Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-31
Bright BITS.

CHAUNcEY DEPEw says that Vanderbilt
was constantly in debt and pressed for
money" Thiz is probably one OF his friends
sfter-dinner condolences that he Is disclosing.
THB cLEBGy. yon NAV have noticed, are
much NOR forcibly reminded OF the cancer
taihty OF liie"- when millionaire dlessnt
denly than when poor man drops dead.
-539frisiouR Herald.
HUssAND-''I would were in Heaven,"F
: IalkatYe WIfe-"fhat Is unkina; Tn sure
/ make II a. pleasant ss can Tor yen"
Husbant-"Ah, but you know the pOetsavs
- de Is landing on some silent shoresR-
YbatEers Statesman. - 81 81 .rofes
IT IssTATED that "Chief Justice Waite has
wsTn OFT five latin robes since he took his seat
on the bepen." II he were 10 sput cushion
on me bench his sioihes wouldn't wear out 50
last. aud he would End the seat much more
eomfor e-fOrFistglez HerGEd.
The DOLPHIN has arrived in safety al New
porl. bnt this s hardly fair test Of her sea-
= OTthlness. livery government vessel can
.rcaeh NEWPORT In safety, and unier the last
sministration nearly all # them spen most
OF their time there CAtcGgo Times. lSi7f
SENATOR EvARTs' SHoRrEsr sPKfeH.-Mr.
Evarts-"Mr. President Dir. HOar-"I
now move, with the cave Of the Senator from
New ork, that the senate proceed 10 the
consideration Of executive business The
motion was agreed to.-C0ngressjOnal Rec3rd.
A GooD JOB OF T.-Optieian-"Andh how
do sou find the glass eye put in for you, SIRE
Satisfactory. / hope"
Old gent. (gleetully)-"satisfact 'Po'
my life, sir, IL frequently can't tell which is
the glass one without taking it out"- Graphic.
UNITED STATES CONSUL CATLIN, OF Zurich.
/ is an lncOrri gible joker. After reading iele-
gram from rvIa, in which five o. the Gener-
ais names mentioned ended with tn, he re-
m4rked In his usual quiet wSv: "HOwever
PREVALENT the disease NAV be among them IL
- 10 max o 1riff M To
the scrdfchP'
AT one Of the schools in this e. ~ yesterday
the master. in a genera exercise. wrote the
word "dOLcg" on the blackboard, and asked
the pupils TO each write a Sentence containing
! the word. He was somewhat taken aback 10
/ fnd on one OF the papers the following unique
sentence: Il dOzen know my lesson. ~ en-
5ltrypo' RerGId
"WHAT did you get for your Christm as -
/ asked bachelor of a ne WY made Benedict
4 got a holiday mint from my wife" he re-
/ piled, with sigh that made his pocketbook
what was it,"
! - cardboard bearing the inscription: THE
/ lord ioveth cheerful glyer,' Mes York
/ journal.
| The WIFE SwEARs OFF,
| II flrt no more, for it's clear
| She Is no model wife who hirts
| swear besides I'll sew next year
The buttons on my husbands shirts,
| I'll be his loving heipmate iov--
| And one more vow IN make and keep,
His pockets IN no more go through
For change at night when he's asleep.
| Boston Courier.
| A 4-YEAR-oLD BOY, while making a morn
/ ing call at the house OF a neighbor, overheard
/ The servant girl taking emphatcalv to the
eat in her endeavOr TO get it out of the kitchen,
| Among other things the girl said to the CA
was this: IF You don't get out OF this III
| shake the liver out OF YOU! - This remark
| struck the listening youngster favorab bly,, and
/ ne treasured IL up for future use. Next mGrn-
! ing he CHANGED 10 be at this same nelghbor's
and the smaller members OF the household
| announced to him that they were going tc
have liver for breakfast. TIE yeangster But
two and two together at once. Iaad reached
! his own conclusions then. to confirm them,
| he turned 10 the girl and asked anxiouslv
ibid YOU shake it out OF the cat2"-N. 4 Dan,
/ Messenger.