The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1885-12-27
CIRCUMSTANCES.
&c. i Rim CHICAGO Tribnaa.I

Well | bet ON circumstances every time.
In all ny scrapes-and there are lots Of
thsm-I am never really to blame, but ]
always appear t. Be. Pm q sort OF toy Of
destiny foot ball OF fortune Other fell
lows do 81 gustiny, outrageous things and
are never found out; but by Jove! L
mean to engage boy to go around with
ma just to have him ready to te sti,y t. my
innocenc, when the next storm breaks On
my devoted head For l aru tired of this
scapegoat business Il wears on tL9
nerves, a the cashiers say when they stars
for Canada.
Just look at that awful "third-story wiz
dow racket" l was led into by Tommy
Virgins, which paralyzed all Philadelphia
and made it necessary for me to have &
change of air (7everal of my aunts took &
change of their at the same time), white
Tommy enjoys himself at home Nobody
blame5 him. No relations cut him out Of
their wills. o. mol It was all that awful
Teddy BouncaI's" fault Tommy is all
right and l am coopei up in g dirty
architects office in New Jerey drawing
cJw-hou>es, while he doubtless is RECALLING
the fellows with distorted version Of the
affair
Now. merely to put myself straight, pIl
just tell you the facts as they truly oc-
Cured Then l fancy you will agree with
me that circumstances do make the man.
1t was T. N. We had left poker party
at Harry Coles, where We had had just
royal old time. | was dead bTo1e-aIways
am after these plea amt little entertain
ments-nu5 very jolly, and Tommy Wig
gins agreed to see me home. He was very
affabie till b. reached his door. when he
cody sal he'd !, me in, only his mother
wouldn't stand It, Fer you are not quite
the thing" he added.
Not quite The thingG What was he, pd
like to know?
20. that's all right for you, but where DO
/ come inl' l inquired. "You know l
haven't cent and have lost my latahkey.
You don't mean to leave me like this!'
Cant help it - l., replied with drunken
crlvty, "motaer's put aer loot down"
well suppose you lend me 81 -, Lug
gestei; "that'il maxi it just an ev9a SO
owe you, AMI | can get a room some where"
"Don'5 want to make it even So he
rnutterei; 1922 % IS Lad enough"
20, never mini, don't worry about me"
said, thinking sting him with q little
COLI sarcasm. Don't fret lean go home
and climb in the thir i-story window
Yes, / would" To reto?ted, utterly miss
ing the point az you can't work that try
the Co:LAole'
"Then a voice, plaintive female voice,
pipel out, "Fommyl'
4
the house like ono man, but in vain.
The voice resumed; "You walk yourself
in directly. see you; you need not try to
hide"
Eyes" giggled Tommy. "She sees me and
calls. Goo'-nigh. Teddy" And lie sneaked
into the house, and left me-left me, a
scion of the Oldest family in Philadelphia,
to get myself home any way L could. It wGs
beastly shame for my Aunty Tabby says
that at the time my grandfather was an
honored guest in the White House Tommy's
was tinker. The fellow should have es-
teemed it an honor - assist M.
However, there | was with the best blood
in Amarica going rouD like a mill wheel il
my head and making the street dance a jig.
! was not tight-n0, III Iced; loose described
my condition, particularly about the knees.
As | fell easily and naturally from one SD
psrb pose plastiqua 10 another on my way
down the street / seemed to be double or
triple jointed-a re, ul3r Inlia-rubber man.
After an arduou' struggle reached my
own door and suuk GOwa on the step3 to
think over thu situation. Now said /,
"ths strongest point Al my favor Il am al
ways logical after poker partie) IS that |
am the only lolser in this old barracks of q
dRy-schonl. Con ca iently al not liable
e. observations " interruptions even from
jantor But there is n stronger one
against me--almely: my leSS, wajcl rafuse
10 obsy nav will. Now. having two legs
AM one brain, and living in a country
Were Che majority ruie,, it will certainly
be awkward il my brain says: Phi climb
IN t. my wul1w.' ana my legs reply:
We prefer 1lpuu,ily up on tho sidewalk. ,"
Ii re my brIiiia II argument was rulely
i:t u.,tat Uy two horrii little belateI
81 i,rCe' sitija up AMI yelling, 20! look
Sc; ice ii u,iln ,tIde, a taking his siestayp
Taiua 81 the degradation! A Bouncer
jeartl a. " SIC r3Gb.a. The blood of my
an,e- t3t> bo,l,!, My impulse was to wipe
ou6 the lu uiJ il GiOod-their blood My
legs secollaI m molly; they left bowling.
Tai, little encounter braced me up so
thorou gay that y little exertion l got
ugouui tue corner INTO the alley that runs
beaia tn, house on Che,tnut street. TAX
Hg d seat oI tGs curbstons | contem-
II sc the rJH Of neat LrjcS hou es One
OF hem was my 10 ,tinatiol. The delicate
question % "Whica" arose, and affairs
a., cilsael up gain.
snew my hoI,e had an extension ON the
i.v Il 'Jr AMI a Goa -ervatory on the second,
from vuicl l X Jew / could easily step into
usy winl Bat s. rad all tn rest. HOW
on cart was l to r.c's out mine2 i severe
mont ii struggle inclin Vi mo 10 think it the
Xu from the corner os Twentieth street Ac-
coriingly, taking the lamp-post as q start
ing-poiIt, came dowI the alley counting,
Convinced taat. in spite OF my fathers in
furious reflection; :. l hal brain and large
one. AMI arrived ut the sixth house in a
state OF greats .tisfactIon. Looking carefully
around, | put an ash barrel against the
fence made break for it, ana founl my
sci in the yard, with rather more ashes on
my dress-suit than / usually wore, but very
happy.
so much fox Buckingham cried, and
commsuced to climb up the extension.
Now, u,ualjy gymnastics are not at all
ia my line; Uut that night / developed 6
supplsnes, sort Of capacity for hanging
On to nothing, that inclined ma strongly
10 ia. DIEwiniGn theory. l felt sure
thaE ia ome ros very remote period
had an cid grandfather who got his meal;
~ shining up cocoanUt-trees- Nothing
els, coall explain the way 1 got up thai
wS5sI-pipe to the extension roos. Once
7 u, -I,g.,.-