davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-07-29
"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

I'D never think of marrying a
baseball player, Belle" "Why, why
snot, my dear?" Because, if he didn t
reach home in the morning before the
clock struck three times I'd be put
out. p Washington Hatchet.
1t is said that the heart of the
average man sends $4,000 pounds of
blood through the arteries every hour.
When"a ruffian threatens to drink your
hearts blood, his eyes are larger than
his stomach.-Y. Y. Graphic.
women, my boy," said a parent
to her son, care a delusion and a
snare" at is queer, murmured the
] boy, chow people will hug delusion. .
And while the old man looked queerly
at him, the young man hunted up his
roller skates and went out to be shared,
-Peck'S Sun.
-''Sakes live, Missus Bumly, why
didn' yo' tole me Willee he'd de mumps?
Now I've done sposed de baby to UNI,
an he'll hab 'em, shuah!'' ''Oh, ]
tink dais no daniah from UNI, Missus
Ketchum, kase Willee's got UNI on one
side only, an luther side hain't looked
UNI tall, an dey've been long toged-
der aller time. ''-Harper's Bu@ar
Mrs. Blank-''W What wonderful
things are done nowr' Mr.. Blank
''In what way?" Mrs. Blank. Every
way. The paper says a new telephone
instrument has been invented by which
the crying of a baby may be heard at
the distance of hundred miles. 1t
dom say who was the inventor" Mr..
Blank-''Then he must have escaped. y
Philadelphia Call.
-Dumley with an appetite for
breakfast)-"Oh. Jane, you may bring
me bit of the steak, not too we'll done,
please" Jane-"Shure, an there's no
steak, SORT" DumIey-''Wha I GER
talnly smell steak" Jane Its from
the clearinghouse mkt door, sorr. -
Landlady-'' Jane, you had better shut
the door now. The room is getting a
little chilly" -Drabe's Traveller S
Magazine.
Little Harry, aged four, who had
been presented with a toy monkey,
very much astonished his young and
greatly admired aunt the other even
ling, by ending his prayers with ''a-
monkey instead of ''amen." His
aunt was greatly shocked and ex-
claimed: why, Harry! what made
you say that?" Theyoung philosopher
answered: Il say "a monkey because
[ like monkeys best; you say amen
because you like men best. ~ Y.
Sun.
Mrs. Peterby, of Dallas, is a " O.
man with head for business. "Just
see here, l have bought a beautiful
rocking chair at auction worth three
dollars, and | only paid two dollars for
. it; so you see l have one dollar clear
profit Don't tell me after this that
women have no business sense" 800
you need the rocking chair?" asked
4 Mr.. Peterby. mo" Then what
!! did you buy it forP" ''To save money,
I of course. How could | have saved
that dollar if | hadn't bought it,
stupid?"-Teras Strings.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-07-29
PERSONAL AND lMPERSONAL

The property of women naturally
runs to dry-goods. A dry-goods man
has bought Mary Andersons Long
Branch cottage.
There are now but five thousand
and four hundred residents in the
Ecounty where stood jamestown of early
settlement fame. Chicago Times.
Lord Garmoyle, while he was in
this country, had an allowance of one
hundred dollars week. Now, as the
successor to the name and fortune of
his father, Earl Cairns, he will have
unlimited thousands week.
The President of Costa RIGA lives
in the finest house in the capital city.
and his residence and the Palacio Fed
eral, which is near it, are about the
only two-story structures in the place.
He. receives house rent free, the use of
two horses and a carriage, salary of
] $1,000 year, and uses soldiers for
his servants.
Colonel Couch (since the death of
Payne the leader of the Oklahoma
''boomers, is a native of New York
and "Fortv-niner." He is medium
sized, mild hammered, dresses in con-
yentional garb, and presents no sug-
gestions of the wild borderman. He
was Colonel in an Illinois regiment in
the war of the rebellion Troy Times.
Colonel Richard King, of Texas,
who died lately, left one ranch con-
tanning one million acres under fence.
His estate is estimated at seven million
dollars. He died of cancer of the
stomach, and physicians were i'll con
slant attendance, including celebrated
specialists from other States, and all OF
them were paid fabulous prices. CHI
c0QO Herald.
Henry Curtis, the Stratford veteran,
was ninety years old recently. There
are some curious features in his his
tory. He has always lived in the house
in which he was born in 1895. For
stwenty-three years past he has always,
son his birthday, visited his son in
Bridgeport, and the day has never
been stormy. With the exception OF
shis sight his faculties are well pre-
aserved. He remembers all the Presi-
dents except Washington Hartford
4 COurd7at.
-EX-Secretary Fre8inghuysen's un-
Gle, in whose family he was brought up
Gas an adopted son, was also named
Theodore, and he was one of the great
men of the country from 1920 to 1850,
swhen he went out of politics and be-
Jeanne the President of Rutland College.
In 1874 he was the candidate for Vice
President with Henry Clay, and there
sis an old campaign song of that time
(which goes as follows:
The rooster jumped upon the fence,
Just as the sun was riSin',
8 And clapped its wings most gloriOusly,
And crowed for Clay and Frelinghuysen.
Peter Gilsey landed in New York
City, poor emigrant, in 1886, and
Wrought some time at his trade, which
was piano-making. He also opened a
2penny cigar shop in the Bowery, which
his wife tended, and thus they laid the
basis of a large fortune. He afterwards
zopened cigar shop in Broadway, gave
! up piano making in order to devote his
entire time to trade, and in this he sue
sceeded so rapidly that soon he had a
half dozen shops in operation. Specu-
lation in real estate followed, and his
purchases were so fortunate that the
sonce poor emigrant became million
aire.-N. Y. San.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-03-06

The new schoolmaster is now growing
old in the station where he began so
strangely a dozen years ago. He has
botanical walks still, when all his school
attend with him-he making good be-
havior the condition of their so doing.
These excursions on Wednesday and
Saturday afternoons have quite killed
two circuses that came into the village,
as not n of the scholars chose to de-
priye himself of the walk for the other
attraction.
Twas at Rocky Valley last winter, on
a Wednesday, and went down on the
pleasant pond, near the school house,
to indulge in the old sport of skating,
which I had not done for years. The
day was fair, and the ice was clear az
crystal. Hearing a tremendous shout
ing, I looked towards the end of the
pond, and saw a crowd of boys on
skates, pursuing aman who kept well
ahead, and when they came up to where
L was, like an army with banners, / saw
it was the teacher. He recognized me
and stopped.
"Ah," says I, "Mr. Judson, I see you
are the same old boy"
Eyes," replied he, ''we are all boys
such a day as this, and such skating as
this"
Don't the parents think strange OF
you for your frivolous conducts" /
asked.
eyes" said he, " some, like those de-
scribed by Holmes,
sDistrust the ASSURE flowers that blossom on the
shoot,
AS though wisdom's old potatoe may not -four.
ish at the root
He sweep away with his train of boys,
and a happier band never woke the glad
echoes out doors than those who were
in chase to beat the school-master. He
had never had occasion, as | afterward
learned, to fog a boy in his school, af-
ter the first day, and he had the reputa-
ton of having the best school in the
country.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-03-06

HarperG for December.
The custom OF decoration by green
plants and flowers in all sorts of fes-
tivals is as old as history, and of course
the use of evergreens at Christmas
needs no explanation, nor is the Gus
tom any less Christian because it is
of immemorial use among pagan ma
tons. The mistletoe, however, had a
unique place. The Celtic peoples and
the Druids held it in the same ven
Grafton that the Romans did. 1t was
used by the Romans In religious cere-
monies, and it may have been the "gold-
en- bough" of the Internal regions.
The Druids gathered it against
the festival of the winter s~olstice
with great solemnity, the prince
of the Druids cutting it himself with q
golden sickle. It was used as a charm
against evil spirits, and excellent medi-
cal properties are ascribedt to it. 1t was
supposed to possess the power to pre-
serve from poison, and the mystic prop.
erty Of giving fertility. kissing under
the mistletoe" may have had reference
to this ancient belief. There was q ira
dition hat the maid who was not kissed
under a bough of mistletoe at Christ
mas would not be married during the
following year. There was once a no.
ton that its heather origin should ex-
clude it from the Christmas decorations;
but this found no favor with the young
people at any period. On the
contrary, they took good care that
it should be hung, and that it should
have plenty of berries, for the cere-
mony under it was not duly performed
if a berry was not plucked off with each
kiss, and consequently the supply of
berries determined the number of kiss
es. 1t did not need the Roman use of
the plant to recommend such a proven
tive of the state of old-maidism. Some
trace the use of green bush decoration
to the original branches of vervain
among the Romans. With Romans and
Druids the vervain was a panacea for
every i'll, and they believed, above all,
that it "conciliated hearts which were
at variance"-another good Office OF any
plant in the Christmas season. The
Druids only venerated the mistletoe
that grew on the oak, but the common
mistletoe (Viscus album, with its pear
ly berries, is gathered from the haw-
thorn, the old apple tree, the lime, and
the fir, and from other trees. Of late
years this parasite has been sea rcer
than formerly, and efforts have been
made to propagate it. This is done by
clearing off the bark under any joint of
a young tree with the moistened thumb,
and then pressing the glutinous berry
on the cleaned place till it adheres to
the bark; it will begin to show growth
in about fifteen months. 1t is an obvi-
Gus suggestion that in sections Of the
country where the statistics show q fall
ing off in marriages this plant ought not
to be let die.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-03-06

on his hat. Twain did not remain in
Elmira, however, but went to Hartford
and began to write "Roughing It."
This was also successful and establish
ed his fame.
Mark Twain probably makes as
much out of his books SIS any other
writer In the country. He has his
Hartford firm publish his books for him
and he 10 arranges it that he gets q
royalty on those printed in Europe. He
is better known in foreign lands than
any other American writer, and he is
an international character. Many of
his scenes are taken from real life, and
his description Of travels are In the
main true. He is a hard worker, and
while ct Hartford be writes IN his bill
lard room in the attic. Like Trollope,
he believes there is nothing like a piece
of shoemaker's wax on the seat of ones
chair to turn out good literary work,
and like Blaine, he has q fixed amount
of writing for each days duty. He re-
writes many of his chapters, and some
OF them have been scratched out and in
terlined again and again. Mr.. Clemens
every one knows Mark Twain's name
is Clemens-will be 40 years old on the
Both of this month. He is o Missouri
man by birth, and has taken care OF
himself aver since he was 10. He has
been a practical printer, a steamboat
pilot, a private secretary, a miner, q re-
porter, q lecturer and q book maker.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-03-06
MARK TWAIN.
A Fen Picture Of the Famous American
Writer.


Mark Twain has q big head stuck on
by q long neck to o pair of round
shoulders. Recently he came on to the
stage at Washington as though he were
half asleep, and he looked TO me as
though nature, in putting him together,
had, somehow, got the joints mixed.
BE has q big face, a nose large enough
to represent any kind of genius, and
eyes large, black and sleepy. He has
a thick, bushy name of hair which is
now IRON gray, and q bushy moustache
which oyerhangs his characteristic
mouth. As he stood on the stage he
reminded me much Of q mammoth in
terrogation point and rs he drawled out
his words with scarcely q gesture his
voice made me think Of a little buzz saw
slowly grinding inside a corpse. He
did not laugh while he uttered his fun
niest Jokes, and when the audience
roared he merely stroKed his chin or
pulled his moustache.
Still he could not help being satisfied
and I do not doubt the contrast Of his
first days in Washington, when he came
here years ago aud had hard work MAX
ing money enough topay his board bills
came forcibly to him. Though it is
not generally known, Mark Twain was
once o Washington correspondent.
He came here from the west with Sena-
tor Stuart, and for O time wrote letters
to the Alta Californian and the New
York Tribune. He used to drink a
good deal in those days, and was hardly
considered q reputa BILE character. It
was shortly before this that he made
the trip from which he wrote Inno-
cents Abroad" and this book he wrote
here from the notes he took during his
tour. The book made him both famous
and wealthy. His manuscript he first
sent to several prominent publishers,
but they all rejected it and he
vas about giving up in despair
when o Hartford company took
hold of it. The result was they made
$75,0 900 off the book and sold
more than 200, 900 copies of it. 1t was
after this that Mark Twain tried editing
the Buffalo Express. A man who work
ed on the paper at the same time told
me to day that this venture of his was
not a success. He loafcd around the
Office, guying the Office boy, and telling
Jokes and stories rather than writing,
and the only fruit Of his Buffalo ex-
perience was his marriage, which, like
s'Innocents abroad" turned out we'll.
His wife brought a pot Of gold into the
family, and when he got 60 Elmira he
found that his father-in-law had made
him the present Of q brown stone front,
and thrown in o goodman with q bug
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-03-06

According to the Medical Record, in
a tables show that q man who abb
stains from alcohol has, at 20 years OF
age, q chance of living 44.2 years; at 90,
36.5 years; at 40, 1913 years. An In
temperate mans chance at 20 is 1915
years; at 30, 1875, and at 40, 11.6.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-03-06
A Sleeping Llon.
the New York Times.

From the New York Times.
An atmosphere of peace and quiet
prevailed Hitchcock's, the Delmonico's
of Park row, at midnight, and various
car drivers, printers, news vendors, and
night hawks were partaking Of coffee
and beef and beans in serenity aud COM
tentment. A very tall, q very heavy
and a very gaudy gentleman, with big
plaid trousers, big diamond, silk hat and
shiny boots, entered, sat down at atable
and called for beef and beans, coffee
and two peices of pie. These he con-
sumed and then he dropped into a gen.
tie doze over his toothpick. "A waiter
observed his slumber and tapped him
on the shoulder.
"This amt no bedroom" the waiter
said.
The gaudy gentleman was so surprised
that he failed to find his voice for sew
eral seconds. Then he uttered a tre-
mendous oath that caused a timid man
at the next table to spill his coffee.
"Do you know what you've done?n
he shoutud to the waiter. you've
walked a sleeping lion. If / begin to
clean out this place it's your fault. You
begun ii. Cant a gentleman close his
eyes after his dinner without being In
sultedl"
The gaudy gentlemen arose with d
terrible glare In. his eye and walked up
to the table where the timid man sat.
IT - AI.u--I AL1 4nh1n ~wsfI 1@a Aaku onA
said IN an aggressive
I'm q sleeping hon"
"Yes, sir" responded the timid man
very meekly.
The gaudy man went to another Ia
BILE where three men were devouring
beef and beans.
"Did / hear one of you fellows say
that you wanted to get into q row2" he
inquired.
mo, sir replied the three men, POI
litely.
He returned to the timid man and
said: -
I'm q democrat and I'm worth $780,
naan
"Yes, sir" responded the timid man
humbly.
Then the gaudy gentleman walked
up to the cashiers desk and threw
down his 30 cent check and a silver
quarter.
Five cents morel" said the little
cashier, quietly.
Five cents more. eh ~ sneercd the
gaudy gentleman. @Well, Is cents is oil
you'll get.
Five cents more, T" repeated the small
cashier, In the same tone.
"That's all you'll get,n said the
gaudy gentleman, pointing to the quart
er.
"Are you going to give me that five
cents 2n inquired the small cashier.
grimly.
"How many times dye want me to
tell you that I hain't?n responded the
gaudy gentleman. "You take that
quarter or nothing. I'm an old sport,
I am"
"Gimme Eve CENTS" he said. "or I'll
pound the head of you'll"
Hold on, " said the gaudy gentleman,
meekly. Whats the use of making q
kick about FIVE cents? ?"
Fork it out, ordered the small cash
Ter, still holding the CANDY gentleman
by the throat.
The gaudy gentleman went down into
his vest and produced q nickel. The
small cashier let go Of his throat and re-
turned behind his counter, while q shout
arose from all the tables -
.Oh, give the lion back his five
cents!"
The sleeping lion hastily climbed up
the stairs, into the street, without look
ing behind him.
A private letter written from a citizen
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-03-06
A private letter written from . citizen

A private letter written from a citizen
Of Eryington. Dickinson County, Va,
toa Mr.. Lehman, Of Wheeling, w. Va,
gives graphic descriptions OF the plague
in that vicinity that fully sustain the
worst reports yet published. Erying-
ton, he says, is in the healthiest part Of
the county, with q population Of 100.
Since August IL has had forty-ona
deaths. Half Of these were refugees from
the country round about. In q walk OF
eight miles the previous day the writer
called on about forty families, bnt found
none in which there had not been from
one to seven deaths.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-04-21

Oosl-Delivered, hard, 9 80 per ton, soft
40 per ton
Lard-Armour's, wholesaling at IN
Flour-City flour, l 50@2 80,
Brooms-1 75aS 90 per doz.
LIvR STOCK.
Cattle-Butcher Bows 8 25@3 rs. Butcher
steers, 3 1904 90.
Sheep-3 O0@3 80.
Hogs 60G3 rs.
FRUITS.
Eggs-Firm at lie.
Butter-The receipts of good stock are very
small. Creamery, l2@25o; choice country
roll is scarce and sells readily at 16@1Sc; fair
to good, 129l4c; poor stock is dull at S@10c.
Poultry-1n strong demand for both live
and dressed. Live chickens, per doz,, 3 95@
3 20; turkeys, per To-, 9@10cj ducks, per doz.,
9 5063 90; spring chickens, per doz., 500
dressed chickens, choice, per h., 12c; dressed
turkeys, choice, per h., 13@l4c; dressed
ducks, per h., 10@l2c,
Onions In good demand at l 2J@1 80 per
bushel.
Potatoes Receipts very light and demand
good; choice stock of any good variety, 5O@
S5c; fair to good, 40@45c.
Beans In good supply, with fair demand.
Hana.picked navles, l 30; clean mediums,
1 25@1 So; dirty and unscreened stock dull at
75@100c.
Game-Ducks, mallard and other large,
per doz 2 0l@2 %; teal and mixed, 1 25@
l 90; geese, 3 90.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-04-21
Artists Materials at G, r. Boards Wall
Paper Store. Send for price list.
Cruel Gossip.

An exceedingly quiet rumor is abroad
that William Keeline probably came to
his death, a few weeks ago, through the
aid of SEINE other agency than . natural
cause, and that certain paroles are about
to be arrested On suspicion. A vlgilant
hunt has 90 far failed to draw out any
particulars more than is stated above,
except that 1t is said on authority that
he was worth SAC, 600 and that only $l6,-
600 Is 30 far accounted for. Where the
balance il, II there wal such an estate, Is
yet In the dark.-Council Bluffs Herald.
The above is q most cruel bit of gossip,
such as the young man who is trying to
learn the newspaper business ON that
torchlight sheet is alone capable of. The
family and their friends are quite indig-
nant that such q thrust should be made,
with no shadow of truth to 1t. The ad-
ministrators of the estste say they never
heard of such a rumor, much less Of
there being any facts w~arranting such
report, and 1t seems that the fresh young
man who wrote the above must have beer
either fooled by some gosslper, or else
he Ia determined to fill space even at the
risk of woun6ipg innocent hearts, and In
juring regulations better than his own
The paper will probably apologize, a
usual in such cases.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-04-21
Separated from the Body.

Chicago Tribune.
DIR. Leland, who recently died In Geor-
gia, was a great sufferer from asthma,
and to all appearances died several times
before the final dissolution took place.
On more than one occasion his family
made preparations for his funeral, and a
day or two before his actual death he told
a remarkable story of how he Witnessed
the arrangements. "Unable to lie down,
l passed through all my sickness
in an easy.ohair. My body died
several times. L, that Is, my spirit,
would go away from it, and standing In
an opposite corner of the room would
look back at the flesh and blood In the
chair and wonder how l was ever Induced
to pass SO many years ia it's company.
Poor old body, ! thought, your troubles
are nearly over. They will soon put you
away under the ground where you will be
at rest forever"
81 saw my family gather about my
old frame as 1t leaned back, dead, in the
chair, and 1t gave me pain to see them
weep, Then 1 would feel something
pulling me towards my body again; ]
could not resist 1t; / was powerlesS; and
in a moment ! had taken possession of it,
| Then there was an instant of pain, and
opened my eyes and breathed. Each
time this was repeated l was more reluc'
tant to return to my body"
Omaha daily bee., 1885-04-21
QUEER NURSING.
How a Drunken Attendant Tortured
SMALLPOX Patients.

There was a civil case in the superior
court yesterday which brought out soms
interesting testimony in regard to the
the treatment Of the smallpox cases last
winter. The suit was DR.. Bellinger
against Mr.. Neumeyer, the proprietor of
the Coy house, the doctor claiming $3.50
for Attending him when he had the small
pox. Mr.. Neumeyer claimed that the
doctor was simply attending a county
case, In the same room, and that
he did not engage him to
attend him, and that he received
no care or medicine from him. In set
Ting this difference some lively facts are
incidentally brought in. 1t appeared
that a nurse In attendance was 80 drunk
as to abuse the patients under his charge,
not only neglectipg their wants but
threatening them With violence, go the
sick opes were so much alarmed that
thew took turns watching the nurse, ait
| ting up all of some nights lest he should
do them some harm while asleep. This
fellow, whose name was Collemer, would
raise one end of a bed and then let 1t
drop suddenly, so as to give the sick one
a lar, and annoy him. 1t was also testi'
fed that he would build such a hot fire
that it was almost torture to be In the
room, and then go out and leave II
and that there was danger OF the place
burning up. Things got 80 bad that Mr..
Neumeyer had to threaten TO throw the
fellow out In the street, unless the gu
thoiiues took this nurse away. Collemel
was then taken to the pest house. This
statement in connection with the Other
revelations of the care of patients. dur
ing this smallpox time, shows that at
fails were very poorly handled, and thar,
should be some lessons learned, which
will prove valuable in case ,hs smallpox
should ever appear here again.