New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-10-28
The Humor Of a co1ored Bishop.

Washington Special: There were some
funny scenes in the colored Methodist con-
ference held here. Bishop Horsley opened
the meeting with a speech. "HoW dry and
cold you are was his opening remark.
That's personal" exclaimed clergyman
in a back seat. Whereupon the bishop ex-
planned:
"You do not pray and shout enough .
he said. '"rhe angles shout and are not
ashamed. Why, people will come ten miles
Z to hear a shout, while they won't move an
inch to hear long, dry sermon. know
one minister who is ashamed to carry a
ham through the streets to his wife. He
looks just like spider-legged dude. That
isnotmy idea OF a minister. We have in
the church more rakes than forks"
The bishop in speaking OF the general
conference which is to meet soon, said that
he supposed that another bishop would be
wished that they had never been elected,
. as their duties we're not easy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a
crown" he continued, SIS as true in eccle-
siastic affairs as in worldly affairs. am
making these remarks in order to discour-
age any OF you who intend to be bishops"
''You'can't do that very soon, bishop"
remarked brother, and the rest OF the
: conference smiled approval to this asser-
ton OF their ambition. The bishop then
went on to say:
In this city the brethren think that their
: churches are the best. their women the hand
soonest and their affairs the most important
in the conference buttne want OF wife will
ruin almost any man. It is bound to give
them dyspepsia or the govt. am afraid
thatt brother who you say is anxious
to get married is in a fair way to get the
govt. There is no use in one trying to get
along in this world by ones self. Tt cam t
be done. go
A professor dressed in an oriental cos
! tune was introduced and said he was a
native OF the Fiji Islands and had eaten
human flesh many a time. He said it tasted
like mules, flesh, sweet like.
The Land Department Heading off Land
Sharks.
1t is stated at the general land office in
Washington, that under the present prac-
tice OF that office, when the public lands
within a township are opened to entry
through the filing OF plats of survey, there
is a rush of spectators and land grabbers,
who often succeeded in securing the
best lands to the great injury OF bona
fide settlers. Moreover, this class
OF persons is able frequently to
learn Wnen Lne plauS OF survey are to be re-
ceived IN advance OF the settlers, who were
thereby placed at a disadvantage, Tocor-
rect this abuse as far as possible, the COM
missioner OF the land office has issued the
following Instructions to local land Offices:
Hereafter, when an approved plat OF the
survey OF any township is transmitted to
you by the surveyor general, you will not
regard such plat as officially received at
and filed in your office, till the following
regulations have been complied with:
First will forthwith post a notice
in a conspicuous place in your office, speci-
Tying the township that has been surveyed,
and stating that the plat or survey will be
filed inyour office on a day to be fixed by
you and announced in the notice, which
shall be not less than thirty days from the
date OF such notice, and that on and after
such day you will be prepared to receive
applications for the entry OF lands in such
township.
Second-You will also send a copy Of
such notice to the postmaster rs of the post
offices nearest the land, and acopy to each
clerk OF a court OF record in your district,
with a request that the same be conspic-
uously posted in their Offices
Third-You will furnish the public press
in your district with copies of such notice
as matter OF news. d
Fourth-You will give such further pub
LEFTY OF the matter in answer to injuries (for
which you will charge no fee) and other
wise as you may be able to- without in
curing advertising expenses.