The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1885-11-24
THANKSGIVING DAY.
CAUSES THE FESTIVE BILL NYE TO IN
DULGE IN RETROSPECTIVE REMARKS.

CAUSES THE FESTIVE BILL NYE TO IN
DULGE IN RETROSPECTIVE REMARKS.
Prom the Chicago News.
Hudson, Wis. Nov. 9-We arc now
rapidly approaching the date of our great
national Thanksgiving. Another year
has almost passed by on the wings Of
tircless time
Since last we gathered about the fes-
tive board and spattered the true inward.
ness of the family gobbler over the table
cloth. remorseless time. who knows not
the weight Of WEAKNESS. has sought out
the good. the true and the beautiful, as
well as the old. the sintnl and the tough,
and has laid his heavy hand upon them
the great truth that death prefers the
young and the tender than the deceased
turkey upon which we are soon to oper,
ate. How still he lies moved down in
life's young morn to make Yankee holi-
day!
How changed he seems! Once so gay
and festive, now so still, so strangely
quiet and reserved. How calmly he lies,
with his bare limbs buried in the lurid
atmosphere like those Of a hippytehop
artlsle ON the west side.
Soon the amateur carver will plunge
the shining blade into the unresisting
bird, and the air will be filed with stuff.
ing and half smothed profanity. The
thanksgiving turkey ii grim humorist,
and nothing pleases him so well as to
conceal his joint in a new place and then
flop over smile when the student misses
it and buries the carving knife into the
bosom of personal friend. Few men
can retain their sang froid before com
pany when they have to get a step-ladder
and take down the second join. and the
merry thought from the chandler while
people are looking at them.
And what has the past year brought
us? Spreading from arepublican stand
point, it has brought us large wad OF
dark blue gloom. Speaking from dem.
ocratic standpoint. it has been very pro.
life of fourth, class postotfices worth
from $500 down to So 30 per annum
Politically, the past year has been one OF
wonderful changes. Many have, during
the year just past, held Office for the first
time. Many also have gone out into the
cold world since last thanksgiving and
seriously considered the great problem of
perspiration in plain groceries.
Many who considered the life of the
politician to be ole of high priced food
and inglorious case have found, now that
they have the fruit. that it is ashes on
their lips.
Many startling changes have taken
place since last November. The political
fabric in our land has assumed "a different
hue, and men who ayearago were unno.
ticed and unknown are to day even more
so. This is indeed Il healthy sigh No
matter what party or faction may be re-
sponsible for this, say in wholly non
partisan spirit that | am glad of it.
am glad to notice that owing To the
active enforcement of the Edmunds bill
as law in Utah, polygamy has been
made odorous. The day is not far dis.
tant when Utah will be admitted as Il
state and her motto will be lone country.
one flag. and one wife at time Then
will peace and prosperity unite to make
the modern Zion the habitation of men.
The old style of hand made valley tan
will give place to less harmless bever-
age, and we will welcome the new sister
into the great family circle OF states. not
clothed III the disagreeable endowment
robe, but Dire ssed up in Mother Hubbard
wrapper. with II surcingle arOu it, such
as the goddess Of liberty wears when she
has her picture taken.
Crops throughout the northwest have
been fairly good, though the grain yield
has been far less in quantity and inferior
in quality to that OF last year. A demo
cratic administration has certainly frown
ed upon the professional partisan office
seeker but ii has been unable to stay the
onward march of the Chintz bug or to
produce perceptible falling off in the
pip amoung yellow -limbed fowls. While
Jeifers oman purity and economy have
seemed to rage with great viruleuce at
Washington, in the northwest heaves and
bolts among horses and common, old
fashioned hollow horn among cattle have
been prevailing complaints.
And yet there is much for which we
should be truly thankful. Many breads
browed men who knew how a good paper
ought to be conducted, but who had no
other visible means of support, have pass
ed on to another field of labor. leaving
the work almost solely in the hands of the
vast army of the novices who are at pres
ent at the head of journalism throughout
the country. and who sadly miss those
timely words of caution that were wont
to fall from the lips of those spirits are
now floating through space, finding fault
with the arrangement of the solar system.
The fuol-killer in the meantime has not
been idle. With his old, rusty, unloaded
musket he has gathered in enough to
make his heart swell with pride. and to
this number he has added many more by
using trough on rats" a preparation that
never killed anything except those who
were unfortunate enough to belong to
the human family.
Still the fool killer has missed good
many on account of the great rush of bust
ness in his line, and l presume that no
one has greater reason to be thankful for
this oversight than 1 have. BILL NYE.
nauf Gnoda put n 8Yn laat parceia