davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09
Lord Hou.hton's pccuiiari,ics.

AS poet 1T is easy to undcrratc Lord
Houghton, and it is equally easy TO
oyerrate him. With him it was all of
lite to live, if not all of death to die
TO such the richest fountains OF pocli-
cal inspiration arc never opcucd. 1t
may bo doubted whether any poet of
his time, however, moro adequately ex-
pressed what and al of what he felt
and wished to say. Persons OF doubt
ful positions and things OF n moro or
less disorderly character had :, strange
fascination for his muse as they had for
himself. He felt rs lively Il curiosity
to know phenomcnally bad man us I.
phenomenally good ono. partly, per-
haps, because according to convention
al standards the latter are tho rarcr,
Nothing human or inhuman lay beyond
tho range of his curiosity--r PECULIAR
ity which ! once heard illustrated by
tho following story. Whether truo or
not, there is nothing improbable about
it. A criminal was to DO hung at nino
o'clock, tho event to be announced to
tho public by the firing Of gun. Soma
ono ut HOughton's breakfast table re-
marked that 1t was after nine and tho
gun had not boon fired; tho execution,
therefore, must have been postponed.
"Oh no." promptly replied his sister;
''tho man has surely been hung or
brother would have had him here at
breakfast" Whcthor from spirit of
generous tolerauon, or charity, or love
of fair play, or sympathy for the weak
or party, or n curious tastc for tho
paradoxical, or all these combined, his
muse seemed to have been consecratod
to the defense of people and conduct
that wero on tho defensive. Though
not ranking with tho great poets of the
world. Lord Houghton long before his
death had secured for himself an en-
during place among the poets of Eng
land. Hon. John BigciOW, u! Harper's
Magazine for November.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09
Wanted Elizabeth, Anyway.

Her affections contcr upon doll
whose name-the longest her tongue
could frame at tho time 1t was bestow-
eds Elizabeth. For some misde.
raeanor Of unusual gravity this young
lady was sent to bed at an carly hour.
and ia tho WOO attending the inlliction
Of this punishment she forgot 10 take
with her the cherished Elizabeth to
share her couch. Realizing her deso-
lation she summoned hcr mothor by
calls from the chamber:
"Mamma! want Elizabeth. Please
bring Elizabeth up to meW
This mitigation OF tho penalty was
denied; but the demand was repeated,
each refusal being followed by Q yoi
more petulant request, until finally
there came a suggestion OF tho last ro-
sort Of maternal discipline;
Nellie, am afraidI spail have to
come up and punish you.
Quick came the response, punotuat'
|, od with sobs:
"Wel, when you como up, please
bring Eilzabetbtn- ostoD Record.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09
Personal r.IRAGIaAPus.

S. Gilbcrt, Mr.. Sul!ivan's col
aboircr, is TO pass the winter in Egypt
= King ThcCbawi is n handsome young
fell pw Of twcnty-six.
=! Col. j. Annoy Knox, OF Tcray
Su'tingS, has admitted that be is tho
aut hor OF "RcGutiul Stow"
4.Gcorgc w. Cable, the novelist
has hccco:H,e..a SUNDAY .schooi teacher
at his new hot,.& in Northampton
Mass.
-Edwin Booth was iny-;wo ~ ~,
old on November 2O,a nd celebrated
the anniversary int quiet way in Bal
timorc.
DR.. Albert Thompson, a young
Irish physician, has been presented
with the Abel medal for removing
poison in q case of diphthcria by suck
ing it away
In. Alvarez, the famous French
homTopnthist, bnt who believes in big
doses in the way Of bills, sues ior
$4,000 for medical attendance of Il
Princess, but vas awarded ONLY $i7,-
600, though he had refused $@3O, 900 to
compromise the matter.
Sam Jones managed to keep on:
of the way of the cyclone in his North
western tour, but he has met with II
terrible blow in the discovery that :
bogus Sam Jones has been doing en-
tircly successful revival work through
rcvcral towns in Minnesota.
"A co,orcd citizen ofPlincc Edward
county, Virginia, ascribcs Gen. Lees
election to the fact that he carried
oh l., I
When asked what The charms were, he
said. the left hind foot Of graveyard
rabbit, II vial Of atmnpwatcr, anG a
coon bono toothpick.
.-SchTfer, the billiardist, when
playing wears full evening" dress. He
has fine diamond stud in his slir;
Maurice NignauX also wears Il full
dress suit. His diamond stud is woru
in the shirtcollar. SchEirr carries
his cues in a green sack, and Il piece
OF chalk in one OF his vest pockets.
NignauX carries his jointcG Stick in q
leather case.
Jay Gould's father, a staid, honest
old farmer in Delaware county, New
York, had very little faith in his son ;
capacity to get OH, because he was not
fond Of chopping, ploughing, sowing
or rCapimg. When the lad decided I
quit his rural home, the elder Could.
il is said, handed him half dollar,
and told him lie would certainly 90 to
the devil. And lie is still going there.
Judge Kelley says that his present
good health is largely due to Ills mas
terry Of the tobacco Habit. lie burned
the weed five and fifty years and nc
actually has slept with the Guid in his
mouth. Now he ncithCr touches nor
tastes the stuff and the blood fccls
much better in his veins than when
the globulcs bore with them Il burden
of nicotine.
Sir Noel Patton has at present ON
his easel, far advanced toward COM
plction, Il picture for Queen Victoria,
which deserves some notice Oh account
of the purpose for which it is Designed
rs we'll rs for its own sake. The pie
ture is to be the cemtrGpieCc in the
private oratory at Osborne. Its sub
jcct is Christ in the Garden finding the
three Disciples asleep, and its proper
title is "Nigilatc ct Oratc." 1t is to
be placed over the prayer desk, be-
tween two other pictures by the same
artist, rcplicas of larger works, cnti-
tied Respectively, "rhe Good Shcp-
hcrd' and "Thc Man OF Sorrows" :"
The three pictures thus form in effect
q trirtych, though they will not be
atlcctualiy joined.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09

The armisticc between Bulgaria
and Scrvia closes one Of tho most bril-
liant and satisfactory campaigns ever
fought III war-scarrcd Europe. Prince
Alexander has achieved Il splendid
famc. Instead OF scorncd, snubbcd
and deprecated princeliug he is ap.
proved natural leader and sovereign.
He cannot now be rcckoned out in any
settlement which the Powers may make
of the affair. BY pursuing the Ser
vians across the border he has gained
the full advantage of his success in q
war wantonly forced upon him. Tho
Dragging King Milan will pay for his
hardihood with his throne, and the
greedy Scrvians will DC assessed all
the damages 1t 10 as fine an example
of retributive justice as war often
affords.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09

--Ffanf Hatton, Assistant Poslmas-
tersG General, says 1t makes him sick TO
hear the word "reformer," and tells
the reason why, thus: "The men who
called themselves reformers used to
come mp and camp out in the corridors
of the Postoffiee Department whiIe
they demanded offices for their rola.
lives aud even for their wiycs' rela-
tiSes.n
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09
"I am very timid man." writes a

81 am q very ,timid man." writes q
subscriber IN Ohio. 81 am nervous.
constitutonally timid; q very coward.
In fact. am ashamed OF 1t, but L
cant help 1t. Now. what profession
or occupation can adopt in the prac-
tice of,which ! will be most perfectly
safe from harm or dangerp" Go to
France. my son; 90 to France and DO
a duelist Or you might remain In
/, America and DO pugil st. - Brook1yn
Eagle.
There'll be u protty how-de-do
among Now jersey lawyers IL the
1oufts follow nD tho precedent estaD-
llshed by Vice. Chancellor Bird In his
decision that lawyer who induces q
client to give an $4,000 mortgage for
1915 and thcn sells it himself for Se, 2OO
must turn tho profit over TO tho ciient
Instead OF pocketn,s Il himself. Jossey
pettifo9gess will fail toScc the nso Of
being lawyers u they have TO DO 81
honest rs otheg men, ~ .dllefstoSep (ta.)
< leGisfsf.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09
AnvIcn mo- MnrnKRs

MRS. WINsLow's SOOTHING SyRUP should al
why's be used Tor children teothing. lt soothes
tho child, softens tho gums, allays all pain,
cures wind collie. end IS tho best remedy for
aiaTTEo5a. twenty-five cents o bottle
JpiyiaLfyi
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09

MAGNOLIA PASSENGER ROUTE,
&. l.. and S., A. and X :, and p. Il. and
A. Railways.
I'm Eject September ~, 1855.
TIME90Tu NJ NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
SLOW ER THAN G.. Il. G. II. r.
TIME
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09
nr,win" mln 1Jrc.

n.:aass.asas2lsLs. sl.,A....: :,,,,z.Ng,
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1885-12-09
CONNECTIONS.

\. With South Carolina Railroad to
and from Charleston; with Whining
ton, Columbia and Augusta Railroad
from Wilmington and all points north
thereof; with Charlotte, Columbia and
Augusta Railroad from Charlotte and
all points north thereof.
B. With Ashcvillc and Spartanburg
from and for points in Western North
Carolina.
G.. Atlanta and Charlotte Division
Il. ~ ID. Il. II. for Atlanta and points
South and West.
q. II. TALCOTT,
Superintendent.
NJ. SLAUGHTER, Gen. Pass. Agt.
ID. CARDwELL, A. q. Pass. Agt
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22
Christening Eugenis's Baby.
rom Frank Leslie's Weekly.

From Frank Leslie's Weekly.
The secret papers Of the Second EN-.
pire give an account Of the expenditure
on the occasion of the birth and baptism
Of the Prince Imperial. Medals in dia-
monds head the list, at q cost Of 25, 900
francs. Doctors and midwives received
68, 600 francs. The wardrobe cost 1OO,-
900 francs. The several societies OF
dramatic authors and composers men
Of letters, dramatic artists, musicians,
painters and sculptors, industrial inven-
tors and medical men of the Depart.
ment of the Seine received 10, 900 francs
each. Ninety three thousand francs
were given to the benevolent bureaus"
OF the Department of the Seine and OF
the communes in which lay the estates
of the crown. The agents of the in
terror service" of the Empress received
Qualifications equal to four months
wages, amounting to 1900 francs.
Forty-four Thousand francs were al
lotted to giving gratis performances at
the theaters on March 10, 1856. The
parents Of children born on the 18th Of
that month shared among them 5O,-
600 francs. For medals to be given to
authors and composers of verses and
cantate addressed to their maiesties.
and to the pupils at the Lycees, So. 200
francs were allowed. The relatives of
the godchildren of their majesties re-
ceived 10000 francs. The service of
the stables for the baptismal cortege is
set down at 172 900 francs, and 100, 900
francs were distributed in qualifications
to the hired servants of their majesties'
~househould. The total m to the
sum of 1913, 600 francs.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22
sharon's Heart Bowed Down.

SAAS"6 - tl4alnt- aaTsIs E#
Private advices from San Francisco
say that ex-senator Sharon is fast break
ing down under the troubles forced up
on him by Sarah Althea and her law
yers. The old man was always weak
physically, but the modification and
chagrin, the %reproaches of his friends
and the GOODNESS of his children, all
growing out of his relations with the
pestiferous Sarah Althea, are more than
human nature can stoically bear. tt is
said that his daughter Flora, wife of Sir
Thomas Hcsketh Of England, is SO dis
gusted with her father that she has had
no communication with him since the
suit began. Her own social position in
England has been cruelty injured. As
for Sir Thomas himself, he is mad
through and through. Another compile
cation is the marriage Of the son, Fred
Sharon, a few months ago, under cir
cumstances which set every tongue to
wagging. The fair bride is the daugh-
ter Of q very wealthy gentleman, and
the divorced wife Of j. W. Breckenridge,
son of the late vice president. The
marriage was a hastily contriyed affair.
They were married, and the same night
left for Europe. The scandals which
have beset his name, the dreadful cost
Of the Hill litigation, the possibility that
he may yet be mulcted in half his for
tune and the terrible annoyances of the
past year promise to lond the badgered
millionaire under the sodin a very short
time. a.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22
A Brides Suicide at Monte Carlo.

From the London Daily News.
Tho curious tale of a recent suicide at
Monte Carlo merely illustrates u wide
spread belief that women are more reck-
less gamblers than men. At any pub
lie table they may be seen playing high
and, as a rule, restraining the express
sions of the emotions at least as we'll as
the sex generally thought the sterner.
Woman, one started cannot break off,
even to break the luck, while she has
five francs in her pocket. But on the
other hand, women want more starting
than men. Their c%arefulness in small
expenses makes them regard the
loss of o few pounds as o
very serious matter. Thus among
decent people, ladies very seldom
play, though when they begin to lose,
they back their bad luck with extraor.
binary persistence. A clerk of a Ger
man counting house, passing his honey.
moon on that littus avarum, the Riviera,
came to Monte Carlo. He had Ell, 900,
his employers money, in his possession.
Distrusting his own virtue, he did what
is generally safe-he gave the sum to
his bride to keep for him. Then he
left the for q time, and on return
ing found that the unhappy girl had
played away oil the e1, 900. 1t does
not take long to get rid OF that or any
other sum. He also learned that she
had drowned herself in the sea at the
foot of the rocks. A more dreadful erd
to q honeymoon can not be imagined;
nor can any defender of Monte Carlo
deny that; but for the temptations so
publicly offered, the miserable woman
might now be happy wife.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22
Missed a Golden Opportunity.

The president of Western railroad
was lately waited on by . couple of di-
rectors with very solemn co~untenances,
and after the usual sa~lutations had been
exchanged one of them said:
"Mr. President, have you the interests
of this road at heart 2"
"Yes, sir-yes, sir-of course I have"
was the reply.
eff so, why didn't you cut rates last
week between Blank and Blank at ST..
and thereby have road advertised
all over. the country?"
aWhy, sir, last week we were SO
showed under that we didn't moves
train between the points named!"
aOf course-I know all about it, and
it was . golden opportunity that may
never ZONE again. When you are stuck
IN the snow is the very time to cut
rates. We got the advertisement, and
the public receives no benefit. Let
this be q moral lesson to you, sir-a
great moral lesson"
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22
A New Kind of Cruiser.

The new belted cruisers, or, as they
have been called in parliament, the
NEW Merseys," for which certain
%shipbnilders nave just been invited 10
tender, differ from their more recent
predecessors in having 10 feet more
beam, being 800 by Sc feet, and in hay
ing an increase of 1900 tons in the dis
placement, making them up to 5000
tons. The protective deck has been
replaced by an rmo belt 200 feet
long, formed of 10-inch steelfaced
armor of 6-inch of backing. The ends
are protected by an underwater belt
similar to the Mersey's. AS the ends
of the belted cruisers are very fine,
the part of the water-line not actually
protected by armor is proportionately
very small. The engines of these YES
sells are to be 7,500-horse power, to be
obtained by the use of forced draught
in a closed stokehole. There are four
boilers, double-ended. having a total
gate surface of about 500 square feet,
and working at a pressure of 120
pounds. Their total weight is not to
exceed 720 tons.
The armament consists of two
~eighteen-ton guns. arranged-one for
ward, to fire all round the bow to about
so degrees abaft the beam. and one
aft, to fire through a similar sweep
round the stern. In addition to these,
there are twelve four-ton guns and six
machine guns. A torpedo armament
will also be provided both above and
under water. The construction of the
hulls does not materially differ from
that of the smaller and earlier iron
clads of her majesty's navy, such as
the Hydra, Nelson, and Conqueror,
but they are of steel throughout.
These belted cruisers will each be
manned by o crew of from $50 to $50
officers and men. for whom very good
accommodation is found on the second
deck above the water line. All the
usual refincments of a cruiser have to
be provided in their most modern
form. When completed these vessels
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22
A Country Doctor.

He was an excellent specimen of the
country doctors, self-reliant, self
sacrificing, working a great deal
harder for his living than most of
those who call themselves the labor
ing classes-.as if none but those whose
hands were hardened by the use of
farming or mechanical implements had
any work to do. He had that sagacity
without which learning is a mere in
cumbrance, and he had also a fair
share of that learning without which
sagacity is like a traveller with a good
horse, but who can not read the di-
rections on the guidc-boards. He was
not Il man to be taken in by names.
He well knew that often times very
Notwithstanding words mean very
grave disorders; that all degrees of
disorder are frequently confounded
under the same term; that run down.
may stand for a fatigue of mind or
body from which a week or a month
of rest will completely restore the
oyerworked patient, or an advanced
stage of a mortal illness; that .seedy'
may signify the mornings state of
feeling after an evenings over indul-
gence, which calls for q glass of soda
water and a cupof coffee, or a danger
u malady which will pack off the
subject of it at the shortest notice to
the south OF France. He knew too
well that what is spoken lightly of as
a nervous disturbance may imply
that the whole machinery of life is in
a deranged condition, and that evey
individual organ would groan aloud
if it had any other language than the
terrible inarticulate one Of pain by
which to communicate with the con-
seriousness. DR.. Holmes IN The Atlaatic.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22

were spent in gathering her belongings.
He helped her off the train, and grasped
her hand heartily al she stood one in
slant there:
II shall always remember you and
your happy ways OF looking at life, and
your faith will help mes" and then he
swung on to the slowly moving train,
and she walked away in the cleaning,
q tear or two falling q she thought OF
the lonely days to come.-The Current.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22
\ Psalm of iltp.

There be but little in life to live for.
The word is a hollow mockerv full of
troubles and bad piano players.
We 90 forth in the morning full of
hope and come home at night full CT
bad whisky.
We dabble in politics and bet all
our wealth OF the leading man, and
the other fellow getteth elected and
we are lettto mourn.
We run for Office and our friends
manage for us and spend our money,
and behold we cometh out badly
scooped and crushed financially.
We marry for wealth, and our girls
old man assigns.
We deny ourselves many things in
order to lay up some cash in the bank,
and the cashier fleeth unto Canada.
And in an evil hour when we dream
not OF it, the merchant presenteth a
bill for II wife's new bonnet, and the
farm and the stock goeth under mort
gage to pay it.
Woe unto man! OF how little con-
sequence is his joy.
In infancy he is full of collie and
catnip, and in youth he goeth about
Win q morn III MS heel. X
In the evening of life he lieth down
full of rheumatism, aches and ante
bilious pills.
The places that once knew him
know him now only by the prommis-
sorry notes and accounts he has left
unpaid. And this is the end of man.
In youth he dances into the ring
eager to knock somebody out, but the
first thing he knoweth he is ornament
ed with a black eye.
He cometh forth in fine raiment and
a standing collar, and at noon-time he
goeth about with the seat of his pants
patched with an old sock.
He carrieth a torch in the process.
sion, and whoopeth it up for his party,
and behold the man who staid at home
is appointed to office.
Such is the career of man.
Lo! in an hour when he dreameth
not of it, a breechy mule kicketh him
athwart the center, and he dieth.-
Ihos. r. Montfort in 81. Louis Magazine.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22

Jared Ward.a farmer living near West-
field, Mass, va bitten BY rabid hog
several years ago. The wound healed
after sometime althoughth leg ached at
times eve since, it was considered we'll
until recently. Mr.. Ward. fell from an
apple tree and shattered the bone,
which was perfectly rotten. The virus
from the bite had attacked the bone.
when the aesh healed.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22
College Endowment.

"Only five colleges in the country
have adequate endowments," SAYS the
Colegian. "These are Columbia, with
S5,ooO.00O; Johns Hopkins University,
5000, 600; Harvard, ~, 1000, 900; Cor
nell, $2,OO0,00O Princeton, $1,000, 900.
Less than half a dozen more have
.tolerably liberal endowments: Tufts,
$3.50. 900; Brown, 1920, 600; Lafayette,
100000; Cincinnati University, $780,
900. So far as we can ascertain, no
other college has an endowment Of
over $3.50, G0O,m
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22

will be works of modern engineering
second to none As vessels of wal
they can not fail to be formidable.
Their weak point appears. to be their
speed, which is moi to besmore than
eighteen knots.-GlasqoW Herald.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-22

A s~prinkliEg of the ladies' who attended th,
last court ball at Berlin wore ciinolines. Or
the Princess Friedrich Won Hohenzollern rests
the responsibility OF reviving the use of whai
a French journal, referring to the matter,
calls the s'horrible cage.n
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1885-05-28
A Chinese Funeral.

The procession which accompanied
the remains of the Chinese Prince Lau-
Flu to their last resting place was headed
by thirty-six slaves, clad in garments of
green cloth and bearing huge wooden
cage, representing the funeral of the
soul. These were followed by 100 slaves
dressed in red and carrying tablets in
scribed with the titles, honors and vir-
tues of the dead. Next came twenty
sportsmen, leading 240 hounds once be-
longing to Lau-Fu, the camels, mules,
horses, sedan chairs, and the private
carriage, drawn by mule; sixteen SER
wants, dressed in green silk, bore an
armchair covered with tiger skin,
regiment of cavalry and infantry fol-
lowed, then the body servants and cam
els, thirty-two priests with temple
music, and finally the coffin, borne by
eighty servants and covered with a silk
pail. The emperor was represented by
six empty carriages, behind which
walked the grandees. Prince Lau-Fu's
arms, carriages, clothes, tents, ETC.,
were all burned as a winding up of the
festivities. Globe.