davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
FIl(1TI[.

Noah was not only a socialist but ap
arkist
An cxchequer A retired baggage
master
When a dealer in hosiery fails he socks
his creditors.
Very popular novel (among ofilce-hunt-
ers just at present." Put Yourself IN HIS
Place"
"A roller skating was not In vogue in
tie Garden of Eden, we are still! puzzled
to account for the fall of Adam.
First wretch: "How's your wife, old
man?n second wretch: Bully BAD
Geld; can't speak above whisper.
Nervous Girl" wants to know how to
cure tickling sensation about the lace.
Get him to shave off his mous'ache.
What is laughter ;" asked a scientist:
It is what you don't hear when you ma
your wife sitting up for you after the
club
When a man stays down town at his
Office until midnight trying to strike
balance. he generally loses it before he
| gets home.
"Well, my young gentleman. and how
would YOU like your hair cntw "Oh.
| like papa's please-with a little round
| hole at the top"
A grease spot can be taken out Of car
| pet By applying warm buckwheat bat
ter, and the batter can be taken out by
cutting hole in the carpet where the bat
ter was applied.
yes" said the school girl, who had
risen from the lowest to the highest position
in her class, I" shall have horseshoe for
my symbol, as it denotes having come
from the foot"
A colored woman. when reproyed for
undue expression of grief, said: Now,
! look heah, honey, when de Lord sends us
| tribulations down, don't you s'pose he
'speoM US to tribulate ?"
A Harlem Lille, on being told that she
had got a little sister, clapped her hands
| and exclaimed " How delightful !"
Then turning to the bearer OF the good
news she added Does ma know ?"
81 feel like Joseph: said sorrowing
husband like Joseph in the Bible; for
my wife is dead: she was crematcd, and
yonder stands the urn with the ashes in it,
and like Joseph, love my Pot-of-her."
Mamma, who tore Mr. BANDS hair
all out 9'' said little isabel Hush, child,
you mustn't speak OF such things. Papa
is bald. too. you know" YES, but I
want to know who tore Mr.. BANDS hair
all out f.. he isn't married"
Kate Field tells how the Mormon in.
Equity can be got rid OF. Give Them"
she says, whatever they are most op-
| posed to whatever they don't want, make
them have" Just what we have always
sad Give them plenty Of miliinary
stores.
Said that dapper little lawyer, Ambrose
II. Purdy, There is restaurant In
New York city where | can get
twenty four kinds Of meat and vege ables
for fit en- cents How do you do
that n asked Colonel Fellows II order
hash.'
Uncle "well, Ethel you've teen
locking at the fire long while What do
lou see there - Ltnel tdreany little
dear: "Oh. al sorts Of things, uncle
faces AID peop,c" johnny practical,
with an eye to tips =: 10 you see the
face OF anybcdy there who'd give You
half y dollar
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
THE GREED FOR OFFICE.

If there is one thing above another
that will lower ones respect for hui
mainly it is the inordinate hunger and
thirst for office, everywhere displayed.
From the little mountain school dis
trict, up through the town, the county
the state and the nation, on ali sides
are the seekers and schemors for office.
Dignity and self respect arc, seeming
", laid aside in the great race fOr hon
ers and spoils. When new admins
tration comes into power they spring
I'D by thousands. If the administration
embraces change of party then it is
by tens of thousands and there is no
rest or peace until the ravenous herd
are satisfied or driven, with sore heads
into their holes. What a pity that they
were not obliged to pull their holes i'll
after them, so that tncy might no more
be heard or seen among men. Annual
ly we have this display in almost every
town. Men, apparently, of brains,
wealth and Influence are schcming for
the empty honors and barren omolu-
ments of town office. For days before
election their friends are riding abou;
town scheming and fixing things.
Poor humanity! Nothing but Divine
Grace can ever save it from being cast
out into outer darkness. Into that re-
gion where they will hold the undes-
irable Office of heaping Goals of brim-
stone upon their own heads. The new
administration, nnder President Glove
land, is hardly inaugurated, ere they
swarm in and around the White House
like Egyptian locusts, they close up ali
entrance and egress to the departments,
and the man who is unlucky enough tC
be member of Congress must flee for
his life, or this famishcd horde vii
surely strange him. While all this j:
going OH, by direct personal appeal
thousands Of the more impecuneou,
are overlooking the mails with theil
prayers and petitions. Heaven and
Earth must be moved to accomplish
their ends. Gods laws are travefsed ant
the sacred hymns parodied; and from
Maine to California, from the gulf Il
the great lakes, through the length ant
breadth of cur country the cry goes up
want to be a Post Master,
And with the P Ms. stand,
A pad upon my table,
A stamp within my hand,
How I'd lick the postage stamps,
And read the postal cards.
I'd be the sweetest Democrat,
Praise Cleveland and his ''pards.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

These are some of the things which
make Dakota proud. 1t has $500 miles
of railway, more than any one of
twenty Old settled states. 1t has 1000
schoolhouses, more than any one of
fifteen states. 1t has 275 newspapers,
more than any New England state ex-
cept Massachusetts, or any Eastern
state except New York and Pennsyl-
vanir. In the number of post offices it
ranks above twenty-three states and
territories. and pays more revenue to
the Post Office department than any
orc Of twenty states, and it has a pop
ulation as large as Nebraska or Con-
nccticut, and nearly twice as large as
Vermont or Florida.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

The Rev, Aaron Cleveland, the Pres
ldents great Grandfather, settled in
Halifax III 1850, the year after the
city was founded, and established a
church known as "Mather's Church. .
after the great New England divine of
that day. He remained five years, and
was succeeded by Scotch minister.
The church then became known as ST.
Matthew's, and was the first Presby-
terian Church in the British Lower
Provinces. 1t is the leading church i'll
the city to-day. Its library, established
by Mr.. Cleveland, still contains many
volumes presented by min and bearing
his autographs. There are many rela-
tivus of his still in the province.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

The following are the chairmen of
the Senate committees, as constituted
latst week: On agriculture and forcs-
try, Miller of New York; on appropri-
ations, Alison: to audit and control the
contingent expenses of the Senate,
Jones of Colorado: civil service and
rctrcnchment, Hawley; claims, Pike
commerce, Mcmillan; District of Col
wnbia, Ingalls,; education and labor.
Blair; cngrosscd bills, Salisbury; en-
roolcd bills, Bowen; epidemic diseases,
Harris: to examine several branches
Of the civil service, Sabin; expenditure
cs OF public money, Collom; finance.
tIom@ll; fisheries, Palmer; foreign rela
ti0us, Miller, of California; improve
ments OF the Mississippi river, Van.
Wvck, Indian affairs, Dawes judiciary
Edmunls: library, Sherman; manufac-
lures, niddlcbergcr; military affairs,
Scwcl: mines and mining, Teller: nav
al affairs, Cemcron; patents, piatt
pensions. Mitchell; post offices and post
roads, Congcr; printing, Henderson
private land claims, Ransom; privil-
edge, and elections, Iloar; public build
ings and grounds, Malone, pnblic land,
Biumc; railroads, Sawyer; reyirsion OF
the laws Of the Uvitcd States, Wilson
of Maryland; revolutionary claims,
Jones of Florida rules Frye: terrific
riCs. Harrison; transportation routes tC
the sca-board, Aldrich; to investigate
the condition of the Potomacriver front
at Washington, Mcpherson; provision
for taking the tenth census, and asccr.
tanning the results thereof, Hale; to in.
ycstigate into claims of citizens of the
United States against the government
OF Nicaragua, MaXcy; woman suffrage
Cockrcll; on additional accommoda,
tons for the library Of Congress, Voor.
hcc3. 4 new committee on coast de-
fenScs was created, with Senator Dolpl
as chairman.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

The Weston W. c. u. L. held a
very interesting public session at the
town hall, last week, Tuesday evening.
In the enforced absence of the Pres,
tho Vice Pres, Mrs w. ID. Waite,
presided. The exercises consisted of
vocal and instrumental music, rccita-
tons and select reading, speaking, etc.
The speaking and singing by the chill
dren were specially good. The Union
is prospecting and has received additions
to its membership at every session, but
one. Special interest is being awaken
ed among the children. This is the
kind of work that pays in the long run.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

President Cleveland Friday, issued
proclamation ordering the "Oklahoma
Boomers from Indian land i'll the In
dian Territory, and warning all per
sons and associations against any or.
ganized and forcible entry and settle
ment upon the land. If this order is
not obeyed the military power of th'
government will enforce it.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

1t was significant statement of Ma
yor G. b. Cotton, of n. y, for twen-
ty-tivc years liquor manufacturer
1.-THE most temperate men in n. Y. are
the wholesale dealers. They dare not
drink the stuff they SELL" This is but
one of many similar acknowledgements
from authoritative sources. Nine tenths
of the liquors sold now days are con-
coctions of various poisons. Who cares
to drink them?
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

According to Bradstrect's figures the
New England States stand well, finan
cially, when compared with other sec
tons and states. New Hampshire is the
worst off of the six, owing S9.4S per
capita. The next highest is Connect
cut, sc 80; the next Massachusetts,, Sc.
81, and the fourth in the list is Maine,
$3.50 per capita. The debt of little
Rhode Island is but 1892 and there is
a sinking fund that viii meet it at ma
turity. Vermont stands practically out
of debt, owing but forty cents per cap
tia.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

Bellows Falls is to have the Vermont
Methodist conference the last of April,
the Congregational state convention in
June and the Universalists in August.
The mini sters have come to realize that
Bellows Falls is the most eligible place
in the state to preach salvation.-Brat-
tleborp RefoTper.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

1t is not true that EX-Presideni
Hayes has a hen that lays decorated
easter eggs. The story probably orig;-
mated with Tilden, who is mad because
Hayes got the drop on the presidency.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

STAND BY YOUR PRESIDENT, DEMOCRATS.
A Cleveland Democratic club would
meet "long felt want in Boston.
With two or three exceptions, no speech
es have been made at any of the various
Democratic assemblies in this city
which disclosed any active sympathy
with the obvious policy and aim of the
Democratic President. 1t might be q
good idea for the administration Dem
ocrats to form a club.-Boston Herald
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
DEATHS.

In Weston, Mar. 10th of Apoplexy, Rev.
L. S. Coburn, aged S6ycars.
In Saxtons River, Mar. 18th lmla Cory,
aged Is years and 5 months.
In Winhall, Mar 18th Patrick Duane,
aged 70 years.
In Peru, Mar. 18th Mrs. Joel Adams, aged
IS years.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

Cleveland still stands, like granite
wall, against the horde of Office seek
crs.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

The St. Louis Globe Democrat thinks
this prayer, which it credits to DR.. Ly-
man Becchcr, might be used by many
republicans today: "Oh, Lord, we pray
Thee that we may not despise or disre-
spect those who are set TO rule over Us
and we particularly pray that they may
not conduct themselves i'll such way
that we can't help it."
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

"Wear's Sure Cure for heaves" is
the only reliable remedy science has yet
produced. Sold by Smith & Taylor
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

A full set of Timers Tools and
Stock lately owned by Mark ii. Farms
worth, deceased. Said tools are first
class and nearly new. a large lot of
manufactured goods, l sap heater, Sill
gar pals, stoves and other goods usual
ly found in tin and stove store. Said
goods will be sold at reduced prices.
Shop open each afternoon from this
date, and at other times by calling at
the house. Mrs. Abbie S. Farnswoath,
Administrators.
Londonderry, Jan. 3, 1885.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

1t was thought thai on the 4th of
March the Republicans would 90 out Of
power, but it seems they still retain the
Presidency.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

Gen. Grants condition is quite as
favorable as last week.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
Report of the Condition


The WEST RIVER NATIONAL BANK, At JAMAICA In
the State of VERMONT, at the close OF business
Mar, 10, 1885,
RESOURCES.
Loans and discounts Ni''N 90
Oveadrafts goa
U. s, Bonds TO secure circulation 10000 90
Due from VT State Treasurer
Other stocks, bonds and mortgages 600 W
Due from approved reserve agents Blsoss
Real estate, furniture, and fixtures 1000 %
Current expenses and taxes paid ooSs
Premiums paid WV
Checks and other cash items 1854
Bills of other banks lo3o w
Fractional paper currency, nickels
and pennies IL
spece 1899 Is
Legol tender notes l,ssa 20
Redemption fund with U. $, Treasurer, o,
5per cent. of circuation) Z''oo w
Due from L. s. Treasurer, other than
5per cent redemption fund
Total sl26,962 80
LIABILITIES, $4,000. 40
Capital stock paid In Soo,ooooo
surnlns fund 1900 90
Undivided profits 4,O9l 20
National Bank notes outstanding S3,lo 20
Dividends unpoid 2iO IS
individual deposits subject to check 1870 O.
Demand certificates OF deposit 100 W
Total lo6,962 ~
STATE OF VERMONT, COUNTY OF WISDnAM, IS :;
|, JOIN \. BUTLER, Cashier Of the above named
bank, do soemnly that the above statement Is
true to the best of my knowledge and belief
JOHN A. BUTLER, Cashier.
Subscribed and sworn to before me this ID, day of
Mar, 1855. j. c. ROBINSON,
Notary Public
CoRRECT-Attcst:
+ f: ( I: S S $#ss+'"' Directors.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
100000 ,:, ,''': sens: ,'' s: E"

cents postage, and you will get JTee a
package of good of large value, that
will start you in work that will at once
bring you in money faster than any
thing else in America. All about the
100000 in presents with each box. A
gents wanted everywhere, of either
sex, of all ages, for all the time, OF
spare time only, to work for us at their
own homes. Fortunes for all workers
absolutely assured. Don't delay.
II. HALLETT & Co., Portland, Maine
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
Farm For Sale.

The subscriber wishes to sell the
small farm and buildings owned by
him, pleasantly situated miles from
the village of So. Londonderry, on the
road to Chester, containing about 40
acres.
This farm will be sold low, and
terms of payment made very easy.
Address or apply to
G. p. BURBEE,
Bondville, Vt. lift
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
MARRIED..

In Jamaic1, Mar. 9, by Rev, o. G. b.
ker, VIM. II. Brockington Of Bratdeboro,
ard Miss Auuie E. Wells Of Ianaica.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
BIRTHS.

In Londonderry. Mar. 10, son to \. W. J..
Wilkins and wife.
In jamaica, Mar. s, daughter to Fred
Ballard and wife.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

The temperature Of the mines on the
Comstock vein is exceedingly high At
depths of l,5oO feet and 2,Vo0 feet the
thermometer, placed III airesh-drilled hole,
will show 1870 degrees. Very large bodies of
water have run Tor years al l50 degrees,
and smaller bodies at 40 degrees The
temperature is kept dow. to 10 degrees
By forcing in fresh air cooled over ice.
1t costs the government S23, coo year to
fold the speeches Congressman and Sena-
tors send out as campa gil documents. Sena.
tors and Representatives use 1863 i20 worth
of stationery every year A chaplain for
the Senate or House is paid 500 a year
o messenger 81 40
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19

8 Jefferson Square. 1913 Dakota Avenue
The address on the LIFT IS understood to
be that OF the ladies ".!cn at their home,
and that OH their flgh. ,htir address in
Washington, viii . Inc .tcei ton day ap
pears between til. Two. i he whole natr.
rally has the ap. earunca Of a business
card and lady picking up card pre-
cisely similar 10 the above, one day, re-
marked, "Oh, that is tle full style oil the
firm, with the d!rec ions TO each of the
branch establishments"
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-03-19
For Sale

Bondville, Vt. l1t1
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-06-10
NICE POINT OF LAW.

4 somewhat singular case came up before
his honor II. c. Sluss, yesterday, which in
volved the jurisdiction Of a justice Of the
peace. This is the case: Recently young
man had been arrested in kingman county,
charged with having obtained money under
false preterses. lie was brought before
Capt. Sproule, editor of the kingman Dem
ocrat, who had been an officer in the rebel
army and was elected and qualified as a
Justice of the peace before his political
disabilities we're removed by the legislature.
He held the prisoner for the district court
and he was brought here and Is in the coun-
" jail. Yesterday Mr.. II. L. Strohm, Of
Kingman, appeared kefore Judge Sluss with
petition asking writ Of habeas corpus on
the ground that the commitment was in
valid, the Justice having no jurisdiction be-
cause Of lis disabilities when he qualified
Judge Sluss granted the petition and to-
morrow was set FOR determining the legality
Of restraining the young mans liberty. The
writ Of course is issued against the sheriff,
who viii be required TO show cause why he
shall. restrain the liberty of the petitioner.
Il. 2. Boles, county attorney Of kingman
| county, will represent the sheriff and Mr.. II.
l.. Str0hm the petitioner.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-06-10
HEARTS ARE TRUMPS.

Notwithstanding the lIessian fly. the fail
ure in The wheat crop. hail storms and cy-
clones orr people are just now displaying
wonderful hcroisrn. AID sheroi-m, in tack
Ing family relations. car sons sec that the
daughters IF men are fair and they aIe tax
ing unto themselves wives at a lively rate.
Besides Judge Glenn, who Is known to be a
conner. Mr.. VI. y Caryin and Miss Agnes
Ross. daughter Of Hon Wm. Ross, of Clear
water, we've married on Sunday last by
Judge Jewcii. and W. {. Seymour, Of Ar
kansas CITY. WAS married last night 10y the
same authority Marria.c licenses were
also issued yesterday To- Frank Dale and
Miss Wood. Of this city; Wm. Cohrau and
Hutaka Estes, of Payne township. and an
other ia citizen % Wichita. who don't
wan, the thing mentioned until after the
conflict. Mr. Frank Eckles, Of Philadel-
rhia. Pa. AMI Mss Gus>ie Schoeuielder, Of
Rochester. Y. Y. were aiso married DAY
befo-, yesterday a: the residence Of Judge
Jcwe,t. - the game goes on lively with
Frank Dale srd tina: other old citizen at
the hat and Baldcrston. Block ard stead
mar, ~, ,f,lL
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-06-10
IN The CIRCUIT COURT

/ petition Wa, filed IN the circuit court
BIZ Mr.. MARY r Grady. against The y T.
X :. T. railroad company. PRAYING for sio.-
Ooo for personal injuries sustained while
travelling As passenger on that railroad
Plaintiff attorneys are Mes--s. Campbell
aud Reed.
Charlie, Lsuu;r-. held uni1r commitment
from Kiasman. before justice Of the
peace ofths, place, sni confined in jail at
til, place. was granted writ Of hsbea'
corpus Ok Judge >luss. in chambers, retarn-
able on the II,h. - which time hearing
VII. be granted ana The legality u lis COM
nIi,mcn, inquired into. Dsfealaa; : held
under the charge Of obtaining money under
false pretense.
Applications are made daily b. aida
Wit before the ii.;-ic: caur: to- increase q
pensions.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-06-10

way and is seeking investments in the west
more now than ever before. Western in
vestments are generally good, and property
is constantly advancing"
.'Oh, there is no advance on eastern prop
erty Why, have property east that Is 60
ing the other way. We do not expect 1t to
advance there 1t is only owned there for
use, not for its probable increase.
.'Of course there is great contrast be-
tween this country and the old New Eng
land states, but this is a young country and
capable of great possibilities. | do not
think mar can make mistake in casting
bis lot in this city
aYes, l go to kingman tomorrow and
when ] return from there shall visit Les
Angeles, Cal, and shall probably visit this
place on my return cast
"Ah, yes, am highly pleased with pros:
poets Of Wichita. 1t is wonderful place
and has got the heels Of all competitors
Ny investments here are good"
The reporter bid COED night to the Con-
necticut man and could not help admiring
the enthusiasm Of the eastern visitor and ms
level head.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-06-10

All aboard To- Portland. Maine Grand
Army q the Republic. attention cr'y
$50 - To- tie round Trip via = LOUIS, For
Sesu K Wichita -liIr5aL Comnencin.
jane l3,l ard gp 80 AID Including June
aI,.. ~, sci -1gal ZIP tickets o Pert
land. Maine. $: Tie above ,5w -aia, :ieSets
good going i've days sfler date 4 sale aid
good T. -e;1-n thirty DAYS from Dat Of sale
New Is voa- cha1cs 90 VII; al the p-iaeiPai
cities Il til es.t ts- ! very s1la.. ss,1l- ard
sbc-e contemplating t-iP "a. Vi.i 10 well
10 take advantage 4 tbs big Iadrcensat
snd =. Every facility gwen aai courtesy
show-. passengers an3 patrons: tbs Hne,
and those who % all Tot regret Il, Fo-
further information. please cal On ua..sr-
signed a, depot. Second Asi Wiehi;A streets,
O. city ;:ckei 0tHca. lo9 Mzia street vheTe
all questions Vii bs answered - your salts
faction. AD- y JoNEs-
dl4-st Ticket Agent