Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-02-12
AN UNHAPPY CONGRESSMAN.
He is Slowly Writing Himself to
Death for His Constituents.

He is Slowly writing Himself to
Death for His Constituents.
''It isn't all the perfume of flowers
! and the smiles of fair women to be a
member of congress. We don't feed
on locusts and wild honey and sleep
on down, said a weary member as he
tilted back in his chair and brushed
aside the heap of letters piled upon his
desk. He had a haggard look upon in
his eye, and his right hand hung limp
at his side with a pen between the
! fingers. eff anybody thinks its clover,
let hlm try it! [ started out with the
idea that it was my duty to answer
every letter I got. Well, have in
volved myself in problem of geome-
trical progression, "and he pointed in
despairing sort of way at the desk
before him, the ample waste basket by
his side and the floor about him-all
| full Of letters. ''They are accumula-
ting every day. Every one I answer
brings two more, and [ answer them
all. Just think of it! 1t makes my
head swim, When I first came here
[ used to go out little. I went to the
theater occasionally, or to an enter
talnment, or to reception, or to see
a friend. Now I 60 nowhere. Each
year [ am more closely confined. The
walls are closing in around me, and
like the man in the Iron Shroud, I
am waiting for them to close in and
crush me. I've stopped going out. I
leave my com mittee room at the cap
itol only to go to my desk at home. I
swallow my dinner whole, as it were.
write late at n1ght-later each
night. The progression is work
ing out, and my mails bigger every
day. Presently I shall have to sit up
all night; then reduce my meals to
five minutes; give up smoking. Write,
write, writel Oh-well-think! 'Tis
a terrible doom; slowly to write Cne's
self to death. The pile of letters is
up to my neck. Soon it'll be over my
head-daylight vii be shut out-and
then!
'No, sir; we don't live in clover. "
And he drew long breath and set
tied himself down in his chair as if
resigned to his impending doom.
''Why, it started this way-it al
ways has start; any member will
tell you-it started this way: AS soon
as got to congress I got a letter from
one Of my constituents ngratulating
me upon my election, and saying that
he knew now there would be some
! legislation; the constitution should
not be violated; must introduce a
bill in the house to prohibit fishing in
my district with three hooks to one
line-'twas unconstitutional. [ an
swered that letter, bewailing the utter
disregard of congress for the national
fisheries, and explaining the utter
uselessness of attempting class legis
lation. That settled it. ] got four let
ters from that neighborhood by re-
turning, mail, and they kept on in
creasing until the entire population
was represented by autograph letters.
NY promptness to answer all let
ter was heralded all over the country
and was asked to pass all sorts of
bills, from one to regulate the length
of prayers to one for the suppression
of kissing at pound parties. One man
wanted to know whether the rope
Guiteau was hung with was hemp or
cotton. [ referred the letter to the
department of Justice. The attorney
general indorsed it to the warden of
the Jail, who returned it to me with a
minute offcial description of the rope
the material, length, and manner
Of make. This contributed largely
to increase my correspondence. Every
body who had something to write
about that no one else would notice,
was told my address with the as
surance that I loved to write letters.
A large number of my letters now
are applicants for places under the
new administration. One man
wanted place that would take him
to Canada. He did not know what
particular place. His doctor told him
that it would benefit his health to
live there, and if I would just look
around and find place there for him
with a pretty good salary attached he
woald like it. But, by the way, be
had children just growing up.
might take this into consideration,
and get him located where there were
good free schools.
Another fellow wrote that he
would leave it to me to pick out a
coed place for him, but mustn't get
the salary below 81, 200. He thought
I'd be better judge of good places
than he was.
Some men may refer these letters
to the waste basket, but it don't do.
They must be answered. must
write; good by. mustn't waste more
time talking. I'll have to sit up
late to make up for it. I must write.
The walls are closing around me-"
well, my good fellow, what can I
do for you?' and he turned to sup
plant IN soldier clothes, who stood at
his elbow with persistence in his face
and glazed cap in his hands.
Il am an American by adoption.
In SO l married an American woman
with a mule-her grandfather left it
! to-
But at this moment the petitioner
was trust aside by Mexican pension
er, who wore three medals and had
been a personal friend of Win SCOTS,
and wanted his pension increased.