The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-05-09
THE rRuR WATER or LIFE.
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NA~as1&N~Nt
 Monsieur villazs, the inventor of patent i, .>e sscsae. wAs nAtiva of Paris. and edu. cated among the horse beys and tAckeys of voluptuous and dissipaeed court who aourished ia the earliest part cf the lass century. Naturally ceick ef wit. he turned hts aseentiou to the manifold dis. eases that afflicted the .protligaso eour- viers of the tune of Philip of Orleans. He oehead . generation of Kourmands. suffering untold miseRiea who only needed . season of proper dieting to gain relief, Aad that relief he deter. mined to give them and he meant that they sAoa!a eaS for is.
 By and by the people of the great me- tropolis were informed. by Aam'ng pla. cards on the walls, that" Monsieur Vlllars, Physician Extraordinary 10 about all the crowned heads on the continent-- who had saved his thousands offered to bis afflicted countrymen his wonderful medical discovery, found by him in the $ ssrcophagus of an F ,yptian philosopher aud savant, and nov first given to suffer ing humanity. He called 1t "v.llers' Water of Life "--surely . modest name for medicine which claimed to cure every disease unIer the sun which medi- cine could cure.
 Alter our quAck h Id piassered the dead walls of the city and it's suburbs with his flaming ptacards his next step was to play into the hands of all the lackeys, and gentlemen's valets whom he could get hold tf. and by paying some, and promising others, and pouring out wine freely. he got them to stand at the street corners, and at tho entrance to the eeme. sery, and at the grave, and also at the place where the funeral services were being held; and whenever there was a funeral these hired emissaries, at thei, respective points, would fceiingty cry aiosd, as the funeral eeykees appeared, "Alas, poor man fl he could have known of Monsieur Villars' wondesful 'WateY of Lie p-Ah! he would not have been theret'
 And some were to add the sim pie story of cures they had seen performed.
 or course this gave the medicine a start. People locked to see Monsieur Villars. He gave to them his medicine, and his last words to them were, as they were about to turn away, "Ahal by the way, monsieur or madAme). you will observe the directions. While you are taking my medicine you must confne yourself to the diet here specified. Wine, rich condiments. late suppers, much pastry. liquors Of all kinds, etc, etc, are to be avoided"
 In short, he put them upon a simple, healthful diet, gave them his medicine, and sent them away. And in a very short time the whole court was ringing with p, aises of 'Villars' Water of Lifc.' ltl virtues were upon every tongue, and the physician who dared to cry out against |, was denounced.
 At the age of seventy Monsieur Vi'lars had gained an enormous fortune. He counted his wealth by millions millions of cro~ns. Before he died he published the following comprehensive and signih cant confession and manifesto to his millions Of patrons
 Friends The medicine which have given you under the name ot Water of Life, Is, and has always been, tho water of the Seine, with q small quantity oi niTe therein dissolved. And yet have no, deceived you haTmiully. have caused you to renouncS your iutempcrance and gluttony, and To put away a multitude of vic~S that were unman- nlng you. fl you will continue ihuS temper ately and decently to live, you ~ill never give hard thought 10 NJ. Nn.LARS."