, 1885-08-19
T LEADERS.

Little
REPUBLICANS don't believe in partisan
ism-except Republican partisanism.
AND now it transpires that when a
cowboy hasn't got n stove to cook his
meals on, he cooks them on the range.
APnos, Cal, has n man who would
make a frst-class juryman. He had
never heard Of Gen. Grant until that
great man died.
SOME one publishes a recipe for telling
when water is unfit to drink. Good eye
sight renders the verdict against Crow
creek. Science is unnecessary.
WHEN you see n dog barking at II bucket
of Crow creek water, it is no sign that he
has hydrophobia. There are things in it
big enough to excite Drawer animals than
dogs.
Ir will cost $500, 900, 900 to complete
the Panama canal. Why didn't they let
us know that before we ordered that last
suit of clothes. 1t amt right to crowd a
newspaper man that way.
Tue Denver Nelcs published on Mon
day morning an illustrated sermon. If
this sort of thing is carried much further
we may expect in n little while that no
pulpit will he complete without a stereop-
ticon.
AN exchange says: 1--WE don't see why
DIR, Leonard should go behind the bushes
to drink ale, when he is taking it for
dyspepsia. Perhaps it was because he
didn't want the other preachers to get on
to his bottle.
The dispatches this morning say that
a rolling mill company in Pennsylvania
has voluntarily advanced the wages of its
employees 20 per cent. Tune up your
harps and take down your ascension
robes.
JoHNNIE had what he considered a very
small quantity of ice cream on his dish,
and some one asked him If he wasn't
afraid ice cream would make him sick.
Yes he replied, the size of that lump
makes me sick to look at il.
SOME bathing waiter girls at Long
Branch ducked a dude who was making
FIN of them until he could see no fun in
them whatever. When they got through
with him he looked like an UNFINISHED end
of a piece of sunken tow line.
SOME one writes to the New York Sun
to inquire If President Cleveland wore his
moustache on the day that Gen. Grant
was buried, to which the SIN promptly
replies that he did. The offended parti-
sans are going to get up a big bill of par
t%iculars against the president one Of these
days,
If the Republicans were in power they
wouldn't give any Excuse for turning
Democrats out Of office. They would Just
simply, and coolly, and rapidly, and effect
ually and un~questionably turn EN- out,
and in some instances they might take
enough interest in a fellow with his head
of TO ask. What are you going to do
about it2"
OMAHA is frightened about the advent
Of pennies there. A penny seems to be a
little thing to make a big scare, and yet
the only thing to do when they reach the
city ia which you live, and get a foot-hold
there, is to move further west. The
penny is the advance agent Of parsimony,
grasping money getting, homeopathic
lttleness and freeze-out-your- friend.
MAUD MULLER has been arrested in
Omahs for drunkenness. What will the
judge say when he sees her hauled up
before him for this sort Of thing 1t
seems from the newspaper description of
Maud that the sun has been getting in its
work through Maud's torn hat. for
she is now so black that the jail record
has her down as ''colorcd.
Catprrh of the BLADDER.
Singing, irritation, Inflammation, all
kidney and urinary complaints. cured by