The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-03-17

70 pt GENEROUSLY i'm to,uuu,VltIutl.
'rhe deotofth city Is about 500.
100000 II the corporation viii
hhelpns 70 recover our rights we
w6lldn't mind paving % thisdehl,
and being satisfied with the little
surplus whichwil lfeman.
Rink Rules Of Filtration.
Nov that skating finks have
taken the place oficecream sccials,
the following rules for fliitatibn,
(which we clip from the Michigan
\ City Dispatch, may be 81 service 10
lunr readefG
Making backward somersaul,
and Lighting on your neck-t'm
mashed.
Jainming self and partner into
wall Let Us perish together
Casting yoarself headlong on
hoor- Ny despair is great; you
love me not.
TOmake a rushforth the banislers
I've two parted; or fly with me,
my love-; or, better still, Ill see you
.lllaler.
Punching your neighbor in the
stomecA with both feet Head me
I atf, please.
Remaining on floor in sitting
posture Will some gentleman as.
sist ineI
a backward flipoifthe feet and
10 sudden adhesion 0fthe knees 70
the aodr4I adore you.
Squirting down Unexpectedly
and causing skaters to be piled up
three feet deep on topUfyou-Iam
overcome.
Suddenly placing yoar legs hori.
seutally on the tloor like the letter
WI We changed my mind.
springing suddenly from a sit.
lting position-Don,t trouble your
sell. / e
Catching yoarfeet 10 your part
ner's dress and tearing thetfim.
ming OLA little disfgured, but
still in the ring,
One skate in the mouth indicates
that sou are too full for nlterance,
Both in your individually l
have had enough.
To knock u lady through the
window No ca,ds.
T0grab her store hair and pull
it of at the same time you deftly
extract her false set ofteeth, means
the engagement is ID.
To kick with 0ne leg toward Da.
kota while the other winds around
yonr neck, indicates that you are
off your base.
To make a flying leap and land
on your back, at the same time
some one concludes To sit down on
yoI-l'll go home on a shutter.
To double yourself up in a bow.
khot aud land on your probuscis
Paint the town red.
To give u mid air gymnastic en-.
tertainment while requesting a
Young lady to skate with you, in
dictates that she will be sorry il she
does.
To make public exhibition Of
yourself seven times in three laps,
Is sure sign that yu1had bettergo
hume and saturate Your Uranium.
To leap intD tho air and come
down with a dull thud and not get.
ap promptly -Bitdie, | am tired
nov.
To remove your skates BY cut.
ting the strap-I want TO 90 home.
To glide gracefully about the
room with your partner-Ws won't
go hume until morning.
To fnrget tn pay for the use Of
your skates-I shan't come again.
sam IRVINE a prosperous farmer
Of Pocahuntas county, is likely tu
receive a sentence Of a long term of
imprisonment or even banging on
account Of his marriage. He mar
ried Matilday McCatty; only II
years old, while his age is So
The county is terribly excited over
the wedding. The law was com.
piled with so far as the license is
concerned, and the consent Of the
| juvenile brides paren ls was obtain,
ed, But it is claimed that the lat.
Ter, who are poor, received a sum
If money for their consent, and
practically sold their child to the
farmer. The girl is comedy in ap.
pearance and looks older than she
'eally il. The marriage is a viola
tionOf a West Virginia statute.
The citizens are incensed and will
prosecute IRVINE " the fullest ex
tent. The penalty imposed is
either imprisonment or hanging,
according as the jury may decide.
The clerk who Issued the license
is threatened with persecution
Transcript.
A correspondent of the Cincin.
natl Commercial Gasette asked what
is the fastest time ever made by a
steamboat from Pittsburg to Gin
cinnati, That paper SAYS "The
Piusbnrg, Capt. Kountz, on the
second freshet in 1852 made the
run from Pittshnrg Ia Cincinnati
in % hours and Is minutes, inclu.
ding one landing at Maysville aud
sending out a yawlat Portsmouth,
/ Nank n na.,...k.ii oe.L n.