The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-09-04
Carrying Watorm.lons

"rhe watermelon season seems TO no
over with us," said a gentleman on
the ntreet on Saturday evening. "T
suppose tho doctors are happy"
"rhGt's all nonsense ssout water
nolons causing cholera mofbus and
yellow fever, and boils, and rheums-
tism, aud the dozen other disorders
that arc charged 10 thOm," said an
other man. "Rlpe wateEmslons are
the most innOcont frui. on record"
"Nhey may be worry innocent 20 eat,
but WOO TO tho man who attempts TO
handle or carry one," replied the first.
"Csrrying watermelons look upon as
| ono OF the greatest accsmplishments Of
refined society. Tho man who can
carry ono successfully might 10 into
politics and carry water on both shout.
\ ders, and in the small Of the back, too,
II he wanted to. Do you zoe that
group over there by tho fruit storof"
A reporter who happened to bo pass
ing and overheard tho conversation,
looked In The direction indicated and
saw an elderly gentle nan with an anx.
ious countenancs and white plug hat,
a young man who was STOPPING over
with u osse-isnifoiu his hand, while =
man In his shirt-sleev6s seemed to DO
experimenting some carving opera
| tons.
"You might think that waa q consul-
tation OF doctors on the remains OF y
violent runaway, but II isn't. They
arc only plugging n watermelon to see
II II Is ripe"
Ii proved to be good ono, and tho
young fellow with the csse-knlfe
Picked II up and started OIL, followed
by the old gentleman with the anxious
countenance.
"Two to one," said the first speaker,
"that he don't carry II u block; ten to
one that no drops IL before no Ia hal I
way home, and 100 to one that no
makes u bad 'broak' coming down the
home stretch" Sure enough, before
the man had gone q block and half,
nursing the melon In his arms like v
baby, there was a"dull thud,"a hoarse
yell, n bad swear and dislocated
melon lying on tho pave, not one seed
upon anothor.
'"Just ~ l expected" said tho wise
man. ~ tell you melons are tricky. 1
had a friend once ,who rode mus.
targs In Mexico and wild steers In
Texas. He thought he had q steady
nutNe huu Cuulu ChrIy huytutuvs Tvs
oil in how you take hold OF them, said
he to me. Il grab tight, this way and
no picked up. a whopping big fellow,
Before he had gone ton steps the whole
thing smashed In his arms, and covered
him with red stuff and juice from
head 10 foot.
"No, II IN all In tho way YOU let 10,
l murmured,"as he rushed for another
melon.
, wConfound Il. I'll show you how,
he Kissed through his teeth, IN no took
ur along fellow and tossed Il angrily
on his shoulder. Away he went again
and l followed, expecting fun. just y,
no turned the corner i saw the ole
melon take oil his ear muir and wink
rhon 1 know 10 was coming. Well
, air, shat melon made spring two foo
in tho air. My friend made q grab TO
IL ind brought 1t down TO the pit o
his stomach. He groaned, and threw
up his hands like no was shot. Tn,
|, melon rolled OIL chuckling into III,
. gutter.
3 "oh, don't tell me about carryin,
J, melons. have seen too many case
, Of blighted lives caused by carryinI
|, melons, never touch them myseli
IL Iwnnt . melon very bad, have |
: brought homo In q dray, and let In
7 driver take his chances -l Mlnsa Doll
: Triouue.