Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14
Taking the Starch Out Of I'm.


A knot of idlers stood upon the end
Of pier which ran out into the Hudson
River, in one of the small towns near
Albany, amusing themselves with hurl-
ing stones into the broad stream, each
vieing with his neighbor in the endeavor
to pitch the missile at the farthest dis
lance from the shore, when q tall, rug
ged-built Vermonter. direct from the
green hills, suddenly made his appear
ance in their midst, and for awhile
remained quiet observer OF their move
ments.
He was very brawny. STRONGHOLD
ing Yankee. and was very decently
clad. The efforts of the little party had
been exhibited over and over again,
when the stranger picked up half q
brick which lay near him, and giving il
a jerk, it fell into the water long way
beyond tho line which had as yet been
reached by the foremost Of the crowd.
At the conclusion of this feat, a loud
"bravo!" went up from half a dozen
voices around him.
1t was cold clear day in October,
and the men determined not to be out
done, renewed their attempts, but the
Vermonter, without saying q syllable to
any one. continued to pitch tho pebbles
far out into the stream, which seemed
to annoy one in green jacket, the APP
parent leader of tho gang, who declared
he wouldn't be beaten by u fellow right
straight out Of tho woods, nohow;' and
sliding up to the stranger, no deter
mined TO make his acquaintance.
"Where do you come from, neigh.
borP' he asked.
"McP Wal, halls from Vermont,
JOS now, friend"
"Ain't been in these parts long, ]
rcckonp"
"Wal-no. Not odzactly ycrc-bui
up aud daown. sortor."
"Yis. 40 'sposcd.'
Vans, continued tho grcen'un.
cnrclcssly. and scizing n large billet Of
wood. twirlcd IL over his head. and II
landed several rods from tho shore In
Tho water.
you've little strength IN your
arms. ncigbbor.
"Somc pumpkins with them Zip
pcrs, stranger; up In our taown u
muntb ngo. I driv them knucklcs right
strait thur board more'n ninch' N
hail thick"
"Iaw, haw!" shouted the hearers,
the man in the green jacket laughing
the loudest.
'May be you don't believe ftp"
''Not much, answered the crowd
"We amt terg green down here in
York amt" said the fellow in the
green jacket; "we've been about, You
bet"
oval, jes' look here, friend" con.
tlnued the Vermonter, in the most
plausible. manner; 1--WE. in aour country,
we've got purity big river, considerin'
-Injun River, It's called. and maybe
you've hearn on it. Wal, hove a man
clean across that river t'other day, and
he came down fair and square on
t'othcr SIDE"
ala, ha, ha," yelled his auditors.
oval, naow, you may latf. but kin
do 1t agin."
"Do what?" said the green jacket,
quickly.
Il ken take and hove you across
that river yonder, jes' like open and
shet!"
"Bet you ten dollars of it."
'Done," said the Yankee, and draw.
ing forth bill (upon broken down.
east bank) he covered the shin-plaster.
ken We swim, fellerP"
Like duck" said the green Jacket
and without further parley the Yer.
monter seized the knowing Yorker
stoutly by the nape of the neck and
seat of the pants, jerked him from his
foothold, and with an almost superhu-
man effort dashed him heels over head,
from the end Of the docks, some ten
yards in the Hudson.
A terrific shout rang through the
crowd, rs he floundered in the water,
and amidst the cheers and screams OF
his companions, tho ducked loafer put
back to the shore and scratched up
the bank, half frozen by this sudden
and involuntary cold bath.
"rn take that ten-spots, il YOU
please" said he, shivering rapidly, to
the stakeholder. "You took us for
greenhorns, Ell? Well show you how
we do things here in New York, and
the fellow claimed the twenty dollars.
oval, ! reckon you won't take no
ten-spots jes yet. Cap'n."
"Why? You lost the bet"
"Not edzactly. didn't calkilate on
deuin' it the FIST time-but tell yo't
| ken den IT," and again. in spite of the
he seized him by the neck and the seat
of his overalls and pitched him three
yards further into the river than upon
the first trial.
Again green jacket returned amid
the shouts of his mates, who enjoyed
the sport immensely.
Third time never fails" said the
Yankee, stripping off his coat; al ken
deu it. ! tell ye."
''Hold on" said the almost petrified
victim.
'And will deu it-ef try till TO-
morroW morRin'."
II give it up" shouted the sufferer,
between his teeth, which now chat
tered like mad badger's-"takc the
money"
The Vermonter very coolly pocketed
the stakes, and as he turned away re.
marked
1--WE amt much acquainted with you
smart folks daown herein York, but
we sometimes take the starch out
of 'em up our way-and praps you
wunt try it on strangers agin. i reck'n
YOU wunt,' he continued, and putting
on broad grin of good humor, he left
the company to their reflections.
BIS.