davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
ISp- .;gEAT 1907
lCCO PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE 1909
TO THE NORTH. WEST AND SOUTHWEST.
DOUBLE TRICK, STEEL RAILS.
SPLENDID SCENERY.
MAGNIFICENT EQUIPMENT.
l., LIZ.

DOGEIIE lhatt, 81 EEL hAllJ.
SPLENDID SCENERY.
MAGNIFICENT EQUIPMENT
IL effect June 81. 1886.
Trains leave Washington, from station, corner CT
Sixth and Is streets, as follows
For Pittsburg and the West, Chicago Limited
Express of Palace Sleeping Cars at $50 a. M,
daily; Fast Line, $50 am. daily, to Cincinnati
and st. Louis, with Sleeping Cars from Harris.
burg to Cincinnati, and Hotel Car to ST. Louis
daily, except Saturday. to Chicago, with Sleep
ing Car Altoona to Chicago. Chicago and Gin
cinnati Express, at ITO p. IL. daily, with
Sleeping Cars Washington to Chicago and Har-
risburg to Louisville; connecting 1T Harrisburg
with Western Express with through Sleepers
for st. Louis. Pacific Express, 1000 p. m.
daily, for Pittsburg and the West with through
Sleeper Harrisburg to Cleveland and Chicago.
BALTIMORE AND POTOMAC RAILROAD.
For Eric, Canandaigua, Rochester, Buffalo, Niagara
10:00p. m. daily, except Saturday, with Palace
Cars Washington to Rochester.
For Willa:nsport, Lock Haven and Emira ST
$50 o. ~, daily, except Sunday
For New York ard tho East, 7:15, $50 and 100
IN, 200, 400, 1000 p. In. and 1915 night.
p. ~. and 1915 night. Limited Express of
Pullman Parlor Cars $40 a. H. daily, except
Sunday.
For Boston without change, 200 2. IL. every
day.
For Brooklyn, n. T. Ell through trains connect t
z,
afording direct transfer to Fulton street. avoid
ing double ferriago across New York City.
For Philadelphia, 7:16. $3.50 and HOO a. H.,
eco, 400, 600 and 1000 p. IN. and 1915
night On Sunday $50 a. H. 200, 400, 600
and 1900 p. III. and 1915 night. Limited Ex-
press. $40 .. m. daily except Sunday.
For Baltimore G:35, 7:15. $50, 9:4O, $50 and
100 8. H. and 1905, 200, 400. 4:25, $40,
Geo, ITO and 1000 p. H. and 1915 night
On Sunday, $50, $50 and 100 a, n, and
200, 400, 600. ITO and 1000 p. H., and
1915 night
For Popos Creek Line: 40 g. In, and 40 p. II .,
daily except Sunday.
For Annapolis 7:15 n. m., and 1905 aud 4:25
p. NJ, daily except Sunday. On Sunday p. m
ALEXANDRIA AND FREDERICKSBURG RAILWAY
AND ALEXANDRIA AND WASHINGTON RAILROAD
For Alexandria, 600 TOO, 9:25, 11:O1 and 135
a. m, EOS, t:26, 4:45, 6:25, sos and 1877 p
m. On Sunday at Goo 9:25. and 11:01 g. m,
and S:O5 p. n.
For Richmond and the South, 600 and 11:O1 a.
M, daily, and 4:45 p. m daily, except Sunday,
Trains leave Alexandria for Washington COS,
800, 1000 and 1910 q. NJ; loo, sos, 1923,
51O 7:O5 and 11:35 p. m. and 1910 mid
night, except Sunday. On Sunday at 800 and
1910 a. m; 7:O5 and 1875 p d.
Tickets and information at the Office, Northeast
corner Of 18th street and Penna. Avenue, and at
the station whore orders DO loft for the check
ing of baggage to destination from hotels and
residences. J.R WOOD, G. PA
CHAs. E. PUGE, GIN
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
FOR NEW YORK.

Fun NEW 1Ohh.
STEAMERS f. c. KNIGHT AND elz.
JOHN GIBSON Sr,slE,erts
every WEDNESDAY, and returning leave NrW
York. from pier Al, East river, EVERY SAT.
URDAY.
Tho steamers of this company make connections
Mt Norfolk for Boston and all points East ut New
York with all points West and Northwest, and al
Alexandria with Virginia Midland Railway and
Washington and Ohio Railroad. Through rates
given and freight handled carefully and promptly
For further information apply to
F. A. REED & CO., Agent
Janncys what
J. w. THOMPSON, President.
1416 + street.
scp27-f Washington, p. c.
TLYDE'S STEAM LINE WE KY To
PHILADELPHIA. SarlssS
Appointed sailing days from AlcXa a ~.
cry TUESDAY and from Philadclph. ENCEI
SATURDAY,
This line connects st Alexandria with tho Nir
ginia Midland and Washington and Ohio railroadl,
and at Philadelphia with Clydes regular Steam.
ships.
Freight forwarded with promptness and caro-.
free Of commissions.
No charge for transfer in Philadelphia. Quick
time. Frequent departures. Through rates and
through bills of lading given. Insurance ut the
lowest rates.
Agents
F. A. REED & CO., Alexandria.
WI. +. CLYDE & Co, Philadelphia.
JOHNSON e. CO, Wash. {, Gcorgtn.
nnS-t1
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

JOHN LANNoS'
WHOLESALE
GROCER AND LIQOUR MERCHANT,
Corner Market street and Strand,
Alexandria, Virginia.
AGENCY DUPONTS SPORTING, MINING and
BLASTING POWDER.
A full line of celebrated pure old Whistles.
Brandies, Gin, Rum, &C., Massey Co.'S. Phila-
delphis and Claggett's Baltimore Ales, and Berger
& Engel's Lager Beer in casks or bottles.
Agent for the POTOMAC RIVER STEAMERS.
Orders promptly attended to and ccRsignments
solicited. my1-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

r BRoDERs & co,
Wholesale Dealers and Jobbers in
GROCERIES, PROVISIONS, FLOUR. SALE
AND FISH.
full line of celebrated pure old Whiskies,
Brandies, Gin, Rum, &c., Massey & Co.'s Philadc!s
phia and Claggott's Baltimore Ales, and Berger &
Engel's Lager Beer, in casks or Bottles.
Agents for James s. Kirk & Co.'S. Standard
Soap, and for the Baltimore River Steamers.
Orders promptly attended to, and consignmcnts
solicited, No. IL King street,
my1-tf Alexandria, Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

HENRY BRENGLES'
ICE CREAM MANUFA FACTORY,
NO. 129 KING STREET,
Will enter upon the present season with New
Departure Novelties in Freezing Methods and
and lessened cost in pure sugars and syrups, have
reduced the cost in making Ice Creams at whole
sale.
Mr.. Brengle has determined to give his custom
ers, of town and country, the advantage of this
reduction, which will enable him to furnish here
after the purest of creams with the best favors at
the following rates
PURE CREAMS, 1.25 per gallon.
VARIGATED CREAMS in Fancy Monlds,
81. so per gallon.
ICECREAMSODA Fountain open night and
day. Hs still furnishes cakes and confectionery,
and caters for families, fairs balls entertainments
and social parties apps
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

VIZ 4. JOHNSON & CO.,
WHOLESALE GROCERs. -
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHAYS.
And Dealers j.
ALL KIM" u LIQUORS,
Have on .ua GIBSON'S Xxx, Xxx, XXXX,
L.. PURE OLD RYE, OLD CABINET and
MONOGRAM WHISTLES; also BAKERS and
PURE Rye WHISTLES, to which
they invite the attention of the trade.
Orders from tho country for merchandise shall
receive prompt attention.
Consignments of Flour Grain and Country Pro-
duce solicited for which they guarantee tho high
est market prices and prompt returns
Northeast corner of Cameron and Royal streets
sep14 Alexandria, Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
RAILROADS..
VIRGINIA MIDLAND RAILWAY
THE GREAT THOROUGHFARE
BETWEEN THE


NORTH AND THE SOUTH.
THE ONLY LINE OFFERING 4 DOUBLE
DAILY PULLMAN BUFFET AND
SLEEPING GAR SERVICE,
Between Washington and New Orleans This
line offers to the travelling public accomruoda-
tions and facilities such as cannot be found on
any other limo entering Washington.
This is the MOST DIRECT LINE 20 ALL
VIRGINIA and WEST VIRGINIA WATERING
RESORTS.
On and after SUNDAY, august 80, 1885, pas
senger trains will be run rs follows:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
RAILROADS..
y.7 AsH1NGToN, OHIO AND WESTERN r. R.
WINTER ARIA NGEMENT,
FOUR TRAINS DAILY BETWEEN ALEXhN.

WINTER ARIA NGEIENT,
FOUR TRAINS DAILY BETWEEN ALEXAN.
DRIA AND BOUND HILL
Leave Washington at GO a. m. and 30 p. m,
and Alexandria at 10 a. IN. and 4G p. m. Pass
Leesburg, going westward, st II Oh p. m. and
& 3S ?. NJ, and arrive at Round Hill st IL AZ Il.
and 7 1S p. III. Leave Round Hill at 8 Oh 8.
n. and i 80 p. IN. Pass Leesburg, going cast
ward, at + AZ a. u. and 20 p NJ, and arrive a:
Alexandria at ! 26 a. IN. and co p. M, sud st
Washington at IS 4. N. aud 10 Pm.
Leave Washington TT 8 90 q. III. aud 80 pm,
AlexanGria =; 8 10 and 4 l6 p. nl and Lees.
burg going westward, ut II OF p. III. and 3
p. III.
All trains daily. ahording PARTIES opportu
nifty Of visiting Belmont Park on Sunday.
Ky Passengers from Washington will take t:c
Wash, Ohio and West'n. cars ct the Baltimore and
Potomac Railroad station ct 900 ?. Ill. and 4:35 p.
~, snd 60 through 10 Bound Bill without change
o. Cars.
The 9:1O y. ~ train from Alexandria and 4:39
pm. train from Bound Hill connect 81 Round H:a:
with Daily Line OF Coaches for Suickersville, Der
ryvile and Winchester also with Line Of Coaches
which Leave Lcesburg ,sily ioi Aide spd Middla
burg.
Botk trains, Westward, make close connectlorI
81 Vienna with S!ssor3 Line o. Stages for Fairfax
Court Hous-.
Ono thousand milo communication tickets, $50.
Alexandria, June II, 1885,.
scp0 S. NJ. 3ROpHY. SUPP.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
COMMISSION MERCHANTS.

ENABLES 5. TAYLOR, JR.,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL FEED DEALER.
NO. 81 KING STREET
sPECIALTIES: Cracked Corn and Cut Hay
Manu- featured by myself, Cotton Seed Meal, and
Hominy Chop. Hay and Straw Wanted.
&C Goods Delivered FREE to any part of tho
city. je1o-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
FOR THE LOWER POTOMAC

FOR THE LOWER POTOMAC.
The steamer JOHN w. THOMPSON will leave
her wharf EVERY SUNDAY and EVERY TUES.
DAY, at 7:5O Il. H.. for Lconardtown, and
EVERY FRIDAY, at T:3O a. ~, for River Land.
irgs as far down us Nomini. returning on alter
natc days. Fare 80 cents for any landing.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

Dealers in
VINE AND LIQUORS
FIOIIR GRAIN AND COUNTRY PRODUCE
SOLICITED.
PROMPT RETURNS AND LIBERAL AI'
yANCES ON GOODS IN STORE.
AGENCY OF LAFLIN RANDs SPORTii::2
BLASTING AND MINING POWDER I'"'
COTTON AND WATERPROOF FUSE.
N. W cor Cameron and Royal cts.
mh1G
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

TlHOMAs PERRY,
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANT
And Dealer in
FLOUR, FISH, SALT, and FERTILIZERS
Also Agents for
WATTS RICHMOND CAST and CHILLED
PLOWS,
feb19-tf ALEXANDRIA, VA.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
GREATLY REDUCED RATES.
DIRECT (NO STOPS.

The Steamer LADY OF THE LAKE leaves her
wharf EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY and
SATURDAY, at six o'clock p. N. Returns oa
alternate days.
Single fare, first class, 81 round trip, $50
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
THE CANVASS.

Rooms STATE Dem. EXECUTIVE COMMITTEES,
ALEXANDRIA, VA, August Ia, 1880. }
The following appointments for public speak
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

C,TRICiLY PURE BOILED AND RAW LIN.
- seed Oil received this day.
BW. MALLS,
my25 S. E. Cor. King and Washington SITS.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
STEAMERS,

il N AND .sE-@.N
FORTRESS MONROE.
THE POTOMAC STEAMBOAT COMPASy,s
First-class steamer
G. f o r G Z L E K !
will leavc Prince st. Wharf EVERY MONDAY
WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY, at & p. m,
Connecting at Norfolk with
BOSTON AND PROVIDENCE" STEAMERS
and Steamer ARIEL FOR RICHMOND.
For further particulars enquire az Ccr,pauv's
Office 7th Street Wharf. Washington. D. c. ara
PHILIP B. NOOE
mayT.tf Agt Prince Street Wharf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
w

THE BEST IS THE CHEAPEsT.-Use Pio-
i Ecer Ready Mixed Paint, put in pound, quart
half gallon and gallon cans. B. W. MALLS,
feb2S 8. c. cor King Washington SITS.
HOMEOPATHIC SPECIFICS, prepared by the
II Humphreys Medicine Co., of New York A
full supply just received.
ie9 E. S. LEADBEATER & BRO.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF HARDWARE,
L PAINTS, &C.. and cannot make it convenient
to purchase during the day, you will find my
store open every night until o'clock.
B. w. MALLS,
8. E. cor. King and Washington sts
Telephone No. f. mv24
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

DHILIP B. HOOE,
NO. 2. PRINCE STREET,
GENERAL
COMMISSION AND SHIPPING MERCHANT
Dealer in all kinds of
FERTILIZERS, SALT AND PLASTER.
Agent of the
LIVERPOOL & LONDON & GLOBE INSUK.
ANCE COMPANY.
feb6-tt
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

GCREEN WIRE of assorted widths at SO King.
y corner of Royal, on hand and Tor sale at a low
price. Call and see.
my23 1T. CREIGHTON g. SON.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

CLEANERS ARROWSNITH r
y Asp ls.:s zz-c
WAKEFIELD.
FOR POTOMAC RIVER LANDINGS
Leave Washington. from Itk street wharf Al :
L. ~. and Alexandria, from foot Of King strrcr
at s i. III. MONDAYS. THURSDAYS. and SA
TURDAYS, returning on Tuesdays, Fridays, aud
Sundays, for Ill River Landings as far as Nomini
Creek, Curroman and S.. Clements Bay.
FERRY SCHEDULE.
Lecrc Alexandria: T:30. $50. $50 1890
and 11:30 a. NJ, 1870 1870. 80 $50. 4:3O
$50 and G::}0 p 81
Leere Washington: 100 $50. $50. 1870
and 11:3U. y. n, 1870 $50. 80 $50 4:3D
$50 and $50 r. H.
Same schedule GU Sundays commencing at $50
g. FL.
For information apply IT Office 9TH st. wha:!
Washington. y. e.. and at Office foot of King s..
Alexandria, Va. G. ". RIDLEY, Manager.
J. B. PADGETr, agent. ic3O
INLAND AND SEABOARD r~u,
COAST1NG COMPANY. E-ss,a-slLi---1S
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

WINDOW AND DOOR SCREENS IN A
w knocked down state. or put together. None
but the best quality Screen Wire sold, either
plain green or figured. No common Wire. No
common frames, and prices lower than you can
have the frame made and put together. Call
and examine, get prices, see the quality Of goods
and be convinced. Ie18] w. MALLS.
DEACH AND APPLE PARERS in great va
i 1iety, at SS King, corner of Royal street,
wholesale and retail. The Model Parer Corer
and Slicer, a new machine best out, by the dozen
or singly-only so cents. Oriole and other old
styles of Parers at very low prices. Call and ex-
anime liy30l IT. CREIGHTON & SON.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16
THARLES KING,
WHOLESALE GROCER.
81 CAMERON STREET
tBrews & Lswson's old stand
mh1o ALEXANDRIA, YlRIlRlA.

ksaRLOW BROS,
WHOLESALE
uROCERs, GENERAL CoIM SIS lvE
MERCHANTS AND
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-10-16

7 c. MILBURN,
GROCER. TEA DEALER
COMMISSION MERCHANT,
No. II North Royal street, near Market spIcc
Alexandria, Va.
Orders and consignments solicited thoy will re.
ceive careful and prompt attention. apis
w. A. SHOOT. g. s. FRENCH.
M A. SMOOT & CO.,
COAL, SALT, PLASTER,
ALEXANDRIA, VA.
OFFIcE-Smoot's Wharf.
ap4 Special attention paid to forwarding.
JAMES BAYNE. THos. Il. BAYNE.
BAYSE 6 BRO
GROCERs, LIQUOR and COMMISSION MER-
CHANTS,
No rs Cameron Street,
ALEXANDRIA, VA.
Agents for ISAAC WENGER'S CELEBRATED
FAMILY FLOUR.
A ino assortment Of Plain and Fancy FAM
lily GROCERIES and LIQUORS constantly on
hand my26
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-26
A HAPPY DIVERSION.

"l took dinner with peculiar man the other day" said the secretary of state. "l had known him for long time, but had never noticed anything strange about him until the other day. When we sat down to dinner, Colonsl Haekstt-Tay friends name called hls servant, a large negro. and said
 "' Robert, please bring us some bread, and, oh, Bob, you've iorgo, the soup Bring IL, please, and you will place mo under so many obligations, An, hold on. Bob. You have torgo,,ea to give my friend plate. Please bring him one.'
 "When the servant had retired to axs- cute the humtliated appeals to has gensr- osity, turned to my friend and said:
 :" Colonel, you astonish me. have ever taken you to be man of great firm ness.'
 "lam.'
 "'rhen why are you so servils la ask. ing your servant ,o do anything P
 "' Revenge, my dear sir
 "' RevengeP 1 repeated la As.onlsh- mea,. Why, 1 don't understand you
 "'WelI, I'll tell you. Do you see that club o'er the mantle piece We'll, shall be obsequious to ,ha, fellow until he owns the place, then l shall snatch down that club and knock him heels over head. Nothing like It. do ali my ssr- wants this way and enjoy myself better than any man in town. IT hadn't hit upon this plan would have been dead by this time. Wait minute here he comes.'
 "The fellow looked sullenly at us and doggedly put plate in front oi me.
 "' Oh, Robbie, said the colonel, there is no vinegar on the table. should es- tecm il great favor If you were to get some. Oh, don't fToWn al mo that way. Bsbbie.
 "The servant made disTespectfai re- mark. The colonel jumped up. seized his club and struck Bob an awful blow knocked him through window out into the yard. The coionel's face wore an sx- pression of supreme happiness.
 ~ Now we'll eat dinner,' said he, se. suming his seat. If ! hadnt struck upon this source of innocent diversion. 1 migh, have been in my grave. You see, when 1 cringed to him 1t was hum llia. ton, but when 1 knocked him into a 61. uTe five h was revenge. Nov, must 70 out after dinner and get another man. Al first he will tell ms that he would rather work fer me .haa ies any man he ever saw. Alter awhile, winch my kind- aess becomes more plain, he will become neglec,ia! and. after awhile--ss yoa have witnessed to-day-hs will become ins ,len, No, sir, don't know what would have become of me had l not struck upon this happy divsSsion.'"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-26
oWlNR TER BE TROUBLE.

"Uncle Milus," said a prominent citi. zen, addressing an old colored man "what do you think of that part of the presidents message which refers to the withdrawal of silver ?"
 "Ain' seed it, cap'n. Whut does dc preserden' perpose ter do ?"
 "Well, he thinks tha, there should no, be so much silver money in circulation.
 "Whut he want ter cirkerlate ?"
 "Gold."
 "Whar he gwine ter git 1t 2"
 ooh, he doesn't explain. His idea Is bat silver is driving out the gold, that ftAe rich men of the east are hoard Ing it. i is thought by some of our 6na nciers that if silver is withdrawn, those rich men will, in order to meet the demands of their own business, be compelled to turn loose their gold"
 "Dats all foolishness. De derm an s O de rich mans bug ness ain nigh SO pfessin' e de derman's O de pol mans hus'ness De rich man will be de gaiAer, fur de big CT mount O stuff dat dc rich men hab got will be more valu'ble. l ain' got edycation CT nua ter dive inter dis money question, but tell yer whut's e fack ef da takes de silver-whut am de DO mans money-outen de country daT's gwine ter be hard times sho' nuif Who am at de head O dis mubement De DO man ? No, sab, de rich man."
 %Tha,'s all right, uncle Mlus, bu, the argument of the men who are opposed to silver is this: "Our silver money Is de- based. It Is really worth only about sigh,y-6ve cents on the dollar"
 "Oh, is dat de cryl Now, femme tell yer su,hin. Which would yer ru,her be, CT man wid dollar when loaf O bread is wuf CT dollar den ter be CT man widout CT cent when CT loaf CT bread Is wuth CT nickel?"
 Well, I'd rather be the man with tn c dollar"
 Nov yer talkin'. When dar's plenty O money in de community we doan kere much how high de needcessities O life is, we'se gwine ter hab 'em. but when money is sca'ce, doan kere how much yer ken buy wid it, hard times gwine ter foller."
 "You believe, then, in plenty of mon- ey".
 "Cose, l does, an ter my ,hinkin' CT man whut doan is CT fool. Oar wu1 plenty O money jes' arer de wah an yer neber heard nobody cry erbou, hard times, an dar neber was no hard times .ill dc guberment 'gun,er draw in de money. Desc is simply my 'pinions, but dis much does know ef de guberm C nt trieste make money sea ser, dar's gwinc ter be trouble"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-26
WAS NOT ENTERTAINED.

An old fellow who had served durin 2 several weeks on a jury created sensa- ton in court by arising during trial and addressing the judge.
 "'Squr," said he, jes listen to me a ninit, if you please. reconnize the fact that l have made big mistake. come here an hung round tryin' to git on the Iary am at last got thar"
 aWell, what is the matter with you p Ae judge demanded.
 "Pm comin' to that. got thar, as told you, an we lit into business. &ought that l would hear all about how aalers got killed an how somebody was Aurdsred, an thought that we'd say ssms feIler was guilty an' would see him Anag. but l was disappointed. Here esme . lot O cases about fellers remov- h mogtgaged cotton, am all about MT. So-and-So suin' each other bat l ain's Aeaxn nothinin' bout killin' nor nothin' teeEessin' yit. am . powerful hand for h, jedge, an never cosld stand dry dseails. wanter hear suthin thatu kesk> .y hair stand np on eend. ! Aoaght that juryman had fine time ttAought that with him 1t was a regula, sAow, but as tole you, I've been de- eeivsd. Wy, ! mout stay here month eolin' with sich stuff, an even then
 culdn't have nothin' ter tell the boys pAen l got home, so jedge, ef yer doan,
 ss me chance to hang feller, I'll
 ave to jog Tong towards home."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-26
WOULDN'T PLAY.

A dramatic society in Little Rock de- cided to introduce into one of their plays rough character, whose business i, should be to terrorize everything in sight. The manager Of the dramatic soc,ety said that he knew the very man who could make the character a brilliant sue cess. He had his eye on a Iank and grizzled man who had come down from the hills, and, when the manager called at a wagon yard and introduced himself and stated his business, the character '' who said that his name was Luke Cren- shaw, replied:
 Well, cap'n. 1 reckon you'il have ter 'scuse me. 1 never was no hand at tn at sorter biz ness"
 "Oh, but you can soon learn 1t. All we want of you is to be perfectly natural want you to come out dressed juss as you are.r
 "I couldn't come no other way for these here is all the clothes I've got. What will l have ter dor
 Well. you see, thersn be a party Of young ladies and gentlemen at . little little summer hotel. The company will be sitting in front of the house, when yoc come up. You1i take seat short dis tanee away, under tree. Pretty soon you'll haul out bottle and take drink ?
 Drink nv whut ?"
 "Oh, whisky, brandy or whatever t may be-"
 "S'poze yer let it be Johnny red-eye." !"
 "An rish, we'll say then that it's Johnny red-eye. You take . drink or two and then address yourself to the com
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-26
NO HOPE.

The other day physician was, in great haste, summoned to the bedside of a prominent man. The man was uncon- scious when the doctor arrived and the unfortunate mans wife was so much ex. cited that she could scarcely tell how her husband had been seized. Ir4" Has he been indiscreet in any way madam?" "No, sir, don't think he has,"
 "Hasn't eaten too much ?"
 "No, sir"
 "Hasn't been drunk 2"
 "Oh, no, sir"
 "l hardly know what to say is the mat . ter with him. saw him the other day and l thought that he was enjoying the most vigorous health, but now his consti- tution seems to be entirely broken down"
 "Do you think that there is any hope for him, doctor ?"
 "Oh there's always hope, you know, We must see if we cannot build up his constitution, but do not know what to think of his case. Tell me how he was taken"
 When he got up this morning he re- marked that he felt remarkably well. After breakfast he sat down and read the paper. He remained still for a long time, and then with groan, said that he had finished reading the presidents message and-n
 "Hold on," said the doctor. eff he read that message there is no hope for him. Good day, madam"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-26

Several nights ago, at Mckenzie, Tenn, young man named MoCee shot and killed a beautiful young lady whom he was visiting. The young man says sha, the cartridges had been removed from the pistol and tha. he was playing when he killed the girl. The young lady's father is of the opinion that Niece com
 nitted murder, while many of McKen. zie's citizens hold the opinion that he is not guilty of the charge. He may not be . murderer, but he is a dangerous fool. He ought to b. withdrawn nom circula- tion- The young society man who goes armed, who cannot go to see young lady unless he carries pistol, ought to be sent to the penitentiary. The people should not wait until he kills some one, but ought to send him just as soon as his pistol habit is discovered.