The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-05-09
A HINT TO CLERGYMEN.

l A HINT TO CLERGYMEN.
 There was meeting of the congrega tiQn of the Blue Light Colored Taberna- cle, to devise means to pay of the church debt. All the usual devices to coax the dollar from the pocket of the public were suggested, but none appeared feasible, when Uncle Nose asked leave to make a suggestion. He was permitted to do so
 "Childruns," said the old man sol emnly, "hain't none ob you eber had a milk cow?"
 Several said they had owned COWS.
 "Didnt hit nebber occur ter yer dat de more you milks a COW, de more milk yer gets ? Hain't hit CT fact ef yer neg lects ter milk de COW, she gifts out ob de habit of lettin' down, and bimeby she quits gibbin' milk altogether Yer mus take up yer kullecshuns free times on Sundays, and go round on week days wid list, and dat dar may be no mistake I'll tend to de kellecshuns myself"
 Parson Bledso and Deacon Snoderass made short speeches, impeaching the purity of Uncle Moses motives, so he withdrew indignantly from the caucus.
 There is nothing that demands states manship of high order as much as the driving ot COW with young calf to any particular place. Two Dallas colored men undertook job of this character yesterday, and although they gave the matter their careful attention, the result was very far from satisfactory to anybody except the COW, which seemed to enjoy it very much. Sam and Bill were to get dollar to take the COW and calf and put them in the yard of the owner, MT. Thomas Carlyle, who lives at the south end of Elm street. After trying in vain to get the COW to understand in which di- rection they preferred she should go, Sam and Bill called cabinet meeting, at which the following campaign plan was agreed upon Sam was to take up the calf in his arms and go ahead, while Bill was to hold the COW back by the rope which was fastened to her horns.
 "Ef she goes too fast" said Bill, "rll jest hold her back"
 "And ef she don't follow fast enough, I'll jest twist de calfs .ail, and den she will come right along," said Sam.
 Sam took up the calf and went ahead, while Bill. in order to get real good hold, tied the rope around his wrist. The procession proceeded slowly in the de- sired direction, and would have reached its destination in safety had not Satan tempted Bill to get off joke on Sam, so he called out:
 "Sam, jest twist dat calfs tail"
 Sam did so, and the calf bleated as if it was opposed to an encore to the per formance.
 The old COW began to trot. So did Sam, holding on to the calf as if he had stolen it. Then the fun began. For every once in while the COW would pol ish her horns in the ceiling of Sam's pants. Bill could not get his hands out of the rope, and, as he had short legs, he had hard work keeping up with the procession. or rather in not letting go. He ran so fast that the kinks in his wool straightened out. Finally he gasped:
 "Sam, ontwist dat caf's tail"
 Sam's legs moved so rapidly that they looked like the spokes of buggy, but he called back:
 Look out dar, niggah, don't let go dat rope. de cows gainin' on me"
 "Drap de caf, Sam," called poer Bill, whose arm was coming out of its socket. !" Drap de cal, for can't keep up wid de GOV. Go slow, niggah, or I'll turn de