Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-07-10
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN girl is young she wants numerous
/ dole, but when she grows older her wants in
crease, and she desires several Ollars.-B0St0B
Bad0et.
A BROOKLYN BOY suddenly became black in
/ the face on the Fourth. He didn't know that
/ a skyrocket kicks before 1T leaps.-Ne1o
! York J0Drndk.
/ SCIENTISTS claim that cigarette smoking
| leads to idiocy. We do not know how true
| this Is but are satisfied that id Ocy leads to
! cigarette smoking .-7er0S SiftiR0S.
| HEREAFTER as soon as a Chicago policema an
1 Is dropped from the force, he VIII at once APP
/ ply for position as street car conductor. He
can knock down the fares, anyhow.-Ee-
/ cbange.
FENCING is the new craze among young
ladies. Wen, II they will occupy the fence
occasionally II will give the gate a rest, and
the whole business will Wear out together
DdaSctUe Breese.
A CONSEQUENCE: GAN alone, my dear child,
I'm AFRAID that husband of yours neglects you
| terribly. He's always at HE club when |
| call" es, mamma; but he's at home at
all other times. "-L0N6OR Fun.
A GIRL with three arms Is an attraction in
a Louisiana sde-show. She can play the
piano with two OF them and turn the music
with the other, thus saving the expense of
young man.-DrGke's TrGUsierS' Mdgdsine.
You SEE, he hadn't any business tact what
ever. He spent $4,000 in two years, and you
can't say that he made anything" "Oh. yes
can well, whatsdid he maker" HE
made an assignment. PHILADELPHIA CAL.
THE morphine habit, 1t is said, will cause
J tue mar TO drop on. La lies who are addicted
TO this habit should take the precaution to pin
their hair on securely before starting out for
! promenade. A few extra hairpins will defy
the opium habit.--NorT-isto1on Herald.
He was wrapped in dignity and an enor-
nous frock coat, and he sailed along with
the majesty OF line-o battle ship under full
canvas. Somehow all his dignity and majesty
fell from him, as hailstones do from a bald
] head, when bOotbac6 went up to him and
said: "Mister, you forgot TO take of the
/ pawn-ticket often the collar of your coat"
/ The hoy didn't wait to be thanked for his in
/ rmation.-7id Bits.
IT is something phenomenal to get a male
/ writer TO speak in correct terms OF the femi-
nine articles of attire. For example, fash
! ionable morning paper in l. ndon, comment
! ing upon the bridal costume OF young lady,
! SAYS that she wore only a simple gown. few
orange blossoms and a few trInkets in the
way Of personal ornament. We are curious
to know how the darling got to church with
out shoes and stockings. 1t behOoyes young
men To be careful IN cnronlcllng such affairs,
for they don't know what mischief they may
do.-A msricaR Register, Parts.
'YAs, BOSS" said Uncle Cephus, ''dem jon
sings am de highest toned colnred people in
de hull state De pride OBJ dem young ladies
IS sumpin dars past de understanding oh a
common nggah. You see, dcre grandfather
he died oh some kind OBJ a high-tOned msry
IN dc back, which de doctors called de cebrum
| spinal men IN letters, an upon dat fac de
| family hab been foundered No boss, I doan
| know what KIND oh men dem men in letters
| Is, but spec dey IS way IN. case Miss Libbic
she dun lowed dat oe family wus a. goin' TO
hao cote oh ans. Detroit Free Press.
A COOK -BoOK.--Scene, Cincinnati book
store. Enter countryman, who walked up to
/ salesman and said% "LOOk yer. mister, my
wife says that ere cookbook is no good.
Salesman-"W hat cook hOoK?' Countryman
nv ia fnVn NJ % arI,.
/ derstands her P's and Q's, but this ere book
is all fun of 'em. so she can't make head nor
tail OF EN-" Salesman-"COOk book! Why.
! that's Cooks synopsis Of Chess Openings' a
book on game that is played among 4 Ger
tain class of people" COuntryman-"Ye
don't say SO. Why, thought II war a cook
book. and Chess Onenings war the fellers
name Mot got II p.''-SOHfhera TRADE Gazette.
\ STATELY naval oGciai, gloryin1 in the
glittering .rappings OF his place, jumps onto
the front platform of Charlestown car The
distracted leather merchant, without taking
his eyes from the quotations OF the evening
paper, but seeing by quick corner glance
that man with brass buttons stands beside
him, mechanically pulls a ncEel from his
pocket ana shoyes lt under tho upturned nose
| OF the naughty and Mortified patrOman Of the
| seas. "Hugh! snaps the Ocoancan police
l man. The leather merchants eyes are taken
from the figures and turned to his companion.
| The former INDUCES in mid 90" and the
latter giyes him his back to size up.--Bost0a
Gt9Be.
Mr.. DUsENBERRY-"I see Or. Warren pre-
diets another demge.n Mrs. Dusenbcrry-
"a mere shower. no Doubt ooh. no, my
love. An immense deuEe: aud his theory is
n very scientihs one. He SAYS that during
10000 years the ice accum ulates ~ one pole
and melts at the other thereby displacing the
earth 3 centre Of gravity. The time will come
when catastrophe win occur. restoring the
centre OF gravity to the centre Of the earth,
and cause an immense dcluge,' Goodness
| alive! What are we going 20 do about IT,
lhat just shows that am always right. You
dragged me down here to the seashOre when
! | wanted TO 10 to one Of the mountain resorts.
10 would be safer there when tine water rose.
II ---" I'VE may be- able 60 get 30 the noun
| tains YETI "nOyOu think sOY" "Nes. The
doctor says the food viii occur 5000 years
! hence. PhjiddetDhid eau.