The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-25
COMMUNISM.
WHY DILL NYE REFUSES TO wHAcK UP
WITH A COMMUNIST.

DEAR SIR Your courteous letter of
the first instant, in which you cordially
consent to share my wealth and dwell
together with me in fratOrnal sunshine,
is duly received. While dislike to ap-
pear Geld and distant to one who seems
so yearnful and SO clinging, and while /
do not wish to be regarded as purse
proud or arrogant, must decline your
kin | offer b whack up.
You had not heard, very likely, that
| am not now Communist. used to
be, | admit, and the society no doubt
neglected to strike my name of the roll
of active members. For number of
years l was quite active as a Commun-
ist. would have been more active, but
l had conscientious scruples against be-
ing active in anything then.
While you may be perfectly sincere in
your belief that the great capitalists like
DIR. Gould and Mr.. Vanderbilt should
divide with you, you will have great
difficulty in making it perfectly clear to
them. They will probably demur, and
delay, and hem, and haw, and procras-
innate, until finally they will get cut Of
1t in some way. Still do not wish to
throw cold water on your enterprise. If
the other capitalists look favorably on
the plan, l will cheerfully cooperate
with them. You go and see what you
can do with Mr.. Vanderbilt, and then
come to me.
You go on at some length to tell me
how the most of the wealth is in the
han Is of few man, and then you at
tack these men and refer to them in a
way that makes my blood ran cold. You
tell the million Tires CT America to be-
ware, for the hot breath of bloody
handed Nemesis Is already in the air,
You may say to Nemesis, il you
please, that have double-barrel shot
gun standing at the head of my bed
every night, and that am in the Meme
sis business. You also refer to the fact
that the slcuth-hounds OF eternal JUS
tice are camped on the trail of the pam
pered millionaire, and you ask us to
avaUnt. If you see the other sleuth-
hounds of your society within week or
two, | wish you would say to them that
at regular m citing of the mill:cnaires
of this country, after the minutes of the
previous meeting had been read and ap-
proved, we voted almost unanimously
to discourage any sleuth-hound that we
found camped on our trail after ten o.
clock p, m. Sleuth- hounds who want
to ramble over our trails during office
hou 5 may do SO with the Il most i'm
punity, but after ten o'clock we want to
use our trails for other purposes. No
man wants to go to the great expense of
maintaining trail, winter and summer,
and then leave it out nights for other
people to use it and return it when they
get ready.
do not censure you, however. If
you could convince every one OF the
utility of Communism, ii would certain.
y be great boon to you. To those
who are now engaged in feeding them
selves with fiat beer out of tomato
can, such change as you suggest would
fall like ray of sunshine in rat hole !;
but, alas, it may never be. tired it
awhile, but my eifOr 3 were futile. The
effect of my great struggle seemed to be
that mems hearts grew more and more
stony, and my plntsloCn rs got thinner
and thinner on the scat till it seemed to
me that the world never was so cold.
Then l nude some experiments in
manual labor. As | lie ,an to work
harder and sit down less, found that
the world was not SO cold. 1t was only
when I sat down long tine that felt
how cold and rough the world really
was,
Perhaps 1t is so with you. Sedentary
habits and stale beer are apt to make
US morbid. Sitting on stone door-sills
or Railways and public buildings during
cold weather is apt to give you an er-
roneous impression of life.
OF coulse, l am willing to put my
money into common fund if l can.be
convinced that it is best. / was an in
SIDE passenger on a Leadville coach
some years ago, when few of your
friends suggested that We all put our
money into a common fund, and I was
almost the first one to. see that they
were right. They went away into the
mountains to apporton the money they
got from our party, but never go my
dividend. Probably they lost my post
Office address. Bill Nye, in New York
Mercury.