The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-11-21
THE MULE ON sHlPBoARD.
Narrowing Incidents from the Experience
of a Guano Skipper.

Oluu 0N6I SEC uul6 Ou snip
boardP" exclaimed old Captain Elliott,
of the barkentine Blazing Hot, as he
. cooked his weather eye to windward and
smiled the smile of conscious superiority.
"Then all l can say, shipmate, is that
your nautical eddication has been neg
lected."
The weather-beaten skipper stuffed
kalf a pound of long cut into his left
cheek, hauled his shoulder braces taut,
and launched into the subject with rel
ish
"a mule" said the Captain, sis the
sailors greatest joke. To the men be-
fore the mast he is the embodiment of
humor, and yarn about the animal is
sure to set the foe site in roar"
"Why is this thusP" inquired the re-
porter.
"WhyP"
For moment the Captain looked as
if he had lost his bearings. Then his
eye lighted up with saline satisfaction
and he smiled grimly as who should say:
81 can answer such question as. that
by dead reckoning.
'Why? Well, faint no such awful
mystery, young man. 'Twixt you an
me an the galley l guess it's because
the mule is such dreadful funny beast.
1t don't need no Imagination to make
him seem so. The best fun | ever saw
with mule was down to the Chincha
Islands, below Callao, where they take
on cargos of guano. When vessel goes
there the Captain buys mule outright
and then sells him again cheap when
he's done loadiu' up. There isn't any
grass on the island-nothin' but guano
and the mules will eat most anything
they can get. They're the darndest
thieves you ever see, and good bye to
the sailors biscuit if they get an eye
upon them. remember once -"
Here the Captain doubled up as if a
bad attack of cramps had seized upon
him and went off into conniption fiji
which lasted for ten minutes.
II remember once" he resumed,
when the gale had passed over, ga sly
old mule we had at Chincha that 1 paid
thirteen dollars for. You never saw
such an old devil in all your born days.
He made himself thoroughly at home
on board ship, and consumed everything
he could lay tooth to, from the plum
duff to the sailors shirts hung up to
dry. One day -"
Here the Captain snorted again and
swallowed his quid, but did not seem to
mind it any more than the mule did the
shirts.
s-~'- ttfNoo dhxy tba ,,,,,Ia found h;e ,x,o =,
into the galley, drank up the boiling
soup, swallowed gill of cayenne pep.
per. which made him smile and yawp
like chicken with the pip, overturned a
bucket of corn meal, and then looked
about for more. His eye fell upon big
chunk of cold corned beef He shifted
at it and seemed to like the flavor, and
then, picking it up with his teeth, he
carried it out on deck and coolly pro-
ceeded toeat it. We caught him Just as
he was rounding off with the fat. The
sailors kicked him about the head and
stomach few hundred times, but the
joke was too good for them to get real
mad.
Zone day that mule"
The captain wrestled with an internal
cyclone for spell and then continued:
Zone day that mule caught sight
of cabbage near an open hatch.
way. The hatch was resting cornerwist
over the hole, and he climbed upon il
anG reached for the vegetable. The
hatch tipped up and down the mule
went, heels over head, into the guano
When we rushed to the rescue there
wasn't anything in sight but his foul
feet, kicking like all possessed. We
had to rig tackle to get HIM out, anC
he was near suffOcated when we got his
nose into the air. wish you could SCI
that mule when we got him on deck! w
had to dig the muck out of his eye
with a shovel"
Captain Elliott yelled like Comanche
and coughed up the swallowed tobacco
THAT mule was the stubbornest ANNA
you ever see. He would haul on tn,
block and tackle to a certain line, ant
then when the tackle was changed anC
you wanted him to walk to another I'm
a little further along the only way vol
could persuade him to do so was to tax
a club and knock him down. After
few arguments of this kind he would
take up with the new line. We had
great time getting that mule landed. w
lowered him with block and tackle int
the lifeboat and rowed rs near the shor
as possible. Then we asked him to wal
the rest Of the way, but he shook hi
head and said he wouldn't 90. A line wa
fastened around his neck and haule
taut, but he wouldn't bulge Finally W
manned his starboard legs and gave hin
sudden list to port. Down he went
heels up, in the water till his back struc
the pebbly bottom. When he came u
he seemed chock full of water. H
snorted like porpoise and climbed 70
the shore. When he struck dry land h
Just whisked his tail and went over tn
hill like shot. After that we couldn'
get within mile of him. If ever di
a-laughin' the mule on shipboard Wi
be the cause. IN Y. Herald.