Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-03-25
What Happened TO the Opposition.


An immense furniture truck. with
high Slated sides. heavy wheels. and
canvas top, stood at the entrance to
Harlem Bridge Sunday afternoon. A
preoccupied looking mule and an
ancient horse with q perpetual air of
Encouragement about him, were hitchod
to it with nondescript harness.
On the side of the wagon was board
on which was scrawled with charcoal
"Oke Pint"
''Step right up, gents and ladies"
yelled the proprietor cheerfully, settling
his battered white plug hat comforta.
bly, over his right eye, and waving his
arms Hospitality. "Step right up an
patronize Their opposition line fer thor
Pint. This ant no monopoly line.
We're plain, but luxurious. Young
Teller with Their gal! carry yer over fer
five cents head. Cost yer ten cents
by the regler rattle traps"
The "young Teller with Their gal" sur
rendered to the brilliant inducements
offered and mounted the wagon via a
soap-box placed on the ground. Three
tough young men followed; rotund
German, with his stout wife, seven
healthy children and two huge baskets,
were hoisted aboard; more tough young
men followed, and the cheerful pro.
prietor proceeded to hustle them about
and jam them down as il he were de-
posting furniture.
''Step right up" he yelled. This
here lightning spress's bound to be on
time. a"
80, say!" put in passenger, "are
you ever going to startP We're full
Eyes, there's thirty one aboard al.
ready" grunted fat man.
Mr.. Crowley surveyed the strikers
calmly and contemptuously, and re-
marked: "What do yer want fer q
nckelP Want reserved seatsp This
ant no swell taller-ho, this ant. May.
be yer thought yer were charterin' q
'partment in err Palace car"
"Never seen SIGH lot o. kickers,"
muttered the proprietor rs he admins.
tered a kick to his slumbering team.
eyer can bet. this Is the last time this
ERE train starts with only thirty-one pas
sengers. II yer want to ride in limited
'spress, with half load, yer'l have to
pay for it."
The mule took a toe hold, strained,
and pulled the wagon and the old horse
along.
Half way to the Point one of the hind
wheels broke short off at the axle, let
ting the corner of the cart down with
crash that demolished the rear end
and dumped half the passengers in the
dust. The tough young men picked
themselves up and moved to institute
riot. Mr.. Crowley sat impassively up.
on the box and surveyed the wreck.
The mule resumed his Eliminating atti
tude, and the old horse seized upon the
opportunity to go to sleep.
A shade of sadness stole over the pro
prictor's wooden face and he uncon.
sciously sighed: 'trhis knocks the OPP
pysition."
"What are you going to do about
thisP" inquired the fat man dolefully,
sitting up in the road and endeavoring
to take the kinks out of his derby.
"Durned il Iknow how l kin fa
her." answered Mr.. Crowley, referring
to his wagon.
Hang your wagon!' chorused the
tough young men. Chow are we going
to get to Oak Point?"
Mr.. Crowley shifted his hat uneasily,
looked puzzled and hazarded: "Walk'
ms good, gents"
ave paid you for ride" said the
'young feller," whose coat was now
slit up the back. "Give us our money
back or transfer u.s."
Mr.. Crowley jammed his hat onto the
back of his head and replied with some
energy: "Give back nuthin'; yer gettin'
off cheap. Most any other feller' d make
yer pay for the damage. Yer hadn'i
no call ter crowd on so. Any fool d
know wagon couldn't stand thirty.
one passengers. Yer can transfer yer.
selves aboard the monopoly stages"
"It don'd COST Something's moreP'
hesitated the German, CHANGING with
a calculating eye over his numerous
flock.
"Well, you has a cheek! It'll only
cost yer ten cents. Yer don't expect
the opposition ter payit, do yer3"
The tough young men concluded to
walk. The fat German encompassed
economy by picnicing on the grass un'
der tree. The ''feller" reluctantly
hailed one of the monopoly stages,
handed his 'gal'' in and paid twenty
cents.
The last words the fat passenger
heard as he started in a rage to wall
back were: "Durned eff this 'ero don't
knock Their oppysition."-M y Com
.,T