Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-19
BRIGHT BITS.

"PA, who was Shylock?" Pater familias with
LOOK OF surprise and horrOr)-"Great good
ness, boy; you attend church and sunday
| lock was? Go and read your Bible, sill. .
Rambler.
WHAT are you doing there?" asked the
foreman Of the printers devil.
why, | am distributing a handful of 'pi' |
"Pl" voclferated the foreman, That's a
new poem by Walt Whitman. "-Drdbe'S Trqo-
eler's Aagdstae.
1T Is now given out that the s5l.O .0oO
package OF money at the National Treasury
Tor a long time used for the special delectafion
OF brides, they being allowed to handie 1t, is
nothing more than Il package OF paper care
iullY ued up and preserved. 4 man who
Wouid cheal poor bride Is mean enough to do
anything. Turn the rascal .-Iadidnapolis
Journal.
IT is said that in the criticisms of the re-
vised version Of the Old Testament much
comment is heard over the new Translation
OF Ecelesiestes H.. II, which instead of
Nanity anu vexatlon Of spirit" reads
" anlty ana striving after wind" This
certainly Is not literary improvement. Yet
IN some pulpits il wiz be found a truthful and
appropriate change.-BoSton Globe.
Too sENsATIvE-"Whata are you carrying
on mat banana for?" bawled the proprietor Of
irult stand to suspicious looking customer
who was getting away with some fruit. 81
am accepting voluntary contributions for the
Ladies Flower and Fruit Mission, but must
decline TO accept anything that Is not ten
dered in the proper spirit" and he slammed
the banana down on the fruit stand.-z6DQ
SJsjRg8.
1T Is semi-oGicially stated that Puck has
placed on It's index eXpurgatores the follow
ing; The mother-in- law joke; the milkman
JOKE; the ice cream Joke; the collar button
Joke; matrimonial jokes OF all kinds: the seal
SIX n-sack joke; the Chicago girls feet Joke;
the putung-up stoyepipe joke the church
ialT oyster JOKE. The early demise of PHch
Is awaited with regretful confidence. The
public prefers the beaten path In humor as in
everything else, beside which 1t is hard to
learn Old humorists new trlcks.-BUfGl0 Es-
press.
A Fox, having Ascsrtained that there was
a Deadly Feud between the Wolf and the Hy-
ena, set about e1ecting a Reconciliation. Il
can never be Friends with the " oil, >" said the
hyen6S, because We Differ on the Temper
ance question" And added to that" said
the Won, "ls the fact that we Radically differ
IN Politics" But see way out" persisted
the Fox. both OF you accept HONORARY Po-
sltlons on some Board, and the Abuse of the
Pubuc VIII soon make you Fast Friends -
Moral-You never knew a Failure yet.-De-
tr0it Free Press.
"AND this is the sitting room of your insane
asylum, Is it, doctOr?"
Yes, madam"
Dear, me! what vicious looking lunatic
tnat ls sitting over there by the window. |
should think you would keep her in a cell
with straight jacket on"
''She is not 80 dangerous as You saw she
looks. my dear madam"
But why do you allow her the use of this
roOm?"
because she has no other apartment in
which 20 spend her time. She is my wife ~
Detroit journal.
INDICATIONS
Now doth the little onion
Pop up its little head,
And the restless little rsdish
Stretch in its little bed.
The sunflsh and the minnoW
Wag their shiny little tails,
While the chlpmunk and the robin
Adorn the fences rails
The blossom by the hedSe-side
And on the loafer's nose,
Tells of the coming spring time
And blooming Of the rose.
Boston Globe.