Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-05-14
AUNT MiLLY AT THE SHOW.
How She Went With the Old Man to SEE
the Exposition.

| dun bin tell yer afore to hole yer
tongues while yer betters is a talkin'?
Clar out en- de house de las one OBJ you
| and don't you en- no wise poke yer
heads in dis door till 1 pintedly calls
We. l clar to de goodness when a
oman is got house full of chillun it
m ghty nigh runs her 'stracted.
well, Brudder jeff as L was tell
ing you. me and de ole man thought as
how we would 90 to de Exerposltion
and take our Judy along wild us.
When | fus' mention de subject to Bob
he JUS scratch his head and say as
how it pears like foolishness to spen'
nigh unto twenty dollars jus acase de
white folks dun bin dun it, but | tells
him as how We is dun sot up for quail
ity folks and can't in no wise leave dis
hopportunty pass widout seeing all
dem big sights which our Judy dun bin
read about
Oar you'se right, Sister Milly,"
sa d jeff Il knows dat ting from
sperience. You can't in no wise go
back on yer principles, and if YOU car
ries high head you is boun to tote a
stiff neck. too
"Jes so, Brudder, and when / brings
de ole man to dat 'pinion we starts out
according to de Exerposition. but
when gets dar bres God. de people
am jam so thick and dey buz. buz Ike
so many bees till mighty nigh dun
broke nv head. Brudder JEFF, dat big
camp meeting what we dun bin had
last yeah whar de people was so tn ok
you coulnd't hardly stick pin atween
EN- wasn't not NO pared to de folks at
dat Exerposition.
You amt tell me so, sister? 1t
pears like to me as how de people
would sutfocate if dey WIS packed in
any cluserd dey wus at dat meeting.'
''Brudder jeff. you aint't seed moth
ing. De folks at dat Exerposition wus
sight to behole. Well, de ole man he
AK de ticket man if as how we could
90 in dar and do JUS Ike de VIII tie
folks. and dat sorter rifles me and says
|: Bob. don't make a fool outen yer
self. | lays ole Milly knows how to
act alongs de de quality folks. De
young gemman jus laf and saws he:
Walk in. ole lady. and have it all
your own way Bruddcr JEFF. when
/ O Is in dat house | looks and looks.
and fore de Lord could looked till
dis blessed day and not seed all dere
WIS to see. Oar amt nothing what
you can call for what a n t r ght dar,
and YOU sees right dar tn 'ngs what
you ain nebber seed afore and what
you nebber WI see agen. | 'spect l
stands dar till [ looks right foolish.
case | hear q red-haired, ill-mannered
white boy say to nudder chap: Il say,
Harry. do look at dat ole culled oman;
she's dun got her jaws propped open.
and | clar to goodness her eyes are
a-gwine to pop outen her head Den
saws |: Young men, You t!nk You is
mighty Sc but ole N1illv is dun bin
used to all desc sights afore you was
born Judy, she says as how der p r.
Eceman don't low no fusSing, and we
move along. Right afore me | sees a
pretty red man, a-hold ng out a siggar
to me; den | makes him a curtsv and
says / tank you, massa; | don't smoke,
but my ole man is more n apt to take it.
Den Bob he takes often his hat and says
tanky sir. but he cotched hold of de sig
gar red man hold it right tight and
de folks latf Ike dey was 'stracted.
Den says |. dem is poor manners, but
Judy says as how dat amt no sure
enutf man and she wished we would
not make the people latf at us. Den as
l was going along l picked up an apple
jes' for to see how big it was. but law
sakes alive dat white man wild de star
on his coat cotched hold of my arm.
and says he: Hold on, honey, not so
fast White man. says |, Il amt in
no more trying to steal your apples
men call me honey but my ole man Bob
Oar you got him. Sister NJ lily.
says JEFF. In course he couldn't argy
that pint
Move on, ole lady said he; and
1 hearn him tell lady as how we
culled people couldn't held from steal
ing to sabe our lbes. De idear! AFTER
dis | feels sorter tired, and claps my
self sorter down in de fus cheer l seed;
but, Dress God. afore [ dun sot down
de cheer dun bus and down l cum ca
bash on de floor, and den de folks cum
running like dey is w Id. And one man
he mighty nigh dun shake de life outen
me. and when l tells h m as how |
thought de cheers was put dar to set
in he jus rar aroun' and says as | dun
owe him twenty-five dollars. and VIII IN
l say twenty-five tiddlesticks! de folks
just holler and laff. and dev crowd
aroun' so thick dat 1 jus slipped ah nd
de people. and amt no more seen dat
fellow since. but | amt care to set
down no more day day.
'Den arter awhl lie | seed de prettiest
white oman right afore me, and she
look so hard at me dat make a curtsy
and say how do you do. mann. She
mt speak. and says 1. Mlstis. can t
you let de old Niger pass? but she still
stan dar in de way. and l gin her a
push. and. fore de Lord, she tum' lie
down cabash on de floor and de people
dey holler and dey laff like dey is go ng
to buss open. Den one man he says as
how | dun Knocked his wife down and
killed her, but my Judy tells n m as
how it mt no sure huff oman and he
oughter hab more manners dan to pose
on her mar. | tells de ole man as how
/ dun got enuf' of the EXerposition and
wanted to 90 home. When L gets outen
dat house | breathes sorter free l Ike
and de ole man g is me spanking up
good dinner and says we mus by all
means take a ride in de 'lectric car.
Well, g is in dar. looks aroun' and
l seed dero amt no horses and deere
amt no engin. and says L: Mister,
what dat moving dis car along| And
den he laffs and says he Dis here car
is conured and JUS goes along
by itself, and Dress de Lord,
Brudder jeff, dat was a fact. Oar
wa n t moth ng in de Lord swarl to make
dat car go. Den l gets right skeert
and says |: M ster. don't N no were
deal in the debbTs work and l mus
get outer dis ting and den de folks
sot Up such a laff dat judy said as how
hadn't dun moth no all day but make