The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-03-26
PUNGENT ARAGRAPHS

The rollers skating link is good place
to study 'fall' fashions. Bostoa Bulie-
TN.
lie was leyel-headed doctor who
hired 4 house next door to u roller skat-
ing ink-B0sto0 Courier.
4 roctess sings, 81 have found what
silence is" Her friends. it is under
stood, are not so fortunate. .-BOston
transcript.
The rain falls not alike on the just and
unjust, for the simple reason that the
unjust usually has the umbrella belong
ing to the just.-i'ach.
Every person has role in life, and
some people seem to think the only role
they were destined for is to roll at the
skating rink.-Bostoa Courjer.
q read Browns new novel today"
she remarked GLOW did it turn out2"
he inquired "Badly. The ending is
very sad" 'Ah?' g Yes; she married
him"
A Cincinnati man claims to have
wife 50 hot-tempered that he can light
his cigar from the flash of her eyes. He
made good match when he married
her. Chieago SIN.
The Baltiaaorcau says ga clerk is like a
gun because he can be discharged" He
may also get loaded without the knowl
edge of the proprietor and go off uncx-
pectedly-Pctya9e.
During the past two years so, 600
roller skating rinks have been opened in
this country. During the last year and
six months 100 new court plaster fac
tories have been established. -EoansyWe
41yu}.
A member of Congress visited the
rink the O her night and put on the
rollers for the first time. He was not
invited to ''takc seat on the floor Of
the house." but he took one, all the
same.-Ncyrjstoton Ue7uid.
Too young for suspicion. Edith (con-
templating her face in the mirror)-
ssMamma, me fink Katie Jones is berry
pretty.'7 Edith Give minutes later)-
"Alamma, me- fink me berry much like
Katie Jones ''--Haroa1d L0mpooa.
Upon this bald old Earth of sin,
Which whirls from day to day,
There are many things to make us grin,
And laugh our breath away
fut tier IS nothing will a man invest
With mi! tn, and make him hoiler,
Like finding in last years vest
A last years unspent dollar.
It is said that every convict in the
Ohio penitcntiary is compelled to write
an csslv each month. When he is re-
fractory his essay is read to him. The
Ohio authorities are making the prison
discipline more severe every year
Gr0thic.
sIf man wants to own the earth, what
does woman want?" inquired Mr. Grab
of his better half, after family matinee
a few DAYS ago. swell, my dear" re-
sponded that lady in gentle, smother
ino tone, sto own the man, | suppose"
-Bostoa Post.
Gayly the rash young man
Puts on the skates,
Saving, 81 think | can
Astonish the States. %
Then he strikes wildly out
Faster and faster;
And with a bump and shout
\ ellis for court-plaster
.Your honor, I am summoned to serve
on the grand jury, but | wish you would
excuse me- "What is your business,
sir?n II am coal merchant" ''Iou
are excused, sir, 5n the ground that it
would be impossible for coal merchant
to weigh matter properly and find
true bill.-Chic1go Neecs.
ssYou see." he explained, 81 have a
little railroad back here in Wisconsin.
That is, | have organized one, and Sc
cured the right of way across the two
counties. | came down to Chicago to
float out n little loan | want hundred
thousand dollars 81 see." 'Well,
l've been here a week, and haven't ac-
oomplished anything ''Whys" "Well,
the best offer I've had yet was to furnish
me the money at twenty-five per cent.
interest, and charge me sixty per cent.
commission for making the loan. What's
left won't pay me for lying to the If m
ers."- Ial Street Neacs.