Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-01-25
WHERE NATURE DRAWS THE
LINE
According to the Philosophy of a Red
faced Nap with a Much favored Pig.
Veto York Sun

According TO the RniiOsOpbY OF a fSe6-
faced Nap with Much-favored Pig.
.Nete York Sun.
''If 1 hain't got Pig in this box that's
got four eyes, with two ~ EN- lookln|
crosswavs the slickest kind, Besides hav
in such incidental attractions as flght
legs. four ears and two tails, Pll make
YOU philOpeny present of it. It's right
in this box, along with its four eyes, eight
legs, four ears, two tails, and all. Ii any
of you ladies and gentlemen has got 5
cents worth Of curiosity you can get rid
of it by walkin' rightup and SEEM wheth.
er I've got this pig hid in this box, or
whether | ought to 60 back to my native
hills a branded prevaricatOr. Five cents,
ladies and gentlemen. Half q dime"
The speakers face was very red and his
voice very husky. 1t was cold day at
the corner of Minetta lane and Sixth ave-
nue.. but the red-taced owner OF the four
eyed pig was airiIy clad. 1t wac painful
" apparent that if he had found many D.
cent blocks of curiosity lying around
loose in his travels, he had utilized them
in getting something warm inside instead
of outside. The audience grouped about
him and his box was small. 1t was prodi-
gal in attention, but in the matter OF curl
Osity seemed to have a frugal mind.
'Perhaps, ladies and gentlemen said
the red-faced man, you do not wish TO
see this pig with four eyes, two of 'em
crossed, because of lingerin' fear that
I'll play a glass eye or two on you. Far
from it. Every one of them four eyes is a
simon-pure up-and-upper, an if there's a
glass one among 'em you can have it for a
watch charm. If you hain't aVOidin' the
rush on account of glass eyes, maybe it's
wooden legs you're suspectin'. Ladies
and gentlemen, DO l look like man that
would fit wooden legs to a touT-eyed pig,
81
as a moral show! Do thank you. Pass
your eyes right in there, sir"
The red-faced man drew up slide at
one end of the box. A Sun reporter
dropped his eyes to the opening it left.
The fcur-eyed pig was there, sure enough.
It was preserved in a half-gallon jar OF
spirits. Its appearance justified the de
scription Of its owner.
you've got the pig" said the reporter,
"but it seems to me 1t would suit the pub
lie better if it was alive"
$50 it would the pig, l s'pose," said the
red-faced man, as he showed down the
slide. But then" said he, 1--WE can't ex-
pect that natures g0in' TO give us every
thing. If she's kind enough to give us
twice as many legs and eyes and ears as
she gives to anybody else we Oughtn't to
kick because she forgot the little matter
of putting breath into us. Nature Is kind,
A pig with as many extras as this ones
got ought to be thankful TO be rid of the
trouble that his two-legged and twO-eyed
brothers, burdened with life and big APP
petite for swill, has got to tumble into"
''Where was this fortunate pOrker
born? p asked the reporter.
"Pennsylyapy." said re red-faced man,
"and If hadn't been lookin' round for
GOOD farm to buy and settle down on,
drSf nd i'm in
Northampton county. 'm0ngst the Penn
sylvany Dutchmen. Last summer Farmer
William Kohler found on his farm a corn
stalk that was II feet inches high, and
potato vine feet 4 inches high, and
raised patch of raspberry vines that bad
bushes feet inches from root to tip. He
raised the price of his farm $50 an acre,
because 1t could grow such rippin'
things. A man came along and had al
most bought Kohler's farm, when what
does Peter Schweizer, another farmer, do,
but come to the front with a cOrnstalk IA
feet inches high, with three full-groWn
ears of corn or it 9 feet from the ground,
each ear 10 inches long. Schweizer's farm
went up $50 an acre, and the man that
was goin' to buy Kholer's place froze on
to SchWeiZers. Farmer Davy Frey got
jealous at this. He couldn't lind no giant
corn nor potatoes nor raspberries on his
his land. was loOkin' round to buy
snug farm just then, and heard that Frey's
place could be bought way below what
his neighbOrs asked. l skipS over, and
what does l find but his nibe dancin'
round with his farm marked way up above
SchweiZer's.
"'How's this, Davy?' 1 says.
elbows this p he says. They can have
their big 'tater vines and cornstalks,' he
says, but have they got the farm thapll
turn out eight-legged pigs, with four ears
aud two tails, and four eyes, and two eyes
crossed at that? II they have says
Davy, then they can ask as much
tor their land as L can for mine, says he.
"Whewp says; is your farm dom
pigs like thatr
"'One come last night says he.
"'Then, gpOse. you won't take SIX
thousand for the place? says.
"'Ten theusandT says he.
"'Davy,' l says, Epl give you seven
'Pve told you my pr1es. Ten or moth
in!
"'Pn give you eight says.
'Ten,' says he.
"Pn give you nine,' says; and that's
"9Ten thousand dellars,' says Davy,
'and not AGENT less, buys the eight-legged-
pig farm
$50 walks away. got piece down
! the road, and then somethin' struck me
! TO 90 back and give Davy another hack.
led him out behind the COW house and
says:
"'Davy,' says 1, will you take 80 cents
for the eight-legged pig?
she thought minute and then says:
Eyes, by gum, will says he.
"And that's how l got this fOur-eyed
pig with eight legs, four ears, and two
tails, with two eyes crossed, that Fve got
hid away in this box, ladies and gentle
men Don't crowd, please! You can all
see il for half q dime"
HORsFORD'S ACID PHOSPHATE
In Debility from OverwOrk.
DIR. G, w. Collins, Upton, Ind, says:
81 used IL In nervous debility brought on
l.. ..-..--.l.-1- l.. -n..rn rroofhnr rrriAh rad