The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-09-25

introduced himself as the Assistant
Superintendent
Excuse me, said he, POLITELY, ''but
which OF you is the PATIENT"
oh, neither, replied Merkle, with
laugh. Il an the counsel for the board,
and this gentleman is merely visitor
WIZ is interested in the workings of the
Institution.
.Ah, see, said the Assistant Super
intendent. "Will you kindly walk this
way?"
We entered the Office, and he handed
me book and pen. please inscribe
! your name," said he, in the Visitors
Book" / did so. and then turned to
speak to Merkle, but the lawyer had
disappeared.
"Our system" said the Assistant
Superintendent, sis very simple. The
theory of the Institution is that the
habit of mendacity, which in many
cases becomes chronic, is q moral dis
ease, like habitual inebriety, and that it
can generally be cured. We take the
liar who voluntarily submits himself to
our treatment, and for six months we
submit him to the forcing process.
That is, we encourage him in lying.
surround him with liars, his equals and
superiors in skill, and cram him with
falsehood until he is fairly saturated.
BY this time the reaction has set in, and
the patient is usually starved for the
truth. He is prepared to welcome the
second course of treatment. For the
next half year the opposite method is
/ .9Y,rut,a1 fln s.ofSafad and Faa
| liar is surrounded by truthful attend
ants. encouraged to peruse veracious
literature. and by force Of lectures, ex-
ample and moral influence brought 10
understand how much more creditable
| it is to say the thing which is than the
! thing which is not Then we send him
back into the world; and / must say
that cases of relapse are infrequent."
g Do you find no incurables?" /
asked.
" Yes" said the Assistant Superin-
| tendent, "once in while. But an in
durable liar is better off here in the in
Urinary than outside, and it is better
for the outside community to have him
here"
Somebody came in, bringing a new
patient After sending for the Super
intendent, the Assistant invited me to
follow him. Il will show you how our
patients live, and how they amuse
themselves" he said. "We will 90
first, if you please, through the left
wing, where the saturating process may
| be observed. "
He led the way across hall into a
large room, comfortably furnished and
occupied by two dozen or more gentle
men, some reading, some writing, while
others sat or stood in groups engaged
in animated talk. Indeed, had it not
been for the iron bars at the windows,
| might have fancicd myself in the
lounging room of q respectable club.
My guide stopped to speak to an inmate
who was listlessly turning the leaves of
well-thumbed copy of Baron Mum
chausen, and left me standing near
enough to one of the groups to over
hear parts of the conversation.
'.My rod creaked and bent double"
q stout, red-faced gentleman was say
ing, 'and the birch spun like a teeto-
tum. l tell you if Pierre Chaveau
hadn't had the presence of mind to grip
the most convenient part of my trousers
with the boat hook, should have been
dragged into the lake in two seconds
or less. Well, sir, we fought sixty-nine
minutes by actual time taking, and
when | had him in, and had got him
back to the hotel, he tipped the scale,
the speckled beauty did, at thirty-seven
pounds and eleven-sixtcenths, whether
you believe it or not"
"Nonsense," said quiet little
gentleman who sat opposite. ''Ihat is
impossible
The first speaker looked flattered at
this, and colored with pleasure
Nevertheless" he retorted, sits a
fact on my honor as sportsman. Why
do you say it's impossible?'
Because" said the other, calmly,
cit is an ascertained scientific fact, as
every true fisherman in this room knows
perfectly well, that there are no trout
in Mooselemagunticook weighing under
half hundred. +"
Certainly not, )" put in third
speaker. 1.-The bottom of the lake is
a seive--a sort of schistose sieve forma-
ton and all fish smaller than the fifty
| Founders fall through.
''Why doesn't the water drop through,
toop' asked the stout patient, in tri-
umphant tone.
ait used to" replied the quiet
gentleman, gravely, until the Maine
Legislature passed an act prevent
ing ii"
My guide reioined me, and we went
on across the room. These sports
men liars" he said, ''are among the
mildest and most easily cured cases
that come here. We send them away
in from six 10 nine weeks time, with
| the habit broken up, and pledged not TO
| fish or hunt any more. The man who
lies about the fish he has caught, or
about the intelligence of his red setter
dog, is often in all other respects a
trustworthy citizen. Yet such cases
form nearly forty per cent. of all our
patients. +"
"What are the most obstinate
casesp"
Undoubtedly those which you will
see in the Travellers and Politicians
wards of the Intirmary. The more be-
nign cases, such as the fishermen liars,
the society liars, the lady-killer or
bonReS fortunes liars, the Rocky Mount
ain and frontier liars excepting Texas
casey, the railroad prospectus liars,
the psychical research lars and the
miscellaneous liars of various classes,
we permit during the first stage If
treatment to mingle freely with each
other. The effect is good. But we keep
the Travellers and the Politicians strictly
isolated.n
He was about to conduct me out at
the room by door opposite tn of
through which we had entered, when
q detached phrase, uttered by a
pompous gentleman, arrested my at
! tention:
"Scipio Africanus once remarked to
| me"
There couldn't be q better ex-
ample, said my guide, as we passed
out of the room, ''of what we call the
forcing system IN the treatment of men
dacity. That patient came to us yolun-