The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-01-10

"A small party-the dried apple.
Our great ills are self-procured.
Economy is the chair of old age.
AN aching void-A hollow tooth.
Woman was the original "side is
sue.
The road to economy is prudent
buy-way.
An opera-glass-The one taken be-
tween the acts.
is there any road politician has
not travelled ?-The road to heaven.
Good manners and good behavior
cost nothing, but are worth millions.
Republics come to an end by lux
urious habits; monarchies by poverty.
Who loves his work and knows how
to spare, may live and flourish anywhere.
TO be sprightly, live rightly, eat
lightly, rest nightly, very quietly and
long.
The lights of other days were not
so good as lights of the present. but
the lives were better.
-"How shall l sleep2" asks cor
respondent. Without snoring, and on
your own side of the bed.
Every man ought to have patience
and pity for poverty, but for laziness a
long whip or turn at treadmill might
be better.
Let US begin our heaven on earth /;
and, being ourselves tempted, let us be
pitiful and considerate and generous IN
judging others.
Love thy wife and cherish her as
long as thou Invest. Flattery is better
than roughness and will make her con-
tented and diligent.
Labor is life; from the Utmost
heart of the worker rises his God given
force, the sacred celestial life essence
breathed into him by Almighty God.
Times of general calamity and con-
fusion have ever been productive of the
greatest minds. The purest ore is pro,
duced from the hottest furnace.
The man who wrote elbow to get
on in the world asked us yesterday to
lend him quarter. Such is life; those
who preach do not always practice.
1t is alleged that drinking of much
water makes people fat. Mebbe so
mebbe so. Boston men certainly are
the scrawniest people in the country.
Think of your faults the first part
of the night (when you are awake, and
of the faults of others the latter part of
the night (when you are asleep.
-"How does the milk get into the
cocoanut p asks subscriber. 1t does
not get into it at all. The cocoanut
grows around the milk Ask US hard
one.
To be thrown upon ones own re-
sources is to be cast into the very lap of
fortune, for our faculties then undergo
a development of which they were be-
fore unsusceptible.
Its right to trust in God, but if
you don't stand to your halliards, your
craft'll miss stays, and your faith'll be
blown out of the bolt-ropes in the turn
of marlinspike.
Two bearers were walking away
from the grave in which they had de-
posted a neighbor, when one said to
the other, "Well, Mr.. Morse, here's
where we've all got to come, T70e Ave. "
-Retribution is one of the grand
principles in the Divine administration
of human affairs. There is everywhere
the working of the everlasting law of
requital. Man always gets as he gives.
The remark that 'spolitics make
strange bed fellows" is supposed to have
emanated from a man who had been
around the State on stumping tour
and put up at country hotels of nights.
-s'Now then, Patrick" said the
merchant to his his new ofice-boy,
sssuppose you go for the mail" "Yis,
sor; an what kind of male wud We
be wantin', sor-Indian male or oat
male?"
Professor P. mentions, as a strik-
ing evidence of the symmetry of ma
lures operations, that mushrooms al
ways spring up in shower, which is
doubtless the reason they are shaped
like umbrellas
"A correspondent asks: "Please adj
wise me what bald head denotes. |
find some people grow bald sooner than
Others" We have always labored I'M
der the impression a bald head denoted
an absence of hair.
AN advertisement in a Swiss paper
says-"Wanted, a servant who knows
how to cook and take care of children. %
In the cannibal islands domestic pos
sessed of such double gift would not
long remain without employment.
"A foreign scientist is reported to
have carried the art of instantaneous
photography to the point of securing
photographs of bullet in its flight. 1t
is said to look very much like base
ballumpire leaving the field after game.
celia, my child" said prudish
old maid to pretty niece, "ifthe Lord
had intended your hair to be curled He
would have done it himself" $50 He
did, auntie, when was baby, but He
thinks l am big enough now to do it
myself"
Aim at perfection in everything,
though in most things it is unattaina-
BILE; for those who aim at it, and per-
severe, will come much nearer to it
than those whose laziness and despon-
dency make them give it up as unat-
tainable.
az haven'thad a bite for two days."
pleaded the tramp. els it possible.!"
answered the woman with sympathy.
"I'll see what l can do for you in the
way of bite. Here, Tige-Tige."
The tramp broke two-dollar gate in
getting away.
Mistress of the house Ito new nur.
sery maid, whom she finds deeply abb
sorbed in adime novel;: "Why, Annie,
you can't read and mind the baby at
the same time ~ Begging your par
ding, mum, the child doesn't disturb
me bit !"
-"This art craze is going too far"
said Broughne, when a pot of paint fell
from the second-story window and