The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1885-01-07
WIT AND PL1AsANTRY.

M You you nave s not wS1er IN you, no vstgn
The explanation was satisfactory.
"Can you tell me what makes my face look
so funny ?" asked Henderson, looking in the
glass. "Nose, sir, was Fogg's lsconic reply.
"Ah, Miss de Smith, are you going to hare
goose at dinner today" YES, hope so;
you'll come, won't your" but somehow
neither of them felt very comfortable after
that-Boston Post.
An ugly girl makes the best wife, and I've
seen q good many wives in my time. She is
not always thinking about her pretty face.
II was a fellow I'd mary a. ugly gill.
Thank Heaven I'm not 90 .,aoster.
First IrishmaD 80. lng in the corridor, to
his friend, rusl in from the COURT
Whats Tim gotl' Second Irishman Tin a
breathless vhisper)-"For loifel' First
Irishman-"For loife! with emotion.l
Och, sure and he won't live half the tholme."
They are discussing metempsychosis in q
drawing room. ~ d Gays q witty young
man, remember that way back in the days
of Moses and Aaron j was the golden calf.
Since then 1 have been changed" YES"
says lady thoughtfully, "tiEa has worn of
the gliding"
A young man in this city can not quite
make out whether his girl was sarcastic or
not in her remark TO him, after he had
quite proudly declared there was noble
blood in his veins, that only the night be-
fore her father had said the same thing
about his guernsey cow.-Boston Times.
A gentleman was one day relating to
oed by saying: II could not but feel for
him." Verify, friend" replied the Quaker,
thou didst right in that thou didst teel for
thy neighbor; but didst thou feel in the
right place didst thou feel in thy pocket"
"Pm regular blamed fool" said hus.
band to his wife, when he had done some
foolish thing or other, as is usual in all
well.tegulated families. ut isn't necessary
to put up q sign. my dear" she responded
so fervently that there didn't seem to be
any necessity for continuing the converse
ton.
George" said the young wife, 81 know
what Santa Claus is going to bring me Christ
mas" ''Do you love, what is it2' An ele-
CANT sealskin sscque, George" "You don't
say so. Well, I'm glad to hear it, for it will
save me good ceal OF money" And then
she went out into the kitchen and stepped
on the cat and gave the cook weeks no
tice.
What makes your horse go so slow%
asked g tourist one day in the Glen of the
Downs, of Ireland. Of his Celtic Jehu. 1T
is out OF Inspect to the bsyutiful sanery, yer
honor; be wants you to see 1t all. And thin,
he's an intelligent haste, and appreciates
good company, and wants to keep the like
O. yer in beloved ould Ireland as long as ne
can"
Capped the climax: An Englishman,
Frenchman and American were discussing
the merits of painters of their respective
countries The American, after listening 70
all the others had to advance in favor of
their countrymen, remarked: Wall, yes, /
guess they did some tall painting, bat there
was young fellow in our village and he got
piece of marble and painted il like cork,
and darn me if it didn't float"
1t was Just after the TIL 81 wonder"
snarled Romeo, ''iI we shall know each other
in heaven" II would remember you, of
course" replied Juliet, with tender emphs.
sis, but of course / couldn't know you
without meeting you" And period of
silence as long as a centennial poem crept
into the reom. Romeo kept thinking ABOUT
one thing and an other and one thing aud
another and one thing and another
Rurfeffa