The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1885-07-01
THE LAND OF COLLARS.
= Famous City. Noted for TIE Pretty Girls,
IT. snowy Linen. and Efs Frguiiar
Conversational Habfs "
lr. K. Mnntittrick 10 l,i...., l


think il was Mark Twain who wrote OF
the greai veDer-.tion in which the onion Is
held 10y the patriotic BerInudan. Had lac
been in Troy he would certainly have given
t.. the world = sketch that would h-.ye fur
nislIed Us with an idea of the Troian'S Vener-
alton for the collar
Because it j. not going beyond the pale OF
reascn to say that the collar il to Troy what
the onion is to Bermuda. the potato to Ire
land. the sturgeon to Albany. the mosquito
To New Jersey and the fifc-crackcr To China.
Ina Troy it i the collar that settles one
status. Tine aristocrits are the standing col
lars. the burgeoiSc the turil-lown. When
man shows any sign al succulnbing to grief
or misfortune. his friend slapS him on the
back and says: brace up; he Il collari"
When a boy starts out in life lac begins in
a collar factory and i s0othcd by the hope
that some day he may own one. The prin-
cipal buildings seem to bc devoted To collars
and il man occupies position of any i'm
pOrtanee in collar factory. ii il his entree
into good society. a. well AZ into the affect
ions Of the young lady whose charms gain
her the appellation of regular collar
girl
1t j. also well-known fact that when q
native uf Troy il absent he lovingly sends
his collars home To be washed
In New England Won occasionally see .
man wearing shirt, but no collar. In Troy
YOU sOmetmeSo observe Il man wearing - col
lar but no shirt. Such Il thing a. Il man
without a collar would be impossible in
Troy Troy without Il collar would be like
Hamlet with Hamlet omitted The highest
form of insult that can be offered Trojan OF
spirit i To call him 4 cOlarettc lie will rise
up in all his might at such AN imputation.
and offer Ia wager his bottom collar that he
can vanquish his calumniator with uugloycd
knuckles
The collar also figures in the song snd story
OF these people They have the fable OF The
Collar and the Cuff" and the song Hail.
Coliaria Happy Troy" And then they say:
Thy collar costly a. thy purse can buy.
For it's the collar nft prociaiuis the ul:tn.
They likewise query:
What's in name2 That which we call a collar.
ly any other name would bc A. sweet.
And
Brcaths> there man with sonl 50 deaf.
Who never TO himself has said
This j. my own. my native collar
They affirm that
All this words n stage.
And men and woinen merely the collars.
And sing
How noise~~ly falls the foot OF Tine
That only trcads on collars.
They also speak of Puck putting 4 collar
round the world in forty minutes, and declare
that
The evil that men do lives after them:
The good i oft Inferred with the collars
They speak of !: man who has everything
in this world that heart can wish a. being
who lies pcrpetualy ON bed of collars.
The noun collar i also used - verb.
adjective. participle and adyerb.
A conversation between couple just ca
gagged will give some idea of the grammaGc
possibilities of the word.
''Good evening. Laura"
Good evening. George; il was ~ collariy
of YOU To- send me those flowers this after
noon"
''Undcr the colaring influence of your
smile replies George. II am going to ask
YOU If you would like to 20 TO the theatcr
tomorrow evening The play il 'Eyadne.
which has been tried and not found collar
ing
Then replies Laura. with Il gracious
smile. Il am collared for tomorrow even
ing"
The orator says To 4 proud audience OF
Truians
Fellow collarS-If there were to he an
other Trojan war it would. no doubt. be be
tween the collars and cuffs"
You seem to be pretty well fixed for col
| lars. remarked To 4 man at the railroad
station
Fixed he said. 81 should say 30. We
| furnish the world with collars and still man
| age to keep supplied. We have every kind
of collar here except one"
What's that asked.
THE cholera"
Then He'd To Albany, that said old town
| that deics time on its foundation OF petriied
| sturgeon.