The Nevada picayune., 1885-07-30
The Church Debt.

have been thinking the matter over seriously, and I have decided that if I had my life to live oyer again would like to be an eccen- tric milli onaire.
 l have eccentricity enough, but I cannot success ful y push it with out more means.
 have great many plans which 1 would like to carry out in case l could unite the two necessary ele- ments for the production of the successful eccentric millionaire, Among other things I would be willing to bind myself and give proper security to any one who would put in money to offset my eccentricity, that I would ultimate ly die. We all know how seldom the eccentric millionaire dies. 1 would be willing to inaugurate reform in that direction.
 I think now I would endow a home for men whose wives are no long, CT able to support them. In many cases the wife, who was at first able to support her husband com fortably, finally shoulders church debt, and in trying to lift that. she overworks and impairs her health so that she becoms an invalid while her husband is left to pine away in solitude, or dependant on the cold charities of the world,
 My heart goes out toward those men even now, and in case 1 should fill the grave of the eccentric mill ionaire, I am sure that 1 would do the square thing by them.
 The method by which our wives in America are knocking the church debt by working up their husbands groceries into "angel food,' and selling them below actu- al oost,is deserving of the attention of our national tinanciers.
 The church debt itself is deserv- ing of notice ill this country. It cert ainly thrives better under republican form of government than any other feature of our boas- ted civilization. Western towns spring up every where, and the first anxiety is to name the place the second to encur a church debt and establish roller rink.
 After that a general activity in trade is assured. Of course, the general hostility of church and rink will prevent ennui and listlessness, and the church debt will encourage business boom. Naturally the church debt cannot be paid with out what is generally known through the west, as the "festival and hooraw." This festival is all open market where the ladies trade the groceries of their husbands to other ladies' husbands and every body has "perfcctly lovely time" The church clears s2-aQ, and thir- teen ladies are sick the next day.
 This makes a boom for the phy. sicians and later Or for the under. taker and general tombist. So it will be seen that the western town ] is right in establishing a church debt as soon as the survey is made and the town property named. After the first church debt has been properly started, others will rapidly follow,so that no anxiety need be felt if the church will come forward the first year and buy more than it can pay for.
 The church debt is a comparl- lively modern appliance, and yet it has been productive of many pe- culiar features For instance we call to mind the clergyman who makes a speciality of going from place to place as a successful debt demolisher. He is part of the general system just as much as the ice cream freezer or the button hole boquet.
 Then there is Q social knock wn.and.drag-out which goes along with the church debt. All these things add to the general in- terost, and to acquire interest in one way or another is the mission of the c. d.
 once knew a most exemplary woman who became greatly inter- ested m the wiping out of church