The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-09-03

education is observed. He don't care a
fiy for appearances, and has no use for
q knife and fork. He dives in
with both hands. and keeps his
mouth too full to talk until
everything in reach has disappeared.
and then he begins to forage on ada
cent territory, and steals pie from the
near-sighted woman at his elbow. III
my gifts were of the kind that find ex-
preston in marble, and wanted to
picture famine in permanent form. 1
would sculp the sclemn-faced man as
he looked with roast chicken in one
hand, little of everything else in
the other, and q good deal of
miscellaneous nutriment piled up
in front OF him, as he sat with
stony stare straight ahead, and jaws
going it like quartz-crusher in busy
season. The picture will long occupy
IA well-hghted nook in memory as about
the most energetic tableau of earnest
ness 1 ever stumbled against. very
much doubt whether the sad-eyed man
would have quit eating chicken at that
minute to listen to good preaching.
The red-haired man was also busy.
but his face contained rather too much
of sunlight to make him available for
allegorical purposes of dreadful
character. Though he probably man
aged to conceal from view more prov
ender than any one else in the party,
there was nothing SO very depressing
in the sight of him rs he did it. He
looked as if he enjoyed the feast. and
didn't act as though he was doing it on
a bet, but managed somehow to keep
his conversational works and laughing
machinery going at the same time his
masticaiing apparatus was in most
hurried operation. If you want to
have good time at picnic, you will
miss it If you don't take sorrel-top
along.
A woman is always a woman, but
more especially SO at picnic dinner
In tho unequal race of life the fragile
creature may not be able to hold
her own at all times, but she
does it at meal time, no matter where
she is or who is present. [ don't
mean to say that she gets her full
share of the eatables, in the strict sense
of the word, but she maintains the
characteristics of her sex, and never
for one instant forgets that she is
dressed in petticoats. When a man
gets beyond the restraints of draw
ing-room he ceases TO be human
being, and gnaws bone with as much
delight as a jackal; lint on the other
side of the house it is different A
woman never forgets THAT she has a
complexion that should be guarded or
q tongue thnt can gallop unbridled
wherever it wal. Instead Of grabbing
everything that comes handy, and put
ting it out of sight as soon as possible,
without any regard to whether her face
is fYescoed with jelly, her nose bios
soming with jam. or herscheeks glow
ing through butter, she minces a NOR
sci OF this, breaks of piece of that,
sakes mere ta.fte of the other, and
tries jast the smallest fragment of
something else, saying an the while
how drsadfully soGgy her own cake is,
as she knew it would be-. and told
Henry SD dozen times before they start
ed, and how deliciously good everybody
.else's provender is. and whasia shame
it is She should have spoiled the seast
by bringing a lot of trash nobody will
eat, DuJe JDtD she IDfSnb udfe hlltoWu
it. for she never cid have any luck
with this. that, or tlse other VIXEN she
was hurried.
And so il goes. Every woman rxns
down aeEr own truck asthe vilest- of the
vile and lands that Of everybody else
to the highest pinnacle OF perfection
And did, anybody evensee such heapsn-
ly this, or such ecstatic that, and ior
mercy's sake did anybody ever zee any
thing sC'grand as something eise,. and
how in this world was ID ever made-so
splendid every way; 60 tell, MRS. Top
NOTCH, for goodness cake :" And
pshaw! you don't saYa that's exactly
the way she made it herself; bat did
anybody ever see such a scandalOus
differenoe?i And While all the. fem
mime tsngues are rafting ID their
strategic efforts to pulsin compliments,
the meR eat up everything in sight OK
cept the custard pie.Claybank's baby
fell ints face down, and every woman
on the ground goes home hungry that
night, and one of these days will most
likely cell somebody IN contidenoothere
wasn't a thing fit to- eat except what
she took herself, and of course that
was eaten up at once by those wretched
men before she coul8 get taste.-Chi-
cago Ledger.