Smyrna times., 1885-04-08
WHOLE NO. 1855.
Here and Elsewhere.

In gentle spring the old before the
lew-shOes.
Oregon sends to President Cleveland
/ genuine cheu salmon.
In politics the vest pocket is after all
not so potent factor as possession.
Spades are or soon will be trumps in
these digabouts.
The Chinese are striking the French
from the pig-tailed shoulder.
By industry we thrive-tired as an
Office seeker.
Jackson's High as Haman," has
dwindled down to clover blossom.
Brush of the electric lights is So
years old with an income of $4,000 a
day.
They seem to be beating all the plow-
shares of Europe into swords these
days.
A plate of Bessemer or mild steel
becomes under hydraulic pressure a
spring.
The new minister to the Netherlands
is a brOther-in-law of the New York
Herald.
Williameaton, of Connecticut, is
still on the outside, with the rest of the
crowd.
If the CRITICS are to be believed the
French force in TOnquin is in a critic
al situation.
SchOnhausen a very small portion of
the German Empire has been given
to Bismarck
Why is the man who beats his wife
like thoroughbred animal because
be is perfect brute.
The world outside-North, South.
East, Vests in a tempest of war, but
all is quiet on the Potomac.
The new Bay Window palace cars
lately introduced are in reality recess
windows from the track.
Frances prime minister Ferry, real
ICES that there is many a slip between
the wharf and the ferry boat.
Brother Beecher is still talking
wildly enough to excite the suspicion
that he sleeps under a crazy quilt.
The wreckers of Key West, Fla,
charged the Mallory Steamship Alamo
$l8.5O0 for floating her off the Tartugas
reef.
Informal breakfasts among heads of
departments at Washington are among
the reforms aimed at costly evening
receptions.
The story of Mrs. Garfeld's alleged
betrOthal is Indignantly denied by her
friends. The lady herself regards the
statement as an insult.
Pearson is appointed because the
, Mugwumps demanded it, and the Mug
wumps carried the election. To the
victors belong the spoils.
Mr. Hendricks still clings to the
! delusiOn that he is the President in dis
guise. Somebody should tell Hen
!, bricks that it is time to unmask.
5 The base ball fever has broken out
t with increased virulence. In compe-
= titiOn with it we don't think the cholera
VIII htANO mum VI "a ohOAs
!. Fatty degeneration of conscience Z"
+ is new phrase used to express an ag-
t gravated form of moral disease. The
q disease, however, is not new.
Did your wife die resigned ?" asked
|, an acquaintance of a newly bereft far
- mer. Die resigned ?" replied the far
q mer " Why Jimmey, she had to r'-
- Phild. Record
/ Two thousand women attacked the
-e officer of the Turkish Finance Minister
n to demand pay due their soldier hus-
'e bands, and forced the Minister to es-
80 cape by back window.
in An esteemed cotemporary explains
lie that it costs fOrty-two cents to stop @
Or railway train. 1t should have added
lie that it frequently costs a great dea
le more than that to miss one.
IL Mcdonald, of Indiana, was mo-
n fully cognizant of his party attitude
h until he was ignored in the cabine
ne appointments. That showed him that
re he belonged to the Extreme Left.
~ A good many of the fellows wht
'S started out to run this Administration
lu are already crawling out from unde
- the wheels and demanding money oil
~, their accident policies.
n We all feel dreadfully cold when tn
e. mercury in thermometer falls to o
OK zero, but one knows why it should b
on named so and for a like reason, VIII,
es. should the few weeks after marriage
en- called the honey moon.
?" A young father in writing to a frien'
t." strikes balance of his JOY in this way
or; You ought to see our little elf
is You ought to hear il hOller2
,,,s You ought TO see me-myseli
. But il cost us forty dollars"
mt The 1st of April was celebrated i
=" Maine by a new prOhibitOry law takin
ain effect. This prohibits the manufactur
o's and sale of Oleomargarine in that stat
or and was passed at the recent session {
s." the Legislature.
HE The Atlanta Constitution never loose
an opportunity to prod Secretary Maj
.tv ming with the question whether he pre-
on poses to allow the whisky ring to col
his tinue to use the peoples money witt
yav out interest.
ing Prince Bismarck's SEVENTEEN birtl
am day was celebrated all over the Germa
18th Empire. Empire William paid signi
cen honors to the Chancellor, and specii
cen mark of distinction, is reported, W.
the sent to the Prince by Gar.
yer, .-
guy
ept On account of i'll health, John Ke
cid lev is about to retire from the chai
his manship of the Committee on Organ
in. cation of Tammany. Great regret
ap- expressed by his many friends that
had should find this step Necessary. 1t
xed not certain who will succeed him, b
ess. it is feared that no one else will be alb
but to keep the organization as camplete
oon together as Mr.. Kelley has done.
rm. -s-
,hnn Mr.. BRIsToR GETS A CHURCH.
80 ,~ Wednesdays session of the Newark
~ E. Conference, at Nyaek, n. Y,
- = motion was adopted to the effect tn
Ill, the case of Rev. Geo. r. Bristor be l
|" . considered. During the day the a
u;,S nual appointments were announce
VA VA and Mr.. Bristor was assigned to t
81 l.