davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
avoid Newspapsr Men"

II new 1Ork IlfneS.I
Wealth has its sorrows though unfor-
tunately l cannot pose as q personal authority
on the subject. Ex-Governor English, of
Connecticut, tells me all about it. A little
reference made recently in my hit and miss
chat concerning this ten times millionaire
and the ambitions of his friends, who name
him for q place in Clevelsnds cabinet, is
keeping him awake late those wintry nights
His mail has more than doubled, he saw.
during the past week or to, and be exhibited
to sympathizing reporter the other day a
big drawer filed with fresh letters, where in
every instance the writers were suggesting
how the governor might scatter some of his
shekels. He recited some Of the petitions
that come pouring in by every post
"Why, bless you everybody, including the
parsons, pursue me-" he said. @rve had any
number of missives from good church
people, unworidly deacons, praying me to
lift a caravan of church debts, to build an
infnity of sacred edifices I've boon re-
quested to establish donation fund for the
subjection Of Siberian fever. / could, If l
had Vanderbilt's millions, sink them all in
patent locks, safety combinations, lamps,
thimbles, and printing presses-not to speak
Of car couplings, Now, I'm getting pretty
oldish, and ! thought I'd drifted out Of poll
tics some years ago, and might now be al
lowed to rest quietly and take my ease. But,
behold, a scribe with the name of 'Hslston'
comes along and my ira nQuility is effectu-
ally disturbed. Avoid newspaper msn."
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
Measuring . Race Course.
tCincinnati Times-Star.1


The conventional line upon which a race
course or trotting track is measured is a,
three feet from the rail or pole, which for 6
running or trotting horse, under saddle, Is
correct, assuming him to maintain a uniform
line at that distance. A horse in harness
however, allowing for width Of sulky oil
wagon, can not with safety be driven in a
line less than six feet from the rail; thi
would make the distance over the ordinary
or accepted design of track of one quarter OF
a mile. turns Of SIS equal to Is feet 10 :;
inches. Then for horse trotting over suct
track in two minutes aud thirty seconds
there should be deducted from his time
half a second A double team would requir.
this distance Of six feet to be increased fully
one foot, il not more. When the time i
2:0S the deduction should be forty-six hun.
dredths Of a second. When the design of o
track is OF irregular contour. the increased
distance will vary with each design.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
"SCOTCHED SALMON"
A Brutal Mode Of Preparing a Fish fer
the Table.

A Brutal Mode Of Preparing a Fish fer
the Table.
(washington Cor. New York Tribunel
There Is here q set Of young men which
even In New York would pass for fast. They
spend great deal Of their time devi.ing new
means to crafty their palates One Of them
who has recently returned from Europe, had
there seen the scotching Of q salmon, and he
forthwith decided to show some of his friends
here a practical illustration of the process.
1t requires live fish To get 1t he sent to
Canada A splendid fellow. weighing about
twenty pounds, was caught for him in the
Rsstigouche river, packed in a water-tight
tub, and forwarded to Washington l would
not dare to say what it cost to send the fish
here. 1t was certainly not less than 5 q
pound. The most elaborate preparations had
been made to do justice to the process Of
cooking it.
A dozen or more of the young mans boon
companions were invited to witness the pro-
cess. At the proper time all assembled in
the kitchen, into which the tub containing
the salmon had been carried. On the range
stood copper boiler imported from England
for the purpoe Its inner sides were lined
at regular intervals with blades of steel as
sharp as knives The young man at once as
sumed direction Of matters Cold water,
was put, by his orders, into the boiler on the
.ansa and the aAlmmh 0nartArs ahanaAd
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08


"How do you manage to keep up the re
pairs on your hack when business is so dullln
was asked of hackman who was met in
front Of a 'carriage-shop the other day,
where he was having a new spring put In hi.
vehicle.
"Oh that's easy enough; We don't have t
foot any of the bills;' laughingiy Re.
sponded the Jehu- "I'n tell you, but you
mustn't give it away. You see, il We meet
with an accident any time during the night
we pick our way along until We come to q
new building in process Of erection.
Generally in cases Of this kind tho con-
tractor has the street strewn with material
and a red Light out Well, we send some ons
ahead to blow out the light, and then w
drive right In the midst OF the stuff, what
ever it may be. We begin to curse and
swear until an officer or some passer-by 4
attracted, and then we explain that We have
damaged our vehicle, and ask for their
names and address as witnesses The scheme
works like a charm, and when we present
our bill to the contractor, we never fail te
get our money. Why, the contractor who
built the Union depot was q mark for the
hackman, and know at least five broken
hacks he has paid to have repaired that
were broken squares away from the depot
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08

HO! WINTER
CMa1a Barrett Butler In The Curreotl
Hal Winfar hni Winfor

MARIA Barrett Butler in The Currentl
Hal Winter, hol Winter,
King Of the northern blasti
You meet Us all, you greet Us all,
With grip that freesss fast
In regal pomp you've gathsrsd up
Your royal robes Of snow,
And by their trailing men shall trace
Whatever ways you GO
Your grim retainers all, alacki
Make but a cruel train
OF biting sleet and singing winds
And ice and frozen rain
The rich with furs and blazing hearths
Your carnival may scorn.
While Mirth and Cheer may reign supreme
From wassail eve till morn
But hal Winter, no! Winter,
What about the Poori
Who've no stronSh hold against the cold,
No bribe or s3necure
To set at bay the singing day,
Or soften down the night
Who note the thickening window-pane,
With sinking hearts alright
Who draw their babies close and sing
Their shivering lullabys,
Then sleep and dream of steaming feasts
That hunger-sleep supplies
To wake at morn with shuddering sense
OF heightened fast and cold,
And find that gaunt-eyed Want hath wrought
tt trace within the fold.
Hal Winter, hol Winter,
Hard your reign on these;
God pity suchl and send warm hearts
To all who starve and freeza
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
GRANT AND WARD.

Tho Brokers' "Posit We, Peremptory"
Way-The General Later Triumphs-
I'Gath" in Philad ,lphia Timesl
] was talking to one Of Ferdinand wardi
business associates . day or two ago, and he
said to me: What do you think was in
Wards mind when he did that thingfr ]
made the remark that Ward had succeeded
in getting his name everlastingly in history,
because Of the rsnown of his victim. Gen
Grant; that as long as Gen. Grants life wa,
written or read Ward would be put down
there as his swindler. My acquaintance
looked at me little dazsd, and asked with
the most innocent faoe: @Do you think he
did it in order to have his name connected
with Gen. Grants in historyr
Said 1: "No, 1 merely remarked il he has
any pride Of character he had better shake
it off, because he Is going right down the
ages as the Judas to Grant. Now, sir wha.
do you think Of Wardi Did you ever talk
to himl' asked. "Yes, l did; he always
mashed me by his manner; he adopted the
quick, positive, peremptory way, such as the
BEST business minds get into He was no
respecter Of persons IL he didn't want n
dea, with a man he would tell him 30 right
of; I can not trade with you, SIR HI
askes his favors ss If he was doing q favor.
He was a wonder to us all We used to get
together, We smaller chaps, and inquire
about him. One Of the queer things In the
place was that he never kept any books HI
had sort of inner Office, and he never would
allow a soul in the place to 60 there In thi,
Office he had boy, who kept the door, and
once or tw.ce his broker, who dealt ON the
stock exchange, would come in hurriedly for
advice or to give point and would venture
to pass that door. Ward would say: Sir.
this Is my own office; go out there and will
talk with you and consequently nobody
ever saw any books and there were no books
He looked to Us. like a sort Of q man Of
Destiny
One Of the most pleasing things, yet touch
ing to ses, is old Gen. Grant-lame, past 90,
with his faculties sound, his cheerfulness
MISUNDERSTANDING new methods to make
a living. l happened to meet him for
minute or two some weeks ago. The old
man was drinking bottle Of ale He Is ar
extraordinary triumph Of will over the
animal man. Towards the close Of his
presidency he made up his mind to drinb
no more. He has taken Bass ale now and
then, when weak, and that is all His skir
has the healthy look becoming such tenn
perance He told me that he was writing
his own memoirs; that he sometimes came
to place where he thought he could die
tate better than II he wrote himself. "Why
don't You get stenographer, generali' u
can't afford it" said he, with an admixturs
of frankness and faith and modesty that
have often thought of since.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
A Girls Queer Dream.

Charles Croker, when superintendent Of
the Central Pacific railroad, long before he
became wealthy, used to be annoyed by
young girl living in Sacramento, who visited
his office daily-thelr Office then being in
that city-looked in at him, smiled and
walked out. AT last it became so annoying
he had one Of his clerks ask her her errand.
Il dreamt three times he was to marry
me, and in my dream was told was to
visit him daily until he spoke, but he does
not seem to speak!' And he never did
sneak
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08

He had a dozen rat traps slung over hi
shoulder as he promenaded up New street in
search Of customers, and when asked the
price he replied:
@Down-way down Rat traps have fol-
lowed Wabash, and you can take yous- pick
for so cents"
@But that's too high"
swell, being as Western Union has shrunk
you can take one at forty five"
TOO high"
@What! Well, must follow New Yori
Central Wen say forty"
]Come down"
@Say, mister, do you want a rat trap al
Texas Pacific figuresP asked the old man
"What are theyf"
@Why, You take trap for nothing and
I'll give you quarter to buy cheese witbI'
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
An Insuperable Objecti on.
THE Current

Tho Greenwich observatory, in conformity
with the sentiment Of the recent universal
meridian congress, has begun the reckoning
of time on dial Of twenty-four hours.
However reasonable this plan may appear, II
must, in practice, meet with what would ap-
pear to be insuperable objections A skilled
time-keeper, in a railroad yard, who acts in
simultaneously and unerringly, cannot with
out the destruction Of his usefulness, be dis
turbed in his operations by theorist A
time keeper can, in his mind, see ton min
utes after A. and three minutes of 5" at
once, or hundred such combinations, for
that matter; but it would require another
man, and one equally well trained, to see
sten minutes after 10" and "three minutes OF
II" with exactness and immeasurable quick,
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
PRIMITIVE PlAY-ACTlNG.
When Managers We're Not blamed r.
'Fazing" Piece to Save Expenses

f1eCS 10 ShVe Ixptusc@
tCassel's Lihrary.l
In 1863 there was plague in London OF
which q, SO persons died Archbishop
Grindal advised Sir William Cecil, the secre-
tary tafterward Lord Burleigh), TO forbid
all plays for one year, and if it were for
ever, he said that would not be amiss.
They were acted on scaffolds in public places,
like the interludes: and like them, with no
more stage appointment than the dressing of
the actors. Now that the public thronged to
be thus entertained, the place of acting com
monty chosen was one Of the large inn-yards,
which have not yet everywhere disappeared.
The yard was great square, rudely paved,
entered by an archway, and surrounded by
the buildings of tie inn, which had an outside
gallery or the level of the first floor, and
second gallery sometimes surrounding the
yard on the floor above. Chaucer'S "Tabard,"
in Southwark-its naIle afterward perverted
TO the "Talbot"-whi n stood until 1874 as it
had been rebuilt il Elizabeth's reign may
serve as an example.
The inn-yard ha, ing been hired for a
performance, saving, Of course, the rights Of
the customers whose horses were stabbed
round about, a stage was built at one end
under the surrounding gallery. 1t was en-
Has'>d nv curt-insL tent fashion which hung
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
A Chance for the BatsmAn.
TPhiladelphia eduarS

Base ball has lost much Of the interest
which attaches to the matches between
strong amateur clubs. 1t is now chiefly q
battle Of pitchers, but an amended rule
gives the batsmen q little chance Instead
of the round bats heretofore used, the
players are to be permitted to wrap the
handles OF their bats and to fatten tho sides
for eighteen inches from the end This will
make bat approaching in style
the kind used in cricket, aud will On.
courage scientific hitting or placing
Of the ball With the round bat there is q
great deal of chance work, even with the
best of players, but with flattensd face it
will be possible not merely to hit the ball but
to direct it to parts of the field where there
are no players. The new rule is very likely
to add interest to the game, besides making
it a safer sport.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
On Political Matters.
Josh Billings in Pretzers week,y.

Josh Billings in PretzeTs Weeky.1
Ask my opinion of woman, and am
orthodox; buzz me about horses, and am
lucid; tap me about morals, and l leak like
the bunghole of barrel; approach me with
a subscription paper, and melt; flattsr me,
and weaken; abuse me, and corruscate;
intimate a brandy smash, and succumb.
But in all political matters am nursing
child, an idiot, a fool on furlough, non
descript-a man too jealous Q; his ease and
reputation to toss it into politics and let the
rabbls plav at foot ball with it
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
The Foreign Element.


Two German citizens, having become In
volved in a fight, were arrested and taken
before a negro justice Of the peace Whe1
the constable explained why the men haG
been arraigned, the justice said:
u sees dat yer two gsn'lmen Is furriners
Now, I'll fine yer $40 fur fightin and $50 fur
s'lectin' de Newnighted States fur yer battle.
groun'. Dis country, gen'lmen, has ter per.
teck itsef ergin de 'fringements O. de furrin
element"
I'VE no dot much money got" said one Of
the prisoners
"Dat amt my fault, gentlemen o dc furrir
stamp. Yer ken jes' 60 inter my new
gr0un' an work it out See dat da do 1t, Mr.
Constable"
IRice's western Reserve
Courting, or sparkling, in those early days
was not filtration, but an affair Of the
heart, and was conducted in the natural
way. The boys and girls who were predis-
posed to matrimony used to sit up together
Sunday nights, dressed In their Sunday
clothes They occupied usually corner OF
the only family room of the cabin, while the
bed of the old folks occupied the opposite
corner, with blankets suspended around it
for curtains. During the earlier part Of the
evening the old and young folks engaged in
q common chit-chat
About 8 o'clock the younger children
climbed the ladder in the corner, and went
to bed in their hunks under the garret-roof:
and in about an hour later father and
mother retired to bed behind the blanket
curtains, leaving tho 'sparkers" sitting at a
respectful distance apart, before a capscious
wood fireplace, and looking thoughtfully
into the cheerful flame, or perhaps into the
future The sparkers, however, soon broke
the silence by stirring up the fire with q
wooden shovel or poker, first one and then
the other; and every time they resumed
their seats somehow the chairs manifested
unusual attractions for closer contiguity. II
chilly, the sparksrs would sit closer together
to keep warm; if dark, to keep the bears of.
Then came some whispering with "hearty
smack" which broke the cabin stiffness and
disturbed the gentle breathing behind the
suspended blankets. so as to produce slight
parental hacking cough.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
The forests Of Scotland yield 10, 600 dse,
annually.
Gen. Sick1es Floors Q Waiter.
New York Times


New York Timesl
Gen Daniel Sickles, wrapped up 20 the
sars in an overcoat, stood on the little boat
bound for Governors island recently, sur
rounded by friends, and in an elaborate con
dition Of ansodotal good humor. people
are always asking me how 1 lost my leg" he
aid, glancing at his wooden member, "and
it becomes an intolerable nuisance answer
ing the question 30 often. l don't say any
thing about the dslicacy of the question. The
other day went into a restaurant to get
bite OF lunch. The waiter, when had
given him my order, looked curiously at me
and remarked:
Might ask, sir, how you lost your legr
HE was a most unprepossessing looking
fellow, and l took an immediate dislike to
him, so replied: You ought to know
Maybe I had sir, was his answer, but
don't any way, and should be obliged if you
would tell me-
Il looked at the waiter with serious ex
preston Of countenance and quietly re-
marked:
Young man, lost my leg at the battle
of Bunker Hill and don't you forget it.
He gave me one look of intense discom-
future, and my lunch was brought in by
less talkative youth"
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
The Same Old Fool Joke.
Providence Journal.


A young lady of Olneyville had BEEN st-
ting in a chair and arose to get something,
and as she attempted to regain her seat a
young friend quickly withdrew the chair,
and allowed her to sink heavily to the floor.
The next day she was taken ill, and phyx-
clan was summoned. and for two months he
has been applying bandages, plasters, etc
to save the young lady, who is Is years Of
age, from permanent curvature OF the spina
As it was, her body became bent, and gave
her friends great alarm It will be five
years before all danger Of spinal disease will
be removed The fall caused the end of the
spine 10 be driven upward and to one side
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
Simplicity of the Fathers.

new Sricans flcayune.I
return to the old-time simplicity Of
Washington would bring back silver
buckles, silk breeches, ruffied bosomed
shirts, powdered wigs, cooked hats, and other
ridiculous trumpery, finery and nonsense
aped from the courts of the old world The
gentleman who wants Jetfersonlan in
auguration should think of the fuss and
feathers from which progressive nation has
escaped
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
A Proposal In Hamlet.

A Brooklyn you 6 man is quite "goner On
Hamiet' Reading it to the girl of his
heart last week, he came 10 the passage:
-or If thou witt needs marry, marry a fool y
is that proposal, deari' sine asked YES.
iarling," he replied And they settlsd il
there and then
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
Over 20 600 Germans are employed in Lon
don, monopolizing almost entirely ths bar
Der. tailor and waiter trades
In Honor Of Moses Cleaveland.

In Honor Of Moses Cleaveland.
I''Gath's'' Letter.
They at once baptized the infant city, and
gave it the name of Cleaveland in honor of
their superior in authority. Moses was
taken by surprise, blushed, and gracefully
acknowledged the compliment The letter
"a in the first syllable of his name was
subsequently dropped out by resident
editor of the town, because he could not in
clude it in the headline of his newspaper for
want of sufficient space. The public adopted
the EDITORS photography, which has aver
since been retained.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
"AIl Rig1ts Reserved"

A number Of young writers, reserving al
rights, have their contributions to obscur,
journals Copyrighted, AMI are remaining
unknown To become famous a young mar
must have his work stolen and copied in al
directions
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
New Antiseptic Method.

An English surgeon, Dr.. Leighton Ksss'
even, reports remarkable success with .
new antiseptic method Of treating wounds,
consisting in keeping the sores clsanssd BY
means of jet of steam charged with solu-
ton Of the oil Of the eucalyptus or blue gum
HOA
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08

TWashippfnp altar

The army and navy ladies have adopted q
new freak this winter. They are spoken Of
in the society columns in this way: Mrs
Smith, U. S. A, or Mrs. Jones, U. s. N.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
A Big Bet.
Hartford Tines.l

A bet was made in the presidential election
Of 1882, or rather an agreement by which
the sum 800 was given outright to one of
the parties to the bet, the condition being
that he should pay the other man l cent for
one electoral vote that jackson should get
over Clay 2 cents for two votes, cents for
three, 8 cents for four, 10 cents for five, 50
for six, and so on, according to the ma jority,
il any, that jackson might get in the
ELECTORAL college. The man to whom the
offer was made incsutious,y jumped at it.
and eagerly took the s2O0. But he found
that he had obligated himself for more than
he, or all his friends, could ever pay. The
simplest arithmesic will show that, by rule
Of this doubling up, even il the majority had
been but 20, it would have involved s. 242. SO;
to say nothing Of a majority of 95, which
would bankrupt all the Goulds and Wander
bilts. Even a majority of only 80 would
produce IS, 36S, 100 12; while a majority of 50
would involve s3i3, 597, ,3S3. 68 II the ma
jority only reached ~, the mans obligation
would already have mounted into the bill
lions, and reached the astounding sum Of S.
I97, SIS. lSS SS
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-08
Russian Justice.
Foreign Letter.l

The question has often been asked whether
In Russia men receive impartial justice or
not l shall mention two cases which came
under my own observation. The landlord of
my house entered an action TO recover the
sum Of 8, 900 owed for goods to that amount
delivered. Both parties bribed the judge,
but the landlord was the most lavish, and he
affirmed that he paid $780, after the decision
in his favor, on condition that he received
the other 81 $50; his offer was accepted and
he paid the amount after waiting two years
for his money.
An Austrian gentleman was robbed at
hotel where he was stopping Of property to
considerable amount The sery ants were all
examined by the police and one was selected
as the probable thief The hotel proprietor
well knew the honesty Of this man and gave
him character which would have exoner-
atsd him from the charge. But no, the po-
lice determined that ne was ths thief, and
actually fiogged him to the comfortable
number Of 800 lashsa Scarcely was this re-
oeived before the true thief was discovered
to Be quite another psrson; the poor servant
instead Of being consolsd for the severe
dagellation he had received, was sent out Of
the city in order that ths business might Be
forgotten.
Brooke Herfori: But the moro We can
get clear ont of that vicious circle Of think
ing Of ourselves either in our religion or In
our intellectual studies the better.