Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-13
VlBRATORY.

On 8 certain occasion W. R. Travers was in stage going up Fifth avenue, and his son, w. R., jr., who was then very small boy, was sitting on his knee, the stage being very crowded A lady got in and there was no seat for her. MT. Travers, with his usual gallantry said to his son: ''B-Billy, g-get up and give this l-lady your seat"
 Little Girl from Chicago-"Our family is 8 more aristocratio family than yours.'
 Little Girl from Boston-''No, it isn't My mother can boast of her forefathers for the last two centuries."
 Little Girl from Chicago-"Oh, that is nothing. My mother can boast of four hus- bands in the last two years. s."-Philadelphia Call.
 Pickins county, Georgia, has a postoffice named Talking Rock. The origin of the name is thus stated: Someone discovered in the vicinity large stone upon which had been painted the words ''Turn me over." It this and when it was done the command ''Now turn me back and let me fool some body else," was found painted on the under side of the stone.-Boston Post.
 This is told of an assemblyman in Albany: A colleague accused him of striving for nom ination to certain high office. He denied the statement indignantly. Rising to a ques- subject. ''Why, MT. Speaker" said he, Eff that place were offered to mo upon a golden platter would not accept it." Up rose a rural member who had very squeaky voice .'Mr. Speaker" he piped, twill the member inform the house what would become of the golden plattera"-Harper's Bazaar.
 Mr. Gibson, M. F., somewhat mars his un- doubted ability as debater by expressing his opinions in a stentorian voice. Last Thursday he was discoursing in accents of thunder when Liberal M. P. said to an- other, ''Is Gibson a sound lawyera' "Your question reminds me- said the other, tFof 6 story that once heard. The same query was put to judge about lawyer who, like Gibson, was in the habit of roaring q do not know replied the judge, but I have heard it said that roaring is evidence of un- soundness. .'"-Truth.
 At small dinner party given lately in an uptown restaurant one of the guests under took to favor his compa lions with disserta- tion on the delicacy and refinement of the French language. ftNow," said he, 'tas an example, gentlemen you have all probably observed the unpublished sbruptness of our expression 'mother-in-law.' Look at the delicacy and beauty of the French equivalent With Frenchmen it is never la mere en droit; they always say ia belle mere.'" Then one of the listeners (psssibly a married man) spoiled it all by interposing gently, What do they say when she's not that kindF'- Harper's Bazar.
 
 formed that ''He sits him down at twilight hour Before the ivory keys And let's his fin gers wander OCT The clavier as they please. Though dark and still the empty church, An angel Hits o'erhead, And passing near with dropping wings, He leaves the player-dead." That angel should not weary in his good work Sometimes when a man is clawing the ivory keys the neighbors want to hurl brick at him, but they would be satisfied if an angel would hover over him and leave him dead. The angel should also hover over the amateur flute player, the cornetist, the accordson fend and other musical aggravations.-N Herald.
 It isn't often that Henderson manufactures conundrum, but when he does turn at anything in that line, it is sumner. For instance, he propounded the following the other evening: "Why is the Fourth of July like a goat9' As may naturally be sup posed, everybody had to give it up, and even after Henderson had explained that it was because it had horns, there were three old ladies and fat gentleman who couldn't make it out. The three old ladies remained obdurate to the last, but after thorough gh ex- planation by means of diagrams and equa- tions the fat gentleman began to laugh i'm moderately and declared that it was good thing, mighty good thing, you know-how was it, now2 And then they had to explain it all over again.-Boston Transcript.