The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-03
THE DYED BEARD.
FrAroasA Mail Masasins.,


 A man with naturally pink or old gold beard, or one with facial head of hair tha. has become hleached by the accumulated dews ot years of piety, may command public regard. but when he dyes his beard. he ceases to be an object of human esteem. He efAllS from bis ped. estal and his chin disappears in the mlre of popular sickness at the public stum. Ach. He fails rom hts proud position as favoEite of curiosity to the iEnohle con. di,ion of walking emesic.
 lt is a mistake to attempt to set nature back twenty or thirty years or ges ahead of it by ten or fifteen years by the use oi tannic acid and nitrate cf silver in solu. ton, aud the man who does so is bound to sooner or later become an object of general irony. When on Saturday even. iug he emerHes from the office oi hair carpenter wi,h shining black beard and red or Aaxen hair, the ohservAns multi- tude cannot help thinking that his face is not iu harmony with the rest of his head, and that one ot these days his whis- kers will be detected in some sort oi mis- chief by the roach pasted dosn over his already narrow brow aud be delivered up to justice. IL a man has the misfortune to own a head of coat.htack hair and a beard of shimmer,ng moonlight, he IS ex- Cusable tor trying to average up his ap- pearance, but when both his hair and beard are white with birth or long stand- ,ng and he dopes his beard into rank an- 1 tagoaiSm with his complexion. he creates the same impression he would he likely to create if he were to borrow set ot stencils and print the words: 1 am a blamed fool" in flaming letters across his ouigtng brow,
 There is something deeply pathetic in the efforts ot callow youth to force the baccill. on his lipto gcrminate and bloom firth into fiercely raging mcusiache. lt always reminds me of the efforts of the sower to m ake seed grow in stony ground. and then he thinks his moustAcha has ar. rived when il Is away down the load, and rubs some dye on the place whore he ex- poets IL to locate, and in about two weeks, when 1t begins to tcAle of, he looks as il somebody had struck him ou the suoss with handful of trcckles and stuck some of them fast. The deIuded seeker after hair then slaves of his ireckles and goes about smiling broadly and expecting people to remark upon his odd appear snce, when he will proudly tell them that he has shaved otf his moustache, and in about ten years they will discover that perhaps he did not lie to them in inlimat- ing that he had one.
 When the full grown man dyes hlA beard to make him look young. however, he becomes standing rebuke to himself l ..<1s Gaka 1 when he comes out ot the shop where they njavena,ed him, but by Sunday evening there Is short section oi white next to the skin on every hair. and in about twelve minutes the young lady he ia trying to deceive, will stroke his whis. kers and examine them closely. and thea get the Sulks and go to flirting with the man al the window across the street while he gets mad and feels neglected because she does not notice him when hc winks at her He never for moment thinks ,ha, his white eyebrows have an insincere look about them 10 Whicn he calls her at ten,ion by winkinR, and when she holds him ut arm length Rt parting and laughs in his face when he says:
 My darling, am dying for kiss he canno, yell avoid feeling that she is inclined to believe him.
 k must make man with an as,ihcially colored beard feel peculiarly sad to hear the queen of his heart and angel of his soul, besides the life of his love and the sugar of his existence remark as she runs her eye along the borders of his beard:
 My love. the best thing you can do is to hunt out cool, sequestered spot and dye" l, must rack his being with feas that, while she may no, wish to be entire. Iy rid of him, she would prefer to have him come to her in the more attractive form of consistent and well behaved