Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-01-23
Cumming for Office.

been visa versa. The sheriff had
run for me. 1t was in the year
1882. was a resident Of Chewed'
Dog county, Montana, and being
urged to accept the candidacy by
my friends, | finally submitted to
their entreaties; more for the pur-
pose OF finding out who | really
was, than anything else. | had in
advertently mislaid my genealogy
somewhere, and knew by running
for the sheriaality, where the oppo-
sitlon was great, should find out
my entire record from the time |
formed an alliance with small ship
ments of sugar, done up in cotton
cloth, till came west and learned
to eat pie with a knife and wipe
my nose on the napkin.
The result was as | had anticipat-
cd. The velocity and numerous
ness with which my past life came
to the surface, rather surprised me.
found to my astoniShment that my
parents were both black, and being
white when born, filled my fathers
heart with lot of horrible suspl'
cions, and he committed suicide by
eating two consecutive cans OF
Boston baked beans, and left moth
er with nothing but a fOrty-inch
wash tub and a halfpound bar of
soap, with which to support herself
and child. It seems thatI had been
born without legs, but through
some strange freak of nature, when
| was about eighteen months old, a
couple of these useful instruments
Of lOcOmotiOn, commenced to grow
on me, and by the time | was Il
years old, l had a pair of well de-
veloped legs, and enjoyed perfect
control over them, rs could be testi-
fled to by several gross of creditors,
whose aflidavits had been procured
and bound in calf for use in the
campaign. | learned that when Is
years Of age, | had caused the death
of my mother, 10y allowing a large
/ tom cat to suck her breath, while
she was asleep, and | displayed an
abnormal development Of gall and
hard finish, by pawning her wash
Tub and purchasing red necktie to
wear to her funeral. My education
was limited. | attended a reform
school three days, whenI graduated
through hole | managed to dig
under the stone wall that surround
Ell the grounds, and went to the
Fiji Islands, where become a Zulu,
and lived on fricaseed missionary.
Returning to the United States, |
won the love Of a charming girl in
IIob0kcn, and after dallying with
her affections for more than two
months, had cruelty married her.
The marriage proved to be legal
one. for which | was driven from
Hobolen society. | returned in
three weeks, and in spite Of the
threats of the citizens, continued to
live with my wife. The perssten-
cy with which clung to my wife
and supported her proved too much
for her constitution based on. mod
ern ideas, and she slowly plned
away and died.
came to Montana in the fall of
1850, and had seriously intcrlered
with three lynchiug matches by
threatening to shoot the first man
who should attempt to put a rope
around my neck and had atrocious-
ly saved the life of a horse thief
who was aiterwardproyen innocent.
| was the leader of a desperate gang
Of murderers, and had shot my
dearest friend for refusing to loan
me twenty-five cents to buy 4
whisky cocktail. 1t had been no
ticed that | invariably cleaned my
boots before going into the house
of a neighbor; always used a quill
instead Of bowie knife to pick my
teeth, and on several occasions had
been noticed to eat my pic with a
fork.
\ large number Of the country
papers took great pleasure III pub
fishing this biographical sketch of
me, in weekly segments, and they
were read with much interest by
me. as they contained large fund
of information. The mystery that
shrouded my early life, was always
a source of embarrassment to me,
and | was exceedingly well pleased
to know just exactly who was. |
called around at the several news
paper Offices with my revolver at
full cock to give the editors my re-
cards. but always found them not
in. have often thought since, if
! I had looked under the press |
might have found them.
The campaign was very allec-
tionate one, and by dint of Montana
whisky and a free use Of firearms
at the polls, won the election by a
majority of two. / always got a
deal of satisfaction from it by look
ing at it this way, two two won.
My administration lasted just
seven months, and was marked with
great success. | formed joint
stock company with the county
treasurer, aud we converted the
contents of the treasury into
personal property and retired from
business, also from Montana. We