The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-02-19
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
nniuo expenses-Children.

Running Xpenses-Chlldren.
A club house-The police station.
A conscientious milkman never wears
pumps.
An important suit-A mans wedding
garments.
A boil IN the pot is worth two on the
neck.-SJitings.
When the contractor IS fat the mechan-
ic's ien.-Broohlyn Times.
" Sure to make his mark"-The man
who can't write.-B Brooklyn Times.
The married woman's sphere--A ball
of darning cotton.--Neao York Journal.
Beau" Why do you prefer wood
fre2" Belle-''Cause it P'-Judge.
Some men will never learn anything.
A tramp tried to rob an editor the other
day.
An exchange asks: els drowning an
| easy death?' We don't know. Never
been drowned. - Graphic.
Cranberries are good for dyspepsia,
providing too much turkey is not taken
! with them Chicago Herald.
can Ohio girl eloped with China
man old enough to be her father" The
rage for cold china" doesn't seem to
abate. .-Norristoaon Herald.
The 5ront gate now is lonesome,
No more it bends beneath
The weight of young Augustus,
Whose arms Georgy Ann enwreath:
st. Paul Herald
1t is said that violin played among
flock of geese will start them to dane
ing. Everyone who has attended
dance is aware of this fact.-Neeonan m
dependent.
"There are good and bad points about
this coffee, - said the boarder, in judi
cial tone. s'Tne good is that there is no
chickory in 1t; the bad, that there is no
coffee in itn'
The inventor OF the hand organ died
one hundred and eight years ago. Mark
Antony was right when he declared
that ''the evil men do lives after them"
-LoaceW Citizen.
In Canada-"W wife, suppose we
ought to call on the Mandelbaums, hadn't
we2' ''1 es, dear, I suppose so, but they
are horribly common people; just think,
they only stole $36, 900.
It is noticeable that when persons
make their first attempt at skating in the
rink, they express satisfaction with the
skates furnished, but soon get "down
on the floor -MorristoUn 'HefuM.
"Well, John, how is business with
vou?' "Bad, very bad" "You haven't
been able to make anything, then2"
.Oh. YES, | have" What?" can as
sirpment." "Ohr'-Boston Post.
We are in danger of having too much
culture in this country. An aesthetic
buff -co!ored pug recently went mad in
Boston because his mistress dressed him
in light green blanket Graphic.
'.Do they ever bark2" asked old Mrs.
Simpkins, gazing at a pair OF stuffed sea-
dogs in the museum. mo, mum, said
Elnathan; 'tleastwise not now, mum;
their bark is on the sea, you know"
THE THERMOMETERS ANNOUNCEMENTS.
In sympathy with the business small,
And with the seasons rIgors,
My weather have marked for al,
Down to the lowest figures.
Courier-Journal
A Western man recently died while
playing the fife. AS no bullet hole was
found in the window. tits supposed that
the assassin crawled up the furnace fiue
and hit him with a club. b.-Burlington
Faee Press.
A Chicago man who called upon mu-
sical friend the other evening at supper
time was warmly welcomed, as they had
party, and they were just going to have
a sonata. He said he thought he smelled
it as he came over.
"Curious how long the old man lasts!"
says somebody, refectively; especially
when you consider that for the last ten
wears he has had one foot in the grave"
s'Yes; but then, you see, every now and
then he changes the foot!''
An Australian naturalist is reported to
have discovered that sponges are en-
dowed with a nervous system. All the
"sponges known to us socially certain
ly display great deal OF nerve. In
Only whisper scandal and its echo is
heard nv all