The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-07-02
In agony-The letter 6.

painted nose.
Water you soy?" said the pump to
the milk can. am get chalk full to-
night
Reporters may now wear their Grape
badges. The baseball season has
commenced
"Oh isn't that just dog" says the
slangy washington girl when her feel
ings exhaust her vocabulary
No bald headed negro can join the
Masons. Why? Because he is al
ways black bald.
The private path Of elopement gen.
orally leads to the public highway of
the divorce court.
Bishop Sharpe, aMormon dignitary,
always signes his letters to his wives
"Yours fraternally."
Gossip is plentiful in the boarding
houses. About the only thing that
will not spread well is the butter
An actress always begins to regard
herself as paSse after she begins to
make birthday presents to her grand
children,
Has John Roach ever thought OF
employing Secor Robberson to argue
his case before Secretary Whitney,
~ Y. Sum-
A new comic opera has a "seasick"
chorus, We should think such a
retched idea would cause the singers
to throw up-their engagements.
While medical students are being
harshly condemned for robbing graves,
it is forgotten that the students intend
to fill them up again when they go
into practice.
The chap who stole a dollar scarf
pin in New York City and went to
Sing Sing for five years, figures that
Fred Ward will get sentence of $780,
264 years.
"What is profanity?" asked news
paper writer. 1t is the remarks made
by Democrat when he is informed
that the Office he seeks has been CIV
en- to mugwump.
The crop of bald heads is reported
to be unusually large this year. The
census of the crop was probably taken
from the front rows in the theatres
while the ballet was in progress.
The first essay at the Meadville
School Commencement was entitled,
WANTED a Man" The sweet girl
graduate has begun her husband hun
ting early.
tits claimed that the highest facul-
ty of language is to conceal thought.
1t may be, but when a man falls over
wheelbarrow in the dark, it seems
to loose its grip somewhat in that
, particular.
Complaints about the adulteration
of lager beer are now quite common
. but the average drinker doesn't lose
O heart about it as long as the bartend
: er does not adulterate schooner with
too much foam.
, care you papa's boy?" eyes, sir.
: "And are you mammals boy~ eyes
u sir" But how can you be papa's ant
+ mammals boy at the same timer
I (After pause) "Can't a nice carriag,
: have two horses?"
81 now see what | have 40 be thank
full for remarked Q bald-headed MAI
;. as he looked through basement win
:, dow and saw the woman OF the hous,
. arguing with her husband by tn,
, handful.
Several New Workers are talkin,
Il about jumping from the East-rive
II bridge in case a purse of $500 can b
1t raised by outsiders. There is room
t, in the east for lots Of additional lido
asylums.
= Carpets in other department room
. last twice as long as that of the navy
- The officers detailed there connot ge
y over the habit of walking about, so a
to be ready to jump when the thin
goes down.
al Coddlepate used to rave over Mis-
at Gurigurls hyacinthine curls. Sine
N he has discovered that they are faster
re ed on with hairpins, he has chosen
il new floral emblem and now cal
IN them lie-locks.
j.! People can be found who never sa
- :, a postage-stamp, or tasted molasse
~ buta man would have to travel fl
}, and observe closely to discover
woman who takes no interest in
y love story.
A Chicago man got hold of IL
n wrong jug the other day and took