davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15

that gittin' in the hay My little Janey,
eleven years old next May, usually drives
the rake for us, but she amt ben feelin'
overly peart this summer an kinder kept
her out of the sun. So Miss Ella gifts her.
self boosted up on the boss rake-my boy
Joe he boosted her-an' then she screamed
an fell off. Then she got ON agin, hit
the boss a crack an away she went on the
dead jump out O. the field into the road,
boss a goin', dust flynn an Miss Ella
screechin'. Some of the men headed her
off an stopped the boss. Then she tried
it agin. This time she struck right straight
through the standin' grass where it was
talIest an thickest and tangledest; boss a
balkin' and tuggin' away by turns, grass
holdin' on or comm up by the roots, rake
teeth snappin'. We got her out of that,
and lost a whole day on the rake gettin' it
mended.
Then she tried drivin' load into the big
barn. Had to send to the house for lad
der, an then all the men had to go clear
out of the field while she climbed up on the
load. Drivin' in she got the wagon caught
in hedge gap as wide as the Missouri
River, run over two stand of bees, upset the
load and buried herself under three hun
bred pounds of hay. 1t was the safest
place for her under the excitin' circum-
stances; so we jest left her Their ontil the
bees got CANNED down an we got some
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
FOREIGN GOSSIP.


-krupp's newest death-dealer is q
izo-ton gun that kills at nine miles.
1t took French soldier who was
falsely reported as dead five years to
prove his identity.
Less than one-third of the earth
and debris that covered Pompeii so
long remains in place.
There is hardly village in Russia
In which there is not to be found a bot
tie of water from the famous river Jor-
dan
They have already begun in Berl n
to make ready for the celebration of
the twenty-fifth anniversary of the sue
cession of William to the throne of
Prussia, which occurs on January I'd,
1886
The municipal libraries of Paris.
France. number forty-two. ana it is re-
ported that the total number of books
read or consulted during the past year
was nearly 100000, of which no less
than 400. 900 were novels.
tk-Vital statistics lately published
show that in GERMANY the average life
of men has increased during the last
thirty years from 41.9 to 43.9 years, or
5 per cent. In women the increase is
given at per cent, the advance BEN
from 41.9 to 45.2.
The Louvre in Paris has recently
acquired about thirty-one denote pa
pyri. chiefly dating from the reigns OF
Psammetichus and Amasis. the addi-
ton of which makes the collection I'M
der the charge of NJ. Reveillout un-
doubtedly the most complete in Eu-
rope.
One of the curious vegetables OF
the Island Goa, near Bombay, is the
Sorrowful Tree Half an hour after
sunset the tree is full of understanding
flowers. although none is to be seen
dur ng the day. as they close up or
drop off with the appearance OF the
sun.
When Bismarck made the acquaint-
anee of his present doctor he was sick.
and peevish1y declined to answer ques-
tons. '.As you like" said the doctor;
''then send for veterinary surgeon.
as such practit oners treat their patients
without asking them any questions. :"
The Chancellor was captured.
A fruit-dealer in London, rather
than have. her boy attend school, put
him into an orange box, which was
safely corded up and showed under the
bed whenever she had occasion to go
out. The boy had become nearly de-
mented when he was found by the
agent OF benevolent society.
There are existing more than forty
Egyptian obelisks; many of them
fallen and broken. There are seven
teen of them in Italy. seven in En-
gland. two in France, two in Constan-
tinople. and one in this country. The
smallest is at Berlin, which is twenty
five and a half inches high. An I'M
fin shed one in the guarries at Syene IS
estimated to weigh 100000 pounds.
Hermit owned by the Chancellor
of the Duchy of Lancaster, has had a
miraculous career. He was purchased
for 1000 guineas. He won $685. IT'S in
stakes. HIS services have been worth
$4,000 a wear for fourteen years in
fees. and his yearlings have brought
S139. $50 for the last three years. 1t
would be putting the figure too low to
say that he has hitherto been worth at
least $4,000 exclusive of betsy to his
owner.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15

were no birds; they had not yet COME
The only living animals were marsh
loving insects, scorpions, crabs,
worms, a few Tri.obites, Cor three
legged crabs), the curious Crinoids,
and few reptiles; SO that probably
the only sound heard was the croaking
from the low reptiles that lived IN the
swamps.
A curious reptile called the Dendrer-
peton has been found coiled up in the
trunk of a great fossil Sigiliaria II
Nova Scotia It had q curious sculpt-
ured head, was covered with scales,
and related to the great frog-llke
Labarynthodont that was as large as
an elephant.
In the coal measure near WestmOre-
land, Pa, singular footprints are often
found, and one was traced for . long
distance in layer one hundred feet be-
low the Pittsburgh coal The hind feet
were five-toed, and the fore feet Jour
toed. The distance between the tracks
was about eight inches, showing 1t to
have been a large animal. 1t was . ba-
trachian, SO related to che frogs ana
toads, and called the Thenaropus.
In the Nova Scotia coal measure o
SASoAliS ALdIS, SA1thO-jihO SASeSSoASS
has been found, called the Eosarus,
that was the sea-serpent of the ancient
sea.
Among the curious animals OF the
time were beautiful cup-shaped corals,
shells, the Productus. Spirifer and Or
this, and a land-snail Pupa. Numbers
of coiled shells contained animals re-
lated to the euttle-fishes, and many
other forms equally interesting.
Such were some of the inhabitants
and the general appearance of the world
in this by-gone age--a time so remote
that we can form no conception of its
duration. But even then nature, in
obedience to the great governing mind.
was storing up her treasures for the
benefit of man, who seems the culmina-
ton of a Divine evolutionary advance
ment PROT. q. F. Holder, IN Golden
DQuS.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15

Law, when put ON that hat. ma laid back
and laughed till the tears ran down her
dear old cheeks. s.Job Thistlepod," she
said, 'sif you'll go out an work in that
rig, you'll scare away the grasshoppers. !"
My boy, Joe, he did wear his hat out but
he hid it under the hedge when he got out
of sight of the house. l told Joe he was
the biggest fool ever see.
Well, Miss Ella got along fairly we'll
after wheat harvest. Gathered some grace
full sprays, she called 'em, of poison ivy one
day, and couldn't see out of one eye for
nigh week. One day she took tin pail
to go out after berries, and when she went
through the cow pasture the cows thought
there was salt in the pail and chased her
till she was nigh ready to drop. And she
went to the barn once an tried to harness a
young Tuckahoe colt that had never had a
halter on him, an how she got out of the
stable alive S more'n / can tell. But what
/ wanted to say is that that's about the
way the young women who farm so grace
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
An Ancient Soldiers Grave.

An interesting archaeological dis
covery has been made at Sainte Cecle.
IN the department of Vaucluse. Twelve
mounds of incinerated human remains.
mixed with cinders and burned char
COAL and marked by large stones, were
found on the land of Messrs. Pagnol.
Not far away was a stone grave, in
which fragments of vase that had
long been broken by the fall of one of
the stones were picked up, as we'll as
a bronze sword in a good state OF
preservation. The tenant of the grave
had evidently been warrior, but his
bones had moldered into the dust,
leaving. however. portions of the skull
undecayed. A bronze bracelet was
likewise discovered. The sword
bracelet and remains were taken to
Carpentere to be classified, with some
similar discoveries made near the
same place some time ago. 1t was at
first believed that the graves dated
from the time of Hannibal, whose pas
sage of that reg on was disputed with
bravery by the old Gallo Romans of
that portion of France which is in the
department of Vaucluse; but other CIR
cumstances point to their remoter ORR
gin.-PGris Cor. London Telegraph.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
AWFUL POLLUTION,
The Enormous Quantity of London S

The Enormous Quantity of London Sew.
age Poured Into the Thames.
The average quantity OF London sew
age daily poured into the Thames at
the outfalls may be approximately
stated as 100000 tons. Of $1,000, 900
gallons, or $4,000. 900 cubic feet. or a
cube of 293 feet diameter. This esti-
mate is below the truth. The foul or
ganic matter of the sewage is at once
attacked by the dissolved oxygen of the
water, acting through the agency OF
low organisms, and ultimately de-
stroyed, the process being practically
completed between Gravesend and
Southend. But above Gravesend the
river is polluted throughout the whole
of the tidal portion quite up to Ted
dington with actual sewage mat
ter. In the process of destruction
putrefaction precedes oxidation, and a
foul smell is generated which, in hot
weather, when putrefactiOn is rapid,
becomes evident to every impartial
nose The worse portion of the river
is, of course, between Greenwich and
Greenhithe, which may be described as
the sewage zone of the river. Here
dissolved oxygen is almost absent, so
10 tdhCu up ny luc ScWd0c,
and in the recent hot weather, as in
that of last summer, the stencil of the
river has sometimes been unbearable.
Within the last month it has been dis
tinctly smelt at Firth, more than half
mile from the river, and persons who
from duty or expected pleasure have
spent days on the water have suffered
from diarrhea in consequence. Two
ho Il
late inquiry were attacked in the same
way, and reported their personal ex-
perience in the tinal report. Evidently
this state of things can not be borne
much longer. 1t is disgusting and
dangerous now, and it IS ten times
more dangerous in view of a possible, we
might almost say probable. visit of
cholera However imperfect our
knowledge of cholera may be, we know
that It is propagateu by a special poi
son, probably an organized poison.
which can be carried in water. in air,
and in other ways. Water pollution is
a common. and perhaps the most inn
portant means of extension; but air
pollution is also effective, as was
proved by the late Professor Parks in
his elaborate study of the epidemic in
Southampton in 1866, where water pol
luton was out of the question. Chol-
era finds its natural home in low and
foul districts, and part cularly by foul
rivers. If further evidence on this
point were wanted, it would be fur
nished in abundance by the recent fear
full experience of Spain. There can be
no doubt that a small epidemic of chol-
era in London might make the river
vast hotbed for the disease.
SATURDAY. RecaeU.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
A PROFITABLE PURSUIT,
What Dealer in Public Documents Hal
to Say About His Business.

What a Dealer in Public Documents Has
to Say About His Business.
The most valuable portions of our
branch of the business, said a Wash
ington dealer in public documents, is
our collection of old House and Senate
Executive documents and reports of
committees of both houses, the copies
of which have long since been ex-
hausted in the document rooms at both
ends,.of the Capitol. There are constant
calls for these old reports and messages.
Some old claim that has been acted on
in Congress years ago will be resuscit-
ated and then the report made upon it
by the committee will be wanted 1t
can not be found in the Capitol, as, it
being an important case when first in
Congress, all copies of the report have
long since been disposed of. Then the
seeker comes to me. He often finds it,
too, and although it may be of no i'm
portance to any one but him, he is gen.
orally willing to pay me a good, fair
price for it. l always keep a big stock
on hand.
remember just such case which I
had last winter. A man came here
after report which had been made by
| the Committee on Claims in the Thirty
sixth Congress. He wanted a copy of
| that report and had searched the Capt.
| toll and the State Department high and
low, but not a copy could he find. A
| friend sent him to me. / was about to
| let him go away without looking, when
happily remembered that when / first
started in the business purchased
whole pile of documents and reports of
the Thirty-sixth Congress from an en-
tploye of the Capitol. who wanted some
money to get railroad ticket with. 1
paid him So. so for the lot, and could
just remember having stumbled over
them hundred times since. / told the
gentleman to wait while climbed into
the attic, l at once got the old bundle,
and, after half an hours search, found
the identical report which the gentle
man was in search of.
"How much?'' said he with a smiling
face, as | approached, hot and dusty,
with the go document
'Oh, as you please" said !. ssWhat-
ever it is worth to YOU" The gentle
man thrust two twenty dollar bills into
my hand and sailed forth with his nose
buried in the musty bat precious .spuh.
doc.." and said to myself: NThis ia
good business. - Washington Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
PITH AND POINT.

"A crank is the man whose ideas
differ from your own.
A juvenile Atroc:ty: .sWhy DOM
you turn over a new leafp'' 81 will,
pa, in the spring. Can't do it this time
of year. you know"
in Burma editors receive elephants
in payment for subscription. In this
country the paper itself is about all the
elephant the editor cares to keep IN
stock.-N. I. San.
-Table-forks have been in use 400
years, and yet people can be found IN
every boarding house who have not yet
discovered that they have been invent
Chicago Ledger.
They have been making new figures
on the coal supply, and it is now be-
ieved that it will take II 900 years to
exhaust the supply, even if you don't
sift your ashes. Chicago Herald.
. Hungry Guest-..How is this? /
ordered steak and poached egg. |
see the egg. but where is the steak?''
Table attendant-'.Dat all right. sab.
De steak am under de egg. "-Phila-
deRphia Press.
The cheering news comes from
Nice, via Harvard University. that Tut
ties comet of 80 has turned up and
been identified in France. futile
now appreciates the value of advert s.
ing.-Bufalo Express.
Said Bobby to the minister at d;n-
ner: ''Can a church whistler" '.Why
do you ask?" .'Cos pa owes twelve
dollars back pew rent. and he says he's
going to let the church whistle for it. -
-Coiunbus Dispatch.
They have discovered footprints
three feet long in the sands of Oregon,
supposed to belong to lost race" It
is impossib BILE to conceive how a race
that made footprints three feet long
could get lost. Chicago Tribune.
First boy: ''They say you are a
ond bow Gnterrupting): .'Dovou know
what they call you?'' First boy:
"What?' Second boy: They don't
call; they Just whistle!''-Goldes Days.
1t is said Sara Bernhardt's two
great ambitions are to write poetry
and grow fat We fear Sara is reach
ing after the unattainable. Poets sell
dom grow fat 1t takes a great deal
Of fine engineering to grow fat ON
eighty cents a Chicago Neacs.
Mother, our teacher wants us to
pronounce route root ~ .'Well.
that is correct, Mary" Gracious!
Then we might as well call about
ABBOTT Hold on! I'll fix her. The
next time she tells me to call it root
I'll say. i was lust ABBOTT to call il
'oot, Miss Chalk. ''-EcchGnge.
Two st. Adams men were discuss
ng material used for building pur-
poses, and, among the rest, laths.
Commenting on the fact that the price
of laths was comparatively high, one
of them remarked: Il don't see what
in the world keeps 1aths up" when
third party, who never lets a chance
go when he sees it. made the simple
reply, ..Nails!' -Nessenger
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
READING FOR THE YOUNG.
A HOLE IN HIS MEMORY.

For such boys are not found now-a-days, you
know
Whose friends were as troubled as they could
be =
Because of hole in his memory.
A charge from his mother went in one day,
But he met man with q musical top.
And his mothers words through that hole
did drop.
lesson went in, but, an me! ali me!
For boy with a hole in his memory!
When he rose to recite, he was all In doubt:
Every word of that lesson had fallen outl
And at last, at last-oh, terrible lott
He could speak but two words: II forDOtF'
Would it not be sad indeed to see
A boy with hole in his memory?
William Norris Burr, in Youths Companion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15

full in the newspapers usually farm on the
farm. But we liked her. An we hated to
see her go. An she will make a splendid
wife for some man, if she can't run farm.
but don't know about your young men
comm out to look after her, for when she
said goodbye to me to 60 back to town,
she throwed her arms around my neck an
gin me kiss that I says to my boy Joe,
standin' by the wagon to take her to town,
he was always somewhere around: ''Joe,"
I says, 'You'd give your share in the farm
for that" an Joe he didn't seem to care for
anything of the kind, an Miss Ella, she up
an give me another squeeze an a kiss, an
saw her looking over my shoulder at my
boy Joe and--haw! haw! haw !-Burdette,
in BrOOkIlf,l EaqIe
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
HOW IT TASTED.

She was a maid of many charms,
As lovely as the rose;
She held her poodle in her arms
And fondly kissed his nose.
Her lover, lying at her feet,
Was envious as could be,
And said: ''Oh, give a kiss as sweet
AS that, my love, to MEL
She stopped and kissed him on the lips
Then sprang he to his feet;
She, blushing to her finger-tips,
inquired: swell. was it sweet?'
He wiped his mouth. picked up his cane,
And then prepared to jog,
Remarking: Sweet? Well, to he plain,
1t kind O tastes of dog
Boston Courier.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
"A good story is told of tn

"A good story is told of the pen
manship of a prominent man of this
city. says the Boston Journal A Chi
naman who wished to transact bust
ness in the West asked for letter of
recommendation. The request was
complied with, but the Chinaman was
not satisfied. He held the letter in his
hands looking, at the writing which he
could not read. Thank you. Gener
al. but may get my teacher to write
signp'' The General smiled and
signed, when the teachers letter was
presented.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
His Guilty Conscience.

"Heee's strange phenomenon, hubby"
ssWhat's that my dear?"
s'This paper tells of a night-blooming
cereus in Massachusetts, that blooms in the
day time"
tsWell, that is rather paradoxical."
ssYes, dear, and do you know Eve noticed
lately great many evidences of night
turning into day."
my darling, hope you will not permit
your insinuations to become PERSONAL
Chicago Neaos.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
What c. O. d. Stands For.
Ne,Ds.

ssWhat's the meaning of G. o. DIP"
"Colect on delivery"
"Well, kind O suspicioned it meant
something like that"
''You did?''
eyes; l got a box by express the other
day with them letters on it, and had to
pony up before they'd let me take it, and
from that ciphered it out that they meant
Come Omediately Down." - Chicago
LedUer
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
A Happy Death.

A negro living on Onion Creek came to
Austin recently, and the following CONVEX
sation occurred between him and city
friend:
''How is Pete Jackson?'
HE is done dead
Eyer don't tole me So How did hit
come about?''
''He died wild digesshun OBJ de lungs, but
surrounded wild de bes' wishes OBJ de hull
neighbOrhOod '-Teras Sjfti1os.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15

Prof. Nichols, editor of the Boston
journal Of Chemistry, has declared that
alcohol is no longer necessity in any
Of the arts or sciences.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
A DECIDED BARGAIN.
Why a Detroit Citizen Was Anxious
Negotiate Loan.

Why q Detroit Citizen Was Anxious to
Negotiate Loan.
''Say! for heavens sake lend me two
centsv' he gasped, as he rushed into a
saloon near the foot of Jefferson avenue
yesterday.
''Lend you two cents?''
Eyes, yes All l want is two centsr'
''See you hanged firstr'
''Say! lend me two centsr' exclaimed
the man, as he rushed out the door and
nearly upset pedestrian with sachel.
''I'll give you two kicks instead!' re-
piled the man as he recovered his balance,
but the other had skipped across the street
to importune the driver of an express
wagon. He was finally asked what he
wanted of the money, and he explained:
81 was over at the depot Fellow with
big neck rubs agin ME. I tells him to
look out. He says he will lick me for two
cents. / feels in all my pockets, but ]
haven't red. JustS imagine my embar
rassmentE
YOU'D better drop the matter"
''What! when haven't had a fight fol
seven months, nor been licked for two
years! Never! E's the cheapest offer
ever had, and I'll accept it if l have to steal
the money!
And he continued his way up the street
and halted every pedestrian to appeal:
Say! if you have any mercy on poor.
forlorn man, lend me two cents !'-Detrotl
Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15


Physician-You do not need medicine at
all. Take plenty of exercise and a mild
tonic-say bottle of claret every day.
Patient lin alarm)--Oh, no! can't do
that.
HIN. Temperance MANI"
ooh, no! But the fact is I was in the
wine business myself once, and I know
how it's made. "-PhiladeIohid Cali
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-10-15
The Early Bird Catches Or

$50. Mrs. Yamspinner, you are left a
widow?'
''Ye-ye-yes boo-hoo-o-o-o."
There, there, don't cry. That won't
bring him back"
81 know it, but it will excite sympathy
and help me to get another. "-Chicago
NelDS.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-05-07
Irish Local Government Bill

LONDON, May An Irish local govern.
ment bill will probably be Introduced in
Parliament before the close of the presen,
session. The new measure provides for
popularity elected councils in each county
whose duty it shall be to conduct tn~ nd
ministration Of business hitherto rcegate,I
to grand juries. Provision is also made fc.
a central council in Dublin, to he elected by
the county councils. This council will dis
charge the functions of the Boards OF T. III
cation and Public Works. 1t is also mcLi.
tated to abolish the lord leutenancy and
create a secretary of state for Ireland bat
this is still undecided. 1t is not likely that
the measure will be passed this year
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-05-07
Interesting Suit Decided.

CLEVELAND, OHIO, May IA suit of in
terest to brokers and spectators was de-.
cided yesterday in the U. 8. Circuit Court
here. Higgins & Gilbert, Chicago brokers.
sued James McCrea, of this city, for s32, 900,
claimed to be due on pork and lard deal
The brokers bought nearly 100000 worth
of mess pork aud tierce lard for McCrea in
May, 1888, for August delivery. The pro-
duce was sold August l, no instructions hav.
ing been received from McCrea, at loss of
1000. The brokers sued to recover that
amount. McCrea answered that he had
paid the firm $4,000, and as it was gam
bling deal he asked for Judgment 10 that
amount with interest. The jury awarded
him 500 600.