The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-05-16
GETTING SQUARE WITH HIM.
lDesrick Dodd, in San Frasciscan.l

Derrick Dodd, in San Frasciscan.]
 Now that the majesty that doth hedge an executive is being dissipated in MT. Arthur's case by his retirement, his ex. cabinet is beginning to let out a good many little incidents of the reign of one who will deservedly go down in history under the soubriquet of "The Jolly Pres ident." For illustration, one of his con- stitutional advisers, in recent letter to an old crony in this city, says:
 "Did ever tell you of the fun we had during the visit of the presidential party to Florida, summer before iast2 You must know that, besides being a con- 6rmed practical joker, Chet is quite an adept at certain sleight-of-hand tricks, a proficiency in which he has kept up from boyhood. He fatters himself he can re- move handkerchief or a watch from a pocket with as much adroitness as a pro- fessional 'nipper.' He has perpeuated many queer joke in this way, the ex. alled position of the perpetrator naturally protecting him from suspicion. While al Jacksonville, the White House gang determined to attend a monster darky camp-meeting about ten miles back in the country, and to avoid the eternal re- ception nuisance we went incog. When we left the train, and were waiting for conveyances at small tavern, Chet mo- ticed a fat planter dozing in the bar-room, and displaying preposterous bunch of eals on his fob chain. Arthur watched his chance, snaked out the mans watch, and hid it in the saddle.bags of another traveller that was hanging on the wall. Now, Bill Chandler had been waiting for a chance to get back on Arthur for sev. eral days, so he in turn collared the plan ter's property and slipped it into the breast pocket of Chet's big duster. Then he quietly led each member of the rarty aside and let them into the cons piracy, to their great delight. When the vehi- cles returned from the camping ground Arthur was immediately collared by the planter, who savagely demanded his property.
 " What do you mean, fellow?' said the president, trying not to laugh, and winking at his staff-all of which, how. ever, remained suspiciously indifferent.
 "Oh, you can't come any funny busi- ness with me. One of these gentlemen saw you steal my watch and put it in your pocket. Here, constable, l want this man searchedl
 "Very well, then, search me, said our first citizen, almost exploding with laugh ter.
 "'l thought so,' said the constable, and to Chet's petrifaction he fshed out the watch from the first pocket he dived into. 'I'll just slam you into the cala- boose, my fine fellow.'
 "'You will, eh?' said the president, with chuckle. Here, Mir. Frelinghuy- sen, just tell this man who am.'
 " Did you speak to me, my good man2' said the secretary of state, innocently.
 Yes, yes. Hurry up and explain this thing said Arthur, as the constable began taking out pair of handcuffs. Explain what2 l don't know you, sir and the state department walked off
 "'Great Scottp stammered Arthur. 'Say-you Chandlerl What does all this mean2 Tell these people who am quick
 "' If you are addressing me- said the secretary of the navy, putting on his glasses and taking benevolent survey of the prisoner, my name is not Chand- Ter, and l never saw you before.' " Great heavens-this is outrageous ' screamed Arthur, fighting desperately with the constable. 1 tell you am the president
 "sThe most impudent rascal ever saw ' said Folger.
 Hard looking face,' clipped in Bob Lincoln.
 "Don't be rough with the poor man, said Teller, kindly. Perhaps he is a little gone in the -. What are you president of, my good fellow1' q" Pm president of the United States, as you'll pretty soon find outp gasped the prisoner, furiously.
 "' Tut, tut, tut ? murmured Chandler. pityingly. Clean gone-clean gone Intelligent looking man, too. Escaped from some asylum, likely "And, to his unspeakable horror, Ar. thur was loaded into wagon and carted of to the county bastile, where he was kept almost an hour, until, in solemn caucus, the cabinet voted for his release. To Chet's credit, however, be it said that although he was extradited in white rage and vowing to smash the entire household slate, he cooled down before we reached jacksonville, and concluded to set lem up for the crowd in true White House style. But the joke business had rest after that"
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