davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19
An Old Friend in New Clothes.

A party of gentlemen, says the New
York Tribune, among whom was a ply
sician, were relating queer experiences
at an uptown hetel last night, when
the doctor said:
Can you remember when the Turk
ish baths were started? A great
many doctors introduced baths in one
form or another all over the country,
on the strength of the Turkish bath
being a success. My old college mate,
who had just got out his diploma,
Fred Wieters, went out to Chicago
and started Turkish bath, with med
icated baths as an accompaniment.
Among other things, he advertised to
cure consumption and malaria. He
had a big box, with glass sides, in
which he shut his victims while he
turned on the steam and baked them
One day a tall, lank chap came in.
He was at least 6 feet 2 inches high,
and with frame to carry 250 pounds,
actually weighed only 1876.
"I've not got consumption, though
l may look like it, said the fellow ;
but I've got the malaria the worst
kind
"The doctor agreed to cure him in
six baths at $3.50 each. After a
Turkish bath he shut the man up in
his baking-box. There was little
thermometer indicator on the outside.
The doctor took newspaper and sat
down in a rocking-chair, where he
could watch the indicator. When it
indicated 80 degrees the patient tap
ped on the glass. is it all right,
Doc?' he asked because it's mighty
hot, can tell you The doctor as
sured him that he could stand it up
to 120 degrees. Before the bulb had
pushed the record to 100 degrees he
broke out again, and again the doctor
pacifed him. The 100 degree point
was just passed, when the victim
shouted out, in voice of sheer des-
peration:
"I say, Doc; bring me fork,
won't you p
"'What do you want of fork ?
asked the doctor.
az want to stick it into me to see
if am done. / know l am
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19
Didn't Know her Intimately.

"Do you know this woman ?" asked
lawyer of a negro who had been
summoned to testify before court.
"Yes, sab, l knows her."
"Do you know her very intimate
lyT
mo, sab, KANT say / do"
"How long have you known her9''
"Wall, l got er 'quainted wild her
er short time before | married her."
"She's your wife then? Thought
you did not know her intimately ?"
Oats what l jackclated."
81 don't understand, then, how she
can be your wife"
"Wall, yer see, sab, she longs to
der church, de singin' s'ciety, de Sis
ters O. de Sacred Boom, de Daughters
O. Ham, and two or three little side
shows. Err oman whut is KEEP so
busy, sab, amt got no time to fool er
roun' home. e."-Arkansaw Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19
"Well," said the man, "hand il

"Well," said the man, "hand it
over"
The payment was made. Tom, true
to his bargain, took his post by the
barn door and let fly with one barrel
and then with the other, and such a
quacking and splashing and scream.
ing and fluttering had never been
seen in that place before.
Away ran Tom, and delighted with
his success picked up first hen, then
a chicken, then fisbed out a dying
duck or two, and so on, until he num-
bered eight head of domestic game,
with which his bag was nobly distent-
ed.
"Those were right good shots, sir, "
said the farmer.
Eyes" said Tom "eight ducks and
fowls are more than you bargained
for, old fellow-worth rather more
than seven shillings, eh ?"
"Why, yes" said the man scratch
ing his head, 81 think they be
but what do / care for that-they are
none of them mine!"
Here" said Tom, 81 was once in
my life beaten, and made off as fast
as l could, for fear the right owner
of my game might make his appear
ance-not but that l could have given
the fellow that took me in seven times
MS much as | did for his cunning and
GOODNESS. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19
Too Ready with His Replies.

Madame Gin search of country
board)-You have plenty of fresh
eggs2
Farmer-Millions Of 'em, lady
millions of EN-.
Madamc-And fresh butter!
Farmer-ToDs of it, lady; tons of
it.
Madame-And pure milkY
Farmer-Oceans of it, lady; oceans
of it.
Madame-And mosquitoes
Farmer-Bilions of 'em billions
of er-what did you say'
Madame Mosquitoes.
Farmer-There amt skeeter on
the farm.-New York Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

He (afraid she would order the Sec
ond plate)-"Did you know they
make ice cream of glucose, gelatine,
corn starch, castor oil, skinned milk
oleomargarine, cayenne pepper and
strychnine?" She clicking out the
dish)-"No, 1 didn't know that, but
I've noticed they are so stingy in fill
ing their dishes that one has to eat
two plates in order to get enough
Chicago Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

"Where are you going, Johnnie? ?"
"Only over here little ways"
"You amt going near the water"
"Nome."
"See that you don't, then. If you
do, I'll tell your father"
"Yes'm."
"And if you 60 into the water and
come home here to me drowned, I'll
spank you till you can't stand"
"Yes'm."
"Now mind"
"Yes'm."
And thus it is all through vacation.
Boston Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

Mrs. Peterby was making neigh
borly call on Mrs. Simson. While
they were chatting together little Ma
mie Simson was seen coming toward
the house with package in her hand.
mamie is such a smart child she is
too smart for her age. / often send
her to the grocery on the corner with
a twenty dollar bill, and she always
brings back the right change" En-
ter Mamie, who run to her mother
and says; 81 got the coffee from the
grocery, but the clerk says if you
don't pay last months bill, you can't
get anything more on credit."-Texas
Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

Miss Mary Anderson studies Shak-
spcare beneath the trees. There she
finds sermons in stones, books in the
running brooks, and good in every
thing" except the horrid spider that
often sits down beside her and fright
ems Miss Mary away.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19
Ayers Sarsaparilla

for rheumatism, with entire success and,
after careful observation, declares that, In
his belief, thcro Is no medicine In the world
equal TO It for the cure of Liver Disorders,
Gout, tho effects OF high living, Salt
Rhcum, Sores, Eruptions, and all tho
various forms Of blood diseases.
We havc Mr.. LrLASD's permission to invite
all who may desire further evidence In regard
to the extraordinary curative powers Of
Ayers SARsAPARiLLA TO see him person
ally either at his mammoth Ocean Hotel,
Long Branch, or 1t the popular Leland Hotel.
broadway, 27th and 2sth Streets, New York.
Mr.. LBLASp's extensive knowledge Of tho
good done BY this unequalicd eradicator OF
blood poisons enables him 10 givo inquirerp
much valuable information.
PRrARrp 1T -. ~
Dr.J.c.Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass.
soad By all prussssss, q, s,z bottles for r. !
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

Bride Gust graduated from Wells
ley)-"Bridget, have you made the
bread ?" Bridget-"Yes, num-
Bride Cooking into the pan)-"Oh,
this is it But, mercy, Bridget, you
must place it upon the ice directly.
See, it is melted. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

Mamma-"Don't you think, Emma,
you are getting little too old to be
playing with the boys so much ?"
Emma-"I know it, but the older l
get the better like 'em." Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

"Pat," said little boy, "what is an
absolute monarchy" Il can't ex-
plain it, my sen, SO that you can un-
derstand it. Wait until you get mar
ried, my son, and then you'll know"
Newman Independent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

A young man in Indiana died with
diphtheria, which he contracted by
kissing pretty girl who was suffering
with it. His last words were, "I'd do
it again, if / had the chance. ."-Mer-
chant Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

Blinkin, whose language is Howery,
called his wife "a daisy during their
engagement; during the honeymoon,
he called her pink" and now when
she meets him with rollingpin at 2
o'clock in the morning, he calls her a
might blooming serious. Chicago
Rambler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

"Dear me-" said lady in Fifth
avenue, the other evening, "Hcw the
china craze is growing! Here's a
New York club that is paying $4,000
for n pitcher. ALBANY Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

There she blows" the old whaler
remarked when his wife commenced
to give him curtain lecture.-Pal-
mer journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

II like the mild spring air." said
Deacon Gilpin, as he sat down on
Squire McGill's porch floor the other
morning for friendly chat. "How
fresh it makes everything seem. Do
you know of anything fresher than
the gentle spring zephyr" "No; 1
don't know as l do" replied the
Squire, "unless it is that ere paint
you're sitting in. 'Tain't been on the
floor two hours. Narration Inde-
pendent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

A woman and a fiddle are some
thing alike. They always come out
strongest when there is beau about.
Boston Budget.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

"All i want is justice" said the
tramp. "Three months" said the JUS
ticc.-Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

A country seat that always rents
The barbed wire fence.-Salem Ga
zette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

A politician left alone with his con-
science, sees mighty little company
New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

A good bay to battle in-Bay rum.
Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

The first lady in the land-Eve.-
Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

A pipe organ-The Tobacconist's
Gazstte.-The Judge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19
Advertising Eatos.

Business 1ards, emo year, one dollar fer svsy
lire.
Local Notices ten cents per line for each i>ss
toi.
Prices and Terms alike to all.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19
WIT AND HUMOR.

A woman may work from sun 10 sun,
But collectors work is always dun.
The Rambler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

An Independent Newspaper OF Dem
,cratic Principles. but not Controlled b
ny Set Of Politicians or Manpulatoo
Devoted to Collecting and Publishing 81
he News Of the Day in the most Inter
sting Shape and with the greatest poe
ible Promptness, Accuracy and Impair
iaIity; and to the Promotion Of Dsms
ratio Ideas and Policy in the sffais .
sovernment, Society and Industry.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

Now subscribe for the ARGUS.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19
MICHIGAN CENTRAL

The Niagara Falls Route.
Arrival and departure Of trains noted below as
followa.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-19

Rates, by Mod, PestpssS
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
J. Beal. New York.

J. O. Bea1, New York. Theodore Filtz, New York. Clinton Ferbish, Brooklyn, N. Y. Samuel R. Betts, New York. Edward L. Gand, Hendeson, N. Y. George W Golden, Philadelphia William W. H. Nixon, Chicago, III. S. H Raymond, Cleveland, O. Dr. H. B. Sands, New York city. Mrs M E. Moves, New York city. Miss Sands, New York city. Miss Reaney, New York city. Mir Sands New York city. George w Patterson, jr., Westf1eld, N. Y A. F. JenkS, Westfield, N. Y. William F. Gilbert, Westfield, N. Y. Mrs D. D. Youmans, New York. Ephram M. Youmans, New York. Mrs l. B. Dennison, Boston, Mass. T. s. Jacobs, New York. James A. Campbell, St. Louis. John w Beckley, Louisville W. s. Seeres, E1kton, N. Y. J. A. Reed, Davenport, Iowa, w. c. McMillen, Detroit, Mich. Ettis H. Roberts and wife, Utica. Mir. and Mrs. Gorham, New York, Miss Rogers, New York pr. Morris H: Henry New York, Dr. W. c. Vile, Sandy Hook, L. I. Mrs. Lyman, New York. Miss Lyman. New York. George W. Harrison, Budstor, Pa. Mrs George W. Harrison, Budstor, Pa. W. W. Ta1madge, Providence, R. I. Jas. K. Hcyt, New York. Charles Jonas Long, Wilkesbarre, Pa. W. s. Reyes, San Francisco, Cal. G. B. Noble, New Milford Conn. IT ~
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
The Funeral of Mrs. Aaron N. Skinner.

The Funeral of Mrs. Aaron N. Skinner.
 The last rites were performed at o'clock yesterday at her late residence on Prospe ct street by Rev. Dr. Smyth, whose readings of the scriptures were followed by very elo- quent and touching prayer. Professor James M. Hoppin, who was in his youth a pupil and inmate of Mir. and Mrs. Skinner's house. hold, made an address de1ineating at length character prominent and distinguished in the city through a long life by constant and habitual deeds of great usefulness in every department of public charity promoted by the various institutions of this city. MT. Hoppin's address, occupying about twenty five minutes in the delivery, was listened to by all present with the tender attention and interest which SO feeling and heartfelt 8 trib- ute from the eloquent speaker would com mand. The interment was in Grove street cemetery by the side of her husband, in 8 vault prepared nearly thirty years ago.
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
- - ------------------- Entertafplflenrs.

An immense audience greeted Maude Granger at Bunnell's Museum last evening, The favorite drama "Article 47'' was pre- sented in fine manner, Miss Granger ap- bearing as Cora, the Creole, and ably sus- taining the high reputation she has held for years in this powerful role. The bril- liant star was supported. by George Lea rock and an evenly cast company and the play was put upon the stage in good style. Miss Granger will appear every evening this week and at the Wednesday and Sat urday matinees. At the other matinees the character will be played by Miss Adelaide Stanhope, most accomplished and pleasing actress. In the curio hall Colonel Goshen, Dr. De Lane, the wonderful extemporane- ous poet, and the panorama of John Browns insurrection are the special attrac- tioOs
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
wEATHRaR RECORD.

INDICATIONS FOR TO-DAY.
 WAR DEPARTMENT, !
 OFFICE OF THE CHIEF SIGNAL SERVICE, WASHINGTON, D. O., June g. 1SS5-1 A H For New England, fair, cooler weather, north westerly winds, rising barometer. For the Middle States fair, cooler weather. preceded in the southern portion by local rains, westerly winds, becoming variable, rising barOme- ter.
 For Wednesday, fair weather. with slowly rising temperature is indicated for Now England and Middle States.
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
Personal.

Mrs. H. H. Olds has been very i'll during the past week, but is somewhat better, as her many friends and the public will be glad to learn.
 Professor Simeon E. Baldwin, president of the New Haven Historical society, and Thos. R. Trowbridge, jr., secretary of the same, have been elected honorary members of the Oneida Historical society, of which Horatio Seymour is president and General c. W. Darling is secretary
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
Tuesday, June 23, 1885.
NEW ADvRRr1BEMENrs TO-DAY.

NEW ADV TO-DAY. American Surety Company-17 Hoadley Building Autumn Term-MisS Nottfs School. Bonds and Stocks-W. T. Hatch Sons Coca Beef Tonic-Liebig Company. Established Tw zone Years-Gaudefroy' First class Groceries-Paul Russo. For Rent-PSsrt of House-T5 Howe Street. For Rent-Shore Cottage-P. O. Drawer 31. Grand Excursion-George ". H. Hughes. Hoods Sarsaparilla-At Druggists. Ice Creana-At Ryder's Lost-Smellng Bottle-This Office. Kiesele Lost-Chld's Necklaco-iS4 York Street. Meeting To-day Glass of 1645 Nickel Plating-N Crown Street. Public Hearing-Committee on Sewers. Roasting Chickens-Frisbie & Hart. Roman Punch-At Ryder's Tourist Ruchings-Wilcox & Co. Two Great Bargains-F. M. Brown & Co. Wanted-Manager-119 Orange Street. Wanted Salesnan-119 Orange Street. Men-119 Orange Street. Wanted = -Chambermalds- Orange Street. Wanted Franklin Street.
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
To.Day's Programme.

Tuesday, 9:30 a. m. Meeting of the alumni
 23 p. m. Polls open in the library for election of two members of the corporation.
 3p. m. Anniversary exercises of the law depart ment with address by the Hon. Thomas A. Hen dricks President of the United States lon the Supreme court of the United States), and Townsend prize speaking at the Center church.
 SD. m. Anniversary exercises of the Sheffield Scientific school, in North Sheffield hall, at 8 o'clock. The public are invited to attend.
 SD. m. Reception in the rooms of the law school (court house., for the alumni of the school, with their families and invited guests.
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
The State NormaI school.

The fall term of the State Normal school, New Britain, begins September2. Examina- tions for entrance take place at the High school building in this city July 9th and 7th and in Birmingham on July Eth and eth; al- so at New Britain at beginning of term. See adv
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
Why ES It

That the sale of Hoods Sarsaparilla continues at such rapidly increasing rate9 It is-
 1st, Because of the positive curative value of Hoods Sarsaparilla itself
 2d, Because of the conclusive evidence of remarkable cures effected by it, unsurpassed and seldom equaiIsd by any other medicine. Send to c. I. Hood & O., Lowell, Mass, for book containing many state1ee2ts of cures.
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23

First-CIass Groceries-LOw Prices.
 At the we'll known and extensively patron ized establishment of Paul Russo, 763-765- 767 Grand street, corner of Bradley, a fine line of groceries and provisions can be found. All articles kept there are of the best quail ty and the prices are extremely low. Phe public generally are invited to inspect the goods and ascertain the prices. All orders are punctually attended. to and goods deliv- cred to any part of the city. See advertise ment
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
LOCAL NEWS.
Rrief Mention.

BF1ef menG1Oms
 Work was begun yesterday on the Whitney avenue Telford pavement.
 The monthly meeting of the managers ot the New Haven orphan asylum is postponed until Thursday, July 2nd.
 The Elm City is being placed in fine order for picnic and excursion business this sum- mer. She will run Sunday nights only on the regular line.
 Rev. Dr. Vincent, who has resided here the past four years while his son was at Yale, closes his residence in few days. He leaves for Chatauqua, N. Y.
 All the internal revenue offices of the State will be closed for business for two days fol lowing June 29, that the transfer may be made to the new collector.
 MT. Edward Malley returned to the city early last evening from days fishing trip over east with sixty fine trout, some of them of extra size. A good days sport.
 See advertisement of examinations of teachers to be held at the High school build ing in this city July 9th and 7th, under di- rection of the State Board of Education.
 The Board of Compensation held hear ing last evening on the extension of Union avenue from Carlisle street to Spring street A large number of interested parties appear ed before them.
 A number of Hopkins Grammar school boys built bonfire of tar barrels on the ball grounds last evening. Two of the boys were arrested by Officer Collett, but they were bailed out by Dr. Robert Ives.
 The special committee on repairs on tear ing down tLe State House i4eid l.cati2s; Fl the Mayors office last evening to formulate their report It is understood that they have had but few bids for the work of repairs or removal.
 The house on Grand street near Olive, years ago occupied by Dr. o. w. Peck, now owned by Assessor T. K. Dunn, is being set back and enlarged by Newell F. Burritt, con tractor. MT. Dunn is having B brick addi- tion in front erected. The lower part will be made into a store.
 Mrs. Judd, mother of the Messrs. Judd, the caterers of this city, died Sunday at the home of her son, Frand Judd, on State street, after long and lingering illness. She leaves six children, four sons and two daughters, all of whom reside in this city except one daugh- ter Mrs Cean, who resides in North Gull ford She was much beloved by her chil- dren and many friends.
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
AnFAfVShTn-

The American Surety company of New York city supplies long needed want in the community. in that for small percentage 1t acts as surety for officers and employees of banks, railways, express, telegraph and tele- phone companies, and other corporations and business houses. The law of our State ad- mits this company into its limits to do busi- ness, and the men who compose it are among the most wealthy and honorable business men in the city of New York. Young men of good character seeking positions of trust need no longer ask for bonds in vain, as this company stands ready to aid all such prompt ly. The agents of the company for this city are N. D. Sperry, R. F. Lyon and E. E. Boyd. Their office is room 17 Hoadley build ing, corner of Church and Grown streets,
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23

The Shore Line train leaving the depot in this city at S:15 Friday morning will take, no doubt, hundreds who are going from here and mainly to witness the Yale-Harvard boat race It will connect with the 10:20 observation train. The fare for the round frin ia S1 75
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
by Bishop Williams.

Gonarmmtfoms by B1shOp W1II1amss
 Bishop Williams health is much improved. At his visitations in Hartford on Sunday Bishop Williams confirmed two persons at the College chapel, sixteen at the Church of the Good Shepherd, fourteen at Trinity church and one in privste for Trinity church Bishop Williams, besides attending to his official duties at the above churches. was present at Christ church in the evening, and listened to the Trinity college baccalaureate uarTnon of Kha Rav Dr Hall
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
Death of a Former New Haven Cler.

The Rev. Hubbard Beebe, formerly secre- tary of the Seaman's Friend society and af- forwards of the American Bible society, and as such known to many in this place, died on Sunday at Bethlehem, N. H., of heart dis ease at the age of seventy-six. MT. Beebe formerly lived in New Haven and more re- gently in New York
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
rba EorIv C1ogfng movement.

There will be meeting of the clerks and others who are in favor of the Monday night closing movement this evening in room 15 Insurance building for the purpose of form ing permanent organization. It is expect ed that there will be Q large attendance of those interested.
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
To be Pumped Dry,

This morning under the supervision of MT. Gilbert, of the Board of Public Works, the well on the Green at the corner of Chapel and Church streets will be pumped dry. To accomplish this one of the fire department steamers will be brought into requisition, ,and Chief Hendrick says if anyone doubts the ability of the steamer to do this work they had better be present. The pumping will commence about o'clock.
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23

The autumn term of Miss Notts school opens September 23. The English teachers will be the same as during the closing term
 The French classes will be under the charge
 of Mile Valerie Pernaux ie 23 2t
Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-23
Court rIetropoIitan No. 6.143

COurt MetFOPOIILan Nos b, 743s A. Us F.
 Last evening the following officers were elected for the ensuing year: 0. R., P. W. Carroll; s. c. R., M. J. Fahey; financial secretary, J. J. McMahon; recording secre- tary, A. McCulLory; treasurer, M. R. Mooney; s. w., J. F. Callahan, J. w., James Farrell; S. B., N. Moroney; J. B., J. Legrand