Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-10-16
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE

It's a wise measure (mlkman's) that
knows its own capacity
Chicago is gong to have dude show.
Where will the spectators come from
Tennessee has 100000 sheep and 500, 600
dogs. The other 100000 sheep are inside
the dogs
Out in Cincinnati the restaurant keep
ers have "a powder that they sprinkle over
oysters, causing them to swell. Anybody
who has ever seen "a Cincinnati restaurant
oyster will recognize the propriety of this
dodge
Now is the time when the total abstainer
will have to look out sharp for mince pies,
or the artful housewife will get the drop
on him.
1t is said that when ship approaches
the Shetland Islands the inhabitants al
ways take cold. This is one device for
getting whiskey.
A fashion journal says that nothing but
plain collars will be worn by ladies the
coming winter. We should think that
comfort, if not delcacy would forbid such
a decOllete costume.
| A New York woman, Just before com
hitting suicide, poisoned her dog An
other instance of the tender thoughtful-
ness of the sex.
A prohibition journal says that Prof
Frost has taken the stump. His brother
Jack is getting ready to the take rest of
landscape.
In Germany the sun is feminine. In
this country the son occasionally shows II
tendency in this direction, but he usually
gets laughed out of it.
The insurance companies are getting ont
their blotters for the coming year. New
Hampshire has just got out her blotter
for insurance companies
A man who blew a fog horn in Mon
treal. the other day, was arrested and SEN
fenced to four months imprisonment.
Montreal is very anxious not to attract at
ton to herself, these days.
a South Carolina Judge has decided that
it is not a crime to steal watermelons from
the vine His Honor evidently doesn't
depend on gardening for his fruit.
The Car of all the Russias eats only one
) meal a day and another curious fact is
. that he always helps the dog first
A Pennsylvania man committed suicide
in just one week after his wedding. The
reason why he waited so long was because
his wife always insisted on going to the
. drug store with him.
The announcement is made that an
English yachtsman recently died of sea
sickness. We thought this kind OF yachts
men all hailed from American club houses
and couldn't tell topsail from the skip
per's linen out to dry
p, Loves warning cry Don't Jack, you
hurt my vaccination. Eau RiUcr -4d
{ rance.
An orthodox Prohibtionist takes off his
f hat when watering-cart passes him OF
= the stl eet.-N Y. journal.
;. They don't call them opium joints" in
i select circles now, but "lethal articula
ions. "-BOStOn Transcript.
4 1t was found in Cincinnati that twenty.
a one men who had married red-headed
girls were color blind. -DctrOU Free Press
Fall River papers tell of a man there
= who was shocked bv electricity. He coul,
;. not have been an old resident.-BOst0H
r. POST.
. The real name of "Stcpniak" is Drago
q manOif Tradition ascrlbes the origin OF
a the latter to the words he used once whel
he took "A poem to the newspaper Office
Bhp0hdntOH RCpubiiCGn.
Central Park is to have IA colossal bust
II of Washington Irving by Frederick Beer
e an \ Austrian artist, 1t seems to Us tina
i Beer has been more or less connecte,
ii with various other colossal bu,ts hereto
/ fore.-LUC.
!, First Felnale-"W What business are YET
4 engaged in now :"
second Female-''I am IA book agent"
h F.F.-"What have you to do =
d SF'-"NOthing but talk"
5 +, Elbow delightful !'-BOstCH
Il Courier
l. The man who 'straldlel "A blind" was
V afterwards convened to mis- residence on a
n shutter. -LoiUeU Citizen.
e k,unn,s Latest pun kills at nina m les
V ond ~ 'tborafore sinnSt 49, aH,.,tiv. a.
Wnina vhi.tav '.tn,, pnyt '
J., nv s,,a, s,,!.., .,,l,,,,,t,, 49,, ,,.,,.,,.
n ne lorest iolase resell ples Tue VI uu \
u ara noae, liitSih yen rs II grows very re''
d before the lall.-B0Stoh transcript.
. Bismarck has taken the l,2o0,o0O marks
l. given him as birthday present and put
/ out at interest. He is seventy years o
= age and must begin to saVe.-BOStOI
Globc.
e A woman with the rather ominous nam,