davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-10-07

The fHtHfffr III Mrxirc L.s Ln.u In

The interior N Mexico his been in.
ya1ed ny swarms nj grasshoppers from
ms United Gtates, which ire commit.
Ting terrible havoc Jhe SKY " obscur.
"a ny them, md The farmers 20 gun.
ming f0r them with shotguns. Enorn.
6Hs damage his been done 10 The
ftrfJna
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-10-07

4 crank signing himself Henri \,
Kerp. prssfoeDt-eIecs 81 the United
Ssates, aas written a letter 10 Prssl
dent CasYsland telling bsm that bis
functions are 10 longer required, and
th&s Ill acts made b. him after October
3 will be null and void.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-10-07

There were f1rty.17e deasSs from
small pm IN Montreal INIT YrIday, Dur.
ing NE week ending Pr;day n;gbs there
Wsse m deasSs in Canada, M m
WIfsjef, were3s Montreal, There s4ems
u, M No @t,abemeGt IN tas 1oasissDme
SfszasH.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-10-07

Jsse mn Gspzs0asag Mn essaD7e NE
ga@st fsl,sa M zezysI@s &ymy desa1i1d
~ w@sns ly@kssSs t1taD, On J@g. +, Hsese
s<sSag M fes,H safssesAs0Y jasye 10 paY
4gy5ss GtsgssnAs,gs<
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-10-07

All druggists cell DR.. X. stone's
Bronchial Waters, the great pleasant
and safe throat remedy, They are
worthy Of a trial. % cents.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-10-07
We5nesAaye on. q, nsz.
J@nS me MIN Essla yssnaAs IN
NsgaesDee, z<g5S n wa1a sssals IN
Hessasyaa M,sssG7>

ySps@az sas Dszaa 1Sgwsas Viz Fri
gags@ss mn sgrsaSs saa n Dsg mi
1,1<lsg was mn se M remit
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-10-07
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.

Sr COMFY ~ on br"Mo IN PROBATE COURT
In the matter Of the Estate or EleT EefIson de-
ceased.
Notice Is hereby giv'n to persons having
claims and demands again.t the estate of Elef
Elefson late Of tneCounty Of Brown deceased. that
will hear, examine, and adjust cIaims and de-
mands against said estate, ut his Office in the City
OF New Ulmin said county, on the first Monday Of
Ing with the first Monday in November 1885; and
that six months from the nth day Of September
1886 have been limited and allowed BY said Probate
Cont for creditors to present their claims.
OLE JORGENSEN,
Administrator with the will annexed OF the es-
tate OF Eleff ETC ffson, deceased. Oct ID
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16
the state penitetiary.

What's the reason You didn't
speak to Jones when he passed us
inst now" Gle insulted me
the other day" What did he
say to you ?" He called me an old
ass" Called you au old ass.
How ridiculouSl Why, you are
not old! You are just in your
prime! You will not be an old
ass for ten or fifteen years yet"
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

You are not looking WE'LL
No., | have been laid up for a
week past. l had the misfortune
to let a horse run away with me-"
You got off right easily. Ny
brother had an accident with a
horse, and he will be laid up much
longer than you will" $50 q
horse a away with him TOO Z"
NO, he Runaway with the horse,
but the sheriff overlook him next
day. He will be laid upive years
tn the state penitetiary."
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

A couple Of tons Of powder ex-
ploded in Salt Lake City the other
day w~recking everything in the
neighborhood and shaking the
whole town. A deaf old woman
who lived a couple OF blocks away
pricked up her ears and SAID /;
"Come in" Then she sand to her
daughter Claw nae, | do be-
lievo Tine getting back my hear
ing.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

Yes" said Fogg. q like to
deal with Snip you can always
depend upon what he says, you
know. lie told me the last suit Of
clothes l bought of him would
wear like iron. And SO it did,
exactly like iron /; it lookd as rusty
as the old boy in less than, three
months"
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

A wise man does not often al
low it to be seen that his own
estimate of himself is higher than
that which his associates and,
people generally place upon him.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

All, sweet he says, with all
the tender spirit beaming in his
eyes. " Is not this lovelyi The
perfect peace over hill and dale,
the splashing waters OF the rest
less G far below us, the tink-
ling lights breaking one by one
on the growing darkness. Is it
not divine! 1T is divine my
darling" Thcre.is a FLASHING of
two lips, soft as the murmor of the
sea itself, and the door behind
them opens, a gru1f unsentiment-
al voice breaks Oh the growing
darkness like the crack Of Il plank.
"Iou darned fools, don't You know
those steps have just been paint
ed q And that fellow never sees
a sunset now buthe thinks Of tur-
pentine.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

The amount of labor the Eng
lish spend over a pun is well
known, but if they have a war with
Russia in Afganistan they will find
more trouble with their Puniaub
than ever.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

An agricultural journal says :
Spring is the best time IN the
year to move bees" 1t may be (;
but ifa bee settles on your neck,
or any other portion OF your anat-
omy, in the fall, don't wait until
spring to move it.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16


Because a nan is a poor devil
in this world is no sign ne wont
make a good one in the next.
The fool knows nothing Of shame
a man can hold up his head under
any circumstances when there is
nothing in it.
We puts de mos valne on de
thing what am de slSarsest. OATS
de eason dat truth creates sich a
stir IN du mNrkUt.
When the weather is cold, and
everything is frozen up, the shiv-
ering dude says he would like to
thee thaw," and chen he teeters.
Some Indians use tortoise shell
scalping-knlves, probably on ac-
count Of the old fable, in which
it was alleged hat the tortoise got
away with the hare.
Mother, | think the spinal yer
zebra OF the frigid season has re-
cOived a severe fracture, remark
ed the high school girl to her mo
ther. Yes remarked the old
lady, q expected your father
would hurt that dog when he threw
the poker at him"
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

The eyes OF all England are
on me and all her armies are
drawn up against me" Nonsense,
Dan. What are YOU talking
about Are you crazy, Dan
"Crazyl Not a bit Of it. I've
Just made a party to a lawsuit ;
and, don't you see, Tine the Sued
Dan"
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

.NcTiCS.-To all whom II NAV concern. No
ticeis hereby given wsrninge All p.rsons fron,
occupying or In any way trespassing on the
premises held by me Ss a %presuption risht a
part or which have boon in actual p6ssos-
slon or since hay, IS, 1850, and that have
improved and been in constant possession
on AZ or SAID laad since November II. 1881.
SAID land and preemption right is known and
dessrihed as folowst to wit. Tho s. x. l4ofE SI4
sssnon ~, Township 9. s. Range. II and tho
h1B. II or the Y. N. II OF section 3e. Town.
slrp, &, Houth Of RANGE "a. ".
IAHHs \. TeMINsoR. Locator.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16
A Boy C~ogitallsnI

! notice stagnant waters mostly
run shallow.
l notice Jcn won't ever let her
beau Look in our family bible.
| notice a sho~y expensive fun
eral is a great healer Of q broken
Heart.
! notice still water gets it's repu-
tatlon for depth whether it has 1t or
not.
notice some people vii. spend
So 600 on a ball in order TO give
$50 TO charity.
notice the greatest men have
some little ailinga that makes them
contemplate at times.
I notice the readiest purse is the
one held by the man who blows
Che least about charity.
! notice when ignorance is bliss,
It's folly to tell ma who set the cat
on her pet c"""Fy' 49,,
| notice the man who owes a bill
goes where ne c"Ulu" gel "u9'e"
to spend his money.
no'lce l"e g'ri' WING ""'o Oh
love II co''Ase,aT o mighty scarce
ana see any 'l'l'@ 'e!'eI'
u"''Ve " ~Ie9'""i 0'''V" eau
page On0er rrelicn name Snl1l'"
a' sour Du' cosI' 'Nree 'i"''S is
'nuc" ~.
holce "'e 'oilo" "io Is 90" ".o
anu worn oO' ENJOY ""J'i'i's' 10
always 'eiii"S ABOUT 'nes so0o oio
'i'''A'
NOTICE Vhe same reno" masses
JU'' Us "lucli use oI '"e 'eI'P'0"9
Is amy "ouer" c'"P'
"o'ie' ''lo INA" WING e''SS'9
I'o'"'FI''-l'"S '"NoS "DiS'''J $oou
care 10 nave '"e ora i"0y co"Fe"''
IN' ABOUT '"e ''"'e HID o"'ie' are
'',"
"''ic' '"q S""i' III" VINO 'ei''
i''o never y" "'''I,'' niI'S 'D'""
'"0 SUCH ,1'iE' "''H cue s'N'5 "
ois Sp'0"0 ""'' passes 1t '' ''t mex
'"n
"o'''0 VIC n"t"g't le''0" os0'
N',i"i o"' ~ ~ neiP ''N7 poor i0'i'
loudest about the Observation-Disclosures
of rich men.
l notice there's a powerful sight
more pursuasiyeno8s in the oath Of
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16
A wHoorIEG EVANGELIST
Gems from Brother Sam Jones, the
Georgia Preacher Now Stir
ring up Tennessee.

LUZ ll'"utdlIlo dIC pOu > JIOuSllh
upheaved. The rivers are Gods
thoughts in motion. The oceans
are Gods thoughts imbeded. The
dewdrops are Gods thoughts in
pearls.
| believe that the whale swallow
cd Jonah, and the only reason
that | don't believe that Jonah
swallowed the whale is because the
bible don't say so.
Iou don't believe what You don't
understand. Do you understand
why some COWS have horns and
some are muley
You don't believe what YOU don't
see. Did YOU ever see your back
bone?
The hardest thing for me to
believe are the Ten Command
ments and the Sermon on the
Mount.
Custom is the law of fools, and
running this country.
God pity the man who can't run
bis home without a deck of cards
lie oughtlto have beeu in hell
long before he had any children
born unto him.
| used to dance, but when |
wanted a wife | went to the prayer
meeting, and | beat your sort,
too.
lfany man don't like what | say,
let him come to me afterward and
say so, and Tll-forgive him.
You dance with this world and
you'll 60 to hell with this world.
l have no respect for Mahone's
politics, but ! like his answer to
the question how much he weigh
ed. He said 81 weigh ninety
five pounds, but ninety pouads OF
that is backbone"
Some mel think they have
backbone but tits nothing but a
cotton string run up their backs.
There is more religion in laugh
ing than crying. If religion con-
sists in crying, | have the best boy
in the world.
| photographed your own ug.i-
ness and you sit here and laugh at
it, you ought to be ashamed.
[ am a Methodist and want to
be the best one God ever made.
When St. Peter said add to
your knowledge temperance, he
didn't have reference to you, old
red-nosed Methodist. Any man
who pretends to be a Christian and
drinks whiskey is a great big old
humbug-a two-leggca hypocrite.
Society is a heartless old wretch,
if you don't get out Of it youwill go
to hell with 1t.
When the doctor saws Won can't
live an hour you'll want just
such a preacher as is talking to
you.
God bores through the top Of a
mans head to his heart, and on
down to his pocket.
The lawyer who knows as little
about Blackstone and the Supreme
Court reports as the average Chris
tain dees about rhe Bible would
meyer have but one case. The
Sheriff would be his next client.
Ifany of you Don't like the way
these services are going there are
three doors-you are cordially
asked to leave.
When your little cups tull you
car inst back out.
Red liquor and Christianity
wont stay in the same hide.
In a Georgia town a number of
girls married men to reform them,
and noM-the 1own-is ull of little
whippoorwiIl widdews.
How lovely is the patient woman.
God pity the man who has a fork
ed-tongued wife.
The matter of church doctrine
is an accident. Ifmy mother and
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

In the hands Of Young men THE

In the hands Of Young men THE
great system has been SO carefully
managed that It has earned a repp
tatlon second to none for convent
ence, safety and the luxulios Of
travel. 1t is f2st becoming the
popular route Tor transcouunentaD
travel, ia connection with the
Southern Pacific railroad.
has opened up an almost I'M
limited field for pioneer enterprise
in The far West. No other rail-
road can carry q man, who is seek
ing his fortune, to goidca oppor.u
mites such as are open along =
thousand miles Of this great sys
tenn.
SpeciaI freight rates are given to
minors and immigrants.
For all the Information you de-
sire write to
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-16

the hnc where the Lord wants him
to draw it there would not be a
hundred men lett in the church.
The back door of the church
ought to be opened once a year
and give all who have not lived up
to its rules an opportunity to pass
out.
Bob Ingersoll (and | never call
his name without feeling the need
ola dia%infectant) says thst whisky
is Gods worst enemy and the
devils best friend. He is coed
authority ON that side.
Whiskey is a good thing in its
place, and hat place is in nell
If ! get there | will drink all |
al get, but | won't do it here.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-06-10
For women OnIy.

The prettiest girl in New Jersey
is said TO bea Chinese lass.
Many a merry maiden Is tread.
lug the elOpement path to the di.
vorcs court in this year Of hope
and folly
Tho Duke and Duchess Of Con.
naught, who are now in Meerut,
will remain in India for the pies.
eat.
A Dublin paper states that Gen;
KOmarof's grandmother was an
Irishwoman Of tho name Of Macna.
mara.
1t is only the woman who is
given away id marriage, The
man gives himself away before the
honeymoon is over.
The Canadians like American
girls very much-all except their
tendency to rapid and constant
talk and their pronunciation Of the
letter u as. though 1t were 90.
Nearly half the American sailing
ships bear the names Of women,
This is perfectly right as the rig.
ging is of more value than the
craft itself.
With a doctor for d father and a
doctor for a husband, and a drug.
gist fOt a mother, Emma Nevada
finds no difficulty in experiencing
a chill.
Mrs. Ruthford B. Hayes, at her
own expense, purchased and equip.
ped a house in d Southern city
where cdloted girls may be taught
house service.
Miss Dora Miller young, beauti.
ful, an heiress, and the only child
Of Senator Miller Of California is
soon to be married to Lieut.. Rich.
ard Glover, Of the navy.
Louisa NJ. Alcott will writs
pleasant stories at Eonquit, Mass,
all summer, and, as she sticks to
the cottage she occupied last sum.
mer, it's nonquit all 'rouud.
A philadelphia pOetess exclaima
"oh, kiss me Onde aud let lne diel''
There are no objections to her dy.
iugi but why should she desire 10
kill some one else tOoP
In roller skating Irritation pSts
lance, when a skater sits down
very suddenly and very hard in
front of his lady love it is a slgu
that this is his first season on roller
skates.
Florence Marryatt recently ad.
vised the girls to "sit dOwti on the
men," Miss Maryatt should be In
formed at once that is a custom not
altogether unknown in this Soud.
NV
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-06-10
and see what Sam was doing. 81

and see what Sam was doing. She
appeared to understand bis wishes
In that direction, so she started on
a run TO help him out, or rather
in, She was a little late, but he
went about ten feet further into
the field than he would have done
without her assistance. There was
neither Of them so badly hurt as
they were when old Carlyle came
and told them that the cont was
that they should put the COW in
the yard. Instead of that, the COW
had put them in the yard, so the
dollar belonged TO himself as the
owner of the COW.
1t is thought a lawsuit will grow
out of the matter.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-06-10
Burdelte on .Home.s .

The song Of home grew out Of d
homeless life, as Milton sang Of light.
when be was blind and Bunyan
wrote Of The pilgrims progress
manacled in a prison. There is no
place like home. People who live
in boarding houses sing it. II the
daughter Of a Methodist minister
remembers the home Of her child.
hood, her memory must be a poly.
glot. Home is Eoman's temple.
There she is goddess and votary
both. She Is also usually janitor,
A man loves his home because il is
a refuge. He also loves it because
there be is a great man; there
he is governor, or at least he is
lieutenant.goVernor Andsnyhow
he is certain ls be secretary Of the
treasury, The world forgets us
when we pass away, but the home
love forgets our vices; exaggerateS
our virtues until they outnumber
the STARS in the heavens, and hands
our names down, as long as the
estate holds ont.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-06-10
Astruggle with a Cow.

There is nothing that demads
statesmanship of high order as
much as the driving Of a COW with
a young calf to any particular
place. Two Dallas colored men un.
dertook a job of this character yes,
terday, and although they gavethe
matter their careful attention, the
result was very far from satisfact.
ory to anybody but the COW, which
seemed to enjoy it very much
Sam and Bill were 10 get a dollar
to take the COW and calf and put
them in the yard Of the owner, Mr..
Thomas Carlyle, who lives at the
south end Of Elm street. After try.
ing in vain to get the COW to un'
derstand in which direction they
preferred she should 90, Sam and
Bill called a cabinet meeting, at
which the following campaign plan
was agreed upon: Sam was to take
up the calf in his arms and go
ahead, while Bill was to hold the
COW back by the rope which was
fastened TO her horns.
"Ef she goes too fast" said Bill,
"I'll jest hold her back"
"And eff she don't follow fast
enough, I'll jest twist de calls tail,
aud den she will come rightalOng,"
said Sam.
Sam took up the calf and went
ahead, while Bill, in order to get
real good hold, tied the rope around
his wrist. The procession proceed.
ed slowly in the desired direction,
and would have reached its desti.
nation in safety had not Satan
tempted bill to get of joke on,
Sam, so he called out:
"sam, jest twist dat calls tail"
Sam did so, and the calf bleated
as if it was opposed to an encore to
the performance.
The old COW began to trot. So
did Sam, holding on to the calf as
if he had stolen it. Then the fun
began. For every once in a while
the COW would polish her horns in
the ceiling of Sans pants. Bill
could not get bis hands out Of the
rope, and, as he had short legq, he
had hard work keeping up with
the procession, or rather in not let
ting go. He ran so fast that the
kinks in his wool Strengthened out.
Finally he gasped;
"sam, ontwisl dat CATS tall"
Sans legs moved SO rapidly that
they looked like the spOkes of a
buggy, but he called back.
"LoOk out dar, don't let 60 dat
rope, de cows a gainin' on me-"
"Drap de caf; SAM" called poor
Bill, whose arm was coming out Of
its socket "Drap de caf, for l can't
keep up wild de COW. Go slow, or
I'll turn de COW loose on you"
which, however, was moro than be
was able to do.
Bill made the next fifty yards on
his back, he still most unwillingly
retaing bis hold on the rope. For.
tunately, the COW overlook Sam,
and in return ior his kindness in
picking up the calf, she picked him
up on her horns and threw him
over into Mr.. Catlyle's yard. Bill,
who was rather tiFed.of chasing the
COW, thought be would climb over
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-06-10
Mission of the False Prophet.

The term "Mahdi" is approx.
mately translated Messiah" The
Mahdi's heaven.imposed mission is
neither national nor political, but
religious. The territory which he
claims and the people whose allegl.
ance he demands are limited solely
by his geographical ignorance.
Either he is the looked.for spiritual
head Of the whole world, who is to
mite all nations under and Islam
purified of its existing abuses or he
is nothing. He is either the Mes.
siah which was to come or an i'm.
poster. Avoiding a more exact
parallel, which might seem irrev.
erent, an attempt to negotiate with
such leader might bO compared
to an offer made by the Mobamme.
dan leader to Peter the Hermit Of
the crown Of Franks il he would re.
frain from prosecuting the Cru.
sades.
The Mahdi's aims repeated in
innumerablo proclamations are to
drive those who refuse TO recognize
his divine mission into the sea, 10
be proclaimed in the holy city Of
Mecca, and destroy the false Cali.
phate at stamboul. He is equally
hostile to the senoussi, the Sultan,
Arab, and Mr.. Blunt. His only
adherents are those who will take
the sword and kill all who refuse
his faith throughout the world.
He is the successor Of numerous
impostOrs who, not having the for.
tune to be opposed by British
statesmen, have failed to achieve
equal prestige. Defeat alone can
destroy that prestige.-LOndon
Times.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-06-10

The story is told OF the Rev
James Patterson of Philadelphia
that he once said, in a circle Of hii
brethren, that he thought minis,
terS ought to be humble and poor
like their Master. "T have often
prayed" said he, "that / might be
kept humble; l never prayed that
l might bo pOor-I could trust my
church for that"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-06-10

There was no explanation given
even TO Lily Of ihS sacrifce Of
Ruth's young life, butbefore Christ.
mas there was a wedding, and in
welltotd place old friends once
more gathered round the bridS,
Never could she entirely forget the
long years Of sorrow, but 10 her
husbands love she tihds her cOm'
pensation for her saerifee.