Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-08
settle it. Tommy would find it cool

1t was quite pleasant surprise to find my
fathers Oldest friend, Judge Waite, seated
IN the private office waiting to examine me-
he seemed to be as much broken up about
1t as l was, but waved me to a seat and
turned back to highly excited man with a
red head. who was relating CHASTITY yarn
which. it seemed to me- bore a dim resem-
olance to my little adventure.
"Yes." he resumed, "there is no doubt that
it was young Mr.. Bouncer. My wife's maid
says she has been much annoyed by his
winking at her from his window, and she
positively recognized him as he stepped into
her room. She also states that he said he'd
salute her. using some pct names which she
failed to catch, owing to her imperfect
knowledge of English, Then she screamed
murder and ran for me-"
Did any Que ever hear such a willful per-
version as that3 | began to feel like a regu.
lar Don Juan.
Can you explain this disgraceful affair,
Mr. BouncerP inquired Judge Waite
,ternly.
"Of course I cam" replied, and went
over my dismal tale again. "As for the
girl" ended, ~ never saw her. felt in
tensely enthusiastic owing to a combina.
tion Of circumstances. and called out to the
moon, Diana, l salute thee, or some other
nonsense. | didn't know was not in
my room till l heard those awful yells.
Good joke, wasn't it, jud gel"
Joke ~ interrupted the red-haired man
furiously. "Joke, he calls his highly prob
BILE story. Well, ! don't see the point.
Why the young rascal has broke "a good
$50 worth of glass in my conservatory
Funny, wasn't it, And to make it more
| i..ur ha t.yifa nd bar ha,
in high Mysteries all the morning. amt
got the humor to enjoy his fun, and. by
tfeorgei somebody's got to pay"
At this juncture my father appeared with
tragic countenance, and, petrifying me
with stony glare, joined the melee. Then
the sport began The injured Spuddings,
my father, and the judge engaged in spir
ned argument After two hours wrangling
compromise was gected. My father was
to pay for any damages the Spuddings man
sion had sustained under my vigorous hand
| ling. In addition to this he paid my fine
Tor being drunk and disorderly, smoothed
he irascible Spuddings down SO that he
consented to withdraw his charge. and re-
tired to make out his bill
And then / got it. I've often heard my
father and the judge shout with laughter
over their college scrapss, particularly one
n which, being much exhilarated by a
wine, they put goat in the presidents
room when he was asleep and sore wed up
he door. They always recalled that
| spisode as a specimen of refined
'ollege wit, and always added, with pride,
We were rusticated for that" Yet they
ell on me like a ton of brick. l was the
;reatest reprobaJe unhung, Fool, sOt, idiot,
oft disgrace, cowardly, silly, abandoned
vanton, depraved. hopeless. From the
'regoing ad Jectives you may imagine the
| yle of their lecture to me. until they be-
anne exhausted by their own eloquence and
snt me home in cab, to pack up and pre-
are for exile.
| Lever and dozens of other writer's fill W
he lives of their heroes with such ad
centuries as mine, and everybody, my
slaIives included, regards them as jolly
ictures of the life of high-spirited young
nan. Yet they declare I've oisgraced the
amily.
! In our dining-room hangs a portrait OF
| my great-unce Rupert and I've often
card my Aunt Tabby declare with pride
nat "he was an ancestor to be proud Of
| ! hardy, free jovial fellow who took his
| * bottles after dinner and went to be-
| nder the table. Ali" the good lady wouli
| Cd, 1--WE have no such men nowadays. "
| let on hearing of my escapade she retired
her room with Young's Singh.
lhoughts," and declared her heart wa
roEen with the disgrace
Where's their consistencya Why i.
yerything always wrong for me and right
or other fellowsl Why does our family
which has the reputation of being the olo
st and most quarrelsome family in Phila
lie Iphia, become unanimous in sitting OF
lol It's tie only thing they ever do agroe
bout.
Idon't blame the Wigginses fot beinl
own ON me. 1t was a little rough OF
ommy, and got him in good deal of >
Nv. But the whole city need not hav
allen foul of me. Somebody might bav'
sen just. But what's the use OF reason
q 1t was simply my luck. Circum
.ances, as usual, were too many for me.