davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
Lotus Literary Society.

The exercises Of this society oc-
cured as usual on Friday evening
PROGRAM.
Music-Miss Lizzie Givens.
Rcading-Miss Hattie Mathis.
Essay-Miss Annie Smith.
Music-Miss Mamie Rust.
Rcading-Miss Halle llanberry.
Music-Miss Ida Burks.
News and Notes-Miss Carrie Cox
Music-Miss Sallie Rust.
Criticism-Prof. Daniel.
The proceedings were better than
usual. The young ladies show much
talent aud taste in these entertain
ments which arc Ola solid, substantIa
character.
A vote OF thanks was rendered Il
Mr.. Chas. NJ. Mcacham, editor of tn
Souri, KENTucKIAS, for copies o
his paper containing the history o
the war In the Soudan.
VISITOR.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
socIALITIES.

Col. Fcnton Sims, of Cadiz, is at
tending Court.
Mr.. Ben Roscnbaum, has gone
East to buy goods.
Mr.. Jos. Fry has gone East to lay
in his spring stock.
Mr.. G. B. B0slwick left for Rus
sellville the first of the week.
Dr. viii Radrorl, of Longview,
was in the city Tuesday.
Mrs. Tbos. l.. Graham left Wednes-
day on visit to the N. y. EXPOSE
ton.
Mr.. aud Mrs. j. W. Pritchitt left
to-day to visit the New Orleans Ex-
position.
Mrs. Montgomery Adams, OF
Church Hill, is convalescing, after a
severe spell Of Illness.
Misses Emma and Lee Campbell
left Wednesday to visit the New Or
leans Exposition.
Mrs. RObt. Holland, Il charming
young widow, of Paducah, is in tho
city visiting her father, Mr. +, NJ
Whitlow.
Miss Clara Pratt left last Monday
for her home In Lancaster, Ohio
whittier she was called by the illness
of her father.
Mr.. Jas. S. Parish, of Oak Grove
attended court the first part of tht
week. Ills Ilopkinsvillc friends arC
always glad 10 see him.
Mr.. aud Mrs. Stephen Long, o.
Russcllvillc, spent several days II
the city this week. Mr. Long wal
called 10 the city bv business Ii
Circuit Court.
DIR. Jno. =. Bell, of Longview, re
turned from Medical College at Lou
isville, Tuesday, a full-nedged NJ. ID
lie won the Yandcll Medal, the frs
prize, IN a graduating class of 10, ant
had n position offered him in the hos
pital at Louisville. lie will proba
bly, hang out his shinglc at his hom
near Longview, as the recent dealt
of DIR. Clardy has made an opening
there for a good doctor
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06

Neither mental nor physical labor
can be accomplished satisfactorily
unless the system is in order. When
you feel tired, languid, wearied with
out exertion, the mind slow to act,
and requiring great mental effort,
you can rest assured that your Liver is
not acting properly, and that nature
requires assistance to help throw of
impurities. There is no remedy that
will accomplish this so mildly and
yet effectually as Prickly Ash Bit;ers,
A trial will satisfy you of its merits
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06

Thos. Vaughn, foreman of the
bridge hands, fell from the llcnder-
son bridge last Friday and was killed.
This makes about half a dozen men
killed during the construction of the
bridge.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06

Moody, the evangelist, has been
working Louisville this week. lie
preached to immense crowds twice a
day. He left Wednesday for Spring
field, Ill.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
4 LARGE AND ENE

stock Of Perfumery.
Toilet Soaps, Combs
and Brushes, Cosmi-
tique and toilet arti-
cles generally, also a
fine stock Of station
cry j u S t received at
J. r. Armistead's.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06

Mr.. ]. f. Hillman, commonly
known as Cap lillman, died at Au-
rora. XIV, Feb. Oath. He was for
meriy a well-known business man OF
Cadlz. lie leaves wife aud four
sons.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06

We were not burnt
out in the recent fire
but will meet the mar
ket on all goods. Try
us and we will con-
vince you. You can
buy Domestics and
Dry Goods of all
kinds, as cheap from
us as a n y w h e r e.
Just received n e w
Hambergs, Torchons,
Check Muslins, Linen
Collars, Handker-
chiefs. Cos m ers
for Ladies, Mis- S Q S
and Childre en- very
cheap.
Very Respectfully,
| JONES & co.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
G. w. Quicker

Has on hand a n i c e
lin Q ofC arri a G Q S,
Buggies, Barouches,
Etc, and the time has
come when you will
n e e d something Of
this kind. These We
hicles are his o w n
manufacture, which
is a sufficient guaran-
tee Of their quality as
he has had a long ex-
perience in this bust
ness and is fully ac-
q u a i n t Q d with the
wants Of the people.
Repairing ofall kinds
done in the best posi-
BILE manner and salts
faction guaranteed in
every respect. AS TO
prices he defes COM
petition.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
Old Reliable
M. FrankeI & Sons.

FOR S-ALG-
5 room cottage, in good repair, cor
ner Virginia and Jackson streets
Apply to j. W. Hayes at Jones &
Co. no.16-lm
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
NEW HOME.

anyone de iring to
purchase o. NeW Home
Sewing Machine at q
BARGAIN, will call at
this office.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
Dissolution Notice.

The partnership heretofore exist
ing under the name of Young 81 Cald-
well is lhis day dissolved by mutual
consent Feb. II, 1885.
GEO. YOUNG,
SMITH CALDWELL.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06

Gus Finley will be hanged in
Floyd county Apr. II, for murder.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
SHELBY DUKE.

My thoroughbred bull, Shelby
Duke, will make the season at my
farm on the Steger's Mill road, at
$780, o,vs, my
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
W.

Shout the glad tldings all the land DER,
The "Grand Old Party" Is no more,
Wen have no more corrup ion and sin
Republicans are ont and Democrats in.
We've buried forever the party Of fraud,
Sing the doxology the Lord"
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
Assignee's Notice.

The creditors of the firm of John
Orr Il Co., are hereby notified toprc-
sent their claims to me properly
proven OH or before the LIST day of
April, 1885.
+. j. BRowNELL,
Assignee of John Orr & Co.
February 26, 1885.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06
SPECIAL LOCALS.
FRANKEL'S
BARGAINS

Our entire stock of
Winter Suits at 10
per cent less than
original cost. Ele-
giant line Of Overcoats
at halt price, Ladies'
and childrens Cloaks
at ruinous prices.
New Spring Clothing
has arrived and we
are offering great bar
gains in these goods.
Call and get first
choice Of the best as
sorted stock in the
State at astonishing
ly low prices.
Shoes for ladies
men, boys and chill
dren, extremely low
Call and buy one OIL
those elegant New
Spring Hats.
We are offering ev-
erything in our stock
at such prices thai
resistance of buying
is impossible. Be sure
to call.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-03-06

Com. VS.. Chas, Drake, c. G. d. Wea-
pons, three cases.
=" Geo. Payne, G. G. D. weap'ns.
+" &" Win. Baker, c. d. weap'ns.
4" Fields Greene. G. D.weap'ns.
d" Dick Radford, &C. d. weap.
i" Rein Nance, G. G. d. weap.
" Frasier Murphy, c. c. d.
weapons.
Jno. Ormsby, G. G. D. weap.
Geo, Montjoy, &C D. weap.
Ed Whitlock, c. G. d. weap'
/" Andrew Galbreath and Rho
da Richardson.
Monroe Mason. retailing
two cases.
Geo. Beazly, retailing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-11-25
JOSEPH SMITH. JOHN w. SMITH.
Joseph Smith & Co.'S
BUSINESS NOTICE.

Stockton P. o. N. J.
Having purchased the interest of
is. SLOWER in the Milling business
heretofore carried on at Prallsville
Mills by SMITHS & SLOWER, we will
continue the same, at the old stand,
and will endeavor to give satisfae-
ton to all our patrons.
Grist work will be done carefully
and promptly, and when desired by
customers we will always be pre-
pared to exchange Flour and Feed
for Grain, retaining only customary
toll.
The highest market price will be
paid for Grain, and selling prices,
both at wholesale and retail, will be
closely adjusted.
LUMBER DEPARTMENT.
We have added to the business at
Prallsville full assortment of Sea-
soned Pine and Hemlock Lumber,
which will be kept under cover and
sold in lots to suit customers, and at
very low figures.
FERTILIZERS.
Standard brands of Fertilizers,
suitable for both Spring and Fall
crops, always on hand at Prallsville.
REAL ESTATE AND INSUR-
ANCE DEPARTMENT.
The Real Estate and Insurance
business will be continued in LAM
BERTVILLE, on the corner of
Bridge and Union streets.
Insurance on Dwellings and con-
tents, Stores, Merchandise, Mills,
Factories, and Farm Buildings and
:rops will be done at low rates, in
the best of American and Foreign
ompanies.
Property will be bought or sold
on very reasonable terms, and money
will be loaned or secured on real
estate mortgages for a reasonable
commission.
JOS. SMITH & co.
Jan. 81, 1885.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-11-25
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD
BELVIDERE DIVISION.
Trains for New YORK. and Philadelphia

Trains for Netc York and Philadelphia
On and after September Il, 1886.
Leave Manunka Chunk $50 and 11OO a m. $50
and 700 pm.
Leave Belvidere 6.56 and HOG m, 2.57 and 705
pm.
Leave Phillipsburg 100 and 1872 a m, 1928 and
1850 pm.
Leave Frenchtown 1854 m, 1908, 4.Os and s.O7
pm.
Leave Pennington TAO and II 40 a M 400 m.
Arrive Lambertville 8.iS m, 10 80 and 1880 m.
Leave Lambertviile 705 and 1926 m, l2.4l, 4.37.
and 1888 pm.
Arrive Trenton TAB and 1853 a m, LIS 10, and
9.i0pm.
Arrive Philadelphia (Kensington) 9.f5 and 9.53
Arrive Philadelphia BROAD Street Staton) 1851
and $50 IN, 2.25, 6 % and 1890 m.
Arrive New York, via Trenton, 92o and 1910
N, 800, TO p M, and ~ 20 night.
Trains from Philadelphia and NeU York
Leave New York, via Trenton, 7.20, lilo a m,
90, $40 and 800 m.
Leave Philadelphia (Kensington) TAO a m, .05,
2.i0, 315 and 535 IN.
Leave Philadelphia BROAD Street station) 500
a IN, 1901, 800, 400 and 600 IN.
Leave Trenton s.oS m, 12o $50 450 and 7.o5
Arrive Lambertvillc 9ss m, i.S5, 4.25, $40 and
TAO m.
Leave Lambcrtville for Pennington $40 m. 1.57
and 523 m.
Arrive bennington 1912 M, 245 and $3.50 m.
Leave Lambertvile for Manunka Chunk 9 38
m, LOO, $40 and 7.40 IN.
Leave Frenchtown 1907 m, 2.22, 5.4S and s.iS
pm.
Leave Phillipsburg 9.32, i0.4s a m, 800, .25 and
1858 pm.
Arrive Belvidere 1000, 1iI9 a m, 1929, 6.52 and
9.23 pm.
Arrive Manunka Chunk 1907, 1i.25 nj, 49,
700 and $50 p m.
Connection is made at Manunka Chunk with
Delaware, Laekawanna x Western Railroad Le-
high Junction with Lehigh Valley. Lehigh 4 Sus-
quehanna, Morris 4 Essex and New Jersey Central
Railroads At Lambertyie with bennington Rail-
road. AT Trenton with trains to and from New
York, Camden, &c.
For further In formation see timetables which
can be obtained at the ticket Offices.
CHAS. L. PUGH, J. II. WOOD,
General Manager. General Passenger Agent.
+. W. JACKSON,
Gent Supt. U. r. r. of N ]. Div.
j, A. ANDERSON, Supt. Belyidere Div.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-11-25
Wednesday, Nov. 25, 1885.
Kiss Them Cood.Ni.,,t

Kiss Them GOOd-Nigtt.
The tales are told, the songs are sung,
The evening romp Is over,
And up the nursery stairs they climb,
With little buzzing- tongues that chime
Like bees among the clover.
Their busy brains and happy hearts
Are full OF crowding fancies;
From song and tale and make-believe
A wendrous web Of dreams they weave
And airy child romances.
The starry night is fair without;
The new moon rises slowly,
The nursery lamp is burning faint;
Each white-robed like a little saint,
Their prayers they murmur lowly.
Goodnight! The tired heads are still,
On pillows soft reposing,
The dim and dizzy mist Of sleep
About their thoughts begins to creep,
Their drowsy eyes are closing
Goodnight. While through the silent air
The moonbeams pale are streaming,
They drift from daylight's noisy shore,
" Blow out the light and shut the door,
And leave them to their dreaming
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-11-25
FOR SALE.

The Patent Right for Hunterdon County for a
WALL CLOTHES HANGER, something entirely
new, and sells we'll II can be seen by calling at
THE RECORD office. Money can be made In SELL
ing II. Big profits. Several thousand sold In
Philadelphia within the past year or two.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-11-25

Charity covers multitude of sins and
Paint covers any quantity of stains.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-11-25
WANTED IMMEDIATELY

of wire now being extended by the B. 4 o. Tele-
graph Co., The National Tel. Co. Organized. The
are both pushing ahead with new lines. The
Standard Multiplex Tel. Co.. recently Incorporate
ed, extends East, West, North end South. Good
positions now ready. For further information.
address, with stamp, The Penna. 4 New Jersey
Telegraph, shorthand and Type Writing Instruc-
tion Company. Main Office, 926 Chestnut street.
Philadelphia, Penna.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-11-25

Don't forget Louden's Shoes. He
will sell you hand or machine made of his
own work. Cor. Main and Coryell streets,
Lambertville. Jy 10.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-11-25

Not long since, Colonel Yerger, of Aus
tin, moved into new house. About week
afterward, Gilhooly, meeting him, asked
him how he liked his new location. "The
location ia all right" /" Are the neighbors
sociable ?" Very" Haye they called
on you yet ?" 4" think SO, but was not
at home" You ought to return the call
They are very nice people," Yes, I'm
going to return their calls if there is one
more stick of my firewood missing. "-1'eras
Sitings
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14
A New Kind of Dog.

A wild-looking man who rescmbled
one who had wrestled with misfortune
in catch as. catch-can hold and been
thrown in the contest, went into a
Woodward avenue bird store the other
day and approached the affable pro-
prietor.
"Look here" he said, "may l take
you apart for a moment"
Certainly" replied the man Of
animals, eff you can put me together
again"
"Well, here's letter from my wife
say, come out and have something?"
They went and had something ;
when they came back the wild-look-
ing man resumed the letter. "She
writes me-" he continued, "to get her
a white canvass-back dog in cross"
"Now you Co." said the bird-man,
severely. Business is business, and
I've no time to fool away"
He sat down on the curb stone to
rest. He was still reading the letter
when a sympathetic lady stopped to
look at him.
"Poor man, are you ill'" she asked,
kindly.
Heaven bless you, madam, read
that letter. If you can and will, l
am a saved man."
The lady took the letter as if she
were humoring the whim Of luna
tic, and ran it over.
at is easy enough to read" she
said. "Your wife, who seems to be
an excellent woman, wishes you to
buy her a white dog in cross-stitch,
stamped on canvass splasher, with
crewels to finish it, and send by ex-
press at once. I'm sure there's moth
ing about it that isn't plain enough" /"
"Thank you, ma'am. I'll never
forget your kindness. Where did
you say the cross-stitched dog OH can
vass could be found y
"At any art-embroidery store" and
the lady walked away, remarking soto
voice:
"Of all stupids, men are the stupid
est. Not to know what cross-stitch
is p-Detroit Free Prea.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14
Editors Fun.

Editor in ?"
We hastily cranlmed the half bushel
of coupons we were cutting from our
September bonds under big pile of
exchanges and said yes to the inquir-
er.
"In want of spice editor-a pun
gent sort of fellow, so to speak ?"
"Spice editor" we replied. "Pun-
CENT? Oh, see."
"Well, don't be I. C.-icy you
know-to me, ha !! ha! Do you see,
eh? Cool remark, wasn't it ?"
We drew long breath as we look
ed at the intruder.
"Ah, ha-a sigh; well, the sighs of
your reply might dishearten some ap-
plicants, but that's not my case"
What is your business with usi"
we asked, wondering whether our Wis
itor had taken too much stimulent be-
fore dinner, or was a mild type of
lunatic.
Business Well, like that. My
business is joke. Ha! ha /! Don't
see it? Well, any vacancy here for
funny man, little joker, you know ?
Beat any trump card ken knock
Detroit Free Press and Texas Siftings
higherner kite. This style: Big
thing-Chicago girls foot. First
opening of the season-oysters Sept.
1. Grand total-the plumbers bill"
Enough! hold upp we exclaim-
ed, dreading lest he should begin on
the ice cream racket or old man and
garden gate yarn. "We have no va
cancy, but if you will call"
"Csllf Well, you held full hand
if 1 had called. Doncher ses-I kin
poker joke at you anyway"
eyes, indeed" we groaned. John,
hand this gentleman our Cunard line
free ticket to England, and give him
our card to the editor of London
Punch"
punch o, no; applied there last
season-my puns too new-just en-
gagged an old American circus clown
with two barrels Of ring jokes"
Just then we set our dictionary up
on end, and the office boy in obedience
to the signal, tightened the patent
spring at the head of the stairs, and
stood holding the door open.
eve are sorry we have no opening
except that" pointing to the door.
"Ah / see. Haven't made a hit.
Must make an exit"
The boy loosed his hold of the door.
1t closed with vigor, and there was a
confused humping and rafting for a
moment, then voice came up from
the first landing: Something of n
come down that-must beware of evil
doers, eh +? Hal ha Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14
Fancy VS.. Facts.

There is nothing within the knowl-
edge and appreciation of humanity SO
beautiful and lovable as woman. To
her the poet rhymes for her the poet
paints, the sculptor hews, and at her
feet the world of man lays down its
homage. We may scof, revile and
quibble with her differences to the
male sex, but her smile lights the
world. Her tender eyes, her loving
voice, her soft, caressing hand give to
life a sensation that may find its like
in Paradize, but not on earth. Her
-her-her; l wrote that word l
wanted on slip the other day, where
is it? Martha ?"
"Well, James"
81 left slip of paper with some
words OH it here on the table the
other day. collected them to use in
this article on Women for the Month
ly Tafypuller--did you see them'"
"Why, you leave such a litter,
James, / cleaned up the table yester-
day, and threw the scraps in the fire."
There lis =! There it goes What
confounded idiots you women are I
Why don't you let things alone :
You're always mussing and fussing
and annoying the world would be
heap better without you p'-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14
Conversation on the Train.


Conductor, what is the cause of
this delayi" asked passenger on a
southern train that had been stopped
for half an hour.
"The engineer, fireman, and brake
men are having Democratic barbe-
cue" said the conductor.
"a Democratic barbecue ?" inquir-
ingly echoed the passenger.
eyes, sir: You see, COW got on
the track six miles below. The en-
gineer crowded OH all the steam he
could and went for the critter. Well,
l never saw COW run so. She Just
left us miles behind in no time. If
the burned fool had kept on she'd ha'
been all right; but when she got up
here she sat right down and began
eating grass off the ties. Then she
fell asleep, and the engine struck her
and broke her left leg. Bill, the fire.
man, finished the job, and she is on
the fire now"
"When will we reach the next sta
tion?" asked the passenger.
"When the COW is roasted, l reck
on"
As the conductor passed through
the car drummer said to the passen-
ger: 1--WE won't reach the next sta
ton at all, SIR"
"Why ?" said the passenger.
ave stop two miles above here and
wait fer the station to come along
New York Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14

Inquiring cbild-"Pa, what is the
difference between sitting up and sit
ting DOWN. Pa with perfect con-
fidence in his ability to eIplain)-
why, my child, when somebody is
standing up, and he seats himself, he
sits down and when he doesn't go
to bed, and sits down, he sits up"
Inquiring child-"But, pa, if he sits,
how can he sit without sitting down /;
and If he sits down, how can he sit
upf-San Francisco Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14

In Missouri, hugging societies have
been introduced to swell the church
treasures, and paper gives the fol-
lowing scale of prices: Girls under
16, Is cents for each hug of two min
utes; from 10 to 20 years of age, 80
cents from 20 to rs. 10 cents; school
ma'ams, 40 cents; widows. according
to looks, from 10 cents to 81; old
maids 3 cents piece, or two for a
nickle, and. not any limit Of time.
Ministers are not charged. Editors
pay in advertising, but are net allow
ed to participate until everybody else
is through.-Excbange.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14

The conversation as reported to us
was as follows:
Registrar-Will you please, sir, re-
peat these words after me: 81, c.
P, do solemnly declare"
Bridegroom-I, @, do
solemnly declare. Did observe you,
sir, cutting an advertisement from
your newspaper when / came NJ"
eyes | sometimes have the ad-
vertising of births, deaths and mar
riages intrusted to me. Let us, il
you please, proceed with the marriage.
That l know of ne lawful impediment
-,ni
Bridegroom-"'T That | know of nc
lawful impediment-' May take
the opportunity, sir, of explaining to
you and others who are present, the
nature of my businessH You will
find from these circulars that in the
matter of any of the advertisements
you mention you can effect a consid
derable saving by placing the order
with me-"
Registrar-"Really, sir, this is most
irregular and improper. l must ask
your attention for the remainder Of
the service. Why, l, C-P-
should enter into matrimony with thee
D-M-."
Bridegoom-"Why /, C--P-
should not enter into matrimony with
thee, D--M-." At commits
sion of 5 per cent, sir, l am prepared
to accept the smallest order for any
paper in Great Britain, Ireland, tn,
Colonies, India and abroad. Tableau
London Echo.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14

"Your grocer always keeps nice
fresh butter does he notf" remarked
Hardpay to his landlady at dinner.
w think he does; at least he always
says he has the best when / ask him.
But why do you ask?" Simply to
find out if he didn't keep it instead
of letting you have it. I'm sure if
he gets any fit TO eat he must keep it,
for you never get any Of itW-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14

Honor O'Lochlen, the hostess of
the Gridiron, an old hotel which Irish
lawyers frequented, had ready wit.
Happening to enter the bar-room after
dinner, Curran proposed her health.
II give you, gentlemen" he said,
"Honor and honesty" Possibly the
worthy landlady did not feel com.
plimented, for she readily rejoined |:
"Your absent friends, Mr.. Curran.
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14

As an evidence Of the keen busi-
ness instinct prevalent in this age Of
trade We may state that a London ad-
vertising agent who was married this
week by registrar in the West End,
endsavored during the service to book
that official for an advertising order.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-14

We know a lawyer who never says
to himself, "I guess I'd better not
have another glass;" without charging
himself 81 for the advice. But it is
many years since he said it, and his
lawyers bill is light one.-Fall
River Advance.