Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-04
FOR MOTHE9S-lN-LAV.
a Mechanical B"d which il. ~ Great De
msna by Nou'is Husbands.

a Mechanical H"d Which i. ~ Great De.
msna by Nou,s Husbands.
DuSelmeyer was a commercial trav-
eler. He travelled in wine. There was
also . good deal of wine N DuSelmeyer
when he travc!,I a he always had his
ssMple eases handy. Duselmeyer was
very energetic. He rushed things. Fo,
this reason hs always travelled by night
in . sleeper. He never slept except
wher travelling. This became second
nature with him.
One day he received a telegram that
his aunt had died abruptly. She was
rich. and she had left all her property
TO Duselmeyer. He was rich man all
at once. He ceased to travel for other
people. He established himself in bu'i-
ness. He haii every luxury he could
think of. Hca:ssired To lead Il quiet
life. but. alas, he could not sleep. He
had become accustomed 10 the noise and
racket OF a railroad train. twas impos-
sible for him tn sleep where il was quiet.
The silence kept him awake. 1t nexrlv
drove him distracted.
In short time Duselmever. the rubi-
cund, jolly drummer, began to fade
away. like flower He wlted visibly.
He subscribed to several humorous pa,
pers and read them. too, but still he did
not sleep. He tried elec-homeo. and
all the other pathies, and they failed to
make him drowsy. He became thin.
and looked like man on the edge ct
sarcophagus
1t occurred to Duselmever to visit .
neighboring city to consult celebrated
doctor. As soon As the train was in
motion he fell asleep. He slept ~
sound as an entire board Of alderman
In session. The shaking. humping, rat
tling of the cars, the whistling OF
the locomotive, the banging of the car
door by the conductor made him drowsy.
Duselmeyer was in his element. He had
discovered the Eroper remedy for his
sleeplessness. Whenever he felt sleepy
he got on the train. After awhile this
got monotonous 1t WAS also very ex-
pelsivs.
A happy thought occurred TO Dusel-
meyer. He knew mechanic who WAS
genius in his way. DuSelneyer explained
that he wanted railroad bed He
wanted bed that would rattle. Jump
about like a car, blow off steam. and
snort like locomotive. The mechani-
cal genius went 10 work, and in short
time he had the bed ready.
Ii was brought into the bed room, and
that night he tried it. he touched
button. The bed swaged about. ratified,
and jumped. Every few minutes there
was q sound. as if door was banged.
Every once in a while it srorted like q
locomotive. How happy was Dusel-
meyer! He slept ike a top. He dreamt
that he was in Heaven. and he saw the
mechsuical genius with hslo around
his hesd like a saints.
When he awoks he was being shook
up just as if he was travelling on
limited express. 1t snorted beautifully.
Now said Duselmeyer. "Tll just
slow Ub. and get out at the next sta.
ton
He was not quite sure which was the
right button To press in order to stop tie
bed. He pressed one Of the buttons, but
tue result was that ne was nearly shaken
out Of the bed. He had pulled open the
throttle-valve, and the bed was going
through all the motions of lightning
express train running at the rate OF sew
enty miles an hour.
Duselmeyer pressed another button
Whew. There was a shrek of danger
from the steam whistle. There was
strange grinding sound. The bed began
to buck like Texas COW pony. At last
it hurled Dusclmeyer against the wall
with frightful violence. and tumbled
over on one side.
DuSelmeyer was not fatally injured
by the bed being ditched. The mechani.
cal genius was sent for He explained
that he had forgotten to tell Duselmeyel
about the attachment for jumping the
track. However. Duselmever had found
out all about it without any assistance.
in the meantime, had got
and his wife's mother carried
out previous threat OF paving the un-
happy couple visit. She even went SO
far as to hint that she was going to make
him two visits a year-each one 10 last
six months.
What did the wicked Duselmeyer do?
He put the rsilroad bed-which ou1-
wardly looked like any other bed-intC
the old lady's room. and he sneaked in
after she was fast asleep and put the
machinery to work How she beloved
and went on! In her frenzy she touched
the button that threw the train into the |
ditch. Once more the bed asserted |
itself. The old lady caromed on the
ceiling. and next morning she said she
preferred a quiet life at her own home, !
honored her whims in this
respect
Samuel Litchfeld, of Scituate, Mass, has
pear tree 206 years old. !