Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-07-19
A BOUNCING BABY.
The Remarkable Feat of Prac-
tical Journalist.
uumor only Allowable when u Is Based
on Fact-Au uniucky Item which Was
vigorously Rcscnted-A Vacuum In
Arkan-aw Journalism.
Ihrkansaw Traveller

Jim Gilling is n very smart young man.
He was graduated at a practical school of
| journalism where the shrowd art of the
reporter instead of tho majestic diction OF
Greece is taught. Hc was so highly roc-
ommendel that he soon secured IA situa
tion on the DlHy HeSpcrita, newspaper
| which finds its way INTO the most refined
circles of society. Gilling's only fault Is
his love of tho humorous. The time he
should have spent in reading the amuse-
mcnt departments OF our leading maga-
zines, was devoted to Huxley and Darwin.
Many of his friends regretted that his
mind had taken such a light turn, but his
parents consoled themselves with the
thought that he might make his blitho
fancics yield "A handsome income
Colonel SPOTS, editor and proprietor Of
the Hcsperidn, believed not in tho harm
less deception of n joke His iden was
to fill up his paper with gloomy reading
matter, clipping, therefore, much matter
from the humorous papers OF the East
One day he said to the new man.
"Mr. Gilling, you must understand, sir,
that every joke which goes into my paper
must have foundation OF fact Hurnor
, il the statue but fact is the PEDESTAL Re-
member this-thiuk of it. Whenever you
| think of joke see that it is sustained by
a fact that can not be disputed"
Gilling pondorol over these sage res
| marks He recognized thoir truth aud was
determined to follow them even to the
last letter of the alphabet Tho next day
n glorious oppor unity was afforded him.
This is what he wrote:
"A bouncing baby has arrived at the
house of Judge Gates"
"Ah," he muscd, when he looked at the
item, "no one can see the humor there lies
| concealed n this joke, and the beauty of
| 1t is, it has a foundation of fact When
| explain 1t to the Judge, he will nearly kill
| himself laughing. Talk to mo about schools
of journalism, why, thcy will, after
' while, take possession of the newspaper
I business of the land"
| All dav long he was tickled, and at
night when he saw the proof of tho item,
he stepped behind door and laughed un-
til n file of newspapers that hung above
| his head shook as though stirred by
breeze He did not intend that the Col
onel should see the item, but the old man
| did see it.
"Here, Gilling."
"Ycs sir"
"What do you mean by this"
at is fact, SIR"
"Impossible."
"No, sir, it is true"
at can't be, Glling. Mrs. Gates is near
ly seventy years old. She has grown
grand children"
at is fact, sir, and I'll swear to it."
"Well we'll or course ! can not dis.
pute your oath. Say, suppose you make
more of the notice. Such an occurrence is
unprecedented-hut hold on. will write
an editorial on it, zounds, what an OPP
portunity it gives me- How we'll scoop
the other papers"
The Colonel, in the hurry of pleasurahle
excitement, took not the time to iuvcsti-
gate the matter, but proceed d with his
editorial. His pen moved over the paper
almost as rapidly as the theatrical hand
when it writes: "When your eye falls
upon this l will be far away"
Gilling sat on the back stairs and
laughed until he thought that he would
surely die. "Ill teach him what n fact
is" he said Oh, er haw, haw! oh, ter
he, he"
Judge Gates Is one OF the jud Cos Of the
Supreme Court. He doesn't mind taking
joke when it is prepared with pine-ap-
pleisyrup and mint, but raw and rugged
joke always startles him. When he read
the itcm and tho editorial, he tangled his
hands in his venerable hair. He was Sc
mad that he forgot to take his morning
drink. Selling a walking cane that had
in days long $past supported the gouty
legs of honored and well-fed ancestors,
he hurried toward the Hesperian office.
He had not proceeded far when promi-
nent lawyer, seeing him, shouted.
"Hoid on, Judge, and allow me to con-
gratulate you"
"Stay where you are," exclaimed the
Judge. "lf you don't want to get hurt,
don't come near me-"
Reaching tho Hesperidn office the Judge
dashed into the editorial room and finding
the Colonel, was 80 nfuriated that for
time he could not speak
"Ah, Judge" said the Colonel, "let me
| congratulate you. Want u hundred or so
extra copies, reckony"
~ have come here to beat the life out of
your" roared the Judge.
"Why, my dear sir"
"Don't you ca II me dear sir. You infer.
| nal old liar!
WASN'T that item true. siry Wasn't Il
true"
"No, it's base lie and l want an ex-
| planation, or III have blood"
"You shall have both. Here, Gilling."
Gilling came m, wearing broad smile.
"Don't be excited, Judgo. When l ex.
plain this, you willInvite me out to have
| a drink. Yesterday saw a mau leave an
India rubber doll at your house, and il an
India rubber doll amt bouncing baby,
| l don't know what it Is. Now" but the
Judge had knocked him down.