Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1885-05-23
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM PARA.
Disc HALL.

$500 80
ERVy steals into the Quiet Meeting Room,
and Three Prominent Nembers Lose
sbetr Positions.
The excitement which has prevailed
among certain OF the older members OF
the club came to a climax Saturday
evening. What occasioned the excite
nsnt was kept a profound secret among
a dozen, but it may be stated here that
the rumpus was kicked mp by Prof.
Sunfower Smythe, a local member with
q harelip and toes turning in.
feT some weeks past the professor has
Aaotered for a. official position, and
telling to secur recognition of his mer-
its, he organized a conspiracy to de.
throne Brother Gardner. By circulat-
'Eg many false statements, and by forg-
ing Che names Of several individuals TO
RAISE documents, he enlisted the sympa-
thies Of Elder Anthony Swift, Deacon
COhort Davis and Judge Cut-Of KEN
perberry. He approached HuckIcberry
Tompkins with the plan, and even went
80 far as TO offer him a new iftv-cent
door-mat to join the conspiracy, but
Brother TOmpkins was true blue, and
gave the whole affair away.
When the meeting was called to order
>he three conspirators were in their
seats, entirely unsuspicious of the sand
club which was hanging over their
heads, while the president, Sir Isaac
Walpole, Waydown Bebee, and others
IN the ring, carried very serious counte-
2anccs. The plot of the cons p~irators
was not yet fully ripe. Prof. Smythe
waa just settling himself down to sound
Elder Toots IN the matter, when
Brother Gardner rose up and said:
Envy am de percent Of half de wick
edness in dis world. One of de fust
principles OF human natur' am to be-
grudge some odder pusson's good luck,
but de mint common sense am called in
fur consultation dis envy disappears
except in isloated cases.
eve envy de rich, while it am p'raps
our own fault entirely dat VIZ am not
classed among 'em.
owe envy talent, an yet we am
fo'oed to acknowledge to ourselves dat
we frew away our opportunities.
Find me a man who am down on his
fellowman on glnaral principles an III
show We a chap who orter be III State
Prison by de same rule.
Ode Lawd put us heah fur each to
make his own way. De field am world
wide, wild plenty of room fur all. If one,
by his applicashun, perseverance,, in
tegrlty an determination, towers above
de one who waits fur luck an feeds his
soul on envy, any conspiracy to pull him
down should be sot down on bv all
good men. Brudders Smythe, Swift
an Davis, | should like to see de three
of you at de foot OF the grand staircase.
Oar am a leetle matter dat I wish to
discuss in private.
The trio OF consplrators were evidently
greatly surprised at the request, but
suspected nothing and followed the
President down stairs. As no one else
was permitted to follow, it may never
he known what happened on the land
ing. What the meeting heard may,
however, throw some general light upon
the subject.
|. Yells of terror.
2. Sounds of heels striking the walls.
). Sounds of cloth being ripped and
torn, and boot heels striking the fence
OF the other side of the alley.
4. Bump-kerchuuk-thud-dec ST.
lence.
s.. The echoes of the toe of q No. l3
boot striking against coat tails.
Soon after these aforementioned sounds
had died away Brother Gardner entered
the room with q sweet smile on his face.
and walked straight to his seat without a
word. There WAS blood on his left ear.
the polish was worn off his right boot.
and one end of his collar was unbut-
toned, but this might have happened to
any man who had fallen down stairs.
''Misser President, shall I cross de
three names Off lie book % asked the
Secretary.
DE Char reckons YOU may" vas the
answer, IAN We will now take up lie
regular bill O fare"
Took Them All In.