The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-14
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS
Dogma-Parent of puppies.


A grave responsibility-Tre sections.
Goats milk ought to make good but
ter.
Liniments go up as roller skaters come
down.-San Francisco Post.
The success of church choir singer
is, after all, largely matter of chants.
In the bright lexicon of the district
messenger youth there is such word as
snail.-Neoo York journal.
All animals have their good points,
but for abundance of the same none can
compare with the porcupine.
While roller-skating may do we'll in
the spring, one would think it would be
unpopular in the fall. ll.-.Sytings.
The parsons out West think roller
sliding. Courier Journal.
Speaking of spreading ones self, the
skating rink seems to be the place OF all
others to do it successfully.-De Derrick.
There's no trouble about twisting the
tail of sleeping bulldog. The dis
agreeable part comes when you let go.
Shakespeare wasn't broker at all, but
do you know of any man who has fur
nished so many stock quotations9-Bos-
ton Times.
''Can cat come down tree head
frst?" asks writer on natural history.
1t can if the tree is within range of 3
bootjack.
A scientist now declares that the tip
of the nose is the home of the soul. 1t
has certainly often shown where departed
spirits have gone.-Boston Post.
A recent article is entitled "a Poet on
an Editor" We cannot exactly under
stand this, but perhaps he grabbed him
while his back was turned.-B0st0n Post.
An exchange contains long article
which tells how to distinguish perfect
woman. The way to distinguish an i'm
perfect woman is by talking to her
brother.-CdU.
When baseball player strikes out in
attempting not to strike out his feeling
does not show up with half the intensity
of those of the rolIer-skater who fails to
strike out in attempting to strike out
Hatchet.
A writer in Harper's Basar says: "The
ears should be so placed as not to be
higher than the eyebrows or lower than
the tip OF the nose" People who are
dressing for party should not forget
this.-C0lL.
A correspondent says that people in
India are rarely bitten by snakes, as boots
are worn to protect the feet. How diff
ferent it is in this country where people
-B'ooklyn Times.
It is said that the heart of the average
man sends $4,000 pounds of blood
through the arteries every hour. When
a ruffjan threatens to drink your hearts
blood, his eyes are larger than his
stomach. h.-Neao York Graphic.
George Riddle, of Carroll County,
Mo-, has twenty-five daughters. He
lives just on the outskirts of civilization,
and whenever dressmaker locates with
in twenty-five miles he moves further
into the woods. Burlington Free Press.
Mrs. Slapper, of Sumter, Ca, has the
white slippers she wore when she was
married seventy years ago. The fact
that she has preserved them all these
wears is proof that she never used them
to Slapper children.-NorristoUn Herald.
The principal instrument of music in
emma IL tNe COM-COm. ~ PIouuOco o0Co
ter music than piano, and is much
cheaper. Any one can readily make
tom-tom by tying two cats by the tails
and hanging them across clothes-llne.
-Neuman Independent.
In the spring young mans fancy
Lightly turns to thoughts of-Nancy;
But in the summer turns again,
And then his thoughts are all of Jane;
When autumn comes-thrice- tickle man he
Proclaims himself the slave of Fanny;
But soon, these three forgotten quite,
Dear Rose becomes his hearts delight.
Critic.
q "a scientist says that the way to sleep
is to think of nothing" read Mrs.
Smith in newspaper. ''1f that be true,
should say that you would sleep ell the
time, my dear" said her husband. mo
doubt, Mr.. Smith, for l think great
deal of you. ."-Newnsan Independent.