Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-11
BRIGHT BITS.


A BELLE differs somewhat from cowboy
The more powder she uses the less dangerous
she grOws.-LOWeU CttteeH.
"SAvE NE two bald-headed seats" was the
laconic but expressive telegram received by
providence theatre treasurer.
THE man who went TO the country for "rest
ana change" says the walters got most OF his
change and the landlord the rest.-BoSt0n
Commercial Bulletin.
A KEY is among the latest ornaments" for
women's bonnets. Perhaps it viii be utii
lzed when they uniasten their locks before
retiring. Boston Transcript.
TIE London Truth tells OF theatrical per-
Torrance which was bad that even the
dead heads rose IN their fury and demand
ed the return Of their orders"
WHEN a woman goes horseback riding, she
wears silk plug hat She does that so the
horse Will believe SHE'S a man and won't be-
come frightened al her. She couldn't fool
Kentucky mule that way.-h entNchg State
JOurNdG.
"DID NOT the sight of the boundless blue
sea, bearing on Its bosom the white winged
fleets of commerce. ill you with emOtion?"
Yes" replied the traveller, ''for while il
did, but after while II didn't fill me with
anything. 1t sorter emptled me. "--IeDdS SIT
tn0s.
POLICEMAN-"Come down out O. that, young
feller.' Reporter-"But I'm reporter, and
| wan to get Il description Of the fire"
Poiceman-''To the divn wld you You
can't stay there. Y on kin fond out all about
the fore from the papers in the morning.
Chicago Rambler.
THE ideal civil-service commission is a sub
ject that is bothering people good deal. We
have four states to suggest as follows:
Medli, scharz, Hoar, Eus St.
Halstead. Beechesr. Malone. ' Rosecrans.
-ChicdQO NetCS.
MISS KENDALL, a Sacramento artist, is
highly indignant over the action of the art
committee in declining to hang in the Cali
fOrnla State FAIR art gallery a painting made
by her representing the Sacramento river in
the future If hydraulic mining continues. The
committees trouble arose in trying to dlstin-
guIsh in the painting the Sacramento river
from the hydraulic machlnery.-AFt Jour
nrI.
MAGNIFICENT MARY
Lo myrads flock TO G0tham's halls,
Not now to view 4 mill;
The surging mass with one voice Gala
The girls from Louisville.
on pile the dollars high tonight;
Squeeze not the newy bill;
Once more she dazzles all in sight
The girl from Louisville.
Courier Journal:
ERUDITE GROCER balancing can of
peaches In his hand)--My dear madam, did
you know that we really knew nothing about
OF POmpen were uncovered. ana splendid
specimens were recovered, canned over 20
centuries agOI snappish old lady customer
No, didn't know IL. But | did know your
canned goods We're very old. How long be-
fore YOU will have your stock from Pompeu
worked oH.- Oh{c2a0 Tribune.
"QUICK. Mrs. Drybread Mr.. Timkins-
ma'am-has Killed himself-in the back par
lOr--"
Gracious, goodness! Do you mean to say
he has hung himself?-the poor dear man!
What can have en- the reasOn"
90. no, ma'am, he hasn't hung himself
wOrse-he's cut his throat-n
''Cut bis throat! and q new carpet CRly put
down last Mon iay! Drat The man! Why
couldn't be have zone into the bath loom 2"-
PhiLa3ekphtd cal.
NJ, GREyY, President of the French Repub-
lie, Is said to be rather parsimOnOus. The
latest anecdOte about him Is TO the effect that
at the OdeOn the other evening a stranger
presented himself and asked et what time he
expected the President to arrive at the thea
tref The President is not expected this even
ing" replied the manager. Nv no told you
that he was cOmlngY mo one,' returned
the stranger, but had seen in the papers
that you were giving performance night
at reduced rates!'-E ochdnGe.
A PECULIAR REcOMMENDATIoN-A New
York me chant who does business with Nose
Schaumburg, of Austin, wrote to the latter,
asking him II a certain Austin lawyer was
reliable. The same lawyer owed Nose S22 for
suit Of clothes. Nose turned to Jake Silver
stone, his efficient CLERK, and said: ''Choost
write to that man in New NOricky, dot 1t vas
one OF my plshness PRINCIPLES never TO say
holdings PAD OF man IN mine own town.
hence. for dot reason. saws holdings about
dot schay-hawk lawyer" -Tes0s SiJtin9s.
OFF THE FIELD
Lay down your little ball and bat,
rhe season dies to-day;
Take OF your suit and dainty hat,
And lay your scores away.
The umpiTe's occupation 3 gone,
No more hen strut about
As II he owned the place alone,
And yell his llttle "outH
The pitcher can retire a space
And give his arms a rest,
The catcher get his hands in place,
And dltto--all the rest.
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