Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-12-27
The BROWSING LOCOMOTIVE.

4.a.A 3 sun
Well, II you had been where was last
night you would De just as cross as l am,
said man to his wife, who had told him
he needn't be so cross, when he said the
breakfast pancakes were too thick, and toe
sour and too tough,
oh, don't know, said the wife as she
told the girl to put some more baking pow
der in the pancake batter and little water
to thin 1t. You were on sleeping Car
last night, and you always sleep better than
you do At home.
y es | sleep we'll enough when the cars
are moving, but we got into the depot from
s.. Paul at three a. m, and when the cars
stopped | woke up. | wanted to sleep uu-
Ill morniny as the cars stopped here, and
AMI so | rolled over to 90 to sleep. IL was
5uSt as Iuiet as death around the depot,
until switch engine began to monkey
around switching cars. Did you ever try
% sleep when an old COW with bell on was
browsing around the street, or in a garden
Then you know how It is. That switch
engine would be heard away up in the
ysri halt d mile away, ringing her bell like
\ COW ui55Gug cabbage, then she would
work up nearer and could hear her
chss. chew and snort as though she had
swallowed q turuip and got choked Then
-hs would hitch on to car or two, and
move away. would get a little nearer
asleep when she would come back slowly,
then stop and blow her whistle, as a COW
would below, and | couldn't get it out OF
my mind that it was COW. found my.
set dreaming about going down into the
the pasture bsretOoted, 10 drive up drove
OF locomotives TO be MIXED. had them
surrounded, and their COW cRtchers Sll
pointed toward the COW yard on the old
farm, and they would stick their heads out
sideways 10 n,bbls grass, and | would yell
at them and one ugly old locomotive with
one ho7u would turn and run into brindle
locomotive aud she would run away of in
the woods, and | would have to go after
her. When | had got her back into the
road all the rest Of the locomotives were
a-ung. one was pAwiOg the ground aud
believing another running her horns into
the ground and throwing dirt over her back
while others we're rearing up aud hooking.
and actin rust Ike lot OF cattle The
oulg one that had sense Was the old bell
locomotive. and she started right along
towards the house as soon aS came oul
OF the woods and the rest Reluctantly fol
I5-ed /, pas hard work 10 get the whole
drove c. locomotives through the gate OF
the old yarn yard, in mY sleep because
some uOuId block the way of others, but
finally the hired msn began to set out the
pals OF sicp aud bran aa-h, and The loco
motive With the bell on ran into the bran
mash. aud then the hired girls came ont
NTH milk pals and stools and told the To-
como,ives 10 hoist, and then they sat
down right 5y the tender and pretty soon |
heard the milk from the locomotives stream.
ing iuto tue tin pals and the girls said, so
BOSS, and went to sleep. Say, pass them
pancakes.
Well. | declare. said the man wife. as
she passed hin the cakes, and pushed the
maple syrup towards him, "you must have
been drinking. It does not seem to me that
Z cane man COU.l lG.AglLc all tuSi hluu OF
foolJshness even if he was half asleap. 4
locomotive is ajou, as much like COW as
you are ike al angel.
What do you think; said the old man,
as be emp;ied the syrup over his cakes
When / woke up tnis morning and raised
the curtain and looked out OF the window,
there was that locomotive on Q sidetrsck
right beside the sleeper, and the engineer
Vas 7; mt down under it with an oil can,
as. where | let, the hired girls in my
dream. bat there was no pail Of Stops no
oareioo,ed BOY. no nothing but an old man
ia a small box.s;ail trying TO put on his
pants behind o curtain, with woman in
The berth over hiu calling the porter to
bring 3 fire escape so she could get down,
aud she had no shoes or stockings on, and
her corset was one Of those old fashioned
ones such as you used to wear, mother, at
the time Lincoln was elected, and her
arms were bare clear 10 her shoulders and
there we're dimpIes in her elbows, and
Hush, you old fool. No wonder you
couldn't sleep, and the family arose from
the table as one man.