The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-09
My Watch.

When was unmarried, and done a
l pleased l never carried watch.
never could understand the value of Z
watch, except as an article that might
be hypothecated in pecuniary emer
gency. / could always ascertain the
time, because every church and sample
room boasted clock, and what was
the use of purchasing what could be had
for nothingl
By my system of consulting these
public time-pieces, always managed
to make my connections right. never
entered a theatre after the curtain had
risen, or reached the station at the
moment when the train was vanishing.
was made happy in more ways than
one by not having watch. l didn't
have to tell fifty people the hour every
day; and l never worried about the
safety of the contents of my vest pock-
cts in a crowded horse-car.
One night 1 was awakened rather
suddenly. l felt strange hand under
my pillow. 1t was burglars, feeling
for my watch.
81 have no watch" l remarked as
politely as 1 could: "but you'll find
dollar brass clock in the kitchen, if you
want to know the time"
In his great hurry he passed through
the window, and l shuddered as 1
heard him trickling down through the
arbor below.
But after marriage it was different.
was told that | should wear a watch,
in order not to appear poverty-stricken
in the eye of the world. l argued that
it would place me on a par with
weasel-headed clerks whose bangs and
eyebrows meet. was told that if /
wore no watch every one would think
had one drawing interest for an aven-
cular relative.
This seemed very subtle argument
in favor of having watch. And, be-
sides, it completely upset me. l i'm
agined that on the same basis people
would fancy had all sorts of things in
pawn that l didn't wear, such as seal
skin overcoat, diamond rings, etc.
AS tentative measure, got what
call to this day "patent-machine
watch" because bought it in drug
store. 1t was an advertising scheme to
attract people to the patent-medicine.
should much prefer to swallow the
contents of drugstore than to carry
one of those watches for week. 1t
had to be wound up every night, and
took nearly all night to wind it. 1t
don't keep very good time, but l con-
tinued to wear it, that l might wind it
for exercise. 1t superseded my dumb
bells until the stem wore the skin off
my thumb and fore-6nger. When
buried in profound meditation, it was
my custom to take the watch out and
wind it in an distracted manner, just as
others in a similar mood pick their
teeth or whittle. I stated at home
that l merely purchased the patent
medicine watch to learn how to take
care of and manipulate one before get
ting a more expensive specimen.
This bit of news gave great satisfac-
tured, seTf-sacrlhiclhhg being, wnowouru
soon wear long watch chain stretching
all the way across the chest, and empty
ing into two pockets. AS reward 1
was presented with watch. The
first day 1 wore it 1 was told l was
wrong by man who had just set his
watch at some jewelers.. So changed
mine to make it agree with his. 1t
seems it lost time, and l missed my
train that night, thing | had never
done when l did not possess time
piece.
Every few minutes was asked the
hour, to get me accustomed to pulling
it out, and inside of week had ac-
quired an artistic negligence and in
difference of manner that was pro-
nounced beautiful.
But the watch became eccentric.
The eggs that were timed two minutes
by it came out as hard as cobble-stones,
and trying to regulate it by tapping it
against my boot-heel, l thoroughly dis
organized it, and was obliged to leave
it for week with jeweler, who lent
me instead, great silver machine that
| l was ashamed to take out of my pock-
ct in daylight.
In short, when l got it back l did
nothing but miss trains. 1t was never
right. 1t was either too fast or too
slow. Sometimes l would start for the
cars thinking l had ample time, and
reach the station after their departure
or else l would start on run and half
kill myself to get there in time, only to
ascertain that l had arrived half-an-hour
too soon.
1t would take too much ink to tell
how many sorrows and tribulations that
watch brought upon me. l protested
against wearing it many time, but my
protests were in vain. Finally con-
cluded that l would allow myself to be
martyred, SO 1 still carry it, but not for
use. 1 wind it up about once month,
and never look at it. l go by the
clocks see around me, as did before,
and catch my trains and make all other
time connections right. l don't like
to say anything harsh of it, because it
is a nice watch, and it would be simply
perfect if it could only keep the right
| time