The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-07-11
A TALE OF THE TEMPER.
BY MARK LEMON.

At the little town Of Stocksbawler, on the lower Rhine, in the year of grace, lS,o, resided Hans Scrapeschins, an in- dus.rious and close-shaving barber. His industry met with due encouragement from the bearded portion of the com munity and the softer sex, whose great est fault is 6ckleness, generally selected Hans for the honor of new-fronting them, when they had become tired of the ring lets nature had bestowed, and which time had frosted. Hans continued to shave and thrive, and all the careful old burghers foretold of his future well doing |; when he met with a misfortune which promised for time to shut up his shop and leave him beggar. He fell in love. Neighbors warned Hans of the conse-
 quences of his folly but all remonstrance
 was vain. Customers became scarce,
 wearing out their patience and their wigs together; the shop became dirty, and winter saw the flies of summer heaped on the show-board.
 Agnes Flirtitz was the prettiest girl in Stocksbawler. Her eyes were as blue as
 summers sky, her cheeks as fosy as an autumn sunset, and her teeth as white as WlubCt ShOWs AACA hdhk W 0S c OCaukltuI Haxen-not a drab-but that peculiar seyen-penny-moist-sugar tint which the poets of old were wont to call golden. Her voice was melodious; in short, she would have been very desira ble, lovable young lady, if she had not been a CO., quette. Hans met her at festival given in commemoration of the de mise of the burgomaster's second wife-I beg par don, mean in celebration of his union with his third bride. From that day Hans was lost barber. Sleeping, walk ing, shaving, curling, weaving or powder ing, he thought oi nothing but Agnes |; and his love dreams placed him in all kinds of awkward predicaments.
 And Agnes-what thought she of the unhappy barber3 Nothing, except that he was presumptuous puppy, and wore very unfashionable garments. Hans re- ceived an intim ationsof this latter opiz- ion and after sundry quailings and mis- givings, he resolved to dispose of his re- maining stock in trade, and for once dress like gentleman. The measure had been taken by the tailor; the gar ments had been cut. pasted, and tried on, and Hans was standing at his door in state of feverish excitement, awaiting their arrival in finished condition Gas which Agnes was to be presen), when a wished him at the-next barber's; but there was something so unpleasantly positive in the visitor appearance, that he had not the power to object, so politely bowed him into the shop. The stranger removed his cap, and discovered two very ugly protuberances, one on each side of h,s head, and most unphrenolog- ical in shape. Hans commenced opera tions the father dried as fast as he laid it on, and the razor emitted little sparks, as it encountered the bristles on the strangers chin.
 Hans felt particularly uncomfortable, and not word had hitherto passed on either side, when the stranger abruptly questioned the barber: Have yeu any schnapps in the house Hans jumped like parched pea. Without waiting for a reply, the stranger rose and opened the cupboard. never take anything stronger than water," said Hans, in reply to the "pshaw 1" which broke from the strangers lips, as he smelt at the con- tents of little brown pitcher. "Worse fool, you, " muttered his customer. Here, taste that-some of the richest grape blood of Rheinga; and he handed Hans small flask, which the sober barber respectfully declined. "Hal Ha! and yet you hope to thrive with the women" said the stranger. "No wonder that Agnes treats you as she does. But drink. man, drink i" The stranger took a pipe, and coolly seated himself again in his chair, hung one leg over the back of another chair, and striking his 6nger briskly down his nose, elicited therefrom then he pufed and puffed, till every moth in the shop coughed aloud. The uneasiness of Hans increased, and he looked towards the door with the most cowardly intention and To! two laugh ing, dimpled faces were peeping in at them. Hal how are you ?" said the stranger ~come in come in P and to Hans astonishment two very equivoc.l damsels stepped into his shop. Hans felt scandalized, and was about to make a powerful remonstrance, when his eye encountered that of his impertinent cns- toner. From the latteg's sinister expres- sion he thought it wise to be silent. One or the damseis seated herSeH upon the strangers knees, whilst the other looked most coaxingiy to the barber; who, how ever, remained proof to all her winks and blinks and wreathed smiles S'Sblitxen ls exclaimed the provoked lady, the mans an iciclep
 Hans, you're a fool!' said the stranger; and his inamorata concurred in the opinion. The flask was again prof. ie!ed-the eye artillery again brought into action. but Hans remained constant to Pump-water and Agnes Flirtitx.
 The stranger rubbed the palm of his hand on one of his head ornaments, as though he were somewhat peEplexed at the conduct of the barber then rising he gracefully led the ladies out As he stood with one foot on the doorstep, he tuned his head scornfnily over his sAouldez, and said: "Hans, you are