Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1885-06-04
HERE IND THERE.

This is the kind of cup that "cheers,n if
it doesn't inebriate. -NoyTistolon Herald.
No, Araminta, you mistake; it is a car
boy which contains vitriol; cowboy is
very different kind of vessel though, to
be sure, it is frequently filed with some
thing very like vitriol.-B0st0H Tran
script.
Putting Him Through His Psces."-
Mrs. Mulvaney (the laundress): "Indade,
mann, an it's miserable 1 am. I'm but
just on me feet wild the pain in the me
back, an Jimmy he's as bad off; he has |
a cough on UNI that sounds loike an
empty bar'l Cough fer the lady ,Jimmyl"
-Hd'per's Bdsar.
Friendly Advice-Gilhooly went to an |
Austin doctor for advice. "What is the |
matter with you2 ?" 81 am as hungry as a |
wolf. 1 work like horse, but 1 can't |
Sleep" 81 guess you had better see |
veterinary surgeon" said the doctor, sar-
castically. "What do I want to see him |
for? 1 am no veteran.-Ieras Siftings. |
Historical Note.-Plutarch says that
Demosthenes made gloomy fizzle of his
first speech. This did not discourage
him. He finally became the smoothest
orator in that country, and it was no un-
| common thing for him to fill the First
Baptist Church of Athens full.'-BiN
| Nye in Boston Globe.
A New Jersey country paper says in its
notice of local concert: "The tenor was
not in good voice, but his skill as an ac-
companist upon the piano was much adj
mired." This is like the reply of a
Trinity professor to IN uppish country
schoolmarm; "Do you speak French,
Mr.. -W mo, madame, but dance
the Spanish dance"
''What is an oyerseer ~ asked Lampy,
as the ibis assumed his wonted position
on the gas fixture. IAN overseer, my
boy" said the ibis, sis one who oversees
or rather overlooks the best interests of
the college," Correct" remarked the
Jester; "now, can you tell me what n
decision by the overseers is calledS" "An
oversight" twitted the irreverent bird
Harvard LdmpOon.
The Stone Mill, which has been one
of the wonders of the world and very
essential pnrt of Viewpoints stock in trade
for the centenary, was so badly damaged
by the extreme cold of lust winter that
it will require quite extensive repairs ut
an early day in order to save it from utter
destruction. The plastering has fallen
off in large quantities and the stones are
loosened, and many of them have fallen
to the ground.
The minister was struggling to put on n
new four-ply collar and the perspiration
was starting from eyerypore. "Bless the
collar" he calculated, 'oh, yes, bless it.
Bless the blessed collar I" my DEAR
said his wife, "what is your text for this
mornings sermon?" 'F-fourteenth
verse f-fifty-fifth Psalm" he replied in
short gasps. 1.-The w-words of his
m-mouth were s-smoother than b-butter
but w-war was in his h-heart. "-Neu
York Times.
For general use, correspondent of the
New York E0eatag Post, formulates L
, rule by which to---avoid the misuse of the
words "shall' and twill" 1t is that
/ when ''shall' and twill" imply prophec,
and futurity only, and do not denote de
n termined resolve or peremptory com
mand, use tshall" in the first person
except when it would imply undu,
authority over men and matter, ani
It "will'' in the second and third.
An Austin dude has been owing Colone
Yerger 800 for long time, so the othe
day he dropped the forgetful man note
requesting him to settle. Next da,
a Colonel Yerger received letter from tn
careless debtor. There's no money il
it," said Colonel Yerger as soon as h
looked at the address. ''IIow do yol
know 7" asked friend. because il i
d addressed to General Yerger instead o
Colonel Yergcr; that means he takes
81 out in politencss." On the letter beinI
), opened no money WINS found in it.-Iepd
Sittings.
Rather strange suit for damages is +
be instituted ut Albany, Gentry county
Is A young man upon coming to Alban
III about II year ago WINS Unclaimed by on
of the merchants of the town. The mel
lg chant persisted in calling the man by hi
nickname until now the whole town az
Il, pears to know no other name. Tn
" young man feels greatly nggrieved, an
s. will bring suit for damages. The mel
n chant has employed competent attorney
to defend him.-RaRsaS city, No
0; Times.
u, The ancient tavern in bingham, Mass
VI Mt which Lafayette stopped when on hi
he way to Nalitaslet Beach, and which Coy
Andrew for Il time used ,s n summer res
dencc, is now in process of demolition
The building was erected in 1867 by Gale
Bates, and was known MS the Ancht
us Tavern. When General Lafayette visite
os bingham, about the LIST of October, III,
Vi he lodged at the Anchor Tavern II
tavern was favorite resort of the me
from the French fleet, moored Mt the tin
IL in Nuntasket Roads. -L5OStOH JOurRdt.
on Mr.. Talmage in his Sunday sermc
u, said: "Recently there came to me the fa
''' TINT n college had been built in the fl
M West for intidcl purposes, and not Ion
Is afterward the college failed and it WI
sit handed over to Presbyterian compan,
lily and is now run in the interest of tn
orthodox religion" And this reminds
Die that there was recently published Il
on fact that n church in Brooklyn hnd bee
IN converted into skating rink, and MS sue
DC drew much larger crowds than when
was n house of worship. Both of the
,ar facts are significant and are distendt
mu with n big moral. -NOYist0don HeTaM
re. Quite Surprise. and Mr.
Pctcrby have been married several year
,,y They live very peacefully, MS is usu
III with married folks, hut occasionally til,
int have falling out "rhat was not n nit
lvo way to treat me- To-day was my brit
me day, and you did not surprise me with
present. Every year since we have know
I'm each other you have given me prese
'pe on my birthday, and / counted ON yOI
ne doing it this time" ''But, my den
pdh where would there have been any surpri
If made you PRESENT. l didn't gi'
Inn you anything on purpose so that y,
on might enjoy II surprise. ~ ertS SiftiaS
do The crows, having discovered II fie
use which peasant had planted with cor
its, descended upon it in such numbers tn
en- every hill WINS at length opened and owe
grain devoured. When autumn can
his there was II dearth of food, and deleg
60, ton of crows went to raven tosecure i
III opinion and advice. My opinion, &c
MI tlemen," said the raven, sis TINT
Inc You hadn't deyoured the spring seed v,
lie would have had plenty to eat Of b
autumn crop, and my advice is for you
CIV get your stomachs in trim for shrinliage
ing Moral: He who takes no heed of i
on, morrow must expect disaster.
en- The esteemed New York Tribune pu
W., fishes the following bit of educational i
NV formation: Colonel John Il. Cuyler
on, Brooklyn, who had n good deal to do wi
the public schools of that city, says til
rn- there are many children under ten yen
her of age who cannot tell the time of d.
der from clock or watch" If there is am
She thing singular and startling in this stat
n, mcnt, we have failed to detect
.ue Colonel John I. Cuyler of Brooklyn, N
,oI the New York Tribune are hereby i
H. formed thnt there are in Boston thousan
= of children under t,nenty years of n
- | who pnOnnf toll tho t;,,n ,e A. L.,