The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-30
GLORY.
a Job Lot OF the Article for Sale by an
Alleged Humorist.

a Job Lot OF the Article for Sale by an
Alleged Humorist.
Did you ever look forward to some
great end you hoped to accomplish and
feel good from the soles of your boots to
the crown of your hatin thinking about
it? When I was boy, the school
master was the greatest man in Chris
tendon, in my estimation. | can re-
member how, when the Christening rod
was laid upon me, | wished | might one
day become a pedagogue, although ]
did not call it by that name.
A few years later found myself &C.
cupying that enviable position in life.
found no pleasure in tlogging the little
fellows, and l was afraid of those much
larger grown, fogging whom would
have given me much pleasure had it not
been for an underlined fear that trouble
might result and perhaps the blood OF
an adult innocent be she'd / never
was quite sure who might be the shedee,
so, to avoid accidents, | endeaVored to
inculcate peace.
Later, got hold of copy of Black
stone and my mind began to follow the
bent of the law. My highest ambition
was to stand at the bar of justice and
win the plaudits of the multitude
by my expatiations on Hale, Chitty,
Greenleaf, Cooley, billiard, and
other celebrated humorists of that
class. Three years later, l stood With
my hand on my heart and my mind
running riot among precedents, trying
to convince justice of the peace that .
client of mine was innocent of any
wrongful intent in riding horse be-
longing to neighbor to St. Louis, and
then and there selling him for half his
value. maintained that he sold the
horse while laboring under fit of tenn
porary insanity, and that since recover
ing his mental equipoise he regretted
the act very much, and as a proof OF
his good faith in that behalf, now stood
ready to pay over all the money he re.
ceived for the animal. The justice was
was very unreasonable and strong
minded old skinfint, however, and
bound my client over to court in the
penal sum of $1,000. AS a result,
was obliged to try my case in higher
court, and through some of my mad
vertences he got into the peniten
tiary for eleven years. Soon af
forwards, | received a handsomely
engrossed series of resolutions from the
anti-Horse Thief Association, thanking
me kindly for my eminent service in be.
half of the principles it advocated. AS
/ had exerted myself considerably to gel
the thief out of the scrape, failed to
properly appreciate the honor done me
and moved to another town, where
soon had good practice and won more
fame than | knew what to do with By
dint of persistent effort lied myself
into respectable income, but the hon.
ors of legal triumph palled upon nv
appetite, and my soul went out into the
| great pasture of literature and browsed
| there for a time. I found it uphill
| work. Publishers and editors We're not
particularly complimentary to me, and
my manuscripts came back to me to
roost. The ignorance and want of ap.
| probation of literary people made me
mad, and | started paper to raise the
standard of literary work. The stand.
ard arose rapidly for time, but one
| day discovered that my axle-grease was
exhausted, and another newspaper
corpse lay cold and still in the literary
bone-yard. then came to the conclu.
sion that it might be good idea to raise
my own standard of ability little, and
went to work like hired man at din.
ner The fancy press notices which had
been accorded me seemed ironical in
the extreme as | progressed. One pa
| per had persistently praised me- and
the more learned the more l knew its
editor had been poking fun at me.
Time rolled on and so did |. To-day
find that some half dozen people out
side my native village have heard OF
me, and know l am getting there. II
can keep up the same stroke until the
first Sunday in the month after Gabriel
blows his fog horn. perhaps the fame
for which l so hungered in my younger
days will be sung from shore to shore:
but at present fame is a little too unsub-
stantial an article of diet to cover the
numerous drains upon my system, and
| am yearning for dollars.
If there is any young man who thirsts
for glory-I have reason to believe there
is one somewhere shall be pleased to
| exchange a good sized chunk of it for a
| sack of flour, if he will send his name
and address with the flour to my resi-
denee. have a pretty well selected
stock of well-seasoned glory on hand,
and shall be pleased to correspond with
parties who would like to buy it in Job
lots.-F. E. HuddLe, in N. Y. Mercury.