Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-02-03
HUM0RS OF THE DAY.

News TO be found in every city--ave.
nuts.
THE blind is never guilty of makina
the remark, I" / will see you tomorrow r
The advance cry of civilization is
more light !" And the woodman's ak
blazes away.
"WHY men drink is what staggors u.s."
sayss woman's journal. What men drink
is what staggcrs them.
The Indian and women are very much
alike in their ways. Both put on their
war paint when they go out to capture
something.
PRAYER is the "local" and the sermon
the editorial of the Sabbath morning
service. - Whitehall Times. And the
music is the advertisement.
ONCE in awhile an admiring friend
asks: "Are you the funny man of the
Derrick 2" whereupon we blush and
reply by asking: "Do 1 look like a
d. f|-Ot city DERRICK.
A LITTLE girl in public school the
other day was parsing the word "angel. "
Coming to the gender, she stopped dis.
mayed, and asked her teacher il there
were any men angels in heaven.
CONVERSATION on q seaside hotel YER
anda between a young man and an elderly
guest: Young man" must have seen
you somewhere, sir?" Elderly gent.
very likely; 1 am pawnbroker."
THi correspondent who wrote from
Saratoga that "Miss A has the
iantiest feet Of any belle here" had to
leave town suddenly when the paper
arrived with the superlative adjective
changed to "dirtiest."
IT MAY be well enough to "stoop to
conquer" but you'd better stand up and
strike right out from the shoulder. Your
adversary might kick you under the chin
while you are STOPPING. g.-Reokuk Gate
city.
AN AGRICULTURAL paper has an article
on kicking COWS. 1t is hard TO imagine
man who can be so mean as to 90
around kicking these useful and inoifen-
'ive animals, bat we suppose there are
such wretches, or the article wouldn't
have been written.
A PRETTY style Of hair dressing for the
morning" says fashion journal, sis to
wave the hair" We agree with the above.
In the morning 1t is not only pretty but
useful fashion for women to snatch all
Iheir hair of the back of the chair where
it treposes during the night, and wave it
around the room.
THR teacher had grown eloquent in
picturing to his little pupils the beau
lios of heaven, and he finally asked /.
"What kind Of little boys go to heaven y
A lively four year-old boy with kicking
boots, hourished his fist. Well, you
may answer" said the teacher. dead
ones |" the little fellow shouted at the
extent of his lungs.
THERE was once a cavalry Colonel,
Whnse swearing was simply intolOnel;
VIII, u r. Quested TO pause,
lie replied /" No; because
lam suffering from agony intolonel."
There was once a lady whose daughtf
Grew T pidly stnuter and shaughteri
When they said, " Is 1t ale2n
she replied, turning pale,
"1gricve much to say # is paughter."
A LITTLE girl about five years old,
before retiring the other night, was told
by her mother that if she did not keep
the cover on she would have to be pun
ished. This annoyed the little one very
much, as she found it difficult to manage
the cover. 1t was her custom to repeat
short prayer before going to he'd. After
the usual prayer she added "God
bless papa and mamma, and help me to
keep the cover on, for Christ's sake.
Amen"