River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-02-26
THE BOSS BOY OF THE SCHOOL
Ehe Inconvenience he Experienced from
the "Batten" on the Barn.


Bill Nye
Dear reader, do you remember the
boy of your school who did the heavy
falling through the ice and was always
about to break his neck, but managed
20 live through it all? Do you call to
mind the youth who never allowed any,
body else to fall out of tree or break
his collar bone when he could attend to
L himself?
Every school has to secure the SER
Vices of such boy tefore it can succeed
and so our school had one. When /
entered the school / saw at glance
that the board had neglected to provide
itself with boy whose duty it was to
nearly kill himself every few days in
order to keep up interest, so I applied
Tor the position. / secured it without
any trouble whatever. The board I'M
derstood at once from my bearing that
would succeed. And I did not betray
the trust they had reposed in me.
4. Before the first term was over l had
sried to climb two trees at once, and
had been carried home on a stretcher ;
been pulled out of the river with my
lungs full of water and artificial respira-
zion resorted to; been jerked around
over the north half of the country by q
fractions horse whose halter l
had tied to my leg, and which
Is now three inches longer than
the other; together with various
other little early eccentricities which l
cannot at this moment call to mind. My
parents at last got so that along about 2
o'clock P. NJ. they would look anxiously
out of the window and say: "Isn't it
about time for the boys to get here
with Williams remains? They gen.
orally get here before o'clock"
One day five or six of us were playing
II spy" around our barn. Everybody
knows how to play II spy" One shuts
his eyes and counts 100, for instance,
while the others hide. Then he must
find the rest, and say II spy" so-and-so
and touch the goal" before they do.
If anybody beats him to the goal the
I victim has to "blind" over again.
Well, / knew the ground pretty well,
and could drop twenty feet out of
the barn window and strike on a
/ pile of straw so as to land near
the goal, touch it and let the crowd
in free without getting found out. l
did this several times, and got the
binder, James Bang, pretty mad. At
( ter boy has counted five or six hun
( dred, and worked hard to get in the
crowd, only to get jeered and laughed
at by the boys, he loses his temper. 1t
was so with James Cicero Bang. /
knew he always hated me, and yet |
went on. Finally, in the fifth ballot, /
saw a good chance to slide down and let
the crowd in again as / had done on
former occasions. / slipped out of The
window and down the side of the barn
about two feet, when was detained I'M
avoidablv. There was "batten" on
the barn that was loose at the upper
end. I think was wearing my fathers
! vest on that day, as he was away from
home, and l frequently wore his clothes
when he was absent. Anyhow, the vest
was too large, and when | slid down,
that loose board ran up between the vest
and my person in such way as to sus-
pend me about eighteen feet from the
ground in a prominent but very un-
comfortable position.
remember it quite distinctly. James
G. Bang came around where he could
see me. He said; "spy" Bill Nye and
touch the goal before him." No one
came to remove the barn. No one
seemed to sympathize with me in my
great sorrow and isolation. Every
little while James G. Bang would come
around the corner and say: ooh, / see
We. You needn't think you're out OF
sight up there. / can see you real
plain. You had better come down and
blind can see you up therel"
l tried to unbutton my vest and get
down and lick James, but it was no
use.
1t was very trying time. | can re-
member how / tried to kick myself
loose, but failed. Sometimes l would
kick the barn and sometimes would
kick a large hole IN the horizon finally /
was rescued by aneighbor, who said he
didn't want to see a good barn kicked
into chaos just to save long-legged
boy that wasn't worth over SIX bits.
1t affords me great pleasure to add
that while am looked up 70 and madiy
loved by every one that does not know
me, James C. Bang is the brsvet presi-