davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
A Picket,s Prank.

The following laughabe incident of
the war is going the rounds:
At fredericksburg a Union picket,
who was stationed opposite DR.. Taylor's
house, hallooed across the river, dis
lance Of but few hundred fest, to the
Confederate picket: Johnny, fix your
bayonet, stick your gun in the ground,
and come over here for a chat" 1t was
not an unusual thing for soldiers of both
armies to fraterniAe when on picket duty;
and so the Confederate, unsuspicious of
evil, fixed his bayonet, and stuck his gun
in the ground. No sooner had he done
this when the Union picket brought his
gun TO his shoulder and drew bead on
the Confederate as he shouted: "Now,
Johnny, condemn you, mark time" The
disarmed man was completely at his op.
ponents mercy. Refusal meant death.
At his solitary pos. HI ,sgn gravely
M lrking time for dear life. The cor
poral of the guard from distance, no
ticing the strange antics of the picket,
approached him and called out:
"What's the matter with you2
There must be no skylarking on picket
"Whist come here, remarked the unfor-
tunate picket, in II scarcely audible tone.
The corporal looked in the direction in
dicated; and as he saw the silent figure
across the water with the rifle steadily
pointed in his direction, he heard a clear
voice cry out: "Tell that corporal to
mark time, too" Tho corporal did not
hesitate, but promptly began keeping the
picket company in his tresome amuse-
ment.
Directly approached the sergeant of
the guard Oh his tour of inspection.
"What do you mean2" he shouted in a
rage. "Pick up your muskcts at once"
But, strange to say, they did not
obey him. "Come here" whispered
the pcrspiring corporal. "Do you
see that Yauk across the river"
The sergeant looked, and again
the clear voice broke the air: ''Tell
that sergeant to drop his gun and mark
time" The sergeant obeyed with Won
derful alacrity. Can you imagine any
thing fuunier! Just thing of three sol
ders standing on a rivers bank and
marking time for the amusement of
man who had a "bead" on them But
it didn't appear funny to the officer
commanding the picket-line, who, no.
ticing his men acting so strangely, came
up, almost shrieking: GLOW dare you9
Attend to your duty at ouce!m "Come
here, lieutenant" said the sergeant, who
perhaps took little malicious satsfac-
ton in getting his superior officer in the
scrape he was in. "See that Yank across
there" The officer took a disastrous
look; and in a moment, at the command
of the Yankee across the river, he, too,
was marking time most vigorously.
When the Union picket had its full Of
amusement he suddenly threw himself
backward over a hill in the rear, and as
the Confederate curses freighted the air,
a shrill laugh was heard in reply The
four victims of his practical joke reg
istered a solemn VOW that they would lie
in wait for that Yankee and kill him on
sight. But they never had chance.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
Anscno,s Of Ar,en,u. Nnrn.

In the winter Of lS60-Gl Artemus
Ward was travelling as advance agent
for Ossian E. Dodge, AMI one day en-
tered the Office Of the Citizen and Ga
settc, at Urbana, Ohio (whers the writer
was at that time engaged as a compost
tori, to make arrangements for Rdvertis
ing.
After chatting for some time with the
editor, Mr.. Joshua Saxton, one of the
oldest newspaper men in the State, and
man of marble dignity, the droll show
man started to go, but, p-using at the
door, he turned back suddenly as if
something had been forgotten, and said {:
''By the way, Mr.. Saxton, have you
got boy of--of-good moral char
acter7"
1t was with a glow of pride that the
editor rubbed his hands and told him
that he had, for the youngest apprentice
was at that time up to his eyes in the
study Of theology, and afterward be-
came shining light in the pulpit.
"You are certain, Mr.. Saxton, that
he has-ah-b been carefully brought
up2' continued the humorist, with great
gravity.
"Oh, yes; feel quite sure Of it,"
"He has no bad habits that you know
Of"
N'Oh, no; he's an exceptionally good
boy. In fact, he is a model boy. What
do you want with himi'
well" said Artemus, slowly, his
face relaxing and sly grin gradually
creeping over his homely features, ard
like to hive him stick up few bills for
me. ~ CHICAGO Ledger.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
Telling Time by Flowers.

The judges house was over in the
French quarter of New Orleans, unat-
tractiye outside, but as soon as you got
into the broad hall cool breeze struck
YOU laden, without cxaggeration, with
the balm of Ii thousand flowers. The
hall led right through the house, and
opened into q regular fairyland of
flowers, garden the Ike of which ! had
never dreamed OF. 1t was surrounded
by high wall and had plants in it from
every country under the sun. The white
haired old gentAman and a group of
grandchildren habging about HIM took
us about, and the first thing we stopped
at was large oval plot, set out with
said the judge, sis my clock. What
time is it, Clara?" he asked Of enc of the
CHI dren. The girl ran around the plot
and said it was O'clock, and so it was.
The four o'clock was in bloom. "In
fact" said the story-teller, "ihe clock
was made up of flowers In the centre
was a pair of hands, of wo-d, covered
with some beautiful vine, but they had
nothing, however, to do with the time
telling.
The plan was this; The Judge had no
ticed that at almost every hour in the day
some plant bloomed and working on
this principle he had selected plants of
different hours aud placed them in q
circle, twenty-four in number, one for
every honr. For example, ut the top of
the carthen clock, at II o'clock, was
planted the portulacca and he told me
it would bloom within ten IN nutes OF
II, aud rarely miss. AT the hours of I,
Q and he hal different varieties of this
same plant, all of which b oomod at the
hour opposite to which it was planted
at o'clock be had our common plant
Of that NAM, and you all know how you
can depend on that. At 8 the garden
uotago came out, at the geranium
iris and at 7 the evening primrose.
Opposite o'clock he had the bona nox
and at the 81 ent noctiiora all these
blooming at or near the time given. At
10 o'clock, if remember rightly, he had
cactus, at another kind, and at IL
the night blooming cereus.
Half of the year some of the plants
don't bloom at all. The plants opposite
| and 2 in the morning were cacti, that
bloomed about that t M, and at 3 was
planted the common So sify, and at
Ihe chicory, at 5 the snow-thistle and at
8 the dandelion. -Sun Francisco Call.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

Once upon a time certain little boy
Observed his sister curing her hair
around hot poker, and When he saw
her golden ringlets twist up like Georgia
pine Shavings, what lie considered an
over bright Idea struck Him.
"1'he folks next door say their pug is
Better than our bull dog, because its tail
curls over Its back SO tight. I'll just
curl The bull dogs tail Now, and run
him up aud down in front of their house
and make them feel Meau."
So he called the Dog, and Heated the
poker until twas almost red in order to
get a Good curl. Gra'ping the dogs
tail, he quickly Wound it around tn c
Poker; but it was not wound Around
the poker half as quickly as the dogwas
wound around the boy. lie picked him
up by the Small of his back, and shoe k
him out of his Clothes, aud left nothin1
on him But his fleckles and look of
terror. The boy was Then obliged to
lie in bed until his father could Afford
to get him new suit Of clothes, which
was a month Laler.
The Moral of this little fable teaches
us Two Things; first, that bright, origi-
nal ideas are dangerous In the hands of
people who don't know how to Use
them, and, second, that when we ex-
pertinent with bull dor, we should
Muzz!e him before beginning.-Puck.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
New YOrk's Rich Willows.

New York has a number of rich wild.
ows. Mrs. Josephine Aver is the relict
of the pill doctor, who made fortune
in patent medicines and left her about
S., 900, 900. Mrs Martin Bates was left
by her husband 81, 500, 900, which he
made in dry goods, and Mrs. james
Brown, who lives in fine house on
Park avenue and Twenty third street,
received from her husbands estate about
1000, 900, which he accumulated as
a banker. Mrs. w. E. Dodge is worth
81, 900, 900, much of the income of which
she sends to the heather. Mrs. Robert
Goelet is worth $4,000, 900, made in
hardware, and Mrs. John G. Green, the
widow of the Princeton college patron,
is worth $40 900, 000 Mrs. A. r. Stew
art has an estate worth $50, 900, 600, but
she lives like nun in her big white
marble palace on Fifth avenue, and the
bachelor fortune hunters might as we'll
WOO statue of Diana. Mrs. John Min
turn is another wealthy New York
widow, and is worth $4,000, 900. Gov
ernor Morgan's widow is worth several
millions Clarkson Potter's widow has
an immense income from his estate, and
Mrs. Edwin Stevens, who owns "Ca stle
Point" at Hoboken, is one of the richest
widows in America, and counts her
wealth by tens of millions. Mrs. Paran
Stevens husband made &c. 900, 900 in
hotels, and he has left her the Victoria
and share in the Fifth Avenue; and
Mrs. Marshal 0. Roberts, the eight m l.
iionairc widow of a mining king, was
talked of while Mr.. Arthur was in the
White House as the prospective wife of
the President. - OJereidRI Leader.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
eggs are EIugs.o

The wife of certain suburban was
that nuisance among good cooks7a per
pe'uat borrower. One day it was q cup
full of sugar; the next, q box OF blueing
and the clothes wringer, and so on.
And she wasn't half as good at return.
ing as she was at borrow ng. One day
in the midst of her cooking not an egg
was to be found. Over she went to one
of her neighbes, widow of small
means, and borrowed the two or three
eggs she happened TO have in the house.
Several weeks elapsed, when one after
noon she appeared in the widows
kitchen with three eggs in a paper bag.
"Good morning., Mrs. S. l have
come to return something you let me
have the other day. l had boiled eggs
for breakfast this morning and these are
three / had left over. Eggs are eggs,
you know Boston HerdJd.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

In the British Medical Journal Dr. w.
Roberts, OF England, discusses the effect OF
liquor tea, coffee and cocoa on digestion. All
OF them retard the chemical pro Q sses, but
mort Of them stimulate the glandular ACTIVE
10y and muscular contractions. Distilled
spirits retard the salivary or peptic digestion
but slightly when sparingly used.
Wines were found to be highly injurious to
salivary digestion On peptic digestion all
wines exert a retarding influence. They
stimulate the glandular and muscular actiy-
ity on the stomach. Effervescent wines ex-
ert the greatest amount Of good with tho
least harm to digestion When ones dges-
ton is out OF order everything goes awry, I'm.
less, as in the case OF T. I. Seals, OF Belaire
Ohin, who hal bad dyspepsia for seven years.
the digestive apparatus is kept in apple pie
eating order by Warmers Tppecanoo the
host appetite producer aud regulator in the
world.
Tea, even in minute quantities, completely
paralyzes the action of the saliva The tan.
min in strong tea is injurious. Weak tea
should be used, If at all Strong coffee and
coca are also injurious if used in excess.-Ths
COsmoDotitan.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
The Adimtnnt's Order.

During the war, there was in General
Stevensons command very devout and
energetic chaplain, who was exceedingly
earnest in regard to the spiritual welfare
of the soldiers, especially before going
into battle. This preacher, (" said GEN
eral Stevenson, "came down to where
Billy Wilson's Zouayes were encamped.
and had talk with Billy. He said thu,
his efforts had been wonderfully BILE se,l e.,
that he had baptized Fifty men from one
regiment, 100 from another, and so on,
enumerat'ng the fruits o. his religious
labors, and he suggested to Billy that,
as they were on the eve OF battle, it
would be well for him (the ohaplain) to
talk with Billy's men. Billy was very
proud Of his command, and he turned to
the chaplain and said That amt
necessary I'll save you all that trouble.
Adjutant,' said he, calling an officer,
you just go and make a detail of 800
men, take 'em down to the creek and
haptize 'em. No blame regiment in this
corps shall get ahead of Billy Wilson'S
Zouaves.' And" continued the general,
laughing heartily at the "reminiscences,
''the adjutant obeyed Billy's orders. ~
ArqOHauL.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
IOYe,n Aounr Fprcnnl.

''It is beautiful song" he said as the
flute, like tones of her voice and the tum
tum of the piano accompaniment died
away in the frescoes of the ceiling, "but
am not part al to secular music. Hove
the grand old hymns best"
"lndeed2' she said, az she ran her
fairy fingers lightly up aud down the
seven octaves.
"Yes," he exclaimed enthusiastically.
fthe grand old hymns for me-"
"Well," she murmured, as Il rosy blush
stole over her damask checks and the
long silken lashes shaded the bright an
beautiful eyes, and a sigh as soft as the
perfumcd zephyr that rustes the leaves
in the outrageous grove at eve when the
diamond dowdrop trembles on the petals
Of the moacst rose slightly stirred her
bosom, ''wc,l, do not know that can
blame you, for am rather fond of GER
tain him myself"
Then season of osculation ensued
over which we regretfully drop the cur
tain. -B0St0R Courier.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
Country Bows.

The glory of the farm is in its boys.
Their successful careers in every avenue
Of life where energy, ability and worth
are required is the best possible recon-
mendation of country life. 1t develops
constitution capable of struggling
with the tasks and hardships OF life.
Common sense, ingenuity and pluck are
natural products of the farm, al we'll as
fruit or grain. The man who pushes to
The front, the man of intelligence, adlp-
liability and power is the son OF farmer.
The country boys fl our CO leges, where
they are noted for scholarship and in
dustriousne5s and not to be forgotten is
the fact that most of them are forced by
necessity to the c'osest economy, while
the boy from the city rejoices in abun-
dant means. Full eighty rer cent. of
,he rich and Influential! in our city were
once boys on the farm. Tho vast
majority of the men notable in
The workshop, in the halls of legisa-
lation and at the bar, in the pull
pit, scientists, writers and schol-
ais of every class, come from the same
source. Our nation observes with pride
that most of her Presidents were boys in
frontier cabins, and learned to strike
heir first hard blows in the forest. The
courage that taught them to 60 bare
footed, wear patched clothes, and work
Tor their bread, has also taught them how
20 rule. "Almost one half of the pco-
| pie in this country reside in town.
Where are the town boys in the race of
ifc3 Pooling, curling their hair, polish
ing their boots, while the rough country
boy is ploughing barefooted along the
road to fame" BON an heir to no
fortune, he makes one for himself, md
sepping unknown from the cabin home
Of his boyhood, he wins both wealth and
fame by personal energy and worth.
"Where did that boy get his noble pur-
pose and unfaltcring oourage2 They
were born to him on the farm, they
were woven into his fibre by early years
Of tell; the warp and wool Of his life
were threads Of gold. "--.St, Louis De-
. fe Qt0r.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
The. Old Liberty BE |.

When the British entered Philadel.
phia, The old bell th,t led in p oclaim.
ing liberty was taken down and hidden
by the patriots.
For fifty years its peals rung out from
the tower Then II crack destroyed its
sound, and il can ring no more.
A short tiES1 %go, the liberty bell took
another jorFasJ, the first it has taken
since 17?7. h gent to the New Orleans
exposition. n sy1ard of honor accom-
panied it to sg'V@Set it, There was great
rejoicing in sAs Crescent city when this
time-honore6 relic arrived Bells we're
rung. guns were fired and whistles
sounded.
The old bee 10 silent now. but it has
an eloquent silence. 1t has done more
than any other bell to proclaim liberty
and freedom among men. --Dy Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

The conversation turned on supersti-
ton, and travelling man from Chicago
remarked to Will Shields:
''Do you believe in ghostsl
81 do, indeed, y replied Willie.
Come off, now, have you ever seen
one2"
''You bet have"
81 don't believe it.r
"Would you believe it If showed you
onc2"
"Of course.n
"Well, look at that, he said, pulling
out pocketbook so tlin au emaciated
that the light shonc through it like a
open window. -1Ne1chdnt- Trucker.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
A Valuable Medical Treatise.

The edition for 1886 of the sterling Med cal
Annual, known Us Hostetter's Almanac, is
now ready, and may be obtained, free of cost,
of druggists and general country dealers in all
in every civilized portion of the Western Hem
isphere. This Almanac has been issued regu-
larly at the commencement of every year for
over one-iith of a century. 1t combines, with
the souudest practical advice for the preserya-
tion and restoration of health, u large amount
of interesting and amusing light reading, and
the calendar, astronomical calculations, chro-
biological items, &c, are prepared with great
care, and will be found entirely accurate The
issue Of Hostetter's Almanac for 1886 will prob
ably be the largest edition OF medical work
ever published in any country. The propric-
tors, Messrs. Hostetter & Co., Pittsburgh
Pa, on receipt of two-cent stamp, will for.
ward a copy by mail to any person who cannot
procure one in his neighborhood.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

rich young men IN That he devotes him
self wholly to business, and cares moth.
ing for the frivolous pleasures Of society.
lie is constantly looking after his great
estates and spends from six to eight
hours a day in the saddle going from
place to place. He is quite pronounced
against his mothers freaks and extrava-
gance. He is soon to marry a young
girl Of humble station, and madame will
present this fortunate bride with the
Meiggs mansion as a wedding gift.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
Bound TO "Catch On. y

Fast we eat,
Fast we sleep.
Fast we live aud die.
Ii half the world were fast as IL
They'd have chance to cry
Wait, we don't,
Wait, we won't,
Wait we push instead
If we'd wait, and take our time
We'd never move ahead.
On we rush,
On we crush,
On, we move the throrg.
If we don't rush and pitch right In,
We never would ''catch on.n
Quick il is,
Quick with "biz
Quick we are, you know.
If we were quick as other lands,
Wouldn't we be slowl
Fraab Il. Earnaat. ~ PHILADELPHIA Nes
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
TRANSFORMATIONS TO Live.

From John Kuhn, Lafayette Ind, who an
nounccs that he is now in perfect health, we
have the following "Ono year ago was, to all
appearance in the last stages of Consumption
Our best physicians gave my case up. hnaiy
rot so low that our doctor said could only live
twenty-four hours. My friends then purchased
q bottle OF Dir. WM. HALLS BAlSAM FOR
THE LUNGS, which considerably benefited
me. continued until took nine bottles, anu
am now in perfect health"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
.TbeIleht that lie.

IN Woman'6 eyes,
- ray OF heavens own brightness; but X Is,
alas often dimmed or quenched by some wear
Ing disease perhaps silently borne, but taking all
comfort and enjoyment out OF life. That light
OF the household can be rekindled and made to
glow with its natural brightness. DIR. r. v.
Pierce's "Favorite Prescriptionn is a potent
specific for Most Of the chronic weaknesses and
diseases peculiar 10 women.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
A PIen,an. Compliment.

Minister'S wife docking over the
raper)-"You arc referred to in this
mornings paper, my dear, as "a distin-
guishcd clergyman"
Minister-"H'm / thought that my
sermon yesterday would attract atten-
ton. Is it published in full or only ?
synopsis giyen1"
Wife-"Nether. You are spoken Of
as distinguished clergyman in connec-
ton with that patent medicine tcstl-
monial you sent to DR.. Quack."
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

A japanese missionary says children
are better cared for there than in any
other country. He calls it the chill
dren's paradise.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

Young or middie-aged men suffer
ing from nervous debility or other delicate
diseases, however induced, speedily and PERI
manently cured. Adde'S Worlds Dispensary
Medical Association, Buffalo, n. Y.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
DYSP EP STAT

DIR. Railways Pills are cure for this COM
plant. They restore strength to the stomach and
enable it to perform its functions Tho symptoms
Of Dyspepsia disappear and with them the liability Of
the system TO contract diseases. Take the medicine
"False and True" respecting diet.
sB-Send letter stamp TO DIR. RADWAY 81
o., No. 81 Warren Street, New York, for
false aud True"
~.*Ilc Aura 10 Ret RADWAY,A.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
SCROFULA,

Whether transmitted from parents or acquired, is
within the curative range of the Sarsaparllian Re-
solvent.
Cures have been made where persons have been
afflicted with Scrofula from their youth up to 90 30
and 10 years of age by DIR. RAILWAYS SARSAPA-
RIILIAN RESOLYENT, a remedy composed of in
gradients of extraordinary medical properties, essen
tial to purify, heal repair and inygorate the broken
down and wasted body. QuicE, PLEASANT safe and
permanent in its treatment and cure.
Sold By all druggists. One dollar bottle.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

The largest city in the world is pretty
thoroughly English. London, with a
population put down this year at 5,1O9,-
1866, contains only so, IT'S Irish, 40, 554
Scotch, and so, 1862 foreigners
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

Laconic patient to physician Caught cold.
Physician: Take Red Star Cough Cure: no
morphis, no poisons. Only twenty-five
cents. St. Jacobs Oil cures pain.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

The huge, drastic, gripping, slckening pills are
fast being superseded by DIR. Pierce's "Purga-
tive Pellets" Sold by druggists.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

The total number Of ply sicans in the world
is estimated at 10000.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

Piccadilly, London, was named from Picka-
dila Hall, shop where piccadillas or lace ruffs
were sold
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

II q cough disturbs your sleep, take Piso's
Cure for Consumption and rest well.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25
A Terrihis nnistnk e.

A great mistake is made by any person who
expects to get cured of the Asthma by smok-
ing any kind of herbs. The only known cure
for the Asthma is DR.. Taft's ASTHMALINE
Trial bottles sent free. See advertisement
next week.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

No Eggs! No Trouble Delicious Teckham's
Frostine, or Prepared Cake Icing. All Grocers.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-12-25

Furniture buyers visiting Boston win find
that Keeer e Co.'s warerooms are filled with
all the newest STYLES Of artistic goods at lowest
Drices 81 to 81 Washington ST., cor. of Elm,