davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
Wit AND WISDOM.

Every bad act is knot on the
thread OF life WRiebGN Times.
Every seeming i'll is benefit in dis
gJlise. Witness that kick OF Il mule
which cured Kentucky man OF stam-
mering.
Ordered to clear the court. On Irish
crier at Bailina-loe did so by this an
roIncement: Now. thin. all We black
guards that isn't lawyers must lave, the
court"
It IS only small fault Won say9
Tclemachus, Ev dear boy, small
tooth. fivc-e:ghths o. an inch long, can
make enough ache to go around a man
weighing 215 pounds. and keep him
awake and bowling every night fer a
wecS A small fault? Look to it, my
boy: have it ground out and filed with
rla.e gold before il begins to ache
BufdCtte.
Think canned beef hurts me-"
muttcced 4 drunken man to his wife.
Never could stan canned goods"
.-Oh. I don't think it was canned
goods" repl-el his wife. GLASS goods,
tank" Think sog'' YES. | do"
she replied. Wall that's all ride
Let glas, lone negs time. Smartes'
woman ever saw. w don't yer travel
with a skOw?"-ArkdnsG1c IraCeler.
Here is Joke translated from Der
U7k, comic paper published in Ger
many: Two schooLbovs. one of whom
was eating apples met in the street.
Sad the one with the apples: Il have
got apples and YOU haven't And
I've got 4 new Jacket and Eoa haven't
MY father has got a Few pair of spec
facles AID yours hasn't. And nv
grandmother is dead and yours ism t
A Song for Girls:
How dear TO my heart is saeGuc male o
A garment adapted to keep out me cold.
It's not Ike the Jersey, which Its hike Al eel
It's iolTSe. graceful. easy and fair to behold.
How smooth and how glossy! Il 5 beauty on
chants me;
What garment SO lovely when worn by a
Bot, waking aad sleeping its poetry haunts
me.
The saeque made of sealskin that fits me 80
well.
TIE sacgue made of seaEskir-cf smooth,
GLOSSY SealSkiH-
The beautiful sealsSn t'ist IN: me- so well
-LobreG Courier.
The Editors Ruse: Met with an &C
c-dents" said a subscriber who was
two or three years in arrears. as he
entered the sanctum of 8 rsr.l editor.
Il see YOUR face Is bruised and You
have got black eye Wei" said
the editor, with sigh. as he arose and
began to roll up his sleeves delinquent
subscribers must be made 20 pay up
somehow. but l sometimes come out
second best, as you see ''Ea"
laughed the visitor, rs he took OK his
vale. Il just dropped in to pay my
bill And the editor chuckle1 softly
TO himself after the visitors depar' Gre:
Life is fun of compensations. Falling
over that wood box WAS S blessing 70
ne. r-Boston Courier.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
WORMS IN FOWLS.
How to Treat Fowls to Keep Them Free
from Parasitic Disease.

There may be few who know of or
suspect the presence of worms in fowls,
or believe that such an ailment affect;
the poultry-yard. Yet, it is wcll-es-
tab.ished fact that such an ailment does
exist-ihat there has been found b.
actual examination no less than sixteen
different kinds of worms in owls. and
that the presence of these parasites
which infCst the intestin of the fowl
is a prime and prolific source of
disease.
1he manner of their introduction into.
or tie cause of their creation in. fowls is
no. well known or determined. but
there is every reason 10 believe, how
ever. that their presence is due either 10
tie fowls eating food that is more or
less in state of decomposition. or food
thai is ''mitey is, infe ted with
mag -otS. weevils. exc, or to their be-
ing kept in close. crowded and unclean
in-lo~ura>. or iroIl both being fed I'M
whoie>c ne food and continel in filthy
quarters.
Their existence in the organs of fowls.
bes deS Ec:ng Il source of future disease
thar finally results in death. 30 deraages
and destroys the parts which they in
fest that the action of the alimentary
organs becom. weakened. the Vi. al.tr
lowered and the stamina dcsl roved. aad
the fowl rendered An easy and helule,s
prey to wEG,evcr cpid mics there nav
arise, aud &c aay OF The Ills and iii =
or,IcrS that commonly aiect the poul-
try-yard.
Ih" presence Of worms in flows is
not readily exhibited or ea>iy diScov-
cradle. The pr ncipal and perhaps the
only symptom manifested aad no: &C.
abe i that they none and hang about
with n dropping of the head and slow,
sluggish movements. A coed aud gen
orally sure way, however, u ascertain
their existence in the fowl is to examine
the Groupings. for if present in the in
shines they VIII nearly always be ex-
hib:red in the res.duum.
1Le best known remedy fo- this af-
fcc;lcn, and one which has hitlerio
never failed. is TO give the fowl turpen-
tine IN capsule form. one or two of
tee fo.Iowe in twelve hours tv
dose Of castor oil. This will com
p.etely eNpel these troublesome and
dangerous parasites from the system
and effects the removal OF IT III -ha,
road. if let alone, surely end in the
loss of the fowl
The result of administering this Gasc
Is magical. The fowi immediately be-
gins to revive and soon resairs il. TOR
mai health, yigor and ac ivity. 1t is 4
dose that may occasionally be given
10 fowls with results most beneficial
and profitable. whether the
presence o. worms Is manifested or no.
Fowls so treated will ALWAYS be free
rom the parasitic disease. and 4 recur-
renee OF it in those fowls that have tcen
freed from it. or its attacks upon those
fowls that have never had il. may b. |
prevented BY thoroughly cooking soft |
tcods, such as animal and watery veg
stablcs, by thoroughly cooking grain or |
neal That may be weevily. by feeding
'nly clean grain. by keeping tIleir
icuses and Enclosures Thoroughly clean |
md by occasionally s,rinkling their
'un freely with iine.-Sea Frsneisco
..s.a.;'rs:ictc.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
DELIGHTS OF WALKING.
Few Logical Remarks by a Person Who
Believes i'm Professionalism.

4 Few Logical Remarks by a Person Who
Believes in Pedestrianism.
For good. honest Interchange OF
thought and sentiment; for sitting a
man. and separating the corn from the
chaff in his moral. spiritual. and sOci;
characteristics; for getting grip
stronger than ever in the way Of possess
ing his heart. know of nothing that
can bring better occasions or wealthier
chances to you than walking with him
on the Kings highway. You shall
learn more OF mans heart. his likes
and disiikes. his hobbies and idiosyacra-
sizes. his weakness aHd his strength.
in days walk than you shall be able
10 get BY month riding with him in
a diligence or q postchaise. The breeze
that winnOws your very heart, and
sends the chat of dark and doubtful
thoughts from You. leaving the kernel
of true grain white and clean. is surely
an uuspeakable blessing As you tread
your way along the crisp and shining
upland road. Then You have the
bright or evcr-changirg sky. and
s-IcdlllET cOIJdEt MONIES mere anu INeTe.
sheltered under their warm wings of
thatch. covered DER with golden stone
crop and green moss, all sprinkled
daintily with crystal gems of hoary
rime and frozen snow. Beyond all
this, the eXhilarating swing in every
step you take, and the glorious jog of
freedom you possess, combine to open
your heart TO him who throws in his
lot with you for the time, and joys
along with YOU with ready wit and re-
sponsive reverence, keenness OF vision
and bri ghtness of heart. What rare
privilege is given to every walker Oh
the Kings highway. and through the
sweet, shadowy rural lanes and mead
ows. threaded by silver streams and
lined with willow holts. leading there
from. And vet. how few accept with
gratitude and act upon the gift w..ich
nature ever extends to them with open
hands! What lovely pictures and
CLEANS of lasting joy they who do not
go afoot miss forever.-TheQ uircr.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

Vermont, which had almost 100. 600
children IN her common schools in 1910.
has now less than $1,000 children in
them.
1t is the easiest thing in the world
to train up a child in the way he should
go; ali You have to do is to go that way
yourseh.-Dr. Lyman -466on.
The thoughtful people of the coun-
Try are waking up to the fact that it is
as necessary TO educate bows hands
as it is to discipline his mind.-44tidnta
Constellation.
For school purposes in the South
ern States there is being spent twice as
much as there was five wears ago, it is
estimated. and four times as much IS
Fifteen years Caicago Herald.
Since the American Bible Society
entered upon the general supply of the
United States and Territories with the
Scriptures two years ago. 45I counties
have been caavassed BY colporteurs of
the society. 464 counties have been par
tally canvaSsed. and 564 counties still
remain to be supplied BY colporteurs
where the auxiliary Bible societies can
not undertake the work--CbicGqo Inter
Ocean.
Denmark spends $4,000 annually
for agricultural teaching. There are
dairy schools and schools in agriculture.
Improved methods are taken up BY
every Dane, from the King down 10 the
humblest farmer. The consequence is
that this little, cold, barren country is
able to export large numbers of excel
lent cattle, quantities of farm and dairy
produce, while the producers are thriv-
ing and comfortable.
-Gosse, the diStin yuiSlfed English
scholar. now come TO America to lect-
IRE before some of our greatest edpca-
tional institutions never went to school,
it Is said Having never had the adj
vantage of q college course. the poor
man mistook his wav- and, devo;ing
himself to the study of English litera-
ture Ga study which the colleges in
EngiiSh-speaking nations have regarded
as incon~equential as compared with
that of the classics) became-emineat
Current.
The HdrrGrd Crimson saws: The
honor of establishing the first college
paper does not belong. as we think il
ought. to the Oldest university, but to
Que of her Younger sisters, Dartmouth.
There appeared in 1900 at that institu-
ton a paper called the Gazette. which
is chiefly famous for the reason that
among its contributors was Dartmouth
mos distinguished son, Daniel Web
ster. A few years later Yale followed
with the Literary Cabinet. which, how
ever, did not live &c celebrate it, birth
day. Ii was net until 1910 that Har-
ward made her first venture in Journal
ism, and Edward Everett. with seven
associates. issued the KGrrdrd LIZ
,.e9zg11 -
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
THE MEMORY OF THE PAST.
a word About Those Who Lived Long,
Long ARo.

~ Word About Those Who Lived Long.
Long Ago.
I Judge j. r. Swan, who recently died
at Columbus. o., a native of the town of
Western. in this county. wrote as follows
to a friend few months before his death:
las one grows old Cat least do) one
recalls more frequently and wildly the
past-with me it is Western-the fish
ing for minnows and trout with Your
brother. TIE thool house with its
seats made OK tne outside plank of
sawlogs, the bark adhering to the I'M
ders DE-. and the auger holes into which
the ie,Is were driven showing on top;
the enormous fireplace in the school
room; the air loaded with the smell of
bread and butter. brought in baskets
made b. the Indians. the school-house
too far of from houses of the children
to 20 home for their dinner. Then the
cake filled with coriander seed. which
Mrs. and Ann Floyd gave us (when we
stopped on our way to schooD at Cen
eral Floyd's. The Barlow knife and
the gilt-coyered primers of the House
That Jack Built. and Blue Beard.
and the red Morocco caps for children,
these gave full qualification. Then a
great event was . keg of oysters brought
by sleigh from Albany. Sugar plums,
the outside sugar and beautifully
colOred and the inside sweetcred flour
or whiting. Barefoot. OF course. in
summer; but the shoemaker went from
house to house in the fall and made
our shoes. How pleasant it was to
watch the work on our shoes and an
ticipate the time when they would be
finished, and then put the precious
things under our pillow the first night,
Popguns of alder, whistles of butter
nut. jewsharps and kites filed the place
and were probably quite as enjoyable as
the thousand kinds of TOYS of the
present. There were eight children in
my fathers family then, and my mother
made their stockings and winter coats
and trousers from wool to completion.
Pretty well for merchants wife. =
Rome n. T. Sentinel
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
EATING.
How Americans Spoil Their Stonzehs and
Violate Go pd Manners.


Violate Go ,d Manners.
Hurried eating is breach of good
manners. Americans are proverbiallv
fast eaters. Not the boorish and low
lived. but the best people. so-caiied.
are often guilty OF this indecency. DIR.
Willard Parker. in q recent lecture in
this city. gave the following bill OF fare
seen to DC eaten in Albany BIZ ..legis-
lator' in three and half minutes: Two
boiled eggs. two large potatoes. 4 bses-
steak. two goblets OF milk. plate OF
ham AMI e...ss. Il plate OF buckwhc1s
cakes and 1 large cup Of coffee Inc
poor man. however. compla neil 10 4
friend that be ID dn' feel well. and was
troubled with Gyspepsia.' What sor5
o. legislation CIR be- expected from
Srcli bilious creatures? Animals dc
hct.c-. The caCric--pigcon arrives from
It's long fight exhausted. refuses food.
taking. perhaps. little water. ard set
ties down to rest Thea il WI. revive
and eat Instinct teaches it that when
the nerve power is gone it can't be
turned on 1T the stomach for digestion;
the steam is too low. The proprietor
OF The Astor-House restaurant says that
IT Is strange Ito see tie way these
Americans 90 at their food A man
viii start at Wall street. run all the
way 10 the Aston As fast as his Ices
wall carry him. aad shovel in his lunch
as though his lie depended On his GET
ting through in five minutes. Then he
viii stand around here and talk fer cn
hour or longer without thinking of 60
ing back 10 his Office i have seen them
GO over and converse for solid hoUy
with the esshier sitter runniny throrgh
their feed ike chain iigb.ningr-HtiHe
Science.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
Stranger than Fiction

are the records OF some of the cures of con-
sumption effected by that most wonderful
Pierce's "Golien Medical Dis
covery." Thousands of grateful men and
women, who have bean snatched almost
from the very jaws of death, can testify
that consumption, ii its early stages. is no
longer incurabie. The Discovery has no
equal as pectoral and alternative, and the
most obstinate affections of the throat and
lungs yield to its power. Al druggists.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

Laura Clancy, the beautiful young
actress whose death and cremation oc-
CURED lately, was a spiritualist. Her
ashes were, by her request. put in two
cans. one OF which was to be buried in
her sisters grave in Baltimore and the
other in her mothers grave in Yer
mont
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

TIE Health Commissioner, Baltimore,
Md, DR.. James A. Steunrt, says OF Red
Star Cough Cure: It combines in an unique
and effective manner approved curative
agencies which are relied upon by the
faculties of the different schools of medi-
cine, with other valuable ingredients. Con-
tains no poisons o. opiates.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

Nm PKrER MALLxS, sf2 ". Twenty
fourth street, New York, says that he suf-
fered six years with rheumatism and found
no relief until st. Jacobs Oil, the sovereign
remedy, was applied, which cured him
completely.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

THE VoLTAIC BELT Co., of Marshall, Mich,
offer 20 send their celebrated ELECTRo-VoL-
TAIC BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES
on trial for 10 days, to men tyoung or old
afflicted with nervous debility, loss of vital
ity and all kindred troubles. Also for rheu-
matisn. neuralgia, paralysis and many 9TH
er diseases. Complete restoration to health.
vigor. and manhood guaranteed. No risk in
Cured, as 20 days. trial is allowed. Write
them at once for illustrated pamphlet, free.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

"WH.r we learn with pleasure we never
forget. "-AifTed Mercier. The following is
a case in point. ~ paid out hundreds of
dollars without receiving any benefit
SAYS Mrs. Emily Rhoads, of McBrides,
Mich. ~ had female complaints, especial.
" 'draggingdown.' for over six years.
DIR. r. V. Pierce's .Fevorite Prescription
did me more good than any medicine ever
took. l advise every sick lady to take it,
And so DO we. It never tiisappoints its
patrons. Druggists sell it.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

Dog Buyers Guide; 100 pages, engravings
of ali breeds, colored plates, price of dogs
and where to buy them, mailed Tor 15c. As
ISOLATED Fanciers, 23i s. Sth St., Phiia., Pa.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

"HE amt no violiaist, but he can Just
fiddle cat off TIE fence" was the way a
country chap put il.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

'IKE's TooTHACHC DROPS curein minutf &c
iicHa's Sulphur SoGn heals and beauties. sc
GERMAN CORN REMOVER Kills Corns BuI ions
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

"YoU can count on me-" as the slow cal
culator's fingers remarked.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

CoUGHs AND HoAEsESEss.-The irrita-
ton which induces coughing Immediately
relieved by use of - BSUICR's Bronchial
1rOche. /" Sold only in boxes. % Cts
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

WHEN the cat secj flying boot-iack he
looks upon it rs off -fenceiye hint.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

>ruE fact that the poet is horn, not made,
relieves cur educational system from
serious sponsibiiity.-B0stOa Courier.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
PiIR TnunrS.

however large, speedily and painlessly
cured without knife. caustic or salve. Send
six cents in stamps for pamphlet, refer
ences and reply. Worlds Dispersary
Medical ASHTON, IG3 Main St, Buffalo, NY.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

A MAN is called a confirmed liar whea
nothing that he says is confirmed.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

To ACCUMULATE dollars, my son.-you
must have some sense to begin with
BuTdette.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23

II afflicted with Sore Ewes, use DR.. Isaac
ThCapsol's Eye Water. Druggists sell it &c
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
Young Men, Read This.

81 MUST shake of this bad habit,- said
tramp. as he gazed at his tattered coat
" y ,TUuFu1I.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-23
Do You Want to Buy a Dose

Ir's very sci lom that the umbrella get
lett. We know whereof we speak.-B0s
sfon Past
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-19

dition. has over and over proved himself the
most valuable ally England has in Upper Egypt,
and perhaps the only real friend of any conse-
quence it has along the Upper Nile
OF course, it is practically useless to speculate
upon what the government will do with the Sou
Gan because the Premier does not know himself
It is understood that she Cabinet have decided
to adopt such suggestions as may result from a
conference on the subject between Generals
Wolseley and Gordon after they have met and
had discussed the whole subject 1t assumed,
however, that both will urge the retention of
khartoum and continuance of control over at
least the surrounding country. Now that it is
almost certain that Gor6ons relief will be sue
eessfully accomplished, the political philosophers
ire opening a discussion as to the best use to
Which the Soudan region can beput Isis said that
the country is pre-eminently suitable for the
successful cultivation of the sugar beet. Great
interest is now taken by English scientists IN
this sugar beet. They fondle it as if in it En-
gland had at last discovered the winning weapon
with which to combat American agricultural
competition. The learned men are now at
tempting to teach the British farmer how to
proftably cultivate the sugar beet. 1t is easier
to grow, they say, than wheat. and more profit
able to SELL and if Gordon manages to turn over
a lease of KhartOum to England, that is the
country to emigrate to, because sugar beets can
be cultivated there better and with greater proht
than anywhere else in the world.
1t is learned upon good authority that despite
Wolseley's attempts to avoid criticism upon his
management of the Khartoum expedition, he
really deserves censure The suferings of the
+ troops in the terrible desert march to Gandula
are described as horrible, and it is declared that
these sufferings are almost entirely attributable
to the extremely bad management of the water
supply A large number of the troopers are said
20 have been kept in state of semi-insanity
half the time from thirst. This was
owing to the waste Of the water car
ried, and this waste was caused
by the poor quality of the skins composing the
water tanks and the defective way in which they
vera put together. Plenty of water ground was
found at stated places, but it impossible to
reach it in most instances because of some such
criminal negligence on the part of the commits
saFy that for instance, of leaving the portable
pumps behind, which done at Korti. These
pumps were useful in the Abyssinian campaign,
and are Indispensable in hurried desert marches,
where the water is far below the surface and the
wells must be driven. Some of the newspapers
tauntingly say Wolseley has been far less care
full about the water supply for his troops than
he has been for the safety of the jams and mar
malades.