Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-16
PROFESSOR OF SIGNS.
CONSTITUTING THE SAME FACTS IN
OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.
A Learned Frenchman's Experiment-A
Sign Language the Only One To Be
come Universal-Dinerent Minds
Draw Different Conclusions.
N1oa9o Journal

Some time ego learned Frenchman be-
,ame very enthusiastic on the subject Of q
universal language for the human race.
After much thought and theorizing on the
| subject he came to the conclusion that the
only language that could be universal at
the present day must be a language Of signs.
Being deeply impressed with the import
ance Of this language to humanity, he de-
termined to travel from country to country
and teach it in all their colleges and uni
versities As it happened, the first country
he reached in his travels was Ireland, and
the first institution he went to was the Uni
versity Of Dublin.
He called upon the president of the uni
versity, and after some conversation with
him, asked him if he had a professor Of
signs in his university. Now there was no
professor of signs in the university, but the
president. not wishing to be behind the
learned Frenchman, told him that they had
one The Frenchman tsked to be intro
duced to him. The president was taken
back at this, but told him that he could not
see the professor that day, but if he would
call the next day at the same hour he would
introduce him.
After the Frenchman had gone, the presi-
dent called his professors together and told
them the fix he was in, and told them that
one of them must play the part Of professor
of signs next day. They all demurred and
objected to this, being afraid that they
might be caught by the Frenchman As
none of them was willing to play the part,
they at least decided to train Mike, the
choreman, for it. Mike had lost an eye, and
was very sensitive about it, thinking that
people were constantly noticing it and max
ing asusions tn it
Mike WIS consulted, and consented to play
the part, providing that the Frenchnan
should mot rsfer to his defect. The next day
the president and professors dressed Nike up
in good suit Of clothes, took him to the
re, ,itation-rocm, seated him alone on the
PLATFORM and then retired, for the French
MIN was to see him alone. Before they left
him they told him what to do, and that he
must not speak.
He replied, "Sure I'll not, if he sez nothin'
about me oye."
At the appointed time the Frenchman
called, and was ushersi into the recitation
room of the professor of signs" The presi-
dent and professors waited in an adjoining
room anxiously for the result In short
time the Frenchman came back to them ap-
parently much pleased.
"How did you like our professor of signsr
asked the president
"Very much, indeed. congratulate you
on your able professor. l am more than
ever convinced that the language Of signs is
to be the universal language When l went
into tho room held up one finger, meaning
there is one God. He understood me at
once, and held up two fingers, meaning
Father AMI Son. t.,en held up three fin
gers, meaning there are three persons in the
Trinity. He replied by doubling up his
hand, meaning, And these three are one.
then withdrew 1t is wonderful am de-
lighted"
After the Frenchman had gone, the presi-
dent and professors sent in haste for Mike,
for. though they were pleased at having
gotten out Of the dilemma, they were very
anxious to hear Mikes account of the inter-
view. Mike came in, very angry. Il touli
yez he would say something about ME oye.
The first thing he did was till houil up wan
finger, m'anin' l had but wan oye."
"Wnat did you do then, Mikes" asked the
president.
"Sure 1 held up me two fingers, till let
him know had two fists; an phat does the
durty blackguard do but hould up three
fingers, m'anin' we had but three oyes be-
twane US Thin l doubled up ME list, and
would a guv the frog'atin' varmnt welt
over his oye, but he COMMUNIST a-smilin' an
a-bowin' an a-scrapin' an wint out iv the
room"