The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-12-18
VOL. XXX---NO. 81.
VARIETIES.

AS the blossom is wrapped up in the
Seed so is a mans success wrapped up in
mself
--"How greedy you are" said one little
girl to another who had taken the best apple
in the dish"I wanted that apple"
"A man troubled with insomnia and
help mate that 81 ores make combination
it would trouble human misery to beat.
"A modern philosopher says that "women
who excite the greatest love are often ugly"
They are also generally rich, he could have
added.
| The first petition that we are to make to
Almighty God is for good conscience, the
second for health of mind, and then of
body.
-Doctor--"Now tell me, Colonel, how do
you feel when you've killed man p Colonel
-"Oh, very well, thank you, doctor ; how do
| you %
| "A subscriber asks whether it is proper
TO kiss baby. This depends as much upon
| the subscriber as upon the baby. Some men
| ought never to kiss anything.
Time is always represented carrying
scythe, and we suppose he will continue to
carry this primitive agricultural implement
| until time SHALL be no mower.
Imitation may be the sincerest flattery,
! as the maxim AYERS, but don't risk an mita.
| ton sealskln sacque in attempting to fatter
your wife at Christmas. 1t won't work
Unless our daughters are trained to self
help, there may come time when, for lack
ofpower to help themselves, the heavy hand
of awful failure will crush them to the
dust.
Are you taking down the speeches YER
batim ?" inquired II smiling individual of
reporter at a political meeting, ooh, no."
replied the young man. II have too much
respect for the speakers to do that -
"A Presbyterian Sunday school sent lot
of dolls to the little heather girls, and it
wasn'ta week after they arrived before the
old heathens had them nailed on the walls,
and were worshiping them as idols.
-Lanty Cong's Prayer.-"The giver of the
feast, that rale ould Irish gentleman, Misther
Bernard McCatierty, and may he live till he
climbs to Paradise on the shoulders of his
good deeds, an the prayers av thin he's
done 'em to. Lord be good to him."
"A young apprentice to the shoemaking
business asked his master what answer he
should give to the oft,repeated question,
"Does yonr master warrant his shoes ?""An-
swer, Thomas" said the master, "that war
rant them to prove good; and, ifthey don't
I'll make them good for nothing"
Tommy, is your sister Clarnda in ?"
"Alebby she is and mehby she amt. What's
your name?"
why do you ask ?"
"Waal, you see, she said if Mr.. Tompkins
called she'd be in, but if old Cruikshank came
she'd be out. Which be your" Mr. Cruik-
shank departed
The way to make yourself pleasing to
others is TO show them those small courtesies
in which there is no parade, whose voice is
too still TO tease, and which manifest them
selves by tender and affectionate looks, and
little acts of attention and kindness, giving
others the preference in every little enjoy
ment, at the table, in the field, walking, sit
ting, and standing.
"Who is that old duffer ?" asked the new
groceryman ofthe milk man, as we'll dress
ed man went by.
why, he is one of our most trusted citi.
zens," was the eloquent reply.
How do you make that out He has
been owing me bill ever since came
here"
That's just how we made it out" laughed
the mlk-man gleefully, and the grocery-man
scratched his head till he caught on"
"A good suggestion: Some men find it
difficult to grow old gracefully Col, Yerger
is one of them. Lest Sunday his little daugh-
ter caught him at work on his own head with
a pair of tweezsrs, Papa, what are you do
ing TO your hair ?" she asked 81 am pulling
out the gray hairs, Mollie" "Why don't you
pull the black ones out you will get through
quicker, There amt half so many black
ones as there are white ones"-T Teas Sitft-
,ngs.
I compare the trouble which we have to
undergo in the course ola year to great
bundle of tagots far too large for us to lift
But God does not require us 10 lift it all at
once He mercifully untes the bundle and
gives us first one stick which we are to carry
to-day, and another which we are to carry to-
porrow, and so on. This we might easily
manage if we would only take the burden APP
crease our troubles by carrying yesterdays
stick over again to-day and adding to-mor-
roow's burden to our load before we are re-
quired to bear it.-John Nea0t0n.