The Red Cloud chief., 1885-11-13
THE WIFE MARKET.
Ambiguous Phraseology OF Matri.
monial Advertisements.


coming more and more common in the
country. One would suppose that they
are found to succeed. otherwise their
number would not increase Is it does.
j. IS not always. however. that aivcr-
tsements succ ced. The following is an
instance OF a contrary result:
1.-The middlc-agcd widower who adj
vertised three weeks ago is still a candi-
date for m~atrimony. Many letters are
missing by not giving explicit and
proper directions" How sad,-is still
q candidate for matrimony! Did he.
perhaps, confess 10 ''incumbrances" in
his previous advertisement, or is it be-
cause ne is middle aged and q widowcr
that he has not been appreciated in the
course of three whole weeks? And he
is evidently such an unsuspcotin~, sim
l~le-mindcd. trustful man. Some men
Mould have thought that if no letter
canIe no letters had been written; but
moi SO the middle-aged widower. He.
on the contrary. is tull of faith. He is
sure that many ladies have written;
they must have used Il wrong address.
Is il Yet % late for us TO point out 10
the fair sex how invaluable a husband
with such Ready explanatory theories
would b. 30 ladies who love liberty?
The middlc-aeed widower does no de-
serve TO he disappointed; but we can
scarcely hold the same view of a mid
dic-agcl LADY, case:
"A lady OF middle agc, with no gen
tlcman acl~uaintances. would like to
form an acquaintance with a genae-
man-from middle are to siyty-wiih a
view to matrimonv." Now in the first
place, does this mean that the ~acGuaint-
:inceship is 10 last from middle are to
sixty. with a view To eventual matri-
monyp That sort of arrangement
would certainly not suit an eager Young
fellow like the middlc-agcd widowcr
whom n delay of cvcn three weeks
could drive into that plaintivc 'still a
candidate" But, further than this. the
lady makcs two capital blundcrs. which
will probably prove fatal TO her wishes.
She should have represented herself rs
surrounded by troops OF ardent admir-
crS none of whom quite come TO her
ideal standard, and she should have
chosen some less offensive phrase than
from middle age TO sixty" surprising
1T to refer 10 the age of the gentleman,
and not TO the duration of the court
ship. That phrase will infallibly offend
all matrimonial men of sixty. We
should imagine that the middle-aged
widower is close upon sixty, else he
would describe himself rs I'm the prime
of lfe." and yet the wording of the adj
vertisemcnt implies that sixty is old. On
the other hand, men from forty to iifty
will not allow that :hcy are middle
aged. they leave that for fellows OF six
T.. Here is = proposal whose full beau
ties does not come out on 4 mere cur
sorry glance
"A gentleman of mcNum age and a
good mercantile business desires the ac-
Guaintarce of n lady. from twenty-five
20 forty years of age. for a wife. His
lady acquaintance in the city. very linn
it.d. is of Il retiring. modest DISPOSE
tiOa." Observe the delicacv of the gen-
,lcman of middle age. He does not adj
dress himself TO principals. but to
friends of principals. He want as a
wife the acquaintance of 4 lady from
twenty-five to forty years of age. How
old the wished-ior wife is to be he does
not say. nor Yet why her friend should
be from twenty-five TO forty years of
age. His second sentence, toe is am
biSuous: His lady acquaintance in
This city, very limited. is of a retiring,
modest disposition" Possibly it en-
bodies 4 complaint. and. if SO. it is IN
wise. fox it casts n reflection upon his
readers, 1t amounts to saying that he
NOT vns nm srsfl, fb, ,.ofrpD o,l
modest ladies. and SO seeks for a wife
among that opposite class which advcr-
tises or answers advertisements.
What does . ''middle-aged gentle
man mean who desires the acquaiat-
ance of = poor young lady," and adds
in p~arenthesis. ian orphan prefcrred?"
Can it be that hc objects to the ;dea Of
a moiher-in-lawa or is it that there is
something wrong about him which
natural protector could find
ont? On the other hand. it
may be that he is so deficient
in personal a.tractions-about which
very little is said in these advertise
men:S. and As compared with income
that he thinks he will have a better
chance with the poor and helpless"
class. "A bashful young man does
no look fog IN orphan. he confesscs
tha. "A pretty foot is his passion" in
connection with ''iaNen hair and blue
eyes" not knowing. perhaps. in his
bashfulneSs, that these three excelIeaces
are rare. "A young soldier is not so
bashfnl as the ''bashful Young man."
He wanders through involved sentences
with much confusion of first and third
person. and at last. feeling that he has
rather made a mess of it. bursts ont in
plain English:
am quite anxious to marry. # l
can tind some one suited TO my mind.
in about one yesr hence. when my term
ci service expires. None Int those who
:.a sincerely disposed IN look this mat
ter SQUARE in the face need reply" The
military profession brings us to two ad-
yertisements. which appear next, each
other in the columns of a Western
paper.
Three Young gentlemen. now serv-
inc in the United States Artillery. whose
terms of service viii shortly expire. are
DESTROYS of opening a correspondence
with a few young ladies with a view 10
matriraony. Addr-ss in sincerity. win
carte lie visite, if agreeable. AAB.'
Three young ladies. Interested IN
gallant soldiers, wish to open CORE