The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1885-12-18

swears you can handle him. He hasn't
sworn since he's laid on this-no. been
on this lay; that's it. Then tell him
he's got to be a consistent mugwump,
and as you are an applicant for the
office of son-in-law, make him exam
inc you, give you a certificate, and
send you to me. That's the way the
commission does, and I'm the appoint
ing power in this business, commish
or no commish. Then for taffy, just
praise his horseback riding. Tell him
there isn't a mugwump in Boston that
has better mount than he. Now, if
I'm worth having I'm worth bam-
boozling pop out of his nonsense to
get"
'.But, Min, can't praise his mount.
Every body laughs at it. It's like"
ga pair of andirons describing a
circle. Yes, know; eut that kind of
taft always washes pop-no, that taft
will wash with him. There's the pro-
fessor looking for me. So long"
And, resuming her intellectual cast,
she returned to the parlor.
The next evening, dressed for the
first time in six months in the most
precise garb OF fashion, Paul Perkins
called on General Standsh.
'I'm here on business, old man, and
don'tyou forget it, said Paul Perkins
in most elegant though peremptory
manner.
General Standish looked inquiring-
ly upon him. '.Have you been dining
with the st. Tobolphiansp" he asked.
"No. Butt want to say you've
worked your little racket for year
and have at last won. You're in the
cult, and are boss mugwump. I
worked my racket and it's no go, SO
I'm going to try another. I'm a pro-
hibitionist, gone to join Faxon, and
1'll get an interview in the Advertiser,
telling how your mugwump business
drove me into it, and how you are
getting ready to take the mugs into
that party yourself if you don't give
me fair show"
perkins, you've been dallying with
the wine glass;
"Not bit of it. I'm myself again"
"Then. 1t, get out of my house!"
That's right. l knew old Adam
was i'll you. You've been playing the
cult, for all you are worth and have
won. You can afford, between US, to
let up a little. Now, examine me or
pll expose you. I'll give the whole
racket away. By. the shades of Eaton
himself, if you don't examine me for
the office OF son-in-law I'll expose all
your mugwump pretensions and give
the whole snap away"
''Sh-h-h! Not so loud, Mr.. Per-
kins."
Now, General" said the young
man, more gently, 81 want to say one
thing. Yesterday was seized with
fierce determination to win Minerva.
WhyP Well, L saw you out riding
on Hannibai-fne horse-what grace,
what dignity, what command and
said to myself, What philosopher can
ride like that? The daughter of such
a superb horseman must be the most
noble, splendid girl in Boston. I will
win her. want her, but want to be
able to say when any one sees You
riding by: Doesn't that man ride
superbly? He's my wife's father
That's the reason. Now 1 want to be
examined-''
General Standish smiled knowing
smile.
What are you worth?''
"Five thousand a year,
"a very satisfactory answer. Are
you going to be Prohibitionistp''
"Not if l get the office. If get the
Office I'm after. I'll be mugwump
enough to let parties GO to the devil"
Every satisfactory. What is the
aim of the higher culture?''
ITO put on lugs.''
''What necessity is there for the ex-
istence of the independents?''
Nothing succeeds like humbug."
'Does my daughter love youP"
''That's for her to say"
Here Gen. Standish took up his pen
and wrote Then he read what he
had written, as follows: 81 certify
that Paul Perkins. having been exam,
ined for the Office of son-in-law, has
been marked 100 in all departments.
He is, therefore, recommended for
to the appointing pow
err
Then, giving this certificate to the
young man, he added: Here, take
it, sir. You'll make go of it; if you
don't she will tor you. She has
served me well. Here, let me send
for a bottle. that l may drink your
health. You've done me good ! i
may want you by and by to help me
set the whole lot of mugs and other
frauds by the ears. But, Paul, don't
give me away. Be circumspect.