Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-10-03
ABOUT GEOLOGY.
One Of Btn Nye's Queer Dtsserta.
tions.


lions.
sociology is that branch of natural
science which treats of the structure 81
the earth's crust and mode of formation
Gifts rocks. 1t is pleasant and proiita-
BILE study, and to the man who has mar
.ried rich and does not need to work the
amusement of busting geology with the
Bible, or busting the Bible with geology.
is indeed great boon.
Geology goes hand in hand with zool-
ogy, botany, physical geography and 9TH
or kindred sciences. Taxi5ermy, chiro-
pody and theology are not kindred
sciences.
Biologists ascertain the age Of the
earth by looking at its teeth and count
ing The wrinkles on its horns. They have
learned that the earth is not only of great
age, but that it is still adding 10 its age
from year to year.
4, 1t is hard to say very much of great
science in 30 short an article. and that is
one great obstacle, which i am constant
~ running against as scientist. once
prepared paper in astronomy entitled
"The Chronological History and Habits
Of the Spheres" 1t was very exhaustive
and weighed four pounds. i sent it to
scientific publication that was supposed
TO Le working for the advancement Of
our race. The editor did not print it,
Tut wrote me crisp and saucy postal
card requesting me 10 call with dray
and remove my stuff before the board of
health got after it. In five short years
from that time he was corpse. As |
write these lines learn with ill-conceal-
ed pleasure that he is still a corpse. An
, awful dispensation of Providence in the
shape of large, wilted cucumber laid
hold upon his vitals and cursed him with
an inward pain. He has since had the
opportunity by actual personal observa-
lion 10 see whether the statements made
BY me relative to astronomy were true.
: His last words were, Friends, Romans
and countrymen, beware of q cumber.
It will up" 1t was not original, but
IL was good.
y The four great primary periods of the
earth's history are as follows, viz, to
wit:
I. The Eozoic or am Of life.
III. The Paleozoic or period Of an-
Gent life.
III. The Mesozoic or middle period
oflife.
Nv. The Neozoic- or recent period of
life.
3 These are all subdivided again, and
other words more difficult to spell are
introduced into science, thus crowding
ont the vulgar herd who cannot afford to
Ilse high priced terms in constant CONVEX
ration.
Old timers state that the primitive con.
ditior of this earth was extremely damp.
With the onward march of time, and af-
ter the lapse of millions of years, men
found that they could get along with less
and less water, until at last we see the
pleasant, blissful state of things. Aside
from the use of water at our Summer re-
sorts, that fluid is getting TO be less and
less popular. And even here at these
resorts it is generally favored with some
foreign substance.
The earth's crust is variously estimated
in the matter of thickness. Some think
1t is $500 miles thick, which would
make 1t safe 20 run heavy trains across
the earth anywhere on top of a second
mortgage. while other scientists say that
five go down one tenth of that distance
We will reach place where the worm
dieth not. Edo not wish to express an
opinion rs to the actual depth or thick
nees of the earth's crust, but | believe
that 1t is none too thick to suit me.
Thickness in the earth's crust is q
mighty good fault. We esti nate the age
of certain strata of the earth's formation
by means OF a union of our knowledge
OF plant and animal life, coupled with
our geological research and good mem
DRY. The older scientists in the field of
geology do not rely solely upon the tracks
OF the hadrasaurus or the cornucopia for
their data. They simply use these things
to refresh their memory.
j wish that had time and space to
TO describe some of the beautiful bacteria
and gigantic worms that formerly inbab
tied the earth, Such an aggregation of
actual, living Silurian monsters, any one
OF which would make a man a fortune
today. If il cculd be kept on ice and ex-
hibited for one season only. You could
4 tske full grown mastodon today, and
with no canopy, no Autographs, no beard.
cd lady, no clown with four pillows in
his pantaloons and no iron jawed woun-
!. an. you could 60 across the continent
and successfully compete with the skat.
ing rink.
There would be but one difficulty
Your expenses would not be heavy. The
mastodon would be willing to board
around and no one would feel like turn
ing amsstodom out of doors if he seemed
TO be hungry; but he might get awav
rom you and frolic away so far In one
night that you couldn't get him for a
dav or two even If you sent detective
for him.
III had rnsstodon | would rather
take him when he was young, and then
1 could make q pet of him so that he
would come and eat out of Lay hand
without taking the hand Off a. the same
time. A large mastodon weighing a
hundred tons or so is awkward. too.
suppose that nothing is more painful
odon.
hope at some future time TO write q
paper Tor the Academy of Science on the
sub ect OF Deceased Fauna, Fossiliferous
Debris and Extinct Jokes, showing how
when and why these early forms of ami.
mafiife cameto extinct. bin Nye.
Laundry Lessons.
N -