The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1885-1888, 1885-12-31
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why Some People We Know Deserve to
lie Congratulated.

lie Congratulated.
President Cleveland Because he GER
tainly has the vast majority of the people
with him, and because his reception will
pass OF without the shedding Of any judicial
gore growing out Of the war OF precedence.
Colonel Daniel s. Lamont Because his
recent little fall from grace in writing
poetry about pretty young women's pretty
little feet in pretty little stockings has been
atoned for by the sensible advice which he
gave the President upon the amenities OF
official precedence
Secretary Bayard-Because he is gradu-
ally reaching the conclusion that this coun-
try can ret along very comfortably without
any diplomatic representation at courts
where the United States is not wanted; also
because II was the mild-mannered ex-Min-
lister Benjamin and not our robustlous
friend, Judge Hanna, who came in collision
with the harem Of the Persian Shah.
Secretary Manning Because he did not
allow the year to flicker out without the
issue OF a bond call from his department
Secretary Whitney-Because his scheme
for bringing order out of chaos in the man
agement Of the Navy Department is liable
to prevail; also, because he does not allow
that old chestnut Of war between the line
and staff of the navy to bother him.
Secretary Endicott-Because he has root
ed out the detailing of officers of the army
for duty on the Coburg system.
Attorney General Garland-Because even
New Years Day cannot induct him into
the festive swallow-tail coat.
Secretary Lamar--Because those people
who had been induced to believe that he
was dreamer and somnambulist have
given up that idea and come to regard him
as one Of the widest awake and brainiest of
all the Cabinet officers.
Postmaster-General Vilas-Because he is
not only running his Department on bust
ness principles with the assurance of q
great success, but because, in the opinion of
many veterans Of the late war, he is thought
to be the best available man for orator at
the Grant memorial services.
First Assistant Postmaster Adai L. Ste
venson-Because he doesn't believe in the
modern adage that the spoils OF victory
| belong to those who lost the fight.
Colonel Eugene Higgins because to the
deep horror of the Mugwumps he continues
to stay ard perform his duties in highly
commendable and yirile manner
Hon. Samuel j. Randall-Because he does
not retire to his tent in the sulks when the
| game goes against him.
| Speaker Carlisle-Because he has about
| completed the thankless job Of making up
| new list of House committees.
Hon. VIM. r. Morrson-Because it is the
other side who is horizontally reduced this
| time
The District Supreme Bench-Because in
personal encounter they could mop up
the floor with the Judges of the Court OF
| Claims.
Mr. Parnell and those who think with him
Because the new year opens with bright
| prospects of Home Rule for Ireland.
| The District emocrats--Because the new
year may hasten some more changes in the
District offices.
The United States-Because the New
Year is bright with PROMISE; because the
old flag still floats over the land of the brave
and the home of the free, and because the
eagle is in very good voice, thank you.
The member from Wayback- he
will do better at the White House reception
tomorrow than he supposed he would
when the wags told him he must appear il
full evening costume.