Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-04
The Deceased wife's Sister Bill.


1t was one bitterly cold March af-
ternoon, when half a dozen officers
were gathered together in an ante
room, over which the dusk of the
cleaning was fast stealing, with only
the freight to dispel it. Bootles was
half asleep in a big chair, when the
sound of a voice reused him from his
melancholy meditation.
eyes, he's a good fellow" the voice
said "but he's such fool-such an
awful fool, you know"
They were at Lucy again, so Bootles
cast his meditations to the winds and
flung himself into the fray.
$50 you always say-so everybody
says" he responded, coolly. $50, by
Jove! does poor old Lucy himself
say likewise. But, all the same, it's
simply mistake. Lucy is as clever
as daylight down at the bottom of all
that put-on drawling foolishness of
his. You fellows see not further than
the expression of intense stupidity
which is Lucy's habitual form.
You seem to think that because he
can't or won't use an r. without a
W. in front of it that he is not capa-
BILE of seeing as far through a deal
board as any other fellow. But it's
just the very greatest mistake in the
world. Old Lucy is not such a fool
as he looks, by long way
you're quite right, Bootles; he
most decidedly is not" laughed an
other man from the depths of huge
sofa. Lucy is no fool-far from it
but you'll admit that to be as big a
fool as he looks he would have to be
a big fool indeed. By-the-by, what
was that joke at the deanery on Sun
day afternoon? You were close to him
all the time, and l was pinned in the
inner drawing"
Bootles began to laugh Immediate
ly.
"Well, you know that some of the
Bishops people were at the Cathedral,
and went into the deanery afterwards |"
"Yes! !' cried several voices.
Gas soon as Lucy put his nose in
side the room, he was promptly taken
possession of by the eldest Miss Jones,
and as promptly tackled on the ODE
ceased Wife's Sister Bill"
"What do you think of the Deceas-
ed Wife's Sister Bill Mr.. Lucy?"
Miss Jones asked, with an engaging
smile. She's awfully like the Bishop,
is Miss Jones.
"Just shows her teeth in the same
way" laughed Hartog. "Well, 60
on!
"Well, she certainly is not hand
some," Bootles admitted, "nor yet
very young, but really she gave poor
Lucy such a killing look out of the
corners of her eyes that really 1 be-
gan to think she would hood him on
the spot.
Lucy looked up, with his head on
one side, and with his most reflective
air of wisdom, just as if he were
blessed with an extra quanti-
ty of downright stupidity and cunning
and she was harder nut to
crack than had ever crossed his path
before"
"In which he wasn't very far out of
it," put in Harkness, with dry laugh.
swell, and what then p
"He looked at her full half min
ute," Bootles went on, "and then he
asked, in the most plaintive manner
"Is it a wriddle? L
nevah could guess a wriddle in all my
life. I'll give it up, please"
"'A riddle z echoed the Bishops
scornfully; of coarse not,
Mr.. Lucy; it's measure which they
are trying to pass through Parliament.
But they won't-the BENCH speak
ing in great, big, capital-letter style
of importance-'the BENCH will
never allow it,
Lucy looked politely interested.
GA measure-de-ah me !-you
don't say so, Miss Jones! And-er
how much does it measured
"It's Bill they are trying to get
through the House--the Upper
HouseP She began to get a little
cross over it-and, by-the-by, you fel-
lows all know what Miss Jones is
when she's cross" in an aside.
eyes, rather" answered voice,
amidst general laugh.
Bootles continued his story
"Oh bill 7 returned Lucy very
politely, and with great show of
surprise. Ter thought you said it
was measure! And how much-er
is the bill for, Miss Jones?'
"Miss Jones uttered an exclamation