Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-12-09
WIT AND HUMoR.

LOOK nerel wish You WOul0 ox-
plain how this got into one OF your Oh
gars. said man. rushing into Fifth
avenue tobacco store and holding up Q
little strip of calico. The manufacturer
eyed it with disgust and exclaimed:
.sIt's those new girls again. They don't
seem to know tho difference between q
Mother Hubbard and a Connecticut
wrapperr Pstts6nrg Chronicle Iele-
grGfh-
Li{e-insurance agent-ssC Come, let me
make you out . policy.
Mr.. Dusenbury- Mot today. sir. -
why note The premium on @20.-
600 wouldn't be much. It would be q
nice sum to leave your wife. "
''I said mot TO day sir. Now / say.
never sirl A handsome young widow
with $4,000 is the most dangerous
legacy aman could leave behind him. =
-i7tstudelphia Call.
An exchange relates an instance OF
man with q hardened liver dying.
We believe this is usually fatal COM
plant Aman may have hard head,
or conscience, or heart and live for
years, but very few men survive hard
ened liver more than a year or so at
the outside. Lancet
Only eight American poets have lived
beyond the ago of 60 This shows the
power of the press. s.--lierchGalt 1rGUeier.
A couple Of Viennasdoctors recently
gave younger colleague mark OF
delicate attention. They sent him q
letter bearing both their signatures.
stating that desiring to celebrate his
anniversary by presenting him with
something he never possessed, they re-
quested him TO accept as a birthday
present the bearer of their missive, q
patient, to treat him well, and keep out
of harms way. -Neste Freie Presse.
There isn't fly in our sanctum. We
ran them all out We hung up q $5
bill by string. where the wind would
wave it. and the flies that had laid
around this sanctum for years and new
er seen one, took it for some kind of q
green monster that would catch them,
and lit out We have not patented our
device for there isn't another sanctum
in the country that can produce bill
to try the scheme with. h.--EvGHsville
argus.
Nurse to fashionable mother-The
baby is very restless, ma'am. ! can't
do anything with her.
f. M.-She's teething, / suppose.
N.-Yes' m. / think if you was to
take her in your arms q little while it
might soothe her.
+. Mp Impossible! / haven't the
time to spare. l am just making ready
to attend meeting of the Society for
the prevention OF Cruelty to Children.
Give baby some paregoric.- Boston
{ G0urieg. s
ssWho did itpn is the title of = new
book by Lillian Spencer. We don't
know positively who did il. but we al
ways thought that il was that little
dirty-faced cuss on the next scat back
of us, for We saw him with pin in his
hand not two minutes before We sat
down, and when we extracted that
bent one from the seat of our pants be
didn't have any pin, but he had hard
work TO keep from bursting with laugh
ter at the way we jumped. DaBviile
Breezc.
The man who drives the sprinkling-
cart revives the ancient feud, turns on
the water with start, and almost
browns the dude; the man who draws
the lager-beer awakens from his sloth
and does it so that very nearly al Of il
is froth; the man who eats bananas
drops the peelings on the street, the
man who follows after d0ps along for
twenty feet, and, so on, half q hundred
things combine to make Il clear the
heated term. with all it brings of cuss-
edness, il here.
A Kentucky hen. while being driven
out0f neighbor's garden, leE fall an
egg, which the woman who drove her
out picked up and utilized. A suit was
brought In court to recover the price
OF the egg, when it was decided that
''the egg being laid on the premises of
the defendant it was her egg An
appeal was taken to higher court,
when this decision was reversed on ac-
count Of the word '1aid'' having been
used. The hen did not lar tho egg,
but dropped ii. Boston Journal. -