St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-04-25
W. G. KENTZEL. Editor
CONVICTION, ST. TAMMANY PARISH, La. APRIL 25 1885.

Mrs. Van Highton glanced over her
friends tablet and read long list of
engagements-''Caw bord meetins;
fust anniversary of the Society for Indig-
nant Femails,n etc.
(..Indignant temails! laughed Mrs.
Van Highton to herself; but she said,
sweetly:
''You are q marvel of industry and
an angel of benevolence. You realize
Wadsworth's ideal
"A perfect woman. nobly planned.
To warn to counsel and command;
But with q spirit always bright
With something of an angels light
How can you accomplish so much? l
blush to own that the two or three
minor charities in which am interested
in a quiet way are more than can find
time for
"Your quiet way isn't my style" re-
turned Mrs. Newrich, with some show
of temper. 'You 60 into charities with
smellin'-bOttle at your nose. and take
hold of things only with the tips of your
kid-gloved fingers. Now, pitch light
in"
("You learned that when pitching
into the washtub,'') remarks Mrs. Van
Highton, soto roce: but she speaks
audibly, and with shrug:
.How can lady of your refined,
sensitive nature endure such close con-
tact with the lower orders?"
"'T amt pleasant. l own." replies
Mrs. Newrich, mollifed. ..But when /
do things, l do 'em with a vim; don't t
enthuse over the lower orders; / dom t
help 'em from q sense of duty; but
works of charity is all the style: l like
to have my name in the newspapers as
director of this, that and the other, and
leadin' off with the biggest subscrip-
tion."
"Your candor is refreshing. Is this
q common sentiment with you lady
philanthropists?
mo, won't say it is. Many of our
lady workers for the poor and sufferin'
seems to have a fearful symperthy for
'em. But I think charity orter begin
and end to home. Uriah says, We're
got along; why shouldn't other folks?' :"
'.And when he hears all this fine talk
about orphans" adds Mrs. Van High
ton, with slight uplifting of the eye
that he is an orphan himself
That's so! . orfin from boyhood,
and made his way hissef with no thanks
to nobody. Why shouldn't he keep his
money? We don't ask no favors. Why
should we give 'em? l wish all these
low-down folks whose wants is bein'
continually dinged inter our ears could
be sent off ter live in some country by
themselves, and we be well rid of 'em. ="
'You wish, in fact" quoted Mrs. Van
Highton, with her usual felicity, ''that
they might have.
"Some sweet little isle Of their own.
In the blue rolling ocean, far OF and alone"
The idea is an original one, and proves
your genuine kindness of heart. J"
("What a horrid, hateful, hideous. self
ish. cold-blooded, inhuman monster"
''You seem to have a rhyme appropus
to every occasion, and that's tip-top
one, whoever writ it. The most on
bearable thing about these people is
their airs. They can't be teached to
keep their places. Why, I've had 'em
say right to my face: I'm jest as good
as you ber'
('.And why in the name of all that is
good and gracious are they not?') pa
renthesizes Mrs. Van Highton, as she
exclaims, with disdainful air: "As
good as you! What pre-pos-ter-ous
idea!'
s.Have you heerd about our new libre-
rary?" asks Mrs. Newrich. 1.-The
learnedest and biggest ever brought to
this city. Full of vocabullaries in all
languages, and all sorts of high-up. out
landish books, such as nobody ever
thinks of readin'."
"How delightful! choice library is
"A thing of beauty and a joy forever!'
A sure token of culture" C"Vocabul-
laries. indeedr')
That's the way Serafiny talks, but
her par says he don't 60 cent on cul-
tur. Itineraries is the fashion. and
shows that folks has means. That's
why he wanted one. But what am /
thinkin' about-dilly-dallying here,
when I've so much to do? To see a
body bum about as do, you'd think
she'd got cast-iron constitution. But
RELY. I'm very delicate.
Yes. / have always thought SO,
says Mrs. Van Highton. sympathetical-
ly. Your strong, active mind con-
trolls your delicate organization. You
have a reserve force of energy and en-
thusiasm." CAN ethereal creature of
two hundred pounds avoirdupois! She
looks as if a Whit of wind might blow
her away as if she might
Die of q rose in aromatic pain-'D
Il must CO." says Mrs. Newrich.
"Why, sure's you live. the clock is
a-strikin' twelve. Who'd a thunk it
was SO late? l shall have ter hurry up
ter git home by lunch time"
.'Why not stop and lunch with me-?
DO stay, it would make me SO happy"
pleads Mrs. Van Highton with a mental
III do hope she won't. l suppose she
eats with her knife. and her table man
ners are generally atrocious.
mo, thanks. We have company to
home, and besides all the rest I've got
to do, l must dress and help Uriah
dress, for a swell party this evenin'.
That man hates all sorts Of high society.
and fashionable parties is his perfect
abomination.
$50 agreeable a gentleman as your
hpsbz6d ought not to absent himself
from the circles he adorns," replies
Mrs. Van Highton, in dulcet accents,
which, if they uttered her real thoughts,
would change their tone and say con-