Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-03-25
BRIGHT BITS.

" r
Hazen must be stopped or a competent spb.
put on in his place. There hasn't been
decent day since the trial OF the chief OF the
weather bureau commenced.
IL hundreds of front yards all over the city
there is little mould of freshearth close to the
water box. Tread lightly, passer, and I'M
cover thy head. Beneath this mound sleeps
plumber.-LOuisCiHs COUrier-JOWrRdt
THE Mahdi undoubtedly will then be mad
And Wolseley's backbone will be sitter.
When his highnes3 the Mum of ii drabad
Sweeps down on Abdullah Khalifa.
-Boston Courier.
THERE'S little doing here below,
But swearing at the weather.;
The plumber takes Jack Frost aside,
To drink hot Scotch together.
Cincinnati Merchant IrG6eter.
A LESSON at the knee: Mamma, what is
this backbone grant the papers are all talk
ing about?" "IIe was great General during
the dreadful war. George, and man Of
extraordinary backbone. "-thicdgo Eets.
"WIsH you'd feed your horse before he
comes OUT -why-hang it!-what Go
YOU mean?" "He's always trying to eat my
boots He evidently thinks there's some
chance of getting at little rn"-L0ndon
Punch.
THE seekers smile is sickly, now,
For disappointment clouds his brow;
His eighteen carat golden hopes are weakened
by alloy
The silver lining to the cloud
That covers him will prove shrOud,
For Cleveland now is boiling do Tn the Demo
cratic jOy.-E@chdnge.
FoNp NOTBER-"W hat dear, sweet little
fellow Bobby Is! Ee asked me last night If he
were to die and go TO Heaven # | thought
that God " Ould let him play win inc stars
Father Cunning his boot upside down and
shaking it violently)-"Now, who put that
tooth brush and powder In there.
Fond Mother tresignedyl-"O, suppose it.
was Bobby"-NslO York Times.
.as-
disgusting the amount Of space the newspa-
pers devote to this prize fighter sullivan. Ills
every movement Is gwen to the last detail
This paper has column article concern
Wife-Is that so? Let me see the paper.
Uusband-Well, wait Il minute; | haven't
finished the article myself yet.
THERE is a sign on an uptown millinery
store which reads: "Call and see our KIDS
A man dropped in and said to the proprietor
Il saw your sign to come in and see the bids.
Pve got pair at home. and thought would
call in and see If yours were better looking
than mine. How many have your The pro-
prIetor sternly Interrupted him: You fool
mean gloves, not Disqualification freeman.
at all comes O. bein poor" said an old
lady. trembling with indignation, to her sick
husband. II jist stopped IN mlnnit at the
Riches to tell 'em as how yOu wasn't gittln
anv better, and Mrs. Rich sed che was sorry.
and wanted me to bring you hottie Of wine."
Did YOU brIDg it?' asked the sick man ca
gerIy. -, no. .or = had boer lawn,
down in the cellar ever since 1855, an when
she offered it to me | jist walked of without
sayln' a word."-Erchdnge.
FIRST ToNsoRIAL ARTIST - "That man,
President Cleveland, viii make good many
mistakes, you see nOw.'
Second TOnsorial Artist-"They say he's got
plenty Of horse sense, and that's good thing
That's all right, but what good does that
do man who don't know what's going on in
the word? lie can't keep posted. Hes got
no one to tell him all what happens every
'And VIII, amt he?"
"He shaves himself" PhilddelphId CAL.
A NEMBER of the Arkansas Legislature, in
speaking of the bill concerning the carrying
Of pistols, said: "Gentlemen OF the Leglsla-
ture of Arkansaw, please hear me. For sew
eral months | have heard you fellows talk
about fool things, but now you mt me Where j
live. / think that every man ought to tOat a
pistol, for the constitution specially says that
mans religion must not be hampered. am
a religious man and | tOat pistol. Conse-
euently all religious men must toat EN-. Un-
derstand, Teller citizens, that don't want to
interfere with no mans right, but to feel zee
and easy We must all toat gun. "-Ar 6dnsd'o
7rdreler.
CHIEF CLERK ito head OF the establishment
Good morning, Mr. Largewealth.
Head of the establishment Good morning,
s.cond Chief Clerk Ito chief cerk)-GOod
morning, Mr.. Smith, pleasant morning.
Chief Clef k-Morninp, Brown.
Ordinary Clerk Ito second chief clerk)-Good
morning, Mr.. Brown. Glad to see you look
ing so well this morning. sir.
Second Chief Clerk-Ya'as. Hang up my
coat. Jones.
Office Boy Ito ordinary clerk)-GoOd morn
ing, Mr.. Jones. Can do anything for you
this morning, sir?
Ordinary CIerk-Hustle around lively now
and get things In shape. You amt worth the
powder TO blow you up.
Negro Porter ito office boy)-Good mawnin'.
James How ia yo' health dis mawnin'2
Office Boy-COme, you black niger, get
down stairs and sweep out the basement or
I'll report you.
The negro porter then goes down and abuses
the cat-RetD York Sun.