Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1885-07-02
LADY COrTONBLOOM.
CHAPTER 1.

don't want to marry me you needn't,
that's all. l have been playing the
slave long enough. Ihave been caper-
ing to your whims until my Judgment
tells me-"
your judgment, Mr.. Hamp'
"Yes, my judgment "
judgment, Mr.. Ham"
Neither did the people who marked
my devotion to YOU"
''Oh, you are very complimentary
and so charming of manner. Why,
sir, your name alone is quite
little social gathering, Bucksnort
Ham,"
"Quite as good name, thank you,
as Puss Hennitin. am not ashamed
of my ancestors
"Oh, you had ancestors, had your
You are surprising as well as enter
tanning"
II do not doubt you are surprised.
Ancestry unquestionably has strange
sound to yon."
"What are you quarreling aboutp"
asked an old lady entering the room
where the young woman and young
man sat glazing at each other.
"Why, you are enough to make a
person believe that you are already
married"
Bucksnort Ham was an Arkansaw
planter. He was all, If not more, than
his name implied. Once when he
was a member of the legislature, a
citizen told newspaper correspondent
that one of the general assemblymen
was named Bucksnort Ham, and
straightway the correspondent went
into the house and picked out the
identical man. He did not seem so
much to have fitted himself to the
name as the name seemed to have fit
ted itself to him. He had way of
blowing his nose-and it sounded like
the snort of buck-and his back, at
q little distance, looked exactly like a
canvassed ham. He seemed to have
been designed to create favorable
sensation in the legislature, for he
voted against every appropriation and
labored hard to reduce the salaries of
state officers. He was shrewd dem
agogue, always keeping one eye on
his constituents and the other on his
per diem.
Miss Puss Hennifin was dim eyed.
She was languid, like caterpillar
that has staid out all night in the dew.
She read American novelists whose
plots are pitched IN foreign lands. She
was not handsome, but people said she
was good. The mourners' bench at
Mount Catnip church could have i'll
spared her. In the autumn she shed
tears at the altar; in the winter she
faced her "podner" and shuffled to the
sound of a greasy old fiddle. She
wanted to marry q duke. She might
have compromised on a lord, but an
ordinary member of an ordinary legis-
lature was below the "last chance"
mark.
Mrs. Hennifin was said to be good
old soul. She was kind of eggs and
buffet mfser. Her late husband often
said that she would get up at night
and after gloating over her eggs in
numerous recounts, affectionately pat
her butter. She was kind old lady,
and every winter gave the circuit ri
der pair of home-knit socks.
II say what are you two quarreling
aboutp" continued the old lady.
MADAM" replied Mr.. Bucksnort
Ham, 81 have asked your daughter to
be my wife and she has refused"
IVY, Puss, how can you be so
rude?"
Miss Puss flirted herself Into pas
sion.
"Why should / marry him, motherp
What can he promise mep"
'.He can promise to make you a
good living, child. That's what he
can promise.
"a gooo living" the young woman
contemptuously repeated. what do
care about good livingp Think that
all care about is to sit down and eatP
A dog can make a good living"
II can promise you more than thai"
said Mr.. Ham. 81 am going to be
candidate for the senate. A recent
amendment to the constitution of the
United States-though don't suppose
you ever read politics-says that each
state senator shall be a lord with the
privilege of selecting any name he may
see fit. BY marrying me you would
become lady so-and-so, according to
the name we might select. If am
elected, | shall name my farm Cotton
bloom. Then I shall be known as
Lord Cottonbloom-an original and
flowery name. OF course I'll not press
this matter. Most any young lady
would like to become Lady Cotton
wood; so If you persist in your refusal,
l will lay my title at the feet of some
other woman
"Law, Puss, do you hear thatP'
exclaimed the old lady.
s'Of course 1 hear it, maw," replied
the Young lady. II have always re-
spected Mr.. Ham, and have never
refused to listen to him. i knew that
the law had passed, and l very well
knew that should Mr.. Ham desire
IL, he could go up into the house oil
lords instead of remaining In the
house of commons.
"Well, ladies'" said Mr.. Bucksnor'
Ham, 81 must go out and formal,
announce myself as a candidate
Practically, shah have no opposition
but 1t is better to show myself to thu
people," :,
"bon't be in hurry" tho old lad,
remarked.
'sOh, no, there is no need OF making
80 short visit" said the young lady
ssrll see you again soon," replied
the future lord of Cottonbloom.
CHAPTER III.
AZ l.. I.x< -.