Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-02-12
THE DAM NUISANCE AGAIN.


sarce coiilmuhiCdtlol, " WHICH hc ~ W.
diallv invites a response from me, | can only
plead nv overlooking charity for the coicn-
els delicate situation, which ! know he Will
appreciate when ! express my regrets that
ainging few random missiles at this grand
columniation OF nuisances, one, or combi-
nation of them should have struck him with
a terrible maiady-" h-y-p-e-r-e:b-o-i-l-c-a-i-
c-y-c-lo-n-e" This is a new disease to me,
and adds An additional terror TO the cOntin-
uance of this dam nuisance, for, frcn the
neculiar relation of the colonel TO il (being
located both at its head and its tail), we
might expect to find in him its first victim.
Nov. the past general offiictions of this stu
penduous abominator has been IN the belly,
but mysteriously il has struck the colonel in
the head. This may in part be accounted
fer in the accepted fact that all sudden dis
eases strike their victims in the weakest
place, and vet by the rule Of bis beautiful
but somewhat obscure diction We can scarce
" trace the connection. This, however, as
II may be, Is a souce al proiund
concratulation that be reports con-
vale-cence set it, and il the hope
that he has sufficiently recovered from his
stroke of h-y-p-e-r-b-o-l-a-x to entertain
calmly gentle and modest reply
to his defense of this dam fool
nuisance, which defense proves It's
own failure in It's ungenerous criticism OF
the mishaps Of a poor printer boy, VINO
weary with the fatiguing vigils Of midnight
labor, made two or three Typographical err
rors in our communication, these the col
olel crasps with all the avidity of an acute
h-v-p-e-b-o-l-i-c-a-l hal!ucination, and there
on. in whole column of the EAGLE, Tex
cept II little free advertising Of hydraulic
four attempts TO justify the confluence Of a
death striking pestilence before the minds OF
sixteen thousand people, all Of whom daily
hurl their anathemas against this sinking
abomination. and here is where the stroke of
his h-y-p-e-r-o-b-o-l-a-x manifests itself in
the most violent form-this disease Is surely
to be dreaded among adults, as in this first
victim il seems only 20 attack the big head.
We may hope our children may scape II.
This disease may be more acute in the wane
of the moon. Some diseases are. but Us this
is 4 new one, and the esteemed colonels
communication WAS the offspring Of the
pullet egg he incubated from our
previous communication and il would
not cacklc intelligently, We recon-
mend him to try next an older hen,
or perhaps ducks egg, If he can find one
in his putrid dam not rotten from which by
the acute strategy of which he seems com
petentl he might incubate a sosling, which
if il have less brains, would have bigger feet
and hence broader foundation with which
to perambulate his dam putrid bog, where
by careful training in the increase Of the
moon (be careful about that the duck or
goose into which of either it may develope,
may quack or honk in more lucid argument
in defence of his dam abomination, and also
being Of smaller head may avert or better
resist possible attack Of H-y-p-e-r-o-b-o-
l-i-x. consumation most devoutly TO be
wished. Now finding we have only reached
the third line of the colonel's beautiful com
munication. out Of both mercy and respect
to your numerous, we viii pass MS long col
umn of attempted irony and sarcasm (the
common refuge of defence!ess cause) for
future reference. and briefly reply to some
Of bis distorted statements 10 screen this
abomination from the indignation in has
Justly engendercd in the minds Of our pco-
pie.
Now, the colonel knows, and If he does
not know any man, woman or child he may
meet on the corner Of the street will tell
him, in reply to his many absurd declare
lions,
/. The Commodore" don't want any dam
anywhere in the Little river.
,. That not one quart Of water has ever
flown OYER the Sullivan dam, where his hy-
draulic mill has been operating al any ordi-
nary or low stage of water.
3. That manufactures on - stream return
ing its waters therrinto after use, are no de-
plction to the current of the stream.
I. That this mill can be run on the same
| fsN-i1 " Tti'diti tstaiA 'tl fsiifi INNS
are successfully run upon and is now being
adopted at Minneapolis and elsewhere,
| here large Touring mills exist.
3. That it J. ''reccnt information to our
people that through the especial existence
Of this Hydraulic Mill that our farmers
get almost st. Louis prices for their wheat.
G. That although the munilficent advan-
tage of running this mill without cost of
fuel for power. their price of flour Is no,
lower that other manufactures OF our city.
Z. That body of men, seeking
or accepting sworn public trust,
are reereant and culpable when
they fail to respect and pro-
tect every interest pertaining to the trust
confded 10 their stewardship, and that Meth
er an interest in pills, prescriptions, water
stock, or hydraulic four-howcver attained
will justify a derelic,ion of duty, nor can
they evade them without "A shadow of sus-
picion resting upon the public mind.
5. That our continent is now menaced
with alarms of contagious disease, and that
10y 10y ili iHiN I A4''ai - !bl -iI itNtti tt
all impurities conducive to a visit from cpl
denies.
9. That no intelligence can read the faith
ful exposition Of the recent Kentucky cpi-
demic and It's certain cause. without liking
it unto cur own malarious waters and their
cause.
10 That the stately commodore" ever
received with courteous regard the recoCui-
ton Of every honest man. woman, or child,
IF whatever color OF condition of life who
does him the compliment Of salutaiion.
II. That !; i both unbecomiug and in
modes; in a comparatively new fedCIjug to
rudely and unfairly criticise an old respect
ed and Oft honored citizen for the issue Of
modest dcmur to the destruction of an in
tercst In which he has invested bis entire
fortune, and which. by another fall, if no
steps are taken to remove the filth from the
river. viii be entirely DESTROYED through the
dam operation OF this aforesaid ilcdcliug:
whilst the operations Of this gentleman dis
tributes more money annually among the
poor laborcrs and commercial interests Of
this city than the hydraulic mills DO IN MANY
wears. and pays also liberal city tax. which