Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-19
BRIGHT BITS.

CHIC AGO had a ''hag- pipe concert the other
night. IL made great impression on the au =
dlence. Seven women tainted and the rest
tried to-PAitadeLOhi1 can.
OLD FARMER TO amateur ditto What do
you teed your Pig Amateur farmer
Corn" o. F.-''Ia the carp" A. f. in dis
gust)-"No; in the mouth. '-Rdmbter.
NOW that the wives of naval officers are
permitted TO reside with their husbands in
foreign ports, there is really no lnducement
for officers to leave Washington at al.--Net5
York Star.
PAPA, have guns got legs"
"How do they kick. tnen?"
with their breeches, my SON. Columbia
Spectator.
"PAPER is now moulded into spokes for car
rtage and wagon wheels" Some papers,
we've been told. can be moulded INTO almost
any shape by the promise of a few hundred
dollars worth of official advertising " OFr1s-
totog Herald.
SOME PURIsTs object to the use of the word
RENDER" as ten applied to the delivery OF a
song by an artist upon tine stage, but we are
Inclined TO think such use legitimate, mas
much as we find IN the dictionary a secondary
meaning to be ITO inlet. "-L01gsU Citizen.
WHEN Shakespeare wrote conscience doth
make towards of 10 all' he did not allow for
such lusus naturF as County Commissioner
Mccarthy. who p ants both feet on his own
=
and bankrupt county treasury ChicdgO
Netcs.
DIR. c. W. RILEY. who has given his extern
sive chronological collection TO the National
Museum at Washington, has spent twenty
five years in gathering American insects, and
is believed to have enjoyed an extensive and
exciting experience IN the hotels and boarding
houses of our beloved cOuntry.-Ne9o York
Star.
COUSIN SOPHIA talented and aceomplished)
" o., like Mr.. FlbsOn. He's SO sensible. He
told ne he didn't care ran for unintellectual
women, however beautiful they might be.
Cousin Bella lOnly pretty)-Dld he, really?
Why, he told me he couldn't bear Intellec-
tual women! He said wOman's mission was
to be beautiful!-Esebdn0e.
"sEE HERE, young man." said father as
he was dressing for church, THAT sort of
language won't do. Don't you know its
swearing?"
''Yes, pa, but ma gave me your collar but
ton to bring to you, and Eve dropped it and
''Well, by the--the- er-ha-um-eterna
hornspOons, that collar button must be
found."-Net0 York Sun.
Mr.. STURGEON is said to be thriving on his
vegetarian diet. He Is not the first prophet
who has adopted 1t with success. Daniel and
three of his companions lived on pulse and
water, land at the end Of ten days their
countenances appeared fairer and fatter in
flesh than all the children which did eat the
poIAlon % INT hius s meat. 1Hcre mas Deen
some discussion as to what kind of seed or
vegetable is represented by the term ''pulse;"
but no BOstOnian at his Sunday breakfast has
any doubt on the subject Christian Regjster
(BostORI.
The Young POETS SOLILOQUY
The verses of my charming lay
Glow with poetic tire;
Without conceiJ I think may
My finished lines admire.
Nv friends all say the POEMS fine,
That neer did poet better!
/ 70 d it up and write TO mine
Dear editor letter.
But on! my very heart does stop,
My very soul is sunk
To know that anlde newspaper shop
Has shipped her of for junk!
-Ns10 Orleans Times Democrat.