Sharp County record., 1885-07-16
LATE FOR DINNER.
A Conjugal Dialogue, Quarrel and
Reconciliation.

is six o'clock sharp. Mr.. Macy, who
has been absent since morning, comes
home seven minutes late.
Mrs. MACY mot giving him time to
offer an e1cuse) -"Well, when you rang
I thought certainly it was the doctor" :"
Mr.. MACY (anrtously)-" The doc
tor? Are you expecting him? What is
the matter?"
i SHE-"I suppose it has never en-
tered your mind that woman, though
blessed with constitution of iron,
might suffer from having her meals at
all hours of the day and night. Neither
would you call it being sick. l suppose,
for her to sit and wait and worry, tor
mented by all kinds of conjectures and
fears; expecting every moment to hear
that her husband has been crushed to
death by cable-car, or met with some
other frightful accident.
(Macy, who sees the storm coming,
qUiSely remains silent.
SHE-"Will you at least condescend
to answer the only question that shall
ask youP"
HE-" Assuredly, my dear"
SHE" Will you be good enough to
inform me if you intend to come home
at this late hour every night?"
He (deprecatinglU-"Surely, my
dear, you are not going to scold be-
ooreo 7 IN, cox-on N, in utac 10 70 thic Onoo
Twas detained by business; but do not
ask what it was, for promised not to
tell"
SHE" have no doubt that you will
be a whole week late one of these days,
and viii end, perhaps, by being away
from your family for years" :"
HE-"Pshaw, my dear! How alb
surdr'
Absurd, is it? Why, it was
no later than last night that you were
telling me about the sea-Captain-La
Perouse l believe his name was-who
left homo one day, promising to return
at the usual time, and has never been
seen since by his unhappy family"
HE-"But this happened ninety
years ago."
SHE-"So much the worse"
-"Besides, don't you remember
that 1 told you he was shipwrecked?"
SHE-"Oh, yes; it is easy enough to
say that man was lost at sea, especial
ly when he is not here to contradict
you. But don't think, wher you make
up your mind to leave home forever,
that you will be able to deceive me by
some foolish story printed in the pa
pers, declaring, for instance, that you
have gone up in balloon which has
never come down again; oh, no, shall
not believe that story any more than
the one you tell to-day"
HE-"I am sure l do not know to
what story you refer, my dear :"
SHE-"Oh, indeedP A man comes
home brimful of mystery, and when
his wife questions him, when she vent
ures to ask him question, he responds
guardedly that it is secret Oh! am
not at all curious. | have not the
slightest desire to know your wonder
full secret. Far be it from me to try to
find out what perhaps would be the last
thing / should want to know"
HE-"Now, are you going to imagine
all sorts of foolish things, because l
happen to tell you that / have been oc-
cupied with another mans business to-
day?"
SHEA nice business it must be that
man dare not tell his wife. You are
the greatest talker in the world away
from home, but it is simply impossible
to get word out of you when you are
alone with your wife,
HE-"But, 1 tell you, it is not my
secret"
SHE-"I suppose not. A very good
excuse, that"
He (irritated)-"Good heavens! How
exasperating a woman can be-"
SHEA man never is-of course
not"
HE-"Well, for the sake of peace and
quietness I'll tell you the whole story.
SHE (Uih the air of q medrtp)-
"Neyer mind-I do not care to hear it
now"
HE-"Why, confound it, are you not
willing to let me explainp"
SHE-"What is the use? You would
only invent something. You are very
good at that sort of thing"
HE-"Will you allow me to speak,"
SHE-'I can not prevent it, can l?
You needn't be so fierce"
He (aboM 10 conJesS)-'T'--
SHE-"But Iwarn you / shall not be-
lieve one single aoord you say"