The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1885-07-10
fENCILINGS FROM LIFE.

AAsS4AA4NoS 4NO4A LII LIE
HAVE you anything to say in miti-
cation of your crime?"
Cant say as l have.''
"Have you anything to say before
sentence is passed, why the full penalty
of the law should not be exacted?"
u 'tWell, no; reckon not. - .,,....l
"You have nothing then, to offer in
extenuation of your MISCONDUCT"
'sHold on a minute, Judge; believe
there is one little thing; but l don't
know as it will count for much,
either"
''WelI, what is it?''
81 never writ any spring poetry"
sit Is enough The penalty shall be
as light as the law allows. Ten days;
and you shall have turkey every meal
at my expense, for used to run a
newspaper myself -
ST CANNOT marry him, mamma, so
please do not urge me further"
"But, my dear child, he is"
81 know what you would say,
mamma, but it cannot be. will not
be his wife,
''Foolish girl! Why will you be SO
blind to your own INTERESTS He is all
that could be wished, and has no bad
habits"
"You do not know him, mammal"
"What do you mean?"
HE eats onions.
''But Cupid is blind"
''That may be, but he can smell,
and SO can I, and I'll never throw my
self away on a man that goes around
smelling like bologna factory
half the time, if have to be an old
maid"
"HELLo, Duffy; 1 heard you was out
West.''
Eyes I have been, but got back
Saturday."
How did you like it?''
"Well, l was good deal dIsappoint-
ed. Things have been misrepresented
like the mischief"
''You don't tell me-"
''You can't believe anything you
hear. Why, bless you, l was even
disappointed about the wind. You
know what whopping big sto-
ries they tell about the wind out
there?"
'.Yes."
"Well, don't you believe them. I
did, and got fooled. From what I'd
heard about the tall blowing in the
prairie countries l went out west ex-
pecting to see good share of the peo-
pie laying down and holding on to the
grass to keep from being blowed away,
but didn't see anything of the kind.
You may stand board straight up
against the house, and the wind will
hold it there three weeks at a stretch,
but when it comes to blowing the hair
from a dog slick and clean, why it
just can't do it, that's all"
"rll own that 1 love YOU, but"
BLESSED girl! And you will be my
wife?'
81 say love YOU"
''Of course you do, and YOU are a
darling for doing it. But when shall
we be married, my love?'
- "It can not be- .Fs- ."-
"What! Not be! But you said you
loved me-
Yes; too true; but L can not be
But why, my darlingP Do your
mo. On the contrary, my mother
favors your suit, and has urged me to
accept you"
'Then where's the htch?''
'Alas! l can not tell you.'
But you must
Il can not bring myself to do it.'
"And why Eot?''
Il would not wound your feelings"
Fudge on my feelings! Out with
it. What's wrong?"
stPleaSe do not insist''
'But l do insist. Come, what's the
trouble?"
81 could never respect you'll saw
you kick the dog. Oh, Harry! how
could you-boo-hoo!"
''And is that all? Ha-ha! Nv!
what a fright you gave me. l thought
it was something serious. There's no
drawback about that, and Well be
married as soon as you can get ready.
You poor little goose! If every woman
had to respect her husband there'd be
precious few weddings. Chicago
LeGQer.