The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-06-11
HUMOR.

gARcAsM between friends is chasm
nat easily bridged over. Avoid it, or it
WIN at LAST become rs wide as the earth,
and rs deep as the grsve.-Chicogo
Sun.
"IHE face il the playground of the
soul.s but, ike little child, there are
many souls that would prefer 10 play in
the ist.--Nsvmas Independent.
WHEN a printer asks his bess girl to
give him q proof of her love she locks
Aer form up i'm his m-brace and he puts
bis imprint OMIT Carl Pystzef's Week
ly.
Jesse NcHENEY came home-ata late
bo,sr. and in his usual condition. ~You
are Just ous Of the saloon. Now don't
Won deny it." said his wife. 1T amt
my sault." responded the wsetches m
ebriate; I'D lave been there'yet II the
proprietor hadn't slosed up. '--Teras
Siftings.
GOOD REASON.
WHY does she holdiner head so ifeh
And look sosupe rcilious,
And pass the other maidens by
Ayif they made ber biliousy
Well may she proudly walk the street.
The while her pride incrt ases
Her crazy quilt IL Jurt complete
Made OF ten thousand pieces
-BOstOn Courier.
a BoToN girl is going to Ilsrvy
Prof. Edrnunds, one OF the men who
devised zone standard time" The mar
rage may be happyone If some fiend-
ish paragrapher doesnitFyush In with the
remark thas the Professor is anxious 70
call her his zone.-Eroihdnge.
THE young ladies off O, Pennsylvania
town have formed a. Popping the
Question Society" After a seasonable
term of membership y sung lady will
become competent to prompt the falter-
ing swain who sets out to propose for
her hand.-Erchange:
THEY talk shout a woqms NJ sphere
As thought had a limit,
There's not placein earth OF heaven,
There not aStask to mankind given,
The, els not a blessing woe,
There's not a whispered va or no.
There's not aiife, or deathr or birth,
That has a feathers weigh OF worth,
Without - woman init
A YOUNG Bostonian,. who recently
vent up among the hills of Vermont to
get married to afarmer's daughter, was
taken to task by the old. man as fol-
lows: "Now, Jeems, this. ere match
was kinder brought about by you and
Susie, and I've had no Chance to say
aaything to you. How much are you
worth?" WELL replied Jeems, after
some hesitation,. "puttingy it on the
basis of Western Union at 81 1 am
worth S30.000." "Stopl. young man
stop right thapt" exclaimed the old
man. Il want. q. sounder basis than
that Jist fig9er on turnirs at 70 cents
"a bushel and see what. your value
amounts tol"-IgdH Street Netos.
Ok the other hand, the least of prey
limits that the 10 are too, many lunch
tends about the establishment, and
that something should be done to Grad
aate them; andlthen he. S AVS, give me
another big sliae.of thatybeef; the last
vas little toc,sat; aud few more POI
tatoes and gravy, plenty of gravy, if
YOU please; and another psate of bread,
and plenty of Vermicelli. 1t Is healthy.
% little of il -, and some salad. You
Ought to have. more vegetables and
fish, or oysters, like they do at the
other saloon and fresh napkin. /.
can't eat mich now, as / ate late.
breakfast, and 1 am going home to din
ner. Just want q mere hite to stay my
stomach" and finally when he takes.
his temporary leave he does it with the.
air of prince abdicating the throne
ArkM1saU Erareler.
AMALGAMADRON.
Amalga gas a chieftan bold,
The Drayest OF his caan.
In legend quaint his praise is told.
For IN the glorious days OF old
lie was a mighty. ingn.
There came maid. abb fair was she,