davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
oLp.FAsHloNED WHIPPING.

The Qualifications OF Public School
Teacher In the Far West.
A teacher, whose school was in the
far West, furnishes the following &C
count of his examination by the director
of the district:
"You ever graddyated~
mo. sir"
"Glad of it! Graddyates don't hall
of 'em know beans when their head s
in the bag. Ever studied 'stronomyP''
'No, sir. never"
"Big fool if you had. Ever go nosing
round studyin' the fiory of a country
bottomy. they call it?"
Never, sir"
"You couldn't teach young uns O.
mine if YOU he'd. They was crank
here onct tryin' to make us b'leeve they
was sech things ez male and female
plants. Must o thought we hadn't nc
sense. Do you go much on grammar"
81 think it a very useful study"
al think it pack o stuff and clut-
terbosh! Don't callate ter hev my boys
an gals talk by rule an rote. an min
Gin things up tel they amt no sense in
'em. DO you fool way much time on
fc nologya"
Physiology? Yes: think it an ex-
cellent thing for boys and girls tc
study"
"Well, l amt so awfully set agin
that | reckon it's good thing ter
| know what ter do when one buSts a
blood vessel or breaks leg. faint
much use to gals, though. They
would do nothin' but set up a veil in
either dilemmy. not if they was chock
full o Technology. Do you go any on
what they call fizzognomy?"
II do not teach il"
Eye hadn't better. A man did once
He boarded with me fust week, an |
ketched him up on his fizzognomy. My
woman had fell down sullar an raised
turrible bump ON her head. got
this smarty to mappin' out her karac-
ter from her bumps, an he said the
welt she got fallin' was combative-
ness unusually developed. He meant
fightin' stren'th. wy. she could o.
whaled lion eff it he'd been so. an here
she's so delikit it clean fuckers 'er out
ter hor up the hind eend O. the Vaughn
when I'm a-tarrin' of it. Kin you spell
clean through the dictionary?"
mo, sir. am not good speller."
"Haint? Better brush up thar then,
or some o our youngsters down We.
That's their main holt. How are you
on tiggers?'-
VERY good, 1 think. I can teach
anrthying you would care to have
taught here, even to higher algebra"
..Algebray! we amt no use for alge-
bray here! Some men blat way bout
a ekallin' or Y, who couldn't saw the
multiplication table backwards ter save
'em. Could You haul off yer coat an
vest, crack yr fists, an lam six
footer of a youngster eff he was ter be
sassy at YEP"
Il would try to punish very re-
bellious boy"
"Well. I'll give We chance. We
b'leeve in good old-fashioned corp raj
whalin' here. No soft-sawdcrin' I'll do
instid of it. Learn the youngsters good
hoSs-sense, an do way with all fol-de-
rol. Learn 'em the vally O. tme an
money, an how to figger, write. read
an spell. an then turn EN- loose to
paddle their own canoe, SEE L.
Youths Companion.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
NE JUMPED.
A Detroit Man Who Beat the Chap That
Leaped from the Brooklyn Bridge.

A Detroit Man Who Beat the Chap That
Leaped from the Brooklyn Bridge.
"Heard of Odlum. haven't you?" he
asked, as he entered an Office on the
Fourth floor of a Gr;swold street block.
The jumper?'
YES; the chap that jumped from the
bridge and met his death.
..Well?''
'Well, I'm q better jumper than
Odlum ever was, and l came here to
jump from your big bridge"
But we haven't any,"
Yes; learned the fact only after
my arrival"
Il see. And you are dead broker"
well, you might call it that, and in
case you felt like"
Yes; feel like. l always feel like.
Come out herer'
The jumper followed him out into the
hall, and the gentleman drew back his
right leg, pointed to the.stairs and said:
Beat Odlumr'
you bet!" chirruped the stranger,
and he landed on the seventh step,
turned over and reached the Landing
right side up. made q bow to the audi
ence and turned the corler.-0strsit
Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

not been for chance; for ring
Would / have done thatp just think
dearest. whcm l never thought to NEE
again this side of the grave-if poo
Dick had not found you; if he had no
noticed the ring you wore; if you ha,
not thrown it away; if--if he had no
found it-oh. Stephen. think how i
would all have been. You would hav'
come back. and-dearest, dearest;
have you now; but it has wanted al
this to do what one little bit of trus
would have done thousand times bet
ter by fari Stephen, never. never doub
me again. Whatever you think, come
to me at once and ask me, just as l vii
come to YOU"
''Darling-I viii"
They could not bring themselves to
speak of Enoch Marri h. That was left
to the parish, who assuredly found plen
ty to say, and everything all wrong,
But, right or wrong, he found or thought
it needful to silence Improbable gossip
IN the most telling way. He married
She was the sister of Manchester jew.
eller, who had enough fortune to recour
him for his expenses in attempting to
win Patience Harlow and forty thousand
pounds. And such life she led hi;n.
and SO she made his money fly, that
poetic justice ever prevailed gloriously
it was over Enoch Marrish, and nc
other man,
That, however, belongs to later
time, when Stephen Harlow, who was
not the man to live on his wife's fort
une, was beginning to make another OF
his own, and when Tom Blackthorn,
confused only as to the part his boy had
taken in driving the French oat OF
Spain, was growing younger with the
years. The only time with which we
have to do is the latter part of that
eventful day when right prevailed over
wrong, thanks to plain gold ring with
posy that had done it. after all-that,
and dint rs of the stroke of steel, such
as wedding rings seldom bear.
And it wasn't the ring quite, though.
after ALL" said Dick that evening, as
Stephen sat holding the hand of Pa
tience, so long lost, and he (Dick) was
holding old Toms. Fancy all this
having come from an artful, treacher-
Gus, spying cat"
"A cat?" asked Patience.
"Yes; commonly called woman; a
creature at the bottom of all mischief
since the DAYS of Adam; except when
it's a horse; and then it's ten to one the
horse is mare"
dick" said Stephen, ''if you hadn' t
saved more than my life, I'd"
make me surveyors clerk? Thank
you-not for me. I'm farmer now.
And then, there's woman"
'.Another woman, still? Oh. Dick!
After air.
Not exactly woman. She happens
to be an angel. this time-and that
makes a difference, you see. Ia fact, 1
met her in London, when | was about
that legacy-not that she knew of that.
l know the sex, and l wasn't going TO
be bought and sold again: and she
mightn't have been the angel and the
lady know her to be now"
'.And this lady?' asked Stephen,
doubtfully.
This angelo asked Patience, with
smile.
is my wife," said Dick. defiantly.
"And the best wife in the world-bar
none"
It'll have NINE" said Stephen.
And so he thought even until
THE END.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
ASTHMA.

The Different Varieties of . Most Dis
tressing Complaint-Methods of Cure.
When asthma is independent Of
other diseases it is called primary. II
is to this that the young are most
liable. The attacks are peculiarly
violent, but the intervals between them
are long, and wholly free from asthma
tic symptoms. 1t is in this form that.
when the accumulated nervous ten
:iency explodes in an attack, the gem
eral system seems relieved. This form,
too, is most durable.
Secondary asthma has its EXCITE
cause in bronchitis. arrangement OF
the stomach, or in heart disease. The
last form is really rare, the difficulty Of
breathing (dyspnea) in many of the
supposed cases being due to the heart
alone. The second form occurs about
two hours after dinner. In many Of
these latter cases the patient may DO
Helped by taking no food after an early
dinner.
Bronchial asthma is the most COM
mon of all, and the most intractablc.
Every cold that brings on an attack Of
bronchitis induces an attack of asthma;
and where the bronchitis is chronic
the disturbing cause is never wholly
absent. This form is characterized BY
copious eXpectoration. As chronic
bronchitis is seldom fully relieved so
it is with the asthma, of which it is the
resulting cause.
A hope of cure depends largely ON
the age. A child OF ten is likely to
outgrow it; q person of twenty may,
one in middle life probably will find il
chronic 1t is regarded quite favorable
If the attacks are light, or the intervals
long between them. or if, in tSe inter-
walls. the breathing is free and natural.
As to treatment, what helps one may
not another. To some all remedies
are alike poweriess.
The main remedies are such as pro-
duce nausea (depressants). such a.
render the nervous system less impress
sible (sedatIves), and stimulants- o.
the first are ipecacuanha, tobacco and
lobelia. They should only cause nau-
sea without vomiting. keeping up tho
nausea until the spasm is relieved.
Other popular remedies are smoking
stramonium and nitre paper (made By
dipping blotting- paper in 3 saturated
solution Of saltpeter). This last ID
perhaps, the best. 1t often prevents An
attack at night to impregnate the ar a
the chamber with its fumes.
OF stimulants, coffee. strong as pas
sible, taken clear and on an empty
stomach. often gives full relief. Taksn
in the ordinary way il tends to indnca
an attack. Ioxtk's Cens2oaioH.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
THE DAIRY.

The average quantity of milk 70
CURED to produce one quart of cream
Is 10 quarts, the lowest range being
8 quarts and the highest Is quarts.
The average quantity of butter from
one quart of cream is 1906 ounces, the
lowest range in this case being 8 ounces
and the highest % ounces.-Boston
Globe.
Temperature exercises very consid-
cradle influence. not only on the guam
tity Of butter produced, but also on its
quality. During hot summer weather
the cream will gather more quickly than
in winter, aud the butter, whilst richer,
will be softer. Again, in cold weather
it will be often found almost impossible
under ordinary circumstances to pro-
duce butter. Lowering the tempera-
ture of the dairy in summer will, there
fore, retard somewhat the formation
Of the cream. but it will render the but
ter firmer; and, again, increasing the
temperature during cold weather will
have the effect of causing the butter
to come quicker and be of better quail
ity.
Inv temperature VI CTodtu. WHEN
put into the churn should be 52' to So,
and this will rise to So when butter
comes. At a higher temperature the
butter will be white and inferior. When
the entire milk is churned it must be
of a higher temperature than cream
when churning commences, say g or
TO- higher. Rapid churning also Injuries
the quality of the butter. Overchurning
is also prejudicial; the best medium
will be found to be when the churning,
regularly and steadily carried on. takes
from one-half hour to one hour to pro-
duce butter. Cream must also be sour,
or well ripened. in order to produce the
desired quantity and quality of butter.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
ElLlAL RESPECT.
A Sentiment Which Should be Inculcatea
Reii4iously.

| "A Senti"ent "nlcn SnOuiO De lnculcafe0
Reiixiously.
The Bible Revisers have not found
any reason to materially alter the
phrase of the Fifth Commandment
The duty of filial respect is still its
specific Injunction. And it would be
well if all the clergymen in the land
were to join in an effort to bring it es-
pecially to the attention of American
youth. 1t has come to be too easy a
matter to slip the parental leading
strings. The boy is released too soon
from control; is allowed too free access
to things that pertain to the man; is
suffered too frequently to sit in iudg-
ment upon the behests of those who, by
both the laws of man and nature, are
endowed with due authority over him.
We need something of revival of the
patriarchal dispensation. In too many
families is the command of the sire
Knocked by the child; in too many fam
lilies does the sire fail to exact strict
obedience. Public morals are suffering
in, consequence, and young faces
abound in our penitentiaries. The
reins of parental discipline need tight
ening. The boy should be made to feel
that ne is q minor until his majority.
His twenty-frst birthday shoald mark
q great event in his life. 1t j, not too
much to say that the average American
boy recognizes no special Significance in
the day. beyond the acquisition of the
right to vote. He should also feel
sense of Independent manhood and of
individual responsibility. But he does
not For too many years has he been
allowed to indulge his own desires, to
make light of fihal obligations, and to
respond freely to the temptations that
beset him. The Scriptural Injunction
should be literally obeyed. The child
SHOULD be compelled to realize his COM
plete subordination of self in the family
Human experience demonstrates clear
ly enough that there must be head to
every household, and that head accord
ed implicit obedience and careful re-
spect The boy should feel himself
constantly within the vision of the
parental eye. He should entertain a
positive fear of parental displessure,
and should be given all needed punish
ment for every infractiOn OF parental
rules. 1t was never so easy for the
young to familiarize themselves with
the WAYS of vice as at the present time,
and it therefore follows that there has
never been a tine when they should be
kept under so strong curb. No mat
ter though the curb may gall, it should
be stiffly held nevertheless. The parent
who ignores this duty. who does not
force, if need be, the obedience he has
the right to exact, is guilty of partic.pa-
ton in the evil doings of his child. He
can not free himself of responsibility.
The immortality of the times needs the
most vigorous methods of correction.
The reform of convicted criminals is
doubtless an important philanthropy.
but the restoration of the parental |
authority in ten thousand homes of the
land is . mere pressing necessity.-Cur-
rent.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
There is about $4,000. ooo invest,

There is about $4,000. 0Oo invested
in wild animals in the United States,
not including elephants. There are
sixty elephants in the United States.
ranging in price from IS, 900 to $40, 00'u
If an elephant is trained and aeclimated
it will bring $4,000. But those that
are stupid and can not be trained never
bring over eS. 900 or a, 900. IN Y. SUN
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

1t costs each Of the colleges, whose
crews participate in the annual boat
race on the Thames. about seven thou
sand dollars for the sport.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
FACE TO. FACE.
A Fact Related in Seven Well.
Told Fables.
BY r.. T.. FRANCILLON,

AUTHOR OF "a GREAT HEIREss," "QUITs
Ar LAST" "A REAL QUEEN" "EARLs
DIVE" ETC, ETC.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

The sunfiower craze is quite dead.
say the florists.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

who'll come to the gallows before
you've done. You re starved out. l sup
pose, and so-Patience, never let me
hear that wretched scapcgrace's name
again. could have forgiven him. if
he'd only had the spirit t. de for his
country, like a man. l was proud OF
him then. But now, never let me hear
his name. Oh, Diek-my boy-my
bovr
Father
And his father ran, and fell on his
neck. and kissed him. And, in rain of
tears. the cloud that had fallen over
him melted away.
But who shall say how Stephen a,d
Patience met when there were no eyes
but their own to see how? They had
much to tell; but it was soon told-for
the first time at least. since it wanted
telling over and over again. But there
WAS no need to tell the story for hun
Gred times n order to know that she
had yielded only to death and duty, and
that newell. he had been guilty once
of loss of faith, which she never had
been. The woman came out the win
ner IN that: as she has a way of VIM
ming. taking her ali rounl.
my darling! What could / think
when 1 saw you in church. and i will
about to Gomez"
That was all his defence; but it was
strong.
Dearest you should have disbelieved
your own eyes, as l would have disbe-
heved mine" answered she. 1t was
all her reply. but it was stronger still.
'.And have been too hate" said he.
'Oh, Patience, feel as if l had fallen
over precipice, and been saved by q
hairr'
'.And have let me be married to-
married. under your own eyes, if it bad
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-07-16

He has just returned with his second supply of Spring anu
Summer Conclusive evidence that he sells goods
and prices tina other house, which does not eple''
sh their stock but year.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-07-16
The silver A~sO iatiOn.

Some months ago the Nevada
Silver Association was orsani; e /.
1t counts among its members the
ahlest Silver advocates in the State
and is oficered by prominent min
ing men. Much good was expected
to result from this organization,
yet beyond the issuance "f one
pamphlet, the printing OF which
was done by the State, the associa-
ton has done nothing and is not
doing anythine. We are sn-p~i' e !!
at this indifference. When Con
gress again convenes the erect OF
this listlessness may be SEN t.
our great disadvantage. Agitate
the great question and change pop
ular opinion now while there is
time Reveille.
The Association oppears to have
exhausted itself at its first meeting.
Judging from the length of some
of the speeches and papers, the
silver men of Nevada gave us about
all they had to say, all at once.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-07-16
Use s.%a GIL WHY.

The Patron says: On a great
manv farms In this State, the
calves are expected to live on little
or noth,n. except kicks and blows.
l. is pretended to give them on, :
half IF the cow milk, but if they
get anything more than smell, it
ia because it is too much trouble to
choke them off at the time. The
mixer sits beside the COW with a
broken axe handle to keep the calf
of, which he does by whacking
the calf on the knees so that one
can hear the blows across two
acre corral. After the milking is
done the calves are turned into a
lot out Of which the grass has been
thoroughly tramped, and which is
called a pasture. BY noon all are
lying down in the slender shade of
q board fence, their backs nearly
clustering with the heat. When
they are brought in from the pas
ture ut night, their tails hang 70
enc side, and they walk as if they
we're foundered.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-07-16

I'VE, Us & Co" now in its sec
ond week in the Fifth Avenue The
a,er. Is a genuine. original out
burst of humor. 1t is one Of those
new things that now and then pop
I'D in the amusement line and
throws everything into real, gem
rrous, hearty laughter. There is
fan in it from beginning to end.
ard the Fun is mainly new. The
audience is constantly running UP
against an amusing surprise The
"n,ire performance is perfect ere
alton III its way perfect for the
,,nr,nse for which it was designed
1t is fortuitous, happy. gladstone
and satisfying all the way through
[. is quite the habit Of people who
90 to funny shows TO say after the
performance is over that there WIS
lot of fnoIi-hness in it. OF
course there was, hut don't the
world like fooli>hness? Don't reo-
pie crave it like they do refresh
ing cocktail, or cup OF TEA. or I
bottle If etferve>cing soda?
I'VE, Us & Co.. was written tx
anuse, aud it does amuse. 1t
anuses those in the orchestra as
we'll as those in the top gallery. 1t
is BROAD, humorous and delicately
humorous at turns. There are
many exquisite points il it the
most refined man or woman on
earth would heartily enjoy. There
is no plot to speak of, but there is
a sort of framework which is ar
tistically filed What is laid out
to be done is done well. The cast
is thoroughly competent one.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-07-16


! LONDON, July io.-i'ne Pal
Mall Gazette this afternoon, in re
Spouse to request TOR its opini n
~ to the nature Of the change IN
the present English Criminal Law
makes several important suggcs-
tions. 1t advocates first, Az az
dition to the Criminal Act, raising
| the age at which female children
may legally consent to sinful con-
duct, from thirteen years, the
present period, to sixteen; second,
the extension Of the law prohibit
ing soliciting to both sexes; third.
the denial of any additional power
over woman to the police that will
be aimed at the suppression of
crime, and not at the suppression
of vice, that is, complete legal lib
erty for voluntary immortality be
tween adults contracting on equal
terms, but the vigorous repression
of sexual criminality in all cases in
which the parties are under age, or
the elements of a full, free anu in
telligent consent are absent; fourth,
a greatly increased stringency in
the laws against prostitution.
The Gazette, in an editorial, COM
menting On the results Of the reve-
lations, declares that its trumpet
blast has reused the world. mo
word was raised yesterday in the
churches against U.s. continues
the paper, but all the forces
ct wicaedne.s in high places arr
arrayed against us. The Hon. W.
Il. Smith and son, processing tie
monopoly Of the news-stands on
the railway systems of ENGLAND.
have suppressed thei. sales Of the
Pail Nall Gazette. The Prince Of
Wales has stopped his paper, the
Right Hon. Mr.. Bentinck is posing
in Parliament IN the name Of an
OUTRAGED morality. and clamors
for extinction. The Gazette does
not take this inquiry to unearth
the vices Of the great, but if we are
driven to bay We will be compelled
by the action of our assailants to
speak out and snare not"
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-07-16
Caused BY q Rad Name.

White Pine county has $50, 600
six yer cent. bonds to dispose of
and Lander county $l6O.MlO Of the
same kind Of securities ; bu, with
money going begging in San Fran
cisco at 1 per cent 10 one seems
anxious to secure these Nevaia
bonds The direct cause Of this is
the senseIess huwis which have
teen made against Nevada ty
Elstprn papers. They have never
ceased to anuse this State whenever
they could fluid occasion and they
have invariably made it appear as
il all hands were in the poorhouse
and the Sheriff hal every thing in
his possession. We have been
called rotten boroush" until
people whe do not know lis imagine
US to be a set of cutthroats and
vampires. OF course all this has
Injured US very materially abroad
and people who are anxious to lend
money at good security are afraid
to touch anything in this State.
Still nothing better than the Lam
der county bones could ne offered.
They are perfectly safe and should
have been snapped up long arc and
no doubt would have been had it
not been for the silly and senseless
Iibels uttered against us by the
soody gnody frauds Of the East.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-07-16

This line justly boasts Of the most
modern rolling stock the best of horses
and most expert md careful drivers of
any stage line on the Coast. Je3
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-07-16

Passengers viii, be called for and dc.
livered tn anv part Of this citv; parcelS
and fr light to and fro y the Lake will
be delivered with desired promp;itude'