davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-02-20
HUMOROUS.

Why are the first steps Of child
Ike the present condition OF ballooning?
Its the uncertain navigation Of the heir.
"A Leeds paper says that a young
widow Of that city who writes well Is
training herself for an editor. but the
paper doesn't say who the editor IL.
lis it advisable to attempt to study
the violin without trainer II none can
be procured?' asks correspondent
Not unless you live in the middle Of .
prairie. W. Chicago Tribune.
The public buildings in England
have hard time of it. The contract
ors knock down about forty per cent
on each one Of them. and then the
Fenians blow up what is left. bur
dctfc.
Standing on ceremony, THAT was
funny story Mr.. Dixon told, Aunt
Jessie the one that made you laugh so
much. You KNOW Yes Why didn't
non laugh. Ida?" ..Oh. don't know
Mr.. Dixon well enough Harpcr's
Bdzdr.
One Of the attractions in dime
museum i thurman fly.' He proba-
blv came from Canada. Anyhow. 1t Is
known that the human flv there about
the timely time, SO to speak-a big
hank dcfalcation Is reported in this
country.
-Mothcr-..Arc YOU quite sure, dear,
that young Featherly i not fond Of
YOU? lie certainly seemed very devoted
last night when he buttoned your
glove" Daughter 'Ah. YES. mother,
but his hand never tremblcd. ~ y.
SIM.
DOCS not the practical joking of
some Of your scholars annoy you ut
times, Mr.. Blackboard?n Very
much. have always had an abhor-
renee Of practical jokes in any form, but
70 some Of the pranks played BY the
boys such a. placing bent pins in my
chair. for instance my dislike is par
ticularly deep seated. ~ Y. Times.
"a" do they have housekeeping days
in Heaven. map little Someryille girl
inquired the other day. "Why. certain
" not. dear: what put that into your
lead?" because the angels sweep;
don't thcy?" ..What gave YOU such 4
notion as ihat?" PA did. lie said
YOU were spectacle in Mother Hub
bard that would make the angels
sweep. -LoaisriAe Couricr.Journaf.
Mistress Of the house: Who i at
the door. Bridget? Bridget; The
butcher. mum. althcr his money. Mis-
tress az the house: And did you tell
him that wasn't at homer Bridget:
Yes MUM Mistress Of the house:
What did he say Bridgtt: Shurc.
MUM he axcd me whin W wud be at
home. and Oh tould him that We were
rat home" on Thursdays. -- NJ 4.
| Times.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-02-20
IN DISGUISE.
How Mrs. Rose Entertained an
Angel Unawares.

a happier proudcr little woman than
MR.. Rose. when at last the deed OF a
house and home in her own name was
given her by Tom. you never saw. To
be- sure. il had been bought subject to a
mortgage held by wealthy np-country
sfock-raiser. who let out his money that
way: that. together with the fact that
il was liable To foreclosure ncT- at any
time. was the only drop Of bitterness in
the cup; and when that was paid of.
bli>- would b. running over. But.
meanwhile. what model house and
home II was 70 be; out side. blessing
to the eye Of the passer-by; and inside,
paradise to the dwellcr; and all its
work 10 run on a Perfect system. and
the servants to adore her. Then as for
the neighborhood. in what hospitality
Bios .ombank was to glory always a
fork laid al table for an otherwise un-
expected guest. always welcome
ready. the house refuge for all the
human race who should claim il. And
II baby shonl b. hung in a basket on
the door-handlc. oh. heavens, what joy,
And II a traveller should break his leg
in the street. and b. brought in for
weeks Of healing. then joy again 1t
might h. an angel in Disguise And. in
truth. murh " Ter purpose was fulfilled
the place abounicd in hospitality: the
nciGhtorS did love 10 run in: the scrv-
ants did adore her The sisters and
brothers and husband chaticd Mrs. Rose
a little. hut. on ihcwhnl", Blossombank
for all IT, mort gage was a nest Of hap
pincsS. Yet when The traveller did come.
he did not look III all like an angel in
disguise.
They Were AZ tea one ~ their ord-
nary teas. ut which. when the table was
full. the rest ~at about where they could.
aud all was gay and happy as If there
was h~t mortgage in the world when
Mandy. the table girl. whispered in
Mrs. Rose ear some words that made
that laughing lady's face look grave u
moment. and then irradiate with in
effable happiness.
'-Oh. what j. II now. Rose?" cried
Belle. II know YOU W Just heard Of
some horrible ease II distress by your
face.
Awful said. Rose. rising Awful.
A poor man struck with paralysis in his
wagon ont here BY the gate.
Paralysis IN his wagon" said
Sarah. who was always amused by
Roses agonics.
Paralysis said Belle.
II suppose -. Mand, SAYS his horse
stopped at the brow of the hill
That he did. mem. and won't bulge.
and there's dozen men and boys out
there. and two Of them has climbed the
wagon and shook him. and he's a.
sound w. log. The Seven Slccpcr>
couldn't wake him
The poor. poor fellow said Mrs.
Rose. .'.In~t think how dreadful Away
from home. nobody knowing who III /
or whore NJ belongs. struck down III
The dark Oh. II makes my blood ruin
cold And W. mustn't stand talking
about n. and he perhaps diving" And
koSn was hurrying 10 the door and ont
into lhe Niay-ni~lt chill and dusk. with
nut hat ~ shawl. ami every body was
ilocking after hcr
OH r has certainly had stroke
said Rose, al She clnmbcrcd down
from The wagon whore he figure sat
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-02-20
FIELD-MARsHAL FRITZ.


The naggagemaster's story.
We never knew tho MarShals name;
He won his THE from my mate
fieldNarrhnl Frltx: from whence he camc
We didn care-until too late.
IT'S strange how well now recall
The wealth OF color IN his lace.
His white mu~tachc. his fgure tall -
A type familiar 10 his race.
We grew 20 know him very well,
For every day he came 10 say.
With anxious voice. "iflen>e, can you tell
l. my small Lena come to-day
Each day for years. through rain and shine.
He used the srlf-sainc words and tone.
And searched the rooms along the line
And sadly turned away alone.
Sometimes hc sought the cmlgranfs.
Aud Piled his eager questions there.
but all they gave WAS pity glnnce;
Perhaps II kept him from despair.
We often asked him Lcnas age;
sixteen. he said. with thoughtful mirn;
Old Time had balanced Lrnnr page
To Fritz she never passed sixteen.
heard the story ~ad at last
How I.enn's ship. longscar- ngone,
One stormy night ashore was cast
And sank with aii-bcforc the dawn.
We knew az course. thai Fritz was daft,
That why the boys. u my belief,
NJ Ef~ quaint UNurt never lduFntls
And always listened 20 his grief.
Yet we couli see. dcspte nis smile.
That disappointment constant wear
Was eating. like a cruel nile.
Into his old.tlmc hopeful air.
think he felt the truth az last.
Im SURF guessed IL bv the way
He muttrrcsI. a. he sighed and passed:
mo little Lena comes to-day"
Yet come she d'd; one sunny morn
he whispered word was swiftly brought
That Fritz. while on hi search forlorn.
Beneath an engines wheels was caught
His hurt was mortal. yet nc smiled
Prom where his mangci form was propp's
And beckOncd to- us-~lS mcin child
T. little Lena there he stopped.
A look Of rapture filled hts face.
He stretched his arms and softly cried
.'Ach Lena. hcre--herc H. the place,
Thcn-a~ they the -obbcd and died.
~. X. Ross, ~ fDurir-J0uF1ial.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-02-20
rnr ELEPHANT AND TIE HARE.

A Hare who was Running for Life to
Escape m Enemy happened TO pass an
Elephant.
..IIei ho,' called the great Beast.
"bui here i my chance 70 do my Little
Friend great Favor without costing
me "A cent
Thcreupon he seized her with his
Trunk a. The passed and swung her
into the branches III the tree overhead.
.Alas" cried the Hare moment
after. "y0u have rescued me from the
Wolf to give me over to the serpent!
might possibly haze outrm the Wolf,
hui here | have no show against my
Enemy.
MORAL:
Never throw man down stairs Il
prevent his falling down hatchway.
Detroit Free Press.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-02-20
the PATRIOT AND the MONKEY.


A Parrot and Monkey one dav be-
gan Dispute a. to which Of them had
the better right 10 be called Handsome
IL have Limpid black Eyes" cx-
claimed the Monkey.
And have Plumage like the Rain
bowl replied the Parrot
IL am the better Climber
..And can Fly,'
The Dispute waxcd so hot that II was
finally Agreed 70 leave the Question TO
Sage living near IN.
Ladies and Gentlemen he re-
marked. when the case had been stated,
1.-The Rose and the Violet are Sweet To
look upon. but when you want some
thing Real Solid take cabbage-hcad. !"
MORAL:
If you pick Wife for her dimplcs
don't Bcwail the fact that she can I
make Bread.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-02-20
FABLES.
some DiSfisctively American Apology
with striking MoraIs.

with striking MoraIs.
A Fox one day met Peasant and
Remarked that he took great Pleasure
in Informing him that he had Decided
to Reform his Conduct.
.-Wcll. am Heartily Glad Of IL. re-
piled the Peasant, land | will do all
that | can to Strengthen your good
Resolutions
Next day a. the Fox Approached the
Peasants Cottage the man came out
and dubbed him of.
rs this the way You Strengthen my
good RcSolutionS." exclaimed Rcy-
nard. in voice of Patho~.
The less You see Of my Chickens the
more apt YOU will he TO stick 70 your
good Intentions. replied the Peasant.
Is he hcayed another Club.
MORAL:
Don't leave your Watch and Re
formed Burglar Hanging on the same
Nail.
, 1885-08-13
CLOSE CALL.
A Little Boy Narrowly Escapes Being
Killed VIM a Rnttle.


Willie, a little son Of J. A. Morrison,
of this city, met with an accident yester-
day which vas a close call for his life. He
was running along Fifteenth street east of
Warren avenue, when some one threw a
bottle from a house there which grazed
the boys head, splitting his left ear and
cutting an ugly cash in his throat so near
to the jugular vein as almost to touch it.
The boy ran screaming to his home near
by and his mother, seeing the wound, was
so frightened that she tainted, and the
father went for DIR. Wyman, who went
Immediately and dressed the hurts. He
found them not dangerous, but as before
stated n of them so near to the ~iugular
vein as to have almost tremendously
missed it. Had the jugular vein been cut
the boy would have bled to death before
assistance could have reached him. As it
was the wounds were closed up with court
plaster and the little fellow was doing
very well at last accounts, though he
tainted shortly after the doctor left. from
nervous prostration caused by fright. The
mar who threw the bottle into the street
had no intention Of harming the boy. as
he did not know anybody was passing at
the time.
, 1885-08-13
WOUNDED IN THE WAR.
A Cheyenne Lady who Bears Scars OF
he Late Unpieasantness.


Come up to my house Sunday after
noon SAID j. +. Julian OF this city, to
a LEADER reporter one day last week,
ana IL give you a real old fashioned
hentucky billed dinner that will do your
soul eoou. Mrs. Julian is hentuckian,
ana she awiui proud OF It, and she
Knows now to eook that KIND OF a dinner
10 Dourpoh taste Inc reporter went
according 10 invitation last sunday and
go' thc uinher' bacon and greens, corn
oreau' nut'erinilk' mashed potatoes
oAAeu' irieu chicken WITH gravy, delicious
par'n,p7' a spiehaid cup oil coiiee' apple
uump,ngs' ana altogether a dinner that
nc nau peen longing Tor then after Dime
d fragrant cigar ou' on the portlco' and
, 1885-08-13

The Omaha Republican speaking of the
reduction of hours in the Union Pacific
shops of hat city says:
Inquiry elected the fact that the cause
for this order was want OF material and
work. Some time ago a great many stock
cars were brought into the shops for re-
pairs and 4 large number of other cars
upon which Westinghouse air brakes
were to be put. Extra men were put in
the shops to do this work, and in one or
two departments the men were on ten
hours time. Some of the work has been
completed, and material is wanting to
finish the remainder. In nearly all the
shops the men were working only nine
hours a day. but in one or two depart
ments they made full time. The present
order allows them to work only forty
four hours a week, three-quarters time.
The moulders, however, will work nine
hours for five days in each week, which
ends Friday night. Work begins at 8
O'Clock in the morning,
, 1885-08-13
Personal

- Chas D. Opilyie. of Denver il here
r n N,.an ..a II u
of omoha !. I, rhana
~
o""p,''" 'ioI'oe . WIG a"u u"uen'e
Yesterday "oh " '"o month
"''' uo"" io"a-
Max ldelman returned yesterday from
trip to Utah and Western Wyoming.
rroi' Aughcy and Mr. West have gone
10 'he ria'oe river, east oil the Seminoe
mountains 10 look Tor FOSSIL remains'
Geo. Hollis pleasant face is visible
again in the old reliable bookstore. He
has been several weeks out to his ranch.
A. r. johnson has been EMPLOYED rs
the city editor of the resurrected Tribune.
He is an old-timer in CHEYENNE and will BIZ
able to corral the news and he can certainly
put it into good shape. The ape makes
its second appearance on earth next Sat
urday.
Hon Georoe Mi,cbel mo,ooer Of ,bo
Wyoming and Milwaukee Jrves,mor,
eompanv. returned Yesterday from Wis.
consin He came down tho homo s,ra,cb
in single harness not having a ,~ro,tino
mate as was oxnac,ed he would bove vbor
ba left bere IN 90 IN tho s,or,;rr no;r,
He Is velI.conditioned and comes in Will
, 1885-08-13
JACK SMITH.
some Points Concerning a S~coundreI
Who IL at Large.

THE LEADERS Lander correspondent
writes as follows:
Jack Smith, COW thief, scducer, and at
tempted murderer, has escaped from the
Green River jail. Smith is "A Fremont
county desperate and was arraigned be-
fore u June term of district court. Six
indictments were found against him by
the grand jury for cattle killing, and one
for assault with intent to commit murder.
Smith came here from the Texas cattle
range two years ago and went to work at
the CD ranch, Big Horn BASIN. From
there he entered the outfit of Capt. II. A.
Torrey, of Owl creek, same section. He
left this ranch a year ago swearing ven
geance against Capt. Torrey for some
alleged wrong. This vengeance he pro
ceeded to wreak last winter by killing
tho captain 5 cattle on the range. To
effect this he entered the employment of
a ranchman on the range adjoining Tor
rey's, who resides in Lander. during the
winter. This gave Smith the opportunity
he wanted. Surrounding himself with a
few characters OF like kidney, he killed
Torrey's cattle all winter. A few days
banquet of the choice portions of a beef
would be made, the balance thrown AWAY,
or given to the Indians, and another
butchered He kept a whole band of
Ghnehono Tn1,ons - mon. koor H.. H..
could eat all winter, they making the
ranch their headquarters, the squaws and
the gang, sleeping in brutal RIGHTEOUSNESS.
With the breaking Of winter, came also
news to the outside world of these out
RACES. Smith was betrayed by one of his
W gang, but he spared our officials the
trouble of going after him by arriving in
Lander one spring morning with the
young and pretty wife of a squatter This
last capture he bestowed Mt our leading
hotel, and closely watched by the officers,
paid a visit to some friends in the vicinity.
While there the bereit benedict arrived
in the city and finding his wife by her
self talked her into going back to Kansas
with him to her parents. The reunited
couple started, but Smith took the trail
like a bloodhound. On reaching his prey
he kept up a close and rapid fire from a
Colt's Is calibre revolver. Three bullets
passed through the husbands hat and a
few more found passage through his cloth
ing. Unconditional surrender followed,
and with It deadly threat t%ingling his ears
the unhappy married man took the road
for the railway, while Smith aud his re-
covered mistress in each others arms
watched him depart. But now the officers
put in an appearance and Smith and the
woman were taken back to Lander whittier
the husband was brought also in Il day or
two. Smith graced the county jail and
the husband and wife were held as wit
nesses. Before the district court he took
a change of venue TO Sweetwater county
on all seven counts and in default of
50, 900 bail was placed in the Jail at Green
River to await the action of the next term
of our While in jail here he formed
an atrocious plan to kill the %jailer and es-
cape and nearly succeeded.
GEO. r. CALDWELL.
, 1885-08-13

Henry Burbanks bought yesterday of
Organ 4 Hammond twenty-five head of
cow with calves and one thoroughbred
bull The cattle will be taken to the owner 4
ranch on the Platte, near Fort Laramie.
Teschler Il Bro. sold on the 10th in
Chicago a train load of Texas cattle.
which averaged l,0l5 pounds and brought
AGO.
Wood Bros. of Chicago, sold on the
18th for the Bay State Cattle company,
of this territory, Texas steers weighing
1910 pounds and bringing $3.50, and ma
tive Wyoming cattle weighing Lis
pounds and bringing $4.O3i.
Rosenbaum 4 Bass, Of Chicago, on the
18th sold one train load OF native Wyo.
ming steers, bringing s455.
, 1885-08-13
Amer an Autograph.

Nitct an autograph.
Bill Barlow, in the Rock Springs hide
pendent, thus gives a touch of nature:
Idon't object to writing a few words in
an autograph album, when asked to do
SO by a girl, young, sweet and pretty.
Under such an inspiration my thoughts
flow as easy and smooth as beer out of a
patent faucet, and | have written things
then that Bill Shakespeare never thought
Of But the autograph album is not the
property of beauty alone.
At Beaver Canyon, Idaho, where | was
operator for Il time, a young lady with a
hare lip and two warts on her nose, came
into the office and wanted to know if |
VAS the ''orpurator, She said Sal Hig-
gins told her | eould write Jest boss in
an autograph album, and she wanted me
To write John Erasmus Abraham Lin
coin Andrew Jackson Fremont Smiths
name in her new album. Talk about
your city bellesl This girl was a whole
chime of bells and a steam whistle be-
sides; and when she twisted that hare lip
up in shape, preparatory to swapping
sides with three cakes of spruce gum, she
would elevate her eyes till they looked
like two fried eggs in a pan of skim milk,
and a Shoshone squaw was positively
handsome in comparison. | took
the album and asked her if she
didn't think John Erastus etc.
was about twenty four karat, a yard wide
and full weight. You met your lifer'
said the damsel, with a broad lisp, and an
open smile that almost laid me ont cold.
Your shoutin now. and he can put ms
duds in my trunk just as soon rs Squire
Higgins gifts back. You wouldn't think
it, but I'm seven years older than John
Eastus, but dern If | care. Id ruther
have him than any other Teller on these
whole plains, and with II pcnsive look in
her eye and the eud of gum in her left
check, she hummed the p%laintiye air of
"Will you love me when I'm old. The
girl made me feel sick and lonesome. /
just thought it would cure eastern girls Of
the album craze, to see this fascinating
creature of the rugged west. with a ten
cent fan sluug Ia her slender(O waist,
hugging a 50. 50 album presented to her
by Prairie Dog Pete, alias John Eras-
tut, etc, But the gum chewing habit and
| "a louinu laarf NAV In pa1ea.aad lac tha
, 1885-08-13
How is That for nisht

Forced to sell good against their wish,
or before ready for business, the Red
Front shoe store, branch of the two IA
o Buffalo shoe stores Of Denver, are
opening up a large store in our city with
some large bankrupt stocks from the east.
The public learning this to be the case,
seemed bound to go there and buy before
ready for opening, owing to delay of arri-
val Of goods. Yesterday they had a
good run of trade and if goods arrive to-
day as are expected. then look out for a
rush at the Red Front,
This is what Cheyenne needs, u store
that will sell goods at living prices, and
you can bet they have got it now. The
Buffalo Shoe Co. is well known all over
the West, and now this store is added to
their list of many. A lease tor one year
and privilege of two years is secured.
, 1885-08-13

All travellers stopping for a time in
Cheyenne can find the best accommoda-
tons in the city at the Western Hotel ON
Fifteenth street The location is agreea-
BILE and convenient, rooms pleasant and
newly furnished, meals the best a frst
class cook can prepare FROM the finest
materials in the market, walters who un-
derstand their business, the best liquors
and cigars in the bar room art among the
many attractions of this popular house.
HERMAN KIMME, proprietor.
, 1885-08-13
LOCAL MAVERICKS.


The Bicycle clubs social party come
off tomorrow evening.
To morrow, Friday. evening, occurs tn,
Bicycle clubs social party.
Don't forget the social party of tn,
Bicycle club to morrow, Friday, evening.
There is talk off general strike along
the u. p. 1t is to be hoped that it viii
not occur.
There is a Denver detective in town who
is distressfully non .committal to news
paper men.
Lieut.. Bailey, of X company, Twenty
first infantry, left Yesterday for Fort Steele
with his men.
Yesterday was the hardest day for news
OF the season. There was not even SO
much as a d drunk before the police justices.
The Cheyenne Bicycle club will give its
seventh social party on to-morrow, Friday,
evening, instead Of the Dist inst, as an
nounced heretofore.
A loose horse with a buggy attached
ran into Abney's stable yesterday without
taking good aim, and smashed the vehicle
against the side of the door. .
Ed. Stable mounted n bicycle yesterday
for the first time and rode it at once with
out any trouble. He seemed to be a nat
ural master of the wheel.
Wyoming officials and detectives are
everywhere active in pursuit of horse
thieves and other wrong doors. There
will be a big haul one of these days.
Mr.. Calland, who has a large lumber
yard in this city, will leave in a few days
to go to Valentine and Chadron, Neb.
where he expects to start lumber yards.
The cattle shipments are late this
season for the reason that ON account of
the green and growing condition of the
grass the cattle are soft yet and not many
have been gathered for market.
The Signal Service officer reports that
the highest temperature yesterday was
s0.4'; lowest, 4S.0'; mean temperature
co.,; mean humidity, $50 per cent; high
est velocity of wind II miles per hour.
Mr.. Keeie has completed a bridge
across Pole creek, IN the road leading to
the settlements on Little Horse creek
The bridge is ls4 feet in length, and 1000
feet of lumber have been used in its con
struction. The bridge has been accepted
by the commissioners
Take a sin of paper and Mace tbcreon
in figures. your aye in Years ~dropr;ng
months. weeks and DAYS Multiniv tho
sum by two; then add to the result oh
tanned the figures q 76s. add two and d.
vide by two. Subtract from the result
obtained the number of our wears on
earth, and see if you do not obtain figures
you will not be likely TO forget.
The prisoners in the county iail vester.
day allowed the old satan in them to get
the upper hand. and during the greater
part of the forenoon raised a nandemon;-
um by shouting, yelling, beating on the
sides of their cells, and raising sbeol gen.
orally. Sheriff Craig had them locked mn
in separate cells and that didn't sion il.
finally he had the leaders manacled and
now an is quiet along that line.
Sneak;ng IF ~ portr;dco ,bo ,ns,r
innate who stretcbed ham l.s, SatnrJn.
evening At Fort sanders tho Roomoran1
saws he vos brr;od a, m MI. 10
the city cemetery II has since boon
learned that his mother Mrs q Part,
r;dge resides reor CoFeyr;IIo Kos and
that he has sister res;J;ng =, Omabo
and another in Cb;oaao Coronor Re-
;n,onds 70 wr;,o 20 Nj pou.;a- -
, 1885-08-13
A RELIAnLE AnrICLE

For enterprise, push aud a desire to get
such goods as will give the trade satisfae-
ton, W. y. Hunt leads all competition.
He sells DR., Bosanko's Cough and Lung
Syrup, because its the best medicine on
the market, for coughs, colds, Group and
primary consumption, Price 80 cts. and
Sl.OO. Samples free.
, 1885-08-13

Having engaged an experienced me
chanic, am now prepared to do all kinds
of worHon watches, clocks and jewelry
charges moderate aud all work guaranteed,
Give us a trial and be convinced. Chey-
emit Loan office under Masonic building
4 RINooISkY.