The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-01-08

OA8<AAoN oOvoo d OoA1O@s
A GOOD four in-hand-four aces.
Too 1HIN-the average ballet girl.
Losr arts-the missing picnic pies.
WHEN q man labors ten hours day
for eight hours pay. he lsbors under .
mistake. PretsePs Weekly.
A CORRESPONDENT wants TO know
why some women are called amazons.
Perhaps il il because they are uncom-
monty wide at the mouth.
"WHY am like lemon p she asked,
and then she expected him to say: Be
cause you are being squeezed" But
he didn't He said Because you are
sour"
IT is wrong to strike friend. Even
il you strike him for two dollars. He
is certain to think that the strike is two
dolorous for him to fully appreciate. =
Carl Pretzel's Weekly.
WHEN Fogg came into the room un-
expectedly Mrs. F. gave o scream and
exclaimed: you frightened me half
to DEATH" "Did II" was the unfeeling
reply. Suppose l try it over again.
AT West Point hop the band
crashed out few final bars and sudden
stopped, when the voice of lovely lit
tie lady in pink was heard yawning at
the top of her lungs: Don't my new
hustle hang like daisy!"
A NEGRO died recently in Richmond,
Va, aged 100, who never had been
George Washington's body servant, and
did not remember ever having seen him.
The grandson of the prodigy has re-
ceived fattering offers to lecture.
A WITNESS in court, questioned by
lawyer as to the general reputation OF
another witness, was asked whether the
individual was not a notorious liar.
why" said he, mot exactly that; he
is what I call an intermittent liar
That was very p-g-liar.
ONE THING.
She had such pretty. bright blue eyeo-
And waving hair or golden sheen:
A saucy nose and cherry lips,
And stately manners OF queen.
But OH there was one little fault,
One blemish all these charms among;
This lovely rosebud had one thoin,
She had-ahs! she had tongue.
IT is said that the Queen of Spain
does not care much for her husband,
who is in very poor health. One day
Alfonso asked her what he should get
for her on her birthday, and she said
she wanted nice shawl. What color
would you prefer 2" BLACK and white,
dear. You know your health is so pre-
carious. "-Teras Sifti7sgs.
AT fancy dress party young lady
was dressed in O marvellous dress of
green and red, in which imaginative
eyes were supposed to discover some
more or less resemblance to lettuce and
lobster. What do you represent, Miss
M. ?" gentleman inquired, as they
took their places in set. Don't you
see?" she returned laughing; I'm
salad" "O!" was her partners retort,
while he flashed o quick eye over the
very liberal exposure OF her person;
"but haven't you forgotten to put on
the dressing ?"-BostOn Courier.
POETS THOUGHT.
saw them last night leaning over the gate
Two thistle down bangs side by side
You might know by the little round cap on his
pate
And you might have known. too, by the gum In
her cheek,
And her fyaway hat. and the red
Little head underneath. that her mind she could
| In case there w aught to be said
Well, there still she stood. with her mouth full
of gum,
And a yummy-yum look In her eyes.
With a tongue that went on with planning
mills hum
Or n photograph in for prize;
But thought, as i heard them exchanging their
vows,
And indulging in loves happy dream,
| would sooner hire out To keep of the cows
Then provide that same girl with ice-cream
"YEs, Biddy Muldoon, Moike is rois-
in in circumstances. Lasht Thursday
Moike KEN home wild tin hat and
glimmer pants an whit out to shoot Of
Roman pinwheels fer Jimmy Blaine,
an the mkt he was a howlin fer Cleve-
land, an thin he goes out and whoops
her up fer Butthlar, an mkt night he
wallops Nick Cleary fer not gettin'
dhrunk wild him fer the glory of st.
John. Bechune the four av thin
Moike is dom glorious, an whin the
poles are runnin' Moike will cast four
votes in sivin warruds, be the token, at
81 each. The country is in danger,
Biddy, but for downright, arrest soul
sarchin' warrud worruk, give me moi
Moike an four can didates.