davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

An illinois man sncezed a bullet out Of
his nose the other day. Those fellows
who will persist in looking into the muz-
zles Of their guns to see IL their arc loaded
must suffer the onsequences.- Burlington
Free Pres. vi m
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

MANY Of the bitters and auack nostrums
OF the day are also advertised for CON
sumption on the plan that the only
thing that the stuff wont cure Is ttesy.
aficious, ignoble greed Of the proprt.
edy for strengthening the lungs, sooth:
ing all irritation, and stopping the cough,
is DR.. Wistar's Balsam OF Wild Cherry. II
lias cured many cases where physicians
had given up hope. paw
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

"when you have steady ringing in
your ears you are going to hear Of sud
den death, " says an almanac. Yes, butts
it rightto killa man because he advises
yonto take quinine for your cold.-Gra.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

PREVENT sickness by taking occasionally
one Of Emory's Little Cathartic Pills, o
wonderful appetizer, an absolute cure Of
Biliousness-l5 cents. TrHs&w
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

Horstora.s Acid phosphate as n nrain Food.
DIR. S. i. Newcomer, Greenfield, g. says:
SIN cases ofgeneral debility, and torpor
Of mind and body, It does exceedingly
wcll.n b. t.lil. qThs2w
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

SOMETHING old-Allen's Bilious physic
Acts quickly, relieves promptly, and
never fails to cure Sick Headache and
Constipation. 25 cents large bottlc.-At
druggists. rTI!sAw
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

sAHl'you ilatter me; lisped q dude TO q
pretty girl with whom he was conyefsing.
sNo ldon't, washer reply. "Yon couldn't
be any tlatter than you or" BtTliaston
Fres jPrsnl dti.ss : u le,f'i lsayt
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
'THE Want Soap Ask yourgfo forit

The Rev. Geo. Il. Thayer, Of Bourbon,
Ind, says: "Both myself and wife owe
our lives to Shiloh's Consumption Cure y
Are You made miserable by Indigestion,
CONSTIPATION, Dizziness, Loss Of Appetite,
Yellow Skim shiloh's yitalizer Is posi-:
why will, You cough when shiloh's
Cure will give immediate relief. Price 10
cts, 80 cts. and 81. lis
shiloh's Ca.arrh Remedy-a positive
cure for oatarrh, Diphtheria, and Canker
Mouth.
Sold by Logan 4 Co., A. T. Young and
Chas. Menkemcllcr. COW
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

$1,000 90 we offer to anyone detecting
even a traee Of common grease In StranS'
Genuine Wax Soap. II
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
TIM want soap.' Askyour grocer for 4

Married women claim great many
things, but wo have never heard one boast
Of being older than her observation-disclosures,
sttn,a Ca Record. .lei.t
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

II Money gets into the Cabinet Cleve.
land will be credited with making agood
deal Of Money Omaha (Neb.) Bee.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
Mothers,

Ifyou arc failing broken, worn out and
nervous, use "Wells' Health Rcnewer."
81. Druggists. - z 5tl16l'
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

TEg Baltimore & Ohio, the only direct
line from the'lNest 70 Washington, Is pre-.
|eminently the route Of all 'iorthe tripto
The National Capital at the time OF the In
auRuraHon. Il Is the only line running
limited express trains on last time with.
out extra charge, and the only line upon
which passengers can exercise the good
old American right OF going as they please.
AlIthe B, 4 o. trains run through solid,
there being no change 81 cats, Of any class
whatever, from starting point to dest.
nation. 5El
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

$1,000 90 we offer to any one detectinS
even a trace Of common grease in strunz's
Genuine Wax Soap. ,Ii's Z
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
I|||

From experience think switts Specific is very
valuable remedy for eilAneous diseases ana o. the
same time an invlgonting tonlc
JAMES JACKSON, Chief Justice Of Go.
Atlanta, Sept, 1884.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
OHIO RIVER RAILROAD.

~ ID Es.ss;.:..:s.is
Time table corrected 70 EoySmbe %, 1854 T,fAiss
leave Panhandle Station, foot Of Eleventh stress
near public landing, as follows Central Standard
limo (which IL IS minutes slower that Wheeling
time: i 7ls lllsi s3lsss D q
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

$1,000 cove offer TO anyone detecting
even d trace Of common grease in, struns
Genuine Wax Soap Z, X y
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
Torpid Liver.

Night sweats, fever, chills, malaria, dys-
pepsia. cured bv "Weils' Health Renew.
err ST. y
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

DISEASE, Propensity and Passion brings
mankind numberless ailments; foremost
among them are nervousness, nervous de-
biIity, and unnatural weakness OF genera
tive organs. Aliens Brain Food success.
fully oyercomes these troubles and restores
thesuferer to his former yigor. Sl.-At
druggists, or by mail from ]. II. Allen, 3l5
First Ave-, New York city. TThs4w
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
Don't Die in tho House.

Rough on Rats" clears out rats, mice,
reaches, bed-bugs, flies, ants, moles, chip.
mnnks, gophers. 'he.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

V273HERLINa & ELM GROVER. 4.

Leave The city al sl, Y and every hour until .
Leave wheeling Park ats!k u. and every hour
until inR. u. 7 r 80 - q, HEHSf1L, ftlt
> |sFk p ttc " L Nv ~ .ritrAsirtet.aes h
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

POISON oAK.-A lady. hero has been entirely
ctihI al robson oak poison by tho uSc OF Two bot.
tlt,s az q 81 s. 7ll - r. s. BRADFoRp,
7 II - Ttptonyille, Tenn.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

sJNoCuLATED roIsoN.-Aitcr trying all tho
othsr rcTnNies sWiit's Specific has cured mo sound
ana well Of 4 terrible blood poison contracted from
Rnutse Nus 7. LIN, Grcenyihe, Ala.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

Hos. JupeE j. M. CoEytsBuRy, Ceye.
land, o., says: I.tave used scores Of pile
cures, and Il affords mo pleasure 10 say
that i have never found anything which
gives such immediate and permanent re-
lief as Dr.. Williams Indian Pile 0int-
ment,r Wholesale "A gents: logan 4 Co..
Wheeling, w. Va, and |, o. Dent q 90.
Bridgeport Ohio. psN
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

81, 900 1O, We Offer 10 anyone detecting
even 9 trace Of common grease in strunE
Genuine Wax Soap, 3 Z. Z Z
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
In; MOTIFS FRENCH POWDERS.

WIN cure Diseases Of the Kidheys. ,Grayel, Glcet
skffCtufes and nj Urinary and GfothIAl Diseases,
Nervous and Physical Deb MY Geplina weakness
Los ol Vigor, Premature Decline IN Man, Early
Decay, Impoteney cause. by errors pfyont1, ex.
aud nose, ulcers er1ptions. lGrpinla, tettet' salt
rheum and all Hood and skin dlseases, Female
WcakneE speedily cured. G1notthea cured In 3
days. Price @ 90 Sold In Wheeling, W, Va, by
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

! ULCERS Is YEARs.4A member Of my church
has been curt4l Of an liberated leg Of 70 yearl
staudinR With two bot les Of swltts specific.
r. Il. cAuMfLIR, Pastor Meth. CHI. Macon, Go
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

Can q woman appreciate o ioke2 Yea,
Tit is about some other woman. -lol .ild-
tlslptia Call. 81
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
Gha glstslIiaenra.

oniss6ii Nos. - and ! IoaItesat. stEset.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19
THE WEEKLY IHTELuGENCER
One Dollar Pays for The Weekly Intelll
genccr Tor n Whole Year.

Road the following terms and premlumS
TheWeCEly lntelligencer, single copy one year 81 e0
SCOPES, ono year. and Daily two months lrec- D "
lgCopIes, ono year, aud Daily two months or
QUE COpy OF the Weekly, one year free %
6CUpi.G, one year and Daily six months, or
THREE cOpieSOi the Weekly ono year free......3 %
The premium copies will DO sent TO any address
delnei. It Is equivalent to cash commission, as
they eau readily be sold and the money retained by
thSgelter up o! the club. It Is not necessary for
al Tie nantS In the club TO come from one ottce,
nor Il necessary u send all the subscribers NJ Que
tine Subscriptions may be sent Is fast as 70,
celyCd, one or more at Tine and record Of them
will bG kept at this oillce. The premium copies
will be SeUL at the request o. tho agent e soon Is
h6 his Sgat sufficient Subscribers 70 enttle him 70
them hH4
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

TIM want Soap, . All yoar stloceriotit
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-02-19

Anamendment was adopted to require
saloon keepers to print notice Of their in
tention to apply for license ina newspaper
printed in the county for ut least two
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1885-10-13
STATEMENT.

-1rr 49,
VIE undersigned, a committee OF Di-
Il rectors OF the Equita Die Lie As
surance Soclely OF the united states,
appointed to formulate the views of the
Board on the advantages offered by the
society to the public, report
lst-lhc society issues an the approx.
cd forms OF assurance, including Ordi.
nary Lite' M dowment and Iontine po-
llcles. ~ is lmmateflal 10 inc directors
which form OF pollcy Is taken by In.
tenalng assIrers.
Su-Ihe Llie ana ENDOWMENT forms
VI p0ilcy ProVluc lor annual cash divl.
dends ana surrender Valuc; are lndis-
putaoie after ehree years ana payable
lmmedIateiy allei PROOF OF death:
:. ou-lhc premiums on lontlne po-
ilcy are the same rs on Inc Ordinary
LIE, put, Whlle tne lalter is only pay.
a az m IN .he even. vi uea,h' the noldGr OF
.ie loh.ihe poiicy mas uie riSht 10 araw
INC whoie Oh the reserve ana me accu-
a aa.a1 ploh.9 IN 'hsn az we emu Oh
s s;. P.lloui mus, turing MS own IRE
,iihe, a''oi ms ptouucihg years are past,
t ne can' wllnGu, any larger premium
. lnan On an ordinary pohcy' secure 'hese
sieu.ef advantages.
4th.hAperlehce SHOWS that the return
Paiu III cash On maturing Iontlnc Pc.
licies approNma!es 10 or exceeds the
amount OF premiums PAID by policy
holders SO tnat the average cost OF the
assurance VIII nc only ABOUT the interest
on ~ tiie Rremiulns.
2th-rom'ine pollcles' IKE others, are
pau IN Iuil IN me event OF dcath at any
.inie aurlng tne Term OF inc pollcy, and
alo ihoon.estanic ailer lhree years, ana
n
tp "Stn,oio i'hhheu'"'eiy aiter uue PROOF OF
"o c.I
I'm. experience SHOWS that Inc NOR.
,aiity 10 rover among Iontihe policy
h;nd us ING petter liVes seek TINS
hiIu vi assurances, Whlch IS consider
ap.e source oI proIe.
Un-iontine poiieies VIII be made
G.a y under me laws OF the
S,aae' ~ 30 aesilea ~ lhe time Inc as
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1885-10-13
DETROIT FREE PRESS CURRENCY.

Seven hundred and fifty dollar
fans are very common in New York,
but sensible girls don't look for such
presents. They take fifty cent fan
and S749.50 in ice cream and soda
water.
A Philadelphia savant has dis
covered that the wrinkles on cows
horns indicate her disposition instead
of her age. Nevertheless, don't buy
COW with thirteen wrinkles for 4
year old.
Tie japanese scarcely know what
profanity means, and instances of
one man calling another liar are so
rare as to be scarcely remembered.
1t is great country to bring up
mule drivers in.
1t may do you good to learn that
the ratio of longevity of the human
race has increased from thirty-three
to forty-four years, and we are all
eating watermelons and sitting up
late O. nights at that.
A husband in Vermont was in the
habit of putting porous plaster
over his wife's mouth to stop her
CAB, but the court called it case of
assault, and he must now either
blister her tongue or submit to her
talk.
The number of roller skating
Kinks this winter will be at least
5000 less than last, but there is no
fear that the masher will have to go
out of business, or that gadding
girls will be obliged to remain at
home.
A Wisconsin man who was on his
way to the river to commit suicide
was bitten by rattlesnake, and the
way he got doctor around and be-
seeched him to save his life made the
whole neighborhood hum.
A New Haven sea captain, who
has spent forty-three years of his
life at sea, can't 90 to sleep unless
his wife dashes water against his
bedroom window. She is SO tired
out of splashing around that she will
apply for divorce.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1885-10-13
HONOLULU LIBRARY
- AND -
READING ROOM ASSOCIATION.

vVHI5 INSTITUTION is located on
4 the corner of Hotel and Alakea
streets. directly opposite the building of
the Y. nj. C. A.. and is open every day
and evening, Sundays included.
The Reading Room is supplied with
all the local journals, as well as nearly
fifty of the leading foreign papers and
magazines.
The Circulating Library consists of
over 5000 volumes, and is constantly
increasing.
The Reference Library contains
valuable line of cyclopedias, diction.
aries, and works of similar character.
A handsome parlor is provided for
conversation and games.
The Circulating Department is closed
on Sundays.
Terms of membership Signing the
roll and paying the regular dues, fifty
cents month, quarterly in advance.
Strangers from foreign countries and
visitors from other islands are welcome
to the rooms at all times, but as the
Association has no other regular means
of support except the dues of members,
it is expected that residents of Honolulu
who desire to avail themselves of its
privileges, and all who feel an interest
in maintaining an institution of this
kind in our community, will join the
Association and pay the regular dues.
s. b. DOLE........... President
Nj. Nj. SCOTT. .Vice-President
ii. A. PARMELEE.. Secretary
A. l.. SMITH. Treasurer
g. 7. RODGERS, M. D., Chairman Hall
and Library Committee. Tiff
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1885-10-13

nay" Open every evening in the week
from to 91a. and Wednesday aud Sa.
turday afternoons for ladies and chill
dren. d. p. SMITH.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1885-10-13
Patent Composition Floor,

And only asks trial TO convince any
one of its great advantages over wood,
for ease in skating, cleanliness, etc.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1885-10-13
j. A. DOVER,
Ship Carpenter and Boat Builder.

AS on hand and for sale various
Ill sized surf boats, constructed on
an improved principle of my own in.
vention, each frame being of one piece
across the keel. The frames are closer
together, and the boats are therefore
lighter and less liable to bilge in, than
boats of any other build. Each side
plank and gunwale is in one piece from
stem to stern, and is consequently not
liable to strain, there being no midship
butts, The material and workmanship
are warranted to be of the best quality.
Mr. Robert Levers, of Levers e
Cooke, will attend TO the sale of these
boats, and dispose of them at San Fran.
cisco prices. 65 1y
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1885-10-13
Tht daily g 'llstin.
TUESDAY, OCT. 10, 1885.
a COLOSSAL FAILURE,

GUlcoohL EHLuhEs
Five million dollars and five years
have gone, and not one-half of the
tenth census is yet printed. And it
is doubtful if more than two-t thirds
of that work ever will see the light.
Twelve quarto volumes of an ave-
rage of 1000 pages each and pro-
fusely illustrated with maps have
now been published. These relate
to population, manufactures, agri-
culture and meat productions, trans
portation, cotton (two volumes)
valuation, taxation and public in
debtedness, newspapers, periodicals
and the seal fisheries, forestry with
large atlas), petroleum, and build
ing stones, and the first volume of
mortality statistics. IL is believed
that before the Census Office ex-
pires by limitation, the 3rd of next
March, in addition to the volumes
named, five more can be published,
relating to mortality, social statistics
of cities Gin two volumes), water
power and mining laws. But even
if these hopes are fully realized
seven large volumes will go by de-
fault. These deal with the defcc-
tive and delinquent classes, cduca
ton and churches, the fisheries, me-
chanics, insurance, social statistics
of mining, and miscellaneous.
The idea was to make it positively
the biggest thing out in censuses.
1t was the centennial epoch, and
everything was on sublime scale.
But fatal error of Judgment ruined
the enterprise at the outset. To
enable him to cover the wide range
of inquiry he proposed, the Super
intendent asked the cooperation of
leading specialists all over the coun-
try. These men were made special
agents. This policy ruined the
census. The special agents were
learned and famous men, but they
were inexperienced and ignorant in
census work. TO take an examples
The Geological Survey was asked to
furnish the statistics of Indians in
their tribal relations-that is, of the
wild Indians not taxed and eligible
to citizenship. For this item S40,-
900 was allowed the survey. Years
passed, and nothing could be learned
of that census of the wild tribes.
Finally, Major Powell sent to the
office one page of manuscript, which
is all the government ever got for
its $4,000.
Only five men are now engaged in
the census office, where four years
ago as many as LOO were at one
time borne on the rolls. But the
five know their duty and do it faith
fully, and so are able to turn off
more work than as many hundreds
of the cattle that swarmed in the
long rooms during the early days of
the office. 1t was maxim at that
time that the good clerks were kept
busy correcting the mistakes of the
bad ones.
The large bound quarto volumes
are published in an edition of 20, 900
copies each. This is an addition to
the publication in pamphlet form of
many separate reports. The bound
editions are much too small to meet
the demand, and all the published
volumes are now only to be had at
the secondhand book stores, the
set of II volumes bringing S25 to
$40 Washington Letter IN Ne,o
York Sun.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1885-10-13
Metropolitan Market,
KING STREET,
Choicest Meats from Finest Herds.
Families and Shipping
SUPPLIED ON SHORT NOTICE
- and..at the -
Lowest Market Prices.

All meats delivered from this Market
are thoroughly chilled Immediately after
killing by means of Bell Coleman Pa
tent Dry Air Refrigerator. Meat so
treated retains all its juicy properties,
and is GUARANTEED TO KEEP LONGER
AFTER DELIVERY THAN FREsHLY-KILI.-
ED MEAT. 741y
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-12-09


To our graves, and we must be up and doing if
we would receive and apply the lessons our
friend has taught us in the incidents of a varied
and conspicuous career. These lessons all con-
verge to one point: BE We also ready" They
all show with great emphasis the vanity OF
human hopes and wishes.
The boast of heralding, the pomp of power,
And all that beauty, all that wealth ere gave
Await alike the inevitable hour,
The paths of glory lead but to the grave.
But the path of virtue, the path of truth, the
path OF duty and honor and iateerity and tenn
perance, all these paths that he trod so patiently
ana perslstently and successfully, have ushered
him to the bosom of his God in the full fruition
of eternal life
Eminent citizen, faithful friend, Christian gen.
ueman, honest man-Farewell.
When the speaker had concluded, Mrs.
Doner, of Chicago, sang Crock of Ages" the
plshops closing with prayers and benedlc-
tlon. The casket was then lifted and borne
from the church. the audience remaining
seated.
During the progress Of the funeral column
from the house to the church. there was
slight drift of sleet in the air, which con-
t1nued throughout the period of services IN
the cathedral
In the church edifice the place OF honor
was accorded ex-President Hayes, his full
beard and hair showing the whiteness OF ad-
Vancing years. He sat Immediately IN
The rear OF the pews occupied by the
vestry and reception committees. In
the pew directly in his rear were
Secretary Bayard and the other members
OF the cabinet. To their left were seated
the committees from the United States
Senate and House OF Representatives, wear
ing flowing sashes of white over their right
shoulders. closed at the left side with
rosettes of black Grape. Immediately in
their rear were the officers of the United
States army in full uniform. On the north
side of the church were the governors OF the
states present with their staffs.
The bells Of all the city churches began
their tolling when the remains were taken
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-12-09
How Humorists are Paid.

New York Letter to the. Cincinnati Enquirer
The remains of the late Henry G.
Shaw are daily expected from Cali
fornia, and the question has been
raised whether his epitaph should not
be in that phonetic spelling in which
his utterances appear. Both Artemus
Ward and Josh Billings are illustra
tions of a style of humor in which few
succeed, although they had many i'm
itators; and they also show how prof
table such a gift can be made. Arte-
mus Ward died early, and yet he had
received enough to have made him
rich had it been properly cared for.
Josh Billings, who was too much OF a
Yankee to let money slip through his
fingers, leaves 100000, and perhaps
more. These men also were profitable
to their publisher (Carletonl who no
doubt cleared nearly as much as the
authors. Humor has paid better in
America than in Great Britain, where,
indeed, Jokes seldom turn into money.
The three funny men of the present
day-Artemus Ward, Josh Billings
and Mark Twain-received q golden
tribute from the public such as would
have astonished Tom Hood and other
wits of London, whose poverty and
other misfortunes have SO often awak-
ened sympathy.