The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-05-02
The Gossiper.

And if by these tricks you should capture
heart
With womanv sweetness about it,
VIII you guard it, and keep it, and act til
good part
Well may bc you will-but doubt it.
The mugwamp roosts in the hollow log,
The sagwag sits in the tree
Whenever hear the hogwig sing,
My heart is sad in me.
Whenever the snagpop toots his too
To the wall of the migwag hen,
And the migfunl> chirps in the Silly night
You bet I'm lonely then.
*
am sitting, Mary, sitting
In our cabin in the lane;
And I'm looking, Mary, looking
At the cattle in the rain;
And see the water running
OF their skins that shine like silk;
And wonder muchly, Mary,
II it's that which spells the milk.
#*#
She can paint fancy screen
just the incest ever seen,
In style that all her culchawcd sct.cnchantS; ;
But, my friend, 'twiXt you and me
1t would chill a man to see
| How she Scws patch ON her old mans pants
Yes, we were a candidate. In an evil
moment we yielded to the soft persuasion
of "many friends" and allowed our name
to 90 before the public. The Office was
not paying one, to be sure, but then, "the
honos of the thing, you know" We had
always supposed that our qualifications, if
we had any, were not such as to DE in ac-
tive demand by the people; that if there
was anything for which we were specially
designed it was not to fill a public office.
But our friends soon convinced us to the
contrary. They brought out our good
points and showed them in Il light by
which we had never before viewed them,
and thoroughly convinced US that we alone
could fill the bill that we were wronging
the people and ouselves by refusing to &C
cept the office, and that the people had
long been waiting an opportunity TO show
their appreciation Of our worth by voting
for lis. They proved to us that the oppo-
sition candidate had not the ghost of Il
chance, and that he couldn't be elected
anyway.
Up to this time we had never mingled
in the strife of political canvass We had
never experienced the pleasure() of go
ing out among the sturdy yeomen of the
land and soliciting votes. We had never
felt the thrill of ecstatic emotion which
courses up and down the spinal column
while setting em up 20 the boys We
had never known the pure unauthorized
enjoyment of staying out at a ward caucus
until three o'clock in the morning, and
waking up next day with head on us as
big as a bushel basket We had never i'm.
agined the bliss of having forty ward poll
ticians of "inlloonCe" call upon us in day,
by twos and threes and tiveS to tender their
services "for consideration" We had,
therefore, missed all this fun, Other pc,
lltical battles we had viewed only from
afar off the eXcitement-the magnificent
sport of mlngling in the thickest of the
fight had never been ours
1t is different now, We have been there.
We have passed through the fight, but can
dor compels us to admit, not without a
scratch In fact our opponents majority
leads us TO believe thatwe received several
scratches mot rs wide as u barn door or
as deep as II well" but enough.
We are satisfied Our friends have eX-
planned to us exactly how we were beaten,
and that satisfies lis.
1t is very unsatisfactory to be beaten
and not know how il WAS done. Up to the
time the matter was explained 10 Us we
were undetermined how to feel over our
defeat, but the modvs operondi has been
demonstrated and We feel better. OF
course, the interests OF the people will suf-
fe. by the election of our opponent, but we
are not TO blame for that. We warned
them in time. We tolt them We were
much better qualified to serve them; that
they should consider the great sacrifice We
were making in offering to serve them;
that ii was fortunate thing for them to
have the privilege of voting for man so
we'll fitted to administer the office as we
were; that they might never have such
chance again. friends told them so,
But the people didn't understand it. 1t is
evident from their conduct CA election day
that they did not understand 1t. They
were willing to be convinced, but we were
too poor to convince them. We are sorry
extremely sorry that their interests
should be prejudiced in this manner, but
il is not our fault We were perfectly will
ling that they should elect us. We gave
them the chance and they would not, and
now their deeds be upon their heads"
If the country goes 10 ruin for lack of our
valuable services, let her go; we repeat it,
let her go! FIRST WARD.
SDtaking of the RI excursion to Chicago