davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
A WISE JUDGE.
An Old Fellow Who Would Not Cut His
Hair. Hut Whose Hair is Cut.

An old fellow with long hair ard
whiskers, was brought into court. He
had been arrested on charge of as
saiflt with intent TO Kill, and the grand
jury had found an Indictment against
him. just rs he was about to speak,
the Judge said:
"Old man, youneed not explain your
self. / think that know all about you.
Something more than twenty years ago
YOU swore in the presence OF your
neirhbors that YOU would neither shave
nor have your hair cut until another
democratic president should be elect
ed"
That's a TACT, Judge" the old fellow
replied.
UNABLE to get the returns fast
enough in the country you came to
town. When it became a settled fact
that Cleveland was elected YOU started
toward barber shop, but felt so much
elated that you decided to stop and
take a drink with friend before part
ing with your ambrosial locks. y
''Jedge, you air a smart man, furyou
air Stain facts.
after taking one drink you wanted
another and after taking another You
began to drink q little something
Words grew warm, and you took some
thing to drink After awhile, before
you hardly knew it, you got into g
fight. Then there came a season of oh
livion and then, you awOke in Jail: Am
right"
Yes jedge.'
Il thought so. My friend, am glad
to meet you. have heard Of You ever
since | was a boy; and my father, when
he was a boy often saw YOU
"Jedge, | amt that old.
.'Oh, YES, YOU are You are as old
as this republic. You are a nightmare
that has been lowering over its institu-
tons, YOU have done much to rctard
the growth Of intelligence, not on ac-
count Of your politics, but on account
OF your hair Gentlemen turning to
the lawyers. lit is useless for YOU to go
into a trial of this case This is the
man have been wanting ever since [
took my seat on the bench. and would
not be doing myself justice if | were to
allow you to attempt 10 wrcst him from
my grasp. Gentlemen of the jury,
without leaving the box, render YER
dict of guilty"
The verdict was rendered, and the
Judge continued:
NOW, sir, | sentence you to be
shaved and to wear a coat of white
paint on your head.
''Your honor, said a lawyer, 'thc
legislature has never provided such
punishment.
mo, sir. The legislature has never
done anything. Ii we were to let the
legislature have its way the state
would Don 20 splashing through the
mud with its breeches rolled up like
boy at early morn in sweet scented
June Never mind giving me advice.
l shall frame the law which have just
announced, and if the legislature don't
like It, why let the gentlemen repeal
it, Mr. Sheriff, shave ths gentleman
and paint his head. -IrttHSaw IfaD-
tlcF.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
Deciding on a Disease by Ballot.

~ = - -
we were about three miles from Nat
che,l' Wneh We heard q great shouting
ana Walilng IN 2 negro ; eaoln by the
roadside ana IL was declued to as
mount ana go IN IL was tumble
down STRUCTURE with but single room,
ana INTO TINS We're crowded sixteen or
eighteen eoiorea people mostly oil the
male seN. I'm % neap OF straw on the
clay Moor was a SICK woman. She was
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
WOLFS COMET.


VOLTS comet discovered in Ger
many, few weeks ago, now q
telescope object near the zenith
in the evening is shown to have
been au elliptic orbit, and to make
complete revolution once every six
years I'll, therefore, CIV member
of the Jup'tol group of comets, q group
which reach out from the SIM about rs
far Juptgr's orbit. at their greatest
d.-''nec. and then approach much
nearer
iure Is a distinct relation existing
between the time of body revolution
and It's distance, This was discovered
by kcpler and is thus stated: The
squares Of the times Of revolution of
planets or comets are proportional 10
the cubes OF their mean distances from
the sun. Now. Jupiter, moves in au
orbit nearly circular, and requires
about twelve years to go around. The
comet moves in llattc0ed tllipse, un3
needs siNYcar~ Tile times of revolt
ton are then aS'onc to two. If we app
ply keplcr's law We win have as one
square Is to two squares, SO is the cube
fthe comets distance 10 the cube of
Jupiter distance Thi, makes Jupi-
ter IS mean distance about one and q
half that of The comets But tine sun
lies I0 ..o center Of Jupiter orbit, and
near ono end az the comet, s, hence we
see that the orbits are not very far dis
tant from each other. at the outer end
OF thc comets path. There are eight
ar tom OBJ how -1Fnaf. ,f (which fi4a SOM,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
\ Missouri NIethuselah.

Macon county, Missouri, can boast OF
n man who was Is years old when Sir
Moses Montciiorc was born-and has
not been given q celebration either.
His name is Robert Gibson lie lives
with his son. two miles soulheas. OF
College Mound. and is described as
rather small OF size, can get about
the house and go out in the yard, sit at
the table and olt without help He
WAS not soldier in the war OF 1872
being too old TO perform military duty
at Chat time. lie drank a good deal of
whisky 10 his early days, bat finding
that the hlhit was growing on him,
abandoned IT, and has been teetotaler
ever since He has chcwcd tobacco for
sixty years. and docs not hink it
hurt, HIM He does not know
when he was born, a, the family record
was lost long ago; but. putting this
and that together. ii is made out that
ne first saw the light To the wear 1906.
in Randolph county, North Carolina.
moved with his father TO kentucky at
am early day and came from that State
to Missouri, IN 1882 He has been mar.
ricd twice. and has sixteen children.
twelve Of whom are living. He has
$50 direct descendants. children. graud-
children, and great-graudchjldrep. st.
L9lUs Hrpt'ii.H
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05

In 1850. coal mines Of Insecurity
p'2Gugcd li.oo1)'Q tons. now 5000
ts.A tpof 5aa8gIX
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05

Overcoats, blankets, '.shawls and
all winter goods will be sold at
prices that cannot be beaten.
Gundry, Gray 81 Co.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05

WoMEN's, misses and children's
button and lace calf shoes Away
Down, at j. =. e Sons.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05

INCEST line of gloves and mittens
that you ever saw in the city-Gun-
dry, Gray d Co,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05

j. a. Spratler has just received a
choice lot of soc. uncolored Japan
tea.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
County OH GERS.
me Tribune Directory.
PHYSICIANS.
Lame. RIeIdhouse. NJ. ID.

PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON MlfTn, Iowa coun
| ~, Wisconsin Calls attended to day and night
Ofhce at his fathers residence. 5lni3s
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05

For good work go to J. G.. Rem
frey's wagon shop. just below this
City Hall square.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
4. y. MIX, vi. ID.
w. L., TaIlrlan.

physician ARD SURGEON, Mineral Point VIE.
1 ONCE in Graber's block. Night calls answered
at once ONCE hours, II to 70 A. NJ, and to P.
NJ. Saturdays al home all day
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
". ~ Pnlter.on, M. D.
j. III. vivian. ". ID,

nFFICE opposite Pulford's Drug Store, high St.
! lHours from to 10a. m. and to 3 p. In
Office nights 23tf
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05

DuYsICI W AND SURROUNDINGS In Len
| Ahans block, up stairs. first door to left. Resi-
dence 6rst door west from =. Church, Miners
Point. v IS,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
amman SOCIETIES.
CIVIC SOCIETIES.

Sr. PAIfI,S Irishl .....J o. KEEFE. Pastor.
SUNDAY services. High Mass at 1890, a. NJ.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
w. Eastman, VI. ID

,. IA. ' tNfHfIs VI D9
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, Mineral Point, Wis
1 Office IN drug store.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-02-05
sofia water Apparatus for sale

Consisting of boxes and bottles,
all of which will be sold reasonable
Apply to me, Mrs. HANNAH WEBB
Mineral Point, Wis. 5w4
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-09
The c q of Barrios.

The circumstances OF the death
of the dictator Of Guatemala are
thus detailed {:
The village Of Chalchuapa, be
tween sixty and eighty leagues
from Guatemala was strongly
intrenched by 5000 Salyadorians.
Barrios leaving his main army in
the rear, commenced an attack
with artillery on the afternoon of
the list Of April, but darkness fell
before an advance of infantry had
been made. The assault was con-
tInued at daybreak of the 2nd, and
with picked body OF 500 men the
first trenches were taken by 8
CLOCK. The victory was Il bloody
one however. The Guatcmalaus
were loosing heart, when Barrios
cut short an informal council OF
war, leaped on his horse, drew his
sword and cheered his men.
There vas gallant charge past
the first intrenchment, and the
second was taken with a rush. A
strike was made up the wooded
slope for the third, when from the
trees above a volley blazed out,
and the troops were cut down
like grass, When the smoke
llited Barrios was seen sitting on
his horse almost alone. Two OF
the few were a buglcr and DIR.
Fitch, the presidents chief Of
staff, who relatedthe story to your
correspondent. Barrios waved
his sword, and at that instant
there came a SINGLE sharp report
from Il tree and Barrios scream
ing fell from his horse. as he
fell blood gushed from his mouth
and nostrills. The bullet entered
his right shoulder, cutting the
artery IN its diagonal passage.
After the scream he made no
other sonnd. He was dead.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-09
An eminent example of American
Enterprise, Energy and Perse
yerance.
Yerai!ce.


In the hands of Young men this
great system has been so carefully
managed chat 1t has earned Il repu
tatlon second 70 none for conyen:
ence, safety and the Injuries Of
travel. 1t is fast becoming the
popular route for transcontinental
travel, in connection with the
Southern Pacific railroad.
Ithas opened up an almost IN
limited field for pioneer enterprise
in the far West. No other rail
road can carry a man, who is seek
ing his fortune, to golden opportu
mites such rs n open along a
thousand miles of this great sys
tom.
Special freight rates are given ~
miners and immlgrpnts.
For ell the Information YOU de
sire write 20
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-09


me, saying that the lady was sick
and that my services were needed
at once. | got myself into rs
good a shape as possible and call
ed. She was reclining on a
lounge, and after many fears she
told me, apparently with great
reluctance, that she had fallen
down cellar and bruised herself
severely, and she feared broken
some bones. made I'm eXamina-
ton and found a small black and
blue spot on one arm and a small
abrasion ofthe skin Oh one knee.
After prescribing for her and band
aging the arm and knee, She con.
fcssed that her husband had in
flcted these iniaries, and wanted
to knowsifI would testify in court
rs to the nature OF the bruises, and
make them out fully as bad as they
were.
Well I said, with great
dclibcration, that is somewhat I'M
professional, you know. l woul
hardly like to BE- mixed ap in a
divorce proceeding, for it might
iuiure my standing as Il Praciicion-
err. Still, l might testify if com
PEELED to by an order Of tie court,
in a general! way. Of course, /
could do nothing 10 compromise
the honor Of my profession"
"'I will give you an eve 100
if you will drop your profession IL
this matter and think only Of me,
she said rather abruptly, | thought.
"'Of course I said, chat al
ters the case somewhat. | will
testify and make the thing out
tnlly as bad assit is
$50 | left her then with the
understanding that | was to cal
every day for a week; and | did,
T too. l gave her medicine for hel
nerves, and to such people as ]
saw | shook my head gravely and
said she was very low, buo that ]
hoped to pull her through. When
Z, court convened the judge had hel
case ready, and after the Witnesses
had all testified, including myself,
| got the 800. The husband,
/, attorneys devoted thems lives to
the task of showing hat he wa;
not half as rich as we made out,
/, but the divorce was granted, ano
, with it IA biz slice Of alimony and
counsel fees. When the Judge 90.
! his pay, he was in favor OF stay
| ing right there and growing ny
, with the country, but they go
, out a warrant against me ior per
/, jury, and / left for New Mexico.
| Six months after that the .iudg,
came, too. lie hadn't had another
/, case since the divorce, and he GO.
tired of waiting, Since then We
, have hung together. There i:
money in medico-legal partnership
if it Is properly worked"
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-09

NoriCH.-To all WnomIt may concern. No
tc0 IL hereby given warning ali persons FROM
occupying or IN any way trespsssing on tho
prsnlsss held ny me as a %preenptlon right. a
ptrt OF whlch nave boon in actual posses
lmproYed and been in constant possession
OF Al or said land since November II. 1851
SAD ana and presumption right r. known and
dessribed 80 followsto wit. The 6. E. I-4ofE SiI
ssenon %, TOWNSHIP g. s. Range. ~ z and the
hiB - or tho n n. ~ Of section 90. Town
ship, 6, haAth OF RAugs y. Z. wv
IAHSs A. r~oNLIKs0R. Locator.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-09


interview with him and his friends, |
planned out a brilliant line of de
Tense, and spent three bits treat
ing the deputy sheriiIs. The doc
tor reported that the wounded man
seemed to have money, and | re
ported that the prisoner and his
crowd had agreed that if got him
clear | was. to have $3.50. We
went down stairs and took acoupie
at drinks in honor Of ourgood luck,
and then went to bed confident
that we had made a good beginning.
The next morning the doctor was
up some time before me, because
he was Il little anxious about his
patient; as he was leaving the
room he said ;
"Tll be back after a little.
Wait halt an hour or so, and ] will
90 70 breakfast with yon.'
81 got up after a whilc,Fand, as
he had not returned, | sat down
and began mapping ont on paper
the case Of my client. | had Just
got we'll into the business, when |
looked up, and there stood the
doctor.
"'The mans gone!' he gasped,
looking vacantIy around.
Gone where 2 says I.
- Don't Know he sad.
some of the boys say he's dead
and buried, and others say he's
gone to Deadwood. I couldn't
find auy7trace of him or1the gang.
[ saw your client, though
"'Where' bouts Fsays |.
down here, hanging to an
awning
Jeruselem!' says |, and |
, grabbed my hat and walked down
the street. Sure enough, there
was my man hanging dead to an
awning. I felt of his pulse and of
his pockets, bat didn't find any
thing. Everybody had disap-
peared from the town for the time
being, and | went back to our
rooms. We talked the matter
over long and earnestly, and after
we had looked at the thing in all
its bearings we came to the COLI
c%lusion that young men had no
chance in that town and left.
The doctor who had listened at
tentively to everything the Judge
had been saying, here took a big
bite of plug] tobacco and said
"You can't very often tell a town
by appearances. We have found
that out. Places that seem to
held out the feMest inducements
are sometimes the ones that offer
the best chances. When we had
been in TIN Cup three weeks with
out getting sight Of a dollar, we
came pretty near deciding toleave,
and l guess we would, but we were
mighty short, and we have always
made it a point either to leave a
place before we got strapped or
stay until we made something.
In this case we we're strapped, and
there was no use Of thinking OF
making a change in the condition
we were in then.
Gone day not long after this,
d young woman came mo our
office and asked to see the Judge,
lie rose and greeted her i'll his
most majestic way giving her the
spare chair. Then, when they
had passed the time of day, she
looked at me rather sharply, the
jucge trowned, and | got up AND
walked out. 1t seemed as though
she never would go, but finally
saw her "trip away, and l crept
shivering back to the Office. The
Judge was radicnt with smiles.
lie had got a divorce case, and he
believed that he would be able to
work me in as an expert. l listen
e6 70 tbp racitol of the facts will
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-09
Notice Of Stockholders iIceiipg.

Notice is hereby given that the annual
meeting of the stockholders Of the Home
stake Gold Mining Company, of White
Oaks, n. III, win be he d at the office of
the Company in White Oaks, n. NJ. on
Wednesday,, lime 10Th, 4. D. 1885.
at 2 o'clock, p. m, for the purpose of
Cheating IA board Of directors for the ensu.
ing term, and for the transaction Of such
Meeting. ~
THEO. W HEMAN. sec'y.
White Oaks, y. NJ. May >, 's5. 20
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-04-08
MR., NC PHERsoN,s POSITION.

Senator MCPHERSON is said to have been
opposed to the denomination of Postmas-
ter Pearson. The Jersey City Argus
correspondent says:
The first movement in an open revolt
against the un- Democratic acts of the
Administration was made by Senator Nc
Pherson, of the New Jersey, in the
Senate. The Senators, it is understood
on good authority, opposed in executive
session, not only the nomination of Pear
son, but also several others. Other Demo
cratic Senators came to his support in a
manner that ought to make the President
pause and ponder before he commits any
further blunders. In the language of a
Southern Senator, endurance has ceased
10 be virtue, and while Mr.. Cleveland
is President there is at the other end of
Pennsylvania avenue several Democratic
Senators and Congressman who represent
several Democratic States" A we'll
known Congressman, commenting on re-
cent events, said suggestiyely II don't
know Mr. Cleveland's estimate of the
House of Representatives, but I should
Judge that it is not very great. / think
the next House will cause him to enlarge
his views on the subject. frankly con-
fess that he has already made many
enemies in the legislative body that con-
trolls all appropriations for the support
of the Government. By reappointing
Pearson he has insulted not few" Sen.
ator McPherson's action in the Senate
was generally commended ut wilI,n
said Gen. Hardin, of Virginia, 'give him
very enviable national reputation, and
establish him before the country as a
Democratic statesman, true to his con
victions Of duty to the great Democra-
tic party"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-04-08
POISON AT THE FRONT DOOR.

No article entering so generally into
tho food of every family has been found
more villainously adulterated than bak.
ing powder. For the purpose of under
| selling those powders of absolute purity
and wholesomeuess which alone are safe
for use in food, hundreds of dealers are
putting up baking powders with cheap
and adulterated cream of tartar, which
contains lime, earth, etc, adding strength
by the free use Of alum.
These adulterated powders are
Showed" upon the public with the great
est persstency. They are first given
away--left in samples at private residen-
ces, with circulars containing bogus
analyses and certificates, and false repre-
sensations as to their value, etc. This
fact of itselfis sufficient to condemn them
A first.class article will sell on its merits
No manufacturer whose goods arc of
value can afford to give them away, and
none but the cheapest make and most in-
ferior or unmarketable goods require to
be distributed free in order TO get the
public to use them, and this method is
adopted only by parties who have failed
to dispose of their wares through the Or
binary and legitimate channels of trade.
Free samples of articles of food left at
the house should be regarded with sus-
picion. There is no guarantee of their
wholcsomeness, while there is real dan
ger that they contain fatally poisonous
compound. Many instances Of poisoning
from the use of such samples arc re-
corded.
The only safe way is to consign all
such samples immediately to the ash bar
rel, and to turn deaf ear to the state
ments made by their vendors. 1t is not
worth while to trifle with life and health
to the extent of testing every doubtful.
baking powder that comes along. Better
to rely upon an old and reliable brand,
like the Royal, which has by quarter Of
a century's constant use proved its per-
feet wholesomeness and efficiency, or
some other brand that is not so worth
less and cheap that its proprietors can
afford to give it away by the cart-load.
II is in its favor that the Royal Baking
Powder is never given away, sold by
means of lotteries, nor accompanied by
chromos, spoons crockery, or other gifts
except the gifts of absolute purity, whole
someness, full weight, aud superlative
leavenipg power. Its own merits have
been its chief advertisement, and they
have secured for it the constant patron
age of the American people to an extent
beyond the combined sale of all other
baking powders. The Royal Baking
Powder is certified by all the Government
chemists as absolutely pure and perfect.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-04-08
UNJUST CENSURE.

Nearly every Republican paper that we
open contains severe censures upon tho
government for its appointment Of ex-
rebel statesmen and generals to office.
and particularly for the closing of the In
terror Department by Secretary of the
Interior Lamar, out of respect for the
memory of Jacob Thompson, President
Buchanan's Secretary of the Interior, re-
Gently deceased. Such censure is unjust
The Democratic party to-day is in power
by the votes of the solid South, and that
solid South represents the Rebellion. 1t
is Democratic because it believes that
party was more or less in sympathy with
1t, and it hates Republicanism because
that party was its open enemy. Now,
would it be right for the party to go back
on its friends, and object to the men who
gave it power? The party has done
just what it was said it would do if it got
into power-put secessionists to the front.
In fact, 1t is the only thing it could do.
The brains Of the party is in the South,
and the party wants brains, certainly
that is, it wants it at the head of govern
ment.
AS to the respect shown the memory
of Jacob Thompson-that seems lit.
tie like slapping Union men in the face.
but In this "era of good feeling we
must not be too sensitive. We must
forget that Jacob Thompson, when he
went out of Office at the opening of the
rebellion, carried off half million dol
lars or more of the government money,
and that he subsequently spent his time
in Canada concoc.ing schemes to burn
Northern cities, and introduce yellow
fever into Northern ports. Still, If IL
had been told the brave fellows in 81
who took their muskets in their hands,
that in 1885 one of the principal govern
ment departments would be closed on
account Of the death of such a rebel as
Jacob Thompson, they would have thought
the prophecy an absurd one.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-04-08
G.. w. GRANT e SON,
OF TRENTON, N. J.,

Will offer this morning one case Cash
meres, half wool, in all the new Spring
Shades, at DC. per yard cost the manu-
facturer l21c. to make.
Our lines of DRESS GOODS are very
complete, in all the most popular and
standard fabrics, at prices NEVER SO Low
as at present
We have just received another large
invoice of those Celebrated Unlaundried
SHIRTS, at So cts. perfect in fit, make and
finish; they are marvel of cheapness.