Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-08-09

and then the paint washed OFF. This
nearly broke her heart, and | have had
10 engage the man Who swindled me to
come twice week and touch GOGGLES
up. The man says: Yer can bet yer
sweet life | am the boss fakir in
America Then GOGGLES lay too
much by the fire, and the glue
softened and his tail uncurled
and stuck straight out like a point
er's. The hair-dresser has to come
and crimp it every morning. My
wife would sigh and say 'Oh,
Charley, do look at him no ", the little
darling; look at his beautiful eyes, see
how they glitter, see how they express
his love for me- Isgreed with her;
rather thought they glittered, espe-
cially the left one. was right. Goo
giles fell off the stoop one night, and
when he was rescued empty was one
socket. A little boy who was passing
handed me something that he had
picked up in the street he saidit wasa
diamond breastpin.' 1t turned out to
be Googles's glass-eye. The love my wife
had seen was in reality pinch of
phosphorus.
GOGGLES then knew that he had
been discovered as fraud, and no
longer dissembled. His good manners
at once took wing. He deserted the
parlor and his good mistress for Tren-
ton sausages and the cook. His tastes
were low, and he sought the festivities
Of the realms Of tho basement. When
ne had stuffed himself out with good
cheer until he could hardly waddle he
would 60 and look at himself in the bur-
nished convex boiler to elongate his
figure. lie is up to all sorts of games,
and for small dog can purloin more
meat from the butchers and hide it on
his person than melancholy Dare.
His thirst is Of the best order, too; he
is terror on the heel-taps in the de-
canters.
"fne night GOGGLES was decidedly
gIoggy and in beastly frame of mind.
He had been lushing it several days,
and was Off his feed lie had been
offered saddle of mutton and roasted
Currituck widgeon for dinner, all to no
good. He began to see things, and as
| passed him on my way out he bit at
my leg and went whooping off. When
| reached the club some one said,
Charley Lanjan's got 'em bad; he's
going around with a pearl necklace on
his leg; he is working the Duke
racket | heard the remark, and on
looking down found a full set Of false
teeth sticking in my trousers. They
were Google9's.
my wife came home one day and
said that there was to be dog-show,
and that she had entered GOGGLES, and
wanted me to fix up a pedigree right
straight off. | did it. copied most
Of it out Of Burke's Peerage, adopting
only the Christian names. 1t took bet
ter than any pedigree | ever heard Of,
and GOGGLES won the prize. But my
wife made enemies of seventeen Of her
most intimate lady friends, all of whom
have been trying to buy or steal GOGGLES
ever since.
NOW that GOGGLES has become a
winner he has put on more frills than a
dozen virgin queens. He smasheS
things, chews things, bites things, deS-
trOys things, and steals things. He
gets sick, and the family physician has
to be called in. He has the canker, and
when he gets well Of it he starts in on
the mango. lie gets better and has to
ride in the park. lie RECEIVERS, and he
gebbles everything he sees. Just run
your eye over this paper" concluded
Mr.. Lanjan, land see what GOGGLES has
cost during the month y: