The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-08-14
The Church Debt.

Bill Eye in New York Mercury.
l have been thinking the matter owe,
seriously and / have decided that if ]
had my life to live over again, | would
like to be an eccentric millionaire.
have eccentricity enough, but l car
not successfully push it without more
means.
| have a great many plans which ]
would like to carry out in case l could
unite the two necessary elements for
the production of the successful eccen.
trio millionaire.
Among other things I would be will.
ing to bind myself and give proper Sc
curlty to any n who would put in
money to offset my eccentricity that
would ultimately die. We all know
how seldom the eccentric millionaire
now dies. | would be willing to in.
augurate a reform in that direction.
l think now that l would endow a
home for men whose wives are NO
longer able to support them. In many
cases the wife who was at first able to
support her husband comfortably final.
~ shoulders church debt. and in irving
to lift that she overworks and impairs
her health so that she becomes an in
valid while her husband is left to pine
away in solitude or dependent on the
cold charities of the world.
My heart goes out toward those men
even now, and in case | should fill the
grave of the eccentric millionaire | am
sure | would do the square thing by
them.
The method by which our wives in
America r knocking the church debt
silly by working up the husbands gro
ceries into .'angel FOOD and selling
them below actual cost, is deserving Of
the attention of our national tinanciers.
The church debt itself is deserving
Of notice in this country. 1t certainly
thrives better under a republican form
OF government than any other feature
of our boosted ciyilizat'on Western
towns spring up everywhere, and the
first anxiety is to name the place, the
second to incur a church debt and es-
tahlish a roller rink.
After that a general activity in trade
is assured. OF course the general hos
tility of church and rink will prevent
ennui and listlessness and the church
debt will encourage a business boom.
Naturally the church debt cannot be
paid without what is generally known
through the west as the FESTIVAL and
hooraw.' This festival is an open
market where ladies trade the groceries
Of their husbands to other ladies' hus-
bands and everybody has a '.perfectly
lovely time" The church clears 50. 80
and thirteen ladies are sick all the
next dav.
This makes a boom Tor the physi-
clans and later on for the undertaken
and general tombist. So it will be
e that the western town is right in
establishing a church debt as soon as
the survey is made and the town
properly named.
After the first church debt has been
properly started, others will rapidly
follow, so that no anxiety need be felt
IT the church will come forward the
tirst year and buy more than it can
pay for.
The church debt is a comparatively
modern appliance, and yet it has been
productive Of many peculiar features.
For instance, we call to mind the cler-
gyman who makes a specially of going
from place to place as a successful debt
demolisher. He is a part of the rem
eral system just as much as the ice
cream freezer or the button-hole bou-
quet.
Then there is the row or social
knock-down-and -drag-out which goes
along with the church debt. All these
things add to the general interest, and
to acquire interest in one way or an
other is the mission of the c. d.
i once knew a most exemplary wo.
man who became greatly Interested in
the wiping out of a church debt and
Who did finally succeed in wiping out