Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-05-23
HAMLET AND rHE AIssTRELs.

w
Bang up, first class; but Ia like to
zee him Ia somethnl' else.
Don't you like Hamlet 2"
ssOh, yes, it's fair kind o. play; but
every niger minstrel troupe that comes
along has somethin' to say about cit
thee 10 a nunnery.' and sfraiIty is the
soul Of wit, and sstiil harpin' on my
daughter, and 'brevity, thy name Il
woman, and ell those old chestnuts.
Why don't he git hold on some play
that's got originality in it. "-SGn Fran
cisco Lngleside.
WANTED TO SIZE HOW n WORKED.
A city-bred young man, just out Of
college, hired out to Vermont farmer.
TO ssbrace mp his constitution little. .
Part OF his daily duty was to feed the
cattle. One day his employer noticed
that he was reading an agricultural pa
per very intently, but thought nothing
more Of il until he saw the embryo
farmer making for the stalls where the
calves were kept, with q large bucket Of
garden loan.
hello, what's that for ?" asked the
farmer.
"Why, " said the young man, 81 read
In the paper yesterday that calves
ought 10 have little ground feed daily,
and thought I'd try il and see how il
worked. ~ Burlington Free Press.
NO MONEY IN n.
An Austin dude has been owing Col.
Yerger $40 for long time, 80 the other
day he dropped the forgetful man note
requesting him to settle. Next day
Col. YergeF received q letter from the
careless debtor.
'"There is no money in it" said Col.
Yerger, as soon as he looked at the ad
dress.
chow do you know 2" asked friend.
because it is addressed TO Gen.
Yerger instead Of being addressed to
Col Yerger, that means he takes it out
IN politeness." On the letter being
opened no money was found in it,
1eras Sifttngs.
BENEFIT OF A classical I'D UcATToN.
Captain, " said grocery keeper, adj
dressing a well-known gentleman, s'do
you remember that sack Of -four you
bought some time ago p
''Oh, yes; remember IL
81 suppose 50, but don't remember
that you ever paid for IL.
''My dear sir, am not responsible
for your bad memory. / have remem-
be1ed my part Of IL. Memory is q PEI
culiar faculty, and Is susceptible Of
great cultivation. Some Of the Grecians
could repeat volumes Of poetry. Well,
good morning. "--.Arknnsds Traveller.
BAD AS THE PLUMBER.
A Dansville man left an old watch at
. jewelers. TO be repaired, and few
weeks later he called for il and asked
what the charges were.
1.-TWO dollars and a half" replied the
tinker.
ibid you say two dollars and q
half2"
eyes, sir; twenty shilIings."
swell" replied the customer, 'syou
can take the watch toward it, for part
paw, and when get some change I'll
come in and pay the balance. "-Da'ss-
Uilte Courier.
HE WAS AFRAID.
Said . prominent business man: 81
am very much concerned about q friend
Of mine. He rushed into my store the
other evening and asked the loan Of 81;
said he must have it and that he would
return il after supper on his honor as q
gentleman.
ssWhy are you troubled, because you
haven't got your money ?"
"Oh, no: because I'm afraid the poor
fellow hasn't got his supper yet. He
must be starving to death. ~ Chicago
Tribune.
UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.
'sSee, here, said an angry citizen to q
quack doctor, sthak wonderful discoy-
cry OF yours for preserving the scalp il
fraud"
"Why SO ?"
look ct that, /" he went on, removing
his hat, .'since using it have lost all
my hair.
"Oh, il doesn't pretend to preserve
the hair. replied the doctor, ssonly the
scalp. You've got your scalp left. You
mustn't expect too much Of medical
science. ~ Y Times.
IAIR EXCHANGES.
He writes:
Last night left my heart with you,
A captive to your winning grace;
AS Won have one that's kind and true.
Pray send me yours 70 take its place.
she answers:
Il Won have left your heart with me,
l cannot say that regret il;
And IS for minc-well, LEI me see -
Call round yourself tonight and get i
--BoS1sh Courier.
NEW NAME ron THE RINK.
Small Boy Go his father, who is op
posed to roller skating 80 They ain't
going to call the rink around the corner
sIhe Eureka any more.
Father without any emotion -'sW What
are they going 70 call it,"
Small Boy They're going 70 call i
She Niagara during the summer.
Father Well. my son, what are
they going 70 call il the Niagara for ~
Small Boy with much enthusiasm
s'Cause the people can 90 to zee the
Ealla
EuHER WAY IT u All RIGHT.
England. bristling Say, look here,
Russia, what did ron attack the Al
ahans Tor
Russia Because / felt Ike il, thaff
why.
Tewlor.sa ssf1t, ~-.aa k,,.&ss IN ~s%vht