davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-02-13
RUSSIAN FLAX Sized,

We have o SALE GENUINE RUSSIAN SEKD
FLAX. Experience hns proven that Russian N4
yields fully FIFTY PER CENT better than any othak
variety ever sown in this country. Sow only the agenn-
Inc Russian. We guarantee oirs. Write for micN
MANkATO LINSEED OIL o MANKATO. MINI.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-02-13

S~ENATE-The Pacific railroad bill MAS consid-
cred and then the interstate bills
came up. The senate, by a vote Of % to SO, de-
clined to strike from the house bill the Glance
relating to equal facilities and accommodations
of passengers. Mr.. Mcmillan spoke against the
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-02-13

sEsarE-The Interstate commerce tCullom)
bill was consideredand finally passed-4St to II.
AS passed by the senate the bill is sabstan-
tally as prepared by Senator cullom, and
goes back to the house as an amendment
to the Reagan bill. The chances Of an
agreement between the two houses are not
by any means encouraging. The Reagan
bill was passed by more than q two-thirds vote,
hut many members voted for 1T because they
preferred to take that to getting nothing. The
pprineipal point Of difference between the two
measures is that the senate Bill provides for
n;na commissioners to whom is gwen full
mower to regulate all matters provided for,
while tho Reasan bill refers all contro-
verted points to the COURTS, and i'm
noses heavy penalties for the violation OF it's
pproyisions. Whether a majority of the house
Vii insist mon this feature of the Reagan bill
Is nm open question; but there arc reasons to
instify the belief that this feature viii be in
sisted mon. The prospects, therefore, for an
anree,nent IN conference are far more encour-
aging. .,o,,ors on, 49,.
the coinage Of standard silver dollars was de-
bated.
HopsE--There was an extended discussion
Of the river aud karbor bill but no notes were
taken.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-02-13

The speaker laid before the house q message
from the president recommending that the
steamer Alert, which was presented to this gov
eminent by England to assist in the search for
the Greedy party, be returned to England with a
hitting acknowledgment Of the generous gift.
Referred. Also u communication from the sec
rotary of state recommending the passage of a
joint resolution permitting military officers to
be sent as military instructors to Corea, in COM
pliance with q request OF the Corean govern
mepk.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

Six thousand dollars, the entire
amount necessary to pay the debt of
Logan, KY, Female College. has been
subscribed by the friends Of that insti-
tuition.
Georgetown, Col, has had to i'm.
port new corps Of female teachers for
its public schools, only one of last years
oolma ans" remaining. The rest
have all married or are engaged.
1t is astonishing what interest the
colored population are taking in schools.
says the Hinesville. Ga, Gazette. There
are some little fellows who pass through
Hinesville every day who walk six miles
70 school and six back,
Among the regulations of . newly.
formed church among the Zulus in
South America was the following: "No
members of this church shall be per.
mitted to drink the white mans grog,
or native beer, or touch il with his lips
The Epongefist
The Congregational Church In Wis.
casset, Me-, is 1l0 years old, and the in
habitants say the old bell on the edilice
mas tolled for the death Of every Presi.
ient since Washington. According to
IN inscription oft, the bell was cast by
The famous Paul Revere. Boston q ODE.
The sum Of 100000 has been ex.
pended during the summer vacation in
repairs to the school buildings of Phila-
1elphia, special attention being paid to
sanitary improvements. A new system
of drainage, said 10 be the most perfect
N use. has been introduced, by which
lhe wells are flushed every night
Philadelphia Press.
I'm . report of experiments TO the
Glasgow Philosophical Society il ap.
pears that live rabbit survived an
hours exposure to a temperature of 100
degrees below zero. 1t was not frozen.
its body heat being reduced ouly to 43
degrees. Live frogs became solid in
half an hour at 80 degrees below zero,
md in two instances recovered.
"A suggestion to preachers is made
by the Bdptsf Weekly, as follows: As
an apology for the bad habit of sleeping
in church the chronological Journal
says: ITO some the steady flow of n
preachers voice is like magnetism; and
the best intentions, sustained by large
moral development, can not resist the
influence to drouse." That ''steady
flow Of the preachers voice" certainly
has good deal to do with sleeping in
church. II some preachers would vary
their tones they would have fewer
drowsy hearers.
DIR. William T. Harris maintains in
the journal Of Education that the indus
trial training In the public schools
should be in the direction of aesthetic
ornament. After asking the question,
what is the general training that will
help our foreign commerce. he replies:
"The answer Is that which the Worlds
Expositions have enforced during the
past thirty years. Improve the finish
Of your goods; educate your labor in
the correct principles Of taste and the
method Of ornamenting goods and
wares"
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
Row Noblemen Are Made.


When King Gustavus III. was In Paris
he was visited by deputation of the
Sorbonne. That learned body congrat-
hated the King on the happy fortune
which had given him SO great man as
Scheele, tho dscoverer of magnesium.
as his subject and fellow-countrymsn.
The King, who took small interest in
the progress of science, felt somewhat
ashamed that he should be so ignorant
rs never even to have heard of the re-
nowned chemist. He dispatched q
courier at orce to Sweden, with the
laconic order: "Scheele is to be imme-
iiately raised to the dignity of Count" I"
His Majesty must be obeyed," said
the Prime Minister, as he read the order,
"but who in the world is Scheeler' A
Secretary was told to make inquiries.
lie came back to the Premier with very
full information. "Schecle is good
sort of fellow" said he. "a Lieutenant
m the artillery. capital shot. aud n
iirst rate hand at billiards." The next
day the Lieutenant became Count,
and the illussrious scholar and scientist
remained a simple burgher. The error
was not discovered until the King re-
turned home. His Majesty was indig-
nant. "You must all be FOOLS" he ex-
claimed. mot TO know who Scheele isv'
lie himself had only known for three or
our weeks.-PnA Mall Gazette.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

"A teacher asked little boy "What
is hopeP" ''Its never feeling disap-
pointed" answered the child. And
this is as good an answer as some wise
men have been able to give.
Mother" asked little Felix, edo
the Indians own the railroadsP" mo,
my child" "Wcll, they've got some-
hing to do with them, l know, COS
papa said he bought his ticket Of
'scalper. - Golden Days.
did you 20 to the masquerade last
evening, Chsrlie'" "Oh. yes" What
.s'" "As 8 gentleman. "Indeedl
How in the world did you disguise your
self ?" And then the atmosphere grew
chilly. Chicago Rambler.
my DEAR" remarked an Allegheny
husband to his spouse, al see by the
papers that the Norwegian coasting
steamers carry man and his wife for q
fare and half" That is carrying
the man very cheap" replied the wife
"How SOP" "The wife Is the fair, you
know. ."-Pinsburgh Chroatcte.
-Wife-"I wish you would get your
life insured for 5000, my dear" Hus-
band-"I was thinking Of getting it in
Iured for $4,000. "Do you think you
camp" Certainly. Why
notp" Wife-.I supposed the com.
panies refused to insure anything for
more than its worth. IN Y. Times.
AT recent school examip alton, .
lecturer was introduced and began to
talk about idols. Wishing to test
whether the little learners clearly un-
derstood what he was lecturing about.
he asked: ''Children, what is an idolp'
Being lazy" was the quick response
of one of the members of the Juvenile
class.
How to please women;
The way to please a woman,
And never TO offend her,
10 to call a slim one stout
And stout one very slender.
II she happens to be short.
You must tell her she Is tall,
And IL she's rather lengthy,
Say she 10 not tall at all.
OIL Ctp Blizzard.
Was II raining very hard when
you came IMP" asked Bobby of Feather
ly, who was making an evening call
"Raining?" said Featherly, Certainly
not. The stars were out" ats
funny" continued Bobby, thoughtfully.
"Pa had q gentleman here to dinner to-
night, and heard ma say as you came
up the steps that it never rains but it
pours. Chicago Journal.
ANY quails about this neighbor
bood?" inquired a tourist as he was
about to register at a Lake George hotel
''Quails!" said the proprietor with an
indulgent smile. ''they have got to be a
nuisance. The cook complains that he
can't throw n piece OF refuse toast out
of the back window but that four or five
fat quails fight to see which one shall lie
down on it. Here. Front, show this
gentleman TO parlor AN. Y. Sun.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
A WICKED OLD CAT.

rhe old cat sat on the garden rail.
Waving her paw and wagging her tail.
Teaching her kittens to erowl and hiss
Now what do you think of cat like this,
The kittens five all sat in a row:
Whatever she did, they did Just so.
First she meowed, and then she spat
Now what do you think of cat like that,
She taught them all her wicked old plans
To lick. the cream from the dairy cans:
While TO steal the meat she said was hiiss
Now what do you think of a cat like thisi
She taught them to sing from D toF
TIL all the ncighbors were nearly deaf.
And never 10 catch a mouse or rat.
Now what do you think of a cat like that,
But her lecture didn't continue long.
For q big dog heard her teachings wrong.
He snatched her up by the end of her tail
And dropped her into the water-pail.
Aud the kittens were left to weep and wall
Chicago Tribune.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
HISTORY OF JOKES.
The Origin. Progress and Development
Of the Current Chestnut.


Of the Current Chestnut.
Ice-cream, Female Appetite for
Traces Of this joke found in the early
Aryan observation-disclosures found on
monolith at Cuuaxa, representing
male and female seated at banquet.
The female has large mound of some
edible before her. The expression on
the males face is that Of astonishmcnt
and anxiety, while he looks at q small
coin supposed to be one Of the Aryan ten
mill or common coins. On the other
side of the monclith is a group, repre-
senting one man falling down a steep
flight of steps, having evidently been
thrown by grinning group who stand
at the head of the descent DIR. Schlie.
mann thinks this spirited representation
is indicative of the fate of those who took
the ice-cream joke into Aryan news.
paper offices.
Goat and Tomato Can.-Abnormal
appetite: This is favorite with college
papers. Believed to have been brought
from Syria by the returning Crusaders
De Joinville in his Chronicles relates:
"Ye goode Kyng Richard did then ask
hys jester to tell unto hym merry fan.
tasy or tale. Thereupon We varlet in
surly mood; mystaking to be disturbed
of hys victual, did grudgingly begin:
Once upon TYNE goat feeling We
pangs Of hunger dyd go out into We field
for to find wherewithal to eat. Hys eye
did then light upon a tomato can
Angered beyond his royal patience, ye
great kyng did fetch ye jester mighty
blow wycn laid out ye varlet cold
'Gadzooks,' said his Majesty. 'dost yon
varlet think he is telling stories to my
royal greatgrandfather, ye saints rest
hys soul?'"
Mules Hoof, Examination of.-Pedro,
Of Cordova, says that this joke is found
in some of the Moorish jest books. which
the Saracens brought into Spain. II
was their merry custom to tell the cred.
ulous that each Saracen placed dia.
mond in the center Of his mules hoof,
which any one might have for the taking
out. MANY there be-" says Pedro,
who have found ye hoof. but few there
be who have found We diamond. Some
times the Saracens put soft cushion on
the hoof in order that the credulous
might not be too severely punished,
whence came the expression: "Padding
the hoof.-Boston Transcript.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
TWO NOTED MINSTRELs,
Who Have Won Fortunes and what The,
Say About stage Life.
From Stage IYhispers.


"Billy" Emerson has recently made q
phenomenal success in Australia, and Il
rich.
Emerson was born at Belfast in lsia He
began his career with Joe Sweeney's min
strels In Washington In 1851. Later on he
jumped into prominence in connection with
Newcomb's minstrels with whom he visited
Germany. He visited Australia in ie7a
and on his return to America Joined Haver-
ley's minstrels in San Francisco at 5000 q
week and expenses. With this troupe he
played before her majesty, the Queen, this
Prince of Wales, and royalty generally.
After this trip he leased the Standard
theater, San Francisco. where for three
years he did the largest business ever
known to minstrelsy. In April last he
went TO Australia again, where he has
beaten the record"
"Billy" is very handsome fellow, an
excellent singer, dances gracefully, and ID
true humorist
"Yes, sir, have travelled all over the
In contact with all sorts OF customs, and
had all sorts of experiences. One must
have a constitution like . locomotive to
stand it.
"Yes, know seem to bear 1t like a
major and l do, but l tell you candidly
that with the perpetual change Of diet,
water and climate, II had not maintained
my vigor with regular use of Warmers
Safe Cure should have gone under long
ago."
George h. Primrose, whose name Il
&nown In every amusement circle In
America, Is even more emphatic, IL possi-
BILE, than Billy" Emerson, in commenda-
tion of the same article to sporting and
travelling men generally, among whom it
Is great favorite.
Emerson has grown rich on the boards
And so hns Primrose because thev hava
sot squandered the public's "favors."
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
NO INSULT.
A Piece Of Advice Meant for the Inquir.
srs Good.

A Piece Of Advice Meant for the Inquir.
sr's Good.
II was looking for the Health Office
yesterday" he said as he halted a pa.
trolman, ''to ask the doctors what
should do to keep the cholera of, wher
Imet man who said he had a boss
remedy. He advised me to lie in warm
bran-mash for twenty-four hours, and
then to hire two men to sandpaper and
scrub me f4r half day. ldidn't know
whether to construe 1t rs an insult OF
not. Would you?"
The officer looked at his long hair,
greasy face. dirty hands and ragged
clothes, and answered.:
II think he meant it for your good.
"Did, ehp That relieves my mind
more than can tell. can't carry Out
this suggestion, owing to lack Of funds,
but I'll go as far as can. III borrow
your handkerchief for towel aud 90
down to the market and wash my face
in cold water. ."-Dstroit Free P;'ssa
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

An Indian headstope, about the size
Of large water pitcher, and similar in
shape. except that the top is oval, was
found in the Honsatonic River lately by
resident of Brooktield, Conn. On the
oval shape part are wrought two distinct
hieroglyphics. Experts pronounce it
one Of tho finest specimens of Indian
headstones in The country. Hartford
Post.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

THE voLrAIc BELT Co., of Marshall, Mich,
offer to send their celebrated ELECTRO Vol
rAIC BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES
On trial for 80 days, TO men tvoung or old)
Afflicted with nervous debility, loss fvital-
ity and all kindred troubles. Also for rheu.
matism, ,neuralgia, parsly sis, and many 9TH
or diseases. Complete estoration TO health.
vigor, and manhood guaranteed. No risk in
surred, as 30 days trial is allowed. Write
them at once for illustrated pamphlet, free
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
WHEN is bet like a cranki When 1t ID
declared "off."
$500 Not Called For.

1t seems strange that 1t is necessary &c
persuade men that you can cure their dis
eases by Offering a premium TO the man
who fails to receive benefit. And yet DIR.
Sage undoubtedly cured thousands Of cases
Of obstinate catarrh with his "Catarrh
Remedy who would never have applied
10 him, II it had not been for his offer Of
she above sum for an incurahle case. Wht
Is the next bidder for cure or cash?
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

Never be discouraged by triHes. II
a spider breaks his thread twenty times,
he will mend II as many. Perseverance
and patience will accomplish wonders
WhitekaW Iynlss.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

Mrs. Mason--It's no use, Mrs. Ma
son, for you to offer any ice cream ts
nv husband. He never eats ice cream
Mrs. Nason-Is thatsop Why he's just
like Mason, isn't hep Mason never ssts
cab5ass. .--Semmyjlh yswrnas
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

= Rupture, pile tumors, flstulas,
and all diseases Except cancer) Of the
lower bowel radically cured. Book OF par.
ticulars two lotter stamps. Worlds Dispen.
sary Medical Association, Buffalo, N Y.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

PIKE's sTooTHAcHE DROPS cure In minute, 25c
Gsnns Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. 25c
SxRMAN Conn REMOVER kills Corns Bunions
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

ANYBODY can play a hand -organ, but
that is no reason why anybody should.--
SomerUille Journal. ..t
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

No ONE ever hears any complaint Of .
misfit when an old house tries on coat Of
paint.--Detroit Free Press.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
A wonderful Freak of Nature

is sometimes exhibited in our public exhi-
bitions. Wien we gaze upon some OF the
indulges in, our minds revert back to the
creation OF man, "who is so fearfully and
wonderfully made" The Mysteries OF his
nature have been unravelcd by Dr.. X. v.
Pierce, of Buffalo, and through his knowl-
edge Of those mysteries he has been able
% prepare his "Golden Medical Discov.
ery," which Is a specific for all blood taints,
poisons and humors, such as scrofula, pim-
pies, rlotches, eruptions, swellings, tumors,
ulcers and kindred affections. By druggists.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
CANCER Of the TONGUE.
A Case Resembling That Of General Grant.

Some ten years ago had scrofulous sore on my
right hand. and With the oldtimc treatment u healed
concentrated In cancer eating through ny cheek, -
the top o. my left cheek b09s and TO the left sys
gone could not talk. On October nrst 1854 com
menccd taking swifrs Specific. In month the eat
fearful aperture In my cheef has been cissed and
nrmly knitted together. new under lip y pro.
tongue. lean talk that my friends can readily ~.
derstsnd me, and can also eat solid food again.
Of ths district and to DR.. T. Bradncld Of aQrnneS
Ga. AIRS. NARY l.. COMEUs
La0range, Ga. May "A. 1895. tll
Treatise on blood and Skin Diseases mailed free.
TnE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co., Drawer 4 Atlanta O.
N. ". 157 w. I'D 81,
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

IF afflicted with Sore Eyes, use Or. Isaac
rhompsons Eye Water. Druggists sell 1t. &c.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

THE locks on q door are worn perfectly
plain. 1t Is the door that 10 banged =.
Ionkers Statesman.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
Young Men, Read This.

IT is said the oldest record In the con.
sular service is that Of the man who wae
Ut Victoria, B. C.-The Judge.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
Men Think

they know all about Mustang LIN
iment. Few do. Not to know y
not to have.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
"Hurry up, Maria! There's another

"Hurry up, Maria! There's another
carriageful goin' over to Haverford to
hear Saul sing basso profondo," called
the jovial undertaken to his wife. "And
il it ain't-T'm blessed IL it ain't!--the
Deacon and Mis- Kittredge settin' up ~
pert as lizard" Sophie S,ceet, in Har
pv's BoSar.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17
EIY'0
CREAM BALM

when applied into the
nostrila, VIII be absorb
cd. effectually cleans
ing the o head Of catarrh.
al Virus. causing heal
thy secretions. II al.
lays Inflammation. pro-
tects the membrane
from fresh colds. com
pletely heals the sores
and restores the senses
OF taste and smell.
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

"steavS'b " S"S'i'
A few applications re
lieve. A thorough freat'
nent tcli cure. Agree
able to use. Price tf
The Osceola times., 1885-10-17

come in, and its warmer and not so lone
some in the kitchen"
So into the kitchen Mrs, Kittre dge
went, with the precious letter hidden un-
der her little worsted cape, although
there was nobody to see but SauIs Old
gray cat. lineal descendant of the one
that had brought up her family in old
Mr.. Hollis coffin.
1.-The deacon's so strict lately that he
don't want letter carried as far as the
sit.in' room; but goodness knows l only
want to make out that postmark.
The kitchen was large room with
windows on two sides. Mrs. Kittredge
carefully pulled down the curtains OF
two windows whose outside blinds were
not closed; they were not used to com.
ing down, and made very bard work of
it. which seemed to give her a guilty
feeling.
ats no harm to try to make out a
post,nsrk, and everybody isn't ike
Huldy TO want all creation starin at
'em.H she said, aloud. She sat down by
the table, turned up the kerosene lamp
adjusted her spectacles. and gave her,
SELF up to the study of the outside OF
Tidy Slocomb's letter.
The postmark was so blurred tnat
scarcely a letter was distingulshaple.
She held the letter up before the lamp.
Her conscience gave twinges, but one
could never discover any secrets In that
way-only stray word here and there;
One could not discover anything, alas'
in this letter; the envelope was too thick.
or the outside Of the paper was NOT
Was il Saul's writing' The capital
letters did not look like his. II she
could see only one word OF tn: lnside'
She turned the letter over. Inc en-
velous had not stuck together al tne
way a.ross; she slid her finger in' not
| to open it-only enough to ses' per-
chance. word
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-10-14
THE DEAD CARDINAL.
Lying in state in The Ca,hedraI.

Lying IN Sthto IN inc Nothc0Eehs
New YORK, October ia crowd
of people gathered about the doors
of the cathedral this morning and
waited for the moment when the pub
lie could enter the sacred edifice and
look upon the remains OF Car din:l
McCloskey. When their patience
was nearly exhausted procession
emerged from the bishops resi-
dence and proceeded slowly aud en-
tered the cathedral by the south tran
sept door. Six undertaker's men
bore the body of the cardinal and be-
hind them came q body of priests
headed by Arch-Bishop Corrigan,
Monseigneurs Vim, Farley and Pres
ton, Rev. DIR. Mcdonnell, the last
named acted as master OF ceremonies.
The procession moved down the
south aisle and went through the
main vestibule and center aisle where
the platform aud catafalque had been
decorated. The body Of the cardinal
was dressed In full ecclesiastical
clothing; candles burned at the cor.
ners of the catafalque and a guard Of
four men from the st. Vincent De
Paul society stood near the catafalque
When the doors were at length
thrown open the crowd quietly filled
the center aisle passing along oil
either side and the people, after view
ing the remains, left the church b!
another exit