davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
Some Fa lous old Maids
North British Advertiser

IA
Look at the list Elizabeth, Of En-
gland, one OF the most illustrous mod
era sOvGreigns. Her rule over Great
Britain certainly comprises the most
brilliant literary age OF the English
men was certainly put TO as severe
tests as that Of any other ruler the
world over saw. Maria Edge worth
was an old maid. It was this waman's
writings that first suggested the
thought OF writing similarly to Sir
Walter Scott. Her brain might we'll
be called the mother of the Waverly
novels. Jane Porter lived and died
an old maid. The children of her
busy brain we're 'Thaddeus Of War
saw" and ''The Scottish Chiefs"
which have moved the hearts of nliI~
lions with excitement and tears.
Joanna Baltic, poet and play writer,
was lone of 'em." Florence Night
tingale, most gracious lady, heroine
of Inkermann and BaIaklava hospi-
tails, has to the present written Miss"
before her name. The man who
should marry her might well crave to
take the name of Nightingale. Sister
Dora, the brave spirit of English pest
houses, whose story is SIS helpful
evangel, was the bride of the worlds
sorrow only. And then what names
could the writer and the reader add
10 whom the great world may not
know, but We know, and the little
world Of the village, the church, the
family know, and prize Beyond all
worlds
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
LgBE

Mrs. DILL, of Wahpeton. D. 7. was
found guilty Of the murder Of her hus-
band and sentenced to the penitentiary
for life.
CHRIS KISSED. q butcher, of ArOra,
H., desp0n!ent over duIIness of trade,
went into his ice-bcx Friday and shot
himSel. lie is in critical condition.
DONALD c. TowNE, who was sent to
the Joliet pantitentiary from Chicago
for violation Of the postal laws, has
been pardoned by President Cleveland.
EUGENE WALTON, collector clerk in
the FIRST National Bank Of New York.
is charged with making false enteries 10
conceal a defalcation amounting to
$50, 200, and has been placed in Ludlow
street Jail.
GEORGE HICKS, an employc Of the Big
Four railway, Twins: al Indianapolis,
Ind, killed himself Friday BIZ taking
morphine. He left & letter giving his
bo3y 30 the surgeons for dissec5ing pur-
poses, and said ne was not afraid Of God
or the devil.
ANGUS CANNON, Milton Musser and J.
G. Watson, MOrmons, were all sentenced
at Salt Lake City for unlawful cohabi-
tatiOn. Each received the full extent of
the law-$300 fine and six months i'm
prIsOnmemt.
A SECOND attempt was made early
Monday morning TO burn the Child
ren'5 Home at Covingt0D, KY. The lit
tle inmates were badly frightened by
the smoke, but none Of them sustained
injury. There is no clue to the incen-
diary
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

1000 men TO the Afghan army. The
time which had been allowed the Sariks
to determine whether they would COM
ply with the order expired on the very
Gay the battle occurred, and an answer
from them was expected by the Afehans
on that day. The effect produced by
the Russians success on the minds of the
nejghboring people was so g1eat that
directly after the battle the Sarik and
Crsarlk Turcomans offered their allie
giance to Russia. A few days after the
battle, namely, on the 18th Ct April,
General Komaroff says he wrote to
Taib Salar, the Afghan Commander at
PenJdeh, that he had no further ami
mostly against the Afghans.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
PITH AND POINT.

One dose of chloral makes the whole
head SPIN.
The road to the poorhouse is the
road 10 rue-in.
Would it be just to say that all
physicians partially get their living
by pill-age9
Bulwer was right; there's no such
word as fail. It'll modified into as
Segment.
According to the doctrine of the sur
ViVa' OF the httest, the last man will
undoubtedly be tailor.
Miss Florence, do you love
beasts?' "Am l 10 consider that as q
proposal. sir?" was the lady 5 quick re
ply.
Young man, if you build UP a good
name it will slant like a monument,
so you won't need a large tomb stone
when dead.
A countrymao, who is camping
with his wagon and team in the su-
burbs of Austin, missed one OF his
horses. Why don't you apply to the
pollse? suggested a city friend. do
you thing they stole h;m2" was the
innocent response.
He WILL NEVER HURT HIMSELF
Drink to me DEAR a maiden said.
As to her beau she passed the cake
And urged that he some wine should take
Small he asked with shaking head
shall my resolution breakg"
Like ruby wine her cheeks grew red
And then in manner wondrouS wise.
20 mol" the bluShing maid replies,
L mean, as some one else once said,
Drink to me only with thine eyes
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
FROM TIE CAPITAL.

| The Canadian Cover nment is for
| warding additional troops, artillery and
ammunitI01 to General Middleton, in
! command Of the war in the Northwest
Territory.
THE Eatonologi8t Of the United States
| Agricultural Bureau at Washington
warns farmers and fruit-raisers that
this country will this year be VISITED by
swarns of devouring locusts.
| 4 MODEL i'll solid silver OF BartholdPs
great statue OF Liberty Enlightening
| the World" presented to the city Of
| New York, and which is to be erected
| in New York harb0r, was presented to
the City Of Paris by ex-United States
Minister Morton and other Americans
The model is 30 feet high, and will
stand on the PIacedas Etat8 Unis.
The commissioner of the general
land Office has selected William Walker,
of Oder, Ill.,, as chief clerk of that office.
to succeed William Dempsey, the pres
ent chief clerk. The appointment has
not been formally made out, but it is
understood Mr.. Walker will assume
charge Of that office next week.
The uperintendents Of U. S. minis
az San Francisco, New Orleans and
Philadelphia have been authorized to
purchase mutilated and uncurrent
United States silver coins of standard
fneness, at the rate of SO cents per
Ounc8 troy weight, when presented III
sums OF S. and upwards.
EUGENE SRMPLE, of Vancouver, w.
T., is here 30 urge his claims for ap-
pointment as Governor Of the Territory.
He is the son of the late General SempIe.
who was once United States Senator
from Illinois, Chief Justice of the SD
preme Court, and Charge d'Anaires in
New Granada during two administra-
tions
AN army delegation consisting of
Surgeon General Murray, Inspector
General Baird, Assistant Adiutant
General O. D. Greene, General Fl. j.
Hum, General Avres, and Lieutenant
C0loUel Hudson, called upon the Presi-
dent and urged the retention Of Miss
Sumner, daughter of General Sumner,
as Postmaster Of Charlottesville.
HEREAFTER leaves of absence will be
granted to the clerks and employees
Of the Treasury Department for not
more than thirty days for each year Of
service and for prOpOrtionate periods
for shorter terms of service, reckoning
back TO the last leave of absenCa grant
ed for the full time when due, but not
more than one year, all absences for
any cause whatever during the time
within the right to which a leave has
accrued will be deducted.
PROFESSOR @. V. RILEY, the Entonno-
logist of the Agricultural Department.,
SAYS that the country will soon be visit
ed by two great brOOds of Inc17sts. of
the seventeen and thirteen-year varie-
ties, and that this will be the first time
in pei years that they have appeared in
conjunction. They viii not prove great
ly destructive, and the injury they will
inf1ict will propably be confined to fruit
trees. The visitation will be prolonged
until late in July.
THE count Of monies and securities in
the United States treasury has been
completed, everything found to be in
satisfactory condition. and the reports
of ex-treasurer Wyman were proved in
| every instance. Even the alleged dis
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

SOME people are never satisfied. The
water>works of the city of Troy, are
full Of cells, and by simply tapping
the pipes fish two feet and half long
can be secured for breakfast, and so
Delightfully."- fresh Such an abund~
ance of cheap food would be consider
ed boon in any community, yet the
Trojans are running to and fro and
complaining to the water board that
their supply of water is choked off by
the cells. The idea OF complaining of
supply of fresh fsh with their
water!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

A Massachusetts, minister condemns
people for rigging up their children
for the Sunday school. (which goes
to show" says The Boston Transcript.
that even q Marlborough minister
doesn't know everything The better
children are dressed the better will
they behave; and if the conduct Of
the average Sunday school scholar
when he or she is rugged up IS very
nearly enough exasperating to cause
6he teacher to kill him or her in cold
blood, while the SUPERINTENDENT looks
on approvingly, for heavens sake,
what would the young creatures act
like if they were permitted to go to
Sunday school IN their everyday
clothing? Nay, nay, my ministerial
friend, let not a frill be obliterated
nor 2 stripe erased"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

A LETTER describing the markets 0
New Orleans says that everything is
sold by the eye, and there is no stand
ard Of measure. Nine tenths of the
hundreds who sell in the noted French
market of the city do not know what
a bushel or peck is. They buy their
vegetables by the lot and place them
in little piles on tables. These piles
are of different sizes and prices. The
buyer looks at the piles and buys that
which he thinks is biggest and best.
Sometimes buckets and boxes ars
used to measure. but they are of al
kinds and sha pes.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
Agricultural Items.

Be sure that the well water does not
come from the BARN. ard, the privy
vault or the cesspcol. Thousands of
farmers are drinking contaminated
water who have no suspicion Of it.
In Western NeT York IL is custO~
mary to plant corn ia drills for grain.
The rows are made about four feet
apart, with grain Of corn every nine
inches. One farmer who practices
this way Of planting says he can raise
20 per cent. more corn In this way
than by planting in hills.
For sugar beets the ground should
be 1eIl~prapared plowed deep and
thoroughly pulverized. The roots re-
quire deep soil, and the portion that
grows underground contains the most
saccharine matter; but none of the
beet viii grow above ground if the
soil Is mellow enough to permit ii to
penetrate it.
From a single kernel of wheat,
1920 pounds Of grain have been pro-
duced IN three years IN Grass Valley,
Cal. The first year there were 20
stalks and heads, yielding $50 kernels.
These were planted and yielded one
fifth Of q bushel. and last season there
we're raised from this seventeen bush
els
Mr.. G. W. Fairlee, who owns a
large farm near Trenton, n. J., cut
his cornstalks for the silo after raising
crop Of corn. The ears are picked
when they begin TO glaze, and piled
up Ia the sun to ripen. The stalks are
then green enough for excellent ensl-
lage, and he estimates that the shrink
age on the grain is only 5 or 10 per
cent,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
The Tramp'S Error,
Detroit Free Press.

A tramp who called at farm house
to ask for 3 cold bite was almost par
alyzed at being welcomed with smiles
and kind words ana having a fne
repasG laid out for him. In explana-
ton the woman said that he reminded
her Of her long-lost cousin.
At the next house the tramp at once
announced that he was the woman's
long lost brother, but instead of smiles
and mince pie. the woman seized the
broOmstick and went for him, SAYING:
''Slide out, you villain! They were
all girls in our family!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
Ehe Hardest Thing to Do.
New York Graph,

Il don't know what to do remark
ed g millionaire to his doctor. Il
want to go Into the country and live
quietly and without ostentation.
why don't you do it? Your health
demands rest Of that sort.
eyes, [ know it," replied the pa
tent, ''but my money gives me away.
What shall do2"
In that case" answered the physi-
clan, why don't you give your money
await"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
Only Good Staying Qualities Required
Phil4delDhi7 Call

Fair Maiden--Father, have come
to tell you that I have accepted Mr..
lgndramus, and that we are to mar
ried IN the spring. Now, [ would like
you to give your consent.
Irate Father-Glve my consent TO
your marrying such an idiot as he?
No, never! Why, he hasen't brains
enough to make sufficient money TO
buy suspender buttons.
Fair Maiden-But, father, III his pro
fession it does not require any brains.
Irate t'ather-What is bis profes-
sion?
Fair Maiden-He is member OF the
state legislature.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

crepaacy OF TIVE cents reported in the
count OF the cash r@om was shown to
be incorrect, as the missing Lvnries
were subsequently fouad on the floor
where they had dropped during the
count The books and accounts of the
treasurer's Office ars yet to be veri-
fed.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

The Clinical Record says that after
the chief engineer of the water de-
partment of Philadelphia pointed out
the poor quality OF the water and the
glazing defects in its supply, he was
requested by the authorities ito refrain
from any further expression of his
sentiments on the subject, no matter
how great the general public interest
in If. -
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

A PARTY who was employed in Ger
maniown 10 plant several beds of tu~
lips had not made good his departure
before fine crop of spring onions
showed up. He will have time for ru-
mination in private, with the conpen-
sating thought that his methods have
been pronounced 'original and in
oeuiO1Is >
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

ALL the shoe dealers in Pittsburgh
abbreviate the names Of their goods,
and so many cartoons are labeled
Cur Kid" that the citizens of the
Smoky City" fully believe, it is
said, that they are wearing dog skin
Shnns
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

''SALT should be eaten with nuts to
aid digestion" Water can be drank
to take away the effects Of the salt
and then more nuts can be eaten to
take away the taste of the water.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

THERE is large demand at Port
land, Oregon, for good servant-girls
to take the place now occupied by
Cinnamon.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

No time is lost at elections in British
Columbia. The recent elections were
held two days after the nominations
were made
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

AN observer OF smau distinc ton
in speech says that when you hear q
man say to another, 81 certainly an
glad to see you; / certainly am, +" you
may be sure be is from Nirginia.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

Mr.. S. S. STRATTON has just cornpil-
ed a bill Of mortality" Of the musical
profession during 1884 The death
roll contains 21O names. The average
age is 81 years and 2 months, against
SO years and 6 months in 1883. The
three years combined give an average
of 60 years and few DAYS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

4 VERMONT husband IS reported to
have frustrated the intended elope-
ment Of his wife by taking possession
Of her silk dress. He knew she
wouldn't run away in calico gown.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

THE abstract Of the Newfoundland
census for 1884, just published, shows
that the total population Of Newf0und-
land and Labrador is at present 1876,
All
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

FIFTEEN thousand shad have been
taken in the S1sfaehanna this season,
and shad-bakos are The fashionable
amusement.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

A FARMER near Sequel, CAL, has
put up q scare crow in his orchard
that is said to be so lifeLke in lis ap-
pearance chat his neighbors often adj
dress it and departin d rage at not re
ceiving q reply. They must have
curious looking people IN that section.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

The Japanese government intends
to send specimens of new steel gun
recently turned cut at the Osaka ar
senal to England and Germany for
experiments.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

THE problem Vi whether an eIcva-
tor is vehicle or an apartment re
mains unsolved, and the average man,
imprisoned in the thing with lady,
hesitates about takiag off his hat in
4Lo Juaft
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

The first year after setting apple
trees corn is a better hoed crop to
grow among the trees than potatoes or
any roots. It makes shade for the
ground and for the trees themselves,
besides insuring thorough cultivation,
which, however, should be given with
special care not to injure the trees by
whiff1etrees and horse caltivating i'm
plemcnts.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21
A Tranquil Nervous System.

Can never be possessed by those whose dig stiye
and assmilative organs are in a state Of chronic
disorder. Weak stOmachs make weak nerves.
To restore vigor and quietUde to the latter, the
first must be invigorated and regulated The
ordinary sedatives may tranquilize the nerves
for a while, but they can never, like Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters, remove the causes of nervous
debility. That superb in7igOrant and corrective
Of disordered conditions of the alimentary organs
has also the effect of imparting tone to the
nerves. The delicate tissues of which they are
constituted, when weakened in consequence Of
impoverishment of the blood, resulting from i'm
perfect digestion and assimilation, draw strength
from the fund of vitality developed in the system
bv the BitterS which imparts the required i'm
DetTs to the nutritive functions of the stomach,
enriches the circulation, a1C gives tone and reg
ularity to the secretive and evacuative organs.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

BURIED treasure seekers are at work
in Georgia. Near Covington, accord.
ing to The Star of that place, a color
ed man and several assistants have
been making excavations for several
months in hope of finding 800, 600,
which the principal in the scheme
AYERS was buried there three years ago
A CLERGYMAN desiring contributions
for special object, fitted up an OK
horn at the church door. Upon this
he inscribed his sspira lions to this eff
feet: This 'orn was once on the cad
of a hox, and now hit his missionary
box" It might have been the odd
jingle, and 1t might have been the old
Englishman's zeal, or a combination
Of the two, but certain It is that this
special missionary box attracted con-
tributions IN an extraordinary man
ner.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-21

OTTAWA, May - The following tel
egram was also received from Middle
ton: the steamer Northcote and an
other steamer are coming up the river
with company "C'' Of the school OF
infantry ana police, and will cut off
the retreat of the rebels. The rebel
loss is believed to be very severe, but
as yet it is unknown. TIE wounded
half breed brought In is Ambrose
JCdin, Of Riel's command"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-06-26
THE ELITE
ICE CREAM PARLORS !
NO. SIS HOTEL STREET.

MIR. II. J. HART TAKES GREAT PLEASURE
M in announcing to the public that he will
reopen the New Ice Cream PaTloTs, on Wednes-
day, May 9th, at m. on the site of the former
place, which destroyed by fire on the Goth OF
January.
The new place is elegantly fitted up, and taste
fully decorated. No expense has been spared to
class resort. Every effort viii be made and care
taken to keep up the high reputation of the
Celebrated ELITE ICE CREAM,
Which will be made in great variety, and the
most delicious havorings, I'm fact the purest and
the best.
Mons. Freund, late of the Palace and Grand
Hotels of San Francisco, has been specially en-
gagged for our Ice Cream and Pastry Department.
The following creams-Vanilla, Lemon, Straw
berry, Peach, Almond, Coffee, Chocolate, Oranges,
Pineapple, etc, etc. Sherbets and Ices.
Families and parties supplied with our celebrated
ice cream. Ladies can have their homemade
cream frozen at reasonable prices.
Orders received at short notice will be carefully
and promptly attended to. Cakes baked TO order.
ROBERTS choicest candies received fresh by
every steamer, and constantly on hand.
Coffee, Tea and Chocolate served at all hours
Ice Cream Drinks made to order in any style.
Soda Water, Ginger Ale and Tahiti Lemonade
A large assortment of Shells, COrals, Volcanic
Specimens, Tapas and general Island Curios
always on hand at reasonable prices.
The public are most cordially invited to inspect
our large and varied stock.
1 take this occasion TO thank the public of Homo
lulu for their previous liberal patronage, and
solicit continuance of the same.
Very respectfully,
H. ]. HART,
Proprietor of the Elite Ice Cream ParlOrs.
Ring up Telephone No. 1S2. 214-h
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-06-26
SHIPPING NOTES.


The schooner Mile Morris brought 400 bags
paddy, and the schooner Josephine $50 bags rice,
from Eva on June 25th.
The steamer c. r. Bishop brought 23I bags sugar
from Kauai, and 155 bags paddy from waiaIua, on
June 25th.
LYMAN Brothers chartered the steamer c. r.
Bishop on June 25th to take 1.40O bags paddy to
Kooiau to be ground, as AIessrs. Chielau & Co.'S
mill, near the fish market, has stopped grinding
His MaJesty's yacht HeaIani and the w H.
Reid were hauled upon the marine railway on
June25th, TO be cleaned.
The steamer Lehua brought ,OOs bags sugar and
20 head cattle from Hamakua on June 25th. Re-
ports pleasant weather. She wiz probably be
hauled on the marine railway tomorrow to be
cleaned.
Captain Davis, Of the Lehua, reports that the
steamer KInau, with the volcano party on board
left MahukOna at . o'clock on Wednesday morn,
ing for Keauhou, the new landing Of the volcano
route.
The schooner Haeakala brought 1854 bags sugar
from Pepiekeo, Hawaii, on June 25th. Reports
rough weather at HiIo
The Hawaiian brigantine Hazard is still at HIo
loading sugar for san Francisco.
The schooner waimalu was to have left Iaupa-
hoehoe on June 10Th with sugar for here
The barkentine Ella has finished unloading her
cargo and has already taken in sugar. She was
moved to near the Oceanic Steamship Company's
wharf ON June 25th
The steamer waimanalO brought 500 bags sugar
from WaimanaIs on June 22th.
The schooner MaloIo brought $40 bags sugar
from Laupahoehoe on June 25th. which were trans
ferred b the bark Oriente.