davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-01-31
THE HUMORISTS.

An Englishman has lately married
his aunt. Being now his own uncle, he
will wear his watch pretty regularly.
Boston Pest.
The Princeton Review has suspended
publication, "but," the Norristown Her
aid remarks, eve have the Cen us Re-
ports of 1880 left"
"The line must be drawn somewhere"
murmured the tramp as be nauled in
the weeks washing and withdrew to his
haunt in the woods. n. Y. Journal.
The Western Union Telegraph Com
pany has got the bulge ON the messenger
boys in Washington. 1t obliges them to
ride bicycles, and they can't go slow
without falling off. Burlington Free
Press.
,-"I am surprised, John" said an old
lady when she found the butler helping
himself to some of the finest old port.
$50 am |, ma'am. | thought you had
gone out" was the reply. Detroit Post.
Translated from French novel;:
"Casting herself between her brother
and his intended victim, the fair Inez
exclaimed, in q voice that vibrated with
agony: 'Rodslpho, do not kill him, for if
you did he would surely die" Elk.
Mr.. Beecher says he don't read the
SAYS the great preacher. "he cried: |
don't" That is a fact. When David
was in trouble he confessed his sin and
caught in a similar way, simply lied
out of it. Peoria Journal.
Something happened to me yesterday
that will never happen to me again If
live to be thousand years old, remark
ed Gilhooly to Gus De Smith.
"What's that?"
81 was forty years Old" Sifiings.
Boston Girl-"Oh, please don't peram.
bulate so fast. Poor little doggie is SC
prostrated as to be hardly cognizant Of
his surroundings"
Her Escort-"Oh, don't worry about
your dog; he is not tired"
Boston Girl--"Not tiredl Look at hi:
pendant tongue, and just see how he I'M
mentionabies." Ex.
"Lend me your ear a minute," re-
marked Mrs. Brown to her husband the
other evening.
"Will you give it back to me?" he liz
qulred, with mock anxiety.
"0l course l VII, you idiot! Do yol
suppose want to start tannery?"
She got the ear. New York Graphic.
"Hew are you, general?" said a com
mercial drummer, addressing tall maj
in green-glass goggles in Kentucky
town.
''I'm no gineral, Pm only a kernil."
"Ah, excuse me-"
"Yes; that man over on the northwes
corner of the stove is gineral. He Fl
in the war. Us fellers who STAYED te
hum is only kernils." Chicago Telegram
The following personal paragraph
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-01-31
BECAME KNOWN BY WIRE.
Cute Tricks of Telephone Girls Who
Listen.

The young ladies in the telephone de-
partment are growing pretty well ac-
quainted ever the wires with the law
A well-known member Of the legal pro-
fession has been away for little time.
He has been in the nabit of ringing up
that telephone girl and having her put
him on to" his home, and his message
has generally been:
"Very sorry, dear, can't get home to
dinner"
He returned from the East a few days
ago, and the other evening he ruDg the
telephone bell. 1t was answered:
Fourteen thousand and twelve wants
25,O24." =,
"Haha ~ came over the wires. Back
from the East? Is it the usual message?
San Francisco Chronicle.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-01-31

fond father presented his fOur.year-
old boy with trumpet, with which he
was greatly infatuated. All DAY the boy
footed away delighted. and at bed time,
when his grand mother told him to Put
the trumpet down and say his praycrs,
the little fellow said:
"Oh, no; pll tell yor what let's do,
grandma; YOU pray and Pil keep on blow
ing" Chicago Sun.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-01-31

muscular figure impressing one as the
very incarnation of health and endur-
ance. He has military yet nonchalant
air, his brown eyes meet you squarely,
with the glance of one born to command,
and his voice is peculiarly pleasant as i'll
deep tones he rolls ofrthe musical dialect
of his mother tongue.
Some one has found in the Gentle
mans Magazine for 1913 notice of the
double marriage of Rev. p. Bronte, faith
er of the Bronte sisters, and Rev. W.
Morgan. The two married cousins, and
each one pcrformel the marriage cere-
mony for the Other-an incident which
has escaped the pen OF the Brontc BIZ
graphels. Clergyman were scarce in
that part of England then, which is held
to account for the arrangement
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-01-31

The yucca plant is to be utilized in
the manufacture of paper, it is said. The
yucca plant ought to be just the thing for
making playing cards. Lowell Courier.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-01-31

Sir Edward Thornton, at one time
British Minister at Washington, succeeds
Lord Dufferin as Minister 10 Turkey.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
sANGER BKOs.
OF Dallas, Tex are Now Holding
Their Great Clearing Sale.

We inaugurAted this sale on June
20, and our store has enjoyed an un-
usually large patronage since then.
Those visiting our establishment find
the goods at the same low prioes we
quoted for this occasion In che Dallas
Herald, We have the interest Of our
out-oi-town customers AT heart, and
we herewith give them list of many
OF the most interesting offerings. Read
these prices, favor ue with IN order,
and you will be benefited
Fifty pieces of summer silks, includ-
ing all those formerly sold ut SOC, and
60c yard, are now 37lc
Printed China silks, twenty-eight
inches wide, mt 81 u yard; former price
81 80.
Twenty-Five pieces OF fancy striped
nuns yelling at l2lc. per yard. They
are the latest novelties and are worth
800, a yard.
Fifty pieces Of black plaid worsteds
al Zoe. ayard; worth 26o
Fifteen pieces double-wldth nuns
yelling, all wool, 37lc. u yard; we'll
worth 65c. per yard.
Printed satteens at l2lc. yard;
worth 25c.
solid-colored lawns at lOc. yard;
reduced from l6c.
Linen lawns at l2lc.; worth zoe.
Embroidered chaInbray Swias pat.
terms nj ~ aud s. each. They sold
readily at $3.50 and 81.
Ladie' hose, full regular made solid
colors, nj 25c. pair,
Ladies' hose (limited quantity, solid
colors, Isle thread, SOC, h pair.
IadIeal black ailk hose Mt g5p "A DalF
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
With Suicidal Intent.

Last night about 1880 o'clock
woman by the name OF Mary Moody
who lives at the northeast corner
of Twelfth aud Houston streets, went
to drug store and purchased twenty.
five cents worth OF morphine, which
upon going home she swal-
lowed. Her irrational talk
some time afterwards excited sus.
piclon and doctor was sent for. DR..
Barter responded and commenced
working with her about IL o'clock, but
to no avail, for she having taken the
drug an hour and half be.
fore, he could not resus-
citate her, and Mt 8 o'clock this
n. M, although kind friends and the
physician were still at work with her,
she seemed perfectly dead, and it was
the opinion OF all that she could not
be saved. She had u quarrel with her
daughter, who also took morphine
early in the evening, but was resusci-
tated, immediately after which the
mother took the fatal dose.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
OUTRAGEOUS ASSAULT.
Jas. Hamilton Attacked by Number of
Persons, and, but for the Time
ly Arrival Of officer
Darby, Would Have Been Badly
Handled-some Of the Guilty
Ones Arrested

Night Lefore last between 10 and IL
o'clock officer Darby was telephoned
to go with the greatest possible haste
to the tailor shop OF Mr.. Morley, be-
tween Eighth and Ninth ON Houston
street. Mr.. Darby hastened down,
and, meeting n gentleman In front OF
Turner's stables, WAS told that mob
had the house OF Mr.. Morley eurround.
ed, awaiting the appearance Of one
Jas. Hamilton and wife, who were In.
side but wanted 10 get out and 40 TO
their home, rs they were only there
on visit.
The officer went to the rear OF the
house indicated and ON entering had
the light turned down that he might
see what was going on outside. He
didn't have to watch long, however,
TO verify the story, for he soon dis
oerned mems forms moving about In
the weeds near the back door, and on
going to the front win
dows like scene greeted him.
He was not long IN determining upon
course of action, for when he had
thoroughly satisfied himself that the
representations made him had not
been exaggerated, he told Mr.. III anil.
ton and his wife TO 20 on out the front
door, while he himself remained lust
inside the room awaiting develop.
ments. The man and his wife
had not taken three steps
when, with perfect shower
OF oaths and horrible epithets,
crowd OF probably six or eight,
headed by one VIM. Vanhagan and
his wife, sprang forward aud were
almost in the act OF striking them
down, when the officer bounded from
the doorway and In an instant WAS
between the man and his assailants
He took hold OF the foremost man to
stop him, when he WAS closed In upon
by the crowd. He sounded keen,
shrlll call for assistance and, drawing
his revolver, commanded the crowd To
fall back, which they did, though re.
luctantly, He then called to the man
Hamilton to go on with his wife home,
and he kept the crowd before him and
ordered them into the house at the
point Of the weapon, where he de-
tanned them until Hamilton had
had sufficient time 10 get away
Warrants have since been served upon
William Vanhagan and wife and Tom
Galloway, and II Is probable that other
arrests will follow.
1t will be remembered that this man
Hamilton was badly beaten up about
one week ago, and that, too, In most
mysterious manner.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05

two oomretent phyeicians to take
charge OF him. He knew them from
the first day, allowed them TO feel his
pulse, showed his tongue, and directed
the hand OF the attendant doctor 10
the painful swelling, which had TO be-
cut oren afterwards, there being
danger OF sufloca,ion. The doctors
would not use chlorofOrm, out OF regard
to the affection of the lungs; but,
fearing the chlmpanzee would
not keep quiet during the
operation, engaged four strong men to
hold him. The sick animal, did not sub.
NIT to that rough treatment, but ex.
oitedly pushed the men aside, and
then, without any oompulslon what.
ever, but, In compliance with the
fondling words OF his nurse, In whose
lap he was sitting, offered his throat.
The Fort Worth Pharmacy Co. sell
ali kinds OF patent medicines, sell all
kinds OF toilet soaps, sell all kinds OF
perfumery, sell all kinds OF brushes
and combs. All prices reasonable.
The operation was performed, tho
ape never flinohing or complaining.
He felt afterwards much relieved, aud
expressed his gratitude by pressing
fervently the hands OF the physicians
and kissing hls nurse But his life
was not spared he died from pneu-
monla. Meekly and patiently he
bere his long agony, and died more
like q man than an auimal, The
doctor told me that never In his
life, AT any death-bed, had he felt
an emotion similar to that which
seized him At the humble couch OF
the poor monkey. In Berlin, many
beautiful eyes shed tears when the
news of the sad end OF my widely
known and generally pettod ohimpan-
zee WAS spread.
The Fort Worth Pharmacy sell
camphor that will protect your wool
chs from moths during the summer
months. We sell insect powder, the
best on earth, that will Kill mosqul-
toes, lleas, cookroaChes and ilies.
There IL no use OF buying mosquito.
bArs. Put out the light In your ROOM
blow the inject powder freely around
the room. IL will kin every mosquito.
We sell chloI oborine that will remove
paint, grease or dirty spots from cloth,
silk or Kid,
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
Statement OF C. II. Scott.

FORT WORM, TEX July I, 1885,.
To the Editor OF tho Gazette:
DEAR SIR: An article appeared in
your paper this morning in which
am falsely assailed. | trust you will
allow me space to contradict the accu.
sations.
Said article states that over one year
ago travelling Snowman came TO Of
ticer Buchanan and pointed me out
That cannot be true, for | have only
been In Fort Worth seven and half
months, having first co me here on the
18th OF November, 1854. Said travel
ing Snowman, whoever he was,
Is reported to have said that !
had been his fathers partner. That
Ia another false statement, for
| never was in partnership with any
person In my life, not even at the
present time. | am not partner OF
the firm of scott II Scott, nor never
have been, the said firm being COM
posed OF q. w. Scott aud M. A, Scott,
and am simply in the employ of said
firm.
In reference to certain papers being
served on me, state here most posi-.
lively that l, directly, do not owe any
person one cent. The paper or cita.
ton served on me yesterday by O ilicer
Buchanan was simply ON notes made
by three parties in my favor, and by
me Endorsed and sold To bank In Lon.
don, Can. The uotes were considered
good at the time, and ] supposed had
been paid long since The paper
served yesterday was simply, / sup
pose, to hold me and obtain judgment
IN Canada against all parties. The
total amount OF said notes sued IL only
S359.27, which includes principal aud
interest, "A wonderful thing, surely, To
make public through the press. Fear
ing from the tenor Of the articles in
the papers that persons might thl ak
the amount for which | was served
was something enormous, | shall con
slider II special favor II ell with
whom | am acquainted Will. call at
the store Cf Scott n Scott, No. l0i
Houston street, and examine
the paper and learn the true
amount, and they will there find that
what have stated IL true.
Said paragraph further states that |
left Canada two years since. | only
left Canada on the 2ith day of Sep.
tember, 1854, little over nine months
since, and | have been mailing letters
to and receiving letters from Wing
ham, In Canada, ever since. Every
person there knew distinctly where /
was. am neither lost nor hidden |
came South for the benefit OF my
health, and | purpose to return TO
Canada about Christmas.
G. T. SCoTr.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
A DOUBLE ACCIDENT.

ALLIANCE, Ohio, July A south.
bound freight train, u double header,
on the Cleveland Il Pittsburg rail-
way broke In two when near Saline.
Vile last night. Seventeen cars and
an engine were thrown from the track
which was completely DISTRACTED. No
one was hurt, The night express for
Pittsburg ON the same road was
transferred to the Plttsburg, Fort
Wayne n Chicago at this place.
When near Latonia the express
overlook an east-bound emigrant train,
and before the engine could be stopped
II had plunged into the empty coaches.
The engineer, pilot, fireman, brake
man and baggage master OF the eN-
press were badly Injured, The opera.
tor at Sallnevllle ~ said to have been
engaged In selling tickets aud let the
express pass without giving orders.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
A OnIMpANlEr.

from the Popular Science Monthly
l was once the owner OF highly
educated chimpan2ee. He knew all
the friends CT the house, all our NO,
quSintanoes, and distinguished them
readily from strangers Every one
treating him kindly he looked upon
as personal friend, He never felt
more comfortable than when he was
admitted To the family circle and al
lowed TO move freely around, and
open and shut doors, while his jOys
Nere boundless when he was
assigned place at the common
table, aud the guests admired
his natural wit and practical Jokes
He expressed his satisfaction and
thanks TO them by drumming furious.
~ on the table. In his numerous mo-
ments OF leisure his favoriis occupa-
ton consisted In Investigating careful.
ly every object In his reach he lowered
the door al the stove for the purpose OF
watching the fire, opened drawers,
rumaged boxes and trunks and played
with their contents, provid d the lat
ter did not look suspicious 10 him,
The Fort Worth Pharmacy Co,
sell the best saltwater in the world,
and use only pure ffuit juices
Obedience TO my orders and attach
ment 10 my person, aud TO everybody
caring for him, were among his oATdi.
nal virtues, and he h red me with his
persistent Wishes u accompany me.
lie knew perfectly bis time for retir.
ing, and WAS happy when some one OF
us carried him 10 the bed room like q
baby. AZ soon AS the light was put
out he would jump into the bed and
cover himself because lac was ARA d
OF the darkness. His favorlte meal
was eupper with tea, which
he was very fond OF, pro-
vided II was largely sweetened.
lie slipped II from the cup, and ate the
dipped bread slices with a spoon, hav-
ing been taught not 10 use the fingers
In eating. A man could hardly behave
himself more gentlemanly at table
than did that monkey
The Fort Worth Pharmacy sells
more goods at retail aud fills more pre-
scrlptions than any drug stole In Fort
Worth. What In the cause OF lt?l
He was especially engaging In his AS.
ISOLATION with my children, always
gentle, obliglDg and tender, and they
liked him az n good fellow aud pretty
playmate When he was first intro
duced 10 my little girl, who was then
six months old, lac seemed peIplt xed
and observed her with establishment,
M II specializing whether that little bit
OF creutu,e was really human be-
ing. At last bis mind was mace up;
he touched her cheek with one finger
and then offered her his hand In friend
ship. My chlmpAnzee eonyersed very
little With other animAls; like the apes
in general, he was afraid Of the big
ones and desplsed the smaller ones.
He was always around us and We, on
our side, did not make any difference
between him and n man.
The Fort Worth Pharmacy Co., sell
the beat cigars ut the lowest prices,
The animal fell ili OF mumpe, fol-
lowed by pneumoniA. Ihad seen many
click ohimpAnseea, but never ono OF
them behaved NJ he did. engaged
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
A Fact Well stated.

In the states which are not iayofvd
with Democratic Representatives "a
congress the administration hss much
more success In making i,s official
changes than In the states where they
exist. This does not afford q reasou
why the number OF Democratic rpp'
resentatives should he less, but II lndi'
Gates that the government can get
along very well without thelflnlertel.
enCo In executive appointments, u
they persist In II, the likelihood lsthat
the Democratic representation ~ the
next congress will bo considerably fe.
duced. There Ia not DsmoeFaS"
district In the country In which ~
majority Ia large enough to pfOlee 3
member from the ELECTS Of ohnoxlt
attempt TO control the patronage 81 lNe
government In hls own Interest.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
TEXARKANA.
A Gam bier Leaves His Creditors in
the Lurch.


Special to the Gazette.
TExARKANA, Ark, July About
fifteen months ago man, going by
the nameof Charles Peck, made his
appearance In town rs gambler 10y
profession. He possessed fine per.
sonal appearance and good address,
and, "a he was man OF
good habits and fair education, he soon
acquired n standing much above his
fellow.men Of the sporting feat srnity.
About six months ago he became a
partner with Col. j. w. Markham
in the Paragon saloon, and
later on opened col.
ored saloon, which he furnished
at considerable cost He wore good
and faultless- fitting clothing, and az
fected aristocratlc airs aud seemed TO
have plenty of money, which he spent
freely but not iavishlngly. A short
time ago he conceived the
idea Of opening up third
saloon in n fashionable quarter OF the
town, and In order to do 40 IL now APP
pears that no was forced TO borrow
nom number OF his friends In vari-
GUS sums. Mun2esheimer & Kline
Endorsed his paper for about $1,000
on the Citizens bank, and
the same falls due In
day or two. He made large mum.
Der OF other debts for greater or less
sums and no one was thinking OF
danger when this morning the newa
was made known that Peck had sold
out on yesterday, and during last
night spirited himself away,
In what direction no one
knowF, leaving his creditors
one and all In the luroh. Investiga.
lions show that this II not Peck's first
escapade Of this sort, and that his real
name Ia George Benniis IL IN tstl-
mated that he Is short mere altogether
more than $4,000.
In the district court the case of ex.
Recorder Weeks va. the City Of Tex
arkana for 5000 salary came up for n
final hearing, and resulted In "A hung
jury OF nine 20 three in favor OF the
plaintiff,
Jerry Lewis, the negro who wac,
during the irst week OF the terns,
convicted Of ontraging an old negro
woman I'm the country two miles from
town, was granted new trial, which
Will not come up before next Novem.
Der. The colored people are generally
very indignant over the granting Of n
second trial 10 Lewis, whom they re-.
gard a. guilty In the worst degree,
and want him hung.
Col j. III. Mol[eever, one OF Texar.
kana's oldest citizens and first business
men, was Thursday night united In
marriage 20 Mrs. Bennlck, moot
amiable and cultured lady who, until
lately, resided NJ Delhi, La.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-07-05
INTERESTING READING.
MONKEYS ar DRnAKrAsr.

FROM the BROOKLYN Union,
An English gentleman who lived In
India during his early life, tells au
amusing story OF some pranks played
10y monkeys. They were almost IA
tame and playful M kittens about his
house and there were great number
OF them. He says;
II was married In India, aud en-.
gaeed for our home house fourteen
milee or 30 from any other habitation
OF white men. On the morning OF our
arrival my wife went 10 change her
travelling dress, while the servants
laid breakfast on the veranda over.
looking the river. AT the clatter
OF the plates there began to
come down from the big trees
that overshadowed the house, and up
from the trees that grew In the ravine
behind II, and from the house roof
itself, from everywhere, n multitude OF
solemn monkeys, They came up
singly and In couples and in families,
and took their places without noise or
tdss on the veranda, aud sat there like
an audience waiting for an entertain.
ment to commence. And when eve
rything was ready, the breakfast all
laid, the monkeys all seated, went In
to call my wife.
Break fAst Is ready and they are all
waiting, said L.
The Fort Worth Pharmacy Co,
corner Main and First streets, IL the
largest retail drug store In Fort
Worth
who are waiting" she asked In
dismay. II thought we were going
to be alone and | was lust coming out
In my drcssing.gown,n
"Never mind,h said. "The poo,
pie about here are not very fashion
ably dressed themselves. They wear
pretty much the same things all the
year round 4
And 30 my wife came out. Imag.
Inc, then, her astonishment.
IN the middle Of the verRnda stood
our breakfast table and all the rest OF
the space, IN we'll ~ the ratings and
steps, were covered with an immense
company of monkeys, as grave az pos
sible and "a silent aud motionl,ss ma
II they were stuffed. Only their eyeo
kept blinking and their little round
ears kept twitching. laughing heart.
lily, at which the monkeys only looked
the graver, my wife sat down.
"Will they eat anything?u said she.
TRY them" said
The Fort Worth Pharmacy Co IL
the beat retail drug store IN Fort
Worth,
80 she then pickcdup biscuit and
threw II among the company,
Three hundred monkeys Jumped ur
In the air like one, and Just for one in
| slant there was riot that dehed de
1cription. The next instRnt every
monkey WAS sitting In It's place IA sol
emu and serious ~ II ii had never
moved, Only their eyes winked anC
their ears twitched.
My wife threw them another biscuit
and again the riot, and then another
aud another. But ut length we haC
given away all that we had to give
and stood up TO go. The monkeys a
once rose -eVery monkey on the We
randa, and, advancing gravely To Tia,
steps, walked down them In solemn
procession, old and young together
and dispersed for tho day's occupation
The Fort Worth Pharmacy Co
make u speciality OF physioiRn'
| prescriptions, and all prescrip
tions there are oompounde,
by tho proprietors, John A. Cfavel
and Joseph w. Little. We do gu
work, aud try to do IT well. Pleas,
call and see us