Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1885-04-02
Spoopendyke's Pie.
JUST AS his MOTHER USED TO MAKE THEM.
SARCASTIC OBSERVATIONS BY MRS. sPooPEN-
DYKE


"My dear, said Mr.. Spoopendyke. fold
ing his nankin and pushing his chair back
from the table. "my dear. YOU are a pret,y
good housekeeper. and once in a while YOU
con,riye to cook up a fair meal. bu, YOU have
no business fooling around a mince pie,
There never was hut one woman who could
make miuce pie. aud tha, was m, mother"
Il THOUGHT this was NICE returned Mrs.
Spoop.ndyke with ;us, a little aoiyer of
her lip. Il got it out OF the cook book"
"And you'd better put it right be ok in the
book as a warning to other amateurs" con.
,inued Mr.. Spoopendyke. II don't say tha,
this is especially bad. only it doesn't NEE,
with all the requirements Of bic as ,hey were
instiled into my Young mind. You nigh,
work it on founding hospitsls that never
had any mother. but i, hasn't the soul |
used 10 get out OF pie when lived a,
home"
"How did YOUR mother make the mince
pies. dear ?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke. "E
| knew what she used. perhsps | could pc,
up one of which YOU would eat six slices in
stead Of four" And with this purely fem
inine dig. Mrs. Spoopendyke looked mod
estly downward. and began folding knife
plea,ings in the table cloth.
Come" exclaimed Mr.. spoopendyke.
Jumping impe,uouslv from his chair. "T
you've got the ingredients IN show YOU how
TO make pie that will draw hovls Of envy
from the neishbofs," and Mr.. Spoopend,ke
led the way TO the kitchen. Where's YOUR
chopning tray and the apples Fetch me the
hand gui!lotine and the beef, Look alive
nov. my dear. and we'll Startle the world
with some revelations on The abs,ruse sub
iect Of minee pies :"
.I.e, me pn, this big towel around your
neck. 20 Won won't grease your clothes
suggested Mrs. Spoopend,ke. dragging out
a huge crash towel
What's tha, for ?" demanded her hus-
band. contemplating il with no amount of
favor. (Which end of the PIE is tina, thing
supposed 10 have influence w.tho If make
% nv mind when get through that this
bic wants To be shaved I'll put on this skirt
but IN the meantime want room for all my
limbs. Now" he continued, a. he dumped
the beef and apples into the tray and went
a, them vigorously With the choppinc knife
"now YOU watch the proceedings and note
how this PIE begins to assume proportions"
didn't YOUR mother peel the apples be-
fore she chnpned them ?" asked Mrs. Spoop
endyke quietly
.Eh - CALCULATED Mr.. Spoopendyke. slow.
inr IN and looking into The ,ray d,strus,fuI-
ly. "Of course not" and he resumed IN.
lab5gs with s,iu more energy. "If YOU did
there's where you made mistake. sup
pose ,au peeled the beef too. didn't yot,
Though don't know" and he stoppe! short
and regarded ms work atteu,iyrly. III
strikes me this meat would chpD finer If
some one had dronnei a nile driver on il
once or twice ANYWAY you don't want
your meat too ine. and | guess this viii
Do" and Nr. Sooopendyke .e, the tray fun
Of lanps on the lablr and rolled On hi.
sleeves.
What vii YOU have now, dear ?" inquir-
ed hi, wife. tendcrlv.
"So;ne aour and ater. REPLIED Mr.. Spoop.
rpd,kc ch.erily. ali. M. crust II A ~.
that i It's genius. and | am going 10 rarn
on, .lab of pastry that viii be a monu.
nent 10 ,h.. artist uho !. uea,inr hi. ioh.
Gimme the -four and water. While feel As
one upon vhom the ,piri. Of successful
pie rest, yl.jbly ="
Ms. Spaopcndyke brought o,I, the mate
Ma. and oace more resumed the relation Of
nun.. !. H.. rxrrr;,ex
. aAn,,h,n. ,l,s. Jr,ro. Il. a.kra =, N,
So.,ntn0yke wet down bis a.ur mad ANN
cd h,, i'll. in,n m, rssi,
Nothing bn, prof ,und silence" rrtprted
n.r husband .rh4 ohi.f tronbI. with tho
rro., If ,nnr ~. i tb,, I'm alan yonr At.
,eatio, t3 hs distracted fr,, !, !, H. cri,;.
cal non.o, AN tn. .,n,,,ry viii .,,,
l.xt,.. III. o,.,-o,, n, ,h., ,,,;n',. ,,aa,
.i,,t =, iha ..ronJ Al, !, r.,rh.s a,k ,,.s."
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