The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-09-26
HI OROI -.


| Handy We infer that Buddha's is
sweet tooth.-Macon (Ga.) Telegraph
and Messenger.
''WHAT time viii you come home to-
night my dear !" asked Mrs. Col.
Percy Yerger OF her husband, when he
was going downtown 70 attend the
meeting of the vestry. Whenever |
get ready" answered the husband,
| Grossly. "Oh, well, don't come any
later, please"
''SoNE OF you little sinners are sit
ting around here waiting for salvation
to strike you as it did St. Paul, said
Rev. Sam Jones, recently to youth
ful audience OF sinners. God adjusts
his ammunition to the size OF the man
he IS after. Mustard seed shot will do
for you"
A WRITER in the PittS0urg Telegraph
says: But | do not stop at beer
/ wagons" 1t Is not surprising. The
beverage is not sold by the glass from
beer wagons. Ii he wants to aStonish
his readers. let him announce. But
do not stop at beer saloons" But,
OF course, he cannot tell he.-NOrriS-
/ town Herald
y t'Hs-> A4-E--sA-AN NA4O~C AslAtAAtN NoAAStNNS
OF a wife and twin girl babies came in
very late one night and went to bed.
His sleep was broken, and he tossed
and tumbled and muttered something
about ''two OF a kind" and ''small
pair" ''Poor john" murmured his
wife; ''he IS tired and Is dreaming of
the children"
THE disposition Of children not to
allow other children to get ahead of
/ them is once more illustrated in two
/ Record families, as follows: 'Ive got
| a silver dollar" I've got two"
You haven't got a baby in your
/ house "Ges, we have; we've got
twins" "Wen you haven't GOT Il
/ crazy grandfather; | have"
! TDIKINs (energetically) sir; |
/ maintain that no man should use vio-
lent language before a lady. Winks-
! Suppose there is great provocation?
! That makes no difference" Come,
| now: last Saturday heard you swear
/ ing in a street car while a lady sat be-
side you" "A lady? Nothing OF the
/ kind-that was my wife. .''-Philadei-
! phia Call.
! SNOoEs-Yes, sir; I believe in giving
my children the best education money
| can buy. My father never spared no
/ expense on my schooling. De Tafee-
/ You viii give them an academic edu-
/ cation, then? Snooks-Of course |
viii. That's what | got, and it if takes
/ every cent 1 have, all my boys and
girls shall be maCadamized.-Phi
/ delDhia Call
Mr.. SMITH (who has Just married
his second: Mr.. Featherly / would
/ ike to present you to my wife. My
dear, Mr.. Featherly." Mr.. Featherly:
/ PLEASED 10 meet you, Mrs. Smith. |
/ knew the former Mrs. Smith very well. )"
1 Mrs Smith. Indeed ~ Mr. Feather
/ ly: "Oh, my, yes She was an ad-
mirable woman IN every respect. Her
! death was q great misfortune to Mr..
/ Smith New York Times.
"How Is this. doctorr" said a coun-
/ try editor to one OF his subscribers. Il
sent you a bill for subscription, and
received two dollars and this little
! cork. | can grasp the idea embodied
\ in the two dollars, but | don't quite
catch on to the cork" and the C. e.
/ smiled his most affable smile That
/ means stopper" said the doctor, and
he hasn't received a copy OF the paper
/ since.-CfUciHnat d Merchant Traveller
THE story Is told OF Mr. Evarts that
/ he once sent a donkey up to ms farm
at Windsor, Vt, and about a week
! afterward received the following letter
/ from his little grandchild: "Dear
| Grandpa. The little donkey Is very
/ gentle, but he makes a gnoise nights
/ He is very lonesome. | guess he misses
you. | hope you will come up soon
and then he won't be so lonesome. =
/ 4tchmsOu Champion.
| IT Is said in favor OF Prince Henry
| OF Battenberg, the Queens new nickel
/ plated sOn-in-law, that he is an excel
/ lent practical printer. 1t will be re-
membered that Battenberg used to be
/ slug on the Berlin tri-weekly Gesund-
[ helt- Bladder, and that when the Office
was mObbed by the AntI-thiCk-bOt
1 toned Beer Glass Society, in the
/ spring Of 1878, Battenberg dispersed
/ the rioters by fracturing the skull of
their leader with blow with the Office
towel.-PhIadelDhia Press.
! SMITH understand, Jones, your
wife left town this morning with Prof.
X, the dancing master. Jones (smil-
/ ing)-Oh, that's a little Joke started
/ by Brown. He came to me a little
while ago with the snme story. | told
/ him he lied Smith-But II 3 a fact,
Jones, upon my word. l saw them
at the station myself, Jones-What
| Are you sure? Smith-Perfectly sure.
/ Jones-Then / must apologize to
| Brown tor calling him a har.-New
| York Sun.
ARE the fall styles OF wall paper in
/ Yet ?" she anxiOusly inquired.
/ E'Yes'm." That was 10 o'clock in the
morning. At 1 o'clock IN the alter
noon. after having 2S4 samples dis
I PLAYED before her on the rack, she ten
/ deriv inquired: Have you any
more?" Nom" care you sure
these are the very latest fall stgles?"
/ Eyes ~ 'aThen-then I guess III
/ take a roll-oDe for two shillngs-
want to paper a trunk H'-Detroit
Free Press.
THEY were seated at Coney Island
/ overlooking the ocean. The sight OF
/ the boundless blue sea, she said,
| bearing upon its mighty bosom the
/ stately white-winged ships, freighted
/ with hopes and fears, and-and merCh-
andise and alas ambitions that VIII
never be realized, always fill me with
wonder and delight, and my whole be
/ ing becomes so surcharged with emo
/ tions as to leave no room for aught
else" Your order, please, inter
/ rupted the waiter. "Oh, yes, a dozen
/ hard-sheII clans, please, and a hot sau-
/ sage. '-EXchange
]
! And When They Got Home She---
! From Harper's Drawer.l
/ rTTl-z 40, s1.rz - -ba a-.-ar mill