davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
THE REWARD or MODEST MERIT.
Burdette Describes u Dialogue ut Sc.
Peters, Gate.

loriginal
The funny man sat outside the gates OF
Paradise, his patient head bowed upon his
clasped hands. Death had been very kind
to him. ami bad taken him away from a
world OF sorrow and fun, but the poor funny
man didn't know whether or not he wished
to go into Paradise He rather thought that
if he would be expected to be funny every
time half dozen saints were gathered to-
gether. he would prefer to stay outside and
look in. But his better, more genial nature
triumphed. and presently he threw away his
pencil and timidly approached the sate,
where he modestly announced himself as the
leading American humcrist.n
mo. 95, ,s74," +" said good ST. Peter, placing
his back against the gate and hanging the
keys up out of reach Now then, young
man. let US have a specimen of your work
and let me see your credentials
ALAS" said the unhappy funny man, IL
can do ne ther The managing editor COB
bles all the credentials, and keep no scrap
book
''Whatl Not of your own funny things
and your press noticesf'
Not any"
"Were you not called the Mark Twain of
your own slater
Not that ever heard
"Were YOU not at one time the coming
American humoristfn
No, sir"
rs not your humor very similar TO that
Of Artemas Ward and Charles Lambf"
Nobody ever said il wasn
The Saint tarned over the pages of a big
ledger long and thoughtfully.
You can't be the leading American hum
orist-'
"But that is tine only thing | ever was
styled" pleaded the poor funny man.
But you can't be, because | find in the
departments of mother-in-law. carpet tack,
pie, soap, front gate, picnic ice cream,
angry papa, church OYSTER mse and stove
pipe not a single credit
ALAS, no" replied the funny one sadly.
''My dying grandfather, from whom inher-
tied all my jokes, bequeathed all those jokes
to the asylum for the feeble-minded, so that
l could never use one OF them"
The Saint threw open the gates, handed
the way yfarer the keys, showed him where
the club was kept, and said:
Il abdicate The place is yours. / will
sit down outside myself if there isn't room
inside for both of US
Ten minutes later another leading Amer
lean humorist approached the gate bearing
a scrap book, a file of his paper and a blue
pencil A resounding thwack that woke the
echoes OF the armament into thousand dis
cordant thunders, and a chaos of scrap
book, funny paper, blue pencil and ''humor-
istn was whirling downward nine times the
space that measures day and night, while
the calm face Of the new doorkeeper looked
placidly over the battlements, and his soft
whisper fell through the blue ether like
falling star-''Nextl'
A California Senator and Duke of Sonora
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15

Mr.. Gwin was born in Telnesses in 1895
an was educated for the medical profession.
H.s father. ths Rev. James Gwln, was a
personal frieni of Gen. Andrew Jack son
AMI his CHAPLAIN at New Orleans and
through his fathers influence NJ Gwin be-
gan his public career "a Gen. Jackson's pri-
vate secretary. In 1888 Mr.. Gwin was ap-
pointed by Gen. jackson marshal for the
southern district of Mississippi. The Mis-
sis,ippians opposed this nomination, because
Gwin was not recognized "a citizen of that
state. This action only excited the deter
aination Of Old Hickory, and he at once
renewed the nomination. with an intimation
that Gwin or nobody should be marshal for
Mississippi That settled 1t, AMI Gwin was
confirmed. He subsequently was elected to
congress from that state, serving In the
house OF representatives from 1871 to 1S43
After that he removed to New Orleans,
where he took an active part in politics.
Mr. Gwin could not conceal his sympathy
for the south. and thus at the outbreak OF
the war was soon in trouble with the gov
ernment. The ex-senator joined the south
ern sympathizers in California in their
efforts to arraign the state with the south.
Failing In this, Gwin Calhoun, Benhan and
Others took passage on a Pacific Mail
steamer for Panama, intending To reach the
Confederacy. Gen. Sumner, with several
companies of regular troops also took pass
age ON the same steamer, and during the
voyage ID Panama arrested Gwin. Ben ham
and Brent and brought them to New York,
where they We're placed in Fort Jackson.
Gwin was released in 1868.
The next heard OF HIM be was in Europe.
where he met Louis Napoleon, who had
ambitious projects in Mexico, and consulted
with him about them. He brought in the
Duke DE Morny, with whom he united his
fortunes and arranged a scheme To colonize
the province Of Sonora in Mexico with
European miners and laborers, and develop
the metal and other interests. Around thk
colonization scheme was woven the more
ambitious PROJECT II AN empire in Mexico.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
Summer Drinks.
Philadelphia Record. !

lfhiiadeiphia Record
or making summer drinks there l. no
end. To the long list of syrup drinks the
most notable addition is "pear phoSphates, "
made of acid phosphates, the flavor of
which suggests the presence of pear syrup.
Egg pho phate' is combination of egg
with pear pho>phates. AMI much resembles
an egg-nogg without liquor Coca and
calisaya and calisaya cordial are in demand
with those fatigued. especially by brain
work, or needing thu tonic action of
quin ne. Acid phosphate and vichy. or
the pho phate with lemon syrup, should be
include in the list. Limeade i in brisk de-
mand, being more acid and bfacing than
lemonade.
Nichy and cream has come into vogue,
though AN expert will prefer. especially at
breakfas,-time, one part OF vichy To two Of
milk. Hook and soda retains its popularity,
but il one must cross the dividing line be-
tween temperance and alcoholic beverages
a symphony in ginger ale and claret is not
to be despised. and there is no better drink
than that which the cricketers have taken
under their peculiar patronage-a shandy-
gaf of ale enI ginger beer iced to polar
frigiiity in covered tin pail /.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
UNION LEAGUE.

Time works wonders. Here. at Jackson
and Fourth avenue, right ON the border Of
what less than year ago was one OF tn,
worst Of Chicago's hotbeds OF vice. stately.
handsome building has risen from the
ground. 1t i the future home of the Union
League OF Chicago, an organization formed
in 1879, as the Chicago branch Of the Union
League of America. IL has hitherto had
no home Of Its own, but has occupied apart
ments in the Honore building lts new
quarters front seventy feet on Jackson
street and 100 feet on Fourth avende The
fronts ere of brick and terra Gotta, the
style being based by Architect Janney on
the fourteenth century Lombardie. The
corner is rounded and supports tower
with dome of cCiored glass, through which
the sun sheds its rays into the spacious din
ing hall with magnifcent effect. The great
reception hall on the first floor. with its
spacious old English Fireplace, and the
grani stairway are special features Of the
interior. The total cost Of the building was
$3.50 200.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
THE CHICAGO OF TO-DAY
. PICTORIAL INTRODUCTION TO A
GREAT CITY.
Special rnrresponden,e.I

EH
saHCAGo, Sept. % The architectural de-
veNSfnent Of Chicago i of compa rati vely
recent date. This, "a a matter cf fact.
might go without saying. A city which
saw it first white settler little more than
balf century ago, and which twice ia that
period has been swept by fire--ou one occa-
sion from center to circumferen could
hardly iSe expected 20 favorably compare
with Philadelphia. New York or older
cities IN thu number or architectural beau
ty OF its buildings That il does so com-
pare Is but another of the manv evidences
of the enterprise ant spirit Of development
which characterizes her people From an
architectural point of view the great fire
was both a good aud n bad thing for Chi
cago IL was IA benefit in the fact that it
cleared the ground Of acres npon acres of
shanties aud Tookeries, which, bot for the
devouring elsaent, might have continued
10 b. eyesores 70 this day. But this had its
drawbacks in the fact tina the neces-
sItes o. business compelled such hur-
ried erection u buildings that 10 at
tention could ba paid either to design
or substantially. What the business
community wanted IN that trying tine was
something 10 get into; it carei not what,
and hencst hundreds Of buildings went up
without the architects being afforded q
ghost Of a chance to study or develops. OF
late years, however, there has been n de-
velopment Of the substantial aud beautiful
III Chicago architecture. and score, Of what
a late a. ~ were vacant lots AMI mud
ponds are occupied to-day by handsome and
imposing structures. while others are rising
from their foundations ON every hand As
a promin mt architect rsmafke. to dav.
''Give u five wears more OF the building
boom which We have had since ~ and we
will be able 10 show sucn a city of architec-
tural beauty which, taking into consiiera-
tion its are, will comman1 the aagIratiOn
Of the world.n And ls was rjglL
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
MAKE THE BEST or lT.

What's the use Of alway fretting
Over evils that can't be curedf
" hat, the use OF finding fault with
What we know must lie enduredi
Doe, IL make our bugd .ns lighter
II We grumble meath their l0adf
Does it make life's path gay smoother
Il We fret about the roaai
Better use our time than ell it
Full " -ighs and vain regrets
over ,ome imagined blunder-
As does he who always frets.
We can not expect life's pathway
10 be always strewn with flowers
Nor the time that God has given
All be made Of happy hours.
Nt1Fms viii follow every sunshine,
Grief he mixed with every JOY;
and III best thas il should be So
Colds too soft without alloy.
halt cur troubles our invention;
We're 10 blame for Aalf our strife;
Lnen. II life i. what we make it,
Why not make the best OF life!
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15


Many Of the young Canadians who took
part in the Riel campaign were. as body
OF splendid physique averaging between five
feet ten AMI six feet two, who used to wear
in Montreal AMI Toronto pointed boots and
write with steel pens, chained to the count
ers Of q bank OF business house, with no
prospect OF becoming partEsrs in the bAi-
ness which enslaved them.
Since they got their lungs filed with the
prairie air they have closed their ledgen
and taken to building. log houses for them
selves. striding over the sweet grass, gallop-
ing after half wild cattle, cooking their own
dinners. measuring monthly more around
the chest ami feeling that it viii be their
own fault if they do not take their place
among the men who are mastering a new
land A strong Canadian youngsSsr who
viii labor. working with his own hands,
will get S400 year and his board, and be
tempted to no great expense at his tsilor's.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15


Since all femininitv has taken il into It.
head to watch the baseball games from the
vantage ground of the best seats in the
grand stand. it is interesting 10 listen 10 the
learned comments made upon the progress
of the game.
Wasn't that splendid hiti There. now,
why didn't he runf'
why, my dear, that was foul ball"
"Well, I'd run anyhow
'But the umpire wouldn't let you
''Of course not. The umpire is all the
time yelling and running about and inter
fering vita ths game. Ii is wasn't for him
baseball would be real interesting
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
The PARTING SIGH.

Eric s. Robertson.i
Here have / Laid me by my Love that's
dead:
An hour aro she shudderei, Sweet. be
bravein
Then sighed and died in the last KISS she
gave:
and All the music cf the life wa led
onks like the anthem sinking overhead
Jpoa the carven sleepers on grave,
C.eaving in stons together rs they clave
10 the life ended where they once were wed.
BE bravefr What then's tie bravest way
10 diet
Nay, 'twere the noblest dying for her sake
10 spend my heart-blood slowly, throu5 u
long years.
ana vile my insatiate miser-soul doth maAe
y - dark, dear heard OF her sweet memory,
smile for the world. and serve it-keep my
tears
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
Helena Montana, Thursday, October IS, 1885,

:. : the grand Adams street entrance
which arrests attention. The first story
is of rock-faced granite laid up in large
blocks in a heavy buttressed manner at the
base. This has the effect of giving an ex.
preston of great strength, while. the color
harmoniz.s with the red pressed brick used
in the rest of the structure A series Of
arcades ON the Adams street facade support
the superstructure. the heavy elliptic arches
being on massive columns with carved capi.
tails and nodded octagon bases, with highly
polished red granite shafts. A notable
feature Of the elevation k Q large central
arch that spans the entrance to the court
approaching the ofiic1 This is - feet
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
Rise and Fall OF Mining Towns

Lsadville is one OF the great mining towns
OF the west which have begun to decline In
population. IL Is common enough for small
and little known places to die as rapidly as
they grew. but cities like virginh City aud
Leadyilie seem more permanent, and ap-
parently should escape the fate OF less pre-.
tentious places Leadville, however, has
fallen from 14.s20 Inhabitants in 1880 20
ll,OG6 by the Colorado state census just
completed Dehvsr, oE the other hand, shows
the stability OF true city OF diversified
industries and many resources as well as
the wonderful growth OF the west In 1880
Denver had 5000 people, and now the
census shows s., 900, a gain of nearly four
sevenths in i've years.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15

comeuy conpauy . now on the boards. Ths
idea OF being associated with the construo-
tion Of q theatre was O little too muca for
a, rsfne,i sens bilities o. the PuritanicsA
members Of the syndicate. They could stand
- opera house. which should scarcely
ever see opera, but theatre, never So the
Little Chicago opera house" was agreed
upon by the less.es, as concession 10 their
tender eorsciences, and although the lessees,
painfully aware OF thu incongruity of the
title, have recently endeavorei I, secure a
change TO theatre" the owners are obdur-
ata, and -ppsra house, it viii remain.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15

This unique appearing structure on the
north site Of Adams street directly opposite
the entrance TO the north wing of the postof-
flee. AMI which arrests tha attention OF even
the most hurried pc ieStrian, is m future Del
monic0's Of Chicago. Under its mahogany
in years to COM. many fee, will b. crossed
while ths choicest Of viands will lie par
taken Of, and wine will flow like water
Here men Of note, both Of our own and for
eign countries, will be feted and dined and
Aud Lang Syne' will he sung around the
festive board by many gathering which
viii pass into history The building has
been erected by III. d. Kinsley, a Chicago
caterer. az "A cost Of $40, OO1 and has q
frontage az A. feet and a depth 81 $50. The
exterior Is Of terra cote complete, the type
being Moresque, taken even in its smallest
details from the Alhambra at Grenada
The undersiies of the handsome bay win
dows are covered with copper work sn re-
pousse, while the transoms over the win
dows are fillei with stained glass Of unique
design. The first AMI second floors are
covered with Mans English tile, while those
above are covered with concrete. The two
elevators are inclosed with ornamental iron,
elactroplated in bronze The iirst floor.
decorated in Persian colorings and de-
signs, is devoted To the ladies' aai gentle
mems business lunch room and the sample
room. On the second floor il the ladies' and
gentlemen's restaurant and gentlemen's
cafe The third is occupied by private
dining and hanqueting rooms, while tue
grand banqueting hall and dining room. on
the fourth floor, are each 43x6J feet, and ~
feet IN height. The general rooms are fin
ished in marble flooring and wainsccting,
while the more retire. rooms are richly
colored mo finished. Few VINO knew Caterer
K:nsley when. in the many years ago, he
started the little restaurant under the opera,
ever dreamed that the course of years would
see him the Delmonico Of the west end the
owner Of one Of the palatial restaurants Of
the Nav World
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
chicago Ledge

"No, nam; she don come to our house no
mo-
"Pshaw, chile; you dom tell mel How
does dat Gomez
well, jes' bekase she's got too proud an
stucs-up to mix wild common folks now
days any mo-"
~Proui! On. good Lawd, What dat
sleepy hussy got to be proud viii, like to
known
why. bless yo' sweet soul. honey, she's
mad sleepin' ca po'tah. an reckon she
has m'lassss on de table ebry day now.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
HARVEST SONGS.

The odOr sweet OF nes.-mown hay
Il waited Ger the land
Piled high, the sheaves of golden grain
Wait for the thresher's hand.
Wide. biIlowy fields Of corn uplift
Their banners broad and green
With plenty's promise craven bright
On each in glitteriEg sheen.
The leafy vine bends low with weight.
OF juicy clusters fair,
Springtime's glad prophecies fulfilled
The burdened orchards bear.
B.rE all the land brown-handed Toll
And patient Thrift have wrought
bay after day, till dreams have been
To full fruition brought.
Vet not 20 them all praise he given,
Not ali 10 Toll and Thrift
who gives the increase" unto him
Our grateful hearts -" lift.
Who can the richly varied store
Of goOdly gifts behold,
Nor say with l-raei's prophet bard,
Thy works, how manitoba
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15
TO A UANDELION.

Little minl.c Of the sun.
Hiding iE the fragrant gtgss,
Have you any kisses won
From the pretty maids who pass
When the SUn slips down the West
some fair girl shall CCa1e in quest
OF the secret which you lock
Eu ~c.s tiny gGlden breast:
You shall hear an airy knock.
And question, What O'clock
A. t,.S very verge OF night,
When the summer twilight's Ezeath
Makes you dizzy N'ith delight.
B3lnce iu happiness TO death,
" hca the peaceful moon shall peep
DoVn from the star-lit skies that " eep
Tears Of sweet. delicious dew,
Tender. gracions eyes shall keep
Quifs company with you
Sea.h the heavens cover blue.
All. yO4i dainty, snow gost,
Sec Whas bliss your wisdom brings
T@ii me, pray, what angels boast
such zephyr for their wings?
just because the hour you tell,
She repavs your magic we'll
Watts you of to paradise:
sounds for you "A gentle knell;
Lights your journey with her eyes;
Would that ! were half so wise!
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15

nim guilty Of violating the laws Of nations
and he was sentenced TO be suspended for
three years President Lincoln shortly aftsr
RENTED the unsx pirsd period Of the SEN
tence, and he was promotjd to commodorU.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15

1t is figured that . pirate vessel could
leave San Francisco and run course Of at
least 100 days before being captured. while
her plander might pile up into the millions
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15

In several villages of the Viatki provinces,
the peasants manufacture wooden watches.
which work steadily, though they do not
keep very accurate time. All the parts Of
the watch are Of wood, except the axles,
which are OF horn
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-15

Detroit Free Press.

detroit Free Press
A reformed burglar delivered a lecture to
large ard sympathetic audience in Ore
gon, and a confederate secured eleven wal
lets while the crowd was filing in and out.
The Indianapolis journal., 1885-09-27
A BROTHERLY FIGHT.
Quarrel Between George w. and Norman
L. Munro, Piraticaf Publishers.

Quarrel Between George w. and Norman
L. Munro, Piratica1 Publishers.
Special to the indianapolis Journal.
New YORK, Sept 26.-Two brothers Munro
are in bitter fight They are the bearers of
the name that has become conspicuous in the
cheap publication of pirated foreign books
George w. Munro owns the Seaside Library.
Norman L. Munro has a rival concern of the
same kind, and it is through his use of the term
Munro Publishing House that the brothers,
already enemies of long standing have taken
their differences into court George thinks that
he can stop the other in doing business under the
Munro name in manner to confuse the public
mind. and Norman holds to the contrary. The
careers of both from nothing to millionareism
has been Alladinish. They came from Nova
Scotia, where they had been school teachers, and
embarked separately in the issue of blood-and-
thunder story papers. and now each publishes
one of great circulation. George saw in the
Lakeside Library, which failed in Chicago,
bought the remnants of that concern.
He established the Seaside Library here,
and to-day is estimated to be worth five millions.
Fis prnting-house is ten stories high, and is out
fitted with types setting machines and presses to
issue book per Gay. The business is purely
mechanical, for the copy is all reprint that costs
nothing in money or thought The proprietor
has endowed Dalhousie College with a portion of
his enormous wealth, which is mostly invested
in real estate. Norman was belated in his
library operations by lack of capital to compete
with his brother. but lately he has splurged
ahead, and can now reckon his fortune ct full
million. He is a sensationalist in advertising
and one of the devices is fine yacht. on which
such distinguished guests az Henry Ward
Beecher make trips. His printing house is right
across the street from the others. and is almost
soon to wipe out both by protecting authors from
seizure, but in the meantime the Munros have
jointly monopoly over the sharing of which
their lawsuit is sure to be one of the hardest of
struggles.
The Indianapolis journal., 1885-09-27
NEW YORK NOTES.


"A dangerous Drug Whlcn Is USe0 Tor FRO
ducing New Sort of Intoxication.
special TO the Indianapolis journal
NEW YORK, Sept. 26-Something worse than
opium or choral is reported to the New York
Medical Society. Several city practitioners
found out that few persons were using hyos
cine to produce a sort of intoxication that re-
suited in profound slumber. The drug is hy
drobromate and has to a limited extent been
used in medicine in lieu of atrophine for relief
in epilepsy and other diseases of the nerves. 1t
is obtained from a German plant, and is usually
on sale by German apothecaries in this city.
The supply has been small, and the price
about seventy five cents grain; but suddenly
increased demand nearly exhausted the stocks
and sent the price to dollar The doses must
be infinitesmal in order not to be dangerous, and
the peril of selfdoslng lies in the liability to kill
by carelessly swallowing or hypodermically in
jecting too much. The experimenters with it
proved chiefly to be medical students, drug clerks
and others acquainted with it's soporifc quail
ties. Hard drinkers employed it to force sleep,
and very nervous persons drove off insomnia
with it. 1t order test its effects, it has been
systematically administered to thirty-six insane
patients in the State Hospital for the Insane
by Drs. Langdon and Paterson, who say that
the effects prove the very great danger of hyos-
cine eating. They found that it would indeed
compel sleep in most cases. but that its habitual
use would surely bring muscular paralysis and
delirium of particularly violent sort. The So
ciety will ask the LEGISLATURE to forbid it's sale
except on prescription.