New-York tribune., 1885-03-15
THE TALK or THE DAY.

THE TALK OF THE DAY.
An Indiana woman has applied the President for the
post Office of the in which she lives. In personal
letter accompanying tho application she says " am an
original rebel Democrat. l was REBEL like you were,
during the war; and am a rebel STILL" IL quite
evident that she has got the President mixed up with
some OF the members of his Cabinet But as Mr. Toots
would say. It's OF no consequence"
Now that the aliteratve Burchard has been retired
from tho ministry with honorary salary OF $500
year, just the to take consulship In some OBJ
scure and quarter from the President whom ne
helped to elect The obscure and remote the
better.
II was a Boston newsboy who startled a carfull OF
people by saying that the man who had bet $1,000 that
cleveland would see Washington awe was likely
a~G 10 VIII ms rsDed Because Washington died too long
ago. Waterbury American.
The oaect OF African colonization is being felt in the
wild animal trade The prices are much lower now
A Paris critic complained that Sarah Bernhardt In
"Theodora" wore dark emerald earrings, because, he
maintained no such known In the Byzantine
ueriod This recalls the criticism OF farmer on
Dubufes picture OF Adam aud Eve" exhibited here
some time ago. Tho figures he found no fault with but
the apple not suit him at ALL Why he ansrily
protested thar warn't sech apples In them days
rnats new variety OF pippin introduced myself not
three years ago.
stage was upset in Applegate Creek, in southern
Oregon the other day by rush Of salmon The horses
The salmon crowded tho from bank to bank and the
school mile long.-lButte tMontana Inter
Mountain.
Alta country suuday-school recently custom
introduced recurring chi write down portions of
the hymns they mad been learning It docs not seem to
have produced satisfactory results, Judging from some
specimens which passed around among the Older
members examination. His thorns compose so rich
q crown" was rendered, Hawthornes compose SO rich
AZ crown" Hast all our fathers led" came out, Has
load nd he OF
which could not traced, was, lie gave some brass
before he burst Another plan will be introduced at
dozen OF the best newspapers in this State are une-
quvocal advocates Of the whipping post and IL u proba
bic that members OF the next Legislature will make
themselves heard IN the same direction- Louisville
Commercial.
young couple who went to Methodist church in
selby England be married found to their great dis
appointment ceremony could not be performed
until two days afterward owing to tho neglect OF the
Registrar in not forwarding the required notice In time
The young couple had taken and furnished house. the
wedding breakfast prepared, and oil their friends,
many OF whom had come long distances, were present
The modification increased when, after two days
the and the bridesmaids attended the chapel
and the bridegroom failed to appear. When the minister
sympathzng with the young drove to the resi-
dence OF the young man. he found that he had
disappeared leaving word that he had changed his
mind and would not marry
There's a music now heard In the morning
As sweet the tones of hdde,
'Tis the melody made by the nap-jacks
As they szzlo and sing In the grlddle
And ,tisnow that the boarding houses missus,
The hearts OF her boarders To chirrup,
Brings out the light-colored mOlasses
And serves IL rs pure maple syrup
And tho boarders, coniidng and trustful,
Partnkc of the saccharine staple
With quite much relish and Gusto
As II 'twere the sap OF the maple.
-(Boston Courier.
"Oh mover borrow trouble,
Ny friend whercer you go
For life is but a bubble
And 1t amt worth while, you know"
"Ah we'll I'll let tomorrow
Take OF itself, | VOW.
Aud the only thing I'll borrow
Is "a dollar from you n0w.' - ~
II the members of the Twilight Club, who talk iso
,nteleently about training girls want TO put their
knowledge TO practical they have ample opportunity
TO do So female athletic club was ror"eo IN ma
not long and 1t Is In serious heea o' capDc
,ors VIM can advise proper exercises TO expand thc
,,r,s, muscles without injury to their exquisite forms.
See the mani
The man Is on the renee
In n dnSs not see the dog but the dog sees him.
| ~ ~. ma man thinks he can steal a squash.
The dog thinks not
The dog lies low.
| THE man has got the squash.
Hear him cryl How he runs! 40,
lie gone but he has left parts OF h with 'ne
dog
| Tho dog smiles. -
| Poor mani Good dog. -lMnneapolisiTribune.
| An Ohio paper thus enumeratss some OF the crimes
and casualties Of the rollerskatng rink NewLs'
bon young lady stole her poor old grandmothers false
teeth and pawned thcm to raise money to attend the
skating rink Two Philadelphia girls stole Gro OK
OF lard from their cellar to pay their fares to the rink
Two Uhrichsvie girls bought coffee upon the credit OF
the old folks afterward sold the same, and purchased
| tickets to tho rink"
MANY old soldiers IL they examine their papers, VIII
find heavy black signature which reads eltner Drake
DE Kay" or Duck DecOy. as some OF the boys wore
wont to call him. since the war; tho ysung man whoso
sgnauro became probably the bsstknow OF any IN tne
| army Through his indOrsoment OF war department
papers has ups and downs of the private stzen
an tho downs to have bson IN tho nUorty !ot
recently his friends took him to the Asylum for the In
sane nt Boomingdae, hoping that care would restore
| his Unbalanced mind To tho health which business
troubles and an wound received In the Wilderness
have badly shaken 10 the regret ot great NUMBER oi
| friends Advertiser.