West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-17
BUSTER JOHN CALLS ON HIS
VOCABULARY OF ONERY
NAMES AND DISPLAYS
AN APTITUDE FOR
Stirring UP
THE BOYS.
HAS he BEEN PLAYING THE
FOX OR HAS HE GOT SOME
GOOD FRIEND TO WRITE
HIS LETTER?
HEAR WHAT HE HAS TO SAY
AND DECIDE FOR
YOURSELF.

ud7 oeeu S"bPo lOf ny tne nYgmy
and bogus Mark Twain. Now, be
it known that |. Buster John, OF the
town oil Rowieeburg, the county Of
Prest on, the district of Reno and
the State Of West Virginia, do most
solemnly swear that l have been
grossly assailed by one Mark Twain
better known to the good people o:
this shire ss the ignoIamus sIaudere,
Of the last political campaign, |
depricate the fact that 'forbarence
has ceased to be virtue and that
| have to dip my pen in the slum Of
nastipees to puncture him. Had
Mark inculcated the induction Of
where ignorance is bliss, tbs folly
to be wise,' he would have saved
himself several sleepless nights in
scar ching HE dictionary for vulgar
and splenetic epltheto for the writer
and the humiliation of telling his
friends that he diden't know the
ignorant Buster John was loaded
with tomfoolery and comm on sense.
But 1t sometimes happens that the
pendant who sets himeelf up as a
man Of superior Knowledge and
learning fluids in the low and ignor-
ant his equal. ! want 'Msrk to
keep his own shirt on, for l am GO
ing to pay him back in his corn with
double interest l claim originality
for every thing l write, aud il Bill
Nye' and Mark IVAN want t.
keep up TO the van Of originality
they had better preserve my letters
to shoot at some other ignorant
scribe. This is my third commupi-
cation to the newspapers, aud
would say to my friends, if | have
any, that they must not take this as
q criterion Of what l can do, Now,
| ifMArk has any friends who will take
the psins to sooth his troubled and
decomPossd brain after ! get through
with him, they are at perfect liberty
% embam this map OF uotbingness
10 a skunk shell that his defunct
carcass may so down into eternity
as the last vestige OF creeping rep
TIL that inhabited the banner county
where Repnblcanism wac worshiped
ss the idoiatry Of salvation | will
feel more than doubly repaid if the
better element OF Pleasant Hill and
and Terra Alta, whom he has built
ed over for come time past, will
make it a speciality to tell him that
be stirred up the wronR.horneLs nest
when be poked bis verdsnt pen in
the ink Of annihilation end lmagiu
be was going to crush me with one
stroke Of his slanjerous quill. sm
writing this for the ediGcation Of
the Pisssarr Hill and Terra Alta
people, who may have fallen into
the error Of believing That no man
ia this county had the temerty to
tackle the would-bs lion Of Preston
county soribblers. I pm myseI
on beinR,ihe proud bird tast desos tle
would be lion to pnt salt on the end
Of my tail. Mr.. Twain hzs COMPEL
ed me TO get down into the phraseol-
| ogY Of the gutter, anl 10 show him
that he hss not monopoly Of The
I peculiar words found outside Of the
Bible. ! will address him In the
| penPhrasis Of language the cir
comiocution Of proae that will con.
vince hIm that all The vileness that
drops from The poiut Of bic pen is
nothing when compared TO the ig-
norsuce Of Buster John. Mr.. Twain
Gale me an IDIOT too and 'crsrk1
| / want % teal yoa Marx that a dog
bas nobler qualities then a being Of
that kidd. The vibro 10 deoompos-
ing g. th is highsrin ,b2 scale Of ex-
lstence, The fond bird that def
actes IN its own nest 10 less odious.
The wretch woo educated by pre-
verted instincts revel in nsstinoss be-
not tzecrabis. A thing or being 20
HoyeIing, bypoculioaI, fraudulent
act polluted AZ TO call ms q ( oil and
80 idiot cannot escape jssrs aud
'oeers Of a'i well balanced men, for
tying to perTetrsle slender A..