The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-10-22
THE MERRY SIDE!
Hoadly "iied a Democrat"

Mr.. Foraker, will you please tell us whether
you are "for" or "against?"
IS.
The last heard of Hoadly, he had moved TO
Glandorf
What they need in Cincinnati is more shot
guns and fewer bummers.
+.+
In the fight between God and George Hoadly,
George came out behind-decidedIy
-
The Democracy of scioto county should go
over and crawl down The gas we'll.
1t rained all day, election-day. But the DEM
ocrats got out. They We're dry enough.
The Democrats in Southern Ohio went on a
"stin hunt 1t was awful still. Never heard
from.
"The eagle scars !" exclams Republican pa
per. "But not as sores we are !" replies DEM
ocrat.
Well, we told them so! We told Hoadly and
Allen o. Myers, long time ago, to dam their
mouths.
The Democrats hung on by the eyebrows un-
til they pulled out by the roots. But they had
to go at last.
Barney Burns, of Cincinnati, got drunk and
was found dead. "Barney burnsr' exclaimed
those who found him.
The Democracy made one great omission.
They should have brought Sam. Jones to Ohio
during the campaign.
IF Won want tn see John Mclean. Won will
have to wait until the Republican party gets
up. 1t is sitting on him.
-
The people of Southern Ohio should catch
Democrat and stuff him. There's danger of the
race becoming extinct in this region.
The Democrats were not satisfied with the
iciness of John Sherman. They got him hot
and were swamped as result.
A Cincinnati paper reported Dan. ]. Ryan, of
Scioto, ain doubt" What can man with over
a thousand majority be in doubt about?
"Stand back, dad, and watch me choke the
varmint ~ said the Democratic kid to the moss
back, as he leaped into the jaws of the alliga-
tor.
Hoadly is good lawyer, but finds no consola-
ton in the declaration that possession is nine
points of law" 10. Foraker has gotten out pa
pers of ejectment.
The Columbus Dispatch says "Ohio is the
cynosure of politicians eyes all over the coun-
try" We say it isn't. It's cyn-o-sure Repub-
lican victory.
Virginia recently had an earthquake. and the
shock was felt long ways. Hoadly thinks he
felt the shock here-at least there was a "mighty
rumblin'"
They have blind fish out in Oregon. Well,
they have them in Ohio. We've 1shed for
hours among fish that couldn't the bait al
all-at least they didn't bite it.
If Sam. Reynolds had gotten his card printed
the Portsmouth papers little sooner. Gre sg
would have been elected by aecama,ion.
Robeil Farrell, at Carlisle, Ky. was SENTENCED
70 ne PeIiLsntisry for ninety-nine years. H's
friends We're really fearful that they would send
hi,n up for life.
The reporters Complained thai Hoa,!lg
'wSuidut talk" after the eIectlon. Whit cooid
he say =? He had already talked too much be-
fore the election.
Ho adly argued in his debates that it was not
wrons to get drunk. The overjoyed Republi-
cans must not take this good doctrine, how
ever.
The Columbus Journal makes fling at the
father of Democracy by publishing the portrait
of the Devil and labelling it Allen o. Myers.
"Theres no Democratic blood on that shirt :"
said Major Mckinley. Then, dear Major, what
is it ON the Democratic shirt? There's some
thing-we1l swearit! What is it. Major?
1t is amusing to hear our Democrotic friends
abusing the Cleveland administration for the
result in Ohio. Why, friends, it was the Ohio
Democracy, not the Washington Democracy.
that did it.
The man who is marching some poor fellow
up TO the polls, and has him taken away by a
worker for the other side, will swear there is
corruption in politics, every time.
In Buffalo, N. Y, five men were indicted for
Conspiracy against an Oil Company" Why,
nearly the whole State of Ohio conspired
against an Oil Company, last week-and cleaned
it out, too.
Lawrence county defeated a man named
Jones, for Sheriff. That's right! No man by
Democratic ticket. Every Jones on the Repub-
lican ticket was elected.
The defeated politician is now trying to in
vent a new oath which will fit the case of the
man who promised upon his soul and honor,
in spite of Democracy and high water, to vote
for that candidate.
"Grandma," said little Jane, "the Democrats
up street have got Doodle"
"Good Lord, child, your papaIl git it, sure
And to think we've lived through measles and
chicken-pox, only to come to this at last.
The Enquirer discovered scheme to give the
Democratic soldiers in the Dayton Home croton
OIL the morning of the election. The En-
quirer evidently thinks that is the way to be-
fuddle Democrats brain.
tTh1s plan of turning out the offensive parti-
| sans" said Jackson man, doesn't work to
the benefit of the Democrats-they turned one
out of the Postoffice, and we turned two out of
| the Court House. We're one ahead, SO far
Rev. Sam. Jones says he don't believe in the
| theory that preacher only has to open his
| mouth and the Lord will fill it. Sam. SAYS 1.-The
| only thing He will fill it with is wtnd.'' And
| eve, body who has heard Sam. Will agree with
| him.
Senator Thurman, on the night before the
| election, i'll public speech, ADVISED the Demo.
Gratis tn .'drInk if you want to, but don't drln K
| to" much" But hey drank too much-ot that
kind of talk.
A young married man of Jackson laid to his
| wife on election night: IF com home afte1
| while, ana kiss you, you may know that the
| Republicans victorious. If 1 come home
and saw nothing, we're gone" The man got SC
much excited that he didn't go home till nearly
| daylight.
| Little Boy to Father.-"Pa, what makes you
run around and act so funny on election nightP'
| "Father.-'Why, enthusiasm, of course, my
son."
Little Boy to Mother.-"Ma, what makes Pa
|