Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-20
AN ESSAY ON ENTERTAINING.
Bill Nye Writes Learnedly on hil
Particular Fine Art.

Buiter is the mature fruit of the
lull-blOwn COW. II is the greatest
eilnrt Of her life. The COW tolls not,
neither does she spin, yet | say unto
You that Solomon in all his ghiry
could not heat her on handmade, or
rather milknaid butter. This subtle
Joke | have repaired and newly up
holsIered for use during The winter.
Butter comes from the COW in IL
liquid state. 1t is quite Il trick to
win her confidence 50 that she will
Weld it up to a total stranger. | once
sought 10 WOO The lacteal fluid from
the milk rrtort OF Il large speckled
cow TO whom | was a comparative
stranger. She wasn't one OF those
blo0ded cows that look as though
they have been cut out of a sheet of
paper with pair OF scissors. She
WAS low COW, with coarse instincts,
born in Ohscurity.
Her brow was low, but she wore
her tail high and she was naughty.
oh, SO naughty. The young man
who had hitherto acquired the milk
from this COW desired one evening to
l'io him away TO neighboring vii
lage, where lie might "trip the light
b0mhastic toe till the wee sma' hours
anent the twa.' Quotation from Il
poet who was a poor spcller) lie
wanted me to milk his large, spcckled
plebian COW, and said would.
The movement was certainly ill-ad-
vi>ed. | undertook TO do as had
agreed. but failed. From the mo-
mrnt | entered her stall and made a
common place remark TO her, | knew
our acquaintance would not lead TO
Il warm attachment. Somehow | felt
constrained and uneasy in her society
from the moment we met until loving
friends pulled me through the stable
window and brought me back to con-
seriousness. | shall meyer undertake
To milk a strange COW again until the
sign is right. SO far the sign has
not been right.
| might be sent on polar eXpedi-
tion and get stranded on an iceberg,
with no other alternative but to milk
a cow or eat an old friend, but |
should hate to tackle the COW unless
the friend was very old friend,
iutleed.
Butter is produced by expunging
the juice from rare and costly chem
ical known as cream. Cream is the
bead on the milk. Milk is known as
dry and extra dry. A good milkman
will always ask you whether YOU
want your milk wet or otherwise.
An old well digger named Grady
told me about going over in Southern
Indiana at one time to dig well for
"a man named Withum. Withum
was said to be very close. He was
the most contiguous man in Indiana.
His wife used to skim the milk on
one side and then turn it over and
skim the bubbles off. II was Il con-
slant struggle between Withum and
his wife TO see who would be the
meaner.
The first day that Grady was there
they had n round ball of butter about
as b'g as Il lemon aud as hard as
Pharaoh's heart. The butter-knile
had a handle that would turn every
time any one tried to get a lick at the
butter, and the little round ball would
flop over on the other side and smile.
Now and then hired man would
reach over with his own knife and
make slash at the butter, but the
butter, confident of its own strength,
would tip over with dull thud, and
the man would heave a sigh and give
it up. Then another farm hand
would make a wild dash at it, but
burst into tears and quit. Finally
Grady, who had watched this per-
formance several days, jabbed his
fork down through the middle of the
yellow chunk, and successfully cut it in
two. In the center was a small, seliti
wooden top. "'rhere," says Grady,
"Tve found out what the blamed
thing is wound on, anyhow"