Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-05-23
Matrimonial Advice To Young Man
Asking it.
BY UNCLE 81.


Why not? Are you selfish enough
to think Of "going it alone" through
life? Then trample down that selfish
ness and take a "side partner'-a
crib" you know. No, you Won't
find your path strewn all along with
roses, but will meet with more or less
thorns; but, ordinarily, you will find
it a much pleasanter path to pursue
than the desolate road of single
wretchedness.
Oh, yes, we know all about this
freedom, you speak of, as bachelor.
Know all about your being able to
do as you please, in the hours not de-
voted to business, which you call
your own. Know very well there is
no one to grumble at and "caudle"
you when you reach home at . in
the morning, or later. We are per-
fectly well aware that you can go
out every night in the week, if you
wish to, without having to play the
"lodge" racket on helpmeet who
takes no stock in that business.
Know that you escape many cares
that a Benedict is obliged to shoulder
and bear the best way he can. We
know the whole story from A to IL
zard, young man; you can't tell us
anything we don't know about it,
for we have been there and staid over
many nights, as it were.
Yes, we know all about these
things; know the liberty you boast
Of; know you are q "free mani
free from the trials, troubles, and
tribulations of married life; free from
its joys, pleasures, and satisfactions
as we'll; know you can go here and
go there, do this and do that, with
out consulting "better half" but
what if you can? What are you,
with all this boosted freedom? Sim
ply selfish bachelor, playing a lone
hand in the game of life that you
were let into play, with q partner OF
the gentle sex, for home, and for a
place among mortals which you
never can attain as a bachelor. That's
what you were let into the game for,
young man, and you shouldn't forget
it; but you do forget it when you
question the propriety of entering in
to wedlock.
Stop, now, that's all fudge about
women being so eXtravagant, nova
days, that young men can't afford t.
marry. Few in your condition o
life are as eXtravagant and lavish il
their expenditures as you yourself
and if these are more reckless THAI
they should be, it is for that which
affords them more than momenta
ry satisfaction-an ostrich feather i
thing of beauty and a joy for Ion,
time-which your costly cigars
drinks, etc., are not. You get a sala
ry of 1000 a year, you say, ant
spend every cent of it. You asl
where you would be if you had
wife? We will tell you: You woul,
be excepting house" comfortably AM
contentedly, have a home-whicl
you have not now-and be $50
ahead at the end of the year, livin
better, happier, and more respects
bly, than you now live. How is tha
for matrimony? You don't believ
it, Ell? Well, it is fact, and yo
don't believe because you don't war
to believe, that's what's the matter
young man. Now, suppose you al
grumbled at and "caudled" now an
then-doubtless you will deserve it
isn't that better than entering a chez
less room at , a. M, and going
bed with your boots aad breeches 0
for obvious reasons. Think II
matter all over in a spirit of fairnes
young man look at it with unprejl
diced eyes, and you will renounC
single wretchedness and take uni
yourself a wife, for certainty. ]
some girl that is waiting you may |
IA hero, and with nothing hero
about you! Think of calling her a
your own, that nice little body--it
not necessary, though, that 81
should be little. Choice humanity
not arbitrarily confined to small pac
ages. Ifshe be large body, so mut
the more to love; and love is no iii
criminator in the matter of weigh
and measures of mortals, but match
the long with the short, the hea,
with the light, knowing nothing
feet and pounds.
Marry? Yes and marry early, b
not often, unless often bereaved;
which case there is no law, written