Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-05-03

three days battle, went all over the
battlefield, piercing with his spear the
ghastly corpses Of his enemies, and ex-
claiming: ''lt Is I, l, the prophet, who
destroyed the heritics!" Compared to
him, Mohammed was no more, in his
mind, than small prophet. He alone
was the only great and powerful Mes
siah announced by Mohammed himself.
The Sultan Of Constantinople was no
more the supreme Caliph, the Chief of
Gslamism; 1t was he. Mohammed-Ah-
med, and he ordered his own name to
be invoked in public worship in tho
place of Mohammed's right after the
name Of Allah.-Dr. n. M. Cote, in
the Catholic World.
WIT AND HUMOH.
'Care may kill cat, but bootjack
sent with proper precision is more
speedy in its action.
chartered oppressors" is the latest
for "blasted monopoly" and it comes
from the wild West, too.
Give tramp the cold shoulder one
day, and he will come back the next
for potatoes to 60 with it.
II can do what like with my colors
now," said the proud young scholar
$50 could l at your age" answered
the master, "but now l can only do
what other people like"
A Washington photographer is get
ting a portrait Of an Indiana man in
the act Of not getting an office. The
negative will be preserved. Louisville
(Ku.) Courier-,JOurnaL
The advance in the price Of nails is
probably brought about by their scar
city. So many campaign lies were
nailed last year that IL has sent the
market up.-Brookiyn Times.
A city photographer went into the
suburbs for the purpose of taking a
live bull from life. For two-mile run
the chance, seemed good for the bull
taking the artist from life Yonkers
Statesman.
They had been quarreling. $50 you
Williamp" she observed. "Yes, l do"
he replied. 'Well, William, l will try
to accommodate YOU" And she did.
NJ Y. Graphic.
A forlorn-looking man said: "I've
tried everything that could turn my
hand to, but couldn't make anything
answer; and now have decided to 60
up among the hills, where they say
there's q wonderful echo, to see il can
make that answer"
1t is not true that the whole is al
ways equal to the sum of all its parts.
The axiom, for instance, falls to
ip,t ~ ko; T..
that instance, the larger and more
numerous are the parts, the less is the
whole hair.-Lye.
Ratiocination: Small Gertrude g
years old)-Mamma, quite agree with
you. Mamma-Why, my child, what
does agree mean? S. G.-When two
persons think alike. Mamma-What
does disagree meanp S. G.-When
one person thinks alike.
The hairdresser at the Jardin des
Plantes with his little son: my boy,
here you see how unequally nature dis
tributes her gifts. This creature, for
the best hairpins are made, but which,
unfortunately, has no hair itself"
Customer-Give me pound of oleo-
margarine. Grocer - Yes, ma'am;
here's your change. Customer-Why,
you've charged me 10 cents; it used to
be 1S. Groceries, MAJ am; but we
are not allowed to sell it now-there's
law agin it-so it's dearer Y
Mail.
Edith, you want to know whether
at their own jokes,' do you, dearp
Yes, Edith, often; in fact, in a good
many cases you will find that they are
the only ones who do laugh at them;
but, of course, this is confidential
Boston Post.
On one of the little brown jugs sent
out by Methodist Sunday-school and
gravely presented to his friends for
their contributions, an old deacon had
pasted the motto, when am full
send me home.' Evidently the old
deacon didn't know about the boys on
New Years.
l held her tiny hand in mine, and
clasped her fairy form, and told my
tale of ardent love in language sweet
and warm. And when ! paused for
want of breath, she raised her dimpled
chin and whispered low, ~ don't catch
on, please sing your song again. ~
Hartford Times.
Here's a mu 'ical salesman adver-
tised for. Why don't you apply, Ned?"
ZIP Why, I'm not musical" per
haps not; but l notice that you can
blow your own horn, you're familiar
with the bars, your remarks are full of
slurs, you're always giving notes, and
all the rest. "-Hotei Gazette.
"Such a splendid sermon" said Mrs.
X. as she sailed majestically out Of
church Sunday morning. Wasn't it
dull and prosy this morningp" said
half dozen other ladies. Mrs. X.
wore new dress, the finest at church
on this particular occasion, and all the
others had seen it.-OH city BLIZZARD.
"Why do you set such tough chicken
before me-" indignantly exclaimed q
fair damsel in restaurant the other
day. "Age before beauty always, you
know. ma'am," replied the polite at
tendant, who well knew how to serve
his employer and tough chicken at
the same time.-Stars and Stripes.
A lady travelling in a Pullman Car,
when she retired for the night, stuffed
some cotton in her ear as preventive
Of eavsche. In the night 1t came out
and shS>stuffed one of the pillows in by
-