The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1885-12-18
Musings on the Nature of a Mule.

Musings on the Nature of a Mule.
I know that the mule is the only an
imal that Noah didn't take into the
ark with him. I looked over the
reight list carefully, and could not see
a mule way-billed for any place. So
clear-headed a man as Noah did not
dare to take one on board as he knew
he would kick hole through her in
less than week. don't know man
on whose head you could pour quick
silver and run less risk of spelling it
than on Noah's. He was dreadful
level-headed man, and before the fresh
let was over everybody on earth real
lied the fact. The origin of the mule
is enveloped in a good deal of ofmystery
| Tradition informs us that when the
flood had subsided and the ark had
Ian on Mount Ararat Noah was very
much surprised in one OF his obvserva-
tions tofnd a good healthy mule stand
ing ON the top OF an adjoining noun
tain. The same tradition informs us
that the mule is the only animal that
lived through the flood, outside the
ark. The mule can be considered IN
great many ways, though the worst
place to consider him is directly from
behind, anywhere within radius of
ten feet. never consider mule from
that point unless 1 am looking through
the f1ue of a boiler.
The mule has one more leg than a.
milking stool, and he can stand on one
and wave the other three round in as
many different directions. He has on
ly three senses-hearing, seeing and
smelling. He has no more sense of
taste than a stone jug, and will eat
anything that contains nourishment,
and he doesn't care two cents whether
it contains one per cent, or ninety
nine. All he asks is to pass him along
his plate with whatever happens to be
handy round the pantry, and hewon't t
go away and blow how poor the steak
is. He just eats whatever is set before
him and asks no questions. If l
we're to have a large picture of
innocence to hang in my parlor and
l did not wish to sit for it myself,
should get a correct likeness of mule.
There is innocence in q mules conte-
nance to fit out a Sunday school class.
1t looks as guileless as an angleworm.
A mule never grows old Or dies; once
brought into existence he continues
forever. The original mule is now
alive somewhere in the South and is
named Bob Toombs, because he is SO
stubborn. Mules are chiefly found in
the South and West. They have been
more abused than Judas Iscariot. A
boy who would not throw a stone at
a mule when he gets chance would be
considered by his parents too mean to
raise. The mule is a. good worker,
but he cannot be depended upon. He
is liable to strike, and when he strikes
human calculation fails to find any
rule by which to reckon when he will
60 to work again. 1t is useless to
pound, for he will stand more beating
than sitting-room carpet. He has
been known 20 stand eleven days in
one spot, apparently thinking ofsome-
thing, and start off again as though
nothing had happened.
To fully appreciate the mule one
should listen to his voice. You never
can really know whether you like a
mule or not till you hear him sing. I
attended a mule concert at Chicka-
mauga during the war. The wagon
train was in front. The mules were
starved for water. The gallant Clei-
burne was protecting the rear. Thomas
pressed him hard. The music, or pro-
gramme, opened with a soprano solo
and then swung into a duet, and then
pranced off into trio, followed up by
quartet and ending with full chorus
of the whole army train. didn't hear
the whole thing, for when came to,
the regimental surgeon was standing
over me, giving me powerful restora-
tives, and Iheard him say that Knight
possibly get out again, though Iwould
never be a well man again. I have been
in places where it took nerve to stand
such as falling out of a three-story
window, and having been through the
New York Exchange and spent part
of a day in boiler factory, and having
been on one or two Sunday school
excursions where the crowd were all
girls-but never know what noise was
till heard a lot of army mules bray.
-Dyersburg (Tenn.) Gazette.