Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-27
BRIGHT BITS.

AN applicant for appointment on the Kansas
City (MO) police force received a blank to-hll
out. one Of the questions beng What is the
general state of your bealth?' To this he ap
pended Missouri. "--EGchdnOe.
MRS. HoNEYMooN-'I should so like that
pretty basket for Adonis, dear. but haven't
a dollar to get it with" HONEYMOON (pro-
vokingly)--"My love, what do you want with
dollars? ] am your legal tender, now, you
know."-Lie.
"a BABY in the house is a well-spring of
pleasure" says father who is always away
from home at night. stay at-home daddies
nave found that baby in the house often
causes sick Jump OF pain when paregorlc is
needed.-Nea0 YORK. JOur1aI..
so you have got twins at your house?"
SAID Mrs. Bezumbe to little Johnny Samuel
SON YES man. two OF EN- What are
you going to call them" Thunder and
Lightning" Why those are strange names
the house. '-7erds Strings.
SOMETHING NEW IN COoKERY.-A gentle
man seated behind plate Of beef and beans
in one OF the coffee and cake saloons on Park
Row sald to the waiter; Bring me nap
shook his head obviously. ~ don't believe
we've got any," he said, but III ask the boss.
Prhaps hen send out for 1t. How do you
want it cooked|-NeeO York Sun.
Jim McsNIFTER," said Galveston school
been behaving yourself much worse than
usual for the past few days. 81 know it, but
I've Just got to behave bad" responded the
hoy. Why have You TO behave worse than
usualY" Because the mumps are going the
rounds, and want to make up for the time |
am gong to lose when I catch 'em.'- Teeas
Siftinas.
IT was at the breakfast table. Mr. Smiling
boy was telling Mrs. 5. about a farce he had
attended the night befo~e. "Ah," said he
dear. VOn'1 vOn
could have seen IT." Then he added, in a
tone OF burning enthusiasm, "HOW / wish
you'd been there' Even now he cannof
quite understand why Mrs. SIS remarks
directly afterward took such an unusually
and violently personal turn.-HdrDer'S BGsdT.
JUST when John Logan seems laid out
All hatter than a sapjack,
And when the mourners weep and wall,
And cry, There's no more pap, Jackw
Up bounces he and bellows out,
Next time you try to sack Jack,
just have the sense to bear in mind
That there's Mrs. Black Jack"
And she's the one that sent her Jack back.
Boston Budget.
THE Way 1t Often Happens: Stranger. to
waiter at the hotel-"Here, I have made a
slit in one Of my boots. Send it to the shoe
maker and ask him to stitch it up" An hour
after. Errand boy, to- porter--''Heres a
stitched boot for No 6; cost a penny" Por-
ter, to bOots-"Here's a stitched boot for No
q; had to pay threepence; give me the
money" Boots to waiter-'Here's boot for
No; s; I've paid sixpence for mending it; pay
up" Waiter, to stranger-"H the mend
ed boot; cost shilling; l paid it myself"
Some time later. Stranger, to shoemaker
II say, what did you charge for mending that
boot?" Observation-Disclosures" - liverpool
Courier.
IN the late Mr.. Bromley Davenport's
sport is related an anecdote of a Young
gentleman who had been invited to a ducal
castle, and was to go out the next day in the
deer forest, a deli ght of which he had dreamed
for years, and which was now, he thought, to
be realized. But on the morning of the day
he CHANGED TO hear this dialogue between his
Grace and the head forester: "The Duke
Donald. young Lord - (bimself) will go on
the hill TODAY Donald-'Yes. your Grace.
The Duke-'Where will you take hims' Dom
ald-'Well, your Grace, is he to kill a stag. or
have shot, or only see deer, or just go for
wa-a-lk" Long and terrible was the pause,
and painfully excited the interest of the
listener, before, in grave, measured tones, the
evidently well-weighed and thought-o de-
cisOn reached his ear: We'll, Donald, you
may just take him for walk y Erchange.