The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-07-31
NO. "a.
MY First Love-Letter.
Through Mail.

Through Mall.
When was about fifteen years old,
l fell violently in love with a widow
who had a little farm, large mole on
her chin and nine small children. 1t
was not case of mild, inoflensive af-
fection, buta regular, zygmotic, malig-
nant attack that doubled me right up
into hard double-knot and threat
ened my existence. She was about
thirty-nine years old, and her husband
had been killed in the army, and ev-
erybody else spoke well of her and pit
led her, so | spoke well of her and
pitied her, too, and when she told
some of my numerous sisters that L
was one of the sweetest boys in the
neighborhood, that settled it with me.
/ thenceforth looked upon her as my
own darling prospect of happy fu-
ture beyond the grave.
cannot now remember that she ev-
er exhibited any more affection for me
than she showed in her conduct to-
ward my sisters, but she had said that
/ was the sweetest boy in the neigh
borhood, and in my feverish state of
mind. could not help feeling that
there was wealth of ardent love done
up in that little bundle of words. At
Sunday-school on the following Sab
bath. she looked across toward me
while was mentally praying for her,
and smiled. In that smile, l saw
wealth, fame, love, honor, and a large
family, but l had not acquired suffici-
ent experience to convince me that
smile of such dimensions was too much
for me. 1t warmed me like base
burner, and when the services had
reached an end, plucked up courage
enough to ask her if l might go home
with her. Joy, Joy, joy! She consented.
looking so smiling and pleasant that
felt that if were to climb two rungs
higher on the ladder of happiness,
would be able to look right over the
wall into the joyous realm where tho
man whose shoes l wished to wear,
was basking in the glorious sunlight
among the angels.
now remember that she looked at
her children as if she felt pleased to
know that ! was willing to play with
them when asked her if l might go
home with her, but l was blind with
love, then, and thought she was glad to
have me in her own sweet company
When we reached her humble cottage,
she told me l could 60 out in the or
chard with the other children and
gather all the apples l could eat. How
happy l was! And when her babies
looked upon me as l shook down the
ripe fruit, how strangely excellent /
felt, as 1 thought of the blessed future,
when they would call me papa, and
would reciprocate by gently taking the
largest ones by the collar and lamming
the everlasting hills with them until
they would humbly bow down their
heads in my presence and yield me good
obedience.
By five o'clock, l was sufficiently re-
covered to go home. When there, my
paroxysms of devotion to the widow be.
came more violent, and determined to
delay no longer lest some brave man
l looked upon myself as man, would
have itunderstood-shou capture the
inestimable prize. got hold of piece
of paper and short pencil, and going
to the barn, where the eyes of cold
and heartless world would not be
upon me, wrote the following touch
ing appeal:
OMEGA Marion Co., ILL.,, March 49,
DedT mlSSuS u uUu Wdut " SlfO
her away, as she is now respectable
old grandmother, so l will fictate lit
tie on the name), McGruder. i want
too marcy NEE when am a Man.
love you awefully Bad, and you know
1t.
1.-THE Rose is Red the vyolcks blew,
Handy is sweat and So air yew."
''Shure's the Moss grows Round the stump,
Yew air My Sweetest Shugger lump"
i am awefull loveingly yewers,
From feelings of modesty, 1 suppress
my own name, also. / never was noted
for wishing to intrude my name upon
the public after anything had been
stolen or some other meanness had
been done and people were trying to
find who did it. Her reply, which my
mother received and read in my alb
sence, crushed out the last spark OF
hope in my soul and resulted in my
being ANONYMOUSLY spanked. 1t read:
Dear boy: l have all the children
1 know how to support. If your folks
won't let you stay at home, apply to
q founding asylum. Yours truly >
ssMRs MC(yRrDER