The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-07-03

S' anu Nv Auihcu
our a sprlg on the top crust with his
thumb: "and when you get it on. thus,
you p,nch IT around the edges, SO.
see! MY mother used to have an old
Wneei out OF a wooden clock, and she
printed landscapes in holes all over
ny Pc. Du1 tnat necessary. 1t
auas iuster' no dignity, TO the per
IorIhance. NOW, we put 1t in the
osGn, enls WISE ana IN a snort time we
W. aae oonPilsheo results IN the
..Ie ms VI Pc.
70 leaiis WonuerIul now Wen you
go now your moener a
Nhon' siiileu MIS-. opoopendyke.
You won't feel badly because it
Deats yours!' said Mr.. S~poopendyke,
kindly. "You won't cryp" and he
chucked her under the chin, and
opened the stove door cautiously to see
now AFFAIRS were progressing.
III Try not to-, replied Mrs.
ep9opendyke, casting her eyes down,
anG suppressing something that sound
Gu iike a SOD.
Let's see. You stick in a broom
spllnt, don't you, when you want to
Know II the PIE is donep Where's
your broom? Show me the happy
broom that is to be immortalized by
testing this grand ~apotheosis of pie!"
MIS-. Spoopendyke produced the
broom, II the husband, carefully Sc
lectlng one OF the splints, jabbed away
at the upper crust.
'It won't go in" he remarked, rath-
er dolefully, selecting another with
similar results. '.The trouble is with
the broom. Haven't you got a broom
that knows something about its bus1-
ness, or is this one of those pious
brooms that won't work on Sundaysp"
andhe broke up several more splints
in a vain endeavor to penetrate the
PIE.
Hadn't you better try the handle,
dear?" suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke.
mo, hadn't better try the handle,
dear!" mimicked Mr.. Spoopendyke.
Come out here, and let's see what's
the occasion of this uncalled for resist
ancc!" and MIR. Spoopendyke hauled
his pie out of the oven and fired it
down on the table. "Got an idea that
you re gong TO be assasslnated with a
oroom spllnt, haven't YEP Think
you're a sort OF a bulwark OF Ameri-
a llbertles n bound to resent for
elgn lnterVentlon, don't ye? Well,
you amt; you're only a measly pie,
ana you're gong to have something
stuck IN We, II 1t takes a cold chisel
n a and MI. Spoodendyke
stabbed at 1T with a fork, and then
Win chopplng-knlte, without pro-
ducing the taintest impression.
up III PIE, what dye suppose
is the matter with the thing?" he
asked, turning on his wife.
II "a been your mother, l should
nave put some lard in the crust" re-
turned Mrs. Spoopendyke, compla-
Gently.
81 don't know how you're going to
get lard in a crust that you can'tpene-
with a beyonet!' retorted Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, upon whom it began to dawn
ina there was a hitch somewhere.
I've almost forgotten how mother
did Try! pies to see If they were DONE"
DID she ever try a club?' inquired
Mrs. opoopendyke, timidly.
"No, she didn't try a club!' roared
Mr.. Spoopendyke. Come thither, my
gentle pie!' he howled, planting his
fist in the middle of the apparatus.
Listen to the voice of the siren in
quiringly within. and he dropped it on
the floor, and planted mis- heel upon it.
Front door closed for repairs; en-
trance at the back!'' and he kicked the
whole business to the ceiling.
"Your mother must have been very
vigorous for her age observed Mrs.
Spoopendyke, calmly.
.I'ts those gasted Jumps of meat"
snarled Mr.. Spoopendyke, picking up
his pie, and examining its knobs and
bumps attentively. 81 thought they'd
melt when subjected to intense heat.
Anyway, the inside of that pie is all
right, if / could only get the lid off.
Got anything l can get under the
edge and lift the roof off this business?
Gimme that can opener! Give wav,
now! Whoop! Once more! Ri yah! Ali
together, now! Whe-e-e! There she
comes" And the crush gave way re-
vealing chunks OF beef and apple par
ings, half-cooked, and still steaming.
81 suppose your mother put in the
spices and cider after the hired man
had wrenched the pie OPEN" remarked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, solemnly.
You do. do yep squealed Mr..
Spoopendyke, sqatting down and
resting his hands on his knees, while
he grinned in his wife's face. "That
lump of quicksilver you call your
mind, has got around to where it
transacts the supposing business. has
it? P'raps you don't like the pie! 1
s'pose you've got some fashionable no.
ton that you don't care to associate
with this pie! Well, you needn't. 1
don't force unpleasant acquaintance
on my wife. l believe in making home
a paradise, l do! Go forth, piel' and
he SHE'D it through the window, glass,
sash, and all. THAT suit youP" he