The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-01-15
HUMOROUS.


never popping.
The sluggard is told to go to the ant,
but in nine cases out of ten he goes to
the "uncle."
"What is the boundary that separ-
ates smile from a tear?" "Give it
up" "The nose"
An eel was found in a can of milk
recently, and it didn't appear to be at
all out of it's element.
Ananias has very bad reputation,
but it can be said to his credit that he
never wrote circus circular.
Pork is the only thing that we hap
pen to call to mind just at the moment
that can be cured after it is dead.
An exchange asks how to remove
paint. We have found that coat
sleeve will remove a great deal of it.
never met fractions goat,
Especially when the field is wide,
But that ache for many day,
And always on the butted side.
A little girl suffering with the
mumps declared she 'felt as though
a headache had slipped down into her
neck"
1t rains alike on the just and un-
just-on the just mainly because the
unjust have borrowed their UNI
brellas.
A boy says in his composition, thai
"onions are the. vegetable that makes
you sick when your don't eat them
yourself"
It is believed that Ananias died at
the right time to preserve his reputa-
ton. He wouldn't be considered much
of a liar these days.
A popularity in connection with
the inhabitants of the sea is, that while
they are all permanent residents the
entire population is strictly floating
one
"John, what is the best thing to
feed a parrot on?" asked an elderly
lady of her bachelor brother who hated
parrots. Arsenic" grufily an
swered John.
A delaware farmer has put down
10000 herrings as a fertilizer. His
theory is that the crops will hurry
INTO the air away from the smell of
The herrings. .r
A young man who was Tilted by his
girl and subsequently married her,
says she treated him like bottle of
patent medicine. He was shaken"
before taken.
'.No man can do anything against
his will" said metaphysician.
"Faith," said Pat, 81 had brother
!, who went to prison against his will
faith he did"
A Swedish chemist has discovered
that sea water contains alcohol. We
, don't know that this has any connec-
r ton with the expression "Half seas
, over" but it may.
| An exchange says that folded
| newspapers placed under the coat in
} the small of the back is an excellent
: substitute for an overcoat. Now is
z the time to subscribe.
l "What you doin' now, Bill?" "Noth.
in. Been doin' of it for three weeks
and 1 can't stand it much longer"
"What you goin' to do?" "Git
8 somebody to help me-
d Mistress to amiable servant maid
y Il am going to the opera this eve.
y ming, so shall probably be home
s late" Amiable maid: "Oh, you
y needn't apologize to me for that.
- Little George was questioned the
- other day about his big sisters beau.
Il "How old is hep" Il don't know"
. "Well, is he young?" 81 think so, for
he hasn't any hair on his head"
A young man who was courting a
> widow asked her if she objected to
smoking. "Oh, no." she said: ''poor
, John was very fond of tobacco, and
allowed him to smoke all he wanted
to-before wewere married"
. "You must come and see me, my
n DEAR" said a lady to little girl of her
A acquaintance. "Do you know my
# number?" ''Oh, yes, ma'am," re-
+. sponded the innocent child. Papa
q says you always live at skies and
~ sevens"
e Little Rudolph one day begged an
II invitation to dinner. At the table his
q hostess anxiously inquired: Rudolph.
a can you cut your own meat?'
a "Humph," said Rulolph, who was saw,
n ing away; "can't 7? I've cut up just
q rs tough meat as this at home"
a .'Pshaw, Katet' husband said one dag,
A In some domestic row;
i ''You used to be too awful nice,
Why amt you that way know
'1ts all your fault, she answered him,
3 THAT am changed OF late;
xxrrlj ,,o4 al. 49,, l-,o-
Did you not altercatel"