The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-16
TWO EXTREMES.
New Work MAN and Express.l

set down, in view of the occasions which
suggested it After eating mans salt it is
surely ungracious to throw the cellar at his
head But it comes to me that an invitation
to dinner doesn't carry an obligation to be
blind to anything but the food and drink.
May dine alone forever If l speak unkindly
of my hosts claret and may onnaise But
shall my consumption of these delicacleS
blind me to Lueullus' moral obliquitiesf
And suppose, at table, am struck with
ideas that couldn't possibly have hit me II
had been anywhere else Must the thought
be stiffled~ by the trufiles and lettuce de
prive society Off lecturef l would rather
1--we on cold potatoes in a garrett than dine
at the best houses under bonds not TO Ventl-
late nv views at the proper time. Kindness
and Quail befog the intellectuals of too many
social philosophers,
Going in the other night to a solitary din
ner at the club, it happened that fell in
with George Glovefit coming out, on his
way home; and plying my lorn bachelor
condition, George, in the goodness of his
heart, asked me off-hand to 60 with him. |
said would, partly because | was lonesome
and partly from very juicy memories of the
only repast had ever enjoyed at his house.
To be sure, it was formal and prearranged
ceremony, and covers were laid for twenty.
But thought man who could set out such
Chateaux Margaux and terrapins glori-
fed that dinner, and who had, besides, such
a stirring and capable wife-the Wainscot-
ting women were all famous managers, Il
thought that man bound to live well every
day of his life.
As We went along, however, l noticed
n absaIO nd
"The fact is" said he, alphabetically, a
don't often ask any one to take pot-luck in
this way-without giving Mrs. Gloveft pre-
vious notice, you know. SO if there is any
little drawback to the cuisine l hope you
won't mind"
begged him with feeling to be perfectly
easy. l had no misgivings about his do
nestle arrangements l even slapped him
facetiously on the back and said be was
only trying to further surprise me with the
high level of perfection in his kitchen, and
wondered what delicate morsel the old gour-
mand had in store for me-
George left me in the gorgeous drawing
room, and went up to announce me to
his wife. The first thing that struck
me in this splendid apartment was
the rich, warm color of the velvet hang
warmth there In fact, / shiverei VIC
lently until maid scurried in and lighted
up wook fire. and Pm bound to say my
comfort wasn't increased by the following
dialogue that foated family down from the
topof the stair case:
well, Mr. GloYeft," l heard in
womans sharpest tones, "you have behaved
very h andsomely, I'm sure. So thoughtful
l. l.
when we're alone To bring an old, sharp
eyed, gossiping epicure home when I've
pinched and scrimped the whole year to
keep up, and not tell the whole world how
poor we were. Well, you may take the con-
sequences. I'll manage the house no longer
you brutep And then / heard door
SIAM and / knew Gloveft had bounc ed
away to his dressing room.
Mrs Gloveflt came down shortly after
with a sweet smile and welcomed me cor
daily. She hoped l wasn't very hungry,
for really they dined shockingly late. And
must be content to take them quite en-
famille. And then she dismissed the mat
ter as though she never gave it another
thought, and fell to talking about society
matters, in which she took mighty inter
est and eminent part. Meanwhile, heard
doors opening and shutting, and pervading
hustle as is something was being done in a
great hurry.
P resently George came down in his dress
coat, and after another furnishing half hour
the butler announced that dinner was served
He was fine, portly, red-faced beef-eater,
and l scarcely wondered if he wasn't ON
board wages. l took in Mrs Glovefit, of
course and George followed with Mrs. Bull
der Wainscotting, his wife's mother
The table was sumptuous in dam
ask and silver and Dresden A dainty
maid handed around some thin vegetable
soup and the butler doled us out some thinner
claret. Then we had chops-three chops:
felt like voracious animal when George
said be wasn't hungry-mashed potatoes
and canned corn. For a third course we
had baked macaroni, and that was succeeded
by lot Of salad. For dessert we had waters
and jam, and through all that Internal
claret, which tasted like vinegar and was
latent with Nightmares
"Fill Mr.. Thor's glass, jennings" said
George savagely to the butler, after-with
great difficulty-I had emptied it the second
time.
Jennings glanced doubtfully at Mrs.
Glovefit before obeying but she gave him
black look, and the poor fellow hurried
up. But l saw he had been used to limit his
masters cravings to very short allowance
l got away as soon possible, and, after a
glass Of brandy to mollify that malevolent
claret, ordered my dinner at the club, and
pondered, half wonderingly, half sorrow
fully, over my glimpse into the secrets of
the Gloveft establishment The house. as it
stood, would fetch $l30, 900, and the family
could have lived handsomely for five years
on Mrs Glovefit's jewels alone George was
rather an extravaganza dresser himself, and
the two children had a French nurse ami an
English governess. They jobbed the carriage,
but it still cost poor's man income, and
indeed, to see Mrs. G. sail out of it and into
one Of the great shops Of a spring afternoon
one would think she was almost too
rich to know what small silver was. Yet
when the butler and the maids and the
governess and the livery and three formal
dinners of the season and the grand recep-
ton and the rent of the Newport cottage
and Georges club dues has been paid, his
income had dwindled to a pitiful figure
And on that they lived and half starved
themselves
What a poor, shabby, saddening farce it
was What tawdry, empty, unsatisfying
pride and vanity-and follyl There was a
good fellow, with an income that would
satisfy the highest ambitions of most men,
with a domestic economy meaner than most
bank clerks. There he was, or his wife was
for him, sacrificing the graces Of home life,
natural instincts of charity and generosity,
his children's health and freedom-for they
had short commons in the nursery, too, poor
thingsi-an that most men hold dearest and
spend a lifetime trying to obtain-for what
To keep up appearancesl To go a pace be-
yond their strength. To keep in the swim
with ten-millionaires. To be asked to places
where only rich people can afford to go-and
for nothing more Nothing, unless to be
sneered at as extravagant upstairs by thar
one-cipher superiors and envied' by some
small souls who would like to try the same
experiment
There is another married couple of my &C.
quaintance who practice very different
sort OF philosophy, and don't know but
what it's just as false and foolish in its way
as the Gloveft system. It came under my
observation in much the same way as the
uthsr. Tom Rckrack and were at Tufts
together, and remember we were both edit
ors of that characteristic college publication,