Omaha daily bee., 1885-11-14
IHIPHETIEs.

what Is the worst thug abogt richcS?'
asked the SUNDAY school superintendent
Aud the new boy said, Not having any
Free Press.
SUNDAY {, the golden clasp which binds to-.
gcthcr the yCiuriC Ct The week. II Is ais q
good time Cor one to null Of his boots aud Try
all the hNuion remedies ~acCUinu4ated During
the preceding sin days.
The difference between ,hc two men /; that
MIR. Cleveland lays 2 81 bill in the. voutrIb3-
ton box AZ church, while Nj. Hcudfic,s
throws n silver quarter IN 50 heavily as 20
make 1t heard all over The room.
A little girl attending church last Sunday
vita her mother was given the change to put
in the contribution boz, After /; had been
passed around The little Eirl looked up and
said. MA, l paid for four. Was that richt?'
4 western clergyman SAYS that if men aud
wcmen arr 10 dance AZ allthoy ought tod0uce
in separate rooms. husbands will please
take notice, and hereafter when they put
their bare root on u tack they viii see To IL
that it happens when THEN wives axe III an
other room.
Bromley, YOU never heard such an elo-
quCnt sermon before, | AIN sure. There was
no tagging of nt,rcSt, such brilliant pas
sagcs - Yes. Darriugcr. | adult that.
Still | slept during one OF the passages,
You did, ell? Why, bromley, what passage
was it?' The passage of The collection baS-
ket. '-lPhiiadelrhia Call.
The polls were about closing Mt shutdown,
I ui~NllN, III tllt WY VI lih' iNtANl ll'Nl bA Nltn
OF 'lht-sun-dn.moyc' fame, when II cororcd
brother ~sorruwfully said: oh! dat we had
Joshua here fur to make de sun stan stili iur
an hOur!' Joshua, we are informed, did not
show up.
A West side clergyman. while proceeding
from one heading OF his discourse to another
theme, Sunday evening, announced. But |
pass - Before he could proceed with his
remarks Il man in the gallery, just awakened
irum somnUlent luthargy, shouted ut the top
OF his voice: Then | mako it spadcS!'
Adirondack w. II. II. Murray remarked in
his lecture at Rutland. VT. that the credit Of
the management OF his Montreal restaurant
was due To his sister and two noble girls, and
that ii anyone dared 10 couple the names of
these women with disgrace he would XII! him
on the spot. And yet tine sanguinary w. IL.
II. Murray used to be a clergyman.
ParSun Downs church was crowded last
Sunday and hundreds were turned away.
The Beruhaldt and Langtry style of adrCrtls-
ing certainly pays, From u struggling sllcp-
herd who found it hard TO make both ends
meet, he IS now a paying card 10 any lecture
bureau at 500 Il night. The moral seems To
be that it dorsn I pay to he moral.-lBtns-
hampton Republican.
"ltheatS all creation" muttcrGd old MullCt-
head, "wtlat pains swindlerS will take to beat
honest men. Here somebody has Sadd!ed II
lead Decent piece OIL on me, Can you
pass it ~againa' timely suggested his lesser
half. Pass it, he shouted "why, the thing
IS as black as my hat. No. I'll have to put it
III tle contribution nOS.
Rev. Mi. Mangasarlan of philadelphia says
! ( i, possible for a man TO he Il Christian with
. Iut believing than Jonah was swallowed II,
a whale, 1t is easy enough to believe that
Jonah was swallowed ny Il Whale, but tn"
story about his being thrown out on dry land
after q few days ~SOi0urn in the interior de
partmeut is what wrecks The Credulity Of
man.
a tramp printer set up the doirgs Of n sun
day school convention for a Hartford paper,
the proof of which was not read. After The
napGr lad been worked of the following sen
/ nee was ouu in the report: From 10 10
1880 song and dance by Rev. MI. Curry
This caused Il sensation, during which the
typo made his escape.
sit ILLS my heart with iOy.' said an earnest
country pastor, at the end of hIs sermon, ITO
see so many strangers among oar congIt ga
ton on this beautiful Sabbath morning. so
iOurnerS in our town are always welcome;
we want them to come. Young men and old
men whom pleasure or business has called
away from the SOitening influences of home,
we greet with open hearts. The collection
will now be taken up
The revised revision of the bible isn't sell
ing nearly rs fast as its publishers ant!ct-
pat d The smaller editions 90 well, but the
qua.,us stay pcrSistcntly on the publishers
shelves. The explanation is simple enough.
The old fashioned family bible is lu-tas gOUd
autumn leaves, and It ism I every family thai
can afford to keep up with the very latest
style in b .bleS these hard times.
A man who used to preach the gospel in
the settlements has written to Il friend III
Eureka, New, that he is running a bar il
Ilcda, Montana, and that his partner is
Waugh, an u.d-timer from CalifOrn Il who
used TO deal faro in Colorado, aud was sem
to penitentiary tor bur -lary. lie is Il GOOD
gambling man." dec ares his eX-clerical part
ner in a burst Of admiration, and adds by
way of personal yindication: "SelIin+
whisky pays better than preaching, and be
sides il is no harder work"