The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-03-14
The GOsgiDer.

I've rounded each depth in the water of pleas
| ure,
And gone every round in their eddyinl
whirl;
And,Pll tell you the truth there's nothing caI
measure
The fun Of a winters night skate with girl
That is rosy, laughing girl;
A spunky, saucy, rogulsh girl;
A frank, good natured, jolly, joking,
Mischief.loving, poser-poking,
Teasing, winning, careless, merry,
Doting, dashing, sprightly, cherry,
Lively, mirthful, risky, witty,
Tasty, trusty, pouty, pretty,
- Smiling, jaunty spicy girl,
Ruby lips and teeth like pearl.
Now onward we dash o cr the rink floor lying
QAnd banshed forever are sorrow and pain
A fall, but no matter; there's nothing hk'
trying
SO take her up gently, and onward again
And she laughs, as swift we gfde,
While / whisper at her side
You're the gayest, brightest neatest girl
Yes, the very dearest, sweetest girl;
Oh! the truest, trimmest, prettiest,
Frankest, fairest, proudest, wittiest
The very best and rarest girl;
The finest girl that can see,
The girl of all the world form
Then give me the rink, with jolly good skate
With my own darling girl and III whistle al
fate.
The above is from the pen OF Jim Kelly
to his skatorial accomplice Charles Zeitler
***
If there be man among you that think
a woman has an easy time of II, let him
put on pair of shoes three sizes too small,
harness himself into pair of corsets, put
on a pound of false hair, attach himself to
a pull back overskirt and be woman just
for tonight There isn't man in the
country could endure the agony six hours,
50 there amt
There seems to be no aspiring genius In
this locality of sufficient ability to write
spring poetry for this paper, and the un-
dersigned is thereby compelled to tackle
the subject in prose. One of the ancient
bards, it was, no doubt who intimated that
IN spring the young maiden's thoughts
lightly turns to love; but the modern YER
sion of the channel in which her thoughts
ire directed are not so romantic. They
lon't tnrn to love so early, at least not in
this latitude. The thoughts of the young
maiden, as spring approaches, tlanked by
tLose of her sex who have passed the
boundary line of youth, seem to be
turned to the most effective method of pull
ling the house down over mans head.
All heads of households have then fear
and trembling. 1t Is spring that brings
With it the inauguration of the house
deaning season, when man has to
I've on cold victuals, sleep in the cellar and
wash his own shirts. This sight of woman
when she is at it herself, with towel wound
around her head, dust pan in one hand
Ind tack hammer in the other, makes her
BIRD and master shiver and his blood turns
cold. He surrenders, capitulates, and alb
licates his temporal sway in the family
circle, and no more respect or attention is
paid to him then if he were cipher af-
liked to decimal number of three periods.
lie regards himself as small potato in the
domestic hill, and that is just about what he
5. This all comes of spring and If any of
he readers of this paper should happen
o send in gushing poetical effusions of
his season which is the prelude to such
5old blooded misery, they had better make
. note of these facts and incorporate few
,F the ideas herein set forth If they desire
heir poetry tc become popular with the
other side. But spring will soon be upon
Us. Already the gentle south wind mean
lers across the Illinois from the snow COW
,red bluffs of South Ottawa and soon you
will hear the robins nest again. Sunday
chool lemonade is being already bottled
or the strawberry festival which will soon
ret in It's labor of love. The flowers, birds,
,ees, and mosquitoes will soon register
heir appearance, heralded by the tom-cat's
nelodious chairavari from the top Of the
wood shed, and the bull-frog's basso pro-
undo us he gurgles a rondeau to his mate
n the pound. And later on, butter. loud
nough to make its presence felt and de-
eggs and many other things will
rive. These are some of the harbingers
f spring and the housekeeping cyclone;
IL of which is respectfully submitted.
When man determines to shuttle off
he coil OF single blessedness such slight
obstruction as a snowdrift is easily sur
counted to secure for himself the hand
nd heart of the girl he loves. When young
olks want to get married they will wade
n snow up to their necks; that is when
hey have it bad and can't wait till spring.
| Moline paper furnishes the following
ccount of marriage in snow,drift:
"a marriage in snow-drift is the newest
enture in the wedding line. Mr.. Z. III.
Robins of Iowa City took out matrimoni-
permit in Rock Island county and went
0 the temporary abode of his Miss Shan
on, which hoppened to be just over the
inc in Mercer COUNTY Nothing daunted,