Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-04-11
Two DOCTORS
Pnyssclans Wno Disagree. bus
Waoss Fees are the Sa-As-
the Carir.as H4F Isxe ssaszgass sscszs
biIfesraE sea. sak<sslifsz ke1ess4s4as
sbiea. F~rs4ss. asa Better
Nst o. stated

1ha 1ms. aHl a pressed fez.inx IA nay
CHEST. ny Ieo.i llstFessss ne. Pa ios-
spirited lr4.i ana la4sal1 Ia sbof<, I lD
csmplstsiY broken up. Ia very careful
a1sas saHa<. aaa t1.asa I eat graham
bread sx llsifelF, I Aass "a une9alfor1a-
lis fse.fag nsrs ia ghe ch=ss after every
meal"
Doet0r-"Ahs suspected As much. NJ
des1 sIr. daa't go.4 sn9a hat graham brad
Is tas very worst taiag yoa caz pot iuto
your slgiaae1rf
F4leaf -~Wa a., doctor, l always have
th1ug ght--"
Detof -.W course yOa tii, and 50 90
thousands 5f other peope; bat, neverthe-
less. ilis la f3s you. How eau any man.
no matter boa Nau be may be, digest
Wsoi-shaFinsss Aad thAt's What graham
sr-ef .s-a s4ai part 81 IT, N0, y0u can't
A. tss b.. ani 10 lies ia your stomach,
ebefs il irritates al causes ever, thing
goa ear g. fernea1 and evolve gas, and Il
IS sLis gas ehi-a Gauss that pressed fsel-
lns la your "a st."
PlfienE -.' Bat vhat must I satsH
Doctor W llts bread Is good enough
for me, ani it's good enough Tor yoa- Ia
fs 90, It's iu>r shat Yoa need. What DO you
drnk .th y0ar meals"
Pausnt-"l used O. drink tea and coffee,
but thought they hurt me. and now
drink water exclusively"
Doctor-'.N3 wonder yau don't feel sl.
Do yoa know sir, that there IS nothing 50
har.ful % health as this everlasting drink
lns " cold water. Thy sir, it cong geals
ths fst about the stomach. retarding di-
gsssloa and inpoysrishing the blood.
Y0u'u have 20 stop that n sht OF. A little
warm tea or coffee won't hurt you hun
drsIta part 4s much as gotlet OF ice
water. YOU'RE teetotalar | supposs,"
Patlsnr-"W Ell. yes; that Is 20 say"
D3ct0r-'sI understand. You are con-
scienriously ayeTss 10 drinking; but IL 1t
was essential to your health YOU wouldn't
of-er any foolish objectiOns:"
Patient-"No. l don't suppose should,
II It were really necessary"
D0ct0r-''W ell. / want you 70 get some
+ pure whisky, and drink wineg lassful. say
F -four times dav, before meals and upon
I rsti ing. II you have that dull feeling at
any other time, you can take dose; it
won't hurt you. never fear"
Patient-" How about my smoking:
T Must quit that-'
T D3csor-NO. indeed. II aids digestion
aui sOothes The nerves. Smoke all YOU
want %. You don't need any medicine.
Leave OF your graham bread and cold
water. and that. with the whisky, will
fetch you round ali right Come and see
me again Ia a week"
Pauent-"How much, doctor' l might
as well pay you as / 70 along"
Doctor" Five dollars, please. Thank
you"
Patient-'Good day, Doctor"
Doctor-"Good iay sir"
Patient (soliloquikins as be walks away
-"Dr. Smart = a sensible man, a very
sensible man. He understands my symp-
toms exactly. He talks like "a man who
knows his bus ness"
DOctor-"Ah, Nr. Brown, how d. ye do'
Not sick, h0pe:"
Pateut-"W ell. no, not sick exactly; but
don't feel just RI ght. Food d.stresses me,
you know, troubled with duh pain in
my head and press a feeling my chest;
am tired, languid and low spirited"
Doctor-''Tm afraid you eat too much
white bread"
Patieut-"Why, .sn't that good for me-?
Doctor-"No, indeed; worse thing you
can eat"
Patisnt-"But what shall I eat: They
say graham bread isn't 50 wholesome as il
has been cracked up to be-"
Doctor-~ Nonsense. An old woman's
notion; nothing else. assure you White
bread contains starch. but it hasn't any
gluten; AMI gluten. you know-one must
have 10 II ne would De- veil Graham doui
contains both starch and gluten. IL is
perfect food aud is just what you re-
quire."
Patient-"But they say it is the greste
part woody fiber.
Doctor-"Al the wOo,ly fiber youn fne
in xrahsm four wouldn't hurt flea. Leav'
or your white bread and eat nothing bu
graham. That's the 4 Sc thing. Now
what ID you drink"
Pauent-..Tsa AMI coffee"
Doc5or-"No wonder you are bilious.
shall ask you to give up your tea an,
coffee. AMI take water instead"
Patient-"But always supposed tha
cold drink
Doctor r-'' Another fsllacy Wster Is ma
lures own beverage. Who ever heard o
an animal suffering from bihousness
You never drink any alcoholic stimulanis
ehs"
Never drank drop ~ spiri
IN nay life. Don't believe 10 it, sir I"
Docror-"filst 70 hear that Alcohol /
sviruleat poison. AMI half of the peopl
who come to me are a. imrreensted with
that IL - almost Impossible 70 40 any thin
for them 7 can h slp shssn. hut that's al
When a jr.n,1nz man comes O. me. max
him promi Sc 20 forssxs his cups before II
undertake hIs case. Better man shauh
dia in his ri xbt mind. sou know, than liv
century haif fuaiied. r.. IA. hair
Psfjeot--" Hs. he. he. Just 80. doctor
Just %"
Doctor-s'T take it you so,'t sse tobac
eot~
Psaest-"No. ar sna wouiant - .sv
ny Mfe."
uoctor-.Is does ns good - hear yo
.sy thah Tabsrro never ii1 suvbc8y an
goof. sai ia responsible foe hsf the ili
that fssh = heir 60 No-v want ven 2
.sxe this -hoiiiaS ap a - tiel shrss time
isv Before est ns sa3 one ~ these pow
4sra es- a~sas.y ard .sr,.as .-.ss-.r - r.a+ ,n