davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
The Temperance Alphabet

A is for adder, that lies in the cup,
The drunkafd don't see IL, so drinks II up.
b IS for bottle, marked poison thereon
Touch not, taste not, nor handle, or you II
be undOne.
c is for conscience, which bids us beware
OF learning TO drink, TO lie or swear.
d is for drunkard Just look at his nose
How red are his eyes, and how dirty his
clothes.
Z is for evening, when he goes out to drink
What he knows does him harm, II he
only would think.
7 is for fountain, 80 merry and clear;
who only drink water have nothing to
fear
G is for gin, that makes people lazy;
Then cross to their wives, and hnally
crazy.
II is for heaven, which no drunkard can
know,
While drink holds him in bondage to sin
and 10 woe.
| is for inn, like a rat trap, no doubt
When once you get in, it is hard to get
out.
J is for Jail, where the drunkard is kept
Till the fumes Of his liquor away he has
slept. -
/ X is for knowledge, OF which llttle remains
When he puts in his mouth what runs
OF with his brains.
! l. is for liquor, whatever the name,
The taste, or the color, they are all the
same.
N is for monkey, who is wiser than man
II you once get him drunk you can't dc
it again.
y is for Noah, who planted the vine;
! And how sad is the warning-gOt drunk
/ on the wine.
1 0 is the orphan, of whom thousands are
made
Every month in the year by the run
sellers trade.
P is for pledge, all good children should
take;
If you can't sign your name your mari
yol should make.
@ is for quarrel; look sharp and you'll tint
In nearly all quarrels there's liquor be
hind. .i
Il is for ram, aud for rum seller, too,
With one or the other have nothing TO do
s is for snow, where the poor drunkard lies
Overcome by liqnor and freezes and dies
I is the tippler, who grows worse AM
worse,
Till he finds to his sorrow not coin II
his purse.
U is for union in union there is strength
With the young and the old wc shal
conquer at length.
Y is for victim, who staggered around
Till be fell in the river, where Of cours
he was drowned.
" is for woe, which everyone feels
Who partakes Of strong liquor an
through the streets reels.
x is for Xerxes, a great army had he;
But aleobois army is larger, you sec.
Y is for youth; during, oh, beware,
Lest the love of strong drink should the
also ensnAre.
z Is jealous. which hope we will be
From strong drinks dominion our cour
try 10 free.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
WANTED-A WIFE.

Jack Hornby, of Brazenface Col
lege, Oxford, had just finished his
usual after-breakfast pipe, on the
last day of the summer term, 1880,
when his attention was arrested by
a sharp rap at the door, immediate
ly followed by the entrance Of the
well-dressed person Of his college
friend, Methyen.
Come along in said HOrnby'
'and light Yourself a pipe
NO, thank ye, can't stop replied
Methyen, 'as l have lot to do this
morning. But | thought | would
lust run across and tell you a bit ol
news. l have just arranged glo
rious hoax, at the expense, l need
hardly say, of old Crofton. He has
become too cute lately to be caught
by our old me-honored jokes, anc
so I have arranged the following
plan: A week ago | inserted in th'
agony column of tho Morning Ad
Uertiser a glowing matrimony al
vertisement, in which | stated tha
the advertiser, who was handsome
rich, and all that sort Of thing, de
sired to meet with a pretty and ac
complished girl with a view OF mai
rimony. All applicants were t
send their photographs, the reptile
to be sent to II. O., No. 15l 81
Giles, Oxford-that's the hOus
where my scont lives, and so,
course, l told him to bring me an
letters thus addressed. | got n
reply for a day or so, bat four day
! ago received letter from a ce
tain damsel, who described herse
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
An Editors Peregrlnaiions

Last week the editor, after labor
ing hard in the vineyard, concluded
that he Nould 90 out among the
brethren. While down in the Dry
Fork neighborhood we preached at
Ebenezer, and accompanied Brother
Sam Hay foot home to dinner. There
were several brethren present, and
among ticm We were pleased to
notice old Brother Shopwell. lie
is an old servant Of the Lord, and,
had the smallpox kept out Of his
way, we think that his countenance
would have escaped a great wrong.
Old Sister IIayfoot kind reader,
knows how to get mp q good dinner.
She has our idea of cooking cab
bage, for, like us, she thinks that
they should be boiled until all of
their brittloness mclts into the ever
lasting pot. After having served
the inner man we again assembled
in the sitting room, where Sister
Stoyeall favored us with hymn
and IS cents, for which she wanted
six months subscription. One dol
lar would have struck MS with a
little more warmth, but in these
days of sin and hard times a hall
I loaf is much better than a Boston
cracker. Brother Smithlield, a
good old soulas ever lived, declares
that he will take the paper when he
sells his red steer. Gentle reader
do youtnow OF any one who wants
to buy steer !-Arkansas Chris
tian Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
independence Fay.

There is a wide spread belief
among Americans that the Declara-
ton of independence was signed
on the Fourth Of July The writ
ings of John Adams and Thomas
jefferson. as we'll as the printed
journal Of the Continental Con.
gress. bear out this idea, but a
recent investigation 10y the chief
librarian Of the Boston public
library shows that we have all
along been laboriug under a mis-
take. The declaration was read
and agreed to on the lth OF July,
but it was not signed. 1t was
ordered to be authenticated and
printed during the afternoon, and
on the following day copies were
sent all over the country. On the
10Th it was resolved that the decla-
ration be cngrossed on parchment
aud signed by every member. On
the Cd Of August nearly all the
members signed it. Thornton, OF
New Hampshire, did not sign I'M
I'll November / Of that year, and
Mexican did not sign until ISL.
Of course no oneproposcs to change
orr day OF celebration. It is a
fact that oar independence was an.
nonuced to the world on the lth OF
July, and that is enough. The
signing Of the document was Of less
Importance.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
Pruning.

The season approaches for owners
Of fruit trees, grape vines and
shrubbery to have them properly
pruned, since much depends on this
work to obtain success.
The question arises, how is il to
be done as even few gardeners
have an idea how to distribute the
flow of sap so as to give the tree a
symmetrical form, or understand
the formation of the fruit buds.
Under no consideration should
pruning shears be used on pears,
apples, cherries or plum trees. The
buds Of these trees are close to-
gether, the best of shears will
bruiSe the bark, the bud will dry
up, and the second will take a
start, consequently you will have
a dried up snag from one to two
inches long. These trees are best
pruned with good sharp knife,
or a fine cutting saw may be used
on the larger limbs, in order to
make q eileen cut, which will heal
up nicely. Also observe closely
that you cut to an eye which will
start anew growth away from the
centre of the tree. Most trees
have tendency to grow too thick
in the centre, and to prevent this,
prune the way designed. Where
large limbs are close together,
take small stick, sharpen it so
that it tapers on both ends, brace
it between those limbs; after
awhile they will stay so separated.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

ALL THE NEws.--A Portland
Mel gentleman who has a mania
for reading newspapers "A good
kind of a mania to have, by the
way-was astonished on Monday
last to receive an enormous number
Of newspapers by mail and express
AS well as by messenger. They
came from every direction and from
nearly every State in the Union.
There were papers IN all languages
and all sorts Of views, religious
political, social, and scientific. The
affair was designed by the gentle
mans wife, and was intended as a
Joke which might possibly aid In
the reformation OF her newspaper
on.the-brain husband. 1t Is feared
that the scheme was a miserable
failure, as the gentleman estlmatc'
that be has on hand about 400
pounds of paper, containing wis.
dom enough to fit out dozen Sol
onions, and worth, even at Old JUNK
rates, "A snug little sum OF money.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

WHAT DO THE DRUGGISTS SAYf
They know what the people call
for and they hear what heir patrons
say as to whether the medicines
they buy work well or not. Martell
Il Johnson, Rush City, Minn., say,
browns Iron Bitters gives entire
satisfaction to our customers
Klinkhammsa & Co., Jordan, Minn.,
say, I'VE sell more Browns Iron
Bitters than all other bitters com
bined.' l.. l.. Hackley & Son, Win
oua, Mimi, say, 'All our customers
speak highly of Browns Iron Bit
ters.' A. q. Whitman, Jackson,
Minn., says, Browns Iron Bit,
ters is giving good satisfaction to
purchasers These are only few.
We have hundreds more just as
good.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

FIXED HABITS. While shaking
hands with an old man the other
day, we noticed that some OF his
fingers were quite bentinward, and
he had not the power Of straight
ening them. Abiding to this fact,
he said: In these crooked fingers
there is a good text for q talk to
children. For fifty years | used to
drive astage, and these bent fingers
show the effects of holding the
reins for so many years
This is the text. Is it not u sug
gestive one! Does it not teach u'
how o(trepeated acts become 9
habit and, once acquired, remain
generally through life : The ole
mans crooked fingers are but al
emblem of the crooked tenpers
words and actions of men and wo
men.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

A yonng lady 1T Athens, Ga,
some time since retired 10 bed with
out blowing ont the lamp, when her
eye caught sight OF 4 mans profile
on tho wall, hidcOUs and menaclng.
Greatly alarmed, she spraug from
her bed and rushed into the sitting
room telling the family that a man
was concealed in her room. The
males of the family, armed with
clubs proceeded to the room. The
image was still there. \ search
under the bed and throughout the
house, however, revealed nothing.
/ The mystery was unsolved, though
! it was noticed that the terrible ap.
partition was seen only When the
lamp was0n the table. No one IN
| the house slept much that night.
/ At intervals ior months the face
would appear on the wall, nobody
would occupy the room and 1t was
given up as haunted. 4 few nights
ago a lady expressed desire to
sleep in the room and unravel the
mystery if she could. She retired
TO bed leaving the light ablaze and
the human head clearly defined up
on the wall. She decided that the
reflection was cast by some object
in the room, and scrutiniSed every
thing that came to view. She was
about giving up in despair when
her vision rested on the fireplace,
where a cheerful wood blaze was
burning. The fuel was upheld by
a pair of old.fashioned andlrons,
their tops ornawented with the fig
ure of q mau's head, the exact coun
terpart of the shadow on the wall
The mystery was solved. Doubt
less many a thrilling ghost story
rests on a less substantial found
alton.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

During recent frosty night
which suddenly succeeded a rainy
sloppy day at Belfast, Maine,
Young man met with "a singular
catastrophe. lie went home with
his young lady and stool outside
talking with her. The honeyed
words so charmed him thst tho
minutes glitled by unheeded. When
he at last said goodnight and pro.
pared to leave his fair companion,
he found himself unable to move.
lie was actually frozen down ana
could not lft his feet. The gri
went into the kitchen and returned
with a kettle Of hot water, with
which she proceeded so thaw out
her Imprisoned love.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
sHsNhNDoAH HERALD
ApYERTIsING RATKs.
An Example of Protection.

Extracts from the address OF
Hon. Thomas II. Dudley, delivered
at Astoria, New York, Oct. %,
1884.
I'm order to see the effect OF
Protection let us take an example.
We will take the silk industry in
New Jersey. We made last year,
in New Jersey, over 22,OOO,OOO
worth of silk goods on a capital in
vested of nearly $0,0OO,OOO, and
employed in that industry over
eighteen thousand work.people, to
whom we paid over s5,5OO,OOO in
wages. The eighteen Thousand
people employed directly received
the five and a half millions Of dol
lars in wages.
almost of these operatives had
others who were dependent upon
them, and who lived of OF the
wages earned. But this is not all.
These wages did not all remain IN
the hands OF the operatives, but
part was paid to thestorekeeker, the
butcher, the baker, the tailor or
dressmaker, the bootmaker, ana
other mechanics, and a part, 1t may
be, to teachers, clergymen, doctors,
as well as to the taxgatherer. All
these people and hundreds of others
directly or indirectly, live on the
wages thuspaid Now, if you were
to put all these people together In
a town you would make not less
than ninety thousand people, all
of whom would live directly on
this industry.
Now, il the Morrison bill had
passed last winter, taking olftwenty
per cent, as it proposed to do, OF
the duties imposed on silk goods,
every one of those silk manufac'
tories would have had to stop, and
the eighteen thousand people EN-.
ployed, and those dependent upon
them, and those liyingindirectly of
them, would have been thrown out OF
employment and their living in this
way injured, to say nothing OF the
capital that would have been lost
or sunk.
Who would that have benehtedl
Would it have benefited the labor.
ing people thrown out of employ
ment, or those directly or indirect.
| " dependent upon them7 They sll
would have been injured.
Would it have benefited the farm
er? No. The farmer feeds all these
people, and to this extent is benefit
ed. fyou break them down you
destroy his market aud he is injured
1t is the money that is earned IN
the mills that pays the farmer for
his products, either directly or In.
directly, and if the money ceases
they can not buy, and the farmer
loses his market. Who would have
been benefited! England, France,
and Belgium-tlese countries that
manufacture silk goods they would
have been benefited, ,notour country,
or the people of the United States;
but the people in these countries in
Europe, they wouldhavc been bene.
litcd by il.
} And what | say with regard to
the silk industry L only INTRODUCES
it as an example VIII apply to
every other industry in our country;
to the manufacture Of metals as
t well as textile goods. All to q
greater or less extent would suler.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
DR. b. F. MAPHIS 4 BRO.
- DentiStS.-

ovvxo-.; woodstocA and ssumsv'He' 'ifs
Ia v.osa6sk, iH snd I'd weeks Of each month";
\. 1snnrvif1s "a and tth weeks. 49,. ..,,oa.,.
As-. n, rs.d Of nr,t class Dentistry Nmoaet'
~. p-toss xin do vel 70 cali .-oo,osf7 90.
rsIi .s- of Artificial teeth from siV" s'''O''
ns.ss ssd ssseo. .o,.o sio 90. Silver
s,iiss. from 7sc. 20 500. III, al. ooia and
-s,sei.i tsssh put up on solid goia,
..n.snsa nason cslleoid aud Rubber
sos Isa Porcelain riyo,ini easp, NJ tbs ma
sssss ,na correcting the irregulafities-
All rorf v.uantsd hrst class. ,.,. .s, ~
T.s,s xtr.etsd absolutely without pam -
- sss Of Hitroos Oridsoas
Mrch is.--tf.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

A Dallas servant girl walked in
to her mistresses' parlor, aud said
to the latter: L wish you would
give me n certificate, | wish to
leave 'Givc you a ccitiiicate
why, you lazy, worthless creature,
what sort Of a certificate do You ex'
pect from me You don't expect
me to say that | am satisfied with
you, do your 'Oh, no, | would
not have you saythat for the world
That might get me in trouble. All
| want you to certify is that held
ont in your house for three whole
weeks. Everybody IN town knows
what sort of u woman yon are, and
that will be the best certificate
could possibly have
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
4 Vassnr Girls sad Fate.

SIZE HOPES FRON HER HOME AND Is
FOUND LEADING A LIFE OF SHANE.
4 beautiful girl of eighteen years,
graduated from Yassar College last
summer and returned to her home
in Marquette, Mich, where her ia
thcr lived in fine style with his
family. The father is the owner of
several copper mines in Michigan
and is very wealthy. Soon after
the young lady returned home "a
Pittsburg drummer, whom sho had
met in POughkeepsie, turned up in
Marquette, and after a brief court
ship, much against her fathers
wishes, the young couple eloped in
October last. The parents we're
stricken down with grief, and search
was everywhere mado for them. In
December the father heard that his
daughter was in San Francisco, and
thithcr he went at once. After
some search he found her, but his
erief almost killed him when he
discovered that she was an inmate
of a house of illrcputc. His first
impulse was to leave her to her
shame, bnt the thought of the bro
kcn.hcartcd mother at home anX-
iously awaiting her child's returD'
induced him 20 take back his now
penitcnt daughter, and couple OF
days ago they started for Michigan
II was the old, old story. The
drummer had promised to marry
her, but, firing Of her after reach
/ ing San Francisco, he deserted her
/ The last heard Of the drummer he
was i'm Denver, Col.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

"pm a regular blamed fool said
A husband to his wife when he had
done some foolish thing or other, as
is usual in all well-resulated fami'
lies. sit isn't necessary to put Up
a sign my dear" she responded SO
fervently that there didn't seem TO
be any necessity for continuing the
conversation.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

A mother can call, "Johnnie, lt
is time to gctup,' for three hours
without making any impression; 4;
but when the old man steps 10 tne
foot of the stairs and shouts
q John! - Johnnie takes bis break
fast with the rest of the familyF
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
Something Tor the Baby.

What terrible ahlietion about the house
i,across, crying baby 2 Ayoung man on ine
edge Of matrimony might easily be irlght-
ened from his purpose by having TOO much
of that sort of music at the home OF his
married friends. Yet babies cry common
ly only when they are sick. One teaspoon
ful of Parker's Tonic, given the little one,
will bring rest and sleep to the baby and
all in tho house. Only 80 cents, at drug
OIsts
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

4 LEVEL IIBAD.-A California
paper tells this story: Said an In
dian to whito man: 'You go to
party at IndspendenceT NO. said
the white man; Il am broAc and
can't co. 'What for you talk so 2
said the Indian you work all time
earn money; what for you no keep
him? Some time | broke too, buy
whisky, drink him up, money all
gone. Now no drink long time
work, plenty money, no brokcj yor
do all same, no broke too
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

y. W. Bcnnum, ESD Rodney,
Del, says in the years 1883 and
1884 he used from 200 to 300 lbs
of compost made with Powcll's
Prepared Chemicals per acre, on
land planted with corn and seeded
wheat, and it gave entire satisfac.
tion. He has used more guano
than any one person in bis neigh
borhood, and will use PowelPs al
together i'm the future. Addres:
Brown Chemical Co., Baltimore, Md
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
NcU Proverbs.

\ white lie often told makes a
black story.
IT'S a poor musician who can't
blow his own trumpet.
He who would eat the egg must
first break the shell.
Every back has its pack.
The man who wishes to continue
believing in his friends should new
er put them to the proof
Look after your wife ;neyer mind
yourself, she'll look after you.
The want OF money is the root OF
much evil.
Egotism is an alphabet with one
letter.
If you'd know mans character,
follow him home.
Men love women, women love
man.
The surest road to honor is to de-
serve it.
Only whisper scandal and its
echo is heard by all.
IT'S not the clock with the loud
est tick that goes the best.
Home is the rainbow Of life.
Don't complain Of the baker un'
iii YOU have tasted his bread.
They who live in a worry invite
death to hurry.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
VOL. 65.
Oddities OF Oscillation
n1n roLK,s oscuLArIoN.

OLD FOLKS OSCILLATION.
When FIRST l wooed and won my glrl'
Her soul was pure, her heart was meek
gently lifted one bright curl
And placed loves kiss upon her cheek
We kneeled before the holy shrine,
The pastors blessing to US given;
I Kissed her lips, for she was mine
Our vows we're registered in heaven.
Now we are near the end Of life,
The gray hairs fall around our brow;
kiss nv GOOD old faithful wife
They are truest kisses now.
-AtldntG Constitution.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
STEAL IT SWIFTLY,

Around her waist you place your arm,
Hug her gently to your breast
If she objects, it is no harm;
Kiss her quickly--thats the best.
If abe gets mad, as some girls do,
Aud tells you quickly, Take that back
Ten to one she likes IL too,
So give her just another smack.
--GalrestOn Ners.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

Respectfully informs the p9DLh,c tL,, aro 1na'
has resumed the practice oi ms pro
...Isn ord ersleft Al the store OIL L. -
p,,v,l. In Woodstock. wlllreceive pro-
apt attention
gsn.lsth q.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

LIPS, EYES AND HEART.
Kiss with the lips,
And as you taste their neetar,, A
Swear evermore TO cherish and protect her
From all hardships.
Kiss with the eyes,
Aud let your tender 8 lanees FL.
In her soft eyes see winsome maiden laheies
Unchecked arise.
Kiss with the heart.
And from that fair. slight maiden,
Whose tender heart with love for you Is
laden,
Pray ne'er to part.
" Y. Commercial Adr1ti'r.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27
SMACK sOUNDLY.

SMACh SOONbLis
Put up your lips to his,
Aud smack with all your might,
If this is not the proper wsy,
Inever did it right.
-CiaoiRndi Ners journal
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

When man is in love he fancies
every wrinkle dimple.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

Ifyou coyetappetite, flesh, color,
strength, and vigor, take Ayers
Sarsaparilla. Sold by all druggists.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

on THE SIT.
In presence Of father, and mother, and
sister,
Under the tnistletoe bOugh kissed her,
just for fun.
When forfeits redeeming, my sentence rang
clearly;
q Kiss one in the room you cherish most
dearly
Twas earnestly done.
When donning my hat but few minutes
later,
After saving adieu to her mater and pateri
My glove from the hatstand, had fallen
behind il; -,
She stopped, and stopped, as we both
sought to find it,
We never knew why
Our hands clasped, our eyes met-the glove
is still missing;
But we found the best method. Just try
tits kissing
Your girl on the sly.
boston Herald.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-03-27

snb.cription, ONE DOLLAR AND HALF
.sr wear payable in advance
Subscriptions not paid at t%s time Sd Sar STs rs-
,oribing may run three months Ior re re,
sponsible parties. But after Una. u eliHs ;'s
"a 90 will be charged without variance IN
iIl Communications of strictly private
n.tnre will bc inserted only as advertise
ments.
THE HERALD JOB OFFICE,
IA complete in every respect EalsoIiSi .. ia
room. business Office and steam presses DC
tueen Railroad and Main streets