Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-22
Quaint Astronomical Studies.


We are told that there has been no
perceptible growth or decay in the
star business since man began to roam
around through space, in his mind,
and make figures on the barn door
with red chalk showing the celestial
time table.
No serious accidents have occurred
in the starry heavens since began to
observe and study their habits. Not
a star has waxed, not a star has waned
to my knowledge. Not a planet has
season-cracked or shown any of the
injurious effects of our rigorous clim-
ate. Not a star has ripened prema-
turely or fallen off the trees. The
varnish on the very oldest stars 1 find
OH close and critical examination to
be in splendid condition. They will
all no doubt wear as long as we need
them, and wink on long after we have
ceased to wink back.
In 1866 there appeared suddenly
in the northern crown star Of about
the third magnitude and worth at
least $3.50. 1t was generally conced-
ed by astronomers that this was a
brand new star that had never been
used, but upon consulting Argelander's
star catalogue and price list was found
that this was not a new star at all,
but an old faded out star of the
ninth magnitude, with the front
breadths turned wrong side out and
trimmed with moonlight along the
seams.
After a few days of phenomenal
brightness it gently ceased to draw
salary as a star of the third magni-
tude and walked home with an "Uncle
Toms Cabin" company.
Then, again. you take a certain
style of star, which you learn from
Prof. Simon Newcomb is at such
distance that it takes $4,000 years
for its light to reach Boston. Now
we will suppose that after looking
over the large stock of new and Sec
ond-hand stars, and after examining
the spring catalogue and price list I
decide that one of the smaller size
will do me and | buy it. How do l
know that was there when / bought
it? Its cold and silent rays may
have ceased $4,000 years before l was
born and the intelligence be still on
the way. There is too much margin
between sale and delivery. Every now
and then another astronomer comes
to me and says: Professor, 1 have
discovered another new star and in.
tend to file it, Found it last night
about mile and half south of the
zenith running loose. Haven't heard
of anybody who has lost star of the
fifteenth magnitude, about thirteen
hands high, with light name and tail,
have your" Now, how do l know
that he has discovered a brand new
star? How can ! discover whether
he is or not playing an old threadbare
star on me for a new one'
1t is surprising that every little
while contemplate Withdrawing
from scientific research to 60 and skin
an eight-mule team down through
the dim vista of relentless years.
There is much in the great field of
astronomy that is discouraging to the
savant who hasn't the time nor means
to rummagc around through the heav-
ems. At times l am almost hopeless,
and feel like saying to the great
yearnful, hungry world: "GrOpe on
forever. Do not ask me for another
scientific fact. Find it out yourself.
Hunt up your own new-laid planets,
and let me have a rest. Never ask
me again to sit up all night and take
care of a newborn world while you
lie in bed and reck not. S'io ?
1 get no salary for examining the
trackless void night after night when
l ought to be in bed. l sacrifice my
health in order that the public may
know, at once, Of the presence of
red-hot comet, fresh from the factory.
And yet, what thanks do l get?-Bill
Nye, in st. Paul Herald.
UTha fnunhaet cusfap,arI oyar shaw