Sun River sun. [volume] (Sun River, Mont.) 1884-1885, 1885-04-09
THE GAG OF THE SEASON.
How the rlidiaites Got Il Onto Sun
Riycr-.-Tne Richest April Fcol
.. OH Record.

/
In your last issue we notice the dcsc,ip.
tion of mysterious individual found
"iloatngdown the Missouri" From the
most reliable information obtainable re-.
garding til" discovery, capture and final
execution Of the unknown, it appears that
Joe Standley, rcrryman at this place, dis.
covered dark Object floating down tie
river which in appearance seemed to be o
human body, and which after much difl.
Guilty he towed ashore.
His Honor Judge Harris Of tho Chest.
nut bench being absent and no other
qualified officer comcatable the citizens Of
Clidia decided to tow the body 10 the
Lewis and Clarke county side, and for
this purpose n committee was appointed,
with instructions to anchor the body 10 n
bush. After having done the fair thing
with the corpse, y telephone dispatch was
sent TO Coroner Burchcr, Of Sun River.
who responded that he would bc ON hand
the following morning.
Morning came, and rs the slautlng rays
of the rising sun kissed the muddy bosom
Of the turbulent Missouri, the good citi.
zcns Of Ulidia crossed over to see II tho
corpse had rested we'll during the night,
and 10 do what was necessary In the way
oi repairs before the arrival OF the Sun
River delegation.
AT 0:30 DR.. Newman arrived in great
haste, carrying one hand his N, y. diplo.
ma and In tho other his kit Of surgical In.
struments, and ut once asked whether DR..
james had secured the body Being In.
formed that his application was first, he
seemed the happicst Of mortals as he re.
marked, "I'll get those four bonss now,
and don't you forget IT,"
A short time after the arrival Of the doc.
tor, Coroner Burclisr, Commissioner Ella,
Rev. j. NJ. Largcnt aud John w. Nixon
arrived and crossed over to the store.
Having presented their credentials they
were assigned to duty us follows: W.P
Burchcr to hold inquest; John j. Ellis,
commissioner, to protect the interests Of
Lewis and Clarke county and allow no ex.
travngance in the funeral expenses, to
which end he Immediately began quarrel.
ing with Joe Bicket and Jack Dyas about
the cost Of the coffin and argued that .
rough box was plenty good enough. Nix.
Oh was appointed delegate. at.lsrge and
made committee Of one upon refresh.
mcnts and was faithful 10 the last Rev.
Largcnt suddenly feeling indisposed was
relieved OF oil further responsibility.
mmunicatiOns were then read from VIM
NJ. Wyatt, John Largent and other promi.
ncnt citizens of Sun River expressing
deep regret at their inability to he present.
At2p. III. all arrangements being com.
plete, the entire congregation passed over
the Missouri to do the. last square thing
man can do for his fellow being. The
coroner haying satisfied his mind regard.
Ing certain points Of law, sworc in q jury
and ordered the body to he removed from
the water and placed at his feet upon the
bank. While the body WAS being dragged
up the bank Thurston said: "Boys, l SEQ
II label on his breast-hc was hung by the
yigilantcs."
The body being placed as directed, faco
downward, the coroner took hold Of mn
arm and turned 1t over; and judging from
appearances, must have recognized in the
white upturned face and sighiless eyes,
the countcnancc of departed friend, and
bent over the inanimate form with uncx.
pressed feelings and u look never to be
forgotten. The verdict:
An inquest holden this Is, day Of April,
1885, over the body of II supposed dcfunct
human, there lying quiet Mt the landing
OF the Ciidia ferry in Lewis and Clarke
county, Territory of Montana, find upon
recommendation ot several prominent
citizens there present thar the said body
is to all intents and purposes devoid OF
life, and Is in other words dead. Cpon
examination Of the body we find il COZ 3.
posed entirely OF hay, covered with hu.
man apparel. Complexion fair composed
of fine muslin; eyes black, nlado OF coal
tar; mustache and chin whiskers, brindle,
made of oakum. The peculiar odor Is
caused by Limberg cheese found In the
ham pocket. A large label attached to
the breast tells us that his name was
APRIL Fool, and we believe that hs came
to his death by having been born to this
world on tue first dag OF the fourth month,
A. y. 1855.
JOHN p. DYAs, Foreman.
JNO. ]. ELLIS, Commissioner.
J.B. NEWMAN, NJ. d.
J. w. NIXON, Refreshments.
THos l.. GoRMAM, Schomer.
GEO. W. BIcKErT, Schemer.
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A Live journal.
The Montana Live Stock Journal has
completed the initial year Of its publica.
ton and is now on tho high road to un.
bounded wealth. influence and SIGH. We
trust that this excellent publication may
prosper for years without number, aud
when ut last 1t Is called upon to turn lts
toes up to the rising sun, its patrons may
all say, swell done. thou true and faithful
servant