The Portland daily press., 1885-01-23
(Toledo Blade.)
Nasby.
He Reports Troubious Times at the Cor.
nerS.


(Wich is III the State Nv Kentucky,
Dec. 12, 1884.
The question Nv the Federal offises is the
wun wich agitates the Corners jst now, to
the excloosion Nv evrythn else. Evrythin
in the shape Nv labor is suspended, the en-
tire eneges Nv the cityzens bein consentratid
on this wun pint.
Bascom, Deekin Pogram, Isaker Gavitt,
Kurnel McPelter and me had a cousultashen
over the mater, and we finally desidid upon
plan wich we thort wood settle the question
for ever, and ease down the pubik mind on
10 it. | oiijinated the skeem.
1t wuz plane thet eVry man in the Corners
wuz determined to git wun Nv the thre posi-
shens wich are to be filed by cutin orf the
beds NV the present incumbsnts, exceptin
the post offis, to wich evrybody consoles thet
hev the sole rite. Bascom remarkt thet he
wood like to fill wun Nv the places hisself,
fur the onor Nv it, but inezmuch ez he wood
gohle all the salties. wich wood be pade to
him fur whisky, enyhow, he thort thet he
Good afford to forego the oner, and Uherfore
he woodent be candidate.
The moment he sed theG seed lite.
"We hev EN- now" sed |. ether is egg
zacky 237 Dime kratic votes in the Corners.
Let us lshoo call fur meetin NV the Dim
ekratic electors Nv the Corners, aud beside
the mater by balolp'
swat good wood thet do?" asked the
Deekn. ''Evry man nv EN- wood vote fur
hisseIf, and thar we are agin. Wat better ar
we OFF then than now?'
I'VE will waite an see the glory nv the
Lord. Put yer trust in me, and lie pull yer
throo," sed.
Therefore we anounst thet on the next
Thnrsday, wich WIZ jest week ahed, the
dlmocrlsy w the Corners wood meet aud cast
their ballots fur proper persons to fill the po-
slshens Nv Postmaster, Colekter NV Internel
Revenoo, an Colekler NV Customs; that who
ever receeved majority Nv the votes Cast fur
each place shood be yo0banimusly recomen-
ded by The entire Dimocrisy for the posi-
shen named.
This wGz satisfactory, ez it appeefed, and
the eieckshun wuz he'd. Deekin Pogram.
lsaker Gavitt and Kernel McPelter met at
Bascom's the mornin NV the eleckshuD, and
| gic EN- direckshuns.
1T viii result this way: I shell be electid
yoonanimusly to the postoffis, for tibet posi-
shun ls yooniversay conseded to me. Evry
other Dimecrat 10 the Corners will vote for
hlsself Now wat we want to do is fur all
Nv us heer to vote for wun man, and We hev
EN-. Ther is present beer five votes. Ef we
i've consentrate on one man it will make list
majority Nv four fur the men we vote fur,
wich is a majority. SEE? We hev EN- and
tha can't compliance"
The ballots wuz cast and countid out, and
the result wuz jist wat We calkiatid onto.
Evry man in the Corners hed jist wun vote
fur the different places except the Deekin fur
Coleck er NV Revenoo, and Isaker Gavitt fur
Coieckter Nv Customs. Tia he'd five each,
givin EN- eileen majority Nv fore over eny
other candidate. Then spoke to EN- ez fol-
lows:
Fellow Dimecrats, we he'd agreed to abide
by the result Nv this balot, and the ballot hez
bid he'd. 1t appeers thet every Dimecrat in
the Corners hez percisely one vote for eech
NV ihe varus posishens, except me wich is
chosln yoonanmus, and Messrs. Gaviit and
Pogram, they hevin five each Me, Gavitt
and Pogram are therfnre yore candidates fur
them posishens, and it is to be hoped that
ther will be no kckin. Nothin is SO diss-
greable in a Dimecratic caucus ez kickin.
The voice Nv the people must be respected,
and the voice Nv the peple is fur these two
gentlemen by majority Nv fore. We shell
Therefore prepare the nessary document to be
sent to the next President at Albany, and
we expeck that evry Dimecrat at the Corners
bin the wun selectid.''
Then ther wuz a row, the dimenshuns NV
which / never saw exceeded 10 the histry Nv
the party.
Ez one man the dimocrisy riz, eech on hiz
respective hind feet, ana remarkt he'd be
dam eft be sined emmy sich thing. The eau
Gus he'd bin packed, and ther he'd bin bargin
and sale. Thtr Wuz DO reason why five men
shood git together To elect eech other, AMI
they W cd not staid il.
''Wat will you do?' | asked.
s'We won't stand it,'' they replide, and
they leil the house.
Wat did they do? Every blastid one NV
em wrote out petishn recommendin hisself
fur the place he wantid, denounsin the ack-
sben Nv the eleckshun eZ a trOd, and swarm
thet he WIZ the choice NV jst ez many of
the dimocrisy ez any other one.
But wuz not at The eeDd NV my rssoorc-
es. he'd a ,bunderboIt in reserve. I went
10 the most noisy NV the lot and remaSkt to
EN- thet it WIZ all we enuff to git the ap-
pintment, but thet after the appintment it
wood be found necessary TO Civ bonds, wich
bed to hev OF EN- the names Nv property
owhers NV suffishunt welth 10 make the guy
ernmeBt sekaOr.
Wher Good they find bondsmen? Ez G.
W. Bascom he'd ben seliin' l'sker in the Cor
ners fur quarter Nv a Gentry be he'd ab-
e0r0ed the entire capital NV The Corners, and
he wnz the only man in he visinity whose
name wood anser Oh bond. Wuz be not
committed TO Gavlt and the good Daekin?
He'd they not better lo k into this view of
the case trfie afore takin desprit steps agin
The peece Nv the Corners?
This wuz, TO yoose vulgarsm, a corker.
The j.e Nv givin bonds he'd never okkurd to
EN-. They turned pail, and INDUCED in nro
family wich wuz ehockin to heer. Bondsl
A Dimekratic admnistTashun to require
Bondsl They sposed tibet civil servis re-
form ment the givin Nv the offises to men
without bonds, truslin intrely to ther nat
eral recktitood.
They bed never thot Nv this, and they wuz
harty in dammin Government wich re-
quired bonds NV offs holder.
Watts the yoose NV holdin' a offs eff we
can't make nothin' Oy defaultin?" they
asked. ''Wat hev we bin abrin fur Dimoc-
rsy all these yeers, ef we hev to Civ bonds
agin takin whatever Gums into our hands?
D--u politix, enDyhowp'
Wat the upsbot Nv it will be remanes to
be seen. The Corners is deprest, wich wuz
showed by sevral Nv EN- gon 10 work yester.
day. They dam civil servis reforn, they
dam the offises, and sum heritix wish they
he'd votid tur Blalne. Ef they can't hev the
places, they remark, they'd ez soon see
Blaine President ez Cleveland. But we hey
the places fixt fur the present.
PETROLEUM V. Massey,