Morning journal and courier., 1885-10-23
" OGDEN.

Ohio has fifteen COWS with wooden legs. Up here in Vermont we have any quantity of COWS with wooden arms, but we call them pumps. Burlington Free Press. German photographers have succeeded in taking photographs by lightning. If any of
 them reach this country, will Anthony Com sttck seize them as flash pictures.-Yonkers Gazette.
 A New York paper thinks that Mrs. Van Cott would not be able to perform so much laborious work were it not for her splendid physique. That is to say, she wouldn't be able to stand it, if she wasn't able to stand it.-Philadelphia Call.
 Customer-'sLamp not included in the
 price? Why the lamp forms part of the ma chine in the picture!" Bicycle maker-'sY Y Yes, sir; but a lady is also included in the pie ture, and we don't give one with the ma chine.-Texas Siftings".
 Client tin his lawyers offce(-"Have you read this Mormon business latelya It's enough to make mans blood boil to see what contempt those people have for the sanctity ] of the marriage relation-er-how is my di- vorce case coming on?"-Puck.
 An exchange observes that widows are all ways favorites with men. There some
 big chunks of truth in this. A man may
 abuse his wife every day of her life, but as
 soon as she becomes his widow he never even looks cross at her again.-Binghamton Re
 publican.
 MT. Cable, the southern novelist, gives in his adhesion to woman suffrage by saying: eff our mothers are not fit to vote, they
 ought to stop bearing sons." By this bril- liant logic, as our fathers don't bear sons, they will be deprived of the right of voting. Meridian (Miss.) Mercury. MT. Cable evi- dently means that only mothers among wo-
 men should vote Old maids and others not
 mothers should not be allowed to come tc | the ballot box.-New Orleans Picayune, And these bellies have their griefs, too. | heard one tell hers to 8 friend. 'You are | looking quite sad to-day, do declare" said | the matter?" "Oh, I've had to give up my 1 pug, and it almost breaks my heart" was ] the reply. ttI kept him beyond the fashion, I was so awfully fond of him; but one can't
 quite be left away behind the styles, you know, and had to displace him with span Tel. have him tenderly cared fol, of course,
 and he'll be happy enough for life, but that doesn't assuage my own grief. Oh, this ire quent changing of ones dog is enough to crush sensitive nature. e."-Indianapolis News.
 A Kind-hearted Texan.-Colonel Mcbride Sumpter, of Austin, while in New York dropped into fashionable restaurant, and having surprised his stomach with @ small repast, asked the waiter what was the dam age. On being told Colonel Sumpter hand
 ed out fve-dollar bill, but on receiving back
 his change he made the ghastly discovery
 that there was dime missing. He demand
 ed an explanation from the waiter, who was
 Frenchman. ''Ze dime is for my douceura"
 ''I didn't order any and I won't pay for it, ''
 retorted Sumpter. "l mean, sore, ze dime is
 for my pour boire." FtIt's for your poor boy,
 is it? That's different thing. I didn't
 know you had sickness in your family. Here's
 a quarter for him, poor fellow" And with
 the consciousness of having relieved the suf-
 ferings of the sick and afflicted Colonel
 Sumpter put his hat on the side of his head
 and sauntered out of the hostelry.-Texas Siftings.