Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-07

on joint committees.
A girl should marry for protection in
stead of for revenue only.
A dentist does not always find fair sail
ing. Sometimes he runs against snag
A man who sometime ago married San
angel" says it is about as complete faith
cure as anything he has heard of.
"One sees singular sights at sea-" said
person who had just crossed the Allan
tic. II saw the ocean heave, a passenger
heave, and the ship heave to-
"Why are those things on your dress
called bugle trimmings?" George wanted
to know. co." Emily replied lightly, "be-
cause pa blows over the bill"
musical expert says that there is only
one man in thousand who can whistle a
tune And yet there are people who
think there is nothing to be thankful for.
A Boston man has invented seaside
hotel with berths and hunks in place of
bedrooms, and all you need for four
weeks stay are 5000 in cash and button
hook.
"Annie, is it proper to say this ere,
that 'ere?" "Why, Kate, of course not
"Well, I don't know whether it is proper
or not, but feel cold in this ear from
| that air." t
| Little girls in India wear gold rings in
their noses. One advantage in this fash
ion consists in the fact that the ring wear
er doesn't have to take off her gloves tc
show her jewelry.
81 can't afford more than one flower or
my hat" she said to the miliner. 'sWell
where will you have it?" AS 1 sit mex
to the wall in church, you can put it OF
the side next to the congregation" wa.
the soft reply.
"Oh, yes" said the engineer. 81 had ,
a chance to become a hero by sticking tt
my post when the collision came, bu
| when I reflected that my name would bt
| spelled five hundred different ways in tn,
newspapers, 1 changed my mind ant
| jumped
A youthful aspirant to poets honors
whose maiden attempt bore the title O
"Simply to Thy Cross 1 Cling" was
struck dumb with horror when it appear
ed in the next weeks edition of the towr
| paper under the title of s'Simple Little
Cross-eyed Thing"
mamma, do angels play on harps?'
''Yes, dear; now run and take your piano
| lesson" SIN a minute; but, mamma, ]
don't believe | want to be an angel. =
| "Why not, child?" cause somebody
would be always saying: Now run and
take your harp lesson"
''Hello, Smythe, what's the matter
You look all broke up this morning.
$50 am; had horrible dreams last night
| disturbed my rest" "What did you dream
about?'' "You know, my wife was at
tending cooking school to learn how te
cook. Well, dreamed she made a lemon
pie and ate it,
A little four-year-old girl remarked te
her mamma on going to bed, "I'm mo-
afraid of the dark ssNo, of course yor
are not" replied her mamma, ssfor it cam
hurt YOU" 'sBut, mamma, I was a littl,
afraid once when / went into the pantr J
in the dark to get custard.' "Wha
were you afaaid of % asked the mamma
81 was afraid couldn't find the custard.
eyes" said Mrs. Parvenu, with pride il
her voice, "my daughter is to be married
at an early day." ITO titled German,
believer" queried the friend to whom sh,
was talking. Eyes, German baron.
"Ah! baron? What is his name ?" eth,
Baron of-Baron of-pshaw! it's funny ]
can't remember his name" ssMy dear,
she said, turning to her husband, a gruf
old chap behind u newspaper, sswhat il
our new son-in-law's title? He's baron O.
something, but | can't recall it," .Don'
know" he growled. Barren on Funds
j reckon"
|