Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1885-07-08
AT THE OPERA.
MAN FROM "GEoRaY" SEES THE "Bo-
HEMIAN GAL"


living, growin' consolation to me thai
thar wasn't monkey nor none that acted
like 'em (and plenty thar was which fol
antics and foolery you couldn't tell from
the fool-blooded animaD that | didn't SEE
by the help of Bob. What's that? You
say you bet didn't see the OperY? YOU
bet did.
What Opery did see? see the Opery
of the Bohemian Gal. How did L like 1t!
Well, l liked it pretty tolerble, not out ano
out; the fact is they spilled it by oyerdoln
the singin' part. You know yourself the
way to spile thing is to overdo It, ano
that Jest what they does in the Opery
They overdoes it. The flddlin' and drum.
min is fine. The actin is beautiful, and
the rooms is fixed up splendid; bus the
singin' is overdone But [ am maxim q
transgression as the preachers say.
You see, I went to New York oisa sight
seein' expedition. l had made fine cot
ton crop, and my wife said she would &c
and stay at her mothers with the baby,
and could 60 and see the world; so I went
right to New York, and I saw it. Bob, he
stuck to me, and put me right through
Well, thought l must have seen every
thing that was to be seen, and l was tired
and could go home with clar conscience,
when Bob comes to me and sez:
"La, Jack! like to let you go home
without seein' the best thing in New
York"
"What's that" sez I, surprised, not te
say discouraged.
"Why, it's the Opery of the Bohemian
Gal. I tell you she's beautiful, she isv
sez Bob.
'cNow look here, Bob Tomplins," sez l.
'I'm married man, and I'm goin' back to
my wife able to answer any question she
may put without shrinkin', and amt 60
in to see no gal, however beautiful, be she
Bohemian or be she Dutch.''
Well, Bob at that commenced rollin'
round and laughin' and screechin' like he
had a fit of some kind. I see had made
a mistake, and was slightly afraid had
looked green, which on account of the
State of Georgy, which was representa-
didn't like to do, so thought round IN a
rapid way and recomembered that. had
heard of a opery cap, and sposed my er-
rer was jest thar, so l said in strategem
way, tryin' to laugh like Bob did, and SO
make him think I had intended Joke all
the time;
"Well, Bob, Pm glad to see you can
take a joke; faint every man can; but,
jokin' aside, who is this here Bohemian
gal, and what colored Opery has she got?'
At that Bob lost his breath laughin', and
the tears fairly rolled down his cheeks.
Then got mad, which any man would a
done under the circumbunces. Sez I:
"Bob Tompkins if you don't stop skir.
mishin round thar like monkey, and tell
me what under heaven you're maxim a
fool of yourself about, I'll up and knock
you into the middle of next week.
Well, Bob drawed up when he found my
feelins was hurt, and said, while he was a
wipin' his eyes:
ooh, Jack, you blade of grass, you.
Barnum ought to have you for circus;
you'd dror sure. A Opery is play-actin'
thing set to music, and the Bohemian Gal
is the name Of the Opery, just like 'Oh
Susanna and My Mary Ann"
''Well, why couldn't you say SO at first,
sez I, "withont maxim a fool of yourself?''
Bob he apologized, and we shook hands
and made up and asked him to go to the
Opery with me and I would stand treat
but he said he had an engagement, and
must excuse him. Then I asked him whal
I was to go. He said to the Academy oi
Music. Sez I: 'sEf this here show is q
school show, I will not go; have had
enough, in my life, of children exhibitin',
and as I haven't got no New York stock
in that line, neither duty nor pleasure will
draw me-"
Bob like to bust out larfin agin, but
choked it back with such power that he
risked apoplexy.
"Oh, jack" sez he, s'it's no school
they is Italien men and women, and you
won't understand what they sez, unless
you read a library before you go.''
"Thar it is agin," sez I, tread library
Why don't you tell me to build house in
five minutes? How big is your library? I
amt so much at readin', anyhow"
Bob choked agin, but he didn't say a
word; jest went to book stall and bought
pamphlet, which it looked like a tract,
about as big as Aliens Alarm to the I'm
converted, and he told me to take it home
and read It, and that was the story they
was goin' to sing at the Opery. And it's
we'll did read the American side of it, fol
of all the foolish gibberish that Italien
takes the lead.
After had eat my supper I went off to
the Academy of Music, and char was the
ticket man settin' up in his stove box, and
he sez, 'syou want ticket sir?"
Sez I: 'sThat's about what | come for.''
I was very dignifed, cause I had Georgy
on my shoulders, and determined to be a
honor to my State, and, above all things,
not to look green. s'pose the ticket man
thought | was pretty stuck up, for he sez,
as imperdent as you please;
'Will you have cheer or box?'
Eff 1 could have got at him l would have
knocked him down then and thar, but not
bein' able, used my sarcastic vain on him
and said: 'I'd have you for to know, sir, ]
am gentleman from the State of Georgy,
and we sets On cheers down thar, and
leaves the boxes to the people from New
York"
10 all appearance salcasm run off of that
man like water off of ducks back. He
only grinned and showed off to advantage
a full set of store teeth, which must have
cost a sight of money. He throwed me a
ticket, and told me to go in at the door he
pinted out. But law me! them people
haven't any manners. A man at the door
took my ticket away from me without say
in Shy your leave" and tore it in two and
gave me back half, and before could take
it out on him for his rudeness boy seized
that and dragged me off by the arm down
a passage between the seats, which was
all folded neatly up like they had just come
from the wash. He unfolded one of
these, pushed me in, and throwed my little
piece of ticket after me, and was gone be-
fore you could say "Jack Robinson"
1t seems a pretty hard case that-with
people insultin' him right and left Geor-
gy man couldn't get a chance to knock one
Of 'em down. But SO it was, and tried
to kind a devirt my thoughts from my ag-
grawations by lookin' round. It certainly
was slightly place, and what with the big
chandelier up in the ceilin', and the little
chandeliers all around, it looked like sun
shiny day; and then the lights glitterin' on
the diamonds and pearls and chalcedonies
and jacinths that was hangin' round the
women would put the foundations of the
celestial city out of countenance. The men
was mostly bald headed and wored swal-
lew-tail coats, and men and women was
armed with double barrel spy glasses,
which they gave them comical appear
ance. Some of these said spy glasses was SO
large in proportion to the men that they
looked like steam engines with double
light. One little bald headed gentleman
sittin next to me had the biggest pair in
the house. He actually looked as he was
hitched on to them instead of them being
hitched on to him; and again, as turned
my eyes on his white bald head with the
machinery in front he might have been