Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1885-10-13
MISCELLANEOUS.
IN Search Of satisfaction.


Haif an hour before the train over
the Chicago and Northwestern was to
leave for Madison, Wis, yesterday,
a pompous fat man, with several par
GELS in his arms, entered the depot
with great rush and made q bee line
for Lake Geneva train. When halt
ed at the gate ard asked what train
he wanted to take, he replied:
I'm going TO Madison, and if you
make me miss the train I'll sue for
damages.
/" But this isn't tho train for Mad
ison.''
e Why isn't it, sir; Why in the
NIadison?" loudly demanded the fat
man.
{" Because the train for Madison
stands over on that track there"
''rhen why didn't you tell me so
i'll the first place. I've good mind
to report you to your superiors, sir"
s You'll find the superintendent
up stairs" humbly replied the gate
keeper.
g And I'll lodge complaint against
you-yes, 1 will. Travellers have
rights and these rights must be main
tained."
The fat man rushed half way up
stairs and the whistle of a yard en-
gine made him halt and turn and rush
down again. Reaching the gates of
the Madison train, he called out:
1t is your business to give warn
ing at least three minutes before the
train leaves. /"
And I'm going to do it, 5" replied
the gatekeeper; "i it is over twenty
minutes yet before train time. Please
show your ticket
g Show my ticket7 Do you sup
pose a man in my position means to
steal a ride on the hind trucks?"
The rule is for all passengers to
show their tickets.''
don't believe it, and I want
your name! I'll go up to the super
and see if travellers have
any rights in this depot. Your name,
.sir!''
My name is Bumps, sir, and I'm
a poor widower with seven children
to support"
: don't care is you've got seven
teen children to support. I'll bump
Bumps till he'll never dare to sass
another travellerl"
The fat man rushed up stairs again,
and was heard galIoping the num-
erous halls and passages and calling
for the superintendent. The tanitors
passed him along until he came down
the outside stairs to the public street.
g Have hack, sir?" yelled about
forty drivers in chorus.
I" No, sir !" he screamed In reply.
i'' This is a put up job to make me
miss the train. Where do go into
the depot?'
s. Have a wagon!' howled twenty
exprcssmen in his ears.
NcverI Never! Iwaut to 90 into
the depot! If miss that train I'll
sue the whole city,"
He was shown the public entrance
and he made rush for an Evanston
local train just making up.
'Thatisn'tt the train for Madisoni"
called several voices, and he hurried
over to where Bumps was standing
and said: sI'll fix you for this, sir !;
let me through this gate!"
Ticket, please?"
Z" Yes, I'll show my ticket, and as
soon as L reach Madison I'll make an
affidavit of this affair, and send it
back to the superintendent.
He passed through and entered a
coach. A woman was saying she
feared her trunk had not come down
on the baggage wagon, and be dumped
his parcels in seat and said / hope
it hasn't. 1t will serve you just right
to miss it. A person who hasn't got
spunk enoughto stand right up to these
railroad folks and let 'em know what g
what ought to lose her trunk. They
tried to bluff me round just now,
and when they found they couldn't
do it they couldn't be too humble
and obliging. Go out and blast them,
madame; blast their eyes till they
can t rest"