davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
The Presidents Vacation.

Mrs Fizzlegig was looking over the
morning paper with one hand. and
reading the riot act to her husband
with the other, because he was late to
breakfast:
II notice here, she said, ''that Pres
ident Cleveland has gone off on sum-
mer vacation"
~ don't see what he wants to do that
for replied Fizzlegig, as he jerked his
neck into the collar.
You'd like to 60 away to some nice
cool place. wouldn't youP'
of course, but Cleveland is very
differently situated"
you're both men, and just alike,
though, amt youp"
"a suppose so; but Cleveland has got
no wife to make it too warm for him at
home. ~ Merchant Traveller.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
OLD AGE.

Some Thoughts Concerning the Possibility
and Probability of CentenarIans.
Leaving out of consideration the old
famous species of longevity and all
doubtful modern instances of men and
women living to be a hundred years
old or more, there remain enough of
centenarians the date of whose birth is
recorded, and the fact of whose living
a century or more is beyond dispute.
Indeed, such cases seem to be growing
more and more common, and attract
no great attention. Yet there are
few spectacles more profoundly inter-
esting than that of life protracted be-
You'd the ordinary limit of old age. To
have survived all or almost all of ones
generation, is itself proof of some
sort of superiority of tissue or habit
environment. It is to have held
held out longest in the hopeless fight of
all things living against death, and per-
haps to have shown that most men die
before their time.
Let men affect what pretence of pes
simism and disgust with life, they will,
they can not help loving life and cling
ing to it. Religious enthusiasm may
regard it as but a passage the sooner
crossed the better to a higher form of
existence; and inability to perform its
duties or incapacity for its enioyments
may lead unfortunate natures to throw
it blindly away; but to men of thor
oughly sane organization and
energies evenly developed, life is
something to be loved for itself,
and all means and instances of its pro-
longation are worthy to be studied.
Men whom life disgusts or bores are
deprived of the faculty of Judging it
properly. Life is not for them, but for
those who know how to use it; and to
those who know, and are SO fortunate
In mind and circumstance as to expand
and not contract their sympathies, it
must be as desirable, as interesting, rs
well worth living at eighty or ninety as
at twenty-five. Nor need the strength
of even fivescore years be labor and
sorrow if the faculties be, as sometimes
they are. unimpaired.
1t is sometimes said that the men
who really live wear out early, and
that people live to be old by creeping
sluggishfy along. burning life's candle
to the socket by niggardly husbandry
of its light. But aside from the fact
that the names of some of the greatest
thinkers and scholars of the past are to
be found in the lists of the octogenari-
ans and nonagenarians, is it not true
that it is this Intellectual sluggishness,
this want of hexibility to meet the
changing conditions which the change
of years brings. this want of interest in
contemporary life. that prevents many
men from attaining to fortunate old
agea So long as a man keeps his fac
ulties employed and interested, so long
as he is alert to all the movements OF
the world about him, so long he
remains young, and so much the
greater are his chances of coming
to what is called old age. That torpid
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
The Philosophy of Disease

The first attempt to explain the phil
osophy of disease and the action OF
medicine was made by Pythagoras in
the year 500 B. G. Hippocrates, the
father of medicine, fourished about
422 B. c. Galen, born 131 A. D., was
the oracle of medical science. About
9s9 Avicenna, an Arab, wrote a system
of medicine. The dogmatic age of
medicine lasted until the reformation,
when it was attacked by Paracelsus
and Vesalius early in the sixteenth cent
ury. An entirely new system of physi-
illogical and pathological speculation
was furnished in 1923 by DR.. Harvey's
discovery of the circulation of the
blood; and since 1909 medical practice
has been completely transformed by
physiological and chemical researches.
--EEch0HQe,
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
ru,,a. anortinr MAN Ral1 ON.

When Lewis r. Redmond, the South
Carolina moonshiner, cornered, after for
eight wears eluding the Government off,
Gals, was asked to surrender, he exc
claimed:
"Never, to men who fire at my backp
Before he was taken, five bullets had
gone clear through him, but strange to re-
late, he got well, in the hands OF a rude
backwoods nurse"
Bv the way, if Garfield had been in tho
hands of q backwoods nurse, he might
have lived. A heap of volunteer testi-
mony against the infallibility of the ply
sicians has been accommodating of late, and
people are encouraged to do their own
doctoring more and more. 1t is cheaper
and quite as certain.
Before Detective Curtin, of Buffalo,
caught Tom Ballard he covered" him
with his revolver. Tom saw the point and
tumbledl
Joe Goss was "coveredo few weeks ago
and he tumbled, and so did Dan Mace.
Death fetched EN-" with that dreaded
weapon-kidney disease. But they should
have been lively and drawn first. They
could easily have disarmed the monster
had they covered him with that dead shoe
Warmers safe cure, which, drawn
promptly, always takes the prey. 1t is
doubtless true that sporting men drea1
this enemy more than any mishap of their
profession, and presumably this explain:
why they as rule are SO partial to tina
celebrated "dead shot"
Redmond was right. No man should
surrender when attacked in the back. HI
should draw" face about and proceed tt
the defence, for such attacks, so common
among all classes, will fetch a man every
time unless covered" by that wonderful
ly successful dead shot. "-SpOrtsmGn''
| Ne1US.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
LOVES CRUCIAL TEST.


An Angel Until She Began Pooling Around
the Flour Barrel.
''Oh, Herbert, dear, you do not love
me! / know it, and the thought will
kill MEL
"But Madge-"
"Why didn't die before I found it
outp Oh, why didn't 1 die two months
ago-yes, before we were married."
"But, Madgie, dear
Don't say that, Herbie, for you
don't mean it; l know you don't. Oh!
oh! boo-hoop'
won't you hear me, MadgeP L.
"Oh, Herbert! Boo-hoo!T
"Madgie--"
"Boo-hoor'
"Precious, what is the matter?''
''You don't love me any more, Her.
bic! Oh, l know you don't!'
Eyes. | do, darling; better than
ever"
mo you don't, Herbie; no, you
don't"
Eyes, 1 do, sweet; honor bright
DOR
Mono; no-nor'
what put that silly notion into your
head, little girlP''
II can tell. Herbie! I've noticed
you, and l see that you don't love me
one bit any more! Oh! oh! Boo
hoo!"
"What does this mean, darlingP
What have Idone, and what have you
seen that troubles you SOP Tell me, at
once, or I'll go distracted, too"
"Oh, Herbie! I've watched you-boo-
hoor'
watched me! Good heavens!
Madgie! What does this meanP What
are you sayingP Speak at once-this
suspense is tortured
'sOh, Herbie! You-you-you--"
''What is it, MadgieP In 49,, on s
name, speak, before lose my senses.
Out with It: What have done?"
"Oh, Herbie! You don't you
don't"
Don't what. darlingP For the sake
of all that's precious, tell me without
losing another minute.
You don't eat my bread any more,
Herbie! I've watched you, and you
haven't even tasted it for two whole
DAYS; and worked so hard to make it,
tool"
Heavens, child Do you want me
to commit suicdep'
Mono, Herbie; but if you loved
me, know you'd eat my bread"
Love you, Madgie! love you as
the growing plant does the sunlight
as water does its level-but life is sweet
to me, dearest, and / havn't the cour-
age to take such awful chances. Yes,
darling, l love you with fervor that is
frantic; with passion that is MADNESS
without you; but can't go your bread,
my dear, and chance the consequences.
Let us put it where the neighbors' cats
can find it. and patronize the baker
from this time on, and we can be ever
SO happyl You're an angel, Madgie,
till you get to fooling around a flour bar
rel. Don't do it any more, darling,
and you'll always be a cherub."
''But can't throw it away, Herbie.
It's the first ever made, and HAUNT
the heart to do it. 1 know you don't
love me, or you'd eat it ON that account
boo, hool"
"Well, there, sis-don't boo-hoo any
more, and I'll eat it if it kills me; and
/ feel dead sure it will. But if / out
live this loaf, please don't try it again.
If you love me. - Chicago Ledger.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

and dark old age wherein the physical
powers have feebly survived the decay
of the intellectual is but death devoid
of its peace and dignity; but what time
of mans years is more splendid and
imposing than the tranquil old age OF a
life which has widened az it length
ened. the majestic age of Plato, Michael
Angelo and GotheP
The ordinary life of man seems to b
deprived and defrauded, compared with
these lives to which wisdom and length
of days were given. The full century
of existence which Sir Moses Monte
foire filled with beneficent activities is
not too long to live. Indeed, instead
of regarding lives so long as something
abnormal and extraordinary, they
ought perhaps to be regarded as COM
ing nearer to the full measure and best
rule of existence, while the lives of
most men are shortened and cut off
before their real maturity. Old age
has been and is too much regarded as
but the lees of life, unlovable, squalid
and pitable, as the Greeks were always
bewailing it to be. Men want to live
long, but hate old age. The grand
secular life which ended at Ramsgate
the other day, would serve to teach the
thoughtless and the foolish how noble
and desirable is an old age of activity
and wisdom. Men at the longest do
not get so much of life that they can
afford to neglect even the smallest part
of it. And in view of such lives rs that
of the Hebrew philanthropist, we'll
conditioned old age seems only a con-
tinuing and ripper youth.
"The best Is yet to be:
The last of life, for which the nrst was
made.
M Y San.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
"FOOls Rush In, Where Angels Fear to
Tread"

So impetuous youth is often given to
folly and indiscretions; and, as a result,
nervous, mental and organic debility fol.
low, memory is impaired, self confidence
is lacking; at night bad dreams occur,
premature old age seems setting in, ruin is
in the track. In confidence, you can, and
should write to DR.. R. V. Pierce, of Buffalo,
N. Y, the author of treatise for the bene-
fit of that class of patients, and describe
your symptoms and sufferings. He can
cure you at your home, and will send you
full particulars by mail.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

The VoLTAIc BELT Co., of Marshall, Mich,
offer to send their celebrated ELECTRO Vol
TAIC BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES
on trial for 80 days, to men tyoung or old)
afflicted with nervous debility, loss of vital
ity and all kindred troubles. Also for rheu-
matism, neuralgia ,paraly and many 9th
or diseases. Complete restoration to health,
vigor, and manhood guaranteed. No risk in
Cured, as 30 days. trial is allowed. Write
them at once for illustrated pamphlet, free.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

The Saturday ReUie,O, commenting
upon the effort of writer to prove,
from Shakespeare's works, that he
was u lawyer, makes the point that
similar processes of reasoning would
prove him to have been bishop, q
privy councillor. traveller, q soldier,
an apothecary, a painter, a forester.
an artifieer and husbandman, as well
as . lawyer.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

BEST French Brandy, Smart Weed, ia
maica Ginger and Camphor Water, as
combined in DIR. PierSe's Extract of Smart
rhea, cholera morbus, dysentery or
bloody -flux; also, to break up colds fevers
and inhammatory attacks if used early.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

II when you call for Hop Bitters the druggist hands
out anything but Hop Btters" with green cluster
of Hops on white label, shun that druggist as Won
would viper; and II he has taken your money for a
bogus stuff indict him for the fraud and sue him for
damages for the swindle, and we will reward YOU
literally for the conviction 'ON
See, U. S. Court Injunction against c. D. Warner
Druggists, and other imitators, take warning
HOP nITTERG MfISiG IN
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
Y SPEAKING of butter-the poor We have
always with you.-E1chdnge.
"IS THERE no balm in Gilead2
Is there no physician there2"

Thanks to DIR. Pierce, there is a balm in
his "Golden Medical Discovery''-a "balm
for every wound" to health, from colds,
coughs, consumption, bronchitis, and all
chronic, blood, lung and liver affections.
OF druggists.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
HAY-FEVER.

4 have been a Hay
Fever sufferer three years;
have often heard Ely's
Cream Balm spoken of in
the highest terms, did not
take much stock in it be-
cause of the many quack
medicines. A friend per-
suaded me to try the Balm,
and with the most wonder
full success.-T. s. GEER,
Cvracusp- N Y.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

A SCHOOL journal advises: "Make the
school interesting" That's what the
small boy tries to do to the best of his abil-
ty.-Burlington Free Press.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

Pixies TOoTHACHE DROPS cure in l minute Csc
Glenn's Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. 25c.
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Corns Bunions
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

IF afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25e.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

AN inferior article is dear at any price.
Remember this, land buy Frazer Axle Grease.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

"THERE she blows" the old whaler re-
marked when his wife commenced to give
him a curtain lecture.-Pdlnaer Mass
journal.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

A HALF holiday is better than no loaf
NJ Y Journal.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

EXPERIENCE is the cream of life-but
it often sours with age Whitehall Times.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

Ny wife has been sorely afflicted with Eczema or
Salt Rheum from infancy. We tried every known
remedy but to no avail She was also afflicted with
periodical nervous headache, sometimes followed
by an Intermittent fever, that her life became
burden to her. Finally determined to try s. S. S.
She commenced seven weeks ago. After the third
bottle the Inflammation disappeared, and spots
dried up and turned white and scaly and finally she
sembing pure salt. She Is now taking the sixth bot
tle appearance of the disease lis gone and her
flesh is soft and white as chid's. Her headaches
have disappeared and she enjoys eonly good health
she has known in 40 years No wonder she deems
every bottle Of S. s. S. is worth Thousand times its
weight in gold. JOHN F. BRADLEY,
Detroit, Mich, May 16, 1885. "A Griswold st.
For sale by all druggists.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO..
N. Y, 157 W. 2SdSt Drawer s, Atlanta Ga.
A. N K, #, IO46
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
A Clear Skin

is only a part of beauty;
but it is a part. Every lady
may have it; at least, what
looks like it. Magnolia
Balm both freshens and
beauties.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
Young Men, Read This.

"BEwARE of limitations" as the monkey
said TO the dude.-BWlingt0n Free Press.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07

WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS
please say you saw the advertisement in
this paper. Advertisers like to know
when and where their advertisements are
paying best.
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
EDUCATIONAL.

Union COLLEGE OF LAW, Chicago. Ill :,, The
u Fall term will begin SEPTEMBER r. F1r III
address H. booAh' NhioHsO' -
The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-11-07
CREAM BALM

has gained an enviable rep.
utation wherever known,
dlsplacing all other prepa
rations. A particle is APP
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1885-03-05

The disease is best known in Europe
under the names of cholera, cholera
morbus, Asiatic cholera, since the epi-
demic of LSl7, to 1919, in which the
English Army, under the command of
the Marquis of Hastings during war
against the natives, was rendered unit
for fighting and almost annihilated.
But cholera has never visited Europe
till the present century, when in 1880
it appeared in Russia and spread to
Poland. where war was prevailing.
Since that time, sometimes at longer
and sometimes at shorter intervals,
cholera has sometimes appeared in
Europe. The question why cholera re-
manned q thousand years in India, be-
fore it began to migrate is one of great
interest, but one which cannot be sat
isfactorily answered. The principal
consideration appears to me to be that
the event happened at the time when
intercommunication in all directions,
both by land and water, had become
more rapid. The first steamship ap-
pearcd in the Indian waters ut the be-
ginning of the second decade of the
present century. BY land also inter-
course was greatly accelerated. The
huSSlanS possibly lOOh cnOlera lrOIn
India, Arabia, Afghanistan. or Persia,
through couricrs and stagc-coaches. 1t
soon became clear that cholera, the
specific cholcra-germ. was in some way
or other propagated along the paths of
human intercourse, aud it also became
evident that unless the germs found a
suitable soil within certain time they
did not flourish. Observers soon dis
covered that cholera was more prone
to appear in certain regions and affect
certain localities, while it summed
other districts; and, again, that other
regions were only visited at intervals
OF many years. 1t is also fact that
Asiatic cholera never yet appeared at q
place which had not previously been
in communication with region where
cholera prevailed; and, further. that
the disease from an infected locality
never yet passed on to another place if
the journey lasted a certain time with
out interruption. The large inter-
course between India and Europe, more
particularly England, by means of ships
which sailed round the Cape of Good
Hope, had never succeeded in carrying
cholera from India to England.
Mar con PettenkOter, an Popular Sci-
snce Monthly for February.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1885-03-05
New Dial-Division for Timepieces.

Now that the nations have adopted
the plan of a universal day." begin
ming for all the world at Greenwich
midnight and counted from zero up to
twenty-four hours, a new dial-diviSion
for our clocks and watches has become
great deSideratum. The inventor
who deviscs Il simple and perfectly
clear method of indicating to the eye
and ear the hour reached by watch and
clock, respectively, will be public
benefactor. 1t will be manifestlv un-
satisfactory to have our clocks striking
"a O'Clock. and it seems difficult and
expensive to have our watches recon-
structed TO mark twenty-four hours by
a single revolution of the hour hand.
In respect to public clocks it would be
very objectiOnal to have the dial divid-
ed into twenty-four parts, because the
time of day has often to be read Off at
great distances, and even now, with
the twelve-hour division, especially in
dim light, it is hard to deciphcr them.
To have two cOnccntric circles on q
double twelve divis' on plan (the hour
hand thus pointing to and Is o'clock,
etc.) would be equally confusing.
Neither watches nor clocks so con-
structed could be read instantaneously
or without tedious mental effort, aud it
would be, on artistic grounds objec-
tiOnablc.
TO meet these difficulties it has been
we'll suggested by Mr.. Hopkins, an En-
gliSh scientist, that the hours should be
contained in one circle, as now; bnt in ..
stead of being numbered consecutively
from to "a, they might be arranged in
Roman numerals, as at present, and if
figured alternately would be almost, if
not quite, as distinct as on the faces of
our present style of clocks. Thus, the
hours (the midnight of the worlds
initial meridian), =, 4, 6. ETC., would be
shown in figures, but the intermediate
or odd hours, as IL, 13, 10, etc., co lld
be distinguished by an arrow head or
circular dot. As regards striking the
hours the strokes might be confined to
twelve, as now, but the hours from
thirteen to twenty-four might be dis
tinguished by being preceded by two
strokes in rapid succession. In lieu of
this plan for striking the hours it has
been proposed that clocks should be
made TO beat the strokes in pairs-e. g,
two strokes and rest, two strokes and
a rest, followed by one stroke, to mean
5 O'Clock. The question of adapting
ordinary timepieces to the registration
OF the universal time adopted by the
Prime Meridian Conference is, however,
so complicated that perhaps the best
means of settling it would be to call Il
conference of clock and watch makers
to discuss the subject in all its bearings.
and to give the world the result OF their
deliberations-N T. UtruM
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1885-03-05
Better Than q Dagger.

They sat on opposite sides OF the
strcet-car, and he settled himself back
for long stare at her. He began at
the feather of her hat. and had got as
far down as her throat whrn she could
stand Il no longer. She didn't ring
the bell and leave the car in a huff;
neither did she change her seat to
avoid his impudent stare. She had al
ready paid her fare, but she felt for her
purse, TOOK from il Il silver dollar, and
extending it to the fellow she sweetly
asked:
''Will you please pay my faree"
"Aw-oh &C certainly with pleas
urc," he replied, and he showed the
dollar to the driver.
Driver shook his head.
"Change" shouted the man.
mo good-that's counterfeitr'
The man turned red and green and
blue and crushed strawberry. He in
spected the dollar and saw that the
driver was right. After a painful mo-
ment he slipped it into his vest pocket,
fished out dollar bill, and when the
change had been given him he handed
the lady 95 cents and retreated to the
back platform 10 swear.
Il will send it to so I've charity" ="
whispered the lady to her left-hand
neigh ,or "The object was to get rid
OF his impudent presence; it is an eX-
pertinent that never fails. ."-Detroit
Free Press.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1885-03-05
For Lovers OF the Antique,

Looking into antiquity. the date at
which the following jokes were COM
paratively fresh seems to be about rs
appended:
A great attractiOn-a magnet. 1881.
The cradle is the rock of ages. 1890.
Frozen fruit-a nice seckle pear.
1852.
Can mustard plasters be classed as
drawing materials? 1888.
A mustard plaster may not be very
artistic, but it draws well. 1925.
They call them flies in a theatre be-
cause they have wings on each side.
1884.
Two physicians of different schools,
quarreliEg over the merits of their di-
verse theories, are an absurd paradox.
I746.
A bawl room-the nursery. Enoch
got this off when Methuselah was 4
baby Marlborough Times.
Because Chinaman has a private
cue it does not necessarily follow that
he is an adept at billiards. This Is far
fetched, but 50 is the Chinaman. 170S.
well. John, now is business with
you?' bad, very bad" You haven't
been able to make anything, then9"
"Oh. yes / have" .'What?" IAN
assignment" .'Oh!" 1867.