St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-02-22
A TRUTHFUL TRIO.
Ratchet Pay Stories Told by Mark Twain
Nasty and Ell Perkins.

Nasty and Ell Perkins.
Mark Twain aud Petroleum T. Nasty, saws
Dom Piatt, dined with Eli Perkins at the
latters residence in New York. The CONVEX
sation at that dinner shall never forget.
The stories told and the "reminiscences
brc lght out at that dinner would fill small
book
After the last course, and after the ladies
| had Withdrawn, the convcrs ltion turned
upon horses. Finally Mr.. Twain laid down
his cigar and asked Perkins aud Nasty if
they had ever heard Of fast horse he MARK
used TO own in Nevada.
II think not, =" said Nasty.
"Well, gentlemen - continued Mr.. Twain,
as he blew n smoke ring and watched IT,
THAT was fast horse. lie was very fast
horse. But he was 80 tough btted that
couldn't guide him with bit at all -
''Hnw did you guide HING asked Eli.
''Well. gentlemen, | had 10 guide him with
electricity. had to have wire lines and had
TO keep battery in the wagon all the time In
order TO stop him.
why didn't you stop him by holleriug
who-a!i asked Eli
'Stnp him by hollering who AZ exclaimed
enough to make that horse hear me. lie
tr aveltd SO fast that no sound ever reached
him from behind. lie went faster than the
sound sir. Heller whoa aud he'd be in the
next town before tie sound Of your voice
could reach the dashboard. Travel fastn /
should say he could. Why once started
from Virginia City for Meadow Creek right
in front Of one Or the most dreadful rain
storms We ever had on the Pacific coast
Wind and rain: Why the wind blew eighty
miles an hour and the rain fell in sheets
drove right before that storm for three hours
just on the edge Of that hurricane and
rain for fcrtv miles
Didn't you grt drenchcd."
"Drenchedi No, cir. Why, ] tell YOU, /
drove right in front Of that raiustorn. ]
could lean backward and feel rain and catch
hail-stones. When the hurricane Stacked 40
the horse Stacked up. too, and when il blew
faster Just said 'g--lk,' 10 the horse and
touched the battery, and away wc vent. Nov
! don't want TO lie about ms horse, Mr.. Per
kins, and don't ask yOu 10 believe what ]
sag. hut tell YOU truthfnlly that when got
- Meadow Creek my linen duster was dry AZ
powder. Not a drop Of rain on the wagon
seat either, while the wagon box was level
full u hailstones and water, or I'la a.,
a----'
"Look here gentlemen" interrupted Mr.
Nasty, speaking Of the truth, did you ever
near about my striking that man in TOledof'
Mark said be had never heard about It.
II don't think It di1- Il was too sudde n.
The bystanders said Il ! vas going ~ strike a
second blow II 3 wanted % move out Of the
state. Nov, don u want you % bel.eYe me,
ana don't expert sou will, hut 70 tell You
the honest truth. Dir. Perkius,I squsshed that
man right down into a dOor-mat, aud his
owu Niie, who was lacking down one edge
Of the carpet Ut the tins. came right along
and toDk him for a gutia Iercha rug. and
actually tackled him down in front ~ the
d0ur. Poor woman, she never knew she was
ticking down her own busbsnjl What be-
came 81 The lacks in biz mOufhs you AK.
Well the next day the boys pulled them out
81 the bottoms Oi bis Over-sho-s. and
''GrBiemeD!' interrupted Ell, lit do 3
me good u hear such truths. believe ev-
err ~Urd y0u sar. and feel tfzt I ought 10
exrbangs truths with yOU. Now. did you
ever bear hoE vent to yrsyer-peeiinz a.
New London. Conn, in rain-atorrn.''