South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-05-22

Hu CNcoterJehi r|"srk-f 'hit even
A ison. he frs, msn, knew the v-iu. uf
por,Snsss, soj allowed Eve TO have the
frs! bite o. the apple.
"A clergyman asked soma children /:
why d. We say IN the Lrrd'. prayer.
'"ho art ia Heaven siLce Gid is
sverywbers2' A little drummer hoy
answered, Because its hesdquarters.'
mo, sir said Fogg. Z psvar knew
Brown To nislesd or deceive ANYBODY
In his life. No, sir; fact is. be couldn't.
Nobody would believe any thing he said
A German farmer disputed his tax
bill. He said: i pays the State tax.
the county tax and the school tax; bot
py tam 1 pays no total aad never had
any
A Clergyman asked tie blessing at
The table in house where they were
unaccustomed to thank the Lord for hi,
blessings. A little boy picked up hi.
plate. scanned it closely, then locking
over to the clergyman, said: Mister,
there isn't any reading on my plate
i AN very particular about my repa-
tation, sir Yes, you always have
been particular about triflss.
An Old lady in Wichita says she
never could imagine where all the
Smiths came from until she saw in a
New England town = large sign, Smith
Manufacturing Company
Why 10 q disconnected msu like
watch dog? Because he 10 a growler.
Matilda's lover to her little sister:
Come. Myrtle. give me a kiss, only
one. L. S.-'No, l won't; you askei
Tidy for just one in the parlor before
dinner, and you took two
Mamma. said . little four.y ear old.
or, this 10 the calf of my leg, isn't i,''
Yes. well, them slapping his land
On his thigh, this must he the cow?'
Coal 10 said 10 have bsen discovered
in the heart Of Me1io'.' Hope Mexico
will not have the heartburn.
Billy Clark, tho town erisr or Nan.
tucke', 1, credited with a recent sharp
answer. A young lady wuo had m 90
some remarks about him which he did
not like asked him where he got his
bell. Il got my bell, young lady, whsr.
you got your manners, ~ the brass
foundry
Goodwill. like good name, 10 got
BY many actions, and los. by one.
Betsy, an oil coiorsd cook. was
incoming around the kitchen one la,
when hef mistress asked her if she wac
al. NO, ma'am, not 'zsetly,' said
Betsy; 'but the fact il, don't feel
ambition 'nough 10 get outer my own
way
In the discussion a. 10 the dsleteri.
Gus effect of tobacco upon the human
system. which has just been stsrted
afresh, the case OF q Kentucky woman,
vonched for by the Cincinnati Gazette,
should not be forgotten. She began
smoking eorn.cob pipes while young
girl, and, psrsistins in the practice, died
at the ags Of ITO years.
The fellows Who are waiting fer the
Office to seek the Ean are gsttip.
awfully tired.
hIss-fortunes eons TO some men
when they get married, and they don't
mind it bit.
raul Boynton,ths swimmer. has absn.
donss his aquatic profession and open
cd saloon in New York city. From
water to whisky is a bad ge.--Chiesgo
Journal.
crank is person who does not
always sgreo with you but has an opin-
on OF bis owp.
"The Southern Bivouac." -B. F.
Avery & Sons, publishers Of JIome
and FARM, have purchased OF the
Messrs. Mcdonald the Southern BIZ
vouac, and the June number. much
enlarged, will be the first of the new
series. The magazine will hereafter
DO under the editorial charge of Gen
eral Basil W. Duke and Richard w.
Knott. As formerly, war papers
will be the special feature OF the mag
szine, but each number will have lit