davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03

Some of the Errors Which the Farmer is
Likely to Make.

Some of the Errors Which the Farmer Is
Likely to Make.
One of our most valuable exchanges
gives the following a. dangerous mis-
takes for the farmer:
l. To think that any one can farm;
that a man who has starved as a can
vasser for a patent %toothpick, or has
been unsuccessful as a carpenter can
jump into business requiring high in
telligence and preserving efforts, and
being utterly unfamiliar with details be
ably to make money.
2. The idea that a large farm, half
stocked and poorly cultivated. pays
better than q few acres we'll and care
fully titled.
8. What is it but the worst kind of
a mistake to pay hundreds OF dollars
for good farm machinery, and for
want of proper shelter allow it to rot
and become useless a year or SO sooner
that it should. I
4. It is a mistake to let year after
year pass with no attempt to improve
the quality of the farm stock. Blooded:
stock pay. They make beef quick, the
COWS give more and richer milk. Better
blood in horses pays. A Norman or
part Norman colt is a valuable piece of
property.
5. To let foolish pride or narrow
minded prejudice prevent the adoption
of new methods when they have been
proved by practical men.
6. To get up after the sun, lean on
the fork handle, speculate an hour or
two upon what the weather is going to
be and then wonder why farming don't
pay.
Z. To leave a lot of unchopped wood
wet or half-split at the pile, a lot OF old
harness hanging in the kitchen, and
muddy tracks in the dining-room, and
expect to see the women folks good
natured.
8. To have a lot of half-fed, ema-
ciated, lonesome-looking fowls roost-
ing dejectedly in some old apple tree,
when a few good healthy, well-bred
chickens, properly housed. would make
the poultry yard an honor instead Of a
disgrace.-M. Y. Farmer.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03

threatening them old boys, until it
seemed like he got sowore out he could
jest manage to 10Y it soft like; and
believe me as soon as them boys see he
was sorter disabled they took a rest,
too, and the noise got lesser and lesser,
till You could hear only the little baby
whistle, and it sounded real sweet. Eff
it had jest lasted a minute longer l
think l might have caught that chime,
if there was one; but the old man
got up his wind too soon, and away
they all went again like a pack of
hounds in full cry, At last human
natur' couldn't stand no more, and
they blowed and beat themselves clean
out, the school-master dropped his
stick, and the boys fell back breath
less, and before they could get up more
steam the curting went up and the
Opery began.
You want tc hear the story. docs
you? Well, it was pretty, but eff 1
hadn't read that library 1 never would
have knowed ~wkS.6kney was after.
You see there was a widower Count
with a name sounded like it was Ar
mold or something, and it had a pretty
little gal which her name was Arleen-
ner, and she and her nurse vas in the
room with him when the curting goes
up, and the Count begins to sing how
| sorry ne is his wife is dead, and how he
loves his baby. Jest think of that,
simgim' all that, and liftin' up the little
gal and kissin' her to music! Who
ever heard tell of SIGH nonsense? Do
you suppose if my wife was dead I
would go and sing to a thousand or so
people to tell 'em how sorry
/ was, and how 1 loved my
baby? No; it's agin mater from
beginnin' to end. Well, as
soon as he got through he went away.
and the nurse takes the little gal up in
the mountains to pick flowers. They
had hardly got out before here came
q big fat Polisher named Thaddeus.
He was a waller, too. The Count
walled in a voice most fine enough for
a woman, but Thaddeus was a base
waller; it sounded like thunder; and he
sung first in the lower part of his
chist, and [ thought it was morally i'm
possible he could 60 any lower, when
he jumped right down to the lower
part of his stomach, and before you
had time to wonder how he could do
it, there was his voice way down in the
soles of his boots. 1t certainly was
a feenominer how he could do r..
Well, his wall was all about his coun-
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03
P,rH AND POINT.

The divorce courts ought to b0
Abolished. They encourage TOO many
meIo to be false to the Union.
A tifty-dollar ring may not typify
the depth of the love that presents it,
but it may tell a tale of terrible strain
upon the pocket that pays for it.-FaW
River Advance.
If n have business across the
water, it is all right, or if he goes for
Improvement to mind or body; but this
going abroad merely for the sake of
Dragging about it is q broad farce
Boston Post.
Feather beds having gone out of
fashion, the economicalfair ones utilize
h contents of their old mattresses by
piling them upon their head gear. The
plumage of two well-flled ticks is quite
sufficient for the average bonnet.-Ms
Y. Mail.
"A well-dressed and pretty young
woman, who went about in New York
saying that she wanted to get married,
was promptly clapped into an insane
asylum. When a woman wants a hus-
band and does not continually declare
she would not touch a horrid man With
a ten-foot pole, it is a sure sign of in.
anity.-PAIadelphiia CAL.
Woman is herself a creature of in.
tuition, as everybody will admit; but
that no reason why she should sallv
out on the street with a thick drab veil
drawn over her face away down to
her chin. and then expect every male
being of her acquaintance she meets to
recognize her half a block away
SomerviWe journal.
How q physician lost a patient:
Doctor" said an old granger to q
smart, young physician, "w,hat would
you do for . third5day chills when
quinine has no more effect than so
much clear water:?" Gin the first
place." answered the doctor, with q
dry smile, Il would call in a good
physician" ''Thank you," said the
granger, rising to go, II will do a.
you say. l reckon LII find DR.. Smith
in his office. Good-day.n-San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
I'll know" said the agent, '.that
the house isn't in very good condition,
and that the location isn't the best, but
you'll have splendid neighbors here"
'Indeed." s.Yes'm. Best. neiehbors
in the world; kind and generous. For
the first six months you'll be able to
borrow anything from them. from q
flat-iron to tea and sugar. Why, the
last tenant here borrowed the cooking
stove of the people next door, and used
it SO long that the folks went and
bought another for their, own use. On.
it's the best neighborhood you, could
get nto."-BostoW Courier.
Mistress Ito applicant for service)
-''How many nights out a week?"
APPROXIMATIONS, mum: OF niver
sthir out" Mistress-''WiN you have
many friends to seeyou?' Applicant
'.Not wan, mum OF have no friends?,
M;stress-.'What wages will you exc
pect?" Applicant-''Oi'll lave that to
ye, num-" Mistress-"What kind of
homework are YOU willing for?" APP
plicant-''O'm willin' to wash an airun
an cook an scrub, an clane windys an
wait on table an take care av childer
an carry IN coal an build faires''-
(Here a loud ringing was heard at the
door and the keeper Of an asylum
rushed in and secured the lunatic.)-
London Punch.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03

What Opcry did / see? l see the
Operv OF the Bohemian Gal. How did
like it? Well. 1 liked it pretty toler-
bic, not out and out; the fact is they
spilled it by ovcrdoin' the singin' part.
You know yourself the way to spite a
thing is to overdo it, and that's jest
what they does in the Opery. They
min is fine. Tho actin is beanti-
ful. and the rooms is fixed up splendid;
but the singin' is %oyerdone. But 1 am
maxim a transgression, as the preach
ers say.
You see, 1 went to New York on a
slght-seein' expedition. l had madea
tne cotton crop, and my wife said she
would go aud stay at her mothers with
the baby. and I could go and see the
world; SC 1 went right to New York,
and l saw it. Bob he stuck to me, and
put me right through. Well, Thought
must have seen everything that was
to be seen, and 1 was tired, and could
90 home with a clar conscience, when
300 come to me and seZ.
LA, Jack! l like to let you 60 home
without seein' the best thing n New
what's that?" SCI I, surprised, not
TO say discouraged.
Why, it's the Opery of the Bohe-
miIn Gal. 1 tell you she's beautiful,
She is!' seq Bob. :.
Now look here, Bob Tompkins,
SEE l. I'm a married man, II In
eo!n back to my wife able to answer
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03

me Is the life to lead," and they rung
the changes on chat noble sentiment
till Thaddeas lost his head entirely,
anu aha sa:d ne would jlne to 'em; and
clothes. F
In another minute thar was another
lung tearin', ear Dustin blowouts.
Men. women and children rushed in
slngln' at the top of their voices that
the Counts little gal ard her nurse had
been eat up BY wild animal in the
mountain. Then there came the Count
slngln' how sorry he was. I was fair
~ out of patience with his unnatural
ness. instead of runnin' out to save his
child, to walk up and down before all
them people singin'. I amt no sort of
patience with dead beats. Thaddeus
a more sense; he picked up a gun
which was lying handy, and away he
went. Them mountains and wild
beasts must have been right at the
door, for Thaddeus was hardly gone
before he was back again with the baby
in his arms. he havin' been to the
mountains. killed the wild beast, and
saved the baby and nurse in not more
than three minutes. He was a sight
quicker than the patent exterminator.
Well, then Their was another ear bust
in. lung tearin' blow-outs. The Count
embraced and kissed the baby to music,
n sent her off to the house to have a
little scratch on her arm tied up. which
was all the hurt she had, which it
shows you can't believe anything you
hears. The report was that baby and
nurse was eat up; the nurse wasn't
hurt. and the baby had a tiea-bite. I
doubt myself if there was any wild
,bSst in the matter: all to get up
a sensation. But the Count be-
lieved it; you could see that bv
the way he acted. He shook
Thaddeus' hand and sung he was so
much obliged to him. Thaddeus sung
it didn't make no difference in the
world. The Count sung couldn't he
do something for him? Thaddeus sung
no he thanked him. The Count sung
wouldn't he take a glass of wine?
Thaddeus sung he didn't keer if he
did.
Then, as bad luck would have it, the
Count purposed the health of the En-
peror, which was the same which had
banished Thaddeus, and Thaddeus
dashed his glass down and broke it all
to pieces, which made the Count so
mad he forgot all about what Thad-
deus had done, and had him arrested
then and thar. and Devilshoof, too;
but Devilshoof was too smart for 'em;
he got hold of the baby, and every
body took after him; but he ran across
a bridge, and took a little knife out of
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03

Eff I could have got at him l would
have knocked him down then and thar,
but not beiri' able, l used my sarcastic
vain on him and said: I'D have you
for 70 know, sir, / am a gentlemen
from the State of Georgy, and we sets
on cheers down thar, and leaves the
boxes to the people from New York"
To all appearance sarcasm run OFT of
that man like water off of a ducks
back. He only grinned, and showed
off to advantage a full set of store
teeth. which must have cost a sight of
money. He throwed me a ticket. and
told me to go in at the door he pinted
out. But law me! them people haven't
any manners. A man at the door took
my ticket away from mt without sayin'
..by your leave" and tore it in two and
gave me back half. and before l could
take it out on him for his rudeness a
boy seized that and dragged ME off by
the arm down a passage between the
seats, which was all folded neatly up
like they had jest come in from the
wash. He unfolded one of these.
pushed me in, and throwed my little
| piece of ticket after me, and was gone
before you could say Jack Robin
son."
1t seemed a pretty hard case that
with people insultin' him right and left
a Georgy man couldn't get a chance to
knock one of 'em down. But so 1t
was, and 1 tried to kind a dewitt
my thoughts from my agggrawa-
tions by lookin' round: 1t
certainly was a slightly place, and what
with the big chandelier up in the cell.
in, and the little chandeliers all
around, it sorter looked like a sunshiny
dav; and then the lights glitterin' on
the diamonds and pearls and chalce,
donies and jacinths that was hangln'
roand the women would a put the
foundations of the celestial city out o
countenanca The men was mostly
bald headed and wared swallow tail
coats, and men and women was armed
with double barrel spy glasses, which
they gave them q comical appearance
Some of these SAID spy glasses was SC
large in proportion to the men tina they
looked like Steam engines with a double
light. One little Dald headed gentle
man sitting nexu to me had the bigges!
pair in the mousse. He actually lookeo
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03

try, how he had been banished, and it
he wen. back he would have his head
cut of. ans ell that. 1t would a been
real. d~istressin' Of it had only been
natural for him to cry and groan and
grunt to music. jest as he finished his
story, here came in a party of Gipsies.
running in that sudden from all the
openin's OF the stage that it took away
my breath. They rushed right up, to
Thaddeus and was going to kill him
then and thar to the sound OF music,
when ther Captain, which had the
name of Devlishoof Ga bad name that
for an honest many no e Thaddeus
was a soldier and stopped the
KILN. Thaddeus sung EN- q
history of his troubles, and then
they all broke out like a house
attire %screechin' at him: "a GYpsey's
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03

HIS pOChCC anu JcSt Cu1 IL uOWu dACcE
him. and the curling come down. while
the people fairly yelled and clapped
their hands and tried to Guido the OPP
cry in noise.
Then the little man next to me,
which was bald headed and had the
prize spy glasses, took 'em down and
wiped 'em, and said, settlin' himself.
sit will be twelve years before the
next scene"
[ was perfectly dumbfoundered at his
savin' such a thing, and I SEE, seq 1:
'.Is that a joke, sir? for I can't stay
here no twelve years. I am from
Georgy, and my wife and child are
there. and I've got my Twin to make"
..Well, he swelled up like. he would
bust, and the lady next him laughed
right out loud. He was very polite
though. and told me they was goin' to
pertendl 1T was twelve years. and Arleen-
ner would be growed up; and sure
enough when it went up thar she was
leastways they wanted me to believe it
was the same which was asleep on afur
skin; and thar was Thaddeus watchin'
over her, and then she woke up, and
they began to sing love at each other.
And it was real pretty too; more chune
about it than anything I had heard
from 'em, only Thaddeus was
too old and fat for her.
When she first woke up she
san to him about a dream she had
dreamed, all about how she lived in a
fine house built of marble, and had
plenty of niggars to wait on her, and
fine clothes and jewelry and everything
she wanted, but how she didn't keer
about any of it cause he was there and
loved her, and she truly did look pretty
and sang beautiful. It made me. think
of the time my wife and me were court
in, only we didn't sing-mav be be-
cause we couldn't. And then he kissed
and Rugged her, which if ther had not
been so many people round would have
been very natural. Then he sung how
when she was a baby he had saved her
life, and he showed her the scar Oh hcy
arm.
But they don't rest easy long in OPP
cries. This was too pretty and soft to
last. The Gypsy Queen was in love
with Thaddeus, and when she found he
was sparkin' Arleenner, she laid plan
against 'em. She made out how Ar
leG0nCT udu SGOlc u 1OChCO OCAOASiu W
the Count, and she was arrested and
taken before him, and it was
proved aginst her. and they was
Just about to put her in jail,
when the Count saw the scar
on her arm, and knowed it was his
lost child; and then come another
Dustin fuss. The Count sung he was
so glad, and Arleenner sung SO was
she. And he sung he was goin' to
marry her to the Kings o N, and she
put her pretty arms around Thaddeus,
and sung she wouldn't marry anybody
but him, and the Count sung sht
couldn't marry a Gypsy, and Thad.
deus up and drawed out a paper ane
said that proved he wasn't no Gypsy
but a big man in his own country
and so the Count gave his consent
and you thought all was goin' straigh
at last, wien in came that Clips.
Queen with q Gypsy she had hired t.
kill Arleenner, and, as good lucl
would have it, he missed is aim AM
killed the Queen. And l felt lik
jumping up and cracking my heels to
gether, I was so glad. she was sucl
an awful shriekcr, and hateful, be
sides. And then that was ALL
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03

] "A count of the names Of Northern
people on the Jacksonville (Fla.) hotel
registers shows figures like the follow.
ing: February, 1881. 9,4l0; 1884
10, 574, and 1855, IL. 1l4.--N. J. Sun.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03
IN A SLEEPING CAR.

How the cowboy Conducts Himself in Ono
of These Adjuncts of Civilization.
"Where do I Campo" he inquired,
and was shown the lower berth next to
ne. "That's my pigeon-hole, is it7
All right, old son, just watch my mo-
zion while I file myself away"
At this juncture he was desired to
turn over his revolver to the porter,
which he declined to. do in a very spir-
| ted hammer.
"'Old Dad (his revolver) and me al
ways sleep together, and we don't want
40 divorce" he explained,
The conductor demonstrated, but was
advised not to try to ''bra;d this mules
Sail"
This here's a sleepin' car, amt ita''
he at length inquired.
eyes"
'Well, why don't you let people
sleep then, when they've paid and gone
into your game9s Ii you're aiming to
keep people awake and want company,
lust dance into the next car; there's
lots of folks there don't want to. sleep,
nohow, and they'll be glad to see
YOU"
The conductor withdrew. and my
friend pulled off his boots and stretched
| himself, with many comments in an
undertone on the poverty of the r.
roundings.
In about ten minutes this erratic per-
son had his head out in the aisle.
.sSay, you boy!" to- the porter.
'tWell sah."
'tCome a runninf.n
The porter drew near and was
handed a pillow about as, big as q PIN
cushion.
Take that gooseha'r thing away"
| commanded the cowb0y.
Don't you want a pillow, sah?"
asked the porter.
.sThat amt no pillow, and l don't
want it nohow; I'm afraid it'll get in
my ear"
After this, silence, and for a short
time I slept. / reused up, however,
at an exclamation ON the part of my
neighbor.
"Hold on there, nay son, jist drap
them boots"
Il was only jest gwine to black 'em.
boss"
..Drap EN-"
They drapped.
"Jest gwine to pun them spurs. I
reckon. Now, don't monkey. around
my camp. taking things NJ more. Il:
you want anything, speak for it. II
you can't speak make signs. and if You
can't make signs shake a bush. lon
h'ar me?n
Eyes, sah."
After this, silence. The wheels and
rails AGAIN san together. and the. car
emily l slept without interrnR tion>-
Rocky Mountain NeUs.
"A count of the names Of Northern
people on the Jacksonville (Fla.) hotel
registers shows figures like the follow
ing: February, 1881. 9,4l0; 1884
10. 574, and 1885, 12.1l4.--N. J. Sun.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03
''1-oMMY."
A Plain Sketch, Plainly Told.

"IOMMY.'
APlaiN Sketch, Plainly Told.
.- ----
- -
a.,mv? Yes, sir, that's his name,
1on naing er old 1t III be the anne
An NE ez longs live; He's jist thirteen;
l i KIN KIN w vfha' az me an not that hea'f tryl
Nv rs sir, Wen he wv, Wnz n MY three u, q
ne, i listen t. all l he'd to say
a. sich a Gurus, comical way
That "a lat aa an boiler sanr ILL., i got so sore
&c, ro'Ih his mother, too, she'd chuckle and grin
a hor 'er sides an weave 'er chin
a. nnn.k;ardsa an for'ards-here an there
Like a punch soou "uAnof see'sa"in Sne
nh he wuz smart for o little chap.
Come nat'ral You see-from mother'n pap!
b ,"; there where his mother n 1 alluz agree.
nnsley Yes, a little an kind o. slim,
an / reckon that's wy we've tho't more o.
oban Of the rest. We love him better n we
do our souls,
An 'spect, wen the tide O. eternity rolls
nnnwn our way, an mother N me
w deaths undertOw are carried to sea-
our last tho'ts III be o. that boy.
rommy's fifteen an I've sem him to school
Ware lie wanted to go; for l don't blieye in
the old fashioned rule
n bringin' boys up eZ we hev been bro't,
Scr in teachin' 'em things ez we hev been
tot;
AM lettin' 'em toller ware their minis want
At least them's my idees, be they right er
An ef I've been mistaken, Tommy, fore
viii Ie Show list how much an show in what
way
,.,,oj, hoor rn~o n -aou }yok - - ynp .
MS kinder lonesome wen he's not ut hum,
AN Il years a long time, but Wen he does
come
That the lightest, high .ioatin'. mere speak
of a lou
Wont be enny lightcr'n I'll feel.
qommy's at home an he's come home t.
STAY;
But wen he got here, all the brightness o.
Fer mother N me faded right out o. sight
Feared to melt right away, an the middle
couldn't be emmy darker, ner filed 18th more
Than the space that's Enclosed in that ar
It shouldn't be so, 'coz Tommy's in there:
But it's no place for me; an the hot. scorch-
wich comes thro' that door fist makes me
that weak
That i can't hardly stand-I don't try t.
speak:
Nv Hart all the time feels heavy ez lead,
An things are all twisted oun in my head;
Nv throat keeps a swellin', an my eyes git
uim
18th tears I can't hep wen I hin about
him.
The house is that quiet an solum' an still
1t don't seem like home, an I'm 'fraid never
Evcrmorc. The birds act like they wuz sor-
~ tor me,
Fer they amt a bit wild like they're us'n to
be.
An the low, purity tones they keeps tryin' t.
sing,
TO me, amt got the same musical ring
They had onct. Even the leaves the
long wavin' grass
Seem to know suthin's wrong, for they bend
Form me everything IS wrong, an a suthln' in
side
All the time keeps u hummin': ''Too much
airtnly pride
In any one thing must be humblcd."
The bible sex: "Worship no idul o. stun,
Nor idul o tlcsl," an we've worshipped one
Fer days an fer years.; but now It's torn
down.
God teaches hard lessons, but it's no use to
frown
At His teachin', ner complain o. the way
He stops folks from worshippin' iduls o. clay,
Fer He knows better'n they.
Chris IAN Dcrdnter, in Indianapolis Journal
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-07-03
AT THE OPERA.
A Man From "Georgy" Sees the
bohemian Gal"

Of all the slightly places IN this sub
loonary spear New York is the sightli-
est, and by the help Of my friend Bob
1ompkins l saw all there was to see.
II will always be a Twin, CROWN CON
solat on to me that thar wasn't a mon
key nor none that acted like 'em (and
a plenty thar was which for antics and
foolery you couldn't tell from the fool
Hooded animal) that I didn't see by
the help of Bob. What's that? You
say You bet l didn't see the Opery?
You bet I did!