davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
why,,' Not Trot HIM One Heat Now !


Col. Ingersoll says he would have
given Moses better commandments than
those the great Hebrew received on
Mount Sinai. Well, now, it isn't tco
late to sail in and beat Moses record as
a lawgiver. The colonel can make his
entry now and start in any time he wants
to. He has told us SO often what he
would have done if he lad been there,
people are beginning to feel little curl.
GUS TO see what. he can DO now that he
is here. Thisis 6goodplace1and good
time to start. Aman Of Moses ability
as a leader and soldier and a lawgiver
could not fail to make marked impress
sion on the world even in these busy days
of gallop and gulp. Any one of us could
have done great deal better than Moses
at the palace of Pharaoh, at the Red
Sea, at Mount Sinai, at Meribah, in all
the wilderness-in our minds; but We
weren't there, and now all that we can
do is to beat the record now. And with
all our superior advantages that ought
to be very simple thing, and we would
all be greatly pleased to see Col. Inger-
soil do it. lie says he could have done
/. over 5000 years ago, and he must be
much wiser and better equipped by this
time. Moses has done his best and gone
of the track. Everything is clear for
the other contestant. We are all wait
ing. Time, Robert !-BURDErrE.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
MISCELLANEOUS.


before they are married shewill care
fully turn down his coat collar when it
is awiy, but afterward she'll jerk it down
into position as if she was throwing
door mat out OF the window. ~.
There is no use fighting nature. Dr.
Kennedy's Fayorite Remedy does moth
ing of that kind. 1t does net make the.
sufferers who trust it worse under the
pretense of doing them good. 1t acts
tenderly and in sympathy with what
nature herself Is trying to accomplish.
Do you have trouble with your digestion,
your liver or your kidneys. Does rheu-
matism pain and rack you? Is your
head thick and heavyp 1t will charm
away these ailments almost before you
are aware.
The Inflated yacht Mohawk, form
erly belonging to Commondore Garner,
met recently with another accident,
which, although slight, will not give
her better reputation for luck. She
ran into the German bark Magdalene
and carried away her jibboom.
The soothing and restorative effects
OF Ayers Cherry Pectoral are realized
at once in all cases of colds, coughs,
throat or lung troubles, while its far
reaching and powerful healing qualities
are always demonstrated in the most
serious pulmonary disorders.
1T is estimated that 1000 Danes will
come to this country this year, most of
whom will settle in the Northwest.
Most of the immigrants from Denmark
are farmers in good circumstances. The
majority own farms, and when they
come to this country they bring consid-
cradle money with them.
The warm weather often has a de-
pressing and debilitating effect Hoods
Sarsaparilla overcomes all languor and
| lassitude.
The habit which frontier Post
masters have of carrying the mail around
in the pockets of their trousers veXes
the souls of the cowboys. When one of
the latter species has ridden 200 miles
after his mail and is told by the Post
| uluSttI . WIG ludJ thc pOoJ-OlHCO uto
gone after barrel of water and won't
be back for two days, the 'cow-puncher'
feels like complaining to the Govern
ment.
Stated by II. B. Cochran, druggist,
Lancaster, Pa: "Have guaranteed
over 300 bottles of Burdock Blood Bitters
for dyspepsia, sour stomach, bilious
attacks, liver and kidney troubles"
George w. Williams, the colored
man whom Secretary Bayard refused to
commission as Minister to Hayti, is
writing an historical novel.
Some Remarkable Cures of deafness
are recorded of Dr. Thomas Eelectric
Oil. Never fails to cpre earache.
-''What would you do if 1 should
die?" asked wife of husband, as she
laid her fair white arms around his neck.
'Well, really, my love, hadn' t thought
of it," he answered, Gbstractedly, "but
1 presume I'd bury you"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
1T WAS "POROUs. &"

Aclerk i'm hardware store was setting
things to right for tire business Of the
day, when citizen with gray locks and
a. self-satiffied look dropped in, and
kindly asked:
''Have you any four-quart porous
kettles2" 49,.
"Por6us kettlesP'' mused the clerk.
81 never heard of them"
"What.do you-eall these?' demanded
the citizen, as he nosed around and held
up a kettle. -.
That's porcelain kettle, sir" was
the reply; that's what you want, is itP''
"That's what want, if it is q porous
kettle" said the citizen.
eve call them porcelain" replied
the clerk. ...
"What right have you to call then
Why don't you call dog cat?"
"But how can iron be porous?" hum
bly, inquired the clerk.
GLOW can young man be foolr
shouted the citizen. "It has come to I
pretty pass when boy of your ag,
attempts to teach man of. my year
any thing! Don't you suppose l know
the difference between porcelain anC
porous?"
"Yes, sir"
"Well, then, here's your seventy-fiv,
cents for this porous kettle, and I'd lik,
TO have you send it around to the hOus,
right away"
The clerk had to submit. lie say
that a rich man can do anything, Will
a poor clerk is kept down.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
The Varieties of TIE cockscomb.

Probably but few who admire Il e
large, velvety, dark-crimson crests of
the cockscomb, are aware that these are
due to malformation which has become
fixed by cultivation. These combs or
crests are sometimes of enormous size;
some even have measured eighteen
inches across. They show no distinct
flowers. 1t not rarely happens that the
parts of plant, that are usually distinct
and separate, grow together; it is not
rare to find twin cucumbers, formed by
two which are united for their whole
length. This union often takes place
with stems. Squash vines are some
times found grown together for some
distance, and similar gyowth is often
seen in the asparagus. The Cockscomb,
Celosia cristata, is an annual, native
of the East Iwdies. and in its normal
state produces numerous erect branches,
terminated in time bv long spikes of
flowers. The numerous flowers thCm-
selves are small, and not at all snowy, but
Zach has at its Ease several bracts, or
loral leaves, which are highly colored.
These are usually dark-crimson, but
here are white, yellow, and rose-colored
3arieties. In the form cultivated as
'ockscomb, the stems and branches are
Inited and soldered together, as it were,
nto a confused mass, which is some
lines very wavy on the top. In the
branching form, only the Coweri on the
lower portions of the branches are
fertile; accordingly those on the lower
parts of the crest only, produce seeds.
The velvety texture of the crests is
;aused by the ends of. the numerous
bracts that appear at the surface.
Though. these crests are monstrosities,
he popularity is well fixed. This is
one of the oldest of garden plants, hav-
ing been cultivated in English gardens
for over three hundred years. The
variety known as Japanese, is peculiarly
rich in color. To raise The largest crests,
and of the most brilliant color, the soil
must be excessively rich. The finest
and largest specimens are produced by
growing the plants M pots, and shifting
them into larger pots asthey need it
Am. Agriculturtst. ...-.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
More than a Million.

NEW ORLEANS, LA reporter of
the Times Democrat, who recently COM
pleted tour of this and neighboring
States, visiting every city, town AMI
hamlet, states that he interviewed all
the wholesale and retail druggists and
storekeepers, as well as transportation
companies, with view of learning the
volume of trade in certain articles. The
statistics thus gathered show that dur
ing the past two years over one million
two hundred thousand bottles Of ST..
Jacobs Oil were sold in this section
alone, and that this quantity largely
exceeds the total combined sales of all
other similar remedies during that
period. He adds that dealers, as well
as the public, continue unanimous in
their plaise of the wonderful pain cur
ing powers of this unapproached RENE
dial agent.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
How Wilkes Booth Passed the picl cts.

How Wilkes Booth Passed the Picl cts.
"Did you ever know how Booth passed
the pickets on the bridge on the eastern
branch of the Potomac that fatal night?"
said my friend l will tell you as it was
told to me by the old sentinel who was
that night on duty there. A half hour
before the time agreed upon by Booth
to meet Harold the latter, who had lived
in the neighborhood of the bridge all his
life, and who was across the river in the
little village of Uniontown then, crossed
the bridge to come over on the Wash
ington side. who goes there? said the
sentinel on the bridge. "A friend, going
for a DOCTOR replied Harold. Pass
said the sentinel. He quickly rode up
Eleventh street to Pennsylvania avenue
and Eighth street, and there in the dark
ness waited until the laundering hoofs
of Booths horse were heard coming
down Pennsylvania avenue. The two
horsemen then started down Eighth
street toward the bridge on that ride for
their lives, which ended in Garretfs
burning barn in Virginia, a hundred
miles away. who goes there? rang
out on the air from the startled sertry
as the two horses came rushing toward
the bridge. Harold was ahead and cried
out, "A friend, with the Doctor The
two men passed over the bridge, and it
was perhaps several hours after the
reyerberations of the horses hoofs died
away before the sentry knew who the
men in such a hurry really were, and
when he found it out he was nearly
scared TO death for fear he had failed to
do his duty
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
FARMERS COLUMN.
New Wood dPreseryative,.


Immersng the lower ends of fence
posts in hot coal tar win preserve the
outside for years, but it very frequently
happens that in using small trees from
four to eight inches in diameter the
heart wood is the first to decay. This
often occurs with chestnut posts that
are set before they are thoroughly sea-
soned. To prevent this decay at the
center, as well as of all that part of tho
post placed below the ground, by the
use. of wood preserving solutions, my
friend and neighbor, J. j. Suckert, PHI.
D., suggests a system which strikes me
as being not only novel, but exceedingly
valuable as well. 1t is to have a hole in
the centre of the post, from the bottom
upward, TO a point that shall be above
the ground when the post is in position
Then bore another hole in the side of
the post with slight inclination down
ward, making an opening in the centre
hole, which will allow free passage. A
wooden plug, two or three inches long,
should be driven snugly into the hole at
the bottom of the post, in order to pre-
vent the escape of any liquid that may
be used in the operation. Now when
the posts are set in an upright position,
a preservative solution may be intro
duced into the hole in the side and the
center one filled with it, after which a
cork or plug of some kind should be
inserted in the side hole to prevent
evaporation, as well as 10 keep out dust
and insects. The solutions thus intro
duced win gradually be absorbed by the
surrounding wood, until all parts along
the entire length of the central cavity
must become completely saturated.
When the solutions used have been
taken up by the surrounding wood, ii
will only be necessary to withdraw the
cork, or plug, and apply more, if it is
thought desirable. A common watering
pot with slender spout will be handy
vessel to use in distributing the solutions
Petroleum, creosote, corrosive subli,
mate, or any other of the well-knowT
wood preservatives may be used in thi:
way. Telegraph posts might be pre-
pared in the same way, and if the centra
reservoir were kept filed with petroleum
they would last a hundred years or more
| Where large number of posts or poles
are to be prepared, it would be. cheaper
to have the holes bored by steam Of
horse power than by hand. With yer.
open and porous wood it is quite prob
able that hole bored in the side of the
post and above the ground, and deel
enough to hold half pint or more Of
creosote or some similar solution, woul(
answer, but 1 think central cavit,
reaching to the bottom would be best
"A. S. FULLER in Am. Agricultmist.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04

"A man never finds out, how little
he knows about domestic matters until
his wife asks him TO keep his eyes upon
the baby and see that pan of melted
butter is kept stirred while she goes
into the attic to look through her rag
bag.
On the eastern side of the Senate
chamber, in a niche, stands statue of
John Hancock. A few days ago a
member of Congress who has seen some
service in public life examined the Han
cock statue, and turning to a person
standing few feet distant, he remark
I'd; That doesn't look bit like Gen.
Hancock
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
Caught a Severe Cold in Jerusalem.

On west-bomd Michigan Central
train the other day were a delicate ap-
pearing young woman and an intelligent
looking young man, evidently husband
and wife. Immediately behind the
couple sat the man--to be found on
every train--who would die if not per-
mitted to hear the sound of his own
voice at all times and in all places. The
young lady had a troublesome cough, a
fact which seemed to bother the talking
machine behind her greatly. At last
he leaned forward and addressed her
escort:
"That gals got bad cough"
eyes"
''Ever try catnip tea?"
''She hasn't drank anything else for
more than 200 years. She caught a
severe cold in Jerusalem in 1868. had
fifty barrels of catnip tea put into the
baggage car for her to use between here
and Chicago. (Pause.)
"Lungs?"
'No, bunions. That's purely bunion
cough, you will notice, if you watch her
closely.
''Ain't the draft leetle strong from
that window?' after long pause.
"No, she has to have it. 1t takes Is,
900 pounds of air to make her respect
able breath. We have a patent breath
incubator which she uses at home. 1t
covers 1900 acres of valuable land"
''Did you say she was your wife?"
mo. l didn't say anything of the
| sort. She's one of the new-fashioned
internal machines that I'm taking over
to England to blow up the queen. The
only trouble is that am subject to fits,
and when get one of them 1 breaB
things up terribly"
"What bring them on to you?"
"Talking. Why, it was only yester
day that l killed three men, a woman
and pair Of twins before could be got
under control. 1 feel very queer abou
the head now, L"
81 reckon I'll go out into the smokin
carp said the bore, siding out of tht
seat. 81 don't feel very well myself"
"Don't hurry away" shouted III,
young man while general litter raj
through the car.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
Cnly Fractions of Lives.

How many persons live only n Fraction
of average human life because they neg
lect TO take the commonest precaution
against sickness. 1t is disease in it,
that kills, and maturity implie
growth. A slight indisposition is usual.
ly slighted, They who avail thomselve
of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters know
to be efiicacious in chronic caces of dis
ease, but the process Of cure is fal
easier one If it is used in early stages o.
dyspepsia, malarial disease, rheumatism
constipation and liver arrangement.
Let those who would avoid the peri
which even the most potent remedie.
cannot avert, steer clearof the rock upon
which so many constitutions split-aT
mder-appreciation of the danger o.
neglect, 1t will not do to omit care anC
n recourse TO medicine when health /,
affected. If debilitated, or nervous, OF
dyspeptic take it for granted you are il
want Of remedy, use the Bitters.
June 20, 'S5-ly.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
A Startling Discovery.

Mr.. VIM. johnson, of Huron, Oak,
writes that his wife had been troubled
with acute Bronchitis for many years,
and that all remedies tried gave no per-
relief, until he procured bottle of DR..
Kings New Discovery, for Consumption,
Coughs, and Colds, which had a magical
effect, and produced permanent cure.
1t is guaranteed to cure all Diseases of
Throat, Lungs, or Bronchial Tubes.
Trial bottles free at Il. d. Thomas
drug store. Large size 81.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04

The giraffe has never been known
to utter sound. In this respect it re-
sembles young lady in a street car
when a gentleman gives her his seat.
A student of international circum,
Stances says that England has had her
last king. He should have said that she
has made her last "bluff."
An old soldier says that although
he fought through the war, lie nevei
knew what it really meant to 'breal
ranks until he fell into basket of bad
eggs.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
LIVE AGENT WANTED

To sell DIR. Chase's Recipes; or Inform
alton for Everybody, in every county in
the United States and Canada Enlarg-
ed by the publisher TO 64S pages. 1t con
tains over 2000 household recipes, and is
suited 10 all classes and conditions of
society. 4 wonderful book and house
hold necessity. 1t sells at sight. Great
est inducements ever offered to look
agents. Sample copies sent by mail,
postpaid for $500. Exclusive terri tory
given, Agents more than double thaiI
money. Address. r. Cha ie's Steam
Printing house, Ann Arbor, Michi, an.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
Tie Golden Argosy,

Is the handsomest, brightest, most
illustrated weekly paper for
youth ever published. Serial stories by
Horatio Alger, Jr, Oliver Optic, Mary
A Denison, Edward S. Ellis, and other
celebrated writer's, short sketches, puz-
zles, charadcs, etc, Boys and. girls, send
for free sample copy. 1t will instruct
and amuse You. Address GOLDEN
ARGosY, 81 Warren Street, New York
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
Ames, Mastery of the Pan

Teaches You quickly how TO become an
elegant penman--how to make birds,
scrolls, &C., DC. No school exercises so
fascinating, With proper and earnest APP
plication you can in one month acquire
as elegant handwriting as any profess OF
of penman ship. Price by mail, pest
paid, 81. Address The GOLDEN AR
COSY, 81 Warren Street, New Yolk.
Send for terms to Agents.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04

The advent of the seventeen-year
locust will furnish new topic for con
versation this year, but it should be re
membered that it is not etiquette to ask
lady how many times she remembers
the insects.
There is a religious sect in Ohio
which believes that when human beings
die they turn into cats. Doesn't Il
make a man shiver, though, TO think
that perhaps he has been singing
bootiacks all Winter at his wife's grand
mother.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
10 CONSuMPTIVES.

The advertiser having been permanently
cured uf that dread disease, Consump lion, by
q simple remedy, is anxious to make known
10 lis fellow sufferers the means OF cure. To
oil who desire IT, he viii send copy of the
prescription (Freel, with the directions for
preparing and using the same which they
will 1nd sure cure for Coughs, Colds, Con-
sumption, Asthma, Bronchitis, sc. Parties
wishing the prescription. will please address,
REv. h. A WILSON, le4 Penn Street,
Williamsburgb, N. Y. dec27-ly
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
HAPPY CHILDREN.
How 70 Make Them So Keep Them in
Health and They will take care Of tho Rest

How 20 Make Them So Keep Them in
Health and They will take care Of the Rest
The 10y Of every well regulated house
bold comes chiefly from the children.
Thousands Of aiieetionate parents do not
take care of their children. Through ig.
norau"e more than culpable neglect they
pufer them TO fall sick and die, when
knowledge might have saved them TO love
and home. DIR. David Kennedy offers his
"Fayorite Remedy" as emphatically a
medicine Tor the children-gentle ir it's
action, containing no harmful Ingredients
whatever, going straight to the blood, which
when inn ure, is the seat and source Of IL
sense "Favorite Remedy" is the friend
OF childhood aud should be found in every
nursery in the land Keep il in your house
for your children's sake, las well as Tor your
own. Try it and you viii be glad you saw
this article. Make no mistskes. The
irodcre is "Favorite Remedy" and the
prcprietor's name and address,: DR.. David
Kennedy, Rondout, NJ Y. One .doluEa
bottle. t..-'.'.
Cool words for good thng.-Dr. Dayid
Kennedy's "Favorite Remedy" is exactly
what it claims TO be,, ard deserves TIE
praises that are showered upon it by all
who have used 1t. Mr.. Israel II Snyder,
Of saugerties, N. Y. says: "My little
daughter was covered with Salt Rheum
from head to foot; DR.. Kennedy 's"Fsvorite
Remedy cured her. This was two years
ago"
We are not in the habit Of putting any
sort OF patent medicines in our columns,
but we happen to know DR.. David Ken
nedy, OF Rondout, N Y. land can personally
testify to the excellence Of tho medicine
which the doctor calls "Favorite Remedy"
And ifs word Of ours will persuade any
body to use it and thus find reliei from
suffering no professional etiquette shall
hinder us from saying that word. For d.
seases os tho blood, Kidneys and bowels il
has no equal. We wonld not be without it
for FIVE ti'rep the dollar il costs Daily
Times, Troy, N. Y. June IS In.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04

Farm for both profit and pleasure.
No better use of ashes can be made
than application to the fruit orchard.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
No Pate nt-No Pay.
PATENTS a

obtained for Inventors In the United States
Canada and Europe, at reduced rates. With
our principal once located in Washington,
directly opposite the United States Patent
Once, we are able to attend to all patent
business with greater promptness and de
spateh and at less cost than other patent at
torneys who are at n distance from wash
ingtOn. and who have. therefore. to emnloy
- associate attorneys" We make prelimin mary
examinations ana furnish opinions as 10 na-
tentability, free Of charge. aud all Who are
interested IN new Inventions and ratents are
invited tn send for copy OF our 'Niuide for
obtaining Patents" which Ia sent free to
any address, and contains o0'niIete instrue.
tlOns how 10 obtain patents and other vAlnA-
BILE matter. We refer 10 tho German Amer.
lean National bank Washington, u. q. the
Royal swedish. Norwegian and Danish LcKA
tlons. at Washington Hon. Jos, casey. lato
Chiei Justice u. =. Court Of Claims; to.tho
Ohicials OF the u. ;, Patent OthSo, and 10
Senators and Members Of Congress from
eyofy state.
llrltnrs ~ Patents and AttorneysatIaW, Lee
Dron building wAsHisoT0so ID. U,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04

WTkT,nore money than at anything elss BY
w Making an agency for the best selling
" Al' book nut beginners succeed grand.
Iy. None fail. Terms free. HALLErT BoOK
90, Portland. Maine. dee 20-ly
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-04
OFFICE ON
BankVay. LelightOl Pa
MANHOOD

Restored. A gentleman having inneoentiy
cont racted the habit OF self abuse In his
youth. and In consequence suffered All the
horrors Of Sexual lncapaeity. L"st Man.
hood, Ply slcai decay, General Prosiration,
etc will, out Of sympathy for his follow
was finally cured. Address in eonhdenoOl
J. W. PlNKEY, ~ Cedar ST., New York.
dec.9fly .ay