Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-10
Minister after church You seemed


had dozed through it all-''Y-yes, l
was-er-very much interested indeed;
but would you mind repeating the text?
The exact words have escaped me. :"
Minister giveth His beloved
sleep. ."-Ne,o York San.
Proud mother-.'Do you know, dear.
| believe our baby will be singer
perhaps great tenor like Brignoli or
Campanini?" Tired father-'.He strikes
high c mighty often, if that's what you
mean" P. M.-''Yes, the tones are so
sweet and shrill. l hope we will be
able to have his voice cultivated in
Europe" I. F.-.'By Jove! good idea.
Send him now"
Visitor (at Indian schooD-''So all
these children are ndians?" Teacher
Yes. Many of them are sons and
daughters of great chiefs" Visitor
What are they doing now?" Teacher
This is arithmetic hour. and they
are doing sums" Visitor-..Ah! Yes,
Ihave often heard of Indian Summers. ="
The silence which followed was only
broken by the whiz of tomahawks.
PHILADELPHIA CAL.
How is your mother coming on P"
asked Mrs. Howard of little Johnny
Hunt, who was playing in front of his
fathers house in Corsicana. ''She is
feeling mighty blue" replied Johnny.
why, what is the matter with herr"
She invited more than hundred
people to her ball, and every one of 'em
has accepted. No wonder she feels
blue. She allowed half of 'em would
stay away. .'-7eras Sytings.
Husband Cat the dinner table)-It
strikes me, my dear, that the new cook
is not as good as the old one. Fashion
able Wife-No, her cooking is very bad.
For the past day or two poor little Fido
attribute it all to her hav ng eaten i'm
properly cooked food. Unless the dear
little thing improves very much within
a very short time, shall certainly make
a change.-Detroh Post.
Tennyson's song, Come Into the
Garden, Maud" was rewritten some
fifty times before it was finished
Louisville Times. Well, the reason
was that Maud wouldn't go into the
garden where he was for long while,
and he kept on changing the verses
until the grapes got ripe. Then Maud
thought it wouldn't be wrong to go in.
She could tell her mother she went in
for some grapes. kentucky State Jour
nal.
A venturesome 6-year-o!d boy ran
into the forest after the team. and rode
home in triumph on the load. When
his exploit was related. his mother asked
him if he was not afraid when the team
was coming down very steep hill.
Yes. little" said he, .'but l asked
the Lord to help me, and hung on like
q beaver" Some pray and do not hang
on; some hang on. but do not pray.
The safe way and right way is to join
PRAYER and labor, faith and works, zeal
/ and patience. -ErchaRge.
An agricultural paper informs its
readers that "A hive of bees placed in
the orchard will increase the crop of
apples, as the pollen rubbed off the
bodies of the bees fertilizcs thousands
of blossoms which might otherwise be
barren. We can assure our farmer
friends, however. that one cross dog
placed in the orchard will increase the
apple-crop 80 per cent more than two
hives of bees. A cross dog will go
right to the spot quicker than the
pollen. -NorriSt0Un HerdiH.
One of the days in the late star-route
trial in Washington seemed particular
ly uncomfortable all round. Witnesses,
attorneys. court officials. and even the
Judge himself appeared to be in an
exceedingly unamiable mood. As MIR.
Ingersoll left the urt-house at lunch
time he passed horse hitched by the
sidewalk The animal snapped at him
viciously. Jumping quickly out of the
way, the Colonel fired back At the beast:
And what court are you Judge of ?"
The incident coming to Judge Wylie's
ears. he said: well, Ingersoll has
more horse sense than any lawyer l
know of.
In the palmy days of Wabash citi-
zen of St. Louis. who was large
speculator in the stock, bloSsomed out
with a fine residence, fine turn-outs,
diamonds, and wine supper and when
an old acquaintance asked the secret of
his fortune he replied: why, me and
Wabash are up" The OF er night a
miserably clad, broken down man asked
for lodgings in Chicago police station.
and citizen standing by exclaimed:
why, this is MIR. -, form rly of st.
Louis ;how comes this change?' "Well.
Wabash and me are down." was the
answer, as he went to his bed on hard
,,l,pl W,nU 81 r.af Aa,ce
Sam Oppenheimer of San Antonio
was one of the passengers on the San
Saba that was robbed few weeks ago.
..Shell out your money, or of goes the
top of your head, remarked one of the
robbers, holding pistol under Sans
nose. Three hundred dollars wash
every cent got, so hellup me schiminy
grashus" Hand 'em over" Sam
did so, keeping back Sc. What are
you keeping back them So for?' mildly
inquired the robber, pressing his pistol
against Sans he. d. Mine Gott, don't t
rou let a man take out ? per cent ven
he advances money mitOut securitiesP
asked Sam.-Tcnas Sytimgs.
A young Chicago man who returned
from Massachus etts three weeks ago
leaves for that state again to-day. He
had the pleasure when East before OF
taking a very attractive girl out sleigh
ing. She is young, pretty and rich.
The Chicago blossom has been think
ing about it ever since. 1t appears
that after they had been driving for an
hour or two she asked him naively:
is it necessary to use both hands in
drivng?" and he had said: mo, of
course not can dri with one hand
as well as with two Then he did
drive with one hand all the rest of the
evening. showing off more or less as
occasion required. Since his return
home he has bcco ne convinced that the
young lady's remark had a hidden
mean liz, and it makes him mad when
he thilks how stupid he was. 1t is