The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-10-22
A OF snAMs.
How Glitter Passes For Gold in Thought
less Communities.

A STUDENT OF sHAMs.
How Glitter Passes For Gold in Thought
less Communities.
In a great, big, gilded clearinghouse in
the business portion of the city. which
S thronged on week days by myriads of
nervous men with their mouths full of
hot coffee and their heads full of the
ticker or the trial list, a reporter sat
down yesterday to dinner. The place
was nearly empty. The only person at
the next table was a man who. instead
of eating. drummed idly on the table
and every now and then looked about
him. Whenever he did look about him
he smiled. The smile was one of those
~ostentatious smiles hat invite your
neighbor to ask what you are smiling
about. The reporter looked inquiring-
ly at his neighbor. rbe latter hitched
his chair up to the reporter with a nerv-
Gus motion and broke out: 81 come to
this place and other places like it to
satiate myself with sham. / have come
to admire sham. 1t is the ruling spirit
of the age. 1t is the outcome of the
craze for appearances-the desire Of
every man to eat, drink and be clothed
like his betters. This desire can not be
%appeased, for the price of the best is
eternallv fixed-therefore it is sopped
with an imitation of the best at a price
it can afford to pay. This place is a
temple of sham. Excuse this homily.
What are you eating?"
The reporter. who had his own doubts
on the subject. replied, cautiously :
'.It's supposed to be turtle soup"
The stranger shifted contemptuously:
at isn't ever attempted to cover up
that sham" he said. .'You notice on
the bill of fare that your turtle soup is
but ten cents more per plate than mock
turtle soup. Calipash and calipee.
green fat, an historic delicacy, famed in
the history of the worlds metropolis as
the acme of epicurean delight. for ten
cents more than a fried meat ball. But
the age like to think it is eating turtle
soup. 1t sounds rich-therefore the
veally counterfeit. am going to cal
a Spanish omelette," continued the
stranger, changing the subject.
The stranger gave his order to q
colored waiter. who yawned and
twisted his moustache against a gilded
pillar, and the omelette was brought
The stranger Investigated the ingredi
ents of the savory mess with his fork
and on the end of the utensil produced
a mushroom. Look at this" he said
Then he picked at the appetizing vege
table with his knife, scraped off the
covering of and began pairing thu
stem. 1t crumbled under the operation
I in a decidedly unvegetable way. Th'
, reporters eyes popped out on hi
cheeks.
i What is itp" he asked.
Dough-" replied the stranger. 81
is an old trick. Mushrooms are scare
,, and high. Still the patrons like to hav
1 the sensation of ordering mushrooms il
their composition. If prices were pu
up to the mushroom market they woul'
4 abandon the restaurant. So they ca
dough. 1t is harmless. 1 would advis,
the proprietor to stick to dough and no
g indulge in toadstools, which Nigh
g work injury"
The stranger pushed away the ON
elette, which, he explained, he had onl,
ordered as an excuse for remaining i
the place. and lighted a cigarette. A
he sent a straight, strong column G
smoke out from the bottom of his lung
after a deep inhalation, he went o
q talking. at is a question:" he said
whether any man of the present ger
L Grafton, save only the negroes, who 70
d their cigars out of leaves plucked fror
bales of raw tobacco on the wharves c
d Southern ports, has eve tasted rea
tobacco. myself have smoked valeria
4 so long that you see 1 positively EMO
it. 1 confess that / do not know VIII;
real tobacco is. Idiots who buy. an
liars who sell various preparations
valerian will tell you that they do"
The reporters zane which had bee
leaning against the wainscot while j
g owner gorged himself with sham foo
fell to the floor with a rafting nois
g The strangers eye followed the directio
of the noise. THAT stick" he sal
II (which is made to represent Iri:
IS blackthorn and was grown in Jerse,
:! leaned against a panel which is maj
:, to represent mahogany and is real
. ash. The imitation blackthorn 81
p along the imitation mahogany and fl
is upon something which is mean
= represent a marble floor. 1t did n,
u fall upon a marble floor, but upon
u preparation of a sort of concrete viii,
!, is made to represent marble by a pate
= tile company, The very noise produce
u is sham
9 The reporter, occupied with tt
~ horrid doubt in his mind as to wheth
T. the piece of beef in his mouth w
!, horse, paid no attention to the strangel
assault upon his cane, and the homili
10 continued, as if to himself: "a temp
o. of sham. The sunlight falls throu!
stained glass which is not stained gla:
u but stained paper pasted on windo
panes. 1t lights upon medallions
20 hammered brass and a frieze of I
~ pousse work which are not hammer
brass and repousse, but papier mach
Truly the"
g, The reporter interrupted the speake
20 He had come to the last cours of |
=, meal.
Sir" he said a%nxiously. ais the r
d imitation, too?" There was a silen
~ in which the disciple listened with bait
- breath and the teacher framed
s. wisdom into words. '.No." he So
~ softly. mo one would initiate Anne,
can pie" And producing a coin viii
he said should by rights be counterfe
~ he paid his check and walked out.
20 Philadelphia Press.
BRAvING THE INDIANS.