Morning journal and courier., 1885-08-08
OBSCURE.

.Tbere has never been circus on the island of Malta What inducement the Maltese boy has to save up his pennies is very obscure.- Oil City Derrick.
 We hear a good deal said about the quick ness of Irish wit, but after all is it at all strange that Irishman should say Fat thingss-Somerville Journal.
 A poet asks: "What is warmer than a womans love?" We infer that he never picked up newly coined horseshoe, fresh from the forge.-Norristown Herald.
 sI am never missed any more when I go off on a visit, :" sighed West Wayne street lady. sWhy not?" asked her friend. Be cause since got married they call me Mrs. :"
 If the board of health wishes to destroy unripe fruit, we would recommend the em- ployment of small boys to do the destroying. They will do it for nothing.-Philadelph Call.
 ssMr. Jenkinson's wife must be awful jeal- o1s /" said Miss Smith, s'He gave me his seat in the horse car and when thanked him he begged me not to mention it. .'-Boston Tran script.
 II remember you very well, !" said the hotel keeper, "but your wire has grown very thin. :, ssYes." ssShe was taller| "Yes.p And lighter complexioned, was she notT es. Besides: you know, it is not the same one." ssThat lady has very high color," said a man, speaking of a customer who had just left the drug store '1 don't call it high, " was the druggists reply; '1 sell it to her at twenty-five cents a bottle. Surely that's cheap enough?'
 woman, God bless her bright eyes, can make roses bloom in the desert, and when so minded she can give to the most common place affairs of life rather much of rain l bow look: but to save her eyebrows she can t use pen without getting ink on her fingers any more than she can remember the day ot 1 the month.-Yonkers Statesman. l The Emperor of Anam puts the State funds | into hollow logs, which are then sealed up | and deposited in the ponds where the royal crocodiles are kept. It looks like Anam-biguous mode of keeping money | but it is an established fact that none of the Emperor's financial agents are spending season in Canada.-Norristown Herald. A Concord school philosopher asks: 'Wha, | did Goethe mean by his 'Ewig- -Weibliche, | which 'zieht uns hinan,' and what is in very truth this quality which draws mar
 upward?" Gosh! we give that up. A rope l in the hands of 8 party of Texas lynchers
 "draws man upward" but we don't suppose | that is the right answer.-Norristown Her | aid.
 Not Much of Fool After All Sam Wed
 nesday, an impecunious citizen of Austin
 was supposed to be crazy, and his relatives brought him before the County court to have
 a lunatico de inquirendo jury pass on hl'
 mental condition, his delusion being that nc
 was rich. A lawyer proceeded to ask tn,
 crazy man questions to test his sanity: "l
 hear that you are going to build a s50, %!
 residence.' "It is going to cost s6O, ,OOO.
 "You don't say so." "Yes, and
 am going to start a dall.
 paper with $250 900 capital. That's mer trifie for man of my means" You seen
 to have so much money perhaps you woul'
 not object to lending me thousand dollarss
 ssrd like to do it, Judge, but that would b
 such risky investment everybody woul'
 suspect me of being crazy.'' The refusal o
 the supposed lunatic to seriously entertain
 the idea of lending money to an Austin law yer caused the jury to decide that sam wa
 in full possession of his reasoning faculties Texas Siftings.