The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1885-01-08
HumOrs of the Battle. field
Hf-1zn ahn rAAkn--

Many humorous incidents occurred
on battle.tields. a confederate colonel
ran ahead of his regiment at Malvern
Hill, and discovering that the men were
not following him as closely as he
wished, he uttered fierce oath, and ex-
claimed;
"Come on! Do you want to live for
ever ?"
The appeal was irresistible, and many
q poor fellow who had laughed at the
cOlonel's queer exhortstion, laid down
his life soon after.
A shell struck the wheel of Federal
feld-piece toward the close of the en-
gagement at Fair Oaks, and, shIverlng
the spokes, dismantled the cannon.
well, isn't It lucky that didn't hap
pen before we used up all our ammuni-
tion," remarked one of the artillerlsts as
he crawled from beneath the gun.
When General Pope was falling back
before Lees advance in the Virginia
Valley, his own soldiers thought his
bulletins and orders somewhat strained
in their rhetoric. At one OF the numer-
Gus running engagements that marked
that disastrous campaign, a private in
one of the western regiments was NOR
tally wounded by shell. Seeing the
mans condition, q chaplain knelt beside
him, and opening his Bible at random
read out Samson's slaughter of the Phil
istines with the jaw-bone of an ass. He
/ runs, the poor fellow interrupted the
reading by saying:
Hold on chaplain. Don't deceive q
/ dying man. Isn't the name of John
Pope signed to that:"
A column OF troops was pushing Tor.
ward over the long and winding road in
| Thoroughtare Gap to head of Lee after
his retreat across the Potomac at the
close of the Gettysburg campaign. Sud-
| oenly the signal officer who accompan-
led the general ia command discovered
1 that some OF his men posted on 8 high
| hill in the rear, were reporting coEsid-
cradle body of confederate troops on top
l of the bluffs TO the right. A halt was
sounded the leading brigade ordered
| forward to uncover the enemY's position
| The regiments were sOoa scrambling up
| the steep incline, officefs-and men gal
| 1antIy racing 90 see VINO could reach the
crest first. AYoung Lieutenant and some
| half dozen men gained the advance
/ but at the end of what they deemed q
| perilous chino, they were thrown
/ into commissions of laughter al
| discovering that what The signal men
| took for confederate troops were only 9
tolerably large flock of sheep. AS the
| leaders In this forloFn hope rolled on the
grass in paroxyism OF merriment, they
laughed all the louder at seeing the pale
but determined faces of their comrades
| who, of course, came up fully expecting
a desperate hand-to-hand struggle.
| II is perhaps needless 70 say the brig
ade supped on mutton that evening.
As the army was crossing South Noun
tain tfIe-day before the battle of Antie
tam. Gen. Mcclellan rode along the sldt
Of the moving column. Overtaking 1
fayorite Zouave regiment, he exclaimed
with his natural bon1t0Baie:
.Well, and how IS the Old Fifth ibii
EVENING""
FIrst-rate, General" replied one of tn,
/ ZOu&ves.
"But we'd be better off If we weren'
living 50 muck on supposItion."
'sSuppositIoa 90 said the General, in
puzzled tone. What do you mean b.
that 20
sIps easily explained. sar. You see VI
expected to get our ratioBs yesterday
but as we didn't, we're living on To,
superstition that We did,
"Ah. understand. you shall hsVl
your ratioDs, Zou Zous, tonight, y repliet
the General, butsing spurs to his hofs
t0 escape the cheers Of his regiment
Aud he kept bis promise.