The DeSmet leader. (DeSmet, Kingsbury Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-25
4 SLlREWD DECEPTION.
THE REMARKABLE POWERS or COL.
ATLANTU5 PiNDE RGRASS
The Colonel Invites Home AN oid Friend
A Matter of Personal Introttnetiou
Somewhat Ovcrdone --Couceals
ing an Unplea,ant Fact.
IArkansaw Traveler.l


One day, alter deep meditation, tho prince
of Orange remarked TO Bentnck: "To the
ravagcs Of strong drink the human system
resorts to various resstances yielding versa
tile results This remark although 1t en-
bodies no particular philosophy, either in
ductive, syliogi,tic or reconstructive, has
causel much comment
IL is tTue that there is great difference
in men, concerning tie power OF resistance
against the influence OF strong drink, and
although no man wholly escapes, yet some
men while struggling under the ef-
feet OF liquor can completely de-
ccive bcholder. There Is Col. Atantas
Pindergrass, for instance. IL you did not
know that he was drunk you would not
think that he had been drinking. He mas
way OF standing on the tiptoc of such p'lite-
ness, a way of saying such pleasant and APP.
propriate things, that his intoxcation sD
hidden under hushel OF agreeallenesS
The other day Mr. Martinhead went home
with tho colonel The colonel, his wife and
Mr. Martnhead were sitting in tho parlor
when Miss Sallie Punmel, an old
mail who had entered her 3otl
volume, called. The colonel pre-
onted his friend. and, satisfied with the
success of his sober pretense he leaned
back and smiled. Then no began 10 think
about something, and the thought that his
two visitors had not been presented. oc-
Cured to him
"Ah, Miss FUNNEL, allow me to introduce
my friend, Mr.. Martinhead."
I'VE have met replied Miss Pummel
"Ah, | didn't know that you were ac-
quainted."
Tho coloners wits cleared her throat
with IA sharp rasp of irritation. The colonel
continued: II have thought for some time
that would like for you TO become ac-
quain:ed, Tut il never occurred to ME that
you were old friends"
Colonel Let me sec you moment" salt,
Mr.. PndergraNs. drawing her husband into
an adjoinny room.
"Whats the matter with your she asked.
~ thing"
"Nothng, the mischief You ara drunk"
Drunk" he repeated contemptuously.
"Oh OF course. \ man ju>t gets drunk on
tho atmosphere"
Then assuming an air of injured innocence
the colonel went on: elias it come to thi,i
10 you want - insult met What have
donor
why, just LOOK how you acted about in
troducing-'
"O6, zee" sail the colonel, with n bright
euin. change of countcnance. ut was my
Then, stepping into the parlor, the colo
mel SID: Miss Pummel, allow inc to pre-
sent Mr. Martinheal'
Miss Pummel anJ ale acquainted" re-
piled Mr.. Martinhead.
That SOL Why, lot me assure y u that
didn't know ii, Introducing you to an old
friend; WHY. that's good joke, haw haw-
a capital ko, he, he. Wifo, let me $50 you
a minute
You've got me into pretty tx" said the
C lionel, when his wife had followed him into
the al Joining room. "Told me those folks
was rot acquainted You ought to be par
t.cuiar about such things
You ought To le killed." his wife indig-
nnntly snapped.
"Wbat have do1eT
you goad-fCr-nothing thing you have
made yourself ridiculous You are the most
| desp;c cattle man ever saw"
"ill be confounded il can understand
you"
"You are too drank to understand any
thinI you rute"
| "Iook here, am tire of being insulte1. =.
| Tho colonel wheeled around and went back
! into the parlDr, wher5 he proceeded to make
! himself agreeable and 10 disguise tho fact
| that be lad been drinking anything.
"Why," lie said, show many surprises
there sre In store for us. We meet people every
day. and then, when we lea,t expect it, they
surpri us. Why, il any one had told me.
! Martinhead, that you had gone TO school
/ to Miss puinmel, i would not have believed
| it,"
lilo didn't go to school to me-" snapped
| Miss Pumuiol
"Ah, that was my understanding. Oh,
! it was You who went to school to Martin
/ head"
"No, SIR interposed Martinheai.
Goa, you simply went to school together.
Yes. got it mixel, but not much. do
| like u SEQ ol friend M act each other. Let's
see, I've known Martinhead for ten years,
/ Miss Pummel, but not until to day did
| know that he was an Old friend of yours
no, not until today
Mr.. NJ art heal plea ling the su lien roc
election Of urgent business, withdrew, All y
Miss Pummel not desiring to remain after
her oil frian had gone, soon took her leave.
| The colonel. not long afterwarT tumblel
into bsl. When bo awoks nsxt morning h,
rememberol nothing except chat he had de-
! ceived his wife.
"A man wanted me to take a drink with
him yeiterIay, but wouldn't do it," said
he.
His wife did not reply
"By tho way our frienl Martinheai
would have CONS home witt me yesterday
but couldn't got Off.
Yes, som. m.n have way Of colcealing
the fact that they are drunk.