The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-09-19
PIEIs4NTRIES.

]
/ band.-NOrFIStO town Herald.
THE Emperor OF Anam keeps his
specie sunk III a lake. They have got
/ theidea of watering capital even there,
/ it seems.-Oii City Derrick.
IT is said that divorces are multi
plying. 1t cannot be true, however,
as a divorcefrom its very nature must
| be dividing -Binghampton Republic
an.
\ HUNGRY fly at o'clock in the
/ morning can show more pertinacity to
/ the square inch OF a mans face than
/ all the bulldogs OF Christendom.-Bos-
/ ton GIobe
"THIS, " remarked William the Goat
as he butted the eSchoolmaster through
a thorn hedge into a ditch ten feet
deep, sis what you might call caputal
! punishment
LITTLE six-year-old was obliged to
| take dose of medicine that left an
unpleasant taste in themouth. When
asked how he liked it he said Its
/ good enough; all but the end of it
! THERE'S a farmer boy in Ohio who
has the making of funny man IN
! him. He recently wrote an ode to the
| dead mother of his pet lamb and called
/ it an "Ewe logy. y."-Merchant Travel
! er.
! JUSrUs SCHwAB. the New York social
| ist, says he expects TO be assasslnated
anv day. He can't have heard that
the price ofpowder has lately increased
three cents per pound.-DetroIt Free
! Press.
| ENRAPTURED young woman, gazing
! upward TO young newspaper man. =
| What a wonderful thing Is space. DO
| YOU ever contemplate its immensely?
! Young newspaper man-Indeed | do.
| | have a column of it to till every day.
-Ex.
| WHEN one has experienced what a
country bed is lIke-nothing under
YOU but Stats and nothing above you
! but the ceiling-one no longer wonders
| why people in the country are such
uuconscionably early risers.-BOston
| Transcript.
| AIADY writes to the Philadelphia
| Press to know what she can do to stop
| her minister from kissing her when he
| calls. The quickest remedy, we should
| suppose, would be to let her husband
catch him at it Once.-JaCksOnvHie
| Times Union.
| WHILE awaiting orders at some OF
| the White Mountain hotels the waiter
| girIs dofancv work in the dIning-room.
| Ask them for roast beef or anything
else, and they will say: Just wait
| till get to the end OF my needle. ~
| Boston Journal.
THE improbable feature in the story
! that there is a strip OF land lying be-
| tween the official boundaries OF Utah
and Idaho which is not claimed by
and does not belong TO either terri
| tory lies in the statement that the
! discovery was made and disclosed by
a railway company. railway com
panv stumbling on such a find OF land
| as this would quietly gobOle 1t up and
say nOthing-IT TashingtOn Star.
HE-They give very large dishes OF
! cream here. She-Nes. He-One dish IS
about all that edare eat. She-Ges.
| He-PartiCularIy as ice cream Is said to
| befarfro healthy. She-4es. He-I
! understand that much OF the ice cream
| nowadays is made up OF poisonous
compounds She-Ges. Here, waiter,
| give me another dish OF vanilla, and
! bring me the check for it.-New York
| Times.
WESTERN Lady am very sorry
to notice, Mrs. Pilgrim, that your
daughter is troubled with her eyes"
| Boston Lady-''You must be mlstak-
en-. Nv daughter has the very best
eyes" "But | certainly see her wear
| ing glasses the entire time '"Ihat Is
| On account of her extreme modesty.'
| Extreme mOdesty; what do you
mean2" She would be most awtully
| shocked to look at anybody with her
! naked eye.''-2hHadclphIa CaH
! WHILE the Austin city council was
| in session, Uncle Moses, who wished to
see one OF the city officials about white
| washing a fence, opened the door, ana
| stuck his head in. 'Nhat are you
| doing in here? Don't you see that
nobody but gentlemen are IN here
exclaimed Judge Peterby, who IS an
alderman. Il beg pardon, bose.
! didn't see nobody but you at iust, but
now dat | sees de gemmaus I'll Jess
| 'scuse myself. Texas SIftIHgs.
| SINnER-REsoRT hotels are putting
| on big adiectives and otherwise keep
| ing apaCe with the season. MOsen baum,
! who keeps the BoudOir, was taken TO
! task for stretching his advertisement
| too much. "Hi there Nose saId a
! friend, Il see that you advertise that
your rooms have been enlarged" 80
/ dev haf." But there have been no
| carpenters at work on your place
/ NO, Wait till | tole you. hat
scraped der paper of dose walls
| See ?''-HartfOrd Post.
Il ALWAYS model, says Meissonler,
| 'before begin to draw or paint. !
! like to settle all my difficulties before
! I take up the brush. When that IS
! done. and know exactly what want
to get. then | draw at my leisure.
/ This horse" pointing to small wax
/ model. gave me infinite trouble. /
wanted him for one OF my pictures,
/ and. as the attitude was a very diff
cult one. it was perfectly impossible
/ to draw direct from nature, so ! had
| to settle the question once for all IN
We. used to have a horse brought
/ in every day and made to prance. 1t
/ killed him in the long run, and 1t near.
/ Iy killed me-"
/ THEY had come in from way back,
saws the PittsOurg Chronicle, IN a
WAGON. lie was tall and agricultural,
[ she was short aud rural. Hehad been
/ buying some cloves at retail, and at
/ the depot made some remarks while
I his meek wife prevented the children
/ from getting mixed up with emigrants.
81 amt afserd OF the biggest man that
walks" he remarked. This sentence
seemed TO please him, and he repeated
1t. At last his wife arose and said:
aPater' "Fh ?" You know me2"
"You bet" squat and shut up
And he did.
He Was Waiting.
From the Merchant Traveller
A good old Kentucky Democrat, who
/ has been waiting twenty-five years Tor