davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25
Ten Thopsand pollars for a prlnk


"You may not believe il, but | one,
paid $4,000 for a drink of whisky
said corporal on duty at the arsenal
in the mess room the other day. The
talk had turned to war prices and
some pretty steep figures were men.
toned. No one believed the corporal
and all laughed. But the corporal
braced up and said:
"When left Petersburg in '65 i
had $4,000 in Confederate scrip. II
was as cold as blazes and a fellcr got
warm thinking Of whisky. I was
hard up for drink, aud as ! had
been reading paper on the delicious
liquor, my mind wandered to it. Be-
fore had gone far | met travelling
whisky saloon on wheels. Yes, a sut.
Ter, you know. That's what we call
ed them. l hadn't a cent except the
scrip, but l just went up and says:
"'Sutler, have you any good whis-
kyY That l have says he. We'll,
if you will give me good drink,
says I, I'll give you 100000 We'll,
you should have seen him smile. He
knew it was a gag, but just to see
the thing out he filled me cup full
of tanglefoot, which drank with a
relish, you bet. Then l gave him
$4,000. / offered the other $4,000,
but he had been there. ."-Washing-
ton Republican.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

your pistols ready and fire together
when say three; | want to get in all
the flashes"
Well, as were going to say, this
same Scudberry was engaged to girl
named Plifey, and somehow had got
the idea into his head that Amelia
her name was Amelia, and she wore a
number four shoe, which is mighty
good for Marysville girl-was un-
true to him; in fact, that she was en-
couraging the attentions Of a dry
goods clerk named Boggs.
So Scudberry, having just received
an automatic clockwork attachment
to his apparatus, carried his machine
over to his fnancee's house on pre-
tense of taking the pictures of the
family. He took Amela's mother in
the act of spanking the badly; he
took the baby in the act of swallow
ing pin; took the cat in the act Of
catching mouse; took dinner and
then took his leave. Scudberry ex-
planned that he was to he out Of town
that evening and asked that his cam
era be allowed to stand in the corner
of the parlor until his return the next
day.
That night Boggs, the alleged rival,
called on Amelia and it is natural to
suppose that they were both unaware
that the Photographic apparatus in
the corner--the lens of which was
adjusted so as to rake the sofa fore
and aft, so to speak-was automaiical-
ly adjusted to take an instantaneous
negative at precisely 1889 P. NJ, that
being the hour when the jealous
Scudberry supposed the festivities
would be in progress, if at all. At
all events, the couple were startled at
about that period by peculiar click
from Scudberry's machine, and which
they understood better the next day
when that gentleman Indignantly
broke his engagement and exhibited
a picture which he sarcastically label
ed "No. 461, Greco-Roman Hugging
Match"
Miss Plifiey Immediately brought
suit for breach Of promise, Boggs tes-
tifying that he was only rehearsing Il
contemplated tablcau with the plain
tiff. Meanwhile Scudberry had filled
the photograph as evidence, and the
whole town is waiting anxious for the
verdict. AS soon as it is rendered
the whole story will be carefully
dramatized for the Baldwin as one of
the most thrilling episodes Of life in
the Far West.-San Francisco Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25
That Horrid Camera.

A breach of promise case is now
pending at Marysville which exhibits
some peculiar features. 1t seems the
defendant, n young man named Au-
gustus Scudberry, is member of that
rapidly increasing class of persons
known as amateur instantaneous pho
tograph cranks. This individual had
become SO enthused over the achieve
ments of European photographers in
obtaining negatives of birds flying,
horses running away, tigers seizing
their prey, ETC., that he made himself
a holy nuisance prowling around af
ter people with his portable camera,
electric slides and things. One day
he would be found ambushed beside
tho railway track and filing up the
switch-tenders with beer, in the happy
anticipation of catching q good i'm
preston of first-class smash-up the
next, he was trying to bribe some dy-
ing mans family to allow him to take
snap shot at the patient just when
the death.rattle set in. In fact, it is
stated that once, when some miners
were haying terrific quarrel in a
bar-room, Scudberry suddenly appear
ed in the doorway with his instrument
over his head and exclaimed excited.
ly:
"Wait until l put on a dry plate
before you shoot, gsntlemenl Get
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"This house is desirable in every
respect except one," said the real es-
tate agent to an intending purchaser
"it is not furnished with hot water. "
"Oh, never mind that" replied the
house-seeker. 81 have been married
fifteen years and there is no danger
Of my ever being out of hot water."-
Burlington Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

A Springfield man wrote to Gov.
Robinson to know if the law Of Mas
sachusetts would permit him to mar
ry his cousin. The governors reply
was: "The law is willin' if the
cousin is."-EX.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

A naturalist says that the sponge
of commerce has u nervous system
and secretes gall. The social sponge
has also considerable nerve, and his
gall is immense.-Boston Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"I'm down on roller skates" said a
young lady while with party of
friends the other afternoon in the
candy store. eyes, / noticed you
were yesterday when 1 saw you at the
rink. You seemed to be down most
of the time" And then all the spite
ful sisters of Eve giggled at their in
nocent sister.-Yonker Statesman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"Do you manufacture trucks as
well as roller skates? ?" "Oh, no. u
"But l was down at your factory this
morning and saw several put togeth-
er." ooh, those were not trucks. "
"No." "No, they are the kind of
skates we are shipping to Chicago. -
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

The clergy, medical faculty and
people all indorse Burdock Blood Bit
ters as the best system renovating,
blood purifying tonic in the world.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

They had recently been and got
married, and have just returned from
their honeymoon. He-"I wonder
why so many people stare at us, my
dear ?" She-"No doubt they are
wondering what l could have seen in
you" Judy.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"Mr. Sapenthred isn't in, I see,'
said an old shopper to the clerk in
attendance. "No'm, he's at home to-
day." 81 suppose he's got nothing
new" "Ycs IN, he has; he's got
pneumonia" "You don't say so
what are you getting yard fol-
monia, nowY-Boston Commercial
Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25
The Result Still in nonht.

Old Mrs, Bennington-"Did ye
find out how Mrs. Brown is gittin' on
1 heard she's very sick"
Old Mr.. Benningtor-"I saw the
doctor as he was drivin' along to-day,
an he said she shufIled off a mortal
coil last night s'pose it'll do her
good to get rid of it."
"Old Mrs. Bennington-"Drat these
new tangled doctors, they can't talk
nothin' but Latin. The poor soul
may be worse. I'll try an git over
there myself this AFTERNOON. Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"This is very trying weather." she
remarked from the midst of her seal
skin. "Very," said her sympathetic
friend. cit does give ones husband
an excuse for hanging about the
house" Chicago Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"Did you lose your limb up in a
balloon, Mr.. Simpson - NO." re-
piled the cripple, 81 lost it coming
down in a balloon" ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"My husband is very little help to
me about the house." remarked Mrs.
Smith to her friend. "He never docs
any of the marketing. He always
forgets to bring anything home with
him."
"How different he is from my hus-
band," responded her friend, sadly.
"In what way?"
"Mr. Jones comes home loaded
every night. ."-Graphic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

What the United States navy needs
is sinking fund.-Burlington Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"Tm terribly down in the mouth" /"
said young Slimlet. 81 don't see any
thing to warrant belief that you
could get down in the mouth, with
such an apology for mustache as
you wear" retorted Miss Cute.-Bos-
ton Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

1t is the enemy whom we do not
suspect who is the most dangerous
Rcjas.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

Somebody has noticed that a wo-
man who shakes the door mat on the
sidewalk ellis the public eye."-
Lynn Item.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25
Advertising Eates.

:. Business Cards. one year. ono dollar for every
Local Notices ton cents per limo for each inser-
ton.
Prices and Terms alike to all.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

"He tried to kiss me and l just
told him to behave" said an irate
young lady after sleighridc last
night. "Well, did he kiss you l'
asked her friend. mo, the idiot; he
behaved. d."-Chicago Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

Why find fault with the Boston
girl-there are specs on the sum-
Boston Budget.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25
WIT AND HUMOR.

Wild oats are often sown with rye
Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

She-"What are you thinking OFF,
He-"Nothing." She-"Egotist. =
Fly
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

A Texas cattle man married re.
fined young lady belonging to the So
ciety of Dallas. A friend meeting
him shortly after his marriage con-
graduated him on his happy fortune
"It's all right, but | had to make
sacrifices" replied the newly made
husband, shaking his head. "Wbat
sacrifices ?" ave had to give up
going 10 bed with my boots and spurs
on when / come home tired. Texas
Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

What piece of horse furniture does
an old bachelor resemble 3? A sir
cingle.-Lowell Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-25

1t is an interesting psychological
fact that stern and infexible parents
often fail to see those shining qualities
in the young gentlemen whom their
only daughters happen to meet
"Evangela, my DEAR" said one Of
these sharp sighted parents, "thi;
young gentleman l saw you with
doesn't seem to have great deal Of
dynamite force in his BRAIN" "Oh
pa, he is truly elegant. He is
Decidedly the most insipid fiat ]
have seen for many day. He hasn't
anything in his head. "No, pa,
know he hasn't but his heels are q
poem, symphony, a barcarolle-'
"His heels :" "Oh, yes. pa dear
he is the most delightfully."- lovely fan.
cy skater at the rink."-Hartford
Post.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-30
Illinois Central Railroad Go.
NEW ORLEANS
Exposition ofthe Three Americas,

ry,HE MANAGEMENT OF THE NORTH. CEN
| TRIAL AND SoUTH AMERICAN EXPOSITION,
which opens at New Orleans, NOvem-
her 10th, promulgate the following:
ssThe leading object of this Exposition is to de-
velop more intimate trade relations between the
5000 600 producers and consumers OF the nrted
States and the IS 600 900 producers and consumers
Of Mexico south and Central America and the
10 every thoughtful business man this is prac-
teal valuable and worthy object. But what the
great mass of people who are already saving ana
How about the grounds buildings facilities for get
ting from the city to the Exposition, hotel and
boarding house accommodations, railroad rates
exhibits and attractions The leading object Of TIM
notice is to advise the public that the Exposition
grounds arr In the best possible condition. ms
sanss have been sTa ana abe si9s irset
the grounds is under contract . be completed octo
Der 9TH An asphzltum driveway Is being com
Ing Increased hotel and boarding house accommo
dafions have been added Mexico and Braz1i hzv
applied for large spaces In which 70 hio govern
mental displays. The six Central American coun
r1es and the nine Republics and three Colonies 2
south America will equal Mexico and Brazil
proportion e their population and en- Ins e e
eether with all the City, State and Territorial ex
hibifs. viii make one mammoth display o. q
q re above mentioned countries that no Amer
can should fail TO see-
4 new, and TO many vsry interesting, feature :.
xrouDds. where hundreds Of the hast horses II e
land win show their speed The nev m2ne9enen
composed 81 practical business men, viii spere
3s@nsssis< Sose 81 Il; De iz1rso1s g.
rHAL Rx1Ln6kp VII plaza On sn1e Bound ~
ssss az 2 sv vss 9 'ss ssa nd IS ss ! I'd
49, 81: s S<s O.: Iss:: s.; s:':
- 3: :ss:;:;:s :; s. $50; ;:::s
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-30
THE FLYING MACHINE.
Experimental Trip Postponed on Account
Of An Accident


CUMBERLAND, Nd, Sept 23-Frederick
Bahr's flying machine, which was about
one-fourth inflated with hydrogen gas, met
with slight accident, which VIII postpone
the ascension
The balloon has been at Association park
since Monday night, aud every preparation
had been made for the first experimental
trip to the clouds
The weather was against Bahr. aud the
wind was blowing about twelve miles an
hour When the balloon had got about the
size of a small haymow it was blown against
a stake, and rent of three feet made in it.
The accident occurred about IL O'Clock, and
was disappointment to the inventor and
10 several hundred people who intended TO be
present. The balloon is in the shape of a
cigar and about fifty feet long, and Will
hold 900 feet of gas 1t is made of canvas
and was tied down in the right field of the
base ball grounds. About half dozen bar
rels were arranged around it, with pipes
from each one, all connecting with main
| pipe which ran into the balloon. In this
barrel the acid and ingredients TO make hy-
drogen gas were poured, and the gas was
| forced through water in order to purify it,
into the balloon, which was soaked in lin
seed oil. The gas went into the balloon
| chine being very unruly. Bahr's wife ana
| family We're present.
Not far from this city, over in West Vir
/ ginia, busy hands are at work getting read }
the wonderful machine, which will make
| Cumberland famous if its inventor succeed.
in rivaling Icarius aud Darius Green.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-30

Frank Pollard. the only male offspring OF
Reuben Benson Pollard. was fully as shrewd
as his father and Just as much OF schemer
| Frank Pollard was great favorite with the
| ladies, very lavish and extravagant with ms
money, spending it with q free manu-
wherever he went and none Of the country
bows stood chance while he was around
He spread himself at all the PARTIES ana
halls and threw in dollars at the church coli
iections when Others would throw in cents.
he would drive a four INLAND with ba-
rouche and spread himself generally as a
iude and a rnasher, and all this time ne was
aiding his father to swindle the people DE
Is twerlsy-six years of age, good looking
voung man with an eye to business. He now
resides in Canada with his pa
It Is related that at one time POLAND,
iunior. was counting 2 dashing woman OF
grace and beauty, when the old gentleman
learned Of it, and slipping N married tne
woman himself Frank did not hka TIM
joke the parent had played ON him. bu'
stood It ike dutiful son, and Is looking II
fresb pastures on Canada soil for new
smash Eleven trustees thus far hav'
been disoraeed by the POLAND gang Te'
have decamped to Canada, leaving theil
school furniture behind by the car load
POLAND, snn and brother -in-law, are keepinl
them company. Every bondholder in tn
yfate would like to see them . few minutes
: Tint the festive scoundrels themselves are i
bushes across the st. Lawrence, and vii
Is heard Of no more in this Land Of hbersl
! Independence.
4 remains for fhe supreme court to disez
Ehuc1c the horrible mess In part responz
. Is for the svindle b. it. delusiou q givin
Is4111ee6 IL 1ret6xt for running thsif tow
= 1k1x 4 do6k DIT urzQrq1 z6<ol hcdJ M
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-30
GEORGE WILKES SPIRIT.
Sketch of the Departed and His spirit OF
the Times.''


the Times
NEW YORK, Sept. 25.-George Wilkes,
the founder of Wilkes Spirit of the Times,
who died at his residence here, was born IN
this city in 1st7 Little is known of his
early life and he never talked of himself.
He first became publicly known in connec-
ton with several sensational publications
For conducting one of these papers, known
as the Whip, he served sixty days in prison
in the Tombs. He subsequently published
and sold book entitled 1.-THE History of
Sixty DAYS in the Tombs.n In 1s49 be went
TO California in company with David Z.
Broderick, whose political and other vent
ures he assisted by a numbered pubiicati ons
Broderick was quite successful. was elected
senator and when he was killed In a duel,
Wilkes was found to be his heir
Wilkes returned to New York with &c.,
COG and the Broderick property advanced to
value of over two million dollars. About
1860 he began the publication of Wilkes
Spirit of the Times, which he made success
by the excellent descriptions of prize fights,
horse races and other sporting events. de
had frequent quarrels with the leading
sports, but the bitterest of these was with
| John Chamberlain, who, in connection with
himself and Marcus Cisero Stanley, estab-
| lished the Paris mutual pool system here.
| He accused Chamberlain of treating him un-
fairly in this venture and long and bitter
| fight was the result.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-30

Too Busy to Talk Much !


The past two or three weeks Goods
have been coming in so fast and so many,
that our uppermost thoughts were
"Where to put them" Not much time
to sell-but we are about straight and
stock is almost complete. Has Jackson
ever had such stock? We think not.
The many wonder what we are going to
do with all the goods. Well. you viii
see. Prices generally tell their own
story. Is there house in this country
that can compete with us? If so,
where? We dictate prices in this market
Is Il true?
Our immense sales, cash only, with
buyers in New York the year round
with the places us beyond COM
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-30
CALLED MEETING
JACKSON. Miss. Semi. "a. 18S5.

JACKSON MISS, Sept a. 1885.
called the Board Mayor and Aldermen q the City
cG Mayor Aldermen Braun Gibbs Hardy Jones' Taylor and Wat
Honor Mayor following amended
proposition Of the Jackson City Railroad Company for consent decree
entered the pending the chancey Court tow
JACKSON, MISS. September oath, 1885.
To the Honorable the Board Mayor and Aldermen of the City OF
Gsrrr,rrswe put writing
shelton ESD ours, being
According our the following comprises the whole
ann is at IN the chanoe Court Of the fs district
taining she fooring Paaon oT Ss penang u.s.
and M aB h S m mu oTe o ~u1 ron ds
across Town Creek on Capitol street
according official
On H. sa s said 9s5s k % s the
city 1 a d S is s S S m avid ts s aS
for oo ine p' Be may the eg son OF the
the rav th rI 81 our 2iIway with he ros nd tb
structures for the support OF said amwy its cars and teams
10 h3s a ts a' n 6Gn on the bridge and spiked down.
Ms d de ready Saf oar crossing sS and vi the
SAID "hs3 you PSs Inf for T s west of
said bridge with NAT iron n5R a 0 b h 9 81
level and in order and we put the surface Of all our iron
level with the surface Of the street from the end Of switch
House hotel, and keep it
Mayor our President said s being entered the co your
three beyond Exemption expires
TO- Each all claim damages other
of matters between
the
authorities the City jackson
power, legal rights except either
pressed.
H. You the Court Of the litigation.
confirm the particulars and
nit the requesting your early action
Very respectfully, jackson CITY RAILROAD COMPANY
By CALHooN & GREEN, Attorneys.
Theeupon adopted the ordinance following
~ Be &, ordained he Ra ,is g r" and ID. e T. q he f q
as may By calhoon ereen
and our attorney, d. Shelton
Harris Esq, Attorney Illinois Central Railroad Company
of
requested that the
the
Railroad of
city have always been the places
in thereof
III. . ..... .....$
Z. s. Marshal, and chair.
~, % -
IN motion of Alderman Hardy, the Board adjourned
JOHN McGILL, Mayor
NJ NJ. Mcleod City Clerk.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-30
rmpaired Digestion.

The majority Of people suffer to great
or or less degree from this sad affection
many unthinkingly cultivate it by INSULT
c;entlv masticating their food Others,
whose occupation is of sendentary char
acter having it forced upon him; the exces'
siye use of tobacco. etc, will tend to de
velop it. The symptoms vary, one suffer
ing severely after meals, another onl,
slightly. Constipation or diarrhaa, hatu
lence. variable appetite, etc, are only few
Of its unpleasant consequences. Now wha
i required is attention to diet, assisted b,
! remedy which aids the natural seretion
n the alimentary canal, and produce
AGAIN 4 normal solvency of food. Sucl
! valuable remedy is the celebrated HON
Sanatiye Cordial.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-09-30
BOARD OF MAYoR AND ALDERMEN.
CALLED MEETING.


JACKSON Miss, Sept % 1885,
At acald the Board of Mayor and Aldermen Of the
City Of Jackson held Wednesday, 1885, Present Hon John
Shelton Esq., Attorney BOARD Absent atkins
His Honor the Mayor presented the Board the following p0pos
entered in the pending in the Chancery Court tow
JACKSON, Miss, September p 1852
To the Honorable Board Mayor and Aldermen the City Of
the Town Bridge decree in accordance with
@ b written 1pn,on thus ending the n o. the Civ II
further provide that bear the OF keeping the
that keep repair bridge ready for
the of the pgn 70 move
SIDE regarding the
the and thence the bridge on
be laid OF the bridge and Tor
thirty feet on each side OF it. level with the surface OF the street TINS
iron rails all track be put level with the surface OF the street
line OF the keep to
The decree not to be construed into waiver OF the legal nights or
of the legal rights of the Railroad Company except
Tar as expressed herein.
JACKSON CRY RAILROAD COMPANY,
BY CALHooN & GREEN Attorneys
Thereupon adopted by the Board
ROld That the Board the proposition the Jackson City
Railroad Company this the Board by Cahoon Green
with this provision added thereto, but not otherwise: ,
That the 16 bridge wldend 10 ~
feet than $500 the City Railroad Company
payment Of which by the said Railroad Company to the Mayor and
road worked into the bridge with stngers and other Tor
laid the bridge Railroad furnishing the and spikes
ordinance amending the Privilege Tax Ordinance adopted April
1882, submitted, owit:
BE Ordained By the Board Mayor and Aldermen Of The Cy JaesoH
That pagph7 of the Privilege Tax Ordinance the City OF Jackson
in relation dealers malt liquors be and the same is hereby stricken
The ordinance adopted
On motion of Alderman Taylor ordered that the amount OF
barge privilege license issued Crystal Lake Ice Company being
256O be refunded directed to be issued
On motion OF Alderman Braun, the Board adjourned :,
NJ NJ MCLEOD City Clerk