St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-02-24
THE DEAD "DAY."
The Sale Of Its Effects at Auction Some of
the Bidders.

|
the Bidders.
The familiar song OF the auetioneer greeted
those who passed by the three-story brick
building at No $50 Jackson street yesterday
afternoon, where our genial friend, P. t.
kavanagh, was urging a large audience to
purchase several tons of old truck, the dis
| jected members of the corpse of the late Ia
mented Day. A GLOBE man entered out oil
curiosity and found large number OF promi-
nent newspaper men present. The sale
had been going on for several hours,
and such unimportant adjuncts OF a
newspaper office had been sold
as printing press, an imposing stone, q
boiler, engine, safe, cash drawer, type, etc.
But the interest did not flag. Indeed, 1t
seemed to increase when the auctioneer an
nounced that having disposed of the machin-
cry he would now knock down to the highest
bidder large assortment of parapherna ala
without which no well-regulated newspaper
office could prosper.
JOURNALISTIC BLAsPHEMY.
"And first, gentlemen, 1 offer for your in
spection very fine line of cuss-words, which
you will find very convenient to use ire
quently, in cases where galley of live mat
ter is pied, or when an important special
dispatch arrives just five minutes after
the last form is made up.
You will observe many of them
are of the delicately feminine and tender
variety, such as ''good gracious!'' and 'oh,
scissOrs!'' These amt much account around
a newspaper Office ordinarily, but here are
others of 2 more polysyllabic and sulphurous
variety, such as are often demanded in critical
emergencies. Here, for instance, is"
But the paper on which this is printed is
combustibe, and to insert the words them
selves might cause confagration. They
fully justified all the commendatory things
which had been said of them, however.
There was lively bidding.
F. A. Carleton of the Mankato Musings
started the competition going, with
the side remark that the resources
of his vocabulary had been subjected
to severe strain recently by a circumstance
not entirely uconnected with legislative
reception.
Will E. Maskell of the Fl. Smelling
Sounder was an active competitor in the
bidding, it being understood that he wanted
to select few expressions appropriate to the
occasion when a proof-reader spells ''under-
skirt with an ''h'' in absorption of lady's
costume at paper carnival. The Musings
man had the longest purse, however, and
captured the valuable plum.
OLD CHESTNUTS.
The auetioneer next produced a box
labeled "Chestnuts-Short."
'Here," be announced, sis lot OF old
newspaper jokes in good state of preser-
walton. They are guaranteed to be
free from any ingredients that will injure the
most delicate constitution or offend the most
fastidious taste. You see the list: The Goat
and the HOopskirt, Her Fathers Boot,
Major Camps Weather Predictions, and all
the old favorites, suited to all seasons. How
much am l offered for the lotf'
The only bidder was Major Jayshaw, who
thought some of them might come handy in
filing up the afternoon paper he has just
bought in Mendoza.
The next drawer was labeled 'Chestnut s-
Long, filled with newspaper cuttings from
the Post-Dispatch, Enquirer, Chicago Tri-
Dune and other papers.
II show you here. gentlemen, an elegant
lot of matter for features. Here are interviews
with physicians on the dangers of cigar6t
smoking and roller skating, talks with drug
gists about the prevalence of opium eating
among uIgu-IOueu lauleS: CONVERSATIONS Will
gamblers about the vicissitu1es of their life.
They have stood the test of time and all kinds
of weather and are sterling stock goods that
never fail to hit the public, and with very
little ingenuity can be polished up, localized
and made to look like new. Several OF them
are illustrated. With this article on Exuer-
fences of a Policeman, for instance, goes a
diagram of the place where the burglar de-
hpfn ba mi vi n
dow. Now, how much am l offered for the
lotl"
FOR FEATURES.
A lively tussle ensued between G.. A. Will
hanson of the Short Line Singer and John
Stone Of the Merriam Park Mirror. Each
saw the magnificent possibilities contained
in the box and were active competitors for
its possession. J. n. Mind of the Little Can
ada Courier also put in feeble bid. Mr..
Stone captured it, however, and the results
will appear in the near future in a general
illumination of the columns of the Mirror.
1.-THE next thing Offer" continued the auc-
toneer sis a secondhand dynamite sensa-
ton, which" but he got no further, his an
nouncement being drowned in torrent of
derisive jeers.
''Well, this closes our sale," cried the
Jolly auctioneer. ''Much obliged for your at
tendance. Oh, here's one, though, / nearly
forgot-a nest Of cockcoaches, certainly no
printing Office can get along without few
of these pets"
There was but little demand for them,
however, most of the gentlemen seemingly
being supplied with a sufficiency in this line,
Mr.. Glethen OF the Auoka Triher taking the
lot for a song to stock up his new Office.
There being nothing more to sell, except Il
iob-lot of typographical errors, the meeting
adjourned.