New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-03-10

Mr.. ST. John declares that all he has of value is
his integrity. Nobody Is likely TO despol him of
that IL is notthe kind OF integrity anybody wants.
Mr.. Gladstone's Tory friends are overwhelmed
w th solictude respecting his mental state. They
oonsde him dc,nented, not because he declined to
accept their cordial invitation to resign Office, but
bocanse lie frequents secondhand shops and orders
hats by the hundred. But this is what every dealer
in the hat-trsde is known TO do. and the Prime
Minister may be as mad as the proverbial halter and
vet have sanity enough to conduct the British Gov
eminent. The trouble with the Torres in great
division is that hats alone to he counted in the
lobby on their side If they could have mustered
single great head in the recent debate the, would
have had hats enough and to spare in the division :;
and the Ministers would have lost their heads.
Mr. Bayards ped rec patent is being seriously in
fringed upon. They are running Postmastcr-General
Win. back to yilers. tho first Duke of Buckingham.
Now is the time for aristocratolGgsts to explain
the difference between mushroom and Goldfish.
II is about time that the old backwoods method
OF delivering coal in orr cities WAS given up. and
some better plan adopted. AT present the delivery
Of "A ton OF coal Is unmitigated nuisance to oil
who live in the vicinity. well rs TO pedestrians IN
general II Is dumped on the sidewalk, generally
IN such a way that people who wish to pass are
Obliged to turn out into the gutter. Or If they
decide to climb it. they quite likely to be
Int with several Jumps OF coal by the man who is
shoyeng it and even If they escape that annoyanc
they are sure to get their boots trousers soiled
with coal dust. Ii this nuisance were unavoidable
il would DO unnecessary TO speak OF it, But 1t is
not Coal might he delivered rs it is some cities
in England. IN strong sacks each holding two or
three hundred pounds The mouths of these sacks
could be inserted in the coal holes. they could he
carried bodily into the coal bin aud empted and in
this way n vast amount OF dirt and clatter would
lac avoided. In the way much noise might be
done away with in houses if the coal to be used in
crates or stoves placed In small paper bags
which could be laid on tho fire without the I'M
earthly noise now necessary. BY attending to
triiles like these life may be made much more eli.
durable
| Colonel Bob Ingersoll-and rather q bright man is
| Colonel Bob--has discovered another proof that
religion is all a hoax. "Comparo George Eliot with
Queen Victoria he says; tho ono Is clad in robes
of glory woven In the loom of her own genius. The
| other is queen by blind fortune" We have seldom
seen n more unanswerable argument against relig-
| ion George Eliot was born genius, and Victoria
queen. When these two vital facts are consid-
cred in all their intimate relations with tho gospel
how can any one longer doubt that there is no God
| An Ohio newspaper occupies two columns telling
| how "Fahrenheit got his zero-mark." A marked
copy should be sent to q gentleman of the name OF
| Mcdonald siding in neighborng State. lie
| might like TO compare notes with Fahrenheit.
The World of Sunday reproduces one Of its dis
patches of February 20 rs proof that 1t announced
Mr. Cleveland's Cabinet before any other paper. Ii
that dispatch il was said that five men had beer
decided upon aud some guesses were made as to thu
Others. Identlcally tho same facts with the OK
ception of single namo, appeared In The TRiBUNI
of February 90 that In it's gucsses The World wa
L six daus Lahnd TRIauNE. Tha fruth ahQu