The Somerset reporter., 1885-05-13
Raiitpau Etiquette.

MlnN Dtutlt bb'>
their lives aud yet do not know now
70 behave themselves when on .no
rnod For the benefit and guidance
Of snch these few. crisp, plain, horse
sense rules of etiquette have peeh
framed. go. t,rp
to the right ON discovering an aP.
nroacbing train. If you wish 'he
train 70 turn out, give two loud too's
and cet in between the rails so lNat
von will not muss up the right Oh
way Many anice, new rlglt Oh way
has been ruined by getting pc"ts,
triau tourists spattercd all over lis
first mortgage. ,1 u,o
ON retiring at night on board tine
train do not leave your teeth III 'ne
ice water tank. II every one shoulu
do so, it would occasion great cohlu
sion in ease of wreck. EXperi
enced tourists tie string to their
taetb and retain them during the
night. .+romo
If YOU have been reared IN extreme
novertv and your mother supporter
Won until YOU grew up and married
So that your wife could support you,
Won will probably sit i'll four seats al
The same time, with your feet ex'
tended into the aisles so that you
can wipe them off on other people
while YOU snore with your mouth
omen. clear to your shoulder blades
If YOU are prone to drop to SLEEP
and breathe with a low, death rattle
like the exhaust of Il bath tub, i
would be IA good plan to tie up you
head in a feather bed and then Ill
scrt the whole thing i'll the llhei
closet. or if you cannot secure tnat
Won might stick it out of the window
and Get it knocked off against tun
mel. The stockholders of the roa'
MIGHT get mad about it, but yo'
could do it in such a way that the,
wouldn't know whose head it was.
Ladies and gentlemen should guar'
against travelling by rail while III
beastly state of intoXication.
In the dining car, while eating, az
not comb your moustache with you
fork. BY all means do not conf
vour moustaene with the fork OF an
other. 1t is better to refrain alto
cether from combing the moustach
with a fork while travelling, for tn
motion of the train might jab tn
fork into your eye and irritate 1t.
If YOUR dessert is very hot and yo'
do not discover it until you hav
burned the rafteIs out of the roof o
YOUR mouth, do not utter wild yel
of agony and spill your coffee a
over total stranger, but contrt
Yourself, hoping to know more mex
time.
In the morning is good time t
find out how many people have sue
+ rccdcl in getting on the passenge
train who ought to be III the stoc
l car.
Generally, you will find one nal
and one female. The male goes int
t the wash room, bathes his WORTHLESS
! carcass from daylight until breaktas
c time, walking on the feet of any ma
who tries to wash his face durln
: that time. He wipes himself on min
different towels, because when h
/; gets home he knows he will have t
4 wipe his face on an old door ma
+ People who have been reared Oil h;t
Y all their lives, generally want to ii
themselves full of pie and collie whe
they travel.
The female of this same mamm'
y goes into the ladies' department an
! remains there till starvation drive
her out. Then the real ladies HAY
about Is seconds apiece i'll which
q dress.
3 If YOU never rode in a varniShe
car before, and never expect to agail
you will probably roam up and dow
the car, meandering over the feet I
h the porter while he is making up I'll
>: berths. This is good way to II
), people see how little sense you ha
I left after your brain began to sOtte1
It In travelling do not take along
n lot Of clothes that you know you wi
c never wear
l. Never walk through car starin
everybody out of countenance, like
Jim Crow detective hunting for I'll
James boys, but mind your own bu
mess, be quiet, polite and patien
and see that your ticket takes yC
d over the Great Rock Island rout
It Then you will feel as though &c
!, n were among friends all the time, al
N you will leave the train with a pal
of genuine regret.-BiN Me-.