Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-07-10
THE BOTTLE.

thing comfortable" said Tom Bar
naby.
Tom Barnaby was not member OF
any temperance society whatever, and
had no dislike to the taste of liquor.
Not that he was drinking man. Oh,
dear, mol Never was drunk in his
liquor. But still-wGll, still, q nice
glass of something comfortable struck
Tom in pleasant light, and he gen
orally took it when it did.
To night it was cold and chilly and
gloomy, and the wind ratified the
shutters and crooned down the Chin
ney, and made banshee of itself
along the street; and Tom, who was
not very fond of reading, could not
lose himself in book or magazine, and
there was no one to talk to, and the
resolution above recorded seemed to
be the most natural thing in the
world. "a glass of something com
Portable" said Tom, land a biscuit,
and then I'll turn in"
Then Tom went to the clos.t to look
for vessel in which to bring the nee
essary liquor for the com Portable
something from the corner store, and
spied on an upper shelf green bottle,
with fat body and long neck,
which had nothing III it, and smelled
Of nothing, and he set il upon the
table. while he stirred the fire and
put the kettle on, that everything
might be ready Oh his return.
Mrs. Tom was absent from home,
and Tom was keeping house for him
self. lie was on his knees before the
stove, raking it when he heard a
groan. it was a faint, far away
sounding groan; but it had such a
ghostly sound that he started.
Whats that2" he cried and some
thing answered:
"Only me-"
And jumping to his feet, Tom Bar
naby stood staring about; for there
was nothing in the room that ought
to have had II voice but himself not
even kitten or canary bird.
"Who is moi" cried Tom.
TON had ought to know" said the
And this time Tom saw it came
from the green bottle
Hanged if ii isn't the bottle" said
i'H'' 10 ~ VI ildLf
And ii answered:
eyes, worse luck. Ii is spirits. Bad
spirits, too. Gin, rum and brandy
Whisky and alcohol"
ooh, that kind ~ said Tom.
"Yes, said the bottle Give devils.
I've been possessed by them ALL Years
and years they led me such life that
l wished | was smashed; years and
years until your wife got me and put
blessed vinegar in me. Nice, sharp,
respectable vinegar, that never did
worse than give some poor c ,bbage
eater The collie. And | thought |
should end my days in decent vine
gar bottle, and here am-going to
have one of the devils back, | know.
Oh, what did that woman go away
fort Where did she go2"
Tom, who had grown used 10 the
phenomenon of u talking bottle, and
lid not mind it Mt all nodded his head
sagely.
Right there he said. IT'S ex-
ceediugly uncomfortable TO have a
wife away, but you are very foolish
to talk as you do. What harm is
there in moderate drink All you'd
hold wouldn't hurt fly You've been
listening to tcetotallers."
81 haven't feen listening to any
body" said the bottle I've formed
my own conclusions. There was a
time when | thought as you do. 1t
was when l was brand new bottle,
with gilt label Best Holland Gin,
on me, and my owRer. the Liquor
dealer, took me out of my case and
handed ME To Jack Barker who had
just finished painting the store.
Here Jack says he, this will help
you keep Christmas
THANK ye, said Jack; and Off
went under his arm.
And there, in bright little room.
with pretty wife and nice old
grandfather, and two cunning little
babies looking on, he opened me.
What nice smell 7 said she-the
pretty wife.
And then he made some stuff with
lemon and sugar, and they all drank
some, and the babies looked at the
light shining through my green sides
and the gilt label ON me. And the
old grandfather said the drink had
gone TO his head, and he should have
" be carried upstairs, and they
laughed at that, because it was such
good joke.
II liked myself then and what was
in me.
Before l WAS empty the first time
felt pleased to be such favorite as
| was.
"Ah, dear, l was filled up again,
and again, and again; and after
awhile | began TO see things changing
about me. The wife's face was not so
bright; the old grandfather never
laughed; the baby's toes were out;
and one day Jack staggered in, took
mo up, drank the last drop from
me, and tumbled into a chair. The
wife began to cry.
ooh, Jackr says she. oh, Jack!
how l hate that dreadful bottle. We
were so happy before it came into the
housed
''She blamed me, but l knew it
was the evil spirit in me that she
meant
"'You've lost your place, Jack
says she, Everything has changed.
You don't care for the children. It's
all that bottle
''But Jack was too tipsey to care
what she said. He staggered over to
the table, took me by the neck and
carried nae to liquor store. There
they put another evil into me. That
one drove the furniture out of the
house; bit by bit it was pawned.
"Then they left the house itself and
were living in cellar somewhere.
She took in washing; some of the
money she earned went for more spir-
its to fill me.
''Didn't loathe myself. Ore night
I sat on the table and saw tie grand
father lying dead and Jack drunk on
the floor at the foot of the bed. Didn't
loathe myselfa tried to topple off,
but 1 couldn't manage it. II ever
bottle did desire to smash itself, did.
But it was no use. Happy bottles,
beautiful cut glass cologne bottles,
innocent water bottles have been