St. Landry democrat., 1885-05-30
"TRUST."
A Comedy Translated from the Russian by
George II. Sims.

A Comedy Translated from the Russian by
George II. Sims.
London Referee1
Scene 1-St. Petersburg. (Ihe Gear dis"
couered plotting time he eeas. MI
itary and diplomatic coRspirators grouped
around him.
Czar-The news from Afghanistan is de"
licious. Ha! ha! think we've caught the
British weasel asleep.
Military Conspirator = 1t is splendid
coup, sire; but there ought to have been
more slaughter.
Diplomatic Conspirator-We must pre-"
tend, of course, that it was all a mistake,
and that we are still anxious for peace.
Czar-C Certainly. My dear boys, if you
can only keep on humbugging the British
Government, India will be ours before the
negotiations for peace are concluded. Just
wire to Gladstone that we trust this I'M
happy incident will in no way interfere
with the present negotiations. (They
wire.)
Scene 2-Dover. (The Russian army dis
covered landing. They take possession of
the t0aCn.)
Czar-Dover is ours! While we are ne
gotiating with the Government we have
got as far as this. Now attack the gar
rison
Garrison-Here! What are you doing?
Czar-Nothing; it is only an unhappy
incident
Garrison-But we are not at war with
you? You are not expected here. We are
unprepared to receive you.
Czar-Quite SO! 1t is little error of
Judgment on the part of our Generals, but,
as we are here, Pm afraid we must
slaughter you. Garrison is slaughtered
after a desperate reSistance.)
Enter iNr. Gladstone, ont Of 6reath.)
Gladstone-Here, hold hard! What the
dickens you doing?
Czar-Ah! How dye do? Pm very sorry
there's been mistake. We've captured.
Dover and killed the garrison, but trust
thu incident will not interfere with the
continuance of our peaceful negotiations.
Gladstone (hesitatingly)-W TELLER
don't know. l must go back and tell
Parliament. If you're not careful, you
know, you'll go too far, and we shall have
to declare war with you.
Czar-I hope not Things are going on
SO pleasantly at present, / much prefer
them left as they are.
Scene 3-London. Triumphant entry Of
the Russian army.
Czar-Forward, my brave troops! The
city is unprepared. Sack it, and hoist the
Russian standard on Buckingham Palace.
Ills Imperial Mdjesty's directions are
0beyed.)
Offensive have fought like brave
men, but we are conquered. We did not
expect the Russians here. We understood
we were not at war with them yet. (PaRic
on the Stock Exchanged
Enter Mr. Gladstone, more Out Of breath
than ever.)
Gladstone-This is too bad. Upon my
word, will not answer for the conse.
quences. (Angrily)--I thought we were
still negotiating.
Czar-So we are, dear boy, and trust
this unhappy incident will in no way in
terfere with the continuance of negotia-
tions. For the present, my dear Glad
stone, you will be my guest. Seize him!
Guards seize Mr.. Gladstone.)
Gladstone protest! This is decidedly
an act of war.
Czar-War, dear boy! Nonsense! Moth
ing is further from our thoughts. / am
simply going to send you to Siberia, and
put you down mine. think the solitude
viii be agreeable to you, and, uninter-
rupted by the cIarnor of rival politicians,
you will be enabled to devote the re-
mainder of your days 10 a continuance of
those negotiations which / trust nothing
viii interrupt.