Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-02-12


ing home you have to write considerable
matter in advance, don't you?" asked q
man Of an Arkansaw editor.
t'YeS.n
Don't you sometimes make mistake p
20, no. I have furnished copya year in
advance. 1t may seem difficult, but it is
easy. Here is some stuff that intend fol
next year," and he read the following:
''The cotton crop is short. Corn did not
turn out aS we'll as the farmers expected
Let US have free ballot and a fair count
They are suffering for rain down in the Bear
Wallow district"
"Yes, but how do you know they will be
suffering for rain down there"
'The foreman must use his discretion, for
the following paragraph says: There has
been too much rain down in the Bear Wal
low district You see, in ArkansaW, we
all either suffer for rain or we are having too
much. 0, it's no trouble for an ArkansaW
editor to throw sheet of manuscript into
the future, and let time and his paper catch
p."-ArEa1esdp Traveller.
IT Was HIS GLASS EYE.-A conductor
on the Boston and Providence road tells the
story of young lady of this town who en-
tered the noon train for Boston the other
day. She seated herself opposite a gentle
man who from the first seemed to be gazing
fixedly at her. She became indignant at
length, and inquired,
"Why do you look at me so, sir?
He said he was not aware of having done
so, but she insisted.
II beg your pardon, madam, but it's this
eye, is it not?" lifting his finger to his left
optic.
''Well, madam, that eye won't do you any
ha~ f5, n CSIn Dt,lxy a InSc nxyn
hope you'll excuse it. But, upon my honor,
Pm not surprised that even glass eye
should feel interested in so pretty a woman
The explanation and compliment COM
bined to put the lady into good humor,
Mansfeld Neaos.
AN EARNEST PRoTEsT.-'I have piece
of good news for you," said one of the dea-
cons of the, church to the minister.
l "Yes 5: - :. .,9} ,9}uerried the good man. "And
"We think of rendering you donation
and advancing your salary two hundred
dollars ycar."
The minister appeared uneasy for mo,
and then remarked:
"I-I wish deacon, that if the matter
hasn't gone too far, you would stop it as
soon as possible. 70 tell the truth, deacon,
that last donation about ruined me, and all
my spare time is given up to collecting my
present salary. l am afraid that the extra
labor which would be entailed by the addi-
tional two hundred dollars might break me
down."
ANSWERS TO QUEsTIONs.-From an an
swer given by boy whose father was a
strong teetotaler, it would appear that home
influence had made stronger impression
1QSSnnC
meaning of syntax?" he was asked. "Yes,'
he answered, "sin-tax is the dooty upon
spirits" An inspector who had been ex-
planning to a class that the land of the earth
was not continuous, said to the boy who hap
pened to be standing nearest to him: "NOw,
could your father walk around the earth ?''
mo, sir" was promptly answered. "Why
not ?" Because he's dead" was the alto
gether unlocked for response. AS little an
ticipated, probably, was the answer made
to another inspector, who asked, "What is
hovel ?" and was met with the reply
"What you live in."-AU The Year Round
NOT so BIG AS He THOUGHT.-A bright
little fellow, about three years of age, was
very anxious to 90 to walk with his father
"No," said the latter, ''you can't go; you
are too little"
so, no, papa" he said, stoutly, "I'm a
big boy"
"All right" said his father, "come along
On the way home the little fellow became
tired, and wanted his father to carry him.
II thought you were big boy?" said his
father, pretending to sneer.
II was big boy when l started out" he
said, "but Pm little boy nOw."
lie was carried the rest of the way.
ONE HONEST BEGGAR.-A benevolent
lady investigated the wants of some profes
sional beggars the other day. "Where is the
blind man ?" she asked Of a little girl she
met at the door of the tenement house. 'He
is readin' der paper, num-" "Ah! AND
where is the deaf fman?" Hes talkin' pol
itics wild de butcher" "And what mas De, !,
come of the paralytic" "He'sabed, num-
"Well, that's strange. He ought to be run
ming a race" replied the lady sarcastically
"He is the only honest beggar in the build
ing. Why is he in bed?" because he's
dead, mum. ."-Drake's Magazine.