Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-06-06

Purely vesetahle No eririne Price Csc All prueessa
"Why, Sam and Bill Boggs have bee,
stealing horses in Kansas. Bill was cap
tured and is to be tried for it, but San
was shot and killed while running from
the sheriff"
"You don't say so! Well, am glac
Sam was lied. knew them boys.
am glad Sam did not survive, for he wa
very high toned, and it would have al
most killed him to have had his brothe
convicted of stealing. He was to sensi
tive, Sam was-he had to much family
pride to succeed in rough frontier con
try"
There is only one thing sadder than
death, and that is seat in theatre be-
hind four story hat-Boston Post.
The daughter of New York million
alre has applied for divorce on the
ground that her husband basely deceived
her. He assured her that he was a
coachman, but since marrying him she
has discovered that be was only an ed
itor. We didn't suppose there was such
brand of heartless villainy abroad in
the land.-Norristow Herald.
An Oakland obituary notice referred
deceased citizen as having "gone to
happier home" The woman is about
bringing libel suit. These Oakland
women are too sensitive for anything
San Francisco Post
"Yseult Dudleyp called the court
"Jesnite Dudley!' shouted the clerk Re
suit Dudley" yelled the tipstaff. ''Yazoo
Dudley" cried the gate keeper. Insult
Dudley" howled the deputy. assault
Dudley" shrieked the prison matron,
and soft voice was heard saying: "Did
anyone call Yirselt Dudley?"-Piasburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
The telephone in doctors office in
Brooklyn rang one afternoon and was
answered by the doctors wife. After
the usual "hellos" from both parties the
stranger inquired if the doctor was in,
and being told NO." said he would cali
and see him. "Who are you?" queried
the lady. "Who am l? Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Why, can't you smell my breath?' was
the response.-N. Y. Tribune.
Straight WHISTLES make crooked roads:
Fall River Advance.
Many New York resolutions are like
some secrets-"too good to keep."-Low-
ell Citizen.
If there is anything on earth that is
worse than dunken printer, it is two
drunken printers.-Bloomington Eye.
There's girl that is fairer than day,
And by Jinks can see her sIar;
I'd call on that girl right away,
f'twas not for her hOrrid old pa.
-GOr]tana Mouataineer.
The young couple who before marriage
thought they could live on love are now
living on corn bread and hominy.-Ken-
tucky State Journal.
A man never realizes how little his !
word is worth till he receives black |
eye, and attempts to explain how he |
came by it.-Boston Courier.
A New York paper says: "The dead
Gen. Barrios owns a house in New |
York" Wonder if he will use it as a |
or Summer resort-Brooklyn |
Times
Little Clara was taken with sudden
but not serious illness mamma" she
said, edo you think l shall get WELL"
Mother: Of course you will, darling.
Clara: don't think shall, mamma, and
[ guess it's best shouldn't. Being un-
der five, perhaps could get into heaven
for half fare.-Bos.on Transcript.
Mrs. Brindle's face became as variega-
ted as the complexion of circus horse
when one of her boarders told her he
ould take his piebald-Y onkers Gazette.
Give the roller rink its due. 1t is sort
Of an escape valve by which lots of per-
sons avoid being sent to the idiot or lun-
atic asylum-Detroa Free Press.
Bubby stubbed his toe and came in
crying to his mother. "There, there,
Bubby," she said, after she ascertained
hat the injury was triaing, "you are too
pig boy to cry over little thing like
hat" "B-but what a-am I to do, NAM
ma p he asked sobbing; Il amt b-big
enough to s-sware-"- Reheb0th Herald.
Gentlemen" said an auctioneer, with
rue pathos: "If my father and mother
TODD where you stand, and did not buy
his stew pan, this elegant stew pan,
.oing ut 81, should feel it my bounden
luty as son to tell both of them they
we're false to their country, and false to
San francisco Argonaut.
A new fire arm has been invented in
france which can be discharged thirty
lines minute. Every one fighting 81
luel with it requires two seconds.-&.
Paul Herald.