davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
Saying "ShOo' to a Calf.

Last Wednesday afternoon, as the
day freight going north on the Dan
bury and Norwalk Railroad ap-
proaced Cannon's Station, three
calves were discovered on the track,
who seemed disposed to dispute the
right of way with the train. The
engineer whistled a shrill warning
to them, but they needed it not.
The train being heavy it was impos-
sible to make a quick stop, and a
brakeman named Gilbert jumped
of and ran ahead to "shoo" them
into the ditch. They didn't "shoo"
worth a snap and Gilbert grabbed
one of them by the tail with the in
tention of throwing him over into
the lot, whereupon the affrighted
animal started off on a run up the
track, with Gilbert clutching its
tail. If you've ever tried it you
know it's no fool of a Job to main
tain a close connection with a fright
ened calf, especially when you're
obliged to run straddle-legged ts
avoid being kicked by the flying
hind hoofs Of the critter. And that
is what Gilbert thought as he dane
ed along trying to make up his
mind whether he had the calf or the
calf bad him.
Meantime the engine was gaining
on them, and just as it seemed prob
able that the cow-catcher was likely
to overhaul the calf-catcher, Gilbert,
by stroke of good fortune, sue
cdeded in rolling himself and the
calf head over heels down the bank,
and the train whizzed by within a
hairs breadth of them.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

The names one sees scattered over
the town projecting on shingles from
the Chinese ls.undries are not the
names of the proprietors. as many
suppose, but of the iaundries. They
try to get high sounding title, just
as people in in the country do with
a new hotel or other enterprise.
"Sam Wah" means the three harmo-
nies, which is the leading idea of
Observation-Disclosures, earth and man.
''Sam Lee" means the three-iold
profit. Var LIE or LIP (they vary
in the spelliug according to the dis
trict they coroe FROM means profit
thousand fold. II pun van Ii"
means Il for capital, 10000 for prof
it" Hap Ii" means harmony and
profit. Few, if any, of the China
men in the eastern cities have any
name. They are ofthe vagrant class
the lowest Of the low. A Chinaman
of any prominence. even an artisan,
changes his name three times. He
receives a name from his father az
an infant, he gets book name when
he goes to school and he receives
his true and official name when he
marries.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

OCCUPATION AS A PREVENTATIVE
Never forget that idleness is ruinous
to young people, and give your boys
and girls plenty to do. AN ounce
of prevention is worth a pound of
cure, ;" or, TO change the figure, it is
very easy to run a locomotive when
everything is in running order, but
after a collision it is quite another
thing, Take our advice. Put your
boy on the right track, and keep it
clear. Ten chances to one he will
60 unhu.t until he is TWENTY-FIVE or
thirty and then-well, you need
not break your heart because he
breaks his. Accidents viii happen,
you know, they must come, sooner
or later-but later is better. Give
him something to do. As for your
daughter, as soon as she leaves
school her books are thrown aside,
and she is expected at once to iden-
tify herself with household interests,
or to become a lady of fashion, ac-
cording to circumstances. Better
the first than the last but both are
wrong. Give Ler something to do
something which involves routine.
Let her keep up slender course of
study. Give her good books and
papers to read. Find her occupa-
tion OF some kind, or she will soon
become restless and uneasy, and
ripe for any mischief. A
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

An Auburn LAWYERS little duagh-
ter goes to Sabbath school and is in
a class with other little girls. Posi-
bly, the Auburn legal luminary
hasn't allowed for the sharp ears
and bright eyes of bis little oEe as
he might
1t was in a review last Sabbath in
her class. The teacher was going
over the good old story of King
Solomon and his wisdom.
Now, dears. who was the great
Queen who travelled so.many miles
to see this King?" Silence prevail
ed in the class. r7~e.
"Why, you do know, all of you.
The Queen who came. to see the
King"
The name had been forgotten by
the class.
In order to help them, the kind
but misguided teacher began to Of
fer a little assistance: "You do
know, l am sure. The name begins
with s, and she was a very great
Queen. .ns.sdN
Just then, up shot q little hand,
and out spoke the triumphant voice
of the little Auburn girl. She trans
fixed the listening school-room with
The following brief statement: II
know teacher: it was the Queen
Of Spades. - Le,ciston Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
f1sh and Fowl at one shot.

I send you a peculiar incident
that happened to me while going
around the shore of a pond near
Kalamazoo, Mich. in search of Grip
pied ducks. The morning flight be-
ing over, fired at a duck in the
bushes, and upon wadirg out to get
it / noticed considerable CONNIE
ton among the rushes just beyond
the duck, and supposed, of course,
that l had killed another duck.
You can imagine my astonishment
when instead ola duck, 1 found that
a two pound black bass with No. 4
shot in its head was making the
disturbance. l have seen a pigeon
and a squirrel killed with the same
charge, but when you get fish and
fowl at the same time it simply
beats the record.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
Endurance in the Water.

Men and animals are able to sus-
tain themselves for long distances in
the water, and would do SO oftener
were they not incapacitated, in re-
gard to the former, at least, by sheer
terror, as well as complete ignorance
of their real power. Webb's won
derful endurance will never be for
gotten. But there are other instan-
ces only less remarkable. Some
years ago the second mate of ship
fell overheard while in the act of
hoisting a sail. 1t was blowing
fresh the time was night, and the
place was some miles out on the
stormy German ocean. The hardy
fellow, nevertheless, managed to
gain the English coast. Brock, with
dozen other pilots, was plying for
fares by Yarmouth, and as the main
sheet was Delayed, a sudden puff of
wind upset the boat, when presently
ali perished except Brock himself,
who, from 4 in the afternoon of an
October evening till 1 the next
morning, swan 13 miles before he
was able to hail vessel at anchor
in the ofiing. Animals themselves
are capable of swimming immense
distances, although unable to rest bv
the way. A dog recently swan IL
miles in America to rejoin his mas
ter. A mule and a dog, washed
overheard in the Bay Of Biscay,
have been known to make their way
to shore. A dog swan ashore at
the Cape of Good Hope, with let
ter in his mouth. The crew of the
ship to which the dog belonged all
perished, which they need not have
done had they only ventured to tread
water as the dog did. As certain
ship was laboring heavily in the
trough of the sea it was found need
ful, in order to tighten the vessel.
to throw some troop horses over
board. The poor things, my in
formant, a staff surgeon told me,
when they found themselves aban-
doned, faced round and swan for
miles after the vessel.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

Tts Powder neyervaries marvel Of purity:
strcrxth and whoieeomeness. More cccnomicai
thaa the ordinarv Kinds and cannot be sold u
compctition with the multitude Of low test. shoru
weieht. alum or phosphate powders Sold only On
SrN may25rf.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

When | was at Alexandria last
week | heard an old mans state
ment of how President Jackson's
nose was pulled by Lieutenant Ram
dolph in the summer of 1888. Said
be:
President Jackson was passing
Alexandria on his way to celebrate
the building of a monument to
IWashington's mother at Fredericks-
burg. The steamer stopped at Alex
andria to get the mail. Jackeon
was sitting in the cabin back of a
table smoking a pipe, and there was
hardly room to pass him. His pipe
was a long-stemmed one, end 1t
hung almost to his knee. A few
men, including Maj. Donelson, Jack
sons adopted son, were standing
about, and there were Others who
had come on board to see the Presi-
dent and to look at the boat.
Among these was Lieutenant Ran
dolph, connection of the noted
Randolph family to which John
Randolph belonged. He had been
dismissed from the navy by Jackson
for some trouble in his accounts.
He was a straight young man, and
not bad looking. He came on the
boat and pushed his way through
the crowd until he reached the cab
ia. This he entered and went up to
Jackson as though he would speak
to him. President Jackson did not
know him, but held out his hand,
asking him to excuse him from ris-
ing. As he did SO Randolph, with
quick gesture, seized Jackson's
nose and gave three strong pulls. 1t
was done so quickly that no one
had a chance to interfere. Old
Hickory threw his pipe up into the
air as if to strike Randolph with it,
but before he could do anything
Randolph had started of, and he
was helped by the bystanders on to
the wharf. He quickly mounted a
horse, and rode off into the country.
Jackson's excitement was intense.
His nose was as red as fire, and l
am sure it did not regain its color
for days. He said angrily, "if L
had had an idea that l was going 10
be assaulted / should have been
prepared. Randolph is the first VIII
lain who has escaped me-" Here
upon a bystander said, "Ifyou will
pardon me for the crime, will kill
Randolph within the mex: fifteen
minutes" This Jackson refused to
promise. | think an indictment of
assault with intent to kill was filed
against Randolph in the courts of
Alexandria, bu; this was afterward
nolled by Major Donelsor. y Wash
inqton Cor. Clereland Leader.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
Not So Bad as He Thought.

A bright little fellow, about three
years of age, was very anxious to 60
to walk with his father.
NO." said the latter, "you can't
go; you're too little"
"Oh, no, papa" he said stoutly,
I'm big boy"
"All right" said his father, "come
along"
On the way home the little fellow
became tired and wanted his father
to carry him.
" l thought you were big boy ?''
said his father, pretending to sneer.
7" | was a big boy when | started
out" he said, = Pm a little boy now"
He was carried the rest of the
way.-Merchant Traveller.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

Jim Webster has been before the
courts of Austin innumerable times
for various petty offenses. He was
tried for stealing chickens one day
last week. Finally the Judge told
him:
"You can go. You are discharg-
ed. The jury has decided you are
not guilty"
Jim passed his hand over his
brow, and asked in dazed sort OF
& way:
"Me not guilty ?"
"Yes, you are not guilty"
"You don't tell me so, boss. Use
neber had muffin like dat happen to
me befo. Dis am mighty funny
yeah, anyhow. Fust de 'Publicans
didn't 'lect dar President, an now
Use been foun' not guilty OBJ tam
perrin wild dem pullets l stole. y
Teras Siftinqs
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
WEDNESDAY, FEB'Y 25, 1885,

When and where all persons and corporations feel
ing themselves aggrieved ut the enumeration and
valuation OF their taxable property and effects
made in such cases made and provided, are re-
quested to attend ami state 'heir grievances for
redress according TO law. The appeals will be
held at The above mentioned DAYS between the
hours Of o'clock O. I'D. and s O'Clock p. 10.
PETER DUMBAULD,
ADAM O.. .LEPLEY,
JONAS McCLINTOCK.
A. HILKnAS, Clerk. Commissioners.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

Mr.. John Thompson, SIS Hanover
etreet, Liverpool, England, and one
of the oldest and most extensive
dealer in drugs in Great Britain,
writes: 1T is a great pleasure to
sell a remedy which gives general
satisfaction, and our people, like
their American cousins, have be-
come convinced of the fact that St.
Jacobs Oil conquers pain. The
demand for it in Liverpool and Vi
cinity was never so great as at pres
ent and is daily increasing"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

Cisausss the Head,
IAlhys Inflammation.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

Is in store for all who use kemps
Balsam for the throat and lungs, the
great guaranteed remedy. Would
you believe that it is sold on its mer
its and that each druggist is author
lied to refund your money by the
Proprietor of this wonderful remedy
if it fails to cure you. c. N. Boyd
has secured the agency for it.
Price so cents and s1.00. Trial
size free.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
iune20

WHAT PREACHERS SHOULD NOT
FoRGET.-Preachers should never
forget that their exemption from
the laws of debate-the fact that
they are listened to in respectful
and reverent silence-imposes a
corresponding obligation to speak
soberly. carefully, truthfully to sift
their facts, weigh their arguments,
and choose their words with pa
tience, judgment and discretion. 1t
is very damaging to a man to be-
come known as given to inaccura-
cy, exaggeration, and loose reason
ing. In our day every audience
contains well-informed men and
men of sound judgment, whose good
opinion means influence and sue
cess to the pastor.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
These are Solid Facts.

The best blood purifier and sys.
TEN regulator ever placed within
reach of suffering humanity. truly
is Electric Bitters. Inactivity of
the Liver, Bilfnsness, Jaundice,
Constipation, Weak Kidneys, or
any other disease of the urinary or
gans, or whoever needs an appetizer
or a mild stimulant, will ALWAYS
find Electric Bitters the best and
only certain cure known. They act
surely and quickly, every bottle
guaranteed TO give entire satisiac-
ton or money refunded. Sold at
SOC. bottle by c. N. Boyd.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
EXECUTOR'S NOTICE.

Al HILKnAS, Clerk. Com
ian. IA
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
sGyseery er . lown Pump.

The students and the faculty of
Yale ao6 The stown born" of thecity
are puzzled over the conduct Of the
old town pump on the historic green
writes 1 New Haven correspondent
of the New York Sun, which for
some time has been emitting bet
water out Of its Temple street spout
and pure cold water as usual out of
its Church street nozzle, and SO far
there has been no satisfactory ex-
PLANTATION of the phenomenon.
The New Haven town pump is IA
NOUS principally for the quality of
the water and for the number of
times it has been stolen by skylark-
ing students. 1t stands fifty yards
from the college campus, on the
lower corner of the green, and is a
tall and ponderous wooden structure
of the seventeenth century, with
two handles, two spouts, and two
iron drinking cups. The city does
not replace it with modern style
iron pump because these freeze up
IN winter and are too cumbersome
tor the students to lug away. And
30 New Haven people reach up for
the long hickory pump brakes. by
the thousands in summer and by
the hundreds in winter. Some o
the old business men of ths
place always stop there to drinl
on their way down town from din
ner.
Originally the site Of the pump
was cold and limpid spring, frin-
ged with alders and in the center
of the nine squares originally laid
out. The alder grove was famous
trysting-place, and existed for years.
The spring was walled up in two
sections, and the pump was set
about the time Yale college was To-
Gated here. The students have been
stealing it enthusiastically ever
since.
Prof. Daniel c. Eaton, OF Yale,
was at loss to account for the aque-
Gus freak of the old pump. Never
before in his recollection had there
been any such complaint. He was
loath to believe the story of his . d
friend at first, but stepping up to
the shackly Temple street brake he
applied his right hand to it with
Wig r WI e with lis left he txtended
the iron tankard under the nozzle.
A stream of tepid water shot into
the cup, smoking with heat in the
cold air. 1t was nauseatingly warm,
and strongly impregnated with
minerals. Then the professor went
around to the Church stree side and
yanked at the brake. Here he pro-
cured cup of ice-cold water spark
ling in the sunlight.
81 can't account for the phenome-
non," said he. Il do not think
however, that it may be attributed
to any volcanic or subterranean ac-
ton"
The professor indicated that hot
and cold springs side by side were
not to be looked for in this part o
the country.
At times the Temple street Spout
yields water that is so hot as to bt
scaldibg. Both streams come from
the same source, though the sprinl
is divided by a wall from the bot
tom. Why the water should be ho
is a mystery. But why such
marked difference should exist il
the samples drawn from the sam'
we'll through two pumps set over
is a maca greater one. There If
theory that the water may be heatet
from one of the Chapel street stean
hest pipes, but this is half a blocl
away. A leak in the pipe nigh
cause the heat. but this is held to b
improba Ole and the town father
will be asked to Zig up the well t
see what is the matter.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

Ono of my children, a girl about
nine years old, had a very bad dis
charge from her head and nose Of .
thick, yellowish matter, and was
growing worse. We had two diff
,ferent physicians prescribe for her,
but without benefit. We tried
Elys Cream Balm, and mn ch to
our surprise in three days there
was a marked improvement. We
continued using the Balm and in a
short time the discharge was ppar-
emily cured. 0. A. Cary. Coming,
N. Y.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
A Remarkable Escape.

Mre. Mary Daley, of Tunkhan-
mock, Pa, was afflicted for six years
with Asthma and Bronchitis, dur
ing which time the best physicians
could give no relief. Her life vas
despaired of, until in last October
she procured bottle of DR.. Kings
New Discovery, when immediate
relief was felt, and bv continuing
its use for a short time she was
completely cured, gaining in fesh
50 lbs. in a few months. {
FREQ trial bottles of this, certain
curefof -all Throat and Lung Dis
eases atC. 81 8sais aDruk Stots.
Large bottles s1.O0.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
A Sensible Man

Would use Kemp's Balsam for
the throat and lungs. 1t is curing
more cases of coughs, colds. asthma,
bronchitis, Group. and all throat and
lung troubles, than any other medi-
cine. The proprietor las authorized
C. N. Boyd to refund your money if.
after taking three-fourths of bottle.
relief is not obtained. Price so cts.
and 81. Trial size free.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

JUST LIKE OTHER WOMEN .-"Oh
have you heard the news?" said q
fond wife to her husband.
"What news ?"
"Mrs. DePoultice's daughter has
eloped with the coachman."
Nothing unusual about that She
did what all other women do?"
"What all other women do
What do you mean?"
''She took a husband for wheel OF
whoa"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

A cold of unusual severity which
took last autumn developed into
a difficulty decidedly catarrhal 10
all its characteristics, threatening q
return of my old chronic malady,
catarrh- One bottle of Ely's Cream
BALM completely eradicated every
sympnm Of that painful and pre-
ea1hnE 116bfd9f 4E hW.srlkne
165 Hudson St, Rochester.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
A Fortunate Discovery.

A new light is thrown on the sub
ject of Consumption by DR.. Wagner
Kemp, discoverer of Kemp's Balsam
for the Throat and Lungs. A rem
edy that has proved itself to be a
remarkable compound. 1t does its
work thoroughly, stopping hack
ing cough instantly.
Sold by C. N. Boyd. Price 50cts.
and s1.OO Trial bottle free. Get
one.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18
The Oldest Man i'm somerset

As well as the handsomest, and
others are invited to call on C. N
Boyd, and get free trial bottle Of
Kemp's Balsam for the throat and
lungs, a remedy that is selling en-.
tirely upon its merits, and is guar
anteed to cure and relieve all Chron-
ic and Acute Coughs, Asthma, Bron-
chtis, and Consumption. Price so
cents and LOO.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

STORY OF MAN WHO COULD DRINK 1T Or
LEAVE II ALONE.

81 can drink il, or / can leave it
alonei' said Herbert Thorpe,
proudly.
Herbert was the son of an only
mother, and she was widow whose
husband was dead. He was young
man of rare promise and still raref
fulfllment. He graduated at coli
lege with brilliant honors behind the
bat, the envied idol of his nine.
Life opened itself before him yoluns
tarily, like sick oyster. But, alasl
in an evil hour-say about half past
early in the morning-the tempter
with q small voice came upon
him.
de became slave of the foe OF
young men, the D. d.
Not the ID. ID. who preached to q
large and fashionable congregation.
O. no. The other d. D.-the Demon
Drink. xfsek20tgs
He weakly yielded to the fascina-
tioLs of his Daniel Boone compan-
ions-Thomas aud Jeremiah. Bill
Yards, and the rest of the boys.
80, shun the glass" pleaded
the fair young girl who liked
him.
He said he meyer used the glass.
He was shaved at the BARRIERS, and
he wore a fiat scarf that hid his
flaunel shirt, and didn't have to be
tied. nFrres, Ia
Fly the tempter," said his
pastor. .fFH.v.t
But he said it was all he could do
to fly little kite for thirty days,
and he wasn't very fly anyhow.
And with this brutal and heartless
lest-which in his better moments
Herbert Thorpe never would have
uttered-the white-haired old pastor
went away and crawled under a
lonely tree and died, some Thirty
eight years later of extreme old age
and starvation, brought on by two
donation parties in the same week.
"Do not trifie with it. begged his
friends.
And Herbert Thorpe stood upand
uttered the proud sentence which
this sad chapter opens.
Il can drink it or let it alone" +"
he said, proudly. rt Frr reT
Could he?
We shall see.
A space of periods has elapsed, or
perhaps not as long as that
Herbert Thorpe enters the pala.
tial barroom, where the sitting
odors Of decaying cigar-stumps, stale
tobacco smoke and sawdust, cheese,
sandwiches, and tie human breath
divine, lure men tc ruin.
Il can drink it or | can let it
alone" be whispered to himself as
he ordered what be wanted, and
suggested to the gentleman behind
the bar the propriety of hurrying
up the same. That gentleman shook
his head with the firmness and i'm
movable conseryativeness of the
Bartholdi fund.
Drinks are cash, he said.
And Herbert Thorpe turned sadly
away, with the Great American
Desert raging in his parched throat.
He" let it alone. ."-Burdette.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

The prettlest lazy in Somerset
remarked to friend the other day
that she knew Kemp's Balsam was
a superior remedy, as it stopped her
cough instantly when others had no
effect whatever So to prove this
c. n. Boyd will guarantee it to all.
Price 80 cents and 81. Trial size
fraa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

Said bright-eyed little Julia, a
girl OF FIVE summers. who was giving
evidence of some bodily pain. when
asked by her mother if she bad the
side ache: mo, mamma; but I've
got the front ache"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

Real forgiveness is that which We
accord to a child who has been
naughty and is now penitent. For
giveness is the right thing from rs
all to each other. Full of faults
and shortcomings as We know our
selves to be, cannot we forgive the
like frailties of others?
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-02-18

People who wonder Why mems
hair get gray before their whiskeEe,
should remember that there is about
twenty years difference in their 70
spective ages.