Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-05-02
A CLEFT STICK.

NO, there was no doubt about 1t; had drunk
great deal more than was good for me, as my
aching head and parched mouth only too plain
ly proved. IL not the lobster salad
scorned the deception: it was the champagne. 1
had always main tanned that picnics were mis-
take, and now / was certain OF ii.
Do not misunderstood ne when 7 say picnicS
are mistake. Your real. rural. haIfimpromptu
picnic, with a few intimate friends, in some
pleasant spot away from the busy hun-drum of
everyday life is pleasant enough; but what
invegh against is that set feast OF luxuries,
conveyed in n perfectly appointed luncheon
basket to some hackneyed feasting-piace, by
"pampered meniais. and in which the only va
riety from everyday luncheon consists In that
IL II eaten in an uncomfortable position. in
stead of the orthodox comfortable one. And
this had been the case yesterday. Besides. the
company had not been 10 my taste. Imagine a
three engaged couples. Could the most con-
tented OF all mOrtais have been happy under
the circumstances?
True there bad been few odd rniddIe-nced
outsiders. but what Of that? All, what, indeed?
And as my memory began to c1liect its scat
tered particles, had more cause than ever TO
curse that picnic.
We had been UP the river. party of twelve
yes, that was it-and finding that no blan,lish-
ments on my part could distract the course of
true love of any one OF the three engaged
misses from their faithful SWANS. had been
members of the party Urged on my wild
career by desperation and frequent glasses OF
Il
maiden lady Orwell of a certain age She had
been too agreeable; that was her only fault.
my efforts 10 drown ennui: Who knows Perhaps
had proposed 10 her. Well. she had been
very charming; why not" Great heavens. she
was forty II she was day: and perhaps-bah,
perhaps she was made up. At least, / re-
member she appeared to possess a certain
that those dark lashes We're not the result OF
antimGny, those Iangrshing gianceS bella
donna: that complexion. arsenic; those deli
Np-iNf hs
remembered that had promised to call upon
her; She lived at kcnSington. Happy thought,
perhaps I had mislaid her address. / Jumped
off my chair with more alacrity than had
thought possible. and rummaged in my pockets
for the card that she had given me. She said,
with bewitching smile, that she was quite
sure l should forget the address unless I had
that card.
No such luck for there il was. ONLY too palma
bic Ia the naked eve. i sat down again to the
pretense OF breakfast that had been making
during these reveries. An unweicome knock at
the door, followed by a more unwelcome in
truder. put an abrupt end to them.
Hello. Charlie, old man. exclaimed my
up all night or what"
'Oh, you go to the deucer' answered tes-
tly.
Thanks you always were a hospitable kind
offellow, but hardly expected so warm
ceptiOn as this"
'.Well, / tell you what 1t is Ralph, am aw-
fully down on my luck, and don't want any of
your chaff this morning.
"Oh, fits matter of "a FLYER So why didn't
you say so before? You know you may always
count on me to- obige you, at a pinch.
"Bosh, my dear fellow, its not that. 1 am a
little off color, that's ALL Don't you see?'
"Whew-w. / think / do See now, woman
In the case, of course. What an awful duffer I
must have been not to have seen it at first
Look here, Ralph said, II am not in the
numOr for humbug this morning, so let us drop
the subject of my appearance and its cause, al
together. Have you seen the Cow"
"Yes, saw him just as he was going out for
MS morning constitutional He looked tit
WINGED at this overt dig at my tender spot.
well, suppose You go down stairs and smoke
while finish my breakfast, and then Well See
now to pass an hour or two
My tormentOr was gone at last. thank good
ness, bnt what was the torment of his presence
TO that of my mind"
upon my elderly chariner, and that without
delay. The longer matters put Oft the
worse they would appear.
Il went down stairs and found Ralph smoking
Ban! could not have smoked this morning To
have saved my life.
luncheon time. Ralph? viii you come for a
dr .i,Tsolh have morning call to pay"
truth at once? Who is she:"
Time enough for you TO know when you have
seen her" / answered, surliy. will you come?
shall have to leave you outside,
All right, old man; anything to further the
interests of friend. 4 don't mind playing Le-
pOreliO TO your Don Juan, for once
We drove TO KensingtOn. The brilliant sun
seemed to mock my gloomy thoughts and my
spirits fell to zero as we approached the house
WAS Miss Damian at homer
"YeS, Miss Damian was at homen
NY iasi ioophole OF escape was closed. len
Lere0 lhe mousse, and had not yet been seated
nve minutes when the door opened and per
1ect vision OF loneliness greeted my astonished
gaze.
Picture to yourself the most beautiful creature
your eyes ever rested upon, or your Imagination
con)ured up In the form OF woman, and apply
The result to the present case.
der eyes, her complexion and her figure
But Will not attempt to describe them, tor fear
they should clash with your individ ual ideal of
beauty, and SO destroy the Illusion.
She could not have been more that nineteen
or twenty. Was this my elderly charmer' of
yesterday? No, there must be some mistake
The vision came forward with a seraphic
smile OF 1lI-disguised amusement at my evident
Miss Damian ?" stammered
am Miss DaInian, Miss Ethel Damian, in
express her regret at being unable to see you
this morning. She caught slight cold on the
river yesterday, but she hopes you win call
That Voice What can liken it to in order
70 convey an idea the meilifiuous sound All
OF the old SMILES OF nightingales and running
water pale before such perfection
II am deli-I mean that / am distressed be-
yono measnre-er-what an extremely warm
You appear to find it so. 1 had thought it
Ing more confused, and stumbling deeper into
dlfhculties at every stepy-"what meant.to saw
was that ought TO be indebted to almost any
accluent which was the means of introducing
me to Miss Damian's niece, although had no
1dea OF expressing anything but regret at Miss
DaInlans Illness
Que sexcuSe. saccuse, so no more compIi-
I nen.s 70 me at my aunts expense, if you
vented from going, unfortunately"
1t was delightfu!' (Heaven forgive me for
the lalSehood) Indeed, / am indebted to your
aunt ior all the pleasure extracted from it.
without her, ii would have been dull enough"
An, my Aunt Barbara has been adding vet
snOtner victim TO her train of admirers, / see."
w nat do you mean? Surely"
y es, 1t Is my painful duty to state that nv
aunt barbara Is confirmed f1irt. Papa used
10 say that his sister Barbara would dirt with a
pair OF tongs for lack of anything better and
she mas gone on practicing her amiable weak-
ness all through life Indeed, ALWAYS tell her
mat my time Is spent following her about like
sheep dog. to play propriety. Do not be
Aiarineu she means nothing really serious 1t
Is her only foibie. We are very much attached
10 one another, and she is always in all things
my very dear Aunt Barbara"
Inc charm OF the Speakers manner entirely
carried OH any sense of brusquerie that this un-
conventional declaration might have otherwise
impressed Inc with.
The Ice once being broken, l sat on talking
with my vision quite obi vOus to the throbs of
mpatience that Ralph might be feeling seated
outside In the hanson.
Al last 1t was time to go. said:
II may call again, may not?'
II hope so, or Aunt Barbara will feel yery
her" W
left the house over head and ears in love- I
mao Deeh IN love many times before in tact, I
nau always been falling in love ever since / was
niteen; but this time there was no doubt about
mo need to ask what luck. Charlie, ex.
II hf,r.r Iaf1