The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-06-20

he killed Il man years ago, thereby de-
stroying the clew which the detective
was working up.
Salt water is said to be a cure for
iunacy, 1t is certainly a cure foi
freshness, and that in some men
amounts almost to lunaey.
An Arizona man has stopped taking
an agricultural paper. He wrote to
the editor asking how to get rid OF
gnats. The answer came i'll the next
issue OF the paper, kill them"
"Will the hair grow after death?"
asks an anxious exchange. In the
case of married man we should sup
pose it would have better chance af-
ter death than during life.
"What shall we do with our girls?"
is again coming up vexed question.
Must we suggest that the answer
which has the most money in it is
Keep them out of the bonnet shops!
Girls didn't use to wear coats but
the fact that the wearing OF coat is
as near as a good many OF them can
come to being hugged by man is
whV the mail coat is worn by so
many.
The highest insult that can be of
fered to Russian maiden is to spread
tar on the front gate of her residence.
Many fsher-maiden in this country
doesn't object to having her tar on
the front gate of her abode.
She may live without dress-what is fashion
but lying?
, She may live without beaux-what is counting
but signing?
She may live without smiles-what Is laughter
but grlnning;
But where is the woman who can live without
"chinnng?'
If there is any suicidal tendency in
man it is apt to develop soon after
Z marriage, when he first discovers the
: pearly little teeth OF his sleeping dar-
+ ling drowning themselves in tumb-
Ter OH her dressing table
} Secretary Endicott has discovered a
| clerk in the War Department who
t was appointed by JEFF Davis when he
WAS Secretary Of War, This will con-
firm the New York Tribune in its be-
lief that the rebellion is not over yet.
e Chandler is in Washington looking
up Senator Blairs record to use in his
: fight against him for the U. s. Sena-
, tor. There is no need Of taking a trip
to Washington to look up Chambers
record. A trip on the Dolphin is suf-
ficient.
In Patagonia they tine a man two
goats for killing his wife. We know
a the yrlueof goats, and have seen pie
lures OF Patagonian women, and there
fore VIC can't understand why man
U in that country should be punished SO
: severely for killing his wife.
! In one way long speeches are pos
tive benefit. They relieve the speak
er and do not hurt the air into which
3 they are poured. 1t is different with
/ long, dull sermon, which is deliver
IS ed rs a duty and received as a punish.
u ment.
The vacation season is coming on
II Npace, and the usual large orders fol
l. canned goods are being filled for the
p proprietors of summer resorts, where
n fresh fruits and vegetables right out
OF the orchard and garden are the
)" chief attractions.
III They have introduced ladies' clubs
9 IN London, says an exchange
G. Though how in the world the Lon
donese have got along up the, presen
h time without rolling-pins and broom
1t sticks is one of the things that no fel
Ter has ever yet been able to find out.
Sc Two Troy men have invented ma
chine that will make 100000 match
re es in an hour. The thing should b,
" in great demand at the fashionable
ii watering places this summer. 1t i
II just what mothers with marriagebl
v. daughters have been looking for.
~ A Wall street broker went into
~ saloon and called for whiskey. Th
We barkeeFcr set out the bottle and
glass of water. whats that" aske,
v the broker, pointing to the water an,
pouring out the whiskey. "Watei
~ sir" whats it for?" ITO mix witt
il the whiskey." "Well take it ava,
10 Do you think I'm Jay Gould?"
70 40, say, maw exclaimed q brigh
, little girl at the Hoffman House Will
at dinner "hasn't that man over ther
N got awful big ears?' "Hush child
ne the gentleman might hear you," eau
r. toned the mother. "Well, ma" IT
ei torted the precociouss youngster, al