The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-07-11
NEW YORK REFLECTIONS.
Alex E. Sweet, in Texas siftiDgs.l

S$o>~A 8OaAk AV VVGoS GO1bts JUL uaVG been prevented from doing SO A man from Texas to whom owe seven dollars, is in New York jus, now, and am kept busy hunting for him all over town so l can pay him his money. Instead of go- ing up the Hudson, I'll jus, give you a few little items that have picked up in my vain search for the man want to pay that money to
 A few days ago bought an ivory han dled cane at an establishment on Broad way, but shortly afterwards l took the cane back and said to the proprietor: "When you sold me this cane you war ranted the handle to be genuine ivory. have had it examined and it is not gen utne. ! want my money back" If the ivory is not genuine it is not my fault import the ivory myself di- rect from Africa" replied the genial pro- prietor.
 "How do you account for it being im- itation7 P
 q can't explaia. except that perhaps civiliz alton has 90 far advanced in Africa, that the elephants have taken to wearing false tusks."
 Not loag since young ma1 who had been civil service reformed out of his po- sitior in the New York custom house. met the gentleman who had been appointed to take the place oF the party of the first part, who had voted for Blaine, and was therefore an offensive partisan.
 "Aint yoa going to pass around any cigars" asked the man who had just been removed.
 "I haven't got any," replied the new incumbent.
 "When l was in the custom house I always had plenty of good cigars for my friends"
 "Yes, and that's one of the reasons you ain't in the custom house now" was the reply of the new man.
 When the Typographical Union was in session recently in New York, ball was given to the visiting printers.
 The evening after the ball one of the printers remarked the dejected appear ance ot brother printer. The melan- choly printer sighed and said:
 Last night 1 tried to press the hand of young lady, but made a mistake in the crowd and got hold of her aunt's hand and squeezed it. and she got very angry"
 "You need not be surprised at that. Yeu know how often it happens that the press doesn't work we'll"
 The kuickerbockers and the Manhat- tans, two wealthy New York families who live On Madison avenue, are no longer on friendly terms. They do not speak, al- though at one time tbey were very warm friends. Mrs. Knickerbocker has daughter, a grown-up young lady, who abuses everybody. She has vile tongue The last time the two ladies met, the fol- lowing conversation took place:
 Good morning, Mrs. Knickerbocker, how are you and your folks coming on ?' asked Mrs Manhattan.
 am feeling very well, but my daugh. ter is not well. She must have been poisoned, and yet as far as l know she did not eat anything that might be pois- onous. That is what makes the case SO strange"
 Perhaps she bit her own tongue" sug- gested Mrs. Manhattan, thinking of Miss | vile tongue.
 Mrs Manhattan did not finger long in | the Knickerbocker mansion after that In fact, Mrs. Knickerbocker urged her to go. There is a great deal of jealousy among these old families in New York,
 Not long since, in a conversation with a New York gentleman, whose acquain- iance have made, took occasion to sb- serve:
 aotice you have great maay fish de alers in this town"
 "Yes there are more fish sold in New York than in any other town in the United States. All the fisd dealers get rich in a lew years and retire from business" re- piled the New Yorker, who is a married nan.
 "What is the cause of it ?"
 don't mind telling you, as you are a tranger, but you must not give it away while you arc here."
 "I'n not say anything about it."
 The reason so many fish are sold aere is because the women talk SO much"
 A young New York widow, who moves lbout great deal in society, was lately 'isited ly young gentleman.
 Is that your deceased husbands DOT rait?' asked the visitor, pointing to the picture of an elderly gentleman on the vall
 "Yes, sir," replied the widow, de- nurely.
 How blissfully happy, and what a ieaven on earth must have been his life 'elew :" exclaimed the young man, rap urously.
 "Ah, yes P said the widow; |" but we iivided the thing up so that when he be- ;ame blisstul in heaven, became happy ,n earth"
 l have heard it rumored that your en- .agement with Miss Comunipaw is brok- n off," said Gus de Snobberly to his riend Van Slyck van Dusenberry.
 Aw, ya-as," replied the party ad. iressed :" we meet as strangers now"
 "What is the cause of the estrange- nent r
 "Why, don't chew know2 Her father g a pirate"
 "A pirate2"
 ~Aw, ya-as."
 Nonsense"
 "Why, aw, ya-as. He is a wegular
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