The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-03-27
Mixes Signs.
Newport, R. l., Jan. 8.

Mikes Signs.
The writer heard the following story
a few evenings since. To him it was
very amusing, as well as a good illus.
tration of the aptness of different
minds to misconstrue the same facts in
quite opposite directions.
Some time ago learned Frenchman
became very enthusiastic on the sub
iect of a universal language for the
human race. After much thought and
theorizing on the subject he came TO
the conclusion that the only language
that could be universal at the present
day must be a language OF signs.
Being deeply impressed with the I'M
portance of this language to humanity,
he determined to travel from country
to country and teach it in all their col
leges and universities.
As it happened, the first country he
reached in his travels was Ireland, and
the first institution he went to was the
University of Dublin.
He called upon the president of the
university, and after some c%onversa-
ton with him asked him if he had a
professor of signs in his university.
Now there was no professor of signs in
the university, but the president, not
wishing to be behind the learned
~Frenchman, told him that they had
one. The Frenchman asked to be in
troduced to him. The president MAS
taken aback at this, but told him that
he could not see the professor that day,
but if he would call the next day at
the same hour he would introduce
him,
After the Frenchman had gone, the
president called his professors to-
gether and told them the fix he was in,
and told them that one of them must
play the part of professor of signs next
day. They all demurred and objected
to this, being afraid that they might
be caught by the Frenchman.
As none of them was willing to play
the part, they at last decided to train
Mike, the chore-man, for it. Mike
had lost an eye and was very sensi-
tive about it, thinking that people
were constantly noticing it and making
illusions to it.
Mike was consulted, and consented
to play the part, providing that the
Frenchman should not refer to his de-
feet.
The next day the president and pro.
fessors dressed Mike up in a good suit
of clothes, took himto a recitation-room,
seated him alone on the platform, and
then retired, for the Ffenehman was
to see him alone. Before they left him
they told him what to do, and that he
must not speak.
He replied, "Sure I'll not. if he seq
nothin' about me oye."
At the appointed time the French.
man called, and he was ushered into
the s.recitation-room of tae professor
of signs The president and profess
sors waited in an adjoining room anx-
iously for the result. In a short time
the Frenchman came back to them, APP
parently much pleased.
How did you like u professor OF
signsP" inquired the president.
VERY much indeed. / congratu.
late you on your able professor. i am
more than ever convinced that the Ian.
guage of signs is to be the universal
language. When / went into the room
/ held up one finger, meaning there is
one God. He understood mi at once,
and held up two fingers, meaning
Father and Son. / then held up three
fingers, meaning there are three per-
sons in the Trinity. He replied by
doubling up his hand, meaning, And
these three are one. then withdrew.
1t is wonderful. / am delighted.
After the Frenchman had gone, the
president and professors sent in haste
for Mike, for though they we're pleased
ut having gotten out of the dilemma,
they we're very anxious to hear Mikes
account of the interview. Mike came
in, very angry. II tould yez he would
say something about me DYE. The first
thing he did was till hould up wan fin
ger, MANN / had but wanoye."
What did you do then, Mikep" asked
the president. &,
Sure / held up me two fingers, till
let him know / had two fists; an plat
does the durty BLACKBOARD do but
hould up three fingers, MANN we had
but three Dyes betwane us. Thin ]
doubled up me fist, and would "a guy
the frog. ATTN yarmint a welt yer bis
owe, but he COMMUNIST a-smilin' an
a-bowin' an a-scrapin', an whit out j,
the room."-Editor's DrG0ey, ia Har
per's Magazine for February.
W