davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
Another Geniu. Como.

The Postmaster at IiclSskillet, Ark,
writes "a follows: Don't send your
paper any more to Oscar Hallum, fur he's
dead, He wuz nightly good reader, he
wuz, and would sometimes read one of
your jokes in such n funny way that folks
would laugh. 'Twon't what wuz in the
artikle, but it wuz the way he read it.
+" He ouGlrter been the editor OF paper
like your n. That feller could screw up
his mouth an make a dog laugh. He
could boiler Jest Ike painter, an many
man has tuck to his heels when he heard
Oscar eT yellin' in the woods His dady
allus wanted him to Iarn the shOemakin'
trade. but he had too much ability fur any
sCh fOolishnesg ~ that. Ef ] had er had
his kuaCk | wonder lined = show.
lie couldn't write like q county clerk,
but, what he wrote was thar. He
want he1nlned in b. Webster nor none of
your spelhn book makers. When an idee
popped into his head, and they were ever
lastingly a-PopPin', ne jes slammed her
down an let old Webster Jog along the
best way he could
Il wish he hader lived, fur il grieyed
the old man powerful when he died 'Jist
buryin'. that Oscar shoulder DESTROYED so
much viddults an then died. It's mighty
nigh mora than 1 could bar. / heerd
fellar say some time ago that you was ON
the lookout for n man o. sense, so | thought
I'd tell, you about him, but he's dead
arkansas ITduclcr
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
ALL SORTS

A bachelors haul-The White House.
Can the cOurtship Of two cats be called
wOOing the news
Some dudes drink asses milk. The dude
Is a believer IN homeopathy
% A low voice-an excellent thing IN
woman Also in a counting room.
1t is a valuable niRhtkey that always
strikes the right place the first time.
Miss Belle McKinny was recently ap-
pointed bailin OF the District Court at
Dayton, W. T.
man is never so proud rs when he
sings his baby 10 sleep for the first time
after a severe struggle.
It's hard to lay anything aside for the
future ~ cackled the hen IS the farmer re-
moved her latest effort
1t Is said the Egyptians never get drunk.
Neither would any other nation II there
WAS nothing on tap but sand and water
Chicago man while shoyelinu snow
from his sidewalk fell dead 1t is sup-
posed that he cleared OF three inches on
his neighbours side and the shock killed
him.
Miss Kate Feurbach has recently been
appointed Auditor of HankimR County,
Washington Territory. to ia vacancy
caused by death. She had been deputy in
the Office for two years.
" Yes" said pretty Miss Sno0ks, - she
came home from party At 3 n m. Z" I
was determined 10 be the last to leave. I
hate that horrid Mrs. Bliuks 50 I was re
solved she shouldn't have the pleasure OF
slRndering me- after I'd gone.
Through the telephone. Boarding house
landlady TO grocer" Hello Hello u
Grocer Hello Hello q
Landlady-" send ten pounds OF butter
and charge il. ."
GrocerG"C Can't hear. Wires working
badly y
Landlady- Send ten pounds OF butter
with bill
Dresser VIII ten hounds be enough
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
The Size orNoah,s Ark.

Various people have objected to the size
of the ark; have asserted that it is alb
surd to suppose that ever there could be
n vessel constructed large enough to hold
all the creatures which must have been
placed in it, with sufficient food, it may be
for six or twelve months-water for the
fish, corn for the four-footed animals, seed
for the birds. and SO on. Now we will
take the dimensions of the ark from the
records of Moses, and calculate them on
the lowest possible scale. There are two
definitions given to a cuhit, one that Is IS
inches, or n foot and half and the other
that is 20 inches. We will take il only at
the lowest. Moses states that the ark was
800 cubits long: this would make it $50
feet long, or about the length of st. Pauls
Cathedral, London The breadth he states
to be 30 cubits; we then have it a. in
breadth. He states II to be 80 cubits high;
so that was IS feet high In other words,
IL was as long as st Paul-S Cathedral
nearly as broad, and half as high The
tonnage Of the ark, according to computa-
ton of modern carpenters, must have been
1000 tons. The largest English ship tof
a size altogether unimaginable to those
who have never seen IT. is 3, 500 tons bur
den 30 that the ark must have been
equal to 26 first rate ships Of war, and if
armed as such ships are, it would have
contained beyond 5000 men, and provls-
asserted that all four-footed animals may
be reduced TO $50 pairs, and the birds to a
still smaller number. On calculating,
therefore, we shall find that the ark would
have held more than five times the neces-
Sary number OF creatures, and more than
five times the required quantity OF feed to
maintain them twelve months.-Btifdto
(yOtfrffsr
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
's SHALL II',

Shall do this. sir, and shah do that, airP
Shall go in, sir. shall go outT
Shall II be bonnet. OF shall IL be hat, sir2
state your Opiuion; I'm sadly in doubt
snail ! go riding, OF shall go wHlking7
Shall accept IL. shall I refusel
Shall be silent, or shall keep taIking7
Give your Sdvice, pray / can not well
choose
Thus do we paudrr TO Others opinions
Wearing the garb of SOcety's slaves;
Fashion 5 n grant. and we nre her IniniOns,
RObLinE our life Of the freedom itCHaVes.
Ought | TO visit her. ought 10 cut her?
- h-tH pc friendly OF shall be cold
Shutt,-ty
Shall give silver Or shall give gold
What VIII be said II stay from the dinnerf
- What will be said IL 'm seen at the bally
Will they proclaim me saint. a sinnerf
II not the former. 20 not 1T all
Thus do We paudcr;o others opinions,
n Wearing the garb OF society slaves:
. Fashions d tyrant. and We are her minions,
Z Robbiug our life at the freedom il Graves.
Why not go forward. undsuutcd, unfuariug,
Doing the thing that is lawful sud- right2
Caring not who lnay BE seeing or hearing,
hsAt.- .... .. -... - .. ...
Surely, II conscience forbear to Upbraid us.
. Well may We laugh at tie verdict offools;
God is our guide for His service He made
Not TO be ruled BY the makers of rules.
PandeT no Longer by others opinions;
Wear not the EaTb OF SOCiety'S slaves;
Be not OF Fashion the pitiful minions;
Rob not your life Of the freedom it Graves
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10

The White House covers about one
third o. an acre and its cost up TO the pre-
sent time. about s2.OOoOoO. u Is modelled
after castle IN Dublin and the architect
who was = south Carolina man named
HObau, got 500 for drawing the plans
When Il was fret built, away back in the
nineties IL cost 800. .O0O. but the British
burned ont It's insides. and It's cost has
since added 20 that sum about 81 100 600.
In II all Of the Presidents since Washing
ton have lived, anC each has added 70 It's
beauties and its expenses. ] think 10 was
John Quincy Adams who bought the first
billiard table which wss used in h. But
in John Adams's time 10 was only half
furnished, and Abigail Adams used 70 dry
her clothes in the big east room Year by
year, however. the furnishing has gone on
until now Il Is a sort Of 4 museum OF art
and beauty Washington Letter Ca ClcUe-
lnnd Irnnfr
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10

The winter of 1s4s had been intensely
cold, and the ice formed on Lake Erie was
very thick This was loosened around the
shore by the warm days Of early spring.
During the day stiff easterly wind moved
the whole field Of the lake. About sun
down the wind chopped suddenly around
and blew a gale from the west. This
brought the vast track of ice down again
with such tremendous force that ii filed
the neck of the lake and the outlet, so that
the outflow of the water was very greatly
impeded. OF coure il only needed a very
short space of time for the Falls to drain
off the water below Black Rock. The
consequence was that when we arose in
the morning at Niagara, we found that
our river was nearly half gone. The
American Channel had dwindled TO a re-
spectacle creek. The British channel
looked as If it had been smitten with
quick consumption and was fast passing
sway Far up from the head of Goat
Island, out in the Canadian Rapids the
water was gone, as il was also from the
Lower and Goat Island, out beyond the
tower. The rocks were bare, black and
forbidding The roar Of Niagara almost
to moan. The scene was desolate, and
but for its novelty and certainty that it
would change before many hours, would
have been gloomy and saddening. Every
person who has visited Niagara Will re
member beautiful jet OF water which
shoots out about forty rods south OF. outer
Sister in the great rapids, called with
singular contradiction of terms, the
"Leapfng Rock The writer drove a
buggy from near the head of Goat Island
out TO point above and near to that jet.
With q dog cart and four horses he had
drawn from the outside of the outer island
a stick Of pine timber hewed twelve inches
square, and forty feet long. From the Top
of middle island was drawn still larger
stick, hewed on one side, and sixty feet
long. There are few places on the globe
where s. person would be less likely 20 go
numbering than in the rapids of Niagara,
Just above the brink of the Horse shoe
Fall. All the people OF the neighborhood
were abroad exploring recesses and cavi-
ties that had never before been exposed 70
mortal eyes. The writer went some dis
tance up the shore Of the river. Large
fields at the muddy bottom lay bare. The
singular syncope of the waters lasted all
the day, and night closed over the strange
scene. But in the morning our river was
restored in all its strength, beauty and
majesty, and we were glad to welcome
its swelling tide once more. - HoIcJS
Niagara.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
He Was Tired.

Last week the tired editor, after labor
ing hard in the vineyard, concluded that
he would so out among the brethren.
While down in the Dry Fork neighbor-
hood we preached at Ebenezer and accomp-
anied Brother Sam Hayfoot home to din
ner. There were several of the brethren
present, and among them we were pleased
to notice old Brother Shopwen. He is an
old servant of the Lord, and, had the
smallpox kept out of his way, we think
that his countenauce would have escaped
a great wrong. Old Sister Hayfoot, kind
reader, knows how to get up a good din
ner She has our idea of cooking cabbage,
for, like US, she thinks that they should
be boiled until all of their brittleness
melts into the everlasting pot.
After having served the inner man we
again assembled in the sitting-room,
where Sister Stoveall favored US with
hymn and Is cents, forwhich she wanted
six months subscription. One dollar
would have struck us with a little more
warmth, but in these days OF sin and hard
times half loaf is much better than
Boston cracker. Brother Smlthfield,
good old soul as ever lived, declares that
he will take the paper when he sells his
red steer. Gentle reader, do you know OF
any one who wants to buy steer p
AThUpSdS UCCh}V
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
Eat NJ NIght.

"Go home and eat a good supper that's
all the medicine you want" and the med
ical gentleman to whom newspaper re-
porter had gone for a nervous, or sedative
OF sleeping potion, opened the door TO
show him out. "But, doctor, it Is II
o'clock at night "Well, what Of it, Oh,
see, the popular prejudice against eating
at night. Let me tell you my young
friend. that unless your stomach is out of
order, it is moro benefit to you TO cat be-
fore going TO bed than it is harmful. Food
of simple kind induces sleep. At what
hour did you dine ," Six o'clock"
Humph just what I thought. Four
teen hours between dinner and breakfast
that time the fuel necessary to send the
blood COursing through your system is
burned out Animals sleep instinCtively
after meals. Human beings become
drowsy after eating Why' Simply be
cause the juices needed in digestion aro
supplied by the blood being oliCited to-
wards the stomach. Thus the brain re-
ceircs less blood than during the hours Of
fasting, and becominGPRlert the powers be
come dormant Inyalids and those IN
delicate health should always cat before
going to bed. The sinking sensation in
sleeplessness is n call for food. Wakcful-
ness is Oftentimes merely a symptom of
hunger Crafty the desire md sleep en-
sues. The feeble will be stronger IL they
eat on going to bed. Some persons are eX-
hausted merely by the process OF making
their toilet IN the morning. A cup Of
warm milk and toast on retiring, or OF
beef tea on awakening, will correct il"
q But is il not essential that the stomach
should rest - d" ndObubtcdly Yet
when hungry we should eGt. Does tho
infants stomach rest 9S long Rs the
adults ? Man eats less often only because
his food requires more time fog digestion.
Invalids and children 1T ight may take
slowly rnffE fffs@f or
The vigorous adult can eat broad, milk,
cold beef chicken, raw oysters, or some
other such food. fcoUrse il m,:st be dOnein
moderation. ToS start home now and
take q cup Of tea and n beef sandwich ON
the way and IN risk your sleeping. Good
night MnsIchCStcr Iincs.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
MISCELLANY

There are about .aOo daily and 10000
weekly papers published in the United
States.
Georgia has tho greatest area ~ any
state East 81 the MissiSsp ppi River.
ILLINOIS spent s1nsl.oio for chsrity last
year.
spiders are said TO eat t7vcuty six times
their own weight "a, h day
The most delicate watch wheels are now
nlade of paper pulp in Germany.
4 Rockingham. y c. gentleman has A
pair ~ cll-~ thai he drives to \ buggy
Three lepcrs werc recently captured
within one week by the Coroner OF san
Francisco.
An American church costing $3.50 900 has
Just been coHseCratrd in Dresden. Ger
many
Mail bags from Cincinnati vvere recently
delivered IN Berlin ia the short space Of
eleven days
A Sycamore. III. man claims slooooo
and eighty-nye years interest ON it under
the French spoiation law.
An eutcrprisiug thief at Vernon. III
stole = large stack of hay from q neigh
Dor, carrying II ori IN small hia,is on his
sled,
The schools OF Venezuela are snpnortrd
By the Federal Government from the rev
enues OF the Post Office and "A trade Is
couse system
According to conservative estimates
United States, which annually yield lsl.-
O00Ou pounds Of honey
Mary is tho most common Of all names
in England. there being 6.Sl9 ont Of every
50.O0O individuals answering TO IL vii
liam comes next with %. SD
A Batavia, III jewcler missed a fne
gold watch from his showcase and discov-
cred II N the possession OF a young lady
on whom he was calling. Her lover had
stolen il and presented IL 10 her
A queer old man. who formerly lived in
Northern Illinois and was hooked upon as
a crank, hiss received n large sum OF
ufacturer for q valuable discovery in
prOjecties.
Recently At LincOlntown. Ca the post
age stamp on. the envelope OF an appa-
rently innocent epistle Was accidentally
removed. and under ID was discovered q
warmly affectiOnate message written IN
very small characters.
Russia has II .23l doctors and maintains
universities at kaZan, kiel. .Charkow Mos
COW, Warsaw, HelsinRfOrs, and DurpBt
The professional men flock TO the ci-ies
In the cnnntry thousands of people die for
want OF medical and surgical attention.
a copy Of the Thanksgiving proclams-
ton issued in 1863 hy Governor Thomas
Fitch. Of New London, and a carved oak
chair which belonged TO Governor Robert
Treat, who died In 1890, have recently
been placed in the rooms OF the Historical
Society at New Haven. Conn
The United States has l. 900 dentists
who use e ton of gold and five tons of
teeth annually Only one American in
eighty is found TO have perfect teeth. and
one third OF the population make mors OF
lssS use OF the artificial product
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
NUMBER IL.
ToGETHER.

The wintor wind is wsil5ug sad and low
Across the lake and through the rustlinz
sedRe;
The spieii5or OF the golden arter-xIov
CLEANS through tho hlsckn~~s OF the great
yew hedge;
And this rcSd on earth ard in thr sky
= We ought TO be together. y0n ami T."
R1pt through its rosy changes snto darE.
Fsdes al rhe vest 1fii through tils shadovy
trees. .... .... .....
And in tho silont uplnnds ~ thc park
Creeps tho scrtors Ching of Tire -isinE breeze;
1t does but echo 10 my weary sikh.
- We ought 70 be together. ynu and L.
Ny hand Is lonely Tor your cis.iii'rV. dear.
My ear Is tired. waiting rur your call.
want your strength to help. your laugh 70
choer.
Heart. soul. and senses need you. ono and all
I droop without your full frank sympathy
We ought 70 be together, yo1 and l.
We want each othor. 50 10 co1uP-cl.ead
Tho dream, tho hope. things fl1uued, or
seen, or wrought:
Companion. comforter, and guide and friend
A much rs love asks love, docs thought need
thought.
Life is 50 short 80 fast the lono hours hy-
We ought 70 be together, you and ].
Every Other Saturday
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
Chemistry OF the nay.

= Young gentlemen" " sad tire lecturer
in chemistry, coal exposed 70 the ele-
ments loses 10 per cent OF its weight and
heating power. This is due to the action
OF alkah constituents Of"
q But what il there is a dog sleeping near
the coal, Professor -
"None OF your levity, yOung man. This
Is a serious matter"
That's what dad thought when - per
cent. of mis- coal pile disappeared during
three nights Of exposure Then he asked
my advice as student i'm chemistry and
/ told him TO buy dog. lie bought n dog.
with bay window teeth and the string
halt in his upper lip, and now we don I
lose 1 per cent. OF our coal a month.
That's the kind of practical chemist !
am. Now go Ou with your theory "
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
High Art at the CAPITOL

Up in the dome of the Capitol, painted
by old Brumidi, is the group OF Stonewall
jackson, Calhoun, Robert f. Lee and
somebody else, which the Italian cunning
" disguised under the symbol of war, and
put them all with famine haunted eyes
and visages like Dante's enemies in hell.
There they are in fire-burnt colors on
concave surface, and the artist lay down
with a big white washbrush, Like Dante,
he also told his own sad tale, and put in
both his wives, to one of whom he was not
always kind, and the last was wild. Free
dom stands over the dome, sailing among
the clouds and leaning on her shield, and
the nondescript plumes in her hair were
the suggestion of Jefferson Davis to the
sculptor Washington Letter D CtBcip-
natl ERguiTCr
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
EBENSBURG. PA. FRIDAY. APRIL 10. 1885

force 10 sucn sln extent InaJ reaction WIS
impossible without further prostration
and a complete cessation OF Irritating
causes. Here are your corsets, How much
do they measure, please2'
Nineteen inches, auntie'-the young
lady was almost ready to cry now" and
they are whole inch larger than most
girls of my size wear"
What is your sizey Here is a tape-mea-
sure, and win 500. tell you. You have
lost considerable Hes and | shall have to
allow for shrinkage Twenty-fouT inches
just as you are, Blanche. Think Of 1t a
twenty four inch waist squeezed into nine
teSn-uch cofSets Ne will now clear the
heart and lungs from The charge OF ma
laria. Your irregular pulse, the cutting
pain in your side, Jour uneven and most
Inadequate respiration, can be traced
directly to tight lscinR. Now have this
to say, my child ] shall not permit you
TO wear one of these articles as long as you
are under my care II YOU will accept u
pair OF nay quilted sliuDers- and allow me
to wrap you in blankets till you have some
clothes suitable for q cOnvalescent to wear,
all right II not. you must find Some one
else to take care of you My time is alto
gether too precious to throw away
This may seem very cruel Blanche but
] really think it would be far better for
you to die now than to be nursed back to
the old shameful conditions. There IS
nothing before you but a life Of ipvalidism
il you decide to go on rs you have begun"
= But how can | wear horrid old shoes
and old scratchy f1annels, and have a
waist like a washerwoman's ," the girl
inquired, between laughing and crying
You havnt said anything about GO
loshes and leggings yet, but perhaps you'd
like to have me wear those ~
"Shall / get the blankets and my
quilted slippers, Blanche'" Aunt Mary
inquired.
"Yes; bring the gun boats and the fan
nels,'f her companion replied. " And il
you can find r few hens feathers to stick
in my hair, the resem blance to a Sioux
squaw will be more striking"
After this Miss Blanche had some les
sons in philosophy and hygiene and very
interesting and profitable topics they
proved to be. She learned the reasons of
things, and had sense enough to accept
and utilize them.-EJedpOr KIRK,
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10

took a large spider from his web uDde1
the basement OF mill put him on chip
and set him afoat on the quiet waters q
a pond. He walked about the sides Of hin
bark, surveying the situation very care
fully, and when the fact that he was
really afloat and about yard from shore
seemed TO be fully comprehended, he
looked out for the nearest land. This
point fairly settled upon, he Immediately
began to cast q web for it. He threw it
as far as possible in the air. and with the
wind, il soon reached the shore and made
fast to the spires OF grass. Then he turned
himself about. and in true sailor fashion
began 10 haul in hand over hand on his
cable. Carefully he drew upon IL until his
bark began to move toward the shore
As IL moved the faster he the faster drew
upon TO keep his hawser taut and from
touching the water. Y cry soon he resched
the shore, and quickly teHping 70 terra
frma, he sped his way h0mewRrd. .--lf0S-
peT's Young People.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
BUSINESS IN TRADE DOLLARS.
SpeeuIators Who Looked TO Congress
90 Redeem them Throwing
then1 on tho Market.

The business in trade dollars on Wall
street has agsin blo7somed forth and is
now as active as ever. The failure of
Congress- to redeem them nj their par
value has compelled the capitalists and
Spectators and the many private ind1-
vfduals who had bought them up IN large
quantities to get them of their hands.
There arc in circulation at present about
81, ,000, 900 of these dollars. Fifteen mil
lions were coined from 1873 to 1876 when
they were legal tenders. The rest have
been coined since that time. 1t is COM
puted that China has in circulation about
%, ,OO0, 900 Of these trade dollars and that
the American bankers and capitalists hold
the remaining IL. .OOO, 600, Europe having
but q small amount.
Most OF the dollars are now being sent
to China. The brokers buy them here ct
about eighty five spd then ship them by
way of liverpool. The profit made is
very small being about quarter of a
cent on each dollar One broker in
the city has closed negotiations for ! o.
0C0 OF them, which viii be shipped this
week In these shipments the risks are
all taken by the brokers in Liverpool
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
Rhubarh sauce.

Stewed rhubard has always been a
fayorite sauce with Us. in the spring, but
have found a d. way of cooking it. Peel
the rhubarh. cut it into half-inch lengths
and pour boiling water over 1t; let IL
stand about ten minutes, then drain In
colaudeI and put il into an cart hen lar
with sugar between each layer oT rhubath
Do not add any water hut cover tightly
and place the jar in moderately hot
oven let il C0uk until \ broom rplint
will easily pierce the pieces Each piece
will retain its shape, and when cold the
juice Will he almost 4 Jelly Aunt
JcTuS}ttr
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1885-04-10
How They Rrase UP.

One young lady who is in the swim of
Washington gay society announces that
she has braced herself up to get through
the winter on an average of eighteen cups
of tea daily. Another one doses with
quinine to carry her through dinner and
ball. Others rely on strong coffee. beef tea
with brandy in it, and the massage treat
ment Altogether it seems like the groom
ing of a stud of rare race horses, and un-
worthy of human beings, who il is to be
supposed are endowed with fair share OF
lar-u