The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-06-04
A PlcAyuNE IN PERIL.
BY MEMO.

"My bride is the church," compass
sionately announced the Rev. Narcis-
sus Picayune, looking with fatherly
tenderness upon the upturned faces OF
his audience.
of the church of Hillsburg, to which
the reverend gentleman had been re-
Gently called by the almost unanimous
vote of the congregation. 1t is true,
few old fogies were contented with tho
management and ways OF his predeces-
sor, kind old Mr.. Bonnspuer, but they
were decided minority.
The women, dear creatures, who, a.
though commanded to keep silent in
the church, have no such embargo laid
upon their speech at home and abroad,
discussed all the pros and cons of the
subject. The young ladies especially
insisted that Hillsburg needed an ener-
getic person, full of vim; N short,
young man.
For" they argued, "if in politics
and tho state young blood and ideas
are requisite to give an impetus i'll the
march of progress, why not also in re-
igion?"
For once the middle-aged spinsters
and widows did not ebuke the forward
ness of those whom they usually called
"chits of girls"
So the matter was decided. Old Mr..
Bonnspuer was snubbed so persever-
ingly that oven his eyes, slow to see
evil, awakened to the fact that he had
worn his welcome in Hillsburg thread
bare. Wounded to the heart that those
whom he had loved and served through
evil report and good report should
now in his old age desire to be rid of
him, he rendered his res gnation, which
having been Immediately accepted he
departed, sincerely mourned by few
friends, who would have been perfectly
willing to jog along the narrow way,
following his sure if not rapid guild
ance.
Being thus rid of the old love, the
congregation naturally lost no time in
providing itself with new. But in
desiring a man young in years but old
In wisdom, who could hate SIN but love
a sinner, himself an embodiment of
every virtue, the good people of Hills
burg we're unconsciously seeking
Scion and Solomon combined.
Naturally, some time elapsed before
such one could be found. At length,
however, Rev. Narcissus Picayune was
invited to occupy the pulpit SO long
filled by Mr. Bonnspuer.
Youth, at least, he possessed. If
other scarcely less important qualifica-
lions were lacking. this was not APP
parent to the partial eyes of his judges,
since to q sanctimonious air and o glib
tongue he united unbounded assurance,
and a thorough conviction of his own
superiority, mental and moral, to the
common herd, which placed him COM
fortably beyond the arrows of adverse
criticism.
Having accepted the call, in few
weeks he was domiciled at Hillsburg.
Like the great Caesar, he came, he saw,
he conquered. Never had there been
such a stir in the parish. "Truly, a
great awakening" SAID the sober heads
of families, as their daughters forsook
the allurements of the dance and the
roller-rink to drink from the Pierian
spring of the Rev. Narc:ssus' elo-
quence.
The young men were not quite so en-
thusiastic; but, as they speedily dis
covered that depreciatory hint of the
newcomer was sure to provoke storm
Of indignation from his fair adherents,
they also went over TO the maiority-to
all appearances, at least.
Many were the innovations made by
the new parson. All were eagerly ac-
cepted. Mr. Bonnspuer had been con-
tent with Sunday and semi-weekly
services. This ardent young neophyte
insisted upon having a service twice
daily. As heating the main building
proved rather expensive, he decided to
hold forth in the lecture-room adjoin-
ing the church. IL was here that he
made the remark which opens this
veracious chronicle.
Quite often lately il had flashed
across the empty vastness of his mind
that the femaleeiement IN Lis congre-
cation largely predominated.
Could IL be that devotion 10 the man
and not the cause OF religion inspired
them? Perish the thought What n
misfortune to be endowed with such
powers of fascination What, should
any earthly love usurp the heart de-
voted 10 spiritual bride?
In the still hours of the night he re-
solved to state his intentions gently but
firmly on the morrow.
disappointment will be better than
susps nse for the poor creatures" said
ne TO himself; II could not marry them
all anyhow"