The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-05-21
JACKSON. OHIO. THURSDAY. MAY 21, 1895
THE MERRY SIDE! !

THE MERRY SIDE!
The Canadian soldiers have Rfel spinning
away, in the liveliest manner.
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Nothing has yet been discovered to equal the mod
esty of a tattooed lady in side-show.
The United Order of Foresters of Indiana, is bank
rupt. The Treasury out of timber.
A laboring man observes that it is remedy for
dull times to grind the faces of the workmen.
Halleluiah! The record is straight. The missing
two cents have been found in the U. S. Treasury.
John Neneighbor, Springfield Ohio, shot his
wife, then killed himself-because he didn't like his
mOther-in-law.
President Cleveland is being threatened with the
displeasure of Mugwumps and Democrats alike. It's
a terrible thing to be great man.
When our citizens saw Coles Hippopotamus smile,
they involutarily started to shake hands with him.
They mistook him for candidate.
Mark Twans reading tour is said to have netted
him thirty-fve thousand dollars. We have not yet
learned what the public got out of
1t is said that Secretary Bayard never reads a
newspaper He got into that way when at home in
Delaware. He hadn't room to read it.
| At Steubenville, the entire High School struck
against the Superintendent. and left. Perhaps the
Superintendent had struck them too often
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1t looks, sometimes, though the Republican par
ty drifting toward condition where brains in
a candidate will be considered disability.
| OIL
sick. The officers got sick some time ago. The Mahdh
| is. as far as can be ascertained, in fair health.
! A Cincinnati has invented big air-ship,
which will shortly sail. The Cihcnnatians should
all into it and so up out of that wicked place.
| William Legg, of Licking County. Ohio, wanted to
know if Rough on-Rats'' would be rough on Leggs
too, and tried dose. William has been amputated
! A son of Lester wallack, the actor, slipped away
and got married. But as he married girl with a
quarter of million, his father persuaded to for
| give him.
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The Wisconsin man who swallowed the silver dol
lar don't want hear anything more about clouds,
anything else, with strer lining. He regards it
fraud
| 1--WE intend,' wrote the amateur editor, ''to make
paper holy terror to evil doers' The next day
off who owed il two dollars, and the ter
ror'' died.
President Cleveland has written d letter indorsing
Sunset Cox's book Three Decades 1t is more val
liable to Cleveland it left than for what
| it contains.
| A coored convict in the Ohio Penitentary at
tempted to commit suicide by sticking his head into
kettle of boiling metal. 1t snged the hair off, but
| it didn't kill him.
| Jackson County Constable arrested on an
execution, certified that the paper he served
"a copy of the Original writ without saying
what he did with it.
There are grave predictions of Asiatic cholera in
this country, during the coming summer. You can't
be CAREFUL, says the he adds little pep
permint to his liquor.
If the blue polonaises worn by Coles Arabs are
specimens of the drawing-room dress of their tribe,
| they should employ tailor. or run a few tucks
| in the of the garment.
| They got up burglary in Chiicothe, over
the fact of a cellar door standing open. After arous
ing the neghborhood, they found that the merchant
hadn't shut his cellar door
|
At Taluah, Georgia. hundred and fifty people
were poisoned by ice-cream. Let every young man
cut this item and paste it in his hat 1t will be
profitable to read it to his girl.
general Beatty, said the defeated candidate for
Supervisor could be elected. The Republicans
of Ohio will not support him. Why, would throw
my own influence against him."
| The British Government proposed to raise war
funds by increasing the tax liquors. A riot re-
suited When you strike an Englishman in the stom-
ach, he's going to kick, every time.
| -
Ben. Sheridan was taken to Waverly, few days
ago. answer two indictments for horse-> tealing.
If any has lost horse, let him charge it to Ben
| He is getting used to this thing
They have begun to arrest Mormons in Utah, for
| polygamy. The Mormons now in the same condi-
tion with relation to the General Government in
which the Rebels in 1861 They want to be let
alone.''
80
Dr. Carver's ''wild Vest Combination wanted to
show on Sunday, in Cincinnati but the authorities
refused them permission-not because 1T was i'm
moral but because it would Interfere with game of
| base ball near by.
Prof. Riley, of the Agricultural Department, says
we are to be visited by clouds of locusts this
summer Then half the in the cities will be
compelled to enlarge their parors, to give room for
the women to pin up specimens.
| At LAFAYETTE indiana a married lady attended the
Rink, fell in with a skater, and when her hus
band came home one night last week, there was a
grand march, of the bedroom, and both skaters
rolled in the distance, leaving the husband in
| possession of the floor.
1t is very narrowing to read the important news
filling two to columns day in the daily papers
about the bitter quarrel existing between Secretary
Bayard and President Cleveland. 1t is especially sad
when reflect that neither Cleveland nor Bayard
know any thing about it.
| Gen. Sheridan took another ride few days ago, in
a. iI,t fbaraf h
buggy upset. throwing him out. driving in his pick
cts and exposing his flank and rear to the enemy's
artfery-there go again. We always think OF
battle when Sheridan is in our mind.
Lillian Russell, the actress, horrided to wake
M one morning last week in New York and discover
that her pretty had swollen out of all shape, and
that she would be compelled to forego acting next
evening. Lillian had used poisonous paints to make
| her look pretty, and this was the result
="
The Columbus Dispatch says Mrs. Logan has sent
the General a supply of clean shirts, that he may
main in Springfield and look after his Senatorial
chances That it, If John goes struttng about
in a white shirt, he must every Republican vote
Not Democrat in that Legislature will touch him:
The dudes who solemnly notify the people of Ohio
that Gen. Beatty Gen. Kennedy, and such Republic
cans could not be elected Governor, good deal
like the Irish soldier: THE Ginral, he whisht
Boys is Patrick Murphy in the ranks - He is, SEE
T. Thin we're safe the Gnra let the battle
| proceed
There's BelI-wrfnger at Columbus, named Ralph
Stewart Ralph's wife is pretty. and went to the
Rink and skated with c. Fl. Bell. Ralph waited until
the Rink closed, and gave Bell good cOw-hiding
This will be the time many people will have
learned that it wrong skate with pretty woman
at a Rink.
Mrs. Annie Pershng, pretty young woman at
Pittsburgh, married clandestinely while attending
college Her husband got mad at her and went tt
Chicago and she killed herself. Now if she had
ried big-hearted. red headed. faced mar
with sense enough to love woman, she might have
been happy.
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The idiotic jabber about some of the men who have