Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-07
BRIGHT BITS.

my DEAR" asked Mrs. Wigs of Mrs.
Diggs, "can you tell me why they cali them
tournuresY' "Yes," was the reply, sit is be-
cause you have to tnrnure head around to see
how II hangs" "Ohp'
If anybody wants to see fight between the
Russian bear and the British lion he will have
to tie their tails together and throw them over
clothes line. And even then we are not
sure but they would settle the matter in
diplomatic way.-Chicdgo Ne1os.
A NEW PAPER in the South is called the
Epsden'ic. The editor probably thinks" OBJ
serves the New York journal, "that every
body will take it," But he has apparently
lost sight Of the fact that an epidemic gener-
ally dies out within year.--N0TriStotcn Her.
aid.
ONLY few days ago the world was horri-
fed to hear that the fight between Sullivan
ana Ryan was off, and now comes the more
disheartening news that England and Russia
are likely TO patch up peace. What dis
tressing state of civilization this world is fall
ing into, to be sure !-EDchGnge.
SHE may live without dress-what is fashion
She may live without beaux what is counting
but signing?
She may live without smiles-what is laughter
but grinnlng2
But where is the woman can live without
"chinningY" st. Paul Herald.
81 TELL YOU, SARAH" observed John Grab
to his better half few evenings ago, s'them
college text books is awful expensive"
"WhyP remarked that lady. "Wen, Just
got-a-letter from John when l was down to
the store, and he saws as he wants a 81 50 for a
geometry and IS for 'cyclometer. | don't
think cyclOmeter ought to cost more than a
geometry, do you, Sarah?" 81 don't know
John. but reckon IL must be q little harder
STANDARDIZATION Post.
THE minister was struggling to put on a
new four ply collar and the peTspiration was
starting from every pore.
Bless the collar" he calculated. 80, yes,
bless it. Bless the blessed collarn'
My dear" said his wife. what is your
text for thus mornings sermon?"
IF -fourteenth verse f-frty-fifth Psalm" he
m-mouth were s-smoother than b-butter, but
w-War was in his b. heart. '"--Relo York
Times.
A FARMER in Victoria county, Texas, had
all his corn and cotton cut down by the late
frosts. The morning after the frost he went
out.and took lock at his field. Then he uged
profane language for about half an hour, I'M
I'll clergyman happened to ride by and hear
the roaring of the torrent of profanity. The
clergyman demonstrated with the nauseated
granger, and asked him il he did not know
where he would land if he Kept that up.
That's Just why l swear" responded the
farmer. II want to have dead sure thing
OF getting to place where there are no late
frosts."
SOPHRONIA asks where she will be most
likely to find the pink arbutus just now:
kar in the depths of the mighty woods,
Where the swapping turtles run.
a nd the briDdle COW in the branches broods
From the dawn to the set of sun;
Where che caribou and the panther 6ght
And the hungry coyotes bark
And the blue fox howls the livelong night
Near tine den of the BoOjum shark:
Where the framptious Mugwump makes his
lair
And the amorous guyascuts
His love song sings to the grizzly bear,
Hou'ltfnd the pink arbutus.
p. ST you don't find 1t there, let us know,
Boston Courier.