davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01
HUMOROUS.

-''Only a match box" remarked
Fogg at the theater the other night,
referring to the seats where the young
lovers sat. Boston Transcript
Dubuque Conservatory girls carry
noon lunch in a mpsic-roIl 1t must
symphony to see them at their hunger
ian rhapsoiies. = Chicago Tribune.
"A Santiago dispatch reports that a
physician of this city has reformed an
operation by which dumb women have
recovered their speech. We begin to
think there is something, after all, in
the stories We are constantly seeing
about the blunders of doctors. Boston
transcript.
=" have large dude trade" said
the barber. And don't your employees
find any fault about their wagesp"
asked the other barber. Certainly
not. Why should they?' because +
you have large dude trade you must
constantly be cutting down. Boston
Courier
-" How Love Is Made in Persia" is
the title of q recent article. 1t is prob.
ably made there of the same ccmpo-
nent parts as here, that is, millionaire 5
daughter one part. impecunious noble
man one part, desire for title forty-nh1e
paris, desire for wealth, forty-nine
parts. Mix. Boston Post.
"A patent has been granted for an
automatic fre-lighter You wind it up,
set it any hour you please, and when
you-or your wife, rat er-goes down
stairs. the tea-kettle is merriIy singing.
Some persons may object that it doesn't
prepare the breakfast and pay the bill
for fuel, but it is impossible to please
everybody. NorristoWa Herald.
IL am sorry, darling, that-you are
displeased with me, but then you know
[ can not help it. / am an emotional
ist.' ''Well, then, certainly can not
marry you, George" "Why not?"
"Well, you know perfectly well that my
parents would never consent to my
marry NC any one but Methodist"
and then she cried.-M Y Graphic.
IL suppose shall be an old maid
all my life, sighed a young woman of
twenty-five. "That's grievous COM
plant" responded an old bachelor.
very, again sighed the maiden. do
you want to cure it?' "Of course I do. !"
Take me for husband. .Do you
mean it?'' Certainly '.Well, DIES.
perste diseases require desperate RENE
dies, and I guess I'll try you" They
fell upon each other necks. Merchant
Ir0Ceter. ~
81 protest." exclaimed the new
jour. barber. as the gentleman from
the Emerald Isle dropped into the oper-
ating chair; II draw the line right here.
l m wiling to mix lather, but hang me
if I'll lather micks." 1t was feared that
the Hibernian would razor row then and
there, and whisker around shilIelah,
perhaps; but as the jour. barber was
strapping fellow the exile from Erin had
to hone that the joke was a good one.
Let us soap that all quarrels may end
before they have begun. Harrington
HGUkeye.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01
TEMPERANCE.
DREAM OF THE RuMsELLER.

The rumseller slept on his downy couch,
AND dreamed a son rare:
He saw by his pillow horrible spook
With snakes for the locks of his hair.
Dear friend said the spook, with amiable
"Ihaye called to present you my hand;
you u perceive, by my courtly high bearing,
Tn Beelzebub, king of the damned!
regard you, dear child. as a faithful soul.
And worthy my love and esteem;
honor your courage and your elegant
pluck.
So much ike my courtiers you seem.
/" rejoice at the widows and orphans tears.
hate all the good and the pure,
And you. dear fir end, will make many
orphans ween,
And hundreds of widows, I'm sure
81 honor your zeal, nv valuable friend.
Your worthy your brothers below;
I suppose you re aware they'r expecting
you soon.
You IL not disappoint them, know!
$50 on! approve of your selling the stuff;
1t fills up the caverns of death.
And man. priceless souls that were spotless
and pure
Are mine by its poisonous breath
The spooks snaky locks quite Kissed with
delight,
And he ratified his spiritual bones,
While he opened his cayernous mouth Of q
beast,
And Numbered in demon'ac tones
The rumseler awoke with horrors untold.
He uttered terri BILE scream,
Convinced that King Beeizebub wasn't a
joke,
He pondered his wond erful dream
He knocked in the heads of his barrels of
rum,
He emptied his bottles of gin,
He smashed his decanters of brandy and
rum,
And swore: "a new life I'll begin"
Take warning, rumsellers, cease from your
gains;
Old Nick, as you see by this dream,
Has an ardent desire for your priceless
souls;
Stop, stop selling the fiery stream.
John NelUeLl, IN IYdtchmdn
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01
HOME, FARM AND GARDEN.

Corn Sta.ch Cake: One cup of
sugar, one cup of -four, one-half cup of
sweet milk, one-half cup of butter, one
half cup OF corn starch. whites of three
eggs, two teaspoonfuls baking powder.
-1Hc Household.
-Jumb'es: Two cups sugar, one cup
butter, half cup sweet milk. two tea
spoonfuls baking powder. Flavor with
lemon; roll very thin, using no more
Hour than necessary, sprinkle with
granulated sugar Boston Budget
-Raspberries and blackberries are
harder if planted on light sandy loan,
but if large berries are desired mulch
should be used in July. On moist land
mulching is not necessary, but the canes
are more liable to be winter killed.
Troy Times.
Porcelain fruit-knives are among
the novelties. The blades are white
and sem transparent, and the handles
are in different colors. These knives
are really a revival of an old style.
They are beautiful, and possess st least
one advantage over silver, inasmuch as
they may be kept clean without so much
trouble. But it is not adv sable to drop
them upon the charlottesville
Courier.
The Prairie Farmer advises its
readers never, when buy .ng farm, to
take quit-claim deed when they can
get warranty deed. The man who
gives quit-claim deed, virtually SAYS:
II don't know whether own this farm
or not, but YOU may have all my right,
title and interest in it, and the man
who takes it reasons: "I'll take this at
venture, and run nv chances of get
ting something or nothing" The quit
claim deed lacks all the covenants"
which make the strength of the war
ranty deed.
TO stew chicken with peas, cut up
a young chicken and lay the pieces in a
saucepan. Add to it little pepper,
salt, and very small onion, small
piece of butter, a bunch of parsley and
half pint of gravy; cover the pan close
~ and set it where it will simmer slow
". When nearly done, add to the
chicken can of French pease, and let
them stew to ether until done. When
quite done, thicken the gravy with but
ter and flour rubbed together. Serve
the pease around the chicken on the
platter. THE Caterer.
Everybody has a cure for sore
throat, but simple remedies seem to be
most effectual. Salt and water is used
by many as a gargle, but little honey
and alum dissolved in sage tea is better.
An application of cloths wrung out of
hot water and applied to the neck.
changing as often as they begin to COO,
has the most potency for removing in
fammation of anything we ever tried.
1t should be kept up for number of
hours; during the evening is usually the
most convenient time for applying this
standardization Globe
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01
Rum in the South.

The horrors of rum are attracting at
tention in the Southern States. The
Natchitoches Democratic Reriew, says:
every term OF our court confirms the opin-
ion that whisky is the greatest curse of our
country. A large majority OF the crimes for
which parties are convicted, or tried by the
courts OF the county, are traceable directly to
whisky. It's use is actually a blight to the
negro race. Itnot only serves to impoverish
them but makes them unfit to York. and
forces them to steal for living. Unless
something is done TO abate this evil amC ng
the negroes, they VII, Ike the Indians be
destroyed by il"
1t is no worse for the negro than the
white man. The fact is it is death to
any people. Where rum is there can
be no steadiness of labor, and no pros
perity among the laboring classes. Rum
not only absorbs the proceeds of iabor.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01
The John Brown Medal.

The gold medal in honor OF joins
Brown, struck in 1874 in Paris, and sent
by Victor Hugo and other distinguished
Frenchmen through the hands of Mr..
Garrison to the widow of John Brown
in California, is about to be transferred
by the Brown family to the custody OF
the Kansas Historical Society. which
has made specially of relics and
memorials of the great enthusiast
whose name has been indelibly in
scribed on the annals of that State.
John Brown, Jr., lately addressed a
letter to the Secretary OF the Society.
stating that his sister Sarah had placed
the medal in care of the Bank OF San
Jose, and had expressed to him the de-
sire thai this medal and other relies OF
their father should be in some safer
eustody.-N X. EUeainq Post.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01
THE BuRRo.
A Characteristic and Ubiquitous New Mex-
lean Animal.

A Characteristic and Ubiquitous New Mex-
lean Animal.
Apart from the Indians and Mexicans,
these animals are the most character
istic and ubiquitous objects in New Me XII
co. The shaggy little brutes range from
the size of small Newfoundland to that
of six-months-old he fer. 1t is practi-
cally impossible to overload them.
They will carry all that can be piled on
their backs. have frequently seen a
solid heap of wood gliding mysteriously
into town, with no apparent motive
power, but knew that somewhere
underneath the pile there was hidden a
burro. When released from their bur-
dens they will Immediately set to work
with diligence and gusto picking up a
living in the midst of stones and dry
cactus, where any other animal would
starye to death. ice proceeded to at
tach them, by wonderful series of
knots, to the supporting POSTS under
the house. | watched him curiously
as he tied knot after knot, and at length
;ventured to inquire whether birros usu-
ally employed Their spare time in per-
forming juggling tricks.
Joe regarded me with smile which
was compounded one part OF good
natured contempt, two of superior
knowledge, and three of genuine
amusement.
IVA all he said, ..you arc summat
of tenderfoot; that's so. Why, burro
is born devil"
'.Do you mean to say that burro
can undo one of those knots with his
teeth I asked.
! Il don't purfess to say what he does
it with. He may do ii VITA his tai for
all know, but if,you viii learn me
knot that burro can't undo. if Won
give him time enough. ] will tell You
thanks. WY the father Of all evil is
not a patch on an old jack burro fur
internal cleycrness and mischief -
Btrge Harrison, tn Harper's AagassHe.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01
IN sPRINo.TIME.

Now doth the pensve painters brush
Renew the merchants sign,
And, perched above the sidewalk, cause
Regilded age 10 shine.
Now doth the busy housewife tear
Tue carpet from the tioor
And scrub with mop and whitewesh brush
The peaceful dwell NJ DER.
And now the husband seeks divorce
From home and kindred dear,
And washes down house clea ling dust
With draughts of potent bser.
Now doth the editor sneak out
When long haired poets bring
Great rolls OF manuscript to HIM
Containing songs of spring.
And now the Spectator bold
Goes long on future wheat
And tells OF growing crops destroyed
BY frosts and storms OF sieet.
And many other things take place
About this time of year,
VIII on cause ankind to hold the spring
Above all sea sons dear.
Detroit Free Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01

but it makes it so uncertain as TO cripple
the employer Tie South can no moro
get on with rum than the North. 1t is
all one. 1t is curse wherever it rules.
Toledo Blade.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-05-01


gagged to be married." he said, with a
certain hesitation, land her sweetheart
was most broken-hearted. He wasn't
of much account, but she thought a
good deal of him, and he was going to
study for the ministry, though his folks
were awful set against it, for, you see,
he wasn't so young, being -lemme see
oh, he was nigh onto ten years older
than her"
''And after she dieds" l asked.
He drew down his mouth: well, he
give up all thoughts of studying for the
ministry. You see, he never felt he had
a real call for it; but he would have
studied to please her. After she was
gone he did as his folks wanted him to,
and went to village where an uncle of
his kept store. And he kept store
made some money at it. too; and when
his uncle died he got the business
And did he ever marry?n
Yes" said the old man, slowly,
and with an odd, deprecatory smile.
Yes, he married woman no more
like Parma than Martha in the Bible was
like Mary. Not but what she was
good woman, he added, hastily, land
an uncommon smart woman, regular
go-ahead, all energy always driving.
always saving, up before daylight.
Still, don't believe Parna's swee hea t
ever forgot her, though he did marry
and have oh ldren. Those were my
daughters that brought me to the d pot:
you may have seen 'em. They are both
married now, and they are both
like their mother. They are their
mother right over again. so to
speak-all push and energy-and they
just keep their husbands going all the
time. Now, Parma, here his voice
grew soft and he locked at the pictu
again "she wasn't one of that sert.
She was gentle, and she had low
voice She had a good deal OF energy,
too, but there was womanly way about
her; don't know how to express it ex.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19

Mr.. John S. Wise'S appeal to the
people OF Virginia can be easily
formulated as a conundrum. Mr..
Wise, knowing we'll as he does the
relative strength Of white and ne.
gro in his party, virtually asks Of
the white men OF Virginia: cannot
one white man and nine negroes
govern Virginia equally as we'll and
wisely as ten white men7 And
then without hesitation answers it
himself, before the people can
Yes! This question is the logical
issue of Mr.. Wise's candidacy
Let the people of Virginia ponder
this question well.
The new issue. black Republican
party is made mp in the proportion
of less than one white man to ten
Of negroes-and the Democratic
party OF white men. Mr.. Wise's
position can be read at glance.
Think of it you white men of Ac
comac who will probably be called
on to vote between Democratic
candidates for the Legislature and
new issue black Republicans or
hireling independents" and be
ready with your answer.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19
Mr. Ellis vii: Take a Hand.

The Hon. i. John Ellis. of Louis
lana, has accepted an invitation
from the Virginia Democratic State
executive committee to participate
in the political campaign now in
progress there: at will give me
great pleasure to do this" says Mr..
Ellis in his letter of acceptance,
sand / shall take John Sherman for
my text. 7 see that he cnnfesses
to a frierd that he is making his
bloody shirt campaign principally
for the effect in Virginia. 1 know
something about Sherman as a
champion of flee suffrage and a
protector of election returns. re.
call, with a good many interesting
details, the part he played in Louis
lana, during the winter of 1867,
as the associate of Eliza Pinkston
and J. Madison Wells, and 1 think
I can give the Virginians a little
clearer idea of their assailant than
they now have. l shall at least try
to do so.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19
Democrats Joining the Cavalry.

The Democrats Of Rockbridge
county, Va. have become greatly
enthuSed over the rresencein their
midst of Gen. Fitz Lee, and are or
ganizing mounted companies IN
many sections of the county. When
Gen. Lee arrived at Natural Bridge
Wed. afternoon,o last week by the
Richmond and Allegany Railroad,
for the purpose of making a speech
he was met by a company of one
hundred mounted men from Lex.
ineton. and another company of
Seventy.fve from the Fancy Hill
neighEorhood. The Lexington
crowd had an extra superb black
charger with them for Gen. Lees
nse, and it was OH the programme
that be should head the command
on it's return to Lexington yeSter-
day. At BrownShurg and Fair.
field he had guard Of 300 mounted
men. The Lexington Gazette says
to the Democrats: IF Won want to
have a good time join the cavalry
The bugIe call is becoming famil.
lar sound in Rockbridgc.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19
BELLIGERENT MALONE.
He Threatens to Whip two Hen, but re.
tires Without Doing It.

A correspondent Of the New
York World telegraphs the follow.
ing account of a street scene in
Petersburg last Saturday afternoon
In which United States Senator
William Malone was the principal
figure:
Senator Malone distinguished
himself as a belligerent two years
ago, when, as boss in the Fourth
ward in this city, he endeavored to
influence negro voters who showed
an inclination to vote the Demo
cratic ticket. At that time the Sena-
tor was within an inch of being
killed by persons whom he drew
into the row. Ever since the Sena-
tor has been unusually quiet, but
this afternoon he ventured out up.
on the war path again after due
generalization, it is supposed, as
his performance throughout bore
the traces of design.
The Senator has a son (Butler),
the one who was recently IN a scrape
in Washington. Butler is consld-
cred a good fellow and has man,
friends among the young Demo
Gratis of the city. Butler is wild at
times, and the Senator recently
concluded that his dissipation was
the result of the influence exerted
by his son's Democratic friends, so
this afternoon tile Senator bearing
that Butler was the worse for liquor
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19
.NoTECETo SHIPPERS

On and after .Augut 18th, the
weekly packets of the undersigned
will sail regularly from Occohon-
mock Neck for Norfolk as follows:
Schooner T. j. Jackson, on We'd
nesday, schooner Palestine. on Sat
urday. Freight will lie received on.
them early every Tuesday and Fri
day at Rue's wharf. and early every
Wednesday and Saturday at the
lower wharvcs, leaving Stnrgis'
wharf for Norfolk at II O'Clock,
sharp.
Barrels will be furnished in ex-
change at cost.
The safe delivery of every barrel
of produce is guaranteed by me,
the dangers of the sell excepted.
Sort vour potatoes well, fill your
barrels full, and don't let the hot
SIN burn them at the time of digging
them, ship them by my vessels ac-
cording to my instructions, and l
will guarantee satisfaction or as
good returns as shipped by any
other route.
l will always be ready to buy at
the wharf for cash or goods, and
will pay the highest prices for good
stock. Patr0nize your home friends.
Respectfully, etc.,
W. J. RUE.
Belle Haven, Va.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19
He7pcli' 5 Potato Dlgqer.
The Great Labor Saving Machine

The Great Labor Saving Machine.
Twill pay its cost in a patch
Of from 5 to 10 acres.
2.-It cuts very few potatoes.
Sit leaves the potato slightly
covered so that the sun will not
hurt them.
At leaves the ground level and
the vines on top which can be dried
for hay if saved before frost which
will pay the cost of the machine.
5.-You can dig all in a few
hours you will want dnring day, so
that your team can be used for
other purpose. ut will dig from
3 to ) acres day.
TESTIMONIALS.
The undersigned have seen the
potato digger work and take pleas
ure in testiiying to it's merits. 1t
does its work very quickly and sat
isfactorily and in our opinion po-
tato growers cannot afford to do
without it. To buy it is to be con
WINGED of its merits. Respectfully,
j. L. Mapp, +. T. Stockley, j. O..
Downing, A. w. Mears. L. j. Hys
lop, a. J. AIears, B. B. Mears, JAS.
R. Bull, J. w. Core, Chas. X. Tay
lOr.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19

To Annie Kellam, Smith G. Wal
III ter, Sadie. l. Walter, Georgia
S. Walter, Eddie A. Walter, Jack
le Walter, War,lie H@slnp, Jamie
Ayres, George Starkie, Bobie Hy
slop, Betsy Tawes, Sarah Tawes,
Leonard Tawes, John Tawes and
John w. Hyslop, administrator OF
Smith Hyslop, deceased.
TAKE NOTICE.
I shall move the Judge of the
County Court of Accomack county
on the first day Of the next Septem-
Der term of the County Court Of
said county, to substitute John j..
GuAter as Trustee in a certain deed
of trust from Smith Hyslop to Ben
iamin 7. Gunter Trustee for the
benefit OF Jno. W. Hyslop, bearing
date the 4th, day OF November A.
ID. 1860, aud of record in the clerks
office of the County Court Of said
county, the said Benjamin T. Gun
ter, Trustee having declined to ac-
cept the trust.
Jno. w. Hyslop, by
Gunter s. Blackstone, his Attys.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19

The Campaign, full of fire, fight
and vim, has again entered the
field with the gallant Page McCarty
as editor. It's cartoons are express
siye and themselves preach sermons
on Mahonite depravity-which
are ably seconded by his skil'ful
scissors, and trenchant pen. We
urge our Democratic friends, to
subscribe for it. Only % cents for
the campaign and really priceless.
Send orders to The Campaign,
Richmond. Va.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19

Malone boasts he is ssthe friend
OF the workingman"-and as usual
he proves it by opposite actions.-
He put on his ticket three lawyers
only three on aticketrequiring oDly
three. While the Democratic Con.
vention nominated two farmers,
and one farmers boy who like his
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19
Total Value of Virginia Real Estate.

From the returns made to the
first auditor it is learned that the
total value of the real estate of
Virginia, according to the reassesS-
ment OF 1885, is s263.S64, 3SS,S0. By
the reassessment of 1880 it was
1921, 761, 364,16. The total returns
made by the State assessors last
year were s237.36O,65S,57. The in
crease in taxable values since the
general reassesSmentin1 1880 is S36.
1O3, 124,OO. The increase over ordin,
airy assessment of 1880 is s31, 4O3,-
73O,
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-09-19
A Card

Iwillmatchmy mare Willie Peyton
against Mr.. R. E. Floyd's Queen Dido
to trot the mile heats to harness accord
ing torules, best threeinlve, fora purse
of $3.50 to come off ON McConnell's tract
Thursday, October 18th, 1885. The usual
forfeit has been deposited with Mr.. /.
III. Amesat Pungoteague. If the day and
amount is. not suitable it can easily be
arranged. Very respectfully
a. P. JAMES, JR.