The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-09-17
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

For truly deep feeling let me call
your attention to o negro waiter who
has to stand by while the hotel guest
whom he is serving eats watermelon
Utica Observer.
One cause of the throat and lung
trouble in this country is the fact that
all of us sing so much and so sweetly.
Neither the throat nor the lungs were
intended to stand such strains.-Detroit
Free Press.
Sweet nuisance mo; the scene of
The Mikado' is not laid in Ireland. It
isn't pronounced that way. anyhow.
See here! Amt you the girl that
asked us if ragout was the French for
putting on your best clothes ?''-Boston
Post.
-Enraptured young woman. gazing
upward Ito young newspaper MANI =
What a wonderful tn ng is space?
Do you ever contemplate its i'm
mens.typ Young newspaper man
Indeed, do. / have column of it to
fill every day.-M. Y Sun.
An exchange asks: "Why wasn't
the spring chicken chosen as an en-
blem of this country?" We can NOT
answer with any degree of exactness.
but suppose the fathers of the country
were not familiar with antediluvian
ornithology. = Rorbury Aduocate.
1t is reported that the maple, here
| tofore a healthy tree. is dying of
mysterious disease. This is natures
way of removing what is no longer of
use, since dealers in maple sugar"
now sell compound composed largely
of the settling Of molasses casks.-Bos-
ton Traveller.
-Verasopht-Yo are looking charm
ing tonight, Estelle. Estelle Charm
ing is too cold word. Verasopht-
Then I'll call you lemons" Estelle-
Lemons. sir! Do You mean to insult
me? Verasopht-My darling. you do
not read the papers or you would know
that lemons are very, very dear.-Ph;!-
adelphia Call.
"A California chap has caused the
arrest of two young ladies. who, he al
leges, waylaid aud robbed him. As he
is dude who has neither money nor
brains, it is difficult to decide what they
could steal from him. Perhaps they
wanted to measure his head so they
could get pattern for pincushion.-
Mewm,dn Ir1dependent.
| -''What fine evenings these are for
studying natural history" '.Yes. "
Last night about sunset 1 was struck
by the similarity between my six-year-
old and the house-fi;es. was trying to
drive the flies ont of the house and coax
the boy in. They all moved at pre-
c;sely the same rate of speed and with
Just the same amount of dodging.-
Chicago Tribune.
-'.My dear Mr.. Fitzsniffle. Miss
Jones and have had quite discussion
and we have agreed to let You decide.
Which is entitled to the palm of excel
lence, Keats or Shelley?"
"Well, weally. Miss Brown, would
rather not undertake to decide that
! question. My acquaintance with both
the gentlemen is very limited. The
fact is, they don't belong to my set, you
, know.-Milwaukee Sentinel.
Which is the diamond weddingf
The twenty-tifth is the silver anniver.
sarv and the fiftieth the golden, as al
| agree. But, while in America we add
twenty-five years to the fifty to find the
time of the diamond anniversary. they
! act in England as thought comes with
the completion of the SEVENTEEN year OF
} married life. Richard Wortley and
Elizabeth, his wife, welded at the very
time the guns were booming at Water
loo, recently celebrated their seventieth
marriage anniversary at Sheepshead
England, and the papers there alludt
TO Ii a. . diamond wsddipgsA fjAissdo1
eA8a ffSsA