Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1885-07-15
PITH AND POINT.


board was 80 cheap that--the story II
too sad to conclude. Merchant TTau-
eler.
An, maiden with the lsurhine cyes-
All, Maiden with the hanged hair
Thy bustle 10 OF monstrous size
Thy shoulders hump themselves in cir.
Thou hast 2 hat rrodig. o 70 tall
As though perchance thy shoon were small
For feet that call for number eight.
Exchange.
"SMITH won't take his part said the
stage director to the manager. .What
il it9" asked the manager. "The part
of woman" 'Tis mighty mean
man who won't take the part of wo-
man." answered the manager. Boston
Star.
IT il all the fashion now to use little
gold mic0 zfgrss astenings. 0eu-
tlemen who are aware OF this fact can
infuse life into dull social assemblies BY
informing some healthy young lady
that there are dozen mice under her
chair Burlington Free Press.
II DIDN'T see you at the party" said
one benedict to another. "No; was
tending wake" was the answer Of the
other, as he thought how he prone
naded the bedroom for four mortal
hours with q kid that refused to be
comforted.-- Marathon Independent.
EpITApH ON TOMBSTONE IN A GRAVE
YARD IN PLYMOUTH, COUNTY, MASS.
Herel lies the bones of X caard Lawton.
Whose death, alasl was strangely brought on
Trying his corns one day t. NOW on,
His razor slipped and cut his toe on.
His toe. or rather what II grew to.
An inflammation quickly flew to,
Which took, ansl to NOR Tying,
And was the cause Of Richards dying.
Six months after marriage, the hus.
band tells his wife, in one of those
bursts Of confidence in which the mar
ried man sometimes INDUCES, that
there is no living with her. And only
half year ago he was telling the same
woman that there was no living with
out her. How tickle some people are,
to be sure !-E.rchange.
Nor WHAT He INTENpED.-He q
crack tennis-player)-"It's . splendid
game, isntit? / really think that your
sex ought to get up testimonial to the
inventor. It's the best game ever in
vented in which ladies can join" She
with brother in his university eleven)
Eyes. that's what Jack says; It's Q
splendid game for ladies and buffers"
Exchange
A STUPID young man, supposed to be
ck-brained, who was slighted by the
girls. very modestly asked young
lady IF she would let him spend the
evening with her." "No," she angrily
replies, "that's what I won't" "Why,"
replied he, "you needn't be 30 fussy.
don't mean this evening, but some
stormy one. when ! can't go anywhere
else.-Erchange
A DIsausTED victim Of the weather
has composed the following little epic:
First Y Is slippery
Then 1t 10 sloppery;
Now 1t 10 skippery,
Jumping jun Il e and nUP1shi 11sshins.
feISanEspE eSajsryE snf ss1.ss*s ssl:sslns, ......,
Gum shooees aka eSshery, ~
Gossasners, wraps.
Falls and mtebape.
Arnca, lint
Words not for print.
FIRST thief-"You're lucky dog. /
didn't expect to see you out 30 soon.
So the jury didn't convict your" Sec
ond thief-"No." "And yet there you
stood before them with the stolen money
in your pocket It's lucky they didn I
search YOU" "They did" "They did !!
They didn't find it?" "No, I didn't
have it." "Why, what had you done
with it?" "Paid it to my lawyer -
Philadelphia Call
PHILADELPHIA Call: Health officer
"Don't you know, sir, that all this dirty
straw in your cars is inimical 10 tho
public health? Why don't you take it
out?" Street-r&ilway official: "Oh,
We can't afford it; out Of the question"
"Cant afford what? Go without any
thing, If necessary; only get rid Of the
straw" "But say we can't afford it.
Taking the straw out would cut down
our dividends" "What in the world
would you Loser" Lose? Great Ca.
sar! We would lose all the money
dropped in the straw by passengers
while searching through their change
for tho odd cent.
NEW MAPLE SUGAR.
Sweet harbinger Of early spring.
What recoiess ii,ns ion. sny pss1se ehoS dos. bring
OF early days.
In groc RS windows thou dost lie.
The source of Joy,
And for thy saCcharine juices sigh
The girl and boy.
Fain on thee would they make raid,
And care no rap,
Because q sweet, thou art not made
OF maple sap.
What thou art made Of no ono asks,
Friend OF the mass 81
OF scrapings of the sugAr-caskS
Or stale mOlassee.
II is enough that thou Art sweet,
Not hard to break:
And when a boy takes thee to eat
He takes the cake.
The maple sap begtus to flow
When thou art here.
New maple sugar." and VIC know
That spring 10 near.
-Boston Courier.