San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1885-07-30
LOVE. HONOR AND OBEY"
. Some Facts Concerning the Question OF
wIfely Obedience.

wifely Obedience.
A young woman of eighteen who mar
ried a man of forty the other day in
Newark church crooked her finger dur
ing the ceremony so that the groom
contrary to his former experiences on
such occasions unable to get the
ring beyond the second joint Upon
being asked during the reception that
followed rs TO the cause OF the hitch in
the proceedings at the altar, the young
lady explained that she made mental
reservauon IN repeating the promise to
love, honor and obey, and had also kept
the ring from going lower down because
she had heard that il II was stopped at
the second Joint the wife would be able
TO rule the husband, while if il went TO
the hand the husband would be SUI
premc.
The superstition about crooking the
finger is not very prevalent, and the
ring almost always goes clear down;
but there Is reason to believe that the
mental reservation in the promise OF
obedience is common enough. In fact,
the notion that the moGern woman
sense MS Is meant by the words OF the
marriage service IS y mere myth that
has come down with the marriage
formula. The same equallzing spirit
that has so modified woman's statutes
as TO abolish the old notion that man
and his wife are legally one person, and
to enable her to hold and manage her
own property almost as independently
as the husband can manage his, has
nearly wiped out the idea of obedience
from the ordinary estimate of the holy
estate of matrimony Practically speak
ing, the woman rules fully rs often as
the man-more arbitrarily sometimes
more absolutely in some cases than u
man ever would think of doing.
Time was when for q refractory dis
position man might lawfully correct
his wife by vigorous application of the
birch. The punishment must in all
cases be reasonable" and it was held
that he must not fog her with stick
thicker than his thumb; but she could
be reduced to submission by the man of
the house, if frequent whippings would
do il, not only without danger OF pun
ishmcnt to the man, but with the posi-
tive approval of his neighbors and prob.
ably also of all his wife's friends. If
domestic discipline in those days proved
insufficient to control her tongie--for
it was for ollcnses of speech rather than
deed that the wife was commonly cor
rccted-she was taken before the Mag
istrate and tried for common scold,
and if convicted was set upon the public
ducking-stool by the constable and
soused in horse pond or some conven-
lent river.
1t is perhaps to be regretted that no
statistics are or can be kept showing
the extent and usual consequences of
uuarrels between married people, and
III would be interesting to know if such
information was attainablc-w whether,
on the average, matrimonial unions
rwere happier and more peaceful when
the husband had the legal right and
practical power TO compel obedience
from the wife than they are now when
he has only shadowy and sentimental
sort of obedience if he has any ut all
that is supposed to be inculcated by the
language used in the wedding ceremony
There IS a sort of womanly obedience
that amounts to devotion. II comes
only from women who are capable Of
great love. and from them only when
Il happens that they are Joined TO men
who are fortunate enough Ia command
their utmost respect aS well rs alice
ticn. If all the men in large city
were TO be called together and asked TO
raise their right hands if they believed
themselves masters of their own homes
through love. it j. to be feared that
not more than half the arms would go
up.
In point of fact women are much
more fond Of control a. home than men
are. and much more likely to exercise
il. il Is common 10 hear 4 woman boast
how she manages her husband. and
very often-perhaps il may be- said gen
orally her management j. most .UIi-
c:ouS. In many things woman has
more tact than u man. ard she i likely
enough TO have that superiority al
Judgment which fairly cnt!tlr, Ecr Go
obedience.
1t would get rel Of a sort Of harmless
sham To give up the cniirc notion 81 a
married wumau's subordinate position
bv which she ow = 10 her husband some
sort Of ol5aii.u.- which Dec duv- up' owe
10 her. In this ags and CJultrg the
thing Itself do,.s not exist \ child is
supposed - Obey IT, Tarruis. amt ciii-
zrn 10 ol,ev the lsw-s Luf nobody 1llu-
poses that. in AM IKE name e. VIE
obrys her husband c- j. bound Go racs
hin. The NewarS -ri was rig,' in hcr
view u the case. thou-h ,lte took uoi
very e.ficariOus m-'h1i 81 IyH ding ih-
danger. There j. ~ sgusr il f.rf' nc
into a womau's ruouih q promise 20 oi''-
diencc which she never iufrni- o. keef'-
-Iiefr1a lgsL