The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1885-11-26
HOW TO TRAVEL.
Rules FOR Passengers Which Difeer Slightly
Hrom tho Golden Rule, !,

First, please keop off the grass.
Travellers without baggage must pay
In advance. 30 must travellers with
too much baggage. Second, tho trav.
eler who has never before been twenty
miles away from home is permitted to
sit in one scat and put his feet on an
other. Third, the man who plants his
dusty boots on plush furniture at home
and In his frind's house is expected to
conduct himself in like manner on a
train. Fourth. gas burned after four
O'Clock will bo charged extra. Fifth,
the passenger who knows tho least
about anything is particularly request
cd to talk tho loudest about everything.
Sixth. whenever the conductor calls
"ail aboard" all passengers who are
taking their first trip in a railway car
will shout. ''if you can't get board
get rail" This will enable the con-
ductor to pick them out without any
trouble. Seventh, the passenger who
has been "aboard" Cooks excursion
ist, Europe, Asia and Africa in ninety
days). will please give accounts of tho
fabulous speed and superior comforts
OF continental railways; (two days aud
ninety seconds from Boulogne to Paris
including stops). Eighth, all loose
change in possession of tho passengers
may be safely intrusted to the train
boy, who will deposit it in safe place,
and giVo you collateral security for the
same. Ninth. no smoking abatt the
shaft. Tenth. please to remember the
porter. Eleventh, when the brakeman
fills his cheek with half an apple, just
cribbed from tho train boy, and shouts.
''Owwowwollowollo and
smashes tho rest of it into atoms by
banging the door shut. get off; that Is
your station. Twelfth, when you show
you baggage checks to tho conductor,
and he says "donnonoth bout 'tay
task l aggishmast. and hurries on,
put your check back in your pocket
and trust TO luck. Thirteenth, no pas-
senger may smoke q fragrant 25-ccnl
imported cigar anywhere save in the
cattle car set apart for Il smoking
room, but he may fill his Jaws with
navy plug, and spit all over the Whole
train from headlight to rear brake, II
he wishes. Fourteenth, always abuse
the financial and mechanical munauc-
menu of the road over which you ale
travelling to tho brakeman; it's all his
fault that the road isn't run in your ill.,
terest. Fifteenth, passengers will bear
in mind that tho brakemans nume is
else. The conductor may be formally
addressed as Say, George" or il his
appearance Is usually impressive, you
may say mister" Sixteenth, at the
dining-station, tho man who at nome
has meat three times week and one hot
meal on Sunday, is expected to growi
at the bill OF fare, keep the waiter busy,
swear he is starved to death every time
he goes over that line. gorge his way
through the whole bill OF fare twice,
then kick at tho bill and rave because
the company doesn't allow its passcn-
gers half tho time for their mou!s.
Seventeenth, this Is free country, and
any passenger has a right to force his
company upon any helpless stranger,
wade into conversation with hlm, ASH
him million questions about himseu,
his family, his business, his pcrsunu
affairs, and may even compel hlm 10
remain awake TO participate in sucn
conversation. Eighteenth, do not DICK
any leaf, flower or shruu. NIuctcentn,
at intervals. it is expected that the
poorest whistler in the Car will wnlstu
a tune which he does not know, and
nobody else ever hoard. Twentieth, it
is tho earnest dosirc Of tho company
over whose road you now travollny,
that as soon as you hear any other pos-
senger whistling, you will tooL ap Il
tuneless melody of your own. This
pleases the passengers who 90 not
whistle. TTcnty-iirst, Sass" the
brakeman al you can while OF. the
train. 1t might break your back it you
postponed it until he took his uniform
oh. Il. j. B"rdette in Pathfnder Gu.de.