The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-10-08
THE MERRY SIDE!

rncK, an ea0le IN UOe air-aDu DehOCrdb III
the election.
When Satan was kicked ont Of Paradise, and
continued his career of villany, the war
over?
+.*
eff can't kill vou. I will irritate Won all
can ~ said the fly 10 the horse. How like Pro-
hibitionist!
Hoadlv didn't object to getting in front of the
Foraker club, provided he could hold DR.. Leon
ard in front of him.
The Democracy have disnlaved great states
manship in turning the Ohio Penitentiary into
cheap broom factory.
The ma pers in Cincinna ii are urging everybody
to register. The danger is that some of them
will register too much.
The sentencing of Won Ommern. Socialist, at
Amsterdam, last week. caused q lot of AmsteT-
dam villains to raise riot.
Pat Hartnet was huno at the Penitentiarv,
last week Pat wanted them TO forget the past,
but they wouldn't, and hung him.
Flower wouldn't run for rLieutenant-Governor
of New York. He didn't want to shed his fra
GRANGE in Democratic graveyard.
Ex-President Arthur has rented q pew in the
"Church of the Heavenly Rest" in New York.
That would be good place for "Ex-President''
Tilden to pass his closing days.
Mclean, of the Enquirer has proven that
Halstead didn't like Grant, early in the war
Wen bet that he liked him better than Mclean
did.
"The troops had slight brush with the Indi-
ans" And it is fortunate they had the brush
Twould have been safer. had it been a little
thicker.
Old Sitting Bull was in Columbus the other
day. and they told him Allen O'Myers lived
there, he took off his buffalo-horns and carried
them under his blanket.
The little boy spelled it 'g-r-a-p-e-s,'' until
after he had been turned loose among the vines.
After that he spelled the word with ''i" in
place of an "s.''
They bull-doze colored men who attempt to
register In Cincinnati. What's the matter? Are
there no shot-guns among the colored men of
Cincinnati?
Alonzo Glass, of Clark county, Indiana, eloped
with his wife's sister, and afterward returned
to his wife, who forgave him. She is an ad-
mirer of stained Glass
The Gailipolis Bulletin is informed by an old
citizen that it is wonderful the way people are
talking of voting the Democratic ticket. 1t
would be more wonderful to see them do it.
Henry Ewens, of Mount Vernon, was fined
for cutting out chickens brains, and letting
it live several hours. Henry thought it could
live without brains. He could.
-
The Lord has been good during the Demo-
cratic times. He has given the farmer the big
gest pun pkins ever seen. And He has made
the prices SO low that the farmer has to eat
them.
The copperhead solemnlv gets up and marches
when Republic an orator begins 10 talk about
the war-just as he used to when the soldier
took up his gun tor business.
80
meteor fell in Pennsylvania, SO big that it
shook the earth. What have the Pennsylvania
Dutch been doing, that the gas is blowing up
under them and rocks falling on top of them?
Fitz Lee is riding through Virginia in the sad
die of his uncle, Robert E. Lee. But there were
more brains in that saddle when ole Bob rode
it than there are in Fitzs hat.
Why, Democratic friend, don It you know who
starts this '.bloody shirt" business? It's the
boardng-hou keepers in Canada. They have
eye to business.
'Confound the crank !" said the little boy who
got up and walked out. He was member of
the prohibition Party"
Pat Hartnet was permitted to see the sun go
down the night before he died. "Before it goes
down again" said Pat, "I1l be flying around
among the angels" Well bet Pat sees the
through smoked glass, now.
m
A voter looked at the Republican State ticket
to find q soldier. He found q long line of blue,
from top to bottom. He looked at the Demo-
cratic State ticket to find a soldier. He found a
witheriDg butternut.
"Talk to me about bein' the friend o. the mig
geIs?" said an old DENNY, "of course 1 am f!
Wasn't nursed at the breast of kind old mig
ger woman in my infancy?" "Poor woman"
sighed every man in hearing distance.
local Democratic statesman declared that
"if Republicans don't quit talking like McKin-
ley does, there'n be another war" Then you'd
better prepare yourself some sponges and cop
peras-water.
The Salvation Army publish an official order
in the Middl+port R publican, in which they
say: awe are still believing that Middleport
will be for Jesus" What Base Ball Club and
all?
A woman presented herself to the Registers
at Cincinnati and wanted to register TO vote.
Har fS Hnlr i0ln ha hal hlyyf Rhf
that name would be appropriate in the Demo-
cratic camp the morning after the election.
+.+
What can surpass the innocence with which
a boy fingers over a load of apples the street.
And what can surpass the tenacity with which
the largest one will stick to his fingers when he
leaves? It's the way of the world.
Mrs. Veronica Bulla, of Syracuse N. Y has
been fasting nearly two months, and at the last
Bulla-tin was still holding out. This will en-
courage the Democratic candidate for Postmas-
ter.
The beauties of this world are too much on
the surface Dear lady friend, that man who
stands smiling after having given you his seat
in the car, may seem cOnten!ed and happy
enough, but he's inwaldly praying for some
fellow to get off at the next station, for he's aw
fully tired.
Hoadly-"Joe, you just knock this chip off
my shoulder"
"Foraker-"Certainy, George, off she goes ?"
HoadIy-"Oh, yesl You did. did you? Now
you just spit over that mark, will your"
Foraker-"Yes, I'll do that, tool"
HoadIy-'Ohi You do, do you? You spit
over that mark? Now, Joe, you just-just-"
Foraker-''EXcuse me, George, there's a big
meeting over yonder, waiting for me 10 address
them"
"Come, let's be comrades ~ said Satan to the
Minister.
''But you've done too much evil" said the
Minister.
what have done?"