The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-06-11
THE MERRY SlDE! =!


Mrs. Fanny Lynch. of Cincinnati, died from the
combined effects of beer and opium. We should
think so! Either would be enough to kill hog.
We are told that 'the Democratic organ of Cler-
mont County has changed hands. From which
infer that it is a kind of hand-organ affair.
man out in Missouri declared that there were ten
feet in yard, and of every body hooted him.
But he proved himself He talking about
a graveyard.
Cincinnati young man named Harry Champlin
went home and attempted to assault his mother. He
was drunk, and he never got SOBER His brother-in-
law was his final sickness.
Leave this propertyt'' yelled an rate man. shaking
a gun at the Constable who was levying upon his
goods. 1.-The law requires that all executions shall
take place in Coumbus,''
Democrats must use a little patience They will be
rewarded after little The President is busy just
now. He is reading School History of the United
States Government.
There are always places down stream where enor-
nous fish have been caught-if believe the stories
of the shiar but they always still further down.
No man ever reaches the neghborhood.
The idea prevail that the Scrip Law of last
winter is unconstitutional provides that an op-
orator shall not oppress twenty men, that he
may pile it onto nineteen men heavily he
pleases.
well, wen' said an old lady, lying down her book
1.-THE modern wonders they do have, to be sure. I've
often heerd EN- etten loose the dogs NV war, but
here read about big ship ben sunk durin' the war
by a Rebel Ram!''
Secretary Bayard went to Kansas last week to tell
the Democrats of Lawrence all about Thomas Jeffer-
son. They would much rather hear what Grover |
Cleveland is going to do than what Thomas jefferson
has DONE
recent visitor to jeff Davis says that he is tran
gully passing his days in his beautiful home on the
shores ofthe Gulf of Mexico. What beautiful pict-
ure of the magnanimity of the American people.
The seventeen-year locusts coming again this |
summer, so say the learned men, 1t has only been |
five years since they here, but there a Demo-
cratic administration row, and the plague comes
twelve years earlier.
The streams of Ohio being rapidly stocked with
fish. The piscicultnrists gently turn loose a hun
lred thousand young shad in one season, and the
next lot of thieves will yank them out with hun
lred- foot seine.
There is excitement in London. Two Irishmen
rom America landed there few days ago, and now
The police can't find then. Everybody is waiting and
listening for the explosion.
:.
As the hay harvest draws nearer, the champion
'cythe-swinger is beginning to oil up his tongue
to telling how much he to cut
N a day with a scythe than two-horse mower can
mt now.
That was good thing which happened to Perry
6razel' at Akron, Ohio. He went home drunk, and
ttacked his wife, when in protecting herself, she
pushed him over his head striking against stand.
lie died instantly. The woman arrested, but the
coroner found chat death resulted from alcoholism"
The President refused to appoint a Capiah County,
Miss,) murderer to office But if there had been
Democrats of the Capiah County stripe, Mr.. Cleve-
and would not now be President. He should not "go
Jack on them as brought him up by hand.''
The idea that the South must be loved and petted
ecause she acknowledged to having committed a
reat crime and gotten whipped for it, is bad one
v hen man acknowledges to stealing horse, they |
ut him in the Pententiary, and often deprive him
# citizenship afterwards.
At Jasper. Indiana, the Deputy Sheriff attempted
o arrest father and two sons, named Reeves. The
fcer was riddled with bullets. The old man has
cen in the Penitentiary, and the boys doggery-
eepers They could not have their personal liber-
y" interfered with.
A madman took possession of train at Kansas City
day last week. driving every body of the cars
nd running things to suit himself They thought
I'M crazy, DuJ a gentleman well acquainted in the
rest said it was the effects of Kansas City whisky
I'm worth a hundred thousand dollars.n boasted
he man just returned from the west
But how much money property have you?'
sked a skeptical man.
He hadn't any. He was committing his north not
is 11ealth.
The fool-killer has at last been found. He is the
uilder of the Brooklyn Bridge A fool jumped off of
he Rri idpaa favrd dave and Iad |
ow there several more fools who want to go and
o likewise. They ought to be permitted to do so.
+x+
when the brazen serpent lifted up"-said the
Iinister, on Sunday.
An old Democrat got up and solemnly walked out,
emarking that there it is agin More talk about
opperheads. These preachers always running
ito politics." ,
An exchange refers the temperance people to the
ecent Democratic Legislature the result of tenn
erance agitation two years ago. This is mistake.
he Democratic Legislature and Democratic Cover
Dr. resulted largely from the fact that man did
ot have discretion enough keep his mouth shut
lie proper time.
Not to say that Presidential elections have any
caring on the times to make them good or bad we
otce some of our Democratic friends in good deal
lie same frame of mind as the Irishman who
'liloquizing over the result somewhat after this
shion:
'Well, we've fought an bled, an died, an hur-
lhed, and whooped-em-up, and elected Cleveland,
l. got a change. AM drill a change it is, too
-
That bright little boy, with correct idea of
lie fitness of things; who in a western town, dec
'atfon day caught laying flowers some
eer-kegs in front of doggery.
''Vot you doin dere 20 asked the DEVILS Agent
adding out of the door. :
I'm decoratin' the graceyard!'' replied the lad
aveling around the corner.
50
The method of securing victory the part of some
the Republican Reformers,'' is similar to that of
lie man who went out to fight When coming in
ght of his antagonist he flew into terrible rage
Eat his breast, pulled his hair, and literal
tore the clothing from hmseif-but he didn't touch
le other fellow. AS the other walked away in '
sgust, the furious man said There! How do you l
ke that, you poor miserable, defeated wretch ?' c