Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-18
BRIGHT BITS.

"All want is a single heart" writes 20
etress. A practical woman would be salts
fed with solitaire diamond.-PhiIGdelp hid
can.
GRoCER-"Haif pound of tea? Which will
you have, black or greenV Servant-"Shure,
aythur VIII do. It's for an ould woman that's
nearly bloind."-ChristiGn Re9ister.
A SIOUX Indian named Never Drink, re-
Gently moved to st. Paul. Inside of week
after he changed his name to John Smith,
since when he has enjoyed life much better
Puck.
LITTLE boy, beware. A good, kind lady
who gives You gingerbread to-day, when you
come over to play with her little boys and
CIR may be your mOther-in-law in the rosy
future.
ROBERT TooMBs is spoken Of as man with
out country. Wen, what of it? Many a
man who acts as If he owned the country,
would be glad to exchange his title for one to
Ioombs' real estate.-Bost9n Post.
A SPOILED FRUIT: Country bride lat din
ner, u husband, who is doing his best TO eat
an olivel-"W What's the matter with the pluns
JamesYn Husband lwi}h "A wry face)-"The
blamed thing Is spilled. '-HarDey'o B0sar.
1.-THE American eagle sti screams. thun-
dered a silver coinage orator, holding up
silver dollar 80 the crowd could see it. ''You
bet ne does" came voice from the multi
tude me screams for that other fifteen
cents."- Cincinnati Merchant 1rdUeLer,
POET writes: ~ send you my poem, but
fear made mistake IN not writing a re-
frain or it," Never mind, we shall do the
refranlng for you. The way in which we
shall refrain from printing it Will finish the
poem beautifully .-Ne0 York Tribune.
A Boston lady who had recently moved to
Chicago IN speaking to now acquaintance,
said: II suffer terribly from insomnia. ="
rs TRANCE" said the n. A., lin a new house,
too; you'll have to get trap" 8 he thought
insomnia BOstonese Tor rats.-EUdaS0lHe DR.
gus.
"wHY, Johnnyw exclaimed mamma.
''aren't you ashamed OF yourself. going about
with such dirty face" NO, amt" replied
Johnny, with conscious pride IN the integrity
of his Intentions; you'd ike to have me taken
for dude, wouldn't yOu"-BostoR Tran
script.
A BOY took a walk with his father on Wash
ington street, Providence, and as they were
passing the Insane X ct eat the son asked /:
Father, why don't we ever see any faces at
the window when we walk BY the Retreat?'
because, my SON. replied the parent, "their
heads are turned."-Go0d cher.
SOME FELLOW has published Zone Hundred
Proofs thai the Earth is Not Globe" This
is another result Of electing a Democratic
President. No one thought Of changing the
shape of the earth during a Republican ad =
mnlstration. This craving for ''change" is
going zoo far. yOr1iSt0t0n Herald
SAUCE for the eapderiis not always sauce for
the goose. Mrs. Biank-"Alrs. Browns
daughter Hattie was IN here Today. She's "a
very pretty Young lady" Blanks ~
Next day Blank says: II saw that pretty
Hattie Brown tnl- morning. she is q pretty
girl, and no mistake" Mrs. Blank-''Seems
to me YOU have good deal to say about pretty
Miss Brown. Pretty Where are your ewes,
l wonuer!'-BooEOn Transcript.
A teacher, all goodness and smiles,
Asked who 10 was Travelled for miles,
And Toasted her eyes
On solomon WISE
And his wealth rs 1t lay in great piles2
The teacher believed much in aids
To help pupils up she steep grades;
So he said, "Yon can guess
II begins with an 5; >"
And little boy said, ''Queen Of Spades?"
Columbus Dispatch.
AT 10 O'Clock in the evening gentleman In
| great hurry leaped into a facre amt cried To
| the coachman: "Rue Bleue!n After u GER
tain time mad elapsed he perceived that he
was not going in the rght direction. He
/ called to the coacnmau: Where are you
I taking me| The c)achman answered: "Herc
/ you are, citizen, at your destination" "But
! ! am in the Rue Violet. and told you the Rue
! Bleuew 30, confOund itr' growled the
/ coachman. "By gasight I always get those
! two coiors mixed. "-FreHch Fun.