The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-06-19
Daniel o'connell and Biday E.ori

z D"iiiei SoiGoi "aa iee d
young ma his talcnv for vituperatiye
language was so great that he was
deemed matchless as a scoll. There
lived in Dublin certain woman, Bijay
Moriarty by name, who kept a huckster
stall on one OF the Quays nearly oppo
site the -Four Courts. She was a first
class virago-formidable with both fist
and tongue-so that her voluble i'm
pudeNce had become almost proverbial
in the country roundabout.
Some of O'Connel's friends thought
that he could defeat her with her own
weapons, while others ridiculed the
idea. The Kerry barrister could not
stand this; SO he backed himself for a
match. Bets were offered, and taken,
and it was decided tLat the matter
should be settled at once. SO proceed
ing to the huckster's stall with a few
friends O'Connell commenced the at
tack on the old lady.
whats the price of this walking
stick, Mrs. Whats-your-name?"
"Moriarty, sir, is my name, and a
good II it is: and what have you to
say agin it? and acknowledgements tile
price of the stick. Troth it's cllape as
dirt, so i It's"
"One-and-sixpence for a walking
stick; whew! Why, you are no better
than an impostor to ask eighteen pence
for what cost Jon two pence"
1.-Two pence, your grandmother" re-
piled Mrs. Bildv. do you name to
say that's chatting the people L am?
Impostor, indeed!" :
CAY, impostor; and it's that I call you
to our teeth" rejoined O'Connall.
Come, cut your stick, YOU c~ansanker-
ous ~lachanapes."
"keep q civil tongue iii your head,
you old diagonal" cried O'Connell,
calmly.
stop yonr jaw, you pug-nosed
badger, OF by this and that" cried Mrs.
Moriarty, "I1lmake you go quicker nor
you came"
Don't be in a passion, my old radius
anger will only wrinkle your beauty"
by the hockey, if you say another
word of i%mpudence. I'd tan your dirty
hide, you bastel,v common scrub; and
sorry Id be to soil my fists upon your
carcase."
"Whew. boys, what q passion old Bid
dy is il; l protest as | ANA gentleman
"Jiltleman! iintleman, the likes of
,von a iintleman! Wisha, by cor. that
bangs Banager. Why, you potato-faced
pippin-sneczaG, when did a NADIA
gascar monkey ike you pick enough of
Kerry brogue?"
Easy ~now-easy now" cried O'Con-
nell, with imperturbable good humor;
don't choke yourself with fine Ian
gnage, you old whiskev-drinking paral-
telegram"
What's That you call ne, you muir
derin' villain % yoared Mrs. Moriarty,
stung with fury.
81 call you" answered O'Connell, "a
parailelogram; and a Dublin Judge and
jury viii say that its no libel to call
YOU so"
cob, tare-an-ouns! oh, holy Biddy.
that Al honest woman like me should be
| called Il par-ybellygrum to her face.
I'm zone of your parrvbellygrums, YOU
r1lsctlly g%allows birl: YOU cowardly j..
sneaking, plate Iickin' bliggard!"
ooh, not YOU, indeedw retorted
O'Connell why, Isuppose You'll deny
that you keep Il hvpotilenuse in your
house"
Its u lie for you, you BY robher;
I never had such a thing in my house.
swinGling thief"
why, sure all your neighbors know
very we'll that you keep not only a
hypothenuse, but that you have two
aiameters locked up in yonr garrett,
and that you go out to walk with
them every Sunday, YOU heartless old
heptagon."
"Oh, hear that, We saints in glory
Oh, there's bad language from a fellow
that wants to pass for a lintleman. May
the devil fly away with you, you. wicher
from Munster. and make celerv-sauce OF
your rotten limbs, you meaiy-moutned
tub Of CUTS"
"Ah, you can't deny the charge, you
miserable sub-multiple Of a duplicate
ratio"
GO, rinse your mouth in the LiTfey,
you nasty ticklepitcher latter all the bad
words you speak it ought to be tilthier
than your face, you dirty chicken OF
Beelzebub."
Rinse your W mouth. you wicked
minded polygon-to the deuce 1 pitch
you, you clustering intersection of q
st-ng supericies!"
"You saucy tinker's apprentice, if you
don't cease your jaw Ill-" But here
she gasped for breath, unable to hawk
up any more words, for the last volley
OF O'Connell had nearly knocked the
wind out of her.
while [ have a tongue I'll abuse
you, you most inimitable periphery.
Look at her, boys! there she stands-a
convicted perpendicular in p~etticoats
There's contamination in her circum-
ference, and she trembles with guilt
down to the extremities of her ~corollar.
les. All! you're found out, you rectl,
linear-antecedent and e%quiangular old
bag. Ills with you the devil will fly
away, you porter swiping similitude OF
the dissection of a vortex"
Overwhelmed with this torrent O.
language, Mrs. Moriarty was silenced
Catching up q saucepan, she was aim
ing at O'Connell's head when he yer,
%prudently made a timely retreat.
"You have won the wager, O'Connell
here's your bet," cried the gentleman
who had proposed the contest.