The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-03-20
pbeIau Geoheagan on Dynamiters.

several days past, and the little saloon
up in Doolittle Alley was doing a big
business. The usual crowd was there,
and eyary one wanted something to
warm them up. Phelan Geoheagan
was there too, and having entirely re-
covered from his rheumatism, he was
unusually jolly, and everybody seemed
to be happy.
81 say, Geoheagan, fhwat dye think
av the explosions that tux place the
other day over in London?" said Den
mis- McTosy, as he filled his pipe.
"Now, Denny" said Phelan, ''fhwat
would We be afher having me sayP Ye
know very well that | don't sympa-
thize with the dynamiters. an as siv-
eral av me frinds who are prisent do,
me words would be apt to create hard
feelings"
go on, Phelan," said Dennis,
'.ivery mon knows that ye are square,
an would spake the truth in spite av
the divel"
Every will, thin," said Phelan, "if
We are bound to know me opinion av
the London outrage, have no objec-
ton to stating thin. In the furst
place, suppose that We, Dennis, was an
| honest man, who never did anybody
any wrong, an We happened to be go
ing through wan av' the public build
inSs in London, wud We think it jist
the proper thing eff an explosion tux
place, an blowed yer body in five hum
bred different directions, jest because
yer great uncle was name to the Irish
people? No, sir, We wud kick loike
thunder, an want every dynamiter in
the country sthrung up to the nearest
| lamp-post.
"Well, it's the same way with the
English people. Their wives an chill
dren are in constant danger av being
blown up; an now that they've caught
Cunningham, they ought to turn him
over to the hangman. If l had my
wav about it, would have O'Donovan
Rosa meet Queen Victoria in Cuba,
or some other place, an foight it out
betune themselves with hard gloves.
MARQUIS av Queensberry rules. That
would settle the whole business, an
save lots av money an bloodshed."
THAT is quare way for an Irish
man to talk, I'm afhter thinking
said Dennis McTosy, IAN it's lucky
for We, Phelan Geoheagan, that ye are
among yer friends, or the devil only
knows whittier We would get out with
out a cracked skull or not"
"Will, Dennis. me boy, its jist this
way. Whin was yer age, l was jist
as hot-blooded as We are, but wan day
il got me into throuble, an ever since
thin 1 have been perfectly continted to
moind ME own business. Wan day as
| walked along the sthreet, ] sthopped
to look at the pictures in the papers
hanging up in the window av a book
sthore. Among thin was wan repre-
shifting lot av Irishmen as monkeys
When | sot me blooming eyes on
that dirty, insulting pichture, me Irish
blood warmed up to the boiling pint,
an [ was that mad that | could av
kicked me own father. For momint
| was undecided fhwat to do, but pris-
emily voice samed to say, 'Phelan
Geohagen don't sthand by an see yer
conthrymen insulted.' | didn 't-but
it wasn't very long before l wished
that had. Whin heard the voice a
whispering in me ear, | waltzed into
that sthore an ripped all av the pa
pers an pichtures from its walls. In
me haste, gintlemen, l didn't notice
that the proprietor was big six
eooter, but he noticed me. He grabbed
me by the scruff av me pants, an
without asking any explanation, or
speaking a blissed worrud, he COM
menced playing fut-ball with me pur-
son. Fur about twinty minutes he
threw me up against the wall, an
kicked me when / came down. Oh!
cintlemen, We should have seen me
Whin l landed in the sthreet! Both
me ewes wuz as black as the ace av
SPADES, an in fact, there wasn't the
space av billy-goat's whiskers on me
whole body that wasn't the same color.
They carried ME to the police-station
in an exphress wagon, an it tux four
policemen to hould me vile the docthor
set me broken ribs. While l was laid
M, an me bones was n growing
tooither vance more, took a solemn
VOW that niver agin wud / thry to run
ANYBODY else's business; an from that
day to this me feelings have niver got
the Dist av me. l don't want you to
think gintlemen, that | wouldn't loike
TO see ould Ireland free agin, fur that
is not so. 1t is the way our payple
have av carrying on their warfare
that | object to. | will tell we wan
thing, though, if liver l see that howl
inc terrier that smote me on the ind
av' me spine with his fut, whin he fired
me out av his sthore, walking pasht
building that am ut worruk on, be
me soul, I'll dump hodful av bricks
on his head"
Michael O'Rourke at this time re-
membered that the glasses had been
empty for some time, and said: "Frinds,
let us drink to the success av' our
cause, and to the health av Phelan
Geoheagan, who, although he doesn't
believe in our using dynamite, has
heart concealed about his purson as
big an as warm as roast av beef
Pecks San.