davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-09-06

sales 1880 bales.
Liverpool.

LIvERrooL, Sept 5.-spot closed lrm, de-
mand light.
Ordinary II led good ordinary II led low
middliug O. 6d middlng uplauds I'l6d;
middling Orleans sd
Total sales, 5000; American 1900.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-09-06

Drnga--l3ark, cinnamon per p lzci PERUVIAN
75ca II 90; boFhx. lgc. Bl-carisonaie Of soda,
English e.. Coppcras, Sasc Cincblpedla, per
or ,ssas Sc CASTLE soap, per D. 100 ice. Cream
tartar G. A.. per n, 4se4sc. thalk. lump, per
d 2aac Calomel, r. Il W., ia SIC English,
pcr n, bottle included, 81 o0at 10 ChlSrat
hydrate. per n. 81 5Oal 10. Chlsroform, per n
bottle Included s5d a0' ConlpOs iiOn powdeF. per
y -. Doyers per n. 81 20. hps0m salts, par
n, sa4le Gum opium, per y. 81 s5ai ~. onm
eataphor per n, bic. Morphne, per "a, - iDs
- Oh, castor, machine, pasOc OIL castor,
,,cr gallon 81 ~; oil, lard, Ninter stra.Anad. e5A
s5c OIL, lard. No. !, D0c. Nniylne, y. A W. per
~ sOc Flowers sulphur. 80 nc, Alum, slSsc.
Prostitution Walls, BY sare Is per cent. oc
broken, - per cent. on, show casa, list price,;
Rebate patent medlclses, at ilss. ihayets flnid
EXTRACTS. 20 per ee.il. on. j. ID linid Extracts,
bistemper Co.ors-Ifory drop black. nc, raw
Turkey umbe., gsc; burnt Turkey lumber, ~
raw Italian sienna, Zbci burnt Italian sienna
70 yandJke brown, &c,
Paints - strictly pTre white leAd. lps<15c
spirits tuTpen,lns, 50a5Sci boiled oll' osSe5c.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-09-06
.quare or Dad I. yelIow plne DO 3. IAlh. soa

Z 70.
Lime. Cement. etc.--I.imc, Austin. 81 per Dbl
cement. Louisville or Rosanals. ysT5 per Dbl.
Portland s. per hill plaster paris, New York
or Michigan, "a per Dbl. plaster hair G5c bu
Brick-frc.p proof T.50pcr ~
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-09-06

urday, Aug. 20, according To the New York
Chronicle, Is rs follows
Total supply to-day ,t,+..,,.,,.,...,.. l,l3s,2i2
same day last year. AZ, 6I3
Difference, decrease. ..-.........t.... GA,t
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-09-06
Chicago.
f!hoDuCE.

|Icn y. AAOnlCE.
az. 49, sept 5.-Flour-Quict and
,lS VssHed steady, lc under Yesterday.
'nl ,sll,. slgns Of heaylness. sold of ne
Setls,stp Y and closed lie under YES.
h ma ,,aa hss ~ I7ic, closing al j69c /:
1 4 elosin,V, closing at ISL; November.
AZ so May s95a9lc. closing
! u aa.I and higher on frost rcnor,s ana
ian v.Meslern fields, closine Ia 10
ni6 ss.rrlay cash 4ilGl4ic; Sen.
\ i.ls Closing i4ic, October 4sa42fc
s, saer, S9Edt0ao, closlng 4Olc.
likhc,. !, under firm demand and clos.
ASyeSnsa,sssAsh - e06s IS; Octnher' cIosed
>sls.dooet closed s. slI 0'''NN
'ns IA cash and October 50 2Sa6 s7l I:
pa. sh.rl rib IS %; short clear
's-ipsvlrnal reports
|.sus q ~ ~, sV2 slow and steady, shin.
kN: Wes %; etockers ma feedera
n sls3 "a. putis and mixed a lOa 4 10,
no NJ through TEXAS cattle sjow
|it,krcsaestern rangers stsaIv. na,ives
n 'sa' $ aQaS g; wint ss TsNsu us
''p''' 500 opened strong, Du,
''''@ q rs ssiii O 8 steady natives. 81 1Ss
New York
A.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-09-06
Hardware.

Bar iron, $500, Norway So, No. 9? sheet iron
4ic, No. y G sheet iron. iic, galvanized sheet
iron 9d9ic, No. sod lie, No. do. l5lc .0y2s
roofing tin liicdl5c, l4N2O and lONl4 pat. do.
7I5ds.50, timers wire 30 per cent, of, timers
stock, 40 per cent. of, cook stoves with ware
l0.50d25.0O, do. with trimmings ll.50d5O0o
Wood Work-Wagon aNles gOc.a}l 90,
tongues 00cldSl 90, slDRletreos 81 70, holsters
soc, spokcs ~ 75G3 90, feloss 81 75d2 ~.
doubletrces, So 95@i 90, neck yokcs II 5od2 80,
pillow beams 50d65c, pillow handles, II T5a9 80
Mails 90 kcg. basis l0d.-Burden hors shoe
per kcg, . %. Perkins do, 5 ~, Walker do so.
burden mule %, Northwestern horse shoe
nails No. Z, soc, No. o. 26c No, 0. BE- No. 7, 2lc,
No g. 2Oc. "I.ake's" do No. 4, i5c, No, 5, 25c, No
o, 22c, No I. zoe, No. 3. lpc; Ausablc do, No,
T. 4jc No. 8, 2ic, No o, 2lc, No. Z, l9c No. s. lsc
Refrigerators.-No. Climax II 90, No. :, do,
Is 80, No. $ do, %, No. do, a, 40. 9, do. 3D.
Miscelaneous--Trace chains, No. 2, per pair,
4Oc pillow englctrees, per dok.. e 70. pillow
doubletrees, per dor. s. 90; stock bells, 80 per
cent on door locks, s. 2ja9 90; wood screws
so and Oper cent. off l.. +. cast door butts, 20
and 10 per cent of; cut and timed tacks, 40
per cent of coffee mills, 40 per cent. OFF blind
hinges, 80 aud 10 per cent of carriage bolts, IS
and 10 per cent of pillow bolts, 80 per cent, of I;
piece tin ware, 30 per cent. Offi deep stamped
ware, 80 per cent. on; shallow stamped.ware, 20
fter cent off.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-09-06

Twelve months clip, light, line aud medium
Ildl7c; llne heavy to light. la lac: six
months light, me to medi S loadiSs; iall, nhe
coarse, Sal2c.
HIldes-No. flint. dry, Ion and upward, per
~! "a l5c; No. nint, dry, per n lSc; No. light
per h Sc calf skns and BADLY damage per
b. tate; green, saitel. sound per D ~
butchers green, per n &c
PclfrtPs Deer skins. per n l2a!lr; an'0'0
skins =. . ~ ;Pca. sk!ns cacG iV'g-s'e ,sde
pelts, ,'s-.rsi.' ~ ar3.r. o. wool. eoc u
shear -. - Lax 10 amount OF wool, oa 70
MeNl a.i sneep pelts SalOc; Mexican she
pelts, Improved, !laisc; Mexican sheep shei
llnxa Sc
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-09-06

l0Rg A. fRoDuCR.
~ '--FlOar-Heavy and shade
'p'lons closed steady; No. 2
, 1885-06-27

Mr.. Ellis Ashmead Bartlett, Civil
Lord Of the Admiralty.
The Chief Secretaryship OF Ireland,
after being offered to five persons,
was finally accepted by Sir VIM. Hart
Dyke.
Mr., Gladstone, referring to his
promised influence with his party, re-
serves to himself full liberty of action
in any new matter that may arise, but
he will support the Government in
the ordinary business of the session.
Paris news states that the Govern
ment have decided to give the late
Admiral Courbet a state funeral.
London, June 24th.-Sugar in stock
on the goth inst, was 311 900 tons,
last year $4,000 tons
New York, June Oath.
Flour per bril-, st. Lawrence brand, $50.
Meal. best Brandywine,pe bril-, 81 to J
Fl M. Pork, per bbl., 153.
New Seasons Pork per brl. $11 to LIZ.
Crystals per. ID 81
Sugar. Fair to good refining per h.,
(58 to3,
Molasses, 500 test, zoe.
Exchange, New YORK and London S4.S43.
London, June Oath.
Demerara Crystals per cwt Ell Is.
Cd.
Sugar Muscovado per cwt., go 15s Sd.
Clayed Havana, No. IL, ahoat.
go It's Cd.
Demerara Rum per gallon, Is. Sd.
Trinidad Cocoa per cwt. fl Is Od.
Consols, 99a to 5.
Bank of England Rate of Discount, 2p.ct.
Liverpool Cotton Middling upland per Id,
81.
Three per cent Rentes in Paris, Fcs. 81,5O.
, 1885-06-27

The little war in Canada has ended
in the complete victory Of the Domi-
Mon Government. The Indians look
ed 10 the half breeds for blight and
leading" and upon Riers capture
Poundmaker offered terms. They
were bIuntIy refused, and he was re-
quired TO surrender Lnconditiona'ly.
lie accordingly came in on the 26th
with thirty other chiefs, and WAS,
with seven OF his companions, i'm
prisoned, they having been guilty of
murder. The remaining chiefs were
sent back to the reserve, with instruc-
tions TO report themselves once a
week till further orders; and the re-
hellion is over, probably Tor ever, as
the completion Of the Pacific Railway
now expected in a few weeks, will,
bring clouds of settlers. The Domi.
MON is greatly pleased with the
affair, which has enabled Mr.. A. T.
Caron, Minister of Militia, to display
both his energy and his power of or
ganisation, and indeed, both are cre-
ditable to him. He venfured, like the
earlier officers of the American CO.
%lon,es, L rely upon volunteers, and
found their courage and dash quite
perfect; while as against undrilled
men, their training was sufficient.
We hope, however, that lerity will
be shown to the indians, who. though
announcement, have rights, Il +
, 1885-06-27

compel the Police to call upon the
soldIery. The popular temper has
not risen yet, however, for the Mu-
nicipality ON Wednesday accepted
a mild resolution condemning the
Police for "vioIence"by only Sc votes
to Is. Had the people been excit ed
the vote would have been so TO IL,
and the police would have been de.
clared "murderers."
The Paris correspondent of the
Times, who is a clever man, with a
weakness for pretending omniscience,
processes to know all that passed in
the recent interview between Prince
Bismarck and Lord Rosebery. Ac-
cording TO this account, the German
Chancellor was as brutalIy "frank" az
usual, and gave Lord Rosebery three
distinct sIaps in the face. He told him
ti,at the English must quit Egypt,
where they had 'raised the most for
midable difficulties and caused the
most bitter receptions" and Egypt
must be neutralised "under a strong
and popular Khedive,' probably
Hahn, the French nominee. The
Suez Canal must be internationalis-
ed and confdcd to the Khedive,
England having only ga p%reponde-
rance in maintaining the indepen-
dence" of that waterway. Moreover,
Russia must not be ''strangled" in
Asia, and Germans must be allowed
elderly and equality" in commercial
competition with EngIishmen. 1t is
difficult TO understand what object
Prince Bismarck can have in thus
avowing hostility to Great Britain,
which by passively supporting an
alliance between France and Russia,
could bring "unnumbered woes"
on Germany; and the narrative has
evidently, rs indeed the Times admits,
been largely coIoured by French
influence. 1t begins to he evident,
however, that Prince Bismarck is
savage with disappointment at SOM
thing Mr.. Gladstone has done-it
may be with the peace-and is not
dlsIncllned to risk a quarrel with his
Government TO crafty his enmity.
That is not craftsmanship, even if he
thinks Lord Salisbury would make
All alliance. with him. He is making
the quarrel popular in England, add
alliance imnosSihla
, 1885-06-27
MiSceLI ~ % u 8.
lSpeCtGtOr MAJ I6thl

Serious riots occurred in Paris
n Sunday and Monday. A crowd OF
Anarchists were attending the tune
raj of one Of their number, VI.
Gourmet, in the cemetery Of Pere
Lachnise on Sunday. when an inspec-
tor OF police asked them TO put
away their red flags. They refused
and in the consequent scuffi" the po-
lice were so severely handled that it
became necessary to charge the mob
with The bay onet, No u was killed,
but a number of mourners were in
iured, and on Monday the Anarchists
made another procession TO the &C.
metery. The police had orders to
tolerate banners, but not flags; but
the Anarchists, some OF whom were
armed with revolverS, deied the or
ders. The police did not att'ck a%aaln,
and the day passed off quietly;
tie temper of the Extreme Party
was very bad, and they declared IN
all their papers that the people had
been massacred, and they threaten
that on Monday next, when all Paris
will attend the funeral OF Victor Hugo
il the Pantheon, they will display
the red flag and take the consequent
ces. Fortunately, The number OF
troops under arms will be large, as
the chamber has voted that t he tune
raj shall be u public one
There is no evidence that the great
body of workmen desire a collision
with the authorities. They are not
Anarchists, aud have recently re-
fused to send Anarchists delegates TO
international meetings. The Cham
Der, too, supports the Government;
and in an Order of the pay, passed
on Tuesday, by 3SS votes TO 1O-ihe
Extreme Left not voting-has exhort.
edit tobe firm, aud 'make the nation
al flag respected; but the situation
is difficult. The Anarchists provoke
armed attack; but a, the same time,
the Government, though it must
maintain order, does not want either
to shed blood or TO lose the votes of
the Ultras just before the General
Election. There. is no knowing how
the populacc of Paris will act If any
one is killed; yet the Anarchists may
, 1885-06-27

OFT MOO Ill Is uiACidily
announced that the Cholera has brok-
en- out in the provinces of Valencia,
Murcia, Castellon and in Madrid
quarantine established against Spain
on all vessels leaving there after the
ist instant.
New York, June 22nd. The "PaII
Mall Gazette" in an editorial, says
that nothing but Mr.. Gladstone's re-
turn to power can break the Mniste-
rial deadlock, but other reports assert
that the Conservatives will certainly
accept.
1t is universally considered that the
question of the Coercion act is dead.
Paris dispatches state that the let
ters of the late Admiral Courbet,
which have just been published, sa-
vagely attacked M. Ferry.
The Chamber of Deputies has pass
ed the Recruiting Bill.
M. Vernon, a Conservative, has de-
tented the Republican candidate for
the vacant Senatorship.
@AOFlCCS IOOCltCu III AOIlUVA 10
port that a lieutenant cf the Indian
Army has ascertained that it is per-
tectly feasible to land an army in
Beloochistan, from which point it
would ensily reach Herat.
Barbados, 22nd June.--LadyRObin-
son was safely delivered of a son on
the 2Oth.
New York, 23rd June.-It is an
nounced that Mr.. Gladstone, having
promised to use his influence against
the factions Of the Opposition, the
Marquis of Salisbury has finally &C.
cepted the Premiership. The Cabi-
net is formed as previously telegraph
ed with the exception of the follow
ing appointments, namely
Sir Hardinge S. Clifford to be
Lord High Chancellor; Viscount
Crnnbrook, Lord President Of the
Council; the Earl of Harrowby,
Lord Privy Seal the Ri. Hon. W.
H. Smith, Secretary for War; Mr..
Arthur Baltour, President of the
Local Government Board; the Duke
of Richmond and Gordon, President
of the Board Of Trade; the Hon.
Edward >tanhope, Vice. president of
the Council. The minor appoint
ments have not yet been announced.
The "Daily News" in an editorial
commenting on the accession of the
Conservatives to power, believes that
no specific promise has been given,
but that Mr.. Gladstone has merely
agreed not to use the great strength of
the Opposition mercilessly.
Paris news states that the Chinese
treaty OF peace has been submitted to
the Chamber of Deputies. It definite
ly recognizes French Supremacy in
Amman.
The Budget Committee has approx
cd the grant of twelve millions OF
francs for the despatch OF three thou
sand men to Madagascar.
1t ia announced that the kalser'S
grandson, Prince Frederik William,
will succeed the deceased Baron Man
teufel as Governor of Alsace-Lor-
~osuo
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
ROCK. ARK, U. s. A. SATURDAY, il. 1885

was at work. Mir. Hogan showed him how to handle the cards.
 About an hour later. Mir. Jiblin arose, He had won two hundred dollars
 "GSod day, gentlemen, said he, "Mr, Hogan for such will continue to call you, although soon discovered that you were assuming the name Of another man --i am much obliged for the amusemen, you have afforded ne. The heather was in pretty bad fix before he met you, but he Is pretty we'll heeled now, thank you. IL may not interest you, Mir. Bogus Hogan, but before joined the church l was professional gambler on the Mis-. sissippi river. Good day penitents, so long"
 Mr, J,blin's congregation heard oi the aifIir, but as the minister had been su 5. eessiuI, instead of being victim, he was not taken to task.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11

be baptized. He said dat he wuz bap- tized when he 'longed ter anuder church, but dat doan free dis heah church rum CT awful 'sponsioility.'
 ''I opposed the motion. told them that had already been baptized, and fl they insisted upon rebaatism, would go quietly away and join church where the brethren would have more faith in my intentions.
 "This remark had no effect. They tho ught it was their duty to baptire me, and without further ceremony and de- spite desperate resistance, l was led straightway down into the water, soused time or two and brought str aightway out of the water. Twas a pitiable object. The burnt cork came of in streaks. When they discovered that they had been deceived they opened fresh crate of yellow dogs an! " the company had dispersed. The Hon. Simon Haimon after lamenting the untrustworthiness of man, and after telling the bartender that the last round" was Ion the other fel- lows" solemnly strode away.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
PROTECTED HIMSELF.

"l am no, much given to practical joking" said the Hon Thomas pealrinR, addressing hiS wife, bal the gro that visits our wood-pilc tonight will wish that he had shivercd tn honesty rather than have attempted to warm hlmself by theft"
 Why, rhomas'"
 its father sH oId .;;rk has !. !. .esy effective. For some time | have noticed that our wood has been stolen. l know the theives and have hAcd iot them. They are part al to the wool tha, Is al. ready chopped. Naturally so, for the noise oi chopping |, would arouse sus- pieion. Well this evening, bored a hole in A stick, pu, In q handful ol pow. der, drove in a plug and smtmed Ii with mud to conceal the h.ck II you should hear lot Of pots and kettles AYing through the air tonight, don, be alarmed"
 Thomas. that's cruel"
 Yes, but i's Isl My wood, you un. derstAnd. They me not compelled to take Il, don, you sec f'
 Mr fealtlng went out 10 the woodplle. Soon returning silh sn armtul of wood, he put A stick in the stove and said
 "Oh they ve got It. Bt like trout"
 Thomas, didnt know you were % mean"
 ' That's al! right. I've got right to protect my own property Lets go and ct lunch"
 They went into the dining. room and were devoting themselves to cold ham and pleasan, conversation. when tstri6c explosion shook the house. 4 large fragment Of cast iron crashed its whiFling way through the room, and then, almost before the awful affair could be realized, the house was on fire.
 The 6remen did theiF work sell and an experienced man said th l, the cellar was practically unlDjured. The Hon. Thomas and his wife have taken up their quarters at A cheap boarding house. RemoTseiui, and wiser, the honorable gentleman de- clares that never again will he descend to the low grade of practical joker. He had put the loaded stick in his own stove
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
A PRACTICAL MAN.

A ia, old man who should have known better, dragged himself up three long flights of stairs and entered an editorial room.
 "Whew Coming up these stairs makes me blow," he said.
 "Yes," the editor ,eplied. "Wha, can do for you 2''
 The old fellow laughed AS he took a small piece of paper from tin spectacle case. Here's something that l jo,ted down." he said. "You needn't put my laughed hear,ily-"my name to it"
 The editor took the scrap ot paper and read the following:
 "' If a war should sc .uf between Eng land and Russia ii will be a Wall stree, affair Between the Bull and the lieAk.
 "Wall street will have nothing 10 do with it," said the editor.
 "Oa, don't you seel It is pun that 1 made up myself
 "No, l don't see. It appears to read all right though ii there were really any thing of 1t the telegraph would have"
 Hand i, herei' The old fellow snatched his contribution and lugged himself down stairs.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
JAIL RELIGION.

A man who was under the sentence ol death, sat in his cell singing "I would not live alway." A negro in another cell, being disturbed by the plaintive song, called {:
 "Say, kain't yer let up on dat singin' CT while5 We boys in heah is got CT little game on ham but de way yessef is car- ryin' on, a pusson doan know whether ter fling his jedgmen. on de ten spot UT de ace"
 "I would not live alway," sang the doomed man, paying no attention to the negro.
 "Nor, sab, it do peer dat way. 1 heard lem say dat yer want gwine ter be wid us much longer"
 "I ask not to stay" continued the condemned man, singing in pitiful strain.
 "Nor, sah, an it show yer good sense, bercase da wouldn' let yer do it. Takin' all things un'er 'sideration, cap'n, ! reckon yer'H halter leabe us."
 The sheriff came in. The murderer stopped singing. The gamblers put their cards aside. A door grated. Numerous feet "skufied upon the paved floor. A trap fell. He would not live aIwzy.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
NO SHOW.

An old negro applied 10 lawyer. "Wha, can 1 do tor you. old man v asked the attorney.
 :" wants ter fetch suit aein de New nited States, sah."
 "Well, state your cssef ["
 "My son, Andy, fell inter de nbber an wuz drownded, sah."
 "The government has nothing to do with that"
 "De debil 1t ain't Doan de guberment own de nber f''
 "Thai makes no difference"
 "Waii. doan gi, CT psGsIon 7"
 "No."
 "Doan gi, er nickel z"
 "Not a cent"
 [" Boy dun drown 3ed, too?'
 SYes."
 "Uh, hah. Want tes know wha. thinks O dis dis eoustryY'
 Not particular.
 Nor, sah, Teckons not Dis eoun- try is CT raskii, ssh, das's whut it is. an' more den dat. l bIebc dat ii hsb dun 'ployed yesssf in dis cass,' and. as he went out, he added; Man sin't got no show in his own country. Dat white man makes me sz mad q e fool."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
UNROMANTIC.

ooh, sir" said the faded poe,ess, ad- dressing the editor, if do not write, the rocks will cry out?
 "That so?"
 "Yes, if l do not write the rocks will cry out"
 "Now, I'll tell you If were you, I would let 'em CT, a little. Won't hurt em, few tears won't. Might do 'em good"
 "You are as cold as stone," she said.
 Yes, that's fact, but l shall not cry out should you fail to write. Miss Presuming in me to call you miss5"
 "I am unmarried, sir"
 Divorced, seer"
 "l was never married, sir"
 "Then how could you be unmarried ? We'll, it makes no difference. desire to tell you something. was once light hearted, gushing and joyous. Why did I fall from that joyous estate? lwrote poetry. fel; surging ~ithin me. knew it was a muse. The doctor said tha, was bilious, but knew better. wrote a poem and neglected the bile. Now, you see me the wretch that am. Oh, had 1 served my bile as have my muse"
 "You are fool" said the faded wo- man, arising.
 "Yes, an a fool. Should have known better. will never do it again"
 "Do what"
 "Fail to lock the door when hear gentle footsteps, soft and low"
 Her skirts popped as she fitted through the door.
 "Well, colonel" said the editor, ad- dressing a man whom he saw standing in an adjoining room. "Teli the fellows to come on, and we will continue the game, fifty cents ante"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
A GREAT DIFFERENCE.

Why do you desire divorce ?" asked the chancery judge.
 "Well," replied the man from the mountains, @because me an the old wo- man cast get along together. She be- longs to one church an belong to an- other"
 "A religious incompahbility, I sup. pose"
 aYes, l reckon that's it"
 "You don't agree in your religious ideas"
 SNo, sah." @Give me an example"
 Wei, tuther day shot Ham Bales. lshot him with rife. Wife she lowed that if had belonged to her church would have shot him with a pistol l inov that am right for don't want to tAke no chances"
 The case has been taken under advise
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
4 LEGAL EXCUSE.

"Hays you spy exeuser asked the judge of man who had been summoned on the jury.
 1Yss, sir, my wife is sick.'
 Mot legal excuse. We want good jury for this case, . case of train robbing. Any other excuseT !. "Yes, sir, i have rheumatism"
 "Not legal excuse"
 q used to live la Missouri"
 "You did? Well, then, gs. ess q hese. We don't want you."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
4 NATURAL DEATH.

Two Arknansaw acqaaintanees. " Cap tain, what was the matter with your sos when he diedr1
 "Nothing the matter with him vher he died except that he was dead" Pretty sick though before he died, wasn't heI"
 ~Well, he wasn't ss peart as he bad been"
 "Died a natural death, ] suppose" "YeS."
 "Whisky5"
 Whisky"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
WOULD FOOL HIM.

"There comes that consounded col. iector," said the colonel "He has been here twenty times within the past month. This is the 6rst day of April and shall fool him"
 How, colonelT
 {" By paying the bilir
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
WHAT HE WOULD DO.

"The man who msrries for money sells himself" said Mir. Clotsenham, d. dressing his soa.
 aThen. if ycu were in my position, father, what would ycs do.S
 sWeii, I'd sell myssf.v
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-04-11
VOL. 6. NO. 20.
LIMNINGS.

Mir. Howeus, the novelist, uses the word synthetize." Mir. Howells should know that the word is obsolete.