Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-08-06
Hapside 6atkerings.
A SNAKE STORY.

ooh, Jack, you're making fun of me;
| But say, what kind do women see?'
| "Hoop snakes and garters. I believe ~
The one who saw them first was Eve'
"oh now blushed Kate, SHAT isn't fair
Twas Adam who saw the snakes in there,
| For didn't he, when Eve came back
Take rather too much apple, JackY
H. c. Dodge,
1t is easier to tell lie than it is to catch
a fish.
The question of the hour-"What time
is it?"
"A girl should marry for protection in
stead Of for revenue only. 81.
A man who abides in penitentiary is a
law abiding citizen.
A soft answer turneth away wrath, but
club keeps it turned away.
The way to make an overcoat last is to
make the undercoat first.-Lynn Union.
= A man who is poor liar finds it con-
venent to stick to the truth.-Ierds SJt'ngs.
1t is the man who has the most property
that has the greatest will power.-LoUat
Courier.
There isn't so much atmospheric depres-
sion when a pie is formed as there is when
form is pied.-Bar6er's Gazette.
Some youths shave against the beard,
while others shave down only Waterloo
Observer.
A bridge should never be condemned
until it has been tried by its piers.-Boston
Courier.
Women are not inventive as rule.
They have no eagerness for new wrinkles
Ne,0 Orleans Picayat'ee.
A poet claims that nothing is warmer
than Woman's love. Woman's love never
reaches to her feet then.-iT. Paul Herald.
- Miss-fortunes come to some men when
they get married, and they don't mind it a
bit.-1Sras Settings. : : 80
"A man who some time ago married IAN
angel" says it is about as complete faith
cure as anything he ever heard OF.
1t is an odd excursion that does not yield
five dollars worth of misery for the one
dollar planted.-NeaD Orleans Picayune.
Man was born in an Eden, and ne has
been needin' creature ever since.-Ctracira-
natl Merchant Traveller. ....
In the early Eden time domestic tran
guilty was never disturbed by a dispute as
to who should wear the breeches.- Yonkers
Gazette.
"Time works wonders" says young
man of twenty-seven when he returned
home and found his eldest sister only eigh-
teen.-'S. Paul Herald.
-Soggy pie is mentioned as one of the
causes of dyspepsia. One of the causes of
soggy pie is young married women.-Co,-
7'ier-J Journal.
Thirteen has always been an unlucky
number. Adams thirteenth rib was the
cause of all his troubles.-S. Paul Herald.
An "offensive partisan" is fellow who
insists upon staying in an office that some
other fellow wants.
"A new magazine is called the Woman's
Aqe. This is unfortunate. It will never
become generally known.-New York Jour-
nal.
A wicked little boy says that home with
out a mother would be solid picnic all the
week.
A summer resort circular says: "No-
body dresses here" A sort of African wa
tering place.
A philosopher says "Man was born to
rule in this world" 1t is believed that the
philosopher was never married.-8rook(yn
Times.
Every building in Dakota town was
blown away by a cyclone, except the court
house and a saloon. This put the town back
to just what it started with.
A novel soon to appear will be entitled
ga Superior Woman" We all know her.
She married some other fellow. They al
ways do.-Graphic. ,'.- ...-..-...-.--.-.--......
Teacher -"Can you tell me which is the
olfactory organ?' Pupil frankly answers:
"No, sir" Teacher Pupil goes
off in brown study.-Iranscript.
A man may be loaded to the eyes with
philosophy, and yet become as helpless as
d child when he tries to get the last word
with woman.
The hen may be negligent of her duties
during the winter weather, butshe general
ly manages to come up to the scratch in the
time of spring gardening.-Sytings.
(which would you rather have-a lit
tie brother, or little sister ?" asked Mrs.
Simpleton of her little boy Tommy. "Oh,
ma, don't let US have either of them, chill
dren are such aSnuisance about the house."
1t is said that the cholera never attacks
man with a wife and five or more chill
dren. This would 60 to show that nature
never hits man when he is down.
1t is said that there can be found peo-
pie in this country who never saw a postage
Stamp. This may be true, but no one ever
saw woman who could not tell how an
other made her new basque.-Boston Post.
1.-THE tendency to do wrong increases to-
ward night" says we'll known clergy
man. I think this is very likely to be true,
for when Adam ate the forbidden fruit it
was near Eve.-Boston Times.
- "One of these dollars is counterfeit
ma'am." '"HoW can you tell? "Simply
by sound. Just tap it and hear how clear
the genuine sounds. That's tenor. Notice
when I tap the other one. That's base."-
SJtings.
AN Iowa Judge has decided that man
is in duty bound to tell his wife when he
is away from home. This decision is all
right up to certain extent, but suppose the
man doesn't know! .... ..,..s
-'Run for the doctor, quick! Help !!
Help! Dot baby has swallowed nickel!"
exclaimed Mrs. Schaumburg. "Grade
schmoke, you make SO much fuss as If it
was twenty dollar gold piece. Be calm,
Repecca ?" replied Mose.-Sytings.
-"Now, then, John," said the restaurant
keeper to his boy, "bring out those sand
wiches we put up last winter. Here's big
order come in to supply the Sunday school
picnic. ."-BoSton Courier.
- 1t is said that much suffering is caused
an animal by defective shoeing: This will
shoe hen. The poor bird does not know
which way to go.-Boston Post.
- You might as we'll undertake to varnish
rainbow or try to stampede hunger with
dime with hole in it, as expect to pre-
vail on man to own up to his wife that he
has been in the Chicago Ledger.
Little inquisitive- Harry, "what was
that fuss in the garden ?" Master Harry
"Mother was throwing stones at the speck-
led hen.' "Gracious me! Weren't you
afraid of getting hit ?" ooh, no, kept near
the hen. .''-EhiadeLohia Cul.
In these days the young woman must
reflect seriously as to whether she would