The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1885-12-26
D. The Art Of Conversation

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The Art Of Conversation
& A trying ordeal it is for a woman to
4 break away from her home, where she
Il al ways lived and whore everything and
almost everybody whom she sees is
4 familiar, and enter a strange home,
q where nearly all are strangers and
q where many new acquaintances are to
q be acquired Next to her care. that she
4 shall look Welt, which is usually easily
\ provided for,5i a Foman's concern that
4 she shall appear to be intelligent, an
d END that she regards as Of uncertain at
3. tainment, because, her feelings greatly
pred ating over her sex, whose in
j tellect, she contrasts herself with the
other sex. whose intellect is more con-
4 spicious than hers. A natural timidity
4 arising almost exclusive in home exper-
4 fence, is sure to magnify every difficulty
4 and She approaches the ordeal with mis-
givings.
/ The principals that underlie CONVEX
!. sationaI ability full cover this case.
4 The very first requisite of all, compared
I With which all therest are insufficient,
/ is confidence, without no one can talk
/ well, neither privately nor publicly. 1t
I.comes in various ways to different
people, being Unborn in some, knocked
into others by contact with the world,
4 and in a conversational way. in the
i case of still Others often acquired by
practice under disciplining circurn-
stances. Bearing npon all these in
fstances lis, the. command that one has
over the language, and his ready use of
words. In short, good conversational
lists are born, as well as made. iii
With Unborn assurances and loquaci-.
ty, no one viii falter in conversation,
and, though his part may not. be well
sustained, he will be likely to Inonopo-
lize attention. It to these be added
practice, an extensive knowledge Of
| the world, varied reading and thought
/ full intelligence, spiced with storytell
| ing powers, a person will shine in con
Iversation above most Of his fellows and
may pardonably take the lead IN it. AT
the other extreme, one whose power.
over language is very limited, who has
been SO housekeeping that he knows
little Of the world, who is tiInid and
fears to trust himself in the nlazes of
connected sentences, and never has
conyersed much will be a failure con
yersationally, no matter how intelli-
gent he may be. The average person is
a mean between these extremes.
The average lady will gain confidence
when she finds herself constantly where
she needs it, and, with ordinary COM
lnand of language, she may decidedly
~ rove her con 6llai a butt
whether she may hope ever to become
a leader is Notwithstanding not if |
she is in the presence of a gifted taJker.
though otherwise she may train her
self to take a stand in the front rank
among others. Practice must be per-
sisted IN constantly, taking advantage
of every opportunity to converse, and
making a study of the matter. News
papers should be read thoroughly, for /
they supply subjects that are timely /
and often much in addition. Taking
care to note the subjects that may be
conyersed about, the reader viii culti-
waite her memory and provide herself
with ready material OF discussion.J
The fresh and best literature of the
day outside OF newspapers should be-
treated in the same way
Ladies usually narrate the Incidents
OF their lives, both great and small, re-
mote and recent, feelingly and enter
tainingly, and these may be depended
upon for conversational stock, where
proper. They should be enjoined to-
acquire an intellectual comprehension
of the affairs of the town or city
where they live, OF their State, and
even of the Nation, not only current
events, but historical. Thus prepared,
the average lady, keeping in good
practice, will have a capital start for
conquest, and will them
be able to do well ON higher plane of
subjects of a more abstract and intel
ectual nature. 70 sustain a CONVEX
satlon of this kind much reading of the
best sort and considerable study areIt
necessary, the particulars Of which
would need a special article for their
treatment.
But it should be remembered that one
should possess an art in conversation
beside talking the art of making 9TH $
rs talk. One who is a genius in. this
social duty may monopolize most of 1 !
ihe time and SO charm his hearers that I
hey will be content to be silent, buff {
ne is not a genius he may make him {
'elf obtrusive and call forth unpleasant
criticisms. Thefefore,to give TO others !
III opportunity to talk, who may stand \
n danger of finding none, a talented 8
will ascertain their |
sayorita aud most familiar fields of I
snonledge for purposes Of enticement.
SooSl suggestions of subjects for 9TH t
srs' conversation are sometimes morej /
advisable for one than taking the lead I
However easy conversation may be UNI
1ersether circumstances. the most M 1
fortunate and unsatisfactory attempt i
will be found to be in q miscellaneous t
mail assenblage, en,ieayoriag to sus-
ain only one subject. when the assem- $
olage ought to be divided into groups. s
ZACH engTossed with its own topics. I1
.sfYlvevsa tir.,,ar rntrar- flYxs.,s r.,or "a III