The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-12-11

How Children saouId BE Instructed-Ti
LIE of NAPKINS, Etc.

How NEAiluteA scum ~
Use of Napkins, Etc.
There is a prevailing opinion among
many people. and especially society PEG
ME. that a residence in the country. is I
SYNONYMOUS with awkward Dianners,
lack of politeness and disregard of Ell
quette generally. We can really think
of no reason why this should be the case,
and if in some instances it is so, the
cause is not TO be found in the fact of
having lived outside of the region of
brick walls and paved streets, but from
causes entirely outside of this circum-
stance. Many n person ignorant of the
most common forms of politeness and
etiquette, may be found among the dem
liens of tie city. who have never seen a
cornfield or dug potato.
1t Is said Of some people and children
that is natural to them to be polite, that
it seems to be born in them. This is
true. only in the sense that no other ex-
ample being presented, they learn it so
easily it appears to be natural. A child's
mind IS a blank, and everything he
knows is learned at some time. This is
shown sometimes in the case of a spoiled
child, who has always been allowed to
have his own way and treat others as he
pieascs. His parents may be cultivated
aud refined people. but such a child will
reach across the table 10 help himself,
will say give me this, p" or snatch an
article away from another OF do any Of
/ the rude things supposed to be confined
/ to ignorant and Uncultivated society.
The native politeness which one would
expect viii appear to be entirely want
ing.
/ Since. then. politeness is entirely an
/ acquired habit. there can be no reason
/ why it should not be acquired in the
/ country as we'll as the city. and we have
! no doubt but what this is the case.
/ There are probably few houses into
/ which this paper goes where the Ordi
nary forms of pOlitcnesS are not OBJ
] served. Children are taught TO say
thank YOU and IF YOU please" and
/ to say eyes, ma am and mo, sir, "
when spoken TO. Bat there are some
forms of what is called etiquette that
are sometimes neglected Among these
( that of table etiquette is perhaps most
important, as a talk Of such knowledge
occasions great embarrassment to a per-
son when thrown among company who
are accustomed TO such forms.
The use of napkins are sometimes
neglected, which is an important omis-
sion. Fashion now prescribes such
large napkins that they are sometimes
! denOminated small tablecloths, but
/ whether large or small, children should
/ be accustomed to the use of them. 1t
is not necessary to fasten the napkin
under the chin, except in small children,
the action being too suggestive of a bib,
but unfolded and laid in the lap, to be
used for wiping the fingers or mouth.
There are a few persons who do not find
occasion for its use, even if they do not
take the bones in their fingers as chill
dren are apt TO do, if left to themselves.
Polite society does not allow even chick
en- bones to be taken in the fingers which
were formerly the only exception, but
the meat must be removed as far as
possible with the knife and fork on the
plate.
1t being necessary to first teach chill
dren to use the knife with the right hand,
it is sometimes Il little hard to accustOm
them to the use of the fork in that hand
also, and they may require re-
peated admonitions. But once learn
ed they will never forget it, and
much modification may be saved
in the future for whatever may be
thought of the use of the fork, certainly
no other method of eating is accepted
in polite society. Neglect of these par
I IlCuldIS lit1 CtloC CIiIlNllCn ~ floh tlAO
reproachful question, why did you not
teach me these things?'
The days of delicate appetites among
ladies especially have gone by, and it is
considered perfectly proper to be helped
a second time if desired. No one wishes
to make a gluuon of himself, but when
hungry the appetite may be appeased
without fear of being thought ill-bred.
Neither is it necessary to wait until all
are helped before beginning to eat II
a large party is at the table, the first one
should wait a reasonable time until
those around him are helped. 1t is not
necessary to say "'thanks" or thank
you" every time an article IS passed, as
the repetition becomes monOtonous, a
single inclination of the head being
quite sufficient
As has been said in regard to slang
and correct language, if we wish chill
dren to acquire proper habits, we must
practice them ourselves, so in matters
of etiquette they must be kept constantly
before the child and practiced until
they are second nature. And really.
one way is as easy as the other Vest
err RlUdE