davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
truth Of this assertion demonstrated ~.
2 general Improvement in health and
animal spirit. B - 1-'..4' -


Aonksys Wreel.ise 1aalreoa rraiae.
Between = place called Niddivunda
and Herebully there Is : large tone
which Il well-known to be infested with
monkeys. Having no other mode of
occupying their dull hours, thew are
bent upon trying to destroy the Tumkur
line. 1t would appear that these ami.
mails. about fifty or sixty, form them
solves into two patches; the Y range them
selves systematically, one half on one
rail and the other half on the other.
They begin by first removing the earth
from the sides of the rails. Then they
arrive at the difficulty of nut and
bolts, which. though they examine then
very minutey, they cannot get over.
On the approach of the up or down
train they wait till the engine is within
a few yards, when, with the utmost
GOODNESS, they simply jump on one side
TILL the train has passed, and then re-
sumo their work. A remarkable In
stance occurred on one of these &C.
casions. As the engine was approach
ing, the mokeys made their usual iumbs.
with the exception of one, who persisted
IN remaining on the line, the engine BY
this time being very near. Five or six
monkeys, seeing the danger one of their
number was in, made sudden rush and
dragged him of, some laying hold of
him by the tail. others by the legs; any
how, they saved him, They are now
styled the Niddivunda gangmen by the
guards drivers.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
Upper Teeth.

Representative John J. O'Neill, of
Missouri, is veritable son of the soil.
Among his granger constituents he is a
granger himself, and what he does not
know about horses, cattle and patch
products is not worth knowing. Dur
ng his last campaign while he was
out canvassing, he met one of his far
mer constituents driving a COW. He
offered to buy the cow. The farmer
was not anxious to sell, but said he
wonld take $65 for her. Drive her
right up to my house, raid O, NELL.
"and LII be there to pay you the mon
ey. The farmer, however, suddenly
regretted that he had consented to part
with his favorite cow, and began to
think of some way to get out of the
trade. Suddenly bright idea struck
him. He said, LET me tell you, Mr..
O'Neill, want to be honest with YOU.
The COW If gentle and a good mixer,
but there is one thing about her that /
ought to tell you Of. She has no upper
teeth"
"Of course that changes the trade"
said O'Neil. You wouldn't expect
me to take cow with such deficit as
that. But you bring me good mixer
with sound upper teeth and Ill buy
her," When the story got out there
was great excitement in the cabbage
end of his district and The farmers
turned out against him en- masse.
. NELL learned to his horror that cows
DO not have any upper teeth. He tried
to explain but it was no use. The
grangors sworo they would not have !
congressman who was '..blamed fool
enough to believe that COWS have upper
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

the responsibility on the messenger 81
:; :sn a,!r !. Who Z oarelsss enough . 1t
1--WE got some singular freight, .
HI. Mckinney continued. To-day
We received two prairie dogs from
Columbus, Nebraska. They were sent
to lady in this city, but she refused
to take them. and they arc now down
You won't keep them . year with
will youa'' .
mot very much. We will notify
tho shipping Office to find the sender
and get instructions from him. II he
doesn't send any, We will sell the
prairie dogs for charges. In fact, they
will be treated like perishable pro-
Perty. such as strawberries and the
like which are sold ON account of the
owner.'
Do you often ship strange thingsp''
''Yes. We do 1t all the time. We ship
mon keys, elephants, camels, race
horses. and every other conceivable
object. We also have to ship a great
many dead bodies.''
''Who feeds the animalsp''
We do. Good care is taken of them"
If they die on your hands are you
responsible for themp"
No. The owners sign a release
MIR. Mckinney said that valuables,
such as money and the like. were
shipped in safes.
Il would rather not talk much about
that" he said, ''because the informa-
ton might get to those who would use
it for criminal purposes Some COM
panies pack the safe at One Office and
ship it directly to another Office. only
the two agents knowing the COM
bination. In other companies the mes
sengers know the combination. The
messengers are all under bonds.''
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
: :
tn

: :
''stand back. gentlemen! Clear the
track" shouted the police. and g the
quickly gathering crowd surged back,
steamer No. 4 came up the street, tho
magnificent black horses striking fire
from the pavement.
But hold! A wheel comes of! the
steamer Is overturned, and the brave
firemen are picked up bleeding and
senseless! :.
An investigation revealed the fact
that in oiling the steamer that morning
the steward had neglected to put in
the linch-pin. A little neglect on his
part had caused loss of half million
dollars. The busy marts of trade are
full of men who are making the same
fatal mistake. They neglect their kid
neys, thinking they need no attention.
whereas if they made occasional use of
Warmers safe cure they would never
say that they don't feel quite well;
that tired feeling bothers them; that
they are plagued with indigestion;
that their brain refuses to respond at
call; that their nerves areuall unstrung.
Fire journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
Geysers Of the Yellowstone:

The Geysers at the headwaters of the
Yellowstone and Missouri rivers are
the most wonderful on the globe. The
country comprising portions of Idaho,
Wyoming and Montana is dotted with
groups of hot springs, the remains of
most remarkable volcanic manifest
atoms.
The largest Of these geysers are
known as the Beehive and the Giant
ess. The former is a silicious cone 8 it.
in height, 20 #. in circumference at the
base, and 8 by #. in diameter at the
top, with an oval orofice 8 by 2 it. in
diameter. When in action, which &C.
ours about once in "a hours, it throws
column of water entirely filling the
crater to a height of PIG it. The erup-
ton lasts about 18 minutes.
The Giantess has an oval aperture IS
by rs it. in diameter. The inside of
the tube is corrugated. When not in
action no water can be seen in it's ba-
sin, although I have used a sample
package of Piso's Remedy for Catarrh,
and am so much pleased with its results
that l desire SOC package, for which
find enclosed postage stamps to pay for
the same.
ALLEN BUCKM1NsTER.
Peterboro, N. H., July 10, 1856.
its sides are visible to the depth of 100
#. When an eruption is about to take
place the water rises in the tube, with
much spluttering and Kissing, sending
off vast clouds of steam. 1t will stand
sometimes for several minutes within
40 or so #. of the surface, foaming and
gurgling, and squirting jets Of hot
water nearly to its mouth. When it
finally bursts forth, it throws up COL
umn Of water the full size of it's aper-
ture to the height of 60 it,, and through
this rises five or six smaller jets, vary
ing from 6 to Is in. in diameter, to the
height of 250 #. The eruption, which
takes place at irregular intervals, con-
tinues for about 20 minutes.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
A Clover Critic Has Noticed:

A Clever Critic Has Noticed:
That purses will hold nickels as we'll
as gold.
That all men are honest when well
watched.
That there is more gratitude in dogs
than there is in men.
That poverty is the worst banner
that man can put up.
That a young wife with an old man
is like Ii ght in sick room.
That the most enduring love is that
of q mother for her children.
That nearly every Office seeker is the
right man in the right place.
That mock philanthropy is like
giving mermaid pair of boots.
That life is too short to give young
men advice as to whom they should
marry.
That most men choose a wife as a
child does doll, no matter if the head
is filled with sawdust.
That diamonds, silks, furs, broad
cloth, velvet, gold watches and chains
are often bought with other people s
money.-B0rber's Gazette.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
Oahonian Warfare,

Tho system Of ''warfaro'' followed
BY tho Dahomians Is the usual barbar-
ous one ct surprise. When the king
declares war-a Formally which he
carefully observes year after year-he
rarely tells even the chief ''caboceers''
the name Of tho town he intends to a.
tack. The army marches out, and
when within . days journey or 80 of it,
unhappy objective point silence at pain
OF instant death 10 enjoined, and no
hres are permitted to be lighted. All
stragglers are taken prisoners, and the
army 10 led through . road cut through
the bush, and not along the regular
highways. The town is surrounded in
dead OF night, and just before daybreak
. rush is made. and every man, woman
and child not killed in the melee is cap
tured. II possible, and sent to the Da-
homian capital, Abomey, where some
grace the succeeding custom (annual
sacrif1cial ceremonies), and others are
sent 40 slaves to distant parts of the
kingdom. Cannibalism, or something
that approaches it very nearly, enters
into the rites of the ninth or concluding
ceremony of the yearly custom. Four
men, known as the menduton, or can
nibals, each furnished with sharpened
sticks by way of fork and knife, are
stationed in front Of the platform from
which the victims are thrown before de-
capitation. When the first captive is
beheaded they take the body and cut
Oft pieces of the flesh, which they rub
with palm oil and roast over a fire
kindled in the square before the plat
form. The human flesh is then skew
cred on the pointed sticks and carried
around before the crowd, after which
these fiends parade before the state
prisoners, and 60 through the action of
eating. the sickening morsels. They
chew the human meat before the ter
ritied captives, but do not swallow it;
and when they have worked upon thu
fears OF the poor wretches for sufti-
Gent time they retire, and splitting out
the chewed flesh, take strong native
medicine, which acts like an emetic;
and it is to be sincerely hoped that the
dose IL by no means stinted. Does it
not seem difficult to realize that in this
year of grace 1885 so atrocious q mon
archy as favors such horrors as these
exists and has its being within a few
miles of territory living under our in
duence, and constantly visited by our
representatives from Lagos?-Pa1 Nall
GQzeAe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
THANKSGIVING.

For The hay and ths corn and Tie wAeet
that h rsaped,
For the labor well done and the barns that
are heapsd,. --
For the SUN and the dsw and the sweet
honey comb, ~ -
For tho rose and the song and tho harvest
brought home,-
Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving!
For tho trade and the skin and tho wealth
in our land,
For the cunning and strength Of tho work
ing mans hand,
For the good that our artists and poets
have taught,
For the friendships that hope and Affection
have brought
Thanksgivingi Thanksgivingi
For the homes that with pursst affection
are blsst,
For the season Of plenty and wsl deserved
rest,
For our country extending from ssa unto
sea,
The land that is known - the land Of the
free.
Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving!
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
! isEeAR BirrrRs

- the great Blood PuriAer and Life-1av.
ing Principle: . Gentle Purgstive ard Tonic: q
perfect Renovator and Invigorator of the system
In Vinegar Bttter0 there u vitality bun
no alcoholic or mineral poison.
Disonses Of the 81 in, of whatever name
Or nature, are literally dug up and carried out o1
the system In a short time BY the bitterA
Vinegar BitterD alays feverishness. Il
relieves, and in time cures rheumatism, Neu-
ralgia, Gout, and similar painful diseases.
Vinegar Btttero cures Constipation and
prevents DiarrhBA.
Never before has Q medicine been com.
pounded possessing the power of Vlx1sAR Br1.
TIERS to heal the sick.
Send for either Of our valuable reference
books for ladies, for farmers, for merchants our
on lntemperance and Tobacco which last should
b read BY every child and youth In the land.
Any two Of the above books mailed freo O
receipt Of four cents for registration fees-
RH.McDonald Drug Co.. ISL Washington St., M.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
Roast H0rso In En1land.

There are many people who prefer
horse to beef, but as it is a point in dis
pute, a practical step for solving the
doubt is being taken in Manchester. A
hundred horses are slaught cred in that
city every week, and cut up and sold as
butchers meat" The trade is car
ried on in the poor districts, where the
steaks find ready purchasers at prices
ranging from tivepence to eightpence
per pound. There can be no pretense
for saying that the flesh of healthy
horse is not fit for human food. There
are epicures who prefer it to the choic-
est beef, but it has been their rare good
fortune to get "a dainty DISH which
does not ordinarily come into the mar
ket.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
Eject of Discipline.

While Andy johnson was Military
Governor of Tennessee, the inadvertent
playing of ''Dixie'' by lady led up to
what was called a riot. Listening to
the jingling of ''Dixie'' on the piano, a
soldier made an uncomplimentary and
offensive remark, and was Immediately
Knocked down by citizen. The SOL
der recovered and proceeded in quick
time to bounce the citizen. Other citi-
zens rallied and the soldier called for
help. A dozen men in blue went into
the fight and rcinforcements came to
the other side. The provost guard
interfered and arrested the refractory
civilians. They were overpowered by
the crowd and driven to shelter. The
crowd swelled to thousands and be-
came riotous. For an hour il held
possession of the street for two or three
squares, and it seemed that the serious
trouble so often prophesied was coming.
There was intense excitement in the
city, and one of the regiments stationed
near was ordered to the scene of the
riot. This was one of the oldest and
one of the finest regiments in the
service.
The regiment came down the cross
street at platoon front and at double
quick. The steady, firm, quick step
on the stones of the street had queer
effect on the rioters. They listened in
quiet, and when the first platoon
wheeled with splendid precision on to
the street occupied by the crowd, the
civilians in front gave back without q
word. On came the soldiers and back
went the rioters, until those in the rear
stopped the way. and the more daring
began to throw stones. The platoon
went suddenly into line and the COM
mand closed up at company front. the
noses of the men in the front rank al
most touching the noses of the rioter.
The only word of audible command
had been ''halt," and when this was
given. the soldiers stood at shoulder,
seemingly intent only on having their
lines straight. They seemed to ignore
the disorderly mass in front until the
voice of the officer in command thun-
dered out, ''Attent shun.:' They
listened quietly to the instructions,
which were to fire one volley and then
clear the street with the bayonets, and
at the word every rifle was at ready.
Then the officer spoke to the crowd,
and in two minutes the street was
clear and not a shot was fired.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
TUFTS HAIR DYE

A Pittsburg writer makes the asser-
ton that in fifty years, or perhaps in
half that time, coal will not be carried
from the mines to its place of destina-
ton in bulk, but only its actual heat en-
ergy will be transported, and that by
wire, a process which, he says, can be
accomplished by converting the coal in
to heat, the heat into motion and the
motion into electricity; a storage bat
terry in Cincinnati would take it up as
fast as generated at the mines, and
from this battery it could be taken and
converted back into motion and heat,
and changed into light.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

Young wife Gust home from the
cooking schooD-I feel so encouraged.
Miss Parloa complimented me on my
progress to-day. Butpoor Miss Smith!
| am really sorry for her. She tries
hard, but she doesn't seem to get on
at all. Young husband-You must re-
member, my dear. that Miss Smith mas
no one to practise on.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

teeth. : - ! result O.Neill Va IL
most ovorthroWn. He was only 70
elected y the skin d his upper teeth.
Since tho election ho has bought. 4
whole library on the anatomy Of do
mestic animals, aud is determined
that no granger shall catch him nap
ping next time. ..s &: -. :
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
On tho Eve OF Boyhood.

A gentleman passing along the street
saw two children, apparently FIVE and
six years old, playing in the gutter. The
elder wore pantaloons, while the young
or still chung to infantile dresses. Stop.
ping, he addressed the boy with panta-
looms: "Arc you both boys?" "No," was
the answer! I'm one, and Johnny s
going to be one next week."
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

THERE Is NO PART OF LIFE CITADEL
where the enemy can make r. lodgment
that the VINEGAR BITTERs' will not
find bin, and put him to rout. Innpurtty
Of blood Is the parent of disease; the
liver, the stomach, the lungs, the nerves,
every vital organ is affected primarily
from this cause, and in this direction
the VINEGAR BITTERs acts with mag
ical influence.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

"Heloise'-A good way to get Abe
lard's measure for the Christmas slip
pers is to tell him you have made bet
with tho hateful thing next door that
he has the smallest feet in the ward.
Another great scheme is to anchor the
dog in the path from the front gate.
and make Ate walk across the lawn in
the snow. Then in the morning you
can 90 out and rope in the footprints
with clothes-line, and construct the
goloshes outdoors if you wish.-bnfa!o
EEpress.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31
y DREAM,
oBuu L,onnAIHI1.

I : =.
Belov'd-'tis but Q droam-yot sim lee
The w1tchtng beauty Of your face % fair.
! watch again the light that newer dies
Upon the FOLLOW glory Of your hair.
l gaze into the eyes that wrought nv Voc,
The EIay eyes flashing meath their heavy
I watch The hue that eiows upon your cheek,
Tho sweetest rosebud knows no fairer
tinge. -
And yet its but dream-the taco lov'd
Will, perfect, lie no moro against INV own:
The heart has ceas'd to beat Tor me, ana yet
Ny love has never, never weaker grown.
How We oan love! IL woman only know
Tho r. RG"'' she holds to work Us good Or
The happiness and peace her smiles may
The sorrows that her voice has power to
still
Surely she could not prove to NJ unkind,
Surely she would not win us to betray!
Knowing that she can give us life or death
And turn our darkest night into bright
day!
Sweet forgive you-tho' your lovely face
Breaks In upon my lonely, uniov'd rest
i have no pow'r to judgeI love you still,
Altho' You broke the heart. within my
breast.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

Keeping . diary is not what it is
cracked up to be. Thirty days Of 20
curacy h about the limit of the en-
durance; but DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup
has never vet disappointed any one
who has used it; secure . bottle for
that awful cold.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

''Ihave used one bottle of your medi-
cine, Athlophoros, and found great re-
lief from it for neuralgia" writes
Julia +. Hall, from Frankfort, Mich,
in ordering two bottles of the remedy
to be sent to her as soon as possible.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

''Yaas,' said young Smythe, II sup.
pose everything created has some use
but. 'pon me honah. il is duced hard to
believe sometimes don't cher know?'
EYES," she replied, looking him over
critically, lit is. indeed?'- Harvard
Lampoon.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

''Give you a reason on compulsion?"
Why of course will. am cured of
rheumatism, which has kept me en-
shaved for twenty years, bv using Sal
walton Oil, which cost me only 25 cents.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

It Is . pleasure and satisfaction to manv
to learn that Aliens Lung Balsam, that
standard family medicine for coughs,
Group, and all lung diseases, can now be-
procured at &C., &c., and Sl.0O . bottle at
any drug store.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

The best aakle Boot and Collar Pal.
a :! made q sine ana leather. ny
GhogA :sss.' r -.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

The ''Favorite Prescription of DR..
Pierce cures ''female weakness and
kindred affections. By druggists.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
Robinson e. Cary.
Rogers, Willis + Co.
Campbell. Walsh 4 JiisoD.
WOOD IND IRON PUMPS AND PLCNSEgS
SUPPLIES.
II. p. Ru<e 4 Co.
SCALES, WlNDElLLS ETC.
1aarbanks, Morse 4 Co.
MILLINERY AND FANCY GOODS
4. Oppsnheimer Co.
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS
y. J. Dyer : BRO.
FRUITS, NUTS, ETC
y. Rresley& 90.
FURNITURE.
Qui.sy . Abort
CRACKERS AND CONFECTIONERY.
Dsrrisford b. d q. Co.
Friedman d Lewis.
DOORS, SASH AND BLINDS.
Boha n anafact nrimg Co.
T. A. Abbott 4 Co.
WAGONS AND AGRICULTURAL IMP EEAERT&
| Mast, Buford 4 Burw-u Co.
G. II. Thurnton + son.
81. Paul storage. Forwarding . I.p.s-
WINES AND LIQUORS.
Perkins, Lyons 4 Go.
Geo. Benz 4 Co.
GRAIN AND C0AIlsSI0a..
We; y. &: v az: s;,.. 4 Co.
FLOUR.
st. Paul ROLES Mail Co.
ROOFING AND BUILDERS SUPPLIES
seeihese Roofing 4 Corniee CO.
LUMBER
| J. r. 0Fibbsn Lambsr O..
Mood 4 Maxwell. =.
/ L. r. sam - alt.
g. II. Nelson Lumber CO.
| ". =. FiAeld e..
John Martln Lumber CO.
| BarroDnott Lumber Co.
Bohn manufacturing Co.
LINE, CEMENT AND PLASTER.
| The Northwestern inc Co.
FUEL.
d. Paul Pacific Coal 3 Iroa O.
| NoEthwestorn fuel Co.
TRUNKS. ETC
II. .. criDpsn &'Co.
SEWING MACHINES
Domestic =. n. ca.
STEAM FITTING, TOOLS AND SUoPLlEX
II r. Osborae.
GUNS, Hsfols AND SPORTING GOODS !
II. =. ka0no1y q Bsao. t
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1885-12-31

the Largest Music House In the Northwest.
w. j. DYER 4 BRO, st. Paul and Minneapolis
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-12-17
VHE SERMON ON THE MOUNT.

In the pictorial books the season one Ell
periences genuine pleasure coming upon this illustrated
edition The sermon the Mount which belongs to
high order its satisfactory Interpretation OF
the subject and the beauty of It's general design careful
detail The book made delightful wry full page
nterpersed with vignees Illustrating
set richly designed borders which
over and aga They far transcend what is merely
decorative and full OF imagination and feeling Mr..
Fenns pictures OF actual places In the Holy Land besides
striking the keynote Of veraoy which puts In a mood
whole story under fresh lights full OF beauty
and charm. W inclined 10 like everything in the book.
although u the ways In which the beatudes
interpreted conscious OF ncongruiies and wish
nat certain illustrations had made way for designs showing
unity OF conception the artists Any mention
tho book which failed TO include MT Copeand's work
the text would be altogether inadequate for 1t Is
very perfect beautiful full Of surprises and delightful
quannesses and helps To make the book what actually is
complete whole which really wishes Of what
illustrated book should be"t Lppncotrs Magazine.
Price. In cloth. elegant 81 So IN morocco or tree calf
SIS. Sodby all book SELLERS mailed paid, by the pub
fishers ROBERTS BROTHERS. BOSTON.