Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-08-13

AUG. 1S. 1885.



Connecticut has 3 calf without eyes
Of tail. What evidence Of mefciful
Providence to thus deprive the poor
calf Of sight, and keep Il ignorant Of
the terrible truth that it has no tall
Bingh0nston Republican,.
Use your fork, Johnnicl Have you
forgotten 50 soon what told you about
using your fingcrs" well. mamma.
fingers we're made before forks. +" Yes.
they were; but not your fingers, my
son. n-l Christian az Work.
4 writer in Harpcr's Bazar says:
ssThe ears should DO 50 placed as not
% 81 higher than the eyebrows or lower
than the Tip 81 tho nose. People who
are dressing for 4 party should not for
get this. PhfiaoIciI hfa tai.
Tho only Indication so far that the
sardine crop will not pan out Is the sui
eide Of Sariinian Princess. As she
didn't live OF the coast 81 Maine, how
ever. sire couldn't be presumed to know
much about il. = philadelphia Newa
PA. who was ShylockPu Paler-
familias with look OF surprise and
horror) -s.Great goodness, boy; you at
tend church aud Sunday-school every
week and don't know who Shylock
WASP Go end read the Bible. sir. ~
Ramb'er.
4 street dentist who promises 70 pull
teeth without pain is accompanied by
brass band. When the forceps are
placed on the victims tooth q signal is
given to tile band. aud the cries OF pain
are immediately drowned in the noise
Of horns aud drums.
Professor r. A. Proctor says that
this earth is to-day just as likely to
quake and overthrow cities and towns
IS i has been at any time since man
existed. You are right, Professor, but
does Il not occur to you that It is Just
as unlikely to do sog-Bost0B Post.
Tho hairdrcssser at the Jardin des
Plantcs with his little son-s.My boy.
here you sec how unequally Nature dis
tributes her gifts. This creature. for
instance, Is the tortoise, Of whose shell
The best hairpins are made, but which,
unfortunately, has no hair itself. -
Paris Figaro.
Cupid Lament-Amor: s.Alasl dear
mamma there is nothing whatever to
DO done with the girls now. They are
80 thickly arlnour-plated with wadding
and whalebonc that my arrows take no
etlcct! Venus; Never mind, my boy,
next Christmas I'll buy you a little
Krupp cannon.
We cannot see what good is to be
accomplished by periodically reviving
the question Of Edgar A. Poo personal
habits. Perhaps the best thing to do
would Be, adopting.an idea from Mr..
Lincoln, TO find out what particular
brand Of whisky Mr.. Poo liked best and
send barrel of il to old ALI. Tennyson.
~. Louis Gtobc- Democrat.
The Pittsburg Dispatch thus gives its
opinion on il matter Of interest eyery-
where: ".Who owns tho sidewalksp'
asks the Philadelphia Record. We have
~ever given tho subject the attention
fhich II NESTS. but most probably the
horso-car company does. It certainly
owns all tho rest of the streets. -
Tho secret of Dante's struggle
through life was In the reckless sarcasm
Of his answer TO the Prince Of Verona,
who asked him how he could account
for the fact that in tho household Of
Princes tho court fool was in greater
favor than the philosopher. .'Similarity
Of mind, said the fierce genius. lis.
al the world over, the source Of friend
ship.
4 say, you'll" exclaimed the snub-
n0scd boy, you're q real English Lord,
boan't yorPN Yes, my lad. replied
his L0gtlship, not altogether displeased
al Tho boys manner; and what do
you think OF real English Lord?" IL
think. said the youth, .'as how there
isn't no danger Of England's running
out o stuff 10 make Lords out o. If she
ain't partIcsllarer than size seems to
be. t'0St0a Transcript
Tho Il N. Mr.. a., who drove two
horses. mel The Rev. Mr.. ID, who drove
one horse attached 10 buggy: Mr. b.
'.Brothcr n, how docs it happen that
you mood two horsesp Brother e., Of
the Methodist Church has only one
horse, aud Brother ID, Of the baptist
Church drives only one horse. and
have only one. Why 10 you need two
hOrscsp Brother A.-.Becanso am
not ono horse preacher. - Teras Pa
per
Il IS related Of distinguished lawyer
who observed that bis wife always de-
layed ten or twelve minutes before she
came down 60 dinner. being loath to
lose 50 much precious timc daily. no
commenced the composition of Il work
which he prosecuted only while he was
thus kept waiting. The result was at
the end Of fifteen years . book in three
volumes quarto. which has met with q
large sale and Is much needed. I'd
k74~