davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31

The Rochester Union (Dem. ex-
presses its view of civil service re-
form in these candid terms:
brought to practical test, how
ever, the civil service law is found
to be a failure. Even where it is
fairly and honestly enforced it fur
nishes no better public servants
than were had before, while in most
cases, as in this city, it is used as a
cover for more favoritism and
meaner partisanship and jobbery in
appointments than formerly ex-
listed"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31

The Republican p ostmaster at
Peoria, ILL.,, ranked high as an Off
cial, and had several years to serve,
but he was removed as an Offensive
PARTISAN" to make room for a man
who was dismissed from the service
during the war, and who was In
dicted for whisky frauds, but es-
capped by pleading the statue of
limitations.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31
CONSUMPTION CURED.

IN old physician, retired from prac-
tice, having had placed in his hands
by an East India missionary the form
ula of a simple vegetable remedy for
the speedy and permanent cure of Con.
sumption, Bronchitis, Catarrh, Asth-
ma and all throat and Lung Affections
also q positive and radical cure for
Nervous Debility and all Nervous
Complaints, after having tested its
wonderful curative powers in thous-
ands of cases, has felt it his duty to
make it known to his suffering fellows.
Actuated by this motive and desire
to relieve human suffering, | will send
free of charge, to all who desire it, this
recipe, in German, French or English,
with full directions for preparing and
using Sent by mail by addressing
with stamp, naming this paper, w. A..
MOVES, 149 PoUerS Block, R0atexter, ". Y.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31
Island Pond
M. III. DAVIS,

is in good cheer, catering to the wants
of his friends and patrons. lie has
just received large addition to his
clothing department, and is now ready
to compare quality and prices with
any clothing house in the U. S. AS
these goods were bought at their low
est cash value, they will be sold low
for cash.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31
THE GRAND ARMY

has returned after very pleasant visit
to the seaside, and everything looks
pleasant about us excepting a few old
Fogies, who always wear n frewn,
even when the general community is
good cheer. Yes Fogies, l can read it in
your faces, and could tell your names,
but this will strike you square. You
had better mend your ways, for you
have but little time to stay here.
Therefore do try and look pleasant,
and don't be mean enough to try to
ruin ones family and cause them to
suffer in order to crafty your wilful
disposition.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31
5000 ACRES
land for Sale !
lnWestmore, Orleans Co., VT.

The larger part of the timber has been
taken from about 5000 acres. One thousand
acres of good timber land Soil is excellent,
and will make good farms. will be sold in
quantities to suit customers. Price 50 per
acre and upwards Part of the purchase
money can remain on mortgage. Apply in
person or by letter to Q. WARREN, Supt.,
1885 West burke VT
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31

JITINT more money than at anything else
M M by taking an agency for the best
NM N selling book out. Beginners sue
III Ili coed gFandly. None fail. Terms
free. HALL EFT BOOK CO., POI tland Mo.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31

But enough Of sermonizing, and now
to business. First will speak of the
old
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31
Jhe Gasfs County 9srala.
a7rx-szzzuzEzx<zzszzH

UNCONDITIONAL SORRENDER.'
General Grant has at length sue
,cumbed to the demand which he
claimed from his country's foes, aud
made an unconditional surrender to
death, the final conqueror of all, and
today the country, aye, the world
displays the sombre emblems of sor-
row, while innumerable tongues and
pens are paying tribute to the de-
parted hero. No violent expressions
and outpourings of grief mark the
decease of the man who has borne
so bravely the pains of an unusually
distressing disease; the feeling is of
that deep, quiet, sympathetic ma
ture which speaks louder than the
passing, clamorous expressions that
mark the departure of some person
who leaves nothing of special note
to record the fact of his having
lived.
AS we look back through the ca
reer of General Grant, we see the
possibilities open to the young man
of sterling worth in this country,
and which are open to those of no
other nation. We see him gradually
opening, developing, like a flower,
until in the hour Of her need his
country turns to him to save her
from ruin and devastation, and
weighed in the balance he is not
found wanting. Other men had
more dashing, outward appearances,
but the Silent Commander was the
man to step into the breach and
bring the issue to a successful close
and himself to the highest military
pinnacle.
The sturdy, deep, consistent ma
ture of the man was such that bereft
in a dire moment of her beloved
Nnlcf Magistrate and plunged into
fear and uncertainty ny hio loyal
successor, the United States saw nc
other man to place at the Ship OF
State, and for eight years, assailed
by enemies of every kind, he guided
her course in such a manner that at
the end of his term of public SER
vice he came back into the ranks OF
private citizens recognized by the
world as bearing a civil record equal
TO his military glory.
As man of business Grant wa;
nndeniably not success. His
character was such as to unfit him
for contact with the sharperS among
whom he fell, and he came out OF
his conflict with them with nothing
save" that strange spell-a name
We can think Of no more fitting
ending for brief sketch of such 8
man as Ulysses S. Grant than the
lines IN which England's Laureate
sings the dirge of England's great
est captain:
Mourn for the man of amplest influence
Yet clcarest of ambitious crime,
Our greatest yet with least pretence,
Great in council and great in war,
Foremost captain of his time;
Rich in saving common-sense,
And, as the greatest only are,
in his simplicity sublime.
u good gray head which all men knew,
. voice from which their omens all meT
drew,
o iron nerVeto true occasion true,
% tallen at length that tower of strength
Which stood four-squale to all the winds tina
blGwl
Y
He is gone who seemed so great
Gone; but nothing can bereave him
Of the force he made his own
Being here, and we believe him
Something far advanced in state,
And that he wears truer crown
Than any wreath that man can weave him
Speak no more of his renown,
Lay your earthly fancie5 down,
And i'll the vast cathedral leave him.
God accept, Christ receive him.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31

public man while he lives is better
than persistent abuse then and os-
tentaticus mourning at his DEATH
Springfield Union.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31
Beer Saloon

where the awful beer was put into
bottles, and
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-08-31

He is gone who seemed so great
Gone; but nothing can bereave him
Of the force he made his own
Being here, and we believe him
Something far advanced in state,
And that he wears q tlIer crown
Than any wreath that man can weave him
Speak no more of his renown,
Lay your earthly fancieS down,
And i'll the vast cathedral leave him.
God accept, Christ receive him.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17

"Ies, might. but haven't time now. I've got to go to A dinner day after to. morrow and must go up stairs pretty soon and hurry myself into my clothes. ]"
 Lilas and Mrs. Sapham withdraw. They could not look at each other, their hearts were so heavy, LtlaS whipped up the mare. They passed the place where their new house was being constructed. They sighed as they passed Llas stol ped the horse and groaned.
 What's the matter, Ldas 2'
 |" left my shoe in the minister $ house"
 Mrs. Sapham burst into tears. l.ilas bit his lip and groaned again.
 What are you going to do about 1t p'
 !" mus, wait until the minister dresses himself and then will go and get Il"
 LilaS stood a, the back end oi the wagon, gaiiug far down the street The horse gave sudden start Something struck the ground. Mrs Slpham, quickly looking around uttered piercing shrick. l-ilas Saph am had fallen
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
A FR AUD.

Why, hello Busby Whats the mat. ,erf You don't seem to be getting aioss very well"
 No, am pretty we'll done up."
 What's the m alter 2''
 "Well, you know l was keeping a rall~ road eating house,
 "Yes. and thought you were making money"
 "l was. but they have taken the privl- leEe away rom me
 Why did they do that ?"
 Well, you sec. they appointed an eas- ing house inspector some tune ago. Hts duty Is to so over shc line, like desec. tive. eat al all the places and report the poor ones. The eating. house keepers had no means of knowing when the inspector ~as coming or of identifying him when he did arrive. Well, week or so ago, shortly after train loai of people had sal dow. ,o my tables, heard one man, speaking in an undeuone, ask hts com panton Hos do you like your position as eat,ns.house inspector Ina, was enough for me. 1 approached the two gentlemen and asked them to sii over at another table, They did so aud fed them on the fat Of the land. gave them vine gave them the best oi everything. Well, the next day my bill oi fare was very naturally cut down. For time could afford to let tho guests take their chances Oae day, during the dfou.h, an old fellow camc along He turned up hs nose al everything Finally 1 told hin tha, f he didat Ike my hoa se hs could get out He wen. out and tho con- ductoF came to me and sa!d intended 10 tell you Iha, the old fellow who juss went ouI is the eating house inspector, bu, forgot It.
 "' You must be mistaken. The eating house inspector passed here several days ago ; believe you were ae,s al ias s;ns.'
 "' Whom do you meanf One oi those fellows that sat over lhers r pointing to a small table. Those ielio~s that ordered Ao much wine
 "'Yca Wasn't one oi them an inapec. tor2
 We'll, Eo. They keep A Tawhids house about 6iy miles from here
 | rushed out ahet the genuine inspec- tor found hun eating luaeh w,th an immigrant. asked him fl he would not come m and get something. He rsplied that |, ~ouId he easy enough to go ia, but believed that getting something to eat ~as impossible. i told him that 1t would afford me great pleasure .o give him the bcst meal he ever saw, but he took up fat piece of the immigrants pork. bi ou, pc / and replied No, believe not. ] never could stand fasiing.'
 Well. that settled me. The pent day 1 received notification to vacate the house. 1 bate to be imposed on, and think that the eating house inspecting system is A rank and poisonous fraud"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
kain git erlanng wid yer
GETTING MIX SD

!" Bruder Sie,iasou," sad PArson Grubbs. " ioan want yer ter take sack rement in my church no mo"
 Why so, sah =
 Wall, de folks doAn like yer slylc."
 doAn~hn'erstan yer"
 " Wall, Il tell y~ Tuther day when yer come Ter de 'muuIon table yer acted like yer wux star bed ter del. Yer grabbed de bread an when da handed yer de wine yer drunk n all U
 !" Cose 1 did De brudcr said Drink ye all O it, and 1 tlted her up an let her slide"
 " DAs want DO way ter do.
 |" Wall, den. yer ken count me out. 1 doan un erstan' dcae heah folks whut tells yeF Ier do CT thing ab' den make CT mouf ef yer does 1t. Yas. jes' mark my name offen dem books O yourn. 'Ligun is git. tin so mixed up CT pusson kain' oner. stan it."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
WARTS 4 WIFE.

TD tss Editor Df THE AaKAssAw ThayELgH.
 Wanted ~lle. am 10, very particular as 10 her Iooks, but ~ant her 10 be between ths age of ib and 1p would prefer though, that she be Of the kIoade tJDE. 1 am good looking. and Of course, would prefer good looking giri. Please write io pr and n. wiii eschAnTs pictures. kDEgEf SANa.
 Please print this. LadoRi4, TexAs.
 Here is A ch .nce for some handsome girl with capital. Just think of II: 4 good looking young man, willing to sacrifice himself. What noble young man he must be. Ho~ deeply he mus, oe interested in the welfare of wom an. He fails to name the busness in which he is engaged. Perhaps he is cowboy. Oh, delightful, for in tha. event he is dou ubtIess past the age of cali love.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17

know dat dar wuz so many folks in de worf. lam an crowd crowd an' jam, rony'd holler an den Tlldy'd holler, den wife she would so ,ter squall. Heah come de 'cession, headed by CT lot O police men on horses. crowded close down ter de car track case wanted my folks ter see all. De policemen come in CT broad bre'st. tried ter step back but de crowd berhine wuz CT pushin' so dat eouidn', an de blame policeman hit me ober de head wid CT sword. hope ter mee, dat man some day. When turned roun', foun' dat Tlljy wuz gone. gunter scrouge CT roun' ter fine her an finally grabbed her. When l got back ter whar wife wuz, Toney wuz gone. scrouged out ter fl le him an had CT h ard time, too, but foun' him, but when got back, wife wuz gone. Den de chil- lun set up CT howl an de folks gun,er laugh. looked ebcrywhar fur wite an e good luck would hab it 1 foun' her. As we wuz gwine long back ter de hotel, says ter wife: It's CT mighty fine thing dat we SC got our room an l pities all desc heah folks dat kain' fine commercial ton Wall, when we got back axed de fat nigger fur de key O my room.
 - Dat rooms occupied, says ze.
 "tDe debil yer says. Ddn rent it ?
 - Fur one day, only
 Whut yer s'pozen wanted wid CT room in de day time? wanted il al night. Gimme CT nuder room, den'
 "' Ain got no mo-
 Dat wuz morn coul stan, SO snatched off my coat an gunter mix wid him
 " Did you whip him, Uacle Miit ?p
 " Did who whup him Z"
 "Did you whip him P
 "Whuo who z
 "The hotel man..
 Old Milt slowly arose looked up and down the street, shrugged his shoulders and said: No, didn' whup him. He coul' ou, fight any fat scoua'rel eber seed. He satisfied me an we come home on de naixt train"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
IT RUINED HIM.

Gentlemen" sad d man, apptoachi ng q party of men, will you please give me a little assistance 7"
 You arc able to work some one re- piled
 " Perhaps, but not at my profession "What is your profcssion2'
 "l used to be fire fiend in mu,eum. l" "Did you lose your place"
 |" was compelled to quit"
 Why so!
 My stomach was burnt out"
 Swallow some ho, lead !'
 "Oh, I've swallowed hot lead many a time and suffered no inconvenience"
 Then how did you burn your stomach Did you swallow burning oil 7"
 "Oh, I've drunk burning oil, but tha, makes no difference. can drink burn ing oil at lunch time"
 What was it that ruined you 2"
 We'll, I'll tell you: was performing in museum and was preparing to swal- low ladle full of melted zinc, when an enemy of mine changed the ladle while was not looking. Turned up the ladle and drank the stuff he had put in it. knew then that was gone"
 |" What had he pu. in the ladle /"
 St Louis whisky"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
A SUSPICIOUS WELL.

Colonel Gaines dismounted from hiA horse, approached ! we'll drew bucket of water, took dtink, and then tutntng 4 to negro man who had just come up, said
 There seem, to he something wrong with th,a well "
 "Yes, sah, II doan peer ter me like il taste q good CT il uaict."
 "Do you Use this water 1' SO bad dat ,luIsi ter make dc ~lmmln folks totch de wafer itum de yudder aide O da hill. kl 1 had seed yer sooner l would CT toIe yer da, dar wus suthin 'spicious bout dis hcah we'll SC sorry. too, fur hates ter sec dc wlmmln folks tote de water SO far" --f7'
 "WhAt do you supp,ss makes this water SO bad
 Wall, sah, las thought dA, it's de dead haug dat's Tn de bottom O dc well !"
 You old Acoundrel '" exclaimed .h- colonel AS he turned a~,y from the well and gagged, why dldn', you tell me r.
 Did tell yer, boss
 "Why dido't yeu tell m. before | drank
 Wy |, didn' consarn yer den, boss. Whui makes dc white gennernen so on. rcasonablcf Sometimes 1 thinks dat |
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
LOST FLESH.

Do you see that lean man.
 Who, that living skeleton !'
 "Yes."
 He travels with museum, doesn | he?"
 No. When be lief, Little K 7ck yes- terday he was almost as Lt as Daniel Lambert in his heavi-s. days"
 You don't tell me How did he lose his flesh ?'
 He ate dinner al Arcadia on the Ss. Louis 6, Iron Mountain road.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
WANTED TO MAUI HIM.

Two men riding on a railroad train. One of them buys book and after read ing ii awhile, throws it do~n, turns to his chance companion and says
 This is the dullest book 1 ever saw. It is fraud. I'd like to m aui the au thor. What are you taking of your coat for T'
 "i am the author"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
AN ARTLESS CHILD.

Town woman to honest farmer" Are you sure these chickens are fresh p
 Honest farmer" yes, mum; Killed 'em this morning."
 Artiess farmer boy-"You didn't kill this old hen, pap, for she died while we was eatin' supper"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17


 drivers have struck and vice-president has taken up temporary residence in the city. The strike was bad enough.
 Mir. Beecher has eliminated hell from his vocabulary and now uses sheol. For ordinary preaching sheol will do very well, but when you come down to the Sam Jones knock down and drag ou. gospel, he'll is indispensable.
 Several days ago, at Augusta, Ark , another abused gentleman stood on a platform and gave good advice to the people. He told them to vote whisky down, made few remarks with regard to the church and then died suddenly, though not unexpectedly. A physician who happened to be present said that the orators neck was somewhat affected, sufficiently, he thought to cause death.
 Miss Cleveland IS writing novel Sae will doubtless find that il is somewhat more difficult to create something than it is to speak of something already created. Miss Clev eland, with deft touch, ties piece of new ribbon around an old proverb, but it is ike putting a gaily feathered hat on gray head. Dullness istolerated in a book Of essays, and in fact ,dullness often lends an air of deep wisdom, but novel readers lock for thrill, for character for entertainment for brightness. Miss Cleveland may possess sufficient imaginative power 10 accom- plish this, but there is evidence against her. Imagination" will find expression. It does not wait until the bloom of lite is faded it does not wait until its brother is elected president.
 An old fellow who lives near Buck Snort, Ark, recently sent the folio wing letter to the president
 reckon you'll be sorter surprised to hear from me, specially as we have never had the pleasure O meetin' each other Ivoted for you an thurfo' think that it is my duty as ole sitizen uv this place an the owner uv suatchin' team uv as good mules as you ever seed, to give you little advice. want you to turn them fetch-taked raskils out. They've had their fore feet in the troff long enough. It ain't often that send advice away from home an you ougater feel proud uv 1t. My father uster advise old Andy Jackson, he did. But givin' advice ain't all that causes me to write. want pardon fur makin wildcat whisky l ain't made none yit, but wish you would write me out one an send her down. Then ef do make the whisky an git kotch up with, can haul cut the docky- ment an make the deputy marshals open the'r eyes. Inever like to be rash about anything. always like to be pre- par'd before commence to cut an slash. Ain't that right, hah5 Ain't it right Lemme tell you what's a fack. When we git all the rasxils turned out we'll sail like a hawk, hah? Won't we? We'll, we will. Elf ever you come to my neigh borhood drap in an see me. Don't fer- git the pardon"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
HADN'T ANYTHING.

An awkw ward, Ill favored boy, while on an AIkansaw railway train approached a man and said
 Mister. won't you please help me along t'
 "You arc going along fast enough. n you arc in harry why don't yoa get out an d walk"
 :" mean, won't you give me fifty cents"
 "Whai for {"
 have fits and "
 "Greas C.e szr, do they have to pay . teliow to have fits m this country7 Up where came from people dou't have to pay for 6is.
 |" am not able to work k-~"
 We'll, doat do 1t. don. care II you never work any. am not 50 very load of work myself"
 "AIl want i, money enough to pay my fare to Jenkinville."
 "Whst do you want 70 go there fnS" My brother hycs there"
 We'll, what have you go. against him z"
 "i want to live with him. Won't you please give me money enough to-" Have fits, you say ?"
 "Yex, sir.' "Well. you are better off than l am. haven't even got fits. l haven't any, thing. Go on of some where and amuss yourself.n
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17
PRINTERS INK.

The Denver Obinioa is the only liter ary paper in Colorado, but it is one oi the best in the United States.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17

The magazines have come out with the startling information that General Grant is not likely to live.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-10-17

THE FALL OF LILAs sApAAM

THE FALL OF LILAS SAPHAM. Translated from the English of W. T. .Howls
 Lilas and Mrs. Sapham rode along in a spring wagon. Lilas was proud of his mare and liked to pass everything on the road.
 " Lilas," said Mrs. Slpham when do you think the new house will be done r"
 "l don, know. Are you in a hurry to ge, into it2'
 "oa, no, Llas, but you know-"
 "know what2 2'
 Know the girls will enjoy ,hemse Ives better there"
 Why so2 Don't they get enough to eat in the old house z"
 "Yes, but you know how anxious they are to get up in the world"
 "l notice that they an'l anxious to get up at morning"
 Mrs. Sapham was hurt. Sae locke far over the bay and snetz, ,d. Lilas blt his lip and touched up the mare. A woman crossed the street
 I-ilas," said Mrs. S1pham, "who is that woman? 7"
 - don't know"
 ''fes, you do
 q 1 don't"
 "Do."
 Don't"
 "Do."
 "Don't"
 l. Isn't she the woman that thumps the type writer in your oii e r.
 tNo."
 "She is"
 She ain't"
 Who is she, then r
 Don kno~."
 "Do."
 Don't
 They rode along in silence. A dark cloud settled upon Mrs. Saphams face and a look of trouble crept into her eyes
 "Lilas."
 "Yep7
 Do you know what's wha; F'
 "l think do"
 ifio you don't. TThr truth is, both our daughters are in love with young Crospy."
 You don't tell mo sol
 That's what done"
 What are we going to do about il [" Let us go and ask the preacher we met the other night at the ShIn-dig."
 |" Now you're shoutin' We'll go."
 They stopped al the minister's house and tmidly rang the bell. They were shown into neat parlor. A brorz. ele- phant leaned sgains. the mantle piece and the hoof of an Arabian horse la Y upon the cen,er.table. The minister ap- peared.
 Lilas." said Mrs Sapham, siyiy piu ck- ing her husbands sleeve" don't do that !" "Do what2 2''
 Blow your nose on that horse. e.hoof." The minister had noticed i, bu, he was too weak and well-bred to kick Lilas out of the house.
 We'll" said the minister, wh at can do for yo1S"
 Mrs. SApham burst into :ears, and Li- las in his i'll bred embarrassment took of one of his shoes and threw it at a pani colored Cat The min ster noticed il but did not take him by the ear.
 "We have come to you for advice" said Mrs. Sapham.
 "All right replied the minister, "l am looking at you.'
 Mrs. Sapham sobb.d and continued We have two daughters and both of them are in love with the same"
 Cabot" suggested S.pham.
 The minister put on h,s spectacles. and with learned mphasis, said: "Ah." Lilas agreed ,ha, il vas "ah.' "What do you aduse r' asked Mrs. Sapham. "l would advise the young man to visit St Louis during the Yelled Prophets tirAde and sleep in the corridor Of a hotel" What good would that do." "It would ruin him Financially and perhaps kill him. Then your dAug h,ers could love some other m an." Mrs. S.phan reflected deeply. She knew that the minister had carefully | weighed his words.
 "Can you think of nothing e!se5' sh asked.