davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20

ed; he was smiling s~erenely and his eyes
were fixed with an expression of perfect
understanding on the countenance Of Miss
White.
Bring MYRTLE he continued laughing
ly. This is Myrtlel Rival Myrtles there
may be; but this form of Myrtle can't be
improved upon!''
Again Miss Whites pupils enlarged sym
pathetically. Worse and worse. Poor
Colonel Haldane. She trembled for his
reason. Not so Mrs. Danvers. Fixing
him with her bright eyes, she said: What
isexplained? Confusion of circumstances"
Confusion of envelopes. Bring Myrtle
was scrubbed on the wrong back-that's
all, . said Colonel Haldane.
With a sudden illumination Miss White
sank down beside Colonel Haldane III the
recess, with a deep blush of mortified con-
fusion.
"Does that account for the presence of
the Towering myrtle in the hall? ," she ask
ed, after a moment of Mortified silence.
Eyes; charming mistake for me, > NUT
tered Colonel Haldane. Give me an oppor-
tunity that T. and he looked at Mrs.
Danvers, who, with a finesse worthy Of
her, dashed away to the other end of the
room to meet the extended hand of an
apropos acquaintance. He wen on smooth
ly enough new. IAN opportunity that
wanted. VIII you one day wear a sprig
of that other myrtle for me, Florence ?"
Miss White didn't say mo" so she evil
IDENTIFY intended to say yes
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20
THOUGHTFUL SAYINGS.

We live in the lives of others more than in
our own
Imagination is a libertine that disrobes
everything it covets.
Faith puts a strengthening plaster to the
back of courage.
Whatever makes men good christians
makes them good citizens.
The dependence of the mind on the senses
is seen in the fact that the deaf and dumb
are apt to be stupid.
A good deed is never lost; he who sows
courtesy reaps friendship, and he who
plants kindness gathers love.
Kisses by people who no longerlove each
other are merely collated yawns.
Every true desire from a child's heart
finds some true answer in the heart of God.
God has two dwellings-one in heaven,
and the other in a meek and thankful heart.
Experience is a trophy composed of all
the weapons that we have been wounded
with.
There is small chance of truth at the
goal where there is not a childlike humility
at the starting post.
The tears of the child of God have more
of the element of happiness than the laugh
ter of the ungodly.
The charity which thinketh III evil is a
wiser craftsmanship than the misanthropy
that thinketh no good.
A wide, rich heaven hangs above you,
but it hangs high; a wide, rough world is
around you, but it lies low.
If a mar speaks and acts with a pure
thought, happiness follows him, like a
shadow that never leaves him.
Virtue will catch as well as vice by con-
tact; and the public stock of honesty, man
ly principle will daily accumulate.
Some teachers in the New England pu b.
lie schools are intoxicating the use of the
pronoun '.thon.'' ''Thon'' is impe rsonal
and of singular number. When the teach
er desires to inculcate the fact that every
body must get his or her lesson, or he or
she will get his or her ears pulled" the
teacher, in a cabalistic way, says that s'ev-
erybody must get thon lessons, or thon ears
will be pulled" The teachers say that it
is of great use and is taking the public rap
idly. Ithasi its dangerous features, perhaps.
At any rate the folks at home who don't
allow the children to get ahead of them
should be warned in time. Let everybody
look out when thon child comes home
some day with thon thon.
r. J. Burdette has written an epic on
the baby, consisting of one stanza. Here
it is:
'He's come where he'll have to scratch tor his
grub,
And reach out for every thing he gets;
He'll weep when they first douse him into the
tub.
And he'll get shaken up when he frets.
They'll think he's mart when he first learns
to crawl,
And they'll go into fits when he talks;
And he'll have the most fun when he's very,
very small.
For he'll have to go it alone when he walks"
Il saw your advertisement for a young
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20

The following, from an exchange, so full
ly and freely expresses our views on the
subject that we commend it to our readers:
you have an undoubted right to stop a
newspaper when you feel disposed, upon
the payment of all arrearage. Do not hes
itate TO do so ON account of tenderness to
the editor. Don't you suppose he would
quit buying sugar of You, or meat, cloth
ing. dry goods, etc., if he thought he was
not getting his moneys worth and why
should you not exercise the same privilege
with him? And when you discontinue a
paper. dc so manfully; don't be so spiteful
as to throw it back to the postmaster with
a contemptuous i don't want it any long
er . and have Refused written on the
margin, and have the paper returned to the
editor. No gentleman ever stopped it in
that way, no matter if his head is covered
with gray hairs that should be honorable.
If you do not wish to receive a newspaper,
write a note to the editor like a man, say
ing so-and be sure that arrearages are
paid. This is the way TO stop a newspa-
per. This advice is according to law and
equity"
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20
VOL II.
THE DOCTORS STORY.

Deacon Rogers, he came to me:
'sWife is agoin' to die said he.
doctors great an doctors small,
Haven't improved her any at all.
'Physic and blister, powders and pills,
And nothing sure nut the doctors bills!
"Tweaty women, with remedies new,
Bother my wife the whole day through.
"Sweet as honey, or bitter as gall
Poor old woman she takes 'em all.
"Sour or sweet, whatever they choose;
Poor old woman, she daren't refuse.
$50, she pleases whoe'er may call,
An Death is suited the best of all.
''Physics and blister, powder II pill
Bound to conquer, and sure to kill
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20
ONE MILLION NY u; = y; s :: !: s; &
'ukuA Tho only hikfn

nv Of our government from 1861 to 1881. Hon.
John 5. Wise, NJ. G. from Va, says: 8 Whoever
takes il up, no matter lphethef he be Mr.. Btdtne's
friend or enemy. spiW nerer put IL doton unit ne
has read the aohote.n Bg- $500 per month
paid good. responsible agents. Apply AT once.
The HENRY BILL PUB. CO.. Norwich. Conn.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20

One of the transatlantic steamship lines
is about to issue tickets emitting passen-
gers to merely lodging and conveyance,
meals to be charged for at the end Of the
voyage, according to what the passengers
have eaten.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20
FEBRUARY II, lsS,.

A picture of the early dawn,
When as l hasten DER h lea,
With boon companion Of the morn,
counsel hope, but think of thee.
A picture of the laughing noon,
When Ger the rustic bridge | ride
And dare interpret friendships rune
For thou alone art by my side.
Apicture when the day has fed,
And with it all my fears are gone,
And troops of stars by Astrea led
Are ~marshalled in the heavenly
The story morn and noon and night
Bear witness to my love and thine.
The moral they who choose Alright
shall guard and prize my rdtcattae.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20

A license bill has been introduced into
the Minnesota Legislature providing for
the issue of s. permits to all such male
adult residents of the State as can prove
to village trustees, town superintendent
or city aldermen that they are only moder-
ate drinkers, and that their families will
not suffer through their indulgence.
Every resident who drinks i'll a saloon or
public place must have such a permit, and
infraction of the law will be punished by
fine. A special committee has recommend
ed the passage of the bill, which is re-
garded by its author as a pratical solution
of the liquor problem .-St Pmal Pioneer
Press.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20

II saw your advertisement for a young
man of good address, " remarked an appli-
cant for a vacant position, ''and | thought
| would call in reply. My address is Bos-
ton, Mass, and if that isn't as good as the
best, | should like to know where you will
find a better one
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20

Mrs. Rogers lay in her bed,
Bandaged and blistered from foot to head.
Blistered and bandaged from head to toe,
Mrs. Rogers was very low.
Bottle and saucer, spoon and cup,
On the table stood bravely up;
Physics of high and low degree;
Calomel, catnip, boneset tea;
Everything a body could bear,
Ex cepting light and water and air.
/ opened the blinds; the day was bright,
And God gave Mrs. Rogers some light.
1 opened The window the day was fair,
And God gave Mrs. Rogers some air.
Bottle and blisters, powders and pills,
Catnip, boneset, syrups and squills:
Drugs and medicines, high and low,
| threw them as far as l could throw.
"What are you doing? ' my patient cried;
"Frightening Death coolly replied.
"You are crazy ~ n visitor said
I flung a bottle at his head.
Deacon Rogers, he came to me:
"Wife is a-gettin' her health" said he.
81 really think she will worry through:
She scolds me just as she used to do.
GAIL the people ave poohed an slurred-
And the %neighbors have had their word;
"Twere better to perish, some of EN- say,
Than be cured in such an irregular way"
sYour wife" said /, chad Gods good care.
And His remedies, light and water and air.
"Al1 the doctors, beyond "A doubt,
Couldn't have cured Mrs. Rogers Without
The deacon smiled and bowed his head;
."Then your bill is nothing he said.
Goods be the glory, as you say,
God bless you, doctor. g%ood-day good-da,
If ever / doctor that woman again,
I'll give her medicine made by men.
VIII u. Carleton
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20

The letters posted annually in the world
are 5. 900, 600. 600.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20
THE wHEELMAN,s VALENTINE.

One of the handsomest and most unique
and original ideas in chromo-lithography is
the Columbia Valentine. just issued by the
Pope Manufacturing Co., of Boston, Mass.
The design, which is in twelve colors and
mounted upon a panel, is a genuine work
of art. The picture, from a painting by
Copeland. of Boston, is artistieally divided
into three scenic sections: the first, a view
of early sunrise, with fine atmospheric ct
feet. represents the wheelman's morning
ride: the centre scene, appropriately framed
by the tire of an Expert bicycle, isa strik-
ingly beautiful view of picturesque eoun-
try, a lady riding upon a tricycle. accom-
panied by a mounted bicyclist, crossing a
rustic bridge in the foreground; the last
scene is a wheel by moonlight, the bright
rays of the hub-lights cutting the semi
darkness. Upon the back of the panel the
following descriptive poem is ta~stefully
.Ll
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-02-20

If ever l doctor that woman again,
I'll give her medicine made by men.
VIII u. Carleton.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-01-28
PRESENT ASPECT OF MT. VERNON.

ran down to Mount Vernon one day
last week. As Americas boss show-place
1t is rather failure. 1t doesn't seem pos
sible that the story is true that the Father
OF his Country once threw silver dollar
across tho Potomac there, though they say
that dollar went further in those old an
Gent days than it does now. The antique
ice-nouse which they call his Iomb is not
dilapidated, but 1t is plain TO the edge of
ugliness Here's where relic-hunter
broke off one of the pickets last year, ex.
claimed the guide. Who's Alec Hunter ~
asked curious auditor One of the oddesi
things at Mount Vernon is light, wooden.
arched gate, once painted white, thrown
across the path to the smolte-house like A
triumphal arch. 1t isn't as large as Titus's
and would about furnish kindling wood to
build two fires. A metallic plate upon the
side announces that this was erected as a
tribute to the +. of his @. by the munif-
cence of the Merrill brothers. The whole
structure must have cost them about 81
that is, the woodwork l don't sup-
pose the plate cost a great deal in addition.
for they probably contributed the brass Out
Of their own faces. This is to notify the
patriotic Merrill boys that the gate is sadly
in need of 25 cents worth of paint or ditto
OF somebody's little Ratchet
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-01-28
A TELL.TALE CLOCK,

An Amusing story comes from Paris. Tht
'ther day lady, having paid her hotel BILL
'ent away her boxes on cab and sailed
forth on foot. No sooner had she departed
than the landlord discovered that the clock
had disappeared from the mantelpiece of
the room which his late lodger had been
occupying, though he remembered to have
seen it there subsequent to her trunks being
despatched. Convinced that she must be the
thief he rushed out in hot pursuit, and
oyertaking her, he charged her with the
robbery and gave her into custody, the lady
meanwhile protesting loudly against the in
dignity offered her. aud vowing vengeance
against the traaueer. She was, however.
taken before the .jage Gi1astguction, to whom
she resumed her torrent of indignant denial
with the extraordinary yolubility peculiar
to the daughters OF Gaul Her indignation
was ut it's height when, 10 12 o'clock rang
forth IN clear tones from tho region of mad
ame's dress improyer. The expression of
CONSERVATION depicted upon the fair pilfer-
er's countenance, together with the Apostle
ness of the quaint phenomenon, were too
much for the gravity of the officials, who
burst into fit of uncomfortable laughter.
Five minutes later a female warder returned
the tell-tale timepitci to its owner.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-01-28
NO. 6S1
THE MOTHERS CUT.

You can always tell a boy whose mother
cuts his hnir by the way he stops in the
street and wriggles his shoulders. When
fond mother has to cut her boys hair she
draws the front hair over his eyes, and
leaves it there while she cuts that which is
1t the back. The hair which lies over his
eyes appears to be surcharged with electric
needles, and that which is silently dropping
down under his collar band appears to be
ON fire. She has unconsciously pushed his
head forward until his nose presses his
breast. In the meantime he is seized with
an irresistible desire to blow his nose, but
40 recolleots that his handkerchief is in
the other room. Then fly lights on his
nose, and does it so unexpectedly that he
lnvoluntarily lodges and catches the point
of the shears in his left ear. At this he
commences to cry and wish he was a man.
But his mother doesn't notice him. When
she is through she holds his jacket collar
bnek from his neck, and, with her mouth,
blows the short bits of hair from the top OF
his head down his back. He calls her at
tention to the fact, but she looks for new
place in his head md hits him there, and
'sks him why he didn't use his handker-
chief. Then he goes out and wriggles to
get the hairs out of his neck, and wonders
what the other boys will say to him. PAfla
delpdit CdR.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-01-28
A GIRLS BROTHER.

Most every girl when she gets young
man is more or less annoyed by the inter-
ference of her brother Most every girl
stands in more or less dread of her brother.
And it is just rs well this should be so. II
romantic notions enter her head and she
carries them into effect, she is rather more
concerned as to what the brother will do
and say than as to what will happen with
father and mother. At the worst, from the
parents will come dscountenance. The
young and hot-hesded brother is liable to
load his revolver. The answer to the aues-
ton in a preceding paragraph is easy
enough. It is the duty and right of the
brother to make himself acquainted, first OF
all, with the character of his sister to know
in what degree she is capable of taking care
of herself. To note well the sort of men
which please her. Then il he thinks she is
q girl of sense and not to be triAed with, and
he worries her with constant espionage he
is a fool. If she is gildy and reckless then
should he be on guard, but not so much so
and 80 openly rs to give the impression that
his sister is an idiot or worse. The brother
should never forget that if his conduct
shows he cannot trust his sister, everybody
else will take her at his valuation. In any
event, the brother should keep closely in
mind the small but somewhat important fact
that it is his sister who is TO do the marry
ing and not himself, and that while no
doubt she would be pleased to give him q
brother-in-law he could like, it is natural
she should prefer above oil things hus
band TO her own taste. Progress.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-01-28
SKATING Kinks AND THEATRES.

young lady member of a strictly legiti-
nate one-play dramatic company Just of
The road says that in the Western cities
lime museums and roller slsating Kinks are
making the former profits of theatrical bust
ness well nigh impossible. The dime muse
ums of to-day, she says, relies more upon
its stage performance for nm attraction than
it does upon the natural curiosities kept in
stock and which can nowadays be seldom
improved by securing rare and genuine
specimen of anything. These stage per-
formances consist almost entirely of the
moral phases Of variety business, while not
few old minstrel men open to the wild en-
thusiasm of childhood the chestnuts" that
40 pail upon the taste of the blase amuse,
ment seeker.
As for the roller skating, it is passion,
and has been growing for three or more
years, its inception dating further back thnr
The beginning of the same craze in the me-
ropolis and its vicinity. The roller skaters
West are for the most part skate owners
and the Kinks depend for their profits upon
admission fees, coat room fees and the in
come from soda water, candy stand and
skating booth privileges for their receipts
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-01-28
THE NEW YORK POST OFFICE.

During The year there were delivered
a46,Sl9 pieces of ordinary mail matter, d.
vided as follows Letters through boxes,
II GEO, 1872 by carriers, 1901 ,784 postal
cards through boxes, 9,277, 1888; by Carl
ers, 32, 225, 900 other mail matter through
boxes, 3S, 082, 55l by carriers, 81, G6S, $50.
In tho registered letter department, 1,093,-
$40 pieces were delivered, and / ,133, 29i OF
domestic and 54S, 99l of foreign origin re-
corded and distributed to their Offices. In
The distribution department the total Of
j48, 100, $50 pieces handed were divided MS
follows Letters Of local origin, IS, 1885,
$50; received by mail, 1867, 59S from
foreign sources. 20,5s2 ,448; postal cards
of local origin, 7,70S, 500; received by
mail, 4,4l4, 30S foreign sources, 2,672, PIT
The total number of pieces of mail matter
S26, 483, 1856, a daily average Of 2,2G4, 33S
The ordinary mail matter handled was con-
tanned in 232, 452 lock pouches and 1853,
s22 sacks, besides which there were hand.
led 1903 cases and 1T, 1893 pouches OF reg.
lstered matter and 2,0l8 pouches and H.
0SS sacks of supplies.
There also passed through the New York
Post Office in transit from and to other Off
COS AS, I'll pouches and 81. APT sacks of mail
matter, making total of ,S67 ,594 pouches,
cases and sacks handled at the Office a
daily average of 5,117, exclusive Of those
which the fourteen branch offices exchang
cd with each other and with general Office.
The number of employees is 1,643, who's.
aggregate pay is 81 ,487 $50.
The increase in business this year is about
Two per cent over last year.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-01-28
LIFE ON THE LEvEEs.

The leyees which skirt the river front Of
New Orleans afford many interesting sights
to the observer Of human nature, both in
the day time and at night. The lowest scum
Of the city make the leyees, in the vicinity
Of the cotton-boat landings, place Of re.
sort and place where they can lie ont in
the warm rays of the seni-tropical sun and
bathe themselves in its glory to their hearts
content without molestation from anyone.
Along the front of the levees, which slope
gradually to the waters edge, the negro ele-
ment congregate perpetually, day and night,
and as soon as one of the monster Mssis-
sippi cotton-boats makes landing, they
rush to it in their desire to help roll of the
bales of cotton and receive therefor O small
amount Of money and q, large amount OF
blasphemy from the mate, who is proyerbial
IN the region of the Mississippi for the in.
ventive faculty of originating new and hor.
sible invectives, which are hurled at poor
Sainbo in massive and unheeded quantities.
This Is not the best of their efforts TO get
the negroes latent and sometimes mover
resuscitated activity into play. have often
seen one kicked clear into the river, upon
which he would arouse himself sufficiently
to SWIM in upon the levee and return TO his
work, it Is needless to say, with renewed
energy. - Coqrsspondence Portland Tran,
script.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-01-28
WHAT A SOLAR ENGINE is LIKE.

Considerable expectation has been excited
in scientific circles by Ericsson's latest solar
engine, Us it is termed-that is, deriving its
power directly from the SUMS heat. As de-
scribed, this apparatus consists, briefly, OF
two parts, the generator and the engine.
The first named presents q large concave
reflector in the form of cradle or trough
so arranged upon a central pivot MS to be
constantly exposed to the vertical rays of the
sun the solar rays falling upon the reAec-
tor are concentrated upon q horizontal tubu.
lar heater placed above it, this heater being
supported upon side pillars, which are also
hollow and, like tho heater, contain water.
The heater aud its supports combined form,
in fact, steam boiler, since, when highly
heated by the SUMS rays concentrated upon
it, the water is converted into steam, by
which the engine is operated. The princi-
pal dimensions of this ingenious apparatus
are given as follows: Reflector, eleven feet
long by sixteen feet broad heater, six and
one-fourth inches in diameter by eleven feet
long, exposing 1874 square inches to the
action of the reflected solar rays.