davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-02-20

RIsQUE! BIsQUE! BISQUE Call and see
- the large assortment of Bisque Statuettes in
beautiful designs at A. q. WARFIELD'S,
dec17 152 King street.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-02-20

a that sold last Fall at $1.25, now selling for
70 Cts, BY lfeb<l AMOS B. sLAYMAKER.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-02-20

MOCHA, Java, Maracasibo, LaGusyra and Bio
Iil Cofees, of finest quality, for sale, green or
roasted, by
jan20 JC. AILBURN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-02-20

ERIENDs OF THE BOAT CLUB AND AL
y e1andria Light Infantry, should call and see
Flower Stands in design of Canoe and Military
Vases suitable IS presents for respective organi-
zations. [deo11l SUMMERS & ALLEN. Z
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-02-20

EoR BEAUTY OF CABINET WORK, for ease
L of motion, for simplicity, for wide range of
work for durability, few are equal and none su-
perior to the New Home Sewing Machine. For
sale on reasonable terms by
;ano1 CHAPMAN. 1O2 King street.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
DRAFTS ON The FUTURE.
How the Chinaman Makes Provisions fol
His Comfort After He Ia Dead,

How the Chinaman Makes Provisions for
His Comfort After He Is Dead.
A man In China endowed with much
forethought can make some provision
for his own future comfort. The priests
have considerably organized bank for
the spirit world. To this the provi-
dent may remit large sums during their
lifetime, and can draw on the bank as
soon as they reach the dark country.
The priests periodically announce their
intention of remitting money on GER
tain day, and invite all who have any to
deposit to bring it. All who feel doubt
full of the generosity OF their next heirs
accordingly come and buy from the
priests as much as they can afford Of the
tinfoil paper money, which is current
among the spirits. 1t is an excellent
Investment, as for handful of brass
cash, altogether worth about one penny,
they will receive sycee, i. e., the boat.
shaped blocks Of silvery looking tinfoil,
bearing a spiritual value of about $50.
Paper houses, furniture and clothes may
in like manner be purchased and stored
beforehand in the happy security that
neither moth nor rust shall corrupt
them, neither shall thieves break
through and steal. When the depos-
itor probably poor coolie or an aged
beggar) has invested his little savings
in this precious rubbish in the ecclesi-
astical bazaar he delivers it to priest,
together with sum of real money as
commission. For this the priest gives a
written receipt. All this din is thrown
into a large boat. 1t is a framework Of
reeds with bamboo mast, and its sails
and planking are of paper. When all
the depositors have made their pay
ments, the priests walk several times
round the boat, chanting some incanta-
ton, then simultaneously set fire to both
ends, and the paper fabric vanishes in a
flash of flame. The priests bid the de.
posters keep their certificates with all
care, and give them to some trustworthy
person to burn after their decease,
whereupon the said certificates will
reach them safely in the dark world,
and they can draw the money as re.
quired. All this seems to be implicitly
believed by whole great nation, who
in all other respects are probably the
most astute business race in the world
Such is the strange power of grovel
ing superstition. British Quarterly Re
CielD.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
A SERvIcEABLE GOOSE.
The Gander Which was Worth More Dea
Than Alive.

The Gander Which was Worth More Dea,
Than Alive.
Dwellers along the Willowemoc, in
the Beaverkill region, have lost mucl
poultry from their premises recently
Two weeks ago William Schoonmakei
found one of his geese dead in his barn
yard. Marks on it showed that it hat
been killed by n weasel. Using tn,
goose for bait, Shoemaker set traI
for future intruders. The first night h,
caught weasel. The bait was still
good, and the next night skunk fel
into the trap. The goose still held it
own, and Schoonmaker set it again
Nothing was canght that night. In tn,
forenoon of the third day, however, two
large hcnhawks fell victims to the tempt
ing bait, and in the afternoon a thirc
swooped down upon it and staid. The
fourth night the goose did service in tn,
trap it euticed a red fox to the trap,
close embrace. The fifth night another
skunk took the chances on getting away
with the goose, and was added &c
Schoonmaker's collection. Then Q
neighbours dog was weak enough to cast
a longing eye on the goose, and Schoon
maker had to call his owner over to take
him out of the trap.
The sixth night the trap disappeared,
but the goose, looking as though some
thing had handled it roughly, was still
on the premises. After a hunt in the
adjoining woods the trap was found in
Il tree, hanging TO the foreleg of a
wildcat. A load of buckshot recovered
the trap and increased Schoonmaker'
stock of fur by one wildcat skin. The
seventh night the goose was still in
condition to take its old place in the
trap. That night it captured one Of
Schoonmaker's own cats. The next
night it took in neighbours cat. The
ninth night one of Schoonmaker' dog:
so far forgot himself as to step up and
daily with the alluring bait, and when
his owner went out in the morning the
trap held Towser by the jaw. Thea
Shoemaker made up his mind that
the goose was ahundantly avenged, ans
he cast it in the sty to the pigs. The
goose was gander.
ut was kind Of that weasel, p" sale
Schoonmaker. ito select that goose.
might have killed it for Christmas aud
invited lot of friends to dinner, ant
wouldn't | have felt cheap when l wen
to carve it?'-Phiiadetphia Times.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
A LABOR SAVER.
Some Interesting Calculations as to thu
Value of Household Conveniences.

Some Interesting Calculations as to the
Value of Household Convenience.
1t is said of some young genius, with
profound sympathy for his own trials,
and good head for figures, that ht
calculated the announcement location o.
the pump and the wood-shed with
reference TO the kitchen door, had
caused him, in the performance Of hi
arduous duties as the family chore boy,
to walk just two hundred and fifty
three yards a day more than wa,
necessary, or more than a mile q week
Whatever may have been the result t.
the boy, whether good or evil, of thi.
superliuous exercise, the subject o.
convenient arrangements around th,
barn and house Is one well worthy
the attention of older heads. The littll
saving of Il few minutes of a man.
time, ten or twenty times daily
amounts TO quite total at thu
end of three hundred and sixty-tiv,
days, and if the loss of time be only hal
an hour day, the total loss at the ent
of the year will be over eighteen days
work for the twelvemonths. How man,
men there are who would be much hor
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
LEGAL COURTSHIP.


The Extraordinary Means q Lady Took to
Secure a Husband.
1t would be difficult to imagine more
laughable affair than the elder Scott's
union with the Marchioness of Sligo,
which was celebrated in the summer
of 1918, to the inexpressible amusement
of society" The marchioness made the
offer; she made it in the Criminal Court
of the Old Bailey; she made it on slip
of paper that was handed to the Judge
by one of the ushers of the stuffy and
even fetid court. Two years earlier
Byron had been a fellow traveller in
Greece with the marchioness' youthful
and rather erratic son, where the poet
took occasion to talk more freely than
affectionately about his own mother to
the marquis, who was probably no less
communicative about the peculiarities
of his eccentric parent. The young
men parted, Byron to rise in an hour to
giddy eminence of fame, the marquis
to put himself within the grip of the
criminal law by Turing into his yacht in
Mediterranean waters two seamen from
one of his Brittanic Majesty's ships of
war. Tried for his otfense at the Old
Bailey by Sir William Scott Judge of
the high court of the admiralty and
Lord Peterborough, the marquis was
found guilty, ordered to pay fine of
$4,000, sentenced to four months i'm
prisonment in Newgate, and compelled
to listen to parental address by Sir
William on the duties and responsible
ties of young men of high station. The
marchioness drought to the court by
maternal solicitude for her oflspring)
was so affected by the judges admoni-
ton that on the spur of the moment she
sent him the brief note dashed off on a
piece of court foolscap given her by the
clerk of arraigns,) in which she ex-
pressed the wish that her dear boy could
always have so prudent counselor by
his side. What could the Judge do but
accept the offer made in so delicate and
flattering a manner The match turned
out no worse than was expected. The
marchioness, of course, repaid her hus-
band Gin kind) for the edifying lecture
he had given her son.-EUery Other
| SATURDAY.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
SENI,TEEEty SOUTH gENTvGElkS,
NASHVILLE STREET.
HOPKINSVILLE, KENTUCKY.
CLUB LIST.
We will furnish the following papers and pc
iodicals with the SEMI-WEEKLY SOUTH KEN
MARK TWAIN AT WORK.
Hls One Observation-Disclosures Testimon
Against Brand of Cigars.


Hls One solace-Overwhelming Testimony
Against q Brand of Cigars.
Mr.. Clemens divides his year into two
parts, which are not exactly for work
and play respectively, but which differ
very much in the nature of their occu-
pations. From the LIST of June to the
middle of September the whole family,
consisting of Mr.. and Mrs. Clemens and
their three little girls, are at Elmira, N.
Y. They live there with Mr.. I. W..
Crane, whose wife is a sister of Mrs.
Clemens. A summer-house has been
built for Mr.. Clemens within the Crane
grounds, on high peak, which stands
six hundred feet above the valley which
lies spread out before it. The house is
built almost entirely of glass, and is
modelled exactly on the plan of a Mis-
sissippi steamboats, pilot-house. Here,
shut off from all outside communica-
tions, Mr.. Clemens does the hard work
of the year, or rather the combining and
engrossing work of writing, which de-
mands continuous application day after
day. The lofty work-room is some dis
lance from the house. He goes there
every morning about half-past eight
and stays there until called to dinner by
the blowing of horn about five o'clock
He takes no lunch or noon meal OF any
sort, and works without eating,
while the rules are Imperative no
to disturb him during this working
period. His only recreationis his cigar
He is an inveterate smoker, and smokes
constantly while at work, and, indeed, al
the time from half-past eight in thu
morning to half-past ten at night, stop
ping only when at his meals. A cigal
lasts him about forty minutes, now tina
he has reduced to an exact science thu
art of reducing the weed to ashes. Sc
he smokes from fifteen to twenty cigars
day. Some time ago he was persuaded
TO stop the practice, and actually went
year or more without tobacco, but he
found himself unable to carry along i'm
portant work which he undertook, and
it was not until he resumed smoking
that he could do it. Since then hi
faith in his cigar has not wavered. Lik'
other American smokers, Mr.. Clemens
is unceasing in his search for really
satisfactory cigar at really satisfac
tory price, and, first and last, has gath
cred good deal OF experience in the
pursuit. 1t is related that, having en-
tertained a party of gentlemen one win
ter evening in Hartford, he gave :,
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

rlned at the idea that they should pay
wages to any one for eighteen idle days
who are practically doing the sam,
thing by allowing no time to think ant
plan, so as to prevent the waste of any
ones time, such as taking twenty step,
twenty times day where two woult
suffice, and necessitating constant in
terruptions in what should be a steady
job OF work, needless of the excellent
adage, ''ten minutes interruption
wastes twenty minutes time" In tn,
disposition of buildings, their interior
fittings, feeding arrangements, and 50
forth, little care and forethought viii
save the time of every man employed
about the place, aggregating, as may
well be imagined, in the course Of q
year, the equivalent of one mans tim,
for two or three months. Natioae
Lire Stock Journal.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
A STlNGY MAN.

Reasons Why Colonel Doneiy Was Ao
counted "Close."
E"I don't mind man being econom.
ical, )" said Colonel Bonely, but dc
despise to see stinginess. You all know
John Nutwing-feller that used to sell
soda water and grumbled when a Gus
toner insisted in taking it with syrup
Well, he was the stingiest man | evel
saw. Why, sr, he was so stingy thai
he used to let his meat spoil. Said hi
couldn' afford to eat it while it was Sc
valuable. One day cart came alone
with a barrel of water. Just as it wa.
passing Johns gate, the thing broke
down. Well, sir, John went out, caught
half the water and poured it in his we'll
Said that he couldn't afford to see any
thing wasted. D, yes, he was close.
was with him when he died. He was
perfectly willing, though he dreaded
the expense of having grave dug
Colonel, sad he, addressing me il
that anxious way that had become one
of his characteristics, cant you gi
some of the boys and induce EN- to dis
the grave as matter of accommoda
ton? | did intend to be buried under
the pear tree, but the land is so valua
Ole | cant afford it.. You don't seen
to be very sick, said |, Perhaps yor
may recover. %, no, I'm gone, HI
replied. 4 took poison just before send
Nc for you. decided that l could no
Afford to live. It's too expensive, Ate
l fellow dies, you know, and get
ct,led down. the expense ceases. Tha
onfounded druggist cheated Inc. hao
10 pay five cents for the poison. II,
hould have given me two doses for tina
'hm. lie was so stiBgy that he die,
without struggle. Taking it all int,
consideration, John was the closest maj
ever saw ArkdnSdw Traveller.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
1.-THE Dyspeptic's Refuge.

II am thirty-live years DID," write
Mr.. Charles Ii. Watts, of West Som
ers, Putnam Co., N. Y, "and had suf-
fered from dyspepsia for fifteen years.
The current treatment did me no
good. Listlessly and without hope
l gave Parker's Tonic trial. ] can
give the result in three words: al
cured me- 1t will cure you.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
THE TWO MEMBRANES.

Important Parts in the Human Economy
Played by the Mucous and Serious Mem
branes.
Two of the membranes of the body
are Of pre-eminent Importance from
their extent, their work, and the dis.
eases to which they give rise. Their
chief office is to secrete fluids for the
purpose Of keeping the parts soft, lessen
ing friction, and aidiL5 in the passage
of substances.
One is the mucous membrane, the
other is the SerouS. The former line:
every cavity of the body that has an ex.
ternal outlet-the nostrils, mouth, gull
let, stomach, the ducts of the liver, the
intestines, bladder, etc., and the bron.
chial tubes of the lungs.
The Serious membrane lines the cavi.
ties of the chest and of the abdomen,
and also covers-as the skin does the
body-the brain, heart, lungs, liver etc.
1t also forms sac around the heart,
which it encloses, and is called the peri
cardium. 1t moreover lines the heart
within, where it is called the endocar.
dunn.
1t may aid the memory Of some oil
our readers if we add that endo means
"within," and peri around"
The brain also is enclosed with q
second Serious membrane, called the
arachnoid. As the brain substance ex.
tends down through the spinal column,
so the investing Serious membrane fol-
lows it. A similar membrane lines tie
smooth surfaces of the joints.
Coryza-a "cold in the head"--is an
Inflammation of the mucous membrane
of the nostrils; pharyngitis is an in
Illumination of the same membrane IL
the back part of the mouth; laryngitis,
in the larynx, or vocal box; bronchitis
in the bronchial tubes.
So, too, the mucous membrane of the
stomach may be infiamed, causing {
large secretion of "phlegm"-mucous
inflammation of the mucous membrane
of the liver or gall ducts prevents the
flow of bile, causing most agonizing
pain and jaundice. A similar inham
nation in the intestines gives inflamma
ton of the bowels, or enteritis.
An inflammation of the Serious mem
brane of the brain causes at first de
lirium, and then stupor, by the pressure
of the accumulated fluid This is cere
bral meningitis. When the inhamma
ton affects the membrane of the brain
and the spinal cord, it is cerebro-spina
meningitis. PleuriSy is Inflammation o
the Serious membrane of the chest ant
lungs; pericarditiS, that of the heart
sac; cndocdrditiS, that of the inne
membrane of TIE heart; peritoaitis, tina
Of the abdomen. - Youths Companion
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
The Cov;noton Commonwealth h

The Covington Commonwealth has
begun to publish a verse of "owl
poetry" on its local page, something
on the order of the "rooster poetry"
of the Frankfort Yeoman and the
"dog poetry" of the SOUTH KENTToL-
IAN. We mention this circumstance
to let our readers know that they are
not alone in their misery.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
Malaria
.2500 Years Standing
CONQUERED AT LAST.
The Deadly Malaria Of the Roman
campania and the Pontine
Marshes!

The Rev. W. c. NNNMETER, so well know
In this country for his good work IN ruscuing
boys from the live points, New York Cir aud
lndng them homes IN the West, II now Bible
missionary AT Rome, Italy, Agent Of the ltslnn
Bible AMI SUNDAY school Mission of New YORK.
while visiting the United States this summer,
and In Louisville he was suffering with VA
larial Fever, contracted during III perform
rnce Of his missionary work ~ and ara nd
Rome, the home " malaria Tor twenty
hundred years, This Is what Mr. Nann,ri r
writes 10 4 friend IN Louisville:
Gam using the remedy lWlntersmith's
Tonic or Chill Cure Mr. Arthur Peter gave
me Ter malarial fever, instead Of quninr, and
find II Is GOOD, pleare call on Mr. Peter
and ask him rs n special favor To send me more
of it. have used all | had; III DIn NIX
GREAT GOOD I rHnt 20 Keep IL 'rith D,o
all The time. for mast UOrk.'
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

"A romantic young waiter-girl at a
hotel in Ontario, Canada, came near
losing her life the other day by trying a
foolish experiment. She had heard an
aid saying that any girl who swallowed
raw chickens heart would have for
husband the first male person she
shook hands with, and, believing the
proverb, attempted to swallow chick
EMS raw heart. but failed. The heart
stuck in her throat and would not move
either way~down or up. A doctor was
called in and arrived only in season tc
save the deluded girl from an untimely
death by choking.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

and the many throat affections Of children,
promptly, pleasantly and safely relieved by
Rough on Coughs". rroches, lie. Balsan,
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

,.L 'nr "GnugIuu .ugh-," Coughs,
,ti-. ~u'v ihrrti. y 4.t-,Hs-, itu, lies, lie.
,qu e.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Preparatory to weaving colts, they
should be taught to feed on grass, hay,
meal or oats, so that there need be nc
shrinkage OF flesh after leaving the
dam.-Rstr0L MeO Yorker.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Hacking, irritating Coughs, Coids, Sore Throat.
cured by slough ON Coughs" Troches, iSc.
Mound, SO.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Wells Health Remover" restores health
and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, Headache, Ner.
vousness, Debility, 81.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

t.n,i,uat ui4.i,al ~weliug- pikzinese,
'u'lisr,llin, ll.Al ,,hs. slccplr,s ness cured by
Nailr' Health RcutWer."
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Strengthening. improved, the best for back
ache, pains IN chest or side, rheumatism, nen-
ralga. Augl2ly
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

"Rough on Itch" cures humorp, eruptioua
ring-word, letter, salt rheum, trusted feet
chiublaln..
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

II you are failing, broken. worn ont and ncr-
Vou-, use Wells Health Remover" 25c.
Druggists.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

three or four hours every night coughing. Get
immediate r, lief and sound rcst by using Wells
"Rough on Coughs" Trochcs, ljc.; Balsam,
Is cents
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Strengthening, improved, the best for back.
ache, pains In chest or side, rheumatism, neu.
ralgiA,
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Man seems planned for an outdoor
life in mild climate, with just a leaf
or two of shelter for rainy day. His
nature will bend for a time to the con-
ventional burdens of an artificial civil.
cation, but replant him on first princi-
pies in the outdoor garden of life and
his recuperative forces will rebound
with the elastic energy Of steel springs
relieved. Our fashionable friends would
lose caste were they to use their neigh.
boris secondhand clothing, but they
will daily try to purify their own blood
with their neighbours secondhand or
ten-tlrnes used breath, poisoned as it
always is, even when exhaled by young
and healthy persons Man, in common
with other warm blooded creatures,
generates a surplus of heat within his
body. Outdoor sleepers find that no
matter how cold the surrounding air
may be, if dry, enough Of the outilowing
heat may be damned back and re.
tanned by suitable clothing to sustain
the vital functions in health and COM
fort. Until domestic art can supply our
lungs with cool, meteorological air, Sin
warm rooms, its votaries will have an
| important problem to solve. In the
meantime out-campers and howell
dwellers will wear the best aerated
blood in the land.-America1 Home.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

II YOU are losing your grip on life, try "wells'
Health remover" Goes ircct 10 weak spots.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
There were some severe laws in the

There were some severe laws in the
world two centuries ago, but apparently
no more morality than now. There was
a time when Bob Ingersoll would
have been imprisoned for life, even il
he escaped burning at the stake. By
statute, in the time OF Elizabeth, if any
person in plays or songs or by casual
conversation said anything in derogation
Of the book of common prayer, he was
liable to suffer Imprisonment for life
Chicago Herald.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Among the fires OF the past year
were thirty-two buildings warranted
strictly tire-proof. y. Sun.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Ladies who would retain freshncss and ylcae-
ity. non't fail to try Wells Health Renewer."
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

Children. slow In development, puny, scraw.
ny, and delicate, use "Well's Health Remover
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20

When Jimpkns got married for the
fourth time, and his friends leased him
about it, he said he couldn't help it, as
ned BeRedicted to it for some years.