Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-07-18

AcucumOef grew by the garden wall;
Grew round and yellow.
little boy saw it that is all,
Poor little fellow.
"Can you tell the difference between
an egg and cabbage?" asked young MI
Badger. II can," responded Mr.. Ranter
II have been on the stage ten years.
Puck.
A druggist at Quincy, ILL.,, advertised
kaufdrops to those suffering from colds
Abraham Kauf, a citizen Of the town
called on the druggist, and put out hii
left eye as reward for being funny.
Mr.. Smiley: "Better let me carry the
baby" Mrs. Smiley: "No, no; you car.
ny the baby; l cannot trust you with
Gyp; you might drop him."
"A curious negro superstition is that a
man who ha1 been struck by lightning
can not SWIM" says an exchange. We
heve noticed the same thing, too, about
negroes who have died from yellow
fever.-PucE.
Moody, the revivalist, was asked in
the recent convention in Milwaukee
whether he had grace enough to die at
the stake. He replied: mo, I don't
need it; all want is grace enough to
hold this convention for three days in
Milwaukee"
Young Featherly Ito hostess You
have children, have you not, Mrs. B. ?
Mrs. Bob yes; Rave boy of years
old and little girl of 5. Young Feather
ly (astonished)EI declare, how time
flies! 1t don't seem possible that you
have been married twelve years.
The cashier of the East Saginaw saw
ings bank, who recently skipped to
Canada with $3.50, 900, has just sent back
a check for So 600, to be us ed in enlarg.
ing the almshouse at that own. He
says that no one shall accuse m of not
feeling for the poor depositors.
"John, did you 90 around and ask how
old Mrs. Jones was this morning. as I
told W to do last night?" eyes sir"
"Well, What was the result ?" "She said
that seeing as how you had the impu-
dence to ask how old she was, she'd no
objection to telling you she was a."
mo. Henry, have no objection to
your going to the lodge, but don't you
think the cruelty to animals society
would object to feeding that poor goat
on whisky and tobacco?" Henry bushes
like girl as he says that he will men,
ton the matter to the most worshipful,
puissant regent upon the first convenient
opportunity.
Smith: "What is Brown doing now
on the Hennf" Jones ian editor): every.
thing, from writing poetry to soliciting
advertisements. Smith: "You mean
from soliciting up to writing poetry.
don't your" Jones: odd you ever read
any Of Browns poetry" Smith: "No."
Jones (conscientiously): II thought
not"
"Oh, say map exclaimed bright lit
let girl at q hotel while at dinner, "hasn't
that man over there got awful big ears?''
Hush, child; the gentleman might hear
you," cautioned the mother. "Well ms, !"
returned the precocious youngster, IF
he couldn't hear me with those ears he
ought to haul them down."
"They are making . door with five
said Mrs. Anger. whats
the use of having 80 many?" asked Mr..
Augur. at will be much easier to un-
lock. You can find it more easily when
You come home late," replied the kind
lady. Rubbish p responded Mr.. Augur.
"Idiocy! When I come home late one
key hole Is about all care to find.
Puck.
Mr.. Tompkins Ito Manager Snapshow
who has just returned from Europe):
Did you have q pleasant trip?" Snap
show: "Oh, yes; but was very home
sick until reached Rome. felt all
right there" "How was that?" Snap
show: "Whv, spent TWO days in the
and the collection of dead
heads there made me feel q though /
was ct home again."