The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-17
COUNTING 4 WIDOW.
An Hxhilaratins but Dangerous Pastime-
A Case In Point.

Il
j An Hxhil.ratins bat Dangerous Pastime-
A Case In Point.
There is any amount of fun in court
ing young girl who has not become
used to il She swallows all the soft
things fellow says, but when it comes
to popping the question or something
Of that kind, she gets frightened more
or less and hesitates and wants time to
considers, until there are enough loop
holes for her lover to slip out through
without the least bit of trouble, if he
happens to see some one he thinks he
could love shade or two better. Young
girls are timid, shy and in earnest, and
if fellow is not pretty certain he has
found precisely the angel he is looking
for, he can manage SO as to have the
refusal of her for year or more, and
at the same time keep his neck out of
the reach of breach-of-promisc suit,
when he happens to meet some other
sweet-faced angel that seems to him to
be better suited to his tastes.
1t is different with W dow. She gets
| rid of all her shyness n the earliest con-
venient opportunity, and finds out the
principal things she desires to know of
him before she allows him to get ac-
qua ntc1. The SCHOOLGIRL of sixteen
trusts herself to fine young fellow on
sixty or ninety days sight without
security. but the widow, ike a thrifty
wholesale house, goes out and examines
the mercantile reports concerning him,
and then sells to him on her own terms
for cash. She has him sized up before
he comes to market, and when she
looks rs if she were a very artleSS crea-
ture and fights shy of him whenever he
happens TO sit little close to her on
the sofa. there are ten chances to one
that he will never look any farther, but
will buckle right up to her and put the
question fairly and squarely. and when
he has done so, she is not going to trem-
bic all over and blush and ask for a
week or month in which to make up
her mind. She Will just wind her arms
around his neck and look up into his
face with a melting gaze. and before he
has had time to catch his breath, he
will find himself nailed to the cross with
Eyes" that pierccs him to his very
soul.
once had friend have him not
at present writing. but there is living
remains of widow in possession o h IN
He was masher. He had beautiful
coai-blark hair that clustered about his
whitcned brow in massive curls, and he
was the p2ssesSor of one of the most
kissable mu-tacheS that ever decorated
t.e lip of human dude. He had
broken more hearts than all nv other
&C iuaintanceS, and was going 10 college
smashing youthful female affections and
re- cl ng in more than tubfull of gr.-
ish love, when a new girl came to the
school. Nobody suspected the truth
concerning her Nobody would ever
look for widow in a school. and vet
she had in a moment of passion. bewid-
owed herself the worst way. Ny friend
made up his mind to perpetra.e against
her cold. cruel and heartless mash.
He watched his opportunity, and one
day, when he and she were left alone
in the hallway by Il strange accident.
he told her she was the prett est girl he
had ever seen. She retorled by in
timatiug that he was bold. bal boy,
and she had made up her mind to have
nothing whatever TO do with him.
He assured her that she was hear
less and cruel. and VIXEN he saw
large tears courSing down her cheeks,
he relentcd and rttracte,l his rash re-
mark. and she forgave m and they
shook hands. He afie,ward told me
in confidence that the moment he felt
her tlutterng hand in his. he could not
resist the temptation to squeeze it that
came over him. She gently returned
the pre- sSure, and from that moment
my friend was not himself. He was
her slave, so he says with his own lips.
specify whose lips he said it with, be-
cause l do not want the impression that
the lips of any innocent and inoffensive
person were mixed up in the affair. to
prevail. Time wore on, as it often
does in cases like this. My friend. find
ing that he could not get with: n four
feet of her, proposed to marry her. She
accepted h IN. he drew her to his bosom
for one fond embrace One OF the
teachers happened to come along at
just that moment, and when the young
widow explained the whole matter by
con 'essng what had happened. my
friend could do no more than admit the
truth Of he. remarks. This supplied
the evidence that sealed his doom. He
is not MASKING this year. He is dis
consolately pushing babv wagon
loadei with pair Of his predecessors
posthumous offspring up and down the
streets, while a very pretty woman who
was widow in college walks by his
SIDE to the skating rink and leaves him
to feed the rest of the family from
bottle while he sits mood ly in an out
of-the-way corner and ste glides grace
fully over the waxed floor with blonde
professor of the art.
1t is pretty safe for young man to
court maiden alone and unarmed, but
whenever he undertakes to storm the
castle of widows affections he needs
help. He wants a detachment of law
yers and detail of detectives at his
elbow, and should have a dynamite
bomb, several knives. a bottle of prus-
sic acid and two revolvers within reach,
SO if anything occurs that is likely to
cut off his escape, he can commit sew
eral varieties of suicide without serious
ly d:scommoding himself or the COM
munity.
do not mean to cast any reflections
upon maidens in general or any given
widow in particular. but l say that
every young man should know just
what he would rather do before he goes
to court one, and when he has made up
l.. - E. L