The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-12-19
ON KISSING.

Pretty Girls Ruby Lips Make an I'M
preston Him.
A certain young man writes me to
inform him as to whether it's exactly
doing the square thing to kiss girl to
whom he is not engaged without asking
her permission. Now, l am always
willing to help poor, struggling and
ambitious young man along, but this
kissing business is altogether out of my
sphere. In fact, though l have written
a pile of poetry about kisses, kissing
girls, etc, have never attempted the
business more than twice in my life,
and then was altogether too nervous,
too excited, to ask the girls permission
to kiss her. | always considered this
thing of kissing a girl u very serious
matter. l think young couple left
| alone to themselves should never resort
to kissing until every other kind of
argument has completely failed. l
don't think | would prove a success as
a kisser of females if had to beg for
kiss before got it. Between you and
the fence post, young man, it's my
humble opinion that when you are
alone with girl and she manages to
get her mouth somewhere in close
proximity to yours, you are stupid
fool for not taking advantage of the
situation.
Undoubtedly it's highly proper to as4
girl for akiss, but l should thousand
times rather get the grand bounce for
having stolen kiss, than to run the
risk of being refused on asking her for
the same, and having the girl make it
her special business to advertise the
matter from one end of the city to the
other. Take, for instance, a high
school girl. Were you to ask her for
| kiss, and she to refuse the same, the
whole town would know it the very
next day, while if you had kissed her
on the spur of the moment, or better,
! right square on the mouth, she would
/ (perhaps) have the good sense to keep
| the matter to herself, as it would be a
/ give-away on her and not on you.
+ have faint idea that it's mighty cold
kiss that one gets for the begging. As
| am inexperienced | may be mistaken.
l have good amount of cheek, but not
enough to warrant me to ask a girl for
a kiss. If any girl acquaintance of
mine can't let me know that her mouth
is made to be kissed, and that it would
be acceptable without my having to
question her on the matter, why, all
have to say is that she will have to wait
a good while before kiss her. They
say stolen fruit is the sweetest. don't
know about that, for / never stole a
peanut in my life but that it was bad:
but be it as it may, there are very few
things sweeter on earth than Il stolen
kiss. First, you want to be in the
humor for the business. Second, YOU
want to get the idea into your head
that the girl is just dying to be kissed
by you and is only waiting for you to
make the break. Once possessed Of
this idea and your conscience viii be
relieved of all scrupulous thoughts as
to whether it S exactly doing the square
thing by the girl or not. Then you
want to take good view of her mouth
and see just how much of it you can
take in. If she has q regular rosebud
mouth, why take it all in and throw
your whole soul into one kiss, but if
her mouth has the appearance of piece
Of landscape cut in two by a waterless
river, then the safest plan is to take in
the corners and byways, and sort OF
divide your kiss into sections. If the
girl has pretty cheeks and the powder
isn't piled on regardless of expenses,
! try them.
Most girls have no end of cheek,
therefore fellow can seldom miss fire
/ in kissing girl ON the cheek. If there
is anything that makes me tired it is to
hear of a fellow attempting to kiss a
girl on the ear. Do not attempt any
such thing. Nine cases out of ten
the girl will make a slight dodge so as
/ to impress you with the idea that you
are really surprising her in your action;
the result is you miss the ear, kiss her
hair and get your mouth full of ten
cent hair oil. That may be fun for
some, but | prefer different kind of a
| picnic. And | advise you to steer
clear of the eyes. Eyes are made
to look into, but never to be
( kissed. | knew a young man once
whose girl had such beautiful eyes.
! My! they were fine. Well, one time he
went into such a frenzy over her eyes
that nothing would do he must kiss
/ them. Well, he did, but in the attempt
/ he poked his nose into one of them and
! gouged it out. The fellow became a
raving maniac on the spot, and the girl,
having lost her chief beauty, married a
/ butcher.
l see on the stage the fellow generally
kisses his alleged sweetheart on the
brow. This may do for actors but l
don't want any brow kissing in mine.
If girl has a pretty mouth, kiss it
every time; but if her mouth is so large
that you endanger your life by getting
too near it, then resort TO the next best
thing and kiss her on the cheek Above
all things, leave her eyes and ears alone.
If this advice will prove of any service
to you, you can reciprocate the same
by sending me quarter by return mail.
! Sam tbo Gco,,oa,,o,,ob