The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-05-28
a CAUSE FOR LAMENTATiON.
The Succession of Misfortunes That Il
Sure to Descend Upon the Head of a
HItIess Citizen.

The Succession of Misfortunes That IL
Sure to Descend Upon the Head of a
HItless Citizen.
There is no sympathy for the man
who has lost his hat. The most veneer
able looking man in town may lose his
hat in a manner easily explained, bu.
when he walks along bareheaded, even
his most intimate friends regard him
with suspicion. l have been frequently
asked to state the cause of this i'll ar
rangement. but anything like a salts
factory reply would involve so much
study that | am afraid to undertake an
enterprise placing me under the neceS-
sity of such mental strain. The man
who has lost his hat ALWAYS looked as
though he had been drunk. He NAV
take of his hat and carry it along, and
bareheaded he may walk around in his
yard. and he does not sow the seeds
which sprOut in mischief, take root in
malignity and grow up 10 be weeds of
great evil. ANY one can at once see
that he has not lost his hat. In one
instance they see that he has it with
him; in the other instance they suppose
that he has left it i'll the house.
Several weeks ago. Rev. Mr.. Pitch
field. as good man and rs upright a
revivaliSt as ever lived. lost his hat
while looking from the window of
railway train. Being Il mal of economy,
he decided that he would not ride home
after reaching the station. and that as
he had another hat at home he would
not weaken recent collections by I'M
necessary expenditure.
AS he walked along the street people
stared at him. Whats the matter
with Mr.. Pitchfeld?' asked a business
man, addressing an acquaintance.
Been drunk
'You don't tell me so?''
MAN down the street just now told
me that the old fellow was rip-roarino.
Said that he kicked his hat and then
wore it out against post
That's shameful. | didn't know
that the old gentleman ever drank any
thing"
Il didn't, either, until Just now. Eel
low said that the old man had been
quiet drinker for years. Another man
told me that he keeps a jug in his
closet"
The morning paper, coming out the
following day, contained this para
graph:
One OF our most prom nent ministers was
seen walk ng along the street yesterday in Il
beaStiy state of intOyicatiOn. lie filed his
plug hat with fragments of stone tied it to
dogs tail and yelled in ih;Otic delight. His
MANY friends were shocSe l. and we. in max
ing this chronicle, although we mention no
name. are deeply grieyed.
The church people became excited
and began to make inquiries. Some OF
the most trustworthy men in town
stated that thev had seen Mr. Pitchfield
going bare headed through the streets.
A committee selected from the unfortu-
nate old gentleman's congregation sum-
lOned him. AStOnished and indignant,
DE appeared.
Brother Pitchlield," said the chair
man. 1--WE are greatly Inundated by the
rep Drt that You were bea5tly intoxicated
Yesterday; that you tied Your hat to a
dogs tail, and that you behaved in
very scandalOus manner"
at is lie exclaimed the Justly in
dignant preacher.
"HOld on, brother, hold on; the guilty
always fly into passion"
Il lost my hat from the window of 4
railway tran, and came through the
'Mr. Clerk, said the chairman, re
cord the fact that Brother Pitchfield
his guilt "
Il am no. guilty, and acknowledge
nothing but the truth" shouted the
minister.
"Also add, Mr.: Clerk, that when con-
fronted he became violent and abusive"
"You are set OF scoundrelS," ex-
claimed Mr. Pitchfield
also add. Mr.. Clerk. that he SIAN
iered the church. Now. sir. you may
go. We want no more of your preach
ing"
No; the man who loses his hat and
who goes bareheaded through the streets
can make but poor explanation. This
IS sad. in view of our freedom, orr
great Institutions; it is just cause for
p. Read, in N. 7.
Mercury.