The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-11-14
The Paragraph Fiend.

Inc Paragraph AoAA'
Chance Observation-Disclosures
10 together-Sausage and suspicion
Never hreathes his last-The shoemaker
SOLEMN QUERY.
"Can stored urn or animated bust" -,
Exceed In eloquence the words NO trust
The Republican press of New York ano
Virginia humbly petition Senator oherhian
to keep his shirt on
According 10 the Nedtrot WoHd, every
farmer wears out on the average two wives
and half in his lifetime.
Nine. Judic Is the most remarkaole Dull,
Der in the world-wheneyer she sings OH
the key she makes French nat
When red nosed man wanted his pic,
tllre in heroic attitude, the artist panied
him in the act of refusing to take drink
Oyerset from the German-Carl: Moth
er, il was in the milk bucket dead mouse.
Mother; well, hast thou it thereout tax
en-" Carl NO: have the cat therein
thrown
The Prince of Wales is entitled to wear
savantv different uniforms, but he never
his uniform habit.-lrhdhSd" IFdt""
What is wanted" says a clergymen, us
a recreation that is inexpensive, that iur-
nishes physical exercise, ana Is harmless
10 morals" Saving wood would seem 10
fill the bill -Bos'0R CORNER,
japanese etiquette requires visitors 10
remain at the places they are visiting uhliI
they are told to leave y good many VISIT
ing acquaintances in the country seem 10
be trying 10 make that the custom here
HHWciy state J0prDol
The price of giraffe is 10000 Board
Ing house people who had an idea that
hash contained Il little OI everything can
now eat that compound with the assurance
that Giraffe is not one OF the component
parts-YOHtCrS Sid'CsmyH.
A new merchants exchange building in
Memphis was opened with prayer IN the
course of which one member alld lhe{
deal in futures here Yes, ] see, saId
the other, ana by George they might as
well open a jackpot with prayer,
Not very complimentary to the sex was
the answer of an Old bachelor 10 young |
mother, who exclaimed shouldn't you |
like TO have Il family of rosy boys about |
your knees no, ma'am,' said he; "id |
rather have lot of yellow boys in my
pocket
What is your weight now, John in |
quired friend of Mr.. Caution. Il you
mean my wait on that box OF cigars won !
from YOU on the election replied Mr.. eau
ton in that modest manner which di,tln |
tlngnishes him, lit has been about eight |
,,,nn,bO ~ DjvyL,yU JgIgO1uDI
THE DIFFERENCE.
Behold, two friends 60 forth to-day;
Both are on pleasure bent;
One to the beach TO take his way,
To watch the waves toss high their spray
The other through the town to stray
To sec the elephant.
Now, whats the difference 'twixt the two?
The answer comes with ease
'ris simply this one sees the sights,
The other sights the seas.
A Providence woman gave birth TO four
children last week the newcomers living
but a few hours. Yet a local paper eXtols
the thrift of the husband in taking adyan
tage of the sensation II caused and collect
ing 10 cents each off the 500 people who
rushed TO see the little ones bodies.
"Those Chinese have some strange Gus
toms. For instance, the men buy their
wives at auction" remarked Colonel With
erspoon to Gilhooly. THAT Is bar6arous
When will they learn TO buy them at prl.
vate sale as we do in thiscountry =" respon
led Gilhooly cynically.-7eras S5ttngs =