davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-04-29

Palpitation, Dropsical. Swelings, Dizziness, In
digestion, Headache, Sle,plessness cured ''Well'
Health REVIEWER
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-04-29
-
Aches - PAINS!

"l ache all over!" What common ex.
preston; and how much it means to many
a poor sufferer These aches have a
cause, and more frequently than is gener-
ally suspected. the cause is the Liver or
Kidneys. No disease is more painful or
serious than these, and no remedy is so
prompt and effective as
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-04-29
THENREOPLE

Strengthening, improved the best for blackjack.
pains in chest or side, rheumatism neuralgia.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-04-29

0000 000in presents given away; Send
y UUl II II luz cents postage, and by mail
pAUUUUU yeo6 win st free y,,1 p1 fSsi s
start you in work that will at once bring you in
money faster than anything else in America. All
abou the 100000 in presents with each box
Asen wanted everywhere. of either sex, of all
ages for all the time, or spare time only, to work
for us at their own homes Fortunes for all work
ers absolutely assured Don't delay. H. HALLar
4 Co., Portland, Maine,
Dec1 1884
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-04-29
WARREN LELAND,
Largest Hotel Enterprises

Of America, says that while passenger from
New York on board ship going around Cape
Horn, in the early days of emigration to Cal.
ifornia, he learned that one Of the officers OF
the vessel had cured himself, during the voy.
age. of an obstinate disease by the use Of "a
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-04-29

4 m IND Send six cents for pc stage, 3 Il
A PR|| receive ran,s fire. free, costly box y
more money right away than any
hing else in this world ALL of either sex, succeed
rom the first hour. The broad TO adto fortune
pens Def ore the S workers,ab solutely sure. At
once addre TE uE & Co., Angnst,, Maine.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-04-29

F81HRYmore money than at anything else
NV ae46N by taking an agency for the best
selling book ont Beginners succeed grandly-
None fail Terms free. H*LLET Book Co., Port
land, Maine.
The Press., 1885-09-24

Hartford Courant It is frequently complained by Connecticut people of prop erty that they are deeply troubled in the matter of investments by our tax laws, which are so different from those of New York and so annoyingly restrictive. The New York Sun epitomises the New York law, and it proves to be practically the same as our own. The difference is not ill the law, but in the enforcement of it. The personal estate in New York includes furniture, money in bank, stocks, bonds, bonds and mortgages, notes, bonds of the city and county, book accounts, and all debts due by solvent debtors. It is the duty of the assessors to find and tax this property as much as the real estate, but instead they entirely free many citizens from any personal tax whatever without examining them under oath. Hundreds of millions of dollars escape taxation in this way. Practically the personal property goes untaxed. This is only another dem- onstration of the futility of trying to tax fairly by nominally assessing everything. It is impossible with human nature what it is. But new test is to be made of the law now. A real estate owner has refused to pay his tax and has carried his case in- to court, passing his objection on the theo- ry that the assessors have failed to comply with the law in the matter of personal property and consequently their whole tax roll is invalidated.
The Press., 1885-09-24

A Boy WITH A BULGE.--''No, my son, , he replied, as he put on his hat, ''you can't go to the circhs."
 But why, father?'
 'Well, in the sfirst place, can't fool away my money on such things"
 s'Yes, but have enough of my own"
 "And, in the next place, it is rough crowd, the sentiment is unhealthy, and no respectable person can countenance such things"
 "But, faith"
 ''That's enough, sir. You can't go. want you to enjoy yourself, but you must seek some more respectable amusement"
 An hour later curious thing happened in the circus tent. A boy climbed to the top flight of seats and sat down beside g man who had just finished glass of lem. onade and was lighting cigar. He had his plug on the back of his head and seem ed to be enjoying himself hugely. It was father and son. The father had gone straight to the grounds from dinner, and the boy had run away. The looked a each other for half minute, and then the boy got in the first blow by whispering
 ''Say, dad, If you won't lick me won tell ma you was here'
 The father nodded his head to the agree ment, and the great spectacular parade il the ring began. Y
The Press., 1885-09-24

a The great yacht raea.--. Scene an hoard the press steamer
 First Landsman--Look at her tack By Jove, she is going into stays Second Landsman-Now she's on the l htabbard tack
 First Why don't the bloody fool reef his jib-boom and put his fore sail hard down?
 Third Landsman-T There goes the other fellows on the port tack f@- @sA:ez .s~
 Old Salt (wildly) Here, for goodness sake somebody bring tack for these fel- lows to sit on and find out what it IS l. Philadelphia CaH
 Scouts Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver Oil, with Hypophosphites, Very Palatable and In creases Flesh. Dr. F. H Clement, Brighton, Ill says: ''Scott's Emulsion is the best have ever prescribed. It is very palatable, easily assimilated and gives strength and flesh to the patient" s
 T am jpstsas much opposed to tipping as anybody,s said Henderson; Hbut, neverthe- less, liquor rightly used is 8 blessing to hl- manity. When was ill last winter, actu- al believe it saved my life." Fogg-'Very likely; but how does that prove that liquor is a blessing to humanity ?"-Boston Transcript.
 A smooth complexion can be had by every lady who will use 'Parker's Tonic. For promptly regulating the liver and kidneys and purifying the blood, there is nothing like it, and this is the reason why it so quickly re- moves pimples and gives rosy bloom to the
The Press., 1885-09-24
UNHaRMED BY THRONGING SHARKS.

We find this paragraph Ill Trinidad (West Indies) letter to the Pittsburg Dis patch When whale is captured off the Bocas, the blowing of horns heralds its approach to one of the whaling stations in the islands of the Bocas. We at once de- termined to follow the whaling boat, which we soon saw rounding point, row ed by eight vigorous whalemen, and tow ing huge, shapeless mass. The capture of whale off the coast of Trinidad is alto gether different from an occurrence of the same kind in northern and Arctic regions, owing to the swarming of countless sharks about the defunct monster, and their fero- eious attacksnOn his carcass We followed in the wake of the whaleboat and quite close to the whale. Already the sharks, with an instinct rivallng that of carrion birds, were gathering round their prey and increasing in numbers every moment. We reached Monos, another island in the Bocas, and there at the whaling station. situated at fiat point on shallow water, the lifeless whale was hauled in close to the shore. Now began the work of cut ting up the whale, and carrying the blub- Der masses to the cauldrons. At this stage the sharks actually grew frantic, and would jump out of the water to seize on some piece of blubber they thought with in reach. These otherwise dangerous fish, es are, on an occasion of this kind, per- fectly harmless to man, and this is we'll known to the whalemen. One of them having dropped his knife in the water, dived to recover it ill the shallow water and was left unmolested by the swarming monsters, whom he almost touched at every moment Numbers of sharks are also harpooned with the greatest facility on these occasions, and the oil which is obtained from their hvers, is said to be to cod liver oil in therapeutic
The Press., 1885-09-24
IForsrhe a,fsssa '
 ROTH SIDES.

Though we should much forgive, and more
 condole,
 Things that are crooked in our tempted race, There's no excuse for robbing God, or soul, Or putting far away, the day of grace. Perhaps few have never had their fill Of wealth, ,-or other sublunary good While some, quite poor, and others, poorer
 still,
 Seem more contented with their scanty food. There may be some, deemed honest, pure, or Who seem so kind and good, in various
 ways
 You may not, under strong temptations, trust, Or,give them half their self-awarded praise. l. should not wonder if a few, descry The faults of others, but can seldom see Their own, from dust that's gathered in their
 eye,
 Who rarely use the lens of charity. 7rf. While some fast often, and make lengthy
 prayers, 3 sfI Just to seem pious to their fellow men, Are hypocrites the devils lineal heirs, And so recorded by prophetic pen. A few obtain enormous power, and wealth, And banker strongly for little more, Though it may come through chance, or
 fraud, or stealth 2 Their fervent prayer is, magnify my store" ," And there are sins,-too vile for me to name, Or entertain, without profoundest grief Sins that are hurling millions down to shame Without the power, or hope for their relief. Thank God all men are not bound up in
 self,
 A few give all they have, body and soul, And time, and home-and if they have it,
 pelf, s-.--. To renovate our race and make it whole. Yes, there are some, from pure, unselfsh end, Who toil-and willingly-for others good, Who scatter truth, and helping hand extend, : To lessen vice, and give the hungry food. Oh speed that day, ye feeting years of time, When, over continents, and isles and flood, Man may behold the spectacle sublime, Of earth's great family-one brotherhood.
 J. L. CLoUGH.
The Press., 1885-09-24

St. Paul boastingly remarks that the ''dual city of the northwest" handles more wheat annually than any other city in the country, not excepting even New York. This will naturally make Minneapolitans smile. It reminds one of the anecdote told of characteristic farmer in Maine He said that he and Bill Jones together owned more cattle than any two men in the state. When questioned by an inquis- itive bystander as to the number of cattle they owned individually, he was forced to confess that Bill Jones had 873 and that he had two. wo.-Misne0polis Tribune.
The Press., 1885-09-24

The Genesta won a consolation cup Fri day to take back to England ill place of the cup she came for. This was owing to the fact that neither the Puritan or the Priscilla was entered in the race, which was for cup valued at $1,0OO, presented by Commodore Bennett of the New York yacht club, to be sailed for by schooners, and one of like value, presented by Vice Commander Douglass, to be sailed for by sloops. Cutters were classed under the head of sloops. The course was to have been an equilateral triangle of forty miles, ,but the regatta committee being rather rusty on triangulations, the proposed tri- angle resolved itself, before the race was over, into wedge. the perimeter of which measured about thirty-one miles.
The Press., 1885-09-24
CIRCUMsTANCEs iALTER CAsEs,

A farmer hire d a man to help work the farm. One summer day, when labor was very scarce, the two were moving in the field, several larks flew up.
 "Look at those big cranes," said the hired mar.
 s'Those are not cranes j; they are only larks," replied the farmer somewhat sur prised.
 eff you don't say that they are cranes, I'll knock off work right now," said the hired man. .r, As the farmer could get nobody at that time to take the hired mans place, he was obliged to yield to the whim of the menial.
 "Yes," said the farmer, ''I see now that they are cranes, but they are not big cranes, they are only half-grown cranes. The hired man was satisfied with this concession. Some months afterwards, the hired man still being in the employ ment of the farmer, the latter said at din- ner one day, as he poured out a glass of water :- ,&s>t
 "Here is some very fine beer."
 ''That's no beer that's only water,' re- piled the hired man.
 eff you don't say it is beer you can ten- der your resignation, for don't want any offensive partisans about the place."
 The hired man knew very well that he couldn't get another situation at that time of the year, so he tasted the water, and cheerfully endorsed the administration saying :-
 "Of course its beer, but it hasn't got much body to it..
 Having thus convinced the president that he was sound on the goose question the# hted man vas allowed to retain his position. - 1erds Sy;ftsngs.
The Press., 1885-09-24

Courage is always the greatest when blend ed with meekness intellectual ability is most admirable when it sparkles in the setting of modest distrust; and never does the human soul appear as strong as when it foregoes re- yenge and dares to forgive an injury.
The Press., 1885-09-24
arannrsY fa srIIE en0lR.

.ss JEaEOUsY fNsTHE CHOIR. 4Asss 5 silverylnoted, LilyaEhroated, Starry -eyed and golden haired,
 Charming Anna,
 The soprano, All the singers hearts ensnared
 Long the tenor
 Sought to win her, Sought to win Der for bis bride;
 And the basso .S Loved the lass so, g Day and night for her be sighed. S
 The demeanor
 Of the tenor To the basso frigid grew;
 And the basso,
 As he was 80 Mashed of course, grew frightened too. @ Anna smiled on Roth, which piledon To their mutual hatred fuel
 So, to win her,
 Bass and tenor Swore they'd fight vocal duel.
 Shrieked the tenor
 Like Vennor Cyclone howling OCT the plain,
 Sang so high
 To outvie The bass, he split his head ill twain. Y Growled the basso
 Till he was so Low, to hear him was treat 4 Lower still he Went until he Split the soles of both his feet. a
 Charming Anna,
 The soprano, Mourned a week for both her fellows;
 Then she wed the
 Man who fed the Wind into the organ bellows.
The Press., 1885-09-24

The American Magazine of History gives the following account of the origin of the>expression 70. K. :" ''In the lan- guage of the Choctaw Indians one of the most frequently recurring expressions is the emphatic oke, with which an affirma- tion of denial is concluded. This oke (pro- nounced with strong accent on the last syl- lable) is one of the substitutes for the cor pulative verb to be, which is wanting in Choctaw. Oke, as pronounced in Choc- taw, has exactly the same sound as the al- phabetic pronunciation of the letters o K in English. To General Andrew Jackson is attributed the introduction of the Choctaw word into our Anglo-Ameri- can speech. Before the war of 1872, in voyages up and down the Mississippi and in trading expeditions overland from Nash vile, Tenn, to Natchez, Miss, through the Choctaw nation, he was brought into frequent communication with the Choc- Jaws "'.
The Press., 1885-09-24

I HAVE ALWAYS PAID RENT! For 8 house to live in. This year have half paid for a cottage, with money which, before used Sul- phur Bitters in my family, was paid to the doctor and the druggist. They cured my wife of Female weakness.-W. F. Sampson, Salem,
The Press., 1885-09-24

Boston Courier: He was losing his hair. "What you want, !" said the barber, as he ran his fingers through the few remaining hairs on the head of @ customer-s'what you want is a bottle of my hair restorer" stWhat want" replied the customer ''is a divorce" The barber said no more.
The Press., 1885-09-24
MALARIA
 And Fever and Ague.

McLaughlins Ague Pills have for years been and the Hudson River If used according to direc- tions they are certain remedy. To be obtained of the Stafford Springs druggists, by sending price ($1 will be nailed postpaid, by the proprietor, A. J. MCLAUGHLIN, Greenwich, New York Good live agents wanted. Address as above.
The Press., 1885-09-24

A VIILA1N.-No one but villain would put upon tho market as remedy, con- pound composed of ugly ingredients. Lewis Red Jacket Bitters are absolutely free from all deleterious matter and always cure Chills and Fever. Try them once and you will d. ways use them. They never fail.
The Press., 1885-09-24

DAUGHTERS WIVES AND MoTHERs.-We emphat caily guarantee Dr. Marchisi's Cathoicon ez4 male Remedy, to cure Female Diseases, such as Ovarian 15ou6les lnamnation and ulceration Failing and Barrennesa Change of Life, LeucorrhGa, besides many weaknesses springing from the above, like Headache, Boating, Spinal weakness Sleepiessness, Nervous debility, Palpftation of the heart, tSc For sale by Druggists Prices $ DO and $1 50 per Bottle. Send to Dr. J. B. Marchisi Utica N. Y, for Pamph- let, free For sale by W. D. Heald, druggist.
The Press., 1885-09-24

B. H. Douglass dS Sons Perfected Capsicum Cough Drops are manufactured by themselves and the result of over forty years experienced in compromising cough mixtures. Retail price, I5 cents per quarter pound.
The Press., 1885-09-24
DOMESTIC BAKERY.

for working people. Send 10 cents HET D postage, and we will mail you free. 8 AAAA royal, valuable sample box of goods
 that wlll put you in the way of making more money in few days than yon ever thought possible at any business. Capital not required You live at home and work in spare time only, or all the time. All of both sexes, of all ages, grandly cessful 50 cents to $5 easily earned every evening. That all who want work may test the business, we make this unparalleled offer Te all who well satisfied we will send $1 to pay for the trouble of writing us. Full particulars directions, etc., sent free Immense pay absolutely for ali who start atonce. Don't delay. Address STINsoE s co, ,POra- land, Maine, skEESEFs
The Press., 1885-09-24

For business men overtaxed, men who have lost their vigor or are easily exhausted, or de- pressed in spirits, Dr. R. c. Flowers Nerve Pills are the only absolute specific in the world.
 The Milwaukee Sentinel remarks that 'Sec- retary Lamar is said to be as fond of kissing the girls as General Sherman" And the Boston Post adds s'We should think he would be fonder of kissing the girls than Gen. eral Sherman :"
The Press., 1885-09-24

RUSSIAN SUPERsT1rIoN.-Two curious cases of superstition are reported from Russia. The Odessa Listok says that the other day coffin was seen floating in the Dniester. It was brought ashore and found to contain the corpse of man whose feet had been cut off. A peasant explain ed the case as follows: His uncle having died some time previously, several peas ants claimed to have seen his ghost walk ing about, and an old woman predicted that there would be no rain while the corpse remained in the cemetery. So It was dug out, the feet cut off to prevent the ghost from walking about, and the coffin set adrift on the river. The second case shows that the belief in witchcraft still ex- lsts. A great drouth ill Chersson was att tributed to the evil agency of two women who were called upon to produce rain by June IT, and when this failed they were ducked in the river. The "witches'' seem- ed to enjoy this, and remarked that now they would refuse rain altogether. This raised such disturbance among the pop ulace that the women had to be protected by the police.
The Press., 1885-09-24

The sign on the house of New Jersey ice dealer reads: 'sIce-For Cooling Purposes" {"
The Press., 1885-09-24

Coughs, Colds and Sore-Throat yield readily to H Douglass & Sons Perfected Capscum Cough Drops R tail price, 15 cents per quarter pound.
The Press., 1885-09-24
A Case Without a Parallel.

FOR SALE RV ALL DRUGGISTS PRICE, s1 per BOTTLE; BOTTLES, $.
The Press., 1885-09-24

The woman who has mastered the first lessons ill the equestrian art, and can sit her horse properly at walk or show-school canter, IS then ln position to decide whether she will learn to rule her horse, or whether she Is content to pass through life dependent for her comfort on the tenn per of her steed or the close, se-like at tentlon of some groom or gentleman escort. The hOrsewoman should sit so that the weight of the body falls exactly in the cen tre of the saddle, without heavily bearing on the stirrup; able to grasp the upright pommel with the right knee, and press against the ''hunting- horn" with her left knee, yet not exerting any muscular action for that purpose. For this end, the stir rup-leather must be neither too long nor too short. The ideal of fine horsewoman Is to be erect without being rigid, square to the front, and, until quite at home in the saddle, looking religiously between her horses ears. The shoulders must therefore be square, but thrown back a little, so as to expand the chest and make hollow waist, ''such as is observed in waltzing," but always flexible. On the fexibility of the person above the waist, and on the frmness below, all the grace of equestrianism, all the safety, depends. nervousness makes both men and women poke their heads forward, "a stupid trick in man, unpardonable in a woman. A woman should bend like a willow in storm, always returning to an easy yet nearly upright position. This seat should be acquired while her horse is led, first by hand, then with leading stick, and fi- nally with a lunging-rein, which will give room for cantering in circles. But where a pupil is encountered with reins, whip, and directions for guiding her horse, she may be excused for forgetting all about her seat or her position. The arms down to the elbows should hang loosely near,
 but not fixed to the sides and the hands, in the absence of reins, may rest in front of the waist.
The Press., 1885-09-24
PATIENTS Obtsined sda for nsx iayentioes s

PATIENTS or oStained far for ns ayentCas m s Caveats, Infringements, Trade-Marks, and all patent business promptly attended to.
 INVENTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN REJECTED may still, in most cases, be patented by us Being opposite the U. s. Patent Ofce and engaged in PA TENT BUSINESS EXCLUSIVELY, we can secure patents in less time than those who remote from Washington.
 = When Inventors send model or sketch, we make search in the Patent Oce and advise to it's patent ability, FREE OF CHARGE. Correspondence conf- dential; fees reasonable; and NO CHARGE UN- LESS PATENT IS OBTAINED.
 We refer by permission to the City Postmaster and to the Superintendent of the Post Office Money Order Division in Washington, For special references cir. oqlar, advice, &c., address, a-'
 C. A. SNOW x& CO.
The Press., 1885-09-24
suslMEss bskEcToRY.

r HI. REED. Attorney Tt Law, office in eJ Spellman's building, Main-st.
The Press., 1885-09-24
Boston am Albany Railroad. Tine Table.

A XLE GREASE and Castor Oil A At E. A BUCK & CO.'S.
The Press., 1885-09-24

Y w. CHANDLER, Insurance and
 J Real Estate Agency, Stafford Springs. Office ut .esidence on WestfOrdsAyenue. A y ! q
The Press., 1885-09-24

~ IT. PRESTON, Counselor at Law,
 Oe Notary Public, and Justice of the Peace, Will ingtOn. Conn.
The Press., 1885-09-24

Nf H.HOBBY, Piano. Tuner and Deal. Ie er in Pianos aud Organss Mansfelo, Conn
The Press., 1885-09-24

GEO. L.s ROCKWEAL, Real Estate NN and Business Broker, StaH0fd Springs, sConn Always at home Mondays and evenings.
The Press., 1885-09-24

T N. CRANE, Manufacturer of and II sdeaer in Harnesses, Robes, Bells, Fancy Lap Robes Whips, Trunks, Fancy Mats, etc.
The Press., 1885-09-24

UT V. WILSON, M. D., Physician
 w and Surgeon, successorfo Dr. w. L. Kelsey, Hopn
The Hartford herald., 1885-01-21
MARRIAGES

MILLER-DAvIs-At the residence OF
the brides father, Mr.. Thomas Davis
of Hartford, Thursday, Jan. 18th, 1885
at O'Clock, Mr.. Jno. Miller of McHepry
Ky, to Miss Nellie Davis. The bride
IS lovely and fascinating young lady;
and possessed of the qualities and traits
that will make her true bel mate for
the gentleman who has been so fortu-
nate as Ia win her. Mr.. Miller is a
gentleman OF great popularity and high
standing, by reason of his intrinsic
worth and genial manners. He has o
host of warm friends i'm his community
who will be delighted to hear of his
good fortune.
The ceremony which united Mr.. Mil
ler aud Miss Davis was performed by
Rev. p. \. Edwards, of the NJ. +. church
Miss Monte Patterson aud Mr.. Walter
Mercer were the attendants. The bridal
party left Immediately after the cere-
mony for McHenry, their future home.
We extend TO Mr.. Miller our congratu
lations, and To him aud his happy
bride unalloyed and enduring happi-
ness.