The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-03-19
A W0MANLESS REALM.
A SCREED FROM THE WILD BOA
NE9GsS OF The YELLOWSTONE.
Girls OF America, Look at Dakota ~,
''Ready to Hing All It's Gi0ries and
Its Fellows at Eour Feet"-
Come Northwest.

II. DOnRn IN New York sun.
Cupid is queer little chap; the older ha
grows the crankier he gets. He is a bigger fool.
maker to-day than he was 4,00J year; as-o.
when he induced Col Samson, the great orig
NAL lion-tail twister and congressional law
bone swinger, TO lay his wool and his glory in
the lap of a hali-negro Deliiah Tie is a more
resiStless moral tangler and colnmon-sense
smasher in this lO9ta year of Yankee Doodle
than when he made the Psalnlist David a
Mormon and an assassin. He is O more ecre-
gious ninny breeder now than
when he led all Homer's heroes
on that wild Grecian bender after
the Sarah Bernharlt of the TROJAN era. He
is more ineiFable idot-manufacturer this
moment than when, twenty centuries agono,
be wheedied Mark Antony-the ancestor Of
Susan B., who spells it with an "hn-into
casting aside the scepter OF the world for a
happy -pated Egyptian mulattress He is a
more uncomfortable heather amid ali our
Nineteenth century b!aze of Gospel light. and
liberty than when he and lis scantv-5kirted
mamma, Mrs. Venus, led the pagan orgies
of Attention damsels beneath the Shade of
ancient olive groves He is creations rarp.
lot, diGnity's dethroner, reasons upsetter
and scofer.
Fang Of hydrophohic cur never punched
as many madcap faneics into its victims
body a~ the slightes; graze OF one Of his tiny
m0lasscS candy shafts. Old women
cohless and ,hrivellcd, touched by the
IeStierous little archer who turks in rose
huds and cabbage heads, plaster their grave
yard countenancas with enamals AMI paints
eaough to gorge camp Of kickapoJ SQIaws,
swing gawds and gewgavs to every avail
able protUb2rnuca, pile ON sweet sixteen toy
gerry, and sm,rN AMI gigSle in style that
iuuaiics to suicide
The bigger the folly the surer
the stroke No freak is too wild, no
yagary too moustrou5 Eagles mate with
nlnles and swans with hedge-hor@, Tom
Thumbs pine for Goijaths; sons Of Anal wed
aumau hummiaEbirls; mighty Drained
heroes and statesmen rave over inane little
butterflies puny wax dolls, and tafry-faced
pi. yuies; kings bow down to ballet dancers,
and queens take refuge in the arms of COOKS
and coachmen; and, in all lands and chimes,
III every condition and STATE, the cupid
wounded gosIing and goslngess have hard
road to travel to paradise of squash-an
imaginary elysium, whose roses ara too
often rue.
All mascuIin.ty is doomed, soCr or later,
to be smitten, punctured, harpoonel; and,
sheltered beneath the mantle or wings
whichever he wears-of swift-cOming Saint
Valentine, ! wish to tell all woma2kInd that
nowhere else on earth is that shifting, pune
turing, and happening so easily done; no.
whore else beneath the sapphirean dome Of
heaven does Cupid, the Lilliputian gizzard-
piercer, come near having, like death, all
seasons for his own; nowhere else in ali the
grand rounds Of the sun and moon and peep
ing stars are the victims 50 plentiful and So
readily Catchable, crazable, and smashabe
as in the vast imperial regions of the new
northwest, the womaaless wonderland Of the
world
Girls of America, look at Dakota, with
four and a half men and boys to every
woman and girl Thousands OF young and en-
terprising meE, bonanza farmers aud miners,
raisers OF gold AMI golden grain, bankers,
| merchants, town-site proprietors, and boom
Grs, mining engineers and expert lawyers,
doctors, rGnchmen, army officers and mill
| ionaire editors, coming cOngre ssmen, gov
| errors, senators and cJnstables of the proud,
Sool-to-be northwestern giantcas Of the
| Union sisterbood, all dying to be struck with
| ioTeLled shafts, rendering even the misery
| Of it delicious Thousands on thou.
! sands of young men Of noble heart
and brain ard hrawn, too brave and ten.
| der and true to he wasted, all signing and
| longing to be hcart-spittad, gigged like sen
| timental founders--and not one marriagea-
bic girl to every hGlf-hGnlred Of them
Nearly every town in this greatest and
Craulcst Of the territories is in the same Iii
plorable fix counting its girls over every
night as carefully as 81 l-tImey ladies sis
their chickens or spoons, and nsvur able, by
any arithmetic, 10 scare up more than On
o. every fifty fellows. Tbs VIII le greai
American northwest gruans under the woe.
Of 60 similar restitution Think o. single
missionary in Manitoba, two or three year,
-n. with $50 bachelors under his euar..o
| and uut ore waddGhio iri er Eusain widow
Girls Of tGe won iu-crowled, oll-maj la
! rHmuating older states, here IS the field j
| yul; Lsrc You are eado :; here you are 1T a
| premium; here you are sure OF IA drzan nus
auus apiece, if you want them here is al
mpire, stretching 1908 miles to the nprbi
| "a west, up the Saskatchewan and aero
! a.. mighty Rockies 70 the gyiieu slgp5, #
! tSv baciuc-un empire va ter and grln4 r.
more fertile ami beautiful AMI glorious than
| ever Home's gildod eagles giittered over in
| her paluicst days Of power ana romp and
| prlle-thut waits the coming o. its mis-
| jrrs,as, its princesse5 aud its qasana Il is
ready to fling ali its glories and its fellow.
| ~ your feet Without you it is doomed t,
| be vast. sky-roafed. horizon Walled prison