The Sunday tatler and Jersey City express. (Jersey City, N.J.) 1883-1886, 1885-12-20

gREsTEUTa.

man OF many parts--the b4rber-Hartford Sun
day Journal
Horizontal reduction is frequently discussed at
skating rinks.-Burlinoton Free Press.
The man who went to the country for rest and
change says the walters got most Of bis change and
the landlord the rest.
Society actresses kiss and make up" because
kissing after the make up spoils good society
complexion.-Neao Orleans Pcdyune.
There is home for lost dogs in London. In this
country the nearest we come to such an institution
is the sausage mAchine-B Burlington Free Press.
TAa Arab horsa il ret bratea until its fOurth
then Arab horses are not washed by the average
kitchen girl.-lBdl inaore Labor Press.
Lawyer-''How far is the tavern from your home?
How long would it take you to walk the distance 2"
Witness-'Oh, that would depend upon whether I
vac going there qr coming hone. zFelsck JOE,
i'Who made you7p small girl was asked
"God made me that length indicating with her
hand the length of new born infant and
growed the rest myself" repeated the infant her
etc.
Sympathetic widow Ito recently bereaved widowl
out your hgsbahd's 3t6ur1faI reiict: s Yes dear;
but hayc one consolation, know whore he is
nights
Teacher of class in grammar-what is the plu-
raj of man? Johnnie-Men. Teacher-What is
the plural of woman ? Jack-Women. Teacher
What is the plural Of child? Susie-Twins.-Bos
ton Beacon
well. my little man" said the Bishop to Bobby.
BaSy SSpe h e. x Ss s we're sR Ssa
before, Pa thinks it can't cost you much for hotel
bills 10 Chicago Times
II beg your pardon. but aren't you mistaken p
eoulteousy said gentleman to pretty shop girl,
with whom he was dealig. II am miss. but moi
yet taken. sir" she replied. with blush, and
dropping eyes.-BinghdntoH R.pubacan.
l'Yhat are roy reading SO intantly.F asked one
aeaS: broke of an9tlier ;.Tsmperahes paper; don't
h9hsr @e fer the place, What place
! want to find out where 1t ID. '-7he Judge.
There is palpable difference between men and
angels. II Adam had slipped on banana peel his
fall would have kept posterity on broad grin But
the angels would have wept and bountifully sup
piled him with arnica and court plaster.-ChicGgo
ffsL'ss.'fII3fi
Grocer tn great hastei Nell. little girl, what can
do for youY Be quick, now; I'm very busy.
Little girl frightened please sir, me m mudder
sent me flor p-pound O. cheese, bbut if you are
very busy you can give me only h-half p-pound
-Nei0 Fork Times
"Qh.ii gaspsq fat AtFs. Wsiglty. IS she aseended
the9esond hightof stairs III her new residence, Il
really cann6S run up ANY niore STAIRS siOf course
not testify answered her husband sbut If the
stsirS we're made Of dressmakers bills you could
ruin fheia up very paailsH =
'What kind of voice do you call that behind
us ," asked lady whose ears had been deafened
" tuc ," SCI AAucAC VI Dr. JOuu CuufcQ CQO1r by
the blatant monotone of male singer in the con-
gregation. Il should call it bare-o'tone," was
the uietreply Of her escort
While NeaHa was playing Richard III, in Little
ROCK. just as be CALLED f5f al horse Ia man from
Warrington County said to his companion; Come
ap, Ab. an les g'. wait mihit Sam. The
clown has called fur horse an reckon the show
Is goin' to begin. '-Arkansalp Traveller.
Jean Ingelow, in one Of her charming stories
tells MS that an owls call is but two notes Of music
tied together wi moan. Wonder what sscon-
slant reader or 'close observer" would say Of a
cats meow-that it is series of notes not easily
severed with Itsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
AgaosllszaNoE e q, tel ne. AasF: Why ysq broke
found he was too fond OF drawing and painting "
Arabella-" Why, think that would just suit you,
with y0HF artistie tastes, JuliazifBqt his taste
ran I'd arawina checks and pal ting the town red
| -Hasper's Basar.
1t Is said that Longfellow and Fields were max.
| ing short pedestrian tour some years ago. when
to their SURPRISE an angry bull stood in the path
| evidently determined 10 demolish both poet and
Publisher. Il think" said Fields, .'that it would
| DO prudent to give this reviewer wide margin
| ESs. gsRfieq The pgal. at sppsars 70 ba dis
patsd passage. - lEasE