Smyrna times., 1885-08-12

my and the twins alOng?"
Don't be ridiculous, Will We are
going professionally, not as frivolous
pleasure-seekers.
beg pardon. OF course that alters
the case, said Will, winking solemnly
at his mother, with the eye fartherest
from Patty.
The following day Patty cut from the
"Chanticleer, and pasted intOh her scrap
book, this delightful paragraph
1.-The 'Chanticleer, always wide
awake to the interests of its immense
list of subscribers, and sparing no pains
or expense to justify their liberal patron
age, has added to its attractions a social
column, and secured for its editor, Hig-
ginsville's favorite poetess, Miss Patty
Brown, lady too well known to fame to
require laudation from us.
" Items of interest the bon ton, invita-
tiOns, requests for personals, and so
forth, should be addressed to Social,
care of this office"
The first week nothing in particular
happened. The second, Patty enthusi-
astically declared that it was so nice to
write pleasant things of your friends,
and receive their gratitude. The third
she heard that Mrs. Smith was furious
because Mrs. Green's house had been
spoken of as "palatial mansion, while
her own, which was half story taller
was designated as a "hOspitable villa"
That same day her best friend passed
her ON the street with the coolest of
bows, owing, she afterwards learned, to
said friends party dress figuring in
print as "sprigged instead of bro
caded.
Melissa LOngbow stopped her a block
further ON, and complained that her
dress had been described as muslin. and
not as suIah silk
" 1t wouldn have cost you anything"
said the irate Melissa, land l should
have bought three papers to send away.
Now l won't. See what you lost by
your meanness.
Melissa's eloquence was broken in
two i'll the middle by Mrs. Boggs COM
ing up to demand an apology Her
Susie's name had been omitted from the
list OF those present at the last meeting
OF the DOrcas Society. "The poor child
had almost cried her eyes out.
The forth week she broke down with
a nervous headache, and could not finish
the report of the weeks doings, where
upon the majority of Higginsville's
population rOse and denounced her as
partial, and toady to the rich and
great
The fifth week, with fire in her eve,
and fury i'll her heart, she called mt the
office to inquire of McFad if he Thought
she would 50 far forget herself as to
attend beer garden dances and free
lunches, invitations to such festivities
having been delivered to her by Sammy,
the co onel's ten-year-old hopeful.
The suave colonelexplained that was
a mistake. The invitations were inten-
ded for the foreman. Thus peace was
restored, but only to take flight forever
the following week, when her Youngest
brother, Tommy, came home from
school to ask if it were true that She
meant to marry old Major Possum?
The boys Mt school said their pas and
and mas thought she was setting her cap
for him, because she wrote him such
gushing personals. and such a lot of
them.
This was oomuch. Truth to tell. the
festive major had kindly saved her the
trouble by writing his own personals.
That evening, when the colonel
dropped in" as was his habit of late.
Patty promptly resigned her position,
giving dozen or two out of the many
scores Of reasons she had for the STEP
He was plainly disconnected, and
attempted to rally her out of her reso-
luton.
You are two sensitive" he pros
trated. Being woman no one would
think Of thrashing you"
Patty was obdurate.
I'm dreadfully disappointed. con-
fesSed the colonel disconsolatelv rubbinr
the shiny spot on the top of his head.
4" 1 took great comfort in considering
You us a co-laborer and-and talking
things over, and getting the benefit of
your womanly intuitions. And Sammy
-Sammys heart will be broken when I
tell him he is not to come for any more
copy"
Il shall always be glad to see Sammy
whenever he feels inclined to call"
6 could not allow that. l fear he
would prove troublesome. Tell Won
what Miss Patty, he continued, with
sudden change of the subject ..vou
mustn't quit You must try your hand
at the obituaries. There is poetic scope
in them. 1 don't wonder at your getting
sick of calling calico wrappers dainty
costumes, aplate of sardines n collation.
and mush and milk for three a banouet'
but this will be more congenial. It's
easy writing, and pretty. All you've
got to do is to speak of the old fellows
as old oaks fallen, the young ones. MS
stately cedars lay low. The ladies' are all
angels, and the children rosebuds. Then
you can throw in something about tho
dread reaper, the dark-robed angel, It
ceteFd, and make consOling reflections
about the sweet by and by and there
you are"
Patty at first refused, but was finally
won over.
"Old Mullins died yesterday; you NAV
begin with him, " said the editor. "He
was a regular subscriber so give him a
good send off"
"Why, what can say?" asked Patty,
in amazement.
well, confessed the editor, "vou
might say that he is dead at last, of deli.
rum tremens, and the only wonder was
that the high-temperedold soak had lasted
so long, but perhaps the family would |
ikeit better ifyOu putt that Mr.. Mullins.
our esteemed fellow citizen, breathed his
last Tuesday morning. He had been il
failing health for some time, but the i'm. |
mediate cause of his death was brain
fever. If you feel desperately honest
ag,sT- |. u 4