davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-02-26
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Many writers of original poetry APP
pear to have been left over from last
year. Perhaps 1885 will be more sickly.
Detroit Post.
Mrs: Newgood Tin the picture gal
lery): .srhis, Aunt Eunice, is real
old master" Aunt Eunicc: .'Well. ]
shouldn't care if it was; it's just as good
as some of the new ones.
Eight days, it is said. are required
to cut diamond, but after young
lady gets the diamond it does not take
her more than three days to cut all her
poor acquaintance boston Gto6e.
In advertising the greatness of this
country, one of the largest manufact-
urers SAYS the total production of c'gslr;
in the United Sta es is about 3.000,D0J.
900 year. This is quite a puff for u'-
Troy Times.
Science:
A t;irl who could spell Deuteronomy
And had stndied domestic economy.
Went to skate at rink,
And as quick as wink
She sat down to study astronomy.
Boston SanddH Courier.
The most fashionable bridal neck
lace Just now is a string of pearls. How
thankful we bachelors ought to be that
leap year is past, and that We are sac
for three years. By that time the style
may change to something that VIII ut
our salaries better.-LOaceN Citizc,,.
IA man never knows" saws Bos-
ton writer, when an idea is going to
strike him. Of its arrival he has no in
tellectrlal premonition. That's fact,
and the majority of men never know
that an idea has struck them. Prob
ably it is because they are SO unaccuS-
toned to the habits of an idea that they
don't know when it has arrived
| ArkaiasaW Traueler.
1t would take wise man to pene-
trate the subtle and intricate processes
of young woman's reasoning. Il
don't like Mr.. l. we heard one say
to another not long ago. ..WhyP" asked
her listener. 20, to begin with, he wears
lavender gloves" was the response, and
to both these petticoated critics the
matter seemed sufficiently discussed and
satisfactorily settled.-N y. Graphic.
a. gentleman who was going to take
his family to see dramatic performances
the other day was surprised to see his
wife packing a large trunk and filling
two harge baskets with eatab!es just
befor., starting. ..What are you doing
that for?'' inquired the husband.
s.Why,n returned the wife, ''it says on
the bill that six weeks elapse between
the first and second acts. Chicago
| Tribune.
-Friend-..I should think you would
know the price of all your drugs by this
time Druggist-.'Why, l do, of
course" Then how does it happen
that after you filled that prescription for
that gentleman you spent such time
looking over that book before you could
tell him the pricep You were trying to
find out the cost of the drugs. weren' t
you?' 20, no. | was looking over
commercial directory to find out how
much he could afford to "-Rita-
5eZs)Hid CALL
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-02-26

We notice that the new code ply
sicians won victory at the Academy
of Medicine in New York Thursday
night by electing a full ticket. We
don know the code, but presume it is to
put DIR" after the patients name and
collect of the administrator.-LoiO
C0nrier
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-02-26
Death of Mrs. Lowell,
Yale Divinity School Given sI5o. 600.

LONDON. February 19.-Mrs. James Rus-
sell Lowell died at O'Clock this afternoon.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-02-26

There are about as many ways Of
pronouncing depot as there are eccen-
trio ways of pronouncing ''crematory,"
finance" etc. As road out of the
difficulty we give the following sugges-
ton:
1t is but a step-oh
Down to the dep-oh.
The way is quite steep-oh
That leads to the deep-oh.
j slipped on grape-Oh
Just by the day-poh
In u store near the dee-pot
/ bought this small teapot.
Perhaps, to end the agitation,
We'd better heneeforth call it station.
Lancaster Examiner.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-02-26
Jhe @aton 9enlpfrat.
OF ADVERTISING.
Busine s. cards Of ave lines or less s. per annum

Busines cards OF hve nnes or less $3 per annum.
Local notices, 10 cents pet line each insertion.
Simple announcements OF marrfa-es and deaths,
snd church aud benevolent society notices inserted
free. Any additions to obituary notices win b
charged iye cents per line.
Favors must be handed in as early as Tueeday
morning to insure insertion the same week Com
municatons upon subjects e general % kosa
hatersst lxe solicited.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-02-26

When a Greek Immigrant was
searched in New York recently, he was
found to be armed with a weapon
which looked like large ivory-handled
jacknife. When examined pistol
hammer was discovered on one side.
This, when pulled up, threw out a trig-
ger on the other side. AS soon as the
pistol was discharged four-inch blade
ran out ready for use.--M Y. Tribune.
While praying during recent
storm, says the Natchez (Miss.) Daily
Democrat, ''old Katie Hightower, who
has been blind for fifteen wears, had
her sight suddenly restored, and can
now see as well as when q child"
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-02-26
STATE NEWS ITEMS.
Legislative Proceedings.

COLUMBUS, February l3.-The Legislature
has taken its tri-weekly holiday. Both
branches met at 8 A. NJ, and adjourned al
most Immediately Until Tuesday afternoon.
surance companies to file with the State
Commissioner more complete statistical re-
ports. Speaker Marsh has gone to New Or
leans.
COLUMBUS, February 1.-TWO liquor amend
ments have been presented in the House, one
to give the Legislature power to regulate,
restrain or prohibit the traffic, the other to
give, it power to enforce a local-optioh law:
bill was introduced increasing the taxes in
Cincinnati from sixteen mills TO twenty mills,
passed over the veto Of the Tax Commission
by two-thiTds vote of Council. A protest
against the piece price" plan of paying for
convict labor was received from the Cleve-
land Trades Assembly. A bill to oust the
Republican Solicitor of Cincinnati is pro-
posed and drafted.
COLUMBUS. February 1s.-The bill to submit
q local option amendment was defeated, as
also the bill to submit an amendment giving
or prohibit the traffic The bill to submit d
straight-out license amendn. ent was also de-
feated. Motions to reconsider then prevail
ed. Byal, the prohibition membcr, voted
against the reconsideration of the prohibi:
tion amendment bill. The Senate received d
petition for the passage of a law requiring
that physiology and hygiene be so taught in
the public schools as to show the effects of
alcOnOl ana narcotlcs on tne human system
A bill was presented to prohibit the sale of
oleomargerine.
Colt aDUs, February 19.-The bill to reor-
ganize the city of Columbus was debated in
the House. The bill to abolish separate
schools for colored children was debated in
the Senate, and then indefinitely postponed.
COLUMBUS, February 2O.-The Kohler Pipe
Line bill was defeated in the Senate. The bill
to incorporate Collateral Loan Associations
was lost but the vote reconsidered. The bill
providing for the sale of lots by the Cincin-
natl Commercial Hospital and the erection
of q pest-house was reported favorably by
the committee. Bill authorizing Trunk-sewer
in Cincinnati passed; also, one authorizing
the city of Cleveland to borrow 100000 to
make up the Scott law deficit.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06

in view of the commotion which the
publicity Of DR.. Henion's article has
caused and to meet the protestations
which have been made. The doctor
was cured four years ago and is ueA and
attending to his professional duties to-
day. The standing Of Dr. Henion, Mr..
Warner and::Dr. baltimore in the com
munity is beyond question and the
statements they make cannot for Il
moment he doubted. DIR. Henion's ex
pcrience shows that Bright's disease Of
the kidneys is one of the most decep
tive and dangerous Of all diseases that
it is exceedingly common and that it
can Lee cured.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06

He walked into the Office as County
Clerk Powers was about to close M,
and inquired "if that was the place a
man got his paypurs."
Yes, sir. this is the place where we
can make a Yankee of you, if that is
what you want" replied the officer.
well. just be afther filing out nine,
sor. for am about to wash me hands of
the Duane" The clerk did As re-
qucstcd. and after going through the
proper form. was asked by the newly
made citizen: How mooch do We
want for that job:" Two dollars"
answered Mike, handing him the docu-
mcnt. You are q. X. now," replied
the recorder of births and deaths, land
can get trusted for any amount you
want in these Unit ID States" well,
thin. sor, l will commence right here,
You trust me for thin paypurs," and as
hc spoke he slid out of the door. Nike
has not been seen TO sn l. SINCE
Onk0,Ia9o,s Herald.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06
FROM DEATH's DOOR

Many who were thought by physicians
and friends to be at deaths door have
been restored to their families and To com
parative good health by the new Vitalik
ing Treatment Of Drs. Starkey & Palcn,
lire Girard street, Philadelphia. The
cures in Consumption, Cstarrh, Neuralgia
Bronchitis and various Chronic diseases
are indeed wonderful. and sre attracting
wide attention. Nothing like II is known
in medical history. IL you have an inter
eat in learning all about this new Treat
ment, write to them, and phamphlcts and
reports of cases will he promptly mailed.
All orders for the Compound Oxygen
Home Treatment directed to II. X. Ma.
thews, Cos Montgomery street, Sab Fran
cisco, will be filled on the same terms ~ q.
sent directly to us In Philadelphia.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06
SOUND WORDS.
Some Sensible Advice by . Religious Ex.
change.

Some Sensible Advice by Religious Ex-
change.
Tho Scripture exhOrts us to "hold
fast" the form Of 'sound words," which,
l suppose, means that we should call
things by their right names. The rose
by any other name would smell ~
sweet. but rascality sometimes adorns
itself with names that makes it smell
far sweeter than when bearing its own
proper designations.
Especially is this true when men
undertake to describe the swindles and
villainies which are too common in the
higher circles of the commercial world.
Speaking of certain transactions of this
description, the Hartford Courant SAYS:
Decentralization and rchypotheca-
ton, are pretty long words. One means
lytng, and the other means stealing.
When VIC are tod that the reccn.
troubles in business in New York are
attributable to these long-sounding
eau :es, We are really told iyinq and
stealing are at the bottom of the diff
Guilty.
This Is refreshing. :'Over-certifica-
ton" is when bank official SAYS that
some one has certain amount of
money in the bank. which he does not
have though he may promise that he
sCtu have ut some other time. "Rehy-
pothecatiOn" is the taking of stocks,
bonds, notes, ETC., which are already
pledged as security for loans, and
pledging or pawning them again to
raise more money. And under the
shadow of these two big words, too big
to be found in most d ctionaries, it is
difficult to see just where the wrong in
the case is. But when we translate the
thing into English, and find that one
word means lying, and the other steal
ing. we know just to think about it.
There are many other words which
are high sounding. There are dis
crepancics," and "deficits." and dc
faults" and 'defalcations;" there are
irregularities" and "m:sappropria-
tions," and "breaches of trust" and
acknowledgements" and numerous other
operations, by which gen: eel rascals get
away with the money which belongs to
honest and unsuspecting people, the
true character of which may be ex-
pressed by the simple words lying and
stealing! These words bring the whole
matter within the range of the ten COM
mandments. There is no Scripture
which says: "Thou shalt not default,
thou shalt not rehypothecate, thou
shalt not over-ccrtlficate," but there is
passage which says: Thou shalt not
steal" and there is a passage which
tells us that all liars shall have their
part in the lake which burnett with fire
and birthstone. If we can get rid of
some of these big words. and come
down to language which the common
people can understand, We shall per
haps be able t. warn men against the
dangers OF stealing. and tell men who
lie that they are on the straight road to
hell. This is very unpopular word,
and very obsolete doctrine, but there
are some things which go to show that
it is true. One of them is this: that the
devil is very sure to get a grip on these
genteel swindlers and their ill-gotten
gains in this world, and nothing affords
much foundation for the idea that he
will let 60 of them in the next-Bos.
ton Safeguard.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06
TOr0iQn
Foreign.
WOlseley wants 1900 reinforc,


WOlseley wants 1900 reinforcements.
English Free Masons gave $26O,OO in
charity last year.
The powers signed the Egyptian finance
agreement Saturday.
Patenotre, French Minister to China,
has struck his colors.
There are $40 churches in London within
a radius OF twelve miles.
The Sultan of Morocco has Just cele.
brated his l,OOOth wedding.
Ell Mahdi and 75,O0O rebels surround
Colonel Buffers force at Gabut.
The estimated cost of the propos ed
trunk sewer in Toronto is Sl,lOO.0OO. :.
The agitation against an increase of the
duties on cereals in Germany is becoming
formidable.
Palatial restaurants are too numerous in
London, and as a consequence, some are
coming to grief.
w. w. Astor, United States Minister to
Italy, has presented King Humbert his
letters of recall.
eShanghai property has deprecated with.
in the past year $l2, OO0, 900, owing to the
Franco Chinese war.
A committee of the French Chamber OF
Deputies rejected last week the govern.
ment's proposal to raise the duty on corn.
Russia, with a population Of over 100.
OOO, 90, has 81 bishops, l00,05S clergymep,
1900 monks and nuns. and Al 600 churches.
Divorces are becoming fashionable in
Scotland. Last year eighty mine petitions
were granted, being the largest number
on record.
The First Battalion Royal Irish Regi.
ment gained Wolseleys prize Of 4lOO for
making the quickest passage from Sarras
to Debbeh.
A laborer named Marcel of Astoria. l..
l., claims to be the heir to the Dorian es.
tate at Montreal, the property being
worth millions.
Owing to colonial annexations during
the past year, Germans, like Britons. are
now able to say that the sun never sets
in the German empire.
The Social Democrats in the German
Reichstag have proposed bill fixing the
time of legal working day at ten hours,
with absolute prohibition of nightwork
unless the employer obtains apecial per-
mission.
Queen Victoria is in great spirits and il
immersed..in preparing the programme for
her youngest daughters wedding, and she
enjoys wedding more than anything else
In the world. The Princess Beatrice is to
get the largest share Of her mothers pri.
vate property.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06
Adysftt.ips tyb.~ts

u, has heoo'ne 81 common To t.sin a
article, IN an elegant, interesting s,yl..
Thea run n into some adverti.smsss
ths, We avoid all such.
"Ahd siDply call attention to the ms,ss.
~ Hop Hitter Ia as plain. hons., ts,w.
.. poaslbls.
ITO Induce psopl.
To give them oRs trial. which 40 p,ov..
their value that they will never use snv.
thug else
rns hssspS - tavoFsbl, so,ioea In sIl m.
Rslls.oa. .aa .-ralss :.
tsslns large a.ie, ."d ls sapraantlas en-
Thew !. ?" asnyIps the ,irue. " ,as Ma,
shera great .h1, ~dss-- aud shlii,J T's
W es,nI.,ansi'ns q s'.di'sse whose virtues
err 81 i'ailshlr ,s ever, ones o..-erv.iioa.
"Noi
"she lingsr.d and suffered along. pl.iu~
away AL the time Tor years"
The doc,o's dains her no good"
And 81 last was cured by this Hon mn.
tiers the papers say @o much sirput
"Indesd' Indeed
low thantful ~e should h. sor ,hs,
medicine"
A Daughters Misery.
Eleven years our daughter suffered nm
. bod ~ misery,
Prom = complication ~ kidney, liver.
rheumatic troeble aud Nervous delli,tv'
tnd.r the care ~ the beet PITY -icIspa'
who gave her di-eas. various namsS'
Hut no Felief
And now she 4. restored 90 ~ In gooA
health by - simple q remedy ~ Hop ntt.
tiers, that We had Stunned Tor years i@tosv
asins it."-las pARssrz.
Father IL Getting Well.
My daughters say;
"liow much better father In since he
used Hop iiitters."
" IL getting we'll after his long suffer.
ing from q disease declared inrural,le,
And We arr so glad that he used your
iiltters. A LADY ~ Utica. N. Y.
80 None genuine without Q buneh NJ wve~s
ttop~ on the white latest shun eli the yiie ma
soeoas ssan With Hep" or "Hoys" In tkslr
name.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06
COLUMBIA RIVER CANRERY

Mr.. George Home, one of the largest
Gamers of fish, on Columbia river, Oregon,
says that he suffered with rheumatism for
seven years, having spent six months at
Arkansas Hot Springs, and at Paso Robles
Springs, Cal, four months in every year,
without benefit. Finally he tried st. ia.
cObs Oil, the great pain.cure, and In q
short time all stiffness and soreness OF the
joints disappeared.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06
The sAwousr lNCENp,Asv.


Tho Mischief Dane aud Zoe. Csusea ~
The Improper Tee of saw Iass.
The -awduSt sIIitiopn should not he
tolerated n day ~ any building whose
owner Is drs r,ou~ II avoiding los. by
tire. To this apparently harmless and
clcanly article arr traced many frs.
and II j. undoubtedly the cause II these
mysterious CONGREGATIONS which arr so
constantly happening Not long sgo
the treasurer ~ one ~ the livslon in.
surancc companies was In New Hart
ford. N. Y. and while there he wa. In.
vitcd Ia inspect The cotton-mlii In the
town with Wow Ia making any sug.
gestions. ~ the mill was considered
quite q model In i,s ilr, protection APP
planes Aud 81 the Insurance official
found u. save In one particular In the
weave-room. under a pair ~ match
gears. was box 81 sawdus placed
there to catch the oil. It's only q mat
ter 81 time. said he. when that hon
will be- the cause ~ burning your mill.
A piece 81 rag will fall Into the
saturated sawdust aud spontaneous
combustion will readily cnsur, or
q partially burned match will s~t
Ah' NHNtu~i rhpif'fluE nv tnis the
mill owner said he knew now what
caused the fire In the office some month.
previously, lie arrived ~ the office on,
morning to find that the floor had burned
through where sawdust cu-pi,ior was
placed, and n good iirr was bcing
worked upib the basement. t'bdouh,e,i-
ly haf.lighted cigar ar match had
caused the fire after smulIering Tor
hours a similar narrow rscapc or-
CURED In Boston only few weeks ago.
When the office boy came ruund IN tks.
morning Ia open the hu lding u was
found that the sawdusi IL ttnon. which
stood under the gas.ici IN most con.
venicnt place Ia throw hurrr matches.
had burned through the il"or during ~.
night aud was IN lire IN the ba-ement.
III" building was nn- ~ the largest stur.
age warehouses IN Boston. AID contained
merchandise at that time valued NJ 600,
600. narrow escape fur ~" iusnr
ancc companies RAILROAD staiions
frequently Use this neat hni inrrn,iisry
sppl ancc. nnd the, arr to be found
everywhere Underwater shuuli se.
To Il that ihoy hc absolutely prob bite,l
The danger lies ~ the -AW,lusi sand
IN just ~ cheap. answers ever, purpose
and IL safe Ia Use. boston ComH,s real
Buiiefia.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06

Many q ease supposed 10 be radical lung
disease Is really one Of liver complaint and
indigestion. but unless that diseased liver
can be restored to healthy action, IL will vi
clog the lungs with corrupting matter ~
to bring on their speedy decay, and then.
indeed, We have consumption, which In
scrofnla of the lungs, In it's worst form.
Nothing can be more happily calculated to
nip this danger in the bud than DIR. Pierce =
Golden Medical Discovery" by drug.
0iyts.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06

The cotton crop report for West
Tennessee. North Arkansas. North
Mississippi and North Alabama. shows
decrease of fourteen per cent. com
pared with last year. attributable a.
unfavOrable weather. drought and
early frosts. Report, from other SEE
tons of the South show heavy d.
crease in the yield, owing to frost, l,
is estimated the entire cotton WELD
will amount to 1888. 900 bales. Chica-
90 journal.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06

"A saddIcr at GrrcnNburg. Pa, has
curious egg. 1t i SOft-shcllcd and
does not resemble an egg. with thu tx
ception of its she'll 1t is formed Of
three parts. One resembles very much
the shape of head, and eyes and mouth
are perceptible in it. A little short neck
Joins it to the body. which is Of an oval
shape. To the body there is IA tai. re-
sembling very much the Ia | Of dog
1t measures over five inches aud j. n
very queer shape indeed. itttsbUrgh
poaf
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06

A bottle of gunpowder exploded Satur.
day night near the entrance Of the Par.
lament house, Rome, which is used BY
| the members. No harm WAS caused by
the explOtion. and no clue to the mis-
creaRts.
Therese Nerangier, cousin of Clovis
Hughes. whose wife recently shot NORM.
attempted to murder her paramour Sou.
chOn on February 18th. Therese wanted
Souchon to marry her and he refused.
Henry NJ. Stanley had a long interview
with King Leopold of Belgium Saturday
and Immediately departed for London to
arrange for work in the Congo country.
A large number of Russian exiles at
Ireutsk. Siberia, revolted, but were sub.
dued after desperate conflict with the
authorities.
The Pennsylvania State Senate has for.
warded resolution to Congress urging
prompt attention on the bill retiring Gen.
eral Grant.
There is the sundry civil bill an appro.
priation Of 30O,NO to pay the creditors OF
the New Orleans Exposition.
Isaac Maynard, president of the Bling.
hampton Railroad and City National
@ank, Utica, N. Y, is dead.
Osman Digma is gathering around him
a large force of well-armed men and 10
concentrating at Tamais.
The assessment against all elevated
railroads in New York aggregates ST.
81, 1854.
Knitting girls in Wells hosiery factory,
st. Louis, have struck against q reduction
of wages.
Bray Bros, grain commission merchants
of San Francisco, have failed.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06

-Use provincial singer SAID to an
other: MY daughter has inherited nv
voice" Oh" said the other, with the
most innocent AIR. THAT is the explana-
ton then. have always wondered
where it was. Figaro.