Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1885-10-22
Law COURT FUN.



and tfe Witness.
Anyone interested in the pecuIiarities
Of his fellcw-map must needs find him
strikingly exempliied in courts Of ius-
tice, says Chambers Journal, and the
Judge Or barrister or any other person Of
discrimination who has arrived at an old
age in the service of law court must
possess clear insight into the traits and
peculiaritIes ofmankind.
Nothing is 90 much appreciated in a
court of justice as fun, and it is prin-
cipally this aspect Of the question that
this paper intends to deal with. IA ready
reply or cutting sarcasm is sometimes
used as weapon. of defense by a wit
ness Occasionally, even in the most
unimportant case, he will be cross
examined by the opposing counsel to
such an extent that unless he be clear
headed and thinking person he will be
liable to commit hsmself. This is one
OF the aims Of counseI-to confuse the
witness and constantly remind them
that they are on oath. Some indulge in
the latter practice to an insufferable ex-
tent. O'Connell was conspicuous for his
powers of examination, and of following
up, # possible, any part of the evidence
the witness endeayored to evade. During
a Munster circuit he was engaged in a
case where tie question was the validity
OF will, BY which property to some
amount was devised, but which the plain
tits alleged was forged. O'Connell
nohced that the subscribing witness
during examination swore that s'the tes-
tator signed the will while life was in
him. I" Suspecting something, he asked
the witness: "Was it not that live f1v
was in the dead mans mouth while his
hand was placed on the will2" The wit
ness, through fear, actually confessed
that this was the case.
A barrister named Missing was defend
ing prisoner charged with stealing a
donkey, and was severe in his examina-
ton of the witness. The case was that
the prosecutor had left the donkey tied
to gate, and on returning it was gone.
do you mean to say, witness" said
Missing, ''the donkey was stolen?n II
mean to say, sir, was the reply, s'that
the ass was missing"
A witness may be obstructive. and
give barrister great trouble in refusing
to answer questions put to him; but this
method Of procedure is not SO effective as
quick, sharp aud ready repartee.
An eminent English architect was be-
ing examined by counsel, who was using
fhe wItnsss opinion.
'You are builder, l believe. 7"
mo, sir, I am not builder; am an
"
"Ah, well, builder or architect, arch
itect or builder-they are pretty much
the same, supposed"
81 beg your pardon; they are totally
"Oh, indeed Perhaps you would
state wherein this great difference con-
sists."
San architect conceives the design,
prepares the plan, draws out the specif-
tion-in short supplies the mind. The
builder is merely the machine, the
power that puts the machine together
and sets it going"
ooh, very well, Mr.. Architect; that
will do. A very ingenious distinction,
without difference. Do you happen
to know who was the architect of the
tower of Babela'
s'There was no architect, sir-hence
the confusion"
(Which way did the stairs RUM"
witness was once asked, and his reply
was 'sthat depended on circumstances.
II you are at the bottom. they run up,
but if you are on the top they run
down."
Curran was examining a witness, and
falling to get direct answer, ''There is
no use in asking you questions, for see
the villain in your face"
'Do you, sir2" said the man, with
smile. ''Faix, never knew my face
was looking glass before"
Prisoner at the barr said a judge,
''is there anything you would wish to
say before sentence IS passed upon youl"
The prisoner looked toward the door,
and remarked that he would like to say
"Good evening" if it was agreeable to
the company.
Some judges have been remarkable for
their wit in giving decisions and for
their eccentricity on the bench. Lords
Ellenborough and Mansfield were notable
examples The latter judge once gave
encouragement to young barrister who
had forgotten the speech he probably
committed to memory. 'The unfortun-
ate client who appears by me, " he began,
''the unfortunate client who appears by
me-my lord, my unfortunate client
''You can go on, sir, said the judge,
in an encouraging tone; $50 far the court
is entirely with you"
One of the most noted criminal law
yers in the country, while pleading the
case of his client, is often overcome by
his innocence and wrongs, and is obliged
to sit down and recover himself. ssDon't
you think, said Judge to him, that