davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1885-04-09
4 STUMP STEAMERS EXPERIENCE.
After having served an apprenticeship

After having served an apprenticeship to the log school house, in politics, you are invited to speak iu the smaller viii lsges. You have got your speech well in hand and your meetings have been well advertis. q, with the invariable prefix of "Hon." or "Col." or'some such title, and the ladies are invited to be present As you start on the cars for your destination you picture to your mind what must be the feeling of the community in which you are about to 'sthrow yourself" when they think of the advent of so distinguish ed person as yourself. You are positive lv certain that you have ruined the husi- ness of one village, fer day, at ltast. The 'fair women and brave men" have undoubtedly congreeated at the depot to do yon honor.
 AS the traiu pulled mp at "the station'- possibly n ''fiag' out--your heart beats quick, and the proudest moment of vOur life has come? Alas there k nobody at the stopping place-not even one person to meet you You walk down to the tavern, and on your way down perceive to your disgust that farmers team has just diiyen up to the one store in the place, and it's occupants are actually abont to trade You discover 10 your horror that two other wagons filled with people are driving out of the town and going home It had not occurrd d to you tha+ anybody could go away from that hamlet until after your meeting With heavy heart you walk into the open door of the hotel office and find it empty. It is a chilly afternoon, but there is no fire. After freezing for an hour or two, an elderly lady cautiously opens the hall door, and after having given you a long look through her spectacles, +~ tlot ''pa" is the landlord, you answer ''yes. !" "I guess you'll find him down on the farm its only about a mile from here, she re- plies, anl departs. Then all is quiet again.
 1 Ton go to the door and find that that 1 team is still in front of the solitary store. It must be that something is being said about you in that store. With quick ear and very dignifedly, you walk past its open door Cant pay only thirteen cents cash for eggs" is all you heaI. After walking decent distance you turn about, and To that team is leaving town You see young fellow leaning up against a fence, and ask him, ''Ts there political meeting advertised here for tonight ?'' ''Not as I knows on, is his answer. You go back to your tavern, and about night the landlord comes ill his shirt sleeves and lights fire. About half-past seven five ol six old fellows file in and want to know il the speaker has come Modestly you an
 nounce that you have arrived. Que o
 them prods you gently with "Of course
 we don't believe gosh-blasted thing you are going to say, but we like to hear any
 body that is tonguey n'
 The meeting takes place i'll the ball
 room. Fifteen or twenty persons get il and you Ego it. After you get througl the chairman says Git was first rate,' an(
 he is almighty glad old Jim Jones wa' there to hear !" You go home sadde
 and wiser.
The Press., 1885-04-09
COLONEL uNpERWoop,s KISSES.

''Of course,' said the Colonel, laughing, Kentucky is a great state. We have the handsomest women Ill the world we make the best whisky; have Gthe most fertile lands raise he best horses, and have the purest air. What more could be asked In. addition to that our people pull to-geth- CT, but they don't like snobbishnes>. l remember one time was stumpIlg one of the mountain counties. I bought $25 worth of nickels and put them i'll my sad dle-bags. Every log cabin l would come to would rlde upand ASK for drink of water. Vel, out would come little boy or g1rl with a gourd dipper of warm water. | wonlsl take a swallow, then drop nickle in the dipper. The little olie would run in and would go on. The chiid's motll- CT would come and have the fat gentleman pointed out. The consequence was that l got the vote out of that house. We'll, one morning rode mp to a house, and a little girl brought me out 8 dlpper of water. 1 felt in my pocket and discovered that I hadu't a copper. Little girl, said I, I generally havesas Aickle somewhere about me, but Ihavell't to-day, so I'll give you what's the ne 1t best thing for girl, and that's 8. kiss. So got down off my horse and kissed her ft my own httlee eblue-eyed girl at home. 0 z'-.g ssss
 ':Another fitlls black-eyed girl here showed up and | had to kiss her for niece of mine whom she looked like. By this time another little girl showed up half a head taller than the Test, and not to De inn partial 1 kissed her, when I found that fonr or five other girls had gathered and saw l was in for It.. So beginning with the smallest | kissed each Sone. The chance m stature was so gradual that didn't no- hut fkrA lacf aSzyne E,1l
 man and right, handsome at that. until T had kissed her. Looking up I saw that there We're two or three old ladies lanoh- ing at me, aud thinking had made bad break, I lifted my hat to the young ladv and begged her pardon, and explained how it was. She didn't seem 10 mind it much but the old ladies kept laughing, and tried to explain It when one of them said, Why, durn 1t, Jedge, she's Bills wife. : Well, thought, I'm Ill for it. That knocks out my votes Ill thus nelghborhood Welt, I inquired in the next house who Bill uas told that 1t was Buck Holmes. the hard st citizen ill Garter county. Next day had to speak at the courthouse, and when | came up noticed gang of about 25 1 rongh-l0oking fellows off at one side, and
 d big siX-foot fellow was talking to them and e-tic dating with both hands Who's
 that :: inquired. That's B ,ck Holmes
 and his gapg, was the reply. Tbe cold ch,lls began running mp my back, and 1 shifted my revolver around up where I con d r, ach 1t without troubl, ;, and then lounge,t up to Hear what he was saying aud get the lay of the land. Well, I'm
 blankety blanked, I heard him say, If l ther jedge don't ketch my vote. No snob thar, gentlemen. Jest as soon kiss poor
 n1au's wife as rich ones, by.' That settled It. l got 150 more votes in that county than any other man on tlle ticket. 7"
The Press., 1885-04-09

was borne to his ear upon the summer breeze, and in a few moments the front door flew open aud Gale appeared bare headed, his coat split up the back, and a wild, scared expression upon his face. Close in his rear 1oomed the form of Mrs. Weeks with her broom. She was whack- ing him upon the head as he leaped down the steps He fl d down the path, burst oren the gate, and reached the tavern porch breathless and completely broken up, as he flung himself into chair
 '''Whats the matter, Gale? his klnd friend inquired. What has happened?
 "Cale looked at him without uttering a word. At last he gained breath enough to say 'lt was you, you cursed scoundrel !! I'll knock blne blazes out of you '!
 "'What do you mean, Gale? What have I done?'
 "'What have you done? Curse you ! You've set the old woman wild She swears she'll git divorce and leave. The prop-rty's all i'll her name, and you've raised the devil. That's what you've done, with your lies and bogus jewelry bill "'I?' was the innocent interrogation.
 "'Yes, you. The old woman described you.'
 Don't you get made, Gale. It was only foke.
 |" Joke be hanged! You've busted up the tavern. I'll murder youn "'But you know, Gale, every fellow ought to he able to take joke
 "'Oh, that be darned This ain't no joke. Its downright murder! You'll have to make it right. Come with me, and see the old woman and explain things. If you don't, I'll never dare to face her again. "I'll do it on one condition, said the friend
 ".What IS it? Gale asked ''That you acknowledge yourself beat, and put mp basket for the boys.
 '' sI'll do it. Gale replied. But I say, Charley. for the Lords sake, don't tell the boys. If you do they'll chaff me to death. Oh, certainly, not a word. "'Well, then, come on, you scoundrel and make it all right with the old woman. ''She was hard to convince, and stil harder to appease. But at last peace reigned. and Gale produced the wine the next day. Somehow the story got out however, and for months afterward any thirsty friend had only to mention young Mrs. Weeks to Gale to be asked to have : drink '
The Press., 1885-04-09
But fairer than all flowers, First-born of sun and showers, Is the arbutus. jewel of the Sprinp.

If you have Sore Throat,a Cough or Cold, tr yB they are pleasant to tue taste, perfectly harmless and will surely you. Retail price, 15 ceuts per quar- ter pound.
 A professional beauty has been photograph ed in 15Q different positions. It is said that the only person who can beat her for variety ot attitudes is a boy told to sit sti on chair
 Scotts Emulsion of Pure God Liver Oil, with Hypophosphites, is most Nutritious and Strengthening. Dr. C.. F. Knight, St. Jo- seph, Mo-, says II have used Scott's Emul- sion for three years, with the greatest satis- faction in all cases, where nntritient medica- ton is required. s,--s~- /
The Press., 1885-04-09
Living

people, who are prominent and influential, Send us their testimonials, certifying what vast amount of good Sulphur Btters has done them.
 The Baggage Master, Boston and Maine Railroad, Lawrence, Mass, A. WILLIAMS, says: For several years was subject to frequent and very attacks of sick headache, caused no doubt by imperfect diges- ten, as my stomach troubled me great deal, and although have spent many dollars, failed to find permanent relief until Iused Sulphur Bitters. Since using this medicine have had no return of the headache, and my stomach has regained it's original tone and vigor, and believe
The Press., 1885-04-09
EXZEMA OR SALT RHEUM.
AnOt h er Clear and Positive N ecOvery
 Am Elderly l.MdY,a I.eIIer.


 Among the numerous letters received by Dr. KeR- nedy testifying to notable Salt Rheuu cnres the fol- lowing will be fonnd Of interest to our readers who may accept of it's perfect authenticity and truthfulnes-:
 WORCESTER Mass, March 23, 1884. Dr. D. Kenn dy, Rondout, N. |. DEAR SIR: Until recently have been for three years sufferer from Salt Rheum. It followed upon an attack of Erysipelas, for which l wss for opg time under medical treatment. placed myself again in the hands of the physicians who did, l have no doubt: all that could be done One thing is sure how ever, was none the setter for all the medicine they gave me. The painful and unsghtly disease made continual progress until began 10 fear should nev CT get rid ot it.
 By means of one of those accidents that often re- sub in go much blessing had my attention called to your Favorite Remedy which was told would sure iy do m" good. used it. and within much shorter time than would have believed possible, received . permanent cure am now perfectly tree from Salt Kheum. What q comfort this is and how it places your wonderful medicine in my opinion, you may glless at, but never know. I keep it now constantly in the house as a family medicine. Yours truly
 MRS. DINAH PHAIR. Mrs Pha'r sometime since, when visit to Kan sas found case of Salt Rheum, could get Favo- rite Remedy, sent to New York City for it, and cured the case.
 For all diseases of the Blood, Liver, Kidneys, Rad- der and Digestive Organs, Dr. David Kennedy's Fla VDritp Remeily. Rondout
The Press., 1885-04-09
Sulphur
Bitters is reliable family medicine.

Bitters is reliable family medicine.
 EDWARD KNOTT, Postmaster, Waverly, Ia., says: l have been in poor health for years, and suffered greatly from bill iousness and torpid liver. have consulted the best physicians and spent great deal of money, wiih no permanent benefit, and had about lost faiti, in everything. Ipurchased three bottles of Sulphur Bitters and commenced to take them i; and, to my great joy, began to feel better after the first dose. My head is free from pain, my ap. petite good, and since using Sulphur Bitters l enjoy life with zest long deemed impossible; and they will purify the blood as no other can dlo
The Press., 1885-04-09
M ALA RIA.
 As an anti malarial medicine
 DIR. DAVID KENNEDY,S FAvORITE REMEDY

has won golden opinions. No traveller should cor
 sider his outfit complete unless it includes bottle of this medicine. If you are exposed to frequent changes of climate food and water Favorite Remedy should always be within your reach It expels ma. larial posons and is the best preventative of chls and malarial fever in the world. It is esperally of
 Tered as trustworthy specific for the ug they ana Liver complaints, C. Estipation a! all cers arising from m impure state of the blood To women who suffer from any Of the ills peculiar o their sex
 Eavorite Remedy is constantly provng itself an un. tor, Dr. D. Kennedy, Rondout, N. Y, $l bottle, for
The Press., 1885-04-09
HOW=7rO MAX El EMONEV

To Successf full Salesmen pay as high as
 $iOO per mouth and expenses. Steady employ m' nt guaranteed. 5O more wanted. Experi- cnee not necessary. Any live man can succeed 5oO acres under cultivation. The most complete packing grounds iu the United States. Newest and choicest varieties of fruit speciality Send for terms, stating age. CHARLES II. CHASE Nurseryman
 25d3m Rochester, N. '.
The Press., 1885-04-09

HE ToLD THE TRUTH.-''I was troubled with Liver Complaint for years, and suffered terribly. Lake, the druggist advised me to take Sulphur Bitters. took three bottles and now am we'll man-L Fenncr Waterbury, Ct
The Press., 1885-04-09

who are now living send us their testimonials We publish nothing from dead persons, or give false names.
 A running sore for 14 years cured. HENRY H. GARcELON, of Lewis ton, Me, says: have suffered with running sore on my leg for the past I4 years, caused by exposure in the army, and have suffered every thing man could, the sore discharging constant ly. l have tried every remedy that heard of, but without benefit. Sulphur Bitters is the only thing that ever did me any good. When com menced taking them could not put my foot on the floor. can now put my whole foot on the floor and walk on it. think Sulphur
The Press., 1885-04-09

B.-H Douglass & Sons Perfected Capsicum Cough Drops are manufactured by themselves and are the result Of forty years experience in compounding cough mixtures Retail price, I5 cents per quarter |
The Press., 1885-04-09
BitterS

have saved my life There IS nothing like them. earnestly entreat all afflicted with i'm pure blood to try them and be cured.
 The Cashier of the Boston Loan Co.,, VIM. E. DURGIN, says: recommend your Sulphur Bitters as the best spring medicine I have ever used; there is nothing like them to give an appetite, tone up the system, and do away with that languid feeling which is so fire quent among those confined indoors. If you are sick and unable to obtain relief from other med- cines, try Sulphur Bitters, for it will cure you. Cleanse the vitiated blood when you see it's i'm purities bursting through the skin in pimples blotches and sores.
The Press., 1885-04-09
This Method Offers
 a sszs ,E1S aa7- =-a. Unusual Attractions.

As it adapts itself to every ones condition or circumstances. It is peculiar and special feature at our establishment, and to parties who propose making any changes in their household, or to those anticipating commence ing housekeeping, this method is of great value And further, we assure our cash cus- toners that this S, stem will in no way affect their interest, for our goods will always be found lower than the same quality of goods can be purchased elsewhere.
 Further information cheerfully given by calling at
The Press., 1885-04-09
WEEKLY OR MONTHLY P A Y M -E " IT $!

By this class we were constantly urged to give credit i'll some way, so us to bring our goods within their reach, and were offered the best of reference, ample security. &c., &c.
 We were willing to accommodate if we could safely do so without additional trouble, and having but little faith in the loose reference and credit system, we established the system of selling our goods and taking security for the faithful payment of the same on the same article thus being secured against loss, and contracting no bad debts, we are enabled to sell our goods at the
The Press., 1885-04-09
They Will Cure You.

of the Raymond Excursions to California A. m failed
The Press., 1885-04-09
R9<EEE YE INSFALLMENT PLAN! .Gfgi9SlFIea

MA system of furnishing goods by 2 Weekly and Monthly Payments Has been practieed by us for years and con- fined mostly to our old customers and their friends, introduced by them. I2s f.
 This system was first introduced by us at the earnest solicitation of many people with fixed incomes and smal means. who prefer GOING TO HOUSEK EEPING Rather than board ont. but had not the ready means to purchase an outfit for cash vet conld
 PAY PORTION DOWN, And keep house much cheaper than they could board, and in this way they could save from their salary enough to make
The Press., 1885-04-09

If s'too hoarse to sIng," use PoTAsKA.
The Press., 1885-04-09
To far Greater Advan antage.

Yet such parties would not for a moment think of taking credit and giving security by chattel mortgage to be publicly recorded, nor would they like to have their credit, for few hundred dollars, questioned among their friends and acquaintances, nor yet were they inclined to pay an exorbitant price for the accommodation. With such our system is viewed in the same light as the discount of a bank, and although our transactions are con- ducted in the same straightforward and exact ing manner, they are more private i'll their character, as we require no references, and make no inquiries in regard to any one property hired are ample security under any circumstances.
The Press., 1885-04-09
AGENTS WANTED '

AGENTS: This grand book i. ont selling all 1.hers 10 to Ministers. Editors ritic., etc nnanslifedy who hawa sold 2bO inte:r rcpec,i townships. We want jew good ensm men r0inenin this vicinity at snce We give Ert'm I,,@a .nd l,xiah Now is the Ertracts, re. Correspondence invited. Address
 A. D. W0RTHING1Oa 4 O., Hartford, Coan-
The Press., 1885-04-09

for working people. Send 10 cents HIT D postage, and we will mail you free ACAA royal, valuable sample box of goods
 that will put you in the way of making more money in few days than you ever thought possible at any business. Capital not required. You can live at home and work in spare time only, or all the time All of both sexes, of all ages grandy suc- cessful. 30 cents to s easily earned every evening. That all who want work may test the business, we make this unparalleled offers Te all who are not well satisfied we will send $1 to pay for the trouble of writing Full particulars, directions, etc., sent free. Immense pay absolutely sure for all who start at once. Don't delay. Address SrINsoN < Co. Por1- land Maine W &f*
The Press., 1885-04-09

W1EhCI1AN1 1S ble their profits by introducing line of goods, indispensable to all families, will address for full particulars
 HEALTH FOOD CO.,. 26fiy
 No. s3 Ath Avenue, New York.
The Press., 1885-04-09

MO PR ESEN'rS :. ss0USEKEEPERS, ss 2 " NO CLUBS. Having negotiated with the largest Tea importers of New York for all their sam- pie Teas will send any part of the United States on receipt of $l 25 three pounds mixed black green tea such as is reailed for $ and upwards per pound Expressage free. Sample pounds 50 cents.
 POST CO, 21 Beekmai-st. New York
The Press., 1885-04-09

TT IS THIS PRIVATE, MONMOUTH ING SYSTEM, THAT SECURES US A MUCH BETTER CLASS OF CUSTOMERS THAN WOULD ASK CREDIT IN ANY OTHER FORM. &5 &a .s + ! @s5
 At the present time when, with diminished income and uncertain prospects, every one is economizing and endeavoring to make d dol lar go far as possible.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-18

A Paris letter to the New York Cour-
rier des Etats Unis describes the scenes at
Victor Hugo's bedside during his illness.
On Holy Thursday several guests, in
Guiding M. de Lesseps, dined at Hugo's
house, and the poet was in high spirits,
and gave no token of approaching ILL
ness. In the middle of the following
night ne was seized with some trouble of
the heart, which rapidly developed into
the malady that ended his life. In a
few days he became convinced that he
could not recover, and to those who
spoke to him encouragingly of his con-
dition, he replied:
''No, it is the end. l feel that 1 am
going to die"
On the morning of May 10, three days
before his death, Nine. Lockroy asked
him:
elbow do you feel, father?"
"Well, very we'll, he replied. eft is
death: it is welcome"
Then to nj. Lockroy he said: "My
friend, it is dying man who speaks to
you" He added an instant later:
'Death is very long; it is too long,
In the course of the preceding night,
during moment of delirium, he pro
nounced in loud voice a French line.
Then he talked of his grandchildren.
Between his fits of delirium he conversed
| freely with the members of his family.
One day he seemed buried in recolIec
tions of his youth; then he talked ra-
tionally with the bystanders, and sud
denly, in the midst of the talking, he
began to recite verses of SIP anish poet
He had always had liking for Spain
in which country he passed part of his
| childhood.
AS soon as the attacks passed he woulG
resume his cheerful mood.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-18
FARM AND HOUSEHOLD
Remedy for NIiIdeyv.

English gardeners have been testing
sulphide of potassium for destroying
mildew and other injurious fungi that
attack plants. and it is reported with ex-
celient results. The microscopic fungi
are far more troublesome in the humid
climate of Great Britain than in this
country, but we occasionally have sea-
sons during which mildew is quite
prevalent upon the grape, gooseberry,
and similar garden fruits, as well as
upon plants grown under glass. If sui
phide of potassium solutions will destroy
nearly all the smaller species of fungi,
as it is claimed it does in England, it
will be worth trying in this country,
whenever and wherever an occasion pre-
sents. The quantity of the sulphlde to
be used in barrel of water is not pre-
cisely stated by our English contcm-
poraries. but it is reported that twenty
five cents worth is sufficient for thirty
two gallons of water, which Is rather IN
definite, as dealers do not al sell artl-
Giles of this kind at one and the same
price.-Neao York Sun.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-18
An Extraordinary Capture

A thief contrived to gain admission into
a set of chambers during the absence of
the lawful occupant, and at once pro-
ceedcd to lay hands on everything of
value he could find. In the midst of his
operations it occurred to him that his
wardrobe, was in urgent need of renewal,
and he therefore took off his clothes with
a view of replacing them by others he
found in the room. Scarcely, however,
had he reduced himself to the garb of
primitive man when he heard step out
side, and promptly laid himself under
the bed. Some one entered the room, and
the thief lay noiseless for several minutes.
At length the new conner departed and
he ventured to leave his hiding place.
But, much to his disgust, he discovered
that his visitor had been Il gentleman in
his own way of business, for not only
was everything in the chamber carried
off, but even his own suit of clothes dis
appeared! He was therefore compelled
to await the return of the owner of the
property, who handed him over to the
police