The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1885-08-29
BILL ME SKATING.

me. That is the reason why also
now state in public manner to a
lost and uudone race that unless
the roller rink is at at once ab0l
ished the whole civilized race will
at once be plunged into arnica.
l had tried it once before, but
had not carried my experiments
to successful termination. made
u trip around the rink last August
but was ruled out by the judges
for incompetency, and advised to
skate among people who were
hostile to the Government of the
United States, while the proprie-
tors repaired the rink.
On the 9th of last September |
nestled in the bosom of a cyclone
to excess, aud it has required the
bulk OF the succeeding months for
nature to glue the homes of my
my leg together in proper shape.
That is the reason | have not Civ.
en- the attention to roller skating
that | should.
A few weeks ago | read what
Mr.. Talmage said about the great
national vice. 1t was his opiuion
that If we skated in a proper spirit
we could leave the rink each even.
ing with onr immortal souls in good
shape.
Somehow it got out on Thurs
day evening | would undertake
the feat of skating three rounds in
three hours with no protection to
my scrupules, for one. half the gate
money, Talmage rules. so there
was quite large audience present
wich opera glasses. Some had
umbrellas, especially on the front
rows. These were worn spread,
in order to ward off fragment of
the rink which might become dis
engaged and set in motion by at
mospheric disturbances.
In obedience to a wild Wagner.
ian snort from the orchestra came
forth into the arena with my skates
in hand. | feel perfectly at home
before an audience when have my
skates In hand. 1t Is q morbid de
II is a morbid desire to wear the
skates on my feet that has always
been bette noire. Will the Office
boy please give mo brass.checlS
for that word so that can get L
in when | go awayl
My first thought after getting
myself secured to the skates, wal
this; "Am | iu the proper fram
of mindl Am doing this in th'
right spiriti Am about to skat
IN such away as to lift the fog o
, uubelief which now envelops sir
! ful world, or shall deepen th
j: Opaque night in which my race
Y enveloped?'
r just then that end of the rim
0 erupted In a manner so forthwit
/ and so tout ensemble that | ha
:. to push it back in place with N
n person. / never saw anythir
Q done with less delay or less la
: guor.
@ The audience went wild with el
p thusiasm, and | responded to tll
9 encore by writing my name In IL
:. air with my skates.
Y This closed the first seance, an
!. my trainer took me in the dres
r iDg.room to attend a consultatio
/. of physicians. After the rink ca
J. penter had lacked up the floor
D little | went out again. | had 4
Q fears about my ability to perfor
e the mechanical part assigned m
D but | was still worried over Il
question whether 1t would {
\ would not be of lasting benefit
0 mankind.
!. Those who have closely scrl
t tinlzed my frame In repose hay
!. admitted that | am fearfully al
|. wonderfully made. Students |
!, the human frame say that the
S never saw such a wealth of loos
), ness and limberness lavisbed upo
! one person. They claim that n
J ture bestowed upon me the hing
and joints intended for who
a family, and therefore when | ska
7 the air seems to be perfectly luri
9 with limbs. / presume that tb
is true, though | have so lit
: ! leisure while skating in which
!. observe the method itself, the pl,
D or animus of the thing as it wer
8 that my opinion would be of litt
:. value to the scientist.
| am led to believe that ii
o roller skate is certainly greI
s civilizer and a wonderful level,
e of mankind. If we so skate thi
, when the summons comes TO see
) our ward in the general hospits
!. where each shall heal his buste
u cuticle within the walls whel
7 rinkisis squirm, We go not like I'll
: moral wreck, morally paralyze
!, but like a hired man taking b