Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-04-24

hurried back to Titipu to lay his heart at
the lady's feet. But Ko .Ko was reprieved
at the last moment, and raised to the
rank of lord high executioner, under
these remarkable circumstances: The
mikado, wishing to steady the young
men in his kingdom, decreed that all
who firted, leered or winked should be
beheaded. This decree, very natu-
rally,
Caused great dismay throughout the land,
For young and old
And shy and bold
Were equally affected.
And so we straight let out on bail
A convict from the county JAIL
Whose head was next
On some pretext
Condemned to be mown off,
And made him headsman, for we said
who's next to be decapitated
Can not cut of another's head
Until he's cut his own off,
AS the logical mikado had rolled the
two offices Of governor and headsman
into one, Ko-Ko, the ex-cheap tailor,
was now great magnate, governor of
Titipu and lord high executioner. The
lord high executioner is assisted in his
office by Pooh Bah, tremendous swell,
who describes himself as "a particularly
naughty and exclusive person, of pre-
Adamite ancestral descent You will
understand this when | tel you that l
can trace my ancestry back to protop-
lasmal prtmordial atomic globule. Con-
sequently my family pride is something
inconceivable. | can't help it. | was
born sneering. But l struggle hard to
overcome this defect. [ mortify my
pride continually. When all the great
officers of state resigned in body be-
cause they were too proud to serve under
an extailor did ] not unhesitatingly ac-
cept all their posts at once?
Pish-And the salaries attached to
them? You did.
Pooh-It is consequently my degrad-
ing duty to serve this upstart as first lord
of the treasury, lord chief justice, COM
mander-in-chief, lord high admiral, mas
ter of the buckhounds, groom of the
backstairs, archbishop of Titipu, and
lord mayor, both acting and elect, all
rolled into one.
Nanki,Poo's hopes are shattered when
ho hears of KoKo's release and his in
tention to marry his ward. Yum Yum
with Pitti-Sing and Peep-Bo now arrive
from school, and the lovers indulge in
some delightful love passages. But even
the powerful Ko- Kos love does not run
smooth, for as he is preparing for his
nuptials a letter arrived from the mika-
do, who is struck by the fact that no
avaortiano hnua fol rNlona in fTStinI for
year, and declares that unless some
body is beheaded within one month, the
post of lord high executioner shall be
abolished, and the city reduced to the
rank of village. AS Pooh-Bah remarks,
this is uncomfortable news. So the two
argue it out to its logical conclusion.
Ko-Ko himself is the obvious victim,
but he can't execute himself because
self decapitation is difficult, and, more
over, suicide is capital offense:
Ko-Reside, | don't see how man
can cut off his own head.
Pooh-A man might try.
Pish-Even if you only succeeded in
cutting it half off, that would be some
thing. .
Pooh-It would be taken as an earnest
of your desire to comply with the i'm
perial will.
Ko-No Pardon me, but there am
adamant. AS official headsman my
reputation is at stake and / can't con-
sent to embark on a professional opera
ton unless see my way to success
full result. And the council agree that
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In pestilential prison, with lifelong lock,
Awaiting the sensation OF a short, sharp
shock,
From cheap and chippy chopper on big
black block
And Ko-Ko is left to sohloquize. In the
nick of time Nanki-Poo turns up with a
rope in his hand and prepares to commit
suicide rather than live without Yum.
Yum. Ko-Ko sees his chance. Here is the
required victim to save him. To the love-
lorn Nanki-Poo, then, he put the adyan-
tages of an execution:
| "You don't2 Observe: You'll have O
month to live, and you live like fight
ing-cocl1 at my expense. When the day
comes there'll be u grand public ccremo-
nial-youll be the central igure-no one
will attempt to deprive you of that dis
tinction. There'll be procession bands
- dead march--bells toling-all the
girls in tears--Yum Yum distracted
then, when it's all over, general rejoic-
ings, and display of fireworks in the
evening. You won't see them, but
they'll be there all the same"
And Nanki Poo consents on one con-
dition. LET me marry Yum Yum to-
morrow" he says. 'and in month you
may behcad me-" And Ko.K Ko consents.
In the midst Of the rcyels consequent