Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-12-17
An,nuruns department.
HOFFEYSTEIN,S PROHIBITION VEST.

HOFFENSTEIN'S PROHIBITION VEST.
Hoffenstein was angry because customer
had not been in the store for three hours
and turning to Herman he said, "Vat's de
matter NIT de pisiness to-day; We don't sell
noding, you know"
stein.'
'Vell," replied the old man, sharply,
show YOU exbects to haf any drade ven
YOU stays NIT de store all de time und blays
nit de flies. w don't you go out NIT de
sidewalk und dalk NIT de beople on boli-
tics und oder dings, und dell dem about de
goods vat We hat in de store, you know.
Dell dem dat We hat always on hand de Re-
publican overcoat und de Democrat shirt,
und everything vat you dinks will work up
de business you KNOW" and Hoffenstein
was on the point of giving Herman sting
ing lecture when man entered the store in
great hurry and said:
II want to see some of your thick vests,
as am in need of one. Be quick, please,
as I have to catch train to Atlanta in few
moments"
An idea flashed through Hoffenstein's fer.
tile mind, and winking at Herman to keep
his ears open, he said:
"All haf to say, my trent, vos dot hal
de vest vot will suit you better as any in de
town, und vot vos made shust expressly fol
beople vot goes to Atlanta. Here vos Won
uf dem," continued Hoffenstein, thrustlne
his hand into pile of clothing on the coun:
ter. 'yot YOU dinks uf dot as fine WOOL
article ?''
sit is an awfully rough-looking garment
remarked the customer, holding it up before
him, sand what is this in the back of it ?
By George! it looks like piece of old oil
skin coat had been sewed into it.. L don't
want to wear such a confounded looking
thing as that, and I'll 60 elsewhere and get
something decent"
AS he started to leave the store Hoffen-
stein grasped his arm and said:
ssShust vait leedle vile, my trent, und
dells YOU something," and then lowering
his voice whispered, "My frent dot vas
prohibition vest, und 1 haf patent on it,
und gets dem made expressly for beople
vot haf to 90 to Atlanta. Dot Oil skin V0t
YOU see in de pack vos bag vot holds Offer
dree bottles uf viskey, und Won't leak a
drop, you know. You don't can buy viskey
ven you was in Atlanta, but you can dake
it NIT you und haf it convenient vile you
travels, you know. If you don't give, it
away, und will act as an agent for de prohi-
bitioa vest, dells how you will make some
money" The stranger promised not to di-
yulge the secret, and Hoffenstein cOntin-
ued: even you goes to Atlanta you can sell
viskey on de streets at night for dwenty-
five cents drink, you know, und dere vas
a fortune in it, und no one finds it out, und
YOU become de most popular man in de
town. All vat you haf to do vas to dake
man to one side, und dell him If ne wants a
drink shust to suck de end uf de leetle tube
vat you puts in de top pocket uf your. vest,
und in less dan dree days all de boys, in DE
Atlanta will know how de ropes work, und
,,o,, n 10 piciposS Won knOW'
"By Jimmy, that is first class scheme" ,"
. said the customer, sand there is lots ofmOn-
ey in it. What is the price of the vest"
"Vell, de brice vas ten dollars but as you
will be de agent you can dake it along for
five dollars"
The customer cherfully paid the price
asked, and as Hoffenstein wrapped up the
vest he said, "Dot vas de best money-mak-
ing vest vat has efer been invented, und to
be confidential will say dot everyday l
gets bost-ofice orders for dem vests from
beople away up in Maine und Kansas und
.Iovay und order blaces, we're dey hat de
viskey law, und dey sells faster as not
waf1es, und ven you gets up dere in Atlanta
YOU deils de beople about Hoffenstein's pro-
hibition vest, und I gif you dwenty- per
cent. on all vat you sells, you know. I hat
a. factory working night und day making
dem vests, und l don't can supply the de-
mand. Dey vas regular gold mine, and
nefer see anyding like it you know"
The customerleft the store delighted with
his purchase. Hoffenstein turned to Her
man and said: "You see dat We always sells
cloding if We work de goods before de peo-
pie. Get dem vests vat de rats haf eat de
back out, und sew some uf dat oil skin vat
We hat und We makes boom on de prohibi-
tion vest you know"
And the old man smiled and rubbed his
hands as he thoughtof the boom and money
it would bring in.-Ne,0 Orleans States.