Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-09

oNDoN charity supports $1,000 paupers."
rms Is exclusive OF the royal family, we be-
HeYe.-Nele YORK Graphic.
Tub QeattrV contains an article on the
hhanclal education VI women. If It's object is
70 teach woman that her husbands salary of
$l,500 VIII not enable her to spend $1,000 = year
ana lay up something for a rainy day, it
should be widely read.-Norrjsto,on Herdld.
PHYsICIAN-''You do not need medicine at
all, Take plenty Of exercise and a mild tonic
say bottle OF claFet every day." Patient
IN slarm)- oh, no. Ic4n't do hat Him.
Temperance man. "Oh. no! But the fact
is ! was In the wine business myself once,
and know how 1t is made. - PHILADELPHIA
CaLt.
WELL, ROBERT, an 'ow did you like Ham
ericat" On, hi liked it well enough. We
know, only they live SO blarsted fast over
there" DO they, tnought' AYE, an they
90 that. Wv blarst me If they don't live so
last that when they send a man to prison for
ten years he serves bout mis- term in seven, ye
know Chtca90 Mems.
SAY" shouted a boy, in front of the City
Han, the other afternoon, Something like
fifty men came to a dead halt. "Sav your
wife said | was to tell you not to forget to
TO bring home tea - continued the boy, in
louder voice. Forty five men wheeled, slap
ped their legs and grnnted out: Hanged if
l hadn't forgotten all about it!'--DetrOU Free
Press.
THE new special delivery service Is a great
boom" said Norristown young lady this
morning, sticking a nc. stamp on a letter
directed to female friend in Philadelphia,
SAID missiye conveying the important inLelli
gence Lnab the writer was out riding with
Charlie yesterday afternoon, and had an in
Nltatlon to attend a wedding next week.
AorrlStO1CN Herald.
GOLD PROB" one day predicted hail.
And the weather was Just splendid"
To make connections he did fal,
From what he had intendet
We cannot always sometimes itlL,
Not landsman, soldier, sailor;
our predict In this 1t was-ah, wei,
1t was "Signai failure" -Sanl.
CLARA lin carriage with horse running
away DO you think you can stop him with
one hand, George.v
George with teeth set)-''I d-don't tn think
l. can stop, him, b-but c-can keep him in
the r-road."
Clara with perfect conidencel-s'verv
We'll try It for another mile. and then il he
doesn't stop, use both hands.-Eechdnge.
THE bomb which George Frisbie Hoar
hurled from Massachusetts in the direction of
the rebel army OF ONO, fell far short of the
marx, and at last accounts was soughing and
sizzling around in a horse pond in the eastern
part OF \ Ork state like a seidlitz powder in A
TN dipper. Mr.. Hoar's mistake lay in using
a drng store mortar instead of the kind usu-
aiY employed in modern warfare. - Chicago
Nelos.
OLD PROF. GAsAwAY one night last week
was dlsturbe1 by the ringing of his dOorbell.
hastlly enVeloplng his figure in a dressin z
gown, he threw open q window and, sticking
out ms head, asked what was the cause of the
disturbance
"The burglars are bad, and we only wanted
10 tell You that one of your windows is open. ="
w hich One2' he asked anXiously.
"Ihe one you have got your head stuck out
OF, Profess r" replied the students in chorus.
--Iecds SLtingS.
He was an actor ana he played
A blOated millionaire,
Who scattered, SYSTEMATICALLY,
His money everywhere;
Who lived in priucely luxury,
And diamonds gave away
To her who was TO be his bride
At no r-distant day;
Who always in his carriage rode
When home be spent his time,
And always took palace car
When travelling he went.
Alas, the satire stern. Of fate.
The manager decamped:
And then our millionaire, on foot
And hungry, homeward tramped.
Boston Gasette.