The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-01-01
manitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, JANUARY /, 1885.
The Man From Shelby.

Had Col. George Drain of the Ohio
and Mississippi railroad, been set up IN
a museum Yesterday as the maddest man
| in the world, he would have carried on
the first prize.
| Early Yesterday morning he received
A pointer that a Shelby county farmer.
IN his way to Arkansas, was aboard
the down train on the Shortline road,
and that there was every chance IN the
| world of selling him a ticket clear
through to Hot Springs if he could
meet him at the depot. With an eye
TO business Col. Drain fastened to the
Water street depot, and when the train
| rolled in long, lean, lank, back
woodsman with grizzly beard, carry
ing lean-looking carpetsack OF the
ancient style. stepped from the front
car. The colonel recognized his man
the moment he laid eyes upon him, and
with the air of an old acquaintance ad-
yanced upon the stranger and extended
his hand, bidding him the time OF day.
II don't know YOU" said the man
from Shelby.
That's funny" replied the colonel.
Il thought every man, woman, and
child, in Kentucky knew me. You're
going TO Hot Springs, l believe9''
That's whar I'm bound for"
well, come over here and let me
see you a minute.
The stranger sat down his carpet
sack, pushed up his sleeves, unbutton-
ed the collar of his hickory shirt, and
then with cold CLEAN in his eyes,
turned upon the colonel and said:
''Lookee hyar, my young Christian
friend, I wuz born an rized up hyar in
Shelby, but | never got my book-larnin'
fur nothin', | hain't so darned green
es look. take the newspapers reg
ularly, an l read every day about how
US country fellows are swindled when
we strike the city. Now took a sol
emn, paralyzed oath just afore I lot'
home that the very fust three-card
monte man that tackled me I'd wade
inter him an wipe up the whole coun-
try for two hundred yards in every di-
rection with him"
but I'm not three-card monte
man. pleaded the colonel with an air
of injured innocence and smile as soft
as the first summer breeze.
Eyer hain't? Well, | reckon then
yer one of ,nese fellows as wants a
greeny to 60 with yer to get a lottery
ticket cashed.h
No, nor I'm not a bunko steerer,"
protested the colonel.
Yer haint, hey? Well then, reckon
yer must be one of these fellers as
wants check cashed."
| mo, no. cried Col. Drain. I'm not
a confidence man either. Do l look
| like a dishonest man?" and the colonel
assumed one of his most innocent rail
| road agent expressions.
| ''Oh, they all look innocent enough
but them innocent looking chaps is the
wust kind. Now, lookee hyar, stran-
ger; if you hain't tryin' to steer me up
against brace, what is yer racket,
anyhow"
Il simply want to put you in way
to save some money" replied the col
onel, meekly.
Now lookee hyar; I'll just give yer
two minutes to get clear out O my
| sight. If at the end O that time We
are still lingerin' around in my pres
ence, I'll run knife clar through yer
body and clinch the blade on the other
side. Whenever | want any outside
| advice about how ter save money I'll
| let yer know. Now you get?'
| Col. Drain heard this little speech,
and then promptly girding up his loins,
| he pulled down his vest and fitted
| Louisville Commercial.