The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18


vana, yet there is not respectable pa
per in the city that does not publish
every evening the gambling transactions
Of Wall street, which amount to millions
IN single day, As long as this species
of gambling is regarded as respectable
sud honest 1t will be difficult to make
men believe that it is a crime to bet on
q horse-race.
Only o few weeks ago we had here q
Lager Bser Brewers Convention, and a
very intelligent and jolly lot OF fellows
they were, The brewing interest Is not
a small one in New York, and the visit
ing brewers received such welcome as
they are not likely to forget. Among
the reports Noticed this item; "Annual
product, eight millions Of barrels" I"
Now, a barrel of lager beer costs eight
dollars, so, IN round numbers, this will
make the wholesale price of the beer
sixty-four millions Of dollars. If the re-
tail price only doubled this, it would
make one hundred and twenty-eight
millions OF dollars, instead of which, il
quadruples it, making the sum which
the people of the United States pay for
lager alone, two hundred and fifty-six
millions of dollars, or about enough to
pay all the expenses of the Government,
support our Army, Navy, Judiciary and
Diplomatic Corps, pay all our Pensions
and the interest ON the National Debt.
But 1886, 100000 will not settle our
liquor bill; besides this are ale, whisky,
brandy, gin, wine, rum, etc. If we pay
S256, ,000,0 900 annually for lager alone, it
will require at least $500, 900, 600 to foot
the other bills, and l doubt very much
If $500, 100000 will do 1t, making total
of S750,O00,000 that the people of the
United States pay for Intoxicating
drinks each year. In regard to lager
about which l began--if a man desires
to lead strictly virtuous and sober life,
and be removed far from temptation, let
him go toConeyIsland and stick religious
ly to lager. If he avoids the pitfalls that
lie in milk punches and whisky cock
tails, and such like fluid denominations.
he Is safe. The glass of lager at Coney
Island is pleasant halluclnation; it is
little more than shadowy illusion, like
the froth that lies along the shores of
dream--now you see it, and now you
don't-and you are great deal more
likely to don't than see it, All the
Coney Island hotel-keepers are friends of
temperance, and if man should start
at the commencement of the watering
season it would take him till frost comes
to get up any kind of q respectable
drunk on the glasses of lager they serve
out at Coney Island, Neal Dow could
not object to them; Francis Murphy
would not refuse his approval. And
even that stauch old temperance cham
pion John B. Cough, would pass them
by without reproof, not considering
them perilous to public morals. Still
two hundred and fifty-six millions of
dollars is a considerable sum to pay for
such blessing in disguise. Could not
some other way be found in which we
might get out of that amount of money
with equal pleasure and greater proftP l
pause for reply.
had occasion some months ago TO
call attention to one DIR. Monck, who
started business in Brooklyn as spiri-
tual healer The doctor brought his
business to an exceedingly fine point.
10 was not necessary even to see the pa
tient, all that he had to do was to send
a ten-cent pocket handkerchief that had
received his blessing, and in less time
than you can say Jack-much less Rob
inson--the disease, whatever 1t was,
flew away. In the City of Churches, or
as Mr.. Beecher says, "rumshops," lived
one Miss Margaret Wood, spinster,
who was suffering from severe bodily
in the words of the an
cient poet, "misfortmes sore, long time
she bore, physicians were in vain." So
after giving allopath, homeopath, steam
doctors and eclectics q chance, she went
to DR.. Monck, ,--and here let me remark
that the doctors great successes were
among the female persuasion. don't
know whether he helped sister Woods
lumbago and neuralgia or not, but he |
assisted her in getting rid of nearly 49,
900 which she had put by in the savings
bank, and to prove that there was meth
cd in the madness of this profit, he in
vited the lady down to first-class res
taurant to take a lunch; he ordered |
pate de fois gras, Clicquot and
Bass double Y, and after the dinner was
all demolished, excused himself and left |
Miss Woods to pay the bill. 1t took
some time for the spiritual scales to fall
from Miss Woods eyes, but they did
fall at last, and week ago she pulled
the spiritual healer into the courts to
try and get back her money. Monck
insisted that she had not given him the
money but had lent 1t to the Lord. As
He was beyond the reach of civil process
she concluded to go for Monek. When
the prophet saw that dungeon cell was
yawnlng for him he restored part of
his plunder.
Civil service reform seems to be exer-
cising the community just now, the
salutation being, as men pass
zach other, "Are you an offensive par
IisanY' BROADBRIM.
Al