Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-12-13
SEEK AND VI SHALL FIND
Arrofe.slonnl I.emInIscenes.
nv WILLIAM A. HAMMOND, NJ. n,

mary Wlilhru WAS very nSnoiv.S =,
AS girls 10. | had discovered this fact In
the course OF my professional relations
with her, and vet, Notwithstanding her
good intellectual development she was at
one time as near insanity as anyone that
had come under my observation. Indeed,
was often on the point OF being iully
convinced that she had passed the not
very distinct boundary line that separates
sanity from insanity, and she herself had
even less doubt that her mind was de-
ranged In some OF its most important fac
ulties But for all this she was sensible
girl, and very few but she and had the
slightest suspicion that there was any
thing out Of sorts with the mental part OF
her being.
She was neither wealthy nor fashions
Bile, but emily millner's apprentice. Her
case, however, was OF so striking char
acter that my professional interest was at
once aroused, and before long my sympa-
thy with her in her troubles was exlllo-
tied so that had double object In view
in my efforts,to be. OF service TO her.
She came TO see me one morning when
| was unusually busy, and also In
hurry 10 get away to an important en-
gagement, aud though she very frankly
told me that she was not able TO pay any
fee, and had merely come to inquire the
hour at which | held my clinic at the
medical college, | made her sit down and
tell me her symptoms. Everything In the
girls manner impressed me favorably, l
suppose.
"But IL will take me a long time, doc
tor, TO tell you the whole story" she
said, "and then | am afraid that when
you have heard II all you will want TO put
me In a lunatic asylum"
"Go on,n answered, as ! began TO
open pile OF letters that had been put on
the table In front Of me. "When | want
you 10 stop will tell you, and as TO
lunatic," looking sharply as | spoke, "it
Is not the place for you even II you are
insane.n
81 thought all the insane were put into
asylums,n she replied.
"Now, Miss willard" / rejoined, with
show OF Impotence, "don't attempt
discussion OF that matter. Lunatic asy-
lums are good places for some lunatcs.
II you don't 90 right on with the account
OF your symptoms shall change my mind
about you"
Thus admonished she began;
"This day n week ago, as ] was en-
gagged In the workroom Of Nine. Clitcau's,
| suddenly felt something give way with
in my head and at the same instant the
sentence, Seek and yc shall find came
up In my mind with such force that |
spoke the words aloud. | was sat the time
alone In the room and consequently es
capped observation, but | felt intensely
excited. MY heart was beating like
sledgc hammer, my breath came short
and quick, my face was as hot as fire, and
yet, when | looked ut myself In the glass
opposite TO where | stood, | saw that |
was us pale as sheet. | managed,
though with difficulty, TO reach the sofa
at the far end OF the room and to lie
down unon II, just as felt that 1t would
have been impossible for me to have taken
another step.
GLOW long | remained there j do not
know of my own knowledge, though prob
ably half an hour or so. When | recov-
cred consciousness was lying in my own
bed In the room that mother aud 1 occupy
in u Hat up town. | looked around me,
and for little while could not make out
where | was, nor did know the woman,
my mother, who was sitting by the side OF
the bed rubbing my hands and speaking
TO me kindly.
Gan Mt once the words, Seek and ye
shall llnd,' came to my recollection with
force that startled me- ! saw them writ
ten in letters of fire on the wall and the
ceiling; heard them whispered into my
ears; the figures In the carpet spelt them;
the clock on the mantelpiece appeared to
be ticking the command, Seek and We
shall find The wind was blowing hard,
and IL whistled through the crevces be
tween the window sashes, and II sounded
TO my ears like the voice of some person
in great suffering wailing forth the words,
Seek and We shall find"
"Hallucinations are Illusions NUT
tered as | went on opening my letters and
glanclng over their contents.
eyes, know that" she answered;
"but they were none the less unpleas-
anti
"You ought to have taken a sedative-
fifty or a hundred grains of the bromide
of sodium, and gone TO sleep. The next
morning you would have been as well as
ever.n
eyes, | suppose so,but we were TO have
called q physician, so mother put mustard
plasters around my ankles, and IN a short
time fell asleep, with the words, Seek
and We shall find ringing In my ears,
and repeating them over and over TO my
self"
She stopped and turned around and
looked at her In silence for perhaps
minute, a long time for such an action,
1 recognized her disorder as that of those
curious affections OF the brain in which
there Is morbid tendency TO con-
Gentratc the mind upon ono mar
row idea and 60 repeat contnu-
ally TO ones self some phrase that
Is generally without special significance.
In such case sequence OF words, some
times of the most Absurd character, runs
through the mind, wearying the person
with their perSistency and even at times
driving him or her over the line into the
ranks OF the insane Thus far, though
the case was an interesting one, there
was nothing phenomenal about IL, as
had several like II under my charge,
Neither did It seem to me as though her
relief would he matter of much Diff
Guilty. thought II best 10 encourage
her as much as possible and to anticipate
any fears that she might entertain in re-
gard TO the ultimate result. ! therefore
told her not to be afraid, that all would
go well with her, and was preparing to
write her prescription and 20 give her