The National tribune., 1885-01-01
Substantially eyerv one of these was a Presi-

j. Thomas Jefferson 1S00-1S04
= James Aadlsoh 1oOS-1eI2
B. James Monroe ISl6-IS20
& John Quincy yAdans-........................1 1924
g. Martin Van Buren-...-~............-.......1 1886
B. James BueilaHan...... 1896
This is certainly not encouraging for those
who would use the Cabinet as a stepping-stone
for the Presidency. They see before them the
ghosts OF such awful disappointments as met
the ambition of Henry Clay, Daniel Webster,
John C. Calhoun, Lewis Cass, Alexander Ham,
ilton, Thomas Ewing, w. III. Crawford, S. p.
Chase, b. II. Bristow, John Sherman, John
Bell, Jefferson Davis, and w. Q. Gresham, who
thought they could step from Department
building into the White House.
JUST TOO SMART FOR ANYTHING.
Some people are just too smart for anything
except killing. 1t is now gravely announced
that the Democratic Members of Congress have
after much anxious thought, "matured plan
by which President Cleveland will be spared
the overwhelming crush of ofice-seekers." $50
there is to be an overwhelming crush of Office
seekers after all.) "They will put themselves
between the greedy applicant and the Execu-
tive" Here IS the rest of this notable plan
The Democratic Senators and Representatives
from a certain State agree upon plan for the
disposal Of the offices. Each Representative is
to control certain Offices of his District and cer-
tain patronage is apportioned TO the Senators.
An applicant is referred to the ". c., who is to
govern the patronage he is seeking, and is ad-
vised that he must have the Endorsement and
approval OF that Congressman. BY this means
each member has to shoulder only his proper
portion of the burden, and when he determines
whom he viii support for different positions,
other applicants can be advised of the futility
OF efforts in that direction. In this way there
Is general disposition to reduce the number
of applications that will go to President Cleve-
land"
Did anybody ever hear of so generous and self
sacrificing men as these same Congressmen
They are only equaled by that noble-hearted
little boy who was afraid that the candy would
make his baby-brother sick. So he ate it all
himself! II viii be better than Christmas
pantomime to see the proposer of this plan to
President Cleveland sat down upon with
sickening thud
THE DIFFICULTY WITH GEN. HAZEN.
Gen. Hazen is perpetually in a broil with
come one, and this trait of the head of the
Weather Bureau being under discussion by a
group of prominent gentlemen gathered in a
hotel, one of them-an Army officer of high
Tank-said:
heard Gen. Sherman say once that you
can no more doubt Gen. Hazen's bravery or his
honesty than you can your own, and believe
that's SO. He has the same trouble that Polly
had" he continued. "a very accomplished
poll parrot used to hang from first floor win
dow, and an extended broomstick afforded a
when everything was quiet Polly saw dog
walking lesurely along. She was an accom-
plished bird, and had good memory, and hav-
ing heard her master often talking 20 his dog,
she cried out: Sic EN- The dog started and
looked in every direction. Seeing only the
parrot he thought she was meant and broke
for her. There was a regular monkey and
parrot time Polly thought her last hour had
come, but her memory did not fail her, and in
the scrimmage she cried out: Get out,
you The ruse was successful, but when Polly
regained her perch she was in a deplorable
condition. Nearly all her pretty feathers were
out in the gutter, one leg was lame, her flesh
was torn and bleeding, and one eye was closed.
Surveying her sad plight she soliloquized
ruefully: Polly, you talk too much.' That's
the main trouble over at the Signal Office"
WASHINGTON As POET.
No lapse of time seems to be sufficient to
make mans reputation wholly safe. George
Washington has been dead now-if we remem-
Der rightly the date given US by the last sur
viyYhg ody-seryant-passingf four score years.
and in those eight decades there has come
from his tomb no whisper of anything affect
ing his sound intellectually but the near ap-
proach of the dedication of his monument has
developed the fact that a man has in his pos
session an alleged poem written by the Father
of his Country, and, what is worse, it is in
hexameter verse. 1t is called An Ode to
fane, aud the gentleman who says he has it
in his possession wants TO read il at the dedi-
cation Of the monument, or have it I" read By
some elocutionist Of national fame" This in
timation has only recently burst on perspir-
ing public and there has not yet been sufficient
time to initiate a movement TO ascertain the
truth of the case, and, if necessary, throttle
the man who would inhict such blow on the
hitherto stainless escutcheon of George Wash
lngton.
GUS FOR THE PRESIDENT.
Mr. Arthur received a unique holiday gift
from Victor Bogy, of Liege, Belgium The
present is a gun, though why pipe of peace
was not chosen, rather, no one knows United
with a carved section of the stock, cut in mi
mute diamond pattern, is an admirablessiesign
ofinlaid work in gold. The decorations of the
opposite sides represent different scenes of the
chase, with stays and dogs, encircled by deli
cate floral bordering adapted to the form of the
plate. On the lock is a harmonious design.
with little leaves and stems like straying hairs
OF gold The double barrel is in Damascene
work Of the most curious sort, repeating the
name Chester A. Arthur innumerable times
through the scriptlike design. The name which
Is thus wrought obliquely on the piece is not
distinguishable except by close inspection.