The Hartford herald., 1885-10-21
Suggs Comes Again.

ROCKPORT, Oct. II, 1855.
"rhe creature is at his dirty work again"
Pope.
Permit me to give the readers of the
HERALD few items of history" which
with great research, have copied from
rare work, of which only the fewest
scholars have ever heard. Nothing in
all those 100000 volumes lost at the
sackin2 of Alexandria by Caesar twenty
centuries ago, among the 200, 900 burned
by the Saracens 800 years later; nothing
in all the literature lost in the destruc-
ton of Memphis, Nineveh, Babylon,
Jerusalem, Carthage and COrinth was
80 valuable and meritoriOus as this re-
markable treasure of historic truth.
As mark of its erudite value, have
called it GoOdrich's First Redier.
Ii is in about this sappy. self-satisfied
and ndover-contident style that SchoOlbOy
the late PythagOras-in hOrn-turned
knight of the quill, with the flourish OF
a brass band, opens his forensic battery
upon poor jamestown. He sails in
under cloud of garbled statements,
false deductions and stupid comments,
and comes out with a weary, befud-
died, woe-begone lcok that would as
tOnish dog.
Goodrich (! Oh, get out The idea
Fudge Pugh. Invincible ignorance
bucking against stern AMI well known
facts, like paper wads shot at Gibraltar.
Cheek-hdrd "as monumental alabas-
ter"-that approaches the tremendous.
Cheek why, by gracious il merges into
the sublime and terrible. But he made
mistake in not gracing his exordium
to this great effort Of his life, with those
appropriate and touching lines,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How wonder what you are"
Goodrich, the dogs foot Oh ! yes
It's "The Other Side" but why did he
not confine himself to few quotations
from the "A b abs and the / G les, and
try to confuse the children by hurling
in, now and then, some awful words
from away over about baker and shady?
This would have doubtless awed the
stoutest Virginia heart.
"FrOm Goodrich" a school book
thumb.worn by the very babes and
sucklings, then a constant, notorious
apologist for New England, who quoted
Jefferson to parry the damning force of
accusing history against the accursed
Pilgrims.
Heigh, no ! II gives me the yawns
to even think of this boys Goodrich
business. He ought to have rounded to
with a perOration containing that
beautiful and pathetic sentiment:
my bird is dead, said Nancy Ray.
My bird is dead, l cannot play"
This would have knocked the sluf-
fin out of the whole business. Then
he would have had jamestown freed.
Yes, sir, this would have knocked the
very hind sights of of Patrick Henry.
His letter has impressed me with
most vivid picture of his personal APP
pearanee. Now / haven't the re,
mOtest idea of who SchoolbOy is
wouldn't have for a dollar--hence /
could not be personal if desired to be-
see the traditional old field school
house, which has unloaded its share of
idiots upon the unsuspecting world. 1t
stands on the brow of the hill, just I'M
side the clearing, close by the spring.
Ii is Friday, the day of days, when
boys and girls declaim. A little way
off see a gawky, staggering barefoot
boy with jay-bird heels. He is one of
the big dogs of the lanyard, and is
preparing to raise sand. Armed with
a Goodrich, a blue-back speller and a
villianOus thumb'paper, he proposes on
this occasion to everlastingly paralyze
the settlement. There is bull headed
bravadO about his looks which seems to
say 81 know sumthin' you DON'T" and
there is sun-struck sneer that chimes
In with taunt and a triumph, and tells
you she knows whar's sum simmons,
too, and he'll go an git 'em ef he wants
en-" But there are marks of great
hess about this boy-his ears and feet,
for instance. Very inquiring, too one
of the kind that sneaks up to you and
tries his durndest to look down your
throat to see what you ate for breakfas
He is long, lank, large and rugged for
his age. Possibly ten winters have
weather-beaten the moss that flourishes
on his back. If Pve drawn him too
young il is his own fault This double.
jointed frame is topped out with little
three by four simlin head, which is
adorned with mass of unruly hair
that he has combed and combed, ON
this mOmentOus occasion, with scrupu.
lOus and untiring solicitude, the only
sign of ofgreatness i'm his whole make up.
His forehead retreats with a sudden
abruptness that would puzzle the most
inveterate phrenologist, and his face
inlayed with pair of haggish eyes-One
crossed ana the other has sinister
squint; a mouth that is not Greek,
clear cut or firm, but mouth that
keeps one thinking of sink.hole fullI
of buck-horns. A little funnel shaped
hat completes his physiogomy. Only
one suspender is on duty, and it tugs
away at two sections of his prOdigious
trousers in a way that increases the
wild disorder of his appearance. An
invoice of the articles crammed into his !
capacious pockets would reveal "A stock |
quite as large and varied as that of old |
Parson Bullens when Sut Lovingood
demoralized him with those terrible
"hell sarpents," and Pm sure there
could be found i'm the debris yarn