The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1885-07-31
The Queens Household.

In reckoning all the sinecures cover
cd by the single list in England, we
find 931 persons attached to her maj
esty Victoria, (the servants not in
cluded.) The Enumeration is itself
highly interesting. will take by way
of specimen only that Of Lord Chamb.
berlain. The noble Lord ia at the head
of all the persouel of the royal house
hold, excepting that of bed chamber.
lie has such countless number of
duties that he could never perform if
the greater portion of them had not
been farmed out to numberless crowd
of subalterns.
The fortunate incubent of this post
at present is Lord Kenmare, a person
as stupid as he is pretentious. To be
chamberlain no higher quality is ne
cessary than to be able to read, write
and reckon. A Catholic by birth and
a flunkey by nature, Kenmare has
nothing else to engage his attention
than the court and his faith. The
great work of his life is his Killarney
mansion of which he is very proud. In
politics he wished to put in an appear
ance like other people; he presented
himself in Parliament once to affirm
his conviction and vote against the
Irish tenant disturbance bill His ten
ants on his Killarney estate testified
their gratitude for this action by re-
fusing to pay penny of rent AL
though an Insignificant parsonage,
Lord Kenmare is on the whole an
agreeable companion, good shot and
knows how to stand on his dignity
when circumstances demand it.
The mission of the vjce-chamberlain
is 10 assist the chamberlain, but he
rids himself of this weighty burden
by shouldering it on comptroller of
accounts who in turn passes it on to
superintendent. The superintendent
has it relegated to three clerks, who
hand it over to three assistant clerks.
After the chamberlain comes the pri-
vate treasurer and secretary to the
queen, Sir Henry Ponsonby, fifty-eight
year of age, and for the past seven
years guardian of the privy purse.
This last function imposes on him
difficult task, embracing as it does the
appeals for assistance addressed to the
queen. These appeals embrace among
others the gratuities given to mothers
who are 80 fortunate as to give birth
to triplets.
A master of ceremonies, as assistant,
marshal, eight aid.de.camps, eight
gentleman in attendance, themselves
assisted by number of supernumera-
ries or postulants, have to fulfil the
duty of taking dinner with her maj
est in their turn to make up the num-
Der at table and help tho other guests
TO Danish the royal ennui. Then come
four members of the privy council, a
black rod and score of other bizarre
officials, among whom are eight SER
geant-at-arms When these latter were
created their duty consisted of mounting
guard near the royal tent, clad in their
armor, their swords at their side, arm
ed with bow and quiver and hold
ing their ceremonial baton. Their
mission was to watch and arrest trait
ors. But in our days traitors must
necessarily be rare, as these sergeant
at. arms have never been able to exhibit
one in return for the round million
that their occupation has cost the nat
ion since the accession of the queen.
The grand master of the court, Gen
eral Francis Seymour, lost his sight in
the Crimea, and always wears single
eye-glass, which gives him grimace
TO his features and gives him an air
of ferocity, although at the bottom he
is the most amiable man in the world.
Who knows but that ferocious air
comes from the internal despair at the
way his wife murders music This bet.
ter half of his who is known as the
beautiful country woman, is the most
consummate type of personal blindness
(although she did not accompany her
husband to the Crimea) A naive
and pretentious country woman, her
conversation is dotted with the most
ridiculous absurdities and stupidities.
Even her great beauty cannot atone
for her astonishing stupidity. Her
presumption equals that of Lady
Arhibald Campbell. She sings at con-
certs although she dees not know a
single note Of music; l say 'sings''
for politeness sake; the perspiration
rolls in beads from the poor artists who
must follow her; she is at once the
nightmare and the scarecrow of all who
accompany her, so stupid is she that
l dare not even hope that this notifi-
cation Of the ridicule with which she
overwhelms herself will open her
eyes.
Another curious parsonage of the
court is the grand champion, who, on
the day of the coronation, presents him
self before parliament and declares him
self ready to pick up the glove if any
one will throw it down and pretend to
contest the rights of the sovereign.
There are besides crowd of digni
taries, such as the corps of the serge
ants, the armed heralds, body guards,
pages, superintendent, master of ten
mis- court, boatmcn to the queen, guard
ians of the swans, grand falconer,
grand master of the hounds, and SO