davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-07-26
LIME, CEMENT. &c.

. 900 BARRELS FRESH ROCK
E.OOO LAND LINE Just arrived per
schooner HI. Lawmeyer:
lSO4 barrels Fresh ROCkLAND LIME
daily expected per schooner Speed
well.
In stock. VIRGINIA LIME; ROSEN-
DALE, JAMES RIVER, and Imported
PORTLAND CEMENfS; CALCINED aud
AND PLASTER; HAIR, FlRE-BRlCkS
I.ATHS, SASH. BLINDS and DOORS; and
all other BUILDING MATERIALS fOr sale
low by ROBERT WENDENbU re,
No. sos Main and l407 and 1909 Cary
streets. Jy 26.lw
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-07-26
TUESDAY AND SATUR-e-n-,
DAY MOONLlGHTS.
DUTCH GkP.
STEAMER ARIEL.

every TUESDAY and SATURDAY NIGHT.
Leave 1870 Z. VI. Return 1890 T.. VI.
III gagemcnt OF Miss bora Dcnlier Mr.. u. l..
IeftWlch. and Professor Thllow lu cou-
cert NOelkcr's Rand. Music
Dancing. and Refreshments
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-07-26
TO MASHINGTON.

EXCURSION To WASHINGTON,
II MONDAY NIGHT AUGUST = 1855.
Train leaves tlba y.3O T. NJ. returning.
leaves Warrington Tuesday Al $50 T.. VI.
Fourteen hours I'm Washington. Round
nip 10 Washington. 81; round trip 10
fredericksburg. 81. Go. rain or shine.
Tickets for sale 10y J. h. Lambert. 9O2 Main
street: j. NJ. Thompson. k05 Broad street
J. l.. Beverage. Brook avenue and Clay
street ~ 2y.zB.ZsAu2
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-07-26
an CRAn srrrER

Street-cars connect both going and re-
turning. Delight al family excursions. Per-
feet order. 80 improper persons allowed.
gentlemen. SOC. ladies and ~ iiireu. Ijc.
" g-Im VIRGINIA STEA MBOAT co.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Grants Father-in-Law.

Mr.. F. T.. Dent, the father of the
wife of Gen. Grant, died at the white
house on the 18th of December, 1873,
surrounded by his children. He was
a genial gentleman, 88 years of age, and
the frequenters of the white house after
he became the guest of his son-in-law
had generally found him seated in the
reception-room, the center of a pleas
ant group of conversationalists, all at
tracted to him by his good nature and
large fund of information. He was full
of anecdotes of western life, and SEEM
ed always ready to instruct or amuse
his auditors. He was much beloved in
St. Louis, near which city was his
country place. He lived in the old
fashioned style OF keeping open house
for friends and neighbours His hospi-
tally was noted. He was never en-
gagged in political life except in his own
neighborhood, where he was always
called upon to preside at political
meetings. He was always a stanch
democrat, and boosted that he had vot-
ed for every democratic president since
he attained his majority except Buchan-
an, of whom, for some reason, he did
not approve. He almost invariably
came to Washington to attend presi-
dental inaugurations. An uncle of
Mr.. Dent was member of congress
from Maryland, and gave the casting
vote when the election of Jefferson was
carried into the House. Mr.. Dents re-
mains were carried to St. Louis for in
terment. escorted bv Gen. Grant and
his family.-Ben: Perley Poorc.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
He Never Came Again.

INA and IT, she said shyly, ''are
more like sisters than mother and
daughter
"Yes?" he said, with lingering in
Election on the afterguard of the yes,
which rose clear to the ceiling.
Yes, indeed said the girl, the rosy
flush on her cheeks making her infinite
~ more beautiful than ever. MA and
l are inseparable. We have never been
separated single day since I. was ALT
tic BABY
s'N-no?" he said, this time with an
infection on the second section of no
that went only half way to the ceiling
and back again.
"Oh, dear no. the girl went on in
her artless way, land ma and always
said that when was married she was
going to love my husband like her own
son, and come and keep house for
u.s.
''Oh-h?' William said, with a cir
cumtlex. Then he rose up slowly and
firmly and said that he had note in
bank to take up at 3 o'clock, and as it
was now $3.50 he would 20. And he
did go. And he didn't come back
again. Not never. And ma said to
the girl:
'That's where you missed it in not
1ully trusting your mother. Why didn't
you tell me that man had been married
before? Had known he was wild
over would have played the Home
for old women racket on him. BUR-
dette IN Brooklyn Eagle.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
A Young Husbands Woes.

"A welcome home? Well, yes
rather, +" said a newly-married man
who was receiving the congratulations
of his bachelor comrades yesterday al
one of the fashionable clubs. Eyes,
he continued in contemplative tone
"a warmer welcome than anticipated
I never knew before what married
man has to endure. Do you know thai
when fellow gets married he becomes
the victim of an army of agents, can.
vassers and all such cheeky cattle,
and they never let up till the honey
moon is over?
''Fannic and I got back from the
wedding tour Friday night. We drove
straight home, counting on a quiet
evening together, for the cards, you
know, didn't announce us at home
until Monday. AS I entered the vesti.
! bule, stumbled over pile of pam
| phlets, circulars and catalogues as high
as tea chest. We walked around them
and went into the library. My desk
was buried under mountain of SINH
! lar trash.
:" Phase, sur said the hired girl,
pointing to the hillock in the vestibule,
'thim's what's come to-day. If I'd
knowed yez was comm home airly, Ia
have lugged 'em outen the way afore
yez came. There's ben regular per-
cession av men and byes a'pokin' 'em
under the door all day
II looked over few of the things be-
fore pitched them into the CRATE.
There were twelve catalogues and
| price-]ists from furniture-dealers, seven
dry-goods and millinery advertisements
addressed to my wife, cards from three
rival bakers, two paper books describ-
ing burglar alarms, one illustrated cat
alogue of baby coaches, four ANIMALS
published by insurance companies,
and circular announcing that in a
few days Mr.. Somebody would call
with copy of The HOUSEWIFE
Friend" a compilation of choice re-
cipes, together with a thousand and
one domestic hints invaluable to the
inexperienced housekeeper
"You may laugh, but even found a
lawyers card, inscribed: Legal bust
ness attended to promptly and without
publicity Do you suppose the scoun-
drel thought I'd want a divorce before
inc emu Oh the honeymoon! But that
isn't all. We were swindled out of
our quiet evening, too. Can imagine
how they found out we'd rea ;hed home
but three polite insurance agents call
ed, one after another, before 10 clock.
Two of them were life insurance men,
and each tried to picture to me what a
horrible thing it would be for me to
die and leave wifc-and perhaps a
child-unprovided for, and how likely
was to die instantly. The third was
a fire insurance man, who wanted to
take risk on everything in the house
before we had time to sleep. From tho
way he pictured the horrors of fire
you might have thought we were living
in powder-mill. l got mad finally
and told him to 60 to the devil. Well,
six more bores called on Saturday.
Then ! broke down, and to-day came
to the club to get away from them.
Take my advice, boys, and when you
get married don't put it in the paper. !"
Philadelphia Times.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Rather Late.

Several belated pedestrians on Mad
lson street were surprised last night to
see an old man standing in front of a
gorgeous saloon and inviting everybody
in to drink.
Come, boys" he said, ..this is about
the last call. Walk right in and help
yourselves. 1t don't cost anything.
The news is too almighty glorious for
any use. I'm celebrating as nobody in
my family ever celebrated before.
what is it that you are celebrat-
ing?' asked a thinly clad old man who
had gone in twice, and with his coat
collar up was trying to ring in once
more.
''Why, the Democratic victory,
Where've you been, you Hottentot?
Haven'tyou heard the news? Jim
Blaine beat and old Cleveland elected.
If my old father was here there
wouldn't nobody sleep in this town to-
night
Cleveland was elected three months
ago. said policeman who came out
wiping his mouth. you're little be-
hindhand, old man."
The stranger looked dazed, explain
cd that he had just come in from the
mountains of Yuma County, Arizona,
and that he had only heard the newp
by accident that afternoon"
Gentleman" he continued, II want
to do everything decent and in order.
Ii this here glorious triumph has been
properly celebrated in this town we'll
quit. Three months ago, Ell? That's
mighty close call on me- If I don't
hump myself there won't be an office
left. - Chicago Herald.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Notice Of Sherif'S Sale Cd
Execution.

ny virtue Q, an execution issued out of and nm
der the seal of the District court Of the OH I,ai
ci'i dis'Iict IN ana fer the county of Brown and
state OF Minnesota, upon a judgment entnrad
rem Tered ana dockced in the said court nm ~
23d DAY OF December A d. 1884, in an actinn
wherein Iy Daniel Dingler is plaintff and william
Jacob Hoescheler as partners as Kiesl,ng Keler :,
Co" defendants, in favor Of the said pIain,iff anS
against the said defendants for he sum Of Eonr1
teen Hundred thirty five dollars and col,, w! :
(Sl435. 3d. have this s:h uav of ,I,nHory .en,s
1855, levied upon all the undivided part or mole, -
owned oy each OF the above defendants william
K n Henry Keller aud Rudolph kieslInr in
the following described premises To VII. 90 Az
mencing twenty five fee north 3lH d.pree a.
from ire north-eascrly corner OF Lot 10 = ~
Block No. 6G south Of Centre street in The ;. -.
New olm according to the new map thereof as the
same appears OF record in the office of Repstar ~
Deeds III said Brown county; where No.. ".
street and the alley of said block No. 6G for, q
Jun ;ton, thence north 3i4 degrees west, one hmm.
urHa torty rect, thence south 555 degrees west DE-
rallel with centre street, one hundred feet
south 3419 degrees east one hundred fortv feat
theme north 554 degrees east one hundred sest ~
the place OF beginning. Also lot No 5 of block
said new plat of said city of New Tim. filed and md
of record as aforesaid, said premises living and ha
ing in this county of Brown 7 anu NC
No:ice Is hereby given that | vii! sell tho eaid
undivided part or moety OF the said defendan,s
William Kiesling Henry Keller and RudnInb
klesllng IN and to the said above described nra.
misses 10 the hlehest bidder, for Cash at public
auction q: the front door of the Court house in
the city or New Ulm, in the county OF Brown and
state OF Minnesota on the 9Th day Of March 4 n
lsso at the hour OF ten O'Clock in the forenoon o
that day, to satisfy the said execution. toretber
with the Interests and costs thereon.
The said premises subject to REDEMPTION at an
time within one year from the day OF sale "A nrt
vided by law 80 H''
Dated January Sth A. u. 1885,
john b. ScHM1D.
Sheriff of Brown County, Ninn.
LIND HAGBERG Attys, New Ulm slinn
March 5 *
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
An Extraordinary Offer.
To All Wanting Employment.

We want Live, Energetic and Capable Agents in
every county in the United States and Canada, to
sell patent article of great merit, ON ITS MER.
ITS. An article having large sale, paying over
which the agent is protected in the exclusive sale
by deed given for each ind every county he may
secure from us. With all these advantages to our
agents, and the fact that it is article that
cessary to make an 'sextraordinary otfer'' to Sc
cure good agents at once, but we have concluded
to make it to show, not only our confidence in the
merits of our invention, but in its STABILITY by
any agent that will handle it with energy. Our
agents now at work are making from $3.50 to 5000
month Gle n, and this fact makes it safe for us
to make our offer to all who are out of employ
ment. An agent that will give our business a
thirty days. trial and fail to clear at least 500 in
this time above all expenses can return all goods
for them. Any agent or General Agent who would
like ten or more countyies and work them
throgh sub-agents for ninet' days, and fail to
clear at least $3.50 above all expenses, return
employer of agents ever dared to make such Of
fers, nor would we if we did not know that We
have agents that make more than double the
amount we guaranteed, and but two sales day
one of our agents took eighteen orders in day.
Our large descriptive circulars explain our offer
fully and these we wish to send to every out
EN- 'loyment who will SEND us three one cent
sta Fps for postage Send at once and secure the
ag ancy in time for the boom and 60 to work on the
tel US named in our extraordinary offer. We
wolld like the address ofall the agents, sewing
machine solicitors and arpenters in the country,
and ask any reader Of this paper who reads this
offer to send ut once the name and address of all
such they know. Address ut once, or you Will lose
the best chance ever offered 70 chose ont OF
piemOymentto make money.
RENNER MANUFAcTuE1NG Co., ~
lSmithteld St, Pittburgh P
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
A Knowing Parrot.

A correspondent of the Norwich
Conn., Bulletin is responsible fer the
following:
The venerable pastor of Putnam, the
Rev. Father Vygen, owns a parrot
which is linguist, musician, telephone
operator, gynnast, and contortionist.
The bird will speak Irish, Dutch, Eng
lish and French, and learn lesson in
any of them with remarkable facility.
Music charms him. He frequently es-
says to sing, and reproduces the sound
of the human voice so well that one
can tell whose voice he initiates. His
voice and humor are best generally in
the morning. He mimics the do
nestle animals, canary bird, cat, and
rooster; whistles for the little poodle,
and kindly calls the Newfoundland
dog by pet name. The names of the
household members are often on his
tongue. His friendship is perpetually
particular for certain individual; he
has fits of revenge, and is very violent
in self-defense. He commands, exhorts,
and denounces as if endowed with hui
man intelligence; has somewhat reg
ular hour for retiring, manifesting his
desire therefore by screech of impa-
tience. He undertakes to advise child.
rem regarding the propriety of going to
school, and using a handkerchief when
necessary. If the indolent youngsters
were as assiduous in their application
as this parrot, they would be bright
scholars. Although he seemingly dis
tinguishes where there is a difference
of rank, he has very little reverence for
the most distinguished in church or
state, and naturally has :, no ''human
respect" At times he assumes a med
itativc mien, especially after active and
talkative scenes. He takes great de-
light in whistling the raise-up-the-cur-
tain, and hurry-up-with-the-play ga
NUT, common in the opera houses and
halls; apparently knows good from evil
and is quick to declare that that quail
ty exists in certain things. He put a
period to any current nonsense by his
imperative "Stop!' appreciates the
physiological benefit of a hearty laugh
when in the proper mood; holds pro-
longed conversations by telephone and
otherwise, and manifests a love for the
so-called almighty dollar on meet oc-
casions. The bird is wonderful above
his kind.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Cnbidden Guests.

The guests who attended my wedding.
breakfast were unique in character.
l was married in India. engaged fol-
miles or so from any other habitation
OF white men-that stood on the steep
white cliffs of the Nerbudda river, which
here flows through canon of pure
white marble. Close beside our house
was little hut, where holy man lived
in charge of an adjoining shrine, earn
ing money for himself and the shrine.
by polishing little pieces of marble as
mementoes for visitors. 1t was Won
derful place altogether, and, while my
wife. went In to change her dress, the
servants laid breakfast on the vcranda
overlooking the river. At the CHATTER
of the plates there began to come down
from the big trees that ovcrshadowed
the house, and up the big trees that
grew in the ravine behind it, from the
house-roof itself, from everywhere,
multitude of solemn monkeys. They
came up singly, and in couples, and in
families, and took their places without
noise or fuss on the veranda, and sat
there, like an audience waiting for an
entertainment to commence. And,
when everything was ready, the break
fast all laid, the monkeys all seated, l
went in to call my wife. breakfast
is ready, and they are all waiting,'
said. "Who are waiting?' she asked,
in dismay. Il thought we were going
to be alone, and l was just coming out
in my dressing-gown.' "Ncycr mind
now,'' said. "The people about here
are not very fashionably dressed them
selves. They wear pretty much the
same things all the year around.' So
my wife came out. Imagine her aston
ishment. In the middle of the veranda
stood our breakfast table, and all the
rest of the space, as well as the ratings
and the steps, was covered with an i'm
mcnse company of monkeys, as grave
as possible and as motionlcss and Silent
as if they We're stuffed! Only their eyes
kept blinking and their little round
ears kept twitching. Laughing heart
ily-at which the monkeys only looked
the graver-my wife sat down. "Will
they eat anything?" asked she. cry
Them" said. So she picked up a bis
cult and threw it among the company.
Auu Iuo result! 1ufcc uuuUrcu mon
keys or more jumped up in the air like
one, and just for one instant there was
a riot that deies description. The
next instant every monkey was sitting
in its place as solemn and serious as if
it had never moved. Only, their eyes
winked and their ears twitched MY
wife threw them another biscuit, and
again the riot, and then another and
another and another. But at length
Wa had given away all that we had to
give, and got up to 60. The monkeys
at once rose, every monkey on the YER
anda, and advancing very gravely to
the steps, walked down them in a
solemn procession, old and young to-
gether, and dispersed for the days
occupation.-Fr q Letter.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
IAN Onery Cus;s."

Captain Paul Boyton has opened an
aquatic museum in New York. He
should secure an old fellow whom he
encountered during his float down the
ArkansoW river. just before reach
ing Red Bluff, native, who had
never heard. of the captain, saw him
ing.
III that amt alligator said he,
I'm a fish,
Springing into a boat, he rowed out
to investigate. When within speaking
distance, the captain, who was afraid
OF being shot, raised up, and called
"Halloa!'
"Wall, I'll be dinged!' exclaimed the
old fellow, ceasing to row, and gazing
at the captain, who in his rubber suit,
looked like some terrible monster.
II have heard O. heap O things an
have seed a few, but you air the fust
talkin alligator that ever seed.'
The captain, to hulnor the fellow,
and not knowing that his words would
enforce conviction, replied:
eyes, don't many of us talk, but
got the hang of it somehow.
wall, I'll be dinged,'' said the old
fellow, slowly rowing down the stream.
"You must'ye larnt it from the Yam
kees.''
Eyes"
How'd they do it?''
"Split my tongue"
Its a pity they hadn't split your
blamed head open, fur you'll cause
devilment enough, turned loose in this
river. Come out on the flank an let
me get a good look at you. I'd like fur
my wife to see you, fur she thinks that
I'm the ugliest thing next to catfish,
but blamed if you don't lay over me.
Whar you goin', any how?"
''Going back down to the Missis-
sippj;"
"Whar you been?''
''Bcen up to Fort Smith; went up
after school of bass"
wall, I'll be dingcd if you amt q
emery cuss."
Say, if I come out may I stay all
night with you?'
Eyes, 60 little furder down thar
an yer ken git in the bayou an sleep
thar, but mind, if Ikctch you on my
trot-line you're gone up, talk or no
talk. Good bye; never seed the like O.
you bcfo' an | hope never to agin, I"
and taking a final look, he mused:
"My Lawd, but he's onery cuss. y
ArGansaw Traveller:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
In Doubt.

A Dutchman came into our Office last
summer with paper in his hand.
evil you please, sir, read me der
names of der beoplo vat half the chol-
erap"
.'Certainly, if you're anxious about
it.''
''Vell, am SO anxious dot | don't
know vat pc doings.''
The clerk very obligingly read the
list, the Dutchman in the meantime
perspiring and wiping his forehead.
When the clerk had finished the anx-
ious inquirer asked:
Den you don't find dc name of Hans
Geinsen dere?''
mo, sir.
well, Ply dam, I veel all right now.
! vas peen drunk for ten days, und
didn't know but dat vas dead NIT the
cholera. Boston Sunday Times.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Vanity and Gloves.

''But to return to our first love,
gloves" continued the volatile young
lady, who spoke with a cultivated Bos-
ton accent, and viewed the reporter
through glasses. "Give me at any
time the vainest of females to serve
rather than vain man. OF all created
things they are the worst said she,
turning up her keen brown eyes with
an assumption of horror. ACTUALLY,
they all want their gloves SO tight that
they have to rub their hands with soap
stone to get them on. 1t is fact;
many time have shortened the fin
gers of them. 1t takes a man of this
type about seven times as long to de-
eide upon and be fitted to a pair of
gloves as any woman
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

One ton (2,000 pounds avoirdupois)
of gold or silver contains 29,963 troy
ounces, and therefore, the value of q
ton of pure gold is 1902, 1921, and
ton of silver $37, 704. "a. A cubic foot
OF pure gold weighs 1,218.75 pounds
nvoirdupois; cubic foot of silver
weighs 655. % pounds avoirdupis; 81,
600, 900 gold coin weighs 3,685.8 pounds
avoirdupois; $1,000,000 silver coin
weighs 58,929.9 pounds avoirdupois.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
~ ISHLER'S
n, AERB
Differs.

No remedy has yet been discovered
that is so effective in all KIDNEY AND
LIVER COMPLAINTS, MALARIA, DYSPEP-
STA, ETC., and yet it is simple and HARM
less. SCIENCE and medical skill have
combined with wonderful success those
herbs which nature has provided for the
cure OF disease. It strengthens and in
vgorates the whole system.
Hon. Thaddeus Stevens, the distinguished Con-
Rressman once wrote to fellow mem Der who
suffering from indigestion and kidney disease:
Try Mishler's Herb Bitters, l believe it will cure
you. have used 1t for both indigestion and afec-
ton OF the kdneys and it is the most wonderful
combination Of medicinal herbs ever saw"
E1SHLER HERB BITTERS CO.,
525 Commerce ST., Philadelphia.
Parker's Pleasant Worm Syrup Never Fails