St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-30
ELI PERKINS TALK.
A Near-sighted Boston Youth and His
Untimely Appearance in Lady's
DresSing-ROom.
Dancing Going Out of FashiOn--Its Much
Better to Flirt in q Secluded
Corner.
a Rich Old Parvenu Who Snubbed
n ST. Paul Woman at Sa,n-
toga.

DAhAlOGA. aug. 20 nap
pened TO sit at new table in the States
dining-room. At my right was a very
wealthy Fifth avenue lady, Mrs. Van Ness,
whose husband has recently become rich.
Like the average Fifth avenueite, Mrs. Van
Ness does not appreciate true worth, but
bows down to money and good clothes.
know this because / live on Fifth avenue
myself.
As the rich old parvenu sat down she
ScOwled at the table-cloth, put her hands up
TO her thousand-dOllar earrings. and re-
marked contemptuOuSly to friend Oppo-
site:
"Yez, I'm going to cut that horrid Mrs.
Mason, from 81. Paal. I'm going 10 cut her
dead. must do il"
why do YOU cut the lovely Mrs. Mason?''
asked her lady friend.
Because" said the rich Mrs. Van Ness,
because her husband has lost all his
money, and she wears n machine-made
dress, and maehine-made dresses are vul-
gar. Do you think 1 want TO associate
with any such dresses as she wears? Met'
And then this indignant and aTistOcratic
old lady from Fifth avenue went on eating
fried potatoes with her knife.
Glow do You know Mrs. Mason wears a
! machine-made dresS?- asked her ffiend.
How do [ know? How do / know?
Why, eontidentially, between you and l.
used to be a seamstreSs in Chicago myself.
and can see the machine stitches in Mrs.
Mason'S dress clear across the room; but,
for goodness sake. don't say told your
SARATOGA DANCING.
Dancing has almost ceased at the water
| ing places. The bathrooms are beautiful
and the band music is expensive and inSpir-
ing. but it is out of fashion 10 dance. Fiji
teen years ago. rs soon as the band struck
up there would be a scampeTing To the ball
room door. Many fights occurred. because
OF gallantS diSputing about partners or
about localities TO dance. To-day, when
the band strikes up. 4 few children whirl
OFT in the round dances, while the young
ladies sit around the room and wait. Later
on, a few country people or villagers walk
YEARLY through a square dance or two and
the sO-called great ball ends. l asked a
young lady why dancing was going out
80. it's horrid," she said. Dancing
will DO among 4 crowd of Tcmping girls in
fouT-do!ar muslin dresses, but dancing isn't
nice when you are dressed in three-hun-
dred dollar Worth dress, with point lace
sleeves. IT moiStenS the powder on your
| face. bangs down your hair, peTSDires your
uANN~t@. alial llLAGN gu ltNl NAAGAE OkCl-
A refined man is disguised at 4 red-faeed.
putting sticky girl"
Then what shall the girls do in the ball
rOOm?" | asked.
why. sit around and see the fools dance
as they do in China. You can't talk when
you are dancing. 1t destroys everything
mental. How much better to sit in the
corner with nice young man and talk and
watch the boiling crowd of country lunaticS.
treading on each others toes. As the
| perspiration runs down their faceS?"
a SARATOGA BLUNDER.
A young. shoTt-sighted Boston literary
man arrived in Saratoga yesterday. After
adjusting his one-barrelled English eve
glass, he registered his name and was as
! signed TO room 224 at the States and his
! luggage sent up. Then cur Boston phil
oSopher walked straight out into the country
! 10 look for specimens of bugs and curious
geological fossils.
At night our near-Sighted Boston Young
man came back. lie adjusted his eye-glass
and stumbled upstairs 10 his room. but he
! accidentally got into the wrong nom. The
room he entered was 222. which is occupied
by two lovely girls from Philadelphia. The
young ladies were both IN the bathroom.
/ On their return 10 their room. il being shady
and dark, they didn't notice the young man
who lay Sprawled on the bed. So they
threw off their clothes down to a loose gar
ment with low neck and no sleeves, and
went on making their toilets. After they
had washed and powdered their faces and
put ON pink and blue silk stockings to match
their dresses, one said:
30. Julia. I'm going to try a red rose leaf
on my cheeks tonight. Now don't let me
put on too much and make n guy of my
! self" As she said this she caught glimpse
of the young man sprawled out on the bed
| Then there was bedlam.
80, man! help! O!O!O.r' they shouted.
''He'll kill us, o, murder,
This awoke young Boston who screamed:
''What you doin' in my room? Go way.
! Go 'wayr'
Its our ROOM screamed the young Ia
dies, crouching INTO a corner.
Its mine. oh. go Out!' he shouted back;
sits 224."
mo, it's 222: amt you 'shamed?" re-
turned the girls.
This brought our near-sighted BOstonian
| to his senses. and lie made haste to leave
As he went into the hall the whole house
seemed to be aroused.
Its mistake. he said to the walters,
detectives and reporters: Its all mistake.
| mistOok the rOOm-just my darned stu
and"
what is your nameg" asked a reporter
of the SaratOgian, pencil in hand.
Name >" exclaimed the BOstonian;
''name, Darn my name! Just put it down
as Fool-plain Darn Fool"
GRANT $50 FEET HIGH IN BRASS.
Grants tomb in New York is about nine
miles from Castle Garden. Talking with
Mayor Grace at Saratoga to-day he said:
The tomb has caused great activity in
the real estate market up town. Twelve
| lots, an even square, near the monument
site. were offered to me three weeks ago for
S100 600. To-day they are asking $50, 600
for the same square"
''Will the monument surely be built?" /
asked
''Of course it will. Property owners
| along Riverside park can afford to subscribe
| $500, 600 to have il built. Ii twelve lots
! gain in value $50, 900, fOrty-eight lots OF
four squares would gain S2OO, 900. The
tomb occupies a spot ON the island preyi-
ously unknown and unvisited. 4 street
| railway NOW runs up the Grand boulevard
directly to il. Vanderbilt has also run his
Madison avenue street car system clear
! across the Harlem river to Mott Haven.
| There is a tremendous activity all over the
| upper end of Manhattan island"
what advancement in real estate has
been caused by the proposed monument" i
asked leading real estate man.
1t has advanced uptown real estate S20.-
900. 600. 1t has anticipated the building up
of the upper end of the island ten years.
Twenty thousand people who never saw
the northern end of the island are up there
prospecting every day. In fact the city can
well afford to build milliOn-dOllar mOnu-
ment Cologne on the Rhine takes in over
I n.