The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1885-12-12
THE FUN WAS NOT OVER.
4 Marriage Wherein the Voice Of Com
{ mand Shifted.

mand Shifted.
"A very interesting wedding occurred
over at Hooks Springs the other night.
/ Ben Lother and Ida Grimes ran away
from the neighborhood where they had
been reared, and applied to young Will
kinson, who recently accepted call to
preach. The arrival of the runaway
couple soon became known, and quite
a number of young people gathered at
the school-house where the ceremony
was to be performed, The preacher,
upon arriving, called Bill Fellers to one
side and said:
'sBill, couldn't refuse to accommo-
date that young couple, but to tell the
truth don't know how to perform a
marriage ceremony. Twas never mar
ried ana Ineyer saw any body married,
and | don't understand the perform
ance.''
II never saw any body married,
either Bill replied, land | don't be-
lieye there's any body here that under
stands it,
1T won't do to disappoint them, for
understand the girl Is father is iii pursuit.
Let's see, you were commissioned as a
Justice of the Peace the other day,
weren't your
''Yes, but the papers didn't shed any
light on marriage ceremonies
II don't know what to do about it, =
the young preacher continued.
They've begun to grow restless, you
see.''
| sWell, parson, don't understand it
any more than you do, but lam willing,
if you'll help me kill hogs next week, to
take the job eff your hands. =
s'All right
Bill turned to the company and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, we've met
here to engage in a very serious bust
ness. This young COUPLE" pointing,
'sthink they ought to be married. and it
amt for me to say they ought not.
Young fellow, have you got your
license?"
Eyes, sir
"All right. Hop out here, now
The young couple advanced.
s.Join hands, said Bill. II would
like to say that the new ceremony just
approved by the Governor has gone into
effect. Those who have never seen this
ceremony performed will doubtless be
amused at its novelty, but say right
here that all snickering will be treated
as a contempt of Court. Young man,
what is your business?"
II am farmer"
''Ah, hahl How many rails can you
split in a day2'
''Four hundred in good TIMBER
evil you swear it9''
Yes, sir.'
Hold up your right hand.''
He held up his right hand and was
| sworn. Bill continued:
Are you a good hand to cover
| Yes e. j..
please say yes, Yeur Honor .
Eyes, Your Honor
THAT'S right. How much can yv,n
cover in day."
''Three acres, if the land is in good
condition"
Will you swear it?n
Yes, sir.
Yes, Your Honor
Excuse me. Yes, Your Honor
Hold up your right hand"
Apain he was sworn
What was the weight of the largest
bass you ever caugbt?'
II don't remember exactly. About
five pounds, reckon
"Will you swear it?''
mo, Your Honor
All right. Are you willing to marry
this girl?''
Yes, Your Honor. If / want
wouldn't have brought her here''
THAT'S what thought" Bill med
itatiyely replied. ."You love her, ]
reckon"
eyes, Your Honor"
How muchp''
''Oh, / don't know. Ever so much.n
"What did she say when you asked
her?''
"She said yes. y
ssGlad to hear it. y
Now, young lady, you will please
advance and kiss the judge
The girl hesitated moment, but
she stepped forward and kissed Bill.
do youlove this man?n
Eyes, SIR
Eyes, Your Honor
The girl corrected her mistake.
How much do you love him."
Lots
"Glad to hear it. Please stepforward
and kiss the Judge"
Again she kissed him.
Remember that you are under oath.
Did you ever love any one else?'
Yes, Your Honor"
why didn't you marry him?7
He didn't ask me-
Please advance and kiss the Jndgepu
Look here, Squire, said the would
be bridegroom, u believe we'd ruther
be married the old way"
1.-The Old way is repealed. Young
liy, how old are you?''
Look here, Judge" said the now
inpatient lover, that's none Of your
business.