Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-02-11
UNIQUE NAMES
some Curious cognomens Among the Nar
tion's Pensioners.
washington star.l


"Yes. frequently meet queer people /
with queer names" said prominent /
pension attorney ia answer 70 the question
or Star reporter.
IL can recall number Il names Of ac-
tual living persons" :" be continued, (which
are as significant as any u be found in the
works of John Bunyan. Samuel Warren,
or Charles Dickens Praise God Bare
bones is not a circumstance with some
names havew
'.Ahs" interrupted his questioner. do
You mean names suggestive OF character
or occupationy"
''Yes," was the response. Persons
whose names are associated with colors,
as Brown or White are often met with;
SO, also, the names Of Long and Short
and similar cognomenS are so common as
not 20 excite surprise, but there are
many instances where the appellation is
peculiarly pointed and even ludicrous in
it's effect. For example: Pilgrim Crazy
lous' is a school teacher in a Pennsylvania
mining district, and his name reminds me
OF the time when l sat in an old district
school-house ON a hard wooden bench, just
behind short haired urchin whose head
would have been benefited by the use OF .
6ne-tooth comb, and whose proximity
learned 10 dread after my mother had made
several searching Investigations OF my
scalp"
Il suppose Pilgrim boards round?" OBJ
served the reporter.
~ don't know" laughed the attorney.
"But here is a man who ought TO be one OF
bis scholars" and he handed the reporter
letter signed by I'D. Slatecypher." While
the Star man studied the signature the
lawyer pulled from pigeon-hole u bundle
of papers and suddenly resumed: ''Christ-
ly Crow is colored preacher who was a
good soldier in the war and was badly
wounded. He is now fighting Satan in an
Illinois city which is big and bad, and /
understand has had considerable success
a minister among his own race. l don't
wish to be irreverent," continued the
speaker, "but have met several 'Christs
in the line of my business. a. Christ
from Bethlehem, not Judea, but Pennsyl-
vania. applied through me for a pension,
while j. Christi who was gallant soldier,
/ fighting through the entire rebellion, is
now, / think, a clothing dealer in st. Louis.
christian Bible is an Indiana German,
who ought to be a good man, but have
forgotten what he follows for a hveli-
hood"
Here the narrator paused for moment
TO relight his cigar, which operation hav-
ing been accomplished, he took up paper
and said: "There is strange relation of
names and incidents set forth in this appli.
cation"
The reporter examined the document and
found that ~. s. Timberleg" was asking
Uncle Sam TO pension him because he had
been mangled by a splinter during an ep-
gagement before Charleston in 1864, on ac-
count of which injury amputation above
the knee was rendered necessary, so that
for the last twenty years his name has
been peculiarly applicable. A striking CO.
incidence in this case was that the Justice
of the Peace before whom the necessary af-
fdavits were signed bore the name of
Isaac Walkingstick."
"Here's another" sentitiously said the
lawyer, as he showed second application
toward his visitor, who found that TOR.
ment Twist" was suffering the twisting
torments of rheumatism, contracted in the
winter campaign of General Thomas near
Nashville. The reporter regarded the pa
per with contemplative silence, which was
broken by the attorney exclaiming,
} "'Dreams go by contraries,' AMI that is
true of names sometimes, for John Drink
lager never drank lager or any other intox-
icating liquor in his life. He went through
the war in the same company with me, and
was wounded in the Wilderness. / know
him well, and when he was here TO see
about his pension he made rattling tenn
perance speech one evening before Good
Templars' Lodge in this city, which he
visited with me-" After two or three puffs
at his cigar, the speaker went on: "'Rea.
son Twig' Is a compound of schoolboy
slang, aud is an unusual name even for a
Vermont Yankee; but it is no more peculiar
than Skye Leaf, which is Indian. Another
: enlisted Indian scout is known as Ka Nj Yt
, Ulster who was disabled by frost bites out
IN Montana, Notwithstanding the protection
r VI his name" The speaker here arose
r calmly and lighted the gas, saying as hs
r did so: II have letter from n woman ou
, in Cincinnati. She ia q soldiers widow
D and is entitled 10 her pension. Her name il
( Nottingham which, think, is just littl,
$ suggestive of 'Porkopolis,' don't your"
! The reporter sat helplessly dazed for
I moment, but recovered sufficiently to gasp
D II guess I'd better be moving" and bidding
1 his companion "good night" went dowI
D the street wondering why people viii bes.
9 such names when an application TO a Leg
; islature would secure for them such ap
pellations as "Vere de Vere'' or "Percy, :,
q or even plain "John Smith,"
3 CHANDLER BELL
Old russ-and-Festhers Respond. When Z