Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-04-10
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.

Little Falls, n. Y, has a skating rink,
but they don't call it the Little Falls
skating rink" because that would be too
suggestive.
An exchange advertises for good up
right boiler" Boilers whose moral char
acter is entirely above aspersion are
scarce. There is apt to be too much of the
"total depravity of inanimate objects"
about them.
Somebody has sent President Cleveland
a can of plums put up in 1860. They have
kept from souring better than the Demo
cratic party has during the intervening
Republican administrations.
If there is any sight connected with the
advent of spring which can truly be called
pathetic, it is the sight of small, delicate
81 O-per-pair lady's rubber LETT sticking
in profound mud hole, from which the
fair pedestrian has barely escaped with
her life.
"What is it makes spring ?" queries Il
poet. We always supposed that the cake
taker in this line was the flea.
An Englishman has patented process
of making butter by electricity. This
kind of butter may perhaps be quicker in
its effects than the old-faShioned grocery
article, but it certainly can not be any
stronger
Baron Tennyson's salary as poet laure-
ate is 1886 year This is within few
dollars as much as first-class newspaper
man gets.
There is man in this city who takes in
washing. He goes around Monday even
ings and scoops it in, lines and all .
The almanac generally gets ahead of
spring.-N. y. PiCdYitne.
Restaurants are now putting up sand
witches for summer picnics-BOStOn COW
riGr
a good printer is a man of the highest
| type. He sticks to his case, and makes it
a rule never to be ont of sorts.-Pdlmer
journal.
Is it doing the correct thing to the city
guardians fora newspaper to put its police
Intelligence under the head, Lat est Club
Movements. '-BostOH TrdHScriDt.
The surest way to excite the ire of u
Louisiana paper nowadays is to contract
| the great event to the New Orleans Expo"
-SprinAfetd Repubticnn.
Among the greatest misfortunes that
can happen to a lady is to be afflicted with
Il stiff neck when she wants to turn her
| Dttlu TO lHt FASTER DOintlS Oh Olict
women.-N. o. PicdUune.
The young man who had just made his
'flrst appearance on any stage was tell
! ing his friends all about it. did you re-
celve any floral tributes ?" he was asked.
No. he replied but | lodged all the
eggs ?''-Erchdngc.
Russia has only CPS periodicals. When
Il Russian editor goes to lunch and is away
more than half an hour a new one is APP
moi tad lu nfti NJ 81
is written up.-BostOn Post.
Caucasian tramp-"My colored friend
please lend me a quarter; | fought, bled
and suffered four years i'll the Union army
to make you IA free man." Colored gen
tleman-"iou did your duty, sab but
bout loaning you dat quarter, don't keer.
sab, to revive de bitter memories of the
wah Uterus SQtings.
A headline in an exchange is, lode to
Rum" This seems to be carrying the re-
form III spelling II tritie too far.-N. y.
graphic.
A Canadian fisherman has walked
across Lake Erie on the ice. The publica-
ton of this fact i'll banking periodicals.
may afford II timely hint to economical
cashiers. Uudelphia Nelcs.
Ingersoll, who is going to Europe, says
he will not lecture while there. 1t is not
known why Bob regards the old world so
kindly.-PrOgres..
1t is said that there are probably not
more than ten peers in London who live
on their own property. 1t will be seen,
therefore, that there isn't so much differ
ence, after all, between a peer of the
realm and some of our American Con
gressmen.-BOStOn Transcript.
Mr.. Jackson, the new minister to MeXi-
co, has written several poems. Mr.. Jack
son, however, is sending his verses to the
press, did not append Il request for six