Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1885-04-02
A TERRIBLE ADVENTURE.
Mrs. Badger Tells Her Husband
All About It.

All About It.
II have had such AZ adventure" ex.
claimed Mrs. Badger as she flounced
into the sitting room, sank into an easy
chair and gasped for breath.
What is the matter, my dear?" in.
quired Mr.. Badger as he laid down his
newspaper and prepared to listen.
THAT is nice way to speak to a
woman af;er she has just seen a sight
that curdled her blood. Oh, my :" ex-
claimed the worthy lady as she covered
her pink face with her terra Gotta gloves,
totally oblivious for the moment of the
fact that the two colOrs formed very
inharmonious contrast 81 can see it
before me now. l don't believe will
ever forget it, ever"
Compose yourself, my dear, and
sell me all about it,
THAT IS the way with you men,"
responded Mrs. Badger as she removed
her hands from her face and began I'M
buttOning her gloves. "YOu have no
feeling. You don't know what senti-
ment is. Ii you had passed through
what l have to-day the first intimation
would have of it would be an unusual
Odor abOu: your breath. You would 90
into saloon just as if nothing had
happened and talk the matter over with
friend, and by the time you got home
you would forget all about it. Compose
myself, indeed, / know l shan't recover
from the shock for six weeks, if l ever
will"
Here the excited matron paused to
allow her husband an opportunity to
interrupt her again, but that individual
wisely refrained from taking advantage
Of it.
when got through my work this
noon-you know We had company for
lunch? Mrs. Simpson and her daughter
were here. How | detest that woman!
| know she came here on purpose to
make mean remarks about her new
silvcrware. BY the way, Isaac, that
silverware is wearing very badly. The
plating has been rubbed off in three
places on our coffee pot already. That
comes Of buying your tableware at a
tea-store. l always knew You were no
judge of such things. The next time
perhaps You will let me buy stuff for
my own house. But you always think
you know so much about things. No
one can teach You anything. If YOU
would take your wife's advice once or
twice year, instead of that miserable
Jim Wilson's, it would be better for Won
and me too. suppose now YOU will
90 and tell that odious man lust what
I've said. That is the way YOU ALWAYS
do. You know you do. The last time
l told you the truth about him You went
right off and repeated it to him like a
little. kaky school-boy. You needn't
try and deny it, for Mrs. Wilson came
over here the next day and made the
most scandalOus statements about YOU
l ever heard, and know she only did
it to get even. Oh, if l was only man
I'd show you some things that YOU
ought to know"
Here Mrs. Badger stopped for breath
and glared across the fireplace at her
unfortunate husband in way that
would have chilled the marrow in the
bones ola less experienced Benedict.
'.Weh. my dear" suggested Mr..
Badger, with a faint sigh, ..as YOU
were about to say. Mrs. Simpson
called"
That's right" snapped Mrs. Bad
ger, viciously. That's right Since
you were down town and saw the ter
rlble sight, suppose you finish the story.
That's right. Go ahead and tell me all |
about it. I'm impatient to hear'
Il didn't intend to interrupt YOU, NV |
dear. responded Mr.. Badger, YEARLY. |
Don't my dear me, sir. Please |
don't. Well, since you don't know
any thing about it and are willing to
listen to me relate it l will continue. |
Mrs. Simpson and her freckled-faced
Miss simpson CAME to lunch. We had
picked salmon. hot biscuits-you know
what delicious biscuits Mary makes? It
is the only good thing about the bag.
Gage She does everything else ter
r1bly. She broke three saucers this
morning while she was trying to listen
TO what was saying to you about Jen.
ME Parsons while we were in the
pantry. l think shall discharge her
she Is too careless for any use, but then
she il cheap and knows our WAYS, and
HrefeA knows what should do with a
ass a tpE | sseepse You would be