The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-06-13
Rev, Joseph Cook.
lESehanEel l


 There Is town in Massachusetts where Joseph Cook, the great unnamed pulpit pugilist of Boston. Is no longer ~oTshipsa, As sAs natives tell me ;Ae story, Mir, Cook los, his prestige some, what after this iashion, "You knew we go, up a lyceam two or three years ago" explained one of the local grandees We kind O guessed we'd get Joe Cook to lecture. The faith of good uaaay church members was .. waveEing, and we thought Joe Cook would brace lem ID If anybody could; so Colonel Bob Jones everybody called him colonel, though nope ot us knew precisely why-he was chairman of the lyceum board, made the arrangements with Mir. Cook and enter tained him when be came to town. He wanted to do the handsome thing, SO he asked Joseph, careless like, if be wouldn't nothing would please him better, pro. vided the horse was spirited. The colo nel chuckted and went otf to bis barn While h6 was gone ~e tried to argue Mir. Cook op of his ride behind the coloncl's horse. We didn't know how we'll MIs Cook was provided for. Somebody had given the colonel that horse a few months before, and it had just pre-empted the old mans heart, 'Boa, three times d week the beast would run away. We used to sec 1t galloping into town by all the roads; l, wasn't particular. Some. times 1t brought along as much of the wagon as the fore wheels sometimes it didn't It depended a good deal where the animal bolted. We'll, colonel Bob btought'the turnout round and Mir. Cook aud he got in and drove of. They got along all right until they thought they'd another road at the bottom of the hill Just as they began to go down the slope the preaching broke.
 "' Mir. Cook, said the colonel maguil. oquently, you observe that the necessary part of the domestic economy of the bar. meas has become disintegratcd. Science teaches us that down this hill we shai keep going faster and faster, and know tha, it this vehicle gets to hitting thal col, he'll bolt, and if he does all ths science In the world can't tell wha county they'll find our remains in. IT just keep him going . htsle faster thar the wagon Mr. Cook kind O grAspes the seat and then he gssped, Colonel you observe our trouble is that we arr descending the hill Now, iu case VI should describe a semicircle in ou course we would, then, ah, face up ih hill, and the force of gravity would the be entirely exsrted upon the traces aa our difficulty would cease. sagges that we describe an arc oi A ciScis.' Tn colt by that time was going al full spec and the wagon was bamp.ng aiter hin Colonel Bob had faith h Joe Cook science. and the stone wall vasu't but
 few rods ahead.
 "'Do you advise i,, Mir. Cook7 h asked The wagon gave a vicious lute and Jehosophat Yes, shrieked the Bo, ton man. Ina, was enough. The colo nel pulled hard on one rein and the col tried i,s level best to wheel right around Some folks in the next lot came over an picked up Mir. Cook and the colone Joseph didnt lecture that nigbL Lse turel the colonel said when he came ou on cruiches. Why, gentlsm sn, what d you think mans science is worth whe 1t tells him to turn Tunaway colt asoun on a side bili2 Science Why ths cos, me a round SI9s. saying not wor' about the time I've been in bed"