Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1885-11-26
SMILES.
Good gracious, said The hen. when
she discovered the porcelain egg in her
nest, ] shall be bricklayer next.


she discovered the porcelain egg in her
nest, j shall be bricklayer next.
Jones has just returned from a va
cation trip to the South shoro When
asked if he saw any Duxbury CLANS,
he said he did not, but he had seen
dogs bury bones.
/ held her tiny hand in mire, and
elasped her fairy form, and told my
tale Of ardent love in language sweet
and warm; and when / paused for
want Of breath, she raised her dim
pied chin and whispered low: i don't
catch on; please sing song again.
Say, said the editors smart little
son, as he entered a store, do you
keep knives2
oh, yes, responded the storekeep-
er, we've kel Il them for years.
We'll, replied the boy, starting for
the door, you ought to advertise, and
then you wouldn't keep them SO long.
Teacher so you can't do a simple
sum in arithmetic. Now, let me ex-
plain It to YOU Suppose eight ofyou
have forty eight apples, thirty-two
peaches, and sixteen melons, what
will each Of you get?',
Cholera morbus 7 replied Johnny
Fjzzle-top, who was addicted to that
malady.
Parkinson was complaining At the
club, the other day, about horrible
bill that no couldn't possibly settle,
and that was keeping him awake o
night.
Don't bother about it, my dear boy,
said Smithkins, do with it as we used
to do with the Mississippi river water
Jet it stand till it settles itself
Poor fellow He lay in a stupor.
The physician had said that he could
not recover. The minister came, and
over The bed remarked You must
prepare for the worst.
The poor follow, whose wife had
been doing the cooking, opened his
eyes, said, why, is dinner readyY
fUncle James, said a Boston young
lady who was spending few days in
the country, is that chicken by the
gate Brahmin2
No, replied Uncle James, he's
a Leghorn.
why certainly, to be snre ] car
see The horns on bis ankles,
Ethel used "a play a great deal il
the Sunday school class One day sht
had been very quiet. She sat VI
prim, aud behaved herself so nicely
that after tie recitation was over thu
teacher remarked Ethel, my dear
you were very good little girl TO
day
'Yes'm. Itouldn't help being lood
/ dot tiff neck ]
Young man (to Boston girD SCI
that contest has been arranged be
tween Ryan and Sullivan TO taxi
place soon.
Boston girl (loyally)-'Yes; and
venture the prognostication that oul
| Mr.. Sullivan will project his opponen
into the ceirfAI PORTION OF tne I0fSn
coming hebdomad in the second cr
conference.
Customer lin a grocery storc)-
You have been established in bus
ness long time, | understand, MI
ShorLweight
Mr. hortweight(w with pride --'YeI
sir; l have sold groceries on this cor
ner for twenty years. /.
Customer (lifting the cover Of th
cheese box, and quickly dropping il
mo longer than thatT
You want servant grip
Yes, colored one.
: Are you particular about having
colored one ?
/. Yes, we've had a death in the fan
lily and we're in mourning.
Bill Arp sagaciously observes Ma
that is born of one woman and tied
another is of few days and full Of tror
t Bile. But it might have been wors
: heap worse; for he might have bee
q born woman and tied to mai
That is the most perilous condition
all nature.
Professor Bell, Of telephone fam
says the. time is coming when peop
will be able to see, as well as hear, {
a long distances. The man who dell
!. erately makes it harder for his fellow
citizens to dodge their creditorsthan
is now, deserves to 60 down TO po
terity unhonored and unsungs
The oldest Mason, the oldest inhal
liant the only surviving Washington
: coachman, the youngest soldier IN ii
o late war the only living woman Wasl
ington ever kissed, and the propri,
tors Of the paper having the largel
circulation in the world think ofholC
: ing congress. if they can End a builc
. ing large enough to accommodate thel
{ all.