Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-08-21

REPUBLICAN Hollow, Aug Il, -.
DEAR HERALD:
Will yOu allow us little space, not to
vOmit, but to comment little on the ar
ticle ether Publerkan Pandemonium
by one mike What kind of a bird Is
"Mike"i A man will, as long as he is
sober, get away from everybody else to
Z" ding up" whatever has disagreed with
him. A pig or puppy will go of to itself,
and, having disgorged itself of what has
boon indigestible, will down it again.
lest il offend some one else's stomach
"Mike" can lay claim TO relationship with
neither of the above, for having surieited
himself with Republican sweetmeats, he
coolly walks into tie Yirginian' office,
and, after vomiting all over the office, yet
demands more than a column of space in
each COPY of the issue. Now, Mike, dear
boy, let us demonstrate with you a little.
I,et's talk over the matter calmly. Nou
know full well that sweet things when too
freely partaken of will invariably " sour u
on the stomach. You should have remem-
bered this on Monday last and should
have had your gluttonous appetite under
control Suppose, now, lady friend OF
yours should invite you TO dine with her
at picnic. After the good things had
been spread out, and handed around, If
Won had been so imprrdent as to eat twice
as much as was & Tor you and should
sutFer all the folio night with indi-
gestion, nightmare, &c, would you rise
next morning blaming the hospitality of
| your friend or the richness Of her delica-
ciesY We think not. You would have
only your own greedy, hoggish self to
growl at. Now, Mike, you must not blame
the Republicans for your temporary stom-
aeh-ache (for Pm sure it was only Temporal
| ry). There were great many good things
both said and done because there were
great many people there and Republi'
cans will endeavor on all occasions to pro
vide for all, and you shouldn't have taken
80 much although you were welcome to
it), or having done so you should not
blame what you swallowed, oh no, never
Your stomach, which has been so used Il
"taffy aud soft sawdsr could moi
stand change from this to a mor'
strengthening diet, Cat least not such (
sudden CHANGE, and you have only TIVE
things on which to lay the blame LIST
your indiscretion 2nd, your weak stom
ach. Now don't say you weren't IndIs
Greet for your own words condemn you
Tho very fact Of your rushing in as TIN
(" Kort rushed out proves that you ha'
fully determined TO take it all in an,
you followed up the whole thing TO tn
close Of the day.
As to Senator Grim's speech, canno
'' say. not having heard it, but il yon cal
find any big Punder gun in Woodstocl
. who wants the "stUfIn knocked clear
o out Of him just trot him out on the tract
n and let him offer an even and fair divs
q ionaof time 30 the Senator and he (the d
F.g.) will come back heap sicker'n you
}, Mickey, heap sicker"
! III see you later Mike. The editor
n looking at the waste basket. Some edi
d tors haven't enough heart to keep up tn
d circulation Of gnat.
!, Yours till humiliation (of Democracy,
/, JOSH.
P.S.-As Mike seems to have bad an ex
tremely "bad spell " would suggest that
O should il return, he take a little pepper
= mint STRAIGHT. Ginger or allspice
said to be as good. j.