Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-09-27
LIN R0 I>Cns,
Told In Plain L. ...ss exactly a. Seen.
Written for the GLoBx-REPUBLiC.

AOtu IN Fih1u hl ~a.ko ishhCtIy - Soon
Written for the GLosx-RErUBLic.
HIS own BROKER.
Success in life, said the pleasant rucon-
te,u, Mr. l.. Hunt, depends on making
your connections" Frank Wintergreen was
clerk of the firm of Sweiu ufieicn, Lazarus
q Co, the richest bankers in New York.
One morning recently Frank walked up to
Mr. s.:
will you take me into your firm as full
partner
NO. gasped SweinAeich, divided he
tween rage and wonder.
Not when | am engaged to the only
daughter OF Hamilton Rodentf Frank
named the richest merchant in the city.
I've shall Ike proud OF the honor you do
us, said SweInheich, smiling like a swarm
of bees.
Frank bowed and lost no time in calling
on Mr.. Rodent
"W,ll you favor my addresses to your
daugbtert'
What" yelled the merchant, looking
about him for a blunderbuss. mo, sirr
Not when ! am full partner in the firm
of Swelnfieicb, Lazarus e. Cor
Il could not wish for better son in la W. "
said Mr.. Rodent, stretching out his hand.
What New York girl can resist a banker
Caroline's affections were soon won, and
Frank became husband lion aud mil-
lionaire.
What quick snap aud gentle device Of
love!
REyENGF
How does Fate do business with you now.
adays. ON the squaref asked my friend On
his return from Europe
''Ihe injus Ice of the world" replied.
has reduced me to poverty, and poverty
has changed me into that man to whom
alone words are luxuries, poet"
You have taken terrible revenge upon
the world" said my friend.
sKEPTIC
81 have heard strange stories about YOU. ~
said Miss Milton to me-
Madame" | replied, ~ have heard some
very bad stories about myself, but never
gave them much ere lit.
SIDE EFFECT
Last week David Lord, with whom his
vile had very properly quarreled, WIS
shedding tear over the sickness of a we'll
known actress. His wife surpris d him
and mIstaking his grief for remorse, thre
bor arms around his neck. She i, now the
happlest woman in the city.
TOO LITERAL
"Charley, is it yout'
! blu,hed; the waiter blushed; we had
met IN gaunt resort, ten cent restaurant
in Chatham street. We had both seen
letter days; nothing could be more elm
barrassing. was the first to again break
silence.
''Why did you leave your place in Sixth
avenue, Charleyf'
''The boss fired me out"
without causef' asked.
81 cannot say without any cause. but for
cause wholly inadequate 20 the catss-
trophe," Charley had Leen an actor, when
the stage was still immaculate--I give his
own version of ihe affair-but had been
forced to leave E.i profession ON account of
a slight scandal that had connected his
name with one OF our lea ling actresses.
What was the blss' preteIt for dis
charging you, Cnarley.'
"iou know, he said "as the old play has
it, l always spell like a gentleman rather
than scholar. One day the boss asa ed me
to write out the hill of fare As luck would
have it, instead OF blindly sticking to pre-
cedents, and writing corn beef and cabbage,
the dish of the day, wrote, Corn Beef and
Garbage, Dc,
Whether there was too much truth in my
spelling, or the house had for patrons more
pedants than gentlemen, don't know; but
the boss swore that had ruined him and
bounced me-bang."
WILLIAM WAsHBURS.
NEW YORK Sent z;