Connecticut western news., 1885-02-18
WIT AND WISDOM.

be in heaven.
 Ar what time was Adam married [ On his wedding Eve.
 GoD repented that he made man, but never that he redeemed him.
 IF poetry hss feet it is a wonder that if doesn't oitener kick its writer.
 SN may open as bright as the morn- ing, but it will end dark as night
 THE ought which is ourn now, will one day become the final must of the uni verse.
 WHAT way marks in life mute, com. monplace things become in the light of memory
 I FIND the doing of the will of God leaves me no time for dinputing about his plans. ...-
 LOVE may be blind, but 1t Is not deal, as the girl said when her beau played the flute.
 MuoH learning shows how little nor tsls know; much wealth how little world lings enjoy.
 IT'snot women's place to mako trouble for men, but the men may be trouble somo all tho time. ....... H.
 IN matters of ofeonsoience first thoughts are best; in matters of prudence last thoughts aro best.
 To OVERCOME our own passions, and meekly bear the passions of others, is the effect of victorious grace.
 'Is YOUR son through with college, Mir. 0ldboyP" "N-no, not exactly. The college is through with him"
 A WOMAN in Ohio gave s1, 900 10 faith-cure doctor, who at onoe disap- peared. She was cured-of her faith.
 WHEN a man marries he gets mother-in-law, usually. And it's whom he tries to unmarry that he gets q vile in-law.
 IT is said that violin played among a flock of geese will start them 10 dano- ing. Every one who has attended bah is aware of this fact
 CHARACTER is the precipitate from tho stream of conduct, which, liko the Milo delta, rises solid and firm above tho river and confines its flow.
 WHEN Clara was asked what sho would do if a nico young gentleman asked her hand in marriage, she naivoly replied 'I really don't think I'd mo-"
 FARE you sure you arc converted 2" asked Mir. Sturgeon of devout house. maid. "Deed, sir, I think Tan, for sweeps under the beds, and in dark cor neis."
 A GOOD economical woman in Brook lyn refused to patch her husbands tr-srs, on the ground that the holo would last so much longer than the patch.
 "You may speak, "said fond mother, 'about people having strength of mind, but when it comes to strength of don't mind, my son William surpasses every body ever knew" -ua
 FACTIONS speak louder than words" said the blacksmith, suiting tho action to the word by hammering SO violently on his anvil that the book agent who was bothering him turned off his gas.
 WE are told thal the Bank of England covers three acres of ground. There ig nothing wonderful about that. We have known faro bank to cover an improved farm of 160 acres, and 1t wasn't oonsid- much of lay out then.
 Mas JoNEs-"Yes, boys do some. times turn out to be fast young mon. Ms. Smith-"That is true, but don't think my boy will ever be fast" Mr. J.-"Indeed2" MrA. S.-"No; he's a telegraph messenger boy"
 "THE mischiei's to pay now" ex- claimed the leader of tho orchestra "Fve lost my baton. Can't somebody find me a stick To beat timo with. Tho musicians wondered why he didn't take the first violin, but every one disoroetly held his peace.
 A FRENouMAN, being taken prisoner by tho Algorines, was nsked what he could do as slave. He replied that ho had been used to sedeniary employ ment-a sitting position. "wcll, then," said the pirates, i've will mount you in feathers aud set you to hatch chickens"
 JoNEs-''Yes, sir, it is mighty hard to collect money just now. I know it. !" Smith-'Indeed. Have you tried Co collect and failed2' Jones-"oh. mo-" Smith-"How, then, do you know that money is hard 10 collect 2" Jones' "Because several people have tried Co collect of me. e."-Boston Courier.
 "GMAwS1N', Eph. What nm you doin' fur lbin' desc days?" "Me3 Wy rse 'sistaut sup'intendent ob do bigges railroad in dis country" "Go long You doan' told mo 0olly, Eph, what does dc 'sistan' sup'intendent hai to do2" "Nuthin' but 'sist de sup. intenden' when he wants to put on his obercoat an sioh."
 Mas. BARNAoLE went to ride with Mir. B. when the mercury was at zero. "Why, John, how cold 1t is We must do something for tho poor They win freeze this weather" When she reached home, and had sat for an hour over the register in her sealskin sacque, she eK- claimed: "Really, John, it's not as Oold as I thought 1t was. We need not hurry in that charity matter"