davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05
JOSH BILLINGS, THE MAN.
How the Quaint Humorist Appeared t.
Those Who Knew Him Best.


That's Josh Billings chair said Mr..
Ormond c. Smith, pointing TO fat rocker.
upholstered in green leather. in the busi-
ness office of the New York Weekly. He
wrote for Us for twenty years, at 500
week In all that time he never missed q
number, and never gave us over twelve
paragraphs a week. He was garrulous as
an old man. and loved To tell stories. So
cially. perhaps, his strongest point was his
piety. He was intensely orthodox, and hit
unbelievers hard. At country hotel in
Illinois one day farmer told him he (the
farmerl couldn't believe anything he didn't
understand You've an orchard on your
place said Josh. Yes said the farmer.
Did it ever happen that you've found a
sweet apple on one tree and sour one on
the next 10 it?' Often replied the farmer.
You believe. said Josh, but I'll bet brown
stone front or a glass o cider you can't eX-
plain il.
lie greatly admired Mr. Beecher, who,
he said. had more genius than any other
man III the country. But when Beecher
began to preach on evolution, Josh wrote
him from Colorado, begging him to leave
the Creator alone and give Him credit for
being something better than a second-rate
machine WHO tried to make man and only
hit on a monkey.
His philosophy of humor was that it
must be based on truth. Truths he divided
into natural and physical. Humor was
only play of variations of these fsop
was the only writer of original fables, for
he had exhausted all the truths. He had
no respect for man who would laugh at
irrational nonsense. His phonetic orthOg-
raphy was an accident. For five years he
had written without attracting attention.
One day he picked up a copy of Artemus
Ward. His crooked spelling attracted him.
lie wrote an essay on the mule in that queer
orthography he has made his own, and ii
made a big hit. After that he never
abandoned it. For books he had no love.
When he was an auctiOneer he got the sub
iect of his Jokes out of his audience, and
when he turned humorist he relied on na-
ture-human and material. He used to
say he found more in three-acre lot than
in three acres of the best book ever written.
He was careless In his dress, and don't
think he ever wore necktie in his life But
he was a great stickler for clean linen, and
was particularly hard on collars. He thought
nothing Of five or six in day. Once his wife
protested against his extravaganza. MY
dear, said he, the man who can wear q
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

Prince Alexander has demanded as in
demnity from Seryia the sum of fortytwo
million francs. Servia refuses the demand,
hoping for Austria's support to compel
peace without it, and has ordered her COM
manders to stand on the defensive and
await Bulgaria's attack. Roumelia is on
fire with popular revolutionary meetings
protesting against the restoration of the
status quo ante, and opposing and threaten
DkO eXpel the delegates there on the part
OF Turkeys assumption of the government
But it is authoritafively announced now
that a secret understanding has been
effected between Austria. Seryia, and
Greece. by which the Greek army is about
to cross the frontier into Thessaly and
Austria is concentrating troops in Bosnia
for Greek support in case of reverses. And
Vt is also believed that this understanding
takes in Russia. and that the massing of
Russian troops on the southern frontier is
with the concurrence of Austria. This
looks like Europe against Turkey
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05
EPITHELI0MA
OR SKIN CANCER.

For seven years | suffered with a cancer on
nv face All the simple remedies were applied
TO alleviate the pain. but the place continued
10 grow. finally extending into my nose. from
which came a yellowish discharge very Omen,
siye in character. 1t was also inftamed, and
annoyed me great deal. About eight mcnths
ago | was In Atlanta. at the house OF friend,
who so strongly recommended the use OF
Swift's Specific that | determined 10 make an
effort to procure II. In this | was successful.
and began its use. The influence OF the medi-
cine at first WAS to somewhat aggravate the
sore; but soon the Inflammation was allayed.
and began to improve after the nrst few bot
ties Ny general health has greatly improved.
am stronger. and able to do any kind OF work:
The cancer on my face began 10 decrease and
the ulcer TO heal. until there Is not vestige OF
IL left-only little scar marks the place where
il had been. | am ready to answer all Ques
tions relative to this cure.
Mas JoicIE A. McDoSALD.
Atlanta. Ga, August II, 1855.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05
A NOBLE ROMAN.
He Bleeis IN the Defense OF an Outrage
Wyoming Wife.

Rs Bleeds N the Defense OF An Outraged
Wyoming Wife.
al was in Custer City three years ago,
and as dead broke As skinned wolf. y
he said. as the boys pumped him TO tell
how he got such a scar on his face.
mo, sir, l hadn't blessed nickel.
and didn't know human being in that
town. There was no work. no way 10
get out, and l leaned again dead wall
and wonde.ed how much my revolver
would sell for, and which way | should
head if had ten dollars. Tell you.
gents, was feeling powerful blue when
Hope cum scooting around the corner TO
pat me on the back and give me boost.
II you remember. the poet saws it's al
ways the darkest just afore dawn. and
somebody has written that Providence
never goes back on a man who means TO
do the squar' thing
"Who was Hope?' asked one.
"She was female-a woman. don't
remember whether she was rs purity as
an angel or as homely As Digger
squaw. She flew up TO me and says,
says she:
DO address a gentleman
Madam, you haven't made any
mistake says |.
"'Have you got sand?
"'Tons Of it, madam
"'And do you want to make fifty COL
lars? saws she.
eff | don't then an Injun never
hankered for scalps, 'saysI.
with that she puts five ten-dolla.
bills in my paw, walks me to the corner,
and, pinting up the street TO the St.
Louis Red Front saloon. continerS:
".He's in there! Go and shoot him"
"'Who might it be ma sm?'
:My husband! He's a brute and a
tyrant! He's just run me out doors AT
the muzzle of a revolver He's big
red-faced fellow with broken nose.
Go, and may Heaven be with you.
"'Certingly, ma am. certingly.' says
!, and | makes bee line for the Red
Front.
The tyrannical husband was prepared
for me. When | was a hundred feet
away he takes dead Squint on me and
pops off his gun. The bullet rips open
my cheek. AS this ere scar makes afli-
davy. | was whirled around and sent
to grass, but whips ovA on my stom.
ach, gets quick sight on him. and be-
fore he could squint agin he was my
meat. That ere wOman's appeal to
Heaven was answered"
xiii him at onceP'
LAS dead as this ere curbstun! He
never kicked around or mussed up the
saloon bit. The injoored wife climbed
over him and took possession, the Cor.
onor came to conduct the funeral, and a
chap with lot of sticking plaster fixed
up my hurt and said Custer's great need
was dozen Romans like myself. IN
r. Sun,
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

Most of this discussion going on about
the election of president of the senate
pro ceeds on the implication that Cleveland
Is expected to die before he completes his
term of Office. The democratic press is
particularly emphatic in its protests against
the Outrage" of electing a republican To
succeed him: as if the succession were a
foregone conclusion. But there Is enough
vitality in Mr.. Cleveland TO be a disappoint-
ment yet He intends to live through this
administration, and to make If lively for
offensive partisans," as.welI as for several
thousand democrats who are conscious of
merits that no pitiful eiyil-seryice tests can
estimate. Mr.. Cleveland is healthy, weighs
toward three hundred-below or above, we
forget which.-and is going to live to worry
his party's inwards for over three years
and then give place to a republican presi-
dent, duly elected
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

For many years l was a sufferer with cancer
of the nose. and having been cured by the use
to suffering humanity To make this statement
of my case. With the fourteenth bottle the
cancer began TO heal rapidly and soon disap-
peared. and for several months there has been
no appearance of a sore of any Kind on my
nose or face, neither is my nose at all tender
70 the touch. have taken about two dozen
bottles :. :. :, and am soundy cured, and
know that ;. :. :. effected the cure after every
known remedy was tried and had failed.
ROBERT SkEDLEI.
Fort Gaines, Ga, May !, lss5.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05
The supreme Serenity.

The Cincinnati lawsuit To foreclose the
mortgage of fraud Oh the elective franchise
of Ohio was up for palaver yesterday in the
supreme court The attorney for the Gang
made an argument for scheme of eonsoli-
dation. He wanted the mandamus that
FolIett put to sleep in the supreme court
several days ago, the mandamus that has
just been brought up on error from the Gin
cinnati court, and the recent alternative
mandamus issued by the supreme court
10 compel election-returns from Dalton, all
punched together and tried in one batch.
This scheme Geo. K. Nash- representing
the Cincinnati people, resisted, and argued
the incongruity of tF cases. He wanted
the Cincinnati canvassing- board case to be
before the court on its merits alone
The motive of the scheme Of consolida-
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

| had heard of the wonderful cures ofSwift's
Specific, and resolved TO try II. commenced
taking it in April, 1854. AMY general health was
much improved, yet the cancer which was In
my breast continued TO grow slowly but surely
The bunch grew and became quite heavy.
felt that must either have IL cut er die. But
IL commenced discharging quantities OF almost
black. thick blood. Ii continued healing
around the edges until February, when il was
entirely healed up and well. betsy WOOD.
Cochesett, Plymouth Co. Mass. July l3, lss5
Swft's Specific is entirely vegetable. and
seems to cure cancers by forcing out the i'm
purites from the blood.
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed
free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co. Drawers. Atlanta. Ga.
\ Y. Isl ". I'D ST.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

The notification of the registry law ought
not to be regretted in Cincinnati. There
was more deviftry done there with that law
in force than had ever been donewith"nt IT.
Something more tonic than registry law
is needed in Cincinnati-say. for instance, a
vigilance committee
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

The British, elections still show gains for
the liberals. Mr.. Gladstone's party-towit
the said liberals-are jubilant enough now
70 claim a majority over both tories and
Parnellites. But they will not scream be-
fore they are out of the woods. To-day
ballotings are expected to tell the story.
The latest figures are-liberals ss5. tories
ea5. Parnellites IS.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

Our townsman r. F. Hayward Is the
making of the most efficient and acceptable
sergeant t-at-arms that the house Of represeli-
tatives will have had for years. We imply
that the house will make no difficulty of
granting this small favor 10 Clark county.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

BROWNS
IRON
B/TTERS
WILL CURE
HEADACHE
INDIGESTION
BILIOUSNESS
DYSPEPSIA
NERVOUS PROSTRATION
MALARIA
CHILLS AND FEVERS
TIRED FEELING
GENERAL DEBILITY
PAIN IN THE BACK & SIDES
IMPURE BLOOD
CONSTIPATION
FEMALE INFIRMITIES
RHEUMATISM
NEURALGIA
KIDNEY AND LIVER
TROUBLES
EOR SALE BY All ERJCCH7S
The Genuine has Trade Mark and crossed REQ
mes on wrapper.
TAKE NO OTHER.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

Iihaye had a cancer on my face for some
wears, extending from one cheek bone across
The nose To the 6ther Ii has given me great
deal of pain. at times burning and itching to
such an extent that IL was almost unbearable
commenced using Swift's Specific in May
1885. and have used eight bottles. 1t has given
the greatest relief by removing the infiamma
ton and restoring my general health.
". BARNES.
Knoxville. Iowa, Sept s. 1885.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

Ii locks very like Sherman. Logan dee
linstion yesterday of the nomination for
president pro tempore of the senate, ten
dered unanimously, WAS startler. II is
now agreed that Sherman is likely to be the
unanimous choice of the caucus 10 he held
today This would be grand AID spPro-
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

The Boston Globe shocks itself with the
impropriety of having Logan accept the
yiceprsHi1e..sial Office under a democratic
administration This is shock-headed i'm
becility. Logan would take no vice
presidential Office" by being elected presi-
dent of the senate. He would simply be
chairman of that body. and would never be
vi-epresident If Cleveland should die.
this chairman would be acting president.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

The poor martyr Downs has suffered
another expulsion. A Baptist minister :
meeting in Boston has resolved him out OF
the conference and out of all Christian fel-
iowship. He ought to be good card now
for the lecmre-bureaus.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

The Sandusky Register is in pretty lit
tie fight las ii stands with the materialized
spirits of that town; and Mack's discourse
ON ..Humbug Mediums is most deiiclonsly
offensive
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05
The hog disease is becoming an importan

The hog disease is becoming an important
factor in politics and diplomacy. There
had been . sort of politco-commercial al
rangement between Germany on the one
hand and Russia, Austria, and Hungary on
the other, by which hogs were permitted to
be imported into the former country from
the three latter. But this hog comfy has
been suddenly terminated. The hog disease
had become so alarming in these latter coun-
tries that Germany went back on their pork
as she has done on the royal American pork.
Germany is in constant pickle about tri-
chinosis.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

The Servs are back home again, and are
therefore now reserves.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

Natural gas, il will be- observed, has it>
disadvantageous compensations. Ii is subtle
and fiavOrless. Nobody knows when it Is
about, or where il is about or what it is
about. The Servant girl becomes an uncon-
scious incendiary with it. The explosion
yesterday in Pittsburg shows that something
must be done 10 defend against its danger
ous presence. Natural gas is not an un-
mixed blessing. We throw this out for the
consolation of the unsuccessful bores.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

4 ache all over" What a common e~
oressiop; and how much /, means to many
, poor sufferer, These aches have a
;ause, and more frequently than is eener-
ally suspected the cause is the Liver or
Ndnegs. No disease IS more painful or
ierous than these, and no remedy is so
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-05

70 remeog nas yet been discovered
nat is so effective in all KIDNEY AND
-TvER COMPLAINTS. MALARIA. DYSPeP-
5A, etc, and yet L is simple and harm
ess. SCIENCE and medical skill have
combined with wonderful success those
lerbs which nature has provided for the
cure Of disease. It Strengthens and in
feorates the whole system.
Hon Thaddeus Stevens. the distinguished Con-
eres-man once wrote to fellow mem Der who ~af
suffering from indigestion and kidney disease.
Try Mshler's Herb Bitter-, believe il will cur
you have used il for both ind. eesticn and ahec
ton Of the kidneys. and II il the most wonderful
combination Of medicinal herb- ! ever sav."
MISHLER HERB BITTERS CO.,
525 Commerce St.. Philadelphia.
Parker's Pleasant Worm Syrup Never Fall
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16
NAuGHT RuT GOOD.

We have been selling your CUTIcuRA RENE
Dies for the past three or four years, and have
never heard aueht but good words in their
favor. Your CgTicrkA SOAP Is decidedly the
best selling medicinal soap We handle, and is
highly priced here for its soothing and soften.
ing effect upon the skin.
J. CLIFTON WHEAT, JR-, Druggist.
WINCHEsTKR. VA.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16

A arst-class BILLIARD TABLE, for the acr
commodation Of guests.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16
THE LARGEsT sALE.

Our sales OF CUTIcuRA are as large, IL not
larger, than any medicine we sell; and we as
sure you that we have never had a single in
stance in which the purchaser was dissatisfied.
As to your Soap, We can sell no other every
body wants CUTicURA.
MILLER l. CHAPMAN, Druggists,
LOUISIANA, Mo
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16

JOSEPH GERMAN, Propsistss.
winnemucca, Dscenbsr 1, lSea
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16
RATES OF ADVERTISING:

Crater Lake is thus described in Pc
tition that is being numerously signed
in Oregon to make national reserva.
tion of the wonder: The surface OF
the lake is about $500 feet shove sea
level. and it is about eight miles long
and six miles wide. 1t contains q cir.
cular island 600 feet high. on which is
found an extinct crater, which is ninety
feet deep aDd ATS feet iu diameter. In
another portion of the lake is found a
conicaI.shaped rock, which is perpendic-
ular, aud rises to an altitude of 1900
feet above the waters surface. Other
rocks of remarkable form and elevation
tower high above the lake. The lake
walls are nearly perpendicular, and
vary in altitude from 1000 to 1000
feet"
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16
CUTuCllRA REMEDIES

Are sold everywhere. Price: CuucURA
50 cents; REsoLvEsr, sl00; Soar, 25 cents.
Potter Drug and Chemical Co.. Boston,
Mass.
send for ''Hew 20 Cure skin Diseases" -"
EDTDS Pimples, Skin Blem-
"hO Dosishes and Baby Humors
cured by CurIcuRA Soar.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16
SALT RHEUM CURED.

Two OF worst cases OF Salt Rheum | ever
were cured by your CUTIcURA REMEDIES,
and their sales exceed those OF all other like
remedies. ! sell very little OF any other medi-
cinal Soap than CurIcURA.
GEORGE A. ANTHONY, Druggist.
kEwANEE, ILL.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16
DOCTORS PREsCRIBE THEM.

The CUIIcURA REMEDIES are excellent RENE
dies for all skin diseases.
j. @. WILSON, N. D., HARvEL, ILL.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16
THE SILVER STATE.
PUBLISHED EVERY DAY (sUNDAYs Ex-
CEPTED) BY
j. j. HILL IL CO.

TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTIONS:
One COPY. one year, by mali. ............ .s5 90.
One copy. six months, by mail .......... 90
oue copy, three months, by mail. ....... 2 so.
Delivered by Carrier. 25 Cents per week,
RATES OF ADVERTISING:
One Square no lines) first insertion. .. go 500
Each subsequent insertion, per square l 90.
A LIBERAL reduction to regular advertisers.
ENTS.
WA. CAswELL, Sacramento, California
JB CASH is authorized TO collect and re-
sslpt for subscriptions to the SILVER STATE in
Paradise Valley.
sR. You've Is authorized TO collect and
receipt for subscriptions to the SILVER STATs at
Big Meadows
A. 0Isrz is authorized TO collect and receipt
tor subscriptions to the SILVER STATE In Spring
City.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-12-16

: =; e: !; 8: !; 8;
S"V by the CuricuRA ASrI-PAIS PLASTER.
At druggists, 25c.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-09-17
The Art Of Getting Vigorous

Is comprised in one very simple piece of adj
vice. improve digestion. No elaborate system
of dietetics is needed If you lack vigor use
Systematically lhat pleasant promoter of it,
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters- If you take this
hint, and do not commit any excuses, there is
no reason why you should not gain in strength.
appetite and weight Hosts of whilom in
valids are to-day building foundation for
years of vigorous health with this sound and
thorough renovator of a dllapidated physique
and failing energy. Dyspepsia is eradicated
by it, and the constitution fortified against
disorders to which. if it were exposed, it must
surely succumb-notably malarial feye
rheumatism, inactivity of the kidneys and
bladder, nervousness. and their various symp-
toms, disappear when it is used with per-
sisiency, not abandoned after a brief and
irregular trial.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-09-17
A Word to rtineraiOgistS.

Since the organization of the Agassiz
Association, one OF its most unexpected
results has been the marked influence
eXerted on the methods of instruction
and the course OF study in many pub
lie private schools. 1t has been dem
onstrated that there is widespread
desire on the part of the young to ac-
quire practical knowledge of natural
science.
This Association gives great. aid to
all such persons, but from the nature
of the case, the A. A. must operate
more in the way of stimulating and en-
couraging students, and melting
schools to give better scientific instruc-
ton, than by actual direct teaching.
Probably it would be very moderate
estimate TO suppose that the study of
plants, insects. and birds has been in
trOduced into more than hundred in
situations during the last five wears
through the agency OF our Society.
But IN the department of mineralogy
the case seems to be different The
desire of learning is quite as strong
and general as IN any of the other
branches, but the number of compe-
tent instructors is greatly less. Prob
ably ten teachers feel able to teach the
elements of botany from the specimens,
for every one who dares attempt prac-
tical work in mineralogy. The grow
ing demand for instruction will event
ually cause an increase in the number
OF good teachers; but in the meanwhile,
has not our Association, in this
branch of study, very important field
for its special work assistance and en-
couragement? An enthusiastic miner
alogist could easily arrange and con-
duct through these pages snort course
in mineral observation and analysis,
sufficiently extended, to awaken
throughout the whole country in the
minds OF young and old a strong desire
and determination to learn about min
eral formations, and also to illustrate,
for the benefit of all, the right methods
of study AMI of teaching.
The president of the A. A, not being
practical mineralogist, hesitates
about preparing such course himself,
and hereby invites any philanthropic
specialist in this department, or in its
kindred branch, geology, to volunteer
to conduct course OF easy lessons in
the observation of minerals. Harlan
II. Ballard, Lenor, Nass., in 81. NlcA-
0tGS for September.