Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-10-14
THE DEACON'S DINNER.

IHh DhAUUNO DlN IN LII,
The good housewives of the neigh
Uorhood often said that Mrs. Smart
ought to be the happiest woman in the
world.
"Such a nice house as she lives in y
said Miss Bryce, who, poor soul,
taught the district school, and "board-
Ell around" like the scape.goat in the
Scripture wildernesses.
"Such a pious man as the dear dea-
con is r. added Mrs. Hopkins, whose
better-half had once been sea-cap-
!ain. and was still apt to be profane
Dy fits and starts when the cattle got
nto the clover field, and the midnight
weasel marauded on his hen-coops and
urkey-roosts.
with a store carpet on the best
COON floor" put in Mrs. Jones, "and a
weekly newspaper, and white sugar in
her tea every day of her life, and a
aorse and wagon to take her to meet
in Sundays"
Such was the opinion of society as
represented in Glen Hollow. Perhaps
Mrs. Deacon Smart ,OaS a happy
woman. But we are told, on the very
oest authority, that "the heart know
eth its own bitterness"
Mrs. Smart was washing up her
best china, one morning, preparatory
to giving grand tea-party, and her
cousin, Ella Dale, was helping her,
when the deacon put his shining bald
head in at the door.
My DEAR" said he, "here is paper
of pins for YOU
Mrs. Smart nearly dropped a gilt
edged saucer, in her CONSERVATION.
"More pins!" said she.
Eyes. my dear said the deacon,
unctuously "Pins are always useful" "
'Oh, yes, pins" said Mrs. Smart,
giving her glass-towel toss as she
wiped the last globule Of moisture
from a goblet. "But not rows of rus
ty wire ! do say for it, Ebenezer-"
"Im going to Glen Depot, my dear y
the deacon somewhat hurrlelly inter
rnpted, at this juncture; "and perhaps
shan't be home until tne o'clock"
He withdrew, and Mrs. Smart turn
ed to Ella Dale with half laugh.
"There, my DEAR" said she. throw
ing down the faded green roll of pin
paper on the dresser, "there you be-
hold the secret of my domestic unhap-
piness, the skeleton in my closetr'
Ella opened her round hazel eyes
very wide.
81 can't think what you mean,
Juliana," said she. "You unhappy
and the dear deacon such truly good
manW
That's the trouble" said Mrs.
Smart; "he's too good"
II don't sec how that can be posi-
ble," protested Ella, more perplexed
than ever.
"And it's all at my expense" said
Mrs. Smart, dolefu!ly. "Do you see
that paper of pins?"
"Why, Of course see it," said Ella.
"Well, Mr.. Smart has bought that
paper of pins of a peddler at the door. u
! said Mrs. Smart. "Peddlers always
come here. This house is a Mecca to
the race of peddlers They know that
Mr.. Smart always buys of them--hes
too good-hearted to say DO; or rather
let us speak the truth and shame hin
who shall be name.ess between uS--he
is too indolent to resist their importu-
mites"
Ella burst out laughing.
"But what a very Insignificant
little trial " said she.
"Oh, yes, dafe say" said Mrs
Smart. "The sting of a hornet isn't
80 very terrible in itself. but when a
whole swarm is let loose upon you
what then?'
"a swarm9" repeated innocent Ella
my DEAR" said Mrs. Smart, lower
Ing her voice to confidential whisper
sup stairs in my bedroom closet
have eighteen papers of just sucf
cheap utterly useless for any
thing but to bend themselves up doub
lie when you try to put them through
q single thickness of calico, and to de
prive you of your temper just wher
you need it most; six cards Of porce
lain buttons-an article which neuei
use; nine packages Of stove -blacking
thirteen bottles of sewing machine oil
five papers of rusty needles; dozer
pairs of shoe-strings; and eight roll
of tape, which is an insult to one
common sense II l could reconcile /
to my conscience I'd fling the who'll
collection into the fire; but | wa
brought up to economic. What d,
. you think, Ella? Would it he a sin t
annihilate all these pitfalls to m,