The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-05-02


 look under your window before flinging out your dirty water. You may be under somebody's window one of these days.
 An Austin father wants to know why it is that a chair has to be mended the next day after his daughters Sunday young man" pays visit the night be- fore.
 Tenants here in Austin complain that their landlords are working the rule of three on them: sending rents up in pro- portion as they (the L. L.'s) ask the tax authorities to reduce taxes. If it ever becomes fashionable for wo- men to vote, there will never be any warm weather in some families, on ac- count of the strong family breeze which will be continually blowing.
 Some people imagine that to be inso- lent is to impress the world with their dignity. The world is not to be deceived in such matters. True dignity sits like a coronet of jewels on the brow of polite ness.
 A north Texas man saw a patent med icine "ad in THE TRAvELER the other day, headed "A Night of Misery" He laid down the paper, remarking: "pn bet that fellow slept that night in an Austin hotel"
 Strangers in Austin wonder why it is that so many beautiful ladies are seen driving their own carriages. The an- swer is plain: Austin fathers and hus- bands have "got the drop" on the coachman business.
 Sportsmen say that fish are larger and more plentiful than usual this season. This indicates that lying will be more artistic this spring, and that evangelists will not be very successful in towns where there are any streams near.
 In speaking of the junior class in the university thIs year, the professor said "The junior class will embrace seven- teen young ladies'" It will |" exclaimed the young man addressed; great Scott then shall join the unior class"
 The latest mathematical C? problem sent to the state university is the follow ing: "lfthe earth's orbit about the sun is 500 COG. 900 miles what would be the hypothenuse of aright-angle triangle in- scribed within circle circumscribed by hexagon
 Just before our Texas legislature ad- journed phrenologist offered to "feel their heads " for nothing if they would allow him to publicly announce the re- suit. They indignantly refused to sub- init to the public outrage on the peoples representatives.
 An old friend sends us poem for pub hcation, headed: "Will you drink again i" He forgot to send his name and address. It is to be hoped he does not go about the world asking such ques- tions simply to trife with sensitive na- lures and cultivated intellects.
 A large number ot Austin (rexas) young ladies have recently gone to take lessons in music at the Boston conserva- tory, where the "movable do |" is taught this season. An Austin mother rem arks that, "A better knowledge ofthe movable dough is what Austin girls knead most"
 "Now, Melinda, don't talk to me; guess 1 ought to know a dashed blank rascal when see one," said an Ash street husband to his better half the other day.
 "Yes," she sweetly replied "You do, have no doubt, George. You look into | mirror often enough" They will be divorced at this term of court.
 A friend writes to me this week and | advises that try and induce the TRAv- ELER to change from a humorous to some other kind of paper, remarking that twill not pay in the long run. He is good critic, as he once tried to run a humorous paper, and his readers thought he was conducting mourners' consola- ton " journal.
 Texas admits young ladies to her uni- versity and educates them free on an equal footing with the boys A female student went into dry goods store the other day and hlushingly asked the head clerk If he "had any of those elastic bands capable of being elongated and adjusted at pleasure, and used hy the feminine portion of mankind for putting around the lower extremisies of their To- [,