The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-12-25

| WAL, the way things was runnin' lis broke
poor Widder Wigs all up, an SEEM that tn
want no use o her pesterin' 'roun' the patch
no more, she Jls' turned in an drawed her last
breath an left Of Topmuck u lone lorn wid'-
rer wunst again. Ez tn want no will ez any,
body know'd on, an tn wilder hadn't no
blood relations, b'gosh Balaam and JIMMY lis
sot right down in a butter tub, so to speak.
lur all O the widder's property was ther'n,
sucker a p'gtall gresser, an consistently
from that time on Betsey Fassett foun' the
sleddln' a heap rougher thin ever
Bout this time Beverly G. Fredenbaugh
dropped down in the Holler an bought hoop
poe iarm he were strappin' young Teller
an want long fore it got missed round that
ne PAD cash for his hoop-pole tract. and had
roll o bills, bgosh, ez tn must ha' ben forty
or nifty dollars in. Fust thing folks know'd
oil Balaam had the young Teller to his house
TO dinner. an jimmy got sweeter'n a 'lasses
stick on him. Then everybody noticed ez he
were keepin up pooty regular streak O. visit
In at Balaam's, an it looked ez if Jimmy had
shared him, sartin' ez flint. Bimeby, folks
didn't hev no doubt but it, fur OF Topmuck
built a new log house and moved inter it, an
sol the old un to Beverly G., long wi some o.
the Mldder Wiggs things ez were in it.
'Ihll be weddin' match at the Widder
sorry for Beverly G.
''Wall, the night afore Christmas Eve. that
winter, the hull O. Big Camp Holler were shuck
up wuss'n an 'arthquake by the news that little
Betsey Fassett had ben druv outn the house
by OIL Iopmuck an jimmy, without no more
warnin, b'gosh, than a hornet gives We wen
ne backs up agin' We an dumps his load o.
pizen 'twixt yer eyes. An tn were sumpin'
bout Beverly G. Gredenbaugh being mixed up
in the flight an folks went TO work to git the
head an tail o the business. 1t didn't take
more'n coon's ase to dig it out.
1t pears that 'arly in the evenin' Beverly
had dropped in at OF Balaam's. AFTER talkn'
a spell about hog KILN, an the right time o.
the moon to do it in, an gossipin' little bout
the beetin' the brindle steer, Beverly had
switched off an said:
"'Wall, Mr.. Topmuck,' said he, now, ez
I've got house, I'm agointer git me wife to
put inter it, said he.
Gwen he had said this, jimmy she simpered
an snickered, an put her ham up an said =
80 O-h-h Beverly Co.
"Then the Of man had Clipped in.
i" Il We ben spectin' this h'ver fur some time'
said he, but it comes ruther suddint fur all
that, said he. But ye kin hev her, Beverly
said he. She'll make We wife ez won't let
nothin go to waste, kin tell We, jimmy will.
"Then Beverly G. had riz up an said:
-" But hoP on, Balaam! said he, an he call
ed the OF man Balaam. Hol' onr said he
s'Tant Jimmy; it's Betsey Fassett Me an
Betsey's gointer hitch, comm Christmas Eve,'
said he.
''Boys, s'pect tn were a torable lively
circus up at Balaam Topmuck's fur few
minutes that night. Beverly were 'bleeged to
set Baaam out in the snow through the winder
to cool him down, an wen Betsey Fassett left
the house she tuck wi her more hair thin
b'longed to her. an it were jist the color o
Jlnny's.
''Wall, tn were quite party from the Hol-
lar gethered at Beverly G.'s Christmas Eve to
see the weddin'. Ye member, boys, how in
the oil times ii tn were Teller roun' the clear
ms ez fell inter the habit O helpin' hisself to
his nelghbor's wood pile, an the neighbor got
to mlssin' his wood, it were more'n likely that
the neighbord find ont who were takin' it by
Jst borin' holes in some nice big sticks, film
EN- wi powder, pluggin' EN-, up ag'in, an
an then layln' EN- whar the feller'd be sure to
git 'em. Ii tn were any one roun' the peel
ms ez didn't hev no roof on his cabin mex
mornin, or were short winder or two, or had
his kitchen tixin's mixed up roun' the floor,
the heft O. evidence were that he Were the fell
Ter, bgosh, that the neighber were lookin' fur.
Course we all member that. WALL OIL Balaam
want to Beverly G.'s weddin' an no more
were jimmy but jist bout the time the domi-
ME were hookin' Beverly an Betsey together
OF Balaam sneaked down to Beverly wood
pile an played the oil time trick o loadin' the
back logs wi powder. He loaded the ones ez
they'd be moren likely TO use through the ev-
enin', and then sneaked back agin.
"'Ill give 'em blowout they haint count
.'The dominic had got through with the job.
an ev'rybody had smacked the bride till they'd
almost raised a blister, an the party had set
tied down to gnashin inter the passin's which
were bang up. when Beverly went out and
brung in fresh log an slapped it on the fire.
Everybody were havin' bully time, wen
Bang went the new log like cannon, and the
next second 'twere 'scatterin' of itself 'roun'
the room uncommon permlsc'us. One lorable
good sized chip pIunked inter little Billy COTS
bread basket an doubled him up like hoss-
shoe. Another chunk ED give the car ner
job If it'd a met anybody on its way tore
'crosst the room an landed agin poor Widder
Wiggs's OF clock, eZ had stood thar agin the
wall fur fifty year an better, an knocked it
pizzle-eend lizards quicker'n a flash O. heat
lghtnin'. Tn were heap O screaming an
lhollerin fur minute or so, an then 1t como
to all of 'em what were the muss, an everybody
know'd who had more'n likely loaded the log.
Three or four o. the felers was fur postponin'
furder perceedn's till they went up an give
oil Balasm dressin' out, but jis' then the
dominic picked up paper ez had tumbled
from ahiud the clock, an thar, b'gosh, he held
ez regular an bindin' ez mar'ge 'stif'kit leav-
in ev'ry durn inch o Ian an passed. o worldly
goods eZ were hern to little Betsey Fassett
II amt no use o tellin' ye, s'pose, that tn
were few tears shed, an heap o. huggin'
did, an s'picion o some whoopin' an hollerin'
in an aroun' that cabin, b'gosh, fur some
leeto spell.
'Wall, mex day OF Balaam an jimmy were
sarved wi notice to quit the Wilder Wiggs's
plantation i'll short order, an if the OF sim r
didn't hev the cheek to ask Beverly g. to pay
him hundred dollars fur loadin' the log that
busted an onkivered the widder's will, We kin
knife me I. Bat he didn't get it, sca'cely, an
the last we ever heerd why, o'ooul Sc Shurf,
o'course Same as afore. landlord. Why, I'd
cut her short long ago If somebody'd unly said
sumpin'! Make it hot an sweet, landlord!
That's the ticket! Wall, boys, myers merry
Christmas for all on us! Hyer's down wi all
Topmucks, durn 'em. An may we never hev
no wuss luck, bgoshtlmighty. than Beverly
G. an little Betsey Fassett did"