The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-07-23
The FARMER EDITOR,
The Interesting Experience of Journal
istic Farm Hand.

lStlc hdOOs
II believe said Mr.. Colnon, turning
around, as he was on the front seat of
the carriage, to face the larger portion
of his audience, .'that I had sooner
write editorials than be farm hand.
When | was boyI came to the conclu-
sion that would strike out on my own
responsibility; that / would carve out a
line of action in contact with the world
at once worthy and commendable.
left home when was good chunk of a
boy and drifted around on the surface OF
nature some time before located my
claims and pre-empted fondness for
good square up and up work. I appren-
ticed myself to farmer for 81 month,
board and washing. Prior to locating
with the farmer had followed several
callings, but was dissatisfied with each
and all of them. Among the number
being butcher, painter, singing teacher
and member of Bible class in Sunday
school.
when I entered into contract with
the farmer. he said: Ned, whatever
you do, do it well. If you milk the COW.
in the morning, exact the last bit of
ROYALTY from her; if you feed the stock
in the evening, don't give them too
much food, for it may tie them up like
the contortionist you see displayed on
the circus posters; if you should be
called upon to get up before daylight
and hunt for it with candle, don't
complain. Ned, don't complain; re-
member that the early bird catches the
worm, and that the early farm hand is
a source OF joy to his employer. Eat
whatever is set before YOU and never
complain if there is no butter upon the
table, when it is selling for fifty cents a
pound" This was my initiation into
the duties of farmer
had hired to the farmer late in the
afternoon, and when supper was ready
/ made grand charge, in company
with three others, upon the banquet
hail. We sat down to a supper of cold
pork, potatoes, and plenty of skinned
milk. From the outset was affected
with a disinelination to eat;-I couldn't t
eat; that was all there was about it.
After supper the farmer said: Ned; &c
out to the barn and help milk. Look
out for the brindle COW, she is little
troublesome sometimes, but | think you
can manage her. Armed with the
milk pail repaired to the barn and
confronted the brindle COW.
The brindle COW had child-like
simplicity look in her eye. There was
striking difference in, her Character
as | afterward found out-more than in
any cow that | had ever seen before, or
have ever seen since. She was raised
in Texas and grew up on the freedom
of the country, until she was just enter
ing girlhood, when she immigrated to
California and became the property OF
my employer. | approached her with
great deal of caution. She had a
nervous way of switching her tail and
picking up her right hind foot that
didn't like and felt solicitous about.
carefully put my hand on the cows
loins and solaeed her with those gentle
words, so, Brindle,. so,' She seemed
to like the affection which displayed.
/ fondled her until thought the coast
was clear and l could get in my worF
and richly earn my salary.
II commenced milking, but somehow
or other no milk rewarded my labor.
The brindle cow evidently was aware
that l was a new hand upon the ranch.
| made one great exertion to exact the
fluid from her. The brindle cow-as
was afterwards informed nervously
picked up her right hind leg and gently
tied knot in my abdomen. When the
conclusion came / shot up into the sky
aike rocket and in descending landed
head first in the watering trough, when
/ was kindly removed to more congefl-i
ial quarters by the farmer and his two
grown daughters; the milk pail was rent
in fragments, while the corraIwas badly
Uttered up with the remnants of my
clothing. To tell you the truth, didn't
know it was loaded, a9.
I'm the middle of the night of the
same evening that this accident hap
pened, was rudely awakened by the
farmer placing his hand upon my
bruised legs, saying: Ned, it's time to
get up; come, rouse yourself. m
| thought in my waking moments
that the brindle COW had again struck
me. Getting up, I lighted the tallow
candle in my boudoir and laboriously
pulled on my trowsers, or what was left
of them. Coming down stairs, the
farmer said: Ned, as you had poor
luck in the dairy last night, you can
wrestle with the wood-pile awhile be-
fore breakfast As | went out doors a
little faint streak in the eastern horizon
feretold that in the course of three OF
four hours the sun would illuminate the
surface of nature. / sleeply picked up
the saw and commenced to- lay the
foundation for an appetite for break,
fast. / was so sleepy and sore that ]
could not exert myself, and laying the
saw down fell asleep with as much
composure as the fat boy in Pickwiek.
II hadn't been asleep more tilan hall
an hour before | was roughly awakened
by the farmer crying: Come, I don't
pay you to sleep. j pay you to work. /
got mad at this rough interruption. to
my dreams, and as the BIRDS were just
beginning to carol THEN. praises to the
morning dawn | left the farm for good.
AS / passed out of the gate | heard the
farmer remark to one of bis grown-up
daughters who stood in the doorway:
If had boy as lazy as that / would
make an editor ont of him. And from
that moment T resolved tn hn a unyvs-