Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-06-25


her in the yard.
Hurry" cried he, cor we will get
there too late to start in the race"
No time was lost in reaching the
rink or in doDning the skates. The race
was about to begin.
Mrs. Hackemup and Harry hurried
ly took their places.
Crash went the music! OFF went
the skaters, Juliana Keziah, tightly
clssping Harry's hand, among the fore
most, her stove-pipe hat. which in
Quaker style she retained upon her
head, towering aloft like the leaning
tower of Pisa.
Greatly excited, she had completed
the tour of the hall, and was flying
around the second time, when, happen
ing to glance toward the spectators,
who occupied seats at the side, she met
the Mortified eyes of her husband,
whom she had supposed at home, fixed
upon her.
Harry, too, had caught sight of his
father, and as his costume consisted of
that indignant parents wedding suit,
stuffed with pillows to produce the
desired symmetrical fit, fellow feeling
impelled him and his step-mother to
court seclusion. With one impulse
they turned and fed into the crowd.
Tempestuous confusion ensued! An
immensely fat woman receiving Harry's
head full tilt against the pit of her
stomach, shut up like jack-knife, and
fell with terrific force upon the padded
form of her assailant, nearly crushing
him fiat. As Harry's hand was still
tightly clutched by Juliana Keziah, she,
naturally and involuntarily, made a
third in the picturesque group, falling
on her back with thud that sent her
hat flying in the air, and kicking so
vigorously that several others, unable
to get out of the way, were bowled
Quota to the Volunteering nass or inu=
manity.
AS soon as possible quiet was re-
stored. Those who could arose, others
were helped up; but Juliana Keziah
lay mot;onless and gasping, her face
purple.
DR.. Hackemup, whose services as
ministering angel had been wildly
called for, bent over her, faint hope
rising in his breast that apoplexy
might save him from committing MUIR
der. One look into that open mouth
was enough.
"She has swallowed her teeth" he
shouted, too excited to be pompous.
Bring the stomach pump"
While Harry, his noble proportions
considerably fattened, ran to the Office
for this instrument, Juliana Keziah, still
gasping, was raised to sitting position.
DIR. Hackemup, with savage glance,
bestowed upon her back a vicious
tensibly to alleviate the sufferings of
his distressed spouse, perhaps as vent
to his own overcharged feelings, and
with due effect. The four teeth which
had lodged in Mrs. Hackemup's throat
flew half way across the hall, while the
relieved woman bore witness to the eff
ficacy of the Doctors treatment by inn
mediately screeching at the top of her
lungs.
Ruthlessly silenciDg this soul-reach-
ing music, DIR. Hackemup dragged the
musician out of the hall, and unbottled
his wrath.
"Your attire is disgraceful, madam" !"
roared he, "and you sirrah," to Harry,
who appeared this moment with the
stomach pump, "will gaze upon to-mor-
rows setting sun from the windows of
q boarding school. Such q .fasco,
madam" grinding his teeth, II never
beheld."
Juliana Keziah, stalking forlornly be-
"Silence," thundered Doctor H.,
IL l. - :--L--1---l- ---;nr-l ----s--tf..1ls. I.
"As to fee askers, what could be more
opprobrious to doctor?"
"and listen to my dictum. The Society
for the Relief of INDECENT Spinsters ap-
piled to me this morning for a suitable
building. After ensconcing you, i'm
pertinent, ungrateful offspring, at
school, 1 shall rent this dwelling (they
having reached his house) for that pur-
pose. You and J." sardonically to his
spouse, "will retire from the world to
our farm on Smallpox Greek.
Juliana Keziah shrieked with horror.
Il will not be immured in those
salivian glades for all the indignant
spinsters living. That hut, Peter Co.
lumbus, consists of few small rooms and
q cuticary department. 1 will not even
considerate the plan, unless you con-
sent to have the necessitous conditions
built to the main part of the house, sur
mounting the whole with Queen
Anne curculio, or a gopher conserva-
tory, either of which would be most
opprobious for country seat"
Doctor Hackemup, however, was deaf
to all persuasion.
Harry started for school the next
day rather surprised at his own good
luck, with his stepmother's parting
words echoing in his ears. ats an i'll
wind that blows everybody good. You
will see, Harry, that your father is
taking fore paw in this farming busi-
ness, and that, like too many others, he
will save with the bigots and leak with
the bunkos; 1 prognosticate that be-
fore long he will come out at the little
end of the hornet"
Unheeding his wife's entreaties and
doleful predictions, DIR. Hackemup re-
moved at once to his farm, Immediately
thereafter offering his professional
services to the country people in huge
poster, which he placed in the neigh
boring store and postofIice combined.
Mrs. Hackemup for q while resigned
herself to despair; but perceiving that
the doctor was determined, she phil
osophically resolved to make the best
of her so;ourn in the country, by inter-
esting herself in the management of the
farm,
DIR. Hackemup's opinion of his own
wisdom was only equaled by his utter
contempt for her Judgment on the sub
ject. Therefore, the disputes be-
tween the self-sufficient medico and