The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-12-04

engagements, from the lethargies thas
seem to hang the foot when they lit Il, 70
the hand when they put it up, to the words
when they speak.
Two young men In Q store. In the morn.
ing the one gees to his post the last minute
or one minute behind. The other is ton
minutes before the time, and has his hat
and coat hung up and is at his post watt
ing for duty. The one is ever and anon In
the afternoon looking at his watch to sec
II it is not most time to shut up. The other
stays half an hour after he might go and,
when asked why, says he wanted to look
over some entries he had made to be sure
he was right, or to put up some goods that
had been left out Of place. The one is very
punctilious about doing work not exactly
belonging to him. The other is glad to
help the other clerks in their work. The
The first will be q prolonged nothing and
he will be poorer at sixty than at twenty.
The other win be merchant prince.
Incidence is the cause Of more failures In
all occupations than you have ever suspect
ed. People are too lazy to do what they
can do, and want to undertake that which
don't want to be . common soldier carry
ing q halberd across the stage, or falcon.
er, or mere attendant, and so lounge
about the scenes till they shall be called to
be a Macready or Junius Brutus Booth.
They say, "Give me the part of Timon, of
Athens, rather than that of Flavin, his
steward" "Let me be Gym.
beline, the King, rather than Pisano, the
servant" After awhile they, by some ac-
cident of prosperity or circumstances, get
in the place for which they have no quail
fication. And very soon, if the man be q
merchant, he is going around asking his
creditors to compromise for ten cents ON
the dollar. OF, il a clergyman, he is max
ing TRADES against the ingratitude of
churches. Or, if an attorney, by unskill-
full management he loses case in
which widows and orphans are robbed
Of their portion. Or, if physi-
clan, he by malpractice gives his pa
tient rapid transit from this world
to the next. Toward the end of
life these people are out of pa
thence, out of money, out Of friends, out of
everything. They go to the poor-house or
keep out of it by running in debt to all the
grocery and dry goods stores that will
trust them. People begin to wonder when
the curtain will drop on the scene. After
awhile, leaving nothing but their compile
ments to pay their doctor, undertaken and
Gabriel Grub, the grave digger, they dis
appear. Exeunt! Kissed off the stage.
Others fall in the drama of life through
demonstrated selfshness. They make oil
the rivers empty into the sea, all the roads
of emolument end at their door, and they
gather all the plumes of honor for their
brow. They help no one, encourage no
one, rescue no one. "How big a pile of
money can I get." SHOW much of the
world can absorb" are the chief ques-
lions. They feel about the common people
as the Turks felt toward the Asapi, or
common soldiers-considering them Of no
use except to ill up the bitches with their
dead bodies while the other troops walked
over them to take the fort. After awhile
this prince Of worldly success is sick. The
only interest society has in his illness is
the effect that his probable decease may
have on the money markets. At
ter awhile he dies. Great news
paper capitals announce how
he started with nothing and ended
with everything. Although for sake Of
appearance some people pat handkerchief
to the eye, there is not one genuine tear
shed betweeu Central Park and the Bat
terry or between Brooklyn Heights and
Brooklyn Hill. The heirs sit up all night
while he lies in state, discussing what the
old fellow has probably done with his
money. 1t takes all the livery stables
within two miles to furnish funeral equip.
age, and all the mourning stores are kept
busy in selling weeds Of grief. The stone
cutters send in proposals for monument.
The minister at the obsequies reads of the
resurrection, which makes the hearers fear
that if the unscrupulous financier does come
up in the general rising he will try to get
a corner on tombstones and graveyard
fences. All good men are glad that the
moral nuisance has been removed. The
Wall street spectators are glad because
there is more room for themselves. The
heirs are glad because they get possession
of thu long -delaycd Inheritance. Dropping
every feather of all his plumes, every GER
tiicate of all his stock, every bond of all
his investments, every dollar of all his
fortune, he departs, and all the rolling
of Dead March in Saul, and all the pa
geantry of his interment, and all the ex-
quisiteness of sarcophagus, and all the ex-
travagance of epitaphology can not hide
the fact that my text has come again to
tremendous fulfIlnent: "Men shall clap
their their hands at him and shall hiss him
out of the place."
You see the clappinS comes before the
hiss. The world cheers before it damns.
So, it is said, the deadly sap tickles be-
fore it stings. Going up is ne? Hurrah!
Stand back and lie. his galloping horse
and tinkling headgear and arched neck.
Drink deep of his MADEIRA and Cognac.
Boast of how well you know him. All hats
OH as ne passes. Bask fer days and years
in the sunlight Of his prosperity. Going
down, is he? Pretend to be nearsighted SO
that you can not see him as he walks past.
When men ask you if you know him, halt
and hesitate as though you were trying to
call up dim memory, and say: "Weu,
y-e-e-s, yes, l believe l once did know
him, but have not seen him for a long
time. Cross a different ferry from the
one where you used to meet him,
lest he ask for financial help.
When you started life he spoke good
word for you at the bank. Talk down
his credit now that his fortunes are col
lapsing. He put his name on two of your
notes; tell him that you have changed
your mind about such things and never
indorse. After awhile his matters come to