The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-12-25
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Young ladies who are contemplate
ing matrimony during the Christmas
festival SHOULD make sure that they can
comfortably support husband before
taking on themselves the lifelong re-
sponsibility.-Ckieago Sam.
The country parson now looks for.
ward to Christmas and wishes that
some one would present him with .
pair of leather boots to kind of Offset
the dead loads of worked worsted slip
pers he is sure to receiye.-L0sceu Citi-
REV.
BE very careful. in doing up Christ
mas presents for your friends. that you
don't mix up the twenty-five cent pair
of red suspenders for your father and
the fifty dollar pearl necklace and lock-
ct for your best girl.-Burlington Free
Press.
In many Southern towns the Christ
mas tree is placed in the city hall or
court house instead of in the church,
the various denominations in the place
taking turns in having charge of it, the
others. respectively, joining. = Mash
riXe Banner.
The caller should not only be adj
monished as to his costume hut his con-
duct. He should be apprised that if he
carries his overshoes into the drawing
room he is to do it with the left hand,
so as to leave his right free to shake
that of his hostess.-Detrois Free Press.
-" Johnnie, do you know who Santa
Claus lisp" asked fond father of his
seven-year-old son on Christmas morn
ing. With knowing look the young
ster replied: ''Well. last night didn't.
just on purpose; but now that I've got
my presents I'm not quite as green as
q Christmas ~ T. Journal.
The man who lost all his money on
election bets, yet still possesses girl.
several relatives and numerous credit
ors. all looking confidently forward to
a Christmas or New Years gift, is truly
in a pitiable condition. The surplus
in the National Treasury might be
charitably used in relieving cases Of
such extremity.-Losceu Citizen.
-"What do you expect Santa Claus
to bring you down the chimney next
Christmas?" asked old Mrs. Docking
of her grandchild, Tommy. ''Grand-
mother, l am surprised that . person
of your age should still believe in such
childish things" was the reply of the
little fellow. who will be five years old
on his next birthday.-Teras Sittings.
A Good Resolution for the New
Year-H you have several duties to
perform. some of which are pleasant
and welcome, while others are disa-
greeable and repulsive, do the disagree
able ones first, and the most disagree
able first of all. The longer you delay
disagreeable duty, the more Disagree
able it becomes. Bdp:ist.
1t is pleasant and profitable thing
to make point of calling on friends
and exchanging good wishes. The
practice has been grossly abused every
where, without any doubt; it has often
degenerated into silly contest, and
sometimes has partaken of the charac-
ter of gigantic spree; but in its es-
sence it is a good thing.-Miltcaukee
Sentinel.
-Wife-.'Oh! there it comes. That
is the delivery wagon" Husband
There what comes?" Wife-"The-
the Christmas present I bought for
you." Husband (going to the door,
''You are mistaken, dear. suppose
the present, whatever it is, will come
by mail" ..But what did the wagon
bring?' ''Only the bill, my love. y
philadelphia Gail.
Charley wanted to give Clara a
Christmas present, but he couldn't
make up his mind what it should be;
SO the next time he called he frankly
told her the difficulty under which he
was laboring. want to make me .
present, Charleyw Clara exclaimed, in
well-disguised establishment. ..Why,
Charley, you forget yourself. Charley
took the hint and offered himself on
the spot--Erchange.
This is the season for novelties, the
finest and most expensive goods being
brought forward at this time to Sc
cure purchasers. If the question was
asked as to what constituted the great
est happiness in this world, the major
ity of people would say: Giving" 1t
is at all times joy to give. but when
it commentaries some special ami
versary it is particularly so.-Erchangc.
-" Heloise''-A good way to get
Abelard's measure for the Christmas
slippers is to tell him that you have
made bet with the hateful thing next
door that he has the smallest feet in the
ward. Another great scheme is to
anchor the dog in the path from the
front gate and make Abe walk across
the lawn in the snow. Then in the
morning you can 60 out and rope in
the footprints with clothes-line, and
construct the goloshes out doors if you
wish.-Bw6dlo Express.