The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-06-06

songsters perched on high, drink in the
ozone and pour it forth in their joyous
notes of gladness. June is truly the idea
month of the year, and was so named after
Juno, in Roman mythology the queen Of
heaven 1t is then that the picnic bursts
forth in all its glory and the young man
with his are-you-there moriarty delights to
HE himself and herself off to some seclu-
ded sylvan dell, the farther from the rest
of the party the better. 1t is not too warm
a month to become engaged, and 1t is
thought to be the time, above all the year,
when Cupid lays siege to the heart of the
maiden at so much per siege; for an aver
age picnic, dear fair reader, will cost the
young man In the straw hat and summer
pants an ante Of $40 to see the blind.
However, that need not concern you in
the least. The amount of fun young
couple can gather in June pic mic is
worth the outlay at least while it lasts. If
1t were always June, what paradise this
northern hemisphere would be for those
who love this kind of weather. All, me.
The Gossiper's sanctum was visited the
other day by real live poet and it seemed
as though he made his living invoking the
muse, and gazing into the cerulean voids
for his poetic ideas. He looked like dis
tress warrant, AMI neither the Durbar of
Hyderbad, the Goorka of Nepaul, the
Gherkin of Tamboul, the Begun of Bag
dad, or the Ahkoond of Swat was arrayed
like unto him. He had on tencent
chip hat and lucent suit of clothes, an
old pair of shoes, out of which protruded
his toes, while over his shoulders were
slung a pair of cow-hide boots and carpet
bag. On entering he saluted the Gosslper
with this two-line specimen of his genius:
~ thought, stree, I'd make raider
On the old FREE TRADER,
And see of what stuff its made sir"
That settled it; of course he was poet.
He seated himself on pile of exchanges
and said that his name was Milton w.
Curtiss, the poet of the Dixon TeIegraph,
that he could write poetry as easy as rolling
off log, and that in common, every day
poetry he was afraid of no man in catch
as catch. can, japanese, Graeco- Roman, go
as-you-please, or Marquis of Queensbury
style of writing poetry. He said that he
had been at the business off and on for the
past 20 years. stated that he had written
good deal of that sort of literature for the
Telegraph, which, somehow did not always
appear In the course of his extended
remarks Mr.. Curtiss said that he was re-
publican, but that he had abandoned poll
tics for the more congenial field of poetry.
He then went down into one of his old
boot legs and tished out poem, passed it
over to insert as a sample. 1t was written
on brown paper and smslled so badly as to
need disinfection. 1t was 3 line, 13-stanza
effusion, headed, "Cleveland is the demo
cratic Idel in the next campaign" 1t will
be wet day when it sees the light of pub
LEGATION. 1t wouldn't read well in demo-
cratic paper, and anyhow, the metre seems
to be sadly out of whack and not fully up
to the average productions of Ottawa poets.
The blue eyed poet from the banks of the
Rock river asked If there was any paper in
this city that would hire him as its poet
lauriate He was told that, with the en-
ception of the FREE TRADER, there was no
newspaper in Ottawa that could afford to
hire high priced poet on yearly salary,
but that most likely he could secure po-
sition on the Streator Free Press, as its ed
itors were about to establish poets Cor
ner" in that paper, and if he applied in
time he stood good chance of getting the
lob. He then asked for letter of intro
ductlon and was furnished the following:
JOHN w. FORNoF-Dear Sir: The
bearer is Milton w. Curtiss, the poet OF the
Dixon Telegraph, who learning of the en-
terprise 50 characteristic of the Free Press,
seeks your beautiful city, hoping you Will
engage him as your poetical contributor. AS
this Is an otf-year for poets you may be
able to arrange with MIR. Curtiss on very
easy terms He left the Dixon Telennph
because MS tulplOyeI COHlPcieu hih w
saw wood as we'll as write poetry.
Yours fraternally,
THE GossIPER.
The letter of recommendation was hand
ed him and he Immediately took the over
land route for Streator, but up to date no
productions have been noticed in the Free
Pre,s from the pen of the poet from the
banks of the Rock river.
An exchange has an article on "how to
be kissed" Now proper kissing is an art
which can only be learned by long prac-
tlce and the length Of time required to be-
come an expert In that line depends very
much upon the instructor. A bashful fell
low has been known to learn readily In one
evening, while there are others who never
could acquire the art