The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-06-20

Illusion OF Wllte. one paoSco y'u w u'''
this snow.white summer vision with the
ripe, red lips and sparkling eyes, and she
9coks lust AS cool as a cake of Newfound
lard ice, while you swelter and perspire
beneath the torrid heat The summer girl
like violet which had been lying under
the snow all winter, now puts forth heI
sweetness, freshness and beauty, and will
blossom during the season, making life a
y,aradise of love to all within her charmed
circle. This is the season when she capt.
vs1es. enamors, and enslaves and makes fel-
lows her footstools and fools. AT the soda
fountain ice.cream saloon and midnight
uicnic, this vision in ileecy white, COO
daring and adventurous, Stays her victims
right and left and signs when there are nc
more to conquer
1t is said that Ed. Lawre, the pool seller,
is making his mark rs postal clerk, and
that no new man ever had better monthly
report. II is, however, to be regretted that
In some unguarded moment he will spoil
this record by putting his head out of the
fzr window AS the train thunders by some
station while he shouts at the top of his
voice: How much am | offered for Ma
rsie NJ. with Will Cody, Big Soap and
Soxy V In the field 80
The inventor Of the noiseless piano for
practising, should be styled the friend of
zsnanity This quality together with its
xhsspness. $50 or $50, should commend 1t
- al beginners. and to some who are not
Te-Einners. too. The noiseless piano Is one
Of s1e greatest inventions of the age and
~ tuven.or is entitled to the blue ribbon
II ever county fair in the United States,
10 he il. His name will be handed down
the corridors OF time as the man who rose
la the nick of time and squelched a blood
-ed revolution.
In me depths of his misery the Streator
Tines man lifts up his voice like unto a
pelican in the wilderness, and cries out ::
Are we not q discontinued LOTT Two
weeks ago we wanted warm weather
VOW we want rain What will we want
aext9' Probably Il postoflice.
fAu illinois farmer was struck dead by
lightning, recently, while putting up pat
. sHt wire clothes line for his wife. This
al ly serve as a warning to husbands not to
ute sere in domestic affairs
~
The following is taken from love story
In the Lockport Phoen'r, and is very
warm reading for this time of year; 1t will
he seen that Edward did all that could be
expected of him under the circumstances ::
a. Edward pressed her to his bosom, gave
xer q lovers parting salutation, promised
soon TO come again and left her satisfied,
raprnmtly stisaed, for his home"
~
The Mendoza Reporter says that the city
ofHeru offered $S5 for the driving park in
that city, which goes to show that either
Peru had but little use for an institution Of
that kind, or that the Reporter man is a
poor authority on parks
49,
There is hard scrabble down In Strea.
Tor, which seems now to I've all tore up over
ahe post office. The general theme of dis
cussion is p. o. matters, and all other ques-
tions sink into utter fnsignificsnce and fade
into nonentity when placed beside this all
devourlng subject. The people are full Of
it; the papers are full of it until miniature
post offices loom up before hundreds Of
prospective appointees, whose visions Of
future prosperity and happiness begin and
sad in this great political alpha and omega.
Everybody down there Is possessed Of a
petition and the way names are sought for
in directories and on street corners Is eau
ton. II does not make the slightest differ.
.ence whether you are Polander, Bohe.
enian, Hungarian, or Australian, down goes
your name just the same to swell the I'm.
mense aggregate. Things are hot, boiling
hot, in that city, and don't you forget it, but
Ii will be all the same just hundred years
hence. t.#at sE.t
1t is said that Ed Nattinger, the newspa.
per man who sp.ead abroad the alligator
aosx to entrap the feebleminded, has com.
missioned his ally In the scheme, Wilson,
% start for the Teche country and secure
living specimen Of this saurian, ship l,
secretly to Ottawa and plant the monster in
the Illinois river here. To head off this
.strocious scheme Of yillainy Of ruthless