Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1885-08-26
Part ChronlcIe-.Part Otherwi.e.

And it came to pass that upon a certain
day Of the week just numbered with the
agone two husbandmcn were gathering
oats in field, and they brought the
grain unto divers central points and
builded mounds; and as the wayfarers
passed by they lifted up their eyes and
said. 'Lo, these two men are shocking !"
Now, in the appearance and manner of
the industrious youths there was nothing
whatever of "shocking' nature. They
were OF modest mien !; young, too, they
were, and handsome.
But again it came to pass that while the
shockers shocked great and strange
bird was seen afar off it soon drew nigh,
and alas it tempted fate-it "lit''--its
days were numbered.
For one of the toilers whose fiery
southern blood did boil with thought Of
conquest, spakc unto his pard Gaze
thou upon me. l am a shot which is
called dead : shall smite the intruder
with double BB's beneath the fifth rib ;
it were better for Mr.. Bird had he never
been born"
And straightway journeycd this san
culinary granger unto the temple which
in the language of the region is called
SHACK Soon lie appeared bearing a
double -barreled instrument of destruction
which the inh abitants round about Bills
port keep for use on non resident timber
clalm-seekers, insurance agents, and 60
pliers.
And this bloodthirsty man did even as
he had prophcsied. See He approach
eth cautiously; he runneth barrel
forninst either eye of the bird. He clos
eth his OH optic and sqhinteth along the
sights. "Click bang ~ and the feath-
cry biped is gathered to his fathers.
Some more "it came to pass And
now third youth came hoofing it over a
hill beyant the field. And the two shock
ing young men were seen to take counsel
together and they did point their index
fingers at the coming youth, and again
stretched they them--at the bird. Then
separate, distinct and assorted grins with
out number chased one another over
their beautiful and classic features.
Moreover, they did dance lightly and
smite their knee pans with glec. Then
they disappeared, and even likewise did
the bird.
Things still continued to come to pass.
And 10 when the pedestrian had come
in their places, and the shocking work
was in full blast.
And when the newcomer had arrived
the usual salutations (such as, "Your oats
II go a hundred bushcl." Yea, more"
And They IL 60 forty-five pound" Z"
you bet !'') were worked off. Then
said Young Man Named After the :
Father of His Country-and a-Chicken.
Catching Bird unto the party who had
drawn nigh : "Canst thou shoott" That
can l." Art thou Dead Shot9' "Yea
l am Sure Death" "'Tis we'll. Take
thou that 'weepin' and 60 forth and kill
the bird on yon shock"
And for the fifth and last call it came
to pass. A shot was heard, and the young
hunter appeared with the fowl from be-
hind the shock, while cloud of feathers
darkcned the sun.
As the party Of the second part ap-
preached, swinging his victim, he smote
his breast and broke forth Hi, you fell
crs, look at me There can't no eagle
around! Good shot, wasn't it2 Dye
see me try to sneak on i'm? Couldn't do
it-he saw me-eaglc never sleeps-seea
everthing-was just goin' to fly, an !
had to shoot-must bin hundred
yards - when you want poultry
exterminator pulvcrized send for me."
Then he jumped high in air, cracked his
heels together twice before he came down,
and howled.
Now, when the things above described
were ended, straightway there came unto
the scribe one of the shocking young
men, deeply troubled, and he spakc: "ft
was no eagle. For verify, verify, say
unto you, our brother hath dealt post
mortem destruction to an owl. Twas
who first slew the bird, and he hatl,
taken to himself honors as a ma1ksman
which to me doth rightfully belong. Hit
him biff in your next issue, please"
And the scribe hath done even as lie
was hidden.