New-York tribune., 1885-02-28
TIE T1LK OF TIE DAY 2.

TIE TALK OF THE DAY.
Another plumber has fire q building in this city,
though his instructions simply referred to thswing out
the pipes In the cellar When his bill is presented
1t be hoped he will make special charge for
this oyer-wOrk
There has recently been discovered on Star Island
Isles of shoals singular hole In the solid granite ledge
the island just above hghwater marx Ia front OF the
iee house II is five feet six Inches deep ana Two Ieet
three Inches IN diameter perfectly circisr anu Win ht
smooth Sides apparently the work OF human hanis put
yet explained It was packet soily with pebbles and
gravel when discovered and has been trodden ever
thousands Of times by fishermen and former resi- Tents OF
the Island ald summer visitors without its existence
being detected -Portsmouth (N H. Chronicle
The newspaper humorist has his own peculiar trials
His best paragraphs are unnotcei until isorne praca
sheet prints them original matter Then they are
copied from Dan to Peersheba the pirate receiving
credit, when credit Is given.
How TO make Anarchists. Ono small hall over beer
a saloon keeper who will trust for beer.
Three four loafers who VIII discuss the labor ques
one long haired crank to curse the rich;
little red flag 10 the signal for gore; an old
undcrshrt will do.
lot of azy iders who desplse work and can hurrah
for the destruction Of everything -lLousvllle Coin
mercal.
II looks littl, as though tho Democracy would
be beaten lack aud blue by Mr.. Cleveland. One-half
the party will be black with Indignation aud the other
half viii be blue with Disappointment
As Butler covers behind his fence
or sand ut Abu-klea &.
How he wishes the Arabs would fold thcir tents
But the Yahdl toys with his bow-strIng tense
-:lPmladelphia Record.
Not long ago gentleman advertised in The London
Morning Post requesting the return Of his cape, which
he charitably explained had taken by mistake.
Evidently the request unheeded for in few days
afterward the following notice appeared: Hang 1t!
What DO you mean by not returning my cape You
took IT, you know did Thursday last January 30
Send 1t to No. los onsow Square at once"
Every co-vIct in the OHIO Penentiary is compelled to
write an essay zach month The management hoped In
Is 10 get at some Of the secrets OF the profession,
but have been t.apPolatsd tsus far TO nnd nearly an
catalogues OF Dir. Clevslands et-lBurlmgton
Free Press.
Mr. Cleveland ought to know" says Henry Waiter
he the he learns the better.
that there Is West. already most powerful and
growing. whose jealousy OF the proscrptve narrowness
and vulgar grccness OF the East Is steadily increas
Ing" Henry have been asking the Presidentelect
to hound OF the Western States; but II is real
OF him to expose Mr. Cevelands ignorance in that way
A Western paper had an article on The Original
Oyster" and the editor ofa rival contemporary suppos
ing that the article 10 question usual rcnecticD
upon himself sUod the obnoxious Journal for libel -
burlington Free Press.
No wonder complaint is made OF the wretched ventila
tion the House In view OF all the that escapes
during sessions the odd thing is that the House has not
asphy xiated itself long ago.
"1he delegates to recent woman's suffrage conven-
tlon In Washington Territory said to have been the
most sunningly dressed women Ia tho Territory"
because he is dressed Ia rather than In fine
Euesh suitngi Go to! what is sauce for the gander
he also the proper sauce for thebog pardon, for
| tho woman sufragist. = Boston Transcript
In view OF the ma0y parts no played IA the comedy
OF life. how would it do to call him Rolling W Squire
Even religious journals occasionally slip into typo
graphical that ludorous Here is that has
roconty appeared: A" In Dr. TaylOr's hands the old
Prodga Son have new meanings" coin was meta
iphosed into cow-an example OF a stranger than
Darwnian evolution. - Lowell Courier
The women OF Wyoming said IL he MP in arms
against the proposition that Mr. Cleveland shall make
Delegate NJ. L. Post Governor OF that Territory Mr.
Post is such little that tho Dight be Ooni-
passionate and forgive him his sex.
JOHN BULLS soLTLoQUY.
When first heard OF the Prophet False
said to myself, SAID |.
Across the seas to Soudan I'll waltz,
Said to myself, said l.
I'll laugh at tho deserts fierce simoom,
III breathe on the Mahdl's little boom,
And carry the fragments into KhartOum.
Said to myself. said l.
When got foot on the upper Milo.
Said | to myself, said |.
I'll Just sit down and perspire while,
Said | to myself, said l.
And as sat- my good right toe
Was cut clean OF ut one fell blow;
Said to myself, said l.
I'll send right home for my other foot.
Said to myself, said l.
And ri put on my heaviest hob nailed boot.
Said | to myself. said |.
And I'll kick this man and his Arab crew
From the tckle Nile TO the ocean blue
But II he'd kick me, what should dot
-IColumbus tohio, Dispatch.