davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15
While Mr.. LYMAN was chief

While Mr.. Lyman was chief clefh
of the Treasury Department he once
found 100000 in an envelope that had
only two Scent stamps on 1t stuck up
in one corner. One New York banking
firm never registered their letters. They
would seal SIC, 200 or 500, 900 in large
envelope, and put two scent stamps on
il. and throw In the letter-box at the
post-ofiice. They told me-" said Mr..
Lyman, ''they found their losses aver
aged less than the express charges
would be. They sent away $4,000 q
week, and said it did not pay to register
or express money " Washington Post.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

For information concerning rates OF fare
etc, call on or address the following agents
Albert Hutchinson, Fairchance: ]. W. So
Wane, ELEPHANTS; G. W. Conrad, Unknown; g.
Farr, Dunbar; David Barnes, Connellsvillc;
or Thomas e. Watt, Pass. Agent Western
District, Pittsburg, Pa.
CHAS. e. PUGH, Gen. Manager.
]. r. WOOD, Gen. Passenger Agent.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15
Pennsylvania Railroad
SOUTHWEST BRANCH,

The shortest route to all points East and
West. Four trains are run daily between
UniOntown and Piltsburg, making close con-
necti0ns at Greensburg with Main Line for
the East and at Pittsburg Union Station for
the North. West and South.
All trains run on Eastern Standard Time
On and after December 10, 1893, trains will
arrive and depart from Stations as follows
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

A SCIENTIST says that very strong So
luton of salt applied boiling hot will pre-
serve wood. This is important TO those
whose wood pile has to be protected by q
spring gun.--LUe.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

sis 1T profitable" asks an exchange,
ito teach young girl elocution!" 1t de-
ponds upon whether he intends to marry
her when she grows up.-N Y. Sun.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

WHEN a barber seeks to make himself
sociable with a customer in the chair, he
is probably ''scraping an acquaintance."-
Chicaao Sun.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

PoPINJAY says that he wishes he could
induce his wife to try the enrly -closing
movement on her mouth. burlington Free
Press.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

'WE are like clock" said a labor ag-
itator. "For when the proper time arrives
we strike. Pittsburgh Chronicle.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

PfKE's TooTHACHE DROPS cure in minute, &c.
Glenn's Sulphur Soap heals and hcautihes. 2bc.
GERMAN Cols REMOVER kills Corns Bunions
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

NOTHING makes one girl so happy as to
read another girls letters A girl couldn't
be a girl and not read all her letters to
some other girl. Fact Chicago Journal.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

AN exchange speaks of 'the good ma
tured girl" We have all heard of her.
She works in some other family.-N Y.
Herald.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

OFFICER examining recruit: "Why do
we salute superior officers?" Recruit-"In
order to keep out of the guard-house. -
Flie0ende Bldettcr.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

AS REGARDS rank among vegetables the
onion comes first.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15
AAY-EENER.

The man In the moon must feel all broke
MP when he 10 reduced TO the last quarter
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

BANANAS are more easily recognized in
the fall than at any other time Of the year.
--Pretzeps Weekly.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

PHYSICIANS appear to be very hard %
satisfy. II their patients get well they
lose them, and IL they die they also lose
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

DOMESTIC notwithstanding the man Of
the house with a broomstick.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

OPENING of the season-uncovering tho
mustard pot.-Boston Bulletin.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

STArr-PRIsoN convicts are like the hairs
Of the head, because they are all nu mbered.
N Y Mai. - ~,
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

thsve been a great suf'
ferer from Hsy.Fcver foi
IS years. I fcsa OF the
wopdrous cures by Eiy's
Cream Balm and thought |
would try once moro. Aft
~ enc application l was
wonderfully helped. Two
weeks ago I commenced
using II and nov ! feel en-
f,reip cured. II istht great
est discovery knowii.-
prsANKL CLARK. Farmer
Lee. Mass.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15
WITHOUT MONEY !.
AND
WITHOUT PRICE!

We have lust issued most wonderful md valuable
new book. which treats OF dieeaacs peculiar ~ the
female SEX and have spared ncf,hcr palms nor pnry
TO make Il worthy the perlsa and condolences OF tho
women all our land. Every mofticr. wife, sister
and daughter Is deeply eifa'tv IN TITS great
work. and should send for II without dtay IL VIII he
sent w. any addressin he world Free sU.ti Read
y csrcfuy. study II well and you will CLEAN informa.
uo that may prove valuable tlun all the wealth
OF thc Rofhschilds-more precious than NIL the ems
OF Europe's royalty. may sats your f.fff
BRApfIELS HnsuLAroR Co.. B0x A. Atlanta Ca
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

JOHN EGAx, Gen Pass. and Tkt., Agent,
CINClNNArI, O.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

See Agents of tins Company for Rates.
Route, &C., or write
VIII. PAGE, IT,, Pass, Agent.
N. ". Cor, Fourth Vine Sts., G ncinnati, q.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15

An almanac three thousand years
old, found in Egypt, is in the British
Museum. 1t is supposed to BIO the
Oldest in the world. 1t was found On
the body of an Egyptian. who had
doubtless regarded it with as much
reverence as he did the Egyptian Bible
The Book of the Dead'-and. in
deed. it Is strongly religious in charac-
ter The days are written in red ink,
and under each is figure. followed by
three characters signifying the probable
state Of the weather for that dav. Like
the other Egyptian manuscripts il is
written ON rapyrus. 1t is written in
columns.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03
A New Fable.

A woodchuck who bad, at great La
Dor and many ack-Aches, managed to
excavate Hole for Himself In Hill
side, was resting and congratulatiDg
Himself when along came a Fox, who
said:
Album! just Fits me! I've been
Looking for just such Den the last
three months"
"You don't mean TO Steal my Home
away?" queried the Woodchuck.
Might makes Right in this Blizzard
Country, aud don't you Forget il! Take
yourself of, or I'll make you lad J"
The Fox took Possession, and the
woodchuck Withdrew, but next morn
ing lie passed that way TO hnd the FOX
fact in Trap Ut the mouth Of the Den.
Some boys had Baited for Woodchuc X
aud caught Fox. AS they Appeared
on the scene Reynard called out:
81 aIa but a poor Fox, while you are
Learned aud Intelligent Human beings
You have no tight to Sacrifice me IN
this manner!"
"Ah! Yes, but this is Question oil
Might instead OF RigEI!" was The He-
ply. as lie was Knocked Oh the Head.
Moral: Ii Ceases 10 be Funny when
Both Sides begin TO play the Same Game.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03

The Sultan Of Morocco hss one thou
sand wives. solomon only had seven
hundred. But Soloman was Wiz
man: he knew when he had enough
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03
UGLY GIRLS.

A plain girl, so long as she Is young,
healthy, and nicely dressed, can never
look ugly. There are some who, though
Manufactured, have what the French
call la beaute du diable. These are the
spry ones who love laugh, who are
not afraid of a mar, and who know 20
well how to make the most OF such
advantages as they possess that they are
acknowledged by all TO be winsome. Some
of the pleasantest girls out belong to
this category, for they make 1t their en-
deavor 10 please-which is not always
the case with your regular beauty, who
is apt to grow conceited from being too
much courted. Beauties are often silly.
The girl with the DEVILS beauty, never
is; for indeed, her attractiveness comes
from the sparkle of intelligence In her
eyes, and from her happy self-posses-
sion. She is pretty sure to be good
dresser, dancer and talker. She will
have the tact not to show off her accom-
plishments unless she isquite certain to
shine; and she will allow a man to dis
cover her perfections one after another,
rather than try 10 force them upon bis
notice all of heap.
An intelligent literary gentleman
gives the following amusing experience
of a ride in car with three clever girls:
"There is a prejudice against clever
girls. | confess to liking them AZ
much as | DO clever men, though their
penetration into the foibles of our sex
does occasionally inspire one with
desire to go off and hide somewhere. /
was ouce travelling in one Of those first
class carriages which are divided into
two compartments. / was alone IN
mine, but there were three young la
dies IN the other; and as the partition
door was closed, they either did hot no.
tice my presence, or else were SO un-
concerned about it, that they began TO
discuss the ways of men as If were not
there to hear. The things they said, f,
the merry way in which they said them,
the extraordinary yivacious intuition
which they eyinced as 70 the weak
points Of mans character, were all "a
amusing as they were humiliating 10
listen 20. had to get out, and passed
through the compartment where the
fair critics were. say fair" by cOur-
tesy, for there were none Of ;hem pretty.
They became silent moment, as II
abashed, but then Uttered behind their
mufrs, and only redeemed slightly when
turned around, bowing aLd remarked !:
Thank yoI for an agreeable journey
and good lesson, young ladies'" Try
and remember it :" answered one, with
good-humored sauCiness. am sure she
for his sake, poor fellow that he
has contrived 10 behave himslf.
Here were plain girls who were bound
to get Oh In life but there are others, less
sharp and mirthful, whose lot Is siDgu-
larly cheerless. Take the girl who is
positively plain, without any "deyiPs"
beauty" who Is not clever, and who
has no money. Her father may be a
man with small professional income,
lust enough TO get or with, and he may
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03
Judging by ApPearances.

A humming-blrd met butterfly, and
being pleased with the beauty Of bis.
person and the glory Of his w.nG,
made al offer OF perpetual frlendship.
al cannot think Of it," wastbe reply,
"as you once spnrned me anc called me
a drawling dolt."
"Impossiblev" exclaimed the hum.
ming bird. 81 always had the greatest
respect for such beautiful creatures as
you" -. =
perhaps you have now," said tie,
other, 'but when you iDsulied me WAS
a caterpillar. So let me give you OIL
Of advice, never insult the humble, as
they may oae day become your supe-
riors."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03
nIPPIxG AWAY.
They are slipping away, those sweet swirl
yeara

They are slipping away, those sweet swift
years.
Like q leaf on the current cast;
With never break in their rapid fiow'
We watch them as one by one theygo
Into the beautiful past.
As silent and swift as a weaver's thread,
Or an arrows flying gleam:
As soft ns the languorous breeEes hid
That lift the willows long golden lid,
And ripple the CLASSY stream
As light as the breath OF the thistle down,
As fond as the lovers dream;
AS pure as the flush In the seagulPs throat,
AS sweet as the wood-olrds wooins note
80 tender and sweet they seem.
One after another we see them pass,
Down the dim-lighted stair:
We hear the sound OF their steady tread
In the steps OF the centuries long since dead
AS beautiful and as fair.
! There are only n few years left TO love;
Shall we waste them in Idle strife;
Shall we trample under our ruthless feet
Those beautiful blossoms, rare and sweet
BY the dusky way of life.
There are only n few swift years--ah, lei
No envious taunts be heard;
Make life's fair pattern OF rare design,
And fill up the measure with loves Swee'
wine,
But never an angry word!
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03
SFFPHERDSTOWN V FRIDAY, APRIL B. 1885

taken aback.
"At the roots of my wheat and bar-
ley" answered Ezra. adding, with a
laugh: "To tell the truth, sir, / con-
suited a fortune-teller, and she told me
to dig anG dig, and would certainly
find pot of money. | haven't found it
yet, but l intend 10 keep on digging,
and don't Goubt but shall find 1t by
and-by."
Squire Scudder burst into hearty
laugh, and kindly patted Ezra on the
shoulder.
81 don't doubt but you will, my lad, :"
he said cheerily. "Honest industry Is
the best pot of money any young man
ever found. As for Clara, you can talk
over that matter with heI self-she's sit
ting there by the window, hidden be-
hind the curtains"
Now thar was dreadfully mean of the
Squire not TO have given hint Of
Clara's presence before, but he didn't
mean it. II seems quite impossible for
these old gentlemen to realize how Sc
rious such matters are to boys and girls.
Squire Scudder rose with nod and a
smile and went away, leaving Ezra in
dire confusion staring at the window
curtains, and wishing the floor would
open and swallow him. But it didn't.
Instead the window curtains opened
aud lovely young lady stepped out
from them.
go, Mr.. Alden" she said, stepping
forward, you consulted the gypsy for
tunc-teller, too"
80. Miss Scudder-ClaIa-you have
heard everything, stammered Ezra,
sinking into the chair from which he
had risen In his first CONSERVATION.
"What terrible fool you must think
me-"
But DON'T have great confidence
in that gypsy's predictions"
Then You consulted her, too?" ask
ell Ezra.
"Dozens of times-she beguiled me OF
ali my small silver"
"well, she got but single piece from
me, that's some comfort" said Ezra,
recovering somewhat, and venturing
to laugh slightly.
"Was it anything like this?" asked
Miss Scudder, producing one from her
pocket. and holding it toward Ezra on
the palm of hand like cream.
Ezra looked and started ard gave a
little cry. 1t was his own lucky oliver
piece. Tie glanced into the laughing,
blushing face; and then for the fret
time he looked straight into Clara Scud-
der's eyes. They were very dark and
wonderfully brilliant; but this time
they did not seem to look through him
they sank before his glance, aud veiled
themselves under lovely, long, black
lashes.
so, Clara!" murmurcd Ezra; lyon
were the gypsy"
"Of course | was"
"And you knew | loved you all the
time?"
"Of course | dil, you foolish boy
that's why | had to invent way OF
telling you sos"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03
Trust Nothing Else

than AYERS sARsAPARILLA. Numerous
crude mixtures are offered to the public
as "blood purifiers" which only allure
the patient with the pretense OF many
cheap doses, and with which 1t is folly TO
experiment while disease Is steadily be.
coming more deep-seated and difhcult OF
cure. Some of these mixtures DO much
lasting harm. Bear in mind that the only
medicine that can radically purify the
vitiated blood is
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03

IL was a very OLD spanish writer wh'
said that ~ woman Is quite perfect aud
absolute la beauty il che has thirty sov'
points" Here they are:
Three thugs wbits-the 'kin, the
teeth, the hands.
Three black-lhe eyes, the eyebrows,
the eyeiasbes.
Three red-the lips, the cheeks, the
nails.
Three long-tbe body, The hair, the
hands.
Three short-.be teeth, the ear', The
feet.
Three broad-tbe chest, the brow, The
space between the eyebrows.
Three narrow-Ibe mouth, tho wsist,
the instep.
Three Iarge-tbe arm, the lcin' the
limb.
Three fne-the fingers, the hair, the
lips.
Three smaIl-the bust, the nose, the
head.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03
Myriads of Cures

Achieved by AYERS sARsAPARILLA, In
the past forty years, are attested, and there
is no blood disease, at all possible of cure,
that will not yield to It. Whatever the
ailments of this class, and wherever found,
from the scurvy Of the Arctic circle to the
'.veldt-sores" Of South Africa, this REM
edy has afforded health to the sufferers
by whom it was employed. Druggists
EVERYWHERE can cite numerous cases, with
in their personal knowledge, Of remark
able cures wrought by it, where all other
treatment had been unayailinS. People
will do well TO
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03
Ayer's Sarsqpana

Is the only remedy that can be relied upon,
In all cases, to eradicate the faint of hered-
itary disease and the special corruptions
of the blood. 1t Is the only Alternative
that /, sufficiently powerful to thoroughly
cleanse the system of Scrofulous and
Mercurial impurities and the pollution
OF Contagious Diseases. 1t also neu-
tralizes the poisons left by Diphtheria
and Scarlet Fever, and enables rapid
recuperation from the enfeeblement and
debility caused by these diseases.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03

For seven years a New Hsmspbire
mechanic made circuit Of half . mile
twice per day rather than pass q pow
der.house. The other day be learned
that 1t had been empty for four years.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-04-03

A woman in Ohio gave 81 900 TO a
faith cure doctor, who at once disaP-
neared. She was cured-of her faith.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-12-05
A Child's Thoughts At Church.

Here il our pew in the Church.
What a hish-backed pew: with u win
dow neal it. out of which our house can
he seen, and ia seen, many times du-
ring the mornings service by Peggotty.
who likes to make herself believe rs
sure ~ she can that it's not being rob-
bed or ia not in flames. But though
Peg"tty's eye wanders. she is much of
Tended if mine does. and frowns to me,
AZ I stand upon the scat, that l am to
look at the clergyman. BIT l cant al.
way- look ut him. | know him with
ont that white thing on. and l am
afraid Of his wondering Why l stare 50.
and perhaps stopping the service and
what am / tn do lisa dreadful thing
t" cape, but l must do something. l
!o,k ut my mother, but she pretends
l." see ne ; l look at u boy in the
aisle, and h. makes face. a, me. look
at IN" sun light coningat the open door
tm"'sh the porch. aud there | see IA
stray >heep~l don t mean u SINNER, but
mutton ia + making up his mind to
c"n- into Church. | feel if | look at
HIM my longer ! might he tempted to
say something out loud and what
would become of me then! l look up
d. the Monumental tab cts on the wall
aud try I" think OF Mr. Dodgers. late o.
This parish, and what the feelings o.
Mrs. Dodgers mast have been, when af
t~i'cti'" sore, long tl.ne Mr.. Dodgers bo,e
and physicians Were in vain. l Won
der whether they called IN Mr.. Chiliip,
and he WAS il" am !; and if 80. how he
likes to be reminded Of it once q week.
l look from Mr.. Chiliip, in his Sunday
neck cloth, to the pulpit; and think
what II good place it would be to play
IN, aud what a castle it would make
with another boy coming up til" stairs
to stt"ck it, aud having the velvet cush
ion with the tassels thrown down upon
hi" head. IL times my eyes gradually
shut up, and from seeming 10 hear thu
Clergyman singing a drowsy song i'll
the heat. l hear nothing, until tall of
the seat with q crash. and am taken
ont more dead than alive, by Peggo.ty.
David Copperi-ldby. Dickens.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-12-05
An old Maid Badk Fooled.

An PhenixvilIe maid, quite old, be
coming anxious abnut her matrimonial
chances. recently concocted u plan t"
deceive II young fellow a. to her age
The old family Bible contained a faith
full record Of all births, mar
riages aud deaths. This volumc the
maiden took to her chamber, and 81
lec'ing the birth page, she managed.
by dint of scratching and writing. to
rhnnge the date of her birth to u period
eleven years later than it had been IT,
ultimately recorded. Then the Bi,l,.
WA. placed on the sitting room tab.
III q conspicuous manner. That even.
ing came along tho lover. He soon br
gan TO finger with the Bible pnges, and
tiually reached the birth record, wl,-.
and when h. discovered to his .urp,is.
that hi- Angelina Was just one yen.
younger than a.. He thought i,
strange, AZ she Appeared older. II
kept his mouth shut and continued to-
fambIe over pages. Next he began rear
ing tho death list. and made the very as
tonishingdiscoverythat the radiant maid
en-. according to the Bible. had actna,
~ been born ten years after tho de.
cease IT her father The young man
quietly arose and bid Angelina good
bye, and now swears that ..eternai viz,
lance is indssa the price Of liberty.''-
Ex-
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-12-05
Men and Women Cooks Compared,

There seems to be n.re natural diff
entity far fhr wnaan 10 learn than th,
man. There is Il swnrt tooth running
through her sex which affects her tast.
and renders her less Trustworthy She
is lest exact. at least in tho pursuits #
this vocation. and does not reason H.
the man does. If he fails he think~
and tries to find out tho cause of the
failure, which she is less apt to do. H..
gives pounds and onnc-- as TO uan,,ty
where she gives Approximate haulful>.
The man is particular about the TODD
which he consumes himself, which
makes him more careful about VIII 1t Il
prepares for others. Many women ar.
content provided they have ice -crcam
and sweet cake, or something eqaiva
lent thereto. Count de Najac, u m,n
Of some authority concerning the table
ut Paris. AYERS that the interests and
traditions of the kitchen eau only b.
confined with safety to men, aud thnt
1t the women guest> at IL table, were
not under the eye of the stern sex they
would brgin dinner with The drssrrt
A" may be conceived, this is a pnintui
mistake for Il gallant Frenrhman to
make, but Il sense Of duty donbt;r.a ri.
Notwithstanding, even it msn BIZ s,pe
rlor 10 women in this calling. if any
widespread movement is to come abuu;
the movement must come ftOm item,
for the ki'chen is virtually ia tlieli
hands.-Ex.