St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-03-19
Burdette's Cow Problem.
Mathematical stock-Raising.

Mathematical Stock Raising.
On the oath of January there was
handed to the editor the following
question:
A man has COW, which has her first
calf at the age of 3, and one each year
till she is 81. Her offspring are all
heifers and equally as productive. How
many head of cattle will the man have
at the end of twenty-One years
1t came in letter from Connecticut,
mark you, from Connecticut; no other
state conld have produced suck mon
strOsity. 1t did't look like msustros-
ity, though, at first. Ii looked as harm
less and peaceful as new-b born babe.
In fact it looked easy, and the editor
thought he wouldn't PROFOUND it To the
people, but quietly give the answer at
once. So he sat down and consumed
half the valuable afternoon in answer
ing that easy problem. Only he didn't
answer it. 1t wouldn't answer. The
more he worked the madden he got,
and at last he gave it up in despair.
That childlike and bland cow prob
lem appeared January &c.
The answers began to come in the
next day. At first it was raue fun read
ing them. Then it got little monOt
onOus. Then the pigeon-holes began
to get filed up. That cow began to
be dreary. The editor read letters
about that COW all day, and dreamed
of her all night. Life became sym
phony of mathematical cOws-or rath-
er a dirge of algebraical calves.
1t became a matter of life or death to
answer that problem. First he tackled
his brother editors. The man who
slingeth and archeth gave one glance
at the problem and gently murmured,
81 don't think | heif-er faculty for
mathematics" This staggered the
cOnundrum editor so that he didn't
dare approach another man in the Of
fee. He took the puzzle home and
mercilessly set his family at work upon
it. The next night tears and reprOaches
met him. Every scrap of note paper
in the house had been used up, and
columns of figures covered even the
walls
The editor waxed fierce, and once
more attacked the problem himself
He first tried to prove that no COW ever
lived twenty years. Vain hope! Then
he argued that no such COW ever lived,
and by priOri reasoning he succeeded
in convincing himself that no sane
farmer would let such IL disgracefully
prolific COW live. But still that "sup-
pose" stared him in the face. Then he
manfully set all bubbles aside and be-
gan to wrestle. He wrestled as did
Jacob with the angel-all night. Vic
tory was his reward, and to-day he
triumphantly declares that at the end
of 81 years that farmer had 1873 head
of cattle.
The various answers sent in vary.
In fact they differ. They range all the
way from GA up to Il,046. The man
who said it was sixty four sent postal
later saying he had forgot the old COW.
That merely shows the intense interest
the old COW has excited. FL Mahdi is
nowhere beside that COW. O'DOnOvan
ROssa and Mrs. Don't try-to- pro-
nOunce-it Dudley are side issues com
pared to the issue of that COW. The
popular feeling is we'll expressed in
the brief comment attached to the big
gest answer. "Kill that COW man, he
spoiled my sleep" 1t is even whis-
pered by the elect that chosen band
of dynamiters started for Connecticut
yesterday. The cOnundrum editor has
subscribed literally toward paying
their expenses. And he says he will
shoot on the spot any man who ever
says anything to him about a cow
again.