The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1885-10-22
GOGGLES.
Tho Nusband's Coatiy Experience with
HIS Wifo's Darling Dog s"GoogIes."

| hts Wtte's Darling Pot Dog "GooBies'
ut makos tho veins in my forehead
swell. and my hat suddenly grows too
small for NO." said u woli-known club
man tho othor day. Ito think OF \ little
pct brute that resides where am stop
ping ut present lin fHct. ho belongs to
my wifo.d Ilittle thought, whom tho
dog-hawker. who has becfsteaks tied
to his legs to allure dogs, stopped me-
on broadway and suggested that i
should buy the fawn- col0red post, that
ne had designs on my poaco of mind.
Otherwise l should have strangled
him. In q weak moment I won't homo
and told my vito had seen such q
pretty pug-I thought tho dog pretty
then. From that ,momunt / had no
rest; she wanted him at oncc. tried
to dodge tho issue. but 10 no good.
Every day camo uptown my wife
would throw her arms around my neck
i havo boon married threo yoars and
know what that means, and whisper,
Darling, has tho lhan sold that pretty
pug yetp Mop Thon, Charley. dear,
wont you buy him for me2 Tho
Griggs have pug, and it makos mo
sick to think haven't got ono, too. ;
! bought that pug, and we havo had
heas ever since.
"For two weeks my wifo kept mo
awake ut nights asking me how l liked
this mamie and that name for her pot
She went through every book in tho
library in search Of an inspiration. 1t
was nc use. Thon she tcasod MO for
names. ! suggested 'Kapitanos AN
titratlkas. and sho laughed at mo; l
mentioned Stuffey1neguzzen.' and she
got mad. ! thon retired from the
christening racket. and she settled on
GOGGLES. Thoro were other Googlcses
in tho dog world, so our pug is now
known as Lanjan's GOGGLES, and groat.
moss has thus boon thrust upon me.
Such is famc.
"From tho first Googlos was all
thore. He had as;many points as Wall
strcct in a month. His color was tho
thing until my wife gavo him a bath,
and tAon tho paint washed of, This
nearly broke her hoart. and have had
to engago the man who swindlod mo
to come twice week and touch Coo
giles up. Tho man says: 'Yer can bot
yer sweet life am tho boss fakir in
America Tho GOGGLES lay too much
by the fire, and tho glue softoncd and
his tail uncurlcd and stuck straight
out liko pointers. Tho ir-dresser
has to como and crimp it cvory morn
Ing, My wife would sigh and say: o,
Charley, do look ut him now, tho little
darling, look at his beautiful eycs; sec
how they express his lovo for me-
agreed with her; I:rathor thought they
glitterod, especially tho loft one.
was right. G6oglcs foil off tho stoor
one night. and when he was rescued
| 4
who was passing handed me something
he had picked up in the stroet; ho sait
it was - diamond broastpin.' 1t turn
ed out to bo GOGGLES glass cyo. Th
lovo my wife had seen was in reality
pinoh Of phosphorus,
"Googles then knew that ho hac
boen discovered as fraud. and NJ
longer dissembled. His good manuerl
at once took wing. Hc deserted the
parlor and his good mistress for Tren.
ton sausagos and tho cook. His tastes
wero low and no sought tho festivities
OF tho realms of tho basement. When
he had stuffed bimsolf out with good
choer until he could hardly waddlO he
would 60 and look at himself in the
burnishod convex boilor TO clongato his
figure. He is up to all sorts of games,
and for small dog can purloin moro
meat from tho butchers s and hide it on
his person than u melancholy Dano.
His thirst Is of tho best order, too; he
is terror on tho hoeltaps in tho do.
QRuters.
"Ono night Goog)es was decidedly
groggy. and in bcnstly frame oi
mind. Ho had been In ,hing it several
days, aud WAS off his ford.' He had
been ofcrod saddle OF mutton and
roasted Currituok widgeon for dinner,
all to no good. Hc began to 500 things,
and as passed him on my way out he
bit my log and wont whoopng off.
Whom | reachod tho club somo one
said. Charley Lanjan's got 'cm bad;
he's going around with q pearl neck
lace on his log; ho Is WORKING tho Duko
racket heard tho remark and, look
ing down. found fall sot of ialso tooth
sticking. in my trousers. They wore
Googlos', d"
my wifo camo home one day and
said that thore was to be q dog-show,
and that sho had ontorod GOGGLES. and
wanted mo to fix up pedigroo right
straight of, did 1t. copied most
OF 1t out OF Burke'S Poerago, adopting
only tho Christian namos, 1t took bet
tor than any podiSroo over heard Of,
and GOGGLES won the 2:ize. But my
wife mado onemies of sovonteon oi a%r
most intimate lady friends. all Of whom
have boon trying to buy or steal Goo
giles ever since.
Nov that GOGGLES has bocomo q
winner he has put on moro frills than
o dozen virgin quoons, He smsshes
things, ohewS things, bites things, de-
stroys things. and stoa)s things. Ho
gets sick, and tho family physician has
TO be called Ia. Ho has the oanker,
and whom he gets we'll OF it no starts in
on tho mango. He gots bettOE and has
to ride In tho park. Ho rocovers. and
no gobbleS everything ho soes. Just
run your oye over thfs papor," oontinr
ued Mr.. Lanjan, "and 500 what Goo
giles has cost during tho month"
ooooLEs' EXPENSE ACCOUNT.
8 sofa-cushloE8 at $l5 EACH. ......S 45.0J
~ dozen table napkins at 824 per dOZ $500
4 day shirts. ....,................... 20.00
night-shirts. ......,......s....... 800
l umbrella-stand, smashed. ....,....,. q
! new glass eyo. Observation-Disclosures. III
l beaFgkin hearthrug. ug......,,.....,.., 1000
4neighbofs' cats at 20 cents each.... 200
For perpetuating color (Bill the falCir) 9O.0O
5M pounds Trenton sausage at lS cts ~