Connecticut western news., 1885-01-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

luuate as he thinkp.
 MYSTERY always maeniaos danger as lho fog magniaes the sun.
 CONSOLATION consoles only those who gre willing to be consoled.
 SIMPLICITY of character is the natural result of profound thought
 SATInIsrs gain the applause of others trough fear, not through love.
 ALI honest men will bear watching. tt is tho rasoals who cannot stand it.
 soME men will never learn anything, A tramp tried to rob an editor the other Jay.
 A WOMAN in some States cannot sue and be sued, but she can complain and be eourled.
 SSow balls are fashionable. You don't require tc attend them. They como to you.
 TuE man who has rooms to lot in a business building is about the only party that welcomes office seekers.
 A CALIFORNIA damsel was highly of. tended because her mother presented her a cook book as wedding present
 AN ordinary train of passenger coaches is said to be worth s93, 900. This does not include the porter of tho sleeping.ear.
 GENERAL LookN believes tho oilieo should seek tho man, but the man should be around when the office starts out on tke seeking business.
 "RoDnrE," said tho viaitor kindly, have you any little brothers and sis tersp ?" "No," replied wee Robbie, solemnly, "rm all tho children we've got"
 "You my speak, said fond mother, 'abeut people having strength of mind. but when it comes to strength of don't
 nind, my son William surpasses evory. Oody ever knew"
 ONE who spoke United States only :. "Did the decoased dio under suspicious circumstances asked a coroner of
 rural witness. "Naw, ho didn't; ho died in tho water, under tho ice"
 A KANSAS cowbow stopped a stage full of passengers and made them wait while he read Q poem of thirty-two verses dedicated to his Mary Jane. There are some things as bad as shooting.
 ToucmNa extract from Q novel Casting herself between her brother and his intended victim, the fair Inez exclaimed in a voice that vibratod with , agony 'Rodolpho, do not kill him, for if you did, he would surely die. ?"
 MIsrREss-Jane, I read in tho news papers that very much of tho candy now made is decidedly bad for tho health.
 You must be very careful that dear little Fido does not get hold of my of the chill candy.-Phila. Progres& A sHREwp old lady cautioned her mar ried daughter against worrying her hus-
 band too much, and concluded by say. ing: "AIy child, a man is liko an egg. 1 Kept in hot water little while, ho may ol soft; but keep him in there too long , and he hardens." l THE loving wiie of n dealer in city | milk was looking for present for her , husband. She remarked to a friond !.
 "I want to get something new-novel- to him" "In that caso," said the , friend, who was buyer of the husband, q would give him a cow"
 "YoUR trip 10 Italy must have boen
 very pleasant said a young lady to Simpson, who had just returned from .
 foreign strand. "very interesting, ia. deed" said he "Now, tell me, i" said she, "does Italy really look like boot You know that's the way it looks on tho map"
 SEE the merry slsaters glide ] Bump, bump } Freely, fairly they slide F Bump Airy mAzes they are trading hii flying, swimming, threadingf Bump, bump tt is very, very spreading ] Bumpl { -San Franclsoo Wasp. 2 IT was rather q keeu satire the late . Miss Sarah Ellen Smith indulged in when 9 she provided in her will that her niece
 should profit by bequest only on con-
 ition that she married a man who
 neither smoked nor drank. In the tes.
 tator's opinic ,, man who eau afford
 these lu1dries can keep his wife without
 tho aid of her money. A HoostcK FAILS lady who is promi- nent in the revival work in the Methodist Episcopal Church recently knelt in the aisle near some boys who were laughing i, at the earnestness of inc Christians, and prayed: 70 Lord, these boys think they arc awfully smart but we beseech Thee, good Lord, Co make their hearts as soft as their heads." A GERMAN shoemaker, having madc a !, pair of shoes for . gentleman of whose financial integrity he had considerable doubt, puzzled his Tcutonic brain Co 0 know what excuse he could give for not delivering them, and inally made tbo v following reply to him when he called e for the articles; "Der boots ish not D quite done, but der beel ish mado ont. " -@= s==-=aa I Everything in Luck.