Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1885-03-07
HIRAM JENKINS MISTAKE


road that led to the farmhouse of Deacon
Bates 1t was plain even to the casual OBJ
server that the errand he was on was Of no
common Importance. No man would have
arrayed himself so gorgeously simply for
the purchase of 4 tub of fall butter or q
yoke OF steers. His hair was in state of
distressing smoothness, and seemed almost
part of the glossy hat which covered IT.
His coat and pantaloons were marvellous
i'll their way, and his boots, which had
been deliberately BACKED, reflected back the
rays of the setting sun in manner per-
fcctly binding to the beholder. And yet,
notwithstanding his superiority in all these
respects to the lilies of the field. there was
apparent in his action singular sort of
nervousness, a trepidation almost, which
rendered his appearance at once ridicu-
lous and awkward. The trepidation
was in no wise lessened by the sudden
vision of red-headed urchin watch
ing him from the barn-door, and
who as the team approached, with an ever
widening grin, sped off in the direction OF
the farmhouse and disappeared through
the kitchen door Hiram was conscious a
minute afterwards Of being the target for
half dozen pairs of eyes from the sitting
room windows, and it required extraordi-
nary strength of mind on his part to drive
I,ast the house to the shed where the horses
OF all visitors were hitched. There are
few more awkward things to do than to
get out or in u carriage when women are
watching, and though Hiram had prob
ably never thought of the fact before, he
fully experienced its truth, as, endeayoring
10 spring gracefully from the buggy, his
foot slipped on the wheel and he came
down on his hands and knees in the dirt.
His remarks as he scrambled to his feet
were confined to one word, but that, though
short was the most expressive one in the
English language.
I'll have to 20 round to the barn pump
and wash my hands before | can go in" he
said to himself. | suppose they are hav
ing their fun out of me i'll the house now.
Coufound it, wish hadn't started y
As he passed the door OF the horse-barn,
which was partly open, he heard the
sound OF voices. lie listened, and his heart
rank as he recognized the tones of his
rival, Elnathan Rogers.
81 want her bad" he was saying. "She
Just suits me. You can't always have her,
you know, and you'd better call the thing
settled"
Il don't know about that" answered
the deacon, doubtfully. Give always
said, come what would, I wouldn't part
with Jenny. But you hang on So l don't
know"
say it's bargain, deacon I've thought
IL over a good while, and Jenny l must
have. III treat her well, you may he sure
Of that"
The deacon hesitated, blew his nose, and
finally said:
She's got some little tricks that nobody
knows nothing about but me, and | don't
want to impose upon neighbor"
"Oh, Fshaw that's only an excuse, dea-
con. Pm willing to risk it."
''She kicked me in the stomach last win
ter and bit little Sammie not more than
six weeks ago. | can show you the scar
now"
"Great kingl" thought Hiram, "and
here | was going to pop the question this
very night. Who would have thought it /"
"Fll take that out of her." said Elna-
than, continuing the conversation. "If
she 80 much us lifts her foot against me,
I'll give her a lickin' that'll last month"
Lick !" calculated Hiram to himself,
astonished beyond measure. click Jenny
Bates Well, this goes ahead of anything
| ever heard of. And the old man doesn't
say a word What next2"
A pause ensued, which was at last
broken by the deacon:
oil ! hoy
| expect the old lady'll want something to
say about it, though. She thinks as much
Of Jenny as | do. Won't you come into
the house ~
"Not now. Pve got to 90 down to the
village before dark I'll be around some
time tomorrow"
Hiram Jenkins waited until he saw his
successful rival climb the fence between
the two farms. Then he deliberately I'M
hitched his horse, got into his wagon and
drove OFF, never casting look toward the
window where the fair Jenny sat in watch
full expectation. Not until he reached his
own door did he draw long breath
-" 1t seems Just like dream" said he to
himself as he slowly unbuckled the har-
ness. To think of Jenny Bates kicking
her own father and biting her little
brother, and she looking as though butter
wouldn't melt in her mouth It's Just as
mean, though, in the Deacon to lick as It's
for her to kick. The old hypocritel Well,
l must say Pm nightly deceived in the
Bateses. | s'pose Elnathan Rodgers feels
cranky enough now he's got her. | lust
hope she'll kick his head off. Lucky for
me overheard what did"
Notwithstanding this INSTRUMENTATION
Hiram felt all the pangs Of disappointment
and jealousy. He had not only lost his
girl, but had been cut in the most NOR
tliying manner by man ne held in
thorough contempt He felt that even
with what he knew of Jcnny's faults, If he
could gam her hand he would carry her off
in spite OF his rival or the Deacon either.
week passed by, and Jenny was never
out of Hiram's thoughts. One day he
went to the village, and while there stand
ing in front Of the poatolIice, Elnathan
Rogers drove by with the deacon's mare.
al s'pose now he's got Jenny he thinks
he's got a right to the whole property"
muttered Hiram. a wish to gracious the
old mare would put her feet through the
dashboard p
That night the singingschool met at the
Academy. Hiram came late. He used to
sit with the tenors just behind Jenny
Bates. Now he chose different seat, and
tried hard to sing bass. He could not,
however, help seeing Elnathan Rogers
pass PEPPERMINT lozenges to Jenny, and also
write something on blank leaf of her sing
ing-book, which she read and answered.
''0f course he'll go home with her to-
night" thought Hiram. It'll be the hrst
time Eve missed it for Il year. He's well
come, though"