The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-07-09

more white thieves, and steal all they have,
and maybe they will be pacified.
A doggery-in which the keeper had been in
the habit of sleeping was burned in Coshocton
County. few nights ago. but unfortunately
the fellow away that night. But the
fire will get him yet.
The Com mercial G zette is making vigorous
campaign-aganst the Prohibitionists That
is just the way to bring that little party into
promi ence. Let them alone-ignore them, or
you will wish you had done so.
u S Minister Phelps appeared at a recent Re-
ception given by Lord Salisbury, "without a
single diamond in sight, and dressed plainly"
That's right! That's just the way we should
have appeared, ourself
Fifteen horse-thieves have been hung by Wig
ilance committees in Texas, within two weeks.
Keep this rate up until the next Preside ntial
election, and the vote of that State will be CIV
en- to the Republican candidate.
The Dayton Democrat calls for the Democra-
cy to nominate for the Legislature "only men
whose hands are clean.'' Then the best thing
would be TO come over and endorse the Repub
lican nominations.
The Democratic managers of the Ohio Peni-
tentiary accused by outside dealers, of So
liciting orders for convict manufactures at such
low rates to be ruinous to free labor. That
is the way they make the times better.
The Democratic laboring man who listened
to the howl of the demagogue and 1oafer on
stump last fall and voted for change, now
wishes that he had money enough to hire some
little school-boy to kick him.
The Commercial Gazette says ''what England
needs in Egypt is the policy of sticking" There
has been little too much sticki g done there
already for English comfort. But most of it
has been done by The Mahdi's spears.
Two lawyers at ST. Joseph, No, came togeth-
er, one having knife ana the other a revolver.
Though an interested public gave them every
opportunity, they couldn't kill each other. One
shot, and what do you suppose was the
cause of il? Simply that he had compelled the
other to sign statement that he CHE signer)
ought to have been kicked.
Vice President Hendricks went bathing at
Philadelphia, one day last week, appearing in
a dress-suit, and wading in up TO his kneSs.
when he promptly returned to the shore. His
friends thought it strange that he dId not go in
all over but it is something for a Democrat
even to get his feet in the water.
Mrs. Rein Hammond, of indianapolis, pro-
cured divorce on the ground of drunkenness
and cruel treatment on the part of her husband.
H would drink hall gallon of whisky at one
lime Ugh! We would have asked for di-
vorce, too. A fellow who could not extract joy
enough out of a quart, or three pints, at one
drink, ought not 10 have wife. He's hog.
The Gallipolis Bulletin attempts to excuse
Lamar for lowering the flag at the death of
Jake Thomp>oD, by stating that old Jake's PFC
ture has been hanging in the Secretary's office
for years. But that is not token of adm1ra-
tion A man might have the portrait of any
desperate character hanging in public place
but it uld be there curiosity, not as an
object of admiration.
Mr.. Thomas O'Shea, of Brooklyn, appeared
at Police headquarters with the statement that
he had beaten his wife's brains out with
hatchet, but he drunk and didn't know
what he doing and of course wanted them
to excuse his little playfuIness-doubtless on
account of his family.
The Democratic politicians used to long for
failure in the crops. or panic that they might
arouse their followers to a vigorous campaign
against the Republicans. Now they have
small-siztd panic, failure of the crops, and
Democratic administration, and are firmly con-
it,"
The want of intellectual appreciation is man
ifest to the greatest extent in the street loafer.
The ministry may cry fire! ~ for a year at
time, and he will not arise from his box to go
and learn anything about it-but let small
boy yell "fire!" in the street, and he bounces
and brushes the splinters from himself in
moment.
The boys tell joke on an old man who was
struck in the fuss near the depot a few nights
ago. By some means his finger was scraiched,
making slight wound. After the assault on
Caspar, the old man went to where Caspar was
and exhibiting his finger remarked, as he laid
down beside Caspar: 'I've been shot-I'm goin'
to die with vel!
Here is story, given as the literal truth,
which an astonished public should disprove at
once AT Teachers Examination in an ad-
Joining County, he word Derrick" was given
among the questions in Orthography, with the
request to spell and define. This question came
TO young lady who spelled it correctly, and
defined it as ''a male cow!' She thought from
the sound of the word that it applied to Dali
ry This is worse than original Irish bull.
There was quite an excitement in Cincinnati
last week over "a shower of fish" Live min
nows We're wrgging in the street after
heavy shower, and large nuInhefS or people
congregated TO see them. But wicked news
paper reporter spoiled the sensation by ascer-
tanning the facts. A small boy had thrown the
minnows out of basin because he thought
they were dead. Thus "a wonderful Scientific
problem was presented to the Cincinnatians by
a small boy and wash-pan.
A mum Der of lawy ers and officers Were few
days ago recounting their experience in JUS
| tice's Courts in this County, and among others
| told this:
Two men were arrested for drunk enness, on
| the complaint of one man. The prosecuting
witness swore positively before the Squire that
| he saw the two drunk. TIE two defendants
| swore that Ihey Were sober. The Justice, in de-
| Gliding the case, remarked that the preponder-
| auce of testimony with the de endants and
"I'll have t. discharge you, though know you
were drunk, for 1 saw you myself"
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