The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-09-17
THE MERRY SIDE!

race-horse may beat his recofd-but lh'
Democratic party can't.
McCafTrey still seems TO think he can whir
Sullivan. He means that he can out-hug him
|
Eph. Holland, is running saloon in Wash.
ington c. H. But that is not the occasion o.
Hoadlys visit.
The Democracy feel that 'there is victory in
the air." But the trouble is, it will all be blown
away.
| If HoadIy will fire one hundred guns like his
first one, Wen cease to worry about the execu-
ton.
A Cincinnati paper reveals the dreadful fact
that a man was cut in the West End. This is
terrible.
The Democracy of jackson County, in NOM
mating ticket, were only "getting ready foI
the Fall trade.'
Song for the Salvation Army at Washington
c. H.: LET cares like wild deluge come, and
storms of sorrow fall.
The modern brick layer has improved over
the old style. He now puts a few bricks be-
tween the layers of mud.
Cooper is starting a Democratic paper in
/
| torials will doubtless be quite pointed.
| The custom of parents throwing an old shoe
after bridal party, should be done away with.
1t is an indication of thin sole.
There's big trouble about the Wellston Post
ofhce-but it's all on the outside. The man
who is in, isn't making any noise.
II
boy whose mother was scolding him. But ne
was ''thunder-struck" at the result.
A man who looked at the way things were
torn up, over at Washington, now calls his
wife "Cyclone,' for a pet name.
Everything has joyful aspect on wedding
day. Even the small boy filling the tin can
with pebbles, is suggestive of enjoyment
Hoadly has been over at Washington, view
ing the ruins. He wants to know how any
thing looks after being struck by a cyclone.
SIS
''Wewant oysters" sighs the local editor of tn e
Gallipolis Journal. Then why don't you go
and run your face for can or two.
The most contemplate fool yet discovered is
the fellow who gets drunk to go excur-
sion train. 1t would be no harm to kill him.
The ''pictorial press association" is still en-
deavoring to get picture of Maxwell, the all
legged murderer. Thus far, no two pictures bear
any points of 1ikness.
In the cyclone at Washington, the churches
were struck and the saloons spared. Perhaps
the fates consider that the saloons are killing
too many already
An old Democrat accounts for Hoadly, the
Democratic candidate, embracing the colored
men, on the ground that Glove is blind.'
"We're going to elect Hoadly!" says Demo-
cratic friend. Well, if you do, we will be like
old Major Hale used to say, you'll not do it
with our consent"
The Gallipolis Journal styles story which
we recently published concerning Gallia
County man, "a worn-o out story Of course it
is, or the Gallia man would hot nave gotten
hold of it.
Democratic papers in Virginia are bowling
that Democratic victory MUST be won. That
means that enough colored men must be killed
to make victory sure.
'After all, silence is not a evidence of worth.
There is great amount of blow and gas about
a furnace, but it gets there with it's work, all
the same.
There is one consolation left to those who are
enjoying these good Democratic times. The
assurance comes that the price of whisky is
coming down.
Hon. ]. A. Bingham declares that Japan is
making wonderful strides in progress and CIV
ilization. But it is only kind of galvanized
success, after all.
Hoadly did good turn for TiIden in 1876. it
seems that the old man should tap the barrel
now, and help George out. But perhaps Sam
my thinks the investment an unsafe one.
The only way to restore happiness to the
Democratic party is to defeat it. That party
cannot stand prosperity, and it is the extreme
of cruelty, friends, to permit this family fight
ing to go on longer than the next election.
The police of Jackson, Michigan, raided
gambling-den, and captured the Mayor and
some other city officials. The next thing in Or
der is for the Mayor to suspend the police.
Europe during the Ohio campaign. John has
already made one investment in Ohio politics,
and has no desire to be raided again.
That Hobol1en druggist who was gassing with
q crowd of loafers, and put the wrong kind of
medicine, poisoning two women, and after
ward tried to poison himself, made the usual
mistake. He ought to have poisoned himself
first.
Frank Adams and Edith shafn were to be
married in Dayton. The guests were assem-
bled but Edith went back on him, and Frank
tried to kill himself. Wrong again. The pro-
per thing to do, Frank, is to go off and marry
sombody else.
An old man named Bush, killed himself in
New York because he despaired of redeeming
the world on the Beecher and Ingerson plan.
If they right, what is the of worrying
about redemption at all?
"Old man." said an old Jackson County wo-
man, long time ago, when she beheld great
light at night, 'git up! git up! The day of judg-
ment is conner"
"Oh, shet up, ye ole fool ye, who ever heerd
o. the day o. judgment com in in the night?"
"Pa,' said little boy who was reading a pa
per, "what does it mean by saying a Receiver
was appointed for the firm which failed?"
alt means a man to receive all the money due
the creditors"
''Then what does he do with il?
"That depends upon how sharp he is.''
80
Wash. Sledge, colored sharper in Texas,
has been making money by selling printed
copy of letter, which he tells the people was
written by Jesus Christ and hid under rock on
Mount Calvary. This letter, hung up in the
house, would drive off all forms of disease.
Wash was arrested but the arrest was hardly
fair, as his remedy was less harmful, and about
sensible, as that of most travelling quacks.