The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-09-27
WHIMSICALITIES.
Monkeying with the May.

mOnKeylnS With tue NkaZys
Written for the Journal by Bill Nye-[Copyrighted.l
Very soon, now. I shall be strong enough my
cyc3onic leg to resume my lessons in waltzing
1t is needless to say that l look forward with
great pleasure to that moment Nature in
tended that should glide in the may TALL
1.-THE, bald headed, genial, timber in the extreme,
suave, soulful, frolicsome at times, yet dignifed
and reserved toward strangers, light on the
foot-on my own foot Imean-gentle as woman
at times, yet irresistible as tornado when in
suited by a smaller man, l am peculiarly
fitted to shine in society. Those who have OBJ
served my polished brow under strong cleo
trio light say that they never saw man shine
so in society as do.
had just learned how to reel around ball
room to little waltz music, when / was blown
across the State of Mississippi in September last,
by high wind, and broke one of my legs which
| use in Waiting. When this accident
Cured | had just got whereI felt at liberty
to. choose a glorious being with starry eyes,
and fluffy hair and magnifcentiy nodded form,
to steer me around the rink to the dreamy
music of Strauss One young lady with whom
had waltzed good deal, when she heard that
my leg was broke ,egan to attend every dane
ing party she could hear of, although she had
declined great many previous to that 1 asked
her how she could be so giddy and so gay while
was suffering She said che was doing it to
drown her sorrow, but her little brother told
me, on the quiet, that she was dancing while
was sick, because she felt perfectly safe.
My wife taught me how to waltz. She would
teach me on Saturdays and repair her skirts
during the following week. / told her once that
l thought was too brainy to dance. She said
she hadn't noticed that, but she thought seemed
to run too much to legs. My wife is not timid
about telling me anything that she thinks will
be for my good. When I make mistake she is
perfectly frank with me- and comes right to me
and tells about it, so that won't do so again.
friend of mine says I have pronounced
and distinctly original manner Of Waiting, and
that he never saw anybody, with one exception,
who waltzed as did, and that was Jumbo. He
claimed that either one of us would be good
dancer if ne could have the whole ring to him
self. He said that he would like to see Jumbo
and me waltz together, if he were not afraid that
l would step Jumbo and hurt him. You can
what feeling of jealous hatred it arouses in
some small minds when q man gets so that he
can mingle in good society and enjoy himself.
could waltz more easily if the rules did not
require such constant change of position. /
am sedentary In my nature, slow to move about,
so that 1T takes a lady of great strength Of pur-
pose to pull me around on time. l had part
ner once who said l was very easy to waltz with
She moved about with wonderful ease. and
poetic motion that made my legs stand oct at an
angle Of forty-fve degrees, when turned tho
corners. She told me to trust her implicitly, and
she would see that got around on time. My feet
only touched the floor three times during the
Dance and one has been little longer
than the other ever since that time.
Most of the other dancers left the
floor and watched us with great interest. Final
ly asked her if she didn't want to sit down and
fan herself till / could get her a glass of water
She said no. she didn't feel fatigued at all, and
then proceeded TO whirl me around some more
1t makes me shudder yet to think of it, Every
time the old bass viol would '!zzzt zzzt, zzzt,"
she would scrunch my shoulder blades together
and swing me around like wet rag. | then
asked her if she would not be kind enough to
take me home to my parents l looked her in
the eyes and begged, her to remember her
father. He, too, was man. 'Ah,' said |, do
not take advantage of your great strength. Per-
haps you have brother. How would you like
to have him fall into the hands of a strong
woman and be kidnapped so that you would not
see his dear face again2'
She then relented and led me to seat. told
her that my friend who he'd introduced US had
not pronounced her name distinctly; might ask
her once more. so that could some day dance
again She smiled joyously and gave me a
large, stiff, thick, blue card, and left the ROOM
1t read as follows: