The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05

the meter. The gas flares, and sputfers and fickeEs, and blinks and winks. There is no use of talking, you will have to get a larger meter. Do you know there are forty-six burners in this house now, an dependent on that one poor little meter ? There ought to be a society f,r the prs- vention of cruelty to overworked gas meters. It's burning shame"
 Original joke by the author," inter- rupted Peletiah.
 "The Biles, the Bates, Colonel CEim- per and General Stagger, all use the electric light now, and why cannot we, Peletiah2"
 q guess tits because don't happen to own bank, railroad, a steamboat line or corner lot between Madison street and the mouth of the Chicago river"
 "Yes, bank discounts arc down to nothing, the railroads are all passing their dividends and going into the hands of re- ceivers; the steamboats are laid up all winter on account of ice and cannot pay running expenses in the summer On ac. count of low freights, and the real estate marke. is terribly depressed. But people must wear undershirts, MT. Peuigrew, and there is no reason that you should whine or whimper at your present busi- ness"
 "Who's whimpering2" dema anded Pet tigrew.
 "And there is no valid reason why we should not have the electric light and cleo tric bell"
 "Here comes lmogen, she's an cleo tric belle"
 This playful little bon-mot was con- contributed by Mir. Don Webfoot Petit grew. whom the reader has by this time, quite likely, recognized as the son of his parent.
 Miss Imogen Pettigrew, aged twenty. three years, entered the apartment at thal moment, bringing with her a passably attractive tace, a form modelled afer hel mothers, on a smaller scale, colorlcss blonde complexion and the sxict coun. terpart ot her brother Webfoot's swan like neck.
 "Maw" she said in a voice slightl, tinged with peevishness. "Maw, Pm
 But she made no further progress a, that particular juncture. The reason O her sudden abandonment of tho myste rious topic upon which she was ust en- tering was the unexpected entrance upon the fAmily circle of dark, 1.-the animal larger than a cat, bat lighter and nor, agile than a dog. This animal ran di rectly across Imogen's iees and having bounded airily against the slender limb' of Don Webfoot, sprang at single bound upon the broad shoulders of Peletiah Pet tigre~, crouching by the fireplace, anc from its apparently secure and rock rooted pedestal, chattered in fendist glee.
 Now there was no cat connected witt the house of Pettigrew.
 Neither were dogs allowed upon tn. premises.
 Then Imogen and her mother, joining their piercing shrieks in one wild, discor dant soprano, fled, pale and palpitating to the hallway. Don Webfoot Pettigrew with an agility only surpassed by the un welcome, hairy guest, landed on top O the piano, scattering the fragile Turkish Egyptian and Japanese bric-a-brac in one wild blizzard of broken crockery, ming. ling with the broad, white flakes of shoe, music containing the popular waltzes O Strauss, the weird, bilious agonies o Wagner and the metaphysical melodie. of Chopin. From this advantageous DO sition Webfoot endeavored to scale the glassy walls of the bookcase and the crash of breaking panes chimed with the tintinabulations of the lamenting females in the hallway.
 For a brief, breathless moment Peletiah Pettigrew remained before the fireplace in much the same attitude he had as. sumed during the congratulations of his wife. But in all candor we submit to the reader the absurdity of a staid, respecta- ble, South Side business man attempting e to retain his reputation for calm, unruf. lied dignity in the presence Of a panic stricken, demoralized and howling fam fly, with monkey on his back. And no, only on his back with one claw toying with his Adams apple, and the other playfully readjusting his withered tufts of hair long gone to seed, but actually nip ping with his teeth the poor, harassed business mans flesh
 It was much too much by a Texan Democratic majority. With hoares