Weston weekly leader. [volume] (Weston, Umatilla County, Or.) 1878-189?, 1885-06-19
MILTON COMMUNICATION.
MILTON, Oregon, May oath, 1885.

AlLlON, OTeSoh, MAY Zflu, 1000.
Two recent issues of the Pendleton
E. q. seem to have been converted into
matrix, SO to speak, and "Horace" via
"Shortfellow'' have punctured it most
unmercifully Positive Horace and su.
perlative Shortfellew!
Touching McDannolds and joys af-
fairs ever in or about Helix, there are
seemingly a goodly number of asses who
90 as their lawyer (alias the editor Of the
aforesaid E. o. tells them. Forsooth,
"a thing of beauty is Joy forever"
How ecstatic is their hugglng Of the
"thing" Is evinced by the great array of
talent employed to air their stupidity.
We of Milton can't be responsible for
their dumbness, or the contemplate
bulbs might be replanted.
The late heavy dews invigorated all
other green things. Perhaps Killian,
Joy ct al reviviGed. We, however,
don't believe that Killlan and ''Short-
fellow" said that "crossed warrant
would SO 'sstir the bowels Of Vansycle
jurisprudence as to cause relapse of
the 'rejudicata' in the 'reasjesta' Of
Clark, Horace and JOY" We think
that was canard Of premature birth,
and may haye-died in embryo, but was
stuffed for exhibition in burlesque. We
caught the report here before it had full
ly developed its tentacles, and smother
ed 1t with demurrer dismissed it, SO
speak, for want of prosecution, and
taxed the costs to McGinnis and his
bloody deputies.
We do think Though, over here in
| Milton, that from what we've learned,
| if those 'babes in the woods invade our
courts again with such ground upon
which to issue a warrant of distress and
restraint against deputy McGinnis and
his confederates in crime, there'n be a
perihelion in the subtransit of Horace
across the disk of joys diaphragm in
| juxtaposition to Clark, and Killian
rounding up on the Shortfellow about
the time he is laying ''Wager" on
joys left ventricle-not that we have
any loose aspersions to waste on that
Vans ycle, or any other sickly commits
sion, but that we nave drawn eur
''Hcrace" scope, arranged the sand s
and laid our astrolabe across the COM
pass, and find the parallox to Indicate
that same without the least stretching.
A prominent Walla Walla Barister
as report has it, told Clark (another
prominent lawyer and supreme manda-
mus of Vansycle Division) that by
sprinkling just little salt on the sylla-
bus OF either of those Milton courts,
their judgments couldn't be affirmed,
reversed or vica versa; and that Van.
sycle Canyon properly astride Helix
would be the "Mens Consciarecti" to
all intents and purposes. Clark told
Horace, and Horace thinks it means
that Milton is q suburb of Vansycle,
properly translated. But it doesn't
mean any such thipg-such construc-
tion would be perfectly ignominious
and an overt action against the classics
1t means this: Clark ct al land Others
fold your weapons, pat your tents in
your hip pocket, HE you to your city
Of Vansycle, tie your pruning hook to
ploughshare, and tell Shortfellow, e,
al, and those other fellows who fell
short to mind their own business.
This is only preface to some learned
remarks we're going to promulgate
/ sooner or later. unless you accept oul
apology right now.
We know volume Of dastardly NEAR
things about you fellows and can man
| ufacture a condemned signt more ant
worse enes, and are just cranky enough
to so prostitute our talents and abus,
| our education, as it were, and yeu',
: better stand from under or you'll fee
a something drop. MILTON.