Morning journal and courier., 1885-10-26
HEST.

BoyTwho does not appreciate sermons) )- We'll, I'd just like to know what preaching's for any way? Small sister-Why, it's to give the singers rest.-Life.
 s'I am a martyr" said a boarder at poor ly-kept boarding house. "Why?" asked the new arrival. "Oh, because I suffer at the steak" was the rejoinder. Ar gus.
 Wisconsin has a preacher with foot twenty inches long, says an exchange. "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings."- Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. If you address the poorest person in Swed- en it is the universal custom to raise your hat-Boston Journal But how are you going to know who is the poorest person in Standardization Commercial Bulletin.
 A poet sings: s'I threw my love to him, and it hath gone astray." Of course. If she had thrown 8 stone at COW, the missile would have gone astray too. The better plan would have been to carry her love to him in abasket.-Norristown Herald.
 One of the richest men in Texas, Ross Kennedy by name, has been sentenced to the penitentiary for two years for stealing COW. He ought to have killed somebody if he wanted to be a nice, clean criminal, able to excite the sympathy of jury.-New Orleans Picayuue.
 "What is the origin of motion? ased cele brated preacher. We'll, there are many origins. A call to come up and have { drink will bring fifty men to their feet in 8 second, and a spider down girls back is the origin of some of the Hveliest motion the world ever saw.-Philade!phia Chronicle Herald.
 sI wonder if they eat bananas with the peel on in Japans" said young Quizz to his moth CT. q guess not, my son. What put that funny idea into your headg" she replied. ''Why, I was reading this morning that swearing was wholly unknown in that coun- try, and I thought probably people ate their banana peel l"-Cincinnati "Sam."
 Scepticism Cured.-''Mr Ingersoll, did you ever try bottle of my Magic Anti-Fat Remedy?" asked the proprietor of a patent medicine. 'T never did," remarked Colonel Ingerson blandly 'You should try bot tie. It does all that claim for it in my ad- vertisement." "What do you say in your advertisementi' "That single bottle will convince the most skeptical "-Texas Sift- ings.
 Evansville has most delightful climate and is noted for it's bedbugs. An old lady residing here requires her granddaughter, a high school miss, Ito read to her daily some portion of the revised edition. While SO on gagged recently the young lady stopped sud denly: "Why, grandma, I declare here is a grammatical error" The old lady replied: ssNo matter, darling; kill it and go ahead. J
 tWell, the fruit crop might be set down as total failure," said the superintendent of the largest fruit canning factory in the State. "A total failure, you might call it.' "That will almost close your establishment then, '' said the visitor ''Oh! nol no!' replied the superintendent. "On the contrary, we have to employ an additional force. Years when there is no fruit we turn our attention almost entirely to putting up jelliss; and then, little later on, if the potato crop turns out as we expect, we will can about 5000, 900 pounds of pears. , And as the visitor, silent with the great awe that falls upon common people when they stand in the presence of genius, went softly out of the office, he saw car load ot hoofs and horns unloading at the doors ot the jelley partment.-Exohange