Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1885-07-10
PITHY POINTS.

$50 you are the new girl, said the
boafders tie pretty waiter lass. And what name
are we to call your Pearl" said the maid With a
saucy toss of her head s.om asked the smart board
er, you the pearl of great price? NC; lam the
pearl that was cast before swine"
-s.Rello, Smith! Suppose man marries
his first wifes stepsisters aunt what relation is he
to herr" First wife step -aunt-er-let's
don't know" "Brisht fellow! He's her husband
AN army of men, once good citizens
might date their moral deterioration from the day
they stopped working and went to office-seekng or
oniceh holding. good, steady, private business is
better for most (This is not intended for men
who have nothing to loose. y FITZGERALD.
"A parish clerk was assisting clergy
to robe before the service commenced, and said
to him, please, sir, I'm deaf" 'lndeed, my good
man., said the cnrate, '.then how do you manage to
follow during theservice?" why, SIR says the
clerk 'I1ooks up, and when you shuts your mouth
l open mime
My dear wife, this man and [ were in
separable friends at college. When one had no
money he always used the pocket book OF the other
is it So Mr. Miller?" Eyes, just SO; and remem
Der very well was always the other"
Health is in fashion Girls no longer
pride themselves upon painfully pinched feet, spi
der-ike waists, and breakfast appetite which can
compass nothing than a sip of coffee aud a
erumb of toast.-MIsSA CAROLINE SMITH
The longest legitimate WORT in the
English language is spronortionableness.
The greatest gift the hero leaves his ra ,e
ia tn have haau hare
The seeds OF thinge are very small.
The last word is the most dangerous of
Internal machiiies,-Jerrold.
Love gives insight, an insight often gives
ferebo ding.-George Elliot.
They are happy whose natures sort with
their vocations Lord Bacon.
There is not single moment in life that
can afford to lose.-Go ulburn.
The blessedness of life depends far more
on its interest than on its comforts
The earnestness of life is the only pass.
port to the satisfaction of fe-Theadore Parker
The reason why men succeed who mind
ler own business is that there is SO little compe
tition.
There are many men whose tongues
tongues-Prentice.
Here is good spelling for liquor store
ad, ertisemcnt, Vines, Ails and Bier-Home Evan
gelist.
Il hate to see thing done by halves; if
It be right, do it boldly;f be wrong, leave it un.
done.
Victor Hugo defines paradise as ga
country where the parties are always young and the
children always little
Wear your learning like watch, in
your Pocket, and don't endeayor to show it unless
you are asked what o'clock it is.
The sting of a bee is only one-thirty- -sec-
ond of an inch long tits your Imagination that makes
it seem as long hoe-handle.
The person who has firm trust In the
Supreme Being is powerful in his power wise by his
wisdom, happy by his happiness Addison
Men who think for themselves do not
believe quite SO much as those do who take what
they have from hearsay; but it is better quality Of
| faith.
True greatness consists in doing what
deserves to be written, in writing what deserves tc
be read, and in making mankind happier and better
for your life.
-Dsputers are captains of ragged regi-
ments of arguments, and when multitude are gath
cred together in rout they seldom dispense until
some mischief is done.-Duchess of Newcastle
Ten yards of Irritation and bushel Of
gush are mentioned by a Boston paper a complete
seaside outfit for the average young lady.
Huxley says a primrose is "a corolaoral
dcotyledonous exogen;" and yet some people handle
/, these things without having been vaccinated.
Senator Sherman has returned to
the East