The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-28
pUNGENT PARAGRAPHS


Servants belong to the hire types Of
humanity.
A court house-Thc home of mar
riagcablc daughtcrs.-LDe.
The way to make an ovcrcoat last is to
make the undcrcoat first. Lynn Union.
Fixed stars members of stranded
theatrical troupe. c.-Burlington Free Press.
"Thcrc is always room at the top
probably originated with the late hotel
guest.
Energy and a boy digging fish bait
both mean about the same thing. Chi
cago Ledger.
The dentist who announces that he
will spare no pains to pull teeth well is
the man to keep away FROM Picayune.
81 tell you, folks, like to travel,'
said granger, ''and for that reas on l
generally go to mill myself. y Chicago
Ledger.
japanese dentists use the thumb
and foretingcr in pulling teeth, and don't
charge anything extra even if it takes an
hour to do it,
This world is but a f1eeting show
For mans illusion given,
few mad sips of woman's lips
Is all he knows of heaven.
- Washington Ilatchet.
Some one says: "You can tell when
it is noontime by looking in a cats eyes. !"
Certainly. all you have to do is to hold
the cat, look directly into its eyes and
wait for the clock to strike 12.-Boston
Post.
A new song is called "The Coming
Step" The coming step is probably
that of the old man, and if you are a
prudent young man make your exit via
the window and over the garden WALL
Hartford Journal.
The average male head is said to con
tain 1873, 900 hairs. You can know at
any given time how many you possess
by counting each night those which your
wife has pulled out during the day and
subtracting. Boston Post.
"Belmont, N. H., boasts of woman
who goes out and chops wood with her
husband" 1t is quite a common thing
for women to mop the floor with their
husbands, but we never heard of chop
ping wood with them. = ngleside.
a, Paragraphs are floating about to the
effect that diseases are frequently com
municated by kissing. We supposed
every ono knew that the most dangerous
and swift of all diseases was commune
Gated in that way-heart disease. PUCK.
Out in the boundless West, when a
young fellow gets married, the first thing
he receives is serenade from the local
band. This generally reconciles him to
any sort of treatment and he settles
down and is happy afterward.-Stotes-
man.
A Southern woman boasts that she
has still in use a rolling pin bought when
she was married, sixty-one years ago.
Nothing like having tried and trusty
weapon about the house to keep a hus-
band in docile working order. -Lo1eU
Citizen.
TIE PRACTICAL POET.
For fame let youthful poets sing
Who feel not poverty's keen lash;
I'd rather that the muse would bring
Me my reward in solid cash.
I'll gladly leave the fame to those
Who for living need not toll;
Fame won't buy a suit of clothes
Or make the family kettle boil
boston Courier. -,
The proprietor of menagerie relates
that one of his lions once had thorn
taken out of his paw by French major
in Algeria. The lion afterward ran over
the list of officers belonging to the regi-
ment of his benefactor, and, out of graft
tude, devoured both the colonel and
lieutenant colonel, whose places were
then filled by the good major.
'TwIXT THE CUP AND THE LIP.
Last night at the rink,
made my confession.
She had liked me, think,
Till last night at the rink:
l felt her form sink
let go with discretion.
Last night at the rink
We made an impression.
Life
Notwithstanding the apparently large