Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-17
BRIGHT BITS.

'sBEwARE Of limitations" rs the monkey
sand to the de.--Sarhagtom 'Frse Press
How cen awomsh with her hands f1ll Of
troubes be eSpeetea 10 Bold her tongue
Pfftsbarg GAroniSJs. i'f"'5e ~
'rnE Governor Ola State prison ought to he
ptied, for a man with six or eight hundred
felOns on his hands is deserving Of sympathy.
--LOioeU CjtiseR.
FIFTY young ladies were made bachelors
last week at Boston college. If this thing
continues there will he a shortage in old
maids. PA5{adelDhjd CGN.
SAM JONES has engaged in the laudable, but
ambitious task Ot saving souls in Cincinnati.
HIS efforts for the present, il is needless TO
say, are devoted TO finding the sOuls.-Ndsh-
0ilIs Union.
"PAPA. how is angels made?)' asked "a little
hoy Of his father, ana the father gave 1t IN.
This shows us the advantage Of being news
paper mans little boy. lie would have an
sWered without half trying: Equal parts
servant girl and keroseneoi my n."-Btn0-
hdmf0a Republican.
A CINCINNATI LAWYER recently won
~ GOO, 000 contested will case and turned over
To the defendant over $50, 0O0 % the amount.
The other lawyers did not understand his
Renerost until they learned that he was en-
gagged to marry his clients daughter. II Is
moan lawyer that will cheat his father-in-
w.--Grdphtc.
MISS BEssIE-"Ten me. auntie, am l % or
can remember" Aunte-"Why, Bessie, you
Oughtnt to forget when YOU were born-vou
are s6.' Uncle Joe who is little dea0-
Bessie born in twenty six! Why. Jane, you
are crazy; she wasn't born till fifty; she is
only 35.'-ESch0n0e
Progress says: "A man might even 20 Hsh-
ing on sunday and still be a Christian" Yes,
he might; Int the chances are against 1t. II
he wore to get his hook fsst in a root and lose
half his line, he wouldn't REQUIRE a pint meas
Womb
take home with him. A piOus man should not
20 fishing on Sunday Norristo1c1 Herald.
GROVER" said Mr. Arthur. as the two
Presidents parted after the inauguration.
"Grover, have j"st one bit Of advice TO offer
you. 1t has brought me success, and | want
yoH 10 be successful ." ''Out with it, my dear
Chester, out with itr cried Mr. Cleveland.
''Well, Grover" said Chester imprpesvely,
'alwaya spit on your bait. "-L0iis0ille Con-
TjeT-,I0urndl.
PERHAPS. you have noticed, passing through
That you seldom ind CLAIMS in ''clam chow
DER
The reason is plain-they're never put in,
Or else they are ground up TO powder.
''Why is it2' 7 think hear you lnquiFe,
In a tone that's note or two louder;
They'r afraid that the clam might open his
mouth
And scoop in the sucoulent ohowder.
Boston TrQVeyler.
THE FUNNY MANS LAST RECOURSE
The slice cream" chestnut mas grown cold;
The "ballet -dancar' is too old;
The skating -rinker' haa gone lame:
The ''branless- dude is much too tame;
Our favorito "stOve- pipem 5 ont of date;
''Spring pOets2" No. ips quite too late;
The messenger hoy" is stlli too slow;
The ice mRu's'' price IL now too low;
The "baCk-va cat' s not thOughtof highly;
Thanks, Bayard. thanks! We still have
Kelley. -Pedee.
ode WATERMRLLYUN. -
Oh lie blessed watermellyun sezun
Has arrv
An de only very speshul rezun
Why we liv
Am 10 eat! eat! eat!
An 10 yum! yum yum!
Oh, bless de watermellyun!
Verse the 7aootA.
Oh. de watermeIlyun cometh fur 60 cheer us.
You kin bet
An we kinder like to have him VERY near
DOan fOrQit!
We yum yum! devour
Wild yum yum power
Dat am ba for de blessed watermellyun!
Verse de Three.
Oh! dc richness an de fairness an de juice
Inside him
Makes us banker fur to put our humble selves
Before him!
Au' 10 bust an 20 eat!
An 30 yum woOsh whOopi
Oh! LOr' wher am he!
General chorus accompanied by bones,
iewsharps. mouth organs, and evidence Of in
tense foelng.l
Oh! buy him
On steal him
Oh git him In yoar paws moas' any way yer
KIM
Fur he's richness!
Fur he's goodness!
An TO gobhle on mellyun was neber yit a
sin! - Detroit Free Press.