The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1885-08-26

The ordinary stride of Maud s. Is
seventeen feet per second. That of 3
man lodging butcher bill IS twenty
one.-Detrott Free Press.
"A dealer in cheap boots in one OF
his advertisements SAYS: Ladies wish
ing these cheap shoes will do well to
call soon. as they wiz not last long
Chicago Tribune.
&c. is so very close. was observed
by B.. ''that he WIN squabble about :
farthing." We'll remarked W. II
have always thought that the less one
squabbles about the better IN T.
Mai
-Flossie told her mother some news
to which the latter replied: s.You don
say SOL" Mamma said Flossis.
why do you say You don't say 50
when Pve just this minute said it?"-
Boston Post
-lnquirer-Yes;s sparagraphistn TN
doubleday originated from the use OF
the fist (s9) at the beginning Of
each paragraph. Therefore you are
correct in your spclling-reform of the
word TO s'paragrsfist. '-Csarvent.
Trousers with two legs are 3 pair;
a shirt with two arms is only one shirt
Philosophers had better give up trying
70 ind out whether the moon is inhab-
tied with spOoks and clear up some OF
the DARK mysteries of this hfe.-T0ledd
Blade.
Human nature is a good deal ike
dog nature. Whenever some ether dog
wants the bone it becomes doBbly
precious; and when a man is about 60
lose something upon which ne has put
slight value, Its worth goes skyward
CgeretGnd Leader.
-.dow did You come to fall in love
with Matte Cook. Fred Her face ism
the prettiest in the world" al admit
that, Bob. but then she's lovely char
acter and such a pretty foot " .-Ohi
then it was her foot that led you ta
adore Mat? Yonkers Gazette
Miss De yere-Don't you sing. Mr.
Lisle? Mr.. Isle (of the Harvard Glee
Club)-Oh, yes, but we are not alone.
That ugly old dnffer in the corner has
been watching us the last hair hour.
Miss De Yere-Oh, never mind him,
he's only my father.-BrookIs1s Eagle
-Featherly was making an evening
call and the revised edition was being
discussed. I'm the new Bible that pa
brought home," said Bobby. joining
the conversation, sister is four years
younger than she was in the old spe
Is that what is meant by the revis ID
edition ?"-N y Sam.
-'.TH tell you a great secret. but
you must promise not to give it away"
''Of course not. II believe Miss Bir-
g McGinnis is gone on me- I've al
most made UP my mind to pop the
question What did she say TO you?''
''She didn't say anything to me pre-
cisely. but at the picnic on Onion Creek,
she patted my dog on the head Isn't
that an encouraging sign" "Yes.
that's the next thing to patting gou on
the head. Your turn viii come next. +"
-1eGas Siftings.
-Hewas poet, and he was talking to
Miss Ethel in the conservatory, and as
she toyed with the ice which he had
just brought her, she inquired: MIR
etry, don't youP'' .-oh, yes. Miss
Ethel" he answered, sand it comes SO
easily to me. Why. do yon know. ex-
pect it is more work for you TO read
my poems that it is for me TO write
them " ssYes. expect it is" she an
swered eoyly: land it must be much
pleasanter to write them than to read
them" And then be looked up at the
shrubs that grew around them and
said nothing. while she continued to
toy with the chilly orange-iayored ice
Boston Post.