Savannah morning news., 1885-01-25
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE difference between home and board
ing house is that at one they have pillow
shams and at the other they have sham pill
lows.-CiRciRndti Merchant TrdUeller.
..swEET little maid with the sweet blue eye,
Why art thou dancing so much and so highW
Sauchy nodding her shapely head,
Il m WhoopIng it up until Lent" she said.
-BUrdetts.
Mr.. B.-''Mydear, here's pretty aphorlsm
sleep is merely an armistice ~ the battle of
life" Mrs. B.-"Itisn' correct in your case -
'Why not, my dear, ~ 'YOu sno 81 loudly
when you are asleep that one would think the
battle was raging the hercest."
A FOPPIsH young fellow named McGraw
With his girl rolled around with ecLdt:
They went faster and faster
TIL there was disaster,
And-a veil Ger the scene we'd best draw.
-N0rriStO1cn Herald.
WE notice that the new code physicians
won vict 0ry at the Academy of Medicine in
New York Thursday night by electing a full
ticket. We don't know the code. but presume
1t is TO put ''Dr" after the patients name and
collect OF the administratOr.-LOaoeH Courier.
AT a Washington masquerade one lady per-
sonated the Washington monument. 1t is
supposed her costume "came high" but if her
husband is as long paying for it as the monu-
ment was IN building, the dealer who fur
nlshed the dress has our sympathy.-NorFis-
tOlGn Herald.
THEY reproa h an aged millionaire with his
miserly practices. "Here you are, wealthy
man, and yet you put out your ash barrel
every day with your own hands 10 save a few
miserable sous!" You are right; IL is hardly
the thing for man in my position to do.
Hereafter II make my wife do it.'-FrOD, the
French.
ODE TO THE BELL
Farewell,
Old Bell,
Since you must 90
Down to y. o.!
Return may you
Unto our view
p. d. q. philadelphia Record.
DEADwOOD, DAK., husband published
this notice: MY wife Sarah, has Shot my
rancho, When l didn't Doc a thing Too her
an 1 want it distinctly Understood that any
Man That takes hur in and keers for hur on
my account will get himself pumped so Full
of lead that some tenderfoOt win locate him
for a Mineral Clame. A word To the wise is
sufficient on orter work on FOOLS"
MRS. DE BLANk-"There now, John, just
read that and maybe you will throw away
that hOrrid cigarr' Mr.. de Blank-"Read
what?" why, this in the paper. A mem
Der of the recent Woman's Congress says 1T
is nice thing for man to keep his mouth fit
to be kissed" "Humph! That may all be;
but it is also nice thing for a woman to keep
her mouth in the right position to be kissed"
The right position" "Yes, shut."-PAiId-
deLphiG Call.
MRS. DE POULTICE-"Oh, I'm a firm be-
lever in homeopathy and never think of en-
ploying oldschOol physicians any more"
Mrs. de Pinks-"Weli L can't say that 1 en-
tirely agree with you" "But l thought you
believed in it, because you told me you had a
homeopathic physician for your children"
Eyes; it seems to work well with children,
but still don't place much confidence in 1t.
When poor Fido was sick | sent for an allo-
path. h.'-PhiIGdeLDhiG CAL.
JAN. 1.-"No, thanks; I've sworn of " JAN
2.-"1 ou really must excuse me; I've sworn
off, you know. Well, a little soda, then"
Jan. 3.-"Put dash of Angostura IN that
soda, will you?' Jan. 4.-''They say claret's
as harmless as water. I'll try little claret
barkeep.' Jan. Jim sick. Eve got a
sort OF a collie. Gimme some Jamaica ginger
in glass. Jut a little brandy in it to Kill the
taste" Jan. 6.-"Gimme some whisky: I've
been taking qninine." Jan. 7.-"Whoop!
gain"-PiltS6ur0 ChrOnicle.
He was long and lank and bony,
And was also somewhat tony;
But carelessly tried
Some ro lers to ride
He thought twas a Texas pony.
A girl whose name Wen not mention.
Now needs the doctors attention
She sat down so quick
1t made her feel sick
A case of N apprehension.
CentTdJtd Kansas Journal.