The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-28
WIT AND HUMon


Has kissed her sweet good night
MARY had E little lamb in French
nglish:
Marie possess one small mutton.
Her hair was black ike SHOWS
4 Aae na al over taat Marie promenades
Ihose sheep follow her nose.
A gushing poeiess begins. ..AIl that
want Is q single heart-n This would
eem 10 indicate that she held the ten.
aeA, queen, and king of that suit, and /.
vas drawing Tor the ace e-Fsack.
Why not bring the Indian to the cit
Is anu make voter of him? There
are very few red men who for a littls
hrewater would not vote for the besf
man. Louisville Coarser-Jouraal
In Michigan they assess a dog 81 for
being dog. In Tennessee they assess
a man 80 cents to become doctor. II
costs half dollar more to be a doc in
Michigan than doctor in Tennessee.
Don be dog.-Bdttlc Creek (alich.0
Noon.
When Chinese laundryman sends
home with his customers collars and
cuts set of steel-plated finger-nails.
warranted not to snap of when button
ing collar or cuff to \ shirt, he will
receive more work and fewer curses
NorriSto,oD Herald.
Miss Parvenu-I was almost sorry.
mamma, that you spoke so rudely to
that poor little Mrs. Wilkins.
Mamma-Well, my dear, pray where
is the satisfaction of being in the first
society if you can not snub those who
are out of it?-LJe.
The pine tree, says an authority.
fr,-
species OF insects. We can now easiIv
understand why Mr.. Longfeuow was
so strenuous in advising the aspirina
young man to beware the pine trees
withered branch. Boston 1rauscript.
Uncultured citizen of New York in
the greenhouse of Boston florist: II
want few lunches of trailing ar6u-
tus." Esthetic florist: 81 am sorry to
disoblige you, sir, but never heard of
such a shrub. l can, however, let YOU
have the trailing arbutus if that will
do.
''You have very pretty women here"
says an officer of the Strelok. Il think
they are the prettiest in the world
Those Russians are very sensible men.
During the pending unpleasantness
they shall have all the American SYM
pathy that can be reasonably given
them. ~ Y. Graphic.
A Western man says it is easy to dis
tinguish between a tornado and a gale,
but this explanation is not so clear as
that of the British sailor who defined
the difference between hurricane and
typhoon. ''In hurricane" said
Jack, ''the wind blows as hard as it
mt IN f4~n har ri
as it can and then gives ierS. Dos
ton Commercial! Btlletia.
Mother Always say please Bob
by, when you ask for anything. Never
forget to say please even to the SER
wants. Father (getting ready to go
down town).-''Yes, Robert, my son,
bear in mind what your mother has
told you, and always say please It's
little word, my boy, butfull of mean
| ing, and the use of it marks the gem
tleman. Now, wife, my overcoat and
hat, and be quick about it. "
Girl will look at your hammocks,
please.
Dealer-Yes, miss. Now, there is
something nice. Not expensive, but at
the same time pretty and strong.
| Girl-lt doesn't look very strong.
Dealer-I will guarantee it TO sustain
weight of 800 pounds, miss.
Girl-Let me see; l20 aud 165 would
be just 2o5-very well. l will take
that one.-N. Y. Times.
They were walking on the beach, and
as Claude held her little hand he muir
INJURED: Il love to be with you, Clari-
bel; it seems so bright and / feel so
1 all i
should not think that possible. And
then he dropped her hand and turned
sadly away. his sighs keeping time to
the surges as they lashed themselves TO
foam on the pebbly beach.-Boston
Post. ~
81 think it's absurd that young ladies
should kiss their poodles," said Muir
ray Hill man to his friend. There
no reason for it.
30, yes, there is; and there's also ;
precedent for the proceeding"
please explain.
1.-The reason is that most of the girl:
have nothing better to kiss; the prece
dent was established by Marc Anton,
when ne said, Havoc, let's lip ths
dogs of war; IN T. Journal.
Ruskin says: 'In all things through
out the world, the men who look for thu
crooked will see the crooked, and th
men who look for the straight can Sc
the straight" If Mr.. Ruskin woul,
duly come to America for year or tw'
and get civilized he would know bette
than that. Many free-born America
citizen has come to grief because h
looked for the straight and found moth
i Iah s-1.gl}
Journal.
A student at the University of Texas
who had been leading rather dissi
pated life, wrote to his father, one c
the most respectable citizens of Dallas
"Dear Pal had the misfortune to b
upset in boat while out rowing on tn
Colorado River. | lost the beautifu
watch which you gave me. | woul
like some money to hire man to div
for it. Your affectionate son, Thomas.
The old gentleman, who was no foo
replied: sit is not worth while divin
for it. 1t might as well be in soak i
one place as another. ."-TeGaS Sg
t1sgs.
, Il never did take much stock in tha
| story about fish being such fine brai
| food" inadvertently remarked Smith
.'and [ take less stock in it than eve
now that I've lived off little else fc
some time past. / think III gu
them"
II wouldn't if ! were you, old boy,
f feelingly responded Smithers; you Sc
o the fish, in order to improve the brair
= must have something to work upoI
r They can't create the thing"
5 And then Smith said that Smithei
: talked for all the world like his wife.
: OIL CITY Blizzard.
: 'Did you see anything of a pocke
i book that dropped somewhere in IL
e bedroom l occupied last night, LAM
Q lord?' ANY money in it?" ''Aboi
s $500" Eyes, sir. Here is your pocl
e et-book, with the money. The mai
o was honest enough to bring it to n
;. and locked it up in the safe. " ''Al
I, very correct proceeding ha
d intended placing the money IN sa'
a ings bank this morning, where it woul
l. have been drawing 4 per cent As
d reward for your honesty L will sa
n nothing about the interest for the tim
le it has been in your possession, and 20
Le can make it square with the chamber
s. maid. There is nothing small abot
D me when run across man who seen
l, to be trying to do what's right. ID
< troit Journal.
e A Cabbage which had arrived at r
y spectable Dimensions began braggin
r about the size of its head, when Bos
II Watermelon raised its Voice in Dil
~ pute. The Hubbard Squash chimed
'f for first place. and Pumpkin Roare
u out that it wouldn't play Second tiddl
le to no Vegetable on earth. They wei
= having it hot and heavy, when alon
"a came Philosopher, and he was aske
u to decide which had the Largest Head
'e s.As to the Head he replied, THAT
al .....r % 10 snttled hv a Lane linz