Connecticut western news., 1885-01-07
WIT AND WISDOM.
WHEN to advertise-always.
 wHEN the dAys begin to lengthen, Then the cold begins to strengthen.

WHEN to advertise-aiwayS.
 wuES the days begin to lengthen.
 Then tho cold begins to strengthen.
 A ROLLER skate is a nice skate, but an toe skate is not roller skate. ruE snowl The snowl The beautiful snow Your heels will ly up, and down you gol
 WHEN hen retires for the night it is quite proper to speak of her as rooster. A YOUNG man asks: "When is the best time to moyeq" When you hear the dog start.
 PEorLE laughed at roller skating when first introduced. Now they laugh at the skaters.
 A WEALTHY man who obtains his wealth honestly aud uses it rightly is . great blessing to the community.
 IF in proportion to size a man could holler as loud as baby. there would be no telephones needed in this country.
 NEVER mind if you do have to burn four extra tons oi coal this winter. You can save at least S2 on ioe next summer.
 A CrNcINsATI drummer has bcen seri- ously Ill from the escape of gas in his room. He must have gone to sleep with his mouth open.
 ENERGY will do anything that can be done in this world; and no talents. no circumstances, no opportunities will make man without it
 THE custom of presenting canes to our first men has been revived. It originai- cd with Eve who presented Gain to the first man of that period.
 A CLEVELAND lady promenaded the streets for two hours with card on her cloak reading: "Former price. S20; marked down to SIP to close out r
 TM and brass do not go well together. says a scientific paper. Mfr. Science. you're away off. It's alwcys tho fellow with brass that gets thsSirl with tin.
 THOSE who employ their time III arc tl.e rirst 10 complain of it's sbortncss: those, on the contrary, who make tho best use of 1t have plenty and to spare.
 A DEnAwARn farmer has put down 0,000 herrings as a fertilizer. His theory is that tho crops will hurry into tue air away from tho smell of the herrinRs.
 'MR. SMITH, do you dye your hair" asked the small boy. "No; why did you think SO 2" "Oh, Idunno, only it's black, and sister said she reokoned you was born light-hcaded."
 THE attitude of the two houses of Congress on the tariff question recalls the story of the farmefr-kse boys. "sam, what are you doing 2" "Notnin q "Jim, what are you doing ?" "Helpin' Sam"
 THE man who prayed for those who sit under the ''drippingu of tho sanctu- ary" was a near relative of another who besought the Lord to ''prop up dc brud- der and sister with the properationa Of le gospel"
 WHEN you can't say anything in par ticular in praise of a man you can al. ways fall back on: "A few years ago he was mentioned as a candidate for the county ofiioe" This rounds him of good shape.
 THERE seems to be little vein of A- nor in President Cleveland with ssi his gravity and seriousness. "You are the first Democratic President ever saw, " remarked visitor to the President-elect. 'I am the first ever saw myself, ]" was the smiling reply.
 SrRANoERs are surprised to seo New Orleans policemen in full uniform drink. ing at beer bars with hoodlumh and smoking cigars on their beats while on duty. The New York policeman Snoakn around to back door to get his smoke and drink: but he has some style about him when he walks his beat.
 BEAUTY of form affects the mind. bu then it must be understood that it ia no the mere shell that we admire; we ar' , atir ricted by the idea that thh , shell is only beautiful case ad iusted to the shape and value of stil more beautiful pearl within. The DOT lection of outward loveliness is the sou | shining through ils crystalline covering "YEs," SAID Fogg, "my boy Tom one of the best boys ever saw he ia s' willing. you know. When his mothel | aava. as she bids him good night, Nov l Tom. I want you to get up early in th' } morning, he doesn't grumhle and tre
 as some boys do. No, sir; he replies
 Yes, mamma, with sweet smile tha
 is enough to do your heart good to see
 Yes, sir; Tom is a very thoughtful, 3 very affectonate boy" But does b r get up early ?" asked Brown. 'Got nl l early r thundered Fogg; ''get up car lyl or course he doesn't-net until b 3 is pulled out of bed by the hair oi hi ' head. As said, ho is n very willin 5 youngster; but you musn't expect i'm {; poss.bilities."