davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
Aristocratic Amusements.



A curious light is thrown the insane crav-
ing for new forms of excitement in the fact that
several aristocrats of ancient lineage and great
wealth have built private circuses for the exhi-
bition of their own feats and the amusement of
their friends. A well-known marchioness re-
Gently delighted whole bevy of beauty and
agility with which she jumped through the
hoops, while the Duke de la Rechefoucauld has
established a great reputation as performer on
the trapeze. The last person who has developed
the circus craze is the heir of Monsieur Menier
who made all his money in chocolate. Another
novel amusement in the near future will be
races with balloons. when the many machines
that profess to pilot aerial navigation will be
put to public test
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
The Office Cat.

A very good thing for newspaper shop,
Where copy by bushels comes in,
And only quick hands can keep up with the crop,
Or tell at which end to begin;
And where the best heads must grow weary at times
SO bothered by this and by that,
Is an excellent Office cat
A capable knowing and quite thoroughgoing,
Responsible Office Cat.
This businesslik cat in It's feline way,
So silently wanders about
Absorbing in quiet, by night or by day,
All copy that lies under doubt;
And so bosh by the yard becomes lost to the sight
And many bore is laid fat
BY this sensible Office cat
This useful, laborous never uproarious,
Efficient old Office cat.
The editor missing some bothersome thing,
No longer the subject pursues,
But strokes the slick cat she sits at his side,
With smile that is meant to amuse;
His conscience is clear, and his labor is saved,
And be sure he will never say ''Scat!"
To that beauteous old Office cat
That careful Industrious highly illustrious,
Truly good old Office cat.
New York Sun.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
The Fate of a Funny Man.

Pittsburg acknowledgement.
Gold weather. said the sly old cockroach,
rubbing his hands as he entered the Office the
other day Flows paste2"
''What do know about pastor Indignantly
exclaimed the phony man.
''Beg pardon. No harm indeed. didn't
know but you might have bite, though know
you never use it by the lcok of what you write.
BY the way you didn't know the funny man who
was here afore your
''No. What became of himT
popular preacher out West"
''PreacherI
'sYes. He wrote the funniest joke of his life
AL the religious journals copied it, and it was
printed in the Sunday school papers. Gentleman
in Sewickley had it read at the grave of his
motherin-law. The preachers up in Tarentum
used it while passing the contribution box.
Smart fellow, that funny man. He saw his
opening, went West, became great birthstone
preacher, and married plumbers widow
There's tip for you!" And the old cockroach
winked viciousy and said he'd go down Fifth
avenue and get some paste. He had been
drinking
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
What ItTs-What It Dnaa.

Hoods Sarsaparilla is made of sarsaparilla
dandelion, mandrake, cherry bark IVA urs
dock. and other valuable medicinal agents long
and favorably known for their power in eradi.
eating disease and purifying the blood It will
cure, when in the power of medicine scrofula
salt rheum, dyspepsia, headache, constipation,
kidney complaint, catarrh, female weakness,
cancerous humors, humors of the face, ring.
worm, pimples, ulcers, sores, tumors scaid
head and all diseases arising from an impure
state or low condition of the blood Hoods Sar-
saparilla IS made by G. l. Hood g. Co, Lowell
Mass Sold by all druggists; 81, six for S..
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
WONIEN'S ARMS.
a school Needed for Teaching the Art of
Gesticulation.

Clara Bellies Letter.
The most beautiful girl on the American stage
today is Pauline Hall. That is my opnion and
when also present it as the naked truth you
will agree with me il ever you have seen her in
Abe brevary condition of drapery common to
burlesoue She has a lovely, od-humored
face and faltless form, except that her hands
and feet are somewhat too generous. They
make mistake in their mode of using her,
however, for she ought not to be allowed to stir
while in sight of the audience, for she is as
awkward as a cow with the blind staggers. Her
movements are heavy and labored, and have
often felt like suggesting to the manager the
expediency of strewing torpedoes along her
track on the stage so that a series of explosions
might enliven her footsteps. But she is
an enhancing creature, and the dudes in the
front rews have to be strapped to their chairs to
keep them from sliding down OH their knees be-
fore her. What mentioned her for was to de-
scribe her queer system of gesticulation She
has been taught since her debut to use a uat,Ir-
ally good voice with some skill, but l fancy that
the motions with which she accompanies her
vocalism are of her own invention You NAV
have observed the painfully mechanical gestures
with which the serio-comic girl of the variety
shows is usually afflicted WE'LL she is spon-
taneity itself compared with the automatic
gyrations of Paulines arms They are q per-
feet pair, and / don't blame her for
uncovering them to the tip tops of her shout
aers; but their series or extensions, weavings,
self-huggings, and prayerclaspings, repeated
.AoE every NtTeO Vi long song, WITHOUT
khe faintest shadow of variation, is the
most curious thing in current amusements. The
other evening she inadvertely started in with a
gesture which belonged in the middle of astanza.
She was so completely upset that she broke
down entirely, and had to begin over again. like
vocalist who has got SO badly out of tune that
disaster is inevitable.
When we consider how artfully and effectively
p,ost actresses employ their arms, l wonder that
the bellies of society do not acquire the same nc
he
remain as useless as our lower ones, so far as
ersticulaticn is concerned, and recall only one
girl among my acquaintance who displays her
arms for all they are worth. AS seen at an
oIrra or ball, they are not the insensate things
commonly seen, but are animate helpful ap-
pendages, taking their active and graceful part
In her movements and conversation. Let some
Sody open school of arms for girls
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
Why the English Go to the seashore In
Winter.

WINTER
Olive Logan, in Philadelphia Times.
find that many people in America think it
so strange that we in England should like to 60
TO the seaside in winter and wonder how it is
that the Queen should seek her marine residence
at Christmas time These persons who SO won
der are not familiar with the British climate, and
think because there are ice and snow in New
York and Philadelphia, the same conditions
must prevail here. They make their climatic
calculations without bringing in that important
factor, the Gulf stream. By the aid of this
obligiag body of water the temperature of the
south coastof Britain Is simply delightful during
the winter months, and as for the Isle of Wight,
where the Queen goes it is Italy with sanitary
mprovements-nothing more nor less. The
fogs which are apt to make life vexation in
London, at or near this season, are unknown on
the coast and often when it is dark as pitch at
monday in London we US and company jump
into the archaeological Pullman train and in an
hour are on the Kings road at Brighton with
the sun shining brilliantly over heads, the
blue waves dashing at our feet. the sea dotted
with pleasure craft, little German bands tinkle-
footing the latest American Importation, Wait
Till the Clouds Roll By or some other sugary
sentimentalisEi in our ears, and the whole of tho
June procession Of Hyde Park and Piecadilly
fashionables elbowing us as we move through
the crowd
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
Cape Coats for Young Men Who Are Not
COachmen.

Cape Goats for Young Men Who Are Not
COachmen.
Philadelphia Times.
A tall, straight young man, wearing cherry
colored cloth coat, with a cape of like material
over his shoulders, created much comment on
Chestnut street, yesterday. A fashionable tailor
who was asked about the cape coat, said:
ut is quite true that the cape coat is again
becoming fashionable garment for gentlemen.
Here are some plates of the proper styles. The
cloak is not fastened to the coat but fits snugly
about the neck and is fastened in front Several
colors, including bright shades of green, red,
blue and saffron, will be used. The cape coat is
at present distinctively fashionable in New York
and Washington. 1t can be worn on all occa-
sions. and is especially convenient for the thea
ter, the cape being easily thrown over dress
suit upon going out between acts. We are now
making cape coats for two or three fashionable
Young men,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
..I Care Not for Fortune. j"

IL Fortune smiles on me to-day,
And woos me in her gentle way,
Begpne, dull caro- and sorrowl
I'll hob and mob in royal ease,
And drain my goblet to the lees
What care for the morrow'
IF wanton Fate should push away
The gadabout why bid her stayi
I'd grieve not-no, nor sorrow.
The skies may frown, the sun may shine,
puff my pipe and sip my wine,
If deep in debt, borrow.
H " g. in Yd
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
Saving the Lawyers.

''The first thing we do let's kill all the law
yers." This is rather a bloodthirsty proposition,
which we modify by offering to cure this worthy
class Of people. Most Of them suffer Tin com
mon with nearly all others of sedentary habits),
from the injurious effects of dyspepsia, indiges-
ton, piles, loss of appetite, and other ailments
caused by a constipated habit of the body. DIR.
Pierces Pleasant Purgative Pellets" eradicate
all these disorders in promptly removing the
cause thereof, and induce rare degree Of com.
fort and health.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
A Great Legislative Mind.

BOsLon Budget.
Bob Poison was a great legislator. He did
not understand parliamentary law quite as
well as some people, for once, when called to the
chair, during warm discussion, he took off his
coat and joined in the debate Shortly after his
arrival Poison was appointed member Of the
judiciary committee.
Bob" said the chairman Of the committee,
don't 60 away to night We want you to help
us frame dog law"
"Heip frame it, why, hang it, man. I don't
need no help, am as good carpenter as there
is in the State, and can make a frame that
would tickle President. What kinder wood do
you want!H
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10

STRONG points about Mishler's Herb Bitters
are so numerous that it is no wonder 1t has
taken a front rank among the household rem
edies and absolutely deies competition. 1t
cures kidney troubles, liver complaints, dyspep-
STA, and all bowel disorders, supplies tone TO the
stomach reinvigorates the digestive organs.
stimulates the secretions, promotes regular ac-
ton of the bowels and enables every ofga1 OF
the body to perform its allotted work
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
A Solid MuldOOn,
"A
Boston Herald.

Lord Tollemache is landlord whom many of
his countrymen among the landed gentry of
England might be inclined to envy nowadays.
He has not a farm on band, nor is there shil-
ling of rent IN arrears his estate. He has
expended $3.50, 900 in building between sixty and
seventy model dairy farms and homesteads. He
has also built several hundreds of model cot
tages for the laborers, and most of them have
few acres of land attached which Is let at a very
low rent, so that the men are enabled to keep
cnWs
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
Pumped Dry.

Hartford Evening Post.
There had been some illness In the family
and when kind hearted but inquisitive neigh
Dor asked Johnny who had been SICK he prompt
ly answered:
'Oh. it's my brother, that's all /"
what was the matter with himp
Muffin, only he was just sick"
81 know but what allied hiIn2'
'Oh, dunno"
s'What did he have7"
HE had the doctor"
That closed the inquisition.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10

HE.
I'dlike a kith.
My pretty NTH,
Becauth kith ith thweet.
Thay, do you know
That lritheth grow
Where ipth Of loverth meet
SITE.
Oh, yeth, / know
Where kitheth grow,
Without your limiting lookth;
Becautb, you thee.
TIE he! to hel
] read Of it in bookth.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
How Jones Went Out of Business.

How Jones Went Out of Business.
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
"Where's Joneslr
''Dead"
''Deadl Well, declare! Paid the debt of No
ture, heyT
No; compromised at less than 80 per cent"
Elbow soqs
'sHe left his better half behind him."
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10

IL the testimony OF eminent chemists and ga
gacious medical men is of any value, DIR. Prices
Cream Baking Powder 10 the most perfect made
These men or standing in their professions not
only recommended its use bat indorse its per-
Get purity, excellence and wholesomeness by
Islag 1t in their own families.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
The Hand She Held.

She held my heart in q willing thrill,
She held my ring on her finger small
She held my respect, this maiden young,
And she also knew when to hold her tongue.
Boston CourieE.
She held mortgage on my life.
She held besides fat, cash plum,
She held our private residence,
She held me underneath her thumb.
Merchant Traveler.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
A New Sensation.

Her cheeks are flashed, her eyes are va
She heaves gentle sigh.
Her hair is mussed, she scarce knows yet
What's bestt--o laugh or cry.
What makes her blush and trenbIe 30
With mingled Joy and fright
The first time in his life her beau
Has kissed her sweet goodnight.
Boston Journa
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-10
With the Baldheads.

Arkansas Traveller.
Always face the naked truth, my SOM
'All right, father. Shall do it by going tR
see the new burlesque?"
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-06-07
Personal.

Hamilton Cole, the New York lawyer
who bought copy of the Guttenbure
Bible for 81, 900 at the Brinley sale in
1881, has just sold it for $4,000.
Russell Sage, the financier, has had
experience in politics, having served as
mayor of Troy, N. Y, for seven years
and in the House Of Representatives al
Washington from 1853 to 1857.
Mrs. Ole Bull and family will con-
tinue to live for another year in Mr.,
Lowell's house at Cambridge, Mass,
They have been his tenants during most
of the period he has been absent as Min
lister to England.
Prince Albert Victor, Of Wales, will
be presented with the freedom Of the
city Of London and fsted in Guild Hall
on the Goth Of this month.
Princess Beatrice has received from
the Isle of Wight Bee-keepers' Asso-
citation, of which she is president, a
wedding present in the form Of silver
bee whose back and wings are studded
with diamonds.
A daughter Of General Kearney is a
fayorite in Washington. She is tall,
attractive blonde, with willowy figure,
and is modest enough to drive daily in
an unpretentious dog-cart.
Dorothy Dene is the name of a new
London beauty who promises to become
a rival of Mary Anderson and Mrs.
Langtry. She is said to be very beau.
tiful, though still quite young.
Ex-senator Robert Tombs is almost
totally blind. Other hands now pen
his letters, and he realizes that for him
there is but little left Of life. The in.
evitable he meekly bows to accept.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-06-07
sp,rtt Of the state Press.

Salem Conserratire-De Democrat The
Democratic party accepted and pledged
itself to support the present settlement
Of the debt, and by the terms OF that
settlement they are willing to abide.
Lynchburg Virginian: The present
Executive has not only shown that he
is thoroughly honest in his intentions,
but that he is, in addition, a strong
man, who in three short months has
made his impress upon the Govern
ment as no other President in modern
times has done, thus giving assurance
to the people that they are to have an
upright, able, and judicious admins
tration of public affairs, conducted
upon business principles Of strictest
integrity.
Lynchburg Neps:: Twenty-four years.
occupancy of the Offices ought to satisfy
their cravings for pap. As their days
will be few at best they might make a
virtue Of necessity by anticipating the
act of ejectment and stepping down and
out Of their own motion.
Abingdon Standard: Instead Of the
Administration losing, it will gain in
fuence by showing that it has the will
to do its whole duty, and the Demo-
cratic party can suffer no loss ofstrength
because of the removal of those who
are unfit to bold Office.
Norfolk Virginian While he MA
hone) can never regain the power he
once exercised in this State, he still re-
mains dangerous foe, fertile in those
peculiar expedients which have caused
him to give the Democrats so much
trouble in the past. At present he is
checkmated, but he will bear watching
in the future.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-06-07
A snake Nine Feet Long.

A Starrucca penny special SAYS :
A snake such as was never seen before
in this region was killed a few days ago
by Jay Webb and Constable William
Wilmarth, of Thompson, Susquehanna
county, near this place. The snake is
nine feet long and seven inches in di-
ameter, with a peculiar fiat head.
Around the neck is . circle Of short
stiff hairs. The color Of the serpent is
brown, with red bands about the body
at Intervals Of few inches. The snake
was discovered on James Fosters farm
by Mrs. Webb, Mrs. Vale, and Mrs.
Thompson, who were gathering greens.
1t was lying at the foot Of small
ledge and had newly-born lamb about
half-swallowed. The frightened women
ran to Webb's house and told what they
had seen. Webb and Wilmarth went
to the spot, and finding the snake help
less from gorging, killed it with fence
stake. They dragged it home, and it
now hangs on Webb's barn door, an
object of much wonder and curiosity
to the entire neighborhood.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-06-07

he eerth q getting dry. II your plant
i EXPOSED TO the sun and . draft Of air
II viii dry very soon and may need
water every day. II grown in partial
shade. or IL the sky is clouded, it
NAV not require water for several
DAYS. Whenever the room ia swept the
furniture Of course is busted. Plants
require TO be kept as free from dust as
furniture. They should be kept clean,
and the leaves should be washed when
ever they become dust ladea. For
washing the leaves use q soft sponge
and CASTLE soap. The insects that in
fest plants arc the green aphis,
commonly called the plant louise,
the red spider, and the mealy-
bug. With continuous use of
soap and water there will be very little
trouble from any insect, but II any Of
them have found logdment on the
pets, buy q preparation called Gis-
hurst's compound, make suds, wash
the plants. and the insects will disap-
pear. Soft-wooded and soft-leayed
plants are very unsatisfactory for
house culture. Among the very best
are those that have smooth and glossy
leaves. Among those that can, be
recommended are aspidestra luri-
da, apidestra lurida, variegsted; curcu-
ligo, recurvata, drac@ns, terminals,
the India-rubber tree lfcus elastica),
and among the palms, satama borbo-
MICA, areca lutescens, areca yerschafelti.
any Of the palmettos, and the most
beautiful of all the palms in a young
state, cocos weddeliana.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-06-07

Victor Hugo is said 10 have owned
only one piece Of ground in Paris, and
that was purchased recently. II is
situated on the avenue which bears his
name, and he intended soon to erect a
house on it. II is covered with trees
and has bright patch Of lawn. Hugo's
fortune was invested in personal securi-
tiles, and chiefly in Belgian National
Bank shares, English consols, and
French rentes. The entire fortune is
estimated at something over 1900, 000f.
The matter-of-fact statistician has
gone so far ss to collect data and
figures about American Jokes. For
instance, be shows that the stovepipe
joke, which brought out SS, para
graphs during the year 1865, had in
twenty years fallen 70 only $50 para
graphs per year, while for the 1--WE
meaths Of the present year only IL
have been perpstrated. Here are some
Of the figures for last year Mother
in-law joke, 4,9S7 paragraphs; dude,
5,649; big hat at the thea
stre, 1852; clearinghouse hash,
S,ll2; Chicago girls feet, s,l25; sdi.
tor and poet, ,265 plumber, 0,S7l,
and last, and by Ill odds greatest, the
skating rink. 2l4,S6s paragraphs. Du-
ring the present year sll Of these iig-
uyes show an immense falling Of. in
many cases IS great as rs per cent,
from which fact the statistician. true to
his instinct, argues the decsdence Of
American humor and tho falling OF in
the number Of humorists.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-06-07
why He was Retired.
washington Capital,l

One Of the heads Of division, whose
resignation was asked for during the
week, went on Friday to see Secretary
Manning with a view of getting some
mitigation of his sentence. He was re-
ceived with much kindness by the Sec
rotary, who asked him if he had not all
along anticipated removal when Dem
ocratic Administrator should come in.
"Ireally cannot see, said the Secretary,
show you could expect anything else"
The Republican official demurred to
this, and said that he had faithfully per-
formed his duties, was not politician,
and no one had complained Of him.
"Well, now, as to that" said the Sec
rotary, 81 will let you be the judge
yourself. Here are pile of letters
which l have received from people in
your district. Read them over
and let me know if you think Demo
cratic secretary ought to be blamed fol
asking you to give way for a Demo
crat." The ex-bureau chief read over
the letters with amazement. His sins
rose up in judgment against him. lie
was pronounced by the writers to bt
"red hot" in his politics a frequent
correspondent of Republican newspa'
pers, extracts from his letters being
appended his journeys home at cleo
tion-time were noted; reports of his
speeches at town meetings were
given, and his immediate re
moval was demanded as the only thing
that would pscify his Democratic neigh
bors. When he had got through Will
the batch Of letters he handed then
back to the Secretary. 81 haven't an
other word to say" said he. "lf
were in your place ! would do just a
you do. j am sorry ! troubled you
l am an offensive partisan, but In
blessed if l knew ii until now"