Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-04-25
BRIGHT BITS.

IF any man can give the russians trouble,
Abdurrahman Khan.-NorriSto1on Herdld.
DOCTORS patients must put their tongues
out and doctors wife must keep her tongue
in.-Dr. Holmes in the atlantic.
81 AM ont to-day" said the editor, and to
prove that | am out,' he continued to him
self. - win lock myself in,' and he did
Burlington Ha3ckeye.
TROUSERS with two legs are pair; shirt
with two arms is only one shirt. Philosophers
had b tier give up trying to find out whether
the moon is inhabited with spoOks and clear
un some of the dark ysterIes Of this life
EUerY SATURDAY.
FARMER and his wife went into a dentists.
GLOW much do Won charge for film teeth?p
asked the farmer. From two TO tve dollars.
"An' for pullin'?' "Elfty cents "Mariar,"
he SAID, turning to his wife, you'd better git
il pulled.'-Ne1o York Sun.
BOSTON Fashions.-'will YOU have spring
bottoms to these trousers ?" said the city
tailor as he took HIS country customers meas
ure. "Wall, rather guess not" was the re
ply. scoring heZ got so fur along you may as
well make summer bottoms to em.''-B0St0n
Commercial Bulletin.
THINGS one would rather have left I'M
said: Miss Constance-"I'm so glad you think
Eve improved in my PLAYING of that nOCturne
OF yours, Herr Bemolski! l hone TO be per
feet in it next time We meet Herr b. gal
iantlyl-"Ach! Miss GOnschdance! L hOpe We
shall meet before Sdt9'-PURch.
PROF. MANsILL. Of Rock Island, continues
to make forecasts of the weather. These pre-
dictions of the Professor are very useful.
when he prophesies a snow storm no ordinary
prudent man viii 90 on q journey unprOvided
with a linen buster. We are rather proud of
our weather prophet.-Peortd transcript.
Mr.. LIsTON MCMILLEN sends us a four
column article proving that Gen. Grant Is the
man-chid referred to in the twelfth chapter
OF the Book of Revelation. Mr.. McMillen
may be right; but the public just now - more
interested in the question whether the dis
tinguished General is suffering from a cancer
or a sore throat.-Ne10 York Tribune.
He was one of the many elegant statesmen
who figure on the pay roll Of the House of
REPRESENTATIVES as ''ianltOrs."
She was frequent visitor to the House gall
lery.
After little Irritation he asked if he might
take the liberty of introducing himself.
"Oh. Oi know yez," said she sweetly. "We're
in the same business. You an me. sure, OIm
a chambermaid, too. "-EechaHge.
81 WOULD like to know if mankind has
really derived any benefit from rOller-skat-
ing - said a minister to an editor.
1t certainly has produced one beneficial
result-one that cannot be too highly esti
mated"
Indeed! What may that be ?"
~ ny. IL has caused marked falling-O Off
in those standard. but tumble-down, banana
skin Jokes" replied the opinion -mOulder
with sigh-EcchaRge.
do you think that the receiver is as bad as
the THE z" asked bashful bachelor OF a win
ming widow, with whom he was discussing
the subject of stolen goods and fences"
"Generally. yes; but there is "A time when
neither is to blame said the sweet siren, with
a blush.
sab! When is that9"
''When "a kiss is stolen" she murmured with
a samples-free sort Of "A look.
The complication was elliptical.-C Chicago
Neics.
ROLLER RINK RUMBLEs (after Southey).--
Rolling, recllng,
Toeing. heelng.
a whiZz. a whirr,
A crowd, a clear,
Slipping, sliding,
OFT colliding.
An outward plunge,
A downward lunge,
! And all in n heap.
The floor they sweep
Up with q squirt,
! A good many hurt,
Meeting, parting.
! Skipping, darling,
Shooting. dashing,
Dumping crashing,
Never firing.
| All perspiring.
| This is the way
| In the present day,
| From dawn till late,
! They roller skate.
st. Pan, Globe.