River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-12-10
SHE CAUGHT THE RAT.
How Mrs. Billikins Succeeded In Entrap
ping "A Rodent.

The other day, as MIS-. BllllKenS was
about to put down paper into which
she had been wading for an hour, in
breathless anxiety to find out whether
the blue eyed maiden who had been
| tossed ashore in a sugar hogshead when
| a babe, turned out to be the Countess
/ de Longear and married the red-nosed
scalawag, or whether she was restored
! to her friends, and mated to Sir Tim
othy Titebute, of Litulbrane Hall, as
she ardently hoped, her eye happened
to fall on paragraph that gave heI
thinking machinery turn in another
direction. 1t was to the effect that
good way to catch rat was to turn a
boot down on the floor, close to the
wall, and as the rat went around the
room it would run into it, and when he
got there set up the boot, and there he
was.
That sounds like good sense" she
unused, land wonder | never thought
of it myself
! The Maison de Billikins is strongly
infested with rats, and the good woman
did not have long to wait for an oppOr-
| tunity to try the experiment. there
was one old veteran who had become
so bold that he would dart out into the
sitting-room nearly every hour in tie
day.
sI'll fix him; see if | don't" said
Mrs B., as she went to another room
and came back with a pair of boots,
which she placed near the wall on OPP
bided her time.
In a few minutes out came the rat
and Mrs. b. at once cut off his retreat
by throwing a shawl over the hole from
which he had emerged The expert
ment was a success, and the rat was
caught according to programme. just
then came ring at the door-bell, and,
hastily picking up the boots and put
! ting them in a corner, she went to the
door. Her visitors proved to be
couple of lady friends, who had called
to talk about church matters and get
| her Judgment az to whether blue ribbon
or pink would be the more suitable
| trimming for a certain sO-and-so. They
remained for sometime, and she be-
came so absorbed in the themes dis
cussed that she forgot all about the rat
in the boot, and went to the kitchen to
| look after household matters.
| 1t happened that Billikins received
call unexpectedly that day to run up 10
Milwaukee on q business mission fer
his employers, and went home to
change his boots, as those he had on
were new and hurt his feet. Not find
| inc them in the bedroom where he
had placed them, he went into the sit
! ting-room and noticed them standing
! in the corner. Thinking that he might
have left them there, he at once set
about putting them on. The first one
went on all right, but when he under
took the second there was war. He
discovered with much suddenness that
something with life and teeth was on
the inside The rat seized him by tle
big toe and detied him to proceed Bill
likins AYERS that at that awful moment
he distinctly heard his hair cracking
in its efforts to stand on end in spite of
his tight-iitting plug hat. He went
| hopping about the room on one foot
yelling for his wife, and disappearing
with all the energy in him.
Hearing the racket. and not expect
I ing him home at that time of day. his
wifes wits went visiting, and she got
so badly frightened her back HAIR
dropped off. as she rushed out Of
the side entrance and into the street
where brass band was Just going
down the sidewalk on the way to fill
an engagement somewhere in the
neighborhood. In a voice like gal
L I Al. L. Is l., 4
! broken into her house, and were fight
ing over the plumber and smashing up
the furniture more than dreadful.
Going back with this strong re-en force
ment, she pointed to the sitting-room
door, and the melody buffers rushed in.
The man with the big horn laid down
his instrument and eollared Billikins
with a remorseless grip that made him
black in the face before his wife could
get in the room and tell the muscular
musician that he was not a thief and a
robber, as she had supposed, but an
honest man with a boot full of mis-
fortune who had cried aloud in a voice
so laden with woe that she did not
recognize accentsthe that had won her
heart in maidenhood.
''But don t let the rat get away!'
she exclaimed. as she slammed the door
to and ran to wad n corner of She shawl
into the rat-hole so tightly that the old
fellow couldn't escape by that route
while we've got him we might as
well take care of him.
And then she got up on the top of
the cabinet organ and told them all
about how she had trapped the rat,
and what Billikins had done with it.
At this the band people laughed until
the house shook, and Billikins shot out
q new assortment of maledictions. III
which female stupidity got the biggest
in the bunch.
''DadsiZ a woman any way, said he
with apparent warmth. That's the
way with every last gid-splintered one
of them. They're always Matching up
something to play the very old knock
kneed Beelzebub with the men who
drudge till their shoulders droop for
the sake of 'em.
But long before he had finished this
exordium he had got the boot off and
was sitting on the floor nursing his
bleeding toes, and matchmaking that
rat 10 all tongues known and unknown,
while the rat itself was skipping about
the room eluding the band boys like
luck lodging a door man, and the
woman on top of the organ was throw
ing up her hands and screaming like an
opera Singer spraining her lungs in
quest of high notes.
The rat finally lodged into the bass
horn and lost himself. aud found an
asylum in the labyrinth of its windings.
The big red-faced man who makes a
living by forcing air through the instru-
ment loaded up his lungs and blew
until he turned white and loosened his
scalp; but the rat held the fort, and
holds 1t yet, for all we have been able
to learn tn the contrary. Unless a fer
ret can be found small enough to 20
through by the same route the music
pursues and chase the rodent the other
way. it looks as though the tone of the
instrument was permanently injured.