New-York tribune., 1885-03-29
A NEW-ENGLAND FUNERAL.
DESCRIBED BY ONE oFTHE WATERS"

gradually become civilized and at last enlightened.
Have you any idea tnat it Is sknOwn in what lnky
darkness we siti And yet don't suppose there is
| person in town who cannot read and write L
don't mean that he can spell or put grammatical
| sentence together That power Is not necessary
even to be graduated from tho Centre High School,
| And what do you imagine will be required of us at
that funeral this afternooni We shall not please
them, know and yet am going to try with all
| my might to do what they expect" Thus my SIS
| ter Gertrude on a certain day last summer
| The town of Ransome, which you will not find on
| any map is removed from the seashOre. 1t Is IN
Massachusetts,. 1t is lovely of aspect, with hills
and brooks and rocky pastures, and distant purple
mountains. But 1t is of its people more than OF its
scenery that am going to speak.
IL is almost miracle how such places can still
exist in Massachusetts,; hanlets not half dozen
miles away fro N towns where live ladies and gen
temen who can use a singular verb with singular
subject, and who know what plural means.
great deal hangs on knowledge seemingly 50 SIMPLE
Here in this part of Ransome wo are scorDed IL we
say How are you |" instead of How DO yer
Such is the natural proneness to deprayity that
have basely truckled to popular opinion and lung
about tho wrong verbs recklessly. don't think l
am liked any tho better for 1t, and imagine am
still called "stuck up"
shIiess thingD if you read. 81 amt no time for
readn'," man will say scornfuly; and you shall
see him sitting for hours in a numb sort OF way,
perhaps smoking, perhaps not even doing so much
az that He will tell you he is resting and he
would sincerely believe himself an object tor
blame il he should be scanning O newspaper or
book.
You saw this state of affairs cannot be In Massa-
cbusetts But IL is and though we have lived In
the midst of it for six years, 1t even now seems ~
credible to u.s. What impossible, though invisible,
barrier is there which prevents glimmers OF sense
and refinement aud literary tastes from coming
here, when q few miles away you shall hnd culture
and qepialltyf True there is railway to the
village. but q railway is not solely civIllzer.
DEFY any one to teach these people anything Ihey
may listen, or appear to listen to some ono an
nouncing self-ovidcnt fact, not known 10 tneHi'
and you will see all the time on their faces LOOK
Of dull soorn of you who should believe such
thing "He who would convince the worthy Mr.
Dunderhead of any truth which Dunderhead does
not see must be master of his art"
But was going to tell you about that funerai.
A man living near us had died after long and
noinful illness; my sister and | called to ask tho
family if we could assist them in any way. We
met several women with lugubrious faces who had
been in to see the corpse We were invited IN for
that purpose and as a great treat, but declned
"Can we be of any usef we asked
"WallD with the conventional Yankee nasal,
,vbiob u von aver thought of it, Is that one does
NOT talk through the nose but without the assist
ance of that organ: wall, you couldn't nohow
he walters TO the funeral. now could YET inquired
the widow.
We protested our willingness could wo know
what was the duty of waitcrs.
..Wall you see, when we've all gone to the grave
the walters they git up supper; cofco tea, and
so on There'll be sight o. folks most likely come
back from the grave and they'll be mighty hungry.
You'll have to tend right up to 'em, ye know
Tberen be several tables full. and dishes to wash
Now. could ye. nowf PIl be so much obleeged to
ve Butt she added in thoughtful commiseratlon
of IA " if ye do you can't go TO the grave"
We said we would stay and would try to do
what proper.
"How appetizina going to the grave must be-"
said Gertrude, walked home.
On the way we met Nancy Holland who was TAX
inu down stranger from Mill Village She ex-
planned that her companion had never seen Dir.
Ewell the man, but that she felt wish TO see the
corpse, Mrs Holland was old. and trembling with
tho interest and excitement of the occasion. She
asked if we woro to bo present to the funeriL"
When told that we were to be walters" she
looked at as with unmstakable surprise and envy.
"Be ye, nowf declare told Miss Ewell I'd jes'
as llcve stay an help. ony eau I ieaVe hooerI ye
know" and she went on.
From interviews with several other neighbors we
.ovv that our office wa. n coveted one. Did it not
give an almost unlimited opportunity to peer into
overy part Of tho house to see where dust had col
Iectod to find ont Just how many pies had been
made and to judge pretty accurately whether they
were made as they ought to bel overheard one
decrcplt old woman who remained behind III the
bouse of mourning. say to another as the two tot
tered along the narrow entry through which the
coffin had just been borne'
81 call il odd that Miss Ewoll should a. had them
two gals rs walters; my gals would a been glad to
come, What do they knowf" jerking her head
back in our direction.
OH how hot it wasl 1t was fervent rs day In
Massachusetts, will sometimes be in the summer,
the hoavens being overspread by thin'
copperv haze. and without breath of air. 1t was
the third day of such heat, and every foretold
that the spell would break before night" Mean
wbile il had not broken, and we're In the kitch-
en- brewing coffee and tea. We put two tables end
60 and in the settn ROOM" aud hastened to
spread them with crockery, cake and pie, stacks OF
bread and of cold boiled corned beef.
The cemetery was not far, and we were barely
ready, when carriage after carriage drove back
from the grave and their occupants poured into
tbe house. Whore do the men get those curiously
sbaped sack coats which bag so in the back and
sleoyesi But that tho days of peripatetic female
taors are over, we should say that these garments
were their work. Those mon slouch In and out Of
doors, talking in mumbling voices. while their
women in prim dresses pat their hair before the
little looking glass in the bedroom, then come out
one by one. and peer over tho table at us. They
bnvv wall or how i'll min
ister did One thinks he did not improve the occa-
oon corrcetly. another that he was not sufficiently
"feelin' in his prayer for the widder." "Widders
LII, \, fnr III IcularV