The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-02-14
roo MUCH STUDY.
The Mistakes of . Humorist. Dangegs
 of the Lecture Field.

Mir. Alfred Hayson, the humoFist
 whose paragraphs have been generously
 copied by admirers from whom he copied
 extensively, vent out into the lecture
 6sld, but only remained . short time.
 Upon returning to his paragrsphie duties which he did without any great show
 of pride-some one asked him why he
 stopped lecturing.
 "oh, we'll" he replied, "l have taken up the Idea that the territory belonging
 to the humorous lecturer is pretty wsll
 covered. Yos :se, my style was little
 ornate fer the commonplaee people l vis-
 tied. My first appearance was h . log
 school-house. The institution wasn't in
 very good repair, still was somewhat
 surprised to see couple of hogs cone
 wandering in after the door was closed.
 It didn't seem to make any difference to
 the hogs, and 1 have but little cause for believing ::h.. the audience cared. We'll
 said an old fellow, turning to me when
 the interest created by the hogs had
 somewhat subsided, git up an tell us
 somethin'. Your bills says that you
 would make dog laugh. Its been some
 time since we was tickled, an think ws
 can stand our moneys worth.' was
 not SO powerfully helped up by this re-
 mark, for anticipation, yoa know, slings
 mud on fun. Does, sure as you live. Well, when everybody seemed to be |sssdy, began my lecture. didnt van. to flash upon them, but thought that
 would gradually turn up the light, allow ing them to get used to the giow,
 and thea throw up my arms aud glare at lem like headlight. had sx.
 pecsed that they wouid bs easily pleased,
 for before the performance began, they
 laughed at everything each other ssid 1;
 but 1t wasn't that way when began. Every particle of light faded from their
 faces, and in blank expectancy, they sat gazing at me as though they thought 1t
 possible for me to jolt them into good
 humor. tried everything that the news. papers have ever used, but with the ex. cepboa of an occasional yawn, heard
 no sound. Although the night was cold, yet the perspiration came out and stood upon my brow like warts upon . toad. No one smiled. threw aside origin. slity and thought that would try them
 with somsth lng that had done duty iu .
 mirthful way for hundreds of years, bat not . single smile rewarded my research. ! told them an old joke that Dan Rice isand somewhere smosg the Jewish archives. One old ietiow smiled in Sss- bic recognition, bat the rest of the au- disnes refused to accept any saeh
 modern innovation. told them about
 the old mans boot-about the cats great dread of the boot.iaek; the mules antipathy to the human family, but they gapsd. The old fellow who had expected to hear something fsnny, suggested that was an impossoT, and moved that be taken out and
 showed against . tres. This motion
 met with applause, and, borne upoa
 the ipdignan. tide, was taken
 out dont nox remember hos
 many rails shey split ~i.h me, bu, re-
 collect that when they took me down from the cold ar and les me resume my acquaintance with the earth, 1 started is . northvesserly direcsicn and travelled
 with much dispatch. About daylight [
 met man, who, ahes hearing my sad stosy, said that must have made mis. take. He said that hs was . hamosous lscssrtr. and that sssii hs gct bseks h, hs sav great deal Of tsoub bIe. sYou said sOthing aboxt the ciofhes-iins h the bsck yard, did yoaF hs ssksd. Nc, ,,irs- piled, T iosgot te mention It. Al, thss was as cvsrhght. wishous ths csothss- lisa. ths mincs pis asd ths dog sasaaEs. hsaeaoas Iscsssisg vosIA bs dssasy wasbs. Yes nsst iesss so kssp - vith 'ths timss. Year sltE sezt, shan sskasl to fhs nothsr-in-iav and tks old maas boee.'
 "aI spoke el fhs bsst, s,id l.
 S'Yes, bsf prsmstarsiy. Yos mue nsvx rash forward vifA sucA impstposisy. | ! n psepaisg Lecture vhich 1 shail dslis9 fvs ss ixysaw fbsa aew. lt nsas ! = ths plsnb9s asd hiss somsek ek31g css-I