Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-02-05
PHILADELPHIA Call.


a gentleman of very close habits, was
alarmed one bright sunshiny morn
ing by the venerable old gentleman,
whose voice was heard Ia all parts of
the house at the same time. He had
run in from the garden crying:
Martin, Martini Where is that
precious rascal, Martins"
Martin was q hustlIng, active SER
want in the family, remarkable for
his polite and agreeable manners,
which quite atoned for the ugliness OF
his visage-not actual ugEness, but
ugliness occasioned by black patch
over one of his eyes and another
across his nose. The family of Mr..
Barby consisted of himself and ward,
young lady of nineteen, to whom he
had been left guardian by an old
friend and schoolfcllow.
He did not like the idea of being set
as watch dog over the inclinations of
a yeuag girl, but respect for his
friends memory would not admit of
his refusing to take upon himself the
charge.
Seeing the host of suffers addressing
her, and beng unable to separate the
wheat from the chaff, he resolved
upon misunderstanding them ali by ex-
pressing bis determination that Mile
Waters should not marry st all.
''She shall have ne husband at
ALL" he cried ''Better be without
husband, Mile, than to have a bad
one"
The wary old man accordingly
chose for Miles maid a remarkably
curious looking humpbacked old
woman, thinking she would be true
to hls interests.
But Mr.. Barby was mistaken, for
Julie was remarkably fond of money
a &5 note would throw her into
state of delirium, during which she
continued oblivious of all that might
be going on around her.
Martin responded not to his masters
summons. But still the old gentle
man cried:
''The precious villainl Oh, that my
family should be thus insulted and
disgraced. I saw him press his lips
to my wards cheek, and the sound of
that kiss still SQUADS in my ears"
At this moment Martin appeared
and mildly asked:
did you call, sir2"
Whoreupon the enraged old gen
tleman rushed upon him, and cried:
BOUNDS, you scoundrel! what do
you mean by kissing my ward?"
81, sir2" exclaimed Martin, with
surprised and innocent look.
''Villainl my. own eyes have not
deceived me, saw you not ten
minutes ago steal behind behind Miss
Mile and-and-"
"Sir, sir!" exclaimed Martin,
writning in Barby's grasp. 1T is
impossible"
And thus saying, he touched his
hand upon his forehead. As sud-
den thought occurred TO him he CON
tinued.
Sir, 8 thought strikes me which
may justify your suspicious. There
is sonae strange mystery in this.
"Aystery!' quoth the old gentle
man ia an enraged voice. Il think
there is. /"
II confess, SIR said Martain, with
a tone and look of shame, that | did
steal into the garden just now and
take a chaste salute, but on my honor,
sir, I believe the person To be Miss
Winters maid, the worthy Julie, to
whom I have the honor of lying my
address"
"Villain!" repeated the old man,
stamping his foot, but Martin inter
rupted HIM:
''You know what a bad sight I
have. SIR" he said. zone eye entire
" gone. and the other very treacher-
Gus, as it is row proven TO be, seeing
that I misteok the mistress for the
maid, and have thus insulted lady
and offended worthy gentleman,
whom my inclination and duty have
ever pronaptsd me to regard with
profound respect aud veneration."
Mr. Barby was compelled to admit
that, owing to the defective sight of
Martin, it was possible for such q mis-
take to have occurred, and the "prec
ious william" was called careless
fellow"
Wishing perfectly to retrieve his
character, he explained to his master,
that he and Julie were about to be
married that she had obtained Miss
Winters consent, and sthat he Has
thinking Of asking Mr.. Barby that
very morning.
The old gentleman expressed his
surprise that a spruce little dandy
like Martin should wish to unite him
self with the old humpbacked Julie;
but Martin clasped his hands, and
with rapture declared her the woman
of his choice and paragon of woman
kind, and Mr.. Barby, not wishing to
wound the honest fellows feelings,
contented himself with saying:
well, there's no accounting for
tastes"
In the course of the day Mr.. Barby
accidentally met Julie IN the garden.
"Well, Juliel' he exclaimed, Il
wish you joy ia the new situation you
are going into"
Law, SIR" said Julie. II amt
goiugs.into no new situation"
"Why, yes, you are; you are gong
to get married"
married, sirl" echoed Julie, in as
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