Connecticut western news., 1885-02-25
WIT AND WISDOM.


 TIE rule of three-a triumvirato.
 RoBBINa the males-a church fair.
 SMALL currency-sewing society gos- sip.
 TIE moonstone-an engagement diA- mond.
 TALK is cheap, except through a tele- phone.
 TIE best ooat-oi-farms for America manure.
 TIE letter p's usefulness to pneumo- mia is about like that of the husband of a
 boss milliner.
 "A RING around the moon is a sign Of
 bad weather. s A ring arourd the eye is
 generally a sign of a squall. s..
 "WHAr is laughter ?" asks a scientist
 It is what you don't hear when you And
 your wife sitting up for you after the
 club.
 A COLD climate is hard to bear, but it
 makes men robust and active. People
 in very warm countries lead rather
 shiftless life.
 A YOUNG lady at ball the other evcn-
 ing referred to her gentleman escort as
 m Indian. "For," said she, ''he ia al-
 ways on my trail"
 BRIDES now go to the altar with the
 left hand uncovered. This means thai
 when the husband comes homo late he
 will be handled without gloves. CoLoRED WoMAN-"Boss, kin I got dc job ob cleanin out dis heah bank 2"
 President-"Nol you are too late. The cashier has already attended 10 that" 'PREss on achieve achieve r sings
 Ella Wheeler in her last poem, This sounds as if she was counseling Chi- nese laundryman to snceze while ironing.
 HE-My dear, the most extraordinary thing happened when came home this evening. She--What was itf He-
 Why, my slippers were both In the same place and just where left them. TnE great perennial power of . good , pastor over his flock ia heart power.
 Nine-tenths of the people in any oon- n gregation are only to be reached through , their affections. Sympathy is power. , SAY everything for vice you can say, l magnify any pleasure as much aa you please, but do not believe you have any , secret for sending on quicker the dug ? gish blood, and for refreshing the faded a nerve. n "HAvE you weak eyes 2" said lady n to an applicant for kitchen position, d who wore blue spectacles. "No. ma'am, ]" ,f "but SCOUT pots and things SO thor o oughly that the glitter of them hurts my ,r sight" d WHEN visitor at tho Carlisle Indian 6 School asked a young Cheyenne girl if 'f she was a member of a church, aho an- n swered, Not much; just little " 's There are hundreds of other church l. members similarly affected
 You can't blame a wife for losing her
 love for a husband who persistently
 stays away from home. As she cannot
 get him into the house even, it follows 's naturally that she should not be able to 's indoor him.--Bostoa TraVoler. n THEY had recently been and got mar [. ried, add had just returned from thoir 70 honeymoon. He: q wonder why 60 j. many people stare at us, my dear S' e She: No doubt they are wondering IS what could have seen in you" Q LITE, like war, is a series of mistakes I , and he is not the best Christian nor the [, t best general who makes the feweat false {, steps. Poor mediocrity may secure - that, but he is best who wins the most - splendid victories by the retrieyal of 's mistakes.
 ' A LATTER secs one of his debtors pass
 him by in the street without any recog- "a milton of his existence, and straightway
 became as mad as-as natter "Ourse 7 the fellow r he says, ''he might, when Io bowed to him, have at least had the do d cency to lift my hat" 5 "YouR ageY asked tho judge. ' "Thirty.fve, your honor," replied ths ,- woman. Judge--"But you were thirty, V five the last time you were here, three ;s years ago." she-"And does your honoi o- think I'm the woman to say one thing !. one day and another thing another P' !. CONDUCT. V "what shall do 10 gain eternal lifeY' o Discharge aright i- Tho simple dues with which each day ia rife a. Yea, with thy might. 10 Ere perfect scheme of action thou devise ,e Will life Do fodl "a While he who ever acts aa conscience cries " Shall 1.-Two, though doAd. ss scHIrLHn lc I BELIEVE in the colossal; a need deep of as hell and grace as high as heaven. l TO believe in pit that is bottomless and q d heaven that is toploss. I believe in m r. infinite God and an infinite atonement; is in love and mercy; an everlasting cove r. nant ordered in nll things sure, of which l. the substance and reality is m infinite re Christ.
 a. A NARROWING dispatch from Denver lf City relates how a six-year-old child fol
 out of second. story window, and
 whose life was saved through alightinF "a upon inc plug hat of stock.broke 't passing underneath, and who subse le quently turned out to be the child's lonl g, lost father. This is an awful warning t' v stock.brokerH not to wear plug hats, 1t A Chicken Coop.