Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-09
BRIGHT BITS.


will go to Chicago and join the Chicago
Board of Trade 0arier- J0urnGl.
sHXoL is paved with grand jury reports.
The fact is a thing is as good AS not done when
1t Is recommended by grand Jury.-Nelo Or
leans Picdy1tne.
IT seems that Mrs. Sullivan mauled Prof.
John L. sullivan, Of Boston. Then let us tear
the g9udy chaplet from oil his brow. You
tear lt.-Chicag0 current.
PROF. sU1LIvAN's interesting statement
that he was never drunk in his life was proba-
bly, based on the liberal definition that "a
man ID not drunk so long as he can lie on the
ground without holding on."-ProUidence
Journal.
"WHAT are your views regarding the
Acknowledged knight of the washtub and
starchboard. 'Three centee collar, ten centee
shirtee five centee cuff" was the intelligent
answer.-Lyna Union.
WITH our telescopes we can see, as it were,
the future globe of Jupiter glowing under the
shaping hammer of the Almighty Word
smith. and detect the imprint Of the blows
that are slowly fashioning the graudest planet
Of our system out Of the cooling mass of an eX-
tinguished sun.-Nel0 York Sun.
MRS. McHooLY was arrested for locking
her husband out q midnight. When the magis-
trate asked her what she had to say about it
she replied: wen, your Honor, Pm a Dem
myerat and my old man voted for Blaine, and
ship. BegOrra. that's the shtOie now" The
magistrate. being a civil service reform Dem
ocrat. discharged the woman,-NorriSto1cn
Herald.
81 AM sorry your son does not improve in
grammar and spelling. His grammar is out
father of one Of his pupils. THAT will never
do in the world" was the reply. You must
teach him TO use good grammar, even if you
have to resort to harsh measures. In Illinois
a man who does not know anything about
grammar has TO 20 to the United States
Senate. ''-Ttras Strings.
SIS 1T true that the sacred concert business
is to be stopped by the pollce?" he asked at
headquarters yesterday.
Eyes sir
'Humph! Won't allow em any more, eh?"
'NO. sir"
"Pshaw! But that floors us"
'sWere you going to give a sacred concerto"
"Why. yes. We mad il all arranged for next
Sunday, and it was TO be a fight to the finish
with hard gloves and was to be referee, and
we were going TO charge % cents admission to
the barn. "-Uticd 06,erUer.
REV. Mr.. HoLLowTONE m AIDE Mrs, Jarpbly
pastoral visit, and, his mother being at that
moment occupied, young Johnnie Jarphly
sought TO entertain the good man. AS john
ME proposed to take his hat and "lay it up"
Mr.. HOllOwtone SAID, "Thank you," and then
went on to inculcate moral lesson by in
structing the little toy that he should always
be grateful and thankful to Heaven for the
SMALLEST ldNOTb. 10 you understand, my
little mani" asked Mr.. HOllowtone. "Oh,
yes. sir" replied Johnnie. 1--WE always give
thanks. We give thanks at meals and at
evening prayer, and when you were last here
ma said when you left, Thank heaven, he's
gone at last - Pitt66urg Chronicle.
PRETTY PRUDIsH.-
am n modest little maid,
Who thinks 1t more polite
To bid man "good evening"
Than bid man good night"
And If the human members
Are introduced by him,
] always call an arm an arm
A leg a clover limb"
am modest little maid
Who never goes TO bed,
But TO my chamber "retir&i
Most properly instead.
And when the chaste Aurora
Unseas my sleepy eyes,
The act which some call getting up
designate ITO rise"
never speak OF feeling sick,
But say that am iii"
And being In my dressing gown
l style en- dlshablle.
In fact, always hesitate
To call a spade spade,
Because, yOn see, ! try TO be
A modest little maid.
robert Grant, IN Life.