The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-02-07

cover my temper, and equally, of
course, went for her
l think l frightened her, for she
dropped OUT very quietly, but that
won't make my chairs clean again. l
see nothing for It, but to cover them in
chintz, Just as l had them before, but I
never will bear to look at my lovely
Roman satin covers again.
There are really no bounds to the
stupidity of Mrs. Platitude. l have to
blame my little alarm clock for the
fact that I made acquaintance with
her. 1 wanted to get up very early one
morning, so brought my little alarm
up to my room. In the course of the
day Mrs. Platitude sent in to ask me
would l object to keep my pet rooster
in q back room, as the growing dis
turbed her in the morning.
When Emma Jane brought me the
message, l really thought Ihad a luna
tic for my next door neighbor. l am
fond of pets, but a rooster in my best
bedroom! 1t was too much. l did
not know Mrs. Platitude then, and /
felt quite mortified that any one should
fancy such a thing. l went in and
called, for really wanted to know
what it was all about, and she per-
sisted the rooster had crowed all morn
ing in my front room. got quite
angry, and never thought of my little
alarmer, till Emma Jane suggested it
to me after l went home. Then peace
was made, but that is now twenty
years ago, and Mrs. Platitude has kept
"dropping i'm ever since.
Iaf ~
it is so ill-natured. For my own part
[ never say an unkind word of any
one. pride myself on not being sat
irical and prone to see the faults of 9TH
ers, but Mrs. Platitude says such things.
She told me that poor old Mr.. Heath
erbone died because the young Heath
erbones would not leave him in peace
at home, but dragged him here and
there for change of air, poor old man !
And then in the same breath she told
me how the young Smilers actually
murdered their old father by keeping
him in town, when breath of country
air would have saved his life.
| wonder what she says about me
when am not by. One thing is a COM
fort, she has not brains enough to say
anything clever. 1t will be almost
worth the loss of my chair covers if she
stops dropping in" for little while,
and sending in to borrow my things,
but l am sure she will never pass Mon
day morning without sending in to me
for soap. She has her washing done at
home, but she never can remember to
get in soap, so she borrows it from me.
She borrows everything from me, but
ter, salt, fat-irons, hair-pins, coffee,
mustard, darning cotton, pepper. She
got ashamed of herself once and came
in to me to help her to make list
of things she ought to have in the
house, but the woman can't even spell
She asked me were there two ps il
pepper, and when said eyes, three, ,
she actually put three in a row, like
this pepper.
Not content with borrowing my
things she constantly finds fault witt
the thing she borrows. One day sht
sent in for the loan of my steps to pu
up curtains.
never would have risked them haC
l had the least idea she meant to ge
on them herself. They were a goo(
set of steps, well calculated to supper
an average weight, but they gave wa!
under hers, and two of my steps ant
her collar bone got broken. Oh! how
she tormented me about that cola
bone. Sometimes 1 felt tempted t.
agree with some of the neighbors wht
said it was pity it was not her neck
She took to literature once, ant
wrote series of articles called 9Th
Platitude Papers," by A. Platitude
She meant to make me hear them all
but l got an opportune cold, whicl
made me so deaf that she gave it Ii
in despair, and l have refused to rea
,, them myself till she could get an edito
| to do so first. So l think l am tolel
ably safe.
Since the episode of the chair cover
/ have become desperate, and | think
:. will change my house. 1t is littl
; hard on me. The locality suits me, S
: does the house, so does all and every
! thing except the Platitudes. l don
! want to say anything unkind, but l d
L not think there is one saint in the ca
endar, even Moses himself, who woul
;. have patience to live next door
a them. So, it is not too much to expec
, even of charitable, kindly, good-n;
: tured old girl like
> TABITHA ToMPKINs.
q N. B. Mrs. Platitude has just sci
. . in for the loan of an easy chair. Wei
~ that woman has the impertinence of
well, shan't lend it. The line mu
= be drawn somewhere. T. ToMPKINs.
= P. S.-By heavens, she's coming
y for it herself.-Judge.