Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-11
BRIGHT BITS.

Glow did you manage to cultivate such a
oe5utliul Dlack eyeF asked Br Wn. "Oh,"
replied Fogg, who had been prachcing upon
roller skates, II raised it from sp."-BoS
ton II dnScr{Dt
SAID an irate father to a refractory child:
MARY Jane, III not bate you'll scorn to
strike woman; but ri take this chair and
III commalgomate your skin till it's petrlfied
TO your body 50. Paul Times.
AN EXCHANGE states that Wisconsin
furnishes more poetry ami pine lumber than
any other State in the Union. Why say poetry
ana pine lumber? Why not say klndlng. and
XIII two birds with one stOne?-Throu0b Mail.
"THE only thing to mar the pleasure of the
occas on" wrote an Arizona editor of a
funeral, was little difficulty between the
clergyman and one of the mOurners concern
ing the ownership of q flask found in the car
riage they had occupied. '-Pro0idence Star.
"WHAT do you suppose Il look like when
| get out of hereP' snapped a young lady at
the conductor of an Overcrowded cable car.
"a good deal like crushed sugar, miss"
said the bellrlnger.
And the young lady hung on to a strap and
rode four miles further with the smile Of an
angel.-Saa Fran ei8can.
A TRAMP applied for breakfast at a house
on Michigan avenue.
"Why don't you look for work." asked the
householder, roughly.
II never get time,' said the tramp.
"Why, what are you doing all day."
Looking for breakfast" replied the tramp.
Detroit Post.
BOSTON GIRL Ito Uncle James. a farmer)-
Do you like living on farm, Uncle James?
Uncle James-Yes, like it very much.
Boston Girl suppose it is nice enough. in
the glad summertime, but to go out in the
cold and snow to gather winter apples and
harvest winter wheat imagine might be any,
thing but pleasant. --Nee0 York Tribune.
"JUsT back from Washington, Ell, Mr.. Wat
terson?"
Eyes"
"Saw the Presidents"
Yes; and glorious man he Is, too"
~ m surprised to hear you say thatl He
must have made important concessions"
''No, not that: but he whOOped me up the
liveliest lunch l ever sat down to, - Chicago
Ne1os.
Col. MURAT HALsTEAD the versatile edi-
tor of the Cincinnati Commercial Gazette, has
added the Mugwump to his extensive roper
tore. We look upon Col. Halstead as one of
the most accomplished journalists on the con-
nent, but we believe that his fame will rest
upon what he has already written IN prose
and otherwise about sunsets, the air, and the
sunshine. Therefore we are inclined to re-
gard the MugWump innovation as a predes-
tined futile dalliance. Chicago NetCS.
UPON my arm she placed her hand,
So soft and white, longed to seize it.
Would offend? l took it, and
What could do but gently squeeze it?
Her waist was then within my reach,
Anu NuSu 30 near 10 me 4 IOUnQ IL,
spent no precious time in speech,
But softly put my arm around it.
This brought quite near her ripe, red lips
Sweet lips! Could mortal man resist 'em?
/ trembled to my finger tips
AS drew them nearer and kissed 'em.
A SUGGESTION TO SLIM
Young man so very spruce,
Estheti0. and all that;
A vacuum exists
Beneath the latest hat.
Your clOthing-yes so neat,
A perfect fit, see;
An ornament. indeed,
Lacking utility.
That mus ache, yours, young man,
IT'S waXed, indeed; what pans;
Suppose, young man, you barter il
just for little brains.
st. Paul Herald.