The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-09-03

scat, she would begin to brood on terri
BILE consequences sure to happen lit
tie farther along, and it wouldn't be .
minute until she would be about ready
to break down with presentiment that
the cork had already come out of the
Jug. So would have to climb down
again. and prove by personal observa-
ton that she was wrong, as is generally
the case in the clash of intellect between
man and wife. BUTT was not until we
finally drove into camp, and she had
satisfied herself by overhauling the
cooling apparatus in person that my
numerously repeated statements were
correct as usual. that anything like
tranquility of mind or placidity of de-
meanor was possible to the woman
who had such an important RESPONSE
bility resting on her delicate shoulders.
Most of the party were equipped with
poles and lines, and expected to dip a
hook for the fun of the thing, but two
men had come to fish in the literal
meaning of the term, and after spend
ing an hour in securing the country in
search of bait, they secured limited
supply, and, finding place where the
sun could pour down on them without
hindrance, they spit on their hooks
and commenced business in scientific
earnest.
took position on my cot in the
thickest shade 1 could find, and pre-
pared to enjoy mys elf without unneces-
sary fatigue. In fifteen minutes the
camp was thrown into most intense ex-
element. The red headed man had q
bite! Everybody held his breath and
stood on tiptoe to wait the result. 1t
weighed three pounds, according to
rumor that ditfused itself through the
community next day, but if you insist
on scriptural accuracy in such matters.
divide by three and let it go at
that. OF course the lucky man
was not troubled with solitude for some
time afterward. Everybody else
brought his pole and got as close to
him as possible. His society was in
demand from that moment, but he lost
sQlemn-faced mans cork began to bob
The crowd then went over to him in
body. and his hopes were blasted. The
man with the flaming ringlets pulled
out another bass, and the crowd SIAM
peded back to him. Ehe sad-faced
man readjnsted his bait, spit on his
hook, tossed it back into the water,
and sas motionless for two hours
Just as was beginning to feel my
self borne by angel hands to the land
Of dreams, a new diversion aroused me.
1t was female shrek of Elost robust
amplitude and unmis.akable earnest
ness, followed by rush of air near me,
and resouHding splash In the water
that threw closd of spray several
feet above the rivers bank. A female
shrek is something to which .gener-
ally pay more or less atten sion, depend
ing somewhat as to whom the shsiekist
may happen to be. Whsn ID hap
pens to be the companion of
my woes. as it generally u.
never excite myself with precisitate
rashness. take things cool and look
around for something on which to base
conjecture before sweatipg myself
without urgent cause. Whmn q man
has had his blood brought tot a, stmd-
still more times than a siX-yeaTSold can
count, by wall from the wife of his
bosom over nothing more terrible than
the unexpected appearance of a spider,
or at most mouse, he viii learn to
keep his coat on and wait for Develop
ments OF more dreadful nature.
When the screamer is young and fair,
and has tatfy-colorsd hair hanged IN
both hemispheres, it alters ehe case
and / go to the rescHe at oncet without
caring a noodle for particulars.
When the aforesaid shrek struck me
my first impression was that the part
ner of my triumphs had made the awful
discovery that the cream Jug was cork
less in spite of all my efforts In its be-
half, but moment later / SAW that, i
was mistaken. The gusher from the
city had sat down ON a log and was try
ing TO compose a l.Sem to nature when
she espied small snake. and at oacc
became so demoralMed VITA fear taat
she instantly become as crazy as her
own poetry, and jumped imso the river
for want of knowing what else to do.
Being the only man in the party at lsis-
ure at that moment, of course had to
Jump in and pull her out. The COM
plexion Of the poetess and my own raj
ment were a good deal the worse for the
ducking, but it took all the nonsense
out of her for the remainder of the day,
and I had reason to feel grateful to the
serpent who had slaughtered the muse,
for the misguised woman had somehow
become impressed with the delusion
that the greatest pleasure could know
was in listening to the reading of her
own sad, sweet melodies.
BY this time the solemn-faced man
came into camp, looked at dinner
basket and sighed. Whether this sig
nal had been previously agreed upon or
not, don't know, but at all events the
women took the hint and began to
spread out the dinner, having some
time before commenced the preparation
of coffee on small coal-oil stove in a
very large boiler. The stove had seemed
discouraged from the start at
the size of the job, and took its
own time to bring the water to the boil
ing point. Everybody stood around
watching the coffee and wondering why
it didn't boil. l suggested that matters
might be hurried a little by hanging
the boiler on the limb of a tree and get
ting the red-haired man to stand under
, ~ Int mo didn't sean IN take kindly To