Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1885-07-18
LIME-KIbN CLUB.

81 nebber see man. who believes il
am his solemn dooty to be responsible
fur his felow.man widout feeling sorry
fur him." said Brother Gardner as the
voice of the triangle called the meeting
to order.
"When a pussen who has worn de
heels off his hutes dodgin creditors
comes to me an wants to know why !
doan' put up mo- cash for the heather
he settles me on the African bizness
fer months to come.
"When man has fit wild all his
nayburs, an driben his poo old fadder
to de poo house to die, calls aroun to
demand why | doan' come down for
dis or dat charity, | feel all de stub
borness of an Alabama mewl.
Glider Toots am not responsible if
Samuel Shin has 70 libin wives, an de
Rev. Penstock am blameless if Givea-
dam Jones am sent to jackson fur
stealin' a plate glass window. Mind
your own business am ez good a motto
ez God Bless our Homes.
The Secretary announced a printed
circular from Vincennes, Ind, originat-
ing with religious sect, making the
statement that the world was to come
to an end on the Sd of July, and ask
ing Lime. Kiln Club to assist in pre-.
pairing the general public for the
expected event.
Shindig Watkins made break for
the door, and Judge Cadaver showed
a disposition to go out of an alley win
dow, but the stentorian tones of the
President called halt.
"Dar' am no 'cashun for anybody to
rush home an sell off his cook-stove at
half price. If de predickshun am solid
we has quite few days befo' us to git
in proper shape; if de predickshun am
only guess.work we'd better move slow.
De Seekretary will write to Indiana
for furder perticklers, an meanwhile
the subjick will be laid on de table,
ain case de world eands up on that
day what am to become of dis club 2
anxiously inquired the Hon. Unworthy
Smith.
| "We shall simply adjourn de subjick
to de call of de proper officers" was
the calm reply.
Pickles Smith then called up his
resolution of two weeks ago to designate
all whitewashers as "artists," and to
permit all members of the club to
combine whitewashing and landscape
painting.
81 has giben de matter serus thought" "
replied the President, IAN | has come
to de conclushun dat de two purfeshuns
had better be kept separate for while
Wit. While dar am no doubt dat some
whitewashers am artists, an dat some
artists am only whitewashers, it will be
better fur each to stick to his line. If
you get the public confused de woman
who wants an oil paintin' of scene
among de Alps will be bumpin agin
de man who wants double coat of
whitewash on a line fence, an Vice
vorsG."
The Chairman of the Committee on
Agriculture announced his quarterly
report. and added that it gave him
great satisfaction to be able to state
that at least one third more water
melons would be marketed this year
than last. He had been directed to
offer prize of ten dollars in gold for
the best ode to the first watermelon,
the said ode to be strictly original,
written in blue ink, and the author to
make two dollar affidavit that it had
never appeared in print before.
The suggestion was, after considera-
BILE debate, placed in the form Of reso
luton, and as such was passed by a
large majority. All poems must be in
by July Is, and the award will be
made by August L. Authors need not
name any particular brand of melon,
nor the name of the grower, nor how
the melon came to leave the patch
without the owners knowledge Neither
will any attention be paid to the condi.
ton Of the melon--whether ripe or
green. but ripe ode will probably
read the best.
After transaeting some further rou-
tine business the meeting adjourned. =
Free Press.