davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
A REPUBLICAN, KICKER.
The Chicago Pension Agent-A Greedy
and Selfish Female.

and Selfish Female.
Miss Ada Sweet, the Pension Agent at
Chicago, has temper which bellies her
name. Having received a message
from General Black, in which she was
politely requested to send in her resig-
nation at the close of the fiscal year,
this pert, clipper and sassy damsel
proceeds to insult the Commissioner
and to send whining letter to the
President, eulogizing her services, and
in effect begging that she may hold ON
longer. General Black request was a
reasonable and proper one, and it was
not necessary that he should state his
reasons for asking for Miss Sweets res
ignatiOn. While it is conceded that her
management of the office itself, so far
as its routine business is concerned, is
good, the office has been used by the
leading Republican politicians of Illi-
nOis as political machine. 1t is
said that Miss Sweet, in return for
the powerful influences which have
kept her in the place, has yielded to them
the control of the patronage of her
place. Whether this is, or is not, true,
there is good reason for making a
change in the office. Miss Sweet has
held it for more than eleven years, dur
inc which time she has drawn in salary
and perquisites over 100000. If now,
it is a settled custom to give this office
to the widow Or daughter of Union
veteran, it is high time that Miss Sweet
should step down and give another a
chance. General Black desires that the
widow of the gallant Colonel Mulligan
shall be appointed, and we hope his
wishes will prevail. 1t was this woman's
husband whose famous reply to a Con-
federate demand that he surrender the
post of Lexington, Mo, is still well re-
membered. The country has long
known how hard it is for Republican
of the male sex to give up an office, but
it had not expected that the females OF
the organization would be even more
greedy and selfish.-Bostom Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
Wall OF THE REMOVED.

For twenty years and more I've been post.
master in Maine;
I've led free and easy life and got both
large and stout,
I've lived on pie and cake and beans-and
now, in language plain,
say think it's mighty mean that Cleye-
lands put me out.
Indeed had sinecure: the Office ne er oped
Until little distance off heard the coming
train,
And from the Office to my home 1 always
When the mail had been delivered to the
maidens sweet and plain.
And listen to the gossip of the matrons at
the door;
Ny offspring took the mail bag to the station
And another. Isabella, read the 'postals'
Ger and DER.
And now think I'll have to go living for to
earn
I'll have to work from sunrise till the twi-
light softly falls.
And my dinner shall carry in little polished
And I'll labor in a check shirt and pair of
Ovcralls.
Ishall soon be fair and slender, for my fat
will melt away,
And look like no great statesman with a
rosy tinted nose;
In fact, II grow so slender that soon shall
When Ill be small enough to wear my little
Andys cl)thes.
upon the fly.
No more I'll have to stand around and lick
the postage stamps;
In my old armchair, doing like a tom-cat,
shortlyI
Shall see one of those undetermined Demo
cratic trampS. Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
READING FOR THE YOUNG.
DISASTER

A hole in the pockets a very bad thing,
And brings q boy trouble faster
Than anything under the sun, think.
Ny mother calls 1t disaster.
For all in one day,
lost, may say,
Through a hole net as big as dollar,
A number Of things,
Including some rings
From q chain Fido wore as q collar.
My knife, steel pen, a nice little note
That my dear Cousin Annie had sent me.
The boy who found that pinned it on to his
hat
And tries all the time to torment me.
Id lost a new dime
That very same time,
But it lodged in the heel of my stocking;
And one thing beside.
Which to you confide,
Though fear you may think it quite shock
ing.
The doctor had made some nice little pills,
For me to take home to our baby;
But when reached there was quite in de-
spair:
They had slipped through my pocket. it may
be:
And Aunt Sallie. she,
As cool as could be,
Said hole in boys reputation
Is harder to cure,
And worse to endure,
Than all pockets unSOund in the Nation.
Still a hole in the pockets very bad thing,
And am sure a real cause Of disaster.
But baby is well: so you never must tell,
Perhaps he got we'll all the faster.
IN. 7. Independent
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
NON-FORFEiTABLE BONDS,
A Bit of Advice to a Defeated Presidential
Candidate.

Bit of Advice to q Defeated Presidential
Candidate.
'Mr. Cleveland's administration is
under bonds, like his party" says Mr..
Blaine, in the New York Tribune. Yes,
bonds of union with the peoples in
terests, which it has cheerfully assumed
and which it has not the slightest in
tention of breaking; bonds of friend
ship with every measure that tends to
promote the public veal, and bonds of
confidence with the Nation which gives
it such unstinted support and encour-
agement. The American people knew
too well the fiimsy nature of the bonds
MIR. Blaine was willing to furnish in
order to get into the White House, and
they preferred the moro substantial
guarantees offered by Mr.. Cleveland.
The correctness of their judgment has
been proved already, although the add
mnistration they chose is scarcely more
than a week old. Economy has taken
the place of wilful waste of the peoples
money, and although Mr.. Blaine
affects to sheer at the good work
in this direction which has been
inaugurated at the White House, it
litts .CCtiftu ScHtIdl
and hearty Endorsement Economy,
in Mr.. Blaine's eyes, is nothing but ''po-
ltical clap-trap. or device to escape
the provisions of the Civil Service act"
While he may be excused for his ig-
norance of something SO foreign to his
notions of the administration of public
the intelligence of the people by sneering
Nd civ - col. ,,fo
One would conclude from his ill-natured
filings in the Tribune of every appoint
ment made by the President or his Cab
met that Mr.. Blaine has made up his
mind not to be pleased with the new
solely on his own account, as he must
long time, in fact, for the period of his
natural life. The people will not be
inclined to change from Democratic
Administration, having found it so adj
mirably suited to them. He can get
along without crowd of hang
ers-on in sinecure positions, and
how every one in the public service
should be expected to earn his salary by
honest work. His way would have been
50 different had he the handling of the
peoples money. No reduction of cleri-
cal force for him; no regard for the
National treasury as sacred trust.
Hence his incessant fire of objections in
the columns of the Tribune. As his
friend Burchard has just been retired
with the soothing title of pastor eme-
ritus, can not Mr.. Blaine be induced to
remain in the obScurity assigned him
by the Nation under the appropriate
designation of scold emeritus? We
have gently reminded him several times
that this is Mr.. Cleveland's administra-
ton, not his. But he will insist upon
tiinging himself every day into the col
umns of the Tribune. 1t is sad sight,
as there is no padded cell in
politics to prevent defeated candidate
from doing himself grievous injury
albany Argus.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
COMMERCIAL CONVENTION.

An Important National Convention to Be
Held at Atlanta, Ga, May 10, go and FL.
ATLANTA, GA, April 24.-The citizens
of Atlanta having determined to invite
delegates to a National Commercial Con-
vention, to assemble in this city on the
10Th of May next, III. 1. Kimball, Chair.
man of the Executive Committee having
the matter in charge, has issued a circu-
lar explaining the objects of the Con-
yention and giving the following pro-
gramme:
l. The convention will be composed OF
delegates to be chosen, follows: Every
local body organized for general CONNER
C al, and not for special private purposes,
shall be entitled in this convention to the
following representations: Zach ASSOCIATION
having fifty members or less. shall be en-
more than fifty mernheIs, shall have one
other delegate for eacn additional fifty
association. ANY ty or town Of
two thousand inhab as at having an or
ganized body as above shall be entitled to
one delegate and towns of over two thou
sand Inhabitants shall nave one other dele
gate for every additional five thousand In
hsbitants. Delegates to be appointed by
the Mayor or Chief Magistrate. The Cover
nors of each state shall be eligible as dele
gates and each State shall be entitled to
two additional delegates at large to be APP
pointed by the Governor.
2. There are to be eight National dele
gates, to be selected by the Executive COM
mittee.
3. All delegates shall present credentials
under seal from their respective constituent
c:es; said credentials shall certify the num-
Der of delegates to which the constituency is
entitled.
l. The subjects to be considered shall be:
a Commercial and Reciprocity treaties be-
tween the United States and foreign ccun-
tries. (2) A National Bankrupt law. (3) The
compulsory coinage of silver. az Railway
transportation. (5) Such other questions
touching National, financial and commercial
interests, as the convention may deem prop
er for discussion and action
Very favorable rates of passenger
transportation to this convention are
given by the different railroads, and it
is the purpose of the committee to ar
range as far as possible to give the
delegates on the two days of the week
after the adjournment of the convention
excursions to places of interest and i'm.
nOrtance.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
CIvIL-SERviCE REFORM.
A Few Forcible Remarks upon Much
MOoted Subject.


That there is crying need for Civil
Service reform none but the blindest
spoilsmen will deny. Not mere party
loyalty, but faithfulness and capab;lty
are in demand in every branch of the
Government. The purpose of the
civil service is to serve not party, but
the people without regard to party.
But while this is true, indeed because
it is true, it should be known that
Civil-Service reform does not mean the
retention in office of officials who SIM
ply happen to be in office at the time
of change of Administration. For
the retention of horde of partisan
Republicans, who were given public
offices without regard to their special
fitness for the discharge of the dutiea
with which they were intrusted, would
be gross violation of the first princi-
pie of Civil-Service reform efficiency.
In the South, in particular, has eff
cheney been VIGOROUSLY disregarded,
and the Federal offices throughout this
region are filled to-day by an army of
appointees who, with rare exceptions -
exceptions so rare that they can hardly
affect the Just Judgment that must be
passed upon the whole body-are unfit
to bear the responsibilities of public Of
fee. To think of keeping these men in
place for no other reason than because
they happen to be in place would be to
rive real civil-Seryice reform a stunning
blow from which it would be unable in
MANY years to recover. Such a policy
would not only be fatal to the success
and the usefulness of the Administra-
ton, but it would effectually discourage
thousands of honest and earnest sup
porters of reform. If years of steady
and persistent efforts to rid the South
of the heavy and Ubiquitous burden
of an office-holding class composed
of inefficient partisans were to
be requited by the perpetuation
of the power of an element so offensive
to the general public as the present Fed
eral office holders in every Southern
State. the effect of such unjust and I'M
reasonable action would be to paralyze
the patriotic energies of hundreds of
thousands of our citizens, and to dash
to the ground the long-sustained hopes
of purer and more serviceable govern
ment. To outrage in this manner the
popular will and to commit the act I'M
der the cloak of civil-service reform
would be to make the very name OF re-
form "a by-word and a Kissing" But
we feel sure from what we have seen
and heard of the character OF the fres-
ident that his strong common sense
will forcibly show itself in all his pup
lie acts, and in none more than in those
involving questions of Civil-Service Re-
form. { Va. J State.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
SILENT PIANOS.
Mute instruments that Reduce the Strain
Upon the Player's Sense of Hearing.

l Mute instruments that Reduce the Strain
Upon the Players Sense of Hearing.
Joseffy, the pianist, practices hours
daily upon dumb piano; Won Bulow
carries one with him in his travels to
keep up his practice; and List is said
to use one assiduously. The object of
| substituting silent instrument, which
is said to be growing in favor with mu
sicians, is to subordinate the sense of
hearing in practice, and to protect the
| player from the nervous fatigue pro-
duced by the use of that sense, at the
same time that the senses of sight and
touch are employed. A skilled musi-
clan said recently that the exhaustion
from practicing upon a piano was
greater than most persons imagined.
He doubted whether a street-paver was
as much exhausted by days labor as
man who is obliged to practice all
the afternoon. He favored the use of
piano that made no noise. He had
heard a physician say that the nervous
headaches of young women in musical
conservatories We're largely due to the
din of practice, and it was often thought
that this noise impaired the musical
former depend upon his eye and his
touch, and enforces more attention to
the score, so that he will be able to get
a notion of the music upon sight read
ing.
There are some mute pianos in New
York and several in Boston. The first
one sent to this country came from
Weimar, and after the model of this
one others were constructed. The
mute piano has a full keyboard and has
the appearance of an ordinary piano,
but there is neither sounding-board nor
strings within the instrument. The
keys are weighted with lead and pro-
vided with springs which cause them
to quickly 60 back to their places when
touched. The tension may be regu-
lated so as to correspond with the
piano to be used tor playing the music
with sounds. Then the touch need not
be varied and the sounding piano need
not be used except to correct errors in
the shading of notes. 1t is further
claimed that it is economy to use
mute piano, as an expert will play
havoc with a good piano in two or
three years hard practice.
The muscular and nervous strength
required in modern exhibition playing
is surpris :ngly great. Faellen, of Bal
timore, has so worked upon the mus
Giles OF his fingers as to be able to sur
prise his acquaintance with feats of
digital strength and nerve. Ca1reno.
with a very small hand, can crush the
fingers of strong man without moving
her arm. This power comes from long
practice. which, to the deyotee, is linn
tied only by endurance, and it is ex-
pected that the mute piano will in
crease practice, and accordingly de-
velop more brilliant and difficult piano.
playing. The instruments are mex
pensive, but are made only when or
dered. A piano manufacturer says
that they should not cost over $25 or
$50, as one can easily be made out of
cast-off instrument Y. Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
MILK AS FOOD.
The Change That Has Marked the Opfn-
ions of Medical Men With Respect to the
Use of Milk.

The Change That Has Marked the Opin-
ions of Medical Men With Respect to the
Use of Milk.
The world progresses. Fifty years
ago medical men decided that in most
cases of disease that milk was the worst
thing patient could drink-that it was
feverish, bilious, and dangerous. In
all classes of fever or internal diseases
it was positively prohibited. Science
and practical sense have, however,
demonstrated that this natural product
of the females of the mammalia is
wonderfully constituted. the elements
of its composit on being in the precis,
proportion for the easiest assimilation
by infants, and as being capable of sus-
tanning life perfectly in mature age.
And it is the most harmless food, if the
animal from which it is derived is in
good health and is furnished with pure
food and water. of the whole category
of nourishments. Cows milk is COM
posed of lightweight parts of water,
the remainder of 100 is composed in
proper quantities of fat Or butter, of
caseine or cheese, and sugar or glucose,
and some other minute parts to give it
flavor. In its constituents it is wisely
calculated to supply every tissue of the
animal body, keeping the whole
system in vigor and health. And
in it there is little or no waste, or
far less than in any other article of
food. 1t aggravates no disease, but aids
every effor5 of nature to restore sound
ness to the in ured parts, or health to
the disordered system. And yet there
is great prejudice against milk as an
article of diet. Unless taken with
something which wars on its delicate
and well ordered mixture of perfect nu-
tritive elements, it is the lightest and
safest food the delicate dyspeptic can
take 1t cools fevers. 1t give strength
to feeble limbs. 1t is claimed to be the
best remedy for Bright's disease, dia-
betes and other arrangements of the
kidneys, etc. 1t is a class of food too
much neglected for the health, strength
and long life of the human family. 1t
is important, however, that it should
be pure. And to have it so there
should be great care taken to preserve
the health of the COW and to know ex-
actly when she is well. And her food
and water should be as pure and clean
as food prepared for human food, for
whatever the COW eats and drinks goes
partially at least, into her milk. And
as there is to be a great advance in the
consumption of cows milk for the food
of the old and the young there must be
higher notions inculcated as to what
the COW eats and drinks. There is
longer life and better health in store
for those who abandon so much meat,
preserves. CONNECTIONS, etc, and adopt
milk diet principally. And for those
who say they do not like it, it is only
necessary to say that taste and appe-
tite arc merely matters of education
~ y Tribune
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
PITH AND POINT.

DE only mistake whut nature
makes is in creatin' er mean pusson.-
Arhansaw Traveller.
Professor: Mention an oxide. -
Student: Leather Professor: COX
| de of what?" Student: s'Oxide of
beef. Exit Professor Medical and
Surgical Reporter.
The expression ssThank my starsr'
is rarely heard from the mouth of
theatrical manager. We do not pre-
| tend to know why; we simply state the
fact.-Boston Transcript.
els the age of chivalry past?':
asked contemporary. Oh, no. Only
last week a young man in town mar
ried red-headed girl with wart on
her chin. Herald.
-Brown-I never see Mrs. Snooks
now. l used to be sweet on her, but
she was quite uneducated-had not
even learned the rudiments of gram
mar. Smith-Hadn't she though? I
hear she knew enough to decline an
ass, though.-Judge.
-Agltated man to acquaintance.
''By gracious, did you see me rush up
fellow?" Yes s.Well, did it I'M
der Misrepresentation. | wouldn't have
shaken hands with him for anything"
''Why, don't you know h imp" Yes, !
know him, but owe him ten dollars"
-Arkausaao IraUeter.
Said the good-natured Rev. DR..
Robinson, as he stood looking over the
new books one day, II see you have
Have you Hams Travels in the De-
luge?" "No," responded the book
seller, ''but we can accommodate you
with 'Japhet in Search of Father. .
Christian Iaateltigencer.
The Wise Juryman.-A Juryman
who had Assisted in Reaching Wise
Conclusion in Several Cases of Import
ance was Complimented by the Law
"Reallv, Deserve no Praise for what
during your Arguments. Moral: The
less Lawyer the wiser the Verdict
Detroit Free Press.
Insurance agent: 'It's all right.
The doctor says you are the best risk
best risk?'' Eyes; soundest constitu-
ton and perfect health, you know
did he say that?' Eyes. indeed. No
y
was nothing to prevent you from liv
ing a hundred years. '.You don't
mean it?' Honest truth. Come right
around to my office and I'll fix up the
papers at once" s'No, thank you; it
won't pay. I'm too healthy. "-Philo-
dellohaa Call.
An Irish song:
Oh, dainty Kitty, if you knew
My loves profound degree,
know you'd pity love 50 true,
And give your heart to me.
For when l meet you on the street
And lightly lift my hat,
Within my breast, alas, my own
Poor heart goes pity Pat.
So, Kitty, put your hand in mine,
And let it nestle there,
And you shall be my Irish queen
Without an Irish care.
And then my heart, that.al for you
Often goes rat a-tat,
Shall gladly cease within my breast
Its pity, pity Pat.
Washington Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
UNFORTUNATE SPOILSMEN.
Not Posted Making False Statemen,
Knowingly.

Not Posted or Making False Statement,
knowingly.
The Republican organs are endeavor-
ing to give the impression that the rush
on Washington by the Democratic Of
fice-seekers is quite unprecedented. They
are simply not posted or are making
false statements knowingly. Lincoln
and his Cabinet, it is said, were so
bored and badgered that they hardly
had time to eat and sleep, and Mr..
Lincoln. oppressed with the feeling that
the country was on the verge of disso-
luton, tearfully exclaimed: 81 seem to
be sitting in one end of a great temple,
importuned to let apartments, while
the temple is fiercely burning at the
other end" 1t took the battle of Bull
Run, with its train of disasters, to drive
these hungry hordes of Northern Re-
their homes. When they thought the
rebels were advancing upon the city
from the South this gang of office-beg-
garS made a mastery advance due
North, where there were none to modest
nor make them afraid. 1t was Repub-
Hcan oifice-seekers that cost poor Gar
seeker who committed the bloody deed
Grant was nearly worried to death by
the same old crowd that nearly drove
Mr.. Lincoln into the Potomac or luna
tic asylum, and poor Hayes stood aghast
when the crowd came who by lying.
fraud, perjury and various kinds of ras-
cality had finally forced him into the
Presidency. Colonel Mcclure, of the
Philadelphia Times, is good authority on
this point, and he says: "Any who can
recall the Republican revolution of 1861
must justly appreciate the exaggerated
pictures drawn by discOmfitted organs.
The rush for office now exhibited in
Washington does not approach the Re-
publican rush for place in 1861. Even
when civil war was raging, the city, the
Departments, and every available nook
and corner of Washington, were filled
with the most importunate spuilsmen.
The clamor at that time made by the
Repu blicans was unutterably disgrace
full. If an officeholder was Democrat
he had to get out Colonel Mcclure
concludes as follows: "Of the many
more than 100000 Federal placemen all
are of one political faith, and most of
them holding place as a reward for
active partisan efforts. There are few
exceptions, but the Democrats in Fed
eral place in any community are like
angels visits, few and far between.
Now they have triumphed over the
party that has relentlessly prescribed
them. and AS Democratic and Republic
an human nature are about the same in
quality, the Democrats will clamor for
the spoils. but they must far surpass
any demonstration of placemen yet
made to equal the eruption of the inn
Fortunate placemen of 1851. "-Iaadiana
State Sentinel.