The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-05-30

You never ought to judge a cigar
by its scent. Many of them bring
cents.
In Massachusetts, pews in Roman
Catholic churches are now sold at
stated prices at every mass.
Mrs. Barrios, widow of the late
president, has black eyes and glossy
hair and is only twenty-six.
In Siam husbands put up their
wives and gamble for them. In this
country they only put up their antes.
: "No prima donna ever sings to her
baby" She probably does not want
to waste her sweetness. on the infant
heir.
A California girl has a perfect
mouth in each cheek, She must be a
holy terror at kissing bee or a pie
party.
When 3 baby gets old enough his
chief pleasure is to walk. Before that
time his amusement consists in seeing
papa walk.
Ingersoll affirms thathope is the big
gcst liar that ever existed. Get thee
to cellar, Robert, and apologize to the
gas meter.
The woman who never asks her
husband for money has been found.
The old man is in the asylum and
she helps herself.
Philadelphia has girl who hears
through her nose. She ought to be
able to understand the language of a
Limburger cheese.
The girl who said Il dotc on the
sea- the day she sailed, was yelling
for an antdote before the steamer was
out Of sight OF land.
Oscar Wilde favors the ablition of
the coat and vest This will be god
send to the editors-that is, to those
who happen to own shirt.
''How dreadful it is," said a sympa.
thetic woman, "to be murdered and
then be packed in a trunk. Icouldn't
stand it. I'd smother to death.
"To the victors belong the spoils,
said the republican grocer, as he
worked off a dozen bad eggs on just
appointed democratic ofiice-holder.
A wealthy old West-ender with d
pretty daughter has bought som,
hand grenades for use when Il spark
has begun to develop into a flame
The first sign of the decadence o
the rollor-skating craze has come
The Niagara Rink, Of Massilon, Ohio
has gone into the hands of receiver
In her excursions to and from tn,
various places she visits, Queen Vic
toria is attended by George Brown
y brotherof the lamented John Brown
Zone sees strange sights at sea,
said person who had just crossed th'
Atlantic. al saw the ocean heave,
passenger heave and the ship heav
to-"
"IIow can find out all about tn
young lady to whom I am engaged?
asks prospective benedict. Has sh
o younger brother? II so, consul
him.
A New York artist recently sho
himself before one OF his unfinished
pictures Perhaps il he had exhil
tied it somebody else would have she
him.
"This is the sole answer can civ
to your proposal, SIR said old Mum
bags, as he politely assisted youn
Highcollar down the steps six at
time.
"You seem to have unlimited cred
ut the store, Mrs. Byng-or do yo
send the goods home c. 0. d." "No
] send them c. 0. G,-eall o
George"
Japan has an army of 10000 me
reserve of twice that number, teri
torial rcserveof 10000 all equippc
and dressed in European fashion, ca
rying Remington rifles. Service
obligatory.
"What is the safest way to transit
beesg' asked suburban corespon
emit The safest way would lie TO a
minister chloroform to them II tb
should be 40 expensive he Ioig
catch the bees and muazie them. q
muzzle, by the way, should be wol
IN the. place where the hustle usual
goes.