Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-07-08

above the floor. In front of the candles
was what looked like music school, the
schoolmaster sitting up on high three
legged stool with a big stick in his hand,
though it did look to me as if them boys
was too old to be whipped. There was
every kind of musical instrument you ever
heard of. There was drums as big as hogs
heads, drums as big as flour barrels, and
drums as big as pals.
Then there was big fddles, middle-sized
fiddles and little fiddles, and long horns,
twisted up like the brazen serpant, and all
sizes from that down to a baby whistle,
and there was every size and sort of tam
borines, besides plenty of instruments l
never see Or hear of before. 1t altogeth-
er reminded me of that consert of Nebu-
chadnazzar we read of in the Holy Bible, and
| have no doubt that they had the sack
but, psaltary, dulcimer, and SO forth,
among the machinery I didn't know the
names of.
Well, while l was workin' out these
here thoughts the old music teacher give
his stick watt, as much as to say, "Now
my fine fellows, do your best, or you'll get
a taste of this" And tell you they went
at it neck and heel, each one of 'em tryin'
to beat the other. l never heard such a
din. 1t was liks happenin' in at a menag-
erie at feedin' time, and all the lions, I'll
gers, hyenas and Jackasses were believing
at one and the same time; and the old mu-
sic teacher he swung that stick threaten
ing them old boys, until it seemed like he
got SO wore out he could jest manage to
move it soft like; and believe me as soon
as them boys see he was sorter disabled
%,,1 xo1 L, 1a,
ser and lesser, till you could hear only the
sweet. Eff it had jest lasted minute
longer think I might have caught that
chune, if there was one; but the old man
got up hls wind too soon, and away they
all went again like pack of hounds in full
cry. At last human natur' couldn't stand
no more, and they blowed and beat them
selves clean out, the school-master dropped
his stick, and the boys fell back breathless,
and before they could get up more steam
the curting went up and the Opery began.
You want to hear the story, does you?
Well, it was pretty, but of hadn' It read that
library never would have knowed what
they was after.
You see there was widOWer Count with
a name sounded like it was Arnold or some-
thing, and it had a pretty little gal which
her name was Arleener, and she and her
nurse was in the room with him when the
curting goes up, and the Count begins to
sing how sorry he is his wife is dead, and
how he loves his baby. Just think of that
singin' all that, and liftin' mp the little gal
and kissin' her to music Who ever heard
tell Of sich nonsense? Do you suppose if
my wife was dead would go and sing to a
thousand or so people to tell 'em how sorry
was, and how I loved my baby? No; it's
agin nator from beginnin' to end. Well, as
soon as he got through he went away, and
the nurse takes the little gal up in the
mountains to pick flowers. They had bard
ly got out before here came big fat Polish
er named Thaddeus. He was waller, too.
The Count walled in voice most fine enough
for woman, but Thaddeus was base
waller 1T sounded like thunder and he
sung first in the lower part of his chist, and
l thoughtit was morally impossible he could
60 any lower, when he jumped right down
to the lower part of his stomach, and before
you had time to wonder how he could do it,
there was his voice way down in the soles of
his boots. 1t certainly was feenominer
how he could do it. Well, his wall was all
about his country, how he had been banish-
ed, and if he went back he would have his
head cut off, and all that. 1t would been
real distressin' of it had only been natural
for him to cry and groan and grunt to
music. Jest as he finished his story, here
came in a party of Gipsies, running in that
sudden from all the openin's of the stage
hat it took away my breath. They rushed
light up to Thaddeus and was going to kill
him then and thar to the sound of music,
when ther Captain, which had the name OF
Devilshoof Ga bad name that for an honest
man) he see Thaddeus was soldier and
stopped the killin'. Thaddeus sung 'em a
history of his troubles, and then they all
broke out like house afire screechin' at
him: ga Gypsey's life is the life to lead, !"
and they rung the changes on that noble
sentiment till Thaddeus lost his head entire
ly, and said he would jine to 'em and then
and thar they put on his Gypsey clothes.
In another minute thar was another lung
tearin', ear Dustin blowouts. Men, women
and children rushed in singin' at the top Of
their voices that the Counts little gal and
her nurse had been eat up by wild animal
in the mountain. Then there came the
Count singin' how sorry he was. I was
fairly out of patience with his unnatural
ness, instead of runnin' out to save his child,
to walk up and dowu before all them people
singin'. amt no sort of patience with
dead beats. Thaddeus had more sense he
picked up gun which was lying handy, and
away he went. Them mountains and wild
beasts must have been right at the door, for
Thaddeus was hardly gone before he was
back again with the baby in his arms, he
havin' been to the mountains. killed the wild
more than three minutes. He was sight
fhA ovfo of
Well, thenther wassanother ear bustin'
lung tearin' blow-outs. The Count en-
braced and kissed the baby to music, and
sent her on to the house to have little
scratch on her arm tied up, which was all the
hurt she had, which it shows you can't
believe anything you hears. The report
was that baby and nurse was eat up the
nurse wasn't hurt, and the baby had a flea
bite. doubt myselfif there was any wild
beast in the matter; all to get up sensation.
But the Count believed it you could see
that by the way he acted. He shook
Thaddeus' hand and sung he was so much
obliged to him. Thaddeus sung it didn't
make no difference in the world. The Count
sung couldn't he do something for him
Thaddeus sung no he thanked him. The
Count sung wouldn't he take glass of
wine? Thaddeus sung he didn't keer if he
did.
Then, as bad luck would have it, the
Count purposed the health of the Emperor,
which was the same which had banished
Thaddeus, and Thaddeus dashed his glass
down and broke it all to pieces, which
made the Count so mad he forgot all about
whot Thaddeus had done, and had him
arrested then and thar, and Devilshoof, too;
but Devilshoof was too smart for 'em he
got hold Of the baby, and every body took
after him /; but he ran across bridge, and
took little knife out of his pocket and jest
cut it down after him, and the curting come
down, while the people fairly yelled and
clapped their hands and tried to outdo the
Opery in noise.
Then the little man next to me, which
was bald headed and had the prize spy
glasses, took 'em down and wiped EN-, and
said settlin' himself, sit will be twelve
years before the next scene."
I was perfectly dufhbfoundered at his
sayin' such thing, and sez, sez I: SIS
that a joke sir? for 1 can't stay here no
twelve years. am from Georgy, and my
wife and child are there and I've got my
livins tn make -