Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1885-08-07
COL. sKERRETTS DUEL.

Captain Pickering were sitting in their
room at the Hotel Anglais, Paris. They
were Americans on their travels, all
three rouugh-looking down-Easters,
who had gone through the worst fire of
the civil war. DR.. Vicaire, surgeon in
the French army, was standing in front
of them, regarding them with severe
| air.
81 come to denounce TO you as you
lave insult my friend, M. lie Lieutenant
FouIon. He demand re satisfaction"
said DR.. Vicaire, particularly address
ing Colonel Skerrett. "You have kick
his dog. You write apology, ver goot.
You no write apology, you choose ze-
ze-ah! vat you call Parme-ze-"
"Weapons," said Major Marsh, COM
ing to his assistance. DR.. Vicaire
bowed. ....
"Apologize for kicking his darned
curl shouted the Colonel. "What did
it come swapping and barking at my
heels for? | would kick Mr.. Foolong
himself if he did that"
"Ah 20 replied the Doctor, 'ver goot
Insult additional" and he blew his nose
like flourish Of trumpets.
Colonel Skerrett was rs brave man
as ever stood in boots, but besides his
conscientious objections to duel, the
cause of the quarrel was so ludicIous
that he only answered with burst of
laughter.
"Ah." said the Doctor, calmly, but
reddening. "Insult tree" And he took
prodigious pinch of snuff.
The three friends looked at each
other. Major Marsh took the word.
"My friend will allow me to act for
him. We have the choice of weapons?"
"Yes."
"Then | choose them that nature pro-
vided. Fists"
"Feest?" said the doctor, pondering.
"You mean Ze-ze-"
Major Marsh explained in pantomlme.
"Sirv' cried the fiery doctor, "you
make re game of me! | see you after my
friend have re satisfaction"
"Don't get so hot, now. What do you
say to stuffed clubs in darkened
room?" ..
1t took long time to make the doctor
understand this proposition, but when
he did he rejected it with constantly in
creasing wrath. Captain Pickering
suggested rough-and-tumble fight in
pit-kick, scratch, bite, claw and gouge.
Major Marsh thought an excellent way
of settling the difficulty would be for
the two adversaries to 60 into shallow
water and see which could drown the
other. Finally, Colonel Skerrett sug-
gested that they should bring keg of
powder on the field; cast lots; and
whichever lost should sit upon the keg
and apply the cigar lie had just been
smoking to hole in the keg. DR.. VII
caire tore his hair and rejected one and
all.
"Why," said the Major, ''it pears to
me that we haven't got the choice of
weapons at ALL"
"Of re weapon, yes! But zis is no
weapon. Swords, dagger, peestol, gun
-zey all weapon. But re gouge, re
feest, re clup rempli, or vat you call re
stuff clups-eh, monsieur!" and the
worthy Doctor stamped with rage.
"Doctor," said the Major, quietly,
"the last suggestion of Colonel Skerrett
is one that has been acted on in at least
one case in one Of the Southern States
of America. If your friend wants an
out and out dooel, he will accept the
offer of barrel of powder under them
conditions. If he don't he is only foolin' ,
with the matter. People blaze away at
each other here for half an hour and
shoot nothing but the pigs. When we
du a thing in the States we du it."
"Sir !" shrieked Vicaire, with concen-
trated rage. "You coward, you pol
troon post you in re cafe, re hotel. L
and my friend whip you with ze-eh--
re whip of re horse." and he rushed
from the room, swinging his hat fran
tically in one hand and plucking at his
hair with the other.
Left to themselves, the three friends
laughed heartily. As for the Doctors
threat of personal chastisement, Major
Marsh alone looked strong enough to
horsewhip the National Guard if they
were called out. For the posting in the
cafes they cared exactly nothing. They
chatted and smoked and were beginning
to forget the whole affair.
But an hour later the waiter an noune-
ed: "M. lie Lieutenant Foulon"
NJ. Foulon advanced into the room,
bowed courteously to the two, and adj
dressing Colonel Skerrett, said in per-
feet English:
81 have just seen my friend Vicaire.
Possibly he misunderstood. From what
he told me, understand that you made
propositions which no gentleman would
make. Therefore you are no gentleman.
1t remains to be seen If you are coward
as well. am aware that your last
proposition is mode Of the duello prac-
ticed in some parts Of your country. OF
that my friend Vicaire was ignorant.
Although the practice is irregular, /
waive that consideration, and personally
accept your proposal Of keg Of powder
under the specified conditions. You
will oblige me by naming time and