The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1885-08-05
News Ite,,,,,s.

South Caralina is the only State in
the Union in which an old gander
who has outliyed his usefulness can
be coaxed to set on hens eggs and
bringforth the spring chickens.
Boston Post: "An anxious inqui.
rer asks: Where would you advise
me to 60 to play the piano?' To the
woods dear; to the deep, dark, damp,
dank, dangerous woods.
The South is divided as to whether
the Rev. Sam Jones should swear and
cuss from the pulpit or use high flown
English. His motto is: "Any way
to knock sinner out"
A boy at Canton, o., stood on his
hesd until death came, TO let his heels
downyand it was then too late to tell
him that he would one day be Presi-
dent Of the United States. *se ~
A New England naturalist asserts
that spiders eat twenty six times their
own weight in food per day. Seems
as if the hog would suggest a change
Of names with the spider.
A Vermont girl went into a mead.
ow to sketch a COW. The COW hap.
pened to be cid one with q ring in her
nose and they picked the girl up on
the other side of a seven rail fence.
The Boston Courier has come to
the conclusion that Maine has more
crime to the square acre than Texas,
and that she must get and make q
strong effort to clear her skirts of bad
people. .
When an Arkansaw postofiice was
broken into the other night the thieves
secured $500 in counterfeit money,
which the postmaster had just receiv.
ed from New York, and his griefis
said to have been intense.
Time works wonders" said
yonng man Of % when he returned
home and found his elder sister only
49,. --
"All alone, my dear child? I'm
afraid that husband Of yours neglects
you terribly. He's always at the
club" "Yes, mamma; but he's at
home at other times.' 4
1t is said that there are more fe.
male physicians practicing in Phila.
delphia than in any other city of the
United States. The first and best
college for medical instruction Of wo-
men is here, and yet this is the only
city whose medical society will not
admit them as members.-Ex.
An Ohio farmer, the other day. met
IN q lonely country locality young
woman attired in a night gown.
Naturally. he asked her who she was,
when she replied: "Nobody, ! died
this morning" The farmer waited
to hear no more, but made tracks for
the nearest settlement at q pace rival.
ing the speed Of Bonner's fastest
trotter.-Atlanta Constitution.
Atlanta Constitution John Russell
Young, the American Minister to
China, who resigned in order to ac-
cept an offer of $4,000 a year from
a paper has arrived in San Francisco.
The newspaper that will pay him that
has not arrived yet, though.
Scranton, Pennsylvania, improves
upon the reasonable sea serpent
story with an account Of On attack
upon two doctors by an infhriated
woodchuroh. We had supposed the
FEASIBILITY Of such things in Pennsyl-
vania ended with the suppression of
the whisky rebellion.
Graveyard Insurance has I'D,
vanced q step In Illinois and the
name now fits The business better
than ever. L. has long been the
practice TO insure men on their death
beds, but a Bloomington man took
out n policy On his iather.in.law after
the latter was in his coffin.
Tndeed,'I I replied, and may |
be permitted to ask who he was 7
"'He was Mr.. Fawceti, tho late
pOstmasteF.general, and he, poor
man, was blind.-New York Sur.