Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-13
BRIGHT BITS.

An ORTHODOX PBOHlBITroNIsT takes on his
nat when watering cart passes him on the
s.reet.-Aeto York douradI.
THERE is said to be one lawyer in heaven.
He must be there as his own counsel to argue
stay OF proceedings.-St Pau Herald.
An OIL CITIzES, Just from a fishing tour
with two bass, says he can sing double bass
with any fish Tyre OF them al.-OH CITY
Blissard.
STANLEY says that sunshine in Africa looks
ike moonlight. That's about the way II looks
right here at home 10 the Board of Trade man
VINO gets on the wrong side of the fence in a
big grain deal.-Chiclg0 Ledger.
OUT in Cincinnati the restaurant keepers
have powder that they sprinkle over small
oysters, causing them to swell When this
sche a gels east the church sOclable commit
tee VIII only have 10 procure an oyster OF
children's size.-Boston Globe.
A GOOD story is told Of an aged clergyman,
who met a man loudly declaiming aga INST for
elgn missions, "N hy," said the director,
doesn't the church oOk after the heather at
homeP 1--WE do" SAID the clergyman, quiet
", and gave the man tract.-HGrttoro
Times.
DON'T you think war between England
and Russia would cause rise in bread as
well as Wheat?" asked newly married wOm-
an, who makes her own bread, of her hubby.
II hope that something Will occur which will
cause a rise in your bread-it is terribly
heavy" said her hubby.-Stoe1ton Nerrlck.
In CHARLESTON, S. G., four letters were de-
liVered under the special delivery system on
the first day of its operation. The carriers
received Sc. for each letter delivered and PAID
lOc. car fare. At this rate they viii accumu-
late wealth quite as rapidly as the man who
buys tickets IN lottery.-N OTriStoaon Herald.
II WENT CUNNING the other day." said
Nimrod, 'and as true as am standing here
killed twelve crows with one shot" ''You
ought to be a politician" SAID his friend dryly.
Excuse me, sir: do you insnuate that / am
a natural born hary', by no means; only
death on cawcusses. Bling Gnat0R Repu6Ji-
can.
ST. LOUIS YOUNG LADY, called on Mrs.
5. this afternoon, mamma, and what do you
think ! saw on her new ebony parlOr table?
MOther-I have no idea. st. Louis Young
Lady volume of Shakespeare's paradise
LOST" bound IN dark blue. Think of it!
Dark blue against an ebony background
Ne1o York Times.
SHARP Boy TO FATHER-"Pa, there's some
thing wrong with the man you hired to chop
the wood"
Boy-"Bccanse he chopped it short enough"
Father-"C Ome. sir. what did | tell you
about showing a proper respect for the truth?
Chopped II short enough! ImpossbleH'-
ArkaAsdto TrageIer.
HANS Jour,aL of Health saws ''intense thirst
Is satiated 10y wading in water" Here Is an
idea theatrical managers should Immediately
act upon. Let them provide pool OF water
in their respective houses of amusement for
the benefit OF young men whose intense thirst
drives them ont between acts. Managers
should spare no expense to cater to the wants
of their patrons. -Yorrist0ton Herald.
'Do YOU SUPERB said she, as she bent
tenderly over Inn.
No - " replied the dying man.
Tell me what you see?"
"Hosts-ot -little--white- angels-oh-so-
beautiful
do you want anything, dearest grandpa?"
"Only-rest. And-yet-l-Would--i
know whether-the- angels haYe-got--
the--scOre- right 3--to-O-i in favOr-of-
-the-ChicagOs.-I Bits.
YouNe DuDENTHABER twhose brother-in-
law has just Gaiod) oh, yesh, Moses he
dakes on dreadful. He walked de door all
night. Hes shust grazy-berfectly CRAZY"
Good -natured Merchant-"Tel him not TO
troubls himself so much. Such things will
happen Let himlGall a meeting OF his cred-
TORS offer %. per cent. cash, and III use my
personal influence to have II accepted"
Young Dudenthaler-'F efety per shenti
Fefety per shent! Ven, Nose vas feelin' pretty
bad, but he wasn't so crazy as all dot."-TAe
Handler. ~ miA ttt'c
.YEARNtS6.- le 71'
When al the world is dark and drear,
Whatisit stands, like faith, apart,
And fingers with sweet counsel near
WHAT'S " but n loyal heart?
seek not wealth--I ask not pow'r-
Nor know J flames ineatiate greed;
In this black agonlzing hour,
The boon | crave 10 small, indeed.
A little haart-a tiny heart
Ia an my fainting soul demSuds;
But strong enough to rend apart
These cruel, threat'ntng, hostile hands.
Az such modest boon would thrill
NV bosom with wild delight
For Oh / need a heart TO IN
Tie bobtail flush / held tonight.
~