West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-05-08

Innate in your soup instead of salt.
King Perico had his suspicious that
the pie mentioned in the paper would
be less easy of digestion than the
Queens, and began Investigations with
that prudence and sagacity which af-
fairs of state require. The result proved
that the object of his Ministers was
nothing less than his destruction.
The traitors were arrested and SEN
fenced TO death.
Finding no mercy in the King, whose
nose was for the first time in his life
really swollen. the conspirators sought
the Queen. On learning that they were
guiltless of trying TO rival her i'm what
she did with such perfection. she inter
coded for them so ellicaciously with
her august spouse that his anger was
appoased.
'Well, said the King 10 his wife,
'since you have given them your word,
| grant them their lives and am content
with banishing them. | must confess
that TO you alone belongs the art of
making pastry"
The Queen was so inspired upon
hearing this eulogy that from that day
may be dated the delicious of the vol
au-vent
Just think" said King Perco to
himself, from what deuce of "A ca
tastrophe my wife's taste for cooking
has saved me. But for that she would
have wrapped the Goldfish up in the pc
tition, and | should never have known
what these sharpers were about 1t
must be granted that Providence does
not act blindly. Our august spouse
must be permitted to exercise the talent
God has given her But how, by the
mass, am | to free myself from the
crowd of rogues around me. The bad
corrupt the good, and the corruption
seems to be spreading at such a rate
that in few years | do not see how
there can be an honest public servant
] am to blame for being such coward
But mercy! my nose is swollen to-day
in good earnestr
The Kings disgust at the corruption
of his officers went on increasing. and
in the same ratio increased the Queen's
affection for the culinary art.
Now and then the King wished this
love OF cooking at the deuce, but as
rule he did not object, and sometimes
even praised it, remembering the pie
and thinking that Heaven probably
knew what it was about in giving such
talent to the Queen.
News reached the court one day that
the King of Jauia, an ally and relative
OF Perico, was about to pay him visit
The Joy of Queen Mari-C astana was
unbounded at the opportunity to dis
play her culinary talents to advantage.
Whatever they may say, it is we
who are TO entertain the King of Jauia,
where they eat and drink and never
work, exclaimed the Queen, jumping
for Joy, like a child. Such Judge
rs he must be is just what l need, to be
appreciated, for my merit is not under
stood by common palates like my au-
gust spouse's. | must find out what
are his Majesty's favorite dishes, even
If 1T costs me time and money"
And the Queen, in fact, sent her own
confidential attendant, Gachano, TO
JauJa on this important mission; but
day after day went by, no Gachano re-
turned although summoned. Another
attendant was sent, and, at last, third,
but all remained in the same extraor-
binary manner.
Then there was nothing for it but to
toll the King and see if he could explain
the affair
What does it mean?" said the King.
1t means that in Jauja they eat and
drink and never work"
But these scamps ought to remem-
Der that | am their Queen"
'All they remembered was that the
stomach is queen of all
- hope it will be their ruin"
" Now, my dear, don't be excited. /
| will give private instruction to my plen-
| ipotentiary in Jauia so that he will send
me full information as 10 the dishes
which my august ally prefers"
King Perico was as good as his word.
and few days later received dispatch
announcing that the favorite dish of
his Jaujian Majesty was a compete of
apples.
Now apples were very rare in King
! Pericos dominions. But a basketfuf
was finally obtained. and the Queen
F, locked them up carefully down cellar,
out OF the way of their greatest enemies,
the children.
The King of Jauia at last arrived. and
was received with due ringing Of bells,
! llluminations, bull-hghts and kissing OF
| hands
And apropos of hand kissing, it may
here be remarked that the courtiers
showed each other aside to kiss the
/ Queens hand, and then would lick their
lips. 50 often had she a hand i'm some
dainty dish or other.
Ht eve OF lhe great banquet 10 be
! given TO his Jauiian Majesty, the King
was in his study pondcring over two
things first, how to form good Cab
met and second, how TO conclude with
the King Of Jauia a treaty for the ex-
/ tradition Of criminals. in which IL was
To be stipulated, TO avoid trouble at
home, that the criminals arrested
should be hung and all
While he was deep in these we ghty
/ cons deratiOns who should appear but
the Queen, crying like n calf and tear
ing her hair out by handfuls.
ooh. Perico Of my soul, we are lost"
Well, what is the matter now?"
go, Such n misfortune
1.-Two hundred thousand demons
Tell me before / 90 mad"
My apples ! found them all rottcnr
pretty thing 20 come 10 me about!
Throw them to the pigs
how wicked TO say such a thing
Woman do not cnrage me or my
nose will swell
And o saying, the King opened tho
door for the Queen who went out cry-
. ing iDcOnsolably, for her hope Of glory
bad depended upon the compete Of APP
pies
King Pcrico was so much occupied
with grave affairs Of state that he never
once thought 81 his wife's disappo.nt.