Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1885-08-12
Why NOtl

The principle of q government provid-
ing FREQ homes for its citizens is wholly
of y 'paternal" naturc--as much so Us
the public-school and postal systems. or
many 0f the schemes outlined by disciples
OF I4assalle. Prudh0mmc, Karl Marx. and
DR.. Douay. Well. If Unolc Sam furnish
the home, why not follow the idsa to o
keeper? In the states there are thousands
ut good. true. c.hearted and intelligent girls
now living lives of single cusscdncss
The marriage market in the older regions
OF America is OvcrstoOkcd with human
angels. Low wages and tho spread Of
dudism has reduced the stock OF mar
riageable and desirable males until the
demand is largely In excess of the supply,
Life, liberty and the pursuit of happi-
ness are asserted to be the right of every
citizen. The government protects life
and guarantees liberty. Why not also
tackle the Happiness" problem9 As we
have said, in the states there are thou
sands of good girls who want husbands
THEY are not happy. Here in Dakota are
thousands of young men (hcalthy, intelli-
gent. kind, entcrprising, the best in the
land) with good farms, and IL sure pros.
pect for iniepe ntlcncc and comfortable
life. But they are like unto fiddle with
| broken string, They are wifeless and
swcctcartlcss. They hear not the silvery
voice of woman meath their ooftree, and
the splash Of manly hands in the house
hold dishwater hath no music for their
ear. THEY. likewise, are unhappy. All
just laws nre made for the good of the
people. What Is tariff -tinkering, or civil
service reform, or foreign relations, COM
pared with this momentous question? !?
The government is all-powerful what it
can't do isn't worth doing. 1t can bring
these fororn and wasting souls together.
Let Uncle Sam provide for bringing out
train.loads of young maidens from the
East (The older ones will get here con
their own hook SO soon us they hear of
they have to. walk.) When the young
ladies arrive ut the town where lAe land
Office of district is situated, put them in
charge of the register and receiver. AS
an Illustration take the Bismarck office.
On every plat where bachelor has made
or makes filing, let Register Rea las hO
knows everybody in the district) insert a
| note of the personal characteristics (tem-
per. complexion, snoring capacity, etc. }
Of the entryman and the latter must file
photograph of himself. to be numbered
! and correspond with the number of the
filing. Photographs of both pioneers and
pilgrims are to adorn the frescoed and fly
specked walls of the land office When q
preference is shown by lady and gentle
man for their respective "pictcrs, let the
shave register. with "God-bless- you-my-
children" air, introduce them. Nine times
out of ten there will be no hitch (othcr
than that Of matrimony) in the proceed
ings. TO provide for this tenth case the
services of IL few old-lady professional
match makers may be secured. Any lion
hearted youth who takes to himself rcd
haired maiden to have the privilege OF fill
ing on an extra prc-emptlon. homestead,
and trcc.claim, ay bonus This ia a
brief outline of the plan, and details could
be arranged by Commissioner Sparks.
But it would hardly do to to give him the
full swing he now has ut the land laws.
His we'll. known disposition to play fan
tastic tricks might cause him to make
cxtraneous rulings and unwarranted de-
cisions-such as requiring the establish.
ment Of female ages by examination of
teeth. etc. No; come to think of it,
Sparks wouldn't do at all. Give the
registers and receivers full and final charge
of the wife. claim bureau" in their re-
spectivs districts. We're Dakota state,
political party could be formed on this
issue as it is, we can only petition. Let
| Uncle Sam consider himself petltioned.