Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-08-22
SATURDAY, AUG. o. 1885, NO 49,.

of them soon after snored, on which
he broke off his sermon and excIaim.
ed, Lord LanderdaIe, ] am sorry to
interrupt your re2ose, but let me en-
treat yoa not to snore so loud, lest
you awaken his majesty 1t was
no easy thing in early times to keep
congregations awake, and that 9th.
|ers beside the preachers themselves
made efforts praisworthy enough in
this direction is evidenced by the
fact that on the 18th Of April, 1925,
John Ridge beqneathed to the parish
of Tyrsull, in Shropshire, twenty
Eshillings year that a poor man
might be employed to go about dur
ing sermon and keep the people
awake. A bequest BY Richard Do
yey, of Farmcote, dated 1859, had
in view the pay ment Of eight shill.
ings annually to poor maa for the
performance Of the same duty in
Cloverly church, Shropshire.
At Action church, in Dhesaire,
about fifty years ago, one of the
church waTdeDs or apparitor used
to 60 around the church during the
service with a long wand in his
hand, and if any Of the congrega-
ton were asleep they were instantly
awakened by tap on the head.
At Dnnchurch, in Warvickshire,a
similar custom existed. A person
bearing a stout wand, like a hay
fork at the end, stepped steathily up
and down the nave and aisles, and
whenever he saw an individual
asleep he touched him SO effectually
that the spell was broken; this be-
ing sometimes done by fitting the
prongs Of the fork to the nape of the
neck.
A more playful method of arous-
ing sleeping sinners from the arms
of Morpheus was used in another
church, where the beadle went round
the edifice carrying a long staff at
one end of which was knob, at the
other a fox's tail. The latter was
used to tickle the faces OF the lady
sleepers, the former to thump the
heads Of the somnolent men.
The day for personalities in the
pulpit has long ago gone by. Some
years since tho Rev. DIR. Bendon
was rector of the parish church in
Ethan, Kent. One day he took for
his text, sWho Art Thou ~ After
having read this lie paused, as was
his custom, to give the audience
time to think upon his words. just
then military officer entered, and
walking down the aisle, supposed
the question was addressed to him.
II am, sir. Sergeant McDuffe, Of the
10th Regiment of Foot, and recruit
ing officer here" replied the man,
giving the salute. The congregation,
of course, roared, and the clergyman
had trouble in collecting his
thoughts.
A Scotch preacher saw his wife
asleep in the kirk and he immediate.
ly stopped in the midst of his SER
mon and shouted: "Susan, Susan
| did ma marry We fer yer wealth,
since ye had none; and l did ma
marry ye for yer beauty-that all
the congregation can see; and if
yer haze not. grace I haze made sere
bargain VII yer" She slept no
more.
Not few Of the vagaries of the
pulpit have been directed against
sleeping sinners. Robert Halls
audience were composed of those
asleep and those going to sleep de-
spite the fact that his sermons were
the most brilliant of the age. Sid
ney Smith said that some sermons
are written as if sin were to be TAX
en- out of man, like Eve out of Adam,
by putting him to sleep. Doctor
Barrow once preached so long and
so dull a sermon that everybody
left the church but the sexton, and
himself. Finally the sexton, seeing
no prospect of the long-winded di-
vine coming to a conclusion, cried
out: "Sir, here ara the keys; please
to lock up the church when you are
through with the sermon" There
have been many odd ways devised
by dull preachers to overcome the
desire on the part of their congrega-
ton to slumber. A New York min.
lster, who was holding forth in
style that ought to have kept them
awake, being unsuccessful, he sud-
denly stopped and said: "Brethren,
1 have preached about half of my
sermon, and / perceive that twenty
five or thirty of my congregation
are fast asleep. / shall postpone the
delivery of the rest OF my sermon
until they wake upm For five min
utes there was dead pause, a sup
pressed litter, a good deal Of look.
ing around, signs Of rustling uneasi-