Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-05-15
PITHY PARAGRAPHS.

Voltaire recommended the occasional
hanging of n General'pour encourdgcr les
uttrCS hereaboutS we need to hang
builder and inspector Of buildings occa-
sionally by way of admonition and self
protection.-N. y. Graphic.
At the Presidents suggestion the Demo-
cratic members of Congress and managers
in Iowa have met and parceled out the
Federal offices. 1t took two conferences
to make up the slate, but it has been com
pleted. This sounds a little strange,
since Carl Schurz gave us to understand
that the President would not permit Con
gressmen to dictate ppointments.-BOS |
ton Journal.
There is no excuse for II health in this
lifts, health corsets, health pads health
foods, and now an inventor has devised
chair which is to give us "health-jolt- |
ing" every time we need it. Let us all
grow robust.-N. Y. Commercial Aducr |
tisCr.
The Rev. Mr.. Talmage decides that the
worth of correctness of amusements may
be determined by how you feel next morn
ing. The decision is sensible, as many
man who has woke up with "a big head" |
will testify.-POrtlald argus
In retiring from the ministry yesterday
Rev. Dr. Burchard explained that the
church needed a lighter and younger
pastor, who could climb any number OF
stairs and do missionary work" The Re
publican party thought that DIR. Burchard
himself was active enough for all practi-
cal purposes, but it will not be displeased
with "a lighter" man-one who will be
less of a practical pile-drlVer, as 1t WERE
Washington Critic.
Irishmen who may wish to help Eng
land thrash Russia will not be required to
furnish certificate of good character
Boston Post.
If England and Russia continue to back
and fill as they are doing, the world will
come to the conclusion that they do not
care to fight after all.-TroY Times.
The sensational newspapers that make
much of the firing of pistol by small
boy in the vicinity of the President are in
very bad business. That kind of sensa-
ton encourages cranks.-NcG York
Graphic.
Dumont, the great French newspaper
starter, is dead. He was the founder of
no less than dozen Paris newspapers,
several of which survive him What fame
might he not have achieved had he trans
ferred his operations to this glorious land
Uncultured citizen of New York in a
greenhouse of a Boston florist; | want
few punches of trailing arbutus HIsthetic
florist | am sorry to disoblige you, sir,
but never heard of such IA shrub. | can,
however, let you have the trailing drbu-
tus if that will do.-NCW York Tribune.
That Edmunds law proves to have the
real sand in it after all, and the Mormons
stagger under it.-LOlcell Courier.
1t is now reported that some of the Hi
nois legislators who went to New Orleans
under the impression that the trip was
ID. II. all the way through may have to
walk home.-N. Y. Mail and ErpreSS.
While the Canadian troops now facing
Riel are in momentary peril of slaughter
at the hands of the insurgents, the gov
eminent at Ottawa quarrelS over the
question of expense of sending reinforce
ments. Dulce ct decorum est pro patra
mori.-BOStOn Globe
Mr.. Gladstone has achieved another of
the great moral triumphs, mingled with Il
shrewd sense of the way in which the
popular current can be turned to grind
the party mill, which have marked his
career, in securing the assent of Russia to
an arbitration of the issues between Eng
land and Observation-Disclosures Press.
The New York Judge who expressed
surprise at the acquital of Short, tried for
stabl.ng Captain Phelan, probably re
Elected the opinion of every one who recol-
lects the bloody ati'ray in Rossas office
/ The assault may not have been premedl-
ated but it was nevertheless most shock
ing affair, and should have been visited
with severe punishment. The public does
not care much if dynamiter or two is
without those VINO blow up buildings and
mangle and mutilate men and women in
the sacred name of Liberty, but the men
who savagely stab their enemies should
receive such sentences as should etfectual-
" deter repetition of their crimes. Dos
tom Transcript.
Gladstone is the great taXidermist of his
time. He has taXidermed the British lion
in the nobest style of the art-stuffed the
poor thing with straw, given him blue
glass marbles for eyes, and glued his tail
firmly between his legs, and filled his legs
with sawdust. The ancient terror of Asia,
Africa and Europe is, indeed, beautifully
taXidermed.-BO Traveller.
May is sullen, so far, and people are
as usual expressing surprise and chagrin
over what is, however, pretty uniformly
the case. But then, if it were not for the
weather, and the pleasure of anathemat.
izing it, what would people doy and
what, in particular, would the reflective
persons do who are perpetually asking
each other whats the good word :" and
chow does the last news strike you. ~
Ne,c York Commercial Advertiser,
Among the many improvements in
newspaperdom which have happened IN
; recent years there is hardly one which
gives more satisfaction to the Judlclous
public than the gradual elimination of the
sensational reporter who can state nc
; facts without romantic embellishments
, the young man who endeavors TO serve VI
the most common place and vulgar scan
dial with dime novel heroics, and who
handles the reputation of respectable citi
zens with as little ceremony as II they
were ordinary loafers. This highly enter
prising youth, who thinks Il newspaper
is dull if it is not highly dramatic, ant
who burns blue and red lights every time
a street ''vag" is arrested, is happily find
ing employment elsewhere than ON the
press. lie is perfectly harmless every
r where save in printing ofiice.-PittS
, burg Commercial bulletin.
The annual dispute as to the largest cir
culation is now in progress between the
Tribune and the World. Editors ReiC
= and Pulitzer are inviting each other into
their respective back offices to inspect
the books and settle the matter. Tempt
) ing forfeits in the shape OF certified check:
for vast amounts are put up, and the mos
seductive Establishments are INDUCED in
The game won't work. Editor Pulitzer i.
firmly convinced that visit to Editor
Reds back Office would result in hi'
cold -blooded slaughter by hired sluggel
who is hiding behind the door in wait FOL