The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-12-25
ODD POINTS ABOUT CHINA.
WHY A FoRNER NEW YORKER RE-
TURNED TO SHANGHAI.
Everything in This Country seemed
subnndy to Eaim->ome queer
Contrasts in Everyday Matters.

subnndy to EHim-SOntc queer
Contrasts i'm Everyday Matters.
After an absence of twenty five years
in China, George Dean, native OF the
Ninth ward in this city, returned to New
York recently with the intention of re-
naming here. His mother, three sisters
and brother live in the same house they
occupied when he went away lie had
been here only two days when he began
to be homesick for China. lie thought
that time would conquer the feeling, but
it became stronger everyday, and after
staying two weeks he babe his mother
and sisters farewell, and sailed for Liver
pool on his way back to the Strange
country lie had learned to love better
than his native land.
II miss so many things, and every
thing comes so unhandy to me here he
said. "For instance, everybody drinks
cold water here, and laughs at me when
| want to do as they do in China and
take my water warm. In China it is i'm
polite to take your hat OH on entering a
house, and here have forgotten myself
a dozen times, and been stared at and
frowned at by ever SO many because |
observed the Chinese etiquette and kept
my hat on my head on going into peo-
pies houses. | find myself ordering my
desert first at dinner as and all China
men do at homc-I mean in shanghai
and my embarrassment has been great
Polite natives of China always drink
their tea from their saucers, which are
placed on top Of the cups. | forgot nv
self more than once and did the same
with an effect on others that made me
very uncomfortable. On going out
invariably have taken my fan, and a
fan like mine couldn't be purchased in
New York for the price of town lot.
| couldn't think of going anywhere
without it. But it has brought me only
ridlcule wherever Invent. | find that my
visiting cards, made after the best Chinese
fashion, each one printed on yard
of the finest silk paper imaginable, are
simply useless here, and if used would
create strong suspicion that | was in-
sane. In China my bed and everybod
cse's bed is formed of mating, while
here the mating is laid on my bedroom
floor for me to walk on, When l 90 to
bed here my head sinks down deep into
the pillow, and l splitter and tumble
about all night and can't s'ecp. At
home-in China, l mean-I rest on pill
low as hard as wood, and sleep like a
top.
The other day my nephew young
man whom | Ike very much, asked me
what thought would be nice thing
for him to buy as present for his father
at Christmas. | answered at once:
"'The very best coffin you can afford. ;
'Why-do YOU believe me he was
insulted, and my dear old mother was
vastly shocked. 1t all came from my
being thoroughly Chinese. 1t is quite
the proper thing in China for son to
buy coffin for his living father. In
fact, it is expected that he will do so if
he is possessed of sufficient fiial regard.
| told my friends so. but that shocked
them still more, and | was miserable
again. There is no use. | never could
get along here at all. l shall die if
don't get back home-to China, | mean.
eyes, everything seems to be done in
China exactly opposite to the way in
which it is done here. Here | am Mr..
Dean. In China | am Dean Mr.. They
don't use any soap to shave with in
China, but simply to rub the part to be
shaved with warm water, pnt on with
shaved is never the face, but the top of
the head. The front of Chinese book
is the last page, and the reader begins at
the right hand corner of the page and
reads down. The foot notes are always
At the top. The title of the book is
printed on the outside margin of the
page. If you should ever enter school
room in China you would surely think
The scholars were engaged in mobbiDg
the teacher, for they study their lessons
as loud as their lungs will let them.
When they rccite they back up to the
teacher and stand with their faces to the
other screaming pupils, instead of the
teachers, while they yell their recitations
ell together
Gin China the needle on the compass
always points to the south. At any rate,
the Chinaman believes it does. There
in no northwest or southeast. In their
place we have Westnorth and eastsouth.
| see that you have in New y ork artists
who live by trimming finger nails. They
would be run out of China. for person
who hasn't finger nails four inches long
there isn't much in society.
"They never have any breach of promise
cases over in China. a future Chinese
belle isn't three DAYS old before her
parents have betrothcd her to some &C
ceptable scion of neighbor's house.
When she IS old enough-and she doesn't
have to be very old, for if she were in
this country she would be playing with
her doll yet-she goes to the house of
her alliancei and marries him. She
weeps and walls all the way there, as if
her idea of matrimony wasn't exactly a
cheerful one. There is always mourning
at a Chinese marriage while at funeral
the bands play and there is feasting and
rejoicing. And there, l think, the
Chinese idea is the correct one. When
a person marries his troubles begin. Why
should he rejoice? When he dies his
troubles are over. Why should any one
mourn! | must get back to China.
"A true-born, patriotic Chinaman will
turn with loathing from glass of fresh
milk, while he will lift cup OF castor
oil to his lips and drain it with a gusto.
The oiswon't make him bilious. The
milk will. told you it was the proper