Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-11-26
PITH AND POINT.


The man who knows how it is him
self is graduate from the school Of ex-
perience. Barriers Gazette.
Every man is fond of striking the
nail on the head; but when it happens
to be his finger-nail, his enthusiasm be-
comes wild and incoherent.
A new pill, made of equal parts of
fun and fresh air, and taken with glass
of water, three times day, is said to be
sure remedy for melancholy.
When Nine. Chaverais, of France,
eloped with Francois Say, professional
punster remarked that he was not sur
prised, as every woman must have her
say.
When man can only just make a
living for himself and those dependent
on him he can not sustain perpetual
fear at the same time.-SdH Lake Taib-
ua1e.
"A Chinaman has published book,
in which he says: woman does not re-
quire study to make herself perfect-she
is born perfect" The Chinese can stay.
-Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph.
-s.When | wath little boy" lisped
very stupid society man to young
lady, ''all my ideath in life were then
tered on being a clown" sWell, there
is at least one case of gratified ambi-
tion," was the reply.-N Y Mail.
"A Washington belle has created
something of sensation in social circles
by marrying a policeman. A policeman
may make quite as good Il husband as a
Congressman, but his wife won't be
able to find him when she wants him
Nobody can.-NorristoU, Herald.
-Pompano-.'Whyd do you work SO
until night Bagley-"I know 1 do,
million" Pompano-ssWell, there's
much prefer to live worth half mil
lion. "-Philadelo1tia Call.
tive dreadful headache, Brom-
ley. 1t was that crescendo outburst of
Miss Fenton. I'll never offer to turn
the music for her again '.Why didn't
you beat retreat, Mr. Darringer?"
30, that wouldn't have been polite, YOU
know" ''Well, but you are here in the
piano in the parlor'' Eyes; / watched
my opportunity and slipped out between
the bars. Chicago Tribune.
Here is good outline for drama
of the modern French type. Wife
elopes. Caught. Locked up. Hus-
band interviews her. She tries to hang
herself. Cut down. Both then try it;
she inside the bars; he outside. They
nearly succeed; but are resuscitated.
They conclude that dying by hanging,
either separately or together, isn't pleas
ant business, and resolve to try connu-
bal partnership again.-Bu0alo Er-
press.
De Camera, who is an amateur
photographer: REALLY, Miss Evcline,
should SO delight to try you by the
new dry-plate process" Miss Eveline,
who has healthy appetite: ''Why, Mr..
De Camera, it would do you no good.
No, indeed. no dry plate for me. I'm
always awfully hungry, you know"
''But you don't comprehend. would
like to take YOU ASK papar'
Tableau. He had to take her, appetite
and Pittsburgh Chronicle.
-s.Something wonderful is sure to
happen on this earth before long sud-
denly remarked Harlem man. looking
up from his newspaper. ''Why, John,
you don't mean it," said his wife in
tone of astonishment. s. the world
coming to an cnd?'' don't know, I'm
sure; but it looks like it. This paper
says there is a plumber in the Philadel-
phia Almshouse' ..Oh! is that ALP"
said the little woman, with sigh of re-
lief Il thought perhaps some hard
hearted husband had given his wife
money without her asking for it.''-N.
Y. Journal.
No." said Kentuckian in re-
Spouse to question, II never actually
fought Il duel, but I came very near it
once Tell us about it, Colonel,
said bfeathless listener. ''It was some
years ago, when duels were much more
common than they are now, when a mans
honor was sacred thing and to be de-
Tended at any cost. l received chal-
lenge from a gentleman who claimed
that had insulted him, stating that l
must either make full apology or
fight. l, being the challenged party,
had the choice of weapons, of course. -
'sAnd YOU chose--'' Il chose to
apologize. That's the nearest / ever
came to fightin' duel, concluded the
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