Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-12-16
NEWSPAPER WI r.

morse gentleman TO anOGnof. 1eS'
Chow much?" Didn't buy any
pools New Orleans Picayune.
TEAcHER-How did you read that
line, Johnny? Johnny-Our cat has
got kittens. Teacher-No, Johnny,
not a kittens. Johnny-Well, then,
our cat has got pups.
FOREMAN (reading from the type)
'Here is this Bulgarian problem.
What shall we do with this ?" Night
editor "Don't ask me any such ques-
tions, am not the puzzle editor. y
The Graphic.
''HUsH, Johnny" admonished the
mother as the scion Of the family grew
clamorous FOR something to eat; ''you
must remember that older people
take precedence at the table," ''Let
'em take preceedins; want some of
the mullins! % shouted Johnny.
Miss S.-Ah, Mr.. St. John, you have
been out shooting. What sort of luck
did you have? Mr.. ST. J.-Well, |
scared up seven partridges. Miss S.
How many did you shoot? Mr.. st. j.
Il did not bag any, of course, for
had my sniping suit on, don't you
Knoxville.
A LITTLE boy sat in the front-row
seat at a theater just beside the
French horn player In the orchestra.
Presently the horn man played a solo,
and the blood rushed up and down his
face and neck. "Look, ma, look!"
cried the boy; "see the music running
up and down the back of that mans
neck"
PROF. WIENERACHUITZEL-I Was 60
ing to give me peneft concert. Could
I sold you few tickets? Won dollar
each. Victim-Yes; you may give ten
tickets. Prof. We'll, | tell you vot
do. You give me fife dollars unit |
won't give me no concert. Den We both
make money; amt it, Chicago
Ram bier.
DEACON BUCRAG had been invited to
address the Sunday school and, as he
was a poor talker, plunged at once
into the story of Jonah and the whale.
stNow, dear children" he concluded
els not that nice story? ?" "Yessir, !"
replied one of the smallest of the dear
children, ''it's a nice story, but it's a.
chestnut New York Times.
AT a reception given by German
prince, q gentleman was introduced,
who said to the potentate: 'I was
not present, your highness, yesterday
when the officials had the pleasure of
being introduced to your excellency."
Prince (haughtily): ''To be intro
duced to me, sir, is an honor. It is
no pleasure" $50 perceive. File
gende Batter.
Young Mr.. De LYLE Tin the conser-
vatory present you with a
bud, Miss Societie, from this beautiful
plant? Miss Societie (blushing) -Oh,
thank you, Mr.. De Lyle. You are
very Fairy of the household "trip
ping in)-I guess papa wouldn't like
you to pick any of the flowers, Mr..
De Lyle; they are only rented for this
eyening.-New York Sun.
ssIr is a curious custom the Japan
csc have, nv DEAR" remarked a hus-
band, 'sof taking off their shoes when
entering the house." f'The custom is
curious" replied the lady, Gin the fact
that it is practiced at all hours in
stead of at night only" and the hus-
band said Eyes ?'' with a rising infec-
ton which was about all that he
could say.--New York Sun.
A LITTLE 4-year old girl was put to
bed in the third-s5ory of her home and
left, as usual, in the dark. A terrific
thunderstorm came up, and her
mother, thinking that the child would
be frightened at the lightning, went
to her. On entering the child called
out with delight, Mammal The wind
blew the sun up just now; did you see
it?' Fear had no entrance there
Detroit Free Press.
DWELL, sis, what does your mother
want to borrow now?" asked a good
natured housewife OF neighbor's child
who stood at the door with an empty
CUP. "Please ma am, ma would like
to borrow a cup of meal an she wants
your receipt for Thanksgiving puddins
an she says if your Billy comes into
our ward again she'll just shake his
boots off +" That cup went back emp
ty.-Hartford Post.
ssWHAT wild and reckless leaps were
those of Sam Patch at Genesee Falls ~
said q lady to young Threadbrain.
"Aw-Sarm Patchi jumped at the
falls. Ell? Did he jump up or down ~
Jumped over them-dOwn, you know.
He jumped over them twice and killed
himself 'sWeally! Jumped twice
and killed himself Avoid he kill
himself the first or second Time ne
jumped ?''-Drake's Travellers Maya
zine.
He. tat a Boston hotel table,
Mary, do you know where that line
comes from, eClerk, draw a deed Of
gift ?" It's been running in my head ali
night, and | can't place it. She-Let
me see; no, can't recall it just now.
Waitress (who has overheard -Mer
chant of e-beefsteak-Act w.
ham and eggs Scene Lamb chops
Shakespeare and Bacon. He-Guess
we'll have bacon this morning.-Tid
Bits.