Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-12-30
BURDETTE'S DINNER WITH VICE-PRESI-
DENT HENDRICKS.
HOW THE GREAT DEMOCRAT WORE OUT THE
HUMORIsT.

BOD Burdette, the humOrist of the Bur-
lington Haaokeye, writes of the following
amusing experience with the late Vice
President Hendricks:
''Do you know have a very, very pleas
ant recollection of Mr.. Hendricks The on.
ly MIR. Hendricks in the world Just now, of
course. l never met him but once. and
then l had the honor of dining with him,
Il do not mention this fact in order to
create the impression that am on easy,
familiar terms with all the candidates in
this presidential campaign. Ifear am not.
If wanted $500 to-morrow-and l proba-
bly, will, at least want it to-day, and am
not the man to change my convictions on
financial matters in twenty-four hOurs-I
do not know single candidate for Presi-
dent or Vice-president whom could, SO to
speak strike for that amount.
Well, Mr.. Hendricks had the honor of
dining with me-thatis, We dined with each
to Burlington over the Chicago, Burlington
and Quincy. On that same day Mr.. Hen
bricks was on his way to California. Both
trains on the Quincy road dined at Worm
ley's at Charlton, Iowa. Mr.. Wormley
met me at the door of the dining room, with
even more than usual cordiality. He said
to me:
"GOod, l have company for you to-day.
Come right over to this table,"
81 followed him and found a gentleman
80 much better looking than the campaign
portraits that did not recognise Mr.. Hen
bricks until we were introduced. His face
was very attractive; his manner no less
charming. l was pleased that fate had
cast me in his way. That is, I.was at first.
He was so pleasant liked him. Early in
ne course of a brilliant conversation about
the weather, he said:
''You are the young gentleman who
writes the poetry on the Hasokeye, l be-
ing smile on mans face.
"NOw, that was the very thing I didn't
want to talk about. had been writing
whole pages of campaign poetry they call
it, in the Howkeye, but, you understand,
that excellent family paper wasn't exactly
a Democratic paper. At least, it was no
more Democratic than the most rentanker-
ous, rally -'round-the-fag- boy s-third-term-
Hayes es-and-the-whOle-tickst Republican pa
per of Republican Iowa could be expected to
be. 1t was just about as Democratic as the
Eagle is Republican. And I knew what
kind of poetry I had been writing. I
fidgeteda a little, poured spoonful of sugar
in my soup, and owned up that was the
man. Then asked him how long he in
tended to remain in California. He told
me, and then said: There was one little
poem'-now see how kind he was; ne called
it poem-'there was one little poem you
wrote, beginning, There was an old Hoosier,
as I've heard teel, Now, how did the rest
Of that go?'
eco It went for him tooth, claw and
toe-nail, and I knew it. 1 feebly said, u
don't remember emptied the salt into my
coffee, and hoped he would find rest and re-
turning health in California / also hoped
that l W ould die in a few minutes, but /
didn't say so. He thanked me in his court
cons manner for the wish expressed, and
then wento on:
"There was another, good one; can
recollect only the second stanza. How did
the first one run?'
"And Herewith he quoted a few lines Of
one of the meanest things ever wrote
about any man. While he quoted my prize
poem, pretending to forget the stanza that
referred to himself, was confused, but /
seemed distracted, as spread five very
thick layers of potatoes on my folded nap
kin, under the impression that was spread
| ing piece of bread and butter. I said
wasn't very well when 1 wrote that one,
and had quite forgotten it. Then attempt
ed to wipe the cold beaded perspiration from
my brow with that napkin, and added to
my embarrassment. must have appear
ed embarrassed or eccentric am sure.
"Well, the long and short of it is, Mr..
| Hendricks remembered every. mean poem
had written about Mr.. Tilden and himself
during that bitter campaign, and he could
quote just enough of the innocent, good
natured lines of each one to show me that he
had read it. / never saw man with such