Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-06-25
A YOUTHS TRIALS.
An which an Armchair and Two
Girls Play the Leading Roles.
Memphis Avalanch


a citizen of this city has two pretty
daughters Last winter in some way
Mr.. Flaxen curls made their acquaint-
ance. No one realized what an expen-
sive acquaintanceship this was except
the prominent but not wealthy citizen.
ORDINARILY he burned but one fire dur
ing the winter, as the coal dealers want
a little less than the earth for the
wherewithal to make a fire. Well, to
come back to the subject. Mr.. Flax
en-curls used to sit up with the young
ladies out On Union street about SIX
times q week and once on Sunday.
The young Ladies were each and in
dividually smitten with him IN a
desultory kind of way. But Flaxcy
did not come up to their expectations
in short he did not wish to solve
the connundrum how two could be
won. His fancy was equally divided
between the two sisters, first dangling
on to the eldest girls apron string
and then giving his allegiance to the
other. This soon tired the young
ladies, SO they came to the conclusion
that he did not mean biz. They went
to work last Friday and went into q
committee of the whole to devise ways
and means whereby they might give
Curly the shake.
This was a difficult matter, as you
could hit the young man with brick
house and he would not take a hint.
At last a mutual friend of both parties
gave the girls clue to work on, and
that was this curly~ha1red youths
modesty. He was actually so bashful
that If one of his chums spoke to him
suddenly the youths face wOuld be-
come the color of a newspaper mans
nose. Consulting with their mother,
the young ladies hit upon a plan.
When the youth called that evening
at 7:44, as he had done precisely for
seven months and five days, he was
shown into the parlor precisely as he
had been for seven months and five
days. He enscorned himself in an
arm chair, spread out his feet, and
sticking his thumbs in the armholes
of his vest, sat a perfect picture of
coEplacency.
The door opened and the young
ladies stood before him. Advancing,
each young lady picked out separate
knee, and there sat with their fair
arms surrounding his neck to the
youths utter astonishment. His feel
ings, those of bashful man, can
scarcely be realized, and to add to his
horror an Omlnous step was heard In
the hallway, and before ne could free
himself from under the pile of muslin
and laces, a to all appearance irate
mother stood before him, and IN no
gentle words ordered the double deal
ing young man from the room and
house. When the door had closed on
his haxen ringlets the mother and
daughters all had good laugh oyer
the young mans misfOrtunes. Now,
Curley belonged to.a Doto Poke club,
which the young ladies' sometimes at
tended; so they, with rash disregard
for honor, let the cat out of the bag
and related the history of that Friday
night. The boys got hold of it and
made the pcor youths life burden
to him. At last the wretched young
man determined on committing sui
eide. With that end in view he went
down on the Ieyee to take leap into
the seething waters of the river, but
as he was now such a hater of the
wAole female race he would not lei
any Miss conquer him, so he walked
back up the bluff. He could stand
the badinage and ralllery no longer
SO he saw his ma, took the train, an
by this time is in the fair city of Mo
bile, out of recch of all raillery and
mirth.