The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-10-10
HUMOR.

A GREAT wag-a dogs tail.
An ideal person-the egotist.
Running expenses children.
A cLUB-HoUsE-the police station.
THE best education in the world is
that got by struggling to get living
w. Phillips.
In India husband can cut his wife's
ears off if he thinks proper. But he
cannot touch her tongue.
THE last toasts at feast are generally
like the last guests; drunk and in 81
1 lence.- Carl Pretzeps Weekly.
IT takes pretty smart phrenologist
10 tell what is in a barrel by examining
It's head. .-NeW York Journal.
aAN American? No, sir; I belong to
The State of Arkansas" was the an
swer made by a natiye.-DetrOu Free
Press.
YEs, son, we call that kind of hat
q stove-pipe, because it scots our
clothes and makes such a drait-on our
pockets. s.-LGe.
A MN vino blows his breath on
glass Of not whisky, in order to cool it,
can safely say he S blowing his own
horn. PERKS hau1.
lA PROGRESS says: Few ladies' con-
J tinue their piano-plaving long after
marriage." Does P'ogrcSs make this
announcement in order to encourage
young men to enter matrimony?
A BRooKLYN man was recently ar
rested for stealing two tombstones in
cemetery. He was admitted to bail,
and we may next hear that he has car
ried off couple of graves.-Norris-
t0ocn Herald.
Touching extract from sensational
novel: Casting herself between her
brother and her intended victim, the
fair Inez exclaimed in a voice that Vi
brated with agony: 'Rodolpho, do not
kill him. for if you did he would surely
ie.'"
i PoLIcEMAN-"Have you a permit to
play here?" Organ Grinder mo, but
Il amuses the little ones So" Police
man-"Then you will have the good
ness to accompany me-" "Very we'll,
Er, what do You wish to sing ?"-Flie-
ge1ade Blaetter.
THE WRONG PARTY.
He had tender, duke-like air,
IN And looked so gentle and appealing,
~ thought to do him up right there,
y And with his person wipe the ceiling
But when he banged me in the head.
And pounded me till was mellow,
Excuse me, sir" l softly said,
- 1 took you for an all, there, fellow.
-MercAdnt Irareler
THE CAR CONDUCTOR.
Tis the car conductor gay
And he stuffs the passengers in,
While he laughs in his sinful way,
And watches each one spin;
He sees thsm clutch ut the straps,
He sees them lurch to the door,
And while they get hard raps
iells: Room for just one more!-
Eardines in their tins lay close,
And plums are squeezed in jars,
But not so squeezed as those
Who ride in railway cars;
Who gasp, and try to stand.
AS more and more crowd in,
Showed by the conductors hand
-, Like sausages into skin.
philadelphia NenS
PRISONER, said Prosecutor Buxton,
you are charged with gambling"
Gambling? What is gambling?"
Playing cards for money" But I
did not play cards for money; I played
cards for chips" well, you got money
Tor your chips at the end of the game,
! didn't you?" mo; didn't have any
D chips at the end of the game" The
testimony being all in, Buxton moved,
and Judge Hutchins agreed. that the
case be nolled. -Cierelnnd Herald.
AFAsHIoNABLE lady and her daughter
have returned from foreign tour. A
friend of the family called and the fol-
lowing conversation took place: "Were
you In ltaly?" "Oh, yes, we spent some
time in Italy" and how did you like
Rome?" "Rome? Let me see," turn
ING to her daughter); Il say, Emily,
wasn't Rome the town where we had to
pay so much for them gloves that didn t
last no time ?'-FiegeHde B!aetter.
"You horrid thing" said Miss Jaggs
to Miss Minnie Jaggs when they had
sought their room; you actually ate
that biscuit after Uncle Hor9ce had
reached it to you on his own fork !"
Well, what of it 2" What OF it? I
should say what of it! 'Fne idea of
touching anything anybody elses fork
has been in" "It doesn't make any
difference i'll Uncle Eorace's case. y
Why not?" Because he never puts
hls fork in his mouth. ."-Hochlalad
u Courier.
1 should hate to be a lawyer" re-
marked the grocer, "and be obliged to
argue contrary to my belief" Then lie
proceeded to inform q customer that
the bottle of cotton-seed oil he held in
MS hand was the pure, unadulterated
Juice OF the olive. Il should hate to be
sgrocer,' said the lawyer, "and have
70 soil my hands with molasses, kero
sene, and all sorts of vile stuff" He was