The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-03-21
THE SMART STATION AGENT.
Through Mail.l

There IS something about the agent at a country railway station that excites both my admiration and my pity.
 When go to the station for the pur- pose of taking a train and find hinr sit- ting with heels cooked up on the table by the telegraph instrument and his head bowed down upon his breast with the great weight of responsibility that rests upon him-when he starts, as if he had been shocked by some of the current events that are flashing along the wires and looks pained because he is not privi- legged to communicate them to an anxious world-when he rises and yawns and goes to the ticket-window to communi- cate to some waiting wayfarer the bur supposed to be full to overhowing, l ad- mire him.
 When boarding school comes in to embark for home at vacation time, pity him. About forty girls chattering like magpies and drowning the voice of the telegraph with their gabble, is more than any station agent can bear when he is getting train orders, and pity him from the profoupdest aorta of my heart. once knew fair young man whose life was one great gob of good promise. He had lied himself into prominence in the community, and the people had come to believe that one day, he would be one of the most highly respected ad- vocates at the bar or occupants of the sanctum. When he was mere babe, the old ladies said the Lord had evil dently intended him for the ministry, but when he got to wandering away with other peoples horses and playing poker, they reluctantly admitted their error and ceased to anticipate that his life would be devoted to piloting sinners to the skies. They then unanimously decided that he was destined to be foremost among the barristers and other law evading things, but in the very prime of his promise, he became supe in rail- way station and began learning tele- graphy.
 His fluent and graceful style of pre- varication soon won for him the esteem and confidence of his superior, and in due time, the latter could go out on vacant lot near the depot ard pitch horse-shoes with full assurance that the business of the office would be properly attended to and the con6ding public kept waiting seven hours after supper time when the train was ten hours late, under the impression that it would be on hand in twenty minutes. The young man applied himself assiduously to his work of self.education and soon became proficient. One day, when he had ac- quired the requisite knowledge and con- hdence to run the road, which was about four months after be first entered the office, he sent the following message to the train dispatcher, who called his sta tion to give orders:
 "Agent playing mumble-peg four blocks away. Shall receive P. R. O." Of course he was instructed to receive, as if there were any delay train would soon rush by the station and go crashing into the rear end of another which had broken down between that station and the next. He did well, snd that evening he received an order dismissing his superior and ap- pointing him to fill the vacancy. He was young and inexperienced, however, and in due time, he arose to the sublime height of utter contempt for the public. He strutted about like a sultan and laughed at the anxiety of the people to know when they might expect to get away from the village he seemed to own. When knowledge was wanted, he was more ignorant than Galatea fore Pyg- malion got mashed on her, and when no flood of intellectual effervescence was de- sired, knowledge seemed to fall from his lips like bricks from an overturned bod. He seemed to be master of the situation, and all the complaints of indignant ship pers and the pleadings of long suffer- ing people could not shake him from his impregnable abode in tue heart of the management.
 One day, a gentleman who was man. aging editor of cattle ranch in Colorado came to the station. He made certain inquiries concerning the running oftrains which the agent was not prompt and obliging in answering, and the cow-gen- eral spoke of him in terms that were not remarkable for their freedom from in- uendo. The young man replied in his customarily concise style, and in about fraction of a second, the atmosphere of the room was saturated with smoke, noise and an odor of burned powder.
 The next day, his perforated remains were placed in black walnut box and hauled away to the village burying eiounu, anu tnStS tney now He, JolnlnS their kindred dust and enjoying the other privileges and compliments of the sea- son, while there is a meek and lowly young man with four revolvers and a look of unutterable woe concealed about his person looking after the affairs of the railroad in that village. The cow-com- mander has been acquitted of any evil intent, and carries in his hip pocket set of handsomely engrossed resolutions of coincidence and profound respect.
 To posfro sfera