West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-07-31
SMART ALECKS.
How the old Lady Got Even with Dudes
Who MaeN, Pun of a Son of TnII.

VINO MaoN Fun at son OF Toll.
One day last week hill car was com
ing down and stopped where n gang of
laborers had taken up an old rail and
were laying down new steel one.
Half n hundred were at work with
picks. shoVels and iron bars, and the
car had to stop until rail was laid.
and the passengers were inpatient Ii
was about noon and the laborers were
tired, and many OF them looked long.
ingly to the tin pail, under the shade of
trees on the sidewalk, and perhaps they
did not work rs earnestly as they did
earlier in the day IL was the usual
crowd OF passengers, old and Young,
rich and poor. Among them We, "A
couple of smart young fellows who do
not have to work, and whose life Is
spent I'm dressing and undressing. hold
ing canes, etc. Another passenger was
an old German lady. with neat white
handkerchief tied over her head, and a
tin pail on the seat beside her that
smelled of onions She had sweet old
face, that was as kindly ~ ever was
seen The passengers were watching
the men work, and were looking at
their watches nervously, when the two
young fellows began to make comments
on the slowness of the laborcrs.
Look at the fellow with tho blue
shirt, said one of the dudes. "Ho
raises the pick in the air. balances Il
aud then lets it drop of its own weight
Then he stops and waits for the pick TO
raise itself up again"
'Sec the one with brown overalls.
- Il,
millennium said the other
The old lady hitched ncryouslv on
the scat and looked disgusted at the
young fellows, and il was evident she
had a friend among the lnborers. TO
whom she was bringing the dinner.
She looked out of the window so sweet
ly as her old man, with crowbar in
his hand, looked up at her The tired
look all went out of his face when ho
saw the smile of "mudder," and il was
evident they had journeyed up aud
down the hill of life together for more
years than the dudes had lived.
Observe the old coon with the crow
bar, said one of the fellows. 'Ue is
slowing up for the banquet that will
shortly be spread under the UNI
brageous elm hard 10y, and he does not
wish TO ruin his appetite for the spread
by undue exercise before eating. Let's
invite ourselves TO lunch with them.
ehp"
Nav. thanks have previous en-
gagement,' said the other, though /
would like to join you i'm discussing the
tcrrapin and broiled chicken and
shrimp salad that he will be compelled.
all alone, to stow away under his
wamus. Some other day | will lunch
with you and your friend of tho crow
bar. But hush. bark, deep sound
strikes like a rising kncll 1t is tho
twelve o'clock whistle, and SEQ them
drop the tools and make for the shade
on the sidewalk, rs though they were
afraid of working a second too long {"
BY this time the old lady was pretty
mad and she turned To the Young men
and sad: II guess you never work
much mid n chuyel and a bick. for n
dollar and quarter day, dit youP
you never git up at wife over six
O'Clock in the morning, and take "A Cup
OF coffee and little placll bro'd, and 90
work. OF you dit you haf more sym
patles init dem mems. "
The Young fellows felt ashamed. and
blushcd, and all the passengers looked
glad because the old lady had shut
them up. They made one mistake.
however They laughed at the old
lady in an impuIent sort Of way. She
had talked pleasantly, as though she
felt hurt before, but now, after they
laughed at her, she locked spunky. She
got up TO 90 ont of the car. and OPEN
ing the tin pail, she took out an onion
in one hand and "a piece Of ancient
cheese in the other, and, putting the
.fr.v. -, I'll.
the cheese TO the nose Of the other. she
said:
you want 10 attend dc banquet nit
my olt man, ch. Veil, shmell dot.
How you kc BOT banquet He haf n
banquet like dot every day ven he get
work TO do, nit black bro'd. but ven be
not get york be only haf black bro d
und small piece sausage You make
fun NIT my hard working olt an. and
he break you i'm pieces and trOw Won
out dc window, YOU little fools YOU. 80
and the old lady took her pail aud went
out, and the car started. She went up
10 her husband and said " Here
fadder. / bring YOU dinner" and then
she talked German 20 him. and his
eyes followed thc car. and his hands
clenched, and hc looked as though be
would like 10 mop the floor with the
smart boys, and IL was the opinion Of
the pas lengers that If the car had not
got away just as did he would have
done so, and the dudes looked ~
though they were in luck that their talk
bad got them into no worse scrapo.
They soon left the car and with hand
kerchiet5 wiped imaginary cheese and
onion from their faces and 10 is be-
hcvcd by those who Witnessed the oc-
currcnce that they will -mell thatlunch
for "a month Served them right