Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-07-15


with Which Grandma Used to Tuck You
In.
Bgrls''s IN B,u0syn Eggis.
Young Fuunyman. No. did not de
cline your Joke about the quilt containing
. POS. III strtches because 1t was 50 much
hluuier than anything | can write myself
That was one reason, it is true. When a
correspondent sends me anything funnir,
han my own stuff | decline to insert il
over the correspondents name. Bat do
not. as sou assert, r-iec, it in mean spirit
OF petty jealousy aud envy. Oh, no;
stea, L. ! chuck il right into my own fan.
NJ column, as one of my own | appro-
pirate all tue funny things sent in by funny
correspondents Just as camly as the bust
ness manager appropriates the stamps ID
closed for be return OF the manuscript that
never returns Ne and the business mana
-e- has sott things OF it, speaking after the
Hos,orese dialect Nor did intimate that
& was 100 old. That is the Quilt was.
B.;I declined to publish libel upon
Tia, good old quilt and the dear, good old
woman who made it. There is no guile in
the woman or the qli!. That guile Is no
patchwork fraud aud comforter. 1t isn't
cue OF these things that seem . weigh
ninety pounds when ,ou first crawl under it
and It you wake upin the night, shivering
g. the rate Of sixtyige miles q minute,
frozen stuff as an Introduction from chin 70
ius,ep. % find tCrty-iye pounds of cotton in
each end of that comforter and moth hing IN
tn. middle while the old thing rides you
Ike pair Of great saddle bags. Aud these
old wou.u' quilts are never made scant,
either, ike Jhcse decisions that grace the
cues, chamber, that are narrow in one dl-
rec,iou and shorr in the other, so that YOU
hay" to coil up Ike snake to get under
them.
Nor is il one of these toruler,ors With al
WAYS a small hole torn in them, into the
which every time you turn you thrust toe
and ei'her dislocate your toe or tear the hole
bigger. Nor is it one Of rh"ss terrors, a
Quilt so much longer than it IS wide hat Il
YOU draw it over you leng,hwise you feel as
though you were covered with dress braid
or he bell cord, and if you twist 1t around
sideways you think you are trying to cover
yourself with a whole bolt OF muslin
stretched clear out and only threequarters
of q ward wide. An, no, Young Funny
man, the Quilt that grandma makes Is none
OF these, Dear Old grandma, ninety @ht
years old, reads without glasses and eats
pie with her knife never had day sickness
or wore hustle in her life, and doesn't be
hrve in sewing machines or the revised
Why the quilt shr masses is as big and warm
as her own blessed old heart. GoG can tuck
it under your feet until it comes no 10 your
shoulder blades and then tuck the o her end
in around your shoulders until it reaches
down 10 your feet again. and then you can
toss and kick and tumble and ro!, around
underj Tor a week before you can find Jour
Way out.
The patchwork Guilt is generally, ont
quite enormously. supposed to be q family
his .ry. This is a piece Of Aunt Susan. 8
dress and this is piece OF grandma vest,
and this is piece of ma 5 old dress, because
with six girls in the family there are no new
dresses for ma; these four squares came
from he girls new dresses, and there the
family records end. Tn" other g patches
The girls begged of the nelgh5ors, stole
from other girls and Obtained from the dry
goods CLERKS under the specious preteuse OF
showing them to ma, TO See il she ! ed
them, before ordering DR. IS pattern, the
ingariable experience Of the poor clerk beng
hat ma didn't like them.