Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-05-07
NUMBER 81.
Fun.
Coats milk ought to make good "

Goats milk ought to make good Dut-
ter.
Liniments 90 up as roller skaters come
down.-San Francisco Post.
The parsons out West think roller
skating has a tendency to promote back
sliding. Louisville Journal
Speaking Of spreading ones self, the
skating rink seems to be the place Of all
others to do it successfully.-Dsrrick.
There's no trouble about twisting the
tail Of sleeping bulldog. The dis
agreeable part comes when YOU let 90.
Shakespeare wasn't broker at all, but
do you know Of any man who has fur
nished 50 many stock quotationsG-Bos-
ton Times.
s'Can cat come down tree head
frst9'' asks writer on natural history.
It can if the tree is within range Of .
bootiack.
A scientist now declares that the tip
Of the nose is the home Of the soul. II
has certainly often shown where departed
spirits have gone.-BOston Post.
A recent article is entitled "a Poet On
an Editor. We cannot exactly under
stand this, but perhaps he grabbed him
while his back was turned Boston Post.
An exchange contains a long article
which tells how to distinguish perfect
woman. The way to distinguish an inn
perfect woman is by talking to her
BROTHER Call.
When baseball player strikes out In
attempting not to strike out his feeling
does not show up with half the intensity
Of those Of the roller-skater who fails To
strike out in attempting to strike out
Hatehet.
A writer in Harpe;'s Basar says: "The
ears should be so placed as not to be
higher than the eyebrows or lower than
the tip Of the nose" People who aFe
dressing for party should not forget
this. Call.
A correspondent says that people ~
India are rarely bitten BY snakes, as boots
arc worn to protect the feet. How diff
ferent it is in this country where people
can't keep the snakes out Of their boots.
Brooklyn Times.
It is said that the heart Of the average
man sends $4,000 pounds Of blood
through the arteries every hour. When
a ruffian threatens to drink your hearts
blood, his eyes are larger than his
stomach. .-Ns,O York Graphic.
George Riddle, of Carroll County.
Mo-, has twenty-five daughters. He
lives Just on the outskirts of civilization,
and whenever 3 dressmaker locates with
in twenty-five miles be moves further
into the woods. Burlington Free Press
Mrs. slapper, of Sumter, Ga, has tho
white slippers she wore when she was
married seventy years ago The fact
that she has preserved them all these
years is proof that she never used them
to SIapper children. NOrTistOlCn Herald.
The man who writes, and writes in verse,
Is seldom worth tinker's curse.
The man who plays the violin
Is always lazier than sin.
The man who thinks he knows it all
DISPLAYS mighty sight of gall
The man who thinks himself the best
Is he whom we should all detest
But he who pays the printer Is
The noblest Roman in the ''biz"
Big Springs (Tsa.l Pantagraph.
Mrs. Frank Leslie claims to have "the
smallest foot of any lady in the United
States Mrs. Leslie publishes dozen
Newspapers and magazines, and this in
formation concerning the size Of her
foot will prove encouraging news-tc,
those poets who are in the habit Of offer.
ing their poetical effusions personality
Norristoson Herald
Editors have their peculiarities as well
as other people. They practice and in
culcate brevity, which is virtue. They
are absent-minded, which is failing.
1t is not strange, then, that one should
send note to his lady love like the fol-
lowing: dearest, have carefully anal
yzed the feeling entertain for you, and
the result is substantially as follows !
adore you'll VIII you be mine2 An
swer." Then after moment Of thought
he added, in a dreamy, absent way
''Write only on side Of the paper. Write
plainly and give real name, not neces-
sariIy for publication, but as guarantee
Of good faith. boston Courier.
'Tis sweet 10 See the humble bee
Puncture the schoolboys trousers
IT'S sweet to see mendacious tramps
Pursued by rustic towsers;
Tis sweet TO hear the infants yells
Whose nurses just have spanked 'em
'Tis sweet to hear pun explode
When quiet fills the sanctum
But, oh, of saccharine delights
Spring poets fail us never,
Fast followed by the fateful thud,
Forever and forever. -HatcAet
origin 81 "chessnut.p
Iasked Commodore Tooker, the the
atrical manager, to-day what chestnut
meant as applied to q stale joke. Ht
said that it was technical to the dramat-
!