Mexico weekly ledger., 1885-12-03
SAM'S SLUNG SHOT.
Gems From Sam Jones' Sermons Last
Week In st. Louis.
A CHANCE FOR THE KIDS.

Week In st. Louis.
A CHANCE FOR THE KIDS.
l have the profoundest contempt
for those Colonels and Majors and
Judges who grace our curbstones
and saloons. They have nothing to
commend them to God but their
money and their means. If there is
anybody want to see go to heaven
it Is poor white folks and niggers.
AsoBER LAMP POST.
If negative goodness was religion,
then one of these lamp posts out here
would be the hest Christian in town /;
it never cursed, nor swore, nor drank
a drop since it was made; it never
did anything wrong.
HARD ON BOB.
l never uttered sentence in my
life to prove that the Bible was true.
I never spent five minutes in my life
trying to prove there was hell.
never spent fifteen seconds in the
pulpit in my life trying to prove
there is God. Nobody but a fool
needs such argument.
DRUNKEN CHRISTIANITY.
I tell you I hate this thing you
call drunkenness, and no man hates
it more than do, but | had rather
have a member of the church who
would get drunk every 3 or 4 months
but would work when he was sober
and do his level best, than one o.
these sober fellows that amt any ac
count anyhow, that might just az
we'll be drunk or just as well be dead
| PROGRESSIVE EUCHRE DAMNED.
| And say another thing. Their,
is no progressive euehre player il
this house that ought not to be in
dicted for violating the laws of Mis-
souri, and be put in one of the Jail
OF this county. How do you lik
that? 1t is just gambling scientifical
ly, magnificently, glorlously, socially
and so forth. That's what it is.
AWAY FROM HOME.
There is many a fellow that is
good Christian in st. Louis, but if b
were to wear an indicator when b
went to New York, when he got bac
: his wife would quit him in my candl
; judgment.
RED LICKER AND THE CHURCH.
Red liquor and Christianity won
stay in the same hide at the sam
, time.
A THEORETICAL INFIDEL.
While Bob Ingersoll is a sort {
theoretical infidel, that gets 81, 800
night for being one, and you bac
r here, like fool, are one for nothin
5 and board yourself.
GODS ELECTED.
You all do the cooperating an
God will do the indorsing, and the
we will be elected by large majorit.
ST PAUL CRANK
And if st. Paul was to preach
St, Louis to-day, he would be tell
graphed all over America as tt
!, greatest religious fanatic that eve
made a crack in this country.
J SAW A sPooK.
I got good square look at myse
sixteen years ago, and 1 have though
+ more of every niger 1 met sine
, than ! do of myself.
= RATTLE THE DRY BONES.
I While 1 am here in ST. Louis, Go
Almighty helping me, I'll give til
old town an airing before l leave he
i WARNING TO THE DECENT.
Now, all the decent people ougl
0 to be out of town during the airin
= but it's going to be odoriferou
), You can put that down.
o DANCING IN THE DARK.
oI Go into a ballroom with yo1
Christian light. 1t will go out.
won't burn there.
O. NUT FOR DIR. TUDOR.
r If DR.. Tudor has dancing, theate
&. going, goddess, members it is his ov
;, fault, and God will hold him respo
Al sible for it. 1 would not have th
sort of cattle in my church fort
- eight hours.
Il SAW SHOW.
Put the Lord Jesus Christ by y
N in theater and see how he looks
d certain things said in that theate
v. and there are Methodists in Il
IN house, and members in all t
d churches that patronize those plac
I'll and if they were to go into your p
,e lor the next day and say the thin
they heard there the night beft
you would kick them over your frt
1e gate.
"a A MoRTGAGED NOSE.
m And there are women in st. Lo
n that will 60 and hear things in
elr theater whose tendencies are
M M most vulgar of the vulgar, and {
70 will be tickled all over, and she ,
#. come to the church and she will n
tn her poor little nerves all shocked
ar pieces at something Sam Jones ss
- - and she will turn up her nose at I
- and I can always tell when the dt
,er has got a mortgage on woma
II. nose. 1t is always turning up. Ii
ne laughter and applause And b.
going to foreclose it some of til
days, too, sister, and he will get
: gal when he gets the nose.
:. LOOSEN EN- Up.