Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-09
BRIGHT BITS.

MISS CoRsoN has shown the normal school
girls how to roast chicken. Some apt South
ern African should now show them how to
catch it.-PhtLadelphtd Ne1os.
CHARLES CRANsToN, of Hannibal, Mo-.
dreamed ths t he would be killed by a load of
coal being DUN oed on him from 4 coal car.
On Wednesday he was killed in just that way.
Moral: Beware Of lobster salad.--Neoo York
Granite.
"AND them's what folks calls handsome, are
theyF SAID farmer, as he watched a couple of
hanson cabs rolling down the street. Gwen,
l wonder what they'd think if they could see
a new wagon with red wheels" '-0htcaGo
Eedger.
"YIs," said Pat, "Oi've signed two pledges
wan to the praist an wan to his Honor"
"ICs Tome man yez are, Pat" renlied
Bridget. "an' do yez think yen kape Thin"
"Begorra, OPl thry an kape wan av thin,
anyhow. "-Neto York Times.
AMONG all the complaints Of the Illinois
legislative tunketers against the high prices
en- urged in New Orleans for tea and coffee and
milk, 1t IS strange that no word reaches US as
TO the market value of corn whisky and poker
chlps IN the Or scent G Christian al Work.
A CHILD with three eyes has been born in
ONO. 1t will be able to cast an extra eye 80
wlndWard for an ONCE, but the greatest adj
vantage OF having three eyes will become APP
parent when the child gets old enough to at
tend three rnged clrcus.-N0rriSt0Wn
HerdId.
COMMERCIAL STREET MAN wears the
champion belt for meanness lust now. His
clerk is an expert penman, and was praticing
his art IN shading the letters on the addresses
OF some envelopes when his employer. hap
penlng to overlook him, said: mr.. DaybOOk,
| would not shade those letters; it wastes the
INK awfully." -BO,t ton Commercial BWlJetiB.
WHEN lovely woman throws a rock,
4 cOntumacious hen to scare.
1t gives tn artistic eye a shock
To mark her attitude and air.
But be not TO your danger b md,
If You should be beside her then;
AT once place OF safety find.
mat Is to say, stand near the hen.
THE New Chicago Roard Of Trade Oh.
papa said the brokers' little daughter, as
they walked 10 the Lake Shore denot ssyhat
= speudld building that is-that one with the
clock in the stceAe and The snip on top and
the stained glass windows, l mean. What
church Is iL." THAT int church, lis it
a Sunda ~ school peOm~ NO, not exactly.
my DEAR though believe the precious little
ambs are sometimes taken in there" Chj-
cGgo H=rGJd
CHILDREN have funny ways of expressing
themselves. Johnnie, who was born and
reared ia the city, went up to Portsmouth, a
nice little town on the Ohio, not long ago, and
when he came home he had much TO tell.
"By phe way Johnnie" asked his father,
lis POri -mouth as big as Ciucnnati?"
"WCu, no, papa, l guess not. That is
there amt nearly SO many houses. nut
there's ever so much more world. n-Aerc6dnt
lFdcetgF.
ARMY METEOROLOGICAL army officer who
had been dismissed from he army for duph-
eating MS cash account was seen walking on
the street Of san Antonio with a lady. Sew
eral United Stairs officers in the window Of
the ub saw the couple, and Col. Mountain
Howtzer remarked to Mai. Blow: II can't
comprehend how he has the check 10 be seen
on the streets with woman who would so far
| forget herself rs to walk ont with man Of
his reputation. "-1eras S{ftiags.
On, mamma, dear mamma, come home with
me now
I wonder what papa will think!
He'll meet you tonight with frown on his
brow
For staying SO long at the rink.
No lamu has been lighted tonight in the hall
lis dark and the babg's awake.
And-there! l was sure, dearest ma, you
would fall
Some night your poor neck you will break.
Come home. come home.
Oh, mamma, dear mamma, come home,