The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-08-01

LIrrEL BERTHA: eyes, mamma, 1
took three bonbons out of the drawer"
Mamma: "Ihat was very naughty, my
child; but will forgive you, because
YOU confessed it." Little Bertha :"Then
give ME the other, mamma, for really
took only two"
CARE you lnarriedF" asked the Judge
Of a man who had been arrested for Va
grancy, mo, am not married, but
my wife is." "No trifling with the
court" "Heaven save usl I'm not
triAing with the court. I was married
but got divorce, my wife got married
again, but 7 didn't, SO ain not married,
but my wife IT,"
THE chief Of the Bureau Of Statistics
reports that the number of immigrants
arrived in the United States during the
fiscal year ended June 80, 1885, was
387, 7,s21, being 122,018 less than the i'm
migration during the preceding fiscal
year, and 40l, III less than during the
year ending June 80, 1852, the year CT
the greatest immigration.
"FoR what we are about TO receive
may the Lord make us tyuly thankful"
devoutly murmured Dusenbury, sitting
with folded hands At the dinner table
Then looking disdainfnly over the
! dishes set before him he suarlel: "Cood
gracious, Maria. how many times GO
You want fne to tell you that I don't
banker for cabbage and corred beef
more than three times in cne weekr
BosToN RECORD: Politics continue to
be queer. The son Of Henry A. Wise,
who hanged John Brown, and himself
young man who fought vigorously in
the rebellion, is supported zealously by
Republican papers for Governor OF Vir-
ginia, though he is the lieutenant Of
Boss Malone ana identified with repudi-
alton. If General Fitz Hugh Lee leads
the Democratic party he will doubtless
be denounced by some OF these same
organs as "rebcl brigadier' and an
enemy Of the Government.
ALL employees on the Baltimore and
Ohio Railroad are compelled TO Join a
relief association, which was endowed
by the company with SI,oC0,O00, and
receives annually $4,000 from that
source. The men are assessed, accord
Ing 10 their wages, from one to five del
lars month, and they receive in case
Of death or accident from fifty cents a
day to 81, GOO cash down. There is also
a savings and loan feature, under which
members may acquire homes Of their
own.
MARX TWAIN has written letter 81
which he asserts that his children are
we'll behaved, well governed, and com
panionably charming; and he refers to
Mrs.. Harriet Beecher Stowe, Charles
Dudley Warner, and his other Hartford
neighbors as witnesses. He attributes
this goodness TO his wIfe's training.
He emphasizes the point in her disci-
pline that no promise is broken 70 the
youngsters, whether it involves a whip
ping or picnic. In administering cor
poral punishment she invariably lets
few hours elapse between the sentence
and the execution, SO that no anger on
her part shall enter into the mater; and
he afhrms that the "child never goes
away from the scene of torture until It
has been loved back into happy hearted
ness and joyful spirit"
WIEN some liquor dealers were az
Eaignsd before Juags Reading in Chi
eego TO be sentenced for selling % min
ors, h!s Honor told them, at consider
aole length, that the law empowered
them TO deal IN alcoholic beverages that
they weFo legally sus.siasd in making
dFuntardE, IN agonising wives, IN dis
gfaoing orphans, and II doing about al
the harm Incidental 20 their baASness.
The prisoners began 70 think that he
meant 70 let them Of, and they were
sure OF !t when he said: "Tou may al
low children 70 frequent your saioons,to
witness the delights Of inebI,e.y," bat
he dashed their hcres by adding; "YoE
are thus licensed 10 hol1 the cup 10
childish lips, but you must not permit
them 70 drink Il. The poor privilege OF
selling 70 boys ana girls IS denied 10
you. You must wait until they are =
before You can legally destroy them"