davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1885-10-02
= II =

= u =
SOUTHERN KANSAS
RAILWAY COMPANY,
To Short Line From Kansas Cit,
TO
The Fertile Valley
OF THE
ELK. NEOSHO AND
ARKANSAS RIVERS
SOUTHERN KANSAS
AND THE
INDIAN TERRITORY.
Trains leave Kansas City. 1905 am. daily
except Sunday, for
OI.ATHE, OTTOWA. BURLINGTON,
| GARNETTE, lola. HUMBOLDT,
CHANUTE, ERIE, WALNUT,
GIRARD, CHEnRYvALE.
COFFEYyILLE, IN
DEPENDENCE.
WINFIELD,
WELLINGTON AND INTDTERME DIATE
STATIONS,
AS p. IN. Daily, Except Sunday for
OLATHE GARDNER. EDGERTON..
WELLSVILLE, LIE R0UPE
AND OTTOWA
ri 1900 p. IN Daily for
! lOLATHE, OTTAWA. GRNETT
lola. HUMBCLT, CHANUTE'
. CHERRYVALE, INDIE
PENDENCE,- WIN
FIELD WELL
INGTON,
ARGONIA, HARPER AND ATTICA,
Pullman Palace Cars on all night trains.
r. The country tributary to this line affords
unprecedented advantages to home seekers
on account Of its rare fertility, mild climate
also its close proximity and direct connee
IS, ton with the great commercial centers Of
the Missouri valley and the markets of the
far west.
The western extension Of this road has lust
opened to immigration and settlement the
vast trsck Of productive land lying In Bar
= bour, Comanche, Pratt Kingman, Clarke and
=, and Mercer counties, where government land
\ can be bought and home secured at sl,25
per acre.
Ask your ticket agent for round trip
land explorers ticket to Independence, Kan
sss. Parties purchasing these tickets can, il
they wish, on arrival at Kansas City. by call
ing upon NJ. H. z. Moss, ticket agentOn the
Southern Kansas Railway, opposite the brick
~ depot, purchase extension tickets 10 points
y west OF Undergraduate st reduced rates.
u Index map Of Kansas" and copies Of the
Southern Kansas" furnished free upon ap-
plication.
S. B. HYNES,
General Passenger Agent.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1885-10-02
THE INVALID

VIII find the Wabash the most convenient
route to all the noted health resorts Of
Illinois, Missouri. Arkansas and Texas, and
that the extensive through car system and
superior accommodations OF this popular
line will add greatly to his comfort while en-
route. Pamphlet descriptive of the many
celebrated mineral springs OF the West and
South sent free ON annlicatinn. -
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1885-10-02
TIE CAPITALIST

TEE CAfIT AIAoI
Can get the informs ton nect--"-'- 20 secure
safe and profitable inyestnic "gricAl-
ture, stock-raising, miDipc ng, or
any OF the many inviting I. Hghort
the South and West, by addi nc IN
dersigned.
F. CuANF.'.-
General Passenger and Titl.' ,ais, 10.
IiiNOlS- I0pv& Il
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25
Two Thoughts of House Owner.

Deacon White (who is property
owner and runs a real estate agency
Good morning, Deacon Black"
Deacon Black-"Good morning.
/ thought would drop in and ask
how you liked the new minister yes
terday. Fine sermon, wasn't it?"
ID. W.-"Excellent. Never heard
a better one. He is very eloquent
man and is very happy in the selec-
ton of his subjects"
ID. B.-"Remarkably so. Sermons
on subjects that touch the sympathies
are better for us all than the discus
sion of points of doctrine"
ID. W.-"Certainly. What could
be happier than his subject yesterday /:
Suffer little children to come unto
me-? How tenderly he spoke of the
little ones l declare it melted my
heart to hear him"
(Enter lady who has business with
Deacon W.
ID. W.-"Well, ma'am, what can /
do for you!"
Lady-"Have you got any houses
to let ?"
ID. W.-"Yes'm."
LII am looking round to find a
good house at reasonable rent"
ID. W.-"Have you any children p
L.-"Yes."
ID. W.-"Then l can't let you have
a house Don't want any children
in my houses"
Lady takes her leave and the dea'
cons resume their conversation OH the
sermon.-Boston Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Talkin' bout my mudder, sab.
Yes, sab, he's been slanderin' her all
ober town. He's dun got to take it
back or I'll bore him."
81 guess we'll go over"
GAIL right, sah."
Five or six of us followed him into
the barber shop. Peters was shaving
a white man, and he looked up and
said
boy, what you doin' wild dat ole
shootin'- iron ?"
"Gwine ter bore ye" replied Sam.
"What fur?"
"Kase you has bin lyin' bout de
ole woman"
"Shoo: You jist wait !"
ooh, I'll wait! amt de pusson
to put Il white gem'lan out. Arter
that gem'lan leaves de char you want
TO look out 1ur me
Mr.. Peters finished shaving the
man, who did not even turn his eyes
toward Sam, and then powdered his
face and combed his hair. Sam sat
there with the revolver on his leg,
cool as ice, but just before Bill re-
moved the towel from the mans
throat, he said
"Boy, you go home" !"
"Who you talking to?' asked
Sam.
''To you, sab Pze got right to
talk to YOU"
"How ?"
"Kase Pze yer step-fadder. !
mar'd yer mudder more II two hours
ago. Dat makes you my step-son,
sab, an if you don't yut up dat shot
er an git out O dis I'll wollop We
widin two inches of yer lifel'
"Hoo! You've dun mar'd ma 2"
"Yes, sab"
"An' You've my step.fadder ?"
"Cose | is. Now you make tracks
fur dat wood pile behind the house
an when dinner am ready you come
down heah an call yeur pa !"
Sam laid the revolver on chair
and walked out without another
word, so humbled that his feet drag
ged on the gravel as he went of
down the walk.
"Come around heah to shoot hi;
step-fadder !" growled Peters. "Why
dat boy hain't got no sense tall
Next p-Free Press !"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25
One Eve on it.

An eminent citizen of Detroit call
ed upon an eminent physician the
other day to consult him about his
eyes.
"They seemed all fight up to three
or four days ago." said the eminent
citizen, "but then | noticed that the
left one was failing"
"Do you wear glasses ?" asked the
physician.
"Oh, yes"
"Let me see them ?"
They were passed over, and after a
brief inspection the physician burst
into hearty laugh.
"The trouble is with the left eye,
ell ?" he queried.
"Yes, sir"
mo wonder. Look at your glasses.
The left-hand glass had been lost
out. Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25
He Went to Shoot.

We were sitting in the office of a
hotel in n town on the Tennessee
River, and a colored man came along
with revolver in his hand. One OF
the men called him into the hotel and
asked:
"Sam, what are you doing with
that thing ?"
"Gwine ober to have a riot wid
Bill Peters, de barber" was tho
prompt reply.
whats he been doing ?"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25
Net of the First Water.

"What quantity of diamonds
Mrs. Stockandbond wears, and they
seem to be of the first water, too
"No, they are of the second water.
1t was not until her husband had ir-
rigated his stocks second time that
she began to wear diamonds. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

A girl masquerading in boys cloth
ing slipped and fell. She said :
Ouch I" and this gave her away. A
man would have been just as much
hurt, but he would have made diff.
ferent remark.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

When an editor owes a tradesman
ten dollar bill, what is the briefest
and at the same time the most deli
cate way for the tradesman to sug.
gest settling up! "Please X."-
Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

eyes I am opposed to American
girls marryin' furriners," said old
Mrs. Sipss. "I'm jist that opposed
to it that if my girls can't marry peo-
pie Of their own sex, they needn't
marry at all, and that's all there is
about it."-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Rev. E. H. Chaplin, in his early
days in the lecturing field, when ask
ed what he received for his sort of
work, replied, pleasantly: "F. A.
M. FIFTY and my expenses. -
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

"If you should allow me $14 per
week on which to run the house" "
she said, as they sat together in the
twilight, "and saved SO per week
out of that, what weuld you say?"
"Say' Why, I'd say you ought to
run it on 'leven." he growled, as he
lighted the gas."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

The person whose conversation can
throw light upon any subject-the
man with a lantern jaw.-London
Punch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

When forth goes the lover to greet
her, the tune he huns is in short
meet her.-Boston Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Fair play pugilists are like safety
matches, they strike only on the box
London Punch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

A brisk, rapid clergyman attended
his church to solemize marriages late
ly. Seeing bridal party waiting,
he had them ordered up sharply, and
began marrying away post haste. AS
he ratified on through the service the
bridegroom turned color, quivered,
and gasped out: please, sir, don't
you think it would be as well to wait
for the bride! I'm sure she won't be
long a-coming."-London Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

The fellows who found a lot of
money in an old vest, said it was a
good investment for them.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Deacon Bucrag "a visitor at the
Mott street Sunday school)-"How
long have you been member of the
Sunday school, All Sing? ?"
Ah Sing: "Tlee weekee."
Deacon Bucrag: "And do you
not find much in the Christian re-
ligion to comfort your
Ah Sing: "Not vely much. Me
votee Lepublican ticket and gotee
leftee. New York Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Washington Irving once said to a
lady friend; Don't teach your
daughters so many things; teach
them one thing; teach them to be
easily pleased" Judging from the
specimens Of husbands acquired by
numerous young ladies, too many
mothers have followed Irving's ad-
vice.-Norristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

An important period-the one be-
tween the dollars and cents.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

A California blacksmith is danger
ously i'll with glanders contracted
while shoeing a horse, and a Penn
sylvania woman is suffering from a
sprained ankle, contracted while
shooing hen. There seems to be a
fatality about this shoeing business
-Nerristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Twill you have a piece of pie, Mr..
Goodman asked Bobby's mother of
the minister.
Thanks; no." he replied.
"Will you, Bobby ?" she inquired.
"N-no, / guess not" said Bobby,
rather hesitatingly.
The minister looked at Bobby in
surprise.
Il thought all little boys were fond
of pie" he said.
"They are" said Bobby. 81 could
eat that hull pie; but ma said if you
didn't take any mustn't, an she'd
save it for to-morrow."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

"Belles" call many people to
church. Chicago Ledger.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Proprietress of game and delicat.
essen emporium: II am very sorry
dose rabbits und skvir-r-als und
brarie chiggens vos all sold owd
aber here is shplendit sausage.
recommend dot"
Customer: "'Fraid that won't
do; my wife'll never believe l shot
it."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25
Advertising Eates.

Business 1ards, ono year, one dollar for svsv
line.
LoCl Y staees scS snnta ssr liso err sasA hsW
t'rys
Prices and Terms alike to all.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

First dude: "You think that she
loves you then ?"
Second dude: "I'm-aw--posi-
tive of it, my deah boy"
First dude: "What makes you
positive :"
Second dude: "She has named
her poodle after me, my deah boy
and if that isn't strong proof of 9
young lady's affection then I'm nc
judge Of the deah cweachahs, that''
all. Boston Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Quality is as important as quaint.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

The gentlemen of Alpena are here by informed
that will removed all decayed or offensive matter
around their premises or from their Vaults, which
have collected during the winter. 1 will DO IL in
the night, leaving everything in good condition.
All orders left on my slate at the Argus offse or
sent by postal will be promptly attended to. COS
ISAACsREEDER.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25
CH0 KIN G

~
In the above cases Dr. Thsmas' Eeisetrie on eaa
he relied upon. II has given relief 10 thsusasds.
Keep it in your house. There 10 hardly we'd u
the year IL viii not be useful. '-"'- -
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Abundance 70 eurv q score
OF eolds and the eouEhhR
that sften leads the wry 20
Consunptisa. IT VIII ~.
IrIvrLy ease . CsrsA b -
minutes
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

Arrival and departure of train, noted below as
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

More thaa enough TO save
. dores ehildrea Chekimg with
CRoup. One minute aftss shs
hrst dose the hsrtsss sttssh
Of Group w,ll bs rsiivvs<. a..
Plenty 10 relieve the syyrss
sion and whessisg 81 the asss
severe case sf Asthma. The
direct eura 81 Asthns ~
tins medicine are proofs that
DR.. Thonas' kslsessis On m
no equal - a AseAas esss
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

The Niagara Falls Route.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-11-25

particle Ia applied into each nostril and I,
ag eeable TO Price 80 cents by mail or drug
gists. Send for circular. ELY BROTHERS, drug.
gists, owego, N. Y. 7S2yl
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-30

VILE, in VOlusia, must have been marked
oy considerable excitement. There had
oeen races in the forenoon for which sew
eral local favorites had been entered, and
alter this much hilarity was drawn from
various jugs. Then at another period of
me excitement there was free fight and
several suffered considerably. One man
was killed, and the officers went up TO
arrest the murderer. From all reports 1t
seems that it was free fight which grew
out of whisky.
There are several sulphur springs in
the vicinity OF Sumterville, which are
destined to become of great value TO their
owners and the city. There are also
springs near town whose waters are
strongly impregnated with magnesia ana
other medicinal substances, which rem
der them very efiicacious in dyspepsia
and many other diseases. Public atten-
ton is now being attracted to these
springs to such an extent that the water
from some Of them is hauled in barrels for
miles and used as almost "cure-alls'' by
many families.
Daytona Messenger: Capt. Harry
Brown, OF the dredge, was In town last
Saturday. The Captain says that the
dredge has done more to make canal
since September than both the other
dredges. She has removed nearly 200, 900
cubic Yards OF earth and opened the line
over four miles. It's estimated that there
IS 6OO, 900 yards yet TO be removed. The
Captain came down TO fix up a new boom,
as the old one was broken by trying to lit
too large load. He saws that the pres
ent contract will expire December 81,
but thinks new one will he made. What
they have done has cost $500 per mile.
Over 100000 have already been expended
on the canal.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-30
SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS: WEDNESDAY. DECEMBER 3d. 1885,

last year. The receipts per week are con-
slueraoly ahead of the same time last
year, and the receipts since September
are l,52O in advance OF the figures of 1894
counting the stocks with the factories we
nave probably $4,000 bales IN Augusta,
mounting up to somewhere near s., O00. 200
worth OF cotton in the city. This stock
mas been increasing and will continue TO
increase Tor some time to come. The re-
celpts IN Augusta are heavy-the sales
small saturdays figures being 1923 for
Uhe one and 34S for the other. Augusta's
receipts last week were 1884 and her
shipments 3, 495.
AT Macon Monday warrants were sworn
out against G. Perryman and Tom Holt,
alias Harvey Holt, charging them with
burning Perryman's barroom on satur-
Gay night. They were taken to Jail.
Nlhety-one dollars was found on Perry
man mans person at the time of the arrest.
ms money Chief of Police Wiley holds
under gsrnlshment obtained by Camp
oell Tyndall, to whom Perryman is in
0eoted. All the other parties arrested as
PROBABLE acconiplices OF Perryman were
released. A mob Of 500 negroes, OF both
sexes and all colOrs assembled at the
City hall to learn what would be done
with .Perryman, and the negroes thought
10 De MS accompllces. The mob was a
quiet one, seemingly actuated by no other
spirit than that of curiosity. Every man,
woman, and child stood about the en-
trance to the station house fully four
hours, all discussing Saturday nights
nre, and giving opinions upon the case
win great earnestness. Some of the
Older negroes, who evidently felt that by
reason of their years their opinions were
entitled to infinite respect, discussed the
case IN It's legal and religious aspects,
laying down the law or manufacturing
scripture as the notion seized them.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-30
SANTA CLAUS sTARrs OUT.
The Good Fellow with the Big Pack in
80 the Silver State.
From the Denpsr T'ri6une.

y. From the DenDsr Tribune.
A novel sight yesterday was a man
driving team Of 1H-year-oId elk, which
we're lassoed up at Middle Park last June.
and "broken" by j. N. Shore, the West
Denver horse-trainer. A boy chased after
the team, exclaimlng: "Aln't you Mr..
santa CLAUSE Amt You Mr.. Santa ClausW
Mr.. Shore telling him he was, the boy in
thing the Christmas, and hung on 10 the
rig until for promise was given. A man
stopped the team on Larimer street 10 ask
what ''them things was" "They are
Billy and jim" replied Mr. Shore. ''Ohi
that sof' said the questiOner. pulling his
chin and looking wise, as the elk drove
on. Another inquisitiye fellow stepped
In front OF the elk as they stopped for a
moment, TO put his hand on their heads.
"Ayast therel Get away from that elk !"
roared the driver, as one OF the elk was
preparing 20 plant his fore feet in the i'm
pudent mans bread-basket. "YOu see."
said the driver 70 a reporter, "while elk
make splendid teams for driving alter
once broke In. they take only 20 the man
who looks after them, and become easily
enraged when anyone else approaches
them. Notice that seam uador their eyes
Well, that opens wide when they are an
cry. You want TO look out then II within
reach OF their fore feet, for that Is the way
they fight, by striking with their feet.
What IL suct a team WORTH For this
pair, 81 800. You many think II fancy
price, hut a team OF well-tralned elk can
OF these fancy notion houses Will have me
10 ride around town about Christmas time
with my team and self rugged out la
Santa Claug.n
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-30
THE sHoPLIFTER,s MUFF.
A Useful InvsntioA for Female Thieves


From the N1D York StGr.
The French muff is the latest device Of
the female shoplifter, and, by those famiI-
lar with its construction and perfect
adsptability to its business, it is conceded
to be the neatest thing known.
The holiday period is the choicest sea-
son of the year for the shoplifter, but it
has been shorn Of large share of it's
profits by alert foor-walkers. who have
become perfectly familiar with the
s'warehOuse'' dresses and clOaks Of the
professionals. Until the advent of the
French muff the ladies who lived by pick
ing up valuable laces. silks and fancy ar
ticles in the largest stores had no partic-
ular comfort in their calling, but with the
new device they have been able to reap a
harvest despite the lynx-eyed profession
al c0unter-w atcheIs.
The shopiifter's muff is, outwardly,
above suspicion, there being nothing
about it TO betray its capacity for con-
cealing plumber. 1t is covered with anV
kind OF fur, just as honest nuns are, with
the significant exception that instead of
being padded with cotton the fur rests
upon framework OF wire. Between the
fur covering and the wire-supporting
Il anne the space usually filed with cotton
is left vacant, thus providing accOmm0da-
ton for quite stock OF valuable lace, ar
ticles of jewelry, gloves, or anything else
small and valuable.
In the bottom of the muh there is a
small slide on the inside worked by the
hand of the wearer, who, after introduc
ing the article stolen in the muf, presses
back tn 8 slide and drops the plunder into
the cavity between the frame and the fufQ
With one Of these NUTS shOpHfting is 90
easy as'to be successfully practised by
nOvIces, as not one st0re-walker In a
thousand would suspect that his cOlfh-
ters could be worked through muf worn
as these are when in action. The opera
tor resUs her rand with the muff on 10 on
the goods which she proposes 10 sample.
and moment of diverted attention on
the part Of the salesman or sales woman
is ample for her to transfer 10 her ingeni-
GUS warehouse such samples as she can
conveniently and quickly pick up with
one hand. The movement OF cOncealing
the stolen articles 10 instantaneOusly ex-
ecuted, and however well the muR NAV
be stuffed, IL cannot be bulged out 70
attract attention, like cloak or a dress.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-30
A PLEA FOR THE ALrAMAHA
A Great River and it's Tributaries which
Ought to be Improved.


Ought to be Improved.
JoHNsToN's STATION, Dec. 24.-The
members of the Memorial Committee.
appointed at the recent organization OF
| the Altamaha River Association at
Darien, are requested to meet at Lumber
City on Jan. 10, with the reports from the
various subcommittee, that their me-
mortal may be forwarded to our Congress-
| men by Feb. 1.
Allow me to say to all Of the friends OF
this important enterprise, that we mean
business, and know no such word as fail,
| confident of success if the merits of our
cause are properly presented.
The Altamaha river, with its tributa-
ries, flows from the mountains to the
| ocean through as fine a section Of country
as there is on the globe, and with her
great and diversified resources and ma
tural advantages could be made, with
reasonable expenditure, one OF the garden
spots of our country.
To the accomplishment Of this worthy
enterprise, we mosU earnestly appeal to
our Representatives aud Senators in Con-
gress to do their whole duty in the matter,
| tully confident that Congress will not
withhold liberal appropriation for the
development Of this important and here
t0fOre much neglected section.
This is no selfish move, as those ada
cent to these rivers will not be the only
beneheiaries, these vast water courses,
serving as feeders to a considerable ex-
tent now, to the Central railroad. East
Tennessee, Virginia and Georgia rail-
road and the Savannah, Florida and
Western railroad, as the business men OF
Brunswick and Savannah well know.
Away then, with all sectional preju-
dlces, give us all the aid you can or, at
least, let us have your good wishes.
VIM. HUGHES,
President Itaunoha Rivar A aaootafiou