The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1885-12-09
CLIPPINGS.

II have such an indulgeut husband"
said little Mrs. Doll. ayes, SO George
says" responded Mrs. Spiteful quietly.
"Sometimes he INDUCES too much, doesn't
her" They no Ions er speak to each other.
There is hope for all. Oliver Wendell
Holmes says: II should like to see any
kind Of = man, distiuguishable from a
gorilla, that some good and pretty woman
could not shape husband out Of"
'It is a neat and attractive comment on
the condition Of our thoroughfares," says
the PittsburR Chronicle Telegraph, "when
drover advertises that he has lost two
bl.ck hogs on Fifth avenue
A gentleman bought newspaper and
rendered in payment piece Of forty sous.
The newspaper toomdn: ~ haven't the
change. You can pay me as you pass
along tomorrow. Gentleman: "But sup
pose should be killed to-day?" The ne,os-
paper ,coman : "Oh =! it wouldn't be very
great loss"
Sunday School Teacher-Now, children,
we must bear in mind that between our
last weeks lesson and this quite a period
Of time Is represented as having elapsed.
During that time very important event
has taken place. Yes, Annie, (noitcing
little girl at the end Of the class smiling
knowingly, you may tell us what 1t is.
Annie-We've all got our winter hats
.'Uncle James," said a Boston young
lady who was spending few days in the
country, sis that chicken by the gate a
Briminp" "No" replied Uncle James; she's
Leghorn." why, certainly, to be sure !"
said the young lady. "HOw stupid of me !"
can see the horns on his ankles"
Mr.. Thimblefull, after making an ex-
haustive search all over the front door of
his residence with the key of his Office
safe, sinks down in despair. "Well," he
says, " It's no kind of use. On'y way
en- see to remedy the matter Is for build
ers t make tn keyhole bigger'n tn door.
Hic!"
We never could make out why Burling-
ton girls were so interested in the reports
of yacht races until we happened to catch
one, the other day, with her finger on this
passage, "In making the turn the Matte
Rugged the buoy closest, and SO secured
the lead"
Allen Pinkerton, the Chicago detective,
had the motto "Post Nubila PhRbus" on
the panels of his carriage. 1t pleased the
erudite people of that great city, who
translated it, ''Post no bills; free bus"
They admired the sentiment although they
~~AAAAASsS" OssssS "AAo cPSAAAh6 Woo SeiOSiOuS
A country girl was telling stranger
what trouble she had with her Sunday
school class, when he sympathetically
said, "You must have an elephant on YOU
hands" CHANGING at her dainty hands,
she replied, with some acerbity, "Oh, no;
that spot may look like an elephant, but
it's only a MOLE"
An Oregon man recently invented ma
chine that being attached to sleeping
person, will accurately register the dreams
of the night. 1t was tried the other night
upon man who ate lobster salad and
drank hard cider and inside of half an
hour the machine was humming along so
nOisily that the natives thought cyclone
had struck the town.
A little city boy visited bis aust In the
country not long since. Ore day a the
dionsR table The lady complAined that .
jar Of hvortts preserves had nystssiossly
disappoased ftoo ~ paatsy. 1aeA o.
peeooot dteolelne6 aAy kAowledGe q ne
~ sSeeps ~ l,1ale ~ ~ rsualse1
eeo1l1qo6 sl1oQA ~ 1Gagoh ~ - eahe1
u ~ kqeV Uloa ~ eeeene r ~ -.
~ = ~ y 8 3 3 90 . ~ 80