Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-14
BRIGHr7 BITS.


IYHE leeman'a lot rs not. 20 very bard after
al. he has his chops very early III the morn
ING Bosfoh Fudge.
JAY GoULn has become SO much affected by
ms peculiar mania that he even waters the
Irdtelsr. fre
"YERY. particular'' why, should you say,
L. your kitchen clock IKE foolish pitmans
why because, you see, he goes on "tick"
when ION strike. '-Jldy.
SAID Bobby to the minister at dinner: Can
church whistle" why Do sou ask"
Cos pa owes sl2 back pew reut, ana he SAYS
re going y let The chttIeA WHISTLE fol it,
Columbus DisPatch. o., .-.
An afrecent picnic there was one boy who
took everything that came bis,waY, with one
exception a plate cake was passed To
nm, apd 9ftery Viewing it critically a moment
he remarked: 81 don't wan t-4ny Of that my
inothef made it."-Ddas0ilte Breass.
rat girls q, Rhode Islanda are SQUARE. One
OF them who Ripped ainclhf s4ed fhp0 mans
eye and destroyed the sight couldn't put up
any money damage, ana therefore offered to
elope with him. Tie acceptec the offer in the
spirit rendered. and they sklpped.-DetrOit
Free Press.
A LADY from New York who was on board
the steamer Tlconderoga, on Lake George, at
the time Of the accident last week, was so
agitated that she rushed up TO the captain,
ana, throwing her arms around his neck
pathetically asked him if there was a tele-
phone on board.-Gl.as Falls Times.
LITTLE Claude,
"Mamma's Fraud"
Took The collie
ParegOric.
D9cturs came
without number,
Boy ed game
Green cucumber.
THE newspaper humorists have been telling
story about ship which recently 81 led
Iron Roc
900 gallons OF rum and three missionaries
The Boston papers have cOndescended to no
Tee the story. and sln their stately way re-
mark that II was an old Joke in 1885, and as
such appears IN a collection of Local Hits and
cuts published that year. II is dangerous for
the funny men TO get too far away from the
mdther-in-law joke.-CAieago Tribune.
How much to PoughkeepsieY' shouted
Debated passenger to the operator in the tele-
graph station at the Grand Central depot.
Twenty Ave cents.3
Twenty five ccntsP What do you mean?
Neverpaid so little BEFORE"
That's what it has been for years"
"Glad of II. Here's the cash"
"All right; where the Lne5sage?"
Nv hat messageg'
where's the telegram YOU re going to send !;
not more than ten wOrds2
who said anything about a telegram? GIVE
me q ticket to P0ughkeepsIe."
Next window said the operator. as he
flung himself back in his chair.
HIS FIRST CIGAR.--
A small boy pulled at big cigar,
HlFeye ,bRlged outsunu his cheeks sank in
lie gulped rank humes with his lips ajar;
While muscles shook in his you Jhful chin;
HIS gals were green, but he smole smile
lie Bat hiFh mp on the farfnyard stiie,
And cooked his hat DER his CLASSY eve,
Then wunka wink AT COW near by.
The earth swan round, but the stile stood
stu, ot 3tstso4a .e
The treesrose up and the kid crawled down,
Ia lrrO npf aI FOR f fAl
And krew that cigar had "done him
browne o5F1iH H1 t.E
His head was light and his feet like lead
liiB cheeks grew white as aiinen spread,
Whie he weakly gasped -as DO gazed afar.
III Ave, this herels my lest CIGAR
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