The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-07-04
"Phat have ve tbay-er ?" said Mrs. Finn.

Roger, an it aitin' hole in himl Ye see, it's like this: Roger kem home, week last Thuesday, wid pains in his chist an under his arrums. l sez to him, sez l, You have bad cowld.' So got him big drink O hot rum, thinkin' he'd be all right ip the mornin' but, mind ye, the mkt day he wuz worse an all swelt up like barrel. Av coorse we called in the docther-it's mighty little money we have fur docthers, though, the canallin' wuz so poor last summer, an Roger kep' get tin worse an worse, fur all he cud do. We'll, Roger thought he wuz goin' to die, an the praist came to see him an fixed him all up. Roger sed he forgev livery sin that wuz iver done to him by mortal my Roger iver lived yerself knows that, Mike. Ye'l mind the time Paddy Coo gan hit him last summer. Whin Roger wuz pullin' of his calico shirt to fight him, Coogan sed he cudn't help hittin' him, bekase the nose wid the shirt stritched tight over it made sich purty mark. Well, Roger sint fur Coogan whin he got well of the blow, an they shuk hands. An then the dear man laid there at home, now dye mind, an talked so purty about heaven. Mary, dear sez he, Pm thinkin' there'll be no shovelin' coal up there.
 "Th' docther sed Roger wud die whin tn clock stuck twilve so what does my by Paddy do but go an git another doc ther. He kem to see Roger at sivin 0 clock last night. He looked at him in tn bed, an thin he made him git up an set on chair. Does that hurt ? sez he, givin' Roger dig in tn chist. Mo- sez Roger. Thin he gev him another poke in th' chist, only lower down, and Roger squailed wid pain. Meself an Paddy wint out in tn hall wid th' docther. Whin he had the dure shut tight, sez he: The ould man has jist five hours to live. He has wather on his chist, an it's risin' higher an higher an whin it r'aches th' top O his lungs over it'll go like wather over a mill-dam an dhrown him.
 Wirra, wirra, docther dear, can ye do annything t save him p sez Paddy.
 "'Well, ssz tn docther, the stuff I Il use on him I'll ayther kill him or cure him.
 "We tho't bechune us two, Paddy an myself, that if Roger had to die annyhow, we might let the docther thry if he cud oO AUt HULL w Hat uOCS buC docther do but he goes down t McNul- tvs drug shtore, fornist the postoffice-an. mind ye, he's an iligent docther himsep, is that same McNulty-an' he kem back in little while an tuk Rsger out O th' bed where he wuz layin' fur two blessed weeks, an sets him in chair, an ties him fast wid rope, an listens his hands to little bame behint his back, like this Mrs. Murphy spread her arms at right angles to her body] Thin he takes an spreads something on his breast.
 "An' thin, what. dye think he done An, thim docthers is divils, so they are. Whin he was goin' out O th' dure he turns around and sez he: { If he begins t holler, we'll save him but if he's quiet ye may bid him good-bye."
 Here Mrs. Murphy knocked her pipe out on the stone, and remarked incident ally that smoking always made her dry. Mir. Finn politely took no apparent mo- tice of the remark but when Mrs. Mur- phy was looking another way he indicated to his wife by wink and jerk of the thumb that there was something in the closet that would quench Mrs. Murphy's thirst. Mrs. Murphy resumed her story between sips of a very appeti,ing liquid |:
 "Haf an hour after tn stuff wuz put on his breast, Roger began t get onaisy. He squirmed around on tn chair. Whin wan hour wuz gone ye c'ud hear him in Shanty Heller. He was shoutin', an cursin', an prayin', an beggin' me t take th' horrible thing off him. Arrah, MT. Finn, if ye cu'd see th' poor man, wid tears streamin' down his face, an' him callin' on tn saints t help him 1 Tn naybors thought we had a murther. Whin cudn't shtand it no longer, I went down t McNulty's; ses l.:
 :. McNulty, phat's that yer afther givin' tn docther fur my Roger p
 "Well.' ser Nulty, very quiet, I'm afther sellin' th' docther plasther for a harse's leg
 "Harse's leg9 Howly Moses he has 1t oa my oult man ?
 "' May tn divil fly away wid tn mur- therin' villain. Shure that's a Spanish plasther, an it'll ate hole thro' railroad iron.'
 "l starts fur th' docther's house. What wuz he doin', dye think, whin got there? His wife wuz playin' on tn pianny an he wuz singin'. He tuk me intil th' illegint parlor, an sez he: Sit ooWn, MIS- MurPny, SCI nc, uIi l sing ye McCarthy's MareP mind ye, Biddy, an my Roger dyin' beyant tn hill |
 Mike, cud run like a deer goin back; but tn docther walked along mighty aisy an wint th' longest way. We stopped at McNulty's t get some more medicine for Roger. Tn docther went behint tn little curtain wbere thim drug fellers mix dhrinks. heerd him talkin' an laffin' wid McNulty till cud sthand it no longer.
 "'Cud ye tell McNulty th' rest O th' story to-morrer ser |; 'Pd like t see Roger wanst more alive.'
 "Ye know, Mike, Roger is big man. He's fifty inches round th' chist, an he cud break a tree across his knee. We heerd him yellin' a quarther iv a mile away, an th' sthreet wuz filled wid people whin we got there. Whin VIC kem in