Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-02-22
TIE THREE CHAMPIONS.
Perkins, Nasty and Twain Swap
Romarees.

Perkins, Nasty and Twain Swap
Romarees.
Mark Twain and Petroleum Y. Nasty,
says Dom Plat, dined with Eli Perkins
Mt the latrer's residence in New York.
The conversation at that dinner l shall
never forget. The stories told and the
"reminiscences brought out at that dinner
would fill a small book.
After the last course, and after the
ladies had Withdrawn, the conversation
turned upon horses. FINALLY Mr.. Twain
laid down his cigar and asked Perkins
and Nasty If they had ever heard OF a
fast horse he MARK used to own in
Nevada.
Il think not" said Nasty.
'Well, gentlemen" continued Ar.
Twain, as he blew a smoke ring and
watched it, ''that was fast horse. He
was very fast horse. But he was so
tough-bltted that / couldn't guide him
with BIT at all"
How did you guide him?' asked Eli.
"Well, gentlemen, had to guide him
with electricity. | mad to have wire lines
and had to keep battery in the wagon all
the time in order to stop him"
''Whv didn't you stop him by hollering
whO-a?' asked Eli.
''Stop him by bollering who-aW ex-
claimed Mr.. Twain. "Why | could not
holer loud enough TO make that horse
hear me. He travelled so fast that no
sound ever reached him from behind. He
went faster than the sound, sir. HOller
whoa, and he'd be in the next town be-
fore the sound OF your voice could reach
the dashboard. Travel tast? l should
say he could. Why l once started from
Virginia City for Meadow Creek right
in front of one Of the most dreadful
raln-stOrms we ever had on the Pacific
coast. Wind and rain: Why the wind
blew so miles an hour and the rain fell in
sheets. / drove right before that storm
for three hours-iust on the edge Of that
hurI tcane aud RAIN for 40 miles,"
Didn't you get drenchedp
''Drenched? No, sir. Why, tell you,
| drove right in front of that rainstorm.
could lean forward and let the sun shine
on me, or lean backward and feel rain
and catch hailstOnes. When the hurri-
cane Stacked up the horse Stacked uD,
too, and when it blew faster just said
'g-lkP to the horse and touched the bat
terry, and away we went. Now l don't
want 10 lie about my horse, Mr. Perkins,
end | DON'T ask you to believe what / say,
but tell you truthfully that when / got
to Meadow creek my linen buster was
dry as powder. Not a drop Of rain on the
wagon seat either, while the wagon box
was level full Of hailstones and water, or
I'm a -. -.V
Look here gentlemen" interrupted Mr..
Nasty, speaking OF the truth, did you
ever hear about my striking that man in
Toled0?"
Mark said he had never heard about it.
IVY ell, sir, it was this way There was
a man tnere-One OF those worldly, skepti-
cal fellows, who questioned my veraclty
one day. He said he had doubts about
the truthtulness OF one Of my crossroads
incidents. He didu't say it publicly, but
privately. Pm sorry tor the sake of his
wife and family now that he said it at all
and sorry for the man, too, because he
wasn't prepared 10 60. Ii he'd been q
Christian it would have been different. l
say didn't want to strike the man, be-
cause it's a bad habit to get intO-this
making human chaos out OF a fellow
man. But ne questioned nv veracity and
the earthquake came. ] struck him once
just once. / remember he was putting
down carpet at the time and had his
mouth full of carpet tacks. But man
can't stop to discount carpet tacks in
mans mouth, when he questions your
yeracity, can you2 / never do. / simply
struck the blow"
did it hurt tie man much z" asked
Eli.
Il don't think it did. 1t was too sud
den. The bystanders said IL | was going
to strike e second blow they wanted TO
move out of the State. Now, | don't want
you to believe me. and don't expect YOU
Will, but TO tell you the honest truth, Mr..
Perkins. | squashed that man right down
into dnor-mat, and his own wife. who
was lacking down one edge of the carpet
at the time, came ri-ht along and took
HIM for gutta percha rug, and actually
tackled him down in front of tile door.
Poor woman, she never knew she was
lacking down her own husbands What
became of the tacks in his mouth? YOU
ask. Well, the next day the boys pulled
them out OF the bottoms of his oyershoes,
and"
'Gentlemen!" interrupted Eli, sit does
me good to hear such truths. ! believe
every word you say, and | feel that !
ought to exchange truths with you. Now, |
did you ever hear how / went to prayer
meeting at New London, Conn, in rain
stormT'
they said they had not.
"Well, gentlemen" said Eli, Lore day
/ started for the New London prayer
meeting on horseback. When | got about |
half way there. there came up a fearful |
storm. The wind blew hurricane, the !
rain Tell in torrents, the lightning cleaned /
through the SKY. and I went and cTOuched |
down behind a large barn. But pretty |
soon the lightning struck the barn, /
knocked it into thousand spl3nters and |
sent my horse whirling over into neigh |
boring corn PATCH" /
Did it kill you, Mr.. Perkins?" asked |
Mr.. Twain, the tears rolling down his |
cheeks.
"No. it didn't kill me-" | said, ''but
was a good deal dis couraged."
"Well, what did you do, Mr. Perkins" I
kn4
ell the honest Connecticut truth, went
right out into the pasture, took off my
,oat, bumped up my bare back, and took
eleven clips of lightning right on my bare |
backbone, drew the electricity all out OF |
the sky, and then got on to my horse and |
rode into New London in time to lead at |
The evening prayer meeting"