Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-25
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE was countless millions of mosquitoes
down on the marsh to-day" said Johnny
Johnny" said mamma, ''dOn't eXaggerate,"
II don't zaggerate ma; there was countless
millions for Jimmy Brown and me counted
EN-. '-BOstOn Transcript.
WE would like to find a scientist in this en-
hghtened country who can satisfactorily ex-
PLAIN how boys SHIRT gets turned wrong
SIDE out warm day when he has "been right
to school and back" There never was boy
who could imagine how it happened.-Bo
Post.
THE report that 700 persons had been pois-
oned by eating ice cream at Tallulah Falls.
ga, ana that 20 were unconscious and would
however VIII preserve the original report TO
show their girls when it will do the most
good.-N0rristoaOn Herald.
A PERSIAN philosopher beng asked by what
method he had acquired so much knowledge
answered; "By not being prevented by shame
from asking questions when was ignorant"
According to this Botion, a 5-year-old boy
travelling In the cars with his mother ought
to acquire enough knowledge in journey of
fifteen miles to split his head wide open -
Aorr5stoaon Herald.
JACK" said tramp to his partner as he
sat on the coping of the ex-c0urthouse, "ef
times don't git better well have to go round
on Weber's point an live on figs W at fall off'n
the trees" Yes" SAID Jack. as he scanned
MS bare knees protruding through his pants.
II Wuz jlst thinkin' that eff somethin' don't
turn up afore long IN hev use for the leaves
also"-Stocktoa Naeertck.
"WHAT is your name, little girl?" asked the
sunday school teacher of a new scholar.
''Sheolen Miller, Miss.' was the answer.
'Sheoleng' repeated the teacher, somewhat
surprised; isn't that rather queer name?"
"Ies, Miss; but before the revised version
came out 1t wasn't so queer"
Then the teacher fell to thinking of spiritual
matters.-Ctacinndti Merchant Traoe2ler.
DELICATE creatures with collars and shoes,
shirt studs and trousers designed to amuse,
Ever involved in their epicene feuds.
SeXless and sappy-these are the dudes.
No wonder the country Is sick of the lot,
No wonder it's anxious to send him to pot:
Their vacuOus twaddie on comfort intrudes,
A hg for such manlkins-down with the
dudes. Boston Bud0et.
81 don't see much of my husband nova
days" sighed West Side woman. dejectedly,
cOnversing over the backyard fence with a
neighbor. what is he doing most Of the
time" He's working in the pail factory"
where's that?" q don't know exactly. 1t
Is somewhere down town. He calls it a
'bucket-shop, but think the name pail fac
tory doesn't sound quite so harsh and dis
graceful. '-ChjcaGo TeIeGrGm.
A MEMBER of the Pennsylvania Editorial
Association. who shah be nameless because of
the high regard we entertain for his family
stopped into Chestnut street barrOom yester-
day and called for brandy and peppermint
The articles were placed before him, and
when he poured gill Of brandy and half as
much peppermint extract into the glass the
attendant eXpOstulated, saying that il he
drank that it would cremate his liver
Never you mind. returned the able Journal
lst II am running patent lnsides this year"
-PhitadeLDbid Press.
A SEEKER after information sends us the
following query. We cannot but admit that
his conclusions are reasonable: 1.-THE other
DAY was told that p man was going to cook
my goose for me. Now, would like to know
what right he, or any one else, has to cook my
goOsef l do not want it cooked, and as
haven't got one. how is he going to cook it?
II owned one wouldn't let him do it, even
If had to move to another town to prevent
It. II he still insisted and followed me he
would have to do it at his own expense. II
had one and it was vicious, and chased the
neRhbOrs' mules around the pasture, l would
chain it up. II any man feels like cooking a
goose, let him cook his own, and not attempt
to cook other peoples" TEXAS Strings.
BEE-REAvED.-
Out ia an orchard Cupid hid
Among the apple blooms;
He watched my Tom and me- he did,
As ghOuls watch at the tombs.
We met, as he supposed we would,
And there, beneath a tree,
Because there was no vacant chair,
sat upon Toms knee.
Cupid examined well his darts,
At once his bow he drew.
And would have shot through both our hearts
An arrow bright and new;
But bad bee forso0k his flower,
And lit on TOMS thin clothes;
In less than one-fourth OF an hour
He painfully arose
And left the apple blossoms and me
And for ammonia went
/ lived an Old maid. just because
That arrow was not sent.
-Boston Transcript.