New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-04-21
TIE Talk OF THE DAY.

HE I1Lh OF IHE DdI.
church society In Concord, Mass, proposes for the
purpose OF course, OF raising money, To reproduce
house fitted up Colonial style The report is current
that attempt making to gather together some speci
Of the wit and humOr Of hundred years ago as
further rebuke to Mark Twain"
An eccentric man OF Hollis. n. H.. named Twiss has
lust died and his will has scandazed the State. Among
other curious features 1t provided that $50 should be
expended for peanuts and candy for the and
that a brass band paid $40. should furnish music
nc the funeral The Judge refused to admit the will
to probate
There's good deal Of money in the house tonight"
SAID the head usher aepn a ' ,eaaheaSs
That's idea seeking ~ convey. said the mead
usher supposed there must be gooi deal OF money
m the house know that very few them left any at
the box-onice. II Boston Transcript
Baltimore boasts Of millionaire reporter, who
squanders his money In hack nre whenever he Is given
anything do There is an abundance of room in this
city ofmghty distances the Introduction CT this
practice is TO be feared that practical application
OF 1t for a few weeks would bankrupt a Rothschild
Don't hurt the poor conductor,
For he Is not To blame;
Although the train amt loaded,
Merchant Traveller.
Infdelity ucompatibIty OF temper. cruelty. fraud,
insanity and other alleged for divorce have now
an addition IN the plea OF Of Pittsburg that his
wife Is constant attendant at baseball MATCHES aid
squanders his hariearned money in betting The woman
gives this Of complaint to her husband may
study the game much she please, she will never
accomplish much in the practice Of 1t; she will never
make home
The editor OF Buffalo newspaper recently asked the
subscribers the ten most important inventions
OF ali time. More than 500 received and
the inventions receiving the most votes were the
telegraph printing press steam engine cotton gin tee
aNrin m
telescope and photography Twenty votes were in
OF the steamboat, six for paper, two for time
pieces and only one for the ocean cable
When creek meets then the annual spring
frcshet.- Burlington Free Press
Colonel Jerome b. Fellows is rapidly making a name
as a charitable Within a week he has contributed
$50 to the charity fund the Press Club OF this city
and "a washstand 10 James d. Fish. He alse sent Mr..
Fish soap-dish. But amount OF soap or scrubbng
can cleanse Mr. Fish's reputation.
The new Empress OF China Is named Kan Di. No
DOUBT she VIII Kan Didtte Tor great deal OF tally
from the photographic fraternity Ia this country lhey
have already To extract sweet" puns FROM
her Nance but Kan DIdy, don't think IL very gallant
Tor them to do so.-tNorrlstown Herald.
At first the Oregon Democrats all for rushing to
washlns ton offices. But that they have seen
how the offices given out they have changed their
minds and are taking TO the woods
1t is rumored that Villas is going
institute reform IN postage stamps so the twos can
DO from the ones even IN the darkest night
Tue mucllage on the twos VIII be Favored Win Vanilla
and that the ones with lemon-lopringheld Union.
is said that Ferdinand Ward has turned philosopher
I'm Ludlow street Jail has adopted the maxim that
Time is the great of all evils" This ID IN
doubtedly 30 when Is serving time in prison.
ISN'T HE IN CLovERi
Nice young man In hammock swinging
On baiiny day,
Birds around him blIthely singing
In the sunlight gay.
Stirring languilly above MIN,
Green ana cooling leaves.
With the overhangng branches
Forming graceful caves
Isn't he in clovess
Fair Young maiden sitting near him
Reading from book
While from out the shady woodland
SOUNDS the flowing brook
Clouds OF smoke In wreaths ascending,
Gently ho.t away
A he lies there dreaming, smoking,
In the month OF May.
-lGalveston News.
There Is report that Mr. Parnell Is soon to wed an
American lady We glad to hear it, Even II he is
AN "uucrowned king" he Will honor himself by marry
ing good girl Besides his father did the same
thing
IL is singular fact, says all observer that many OF
the most popular hymns written by persons who
were religious at all. or whose claims TO religion
were based very slight foundations ms explains
why editors do not write hymns-lBoston Courier
The following strange advertisement appears In some
papers: Come IN out OF the cold All persons
d,srous OF being cremated Worcester Gold Bug
Crematorium should apply early Treatment In the
order of application but Untarans ana Epscopalians
preferred Liberal discount to all members OF the
Medical Society and all graduates OF Har-
ward College This Is IA opportunity for ladies ana
gentlemen OF culture. No dead BEATS Methodiss, book
agents or sefeducated persons need apply This Is the
best means yet devised practical application OF tho
doctrne OF the survival OF the 1test Address Mrs.
Agernon Winthrop MONTGOMERY Smith,Junior stokeress
and secretary ess-in-chief
How iunoceny unfortunate is the utter frankness of
childhood. Young OrOtund Desarte, the dramatic
reader taking tea invitation. with the lanIy,
ana in the evening favored the guests with few OF his
most startling reoitatons. He approached by the
midget family larry IN looAs but with an early
development Of speech.
Now. know why you taik 80 Iouu Ehen you speak
pieces" she said to him 49,
"SC,,i1se YOU re a Bollowcutionlst; ma said So"
That child Will be put ~ bed early after this
ford Post
There is said to be alarming Increase of cancer in
England.
The Ancient Order still retains Its position
ma the largest friendly society the world The o,a
stnt,stcs lust completed by Mr. ohawcrUss the perma-
neut secretary that the LIST January last the
order numbered 633 2s5 benefit and 1897 honorary
members These figures show net Increase during last
latter include y bishops 20 peers, Judges and 227
members OF Parliament During last S449 benefit
members joined the order, but 20l3S lef for different
causes and 646s died. On the LIST January the court
funds amounted to rs l9s4i7 and the district FUNDS 20
$685., 74S, making together &3,ooAlOo. The juvenile
sooleos IN connection with ts o a =, 'ss same h uo
5l6A members and Of lOl
in iunds.-lIondon Morning Post