The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-02-25
SUBSGKIPTIO rs
THE TRAIN FEVER.
An English Humorist Discusses a Pecu-
liar Disease.
London Globe1


London Globe.l
Among the diseases of modern life, and
one which DR.. Richardson has hitherto
paid hardly any attention is the train
fever, an insidious malady which, If 1t Is
not altogether undermining the British
constitution, helps largely to make life
more miserable to many. Some people
escape this disease altogether, but they are
the select few. The majority suffer from
it in one way or another, frequently with
out their knowledge. This fever seiZes
some people every day as soon as their
eyes are opened. They have to be at the
station at $50, say, and life is aZymotio
feTment till they get there. Every move
ment is checked off by the watch if the
victim is rather late in shaving, he has to
make up time over his hair dressing; and
should there be debit balance at the
hour of breakfast, il has to be Hquidated
over the coffee.
Then comes the race for the train; there
are so many minutes allowed, calculated
to such a nicely that if the patient hears
the whistle of the approaching train be-
fore he gets to the grocer's shop, or the
elm tree in the lane, or some other noted
mark on his chart, he knows he must run
for it. And very often he has to run, for
sometimes it is wet morning, and he can
not lay his hand on his umbrella; or his
sions to give him, and can not remember
them if she is hurried So but will not
let him go till she does; or perhaps he
must go back ever so many yards to kiss
the baby, who will cry all day if it is done
out of this mark of respect So by the
time he has reached the station the fever
has done its fell work for the day, has up
set his nerves and his digestion, and set
him gasping and painting all the way up
n town To no CIlPa he catches his train
Of course he might have caught his train
quite easily if he had got up in good time
and thought nothing about 1t; but the
fever will not allow a man to do that
1t is astonishing how men will go on
day after day, year after year, repeating
this sad experience. They can no more
shake off the fever by taking time by the
fOrelock than they can fly. 1t would be
amusing, were it net grieVous to stand
outside suburban station and W tch the
race in for the morning train. Up come
the fever stricken, with anxious cOunte-
nances, some running outright; some,
whose dignity will not allow them to run.
walking double pace with set teeth and
firmly clenched umbrellas and bags; all
hurrying and all falling back half ex-
hausted when they reach their carriage.
The fever, as it affects of some ladies, is
really too awful to dwell upon. Many la
dies TO whom railroad travelling was a
youthful swonder, cannot even now trust
Bradshaw, but are impellet to go to the
station to make personal inquiries as to
the times of starting. The day before the
intended Journey is generally dedicated to
this preliminary satisfaction of l. fever.
But there is no peace either to the patients
or to their households for hours before the
the time fixed. The fever always impels
them to the station full half hour before
it is necessary, and sometimes act
yates them to hook their UNI
brellas into pOrters' necllclothes, or
to seize guards as emotionally as if they
were recognizing in them longlost sons
Upon other ladies, however, the train fever
has an opposite effect 1t fills them with
a duh despair. They know that they
have always missed the train they have
fixed upon, and always will If the train
they want to go by starts at and the
next at 1890, still pursued by the relent-
less demon, they will start for the g. and,
of course, miss it, and will sit in the wait
ing-room for the next hour and ahalf with
lack-luster eye and wan countenance. 1t
is their fate they know, aud it is useless
to struggle against fate