The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1885-04-02
PUNGENI' PARAGRAPHS.

Tie roller-skating rink is GOOD place
to study fall" fashions. Boston Bullc-
tin.
He was level-headed doctor who
hired house next door to q roller-skat-
ing rink.-Boston Courier.
A poetess sings, IT have found whae
silence u.s." Her friends, it is under
stood, are not so fortunate. te.-Boston
Transcript.
The rain falls not alike on the just and
unjust, for the simple reason that the
unjust usually has the umbrella belong
ing to the just.-Puck. .
Every person has a role in life, ana
some people seem to think the only role
they were destined for is to roll at the
skating rink.-Boston Courier. :
81 read Browns new novcf-to. day, !.
she remarked. "How did it turn out2D'
he INQUIRED. "Badly. The ending is
very sad" "Ah2' "Yes; she married
him.
A Cincinnati man claims TO have o
wife so hot-tempered that he can light
his cigar from the flash of her eyes. He
made good match when he married
her, Chicago San.
The Ba1timorean says Ga clerk is like a
| gun because he can be discharged" lie
may also get loaded without the kuowl-
edge of the proprietor and 60 of unex-
pectedly.-Piclyune.
During the past two years 80, 900
roller skating rinks have been opened IN
this country. During the last year and
six months 100 new court plaster fac
tories have been established. -EransrlLs
argus.
A member of Congress visited the
rink the other night and put on the
rollers for the first time. He was not
invited to "takc seat on the floor OF
the house." but he took one, all the
same. e.-NorristoUn Herald.
Tco young for suspicion. Edith (con-
temrlating her face in the mirror)-
"Mamma, me fink Katie Jones is berry
pretty" Edith Give minutes later)-
'sMamma, Inc fink me berry much like
Katie Jones. "--IIarrard Lampoo0.
Upon this bald old Earth of sin,
Which Yhirls from day to day,
There are many things to make us grin,
And laugh our breath away.
BuG there's nothing will man invest
With mirth, and make him holer,
Like finding in last years vest
A last years unspent dollar.
It is said that every convict in the
Ohio penitentiary is compelled to write
an ESSAY each month. When he is re-
fractory his essay is read to him. The
Ohio authorities are making the prison
discipline more severe every year.
Graphic.
''If man wants to own the earth, what
does woman want" inquired Mr.. Grab
of his better half, fer 4 family matinee
few days ago. "Wcll, my dear" re-
spondcd that lady in gentle, smother
ing tone, 'to own the man, suppose"
Boston Post.
Gayly the rash young man
Puts on the skates,
Saying, "1 think can
Astonish the States"
Then he strikes wildly out
Faster and faster;
And with a bump and shout
Iclls for court-plastcr.
our NOHoE, l AIN suLllIloucu w aei'S
on the grand jury, but wish you would
excuse me-" "What is your business,
sir?" 81 am coal merchant" You
are excused, sir, On the ground that it
would be impossible for coal merchant
to weigh matter properly and find
true Chicago Nems.
"You sce," he explained, ~ have a
little railroad back here in Wisconsin.
That is, have organized one, and Sc.
cured the right of way across the two
counties. came down to Chicago to
float out little loan. l want q hundred
thousand dollars 81 sce." "Well,
I've been here week, and haven't ac-
complished anything "Why?" "Wel!,
the best offer I've had yet was to furnish
me the money at twenty-five per cent.
interest, and charge me sixty per cent.
commission for making the loan. What's
left won't pay me for lying to the farm
ers."-WuH Street Netcy.