Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1885-05-09
THE DIME OR THE DRINK.
startling Results of n Cha'ha'n
street Bartender's Little Idea.

"Oh, I'm killed, Pm killed." gasped
a man as he stumbled INTO the arms OF
a policeman near the junction OF Pearl
and Chatham streets late last night.
The policeman asked him what was the
matter, but the man whose face was the
color of dirty chalk, only groaned do
lorously and pointed to the liquor sa-
loon on the corner. The policeman
proppcd him up against a lamp-post
and hurried to the saloon. 1t was
empty, save tor the bartender and his
assistant. They were both examining
a queer looking steel instrument, which
they dropped to the floor when they
saw the blue coat enter.
"uaye O been doing anything to
that man out there?" demanded the
policeman. -,
"We-er-we only usedthat thing"
began the bartender and then he stop
ped. ,|
The policeman straightway arrested
them both and maj ched them off to the
Oak street station house, from which
four of the reserves were sent back
with a stretcher for the injured man.
Two minutes later they came back and
said the nan had disappeared.
"What's that thing-a new dynamite
gun?" asked the sergeant, as the police
man deposited the curious looking steel
| instrument on the desk and ranged the
two prisoners before the railing. 'Iake
it away quick and put it in a pail OF
water"
"Hold OF, you'll ruin it," said the
bartender, and ii cost me S15. I'll ex-
plain the whole thing. It's only a
stomach pump. Y'see, our saloons on
a mighty bad corner. There's more
buns and beats loafing round there
than in any other place in the city,
s'heIp me, there it'll They've bin COM
in in one after another in a reg'ler per-
cession for months now and orderin'
drinks that they don't pay for. We've
dubbed 'em and fired 'em out of the
side door like sawdust, and had 'em
arrested and everything, but it hasn't
done a bit of good. They don't mind
the clubbin', and they like to get sent
up to the Island for ten days.
s'Fin'ly the boss said I'd have to 60
l didn't stop gettln' played for a
sucker so much. So | thought and
thought, and yesterday an idea hit me
I'd get one of them pumps doctors use
to get up poison from suercides' stom-
achs. thought one this mornin' and
I've been waitin' all day for the first
beat to come in and try to play me fol
a drink. That Teller the policeman
!: found outside was the first one. He
come in and called for GIN l thought
from his looks that he was a beat, so ]
wiuked at Barney-that's my assistan,
and he strolled round near the door
Then l set up the gin bottle. The bea1
filled his glass brlm full, drank it at one
swaller and then began the old game
s of looking through his clothes for
! dime he knew he didn't have. l wink.
ed at Barney again, and Barney grab
bed him by the neck.
ri "Now," said 1, "you pays that dime
+ or you gives me back that drink"
"But l find / amt got the dime
must have lost it or left it home, IN
how can l give yer back that drink"
"TIl show you," said |, grabbing thu
stomach pump and running around TIT
bar to him. He opened his mouth tt
e yell and l poked it down his throat
:. Barney's got an arm like a horse, ant
s he held him tight while l pumped
t Two minutes after l fired him out o
the side door and he wobbled off. Nov
you can't blame me, sergeant, ca
O your said the bartender. looking ap
pealingly at the man behind the desk
The latter carefully picked up tn
pump, handed it back to the bartende
with a grin, and told him that he'd BET
e ter hurry back to the saloon and clos
d up or he'd be arrested for keeping ope
Sunday morning.