Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-07-04
LEONE LOCAL CHAT.

A CLOSE CALL "
PERSONAL POINTS
INFoRMA ALTON
wANTED--&C.,&C.
Did you ever see such weather?u
That's what everybody asks me, and
might as we'll retaliate. What's
wrong anyway? Scientists want to
tell us that the newly developed sun
spots that are knocking Old Solaround
so grievously, have distracted his at
tention so that he neglects his duty
here even in harvest time. Looks
now like this old world might freeze
out instead of following in Sodom's
tracks. Sam Jones, the Georgia Re-
vivalist, says to people: Let us kick
this old world around like a foot ball.o
Better not try such base ingratitude.
Like as not some Salvation Army
crank has been giving just such advice
with regard to perhaps even a more
highly respectable world than this,
and the result is that they and their
world are now frying in the only
original crematory. But to get back
to the original topic-the weather.
IN. B.-If you find any more original
topic than that, let's have it,. It has
always been considered safe subject
to talk about, but even it will blow
you up sometimes. lust want to add
that it's as cold now as are the steely
type that repeat this, but like as not
when you read it on the morning of
the glorious 4th, the sun will have
come down as usual to help us cele-
brate at So in the shade.
*x*
Talking of our local show to-day, it's
going to be first-class. The boys who
" kicked against the extensive line
of march are to be furnished with BIZ
cycles and wheel barrows, and the
whole procession will be photograph
ed by the instantaneous process on the
march. Any Lodge" member who
may be suspected Of powdering or
painting for this occasion, will be
promptly elected from the ranks by the
Brown Brigade. Marshals, aides, and
officers in general, will please bear
this in mind. Those who contribute
to the occasion in either shekels, ora
tory, or their presence in ranks, will
be allowed to make all the mashes
they can.
The Masons ought to bring out their
famous festive goat to add to the gen.
eral festiveness.
The children of Nature will be here
Nature gone to seed. They will be
inquiring of Captain Hoke and others
Of our staid citizens, "who is prisi-
dent now," and if "Mr. Buser still
keeps the post Office" And they will
buy their annual supply ofpeanuts and
ginger bread, and hold fast to each
others hand while they stroll around
seeing the sights. I've never quite
made out whether this tender ten
dency of theirs is from amatory mo-
tives or from fear that they will get
lost in our vast avenues and parks and
crowded thoroughfares but / suspect
it's the latter. TO be continued next
week.
Occasionally some of the boys join
the noble army of Benedicts. Mr..
Ton" Turner is the latest addition
to the ranks, tho we hear that "still
there's more to follow" We proffer
Congratulations.
Louis Gerhardt has returned from
mental drill at Gettysburg with the
honorable discharge of a veteran, and
is now a Bachelor of Arts" Some
of the girls want to know if that
means "Artful bachelor" Louie,
can't you explain?
His friends will be sorry to learn of
his meeting with very narrow es-
cape from a fatal accident. While
walking outside the town there was
some promiscous shooting by parties
who did not notice him, and one ball
grazed his head, knocking him into
Inconsistencies for time. Rather too
close a call to be relished.
Prof. Carroll, of Harrisburg, was in
town Wednesday.
Miss Minnie Powell is visiting
friends on West King Street.
ID. s. Eichelberger, Jr., editor of the
West Virginia Democrat, spent Sunday
with friends in town. / notice that
his branch of the political family and
the Statesman are exchanging cOmpli-
ments nowadays.
Hugh McIlhenny is visiting in Get
tysburg, Penn.
The City Band excursion to Mont
Alto, ON the 9Th, promises to be an en-
joyable picnic. With every facility to
please all who want enjoyment and
fun, from dancing down to the search
for rest and quiet among the glens and
hooks that fill the place and make it
so delightful a resort.
Mrs. Earnest Waerwicke, of He'd
gesville, is agent for Berkeley Co. for
a handsome, interesting CyclopRdia
of the Presbyterian Church, compiled
by A. Rives, ID. ID. AS a history of
the early church, it is especially val
liable to Presbyterians.
N.Y.
have been asked why tho closing
exercises of school is called "Com-
mencement." Respectfully referred
to anybody who knows.
*x*
Talking of the weather, somebody
quoted that familiar saying about
there coming time "when we shall
not know the seasons except by the
leaf upon the tree" and attributed it
to the Bible. Will somebody be good
enough to give the author. An UNI
usually diligent search has failed to
reveal the Bible as authority for it.
LEONE.
W We are forced to ask those over
n year in arrears to The HERALD
for subscription, TO PAY UP Hard