The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-03-28
IKR'S IRRrTARILITY.
The old Man Begins to Relate q Story
 but Drives Away His Auditor.

"Whut yer doin' dar ?" called old Ike. Keep dem hoofs offen dem ingon beds, will yer. Pusson may wuck an wuck all day an den yersef comes CT long an 'stroys de whole bur'ness. Yer daddy oughter p lint CT skull an cross-bones on yer jacket"
 "What tor, Uncle Ikep" asked the boy.
 "Case yer's so pisen. Neber seed sich CT chile. Rat suster stick his soof in yer he'd die fore sundown. Run ter dc house, chile. and fetch me some water"
 "l might poison you"
 "Haw, haw. gwine ter turn de joke on de ole man, is yer honey9 Wy honey, l'se yer f,ien'. Neber min tetchin' de water. Fetch CT pitcher O swee, milk an I'll tell yer su,hin' monsnous."
 The boy brought the milk, but when the old man had drunk it, he said
 Run Tong, new.'
 "You said you would tell me story"
 Run Tong. Ain go. time now. Yer mus neber fool wid CT pusson when he is at wuck"
 "An' person that's a. work ought not to say things that ain't true"
 "Look heah, boy" stopping and scrap ing the blade of his hoe with chip, Sit aim fur vessel ter come roun' heah tryin' ter shew me right from wraung. Ise ole ernuf ter be de gran'-fadder O haf CT dozen sich chillun sz yesse'f is, I'll hab yer ter know. One Q desc days arter yer's been foolin' roun' CT ole pusson, tryin' ter make out dat he's liar, yer's gwine ter hear suthin' hit de groun' wid CT noise like CT dog fallin' ober d. ience. Doan recolleck ole Ligy, recken2'
 "l know what my pa read aboit him."
 "Yas, but yer pa didn' read < all UT yer wouldn' be standin' heah jawin' me at dis mint O yer life. Nor, sah, yer would dun be trapped on yer knees axin' de S.byer an de Lawd an de 'possels ter let yer draw one mo- bfeaf O fraish air"
 "Tell me about it."
 "Huh, yessef puts me in mine O de young pusson whut da wuz tryin' fur his life. He hopped up laung fore de trial wuz ober an says, says ze, Look heah, jedge, tell me whut yer gwineter say when yer sentences me ter be hung"
 "Why am like him2''
 "Whut, doan yer see de appercashun2 Go on, boy, tain't 'uth while ter fool CT mans time erway wid yer"
 "I'll go way if you tell me bout Ligy."
 "Oh, ain't g~ineter beg yer ter go. One day seed boy fooiin' roun' CT steer. tole him to come erway and he wanted ter know what would gin him. didn' say nuihin' mo- an de lust thing he kncwed ar,er dat da wuz rubbin' him wid icnament an at de same time prayin' dat de good Lawd mout spare his life. Tell yer whut I'll do-look out, dar Contour it, yer gwine ter tramp right on de ingon sets? Dis is whut m do. Now yer know dat i'se mighty pleased wid any little faber whut CT chile shows me, an erbove all, Pse speedily pleased vid CT chile whut tells de truth an sticks up ter his promises. Ds Si5.s ssys :. ole pusson may, when it is 'senshuI ter his elaborate con wenience, stretch de truth few button holes, but dat CT young pus- son whut is jes' gettin' CT start in life mus alias tell de truth UT ds'Il be frown in de heabens whutn make de good folks dar think dat shower am comin' up. Now, promise me dat ef m tell yer de true facks bout dat man Ligy. or Lige, CT he wuz better knowd, dat yer'li fetch me out CT hunk CT braid an all dc sop whut yer ken get ousen de skeilet Hole on, not nov. Wait tell da cooks ag,in. l Doan speck ter find no sop is de skeIles 1 now does yer~
 The boy promised.
 "Wail, honey, de inside iscks is, Lige wuz q ole niggsr, monstrous biack, as' wid CT mouf what lubed ter waiIop 'asiy 1 greens an quick grovd gssdcn trim mins. De Lswd had q mighty 'spsck | fur dc ole bali-hesdsd niggss, an' tols him dat when de bad white chiiiun e d. | town 'gustes debil him, jet ter hollss ss time CT two an de she varminfs would come outea de woods an rassei wid 'em |