davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1885-04-30
For Sale.

160 acres Of good farming land situated with
in one half mile from Mullet Lake Station.
Apply to SAMUEL II. TAYLOR, Agent.
Gerow Block Cheboygan Mich
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1885-04-30

The River Drivers Strike for Higher Wages
Mot Successful.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
Human Endurance.

It is an acknowledged fact that mns
possesses the power Of endurance to o
greater degree than any Of the lower
animals. Professional pedestrians have
been known To walk an average Of one
hundred miles per day for six consecu-
tive days, which would be wonderful
accomplishment for horse, and sur
pass all the known records Of that use
full animal. OF course man possessing
the power Of endurance to its fullest
extent must be in perfect health. One
who Is troubled with weak urinary and
digestive organs, whose pulse Is irreg1-
lar, whose heart palpitates and who
feels sense of burdensome fatigue
after the least exertion, would be very
unwise TO compete in a pedestrian
contest Should you suffer from .
want OF endurance, you can regain ro-
bust health and strength by using DR..
GUYSoTTS YELLOW DOCK AND SARSA-
PARlLLA. This remedy has saved thou
sands Of weak, nervous, debllltated,
rickets head-achlng mortals TO lives Of
usefulness and the full enjoyment Of
perfect health. It removes all blood
Impurities, aches, pains, sores, plmples,
etc., and assists nature in controlling
and supporting harmonious routine
Of bodily functions, so essential TO
every ones physical welfare.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
InfantIle RolIo Hunters.

Scientists and their imitators have sug-
gested that the young Of any species betray
during their process of development the
instincts and habits Of their prehistoric
progenitors. Apply this theory to the
small boy, and 1t becomes plain that one OF
mans earlier states was that Of the bower
bird. Restless, inquisitive, and acquisi-
tive, the bower bird collects every brightly
colored or odly shaped object it can find,
and with this plunder decorates its bower.
So the small boy at the bower bird period
wanders up and down the face of the earth
after birds eggs, stamps, coins, postmsrks,
newspaper headings, autographs, mono
grams, buttons, advertising cards, and
seals.-Boston Advertiser,
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
The POUND STERLING.
To Calculate Its Value Something Like
Attempting to Square the Circle.

To Calculate It's Value Something Like
Attempting to Square tho Circle.
This question was asked of Sir Robert
Peel in the House of Commons, and he
replied by pitching a sovereign to the
oueriest. No better answer is possible.
Some years ago, when teaching political
economy at University College School,
l presented to my pupils a curious
problem. as follows: Our currency is
all based on the sovereign, and the
sovereign, as defined by an act of Par
lament, is 1880 Of 40 pounds troy,
or, otherwise stated, anybody taking
ingots of standard gold to the mint may
have them coined without charge into
soyereigns, at the rate Of 1863 for every
40 pounds troy; these 1869 weighing 40
pounds, the same as the ingot gold.
This being the case, what is the troy
weight OF each sovereign / offer the
same problem to my readers. Those
who attempt to work it out will find
that they have to face problem some
thing like squaring the circle. | have
gone as far as thirteen places Of deci'
mails, showing the weight Of sovereign
to be nearly 1913 27447833065S7 grains.
How much further one might 60 with
out arriving at the actual weight car
not say. The simplest attainable vulgal
fraction is 1913 17l-623 grains. Nothing
could be clumsier than this. 1t hai
caused volumes TO be written BY cur
rency paradoxers, who have denounced
the abomination Of fixing the price 0
gold. Why, say they, should we no
! have free trade in goldp Why shoul'
: the Government arbitrarily fix its pric,
at E3 It's. 10ld per ounce instead Of al
lowing supply and demand to fix tn
, price of this commodity as Of othe
|. thingsp Had the weight Of the soye
reign been a simple fraction OF al
ounce, say one quarter OF an ounce
this question would have answered itse
! at once by showing that because fou
! i, sovereigns weigh one ounce the value Q
: gold measured by sovereigns q. e., II
price) must be "a so long as the weigh
= Of the coin remains unchanged and n
= charge is made for stamping 1t. 1t
! the present complex fraction that ha
obscured this very simple subject
GentLemdn'S Magazine.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
SIMPLICITY OF LOGIC.


Max Is four years old and bonny,
Sharp as bee-stlngs, sweet as honey,
Kull OF little qulps and wiles,
Baoy frowns and baby smiles;
DOTS his hat TO any stranger,
Squee5es Pussy, Kisses Ranger;
To be brief: has all tho arts =
That run away with peoples hearts
And my little lad chops logic
Like grown-up pedagogic,
Only simpler: thus he reasons:
What is good bents all seasons;
If thing is true, it's true,
Whether said to me or you.
Ali might grown folks solve their puzzles,
without putting thought in muzzles.
Well, his mamma gave instructions,
But no made his own deductions.
"When you've something nice to eat
She said, "and company to treat,
Serve the first your little. playmate,
Put the largest piece on her plate,
And keep the smallest; don't forget
A gentleman must be my pet"
Max went to Marlan's next day.
Programme: The cake; then after, play.
At home once more, this mamma tender
Said: "Well, dear, did you remember
Aud give tho largest piece II cake
To MarianT' Pause: then outbreak:
"Why, mamma, you fink know nuffini
Oh, geth 'members sumhn-
@Glve company the largeth piethe,' you thaid
An had cake, an she had bread;
An wath company: OF courth
had the largeth piethe of both"
His mamma smiled. for logic won;
She ia led TO scold her little son.
But ever after this she tried
To keep logic ON her side.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
Imposing Upon the Poor.

"It all comes o. bein' poor" said an old
lady, trembling with indignation, to her
sick husband. 81 jist stepped in a minnit
at the Riches to tell 'em as how you
wasn't gittin' any better, and Mrs. Rich
sed she was sorry, and wanted me to bring
you bottle OF wine"
"Did you bring itS" asked the sick man
eagerly.
"No; heard her say 1t had been layin'
down in the cellar ever since 1855, an when
she offered It to me jist walked of with
out saying a word."-N. Y Sun.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
Tho Festive Cat.


The cat sings on the fence.
The cat is sad.
You can tell that from the song II sings.
Cats sing most when they are most sad.
The boy hears the cat, and is sad too.
The boy has toy gun.
He thinks II he could shoot the cat 10
would make 1t less sad.
Kind boyl
At least, IL would make II sing less.
The boy hides behind the bush and
shoots.
Has he shot the cati
No, he has shot his pa.
How his pa howlsl
He is the sad one now.
But the boy will be sad soon.
Will he be spanked?
You can bet your uttermost picayune he
will-spankod till ho is blue.-Minnedpohs
Tribune. s--
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
An Easy Situation

An Easy Situation.
Minks-"You seem to have plenty Of
time on your hands just now."
wiuks-"Yes; hardly know what TO do
with myself"
"But heretofore you have been head over
ears in business. Have youretireds"
"No; I've got new job"
"Indeedl What" ....
"I have become the husband OF an
actress. Philadelphia Call.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29

The annual report Of the Califor.
MIA State Board of Silk Culture repre-
sents silk culture TO be in an cncourag'
ing condition in that State. The CO.
coons raised have never been sur.
passed in quality, and the amount Of
silk produced would have been doubled
II not trebled last year, but for d5IIsap.
pointment in eggs in the spring. There
Is . lively interest in the industry.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
!" Maine Is a paradise for quacks,

=" Maine IS paradlse TOT quacKs,
said q prominent physician. Twenty.
eight States In the Union have adoptet
laws restricting the practice Of med'
cine 10 educated persons. Ihe adyen
turers come to Maine and thsive"-
Leviston (Me.) journal. f'14s
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
~

Tam an old man For q years suffered with ulcers
on my right log the result Of typhoid fever. Ampu.
tatiOn suggested ~ the only means Of preserving
life. The doctors couh do nothing for me, and
thought must die. For three years never had
shoe on. Swifrs Specific has made permanent cure
and added ten years 20 my life
VIZ. z. REED. gainesville, Hail Co, Go.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29

Ihaye taken swift's Specific for blood poison con-
tracted at medical college at dissection. while
was medical student. am grateful 70 say that u
gave me speedy and thorough cure after my parents
bad spent hundreds OF dol ars for treatment
AUGUSTUS wEHDEL, N. D., Newark. N. j.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29

6vifrs Specific is entirely vegetable. Treatise -
Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free.
THE SWIFT sPEorYIo Co., Drawer 9 Atlanta, Ga, @
l59 w. sd st., NY.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29

Ahi lackaday! what joys supreme
Went down with George into that stream
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
Ill.

AN Alabama editor winds up an editorial
on the corn crop with the remark: "Ws
have on exhibition In our sanctum coupls
of magnificent sArs.n --....-
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-04-29
FACE TO FACE.
A Fact Related In Seven Well
Told Fables.
nv n. r.. FRANcmLoN,

AUTHOR OF "a GREAT HErREss," "ouis
Ar LAST" "A REAL QUEEN" "EARLs
DIVE" ETC, ETC.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12

I"H. II. A. in Chicago Tribune
Tie severe and robably fatal illness o.
IA society lady should lie warning tC
all young ladies of plump and plea ing pro
portions not to .r,tie with their natural ten
dency toward embonpoint through the
medium of any artificial or ban,ing meth.
DDS Ever since Fanny Davenport by vio,
lent me hois reiucel her weight fifty
pounds a great many young ladies Of fun
figure, fearing they might reach Fanny's
proportions, set to work to thin themselves
out, so to speak, and there is not one case
where there has not been an injury more or
less severe 10 The constitution. Fanny Dav-
port has certainly reduced her figure to
comparative attenuation; but at what ex-
psDse of health, physique, and personal CON-
tort Her system is so run down that she
has to take bottle of champagne every
night before the lat act of Fedora" to
carry her through the great climax of the
act
This lady. who is one of the handsomest
and most popular OF New York society bellies,
was of full figure, but, perhaps envious Of
the wasp-like waists Of some of her rivals
among Gotham's society beauties, she deter
mined to reduce her size She has done so
but probably at the expense of her life. She
entered recklessly into the designations and
exertions of society amusements, but at the
same time went in for the starving process
She would play tennis for two or three hours
of an afternoon and then, with but little rest
and .ot much more nourishment than q
wine-glass full of lemon juice, would go to Q
ball A round of such excitement and phys
ical exertion without proper sustaining
power in the shape of ample rest and good
food suddenly Frustrated her. An absceSs
at the base of one of her lungs is the result
OF ruined system, and her doctors say there
is about one chance in twenty-five of her re
coyery
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12
TEE GLOBE REPUBLIC SUNDAY MORNING. April. 12 1885

tossing in his bed in the deiriun of fever.
The princes stood by the side of her child
and laid her hand on his brow AMI began to
cares him Touch cooled the fevered
brain and brought the wandering
soul back from its wild delirium to
nestle for moment in tine lap Of a mothers
love Then throwing his arms around her
neck he whispered, Mamma, kiss me-" The
instinct of mothers love was stronger than
science and she pressed her lips to those of
her child. And yet there is not woman in
ali the world but would say she wouli not
have had a mothers heart If she had not
kissed her BARN. And SO it will be to the
end of time. The mother will kiss her child,
the wife her husband and the lover his
sweetheart, though death in thousand
forms lay concealed beneath the vermilion
coloring of the pouting lips.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12
Value of the Egg.


Every one is familiar with the value Of
the yolk Of an egg as a hair wash, but per
haps may not be aware of its virtue in cloth
ing cleaning. Beaten up with alcohol, eau
de cologne, or either. like OK gall, it keeps
better and is more powerful; or in simple
cases, it may be used alone, or merely mixed
with water to be rubbed on with flannel, for
removing from colored materials the stains
OF mud, or of coffee and chocolate when
prepared with milk. 1t is frequently ap-
piled to velvet collars and cuffs, etc., and
proves a cleaner as well as a spot extractor.
When it has done its work it is washed off
with soap, and the material thoroughly
rinsed in pure water, Egg has specially
good effect on those annoying patches of
wheel grease belonging to the compound
class Of satins, as as they represent mix
ture of stale grease, iron and other sub
stances
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12

ade spree They hired secluded room II q
restaurant dressed themselves with comieal
intent in ancient Dutch costumes, qualified
themselves with old-time songs, stories and
speeches, ordered dinner of Dutch colonial
viands and got deliberately drunk on Hol-
land gin and wines. l am utterly unable to
go into particulars The accounts which
have come haziiy from the closely guarded
portals of that symposium relate to very ex-
travagant hilarity, some Of which is attached
to the names of men known beyond their
sociabiity, but they are not susceptible Of
corroboration
Another night Of singular and artistic in
toxication was enjoyed by party Of Ger
mans, a ma jority of whom belonged to the
Liederkranz club There is a wine room on
the east side curiously fitted up in resem-
blance to the crypt of an old Bavarian mon-
astery. The vaulted ceiling, stone walls,
cobwebby corners, and big casks are all
there, and the wines on sale are mostly
RGeinish. while the bears are all imported
from Germany Only the customers Of
Durer'S era are lacking to Complete the
medieval scene. In this carousal, however,
all are complete, for the jewellers wore the
correct garb, as copied from Durer's pictures,
musicians used the queer wini instruments
of his time, and the swallowed alcohol served
TO make the mimicry jovial in its Stiffness.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12


At the next meeting Of the board Of public
by committee, and pressed for final action,
for the introduction of cooking as one of the
branches of study in the girls normal school.
1t has been found and SO sts 'Hd in the official
reports to the board that the time given to
sewing in that school, which was taken from
the time formerly devoted to other studies,
has not lowered the standard in those stud
les and that, on the contrary, the change Of
employment has reacted benefic:ally upon
them Professor George W. Fetter, princ,-
pal OF the normal school, is of the opinion
that cooking may be added by slightly mol
flying the curriculum, with results equally
advantageous to the the school.
Professor Fetter considers that two or
three hours a week, after the actual instruc-
tion in cooking begins, will be sufficient time
to devote to this subject He thinks that
the expense of such a school would amount
only to tho pay of a teacher and to the out
lay for the necessary fixtures, as there
are four or five rooms with ranges, exit upon
the street, etc, in the basement which are
not used as class rooms, and which are ad-
mirably adapted to this purpose; and he
says, as the food can be readily disro sed of
at cost to the large number of girls who at
tend The school and who would no doubt
prefer those well-prepared hot meals to the
cold lunches which they now bring with
them This consumption of food Is not
opened to the objection raised by all educa-
tors to production as an end in industrial ed
pcation.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12
A Yachtsmsn's Fate.

About q fortnight before Christmas the
yacht lolanthe, with three men on board,
sailed out of Port Philip bay, Victoria, and
was never seen again The 26eh of December
huge white shark was caught at Frankston,
. small village near Melbourne. Some of
the loungers on the beach facetiously sug-
gssted that relics of the missing crew might
b, looked for inside the fish. The shark,
therefore, was cut open, and in its stomach
were actually found human hand, a mass
of sodden rags, a broken wooden pipe, and
gold watch and chain. The watch was
Immediately recognized as having belonged
to one Of the yachtsmen who had been on
board the lolanthe.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12
Bernhardt's Cosmetics.
Boston Transcript

1t is duly chrunicled that the cosmetics
which Nine. Bernhardt uses to make her
self more beautiful than nature cost her for
each representation of "Theodoran about 30
francs In the first place she needs about a
litre and q half Of distilled rose water to
wash her face, neck and arms. Then she
uses pot Of cold cream to prepare the skin
to receive the artistic surface. She next ap-
plies the white to her face, neck, arms and
hands-a process involving considerable
outlay of time and money. Then the check,
and ears are tinted with the most expensive
rouge obtainable. Afterwards tho lips are
touched up with pommade carminee Qadies
will oblige by translating this, the eyebrows
are penciled and the nails are carefully
powderei
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12
Nicetie Of Street Car Driving.
New York Sun


"a man may be able to drive a coach or a
wagon" said the foreman Of the Third ave-
nue. street railroad stables, "and still make
Some gresnhOrns become good drivers in a
week; Others are no good. suppose it looks
easy enough to drive q street car. 1t is easy
enough on country road, like the suburbs
Of Newark, for instance, but it's stiff
enough job in this city, particularly on
some line. There's big difference in
drivers. Out Of 100 you will find twenty
five who understand their work thor
oughly down to the finest details.
Fifty more will be good drivers though not
so attentive to their cattle rs they should be-
The remainder merely get through with
their work. Agood driver wants a strong
constitution and cool head. He knows tina.
the place to make time is not going down
hill. He always looks ahead, particularly
when he's nearing a crossing. II team
suddenly crosses the track and he hasn't time
to stop the car with the brakes he will un-
hook the team and run them to one side
He'll see that each horse does his share, and
If he notices that either of the horses doesn't
take kindly to the work he'll mention it
when he gets to the stable. word in time
sometimes saves horse fit of sickness, or
worse
The man who stands the work best
doesn't drink anything stronger than coffee
Whisky spOils man for cold weather The
men can usually stand cold weather better
than hot They can wrap themselves up
warmly, but don't seem able to keep cool.
Hot weather seems TO affect their leg.
Though it's many years since first drove
car, can remember how it broke me up. /
didn't mind it much the first day. Then for
couple OF days my arms were so numb had
no strength 10 them, and for days every
bone in my body was sore. At the end of a
week was all right and fit for work. 1t
isn't an easy life, and few men who can get
anything to do in another line undertake to
drive street car, and play brakeman and
drive at the same time
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12

lChlcago tribune Around Town."
Speaking Of your American girl abroad, :"
said a party from Canada whom l met the
other evening, II don't care where you find
her-snd I've Travelled lit myself-your
American girl is usua ly up with the proc ,s-
sion. l mat her once at q bail in Hamilton,
Ont There were lot Of our English
army fellows there. and they have a
pretty good notion of eheir personal
importance, some o; them, you know,
The particular girl in question who happened
to be there had just come over from Chicago,
and was quite the craze in Hamilton society.
One Of the fellows suggested to Capt -,
Of the Guards, that he'd like to introduce
hun. 'Awh, an American girl, chr said tn
captain, twirling his mustache. Wants te
know me, eh! Well, don't mind me boy
Trot her up if you like A friend repeated
this to the lady, and when the captain got
around her way and was introduced, she
surveyed him calmly and said: 'Ah, it's an
officer, isn't itl I don't like it-trot il
hack ~
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12
A Kingdom Of Contrasts.


Love rules kingdom Of contrasts Heine
dreaming of angels, married a gIisette. Frey
tag turned from courts to kitchen and
espoused his housekeeper. Bacon master Of
philosophy, was joinei to a woman who hat
a lout voice and dressed like chambermaii
out on holiday. What is more piteou:
than poor Keats pouring out all the typical
luxuriance of his soul to Fanny Brawnl HI
is poet, she a feminine commonplace
Idolatry on the one side, a ming ling o
curiosity and vanity on the other.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-12
A Montana View Of 1t.
IHaIano uaroil1

We suppose Miss Mackay, by marriage to
prince, becomes princess The one had
wealth and the other a title, neither of
which they have ever done anything to earn
for themselves. The marriage is a trade in
which botn are as likely to be cheated as to
make a winning. Wealth and title are both
un ,arsfying to a sensible, well-bala aced
mind. and still more so to a large, generous
hungry heart We should have thought
more of Miss Mackay if she had married
some American of character and ability,
rather one known chiefly for his name Or
if she would have married some poor young
foreign artist of first-rate ability We should
have thought her choice more sensible and
her future more likely to be happy.