Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-08
BRIGHT BITS.

BEER is an excellent tonic" a little Teu-
tonic for some people, Philadeiphia CAL.
by throwing clods OF earth at each other
sporting men cannot establish Il permanent
turf exchange. -Neec Orleans Picdyun9.
THE men who didn't get warmed up until
ger OF being frozen out again-Pkt2adeiphf
Times
u THINK this sunday ball playing is very
sinful" 1T ought to be stopped $50 it
ought. Why last SUNDAY two OF three OF us
were out fishing and the players in the next
field made such u racket that we didn't catch
single fish. y Phi5ddeJDhfG CAL.
"MY LITTLE Boy said gentleman, you
ought not to eat those green apples. They are
not good for little boys"
They bain't, eh?" the boy replied with his
mouth full. "Guess you don't know much
about 'em. Mister. Three Of these apples III
keep me out of school for week. "-NetC York
Times.
The Savannah NEWS is urgingOu the At
lanta Constitution an explanation Of its re-
cent change OF front on the question Of pro
lection" And for all it's fishing in the sea of
motive our savannah contemporary fails To
get even Il dminutive nibbe Spit on YOUR
hook, neighbor, spit on your hook.-A t6aRg
Neios.
THERE is such thing as being smothered
in honey. A Kansas editor recently drew
prize in lottery and the very same day his
wife had twins-both bOYs-hIs mOther-ln-
law was killed by lightning while in transit
to pay him visit, and man who had owed
him 50 for subscription sent in the money
Troy Press.
GENTLEMAN Ito grocer)-Two gallons Santa
Cruz, one gallon old Tom, two gallons Mary
land Club, four dozen POmmery Sec, four
dozen Milwaukee, and six boxes Rcina Nics.
Groceries, sir; that all, sir? Gentleman
Er-doyou keep fishing tackle? Grocery es,
sir; full line, SIR. Geutleman-Put in couple
OF GshhOoks.-E sochdn0s
Glow are you coming on in business?"
asked a gentleman of Dallas mercanC. II
am having hard time of it Luck is against
me" ~HOW so?" Didn't you hear how
burglars broke open the store and robbed my
rival over the way? just think Of what lot
OF free advertising he gets. don't want TO
fail and get rich but Pm being driven to it,"
-TeeGS Sirtn0s.
A COLOREn WAITER at a summer hotel who
had wandered off for a walk came back with
his eyes bullying out in terror at snake he
had encountered IN his ramble. How long
WAS he, SamY' asked one of the guests. Il
don know 1ackly how long ne wac, boss" an
swered the terrified Ethiop, but I'd swar he
was free or four inches in barometer. ''-BOs-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
$50 you leave for the seashore to- morrow
To worship at galety's shrine?
l can see by your face that your sorrow
At parting does not equal mine.
Since you wish 1t, III write to you often,
OF you ask very much less
That you'll send me, my iahOrs to soften,
Three letters, and those: Yes"
-Ph1it johnson in Lits
AT Narragansett there is the usual sur
plusage of young ladies' over men. The result
is that anything in knickerbockers-even the
merest suggestion Of a MANS Il hero. There
is a story going around that the other night,
under the cover Of darkpess, a young man
stepped ont upon hotel piazza and said
softly: Are YOU there, daThng2" WhereupOn
there came in twenty dve simultaneous Whis-
pers: Yes, dear. "-Pres5uteyiGn.
SCENE in the .-Visitor-"And who
is that bright looking gentleman with the rip
ping smile who seems b. be the life OF the
Office, and, declare, the Others are All laugh
| ing at something he has saidy He is your
humorist, suppose?" EditOr-''No, he il our
obituary writer. He does the solemn work Of
| this OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES the funerals and
writes the obituary notices." NisitOr-"Nhy,
should have thought that that solemn look
| ing man with the Woehegone hLce, who ls
| pushing his fingers through his hair and look
| ing up 10 the ceiling, was your obituary edi-
torY" Editor-"Oh, no! That's our funny
man. - Bosfon COarier.