Huntsville gazette., 1885-07-04


thieves and adventures generally
passed the frontiers triumphant, while
otherwise honest folks frequently paid
the penalty of being caught in an occa-
sional breach of the moralities.
Snow my wife, Ike all her sex, had
peculiar notions on the subject of con-
traband goods. She held-in common,
l am bound to say, with many other
wise scrupulously honest folks-tnat
Custom-house officials were only IN
vented for the annoyance of travellers,
and as such it was not only allowable
but praisew orthy to circumvent them
in every possible way.
''In short, it was case Of all being
fair in love or war They were there
to detect and prevent the passage of
certain articles. 1t was obviously the
duty of every right-minded person to
resent this arbitrary conduct on their
part by carrying from one country to
another as many of the said articles,
concealed more or less ingeniously upon
their persons, as the nature of the case
permitted.
II, on the contrary, not only had
serious qualms as to the honesty of the
proceeding in question. but being then.
as now, Of naturally timid disposi-
ton, conceived that the pleasure of
evading the payment of few dollars
on piece of lace or a box of cigars
would be dearly purchased by the anx-
iety which should endure when per-
ceived the eye of stern-visaged official
fixed upon me. and felt that I looked
like murderer, and should politely be
detained on suspicion, and perhaps
searched.
''Even the tenor of this last appeal
to her reason failed to convince my wife.
81 am sure no one would ever want
to search me, shc insisted. And l
really don't see the harm
''To which / replied in the words Of
well-known novelist, that i had never
known but one woman who could un-
derstand reason, and she wouldn't lis
ten to it.
"Well, to make long story short,
we argued the question out until both
of us became quite warm, and [ ended
by absolutely forbidding my wife to
carry anything of a contraband nature
on her person. She made no reply,
and 1, fond man, supposed the matter
settled. l had only been married few
months, and | had the most absurd
ideas-as my wife will tell you-on the
subject of duty and obedience, and so
forth. You see did not know the sex.
1--WE had delightful run through
Europe without any special disaster,
and my wife's air of injured innocence
expressed for the most part in very
Indifferent French, but making up in
expression what it lacked in idiom-
when asked to declare any dutiable ar
ticles, was positively beyond descrip-
ton.
''It was at Brussels, I think, that /
read in one of the English papers of.
the arrest Of two French women at
Dover charged with smuggling over
quantity of lace which they had
wrapped around their persons under
their clothing, and which was only dis
covered by their being searched by the
officials. 0' WY
''The writer added that a regular
corps of female searchers had been
added to the department, and that sus-
PlClOuS CL1dl NClC lnNltCu W StCD
in and interview these ladies with a
view to vindicating their appearance or
failing under the tenure of the law.
Il showed the paper to my wife,
whose only comment was, More fools
they
Il suppose she meant to express her
contempt for women who were foolish
enough to look suspicious. / thought
at the time she intended to convey her
opinion of the folly of attempting to
outwit her Most Gracious Maiesty's
servants, and l felt relieved at the idea
that my arguments had prevailed upon
her at last.
"Once more, Brown, old fellow, /
showed my ignorance of the sex.
My arguments had had. precisely the
same weight with her as my COM
mands.
'Mrs. Robinson spent good deal of
money in Brussels. Indeed when, on
our way to Ostend, l came to add up
the amount had given her during our
short stay, l felt, l must confess, little
staggered to find how much. But it
seemed little early to allude to such
mundane matters, and held my peace,
only considering what the dickens she
had got to show for it ALL
'On the steamer, as in duty bound,
Mrs. Robinson paid that tribute of re-
spect which Father Neptune demands
of the majority of those who venture
upon his dominions. In word, Mrs.
Robinson was awfully seasick. And, l
may add, not in the best of humor.
And when, in asking for her keys, l
confessed the hope that she had fol-
lowed my wishes and abstained from
bringing over anything dutiable in her
trunks, she was very injured-and tell
it not to Gath-rather cross.
"I think you might have more con-
sideration, Henry, than to bother me
at such time. Let the wretches look
for themselves: They'll find nothing
in my boxes, can tell you
II went on deck again with the keys,
and had plenty of time to get a little
out of temper myself by the time we
reached the pier. Still, 1 should have
been more than appeased by the vision
of my wife's suffering, but to my as
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