Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-10-21
QUEER AND CURIOUS SIGNS.
Some of the ssNotices'' to be Seen About
New York.

| New York.
(From the New York Times.1
ssShow cards written here by men of
LETTERS" Such was the Canal Street
legend that caught the eye of a pedes-
TRAN in search of the odd, the Quaint
and the ridiculous in signboard litera-
ture. To find out whether some indi-
gent artist and author was here prosti
| tuting his brain and skill, or whether
the occupant was really the author of
! the facetious and emphatic signs that
are made to catch the public eye, the
doubtful scribe mounted to the attic
and found that neither of his SUPPOSE
tions was wide of the mark. A man
busily engaged in decorating card
| board proved to be a scholar and
truly Japanese in the dolefulness of his
mirth.
! ), "Comic signs ?" said he in answer to
an inquiry for information. "Well,
they may have been once, but there's
nothing new under the sum-" as he
Tipped to one side g. card inscribed
Hoe made Pise." ''Though the Egvp-
tians and Musselmans were averse to
such devices, Athens and Rome used
the same old jokes in their wine cellars
that are known to younger genera
tions, and as for newell, behold one
who has dieted on q mental regimen
of 'chestnuts. How he added a.
flourish to Glands Wanted on
Pants" "That maternal joke is a
source of amusement every day on
| Broadway, for the secret of humorous
signs, intentional or accidental, is that
every one prides himself on perceiving
a witticisn. A man in London made
fortune 80 years ago in making
/ these cards, but now every business
man likes to placard his own Joke;
other men have sprung up in the bust
ness; cartoons and doggerel verse are
| all the go, and times are very dull
Almost every Office has rung the
changes on when you call upon q
man of business do your business, 90
| about your business; and give him a
chance to attend to his business
GA young man down town who earns
a precarious livelihood by writing ad-
vertisements has stuck up this warn
ing:
"'Take that CUFF elsewhere.
The story you are about to tell is q chestnut.
Time is money and we are not charitable
A business man has posted con-
spicuously and tersely:
To-day for me, tomorrow for you
"Stlll, what may be called bad
breaks In the English language are
mostly perpetrated by the Irish
American in restaurants and drinking
halls" The scribe went on his way
and kept his eyes open.
A Grand Street sign, "Shaving Mugs,
5 CENTS" makes it uncertain whether
it refers to the act or the article.
A Fourteenth Street quack an
nounces Cancers Cured and War
ranted." Any one wishing nice, Wig
orous cancerous growth need evidently
60 no further.
The tin-type pests of Rockaway put
out this Observation-Disclosures: "Have
your photographs taken together"
The old New Yorker as he walks
along the platform of the City Hall
station Of the elevated railway is sur
prised by the information: '"This is
not the Brooklyn Bridge"
practical Hair Cutter" is an an
nOuncement so common that few stop
to reflect on the improbability of a
theoretical hair cutter doing a paying
business.
The sporting editor of a prominent
New York daily surmounts his desk
with the title Of a certain religious week
ly: '"The Christian at Work.
A baker who aims at excelling in pie
and patriotism has elevated this sign
above his door: Homemade pies.
Pro Bono Publico."
But in the drinking halls and low re-
sorts are found the most spicy pla-
cards, laughable in their grim humor,
which usually points a forcibie though
unexpressed moral. AHouston Street
temple of sparring declares "No lovers
allowed" while an adjacent concert
hall gives the invitation, Guests will
please arrange themselves as pict-
uresquely as possible"
At Lion Park there is a hidden de-
mand, Gentlemen will not spit upon
the floor; others must not"
The visitors to Fort Lee Park must
not be judged by the admonition
please not throw bread around the
room"
There is a rule prevalent in the East
River dance gardens that glory in the
rapturous delight of the ''spiel''-that |
loathsome crawl that is usurping the
American waltz-"No society Knicker-
booker or Boston Dip allowed on this
floor"
Yet by far the most delicious piece
OF command in New York is the yelled |
irony OF notice in notorious resort:
POSITIVELY no excuse if found with |
another mans hat" Any one &C
quainted with the customs of Hester
Street knows that the unexpressed |
punishment will never permit the Of
fender to return in statu quo. The
penalty will come in a briefer space
than the announcement; it will be as
emphatic as the command.
Dennis Ryan's Investments.