The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-29
THE PETER FUNKS.
How the Voluble AuctiOneer and His Pal Work
Off Snide Watches on the UnSuspeCting

Five, five, do hear tn FIVE, an who'll go
better. Onct-twice-Ah, ten! Did you say
tent Ten, ten. ten, going, goin'. gone to the
gentleman here" These are samples of the
euphonious language that is waited outward in
a musical jangle to the hurried passer-by as he
walks up Illinois street from the Union Depot
The city man has long since become familiar
with these sounds and knows they are indigo
nous to Illinois street, but the average man has
never inquired as to what form of auction is
going on, or what sales are being transacted The
above language smote the ear Of journal
reporter yesterday, as he turned up Illinois
street, and turning just in time to see two
country cousins enter the auction room, strolled
back and into the room, where the oft remem-
bered sounds had emanated
Once within the door and respectfully in the
background, the reporter glanced around A
small crowd of countrymen were congregated
around showcase that ran lengthwise of the
room, and behind them, on an elevated PLATFORM
stood the auctioneer, who held silver watch in
his hand, expatiating to the gaping lockers on
its merits. By the stove sat two or three indi-
viduals who looked like traders, and who after
'II bid five7 or ''ten." On the shelves of the
auction room, where notthe dsrnantled treasures
of bankrupt bankers, or unforgotten Murrillos
covered with dust, but cheap articles from the
irritating fine comb to the baritone-voiced re-
volver, and the wares exhibited from horse
blankets to face POWDER includes everything in
the category.
The auctioneer continued with blatant voice:
"Here we are; a fine, silver-cased watch lever
movement sound in every particular, warranted
t'keep time on year. How much do l hear!
Worth $25 gentlemen; let them come lively"
Countryman with retreating chin approaches,
examines watch carefully and expectorates
slowly; wipes chin bids ill peculiar voice:
"a dollar and half" Auctioneer closes watch
Indignantly, glares at bidder, looks pityingly on
the crowd, and murmurs in a crushed voice:
Gentlemen do hear-do you heart One dol
lar and half"
''Two dollars" Auctioneer brightens. "More
bidders; I'm offered two dollars; going, going at
two dollars, who'll make it five?"
Party by stove approaches; looks at watch,
beckons companion; consultation. aside "Ill
do it," ALOUD. Five dollars. Five dollars Five,
five, FIVE; do [ hear the teng" Countryman ex-
pectorates, bids eight dollars, and the watch is
knocked down to him. Various other articles
are also sold Trade soon became slack, and,
one by one, the crowd dispersed The reporter
approached the showcase, and entered into con-
versation with the auctioneer. Your trade
seems to be with country folks, said the reporter.
Eyes" continued the auctioner 1--WE deal with
transients and country people coming into
town. Our safes uon . run IN large amounts, OuG
sometimes we doa right smart of bartering-but
trade is mighty dull"
''You don't do a pawn broking business, do
your
mo; sometimes people bring stuff for us to
SELL We sometimes can dispose of it to better
advantage than pawning it; besides, the interest
doesn't eat it up
"Do you give receipt for goods received in
this wayg"
s'Oh! no; we're too we'll known done business
hapa foo1 ann Lot -ar,fI ,or Ivan
Then, suppose you do pretty fair bust
aessa"
$50, SO. Come down sometime again"
A train had just disgorged its passengers and
the streets began to present metropolitan APP
pearance. The auctoneer took his stand, and
his melodious voice again smote the ears of the
travellers. One by one the little crowd increased,
and soon another watch was lifted out of the
case and put up for bids The reporter de-
parted as the voice echoed out, 'How much do
hear?n