Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1885-09-26
WIT AND HItMoR.

H-tEHlrLs aTaNHfM
- 43
Ayouns person Of T6,nahawk BluR
Carried pistols to make him look tough
H Mss sep shsI s;esa' i do. Do: yoa oAev'"
I'm . weeular wetch ofa lNoush."
The Northwest
20. where does beauty linscrP" de-
mands q Quaker. City poetess. AS .
usual thing she fingers in the parlor
until her. mother has cleaned up the
kitchen.-Bost0n lOst.
A pea-shelling machine has been iu-
vented which can do as much work Us
several hundred women in the same
length of time But then it never stops
to talk.-NeW York Tribune.
Hes . man Of large calibre," 70.
marked Jones to Brown, speaking Of
an acquaintance. ':IndeedP' was the
reply; show do you make that outp''
"He's . great bore" 'tOr" murmured
Brown, and tainted away.-Merchant
zrGveler.
II declare, MI. Blank, said . guest
to the landlord Of q Bar Harbor hotel.
''y0ur table 10 even worse than it was
last year." And the indignant Boni.
face answered without reflection:
THAT is impossible, sir. "-Boskon Com
mercial bulletin.
a New Orleans religious weekly says:
.'The white race is, we believe, already
beginning to decay" This il sad news,
but it win not cause as much conster-
nation In some quarters IS would tho
announcement tnat the horse race had
begun to decay.-Norvtstoson Herald.
A man called on the Chief Of Police
of Allegheny = fewSdaSs. ago and said
he had been robbed. Of, $5O,O 600, 600.
The man is supposed to. have been q
curve pitcher for q professional base
ball club, and had Just been paid half
of his seasons salary.-Noryistovn Her
add
A poetess MARBLES: II love to sing
whom l am ~glad-song is the echo Of
my gladness; I love to sing when ]. am
sad. for song makes sweet my very
sadness" From which We infer that
she loves to sing. Her neighbors have
not yet been heard from.-Norvistown
Herald.
Verasopht-You are. looking charm
ing tonight, Estelle. Estelle-Charm-
ing is too cold q word. Verasopht-
Then I'll call you demons" Estelle
Lemons, sir. DO you mean to insult
mep Verasopht-My darling, you do
not read the papers, or you would learn
that lemons are very, very dear.-PHik-.
Gdelphja Call.
A Swanton 4year-old, who has .
drum and 10 not slow to beat it, heard.
. hand organ the other day, and was
partjtdlarly struck with the fact that
= organ-grinder took up a collection.
After the ''musiclan'' had departed the
little fellow remarked: Il don't drum
any more only for money."-A. Albans
(N.) Messenger:
An absent-minded Lawrence woman
went down the street the other day
wearing three bustles which she had
ordered sent up to her house to try
on. The accumulation of hair-cloth
and wire gave peculiar chang" to the
back breadths of her dress and attract
ed considerable attention. -Lawrence
(Nass.) american.
An exchange says that some 20 to
church to weep while others 20 to sleep.
Some go their wives to please; their
conscience others 60 to ease. Some 20
to hear the preacher; others like the
solo screecher. Boys 70 to reconnoitre;
girls go because they oughter. Many
60 for sage reflections; precious few to
help collections.-FaU Rtver Advanoe.
A bashful young man who was afraid
to propose to his sweetheart induced
her to fire at him with a pistol. which
he assured her vas only loaded with
powder, and after she had done so fell
down and pretended to be dead. She
threw herself wildly upon the BODY.
calling him her darling and her be-
loved, %whereupon he got up and mar
ried her. -Ame,tcts (uG) Republioan.
'Look herel wish you would ex-
plain how this got into one of your ci-
gars." said a man, rushing into . Fifth
avenue tobacco store and holding up q
little strip of calico. The manufacturer
eyed it with disgust and exclaimod:
"lt's those new girls again. They don't
seem to know the difference between a
Mother Hubbard and a Connecticut
Wrapper!'-Pttsburg Chronicle TeLe-
graph.
Life-insurance agent-"Come, lot mo
make you out a policy"
MI: DusenburY-.Not today, SIR"
"Why notP 1ne premium on $2O,-
600 wouldn't be much. 1t would be a
nice sum to leave your wife,"
II said not to day sir. Now I say,
never sir! A handsome young widow
with $2O,O0O is the most dangerous
legacy a man could leave behind him."
-Rhiladelphia Cali.
An exchange relates an instance of
2 man with q hardened liver dying.
We believe this is usually IL fatal COM
plant. A man may have q hard head,
or conscience, or heart and live for
years, but very few men survive q hard
ened liver more than a year or so at
the outside.-Lance.
Only eight American poets have lived
beyond the age of 60. This shows the
power of the press.-.Nerchant Traveller.
A couple of Vienna doctors recently
gave q younger colleague q mark Of
delicate attention. They sent him a
letter bearing. both their signatures.
stating that desiring to celebrate his
anniversary by presenting him with
something he never possessed, they re-
quested him to accept as a birthday
present the bearer Of their missive, q
patient, to treat him we'll, and keep out
OF harms way.-Nene Freie Presse.
There isn't q fly in our sanctum. We
ran them all out We hung up a $5
bill by . string, where the wind would
wave it and the flies that had laid
around this sanotum for years and new
or seen one, took it for some kind of a
green monster that would catch them,
and lit out. We have not patented our
device for there isn't another sanctum
in the country that can nroduca n hill