davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Cure for piles.

Piles are frequently preceded by
a sense of weight in the back, loins
and lower part ofthe abdomen, caus-
ing the patient to suppose he has
some affection of the kidneys or
neighboring organs. At times,
symptoms OF indigestion are present,
as fiatulency, uneasiness of the stom-
ach, ect. A moisture, like perspira-
ton, producing very disagreeable
itching, after getting warm, is a COM
mon attendant. Blind, Bleeding and
Itching Piles yield at once to the ap-
plication OF DR.. Bosan KOS Pile Rem
edy, which acts directly upon the
parts affected absorbing the Tumors
allaying the intense itching, and eff
fecting permanent cure. Price sc
cents. Address, The DR.. Bosankc
Medicine Co., Piqua, O. Sold BY
G. n. BOYD, Druggist, Somerset
Pa dec.3-1y.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Losr in Harrisburg
Ben. Perley Poore. the well-know

Ben. Perley Poore, the well-known
Washington correspondent, contrib
uted "reminiscences of President Lin
coin TO Yesterdays Philadelphia
Press, from which the following ex-
tract concerning an adventure in
Harrisburg is taken:
Mr.. Lincoln gave a cordial greet
ing to me when | called on him af-
ter his arrival at Willard's Hotel,
and he indulged in some pleasant
"reminiscences of his Congressional
career. OF course | talked to hlm
about his forthcoming message, and,
after having made me promise that
what be told me should not go into
print, he gave me an. account of it.
He had written it at his Springfield
home, and had it put in type by his
friend, the local printer. A number
of sentences had been reconstructed
several times before they were en-.
tirely satisfactory, and then four
copies had been printed on foolscap
paper. These copies had been lock-
ed up in what Mr.. Lincoln called
a "gripsack," and entrusted to bis
eldest son, Robert. when we ar
rived al Harrisburg" said Mr. Lin
coin, "and had washed up, asked
Bob where the message was, and
was taken aback by the confession
that in the excitement caused by the
enthusiastic reception he believed
be had left waiter take the grip
sack. My heart went up into my
mouth and | started down stairs,
where | was told that if a waiter had
taken my gripsack / should prob
ably find it in the baggage room.
Going there / saw a large pile OF
gripsacks and other baggage and i
thought / discovered mine. My key
fitted it, but on opening it there
was nothing inside but few paper
collars and a flask of whiskey. A
few moments afterward I came
across my gripsack, With the docu-
ment all right, and now | will show
it to you, OH your honor, mind y
'rhe inaugural was printed in clear
sized type. and wherever Mr.. Lin
coin thought that paragraph would
make an impression upon his audi
ence DE had preceded it with 4 typo
graphical fist, viz: B2-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
sherman sal, .s Ii.


The Republican meeting held in
Cincinnati was the most remarkable
manifestation of popular interest ev-
er witnessed there. 1t exceeded IN
numbers the Blaine meeting of last
wear. Thousands could not enter
the great Music Hall in which it was
held. The public desire was to hear
Senator John Sherman discuss the
new form OF inequality caused by
the Southern frauds. He stuck 10 his
text and among other things said:
What did Judge Hoadly say
when he was called upon to face
his great indictment Of the Demo
cratic party? He said Sherman
was waving the bloody shirt." The
only ''bloody shirt" / waved was
the declaration / now repeat-that
the Democratic party Of the South
has disfranchised by fraud and vio-
lence the entire population Of the
whole Southern States in effect and
besides that has established sys-
ten of ostracism and terror by
which these colored and white Re
publicans dare not bold up their
heads amongst them. Where was
the bloody shirt in that. 4 don't
see it. But Governor went on, and
be waved the bloody shirt." He
commenced by saying that ] had
called attention-which | had not
to the bloody graves scattered all
over the South, and the rebel prison
pens. which be graphically described,
and all ths. sort of thing. He said
1 tried to call attention TO these
things only to avoid a discussion OF
the temperance question.
When | meet III argument, II my
opponent don't meet me fairly and
squarely, / pull him up to the bull-
ring and hold him to the issue if |
can. [Applausel | say now that
no Democrat in Hamilton county
dare take issue on this question.
These people have been deprived OF
their rights. And that is not all.
They have not only been deprived
Of their rights. but these men, Dem
ocrats of the South, are now exer-
cislng political power based up
on the six millions of colored
people scattered over the South.
There are thirtv-eight members OF
Congress and thirty-eight electoral
votes assigned under the Ccnstitu-
ton TO these six millions of colored
people in the South; but they man
age matters there so that these col
ored people have no right TO vote.
They are deprived of their votes, and
then these Southern Democrats vote
all this vast political power them
selves; and by that means alone
Grover Cleveland is now President
of the United States [applausel and
but for this erroneous crime James
G. Blaine would now be our Presi-
dent [renewed applausel and John
A. Logan would he our Vice Presi-
dent. Wha. answer do they make
TO this indictment? The bloody
SHIRT
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Rock Boring by Diamonds.

The diamond is now largely used
as tool end for boring hard rocks,
and works economically. effectively,
and is also indestrnctibie. At first
sight it would seem a costly meth
cd; but such is not the case, consid-
ering that steel chisel was spoiled
for every inch bored in hard rock
while forming the Mont Gents tun-
mel ACROSS the Alps, ON the railway
between France and Italy. The di-
amond is the hardest known body
in nature. consequently nothing but
a blow can injure il, direct wear of
its surface being impossible, except
bs means of diamond powder.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Sufferers from the effects of qui.
nine, used as remedy for chills and
fever, will appreciate Ayers Ague
cure, powerful tonic bitters COM
posed wholly of vegetable substan.
ces, without a particle of any nox-
ious drug. Its action is peculiar,
prompt and powerful, breaking up
the chill, curing the fever and expel-
ling the poison from the system, yet
leaving no harmful or unpleasant ct
feet upon the patient.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

The rneaus used in planting corn
in the semi arid Kansas belt enables
that region to raise good crops Of
the great fattening grain Of the Uni
ted States. 1t is done by means ofthe
listing pillow, which throws the soil
into high ridges, the middles being
deeply pulverized in addition. In
the trenches the corn is planted
down in the permanently moist soil
of the trenches, these being filed up
in the process of cultivation. This
trench. is ploxed, is V-shapped, and
sixtnee inches deep. Until the corn
gets strong, an inverted trough coy-
ers the rows as cultivator passes,
preventing the plows from rolling
the soil over the plants. When the
corn is ready for the second cultiva-
ton the trough is laid aside. The
showers are set to throw the earth
to the corn plants, now strong and
two feet tall, and they are also set
to take the ground deeply. This
cultivator throws almost all the
earth into the trench that the lister
threw out. The weeps are deeply
buried. The surface of the field is
level. The main roots of the corn
plants are at least ten inches below
the surface of the ground and how
much further they have sunk into
the rich, damp, underlying ground,
no ole knows. But now 40 ordln-
ary drought affects the plants. The
not southwest winds can blow, the
mercury can raise until the integri-
ty of the thermometer is threatened
the sun can course across a cloud
less SKY for weeks, but the cora
leaves do not roll. The plats thrive
and, if soaking rain falls between
tie middle of June and the middle
of July, the listed corn will make q
full crop.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Trimming Down a Boys Tongue.

Some months ago William Sur
ber, OF Wabash. Indiana, noticed
that the tongue of his son was be-
ccming abnormally large, but did
not report the case to a physician
till day or so ago, when the tongue
had increased to double its natural
size, protruded from the lips in a
disgusting manner. and rendered il
impossible for the boy to take nu-
triment, save in liquid form. The
swollen tongue also interfered with
respiration, and the physicians, as a
last resort, determined to trim the
organ down, though the operation
is very dangerous. The reduction
was successfully effected III a few
devs
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Education Pays.

Most Of the walters of the states
are colored college students from
Howard university, Washington.
My waiter told me this morning
that he had finished geometry and
mathematics, Livy, Caesar. and Vir-
gil in Latin, and the Anabasis in
Greek.
The other day at dinner Professor
Henry, of Harvard college, was
scanning line of Virgil's hexameter
to illustrate the meter to a rich bus
iness friend who had not read the
classics.
Longfellow's Evangeline and
Virgil's epics." said the professor,
were written in the same hexame-
ter Now the first line of Virgil is
scanned like this: Armgyirum-
que
Why, / declare" be said, hesi-
tating, I've forgotten the old flmil-
lar words"
Shall | give them to you?" ask
ed the waiter, politely.
You?" asked the professor, in
aSlonishment.
Yes, sir" said the black man.
They are Arma virumque cano,
Troj9 qui primus ab oris."
Great gunsr' exclaimed the
business millionaire, "where did
you learn Latin y
At college, sir" said the waiter
When the rich man fund out all
the poor negro's acquirements and
ambition aad poverty he asked him
how much il cost him a ga: at Har.
ward University.
1t costs s130 a year, and I've got
three years to co."
Well, here" he said, "is $500
You can keep the change, and when
you get through come and see Ma
thaniel Ruggles in Dodge City
Kansas
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

How young old people look who
have never been seriously sick, and
who never worry and fret. How old
young people look who fret and stew
and suffer pain-all at once. But
we can't altogether help our disposi-
ton, and we will sometimes get out
of sorts in spite of all our caution.
Then we need the best, the simplest
and the safest medicine known, which
is Dr. Kennedy's Favorite Remedy.
Purifes the blood and renews vital
ity in old and Young.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
How Deacon Jones Fell.

Over in Mahoning county, Ohio,
lived Deacon Jones, a very staid,
dignifed sort of Christian, and a
perfect model of propriety. Deacon
Jones had the misfortune to lose his
wife, and at the age Of forty, found
himself with a fortune and several
small children, without 3 mistress
to his farmhouse. As he could not
Immediately take another wife and
escape scandal. and could not
get anyone to take charge Of the kit
chen and nursery, he had recourse
TO employing young woman as
housemaid. Nancy Stearns was a
laughing, romping, beauty, who de-
lighted in experimenting on the
Deacon, by way Of testing the
strength of human nature but at
last, in a moment of unguarded
weakness, he was led into tempta-
ton, in committing slight indis-
cretion with his beautiful housemaid.
When in his wonted GOODNESS and
presence of mind, be was Mortified
at the enormity Of his sin. In vain
he repented and grieved over his
lost virtue. Finally, as last resert
for easing his conscience, at the con-
clusion of the service on the follow
ing Sabbath morning he arose and
requested the forbearsnce of the
brethren and sisters a few minutes,
when he electrified them by making
The following confession:
"My Christian friends, you all
know that I lost my dear wife some
time ago, (sobs and tears, and that
Nancy Stearns has been keeping
house for noe, and you know that |
have child not year old. Well,
that little child would cry in the
night, and it would be a long time
before l could quiet it; and on last
Tuesday night-God forgive me
the child cried so hard that Nancy
arose and came into the room, and
leaned over the bed to hush the poor
child and brothers and sisters, her
leaning over me made me forget
Christ"
Hereupon the worthy deacon
broke down entirely and stood weep
ing and blowing his nose.
"What did you do?" sternly de-
manded the minister.
T-I-I-ki-ki-kissed her "
stammered out the deacon, between
his sobs; but | have been very sor-
ry about it. and prayed to be forgiv-
en-; and | want you to forgive and
pray for me, my brothers and sis
tersi"
AS the deacon bowed himself up
on his seat, like the mighty oak be-
fore thetornado, Deacon Goodfellow
arose and astonished the audience
still more by saying:
Brothers and sisters, you have
heard what Brother Jones has said,
and now he wants our forgiveness.
For my own part, / think Brother
JOKES Is truly penitent, and i am
willing to forgive him with ali my
heart. And, brothers and sisters.
will add still further, that if | had
no wife, and a pretty girl like Nancy
Stearns should come TO my room
and lean over me I'd kiss her and
abide by the consequences
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

A measurement of Jumbo after
death showed these dimensions:
Circumference of fore leg, 5 feet 5
inches; around front foot, 5 feet 6
inches; twice around his foot is
about his height, viz, II feet length
of trunk, Z feet A inches; around his
tusk. l foot 81 inches ; length of fore
leg. ) feet. 1t is said he was, like all
elephants, afraid of rats. and that the
only other things that he seemed to
dread were cats and mice. His dai-
~ proven der consisted of 400 pounds
of hay, one barrel of potatoes and .
bushel of onions. The skeleton will
be set up in the Smithsonian Insti-
tnta
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
A Model Wife,

Jones was well aware that his wife
was in the habit of ritling his pock-
cts when be was asleep, but, like a
wise man, be kept silent on the sub
ject. One night, however, he woke
up and caught her in the act.
"Ha" he exclaimed, what are
you doing. my dear?"
The lady started, her cheeks flush
ed, the pantaloons fell to the floor,
and she was about to make full
confession when a bright idea enter
ed her head. Recovering herself she
said
81 was looking to see whether
your clothes needed any buttons"
They do, they do, my DEAR" he
exclaimed, springing from the bed,
needed 'em for weeks and months,
and ] wondered why you didn't
sew 'em on, but | waited. for | was
sure you would get to it some time.
And how kind, to get oct of bed
at this time of night to attend to
'em. Say what you will, there's moth
ing like a good wife. Let me turn
up the gas a little, SOS you'll haye
all the light you want in sewing 'em
on. Got your needle and thread
and the buttons ? No. Well, tel
me where they are and I'll get 'em
for you"
Mrs. Jones proceeded to sew on
the buttons while her husband sat
on the side of the bed and encour-
aged her with words of praise on
her wifely care and thought for his
comfort, occasionally remarking that
90 where he would he would always
say there was nothing in the world
like a good wife.
Then he went TO the wardrobe
and brought out several pairs of
pants, two or three coats and vests,
and number of shirts, from all of
which buttons were missing, and
cheerfully observed
While we are at it we'll make
night of it,
Two hours later when Mrs. Jones,
with a weary sigh, removed the
thimble from her finger, Sir. Jones
patted her on the cheek and said:
Il say it again, my dear. | say it
again, that wherever | go | will
make il kuown, proclaim it from the
honsetops, shout it in the highways
aud byways, that wife vino gets
up in the middle OF the night to
sew buttons on her husbands clothes
is a priceless treasure, a crown to
her husband, and an ornament to
her sex"
Then Mr. Jones, chuckling to
himself. lay calmly down and slept
the sleep of the Just.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

"The ladies especially go into &C.
stacies over Parker's Hair Balsam," p"
writes Mr.. J. H. Decker, druggist, of
Findlay, Ohio. "They say it is the
most elegant dressing they ever u.s.
ed Stops falling hair, restores col
or, promotes growth.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Rose Cold and Hay Fever.

Are types of catarrh having pecul-
lar symptoms. They are attended
by an inflamed condition of the lin
ing membrane of the nostrils, tear
ducts and throat, affecting the lungs.
An acrid mucus is secreted, the dis
charge is accompanied with burn
ing sensation. There are severe
spasms of sneezing, frequent attacks
of headache, watery and infiamed
eyes. Ely's Cream Balm is a RENE
dy founded on a correct diagnosis of
diseases and can be depended upon,
80 cents at druggists, or by mail.
Send for circular. Ely Bros, Drug
gist. Owego, N. Y.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
4 never patronize natent me,

Il never patronize patent medi-
cines. Don't you? Why not? You
patronize patent" articles of hun
dred varieties-why not patent med
icines. Because they are often
worthless" True, but not always.
Frequently they are the very best in
the world, representing the widest
experience. AT least we know that
DR.. Kennedy's Favorite Remedy is
one of these. and for all troubles of
the blood, liver and urinary organs
it stands on its merits, and not on
advertising.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Women are everywhere using and
recommending farker's' Tonic be.
cause they have learned from expe-
rience that it speedily overcomes
dependency, indigestion, pain OF
weakness in the back or kidneys,
and other troubles peculiar to the
cpy
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Thousands walk the earth to-day
who would be sleeping in its bosom
but for the timely use of Downs
Elixir. Guaranteed to cure or mon-
ey refunded. For Sale by C. N.
Boyd, the Druggist, Somerset, Pa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

my daughter has taken the med
icine faithfully. according to direc-
tons, and her health and spirits are
now perfect. The humor is all gone
from her face. / wish every anx-
ious mother might know what a
blessing Ayers Sarsaparilla is in
such cases"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Try II Yourself.

The proof of the pudding is not in
chewing the string. but in having an
opportunity to try the article your
self. c. n. Boyd. the Druggist. has
free trial bottle of DR.. Bosanko's
Cough and Lung Syrup. for each
one who is afflicted with coughs,
colds, consumption or any lung af-
fection. riA
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Short stature in Gen. Sheridan is
caused by his legs. A friend saws
that the gallant Phil is not sensitive
on the subject: A girl came for bis
and General Sherman's autographs
in her album, aud they wrote their
names. She was not content, for
she had set her heart on a verse of
Sheridan's Ride y in his own hand
writing. This he declined to grant.
Then she began to question him
about that famous piece of eques-
trianism. Now, General Sherman.
she at length asked, turning in pret-
ty desperation to him, What do
you imagine General Sheridan said
on mounting bis steed?" "Well, /
really don't know" was the response,
with a quizzical glance down at the
legs of his fellow officer. but NAV
be he said to his orderly, Shorten
these stirrup straps "
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

For mild cathartic and fficient
tonic. use B,xter's Mandrak Ike Bitters.
Every bottle warranted. For Sale
by G. n Bryd.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

A man 10 Osceola, Mich, has
three daughters, all of whom are
mutes. He is probably the cham.
pion dumb bell raiser of the world.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Livery stable keepers shonld al
ways keep Arnica and Oil Liniment
in the stable, nothing like it for
horses. For Sale by c. N. Boyd,
Somerset, Pa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

For every man killed in the war
ten have been sent over the gulf by
he aid of the corkscrew.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Getting at the Fact.

Kosciusco Murphy recently pass
ed his examination. and is now
q member of the Austin bar. His
strong card is in getting the truth
out of a witness. The following is a
sample of his system of examina-
tion:
'Are you a married mani"
mo, sir; am a bachelor"
"Will you please tell the court
and jury how long you have been a
bachelor, and what were the circum-
stances that induced you to become
one?"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Arnica d Oil Liniment is equally
good for man and beast. 25 and 30
cents per bottle. For sale by e. N,
Boyd.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
"Roaxh On Pain Poroused Plaster;

three or four hours every night coughing. Get
immediate relief and sound rest by using Wells
Rough on Coughs kroches, l6:. Balsam, 2sc.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

1t is not the man who thumps the
bar the hardest that has the most
money to pay for his drinks.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
SONG.

1t was with doubt and trembling
whispered IN her ear
Oh. take her ANSWER, bonny bird.
That all the world will hear.
Sing II, sing 1t, silver throat.
Upsn the wayward tree,
How fair she is, how true she Is.
and h,w she loveth nae
Sing II, sing IT, silver throat,
And sll tie summer long
The other blris shall envy you
For knowing such songl
Lord HoHeAfor.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Pretty women.

Instant relief for Neuralgia, Toothache, Face
ache. Ask for Rough on Toothaeke." Is and 25c.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Stick To ii, as the fly paper OBJ
served to the Ay.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

An old man doesn't catch on quite
so quick as young one, but he
hangs on enough to make it up.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Guns are only human, after all.
They will kick when the load be-
comes too heavy.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Rough on Itch cures humors, eruptions, ring
worm, letter. salt rheum, frosted feet, chilblains.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
:. Rough ON Toothsche.' -

you are losing your grip on life, try Wells
Health Renewer." Goes direct to weak spots.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
" ROuYh ON Ilch."

Hacking, irritating Coughs, Colds, Sore Throat,
cured by Rough on Coughs" Troches, l5c.
Liquid, Zoe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

A Frenchman likes his betrothed
to be in dot-age.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
Me.hers,

and the many Throat Affections Of children,
promptly pleasantly, and safely relieved BY
Rough on Coughs-" Troches, l5c. Bslsam, 25c.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07
wide Awake.

Children, slow in development, puny. scrawny,
md delicate, use wells Health REMOVER"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Ladies who would retain freshness and viyacity,
don't fail to try Wells Health Renever."
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Another triumph of modern sci
ence. A firm advertises Artificial
flower boys wanted"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

Making crazy quilts is the proper
work for bedlamites.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-10-07

A charity entertainment is gener-
sllj 6 poor show.