The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-17
THE MQTHER-IN-LAW.

THE MOTHBR-IN-LAW.
Notwithstanding the strenuous efforts which
have recently been made to manufacture char
riety of woman known as the mother-in law, it
will have to be admitted that she is, in reality
the most serious and deprecable of that RASH
rabid, and altogether reckless affection which
we term love- 1t is true that fate, with cruel
irony, occasionally summons to oliciate in this
difficult capacity few gentle, mild-mannered
to be even entitled to registry in the
same class with the genuine article,
the unmodiied and original mother
in-law. The real simon-pure specimen is too
familiar to the world at large to demand any
detailed description of her trademarks. In
fact, to Initiated beings even the most brief
is necessarily painful, and should be entered
upon only when new symptoms, dew, oped in
the original subject, compel immediate inves-
tigation and treatment. If the mother-i law
could ever rest content with the old distin-
gushing characteristics. old methods of en-
dulance or resistance might continue to prove
adequate, and the process Of keeping
her at bay 60 on silently; but as
she is restless, overactiye and
progressive sort of campaign, it behooves
every man with a proper conc option Of his
| duty to humanity to keep vigilant eye on all
fresh manifestations and rush promptly and
theoretically to the repression of all such as
presage increased contraction Of his liberty
and privileges. In furtherance of this princi-
| pie we quote two terribly significant instances
| ever exists in motners-in. law The first case,
| as CLEANED from a reliable foreign exchange, is
| that Of Scotch mother-in-law. Her son-in-
law was arrested for murder, and, whether
| justly or not. was convicted and
sentenced to death. At the announce
ment of the verdict, the mother-in-law
rose in open court, extended her hands to
heaven and exclaimed: "Thank God, my
prayers for the last five years are answered.
! My daughter will now be widow" The
second incident halls from North Carolina.
The mother-in-aw in this instance, having
died and been well buried, still continues to
hang around the premises where she formerly
lived, in spirit form, and make herself OBJ
noxious in every method which the most fend
ish mind could concoct Lamps are turned
out, pillows banged about, and even the son-in-
laws ears boxed Between live mothers-in
law who put in their spare time in devotional
| petitions for the son-in-laws removal
| by death, and dead mothers-in-law
who prowl about blowing out lights and hurl-
! ing pillows and pugilism at the very son-in-
law who paid their funeral expenses, surely
wing The first problem is susceptible of So
luton. The son-in-law can force or persuade
his mother-in-law to give heavy bonds that
she will not perpetrate any detrimental pray
ers behind his back, and then, by requiring
her to repeat her deyotions aloud to him be-
fore retiring he may in measure regulate
their spirit and eliminate any undesirable
clauses. Before the spirit mother-in law, how
ever, all logic and science must stand aghast.
If she chooses to revisit the glimpses of the
moon, and play hob to torment her scnin-
law. he will doubtless have to stand it. or his
own quietus make with bare bodkin, and
meet her on equal terms, spook himself II
these two fables have any moral, it must be
that if man viii be so adventurous as to ex-
pose himself to the accumulation of a mother
in-law he must be prepared for anything and
everything Whether she howl for his gore
by day. or give his ears and hair ghostly
tweaks by night, his strongest recourse
against her will avail him but little. 1t was
doubtless after an encounter with some such