Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1885-07-25
MEMS DRESS.
Some FEMININE Remarks Upon the
Important Subject.

Some Feminine Remarks Upon the
Important Subject.
Written for the INrER.OcEAN.]
Perhaps the female portion of man.
kind has been more frequently "dressed
off, by their brothers upon the modes
and styles Of dressing than upon any
other subject. Wise men have much to
say upon all styles of dressing, from
Mother Ewes primcval ond simple tog.
gerry to the latest fashion plate from
Paris. So far they have had it pretty
much their own way. Up to the pres
ent writing they have edited all the
papers and have done the major part OF
talking to the public. But We gently
suggest to the proud lords of creation
that "rhose who live in glass houses
should not throw stones"
Feminine apparel may be faulty-it is
taulty-none of the works of man have
yet reached absolute perfection. We
freely admit that women like to deck
themselves out in the richest fabrics
and most recent modes. But we humbly
submit, very humbly, that the sons OF
Adam as we'll as the daughters Of Eve
are not altogether tree from pride, the
sin by which the angels fell. We even
dare affirm in this enlightened presence
that men, with all their vauntcd wis
dom and complacent self. Importance,
are Just as blind devotecs Of the god.
dess Fashion as are the women, and we
carry our timerity so far as to declare
that mems fashions are far more ritlcu.
lous and nonsensical than those of
women. 1t is said, said contcmptuously,
that the women import their fashions
from Paris, but where the men get
their fashions is like the love OF God
that passcth understanding.
Contemplating the ''swell mashers" OF
this city, who are gotten up regardless,
who are '.just too uwtully too too" and
in their own minds doubly discount
Solomon in all his glory, we arc forced
to believe that they import their FASH
ions from some other world than ours.
Men are forever poking fun ut
women's hats and bonnets. Indeed
Whatever else may be said of our head
gear, it does not produce badness. II
must be true that the inventors of hail
restorers also invent mems hats, for nc
human contrivance could SO perfectly
succeed as the average mans hat in re.
ducing the average mans head to the
beauty of II billiard ball or q peeled
onion.
But we are gravely informed by doc
tors (all doctors are men, you know
that men grow bald from using theil
brains so much. Now grant this and
let us see where the logic will lead us
If the diagnosis of the case is correct
mems boards would drop off long before
their hair does, Tor the representative
American uses his jaws far more thar
his brains. The true solution is this
Mems checks are made of very hard
and tough metal, namely, brass
Women study their looks and dress &C
cordingly.
Men adopt fashion purely for fash
ions sake. Once in seven years plug
hats come into vogue. Now, nothing is
more becoming to tall. large, hand
some man than a silk tile, but no sight
is more pltiablc than to see dwarf
with u head no larger than youriis car
rying around hat large enough 70,
David Davis or the Kentucky giant.
From plugs they go peIl nell tc
derbys. Like Mrs Winslow's soothing
syrup, everybody cr cs for them We
verify believe that if the fashion maker.
were to decree that tin hats or fool:
caps were the "propcr capcr," in less
than fortnight our ultra fashionable
young men would be so attircd.
In the matter Of coats, first we have
the elegant "Princc Albert reaching
to tie heels. Then the short sack coat
reaching q little below the shoulder
blades. 1t makes no sort Of difference
what may he the proportion Of the mar
-Falstailian, Bennpolcan or Tom
T'llumbian--no matter what spectacle
he may be. for men are angels, he must
he in the fashion, no doubt acting on
Beau Brlunmcl's saying, "That Il man
might us well be out Of the world as ou,
of the fashion, But the most prepos
ferrous manifestation Of the slavery OF
man to fashion, is that no man. though
he possess the ability Of Webster and
the courage Of Richard the Lion Heart
ed. ever yet dared to break loose from
the incXorablc custom and marry in
anything other than n suit of black
which is fit oHly for hired mourncrs al
shoddy funeral. A wedding should
be gay and festive. The bride consuts
her mirror. her style, her complexion
her friends and her milliner, and gets
herself up to look her best, rs she is in
duty bound to do. But the bridegroom
is like lamb led to the slaughter and
before his tailor opcneth not his mouth
and upon the day which should be tho
happiest of his life he comes clad in the
sable habliments Of woe, casting gloon
everywhere, and be he blonde or bru
nette, short or long, young Or old, he
looks as though he were dressed for the
grave.
If men were not in such constant feal
OF their tailors they'd ransack the color.
Of the rainbow. as do women, to lool
their best, remembering that :.
Vanity Is the spice of life
That gives it all its flavor.
DAPHNE.