Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-03-27
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.

a dead lcttcr-X.
"Two heads are better than onc'-
when a fellow is bending over II picture
book with his girl
a writer says that too much coffee
drinking causes badness. He is mis-
taken. 1t is finding too much fault with
the coffee which a man.doesn't drink
The subject of O'Donovan Rossa's lee
ture is said to be, "Thngs | do not
know" We don't see how he can pos
sibly deliver it all inside of an hour and Il
half
a St Louis man made bet that he
would be killed in railroad accident, and
he was. The only drawback to his tr-
umph was that he didn't live long enough
to collect the stakes.
a Philadelphia woman was kissed by Il
ghost at Il seance, and since that time she
has attended every seance she could hear
of, and is going to spiritualist camp meet
ing next summer,
"rhe coming color is green" says
writer in an exchange. 1t is Il long while
in coming.
I When young man wins the hand of
his girl can he be said to bear Off the
palm
a Pennsylvania halter says that the
size OF the head is increased by excite
ment The kind of excitement Pennsyl
vanians indulge in is apt to have this re
suit, we believe.
The city of Washington consumes more
Cigars and tobacco in proportion to its
population than any other city in the
country. More things end in smoke there
than in any other city on the American
continent.
One Mormon editor in Salt Lake city is
underarrest for polygamyand another has
run away. We have no idea how the first
feels, but we do sympathze heartily with
the other one.
Groom wanted advertses IA young
man. That's the trouble with most young
men-they want room.
Minneapolis girls have red ribbon clubs
with the motto: "rhe lips that touch
wine shall never touch mine As this
does not exclude beer and such cheap stuff
we conclude that the girls could not quite
bring themselves to the point of dispens-
! ing with the attentions of good looking
young editors.
The London JTOrld says There are
now vacant three carriers, one of which
/ has been on hand for nine months" There
are Il good many gartcps in this country
that would be pretty vacant, if they were
on hand. instead of on the extremity to
which they belong.
| An exchange contains the startling in
/ formation that thermometer was eight
/ degrees below yesterday morning. How
cold eight degrees below yesterday morn
/ ing is we have no means of ascertaining.
Mrs. Michael O'Neil of Thompsonvile,
Mass, returning from four days drunk,
was gently struck by little circumstance
which occurred at IL certain place in the
road. The place was II railroad crossing,
and the little circumstance was the sudden
arrival of an express train.
Two Williamsport plumbers claim to
have seen the evil one. After this warn
ing we hope they will amend their ways
before it is too late
"A woman never uses her husbands
meerschaum pipe to drive nail with more
than once says an exchange. Not that
pipe mother pipe.
Cleveland is no longer in the hands CT
his friends. They are in his.-SdH Fran
/ cisco Post.
Two women called on O Donovan Rosa,
last Saturday. and told him they mad Il
machine for blowing up all England. The
great blower looked them steadily in the
mouth, and said he did not doubt it
Pittsburg Chroniclc-Tclcgr0ph.
"The markets begin to wear tropical
aspect writes a Boston reporter, rs an
Introduction To Il statement that he had
seen bunch of bananas at Il fruit stand
NCm orleans Picuynle.
Dp,f.s.,r To I h., bng Il
gymnasium for over twenty years, and
therefore must be entirely free from bias
or prujudlce, says that sparring is Il
healthy exercise Yes, yes, it may be, say,
ut fifty spaces, but not Il space nearer -
Boston Transcript
\ mans education is not complete until
he runs IL newspaper for Il while Then he
learns ii good deal that he did not know
befOre.-GdlrCStOn TCTdS, NcWS.
\ Wagner drawing room car exploded
the other day. This is something new. 1t
has been Il common thing. however, to see
the porter blown up,-LoWdl courier.
one thing must be said in favor of the
Missouri men who go To Washington. If
they don't see what they want they are
not afraid to ask for it.-.St. LOHiS GlObe-
Democrat.
The principal instrument of music in
China is the tOm-tom. II produces better
music than piano, and is much cheaper
Any one can readily make Il tOm-tOm by
tying two cats by the tails and hanging
them across IA clothes-line.-N cWmun IN
dCDCHdcnf
FL Mahdi never went sleigh riding in
his life all alone with pretty Yankee girl
in IA narrow cutter, and he never knew
t what it is to escort home the village beau
, ty by moonlight from a real old fashioned
> New England candy-pull, but he's had so
e much fun with the British this winter that
he says he is almost reconciled to the Joys
4 that he has lost.-SOmerrUlG JOurnul.
t The law of the road-"Be sure YOU are
t right. then 90 ahead. "-LOwcH courier.
t The new administration is to be con
4 graduated upon the very satisfactory
e manner in which the arrangements fOI
y the annular eclipse were carried out. -
+ boston TrdnScript
Too Bad. Maggie, To her stepfather