Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-31
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION.
CONVERSATIONAL
Advice 10 Those who Desire 10 iseeosns
Proficient In the Art Of Being
Agreeable.

Proficient in the Art Of Being
Agreeable.
A young lady. whose marriage il III
| prospect, writes to us that She would
ike TO become expert III conversation.
| She realizes that as wife She must
carry herself with dignity and self
| possession. and that her conversation
ought to be ready and intelligent What
she particularly desires is the ability to
talk with "a whole company. AMI even
TO be the leader of conversations She
fears that the meeting OF many strangers
IN her new home will appall her CONVEX
satlonA powers, which in her old home
rarely faiied her The foundation of
new home circle Is in the special PROV
inee of Good housekeeping, and We will
respond to the letter on this page.
A trying ordeal il is for woman 10
break away from her home whcrr She
| has always lived and where everything
and almost everybody whom she secs is
| familiar, and enter strange home
where nearly all are strangers and
| where many new lcglafntanees arc TO
be acquired Next to her carr fhat She
shall look well. which is usually easily
| provided for, is woman's concern that
she shall appear TO be Intelligent, an
end that she regards rs of uncertain at-
tainment, because her feelings greatly
| predominating over her intellect. She
| contrasts herself with the other sex.
whose intellect is more conspicuous than
hers. A natural timidity, arising from
almost exclusive home experience. is
sure to magnify every difficulty. and She
approaches the ordeal with nIisgivings.
The principles that underlie conversa-
| tional ability fully cover this ease. The
Very first requisite Of all, compared with
which all the rest are insufficient, il
confidence, without which no one can
talk well, neither privately nor publicly.
II comes in various WAYS 10 different
people. being Unborn in some. Knocked
into others BY contact with the world.
and, in conversational WAY. IN the
ease OF still others. often acquired bv
practice under disciplinmg cireum-
stances. Bearing npon all these IN
stances Is the command that one Las
over the Languages, and his ready use OF
words. In short, good eonversationstlists
are born as well rs made.
With Unborn assurance and loqllaeiiv.
no one win faltcr in conversation. and.
though his part may not be well sl.s-
tanned he viii be likely TO nionopolize
attention. If to these be adtledsprae-
tice, an extensive knowledge Of the
world. varied reading and thoughtful
intelligence. spiced with Storytelling
powers, n person win shine in converse
ton above most of his fellows aud NAV
parlonably take the lead in H. Al The
other extreme. one whose power over
language is very limited. whoh a.. been
so housekeeping that he knows little of
the world, who is tinid and fears 0trust
himself in the mazcs of connected sli-
fences, and never has contersctl much,
will be failure conversaiionallA. no
matter how intelligent he nlis b. The
average person is mean between these
extremes. and such we will assume our
correspondent TO be.
The average lady will gain confidence
when she finds herself consistently where
she needs it, and. with ordinary con-
mand of language. she may decidedly
improve her conversational ability: hut
whether she may hope ever to become 4
leader, is doubtful certainly not If she
is in the presence OF agifted talker.
though otherwise She may train herself
to take stand in the front rank among
Others. Practice must be persisted Ia
constantly, taking advantage Of everv
opportunity TO converse. and making 4
study of the matter. Newspapers should
be read thoroughly. for they supply sub
jects that are timely, and often much in
addition. Taking care to note the sub
jects that may be converscd about. the
reader will cultivate her memory and
provide herself with ready material for
discussion. The fresh and best litera-
turc of the day outside of newspapers
should b. treated in the same way.
Ladies usually narrate the incidents
of Their life, both great and small. re-
mote and recent. feelingly and tnter-
tainlngly, and these may be depended
upon for conversational stock, where
proper. Theyshould be cnioined to ae-
quirc an intelligent comprehension %
the affairs of the town or city where
they live, of their State and even Of the
Nation, not only current events, but his
torica Thus prepared the average
lady, keeping in good practice, will
have capital start for conversational
eonquests, and will then be able to do
well on higher plane Of subjects of
more abstract and intellectual nature.
TO sustain conversation of this kind
much reading of the best sort and com
siderable study are necessary. the par
ticulars of which would need special
article for their treatment
With ali these preparations i'm gaining
confidence, in practice and in providing
the subject matters, our correspondent
ought to become Tcfv good coHecfs-
tionalist But it should be remembered
that one should possess an art in con-
yersation beside talking 1.-The art Of
making others talk. One who IS i
genius in this social duty may monopo-
ize most of the time and so charm his
hearers that they will be content to be
silent; but, if he is not a genius. he may
make himself obtTusivc and call forth
unpleasant criticisms. Therefore. to
give others an opportunity to talk. who
may stand in danger of finding none. a
talented conversationalist will ascertain
their favorite and most familiar fields of
knowledge for purposes of cnticement
Good suggestions of subjects for others
conversation are sometimes more adYis-
able for one than taking the lead. How
ever easy conversation may be under
otiitI C1CuiiirltuCtSs lflt must titAHAtA-
nate and unsatisfactory attempt viii DO
found to be in a miscellaneous small as
semblagc, cndcavoring to sustain only
one subject. when the assemblage
ought to be divided into groups. each
cngTossed with its own topics. CONVEX
bational power. then. our correspondent.
viii find, may be acquired. even among
strangers by one WHO'S not gifted IN
his particular. by assiduo,is attention 70
The matter, by forcing confidence
through making demands upon i. By
unremitting practice, by providing the
materials in many ways. and by atten'l-
ing to those arts and cxpedients chat
make it possible for others TO take part
in conversation. Good Hotlsekcegil3g.
A Washington bookseller says Srere-
tary Bayard reads heavy books Tic
D..