The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-09-19
Social Forms.


IS to compel the performance ofsocia
Ialuties that would not be performed
Were 1t not for the authority of tht
scustom. In the course of time tht
appropriate feelings accompany thest
acts and in the form of spontaneou,
motives displace the enforcement O
organized habits. There is much ir
1ormality that is cold, false and de-
sceltful, and "civilized" people ought
10 De above it. On the other hand
.spontaneousness in conduct, when 4
good result is intended, is what il
I3retends to be, and promotes friend
Iy feelings and associations, 1t may
pe well that some people are formal
| Itey would be nothing if not cerem0.
IyBns. 1t would be better, however,
{ Mere quick to act without the
'lonpulsion of custom, obedient to
the promptings of many social feel
ing3, No doubt many people,
Though the inertia of habit, are fol-
loving lines of custom, while their
nataes are fully competent to in
dulgt in independent spontaneity.
An Illustration of one struggling for
EMANCIPATION came to hand not long
ago. The writer had been entertain
ed for te first time at the house of a
certain lospitabIe Old gentleman and
both WEB sitting with half an hour
to wait fq the arrival of the carriage
in which the host proposed to take
the guest % the railway station, when
the formel said: 81 want to have
you be SUE to come and see me again
and if yol don't have any business
calls this way come without them"
He then added, apOlogeticaIly: 81
suppose | ought to have said this
when bidding you goodbye at the
station, but.I like to say things when
| think OF them" There was a
charming mturalness in the old gen
tleman's Invitation, and whole
sOuled hospitality that were not to be
misunderstood. They would have
been almost totally lost if the invita-
ton had teen reserved for the last
act of formlity, as many are in the
habit of dting. One may be justified
in taking very little stock in "come
and see me again" when accompani-
ed with a good bye" Though
suitable feeling may stand behind
the invitation in such case, yet it is
not to be compared to the certainty
tAat exists in the less formal mode.
If one is staying at friends house
for a portion of the day and is about
to leave just before meal time, he
must not think Of accepting an invi-
tation to remain for the meal when
it is made at the time of departure,
the guest, perhaps, with hat and cane
in hand. The host could not say in
palmer language: "Stay and dine
with me; | do not expect that you
will and rather hope that you will
not, though you have a license to
force yourself upon me-" Yet how
many people there are who issue
their Invitations in just this formal
way, as if to get the credit for hos
pitality without comforting it upon
anyone.
All admire a frank, natural person.
who has no offensive traits, and it is
to such persons that we most freely
give our confidence. The foundation
of social integration is the trust that
people have in each other; it is for
this reason that a lie is wrong. A
falsehood is a social Offense, because
1t tends to weaken the ties that hold
society together. Hence formality
may be wrong, for it may tread upon
the borders of deception when prac-
ticed hy people who haYe feelings
well enough developed to enable
them to do without it.
People of this description are "glad
to see yOu' long before leaving their
house, or they will not say that they
are glad at all they invite you to re-
main to dinner or to supper before
you have gone so far in preparing for
departure that it would be awk ward
to turn back they don't wait until
they haYe to shout to you as you ride
off to say, "come again ;" nor will it
be a mere "come again." either, but
a hearty request to repeat the visit,
or the invitation will hardly be made.
So it will be found by those who
have the feeling to prompt them to
commendable social acts, that form
ality and ceremony dwarf their i'm
port, while the natural conduct Gre
ates a stronger fellowship, a new
sympathy and unmistakable attitude
of regard.
Headaches and biliousness are
ii i,, o,,u,l I,, tbo ,ua Of 4 UarI.