davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
Prohibition Department.
ID . y n n y
j. B. JONES.

Last Saturday night near II o'clock,
two Young boys children of two of
our esteemed and respected towns
men, by their boisterous conduct on
the street attracted the attention of
one OF the editors OF this paper who
was ut work in his Office and going
down he found the boys so drunk
they could hardly stand, one trying
to get the other home, the other SO
drunk he did not know the way home,
Near midnight he succeeded in get
ling the two inebriated children to
their respective homes and awakened
the father in each instance to present
to him his drunken boy whom he
thought in bed asleep. 1t was pitiful
TO hear the mothers groan, the faith
er's exclamation Of grief 1t was
painful to see those little boys ell
deavering to pull each other along
thestreet, falling and wallowing in
the dirt, cursing and befouling the
air with filthy words. When or how
their liquor was obtained we .do-.no
know. But this we do know, if there
had been polliqlprin Newportgorgn(
illeginiate traffic III sliquory the sad
shameful incident would not have
occurred
Now, neighbofs, such are Che inau
ences and dangers which SURROUND
your children. This is an exainpl
and the beginning Of 1.-THE shame whicl
at any time may befall them. Thu
Z the destroyer inyatles your home
secretly and takes your childalan
starts him faf on the road to ruiz
This was your neighbor's boy, it ma
be your boy tomorrow tonight, an
yet the rum ficnd laughs in your fac
and says, "what are you going to d
aboutlit?" And neighbor, we ask yo
earnestly, what ARE YOU going to d
abdatitf ifnethipg then upon 70,
head must rest part Of the futul
guilt and shame and ruinoof 70,
neighbor's and Of your own children
Whatthink you Of the man WI
d 4N
will not protect his own family, VIII,
OF the mother WHO'S idle in the mid
OF such dangersY A spasmodic effo
will accomplish but little. StaT4Joar
81 & ~ M IL.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
A Good Word for the Corset.

Rational and irrational dress re-
formers have for a long time been
abusing the fashionable corset. 1t
has been said that corset destroyed
the beauty OF the feminine figure. in
iured the health and for ever reason
ought to go. 1t is true the eloquence
OF the dress reformer made the cor
set Like DIR. Cuny's bullet, the elo-
quence glanced from the corset, and
with the tenacity Of her sex woman
chung to her stays.
Ii there ever was any truth in the
assertions OF the anti-corset dress re-
form the fact that Miss Westcott's cor
set saved her life will weigh more as
an argument in favor OF the corset
than all the philosophy and logic OF
the century. The philosophy may be
true, but there are no may be's about
Miss Westcott's case. And an ounce
of fact is worth ton OF speculation
any time.
1t will be useless to suggest that all
girls who wear corsets and so perhaps
injure their health are not receiving
the attentions Of two or three men
that are mad in love with them
Every experienced young woman will
laugh at such an argument. And
concluding that it is better to be on
the safe side in the matter of lover:
as well rs Of corstts, the sensible
young lady of the future will hold te
her steel stays, no matter what be
comes OF the fellow who is fool enough
to shoot at such rmaments.-Phild
delphia Times.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
Twin Foes to Life

Are Indigestion md Constipation.
Their primary symptoms Gre among the
most distressing of minor human ailments,
and host Of diseases, speedily resultant
from them, mutually uggrayate each other
and assall at once the whole machinery
of life. Nausea, Foul Breath, Sour
Stomach, Dizziness, Headaches,
Bilious Fever, JaHndlce, Dyspepsia,
Kidney Diseases, Piles, Rheurnatisuls
Neuralgia, Dropsy, and various Skin
Disorders, are among the symphonic
and maladles caused by arrangement Of
the stomach and bowels.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
A COWBOY IN A SLEEPING CAR
How He Quieted the Conductor
and Made the Porters
France Around.
France Around,

Where do ] camp" he inquired,
and was shown the lower berth next
to me.
"That's my pigeon-hole, is 1t? All
right old son, just watch my motion
while | file myself away"
At this juncture he was desired to
turn over his revolver to the porter,
which he declined to do in o very
spirited manner.
"tOld Dad (his revolver) and me
always sleep together, and We don't
want no divorce he explained,
The conductor demonstrated, but
was advised not to try to "braid this
mules tail"
"This here's a sleepin' car, amt it2"
he at length inquired.
eyes"
"Well why in--don't you let peo-
pie sleep then when they've paid and
gone into you game? If you're AIM
ing to keep people awake and want
company, just dance into the next
car; there's lots of folks there don't
want to sleep, no how, and they'll be
lglad to see you,p
"a The conductor withdrew and my
Friend pulled off his boots and stretch
ed himself, with many comments in
an undertone on the poverty OF the
surroundings.
In about ten minutes this cratic
person had his head out in the aisle.
"say, you boy" to the porter.
"Well, sah,"
"Come q runnin'."
The porter drew near and was hand
ed pillow about as big as a pin-cush.
ion.
/ TAKE that gooseha'r thing away
commanded the cowboy.
Don't you want a pillow, sahY
asked the porter.
THAT amt no pillow and dom
want it 10 how; I'm afraid it'll get il
my em."
After this, silence, and for shor
! time slept. reused up, however
: at an exclamation on the part of m,
neighbor.
! @Hold on there, my son, jist dral
7 them boots"
! Il was only jest gwine to black 'em
boss"
! "Drap EN-"
7 They drapped.
' "Jest gwine to pull them spurs,
! reckon. Now, don't monkey aroun,
my camp, taking things no more.
+ you want anything speak for il.
you cant speak make signs, and
: you can't make signs shake busl
u You h'ar me?"
ayes, sahp
Q After this silence. The wheels an
y rails again sang together and the ca
again kept approving time and pre-
Is emily ! slept without interruption.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
WAR WETHE RUSSIA!

The war-cloud between the British Lion and
the Northern Bear which only short time ago
threatened to involve all Europe, seems be be dis
appearing. That England believed herself ON
the verge of war with Russia was evident from
the haste with which Gladstone asked the Brit
ish Parliament for an approa riation of ell 600,
600 for war expenses.
Actual conflict would soon scatter among the
people of both countries at teast Ave times this
sum. But, as war mas been pdroitly aYeFted by
England, her ELL, 600, 000 or SJ5000,0OO win not
be needed and consequently the money will
MT De circulated among the 15O,OOOOOo OF peo-
between Great Britain and Russia.
Compared with 100000, the sum required
for one great nation to begin its attack upon q
formidable adversary, the NEW YORK WEEKLY
last YEARLY OUTLAY Of
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10

woman putting ON her stockings on
the street MS putting on her gloves
"Most men would" she said prompt.
ly; and the abashed husband didn't
say another word.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
She Knew the stermer Sex.

Simpson and his wife were on their
way to church and the lady was put
ting on her gloves, MY DEAR" he said
pettishly, you should complete your
toilet At home. I'd Just az soon see a
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10

80 Queen victoria Regina Del Gracia,
and acting mother-inlaw, on the
s;dS y VIZ y VA

+ DANt&. . HfEalT ~ aatlA9
DEAR MADAM-Your most gracious
majesty will no doubt be surprised to
hear from me after my long silence.
One reason that | have not written
for some time is that l had hoped to
see you ere fthis,l and not because /
had grown cold. desire to congrat-
ulate you at this time upon Your
great success ASH mother in law, and
your very exemplary career socially.
Asa queen you have given universal
satisfaction, and your family have
marriedweH.
BUT E.desired more especially to
write you in relation to another mat
ter. We are struggling here in
America to establish an authors in
ternational copyright arrangement,
whereby the authors Of all civilized
nations may beprotectedin their right
tome profits q their literary labor,
and the movement so far has met with
generous encouragement As an au-
thor We desire your aid and endorse
ment. Could you assist us?
We are giving this season series Of
authors readings in New York to aid
in prosecuting the work, and we would
like to know whether we could not
depend upon you to take part in
these readings, rendering selections
from your late work.
/ assure your most gracious majesty
= thatYou gouldpreet some Of our best
literary people while here, and no
pains would be spared to make your
visit pleasant one, aside from the
reading itself We would adverties
your appearance extensively and get
out first-class audience on the occa-
sion Of your debut here.
An effort would be made to provide
passes for yourself, and reduced rates
| think, could be secured for yourself
and suite at the hotels. OF course
you could do as you thought best
about bringing suite, however. Some
Of us travel with our suites and SOM,
do not. generally leave my suite a
home, myself.
You would not need to make an,
special change as TO costume for tn,
occasion. We try to make it informa
so FIR as possible, and though some 0
us wear full dress we do not max
that obligatory on those who take
part in The exercises, II you decid
to wear your every day reigninl
clothes itwillsnot excite comment Of
the part of our litbrati. We do no
judge an author or authoress by his o
her clothes.
You viii readily see that this vii
afford you an opportunilyl to- appea
- - 80 - =
before some Of the best people OF Ne
York, and at the same time you vii
aid in d deserving enterprise.
1t will also promote the sale Of you
book.
Perhaps you may have all the no,
atty you want aside from what yo
may receive from the sale Of your wor
but every author feels a pardonabI
pride in getting his books into ever
housaheld.
would assure your most graciol
majesty that yonr reception here as a
authoress will in no way suffer b
cause you are an unnaturalized fe
eigner ANY alien who feels q fratern
interest il the international advanc
ment II thought and the univers
encouragement Of the gaod, The tr,
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
A Thorough PurQatiVe

medicine Is the first necessity for cure.
Then the cathartic effect must be main
tanned, in mild degree, just sufficient
TO prevent u recurrence OF cOstiyenesE,
and ut the same time the liver, kidneys
and stomach must be stimulated and
Gtrpno1 hpflpd
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
Ayers Pills

Accomplish this restorative work letter
than any other medicine, They are
searching and thorough, yet mild, in their
purgatiye action. They do not grippe the
patient, and do not induce costiye re-
action, as Is the effect of other cathartics.
Withal, they possess special properties,
diuretic, hepatic and tonic, Of the highest
medicinal value and
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10

aas attained standard of excellence which
tdnits Of no superior.
1t contains every Improvement that Inventive
senius, skill md money can produce.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
THE NEW YORK WEEKLY

sent Its thousands of dollars abroad in the In
terest of peace harmony, goodwill, and with
the desire to benefit all mankind who can ap-
preciate
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-09-10
$53.472.62

seems small. Yet this amount of money was
actually paid to contributors, and circulated
among the people, as an equivalent for enter
tanning stories, sketches, etc., that we published
last year.
This sum does not include our large outlay
Tor advertising, printing, and other necessary
expenses. TWAS paid entirely for contributions
dnring the past year. II has been scattered
among thousands OF homes, and has certainly
been OF far more benefit to mankind than would
millions Of treasure expended for war PURPOSES
the making OF widows and orphans, and butch.
ering mankind.
THE NEW YORK WEEKLY
sent It's thousands of dollars abroad In the In.
terest OF peace, harmony, goodwill, and with
the desire to benefit all mankind who can ap-
preciate
A FIRsTcLAss STORY AND SKETCH PAPER
That II has succeeded in entertaining and In
structing Its million of readers, by each week
spreading before them the best Stories, sketch
es, essays and poems, by the ablest authors in
America and Europe, Is universally admitted
Everybody who begins 70 read the NRw YORg
WEEKLY is sure to be so pleased with Il that he
is certain to continue a reader for years II pos
sesscs so many attractive features that It i'm
proves upon acquaintance Man and woman
boy and girl. viii find Il cheereng companion
a soiace for lonely hours, and benefit at all
times,
Old and young read the New YoRK WEEKLY
with pleasure and profit for every line in Il can
be read aloud In the family. no word or nhrase
being admitted which even the most fastidious
would deem offensive to good taste
Every News Agent in the United States and
Canada sells L.
II you are aot convenient to a News Agent,
/ you can get the paper by mail, postage free,
four months for 81; six months for sl.60; one
| year s.. STREET 4 SMITH,
p. O, Box 2.7@s. ~ Rose Street. New York.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
WHIMSICALITIES.

Boston Transcript: The cloud which darkens
a maiden's brow is oftentimes no bigger than a
mans hand.
Dore g. Sill keep drug store in Chicago. The
other day cowboy came in and inquired for
his knobs, the proprietor"
First Of May motto for the owners of furniture
vans:
Let those now move who never moved before,
And those who always more now move the more.
The base ball umpire prepares
Himself against disaster,
And lays in quarts of arnica
And yards of stickingspaster.
Boston Courier.
The grounding slept in his cosy hole
Till he thought that the spring had sprung,
And then from his hidingplace he stole
To expand his congested lung.
But he saw his shadow and he fed
In fright to his dark damp den;
And when other lonesome weeks had sped
He crept to the light again.
But winter sat in the lap of spring
And the ground hog sadly sighed,
For he heard not single robin sing;
So he laid him down and died.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03

officers and thousands of people, but her horse
showed clean pair Of heels and Mazeppa was
saved.
1t is not generally known that the leading
motif Of the charming valse assigned in its en-
Merry War; is the composition of Mrs Jaccby
talented lady amateur Of New York 1T so
happened on one occasion that this lady and
Johann Strauss were passengers on board the
same steamer, and she possessing marvellous
gift OF musical improvisation, was frequently in
the habit of amusing herself at the piano. The
Viennese composer happened to be present when
this delightfully."- dreamy yet piquant valse &C
Cured to her, and he was so struck with it that
he begged permission TO record it in his sketch
book. His request was complied with, and he
afterward presented Mrs. Jacoby with an inter
esting autograph, including the melody in cues
ton and a delicately- worded compliment to the
fair improvisatore. Afterwards he used it in his
opera, of which it forms the most popular num-
beg
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
A Young Lady's Advice.

A young lady. at a party at Bebingtou, the
other night gave the following advice to a ysauz
man in reference to the use of big worlds In
promulgating ycG2 eseter;c cogitations or ar
tisaiiating your superficial sentimentalities and
philosophical, psychological observations, be-
ware of platitudinous ponderosity Let your
conversational communications possess rarifed
concis eness, a compact comprehensibleness, a
coalescent consistency and concatenated CO.
gency. Eschew all conglomerations Of fatulent
garrulity and jejune babblements Let your
extemporaneous descantngs md unpremed-
itated expatiations have intel.igibility psit-
taceous bacinity, ventriloquial verbosty, and
vanioquent rapidity. Shun double entendres
pestiferous profanity, obscurant or apparent
In other words, talk plaialy, briefly, naturally,
sensibly, truthfully, purely. Say what you
mean, mean what you say, and don't use big
words
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
It Makes a Difference.

Texas Strings.
Applicant-"Good morning, Mr.. President
called"
President-'I am not receiving any petitions
this morning."
''But wished To-"
'All applications go to the proper depart
ments.'
81 only wanted to say that"
'It makes no difference. The civilservice-
reform rules must be enforced"
I'm from New York"
"Oh-ah-that alters the case. Why didn't
you say so before7 Sorry all the places in the
Cabinet are filed. Here, Dan, look around and
see if you can't find foreign mission or some
thing of the sort for this gentleman. Sit down,
sir, sit down. Well fix you up pretty soon
Came from New York; once lived in New York
myself
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
A Natural Inference, Perhaps.

San Francisco Chronicle.
There is young lady in town who feels that
she made a mistake She is sweet seventeen
and very girlish cooking. The other day she
met q young gentleman who is rather slim aud
not very imposing in appearance He looks
young, too.
"Oh," she said, ''do please come with me. I
am going to find servant somewhere on Minna
street 1 wish you would accompany me, for /
don't know where i have to 60"
He was only too glad, and between them they
discovered the house where the servant girl was
to be found They were ushered into the parlor,
and presently stout, buxom Irishwoman APP
peared.
"You are the woman who wants situation?'
Eyes, miss
''Well cur family is very small There are
only three
The Irishwoman gazed at the girlish figure
and at sher slim young gentleman twirling his
hat in his hands.
.T,fae begorra! And how old might the
baby r
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
Betting for Church Purposes.

New York Sun.
Brown Ito minister Mr. r. Smith and I were
talking about the possibility of cholera this sum-
mer, and / bet him 5000 that we wouldn't have it.
Do you think am likely to win the
Minister mortified My dear sir, am
shocked at the idea Of You and Mr. Smith max
ing bet. It is SINFUL and bad in every
Brown-Tne one who wirs is to put stained
glass memorial window in the church, and
Minister-You bet that the cholera won't
comet
Brownies. sir.
Brown.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
1T Strengthens the Calves.
Boston COurit

Boston Courier.
II do not-aw-see," said he, as he withdrew
the head of his cane from his mouth, "why there
should be so much objection to-aw-roller
skating; it is harmless amusement"
Some physicians say it is injurious to the
health she observed, as she piled her crochet
needle.
perhaps so, he rejoined, ''but-aw-they all
seem to agree in the opinion that, here he
blushed slightly" that-aw-it strengthens the
calves"
''Ah indeed she said with an arch smile; do
you feel any stronger since you began to skate?"
He is still wondering what she meant by put
ting her question in that form.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
A Sound Sleeper or a Big Liar.

Dublin IImeS
One Andalusian said to another: ~ say mate
l must have dropped off to sleep all of sudden
last night, for when l awoke this morning |
found nay hand on my forehead just as l left it
when signing the cross on lying down." 'Why,
man, that's nothing I'll tell you what once hap
pened to me. One morning as l awoke found
myself resting with my hands on the bed and
II must have gone to sleep in the act Of jump
ing into bed"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03

Light cakes for breakfast or tea are made Of
one quart of sweet milk. three eggs. beaten sepa-
rately and very light, piece of butter the size
Of an egg three coffee cups of four little salt.
three teaspoonfuls of baking powder Put the
whites OF the eggs in last. and bake in gem pans
in a hot oven.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
The MOnopolist.


'.Nellie let's you and I play inventor"
"How shall we do it, Tommyl"
''Why, you be the inventor, and go in and get
some cookies out of the box and I'll be the capt.
talist and come along and eat them ALL"
But what will get out of it,"
''Why, you'll get all the fame. I'll tell mamma
it was you who took the cookies"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
Experienced.

Carl Pretzel's Weekly.
II understand you want coachman," said a
young man, applying at the door of gentle
mans residence on Michigan avenue.
''How much experience have you hadg' asked
the gentleman.
Three
'"Three what?"
'"Three elopementsn
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
THE AMUSEMENT WORLD.
Attractions To Be offered This Week at
the Local Theaters and the Museum.
A New Scheme Projected by ]. II. Hayerly-
The Movements of Actors, and Notes of
Interest to the Profession and Public.

The attraction offered by the Grand Opera
house management for the first four nights of
the week is the Old World Gem Company
high-class vaudeville combination. The special
ties and features embraced in this show are the
Edelweiss mountain choir, in Tyrolean selections;
Miss Ada Luarant, claimed to be the finest
danseuse on the stage; Mr.. Patrick Young, from
the London halls; Fitz and Webster, Jagua-
rino, a swordsman of rare skill; the Herbert
brothers, athletes; Flemiss art groupings, ar
ranged after the Greek, and Miss Marie Lotus,
a London singer Of reputation. ht
Little Nugget" comedy-drama under the
management of Castle and Sisson, will hold the
boards of English's the entire week. Several
well-known speciality people are in the cast.
THE THOMAS CONCERN.
The musical event Of the season will be the
grand concert. on Tuesday, May IL, at Englishs.
by Theodore Thomas and orchestra and assisted
by Madame Fursch-Madi. soprano Miss Emma
Juch, soprano; Miss Hattie J. Chopper, contralto;
William Winch, tenor, and Max HEINRICH bass
The scale of prices will range from So to lesser
priced seats. The advance sale will be an
nounced i'll the near future
THE DIME MUSEUM
FOE tuo week opening CO-mCTTOW dICeruOOu
the following attractions have been engaged:
Eli Bowen, the man with perfectly developed
feet and no legs, who runs, walks or skates; the
wonders of music, the Hoon children; the marvel
of mechanism, the walking and running steam
man, made entirely of steel-one of the princi-
pal features of the New CLEANS exposition; Sit
ting Bulls daughter, Princess Pochahontas. the
Indian Venus Mons. Leon, the Mexican Her
cules, and the great illusion, the three headed
songstress. The stage show, in the theatorium
will be given by the Joseph HI. Keane "Mrs
Partington" Comedy Company. The company
numbers, besides Mr. Keane, Miss Minnie ks
sell of this city.
HAvERLY AND sACKETT TO HAVE CIRCUS.
An enterprise of some considerable magnitude
was consummated in the city last week. Colonel
j. H. Haverly and Manager Sackett, of this city,
forming copartnership to engage in the circus
business for next season. Colonel Hayerly is
rapidly regaining his foothold in theatricals
as a manager Of the first magnitude
and the transaction between him and Mr.
Sackett is an indication of further great enter
prises. The circus and menagerie will be one of
the largest and most complete ever put on the
road, and will embrace many new novelties, the
invention of Mr.. Sackett Mr.. Haverly, in con-
versation with the Journal man, also spoke of
several other enterprises which he intends to
spring on the public and which were given in
confidence. The circus will he organized and
start from here, and will bring large amount
of money to the city.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-03
A George Eliot Glossary.
New York Times.

New York Times.
1t is probable that during mis- scjourn In Ire
land the Prince of Wales has found out what
George Eliot meant by dynamic glancea"