Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-21
NOVEL STATISTICS.
Facts Gathered by a Reader of Light
Literaturs-Heroes who Have Parted
From Heroines Forever One Hundred
and One Times.

grown over four of these; in the remain
ing cases it has grown green. The others
have ended miscellaneously. AS compared
with past years the rate Of mortality Is
low. When, some years ago, ] first ON
tered upon these inquiries consumption
was very prevalent in novels, and the
hectic flush usually appeared as early as
the third chapter. Although there is some
heart disease, our heroiues are improving
in health. and they marry earlier now.
IL is slack Week that does not make
wives Of half "A dozen herOnes ia the
first 90 paEes. and I'm one case in five
the lady starts as "A wife and heroine
simultaneously. In A. cases mothers
have been tried with very good re-
suits They have had H. children be
tween them, ranging in age from one cal
endar month to eight wears, and be has
rescued seventy-one OF then rom a watery
grave. Twelve OF the original hus bands
OF these herOines have persisted by railroad
accidents, three have been discovered 10
be bigamists, seven have found q note on
the drawing-r0om table that explained
everything, and the remaining seventy
five are really the men she loves, though
she did not know IL all the time. These
heroines promise we'll for the coming sea
son.
Against 90 blondes there have been 100
bruuettes, an unusually large number.
While the health average is instinctiyely
higher than in former years, fraVlllty and
delicacy continue marked. Broad, low
brows are in great favor, and II is re-
mark8ble circumstance that iu seven
eases out OF ten the mouth is little too
large. In fact, of these j63 ladies as
many as 49, have not been beautiful in
the strict meaning Of the term; but with
a very few inc0nsiderable exceptions,
they had something irresistible about
them. and this something is unusu-
ally explained by pert little
noses turned up the thousandtb
part Of an inch. \ good nose is thus
no longer what it was. The something
has also a close connection with dimples,
and in the rare cases in which these are
neither maddening nor bewitching they
intOXicate. seven hundred and nirety-
two ears have been shell-like, the remain
der rosy. There have been over l.000
almOnd-shaped eyes, Of which 6l2 have
had dreamy look and Sc have flashed
fire: while the latter were flashing 81 he
rOines drew themselves up. 1t is remark
able how these statistics fuctuate. In
1873 the shelllike ear, which stood as
high as sos, fell to 1872 and rose again in
1880 to ia.
THE RIPE, RED LIPS REMAIN STATIONARY,
But the almond eyes are extremely yaria-
Bile. ] have known them a drug.
Rarely has the heroine been created
who, being herself tan and slender had
neither a sister nor friend who is small
and plump. Where, however, the heroine
inclines 10 enbOnpoiDt, as she has done
eighty-three times this season. the foil. OF
course, has 70 suffer, losing as much flesh
as the other gains. 1t does not seem
probable that the plump heroine will ever
drive her more slender rival from sthe
field; but she is doing well at balls, and
the best nOvelists have never lost faith in
her. With Dickens she was a decided IA
vorite; she bad a great time in the
NaVerly novels and is still much al
mired in the Emerald Isle. To get salts
faction at q ball is more thaa might be
hastily supposed: for the herOines
OF the past season have each spent,
on an average, hve-eighths OF
volume at them. She may look
pale under the lurid glare of the
lamps. or wear but simple dress Of
white; she may even risk a rival as beau
tiful as herself, but there is one thing che
cannot do without. She must have finely
rounded arms. Four hundred and odd
tunes This year she and he have been the
admiration OF the ballroom. and it has
struck o6l assemblages on seeing them
together that they are made for each
other. Fifty-six times she has tainted at
the ball in her lovers arms: 70 times
EE HAS TURNED HAUGHTILY ON HIS
HEEL
(This requires practice and left her; III
times has he gone with her into the con-
seryatory to propose, l02 Of these declara-
tons being observed by dark figure
AGAINST the window, and 10 all but seven
OF these cases he has omitted TO say that
II his wife knew she might not like it. II
you have any difficulty in fixing on his
hero. ne is always dislinguishable by his
habit OF holding the heroine's hand mo-
ment longer than is absolutely neces-
sary.
He has smoked beneath her window 12t
times and ia shadows have passed upon
the blind. In every case it has been she.
A hundred and seven times il has been
warm night, and as she opened her win
dow and gaZed into the darkness her
beautiful figure was displayed to the best
advantage. He thought she was indeed
an ethereal creature. She had sighed "a
times, and asked herself what could this
be. Twice ont OF three times she had
wondered if u was love, thrilling at the
question. Seyenty-three times he has
seen the folly, the madness Of his pas
sion, and has called at her fathers
house to bid them farewell. Half an
hour has almost invariably been the time
that is to elapse before he starts for India (;
and when be turned his face IN the direc-
ton Of our great dependency, she called
him by his Christian name fOrty-twO
times, placed her hand upon her heart
sixty-one times. and flung herself with a
wild cry at his Dos IN nineteen times. In
seventy-hve cases IL he had turned round
when be reached the door this novel
would never have been written. Four
teen times be has hesltated on the TIRES
hold with his hand on the door, but moth
Ing has come Of 10.
He had gathered her up in his arms III
times: here
TIE PLUMP ONES ARE AT DIsADYAN-
TAGE.
Folded her against his breast ninety-seyen
times, drawn her TO him seventy-four
times, taken her head between his hands
lO2 times, frightened his hold Of her little
waist eighty times, strained her 10 his
heart ninety times, and plucked one
burning kiss from her lips ah. how II
burned into her soull) before parting
with her forever, l0l.times. In the great
majority Of cases, when they next
meet he "a very cold and formal.
and she filings herself upon her bed
aud asks what II means. She cannot
mako IL ont; but the reader generally
can. Either be had been persuaded by
bis married sister 10 engage himself 10
Natt Ia a "a Ia f.s4..