The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-09-18

the office he can tell them of the mys-
teries of making a paper, and how de-
linquent subscribers have frequently
been killed by well-directed blow
with a printers towel.
Five years should be devoted to a
study of the art of proof-reading In
that time the young journalist can per-
feet himself to such a degree that it
will take another five years for the
printer to understand his corrections
and marginal notes.
Fifteen years should then be devoted
to the study of American politics, es-
pecially.. Civil-Seryice reform, looking at
it from a non-partisan standpoint Ii
possible, the last five years should be
spent abroad London is the place to
GO if you wish to get clear, concise
view of American politics, and Chicago
or Milwaukee would be a good place
for the young English journalist to 60
and study the political outlook of
England.
The student should then take a medi-
cal and surgical course, so that he may
be able to attend to Commissions, tract
ures and so fourth which may occur to
himself or to the party who may come
to his Office for retract;on and by mis-
take get his spinal column double-lead-
ed.
Ten years should then be given to the
study of law. No thorough, metropol-
itan editor wants to enter upon the
duties of his profession without know
ing the difference between a writ of
nond0na4s and other styles of profan-
ity. He should thoroughly understand
the entire system of American juris-
prudence SO that in case a certiorari
should break out in his neighborhood
he would know just what to do for it.
The student will, by this time, begin
to see what is required of him, and en-
ter with great zeal upon the further
study of his profession.
= He will now enter upon theological
course of ten years and fit himself thor
oughly to speak intelligently of the va
rious creeds and religions of the world.
Ignorance on the part of an editor is
almost crime, and when he closes a
powerful editorial with the familiar
quotation: 1t is the early bird that
catches the worm" and attributes it to
st. Paul instead Of Deuteronomy, it
makes us blush Tor the profession.
The last ten years may be profitably
devoted to the acquisition of q prac-
teal knowledge of cutting cordwood,
baking beans, making shirts, lecturing,
turning double hand-springs, being
shot out of d catapult at circus, learn
ing how TO make good adhesive
paste that will not sour in hot weather,
grinding scizzors, punctuating, capital
ization, condemnation, syntaz. plain
sewing, music ana dancing, sculping,
etiquette, prosody, how to win the affec-
tons of the opposite sex and eyade a
malignant case of breach Of promise,
the ten commandments, every man his
own tooter on the flute, croquet, rules
OF the prize ring, rhetoric, parlor
magic, calisthenics, penmanship, how
to run jack from the bottom of the
pack without getting shot, civil en-
gineering, decorative art, calsomining.
bicycling, baseball, hydraulics, botany,
poker, international law, high-low
Jack, drawing and painting, faro,
vocal music, driving, breaking team,
tiftGen-ball pool how to remove grease
spots from last years pantaloons,
horsemanship, coupling freight cars,
riding on rail, riding on pass, feed
ing threshing machines, how to wean a
calf from the parent stem, teaching
school, bull-whacking, plastering,
waltzing, vaccination, autopsy, how to
win the affections of your wite's
mother, every man his own washer
woman, or how to wash underclothes
so that they will not shrink, ETC., etc.
But time forbids anything like a
thorough list of what a young man
should study in order to fully under
stand all that he may be called upon to
express an opinion about in his actual
experience as a journalist. There are
a thousand little matters which every
editor should know, such, for instance,
ton. Many newspaper men can write
a good editorial on Asiatic cholera, but
their roller composition is not fit to eat.
With the course of study that l have
mapped out, the young student would
emerge from the college Of journalism
at the age Of ninety-ive or nlnety-six,
ready to take off his coat and write an
article on almost any subject He
would be little giddy at first, and the
Office boy would have to see that he
went to bed at a proper time each night,
but aside from that, he wouldbe good
man to feed waste paper basket.
Actual experience is the best teacher
in this peculiarly trying profession. l
hope some day to attend press con-
vention where the order of exercises
will consist of tive-minute expert
ences from each one present. 1t would
be worth listening to. -
My own experience was little pecu-
liar. 1t was my intention at first to
practice law, when went to the Rocky
Mountains, although / had been warned
by the authorities not to do so. Still, |
did practice in a surreptitious kind of
q way, and might have been practicing
yet if my client hadn't died. When you
have become attached to client and
respect and like him, and then when
without warnings like bolt of electric
ity from clear sky, he suddenly dies
and takes the bread right out of your
mouth it is rough.
Then / tried the practice Of criminal
law, but my client got into the peniten-
tiary, where he was no use to me tinan-l
cially or politically. Finally, when the
Judge was in a. hurry, he would. APP
point me to defend the paupera crini-
nails. They all went to the penitentiary,
until people got to criticizing the Judge,
and finally they told him that it was a
shame to appoint me to defend an in
nocent man.
My first experience in journalism was
in Western town in which was a to-
tai stranger, / went there with thirty
five cents, but had it concealed in the
lining of my clothes so that no one
would have suspected it if they had met
me. had no friends, and l noticed that
when got off the train the. band was
not there to meet me- entered the
town Just as any other American citi-
zen would. l had not fully decided
whether to become a stage robber or a
lecturer on pnrenology. At that time
oot a chance TO work on a Ynornin q 1,s