Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-06-17
Woman's Troubles.
WHAT THEY HAVE TO ENDURE TO MAKE
THEMSELVES ATTRACTIVE.

The Lowell Times publishes the follow
ing, revised by woman: 1t is dreadful
bother to be a woman and do the business up
in good shape. In the first place you've
got to look well, or you're nobody. A
man may be ever so homely and still be
popular. Whiskers cover up most OF his
face, and if he has big mouth nobody
mistrusts it. and if he does wrinkle bad on
his forehead his friends speak of his many
cares and of his thoughtful disposition.
and tell each other that his wrinkles are
lines of thought. Lines of thought, in
deed, when in all probability his forehead is
wrinkled by the bad habit he has got of
scowling at his wife when the coffee isn't
strong enough.
A woman must always be in good order.
Her hair must always be frizzed and bang
ed as fashion demands, and she must pow
der if she has shining skin; and she
must manage to look sweet no matter how
sour she may feel; her dress must hang
Just SO, and her lace must always be spot
less and her boot buttons always in place
and her finger nails always clean; and then
she mustn't whistle, nor climb fences, nor
stone cats, nor scold when she's mad.
She can't go out alone, because ladies
must be protected. She can't go anywhere
when it rains, because her hair won't
stay frizzed and she'll get mud on her
petticoats and things; she can't be Free
Mason, because she would tell all their Sc
crets and everybody would know all about
the goat and gridiron; she can't smoke, be-
cause that would be unfeminine; she can't
go counting, because that would not be wom-
anly But she must get married before she
is twenty-five, or everybody will feel
wropged. People will sigh over her, and
wonder why it is that "men don't seem to
take;;" and all the old maids and widows
smile and kept quiet. Oh these smiles
and these significant looks! They are ten
times worse than open ISLANDERS. 1t is a
terrible thing to be an old maid. Every
body knows it, and the women who are
married to drunken husbands and who
manage to quarrel with them six days out
of seven, will live in an agony OF spirit
over the single woman and call her that
spoor old maid"
A woman must marry rich or she doesn't
marry sswell." And to marry ''well' is
the end and aim of woman's existence,
Judging from the view which people in
general take to this matter. 1t is every
body's business when woman marries.
The whole neighborhood put their heads
together and talk over the pros and cons,
and decide whether she is good enough for
him. There is nothing said about his be-
ing good enough for her. And they criti-
else the shape of her nose, and relate anec-
dotes of how lazy her grandfather was. and
how her Aunt Sally used to sell beans and
bnttermilk. A woman must wear No. 2
boots on No. feet, and she must manage
to dress well on rs cents week, and she
mustn't be vain, and she must go regular
ly to the sewing society meeting, and be
ready to dress dolls and make tides and
aprons for church fairs. She must be q
good cook, and she must be able to edo
up" her husbands shirts so that the
Chinese washerman would groan with envy
and gnash his teeth with the same unholy
passion at the sight of them.