The Nevada picayune., 1885-01-15
HUM c R Q US.

! CS,' EdIu tue ucaCon, our heavenly father knows all our ill. most thoughts" Then" replied Fogg, "Hc must be possessed of a deal of worthless information"
 A congressman shouted in his speech We must return 10 the food of our fathers. And what was it9 ask.n A deep voice across the hall replied: This tleSn
 A young married man gazed at his mother-in-law's two trunks m the hall, and sadly remarked : "She has brought her clothes to visit, would that she had brought her visit to a close"
 "Thc longer person is in eat inc the more pleasure he will de- rive from it,o says a writer, That's where the six footer with 3 neck like a girdtfe's, has the advantage of the ordinary thick set citizen.
 An old negro woman, praying for a certain slandcrer, said: "Oh, Lord, won't you be kind enough to take de door of his mouth off, and when you pat it on again just hang it on the e0srtl hinges ofpeace on earth and good will to men,"
 A young lady who was too sick to wash the supper dishes recover ed sufficiently fifteen minutes after her mother had performed the job, to play croquet and ''sit up" with a yoang man until midnight. What delicate creatures American girls are, any how.-Traveler's Maga- zine.
 "Say. una. l seen nigger put I eggs in his mouth all at once,o said Johnny QuarIe as he came from his suppei. "Humph, that's nothing; your father pnt that butch CT shop and a horse and wagon in to his,' tartly replied Mrs. Quarle. Whisky was the ruination of the old man. Brooklyn Times.
 "I wonder" snarled Romeo, eff we shall know each other in heay- on. "I would remember you of course," replied Juliet, with em- phasis; but, of course, l couldn [ know you without meeting you.' And a period of silence as long as a centennial poem, crept into the room.
 "I noticc,r said regular GUS, toner to the baker, "tnGt your bread is very light.o "Ah, thank you. appreciate the compliment from one so well qualified toiudge" q shoul2 say 1 am qualified to judge. I've got a set of scales at home, and l know that your bread doesn't weigh more than nine oun. ccs to the pound loaf"
 You may talk as much as you please" remarked the irrascible man; but let me tell you that 1 consider your arguments es well as yourself, beneath my notice. l don't give yoa so much as even a thought" q hope not" was the response; "I wouldn't have you bankrupt yourself on my account" Boston Transcript.
 "Wife, l wish you could make pies that would taste as good as my mothers used te" "Wen, my dear, you run out and bring in pailful of water and a hodful of coal and an armful of wood, just as you us. ed to for your mother, and maybe you will like my pies as wcll.' He concluded tbe pies would do just as they were - Boston Post.
 "Therc's something l want you to read" said Fogg, laying down a letter. ''lt's from my wife. But don't criticise the orthography, please. Fact is, Mrs. F. was a chool teacher for number of years, and therefore she never learned to spell. It wasn't necessary, you know. She always had tho spell ing book when she was hearing a class. But it comes rather awk- ward for her now, when she comes 10 write a letter. .-Fx.
 -----------------~---.~
 A half dazedlooking girl stop ped at the Post Office and called out:
 "Anything for the Murpheys."