Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-11-20
SHE BECAME a MORMON.

The Story of an Honest New York Granger
Who Owes Mormonism q Lasting Debt.
81 don't say as 1 approve of Mormon
ism, observed the old man, as he
chewed away at a fresh quid; ''but 1
owe O. them ere Mormon elders a debt
of gratitude 1 kin never pay"
CLOVIS that?" asked one of the
group.
''Waal, I don't mind tellin' ye the
circumstances to while away the time.
Long bout twenty years ago, when !
had som shape to me, a wilder up in
the Chenango Valley got struck on me.
l was mashed on her. 1t was a sort of
mutual fire insurance company. Two
hours after 1 first sot eyes on her she
squoze my hand. 1 responded by hug
cling her waist. She called me her
deary. 1 called her my dovey. Dang
my buttons if we wasn't engaged in
less'n five hours?"
"Was she nice?"
"Um! She was an angel! For about
four weeks l was the happicst man in
York State. 1t seemed as if l trod on
air half the time. Bimeby a dark shad-
der got up and bumped itself across
my u sky"
"What was it?"
''Why, 1 diskivered that the widder
had her faults. She had a temper like
an old meat-ax, she smoked a pipe,
she walked in her sleep, she be-
1ieved in dreams. We had a little tiff,
same as all lovers, and she picked up
an old scythe and run me half a mile.
Then l begun to claw off,"
Wanted to break, eh?"
''The wust way. She begged my
pardon, and called me deary and dow
ey, and allowed that 1 was the noblest
Roman on earth, but l insisted that the
silver cord was busted. Then she sued
me for breach of promise-damages.
$40, OOO."
''That was tough"
Eyes. l sweat over it like a yoke o.
cattle DRAWN in hay. The day the
suit was to be called, l driv down to
the depot to take the train for the coun-
ty seat, and 1 found her there. She
come right up an shook hands as if
nothin' had happened, and when we
went into the car she says, says she:
OOAA IL VtUlA v JOo4 AAOASy
I'm after, but it's you 1 want
".But you can'thave me, Lucy Ann,'
I answers.
"'Mebbe not, but you had no right
to promise me-
''Waal, purity soon 1 looked down
the car and l spies a Mormon elder.
l knowed he was, cause I'd seen him
in Attica. He was a missionary sent
out to gather in the harvest. The
harvest had been mighty slim, and he
looked as glum as a grasshopper left
behind the drove. I goes over to him
and softly says:
"'Elder, what of the cause?'
"''Tis Il glorious one,' he answers.
"tAnd the converts?'
"'Rayther skeerce.'
":Say, elder, do YOU want to make
a hundred dollars and a fust-class con-
vert at the same time9: 1 axed him.
"'lf it ar the Lords WILL he SOL
EMMY answers.
WAL, ! . sent tl him oyer ;u t2 ta}k st te
whistles to me. 1 goes over, and they
was squeezing hands and lookin' ever
lastin' bliss into each others orbs.
":John' Henry says she, a wilder
M may WanI money, Uul Sue
wants a second husband wuss. Let's
dicker.'
"'How much to squelch the suit,
Lucyp
"iGimme two hundred?' In twenty
minutes I had it all fixed, and in three
days she headed West with the elder"
s.Ever hear Of her afterward?"
"Slightly. About a year after 1 met
the elder over in the Mohawk Valley.
He wouldn't speak to me-"
".Whence this disdain?' says l. as I
driv him into a fence II
".Alas!' signs he, but you were too
good. She broke my jaw, busted my
harem, and kicked so much of the
stuffin' out Of Brighum Young's Bible
that we can't find huff scriptur' to
hold a praver-meetin' on. Go way.
designin' villain, go way
"And | went."-M. Y. Times.