Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1885-04-15
nearly opposite Fort Yates. It will be
stuffed and forwarded to the New Orleans
EXposition, soon,

nearly opposite Fort Yates. 1t Will be
stuffed and forwarded to the New Orleans
Exposition, soon.
Otto Fischer, special agent at Bismarck
for the Franz Falk Brewing GO. lMll-
waukee) Beer, has largely increased the
sale on the Missouri Slope OF this un-
rivaled beverage. He wants Emmons.
county dealers to call on him before lay
ing in stock, as he will .leave no stone
unturned' to secure their trade !; ana,
once secured, he has no fear OF losing IT.
The Fort Yates organ which bears
name acute in q ratio inverse to the
Rock Island is coming here Ito Winonal
because Douglas says 20, or words to
that effect. So is Christmas but it will
get there several times before the rail-
road, as may be seen by looking at a
map. It takes more than q few soldiers,
several saloons, fragrant bouquet OF So
cial evils and a windy townsite rustler
to make city.
Mrs. George Reed, wife of Bismarck's
popular and recently elected City Treas
urer, accompanied by Master George (the
baby came down Saturday, and is guest
at the Emmons House. A day or two
after her arrival the lady was taken sud-
denly and violently ill. Monday night
Mr. Armstrong rode to Bismarck and In
formed Mr.. Reed, who arrived at Williams
port shortly after noon yesterday. As
we go to press, Mrs. Reed is improving,
but is still far from being well.
H. F. has made mistake in importing
from Gladstone the journalistic "what-is-
it, rejected by the intelligent people of
that thriving town. But the faux pas
1--WE trust the Monkey won't read it tfox's
paw may be remedied. Let III. F. bor-
row Sitting Bull from Major McLaughlin,
and seat him on the editorial cracker
box of the organ. AS most of his sub
scribers will be among Sioux and SOL
dlers, it would be a vast improvement.
Mr. Bull understands the use of good In
dian, which is much better than bad Chr
nese or worse English.
Douglass Monkey, with all the assur-
ance of a brazen cheek, tells Governor
Pierce what to do in the division mat
ter. OF course the Monkey doesn't COM
of a purely executive nature that he
has nothing whatever to do with inn
peachment of the returns; and that,
after County Clerk Parks made procla-
nation of the result, none other than ju.
dicial power could affect the matter in
the least. Douglass only remedy 10 in
the courts but, as he dare not have the
vote at the recent election analyzed, of
course he will not contest
Douglass Dummy, with q crocodile
tear in his off optic, mumbles and jumbles
up a sentence which, if it means anything,
would seem to convey the idea that the
blood-pump under the vest of the editor
ct this paper is hard and stony. This be-
cause cause we object to his having q new
county upon whose suffering people he
may permanently inflict the tortures of
his pigeon-English composition. But
we believe that, under competitive exam
lnatlon, our heart, or gizzard, or any other
vital organ, would compare favorably in
the matter of avoirdupois with certain
grayish-white or whitish- gray substance
carried by the Dummy under his No. 6
hat, said substance being analogous to a
formation which is found near and be-
meath the place whence the horns spring
on calf's head, and which the Dummy
sometimes refers to as his "bralns."
Somebody has been "stuf1ng" Doug
lass recent Improvisation. He gets the
figures OF last falls election all wrong.
Correctly stated, they were: Williamsport,
establishment of one polling place at the
county-seat election was due entirely to
threats made by Winona parties that they
would bring illegal voters across the river.
The recent proceedings at the Fort Yates
poll show that they meant what they
said. Besides, after the closing of the
polls here last fall, Mr.. Douglas told sew
eral gentlemen that it was fair election,
and that he had polled his full vote. We
knew that he did even more. However,
he didn't draw on Campbell county quite
SO heavily as in the division matter. The
one polling place was established to pre-
vent fraud. Mr.. Douglass bill provided
for two polls-the one 1T Winona to vote
dead men, Campbellites and soldiers. The
establishment of another poll-at Will
iamsport-was due to the fact that Henry
thought the people of the county seat
would, through fear Of future contests
with Winona, do the cats-paw act and
help pull his chestnuts out of the fire.
But we stood by our friends; hence,
Hennery's discontinue. We have no fear
OF Winona. There is about as much
seat as there is Of the MISSING Link ab,
sorbing sense.
The RECORD must apologize for TAX
ing up few lines of space this week
in referring to the Organ" recently
established by H. F. Douglas on the
east bank Of the Missouri. We promise
that the offense shall not be repeated.
We are aware that, where two county
papers "fall together by the ears and
their shots are of spicy and readable
nature, it helps both journals in the wav
of circulation. But in the present in
stance we see neither honor nor profit
to us in such a course. As Douglass
circulation is confined to Douglass EN-.
ployes and Major Mclaughlin s red men.
in order that Emmons-county people
might understand to what we referred
the RECORD would be compelled to
reprint the slush from the columns Of
the division organ. This would only
tend to give it free advertising. Again.
judging from the Monkeys reputation
among newspaper men, and the peculiar
ity OF his editorial output thus far, he
Mouldn't be aDie TO comprehend any
thing but gibberish, and couldn't tell
when he was hit: It is easier to go
through the eye OF needle than to PEN
citrate the mental hide Of q two-leReed
Jackass. Casting pearls before swine is
just as foolish an act now az when the
events OF sacred history were happen-
ing. Disputation with one who writes
himself down an ass one day in each
succeeding seven is something we re.
spectfully decline, hereafter. Such sadis.
cussion'' would be neither instructive nor
entertaining. -
Fruits for Dakota.
At the meeting of the horticulturistss of
Dakota. held at Huron not long ago.
the following varieties Of fruit were rec
ommended for Dakota: ,s- s-ss's -
Apples: Wealthy. Duchess, Tetofski.
ana IN the Missouri valley as far west AsS