The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-06-20
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A baby born during a terrible storm
was named Cyclonia. Its father says the
appellation is a misnomer; a cyclone
doesn't howl every night.
In these hard times, when borrow
ing is so difficult, we'd like to know
whether distance keeps up its time hon
ored habit of lending enchantment to
the view.-Egchange
Talk about proficiency in skating
1t is really wonderful what the skaters
achieve. The Chicago girl. however. is
said to have displayed the most wonder
full feet yet seen on skates. 7eJds Sift-
ings.
What is the safest way to trans
fer beesp' asks a correspondent Our
experience teaches us that the safest way
is to stand off as far as possible and lei
the bees transfer themselves. -Burling-
ton Free Press.
-Customer-'I can't pay you to-day.
You see the shoemaker has just been
here, and" Tailor-"Yes; met him
on my way up. and he said you'd put
him off because you'd got to pay the
tailor to-day. So here's your bill, SIR"
-Harper's Bazar
-"Adulterations in Limburger cheese
have been discovered" The flavor OF
that delicacy has long led us to suspect
that something was the matter with the
Bismarckian food We thought maybe
it was not pulled until it was over-ripe;
but if it is adulterated, that explains it,
-NOrrtStoaOn Herald.
Embarrassed Young Man Crying
hard to say something)-"1 think, Miss
Belleairs, that 1 have had the pleasure
of meeting you before" Miss Belle
airs-"It is possible, but | do not re-
member it." E. Y. M.-"Was it not at
Mount Desertp' Miss B.--'I have
never been there" E. Y M.-"Neither
have I."-Mfe.
IL believe I've lost my WITS" said
a worried husband to his wife. ''In-
deedp l didn't know you had any to
lose." she answered, sarcastically. 80,
yes, dear, had some once" "Well, l
never observed them" mo, love,
lost them just before l met YOU" He
didn't want to say it, but she drove him
to it.-Merchant Traveller
See here" said citizen of st.
Louis to the proprietor of bookstore.
you'll have to take the book back |
asked you to give me volume of poetry
to put on the parlor table, but every
burned word in this book is straight
prose" "Why, man alive, that was
written by Shakespeare" II don't
care who wrik 1T, it's prose; I've looked
it all through. For instance, here's
specimen:
How silversweet sound lovers tongues by
night,
Like softest music to attendin' earsl
Do you call that poetry, rhymin' ears
with night? You can take it back. !
don't want it. IN. Y Times.
Music hath charms to soothe,"
and our latter day homes would indeed
be incomplete without the piano, the
culture of the voice and all that tends
to bring the soul en- rapport with the
harmony of the great masters. So it
happens that the Shuttles family endure
the ''hum ii tum" of practice hours
that they may enjoy the completed
sonata of the evening, when there ara
callers. Job, my DEAR" said Mrs
Shuttle, don't go down town this
evening. Stay, and listen to Selina's
new nocturne in G minor. It's perfect
ly lovely" (Which reminds me-"
said the practical Job, "Ive got to go
down town and pay Signor de Pound
hercingero six sonatas in x and noe
turne in v. That's what takes the
poetry out of music, my dear. Hart
ford Post.