Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1885-10-10
WIT AND WISDOM.
BONE women are pique-culiar.

~oAA
4 acknowledgements nap.
"WHAr is taken from you before YOU
get it?" Your photograph.
"WaAT is the dollar Of our daddies @
asked a college paper. 1t is what the
average undergraduate pays his wagers
and anti-temperance subscriptions with.
'T'M very fond Of little bows she
said, as she tripped on a string stretched
across the pavement, 81 feel as if [
could eat q couple of EN-, this minute,
raw"
The oficeseeker is in hard luck. He
is afraid to ask for Office for fear of be-
ing refused, and he is afraid ii he
does not he will be overlooked.-B0s-
ton Post.
TRUE diplomacy is the art OF hiding
your money where your wife cannot
find it, and then to lie in bed pretending
to be asleep as you watch her go through
your clothes in an unproductive hunt.
A WOMAN who has taken in sewing for
a couple of years to support her lazy and
drunken husband says it is surprising
that the Board Of Health has not had
her indicted for maintaining a nui-
sance."
"HELLo, Smith; suppose aman marries
relation is he to her q First wife-um
-step-aunt-er-let me see, / don't
know" Bright fellow. He's her hus-
band"
WELL, I'll be dog-goned if know,
ledge" was the response of a lady from
the knobs to a question in a{Kentucky
Court, and it caule apparently SO natur-
ally that the Judge Joined in the smile
that ran around the room.
ALAMB can distinguish its mothers cry
among a hundred similar sounds. It
Is the same with a boy, but it may be
remarked, en- PEASANT, that the boy
doesn't pay the same attention to his
mothers cry that the lamb does.
INDIAN names are often very deceiving,
as MIR. Marshall. a Georgia father found
when he was led by the music of it to
give his daughter the name of Eutaula,
only to discover, Just as she was making
her debut, that Eutaula means Wei
Dog.
SAIDa Wall st. broker to his coachman:
IL am going to make you a handsome
present. | give you all you have stolen
from me during the past year. 'Thank
you, sir" retorted the coachman, land
may all your customers treat you as
literally"
A RALEIGH boy having heard that ex-
Governor Jarvis had been appointed
Envoy Extraordinary and Minister
Plenipotentiary to Brazil, told another
darby that Gov. Jarvis had been ap-
pointed an extraordinary preacher to
the penitentiarv in Brazil.
y IF there is anything that a man is
prouder of than the first baby whsh
ONE to adorn his home, it is theremem-
brance Of that time when he screwed up
his courage to say to his mother-in-law
"I'm boss here, old lady, and-what
are you going to do about it?"
SENATOR EvARTs tells his friends il
Washington who expressed the hope that
his daughters who used to preside owe,
their parents tea things at the Capital
will be with him next season, hat his
daughters are married now and busy
with teethings in their own households. ;
st GUESS Mrs. Hickins has begun
writing spring poetry, mother" "What
makes you think so ?" ''She came into
the grocery while [ was there, and she hat
dAbs of ink all over her hands and face
"Poetry; fddlesticks! She's been tax
ing down the stove. - Chicago Ledger.
OUIDA V GA girls love must never
be begged, but conquered" Too mucl
stress must not be placed upon this
statement. however. We do not say
that Ouida would mlsrepresent, but she
may have forgotten, you know. One
cannot remember forever the experiences
of ones youth.
A MAINE paper says that a Bath board
ing mistress surprised n of her board
ers, who was learning to play O til
banjo, by reducing the price of hi
board on the ground that his singing
and playing had frightened away al
the rats. The compliment has discour
aged the young man, and he has givel
up practice,
GRANDMoTHER--'Id like to go to til
rink with you, Johnny" Johnny, VIII
doesn't want to be bothered with tn
old lady-"Certainly, grandmother, Il
be glad to nave you go with me; bu
you will have to own up to the door
keeper that you are over fifteen year
of age" Grandmother-'Then l CUES
I'll wait awhile yet, Johnny"