The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

There's no flour in the ider's loaf.
moustache.
"Wcre you bull or a bcar?" asked an
acquaintance of aspeculator. "Neither,"
he replied, 81 was an ass. s."-Burligton
Free Press.
The alamanac has its uses. Without it,
it would be almost impossible to distin-
guish spring from winter or winter from
spring. Boston Transcript.
RECOGNIZES A FRIEND.
And now the watermelon green,
In market stalls attracts the eye;
The doctor with smiling mien
Regards it as he passes by.
Boston Courier.
''rhc Northwest lumber resources
have decreased twenty-five per cent. in
the last year." The supply of block
heads, however, keeps right up with tho
demand.
A Wisconsin man was reported as
murdered" when the word should have
been ''married," bat the distinction was
so slight that the proof reader let it pass.
Boston Pest
You can find man who Enjoys break
ing in new boots good deal easier than
you can converse with a woman who
wouldn't stop eating pie to kiss baby
any me- Chicago Ledger.
The Jones and the Browns, tits true, goodly
showing make;
But You'll agree our family from them can
'take the cake"
Yet should you chance to doubt the fact and
reckon it a myth,
Just look in the directory and find the name
of Smith.
Life
81 have here letter directed to the
prcttiest woman in the house." an
nounced the presidentess of woman's
convention. -Four reporters on the front
scat were trampled to death in the rush
for the speakers stand.
Asking too much-A man applied at a
house in San Antonio for aid. "You
should go to work and earn a living"
was the indignant reply. "Go to work!
1t isn't bad enough that I am 50 poor
that | have to beg, and here you come
and want me to work beside. "-Syt-
ings.
"What and When to Eat' is the title
of an article in an exchange. This is
subject on which we are posted. The
"when" never gave us any trouble in all
our eating, but we have been compelled
to do laundering sight of skirmishing
around after the "what. ."-NewnaGn In
dependent.
THE MERRY MAIDEN.
The sealskin sacque, that erst with pride she
Is now in camphor safely laid away,
And from the sultry city to the shore
With pleasure hastes the maiden fair and
Tn linen. lawn. or muslin, or piuue,
| And ribbons at her throat, vision fair,
| Along the yellow sands where wavelets play
+, She passes slowly, with a pensive air..
| Creating havoc 'mong the hearts of mash
Boston Courier.
Call a girl chick, and she smiles;
| call a woman hen, and she howls.
| Call young woman a witch, and she IS
pleased: call an old woman a witch, and
| She is indignant. Call a girl kitten,
and she rather likes it; call woman
cat, and she'll hate you. Queer sex, isn't
it?-Red Bluff (Cal) Neaos.
| "Say not that the day of disinterested
benevolence has vanished. We know of
a man who has the rheumatism, which
has treated him in the most cruel man
ner. and vet there is no end to the things
that man has done for that rheumatism,
| and he still continues in the same un-
| selfish course. ."-B0st0n Transcript.
FIGURATIvE ASTRONOMY
Astronomy is derful
And interesting, 9;
The cars wolves around the sun
Which makes q year you.
| The moon is dead and calm,
By laws of phys greet;
It's Z where the stars alive
Do nightly scintil 8.
| If watchful Providence be
With good in 10 tions fraught
| Did not Keep up it's grand desigl
| We soon would come to O.
+! Astronomy is ! derful,
But it's Q 8o4.
man grasp, and that is why
I'd better say ne MORE
--V G. DodsA