Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-05
BRIGHT BITS.

''WHY wasn't the spring chicken chosen as
the emblem OF this cOuutryf' asks an eX-
change. 1t never would have done. This
country would look nicely, wouldn't it, with
an emblem older than 1tselfS- C'TGph5c.
REPORT Of base hall game says: Lar
KIns Knocked Fulton, the new pitcher, all over
the field" That was pretty rough on Fulton,
and it is a wonder IL didn't Kill him. If
Larkins had knocked the umpire all over
the field it wouldn't have been surprising
NOrriStO1oa HerGId.
"WHEN you attend church meeting you
are ali supposed to be, for the time being, on
an equality" writes an editor, who is evil
IDENTIFY unmarried Every married man
knows that there can never be such thing
as equality in churcn as long Rs the present
rivalry In woman's dress exists.-Pncb.
AN ambitious Galveston doctor was COM
planning about the iDgratitude of the public
towards his profession. He said bitterly:
"Statesmen, generals, artists and scientists
all get monuments erected to their memory,
but whoever heard Of a doctor having mon
ument~ ''Why, doctor, don't you count
those monuments out in the churehyard2
Don't they mean anythingY'-1eeqs SJtiRgs.
THE California Democrat who came East
last fall. stumped the State of New York for
Cleveland, made 1873 speeches, and had TO
pawn his household goods IN order to get
back, was recently told by the President that
he must pass through the civil service mill,
and not unnaturany retOTted: "There was
nothing said about examinations when you
YOrk.'.-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
CUsTOMER-Have you the song, ''We won't
go home till morning."
Clerk of music store-No, sir; it is out of
print.
Customer-Will you be likely to have a copy
soOn2
Clerk-No; we won't print any more.
There's no demand for the song.
Customer-Why, / thought it was very
popular song.
Clerk-It used to. be. but the saloons close at
II O'Clock nOw.-B0ston Courier.
a sCoToHMAE and his wife were coming
from scarborough TO London by boat. " hen
on the coast q great storm arose, and the
vessel had several narrow escapes from foun-
dering.
40, sandy" moaned his wife. Ppm ma
afear'd o. deein,' but dinna care to dee at
seal ~
"Dinna think o deein' yit," answered
Sandy; ''but when We do ye'd better be
drooned at sea than anywhere else
''Au' why, SandyY' asked his wife.
"WhyW exclaimed Sandy, "because We
wOuldna cost sac much TO bury P'-AmericGn
Register.
LITTLE SUSIE has pet cat which is much
older than its mistress; so much older, in
fact, that IL is in an advanced state of decrepi-
thought she would have the cat chlOrOtorpfed.
II is hoped the child did not understand the
full import Of the word, for the next day she
went 20 her mother with the cat in her arms
Yes, SUSIE" was the reply; az think il win
be better 10 do so; you know she Is very old
and feeble and doesn't enjoy life much.
"Nell, mamma" said the little innocent,
''dOn't you think it would be well to chlorO-
form grandma, tOO2 She is very old and
feeble, and this hot weather she is awful
cross. l don't think sac enjoys life, and |
know l don't when she scolds me."-PhiiG-
delDhid Netos.
A MORNING CALL
When she spied him coming.
I She wore a kerChief round her head
Her papered Curls 20 hide,
| The hounces on her skirts were torn,
Her slippers were united.
| Her jacket wanted buttons, and
Twas not exactly clean
! And through her worn out sleeves quite plain
Her elbows could be seen.
when she received him,
/ Upon her brow her fiuGy hair
| Like tangled sunshine lay.
| Her pretty Mother Hubbard gown
Was rich in ribbons gay,
| Her little shoes were deoked with bows,
| Some meadow flowers chung
| Near her fair throat, aud from her sido
A small scent bottle hung.
And it's sure thing.
That never yet for cOnjurer
| Did quicker change befall
! Than that young man evoked who came
To make morning call.
-Ne,o Orleans Picavvsne.