Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-02-05
MIKES SIGNS.
How an Intelligent Irishman Posed a
Professor.

Professor.
The writer heard the following story
a few evenings since. To him it was
very amusing, as well as a good illus
tration of the aptness of different minds
to misconstrue the same facts in quite
opposite directions.
Some time ago a learned Frenchman
became very enthusiastic on the subject
of universal language for the human
race. After much thought and theo-
rizing on the subject he came to the
conclusion that the only language that
could be universal at the present day
must be language of signs. Being
deeply impressed with the Importance
OF this language to humanity, he deter
mined to travel from country to country
and teach it in all their colleges and
universities.
AS it happened, the first country he
reached in his travels was Ireland, and
the first institution he went to was the
University at Dublin.
He called upon the President of the
University, and after some converse
ton with him asked him if he had
professor of signs in his University.
Now there was no professor of signs in
the University, but the President, not
wishing to be behind the learned
Frenchman, told him that they had one.
The President was asked to be intro
duced to him. The President taken
aback at this, but told him that he
could not see the Professor that day,
but if he would call the next day at the
same hour he would introduce him.
After the Frenchman had gone the
President called his professors together
and told them the fix he was in, and
told them that one of them must play
the part of professor of signs next day.
They all demurred and objected to this,
being afraid that they might be caught
by the Frenchman.
As none of them were willing to play
the part, they at last decided to train
Mike, the choreman, for it. Mike had
lost an eye, and was very sensitive
about it, thinking that people were
constantly noticing it and making allu-
sions to it.
Mike was consulted, and consented
to play the part, providing that the
Frenchman should not refer to his de-
feet.
The next day the President and pro-
fessors dressed Mike up in a good suit
of clothes, took him to a recitation
room, seated him alone on the plat
form, and then retired, for the French
man was to see him alone. Before
they left him they told him what to do,
and that he must not speak.
He replied: Sure I'll not, if he SEE
nothin' about me oye.
At the appointed time the Frenchman
called, and was ushered into the "reci-
- Of
The President and professors waited in
an adjoining room anxiously for the re-
suit. In short time the Frenchman
came back to them, apparently much
pleased.
sHow did you like our Professor of
Signs?'' inquired the President.
Every much indeed. l congratulate
YOU on your able Professor. l am more
than ever convinced that the language
of signs is to be the universal language.
When went into the room l held up
one finger, meaning there is one God.
He understood me at once, and held up
two fingers, meaning Father and Son.
/ then held up three fingers, meaning
there are three persons in the Trinity.
He replied by doubling up his hand,
meaning: And these three are one. /
then withdrew. 1t is wonderful. I am
delighted. )"
After the Frenchman had gone, the
President and professors sent in haste
for Mike, for though they were
pleased at having gotten out of the
dilemma, they were very anxious to
hear Mikes account of the inter
view. Mike came in, very angry. Il
tould yez he would say something
about me oye. The first thing he did
was till hould up wan finger. MANN
l had but wan eye.
What did you do then, Mixer
asked the President
Sure l held up me two fingers, till
let him know had two fists; an phat
does the durty BLACKBOARD do but
hould up three fingers, M amin we had
but three Dyes betwane us. Thin I
doubled up me fist, and would a guy
the frog attn varmint welt over his
owe. but he COMMUNIST a-smilin' an a.
bowin' an a-scrapin', an whit out iv
the room. ''-Hdyper's Magazine.