The Penn's Grove record., 1885-05-23

n AH.lIF 3 b...|'H"
she did not even peep.
The joke got all over the l"i-t'.
ha1d. and next quartcr-d.y M.5'' WI.
'gra gave notice To- the landlord
scPsR az Portsmouth harbnr.
Ctptnin a. Despatch 10 Secretary
Chandler Will you proceed Co il'
marter dgck2 The marines VIII salute
Won there. # is the custom.
secret ~ Of Navy "Ihf gn7rtel
Ieesl Beg pardon, Captain. ha' '.A
vcu th.ak the Secretary OF the J.Ile1
States NJ should be received "n tue
half-dollar deck, i you have oret
The Captain falls o%verboard.
Mis-. BLANK - 'Thaddeus Stevens
must have been a very careful man.
This book says he never passed d p"
without picking 1t nv.
NJ. Blank-"That's nothing. ! he"'
him at that myself.
"Why how, desr?'
"When I'm hunting for The paFeg'ii1
in my stCckirg feet, never pass a tSeA
w:thout~picking it up.
"WHAg a playful lambl" exclaimed a
city man as he watched an Old ram Try
ing TO batter down a stone wall
did rot know they were so iuil OF lun'
eFuul' echoed q farmer, satiriea!ly.
Hes mad, he is, and besides he ala
no lamb; he's a ram.
Dear me! l thought it wa a spring
lamb ,
rtfness ned better change butchers,
unused the farmer a. he moved OIL.
CLEARING or partly cloudy weather -
May said be, gazing into her bright
eyes, ''can you tell me why you are IKE
the weather. GIVE it up, said Mary,
quite promptly. Because, said Char
lie. lyon are so coqfo4 ,ded changeable,
You know Every good, said Mary;
''but can you tell me Charlie, why you
are not Ike the weather. Charlie hay-
ing failed to guess. she added: "because
the a here says the weather IS GO
ing to clear of" Charlie looked serl
u and began hunting ter his hat.
sTHE robbers cant steal my nam
mas earrings, cause papa's hidden
them" Interested lady yisitor-'ls
that so, dear? Why, where has he put
them, l wonder?' II heard him say
he's put them up the spout, and expects
they will stay there
A PARIS ieweler had long dunned a
lady of fashion for the amount OF his
big bill. but in vain. When he rings
the bell the footman says politely but
firmly: Sir, the countess only receives
Tuesday" 81 don't care when she re-
oeives, thunders the ipate and long
suffering creditor, "what 1 want to
know is the day she pays on
A BLIND Po5L-'I trust you are put
ting a few pennies aside in your savings
bank, " said a fond father to hls son who
was beginning to earn money by doing
errands and odd Jobs. Not any, pa.
Ever since l saw you shaking cut a
dime from it l have regarded 1t as a
blind pool. l have no faith in 1t.
That ended the boys catechism for that
lay,
TIr FOR TAT.-Mary-"Oh mem, In
o glad I've met you'll I've been and
posted my prayer-book instead OF your
Can l tell them they shau't have
he letter until they give me my prayer
,ook back?'
OLD pun in new dress. u don't see
what a man wants to lie abed in the
Forming for, remarked Lawyer Suitem.
OF course not" said Fog. at would
e no recreation for Die whose business
to lie all day
The number OF men known to fame
5 'the man with the iron jaw" has
cen reduced to ten this summer. The
ountry should see that the figures are
ept right there.
Two BOYS in Springfield, Ohio stole
whole CARLOAD of sheet music. That's
Il right; yon can't do anything with a
GLOW for just taking notes.
SALERATUs mixed mp with a little
nick cream, is excellent for burns.
lake into a nice soft pouItice, spread
upon a cloth, and bind it upon the
oald or burn, and renew as often as it
dry. This will relieve a burn al
last instantly. 1t should be kept on
NTH the fire is all drawn out.
Four brothers named Burnett re-
emily married four sisters named Ber-
y. This happened in Tennessee where
he berry crop Is usually choice and
plentiful.
The driven-welI patent, which has
'een the source of so much troublesome
litigation against far ners, expired on
January IA, 1885, and anyone is free
leroafter to drive a well on his own
PREMISES without fear of prosecution.
''WHAT is a pessimist, papa? asked a
lad. ga pessimist, my SON.
eplied the old man, sis one who would
ind fault with his aeat in Heaven. if he
yer got there
Ihls year the Council of the Society
# Arts, London, awarded the Albert
Medal to Louis PaSteur, Member of the
institute OF France, for 'llis researches
n connection with fermentation. the
reservation of wines, and the proven
ion of zymotic diseases IN silkworms
md domestic animals, whereby the arts
II wine making, silk production and
-guculture have been greatly benefit
d." THIS medal, a memorial of Prince
Albert, instituted IN 1862, is given an
Iually for distinguished merit in pro-
arts, manufactures or com
n%erce."
The question of the existence of earth
ides or oscillations of the earth's crust
corresponding to those produced in the
90 l~ Al, .NA-n.A.- !