Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-06-25

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One afternoon in midsummer, as she
sat pensively on the veranda, stran-
ger entered the road gate and ap-
preached the house. He carried q
small vahse, and appeared dusty and
fatigued. A peddler, of course, was her
conclusion.
Made aware by painful experience of
Juliana Keziah's similarity to Toodles,
DR.. Hackemup warned her every day
against agents OF "Cheap Johns" of
any kind, threatening her with direst
vengeance should she purchase from
one of these "vagrants" so much as q
paper Of pins.
As the stranger neared the porch he
removed his hat. bowing with insinuat-
ing address and such an admiring
glance in her direction that her heart
softened at once toward him, while her
husbands parting injunction disap-
peared from her memory under the in
fuence of his ingratiating smile like
dew before the morning sun.
Madam" began he, II am exclusive
agent for the beautiful Jersey, aptly
styled The Ladies' Pet May I not
include you among my list of purchas-
ers ?"
"Oh, I don't know" said Mrs. Hack
emup, shat I need anything of the
kind in the country"
Pardon me, madam" politely inter-
rupted the stranger, "the country is
just the place to show its advantages.
1t is so lively and frisky, perfect in
shape and color"
II prefer scarlet or blue" interposed
Juliana Keziah. "Haveyou those colors,
with crotchetty buttons? ?"
The agent looked somewhat mys-
tefied, but after q moment answered,
briskly:
Really, / never have dealt with
them -except in. Yhifaucee' SIrksp dRs.-Qt
they never butt, they are good for many
a pound of butter. Their bags are al
ways large and well filed"
"Oh," exclaimed his hearer, sur
prised, edo you throw in one of those
lovely pump-and-dairy bags with the
Jersey?"
"Of course" replied the agent, sur
prised in his turn, "and not only that,
but you must consider the calves. They
never fail to appear in due season, and,
not being of the spindling kind, they
are certainly both useful and orna-
namental."
Juliana Keziah bridled.
II have no use for artiphysical
calves" said she, "but 1 should like a
Jersey, well braided, without gores."
"The finest breed in the country" I"
cried the agent enthusiastically. "Good
for show, good for wear; there is no
hustle anywhere about them"
,s,! II hsYse hsaargdl,s. saargdl,.s.ss ssid Mrs. H.. athat
"These are the Simon-pure article.
Let me induce you to take one. You
are not obliged to pay until you receive
the jersey"
"Well," hesitated the lady, almost
persuaded, what do you charger"
"Oh, we will not quarrel about the
price. just sign Your -nanae TO thet or
der; you may never have such another
opportunity"
Juliana Keziah, overcome by his elo-
quence, and inwardly rejoicing at her
bargain, signed her name to the order.
"Now, madam" said the polite agent,
insinuatingly, would you not like to
buy gentleman Jersey as a compan-
ion for your beautiful Ladies' PetT
I have just one left, so gentle and
mild"
"Dr. Hackemup," said Juliana
Keziah, spitefuHy, doesn't care at all
for dress, nor would anything mild be
as opprcbious to his style as cross
Just the JnInB i-I-----rt~a tiro
eager seller. II have a fine Alderney
and several crossed with short-horns.
How would they suit?"
"Well, said J. X, obviously, "Old
dern sounds rather profane, although" !"
resentfully, "it is no more desultory
than the epitaphs he heaps upon me
every day. But, really, should think
horns, however short, would be very
inconvenient.
II assure you they do not poke"
Il hope not, indeed" answered the
lady, tartly. "He is poky enough now
about everything except scrimping.
But what would you charge for both Z"
"Well," rejoined the agent, thought
fully, "Pd like to favor you, so if you
take the PAIR, I'll let you have them for
five hundred dollars-two hundred and
fifty dollars apiece-and dirt cheap at
that"
Five hundred dollarsl" F" screamed
Juliana Keziah, aghast. "Two hundred
and fifty dollars for Jersey waist!"
"No waste about them," said the
agent, sturdily, "good for beef, butter,
and milk; as fine Jersey bull and COW
as ever set eyes upon. You've or
dered the COW; now do buy the BULL"
Juliana Keziah uttered q yell that
would have made the reputation of an
opera singer,
"Buy what bullp" beloved DR..
Hackemup, suddenly appearing on
the scene in time to catch the agents
last words and his confiding partners
howl.
ave need no bulls, young man, but
you will be squeezed by a bear in mo-
ment if you do not depart at once and
with dispatch" glaring fiercely at the
terrified agent, who backed rapidly
toward the gate, explaining volubly
that the lady's order for Jersey COW
was in his possession, and that he
would forward the animal as soon as
possible, with q lawyer to collect the
bill.
Mrs. Hackemup, between anger and
fright, intermingled her excuses and
lamentations in such delightful confu-
sion that il was sometime before DIR.
Hackemup's desire for an explanation
was gratifed. When that gentleman,
however, fully understood the case his
rage knew no bounds. Hopping franti-
cally around the low veranda, as
though dancing a Jig on red-hot iron,