National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1885-12-26
ALL SORTS.

The sacred white elephant at Maudalay is
dead, probably from grief at the deposition OF
His royal master, though the elephant was
much the nobler brute of the two.
at is absolutely impossible" said Lord Rose
berry in recent address in Scotland, that in
the future war could ever take place between
not be too sure OF that. 1t Is the unexpected
that happens.
A casual glance at our exchanges assures us
ter Of the publication Of the Presidents mes.
sage. IL is pleasant TO note that we have our
peers in American journalism when an emer.
gency, OF this character arises. -lChicago
News.l
An object of public curiosity near New Phila.
delphia, Ohio, is a man who never shears the
wool from his sheep, or plucks his geese, or
"rings" his swine. He says 1t is sinful to inter-
fere with nature, His own hair and beard are
never shorn, nor are his nails cut. We wonder
ifhe never cuts his corns.
"Do you believe in ghostsT asked a Goth.
amite Of citizen of Elizabeth. "Well, not
exactly what do you think Of that alleged
spook in your city," 81 think the appleja,Gk
strong this season." Then they both adjourned
to raise some spirits just for the fun Of It,
New York Journal.
A fable from Life: "a rough and uncouth
Wildhog having fallen in with several shotes
belonging to neighboring Farmer desired TO
initiate their refined manners, and was really
enyous Of the artistic style of their neatly
trimmed ears, SO. on bis return TO the cane
brake, he had his own ears trimmed In pre-
cisely the same fashion. In a few days the
Farmer met the Wildhog, and, recognizing. his
ear mark, had the animal caught and put In
pen, where 1t was duly fattened and then pro-
Moral-It is often profitable, amidst the latest
reiinements of modern life, TO mediate upon
the idyllie simplicity and the piping freedom
of the Golden Age"
The following is reported from Chicago :
"Vernona, darling" cooed Mr.. Bernstein, and
he handed his blushing bride the menu, what
will you order for your repast? With what
delicate yiapds VIII ny o o;Sp precious little
replied the biushing bride, as her flutterlng
heart thumped n symphony of bliss in fiat
~ think win have slice Of broiled ham, a
pork chop Dreaded, and picked pigs foot 9u
Bernsteini and he hung his harp on the will
lows.
A Pittsburg woman who had q house and
lot for sale was visited by a stranger who
wanted the site for a factory. When pressed
days ago was axing 800, but now I'm up to
| 81 900 on indications of a natural gas WELL"
"Where do you nnd them2 Come back here
I'm sinner. Well. thin ii IT. only dead dog,
instead Of a Gas well, I'll drop back to me old
| figures, but in case OF any more shmells afore
|
| legged 10 bob anywhere between four and Six
hundred."-L Wall Street News.l
William Black has introduced Chicago girl
| as the heroine of his latest novel, "White
| Heather" and strange TO say, the Chicago
| papers do not recognize her. She 10 much
| given to slang and talks of ''playing II low
down on pa" though she announces herself as
"a real heightened North Side society lady, and
can behave as sich-when there's anybody
| present." The following talk with her father
| gives a hint as TO her style: Papa, dear" said
she, there's nothing mean about me. There's
many u girl know would play II on her pa,
but I'm not one Of that kind, When have
three kings and a pair" stop It, Carry"
said he, angrily; I'm tired OF your Texas talk
What do you mean" ~ only want to show
my hand" she said, sweetly.
Many are the anecdotes that have beeu pub
lished of tho late John Van Buren,, but the fol
lowing will be new to many; During his
fathers presidential term, Prince John, then
a very young man. INDUCED In many playful
performances that were not altogether u de
light 10 his father. on one of his visits Il
| Washington the prince stopped at Wizards
where his father came, and after n kindly
greeting said: John, / had hoped you would
sometime prove to be n worthy representative
of our family, but fear you never WILL In fact
! am convinced that you will bring disgrace
rather than reflect credit upon It," Father,
said John, ''you may think because you harper
| TO be President OF the United States that yol
are something more than an ordinary man
but permit me to say that you will never b
known In history except as the father OF Johl
Van Buren,