The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-05-09

%A"A'J IeSBiN hdsS AluNtl0u an Nutlt
lives and yet do not know how to behaye
themselves when on the road, For the
benefit and guidance Of SUCH these. few,
crisp, plain, horse sense rdles of etiquette
have been framed.
In travelling by rail, on foot, turn 10 the
right on discovering an approaching train.
If yon wish the train to turn out, give two
loud toots and get in between the rails so
that you will not muss up the right of way,
Many Q nice, new right Of way has been
ruined by getting pedestrian tourist spat-
tered all over its first mortgage,
On retiring at night on board the train,
do not leave your teeth In the ice water
tink. lfevery one should do so, il would
occasion great confusion in case of wreck.
1t would also cause much annoyance and
delay during the resurrection. Experienced
tourists tic string TO their teeth and retain
them during the night
If you have beea reared in extreme
poverty and your mother supported you
until you grew up and married SO that your
wife could support you, you will probably
sit in four seats at the same time, with your
! feet extended into the aisles so that you
can wipe them off on other people while
you snore with your mouth open, CLEAR TO
your shoulder blades.
II you are prone to drop 10 sleep and
breathe with low, death rattle, like the
exhaust of bath tub, it would be good
plan to tie up your head in feather bed
end then insert the whole thing in the
linen closet, or If yoq cannot secure that,yop
might stick it out ofthe window and get il
knocked off egainst tunnel. The stock
holders OF the road might get mad about it,
but you could do it in such way tkqt they
wouldn't know whose head il was.
Ladies' and gentleman should guard |
against travelling by rail while iq beast
ly state of inIoxioation,
In the dining car, while eating do not /
comb your moustaehe with your fork By |
sll means do not comb your mqustaehe
with the fork of another. 1t is better to
refrain altogether from combing the nous
taehe with fork while travelling, for the
motion the train might jab the toIk into
your eye and irritete it..
II your dessert is very bot and you do
not discover il until you have burned the
raiters out ofthe roof of your mouth, do not
utter wild yell of agony and spill your
coffee all oyer a total stranger, but control
yourself, hoping to know more next time
In the morning il good time to find out
how many people have succeeded in getting
on the passenger train who ought to DO in
a stock car.
Generally, you will find one male and
one female. The male goes into the wash
room, bathes bis worthless carcass from
daylight until breakfast time, walking on
the feet OF any man who tries to wash his
face during that time, He wipes himself on
nine different towels, because when he gets
home he knows he viii haye to wipe his
face on an old door mat, People who haYe
been reared on bay all their liYes, general {
ly want to feed themselves fall Of pic and
collie when they travel.
The female Of this same mammal goes
into the ladies' department aud remains
there until starvation drives her out. Then J
the real ladies have about thirteen seconds !
apiece in which 10 dress,
II you meyer rode in vanished car be- 4
fore, and never expect to again, you will
probably roam upand down the car, mean !
iering over the feet Of the porter while hs
is haking up the berths.. This il a good
way to let people see just how little sense 4
you had left after your brain began ~ 2
soften
Iu travelling, do not take along lot Of I
'ld clothes that yop know you will never s
wear.
Never walk through car staring every
body out Of eountenanee, like Jim Crow 81
ietectiye hunting for the James boys, but
mind your own business, be quiet, polite 8,
md patient, and SEE THAT Youa TICKET D
'4KEs you OYER THE GBEAT Rocg IsL4xp n
2orTE. Then YOU will feel as though you
gere among friends All THE Tirr, and you c.
viii leave the train gl'h . pans ol genuine
egFsl, 4