The Labor enquirer., 1885-05-23
Answers to Correspondents.

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PROF. W. BLACKSTONE DU BIFF, Lii. D..
Some one Of the lower classes sent me
copy of your valuable paper. | seethe
term Socialism" used frequently IN its
columns. This expression is doubtless a
provincialism. Please give its deriya-
tion and its local meaning. -fE ~
ANswER-It can hardly interest you,
professor, for you have a large salary.
Socialism is the science of division of
property, as you might have learned by
asking an editor of some county paper,
or any smart preacher. An equal divi-
sion of wealth in the United States
would give each person about $l07. If
you own more than this you will of
course oppose the doctrine. AS most
tramps and laborers, and in fact all of
the lower classes, possess less than $107,
they are Socialists, and want part of
your salary. -.
A few men among the rough element
mot many as yet, thank Heaven y actu-
ually think they are entitled to $107, be-
cause they build houses, raise crops, run
machines and do all kinds of work.
They know nothing about supply and
demand or they would see that the i'm
mense demand for professors and edi-
tors, and the very limited demand for
houses, food, ETC., must be left to regu-
late their reward as we'll as yours and
mine. 1t is Natures law.
These Socialists fail to see that all
wealth cannot be turned into dollars, and
could not be divided. They could not
divide up a wooIen mill, giving each his
share of wheels and spindles, to take
home and guard against thieves. Then
who would have the boiler and engine
They would need to be cut into several
pieces, vet, the Socialist cannot see that
they would be useless after that process.
How would they divide up street car,
each person having his share drive up
to his own door? The idea is absurd.
Give your aid, professor, in combating
these growing errors.
FARMER. Thumper's Hollow, Kentucky
Please describe Socialist.
ANs.-Thls question following so ap-
propriately after the previous one shows
an exceedingly startling coincidence.
Coming as they do from the two ex-
tremes of society, they demonstrate the
clairvoyant principle. The Socialist has
not been placed, by learned men, among
any of the known races of men. He
seems to be in the midst of all peoples,
but like none. In his normal condition
his eye glares, his hair stands upon end,
and he nervously fumbles at the bombs,
pistols, knives and cannons, which he
carries at his belt and pockets. Yet
many of them have disguised them
selves and mingled with society, appear
ing like other persons. This makes their
existence the more dreadful. In their
assembled meetings they have been seen
in all their fierceness. They cultivate
rage, pick their teeth with sabres, and
wipe their faces with bowie knives. Still
they seldom hurt one another. Kings,
mobiles and our useful and virtuous mo-
nopolists are their game. They are not
lacking in talent and skill, as their many
inventions prove. With them originated
gunpowder, dynamite, the gatling gun,
repeating rifles and revolvers, and all
the improved devices used in war. They
are continually inventing new instru-
ments for killing men. Had all this
talent been directed properly, they
might have been capitalists. Except for
them the world would never have known
war. For centuries they have mingled
with mild people who never made war,
and stirred up strife. Benevolent, kind
hearted kings, who view the slaughter of
the battlefield with horror, have been
forced to call their loving subjects from
their blows to resist the invasion of So
cialists. 1t is safe to say that no battle
ever was fought that was not directly
the work of Socialists. The police and
militia look lovingly upon these poor
men and want to reclaim them by kind
words.
GROCERY CLERK writes-The book
keeper in our house gets $25 per week,
and works six hours per day. l wrestle
barrels and boxes for 81 week, working
evenings. Is this right? State what, in
your opinion, governs the reward to
labor.
ANs-Supply and demand regulates
your salary, but not that of the book
keeper. The same thing may be seen in
the officers of a railroad and the court of
a monarch. "Vested rights" give the
railroad president and the monarch big
money for no work. Between the presi-
dent and the useful workers we see q
long list of favorltes with carefully
graded salaries. We call them BUFFERS
as they modify the abrupt descent from
the $4,000 per year of the president to
the $500 per year of the track-layer,
These graded salaries act as bats for the
lowest to look at, admire and aspire to,
so they will be contented. The big ones
tell the mud-sills that supply and de-
mand is the tyrant, but this is not true,
for presidents are generally watching for
place to reduce salary by finding
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