The National tribune., 1885-02-05
TRIBUNETS.
OLD MAIDS AND BUaBLEBgEs.

OLD MAIDS AND BUMBLE-BEES.
The announcement that a consignment of bum
ble-bees has recently been sent from England to
New Zealand in order to enable the people to raise
red clover, calls attention to the not generally
known connection between red clover and old
maids. The thing runs in this wise: The petals Of
the red clover deep that the flower can only
be fertilized by the long antennse of the bumbe-
bees the common bees being too short for the pur-
pose. Field mice have great fondness for bum
be-bee honey, and unless they are checked will
destroy their nests. The only way that they can
be kept in check is by the presence of the cat and
the world well knows, the only real, true, SUBJ
stantia friend of the cat is the old maid. Conse-
quently, the growth of red clover involves the
proximity of these maiden guardians of the animal
that does much to make our nights hideous and
sleep impossible.
Boston Transcript: so your son has gone abroads
Aren't you afraid he will fall victim to the chol-
era?'' No. indeed; he is a member of baseball
club, and his friends inform me that he was never
known to catch anything"
liverpool (Eng.) Courier:
Three fishermen went gsyly out into the North
Out into the North the sun was high,
And they chucl<led with glee as they sailed forth,
Resolved to capture the trout-or die.
For men viii fish and men will lie,
About the trout they caught on the fly
Their Sunday school lessons scorning.
And blamed " the whole of the finny race;
For never q nibble had touched fly or spoon,
And each sighed as he wet the hole in his face
For will fish and men will lie
And the way they caught trout when nobody5 nigh
Is something to teli-ln the morning.
Three fishermen came into town at night,
And their "speckled beauties" were fair to sec,
They talked of their sports - with keen delight
The envy of all the fraternity.
But men will fish and men will lie.
And what they can't catch they're sure to buy,
And never repent in the morning.
The Critic: Mr.. Dolby, in his account of Dickens's
tour in the United States expresses great astonsh-
ment at finding that we call a wash hand jug"
pitcher. don't think this nearly as strange az
that the English call pitcher Wash hand-jug"
Client" So you think 1 have lost my case, do
your"
La,cyer-"O, no. Your grandchildren may be
permitted to lose it, but shall certainly not allow
any such thing to happen in your day"
1t is getting time to pick stories about the failure
of the peach crop.
The Independent:
NV Ladyis cheek Is soft and red
My Lady holds her graceful head
On high,
And why?
She knows not yet OF care or woei
She only lives to bud and blow
My foolish Lady Jacqueminet.
My Lady's checks less soft and red,
My Lady's bowed her weary head.
And why?
Shes nigh
A heart that once WAS light as snow,
But hearts and flowers die you know,
When broken, Lady JaequemnOt
A jury of IL young men of Bridgeport has been
impaneled to determine which of Il young ladies
of the city Is the prettiest. If that jury Is noe
hung" it will be because the Judgment of the IL
defeated bellies cannot be followed up by execution.
OUGHT TO HAVE THE MEDAL.
Like the little girl who had curl right down the
middle of her forehead. Ohio men, when they are
good are likely 20 be very, very good, and when
they are bad they are horrid Miss Annie Woods.
of Leetona, in that State, in petition for damages
for breach of promise, exhibits her perfdious
lover as the Washington Monument among mean
men. She says:
We were regularly engaged. and were to BE-
married next May. About week before New
Years was taken sick, snd he came 70 see ma
every day and seemed very soEcitouS for nay
speedy recovery, and did not for n moment
doubt him. The day before New Years he came to
me and noticed my gold necklace lying on the
stand in front OF the bed picked 1t and remarked
that it might get lost and If had no objections he
would take il and keep it until got around again.
I told him that he could He came back that night
and sat up with all night and gave my med
when I discovered that he WAS married the day
before New Year and gave my necklace as a we'd
ding present to his bride"
i. seems to us that this would be good man 70
turn over to the English as dynamter.