Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-11-01
VIII AND titNiOlt.

| -'nu mo turkey j won Hit w. hht u
ask HIM to send the after turkey 1
always gifts one before daybrcak
An exchange says that folded
newspaper placed under the coat IN
the small Of the back is an excellent
substitute for an ovcrcoat Now is the
time to subscribe. EcdnsriIe argus.
Young lady--"We had a delightful
time at Music Hall last evening. Mr..
Dumlcy. 1t was a Mcycrbcer night
You know. Are you fond OF Meyer
bccr2'
Mr.. Dumlcy (hcsitstingly) --"Ye-cs,
but think would just as soon have
Milwaukee. " NcD Io,k sun.
A dry-goods advertisement says:
Everybody knows that failIe Fran
caise is crowding hard upon gros-g grain
silk We beg leave to differ with the
! statement There are no doubt doz-
en- persons right here in this town who
are not aware that such "A momenlous
occurrence was eventuating. NORRIS
toDa Herd d.
A coachman in the employ OF the
Stevens family. the Hobokcn million
,re, has been making violent love to
a Dung lady of the family, and was so
IpcIsistcnt a nuisance that he was final
" arrested. and now languIshcs in jail.
re world must be undergoing a change
hen fascinating cOachman fails to
get up an cIopcmcnt with an hcress.
St. Louis young LADY, called on
Mrs. s this afternoon, mamma, and
what do you think | saw on her new
ebony paror tabIc3
Mother-l have no idea.
S. Louis Young Lady--a volume OF
Shakspcare's "Paradi,r L,st.n bound
in dark blue. Think of it. Dark blue
against an ebony back-sround!-NeW
lOrs Times.
The colorcd servant in the South Is
occasionally good at repartee. Mrs.
lerger found her servant. Belinda, re-
posing in the rocking-chair reading
newspaper.
You seem to think you are the lady
of the house." said Mrs. Ycrgcr. sar-
castically.
mo mum. Is brack. but l is not
such u fool as that II LdS SUtingS.
The burglars have hit upon plan
by which the hercest Watchdog is rem
dcrcd harmless. They take along anoth-
cr dog and on arriving on the premi-
scs to be robbed let him loose. OF
course the Watchdog, seeing strange
dog, stops to ask him VIII is the news.
and while the two sagaclous animals
are exchanging information the burg
lars go in aud get the silver. - LOntS-
ruie CO'Ir Cr-,jOurndi.
Several years ago there lived in Lit
tie Rock bright young man. but who,
like many bright young men of his
day, was sadly addicted to tho excess
sive use Of whisky. One day his broth
er went to him and said:
brother John. | SEQ that YOU are
determined to kill yourself drinking,
rel Of whisky and barrel Of water in-
to it and shut you up in it until you
Kill Yourself.
Brother William" the young man
replied. never mind tho water; put in
two barrels of whisky. ."-ArkdnSas
7rIreler.
Gentleman-'Uncle 'Rastus, I've
got job of whitewashing for YOU"
Uncle 'Rastus-''W ell. | KANT do
hit tcrday, sab.
What's the matterP |
thought you were anxious for work.
Uncle 'Rastus-"So | is, sab. But
ye' see boss, de Colorcd Workin' men,
Amulgumatcd 'Sociashun TO dc per-
tecshun oh de laborin' man frum lie
encroachments an inroads OBJ cap'-
ted Chairman OBJ de occashun. So, yo'
sees. boss, hain't got no time to
spar. ."-AeU York >un.
There is nothing that distresses Eng
lish people, when they are ut homo ia
England. more than American pronun-
citation OF American names. Chicago,
instead of Chick-argo, as every Eng
lishman knows the name should be
pronounced, hurts their feeling dread
fully. A Boston lady, who recently
spent little time with an English fa-
mily in London. where. on account of
the residence OF relative in Michigan,
there was occasion for reference now
and then to that State, says that after
she had once mentioned the name OF
Michigan her hostess managed quietly
TO get her ear, and whispered:
Couldn't you, you know. while you
aic hcte, Jusl W make IL seem llttle
less strange to our friends. say Mikki-
anp'-BOslon record.
Col. Bob lngersoll drops into John
Gault's vault, in the basement Of No.
II Broadway. every now and then. He
has come down from old rye to beer AS
beverage. A little while ago | saw
him there playing pool. lie beat his
opponent every game-then treated
the house. told this story. and van
ishcd: when ] was up in the North
west he said, IL noticed that the men
cut down the trees, and the women
folks RATED them down the stream"
IL should think the men would do
that, too" observed Sam Hazard. "lt's
not woman's work"
go. said Col. Bob. "a. for m Y part,
do not believe in hc-rafters" ="
He escaped with his life by way of
the back window.-Io- Day.
The following is said TO have been
the way actually used by mother to
remove from the mind Of her son an
idea Of which he was strongly DOS
sesscd. William y. was an awkward
country boy, with immensely large feet
and with less than the average amount
OF mental ability. lie had in some way
got it into his head that he was inten-
ued by proyldonce for "a n rIeruvm,n and