davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21
AN EDUCATIONAL FAILURE

| How Farmer Homespun's Boy Got Hla
College Education.
Farmer Homespun, living in the Wes-
tern part of New York, sent his son Bill
to Yale College. He hadn't heard from
Bill in some time, but one day dandi-
fled fellow called at the farmhouse, and
said he was from Yale College and knew
Bill.
"You be one of them students at
Yale College, be you?" asked the
farmer.
"Yaas. claim old Yale as my alma
mater. Bill told me to call in and see
you while was in your neighbOrhood
fishing. Bill has gone to New York for
a little relaxation
$50 you know my Bill; Bill Home
spun"
why, certainly know him. We are
in the same boat"
'How is Bill coming on? He hasn't
writ to me in good while, but he draws
drafts pretty regular"
'.Bill is improving.'a
els he industrious?"
He practices every day four or five
hours. He pulls pretty fair oar for
Freshman. He is learning to feather his
oar pretty WELL"
'.HOw does he get along with his Pro-
fessor. Is he learning?'
'.He is learning fast. He was little
awkward at first, but the Professor pol
ishes him every day, and Bill will be
able to hold up his hands to almost any
body. He is getting to box like pro-
fessiOnal."
The old farmer was somewhat mysti-
fed. When he sent his son to Yale hiss
idea was to enable the young man to
learn how to paddle his own canoe. and
feather his own nest, but he had no idea
that feathering an oar and rowing q
boat were the best means of acquiring
that knowledge.
'.How is Bill coming on with his
books?" asked the old man.
.My dear sir. it is all nonsense trying
to learn how to row a boat. or box by
studying books. There are lots of books
the only way is to discard books and
put on the gloves, or pick up the oars.
and go at it practically"
''How about his other studies. Does
he pitch in and work?'
mo. It's not every Teller who can
play baseball who knows how to pitch.
l tsink Bill will be better catcher than
a pitcher. He is pretty good as short
stOp.H
The old man shook his head and muir
INJURED:
so he is good as short stop. Well.
l guess if that's all he's learnin', he'll
stop short. sure enough"
Bills next draft went to protest, and
now Bill is sitting around in the village
store. and tells yarns about college life
to the open-mouthed rustics.-Tezas
Siftin1s.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21
ENGLISH PREMiERs.


Their Average Service and Lease Of Power
since 1714.
Calculating to June 9.when the minis
try determined to tender its resignation,
Mr.. Gladstone's premiership is sixth "a
length of service since the acces-
sion of the house of Hanover, IN
1714. The Duke of Newcastle, Wis
count Melbourne, Viscount Palmerston.
and Mr.. Disraeli held the reins Of gov
eminent longer for a single term than
has Gladstone in either OF his terms.
The latter's first premiership lasted 5
years 2 months and IL days; his second.
to June 9, 5 years month and II days.
Newcastle served years months 8
days, from April 81, 1854, till May 30,
1862. Melbourne's first government,
in 1884, lasted less than five months, his
second, from April Is, 1885. to Septem.
Der l, 1S4l, 6 years months Is days.
Palmerston's first premiership lasted 8
years Is days. His second 6 years 9
months IS days. Benjamin Disraeli's
first government began and ended in
1858, covering a period of 3 months II
airy q. 1874, to April %. 1896 years
2 months days. Mr.. Gladstone's two
leases of power aggregated 10 years 8
months % days.
Five premiers of the fOrty-two be-
tween 17l4 and 1885 have held the reins
of government longer than the '.grand
old man." Robert Walpole, the first
cabinet chief under the HanOvers, was
in office years and 6 months. from
October 10, liza, until April 10.
III, and again from April 20. 1920,
until February IL, l742-a single con-
tinuous lease of q years. 9 months and
q days, and an aggregate of "a years 3
months and q days. Henry Pelham
was premier from July &c. 1743. until
April q, 1754-10years months and %
days. Lord North took office January
%, 177O, and held it II years months
and days. William Pitts service of II
years months and 10 days, from De-
cember q, 1888, till March Z, 1901. and
of l year months and 20 days, from
May II, 1904, till January 8. 1906. ranks
second in length-19 years 10 months
and days. The fifth long-timer. the
third in length Of consecutive service,
was Lord Liverpool. who took Office
June 8, 1912. and gave way to Canning
April IL. 1927, after IA years 10
months and 3 days of power.
The prime minister whose sim
gle lease of power was briefest
since 1714, was the Marquis of Rocking
ham. He succeeded Lord North March
so, 1882. and months and days later
gave way to Shelborne. On an earlier
occasion 1866 - Rockingham was
premier for little more than year.
The average duration of the AZ minis
tiers that have conducted the government
of Britain since 171l has been years
% days. Mr.. Gladstone is the only
premier of all those called second time
to form a cabinet whose lease of power
each time exceeded this average.-Jtiea
Herald.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21
ALESsoM IN TENNIS.

: They PLAYED at tennis that summer day
Where was its .. call it Mount Desert
The place matters not: | will simply saw:
They were playing tennis that summer day,
And she wore a short and striped skirt.
He played but ill-'twas his first essay
And she his partner and coach was both:
Though perhaps not up" in the points of
plav.
Yet she knew the game in general way
And to give him points seemed nothing
- loath;
He did his best. but his best was poor:
The balls served to him on his side staid;
And thus it went on for round or more.
I'LL. anxious. he ventured to ask the score.
The score? Why, it's Thirty-Love," she
said.
"AAnd Lover What is lover" he fain would
know.
Yet biushed to ask it. for he could see
What p6rdonless ignorance he must show:
But she calmly answered him, speaking
slow:
"why. Love is nothing. you know" said
she.
The sun of that summer day is set;
That season is gone, as seasons go:
But his heart was caught in that tennis net.
And they might have been playing partners
Had she not given her answer: "No."
He plays no tennis at all this year.
But he mopes, and means, and signs
hegho.-
And. worse than all else, he remembers
clear:
That Love is nothingr-she told him SO.
&C. +. Cobur1l, ia Century.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21

Castilian, and made . sweeping bow.
Again he was in his element. But he did
not speak. A shower Of odds and ends,
small packages. thread, needles and but.
tons, released from their prison, ratified
down about him.
The girl laughed. She could not help it.
And the elder, leaning his hand on the
counter, laughed, too, until several other
girls came halfway to the front. Then
they. hiding behind counters and sus-
pended cloaks, laughed and snickered until
they reconvulsed the elders ris-G-ris, who
had been making desperate efforts to
resume her demure appearance.
"Let me help you, sir" she said, coming
from behind the counter, upon seeing Elder
for a search. He waved her back majes-
tically. mo, my dear, no; can't allow it.
You mout sile them purity fingers. No,
ma'am. No gen'l'man III Tow er lady to do
such a thing" The elder was gently Fore
ing the girl back to her place. 'Leave it
to me. I've picked up bigger things'n
them. Picked myself UP this mornin'.
donkey-he tumbled me over his head in
the sand this mornin'" And Elder Brown
had to resume an upright position until his
paroxysm of laughter had passed. "You
see this old hat:" extending it half full of
packages: 81 fell clear inter it; jes' as
clean inter it as them things thar fell Out'n
it" He laughed again, and SO did the
girls. "But, nv dear, l whaled half the
hide off'n him for it,"
40, sir. how could you: Indeed, sir, I
think you did wrong. The poor brute did
not know what he was doing, dare say.
and probably he has been faithful friend"
The girl cast her mischievous eyes toward
her companions. who snickered again. The
old man was not conscious of the sarcasm.
He only saw reproach. His face straight
ened, and he regarded the girl soberly.
''Mebbe you're right, my dear; meDbe
oughtn't."
II am sure of it," said the girl. "But
now don't YOU want to buy a bonnet CT a
cloak to carry home to your wife,"
swell, you're whistlin' now, birdie: that's
my intention: set 'em all out" Again the
elders face shone with delight. "An'
don't want no one-hoss bonnet neither"
"Of course not. Now here is one: pink
silk, with delicate pale blue feathers. Just
the thing for the season. We have nothing
more elegant in stock" Elder Brown held
it out, upside down, at arm's-length.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21
LEPROSY.
A Dreaded Plague Which Is Widely Dis
seminated.

A Dreaded Plague Which Is Widely Dis
seminated.
Few persons are aware that leprOsy
still prevails to considerable extent in
various parts of the world. The Chi
nese are popularity believed to be the only
people especially subject toit. Medical
writings show, however, that it is not
only widely distributed in India, China,
some portions of Europe, the Sandwich
Islands. the West Indies. but that in this
country there are several centers where
cases have been observed. One of these
leprOus centers is Louisiana. where the
disease has existed for over a century, 1t
was at one time so prevalent that in 1855
q leper hospital was erected in New
Orleans. Within a few years past quite
a number of cases have been reported
in lower Louisiana, and five or six years
ago an official investigation was ordered
BY the legislature.
On the Bay of Chaleurs, in New
Brunswick. there has been leper hospi-
tai for many years, the disease has beeL
considerably restricted by governmental
supervision, and seems in fair way of
soon disappearing there altogether.
The disease has been imported into
Minnesota by Norwegian emigrants. but
is said to be on the decline in that State.
In California it is reported to be fire.
guently among the Chinese. No reliable
statistics of its prevalence there are, how
ever, available.
In this city several cases of the dis
ease have developed within the past ten
years. Cases have been reported in the
medical journals by two Of our physi-
clans. who have made a careful investi-
CATION into tn subject. One of the cases
has never been away from the city.
showing that the disease was acquired
here.
Whether leprosy is contagious or not
is mooted question. Physicians dis
agree upon this point. as they do on
so many others. The weight of evil
dence is to the effect that there is great
danger from contagion. Leprosy is alb
solutely incurable by any method of
treatment known to the medical faculty.
and it is fortunate that it is as rare as it
is.-Baltimore Times.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21
John Browns Rebuke to Swearer.

Mr.. Gill has q rich store of John
Brown anecdotes. l remember one he
used to tell when we were grangers to-
gether in Keokuk County. 1t is this:
Brown was greatly opposed to the use
of profane language. and sternly for
babe it among his men. At one time he
captured border ruffian in Kansas. and
he could shame a Flanders regiment
with his horrible oaths. Brown listened
to him for some time. partcOk of his
supper in silence. lighted his pipe from
Goals in the ashes. then said TO the
border heather: Il very much dislike
to hear you using such language
Greatly surprised at the declaration. he
asked Brown TO state his objections.
I'm tell YOU. sir he replied. If there
is no God it is exceedingly foolish. and
if there is it is desperately wicked"
And Mr.. Gil remarked that old Brown
said it in such a fa,herly way that the
fellow desisted, and never afterward
swore in his presence - DIS -Noi.es
Lecger.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21

In an address toyoung men, DR.. W.
Pratt, of London, says that married life
is by far the most healthy. In 1000
married men of twenty-five to thirty
years of age there are six deaths; 1000
widowers twenty-five deaths. In young
men married before twenty years the
figures are unfavorable, being fifty per
1000. In unmarried men under twenty
the rate is but seven per 1000. If girls
marry before twenty. q like mortality
befalls them. Married people from
eighteen to twenty die as fast IS people
from sixty to seventy: After twenty
one marriage should be contracted -
soon as practicable. ::
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21

The Hindoos say that chess was the
Invention of al astronomer who flour
ished several thousand years ago. and
who was possessed of supernatural
knowledge and acuteness. The Greeks
claim that it was the invention of Pala-
medes to beguile the tedium Of the siege
of Troy. The Arab legend is that it
was devised for the instruction of .
young despot by his tutor, a learned
Brahmin. to teach the youth how king
was dependent upon his subject for
safety.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21
CORN CULTIVATION.
Deep Flowing During Early Growth Pro-
nOunced to he Highly Ad-
vantageous.

v1nt3Seous.
The manner of cultivating corn.
whether deep or shallow, is subject of
much thought and discussion; but it
seems to depend very much upon .
principle which exists everywhere, viz,
that at first, and before the roots have
spread through the rows. deep cultiva-
ton is useful, but afterward. as the
roots spread through the soil, only the
surface should be stirred. A most sue
cessful and large cultivator of corn in
Central Illinois, upon strong clay loan,
but containing much humus, found that
his best success was in blowing deeply
next the corn during its early growth.
He therefore used narrow bull tongues.
running deeper than the outer broader
teeth Of his cultivators. during the early
growth of his corn, As the corn be-
came large the teeth were changed so
the deeper running teeth were near the
middle of the rows. Thus the deep cul-
tivation kept pace with the growth of
the roots Of the corn, and later, as the
roots filled the whole soil. the cultiva-
ton was superficial. His regular days
work for a team in the field was eight
hours, but he kept the teams moving.
and accomplished more work in a day
than many who kept their team afield
twelve hours. Another peculiarly of
his was. that his teams might be found
living still while some of his neighbors
were struggling through wet. pasty soil.
l. \
for work his tesms were in the field
early and late, often doing twice the
amount of his regular work in one day.
Yet his teams never seem tagged His
theory of cultivation and his labor were
founded upon common sense.-N y.
Times.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21

1t is said the third ccs;liest build.
ing in the world is the New York State
Capitol. Started under a legislative
limitation of $4,000. 900, it has already
cost nearly SIS, 100000. or more than
the National Capitol building at Wash
ingtOn. Six or seven millions more
will be required to finish it.--N Y,
Tribune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21

The head of one New York clothing
house is quoted by the Times as saying
that his firm spent over 5000 last year
in signs along highways and railroads.
money, he AYERS. that was ''all wasted. "
because the scheme has been 90 much
overdone.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21

nestled in his arms and bulged out about
the sections of his clothing that boosted Of
pockets. As he deposited his deck-load
upon the counter, great drops Of perspira-
ton rolled down his face and over his
water-loyged collar to the floor.
There was something exquisitely refresh
ing in the great glasses OF foaming soda
that a spruce young man was drawing
from a marble fountain, above which half
q dozen polar bears in an ambitious print
were disporting themselves There came
a break in the run of customers, and the
spruce young man, having swept the foam
from the marble. dextrously lifted a glass
from the revolving rack which had rinsed
it with a fierce little stream of water, and
asked mechanically, as he caught the in
tense look of the perspiring elder, "Wh at
schrup, sir!"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-21

Leading Balaam, she disappeared down
the lane; and when, a few minutes later
Hannah Brown and her husband entered
through the light that streamed out Of tbs
open door, her arms We're around him, and
her face upturned to his.-U. $. Ednards,
IN Hppcr's MAGAZINE.
The Opelousas courier., 1885-08-29
For Weak WNman.

Mrs. LYDIA f. PINKHAM: about the first
of September, 1881, my wife was taken With
uterine hemorrhage. The best styptics tha
physician could prescribe did not check it and
she got more and more enfeebled. She was
troubled with Prolapsus Uteri, Leu.
corrhea, numbness of the limbs, sick
ness of the stomach and loss OF appetite.
| purchased q trial bottle of your vegetable
Compound. She sail she could dtScouer q
sanitary effect from the first dose, Now she
is comparatively free from the P%rolapsus
Stomach's sickness, &c. The hcmorrEage il
very much better and is less at the regular
periods. Her appetite is restored, ard hel
general health and strength are much i'm
proved. We feel hat we have been ,vonder
frIu benefited and our hearts are drawn out
in gratitude for the same and in sympathy
for other sufferers, for whose sakcs WI allow
our names to be used.
&C w, Eaton, ThurStOn, n. w
The Opelousas courier., 1885-08-29
n 4 DEPARTFENE
I. rnsl,sh BRIDES Costume.

sbe is tall, fair and pretty. She
9as dressed extremely quietly in a
welI.made dress of brown fable Fran
sais, She wore a short brown cloth,
e1enille spotted mantle trimmed with
thick chenille fringe, each strand of
Rbich was finished with a little satin
lssll. Her bonnet was of brown chip,
trimmed with brown velvet. Her
cloves were the inevitable tan-colored
naede. Her bridemaid was attired
rather for comfort than for effect.
Her dress was of brown canvas cloth,
the skirt being trimmed with six rows
of gold braid. Her jacket was seal
skin and very long. She wore very
pretty brown bonnet, rather marred
by an elaborate arrangement of me-
taIlic green leaves.
The Opelousas courier., 1885-08-29
SIN Rag CARPETS.

Down in a dingy, dim and dirty lit
fle basement under a rickety old build
ING on the Bowery is carried on an in
aastry whose products are as beautiful
ii they are fashionable. 1t is "a new
freak In fancy work and rather a SEN
sIhle one.
This new wrinkle is nothing more
nor less than a silk rag carpet. Old
silk dresses, sashes and ribbons are cut
Up into little strips, the cviors mixel
Unfortunately together, and woven
into a thick rug like a Turkey carpet.
Threads Of gold and silver braid are
run in to give the mass an occasional
Glitter here and there. Then with
Elaborate borders attached they are
hung up to act as ~portieres or window
curtains.
This little Bowery cellar is the only
place where they are woven. Little do
the occupants of fashionable drawing
rooms imagine that the pretty fabrics
are made by the brawny Milesian, with
spectacles and a black pipe, and that
by the aid of two pickering candles
sci in the dust of the cumbrous loom
iii blends the colors together with the
sye of an artist-.N. 7. Herald.
The Opelousas courier., 1885-08-29
Feminine sheep Raisera.

Some time ago we mentioned In
these columns the case of a young
Girl, a farmers daughter, who has
reared and owns a flock of sheep, the
care of which is her special business
and privilege. Another case Of a
similar kind, but more fully developed,
occurs in Montana, where a lady has
become a successful shepherdess, and,
As IS meet and fit, has united her for
tunes, her fame and her flock with
those of a neighboring shepherd, whose
success in his chosen industry first at
tracted favorable attention from his
life partner and companion. These
Instances are worthy of notice because
they call attention to a pleasing and
profitable occupation which women
mas follow with Propriety and suc-
cess. -NeD York Times.
The Opelousas courier., 1885-08-29
riddles and Vsottns.

A Utica gentleman of leisure be-
lieves that he has discovered the lost
secret of making violins that probably
originated in England in the twelfth
century, and which has immortalized
the names of Amatis at Brescha,
Straaivari and the Guarneris at Gre
mona, and Steiner in the Tyrol. He
has made sixteen violins and over zoo
experiments, and can now construct a
violin with the tones of a flute or any
other that may be desired. He dis
cards all former theories that attri-
butte the excellence of old instruments
to the lacquer, varnish, singing
wood, etc, and finds that scientific
principles and sound wood are the
oasis of all perfect instruments. a
prominent manufacturer has already
offered him $4,000 for the secret, but
he is not quite ready to sell it. Hall
of a book on the subject of violin max
ing on scientific principles. written by
this Utican, is ready for the printer
An expert, when asked what was the
difference between a violin and fiddle
pI wed the Carnival Of Venice anG
"Home, Sweet Home to illustrate
the music Of the violin, and "The Ar
karssaw Traveller and Yankee Doc
lle" that OF q addle.-Uttca Observer.
The Opelousas courier., 1885-08-29
POseOHSce ROsssasaces.

On n occasion a gentlemanly look
ing person called and expressed a fear
that he had inclosed two letters in
wrong envelopes. and that all his pros
poets in life depended on his having
his letters back and correcting the
mistake, inasmuch as they revealed
mans which he had adopted to save
two mercantile houses in the same line
of business, whose interests clashed at
every point. A similar blunder oc-
Cured In d more delicate affair, when
a young lady was most urgent to have
her letters returned, as she had ac-
cepted the wrong offer Of marriage
The local postmaster was unable 70
resist her earnest entreaties, and thu
prevented a painful catastrophe. Bu'
. whole romance might be written on
the following incident: A young lady
who had been engaged to q prosperous
Young manufacturer, was informed, Z
few days before the marriage was liked
for, that the firm was insolvent. No
a moment was to be lost, and q lettel
was written and posted, breaking tn
engagement; when, within two hours
ID was discovered that the report wa
entirely unfounded. The report con
tinues: .The daughter with her parent
rushed to the p~ostofice. and no word
can describe the scene-the appeais
lie tears, tho wringIng Of hands. "
united entreasies Of the family, To-Day
the fatal letters restored, but aias! 3
was vain, the rule admitted Of 10 81
ception.-RogGI Mai.
The Opelousas courier., 1885-08-29
- - ----- -
Evolution of the Fan.

One evening when the beautiful daugh-
ter of a powerful Chinese mandarin, was
assisting at the grand feast of lanterns,
she was so overcome by the heat that she
was obliged to take off her mask. But
to expose her face to the eyes of the pro-
fame and vulgar was a serious offence
against the law, so, holding the mask as
closely as possible to her features, she
f1uttered it to give herself air, and the
rapidity of the movement still concealed
her. The other ladies present, witness
ing this hardy but charming innovation,
initiated it, and at once ten thousand
hands were f1uttering ten thousand masks.
Thus the fan was evolved and took the
place of the mask.