The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1885-01-14

as luck would have, had never had a
baby. We didn't have any more idea OF
how to take care of baby than the man
in the moon. Oil it was dreadful -
And the Major wiped the perspiration
from his face at the mere recollection.
Had the poor darling been all that
day without anything to eat 2" indignant
ly inquired young bride who sat up
with the driver
ssTo drink you mean, 2 said the Major.
''That was just it. There wasn't even a
can of condensed milk in the outfit, so
we went into council of war as to the
proper thing to give it to eat One officer
said -four and water was the correct
thing. Captain Brown insisted on milk
Boggs thought that meat chopped up fine
would answer. Somebody else argued
that the proper ration for baby was
sugar tied up in a rag somehow. Ayoung
ensign believed they sucked the juice of
piece of rubber, so to speak, while Old
Whipple stuck it out that babies were
fed exclusively on paregoric. You never
heard such wrangle."
And the poor little creature suffering
all the time" murmured the mother,
wiping tear off her nose.
"The result was that we agreed to
make an impartial mixture of all these
things, on the theory that if one missed
fire the others would counteract it, as it
were. So we made sort of stew in the
cofee-pot, which included whole bot
tie of paregoric from the medicine chest.
for most of us rather leaned toward
Whipple's ideas after all. Then we hunt
ed up small tin funnel used for filling
the whisky keg."
"What was that for ?' gasped the lady
passengers, who by this time had worked
themselves into state of suppressed
fury.
"Why, to run the compound into the
baby with, so as not to spill it, contin
ued the Major, calmly; $50 when the
Committee on Pap concluded the MKT
ure was cool enough, we started to feed
the"
81 wonder it didn't kill you," inter-
ruped the bride, looking knowingly at
the Majors companion. "Of course l
can see how it all turned out. You was
the baby, and the Major brought you up
and married YOU"
Gust wait till fnish," went on the
Major. Gust as we started for the bunk
there was terrible crash of firing, fol-
lowed by yell that would have curdled
your blood. We were attacked by the
'Paches. They had surrounded us on
snow-shoes. Of course we had to jump
to our guns, and it was just nip and tuck
all night to keep them off. AT daylight
our repeating rifles were too much for
them, and they finally cleared out with
a heavy loss"
"And the baby ~ cried the whole stage
while even the driver puton the brake
and turned around to listen.
"Then we thought of the baby" said
the Major solemnly, 'fand we all went
! in to look at it. The bundle stin lay on
the bunk, and it was motionless. The
shawl was stained with blood, and we
saw that chance arrow had come
through loop hole and literally trans
fixed it."
ooh, you heartless things J" sobbed
the bride, while the mother on the back
seat Rugged her treasure convulsively,
and burst into tears.
eve had lost a private and two others
badly wounded" went on the old soldier.
softly, "but can tell you we all felt like
murderers as we stood with our hats off
in that little room, and tear stole down
over more than one powder-grimed cheek
as the old General leaned over and gent
ly opened the little bundle.'
"And was it quite dead?' asking
mining man who was pretending not to
cry.
''Quite dead-quite dead. Butyou see
it wasn't baby at all, but the kitten
that the little immigrant girl had forgot
ten," concluded the Major. "That's all.
| believe, and-ahem-I think, daugh-
ter, I'll get out and walk to the top OF
this hill"
And then the Major got out, followed
| 10y sumo indistinct remark referring to
his eyes, on the part of the driver, that
seemed to be fully concurred in by the
rest of the passengers. Philadelphia
Record