The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-08

q daughter Of the late ex Governor Shannon, OF
Kansas, who was also minister to Mexico and q
representative in Congress. The Duke Alexis
paid considerable attention to Mrs. Walsh when
he visited the United States, and she has always
been noted in social circles for her hospitality
and affable manners.
Mrs. General Foster, whose husband is United
States minister to SPAIN has fortune in her
own right worth fully $3.50, 600. Her entertain
ments are models Of elegance.
prospective heiress is Miss Christmas now a
school girl at Virginia institution, who is q
niece of the late Mrs. Myra Clark Gaines. It is
estimated that her future fortune will be in the
neighborhood of 100000.
WHIMSICALITIES.
Nothing for Indiana.
If l were an Indiana man,
I'd travel the wide world Ger;
But one place there is I'd never scan--
For Hooser it opes no door.
From Washington let me stay away;
From there let me read no news.
I'll stay away till my hair is gray
And teeth l no longer
louisville Courier:Journai.
Secretary Whitney's First Order.
Chicago Times
The new Secretary of the Navy will now issue
the following general ORDER No. l: Never at
tempt to fill Kerosene lamp when it is lighted
Appropos of the Roller Craze.
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
"Just comet"
eyes. Been here longl'
Not too long, just -
'Are you hurt}'
tho, mol"
A Very Easy Position.
Philadelphia Call.
Hello, Brown Struck job yet9s
Yes; I'm collecting"
''Ah! What are you collectingl'
my thoughts"
You were always lucky dog
Where's the luck now?"
In striking so easy job. Morning"
Would Like to See the Smoke House.
Louisville Commercial.
Il have just bought 10000 barrels of pork
remarked a well-known SPECTATOR, as he came
out OF Mainstreet bucket-shop yesterday
morning
Good Lord" said a rural Hoosier who had
overheard the spectators remark, I'D give $40
jest ter see that thar mans smoke house."
Patti Had the Cain.
''Your trip through Kansas was not very prof
liable to us this season, Mr. B." said the head Of
the house to his travelling agent, who had just
returned from the West
mo" Mr. B. replied, II struck the State about
the same time Patti did, and when Kansas peo-
pie can get Italian opera they don't care for
hardware"
Winning Wager.
New York Sun.
Poor John was so fond of gambling, said q
bereaved widow His last bet was $50 that
he could eat three hundred CLAIMS in twenty
minutes"
''Did he win the betl"
eyes, he won the bet sighed the widow, "but
the money didn't do us any good. 1t took every
cent of it to bury him.
InaugurationaI.
The Stubs family at the ball-Mrs. S.: ''Now,
then, Matilda Jane, look your prettiest; the
Presidents bachelor, you know. If your pa
gets the postofice an Seth gets into the custom
heouse, an Mary Susan into the Treasury, there's
no telin' but what you might fill the vacancy in
the White Heouse. My! an then wouldn't we
just cut igger in Stubbsvillel"
A Wicked Editor.
Philadelphia Call.
Irate Subscriber want to see the fellow that
wrote this article.
Western Office Boy-Must been the editor,
guess sgSs .nnno,. w,.ro :, b, w,...
sayI1
,''oh,. he amt in, amt he' Amt in eh1 Well.
"
called to see him on Monday"
1t Made Difference.
Philadelphia Call.
Mrs Minks-The nurse seems to have trouble
with baby tonight. He is crying yet.
Mr.. Minks-Yes, bless his little heart. won
der what ailS him.
Mrs. -Minks-Oh! Nothing serious How
sweetly shrll his voice is! So clear and musical
Mr.. Minks-Yes, but bark! Those sounds
through the walls from the next house.
Mrs. Minks-Mercy! So they do. Why cant
people have sense enough to give their squalling
brats paregoric something, instead of letting
them yell like screech-owls."
Inauguration Pie.
Hartford Post
These political ups and downs interest the
folks at home, especially the children, more than
is ordinarily noticed.
81 will take one more piece of that Inaugural
ton pie, if you please, said Jimmy Tuffboy, as
he showed his plate under the nose Of the dis
penser Of patronage.
Keep your plato down, you young Democrat
These are the days of 'Jeffersonian simplicity
and only one piece OF pie"
''Watyergivinus? That's played out. ye1er-
sonian simplicity today means the 'grandest
most regal passing out of pie with two plums in
every piece-and pudding thrown in"
''You see," remarked his mother, quietly,
James reads the papers,"
He Wanted Only One Suspender.
Detroit Free Press
About a week ago stranger entered cloth
store on Michigan avenue and asked for one
second hand suspender. The dealer looked at
him for something less than half an hour and
then broke out with: "What blaze do you daka
me forl Oof keep some second hand suspend
ers, do you suppose / cut 'em apartl Isn't it
your object to oblige the publicl" asked the man.
II likes to sell goods, of course, butnobody comes
in here und asks me for one pant
leg" Certainly not, but this is a different
case. Some men wear two suspenders-
some one. l belong to the one-suspender class
of humanity. So did Shakespeare, milton,
Byron Dickens, and others. Is it right for you
to cater to one class and exclude the other3s
II sells you one pair of suspenders at cost" 81
never buy what don't want. want one sus.
nender and III not take pair ..Yhell I don't