St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-28
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
mfr. Barnum sadly remarks that

MIR. Barnum sadly remarks that the
death of Jumbo leaves a vacancy that
can not be filled. No doubt this is true.
Naval Examiner-.Now. sir, will
examine you for blindness. What
color is this lighte' ..How the deuce
can tell unless you take that red globe
of of it?"-Chicaqo News.
-Seven-hundred-a and fifty dollar fans
are very common in New York. but
sensible girls don't look for such pres
ents. They take fifty-cent fan and
S749.5O in ice cream and soda-water.-
Detroit Free Press.
Two jockeys have been killed at
horse-racing in New York recently. A
few more casualties of that kind and
the horse trotwill supersede baseball
as the National game" in this country.
-Norristoun Herald.
IL always pick my company" said
a braggart, who was elbowing his way
through crowd. "And their pockets,
when you get chance!" added quiet
gentleman. who stood politely aside,
with bow.-Golden Ddqs.
Il wish. mamma. dear?" protested
cute little Laura, knitting her brows in
comical severity; 81 really do wish
you'd make Harry stop throwing peach
kernels at me. He hasn't hit me yet;
but every time he throws he hurts my
feelings dreadfullv."
do not put salt into soup when
cooking until it has been skinned. rs
salt prevents the scum from rising"
So salt prevents the scum from rising.
eh?" Another reason why the fresh
youth should be attended to immediate.
ly.'-Boston transcript.
The New York Graohic describes
forthcoming volume as about half the
size of q pocketbook. This is too indef-
mite. If it means Vanderbilt's ) pocket
book it would be library in itself. but
il our pocketbook is understood--the
moral is obvious.-Phiiadelphia Call.
-"Bromley. is it true that you lost
your hired girl ?' .'Yes. MIR, Dnsen.
berry; she died" "Ah, what of ~
..Corroboration." "Of whate'' Cor
roboration. She wanted to know
whether there was really any risk in
lighting the fire with kerosene.
1t is said that Western girls have
stronger voices than those of the East.
But when an Eastern woman calls
..you John Henry" preparatory to tn g
kindling of the morning brands on the
family hearthstone. it is evident that she
has voice sufficiently strong to be dis
tinctly understood. Yonker's States
man.
A girl in one of the public schools
Applied to her teacher for leave to be
absent for half day, on the plea that
there was company at her house. The
teacher referred her to the printed list
of reasons that the school committee
think to justify absence, and asked her
if the case came under any of them.
She replied. with true wit, that it might
come under the head of domestic affiic
tion.-Boston Bulletin.
Here is a story told by Miss Marti
neau of a servant girl who came to hel
to be hired. The girl had a brogue that
might be cut with an axe. but denied
that she was Irish. ..Well.' said the
novelist. Il don't know whether you
are an Irish woman or not. All / know
is, you were born in Ireland" ''Well,
ma 'am," replied the girl. suppose
was: if was born in stable would ]
be a horse?" She was engaged with.
out further parley.-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
A few days ago a well-known SO.
ciety young man. shocked one OF his
lady friends by his ignorance of history.
1t was after dinner party at his house.
and she was telling him what she had
learned in her private history class
One thing led to another, and all the
time he was getting into deeper water
At last she surprised him by inquiring
Now. tell me. Mr.. -, what are the
Knights of the Bath?" He stammered
for . while. and finally blurted out
why, Saturday nights, suppose.
Buffalo Courier.