Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-17

| oPPcaseu. -
"Well." said the King to his wife.
.'since you have given them your word,
grant them their lives and am content
with banishing them. l must confess
that to you alone belongs the art OF
making pastry"
The Queen was SO inspired upon
hearing this eulogy that from that day
may be dated the delicious of tho vol
| au-vent.
'.Just think" said King Perico to
himself, from what deuce of q ca
tastrophe my wife's taste for cooking
has saved me. But for that she would
have wrapped the Goldfish up in the pc
tition, and l should never have known
what these sharpers were about. Ii
must be granted that Providence does
not act blindly. Our august spouse
must be permitted to exercise the talent
God has given her. But how, by the
mass. am l to free myself from the
crowd of rogues around me. The bad
corrupt the good, and the corruption
seems to be spreading at such rate
that In n few years / do not see how
there can be an honest public servant.
] am to blame for being such coward.
But mercy! my nose is swollen to-day
in good earnestv'
The Kings disgust mt the corruption
OF his officers went on increasing, aud
in the same ratio increased the Queens
affection for the culinary art.
Now and then the King wished this
love of cooking at the deuce, but as a
rule he did not object, and sometimes
even praised it, remembering the pie
and thinking that Heaven probably
knew what it was about in giving such
talent to the Queen.
News reached the court one day that
the King OF Jauja, an ally and relative
of Perico, was about to pay him visit.
The JOY of Queen Mari astana was
unbounded at the opportunity TO dis
play her culinary talents TO advantage.
"Whatever they may say, il is we
who are to entertain the King of Jauja,
where they eat and drink and never
work." exclaimed the Queen, jumping
for joy, like child. ''Such q Judge
as he must be Is just what | need to be
appreciated, for my merit is not under
stood by common palates like my au-
gust spouse's. | must find out what
are his Majesty's favorite dishes, even
II it costs me time and money"
And the Queen, in fact, sent her own
confidential attendant, Gachano, to
Jau. u on this important mission; but
day after day went by, no Gachano re-
turned although summoned. Another
attendant was sent, aud, ut last, a third,
but all remained i'm the same eXtraor-
binary manner
Then there was nothing for it but to
toll the King and see if he could explain
the affair.
"What does il mean?" said the King.
1T means that in Jauja they eat and
drink and never work. "
But these scamps ought TO remem-
Der that am their Queen"
'All they remembered was that the
stomach is queen of all
II hope it will be their ruin"
"Now, my dear, don't be excited
will give private instruction to my plen-
ipotentiary in Jauja so that he will send
me full information as to the dishes
which my august ally prefers"
King Pcrico was as good rs his word,
and few days later received dispatch
announcing that the favorite dish of
his Jaujan Majesty was compete of
apples.
Now apples were very rare in King
Pcrico's dominions. But basketful
was finally obtained. and the Queen
locked them up carefully down cellar,
out of the way of their greatest enemies,
the children.
The King of Jauja at last arrived, and
was received with due ringing of bells,
Examinations, bull-iights and kissing of
hands.
And apropos of hand kissing, it may
here be remarked that the courtiers
showed each other aside to kiss tho
Queens hand, and then would lick their
lips, SO often had she hand in some
dainty dish or other.
The eve of the great banquet to be
given to his Jaujian Majesty, the King
was in his study bordering over two
things first, how 10 form good Cab
met, and second, how to conclude with
the King OF Jauja treaty for the ex-
tradition of criminals, in which it was
to be stipulated, to avoid trouble at
home. that the criminals arrested
should be hung and all.
While he was deep in these weighty
considerations, who should appear but
the Queen, crying like calf and tear
ing her hair out by handfuls.
'Oh! Perico of my soul, we are lost"
well. what is the matter nowP"
go! Such misfortune"
1.-Two hundred thousand demons,
Tell me before 60 mad!''
my apples! found them all rottenr'
pretty thing to come to me about!
Throw them to the pigs"
Chow wicked to say such thing"
"Woman, do not enrage me or my
nose will swell"
And so saying, the King opened the
door for the Queen, who went out cry
ing inconsolably, for her hope of glory
had depended upon the compete of APP
pies.
King Perico was so much occupied
with grave affairs of state that he never
once thought of his wife's disappont-
mcnt, and the next day at dinner time
was surprised to see her appear perfect
ly serene, or rather. may say, gay and
complacent.
The great banquet was begun.
Tho King of Jaui jas eyes sparkled
with joy at the sight OF the first dish.
~ am afraid your Majesty viii have
little appetite tor our dishes after those
of Jauja," said King Perco, "since in
point Of good eating Jauja bears away
the PALM
Your Majesty is in error. In Jauja
we suffer torments when we cat. g"
"But man alive, don't they say that
everybody eats and drinks and nobody
works"
Perfectly true
''Then ] don't understand"
Heavens! How dull your Majesty is!
As nobody works in Jauja, everything
has to be eaten without cooking"
''Oh. ] see. Your Ma csty is right.
II never occurred TO me. For long
time have been revolving plan for
abolishIng all work in my domains, but
sec now, II ] would suppress work,
everything would be on its back"
Just as it is in Jauja.'