Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-10-22
.GO SLOW.v
"Man's vapor, full of woes,
Ho cuts q Gamer and down he goes.


I made bold start, and did not have far to
60, and l acted the fool tolerably well for
several months. ] was seventeen years old,
six feet high, weighed one hundred and fifty
pounds, somewhat slabsided, and looked
more like a man than anything that ever
was seen, not to be a man. | saw great
many wearing fine clothes, boots and fine
hats, chewing tobacco and smoking cigars.
They appeared to be very smart and popu-
lar with the ladies, so 1 thought that consti-
tuted a perfect gentleman, and determln-
ed to 90 into the current Of fashion and pop
ularity. I went to work and madea bale OF
cotton, sold it, and off went to a dry goods
store and bought a suit of fine clothes, a big
bell-crowned bee gum hat, gloves, riding
switch, boots, box of paper collars, hair
grease, cigars, umbrella, and vial of musk
to make me smell sweet. | had my hair
shingled, and had taken kind of second
growth My upper lip had produced a
thick coat ofhair, called moustache. spent
a good deal Of my time rubbing my NOUS
tache with the end of my fingers, and on
one Of my fingers l stuck big brass ring.
Now l thought 1 was rugged up perfect
gentleman. Poor fool, ignorant OF pride
and fashion being contagious disease, and
1 was almost on the lift with it and not
aware of it. The same disease is still ra-
SlIlS, UuU L lOullI a. CulC lOl lVs AoNiS b toih
horse, and frequently the brush would rake
my hat off. 1t would hit the ground, bounce
around and roll like an empty churn. All
right as 1 was in the fashion. / would rig
up of Sunday, stand in the sunshine and
look at my shadow, set one foot out, make a
track, and look what a nice track my boot
would make. imagined myself a perfect
beauty, and imagined that if l could get to
rub my back againsta college wall and take
a trip out west, | would be capable of hold
ing any office in the government. l would
rig up and go to singing school, walk in the
house, and my boots would squeak like the
rusty hinges of barn door. Sometimes |
would walk so straight that would lean
walk, and carry my umbrella over me in
sunshine and shade. All right, as was in
the fashion. would seatmyself in singing
school, cross my feet and rub my mOustache
with the finger that had the ring on. l
would try to walk, talk and laugh, like
some other fool that l thought was acting
smart. would carry cigar to church and
set one end Of it afire, stick the other end in
my mouth, and stand where could be seen,
and hold the cigar with the hand that had
the ring on; so there was cigar with some
fire on one end and fool on the other end.
So / trolloped around for several months
just in that fix, poorsimpleton. had not
thought Of a blow-up, or stove-up, or eXplo-
sion, so one Sunday morning in August, l
rugged up and went to church. The church
house was a new pine log cabin, the door
head very low. So on l went, Jehu-like,
rode up and alghted, walked up with an
elastic step, made spring in the door, and
the top of my beegum just plumbed the
door-head and drove it down to my should
ers. l had one foot in the house. just
pulled that kind foot back and staggered
around the corner of the house, and began
to feel for my head. I was considerably
stunned, and in the dark. / took hold OF
the brim of my hat on each side with my
hands, and began pushing up with all my
strength, and setting back determined to
pull out, for was in a fix and something
had to be done quick. Directly 1 began to
emerge from darkness to light, and with all
myssstrength and awkwardness, succeeded
in pulling out without help. The leather
lining Of my hat pulled out, and it resem-
bled a churn with the brim around the mid
die. My ears and nose burned as if they
had been scalded perspiration flowed in
great drops, and in the scuffie / staggered
against the pine wall, and got pine rosin all
over my fine coat. 1t was stuck up, stuck
down, and twisted and bungled about, so
that it resembled some dressing that we see
nowadays. I came near suffocating, and
when got a good long breath, turned
about, walked slowly to my horse, and
craWled upon the outside of him and rode
slowly home, and was glad had home to
go to. BY the time got home, had qui-
eted down and began to come to my proper
senses, and when l considered the matter
all over, found that the stove-up was a
good lesson to me, though very costly one.
| was enlightened on the folly of pride and
fashion. | could see plain whata fool had
been. I went to the looking-glass and took
good look at myself, and | was as much
disgusted as / had been delighted. took
my knife and cut my hat in two in the mid
die, and slipped the upper half down over
the lower half and made tolerably respect
able hat, and l have been careful ever since
to go slow, and take my hat off when come
to a church door. Perhaps if we had low
church door in this country some young
men or big boys might learn good lesson
as l did. Experience teaches dear school,
but fools will not learn in any other.
TEXAs RIVERS.-The Texas river is an in
stitution that is peculiarly Texan. In the
southern portion of the State many of the
rivers and streams manage to get along dur
ing the summer with very little water.
Near Ell Paso it has frequently occurred
that the natives have had to dig Wellsin in the
dry bed of the Rio Grande, in order to get
drinking water. For many miles the river
bed was as dry as two volumes OF the Con-
gressiOnui Record.
The writer has crossed the Nueces river
without knowing it. The dust was so thick
that he did not perceive that the road cross
ed the dry bed Of the river. About two
I "a r ~ h
out knowing it, tidal wave six feet high
came rolling down the river bed Six hours
afterward the river had risen thirty feet,
and before twenty-four hours had passed
away. The river in some places was upward
of three miles wide, aud at the place where
l stirred up the dust the raging waters were
deep enough to float the Great Eastern.
The CibolO is creek, between Austina and
Antonio, that for many miles runs al
most entirely under ground. 1t consists of
a succession of pools. The water sinks out
of sight, and reappearS mile or SO distant.
The banks of Cibolo are quite steep, and
in some places are forty or fifty feet, which
makes it very difficult for wagons to cross,
particularly in wet weather.
The San Antonio, Comal, San Marcos,
Gaudaloupe, Brazos and Sabine rivers do
not become actually dry, but in summer
they dwindle away to almost nothing. The
statement that the water gets so low that
the catfish have to stand on their heads and
fan themselves with their tails to keep cool
is exaggerated little.
The habit the Texas rivers have of rising
sixty feet in twenty-four hours makes the
building of railroads very expensive in
Texas. The bridges over the apparently
most insignificant streams have to be made
very high, and of the most durable material.
When stranger sees an immense bridge
over small stream, he is inclined to sug-
gest that the people sell the bridge and buy
some wafer to be put in the creek, but after