davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
'My dear fellow" said he, "you
frightened me for moment. thought
that was stomach-pump."
SELECT SIFTINGS.

The President has the appointment of
ten cadets at West Point.
There is life-sized female statue, cut
from salt, at New Orleans.
Ok, Or, All and Po are four postoffices
in the United States whose names con.
tain only two letters.
Wet and dry seasons affect the wings
OF butterflies in India so differently as to
cause broods of the same insect to be
taken for distinct species.
The word measles originally signifed
leprosy, although in modern times used
for far dilfeent disorder. Its derivation
is from the old French word meseau, OF
mesel, lepcr.
A French physician has written long
letter on the advantages of groaning and
crying. He tells of a man who reduced
his pulse from 1876 to sixty in the course
of few hours by giving vent to his
emotions.
In Teheran, Persia, the teahouses are
all open to the public, and even the
schools are exposed alike, the shops often
having shops on each side. The boys
sit on their heels in rows and repeat the
lesson after the master, apparently undis-
turbed at the continual hubbub going Cd
around them.
During the Spanish invasion of Hol-
land several victories were won by the
native soldiers who, on skates, suddenly
moved on the forces of Alva, and as
quietly retired to their own camp. For
period of more than four hundred
years the soldiers have been trained to
perform eyolutions on skates.
In old times the turquoise was sup
posed to lose its color entirely at the
death Of its owner, but to recover it
when placed upon the finger of new
and healthy possessor. 1t was said that
whoever wore turquoise so that either
it or its setting touched the skin, might
fall from any height, the stone attract
ing to itself the whole force of the blow.
The cook in an uptown club, New
York, was bothered by number of rats,
until he hit upon novel dish for them.
He collected a small pan of wine bottle
corks, and chopped them up. Then he
fried the pieces in lard and Dreaded them.
The rats ate them at night, and drank
from dish of water conveniently placed.
In few days the rats were all found
dead, and the cook was very happy over
his experiment.
The last reported novelty in London
is burglars company, which conducts
business in most careful and systematic
manner 1t has number of inspectors,
who travel over Europe in quest of open
ings for work." and mechanics who
can open the most elaborate safe, FL
nally there is solicitor who negotiates
the restitution of bonds for a commits
sion of thirty-five per cent. All the
managers have received prison educa.
ton.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
A Remarkable Wall Street Character.

Not everybody has seen John Pondir,
but pretty nearly everybody in or out of
Wall street has heard of him. He has been
called the homeliest man in New York.
He never would take the medal at a
beauty show, and if homeliness would
stop clock he never would know what
time it is. You never came across man
who had not been made artifcially ugly
that could hold candle to Mr.. Pondir
for homeliness. His homeliness is of the
pure, natural, unadulterated type
He is just as good-natured and good
hearted as he is homely, and he is quite
proud of his looks. His skin is pale
rhinoceros color, and about as rough
as water hogs. His nose, his grand
distinguishing feature, is eight or ten
sizes too large for him, and he is pretty
good sized man. 1t covers up large
share of his face, and is indented with
pit holes and adorned with protuberances.
Poets, if they could see it, would rave
about it. New York has for years and
years talked about it, and the newspa-
pers have several times had occasion to
discuss it.
Mr.. Pondir does not object in the least
to his nose being brought to public at
tention. His mouth is about as large as
his nose, and his lips fange out like the
mouth of fog He has scrawny,
brick colored mustache and side-whisk-
ers and greenishgray eyes, and hands
and feet that an intelligent ape would be
ashamed of. This a fair description of a
remarkable man who used to be worth
81. 900, 900, but now is not. Mr.. Pom
dir is as smart as a steel trap. He is one
of the best connoisseurs in the world,
and can tell within $1OO of the value of
a work every time. On the old masters
he is an authority.
He is also an authority on wines and
precious stones. His senses are won
derfully acute. Mr.. Pondir is a man of
great assurance. He went to see Secre-
tary Stanton in war times. Putting on an
air of the utmost Importance he walked
past the guard unchallcnged. He was
remarkable figure, clad from neck to
heels in a sealskin coat, and startled the
secretary not little.
GLOW do you do, Mr.. Secretary"
said Mr.. Pondir, with smile that could
be compared to the opening of naviga-
ton. ~ am Honest John Pondir. l
have 150, 900 stand of arms that would
like to sell you," and Mr. Pondir named
the price that he desired for them.
81 don't know you," said the secre-
tary, who but for the odd figure the man
cut would doubtless have called the
guard.
Don't know me2" quoth Mr.. Pondir
in surprise. "Why, everybody knows
Honest John Pondir. Why, my word is
better than my bond"
Stanton actually bought the arms, and
Mr.. Pondir cleared splendid profit.
After that Mr.. Pondir speculated in gold
and subsequently in stocks and got to be
worth million. Mr.. Pondir has very
wide acquaintance.
He has son, called Rufus Hatch Pom
dir, who is named after Uncle Rufus
Hatch. The young man is so homely
that the measles would not take hold of
him. .-New York Financial Journal.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
Wild Game in Afgh anistan.

In the valley of the Kushk Rud we
saw deer of various kinds, wild boar,
and the goorkal, or wild ass. A large
drove of them passed our line of march
one morning, but we saw little of them
except the great cloud of dust they
turned up as they hurried off to higher
ground. understand that there is little
difference between the goorkal and the
kyang, or wild horse of Tibet Marmots
are also very plentiful, they have bur-
rowed their holes into the ground every
where, and it is dangerous to horses, as
their feet sink into the honeycombed
earth. These marmots may be said to be
now the real possessors of the land, for
there is scarce yard of it which is not
occupied by them.
Partridges are also in considerable
numbers, and in the Kushk valley some
of our party found pheasants plentiful,
and wild pigs are still more numerous
there than on the higher ground. There
are large spaces on the side of the stream
covered with tall reeds, and the pigs
find cover in them. One morning on the
march l saw drove of about thirty pigs
led by a large boar, walking up the side
of the hill. They had been disturbed
by the baggage animals passing. They
went up the hillside, and about half
mile to the north they descended again
into another bed of reeds. They came
down in Indian file, forming a long
straight line, led still by the boar, and
as they descended their speed became
greater, till they disappeared in the
reeds. While watching the drove as it
came down hill, it was impossible not to
recall an event described in the Gospel
of st. Mark.
The boars are ferocious, as some of cur
party found who had attacked them, and
were attacked in return, and not having
the right kind of pig sticking spurs,
flight was deemed necessary Not being
able to deal with the boars has in some
instances interfered with the pheasant
shooting, for it would be awkward to be
caught by one of these huge tuskers in
jungle of tall reeds with only fowling
piece in your hand.-London Telegraph.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
She Was Mad,

AS lady opened the door of San
Francisco residence to ring, neatly
dressed individual bowed politely and
inserted one foot in the doorway far
enough to guarantee that proceedings
would not be brought to too summary a
close. The lady concluded that he was
an agent and remarked in vigorous tones,
81 don't want anything" at the same
time giving undeniable indications that
she desired to shut the door.
81 beg your pardon, madam, l am not
offering you anything" said he, with an
injured and dignifed air.
'Pray excuse me, she answered, "my
mistake arose from the fact that l have
been greatly annoyed by agents. Whom
did you wish to see!"
Without noticing her inquiry he said /:
"Madam, it is difficult to reconcile your
reception of me with what gentleman
would naturally expect at the hands of
lady. Such brusqueness is chilling to
refined and sensitive natures, accustomed
to the usages of polite society"
Again apologizing, she was about to
ask him in, when he drew from his coat
pocket little box and opening it, ex-
planned: "Madam, | have for sale here
an invaluable"
The feat of extracting his foot from
chat doorway before the door slammed
with noise that could be heard two
blocks, so distracted his attention that
le left the sentence uncompleted.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
ISLAND POND. VERMONT. MAY s, 1885.

she had the happiness of her son at her
motherly heart, when she said, With mois-
tening ewes:
"You and Lefty can marry now. Rob
ertl"
Some few months after this time, Mr.
Robert Langly stood with his mother on
one side, and his wife leaning on his arm
on the meadow-slope, watching from
distance the busy laborers throwing up a
clay embankment, where the new railroad
was to be laid.
The sun was slowly sinking to the
horizon, and his almost level rays shone
redly on the yellow clay, freshly turned
up and cleaning in long, bright line
against the green fields beyond.
"Dear mel" said Mrs. Langly, 81 never
knew there was so much clay on the
land; for all fathers talk about clay
substratum over there, and his plowing
In clover and mari. How red and yellow
it looKsl and how that long line of wet
clay shines in the sunlight, like streak
of gold.
At this, Lefty turned with Fright eyes,
full of sudden surprise.
"a streak of gold2 Oh, Robert, how
strangel Can this be the streak of gold
luck that your fathers Uncle Alick fore,
told?n
Mrs. Langly sank on the grassy bank,
quite Shaken" as she declared, with
this realization of the fulillment of the
prophesy
"Maybe," she said, presently, che did
rally see it by the gift O. second-sight;
or maybe, being clever, far-sighted
man, he might have got an idear that
railroad would have to run from c.
TO l. some time, and pass right
through the farm, or maybe, he might
have heard somebody say as much, when
he was speculatin' round the country.
I'd like to know which it was"
And to this day she has not made up
her mind on that point. IS. 4. Weiss.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
UNDER A CRAZY QUILT.

He slept, and dreamt that the kangaroo
Had given fancy ball;
The elephant came with the festive gnu,
The mouse with the ostrich tall.
A funny giraffe, that did nothing but laugh,
Dropped in with centipede;
And cricket and flea, that had just becn to
tea,
Waited round with remarkable speed.
A wasp and bumblebee had chat
Just over his little nose:
And boa constructor, upon the mat,
Dressed up in his Sunday clothes.
A crow and a raccoon in a fire balloon,
Paused over his bed to sing;
And neat aImadillo crept up on his pillow
To dance the Highland fling.
Then all, ere they left, made graceful bow,
And out in the moonlight sped;
Except ponderous brindle COW,
Which stopped to stand on its head.
rhe little boy woke, and grinned at the joke
Sprang out of bed with lit
81 will dream it all over" said hes +" II they
cover
Me up with crazy quilt"
George Cooper
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
Remarkable GrOttOas.

The Fish River caves, near Sydney, IN
Australia, are among the most remarka-
BILE limestone grottoes in the world, and
take rank with the Mammouth cave in
Kentucky, and the Luray cavern in Vir-
ginia. The Fish River caves, which
have been recently explored, are remark
able for kind of tiligree glass-work and
stalactic drapery, which hangs like arras
from the walls and roofs. !, In one part
of the cave pond of clear water was
found, its bottom glistening with
pearls and other concretionary forms
like nodules, marbles, birds eggs, etc.,
interspersed with patches of diminu.
tive coral FORMS" In the Shawl cave
there are curtains from ten to twenty
feet long, some nearly white, othera
striped with pink, yellow and brown.
A fresh grotto has also been discovered
quite recently at Dargali in Sardinia.
The grotto commences with large hall
with sixteen columns rising from the
alabaster floor, and apparently sustaining
the pure white roof which is wreathed
and festooned with flowers and figures
of animals in limestone. The most won.
derful thing in the hall was, however,
the petrilicd skeleton of majestic stag,
which was partly destroyed by visitors,
and the spine of which has been sent en-,
tire to a professor of natural history IN
Cagliari The grotto consists of si1
other large chambers full of natural curl
osities.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
Why He Was frightened.

Among the disagreeables of hotel
mans life are his encounters with the
professional beat. Not long ago there
dourished in New York one of this
genius, who had so persistently worked
the hotels and restaurants that his fea-
tuIes were familiar to all the clerks and
proprietors. His appearance became the
signal for prompt and forcible election.
Chance favored him one day, and as he
passed one of the uptown restaurants
lie observed new man at the cashiers
lesk. Assuming lordly air, he walked
n, seated himself at one of the tables,
ind ordered sumptuous repast. This
ne consumed with great relish, aiding
she process with copious supply of the
pest wines on the list.
Summoning the waiter, he was helped
on with his coat, and affectingan absent
minded mood started for the door, dis
appointing the waiter of the generous
fee which might be expected from so
lavish diner. AS the beat neared the
door he was surprised to see the proprie-
tor an oft-swindled acquaintance
seated at the cashiers desk
The beat sauntered leisurely up to the
desk with his fingers in his vest pockets
as though feeling for his money. A look
of despair came over his face.
'By Jove, old man, he said "do you
know I've come away from home without
cent | changed my vest and left my
roll on my bureau. Deuced awkward,
you know, but I'll stop in on my way
down in the morning and make it all
right"
''Not much you don't, F." replied the
proprietor, producing large and potent
revolver from beneath the counter.
"You'll settle before you leave the
premises"
The beat turned pale as he looked
down the muzzle of the revolver. He
gasped and shook with terror, but of a
sudden regained his composure and q
smile played over his features.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
VOL. XIII.
THE BALLAD OF THE BABY.

Bald Of head and red In the face,
I'm only baby, weak and small;
a bundle of flannel and bib and lace;
But don't, beg, into error fall,
For there's not a thing on this earthly bah,
Or big or little, or old or new,
That holds the world in completer thrall;
Come, list to the deeds that I can do.
can Shrek a shrek to rend all space,
Can choke myself with my broidered
shawl;
Can send my nurse on frantic chase
For pins that were never there at all;
can make my pa, so brave and tall,
Say curious words, just one or two,
As he walks the floor to hush my squan;
Come, list to the deeds that l can do.
lean coo and COO with tender grace.
And bring my subjects at beck and call
With cunning smile and a soft embrace,
While into mischief straightway crawl;
My mammals anger can forestall,
can patty-cake and can peek.a-boo,
can charm, enslave, delude, appal;
Come, list to the deeds that can do.
With my tiny hands can build life's wall
AS true and strong as the skies are blue;
am the monarch of hut and hall;
Come, list to the deeds that can do.
-Curlotta PeT7'u
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
Boiling Water in Sheet of Paper

Take piece of paper and fold it up
as school boys do, into square boz
without lid. Hang this up to a walk.
ing stick by four threads, and support
the stick on books or other convenient
props. Then lamp or taper must be
placed under this dainty cauldron. IL
few moments the water will boil.
The only fear is lest the threads should
catch fire and let the water spill into tho
lamp and over the table. The flame
must therefore not be too large. The
paper does not burn, because it is wet,
and even if it resisted the wet it would
not be burned through, because the heat
impaired to it one side by the flame
would be very rapidly conducted away
by the other. Mature.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
Couldn't Make il Ont.

The proprietor of tannery having
erected building on the main street for
the sale of his leather, the purchase of
hides, etc., began to consider what kind
of sign would be most attractive. At
last what he thought happy idea struck
him. He bored an auger-hole through
the door post and stuck calf's tail into
it, with the bushy end Haunting out.
After while he noticed a graye-looking
person standing near the door, with
spectacles on, gazing iptently at the sign.
So long did he gaze that finally the tan
ner stepped out and addressed the indi-
vidual:
"Good morning!n
Morning" replied the man, without
moving his eyes from the sign.
"You want to buy leatheri"-"No."
"Want to sell hides 2"-"No."
care you armer?"-"No."
care you merchant2"-"No."
"Lawyer?"-"No.n
"DoctorY"-"No."
''Minister2"-
"What in the deuce are you9"-sTm
a philosopher. I've been standing here
half an hour trying to decide how that
calf got through that augur-hole, and for
the life of me, can't makeit outT"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
vyantelto he RemiuJe1 ].

A man had story about gun, which
he delivered himself of upon all occa-
sions.
AT dinner party, the other evening,
he writhed in his chair for over an hour
waiting for a chance to introduce his
story, but no opportunity presented it.
self. Finally he slipped coin into the
nand of waiter and whispered;
"When you leave the room again slam
the door,"
The waiter slammed the door as di-
:ectcd, and the man sprang to his feet
with the exclamation:
"What's that noise-a gun?"
"No, no, resumed his host, sit was
only the door"
"Ah, l see. Well, speaking of guns,
reminds me of little story" etc.
BRAKES Magazine.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
WIT FOR WARM WEATHER.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES THAT WILL
REPAY PERusAL.

An Anti-ExplOsiVe-W wanted 20 be
Reminded Couldn't Make it Out
She Was Mad, Etc.
$50 you say if put a teaspoonful of
this powder in a gallon of Kerosene it
won't explode" said Colonel Withcr-
spoon to the peddler of tie Anti-ex-
plosion Powder.
It's just as tell you, sir. You put
the powder in it and you can't make the
kerosene explode. You can stick a
lighted match in it and it don't explode. F"
4" Very well, now put the powder in
this kerosene can, I'll just drop this
lighted match into it,
The peddler rccoiled with horror and
with voice that was heard on the next
block, yelled
"Quit that foolishncss, will you! Do
you want to blow us all to the dickens. =
SytingS.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08

Along the lower course of the Ural
river, in Russia, the prohibitory liquor
laws are so strict as TO prevent the sale
of all distilled drinks. The rich people
in consequence have taken to the con.
sumption of cologne, the little town of
Guryef alone consuming about 2.OOe
dozen bottles year,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08

The Oldest apothecary shop in Berlin
will celebrate in 1888 its 400th anniver
sary, The shop was recently sold TO,
So, 600, 900.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08

The custom of decorating rooms by
strewing roses on furniture, bedding and
floors is extending in Paris.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-21
Powerful IroncIad.

1t is thought by naval architects that
the limit of naval strength had been
reached in the construction of the
Italian monster ironclads Duello aud
Dandolo. launched within few years.
But the Italia and Lepanto. the most re-
cent additions. are heavier yet both in
armor and ordnance. The last two
carry four guns. each weighing 100
tons, and capable of throwing shells Of
rising 1000 pounds weight. But the
British Government is to lay down one
first-class ironclad, which will be armed
with two guns only. but these will be
of ITO tons weight. will require more
than 600 pounds to load. and will
throw a Palliser steel shell of $500
pounds. The armor of this vessel.
however. will be but eighteen inches of
steel on q similar thickness of wood.
showing that no attempt will be made
to initiate the Italian method of thick
armor. The most powerful ship in the
British navy. the Inflexible, has twenty
four inches of solid iron encasing her
citadel. and twenty-five inches Of
solid teak backing. while her eighty
ton Armstrong gun throws shot
which has penetrated her own armor
plates thirty one inches depth.-N +.
Sun.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-21
SIZING HIM UP.

How m Experienced Mother AseertaineA
the Financial Standing Of Her Dsaghtsr's
Lover.
what were you and that John Muir
ply talking about SO long last nighta"
asked Mrs. Chinkle of her daughter
20. he was telling me about himself
and his people. his hopes and aspira-
tons"
..Um-um." murmured the old lady,
'.he told you all that, did hep"
Eyes, mamma; and he told me what
he was worth. too"
The old lady became interested.
"Ah." said she, ''he told You that,
did he?''
"Yes. mamma"
"And how much did he say he VA
worth?''
Nothing, mamma"
Il thought so. or it wouldn't have
taken him SO long to tell it.''
20, mamma-" pleaded the girl
Don't o. mamma me-" inter
rupted the mother, Il know all about
that sort of stock. and you can send
him word that if he comes here again
he'd better wear . life preserver. ~
Merchant Irareler.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-21

once explained that the warden had re-
ceived telegram from the Governor
ordering his immediate and uncondi-
tional release.
I'm explanation of this action by the
executive. will simply state that some
years after Mills conviction notorious
character was arrested in the city for
highway robbery. for which he was in
dicted. tried. convicted. and sentenced
to thirteen years at hard labor. and was
confined in the same penitentiary where
Mills had so long suffered.
"His dissipated habits had already
destroyed his health. consequently he
soon broke down under the rigors Of
prison discipline. Death was fast ap-
preaching him; its terrors aroused his
SCARED conscience to right . terrible
wrong. Having sent for the warden.
the dying criminal confessed that it was
he who had set fire to the dwelling by
throwing roll of cloth saturated with
petroleum through the window and
under the bed of the sleeping occupants;
that he was melted to inflict this cruel
wrong upon Mills in revenge for an old
time grudge and enmity against him.
The saddest part of it all was that,
after having endured all these years of
punishment he came back to find his
daughter and only child dead. and his
faithful. loving, devoted wife totally
blind.
"Circumstantial evidence. while in its
general character often seems more re-
liable than the oral testimony of living
witnesses. who may be prejudiced or
bribed. is. nevertheless. sometimes too
strong-proves too much, and is liable
to be misused. ."-Denrer Iribune-Re-
s,nblic0n