The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-11-19

Of the numerous stories told IN con-
nection with diocesan inspection Tex
ANS" in public elementary schools,
the two following are perhaps the
best known and most worth quoting.
At one Of these exams, asked to men
tion the occasion upon which it is re-
corded in Scripture that an animal
spoke, made answer: 1.-The whale,
when it swallowed Jonah - The in
speetor, being something Of a humor-
ist, maintained his gravity and asked:
what did the whale say?" To
which the boy promptly replied:
almost thou persuadest me to be a
Christian" Another inspector, find
ing class hesitating over answering
the question, "With what weapon did
Samson slay the Philistines?" and
wishing to prompt them, significantly
tapped his own cheek, and asked:
"What is this?" and his action touch
ing 1.-THE chords of memory" the
whole class instantly answered: THE
jawbone of an ass"
A good example of the manner in
which students who are Sin" for sew
eral Subjects at the same time get
their ideas mixed, is that of the youth
who having to answer the question,
"Who was Esau?" replied: "Esau
was man who wrote fables, and sold
the copyright for bottle Of potash y
Here the confusion thrice confounded
of Esau and Esop, birthright and
copyright, and pottage and potash, is
really admirable in its way.
As might be expected, the examina-
tions of medical students afford some
good stories-true or otherwise. AS
might also be expected, some Of them
are wittily impudent. For instance,
'badgering" examiner asked a stu
dent what means he would employ to
induce copious perspiration in pa
tient, and got for answer: "Id try
to make him pass an examination be-
fore you, sir" The most frequently
cited anecdote of this kind is that Of
the brusque examiner-said by some
to have been DIR. Abernethv-who.
losing patience with student who
had answered badly, exclaimed: "Per-
haps, sir, you could tell me the names
of the muscles | would put IN action
if | were to kick you?" ''Undoubted-
edly, sir, came the prompt reply;
''you would put into motion the Aex-
ors and extensors of my arm, for |
should knock you down" On the
same line as this was the retort made
to M. Lefebvre de Fourcy, a French
examiner, celebrated, not only for his
learning, but also for his severity and
rudeness. He was examining a youth,
who, though well up in his work, hes
itated over answering one of the
questions put to him. Losing temper
at this, the examiner shouted to an
attendant: Bring truss Of hay for
this young gentleman's breakfast. y
bring two coolly added the exam
inee Monsieur and [ will breakfast
together" OF such alleged answers
by students as that the pancreas was
so named after the Midland railway
station, that the bone of the upper
arm (humerus) was.called the humor-
Gus, and was so styled because it was
known as the funny-bone; or that the
ankle-bone (tarsus) was so called be-
cause ST. Paul walked upon it to the
city of that name-of such alleged
answers as these it is charitable to
suppose that they must be weak in
ventions of the enemy.
Many Of the comicalities in the way
! of examination answers recorded by
her Majesty's inspectors Of schools
the examiners in\ \the School Board
Scholarships comp petitions, and other
the like official personages, go a long
way to prove that in examination
laundering, as in many other matters
truth is sometimes stranger than fic-
tion. At least, itseens to us that nc
invented story-supposing examina-
ton stories ever are nvented-could
equal for mice arrangement" the fol-
lowing written answer which was
actually given at an examination in
the specific subjects in a public ele-
mentary school within the metropoli-
tan area. The specific subject taken
was physiology, and the children "pre-
sented' in it were asked to describe
the processes Of digestion" which one
Of them did in this wise: Food is
digested by the action of the lungs.
Digestion is brought on by the lungs
having something the mater with
them. The food then passes through
your windpipe to the pores, and thus
passes off your body by evaporation.
through a lot of little holes in your
skin called capillaries. The food is
nourished in the stomach. If you
were to eat anything hard you would
not be able to digest it, and the con-
sequence would be you would have in
digestion. The gall bladder throws
off juice from the food which passes
through it. We call the kidneys the
bread-basket, because it is where all
the bread goes to. They lay up con-
cealed by the heart.
Domestic economy, as nowadays
taught to children Of the elementary
school class embraces a good deal Of
physiological knowledge, or rather, as
applied to such children, physiological
jargon. 1t is subject which affords
hosts Of amusing answers, though,
from considerations of space, two or
three must here suffice for specimens.
Thus, in reply to the question, "Why
do we cook our food?" one fifth
standard girl gives the delightfully."-
inconsequent reply: "Their of five
ways of cooking potatoes. We should
die if we eat our food roar" Anoth-
er girl writes: ''The function of food
is to do its proper work in the body.
Its proper work is to we'll masticate
the food, and it goes through without
dropping, instead of being pushed
down by the skin" A third domestic
economy pupil puts in her examina-
ton paper that food digested is when
we put it into our mouths, our teeth
chews it, and our tonge roll it down
into our body. We should not
eat so much bone-making foods as
fesh-for1ning and warmth-giving
foods, for if we did we would have too
many bones, and that would make US