davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
A Fraudulent Baron.
fNy. VI Nrrta

never shall forget that dear old fraud,
Hector Carlos, Baron de Maincy, who illumi-
mated our drawing-rooms a few years ago
He was good and not very bright,
and his mustache stuck out like two brad
avis. For six years he was supported here,
mostly by literary people, on the claim Of
being baron, though why that should en-
title him to support do not see. He was q
ladies' man, and one lady invested $l3, 600 In
him, have heard. He offered his noble
hand to daughter of ex-President John
Tyler, and tho offer was respectfully de-
clined. He taught French little, and was
always getting up classes that dissolved mys-
teriously. ut Is not necessary for me to
teach" he once said to me, "and will not
stoop to Eat for less than $40 an hour for
every person"
At last he turned up his aristocratic toes.
and a subscription paper was passed around
to bury him and erect over his remains a
monument. Alasl within month three
wives arrived from different parts Of the
earth and inquired IL he left anything.
There was a scene. Then It came out that
Hector Carlos, Baron de Maincy, was an i'm
postoT. His name was Carl Haase, his occu-
patton barber and valet He took his mas
ter's name and title and desolated England
and America with his expensive personality.
He left . trunk full Of letters involving
large number Of ladies, a coat-of-arms, and
any number Of official cards In course Of
time the monument was finished, but there
was some hesitation about putting 1t over
tho prevaricating remains; so one of his
most intense admirers erected 1t In her par
lor, where for some months 1t commemor-
ated the virtues Of the last Of the De
Maincys. ID seems to be q pretty good sign
that titled person Is an impostor II he
doesn't pay his bills
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
BY SAIL TO FRISCO.
Three Glasses OF Persons That Keep the
Clippers State Rooms Occupied.

Three Glasses Of Persons That Keep the
Clippers State Rooms Occupied.
New York Tribune.l
The ships that sail from this port to San
Francisco take about l25 days to make the
outward trip. rhe price usually charged to
carry passenger is $780, As one can go to
San Francisco by rail for half that sum in a
week, it would not at first appear that peo-
pie could be found TO occupy the fine state
rooms that are fitted up for the use of pas
sengers in all Of the California clippers.
But the existence Of three classes of mono
maniacs-people who are inordinately fond
of the sea, drunkards, and love.sick Youths
fur lshes occupants for the state-rooms
and helps TO swell the profits Of the owners
of the ships. A young man who likes the
sea and whose health has been undermined
by Office work and kindred frivolities, de-
termines to build up his system and enjoy
himself at the same time by taking q trip
around the Horn. The captain of the clip
per likes to see him come aboard. He is not
apt to be seasick, and Is so wonderfully and
fearfully nautical that he furnishes a consid-
cradle amount OF innocent amusement for
the first month at least Then he always in
sists upon hauling at the braces or the hal
yards when those ropes are to be operated
upon, and SO, though he is somewhat in the
way at first and rhanfully restrains his de-
sire for pulling and hauling just as he gets
TO be handy, a good deal Of work can be got
out of him in quiet way.
The drunkard is another sort Of a passen-
ger. He goes to sea not by choice but on
the recommendation of his relatives and
friends, who generally offer him the alterna-
tive Of an inebriate asylum. He usually
Emuggles enough liquor aboard to keep him
In his favorite article of drink and good
humor for the first month; but after that he
is apt to get sick or ill-natured. Sometimes
he gets cured OF his bad habit, and is an
agreeable companion for the entire trip. The
love-sick youth mourns and sighs about the
ship, gets frightfully seasick, and writes long
letters and maudlin poetry between spells
He has to be petted and waited on, and Is
really nuisance. II he RECEIVERS from his
love and seasickness, he is apt to become a
good fellow and an acquisition to the society
of the ship.
IL the trip around the Horn accomplishes
for these three classes Of people what it is in
tended to accomplish land il it does not,
nothing wilD, the pale clerk comes back q
hale and hearty fellow with an appetite that
strikes terror to the heart of his landlady
and grip that makes his friends vince as
he shakes hands with them; the drunkard
GENES back with passion for liquor in sub
lection, and the love-sick youth returns
gladly to marry the beiresS and willingly
forget the French chambermaid.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

Two Of the richest senator's come from the
northwest, Palmer Of Michigan and Sawyer
OF Wisconsin. The fortunes of both were
made in the lumber trade. Senator Palmer's
wealth il estimated at $3000,010 and
Senator Sawyer's at s7,000,000 Palmer
is elegant IN manners, disposed to cultivate
literature, TO entertain royalty, and to trav ell
ami visit Europe. He maintains a fine house
la New York. Senator Sawyer is blunt,
cares nothing for books, had rather dine
from pork and beans and juicy corned beef
and cabbage, and, il it be a hot day, with his
coat off, than to restrain himself with all the
formalities of fashionable dinner. Senator
Sawyer is happier when he Is in the woods,
logging, than on the floor of the senate, and
he tells his friends that the old days, when
he wasn't worth dollar, but was tramping
through the great pine woods OF Wisconsin,
brought him more del light than he has had
since.
Mr.. Sawyer with all his great wealth,
makes no pretentions, and IL a stranger from
the gallery should see this short man, with
the plethoric abdomen, exceedingly bowed
legs, stubbing back and forth for his daily
exercise on the floor OF the senate, hands be-
hind him, body encased sometimes in pilot
jacket of navy blue with big horn buttons,
he would believe the senator was a venera-
BILE doorkeeper, instead of the wealthiest
man, with one exception, In the senate He
is, nevertheless, a souni-headed man, whose
judgment on many matters Is much re-
spected, and be has the unusual repute Of
having never yet made q speech in the sem
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
Burst Up the Discussion.

lSnfonicie OnuertOneS.
think most arguments are really about
nothing never heard two people argue yet
that some compromise was not come to by
each Of them saying: .-. ....-..
"Ohi I did not understand you. Thought
you said so-and-son sr.
Islways remember m an example OF tho
utter uselessness and fruitlsssnsss Of argu-
ments scene In which Cremony, who died
some years ago, and Henry Edwards were
tho disputants. It was In the Bohemian
club, late one night In 1s7d The two were
talking about London, and they came to
furious discussion over some little matter Of
Life In tue English metropolis
" tell you know all about London, and
say that you are wrong" a....a
"And l know something about tho place.
and ! say I'm right" ....t.... .. ......
1t had passed through the rstort courteous,
the quip modest, tho reply churlish, the re-
proof valiant, the counter check quarrel
somss the lie with circumstances, and 1t had
almost touched the lie direct, when In the
lul OF an angry silence, Edwards blurtsd
ont, s2 +.F ti.a.' '-'
"When were you In London, CremonyP'
@In 1882" said Cremony. be ..taE
And yell Of laughter from the listeners
burst the discussion up.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

You may, or you may not know, as IL is,
perhaps, the case either way, that writing
on the cars is attended with certain difficult
ties and Interrupted by uncertain incidents.
The more uncertain the incident, the more
liable Il 1t to happen; and the more nsr.
vously you anticipate 1t, the more certainly
does it never happen. You grasp this. I
trusti And that. kind roader. Is the only
thing will trust you with.
No matter how smoothly the train Il run
ming when you are doing nothing, IL begins
to jump and roll when you start to write.
There-the csr has just jumped over a
stump; now IL is running. think, in the
bed Of creek-an old, abandoned bed at
that-which was 20 rough that no creek
could run in it II the creek bed is any
more abandoned than the language Of the
passenger who just now caught hold OF the
stove to steady himself as the train cork
screwed itself around q reversed curve. Il
must be something terrible. will not even
.ook Mt IL
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

APPEARANCE OF THE UPPER PORTION OF THI
MONUMENT ON THE DAY or ITS COMPILE
TIoN.
On December 9th the last or capstone,
weighing $500 pounds, was placed on the
Washington monument, thus completing eI
teriorally this structure. commenced il
1S4S There were present at the ceremony,
besides Col Thomas L. Casey. the govern.
ment engineer in charge, and his assistants,
one of the master mechanics who assisted al
the laying Of the corner stone over 30 years
ago and the old watchman who has guarded
the structure continuously from that time
since.
The site for this obelisk was marked on
the original plan of the national capitol, a.
designed by Major pEnfant, which plar
was approyei by Washington himself. The
corner stone was laid on July 4. 1s4S In
the six years following the shaft reached the
height Of 175 feet, when tbs funds gave out,
and the work was suspended until about six
years ago. when work was resumed. The
structure has cost 81, ,l30, 00J, 5000, 900 OF
which was appropriated by congress
notable fact In the construction Of this stu.
pendous work is the fact that not single
life has been lost through accident.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

Missouri Republican1

lHtSoohl hspubhChhl
@When I was in Siberia" said Captain
Furskins, at was so burned cold that your
breath would freeze and drop in Jumps TO the
ground. But we had lots Of fun. There
were plenty of jack rabbits and other game,
but it was most too cold tohandle gun So
on a clear moonlight night we would set
couple Of big headlight lanterns on the
glistening snow, way out OH the steppes, and
just wait for developments. The rabbits
would be attracted by the intense light,
which was reflected for greet distrnce over
the snow crust, and would all gather in o
circle around the lamps in mute astonish-
ment By and by their eyes would begin to
water from the intensity OF the light, and as
drop after drop rolled down It formed an
icicle from the ground up, which finally
froze solid TO the eye-balls and there we had
'em. Next morning all You had to do was to
take 'em by the tail and break 'em Off the
icicIesn
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
She Ignored Him,
TsNIIN

Lets 60 and call on Miss JONES' said one
dude 70 another. "Naw, don't think I like
her." replied the other one "Why notl
She's quite Dwight, think" because,
don't you know, took her dwiving last
evening, and when her sistah asked her II
she had had pleasant dwive. don't you
know, bah Jawve, she said, Yes, it was
such lovely horse.'" "Why, Cholly,
what's the hahn in thati Don't you like to
have youah horse complimentary "Yes.
hut don't yer know, old boy, whaiah do
.nu,a srr
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
Our Semi-Acquaintances

We have all of AS our strong likes and dis
LIKES in regard to countenanpes which are IA
miliar, yet really are those Of absolute stran-
gers. We ride day after day in the cays
with man whom we would gladly order
TO execution simply from objectionability
OF his personal appearances; or we pass on
the street every afternoon q woman whose
physiognomy entities her, in our opinion, to
canonization- In either case the sentiment
In regard to the face Is so definite and gen.
uine as 70 exercise an influence upon our
character aud temperament, yet we In real
ity know nothing whatever concerning
those people who thus change our lives
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

Chdft gtrtng the dntohnt OF phedt pToduced
in and exported from this country from
1874 TO 1884, inclusive.
but our progress has been Of a sub.
stantial character. such as manifest
its results in the future and not
in the immediate present. Great
fortunes are not now amassing in a day, a
month or year, but the largest population
probably $1,000. .0OO-that this country
ever saw has in 1884 planted more, grown
more and produced more from nature, the
spring of all wealth, than in any previous
year. Our very richness in production has
contributed largely to our nominal shrink
age in wealth, and made necessary redis-
tributici of human energy, that it may be
the morr proftably employed.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
A New style.
rwrhitahan sTitnas /

The coat was very bad ft-too fun In
the back.
sThatll never do,r said the customer. sits
like shirt ON bean pole"
aDot coat, mein trent" replied the dealsr,
ish very stylish garment Look at dot
back Mein gracious IL is ludy. See dot
beautiful pufiing-der latest style, and don't
you forget It. II was made on Fifth avenoo.
IL Is der Fadder Hubbard style, and Is actu-
ally worth - muca as live tolisr more for
dot cut Ani five minutes later the de-
lighted customer left tbs stors with bis
Father Hubbard coat
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

II wish I was an owL~ said the young
lawyer. as he gently felt the Dimensions OF
her alligator waist
''Whyp shs asked.
because ! could stay up all night, you
know, DEAR he replied.
"What would ycu want TO do such
ridiculous thing as that forr'
ITO wit: To WOO"
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
Thought He Had 'em,

A southern gentleman stepped up TO the
register OF q prominent hotel the other day,
and glanced hurriedly at the open page.
1Helpi Got 'en againr he shrieked, start
ing back
Heavens, mani" What's the matterr
asked the clerk
HMatteri Why, I've got 'em again.
sGot what arf"
1Why, the delirium trsmens, you fool"
AOh, nonsensei You're all straight enough.
Let me give you q room.'
sNo, sir You look there on that book.
Don't you see that Shiny serpent crawling
thsrsr
awhy, no. sir. Thats only an editors sig
nature"
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
NEWSPAPER pECIsIoNS

1. Any one who takes paper regularly FROM tho
Postoice-whether directed 10 his name or anothers
or whether he has subscribed or not-is responsible
for the payment. .....
.. II person orders his paper discontinued, he
must pay all arfearages, or the publisher will con-
time to send itunt payment 10 made and collect the
office or not
3. Thecourts have decided that refusing to take
the newspapers or periodicals from the PostoGce or
removing and leaving them uncalled for 10 primo
fgcte evidence of intentional fraud, -.
Papers ordered TO any address can be changed to
another address ct the optisn Of the Subscriber
Remittsnces BY draft check, money order OF resis-
tered letter. may te sent at cur risk All Postmasters
are required TO register letters on application.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
EMPRESS EUGENE.


From portrait made twenty years ego
War, with hideous devastation,
War. with cries and crimes accurst,
Scattered doom upon a nation,
Gave you peace at Chiselhurst.
Not for long. for Death, tine traitor,
Laid your love and husband low!
Death, the coward, waiting later
To infiict fercer blow!
Patiently you bore it, though,
Pride Of twenty years ago!
Gentle lady, all must love you,
For your pain that hitter day,
When you prayed. and Col above you
Took the son you loved away.
Every heart OF English m ther
Felt your pang of widowed grief,
Asking Time your loss to smother,
Begging prayer to send relief!
So work on the wheels Of woe,
Started twenty years agol
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

On one Of the trains coming into st. Paul
was man who was the worse for liquor and
inclined to be loud. The conductor remon-
strated with him; but he was a man resigned
TO his fate and refused to be quiet aTt don't
make much difference" he said; "I'n going
10 the devil anyway. My relatives are few.
They can all ride in bus and carry the
cofln on their knees Tie fsneral expensssn
Be- lghtn
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
What Killed the Doctor.
I6alt Lake Tribune.I

l6alt Lake Tribune.
Il zee DR.. Blister Is dead,n
sWbat did be die Off a.--.s
aHs died Of bilious fever.n
Il am surprised to bear that, because be
boasted be could cure me Of bilious fever"
@How much did he charge your
aHe charged me fearful bin. Ibelieveit
was upward Of $500
4Well, that explains why hs did not cure
himself. He waa close man, and at those
figures b. couldn't afford to cure himself
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
spindle CITY style.

Every fashionable girl now wears small
lobster on her breast IL In, perhaps, the
better way to wear lobster, though we
have occasionally worn them in our stomach
with more or less satisfaction to ourselves,
bpt. then, We wouldn'G recommend a dear,
sweet, fashionable girl to foIl9w cur vulgar
style, not for the worldi
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

Portland tOre.) News: An Idaho editor,
having received GOO pounds OF potatoes on
subscriptions asks his frienls to call around
with salt and pepper and board with him.
Thus the generous heart Of the good mar
gets away with him
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
The highest and lo,cest prices paid per
bushel for No. Q toheat at Chicago from

The highest and lo,cest prices paid per
bushei for No. Q toheat at Chicago from
1874 to 1884, Inclusive.
A year that produces l, 800, O0O, 900 bushels
Of corn surprising every previous years
record, and nearly 10 per cent ahead Of last
year that grows $40. 00o, 900 bushels OF wheat,
against 4l0, ,00o, 900 bushels in 1883, and 5l0,.
000, 900 bushels in 1882; and that produces
hay, potatoes and oats in rich abundance,
cannot be set down as an unprosperous year.
A yield Of cotton large enough for all needs,
and for which the world is paying prices that
will enrich the poorest section OF the coun-
try; petroleum production Of above $26,-
000, 900 barrels, and not far from the largest
on record; an output OF coal probably ex-
ceeding, anthracite and bituminous COM
hined, any other year; and a production of
pig iron, though II per cent. less than last
year, still somewhat larger than in the CEN
sus year Of 1880, are great facts in 1884 that
cannot be looked upon with dismay.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

ISew York Mail and ExprosSl
.Pa,n asked little boy, (which saint was
it that said Take little wine for the
stomach's sakef'
..5t Paul, believ-.n
Il thought it was Ct John
mo. St John Is prahihitionist,N
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
ghsy Pidn't Give Credit.

The editor Of The Geneva Patrol, In q re-
cent issue, rscounts with grief that out Of
twenty-five editors who had opinions on
certaip state Of things, hs was the only ana
among Shsm who dersd 10 write what b.
thought-and what they thought
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
Vandalism I'm the Lime Kiln Club.
Detroit Free Pressl

The bastard who entered Paradise hall the
other evening by way of the roo, and car
rid of three skulls Of Oliver Cromwell, may
never be brought TO punishment in this
world, as he left no clews behind. but he
will certainly catch 1t red-hot in the next.
The club has now only two skulls Of Oliver
left, and these win be carefully locked In
the big safe and preserved to posterity.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
Twensy.One Couples.
fC,hicaco Herald

A remarkable wedding party Is to be held
IN Missouri. Twenty-one couples from the
northsru counties Of the state have agreed
70 gs& married at ths same time and place.
There will b banquet for 200 guests, and
then bridal tour by the new husbands and
wives In company.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
Hew 20 Learn when Hubby Comes
Home,
philadelphia CALI

am determined to learn at what hour my
husband comes home nights. yet. do what
win, cannot kesp awake. and he Is always
careful not to maks particle nf nose. L
there any drug which produces wakefnl-
ness i-Wifs. No need to buy drugs
Ss~inkIe the loor with tackx
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
4 Sad FUTURE
fCh,caso Haralfi 4

Ths bright little son Of . senator evidently
thought that the senate was m hereditary
institution; for when asked what he in
tended to b ON reaching manhood. he
mournfully answered: swell, I'd like 10 10
hack-drivsr, but s'pos IN have to b. :
sQuator.s
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
ably Defended, Dae--
lPuck.l

There il story Of a man who was tried
for stealing pair Of trousers. He was ably
defended, and the jury brought in verdict
of not guilty. Tue prisoners counsel col
Looted his fee and then said to the vindicatsd
statesman:
.'Well. get out You're frea"
"rll wait I'LL he goes.n returned the vic.
tim OF slander, pointing to the plaintiff. u
don't want him to SEQ me.n
.'Why notf'
"iCause I've got them breaches on.s
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

from q recent Photography
Calm, impassive, royai lady,
You are with us-that is best;
Where the trees are green and shady,
In an English home at rest
All the bitter past is ended,
All the fever and the fret;
Least that's said is soonest mended:
Draw the curtain, and forget
Flowers Of life and sorrows snow,
Hopes of twenty years agol
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
THE CHANGE IN TWENTY YEARS.

Twenty yearsi how full Of sorrow,
Ger this gentls head have past;
Days so dark that no tomorrow
BIZ u int redemption from the last.
What a change from all the glory,
All tn, pomp and all the pridel
Lik Roman pair in story. ..-@
Z npress by your husbands sidei
Lift the curtain. soc the show,
Paris, twenty years agol
Twenty yearsl Look backi Remember,
Cheers were borne upon the breezs,
With the man Of dark December
Throned beneath the Tuilleriesi
ScorcEe | with fire, with cannon shattered,
Stands the palace, hushed the song;
Luxury and beauty scattered,
Swept away the giddy throng.
Such was life-an empty show.
Paris, twenty years agol
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

uncls Npski Men eften climb halfway up
ths lAdder and stay there; but it Il seldom
thsy faM halfway down and stop short os
tho bottom
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

Regular advertising payable quarterly, as due.
Transient advertising payable In advance.
Special Notices are 80 per cent wore than reg.
liar advertisements.
Local advertising. Is cents Cor the first insertion
20 cents per line for each succeeding insertion;
lines counted in Nonpariel measure.
lob Work payable on delivery.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27

Celestial Yam Foo Lee, who carried Oh the
aophomore class prizs for English compost
tton In Yale college, turns up as the besi
chese player IN New Haven
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
A New Swear Word.
IS..x YORK 0rnnhicl

sFluid extract OF cucaiyptusglobulus 4
highly recommended In whooping cough"
Shake well aili take one syllable after each
meol
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-02-27
ore.s. Avn AItoona burxl

Progress: An Altoona burglar went into
. woman's room and hid uni'r tho bel. or
course hs was found. A burglar who has No
more knowledge OF his business than This
should ~ hung straight on on general pain-
ciple&