The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-25
Puffer, GamboI and Sloan.
benjamin Northrop.l

benjamin Northropl
~ wonder what Ia the trouble between
PJffer and Gambol and Sloan. They hate
him like poison remarked the Judge
Haven't you heard? inquired the major.
'sNo; what is it!'
'YO GU know what a terrible hand Puffer
writes? Some one told him once that he
wrote distingue hand, and it set him up so
that he now writes worse than ever. Well,
that happens to be his sensitive point He
prides himself on it. Gambol has q weak
point, tOo-his eyes He can't help being
cross-eyed, but it worries him all the same.
When he GOES to the theatre he sits with his
back to the stage to see the performance.
He is a frst-rate fellow, though. About
month ago Gambol asked Sloan to introduce
him to Puffer Now, Sloan can't help play
ing practical joke any more than he can
live without eating. III arrange that for
tomorrow, answered Sloan, but you had
better take a pad of paper and pencil
along with you. He is as deaf as a post,
poor fellow. he can't even hear the fore
man swear al MS copy. He is terribly SEN
sitive about it, too. So when you meet him
just act as if you knew all about it III see
you at his office at noon tomorrow
ga few minutes later Sloan was seated in
the editorial rooms of The Leader.
''T want to bring a friend up here to
meet you tomorrow he remarked to
Puffer.
g Glad to meet any friend of yours, re-
sponded the editor.
- He is friend of yours, too replied
Sloan. He greatly admires your editorials.
There is one popularity about him,
though
g What's thatp
- He's deaf as clam. He can't hear it
thunder. He doesn't know it's raining I'M
til he misses his umbrella. He is very
touchy on that point, and you had better
have some paper and pencil ready for him
when he comes, and act as if you always
knew he was deaf It viii make him feel
easier
THE next day at noon Sloan and his visi-
tor entered The Leader Office. Puffer was
waiting for them. Sloan took their cards,
and gave Puffer'S to Gambol, and vice versa.
Both men smiled at each other encouraging
ly, and, producing pads of paper big enough
to write a presidents message on, sat down
beside the editorial desk.
g 4 am glad to meet YOU wrote Puffer on
his pad.
''Gambol took the scrawl and looked at it,
first out of one eye and then out of the other.
A puzzled look came over his face. Finally
he turned the paper upside down, and
light of intelligence broke over his counten-
ance Taking up his pencil, he wrote:
& L am exceedingly sorry to hear it. Did
you ever UIy dnU uSIlO0u
it back to Puffer.
When Puffer read this, his mouth opened
with establishment. He took his pencil and
wrote on the bottom of the sheet:
s. i don't want any extract. l am not
sick. I simply said was pleased to meet
you
'"Then he showed the paper over to Gam
Dol, and waited for reply. If Gambol was
puzzled at the first communication, he was
in reality stricken dumb at the second. He
glanced appealingly at Sloan, who was at
that moment attentively looking at a pic
ture on the wall, with his handkerchief in
his mouth to smother his laughter. Finally
he struck what seemed to him to be a clue,
and he wrote in reply:
Yes, thanks, don't care if I do; but
don't you think we had better go to lunch
frstY
'"Then he handed back the roll to the edi-
tor, and smiled a smile of mingled self-satis-
faction and relief.
''When Puffer saw the answer his disgust
rose beyond his control. He rose up in his
chair, took the paper and handed it to Sloan.
g See here Sloanp he shouted, See what
this grandson of a lunatic has written. This |
fool evidently doesn't understand |
his own language. What in Tophet did you
want to bring such strabisrnic ass up to |
this office to see me for? Here, take this !
paper and write to him that I am sick to- |
day, or dead, or anything, and don't want
to write any more; and the next time you
bring deaf and dumb idiot up here to see
me just let me know, and FL run out of
town for week or So
That's all rightr yelled Gambol, as he
danced around the table. That's all right,
but if wrote hand like yours I'd print my
etters I'd spell them out on my fingers I'd
lire q schoolboy to write for me. I'd
Say gasped Puffer, 'ain't you deafg