Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-01-17
BRIGHT BITS.

A GIRL at least may smile and smile and be
a-williH'.-L
snow your talk has the true ring" said the
girl to her lover when he began to speak of a
diamond circlet.-LJe.
VERY innocent old man, Mildboy is A
frien found him at his desk the other day,
absorbed in perpleXlng study. Il am writing
my will" the old man said, land | want to
fix it somehow so that the lawyers can get
some Of the property"
IRAsCIBLE OLD PARTY: Conductor, why
didn't you wake me up when | asked you? l
81 did try, and all could get out of you was
"All right. Maria. Get the children their
breakfast, and I'l be down in minute"
AT a collection made at a church fair on
the West Side, an evening or two since, a
lady offered the plate TO a wealthy man, well
known for his stinginess. Il have nothing to
give" was his surly reply. Then take some
| thing" she resumed. II am begging for the
| poor. '-Proetdence Star.
How not to be kicked: On one occasion q
| frien of Lord Alvanley came for advice I'M
| der the following circumstances: "Mr. -
| has threatened to kick me whenever he sees
me in society. What am to do if he comes
into the room?" ''Sit down." replied his
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Memoirs.
i AN SHOCKED, Bobby" said his mother
| severely. "that you should go to see game OF
base ball on SUNDAY. Think how grieved your
| father will be when | inform him of it," "Oh
| you needn't do that" replied Bobby; she
knows It, "Oh, you told him' ara your
NO; he saw me here."-Ne1o York Sun.
SSAY. ma how much of a fortune have you
| gOty'' Mamma-"My child, that isn't sub
iect for little people like you to concern your
| selves about" Daughter-'Oh, yes, ma, it is
] and she was telling me that she would be
worth $4,000 when her pa and ma kicked the
bucket"
He was not carried to the skies
On flowery beds of ease,
While others fought to win the prize
And sailed through bloody seas.
Nor did he take the gospel train
Too high he thought the rates
He took a route much shorter, though,
-Yorkers Statesman
on opening a head of cabbage the other day
| the cook of hotel at Lockport, n. y. found
| a document stating that the world would
| come to an end on July next. We have
always had the profoundest respect for the
| superior intelligence of the cabbage, but we
/ shall 20 on accommodating great thoughts for
| our ne ( independence day editorial just the
| same.-Bur1tHgt0n Free Press.
OLD ALPH went into a grocery store, and
| approaching the proprietor, who stood behind
| desk, asked BUSY, boss?" Eyes, what dc
| you want?" ''Wall, / wuz in heah yistldy tul
| buy er side o. meat. Tole 'em ter SEN il
| 'rOuni ter de house, but" Il believe you're
| an old liar. If you had bought the meat il
/ would have been sent'f "Ain't gwin tel
correck de mistake, DEM" mo, get out o.
| here" ''All right, boss, suits me we'll Ell
| nun. Ordered er side meat an paid fur It.
! but yer folks made er mistake an drapped
me on er barrel o. flour an lot o. hams
| Did n know l wuz tradin' wild SIGH er Christ
ian gennerman. Good day, sah.'-A r6dnsaa
| Trd0elJer.
| ALL is not gold that glltters.-''Ise very
sorry. boss, dat | was led estray ter take dc
watch" said Jim Webster to an Austin JUS
tice. Il am glad to see that you regret your
crime. What was it that led you to take the
| Watchf" replied his honor calmly, Il was
| deluded by dc chain, sab. | bleeved it was 8
solid gold chain, and dat ar was gold watcl
| hanging at the eend Of it. De chain deludeG
/ me, sab, inter taking de watch. De bras;
| chain am de course oh all desc heah compiler
| cashuns." "You will not be deceived by
chains for time at least if l can help it." re-
marked his honor, giving him two months on
| the chain gang.-Tegds Siftin0s.