The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-30

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nice, like other women ?" Mr.. Jarphly
was seated at the dinner table in very
cranky humor. He had had a hot dis
cussion with man upon Civil Service
Reform, and the man told him he knew
nothing about the matter, and called
him a "galoot. Not only had he
called Mr.. Jarphly "galoot," but he
had added insult to injury by citing
facts and figures to prove it. He was
a bigger man than Mr.. Jarphly, SO the
latter had bottled up his wrath and
brought it home for his wife.
Some men have that habit.
"Why can't you get up appetizing
dishes like other women?" continued
the disgusted Civil Service Reformer.
"Why, I can, JEREMIAH" quietly re-
marked Mrs. Jarphly, whose compla-
cency was not to be disturbed by any
ebullition of temper on the part of the
Reformer, for the lady had that morn
ing spent three hours in engineering a
dilapidated polonaise into basque to
match dark overskirt and having,
by the assistance of much pursuing of
lips and bending of eyebrows, and
navigating of scissors-points in geomet-
rical lines over her knees, accomplish
ed the feat, felt placid equanimity
known to all true women who have
conquered dilapidated polonaise.
"No, you DON'T" snapped Mr..
Jarphly "You spend money enough
for things, but you amt got the know
how! u
Mrs. Jarphly smiled, and Mr.. Jarphly
wondered if he could borrow money
enough to take him to Alaska.
"There's Mrs. Ploughgit," he con-
tinued. "Why can't you cook like
her? 1 went to dinner the other day
with Ploughgit, and what do you sup
pose they had?"
"What ?"
"They had lots of things, but what
took my eye was some carrots My,
but they were delicious. I didn't eat
anything else-nothing but just those
carrots They'd been sliced and fried,
and Mrs. Ploughgit had them fixed out
with a white sauce with some sort of
sour things in it-a, what do you call
'em?"
"Capers?" suggested Mrs. Jarphly.
eyes, capers, l tell you, but it was
an immense dish"
"Mrs. Ploughgit mebbe can afford
such things" quietly remarked Mrs.
Jarphly.
"Aford!" cried Jarphly in derision.
"Why l asked her, and what do you
think it cost ?''
elbow much 2''
"Two cents p fairly yelled Jarphly.
"Yes'm, two cents That's what it
costs Mrs. Ploughgit to get up dish
fit to set before king She used two
big carrots, and they cost her just one
cent apiece in the market, she told me.
Now, why can't you do something like
that? ?"
Mrs. Jarphly opened her lips to make
reply, but like a sensible woman
closed them again, and allowed Mr..
Jarphly to enjoy his ill humor.
At dinner next day Mr.. Jarphly
found a dish of fried carrots done up
in style that beat Mrs. Ploughgit's all
hollow.
"Well, I declare, Martha" he ex-
claimed, "you do know something.
These are splendid.
Mrs. Jarphly smiled.
Mr.. Jarphly vigorously applied him.
self to the dish. CHOW just look how
we'll we can live on little expenditure
if we can only have the know how, !"
he remarked, with feeling of self lau-
dation, for having impregnated Mrs.
Jarphly's mind with notion of dress
ed carrots. "That's as good as roast
beef to me any day, or spring chicken
either" said he, "and If you'd only
use little skill and brains you could
easily save enough out of the table
money to buy yourself spring silk
every year"
"Not on carrots" quietly remarked
Mrs. Jarphly.
"What !" exclaimed her husband
"Not on carrots, Jeremiah. I'd just
as lief, so far as expense goes, give you
spring chicken or roast turkey, for that
matter"
"Why, Martha, you must be crazy !"
cried Mr.. Jarphly.
"Not at ALL" placidly responded
Mrs. Jarphly. "You wanted carrots
done up like Mrs. Ploughgit's and l
did 'em for you. They cost about 6
shillings."
"Go away"
"Fact," cody replied Mrs. Jarphly.
elbow in thunder do you make that
out p
"Carrots, I cent. Half pound OF
butter to fry them brown in, I6 cents.
Quart of milk for sauce, 8 cents. Two
eggs to break in the sauce, S cts.
Bottle of capers, 40 cents. Half a
teaspoonful of Liebig's to give a
piquant taste to the sauce flavor, SC
cents a small jar. Of course"
"Oh, shut up! !"
"Jeremiah, the next time you dis
cover dish that l can save up spring
silk on, just bring it around, won't
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