The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-12-13
SETTLING THE TARIFF.
A FivaciOus Young Lady Tells the
President How to do it.

a vivacious young lady from centra
New York, who was visiting Secretary
Manning and his wife, called at thu
White House with them one evening
and it so happened that in the division
of talk which occur in company. Mr.
Cleveland fell to the lot of the New
York girl. She at once set to work to
amuse him after the usual feminine
fashion, and succeeded for a while.
After quarter of an hour, symptoms
of WEAKNESS becoming manifest in the
face of the President, she hesitated, BIT
not long enough to escape. She merely
stopped to change the subject of con-
versation, which had been on social
topics. to something that she thought
would be more interesting. And what
do you think the innocent creature hit
upon? Nothing less than the tariff.
20, Mr.. Cleveland" said she, "do tell
me about that delightful tariff question.
/ am just diving to know all about 1t. p"
THE tariff" exclaimed the President,
blankly. "All about the tariff! Why
Miss, it would occupy me till Con-
gress meets to go over this matter.
Eyes, but dom t want to hear about all
those tiresome ad valorem things and
raw material and pig iron and-that. |
only want to know why the great states
men differ so much on the question. "
Here the President cast an appealing
glance at Mr.. Manning, who had turned
his head quickly on hearing the word
tariff in a sweet feminine voice. The
Secretary of the treasury only smiled
maliciously, however, and nodded en-
couragingly to the victim. Now, l
can't understand why they won't agree
in the matter" continued this bright
girl. at seems so simple. Some favor
( zee trade because it would make every
thing cheaper for the people, and others
iavor a protective tariff because it keeps
wages high. Now, / think we ought to
have q that would make things cheaper
and raise wages higher, too, That's
what I told papa when we were talking
about the matter last week. Wasn't l
right2" and the fair face hushed In ex-
pectant of approval. Perfectly rlght,."
4 id the President with deep solemni-
". THAT is just the kind OF tarlff
fiat Legislators have been trying to con-
strnct FOR centuries" Then, why
don't they do it?" asked the eager
ouestioner with heightened interest.
hIt would be so nice if everybody were
prosperous and there were no more sui
tering. Doesn't all the trouble arise
from the quarrels between those men
who are always talking about horizon
tai reduction and those tiresome Things
in the newspapers 2" The President
gazed appea1lngly once more at the
Secretary, but receiving only smile
| which betokened immense enjoyment OF
the scene, he answered feebly Yes.
the leaders of the parties are somewhat
to blame because they can't agree Il
knew it." was the triumphant reply.
"They Ielve the poor people suffering
rather than give into each other: | do
not think Mr.. Morrison and Mr. Ran.
dali and those men that make the tarlh
bills have bit of feeling, and II were
PRESIDENT I would remove them from
Office immediately with pretty
show of indignant anger. Iney GER
tally must go. replied the PRESIDENT IL
sepulchral tones and with such pitt
fui look at Mr.. Manning that the latter
could no longer resist. Joining IN the
conversation, he soon engaged the
Young lady's attention, so as 70 allow
the sufferer to turn 10 Mrs. Hoyt, which
! he did with long-drawn sign Oh rellet'
First Elder Eat the kirk, 'skailin', ~
| 80, haor nOr,.ro1 More Cn0rIpf in