The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1885-10-15
sWATTERs FELL FROM GRACE.
He Buys an Old Fire Department Horse
and Has Fun.

and Has Fun.
A Chicago green-grocer by the
name of Swatters joined the church
six weeks ago, and few days lat
er bought horse of the fire depart
ment which had reached the age at
which those magnificent animals
are retired from public service.
There is no doubt but that Swat
tiers was in downright earnest about
wanting to be good, and that he
sincerely repented having sanded
his sugar and worked off stale veg
etables at full market rates when
ever he got chance, but he made
the great mistake of his lifetime in
undertaking two very difficult
things at the same time. 1t may
be that with longer and more ex-
tended experience as christian he
might possibly have been able to
manage that horse without relapsing
into the path of the backslider, but
there is no absolute certainty that
such a result could have been de-
pended upon. He. was casually
overheard the other day explaining
to a customer:
"Well, sir, the very devil himself
could not hold him when the fire
bells are ringing. 1t don't make
any difference where happen to be
when an alarm goes in, he whips
around and goes to the engine house
like streak of wind, in spite of all
1 can do, and it don't matter how
much of hurry l may happen to
be in, if an engine comes my way
that old reprobate has to cut right
in behind it, and I've got to go and
see the fire, whether or no, and stay
till the last hose is rolled up. Is
man responsible for his conduct
with a horse like that in front of
him? Am l to be held accountable
for everything as long as that beast
worries the life out of me, and don't
pay any more attention to whoa
than he would to the PRESIDENT?
The other day ] started out about
s o'clock in the morning to deliver
some goods to customer who was
going to have a wedding in the
house that evening, and 1 hope to
be packed in ice before the weeks
out if 1 didn't have to go to three
fires, and see the whole show at
each one before I could get there,
and as one of them was big one
that took the whole force, / didn't
c.o+ oro,1O6 till ouou lOpn in tho f
ternoon, and madden set of women
you never saw than l found there
Just as though it was my fault.
They had given me up hours before,
and had actually gone and bought
the stuff somewhere else, and had
it baked up. They would notlis-
ten to anything l said, but slammed
the door in my face, and now I've
lost their trade-my best customer,
too, and all on account of that
cussed horse. 1t makes me
mad enough to shoot him; and I'd
do it, too, if it wasn't for the money
I've got in the old pelican. One
Sunday, just after got him, l had
hooked up to the buggy, and was
going to take my wife down to En-
glewood to see her mother; but just
as We got to the southern fringe of
town, as luck would have it, you
might swear, there was fire alarm,
and back we went for the engine
house at a gait that made every
body stare. That was the first
scrape I'd had with him, and
didn't know what to make oft. /
thought he was running away with
me, and l got considerably alarmed.
l sawed and yanked on the bit till
my hands were blistered, but l
couldn't shake his gait one darned
bit. On he went, like despair in
panic, as tight as he could jump,
and just we got to the engine house
the second alarm went in, and out
came the machine he'd been rum
ming with. He jumped into the
line right behind it, and don't
suppose people along the way have
got done wondering yet why my
wife and / were in such thun-
dering hurry to get to that fire. l
saw forty men or more that 1 knew
scattered along the street, and ev-
cry last one of them stopped and
looked as though he was stumped.
The Lord only knows when I'll ever
get through explaining to them fell
lows how 1 happened to be in such
an ill-fred rush that morning. My
wife still sticks to it that l
was a church member more than a
dozen times on that one trip, but l
don't think 1 did. 1t was a new
thing for me to qnote scripture
then, and she must have misnuder-
stood me, or being a green hand at
the business, may have got some
of the phrases wrong. Outside of
all the other trouble, that Internal
horse has lost me lots of trade here
in the neighborhood. People with
red eyes come in here every morn
ing threading to have me prosecu-
ted if 1 don't get rid of him or sta
BILE him in some other part of town.
They say this thing of getting no
sleep is about played out. They
might manage to put up with hav-
ing a child run over now and then
without making a fuss about it,
but sleep they must and will have,
if it takes a row to get it. When
ever an alarm is turned in at night
that horse is in misery, and so is
everybody else within six or eight
blocks. He wants to be hitched up
without the loss of second, and
if his halter strap won't break and
he can't pull down the manager on
one side of the barn, as he has
done more times than one, he just
stands there and kicks, paws and
snorts in the most outrageous man
ner that sleepy person ever heard,
till he concludes the fire has been
put out. One day 1 was driving
him to the funeral of a lodge broth
er and had the preacher in the bug
gy with me, when them COMPOUNDED
fire bells had to break loose and