Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-03-19
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN Mrs Pinaphor read that mill oper-
ator in Philadelphia ''had thousand hands,"
she looked a little credulOus, and then quietly
observed that lit must cost him an awful lot
of money for gloves. "-NOTristolca Herald.
A ROUGH-APPEARING FELLOW applied at a
police station in Boston for lodging on
Saturday night. "Too late; it is after 10
theatre, and couldn't get here any sooner"
said the tramp.-Eochdn0e.
ONE town in North Carolina shipped last
year 03,000,000 cigarettes. And we had sup
posed the war had ended twenty years ago.
What the South failed to do by the bullet it
may ct succeed in doing with the tobacco
cartridge. Boston transcript.
THE love of draw pok err passeth all under
standing. If player is constant winner he
is a gambler, and should quit. If he is steady
loser he is a fool, and should play no more, If
it is a see-saw arrangement, the players eat
up and drink up the profits, and should be in
better business.-Nel0 Orleans Picdyune.
s.BLINKINs," said Jones, ''this is the highest
time tor money | ever saw. Why. there don't
seem to be any in circulation. How do you
account for it?" Oh, that's easy enough,
Jones. You see, my wife has been laid up
with rheumatism for the past month and
hasn't been able TO go out shopping. When
she gets on her feet again it'll be all right."-
Carl Pretseps Weekly.
CHEERIER and cheerier grow the days,
And the storms are fewer and fewer,
Warmer each day grow the SUMS glad rays,
And the skies grow bluer and bluer;
And the wife with only shawl to her back
Has ceased her hullabaiO0,
And cries no more for seal5kln sacquc
And fur-lined circular too.
Boston Conrier.
A WASHINGTON DUDE of the culchaw school
tried it on a Wisconsin man. Approaching
sturdy, rather rustic person IN the Post once
building our dude asked if he had seen Col.
''Veela'' go in "Eh2" saId the Wolverine,
with a bewldcred air. "Culchaw" spelled
out the name, Villas. "BOther," was the re-
mark, "you want Villas. l guess Bill hasn't
got IN To- Graphic.
HAVING a Clear Understandings Nov"
said the bridegroom to the bride, when they
returned from the honeymoon trip, ''let us
have a clear understanding before we settle
down to married life; are you to be president
or vice president of this concern?" 81 want
to be neither president nor vice president"
she answered, II will be content with sub
ordinate position" "What is thatf" Soon
troler of the currency."-BOSton Courier.
AMATTER OF TASTE: (Which is your favor
able hymn, Miss Overbash?" asked the new
preacher of young lady at the church So
ciable. "Oh! I-I-dOn't like to say" why
not, pray? We all have our favOritcs and |
like to know the preference of the young Ia
dies of my congregation well, If | must
tell, rather like Sam Flanders, and l don't
care who knows it," "Oh, an! yes. see,"
said the preacher in some surprise. You pre-.
fer the psalms Well, some people do."-Ie1dS
Siftings.
''NOw," SAID Wylie, "there's horse as is a
horse Why, that fellow beat Maud S. once"
''COme, now. that won't do"
81 tell it's a fact l was driving along one
day when L saw Maud 5. ahead of me. Now
for it, l says, and gave the boy the bit. Well,
sirs passed the crack trotter in half min
ute
''Houest?"
Eyes, honest-but then Maud S. was going
the other way."-PHtSburG Chronicle 7eIe-
GrdDh.
Mr.. GLADsToNE's LAMENT
With the Arabs in the desert still defiant,
And the Irish handling dynamite with glee,
And the followers of MahOmet none too
plant,
And the Russians on the Afghan boundary;
With the Germans in the colonies, so pIggish,
And hundred thousand duties to be done;
Harrassed by Opposition manners priggish,
Oh, a Premier's life is not happy one.
With hundred thousand duties to be done
to be done.
oh. Premier's lot is not happy one.
Columbus ohio Dispatch.
Oh, dainty Kitty, if you knew
Ny loves profound degree,
know you'd pity if you knew,
And give your heart to me.
For when / meet you on the street
And lightly lift my hat,
Within my breast, alas! my own
Poor heart goes pity Pat.
So Kitty put your hand In mine
And let it nestle there,
And you shall he my Irish queen
without an Irish care.
And then my heart that all for you
Often goes rat-a-tat,
Shall gladly cease within my breast,
It's pity, pity rat.