Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-31
A HUMOROUS swINDLE.
A Good Man Who Is Now i'm Traable
With the United States for Do.
ing Christian Work Among
Misguided People.

With the United States for Do.
ing Christian Work Among
Misguided People.
A missionary of new type has turned
up among the residents of this city. He
is man of excellent intentions, but he
has an eccentric way of manifesting
them. A long and close observation Of
the methods of professional philanthro-
pists and benevolent societies satisfied
him that their managers often secured
fair living as fruit of their good works.
He could not see any reason why he
should not do likewise, and it is only a
slight difference of opinion between him
and the United States Postoffice authors
ties that prevents Mr.. Israel II. Wood, of
No. 1885 Girard avenue, from still carry
ing on one of the most prosperous
schemes of evangelization yet launched
amid a censorious world. The tale he
gave your correspondent this afternoon is
sad enough to fill midnight mission
with lamentations.
THE FISHER
"You behold victim of unrighteous-
ness" said Mr. Wood. 1.-The postofice
people have the unkindness to call me "a
fraud and "a crank when, as a simple
matter of fact, for more than two years l
have been engaged in noble work
They object to my methods. Well, my
system is an effective one, or it would
not have attracted their attention. Do you
know, 1 believe that my real opponents
are the professional philanthropists who
grow fat off the doing of good to sinners.
l did great good-incalculable good; but
my ways were not theirs, and they perse-
cute me. My occupations gone'-''
What work have you been engaged
in % asked the writer.
In disseminating the Truth-don't
forget to spell it with large IT," re-
joined the religious enthusiast. ~ was
not as good and pure man at one time
as am now. / followed the devil and
knew his ways we'll. Experience taught
me that there was large class of the
wicked who occupied a middle ground
between the totally depraved and the
morally upright. saw that this class
was not reached by any scheme of re-
generation yet devised by man, and I set
for myself the task of appealing to that
particular social class, one of which I had
been myself in the days that were past. /"
THE BAIT.
How did you go about this work ?'
After much deep consideration I
framed the following advertisement,
which inserted in several of the flash
weekly papers that find their patronage
among the very class / wished to reach:
Attention, Sinners IA book that every
sporting man should read; better than any
HIM IS Jr,S L.
and no trash. Price, 90 cents. Sent postage
free, by Wood Co., 1885 Girard ave.
This, felt certain, would attract no
tice,'' continued Mr.. Wood. cit fully
equaled my expectations. Before the end
of week began to receive letters at the
rate of five day. Soon the number in
creased to eighty, then a hundred. I.
was delighted. All letters contained the
stipulated sum. Some of them also had
the stamps for return postage. Core
spondents in Texas and the South for
warded larger sums, and wanted five,
ten and dozen copies. twas bonanza
in the cause of good works. [ sent an
average of hundred books day for
several months. l never felt happier in
my life"
THE BOOK.
"But you have not explained what the
book was. Nothing Objectionable, it is
to be hoped?"
'sNo, indeed. I sent to all the cores
pondents who inclosed money neat copy
of the New Testament 1 bought these
by the hundred of the Bible Society, cor
ner of Seventh and Walnut streets, and
paid $40 per hundred copies"
stVhaf lose fhop oantc for q hOol
that you sold to your patrons for half a
dollar. Wasn't that outrageously dear Pr
"No, think not" was the calm re-
joinder. 'sThe books and postage on a
hundred Testaments cost me So. I re-
ceived $50. That was only net profit of
$40 on every hundred books sent out.
Yout have always heard that it costs $40
to get 81 to the beneficiary? Yes. Well,
you see it can be done cheaper. My adj
vertising costs me $12 week-or, say 81
day-so that the contributors to this
fund for distributing the New Testament
only dispensed four times as much as the
benefaction was worth to them. Don't
you think it was novel idea, this of in
ducing the very class that needs the Cos
pei most to pay for its dissemination?
THE Keeling IN
at looks very much like a swindle,"
rejoined the writer, "though your motive
may have been noble one."
Appreciation appeared to be wholly
lacking among the recipients of the
precious books" continued the misguided
worker in the field of reformation. "You
would be shocked, as I was, were l to
read you some of the replies that came
from my flock of novitiates. Some of
them received the word in silence, and
hope they profted much by it. Others
grew abusive They charged me with
deception and threatened me with
the law. 1 smiled at their threats. Mar
tyrdom was what thirsted after. Others
took another method. They brought my
earnest work to the Office of the Postofice
officials at Washington, and 1 have had
my letters stopped and am under heavy
bonds to appear for trial in the coming
term of the United States courts. Isn't
that shameful? Why, in the two years
that labored in this vineyard planted
over seventeen thousand messengers of
peace. They were as brands to the burn
ing. / did no evil that good might come.
Why, my young Christian friend, | aver
aged three thousand Testaments month
i for some time"
yINDICTIvE FISH.
/ "You spoke 81 the letters you received.
Did they ever express gratitude z" the