Smyrna times., 1885-12-30
The Miracles Of the Types.


pondered over the pages of a newspa-
per of the great amount of labor ex-
pended in making it; of the vast
amount of trash that must be winnowed
before the truth can be found of the
headaches of the unfortunate fellow
upon whom this weary task has fallen?
Did you ever think of the conflicting
stories he must reconcile of the mass
of nonsense and lies to which he must
listen, in order to get at the truth of
rumOr or report, which, when the truth
is finally reached after three or four
days chase, is found to be a baseless
as the airy fabric of a dream? Did
you ever think of the annoyance that
is caused by people who have axes to
grind, and insist, no matter how dull
the abominable old axe may be, of
making the Editor grind it upon his
press, and sharpen it up and polish it
all over probably for the fiftieth time,
so that the owner may be enabled to
hew his way to public notOriety, or in
directly to advertise himself or his
goods or his wares at the Editors ex-
pense, and reap a goodly harvest of
golden ducats?
This scOurge of the editorial sanctum
usually comes in the disguise of an an
cient female whose day of grace has long
since fled, but who either has not found
it out or is vainly trying to persuade
herself and everybody else that it may
be cOaxed to return. To this end she
wishes to keep herself before the pub
lie as the patrOness of all the church
fairs and festivals, Sunday school pic
MICS and sOciables, and if any friends
| from distance visits her she brings
round her rusty old axe in the shape
of an imperative command or a dolor-
Gus importantly to give her friend and
incidentally herself Il local notice,
knowing full we'll that next Summer
when she returns her visit her friend
will reciprocate the favor, and the
Salem Sunbeam, the Chester County
Mirror, or the Sussex Journal will be
cajOled or frightened into stating that
the charming and accomplished Miss
s. is spending a few days with her
friends, the Misses O., on Highfalu-
tin avenue.
Sometimes a scOurge comes in the
shape of blockhead of the masculine
gender who if he had little more thrift
would be cOxcomb, but lacking the
means to advertise the wealth he hasn't
got he contents himself with being q
bore.
The misfortune with this class is
that they think they are something
when they are nothing. If anything
happens to one of their family they
are of such Importance that the public
must surely be interested in knowing
it for instance, that Mr.. j, the sOr
of Mr., J. of this town, in company
with his sisters, the Misses Jay, anC
a whole flock of other birds of splendi(
plumage, have taken their annua
hegira, and are sOjourning in New Or
leans, where they will remain through
the Winter. These are just a few G
the milder type which atfict the press
I Others come in shape of blockhead
who think they know something in tn
: shape of news, but who really knON
nothing and haven't sense enough t
7 keep their mouths shut.
a But time and space would fail us
e enumerate the half of the scourges tina
s afflict the editorial sanctum and cor
: spire to make the life of the newspape
}. man miserable. And now, reader, who
e ever you are, let us have a word or tw
e with you. You may think this pictur
: is Overdrawn, but if you would just tr
d to run the editorial machine singl
:. day-nay if you would just try to fl
!, up column in proper shape yOurse
: and see what a miserable mess yo
> would make of it-you would be col
. vinced that we had drawn it midi,
y And then when the weary task is don
a and all the news of the wide, wild
{ world has been read and re-read an
L boiled down and commented upon an
- fixed up ready for the compositOrs, di
v you ever think of the miraculous wor
: of picking up each peace of type an
y placing it in its proper position, so thi
e you can read it and understand ii
" Why the whole thing is miracle tn
;. should excite the attention and cor
mand the admiration of every one wi
has sense enough to read it and refe
u upon its utility.-CecI Democrat.
IL T.s- \. Al