The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-06-26
PENCILINGS FROM LIFE.

"What makes you think he's smar
manp'
L "Why, bless your soul, boy, he car
whittle with both hands, play the tid-
die, talk Dutch, and go home with the
best-looking girl from party every
time"
"He's nice man, isn't hep'
''Well, he may be, but l don't just
like him."
\ "Why?"
: "Well, don't exactly know; but ]
reckon it's because he says Chewsday,
and eats pie with his knife
"Bill, if you could make a wish and
have it gratiiied, what would it beF
Just one wish. mind youp'
well, l believe I'd say give me
about as much of everything as wo-
man can see at a glance"
"Heavensl do you want the whole
earthP"
you're not afraid of the dog. are
you bub?"
mo, ma am"
'Well, then, why don't you come
right in? He won't hurt YOU"
I'm too timid, ma am-that's what
ails me. I'm always bashful when
there's dogs about"
'I've heard them say that Mosbey' s
wife is a very studious woman"
"Well, guess you'd think so your
self If you had boarded with 'em as
long as l have"
"Why SOP"
"Why, she stews about everything
that goes on to the table, and keeps
him in stew all the time BESIDES"
''The conversation wandered to
fruit.
"Some people can tell by the feeling
of watermelon whether it is ripe or
not, but l never COULD" said one.
Il have test that never fails" said
Mockabee; land l can tell to dead
certainty every time whether the mel
on is ripe OF green"
''How in the world do you do it?"
"Plug it."
'Bub," said man to a small boy
81 heard some of the children in your
school had the itch. How is itP'
"Well, us boys thinks the Gibleys
has got it,"
"What makes you think so?'
"Why, you see they've got sores all
over their hands,"
''Do they scratch?"
eyes, sir; they scratch their heads"
"Drockley's wife is mighty neat
hOuSekeeper, now, isn't shep"
Eyes"
"He ought to be happy"
perhaps so, but he can't be-"
"Why not?'
''She don't give him time, for when
ever he gets near the house she keeps
him so busy cleaning his boots that the
bird of joy escapes him."
'In my opinion, animals are color
blind"
II don't believe it."
al do. have been trying some ex-
periments which convinced me that
none of our domestic animals can dis
tinguish colors."
''Try another, and you'll change
your mind"
whats thatp'
"Robe yourself in red shawl and
walk through field where a bull is
grazing
A minister was demonstrating with
q drunkard about the evil of
his way, and trying to persuade him
to reform.
"It's no Cic) use; can't do it," said
the sot.
Eyes. you can, and you must, oryou
will be forever lost"
Wont 1 know where 1 Cic)
am p''
"Yes; you will know that you
are in the lake CT fire and brim-
stone'
Fire n brimstone?"
"Yes.n
"Well, if you'll Cic) JUS make it
birthstone n molasses I'll eat my way
out. Zee if | don Cic)."
"Papa, l saw Door little boy to-day
that felt awful sorry for"
That's right, my boy. We should
always pity the poor. Did you divide
your pennies with himP"
mo, no, papa; it wasn't that kind
D poor 1 mean. He didn't need no
money"
"Oh, sec; the little fellow was sick,
nav be"
mo, not that, either, papa
"Then what allied him?"
"Why, nothing, only the poor boy
hadn't never been TO circus in his
whole life. Wasn't il shame?"-
Chicago Ledger.
A Short Study in Misery.
a f,.;1a.,.l La l. saraa,.foatlx. nc