The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-06-04
SENSIBLE ADVICE.
A Few Words to Girls.

Mr.. John Siegel in The chronological Jour.
nal for Nay.
A lady of intelligence and observation
has remarked, II wish I could impress
upon tho minds of the girls that the
chief end Of woman is to marry young"
If girls only could be brought to be.
iieve that their chances for happy mar.
riage were better after twenty I've than
before, there would be much less misery
in the world than there now is. To be
sure, they might not have go many op.
portunities to marry after that age as be.
fore, but as they do not need to marry
but one at time, it Is necessary that
one should be satisfactory. AS o girl
grows older, If she thinks at all, she Ger.
tainly becomes morn capable of judging
what would make her happy than when
younger.
How many girls Of twenty would think
of accepting the man they would gladly
have married at sixteen2 At thirty q
woman who is somewhat independent,
and not over anxious to marry, Is much
harder to please and more careful in hor
choice than one of twenty. There is
good reason for this. Her mind has i'm.
proved with her years, and she now
looks beyond mere appearance In judg-
ing Of men. She Is aptto inquire if this
man, who Is so very polite In company,
is really kiud.hearted? Do his polite
actions spring from happy, genial
nature or is his attractive demeanor
put on for the OCCASION, and laid off at
home as he lays Of his coatH
A very young girl takes It for granted
that men are always as she sees them In
uoo;o}y ,,o1;to fr;ondl,, o,d n, yh,s-
i.ood behavior: If she marries early in
lie the one who happens to please her
fancy, she learns to her sorrow that in
and man at homo are widely different
produce great change In opinions and
at twenty-five what we admired at six.
teen. We advance from the taffy candy
and peanut age to the era Of gum.drops
years lose our yearnings for those dain.
ties. At sixteen, the Ledger and Mrs.
Southworth are the delight of girls
heart, and she fairly revels in the love
affairs of the most beautiful of women
with the most heroic of men, while their
hairbreadth escapes thrill her heart, and
their sorrows bring tears to her eyes. AS
che grows older, If she develops at all,
that style of reading gradually loses its
charm, and she finds satisfaction In some.
thing moro solid, till at length her taste
has changed entirely, and useful aud IN.
structive works from tho staple Of ber
reading. Of course she continues to read
novels, but she prefers those of differ.
ent and grander class than che perused
|:.t such exquisite delight st sixteen.
Similar changes take place in the NOR
al aud spiritual nature. Why should we
feel the same toward persons la after life,
when We hsve learned to distinguish be.
tween the false and true, tho bad and
good, any more than we should like dime
novels after we have become acquainted
with Dickens, Thackeray and Shaks.
peare? How few comparatively of the
schoolgirl friendships extend into later
lifeP How few OF our companions in
society do we love as we'll after twenty
years have passed. How few even oil
our own brothers and sisters, in whom
we do not see faults we could wish Grad.
icated. Considering this, how is it pos
sible for one to feel surprised when O
couple who marry in the!. teens grow to
love each other less as years roll by
When both grow alike, whether it be
rapidly or slowly, forward or backward,
there Is some hope of their ever seeing
each other with the same eyes; but
when one progresses and the other retro.
grades, difference springs up between
| them, and In time one looks down upon
the other with feeling of superiority
perhaps unconfessed, but still there
while the other. unable to perceive the
| real cause of the trouble, grows at length
| to dislike what was once loved. And
thus 1t happens that those who loved al
sixteen are indifferent al twenty-five, and
sometimes divorced at thirty. Thil
trouble would never occur if very early
| marriages were frowned upon If dispo.
sitions, tastes and circumstances were
consulted instead of mere passing fancy
| and girls were encouraged to wait till
their minds were matured and they cav
life with clear vision. If later mar.
| riages were more universal, it nigh,
prevent many from marrying at all; but
1t would be to those whom II were bes
should never marry-for instance, the
slack and thriftless, the coarse, the ter
magant or the scold. Those who have
the elements of unhappiness within them
and who care not to eradicate them
would then be discovered, for such things
like weeds, If left to grow, discover
themselves In time.
| One great cause of early marriages Il
the pernicious habit of calling cir
who remains unmarried until twenty-five
an "old maid" This Ia done by man,
we'll meaning but thoughtless persons
| who would be sorry to think that any ac
or expression Of theirs had ever caused
one all hour Of misery yet this very
| dread of being called an "old maid" ha.
driven more women into marrying ,and
lifelong misery than any other thing ex
cepting perhaps poverty. A girl. young
sensitive, unused to the rough ways O.
the world, shrinks from having any
stigma cast upsn her. When ahe frs
heard herself called an cold maid" It d
q revelation, and she falls under it SIS II
| 1t were blow. She feels as if It were
| blow. She feels as if It were an i'm.
putation upon her character in some
way and though she may try to laugh
1t off, the wound Is there, and Testers
aud corrodes till the life shat was once
happy as a birds has now skeleton
which she thinks can only be removed
by marriage It is mistake to thinb
that single life4 4is any less noble thar
mafriage, especially IL the spirit; Of dis
cord 10 permitted to 'tnfiict its horror,
upon whole household: = 4 . \
Let mothers treasure their daughter.
more; seek to learn their innost feeling,
In O kind and sympathetic way: VIII
their love and Confidence bv sf1oyvfk,f