The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1885-06-17
Wit AVID PLnAsANTRY.


Sees from thy pen no fien1ish joke or pun.
sis your husband an Odd Fellow" "Weil
! should imagine he is; never saw such
strange man in my life."
The wedding bell has very sweet tone, but
il is not so decisive as the tone OF the belle
after marrisge.-Yonkers Statesman.
He (rsading psper)-A Georgia man has
sold his wife. She-What q shamel He
Idon't know about that. He got $500 for
heI.
"Does our constant chatter disturb you?'
asked a lady of a follow passenger on q train
going West. Mo ma'am; l have been mar
ried nigh onto thirty yesrs."
"Why does a hen csckle?" asks an inquis-
tive exchange. We have never read no on
this subject, bat always supposed the sex of
the biTd might account for it.
"Will the coming man be hsppisr?' asks
writer. Ii depends to great extent upon
whether bis wife has got tired and gons to
sleep or is siill up waiting for him.
Mics Innocence: "What2 Two dollarsl
Why you're Just too dear for suything!p
Colby: go sisy. Miss; If ye'd only tould
me that last week, it's married 1 was this
mornin'."
Young mother-"Do you think baby looks
most like me or his father?" Nurse-"Liks
you, mum. Mr.. links is q mighty handsome
man" Advertisement-Wan compe-
anu CIVIL uUrS6ulAlC.
a New York State dairy maid has sue
cfeded in milking nine COWS in % minutes,
and that without being kicked once. She'd
probably go through her husbands wallst in
five seconds.-Detroit Free Press.
Emerson says, "All the world loves a
lover" Possibly, bat the love of all the
world doesn't make the lover any more coz
tented so long as one little snip OF a seven
teen year-old girl says that she can be to him
only as e sister.
Yes" said the widow Smith, as she hoy
cred Der the dying enbers upon the cold,
cold hearth, II have one comfort left
know where poor John is these bitter cold
nights, and know, too, that he is where it is
nice and warm"
A clergyman in Illinois is reported to have
startled his flock few Sundays ago by the
announcement: Remember our commun-
lon service next Sunday forenoon. The Lord
will be with us during the morning services
and the Bishop in the evening"
Priest-"Tell me, Murphy how came you
by that black eye? Were you fighting, eh?'
Murphy-"Well, indade, l won't dec2ive
yer reverence; but sure, IL yer reverence only
seen Miox's eye, now. throih you'd say there
was nothing wrong with mine at all, at all"
Wife-"Well, DOCTOR how isniy husbsnd?"
Dcctor-"GettiDg along finely. He is not in
a critical state at ALL Sorry to hear that :"
"Well, that's queer" Indeed it isn't; it's 8
sign he's pretty sick" "Why, madsme, 10
Whist way?n when he's well he's mighty
critical, 1 cen tell you"
A youpgmother, travelling with her infant
child, wrote the following letter to her hus
band st home: I'VE are all doing frst.rate
and enjoying ourselves very much. We are
in excellent health. The boy can crawl
about on sll tours. Hoping that the same
can bs said of you, 1 remain" etc.
81 wish bad eyes in the back Of my
head" said young lady the other evening
"Why % asked q devoted admirsr, breath
lessly. $50 that could see what was going
You can turn my head without any
| trouble" responded the youth with gloomy
sigh.
Mrs. Brown recently advertised for 8
French cook, and was surprised to receive a
call from en- applicant of decidedly Hibernian
appearance. You were born in the north
ern part OF France, 1 presume, said Mrs.
| Brown. Not exactly" replied the appli-
cant. 1 came from little island just off
the coast"
Young wife Gust home from the cooking
school IL feel so encouraged, Miss Parlos
csmplimented me on my progress to-day.
! But poor Miss Smith am really sorry for
her. Shs tries hard. but she doesn't seem to
get on at all. Young husband-You must
remember, my dear, that MISS Smith has no
one to practice on.
Beloved brethren" remarked q country
minister at the close of his sermon, "smong
| the pennies and two-cent pieces of last Sab
| baths collection l was surprised to find a
| gold coin Of considerable value. As there
were no strangers in the congregation it
was evidently put there by mistake. By ap
| plying 10 the treasurer and proving property
the owner can recover his money. Let Us
unite in prayer.
They were coming out of the theater, and
| as he put her cloak about her he asked:
well, how did you like it?' "Oh, didn't
| ike it at ali; ii was miserable" Indeed"
Yes couldn't zee anything nice about it."
| why, I'm surprised-I thought 1t nagnif-
! cent" Magnificent! Bat then, of course,
| you couldn't tell why, it was nothing bat
common plush. and she thinks every one
will suppose it sealskin." "Bat-I was
speaking of the play" "Oh, yes, the play
WAS pretty good, but didn't you notice the
| sacque that horrid Smith girl worep'- Bos-
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