Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-07-07
W.T. AND lllLMOi,.

"Hoh lilS hcN WIZ ualWP anu Tue nilhN W"'
And they crowded ttcir way through the soil
~ with pride. .
"hurrahl We are going to be mushroomsi'
they cried.
But the sun came up and the sun shonc
And the httlc white heads were shrivclcd aud
brown;
Long were their faces, their pride had fall
They were nothing but tuadstouls after nll
St Nicholas.
II is alleged that there is n mes
scngor-boy in this city so slow that his
shadow falls asleep while he is walking
-B Boston Post
An American claims that the north
pole is the site of the Garden of Eden.
Then Ewes preference of figs over seal
skin is explained; they cost moro and
had to be imported.
A young Boston lady writes to the
Boston loSt: "lIow should young
man kiss mcP' No young man will
kiss a Boston girl at all unless he wish
es to freeze to death.
A girl Incorporating in boys cloth
ing slipped and fell. She said: "OuchN'
and this gave her away. A man would
have been just as much hurt, but he
would have made different remark.
The following is a copy of bill
posted on the wall of country village:
"a lecture ON total abstinence will bo
delivered in the open air, and colloc-
ton will be made ut the door to dcfray
expenses"
a Western newspaper uses the fol-
lowing curious expression, seemingly
IN good faith, in the course of bit of
fine writing: 1--WE bid him cometh
and he comes, and we bid him goeth
and he goes.
''Do you think your father is going
to move out soon?' inquired the owner
of a rented house of the son of his ten
ant. Think So" was the reply; 1--WE
have begun using the window-frames
for tircwood. y
The male goldfish always takes care
of the eggs and young. The only peace
in life which the male Goldfish enjoys
is when he gets salted down and stored
away in country grocery. Bt"Stng-
ton (V.) Free Press.
"Do you know that there is great
difference between the country owl and
tnc boston OWE NO, ell,
there is; the uncultured bird, you
know, says 'Tu whit tn who, but the
| cultured one says, 'Tu whit III whom.
| Boston Budgek
Junior Partncr-''Our travelling man
ought to be punished. He told one of
our customers in Albany that | am an
| ignorant fool Senior Partncr-"i
| shall speak to him without fail and in
| sist that no more office secrets bc di-
| yulrcd. - Boston BcdcoH.
| No. Aramintha, yOu mistake; it is n
carbov which contains yilrini; COW
boy is very different kind of vessel,
| though. to he sure, it is frequently fill
| ed with something very like v.Lriol.
After all, it is not to be wondered at
that YOU confouuded the two, Boston
Transcript.
Extremes meeting: The Major, to
nephew who wants taking down bit,
he thinks-''What! you here, Percy!
Amt you rather young to be going TO
| balls?' Percy What, and you here,
too, Uncle! Why, should have
thought you'd given up this sort Of
thing long ago"-iuHch.
Historical Note. .-Plutarch says that
| Demosthencs made gloomy iilzle of
his first speech. This did not dis
! courage him; he finally became the
| smoothc,t orator in that country. and
it was no uncommon thing for him to
| ill the First Baptist thnrch Of Athens
1 full. .-- BW AYc, IN EostoH Giobc,
"Look here boy,' SAID the pompous
Deacon TruIygood to a ncwsDoy whom
he found dancing a jig on the pave
mcnt last Sunday, "do you know whose
day this is?'' II may be little of, -
answered the arab, squirting impu-
IDENTITY through one eye at his question
cr, "but guess You don't carry it
around in your vest pocket. - HaSh-
iagt0a Hdtchct.
minister forgot TO take MS sermon
with him to church, and his wife dis
covering the mistake sent it to him in
charge OF small boy, who was TO re-
ceiye ten cents for the job. Presently
he returned for the money. ''Gou de-
livered the sermon, did you?" she ask
ed. 81 jes' guy it to him; he's de-
| liyerin' of it himself. N-RciigiouS Her.
aid.
A new and popular game among
Philadelphia bellies is "bOws.h Two
young ladies walk down street logeth-
er, and the one to whom the most hats
are raised is the winner, and the other
| pays for the Icc-cream or soda-watcr.
When hat is raised to both it is called
a scratch" and counts neither. How
much the raising of a hat may mean!--
LOWeN Courier.
What kind of doctor am Dr..
Black?" asked Uncle Moses of an old
Austin darky. Zone OBJ de best eber
heard tell oh. Dar was man down
sick, and all de udder doctors in town
said he could not lib twcnty-four hours.
SO Dr. Black jes' tuck him in charge,
and de man libbed, sab. Instead OBJ
dying in twenty-four hours he libbed
thirty-six. sab. .'-IezaS Sytings.
Suppose" said an examiner to a
student in engineering, 'you had built
an engine yourself, performed every
| part OF the work without assistance,
and knew that it was in complete Or
| der, but, when put on the road. the
pump would not draw water What
would you doP" Il should look into
the tank and ascertain if there was
any water to draw said the student.
Father, please tell me what entails
mean, and if we have such law in the
United States" Father-''Under the
law of entails, my boy, the landed
property of the father is handed down
to the eldest son, successfully, genera
ton after generation, We have no
such provision in the United States.
Here the money generally goes to the
| lawyers who settle the fathers estate.