Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-09-12

Steam, or Maud S.-IAdt C0n.forl
able Station.--A Bsistling E'rc,sse.-
Young Mrs. Partiqgton. Religion.
Critics. Cauili,sg Wsth the Dead Flo
Their Laiwels. -A Wait From tn
Waste Baskef : Our Friends, at HON
and Abroad. Etc, Etc.
The edge of everyday affairs (ant
Sunday ones too) needs sharpening
The common question, "haint 1t dull?'
is put with more fervent irritation
and more reckless disregard of gram
mar than usual and I sympathiz,
most abundantly. Wont somebody
please elope, or commit suicide orjoir
the church, or astonish this communi
ty in some such way just to obligt
your neighbors in general and us il
particular. If you're going to hang
around much longer in this comatost
/ shall be driven to tres
pass upon Grant Pitzer's line, ant
take to giving "plain talks" to the
sterner sex. / hesitate to take tt
such severe measures, but when, in
the course of human events it becomes
necessary to keep this column going,
we will, if necessary, improve upon
the wise diction of the politician,
who said, measures not men," and
include them both, even if we have
to take out a patent right on the sub
ject.
N.Y.
In order to relieve the public mind
Of an oppressive problem left over
from last week, we are at liberty to
announce that " Tim" Holey has de-
,lared himself to be the only thorough
Dude at the Continental, and that the
poetry quoted last week was some of
the genial Mr.. Ramer's manufacture.
*x*
Masters IIobb and Lambert enter
sained the audience at the rink last
Saturday night with some excellent
md graceful fancy skating. There
was also some entertaining fancy
falls, which for solid dull thud and
general spread, couldn't be out-done
oy the veriest tyro. Mr.. McCarroll
and Mr.. Stribling revolved around in
decidedly picturesque costumes, and
were so largely admired that some of
the other gentlemen were tempted by
the green-eyed monster to make COM
plimentary remarks, and now we may
soon expect to see all the experts fear
fully and wonderfully clothed.
*x*
The M. G. Band gave the last an
of their excursion on
Wednesday, by musicale on Tues
day evening after business hours. A
great many people and families avail
ed themselves of the cheap rates of
fare and INDUCED in a sightseeing
holiday. One hundred and seventy
FIVE tickets were sold here for this ex-
rursion to Washington and Mt. Ver-
non.
Talking of excursions, there is an
impression abroad in the land that
the Fire Company's to Harrisburg,
Pa, on September 18th, will be the
of the season. 1t may not
be generally known that they 60 over
by invitation to take part in the cen
tenial celebration Of Dauphin County.
We learn that eighty fire companies
ire to take part in the parade. Har-
'isburg is beautiful city to visit, and
We are quite sure that no one will re-
sret the trip. Mayor Lambert, who
s Chief of the Fire Department, prom
SEES ample accommodation for all,
,ven if he has to limit the number of
tickets sold. The time is extended to
wo days.
We haye an excellent fire company,
we'll trained and efficient, they ask no
wages and receive none, and we are
glad to be able to say for the people
or whom they are willing to endure
and incur danger and peril,
hat there is no lack of patronage in
they undertake.
*x*
The first steam carriage that has
visited Martinsburg passed through
lere Wednesday evening.
The sterner sex overlooked with
'emarks as to its obvious disadvanta-
yes for pleasure driving with the la
lies. And inasmuch as there is no
likelihood of this method of transit
ahead of its own record OF
u miles an hour, the swift young
man will still stick to the innumerable
Maud S., furnished at Geyer's livery
stable.
*x*
Thanks to Alpha for noting what
we neglected to speak of, the B. & o.
Station at Harper's Ferry. l once
had to wait for a train at the afore-
said depot from eight o'clock in the
evening until three A. NJ, and when
ever / recall the vigil of that night,
long so much to use vigorous Language
that I'd be willing tobe muledriver
in order to indulge little natural de
pravity, versus corporation.
***
Who is that young merchant so de
void of diplomacy as to excuse him
n