The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1885-05-28
Penalties of Civilization.

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What taxes do we pay for being
civilized2 just look at those two
pictures, the one a savage and the
other a civilized man sallying forth
for his days work. The sewage
seizes his bow and arrow and per
haps his tomahawk ond bounces
out of his tent, leaving Mrs. S. to
bring water from the stream and
to skirmish around for dry wood to
build fire wherewith to cook the
squirrel, opossum, rattlesnake or
other vermin he may bring home
for dinner.
Mr.. Nineteen Percentury has
eaten a light breakfast, consisting
of fried fish, omelete aux fine
herbs, beefsteak and wheat cakes,
proceeded by an early glass of self
ger water, and is about to start for
business. First he puts on his arc
tics, then his overcoat, then his
wristlets, then he feels in his peck
ct te see if his watch is there and
compares it with the parlor clock to
ascertain whether they agree; feels
inside his breast pocket to assure
himself that certain documents are
there; feels in his outside breast
pocket to know that his handker-
chief is all right, slaps his panta
looms pocket to satisfy himself that
his wallet has not been left in his
dress trousers he calls his bust
ness garments pantaloOns or pants
and his social ones trousero(; then
he looks inquiringly toword the
ceiling, trying to think whether
there is anything else. Here
Mrs. N. P. comes in, consulting
inquirer.
"Have you got your penknife?"
No, he has not, and he is sure to
want it during the day. tits found
On the table in the next room.
He places it in his right hand vest
pocket.
"Have you got your pencil case
and memorandum book?"
No-hunt-found left hand vest
pocket.
"Cigar case2'
He feels left hand overcOat peck
et. eyes, all right"
"Match caseT'
Feels-yes-examined-empty-
replenishes-left hand pantaloons
pocket.
coffee keys?"
Fesls-yes-all right.
Latch key2"
Feels in pistol pooket~-yes.
"Card caseF'
Searches through six pockets
no-must be in dress waistcoat.
1t is empty-replenishes-left hand
vest pocket.
don't forget those letters you
have to mail"
ooh, no." Letters want stamps
none in the house-never mind
get them at druggists, only he is
always out of them-letter to be
carried in hand.
"Den't go without your paper to
read in the cars"
"Oh, dear, no, where is it?"
Paper found-left hand overcoat
pocket.
Umbrella? 1t might rain"
.'Ughp He doesn't kuow-dubi-
ous-looks out of the window.
"See weather probabilities-news-
paper-safest perhaps to take it.
Umbrella propped up against the
table handy"
''NOw, are you sure you have the
right change for your car fare?"
Feels change pocket-pants
pocket-nO-ten cents borrowed
from his wife-all right now he'll
be off. Buttons up oYercoat, pulls
on gloves, picks up letters and UNI
brella. Goodbye"
ooh! have you got your eye
glasses?"
Umbrella and letters placed on
chair, glasses taken of, coat unbot=
toned-exploration through num-
berless pockets-no-probably in
dress. waistcoat pocket-yes-up-
per left hand pocket-button up,
umbrellas, letters-all right. Good
bye"
ooh! Ninny, dear, you had bet
ter leave me little money before
you go, want to pay Madame
Hazelquiske to-day"
And this is civilization.