The Dillon tribune., 1885-02-28
Gh< Aalon Eibn'tt:
THE GOLD MANS" EXPERIENCE.
Peck's Had BOY Takes His fa'"e' - '''%
Rink and Gives q Full Report
of the Old Gents Antics.


ceryman to the bad boy, as he came INTO
the grocery the morning after Christmas
The bow looked at his shirt front, put
HI. fnoers on the stuff, and smelled OF his
fingers. and then said: ooh, that is moth
ing but little Of the turkey dressing and
gravy. You see, after Pa and | got back
from the roller skating rink Yesterday, ia
was ali broke up, and he couldn't carve the
turkey, and had to do it, and Pa sat IT.
stuffed chair, with his head tied up, and
pillow amongst his legs, and he kept COM
planning that didn't GO right. Col darn
turkey anyway. l should think they
would make turkey fiat on the back, SO
he will lay on greasy platter without
skating all around the table. 1t looks easy
to see Pa carve turkey, but when spear
ed into the bosom of that turkey, and be-
gan to saw on il, the turkey rolled around
as though il was on casters, and it was all
could do to keep it out of Mas lap. But
rassled with it till got Off enough white
met for Pa and Ma, and dark met enough
for me, and l dug out the dressing, but
most of it flew into my shirt bosom, cause
the string that tied up the place where the
dressing was concealed about the person Ct
the turkey, broke prematurely, and one
oyster hit Pa in the eye, and he said was
as awkward as a cross-eyed girl trying to
kiss man with hair lip. If l ever get
to be the head of family shall carve
turkeys with corn shelter"
"But what broke your Pa up at the
roller skating rink?' asked the grocery
man.
"Oh, everything broke him up He is
split up so Ma buttons the top of his pants
to his collar button, like bicycle rider.
Well, he had no business to have told me
and my chum tina, he used to be the best
skater in North America, when he was a
boy. He said he skated once from Albany
to New York in an hour and eighty min
utes. Me and my chum thought if Pa was
such terror on skates we would get him
to put on a pair of roller skates, and enter
him as The great unknown and clean out
the whole gang. We told Pa that he must
remember that roller skates were different
from ice skates, and that maybe he couldn't
skate on them, but he said it didn't make
any difference what they were as long as
they were skates, and he would paralyze
the whole crowd. So we got pair of big
roller skates for him, and while we were
strapping them on, Pa he looked at the
skaters glide around or the smooth floor,
Just as though they were creased. Pa
looked at the skates on his feet, after they
were fastened, sort Of forlorn like, the way
horse thief does when they put shackles
on his legs, and I told him if he was afraid
he couldn't skate with them we would take
them off, but he said he could beat any
body there was there, or bust a suspender.
Then we Strengthened Pa up, and pointed
him towards the middle of the room, and
he said 'leggo,' and we just give him lit
tie push to start him, and he began to 60.
Well, by gosh, you'd died to seen Pa try
to stop. You see, you can't stick in your
heels and stop, like you can on ice skates,
and Pa soon found that out, and he began
to turn sideways, and then he threw up his
arms, and walked on his heels, and he lost
his hat, and his eyes began to stick out,
cause he was going right towards an iron
post. On arm caught the iron post, and he
circled around it few times, and then re
let go, and began to fall, and, sir, he kept
falling all across the room, and everybody
go: out Of the way, except girl, and Pa
grabbed her by the polonaise, like drown
ing man grabs at straws, though there
wasn't any straws in her polonaise that
know OF, but Pa just pulled her along as
though she was done up in shawl strap,
and his feet went from under him, and he
struck on his shoulders, and kept going,
with the girl dragging along like bundle
u (tOluCS. ~ q TAU I0O 0JONICI pair VI
roller skates on his shoulders, and castors
on his ears, he couldn't have slid along any
better. Pa is short, big man. and as he
was rolling along on his back, he looked
like sofa being pushed across room by
girl. Finally Pa came to the wall, and
had to stop, and the girl fell right across
him, with he roller skates in his neck, and
she called him an old brute, and told him
if he didn't let 60 Of her polonaise she |
would murder him. Just then my chum
and me got there, and we amputated Pa
from the girl, and lifted him up, and told |
him for heavens sake to let us take off the
skates, cause he couldn't skate any more
than COW, bat Pa was mad, and said for |