The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-05-09
A Chatham Street Tragedy.

1<tOnludS DdAIef was drunk l3S'
Thursday. THERE'S no question about
it. The policeman caught him in tn,
very act OF attempting to pay for Q
free lunch IN a Chatham Street cellar
and he was immediately arrested. Or
Friday morning Mr.. Baxter presented
a saddened and unwashed face to the
justice.
''Leonidas Baxter?" queried tn,
justice, looking over his glasses at the
prisoner in the box.
eyes, sir,
''Is that your right name ?"
''Ges, sir," responded the prisoner
with dignity. you don't think
would play any tricks on the court ]
hope"
"You are accused of being in a state
of intoxication yesterday afternoon
Policeman Smith arrested YOU OF
Chatham Street. What have you tC
say for YOURSELF"
'"True, your honor. | was intoxi
Gated; but | had an excuse. Listen
before you send me up. | am a res
taurateur by profession. Ionce owned
an eating house on Sixth Avenue; but
| was unfortunate. | could not pay
the rent, and had to move into Bleecke1
Street. Still my bad luck pursued me
and | was obliged to move again
This time | rented room in Chatham
Street. | had very little money, and
it was necessary for me to get quick
returns from my investment. Chatham
Street business methods, | need not
tell your honor, are not what | was
accustomed to; but you know the Ole
maxim, When you are in Jerusalem
do as the Jews do Across the street
from my place is an eating-den kept
by a shock-haired, red-eyed lobster
who, if | might offer the suggestion
ought to be on the island. He has
been my bane, my curse"
Well" interrupted the Justice; 81
am in a hurry, Mr. Baxter"
zone moment longer, your honor,
replied the prisoner, "and am through
Alter had been runEing my plan on,
week, | found that my expenses wer,
S75 and my receipts $17.43. / haC
only 500 left. / had to make a stiI
someway, so | hired a young man
bought him q neat suit OF clothes, anC
started him out with a big placarC
fastened to his coat which read:
81 eat my lunch at Baxter's Palac
restaurant
CAS- he walked up the street, he at
tTacted universal attention, and busi
ness began to pour in. About noon
noticed that it suddenly stopped. On
going out, discovered the cause of tn
trouble. The lobster had seduced m,
sign, filled it Cp with rum. and sta
toned 1t in front of my door. 1t
clothes were covered with mud, ant
its hat was iammed over It's heat
down to the chin. o. course, no on
would come in a place with such ,
sign. That experiment cost me $40
The next day brilliant idea came t,
me, and | hastened to seize upon it
1t was my dernier resort, so to speak
| went to dime museum, and en-
gagged the fat man and the living skele
ton. paid them $50 apiece, my las
cent. put a huge card on the IN
mans back, which read:
81 eat at LeOnidaS Baxter's.'
"And on the thin man Iput anothe
sign:
al don't
"Then | started them down tn
street arm in arm. The effect wa
prodigious Crowds followed in thei
wake. And the populace at once be
gan to inquire: Where is Baxter's
Let us go to this wonderful restau
rant | was in ecstacles of Joy.
contemplated renting the next room
and hiring ten new walters. When
was in the midst of this delirium OF de
light | was again brought face to fac
with despair. From the summit OF m.
prosperity | was hurled into tn
| depths Of ruin. 1t was the work o
the lobster. | waited all morning
with my room full of walters and m,
kitchen crowded with toothsom
viands, but no one came. | say NJ
one-I should make an exception. !
deputy sheriff came in and closed m,
doors. Then, your honor, | took tC
drink to drown my sorrow. But
shall be revenged on the lobster"
what did he do to injure you thi
time? ?" inquired the Justice.
What did he dO?" repeated tn
prisoner. He changed the signs"