Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-05-09
Wit and HumOr.

Wit and Humor.
A COW is a strange creature. AL.
though it may not always have enough
to eat, it always cud eat if it chews.
The artist who dresses the hair of an
Irishman may not be q Fenian head.
scenter. but he is barberous enough to
be.
If a hen fails to come up to the scratch
in the morning, but defers her lay until
the evening, she has something, egg-cit.
ing to cackle-late over.
A current item says that a Southern
women claims to have used the same
rolling-pin for over sixty years, but ii
neglects to state how many husbands
che has had.
The profound ignorance outside Of the
inner circle in regard to. who is to get
dictate that there is nothing known In
Washington.
While teaching in large school in
Pennsylvania Miss Crayon had sole
charge of not particularly bright little
fellow whose education had just begun
During the reading lesson one day
George stumbled and came to a dead
stop at the word mat.
spell It George" said the teacher.
"M-a.t," read the boy.
"Well, what is it ?"
"Don' know"
"Oh yes, you do" said Miss Crayon
encouragingly. "Come, now, George
what do you wipe your feet on ?"
"Oh |" cried the lite fellow, with a
long-drawn ST. h of relief, "M-at toaCelt.
Harpers Bazaar.
De berry man whut KANT STAN good
luck is de berry man whut grumbles case
he amt got nul him.
Natur-tries mighty hard not ter show
favors. De frost whut kills de bad ap.
piles, also kills de good ones.
It's mighty often de little things dat
puts er pusson outen humor. De sting
Arkansas Traveller.
won't you have another piece of pie,
Mr.. Featherly ?" asked Bobby, hospit-
ably. His mother was entertaining a
few friends at dinner and the dessert
was being discussed.
Thanks, Bobby" Featherly replied,
laughingly; since you are so polite about
it, l believe / will take small piece
more"
"All right" said Bobby. "Now ma,
remember your promise. You said if it
was necessary to cut into the second pie
l could have two >pieces.'-New York
Sun.
A New Yorker tried to ride bucking
penny in San Antonio. After several
falls bystander limited that the New
Yorker did not know how to ride.
THAT is the fifth time now that that
horse has pitched me off," replied the
victim. Il verify believe this horse has
got prejudice against me, because am
from the North. That's what is the
"Don't you know who 1 ann" asked
Gus De Smith of an Austin gentleman,
who has just returned from Mexico after
a long absence.
Certainly l do. You are De Smith,
Gus De Smith. So help me heaven if
hadn't known your Christian name /
never would have recognized you, you
have changed so much"
An ambitious Galveston doctor was
about the ingratitude of the
public towards his profession. He said,
Statesmen, generals, artists and scien
lists all get monuments erected to their
but who ever heard of q doctor
having q monument"
why, doctor, don't you count those
out in the church yard?
Don't they mean anything?"
Moses Rabbenstein had gone to Eu-
rope on business, and, of course, held a
ticket. When in London he
was taken dangerously ill, and for
while it looked as if Moses was going to
meet his namesake.
Il dond wand to die here" he moaned,
4 want to go pack home"
do you want to die there?" asked the
heartless nurse.
mo, l dond want to tie dare neider,
pud eef haf to tie, 1 want to tie ad
home" groaned the careful Moses.
"What difference does it make? This