West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-10-30

spool, being tempered as they are
ccilcd. These springs are 10 be fastened
bN ,omc means ia y screw and their
force controlled 10y means of "A lever.
and when the power of one /, exhausted
another slides into its place. lie saws
NJ Is going TO aSton'Sh the world bv
coming down the Hudson River one of
these days at n le y minute. Another
one has some Kind oi a cannon or cata-
pult with which he saws he can shoe: a
fireman mp on TO the roof of burning
building His object is to have the
fireman iaSten ropes. by which lives can
he saved just imagine big. fat fire
man sailing through the air with n rope
fastened to him, and alighting on
burning roof There ought 10 b, a
place TO put these fellows" =" and the
proprietor cast a diSguSted look at
dozen or SO crazy looking models that
had been left with him for invcstiga-
ton.
The reporter met men who would in
vent anything from portable post holes
TO non-mcltable snowballs TO wear in
ones pocket on hot DAYS to keep chilly.
The hrSt one of the gang TO drop ~
was regular who is seen at the place
prietor has found any one to invest in
a wonderful air ship. of which he nj
ways carries elaborate plans. He was
duly presented and when ho found he
was At least IN the presence of a wealthy
man his assumption of dignity aud the
carelessness with which he spoke of
hundreds of thousands of dollars were
appalling. Some royal investments in
Siberian lands had temporarily embar-
raSscd him, aud in nScluonce he
would consent To take in pwtncr in
his great air-ship enterprise which
would not only startlc the world. but
quite likely the entire universe The
man seemed about siNty-livc years old.
straight and tall, a restless, nervous,
manner and flow of language when
speaking of his invention that would
make a stonographcr sick. lie un-
rolled his drawings after convincing
himself that there was no one - over
hear. There were plans Of boat,. bal
looms, electric apparatus. valvas cables,
propeller wheels and rudders Of every
description.
There YOU see. he said, "the boat
is propelled through tho air by means
OF electric machines working this pow
criul propeller. The bouynndy is at
tanned by using four large balloons at
tached TO the boat by strong cables
These balloons are inflated by gas man
ufactured aboard the boat, and the
altitude is regulated by means of a
system Of valves that Will enable me to
ascend or descend at will The pro-
pellOr is strong enough TO 90 right
through the licrccst storm or the bal
looms are great enough to carry me
above them. assure you. my dear sir.
that this VIII rcvolutionize the means
of transportation. Railroad trains and
steamships are too slow. Why, can
easily carry passengers and freight
from New York to London i'm three
days Now. what do you think of thatP
Don't you think there arc immense
fortunes in it?'
The reporter mildly expressed some
doubt a TO the thing working smooth
~ and safely. Not work." exclaimed
the inventor, looking with such pity
ing expression that the reporter wa,
really sorry he had presumed to feel
the least doubtful "Not work. why il
can help but work. DO you suppose
for an instant, sir, that | would have
devoted thirty years of my valuable
time TO an invention that woudn {
workg' And he explained the whole
thing over again with such vehemcnce
that the reporter could not do other
wise than acknowledge the machine
would surely work, but thinking the
man was becoming too deeply Interested
i'm him on his imaginary millions he
backed slowly toward the door and
hurricdly excused himself for moment
The proprietor. in some manner known
only 10 himself. rid the room OF the air
ship crank, and the capitalist breathed
free again.
You see that little, dried up old man
at that table. looking over an old at
las, said the proprietor, pointing to
another queer specimen, "that fellow
has some sort of a machine in which he
is going TO find the North Pole He
thinks he will find an Open polar sea
surrounded by rich lands. and that all
the imperishahle property that was
ever wrecked i'm the ocean will be found
piled up there in great reefs He wants to
establish colony there. lie expects to
start for 1T every week but some one
who is going with him always fails To-
come up 10 time. / have TO fire him
out every once IN awhile.
utlf = dhONUtI ltliOW mat YOU III
probably see tonight, that has a urea I
idea Of catching porpoises. There was
something IN the papers some time aOo
about those mamJDals making most ex-
cellent food. and he has been working
ever since on an invention which Inc
claims will enable n man 10 swim right
through the water after a school of por-
pOiscs and spear as many Of them as he
wants The rig he shows is quite n
curiosity There is thing shaped like
the tail OF founder which the man
pulls up over his legs to the knees.
whore 10 is fastened; then along each
side Of the chest and fastened over the
shoulders arc rubber belts that can be
inflated to sustain the weight OF the
body, and he claims that by kicking his
feet up and down. initiating the motion
of founder, he can skim through the
water as fast as any fish, and. with n
lence. follow mp and slay ~ many sea
hogs as he wants All he wants is a
little more money TO perfect tho ap-
pardtus, which Of course, is sure to
work. ~ T. Hcy0ld
s s-s--