Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-02-06
TIE P..1GHClC IS :.
The Man Who Diagnu-eS t:I" {; Ups ~
sieu's Head.

Ihe Man W iiO Diagnoses ''i'' Z ~ - ~
5ien's iIrai'.
One of the experiences OF iif' which
is not given every one TO eng i ~ ii:g
a phrcnologist haul in h> Mt of
gudgeons. Being thing whose reye-
lations are more apt to stimulate any
ones vanity than 10 help him along in
the world, phrenoiogy is always sure Of
credulous dcvotccs. 1t fouri-hcl best
on rural soil, though when well watcrcd
it grows fairly in metropolitan atmos-
phcre.
AS the curious business is generally
managed the phrcnologist-''world re-
nowned' according TO the circulars -
has his lair behind L screen in n large
room. generously furnished with plaster
of paris heads mapped off in sections,
and pictures which Indicate the bu>i-
ness. Thithcr pcnr,rates the youth who
thinks man who has never before set
eyes on him knows more about his head
than he does himself
When he sits down hi; face j. grave
and anxious TO gha>flinc,S; 'whcn he
gets up he has Il stunned expression.
The knowledge impaired to him has
siupeicd him. He has more head
than he thought he had. and he thought
he had good deal. His brain swells
as he thinks of the kind of fellow he is
and how unconscious he has been of his
own greatness hitherto.
He pays his dollar. or two. or three
or five in dazrd way, and with an en-
piiat.c feeling that he never got 50 much
for So little money before. Perhaps he
ha, had chart made out. In that ca Q
his mind dwcllS on il all the way home -
and the way he will surprise everybody
who thought they knew him and didn' I
- for be it known that although he
doubts his own knowledge of himself
and the verdict of his own father and
mother and all the neighborS, he never
doubts phrcnology nor the perfect hon
esty of its apostle whom he just patron
lied lie will doubt that the earth doth
move. doubt that the stars are fire.
doubt truth and all the virtues, hut he
Lever doubts that the man who Ills out
his chart can read heads as clearly ~
he can read the signs on lamp-poSt, In
wears to come he will look over that
chart it will become n habit to look
over it and talk about it, and he will
still believe in it. To he sure he tray
elcd Il different road from that which the
chart said he was adapted to illuminate;
he has not achieved the measure OF
greatness which phrenology assured him
he should; but that does not shake his
faith in his favorite science. Circum-
stances, not phrcnoloGy, are to blame
for his falling short of his chart. In his
inmost soul to his dying day he believes
in that awful map. That represents
him as he would have been if he
hadn't been handicapped by fate.
A curious glitter comes into his eyes
whenever he speaks of the science OF
phrenology. The sub Get >iirs his blood,
and puts him in good humor with him.
self. though it gives him a poor opinion
| of the rest of mankind. He cant help
but see that everybody everybody,
except the man who examined his
heads utterly obliyiouS to his great
ness. In spite of all his philosophy thil
embitters him somewhat towards an uu-
apprcciativc world. He finds dubiou.
sort of comfort in steering Il CONVERSE
ton into chronological channels. II
gives him an opportunity Of asserting
his unshakable belief in 1.-THE neglected
sciences" Perhaps he does n Little o
diagnosing character that way himself
1t lifts him above the common herd il
his own mind. ANY way. his faith ir
his chart is deathless thing. not to h,
upset or destroyed even by tho confut
ing evidence of long and badly ordcrc,
life. He may lose confidence i'll HI,
fellow men. surrender his most cher
ished friendships. submit TO adverse
ruling in his love affairs, outgrow h.
religion and set aside some of his bcS
beloved hobbies; but he dies faithful t,
chronology.
As each victim makes his exit from
the head-delineator's clutches it is wortl
while to take look at the face of tha
renowned world cnlightcncr II is sin
gularly composed and unreadablr. |
there are disparities between the chart
and the heads, there is no record O
them in the professors visagc Every
thing like an expression has been dis
charged therefrom. -!Sda Jose (ttti.
Herald.