Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-16
TIE SAYINGS OF SAN JONES.
what the People 60 oct to Hear

what the People 90 eUt Go Hear.
The following are characteristic re-
marks made by Rev Sam Jones in
his sermons as reported in the Nash
vile papers
Ii you turn over the children of this
country to the homes of the land, nine
out OF ten of them will go to hell.
It's the tide of worldliness that's play
ing upon the homes of this city that's
running it.
/ There's many u big. fat, well-bed
member of the church in this town
who will pull down 200 pounds avoir
dupos, but if he be put on Gods scales
his weight would not be felt. laugh
teri
Suppose your son gets religion,
brother, like you've got it, he'd have
religion with vengence, wouldn't he?
Sister, if your daughter were to get re-
ligion like you've gt& it, wouldn't she
turn over the town.
Nashville is rotten at the top. There's
where she's breaking down. There's
more SIN in the highest circles than in
the lanes and alleys and byways. May
God reform the Judges and Majors and
Colonies in this city. There's not one
in ten of them that's worth killing.
Some OF the best card-players, drink
ers and theater-goers in this city are
members of the church. At the bill
lizard saloons the church members
crowd out the sinners. That's the
sort OF churches you've got
"You old Presbyterian" pointing to
some man in the audience, you stand
out there laughing when it hasn't been
twenty-four hours since you sneaked
in the side door of saloon and took a
drink. You ought to be crying. You
who keep up these things have got
only one more step to take, unless God
arrests you, and that is to hell"
You've got men here you think are
good; but lust take those same men
when they get to New York. My, my,
my! They are as pious as can be
round town, but did you ever go fish
ing with any OF EN-? There's fishing
club in Chattanooga and the members
went out fishing lately and took thir-
teen minnows and fifteen gallons OF
whisky.
There isn't preacher under this
tent but what is better man and a
better preacher than me, but say the
gospel OF Jesus Christ is inadequate to
reach the depths of depravity in this
city, for that gospel hash I been preached
here in its fullness, one or the other.
A voice: "Amenw1 That's two amens.
Laughter prolonged.
These church members are like the
trains on the Nashville & Chattanooga
Railroads-they shed all their light
ahead on their own track and leave a
little, old blue light hanging on the
rear to the sinners cut in the dark.
There are two examples or models
in every town that have bad effect
upon the whole people. One is the
ever he is asked who will go TO church
on Sunday, but who won't pay his
debts. The other is sinner who don't
belong to the church, but who pays
every dollar he owes, gives freely to
charitable purposes and Is generally
respected. The sinner comes along,
looks at the two and says, I'D rather
be that last fellow"
Now, what do you want to be like
airy one of them for? That's what /
want to know.
lam no theologian. Inever studied
theology. despise theology and bot
any, but l do love religion and flowers.
Some of you old church members
are still using the two-wheeled engine,
and the devil is sure to catch you. He
has fixed up his rolling stock, and can
run mile while you are putting on
your boots.
One person says 1 can't keep house
and be religious; the servants are so
provoking. l fear there is sometimes
more religion in the kitchen than in
the balance of the house. Vociferous
laughter.]
There is one meeting 1 think the
devil don't attend, and that is the aver
age city prayer meeting. Idon't think
he regards these meetings as at all
dangerous. They are not worth while
tending.
We Christians license liquor selling
to tighten our taxes, and then stand
around and cuss'em because they sell
it. If half of these MethOdists and
Baptists would quit drinking, the bar
rooms would close up in less than six
Let the spider,legged dudes have
all the fun they can at these hugging
here, for they will find it too
warm to hug while they dance in the
next world they will go to.
Some of the newspapers are trying
to cry me down. II the newspapers
can say any harder things about Inc
than can say about the newspapers,
let them pitch in. This is free
Twelve years ago consecrated my |
self to God, and since that time have |
never had an invitation to ball.
l know whisky men. / used to mix |
md drink with them, and l know no
bigger hearted men in the world. |
AN go to ii whisky man and he will do
ne a favor when not church member
will do 1T for me. But did you know
hat statistics show that nine barkeep-
,rs out of every ten die drunk?
That old colonel, an old cuss, will
av: Its my opinion so-anI So" A
l,zen young men will hear and 20 off
aging: Its my opinion so-and-so."
They get their opinions from the old
'olonel, and he gets his from hell.
There are too few people. wit think
nd too many that have opinions.
| never thought b,rd< sang >weeter
n trees looked green-r after got re-
igion. I have heard old church
members tell of ihcs. things and |
llought what blessed thing Ia have
hat kind of an experience, until r,,;lI
he same sort of an experience in a
'oOk, and now every time hear this
wonder if that fellow has read that
ook
Be honest and pay your debts.
here's too many men in the church
oarding with their wives.
What's culture worth if it's nothing
ut white wash on rascal?
I'd rather be in heaven learning my a
!, b, C's than in hell reading Greek. n
There were some rich men-these g
per centers-who, if they ever got t
J heaven, would not be there three Q
eeks before they would try to buy q
,rner lot to set up money-lending $
lice.
Godey's Lady's Book. v
GoDEY's LADY's BOOK for June has n
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