Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-02-05
WEDDING ETIQUET.
Duties Of the Contracting Parties and Prep
arati0ns for the Ceremony.


mankind and which bears fruit in our
later and more complex civilization,
still reminding us of the past. In ear
" and in savage days the man sought
his bride heroically and carried her off
by force 1t is still q theory that the
bride is thus carried off, Thus the
long-cherished theory bears fruit in the
English ceremonial, where the only
carriage furnished by the groom is one
in which he drives the bride away to
the spending of the honeymoon. Up
to that time he has had no rights of
proprietorship. Even this is not allow
ed IN America among fashionable peo-
pie, the bride S father sending them in
his own carriage on the first stage of
their Journey. 1t is not otiquet for the
groom to furnish anything for his own
wedding but the ring and bouquet for
the bride, presents for the bridesmaids
and the best man, and some token to
the ushers. He pays the clergyman.
lie should not pay for the cards, the
carriages, and entertainments, or any
thing connected with the wedding
This is decided in the high court of Ell
quet. This is the province of the fam
lly OF the bride, and should be insisted
upon.
At the altar the groom, if he is a mil
llonnaire, makes his wife his equal by
saying: '.With all my worldly goods I
thee endOW;" but until he has uttered
these words she has no claim on his
purse for clothes or cards, or household
furnishing, or anything but those arti-
cles that come under the head of such
gifts as it is a lover privilege to make.
A very precise Old-time aristOcrat of
New York broke her daughters en-
gagement to- gentleman because he
brought her dress from Paris. She
said if he did not know enough not to
give her daughter clothes while she
was under her roof he should not have
her.
This is a remark which applies at
once to that liberty permitted to en-
gagged couples in rural neighbOrhOOds,
where the young girl is allowed to 90
on a journey at her lovers expense. A
girls natural protectors should know
better than to allow this They know
that her purity is her chief attraction to
man, and that 4 certain cOyneSs and
virginia. freshness are the dOwrv she
should bring her future husband. Sup
pose that this engagement is broken
off? How will she be accepted by
another lover after having enjoyed the
hospitality Of the first? Would it not
make q disagreeable feeling between
the two men, although No. might
have perfect respect for the girl?
1t is the privilege Of the bride to name
the wedding-day, and of her father and
H. g., L,
ter the wedding invitations are issued
she does not appear in public.
The members of the brides family 90
to the church before the bride. The
bridegroom and his best man await
them at the altar.
The bride comes last, with her father
or brother, who is to give her away.
She is joined at the altar step by her
fiance, who takes her hand, and then.
she becomes his for life.
All these tribes mean much, as any
one can learn who goes through the
painful details of a divorce suit.
Now, when the circle of friends on
both sides is very extensive, it has of
late become customary to send invita-
tons to some who are not called to the
wedding breakfast, to attend the cere-
mony at the church. This sometimes
takes the place of issuing cards. No
one thinks of calling on the newly
married who has not received either an
invitation to the ceremony at the
church or cards after their establish
ment in their new home
In most cases the after-cards are or
tlered with the other cards, and the
brides mother pays for them. But if
they are ordered after the marriage the
groom may pay for these as he would
pay for his wife's ordinary expenses.
Still it Is stricter etiquet that even
these should be paid for by the brides
family.
People who are asked to the wedding
send cards to the house if they cannot
attend, and, in any case, send or leave
cards within ten days after, unless they
are in very deep mourning, when a dis
pensation is granted them.
The etiquet of wedding at home
does not differ at all from the etiquet of
a wedding in church with regard to
cards. A great confusion seems to eX-
ist in the minds of some as to whom
they shall send their return cards on
being invited to avoiding. Some ask:
Shall | send them to the bride, as [
do not know her mother?" c rtainly
not; send them to whomsOeyer invites
you. Afterward call on the bride or
send her cards; but the first and inn
portant card goes to the lady who gives
the wedding.
The order of the religious part of the
ceremony is fixed by the church in
which it occurs The groom must call
on the clergyman, see the organist, and
make whatever arrangements the bride
pleases; but ali expenses, excepting the
fee of the clergyman, are borne by the
brides family.
wedding invitation requires no an
swer, unless it be to a Shutdown we'd
ding breakfast. Cards left afterward
are all-sufficient. The separate cards
CT the bride and groom are no longer
included in the invitation. Nothing
black in the way of dress but the gen
tlemen's coats is admissible at a we'd