The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1885-12-01
Seqse and Mnpsrase.


and raw onion break up court-sbip |
swell you can tell us II he is youngr
Il should think be vas. He hssn't got
any hair yet" ,stss.,,i,aai
Fitz has good looking daughter who
be says will never marry q Dude. Dudes
usually dislike Miss Fig.
Banker: Nov there's thst Snuffen-I
he's 4 promising young man Tailor:
Yes. I've alws, found him that
An Augusta (Me.. lady has become
locally noted Cor spussessipgea head of
barr thst is nearly five feet long.
An exchange asks, WHY do people
have poor teeth 2" Probably because
they cant sfford to buy good ones.
Little Georgey was q ,esipned re.
specting his big sisters Intended. Sand
how old is bel" "Don't know"
A laiy in Cook county, Ill.,. ninety
eight years old, is getting second set
Of teeth she is getting them from
dentist. E.t.....t
General Berdan, the American rifle
and torpedo.maker, is said bv a CORE
spondent to be one Of the Cars "most
intimate friends"
OF course We do not wish to prevent
ladies calling upon Us, but will merely
mention the fact that there are mice IN
our editorial rooms.
The pin seems TO he the lode-star OF
woman's existence. It's hair-pin, roll
ing-piD, or pin money that she's reach
ing out for continually.
A sportsman. re urning from The
marshes, when asked ii be bad SHOT
anything, said: M, but / gave the
birds q good sarenading."
i Fond mother-Are you better, my
desrp Little Effie-I dunno. Is the
Jelly all gone? "Yes." "Well, I guess,
then, I'm well enough to get up"
"Looklng at your drawings imbues
me with an artistic fever" remarked
ISmithe to Miss Lulu. at ought to; It's
sketcbing," quietly replied Lplu.
Why is 1t, that the man who wbanes
an old copper cent in to the contribution
box generally leans back with y twenty.
dollar look of benevo!ence
The English law sgainst the adultera
tion OF food is 50 strictly enforced that
Of 1l3 samples OF canned goods lately
inspected not one was found to be bad.
Teacher: "What is 40 engineer ?"
Boy No. /: "a man who works an en-
gine." Teacher: What is pioneer p
Boy M. 2: "Tnat man that works Q
piano."
An ex change says that folded news.
psper placed under the coat in the small
OF the back is an excellent substitute for
an overcoat. Now is the time to sub
scribe.
"Flsg socials" are popular at Brad
ford, Pa. At one given last week flags
Of all nations we're displayed, grouped
in regular order around the S.ars and
Stripes.
The people in Northern Mexico are
strongly opposed to the settlement OF
the Mormons in that part OF the country,
and threaten to resist them with powder
and shot.
"Wbat is the matter with the habv p
asked lady of little girl, whose baby
brothe, she had understood to be ailing
"Oh. notbin' much," was the answer.
"He's only batchin' teeth"
A man who had attended the perform-
ance of Hamlet was asked how be
liked it. "Il's good play."' he replied.
swell written. and all that sort of thing.
but it's iull Of old Jokes"
She: II don't like. my bonnet now
that I've got il. 1t doesn't match N,
hair at ALL" He: "You ought to have
thought OF that before you bought IL"
She: "My bonneta" He: mo, your
hair .a~. stf. s ..
A man wrote to scientist that he bad
an apple which he had preserved for
ifly.three wears, and on being requested
to forward Il for Inspection he replied
that he could not, as it was the apple Of
his eye,s
A young houe k'ep,r asks the Nor
ristown Herald how {, keep the juice Of
pies FROM soaking into the uuder crusts.
To which the editor replies: "Oar culi-
nary education is extremely limited, hut
We SHOULD think tuat lining the under
crust with sheet iron would nicely over
come the difficulty. esae teas
Don't take that "cocktail in the morn
ing" II you have "swelled bead, ;"
nausiated stomach, and unstrung nerves
resul,ing from the "convivi.l party last
night" The sure and s1fe way, to clear
the cobwebs from the brain, recover zes'
for food, and tone up the nervous sys-
TEN. is to use DR.. Pierce's pheasant
Puragative Pellets" Sold by all drug.
gists. - AHf
Don't forget to smile! Even a grin
discounts long tace in the worlds eye.
Smile in adversity, dark days; when
your wits ends are wrapped out Of all
shape and your nerves exhausted make
at least a showing. Get the hest foot In
the lead, and then-smie. That cheer
ful smile will secure more aid for You
from others than whining voice and
wry face could ever hope for.
General Mcclellan hal the misfortune
to lose by fire the manuscript Of work
that cost hin years of srduous labor.
When urged to reproduce the manu.
script. after the burning of Morrell's
warehouse where the production
had been LETT, the General said be had
not the heart 20 perform the task over
agaia; and thus. perhaps 10 the serious
Of our historical annals, no
part OF McClellan's records of the war
was ever reproduced. r-ss ..se
Under the Mexican law creditor cao
have debtor arrested on the day when
the debt falls due. The prisoner is
chained to q post Eve days. guarded by
40 officer. At the end Of the time, il
The money is not forthcoming, the man's
labor is sold - the government at 40l
cents day for as many days as will be
necessary to discharge the obligation ,
The miserable debtor 10 sent to the sill
YER mines, where be is chained 10 gang
,f felons, and compelled to work under
,ronnd He alapns nndor uround and 4