The Opelousas courier., 1885-01-03
Jim's Investments.
a Colored Citizen Demonstrates nhy
Signs of Good Luck are Useless.

aAS 6oo0 SiSuSs
He says
mighty few-an' dey ain no use to
a body. What you want to know
when good lnck's a-comin' for?-want
to keep it off 2" And he said IF you's
got hairy arms en- a hairy bres' it's a
sign you's agwagae to be rich, Well,
dey's some use in a sign Iike.dat, 'kase
it's so fur ahead. You see, may be
you's got to be po' a long time fust, en-
SO you might git discourage en- kill
yo'sef f you didn' know by de sign dat
yon was gwyne to be rich bymeby.'
Have you got hairy arms and a hal
~ breast. Jim?'
What de use to AK dat question ?
Don't you see | has 2"
well, are you raich"
mo, but | ben rich wunst, en- gwyne
to be rich agin. Wunst / had fo'teen
dollars, but I tuck to speculat'n, en- got
busted OUT
What did you speculate in, Jim 2"
"Well, fust l tackled stock"
what kind of stock 7"
"Why, live stock. Cattle, you kno':.
| put ten dollars in a COW. But amt
gwyne TO risk no mo money in stock.
De COW up'n died on my hands"
so, you lost the ten dollars? p
mo, | didn't lose it all. | only los
bout nine of it. sole de hide en- tai
Ter for a dollar en- ten cents.n
You had five dollars and ten cents
left. Did you speculate any more z"
Eyes. You know dat one-laigged
niger dat b'longs to ole Misto Brad
ish? Well, he sout up a bank, en- say
aaobody dat put in a dollar would git
fo' dollars mo- at de en-, er de year
Well, all de niggers went in, but dey
didn' have much. / wuz de on,y.on Ii
dat had much. So I stuck out for mo-
dan TO dollars, en- I said If didn't git
it Id start a bank mysef. Well, of
course dat niger want to keep me out
er de business, bekase he say dey
warn't business 'nough for two banks,
so hesay | could put in my five dol
lars en- he pay me thirty-fve at de en-
er de year.
so done it. Den / reck'n'd I'd in
yes de $35 right off en- keep things a.
movin'. Dey was a niger name Bob,
dat had ketched a wood-fat, en- his
marster didn' know it, en- / bought it,
of'n him to take de $35 when de en-
er de year come, but some body stole
de wood-fat dat night, en- mex day de
one-legged niger say de bank busted.
So dey didn't none Nv us git no mon
ey.n
What did You do with the ten cents,
Jim ~
well, ! 'uz gwyneto spen' it, but !
had a dream, en- de dream tole me to
give it to a niger name Balum--Bal-
um's Ass dey call him, for short !; he's
one er, dem chuckle-heads, yon know.
But he's lucky, dey say, en- / see /
Warn't lucky. De dream say let Bal
inves' de ten cents en- he'd make a
raise for me. Well, Balum he tuck do
money, en- when he was in church he
heard de preacher say dat whoever Civ,
de po' len to de Lord, en- boun to
git his money back a hundred times.
So Balum he tuck en- give the ten cents
70 de po', en- laid low to see what wuz
gwyne to come ofit.n
well, what did come of it, Jim ~
Muffin never come of it. I couldn,
manage to k'leck dat money no way /;
Balum he couldn't. / aim gWyne to
en- no mo- money don't I'see dc seen
'ity. Boun' to git you money back a.
hundred times. de preacher says T Eff I
'ould git de ten cents back, I'd call it
'quah, en- be glad er the chanst."
"Well, it's all right anyway, Jim,
ong as you're going t6sbe rich again
,ome slime or other.n
aYes-en rs rich now, come to look
It it. I owns myself, On rs with eight
lundred dollars. But live stocks too
isky, Huck. I wisht / hud de eight
dollars, en- somebody else had
le nIgger.1 MARX TWAIN.
The paWnbrokers throughout Russia
long been notorious for the extor-
ions which they practice upon poor
whose necessities compel them
. have cours to the paWnshops, and
5ount Tolstoi Minister of the Interior,
Ias determined upon q measure which
lppeals strongly to the favor Of the
II Is stated that after Jan, r.,
500. the Russian imperial government
vii monopolize the business of pawn
rocking, and will establish q monts de
iste \ IN all cities and towns where
hey shall be found necessary. to be
ondncted upon the system now prac-
iced IN Austria. The government will
Of seek to make q profit out OF the
I~usiness, but only to make it pay the
ctual cost Of rent. clerk, hire, etc. To-
81