Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-12-14
STRAIGHTENING UP AC-
COUNTS.

| think that your idea of keeping ar
account of the daily expenses is the
best you ever had. It's business.
like, and | want to encourage you ir
it,
"Here' s the ink said Mrs. Spoop.
endyke, growing radiant at the COM
pliment. 81 had the pen day be.
fore yesterday. Let me think And
she dove into her work-basket, and
then glanced nervously under the
bureau.
"Well, do you suppose l am going
to split my finger and write with
that?" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke.
Where's the pen? | want the pen. y
81 put it somewhere" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "Ah! here I have it.
Now, you see," she continued, 81
put what money you spent down here
this is your account here, and this is
the joint account. You Know
"What's this?' asked Mr.. Spoon.
endyke.
"That's your account; this
"No, no; | mean this marine
sketch in the second line.''
''That? Oh, that's T."
"Spose l ever spent seven dollars
with a tail like that to it? If you're
going to make figures, why don't you
make figures? What dye want to
make picture of prize fight in Il
column of accounts for? What is
this elephant doing here?''
81 think that's 2,'' replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke, obviously. "Maybe
it's 4. can tell by adding it up
"What are you going to add up?''
Dye count in this corner lot, and
that rosebush, and this pair of sus-
penders %
''That's and that's 5, and
the last is an 8. They came out all
right, and during the last month you
have spent more than / and the Joint
account together"
''Havn't either. When did spend
this broken-down gunboat?"
THAT amt boat. It's s42 fol
your suit"
swell, this tramp fishing off g
rock, when did | spend him?''
SIT amt a tramp. It's $50 cash
you took, and l don't know what you
spent it for. Look at my account
now"
whats that man pulling gis
for?"
"Its nothing of the sort. That
amt gig, it's 81 for wlggin. You
see I've only spent S22 in month,
and you've spent S184.''
''You can't tell by this what I've
done," growled Mr.. Spoodendyke.
"What's that rap trap doing 10 the
joint account2"
"fhat's fourteen cents for fruit,
when you were sick,'
''And this measly looking old hen,
what has she got to do with it?"
"Thats no hen. That's 2. 1t
means two dollars for having your
chair mended."
"What have you charged me with
this old graveyard for?''
''That's fifteen cents for sleeve
elastics, The fifteen amt plain, but
that's what it is"
"How do you make out I've spen,
so much? Where's the vouchers
Show me the vouchers
II don't know what you mean, .
said Mrs. Spoopendyke, "but you
spent all / put down..
"Havn't done anything of the sort.
Show me some vouchers. You don't
know how to keep an account"
eyes, | do" pleaded Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, "and l think it is ali right. +"
"No you don't. What do you
mean by getting up engraviugs of a
secondhand furniture store and
claiming it's my account? You are
a great book keeper, you are. All
yoH want is a sign hung between you
and the other side of the street to be
commercial college. If l ever fail
in business, I'm going to fill up with
benches and START night school.
Give me my pen." And Mr.. Spoop-
endyke commenced running up the
columns. ''Two two's four and eight,
twelve and four sixteen, and carry
one to the next and three is four,
Here, this is wrong. You've got an
eighteen for a twenty here.
"Eh? ?" jerked out Mrs. Spoopen-
endyke.
''That's S204, not S1S4. / knew
you couldn't keep accounts. You
can't even add up"
"That makes your account even
bigger replied Mrs. Spoopendyke.
81 did not not think it was so much. y
Slam went the book across the
room, followed by the pen, and the
ink would have gone, too, but Mrs.
Spoopendyke placed it cautiously
out of harms way.
"Dod CAST it !" howled Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, as he tore off his clothes
and prepared for bed. "You amt
fit to have pen and ink. Next time
| want accounts kept I'll keep 'em
chained ZIP ip the yard, and don't
you go near 'em; you hear me?''
"Yes, DEAR" replied Mrs. Spoon=
endyke, as she slipped the obnoxious
book into the drawer.