The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-03-07
.EH1GHToN, CARBON COUNTY, PA, SATURDAY,

. about the burglars as well as ali npou'
the alarm.
The letters from home did not mention
it, and SO it passed entirely from his
memory; and, as at last he found him
self on his homewari way upon night
train, which be had taken quite unex-
pectedly-for he had written the day be-
fore that he should not be back for a
week-it occurred 10 him that his ar
rival would be delightful surprise to
the family. lie had his latch-key with
him, and he quite chuekled over the
thought Of letting himself in and being
found snug in bed next morning.
"Won't there be time!" said he to
himself. Mall scream, The girls-l
can hear them laugh. And Sam will
pretend not to be astonished -ha, har
So, with his portmanteau in his hand,
Mr.. Jones, having reached home, as
oAnded the steps OF his domicle aud de-
liberateIy but softly proceeded to open
his front door.
As he did SO the alarm was sprung, a
racket aud iiuGl1 filled the house, and
simultaneously with that, Mrs. Jones,
the Misses Jones, Master Joues, the cook,
the chambermaid, and the waiter thrust
their heads out of their respective win
dovs and screamed NPolicew
Almost aa they did so two clubs struck
the avement and two giants in uniform
seized Mr.. Jones by the arms.
cab, got you this time cried one of
them. We've been looking for you for
some time, too"
"Let me CO." said Mr., Jones. "IliYe
here. It's mistake"
"Yes, I've no doubt it's mistake, >
said the policeman.
But tell them-tell them, let me offer
proof pleaded Mr.. Jones. They all
know me; tell them ITS Mr.. JONES'
Gle says it's Mr.. Jones'" cried the
policeman to nightcap aud shawl al
the window.
"Ny husband is In Chicago" said
Mrs Jones,
But she peered out nervously. How
eyer, gho did not recognize her husband
Mr., Jones had left home in tall la
and ovvrcoat, but during his absence ht
had unfortunately purchased travel
ing "ulster" that touched his heels. anC
Il cap. He wore both, as was natura
upon midnight journey.
No, 1 never saw that object before,
said Mrs. Jones. do take him away"
You'll appear tomorrow said th
policeman. you'll appear against him
ma amG"
Decidedly. 1 shall consider 1t m,
duty" said the lady, aud then shut tn
window.
Then Jones demonstrated with th
policeman. and begged him to have Nj
Smith next door called, aud was told t
hold his tongue. Jones was not mil
man. In few minutes his wrath boiIe
oyer; he attacked the policeman wit
umbrella hravely ami was totally defeat
ed. He arrived at the station-hcu
with black eye and bruise on hi
forehead, and irothing at the mouth wit
afI IN
been recognized by several experts Il
: Tommy the Taper" noted burglar
: for whose arrest large reward wa
offered. His valise was taken ava
from him, also his watch and poke
book, Is was shut up in cell with a
intoxicated tramp who had arrived a
that stage of delirium trelnens at whic
| snakes are the favorile delusion, an
g who took poor Mr.. Jones for one, or se'
9 eral of them, aud insisted on treading o
4 his head,
In argument and single combat wit
3 this gentleman Mr.. Jones passed ID
the hours until morning, when he VIC
e taken from his highly perfumed sequei
3 tration and dragged through the blea
streets to n court OF justice, where h
, attempted to explain matters once MOI
and was still explaining them withor
producing the slightest sffeot upon an
one, when his wife and son arrived.
! Even then the ulster. the cap, and ii
black eye deceived poor Mrs. Jones for
] few moments, and, bit for Sam, thel
is no knowing what might have becon
i of the unhappy gentleman. Howeve
, Sam came to his rescue, and the thr'
. went hons together in cab, Mrs, Jone
moaning ard wrlnging her hands all II
, way, aud MIR. Jones threatening to ST
for a divorce.
He forgNvs his wife at last, boweve
but he never forgave the alarm, which
demolished forthwith.