News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-09-17
A LITTLE PAINTING.


Compliment, Etc, Etc.
LITTLE PAINTING.
Bromley-'I bought little painting
yesterday-quite gem-cost me $500.
Pretty steep, wasn't it?"
Perkins = Rather; still not very
steep. Your son-in-law, De Baggs, has
a painting that must have cost him
$4,000"
"Good gracious! never knew that.
must have look at it."
"Well, the next time you meet him
take good look at his nose. ."-Phila.
Call.
HANDLING TRUNKS CAREFULLY.
Baggage Masters Assistant Cat Grand
Central Station)-Here are fifteen pieces
for Saratoga.
Baggagemaster-Well, hustle 'em in
lively.
Baggagemaster's Assistant - They're
all marked "V."
Baggagemaster-Be careful of 'em,
my boy; be careful of 'em. We've got
plenty of time.-N Y. Sun.
TIMELY INTERRUPTION.
s'Has any one ever proposed to you
before?" he asked tenderly, after the
important question had been put and
satisfactorily answered.
George Simpson came very near it
only last night, " she replied, shyly. ''He
was Just on the point of asking me to
be his wife when mamma came into the
parlor. But Pm very glad she did,"
went on the girl, earnestly. 81 don't
think I would have been happy with
George"
MIsCoNCEPTIoN.
'EJust one," said the lover, as he stood
upon the stoop with his girl, ''just
oneW
"Just one," said the mother, putting
her head out of the bedroom window
above; ''well, guess it amt so late as
that, but it's pretty near twelve, and
you'd better be going, or her father will
be down"
And the lover took his leave with
pain in his heart-BOstots Courier.
SHE WAS WASHING HER KIsMET.
A family enjoyed the services of a
neat handed little waitress of Irish ex
traction, who proved herself very fond
of using any large words she might hear
at the table. On one occasion young
lady spoke of reading ''Kismet," and
upon being questioned as to the mean
ing of the word, explained that it was
''fate" A few days afterward, Biddy
having spent rather longer time than
usual in dressing to wait on dinner, her
mistress inquired as to the cause, and
was told:
"Sure, ma'am, 1 was washing my kis-
met. ."-AHo California.
A PRETTY COMPLIMENT.
! Clara understand Mr. Featherly
paid me very pretty compliment to-
day9
Ethel-Yes9 What ZEE
| CIara-He said that among the mos, los,
! beautiful young ladies at the Par'S 41S'
! night was Miss Clara smith
Ethel with cough)-1es, l noticed
you among them,
| HEAvED A PARTING SIGH.
sIt is sad to think, - sighed the cashier
as he walked into the night with his
yalise in hand and gazed upon the mas
sive marble bank building, ''sad to think
that must leave that noble structure
behind me. But must do SO. l can
not take it with me-"
And dropping tear he grlpped nj:
valise with tighter grip and hurried OF
to catch the Montreal train.-Bostor
Journal.
THE COUNTS.
The title of Count can now b.
bought abroad for $3.50. This seems
improbable, since very few of the
"Counts" who have come to this cit.
seem ever to have had that amount o
money.
DIDN'T WANT THAT KIND.
Mrs. Montague-"Do you sing, Mr.
De Lyle p -,
Mr.. De Lyle with a superior smile)-
az belong to the college glee club "
Mrs. Montague -(disappointed)-"Oh
I'm so sorry. hoped that you sang.
LEAVING AN IMPRESSION,
sI saw. Bobby" whispered Featherly
"did your sister say anything about m
after left last night p
eyes, she said something to ma, bu
it was in French.
'In French And what did your m
say2"
'sShe didn't say anything. She jes
histed her shoulders and laughed"
THE COST OF EDUCATION.
"Your studies are costing me a grea
deal" said father to his son, as b
reached in his pocket for money to bu
more books with.
81 know it, father, replied the sol
with some emotion, as he pocketed 81
bill, "and 1 don't study very hare
either"
A MISTAKEN WIFE.
A gentleman whose family consists (
wife and twin girl babies came In vel
late one night and went to bed.
His sleep was broken, and he tosse
, and tumbled and mumbled somethin
, about 'two of kind" and ''sma
/ pair" =
ssPoor John,n murmured his wifi
:, che is tired and is dreaming of tt
.. children"
, A CoNFLAGRATIoN UNLIKELY.
: Young Featherly had dropped in fl
! an evening call, and Bobby was EMO.
ing the conversation and leading u
+ laughter.
: Incidentally Bobby said
: = 'Mr Featherly, can water burn
4 'No, Bobby" replied Featherl
q amused at the question, "but 1t can
. made very hot by boiling. What p
= that idea into your head %
= sMa. She told sister that there W
a no danger of your ever setting the Nor