The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-04
SHAMEFUL DISCIPLINE.
Why Prominent Man was Mereilessly
 Slaughtered in Joint Session.

Slaughtered in Joint Session.
 Had it not been for a shameful piece of deception, Colonel Gladrock would have been elected United States sen ator to fill the unexpired term of Augustus Garland. It is well known that Colonel Gladrock IS man of eminent integrity, sober and obliging, with dark skin, black eyes and rich plenitude of piety. The members of the legislature knew this, and had it not been for soulless political trick, no man in the state could have beaten the distinguished man. When the joint ses- sien dissolved, after having taken the ninth ballot Colonel Gladrock was within few votes of election. His ene- mics were nervous. They saw the crouching tiger of defeat, ready to spring upon them. At this alarming conjunctnre, Tom Grindly, mutton-faced fellow from Horsehoof county, called meeting of the opposition and made startling sug- gestion. He explained the course he in- tended to pursue and was greeted with cheers.
 Shortly afterwards, Grindly entered new restaurant. Approaching the pro- prietor he said
 "My friend, hear that you set an ex- cellent meal for twenty-five cents"
 "Yes, sir"
 "Ycu do not know Colonel Gladrock, see."
 "No, sir"
 "l am Colonel Gladrock."
 "Ah, colonel, l am glad to meet you"
 "Don't mention it. Now, sir, to be frank with you, have about spent all my money buying vstes-sh say nothing in this race, and have decided to take my meals at cheap place. am not a very hearty eater, and you will have but little trouble in supplying my wants"
 Grindly sat down at table and or. dered supper. Sewed to the inside of his coat-not u1like Jack the Giant killer he carried waterproof bag. A mo- ment or two after the meal was brought, he poured his coffee in the bag and or dered another cup. The walters, who had been apprised of his greatness were anxious to serve him, and within short time, another cup of coffee had been poured into the bag"
 "Bring me another cup of coffee" ]" said he. " "Ah." addressing waiter, when a man beats me drinking coffee, he must throw of the covers at very early heur."
 Another cup was brought, and, stealing an opportunity, he poured it into the bag.
 "I'd rather not have his patronage" said the proprietor to his wife, after the personator of the coming statesman had stored away eight cups of coffee. "I never saw anything like it. See, he has ordered another one. l can't stand it,"
 @For goodness sake, don't say any thing" replied his wife. He'n stop after a while."
 "Yes, so will if he keeps on that way. He's done. All he can do to button his coat"
 ~Here's your quarter, my good man," said Grindly approaching the desk. "Very good meal assure you. Coffee might have been little stronger, but got along 6rst-rasc."
 Why, here's Colonel Gladrock," ex- claimed fellow, rushing in and seizing Grindly's hand. |" My dear colonel, a party of gentlemen are expecting you. Suppose we go."
 Shortly aher they had passed out quiet looking man entered the restaurant and asked:
 "Wasn't Colonel Giadrock in here just now7"
 Yes, jsst vent out."
 "I thought this must be the place he was talking about Just nov as passed him he was making fun of your restaur- ant. Said that your coffee was not it to drink and that he vas going to tell the members of the legislature not to come hereS
 The restaurant man raved. "Why, conSound him he drank nine cups of coffee just now."
 @Oh not that many, reckon."
 "l say he did"
 !" Nine cups; almost incredible"
 SIT swear to it."
 q It's a good joks. Say, wiI you make an affidavit to that elfectaS