The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Some people pass through various vi
cissitudes in life without losing hair.
Probably because they were bald headed
- Waterloo Observer.
A widow in India burns herself for
her husband. In America she marries
another and gives him a roasting.-
Pittsbu,g Chr0nicle.
1.-The way to sleep" says a scientist,
'is TO think of nothing" When an
editor wants to slumber all he has to do
is to try and remember how much money
he has in the world.-BoSt0n Post.
Court plaster on ladies faces in public
PLACES is becoming fashionable in the
East In the West the girls use the old
style of court plaster, which consists Of
a mustache mixed with loud noise.
Pittsburg Chronicle.
A baseball player says he would
never vote again for a certain member of
the legislature, because when a certain
clause in a bill was up, he had under
stood the member had made motion to
strike ut.-Werchaat- Trdueler.
If the world is indeed worse than it
was some centuries ago, we suspect it
may be accounted for by the fact that in
those times a man didn't have to wear
suspenders without buttons to match, o
use matches for buttons Br0Un Bread
Says a writer on table etiquette: Il
you are of party to dinner or lunch
wait by your chair until all seat them
selves" If this rule is rigidly observed,
the dinner or lunch is apt to get cold be-
fore the company is successfully seated.
First polcemon-"Arranged your
plans for next summerN Second police
man-"Oh, yes; | shall spend the entire
season among the breakers" "The en-
tire season. You don't say so?" Eyes {;
among the aw-breakers. PHILADELPHIA
call.
We are glad to learn from valued
contemporary that "pickled walnuts are
now introduced at dinner" If there is
anything we dislike it is to sit opposite
picked walnut at dinner and not be on
speaking terms with PHILADELPHIA
Press.
No one is ever killed by lightning
when asleep in bed, according to the as
sertion of an English electrician. When
ever you hear clap of thunder always
go to bed and fall asleep Immediately.
This is sure precaution. -NeD York
Graphic.
Scene on a horse car: Passenger
Conductor, what are we being delayed
forN Conductor-"M Misplaced switch,
sir" Little boy in the rear-'Well,
that is what | told mother this morning
when she gave me such whaling"
Passengers i'll chorus all 81 -iling and sat
isfed.
How are you, Smith," asked a Fourth
: avenue man of friend he had not seen
, for nearly year. GLOW are all the
!, girls2 Are you as sweet upon Miss Jones
, as you used to be-" "Oh, no. l left
!, that off several months ago" 'IIave O
quarrel" "No. | married her last
August. - Graphic.
, There was man in Norristown,
. And he was very tall;
He went into the skating rink
: And got a heavy fall
3 And when he found himself laughed at,
With all his might and main
I He quickly sprang upon his feet
And fell right down again.
-Norristo,oh. Herald,
"My dear" said husband TO hi.
: wife, Il am unable to get any sleep;
! have tossed ever since | came to bed
/, wish you would get up and prepare me
L little laudanum." "It's hardly worth
= while now she replied, consulting he
= watch; Its almost time to build the
. kitchen fire." Then he sank into quiet
u restful slumber. Boston JoHlnaL
n A wcll-known gentleman in this city
;. is the author of a novel which relates tc
, the adventures Of a party on a desert
:. island. In the course of the story h
+. describes the building of steel yacht
r and remarks that the plates were rivetet
together A critic, picking him up
!. asked him how they accomplished the
riveting, and was met by the reply tina
! the goats which they found on the island
butted them in.-Bostoa Post.
For midsummer woolens Is new
fabric called wool crepe, of the texture
a of nuns vaillng of finest qualities, will
. slight crepe-like crinkles all over it
G this may be had in black, in medium
:. colors and in the lighter shades for even
C ing dresses.
# Golden brown, gray dark blue or Olive
S are the most serviceable shades in plail
IS wooden goods for suits for utility pur
IS poses, and young ladies who have leisur
d can easily braid or embroider thes
|, dresses in soutache or other braid of
i deeper color than the dress.
Il All the managing mammas among tn
II English nobility are arranging to brins
8 out their debutantcs simultaneously will
u the Prince Of Wales two daughters, re
c spectively II and 1G years, who will b
o launched on the seas of English societ
9 the coming season, which begins il
&C July.
. silk handkerchief of bright colors arr
= much used, not only for hat trimmings
4 but Tor making pretty afternoon aprons
The handkerchief is not cut, but seweC
q to a ribbon matching it in color, as ia
=, in front as needed, with the ends turned
), over en- revers at the sides. The ribbon
" is tied at the sides in full loops anC
bows.
The changeable surahs combined witt
! velvet figured surah are the fashionabl,