Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-06-05
susceptible young persons. -LoOeH CT

isen.
The love of draw-pokcr passeth all
understanding. If u player Is con-
stant winner he is gambler, and
should quit. Ii he is u steady loser he
is fool, and should play no more. II
1t Is u sec-saw arrangement, the play
ers eat up and drink up tho profits, and
should bc in better business. .-.\ev Or
leans P'cdyune.
The divorce market In Indianapolis
is thus tcrscly summarized by local
journals: Brisk competition among our
local lawyers has brought down the
prices of divorces. We quote: Com
mon separation, $l5; small alimony,
$26; large alimony. $50 to 800, ac-
cording to circumstances. Business
good and increasing"
Encouraging: The rcctor--"Good
morning, Mr.. Smithers, and what do
they say of our entertainment last
night. penny reading and part songs
by the church choir.) And my Shak-
spearian recitation, did they like itP'
Farmer Smthers Church warden) -
oh, yes, sir--seemin' iy. ! haven't
heard no complaints, sir!'-Ianch.
"Now, them" said the school-teach-
er, who was an ardent advocate Of
temperance, ''what Is it that causes
men to fightP" While waiting for some
one to shout "Rum" little boy held
up his hand and cried Dogs"
''DogsW exclaimed the teacher in as
tonishment. 'Yesem. When man
says his dog is better'n another mans
dog there's sure to be a fight. Dos
ton Courier.
A maiden lady in one of our James
River counties has discovered the ''pure-
ly unseliish man." He has, she says,
large family to support, and yet he
came over the other day and kindly
plowed up her garden and set out fruit
and shade trees for her. That was very
good, but be does not meet the case.
He knows that he may be widower
some of these days.-Richmond (Vd.)
Religious Herald.
He was a tame curate in the wild
Black country of Australia and he was
waiting in church TO marry couple of
aborigines Enter one Of them, the
man, in a hurry and his working
clothes, with his hands and face cover
cd with antique dirt. "Aw've kum to
be we'd" ..Youp" responded the cur
ate, aghast. .'In that garbP 1t is the
improper. Why, you are downright
dirty" "Me dirtyp Wait till you see
her. .'-Lontion Truth.
"rry to avoid debating with people, ="
says MIR. Spurgcon. The reverend is
correct Nothing in all this irritating
old world will make the other man lose
his head SO completely and get him so
bowling mad as for you to keep per-
fectly quiet just when you know he is
getting the better of you, and look at
him with an exasperating smile of con-
scious superiority and pity. But you
must look out that he doesn't brain
you with table-leg. Brooklyn Eagle.
When the Empress Of Austria went
to Vienna as a young bride. she found
a venerable. frigid and stiff court eti-
quette with which she had no sympa-
thy. Her refusal to observe it on ev-
cry occasion was severe shock to i'm
perial propriety and dignity. She went
SO far US to refuse putting on new
pair of boots every day, and made mat
ters worse by exclaiming: "Do you
think came here on purpose to widen
365 pairs of boots for you all every
yearP"
Norristown has man who is in q
fair way to become an awful example
of the ruinousness of litigation. As
plaintiff in recent suit he recovered
$1,000, and according to his own sub
sequent testimony he had to pay Just
1899 of this to his lawyers in counsel
fees. This is tribute to the ability of
the Montgomery County lawyers. Hit
will serve to keep would-be iitigants
from going to law at all, the Norris
town man can enjoy his solitary dollar,
with the consolatory reflection that he
has done some good in the world, even
if he didn't mean -Rhiiadelphia
Times.
A great, terrific noise came waiting
over Hickenlooper's back fence. Mrs.
Hickenlooper ran to the window and
looked out. She saw her husband gaz-
ing intently over into the yard of their
next door neighbor, while lively ex-
preston of satisfaction played over his
features. The noise continued, punct-
uated with the yells Of boy, together
with what seemed to be the emphatic
swish of skate-strap. Mrs. Hicken-
looper threw up the window. "What
is it?' she called. what are you do
ing, Horacep" Mr.. Hickenlooper mo-
toned for silence with backward
sweep of the hand. "Hush!' he whis-
pered hoarsely: I'm watching the
clips Of the son. ."-Rockldnd Courier.
Gazette.