St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-01-08
SquibS.

A recent novel begins: "She sat
there silently for some time" We did
not read any fin ther, for when IL book
starts out with Il deliberate falsehOod
! IL annOys us.
The inventor of the hand organ died
| I0S years ago. Mark Antony was right
when he declared that "the evil men
do lives after them. y Lowell Citizen.
''What do you suppose found in
my stockings Christmas morning e.
writes a friend. From what we know
of our friends habits, we will hazard
guess that it was holes. Burlington
Free Press.
A camel will work for seven or eight
days without drinking. In this he
differs from some men who will drink
seven or eight days without working.
ri Lowell Courier.
"IIave yon heard from Smith ?" "No.
What about him ~ ''Why, they say
he's lying at deaths door" "Indeed.
Well, that merely shows the truth of
the proverb that the ruling passion is
strong even in death. y Blizzard.
The man who thought he could live
on the "milk of human Kindness" has
starved to death. You can't live on
any kind of milk nowadays.
An old opera revised. Things are
seldom what they seem; skim milk
masquerades as cream lard and soap
we eat for cheese /; butter is but axle
grease. Dealer lin Whisper Every
Lrue, so you do."-GN. Y. Graphic.
Leap year is over, and coachmen
are looking forward to greater freedom
from annoying proposals. - Troy
Times.
"Have you ever heard that Snifkins
was particularly smart ?" asked Blob
sou of Popinjay. 81 have heard that
he showed particular Indications of
ability in his youth" "How so p
"Why, he graduated IA long while he
fore the rest of his class in college,"
a Burlington boy calls the repairs
which his mother puts into his pants,
on account of the dissimilitude of ma
teIial, 'crazy patchwork"
when washing the child" remarks
a mother, "wasb the eyes first of all,
so that no impurities from the body
can enter them" 1t is also Advisable
to fill the infants mouth with soapsuds
so that it can't disturb the neighbor-
hood with it's yells.
The reason farm hands are so scarce
can he accounted for in the fact that u
man can't get moments rest OIL the
barbed wire fence now in use. The
old rail fence offered some indncement
to ia man To engage OH a farm, but this
barbed wire business don't give man
any show ut all Peck's Sun.
No, my son, prize-tighte never go .
to war. They know that IA cannon
ball bent on knocking a man out in
one round doesn't stop and go back to
it's own corner merely because a man
lies down. You never hear of priZG
fighter fighting anywhere unless there
is lots of gate money behind the fight.
~ Burlington Hawkeye.
No, my son, when gentleman tells
a funny story never be so rude rs to
augh. Do not let him finish il you
;an help it. At the first opportunity
remark, Eyes, that reminds me of "a
story and then 20 on and tell it, even
f y0n have to tell the same one lie ltas
Just told yon with different names and
Iocadities--lN. Y. Mail
Mr.. Warner, of Rochester, offers two
hundred dollars for each comet dis
covered during the present year and
get hundreds of men stand around
Of the scarcity of work
instead of hunting for comets Five
comets would bring $1,000 which is
more than great many men make by
working ten hours = day during the
entire year. NOrristown Herald.