Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1885-11-10
SOME OF sTORRss RRlCnT SAY.
INGB.

No lawyer at the Chicago bar was equal
to the late genial, witty +. A. Storrs in
quickness or brilliancy Of repartee. His
replies generally came like flashes Of
lightning, az per these samples:
Once in court StOrrs made an objec-
ton to the testimony of certain wit
ness, whsreupon the opposing counsel
remarked:
at hurts you to meet the truth"
"Oh, no." replied Storrs, as quick as
fash; 81 never meet the truth. 1t
and l always travel in the same direc-
tion."
In similar vein was his rather cruel
remark to q friend of his Who was In
the witnesses chair, and who declined TO
make Q statement just as Storrs evil
IDENTIFY wanted it.
81 should like to favor you, Mr..
Storrs," said the witness, "but l have
even more regard for the truth than for
you"
"Oh, very WE'LL" was the lawyers re-
ply; but q man at your age ought not
to desert old friends and take up with
strangers"
"Oh, yes" said Storrs once Of an
eminent and wealthy CbicagOas, So
and-so is q moe man, q very nice man
| never observed kut one thing ebjec-
tionable in him, and that 10 that he is
insufferabIe."
A friend once chidsd him upon his
inn Evidence, and urged him to prepare
competence for bis old age.
"Old age" said Storrs, prophetically,
" 10 rusted stovtpipe. may burn ont,
bat shall never rust"
On another occasion, bis reckisesnsss
with money being advertsd to, ne re-
torted: =.
Money! II tried to saveit ] shsuld
become its slave. Nov 1t 10 my weapon.
when I ding il at people they become
slaves Of mine"
10 an attorney who in court sprung
an ingenious but snsuccessful surprise
Storrs triumphantly remarked:
"You attempted murder and ACORN
plished suicide"
some of the sharpsst shafts that ever
left Storms quiver sefe aimed q Hayes.
His veil known description Of Hayes At
she Garfield funeral will here bear rspe-
titioa:
There stood b. b. Hayes clad in .
long linen buster, With straw hat on
the back of his head, holding in his right
hand Q yellev vorstsd bag with the let
ters Il. b. II. worked IN purple By Lucy
on one side. And no one spoke 70 him
except policeman, and be told him to
keep OF the grass"
Duriag the campaign Of 1876 6torrs
lluchsd With Hayes ut Fremont. In
describing the meal year OF two After
ward be said:
1T was q royal banquet. Al one end
of the table eat Rutherford, with q plate
Of clipped beef in front Of him. Al
the ether end vas Lucy, With ssms baked
apples and bread. In front Of me sat
Schuyler Colfax. Between ~ vas q
pitcher of ice water"
T. O. CrAvfosd recently related new
and characteristic aneodote OF 6torrA.
He vas taking Q brief ~ q SaratoQa,
and one day greop Of nillieaaifes b.
gan 10 chat hin about his lask Of pru-
denee In money mastera-- Storfs sud
denly turned upon his tormentors and
exclaimed:
You rich fellows appear 70 think that
money making 10 % intellectual pro-
osss. and that the wealth acquired BY
you proves that 700 are very superior
kind Of men. Yoo are very mach mis-
taken. There 10 nothing intellectual
about scqoisitivensss- IL IL merely an
animal trait. Il 10 les highly developed
in you gentlemen than 10 10 In the chip
muak. The beaver 10 very mach your
superior in this regard. Where are the
rich men in history? There are tvo
only Who live in the legends Of litsra-
ture-Dives. Who survives On account Of
his fortunate connection With Q pauper,
and Crussus. because his name has been
used by posts merely - Synonym.
Gentlemen, where arc the seOekholdeFs
Who built the Paxthsooo? Douoeiess
in their day thsy ~ Afosnd IN Athsas
and spoke Of The Ans WORK thss Phidiss
vas doins for them But, asutisDsn,
vbees are the stoekholdsss tooAy and
where u Phidiasfs