The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-12-17
WIT AND HUMOR.
THE STORY OF THE RAIN.

If you frd the lady his strong arm gripping,
And is walking very closely by his side,
While the water is upon his shoulder dripping,
You may know she is maiden or bride.
If the drippings fall, however. on her bonnet,
And he walks about foot or SO ahead
Then she's nothing but tyife, depend upon it.
And they've been for h. If a score of winters
wed = olumbus Dispatch.
Away on the range there is little change;
He blinks in the sun, he herds the steers;
But trail on the wind creeps close behind
And whispers that stagger and banch the mind
Through the hum of the solemn noon he hears
With his dark sombrero,
His stained chappararas,
His clinking spurs:
He sides down
Where the grasses brown
May hide his face, while he sohs-who cares!
At the gate-She frigidly):
Allow you to kiss me goodnight ere you go9
could Let permit such freedom, o, no.
He respectfully:
Excuse me- OF course you know best what is
right.
But meant no offense, assure you. Good
She (disappointedly):
The fool He must certainly have thick
head
To think for moment meant what said.
Boston Courier.
90, where are the girls of the pastp"
asks poet. If you mean the far away,
dim, and distant past, some of them are
still in the ballet corps.
Tell me, Thomas, how many VOYAGES
around the world did Capt Cook makeP"
''Three-" Correct And on which of
these voyages was he killed?''-fucb
The man who mortgages his property,
while the money lasts lives on the fat of
the land; while the man who loans the
cash has to be content with the lien
Los0eU Citizen.
French joke: In a boulevard restau-
rant-''Waiter! Bring me some mis-
takes in photography" puzzled waiter)
but, sir. we've haven't any"
'Why then do you put them in your bill
of-fare?'-Gil Bias.
Dumley Ito landlady) -"Do you know,
Mrs. Hendricks, why your table reminds
me of Mrs. Micawber's undying devotion
to her husband?" Mrs. Hendricks
ttNo, Mr.. Dumley Why?n Dumley-
Because you will never desert u.s.
N. Y Times.
Mamma" said little Edith, ''what do
you suppose it was heard crying out in
the grass just now? Do you think it was
the flowers just cut the heads off OPP
Perhaps it was, darling" mo, it
"ooL y II was lulu
-Harper's Bazar.
"What is usually the nationality of
bootblack, my dear?' asked Mrs. eau
ton while her husband was studying the
score of an Allegheny game. 20, it
VARIES" replied Caution; sometimes
they are Polish and sometimes Chinese"
-Pdtsburg Chronicle.
A California blacksmith is dangerously
i'll with CHAMBERS, contracted while shoe
ing horse. And a Pennsylvania woman
is suffering from sprained ankle. con-
tracted while "shooing" hen. There
seems to be fatality about this shoeing
business. Herald.
81 don't care if our dog did whip
yoursr' said an angry little girl to a
playmate. Your dog is a sneaking
little thing, anyhow
Il don't care sobbed the owner of
the -sneaking dog. 81 guess your dog
shocked first. y YOUTHS Companion.
One mother in Wilkesbarre, who dis
covered that her daughter was being
taught physiology and hygiene. day be-
fore Yesterday addressed the following
note to her teacher:
Dear Miss -: / don't want my daughter
to be taught about her insides. 1t isn't right,
and don't like it.
Yours truly, Mrs. -.
Scranton Republican,.
Il was afraid that the new rule that
baseball players should not receive more
than $4,000 salary would have depres-
sing effect" remarked McSwilligen.
what effect have you noticed?" asked
Podsnap. why, the President of Yale
College has resigned - Pdtsburg
ChroHtcle.
Some of our creditors intimated to us
this week that the printing business must
be good. We wish to say that if they
have discovered any signs of prosperity
it was not brought about in any legiti-
mate business. -Four aces and a ten-spot
furnished the money to produce the inn
provement.-Nerced (CaS.) E1presS.
Wife Ito husband eating SHADY
should think you would be ashamed OF
yourself to get profane over few bones.
And in the presence of the children, too"
Husband (savagely)-'A few bones!
Blank it all, there's millions of EN-"
Wife (consolingly-''Well, what ii
there are? They are very small ones
N. Y. Times.
''Well, Bobby" said young Featherly,
1--WE had quite pleasant time at the
house last evening"" Yes, indeed"
Bobby; MA was speaking about it at
the breakfast-table this morning" so
your ma enjoyed the evening, too, did
she?" yep She told pa that she
could never think of you without laugh
ing."-N. 7. Times.
Il see woman has started out with
stick to walk all the way to California.
That's something new, isn't itp''
mo, that happens all the time
81 never heard of another case"
'What! Did you never hear of an
actress travelling over the country with
a half dozen sticks. And some of them
make money at it, too. San francisco
Gail.
care you on any particular lay?" he
asked of stranger, while waiting at the
Union depot at Buffalo. 80, yesr' was
the reply. Il thought so, from your
looks. l work the three-card monte
racket on greenhorns. What do YOU
doP" Il work the detective racket on
three-card monte sharpsr was the prompt
response, as the handouts were snapped
on.-N. Y. Star.
A Turkish Joke: One day a man
came to Khodshad and said: Il need
donkey to-day; won't you lend me
yours?' Il no longer own donkey"
was the answer. At the same moment
the donkey began to bray in the stable
40" exclaimed the man, ''do l not hear
the donkey braying?' ''What?" retorted
khodshad, angrily, ''would you sooner
believe donkey than me?'
A curious story is told by Washing