Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-07-31
PITHY PARAGRAPHS.

P1THY PARAGRAPHS.
Although Boston is noted for its crook
ed streets, she has none to compare with
Wall street in that respect. Boston Post.
The least Il clergymen on II vacation can
do is to stay away from fashionable water
ing places, the YanitieS Of which should
not be encouraged.-NC orleans Picuy-
UnC.
President Cleveland did not fish on Sun
day last but he told a dozen fish stories to
his companions which came very near
fracturing one of the commandments
ET.
Minister Phelps's accomplishments are
now increased by the allegation that he
is one of the best small-game shots Amer
lea ever has sent over the Atlantic. Pro
badly some correspondent has seen him
pepper his birds at Il London CLUB dinner
". Y. IFoHd.
In other words, There is opposition TO
should be, and-let us wait and see what
comes of it. Is the Phrnir right in think
ing this is what Governor Smiths express
sion sounds l<e,-BrottlcborO PhUnir.
1t must be admitted that many good
working Democrats i'll this State, rs well
as other States of the Union, are not very
we'll pleased with the way things are 60
ing in Washington. Perhaps they will be
in Il better humor by next November. Let
US earnestly hope so.-N. Y. FOrd.
Hiram Atkins and Brad Smalley of
Vermont might make their everlasting
/ fortune if they would only divulge their
recipe for securing appointments. AS
many as twenty-five good sound Demo
Gratis were given postmasterships in the
Green Mountain State yesterday .-Bostoh
| Globe.
/ After looking upon the vacancy at Vas
sar college, the Buffalo Express turns to
Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland and says :
Thou art the man The ErprcSs is
right to this eXtent-the president of the
woman's college at Poughkeepsie ought
to be a woman.-Sprinateld Rcpublicun.
/ 1t Is quite probable that Mormonism
will be wiped out in the same way as was
its twin relic. "-BOStOn TrdrCllcr.
Watering places show faded old girls
/ who are just hanging on to society by
their teeth, which are false, and liable to
drop them otf.-N. Y. PicdUinC.
Russia's policy in Central Asia seems to
be embraced i'll three current phrases
Don't mind me I'm all right mind your
own business.-N. y. Mail 0ltd Express.
The Prince of Wales has discontinued
all his daily papers deeming them unfit
for general perusal. more especially for
the general perusal of the family of Il man
/ whose debaucheries are limited at in every
other column. This torethought on .he
part of Albert Edward will endear him
to the people of Great Britain more than
ever.-Chicngo Hcruld.
The Russian crop prospects continue dis
couraging, but the Car need not be at all
alarmed about il so long as his cash pros
poets hold out. We have the grain and
will gladly exchange with hlm.-TrOy
Tccgdm
1t is an unexplained fact in human ma
ture that whenever two men meet in suc!.
weather as this each is at the trouble to
inform the other that we have another
scorcher," as if each distrusted the capa-
city of the other to observe the state of
the weather for himself.-N. Y. CONNER
Ciul 1drCrtiSCr.
Baltimore boasts of reporters ''who have
fortunes of million, always use their
own coupes or hire hacks when they go
out on assignments, and have different
suits of clothes for every day in the
month" Judging from the Baltimore
newspapers, the reporters spend their
time riding in their coupes and changing
their clothes.
The mistake of Odlum, who jumped
from the East River bridge was in intend
ing to save himself, Had he jumped with
"A suicidal purpose he would have come
out all right, Two Jumps have been made
with that purpose since his death-one OF
r them bya woman, who jumped from the
highest suspension bridge in England int
the Avon and in both cases the Jumpers
, escaped. The woman had three offers OF
, marriage before Sne came out OF the hos
pital.-DetrOit Free Press.
So long as John Roach was supposed t.
, be worth several millions of dollars the
American people were disposed to max,
merry over his fancied shrewdness. Now
that the old man, after a long and usefu
career, acknowledges that red-tape anC
4 the navy department have been too mucl
' for him there is universal feeling o
y sympathy. American ship building owe
| much to John Roach, American manhood
= more He carved his way to fame anC
e fortune from being IA poor boy He is go
| ing TO be put on his feet again if it takes
g all summer.-N. Y. journal.
n If newspaper We're less reputable, les,
+ responsible or less wealthy than the Pdl
+ MdU gazette, it might be charged agans
it that the exposure was made only for thu
: purpose of creating IL furore and sellin!
papers, but no such motive can be attri
buted to the gazette, which is not onl,
II immensely rich, but is eminently respec
e table and heightened. In exposing tn,
h sinful practices of the British capital, il il
$ working in the interests of morality.
y is not pandering to the vile tastes of
+ vulgar public, but is lifting the veil whicl
c hides from the eyes of decent people tn
l. moral rottenness that exists around them
: in the hope that the evil will be cure,
/ through its eXposure-Sdt Lake HCrdld
KNOW THYSELF, by reading the "Sci