Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-07-18
Saturday Smiles.
/ sell my Unld minnG

correspondence Oh u western paper, The first
thing We believe is to catch your fool.
Two California women have become profess
sionai highway robbers. 1t is believed they
obtained their education in church fairs
\ Lancaster lawyer gives "a reason for not
going To Europe this summer that a rich client
has just died, and he is afraid the heirs will get
the proPerty.-CU;uH,Gid Co,runt.
One swallow doc:n't make summer. to be
sure, but one swallow usually inciines an old
topper to some mOre.-L0Uisti{ie Journal.
What is the difference between ascending
pyrotechnics and q drunkard's mOuthe One is
a sky-rocket and the other is a rye-socket. -
NenHon HadcpenteHf.
1t makes q man who has taken his best girl
TO the scaShore rather incred;,lOus to read that
money l. remarkably slow this scasOn."-Nev
York GruPiiir.
mock oyster soup'' is advertised In down.
town restaurant. That must he the kind they
have at ch-h f-s.-Netc York Grophic.
Cucumbcrs sliced are said To remove freckles
This i not wonderful. They have been known
10 remove whole fani!ies.-Metrail,on Inetepe,s.
dent.
y roctess MARBLES: al love to sing when am
glad-song is the echo OF my gladncss; love To
sing when am sad. for song makes sweet my
loves To- Sii. Her ncIshbOrs have not Vet been
heard frOm.-NorrixtO,cn Herald.
Hunting item.-"Is the coon n smart ami.
ni"l?" asked n stranger of old 81 Jackson on
Onion creek. Talk about 'coonS being smart,
1 should say dey was smart" 'Well. how
smart arc thev:" "a econ played me de mean.
est trick You cher heard tell ON. fonn' q hole
:.I.,f lie com went into de 2roun' and waited
d;lr all day long to shoot dat coon, and when
ne did come out he was pOlecat."- Texas
SVtiRQs.
A lady was asked by her friend il she really
intended to marry Mr.. -. who was good
k,nd OF a man, but SO very singular. swell"
replied the lady. "if he is very much unlike
other men, he is more likely to make a good
husband"
Miss Minnie Pickett will leave for her home
many young men IN. this community to mourn
her loss. Their loss will be her eternal GAIN
Ir"iaton tGa.l APheat
Il tell you Fanny. am bound to succeed. I
have the aptitude 1t is close attention to small
thiigs which makes man succeed"
All, indeed! Well. that explains it,
Explains what. Fanny:"
Why you nay so much attention to your
ustache.'-I1da,ieirh,a CaH
Afier dinner yesterday
Old Fricnd-iou ought to be proud of your
wife, Tom.
Hos.-Ies?
Hld frisnd-shes most brilliant talker.
Old Friend-I could listen to her for q whole
night.
Hest (wearily)-I often do.-Eureka Sentinel.
Literary Miss Smith ito young physician mt a
partyl-!Are you familiar with Burns, DR.
pr. Fresh-Oh, yes !. had several quite severe
c''S:s on The Fourth. 1 lind flour very cooling
and effectively. J.. San.
"Ie: me see," said minister who was filling
out u marriage certificate and had forgotten
me date, this is the iitn. Is it not!''
NO, sir, replied the bride, with some indig
nation, this Is only my secondly. y. San.
Col. Nat Hammond was on the train not long
$50. when l,nk, inpuiring-iOoising strange.
lioVed across the aisle ;tnd took q seat by him
lie g:ized at Col. Hammond attentiveiy for
fun minute, and then said: "fIowdy dor
= am we'll. SIR" replied Col Hammond. a
pause for about two minutes, then: "What
inoGt your name be?'' "My name Is Hammond
,ir A stiii longer pause, and then: II hope
'aere ain u" harm done?" There is not sir. ;
I'm embarr;'ssins silence, during which ths
Stranger contemplated Col. Hammond closely
hen: "fou see. I've got an uncle lives up in
tennessee that aim never seen, and though
l might come upon him some time by list nsk
ing folks their name!-lSar0naati. (C;0.) Nescs.