The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-01-01
THE SLIPPERY MAN.

y
luxury. didn't roll in affluence in my
earlier days. Within the memory of
men standing, and some of the men
now lying, within the sound of my
voice my check for $4,000 would have
lain dormant in the waste-basket in
any bank in the land. | did not always
dress like a head waiter, or wear dia-
monds like clog-dancer. All, no. 1
was poor once myself.
And one time, when [ was very poor
and comparatively honest, prominent
merchant whose books were adorned
by my name was very anxious to send
me his autograph at the complimentary
end of a receipted bill. | was at that
time an enthusiast on the subject of
business mems autographs, and had
amassed quite a varied collection, in
GLIDING those of well-known characters
and operators in the butehering,
grocerying, tailoring and shoe-making
walks of life. | was quite anxious to
add to my collection the autograph of
the merchant above referred to, but he
held it at what [ then considered a very
high figure, $65.S0. I did not feel
justified in paying such an amount for
a single autograph. Moreover, l learned
through confidential sources, that the
particular autograph he was anxious to
sell me was not in high demand among
autograph hunters, and | hoped it
would come down little.
But it didn't. | received one day
violent and abusive letter from a mer-
chant, in which he accused me of in
tending to defraud and swindle him;
said that | had entered my name upon
his valuable books for that purpose,
and threatened all sorts of dire things
il L didn't come to taw and buy
that autograph of him. Then he
once more called me a swindler, and
signed himself Yours respectfully"
hustled around. my boy, for the
next week or two, to get that autograph.
wrote until my fingers were numb
and | was in ink to the eyes. I got the
moneY-Heaven knows how [ got so
much money in two weeks in those
days. l paid it over to that prominent
merchant, | got his autograph on a
receipted bill, he thanked me gracious
", and
The next day the hoary-headed old
cuss failed, and paid his creditors
thirty-three cents on the dollar.
No wonder the old ascalsigned him
self Yours, respectfully" when he
called me swindler.
And here | had gone and paid the old
gouge 5000, when by his own rules
and practice | should have paid him but
S21.93. He was just collecting every
cash cent on his books to salt away be-
fore he swindled his creditors.
Icouldn't understand it then, and I
don't understand it now, why the small
debtor should be deprived of the privi-
leges that accrue to the big one. You
can't understand it either, my boy. 1t
is one of the profound mysteries of our
modern civilization. | sometimes wish
l had the S44 l overpaid that old
wretch, and yet, | don't suppose, at
least hope it would not make me hap
Ply. l think it makes me much happier
to sit down and expose his rascality
and call him names in print. But even
that happiness is marred by the thought
that he doesn't care for that His
creditors called him worse names than
| can think of, and he really did me no
wrong, 1t was just bill; [ owed it; l
was in honor bound to pay it, and |
did pay it, one hundred cents on the
dollar, but what makes me mad as
hornet every time think of it, was the
old thief's virtuous Indignation when
he was afraid he wasn't going to get
my 500 to fail with. This also is
vanity.
Well, the same thing happens in this
Christian land every day, my boy.
There is, so far as | can see, as little
honor in commercial circles as there is
in politics. And then again, there is
just as much. Tammany Hall is as hon
est as Wall street About the ONLY man
who pays one hundred cents on the dol
lar is the man who owes less than 800.
And, if occasionally he pays 0 on the
dollar he has only learned his lesson
from the great commercial schools
where the small dealer sits at the feet
of the great operators and learns all
the knavery and cunning he knows.
What | started out to say, my boy,
was this: If you are in debt, carry your
self calmly as the great houses do. If
you owe merchant S65, don't be in
wv DiS d HuIIy W pay III, q uSb leI lIlIu
sweat over it a little while, until you
see how much he is going to pay on his
own debts. Then you can pro rate
with him. am afraid that is the in
ference you have already drawn from
this rather ill-natured "Reminiscences.
But, on second thought, | don't want
you to do that way. You want to re-
form this great evil, do you not? Well,
the best way to bring about that re-
form is to walk up and pay that S65
you owe, just the first minute you can
collar the money. If you owe it to a
rascal, never mind, it is a just debt on
your part, and don't keep the con-
science of the assignment operator
You pay 100 cents ON the dollar every
time. Then, by and by, as you and
your neighbors do this and teach your
children so to do. there will arise a
generation of men in America who will
| pay one hundred cents on the dollar,
and Canada will become a bowling
Wilderness, untenanted save by the wild
bear and the wolf, who will help the
| wilderness howl.
Bank cashiers will sleep at home and
1 Gla,4io1 al >