Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-08-31
A cHINAMAN IN TROUBLE.
He Abuses Religious Editor, and is
Snitten Hip and Thigh.

4AC &AOQ1Eo a NC1kkl0QS E~01tCIy anu 10
Smitten Hip and Thigh.
The religious editor of the New
Orleans States was in a mellow mood,
as he stood in front of the Office, and
gRzed sadly up and down the street.
he had paid several visits to q sus-
picieps locker near bis desk, aud in
eensequence he felt asif be would
ike to convert the whole human race,
and lead them into the straight aud
aarrow path. While 10 this frame of
mind a Chinaman, who had been
celebrating the defeat of the French
IN Tonquin, came down the street
drunk as lord, and very happy.
The religious editor thought be saw
@ehauce to sow good seed, and he
Stopped the celestial and said
Ny friend. it pains me beyond
measure to see you following course
which leads to eternal misery and
damnation.
Who you cussee" replied the
Cainaman in belligerent tone; "who
y.n bluffee. Say, young fellee, | be-
loag to de gangee. and me no likee
talkee me no get haid you bet me. /"
But listen, my friend, you"
F'You go hellee, / waut no talkee
win big chumpee like you, and me
knock outee you eye. HooIay, for
Chinee man. Whoopee hoolay,
CEinee man whippee Flench alice
time likee pic-nickee. Hoolay /! Ne
20 down townee and whispee Flench.
Me dance bad man and me no flaid
fghtee; me waif from Brittleee cleek
Dance Fiench Dance Milican man
Dance alice bodice Whoopee hoclay!
Me full as goatee, and don't care
dance centee.n v
"Oh. my friend, do not thus revile
your brother man. Think of your
poor soul, and turn your thoughts to
heaven and repent ere it is too late.
Remember that even if you repent at
the eleventh hour, yet shall you be
savel, and your sins be washed
away
"0h, givee me restee. Me no
washee sincee me washee collee and
shirtEe. Say, Charlee, come takee
dlink, and me whippee Flench like
hellee. Flench no fghtee littlee bit.
Chinee man heapee blave. Makee
good slodee. and likee fghtee alice
time. You bet Chinee man is big
daisee, and don't you aogetce. Come,
Cbarlee, and me takee dlink, and go
oownee town and clean outee Flench.
Whoopee hoolay | lie no buy ratee. .
"No. my dear sis; fighting is not
my trade" said the religious editor
with sigh, land it grieves me be-
yond measure to see you crazed by
liquor and cursing upon the public
highway. Let me labor with you,
and direct your mind to-
"Whatee you givee me ~ replied
the Chinaman angrily, ''you nc
goodee, you dance old haud you; &c
ightee woman
do not throw heaps of abuee upon
my bead, thou foul-mouthed heathen, ;
exclaimed the religious editor, "fol
though I'm butan humble servant o
the Lord, yet will / become wrathfu
and punch thy head until it is ex-
ceediug sore. Yea, thou drunken
pagan, | wilt smash thy nose anc
scrub thy back in the slime of The
gutter. I'm slow to anger, bu'
mighty in my wrath, and il tbot
again apply to me those vile epithets
will hurl my foot against the sea
of thy trousers with wondrous pow,
err
You dance old beatee," howleC
the amazed Chinaman, who under
stood enough of the religious editors
remark to imagine that be was re
ceiving . cursing, "you makee bluffee
you dance old Aaud.r
"At last you have goaded me be
yond the limits Of Christian humil
| ity," yelled the religious editor, 'anC
now / shall grid up my Ioins anC
smite thee from head to foot, thor
filthy heather. Thou shalt have sores
on thee even as Job did, ere finisl
pounding thy hide.n and the mex
moment the religious editor had ths
Chinaman's heels up ia the air, and
was humping his head against th.
sidewalk. and kicking him in ths
back with both feet.
After he had beaten tho Celestia
until be could not howl, the religion:
editor dropped him, and in COMPANY
with the court reporter went upstairs
and again visited the suspicious look.
er, and as The two touched glasses
the religious editor remarked sadly
am as lamb in the sight Of the
Lord, Jet His enemies shall not over
whelm me.
Miss Mary d Tillotson, the noted
dress reformer, bas written al Affect