The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1885-10-07
Uncle Everard's LachrymatOry.

MY uncle ENerarQ gilbert was
bachelor of at least fifty years, and the
possessor of peasanter suite of apart
ments than often falls to the lot of
single man. / was his favorite nephew,
and at least two evenings a week /
spent with Uncle Everard in those
cheerful rooms of his. On one occa-
sion, while we sat smoking in his Ii
brary, I noticed on the top of a cabinet
vase | had not observed before.
What is that?'' l asked, pointing
to the object. Something new in the
crockery line you've been buying?"
g 1t is a lachrymatory, Rob, said my
uncle.
81 thought it must be the latest
thing out" | replied, for | never saw
anything like it before"
Latest thing out!' groaned Uncle
Everard. "Why, you young ignora-
mus, that must be two thousand years
old at the very least. My friend De
Witt sent it to me from Rome this
week, and he says it is one of the
identical vases or urns that the Romans
used to keep their tears in"
I" If that is what it is for, you are the
last person to have it, uncle" said l,
laying down my cigar. 9 What does a
Jolly, cneerIuJ man ike YOU WANT WIFI
lachrymatory?"
"To Think unused my uncle, hardly
noticing my remark, " that that old vase
was once full of tears"
"It never will be again while you
have it," said |, carelessly. "Why,
you'll never fill it if you live as long as
the nurse of General Washington"
Him." was my uncle's answer, |
L Il. 4 LII 4.
you think, Rob-"
"I'll find out how much it does hold,
at any rate | answered, getting up
from my chair and removing the lach-
rymatory from its place. Here is
this small bottle that l know holds just
gill;" | went on, and after filling it
with water / poured its contents into
the lachrymatory, but not until l had
repeated this operation was the Roman
relic full. 1t takes just half pint to
fill it," l exclaimed. "What copious
weepers those old Romans must have
beenl"
My uncle laughed, but not with his
usual heartiness, | fancied, and when
my cigar was smoked out l took my
leave.
The next day Uncle Everard met me
on the street and insisted on my going
to his rooms with him.
60 See here, Rob-" he said, when we
had reached the library, and taking
down the lachrymatory he brought it to
me. Look inside, Rob-" he urged.
| did as directed, but could see moth
ing through the small opening in the
vase.
"Don't you see anything ?" said my
uncle, little anXiously.
No." l replied, &c don't observe
anything. What ought l to see here?"
" Tears, of course" returned my
uncle. g Look again"
did so, but as vainly as before.
g assure you there are tears there, -
said Uncle Everard, disappointed at
my failure. 9 The fact is, after you
left me last evening l took up the
Heir of Redcliff to read afew of the
closing chapters and, before l knew it,
Rob-" continued Uncle Everard, "
was crying like child. Just exactly
like child" he repeated. " thought
of the lachrymatory at once" he went
on, " and caught as many of the tears
as / could, but | fear / lost some of
the first ones, they came so suddenly"
l forebore to laugh, for my uncle
was so very much in earnest, and
as gravely as possible / advised him to
put stopper in the lachrymatory, that
its contents might not be lost should
it be accidentally overturned.
A good suggestion, Rob-" was
Uncle Everard's reply; " wonder the
thought had not occurred to me-"
A few days later | went to visit some
friends in another state. and amid the
pleasurable excitement of the visit quite
lost sight of the existence of such dole
full objects as lachrymatories. Soor
after my return | went to my uncle''
rooms and was greeted with enthu
siasm.
81 was wishing you would come
back, Rob. | have been saving VI
some choice cigars for you. Here
help yourself. Wait little, though, ;
he interposed. Herei something
wish you would read aloud first, you
voice just suits me for reading, an(
then well enjoy our cigars together"
He handed me recent magazine ant
/ began reading the article he hat
pointed out to me. 1t was well toll,
tale, which grew very pathetic TOWARD
the close, and felt my voice tremble
little as / read on. To cover the fact
/ coughed with some deliberation ant
was proceeding with the story, whei
Uncle Everard interrupted me.
"Quick, Rob, the lachrymatory!"
/ threw down my book and rushe,
for the cabinet, but unfortunately STUN
bled over hassock and thus lost few
precious moments which, short as the
were, suiliced to dry my uncle's tears
for when / at last handed him the ZACH
rymatory it was too late to be ofservice.
Sand | am sure there were tear
which might just as well have gon
into that lachrymatory, said my uncle
81 for felt them on my cheeks as plat
as / ever felt anything in my life. An
there is all that reading wasted"
"Never mind, Uncle Everard,"
said, trying hard not to laugh, ~
begin the story again."
No." he resumed, wen have on
cigars now"
Over the cigars he grew as cheerfl
as ever, but as the lachrymatory wa
now on the library table beside him
would occasionally happen that his gaz
would rest upon it and he would b,
come momentarily pensive.
io linz ae 1.