The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-07-01
PETER PEPPERT0N'S 4TH o.
JULY TRIUMPH.
Put to record by DO IN Piat..l ]


I triotic excitement burn out their dear eyes,
blow off their sweet noses and in many in
stances climb the golden stair IN a very hasty
and unseenly mang sr.
Were these accid, nts confined to the little
actors we might deplore their mutilations
and early deaths, but we would be comforted
with the thought that the tender patriots
had themselves to blame, If any blame at
taches To the patriotic custom. But, unfor-
tunately, many consequences occur beyond
the range Of youthful exuberance. Fright
! ened horses dash off to utter destruction
with pat iarchs on wheels. Women, in holi-
4 day attire. have found themselves in flames
| as well and no fire escape available, while
| cities have been burned and millions of
| property destroyed all for the qualification,
in barbarous way, of young America.
Any attempt at a mitigation Of the nui-
| sance IS met with opposition from the pa
rents themselves, who claim that it is well
! TO have patriotism developed in the child
rem But why should it take such wild
| form as Chinese crackers and horse pistols'
/ Why not set the day apart as one devoted
to a general breaking of window panes.
| Let it be promulgated, as the law, that ca
! =
| Illustrate his noisy patriotism, shall smash
| with pebbles all the windows in sight. This
would be less dangerous and offensive than
/ the powder business, and quite as sensible.
l never could comprehend why, in this
/ pa riotIc demonstration, we should pattern
1 after the Chimes, and have it 60 eff in loud,
/ disagreeable nCise and foul odors Among
! savage nations it is common to become a
nuisance while rejoicing, but civilized races
| take tseir JOY and exhibit their rejoicing in
a civilized way. Professions with banners
! and sweet music, festivals, in which wives
/ and children take part, occupy the day,
/ while at night artistic display of fireworks
( please the multitude. The child that on such
/ occasions, should bang off pistol or rack the
/ nerves with that barbarous combination of
red paper and powder, called Chinese
/ cracker, would be seized and thrashed on
| sight The little fend would ind it un-
| pleasant for DAYS after to hing on its center,
! SO as to come to sitting position.
Every Fourth o July gives me a realizing
| appreciation Of Lambs humor TO be found
in the question he propounded for debat-
/ ing society, to wit: "Was Herod as bad a
character as history represeuts.n 1 turn
/ brother who, in view of the prophesied
| earthquake, was written to by his sister in
/ the country, who proposed putting her
children under his care at London, answer
ed: Dear sister, send UP the earthquake,
| and keep the children"
There is but one celebration of the Fourth
| 1 treasure in memory, and that because of
/ the ludicrous incidents that survive the recol-
/ lection of the noise
/ was a law student under my iIlustrious
1 father. who had retired from the profession
/ he adorned to a quiet farm life in the valley
/ Of the Mac-o-cheek Ny brother student
was Tom Gallagher, and together we delved
/ in those beastly commentaries known to the
world as Blackstone. As all science is based
on terms and a supposed reason for them,
/ Blackstone IS Invaluable to the dull fellows,
who accept his absurd definitions without
being able to detect their absurdity, and
take sound for sense.
At the time l write OF law was regarded as
a science and treated as such. The bar was
composed of men who came to the practice
from honest toll, who split rails and plowed
the ground for means on which to secure
enough education to act as schoolmasters,
be able to study for their profession in the
summer. Hard-handed, knotty-headed fel-
lows, they made our judges, members of
congress and leaders Of the people and were
generally as earnest and solemn as mules.
We had debating societies in those days,
and one night of every week in the winter
the neighbors would gather in the country
school-house, dirnly lit with tallow dips, and
hear great orators discuss such grave ques-
tions as to which caused the most evil to
humanity, war or intemperance; or whether
Caesar or st. Paul was the greater man, or
any kindred question capable of presenting
two sides. The subject chosen week in ad-
vance, had the orators selected and the ad-
vocates designated to think aloud on their
legs came around with authorities, and fair
IL lifted the roof with their eloquent utter
ances The were selected for either side
/ by the president of the society, who had TO
decide at the end OF the debate which party
carried off the triumph. I observed that
each orator succeeded in convincing himself,
whether be captured the audience or not,
and 1t was no uncommon circumstance for
the eloquent sons of thunder To appeal, af-
ter adjournment, to their muscle, and treat
the valley to sundry darkened eyes and
bloody noses.
For the position OF orator on the Fourth I
am attempting TO chronicle, we were all
candidates. The committee of citizens
chosen to arrange the coming celebration
OF vociferous patriotism, after due delibera.
ton. gave the place to ona Andrew Jackson
Fossett. Now. Andrew J. was young man
make. who ran mainly to voice. Set On end
at any time, he had only to open his large
mouth to pour out stream of sound that
would discount steam whistle and put a
saw-n,iu to the blush. he possessed a vo-
, cabularv Of long words that fairly dazed his
audience.
There was something more in this contest
for place than a mere exhibit of patriotic
thunder. The valley possessed lovely little
country CIR. who for brief period Of her
existence answered to the name of Pop
sloan OF medium height, slender as a
sylph, she had tfae bloom Of youth grated
on a delicacy OF make rare 70 the fields Of
our pastoral regions She was pretty, to
use a country expression ..as painted wag-
on or TO put it stronger, rs "a Missouri
mule
To make her attractions. If possible,
stronger she was the sole heiress to all old
Sloan's possessions THE citizen thus desig-
mated was man of various occupations He
kept tavern and a thoroughbred Of Comes
togy origin. He was postmaster and aac-
tioneer. but his great claim to distinction
came in on the fact thai he was the paternal
| author Of the divine PoD-short for Polly,
ard villainous corruption of Mary
The venerable srd rnany-siied Sloan appre
GATED his possession He knew that Pop
gotten up rcgaf dies, and waiting on ths
fahle, active. smiling and aniable. biindel
his guests TO the weak coffee. strong butter
heavy biscuits and rancid bacon. for which
they had 20 pay in hard cash and hardel
indigestion.
, He ccuntenancea all Of Pops many sd
mirers, careful to favor no one, as he sough
: the custom ef all. .sye'u have tc git "
mighty early ID the u.ornin : he was won
, to say, 70 catch NJ Pop. and amt a-goiIl
70 "a any fellow slft--ser ssain't fair
Among ttaso zs1itors were two who seemas
10 BE- favored nero than thu others By Fol