Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-01-11
BRIGHT BITS.

BECAUSE a Chinaman has private cuc it
does not necessarily follow that he is an adept
at billiards. This Is rather far-fetcned, but
so is the Chinaman.-BeStOaP Post.
"JOHN." said Mrs. Bascom to her husband,
81 intend to return some calls this afternoon.
Won't you step down to the stable and tell
them to send up a carte de- visit, with q
Observation-Disclosures Free Press.
80 your pretty cousin has married an Eng
fish nObleman?" ~ es, she married q Lord
Somebody in London last week" MY cousin
mas been married, too - rs that 500 Whom
did she marry" "a Lord Nobody. '@Drdke
TrG5eyers' AdgdziHe.
TIE Senatorial candidate dictated a tele-
gram to a member of the Legislature: If you
vote for me 1 will not forget the obligation"
the private Secretary. ''Wen, you know
what I mean. Boil it down to ten words. y
The private Secretary struck out the word
'nOt.'-Chicago NetCs.
HERR KREUTZHUBER is a member of the Sc
cret police. Being on his way home after
midnight, he observed on the street lamp q
placard. "Ha! these scOuEdrels of Socialists
have posted q placard denOUncing His Males
ty," said kreutZhuber to himself. Being de-
sermined 10 destroy the placard, he painfully
climbed up the lamppost, and having secured
the reasonable document he reads, Fresh
Paint. '-FIiegeHde Btdtter.
LIT IT Pass
II for good you've taken i'll,
Let it pass!
Oh be kind and gentle still:
Let it pass;
Time at last makes all things straight;
Let US not resent, but wait,
And our triumph shall be great:
Let Ii pass.
Let 1t pass!
AL the Year Found.
4 MAIDEN Of uncertain age
Of ancestry was wont to brag:
When that attention would engage
hn pn "A ~ nof flo.
zone of my ancestors says She,
Game on the MayhOWer." Can it be-"
Asked one. ct is a distinction great.
Why. 1920 was the date"
''Pray tell me-" slyly asked another,
WAS it your father or your mOther?"
George BirdSeye.
ARE you a native of the State?" asked the
Judge of the United states Court, addressing
a fat man who had been summoned to testify
in a case of Illicit distilling. "M0silY, Jedge."
Il mean were you born in this StaUe?" Il
understand. | want born here, but 1 am
mighty nigh native" Game here when
you were quite young, I suppOseH' mo, sir
amt been here but about ten year" How
old are you?" Fifty" ''Then how is 1t that
you are Very nearly native of the Statef'
Gwen, when | came here 1 only weighed
about 100 pounds. Now l weigh 2i0, so you
see 40 pounds OF me are native while only 100
pounds come from MissOury."
4 CHICAGO gentleman who was professor
of languages, moved to Texas and started a
school. His business nOurlshed so well that
ne was soon enabled TO take unto nlmSelf q
better half in the shape of a widow with con-
siderable property. On the morning after
his marriage he opened school as usual, but
did not seem to be in a very hilarious mood
The reason for the Chicago mans dlSsatIsfac-
ton leaked out when he dismissed school, for
he said: young ladies and gentlemen, / do
not think that you have treated ire courte-
Ously. None of you have congratulated me
on my MARI age. When / taught in Chicago
l don't remember Of ever having got married
a single time wi, hout my pupils Congratulate
ing me on the happy eveut"-TeeGS SiftjnGs