davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-03-14

g~It would take wise man to pen
citrate the subtle and intricate process
es of young woman's reasoning. Il
don't like Mr.. L. we heard one say
to another not long ago. 'Why7' ask
ed her listener. 20, to begin with, he
wears lavender gloves, was the re-
sponse, and to both these petticoated
critics the matter seemed sufficiently
discussed and satisfactorily settled.-N.
Y Grabhic.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-03-14

B9~As the result of some very care
full tests recently made, it is estimated
that an electric dot travels at the rate
of 10000 miles per second, or o,6oo,-
900 miles per minute. This is not
quite up to the speed of light, which
travels IL, 900, 900 miles per minute.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-03-14

B9-"Kitty, where's the frying pan ?"
"Johnny's got it, carting mud and
oyster shells up the alley, with the cat
for a horse" "The dear little fellow
what genius he'll make; but go and
get it. We're going to have company,
and must fry the fish for dinner"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-03-14
He Won't EIODe.

He looked all around to see if any
body was within hearing, and then
dropped his voice to a whisper and
said:
"Boss, 1 reckon you kin gin me
leetle informashun. What does pus-
son do when he elopes?"
"Why, an elopement is when man
and woman or boy and girl run away
together"
''Whar' do dey go tor"
"Oh, anywhere they decide upon"
"Who pays de expenses?"
"The man, of course"
"How long am dey gone p
Sometimes week-sometimes for
ever"
"Who pays de expenses back2"
"The man."
"What becomes of de woman's hus-
band ?"
"Well, he generally arms himself
with shotgun, and if he overhauls the
couple he shoots seven kinds of daylight
through the man and forgives his wife
and takes her home"
"Fo' de Lawd I! Shoots right at YEP"
eyes"
"Fills ye right full O. shot7"
eyes"
"Doan' gin ye no time to run or re-
pent, an can't be bought off wild a
silver watch and S2?"
"No, SIR
"Nowl Say!'
"Well"
'I isn't gwine I'ze changed my
mind Good day !"
B@TMrs. Snoberly, very aristocrat-
ic New York lady, received visit from
a friend, who, among other gossip said {:
''Do you know that your son has
been several times in company with a
seamstress7 Everybody is talking about
it."
"Oh, that doesn't amount to any
thing" replied Mrs. Snoberly, smiling.
'But l am told that the young lady
is perfectly respectable"
"Horrible ! Horrible !"shrieked the
agonized mother. ''He may bring dis
grace upon our family by marrying
her. Whitehall Times.
S-"How did you begin life2" the
young man asked the great man. Z"
didn't begin it," truthfully replied th
great man. "It was here when l go
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-03-14

aG~Plantinum wire has been drawn
so fine as to be absolutely invisible to
the naked eye.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-03-14

s-"How did you begin life" the
young man asked the great man. 81
didn't begin it," truthfully replied the
great man. "It was here when l got
here"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-03-14

A PRIZE.---Send six cents for postage, and
Areceive free, costly box of goods which will
help all, of either sex, to more money right away
than anything else in this world Fortunes await
the workers absolutely sure. At once address
TRUE Co., Augusta, Maine. (Mch.22,' ,'s4y*.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

The Philadelphia NcwS is waging
war against the lenemcnt-house cigars
of New York. 1t contains descrip.
tjons of the people who make tho ci-
gars and the places in which they
work. In the Sunday edition large
part of the first page is devoted to an
account of the evil and illustrations
are introduced TO show in n more viv-
id way what the correspondents actu-
ally saw. There are pictures of
squalid rooms recking with filth, with
dirty babies crawling over the leaf to-
bacCo. There are pictures of women
sick to dclirium, tossing their arms
wildly, surrounded by cigarmakers all
hard at work regardless of the pesti-
lential surroundings. And there is
one illustration Of what reporter
saw which almost surpasses belief
the corpse of woman badly decom-
posed in the midst of men and wo-
men all busily engaged IN making
cigars.
The NeWS shows condition of
things almost equaling Chinatown in
this city. There is this difference,
however, that while the smoker OF
tenement-house cigars might contract
measles or smallpox, the smoker of
the Chinese article is in constant dan
ger of leprosy, In the Iirst case he
merely risks disease and DEATH in the
second he risks the most horrible of
living deaths, San Francisco Daily
Report.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16
Ocean Waves.

The results of series Of observa-
tions carried out by the Hydrographi-
cal Bureau at Washington, in order to
determine the length, depth and uura-
ton of ocean waves, have been pub
lished. The largest wave observed is
said to have had length of half a
mile, and to have spent itself in 20
seconds. During storms in the North
Atlantic waves sometimes extend to a
length of 800 and 600 feet, and last
from 10 to IL seconds. The most care.
full measurements of the heights of
waves give from A to 48 feet as an
extreme limit. The average height of
great waves is about 80 feet These
measurements refer to ordinary ma
rine action. and do not relate to earth
quake action or other exceptional
agencies.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

Pr. McCoSh NJ ofrrnrrtun.
Long before scientific subjects and
foreign tongues are begun boys should
be taught their own language. Let
them become acquainted with the or
binary branches, reading, writing and
arithmetic; and in the earliest stages
with nothing more, unless in eases of
decided taste. At the age of . or 10
comes the true time for learning Ian
guagcS. Then the child can acquire
more in this department than man of
%. At this date | first began my own
Latin, and think that Greek may well
bc begun year or SO later. This Ian
guage period continues until about Il,
and up till this time don't approve
abstract scientific teaching, Let chill
drcn become acquainted with the OBJ
iccts with which science deals. But at
this age abslruSc scientific reasoning
often Injuries the brain. After II or
IL, however, these subjects may be in
trodHccd. In my opinion boy should
be prepared for college at lG. | know
that in the German gl mnasa the
higher teaching begins at 10 and lasts
until Is, when the Young men enter
the universities But these inStitu-
tons are far more elaborate and bet
ter equipped than our primary schools,
and the young men who are sent from
them to the universities are as highly
educated as those in the sophomore
class of an American college.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

A druggist on Broadway said that
the stage-coaches were the healthiest
riding vehicles in existence, none ex,
ceptod. "Why, all the ladies who
rode daily in them were in excellent
health as a general rule. Some who
were my customers and bought a good
deal of medicine to assist digestion
before they began to ride on tho lum-
bering omnibuses never suffered from
that complaint afterward. Actually,
l believe riding in those coaches cured
me of dyspepsia. For ten years rode
down to my store almost daily in them.
When | started | had bad case of
dyspepsia. In Ia year | felt consid-
erably better, and in three years | was
entirely well. l attribute my recovery
to the coaches. The exertion of get
ting in, and then the forward lunge
to put the change in the box; then,
perhaps, to return to the rear again to
get seat and while on the way to
fall over a half dozen laps-these
were minor affairs compared to the
iolting, pumping seat. Finally | be-
came a coach-riding fiend. became
used to the jolts and bumps, and never
felt so contented as when could
knock over several passengers in my
attempt to sit down. became an ex.
pert, and could tell others who were
veteran coachers and reckless of re-
suits. 1t is good feeling to have a
suro sign of health. l can ride in a car
now, but it is monotonous and tame
and utterly without exertion. Those
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16
hailed with enthusiasm by women, 10
Al,

hailed with enthusiasm by women, 10.
cause it interests the men.
Professional and other notabilitics
have been plentiful in New York of
late, the close of the season bring na
them FIR their annual little visit to the
Metropolis. Miss Florence Marryatt
has be II resting and recovering from
the hardships Of her wintc campaign
and the horror OF tearing through rag
ing storms into c 1T committee rooms,
without food TO keep lecture engage
mcnts. NJ $, Anna Dickinson has al
SO paid a dying visit, her old enemy,
neuralgia, and the malaria which
fastened itsc upon her vitals at tho
west, hand.capping her in her own
work, in which, however, she shows
her old fire, and yigor. AT Il meeting
Of SOrosis which she attended. a word
was said VIII Ch st t'rrCd her bl. and
the Anna Dickinson ofthc old days,
the eloquent defender of human rights,
burst forth in speech rs impHssioncd
as any she ever delivered to her thous-
ands Of auditors. Devastating fires in
Chicago, the Morrcl fire in New York
and some Unsuccessful ventures, have
swept away the savings OF earlier
yeas, not so great as people generally
supposed for Anna Dickinson had
heavy responsibilities was generous to
a fault, an could no fOrScc her disaS-
tcrS by fire and trcachcry She is still
the same brave woman, however, ask.
ing no odds, working induStriously,
and faithful to every duty There is a
career for her abroad, but she cannot
leave her mother 10 whom she has al
ways been devoted, and who in her
old age cling, to her as TO her sole de-
nnnInupp
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16
TIE LORDS OF LABOR.

They come, they come, in glorious march,
You can hear their steam-steeds neigh,
AS they dash through SkilI's triumphal arch.
or plunge mid the dancing spray.
Their bale fires blaze in the mighty forge,
Their life-pulse throb4 in the mill,
Their lightnlngs shiyer the gaping gorge,
And their thunders shake the hill.
Ho! these are the Titans Of toll and trade,
The heroes who WELD no sabre;
But mightieT conquests reapeth the blade
That is borne by the Lords Of Labor.
Brave hearts like jewels light the sod
Though the mists Of commerce shine,
And souls flash out, like stars of God,
From the midnight Cf the mine.
No palace Is theirs, no castle great,
No princely pillar'd hall;
But they well may laugh at the roofs Of state
Meath the heaven which is over ALL
Hoi these are the Titans Of toll and trade,
The heroes who WELD no sabre:
But mighlicr cOnQuests rcapeth the blade
winch is borne by the Lords Of Labor.
Each bares his arm for the ringing strife
That marshals the sons OF the soil,
And the sweat'drops shed in their battle Of life
Are gems in the crown Of toll.
And better their wcll-worn wroaths trow,
Than laurels with lltc-boOd wet;
And nOblcr the arch Of a bare, bold brow
Than clasp Of CorOnct.
ThCu hurrah for each hero, although his deed
BE unblOwn by the trump or tabor.
For boiler, happier far is the need
That CrOwnclh the Lords Of Labor!
--,IdurS UCtdrl1jp.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16
pcn,lerlcc

Fan Francisco ''ponr,
\ visit to thinrc printing c,iab'
li>hmrnt j. productive of much that is
interesting Movable tyres are not in
use in the san Francisco Chinese news
paper office. The manner Of getting q
Chinese newspaper on the press and
printing it is very primitive, The ed.
itor takes American newspapers t,
lricnd,, from whom he gels a tran,la,
ton Of the matter he needs, and after
getting il written in Chinese in a man.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

st Nicholas.
Gathering fruit is a frequent prac-
tice of animals, and yet there is a
stratagem attributed to that "walking
bunch of toothpicks" called the hedge
hog which is curious enough to deserve
Special mention. 1t seems that fruit
is frequently found in the hedgehog s
eping-apartments, and its presence
there is explained in this remarkable
way: 1t is known that hedgehogs
often climb walls, and run of upon
low boughs, and instead of scrambling
down in the same manner they boldly
make leap from the top to the ground,
sometimes ten or twelve feet. They
coil into ball in the air, strike upon
their armor of spihes, and bound away
unharmed. In taking this jump they
have been seen to strike upon fallen
fruit which, thus impalled upon their
spines, was carried away by hem; and
this has given rise to the opinion
that in some such way they may have
stored their winter homes.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

is superior in its powers of attraction
TO town-mectng or country club-in
fact, it has created during the past
winter in hundreds of rural ncighbor-
hoods, a club which is not costly, and
in the privileges of which both men
and women participate. The several
Oranges, East Orange, South Orange
North Orange, and Orange proper,
which make up the prettiest and most
important suburb of New York, have
had progressive cuchre very severely
indeed, church members, deacons and
their wives, and even the pastors, in n
quiet way, having all taken the cpl
demic. To the very good, or the very
bad players, or to those who know how
to count, it is very exciting game,
for they get the prize. Then it is free
from the common objection of close
and uninterrupted propinquity, for
partners are changed every three min
utes at the ringing OF bell, at the first
table, and general shuttle of the
players takes place, everybody taking
somebody's partner, and some
body else's place in a way, which is
at least, distracting. Everyone has a
chance, and each one does his, or her
own counting without inspectors or
censorship. Prizes are given away
layishly. One Young couple are said
toha We gone to housekeeping on the
profits, or the result of the winters
euchre parties, Highest counts, sec
ond highest, third highest, and fourth
highest, get a prize, also the low
est, second lowest, and others in
cluding the man who talks the
most and the woman who talks the
least. In fact thcr, are no limits to
prizes, but the generosity or means of
the hostess. The gentlemen are as
wild after their little scent bags. and
pretty china cups and saucers, as the
ladies, and the announcement OF the
winners is l'.tened to with breathless
interest. Progressive Euchre is GER
tainly good for another season, and is
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

IT is useful to remember that the
postal-rate change does not affect let.
ters weighing less than an ounce.
There is no one.cent rate and half.
ounce letters still require two-cent
stamp. The change encourages vol
luminous letters.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

cars running down Broadway mean
indigestion and dyspepsia, for they
will have no spasmodic jolts at each
block to dash man foot or two
from his seat. But | am druggist
and have 90. the medicine, so | cant
complain. "-New YorE MaiL and En-.
ggygy
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

The eel has peculiar way of re-
tanning desired position in swift run,
ming water. He settles on some sharr
rock, faces up stream, and making Q
hook of the head and forward part Of
the body drops it over the upper side
of the rock and takes his ease.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

It is easier to tell a lie than 1t is ia
catch fish.
A woman's bonnet must be ortho.
dox before her prayer-book is.
Winter sets in when poverty comes.
Principles, not pulpits, make a
church.
The knife that cuts custard pie
may also cut throat.
The best fitting coat is one that is
paid for.
God makes the roses, and the devil
puts the thorns on.
The hand opens when the heart
does.
The sculptured face on a gold coin
may be beautiful, but neither tears
nor smiles ever break It's monotony.
Hearts build religion for brains to
tear down.
Girls think men are all SOUL women
know they are all stomach.
The preacher turns young love- s
dream into a nightmare.
Fortune feeds soup TO most men
with fork. Merchant Traveller
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

The head of one New York clothing
house is quoted by The Times as say.
ing that his firm spent over $1,000
last year in signs along highways and
railroads, money, he AYERS, that was
''all wasted" because the scheme has
been so much overdone.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

SALMoN-FIsHING around the islands
between Japan and Siberia is rare
sport. A scientific traveller describes
seriously the abundance of fish.
"They exist in such numbers that dur
ing the summer and autumn seasons
their fins sticking out OF the water
near the entrances of the rivers look
like masses of tangled kelp." A sin
gle haul brings to land five thousand
salmon.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16
JENNY JUNE TELLS
How the Modern Man Dislikcs 10 Ac.
count TO Ills Wife for Absent Hours.

TIE RAGE FOR THE STAGE.

THE RAGE FOR THE STAGE.
Amateur thCatrcals have been the
most successful cntrrta nmcnts given
here during the past season, and there
is n rage for them, both among young
men and women. The absence of Mrs.
James B. Potter, the leading lady am
atcur in Europe, will be a draw back,
but it is thought, will result in the de.
yelOpmcnt of other talent that vii now
have more of n chance. Between the
aSpirants profess onal and un-profcs.
sional, the stage ought to be well sup
piled with leading lad cS at least;
every one expecting 10 roach this
goal and hccD me the recipients
of mammoth baskets of Jacqucmiot
roses, at one and two dollars each
RACES, OF course, alwayN dc out, sue
cess, genuine, permanent success, de-
pcnds just as il alway> has and always
will on character, dcicrminat Oh, per
severance; particularly the latter
Sticking to it will get Il certain meas
ure of success, out of ANYTHING. but
sticking TO it means energy, courage,
patience, which are anything but ANA
leur virtues.
THE MODERN MAN,
AT least in this city, has mo strong
home feeling. Clubs, restaurants thea
tres, and the thousand and one WAYS
Of diSpONing of himself and his time,
have taken il all out uf him. His
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

LABoUcHERE says that so far as he
has ever been able 10 understand the
conservative foreign policy, it is to
grovel before Prince Bismarck, and
to insult France and every other really
constitutional state.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

BLAcKsNAKEs are stripping the gov
ernmcnt tish-ponds near Washington
OF ther iinny occupants. The reptiles
are said to increas in numbers nearly
as rapidly as the fish.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

A SOCIETY is to be formed in New
York for the prevention of cruelty to
coachmen. The spectacle of n very
English private coachmen, clad in a
heavy coat buttoned to the chin, wear
ing stiff hat and washleather gloves,
sitting for an hour on his box in a
broiling sun, awaiting the pleasure of
his employer, is the motive cause of
this new development of philanthropy.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

In Lincoln county, New Mexico,
near the Pattos mountain, can be trac-
cd the walls of a once large city. In-
side the walls arc growing monster
cedar trees said to be thousands of
wears old,
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

A SON of Chief Moses, 20 years of
age, was drowned in the Column
bia river, Oregon, some days ago
while attempting to swim across at
Fort Colyille.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

NINE out of every ten Russians eat
with wooden spoons, from wooden
plates and bowls, and drink water
from wooden dippers.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

LIGHTNING is reflected for $50 to
200 miles, and thunder may be heard
20 or 25 miles.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

Mrs. LABoUCHERE writes to an init.
mate friend that Mr.. Labouchere and
she will probably visit the United
States in autumn.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

When woman has bought her hus-
band seventy-iive cent shirt and got
ten dollar bonnet for herself, there
is heaven born look of gratliied love
and happiness in her eyes that would
make tax collector weep to be the
subject Of.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

AN ingenious New York lady has
invented a way to travel with money
without anxiety. She had travelling
dress trimmed elaborately with but
tons. The cheaper ones contained
gold pieces neatly laid between the
wooden molds and covered with cloth
in the usual fashion. \The costlier
buttons verb stuffed with United
States notes. As fast as she required
cash she clipped of button.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

REPORTS from sixteen counties of
Washington territory place the wheat
crop at 10000, 900 bushels.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

A TOMATO vine at Plant City, Fla,
covers space seyenty-fve feet in cir
cnmfeIcnco, and bore all last winter.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

The Columbia river salmon pack to
date is 5000 cases less than for the
same time last year.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

LORD SALISBURY is the first prime
minister the queen of England has
had younger than herself.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

An alleged 'petriied man" has been
discovered near Santa Cruz, Cal.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

AMERICAN sportsmen have gone to
the lower st. Lawrence in large num-
bers this season to fish.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16
RANDOM CLIPPINGS,

LoRD SALISBURY considers It an
honor to be called q journalist.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

A musical expert saws that one man in a
thousand can whistlea tune. The trouble 10
every man thinks he Is that one Bmlingion
Fres Pres.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

STRANGE things have been done in
recent years in the way of moving
buildings and large masses of stone
and brick, but none has been more
curio. than the moving of brick
factory.chimney in Salem, Mass, a
few weeks ago. The chimney was
ninety feet high and only six and one
half feet at the base. BY the aid of
SIX workmen this clumsy structure
was lifted, moved distance of one
hundred feet, and safely deposited
upon a new foundation. A sway of
only three inches would have been
enough to bring the whole mass down
like so many bricks in a Buddenseick
building. The load weighed 1870 tons.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-16

W. NJ. BEAUoHAMP tells in The
Young antiquarian ofa discussion that
recently arose among the Onondago
Indians of New York on the form of
the earth. One Indian said it was
round, because men had travelled in a
straight line and come back to the
same place. To this it was replied
that men were apt to travel in circles,
as they often do when lost. Then it
was urged that white men said so, and
they knew more than the Indians; but,
it was answered, white men often lied,
as the Indians very well knew. A
practical philosopher solved the whole
difliulty by driving stake into the
ground and placing an apple on it at
night. In the morning the apple was
still there, to, his great satisfaction;
whereas, he said, il the earth had re-
volved in the night the apple would
have fallen of. The question is no
longer discussed there,
.H