davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-01-30

Walmer. Oct. /, 1s34.-We we're
talking of Lord Nelson. and some In
stances were mentioned of the egotism
and vanity that derogated from his char
acteF. Why said the Duke, I am
not surprised at such instances, for
Lord Nelson was, In different circum-
stances, two different men, as / myself
can vouch, though / only saw him once
in my life, and for, perhaps, an hour.
1t was Don after Ireturned from India.
/ went TO the Colonial Office in Down
ingstreet, and there / was shown into
the little waiting room on the right
hand, where ! found, also waiting to see
the Secretary of State, a gentleman,
whom from his likeness to his pictures
and the loss of an arm, / Immediately
recognized as Lord Nelson. He could
not know who I was, but he
entered at once into CONVEX
sation with me, il ] can call it converse
ton, for it was almost all on his side
and all about himself, and in, really, q
style so vain and so silly as to surprise
and almost disgust nae. / suppose
something ! happened to say may have
made him guess that / was somebody,
and he went out of the room for a mo-
ment, / have no doubt, to ask the Office
keeper who / was, for when he came
back he was altogether q different man,
both in manner and matter. All that
/ had thought a charIatan style had
vanished. and he talked Of the state Of
this country and of the aspects and
probabilities of affairs on the Continent
with o good sense and q knowledge of
subjects both at home and abroad that
surprised me equally and more
agreeably than the first part of our in
terview had done; in fact he talked like
al officer and a statesman. The Secre-
tary of State kept as long waiting, and
certainly. for the last half or three
quarters Of an hour, don't know that
/ yer had q conversation that interest
ed me more. Now, if the Secretary Of
State had been punctual, and admitted
Lord Nelson in the first quarter of an
hour, | should have had The sane inn
preston of a light and trivial character
that other people have had, but luckily
! saw enough to be satisfied that he was
really a very superior man, but certain
~ a mo sudden and complete meta
morphosis / never saw."-The Croker
Papers-Jennings.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-01-30

A New England governor had a way
Of making unexpected visits to institu-
tions under the control of the state
and some amusing encounters, in the
way of remarks about himself, etc,
have been the consequence of his
incognito; but we believe it has never
subjected him to the inconvenient joke
of being mistaken for a patient at an in
q n asylum.
When Sir Edward was Lord Chan
cellor Of Ireland, he paid q visit to q
lunatic asylum near Dublin, somewhat
by surprise, as he wished to ascertain
its real condition. The only notiica-
ton of his coming (Which arrived q
very short time before he did, was sent
by some wag of his witty nation who
evidently had q mind to get soia@ fun
out Of 1t. It happened that the super
intendent was absent when this notice
reached the establishment, and the sub
ordinate official received it in good faith,
and acted upon it accordingly. What
the notice was may be guessed from what
follows.
On Sir Edwards arrival, he found
himself rather unceremoniously treated
and after waiting in the parlor for the
return of the proprietor until his pa
thence was exhausted, he signiied his
intention to go through the establish
ment without more delay; ~whereupon
the attendant struck him aghast by
coolly informing him that he could not
be allowed to do it by any means
Cant be allowed to do i'll What dc
you meail, fellowl" asked the indignant
chancellor.
II mean just what / say, thin. You
cant go, you may 8 well be
quiet"
"Wha do you mean, sir, by this in
science? Open the door, sir, and
show me to my carriage. / shall re.
port your conduct, sir, and if your mas
ter does not punish you, / shall take
steps to make him and you respect my
authority"
"Ohl be asy o with your authority.
Keep quiet, I tell you. Divil a foot
you'll stir ont of this till the docthur
zones back, and puts you where you
want to be sadly"
"What-what is the meaning of all
this? Don't you know who / am, fell
low, OF are you mad?"
Faith, there's one of us mad, u
enough; an / know you very well, If
that's all that's troubling you"
"You can't know me, or you wouldnt
dare to behave thus to me. / am Lord
Chancellor of Ireland
lord Chancellor? Well, sure you're
welcome home to us,-we have three
or four Lord Clancellors here already.
And the story goes that Sir Edward
Sugden had to submit to the con
trainte par corps,
Patience, perforce, With wilful choler
meeting"
until the return of the proprietor and
manager of the asylum, On hour on two
later; when with some difficulty he es-
tabllshed his identity and sanity, and
was once more q free man.-John O'Con-
nelPs R~ecollections.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-01-30
imaginative Diseases.
Philadelphia Times.

Philadelphia Times.
"a great deal of what passes for heart
disease is mild dyspepsia" said q young
physician yesterday. Nervousness is
IN aristocratic name for irritability and
bad temper and two-thirds of the So
called malaria is nothing but I~aziness.
A fellow practitioner once told me OF
an old lady he knew Of in Newburyport.
Mass. She had kept her bed for three
years and in spite Of her physician's
assurances, she believed herself help
lessly paralyzed. One night her grand
son got up q ghost to scare her and the
old lady ran half q mile before they
could catch her.
"The longer an hallucination is in.
dniged the more deeply rooted In be.
comes. In many cases il ultimately
developes into monomania or delusional
insanity. DR.. s. Weir Mitchell per-
forms many of his most remarkabIa
cures of so-called nervous diseases
simply by his wonderful success in
~persuading patients that nothing on
earth ails them. Few physicians
have the ability to do this and still
fewer have the decretion to adopt a
purse Of treatment adapted to the
mental ~pecularities Of each Particular
case. Sometimes persuasion is neces.
sary, but frequently q little tonic COM
bined with q good scolding produces
the desired result.
"When o delusion is harmless it is
often the best plan to humor it. A rel
alive of mine, who was q clergyman,
lived for several years in my family.
He firmly believed that he could not
sleep after preaching on Sunday night
unless he was put under the influence
of An opiate. Time and again I have
seen him doze OF as soundly as o tired
child after taking q teaspoonful OF
sweetened water, which / prescribed as
'morphia.' Without this harmless lit
tie dose, however, be would toss about
restlessly for hours.
"The negroes indulge in some very
funny superstitions about diseases and
their cures. One of the things
of which they have o peculiar
horror is the common difficulty known as
elongation of the palate. When / was
practising as a newly-fiedged student
in Virginia an old negress called on re
one evening. Her hair was pulled back
from her forehead and knotted with q
cord in q tight bunch on the crown Of
her head. She was evidently suffering
from a bad cold.
Mars DOCTOR she said, Use afraid
Use got fallin' of the palate. Tse done
tied up my harr' as hard as / can, but il
don't pear to make it no better, an ]
'specks mebby / need some pills
II examined her throat and found
nothing the matter but slight infiamma-
tion. l don't think you need any pills,
a~untie,' said I. IF You can only get
your hair tied up a little closer for a day
or two / have no doubt your palate
viii shorten up all right She came
in again in q few days and told me she
was much better, but her 'ole man had
tied her hair so hard that she had had
to sleep with her eyes open, "cause she
couldn't even make q wink.n
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-01-30

A mammoth beehive has been discov.
cred in the bosom of the noted peak
commonly called "Old Badly" in Cali
fornia. The bees at work in this wild
mountain hive are almost innumerable,
and they have a gigantic mountain %
pure honey, which is estimated to b
$50 feet deep and 200 feet wide and o
tains more than five hundred barrels {:
the genuine Article. This Is enough
honey to supply San Bernardino anc
Los Angeles counties for several years.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-01-30

As cold weather sets in. see to il
that your rooms are properly ventilated
that there is an outlet'for the impure
air and on inlet for the fresh.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

DR.. Bulls Baby Syrup is tie remedy for the
baby. 1t is free from landanum. Price 25 cents.
For hogs Days Horse Powder is a necessity !;
l cures swelled necks and ulcers in the lungs.
The sympathy between the stomach and brain
is shown in the headache resulting from indiges-
ton. DIR. Bulls Baltimore Pills cures such head
tho
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06
One day when Mr.. Vance was Governo

One day when Mr.. Vance was Governor
of North Carolina, it is said that he was rid
ing on horseback along a road about ten
miles from the capital when stranger over
took him. The two men fell into converse
ton, and the stranger told Vance he had been
to Raleigh to see the Governor and that he
had called at his house, but that he was not
at home. Odd you see the Governors wife ?"
asked Vance. YES" was the reply. "And
did you not kiss her ?" The man, very much
astonished, replied: mo: but she was very
pretty, and should have liked nothing bet
ter" "Well, I've kissed her." continued
Vance," and l never meet her but that l do
So" And thereupon, after enjoying the mans
establishment for moment, he told him that
he was the Governor.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

Broken down constitutions repaired by TAX
ing DR.. Henley's Celery, Beef and Iron.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

He that thinks himself the happiest man,
really is so; but he that thinks himself the
wisest, is generally the greatest fool.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06
Don't Look Like n Wreck

when man is going down hill everybody $
ready to give him kick" Yes that is so. 1t is
sad, but natural. Why, many man and woman,
hair hadn't been so thin and gray. One bottle of
Parkers Hair Balsam is then the best investment.
1t stops fall hair, promotes new. growth and
restores color. Clean, highly perfumed not a
dye. A great improvement over any similar
preparation, and sold at the low price of SO cents.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

for our Mems and Boys Clothing, will have
scrupulously careful attention, or samples and
rules for sef-meaSurement will be forwarded,
free on application. We will also take care of
your parcels, free of charge, when visiting Bal
timore. Oehm Son, corner Hanover and Pratt
SITS, Baltimore Md
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

When you see counterfeit coin on the
sidewalk always pick it up. You are liable
to arrest if you try to pass it.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06
? A T E N rs

Obtained and all PATENT BUSINESS attended
to for MODERATE FEES.
Our Office is opposite the U. s. Patent Office
and we can obtain Patents in less time than those
remote from Washington.
Send MODEL OR DRAWING. We advise as
to patentablity free of charge; and we make NO
CHARGE UNLESS PATENT is SECURED.
We refer, here, to the Postmaster, the Supt. of
Money Order Dv and to officials of the u S.
Patent Office. For circular, advice. terms and
references to actual clients In your own State or
County write to
G. A. SNOW & CO.,
Opposite Patent Office, WashngtonD. G.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

-"What is the origin of motion?" asked a
celebrated preacher Well, there are many
origins. A call to come up and have drink
will bring so men to their feet in a second,
and spider down a girls back is the origin
of some of the liveliest motion the world ever
saw
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

"A Scotchman, having hired himself to a
farmer, had cheese set down before him
that he might help himself After some time
the master said to him: SANDY, you take a
long time to breakfast" "In troth, MASTER "
said Sandy, "a cheese O this size is nae sac
soon eaten as We may think"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

VIM. Shireman, Esq, Hillsdale Farm, Pa says
he has been using Powell's Prepared Chemicals
forseyeral years and has had as good results from
the S1200 invested for them as from other fertil-
izers costing S35 per ton. In the future will use
Powells exclusively. Address Brown Chemical
Co. Baltimore Md.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

"A Burlington girl has an album in which
are preserved the photographs of all the
young gentlemen who ever flirted with her.
She calls il her "rogues gallery"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

FOUNTAIN GREEN, July 81, 1885.
NesS1S. II. ReckOad d. Sons:
GENTLEMEN.-I have used your Pure Raw
Bone on my wheat and your Bone and Acid
Phosphates on corn with excellent results, and
VIII want 10 or IL tons of your goods for my
wheat this fall. Yours respectfully.
Tau r. John RocRRs
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06

The opportunity of the year. Finest Baltimore
made Mems and Boys Clothing selling at prices
till now unheard of. All the stock left from the
Fire must be sold quickly. Acme Hall, 200 w
Baltimore St., Baltimore.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-06
The Egis & Intelligencer
ALL FOR THE BEST.


There is no shadow, without light;
There is no day, but brings night:
There Is no JOY unmiXod with pain;
There is no sunshine, but after rain;
There is no evil without some good;
No beauty, that is understood.
The heaviest crosses, to our sight,
Are but given to lead us to the light
The darkest clouds have golden edge
And the fairest gardens a thorny hedge;
Some fairest flowers give poisonous breath;
And some deadly poisons save from Death;
Each soul may reach the lowest deeps,
And each soul climb the highest sleeps:
Each heart may know joys brightest glow,
And each, the anguish of darkest Woe;
No battles are won, hut some have fought;
No work is done, but some have wrought;
Cruel words, from the lips, are carelessly tossed,
But no kind word was ever lost.
No heart so true it cannot be tried;
And none so false but some good will abide
There is none so strong that he cannot fall,
And none so evil but may rise from it all.
No soul Ger dropped in the depths of woe,
But might have climbed to the hills of snow;
The best of gold is mixed with alloy,
And the cOarSest metals have some employ;
All things are made for some good use
And nothing so good but may have abuse
God gives us nothing but will do us good,
And our curses seem kindness when understood
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
Reckless Statements.

Newspapers are frequently charged
with making statements without much
regard for truth, and in some instances
the charge is doubtless true, but reckless
as newspapers sometimes are in making
statements it is doubtful if they are as
open to criticism in this respect as are
men who occupy high and responsible
positions, and whose utterances, being
widely published, are not without in
fuence whether true or not.
The statement of Senator Beck, in his
speech in the Senate on Monday, that the
bondholders had captured the admins.
tration and controlled large part of the
press, is not susceptible of proof. The
connection in which he made the state
ment was calculated 10 create the inn
preston that the executive branch of the
government and the PRESS had yielded to
corrupt influences.
Senator Beck is an advocate OF silver
coinage but no newspaper has gone so far
as to charge him with impure motives
because he wants to food the country
with a deprecated currency. He has
been treated as II he were sincere in his
opinions. What excuse, therefore, has he
to offer for charging those who differ with
him, in respect to the advisability of con-
tInuing the coinage OF silver, with being
dishonest in urging a suspension OF that
coinage? 1t is much more probable that
the silver men would use corrupt means
to secure the hind Of legislation they
want, than that those opposed TO fur
ther silver coinage should resort to such
methods to enforce their views, because
they have a great deal more to gain.
The silver interests must be in a bad
way when United States Senator feels
called upon 10 charge that the executive
branch OF the government, controlled by
the party of which he is a conspicuous
member, has been captured by the bond
holders. AS a maker of unwarranted
statements the senior Kentucky Senator
is entitled 20 considerable distinction.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
PERSONAL.

JAMES GORDON BENNETT will remain in
Paris this winter.
TUE late senator Sharon. millionaire. left
only 1850 of personal property.
GEN. SHERMAN and his family are to have
hrstmas reunion In st. LOUIS tins year.
MINISTER PENDLEToN will begin the recep-
IONS at his new home In Berlin on New Years
Day.
VEEDI. while attending the funeral OF the
poet Mafei at Milan, intimated. 70 his friends
that he had completed has opera, "Iago."
AT charity fair in Berlin the Crown
Princess Of Germany has been selling sau-
saqes al iS5 apiece and sponge cake at 81 a
slice.
PROF. Won I0LTZENDoRFF. the great Ger
man iurist, was recently hoDored in Rome by
being placed at dinner at the right of and
next To the Queen.
Mr. Fr0UDE is about to publish volume Of
reflections on q holiday trip through Austria
iia aud America under the title Of "oceana; (;
or, England and her .olonies."
SENATOR CAMERON has just given the Epis-
cOpal cong egatiun at Ste"itou the lot upon
which hrir church is built, besides helping
the congregation in other ways.
LoRD CHARLES THYME. uncle OF the Mar
aus OF Bath, was priest aud canon OF Cam
trrbury Cathedral. He resigned his prefer.
N~t''A WV NeNfA'AAh fAANahAe'As
EX-SENATOR DAVID DAVIS Ia reported 10
h ve prepared volume II Z. emOirs, to be
published AZ er his delth, in which he ma kes
sumc interesting revelations regarding vari-
GUS public personagos In and out OF Congress.
PRINCE PAUL EsgERHAzY engaged in fox
hunt. organized by the Austrian court. a
short time age, and during the chase his horse
ran away wi him, since which lime no trace
has been found Of him The subject is The
prevailing sensation at the Austrian capital.
HENRY PARKNAN sTuRGIs, just elected az n
Liberal from the Tory -hire Of Dorset, is by
birth a B0et0nian. He was taken BY his
father TO England when . boy, where he has
since remained. He Was recently married 20
q daughi er NJ Vise0unt Hampden, late Speak
er of the House Of Commons In the cIn-
eiil luen he now represents he was almost
unknown.
HERMAN MUELLER. an indianapolis mod o.
eler. took cast Of Mr.. Hendricks face after
death. hef0ra a siuhhy heard ~ two days
Rrnwth has been removed. Mr. II II. PARK,
Z Florcnce ana ChicHEn, was inv ted 10 rom-
plrtr q bust Of hrr husband by Mr.. Hen.
dricse. he took a srcoud and unohlceilo {.
nuie cat. Mueller, ID seems, with the AID n
Cluclnuau artist, - at Wgrk on bust also.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
That Sausage.
From Harpsr,s for Lannnrn.

OdftNIfLs
A clergyman in a Southern State was on his
way TO preach funeral sermon. Az ne was
passing The house OF widow lady, n member
of his cungreg atiOn, she ran out and stO ped
him, sa' ing, as they had ju,t slaughtered
their hogs, she had put MP few pounds Of
sausage AS a present. adjing that, as she had
put II ia double paper packets, she thought IL
would not soil his clothes. lie thanked her
earnestly for her kindness. and rode on. bAv-
ing put the parcel in his pocket.
All the time ne was officiating at the grave
large, half starved hound kept snufIinr
around him, sOmetimes approaching alarm-
inRly near. attracted by the scent OF the fre h
meat. As the deceased was a man OF snne
prominence there WAS a considerable crowd
collected. and great mourning and lamenfa-
tion came from the family group 40 no ona
paid any attention 10 the movements of Inc
animal, hut all noticed with concern for he
was beloved By his congrcgatiob-the great
palor OF the clergyman and the beads OF per
apiration standing upon his brow sud thev
began tO whisper to eacn other that Nj. H
must be III.
AZ er the interment they all proceeded N
the church, who're the funeral sermon yas To
be preached. just before entering Mr.. Ill
Turned around to ascertain the wherea nouts
OF his tOrmentoE when oi there he was mar
far from him. hut the crowd prevented hlm
from apiroach hing too closely. just "a thi-
moment ON" one gave the Door ere ttura n
cruel Kick, which sent him on howlinR. Whon
the minister reached his pulpi-one of tbos.
old. fashioned ana RS ascended hy "A sl,o.t ~ ,
hignt OF steps-he breathed M ore 4 eelv H.,
WIS ju & about 10 commence hih duties yrbe',
the sexton, good old man, me uoi.e e..i,,
up the steps with a clip OF paper IN his maud
which ne wished to give TO tie minister. In"
who was unnolccd by that gentleman. tho. "a
seen bv all the congregation. lie pentlv
twitched his coat attract his attention A
thrill OF horror passed over tho unhRpny
preacher 1t the dreadful thought thai tbe
dog had entered unseen In the crowd a,'d
was now about 90 take forcible o sseasioio 80
the sausage before the whole assembIy. -
hoping 20 drive him away, he Kicked bart
cautiously but vigorously. and struck the olJ
man in the breast, who rolled down tho etens
Seeing the look of surpriee and AlAr an H..
faces Of the aud ence, he -tammored ont Win
crimson lace: Il must explain 10 5ou nv
brethren, what must seem my intampcrst.
conduct. friend came out 10 me- A. / va
passing her house, with a small packaa" 1f
sausage for me 10 carry home in NV no'tet.
but ever since ! dismoun I'D from nv hor.s
this old dog"-ponting behind 10 the pros 'iatc
sexton, bat without looking round-@hss he
following me, and at ie 9Th came into ~,
pulpit, and has been tuRginE nt my coat 49,
tefnined - Rct the saus lge from nv moo M 20
A. this mo nont the sexton, a little sfur,.a
and iit le hurt, arO from the noor. and IN.
minister AZ Flanee tonk 10 all In. -fatsd
Wildly ht HIN, took drink OF wHter tuq,,-t
very pale. md sat dova, overwhelmed ,sitb
conformation. Wv"