Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-04-23
BRIGHT BITS.

The average man before marriage: IL
GrdDhic Letter. The average man after mar
rage: "i."-AmericdR Edgle.
TEE most ferocious lion qusils when we'll
dressed woman acts as a lion tanner and mauls
him around in a circus cage. He knows how
indigestible hair pins and corset steels are
Fan RiCey Ad5ance.
YALE-''What is the difference between an
idiot and a pretty girl?" Harvard with
alacrity, having just read Lamp0on)-
one is immensely simple and the other is
simply immense. '-BoStOnl Beacon.
''Now. Uncle Gabe, if you have got anything
on your heart, any last will speak out" SAID
the Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter to an old negro
who had only few hours to live.
81 amt got no last wish 'cept dat wants
ter get well. "-ArkGDSdlO TrdUeLsr.
THE height of absurditv in newspaper no.
menclature has been reached in Thomas
county. Kan, where a journal is about to be
launched upon an unfeline world under the
title of the Thomas Cat. 1t will be on the
fence politically.-Neao York World.
,'TD never think of marrying base ball
player. Belief"
''Why, why not, my dear?"
Because, if he didn't reach home in the
morning before the clock struck three times
ia be put out. - Washington HGtchet.
CLAW sAKEs," said old Mrs. Relief, sail
Melinda thinks of now is the skatin' rink.
And she's got so high toned a rOln' round on
them wheels that she can't even go her old
mothers home made bread now. an she talks
all the time about the Dutch rolls they have
up there ."-B0St0n Times.
AT the Police Court: Accused, you are
blindg' Eyes, your honor B." "HOw did you
become blind?" "By a fit ofapOplexy." "Why
then, this picture on your breast representing
an explosion in mine, in which lost your
sght?" ''Please your honor, becau 70 repre-
sent apopleXy painting is powerless. lie
Frd1cdis.
NOT so green as he looked: "See that coun-
try cousin over there by the stove?" inquired
Harlem clerk OF another yesterday as a ru-
raj appearing customer entered and glanced
curiously about the store. Yes, see him.
What of it," watch me take him down.
Say, mister" the cute clerk continued. adj
dressing the supposed greenhorn, 1--WE don't
keep whishy" 'Well, sonny, all I've got to
say is that iS'd save you pile of trav'l ef yer
did" was the prompt reply.-Detr0it Journal
How inuocently unfortunate is the utter
frankness of childhood Young Orotund Dali
sarte, the dramatic reader, was taking tea, on
invitation, with the family, and in the evening
favored the guests with a few of his most
startling recitations. He was approached by
the midget of the family, a fairy in looks, but
with an early development of speech.
NOV, know why. you talk so loud when
you speak pieces" she said to him.
"And why. my dearf' with a little patron
ling stroke OF the golden hair.
"Cause you're Bellowcutionist; ma said
That child will be put to bed early after
this.-Hdrtf0rd Post.
NEWS FROM THE PUN-JoB.-
Oh. ell us what new trouble matches;
Oh print them as fast rs you can,
All those latest Cabul dispatches
From the borderso of Afghanistan!
Does Russia then wish to a Pendieh
Whole country as far as Herat2
And will England really defend the
Frontier? and, oh, where is that at?
Oh. tell us about Abdurrahman:
When Duflerin meets the Ameer
VIII this be effective in calmin'
The excitement about the frontier2
Oh. no, gentle reader, we think not:
Reports from the raging Murghab
Have just been received. and they shrink not
From calling the talk Ameer CAB.
But no one can tell quite for certain
About things in Afghanistan,
Who're the folks are each hour concertin'
Some totally different p an Boston Courier.