Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-09-28
HERE and THERE.


Are you going to the Ball
A long felt want--A new hat.
A back bitter The mosquitoc.
A great. after dinner speech Have
cigar
Early SHOWS are predicted this
season.
Love is blind. but matrimony is
great oculist.
The next on the programme is THE
Bankers Daughter
Ii needs q few good frosts now to
ripen the chestnuts.
Did you ever hear of q confusion
made ont Of nighigown 3
Our dude printer saw two girls
home from the Salvation Army meet
ing last night.
Mr.. Cobb has married Miss Webb.
He knew they were meant to be join
ed as soon as he spied her.
A sociable man is one who, when
he has ten minutes to spare, goes and
bOthers one who hasn't any time TO
spare. Nee 81
Easiest way to mark table-linen---
Leave baby and some black-currsut
jam alone at the table for three min-
utes.
A smiddle aged girl" recently ad-
vertised for situation. Soon we OK
pect to hear of youthful octogena-
rians.
There is only one time that wo-
man can keep secret and that is
after she has eaten onions and receives
company.
This world is pretty even. The
piano has spoiled many a good dish
washer, and many good dishwasher
has spoiled piano.
What relationship does old Sol es-
tablish for himself when he beams on
a bevy Of legal wights I He's a sun
nin'-law, of course.
Some say that man who would
''beat an egg" would be so crul as TO
"whip cream thrash wheat" or
even "lick postage stamp"
A sewing machine agent, who was
very i'll, being told that be must pay
the debt of nature, wanted to know it
be couldn't do it on the instalmeut
plan.
A lady subscriber writes / wish
to learn to play the piano really well
Where would you advise me to go Z"
To the woods, dear lady, to the dark,
deep, dangerous woods.
The Empress of Austria has 224
pairs Of walking shoes, which cost her
Sc per pair. For half the money she
could ride in q hack or sit on some
body's fence.
Honorius, Emperor OF Rome, shed
tears at the loss of q favorite hen
Then it was that the court jester won
Immortality and the undying hatred
Of his fellow-men by exclaiming
"Hen-ce these tears" M aiI
Cant you give US some war re-
miniscences z" asked q citizen of an
old fellow in party of ex-soldiers
telling stories. mo, l believe not.
be answered promptly, "you see I've
only been married six months"
At negro wedding when the min
ister read the words, love, honor,
and obey" the groom interrupted
him and. said, "Read that agin. sah;
read it wunce mo-, so de lady kin
ketch the full soiemnity of de meanin.
Use been married befo'." iii
We are grati6ed to learn that Lord
Dufferin has arranged to hold dur
bar at Agra in November next, and
that the chiefs Of all the RajpootaDa
and Central Indian States win be
present. If durbsr Is anything
like the American mule, bis lOrdship
will no doubt need the assistance of
all his chiefs in bis attempt to hold it.
Some people are in favor of giving
ones wife name esthetically sugges-
tive of her husbands business, A
good plan. A chemists wife would
then be Ann Eliza afurniture deal
er's. Sophia; farmers, lilly; fish
erman's, Netty; tonsorial artists.
Barbara; . pawn-broker's. Jew-lie; .
burglars, Kitty; an attorneys, Law
"a; barkeepeer's Gin-erva; an edi-.
tors Rita
kentucky Coroner (holding in
Quest); You think the body Is that of
Colonel Blood p Witness: am
quite sure il is, SIR Coroner; IN
what pocket was the bottle found g''
YHsAnncr. Hin nnnknf y G0rnnnr !.