New-York tribune., 1885-01-14
TIE TALK OF THE DAY.

TIE TALK OF THE DAY.
Aman in Montana publishes q card in the local paper
stating that he and Is satisfied that he
be cured by human agency. he therefore requests
the punlic TO pray for him a last resort.
Old age seems to be imparng the enterprise Of the
great Snowman 7. T. Barnum g little. Otherwise h
would have asked General Grant to place himself on
exhibition.
The periodical Ueber Land u,d Meer, has caused much
scandal the shores the Osphors account OF
Mahomet with thin legs and other bodily mperfectona
In consequence 1t Is for the present eSclhed IRON tns
Consantinorol!tan literary market American Register
Paris.
good story Is told about gentleman OF this city who
stammers. He was invited to dinner by friend. and
the principal dish at the dinner was cafs brains Know
ing his guests fondness for this dish, the host had
cautioned the members OF his family amone whom wass
college student. partake of 1t sparingy The yoans
student annoyed at the implied doubt as to his good
breeding. so when the waiter came around with tho
dish in question: the college young man very much on hn
dignity declined saying:
TbaLks. no; | have plenty OF brains"
"C-e-c-calrs brainsi" inquired the guest. !
He was long and lank and bony.
And was Also some what tony;
But careessly tried
Some rollers To ride
lie thought twas Texas pony.
now M nceSs w1G'i te eaS "StSFs %s assnen pSs sn0n
1t made her feel sick
case Of mlsapI rehension.
-(Centralia (Kansas) Journal.
War has broken out among the editors of Nebraska
They accusing each other of having red hair One
OF the accused persons gets In fine work by saying
that not only his hair hut his paper Is read This Joke
is OF the vintage OF 1SiO but has been worked nnoi
recently.
Dainala husband of Sarah BeYnharlt has made Paris
| laugh bon mot Some one remarked that sarahs
4 .hN.in I'm nfaH N m Ar1hi 1a- ar
dumped from the frying pan into the fire." Damala
replied: It seems to me that ne has only fled from one
Sahara to another" This Is far-fetched. Sarah may
look gTidron. or he shaped like skewer. bnt there
| Is no fryinc-pan or fire about her.-lNeW-orieala
| Picayune.
Everybody" says Mr.. Henry watterson. has had
his fling The sweet-accd KID with the velvet paw; the
iron-iawed PrvtectIonis with his axe grind; the
vapd newsr apcr critic with his stuffed club; the man
with grievance and the man with razor, all have
| got in their work. Now 1t is our turn"
In Sicily brides compelled by their husbands TO
to give tho Iunny chance to say that 5lcilian
husbands browbeat their wives 50 to speak
Professor Ashhurner. who has charge of the state
expressed in me Press that the recent OF
discoveries Of anthracite coal will prove to be false leads
this state in profitable quantities above the Potsyie
congomcrae. Wherever 1t Is reporred outside Of this
geological formation II may De regarded as deception
philadelphia Press
In the town OF Charleston r. T. Is monument 10 tina
Narraganset Indians. The names OF the commissioners
who had charge erection OF the monument are in
bold letters he easily read but the rest OF tho
inscription Is small to be read with difficulty by one
standing outside the railing that surrounds the struc-
ure This gives the passing stranger an idea that tie
commissioners buried there and he Is surprised when
! told that it is only erected to their gfory
Herr Kreutzhubcr is member OF the secret police
Being his way home alter midnight he observes on
the street lamp pacard Ha! these scoundreis ot
socialists have posted placard denouncng his
Majesty" said Kreutszhubvr TO himself Being deter %
Imnpost and having secured the trcasonsble docu-
ment he reads Fresh Paint. II Fliegende Blatter.
Philadelphia thinks it is metropolis because 1t Is to
| have line OF cable cars
| Good cornet playing requires hard lip To make
ones self for IL requires haid eheek' Lcty n'
every Guaraton for being great and famous player.
ew-Orleans Plcaylile
Mr. Eyarts's partisans make fees-ible defence Oh
| his action in the oleomargarine matter
Anew and important discovery OF borax has just been
anJ ossoy 81 Ger cent II pure borate OF line, The
discovery is likely to interfere with the monoioy
which has succeeded in controlling the supply OF bora1
| --tCbicaSo IriDuhe
The largest pun ball thus far reported was found w
Professor II. L. Call in Herkimer County N i'a
1877. 1t was rregulary oval IN outline, ana maca
aatteued, instead OF approaching the sphercai loiin "
Is common In the large pun balls. Its largest die'e'
WAS five feet four inches Its smallest four feet SIX
| while its height but nine aud nan ihcnc''
| William H. Vanderbilt will kindly observe ,n"' '"'
| country tips its nat to him. -[Phadeiphia rroSS'
one would imagine from the aggrieVeu way IN 10
| German newspapers have Of aludine 10 rth'e o'
marc,s's pitiful salary. that he is dssatisIed WIN ~
| insufficient sum OF $4,000 year. In that event Nv
would better come NewYork, and cast MS iot wiz
one of the Democratic halls" He could easily se'
elected to the Board of Aldermen, and might one day "
sheriff or Public Works Commissioner He would Lave
no difficulty to rub along then.
The highest priced pew In Grace Church, New-Yorks
Goat tho owner So When the rector, DIR. Hunting
ton nreached In Worcester his eyes would have fairy
stnck ont of their sockets n he had supp 0sed one
| would ever pay $4,000 o year to hear him preach
-lHartford Post
Industrial America is the title Of popular record
of progress In the arts and sciences II Handsomely
printed and illustrated and gives promise OF bcinss
| most useful and attractive publication.
sLast night was assigned report re on the w Mce
Side. and wrote 1t up In grand STYLE mace sa,v h
column article OF It; began ia this wsy: Suu =, ~
the still night air the shr cry Of Ere ana css -
light play along tho roofs edge had caught the cye -
midnight watcher icaped forth. no longer playful Dus
fierce and angry In III thirst and greed Lake sVvA~