Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-03-06
A UNIQUE AFFAIR.
Annual Reception and banquet at Hub
bards Newspaper Agency.

barus newspaper Agency
A very unique and pleasant affair was
the fourth annual reception of the EN-
ployes of Mr.. II. p. llubbard's lnterna-
tioual Newspaper Agency, in New Haven,
Conn, on Tuesday evening of this week.
There We're about seventy-hve persons
present, among the prominent guests be
ing Mr. j. Armory Knox, proprietor and
editor of the TCrdS SUtingS. The main
Office of the establishment was clear
ed of its desks and paraphernalia
and handsomely decorated with flowers,
bunting and flags. Music, dancing and
All elegant banquet were the order of the
evening The menu of the banquet was
cuuuingly made mp of the names of
various leading journals, metamorphosed
| so as to indicate the deliCacles of the diff
ferent courses. The FREE PRESS was as
ISOLATED with the cold pressed" meats,
| for what reason we confess we are unable
| to discern. At the banquet the following
amusing letter from Mark Twain-cOn-
| tanning an allusion to certain Burlington
| firm of wide advertising famc-was read
OLD CURIOSITY SHOP, HARTFORD,
| Feb. Is, 1855.
Ny Dear Mr.. Hubbard Your kind in
vitatiOn to attend the annual birthday fcs-
| tival of your unique institution i recciV-
| ed with thanks. As am man of words
rather than deeds will write II letter in
|
| pens to be Il No b. and you might find il
| difficult to fit. As you are Il cosmopolitan
| concern, | suppose NOu Will eat in all
| languages, dance in every dialect, dress in
! about all Imaginable costumes and have
| your refreshments ordered from all quar-
| tiers Ut the globe, carefully diustcd to the
| requirements OF every stomach. on Will
| have turkeys for the Turks, hams for the
| Hamburgers, grease for the Greeks,
angle-wormS for the Angles aXonS, but
| ter-sCotch for the ScOtchmen, eelS for the
| Ely-Cream Balm man, pinks for II sweet
| odor to the memory of Dear Lydia, ported
| rats favored with Health Remover and
Toured with tooth powder for Brother
| Wells of New Jersey, broled tOads OH
stools for the Hop gentleman, and roast
| Kidneys garnished with diamonds of Il
rich butter-color for your Burlington
friends. Then You will have sausageS fol
the sages with old saws, oranges for the
fellow from the Orange Tree State
tongues for the ladies, bless their silent
souls, they need them every hour, as wei
as for the fellows in the foreign depart
meut, who have such Il time wrestling
y with Babel of chattering newspapers
\ IOu will have Indian puddings for YOU
East India visitors, plum puddingS tO
millionaire plumbers, and don't you for
get your l5ohea tea for your wild Bohe
milan correspondents.
| Wooden nutmcGS for your COnnectlCu
SONS and daughters will be appropriate
dessert. Visitors from Quincy Will prele
ounces. Tarts will be the regulation disi
for your Tartars-l believe you catch on
occasionally. Old-time Democrats vii
prefer hickory nuts, while modern one
and mugwumps Will be better please
with dates, especially those of the 4th-ot
March sort. OF course you will have pie
say one-for the piOus and plenty q
apple sauce for the saucy boys and girls.
+ For cake the gentlemen will chew lad
fingers, and for raisins they prefer ralsil
Ned. For liquids | have generally Oi
served that the ladies choose rOm an,
Jerry.
| Any further suggestions strike me n
superhuOus. Having been born all owe
the world and brought up everywhere you
experience will enable you to fill vacaI
cieS
Now, as am "A married MAINLAND m
wife the best half-don't simply mark m
down us one good fellow, but
Il MARK TWAIN