Smyrna times., 1885-04-15
WHOLE NO. 1856.
Here and Elsewhere.
Sharp and snappy-Dem-o-rats.

The Baldwin Locomotive works can
turn out 555 engines year.
The inventor of the scratch shirt"
struck in rich in scratching.
1t requiresa special training to teach.
but none to find fault
A genius is a crank appreciated. A
crank genius deprecated.
Silence does not so much beget wis.
dom, as it does wishes to clean up.
" Water works possibly it does, hut
1t Is not safe to bet any money on it,
" A rolling stone gathers no moss"
well what would be the use if it did.
There is a limit to all uses, with a
pig everything is saved but the squeal.
The President of France gets a sal
airy of SlO8,OOO year, and fre-woOd.
Western Rail Roads always cut in
rates when the roads are showed up.
Barrios of Guatamala is having the
measure of a wooden overcoat taken.
Advertising is like bread thrown up
on the waters, the fishes soon gobble it
up.
The large increase in the consump-
ton of rolls is not beneftting bakers, in
the least.
Spain and her revolutions are awed
and intimidated by frequent earth
quakes.
Et Esspritu Sancto," the superb
Mexican flower is queen of the New
| Orleans exposition.
The Lick, " San Francisco telescope
will bring the moon within thirty miles
! of the earth.
No progress is being made at all to-
wards completing the BarthOldi' ped
estal in New York bay.
The Piquas Indians of California hold
up mOlstened blanket as shield
against tipping bullets.
Orders from England for canned beef,
have taken up the entire capacity of
that business here.
The difficulties Of suppressing Reil's
rebellion are as great in Canada as is
the Arabs in Africa
Michigan farmers, pinned their ears
back to laugh at the discovery how
nice wooden boots are to work in.
With the best preachers the best
writers ideas come as slow as the notice
does after they are delivered.
If one hand does not know what the
other is doing it is more than likely the
man they belong to is taking rest.
Col. A. X. KcClure in a lecture stated
that the great men of this country, are
abused and vilitied beyond reason.
The costly Iron-clads Of Turkey are
rusting and rottening, the machinery
or many not being cleaned in five years.
A " Zereba." is in the Soudan what
a thorn hedge is in America, the gem
orator of Il good many naughty words.
Two men will meet shake hands and
!. say, how do We do, and think it strange
an Indian cannot be more explicit say
how"
5 In the absence of coal, the Iich min
? eral deposits of Mexico are rated in
4 their development with wood at $50
per cord.
v The new Commissioner Of Agricul-
ture is determined to rescue the de-
l partment from being the butt of news
4 paper jokes.
7 We are willing to fight for the tran
# sit of the Isthmus of Darien, and after
: Il while we will want to fight because
;, it Is a transit.
r. The Sullivan McCaffery sparring
! match at Philadelphia for points being
Il prevented by the courts virtually kills
i the sport everywhere.
, The stormy petrel, of the Farce Is
e land is one good bird in fat, the natives
e draw a wick through its body and
d there's lamp.
II 4 kind Philadelphia quaker lady
sent lot of Easter cards 20 the KiOwa
t Indians, whcreupOn they duly pasted
le them on their backs.
y If husbands would only try at this
>, time to be tritle atfable and Obliging
- milliners could clean up last years
~ -. stock in short order.
d The late Prof Agassis contended that
lie the human hand was the most wonder.
x full mechanism the world ever would
ls see, II flea often bosses it.
as What is everybody's business is no.
ne bUdy's, may be true enough, but some
Sc shrewed fellow will step up and make
W money out of the bewilderment
+. Pen pictures in the papers accord tc
"a Secretary Bayard the privilege o.
m being by all odds the handsomest maj
n in Washington in looks and in smiles
u; An article that cost a cent and sells
- for one dollar yields profit of 80 pei
cent. but when it is had for nothing
az and sells for a dollar it yields profit o
!, nc grab.
f. The 10th of April, " Arbor Day in
at Pennsylvania promises to be more pro.
he ductive of good for the living thar
en- can possibly be, Decoration Day
l for the dead.
rs
~ Ex. Attorney General Brewster in de
at cllnlnB u puOHc Odnqueti IN InllaOel
no pha, said the Times are out of Joint,
%. that feasting i'll became these calam
We itiOus days.
in
as Considerable doubt exists among
IN narratOrs whether lady retiring take
to off her left stocking last-hOw can it b'
otherwise? the fact is, we are getting
Iv. too smart or curious.
So 1t is in order now for carpenter tC
en- fit an outside door as close to the ground
mo- as possible so that when the frost raises
cR the ground next winter the door i
Int wrenched from the hinges.
oII Certainly the Presidents of Yale
Harvard and Princeton Colleges ar,
I;s is right in maintaining that the phonetic
I'o lno modes of spelling words is the true one
mne m AS she winked to me atthe wink.
uS uS In refusing to obey the order Of Secre
hu tary Garland not to ride, an official a
Washington declared that as the repub
licans rode for twenty-fOur years ; h
meant to have four years boost on I