Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-10-16
SPICE.

A rich young woman-Syndi-Kate.
The silent watchers of the night ;
Those not wound up.
"Sheol and blazes' Is but poor
substitute when man steps on a
tack.
The songs of the incarcerated Fish,
with which we are frequently treated,
arc very like whale.
A Harlem man asks ten thousand
dollars damages for the loss of three
fingers. lie must be a pickpocket.
A young mother should not be too
ambitious TO correct her children. She
should begin at the bottom.
~ care not who makes the brooches
of the family" said strong-mindcd
wife, "as long as l wear them"
A Staten Island school teacher has
just launched yacht which he has
christened "Rattan." 1t is sort of
birchbark.
Young house-wise: "What miser.
able little eggs again. You really
must tell them, Jane, to let the hens
sit on them little longer"
|You say you known Sallic Jones p
eyes" as she homelier than her
sister Mary?" "Yes: there's more
of her; she's bigger"
A young lady rebukingly asks:
(Which is the worse, to lace tight, or
to get light?" Really, we cannot
answer the question. We never
laced.
George: ado you know, Ethel, old
Stokes had a perplexity fiji? the other
day ?" Ethel "a perplexity fit? You
mean a parallel stroke"
A man may be ever so firm be-
lever in the theory Of evolution, but
when he is afflicted with boils he is
not always believer in the "furvival
of the sitlist."
Evil cucumbers corrupt bananas"
is the way little girl repeated the
text. She was quite right, as her
little brothers stomach-ache after
dinner testified.
II do think that thirteen is really
an umlucky NUMBER" said a pert
Young miss who had just entered her
teens; at is too old for dolls and too
young for beaux?'
Wife: "Don't bother me now I'M
twist your own suspenders ; we sure
! ly will be late. It's time now for the
first dance, and | am now only fully
half undressed for the ball."
"Greek? Do understand Greek ?,
said a jolly German. "VelI, l shoost
can schmilc. Wy, ven 1 vas leeilc
poy, alway swim in dot greek in-
shteadt Of dot ribbe."
"Boss, hab you got any Oh dem con-
found cavortic pills" "Yes. Do you
want them plain or coated ?" Dunno.
want dem ones what's whitcwash-
ed He got 'enI.
"Hhe tendency to do wrong increas-
es towards night" says well-known
clergyman. l think this is very likely
to be true, for when Adam ate the
forbidden fruit it was near Eve.
SIS the man honest?' asked old
Tyson. "llonest as the day is long,
was the reply. "Ye-es," said Old
Tyson; "but then lie won't do at all
| want him for night Waterman
"Out of every one hundred and
nine female school teachers" says All
exchange, "seven marry every year,
How many times do the relnalnin.
lO2 marry? Give us all the facts.
A magazine writer says the Indians
are increasing in number. This must
be all error. Not'nearly so many In.
dams are standing in front o. cigars
stores to day as there were twenty
J five years ago. .r
The co mposer of "Put me in m,
little bed" announces that he got Tel
dollars for writing that interesting
lyric and hints that twas not enough
1t was not; he ought to have got tel
years.
An absent-minded professor wa
sitting at his desk writing one even
ing, when one of his children entered
: "What do you want? | can't be dis
turbed now" IL only want to sa!
goodnight" "Never mind now, to
morrow morning will do as well.
One of them was just coming GU
of the post-office. The other was 90
ing i'll. They stopped, shook hands
smiled and the one observed: "Quil,
a swell affair, that of Smiths" IN
deed What was it?" "A boil" Ant
{ then they separated without shakin,
hands, -, -,rTf -4s'