New-York tribune., 1885-03-15
THE PLUMBERS SECRET.


;tb n plumber is nothing less than e startling
revelation. The sappersi and miners employed by
the garrison of the modern house 10 deiohd IL
AGAINST n deadly foe that has to be fought under
ground and in secret passages and cul de sacs nave
never been suspected of having romantic ADVENT
ures 1t has been supposed that there was enmity
between them and the women of the household.
Their unfortunate calling has rendered them
obnoxious to kitchen and parlor alike, since they
never come when they are needed and never go
until every woman in the house is in despair. few
families have ever seen plumber young and hand
some. with blue eyes and blond mustache, COM
petent and willing to captivate the fancy Oh q
middleaged matron and to break up the peace of
happy household The successful intrigue OF the
Brooklyn plumber shows that there is a workman
answering TO this description, and that woman's
preudice against this modern trade has been over
come in one instance. For once there was Joy IN
the household when q leaking pipe was discovered
or n drain -ppo fell under suspicion. The plumber
was welcomed when he came and there " as grief
when his work was done.
But we have spoken Of this curious episode as
revelation II is so because it explains one Oh the
great mysteries of modern life. Every observing
householder has been impressed with the thought
ful expression that steals over the plumbers grmy
face as he stands with downcast eyes gazing at
not OF burning charcoal. 1t is his characteristic
attitude Ile is not himself until the IRE mas been
kinded and he has remained on guard beside IL LOT
ot least three-ouarters Of an hour, lost in silent
contemplation of the glowing embers ana the
circling wreaths of blue smoke 1t Is vigil which
every plumber keeps with conscientious feeling
whether he is employed to weave tangled net
work of pipes In an unfinished house, or to lay bare
the plaring defects of tho plumbing OF the last
generation Ii IS only after period of profound
meditation that he is prepared to lift his eyes from
the charcoal stove and TO pronounce the strange
smell. which he has been hired to investigate rs
Enthusiastically "ratty.' Even when the Work Is
new and there are insidious foes TO be hunted
down he stands sentry before the fire ana ap-
parcntly struggles in solemn silence with thoughts
that are too deep for utterance. There IS no more
impressive figure in this serious world than that Oh
the speechless plumber, watching by the hour
beside the rude altar of his trade and breathing the
incense of carbonic acid And the one thing which
an nquisitive world has been trying to find ont ior
many wears is what the plumber is really thinking
about. what portentous thing is on his mind
and what is the secret of that far-of look in his
blinking eyes.
Many ingenious theories nave been advanced 10
explain the plumbers mysterious conduct IL has
been coniectured that he meditates daily upon the
fatny of building houses upon large gas holders oi
foul mir and of multiplying contrvances for
botting up between partitions and underneath the
cellar and then distributing in bedrooms. the most
,oi,nr ous gases known to chemistry IL has been
asserted that he is grievng in secret over the pre-
tensions of the sanitary engineer. who Is pro-
nouncrd a genius and benciactor for inyentng
costly appliances of uncommon uscessness. which
evory lack plumber knows leave the inmates of the
modern house completely at the mercy of sewer gas.
These and many other explanations have been
offered: but nobody has ever ventured to suggest
that there are sentimental reasons for his melan.
choly appearance and his preOccupicd manner as
he stands watching the charcoal burn.
| The plumber. indeed is the last man who would
he suspected of either inspiring or chershing tender
| feeling of tho kind that laughs at locksmths.
| Nobody has ever interpreted the queer COX In his
face as distinct, oily amatory. lIo has been credited
| with profound reflections upon theology, philoso-
phy. metaphysics. political economy. domestic
architecture and sanitary science but this knight
of the rueful countenance has never been charged
with being sentimental But the Brooklyn episode
| sbovs that he is nothing, if not sentimental The
| Numbers secret is out. That wistful glance at
| tbe charcoal-burner bespeaks n soul hungry for
| oaection. That stcadiast stare implies constancy.
Those glowing Goals in his mind are types OF
| passionate feeling.