Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-06
BRIGHT BITS.

Canada. -lts1o York Jo,sraG'.
Mr. YAHDFRBILg hss no yacht. Il may be
a Kindness TO remind him that the Great
Eastern Is for saie.-E1shahge.
INSURANCE AGESTs sre called assurance
aBSnts ~ England. They know what What
n England, don't they? They can spade
spade otoeR {'itis4s,.
THE elder Dumss as determined to leave
an original saying h6hnd him and SO he ad
vlsed MS readers. 'sBe liberal. Never refuse
money 70 any one but 4 creditor BachaRge
TIE Preshyteriahs are at loggerheads
again on the organ Question Anvhody who
has read the New Yark TriBuae win readily
understand why 30 many Presbyterians think
| an Organ iIFreNneila0.e with consistent
Christian life. -BoAtoa Transcript. -
AT A SuIITKBY ExANISATIoS--Oficer--
| Ihe opponents OF orr miltary system say that
standing arHles are disastrous 70 the country,
can you p&me anything that IS more disas-
trUueY Cadet-Yes, q Runaway army .--CrO-
NIX der Ge0eh5rtyt.
"HERR PROFESSOR, how do You like my
new tragedyF Very much, indeed. Is
peclaliy the rObDers-they are first rate. In
fact they are the best thieves ever heard of;
even the words they speak are stolen from
other books. "-SchtcaJisch Nerkur.
WHAT was the trouble at church Ii S
morning." inquired one Dakota citizen OF
another. II understand there was a row.
ION, 1t didn't amoupt to anything. Some Of
the members IN the back peWs threatened TO
shoot the minister unless he spoke louder
That was all."-LiTe.
A BIoGRAPHER OF PAGANINI saws the great
violinist played ''now ike an angel. now like
"A demOn-neVer like a mortal man. There
are thousands of yIollnists in this country
who possess one of Pays gifts. They don't
play like a mortal man-nOr an angel either
NOrrlstOa0n Herald.
RAGMAE-Madame, shust dventy-four
Biddy-Ye old sooundrel, it weighs over
for OF weighed it meself.
kagman-B 'leve me. madame, I wouldn't
sheas enid. But my scales Will only way
dYenty- pOunds.-LJe.
4 CERTAIN MASTER or HOUNDS sent as a
present J3ate dc Joie gras to a farmer in his
LOCALITY, who, IN acknowledging with much
gratitude the receipt of the dellcacy, assured
the donor that since his wife had dressed her
chllblains with the saYe she had experienced
the greatest possible rellef.-Eschdnge.
"WHERE are you going, my dear?" ppm
going shopping. hubby ibid you see what
sam Jones, the evangelist said about women
who 80 shopping mo; what was it?'
well, he said he'll is full of women who
spend their time in shopping Did he?
| Why, ! had no idea it was so delightful q
place. Chicago Nslos.
A DOG, having discovered a piece Of raw
beef in an alley, sat down to cOgitate aud
wonder. Was 10 really beef or mutton? How
did it get there? How was it that some other
dog had not discovered and appropriated it,
He was not yet through with his medita-
ti0ns when a second dog rushed in and spec &
! lily devOured the prize, but the meat was
scarcely down before he fell over and walled
out:
ALAS. but | am gone-up cannel The meat
was pOieOned!n
MOral-Never accept something for nothing
without stopping to ask yourself where the
profit comes In Detroit Free Press
He ran TO catch a horse-car,
But success did not sttnnd:
For engaged was the conductor
In cOuVcrsing N4tu a % g..
And he madly waved has handles.
shouted ''hi - with might and man;
And he fiOurished his umbrella,
But he lourished lt in vain;
For up on that conversation
The conductor would rot let;
So the other kept on running,
And he may be running yet.
boston Gdsotte.