Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-22
BRIGHT BITS.

"YoU DON'T mean TO say that your boy is
seriously III love. madamW "Well-he goes
TO churchn'-B0st0a Beacon,
THERE is place in Asiatic Russia named
Chlkis-liar. 1t is supposed nearly all the
newspaper war bulletins are forwarded from
that point.-NorriSto1ot Herdld.
A WOMAN in this State pointed an old pistol
at tramp and blazed away until she shot a
calf worth S3j The tramp is tlckled TO think
she didn't ann at the calf -Euohdn0e.
WHEN the Old Testament is revised and
modernized IL will prob bly, state that Adam,
after eating the apple, received word that his
resignation would be accepted Troy Press.
JUNIOR PARTNER-"Our travelling man
ought to be punished. He told one of our
customers IN Albany that l am an ignorant
fool b." Senior partner--''l shall speak to him
without fail, and insist that no more Office
secrets be diyulged. "-BOStoR Beacon.
If you have been moving and cannot find
the backing brush, don't speuu your time in
looking in this corner and that. but 70 directly
to the DoX where you keep your white neck
ties and you Will ind it. If you can't find
your white neckties, look IN the blacking case.
These rules always hold.-BOstoR Post.
AN Arkansas Democratic editor has shot
and killed Postmaster. Some means must
be adopted to make vacancies for Democratic
Office seekers, but it strikes us that the Ar
kansas edltor's plan is little too impulsve
and calculated to create unfayorable COM
ment, even III his own party.-Aorrjst0lon
( Herald. .l.
4 wELL-KNowN PHYSICIAN OF this city
| claims TO have caught a pa pound trout the
other day, and now we learn that on the same
! day q small boy seining for minnows in Hale's
brook net;ed "a similar fish. 1t is a strange
] cOlncideuce, surely, and II we did not have
the utmost confidence IN the boy, we should
think the doctor had been fishing with sill
yer hook.-BUr1iagton Free Press.
A TRAVELLER. recently returned from India
was relating hls travelling Impressions. what
a country that tsY' he exclaimed. "Ihere
everybody keeps dozens of servants. / had
four who-o sole business was TO look after my
pipe. one brought tt TO me, another filed IL.
a thlrd lighted IL for me -" "And the
fourth" "Ihc fourth smoked it for me. To-
baeco never agreed with me. "-AtscekIRed.
WERE drifting along to the month of June,
When the soda fountains flZz.
And the summer hotels will very soon
BE doing rushing biz.
And 10 earn a little surplus cash,
Ills pocketbo X thin TO swell,
The student Will shortly be singing hash
At the mountain or beach hotel.
-Hdyydrd LamDoon.
AFTER THE HoNRYNOON.-
He called me POpsey, Sweet and Pet,
When we began our married life,
Ills guiding star. his loved Annette,
Hls hope, his JOY, his daring wife.
These fond endearments are all Ger,
And though his heart no doubt Is true,
! hear those pretty names no more,
For now lac calls me. "SaY there, you!"
-B0stoH Courier.
MRS. SSivERLY Is the wife Of the Captain OF
q New York militia company. She attended a
review not long since nc which her husband
WAS the commanding officer. Mrs. Sniyerly
laughed all the way home. ana when, after
she got home, she was asked what was the
cause Of her merriment, she replied: at was
the funniest thing Ia the world to see my hus.
band, who never dares open his mouth at
home, ordering oil those men about. and they
doing just what he told them 20 do."-Er-
change.
IltGu TAxEs.-Taxes are very high in some
OF the Texas towns. 'lou say YOU are per-
fccily destitute, but don't know whether IL
il 40 or not, said a Dallas merchant. scanning
the beggar from head TO foot. Here are my
receipts" replied the mendcant, showing
that / have iust paid the State, county and
city taxes on all my real estate. You, who
have no property 10 pay taxes on. can afford
TO be charitable." The non. property owner
weepe, and bestows half dollar on tho uu-
fortunate taxpayer. Tepds SififH0s.
"a woULD-BE POET" writes. believing
that possess a faculty Tor rhyming am ann
bilious to be "a poet. A. have heard great
deal about the Poetic license, am anxious 10
know whether or not IL is necessary for me TO
take out one Of tbeee licenses, and ~ it H.
where shall I apply for one" The proner
person 10 whom 20 apply for q poetic license
Ia seems to us. Is Walt Whitman. At All
events. he uses the poetic license himself FREE
quently, and with remarkable success, being
able, through lie aid, 10 make "Afghanistanh
rhyme with green cucumber. '-BOsf0a C0ur-
ier,