Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
JOHN PHOENIX.
His Wonderful Fossil Discoveries at West
Point.

fOtnt.
The following story in regard to
Lieut.. Derby (John Phoenix, the humor-
ist) was told me by Gen. William I.
Sherman: You know, there was few
miles from West Point place known
as Benny Ravens. where the boys used
to go to eat fiapjacks and drink flip.
Benny Ravens flip had national rep
utation. and his flapjacks were deli
clous. The cadets, however. patronized
Benny Ravens to such an excess that
the officers of the military school at
tempted to put a stop to ii, and very
Few permissions were granted them TO
go outside of the walls of the institu-
ton. Derby was in especial bad favor,
and he knew that he could not on or
binary grounds get permit One
time, after he had been week or more
without drink of Benny Hayen's flip,
he pretended great repentance as to
his studies and gave out that he was
going TO do better. The professor OF
geology was a curious old fellow whom
he had cartooned numerically, and
who had horror of him. To him
I~ADy HChts anu Will ltdlH III HIS CftS
said he was sorry that he had wasted
his time in the past, and that in the
future he intended to do better. He
feared as it was he would not be able
to pass his examinations, but that he
wished to use his remaining time in the
academy so that when he went out he
would be fitted to battle with the
world. and he intended to pay special
attention to geology. This geological
professor was an enthusiast, and very
simple and innocent withal. He en-
braced Derby and congratulated him
on his best resolution. During the next
few days Derby came into the class
room with the best oflessons. He ask
ed many questions and showed great
interest in the subject, thus winning
glowing opinions from his professor.
He remained in the classroom after the
lesson of the fourth day. and told the
professor that one of the milkmen who
supplied the academy had been telling
him OF some wonderful petrifactions at
a point away up in the mountains. He
had spoken of fishes and the tracks of
birds and other specimens which Der
by. having carefully posted himself by
the books, said he supposed belonged
to such and such an age.
The professor rubbed his hands dur
ing the relation, saying EYES," Eyes. /"
Very likely, very likely!' And when
Derby concluded by saying the milk
man had offered to conduct him to the
place, he was eager to have him go
On Derby's asserting the doubt that he
would not be permitted to leave the
academy, the professor said there
would be no trouble about that, and
that he would get the countersign and
the permit This he did, and the next
day Derby started out early and struck
out at once for Benny Ravens.
Here he lay around all that day eat
ing fiapjacks and drinking flip, and
carried on his carouse far into the
night. Early in the morning he came
back to the academy very mellow in
deed. but succeeded in passing the
guard and tumbling into his room. As
he lay down on his bed he happened to
think that he must have an explanation
to give to the geological professor for
not having the specimens. He be-
thought himself moment and then
went down and picked up a couple of
stones from pile which lay by the riv-
er side. He brought these to his room,
and with chisel cnt into them a num-
Der of what looked very much like bird
tracks. Going out again lie rubbed
these with dirt and then came back,
laid them on his table, and went to
sleep.
After breakfast he took the stones to
the professor of geology, who, by the
way, was very ncar-sighted. He told
HIM that the milkman had failed to
keep his appointment, and that he had
attempted to find the place himself.
He had not discovered the petrified
fishes nor the other fossils described by
the milkman, but he had found these
stones, with their curious tracks. and
he thereupon gave the professor lucid
explanation of the bygone age to which
the stones belonged. and how antedi-
luvian birds of character not now
known had made these curious tracks.
His disquisition was so well put that
the professor conceded with him. He
took the stones into the classroom that
day, and related Derby's wonderful
discoveries. The affair was for few
days the talk of the class, but Derby
could not keep his secret to himself and
told it to one or two of his friends. 1t
went all over college, and the result
was that Derby was suspended. He
got back again, however, after time
and was graduated. = Cleveland Leader.