The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1885-04-30
The Political kaleidoscope.

QUEER ANSWERS TO CIVIL SERVICE QUERIES.
There are some ing and edifying things
developed now and then through the evolu-
tions of the civil service machinery.
AS an instance of the uncertainty attending
the estimate of an applicants capacity and fit
ness from the result OF the examination, may
mention that case has been exploited here, as
follows lady from Illinois was an appli-
cant under the civil service rules for a place in
the departments. She passed her examination
with brilliant success. She answered all the
wonderful questions, such as elbow many hairs
are there on dog?" and ''How many times
will four quarts of benzne go into two men,
and what will be the resut"' and rs it against
the law for man to marry his widows sster?'
and "Did Judas lscariot ever have the measles,
and if so, how many?" and such other bloom
ing evidences of brain softening, and made
percentage of ninety-ive.
The next day she wrote the following note to
friend: "4o received; come over; | want
to tell you how well done at the examination"
To the question, "What is vacuum:' one
of he written answers in a recent examination
was, "A vacuum is an empty space without
anything in it," To the question, "What Is
the geology of West Vrgina?' one reply was
Rough To the question, "What is a writ
of habeas corpus?" one reply was written, "It
is an act to take dead body out of prison."
describe the compass and its USE elected
the following luminous answer: "a compass
is a round circular box, standing on three
leggedtripod which always points to the north"
A while ago the question "How far is the
sun from the earth?" was found to have been
thus answered on one of the impatient victims
papers, ~ don't know; but it's 50 id far it
Will never interfere with my performing my
duties If am appointed"
SOME SHARP SAYINGS.
Minister Phelps, in addition to other equip
ments for the English mission, has coat-of-
arms from which the rust of centuries can be
rubbed off. and the thing FURNISHED up to dazzle
the eyes of the English aristocracy.
The opening of the circus season brings out
the fact that there are sixty elephants in this
country, not counting the one that the Demo-
cratic party has on its hands in the person of
President who can neither be coaXed nor COM
PEELED to perform the tricks expected of him.
The efforts of certain Democratic organs to
appear satisfied with the reappontment of
Pearson recalls the case of the Confederate
soldier whom Gen. Lee found eating green
persimmons, and asked him if he did not know
they Were unfit for food. "Fm not eating
them for food" the man replied. "Im eating
them TO draw up my stomach to fit my rations."
The specks or beads which float before the
eyes are due to the slight defects in the tissues
and fluids, but are not necessarily symptom of
disease. But the Democrats hanging around
Washington, who have offices floating before
their vision find that the long-continued optical
illusion is affecting heir stomachs with a sort
of longing disorder, commonly known as hun
ger.
The President is said to be anxious to visit
the South for the reason that he has never seen
that part of the country. But he has never
seen the West either; and judging from his
appointments, he seems to have derived his
notions of its political and industrial import
ance from an accidental perusal of the books of
the early Catholic missionaries.
Secretary Manning has had an expert at
work for IA month on the Treasury books and
the only result has been tC show how scandal
ously Hendricks lied last summer when he
went about the country declaring that the
Republicans had surplus of $500. 900 900
'locked up" in an idle and useless way. The
true surplus, with all Obligations taken into ac-
count. is shown to be only about 81 900 900.
"PATRIoTs" PATHETIC LAMENT.
AS the days go by and the appointments con-
tinue to come in, the undemocratic character
of this administration becomes more evident
There is an eXclu>veness and snobbi>hness
about it that even Arthur's admnisra ion
lacked. There is a sugsestiveness of kid gloves
and Old family about the developments The
boys" and the horny y-handed ward workers and
torch carriers do not appear to stand much
show. The appointments and condolences 70
haiSeiN W iHe olet ltlio"s " no are III 7socletS,
and who are able to wear spike-tail coat and
show a family tree. There is great deal of
this and it evolves its Whitneys, and Bayard>.
and PendIetons, and McLanes, and Jacksons,
ana Hays, ana Phelps, etc. am not flndng
lauit win ms tendency. l am only making
pa nh f 49,, " - !" VIZ XIX
blood and JnZzlino hiyb soriptv and eynherant
aristocracv and plenIifu wealth and crest ID
jay hawk character of this plain and simple and
Jttfersonian administration that makes the rug
gfd personality Of Brother Higgins stick out
IKE PINK Wart on Roman nose. Washing
BAYARp IN BLAINE's FOOTSTEPS,
Nou N p.,-..r, bos. fa,,, i ,,o..o,.,, ia
~, ,,t,t pI! ~! " = ~, ~ % ~ -, " .t.. ~ . W
,1i ,t.t liu' n u. no n"S no.alneu
t l't't 'not nne '" ~, ny .t " -,''i -
na| h io,o f s'n ~ w li.
ANA W., ava raaIi tb"o f,rai ai; Ili
!, ~ 10 tt.'t .u
having any dislike of this foreign policy. have
always believed in it, We ought to have the
force of arms to impress our lust views on
these minor Republics The limited StateS
ought to build the ship canal across Nicaragua
The reason that Guatemala announces the nee
esslty of a great Central American Republic is
that she and her boss, whose name is Barrios
want to steal some of the money the Americans
are expected to spend in that canal. Mr.. Bay
ard VIII have to drop good deal Of his gas
cohaue ana beleVe III material things. Ills
only salvation as our Secretary OF Slate Is to
iiiahc W N.Y. al lnnuGh'r ~ ths country IN
little Republics Which hive been drIu1rd ~
ourselves and by Europe ever since rh4y
esraped from the fhrottIe nf Sn.in fG.tb
nnn.,, .>.,l ,,-,,,,,,
r., 49,
Inc latest volume OF MebD Rogers poems Is
dedicated TO Augustus ii. Garland, Americas
greatest lawyer" one OF the gems disposes OF
zen. Sherman as follows;
Then 90. Tecumseh, creep into YOUR grave;
jeff Davis lives. though knayes and towards
rave,
Not a dead lion but the brayest of the brave!
-A " ~ '"0 oii' muse III oohlo S"eeee'ihS
Shall brand YOUR life on less than half a page.
jeff Davis name will shine the polar star.
oae,9i ,, W lsh'' "lLh ~! vachSoh, Lee Lunar
"te"' t".on' vi 'no ueep lol fieeuoIh lh"i /
her'
hnyiuo nl.rpd several thnnsand n.maI an ia
voting jst,. much to The Inv Of lhe Demorratjc
tiIy rommit1re the orGan of the cnmmi1tea
Tie Reu,,hIir inns tnrnsif hark I,non H. ,lles
who are these Mugwump people, pa,
OF whom some folks speak highly?"
My SON. they are the lah-de-uah,'
The sire responded dryy;
AID .tr,nun inf,rnottion
Now think berause thev talk. they RIM
The whole administration :"
There is said TO he great deal of INDIGNATION