The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-18
JARPHLY.s RECEIPT.


He Thinks Dish of Herbs Better Than a
Stalled Ok, but Gets Left.
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Martha" testify remarked Mr. Jarphly,
''whyinthunder can't you do things nice, like
other womenp Mr. Jarphly was seated at the
dinner table in very cranky humor. He had
had hot discussion with q man upon civil
service reform, and. the man told him he knew
nothing about the matter, and called him
''galoot." Not only lad he called Mr.. Jarphiy
a .galoot," but had added injury to insult by
citing facts and figures to prove it. He was
bottled up his wrath and brought it home for his
wife.
Some men have that habit.
why can't you get up appetizing dishes like
other women! continued the djsgruntled civil
service reformer
''Why can, jeremiah" quietly remarked
Mrs Jarphly, whose complacency was not to be
disturbed by any ebulltion of temper the part
of the reformer, for the lady had that morning
spent three hours in engineering dilapidated
polonaise with split up its back into basque
to match dark overskirt; and having, by the
assistance of much pursuing of lips and bending
of eyebrows, and navigating of scissor-points in
geometrlcal lines over her knees, accomplished
the feat felt a placid equanimity known to all
true women who have conquered a polonaise,
split up the back.
mo you don't" snapped Mr. Jarphly. ''You
spend money enough for things, but you amt
got the know how!n
Mrs Jarphly smiled. and Mr.. Jarphly won
dered if he could borrow money enough to take
him to Alaska.
There's Mrs. Ploughgit," he continued.
"Why can't you cook like herr went to dinner
the other day with Ploughgit, and what do you
suppose they had9'
''What?"
''They had lots of things, but what took my
eye was some carrots! N.Y. but they were deli
cious! didn't eat anything else-nothing. but
IL - IL e.
and Mrs. Ploughgit had them fixed out with a
white sauce with some sort Of sour things in it
a, what do you call emf"
"CapersP suggesten Mrs. Jarphly.
YES, capers. tell you, but it was an i'm
mense dsh!"
'Mrs. Ploughgit mebbe can afford such things"
quietly remarked Mrs. Jarphly.
''Afford!" cried Jarphly in derision. ''Why
asked her, and what do you think it costp
GLOW much"
1.-TWO centsw fairly yelled Jarphly "Ye'm,
two cents! That's what it costs Mrs. Ploughgit
to get Up a dish fit to set before king! She
used two big carrots, and they cost her just
penny apiece in the market, she told me. Now
why can't you do something like thatW
Mrs. Jarphly opened her lips to make reply,
but like sensible woman closed them again,
and allowed Mr.. Jarphly to enjoy his i'll humor.
At dinner next day Mr.. Jarphly found dish
of fried carrots done up with sauce in a style
that beat Mrs Ploughgit's all hollow.
well, declare, Martha, he exclaimed, "you
do know something Those are splendid"
Mrs. Jarphly smiled.
MIR. Jarphly vigorously applied himself to the
dish Now just look how we'll we can live on
little expenditure if we only have the know
how, he remarked with feeling of self lauda-
ton, for having impregnated Mrs. Jarphly's
mind with a notion of dressed carrots '"That's
as good as roast beef to nae any day, or spring
chicken either, said he, land if you'd only used
little skill and brains you could easily save
enough out of the table money to buy yourself
spring silk every year"
"Not On carrots" quietly remarked Mrs.
Jarphly.
''What9" exclaimed her husband.
"Not on carrots, Jeremiah. I'd just as lief so
far as expenses goes, give you spring chicken or
roast turkey, for that matter
why, Martha you must be crazy" cried Mr..
Jarphly.
'Not at ALL" placidly responded Mrs Jarphly
''You wanted carrots done up like Mrs. Plough
gifts and | did 'em for you They cost about six
shilfings."
$50 way"
Fact" coolly replied Mrs Jarphlv
"How in thunder do you make that outg'
Carrots two cents. Half pound of butter
to fry them brown in sixteen cents Quart of
milk for sauce eight cents Two eggs to break
in the sauce five cents. Bottle of capers forty
cents. Half a teaspoonful of Liebig's extract to
give piquant to the sauce flavor, fifty cents
small jar. Of course"
ooh, shut up!'
Jeremiah, the next time you discover dish
can save UP spring silk on just bring it around,
won't your and Mrs. Jarphly smiled a smile of
triumph