The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-06-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Love is fellow around swapping a
peck of trouble for pint of happiness.
A polished delivery--cuffs and collars
from the laundry. darlington Free
Press
In Denmark the rooms in the hotels
are all bald d-headed-that is, they have
no locks.
What is the dollar of the daddies9'
asks some one. 1t is, briefly, what the
dudes exist on.-BostOn Post.
Skating rinks promote intemperance
because all who go there take drop too
much before they leave. e.-MerchGnt- Irao-
eler.
A Newport girl fell asleep in church
Sunday and dreamed aloud, saying "Oh,
he skates too awful nice for anything"
--Rentucky State Journal.
never met fractions goat,
Especially when the field was wide,
But that | ached for many day,
And always on the butted side.
Call
Yes, everything is faster in this coun-
try. In England they say that man
stands for parliament. In this country
he runs for Congress. ess.-ArkanSaO IraV-
eLer.
Jones-What is the price of this7
Merchant That-wel, I'll make you
present of it, seeing it's you. Jones
Observation-Disclosures that trihe
Bteep2-Biizzard.
An exchange says Chicago police
man caught the smallpox while asleep"
If Chicago policeman ever caught any
= hs ba ho
MeW York Graphic.
There is something about q good ma
tured man that takes one by he hand as
heartily as poor relation, and hangs on
like man getting home in crowded
car Chicago Ledger.
Mr.. Edward Atkinson says that silver
is not as valuable as are eggs. This may
be true, but pocket full of the former
does not cause as much anxiety as the
same quantity of the latter. Boston Post.
"This is not very fertile country"
said a tender-foot as he surveyed the
rugged hills in a far Western State.
IS'hink not, " said miner, "you should
ne revolvers fourishing in hot
spc. Boston Courier.
A dwarf who is only seventeen inches
in height, aged thirty-six, good writer
and well educated, lives at Shiga Ken,
japan. This iS not an isolated case.
There are good writers dRd educated
men living in this country who are also
very "short. n-Neto York. Dd,on.
The watchdog grows
A maid is awed-
As one more beau
Has panties chawed,
Old man up stairs
Warm blankets meath,
Says, "Glad filed
UpTowser's teethm
"Never go back, " advises writer.
"What you attempt, do with all your
strength" This may be good advice,
but it wouldn't work satisfactorily.
When young man, for instance, at
tempts to court girl, he may do it
with all his strength, but he goes back,
all the same He goes back about six
nights a week. NorristOOn Herald
''Will you look me up the origin of
the word rink, papal" Certainly, my
dear; but why do you wish me TO do
so2" II have taken a notion to learn
roller-skating, and have curiosity to
know what the word rink is derived
from. ''If you are going to learn
roller skating | would advise you to be-
come acquainted with the word equilib-
rum, for you'll want to know moro
about that than about rink when you put
on the rollers. ~ Boston Courier.
THE SMALL BOY.
No more with cold the small boys nose
At early morning tinges;
And, as the weather warmer grows,
His hair his mother shingles.
Soon TO the placid pool he'll HE,
Whose banks wild flowers bespanglc,
And as the sunny hours glide'by
For hornpouts he will angle.
Perhaps he'll of the water feel,
And wherc he thinks il warmest
Upon the bank he'll quickly peel
And plunge right in head foremost;
Ger bathing suits he makes no fuss,
Their texture on their trimming;
In purs naturallbus-
That's how he goes IN swimming.
Boston COW icr.