The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-10-30
THE LIME KILN GIL q.
Brother Paradox johnson II Taught that
He Must Shun the Theoretical.
fr,a..at Er.a ptass1

tSrother Paradox johnson II Tsught thns
He Must shun the Theoretical.
Detroit Free Press
s.Am Kurnel Paradox johnson In de hall
dis eavenin'f' blanlly inquired Brother
Gardner. as the regular weekly meeting
open,l on the forty. seventh degree in due
and regular shape.
The 'Kurnelr aros }, He was there. Some
time ago hs i1venssl the theory that Cana
da thistl,, coll DO cultivated to bear mus
tard pla Strrs, Gnl his countel ancs now DE.
travel the fact that he expected to be patted
on the back an ord 1red to take the stool OF
honor, un i,r ta, Bsac Traps.
'Kurnel johnson Will please step dis
way" nsiluel the president, and the
Kurnel advanced to tho front, bestowing
look If tlIe,-piy contempt on the Hon.
Erastus FurIong as he passed him.
.Brudder Johnson" said the president, as
the victim stood esore him with folded
arms, Il want to spoke to you in de plainest
English lang uise faI II dat you new IN
vented a theoryl'
Yes, sab"
1T has bin long time woridn up to a
climax, hasn't itf
"B)ut var, saa."
IL thou rat 20. It was bout a va ago dat
noticed you quit work, an be lan to sot
around on de curbstone. You didn't cotch
Oh to dis theory widout hard struggle, did
youf
mo, sab. 1t jist almoas' upset my
mini"
Il thought so. l remember when y on gin
up de curb stone fur saloon society. Later
on you began to play craps an policy.
Towards dc la It agonJ OF your struggle you
begun to shake dice an buy lottery tickets
on de mo ley your wife Armed at de wash
tub. Inventin' th,ory am powerful hard
work, Bra lder johnson"
Yes, sab.
III am 50 hard dat your wife an chillen
am now ,ggin fur bread an ole clothes,
while You am in debt to everybody who'd
trus you, and your lan'lord am gwlne 10
frow you out o de house."
''I-I is sorry, sab, but couldn't help 1t. "
''Bruddor Johnson said this president in
voice that made Elder Toots sniver like
faded burdocx in n wnter's gal,. II want
to say to you, an to all other members OF
dis club freu you dat no culed man in
America has any bizness wild theory-nn
original theory. II white olks has got time
huff an money 'nuff to loaf round an dis
kiver-in deir own min1s--da5 the moon
am full o JAG n; es which gallop up
an down, or dat thu norf star con
tains a race O pOplo who walk on
der heads 4 feel uem elves wild deir toes,
dat's all right. Do problem wid de Gu I'll
man am, fust, brcal an butter; second,
house rent an raimens; thirl, sich eddica-
shun as will enable him an his'n to write
an receiv, letters; KEEP posted on current
events; il-g,r up how much a weeks wages
comes to a. n dollar q day; realize dat dc
Atlantic ;m upon olo sile of US an de Pa
cific de olJe' an hev de sense to go to
de polls al wota fur honest, decent caadl'
date, no matte on what ticAet deir names
appear. shan't Fl 10 you, an doan' want
to expel you, buS you will retire to de ante'
room with Giveadam Jones fur de space oi
ten minits. II you holi to any pertickleI
theory arter he gets freu wild you it will be
! sunthin' you am psrfeckly welcome tor
When the 'sKurne. returned to the hal
after the ''proceedinys" h, was chang I'd
man. One coat tail was entirely miss in :,
the other badly Eattored, an his general
| appearance was that o. man who hal mot
the tail end OF a cIclon, in a country where
there was nothin to hing to.