St. Landry democrat., 1885-07-18
a NEW EUCLID,
Match Making Reduced to an Exact Sell
enGes
Tpof1n<I3trfSnT1


son hunting having been long since re-
duced to a science by the mammas of
fashionable life, it has been thought de-
sirable to embody the same in writing
for the benefit of postezity; and in &C.
complishing this task the method of
Euclid has been followed, both as one
which will be universally understood
and as showing more clearly than any
other the connection between the ~-"-HS
cessive steps of the science.
Definitions.
l. An undesirable partner is one who
has no toWn-house, and whose income
has no magnitude.
2. A doubtful partner is title without
wealth.
3. The extremIties of ballroom are
the best to firt in.
4. A bad business is the plain inclina
who meet together, but are not in the
same circles.
5. When one fair maiden s'siss on"
another fair maiden 0or Outrageous
firting') so as to make the adjacent
company notice her, each of the listen
ers will call it jealousy, and the fair
maiden who sits on the other fair
maiden will be called ''too particular"
by them.
6. An obtuse angler is one who does
not hook an eldest son.
z. An acute angler is one who does
hook an eldest son.
:. A term of endearment is the ex-
tremity of filtration.
9. A blue stocking is plain figure
IOaiInI ISp1o nh Sc Oo1Ia1
her erudition, and is such that when
forming the center of circle all young
men will be found equally distant from
that center.
10. A figure is that which is COM
pressed by a more or less confined
boundary.
II. A good figure is that compressed
within an inch of the owners life.
-. Dull partners are such as, being
drawn out ever so well in all directions,
do not talk.
PoStulates.
Let it be granted:
l. That an eligible young man may
be drawn by skillful management from
any one young lady to another young
lady.
2 That an engagement for one dance
may be prolonged to any number OF
dances by few tibs.
g. That visiting circle may be ex-
tended to any extent from a West End
square, and may be made to include
marquis resident at any distance from
that square.
AriomS.
]. If -FOUR daughter be married to a
nobody, the match is unequal.
2. Ii your daughter be married to
duke, the match is equal.
3. Elder sons are preferable toyoung-
er sons.
4. If wealth be added to younger
sons, the two are equal.
5. If wealth be taken &om elder sons,
the two are equal
6. Two short lines may inclose a pro-
posal.
z. If one young lady meets with too
much attention, so as to make the in
ferior angels on e. ther side of her equal
to tearing her eyes out, this conduct, if
continually repeated shall at length
meet with such reprobation at the hands
of the said angels as shall lead one tc
believe that they are not quite angels.
PROPOSITION L
Problem.
To secure an aristocratic partner by
the help of a given (fnite) number OF
charms.
Let talent for dancing A, and
pair of fine eyes B, be the given finite
number of charms. Let D be the aris-
tocratic partner.
It is required to secure D with A B.
Bring B to bear on an old gentleman
C, whom you know to be acquainted
with d. Tell the decided fib 3 that
you are not engaged for the dance
Then, since the decided fib E is equal
to very broad hint, if the aristocratic
partner D pass by at that moment, ne
will be introduced.
Then with your captive D, and to the
tune of the last waltz out, describe the
circle of the room, and if at any point
of the dance you meet the gentleman
G, to whom you are really engaged,
consoling himself with a new partner
II, let that be the point when the dan
GERS cut one another.
Then since it has been shown that
your fine eyes d have had a great effect
on the old gentleman c, mueh great
er will be their effect on d. and
with your charms A B you will have
secured an aristocratic partner ID.
Wherefore, etc. @. E. F.
"A. III. Reatibcote, TN LongnaGn's.
Made His Choice.