The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-05-15

Detroit Free Press.

Guild pusson. in Texas informin' us dat
he has named his baby Brudder Gard
ner Holdback. 1 presume it am a boy
baby, though it may be a gal. De
writer fatters hisself dat he has done
q smart thing, an dat de fucher of dat
chile will be plain sailin'. If anybody
wants to name his offspring arter me or
Sir Isaac Walpole, or Giveadam Jones,
or Judge Cadaver, we can't hinder, but
so fur as / ar personally consarned l
want to indulge in a few remarks in re-
gard to dis habit.
II verify believe dat de foolishness of
sartin parents in tyin' names to DER off
springs has beclouded an wrecked
many lives. De ole man who was
shovelin' snow mex doah to me de cd
der day was named Henry Clay. It
was on the ideah dat he would make a
mighty smart man, but de mint he got
old huff to realize who an what Clay
was he pulled right back. He couldn't
nebber git dar', an he knowed it. In
bUSuu IL DOll dNllltSSGS ho llSLlIl Sld1s
e~berybody calls him Hank Dirt an
he's gwine to be called dat till de clay
kivers his coffin. .
"Some vars ago a naybur o mine
named his baby Washington Lincoln
Grant Smith He war bound to fill
dat boy chock full O. military genius an
craftsmanship, but de chile wasn't TO-
vars ole befo' he realized dat it was too
steep. He hadn't reached ten befo' he
was a thief an a liar, an de odder day
he went to prison for burglary. De
name was too long fur de public to
grapple wild, an so he was called Wash
Grant Later on it got to be Wash
board an by de name of dashboard
Smith he am registered on de prison
books. D
"I has seen Prime Minister Jones
drawn a swill cart AROUND, while clus
Behind him, leading Z y&ller dog by a
piece Of old clothes-line, came Mont
morenci Stubbins. l has seen Queen
Cathrine Bivens at de wash tub, while
de Princess BienvilIe was a. hangin' out
de clothes fur her. l has witewashed
on de same job wild Car Jackson. an l
has BACKED stoves alonside of George
de Fo'th Bones. f.
"De white folks'am jist as bad, an it
really does me good to see by de papers
dat 'Hortense Victoria Clark has skip
ped out wild DE Lisle Fitzhue Brown
who was a professional roller skater
loafer on a salary of So per week.
Ebery day de police Judge am sendin'
Zachariah Chambers, Roscoe Conk-
lings, Thomas Jefferson and Henry w.
Longfellows to de jug, an cherry day de
good old names of Jane an Bessey an
Sarah an Emma an Lucy am CROWN
in contempt wild de female sect.
''Speakin' fur de GUILD Iace a one, Is y
dat de fadder who rises above Moses or
Samuel or William when huntin' fur a
name fur his baby boy am coaxin' biles
and bunions to grow whar' dey doan'
need to. De mudder who can't make a
selection from Chloe, Catherine, Violet
an Sarah Jane needn't feel riled if her
gal runs off wild a b~owlegged stove
blacker an eands up her days in a gar
ret. Let us nov attack de regIar pur-
ceedin's.S ~ 80
ad. DIDN'T RESOLVE.
Waydown Bebee begged TO offer q
resolution asking the Legislature of
Michigan to enact q law to more fully
carry ont the provision of the Civil
Rights bill, as applicable to the colored
population of this State.
fHas yon bin denied any of Your
rights lately, Brudder Bebee?" asked
the President,
IT can't say as i has, sab, but / has
heard complaints from Guild men dat
aey hain't treated as good as white
people"
Name a few
II has been told dey can't stop at first
class hotels, an dey am not wanted at
roller Kinks" reno
HBrudder Bebee, kin you tell my why
any Guild man should want to pay $4
a day to stop at a fust- class hotel kept
by i white man an frequented by tony
white folkses, when he kin be made to
home at a house kept by a Guild mar
fur de benefit Of Guild people, at one
quarter de prics?n
"Not 'zactly, sah.n
"Do you know why any respectable
Guild pusson should want TO frow away
his time an money wheelin' hisself
round an round a rink ~patronized by
silly gals, soft-headed women an evil
minded men?"
"No. sah."
Neither do /. 1t would be much
mo- to his credit to go out an pound
show. Your resolushun am decided no
cause for ackshun, an you will at once
sot down. De laws Of dis kentry am
big 'nuff to gin cherry man in it, no
matter what his race or cutler, ell de
rights he kin take keer off, 4es
u Q --~--
The silver Dollars.