Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-04-20
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE fellows who are waiting for the office
to seek the man are getting awfully tired
IeeaS SjJttn0S.
THE fact that the new minister IS called
professor" does not necessarily indicate that
he is proprietor of a skating rink.-St. Paul
Globe.
1T IS much harder work for a man to care
for his children an hour and half while his
wife IS at church than to run a fox all day
W1ts~kAo Observer.
LARGE mouths are the present fashion for
women. This being the case, we shall have
TO be carefRl not to tell our girl she is
just In style. But she is, though.-L0a0eU
Citizen.
A YAssAR maiden met a man
Who never learned a paradgm,
But he was rich and drove a span,
And she shook Greek and married him.
Snap.
PROBABLY NOT: GLOW can l always win
money at pOker?" writes an anxious sub
scriber to a Western editor. GLOW do !
knowg" replied the journalist. "If l could
do that do you suppose I'd be fool enough to
edit newspaper"-PNcE.
A NEW YORK CIRCUS is advertising for the
second year sacred white elephant. An
animal that can keep the company of circus
men for year ard remain sacred must GER
talnlY be a curiosity worth stealing under the
tent to see.- Y0nberS Statesman.
An EXCHANGE c~ntains an article entitled
''Eow 10 Breathe" We didn't suppose there
was so much ignorance in the world. When
n man doesn't know how to breathe the best
health resort for him is a lot in the cemetery.
He would spoil if kept many days above the
grOund-borriStolOn Herald.
TWELVE months before marriage: He-How
eOyly the rose and lily nestle on thy cheeks,
Laura? Twelve months after marriage: She
Say, nave got too much rouge on my
cheeks? He-How'n thunder do know? Go
~ in els hot mn han,
I'm reading. PittsbUrg Chronicle.
AN Indiana law student was caught in the
act Of vigorously arguing an imaginary case
before a saw horse and twelve sticks of cord
wood, the latter representing the jurors and
the former the Judge. He allowed" that he
never appealed to a more intelligent jury. nor
eyer argued before more impartial Judge
Boston transcript.
"a SAN FRANCISCO CHURCH advertises for a
minister who can preach two sermons, strictly
original, every Sabbath-one in the morning
for saints, and the other in the evening for
sinners" This would seem to indicate that
Californians are saints Sunday morning and
sinners Sunday evening. In other places the
change does not generally take place until
Monday.-Pucb.
He was a tame curate in the wild black
country OF Australia. ana he was waiting in
church to marry a couple of aborIgines. Enter
one of them, the man, in a hurry and his
working clothes. with his hands and face COW
cred with antique dirt. "Aw'we kun to be
we'd" "YOu" responded the curate, aghast.
"In that garb? 1t is improper. Why, you are
downright dirty" ME dirty? Wait till you
see her."-L0ndoR Truth.
MANY imagined that Milton Mobiles was a
drst-class piano performer when he appeared
To be playing the accompaniment to his wifes
singing. He did not strike a key; the leader
Of the orchestra did the playing on another
piano outside.-L0uiS0iHe ArguS. The only
thing that could improve this performance
would be to have another lady stand outside
and do the singing. Mrs. Mobiles cannot sing
any better than her husband can play.-Neio
Ityls1ng pjeglDtra