St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-12-19
COV1NGTON ST. TAMMANY PARISH LA. DECEMBER 49, 1885,
undertaking to the kind care and patronage
of all people and all nations

of all people and all nations
IF may be said to ever have commenced
. literary career. it certainly was much
later in life than most men commit the folly.
Tor l had passed forty years before |
ever wrote line for the public eye What
little reputation may have made. has been
accomplished within the last nine years and
! consider that owe all of this little to the
kindness of the world at large. Who while
humor. in what have written. have done
me the credit to acknowledge that my pro-
auctions have been free from malice. pin
all my faith. hope and charity upon this one
impulse of my nature, and that is. if could
nave my way. there would he smile contn-
uaiiy on the face of every human being on
Gods footstooi, and this smile should ever
and anon widen into a broad grin.
Il have not the inclination to go into an
extended account of the trials and failures
that have met with since first put on the
would not contend with them again for
what little glory and stamps they have won
for me-"
The bad spelling under which Josh
Billings pregnant sayings so proftably
thrived was purposely taken on. partly
through fear of his ability to spell cor
rectly, and partly from eccentricity. So
Billings quasi-phonetic method became
all his own, and no man lives who can
fix law thereto. His was horse sense
expressed in the plain Saxon of homely
people. He turned out aphorsms grin
ming with truth. Ii his lectures were
nondescript it is because they lacked
unity and coherency. not matter He
was neither Artemus Ward nor the droll
and brilliant Phoenix. nor Bob Burdette,
nor Mark Twain-that everybody
knows he was Josh Billings. a kind of
Old Man of the Mountain, who talked
wisdom to the people with his books
and came to amuse them with the
same, expounded in his dry but humor-
GUS way, from their platforms.
In certain localities. says a repre-
sentative of the Redpath Lyceum Bu-
reau. Josh Billings was in demand. and
could command one hundred and fifty
dollars for lecture. being called for in
first-class courses; but he was of that type
and grade of lecturer who does his best
business when visiting place the first
time. He was then curiosity. 1t was
a joke of his that he was once invited to
lecture in Pennsylvania town. He
went, but found no advertising had
been done nor any preparation made.
He was referred to young man, who
told him he had been called there to ad-
dress about twenty-five fellows, who
wanted to lock themselves in, chew
tobacco. and be comfortable. Josh
Billings agreed. and got his seventy five
dollars for that star-chamber lecture.
The only relevancy that the title, milk"
had to the lecture of that name was that
Billings drank . glass of milk at its
outset. Such was the oddity of his life,
his thinking, and sayings. Here are
Sum ov His sayings"
ut liz better to no less than to kno 80 mutch
that amt SO.
"a broken reputashun is like broken
vase; it may be mended, but always shows
where the krak was.
IF you kant trust q man for the full
amount let him skip: This trying to get an
average on honesty has always been fail
ure.
"Thare is no treachery in silence-silence
is a hard argument to beat.
Don't mistake habits for karacter. The
men ov the most karacter hav the fewest
habits.
''Thare liz cheats in all things-even pizon
IL adulterated.
The man who liz thoroughly polite IL
thirds ov Christian emmy how.
kindness IL an instinkt, politeness only
an art.
"Thare IL a great deal ov learning in this
world which IL moth ng more than trieing to
prove what we don't understand.
commence at the middle of the ladder and
reach the top-and probably you and don't
belong to that number
"one ov the biggest mistakes made yet IL
made by the man who thinks he is temper
ate: lust because he puts more water in his
whisky than his neighbor does"
Josh Billings had lecture called
The Probabilities of Life; perhaps rain
and perhaps not" The following is q
the fidelity of which
many will recognize. Of Josh struggling
with that serio-comic feat:
In 1873 Josh Billings lectured at St.
Joseph. Mo-. to large audience. The
next morning he went into the First
National Bank, just across the street
from his hotel to get the proceeds of
his lecrure-some $500, mostly in 81
and 50 bills. exchanged for bills Of
larger denominations. The cashier,
JOS 'ah Hull. was temporarily busy.
and Josh turned aside to . street
window to await his turn. Joseph C.
Corby. proprietor of the ST. Joseph
Gazette. entered on business. He had
heard Josh lecture the night previous.
him at once, and engaged
him in q casual conversation, during
which Josh exhibited his 'sroll," re-
that IS he was on his way to
San Francisco over the Union Pacific
line he was afraid they would charge
him for extra baggage if he carried that
big wad along, and that he had come
to get it reduced. In few minutes
the cashier was at liberty, the two
stepped to the counter. and Corby
introduced Josh to Mr..
Hull.
why don't you introduce yourself
first?" said Josh. turning abruptly upon
Corby.
Corby made as graceful an apology
rs a man could who was half-em-
and three-fourths mad, and
they shook hands and were friends, but
Corby will never forget his first
to Josh Billings.-Toledo
Coz. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Prosecuting Attorney to prisoner
n