Huntsville gazette., 1885-07-04
ROBINSON'S WIFE.
A Custom-House Sketch by Man
Of Experience.

l was going to write story without
moral to it, but my wife says the
thing can't be done, and so, to please
her, l am going to commence this by
remarking that Honesty is the best
policy" My wife says that the fellow
who wrote that had tried the other
thing first, and that was exactly the
case with the man whose story am
going to tell you just as he told it to
me.
We had made friends, after the fash
ion Of ocean travellers, on a recent voy-
age across the Atlantic; had smoked
more than one cigar together pacing
the deck of the steamer, and had con-
doled with each other over the short
comings OF our respective room-mates
though had we roomed together we
should probably have found even more
fault with each other. And now we
were approaching the stage in which
mutual condolences and the compari-
son of experiences were the order of the
day.
As we neared the American shore
the conversation not otunnaturally turned
upon that topic so familiar to ocean
travellers the contents of our various
snspedimenta and the steps we respect
lively proposed To take in reference to
the approaching visit of the Custom
house officials.
.'Well." said l, ".Honesty is the best
policy after all. 1t certainly gives the
least trouble. Besides, [ have a con-
scientious objection to swearing falsely
anyhow, and [ confess it seems to me
that you can not avoid either lying or
declaring what you have. And, indeed,
and once in awhile have to pay My
conscience is clear, and l believe if
were to reckon up my outgoiGgs in du-
ties they would not equal what many
of my friends who cross less often spend
in fees to the officials -
Mr.. Robinson-that wasn't his name.
and my wife says surely might think
of something better to call him than
that-Mr. Robinson, I say, looked
rather distressed at the turn the con-
versation was taking.
He addressed me next in a tone of
almost pathetic solemnity:
Brown, my dear fellow''-Brown
isn't my name either, but let it pass
''Brown. my dear fellow, take nv ad-
vice and let the Custom-house people
alone"
looked at Robinson little curious
ly. Had the notion affected his reason,
or was that last cocktail which that
hospitable fellow Jones insisted in
pressing upon us while ago little
too-too?
I'm sure am agreeable" at last
remarked; ''but it's hardly question
of choice. It's rather in their option
whether they'll let us alone, isn't it?''
Robinson looked nervously around
as though afraid of being overheard,
and then whispered in tones of awe
thrilling intensity:
''For Heavens sake, Brown, don't
let her know that told you!''
l was about to remark in tone of
thoughtless levity that, considering
he had not so far confided anything to
me, should hardly be in a position to
divulge his secret, even if so inclined.
But restrained myself, from an in
stinctive feeling that there was some
thing more behind, and only re-
marked:
by hev' presume you mean Mrs.
Robinson?"
..Just so!'' he replied. "She would
never forgive me if she knew that I had
told YOU"
But you haven't told me-" expos
tulated:
Light fresh cigar" was the an
swer, land let's sit down here under
the shelter of the cabin, and I will tell
you why never see certain brave
officer without cold shudder."
eve were on our wedding trip, Mrs.
Robinson and l, in the spring of 1S-
well, Mrs. Robinson doesn't like me to
say how long we have been married,
but it is several years ago. At that
time travelling in Europe was hedged
about with many difficulties from
which now it is, thank Heaven, COM
paratively Free Passports were to be
provided. and what not; and, in short,
it was the end and object of every
petty principality-this was before '66
and sovereign princes were as plenty
as blackberries in mid-Europe-to
make it as unpleasant as possible for
any traveller not properly accredited to
his or their Serene Highness.
However, this has little or nothing
to do with my story, which relates eX-
clusiyely to my experience with the
Custom-house officials, except it be 10