West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-11-13
A CASE OF TooTHACAE.
The Isle OF sufferer who Wishes to
Know Whcther uo II the Tsoth or the
Othsr 1cllow.


The Tate OF n sufferer who Wishes to
Know Whether uo II the Tsoth or the
Other fenow.
Reader, did you ever havc tho tooth
ache until your bundle grew too heavy
Tor your weary soul, aud YOU would
gladly tumble over by the waysidc and
kick olr this mortal coilP
All, ha! mcthnks did and rs far rs
my experience goes did not like it,
One night not long since | was sud
douly reused from a pleasant night
mare (whcrc / was captive held by
two parties of Indians that were draw
ing cuts TO determine whether they
would have me boiled or stuck ON "A
stick and roasted whole over the hrc)
To surprised activity BY my dreaming
| suddenly changed TO n fish, and some
one I'm their reckless hurry To string me.
lammod wire up through my gill, into
my eye Thai hroughtmc to. While
lay wondering whether ! had been
blown up on steamboat, carried away
10y a cyclone. or had ON roller skates. il
took me again. Gentle reader. | have
boon travelling man, have been run
'NNA ~ Ali' NhlNs anu ut\tl NtUltN, !
have ttmuorod with the deadly mule:
have monkcy1d with the buzz saw
while I'm motion but when that was
sprung ON me. | camc very near fniut-
ing With ono wild, bluod-curdlng
whoOp | clCaycd the air like sky
rocket When cAmo down | lit ON
the water pitcher and smashed IT, And
when | fOlt pool ON the lluor thought
4 d
myself that 1 might look woll rs u
corpse.
just then my wife began 10 show
symptoms of life Presently | heard
her gentle voice calling
Arthur. Ar thur, whorc are voup'
Hero ! am, dead, Woltcrng i'm my
gore
With worry crcditublc scream she
noppud out of bod, and started ful
matches To light the gas. Unfortmatc-
ly obstructcd her passage. and Just ns
she fell over me scvcnty-siN OF those in
formal death. dealers lit in my jaw all in
a flock
would bc pleased TO present 60 your
notice the fact that ! jumped, hoppcd.
screamed and said some very ancient
names over, numerous times.
My wife, thinking some deadly foe
was graphing with me, made fruitlcss
efforts to shoot me with a press board
But finding this effort unsuccessful
she changed her mode of warfare, and
hit me over the head with IT,
"for lIoavcn's sake, strike n light"
! gaspcd, and while she trcmblingly lit
the gas / danced around ON one foot
cudcavOrng with both hands To- keen
the top OF my head from getting AWAY
When the light dawncd ON this inter
csting scene she managed TO under
stand that | was afflicted with the
toolhachc
"Whv, Arthur dear, why didn't you
say it was your toothP'
"liavcu't | been. yelling the news for
the last hour, more or lcss' Now,
suppose, YOU intend to let me die rieht
here in my tracks" just then II smotc
me stab that made me snort.
longed TO shed thi, world, but it stuck
10 me, aud so did the toolhachc.
My wife hurried down stairs and
after very diligcnt search, found some
toothachc cxtinSui.hcr It seemed as
though she applied the remedy with "A
whitcwash brush or window cleaner. at
least She had surprising luck in getting
IL anywhere but in the tooth. IL felt
decidedly as though she bu 10 a bonfire
under my chin, boiled my tongue, blis-
tered my nose and allowed all my
teeth to escape
There, that will do if you please.
You may end this celebration Send
John after DR. Pickette. aud we will let
him pull it, Tell him to have the doc
tor bring all his dissccting outfit. meat
saws and bOnc-hOoks Wen remove
the cause or unrayel my whole system.
In fifteen or twenty minutes the doctor
came just as quick as the tooth heard
him coming in, il stopped aching But
hc took riycting hammer and
drummcd round in my mouth until hc
located a ripe tooth over i'm the north
cast quarter Of section ten. range one.
west Then he armed himself with
graphing hook and quietly invited me
10 open my mouth. II llcw open
"NOt quite so wide. please, I shall
work from the outside.
Tic then lowered down bis tackle.
shall Away think hc fastened tp my
spine. but ho says hc ddn Anyway
be picked me up and shook me until
with 20 final flip IL pulled out or rather
flew of Since then / have been spend
ing my time trying 30 solve the problem
pt whether ! ann the tooth or the other
fellow Pcck's Sun