Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-12
BRIGHT BITS.

IT is a SANDER to say that a Chicago girl is
all sole.-B0stOR Budget.
A GRATEFUL CIrIzEN.-O. 3. Griggs, of
Bridgeport desires to tender his thanks to
the choir at Plainfeld. who so kindly and
satisfactorily sang at the funeral of his
mother in-law.-P1atnfeJd (I1td.) Progress.
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX recently wrote a
poem on malaria" and a few weeks later
came down with an attack OF fever and ague.
This may not be retributye Justice, but it
looks very much like it.--Ne10 Iorb Grdpbic.
captain, We arc entirely out Of ammuni-
milton" said an Orderly Sergeant on field
day. "What, entirely out of ammUnitlOnw
exclaimed the Captain. Yes, entirely out"
oriy said the Captain. "-Nel5 York Ne1os.
He-"No"
She-s'Whv not9"
He-"No clothes"
She-"Neither have ="
He-"Well, you can go that way; can't
PUc6
MISS MIGGs-'I hope. my dear. that YOU
don't 90 to the theatre alone" Esteile-"No,
indeed, | never think OF going unless Pm
chaperoned." Miss Miggs-"Unless you are
what" Chaperoned." Miss Miggs
THAT'S the way with me, / always like to
have chap around.-DrGke's NaGasiRe.
AFTER Fogg had sat through a long dis
course by ParsOn Jones, Deacon Smith was
anxious to know how FOgg liked it, and the
FOgg replied that the paFsOn was a good man
a very good man-One whom nobody could
ever accuse of making light of the scriptures.
Boston Transcript.
He was used to It.-At a social gathering in
Austin a lady remarked to kOscluRkO Muir
ply: ''There is nothing, in my opinion, so
terrible as a sudden death by violence" so,
we military men are so accustomed to that
sort of thing that we don't think anything Of
it." replied KOsciuskO, who has sent in his APP
plIcation to become member of the Travis
Light Artillery Teas Siftings.
A GOOD REASON
Why does she hold her head 80 high
And look so supercilious,
And pass the other maidens by
As if they made her bilious?
Well may she proudly walk the street,
The while her pride increases;
Her crazy quilt is just mplete,
Made of ten thousand pieces.
Boston Courier.
''WERE you actively engaged in the war;"
asked stranger in Austin of Gen. Jeh Blake
man.
''Oh, yes; was very actively engaged in
shipping cotton to Europe during the war"
Then how did you happen to be called
'General""
''Wen you see I made money during the
war, and afterward the boys came home poor
and wanted to borrow little money. l gen
orally loaned it to them, and that is how |
came to be called General and it has stuck
/ 60 me ever since."-Teeds S!ftiR0s.
| I'M Oold w estern poet, Just near my baZ00;
/ A rip-roarinR Thymer from Kalamazoo;
! l sling all the slang from Oshkosh To Yazoo;
/ I'm q corker and don't you forget it.
! I sing Of El Mahdi and rebel half-breeds:
/ [ paint the town red with praise of their
deeds;
! With the blood Of their victims write all my
| screeds;
It's none Of your biz how l get it.
/ My pa was blizzard, my mia a cyclone:
/ l was born mp in Deadwood and reared IN
Tombstone;
| l grew up a Pluto, bowling Shoshone;
| I'm screamer, a DigeOn-tOed daisy.
My thoughts are so hot that they sizz in my
brain:
| / dine upon dynamite scrambled or plain:
/ And beakers Of whisky aud powder | drain,
Till tenderfeet think / am crazy.
| But I'm not, it is simply ny nature to shout.
Pm hummer, Sioux, and my ma knows
/ Pm out.
I'm a bold Western poet, of that there's no
doubt,
Though my metaphors are somewhat hazy.
-Nelo York Tribune.