The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-04-02
PUNGEVF PARAGR APIS.
hard case-The oyster shcll.

A hard case-The oyster sheIl.
A swell affar-A balloon ascension.
1t is difficult to tell how much fish
weighs by looking at the scales.
a dentist ought to make a good poll
tician. He generally has 4 pull.-fuc&.
The American young man, they say,
marrics for money: the American young
Won,ai tor allmony.-JHdge.
A Michigan COW has sixty horns Ali
now We understand where corncd Leef
CONES from. D0st04 Iranscript
y man may successfully paint the
town red, but when aiterWard he has u
brush with a policeman he loses color
Lockpo,t JoHyHW.
a fair poetess says: I've found what
silence is All right. darling; you may
keep it. Perhaps you'll need 1t some
day.-NGg Io,k Journai.
"Last, but not leased" remarked the
real estate owner when he saw the last
of dozen houses he had put up stand
ing gidle.--ucrchuat- Traceler.
The number of plants raised by man
does not exceed 1908. An industrious
hen will raise more than that every hour
in the day.-Biagta0atoa RepuJ/tcoa.
We know not what dangers waiting,
What troubles lor Us are "a bIewln';
The maid to the rink Went a-skatlng
And came back with her bustle IN rum.
--BOSt0n Courier.
'.Lct 90 my ear" yelled passenger
on We I Side street Car yesterday. 81
beg your PARDON" said the other man,
| thought had hold of the strap
Chtcago Hera/d
A Cedar Rapids, Ia, woman lay three
days iu trance, aud was only awakened
BY a ncighborins woman trying to bor-
row some brown sugar from the hired
gi. l.-.Neo York Journal.
We never speak as we pass by,
Atho' tear belin5 his eye
| know he thinks of he when he wrote
His name across my three months note.
The Judge.
First--Charming girl, that Miss Lucy,
Jack. Second-Think so! l never could
bear her She always treats me as if
was an ass, you know. First-lndeed,
| d d not know she knew you.-Har001d
Lampoon.
"Thinos in the Bottom Drawer" is the
cap ion in a local journal. Ten to one
they are the husbands things. No mar
ried men ever yet was allowed to keep
his things IN the top drawer of the bu-
eau.-Gfuphtc.
A kentucky man is said to have been
cured of stammering by the kick of
mule. If there is one thing thai will
make man talk violently, quickly and
vehemcntly, it is the kick Of a good
healthy mule.-Boston Post.
"No,n said the smart pig, just before
butchering time, as he declined the
farmers Invitation to come up to the
trough and have something: 'No, l
thank you kindly; but where there's
swiIl there's weigh. h."-Burdette.
There are 2, $50 languages; and yet
we have seen men at the skating rink
RIGHT here in Somerville with all this
linguistic wealth at their disposal, abso-
lutelv dumb because they were unable
adequately to express their feelings
4Somerclls Jo1rnaL
"What is the hardest gate to ride?"
young Greenboy was asking the Jockey
And before the rider could reply, man
with a yrinllled coat and sad voice OF
expression who was passing by, said:
"I{olsers' gaits" This SAD affair cast
gloom over the entire community
Burdette.
There WAS an old granger lived down IN tG
county of White,
To drive the crows from his corn ne Ieo tneih
with dynamite.
The crows
Then rose
In their upward flight