Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-04-19
THE LlME-nLN CLUB.


take the chair as the meeting openea,
and as soon as Paradise Ball grew qu's'
he said:
"our respected President am not hean 70
night A day or two ago he took Q ru,
down to Elyria, o., to organize . oranrn
lodge an delivered lectur; an up 70 a.s
bour he has not bin heard OH any OF DIS
friends in de city. His ole woman mas nau
three fits an copgestive chill, an De null
narburbood in which he Ibis am out at de
o.,e a vatchin'. What has delayed him
Kim not imagine. but sm hourly In hopes OF
lis arrival We will open de bizness OF ae
reetin' by calm fur de monthly report Oh
Dc Committee on Judiciary.
lie hartman reported that he had been
kee, ing track Of he laws passed oy fourteen
different Legislatures within the last month
and he had Jailed TO find one single meas
ure which seemed to be OF general Pupiic
benefit. There was, he believed, altogether
100 much law in this country. Every mem
her of every Legislature wanted a law Of
some sort and generally got it. Every
alderman of every city wanted a little ord''
rance 10 cover something, and It was pass,
ed The result was that we had laws ana
ordinances 10 cover everything, from false
pretenses in borrowing q coiiee-mili 10 s'ea'
ing a State Capitol, while the enforcement T
Of q single one seemed to be the result Vi
accident.
Il
A communication from Prince Ed"aTa
Island made inquiry as to how many re
mans were carried on the rolls OF the clae
and Sir Isaac answered: ~
"Ifwes got any L re .nebber hearn tell OF
If. If dar any present be will please arose
Samuel Shin promptly stood up.
as YOU Fenian2" asked the Chairman.
81 reckon is, sab.
What makes you think so.
"Kase dasn't 90 to Canada, sab
He was ordered to cit down, and the sec
Rotary was instructed to write III answer
that the club had plenty OF orators states
men, philanthropists and philosophers ou'
no Fenians.
A Success.
Prot. Nath. Obediah Oats, Secretary oil
the branch lodge lately organized at Prince
ton, Ind. forwarded his first report most OF
which was taken up with description OF
the ceremonies attendant upon organization.
The branch calls itself The Shining Stars
from Shinerville," and starts with l9l mem
bers. Judge Cadaver was sent down from
Detroit TO start the machinery, and IN his
lecture TO the charter members he cautioned
them III feeling language against night
travelling in the suburbs, rs their presence
at "a SPOT mile or so from home on star
less Ii ght would certainly be mlsconstraed
Made Founders.
An official communication from Draw
back Judson. Secretary ct the Empire
Fishing for Founders CInb, OF New ork
CITY. announced the fact that at the lasi
meeting OF rhe club it WAS vored to admit
he Lime Kiln Club, excepting the Kew.
PersIock, 10 all rights aud privileges.
Givesdam Jones moved that the honor
be accepted, aud n vote OF thanks be re
turr ed on red cardboard.
The Rev Penstock popped up TO object
Wbv be had been left ont he could not
imagine. but had he been left in he should
have objected all the same. No man with
apy future before HIM could afford to throw
away his time splitting on haited tlshrhook
and bobbing it around in the water In hopes
of taking in some young and guiIeless fish
a dozen other members jumped up to
speak in favor of Brother Jones motion,
and n call of the yeas aud nays were de
manded The Secretary was ordered TO
call the roll and the result was: Ayes, I'll
nays, !.
A Suggestion
The Hon. Clawhsmmer Potts had been
noticed hitching around in an uneasy man
ner Tor some time, and he now secured the
floor TO make suggestion. OF course, he
would be the Last man in the club TO cast o
breath of suspicion, but these were strange
times Bank presidents who had lived above
reproach for fifty years were every day com,
ing 10 the front as embeza -rs and defaulters.
Wouldn't it be well all things considered,
for the Chairman to appoint committee to
to-
"Brudder Potts, has you sunthin' on yer
mind? asked Sir Isaac.
Yes. sab Wouldn't it he well 10 see If
de club funds am all safei Rrudder Gard
ner wouldn't tech the fist red cent, Of
course, but he EN- mysteriously absent, an
it am our dooty to see dat our funds an oil
correct move that we investigate.
No one seconded the motion. Everybody
seemed paralyzed for a moment, and it was
during this interval that Brother Gardner
walked into the Hall. He was besplashed
with mud-one coat tail gone-three but
tons of his vest and bis plug hat caved in,
but his face wore it's usual serene aspect as
he limped up the aisle and assembled the
platform. While he was doing this the
Hon. Clawhammer Potts Vas sliding for the
door, and he shot out of it like man ex.
pecling to feel sole leather.
., INV irens.' said the President as he
raped for order while war waitin' at
ElyIia to take de train fur bum d stranger
axed me 10 change ten dollar bill fur him
| complied When | went to buy my ticket
de hill was spotted fur counterfeit. rode
as fur ss | could on dollar an' & haif an
den 'ook &c dirt road de rest Of de way
LET me saYto you: Have confidence in
human nstur, but doan sell yerself too
cheap Regard all men truthful, bat hold
yer hat ready 10 cotch lie. Believe all
men honest, but carry yer money where a
thief can't nab it, BE courteous to
strangers. but doan' let EN- trsbbIe at your
expense"
While the President was looking over the
minutes OF the evening the Secretary mott
fed him of the ut:erances OF the Hon. Claw
hammer Potts Some OF the members ex-
pected to see the fur hy but they were dis
appointed. After disposing Of half an hours
routine business Brother Gardner said:
81 has no hard feelin's sgin brudder Potts
II has got so dat county treasurer CAM
go rabbit huntin widout somebody starts de
report dat he am defaulter TO de amount
ot'$4OOOO. Brudder Potts was simply q
Ieetle too prevus. He forgot dat de funds
Of dis club am deposited in de bank in SIGH
a way dat it takes three signatures and two
individuals to draw chen a shillin. Let Us
now wind up"
Young Men, Road This.
The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshail, Mich,