Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-11
A MiStinkered Clock.

have always clung affectionately
to the theory that no poor man should
ever hire anybody else to do what he
himself can do about his premises. l
am opposed to hiring tramps to eat up
the substance of hard-wOrking indi-
vidual, like an editor, hence | never al
low one to saw wood for his breakfast
at my place.
The other day a tramp called at my
house. He had kit of tinkering in
struments and displayed a burning de-
sire to heal the eccentricities of our
clock, which never could be satisfied
unless it was from four minutes to
three days slow. | was at first dispos-
ed to let him give it two or three expert
mental links, but when he informed
ME that his time was very valuable,
and the wear and tear of his brain
very severe in the performance of such
offices of human benefaction, l con-
cluded to do the job myself
That afternoon | went down town
and paid 81 TO hardware man for the
necessary labor-saving machinery. |
felt tina. 81 was not an eXtravagant
price to pay for set of tools that
would tinker me during the entire pc
riod of human life, so | hurried home
and went for that clock.
NV wife spread white paper on the
dining-table for me and it was not long
before had the viscera of that clock
scattered about me like the shattered
remains of brass foundry after a cy-
clone hiss toyed with it. No wonder it
was slow! Every cog and journal was
clogged with dirt and stiffened with
oil. | rubbed up the parts carefully,
and then my wife leaned lovingly over
my shoulder and remarked that she
could not comprehend how in the
world would ever get all that stuff
into it again. / replied that it took
L:-L dor OF cenius'po- 10 that, and
drawing myself up proudly assured her
that l was fully equal to the situa-
ton.
Then l began to put the clock to-
gether, and soon had it full, but there
were wheels and eccentrics and levers
enough left to make another clock. l
feel proud of my grand achievements.
| had often heard that ECONOMY is
wealth." and l had saved enough of
that clock to pay for a new hair-spring
in my watch. put on the hands and
wound up the rejuvenated time-pieCe
and then started it. 1t went off like
the gong at railway eating-house,
where a fellow stops twenty minutes to
get robbed. When was little boy
going to school, my teacher, tender
young soul of about forty-two summers
and twice as many winters, used to
write Time Flies in my copy-book.
but | never fully realized the scope and
intent of the remark, until that clock
resumed business at the old stand. |
realized in a moment that | had con-
quered the peryerse disposition of that
clock to play along the road. 1t SEEM
ed infused with renewed vigor and was
punctual to a fault.
The hour-hand got around the dial
once each hour. while the minute-hand
got around sixty times in the same pc
riod, and the bell sounded every sec
ond. On close inspection | discovered
that had accomplished what had nev-
er been done before. had turned time
backward, and longed to have the poet
who sang Backward, turn backward,
o time, in your flight present that l
might show him that his wish was
gratified. The hands were going the
wrong way, and my wife smiled
sweet. sad smile of hope. as she re-
marked that in a few days We would
be boy and girl in school again. l
was pleased for 4 moment at the
thought, but as a faint wonder what
would become of our five children in
such an event stole upon me, hope
gave place to q fear that it would leave
a blemish upon our young lives to re-
turn to the good old times, and JAM
med the screw-driver into the mas of |
rapid revolving wheels and put a stop
to their mad career. One of these |
times l am going to pull the nail out
and 90 back to the garden of Eden and |
see Eve feed Adam apples.-F. Z.
iR n. \. WercUry