The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1885-02-05
THE GOAT MUST GO.
How Dude Assisted AN old Gentlema
tn Escape.


That rugged. though not exactly pic
ture>que. part of New York City which
first greelS every traveller from the
north to that city. and which has been
immortalzed by the comedies of liar
rig IN and Hart, is about to be stripped
of one of lis most prominent features.
I The shanties that adOrn its rocks will
still remain. but doom has been pro-
nonnced upon the goat that has become
native 10 the soil III Su II word can
be applied to the barren trap rock on
which they browse.
The animal has multiplied until he
has become a nuisance. and. owing TO
his increasing numbers, even the bill
boards and the tomato cans cannot
yield him sufficient nutriment He is
even accused of consuming the iron
IA alings of the fine mansion, which ara
SncrOaching upon his habitat. and of
undermining the brown stone fronts
whi.h have of late We rs been erected
there.
One of the new residents in these
mansions has actually lodged COM
plaint against these Misunderstanding
utterly unknown before to even the
oldest inhabitant in that vicinity. There
is talk of an Indignation meeting to
give expression 10 the feeling which
this ''upstart" has provoked among 4he
old citizens.
Bat he trusts TO the justice of his
cause and the extent of his grievance:
The goats have pushed out and broken
one OF the stone posts of the railing on
his front doOrsteps. These steps are
always full of goats. and recently one
of them being chased by dog ran up
the steps and jumped through plate
glas- window into his parlor. Under
these circumstances he has complained
to the police.
Another recent resident, very Young
man. has also tale of misery to tell.
He was calling on his best girl whose
father made fun of his pipe-stem legs
and his dude coat-tails sticking below
the edge of his overcoat. On his wav
home late on the night when the ''old
man" went to his club he met that geIl-
tleman interviewing goat which had
attempted to back him off the sidewalk.
The old man had seized the animal bY
tie horns and was trying to back it in
to some policeman and have it arrested.
The contest was an exceedingly close
o. and it looked when the dude came
up as if only an official count could set
tie it.
Here, then, was the young mans
lOng-cOyeted opportunity 10 make a.
friead of the old one. He would res
cue him from his predicament and win
his daughters hand by means of the
old mans gratitude. His offer of help
was gladly Welcomed. He was rectedi
TO take hold of one horn of the animal
He di so. and the old gentleman, pick
ing up his hs1 and cane, skipped mer-
rily home.
Now the difficulty of taking one horn
is just the same in the case of the goat
as it is in other cases. When you have
taSen one horn You feel like taxing an
other. In fact you have to. for you will
be more likely To be upset when you,
take one Ihan if you take two. So
the young fellow took another and
found himself in worse plight than,
the old gentleman was in: for there was.
no one TO relieve him. The goat ran
b. III down one avenue, then across an
other street and up another avenue,
until, instead of being taken to po-.
LEGISLATION itself, it lacked the dude up
To one and had the pleasure of seeing
Ia m arrested Is 4 disorderly person.;
while the goat. initiating the old gentle-
man, tOOS its cheerful way homewa ard.
This young man has ioined the cru,
SADIE against the goat population of that
vicinity.