The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-04
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

moustachc.
The laundrcss' daily soli!oouy-"Aye.
there's the rub. .''-Lo,oeU Citizen.
Some youths shave against the beard,
while others shave down only Water
loo Obssroer.
A bridge should never be condemned
until it has been tried by its piers.-
Boston Courier.
Women are not inventive as rule.
They have no eagerness for new wrinkles
-Nep Orleans Picayune.
A Kansas man has been fined $40 for
smiling in church. Kansas is a prohibi-
tion State this year. Graphic.
Man was born in an Eden. and he
has been needin' creature ever slnce.-
Cincinnati Merchant Irare!e,
A man may be loaded to the eyebrows
with philosophy, and yet become as
helpless as child when he tries to get
the last word with woman.-C Chicago
Lcdger.
The hen may be negligent of her du
ties during the winter weather, but she
generally manages to come up to the
scratch in the time of spring garden
ing.-Sytings.
"Will you pass the butter, Mr.. Fogg?"
asked Brown. "Every time" replied
Fogg. The landlady said it was the way
Fogg said it that made her mad.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
cyclone resembles Western man,
| because it is some on the blow. 1t IS
| like woman, because when it makes up
i its mind to go somewhere all earth can't
| stop it. Chicdq0 Ledger.
"The tendency to do wrong increases
| toward night,," says well known cler-
gyman. think this is very likely to be
true, for when Adam ate the forbidden
| fruit it was near Evc.-BostOn Times
"Papa, what is Wall strcet?" "Wall
street is place where they raise lambs
in the spring. shear them in the fall, and
then turn them loose to hustle for them
selves in the winter. -Eoansoiue Argus.
'sDon't kick man when he's down." folks
| say,
He might make it hot for the kicker some
When up on his feet again.
! -Boston Courier.
''She cried for succor, and | went to
her aid" he said, as he pulled out his
empty pockets. "Yes, and by the looks
of things | should think she found
one" was all the comfort he GOT
Tile Judge.
1t is sententiously remarked that 'the
worldly possessions of men OF supposed
means are usually overestimated." That
philosopher had evidently asked mil
iionnaire for $40 and got nickle.~
Philadelphia CaM ~
eyes" remarked Fogg," "Miss Sim
glcton is nice girl, but somehow she re-
minds me of that field over there where
those COWS are slowly but surely starving
to dcath-little past her age, you know"
Boston transcript.
1T rs HUMAN NATURE
1.-The noet whose fame is as wide as the world
Believes there will ne'er be another,
| and oft in derision his proud lip Is curled
! As he hears of a rising young brother.
The gifted soprano oft vanity shows
When cantatric famous we hnd her,
| And the cornet SoOist turns up his nose
When he passes the organ grinder.
Boston Courier.
ssNcvcr 90 back" advises writer.
'sWhat you attempt do with all your
strength" This may be good advice,
int # wouldn't work satisfactorily.
When a Young man, for instance, at
tempts to court girl he may do 1t
with all his strength, but he goes back,
all the same. He goes back about SIX
NIGHTS a week. .-Norrist0aon Herald.
SONG OF BASEBALL.
You may talk of the places statesmen take
In tho temple of fame sublime,
OF men and women who strive 10 HaAe
A name in prose or rhyme;
But give to me no classic degree,
Be it's honor ever SO high,
The bat I'll swing, and I'll try to bring
The ball that goes whistling by
Some men may follow the greed OF goio
Till their hair grows thin and gray,
Rut worry and fret makes young Diooo DID,
And they frtter their lives away,
Though my face is bruised and am oadly useo
By a hot ball, what of that!
rIl boldly stand with blstered hand,
A catcher behind the bat.
The cycIist may ride his glittring wheel
The skater his rollers don,
And pugiIistic cranks may feel
Great pride in the doughty John;
But give TO me the diamond free,
With its bases, its rush and shout,
Though tooth I've lost do count the cost
When I've caught their best man out.
Boston Globe