Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-03-04
BRIGHT BITS.
1T was damp day when Noah's mOther-in
law got lefty. Y. Journal.

1T was a damp day when NOah's mOther-ln
law got lefty. Y. Journal.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER: snow, Johnny,
is il wrong to steal?" Johnny: Eyes, mum "
''Why is it wrong?" 'YOu might got caught"
oil CitV Blizzard.
EDWIN lwho is fond of lecturing his future
bride) "Well, goodbye, Angie. don't know
how it is, but l always seem to leave you in
tears" Angelina (tenderly, through her
sobs)-"I-I-rd sooner you should leave me
in tears love, than never leave at ALL"
A YOUNG LADY TEACHER in one of our city
Sunday schools, whose class is composed OF
Youngsters. after drilling them on the plague
of Egypt for some time, asked one OF them
what was the third plague?" After slight
hesitation, he answered: THE people were all
turned into fleas. '-Hin0ston freeman.
MR.. SAMPLEsoN is a very irascIble man.
and is the habit of Furnishing his boys very
severely. Not long since he observed that
one of his sons needed new pair of pants.
He scOded the boy for wearing out his clothes
so fast. ''Pa, no pants can last any time the
way you hits replied the son reproachfully.
Teens Siftia0s.
IN the eighteenth century the government
granted commissions to such Highland chiefs
rs raised a certain number OF men for the
army. An English officer, who had been sent
into the Highlands to secure recruits, in
Quircd: ''Where are the volunteers "All
safe" was the reply; "they are tied up in the
barn. Glasgow Baltic.
THE London Literary World proposes that a
person devoted TO literary pursuits shall be
called 'literarian." This does sound ever
so much better than link Singer" "dIspenser
of hog wash" or even ''pastepot artist"
terms which have been used quite frequently,
especially in the classic circles of the Occl-
dent.-BOstOn Transcript.
TIE Hartford Post has trotted out a sort Of
feline scientist who saws that in just sixty
one years and twentysiX days there Will be
one hundred cats where there is one to-day
Each dwelling house of the future will, there
fore, need al back shed about the size of the
roof of a grain warehouse. and our grand
children will have to invent some kind of I'M
proved Calling for the rapid firing of boot
jacks.-ISdB francisco Post.
ION, Mr., SMITH," said a young lady at a
church fair, 81 want your help for moment"
Certainly" replied Mr.. Smith; what can
l do for youg'
Il have just sold tidy for SIS that cost Is
cents, and ] want you to tell me what per-
cenJage that TSP"
"A transaction of that kind, my dear Miss
B." said MIR. Smith. who is lawyer, gets
out of percentage and into larceny. "-DTdke'S
TrareIlerS' Md0asiee.
WHATS become OF Pluggers5" one friend
asked the other.
"Why, don't you know" was the reply
''He drank himself to death some time agr."
"Ah! l thought that would be his enc"
was the sufficient comment. ~ didn't
think he could last long at the rate he was
going. When did it happens"
''He was drowned last month"
but l thought you said he drank himself
to DEATH"
$50 be did. Drank too much salt water.'-
Pitts6urG Te1egrdJoh.
SHE CALLED THE BOSS.-A telegraph mes
senger boy called at a suburban cottage the
other day with a private message for the gen
tleman Of the house. The servant girl being
busy in the kitchen, the lady of the house an
swered the messengers ring. 81 wanter see
the boss, If yer please" the messenger said.
~ will take the message" said the lady. TITS
private" said the boy; Il was told ter give 1t
ter Their boss only" "Then you must see the
boss. Very well. Mary" the lady called to
the servant in the kitchen, there's boy
wishes to see you. "-BOStOn Courier.
FAREWELL TO ARTHUR
Soon, gentle, genial Chester A,
Y our manly form shall pass away
From politics.
In peace you may your soul possess,
No longer in the muddy mess
TO move or mix.
May care no more your rest destroy,
And may you at your ease enjoy
Your dearest wish
The lake and crystal streams to WOO,
And with the gaudy fly pursue
The festive fish. ". Y. World.