The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1885-1888, 1885-09-14
WASHINGTON, d. c., SEPT. II, 1ss,
"DIsTRICT BIRTHMAnKs".
Says a Washington correspondent

AFNg ~ W h'iAiii i-N N'ii W. l''iA'''''' f'
the Pittsburg Dipatch;
The most invetcratc Office hunters are
residents Of the District Of Columbia. To
have been horn In the District Is to have
been born with an uuducnchablc thirst for
office. One on both Of the parents have
held Office IN the Departments and the babe
is nurtured ON Government milk. Under
powerful microscope | presume the signili-
cant letters at. ). IT, might be found mi
nutoly repeated on lis infantile cpcrdcrmis.
IL 1t is u boy he Is raised from the cradle to
clerkslip as a matter Of course. If a
yirl she will be running after ''inilucncc'
ON her own hook as quick rs she is IN her
teens.
Once in awhile a Washington news
paper correspondent is afflicted with
rush of bile instead of brains to the head,
and relieves the pressure on his occiput
by inditing a screcd againstthc old resi-
dents Of the Capital City. The above
romance from the Diypatch must have
originated in the mudded Uranium of
its correspondent while che, she or it,
was agonizing in contortion of indi-
gestion resulting from ovcr-indulgence
at free-lunch counter
Hundreds of political and other ad-
venturcrs, with no status or character
at home, drift to Washington, intrigue
and receive appointments under the
Government and are entered upon the
appointment rolls rs from the District
of Columbia, and the District is held
sponsor for their fitness and character
The citizens proper of the Capital
City are not Office seekers or place.
hunters, but devote their time and at,
tention to their several business ayoca-
lions, and THE CRuIC brands the
above extract as sl0ndcr of the most
malcvolent and yellow. iaundiced sort
This calls to our mind case which
occurred here during President Lin
coins administration. A certain person
in Minnesota, by his lawlcss acts, dis
reputable conduct and pure cusscdncss
generally, had made himself so often
sive to the community in which he
domiciled that the citizens, with rigor-
ous Western emphasis, addressed him
u letter, advising that it would be to
his interest TO leave that town forth
with, and TO stand not upon the order
Of his going, but to go at once, or they
would inflict personal chastisement to
thc Disagreement of his personal APP
pearance and convey him out of their
jurisdiction in manner of conveyance
of very primitive character.
The communication was signed by n
large number of the leading citizens,
The lawless advcnturer accepted the
situation, pockctcd the citizens letter
and moved upon Washington, where
he arrived during the early part of the
war. The condition of affairs here at
the time afforded an opportunity to dis
play a stroke Of his genius, With the
check and assurance of Il fresh news
paper correspondent at the Capitol,
who commences his screcds by abusing
Washington and its bona fide residents,
this schemer drew up an application,
addressed to the President, for his ap-
pointment rs justice of the peace for
the District of Columbia, and to it at
tached that portion of the Minnesota
letter containing the signatures of the
prominent citizens who had warned
him to leave their town, presented it to
the President rs his Endorsement for the
position sought and actually received
his commission He opened his Office
on Sixth street near Louisiana avenue,
and carried on business for some time
before the fraud was discovered, which
was finally disclosed by the visit here
of persons from the town in Minnesota
from which he had been expelled who,
surprised at finding him holding judi.
cial position under the Government
made inquiry into the matter with the
result as herein stated
The residents of the District rs
usual, were held responsible for the
appointment, 1t is about time Tho
proper Determinations were made,