Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-05-08
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

a pair OF panCS-IWO urea dOSs.
A dentist is no chicken. He is always
pull-it.
Man is like potato--never sure when
he will get 'into hot water"
When the ironclad was invented ther
came the tug of war.-Picaymne.
Many a dandy before marriage be.
comes sub-dude after it.-BOSton Beu{get.
Great feat on the rollers-Those that
require No. - skates. st Paul Herald.
Can the tailor's nag be properly called
a clothes horse. e.-ROSton Commercial BuI.
letin.
Miss fortunes come to some men when
they get married, and they don't mind it
q bit.-1e1as Sytings.
ga soft answer turneth away wrath"
bat stout kick frequently annihilatc'
lt.-PittsJurg Chronicle.
Aeronauts are often very much taken
up with their profession, like tramps and
housebreakers. Boston Times.
A new magazine is called the Woman1
Age. This is unfortunate. 1t will never
become generally known.-No,o Yorb
Journal.
"Only match box" remarked Fogg
at the theatre the other night, referring
to the seats where the young lovers sat-
Boston Transcript.
A poet says: ''Tis more brave tc
live than to die" That's the reason
poets send their etfusions by mail to the
editor.-NeU York Journal.
"a good name is better than tons OF
gold," says Cervantes. We don't know
about that. We have never had more
than one ton of gold at time. Graphic.
"Were you at the ball last nightp
asked Jones of his friend Brown. "You
bet l was at the bawl," replied Brown,
"and l stayed all night. Baby had the
collie. "-7ecos SytjngsA
When the man told his landlady she
fed him wooden biscuits, she didn't get
was so cheap that-the story is too sad
to conclude. Merchant Traceler.
A farming exchange says "a fai2
average profit for hen seems to range
from $1.50 to 50 year." If a hen can
make profit of $3.50 to So a year she
ought to be able TO lay up something.-
BRAKES Magazine.
Japanese dentists use only the thumb
and forefnger in pulling teeth, and it
they drag their victims around the room
half an hour before the molar comes out
they don't charge anything extra
NOrristoen Herald.
GOOD REASON.
Why does she hold her head SO high
And look so supercilious,
And pass the other maidens by
AS if they made her biiiouss
Well may she proudly walk the street,
The while her pride increases
Her crazy quilt is just complete,
Made of ten thousand pieces.
Boston Courier.
we had quite a discussion at the club
last evening"" said Henderson; ~ made
the closing speech, and 1 think Imade
myself clear" "Ah" returned Fogg,
"then l have been misinformed. l was
told you made the others clear. ."-BoSton
Transcript.
GLOW did you feel9" man was
asked, after telling how he was caught
by the cowcatcher of q locomotive and
thrown over the smoke stack into the
tender. "Well, didn't like it, although
must say was very much taken up
with it at first" he replied-NeW Yor1
Journal.
When the philosophic gentleman
Attends the roller rink
And pensively sits down, my son,
Does he sit down to thinkl
-Hatchet.
She was a miss of summers ten
And did not care snap for men,
But only loved her poodle.
And when she got into her teens
She did not care for men of means,
But loved a sickly noodle.
She's thirty now and has more sense,
And knows what money is, and hence
Her love must have the "boodle."
-EUdnSviHe Argus