The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-02-06
A Husbands Trick.


you see Martha got in the habit of sitting
up for me at an early age, and she can't break
it off. couldn't persuade her to go to bed
and mind her own business, so studied on
the matter. We live in one of the centre
houses ola block of five-story- and-attic build.
ings. There's scuttles in the roofs of all of
item, and l persuaded Mr.. Greenup, who
lives in the adjoining house, to let me in his
house about o'clock last night, and went
up through his scuttle and over to mine, and
so down into our bedroom. | could see
Martha from the head of the stairs, sitting in
the front room cycling the clock with look
that was very tart chrome. But undress-
ed and quietly got in bed, and there lay
waiting developments. Every now and then
I'd hear Martha give short, fidgetty cough.
Then I'd hear her get up and prance around
the room little, and by and by go to the
window and slam the shutters.
After I'd lain there bout an hour heard her
get up and go stand out on the front steps
for good five minutes. Then she came in
and slammed the door and locked it and COM
menced coming up stairs. Every other step
she'd say oh, the wretch won't give it
him know where he is / know where he
is He needn't think to deceive mep Bout
the time she had nearly got to the landing l
think she must have seen the light stream
ing out of the door I'd left Open | could
hear her stop, and then l commenced to
snore. was afraid to look, you know, but
could hear her cautiously come up to the
door and look in. Well, sir, I'd have given
my pension from the war of 1776 to have
seen her about the time she saw it was me.
I'll bet it was fun. But l was afraid to do
anything but snore. Then she came into the
room, knew by the way she breathed and
stood around. | had to nearly bite my
tongue off to keep straight face on me- /
could feel that she sat down in chair and
was dumbfounded. never let on but kept
on snoring like thunder but when she kick
ed over chair / turned and pretended to
wake up, kind of dazed like, and says
why, Martha dear, amt you come to bed
YETI
"'Jarphly,' said she awful slow and solemn
like, when did you come imp
"Why, must be four or FIVE hours ago.
Don't you remember when told you not to
go TO sleep again in the rocker, but to come
to bedY and l turned over and protested to
go to sleep again.
"She never made any reply, but acted in q
dazed, bewildered sort of way, and when she
got to bed could tell she didn't sleep wink
for three hours.
"This morning it was fun to watch Martha,
l could hardly keep a straight face. AT the
breakfast table, and all the time was about
the house, she'd eye me when she thought l
wasn't looking; then, when I'd notice her,
she'd turn away and be awfully busy at some
thing. She caught me kind ofgrinning once,
and, by George, thought the explosion was
about to come. But it didn't, though the
look of blank, unfathomable suspicion she
wore on her face all the time was the great
est show on earth. 1t nearly broke me up,
and I've laughed till my ribs ache ever since.
l know it won't last. | know there's day
of repenting coming, and the thermometer
is going up clear out of sight in the Jarphly
family But who's going after trouble?
It'll come soon enough without hunting it,
and Pm going to enjoy that scuttle in the
roof until the explosion comes"