davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-10-15
MULLINS, THE AGNOSTfC.
AS TOLD BY DEACON SALTWATER.

His name was William Mullins, and
He had sneering way
Of turniu' his proboscis up.
At every thing you'd say.
"Wall, now, how do We know says he;
'Humph, now, how do ye know"
TIE way it closed an argument
1t wasn't by no means SLOW.
You might be talking social-like
With fellers at the store
OF war and politics and SIGH,
And YOU might have the floor
And be gittin' things down fine
Proyin' that things was so,
When Mullins would stick his long nose in
With 'Humph, now how do ye know?"
1 seen that critter set in church
And take q sermon in,
and turn his nose up in a sneer
At death and grace and sin.
With no regard for time and place
Or realms of endless woe,
He'd rise ard bust the whole thingu
With 'Humph, now how do ye kn0w?"
He cut his grass whenever it rained,
He shocked his wheat up green,
He cut his corn behind the frost,
Fills hogs were ailus lean,
He built his stacks the big end up,
His corn cribs big end down;
Crooked as Mullins roadside fence
Was a proverb in our town.
The older he got the wuss he grew,
And crookeder day by day:
The squint of his eyes would wind a clock,
His toes turned out each way;
His boots and shoes were both Of 'em leftS,
The rheumatic twisted so;
But if you said he didn't look well
He'd growl, Now, how do ye know"
And that darned grit led to his death
He was on the railroad track
Crossin' a bridge; | heard the train
Aud yelled, Mullins, come back
The train is round the curve in sIght,''
Says he, "Humph, how do ye knOw?"
] helped to gather him Up in a pail
The engine scattered him SO.
/ think it's best to have more faith
la day concerns,
And not be allus q SnoOpin' round
To git behind the returns.
A plain statement will do for me,
A hint instead OF blow;
A cOroners jury may fetch out facts,
But it's rather late to know.
"A. T. Worden.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-10-15

A kind hearted man in Atlanta,
noticing a curious attachment between
a child and toad, thought to amuse
the child by getting him some intelli-
gent toads. His advertisement in the
morning paper for two dozen toads,
brought to his door continual stream
of toad merchants lasting for two
days, and offering him toads by the
hundred, in bags, sacks, baskets,
buckets, and pals. His kindness in
the toad line is now tempered by dis
cretion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-10-15
Colonel Charles @. Jones, Jr.,

Colonel Charles @. Jones, Jr., of
Augusta, Ga, having investigated the
SUSPECT. is convinced that neither
Major General Nathaniel Greene nor
Major General Count Pulaski sleeps
beneath the respective monument
which a grateful and patriotic people
have reared in their honor"
A Pennsylvania woman was run
over by a locomotive on her Tooth
birthday.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-10-15
He was from Montreal.
Rochester Democrat and Chronicle.

Rocnester Democrat and Chronicle.
'Gentleman. would you mind NOV
ing along and giving me a seat? l
don't feel very well"
''You look well enough to stand /;
we're crowded already" said a glum
young man.
Excuse me, but I've travelled all
the way from Montreal, and 7
didn't -"
Within two minutes the stranger
had choice of all the seats and he
wasn't from Montreal either.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-10-15

Youpg Lady-"We had a delight
full tine at Music hall last evening,
Mr.. Dumley. 1t was q Meyerbeer
night, you know. Are you fond of
Meyerbeer?" Mr. DumleY (hesitating>
ly): Eye es, but I think would just
as soon have Milwaukee"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-10-15
TO PULL THE ROUND PIN

and uncouple him from the train. He
OWNED my intention, and again open
ed the throttle to prevent it, but just
a second too late, and with a peal of
maniac laughter and a long blast of
defiance from the whistle floating on
the night air, relieved from the weight
of the train, the engine with increas-
ed speed again sprang forward on her
path to destruction. When / saw
that the train was safe the terrible
tension on my nerves relaxed and I
sank down on the platform inseRsible,
in which condition I was found short>
ly afterwards, when the train had
been stopped with the hand brakes.
Il was months before | recovered from
this nervous shock, and are you sur
prised that since then l am always
uneasy for a while with a strange en-
gineer."
The wild engine went off the
trestle and was totally wrecked VIXEN
it struck in the valley below-aud the
mailman driver was found in the de-
bris, burned and mangled beyond
recognition.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
Greenland Vegetables.

In Greenland attempts have been made
to raise some of the common plants of
European gardens. At the Danish sta
ton of GOdthaab, close to the open sea-
turnips, radishes, lettuces and parsley
are almost the only plants that can be
cultivated with any success. The turnip,
indeed, requires favorable summer to
produce anything like tolerable speci-
mems. The cabbages are scarcely wor-
thy of the name; but at two inland s'a-
tions up the ford, about thirty miles
narth of Godthaab, the climate is strik-
ingly different. Here, DR.. Rink informs
us, turnips always come to perfection;
carrots prosper well, and attain fair
size; and cabbages, though unable to
develop thick stalks. yet produce tolera-
bly, large leaves, which the provident
Danes stow away for winter use.
Attempts have been made to cultivate
potatoes, but the tubers never attain
size larger than marbles, and are only
grown aud eaten as curiosities. Under
the most favorable circumstances green
peas only produce shells, in which the
peas are barely recognizable. This
is within the Arctic circle, or at
least on its immediate borders. In South
Greenland sight of the old Morse
mems settlements-horticu is prac-
tised under more favorable circum-
stances. At some of the posts in about
the same latitude as Christiana, good
carrots have been produced, and in
forcing frame strawberries have grown
well, and yielded fruit for several years,
but they afterward died, owing proba-
bly, to the severity of the climate.
AT Julianshaab turnips often attain
weight of half a pound, and are fit for
table in the middle of July. Radishcs
are fit to be eaten in the middle of June.
Rhubarb grows pretty vigorously, and
can be raised from seeds. Green
cabbage attains good size, but never
the normal taste and puugency of the
vegetable. At Jakobshavn, DIR. Pfaif
used to raise a few radshcs, and the To-
cality being sheltered, the tiny patch of
earth on the rocks, which in that remote
place passed for a garden, produced
''crops" almost as luXuriant as Godthaab
in the south.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
WISE WORDS.

Behavior is a mirror in which every
one shows his image.
A latent discomfort is the secret spur
of all our enterprises.
representation is the first law of ma
turc, but too many in this world act as if
it were the only one.
The more able II man is, if he makes
i'll use of his abilities, the more danger
Gus will he be to the commonwealth.
Iders cannot even find time to be
idle, or the industrious to be at leisure.
We must be always doing or suffering.
If man is quick you had
better go to the other side of the road
until the paroxysm is over; if he is sui
len go to the other side of the street and
stay there.
What makes us like new acquaintance
is not so much any WEAKNESS of our old
ones, or the pleasure of change, as dis
gust at not being sufficiently admired by
those who know us too we'll and the
hone of being more so by those who do
not know so much OF us.
A plain man often looks with envy on
one who has risen to place and power /;
but If he could see all the steps that have
been taken to bring him there, or all the
perplexities that surround him now that
he is there, he would not barter his
present piece of mind for the coveted
preatncss
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
SOLDIERS IN OFFICE.
A Grand Army Committee Request
Their RetemtiOn.

A committee of three representing the
Grand Army of the Republic waited on
President Cleveland and presented the fol-
lowing communication:
HEADQUARTERS DEPT OF Potomac
GRAND ARMY OF REPUBLIC, ,
WASHINGTON, D. c., April s, 1885
The PRESIDENT AND CABINET:
As you are aware the Grand Army of the
Republic is a great civic non-partisan organi-
cation of ex-Union soldiers and sailors, whose
chief public object is the promotion of good
American citizenship-the encouragement of
national patriotism and the practice of fra
ternity and charity. To encourage honor
and purity in public affairs is
one of the high obligations of all its members
In the practice of charity one of the principal
practical methods of caring for our comrades
perhaps the best-is by organized efforts to
secure employment for those who need it
and are competent and worthy All reason
able precautions are taken in this important
matter to avoid improper Endorsements and
recommendations, and no distinction of
sect or party is made. In this city quite
large number of our comrades are
In the employment of the govern
ment. We are naturally solicitous for
their retention in all cases where they per-
form their duties satisfactorily, except in
high political offices. We therefore beg leave
respectfully to present this statement to your
excellency and to invoke in behalf of our
worthy comrades in the government service
that consideration and protection in their
places, where they are enabled to earn liv-
ing for themselves and families which
the spirit of the acts of Congress relating to
ex-solders their widows and orphans and the
grateful sentiments of the people generally
bespeak for them. We have performed this
pleasant duty confidently in their behalf
heretofore upon each change of national ad-
ministration, always meeting with a kind
and just response, and we renew it now with
the same pleasure and confidence and as in
duty bound.
The President gave the committee patient
hearing and expressed himself very strongly
in favor of the object of their visit. The
committee, dispatch says were most favor
ably impress ed with the reception accorded
them by the President and the strong assur-
ances he gave them.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
Bach's BOyhOOd.

Bach had only begun to receive in
struction from his father on the violin
when the latter died, leaving Sebastian
an orphan in his tenth year. The child
now went to live with his brother Johann
Christoph who was an organist at Ohr-
duff He gave Sebastian lessons in sing
ing, and ciavichord playing-the piano
not then having been invented. The
little pupil astonished his master by his
progress, soon knowing his exercises by
heart, and begging for something more
difficult. For some strange reason his
brother always denied this request.
Christoph had manuscript which con-
tanned the works of the celebrated clayi-
chord composers of that day. Sebastian
was not discouraged when his brother
refused to lend him the score. Fired by
his love for music, he managed TO
get the manuscript from the closet in
which it was kept, and, child as he was,
he copied it all. AS he was allowed no
candle, he could only read on moonlight
nights, and it was six months before the
work was finished. When his brother
found the manuscript in his possession,
he was cruel enough to take the child's
precious copy from him.
In 1893, Christoph died, and our
young musician was thrown upon the
world at fourteen, with his own living
to get. Through his beautiful voice he
obtained a position as chorster at St.
Michael's church, Luneberg. This was
great advantage, for, beside his must
cal studies, he received an education.
Bach felt how necessary it is for one who
desires to progress in music to hear the
best masters of his art, and to that end
frequently trudged long distances TO
neighboring cities, often staying after
his money was spent, toiling home
hungry and forlorn, but with the mem.
org Of the music haunting and inspiring
him.-St. \ icholaS.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
What One Tree Can Do.

There is tree in Madagascar of which
the natives make their houses. What Of
that2 Well, it is not anything extra
ordinary, is itl We have several kinds
of trees in this country any one of which
can be used for making houses too.
But then it is principally of the leaves
of this Madagascar tree that the houses
are built, and that is odd. Indeed, be-
fore we have told all about this tree it
will be seen that there are few trees in
the world half so wonderful as it is.
When it is growing it looks like a
gigantic palm leaf fan. The trunk is
bare to the top, from which the cnor-
nous leaves all spring. These leaves do
not branch out in every direction, but
stand up side by side, so that they form
a half circle, and give the fan-likc APP
pearance.
1t is the middle rib of the great leaf
that is used for making walls and parti-
tions Of The ribs are twined together
very much as willow is with us in basket
making. The part of the leaf that is
left after taking the rib out is used for
matching the roof with. OF course such
a house is not very grand one.
The good tree has not done all it can
yet, however Tie native of Madagas-
car likes to have his house carpeted, and
so he applies 20 his tree. lie strips off
the bark in one great piece, stretches it
out beats it with round stones, and
dries it, and, behold thick soft car
pet as wide as four breadths of Brussels
carpet and from twenty to thirty feet
long.
Still the good work of the tree is not
exhausted. There comes long hot and
very dry season every year in that part
of the world, and the wells refuse to
give any water. Then the tree is ready,
and the thankful man goes to it, With
his spear he makes a hole at the base of
one of the great leaves, and out spouts
a stream of fresh, pure, and almost ice
cold water. Each leaf has about quart
of water to yield up, and no matter how
hot or dry the weather, it never fails.
But even yet the good tree has SER
vice to perform. When the dry season
comes around, the houses very naturally
become dry too, and then they take fire
very easily. OF course there are no fire.
engines there, nor any pumps even, and
so a fire might easily spread and burn
down whole village if there were not
always at hand an extinguisher of some
sort. There stands the tree, with its
leaves charged with water, and when fire
occurs the men run and tear off the
leaves, and with them beat the burning
house. The water runs out, and the fire
yields.
There, then, is a tree which gives to
man his house, his carpet, his fountain
of pure water, and his fire-extinguisher.
The botanical name of this friend of man
IS Urania speciosa the common name is
"Traveler's Tree and foolish name
it is, too, for it is more a tree for the
native than for the traveller.
Young People.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
Why Doctors Don't Catch Disease.

"Some men," remarked Captain Hor-
ton, 'can move in the midst of pesti-
lence and miasmata, and never seem any
the worse" GLOW, for instance, do
you doctors defend your fortressW
'I'm glad you asked the question. We
defend the fortress first by using ordi-
nary precautions. We will not, if pos
sible, breathe more infected air than we
can help. We will not be stupidity rash.
Depend upon it, my friend, that when
DR.. Abernethy kicked his foot through
the pane of glass in his patients room
because he couldn't get him to have his
window down, the excellent physician
was thinking as much about his own
safety as that of his patient. Secondly.
physicians know that they must live by
rule when attending cases during pes
thence. The body must be kept up to
the health standard. In times of cpl
demic let every one see to himself, at
tend to every rule OF health, live regu-
larry, and keep the stomach most care
fully in order, and be abstinent There
is no other way of defending the fortress
of life against invisible foes"
This living according to rule said
my friend musingly, els terribly hard
thing to have to do. At least, am
sure most people find it So"
Few people," I replied, "think
of doing anything Of the Sort until actual
danger to life stares them in the face.
Some one else, believe, has made re-
mark similar to this before now, but it
is worthy of being repeated"
"And it is true" added Horton.
have been thinking good deal lately"
"Most people who are laid low do
think" | said.
Il have been thinking" said my friend 4,
"that most of US err by eating more than
is necessary"
GLOW very true that is. Horton Why.
in careful regulation of diet-a diet that
should incline to the abstemious-we
have one of the best defcnces against in
visible foes of all kinds. This is one Of
our posts, and should be held at all risks,
if we care for life at all-and not for life
only, but comfort while we do exist. 1t
is a fact which all should bear in mind
that overeatng not only corrupts the
blood, but destroys nervous Cnergy."-A
Fdmily Doctor, an CdsSeN.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
HEALTH HINTS.

For nose bleed, get plenty of pow.
dered alum up into the nostrils.
For earache take pinch of pepper and
molsten 1t with warm water, place in o
small piece of linen cloth or in cotton,
tie up firmly and place in the ear. 1t
will give immediate relief.
The Medical World says: can excel.
lent local application for the temporary
relief of neuralgia and govt is prepared
by rubbing up together equal parts
of thymol, mcethol, camphor and
choral"
The value of crushed ice as a dressing
for wounds and scalds is a confirmed
fact, The crushed ice is mixed with
fresh lard and made into paste, which
is placed in a thin cambria bag, and laid
upon the burn. AS soon as the mixture
has melted apply new dressing.
DR.. II. NJ. Lawson, of Cuthbert Ca,
who is is described by the editor of the
Southern MedicdL Record as "modest
though worthy practitioner announces a
cure for cancer. 1t consists, as we I'M
derstand, in the heroic use of arsenic
combined later with caustic applications
In one patient suffering from epithelioma
on the left temple, one-fourth of grain
of arsenious acid was given, and grad.
ually increased to three-fourths OF a
grain.
DR.. Elmore Palmer, of Boulder, Col,
says that the climate out there is most
beneficial in uncomplicated cases of
spasmodic asthma, for which it affords
the light air cure" In other
words he thinks the curative effects are
almost wholly due to the mechanical
effects of lessened atmospheric pressure.
Whatever the explanation the fact is
worth recording. lie believes that this
light atmospheric pressure together
with its GOODNESS and dryness makes it a
favorable climate for consumptives in the
earlier stages, but even then the best re-
suits are only to be obtained by camp
ing out during six months of the
twelve
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
RIEL'S REBELLION.
Indians Raiding the Settlements
The Fight at Duck Lake.

Late adviceS from the seat of war at Mani
toba state that the Indians who have joined
Rie's half -breed rebels are raiding the north
west settlements, killing and plundering the
inhabitants. The town of Battleford was
railedby the Indians of the reservation, the
stores and private houses plundered, and the
people driven for shelter to the fortified bar
racks
An eyewitness of the first fight at Duck
Lake says that the engagement was of short
duration n, but very violent After an exchange
of shots the police and volunteers received
orders from jor Crozier to retreat, taking
with them the dead and wounded officers Of
the mounted police, but leaving on the field
thirteen volunteers dead. The half-breeds
captured two teams of horses and two sleighs
and two of their cannon. The men under
Crozier-that is the mounted police and vol
unteers from Prince Albert-numbered 49,
The half-breeds numbered POO and were all
mounted The rebels had forty men killed,
and Crozier's force had fifteen killed and sew
eral wounded,
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17
GENERAL KOMAROFF.
The Russian Commander Explains
why He Attacked the Afghnns.

General Komaroff, the Russian command
er in the attack upon the Afghans at Penj-
deb, has explained the reasons for his action
in the following telegram:
con March y our deta chment approached
Dashkepri When near the bridge we saw an
ntrenchment occupied by Afghans. In order
TO avoid conflict | stationed my troops five
versts IA little over three niles from the AT
CHAN position. Negotiations with Captain
Hate IA member of Sir Peter Lumsden's force)
began on March 26. When the Afghans
became convinced that we had no intention
Of attacking them they daily drew nearer
20 our camp. On March 81 they dispatched
against company of ours COW
ering accommodating party three
companies with gun and some cav.
airy. Next day, their audacity and
arrogance incr aa>ing, they occupied high
and commanding position on the left flank
Of our camp, made intrenchments, and placed
a cavalry post in the rear of our line and a
picket within gunshot of our fort. On March
q | sent the Afghan commander an energetic
summons to evacuate the left bank of the
kushk and the left bank of the Murghab rs
far as the mouth of the kushk. He replied
that acting on the advice of the
English he would not retire beyond the
kushk. | then sent him a private letter
couChed in amicable terms. On March 30. in
order to support my demand, marched with
my detachment against the Afghan position,
still expecting pacific issue; but fire rom
the Afghan artillery and an attack of their
cavalry compelled me to accept combat"
The Russian minister of war has sent a
congratulatory message to General Komarof
and has directed him to thank the troops, in
the name of the car, and to announce to
them that all who took part in the battle will
be rewarded according to their rank.