, 1885-07-04

mouth to pour out a stream OF sound that
would discount n steam whistle aud put a
saw-mill to the blush. He possessed a vo-
cahulary Of long words that fairly dazi his
audisnce.
There WAS something moro In this contest
for place than n mere exhibit OF patriotic
thunder. The valley possessed a lovely little
countri girl, who for a brief period Of her
existence answered to the name OF Pop
Sloan or medium height, slender as a
sylph, she had tho bloom Of youth grated
on a delicacy OF make rare to the fields OF
our pastoral regions. She was us pretty, to
uee a country expression las n painted wag-
ON" or to put it stronger, as "a Missouri
mule.r
To make her attractions, II possible.
stronger, she wns the sole heiress TO all old
Slnan's possessions. The citizen thus desig-
mated was a man Of various occupations. He
kept tavern and a thoroughbred Of Comes
togy origin. He was postmaster and auc-
tioneer; but his great claim TO distinction
came in on the fact thai he was the paternal
author Of the divine Pop-short for Polly,
and d villninous corruption OF Mary.
The venerable and many-sided Sloan appre
ciated his possession. He knew that Pop,
gotten up Regardless, and waiting on the
table, active, smiling and amiable, blinded
his guests to the weak coffee, strong butter,
heavy biscuits and rancid bacon, for which
they had to pay in hard cash and a harder
indigestion.
He c-ountenanced all Of Pops many adj
mirers, careful to favor no one, as he sought
the custom of all. "Ye'l have to git up
mighty early in the mornin'," no was won't
to say, ito catch my Pop. and amt a-goin'
to gin any fellow a lift-for faint fair
Among these suitors were two who seemed
to be favored more than the others by Pop
herself. One was the oratorical limb OF the
law, the young man of the wonderful vocal
organs, Andrew Jackson Fossett, Esq, and
the other a country youth answering TO the
name of Peter Pepperton- Peter, or, as be
was generally called. Pete, was 4 tall, stout,
ruddy-cheeked fellow, well-known and popu-
ular for his sense Of humor and rough, but
go~od-natured power OF retort. Pete was ono
Of our debating orators, and when he ross to
speak a ripple Of laughter would run over
the audience in response to the broad grin
with which he began his ''discoorse." And
many were the laughs that followed at his
quaint, humorous way of treating the argu-
ments offered by his opponents
I became acquainted with this love affair
at an early day, and in a queer manner. l
met Pete in the woods one afternoon when
he was Telling timber. Inviting me to sit
beside him on a stump he gave me his conf
denoe.
81 want that gal, Donk, - for that was the
twist he gave my unfortunate name, and
I'm going to git her or break a trace-and If
/ don't, I'm going to git up and git myself
What do you mean, Peter
~ mean to pull out o this neck o woods,
and go TO San Jo.r
And the poor follows face took ON a rueful
look, SO foreign to it that he seemed another
man.
''Well, nov are you getting on in your git,
Peter
There's where you git me. Derned il l
know. Sometimes she's sweet on me, and
then agin she amt. Derned IL / don't think
she's more in the breechin' than the collar,
and all on account of that ornary cuss Andy
Fossett. You see he sorter outshines me-.
He's picking up lets OF money at 'Fountin,
and bucks round In store clothes all the
time. amt got EN- only for Sunday, and
thea I amt used 10 EN-. He is. Then he
comes down on Sunday, my day, in a spank
ing rig, and takes her out a-riding, and the
Lord alone knows what's happening in them
rides, - and a vexed expression came over the
poor fellows face, from which the perspira-
ton fairly rolled.
"Why, Pete, you can have my rig any
time you want it.n
Thank you. Donk; but she'd know It
wasn't mine, and then L wouldn't fit the har-
ness. | mean,n be continued, sesing my
puzzled look, THAT the thing wouldn't hitch
harmonious. You SOC them oxenf We'll,
you go to 'em AMI speak gently like, as you
would to a boss, and they Won't move. But
let me take the CAD and fling 1t over 'em,
with an oath or two, and they'll benz to it
unanimous Seer
Il think so"
NOW that ornary son o Satan has taken
to writin' her letters longest sort, and full
of honey. She reads EN- to me. 1 thought
I'd try it on, too, and l got a book from Nil
ler's store hat was just the thing. Here it
ia
He took from his coat pocket, hanging on
a sapling, a copy of the Complete Letter
Writer, - and opening on page Is showed me
a model Of a letter from a young man to a
young lady, making proposal Of marriage.
1t began, Respected Miss, y and was in every
respect n cast-iron model.
Well" continued Pete. ~ copied that
out in my best hand write, on pink paper,
and carried it to her myself. Just as / was
going to hand it over, skin my buttons II /
didn't soc that Identical book on the table.
I Just husked my letter, quick as a shake Of
a sleeps tail. She asked me what I had
there, and l said, oh, nothing but soma
verses for her-but l guessed Andy Fossett
was a-hlling the demand in that line. She
gin a little ~scornful laugh, like, and said
Andy was n beautiful ~writer-cuss him.
'She said GUS himr
''Oh dern ii, no, ! thought it Now, Donk,
/ want you to help me.r
with all my heart, Pete. Shall 1 make
love for you to the girlf'
"Thunderl no. You'd put in pounds for
yourself for every ounce you gave me. I'll
tell you how. Folks say, Donk, you have
more farming than common sense. That's a
lie, OF course. How can a man have farming
without sonsei / want you 10 write me a
bully love letter, and I'll copy II. Yon know
how to 10 it You can dc anything but
make yourself useful, and you're right about
that FL a monkey could be taught to hos
be wouldn't be n show in a red coat You
write me that letter, and I'll 20 to town next
Saturday and give Bill Smith the cussedest
licking he ever got for lying about you the
way he does
/ declined the punishment offered my emo
my in my behalf, but promised the letter. This
did not ave William g., however. He was
somewhat surprised to find himaelf do
nouneed As a reptile and liar, who was not