New-York tribune., 1885-03-05
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THE TALK OF TIE DAY.

THE TALK or TIE DAY.
Western paper. somewhat mixed mp In Its srelius
that Mr. He'll has been appointed posttnss.
at Minnesota Lake." Still, this sort Of th.ns ma,
be expected to begin about now, 1t doesn't SO much
matter.
"what is repentancew queried the Sunday school
teacher To be sorry for doing wrong. said the goal
boy "were you ever sorry for anything you dli n
Yes'm.' said the bad boy. What maie yon sorryi.
Great Jehosaphat. Wasn't you ever spanked rNew.
man IndeDendent.
Another blew out the gas and went to bed. II ths
orthodox opinion he won't need to do 1t asan
Gas is not used in either place. New-Yorker mar
presume just in parenthess that light furnished by
economical system
How are the mighty falenl "Sir r. c. ID. Tlchbons~
whose from prison statesmen and judges were
to have trembled has been rejected by Barnum, and
a member of a provincial variety company"
"vonare, the human serpent" one day; "sir r. c. d
Tichborne" another; the "comica mule" third.
To E gland still the gale
From Egypt watts across
The same unvarying tale
OF Prophet and OF loss.
-lPhiladelphla Record.
George Noremac walked 800 miles 100 days in q
hall on Eghth-aye. II he had started direct linz
west from this city, the crow hies he would have
nRshed In the vicinity OF the lSOth meridian or
than midway the Pacific Ocean so far away
that New-York wcui never be bored ty another such
attempt by him.
The other day neat-loolnng lad applied to gentle
man In this city tor m4l0yment He had good place
In his office that he wanted hiled. - think I've seen
recognition. ii rode down in the car vita yoa this
morning, and you had comfortable seat and kept II
feet ali day, were standing You won't do for me-
And he lost the place. --lPhiladelphia Bulletin
The Salvation Army attacked Hartford, Conn, the
other night The advance agents billed the town in
this way:
HErLol BILL
WHATS UP Nowi
Why 'in' yGaA sAE%srfos Hsasd fSsa' 1t 1h'n
ARMY
Folks are EIck kick e SP pave a0's
They are going to have the boss down from New
Tuesday, Feb 2iLh.
Who's the boss
Why, don't you know 7
CoMMIssroSBR SMITH.
The hallelujah with his cOrnet And then there U
that other chap, Capt walsh.
who plays on his banjo. And then the STAFF is coming
Why, a lot OF fellows that go with the boss
help him. And then there ,eT "a are some ssps
"'''' f' guess we must take that in. Where is III
~ viz AMERICAN HALL,
there il silver collection to pay expenses guess W
can give dime. That's not much.
Officers III command:
~.
Lieut.. George Evans.
Jacob schaefer the billiard player, has an elaborate
cue that other experts envy 1t can be unjonted and
has an ivory top and leather tip that will unscrew. and
II "a laced with wax twne He will initiate II in the
tournament which will soon take place. The othef
PLAYERS console themselves however. that 1t Is not N
cue alone that rolls up the points but the man oehndn
POOR UNCLE JOE
Dedicated to Hon. Joseph L. Mcdonald
Well, could have served the nation
With ecat in any station,
But into dark oblivion I've been lung.
Yet thought heard him calling,
But II must have been the bawlng
or my pet bozuggagoo, who's lost her young.
III eschew deceitful politics,
And try to grin, while Folly kicks
Her heels and makes a face at Uncle Joe.
I'll sit beside the Wabash
Where IL weds the Numsequagash.
And watch the ripping rivers rhythmic now
In the wilds of Posey County
I'll subsist on natures bounty,
And the hoop poles flesh shall be my daily foods
Yes I'll hunt the wolf and bear;
Defy the w-paw In his lair o..
Chase the Wild, ferocious pumpkin thro the woo0
With the raccoon's fragrant blossom,
And the bud OF the oppossum,
will deck my lonely bswer in the grove;
And as my evening pipe smoke
I'll listen to the artchoke
A warbling to his mate his tale OF love.
Minneapolis Tribune