The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1885-08-02
THREE RUNS.
A Little Good Advice which we Hop,
will be Needed.

~
A Little Good Advice which we Hop,
will be Needed.
Written for THE PALATKA NEWS.
There are three things which most peo
pic think they can run. \ newspaper, {
railroad, an orange grove. The news
paper is placed first because more people
claim that they can run this enterprise
Mr.. Notion will take up the morning
News and look over the local columns.
If he finds a five-line local of himself OF
his business, or his home, or future in
tentions, it is astonishing how rapidly
the mercury in tho thermometer of his
opinion-bobs up. He is anxious to tell
everyone that THE NEWS is improving
with each issue, and it is surprising how
such a lively and interesting paper can
be made in such a town. If it fails to
mention him or his personal interest but
kindly notices his sister, his cousins, or
his aunts, the mercury does not indicate
SO high point but the opinion is rather
warm. If, however, that issue has a
f1attcring notice of some one Mr.. Notion
dislilIes, some opponent for office or place,
some competitor in business or trade, the
mercury suddenly drops to solidity, and
with emphasis he remarks:
If I couldn't run a better paper you
can shoot my haiti"
Mr.. Ficklehead is building new cot
tage on the outskirts a little beyond the
daily haunts of THE NEWS reporter. Mr..
f. will search every day the columns of
THE NEWS for a notice of his new enter
prise which the paper would be glad to
do if it had the facts. Mr.. F. passes THE
NEWS Office frequently but never drops
in to say Good morning, Mr.. Editor. /
am putting up a cottage on the corner of
1881 street and Lemon avenue. If you
should pass that way drop in and see
what We are doing. Come and get ac-
quainted with our section and see how
rapidly it is improving" If he would do
this we could get the facts for publica-
ton and would be glad to do SO. He
meets the reporter at the postoifice, at
the court house, on the street, and never
mentions it but will say behind his back,
"Well, don't know all there is to be
known, but if could not get up a live
lier paper and publish all the improve
ments going on, you may saw my leg off
with bar of soft soap"
We remember that once upon a time
when we were running the Bugle Horn
Mr.. Adam GoOdfellow rushed into the
office, laid upon the desk box of cigars,
and exclaimed: ''Last night! Boy! Ten
and half pounds! Mother and child
doing well! Pap, 0. k And he
rushed out. We took one of the cigars,
lit it, and wrote:
"H1PPY AGAIN.-On Thursday night
a young stranger appeared at the resi-
dence of Adam Goodfellow and de-
manded adoption. Mrs. G. had strong,
motherly feeling for him and Adam, gave
his consent. Our readers will be glad 20
learn that mother and child are doing
well, and Adam is expected to recover in
few days. May peace, joy and happi-
ness reign in tho home of Goodfellow
is the wish of the Bugle Horn.''
The day after the above was printed
lady came into the office and asked: lis
this the the Editor:' "Yes'm. 1 have
the honor to occupy that unenviable and
humble position ''How much does
Mr.. George Crossgrit owe you for the
Bugle Horn?' The subscription book
was hunted up and examined. ''$2 to
date" we answered. She took from her
pocket book a Sc bill that had been
around the world, laid it on the desk,
and said, ''You may stop the Bugle Horn
until otherwise ordered" and she gave
lis a meat axe look "Yes'm," was our
solitaire. The lady still fingered and
there seemed to be something heavy on
her mind which she wished to unload.
She looked like Hamlet's ghost in the
first scene and wanted to speak but
could not Shs fiercely lifted her head
and asked:
do you know why we have stopped
the .Bugle Horn?" Madam, it is
matter of supreme Indifference to u.s."
and We rose up to the dignity of a pas
senger agent for a toy railroad. ''Why,
you have a perfect right to do SO and 1
sincerely hope you will not force me to