The Monitor., 1885-06-26

PCiA''a' lit Sttoiits hbttN t1ltiihotfeNtiCdilS
declared that it was so nice to write pleas
ant things of your friends and receive
their gratitude. The third she heard that
Mrs. Smith was furious because Mrs
a ''palatial mansion while her own,
which was half a story taller. was desig-
mated as .'hospitable villa That same
day her best friend passed her on the
afterwards learned, to said friends party
dress figuring in print as ''sprigged' in
stead of brocaded
Melissa Longbow stopped her block
had been described as mnsln. and not as
surah silk.
'It woudnt have cost you anything
said the irate Melissa, ''and | should have
bought three papers to send away. Now
won't. Sec what You lost by your mean
ness
Melissa $ eloquence was broken in two
in the middle by Mrs. Boggs coming up to
demand an apology. Her Susie's name
had been omitted from the list of those
present at the last meeting of the Dorcas
Society. THE poor child had almost cried
her eyes out
The fourth week She broke down with
nervous headache, and could not finish the
report of the weeks doings. whereupon
the majority Of IIigginsville's population
rose, and denounced her as partial, and a
toady to the rich and great.
The fifth week, with fire i'll her eye, and
fury in her heart, she called at the office to
inquire of McFad if he thought she would
SO far forget herself as to attend beer gar
den dances and free lunches, invitations TO
su III festivities having been delivered to
her by sammy the colonel's teil-year-old
hopeful
The suave colonel explained that it was
a mistake. The invitations were intended
for the foreman. Thus peace was restored
but only to take fight forever the follow
ing week, when her youngest brother
Tommy, came home from school to ask if
it Were true that she meant to marry old
Major Possum? The boys at school said
their pas and mas thought she was setting
her cap for him. because she wrote him
such gushing personals, and such a lot of
them.
This was too much. Truth to tell the
festive major had kindly saved her the
trouble by writing his own personals.
That evening, when the colonel drop
ped in, as was his habit of late, Patty
resigned her position, giving dozen or
two out of the many scores of reasons she
had for the step.
He was plainly disconnected, and at
tempted to rally her out of her resolution.
''You are too sensitive. he protested.
Being woman no one would think of
thrashing YOU
Patty was obdurate.
I'm dreadfully disappointed, continued
the colonel, disconsolately rubbing the
shiny spot on the top of his head. Il took
great comfort in considering you as CO
laborer and-and talking things over, and
getting the benefit of your womanly intui-
tions. And Sammy-Sammy heart will
be broken when | tell him he is not to
come for any more copy.
II shall always be glad to see Sammy
whenever he feels inclined to call.
Il could not allow that. I fear he would
prove troublesome. Tell you What. Miss
Patty he continued, with sudden change
of the subject, ''yon mustn't quit. You
must try your hand at the obituaries
There is poetic scope in them. don't Won
der at your getting sick Of calling calico
wrappers dainty costumes a plate of sar-
dimes IA collation. and mush and milk for
three "A banquet but this will he more
All you've got to do is to speak of the old
fellows as old oaks fallen, the young ones
as stately cedars lain low. The ladies are
ali angels and the children rosebuds. Then
you can throw in something about the dread
reaper the dark-robed angel, ct cefera, and
make consoling reflections about the sweet
by and by, and there you are.
Patty at first refused. but was finally
won over.
cold Mullins died yesterday; you may
begin with him, said the editor ''lIe was
a regular subscriber. So give him good
send off.
''Why, what can say" asked Patty in
amazement.
Well. : confessed the editor, 'yon might
say that he is dead at lat, of delirum tre-
mems, and the only wonder was that the
high-tempered old soak had lasted so long
but perhaps the family would like it better
if YOU put it that Mr. Mullins, our esteemed
fellow citizen. breathed his last on Tuesday
morning. He had been in failing health
for some time, but the immediate cause of
his death was brain fever. II you feel des-
perately honest, you may say that he had
his faults, who has not but he was man
of quick impulses. Then generalize little
ON death and Immortality, and wind up
with report of the obsequies. Do you
catch the idea?"
She thought she did, and prepared an
elaborate notice, which was SO good that
she read it aloud to the family with honest
pride.