The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-08-06
How They Put the Cow In the Yard.

mere 10 uOtllnB tudt Qtuauub
craftsmanship of high order as much
as the driving of COW with a young
calf to any particular place. Two Dali
las colored men undertook job
OF this character, and although they
gave the matter their careful attention,
the result was very far from satisfac-
tory to anybody except the COW, which
seemed to enjoy it very much. Sam
and Bill were to get dollar to take
the COW and calf and put them in the
yard of the owner, Mr.. Thomas Car
lyle, who lives at the south end of Elm
street. After trying in vain to under
stand in which direction they preferred
she should go, Sam and Bill called
cabinet meeting, at which the following
campaign plan was agreed upon: Sam
go ahead. while Bill was t. hold the
cow back by the rope which was fastened
to her horns.
EFF she goes too fast" said Bill, I'LL
jest hold her back"
"And eff she don't follow fast enough,
I'll jest twist de Calls tail, and den she
will come right along" said Sam.
Sam took up the calf and went ahead,
while Bill, in order to get real good
hold, tied the rope around his wrist
The procession proceeded slowly in the
desired direction, and would have
reached its destination in safety had
not Satan tempted Bill to get off joke
on Sam, so he called out:
"Sam, jest twist dat calls tail"
Sam did so, and the calf bleated as
\ "A 70 10 hn
performance.
The old COW began to trot. So did
Sam, holding on to the calf as if he
had stolen it. Then the fun began.
For every once in while the COW
would polish her horns in the ceiling
of Sans pants. Bill could not get his
hands out of the rope, and, as he had
short legs, he had hard work keeping
up with the procession, or rather in
not letting go. He ran so fast that the
kinks in his wool Strengthened out.
Finally he gasped:
sam, ontwist dat CATS tail"
Sans legs moved so rapidly that
they looked like the spokes of buggy,
but he called back:
Look out dar, niggah, don't let go
dat rope, de cows gainin' on me-"
"Drap de caf, SAM" called poor Bill,
whose arm was coming out of its socket.
"Drap de caf, for / can't keep up wild
de COW. Go slow niggah, or I'll turn
de COW loose on you," which, however,
was more than he was able to do.
| Bill made the next fifty yards on his
back, he still most unwillingly retain
ing his hold on the rope. Fortunately,
the COW overlook Sam, and in return
for his kindness in picking up the calf,
she picked him up on her horns and
threw him over into Mr. Carlyle's yard.
Bill, who was rather tired of chasing
the COW, thought he would climb over
and see what Sam was doing. She APP
peared to understand his wishes in that
direction, so she started ON a run to
help him out, or rather in. She was
little late, but he went about ten feet
further into the field than he would
have done without her assistance.
There was neither of them SO badly
hurt as they were when old Carlyle
came and told them the contract was
that they should put the COW in the
yard. Instead of that, the cow had
put them in the yard, so the dollar be-
longed to himself as the owner of the
COW.
1t is thought a lawsuit will grow out
of the matter.-Aleck SiCeet, IN DR.
kansa,U Traueler. .sHn