The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-15
he LITTLE Gem Clrcas,

sAh! good morning." said brisk,
nattv little fellow, walking right il on
the Topics Of tho Time" ferf. and trip
ping highly over cuspidor, = repre-
sent the Little Gem GScus."
I'VE have thrown of on circuses.s
snapped the serf "Theso grand con-
catenations"
I'VE hsve not got . single concstenar
ton. We don't carry them any more.
They are altogether to common. In
fact. we are drawing our circus very
mild this season"
why, hsvent you got 5000 let of
venomous serpents?s
mot foot-not even . dead garter
snake in . bottle OF alcohol. Boa con-
strictors and pythons are out Of style. "
Don't you advertise three miles Of
golden chariots, headed by nineteen
silver-plated bands, . steam calhope, .
galaxy OF Circassian beauties, sixteen
educated stations, bass drum with two
leads, o dozen ei~hty-one ton elephants
and twenty six timber jointed scrobsts
on bicycles?"
mo, o, no,r answered tho advance
agent, with sickly smile hovoeing IN
the corners Of his mouth. sWe drive
into town with IN old lumber wagon
and : trotting sdlky. Onr elephant.
Henry Ward Beecher, died last season
Of hay fever and onr beauty ei0ped
with one Of the canvas men We have
got : pretty middling good snare drum
mer. and Bohemian with flute lip
who blows the fife. That Is orr band
"Of course yon havs the wonderful
gigantic Bovolapus which sweats blood,
and disembowels camel-leopardss
well. no, you see our Bovolapus was
III last fall, and was Laid mp IN the
Marine Hospital for nix weekA He
finally escaped by chewing mp the hos
pital steward. three guards and the
physician or night watch But he was
never the same Bovolapus afterwards;
he dropped. pinned away, and one MORN
ing We found him dead in the horse
tent
sYou don't seem 10 have many ~
fractions. that's fact. Ofcourse you
have the witticst clowns in the world p
~CloNnsl O, no. sir Only one clown,
md he " o blsmei fool regular
bowling idiot. Some OF MS old jokes
ere covered with cobwebs. AID hesides
that he il blind in Que eve, knee.sprung
, in the left leg. aud diving with consump-
tion. hardly expect no will live to got
here with the show. But Il will be .
small loss"
sOf course You have three ringsr-
~On the contrary, we have only hall
: ring. We send the old plug OF = pad
horse half way around circle, and there
Is . turn-table 1t the end, Ike single
track or line. We then head him the
other way, build fire under him. and
be joys hack on o slow trot.
\ II dont see what ron can want with
the assistance Of IN influential newspa.
per like OUR" said the opics Of the
Time" man. "You do not ssem to want
70 advertise anything. o. rather you dc
not appear 70 have anything TO adver
tise.s
| Advertise! Death on ! cream horse
no! What came in for is to sec how
much you fellows will take 10 stay away
from the show and say nothing about Il
! Name your figures, and il they are any.
where between sour toddy and sixty
dollars. I'll cash right in. Can VI
tradef"
| The "Topics" nam Wa thus easily
corrupted, but it was noticed by CD,
maDaging editor that when he returnet
from . trip round the corner b com
pany with the advance agent. he We
lall Of inspiration, and Il required th,
whole force to restrain him from giwinl
the Little Gem Circus . prelimina1.
write ap.-Teras SUtiasgs.