Morning journal and courier., 1885-10-15
ELECTED.

Of course we do not wish to prevent ladies calling upon us, but will merely mention the fact that there are mice in our editorial rooms.-Lowell Citizen.
 A prohibition journal says that Professor Frost has taken the stump. His brother Jack is getting ready to take the rest of the land scape.-Burlington Free Press.
 Freshman professor (holding up written exercise)E''I perceive that this one was cop jed from outside helps. The man who handed it ill will remain.-Yale Record.
 An American girl wears big bouquet in her belt, while Hindoo maiden wears big brass ring in her nose. It amounts to the same thing. Each has 8 se-gay.-Lowell Citizen.
 s'What wonderful man.''' said the lady as she read some verses the museum manager was exhibiting. 'sWhat an extraordinary writer!" Wonderful marm. <: Why, he's genius! He ain't got no arms. He writes them verses with his toes"
 She-Oh, you are looking at that picture I draw othat. He-Did you Then you're luck is as bad as mine, guess. I've spent don't know how many dollars in lottery tickets and I never drew thing that was worth anything. g.-Boston Transcript.
 ''That was pretty big steal, though, you had down there. Let me see; he got away with $21 ,00O000 wasn't it2'' f:No, no; I hIioW GuG Ildll we'll. IudG story WAS d pure fabrication. It was 8 shameful, iniquitous outrage. He only got away with $14 ,000, 900. This was every cent, I assure you."- San Francisco Chronicle.
 Lady Gin art store)-Have you any paint ings that you can guarantee to be real old masters2 Proprietor-We have few, mad am, that well authenticated. What par ticular study subject would you prefer? Lady Ca little undecided) )-Well-er & bit of \ Adirondack q inl haven't that, Niagara Falls in mid winter would do.-San Francisco Ingleside Our office boy is genius. The other day we found him practising at a little target with revolver. "You mustn't do that, Billy" said we. "You will be firing through the partition and killing some of the men on the other side" ''No fear of that, sir. I you'll be shooting through the target" ''Oh, no, sir. I'm all right there. It is 8 slab of boarding house steak. k."-Fall River Advance.
 Police Justice-You were drunk last night? :? Prisoner-Yes, your honor, but it's the first time. Pm a hard working man, sir, and .'What do you work att" ''Im a bricklayer, sir" ''Show me your hands," The prison CT showed pair of horny hands. "All oner. An, sir, you are hard working man, toos" ''Yes, your honor, and Pm the presi- dent of the Laboring Mans Agitation asso- ciation." '+So! Show me your tongue. D. Chicago News.
 An extra quarter.-A peddlar of tinware in one of the mountain counties of this State called at farmhouse the other day where the woman wanted to sell him bearskin s' 'Tain't worth no great shakes" said the peddlar, after looking it over. ''fhe bar was killed two months too early" 'sHow much!' asked the woman. ''About seventy five cents." 'fSee here, stranger" she continued as she gave the skin rub, "when tell you that this 'ere bar clawed my husband tc death less'n two months ago and that Pm still grievin' widder woman, can't you make the price dollar!" Being man of senti- ment and tinware combined he said he could. Wall Street News.