davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-01-31
.sim's EnYesksnent Is.
Mark Twain, in Century.

Mark Twain, in Century.
jim knowed all kinds OF signs He |
said he knowed most everything. |
said it looked to me like all the signs
was about bad luck, and 20 | asked |
him if there warn't no good-luck signs.
He says;
"Mighty few-an' day ain't no use
to a body. What you want to know
when good luck's a-comin' for?-want
to keep it OFF," And he said III
you's got hairy arms en- HAIRY breas'
it's a sign dat yous agwine to be rich.
Well, dey's some use in sign like
dat, kase it's SO fur ahead. You see,
may be you's got to be po' long time
lust. en- so you might git discourage
en- kill yo'sef 4 you didn't know by
de sign dat you gwine to be rich bime-
by?'
Have you got hairy arms an hairy
breast, Jim?"
whats de use to ak dat? Don'tyou
see has?"
"Are you rich?"
"No; but ! ben rich wunst, and Pse
gwine to be rich agin. Wunst | had
foteen dollars, but tuck to specula-
tn, en- got busted"
"What did you speculate in, Jim2"
"Well, fust / tackled stock"
"WhSt kind?"
"Why, live stock. Cattle, you
know. l put $40 in a cow. But |
amt gwine to risk no more money in
stock. De COW up m died on my
hans"
"And so you lost your ten dollars,
did your"
mo; l didn't lose it ALL l only los
bout nine ob it. ] sole de hide an tai
Ter for $1.10,"
"You had $50 left. Did you spec
ulate any more?"
Eyes, You know dat one-laigged
niger dat blongs to Gle Misto Brad
ishY Well, he sot up bank, en- say
anybody dat put in dollar would git
TO- dollars mo- at de en- er de year
Well, all de niggers went in, but dey
didn't have much wuz de on'y one
dat had much. So l stuck out for mo
dan TO dollars, en- said ef l didn'
git it I'd start bank mysef. Well, o
course dat niger want to keep ms
out er de business, bekase he cay dey
warn't business 'nough for two hanks
so he say could put in my five dol
lars en- he pay me thirty-fve ct de en-
or de year.
$50 done it. Den l reck'n'd II
invest de thirty-fve dollars right Of
en- keep things a-movin' Day wuz
niger name Bob, dat he'd ketchcd
& wood-hat en- his marster didn't knoy
it en- bought it offn him, en- toll
him to take de s35 when de en- err q
year come; but somebody stole d
wood-Aat dat night, en- mex day d
one-legged niger say de banks say d
banks busted So dey didn't none u
us git no money"
aWhat did you do with the te
cents, Jim?'
@Well, I'us gwyne to spen' it, but
had dream, en- de dream tole mo
give it to a Niger name Balum-Bi
um's Ass dey call him, for short; he
one er dem chuokleheads, you know
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-01-31
EEe VIII Got Inc Hint.

Fred Douglass says that be does not
intend 10 surrender his Office unless
Cleveland should hint that some one
else could fill it just as well. Mr..
Cleveland is very likely to hint in p
way not to be misunderstanding.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-01-31
WHO KILLED Cock reObi "a.

New Haven Newsl
There's no longer any doubt as to
who killed Cock Robin Blaine, In
this case Cock Robin simply commit
ted suicide and, like Paddy's uncle,
was dead before he knew it.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-01-31
Science Hill. Institute,
JOHNSON CITY. TENN.

The next session of this school vii
begin September LIST, 1884, and con
tinue So weeks. Course OF study thor
ough and complete, The most com
petent and best trained teachers. The
teacher of music will be lady of ex-
perience, possessing the highest degree
of culture both in vocal and instru-
mental music,
Primary department per term Of months 1920
Academic " " " 1919
Junior Collegiate " " 80
Senior $50
Music, with use Of instrument $500
A contingent fee of $100 each per
term of Az months, or $500 for the
session must be paid in advance,
Good board at reasonable rates.
w. A. EVANS,
Prin. Science Hill Institute.
July 26, 1884.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-01-31
Sleeping Service.

Nos. l 4 have Pullman Sleeper, between Mem
phis and New York via Shenandoah Valley
route. Also Pullman Sleeping Cars between
Cleveland and New Orleans via Calera and
Montgomery.
Nos. "A have Pullman Palace Sleeping cars
between Chattanooga and New York, via
Shenandoah Valley Route; also Pullman
Sleeping cars bet%cGn New Orleans and
Washington, via Atlanta Cleveland and
Lynchburg,
ALSO Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars between
Knoxville and Louisville on Nos. IS and &c
via Jellico.
A. POPE, G.P.&T. Agt
Knoxville, Team
F. X. HUGER, Supt, Knoxville, Tenn
JOSEPH GOTHARD, A, q. 7. A. Knoxville Tenn
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-01-31
]. 2. HEIRoETFFUs

OFFERS his services to the people Of johnson
City, as FIRST CLASS House Painter Paper Hang
er, etc. Rough Board Walls canvassed and pa
percd in a superior manner. This class of work
Il particularly adapted to winter finish. when
plaster freezes. 1T is DURABLE AND CHEAP
kalseomining done 10 order Buggies and Car
riaces repainted. g$S-I am here to stay. and
mean business. Give me q call
sinoy2sw4 ]. B. HEIR0NIMUs.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-01-31
CONNECTIONS.

AT CHATTANOOGA with railroad lines diyerging,
making direct close connection for al points
Northwest West ana Southwest.
AT CLEVELAND with Georgia and Alabama ri
vision for Atlanta and all points South,
Southeast and Southwest
AT KNOXVILLE with Ohio Division and Knox
vile and Augusta Railroad
AT JUNCTION CITY with c., N. 0. ct. P. R. R.
North and South.
AT JELLICO with Louisville and Nashville Rail
road Tor Louisville and northwestern points.
AT MoRRIsTowN with North Carolina Division
for Warm Springs, n. G., and all Western
and Middle North Carolina points.
At RoGERsyILLE JUNCTION with Rogersyille and
JefieTsOnylle Railroad.
At JoHSsoN's with East Tennessee Il Western
North Carolina Railroad.
At BRISTOL with Norfolk and Western Railroad
connecting closely for all Virginia and East
err cities, via Lyuchburg and all Eastern
Middle and Northern States points, via Roam
oke and ShonOndeah Valley Route.
AT WARM SPRINGS With Western North Carolirs
Railroad for A5heville N0rgantou, States
vile, Salisbury and all points in North Car
DINA
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
A Mothers Heroic Act.

From the New York Tribunel
A few miles south OF Marlborough,
Md, is a chasm which is spanned by
an open trestle bridge. To the bot
tom Of the chasm at the deepest point
is perhaps sixty feet. The railroad
approaches this bridge around a
sharp curve, and the engineer of a
train cannot see the bridge until near
it. The other afternoon as the Pope's
Greek south-bound passenger train
sped round the curve nearing the
bridge, the engineer was Mortified to
see a woman crossing the bridge on
the railroad track, carrying IN her
arms an infant and leading by the
hand q child Of perhaps B years OF
age. The engineer at once applied the
air brakes and blew the danger signal
but he saw it was impossible to stop
the train before he reached the point
where the woman was. She heard the
train approaching, turned and looked
at it, saw the horror of her situation
in one quick, intense glance. Below
the heavy rains mad filled the chasm
until it had become a torrent. To
Jump from the bridge would be to find
NAOCuUn III U1lC W1UC1s w 1OlIACUAlA NAlOAO
she was few seconds longer would be
to meet instant death. Several per-
sons who were near the track at the
time and who saw her situation, made
signs to the engineer to stop, but he
was powerless although he struggled
until the sweat stood out in great
drops from every pore. Then he
rushed forward toward the front Of
the locomotive with the intention of
essaying the daring feat of Selling the
woman and dragging her to the COW
catcher. At this the woman caught
both children in one arm, with the
other she firmly seized one Of the ties
on which the track is laid and swung
herself between the ties and below the
bridge and the train passed over her.
1t was so quickly done that the spec
tators supposed she had jumped from
the bridge. As soon as the train could
be stopped Conductor G. A. Haver-
stick and Brakeman Honeymann
rushed back to the spot where the
woman was seen to disappear. They
found her clinging to the tie with one
arm and holding her two little ones
with the other. From this perilous
position they we're soon rescued, the
woman much exhausted, but all OF
them without bruise or a scratch.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
Buoys Lighted by Gas.
from the London Times.

from the London Times.J
Four more gas-ighted buoys upon
Pintsch's principle are just being sent
off to the Suez Canal to join the eight
already doing satisfactory duty there.
The buoys are charged with COM
pressed oil gas, and will burn for days
or weeks, according to size, without
any attention whatever. The first of
q. new pattern of gas beacon on the
same principle is to be put up in the
Clyde on the Gantcch Rocks, in Au-
gust next. It has two red lights and
viii burn for five weeks with one filling
of gas. Pintsch's principle is making
progress on railways, both at home
and abroad, 1926 carriages and en-
gines being fitted with it in England,
13, 475 in Germany, the place of it's
birth, and 1928 in other parts of the
continent and the United States OF
America, making a total of 2O,324.
The superiority of this light over the
old oil lamp in railway carriages al
ways prompts the wish, when it's ad-
vantages are experienced, that it's use
was much more general.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
Sex in School Salaries.
[From the Woman's Journal


Omaha, Neb., has followed the ex-
ample OF Wyoming Territory, and set
the country an honest example by or
dering That the pay of women teachers
shall hereafter be the same as that
paid to men Of the same grade in the
schools. AS a general rule, through
out the country, our municipal au-
thorltles are paying women from one
third to one-half what they pay men
for the same amount and quality OF
work. We congratulate the friends of
equal rights for women upon this
practical result of the good seed sown
IN Nebraska during the Woman-suffrage
campaign of 1883. Another and
equally important step remains to be
taken. Our public school-system, as
at present administered, not only dis
eliminates in salaries on account of
sex, but reserves frst-class positions
and salaries solely for the men, thus
condemning women to subordinate
positions. In order to secure Just
treatment to women as teachers, ap.
pointments to all positions in the
schools, including that of principal,
should be based upon merit as tested
by an examination analogous to thai
established by the civil-service com
mlssioners. To these examinations
men and women should alike be ad-
mltted as candidates. This discrimin-
alton on account of sex is a relic OF
barbarism, in the schools as every
where else.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
Religious Light-Weights,
IReY. Sam. Jones. /

"You know when God wants to
launch out His laws into force to do
work for himself He don't count noses
and see how many noses He has got.
He goes by weight. He puts up scales
and weighs us. Do you understand !?
There is many a great 2OO-pound
Methodist or Baptist around this
country, and you put him on Gods
scale and he don't weigh an ounce.
He has a great, big, fat body; but if
you could pull out his soul and show
it, then he would say: what is that
starved, shriveled, shrunken thing
you have got there? Why, it hasn't
had q square meal in ten years. ;"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
DOMESTIC ECONOMY,

TARTS.
One-haf cup butter, one-half CUP
sweet milk, two teaspoons cream tar.
tar, one of soda.
BROWN BREAD.
Two cups corn meal, one cup graham
meal, one cup rye, two cups sour milk,
one of sweet, one cup molasses, three
small teaspoons soda.
COOKIES.
One cup sugar, one-haf cup butter,
one-half cup sweet milk, one-half tea
spoon soda dissolved in the milk, -four
to roll well. Cut in squares quite thin.
Brisk oven.
FAIRY SAUCE.
One-quarter pound of butter, one
half pound Of sugar, one-half nutmeg
grated, one glass of milk. Beat the
butter and sugar to q cream, add the
milk and nutmeg.
CORN BREAD.
One and One-half cups cOrn-meal,
one and one-half tablespoons sugar,
outter size small egg, one cup milk, one
hall cup flour, one egg, one-haf tea
spoon bakingso if sour milk is used,
one teaspoon baking powder if sweet
milk is preferred.
CHILDREN'S CAKE.
Half pound sugar; quarter pound
butter; two pounds flour; one pound
Zante currants, washed and dried;
hall ounce caraway seeds; one table
spoonful ground allspice; two table
spoonfuls brewers yeast, one pint
milk. Cream the sugar and butter,
rub to q smooth paste with the flour,
currants, seeds and spice: stir the
yeast into the milk, gently warmed,
make up the dough lightly, and knead
it well. Put into pans lined with but
tered paper, and set in warm place
to rise, for an hour and a half. Bake
in quick oven.
GLAZED CUCUMBERS.
Cut the cucumbers into quarters,
split them in the middle, remove their
seeds; peel them, let them blanch for
few minutes; then range them in a
stewpan, spread with slices of raw
ham, moisten them with a. little gravy
let them boil, letting the moisture re-
duce to glaze; then dish them up.
Dilute the stock of the stewpan with a
little white wine, let it boil, thicken
it with q little kneaded butter; pass
the sauce, through a sieve, over the
cucumbers. Glazed cucumbers may
be masked with bechamel sauce, white
sauce, brown sauce and even with
tomato sauce.-DubOiS
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
"A Professor and His ''SOul Pills.
[From the Boston Gazette

: A Viennesse professor, by name
Jaeger, has had a very successful
career IN the Austrian capital with
what he calls "soul pills" from the
sale OF which he has made fortune.
Prof. Jaeger claims to have discovered
that the human soul is not an i'm
material spirit, but an odor emanating
from the person, and notably distin-
gulshable in the hair. This odor the
professor has decoyed, bottled, and
afterwards infused into capillary
pills." Taken internally, these pills
are supposed to impart to their swat.
lower the best moral and mental
qualities OF another person. The
learned professor has not explained
how he extracts the bad qualities OF
the Individual from the original soul
or smell. But his theory is not hall
as remarkable as is the fact that there
has been wild mania for these pills
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
An Oregon Sunday School Teacher

A writer on the Portland, Ore, OBJ
server says that he recently ap-
preached mansion situated on
Poverty Flat, and observed the
daughter Of the house in the front
yard placing a mans saddle on an
Oregon horse that objected to this
when standing with reluctant feet
womanhood and childhood meet" /
offered my assistance as she was hop
ping around on her right foot, her lett
foot in the stirrup, while she firmly
grasped the bride bit in her left hand.
The cayuse, meanwhile, was making
mad bounds, believing as only an
Oregon horse can below, and standing
first on his hind feet, then on his fore.
mo, thanks; I can manage him"
she said, and vaulted into the saddle,
not sideWise, but otherwise. ;f
The instant the girl gained the sad
die, and the horse felt that she was
there, down went his head, an arch
sprung in his back, and away he went,
jumping, stiff legged, over sage brush
six feet high, until horse and rider dis
appeared in the distance. After a
while she came back at a laundering
gallop and refined up at the door, a
trife excited but smiling.
OF course no corn-fed girl in the
state could hope to do as well as this
production of the bunch-grass hills.
But character goes for more than triv-
ial incident, and of the gentler sex it
must be said that here, as elsewhere,
they teach in the Sunday schools, and
are the shining lights that point out
the way onward and upward to the
weary and faltering feet OF the sons OF
men.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
Suggested From the Scrap-Book
from the Medical WOrld.1

From the Medical World
Equal parts OF oil of caiuput and oil
of peppermint, applied locally, relieve
the pain of neuralgia and govt.
If croton oil be shaken up with
alcohol it's irritating properties are dis
solved, and it acts as a powerful but
benign purgaJive.
Strong black tea, used cold, forms
an excellent prophylactic against COM
mon. "sore throat" A solution OF
table salt, one drachm to pint, is also
efficacious.
The injurious actions of coffee on the
organs of digestion is said to. be obvi-
ated by the use of sugar with it, and
in this case it is not only harmless but
absolutely beneficial.
An alkalold derived from the inner
bark of the pear tree has cured cases
of intermittents which have resisted
quinine, arsenic etc. The alkaloid is
called ''pereirine," andis givenin guam
titles Of thirty grains per day. DR..
Gerreira, of Brazil, considered that it
may become a rival to quinine, and
DR.. Baker, OF Brazil, thinks that it
destined to become a great blessing to
malarial regions.
Thedepression ofspirits and nervous
exhaustion for the relief ofwhich many
persons fly to large or repeated doses
ofalcohol, may be much more effectual-
ly combatted by salvolatile (aromatic
spirits of ammonia) in suitable doses,
say drachm. This restores the spirits
and rouses the energy to a remarkable
manner, and is reefrom thepernicious
effects at tending the use, or abuse OF
whisky and brandy.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
Stanley on Slave Hunting in Africa.

The slave traders admit they have
only $500 in this fold; yet they have
raided through the length and breadth
Of a country larger than Ireland,
bearing fire and spreading carnage
with lead and iron; villages and for
ty-three districts have been wasted, out
of which is only educed this scant prof
it of $500 females and children and
about 1900 tusks of ivory To OBJ
tain these $500 slaves they must
have shot round NUMBER of $500
people while 1900 more died on the
wayside through scant provisions and
the intensity of their hopeless
Indebtedness.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
The Bat and the Bass.
from the Philadelphia Times.


A bat flew into the billiard-room Of a
hotel, at Greenwood Lake, the other
evening, and was knocked down by
one of the players, who struck at it
with a billiard cue. 1t f1uttered be
hind some wine cases, and was not
found until next morning, when one OF
the boys pulled it from its hiding
place and tossed 1T into a boat in
which Cofair, the guide, was about to
cross the lake. Atisherman occupying
the stern seat laid aside his tackle and
picked up the bat to examine it. He
found that one of the creatures wings
was broken, and in turning it over got
his finger too close to its mouth. In an
instant four needle-like teeth were
driven into his finger tip, and with an
exclamation of pain and anger he
shook the bat loose and cast it out on
the surface of the lake Asthe manned
creature futtered about in the water,
the guide stopped rowing to watch it.
and his passenger sucked his finger and
muttered few deep-drawn impreca,
tions.
Suddenly, with swirl and splash,
a magnificent bass, fully eighteen
inches long, ingulfed the bat in his ca
pacious jaws and shot full length out
of water. "Served him right said
the victim of the creatures teeth, and
turningt to theguide, he asked: "What's
the matter with getting some more
bats for bait %
Before the guide could answer the
bat rose to the surface, crushed, but
still gasping. Cofair smiled as he said
~ thought that a black bass was
hog enough to eat almost anything, but
/ guess a bat is little too strong, even
for a. bass"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26

was said about the foreign difficulty ?"
Gov. Curtin declined to do so in the
same respectful language he had en-
ployed in Paris.
"Well, Twill tell you what was said
to you, exactly" said the ear, and he
proceeded to repeat the conversation
the governor had had. The informa-
ton had reached the car through the
Russian spy system, which is world
renowned
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26

IN Vienna and that there sale has been
enormous. The government has final
ly taken the matter in hand, and has
used extreme measures to suppress the
professor and his soul pills. 1t has
been truly said that nothing is too in
credulous for human credulity, and the
quack medicine inventors. faith in
this axiom is the source of his pros
Perlty: The "soul pill'' as a flight of
fancy beats even the mind cure
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26

lie,
-. -IIage;
So ~ for life,
happy wife,
H-o, A carriage.
Ter eyes,
austen! CHAPTER III.
A thrilling dance, A mothers tears,
A killing glance, fathers sneers:
A capture: Forget her!"
snowy glove, A postman's knock,
The pledge of love A dreaded shock:
O, rapturel letter.
A twilight shade, new-found son,
Where plans are made Two parents won:
Delightful! A dover!
A fond embrace: A little cad
A prying face Their nephew-sad
How spiteful! And sour.
A swift goodbye, CHAPTER w.
A stifed sigh
Conjecture baby boy,
A mothers room, Mas precious Joy,
A daughters gloom: Is sleeping:
A lecture. little girl,
Pas precious pearl,
CHAPTER H. Is peeping.
A hurried fight, A happy pair
A darksome night Upon one chair
That covers: Converslng
A heartfelt prayer, While grandpapa
Breathed by a pair And grandmama
OF lovers Are nursing!
Chambers Journal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26

THE Mahdi, who did not marry un-
til he was 40 years old, leaves four
mothers-in-law.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1885-09-04
NOTES.

Seating accommodations for an au-
dicnce during the continuance of speak
| ing is needed improvement nj the
| grounds.
The Germania band played ut the
grounds each afternoon, and made the
occasion much more enjoyable. 1t is,
or ought Ia be, great source of pride
| To the city of Mankato that we have so
excellent Il band to serve us on such oc-
caslons, instead of engaging an alien
band ut eXtortionate prices.
The delay in getting the crowd to-
gether to hear the speaker was Il source
OF annoyance to many. 1t would be
well to avoid such circumstances on fu-
ture occasions if possible.
The Edwin Barbour company band are
on the grounds each afternoon and rem
der some of their choicest selections.
We notice that Jensen & Firestone
report by placard the sale of four OF
their excellent buggies, one to Senator
Crosby, Lnverne, Lone TO Nj. X. Holmes,
Madelia, and one each To l.. p. Hunt
and q. i. Piper, Mankato.
Mrs. A. M. Scudder of Mankato, had
II head of Grant carved out of butter.
Mr.. II. p. Christensen, superintcn-
dent of the department of machinery,
concluded, after II careful examination
of all the exhibits, not To award any
premiums or diplomas, as each display
is highly meritorious and worthy of Il
good premium, but to distinguish is Il
difficult thing to do
The w. c. T. L. displayed "a very
pretty banner, appropriately noticed.
The motto was placed on velvet in
paint, and chinile work.