Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-05-22
A rRw WORDS TO GIRLS.


the minds of the girls that the chief end of
woman is not to marry young"
If girls could only be brought TO believe
that their chances for a happy marriage
were better after twenty-five than before,
there would be less misery in the world
than there now is. To be sure they might
not have so many opportunities to marry
after that age as before, but as they do
not need to marry but one at Il time, it is
necessary that one should be satisfactory.
As u girl grows older, if she thinks at all,
she certainly would become more capable
of Judging what would make her happy
tlan when younger.
How many girls of twenty would think
of accepting the man they would gladly
have married at sixteen At thirty II
woman who is somewhat independent,
and not over ANXIOUS to marry, Is much
harder to please and more careful in her
choice than one of twenty. There is good
reason for this. Her mind has improved
with her years, and she now looks beyond
mere appearances in Judging of men.
She is apt to ask if this man who is so
very polite in company, is really kind
hearted DO his polite actions spring
from IL happy, genial nature or is his at
tractive dcmeanor put ON for the occasion,
and laid oil at home as he lays off his
/ coat
a very young girl takes it for granted
lldl men are ttlN dN = ITS size SttS lltil Ill
society, polite, friendly, and on their good
behavior. III she marres early in life the
one who happens to please her fancy, she
| learns to her sor: ow that in nine cases
ont of ten II man in society and Il man at
home are widely different beings Five
years at that period of life produce great
change III opinions and feelings We fire.
qucutly come to detest at twenty-five what
we admired at sixteen. We advance from
the tally candy and peanut age to the era
of Gum-drups and narlon glaces, and even
iii later years lose our warnings for these
dainlics. At sixteen, the LCdgCrand Mrs
SOuthWorth are the delight of girls
heart, and she fairly revtls in the love af-
fairs ct the most beautiful of women with
the most heroic of men, while their hair
breadth escapes thrill her heart, and their
SORROWS bring tears to her eyes. AS she
grows Older, if she develops ut all, that
style of reading gradually loses its charm
and she finds satisfaction in something
more solid, till at length her taste has
changed entirely, and useful and inStruc-
tive works form the staple of her reading.
OF course she continues TO read novels,
but she prefers those of Il different and
grander class than she pursued with such
exquisite delight ut sixteen.
Similar changes take place in the moral
and spiritual nature. Why should we feel
the same towards persons III after lite,
when we have learned to distinguish be-
tween the false and true, the bad and
good, amy more than we should like dime
novels after we have become acquainted
! with Dickens Thackery and Shakespeare
/ How few comparatively of the schoolgirl
/ friendships extend into later life. How
few of our companions i'll society do we
love is well after twenty years have passed.
How few even of our own brothers and
sisters, III whom we do not see faults we
could wish eradcated. Considering this,
how is it possible for one to feel surprise
when Il couple who marry i'll their teens
/ grow to love each other less rs years roll
10y ? When both grow alike, whether 1t be
rapidly or slowly, forward or backward.
there Is some hope OF their ever seeing
each other with the same eyes : but when
| one progresses and the other rttrOgrades,
adherence springs up between them, and
in time one looks down upon the other
with Il feeling OF superiority, perhaps uu
confessed, but still there; Wlllle the other,
unable to perceive the real cause of the
trouble, grow at length to dislike what
was once loved And thus 1t happens
that those who loved at sixteen are i'll
different at twenty-five and sometimes di-
vorced at thirty. This trouble would new
er occur ii very early marriages were
frowned upon II dispositions, tastes and
circumstances were consulted instead of
mere passing fancy, and girls were en-
Outraged to wait till their minds were
more lnatured and they saw life with Il
clear vision. If later marriages We're
from marrying at all but 1t would
be to those whom 1t were best should
never marry-for instance, the SLACK and
thriftless, the coarse, the gossip, the ter
magent or the scUld. Those VINO have The
elements of unhappineSs within them,
and VINO care not to eradicate them,
would then be discovered, for such things,
like weeds, II LETT to grow, discover them
selves III time.
one great cause of early marriages is
remains unmarried until twenty live an
'old maid TINS is done by many well,
meaning but thUughtlesS persons, who
would dc sorry to THINK that any act or
expression OF theirs had ever caused an
hour of misery yet this very dread of
being Calicd an "uld maid has driven
! more women into marriage and Il lifelong
misery than any other tulng excepting
perhaps poverty. a girl, young, sensitive,
unused 10 the rough ways OF the world,
Sh1nks from having any stigma cast upon
her. When she first hears herself called
an "old maid it is IA revelation and she
falls under 1t as II it We're a blow. She
! feels as II 1t were an imputatlon upon her
! character III some way and though she
may try to laugh IT OIL the wound is
there, and testers and corrodes till the life
that was once happy AS BIRDS has now Il
skeleton, which she thinks can only be re
moved by marriage. 1t is IL mistake to
think that single lie is any less noble than
marriage, especially II the spirit OF dlscord
is permitted to inhlct its horrors upon Il
whole household.
Let mothers treasure their daughters
more seek to learn their inmost feelings
in kind and sympathetic way; win their
love and confidence by showing that they
have hearts, were once girls and often
made mistakes. A girl who has her moth
er for Il contidant Is not SO anxious To
leave the shelter of her home to take "the
leap in the dark" For what is it but Il
leap III the dark "a species OF slavery to
one-half the women who marry. How
many women can truly say, We must
not expect too much in this life, and VITA
Il little sigh let the question drop.
Were it not for the illusion That Seems
inseparable from the mind of youth, there
would be probably few marriages com
paratively. If they saw it rs it is saw it
with rational eyes, with the glamor of ro-
nance brushed away, in all its naked
truthfulness, many would be apt to say,
81 would be worse oil than am now. 1t
is better to bear my burden alone than to