Milford chronicle. [volume] (Milford, Del.) 1878-1974, 1885-06-12
TIE OLD SETTLER.
HE DIsooURsEs ON TWINS, ROLLING PINS,
AND BOB sLEDs, AND TELLS BEAR
STORY.

From the New York SUM-
''Reub Saltdown's wife's got twins
ag'in, Major" said the Squire, as the
Old Settler came into the tavern the
other evening,
$50 I heerd," said he. oval, that
makes four pair in four year, which d
be a mite su'prisin' in any other family,
but tn hain't nothin' p'ticklar s'prisin'
bout it bein's it's in the Shutdown
family, The Saltdowns kind o. runs to
twins. Reub's pap, OF Fetch Shutdown,
we're a twin, an Reub were twin his
self, though his double were only a gal,
an wen an ruined away with Pete
Paley, the fiddler, iist bout the time
she were gittin' big enough to be O.
some help 'roun' the clearin', shown
how much gratitude she had fur bein' a
twin. TIL hain't no pint, Squire, in
havin' twins, b'gosh, if one on 'em has
to be a gal. Watts Reub's last uns2 ?"
''Both gals |" said the Squire.
"Gosht mighty |" exclaimed the Old
Settler. "That's stiff whack in the
neck fur Reub, hain't it? One gal twin
is poorly nigh onto ez bad ez bein' sold
out by the Shurff, but two on EN-
Jewhizz That's ekal to a fire Wall,
twins may be a good thing to hand down
from gineration to gineration, but it
seems to me, Squire, that it's kinder
crowdin' the land leetle in Reub's case,
specially when tn hain't no more OF 1t
to the acre than tn is 'roun' his patch.
Made yer garden yit, Squire 2"
'Wall, um-m-m, no, not 'dzacly,
Major" replied the Squire. GIVE got
quite a snack O. spadin' done, an few
peas an SIGH planted, but it's ben sc
blamed cold over round my patch thai
tn hain't ben no use O dom much.
oval, it's ben cold 'roun' to my
plantation, too" said the Old Settler
tsBut it looked a leetle this mornin'
though, ez if it were goin' to be no
unly warm, but climbin' on to the nigl
side O. hot. Yes, b. gosh, it did. no
ticed this mOrnin' that Mriar dldn
seem tuned up to the proper notch, an
I see th't sumpin' were a leetle out c
Jog. She didn't hev no p'tic lar banker
in arter sayin nothin' to me, an
couldn't 'dzac'ly think O nothin' to So.
to her th't l thort d kinder lift her bao
on the right track. She were rollin' on
dough fur a potpie, an wen she feel
good n is rollin' out dough she allu
kinder huns that lively oil Meth dis
pertracted meetin' hymn
Plunged inter gulf o dark despair
"She want singin' that this mornin
n thinks says I, Wat in the name.
sam fiill kin dig up en- git her min
= runnin' onter ell make huE pea
more humlikeP M'riar had telle
wuust fore she hooked onter me, an
his name were Benson-Sugar-llp Ben
sop. we usety call him, cause he'd 8
twenty miled ruther'n miss gittin' b
lin in at a candy pull-'n I've alluz NJ
ticed th't M'riar kinder likes to tetc
him M n talk about the good OF time
she usety hev wen he were gaiavantlI
her to all the shindigs tn was IN I'll
country. So, thinks says !, III crac
tn oT-time galavanter at her.. n maH
her feel good.
f" 'I'riar,' says, kinder z il I'd gi1
$40 to know, 'M'riar,' says, :! wond
wat ever become O yer Of trien
Sugar-lip Benson2'
ESQUIRE, if I'd a ben settin' on ya
leriacket's nest an one Of 'em had four
il out. I couldn't a riz up no qulcke
b'gosh. thin did to see M'riar tul
ro1n' very student. raise her rollin pi
no over her head, an sing out so lor
that if I'd a ben fence post wouldI
a had no trouble O. ketchin' wat 81
were gittin' at. :,
'Sugar-lip Wildcats ! she hollei
'Sugar-lip Benson be burned ! she say
4 don't carea continental whar he /
But thur iist this much about me, ga
d she. AN that is, if don't hev nc
rollin' pin 'twixt this n next maxim o P
pie. says she, 'th1 be setch clean'
ont O. things aroun' this h'arthstun
IS saws she, 'ez'Il make you wish Sugar-h
: Benson were deader'n M'thuz lar,
y that you was him I says she.
81 hadn't noticed afore, Squire, th
Il one O. the handles were broke offn Il
IS oil woman's rollin' pin, an you know
well ez I do that if thur one thu
more'n another ell make womi
bIlin' it's a havin' to roll out doul
with a one-handled rollin' pin. SO
went out an shopped 'roun' an dicker
fur a new rollin' pin, an l think that
ruther smooth down Mriar's feather
10 put things onter peace footin' agl
An hsin' On the subiec' o rollin' pins