The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-02-05
ENTERTAINING.
Btu Nye Writes Learnedly on This Particu-
Iar Fine Art.


Butter is the mature fruit of the full
blown cow. 1t is the greatest effort OF
her life. The COW tolls not, neither
does she spin, yet / say unto you that
Solomon in all his glory could not beat
her on handmade, orrather milkmaid,
butter This subtle joke l have re-
paired and newly upholstered for use
during the winter.
Butter comes from the cow in a
liquid state. 1t is quite a trick to win
her confidence so that she will yield it
up to a total stranger. 1 once sought
to WOO the tactical fluid from the milk
retort of large speckled COW to whom
[ was a comparative stranger. She
wasn't one of those blOOded COWS that
looked as though they have been cut
out of 4 sheet of paper with pair of
scissors. She was a low COW, with
coarse instincts, born in obscurity.
Her brow was low, but she wore her
tail high and she was naughty oh, so
baughty. The young man who had
hitherto acquired the milk from this
cow desired one evening to HE him
away to neighboring village, where
he might trip the light bombastic toe
till the wee Sma' hours anent the twa.'
Quotation from poet who was poor
speller.) He wanted me TO milk his
large, spcckled, plebeian COW, and l
said | would. The movement was
certainly ill-advised. l undertook to
do as [ had agreed, but failed. From
the moment | entered her stall and
made commonplace remark to her, |
knew our acquaintance would not lead
to warm attachment. Somehow [
felt constrained and uneasy in her So
cietv from the moment we met until
loving friends pulled me out through
the stable window and brought me back
to consciousness. | shall never under
take to milk strange COW again until
the sign is right. So far the sign has
not been right.
| might be sent on a polar eXpedi-
ton and get stranded on an iceberg,
with 40 other alternative than to milk
a cow or eat an old friend, but should
hate to tackle the COW unless the friend
was very old friend, indeed.
Butter is produced by eNpunging the
juice from rare and costly chemical
known as cream. Cream is the bead
on the milk. Milk is known as dry
and extra dry. A good milkman will
always ask You whether you want your
milk wet or otherwise.
An old well digger named Grady
told me about going over into
Southern Indiana at one time to
dig a well for 4 man named With
um. Withum was said to be very
close. He was the most contiguous
man in Indiana His wife used to skim
the milk on one side and then turn it
over and skim the bubbles of. 1t was
a constant struggle between Withum
and his wife to see which would be the
meaner.
The first day that Grady was there
they had a round ball of butter about
as big as lemon and as hard as Phar-
aohs heart. The butter knife had a
handle that would turn every time any
one tried to get q lick at the butter,
and the little round ball would flop
over on the other side and smile. Now
and then a hired man would reach over
with his own knife and make a slash at
it, but the butter, confident of its own
strength, would tip over with a dull
thud, and the man would heave a sigh
and give it up. Then another farm hand
would make wild dash at it, but would
burst into tears and quit. Finally
Grady, who had watched this perform
ance several days, jabbed his fork
down through the middle of the gel
low chunk and successfully cut it in
two. In the center was a small. solid
wooden top. There" says Grady,
I've found out what the blamed thing
is wound on anyhow. "-BU Nyd ia
Louisville Courier Journal