The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-12-10
BILL NYE.
His Story of pav,d and Gollah.

Ills Story Of David and Gollnh.
Goliath was originally tho giant in
side show III Gath at thirteen dollars ;
week. but when the war broke out h,
enlisted in tho army of the Philistine'
more fer the bounty than anything else
This life seemed to hit him about right
for Goliath was naturally lazy ant
triAing. OF course Pm telling you this
in my own language, but Pm giving it
to you straight.
When tae army of Israel campcd over
in the valley of Elah, it looked pretty
squally fo- Saul and he felt like sending
in his resignation.
Every morning after breakfast, Goiah
dressed il his brass plug hat and cas-!
iron corset and copper clothes, would
sail out and poke fun at Saul and hi:
home guards.
Goliah was large husky yahoo from
the headwaters of tho Chug and had 8
hand on him like q horse block. He
was muscled up in good shape too
When he began on a man it meant six
months in hospital with careful nurs.
ing, and il Goliah felt grieved and hurt
about something man had said about
him and took the man aside to have a
little talk about it, the mans widow ap.
piled right off for the life insurance. In
this way Goliath used to be respected
very much around Gath,
So every day ho would come out on
the mesa and sass the armies. of Israel
and tell Saul that if he had full grown
man who had any sand he would like to
have him come over and get himself
measured tor pair of wings. Day after
day he would walk out with his bomb
proof clothes on aud cordially invite
the Israelites TO come over one at a time
and let him paralyze 'em. And Saul,
on behalf of his people, declined the
invitation with thanks. lie told Goliath
while be would be glad to meet him for
a little soft glove tete.a tete, he would
have to decline any meeting on a basis
of open hostility. This caused the eau.
paign to crag and the daily papers in
Israel began to criticise Saul and to ask
why he did not come home and hoe corn
instead of fooling away his time on the
Philistines.
Just then David came down from his
fathers sheep ranch on Independence
Mountain, over against Bethlehem,
Judah, on the old California trail, to see
how the var was progressing. He want
ed to take trip to some place where
there would be no danger or bodily harm,
so his parents thought it would be safer
perhaps for him to go down to the front
"where war wagged its wild desolation
and threatened our land to Destroy"
They told him to go down where the
two armies were engaged in open hostil'
tiles and they would feel perfectly easy
about him, but they cautioned him not
to wander sway from the army into the
woods and get lost.
So David went over to hear Goliath
speak his piece. Every morning for
forty days the dime museum giant came
out and opened court, requesting the
Isr0eliles To come over and meet fate
worse thar death. But the Israelites
preferred daath to general debility and
old age. They had relations at home
on whom tEey were dependent.
Just as David got to the front, Goliath
came out aud spoke with loud voice
and cried out and defed the armies of
Israel, and .3aul's army scattered and fell
over each ether trying to get into Lbe
woods and behold there were not trees
on,,,ol cor n tba cold ior, of tho orn1ins
of Israel to climb.
And David was disgusted ard told
Saul that be would like TO 60 out and
fight the Fhilistine if some courageous
Israelies would come along and hold his
coat for him. Everybody laughed at
David, and his brothers especially, as
soon as thay had stopped running and
got behind a tree aud recovered their
breath, began to ridicule David. But
David insisted on it and told Saul that
one time when a mountain lion and
grizzly bear came and carried off several
Of his fathers sheep he ran after them
and after hs had knocked the lion silly
with his iiss, he ran his hand down the
bears throat, caught him by the tail and
turned him wrong side out. The King
said: "Well, did you really do tbat
II you did I've good notion to give you
the freedom. of the Phiistine camp, and
if you will bring me Golath's scalp,
stretched Oh a shingle, | give you all the
money you want and my only daughter,
for I'd just as soon tell you in confidence
that this side show giant is getting to be
a perfect eye sore to me, and between
you and me, think be is OVERRIDING this
thing and making q nuisance Of himself"
So David said be would go, and Saul
dressed him up in a railroad iron over
coat but the boy couldn't handle it.
He took of the Ere and burglar proof
over coat and filled his pocket full Of
rocks and sailed in.
When Goliath came out ho turned his
nose up at David and asked him if his
mother knew he was out! He talked
mean to David and finally told him to
come over and be would feed him to the
coyotes.
Then David in gcntlcmanly way
told Goliat. that he didn't claim to be
much of a taikcr in public, bat he relied
on the Righteousness Of his cause. lie
caco not with words and banners and
torchight procession, but he believed he
was right and came here to prove it.
He was no public speaker he said. but
thought this thing had gone far enough.
Ee ,ilcn surprised Goliath with mess
age behind the ear. Tie gentleman
From (tatt fell 10 the earth with "sick.
ening thud" aud David cut his head of
with the giants own sword. From these
injuries Goliath novef fully recovered,
and finally deceased.
Thon the men Of Israel and of Judah
rose up and whooped with loud voice
and pursued their enemies and they fed
the fowls of the air with Philistine on
toast for fo;!y days, and David became
solid with the king aud made money
and wore good clothes every day.
Sam Small OIL Wliskey.
Thnra is ,nounb WhisEey manufactured