Huntsville gazette., 1885-05-30
VERY EMBARRASSING.
The Most Awkward Moment
Ever Knew.

.'You must have been in some pretty
tight places at different times, Roger.
We know what you got the cross for,
but l suppose that the chances were
often very nearly as heavy against
you.'
The man who made this remark was
seated opposite his friend before the
cheerful fire in the smoking-room of a
military club. Both had the bronzed
faces and prematurely grizzled hair
which betoken long sojourns under al
most tropical skies. The one who had
been addressed as ''Roger" was slight
ly the elder. and upon his broad chest
bore the tiny scrap of blue ribbon that
indicated that the wearer had won that
most priced of English decoration, the
Victoria Cross He did not reply for
a minute or two to his companion 5
words. Apparently they had called
up many "reminiscences, few of which
were agreeable. but at last smile
lighted up his features, and he said:
'.Yes old boy; I've often thought my
life wasn't going to last minute lon
ger; but the most awkward moment |
ever put in wasn't in the tield.''
mo? Then l presume it was when
you were besieged in the Residency
during the mutiny?"
lit wasn't in action at all. 1t was
on board ship"
"Wreck?"
mo. That is to say, the ship wasn't
wrecked, but thought I was''
Tell me about it.
''Well, don't mind. It's twenty
years ago, and the telling can't hurt
any one now. Still, you will under
stand that the names shall give you
are not the true ones, and you must
promise not to try and find out who
those were
"All right. I'll be content with the
story"
Here goes. then," said Roger, set
ting himself back in his chair. ''It
occurred just after we'd finished up the
last of those black devils. | had pretty
nearly got over the wounds | had re-
ceived in the affair for which the Queen
gave me the cross, and [ reported my
self as fit for duty. The Colonel, how
ever, bless his old heart! wouldn' t hear
OF it, and insisted on my taking a
years leave. There was no canal in
those days, and the pleasantest way of
going home then-and | don't know
that it isn't now-was by one of the
fine clipper ships around the Cape.
was fortunate enough to get cabin to
myself on board the Winchester. of
Greene's line. The purser, Watson,
L had met at some mess dinners in Cal
cutta, and he promised to make things
as pleasant as possible. We had very
lew passengers, mostly invalided Off
GERS, two or three civilians and four
ladies. saw three of the ladies on
deck when we sailed, and none of them
impressed me as being specially charm
ing. The Captain, whose name was,
we'll say John Smith, looked like one
of the regular navy. He wore a uni
form and sword, and was very severe
of aspect and stiff in bearing. I found
out afterward that he was regular
martinez, and the half-dozen midship-
men and the minor officers stood in
considerable awe of him. On my be-
ing introduced, he favored me with q
formal grasp of the hand, and jerked
out a few words about having heard Of
me before.
1--WE did not begin to drop down the
river till the day was fairly advanced,
and had scarcely got my traps in or
der when it was time to dress for din
ner. In those days the Captain would
have been insulted if his passengers did
not turn out in full evening toggerv.
We soldiers were seated at able in ac-
cordance with our rank, and as I had
only just got my company, was pretty
well down toward the foot, or.purser' S
end. This I did not at first feel in.
cliped to regret, as the prospect ap-
peared that we should be little more
free and easy than were the fogies up
at the top. But when had got fairly
settled into my place, looked toward
the Captain, and Immediately began to
deplore my insignifcance. Seated ON his
right was thesprettiest girl l had ever
seen. Her eyes were-well, it's no use
my giving you an auctioneer's cata-
logue of her charms. You Just picture
your ideal, and she would come very
near it. All l know was that / was
completely knocked over. l am sure
my neighbors must have thought I was
either surly or stupid, for never ad-
dressed them, and was scarcely con-
scious what replies / made to their re-
marks. All my attention was given to
silent watching Of my divinity, and I
frantically euYied the Captain and q