The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-11-26
HONOR.


ewe.-Cari Pretzeps Weekly.
IT is highly improper to call an oleo-
margarine joke chestnut. II is but
ternut. -Washiagton Ratchet
A GOOD happy tight don't improve
the appetite. Marathon I'adepend-
emit.
liz ON ordinary man was muscled like
flea he could throw a book agent two
miles, Chicago Ledger.
AN exchange SAYS that woman who
eats onions will keep secret. She will
also keep man at a distance.-Chi-
cago Ledger.
A POET asks: what is warmer than
a woman's lover" We infer that he
never picked up newly coined horse
shoe, fresh from the forge.
tolon Herald.
BEAUTY is not confined to one par
ticular rank in life, nor yet is homeli-
ness, but we want somebody to tell us
of young lady with million In her
own right who hasn't good figure
Fall Riuer AdUance.
WHENEVER You see young lady who
wears fearful, agonized look, do not
for moment think that she has lost
dear friend or suffered any great Attic
ton. She probably wears tight shoes.
Brooklyn Times.
A GREAT many people seem to think
that Adam had a hard time after the
fall, but they fail to remember how the
wind was tempered to the shorn lamb
in the blissful felicity Adam enjoyed in
never having a mother-in-law.- st
Paul Herald.
did not the sight of the boundless
blue sea, bearing onsits bosom the white
winged fleets of commerce, fill you with
emotion 2" "Yes," replied the traveller,
"for while it did, but after while it
didn't fill me with anything. 1t sorter
emptied me. "-Terds SVtings.
"MY dear, demonstrated wife, peer
ing out from under the bedclothes, II
do wish you would use the word 'shoel..'
1t sounds better" at may sound bet
ter at times" replied her husband, who
was noisily nursing his heel but when
a man steps on tack he wants the old
version.-Nelc York Sun.
MISS B.-I wish that conceited fool
wouldn't annoy me so much with his
attentions. / wish he'd mind his own
business. Miss Fife can't mind his
own business. Miss B.-Because he's
got no business? Miss F.-Because he's
got no mind. Philadelphia Cali.
I'm London the people pray espe-
cially for editors" Any one who has
read the lengthy and heavy editorials
in the Times and other London dailies,
and the pointless and funereal jokes in
the comic weeklies printed there, must
admit that certain editors in that city
badly need especial prayers. But the
praying doesn't seem to effect reform
in this respect. -Norristo,o1s Herald.
SMITH-"What is Brown doing now
on the Hem!" Jones IAN editor)-
Everything. from writing poetry up to
soliciting advertisements. Smith
"You mean from soliciting up to writing
poetry, don't your" Jone,-"Did you
ever read any of Browns poetry ?"
Smith-"No." Jones (conclusively)--
Il thought not."-Ptlck.
Co." said Mary Ann, the cook, in
singing the glories of ireland, "at home
in me native town there are sthreets OF
most beaucheous corn-craik housesr
what are corn-craik houses?" asks
Gretchen, the nurse-maid. 20, the
loikes of thin ignorint furriners |"
groans Mary Ann. "Why, corn-craik
loike the corn-craik pavements yez have
here. "-Hdrper's Bazdr.
THE author of book called MANS
Birthright" says There is great prin-
ciple of nature which governs the rela-
tion of mankind to property; it is a fat
question is settled, it is hoped that he
will let us know what sort OF principle
it is that governs those editors in this
country who denounce everything
American and praise everything En-
glish = from a book to an iron-c clad
vessel. -NorristolCp Herald.
QUATRAINs.
A Sisters Love
sisters love how sweet Ills far above
All other love, when it is fond and true;
All, who can doubt it when il is the love
That some one elses sister feels for you?
Ny Ladys Failing.
My lady's voice Il melody to me,
There's music in the rustic Of her skirts,
But what uvails il all, alas when she
Is the most incorrigible of hirts
Saperero0atory.
Don't kick man when he is down. for know
That justice may demand some PREPARATION;
Besides, who deals a PROSTATE man n blow,
Performs work of supererogation.
4 Valuable MariHt
Wheree your lot is cast Your duty do;
The man is happy who is well behaved:
The breezes never through the whiskers blew
Ofany man whose cheeks were closely shaved
The Man Who Has Credit
He's happy who makes payments as he goes,
Whom never fear Of creditor eer haunts
Rut 4 wi nj
And still gets all the credit that he wants
Boston Courier.
para AII Do&..ox