The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-28
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Awful Fate of Conspirators Who Sought
Brother Gardner's Downfall.


Detroit Free Press.
The excitement which has prevailed among
certain of the older members Of the club came
to climax Saturday evening. What occasioned
the excitement was kept profound secret
among dozen, but it may be stated here that
the rumpus was kicked up by Prof. Sunfower
Smythe a local member with harelip and toes
turning in
For some weeks past the Professor has
hankered for official position, and failing to
secure recognition of his merits he organized
conspiracy to dethrone Brother Gardner. By
circulating many false statements, and by forg
ing the names of several individuals to false
documents, he enlisted the sympathies of Elder
Anthony Swift, Deacon Cohort Davis and
Judge Cutoff Kemperberry. He approached
Huckleberry Tompkins with the plan, and even
went so far as to offer him anew 50cent door
mat to join the conspiracy, but Brother Temp
kins was true blue, and gave the whole affair
away
When the meeting was called to order the
three conspirators were in their seats, entirely
unsuspicious of the sandclub which hang
ing over their heads, while the President, Sir
Isaac Walpole, Waydown Bebee and others in
the ring carried very serious countenances. The
plot of the conspirators was not yet fully ripe.
Prof Smythe was just settling himself down to
sound Elder Toots in the matter when Brother
Gardner rose up and said:
Envy am de parent of half de wickedness in
dis world. One of de fust principles of human
natur' am to begrudge some odder pusson's good
luck, but de mint common sense am called in
fur consultation dis envy disappears, except in
isolated cases.
''We envy the rich, while it am praps our own
fault entirely dat we am not classed among 'em.
1--WE envy, talent, an yet we am foced to ac-
knowledge to ourselves dat we frew awayour OPP
portunities.
Find me man who am down on his fellow
man on gineral principles an I'll show We chap
who orter to be in State Prison by de same rule.
DE Lawd put US heah fur each to make his
IN oil c11 ID
of room fur all If one, by his applcashun, per
severance, integrity an determination towers
above de one who waits fur luck an feeds his
soul on envy, any conspiracy to pull him
down should be sot down by all good men.
Brudders Smythe: Swift an Davis / should like
to see de three of you at de foot of de grand
staircase. Oar am leetle matter dat wish to
discuss in private"
The trio of conspirators were evidently greatly
surprised at the request but suspected nothing,
and followed the President down stairs. AS no
one else was permitted to follow, it may never
be known what happened on the landing. What
the meeting heard may, however, throw some
general light upon the subject:
/. Wells of terror
2. Sounds of heels striking the walls.
g. Sounds OF cloth being ripped and torn, and
bootheels striking the fence on the other side of
the alley.
4. Bump-kerchunk-th ud-deep silence.
B. The echoes of the toe of No. Ii boot
striking against the at-taiss.
Soon after these aforementioned sounds had died
away Brother Gardner entered the room with a
sweet smile on his face, and walked straight to
his seat without word. There was blood on
his left ear and the polish was off his right
boot, and one end of his collar was unbubtoned;
but this might have happened to any man who
had fallen down stairs.
Mr. President, shall cross de three names
off de bookl" asked the secretary.
DE Char reckons you may" was the answer,
IAN we will now take up de regular bill o fare"