davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
PASSENGERS.

Per steamship City of Augusta. from New
J Long, G G siarke, DIR L r Nicoll. G W
Dickinson. G A Herk hear. Mics Il M Bruen,
Mies Crigg. III A Rahil and wife. Mrs c
Hicks. Miss f Vandyne, g II Edison, II Ed
son, G White, Ores, w J Leonard. Y l.
Van Check aud wife, J c Carlisle, II L Geb-
hard. X Hong. " Dodge n G Hendrlckson,
@ Lewis. W II Bayne and wife, = l. Paft
and wife, l. Hitz and wife. l. Knapp. w II
Stevins, Miss G Scmbler. q G. Breed and
wife. Francis, Miss rBgby. Mrs Tugby p
rugby, p Waterbury, Mrs Powers. Miss
Laughren, Mis- SandstEom, j j Alrard. Mrs
Garrett, $ 9 Eall. Mrs Lambert. G b Wilson
and wife. J McCOmb Jr. II & Newman. Jas
Flynn, Mrs II Ireland, Miss J Miller. j II
Fawkes, Geo Lambert. Miss Tierney. Mss j
Mcdonald, Miss Halsey, Miss Lambert, Misc
L sprsul, Mrs NJ spraoi, A A Stone and
wife, Mrs Montgomery, Miss Russell. NJ Lloyd,
Chas Lewis, e A Robinson. Victor Russell, A
McLaggan, G 5 Hicks. y Hicks, A Hicks. J q
Gilbert, X Kerr, Rev B u Damon, Hark,
NJ Raw, q d w Cole, DIR Reynolds, Il N
Wagner, p Kay, JAS Smith. j Connolly. p
Mccarthy, r Lawler. M GRADY, 6 Palmer, T
Murphy, X Friedman. G Englebam, J Con
nelly, r AIcPake, 4 Deny. j Couey, Mrs &
w benton, w Bra.k, W g Ballard, II VI m,
l. Vaight, A Demhirst. G Plumacher. w A
Roberts. A Culver y W Reed Rosa Saranto,
Mary Comet. Geo Anthony. & Judge, & vi
johnson, j Mcdonnell. Geo Wilbur. j Kelly,
+ j KENYON. J II Briggs. II c Miller, J Lane,
J n Badoze. NJ Housen, G. II Brigham. J Sui
livan. r Dillon. & Pulley. q Wood, n Robin.
J Clifford, o Jones, M Madden, d stanly, S
Moulton.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25

MAvoHEsryR. Nov. A.--Cloths strong md
adyan stna.i Yarn nrm, though butlttle doing.
LrvFRPool. Nov. ~. 1880 y. m.-Cotton-
business good At hardening rates; middllng
amanda $3.50 middlng Orleans 1-l6d ;
sales i3h0O bales, for speculation and export
1000: receipta 92.0oo bales-Ameriean 1880.
Futuree: UOlands. low middlinz clause
bet- aag Ilnpnuy, 9.6lg5 io.sid; January
and February, 5 lO-gtGs n-9ad; teornary
Z 1s-eid. ADrif and May, 20-0id; May and
Juno. q q, SD. Market steady.
srse 9en IN deliveries at to-day's clear
inss amounted TO 800 bales new docket aud 800
bales old dOcket. ,--,...,.., ~ ooo
bales American. ..,,,... 49,.
November delivery, i3-6id. sellers; Noyem-
lar ana december. 5 n -6id. sellers: December
and January, lo.eid. buyers; Janssry s sad
Mareb 4 'f4-Gfd. sellers; March ana April,
Il sd, sellers; April ana NAY ~ Iess
ana Jaly. & 2I-0ld. buyers. Market arm a.
the advance.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
WEDNESDAY. Nov Is, 1885,
YESTERDAY.

Steamship City of Augusta, Nickerson. New
York--G Nj Sorre.
Steamship Dessoug, Smith, Philadelphia--G
NJ Sorrel.
Steamship VIM Lawrence, Kent, Baltimore
JUS 4 West 4 Co.
Brig Robert Dillon, Rollent, New York,
with guano 10 order: vessel to Master.
Schr A n Carlisle, Reville, New York,
with fish scrap to Savannah GuanO Co; vessel
TO Jos A Roberts & Co.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
CLEARED YESTERDAY.

Steamship VIM Crane, Bnlups. Baltimore
Jas b West a Co.
Steamship Amaryllis OBJ, Black, Bremen
A Minis & Sons.
Bark Frederick CBr), Roberts, Buenos
Ayres-Wilder Il Co.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
shippima 9ntrIIiarnrr.

MINIATURE ALMANAC-rHIS DAY.
SIN RISES ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
sun SETS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
HIGH WATER at TT Pulaski 900 AM, 9:s7PM
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS: WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER o. 1885,


cats, !sc; carload lots, 4cc. Meal, size. Bran.
HAY.-MarKet steady; fair demand. We
quote In job lots: Northern. none; Western,
S,lzsG' carload lots, s21sc; Eastern, 81 10; car
HIDES, Wool, ETo.--Market frm and &C
tive; receipts fair; dry flint. 15c: dry coun-
Try saited, lSc; dry butchers, l2c. Wool -
wax, zoe. Tallow, &c. Deer skins, flint, l5c;
saIteu l3c. Otter skins, 25caS2.
LARD.-The market is firm. We quote: In
uefces and tubs, &c; so ID tins, &c.
P0TAToES.-Stock ample; demand fair:
Northern, 81 25a2 so per Dbl; Western. $2a2 IS
per Dbl.
SALT.--The demand is very moderate and
Ine market quiet. We quote: Carload lots,
T5c, I o b; small lots. S5aSl.
SuGAR.-MarSet steady. We quote: Cut
loaf, nc; graduated, &c: powdered, nc;
standard A. SIC; extra G, exc; C, yellow,
ToBAooo.-Market firm; moderate demand.
we quote: smoking, 4Ocasl %. Chewing
Somm0n, sound, 3Sa40c; medium, 40a55c;
brght, 50a75c; fine fancy, s5a90c; extra fine,
s0easl 10; bright navies, 45a57c; dark navies,
40a50cs q
s z 5o:2i g FkEIGHTs.
LuNBEK.-By Sd1.-Tnere is a good supply
OF tonnage IN port, but no idle vessels. The
vessels outor up for our port are sufficient for
all offerings, but from the near ports we have
someinquTry aud several re tdy cargoes. We
quote "a oOa5 90 as the range OF prices
from this and the near Georgia ports
on lumber to Baltimore, Philadelphia, New
OK, snlfnd ports and Boston. Timber is 50ca
VI higher than lumber rates; to the West
Indies 8cand windward, nominal: to South
AmeriHa, u tal5 so; to Spanish and Mediterra-
mean sorts. sllals; TO United Kingdom for
orders TIMBER. 27u2Ss; lumber e. les. By
Boston. SO.
NAVAL STORES, CoAsTwIsE.-Bg SAIL
Nominal. 1FoREIGN.-Co Cork. ETC.. for or
ders, IS lO}3d, and, or, Is Sd. CoAsTwIsE.-
Steaa-To Boston. SOC on rosiu. 81 on snirifs.
to New York, roslns 40c, spiri soc; Philadel-
phia, rosln Doc, spirits soc; to Baltimore, rosin
30c. spirits zoe.
HoTT0N RAJ, Cta1,a-
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
ARRIVED UP FROM QUARANTINE YES.
TERDAY

Steamship Thala lBrl, Fleetham, to load
for Bremen Richardson & Barnard.
Bark ARIEL (Nor), Nicolasen, to load for
Cork for orders-Alex Sprunt & Son.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25

Steamer Ethel, Gibson, Cohens Bluff and
landings w Gibson. Manager.
Steamer Katie, Bevill. Augusta and way
landings-John LawtOn. Manager.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25

Sweet potatoes, yellow reds p bush. 500
Sweet potatoes. yellow vans, p bush COG
PoULTRY.-Market frmer, demand good,
supply fair. EGGs.-In good demand. market
hrm and moderately supplied. PEANUTs--Am-
pie stock; demand light; native peanuts In
light request at quotations. SUGAR.-Georgia
and Florida, nominal: none in market.
II iNBY.-No demand; nominal. Sweet pota-
toes fully supplied; demand moderate.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
s SAILED YBSTERDAY,
nEPARTEn YESTNRnAY.

Steamship VIM Crane. Baltimore.
Bark Soridderen (NOr), Queenstown for
orders.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
Merchants and sIners' TranspOrta.
ton Company.

THE steamships Of this company arc ap-
Il pointed 10 sail from Savannah for Balti-
more every Tuesday and Friday as follows
city time:
J0HNs HOPKINS, Capt. II. ID. FOSTER,
FRIDAY, Nov. 20. at 4PM.
WIN. CIR ANE. Capt. BILLuPs, TUESDAY
Nov. "a, at AN
VIM. LAWRENCE. Capt. KENT, FRIDAY,
hov. n, at II AN.
JOHNS HOPKINS, Capt. II. ID. FOSTER,
TUESDAY, Dec. l. at P. NJ.
And from Baltimore every wednesday and
Saturday at NJ.
Through bills lsding given to all points
West. all the manufacturing towns in New
Engl nd, and TO Liverpool and Bremen.
Through passenger tickets issued to Pitts
burg, Cincinnati, Chicago, and all points West
and Northwest.
JAS. b. WEST 4 CO., Agents,
ia Bay street
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
MEMORANDA.

Tybee, Nov "a. 7:i5 D m Passed mn. steam
ships City OF Augusta, Dessoug. VIM Law
renee. brig Robt Dillon, schr A n Nj Carlisle.
Passed out, stmr VIM Crane, bark Sorrid-
deren fNor).
Waiting, ship Revolving Light tBr), bark
Boroma tBri.
WindN n, light: fair.
New York. Nov 22--Arrived. schr Minnie
smith, Carey, Satilla River, is bound to New
Haven.
Reval Nov 2o-Arrived, str Anerly tBr),
Savannah.
Bermuda. Nov 1a-Tn port, bark Seconda
for ctrJ n. Ak ,rt ~ con, u, s,,ca reIoadirer
Key West. Nov 22-Sailed. schr Mary Jane
(Rr). Roberts. Nassau
Philadelphia, Nov 22-Arrived, schr Joseph
Bavmore, Burdge. savannah.
Beaufort, Nov 2i-Saied from Port Royal
bark Mary Hasbrouck, New Bedford.
New York. Nov 24-Arrived. str Circassia,
Glasgow; str England I, Liverpool.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
ONLY DIRECT LINE TO FRANCE.
General Transatlantic Co.

u ETWEEN New York aud Havre, from pier
ID No. -. y r., foot of Morton street.
travellers by this line avoid both tran-it by
English railway and the discomfort OF cross
ing the Channel in small boat. Special train
leaving tue COmpany's dock at Havre direct
for Paris on arrival Of steamers. Baggage
checked az New York through to Paris.
MORAL ANDlE, FRANGEUL, WEDNES-
DAY, Nov. 25. AN
ost, LAURENT, DE JoUssELIN, WEDNES-
DAY, Dec. ,, 2 ?. N.
CANADA. DE kERsABIEo, WEDNESDAY,
Dee 9, An.
LABkADOR, PERIER D'HAUTERIvE, WED
NESDAN. Dec. 10. Noon,
PRICE OF PA SAGE Including wine):
+ TO VRE-First Cabin, Slo0 aud $50 Sec
ond Cabin, $50; Steerage from New York To
lt9vre, S25; Steerage from New York to Paria
VS. including WINE, bedding and utensils.
Cnecks payable at sight IN amount TO suit
the hanque Iransatlantique OF Paris.
LUIS DE BEBIAN, Agent Bowling
Green, foot Of Broadway. New York
or WILDER Il CO., Agents for Savannah.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
RECEIPTS.


Per Charleston and Savannah Ry. Nov "a
IA bales cotton, 80 caddies tobacco, s sacks
rice. and mdse.
Per Savannah. Florida and Western Rv,
Nov A-l,l37 baies GOTTEN. l6 cars lumber. SIS
bbis rosn, l67 bbSspirlfs turpentine, 4 car
oats. car wood. 5 bbls syrup. 40 bills rice, 3s
bb's and $3.50 boxes oranges, 424 sacks rice, Is
bales hides. and mdse.
Per Central Railroad, Nov A-5.165 bales
cotton. 10 baskets samples, % bars iron. NJ C
acid. 3 tubs butter, 70 bales warps. 20 bbls
onions n bbls cotton seed oil. 275 bbls grist, 10
bf hbis cotton seed oil, l5s bbls -four. 40 pkgs
lead, s pkEs machinery, l6 bales leather, / box
signs, % bales paper stock, empty cans, ID
bales bags. % bales dnmestics, 20 crates hams,
cases domestics, ties wax, bbls wax. 1886
pcs hardware, So pots, sugar kettles, Y tea
kettles, boxes bacon. IA cases eggs, 4 paper
wheels, 20 pkgs furniture. 6pkgs hardware. Is
bdls broom, 81 cases handles, 20 cases water,
10 bbls lard, QO9 bales hay. as sacks corn. 1850
sacks bran, 5 bales Irvine, ITO pkgs mdse, 10
cars cotton seed bbls peaches. 40 cas to-
basco. 80 hi bbls beer, 1872 or bbls beer, cas-
coal, sewing machines, 81 bales yarns. II
pkgs h goods, saw. p head cattle. ! bale
wool. e6 bbls rosin, 90 bbls spirits turpentine.
horses.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
EXPORTS.

Per steamship Amaryllis tBri, for Antwerp
5000 bales upland cotton, weighing 2,444,67
pounds.
Per bark Frederick (Brl, for Buenos Ayres
S6T, ala feet p p lumber-Dale, Wells a Co.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
Cure Guaranteed.

THE Electro Galganio SusDers sorry Belt Ia .
i Positive Cure for Nervous Debility, Loss
OF Vigor, Weakness, Premature Old Age, etc..
etc. Five hundred dollars reward paid II
every Belt We sell does not generate genuine
Electric current. Price reduced to IS. With
each BELT we send a written guarantee 20 re-
turn the full amount paid II II does not make
= complete cure. Sealed particulars sent free.
ELECTRIC BE T AGENCY. cor. Flatbush
Av. and state &c. Brooklyn, n. 7.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
paimte ano ono.


EORGIA, CHATHAM COUNTY.-Noticc is
u hereby given that 4 have made applca-
ton 10 the Court OF Ordinary Tor Chatham
county FOR order % sell all the wild and un-
Guilty. ted land Ia the States OF Georgia and
Florida belonging TO the estate OF JOHN
LEWIS, deceased. nc private sale. for the
payment Of debts nd distribution; and that
said order viii be- granted At DECEMBER
TERM OSs5) OF sad court. unless objections
are filed. JOSEPH q. BULLOCK,
Administrator ID. b. n. q. 7. A. Estate OF
John Lewis.
SAVANNAH, Nov. 81, 1885.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
-. Skfpptt1.
FOR FLORIDA DIRECT!

FLORIDA STEAMSHIP COMPANY.

IHUhIUA SEA MaHIF JUMFANf.
RETWEEN Charleston, Savannah, Jack
~ sonyile Palatka and Welaka.
Fok FLORID Iron steamships CITY OF
PALATk \, VoGEL Master, every Sunday az
A. NJ, Standard lime.
FOk CHARLESTON - AS per montbly
schedule. -
FOR FOUNDATION steamship CITY of
MONTICELLO. MCKEE Master, every We'd
nesday at A. NJ. Standard time.
FOR CHARLESTON 49, AS per monthly
schedule.
For tickets and all information ~ TO sailing
time Of steamers, apply to &. }. GAzAN.
Ticket Agent, under Pulaski House, Bull and
Bryan street
JNO. r. ROBERTSON. Agent.
ONCE Wharf foot Of Abercorn street.
u o. b. TOBY, Gen. Freight & Pass. Ag't.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25

GEORGIA., CHATHAM COUNTY. = Notice
" IL hereby given 70 all parties hav-
lug demands against CHARLES E. WAKE
Field, late Of Chatham county, deceased.
70 present them TO me. properly made out.
Within the time prescribed by law. 80 az 10
show their character and amounts, ami an
persons indebted 20 said deceased are hereby
required to make immediate payment 60 me.
MARY WAKEFIELD.
Administrative Estate Of Charles Il. Wake.
nuld.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
Boston and Savannah
STEAMSHlP co.
FOR BOSTON DIRECT.

THE nrst-c'ass iron steamships NJ this com :
Il pany ara appointed 10 sail every Thurs
dav from BOSTON at 3 P. NJ; from Savannah as
follows-stAndard time:
CITY OF MACON. Capt. WIN. KELLEY.
THURSDAY. Nov. 80, at $50 A. M.
GATE CITY, Capt. d. HEDoE, THURSDAY
Dec. 2. at $50 P. N.
CITY OF MACON. Capt. W. KELLEY,
THURSDAY, Dec. 10. at S:s0P.K.
0ATECIrY. Capt. d. HEDGE, THURSDAY,
Dec. II, at 20 P. N.
Through bills Of lading given 10 New Eng
land manufacturing points and IN Liverpool.
The cOmpany's wharves In both Savannah
and Boston are connected with all railroads
leading out Of the two cities.
RICHARDSON g. BARNARD,
AReuta
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25

LONDON, Nov. - 900 p. m.--spirits turpen.
tine quiet; spot 1la 3D.. December delivery
27s 81. January 20 April 25s "a.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
MACON MEDICINE COMPANY

MACON, GA. g ~
Wholesale by osCEOLA BUTLER, SOLO
MONS n CO.. LIPPMAN BROS, T.. C..
STRONG and G. M. HEIDT a co. Sold By
all druggists.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-25
,FrrcE oFTHE MORNING NEWS.

O., Tslqnd.-The market was rather quiet.
rSere was little if any business doing, buyers
80 occupied in shipping former purchases.
l---e rnr,na in Al eldN and nnchanNed.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

81 don't know, but pretty soon the
Genesta luffed her spinnaker boom,
and passed red buoy on the port
side"
"a red boyi An Indian, wasn't
t" interrupted Lucy.
II don't know. I'll ask Charlie.
And then they both stood on the star
board tack awhile, till the Puritan's
mainsail got mixed with the stern
sheets"
"What are the stern sheets?"
l don't know, I'll ask Charlie-and
the Genesta stood on some more tacks,
and the Puritan held her own"
"Held her own what?"
81 don't know, I'll ask Charlie
and then the Puritan held her own
until the Genesta was mile to lee
ward"
"The leeward what's that?"
81 don't know; I'll ask Charlie.
and by that time they both broke
tacks with each other, and"
"Broke tacks that was bad"
eyes, very bad /; and then they
rounded some more boys, and the
Puritan went in corset, and"
"What! went in corsets" repeated
Lucy, shocked.
"No, not corsets, went in stays is
what Charlie said, but it's the same
thing and then the Puritan came
out ahead, and the yachts"
"The yachts-what are yachts, my
dear Z"
20 1 don't know; I'll ask Charlie,
and"
And we had to get off the car
Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30
Information for the Professor.

Old Prof. Gasaway one night last
week was disturbed by the ringing of
his door bell. Hastily enveloping his
figure in a dressing gown he threw
open window, and, sticking out his
head, asked what was the cause of the
disturbance.
"The burglars arc bad, and we only
wanted to tell you that one of your
windows is open."
(Which one ?" he asked anxiously.
"The one you have got your head
stuck cut of, Professor" replied the
students in chorus.-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30
The Cruel War Fought Over Again.

During the recent visitation of the
Society of the Army of the Tennessee
there lay sick man at the Grand
Pacific moaning and groaning. The
halls and corridors were full of vet
Grams the banquet hall was directly
beneath the sick mans room. The
air was full of war talk and accounts
of battles and sieges. The sick man
could not sleep, and inwardly he curs-
ed the day the war ever began. Along
about midnight, when, after two hours
vain effort to get repose, be heard an
exciting discussion down his corridor,
he ran the bell angrily and comical
and original darkey named Sam an
swered. "Sam," said the sick man,
in tone of desperation, "for PHYS
sake 60 down and find out from that
crowd of roysterers when the rebellion
will be over. Tell 'em l want to 60
to Sleep" Sam went and pretty soon
came back. "Fo' de Lor', Mass
W, dey is no use talkin' to dat
crowd. Dey has jis done got froo wild
Sumter and now dey is gettin' on to
Bull Rum" said Sam.
The sick man turned over and
groaned. In half an hour Sam came
back, and poking his head in the door,
whispered: "Mass' W, dey is
done got froo wild Shiloh. Can't l
bring yeu nuffin?' The sick man,
seeing the point, said YEARLY: "Sam,
if you bring me news that the rebel
lion is ended, I'll give you half dol
lar" Sam grinned and went off. In
a few moments he returned and whis-
pered: "Dey am marching froo
Georg'y, Mass W, anil soon be
up in Moth Car'line." Again he
went away, but as by this time the
darkey had got to be as big nuisance
as the Army of the Tennessee, the
sick man said: II guess the war
won't last much longer, Sam. I'll
give you your half-dollar now. You
needn't come back."-Chicago Her
aid.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

"My DEAR" said Mr.. Smallbrains to
his quick -witted wife, 81 had narrow
escape from drowning. When l fell
off the pier and was just about to sink
for the last time / remembered to
clasp my hands behind my back and
that kept my head above water.
Strange that the head will keep up
while the rest of the body sinks un-
derneathY" "You know, love-" she
softly murmured, "the emptiest por-
tion of the body is sure to float upper
most" Smallbrains passed into the
gloom of wondering if his wife's re-
sponse had any special meaning to it.
Cleveland Plaindealer.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

Queer things happen at masquer'
ade balls sometimes. One of them
happened at Watch Hill the other
night. Says correspondent: zone
young lady and her father were horri.
fed to find that they had been making
violent love to each other for half an
hour. and mutually agreed to keep
the little episode a secret."-Boston
Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30
She Would Ask Charlie.

40, Lucy, what do you think II
the yacht race !"
Indeed 1 don't know much about
it; how was it."
20, don't you Charlie was up as
usual last night, you know, and he
told me all about it-you know
Charlie takes great interest in these
things"
Eyes tell me about it,"
"Well, when the Puritan started
she stood on her starboard tack and
broke it,"
"Nol what's starboard tack p
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30
A Stern Soldier.

Mrs. Hendricks calling on Mrs.
Col. Towscr)-I noticed your husband
at the head of his regiment in the pa
rade yesterday, Mrs. Towser. What
stern and commanding presence he
has.
Mrs. Towser-Very-(to to the colonel
just entering the door)-Did you
bring the meat for dinner, Towser?
Col. Towser-Ah-er. BY Jove,
my dear, I-er--
Mrs. Towser-You needn't "ah" or
Ger" about it. You forgot that meat,
and you can just tramp back aud get
it. (To Mrs. neutrality-suspicious.
me, Mrs. Hendricks, but you were
saying New York Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

"Is the lady Of the house in ?" he
asked as he stood on the steps of q
Detroit residence the other morning
(Which lady of de house?" asked
the girl who answered the ring
"Why, are there two?" "Sartin, sab
If you want de white lady, she am
out. If you has bizness wild de Guild
lady, purceed to dewelop."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

Drunkenness is now said to be a
contagious disease. This is no new
discovery, however. 1t has long been
known that a man returning home
perfectly sober after doing the town
with some boon companion is pretty
sure to catch it from his wife when he
gets into the housc-Somerville Jour
nal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

81 understand you are a graduate
of Vassar, Miss Lucy. Did you ever
study English literature to any ex-
tent" "Oh, mercy, yes; we had
Hogg for breakfast, Bacon for dinner,
Lamb for tea and Lover in the even
ing."-Elgin Every Saturday.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

The Emperor of Russia has been
visiting Finland, and reviewing troops
there. The shout of applause that
went up was deafening when he said
that what struck him most about the
men was their extreme Finnish. y
London Funny Folks.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

First boy-"They say you are a
coward, a liar, IA" Second boy
"Do you know what they call you p
First boy-"Whatw Second boy
don't call they just whistle. "
Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

"How is your son getting along,
Charley?" "Oh, pretty well; only
that he is little puffed up with his
own Importance. Knows more than
his father, you know" "Ah, then,
the boy is not quite an idiot p-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

Professor (to student who writes,
net for the masses, but for the edu-
Gated few)-"You should write so that
the most ignorant of your audience
can understand all you say" Stud
ent (puzzled)-"What part of my
production is net clear to you, sir ?"
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

Judge-"How old are you, madam!
Witness-"I have no personal knowl.
edge of my age, and hearsay testi.
mony, | understand, is not accepted
in this court. Boston Beacon.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

A little five-year-old boy, who had
seen a peacock for the first time, ran
into the house, exclaiming to his sis
ter: "Oh, Lizzie, I've seen a great
big monstiferous tail walking around
with hen tied to it"-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

"Is my husband happy in the spirit
land?' eyes, perfectly SO, madam.
He has everything his soul desires" !"
"Then, thank heaven, he's got it at
lastl" "Got what, madam Z" GA
post office" Toronto Truth.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

circumstances alter cases." said
an unsuccessful lawyer, "and wish
| could get hold of some cases that
would alter my circumstances" ."-Chi
cago Ledger.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

Some things are not made for con-
venience. For instance, you can't
put anything in the drawer of note.
Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

Three Cincinnati brides last week
we're named Ida Bone, Christian
Hamm and Carrie Damn. Imagine
the feelings of bridal trio called
Damned Hamm Bone.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30
WIT AND HUMOR.

The size of a man has nothing to
do with the size of the lie he can tell
Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-09-30

What is the difference between a
paper dollar and a dollar of silver
Never ined.-Boston Transcript.