The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1885-02-17

X. ]. Burdcttc has quit the Burling-
ton HdDkcyc. to which he has lent
much yiyacity for many year. re-
member once hearing him tell how he
got to joking in print. He was local
editor Of the Peoria Transcript. He
had to ill two columns day. IL was
hard work. Dog fights were scarce and
human beings were disgustingly sober
and caceable. His page was dull.
At home was his wife III Of the dis
ease Of which she finally died. and TO
cheer her up he stayed at home an hour
or two at Don and wrote imaginary
local events Of an exciting nature and
read them to her They were gro sly
improbable and funny. They did not
have facilitating effect on her, but
actually made her laugh. and one day
she sad; Robbie this ridiculous stuff Of
yours is bad enough to print Having
seen that ] survive II why don't you try
IL on your readersp"
lie cautiously did so. dealing it out
in small doses. II was copied every
where. remember copying some OF
the idiocy myself away up in Minneso-
Ia. This had been going on for fort
night, maybe, when one day Mr.. Emory,
editor of the paper, sent to Robert re-
questing him to come to his private
room. "Ahar' said Robert, rubbing
his hands and glowing from stem TO
stern, I've fetched him! I've fetched
him! He's going to raise my salary"
'Mr. Burdettc,n said Mr.. Emory,
when the audacious youth was seated,
1.-TWO lunatics escaped from tho asylum
last week, ! believer
Eyes, sir; yes two-but one OF them
was captured.
Zone was captured" said the editor,
thoughtfully. ''one-only one. What
became of the other, MIR. Burdettep"
''He hasn't been found yet, answered
the jocose youth; they're securing the
woods for him."
as 1t not possible that lie may be
secreted about the building somewhere
In your room for instancep"
'Why, no, Mr.. Emory What put
such an idea Into your headP"
Have you among your friends any
body who is driye.ling idiot, Mr.. Bur-
detteP"
mo, sir, no, oh, no. sir think notl'
protested the youth, moving uneasily in
his chair.
"Who might get into the Office and
insert articles without your knowledge
in your long absence at dinner, for
instancep'
"oh, no, Mr.. Emory, no; why do
you askP"
II met an intoxicated man the 9th
er night going down the stairs. Who
was itP''
II don't know, indeod," caid Bur-
dctte. 1--WE had just bounced him."
'Did he write anything for the pa
per clandestinely and surrepttiously
while he was her P'' persisted the edi-
tor.
"Why no, of course; see everything
that goes in this page
well then. Mr. Burdctte, who is 1t
that makes those sckly attempts to be
funny that $ G in your columns every
dayP"
Burdette blushod, rubbed some dirt
of his left pantalooas leg with his right
boot, and said: " Really, Mr.. Emory,
I--you see-I hardly well-the fact is
there's nothing avariciou' about me,
Mr.. Emory, but / shall have to claim
those myself
ing surprise. "YouP Well, don't do so
any more. They make me melancholy.
They are dreadful lugubrious. They
seemed to have emanated from a wreck
ed brain You can go to your room,
Mr.. Burdette. ! wouldn't have thought
ii of you. Don't do so any more II
there's myth & funny TO Dc written,
I'll write it myself"
Burdctte went hone all broke up.
He resigned next day and crossed the
Mis'iss ppi Il left" says the humor-
list, "bccausc, sincerely, couldn't look
him in the face after that. had been
caught in the act and felt like a guilty
thing! CroGm IN Kansas CITY jour
nal.