The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-01

The above feeble lines picture but
family the dilemma that confronts us,
and on one of whose horns we fear we
must inevitably be impaled. twill be
remembered that Mt the beginning OF
the year which died last night, we set
forth with such attractive phrase as
we could command the matchless
qualities of head and heart possessed
by our o. BIS. We thought such pub
lie notice was necessary in order that
the ladies might be guided in their
choice by the estimate placed upon va
rious individuals by one who was
among them and of them and had
abundant opportunity to know them.
1t was also rendered necessary i'll our
opinion by the extreme bashfulness
and timidity of the said o.. BIS, many
of whom could never summon suffi-
cient self command to properly display
their charms. The task was an easy
one, for our heart was in it, and we
knew that those for whom we under
took it would give us grateful thanks.
But this year the case is reversed.
1t is 10 longer Bargains in Bachelors"
but Bargains for Bachelors" and the
question that has knocked us out in
the first round is, "Shall we treat the
: O.M's, as we treated the Obs: 1--WE
doubt not that he who should publish to
the world the valuable and the inval-
3 liable qualities of our o. MS. would
t give the town boom by helping ma
e ny fioundering, wandering heart in
: other states to find peace here. But
!, alb the writer, the editor. the publish
l., er What plummet could sound the
/, depths of his fate, Think you he as
| sumes burden that is light? No, no
: 1t were better for him that he already
: had his license, yea that he were mar
r ried beyond recovery than that his
: name find Judgment in the ears of the
r subjects of such an advertisement. In
e the language Of Paul, or some othel
: author, it were well for him that he bt
short haired man.
Yet if we should slight them, if We
should pass them by in silence, would
i not swift and speedy condemnation be
likewise melted out? Although really
: we see little reason why the 0. Ms
should be written up. They are al
: ready known. They have three year:
out of every four to advertise them
selves; and during the fourth year they
have unlimited sway. They can say
unto the o. b. Come" and he cometh
I Cop and be goeth-then straightwaI
!, forgetteth what manner of man he wa
$ and Immediately goeth back again
4 Three long years the gospel according
: to the o. Ms. is sounded in the ears o
9 him whose evening footsteps wend al
. WAYS to the threshold of her wh'
y watches within, waiting for his com
3 ing. He is never without this gospel
j Being always advertised thus through
:; individual influence, it would certain
81 ly seem superfluous for US to publish
66 personal portraits, and we don't be
90 lieye we will.
a Let our reasons be distinctly under
- stood. 1t is not because such portrait
,ss would not be handsome ones, but b'
cause they are not needed. And wit
~ this statement we pray also for mere!
10, If the ladies feel that we have slighte
- them, let them be assured rhat the e
- ror was one of the head and not Of I'll
heart. Let them reflect. before wreal
O7S ing their vengeance, that life is ;
i' sweet to US as it is to them. Let tie
be meFciful.