St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-12-10
NOT DOWN IN THE BILLS.
The Curious Things TO BE Seen i'm a
Theater Not Oh the Stage.

Theater Not Oh the Stage.
''The man who wrote Love laughs at
bolts and bars had the subject about down
to cases" said flip young usher of South
side theater last night. HE might have
played the string out and said that love
laughs at pretty much every sort of circum-
stance you can drag into the game. | see
good many funny things in that line here
right along. Soft young couples are always
making exhibitions of themselves in theaters.
Some way they seem to think that no
bOdy'll watch 'em when they steal caress,
and guess people in general don't, because
they're too busy watching the play, but
they overlook us fellows who see the play
every night till it makes us ache. We
always have our eyes open for side shows,
and we see good many. That's about all
that makes this business tolerable.
The other night | seated a couple of
young fools down there on the left side of
the circle, and the minute l saw 'em | had
'em sized up as cOoerS. The fellow was
about q and rather gOod-lookipg-dark
compiexioned, smooth, cleal-cut face and
dressed away up. The girl was the dain-
test little -and-cream blonde you
ever saw, and looked as clipper as glass
Of red lemonade. Her nose had a little bit
of tip-up at the end that made her look as
saucy as a Mackinaw boat.
well, they nestled down together as coy
as you please, and he folded up program
for her with a tenderness that struck me as
being pretty. Then he leaned away over
on the arm of her chair and began to pour
his verbal honey into her pretty, she'll
like ear as the gusherS always call
'em. They'd look at each other in way
that made me warm. and then
they'd kind of chuckle and laugh at some
thing that had been said, like
pair of turtle-doveS. By-and-by he
sneaked his hand down over the chair-arm
and gave her hand little squeeze. and
looked around to see if any one was onto
him. She blushed and said something to
him which | reckOned was a protest. but he
only kind of looked around again and
squeezed it again, and then they both snick-
cred to think how nice they were foOling all
those people around 'em. watched 'em for
an hour and half. and they didn't break
that grip once. Amt that pretty serious?
Along toward the end of the show he made
a break to slide his arm along the back OF
her chair. but she made stand right there
and made him take right down. They
didn't see much of the show. for they were
looking right bang into each others eyes
all the time. and didn't seem to care
whether the curtain was up or down. Oh.
it's just about as good as having a girl your
self to watch the lovers that come here.
But the matinee is where the girls come
out in their finest. One Saturday when
Modjeska was playing Camille happened
down the aisle just after the old duck. Ar
mandc's pa, made all the trouble between
Camille and Armand The curtain had just
gone down on the young chump tearing his
hair, when l heard a couple of girls-school
girls, guess-talking it over. Mean old
thing" one of EN- said, with her eyes full of
tears. | just wish he'd died so do l. said
the other, I hate himr and she said it as
though she meant it just as it laid. 1 COM
menced to smoker to hear 'em turning the
poor old snoozer over, and they came back
to earth with a thump and looked very
sheepish. / reckon they wouldn't have
felt as bad if they'd seen Armand and his
dad Ginning each other in the wings like
two old cronies. l tell you, girls enjoy
plays for all they're worth if they haven't
got some fellow with 'em; but they usually
prefer the fellow to the play. accord
ing to my observations. The ladies
like to come to the matinees with
out gentlemen, because, you see, they have
a better chance to throw their whole soul
into their eyes when they gaze at the best
man on the stage, and they are all gone
on some one usually. 1t is astonishing
how many girls get mashed on the stage
hands. especially on opera singers. l hear
'em go out wasting whole tons of sweetness
on their favorites every performance 1t
makes me wish sometimes could sit on a
horse and sing myself. Check, sir?"