davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
BRIGHT BITS.

A WORD to John ShermAn-chestnut.-
Gde}Dhid Times.
WHEN Tennyson wrote the line: "He Crap
pied with his evil star" he must have been
thinking OF the stage manager who wrostled
with kicking actor.-Ne'0 York journal.
The GOVERNMENT will 20 in debt in order To
leed the Utcs. The noble red man s as yet so
unclvIlZed that it has not vet occurred to hlm
10 get trusted At the grocery stores. Louis
rIt6 CoWyierJoNrndi.
TIE NcRlcy vs.. Negley divorce case has
been $" cely settled Mr.. NcglGy is to have
the child SIX months, and Mrs. Negley six,
Turn apout until the child Is sixteen. Now,
II the real father IN Mexico should send for
the little one, the case HIQ be awkward.
-Ne10 orleans Pfedyune.
ALTOGETHER UNPREPAREp: 1t vas thun-
dcrlng dreadfullY. Cot. Yerger took up his
am afraid to stay here" said his wife. 81 am
scared, too. ] want To get to a saloon as soon
IS possible. Why don't you keep whisky in
the house for Just snch az emergency ?"-Tf
Sifjags.
HOW the intense sgonice os this srtistio age
crocp upon us ere we know IT, The newest
and sweetest idea is for the Young lady who
has just returned from the seaside To paint
neat little yacht race on the lining Of she'll
she herself picked up ON the sounding sands,
and send il 90 her best young man. This sig
mites. when translated into the vernacuIar:
- Will be the Genesta to your Puritan" This
10 very encouraging to the young man.-Hdrt-
Jord Post.
"OBADIAH. have you any arnica in your
desk" asked the telegraph editor OF the
religious editor this morning, as he spread
out before him the first sheets of the telegraph
matter.
What do you want with arnica?" queried
Obadiah in return.
TO anoint these dispatches"
w mats the matter with the dispatches?''
THE news they contain is Spainful in the
extreme"
Then Obadiah sympathized with the dis
patches.-Pitts6aIr0 ChroaicJe.
Col. MURAT HALsFEAp has gone down
east 20 consult with Coi. Whitelaw Reid as to
new plan of salvation for the Republican
party. During his absence Col. S. Romeo
Reed has skipped along over the centuries
between the battle OF Marathon and the siege
OF Nlcksburg. and IA making the Cincinnati
Commercial Gdset'e the most exciting war
the Conansrci1t Gdsette will startle us one OF
these mornings with a republication of the
emancipation proclamation id its telegraphic
columns. Col. Reeds idea seems to be that
the future of this republic is to be found in
the back files.-Chfca00 Nelos.
It's mighty clear september's here
You bet!
For all around us signs 20 queer
Are met;
Young men now sport autumnal hats.
The girls are Hooking to the mats"
And politicians into spats
Do get.
The streets are thronged with sunburned men
Md maids:
Free-lunch hends seek saloons again
Ou raids:
The youngsters Nil the city squares.
Policemen all assume fne airs
And shops that advertise their wares
Catch trades
philadelphia Nelos.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
a Young VYife's crafty Letter.


A young lady, newly married, being obi ged
to show her husband the letters she wrote.
sent the following to n friend. The key is to
read the first and then every alternate line
only.
] cannot be satisfied my dearest friend!
blest as | am in the matrimonial state,
unless pour into your friendly bosom.
which has ever been in unison with mine,
the various sensations which swell
with the liveliest emotions of pleasure,
my almost bursting heart. | tell you my dear
husband is the most amiable of men.
nave now been married seven weeks, and
have never found the least reason to
repent the day that joined us. My husband ia
bOth IN person and manners far from resem-
bling
ugly, cros-, old. dissgreeabe and jealous,
monsters who think by confning to secure
a wife, 1t is his maxim, to treat as
bosom friend and a confidant. and not as a
nlaythlng or mental slave, the woman
CHOSEN TO he his companion Neither party,
ne says, should always obey implicitly;
but each yield to the other by turns
An ancient maiden aunt, near seventy,
a cheerful, venerable, pleasant old lady,
lives in the house with us; she is the de-
light of both young and old; she is CT
vii to all the neighborhOod round,
generous and charitable to the poor.
am convinced my husband loves nothing
more
than he does me; ne ilatters me more
than glass; amt his lntoxlcation
tfOr SO | must call the excess of his love-
often makes me blush for the unworthiness
OF its object, and wish / could be more de-
serving
Of the man whose name bear. To
say all in one word, my dear, and to
crown the Wholc-my former gallant lover
IS now my indugent husband; my husband
Is returned. and might have had
a prince without the felicity l find in
hun. Adieu! NAV you be best as | am un-
able TO wish that l could be more
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
THE WEEKLY NEWS FOR AID
VERTISERS.

Fhe attention OF advertisers is called to the
advantages offered to them in the SAvANNAH
WEEKLY NEWS. This well known paper con
sists Of l2 pages, containing 81 columns Of
printed matter, made up from the cream OF
the telegraphc and general news Of the daily
issues, and large amount OF original matter
a. also contains a carefully edited agricultu-
al and farm department. and a weekly mar
ket report-especially adapted to its constltu-
ency.
Ii is the favorite business and family paper
OF the farm ~ merchants and mechanics of
Southern and Eastern Georgia. and of Florida
The WEEKLY NEWS is carefully read in thou
sands Of homes, stores and workshops and then
it passes from hand TO hand until it is read
by an entire neighborhoOd. The character o.
he WEEKLY NEWS. and that of the people
who resdit. makes it a valuable medium in
which to advertise. 1t reaches to greater
extent than any other paper published in its
section the intelligent and thoughtful people
OF the Southeast; people who have IN any wants
to satisfy, and the means with which to sup
ply them. The merchants of Savannah and
elsewhere will find no better paying invest
ment than an advertisement in the WEEKLY
NEWS. Estimates for advertising given on
application at the Counting Room.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
A scotch Parson,s Bargain.

Leqoes from the Note Book Of T. 4 Reed
The length of sermons varies greatly and
no reporter should undertake to report a SER
mon for given price especially a low one
unless he has some assurance as to the length
to which 1t Will run. In my early profess
sOnal practice a Scotch clergyman engaged
me to report a series IF sermons delivered bv
himself He told me that he desired to pub
llsh them, but that he should probably gain
nothing by the enterprise, ami he made
strong appeal to me to undertake the work
for the lowest possible remuneration. |
yielded to his entreatv, and a fee was fixed
that would have been inadequate for the
shortest sermons ever delivered. Imagine
the state of my feelings at the close of the first
sermon. 1t had lasted exactly hours and
30 minutes! The work of transcription
was about the weariest / have ever
undertaken. The reflection was continually
forcing itself upOn me that there were five
other dlscOurses to follow. And they did fol-
lawln due course; none Of them quite reach
ed the length of the first, but the shortest was
Just an hour and half. NV clerical friend
expressed himself highly satisfied with the
transcripts, and once or twice invited me to
his house after the service; but he gave no in
dlcations Of q smitten conscience. He held me
to my bargain, and even ventured 10 suggest
that he might again avail himself OF my SER
vices. | remember another sermon that last
ed precisely as long as the one ! have men
toned. 1t was bv an Irish Bishop, and was
preached for the Church Missionary Society
by whom | was employed. ] need hardly say
that that body voluntarily increased my fee
in consideration of the inordinate length of
the di course.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
Information for a stranger.


4 party Of English tourists were coming
from the Yosemite last week. when one Of
them, who had been dubbed the interrogation
point OF the crowd, espicd pair OF brogans
sticking in the lace OF the blum, toes down
Nudgiug tina co CHI driver, who CHANGED h. be
old Itll McDlenathan, he asked: AN, driver,
! wondah what the d0ose those boots are doing
up theshY"
Old Bnl scarcely glanced up "a he replied:
That's man buried up there. and The boys
were IN such hurry that they did not dig
deep enough to get his feet in"
bah Jswye. that's very strange. We knau;
IN make n note 81 that. But ! say, driver
the toes point down. lie must be buried on
ais face. dye knau."
~ es." said Old Bill, musugly, The was an
ifishman.n
But what's his being an Irishman got 10 do
with his being buried face DOWN." asked the
now thoroughly aroused Brtisher.
old Bill locked at him la plying manner
for some seconds. aud then In a tome fun of
deep sorrow and astoniShment az the tourists
ignorance, said: "Nell, do you see we've got
"A sort Of superstition ont this WAY that op
election day every dead lri.hmdn pcts out OF
ms grave and votes, and 20 lately we've got 10
burYlng 'em on the top OF the Hill, face down.
40 that the more the corpse tries TO dig out
the deeper he gets in tue ground"
"Oh, yes, ! see" Eald the Englishman.
grayely. I'm make note OF that for my
huak ~
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
The Water Question.

The action OF the City Council Wednes-
day night authorizing the Water Commit
tee TO bore an artesian well, tor the pur-
pose Of ascertaining the probability OF
economically supplying the city with ar
tesian water, meets with general appro-
val. There is no longer doubt as 70 the
success of ordinary artesian wells in sa-
yannah and vicinity, and there Is little
reason to doubt that for few thousand
dollars wells may be bored which will be
capable of supplying the entire city.
1t may be possible that the wells, If
bored to sufficient depth, will convey
the water by natural pressure through
proper mains into the distributing tank,
thus enabling the city to do away alto
gether with the pumping station. II this
could be accomplished, the annual cost OF
supplying the city with water would be
merely nominal, and the net income from
the water works would be sufficient to
warrant very considerable reduction IN
the rate OF taxation.
Whether the expense connected with
the pumping works can be gotten rid of
or not, we should have artesian water If
it can be obtained at reasonable expense.
1t is probably only question of time, if
the artesian system should not be adopted,
when the city will be forced, by the pres
sure of public opinion, to construct an
extensive system Of reservoirs, and adopt
some effective mode Of altering or puri-
Tying the river water.
II the procuring of sufficient quantity
Of artesian water at reasonable cost
should not prove practicable, pure and
clear river water can be obtained here, as
it has been obtained elsewhere, by adopt
lug the iniiltration system. IN this sys-
TEN great we'll IS eXcayated at a proper
distance from the river bank and to
proper depth, and the water is filtered
through the earth as it passes into the
well, from which it is pumped.
IL is not intended to reflect upon the
wholesomeness Of our hydrant water. II Is
believed to be as free from sewage or other
injurious matter as the water Of almost
any other city In the country, but very Of
ten It's quite muddy. Although it may not
DO injurious to health tor our citizens
WAC cannot afford filters, or who do not
care TO look after them, to use ms & bev-
erage saturated solution OF the Old
red hills Of Carolina and Georgia, there is
scarcely anyone who wishes 10 do so. Our
river water properly filtered is doubtless
as pure as any spring water in the world.
1t is possible, however, that arteslan
water, besides being remarkably pure, as
IL has proved to be, contains some medicl.
nal qualities that would be invaluable to
our people should such water come into
general use.
1t is to be hoped that the water commit
tee will be entirely successful in its ex-
pertinent. The gentlemen composing it
have much to encourage them in the sue
cess of the artesian system at Charleston
and other places.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
THE HIGHLAND sCHOTTIsCHE,
A Picturesque Danae which is 20 be
Taught Everywhere THIS Winter.
From fhe Nslo York Sun.

From the Nsto PORK Sun.
Prof. Brookes waited an instant for an in
spiriting bar Of music from the piaro, and
then, gliding gracefully on his toe. took three
steps quickly, and, lifting a foot from the
floor lightly, touched his heel to the calf OF
his leg. Then he slid sideways. with an i'm
pressive glissade movement. The combination
Wassomething thar clipsed even the mastery
redowa slide of Mr.. Arthur Leary in the
charity ball quadrilles, and the fifteen pro-
fessors who watched the poetry of the motions
clapped their hands with delight. They kept
on applauding, and made the professor DO 1t
all over again.
what do you call it?' we asked, trying to
maze diagram of the sinuOus movements.
That" said the professor, proudly,
us the new Highland schOttische,
which is 20 be the society dance
OF the season this year. 1t is imported
from England and Scotland and will be intro
duced in all first class academies as soon as
the dancing classes open Technically, 1t is
combination of the Highland fling and the
galop, and 1t has raised n furore among the
Scotch lads and lassies, and has also found ex-
ceptlonal favor among the fashonables Of
London and Liverpool. It's a thing that no
description can do justice to. 1t must be seen
to be fully omprehended."
The fifteen other professors unanimously re-
solved to teach the Iii highland echOttlsche when
they went back TO their classes.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
INDEX TO new ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEErINGs-LiYe OAK Lodge No. 8, 1. o.
OF.
SPECIAL NOTICES As to Crewos Bri.l-h
Steamship strathmore and British steamship
Aurora.
STEAMSHIP General Trans
atlantic Company, Boston and Savannah
Line.
WANTS Subscriber for Set Of Encyclopedias
Britannica Words with the Public b. H4
yens; \ Good Cook; Elegant New Hoase.
For RENr-Large South Rooms; A Dcslra-
bic House; -Four Connecting Rooms.
FuE SALE-A Double Deck Passenger
Steamboat; set Walnut Furniture.
PERSONALS to Cabinet Photographs.
FINE ToDACCos. ETC.-Lee Roy Myers =
60.
EDUcATIoNAL-Mrs. Alice g. Heyward's
hool.
HATS FOR rHE MILLIoN-At Appel Bros.
RICE-F. NJ. Hull.
BACON And FLOUR-F. NJ. Hull.
STEP LADDERs--A. b. Collins n Co.
BOYS AND CHILDREN's OvERCOATs--At
Gszan's.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
an Antlnnsted narlnw-

FF0Nl NC I0Ufls0n IN1.l d0UrHdl.
Henry w. Il. Ashe OF the Fifth District.
has left at the Jaurfi1i Office an old 'Barloy1
KNIFE, having stamped upon tho blade the
year 7G0, iprohaby the year I'm which il was
made thus showing u to be l2s years OH.
Upon the iron portion OF the handle are
stamped the letters IN y. s.. auppo-ed H.
De the initials of the firm which manufac.
tured IL. Ano her remarkable circumatancr
Is the manner ia which Mr.. Ashe hesame pos-
se.sed OF u, he having found u frozen 10 a
cake nt zee ihai WAS taken on the dam OF ia
COB ). Gors1ch, gu Little Black Rock Run,
Fiith District last winter. Tho Zoe was
gathered, ana the knife vas found recently in
ms icchoute between some leaves that had
also been frozen M the ice az the time Il was
taken on the dam. How it came where it
was found he b. unable 70 say. The blade ear
rles an edge equal To razor, and Is good for
many years OF service.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

FROM tho PhiIddelpAiI Record fDeW.)
The retirement Of Mr.. DOrmAn b. Eaton
Wlll AFFORD the opportunity for complete re-
organization Of the civil service comm sslOn.
Mr.. GregOry Ii regarded as rather offensive
partisan by the Democrats, whilst the Repub
licans nave no better opinion of Mr.. Ihoman.
IN the execution of a law which causes so
much friction the President should have ad-
viserB Of his own choice
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

from the HdShtHgt0n Post (Dsn1.)
There is considerable difference OF opinion
among Democrats as TO the efficacy of the
present civil servi statutes and the ability
OF The men who arc charged with their exc
cutlon, but there IA none as to the merits of
the civil service as it existed prior to March
). 1883. Democrats are rs much opposed 10
the whole system as Warner Miller and his
Republican friends favor II. There s no
trouble about drawing the line and framing
an issue right here
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

There is danger that the Cincinnati
Times-Stw is becoming q real decent
political paper, and that it will lose its
Republican support. 1t does not take
much stock in the bloody shirt feature OF
the campaign In Ohio. The other day it
asked sis Judge HoadlY afraid of Sena-
tor sherman Is Senator Sherman afraid
of John r. Mclean: Is Judge Foraker
afraid of DR.. Leonardo In short is every
body afraid OF everybody else, and is the
campaign doomed to drift along in this
monotOnous manner?" The tone Of the
Republican part OF the campaign does
sound rather monotonous.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
CURRENT COMMENT.


From the Louisville Courier-JournGj tDem.)
"If this be the bloody shirt" concludes
me peroration OF high -falutin leader In
Republican organ, lot IL hap in every breeze"
rms is positively indecent. That is not the
way TO wear shirt. our Republican fellow
cltIzcns should calm down and KEEP their
brooches on -
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

The whisky men of Cincinnati have
been able to squeeze the price up to 81 03
per gallon, although one firm continues TO
sell at 81 o.. Should the internal revenue
laws be repealed the price would no doubt
speedily be reduced to about CO.,, or say
one cent per drink.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

Some OF tho Mugwump journals think
that Mr.. Dorman B. Eaton's retirement
from office does not mean his retirement
from the cause which, il " said, he has so
much az heat. for he intends 10 work for
IL still as volunteer. II is to be hoped
that his voluntary work will not consist
solely in recommending his chums and
party friends for appointments under the
Democratic administration.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

The cowboys naturally respect a man
who Is handy with the pistol, hence II
Will not be surprising when II ID told that
they went many miles % join In the
demonstrations at Medora, OAK, welcom-
ing the Marquis de Mores home after his
acquittal Of the charge OF having muir
dered one OF their comrades. 1. is said
that as the train pulled into tho station
the platform was crowded with over 100
sombrero-crowned Westerners. who filed
the air with shouts and bullets, swinging
their revolyers above their heads and an
loading as fast az they could pull trigger.
There 10 nothing small about q cowboy
except his regard for human life and
eobriety.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

FROM mo Neto 1orG herdtd NInu'l
AS TO tariff revision. the Republican Ma
tlonal Convention Of 1884 itself invited 1t, re-
solving that 'the Republican party pledges
itself to correct the inequalities OF the tariff"
As to wanion reproaches Of the South. we be-
lleVe that the common sense Of the voters of
New ork VIII restrain and rebuke any eX-
travagances of the politicians in that drec-
fiOn-
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

The American model has an able adj
vocate on the other side OF the water. In
lie Yacht, the French authority in sea
sports, writer declares that the perfected
type Of centre-board yacht, as exempli-
fed in the Puritan, Is the true type for
builders Of fast boats TO follow.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

The Turkish journals with unspeakable
names have already opened the war for
The subjugation Of Bulgaria. Newspaper
ordnance has the advantage Of being
always loaded and ready TO shoot. II will
probably take some days yet to mobilize
the Turkish army and get its gun, in posi-
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

D0vid B. Corning in TIC Toledo Blade.
] was reading in the Blade about aged twins
and of the twelve pairs OF twin boys. Now
propose TO tell YOU of what I distinctly re-
member. | am now 62 years Old, and when
was from y to Is years old my father, Samuel
l.. Corning, ke7t the one tavern ut the centre
of BrOokfield. Trumbu county, Ohio, the first
range of townships in the Western Reserve
next to the State line Of Pennsylvania. just
at night there drove up and halted at the tav-
ern two wagons of the Pennsylvania style, so
called in those days. having broad tires,
schooner shaped bodies and linen covers. In
them vac a man, his wife, and twelve pairs Of
twins. all boys. They wanted place to cook
their suppers. having their own provisions in
the said wagons. That night the boys all slept
IN the wagons. but nv mother furn Ished the
father and mother with bed In the house 1t
excited the curiosity OF all the people in that
vicinity. as up to that time an unheard- of
thing. Squire Chew kept hat shop near the
tavern and made wool hats, good and durable,
such az we're made in those days Before
starting next morning he marched the twins.
two and two, in front of his shop, and fitted
each hoy with neat hat, and the father with
one such rs he Chew wore himself. IL was
tall. bell-CrowHod, wide brimmed, and trim
med with fur, ana a band half an inch in
width OF dirty white color. but green on the
under side Of the brim TO protect the eyes.
They received other presents. Ambrose Hart,
who kept The one store, gave the mother
calico to make a frOck for herself, and they
resumed their Journey for the (at that time
far West.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

The Presidents letter TO Commissioner
Eaton contained some passages that
would have added to the fame of Evarts,
had they been written by him. A good
many people believe that Mr. Eaton de-
served long sentence (to private life or
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25
TO CITY SUBSCRIBERS.

After Wednesday. the sOth inst, the MORN
ING NEWS viii not be sent 10 subscribers
whose subscriptions have not been paid in
advance
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

Tom Ochiltrce Is SAFE 70 continue 20
assert that be Is President Of a Western
railroad company. II seems 70 he gener-
ally conceded that he Is on the payroll Of
some railroad; but great many people,
Notwithstanding his statement, are IN
doubt whether hs is really President or a
brakeman who usos his headlight" for
n danger signal.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

The Colorado people complain that game
is rapidly disappearing from their State
but want Il distinctly understood that this
does not refer TO what they call the "noble
game OF draw poker," but 20 bufialoes, an.
tel0pes, bears and "other varmlnts.D
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

Somebody has rather stirred mp the
Philadelphia Press by telling 1t that Gen.
Robt. Il. Lees son loaned his tather's
saddle and bride to Fitzhugh Lee. Demo
cratic candidate for Governor Of Virginia,
and told him 70 proceed with his cam
pbign, (which must arouse the Confeder
ate patriotism OF every true Virginian.',
IL will probably recover its nerves in time
10 help with few quarts Of tears when IL
comes time 10 water the grave Of the
grand old party in Virginia.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-25

Since Gen. Rosecraus has declined 10
take the stump IN OHIO, 1t IL asserted
that the President will not permit any OF
the officials OF the government TO neglect
their duties or be absent even temporarily
from their Offices IN order 10 devote them
selves 10 partisan service. This is
Democratic reform idea that every good
citizen in the country should approve.