The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-07-22
DIspeptic Plety.

organs would be something astoSndipe
could Il be truly known, II obmihs
largely in little ontoi.thQ.w6y yillSres
and on country farms, and Il Of such IA.
gubrious, miserable quality, as 10 make
everybody wretchCd around Il. Its yo.
7 larles arc lotthD most part thin, hatchet.
laced specimens Of humanity, given %
tho unwholes0me aspect OF much pinip.
" eruption and sour vexation Of spirit.
( This sort Of piety grows out Of Sogpy
corn bread aud an everlasting diet Of iat
salt pork. There Is wealth of Il In bak.
lng'pOwder impregnated hot biscuits:
heavy loads Of II in iHtiried doughnuls:
and It's swells up In the stomach in 4
1 never-euding stream from the sponuy
throcs OF dried-Npple dip. ItdcllphtsIn
everything that can nlOrtily the flesh.
and swallows patent medicine and all de.
scrlphons Of medlGated nostrnms with
eScecding relish. Looking on laughter
rs O vain Ab0lnihAliOn, every description
Ol pleasure is believed to be a snare 6i
! the evil one To grub and toll through
eaCh waking hour Of existence, from
.i.Iouday morn till Saturday nieht: eatl
| day divided into exact lnoiOtiesoi eating
sleeping and lavish toll, with neither
rest nor recreation; and a nightmare pull
Of crushing modification spread oyerth1
blessed Sabbath, fills up the gloomy,
tagging rounds Of It's inspirations. Long
dreary faces, as II pertaining to those en.
gagged In neyer.ceasing funeral, or the
saddening solemnities Of q hanging Cere.'
monyr gives tine normal aspect oi this
ldysleptic piety. II has no pleasure In
anything but misery, combined to d
Iianndiced eye, for all that Is pleasant
and bright. Even in the chceriest Of
sunshine II will shake its head with sol.
emn misgiving, and prognosicate rain
or disaster with hungry desire to have
its eliomy prophecies fulfilled. The
lighlsDnc happiness Of childhood cannot
exists IN It's presence, for it lays its hea.
Wy, rcPressiye hand on the bubblinr
joys OF youths spring time, TN ali II
playful spirit is crushed out while in
place Of sunny pictures that should shed
a halo OF clIeery brightness on their in.
nocent pathway, 1t ills their souls with
terrifying hOrfOws Of the fiery pit, In.
deed, dispeptic piety fairlv reveis in fire
ana birthstone, and ias an abiding faith
in the gospel tluency OF the preacher
who hOwls and thumps out his awful
tlrade on the future torments OF the un.
rcgenerated sinners. 1t sets itsiace with
tilnty hardness against all worldly things
that are pleasant and beautiful, as being
50 much vain lrivOlity Of a tendency %
lead astray the Lords chosen few
Hence II loves bare walls and hard wood.
en- benches in houses OF worship, and
eschews all music save the lugnbrious
sroaning melodeon, and such sCe.saw
drawing hymn tunes as sounds like tho
walls oil lost spirits in the extremity OF
despair.
AS might well be expected, the homes
Of dyspeptic piety are equally devoid of
ornament or cheerful surroundings
One wintry best room is set apart for
state occasions; room so painfully sol.
emn and unhOmelikc, with its straight.
backed chairs set around the walls alter
the fashion OF grim milestones, erect
and rigid, just 50 far apart, and tho un::
inviting wooden setlee, with It's hard
squad cushion; windows whose dark
blinds are ev9r drawn close to keep ont
the sunshine from that musty.swellinv
chamber; little table supporting biz
lNmily Bible which is never opened, IN
company with the suggestive ,ortnres Of
Fox's Book oil Martyrs, lying ON t6e'
sombre oil tableclOth; punches Of NOM.
mental everlasting flowers and withered
grasses OH the mantcl shelf, in i1rlorR
and dreuy keepingwith one or two cheap
daubs OF pictures Of the Danel.in.the.
Lion's.Den order, hanging on the bleak
expansO OF whitewaslied wallis that IL
strikes IN icy chill to the heart Of any
w0rm.tempercd person who chances to
step within It's gruve-like portal; and all
the rest OF the house is sCrimped and
iOrbldding to the last degree.
Nor is II to be wondered at, for youf
man Of dyspeptic piety is almost inyari.
ably a lniserly curmudgcon, who cent.
ers his small soul into ono unbroken
round Of scraping and saving. A man
Of hard bargains and little meannesses
devoid oil the generous impulses that
Graves money for the good il will bring.
having but one settled object in liie-tG
bore, grub, and pinch and hoard, To-
stint everyone under him OF all but tho
burest necessities Of existence tn shut
out thesunshine Of life from all his 10.
Ionsings. and be as gloomy and nlorose
and miserable as undigested soggy food
can make him. When a load Of long nc.
cumulated fat salt pork is crawling
through his stomach with leaden stride
he drives his hardest bargains; nnder
the dead.weight pressure Of haii.baked
Johnny cake and driel.apple dip, he
scores the back Of his children with re.
lentless fervency that knows no pity: and
when suffering the awful nightmare
wretthedness OF hot baking-powder bis.
cult and fat.fried doughnuis, his hopps
OF the worlds regeneration are small.
indeed. His only s0Iace is tobacco: nntI
that he bites into little shreds and lat.
tiers, as il he hated TO enjoy even that
much comfort in a wholc.sOuIcd way.
And under the gloomy lhrOes Of this
lndigesible picty his wife draps through
her miserable existence, n poor worn.
down soul, thin and pinched OF body,
and starved in mind and feeling Otd
and hopeless when she should be vet IN
her prime, with q tieht.drawn, pIarcli.
ment.sklnned, unwholesome, vinegary
aspects OF lace that repels all pleasant
cheeTinlhesS, her only solace in life Is 10
baCkbite and decry her neighbors. Itis.
her chieiuSt comfort to pTy and ferret in.
to the shortcomings of every one SUP.
rounding her, and she sits out slander
with the nnctuous tondnoss oi a vultute
battening on it carrion prey, Especial.
", your woman Of dyspeptic piety, whert
agood long course Of hali.cooked. pork
and sodden bread has worked up her ne.
Culiar virtue to the point Of unuppeas.
able gloom and vindlcIive thirst Tor mis-
cry, fairly gloats and revels over tile
downfall OF an erripg sister. Then SHE
sucks III her yellow visagc into a wrink.
led llOwn Of biting scorn, and feels Ia
mourn il is not the good old time when
such Culprits were hung or burnt nj the'
stake; firmly believing that il would be
dong God service to lash The wicked
wretch in the public market place, point
The linger OF virtuous contempt at her,
and shut every door against her till she
cou ID have no earthly place wherein 10
lay her sinful head.
|
a young mother. should not be too
ambitious to correct her children, She