The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-03-20
OFFICE OF
OFFICE OF
THE EVENING SQUEAL,
Jan. IA, 1884.

Jan. IA, 1884
General Passenger Agent,
Great North American Gitthere RR.,
Chicago, lie
DEAR SR-I desire to know by return
mail whether or no you would be pleased to
swap transportation for kind words. I am
the editor OF The Squedt, published at this
place. 1t is a paper, pure in tone, world
wide in its scope and irresistible in the
broad sweep of It's mighty arm.
desire to visit the great exposition at
New Orleans this winter, and would be
willing to yield you few words of editorial
opinion set in long primer type next to pure
reading matter, and without advertising
marks.
Ny object in thus addressing you is twos
fold. / have always wanted to doyour road
a kind act that would put it on its feet, but
have never before had the opportunity
This winter feel just like it, and am not
willing, but anxious. Another object,
though trivial, perhaps, to you, is vital TO
me. If lido not get the pass, am afraid I
shall not reach there till the Exposition is
over. You can see for yourself how inn
portant it is that should have transport5-
tion. Day after day the president will come
on to the grounds and ask if I am there,
Some official will salute him and answer
sadly, ''No, your highness, he has not yet
arrived but we look for him soon. He is
said to be- stuck in a mud kole SOME where in
Egypt Then the exposition will drag on
again.
You may make the pass read, t'For self,
Chicago to ST Louis and return" and will
write the editorial, or you may make it read,
'Self and wife, and I will let you write it
yourself Nothing is too good for my friends.
When man does me a kind act or shows
signs Of affection, just allow him To- walk
all over me and make himself perfectly free
with the policy of my paper,
The Evening Squeal has been heard every
where. We send it to the four winds of
heaven, and its influence is felt wherever
the English language is respected And yet
if you want to belong to my coterie of friends
you can make yourself just as free with its
editorial columns as you would if you owned
it.
And yet The Squeal is a bad one to stir up.
L shuddsr to think what the result would be
If you should incur the hatred of The Squeal.
Let us avoid such subject or the possibility
Of such q calamity.
The Squeal once opposed the candidacy of
a certain man for the Office of school district
clerk, and in less than four years he was d
corpsel Struck down in all his wantop pride
by one of the popular diseases Of the day.
Nv paper at one time became the foe of a
certain road which tapped the great cran-
berry whey ards of northern Minnesota, and
that very fall the cranberries soured on the
Vinesi
might go on for pages to show how the
pathway Of. The Squeal has been strewn with
the ruins of railroads, all prosperous and
happy till they antagonized us and sought to
injure US
believe that the great journals and
trunk lines of the land should stand in with
one another. If yon have the support and
moral encouragement of the press you viii
feel perfectly free to run over anyone who
IL I,a11 q
pass over your road 1 should feel very much
reserved about printing the details of any
accident, delay, or washout along your line.
aim to mould public opinion, but a man
can substitute and corrupt me if he goes at
&c right I write this to kind of give you a
pointer as to how you can go to work to do
SO If you see fit
Should you wish to pervert my high moral
notions In relation to railways please make
it good for thirty days, it may take me a
week or so to mortgage my property and get
ready to go IN good style. will let you
know on what day I will be in New Orleans,
so that you can come and see me at that
time. Should you have difficulty IN obtain
ing an audience with me, owing to the
throng of crowned heads, just show this
autograph letter to the doorkeeper, and he
viii show you right in. Wipe your boots
before entering. Yours truly,
DANIEL. WEBSTER BRIGGS,
Editor of The SqueaL
1t is my opinion that no railroad official,
however disobliging, would hesitate mo-
ment about which way he would swing after
reading an epistle after this pattern. Few,
indeed, are the men who would be impolitic
enough to incur the displeasure of such a
paper as I have artfully represented The
Squeal to be. BILL NYE.
HUDSON, Wis.
Every step upward" says one of the
great thinkers of the day, sis by conquest
the conquests that go on Within
Boston Post: Poets are said to be born,
not made; so it is not the poets fault, after