta man can fish in good water
all day long aud never catch one soli-
tary specimen OF the smallest kind,
and bringeth home with. him only \
two weeks ration Of malarial fever.
This also is vanity. 49,.
Tho girl with soft eyes and rippling
brown hair. who walks all over you.
poor futtering heart at the charity
ball. has just finished a crazy quilt,
containing one thousand and sixty-four
pieces of neckties and hat Innings, nut
together with twenty-one Thousand
three hundred and ninety stitches. And
her poor old father fastens on his sus
penders with long nail, piece Of
irvine. q sharp stick, and one reguhrl,
ordained bntton.. This also is vanity
Man planteth bed of pansies in the
front yard, and 10! there cometh up
nanght save colony O! cut worms only.
He goeth forth into the field and drop
peth corn INTO the hill, and four HIN
dred million crows sing as thov pluck
it out OF the ground after him.
Ho strolleth through the leafy woods.
and his hide is filled with chigres. lie
lolleth in the fragrant winrows of new
mown hay, and straightway biteth him
self with snake There are spring
guns in the orchard, . bull in the pas
ture. ram in the meadow, dogin the
yard, and three tramps down the road,
80 that he hath no rest for the sole of
his foot, and no Joy for his Heart if he
moveth out of his room.
Somebody has got to straightan this
old world out, and as they seem to be
. little slow about it, have made up
my mind that will do it myself. Why
should Vanderbilt ride in a private car,
when sometimes it is hard grubbing
for an honest journalist to secure q trip
pass? Why should ex-senator Tabor,
the magnificent, pay ont more money
for night-shirts than home missionary
can afford for carpets? Go to! II
something is not done speedily, of q
verify will join the Communists, and
become an agitator and live without
working. Next to being q capitalist, il
u more profitable to be m agitator.-
BssvliaQtO,s HaUkeye.