The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1885-08-21
Sleeping in Church.

Sleeping in Church.
STRANGE MEANS OF COMMANDING ATrEN.
Preac hers have frequently resorted
TO cold and outlandish modes of draw
ing attention to themselves or their
doctrine, says the Albany Press, either
by the performance of some mounte-
bank trick in the gown, or by some ut
terance or tale that was all awry. The
Rev. Daniel Burgess, observing but a
small congregation assembled one day,
roared out, as he entered the pulpit (:
"Fire! Fire Fire !" The astonished
and frightened congregation instantly
exclaimed: "Where Where Where7''
"In hell, hell, hell!" roared the preach
er, "to burn such wretches as regard
not the tidings of the gospel" In
Charles II. g time there lived q certain
Nine. Creswell, whose character was
notoriously bad. She was at last i'm
prisoned in Bridewell, and as her death
approached she desired to have a ser.
mon preached at her funeral, and left
by her will $3.50 for that purpose, only
the preacher was to say nothing
except what was well of her. The
preacher gave a sermon on mutal,ility
and concluded: "By the will of the de.
ceased it is expected that l should men
tion her and say nothing except what
is well of her. All that have to say
of her, therefore, is this: She was born
well, she lived we'll and she died well
for she was born with the name Of
Creswell, she lived in Clerkenwell, and
she died in Bridewell." Some preach
ers lave given illustrations in their pull
pits which have savored of acting.
The Rev. Billy Dawson was preaching
about David's encounter with Goliath
and, after dramatically describing the
challenge of the Phillistine and the de.
fance of David, he took out a poke,
handkerchief and made a sling of it
put in an imaginary stone and flung ii
with such imaginary force in reality
that Sammy Hicks, the village black
smith, lost all control over his feelings
and shouted: "That's right, Billy; now
hoff with his 'ead!' A clergyman in
Norwich, Conn, seeing many Of his par
ishioners asleep, paused awhile, and
then said II come now to the third
head of my discourse, to which l ask
the serious and candid attention of al
who are not asleep
DR.. South, when once preaching be
fore Charles H., observed that the mon
arch and his attendant began to nod
and as his mobiles are common mer
when they are asleep, some of then
soon after snored, on which he broke
off his sermon and exclaimed. "Lort
Lauderdale, I am sorry to interrupt
your repose, but let me entreat you nO
to snore so loud, lest you awaken hi,
majesty" 1t was no easy thing in ear
ly times to keep congregations awake
and that others beside the preacher,
themselves made efforts praiseworthy
enough in this direction is evidenced
by the fact that on the 18th of April
1925, John Rudge bequeathed to th'
parish of Tyrsull, in Shropshire, TWEEN
ty shillings year that a poor maj
might be employed to go about during
sermon and keep the people awake. 4
bequest by Richard Dovey, of Farm
cote, dated 1859, had in view, the pay
ment of eight shillings to a poor MAJ
for the performance Of the same dut,
in Cloverly Church, Shropshire. A
Acton Church, in Cheshire, about fift,
years ago. one of the church warden
or apparitor used to 60 around tb
church during the service with a Ion!
wand in his hand, and if any of tn
congregation were asleep they were in
stantly awakened by tap on the heaG
At Dunchurch, in Warwickshlre,
similar custom existed. A person beal
ing stout wand, like hayfork at tn
end, stepped stealthily up and dow
the nave and aisles, and whenever b
saw an individual asleep he touche
him 80 effectually that the spell wa
broken; this being sometimes done b
fitting the prongs of the fork to th
nape of the neck. A more playf,
method of arousing sleeping sinner
from the arms of Morpheus was use
in another church, where the b"adl
went round the editice carrying Ion
staff, at one end of which was knoll
at the other a foxs tail. The latte
was used to tickle the faces of the lad
sleepers, the former to thump the head
of the somnolent men. The day fc
personalities in the pulpit has long ag
gone by.
Some years since the Rev. DR.. Bel
don was rector of the parish church i
Eltnam, Kent. Ore day he took fc
his text, "Who Art Thou7" Aftt
having read this he paused, as was hi
custom, to give the audience time I
think upon his words. just then
military officer entered, and walkin
down the aisle, supposed the questio
was addressed to him.
81 am, sir, Sergeant McDuhie, of til
Sixteenth Regiment of Foot, and +,
cruiting officer here" replied the MAJ
giving the salute. The congregation
of course, roared, and the clergyma
had trouble in collecting his thoughts
| A Scotch preacher saw his vii
asleep in the kirk, and he immediatel
stopped in the midst of the sermo
and shouted;
"Susan! Susan! I did ma marry J
for yer wealth, since ye had none; an
! did ma marry ye for yer beauty-th'
all the congregation can see; and
yer hae not grace ! hae made a Sci
bargain wi YER
She slept no more.
Not few of the vagaries of Il
pulpit have been directed against slee
ing sinners. Robert Halls audienc,
were composed of those asleep an
those going to sleep, despite the ia
that his sermons were the most brillial
of the age. Sidney Smith said that som
sermons are written as if sin were
be taken out of man, like Eve out
Adam, by putting him to sleep. d
Barrow once preached so long and
dull sermon that everybody left h
church but the sexton and himseI
|, | E;noll,, tho oaxton oaainn M ,N,oa,o