Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-03-23
BRIGHT BITS.

AN exchange contains long article which
tells how to distinguish perfect woman. The
way to distinguish an imperfect woman Is to
talk to her brOther.-PhiLddeEDhi CdU.
ARURAL GENTLEMAN, standing over reg
ister in a city store, attracted some attention
to himself by observing to his wife: "Mariar,
| guess Pm goin' to have fever; feel such
hot airs a-runnin' up my legs. "-E1chaage.
ARDENT LOvER-''I have called, sir, to ask
your permission to pay my addresses to yonr
for her dresses. Why, certainly. my dear sir.
Here are bills" He gave one glance at them
and ed-PAiladelDhtG CAL.
THERE are nearly 100000 children in the
United states who 90 not know their letters"
saws an exchange, There is nothing strange
i'm that. we know very prominent states
man who didn't remember his letters last
summer until he read them in the news
papers.-PUck.
BOSTON GIRLS have organized a Mutual Aid
Matrimonial Society. Whenever one mem
Der marries the others are assessed to set her
up in housekeeping. 1t has got so that a young
man must have some iDducement TO marry
i stOn grl-culture, spectacles and all
N0rriStOl0n Herald.
PROF. STEWART. of Liberia, says: sit Is es
timatcd that 10000 gallons of liquor are sent
to Africa to every missionary" Well! wei!
We wouldn't have believed 1t. The few mis-
sionaries we have seen didn't look as
though they were equal to any such thing
Boston Transcript.
GIRLS who Wish to have small, prettily
shaped mouths should repeat at frequent in
terTals during the day Fanny Finch fried
five nounderng fish for Francis Fowler's
father" 1t is a question, however, whether
this is any Improvement on DICKENS "Fapa,
potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism"
MR.. BLAINE called on President Cleveland
the other day.
81 am glad to see you. Mr.. Blaine. What
do you find to do with yourself these days?"
Il am writing history"
swell, you are welcome at all times, Mr.
Blaine. to come here and see us make IT,
Chicago Ne1Cs.
A HARBINGER OF SPRING
When SHOWS have melted all away,
And grass is green and skies are blue,
Again We'll hear him sweetly play
",weet VlO'ets' and "Peek-a-bOo."
What though his airs sometimes annoy!
His organ quickly let him bring,
And we will welcome HIM with joy,
Boston Courier.
Mexican lately-Stephen b. Elkins, we be-
leve he was called during that halcyon period
when James q. Blaine WAS expected to sweep
the Western prairies like deyourlng flame.
We are somewhat curious to know whether
Mr.. Elkins is working in his West virginia
coal diggIngs, or conducting mission Sab
bath school at Albuquerque. We are unwilling
to lose all sight of the great men of the past
WoRKHoUsE BOY, who had been appren
ticed to a small farmer, brought up, as he had
run away.
Guardian-"Did they beat your"
Boy-''No, SIR"
Guardian-"Then, why did YOU run away?"
BOy-''Please, sir, soon after | got there
pig died: they sailed it, and we had fur to eat
it. Then calf died; and they sailed it, and
we had fur to eat that. Then masters grand
mother died, and seed 'em taking some salt
upstairs, so l run'd away ."-LOndOn Topical
Times.
APROPOs OF THE WEATHER
Oh. the winter how it drags!
And the springtlme how Ii lags,
While people go
Through cold and snow,
With their clothing worn to ragsi
Oh, this bleak and chilling weather!
Clothes must be made of leather
To stand the storm
And keep one warm
And hold, six months, together!
Columbus (OhiO) Dispatch.
''PM going to get married." said he as he
Dutch cheese, land want a wedding cake"
at is customary" said the pretty bakery
girl, ''nOwadays to have the materials OF the
cake harmonic with the calling Of the BRIDE
groom. For a musician, now, we have an Oat
cake, for a man who has no calling and lives
upon his friends, she sponge cake, for news
paper Photographer, spice cake, and so on.
What is your calling, pleaseW
ppm pugilist."
''Then you want pound cake."-BOst0n
Courier.