The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1885-02-06
Odds and Ends,

Inc W asnln9tOn 1fatcnet describes
Colonel Ingersoll as man who spells
God with little and hunts all over
creation to find a ID big enough to
honor the devil with.
FL" Thief" $4,000 "Defaul-
teri" 500, Shortagee !" $500.
000-"Canadian tourist!' 81 ,00o, 900
brilliant financier!"
A friend of John c. Enos says that
John began life as a poor boy. His
creditors are welcome to all the con-
ISOLATION they can derive from this.
1t may be true that "two is COM
pany and three's crowd" but you
would have considerable trouble con-
vincing a theatrical manager of the
fact.
Theo keeps bearded old duenna,
whose duty it is to write affectionate
notes to the yealy youths who lose
their heads over the actress, and try
to correspond with.her.
An Ohio girl, while out driving
with young man this week, got out
of the buggy and killed herself with
pistol. He probably persisted in
driving with both hands.
Wife-"John, our coachman must
CO." "But why, my dear? Our only
daughter is married." Eyes, but
John, I'm not SO very old myself, you
knowW
"You may speak," said a fond
mother, about people having
strength of mind, but when it comes
to strength of don't mind, my son
William surpasses everybody | ever
knew"
A California man claims to have
seen an animal half dog and half alli-
gator. We strongly suspect the same
man saw two wives and two rolling
pins when he got home that evening.
GLOW are you getting along 2"
asked an old judge OF younger law
yer. Every well, thank you," was
the reply. 81 got my first case to-
day" "Indeedl" and what was it ?"
"a bookcase.
At the club. Van Dyke-"And the
dogcart don't belong to him, eh ?"
Browne-"No, borrowed. He's poor
and only half in society" Van
Dyke-"Julius Cesar and took the
trouble to be civil to him."
We notice that there is a great deal
more said in the papers about "pho-
tographing the SUM- than about pho
tographing the daughter. And the
daughter generally makes the hand
somest picture.
A baraa,or ,a,J,ot>r ,..aa, Al. a.,
gagged in prize fight out west and
won after a desperate struggle of an
hour and half His opponent Sc
cured first blood, but the knight of
the punch got all the knock downs.
A Kansas City paper says "It's a
cold day when the democrats get
left" This shows the divine dispen-
sation of Providence in bringing cleo
tion day in November. It's generally
quite chilly in that month.
A poor insane man walks about the
streets OF New Orleans with a cornet
in his hand. The pity which he
aronses is caused not so much by his
insanity alone as by the peculiarly
pitiable manner in which it manifests
itself.
"And so you have been to Europe?
Did you go to Switzerland? ? and did
you see the glaciers ?" Mrs. Shoddy
-"Oh, yes, We saw mechanics of all
kinds, but then, you know, | don't
take any interest in such vulgar per-
sons.
"Boston has an accomplished girl
,l.N NJ -,
languages" To hurl seven languages
at a mouse would be a great waste of
dialects. 1t is very doubtful if the
mouse would understand only one
language.
"No," said the merchant, ~ don't
advertise now. | used to, but got
completely tired out waiting on GUS
toners. Since stopped that adver-
tisement | have had continual
vacation and have been able to dis
charge two OF my clerks"
1t is announced that Mrs. Belva
Lockwood intends to have her cab
met made a la Pompadour, cut bias,
with seven rows of knife pleating
down the front, and jabot OF Span
ish lace, with ruehing of Scotch null
and pink bows around the neck.
An agricultural journal prints "a
Cure for Bark Lice" Ii bark lice are
attacked with cholera, or yellow
fever or smallpox, or some other
dangerous disease, a man is fool to
attempt to cure them. He should
give them something to hasHn their
death.
An Ohio farmer says that a mule
can be cured OF kicking by catching
hold OF his leg while in the act. But
when the unfortunate operator is
sailing through the empyrean dome
he probably wishes he hadn't inter
fered with the inalienable rights and
hereditary customs OF the mule.
"Young man." said the professor,
'you should not allow yourself to be
guided altogether by your own opin-
ions. You should defer to the opin-
ions of others" Student-"But the
poet says tits madness to defer"
Professor-'"True, but the poet was
Young when he said that"