davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
The Fat IN the Fire.

Mrs. Miller is very stout woman.
At a distance she looks like a water
tank at railroad station. She is
the biggest woman in Waco. She is
very sensitive about her corpulence.
Alta social gathering she mentioned
incidentally that she had been suff-
ering from rheumatism, but, thanks
to the skill of DR.. Blister, she was
entirely cured of it.
"Dr. Blister is a very popular doc
tor" remarked Frank Cooper.
~ don't think he has large prac-
tice," said Mrs. Miller.
"Ifyour are his patient he is bound
to have Tremendous practice, /"
said Frank.
When Mrs. Miller gives her next
social gathering, it is safe to bet
that Frank will shine by his absence.
He will be the most absent man in
the whole town. Mrs. Miller is so
mad about it that she is falling off
at the rate of twenty pounds day.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
Strong Butter.

Old Deacon M--was the only
storekeeper in pretty little village
cup the country and used to take
great pleasure in catechizing the
youths who might visit his store.
One stormy day-business dull--the
deacon was quietly smoking by the side
of cheerful fire, when a ragged urchin
entered, who seemed a fit subject OH which
the deacon might exercise his questioning
powers.
"My son, what is the strongest thing you
know Off"
The lad scratching the bump Of commune
cativeness, through hole in his hat, re-
piled
"Why, recken marin knows ! She's
tarnal strong herself--she can lick dad at
any time; and she said that the butter I
got her 'tother day was the strongest she
ever seed yet--for that was so strong, she
couldn't hold it after she got it downlv
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
lightning i'm the Tropics.

In the plains of India, at the com
mencement of the monsoon, storms
occur in which the lightning runs
like snakes all over the sky at the
rate Of three or four flashes in a sec
ond, and thunder roars without a
break for frequently one or two
hours at time. During twelve
years residence in India l heard of
only two human beings, and think,
three buildings, being struck, al
though in parts of Lower Bengal
the population amounts to more
than 600 to the square mile
I always attributed the scarcity
of accidents to the great depth
Of the stratum of heated air
next the ground, keeping the clouds
at such a height that most OF the
flashes pass from cloud to cloud and
very few reach the earth. This idea
is supported by the fact that in the
Himalayas, at 5000 feet or more
above the sea, buildings and trees
are frequently struck. l have seen
more than dozen pine trees which
had been injured by lightning on the
top of one mountain between 5000
and 5000 feet high. In all the
British Islands thunder storms are
said to be more dangerous in winter
than in the summer, and such a fact,
if true, can be explained by the very
thin stratum of the air then the inter
vening between the clouds and the
earth.-Nature.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
sTTello,r Nose, said Cape, s'come

Hello Nose, said" Cape, 'scome
out and give up"
@You come in here and take me if
you want me!''
"You run and I'll shoot YOU
81 won'trun.
"Well, come out, thenw
81 won't !"
"Well, stand there"
'sI'll do it!n
"All right, 'said Cape; you'll stand
in that water and I'll stand here. /
can stand it if you can"
The moonshiner's teeth began to
chatter.
At last he said
Lee ~
"Hey7'
"I'll have to cave; I'm coming
cut
"All right
And the blockader, shivering and
freezing, came up dripping from the
creek and Lee marched him into
camp.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
Live Stock Notes.

This is q trying month for live
stock, and they will need extra care
until the pastures produce sufficient
heritage. All animals should be
kept from exposure to the long, cold
storms. We have seen many focks
and herds that were obliged to be in
deep mud continually through the
spring. The yards should be prop
erly drained, and the floors Of the
sheds and feeding-rooms kept dry.
Horses have heavy work at this sea-
son, and need to be fed and groomed
accordingly. Much depends upon
the driver; let him be patient and
gentle. Fretting horses are never
doing their best. Milch-cows thrive
when kept clean and fed with an
abundance of wholesome food. Let
the milking be done by careful hands,
otherwise new COWS will be spoiled,
and old ones dried off. Early lambs
with their dams, need warm pens.
As the days grow warmer, the ticks
get more active. Dip the infested
sheep in one of the preparations sold
for the purpose. For lice on calves,
pigs and fowls, nothing is better than
grease or kerosene. Speak now for
June pigs. Give brooding hens clean
nests, with food close at hand. Be
an ''early bird" in the spring..
american Agracultarist for March.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
lave for Something.

Thousands of men breathe, move
and live-pass off the stage of life and
are heard of no more. Why! They
did not a particle of good in the
world; and none were blessed by
them, none could point to them as the
instruments of their redemption not
a line they wrote, not word they
spoke could be recalled, and SO they
persisted, their light went out in dark
ness, and they were not remembered
more than the insects of yesterday
Will you thus live and die, 0 man
immortal ?-Live for something. Dc
good and leave behind you monu
ment of virtue that the storm of time
can never destroy. Write your name
by kindness, love and mercy, on the
hearts of the thousands you come in
contact with year by year, and you
will never be forgotten. No, your
name, your deeds, will be as legiblt
on the hearts you leave behind, al
the stars on the brow of evening
Good deeds will shine as brightly OF
the earth as the stars of heaven. DR.
Chalmers.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
The Newspaper Of To day.

The closer journalism gets to the
hearts of the people the more soci-
able it becomes. When on stills it
Numbered. Walking afoot among
the folks it gossips. Twenty years
ago the newspaper was the oracle OF
the few. 1t is now the friend and
companion of the many. The light
and personal gossip which makes up
so much of everyday life, long over
looked by editors, has become the
spice and flavor of journalism.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
An Answer Wanted.

. Can any one bring US case of kidney
or Liver Complaint that Electric Bit
tsrs will not speedily cure? We say
they can not, as thousands of cases
already permanently cured and who are
will prove. Bright's Disease, Diabetes,
Weak Back, or any urinary complaint
quickly cured. They purify the blood,
regulate the bowels, and act directly on
TIE diseased parts. Every bottle guar
anteed. For sale at SOC. bottle by
b. G. Williams Jr. 81 Bro.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
A Freeze out.
HOW REVENUE OFFICER SECURED A
MoONSHINER.
Atlanta Constitution.


Atlanta Constitution.
The revenue raiders have some
very thrilling experiences sometimes.
A few days ago a party of raiders
went up the Marietta and North
Georgia railroad. In the party was a
very quiet but utterly fearless young
fellow named Lee Cape. The
party reached distillery in which
five men were at work, and as the
place was being surrounded the
moonshiners discovered that some
thing was going wrong. They made
a wild dash, every man going differ
emit direction. Near by was a creek
fifteen feet wide and eighteen inches
deep. The night was one of the
coolest of the recent severe weather.
A distiller made bold dash toward
that creek. Lee Cape was on the
off side of the stream and put out to
intercept him. AS the moonshiner
approached one bank Lee came up
on the other, both painting from the
violent race. Without hesitation
the fleeing 'stiller plunged in, and as
he did so Lee Cape, from the oppo-
site bank, presented big revolve,
and said:
"Halt! y
The moonshiner stopped in the
middle of the stream.
"Don't rum said Cape.
"Hello, Lee" observed the moon
sinner, standing half-waist deep in
the icy waters.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28

Coat sleeves take precedence Of all
others.
There is return offavor to glace
kid gloves.
The shirts Of strait dresses are worn
shorter.
Gold-beaded white laces are COM
ing in vogue.
Mantle visits and jerseys are things
of fine art
Plush tea gowns are the preferred
wear of London society women.
Cravats are again worn by men,
and red ones are the most in favor.
There is rage for patching all
parts OF dress and all its successo-
ries in Paris.
The low catogan couture rivals
Lady Teas with towering mass of
pugs and curls.
Bodices, pointed back and front
and quite long in the waist, are fea-
lures in spring costumes.
Straw hats heavily trimmed with
cloth pinked out on the edges are
among millinery novelties.
Changeable Surahs are combined
with velvet brocade Surahs in dressy
toilets for spring and summer.
Waists grow longer, basques short
err collars higher, shirts fuller, hats
and coiffures higher, dress less artis-
tic.
New coaching parasols have glided
frames with twenty four ribs, and are
in the shape of Japanese umbrellas.
Tailor made dresses are now in
almost endless variety, and are very
different things from those simple
ones first made.
The parasol of high form is Of
transparent grenadine gauze, broche
with velvet, and trimmed with lace
and jet fringes.
Bodices of ball dresses are some
times SO low as to seemingly consist
merely of wide waist belt and two
slender shoulder straps.
The high coifures adopted for ev-
ening toilets are dressed with feathers,
ieweled combs, diamond-headed pins,
and strings of pearls.
The SO called tailor. made suits of
the incoming season lack the charm
Of simplicity that attached to the
Puritan like garments of the past.
The latest fancy in short petticoats,
to be worn only in the coolest wealth
er and in the street, is to make them
of satin or alpaca and line them with
channels.
It is said that for summer wear
light fabrics will be made, with cor
sage pleated on the shoulders, cross
ed in the front and belted at the
waist, the sash or belt having long
opJo,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
Figures are wonderful things. Here is

Figures are wonderful things. Here is
asample OF what can be done with them
BY placing one grain of corn on the
first square of a chess board, doubling
the number OF grains for each succeed
ing square, the quantity Of corn required
for the whole board OF sixty four
squares would fill 1874, 1915 barns, each
holding 100000 bushels of 100000
grains each, bushels round numbers III
the United States grow 1900, 000. 600
bushels each year it would require a lit
tie over $50 years to make enough.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
These are Solid Facts.

The best blood purifier and SYSTEM regulate
or ever placed within the reach of suffering
humanity, truly is Electric Bitters. Inactiv-
ity of the Liver, Billiousness, Jaundice
Constipation, Weak Kidneys, or any disease
of the urinary organs, or whoever requires
an appetizer tonic or mild stimulant, will
always find Electric Bitters the best and only
certain cure known. They act surely and
quickly, every bottle guaranteed to give en-
tire satisfaction or money refunded. Sold at
fifty cents bottle by e. G. Williams h Bro.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28

"When headache joins neuralgit, then
comes the tug of war;" A wise Gener-
al knows very we'll how to marshall his
forces. His first, last, and best charge
is made with bottle of Salvation Oil,
and the doughty foes lies cringing in
the dust.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
CATARRHAL HEADACHE.

think Ely's Cream Balm is the best
remedy for catarrh | ever saw. never
took anything that relieved me so quick
", and have not felt as well for a long
time. used to he troubled with severe
headache two or three times q week !,
bat since using the Balm have only had
one thas was very light compared with
for ones.--J. A. Alcorn, Agent, u. p.
r. r.. Co., Eatan, Colo.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28

OOI. n. Vt. lugeTS0H ucHfcIc0
lecture at the Bijou Theater, New
York, on Saturday night, 7th, upon
the theme Liberty During the
lecture he gave expression to the
following excellent sentiments upon
the institution of marriage, which
cannot but receive responsive thrill
from all who may read them:
81 believe" said he, Sin the insti-
tuition of marriage, and | have no
sympathy with those persons who
endeavor to oppose that institution.
The freside is the most sacred thing
on earth, and the love of husband
for wife is Godlike. | would rath-
er live with the woman | love in a
work Of sorrow than be forever in a
heaven Of men alone. We may for
get all other creeds with IMMUNITY
if we believe in the republicanism of
the Preside, the democracy of the
home and the absolute equality OF
husband and wife. | doubt if men
realize what it is to have won the
love Of good woman. lie who has
done that has made success in life,
even though he dies in the gutter.
No man has right to regard him
self as the boss of the household.
The family should be an affair of CO.
partnership. No man has a right to
assassinate the joy of a day in his
own house, and no woman should be
compelled to live with cross man.
Treat your wife like tender flower
and she will fill yo1r life with the
perfume of leve. And, to begin
with, court your wife. Don't think
your wife's love is not of sufficient
value to take care of after you have
secured it. The family circle should
be mans heaven, and if you are
blessed with children, burn up your
rods and let love and kindness rule.
The man who has not sufficient
brains to be able to govern his child
rem without appealing to their fear
is unworthy of being a father. You
may call me infdel, atheist or what
you please, but / intend SO to live
that when | die my children can
point to my grave and say, 'He who
lies there never gave us moments
pain Have your photograph taken
in the act of beating your sweet lit
tie child. 1t will be a comfort to
you, perhaps, after the child is dead
to go out in the spring time to its
little grave and there look upon the
photograph so taken. | want to do
what | can while | live to take the
whip out of the family. l know
that Solomon says, Spare the rod,
spoil the child, but | do not think
we need go for instruction upon the
best way of bringing up children to
man who was idiot enough to look
for domestic happiness by marrying
six or seven hundred wives"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28

Some one has declared conceit worse
than consumption, and the comparison
is true one. Many are the "conceit
ed" who cry down legitimate remedies,
and who delude suffering humanity
whose only salvation is the immediate
use of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28

REDUCE salaries everywhere, but in
crease them in schools. Now not one
in twenty teaches school except as a
stepping stone to something better by
and by; yet the teachers are of more
value than all the lawyers. doctors and
ministers rolled up together. - Beecher.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28

Touching extract from dime novel:
"Casting herself between her brother
and his intended victim, the fair Inez
exclaimed in voice that vibrated with
agony: "Redolpho, do not kill him for
| il you did, he would surely die. ~
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
Wisdom of the Classics.

Wisdom of the Classics
Hasten slowly. Cesar.
| Man is wolf to Erasmus.
| Wealth cannot change origin
Horace.
| Men, by doing nothing, learn to do
| ill-Cato
| How difficult is the custody ofglo-
| ry.-Syms.
The anger of kings is always Sc
vere.-Seneca.
Men trust rather to their eyes than
their ears.-Seneca.
An honorable death is preferable to
a degraded life.-Tacitus.
Whom hath not the inspiring bowl
made eloquent?-Horace
The fates lead the willing, and drag
the nwilling.-Horace.
Fortune, when she caresses man
| too much, makes him fool
Fortune gives too much to many,
but to none enough. MARTIAL
Fortune is made of glass; when she
shines she is broken. -Syrus.
1t proves a squeamish stomach to
taste of many things -Seneca.
Success makes some species of
wickedness appears honorable. Sen
eca.
Fortune may take away riches, but
| cannot deprive Of ourage.-Senica.
Even virtue is more fair when it
appears in beautiful person.-Vir-
gil.
| By flying, men often meet the very
fate they wish to avoid.-Livy.
| You should forgive many things in
others, but nothing in yourself
Arson.
| 1t is more easy to be wise for 9th
er persons than for ourselves.-Ro-
chefoucault.
| Happy is the man who is skilled
in tracing effects up to their causes.
Virgil.
| Alas how difficult it is to prevent
the countenance from betraying guilt
Ovid
] 1t is injurious to be precipitate. and
delay is also frequently injurious. =
fOvid.
| 1t is to live twice when you can en-
Joy the recollection of your former
ife.-Martial.
| There are some persons on whom
| virtue sit almost as ungraciously al
vice.-BOnhOurs
| An injury done to character is sc
great that it cannot possibly be esti
mated.-Livy.
They rise with difficulty, whose vir
| tues or talents are encountered or de
pressed by poverty.-Juvenile.
That man lives happy, and in com
mand of himself, who from day te
day can say, I have lived. Horace.
| Men in no particular approach Sc
nearly to the gods, as by giving safe
ty and health to their fellow men,
Cicero.
The man is deserving of praise
who considers not what he may do
but what it is becoming him to do
Seneca.
Contrasts make more intimate uni
ons than similarity of disposition.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28

According to the doctrine or the sur
vival of the fittest, the last man will IN
doubtedly be a tailor.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28

What Ais this Heart OF Mine m II
the title OF 2 song that lssaid TO be very
popular. a young friend suggests that 4
tne writer OF the song probably saw his
girl out riding with another fellow.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-03-28
e Il lie A G O
COTT AcE
ORGAN

Has attained standard OF excellence whisIs
admits Of no superior.
Il contains every Improvements that inventive
genius, skill and money can produce.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-11-27
Superfluons Flesh.

Mr.. E. G.. Fowler prints in the
Orange County Farmer the appended
note OF interest to self-inthralled VIC
Tins of superfiuous fesh-about the
experience Of q reformed painter by
trade. s.G i. sls i.s s5@% = :. zs7 ..-.'
+ HE weighed 24o pounds and found
himself growing fatter, SO much SO,
that the rounds Of the ladders. while
at work, were frequently breaking un-
der him. On our suggestion, he began
by eating about one third less in guam
4tity and he eliminated fats, sugar and
starchy foods from his bill OF fare.
I He used no tea, coffee or any stimu-
lants. For a few days, he found the
reduced allowance left him hungry,
but he soon got over it, when he re-
duced the quantity still less, eating
but little more than half as much as
originally in three months time he
reduced his weight to a IS pounds, a
loss of As pounds, and in six months
he dropped to 185. He said his health
became perfect under the new diet,
which almost entirely excluded ami
NAL food, using beef, mutton or. poul-
try once OF. twice 81 week. Pork and
kindred denominations were excluded
entirely Az last ACCOUNTS he was as
well as ever and remained &c shout
the same weight. 8
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-11-27
Table Mannars

Good manners at the table are al
most an infallible evidence of refine
ment and careful breeding. A safe
general rule to be followed there, as
we'll as elsewhere, is that OF considera-
ton for the feelings of those about you
"a desire to- avoid giving offense by
uncouth or coarse actions. It is we'll,
however, to remember the following
timely precepts: Eat and drink leis-
urely, and without nOise-it is not
appetizing to have the hog through and
it's accompanilnents brought wildly
to mind at a. meal. Do.not scrape
your plate, tilt it up to get. the last
drop Or wipe :it5 dry with q piece Of
Observation-Disclosures on the part OF the
host or hostess might be implied. Ii
you mix messes on your plate, it looks
as if your desire for hash had not been
gratitied. Carrying your mouth to
the food instead of the food to your
mouth, Indicates an acquaintance
with chop sticks or something worse
Taking chicken or other bones in your
fingers is uncouth, and might imply
ignorance of the use of knives and
forks. Loud talking, Or mysterious
whispered conversation are both in
bad taste for obvious reasons. Discus
sions of distefnpers, medical treat
ment, ETC., is trenching on dangerous
ground. Avoid sneezing by pressing
your finger against your upper lip I'M
der the nose. Keep your elbows at
your sides and your hands in your lap
when you are not eating, and do not
lounge in ANY way: or tip back your
chair. Many other points of etiquette
must be learned by observation
Home Companion.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-11-27
What Not to do for Sick People.

Don't make q fuss. Don't hustle,
don't fidget, don't progn osticate.
Don't hold consultations in or about
thepatient's room, recoun ting all your
own and your neighbours experienced in
what you suppose to have been like
cases. Don't meddle and adVisesan
experiment. 5tfWesallSneed al great deal
more letting alone than we GET and
when Wa are sick tits one Of our prime
needs. II Il mortuary lists were honest
ly tabulated, weshould find that more
people have been bored to death than
have died from neglect. The pest OF
the sick 70 om issthe inevitable friend
who drops in to echeer up" the pa
tient, the glistening eyes and flushed
cheeks which such ministrations evoke
being hailed as the evidence Of success
by the weil-meanings prosecutor.
DON tease the patient with ques-
tions about food or drink, but present
the proper quantity ats suitable inter-
walls; and Il ono articles Ii found toIbe
5disagreeable, quiet subst itnte anoth-
q without remark. Don't think, be-
cause the patient declines snol1ish-
,laent, that it becomes less necessary
80 administer it. By q,liet, firm, me-
xhodical persistence in present ING food
at stated periods, objections will be-
come feebler and cease, IN self defense.
Solid food need met be- insisted upon
a,nless By special direction OF the ply
Ian, hut mill and beef tea should
lleysr Dnlitt ss.s: