davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
BULLETIN
roF-
Lansburgh & Bro
READ CAREFULLY.
Another Grand Move Toward
an Increase in Business.
READ CAREFULLY.

We are now building an extension of 3ox
III feet to our already magnificent establish
ment, which, when finished, will give us the
finest Show Rooms in the United States, We
have the finest Electric Light IN the country
making at night our entire building as bright
as the finest day in sunlight, No heat of gas,
or from the engine running TIE Slectric Light
as one would imagine, bec$ho the store is
cooled by 10 large Patent fans, distributed
throughout the building, making breeze
equal to that felt on one of our steamers while
sailing against the wind on the Potomac. All
of this is worth seeing, and you are cordially
invited to come and enjoy the breeze, whether
or no you wish to purchase. We have come TO
the conclusion that we have more goods aud
less money than we want to carry out our new
enterprise of running our building through to
Eighth street We shall open this now ad-
dtion, with new goods only. We shall com.
mence to run off our present stock, without
regard to cost Our assortment Is large much
larger than necessary to carry. We will, must
and shall sell. Call and be convinced that 1t
is pleasure to deal with LANSBURGH N
BRO. No Misrepresentation are made. Every
article is guaranteed as represented or money
refunded.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
A Reform with a Reservation.

\ good old deacon in Connecticut wal
very pious and very fond of clans. When
once upon a time he attended a Rhode
Island clambake, he oyertaxed his ca
pacity and was sOrely distressed. But his
Faith in prayer was unabated. Leaving
the party, and going down, ON his knees
Forgive me, o Lord, this great sin of
gluttony. Restore my health, and | will
never eat any more clans" Then, after u
judiciouspause, Very few, ifany, Amen"
In, .. pIoayune.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
An Eighth Cousin TO Mr.. Cleveland.

Postmaster w. Il. Clark of Woodhaven
j. l., has discovered that, as descendant
~ the Hyde family, President Cleveland
is eighth cousin to former Governor Tracy
of Connecticut, the late General Sedgwiok,
General John Pope Judge Selden, and the
of descent. But it is not thought at
Woodhaven that the postmaster will come
under the ban of nepotism, He is Re
publican all OYer.-LN. Y. Sun.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
DRoPOsAIS FOR GENERAL SUPPLIES
i FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA.
OFFICE OF THE .ENGISRER COMMISSIONER,
..-I.......u..... - Mar .l- 1 SA-

WASHINGTON, d, @, May u, 1855.
by direction of tile Board of Commissioners,
sealed proposals will be received at this office
until II O'Clock m, ON MONDAY, JUNE 10,
1855, for furnishing the yalou branches of
the District government with general supplies,
comprising Stationery, Blank Forms and Print
ing, School Books, Furniture, Hardware Tin
ware, and Street Lamps, Plumbers Material,
Groceries, Boots and Shoes, Drugs, Glass,
Paints and Varnishes, Lumber Forage, Meats,
Castings Fuel, Dry Goods Cement and Lime,
Blank forms and proposals, together with all
information, can be obtained upon application
therefor at Room II, Columbia Building 4lS
81. n. W.
The right is reserved to reject any or all bids
OF parts of bids.
g. j. LYDECKER,
Major of Engineers U. :. A.,
my29-l0t Engr Commissioner ID. q,
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
PROPOSALS.
DERsoNAL TAXES. ~aa.aa
AssEsson's OFFICE, d, c.,

WASHINGTON G. c., June l. 1855.
Taxpayers on personal property are hereby
notified, in obedience to law that they are
required to make out and return to this Office
a statement of their personal property, under
oath. within forty-iye days from this date, and
I'M default of such return the Assessor Is re-
quired by law to make out such statement
from the best information that can be obtained,
and add thereto penalty of 90 per oentum.
Blank schedules can be obtainedgaat this
Office,
BY order Of the Commissioners of the Dis
tiict OF Columbia.
ROBERT p. DODGE,
1e1.Bt Assessor, ID. G.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

800 pieces Beautiful Satteens at i2Hc
800 4" Extra Fine at lSc
800 /" Finest, Figured Batste, Ice
These are good value at 25c per yard.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

THE great danger OF overwork receives
n new illustration in the case of the Louis
vile cashier, who was found in Omaha
the other day with his mind completely
unbalanced and his account overdrawn
about $4,000. Little eccentricities like
these furnish powerful argument against
imposing too much hard labor upon bank
cashiers.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

THE Salvation Army has moved upon
Washington at last. The Captain says he
has been ordered here to capture souls.
There are good many offensive Republi-
comparisons and disappointed Democratic
oflice-seekors in town, with q far-away,
mourner s-bcnch sort Of look about the
eyes, who are doubtless open to negotia-
tions, provided that the Army will throw
in the requisite number of railroad passes.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

A FRIEND asked Colonel Bob Ingersoll
what handsome set of Voltare's works
in his library cost him, and the latter re-
lied, "The Governorship of Illinois,
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
EDUCATIONAL.


- UsINEss EDUCATION for young and mid
ID die aged men and women. Spring and
summer sessions Of the Spencerian Business
College, corner Ninth and d sts n. W. Rapid
writing, bookkeeping, rapid calculations, Eng
lish language, stenography, type-writing, ETC.,
thoroughly taught. Tuition: Year from date
OF entrance, day or night, $50; three months,
day, 500; night, SD; one month, day, ";
night, So. Rapid writing only IL lessons So.
Call or send for circulars.
HENRY O. SPENCER, Principal.
SARA A. SPENCER, vice-Principal.
NORWOOD INSTITUTE, 1912 AND 1914
~ 14th st., near 14th.st. Circle. Select BoardS
ing School for young ladies'. Session $3.50
opens September 80, 1886. Early application
necessary, as number OF boarders will be
limited.
TNHE HOWE BUSINESS SCHOOL, GIT SEv.
l. enth street u. W., short, condensed course
In practical bookkeeping, rapid penmanship
and English branches at moderate rates OF
tuition. Morning, afternoon and night see-
sions. Civil-Service preparation speciality.
Shorthand, ElocutiOn and Mathematics by
special teacher.
ap30-tf J. II. BRYANT, Principal.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

Marine Bandand the people are to be
congratulated upon the excellence of this
popular and Democratic entertainment.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
DRoPosALs FOR STATIONERY.


WAsHfNGTON, ID. g., May ~, 1855.
Sealed proposals will be received at this de-
paltment until IL O'Clock m. ON Wednesday,
June "a, 1885, for furnishing Stationery for
the use Of First and Second Class Postofiices
for one year from July /, 1885
Blank forms Of proposals showing the items
and estimated quantities required, together
with circular relating thereto, viii be fur
nished on application TO this Department.
Proposals should be addressed To the First
Assistant Postmaster-Ge General, and indorsed
Proposals for stationery
The Postmaster General reserve the right
TO reject any on all bids.
WM +. Villas,
nyl5 -2taw,4w Postmast0r General.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
FOR EXCHANGE.

WTANTED-TO EXCHANGE NEW STOVE
w for old ones at Buffers Stove Exchange
corner 9th and X SITS. Smoky chimneys cure6
or no pay. Stoves exchanged for grocerie
Old stoves bought.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

Miss PHOEBE CoUzINs of st. Louis,
Deputy United States Marshal for the
Eastern district of Missouri is in the city,
and has resumed her pleasant relations
with the Administration which she
maintained 50 successfully for several
weeks following the Inauguration. Miss
Phoebe's father is the Marshal for Eastern
Missouri, and was appointed by President
Arthur. Several envious Democrats are
already anxious to succeed him, but if
they imagine that Miss Phoebe doesn't
stand solid at the White House, they
should have seen the greeting she received
from Miss Cleveland on her arrival. The
Attomey-General, it is said, fairly beams
with delight when Miss Deputy Couzins
calls representing her father in the
transacting of official business.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

IT0R RENT--FURNISlIED THE HAND
II some property cor 10th and n sts II, w,
1901. The furniture Is newand the house lately
papered throughout. For further information
and permission TO see the property apply to o.
G. Green SOB 1th ST. n. W, my2S2w
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

100 pieces CoIored Nuns Yelling,
yard wide, at I2Hc
100 pieces Colored Lace Bunting,
yard wide, at i2Hc
The regular price of these goods is dOc. They
are the greatest bargains ever offered, and
must be closed
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

Persons ledping ne city for ne summer can
haze Tng CRITiC mailed 10 Meiy address al 10
cents per month, postage pdd.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
PERSONAL.

CoPIEs or NEW INVENTION GIVEN
~ away to learn to sing and play piano
and organ quick by note. 1907 Il ST.; please
call ie6-3tf
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08
WANTED HELp...FEMALE.

Advertisements Of Three Lines under this head
inserted three times for 2b cents.
The Washington critic., 1885-06-08

In sums TO suit at per cent.
The above is only small portion OF property
on my books. For full list call at office for bule-
tins issned on At and 18th.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

bin, fie um5ublaien unb ben biirren
9tamm abaubre9en, barauf fugelt iie
fid berum BEL iebem WinofoBe unb
ma6t, Danf ibrer 2ei6tigfeit unb gla=
iti5itdt eine &eibe bon @priingen iiber
alle ibr i'm Wege itebenben @teine o6er
8iii6e. Sci itarfem @inoe tanm man
fb bas pbantaitil6e S9aulpiel bot
itellen, tpel6es cine Menge bieier &u=
geln BON ben beri6iebeniten @r6Ben
auffiibrt!
Ser Meni6 pfleet iebes Sing bonn
Stanbpunfte Der Niibli6feit fir i'm
felbft gu betradten, tpirb aber i9merli6
bic g}otbmenbigfeit Bet @riftens bes
Wirbelfrautes iiberbaupt begreifen f1nz
nen. Do6 iebem eri6affenen 9inge
i6eint ein fortpdbren6es 9treben, feline
9lrt fortaupfan5en, inne3utpobnen. IS
brau9en tpobl faum geiipiele bieies
@trebens angefiibrt gu tperben, benm
ielblt in ben Stdbten liefern bic 8dume,
3. 9. Der Ailanthus nit ieinem befiiiz
gelten SametL einen 8etpeis 6afiir.
Das pbantaitiibe unb i6einbar birn>
loie Wirbeln, Gollen unb 9iipfen bes
gSlrtelfrautes, re9t betra6tet, ersdblt
bic Gei6i9te elmer eigentbiimli6en Me=
tbDbe Der Samenberbreitung.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31
Eeras.

= Ser GourtDri6ter Mic&ee bon
Guadalupe County bat BEN MaDor bom
Seguin, foiuie BEN ftdotii@en Maribal
Inn $25 geitraft unb ins s@efdngniB
iteden lafien, neil iie ein bon ibm ges
fdlltes l1rtbeil ni6t anerfennen tpollten.
9ie SaGe tpurbe bur6 einen farbigett
&naben Namens Il. 6. Grant berborz
gerufen, Der iiber bic Sens bes Court
bauies fletterte. Ser MaDor lieB bet1
Sungen berbaften unb 1trafte i'm. Oaz
rauf appelirte Bet lebtere an bas Goums
tDgeri6t un0 tpur6e in Sreibeit geiebt.
Sen MaDpr berbrDB bies unb ct lieB
BEN Sungen ipieberum berbaften. Saz
riiber tpurbe nun aber Der GountDri6z
ter 5ornig unb Der Mapor muBte ins
@efangniB fpa5ieren.
= Die beiben einaigen Solsgebdube
in Der @ongreB Npenue gu Nuitin, bas
Starr GeItaurant unb @otparbs 8u9s
Store finb abgebrannt.
Mus benz @efdngniB in Montgos
r1erD entipramgen 8 @efangene. @inen
bapon bat man tpieoer erniid)t.
= Son eir1em Biirger in 6ouitoa
tpllrbe cine 9iibnerbieb=Salle erfunben,
bic fid bemdbrt bat. Ser betreffenbe
8irger fanb fiir3li6 spei abgef6nittene
Singer zines farbisene Siebes in ber=
Ielben.
- Priee GroB in @albeiton peitldte
i'm Werein NIT einent SSreun6e einen
iungen Mann Namens palmer burd],
na9oem fie ibm borber Die 9dnbe au=
lammen9ebunben batten. Sie @ei6i6te
ereignete fi9 am Stranbe unb palmer
tpurbe ber Sortltr untermorfen, neil er
GroB's Grau ettuas gu farr angeblidt
bate. .
= @alpeiton 1T f6on ieit auei @oz
den our6 Seufelsfi6e beunrubigt
tnorben, bod mOllte man es i'm 2an6e
ni9t glauben. SEPT bat man aber Elm
iol9es ungetbiim mittelit Qarpune ge=
fangen unb es bor bem 8ea6s6otel sur
S9au ausgeitelt. 9as Sbier 1T 16
SUB lang.
Gin Gartner Namens 2awrence
IN Srantlin @ountp purbe pl6bli9 bers
baftet, tpeil man in ibm einen emit flobe,
men 3u9tbausitrdf fling ertannte. 2aius
renee bate bor Z Sabren in 2ibertD
Gountp einen Mann ermorbet.
: Ser Garbise Soparb bon Marz
lbal erbielt, als er auf Der StraBe in
Jort Wort9 ltanb, pl6bli1 einen S9uB,
Der tbn tDbtli6 iberpun6ete. 9lls Sbd=
ter melbete ii6 Der Garbige Woobwaro,
Der nit einem &ebolper geipielt bate,
nobel it9 berielbe entlub.
= in Orange f6lug ber 8lib tiir5=
ll9 in bier berf6ieoene @ebdube unb
teBte Das cine babon in 8ranb.
Ser Selegrapben=8eamte CHARLES
g8llltam gu @aobo bate li6 auf Der
ylatform bes @iienbabn Depots gum
S9lafen niebergelegt. Qdbrenb bes
S9lafes muB ct benz &anbe Der plat.
form INNER ndber geriidt iein, 0 baB
er BON einem 3uge erfaBt, berunterges
riRen uno set6bet murbe.
2uling bat feinen erlten gallen
8aummolle erbalten, Der gu 10 @ents
bas pfunb perfauft purbe.
- Sir bic pafante Stelle bes S1uls
Superintenbenten in 9ouiton Iino 26
Npplifationen eingelaufen.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

anbern @ldubiger, bic bieour9 perfiir5t
tporben, mar bic Sadie ans 2tdt ge=
fommen. Serbi6 tpurbe iuspenbirt,
iebo9 in Greibeit belaKen. Gin bleiz
benber S6abe ertpuds ben @ldubigen
ni6t, ba bic @6peiter inatpii6en Dem
0ertpalter ber &onfursmai5e ben bollen
8etrag er1tattet bate. Glei9mobl be-
antragte ber &eferent, bic bolle 9trenge
5es @eIebes malten gu laf1en un6 ben
iungen 8eatttten ni9t Bios bes 9lmtes
su entieben, ionoern au6 ungeidumt
6em @trafgeri9te gu iibergeben.
Ser Prd1ioent bate ben langen Be-
ri6t regungslos angeb0rt. Sour einnlal
bate ct fi9 erboben, ben 2ampeni6irm
70 5ure6t gu riiden, baB fein Sc eli6t in
tiefem S9atten blieb. Damn fellte er
bic Srage, ob bas &ollegium Ben Nn>
seflasten pernebmen uolles 9enn es
NOR bieau feinesmegs berpfli9tet, tppbl
aber bere6tigt, unb barum mar aud
9erbi6 bon Der Stunbe ber 8eratbung
nit Ser Weiiung bertdnoigt tporoeu,
fi6 I'M @eri6tsbaufe einaufinoen.
Ser Tefefent 1pra@ 1t0 ableDnenD
aus. 9lnbers ter 8otant Baron Ser
negg, ein bebabiger Mann nit breitem,
tpoblmonenbem @eli6te. Sbm f6eine,
| fiibrte ct aus, bic 8ernebmung gebp=
ten, neil lie alein b6llige Glarbeit iiber
bic Motibe ber Sbat gepdbren f6nne.
Beibe 9erren fanben ie einen @enoiien
ibr &nii9t, unb bic Gnti6eioung lag
baber an BEN prdiioenten. Nber Diefer
| 56gerte lange, Big ct enbli6 NIT gez
preBter 9timme fagte: 9lu9 mir er=
| f9eint es meni9li9 unb billig, BEN l1n=
gliidli6en su b6ren.
(Gortiebuns folgt.)
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31
8i6tis fiir 4uswanberer.
@rOBe BreisermaBisuns in Der l1eberiahrt.

Ser l1nterseibnete iit erma9tist YaGase.
f@eine, freie 8efoftisuns einseidloFen, BON 8re.
men iiber 9aSre unb Nntperpen mad Gan an>
onio fur $44.15 altsaufellen.
Ser Treis fir bic @eife bon Gan Gntonio
mad oben senannten Safen, incl. 8efofisuns,
$52.Ss.
Gerner rebusirte giienbabnraten mad allen
Orten in Deutf6lano, Sdpeis Danemarf unb
Granfreid.
Naberes gu erfabrsn bel
s. @rie enb ID,
22,1,tutu 4sai1ase. asent, San Nntonio.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

= @irf ni6t 6ein @elb binmeg un6
laufe ni6t @efabr 6einem 0aare bas
bur6 S6aben 5u bringen, baB bu nubz
loie 9aarmaher unb Oele faufeit, fon=
bertt f9atte Dir etDas an, bas fi@ einen
Namett ertporben fat, unb bas, tpie
iebermann tpeiB, 5uoerldiiig 1T. Sails
9aar=Grneuerer belebt, fdrft unb perz
f96nert bas 9aar, felt, tpenn es gez
blei6t iit, feline Garbe wieber ber, unb
ma6t es tuei6, ieioenartig unb gldnz
aenb.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

Die
w66entltebe Treie Nreie
erideint
ieben Dcnnerfas
unb fcitet
$3.50 bas Sabr pber $1.25 far 6
Wcnate in IOrausbe3ahlans.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

= Sic: yWeibt 9u, Gerbinanb,
na66em mir berlobt linb, biit 9u mir
gerabeau Elm &atbfel." ct: uDu mir
aud, aber ein ungeratbenes." = sic !:
nSo2 Stun, bann f6nnen mir ia bic
Mufl0ung balo folgen la1en."
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

= @af: uSie baben mir bier auf
bic He6nung gefeBt: Papier 20 pfens
mig, pdbreno Sic mir iiberbaupt fein
Papier geliefert baben."
&elner: pgerseibung, mein 6err,
bas 1T bies papier bier, auf oem
5 bre Ge9 nung gei9rieben it,"
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

Gin befannter Sournalif er5dblte
neuli6, oaB ibm beim @enuB elmer
Yfetfe S9marsen &eiters bon Gail &
W ni9t nur bic Soeen gu ieinen 9lrtiz
feln tpie bon ielbft fdmen, ionbern Iid6
tpie bon felbit gu orbnen I9ienen.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

: 9altet fets quite 9ausmittel sum
8ebrau9e bereit. 9r. Nugut 6 b.
nigs 6amburger miIien>
Wt e B iainen empfeblen fic6 Ielbf,
ST. alen Ipotbeten gu baben.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31
81 uS her g mufe &

4ns Ser 6 6ule. 2ebre,
= Wir wofien iebt bonn llriprunge Beg
Observation-Disclosures fpre9en. Was
tpiBt Sbr bariiber?"-@in g 9iiIer:
yMein 8ater iast, mir ftamnlem BON
Mffen ab"-2ebrer: r8om foI9eu
Musn a B mef dllen brau9en tpi,
bier ni6t gu fpre9en."
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1885-07-31

= 9ein Mitel 1T gu perglei6en nit
oem beriibnten S9mer3enbeilmitel St.
Safobs Del. Saufenbe uno aber tau=
ienbe beroanfen oieier Nraenei lire @e=
1unobeit.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-21

to make it much lighter than the founda-
ton, but as it was to support weight OF
strawberries he fancied that it must be very
strong. This strength he sought to obtain
by thickness, and, indeed, did obtain it;
but among medical men it is question
whether the hard under crust or the thick
upper crust is the more swiftly fatal.
This upper crust or roof was in the origi-
nal plan to be supported upon ripe straw
berries. 1t was found, however, that ripe
strawberries were too weak to bear the
weight. The device of very tough and I'M
ripe strawberries as supports for the roof
was therefore adopted. As the shortcake
had by this time become entirely unfit for
food, the upper layer of Strawberries was
converted into a purely decorative feature,
and this feature was made severely simple
by limiting the number of strawberries to
not more than one berry to the inch. The
result is the strawberry shortcake as we
now have tan architectural and dietary
monstrosity.
Now, an able architect would have seen
that the shortcake required no foundation
except the surface of the plate on which it
rested. He would have built a series of
light and graceful pie-crust piers, connected
by arches, to support a light upper crust.
This would have been strong enough to
support layer of strawberries, since the
weight of the latter would have really been
born by the arches and distributed among
the piers. Ripe strawberries could thus
have been used in the interior of the short
cake, and we should have had structure
worthy to rank with the noblest works of
man., Even now it is not too late for a
renaissance in shortcake which might
supersede the present atrocious and fatal
structure.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-21
Strawberry shortcake.

new Ork 1luOSs
The inventor of strawberry shortcake
meant well, but he builded great deal
worse than he knew. His central idea. a
combination of strawberries and pie crust
was original and praiseworthy. but the
embodiment Of the idea was a disastrous
failure, for the reason that he knew little of
architecture.
The inventor wished to construct super
structure OF pie crust, resting upon straw
berries. and in its turn supporting straw
berries. Had this idea in its original sim
plicity been carried out with ripe berries
and light pie crust the result would have
been admirable, but unfortunately the in
ventor lacked the technical knowledge
necessary to the successful embodiment of
his conception.
Reasoning from the analogy furnished
by the great cathedrals of the world. he de-
c1ded that his structure, must rest ON a
broad and solid foundation, This was his
first mistake. The foundation was made to
rival granite in hardness and solidity. and
though it undoubtedly would sustain a
weight of twelve tons of strawberries to the
square inch it is, if anything more indigest-
ible than granite-that is, the Egyptian
variety of granite. 1t is occasionally
broken up and eaten by an ignorant and
hungry man, whose ensuing death is usually
ascribed by the attending physician to a
combination of cholera and govt in the
stomach.
The upper layer Or roof of pie crust was
made of materials different from those of
the foundation. The inventor at first meant
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-21
Male Vanity.

It was at ball and the subject under dis
cussion was vanity. A lady maintained
that men were also given somewhat to van
ity.
1.-THE men are ten times more vain than
the ladies'" she remarked.
"That's impossible" said several gentle
men,
"The subject changed, and few min
utes later the lady remarked:
''The handsomest man in the room has a
spot on his white vest" whereupon every
gentleman within hearing glanced down
with a scared expression of countenance at
his vest.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-21
Patience a Virtue.

Bill Blount was selected by the Austin
Debating society to deliver an address on
the subject, of moderation. Bill has en-
joyed classical education, and is a good
hearted fellow, but he is little hot headed.
This is the way he began his address:
Ladies' and gentlemen-Moderati in
all things-shut that door, will you?
Moderation, ladies and-the door; l say,
shut that door. Moderation in all things is
will you, or will you not, you blank, adj
dle-pated fool, shut that door? Moderation
in all things is virtue"
Just then another late conner opened the
door, and we shot out.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-21

Insanity is on the increase. Statistics
show this Many cases are brought on by
overwork, anxiety, excitement, mental
trouble and nervous prostration; it is also
inherited. Invariably sleeplessness and
constipation manifest themselves before one
becomes insane. Constipation induces dys-
pepsia, jaundice, bad breath, piles, pimples.
low spirits, headache, etc. DR.. Jones' Red
Clover Tonic relieves constipation, thereby
curing these diseases. Price, SO cents. p.
j. Dleis.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-21
The Chicauo sunday Tribune.

A special Sunday edition of the Chicago
Tribune, intended exclusively for North
western readers, will reach st. Paul to-day
at noon. This edition of the Chicago Sun
day Tribune will contain all the papers in
teresting features, with a complete sum-
mary of current events through Minnesota
from the papers special correspondents.
The paper will be for sale by all newsdeal-
ers at noon to-day.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-21

The average length of life is on the in
crease The science of medicine has made
great progress; many diseases are now con-
trolled that were formerly thought incura-
BILE. The greatest discovery is DR.. Bige-
lows Positive Cure, which cures consump-
ton in stages that other remedies are OF no
benefit. Coughs, colds, Group, whooping
cough, bronchitis and all throat and
lung diseases speedily and safely. Price.
SO cents and 81. Trial bottles free. P. J.
Dreis.