Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1885-03-25

He was hageling with q retailer IN
the Bowery about coat, ana nnaliy
inquired, "Whats tho difference be-
tween this loag-tailed coat and that
bob-taled oneg' ''Shust der same
price, my trent" "But there's yard
more cloth in The lonG-taiied one.
.Oxactly. .!Andisn cloth any OBJ
iect?' 's'No. IN DIR least, my trent.
Der sh rec vhas all made for selling
der goods and counting oop der pro
fits!S I'm buying railroad stocks don't
inquire ii the road is doing amy basil
ness.
There is y blind Frenchman who ap.
pears on Sixth avenue every afternoon
with tim receptacle for money strap
ped across his breast and an accordion
in his hands. A Spitz dog leads him
safely through the crowds to the adj
miration of all beholders. The French
man plays on his accordion, the PEN
MES jingle merrly in the tin cup, and
the dog pulls with all his strength.
They say that the animal possesses hui
man intelligence; burt in reality ne is
only trying to get away from the &c
cordeon.
One sometimes hears strange modes
of reasoning during that favorite pas
time of some women, shopping. inns
little scent-bag is not quite perfect,
said one at the Woman's Exchange. as
she called the attention OF girl In
waiting to an article that lay on table.
.'Now, if it were for myself l should
not care at all, but would like to buy
it to give as Il present to little niece,
and she's so observing that she'd no.
tice any defect in it in moment.
Couldn't you let me have it at half
price?" 'a
Not many years ago Belva Lockwood
was arguing case before Chief JUS
tice Carter, who took occasion to over
| rule demurrer she had filed. Mrs.
Lockwood then made a motion, which
was denied. Rising in wrath, the per
picked lady demanded: II should like
to have your Honor advise me what to
do next Slowly and with stammer
! the Chief Justice replied: "Mrs. Lock
| wood, the c-c-c-court would advise you
! to b-b-b-hy All means em-em-em-em-
pioy lawyer
Il understand that you have stopped
practicing,' said the secretary OF state
to an eminent colorrl physician. Yes,
sab, 'clidcd ter gin n, der trade an
60 ter prcachin'. In dis country dar
amt no money ter be made i'll dc prac-
tisin' o medicine. Wy, sab, eff l had
er voted my time ez close ter suthin'
else Ell has ter di, business, l would
CT been putty we'll OF by dis time.
ODER two-thirds of my patients neber
paid me, sah." 'Why didn't you sue
them?' "'Twouldn' done no good,
ease da wuz dead, sab. got de wus'
class O patients. None O. EN- neber
had no health an constitution.
Mrs. Eccentric, of western city,
lavished the care and caresses on pet
dog that it is to be hoped that, had she
been a mother, she would have bestow-
ed on her children. On the death OF
her dog she went into the depths OF
grief, refusing to be comforted. Not
only did she darken her house, but her
dress as well. Some time after she
went to make call of coincidence up
on an old school friend, Mrs. K,
who was mourning the death of her
little child. 1t is safe to say that Mrs.
K must have forgotten her grief
in her indignation that Mrs. Eccentric
should have presumed to say, Il can
svmpathize with you, Mrs. K, for I
too have been recently afflicted"