Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-16
BRIGHT BITS.

WIFE-"Don't bother me now; untwist your
own suspenders; we surely will be late. It's
time now for the first dance. and am now
only half undressed for the ball. - Exchanges.
THE tendency TO do wrong increases to-
wards night" says a well known clergyman.
| think this is very likely to be true for when
Adam ate the forbidden fruit it was near Eve.
Boston Times,
HENRY NJ. STANLEY told the Baptist Mis-
slonary Society that dead missionary was of
no use. It is just on this point that the hi gh-
est cannibalistic authorities differ from Henry
Nj. Stanley.-Detr0it Free Press.
PARAGRAPH from a story IN Chambers
journal: (''l may here state for the benefit
OF the unlnitiated that throwing ones hand
up is a sign throughout America that one
doesn't intend 10 draw pistol and shOot.")
1T was an Indiana ofice-seeker who applied
for the position of sexton of the Post Office
Department building in Washington. He
probably thought that a sexton was a good
man TO have around to bury the dead letters.
-Egchdn0e.
A LITTLE GIRL aged called her father to
her bedside the other evening. Papa" said
his little diplomat, II want to ask your adj
vice" "Wel, my desr, what is it about?"
"What do You think It VIII be best to give me
on my birthday@'-Es.
at has always seemed very curious thing
to me" said the lady at the theatre, and then
she paused. ''Well," sand her husband little
impatiently. what is it that always seemed
such curious thing to your" ''Why, that
baldheaded men should care to sit so near the
flies. food Cheer.
CARE you at all esthetical in your tastes?"
she asked in sprlghtly manner, as she moved
toward the piano. "Well, a little" he an
swered. Pm esthetical to the extent of
having an admiration for unsung songs"
There is now deep gulf between them which
nothing can bridge.-B0ston Journal.
COUNSEL ITO witnessl-How tall was the
boy? Remember you are upon oath.
Witness (who has been badgered )-Well-er
Counsel (smillng at the jury)-Come, come,
no hesitation. Was he three feet, or four feet,
or i've feet tall?
Witness with q siQh)-Yes, should say he
was.-Ne10 York Sun.
"BUT tell you he's good man."
'Why?"
"He tries to put on airs"
"In what wayP"
"Why, b'gosh, he wears two suspenders n
carries his terbacker in a box. and he never
thought o'chuckin' his pants into his boots
till he wanted the nomination. ~ hicago
Ledger.
NEVER heard of sheol: First Chicago Man
II heard SOMETHING very remarkable today
about the revised edition Of the Old Testa
ment"
Second Chicago Manifold Testament? Oh,
visers dor"
why, they have left out the word hell"
Indeed? And what did they substituted"
"Well, l don't know; st. Louis, guess
PHILADELPHIA Call.
SHE played and she played, aud she played.
Finally she got through. There was very
enthusiastic applause. They were so glad it
was over.
''Aiis- Jenkins plays charmingly, dent you
think sop said lady to a gentleman stand
ing by her.
"Ya-as. What was that pretty thing she
played?"
II am not quite sure. Something, l think.
by Opus. San Frdncisco Chronicle.
The child that on a carpet-t tack,
Left in the hotel hall,
Sits down. you bet will never speak,
But simply how'll
Eye-ball.
A COW stood gazing in a field,
With many other COWS.
Ana as she gently chewed her cud,
She muttered thus
e-brows.
The robin, when the ground is white
And wintry @9phyrs blow,
Winks with its beared and watery eyes,
And softly says
It's nose.
The bee, that flies from flower TO flower
And sweetest honey sips
Sings, rs he floats upon the wing,
The single word
Two lips
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