davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
uWhy. this MANI

"Uh! Why, lowed you meant the
dog. Well if I'd knowed the pup half
so well as | did him, you can bet your
socks he wouldn't never got him,
Judge; that's what he wouldn't. Why,
dog gone it all. Judge, that dog was half
pinter, an'-ah?'
"Stop this saving around and answer
the question, or you'll be committed.
"Uh2n
81 say you'll be committed"
"Uh4n
81 say you'll be committed for con-
tempt"
"For whatp
"For contempt"
"What's that"
"Will you answer the question"
eyes"
"Well, then, why don't you de itl'
"Do whatN
"Answer the question"
"What question:
"The one | asked YOU"
"Whichn2"
"Do you know the man~
"What manV
"The prisoner at the bar"
81 wonder now if you mean Bill
Glimpse"
"Certainly. Do yon know him."
"Didn't | say we both married into the
same family'"
"Yes; but do-you-know himW
"Wel, now, see here, Judge. Don't
you know I'd be like to know my own
brother-in-lawl"
"Will you answer the question:"
"What question:
:'Do you know Bill Glimpse"
"Didn't give him pup five years
ago?"
eyes; but do you know himW
"Wcll, now, see here, judge, do you
s'pose | wouldn't have any more sense
than to fool away dog on n man don't
knowl No, stree; l never got so blamed
flush with dogs as to waste EN- like that.
Know himl OF course | do; better'n
do the size of my own feet or my ole
woman's voice, and could'v told you so
long ago if you'd only asst me. Know
him at the bar2 Why, judge, that's
where first got acquainted with him.
by his standin' treat, an | never knowed
a man, Judge, that was more certain to
turn jack right where it was needed in a
game of seven-up than him. You can
90 your pile on him for that every time
and never get left. Yes, sir, I'd know
Bill Gimps anywhere, even in meetin',
though l don't s'pose l could make out
how he got there. Know himl Yes sir
ee-bob. I know him as well as | do
when dinner time comes. Is that strong
enough, judge, or do you want me TO
produce his note to show how much more
/ know him2 can do it if SIGH is law"
THAT will do"
"UhV
"You may step down"
"Down whereN
:'Down stairs, you blockhead "- Chi
cdq0 Ledger.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23

l heard Il story the other day of the
early history of Miss Ransom, an artist
in this city, writes Washington CORE
spondent. She is the painter of the por-
trait of General Thomas which has been
before Congress for so many years. She
was born IN Ohio. She was great
friend in carly life of Mrs Garfield. Miss
Ransom became engaged during her
residence in Ohio to one of the wealthy
citizens of the little town where she was
brought up. lie was an eccentric prop
erty owner, given to whims and caprice.
He broke the engagement without any
good reason, and Miss Ransom sued him
for breach of promise She obtained a
verdict of $40, 200. This money she
used to educate herself as an artist. She
went to Europe and remained for some
years. When she returned she estab-
lished her studio here, and at presen:
occupies very successful position as a
portrait painter.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
Tommy Learned II.

"Papa, how do nations get into war
with each other2" asked Tommy Sea
sonby.
sometimes one way, sometimes an
other" said the father. ''Now, there
are Germany and Spain. They came
near getting into war because Spanish
mob took down the German flag"
"No, my dear" put in Mrs. Seasonby,
''that wasn't the reason"
''But, my darling" said Mr.. S., "don't
you suppose know. You are mistaken.
That was the reason"
"No, dearie, you are mistaken. 1t was
because the Germans"
"NIrs. Seasonby,I say it was because
"Peleg, you know better. You arc
only trying to"
Madam, I don't understand that your
opinion was asked in this matter, any
way"
"Well, l don't want my boy instructed
by an old ignoramus.
"See here, you impudent-"
"Put down your cane, you old brute.
Don't you dare bristle up to me, or I'll
send this rolling pm at your head, you
old"
"Nevcr mind" interrupted Tommy.
81 guess l know how wars begin. -
Chicago NerS.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
SURPRISING Mutiny.

William II. Lytlc, the author Of the
poem, 'The death of Antony" that be.
gins 81 am dying, Egypt. DYING wa:
the man for mutineers. At one time
during the war | was sent under his
command with several pieces of light
artillery, ?mong them two or three
howitzers ii Il brigade that went out on
a raid some place near Shclbyvile in
Tennessee. When we started out the
wagons were used to carry the soldiers
knapsacks, etc, and when we had gath
cred together what forage we wanted,
the wagons had to be used to carry it.
OF course the soldiers then had to carry
their baggage, and when the order was
given to do this, one regiment refused
to obey, and said they would not touch
their knapsacks. Colonel Lyle marched
the men over to where the knapsacks
were, and again ordered the men to take
them up. Again they refused. l was
stationed on little eminence a short
distance away, and presently here came
Colonel Lyle galloping over to me, with
his sabre out and his eyes flashing
Captain Edgarton, said he, will you
let me have those howitzers2"
Certainly" answered, and gave the
order for the guns to move.
Coming over right in front of the
mutineers, Colonel Lyle gave the order,
Attention load with canister. Take
aim and then in an undertone bid
ding the gunners await in readiness the
word fire" spoke to the mutineers,
saying; Take up your knapsacks, OF
I'll wipe you off the face of the earth y
Not man in the regiment moved, and
Lyle waited fully minute. "Now, "
said Lyle, '1'll give you one minute to
pick up those knapsacls" Slowly, first
one and then another, and then third,
picked up his knapsack, and before the
minute was up there was not piece of
baggage on the ground.-T. Louis Re
DuGLicdu
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
HEALTH HINTS.
cagO Ledg

Edward Everett Hale says he cured
eight of his children of the whooping
cough by letting them inhale ammonia
cal gas at gas factory.
DR.. Doanc recommends equal parts Of
vasclinc and turpentine spirit, with a
little carbolic acid, as an excellent ap-
plcation Tor frost-bitc.
The skin of boiled egg is the most
eflicacious remedy that can be applied to
a boil. Peel it carefully, wet and apply
to the part affected 1t will draw out
the matter and relieve soreness in a few
hours.
As the sting of bee is acid, to nuetral-
ize its effects alkali should be used.
Finecut smoking tobacco is said to be a
good remedy. y pinch Of it mo.steued
and applied to the wound like sponge
gives relief in five or ten minutes.
Men seldom lose the hair below where
the hat touches the head, May we not
expect, if we keep the top of the head
hot and moist by continuous wearing of
the hat, that the hair glands will become
weak and finally too weak to grow hair2
For thirty years have worn the ordinary
silk hat with nearly 800 holes through
the top, the holes being about sixteenth
of an inch in diameter. The nap is re-
versed before the holes are punched, and
when it is brushed back to its proper
place the holes are not seen except when
the hat is held up between the eyes and
strong light. Between the sweat
leather and the hat an open corrugated
wire is fastened which extends all
around. Thus the ventilation is perfect.
Ui1 Ielris
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
A Scared DIXIE.

A London letter tells this queer story
of the Chester shops; 1t has just leaked
out that the Duke of Edinburgh re-
Gently visited incognito an antique furni-
ture shop in Chester, where he noticed
a handsome arm chair and offered to buy
it. The dealer invited the duke to sit
in the chair for few moments, and he
complied with the request The duke
had no sooner got fairly seated than the
dealer released a number of concealed
springs, which pinned the sitter to the
chair. In vain did he struggle to re-
lease himself. Becoming alarmed at
his situation, and fearing that it was a
plot of the invincibles to murder him, he
shouted Justify for help. The dealer
only grinned at the labors and cries of
his customer, and at length the duke
proclaimed his identity. The dealer
thought he was only trying to frighten
him, but the police soon arrived in
answer to his royal highness's yells and
confirmed his assertion. The dealer
then released his victim and apologized.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
BURDOCK BLOOD BITTERS
WHAT IS IT :?

A strictly vegetable prepare
ton, composed of a choice and
skillful combination of Ma
lures best remedies. The dis
coverer does not claim it a cure
for all the ills, but boldly war
rants it cures every form of
disease arising from a torpid
liver, impure blood, disordered
kidneys, and where there is a
broken down condition of the
Syste m, requiring a prompt
and permanent tonic, it never
fails to restore the sufferer.
Such is BURDOCK BLOOD
BITTERS. Sold by all drug
gists, who are authorized by
the manufacturers to refund
the price to any purchaser who
is not benefited by their use.
FOSTER, AlLBURN G CO.,
Props. Buffalo, N. Y.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
NOT the Kind He Wanted.

There was an individual rowing up
and down Griswold street yesterday in
search of lawyer who would prosecute
a claim for him and take half the dam
ages as pay. When asked by some one
what his claim was he replied:
az propose to sue the police court for
$50, 600 damages"
"What fcr2"
"For sending me to the workhouse for
thirty days without notifying me what
sort of an institution it was"
"What difference did that makeW
GA great deal, sir. l was charged
with drunkenness, and an officer swore
that was drunk. | denied the charge,
and his Honor said: 4 make it thirty
days"
"Wcll?"
"Well, how did I know whether he
meant drunkard's home, a santarium,
or prisonl He explained nothing. In
stead of going to a sanitarium | brought
up at the workhousc. The shock to my
nervous system has set me back ten
years, and I'm going to be paid for it."
Detroit Free Press.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
SELECT SIFTINGS.

A pumpkin vine near Fort Meade,
Savannah, measures with its branches
and runners 1 ! miles long.
In France all the cows are MIXED on
the left hand side, and the ofT-horsc is
always called the nigh one.
A Corsican boy learned 40 900 words,
and could repeat them backward and
forward without mistake.
A curious new fact in natural history
is that the spitz dog is "a domesticated
subarctic variety of the prairie wolf"
The word cannibal signifies brave or
valiant man, and is derived from the
name by which the Carribees called
themselves.
A scientist states that man fifty years
of age sleeps away an aggregate of
G,000 days, works away the same period.
eats away 1000 days, walks away 500
days and is ill 500 days.
A Baltimore negro has literally worn
two fingers off in many years of shovel
ing coal. The case is reported by ply
stefan as a curiosity. There is no appar-
ent disease and no inconvenience.
The present low rates of postage are a
striking contrast with those of fifty years
| ago, when it cost for single letter car.
red not over thirty miles st cents, less
than eighty miles ten cents, less than
$50 miles 49, cents, 400 miles fifty
cents.
A Buddhist temple which will cost
$4,000, 600 is being built at Kioto, Japan.
1t IS said that more than ton of large
ropes, made of their own hair, contrib
uted by the women of Japan, will be
used to haul the timbers for the temple
to their places. This temple is to be a
Mecca for the faithful all over the en-
pire.
Formerly the mobiles of England prided
themselves on having ro0kcry in the
neighborhood of their castles, because
rocks were regarded as fowls of good
omen" On this account no one was al
| lowed to kill them under severe penal
ties. When rocks deserted rookerv it
was said to precede the downfall of a
family upon whose property it was.
If you want to see whether pond or a
stream is inhabited by fish, climb tree
and look down from height. The
bottom can then be plainly SEEN A tel
egraph lineman, who recently ran a wire
along a Northern New Jersey road, says
that he saw hundreds of pickerel, bass
and trout almost every day, and during
his leisure hours he devoted himself to
Gshing, with great success. He picked
out the good places from the cross arms
of the telegraph poles
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
He KNeW Hill Gimna.

"Do you know the prisoner at the
barl"
"Himl"
eyes; answer up prompt"
"That fellow thcre?"
Certainly; do you know him"
"IIimW
eyes, to be sure; why don't you an
swerl"
"Why, pshaw, Judge! Him an me
married gals out of the same family
sisters, you might say"
"Wcll, do you know him?"
"Him"
"Can't you understand plain English
Do you know this mani"
"That'nl"
"Of course, you blockhead. Do you
know him."
"Know him2 Why bless your your old
heart, Judge, he's got pup that l gave
him more'n five years ago, an you never
see such dog in all your born days as
that'n turned out to be- Why, pshaw.
Judge, you couldn't find nothin' like him
with hide an hair on in seven counties
but the way come to git him was Just
one of the funniest blame things you
ever heered tell of. You see the way OF
it was this-ah2"
"lIold on Stop right there We
don't want any dog stories just now. Do
you know him."
"Who"
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
Striking /, Rich.

"Have YOU called on the Browns yctp
she asked, as the new minister was about
to take his leave after making a call.
'I'm just going" he replied. "It's
the third house from the corner, l be-
lievel"
Eyes third house. They arc very,
very nice people, and know you'll like
'cm."
When the minister rang the bell there
was some delay in answering it, Mean
while the screen doors permitted him to
hear from the interior. Brown, who
seemed to be up stairs, called over the
banisters:
"Say, Helen, where in thunder is that
old vest l spoke OFF,
"Who are you talking to-" demanded q
voice from below.
'To you, of course! If you were any
sort of wife you'd put things where they
could be found
Solomon Brown, don't you cast any
slurs on me. If I don't know more
about housekeeping than all the Browns
on earth I'll commit suicide"
"You do, ehl What did the paupel
Smiths have to keep house onF
Much obliged, but it's living with
you that's done it,"
At this juncture the minister was ush.
cred in, and Mrs. Brown soon entered
the parlor. extended both hands, and
gayly exclaimed:
"Ah! Pm so glad Solomon and I both
wanted to see you SO much! Solomon
Solly, dear, hurry up and come down
our new preacher is here"
And Solomon came down, painted q
grin on his face, and greeted the good
man with
"Wcll well! but this is good of you
WHEY and | were just wishing you'd
call. We want to see if an effort cant
be made to increase the interest in the
Thursday evening prayer meetings."-
Nelo York. Sun.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
Persian Fire WOrshipers.

Ex-United States Minister Ben jamin
SAYS in the independent: When the
Arabs, burning with religious zeal, car
ried the doctrines of Mohammed into
Persia, and forced the acceptance of the
Koran at the point of the sword, that
country abandoned the worship of fire
and the principles taught by Zerdusht
or Zoroaster. The fire worshipers who
remained were mostly driven out of the
country by persecution, and became the
Parsees of India; few remained in
Persia, whose descendants are found
there to this day. But they do not
number over $4,000. They are most
numerous at Yezd, where they weave
some of the finest of the silk stuffs for
which Persia is famous. Elsewhere they
are agricutursts. They wear a peculiar
garb, of which a distinguishing color is
yellow, and are probably the most up
right people in a country where correct
principles and practice are scarce. OF
course they retain the worship and creed
of ancient Persia, including the mystical
veneration for freight. 1t is worthy of
note that the more intelligent of the
Guebres deny that they worship either
the sun or fire, but rather the deity, or
principle symboized by those objects.
This may be true of educated GuebIes;
but the lower and ignorant classes UNI
doubtedly have not sufficient refinement
to make so subtle a distinction. Those
who are opposed to smoking, on the
ground of morals, will be pleased to
learn that no Guebre ever uses tobacco,
while to smoke in his presence is an af
front, because of the sacredness of fire.
The head of the Guebres is very re-
spectacle and intelligent old gentleman,
named Manookjee; he resides at Te-
heran.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23
TOLD BY THE MERRY MEN.
ABA-cH OF STORIES BY AMERICAN
PRESS IJMoRIsTs.

10 WomIhn,t work-Not the E<ind he
Wanted Tommy Learned 1T
striking Vt Rich, Etc.
Seedy individual-Do you deliver
money to any address?
Express Company Clerk Certainly,
sir. How much do you wish delivered
"Whats the charges on one thousand
dollars"
zone dollar"
"Wcll, here's fifty cents. Just pass
me out five hundred dollars, sonny, and
be lively"
Curtain falls on sidewalk scuille, with
the clerk underneath - Philadelphia
Call.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23

1t has long been asserted by lumber
men that timber cut in the spring is not
durable for building purposes Recent
scientific investigation shows that the
richer the wood is in sulphuric acid and
potassium the more likely it is to rot and
mold. Wood cut in the spring contains
eight times as much of the former and
five times as much OF the latter as wood
cut in winter.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-10-23

There are about 6, 377, 900 Jews in the
world, of whom ), 4O7, 900 are in Europe,
and 300, 900 in America. Russia has
1859, 900, Germany 56l, 900, England
go, 900, and Spain only 1900.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-03-20
Another Electric Freak.

A lively young man with a red mustache en-
tered a New York eating-house the other day
and took q seat. He wore o black neck-scarf
In which was thrust an odd-looking pin. A
pretty waiter-g came up, and while brushing
away the crumbs from behind the guest asked
for his order. sYou may bring me some Bos-
ton baked"--The young woman did not
hear the conclusion of the sentence, for q bril-
liant light flashed from the odd scarf-pin and
frightened her so much that she nearly tainted.
The young man glanced up with a look of mild
surprise, and said: Are you faint?:" The
waiter hurried off to the kitchen. The head
of the house next approached. lie put the
pepper bottle back in the castor, picked up a
doughnut from the floor. and was about to
make an observation upon the superiority Of
his squash pes when fire again flashed from
the young mans scarf-pin "What-wha-
what is the matter with your necktie!" he
stuttored, looking at the young man in n star
tied manner; at was on fire just now" ooh,
l guess that's all right" muttered the latter
with a smile; ''any trouble with it nowg"
'sNo, 1 can't see that there Is, but"--The
fire again became luminous and shone with q
brilliancy mover equaled by any diamond: It's
an electric light on a small SCALE" said the
young man; Il have n little battery in my
pocket. By pressing a button a current of
electricity is conducted to the pin, which con-
tains a small piece of carbonized bamboo, and
the light is produced. Big thing, isn't it:"
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-03-20
Beautiful and Fascinating.

A Washington letter to the Boston Journal
says: Senator NJ. c. Butler of South Carolina
ls the handsomest man who has been here this
winter. The women enthuse over him and
court him, but he has been used to that sort
of thing since he wore curls and said his
prayers at his mother'sknee, and accepts their
homage with such grace and dignity that it
disarms criticism. He married . woman
seven years older than himself, who was at
the time q beauty, and with whom he was
much in love She has Ti1ian-red hair, lovely
features, a perfect figure, and exquisite hands
and feet, aud is the daughter ola house whose
race has been distinguished for generations in
politics as in the social world-blue- blooded,
rich, and talented. He has two daughters, one
of them a debutante, and three sons, the sec
ond a graduate of Princeton College. and now
Vice-Consul at Liverpool, Eng. who inherits
his fathers exceeding beauty and fascination,
and who also has brilliant talent Senator
Buffers mother was u sister of Commodore
Perry of Lake Erie fame, and he bears a strik-
ing resemblance to his lannon's uncle as he is
painted on the wall of the Capitol at the head
Of the Senate staircase, where the naval en-
gagement is illustrated in high %colors."
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-03-20
The pay Of His Greatness Der:

Washington Letter to Chicago Times
/ heard q member the other day Bit
terly reproducing some of the lackeys
about the hall of the House for their
neglect of him. "They all know I
haven't been reelected" he explained
&c me, "and it is all that I can do to
get any service out Of them. Themem-
Der who sits next to me has been re-
turned, and if he makes the slightest
signal halls dozen pages will fly towards
him with the utmost alacrity. I fire.
quently beat my hands together until
they are almost blistered without
attracting their attention, and when
I do succeed they move toward
mo as ~leisurely as you please aud exc
cute my orders with a display of conde-
scension that would be amusing if it
were not so annoying. 1t is so with all
the members who have failed at r~e-elec-
ton. They are all making complaints.
and 1 guess they have reason to. ] tell
you that these fellows who hang about
the capitol picking up the crumbs that
fall from the congressional table have o
keen eye for the main chance, and no
use whatever for a statesman whose
days of official life are numbered.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-03-20
Violin Making.
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun
An instructive discussion has arisen
in some of the musical journals in re-
gard to the making of violins. Mr..
Schradieck Of the Cincinnati College
of Music, an excellent performer upon
the violin, thinks that the secret of the
old Cremona makers has been discov-
cred, and that it consists in using for
their instruments the wood Of n tree
containing balsam. This tree, he says,
used to be planted in the neighborhood
of Gremona, but it is no longer to be
found in Italy. But at last the mar
yellous tree was found i'll this country.
and one was felled and sent to Cincin-
natl. Mr.. Schradieck does not tell
whether it was a pine, a spruce, ora fir,
all of which yield balsam, but
the wood, he says, is brittle
like glass and flies into. shivers.
Even when cut the way of the fibre, it
breaks off. and is SO hard that the tools
used to,cut become blunted very rapid
". Yet, violins made of it arc, he
thinks, equal to the best Cremonas 200
years old.
The other size of the discussion is
taken up by Mr.. George Gemunder of
Astoria He AYERS that none of the
great Cremona makers made yiolins of
nnyISart of balsam wood. and that tho
zeal aNcret of the quality possessed by
their Instruments does not lie so much
in the. Kind Of material employed in
their construction, as in the proper
forms and proportions of the different
parts of the instrument. 1t is, of courae,
important that the right kind CT ma
terial should be used, but the secret is
net in the wood.