The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-07-23
THE MERRY SIDE :!

The Chicago brick-yards have "shut down.
That means, we suppose, that they are stuck in
the mud.
They talk of the Cars troops as though they
were so many dogs. A dispatch says they are
| advancing on He-rat.
| The rioters in Cleveland should hold an in
dignation meeting, to protest against the law
| less officers carrying clubs.
The U. S. Government has given Lieutenant
Commander Webb, of the Navy, a suspension
of two years, to get sober in.
=x+
John Mcdonnell, of Cincinnati, was "gored"
by a steer. If he had been ''cut bias" he
wouldn't have cared so much.
1t is trying thing to see green rider upon
trorting horse. 1t looks as though the rider
was trying to beat his brains out.
Dispatch: ''The police of Springfield are MAX
ing a raid the houses of ilI-fame in that
city," How long do the police stay?
s.:
The Cincinnati Enquirer is opposed to the
work of the Pail Mall Gazette, in detailing the
horrible crimes of London sports.
No wonder they made bungling job of the
hanging OF Palmer. They were only half do
ing the work. Berner was not there.
A demagogue at Cleveland mounted dry
goods box and began TO defy the authorities
but he finished his speech in the calaboose.
s..
Pat Flarity, of Mt. Sterling, KY, stopped
from drinking, by his horse. But the horse
had to run off with him and kill him to do it.
"Yes, it's hard times, and one has to be econ
omical,'' said the butcher, as he solemnly
weighed out the bones at fifteen cents a pound
The Cincinnati Post says "the Scioto Gazette,
the Republican organ of Scioto County, is Of
fered for sale" Published at Chillicothe, Sci
OTTO County, you know.
A Presbyterian Church in Syracuse, New
Yo'k, called an editor to the pulpit That's
right! When you want preachers, go among
the saints.
jeff. Davis has written another effusion pro-
testing against the teaching of children that
secession and rebellion are wrong. 1t sounds
like voice from the gallows.
1t is rare fun to see the Democratic editors
slobboring over "Brother Leonardo About
how many of them will vote for that gentle
man, whom they profess to love?
a stranger dropped dead in front of q dog
gerry in Middleport, Meigs County. That's the
kind of whisky that is most effective-the kind
that will kill man, off-hand, clear out in front
of the door.
There is report that silver mine has been
discovered in Lawrence County. That lets 'em
out! They can take the silver mine and sink it
in the natural gas well.
Mrs. Sam Harvey, aged seventy, of Liberty,
Indiana, committed suicide by hanging. She
was tired of living in a state of suspense, wait
ing for death, and suspended.
1t has reached thai point now when the Ohio
statesmen run over to New York and get inter-
viewed with regard to politics in this State.
The interviews are remarkable for what they
might contain, but don't.
SIS
Buffalo Bill secured DR.. Carver's arrest in Con-
necticut. But Carver has gotten out, and is
now on Bill's trail, with divers attachments.
There seems to be trouble brewing in 1.-THE
Wild West.''
President Cleveland went fishing on Sunday,
and caught nine-pound bass. Then to think
of the poor fellows who have been batting and
fishing at Washington, and have caught moth
ing!
young married woman boasted that there
s'were twelve bridesmaids and groomsmen at
her wedding" But it only took one Deputy
Sheriff to sell her husband out of house and
home.
''Their cry against st. John is the cry that is
raised against every man that dares to 10 what
he thinks is right."-AthenS Journal.
So, so You think st. John is right, then, do
you? Then suppose you give an earnest sup
mort q DR. Leonard and the Prohibition tick
ct.
A story comes from Springfield of an old col
ored man who captured a large number of
black snakes by going to their den in the
rocks and playing the fife, moving away, and
the snakes following. If the fife made as wild
music as The story does we don't blame the
snakes.
A Baptist preacher, named G. ]. Spaulding,
at Ballston, New York has discovered what is
the matter with Gen. Grant. "He is playing
sick to avoid prosecution for his banking trou-
bles.' And have discovered what is the
matter with c. j. Spauld1ng. He's idiot!
Capt. Erickson has invented a heating ma
chine which will boil water by the suns rays
An English paper thinks the railway trains in
the Soudan might be run by these solar en-
gine's. The best thing to run English trains in
that quarter is Ell Mahdi.
***
Several persons died near Kankakee, illinois,
from eating dried beef. A microscopic exam
ination revealed thousands of worms in The
meat, hdeous looking things with horns
Now, what's fellow to do? II there has gotten
to be snakes in the meat well the drink,
it is certainly time to "tal1e to the woods"
Wade Hampton has written the truth about
the battle of Bull Run, at last. The truth about
the movements in the war will continue TO be
written for q generation. But no two state
ments will be the same. Wade says that if it
had not been for him and his six hundred men,
the Rebels would have been whipped at Bull
Run.
Some fellow looking at the play of "Oliver
Twist" in Columbus was overcome with hor-
ror at the murder of Nancy, and screamed out
for them to stop it, This reminds us of case
which happened in Jackson a great many
years ago. There was an Indian Show down
on Main Street, opposite the old Andres hotel.
The pelformers-real Indians-were engaged in
a dance over the capture of an snemy from an
other tribe. At a certain point in the dance
they knocked the prisoner down with club,
and quick thought drew scalping knife
across his head. AS the red paint tegan to flow
down onto the ground old lady. we'll known
in Jackson, screamed out at the top OF her
voice: 'Muderation! Make em quit! He'll
never stand that in the world! But the cruel,
murderous business went right on, and the
poor woman had 10 sit and see the man butch
cred, right before her eyes.
A lady living but few miles from Jackson
tells joke upon herself, perpetrated by her
husband, which is too good to be lost: fhe gen.
tleman is farmer and stock dealer, and keeps
a gentle cid horse for his wife to ride. Recent
ly he broke young colt, for his daughter to
ride, and one evening not long ago, when they
were coming to town after night, he caught the
horses. The old and young were of the
same color, save that the y Dung one has "a white
star in the forehead. The gentleman carefully
pulled the forelock down over the star, and
presented This animal to the daughter, taking