Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-21
Silt gake 9emutrat.
WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 81. 1885
WALL0WING In ELEGANCE.
Two Mountaineers Who Try Hotel
Life for n Time.

Olu cOIIy SIOSScuG Ildu QOC Doon east OF
the Rockies since '49 until he and his old
pard, Fat Bill, pulled up at the Hotel
Ryan the other day. AS he glanced up
at the magnificent facade he remembered
what he had read about the great cara
vansary In the remote mountain camp,
and he involuntary murmured: SIT air
an imposing pile, William. It's built in
what them newspaper fellers call the
Quinine style, and just beats all for
health"
"Do you wish to be shown toyour apart
ment row?" said the urbane clerk, as
they registered.
"Nary show" said the old man, reflect
lively.
II think 1 understand you," said the
clerk, smiling. eve will try and make
you comfortable, misunderstanding at
the register)-Mr. Crosscut.
Eyes, it air Crosscut-the same. You
can read writin, very slick, but comfort
able won't do. We air goin' to wallow
in elegance-like it is advertised in the
papers. Do you catch my drift"
81 think | understand you. You wish
to live high. I'll put you on the sixth
floor if you wish"
CHOW you are talkin'. There is moth
in too high for u.s., and nothin' too rich
for our blood. We follow the rules. We
deposit our waluables in the safe, and
you must follow the small bills. Here is
my pocketbook; you can prize that at
$4,000. No, we don't want to leave our
suspenders. We amt tenderfeet. Our
suspenders is alongside our swaddling
clothes. Here, take this small gun Gun
strapping revolver). Put 'leving thous-
and on it; wouldn't sell it cent less"
"You don't expect us to pay such
prices for this junk-shop truck, do you?
You couldn't collect $40 in the courts on
all of it,"
Never mind the coorts. I'll collect it
if the things is lost. I'll keep this gun
with me. Now, my young friend, you
can bring on your sable. African niger"
"Jim, show these gentlemen to No.
AL"
eyes, show us to No. All, and don't
miss fgger. You hit it just right or thar
will be war;
"You mustn't mind Jerry" said Fat
Bill to the clerk. He's been sort O.
suspicious-like, and keeps his back to the
wall ever since he killed Shady Noun
tain Mosley; but he will get used to the
place after while"
'I-I don't mind it," said the clerk
neryously; 'he seems to be very nice
man, but little peculiar"
eyes, he are bloody peculiar bloody
peculiar"
Gifts cage-that's what, ;" emarked
the old man, as the elevator started.
"They are going to hist us to the upper
level. Keep your signal ropes tightyoung
Teller. Lord Many's the time we had
to crawl into the timber when the ropes
hez been tangled. We hev traveled-we
hev-eh, Billy?"
Now, African" said Jerry, as he pro-
ceeded to unGress, after reaching Ali,
"you stand in that corner, and when 1
give the signal you smother them
lamps"
81 kin put out the gas" suggested
Fat Bill. ''The niger can 60 and send
up bokay of sweet violets to remember
hisself by"
"You can't put out no gas for me, Will
liam. There is more'n million people
smothered every year by knowing too
much about tavern gas. There is a knack
about it which we amt on to. Now,
Sable, kill the lights, and mind that no
fire starts in this joint tonight. We hold
you strictly responsible. I'll cut your
liver-colored heart out through the small
of your spotted back if I hear whimper
before mornin' louder than the moanin'
of the wind. Do you sense me?'
"Lord, boss Does you suppose Use 60
ing to burn the hotel up a purpose?"
"You may be all right, but suspicion
ye."
In the morning the old man awoke, and
he saw the annunciator with the usual le-
gend written under it.:
l Ring for Bell Boy.
Rings for Ice Water.
Rings for Porter.
"Bin," said he, edo you see them re-
marks on the wall: Two rings for ice
water, three rings for porter?' How
many rings will it take, wonder, to
bring red likker? Touch her off on por-
ter for starter"
Fat Bill reached out of his bed and
complied with the request, when the por-
ter came.
"Well, boss?"
'tI knowed they wouldn't follow the
small bills. Jest see that snuff-colored
cannibal, William where is the Oriental
cuspidor filled with porter? Where is the
solid gold plate, with incense and cigars
on it? African, you go down the shaft
/ again, and you tell the superintendent to
put his ear to our telephone, and mind
! the small bills"
The clerk went up shortly afterward
and found the old man plugging the an
nunciator with his revolver at six PAGES.
"See him, William-see the liver-col-
ored pointer! Where is your alabaster
jug of precious ointment? Where is the
Egyptian snake plate, filled with sea bis
cult? You call this living high? Blank
me if don't plug every telephone in this
house,"
But he didn't, as the police took him
away murmuring that if he had another
gun he wouldn't be ''took alive. "-S.
Paul Northwest Magazine.
THE DIET OF AN ATHLETE.