The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-06-13


room for improvement.
There's nothing half so sweet in life
as to arrive at Il girls house in time to
find that the bull dog has satisfied
his appitite On the other fellow who
got there ahead of you.
The latest choice boarding-house
horror is rock-and-rYe bread. 1t is
made of rye meal and is as hard as a
rock. Landladies and dentists have
formed a pool to push it.
There will be great demand for
lock-jaw doctors in Russian Poland.
The Gar has issued an ukase that
hereafter no language but the Russian
shall be taught in the public schools
of that country.
A recent medical journal recon-
mends chloride of gold for certain
cardiac diseases. Why, that is old.
Ever since the first breach of promise
case, gold has proved an unfailing
specific for lacerated heart,
The women of New York have de-
cided not to have club house after
all. This is a wise decision. 1t will
obviate the necessity of incurring the
expense of an extra night key in each
home.
A Kansas man has got o divorce
from his wife and married her daugh-
ter by a former husband, and they are
living together amicably. This shows
that it is easier to shake a wife than a
mother-in-law'
Minneapolis girls have red rib
bon clubs with the motto: "The lips
that touch wine shall never touch
mine" Minneapolis is "a great
town for beer.
Elder Sam Jones informed Chat
tanooga audience the other night
dancing is hugging set to music
This makes dancing come third in
line with camp meetings and skating
Kinks.
There are some occasions when il
does not pay to be pariamentary-as
for instance, when Fairhaven
(Mass.) fire engine company stopped
in the street to elect foreman pro
TEN, before putting stream on {
burning building.
"Wilful Waste makes Woful Wantp
The wears daughter-"Hore's some
beautiful new foolscap papa has sen
you to cover the jam pots, cookp
Cook-"Oh. it's pity to waste that
miss Some of masters old sermon,
would do just as we'll"
A telegraph reporter says that the
daughter of New Jersey farmer rar
off with one of her fathers hands.
does not state which hand, but if i
were the one the old gentleman useC
to slap mosquitoes with, it was mos
unfilial act.
Mrs. Mulvany (the laundress) )-Tn
dade, ma am, an it's miserable l am
am but jist on my feet wild the pail
in me back, an Jimmy he's as bad off
he has cough ON UNI that sound
loike an Imply bar'l. Cough for TIN
lady Jimmy"
A recent invention is claimed to b.
able to reduce the temperature of
room to S5 degrees below zero. 1t i
doubtless something in the line OF al
electric bell to call the old gentleman
into the'room when his daughter ha
her young man for company.
A man in Salisville, Ohio, has bul
let in his head, which can be heard t,
rattle when he moves about. His wifi
might utilize him as a rattle to anus
the baby, but he absolutely refuse
to have his better half "shake him.
An exchange notes that there ar
other fields OF ambition for young wo
men than walking quarter-miles il
quarter hours, and points to the Con
necticut girl who achieved five di
vorces in five consecutive years, an'
she is still in goo6condition.
"What did your husband think o
the play last eveningY" asked Mrs
Yeast OF her neighbor, Mrs. Crimson
beak, the other morning. "Oh, h
thought it was very dry" "Did h
say so?" "No, he didn't say so; bu
he went out between the acts" "Wel
that's proof enough certainly"
Barnum's Jumbo walked owe
Brooklyn bridge the other evening
with a poet on his back. The poe
was chosen because it was thought j
the bridge went down the loss woul
fall chiefly on Mr.. Barnum and not O
the world.
The Chinese soldier receives $57
year, andis paid once a month in scra
bullion. There is only one advantag