The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-11-25
IEsor REvaMPED.
The BAT IN THE CUPBOARD.

lESOf REVAMPED-
THE BAT IN THE CUPBOARD.
TranscriBed and Tsrsifed BY !Sor Deckeigrii
Once on a time Noblemsn,
Who's name now forget.
But for convenience sake will call
Him Lord of Somerset.
Who kept fine establishment,
And owned large domain;
And as BELTS Nobleman,
OF servants kept train.
Impelled from pure philanthropy,
Had built, on his estate.
A comfortable, roomy house.
With fixtures up to date,
Wherein the INDECENT, the poor
OF all his realm might stay,
Be fed and clothed, and nurtured well,
Without cent to pay.
So now this worthy Nobleman,
Himself does gratulate,
That his asylum. with Success,
Is launched on his estate.
Like man who did clever thing,
He thus soliloquized:
Ifeyer man has better done,
will be much surprised.
Have not given every thought
To building Of this house,
The walls, the larder, cupboards all
Are proof 'gaiLst rat or mouse.
Have not chosen from my realm
Knights of good pedigree,
To manage this, my house OF aims
As it should managed be?
Thus spoke the generous Lord Of s.,
And none will him reproach;
Assuredly he never thought
What troubles would encroach.
For on an ill-starred, dismal day,
From proper master strayed,
An ll-fed, whining, mongrel cur,
Tail-fallen and dismayed,
Came limping to the lords domain,
Most pitiful did whine:
GOOD lord, pray give me bone,
"0r I'm gIne caniner'
Lord Somerset could not Withstand
The canine's piteOus PRAYER.
If but to save such wretched thing
From hunger and despair.
They threw him bones platterfull,
But soon had all agreed
That he was not thoroughbred.
But of mongrel breed
And that when it grew SLEEK and fat
Would from them run away,
As he from former master had,
And go again estray.
To this the famished cur replied,
Pray, let me here remain,
will of greatest service be
To this. your wide domain,
For I'm ratter. sharp and quick,
As expert ratters be,
To famous Rat Dogs in the land
l trace my pedigree.
"Ah, well y thought Lord of Somerset,
Give every dog his day,
For 1t will no great loss entail,
Ii he again goes stray"
Sleek, frisky, spry the ratter grew
As time went on apace,
And shifting round for rats and mice
Quite over all the place.
At length one day whilst nosing round,
With pricked up ears and tail,
He gave sharp and frantic yelp,
Oh, he had struck trail.
Which canine-like he followed up,
Quite to asylum gate.
Then bowling so vociferously
He reused the whole estate.
Whose people all with mouths agape
Stared wondering round to see.
What raised such dreadful hellabaloo
Or what the matter be.
"A rat B! rat big as cat.''
Loud barked the frantic cur,
"Is lodged within this house somewhere
I'll swear il tooth and spur"
4 pilfering rat, grown big and fat,
With half yard of tail,
Who in the cupboard does himself,
Most festively regale.
Lord Somerset could scarce believe
.Tli.t such could be the case,
But ordering that exhaustive search
Be made DER all the place.
They searched the house both high and
low,
Pried nook and crany out.
From attic TO the cellar floor,
Yet found no rat about.
The Ratter, barking all the while.
At furious, dog-like rate,
- oh you now see what use be
To this, your fine estate"
They pulled the cupboard from the wall
Peeped cautiously behind.
Without, within, found not so much
As hair of rodent kind.
Then with a whisp and dusting pan
Swept nook and corner clean,
Whoop, now they found it, something
brown,
And pitifully lean
Then bearing it to better light
All cautiously approach.
"Pshawp' all pronounce with one acclaim
"'Tis nothing but roach"
Lord Somerset could scarce conceal
His anger and disdain,
When counting what this rafting fraud
Incurred on his domain.
If e'er another mongrel pup
Ny premises inyades
Just tie tin-can to his tail
And let him go to H-ades.
MORAL.
If you incline to nosing round
For money or for fame.
Be careful not to bark too loud
Before you're sure of game
Twill save you many heavy sigh.
Twill save you from reproach.
If thieying cat, big as cat,