The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1885-08-26
A GROTESQUE DUEL.
How Colonel Skerrett Proved Him.
self to Be a Brave Man.

now OOiOnSl Sk6rr6CG Proved Hin
self TO Be a Brave Man.
Colonel Skerrett, Major Marsh and
Captain Pickering were sitting in their
room at the Hotel Anglais, Paris. They
were Americans on their travels, all
three rough-looking down-Easters, who
had gone through the worst fire of the
civil war. DIR. Vicaire. surgeon in the
French army, was standing in front o.
them. regarding them with severe
air.
Il come TO denounce to You as You
have insult my friend. NJ. lie Lieutenant
Foulon. He demand re satisfaction, Z"
sald DIR. Vicaire. particularly address
ing Colonel Skerrett- ..You have kick
his dog. You write apology. yer goot.
You no write apology, YOU choose
ze-ze-ah! vat you call Parme-ze'
Weapons. said Major Marsh, COM
ing to his assistance. DR.. Vicaire
bowed
Apologize for kicking his darned
curl" shouted the Colonel What
did it come swapping and barking at
my heels for? would kick Mr.. Foo
long himself if he did that
.AhI" replied the Doctor, '.ver goot!
Insult additional and he blew his
nose like flourish of trumpets.
Colonel Skerrett was as brave a man
as ever stood in boots, but besides his
objections to a duel. the
cause of quarrel was SO ludicrous that
he only answered with burst of laugh
ter.
..Ahr' said the Doctor. calmly, but
Insult tree And he
took a prodigious pinch of snuff.
The three friends looked at each
other. Major Marsh took the word.
my friend will allow me to act for
him. We have the choice of weapons?"
Yes"
Then / choose them that nature
provided. Fists?"
..Feestr' said the doctor, bordering.
'.You mean ze-ze-"
Major Marsh explained in panto-
mime.
''Sir!" cried the fiery doctor, ..you
make re game of me! L see you after
my friend have ze satisfaction"
Don't get so hot. now. What do
you say to stuffed clubs in a darkened
room?"
1t took long time to make the doc
tor understand this proposition, but
when he did he rejected 1T with con-
stantly increasing wrath. Captain
z ckering suggested rough-anG-tum-
BILE in pit-kick, scratch, bite. claw
and gouge. Major Marsh thought an
way of settling the difficulty
would be for the two adversaries to 90
into shallow water and see which could
drown the other. Finally, Colonel
Skerrett suggested that tmev should
bring keg of powder on the field; cast
lots; and whichever lost should sit
upon the key and apply the cigar he
had just been smoking TO hole in the
keg. DIR. ficaire tore his hair ana re-
jected one and all.
why" said the Major. lit pears to
me that we haven't got the choice of
weapons at all.
'Of &c weapon, yesi But zis is no
Swords, dagger. peestol, gun
.zey all weapon. But re gouge, re
feest, re clup rempli, or vat you call re
stuff clups-eh, MONSIEUR and the
worthy Doctor stamped with rage.
Doctor" said the Major. quietly,
1.-The last suggestion of Colonel Skier
rett Is one that has been acted on. in
at least one case IN one of the Southern
States of Amer ca. If your fir end wants
nj "A L.
the offer of barrel of powder under
them conditions. If he don't ne is only
foolin' with the matter. People blaze
away at each other here for half an
hour and shoot nothing but the pigs.
When We du thing in tie States we
iu it."
Sir" shrieked Vicaire, with con-
rage. "You coward, YOU
poltroon, seclrati l post you in re cafe,
re hotel. | and my friend whip you
W tn ze-eh,-ze whip of re horser'
and he rushed from the room, swing
ing his hat frantically in one hand and
plucking at b hair with the other.
Left to themselves. the three friends
laughed heartily. As for the doctors
threat of personal chastisement, Major
Marsh alone looked strong enough to
horsewhip the National Guard if il
were called out For the posting in the
cafes they cared exactly nothing. They
chatted and smoked and were BEGIN
ming to forget the whole affair.
But an hour later the writer an
m. le Lieutenant Foulonr'
NJ Foulan advanced into the room.
bowed courteously TO the two, and ad-
dressing Colonel Skerrett, said in per-
feet English:
L have Just seen my friend Vicaire.
Possibly he misunderstood. From
what he told me. understand that you
made propositions which no gentleman
would make. Therefore You are no
gentleman. 1t remains to be seeL if
YOU are a coward as well. / am aware
that your last proposition is mode of
the duello practiced in some parts of
your country. OF that nv friend vi
are was ignorant. Although the
practice il irregular, waive that con
and personally accept your
proposal OF a key of powder under the
sn.1piiied eondifia fou VIII nhliUa