davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-11-12
PROMINENT PEOPLE.

SECRETARY BAyARD's inherited deafness
is said to be increasing.
WILLIAM BLACK, the English novelist
makes about $4,000 year from his novels.
DR. NOAH PORTER, who has just resigned
the presidency of Yale college, is in his 74th
year.
PRESIDENT ELIOT, of Harvard university
and the chef in the Parker house restaurant,
Boston, receive each a salary Of $4,000.
THE Earl OF Fife, a young Scotch noble
man, j. the coming literary orator Of his
order. He is very rich and munidcent.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-11-12
Lime a PrsservatIve From RusE.

All steel articles can be perfectly
preserved from rust by putting lump
of freshly burnt lime in the drawer or
case in which they are kept. If things
are to be moved (as gun in its case, for
instance) put the lime in a muslin bag.
This is especially valuable for speci-
mems Of iron when fractured; for in a
moderately dry place the lime will not
want any renewing for many years, as it
is capable Of absorbing large quantity
Of moisture ArsicIes in use should be
placed in box nesslv filed with thor
oughly pulverized Stacked lime. Before
using them rub well witha woolen cloth.
Men make living in New York by
picking up cigar stubs thrown away in
the streets by smokers.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-11-12


A good story is told of the humorist
being thrown, on one occasion, among a
batch of students in country town near
New Haven. He was tramping along
with rusty yellow dog, and entered the
bar-room of hotel for some refresh
ments. A group of the Yale lads
CHANGED to be there on frolic, and i'm
mediately interviewed Billings, whom
they evidently mistook for a farmer.
They inquired with affected interest after
the health of his wife and children, and
Josh, with counterfeit simplicity, gaze
them graphic account Of his family and
farm.
"Of course you belong to the church9"
asked one OF the boys.
Eyes, the Lord be praised, and my
father and grandfather before me-"
Now, l suppose you would not tell a
lie, /" said one Of the students.
mot for the world"
"What will you take for that dogR'
pointing to Josh's cur, which was crouch
ing beneath his chair.
Il won't take twenty dollars for that
dog"
Twenty dollarsl Why, he's not worth
twenty cents =
4 assure you would not take twenty
dollars for him"
Come, my friend, said the student,
who. with his companions was bent on
having some fun with the old man.
''Now, you say you won't tell a lie for
the world. Let me see if you will not
do it for twenty dollars. Il will give
you twenty dollars for your dog"
ssI'll not take it,
You will not2 Herel let me see if
this will not tempt you to lie," added
the student, producing small bag Of
half dollars, which he built up into small
piles on the table. Josh was sitting by
the table, with his hat in his hand, ap-
parently unconcerned. There added
the student, there are twenty dollars,
all in silver; l will give you that for the
animal. Josh quietly raised his hat to
the edge Of the table, and, as quick as
thought, scraped all the money into it
except one half dollar, and then ex-
claimed
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-11-12


Nineteen and half is as much as that
dog is worth; he is your property.
A tremendous shout from his fellow
students clearly showed the would-be
wag that he was completely sold and
that he need not look for sympathy from
that quarter, so he good-naturedly ac-
knowledged himself beaten.
Josh was impatient Of the airs and
graces of the Boston shop girls. went
with him into store in Washington
street one day, and he asked one Of the
maidens if she was the attendant who
had sold him handkerchief the day
before.
81 am the saleslady who served you,
responded the reduced empress in
fringed hair and ringed fingers who pre-
sided at the counter.
"Well," said Josh, & I will take a
dozen more, and as 7 wish to get them
to my washerlady at once will get you
to send them to my carriage around the
corner. Ny coach gentleman cannot get
to the door just now in consequence Of
the cart of the ash gentleman blocking
the way"
It was Josh who originated the phrase
that is now a national expression-"The
business end Of wasp" and when he
said to lady, st is better to be
laughed at for not being married than to
be unable to laugh because you are" it
seems to me he uttered sentence, to
use one of his own expressions, "bulging
out with frst-class wisdom"
Three little points Of interest before !
close Josh did the greater part of his
best work after he was forty years Of age,
and the NesO York Weekly paid him 800
week for column Of "Sayings." and
he wore the long hair that trailed down
his back and flowed over his high coat
collar to conceal an unsightly wen on his
neck. -HoUard Paul, IN Philadelphia
Tizaee.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-11-12

When Rubenstein was over here he
was presented to Josh, and the pianist
was careful to impress the American with
accounts Of the nobility of his ances-
tors. "My family" said he, loftily,
"goes back to the time Of the Crusaders.
Ny researches in this direction enabled
me to discover that one of my ancestors
accompanied the Emperor Barbarossa. !"
Josh smiled, and affecting to beimmense-
ly impressed Immediately remarked:
son the piano, of course"
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-11-12
JOSH BILLINGS.
XleWimlscemses Of the Late HumOrfst
--Specamena OF His Fun.

Uefnimtscemses Of the Late HumOrist
specimens Of His Fun.
was sitting down to lunch one morn
ing at Dclmonico's with literary friend
when there entered gaunt, tall man,
with STOPPING shoulders, slouching
walk, iron-gray hair and pair Of keen,
bright eyes, who deposited himself upon
q chair at the nearest vacant table. NY
friend touched my foot to direct my
attention to the new conner and softly
said ssDo you know who that is2"
no" 'gThat's Josh Billings" he
whispered. sG'll ask him to join ils"
NV friend arose, went to his table,
gfasped his hand AMI in another instant
was introduced to the author of vast
amount of mis- spelled wisdom. "How's
every bone in your body2" said Josh to
my friend. Then, turning to me, he said !:
''Glad to see you, sir. just arrived from
England, eh9 Bring my outlet and
coffee here = he went on, addressing the
waiter, as be inserted his long, lean legs
under the table.
Josh ratified on, telling us strings of
adventures and now and then uttering
quaint, wise thought. One remark I
remember. He was saying that friend
of his had been on spree for fortnight
and that he had whisky head on him.
"What's that2" I asked. sWhy, his
head was soswollen that he had to work
on his hat with shoe-horn
Josh was extremely fond Of animals
and had cat at his house in Albany
which he gravely addressed as evil
liam" suggested that that was dig
nifed name for puss, as cats were usually
called ''Tom'' or "Tip" or a quick, short
cognomen.
But that's speci Il, swell, blue
blooded specimen of the feline race,
wish you to know" rejoined the humor
ist. Recently, poor fellow, he has had
fits, and since then 1 call him Fitz-W Will
liam.'n
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-11-12

| complained to Josh one September
night some years ago, when on this side
of the Atlantic, that the nights were SO
abominably hot couldn't sleep.
''My dear boy" he replied, "you
ought to accustom yourself to these
American alterations of heat and cold.
Summer and winter always sleep with
three quilts. In summer, may remark,
I put them under me-"
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-11-12

Before I left New York 1 called on
Josh Billings with an album and mod
estly solicited his autograph. He took
it on his knees, gave his mouth comical
twist and wrote:
'Thrice is he armed who hath his quarrel
just" THE BARD OF AVON.
"And four times he who gets his blow in
fust.n ]. BILLINGS.
"Mr. Billings" !" Isaid, at parting, 'it's
astonishing how your wise saws and
comical straws float all over Christen-
dom. One can scarcely pick up paper
in any part of the world where the Eng
lish language is spoken but there, in an
odd corner, nestles one of your little
grains Of philosophy. You keep your
self well before the public" His reply
was compact, pertinent and to the point:
''Yes, sir, I keep myself just sufficiently
in the public eye without putting it out. .
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30


only distress tLcm almost beyond Gu
,duruce to know !, and by reflex would
Mistress me. have not changed my
mind .inrr ,,ro,c ,ou before in the
I,,nr drain NM. however. / know
hDi ouin slrruetl some DAYS, bat
,Nhru ,lnuo back il is beyond where
/ IsDrleItoimproye. Think the chanc-
rs'nrc vr,,. drc,Npdly in favor Of your
b,iru ahlS tp keen me- alive until the
chance of weather, towards winter.
OF rnur.p. ihrrc are CONTINGENCIES that
might arise al any time that would car
~ me of very suddenly. The most
nrobablG of these choking, Under the
circumstances. life is moi, worth thp liy-
iur. am very thankful (forthankml.
Glad was writ,pn. but scratched and
| thankful. su5s,i,uted to have been
shared This lone. bccgusn It has cna-
blrd mo to practically complete the
worl; in which u lake so much
interest cop not stir ND strength
to review il and make additions
and subtroctiops that would sug-
mr.t ,brm,rlyo, to me and are NOT like
| IL io ,urrc,t themselves TO any one
else. l'udcr the above circumstances.
will ne manifest the most pain can
avoid. If there is to be any rNiraoui-
nary curr. such rs some people believe
rbrrp i tn hr. il will dcyrlop itself.
would say. therefore. 10 you and your
collraguG. to makcm 4, comfortable
u. ynn can. lfi,is within God.- PROV
idrurr that should 30 noN. / am
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30
The Mourning Dresses.

by T3cgraph to Hc Posi-Dispairk.
NEW YORK, July IS Miss Hughes,
who is connected Nth n" lrcs,making
department of Lord " Taylor, leaves
for Mt. McGrcgor to-day, taking with
her the partly complete mourning
dresses for the ladies of Gen, Grants
family to try on. Miss Hughes and
Mr. +. t.. Es..hbach, the superintendent
of the manufacturing .hit and under
wear department of Lord Il Taylor,vis-
tied Mt. McGrcgor last week and took
the order for the mourning goods want
ed bv that family. The dresses which
hqyc been ordered, besides those from
ano,hag establishment, already dcscrib-
ed are It. ronoNs; For Mrs. t. 5. Grant,
dress of black crepe de vhi"g. made
with entire crepe undcrdre,s another
of silk warp clarettc in five double box
pails of double crepe fans. between long
Grapcry; with pointed waist and collar
and cuil'- Of crepe, and third dress for
the house is oi ,ill warp nun yelling
with entire skirt made Oi naaYy folds
with front plating;long half fitting sack
trimmed heavily with crepe. Mrs Sar-
toris, dress Of silk warp clarcttc,
with skirts made Of wide tucks and
short .rapcrics trimmed with crepe.
The Eaist %i!! haye gush front Of
crepe. The drcs, for Mis- Fred Grant
will also he Of silk warp clarctte. 1t
will be made with skirt laid in cluster
plaits with full drapery, shirred waist
with gusht front. Mrs. Jesse Grant
will also have Il dress of sill, warp clar-
ette, with skirt of wide tucks up to the
waist, paHBiors in surplce tucks laid in
plaits. Five white dTessos plainly
made, with tucks, have been ordered
for Mrs. Jesse Grants little daughter
and black amoire sash to 90 with
them. A black camel's hair coat fol
Mrs. jesse Grants 4-year-old child,anC
an entire black jersey gRit with cap anC
sash to match for Col. Grants j-yGar'
old boy will be taken to Mt. McGrcgor
Mrs. u. S. Grant will have hand
some black bonnet with two heavy veil
and the other two ladies have ordere,
black MULE hats. Among other arti
cles to be sent them from Lord " Tay'
lors are entire crepe fans, black sill
gloves and jewelry of dull jet. Th'
dresses will probably all be completed
by Thursday evening or Friday.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30
The House Grant Was Born in at
Pleasant Point, Ohio.

CrNClNNATI,July 2S.-Michael llersh,
ir,, the present owner Of the house at
Point Pleasant, Ohio, in which General
Grant was born, says he would natural
ly prefer to have the house remain
where Il is, but he is not able to keep
it, if offers come to make it an induce
ment to let the house go elsewhere. He
has had one offer of 1000 from II gen
tlcman from Cincinnati. but would not
consider il. He says he could sell the
house piecomeal for rollcs, and in fact
has sold window catch for 50, AMI Il
good many splinters from the weather
boarding which had to be renewed. He
was careful in repairing to leave the in
terror intact.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30
Father, Mother, and Three Sisters lieaa.

Father, Mother, and Three Sisters lieaa.
Nh David ClayPool, formerly Sergeant
at-Arms oIthe New Jersey Senate, and now
Notary Public at Codaryiile, Cumberland
Co., y. j., makes ihc following startling
statement: only father mother, and three
sisters all died with consumption, and my
lngswere SO weak lruiscd blood. Nobody
thought | could live, My work ship
smithing was very slmning Cnmcvjthnly
weak constitution, and was rapidly going
to the grave. While in this condition |
commenced using Mishltr's Herb liittus,
and it saved my life Because ii was so
difficult to gel it in this little place, and |
had improved so much, stopped taking it
for time, and the result is that | have
commenced going rapidlydovu hill again.
Somehow, MishlcrS Herb Bttcrs gives
appetite and strengthens and builds ne up
as nothing else docs, and | must have u
dozen bottles at once. lse this commu-
nication asyOupieasc, and if any one wants
to be convinced of It's truth, let them write
me and | will make affidavit to it, for ]
owe my life to Mishlcrs Herb Hitters."
Thesecret of the almost inyarable relief
and cure of consumption, dysentery, diar-
rh~a, dyspepsia, indigestion, kidney and
liver complaints, when Misllcr's Herb
Bitters is used, is that it contains simple,
harmless, and yet powerful ingredients,
that act on the blood, kidneys, and liver
and through them strengthens and invigor.
ates the whole system. Purely vegetable
in its composition, prepared ly regular
physician; a standard medicinal prepara'
ton; endorsed by physicians and drug
gists. Thcseare four strong points in iavol
of Mishler's Herb l}itters, Mishler's lIcrl
Bitters is sold by all druggists Price 81. OF
per large bottle. 6 bottles for $500.
Ask your druggist for MIsHIrRs HrRn BITTERs
II he does not keep H. do not ako auything clio hB
send postal carl 20 MiRfiLfR TiEnB BliIlns 10,
ba5 Commerce btfoat, Philadelphia.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30
Grant in st. Louis.


FROM 'a' NJ L'"' L"'.,''''"''" -.
During his school career nj west
Point. Grant gained the friendship of
Fred Dent. ami after they graduated
younr Grant was invited to thc 1T
Loui, home of the Dents, aS u visitor
Here he met Miss Julia Dent. the sister
Of Fred. who took fancy to the Young
Iioulcmau,. Then Fred and hi, friend
went away 10 the McNiran war, and
one day, during an action, Fred fell
with bullet in his gruin and Grant
picked him trudcrly from the field and
carried him to Il place of comior, and
safety. This act. characteristic OF the
| Kind and tender dispo-itiunthat follow
cd the aflcrward grrll man through
| life. formed the cornerstone Of the ru-
nance with which his ,ub,rWpu, ca
rocr was filled. Julia Dtat accepted
| hi. suit and the Young couple were
married in the city home of the Dent.
on August -, lSlS, by Row. j. II. Linn.
The wrldinr i, described by John f..
Darby in hi, rc,co,lrc,i,u. "a, ''a quiet
and uuo~trula,iou. al&.r, at which
there were about 200 persons, the most
rc.prctabIr people of the cily of 81.
Louis" The house in which jhu we'd
dino occurred /, still standing at the
southwest corner of Fourth and Crrrr
streets and is owned by q Mrs Walsh
and occupied by Mrs. Pulrhcr, who
fakes in bonrlcrs. Mr.. and Mr., Grant
lad Il wedding tour, ul course, aui
whrn they returned tu the city they
went To live with the Dent. at the WISH
ton-Wi,h farm out ON the Grayio,.
Hrrr Nellie Grant. now Mrs SuwurIS.
was born. Lieutenant Grant Wus ai
that time cnioying m cNlrnird fur
lough. which came to an end in lsJ2,
when he WAS assigned To u post ont in
OREGON Territory, whjlhrr he took his
wife and children. Life on the frontier
NuSa li,llr TOO lonesome for Mrs. .Graul,
and the Lieutenant. too seems to hay,
thuuht il irk,Omr: hr resigned li,
army commission in l~5i aud with hi,
family came back to ST., Louis. Til,
Dent farm wa, their home for a whiit
: again. and during their stay here til,
ir,-iiyuiruaul ,,lpuldNoui tu town
\ leans pants, gray wooden ,hul, raw
hide boots. ,Iouch hat, black snak,
vhip, an Il untrimmrd beard were thD
chief attributes Of his aupraruncr. and
Mr.. Darby adds: "Whrn Grant. in hi,
= davs of humiliatinr poverty and mmbh
, Efs y-ol tn drive his Door old raw
boucd two-hor,r team lul ruurth sucT
! with his miserable p6st-oak load o
: wuol ON his wauon. the animals tha
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30
Grant Writes of his Prospect of
Death.

Mt. McGREGoR, N. Y, July 25.-
While in conversation to-day with the
correspondent of the Associated Press,
Dr. Douglas very kindly read to thewri-
ter the following remarkable document,
which was written by Gen. Grant, in
DIR, Douglas presence, on Thursday,
July 2:
81 ask you not to show this TO any
one, unless the physicians you consult
with, until ihp end. Particularly |
want it kept from my family. If known
to one man the papers will get y, and
they (the family)will get it. 1t woul9
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30

Z. S. BRowNE, of Linn county,wrltes
renewing and adds;
Don't you think this would be good
time for Greenbackers TO throw on the
hot shot? | hope that every one who
loves liberty and his country, will en-
list to keep the ball moving.
These kind of times are making new
recruits pretty fast. To my certain
knowledge the smoking ont process
has convinced men of both the old par
ties (who were as blind as bats two
years ago) that there is no difference
between Cleveland and Arthur, (linan'
cially) and that there is something
wonderfully wrong.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30

Clarence Widcncr Defendant
Now comes the plaintiff by attorney, in vaca.
tiun, and illrS her petition and affidavit, stat.
ing, amung other things, that the defendant Is
q nonresident uf the State of Missouri, so thai
the ordinary prucrSS Of law cannot be- served
upon him, Il Is therefore ordered ny the clerk
lh vacation, that defendant he notified by pub
liralinn that the plaintiff has commenced u suit
iu this court against him. the object aud gcncr
nj nature ul which Is IN obtain "a decree Of di
yuirr from the hundS ui nratrmuny contracted
between the plainiin and defendant, on tho
ground Oi abandonment, aud unless he appear
IN the first day Ol the next term thereof, TO bt
begun and held ut the court house, In the city
Ol Nh!llcOlhc, Missouri, on the It'll Monday, Il
being the 2slh day, Ui September, lsS5, and NJ
or before the 9th day thereof. answer or 9th err
wise plead to plaintiffs petition, the same vii
be taken Us confessed and judgment rendered
accordingly
II is further ordered that copy hereof ht
published according t0 law in the CInIIICoTIu
CRISIS, II newspaper published weekly in Chill
liCu'hc, said county and state.
~'~ a true copy,
SEAL Attest, .......
W. r. MUNRO, Clerk,
\, NJ. SHELTON, DC. 4S
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30
Order Of Publication.


Robert J. Rutherford, Defendant.
Now comes The pmmlif by attorney in vaca
llon ana llcS her petition and affidavit, stating
among other things, that the defendant is 1
nonresident Ol he state OF Missouri, so thai
the Ordlnary process vi law cannot be sGrvet
upoN hiun u is therefore ordered by the clert
In vacation, that the defendant be notified by
publication that the plaintiil has commenced /
suit In this court against him, the object ant
general nature ul which is tu obtain decree o.
divorce from the bonds NJ matrimOny contract
rd between the plaintin and defendant on tn,
ground vi abandonment, and unless he appear
on the first day vi the next term thereof, to b,
begun aud held at the court house, In the cit,
Ol ChlllicOthe, Missouri M the lh Monday, 1
being the gSth day Of September, 1885, and OF
or before the Oh day thereof. answer or other
wise plead to plaintiffs pctit!nn. the same vii
accordingly "''
1t further ordered that copy hereof b,
published, according to law, In the CuIILI
COrHE CRlsls, u newspaper published weekly
In ChilcOlhe said county and State.
- A true capy
sGALS AllGsNw p M1xpo co,.
A. NJ. SHELTON, DC. Y
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30
$4,000 Reward.

EDToR CHICAGO EXpREss:--l. Twill
pay one hundred dollars to any person
who will give good and valid reason
why the government was obliged to eN-
change its interest bearing bonds for
non-interest bearing legal tenders, and
notes of its own issue.
2 As the government alone has au-
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30

Stripped of all its hounces, fringes
and fnrbel0ws the real naked issue is
shall there be less money and loWer pri-
ces, or more money and higher prices?
Shylock demands the former. that his
interest income may be more valuable,
while industry demands the latter, that
It's products may be more valuable.
Which is best for the whole people and
which policy shall prevailP-- Chicago
Express.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30
The Family Have Decided Upon a
Military Funeral

WA,uNGroN. u. C., July %. The
letter Of President Cleveland to Mrs.
Grant and Of which Adiutaut General
Drum WAS the bearer, is here rcproduc-
ed:
EXECUTIVE MANSION. WASHINGTON,
D. c., July -, lSN5: My DEAR MAD
AN Ohcying the dictates Of my per-
sonal feelings, and in accord with what
| am sure is the universal. sentiment Of
/ his frllow-couutrymcn toward your late
| husband,l am solicitor, that every trib.
butte Of respect and affection should be
duly rendered, and with constant con-
/ ,idcration Of your personal nt>hc- or
| tine subject, Adjutaul General Richard
. c. Drum, j., charged with the delivery
Of lhi, note. and will receive and con.
y"y to me any iufornatiou.o the wish.
g, of Yourself aud Your children in re-
,prct to tine selection ut the place o
burial, the conduct OF tine funeral cvrr
monies. and the part which may be
borne by those charged with the admin
i,tra,iOn Of the Government. VIII
sincere confidence, your friend anD
servant,
GROVER CLEVELAND.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30

IuG laul gets no rest. II as being
worked for all there /, in it. The far
mU, are compelled to take care OF to-
day. rcGlrJlc,, of what may como up
Tomorrow The land isno, kept up,
The virgin soil Is hcmg rarjdIyo>hau,t-
ed. We wili leave TO the ncN, genera
timu m Impoverished land and, at the
present udc, In a few generations this
country viii be abandoned to the owls
as sterile spot Countries which
once nowoI with milh.a and honey have
been abandoned by the human race
from the same cause.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-30

we think there is work for Linn
county GrcGnback"rs. While sitting at
hotel at Laclcde the other morning,we
heard three apparently intelligent gen
tlemcn-and they did possess general
intelligence -conversng. One was tell
ing about losing $3.50 by the failure of
a state bank short time ago. One of
the others remarked that If he hRd been
dealing with national bank he would
have lost nothing, ms they deposited
bonds as security, and, addressing the
third man, who was the landlord and
had taken one or more old party daily
papers for perhaps twenty years, asked
him if that was not sD. The veteran
reader of old party papers remarked
that 1t was. The unfortunate gentle
man chimed in pensively, "Yes,
guess that's So"