The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-29
PUNGENr PARAGRAPHS.

"A compiler of statistics announces
that there are $4,000 Mongolians in the
Masonic order.
An ordinary woman's waist is thirty
inches around. An ordinary mans arm
is about thirty inches long. How adj
mirable are thy works, o nature
Toronto Mail.
"A New York dentist says that women
who gossip a great deal lose their
teeth soonest by decay, but this asser-
ton won't stop a female tongue for ten
seconds. Detroit Free Press.
"A professor of natural history says
animals frequently cry. This is not to
be wondered at. 1t must be an awful
strain on the feelings of sensitive pug
to have to walk on the street tied to a
dude.--N. Y. Graphic.
"A scientific journal says that many
diseases are spread by the circulation Of
bank notes. This is an important an
nouncent and people generally should
be careful how they receive money
Oil city Derrick.
The United States have more than
three times as many miles Of telegraph
line, double the number of telegraph
offices, and forward twice as many tele-
grams annually as any other country on
the globe. Russia comes next.
Somebody says: "All the vexation
and unsatisfactoriness Of shopping
comes from going forth with no clear
idea of what is wanted" But that is
not it. The women know what they
want. The trouble is that they can't
buy the earth for fifty cents.-Boston
Transcript.
my son." said a father gravely
handing the youth some money, do
you know why a ten-dollar bill Is car
rier pigeonp" Certainly, father" re,
piled the youth. pocketing the money
1T flies so fast after it Is once broken. "
Chicago Tribune.
-"Ah. William" said an old lawyer
to Mr.. w. w. Story, the sculptor, ''to
think you might have followed in your
fathers footsteps! You might have
been a great lawyer-you had it In yor
and you chose to stay on here In Rome
and pinch mud!''
-Ella-''What do you think of that
for a photograph, MaryP" 1t makes
me look like a fool. l think. The pho
tographer told me to look natural
something never could do when l am
told to do it," Mary Why. Ella.
think you succeeded admirably. BIOS
ton Post
Here is a note l want you to hand
to Mrs. Lively when you are sure no
body is looking" said a New York
society man to colored servant at q
fashionable Fifth Avenue residence
Eyes. sab, replied Sambo. showing hi.
worries. "But, mind you, don't whisper
o word to a living soul" You kin
jess rest easy about dat, boss. Yester.
day fetched dat ar same woman let.
ter from anudder gemman. an ain,
said word to nobody yit. You kin
Jess rest easy about hit. "-Erchanqe.
-"Ah. job" said Mrs. Shuttle, as
she wiped her glasses, Il see that the
Goddess of Liberty has arrived in this
country" YES, yes" replied Job.
Now Il I could be sure that the God.
dess of Liberty could be induced to pre-
side over our little household should
be happy" Job Shuttle! Aren't you
ashamed of YOURSELF What more lib.
erty do you wantP You were at the
lodge three nights this week and at q
baseball game every afternoon. Do
you want to make your life one grand
Saturnaliap" with your permission. !"
meekly replied Job.-Hartford Post.
"A fifteen-year-old daughter Of w.
G. Lavender. six miles southeast Of
Dalton, gave an exhibition of her sud.
denly developed magnetic power Thurs.
day afternoon. She exhibits all the
wonderful powers of the other magnetic
girls. and the electrical force Is so per.
ceptible as not to be mistaken. In the
chair trick. for instance. she simply
rubs the palm OF one hand on the bach
splints. She also stands immovablt
upon one foot and dehes the pushing Of
the strongest man. She claims that
the simple touch Of ones fingers upon
her shoulders destroys her viii power,
Is she designates it-Dclton (0a.
ArQws.