The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-06-11
He Missed the Trafn.

1T had strange experience in your
city one night about week ago." said
Mr.. Thomas J. Hurley of Baltimore, as
he stood in the Girard House, Philadel.
phia, the other night, talking with two
newspaper men. The "Colonel," as he
is generally called, is an excellent rason-
teur. BE served with O famous New
York cavalry regiment during the civil
war, engineered one or two big financial
schemes in Europe, did considerable
government and telegraph surveying on
the plains and New Mexico, and is now
Secretary and Treasurer of a malt whis.
key company. On being pressed to tell
his story, he lit fresh cigar, and said:
III had missed the 6 o'clock p. m. train
for Baltimore, and had. theFefore, feT
hours to spare. strolling along a certain
street 1 saw q number of people entering
large building, and I decided on fol-
lowing them. Just as I passed through
the inner door grave.looking gentleman
standing by said, extending his hand:
Colonel, l am glad to see you. Come
right along followed him, mounted a
platform which was filled with ladies
and gentlemen, and took the seat offered
me amid loud applause, the Chairman
stepping over to where | sat, grasring
me by the hand, and bidding me vel
come. The proceedings opened with
prayer, and of course I felt perfectly at
home, but when the speaker began to
launch out against all whiskey dealers I
realized for the first time that [ had got
into a temperance meeting. Then the
Chairman made a few remarks, and
wound up by saying that Colonel -,
who was with them, was obliged to catch
a train, but that he would address them
briefly, and give some startling facts as
to the evils of intemperance. l can't
tell you how felt, boys. I have made
some political and after dinner speeches,
but here vas something / had not calcu-
lated on, and I felt like saying with the
poet:
Oh! what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive.
II had to say something, however, and
so after a drink Of 'Sckuylkill water
from the glass before me I began to di.
late on the horrors of drunkenness.
Then told couple of stories-John B.
Cough chestnuts-that made the audi
ence laugh, and wound up by saying that
intemperance was caused more by the
fact that people drank bad liquor than
that they drank at all, and that as many
physicians and heads of families believe
that stimulants are necessary in sickness,
they ought to prescribe medical whis.
key instead Of giving vile stuff which
masquerades as whiskey. Then | sat
down. There was silence; you could
have heard cork drawn; I had given
them more whiskey than they were used
to, and the Chairman said: That was
a remarkable ending to your speech,
Colonel; one would almost think you
were in the whiskey business | admit.
ted the soft impeachment, told him who
I was, and how the mistake occurred.
Well, could see u storm brewing, and
began to think there would be Bret
Harte society on the Stanislaus scene,
with myself as chief actor. So seized
my hat, got down from the platform,
made post haste for the door, and in hur.
rying down stairs met the veritable Col
onel, my doeppelgauger, as the Germans
would call him, coming up. He was
certainly like me-the same build and
complexion, same color of eyes, and
wore his hair short, as do. If [ had
been minute later there whould have
beeu revised version of "Oliyette." I
finally got out alive, but have received
letters from a few of the audience tell.
ing me it was mean to do such thing.
But, boys, the chances for the 'ad' I could
not afford to lose, and therefore took the
chances -PhilndelDhiG Times.