davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-17
l Had a Dreadful Cough,

and raised . considerable amount of blood and matter; besides, was very thin, and so weak | could scarcely go about the house. This was the case of . man with consumption arising from liver complaint. He recovered his health eosspleley by the use of Dr. Rerce's Golden Medical Discovery" Thou sands of others bear similar testimooy.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-17

Professor Proctor says it is possible that acomet may whisk it's tail over all the world and brush us of into spaee.s This possibility should not alarm jour- nalists who work on "space."-Noyyfs- kown Heyald. l 91 t- acE
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-17

@ The Simple and PeAect Dyes. Nothing 90 simple and perfect for color ing as Diamond Dyes. Far better md cheaper than any other dye. roc. Drug gisss seli them. Sample card for 7c. stAnp. WeIls, Richardson & Go, Bur lngton, Vt
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-17

@No," sadly said very tall Brooklyn girl this morning, sit Is not the longest stocking that catches the most eAsistmas presents.-Nesv Kork /cMysaL.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-17

It is said that Bismarck has an eye on Egypt. The other is engaged in wafch- ing the horns of the Reichsfag.--x0s0s9 CoNS1sy.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
Banking Intelligence.

He wanted a position in an AustiV
bank. The President was satisfied with
his credentials, but before engaging him
put him through little civil-service
cross-examination.
Suppose now, a man was to come in
here to deposit twenty dollars in one
dollar bills, how would you count
them?"
I'D wet my finger and lift up each
bill until / got to the last one?"
"Why would you not lift up the last
one?"
Because there might possibly be one
more bill under it, and if the depositor
was to see it he would want it back, but
If the twentieth blu is not lifted up and
there should be another bill in the pile
the bank makes it, don't you see"
"You will do" said the bank Presi
dent "You have been in the business
before, but didn't suppose you knew
that trick. "-TszaS Siftings.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
Stepped ut Niagara Falls.

A man. seemingly about sixty year.
Of age, was telling the people in the
waiting-rooms at the Third Street Depot
yesterday that he had been East to old
Massachusetts to see his sisters, and
that on the way back he stopped of al
Niagara Falls.
That's place | never saw" re-.
marked q woman with q e-bonnei
on.
"You didn't Well, you've missed the
awfulest sight on earth l was jest
stunned"
What is il like?r she asked.
swell, there d river, and the falls,
and lots of hotels. and several Iniuns.
and the bride veil, and land only know 5
what else. If my old woman had a-been
along she'd have wilted right down. T"
There's water there | suppose?'
''Oh, heaps of it. II pours and thun.
ders and roars ard fOams and bumps
around in the terriblest manner. You
have bit on a shirt-butt0n in q piece of
pie. haven't you?"
mo, sir.
well, the feeling was about the
same-kinder shivery. Why, the big
gest man that ever lived amt hall AS
big as Niagara Falls! Let him stand
thar and see that 'ere water tumbling
over them ere rocks and be can't help
but feel what a miserable hoss fiy he is.
You've fallen out O. bed haven't you?"
mo. SIR"
'"Well, it's about the same thing, you
wake up and find yourself on the floor,
and feel a if you had been stealth
sheep or Robin blind men,"
"What portion of the falls did YOU
most admire?" she asked.
1.-The water, num-" he promptly re-
piled. If you'd put ten thousand kegs
of beer on the roof of this building and
set them all running, they co1ldnt be-
gin with Niagara It's the terriblest,
appallingest thing ever patented"
''Cost you much?" in .uired a gentle.
man.
Bout siNty-five cents. It's pooty
tight times, and siXty-five cents don't
grow on every bush, but l amt sorry.
It's sunthin to talk about for twenty
years TO come. There's a chap in our
town who used TO travel with a circus,
but he III have TO take a back seat when
get home. Flip-iioppin' around in a
circus don't begin with Niagara Falls"
so, on the whole, you were pleased.
eh?''
PLEASED. Why, was tickled halt
to death! / tell you, if had one on my
farm | wouldn't sell it for no fifty dol
lars in cash! I've looked into a field
whar' seven hundred and fifty fai hogs
was wsitin' to be sold for solid money,
but it was no SIGH sight as the Falls.
I've seen barns afire. and eight horses
runnin away, and the Wabash River on
tear, but for downright appalling grand
eur of the teriblest kind gim me one
look at the Falls. You all orter 90
thar. You can't half appreciate it till
you've gazed on the rumpus- "-DetrOii
Free Press.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
They Drove Him In.

The owner of a place on Sibley street
appeared in front of the house yester-
day morning with step-ladder and
saw and began the work Of trimming
up his shade trees While he was at
the first limb q pedestrian halted and
queried:
Going to trim your trees. eh?"
Yes"
"Um. l see. First-rste time to trim
trees. Um. Exactly"
He hadn't got two blocks away be-
fore number two came along and called
out:
"Going to trim your trees. eh'"
"Ahl I see. Ought TO have waited .
month later"
The limb was off when No. 3 halted.
stood for minute with his hands in his
pockets. and then asked:
Going to trim your trees. ehe"
Yes
fought to have done at last
month"
No. said that April WAS the proper
month. No. wouldn't trim q tree ex-
cept in May. No. 6 thought Novem-
Der the best time of year, and so it went
until every month in the year had been
named and there were five or six indi-
viduals to spare. Before the last tree
was finished the seventeenth pedestrian
halted. threw away the stub of his cigar
and loudly demanded:
Going to trim your trees. eh?"
The man hung his saw to limb, got
down off the ladder. and splitting on his
hands he walked close up to the inquirer
and said:
"Supposing l am! What are you
going to do about it?"
"Oh, nothing" answered the other,
rs he lodged around pile of brick; 81
was simply going to ask you if you
used tar or porous plasters to cover up
the scars"
The citizen got his saw and ladder
and disappeared in the house, and the
remainder of the work will be done at
night.-DetroI Free Press.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
0ld.Rashioned Furniture.

Quaint .'bits" of old-fashioned furni-
ture have for long time past been
much sought after, and pretty examples
are now IL be met with in almost every
house of refinement and taste. One
occasionally meets with old-fsshioned
things which from change of circum-
stances can no longer be used for their
original purpose. The silver-handled
steel knives and double-pronged or
tined fOrks-which most members OF
the present generation have never even
eeen-were, when not in use, stored
away in . specially made satin-wood
or mahogany box, often beautifully
decorated with inla:d marqueterie
work, and in the better examples the
mountiDgs were of chased silver. The
interior of the box was apparently
solid. with separate slit for each knife
and fork, which, handle uppermost
stood upright. Until 10 entiy these
beautiful specimens of the cabinet
work of bygone age could be pur-
chased for q few shillings each. Some
one has lately discovered that by
removing the interior false top and
adding divisions for paper and envel-
opes, these old knife boxes can be easily
transformed into choice and eovetable
stationary cabinets, and dealers are now
buying them up, and when transformed
are asking almost as many pounds as
they gave shillings. Another ingenious
person. lady well known i'm society
has discovered that the highly-polisbed.
sld-fashioned double-handled plethoric
copper or brass tea 'urns, wherewith our
great-grandmothers delighted TO adorn
the table when their friends asse mbled
to discuss dish of tea, can easily be
transformed into noble table lamp of
striking proportions. The urn proper
forms the body, and paraffine lamp.
with its ordinary glass receptacle for
oil. is fitted into the space formerly oc-
cupied by the heater, which with the
lid is, of course, discarded. The pro-
iecting spout is likewise banished, and
a simple metal boss, with q correspond
ing one for uniformity on the other
side. To complete, an extra large
shade is fitted over an octagon-shaped
wire framework of ordinary coustruo-
Chambers journal
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10

During the troublesome times before
and subsequent TO the revolution the
Isles of Shoals, off the coast of New
Hampshire, were the resort and hiding
, places of the freebooters who haunted
toe northern coast, and these silent
rocks. if they could speak. would tell
many 4 tale of bloody cruelty and
gloomy wrong. The pirates used to
come here to divide and hide their booty,
and melt up the silverplste they cap
tured from the colOnists along the coast.
For q long time it was supposed that
bushels of doubloons were buried in the
gaping creviceS of the rocks, or the
little caves that have been eaten out of the
lodges by the restless tide; but the place
was thoroughly searched b. several
generations of fishermen, and nothing
more valuable than a rusty cutlass or u
bu st blunderbus was ever found.
The grandames tell how Captain Kydd
came here often las he sailed as he
sailed, and there are legends of other pi-
rates quite as fierce and Tree as he. The
Star Island used to be haunted by a
beautiful specter with long white robes
and golden tresses reaching to her heels,
who used to come out of some undiscov-
cred cavern at dawn and shadowing her
eyes with a hand that was as white and
beautiful as 4 lily's bosom, gaze oil
upon the sea in hopeless expectancy
OF the return of a clipper that sailed
away and never came back again.
The story goes that bloOdy-hearte0
old pirate. being pursued by cruiser,
brought his beautiful mistress here aud
left her while he went out to battle,
telling her that by dawn he would be
lack again, but he came not. not even
till now. She died of starvation, but
her faithful spirit still comes to the sum-
NIT of the island us the sun rises each
morning, to meet the corsair, who never
returned.
There are eight of the islands, the
smallest being Is large, or rather Is
small. as city building lot, and the
largest containing only a couple oi hun
dred acres nothing but bare. lifeless
rocks, carved by the inccSsant waves
into strange grotesqueness, and covered
by no vegetation except low clinging
vines and the New England BURBERRY.
Four of the islands are inhabited. the
largest, the Appledore, bears a hotel
and a few cottages. Star Island has
another hotel and 3 small settlement
of fishermen. a third has few
huts, and the fourth has q
bold, white lighthouse springing out of
its crest. They were discovered by
Captain John Smith, the friend of Poca-
hontas. who in 1914 explored the New
coast in an open boat, and
spent some time here making repairs
and resting.
On Start sland stands the only monu-
ment erected in America TO Captain John
Smith it is a rude agair-a prismatic-
shaped shaft of marble, upon pedestal
of sandstone, inscribed at length with
the record of his valorous deeds, and
some cvclopedias say he is buried Eere.
but that is mistake. -DetroH free
Press.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
GENERAL GRANT.

The news of Gen. Grants serious
illness, after all, has taken deep root
in the American heart, and even
those who have been opposed to him
in a political sense, cannot help re-
GREETING the spectacle of man who
has faced death on the battle field so
many times, day by day waiting for
the foe which he knows is near, but
which leaves him SO helpless to fight.
In this view of the matter too, the
innate nobility of the people rises
bove the decree which prevented his
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10

-" What is the meaning of that ret
line above the fourth story of your
houseP" asked a stranger of q man
near Pittsburgh. ''That is a water
mark. That mark shows how high the
water was during the great overflow
about year ago" Impossible! If the
water had been that high the whole
town would have been swept away"
1.-The water never was that high. 1t
only came up to the first-story window,
but the cursed boys rubbed it out three
or four times, so put it up there where
they can't get at it 1t takes a smart
man to circumvent those boys. "-Ts1os
SiItsnQs.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
No Danger From Randolph County

No Danger From Randolph County
The citizens of Sedalia are happier
just now. The legislative committe'
on the removal of the state capital re
ported favorable on removal last week.
IF they ever get the capitol on wheels,
there wants to be keen eye kept on
St. Louis and Kansas City or they
will "bank" heavy enough TO capture
the thing while it is portable. Sc
dalia is the place, if it is moved, un-
less the metropolis of Randolph county
should put in bid.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
She ia Welcome to It.

BO0nville Advertiser.
The state capital must be removed.
The house committee has reported fav-
orably on the resolution to submit the
question, and it is thought the senate
will concur. IF the question is sub
mitted to the people we believe that
Sedalia will get the capital. Per-
haps Jefferson City will be allowed to
retain the penitentiary.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
She Shall Have Them.

Windsor Review.
When Sedalia gets the capital she
wants to give Windsor a vote of
thanks. for she would never have got
it if she had not got a Windsor boy
to help her. Billy Steele was born
and raised in Windsor.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
Exactly So
st. Louis, Chronicle.

st. Louis, chronicle.
If can be shown that the removal
of the capital to Sedalia, or any other
live town in the state, would tend in
any to improve the average Missouri
legislature, taken collectively, by all
means let the procession move on.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10

She was going on journey and q
long nights ride was befo.e her. "Oh
dear" she sighed, as her husband babe
her goodbye in the sleeping-car, "this
night travel is so tedious, and the hours
are so long" Don't be discouraged,
he said, "you are on fast train and
the night will slip by very rapidly
Boston "ScTipt.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
PRETTY WOMEN.

Ladies who would retain freshness and
vivacity. Don't fail 10 try "Wells Health
Remover"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-10
Did you Sup

pose Mustang Liniment only good
for horsesl 1t is for infamma-
ton of all flesh.
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1885-03-03

Gen. John A. Logan and Colonel
w. r. Morrison are the caucus nom
nees Of the Republicans and Demo
Gratis, respectively, Of the Illinois Leg
slature for United States Senator
from that State. The ST. Paul GA
zette says they commenced public
life together, being members of the
same Legislature, and each represent
ing the same county in which he was
born. They were both political lieu
tenants of Stephen A. Douglas, when
he held Illinois in his grasp. They
entered the army together as Colonels
of regiments, and both were wounded
at Fort Donelson on the same day
and IN the same assault. They have
always been the warmest personal
friends.
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1885-03-03

friends of the bill seem TO be its greatest
enemies, for they arc determined TO talk il
o deHih"
From Sacramento down The river for a
'li.'ancei 9f thirty lalsa5 ihe country is al
nj st one GO tinuolls afcIlari, md from
what can le;4rn ihepNincss have most all
growa rich, fruit tsruliiisb ing one of the
hest paying industries I tie State.
The climate Of california is delightful
and while the people of Eastern Sales are
suffering from destructive floods and ice
gorges, and The people, If Chicago and She
Northwest are shivefing with exirtm
cold, the people flhis State are ENJOYING
warm sunshine and |, balmy atmosphere
that betokens The approach ot earl spring
Yours, trh'y, Now AND THEN.
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1885-03-03

A printed protest, of large proper
tons, against permitting Masonic So
cieties to participate in the dedica-
ton of the Washington monument to-
day, has been received by the Con-
gressioual committee charged with
the arrangements. The signers claim
to have $4,000 signatures. The pro-
testants say the Masonic Order has no
more right to such distinction than
the tlibernians, or any other secret
order The stone sent by the Pope
for the monument was, they say, bro
ken up and thrown into the Potomac.
Why, they ask, are Catholics snubbed
aud Freemasons honored? Freema-
sonry, they say, is of foreign birth,
and is entirely un-American and I'M
republican. Its public displays are
pompous and barbaric, its Titles ex-
travagant and lordly, its constitution
despotic, its oaths eNtra-judicial,
which Webster said should be sup
pressed by law. They pray that only
such ceremonies as are national in
their scope and Amerlcan in theil
character be permitted. The protest
came too late for action by the com
mittee.- TEX.
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1885-03-03

A Suakim telegram says: The ar
rival of British troops has alarmed
Osman Digma, who is trying to gather
large force at Sauna. Osman re-
Gently killed messenger from Taxa
bearing news that the Mudir of Don
COLA, assisted by the Shukrai tribes,
engaged in a battle with the Haden-
dowas, who had attacked the friendly
tribes supplying The English with
grain. Two thousand Hatlendowas
were reported killed BY the Mudil
and lis allies
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1885-03-03

a special from Erie, Pa, says: The
remains of the daughter Of John Wells
were being carried into the Methodist
church at Wesleyville, Pa, by four
young lady poll-bearers, when two Of
them slipped on the recovered steps
and the coffin fell. The casket was
burst open, allowing the corpse to roll
out upon one of the PROSTATE young
ladies, who was frightened into insen-
sibility. The body was replaced, and
the service conclu led At the en-
trance to the cemetery the handles of
the casket broke and the corpse again
rolled out. AS the remains were be-
ing lowered, the cord slipped and the
| casket was smashed at the bottom al
the grave. The grave-digger losing
his balance, fell into the grave upon
the corpse, and was drawn out palsi-
ed with fright Another casket and
tshroud were then procured, and the
remains at last found rest.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-12-31
TWO ANGELS.

Across the night the silence regns un-
As death and birth again are merged in
By us. the watchers, not a word is spoken
Until. At length, we catch the bells clear
tone.
And then we turn with heart-warm words Of
Handfast and smiling, of fair wishes fam,
Earnest that, through the year we now are
meeting.
Loss may be lessened, pleasure vanquish
! pain
All. yet, for all goodwill, must sorrow find usl
How many years. begun in hope and joy,
Lie shrouded in mist of tears behind us,
Or dark with sins regret can ne'er destroyr
The hands so warm in New Years passive
The eyes so full of love shine here no more;
The gracious lips-In dreams alone we kiss
them.
Their music echoing: 'only gone beforer'
Still zone Increasing purpose" that we doubt
Fnlfls itself through all the years re-
Mid symphonies that casual dscords rout
not
Times Losses go to swell eternal gains!
From leafess bough. from cloud inert, there
springeth
Full bud or verdurous blade, with promise
fraught;
From winter disenthralled. each blithe bird
singeth
The nil acle OF life from death outwroughtl
Across the night the silence reigns un-
DTrken.
Two angels Ger each threshold now have
trod:
One bearing uttered speech. on words un-
SPOKEN.
This issuing from, that going back to. God.
John Moran, in Youths COmpdli0n
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-12-31
Not Anxious to be a Guest.

"What do you mean by this sort of
treatment, waiter? Here you've kept
me waiting full half hour for my din
ner, and you haven't brought me a sim
gle thing / ordered after all"
81 done de bes' / could, subj"
Perhaps you did, but you oaght to
be more considerate. Remember that
this is country where the most unex-
pected things frequently happen, and
you may not always be waiter"
"How so, suh?h
Because some of these days you
may have the bad luck to be guest
yourself. -
''Fo' deah life, 1 hope rot suhr'-
Chicago Ledger.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-12-31
EXCITING ELECTIONS.
How Mexican Partisans Fight Parliamen.
tary Election Battles

HOW MeXlcan IarI1SaDS right Parliamen
tary Election Battles.
Parliamentary elections must be rath-
er exciting in Mexico, judging from the
liveliness which accompanies municipal
contests in that delightful country.
Even when local feeling runs high it is
rare that these latter struggles give rise
in the United States to anything worse
than strong language. In Mexico, on
the contrary, deeds are considered far
more effective than words, especially
when carried out with revolver and
bowie knife. Thus, we read without
surprise that at Buztamente the other
day the two factions turned out heaxily
armed, and fought in the streets for
several hours. After a time, too, they
appear to have fired and stabbed quite
promiscuously, without caring whether
they killed friend or foe. The fighting,
we are told, "was of a perfectly indis-
criminate character. When hostilities
were at last suspended by nightfall the
state of the battlefield demonstrated the
proves of the combatants. Six dead,
fifteen mortally wounded and large
of less damaged Mexicans were
included in the list of casualties. The
result was not considered satisfactory,
however, from an electioneering point
Of view, and the leaders consequently
agreed to renew the struggle on the fol-
lowing morning. We are Tot aware
how often municipal contests take place
at Buztamente, but if they are of fee.
quent occurrence the population mast
be in fair way to reach its vanishing
point. Brooklyn Eagle.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-12-31

"A medical paper states that the ex-
pense of examining swine's flesh for
richin@ in Berlin amounts to over
$59, 900 per annum. In the whole of
Prussia 4. ZOO. 600 swine were examined.
1000 being found to be triehinous.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-12-31

~ ANY person who takes the paper resu
krly from the poStofice. whether directed IL
his name or whether he is a subscriber or not
% responsible for the pay
The courts have decided that refusing TO
take newspapers from the post-ofhce or re-
moving and leaving them uncalled for, r.
s<ima facie e7idence OF TSTeETIoxAL FRAzs
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-12-31
MONEY! MQNEY!lI

1 have recently perfected arrangements
with several Loan companies and private
capitalists in the East for loaning money
upon first-class real estates in central Kansas.
] can make these loans upon short notice
where there are no complications in the
title. / do not wait for an examination, but
pass upon the sufficiency of the security
myself. HILAND SOUTHWORTH.