The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-09-17
THE DECEASED WIFE'S SIS
TER BILL.

THE DECEASED WIFE'S SIS
TER BILL.
1t was one bitterly cold March af-
ternoon, when half q dozen officers
were gathered together in the ante
room, over which the dusk of the
cleaning was fast stealing, with only
the freight to dispel it. Bootles was
sitting half asleep in big chair, when
the sound of voice reused him from
his melancholy meditations.
"Yes, he's good fellow" the voice
said; "but he's such fool-such an
awful fool, you know"
They were at Lucy again, so Bootles
cast his meditations to the winds and
flung himself into the fray.
80 you always say-so everybody
says" he responded, coolly. so, by
Jove! does poor old Lucy himself say
likewise. But, all the same, it s simply a
mistake. Lucy is as clever as dayli ght
down at the bottom of all that put-on
drawing foolishness of his. You fell
lows see no further than the expression
of intense stupidity which is Lucy's
habtual form. You seem to think
that because he can't or won't, use an
r. without w in front of it that
he is not capable of seeing as far
through deal board as any other fell
low. But it's just the very greatest
mistake in the world. Old Lucy is
not such a fool as he looks, by long
way"
You're quite right, Bootles; he
most decidedly is not" laughed an
other man from the depths of huge
sofa. Lucy is no fool-far from it;
but you'll admit that to be as big a
fool as he looks he would have to be a
big fool indeed. Bythe-by, what was
that joke at the Deanery on Sunday
afternoon? You were close to hlm all
the time. and l was pinned in the in
her drawing-room.
Bootles began to laugh Immediately.
We'll, you know that some of the
Bishops people were at the afternoon
service at the Cathedral, and went in
to the Deanery afterwards"
yes" cried several voices.
LAS soon as Lucy put his nose inside
the room, he was promptly taken pos
session of by the eldest Miss Jones,
and as promptly tackled on the De
ceased Wife's Sister Bill
"What do you think of the Deceas-
ed Wife's Sister Bill, Mr.. Lucy?" Miss
Jones asked, with an engaging smile.
She's awfully like the Bishop, is Miss
Jones'"
Just shows her teeth in the same
way" laughed Hartog. "Well, go
onr' s.
"Wen, she certainly is not hand
some" Bootles admitted, '.nor yet
very young, but really she gave poor
old Lucy such killing look out of the
corners of her eyes that really began
to think she would hook him on the
spot.
Lucy looked up, with his head on
one side, and with his most reflective
air of wisdom, just us if he were a
monkey blessed with an extra quantity
of downright stupidity and cunning
mingled, and she was a harder nut to
crack than had ever crossed his path
before.
..In which he wasn't very far out OF
it." put in Harkness, with dry laugh.
well, and what thenP'
..He looked at her for full half q
minute" Bootles went on, land then
he asked, in the most plaintive man
ner imaginable, is it a wriddle? |
nevah could CESS a wriddle in all my
life. I'll give it up, please. "
."A riddle!' echoed the Bishops
daughter, scornfuliy; of course not,
Mr.. Lucy; it's a measure which they
are trying to pass through Parliament.
But they won't-the BENCH speak
ing in a great, big, capital-letter style
of importauce-'the BENCH will new
er allow it
Lucy looked politely Interested.
ga measure-de-ah me! you
don't say so, Miss Jones! And-er
how much does it measure?'
"It's a Bs!l they are trying to get
through the House-the Upper House!
She began to get little cross over 1t
and. by-the-by, you fellows All know
what Miss Jones is when shH's cross,
in an aside.
"Yes, rather" answered a voice,
amidst general laugh.
Bootles continued his story
".Oh, a Billr returned Lucy very
politely, and with a great show of sur
prise. i-cr- thought you said it was
a measured And how much-er-is
the bill for, Miss Jones?'
Miss Jones uttered an exclamation
of impatience and despair. It's an
ACIn She fairly hurled the word at
him; but Lucy's serenity remained alb
solutely unruf1led.
"'Oh, wreallyn he echoed. An
Act, is it? And does Nelly Farwren
play in it?'"
4 roar of laughter greeted this, and
when it had subsidized Bootles contin-
ued his story
"She couldn't very well tell him to
his face that he was the fool she
thought him, and she hadn't wit
enough to see that he was merely
chatting her. So she patiently explain
ed the whole matter to him, just as
she might have done to g child of
| three-what Parliament is, what the
House is, what the BENCH is, and
how it practically rules the roost in the
| Upper House; what an Act is, and,
finally, what is the Deceased Wife S
Sister Bill.
land now,' she ended, triumphant
| ly, what do you think of it, Mr. Lucy?
Lucy stroked his mustache, care
fully balanced his teaspoon on the
edge of his cup, looked with his wise,
reflective air at the Bishops daughter,
and said, i don't know.
but she persisted, do you think
a man ought to be allowed to marry