Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-25
BRIGHT BITS.

FOR SALE-Pug dog. Very intelligent, fine
looking. wears its hair short atd smokes
cigarettes. Perfectly lovely. Only cause for
selling is Jealousy 81 my husband. Address
Mamie Gldde, Newport KY State Journal.
TINE IS NoNRY.-A trntting horse that
could 90 IN 2:i9 was recently sold at the rate
OF Sl62 d secoud. IL Will be readily seen that
horse able TO trot mile an hour ought TO
be worth Just SjS3,2C0. Figures never lie
NtnRsQDotls TTibHRs.
a STRANGER stepped into lawyers Office
on Princess street the other DAY and inquired.
is this the water Office" The lawyer
answered promptly. NO. sir; this Is the
wind office. The water Office is next door
- Hume sgto'a az, g. Str.
THE simple throat bow, without ends,
which Is the proper finish Tor the short bon
net strings OF the season. -ays a fashion eN
change. "does not Interfere with the work
ings Of the chin" Husbands will read this
item with profound regret.-BUrJtn0tOR Free
Press.
FIRST C1TIZEN-'sI understand that Smith
has been quite i'll, but that he IS better now.
Do you know whether he is out of Danger"
Second Ctizen-'No h won't be out of
danger until after election"
FIRST Citizen -'' fter election What has
that got to DO with it"
second Citizen-"It is expected that the
town viii vote against license. "-BostOw
Transcript.
"IISFER that Chicago and st, Louis have
resumed friendly relations" said the judge to
the major.
What makes you think sop
only that see Chicago author has visi-
ted st. Louis and written book about the
place.
"Ah, indeed! / should very much enjoy
reading it. What IL its ttleg"
Letters from hell
"Ah- !'-PiHs5prg Chronicle.
WHAT HE WANTS IN HIS SOCK
She.
When you wake in the morn, oh, my dearest,
And gaze on your stocking with care
On the bright Christmas morn, dOst thou hear
est,
What Of all would you like to see there?
lie.
When wake in the morn, oh, my darling,
think it would save you much snarling
And gaze on my footing with care,
Ii some good solid darns saw there.
--GOOddips Sun.
"Y Is, Mr.. Goodman" said the grocer to
the minister who had dropped in for a little
chat -as you say, life Is short, but eternity is
long. 1t behooves us all to SO shape our course
| in this world that We may inherit the bless
lngs OF the world to come. With me, sir,
honesty IN business is not policy; it is some
thing more than that, something higher,
"Piease, mister" asked child with a shawl
over her head: 'has yer got emmy next years
maple sugargh
"Well, sissy hesitated the grocer. with
| rather dubious look in the direction of the
dominic, tits trlfe early in the season yet,
but may have little on hand. How much
do you want?"--Net0 York Su1t.
~ COULD talk plain when 1 was a pup"
| barked 10 10, the Russian dog faced boy. to
reporter at the Ninth and Arch street museum
| yesterday. But the Turkish war came along
| Just as | was getting over a combination OF
/ measles and mango, which struck me in my
| dual capacity of boy ana pup. In my weak
| state tackled the name OF Gen. WipeyOurchi-
| nohsky, who defeated the heather at the
battle OF Pnlldownvourve.tovich and 1t broke
my articu alton all up. hut, thank you. am
/ better now. can pronounce TIN aud Tche
rnazeh, and shall get along to PhilipDopos
! Widdin a few months. Then I'm going home. "
You won't be here AGAIN."
"No,' said lmpresarlO Brandenburgh sad
| y, "Joseph Joseph Will never pay another
visit to this city - PhiEddsip hid Press.