Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-08-05
RED NOSES.
There Are Four Kinds, but Only One
Sure Remedy.

Many gentlemen of correct habits and
proper morals, who are members of the
Young Mems Christian Association and
sympathize with the prohibitionists, are
afflicted with carmine-tipped noses of SO
brilliant a lustre as to drive the casual
observer to the conclusion that they are
dissipated and abandoned reprobates
Nothing can be more disheartening to a
man whose principles have led him to
abstain totally from all Intoxicating
liquors than to be pointed out as horri-
BILE example to the rising generation in
the streets, only because an inscrutable
Providence has bestowed on him a red
nose. One of these unfortunate individ-
uals, driven no doubt to desperation by
the scorn of the temperate man and the
jibes of the small boy whom he meets
upon the thoroughfares of the metropolis,
yesterday advertised as follows in daily
paper:
A liberal reward will be paid for remedy
that will cure red nose on person of good
habits.
DR.. William Stevens, OF No. % West
Thirty-first street, was questioned upon
these phenomena by reporter OF the
4 tUtto. lNCNt llObCSy ceiiO bAlC PLlN SlSi1ii,
"may be divided into four classes. There
is the whisky red nose, which is often
cultivated by its owner with as much
pride and attention as he devotes to the
coloring of his meerschaum pipe. Some
men are proud of red noses just as others
are Of black eyes-artifcially black-but
these persons are not ornaments TO society
morally any more than they are physic.
ally, as a general thing. OF course, the
only kind of remedy for this kind of red
nose is to abstain from the use of alcoholic
beverages. 1t all depends upon whether
young man will sacrifice his appetite to
his appearance. The second class OF red
noses--the kind of nose that may be
associated with the features of a gentle
man who does not use liquors. produced
by embolism that is, by the stoppage on
obstruction of bloodvessels in the end OF
the nose, causing the blood to remain
there This may be cured by pricking
with long needles and letting the blood
out. Does it hurt? Oh, no, of course
not; it's very pleasant operation, like
pulling teeth.
"The third class OF red nose may be
called the cancerous diathesis nose which
is caused by the cancer, and can only be
cured by the cure of the cancer. The
fourth class of these red noses-the red
nose that is most common to men and
women OF good habits, as the gentle
man who advertises says-is the red nose
produced by superficial capillary circula-
ton in the veins and arteries just below
the surface of the skin These arteries
are so minute in their normal condition
that they will not receive the red cor
puscles in the blood, and therefore no
redness is appreciable when the arteries
and skins are healthy. The redness is
caused by disorganized condition of the
capillaries. The minute veins become
enlarged and the red corpuscles are adj
mitted and show through the skin. The
only cure for these noses is climate, diet,
and exercise regulation of the system.
Some people whose noses are red in New
York would find them the color of the
rest of their skin in Florida or at the
North Pole, and the people whose noses
are red in those places might find them
cured in climate like this. The only
sure way to cure any red nose is to adopt
the plan of the gentleman mentioned by
Sam Weller, who cured his little boy of
squirting by cutting his head of."-N.
J. Times.