The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1885-01-07
-- 49, $780,
THE DUDE
10 fhey make you tired3"

WD3SD9QB 109t13At - 0O@~
sDothey make you tired3'
well, I should huml"
The question and its metsphoricaI
but vigorously expressive answer were
inspired by the presence OF . Detroit
dude "a genuine specimen ofthe species)
in q Griswold street barber shop. The
person who proposed the question was
. gentleman who subsequently ex.
planned that the sight Of q dude or even
= dudeling (who merely parts his hair
in the middle), had almost Is marked
m effect on him as water has on . dog
affected with hydrophobia.
II git quite a procesh of them things
in my chair" continued the barber,
with . curious movements
cross between q chuckle and q shudder
-"but jest as soon's warm weather
comes I'm goin'to rattle 'em out, now
don't you forget it."
"Whyl Are they not profitable Gus
tomers?"
sNot muohl There's that little TELLER
that just went out. We call him Lizzie
here in the shop-when he amt around
because he's more like q girl goln' to
her first ball than . man. l don't
isposeh he's more'n 20 years old, but his
git-up's q killer. He come in Z the
night Of the swell skatin' party at NC
Quadeis rink, with q claw-hammer coat
on under q taller (new market you
know, that pretty nearly dragged on
the ground, q white handkerchief spread
out under his vest, and the darndest
~toothpicky pair of toothpick shoes on l
syer got onto-and I've seen some
tough ones in my time. I was waitin'
on . customer, and SO this teller he set
down in that very chair you're in now,
hauled out q one-eyed eye-glass, stuck
it into his right eye, screwed up The
ripht-hand corner of his mouth and
made outs if he was . readin'. MI.
Merryweather, there, laughed so much
he's been sick ever since.
when, I get through with my reg
ular customer I tried to fish up an ex-
cuse to git out of the shop, but the
dude got onto me and I was stuck. 1
had to bang his hair, then part it down
the middle q little ways and then plaster
it and bring the ear-1ocks forward:
After that be wanted hand-glass, and
then I had to arch up his eye brows,
which he wouldn't let me do till he'd
stuck that one-eyed glass in again"
"Well you made at least a dollar on
the job1"
"Got jest twenty-five cents. Why.
every time that Teller and his kind
comes around they want the ends OF
their hair trimmed and don't never
want to pay more'n ten cents for IT,
either"
"What is your observation with re-
spect to the Intellectual strength OF
men who part their hairin the middle?"
"Oh, that depends. We git Canucks
and Englishmen here sometimes who
do that and yet who seem to have horse
sense; but when it comes to our W
country folks (Americans I mean, not
Africans,) the fellers that part their
hair in the middle don't amount to a
hill of beans-can't talk about anything
but clothes and hair oil with now'n then
an exception bout gals. Never saw one
of them cusses that didn't think every
gal he knowed was dead gone on him,
and I'll bet money not one of EN- could
tell to save his soul when the May
flower come wei or whether Abe Lin
coin or Bismarck issued the emancipa-
ton proclamation"
Here Mr.. Merryweather seized the
opportunity to remark that none O
them dudes dast 90 to the roller skatin'
Kinks for fear all the ladies'd be after
EN- to skate to fast music, and that'd
sweat their bangs all out"
"S-s-s-h" commanded the boss as an
other dudelet swung open the door and
eame simpering along to tho enemy's
chair"
The boss winked wickedly, Mr.. Merry
weather stuffed one fist into his mouth,
the historian Of tho episode paid for
two weeks shines and the curtain drop
ped.-Detroit Free Press.