Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-12-20
A Mean Bostoniar.

up IN the shape of a BOStonlan. a
South Boston man recently built two
houses side bv side-one for himself
and one TO sell. In the house sold he
had placed Il furnace against the party
wall Uf the cellar. and from its hot air
chamber he had constructed fues TO
heat his own domcilp The owner of
the other house found it very hard to
keep his house warm. aud was aston
ished at tE. am punt of coal required 70
keep his family comfortable, while the
dishonest builder kept himself warm at
his neighbours expense nearly a whole
winter before the trick was discovered.
Sanitary Ne'cs.
As he sat on the steps one Sunday
evening. he claimed the right to a kiss
for every shooting star. She at first
demurrcd As became modest maiden.
but finally welded. She was even so
accommodating AS TO call his attention
to tlving meteors that We're about to
escape his observation. and then got to
calling him on lightning bugs. and at
last got him down TO steady work on
the light of lantern that man was
swinging about a depot in the distance
where trains were switching Chicago
Tribune.
jimmy Tuffb boy is always on hand
election days. He was up before the
frost had disappeared from every liv-
ing thing and gulped down a cup of
coffee. Il say, ma, shan't be home
for dinner. It's lection to-day
What have VOC to do with the cleo
tioh? You are not a voter. James. y
Il know all that. But I'm goin' to
hear the men give each other away
around the polls. Beats sewin' So
ciety all to bits And grabbing a
doughnut, he hurried off to good
place where he could hear ali that was
said. d.--Hartford Post.
Perhaps the revision of the Bible
was UNNECESSARY, after all. The histori-
an is nnpeiled to this reflection by 1
sage remark which was uttered in his
hearing in a street-car the other day.
On the opposite side of the car were
two women. who were talking rather
loudly. said one: Did you know
Sarah had had another lot of money
left her by her cousins will?' Law
mel" exclaimed the other. THE Bible
never said a truer thing than them
that has gits'' ''-BOSton record.
Customer - Them pants is too
short. Dealer-Dey will stretch, mine
trent, dey will stretch. Hang weights
on de legs efery night TO keep pags out
of de knees. Customer-Ihev are too
dark. Dealer-Dot ish no matter; dey
will fade lighter i'll tree days. Custom
er-They are too wide in the legS.
Dealer Veil, ven you stretch dem de
long way. dey get schmaller Sidewiss
De mors you wear dem. de peter dey
fits YOU. Customer that big
grease-spot.t Dsaier-Oh, dots nod
ding. Youhaue dem all over waggin
girase in tree davs. But | drow off
ten cents for dot, and take one forty.
Sale made N y. Mad
"A man whose daughter nau married
away from home, wrote to inquire " h al
kind Of a man her husband was. and
received for reply, Il tell you. father
he's prime good whistler, and YOU
never saw such hand for flapiacks in
all Your days. He's got blue eyes, and
his father belongs to church. "-Chicago
Ledger.
Hobson Jones' yes; Miss Clara
gave me every reason to think she was
interested in me; but when | asked her
to be my wife she unqualificdlv re-
fused" ." Mrs. de Bullion: ..On what
grounds did she refuse you?" Hobson
Jones. "on the lawn tennis grounds
h;her fathers own yard "~-