Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-17
A CLEFT STICK.

No, there was no doubt about it; had
drunk a great deal more than was good
for me, as my aching head and parched
mouth only too plainly proved. 1t was
not the lobster salad scorned the de-
ceptiOn; it was the champagne. | had
always maintained that picnics were a
mistake, and now was certain of it.
Do not misunderstood me when | say
picnics are a mistake. Your real rural,
halt-improptu picnic, with few intimate
friends, IN some pleasant spot away from
the busy hum-drum of everyday life, is
pleasant enough; but what l inveigh
against is that set feast of luXuries, con-
Veyed in perfectly appointed luncheon
basket to some hackneyed feasting place
by ''pampered menials," and in which the
only variety from everyday luncheon con-
slsts in that it is eaten 10 an uncomforta-
bic position, instead Of the orthodox COM
Portable one. And this had been the case
yesterday. Besides, the company had
not been to my taste. Imagine a single
man, or, indeed, any man, picniciDg with
three engaged couples! Could the most
cOntented of all mOrtals have been happy
under the circumstances?
True, there had been a few odd middle
aged outsiders, but what of that? All!
what, indeed? And as my memory be-
gan to collect its scattered particles l
had more cause than ever to curse that
picnic.
We had been up the river party of
twelVe-yes, that was it-and finding that
no Establishments on my part could dis
tract the course of true love of any one of
the three engaged misses from their faith
tul SWANS, had been obliged to fall back
upon one OF the 'Odd" members of the
party. Urged on my wild career by des-
peratiOn and frequent glasses of cham
payne, / had made violent love to a
maiden lady Of-well, of a certain age.
she had been too agreeable; that was her
only fault. What might | not have COM
mitted myself to in my efforts to drown
ennui! Who knows? Perhaps / had
proposed to her. Well, she had been very
charming; why not? Great heavens! she
was 40 II she was day; and perhaps
bah! perhaps she was "made up" At
least, l remember she appeared to possess
Al certain amount of good looks; but how
was l to know that those dark lashes
were not the result of anthony, those
languishIng glances belladonna, that
complexion arsenic, those delicate white
hands bismuth? And now, too, / remem-
bered that l had promised to call upon
her. She lived at Kensington! Happy
thought! Perhaps l had misald her ad-
dressl jumped off my chair with more
alacrity tnan had thought possible, and
rummaged in my pockets Tor the card
that she had given me. She said, with a
bewitching smile, that she was quite
sure ! should forget the address unless l
had that card.
No such luck, for there it was, only too
palpable to the naked eye. l sat down
again to the pretense of breakfast that l
mad been making during these reveries.
Az unwelcOme knock at the door, fol-
lowed by a more unwelcOme intruder, put
an abrupt end TO them.
Hello, Charlie, old manv exclaimed
\ my hated visitor; show are you? Look
seedy; been up all night, or what"
''Oh, YOU go TO the deuceV l answered,
tessty.
Thanks; you always were hOspita-
Bile kind of fellow, but l hardly expected
SO warm a reception as this.'
"Well, l tell you what it is, Ralph, !
am awiully down ON my luck, and don't
want any of your chat this morning"
I "Oh, iii Tvs matter OF a flyer or so, why
didn't you say so before? You know you
may always count on me to oblige you at
pinch"
"Bosh. my dear fellow. it's not that. l
am little off color, that's all. DON'T you
see"
"Wbew-w, 1 think do see now! A
woman in the case, of course. What an
awtui duffer ! must have been not to have
seen.it at first"
"Look here Ralph / said, 81 am not
in the humOr Tor humbug this morning,
so let us drop the subject OF my appear
ance and its cause altogether. Have you
seen the GOv.P'
''Yes; saw HIM just as he was going out
for his morning constitutional. He looked
sit enough"
l WINGED at this overt dig at my tender
spot.
"Well, suppose you 90 down stairs
and smoke while ! finish my breakfast
and then Wen see how to pass an hour
or two"
My tormentor was gone at last, thank
goodness, but what was the torment Of
his presence to that Of my mind?
There was no getting out Of it. l must
call upon my elderly charmer, and that
without delay. The longer matters were
put of the worse they would appear.
l went down stairs and found Ralph
smoking. Bah! ! could not have smoked
this morning 10 have saved my life.
II suppose you have nothing 10 do
up 70 luncheon time, Ralphy VIII you
come for a driver / have "a morning call
dThought so; but why wouldn't you
speak the truth at OnceY Who is sheY"
thine enough for you TO know when
YOU have seen her." ] answered, surlily.
"Will you Gomez / shall have to leave
you outside"
"All right. old man; anything 10 fur
Their the interests Of a friend. / don't
mind playing 'Leporello' 10 your Don
Juan for once"
We drove 90 Kensington. The brilliant
sun seemed to mock my gloomy thoughts,
aud my spirits fell TO zero as We APP
preached the house.
"Was Miss Damian at home"
Yes, Miss Damiau was at homer
My last looph0le Of escape was closed.
l entered the house, and had not yet been
seated i've minutes when the door opened
ana "A perfect vision OF loneliness greeted
my astOnished gaze.
Picture to yourself the most beautiful
~Acreature your eyes ever rested upon Ci
your imagination conjured up in the form
present case.
Her eyes, her complexion and her
figure! but | viii not attempt % describe
them, Tor fear they should clash with your
lndiyidual ideal Of beauty, and 20 destroy