davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-09-13
An Aston Palace.
Newport Letter,


IfNewport is a little dull, and has an appear
of solemnity about it, the wealthy people of
the land show no great want of faith in it's flu
ture. We have building now probably the finest
country residence in America. A veritable
palace it is to be. but unfortunately situated as
to be surrounded by a few acres of ground
where it should have nothing less than a park,
and with neither outlook for those that live
within it, nor easy and striking view for
those who see it from without the gates. This
is to be the residence of Mr.. Van Allen, who
married one of the members of the Astor family.
The palace. for it is nothing else. is an exact and
superb copy of one of the English country seats,
and with its expansive surface of gray stone its
numerous gables, oriel windows broad terraces
and abundant carving, finds no equal in simple
ty among the many costly houses in town.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-09-13
ANYTHING BUT "arIsTER."
A Western Plan for Discovering Strangers
Favorite Title.
Denver Tribune.


Why. look at the brass buttons on the streets
all the time You can't tell when you see a man
whom you don't know personally, with blue
clothes and brass buttons, whether he's rail-
road conductor, a Grand Army man or a police
man off duty.
and if militia company turns out for parade
to an inspection or funeral, you'll see the
streets radiant with uniforms for three days
after. And colonels-well I'd like to stand here
and throw stones and get dollar for every
colonel could hit in the next three minutes
I'll bet that I'd not be obliged to work for my
living for the next six months"
How do you account for the numerous
titlesp
We'll, I've looked the thing over pretty
thoroughly. and I've sized up a good many of
the men who are most frequently called by high
sounding titles and I've got plan by which [
can designate every man of title as soon as lay
my eyes on him. Now. mind, there are many
honorable exceptions but if you would like to
know now to tell a man with title, so as to
address him just right, the first thing I'll tell
you to do. And mind it's pretty dangerous
thing to call man by a title below the grade to
which he thinks he belongs"
II really would like to have the recipe"
"All right When you see little insigpif-
cant-lookl ing man take long strides and wearing
plug hat if he's over thirty years you are safe
to address him as captain
IF he ls pretty stout and has plain red
nose, and smells strongly of bad whisky and a
cob pipe, he's major.
IF the man is large framed or only very tall
and has red face and a very red nose with
wart upon the side of it, you will be dead safe in
calling him Colonel
Now, if the man is large, or, as I said before,
only tall and has gray mustache or beard
drinks his whisky straight, and good, big drink
at that; If he has loud voice and red nose
with two warts upon it, he's a General every
time, and don't you ever seem to forget the fact
Judges are little harder to place Any man
who has practiced in Justices court or has
been a justice or a clerk of Justice of the
peace, can with perfect safety be addressed as
Judge"
$50 you think you've got it all down fine, do
you. sir!"
"Well, you just bet your life Colonell"