Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-28
FUN AT WEDDINGS.
Some of the GrOtesque Mistakes That
Occur at NYptial Ceremonies.

"SS" ~ FNS1''h"' SeiO"o"'VS'
YES" said Boston clergyman,
more ludicrous incidents and queer
mistakes happen in connection with
weddings or marriages than | ever
noticed in connection with any of nay
other work. There are times when l
have difficulty in keeping my counte-
nance straight, and of course you
would't like to be laughed at by the
minister Just as he was about to join
you solemnly in wedlock with the lady
you loved. The most trying time l
ever had was when ] was young in the
ministry, and when / had not such
control over my keen sense of the
ludicrous as have since acquired. l
was located at Houlton, Me. One day
a couple drove over from Woodstock,
N. b., and when they arrived in the
village began inquiring for a minister.
Some of the mischief-loving boys got
hold of them, and took them down to
the market, where they were placed
on exhibition and piled with all sorts
of ridiculous questions, to the great
amusement of the crowd, and without
embarrassment to themselves, for they
were too green to appreciate the joke.
Finally, after everybody had had his
fill of fun, the bride and groom were
escorted to my house by few of the
most mischevous of the crowd. 1t was
all / could do TO keep from roaring
when they entered, but l felt that l
must maintain my dignity. not only for
the sake of the bride and groom, but
because some of the young men present
were members OF my congregation,
and If yielded to my feelings then l
might have difficulty in restraining
myself when faced them from the
pulpit. The woman was the tallest.
most awkward, and most fantastic
female | ever saw. She was six feet
and two inches high, and dressed in all
the bright-colored toggery she could
get on, without regard to harmony or
style of make. But one article struck
me so forcibly and was thrust on my
attention so prominently that l forgot
all the other details. She had a hand
which came nearly answering the de-
scription 'as large as Goldfish, and
these were enclosed in pair of thick
look as big as potato. The man
was a diminutive half-brecd, Indian
and French, and he had no vest or
collar on, and his pants were held up
by lumberman' s leather belt, fastened
with an old, rusty iron buckle. l
managed to get through the ceremony,
however, and relieved my feelings after
they had gone.
II remember bashful fellow who
came to my house with his girl to ge.
married. He was so bashful that
ptied him. He was absolutely over
whelmed-paralyzed, l ought to say.
He came into the parlor with his hat
on, and did not remove it once, despite
all the hints that his bride and l gave
him. | said all the assuring things l
could, and tried to engage him and his
lady in conversation, but he was SO
abash ed that he could neither answer
nor move. l hinted that he stand be-
side his lady, but he was SO frightened
that he did not understand. Finally,
in despair, l said quietly and privately
to the bride: If you will take your
place beside the groom | will marry
you,' and when she approached him It
seemed absolutely to s;artle him with a
new fright.
Zone young man, who came on the
same errand, was struck with curiosi-
ty the moment he entered the room
He absolutely ignored his bride, while
he wandered about the parlor, scruti-
nizing in wondering way every pict-
ure, every book, ornament, and piece
of furniture in the room. The bride
sat and blushed, while | tried to call
his attention to the business of the mo-
ment, but he kept on, and it was more
than fifteen minutes before could get
the two corraled near enough together
to marry them.
II married a qu er couple once, a
short time before l came to Boston.
The man had just entered upon his
profession which we will call that Of a
physician, and had determined upon
his place of settlement The young
lady, bright. intelligent. well-educa.
ted girl, who knew the ways of society,
had made up her mind that she would
marry doctor, and finally she had
brought matters round in quiet, wO-
manly way to the point of his asking
for her hand and heart. and Of course
she yielded. The acquaintance had
been astonishingly brief. They were
hardly acquainted when | was sum-
skillful and devoted to his profession,
which he had mastered well for young
man in theory and practice. But he
knew less Of the ways Of the world and
customs of social life than any other
man ever met. He was on the point
OF starting for his new home tho very