The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-07-09
THE CHURCH DEBT.
nm Nye, in New York Mereury,l

nave pcOu IllllkluB the IlldUleT
over seriously and l have decided that
II | had my life to live over again, /
would like to be an eccentric million
aire.
l have eccentricity enough, but I
cannot successfully push it without
more means.
] have a great many plans which /
would like to carry out in case l could
unite the two necessary elements for
the production OF the successful eccen-
trio millionaire.
Among other things would be will
ing to bind myself and give proper Sc
curity to any one who would put in
money to Offset my eccenticity that
would ultimately die. We all know
how seldom the eccentric millionaire
now dies. | would be willing to inau-
gurate a reform in that direction.
! think now that | would endow a
home for men whose wives are no lon
ger able to support them. In many
cases the wife who was at first able to
support her husband comfortably f.
nally shoulders a church debt, and in
trying to lift that she oyerworks and
impairs her health so that she be-
come an invalid while her husband is
left to pine away in solitude or depen-
dent on the cold charities OF the world.
My heart goes out toward those men
even now, and in case should fill teh
grave of the eccentric millionaire am
sure would do the square thing by
them.
The method by which our wives in
America are knocking the church debt
silly by working up their husbands
groceries into "angel food" and sell
ing them below actual cost, is deserv-
ing Of the attention of our national
| financiers.
The church debt itself is deserving
of notice in this country. 1t certain
ly thrives better under republican
form of government than any other
feature of our boosted civilization.
Western towns spring up everywhere,
and the first anxiety is to name the
place, the second to incur church
debt and establish a roller rink.
After that a general activity in
trade is assured. OF course the gen
eral hostility of church and rink will
prevent ennui and listlessness and the
church debt will encourage a business
boom. Naturally the church debt
cannot be paid without what is gener
ally known through the west as the
"festival and hooraw." This festival
is an open market where ladies trade
the groceries of their husbands tC
other ladies' husbands and everybody
has a perfectly lovely time" The
church clears ~ 80, and thirteen la
dies are sick the next day.
This makes boom for the physi
clans and later on for the undertake.
and general tombist. So it will b.
seen that that the western town il
right in establishing a church debt al
soon as the survey is made and til,
town properly named.
Alter the first church debt has beer
properly started, others will rapid,
follow, so that no anxiety need be fel
if the church will come forward tn
first year and buy more than it cal
pay for.
The church debt is q comparitivel,
modern appliance, and yet it ha
been productive of many peculis
features. For instance, we call t.
mind the clergyman who makes
speciality OF going from place to plac
as II successful debt demolisher. H
is part CT the general system just a
much as the ice-cream freezer or tn
button-hole boquet.
Then there is the row or socia
knock-down-and-drag-out which goe
along with the church debt. All thes
things add to the general interest, an,
to acquire interest in one way or an
other is the mission of the c. d.
l once knew most exemplary VIC
man who became greatly intereste
in the wiping out OF church DEB
!, and who bid finally succeed in wipin
out the debt, but in its last expirin
, death-struggle it gave her wipe fror
which she never recovered. She ha
, succeeded IN begging the cream an
the eggs and the sandwiches and tn
use Of the sugar, and the loan of a
! oyster and the use Of freezer an
fifty button-hole bouquets, to be sol
to men who were not in the habit
wearing bouquets, but she could DO
\ row circular artist to rovolye ii
t crank OF the freezer, SO she agitated
@ herself. Her husband had to go avs
prior to the festivities, but he ordert
n her not to crank the freezer He hi
very little influence with her, howeve
and so to-day he is widower. I'll
: church debt was revived in the follo7
inc wear and now there isn't n mo