The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-08-06

the Boston and Albany Railroad, if
you take the morning express, there are
two parlor cars thereunto attached, with
all the appurtenances thereunto apper-
tanning, including porter with wisp
broom in one hand and place for a
quarter in the other. Now these two
parlor cars are twins, different only, as
is the case with twins, in their names.
The last time went out that way, one
of these cars was Gov. Hawley, and the
other was "'T'other Gov'nor," l don't
remember who.
Advent well until we reached Spring
field. There the usual halt of five or
ten minutes was made, the parlor car
for Albany was switched off to its proper
train and we went laundering on to
Hartford.
Before we were out of the depot an
old gentleman confronted me-round
faced, well-dressed, quick-spoken,
little crusty and with a general air of
authority about him.
Young man" he said, sharply, "out
of that"
"Out of which? ?" said, in innocent
surprise.
Out of that chair" snapped the old
party. "Come, be lively; 1 want to sit
down."
was puzzled and annoyed and STAN
mered something about this being a
parlor car and
"Yes, yes," he said, impatiently, II
know all about that; this is a parlor
car, and you've got my seat. Get up
and get out of it without any more
| - IS
where and don't go around appropriate
ing other peoples chairs when they've
gone for lunch. Get out, young
fellow"
1 am naturally a very meek man, but
did make one more desperate effort
to retain my seat. i said 1 had occu-
pied that seat
"Ever since got out of it at Spring
field" snarled the old man. Il rode
in that seat all the way from Boston,
and the minute / left it you jumped
into it. And now you jump out of it,
and no more words about it, or I'll
make the car full of trouble for YOU"
1t began to dawn on me- then just
how matters stood. In fact 1 knew,
but 1 was nettled. Everybody in the
car was laughing at me, and L do hate
to be laughed at. / determined to
wait for my sure revenge. 1 said !;
you'll be sorry if you TAX this chair. I"
He snorted fiercely, and / abdicated
without another word in favor of the
testy old jumper of claims who thus
summary evicted me. L arose, gath
cred up my hat, overcoat, lap, tablet,
newspapers, book, big valise, little
valise and arctics, and thus burdened
walked meekly to the rear of the car
and sat down on the meanest, poorest,
most uncomfortable seat in the whole
train, the upholstered bench under the
big mirror. The woodbox In the
smoking car is an easy chair in COM
parison with that bench. By and by
the chair grabber called out:
young man, where is that little red
handbag 1 left here?"
l meekly said, Il have not touched
it., and he roared out that it was there
when took the chair. But just then
the conductor came along and glanced
at his ticket while the old party explain
ed how 1 had made way with his. little
red handbag. "That young man back
there" he explained, "was in my chair
when returned, and my overshoes and
little red handbag are"
Conductor, brisk, taciturn man,
full of his own business, here handed
back the old partys ticket.
wrong train," he said, brusquely.
"Get off at next station. This train
for Hartford and New York"
The old gentleman's face was study.
~For Ha-Ha-wha-w hatp he shouted.
II know better! Told me at Boston
this car went through to Albany"
@Lem' see parlor car ticket" said the
conductor, briefly. "Yes, that's all
right, you're on wrong car; this tickets
for the other car. Your baggage half
way { Albany by this time. Get off at
Hartford"
"Well. when can 1 get train back to
Springfield walled the jumper of
chairs.
"T'-night," said the conductor, and
passed on to the next car.
Then arose. j gathered up in my
weak and long suffering arms, my hat,
overcoat, lap tablet, newspapers,
book, big valise, little valise and arctics,
and walked back to that chair and
stood before the most crest-fallen man
| the llnulOTtdl SouS cNtI pi1icu. uuh Y
make gesture; just stood up before
him, holding my goods, personal effects
and railway chattels in my arms and
looked at him. He arose and vamoosed
the claim. And as settled down in
my recovered possession 1 made only
one remark. / said to the poor old
gentleman:
Il told you you'd be sorry if you took
this chair"
And he marched back and took seat
on the upholstered bench, to the merry
laughter of the happy passengers, and
the last time L looked around, oh,
browning woe, the conductor was max
ing him pay quarter for his seat in
the parlor carr. j. B1trdette, IN Bur-
HnGton Haickeye.
Condiments and Indigestion.
Cayenne pepper may be selected as a
typical example of condiment prop
eriv so called. Mustard is food and