The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-06-03
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Bad habits-Worn- out garments.
A railroad strike-A collision. --Er.
A roller-skater is known by his bumps.
Sallie Ratus is the girl that takes the
biscuit. The Hatchet.
The wife's pathway in life is generally
buy way.-BoSton Post.
When a stovepipe is cut at the elbow
the SCOT begins to play out.
In Denmark the rooms in the hotel are
all bald-headed-that is, they have no
locks. -Sytings.
Would it be just to say that all physi-
clans partially get their living by pill
agel-The Judge.
According to the doctrine of the sur
vival of the fittest, the last man will un.
doubtedly be tailor.-Life.
Often cold shoulder pleas0s the recip-
lent, especially if it happens to be a cold
shoulder of lamb. Waterloo Observer.
The empress of Austria has private
circus. Many American ladies have
them to on lodge nights. = Oourier-Jour-
nal.
A poetess sings, "I Have Found
What Silence Is" Her friends, it is
understood, are not so fortunate. Boston
Transcript.
"More light" is the watchword of
progress, but more of the opposite
quality in load of coal is what the
people are beginning to demand. = Chi
cagO Ledger.
"What is the dollar of our daddies'p
asked college paper. 1t is what the
average undergraduate pays his wagers
and anti-temperance subscriptions with.
-BurlingtOn Free Press.
"What One Girl Did is the title OF
new story. She doubtless did the
same as all other girls do--jump up on
table and frightened poor little mouse
to death.-NeW York. Journal.
A philosopher writes, "dan is the
merriest species OF the creation" Did
the philosopher ever see a man when it
was first broken to him that he was the
father of twins2 We trow not.-NesO
York Graphic.
"How Love is Made in Persia, is the
title of a recent article. 1t is probably
made there Of the same compound parts
as here, that is, millionaire's daughter
one part, impecunious nObleman one
part, desire for title forty nine parts, de-
sire for wealth forty y-nine parts. Mix
Boston Post.
ISIS says she can't come down to-
night: she has severe headache. That's
what she says; but Choly don't give it
away, she's lynn like house afre. She
hurt her bunion so tryin' to wear num-
Der two shoes on a number four foot,
that she can't walk" was the way a
Fourth street eight-year- excused his
sister when her beau called. -BrOOktyn
Times.
A sporting paper contains an article
entitled GLOW to prevent accidents in
the game Of baseball" This difficulty
may be overcome by the substitution of
garden digging for baseball. A young
man who is digging garden never gets
injured by running the bases or by the
bat flying out Of another players hand;
though when he gets through with the
game he may be induced to think he has
exchanged backs with a man one hun
dred and ninety-seven years old. Nor
rist0toR Herald.
"The spring has sprung again, sir,
And have brung sir,n
Said he, some little yerseets that the whole
world would like to read.
/ know you'd prize them,
You'd better revise them
In an idle hour l dashed them of at almost
lightning speed"
A journalistic
Encounter fistic
Then ensued, and, crashl the poet whirled
downstairs and through the door,
The bright young writer
Was not a fighter,
But he'd often dashed of poets at almost
lightning speed before.
-SOmerriHe Journal
There are 1876, 600 G hermen in France,
and about four fishermen out of every
1000 are drowned every year.