davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04

Two kisses, darling, stand out clear as fire
Through all the gladnesS of Onr welded life
Each perfect as a shrine of holy love-
Each pressed on Thy dear lips, most precious
wife
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04

The first almanac was printed by
George Won Furbach in 1460.
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04

The Volumes of the Ba-dr begin with the first
Number for January of each year. When no
time IS mentioned it will be understood that the
subscriber wishes TO commence with the Number
next after the receipt of order
lhe last Five Annual Volumes of H1rDcr's =
BdSdr IN neat cloth binding VIII be sent by mail
postage paid, OF by express free of expense pro
Vlqed the freight does not exceed one dollar per
Volumel for 500 per volume.
Cloth Cases for each volume suitable for bind
ing will be sent by mail, postpaid, on receipt of
Sl.O0 each. ~ -
Remittance should be made by Post Office
Money Order or Draft, to avoid chance of loss.
NeoSpdpers are not 10 copy this advertisement iCith-
Oet me cypress order Of HARPER Il BROTHERS.
Address HARPER * BROTHERS, New York.
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04
Another singular epitaph is in notes
and queries, as follows:

Here lies Robert TrOllOp,
Who made yon stones roll up,
When death took his soul up,
His body filed this hole up.
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04

A New York firm applied to Abra-
ham Lincoln some years before he be-
came President as to the financial con
dition Of one of his neighbors. Mr.
Lincoln replied as follows: Yours of
the 10th instant received l am well
acquainted with Mr.. - and know his
circumstances. First of all, he has a
wife and baby together they ought to
be worth $50, 600 to any man. Secondly,
he has an office in which there is u
table worth 1.5O and three chairs
worth say 81. Last of all there is in
one corner large rat-hole which will
bear looking into. Respectfully
yours, A. Lincoln"
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04

ALIENS AS LANDOWNERS About
2l,O00,000 acres of land in the United
States are now owned by members of
the nobility Of Europe, chiefly English
men. How many acres are held by
untitled aliens is not known. In the
opinion of the Committee on Public
Lands Of the House of Representatives
this large alien ownership is an evil
which should be prevented by legisla-
ton. The committee is confirmed in
this opinion by the reflection that the
avarice and enterprise of European
capitalists have caused them to invest
many millions in American railroad
and land bonds, covering perhaps lO0.-
100000 acres, the greater part of which,
under foreclosure sale, is likely to be-
come their property before many years,
in addition to their present princely
possessions.
The Public Lands Committee has
given expression to its views on this
subject in a report recommending the
the passage Of a bill providing . that no
alien or foreigner or persons other than
citizens of the United States and such
as have legally declared their intention
to become citizens thereof shall acquire
title to or own any lands anywhere
within the United States of America
and their jurisdiction and any deeds
or other cOnveyanccs, acquired by such
after the approval of this act, shall be
void.
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04

nnHEE Send six cents for postage
and receive free. costly
hH box OF goods which will
Hhh@ 1 help you to more money
right away than anything else in this world All
road to fortune opens before the workers. abso.
Ilqtely sure, Atonce address, TRUE & Co., Augusta,
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04

The second-ah! the agony of love
With which gave that kiss with bated breath
l held thee in my arms all fragile, weak
As given back from out the jaws of death.
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04
Abstract Of Statement. ,s..

l os>nt s,,t 49,, "a" l''.'' .-''.....s 34l.-
Dividends Paid '.-- I-s-lW
rand Members or Withdrawal....... -3',li.4
Nembers Dec 81 js>s 'ys -', 70
Smyrna times., 1885-03-04
MP El,rAB.
AGENTS.

AGENTS.:
ANDREW J. WILSON. General A,,,., f,...-
~ ~ - y ".'o"'5 " 'rart 7. IT, IIJEea Br9a.rw
% !, q i,,ity' to'''y' Del CHg LemUC. " IiaD}ss Le
I r Ly,, y, 1OCNStHd !9ha w. lIoo't.a LAM
i. JCcks0H ,Ir. CamdCg n y ~ :, n'."tI Vord-
j. T. 1HdcrSOn Frc9cr,r1 t,r, '""|' "t"r0'-
Rey1lear HiHiums. VilGJrd L.y,,s E.,,,i.. ,,..,
" u SteJeRS0p. Ftl60 Il + Ii;.,. Ii;.,... -a.t'H.
CJHaTHgtDn FaYlni,nj >,,,s,, ''''''' yof t"Df'
tim.
JereHtda B. Fletcher Presi,n. lff '"g"' -l'
i. r. HGHO1cdy, Berija, Ad '''''''' '' -i''
Van. g. Dick1S3A P,coJo,Ee C3j, H.,
All ous ness communications should be addressst
to
WIN. DENNEY. sec,v.
March 4, 1888. Do,,vf, mrs,
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
AMERICAN FABLES.

Some Romances With Interesting and
Emphatic Morals.
Woodchuck who had, at great labor
and many Back-Aches, managed to ex-
cavate Hole for Himself in Hillside,
was resting and congratulating Himself
when along came Fox, who said:
"Ah-um! just Fits me! I've been
Looking for just such Don for the last
three months"
you don't mean to Steal my Home
awayP" queried the Woodchuck.
might makes Right in this Blizzard
Country, and don't you Forget it! Take
yourself off, or I'll make you sad!''
The Fox took Possession, and the
Woodchuck withdrew, but next morn
ing he passed that way to find the Fox
fast in Trap at the mouth of the Den.
Some boys had Baited for Woodchuck
and caught Fox. AS they Appeared
on the scene Reynard called out:
81 am but poor Fox, while you are
Learned and Intelligent Human Be-
ings. You have no right to Sacrifice
me in this manner!''
"Ah! Yes, but this is Question of
Might instead of Right" was the Re-
ply, as he was Knocked on the Head.
MORAL:
1t Ceases to be Funny when Both
Sides begin to play the Same Game.
THE WISE BEE.
A Bee, which had long been noted for
His Industry and Perseverance, one day
Refused any Further Labor, and,
though Advised and Admonished by
his best Friends, he Buzzed himself out
of the Neighborhood. Many and Dire
were the Predictions made in his case,
and great was the Astonishment as he
Reappeared one autumn morning, look
ing Better than ever before.
''Just as Easy as Rolling OFF Log"
he replied to their Queries of how he
made his Living, II am paid a Fat
Salary by Working-Bees to Travel
Around and Complain of the Hives fur
nished us and the Clover Sowed for our
Benefit
"And what would you have Pr asked
a Dozen Bees at once
II Advocate that our Keepers shall
step down and out, while we play the
Piano and Wear Broadcloth. :"
'sBut in that case who'll make the
Honey ?" softly asked one of the Crowd.
MORAL:
1t will be Awfully Nice if any of us
ever Live to see it.-DetroH Free Press.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.


"A mans education is not complete
until he runs newspaper for while.
Then he learns a good deal that he did
not know before. --Galueston TEA.
NeWs.
in respectable society it is said that
usually one generation in q family
makes the wealth, second spends il,
and the third goes back to the foot TO
begin again.
Bill Nye says: 'sSome Of the things
that we know should be saved for our
own use. The man who sheds all his
knowledge and don't leave enough to
keep house with fools himself
A writer in Harper's BGxar SAYS
ssthe ears should be SO placed as not 10
be higher than the eyebrows or lower
are dressing for party should not for
get this. Philadelphia CAL.
Some people think it would be nice
If everybody in the world would mind
their own business. But it would not
Over one-hah Of the people in tho world
would be out of employment and not
know what to do with themselves. -
Pittsburgh (Pa.) Chronicle Telegraph.
"A forlorn-looking man said: 1--WE
tried everything that / could turn my
hand to, but couldn t make anything a..
swer; and now have decided to 20 M
among the hills, where they say there's
wonderful echo. to see If / can make
that answer. = Chicago Tribune
Mrs. De Blank am SO glad Nh.
De Bright is going to remain in the city
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
+ A LOVE SONG TO A WIFE.

us the beautiful, love-breathing cleaning
hour,
And the breeze is rocking each slumbering
flower,
And meath the clustering hawthorn boughs
Lovers are breathing their tender VOWS.
Shy has are dropping DER radiant eyes,
And the air is full of delightful sighs;
Cheeks glow and dimple, and red lips part
And, y, how fondly heart answers heart
For very gladness young pulses sing
All, love is wildering, witching thing;
An exquisite, tremulous, heayen-born strain,
Ihat nils the soul with delicious pain.
We have been lovers for forty years;
., dear cheeks faded and worn with tears,
What an eloquent story of love we tell!
Your roses are dead, yet love We well.
o, pale brow shrined in soft silvery hairl
crowned with life's sorrow, and lined with
care;
Let me read by the light of the stars above
Those dear, dear records of faithful love.
All, fond, fond eyes, of my own true wifel
Xe have shone SO clear through my
chequered life,
Ye have shed such joy on its thorny way,
That can not think we are dim to-day.
Worn little hands, that have toiled so long,
Patient and loving, and brave and strongl
Ye will never tire We will never rest,
Until you are crossed on my darling's breast.
Q, warm heart throbbing so close to minel
And proves that the hottest love doth last
when summer, and beauty, and youth are
past.
-Fdnnie Forester, In the QatiUer.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.


Inc University OF Madras mas graou'
Chr;s. 60 po'sons' no"o " ~"o''
~,
-lne oesui,s nave recently purcnascu
sao siiia ~ sne ls'anu VI Elp" - MN
was occupieu ~ NaPoleon al'er ms ~,
eioa.loh, IN 1911 ~ ~ W oo oohse's0a
'h'o cohese'
ga nam is,,s a~ o ch,roSas 'a arac,sa Il
Tho iTn;,ad Sts,as d;v;dad !, isnc,,s 90
40 fol,nws. Gar,,,an 100. Enr,;sh a..
Swsd;sh 90. Norwsn;.n 10 "a. Ner~nr; an AZ
Dan;sS ,. Dan;sh Enn;sh !. Siow.
alan A' =
THE City OF Churches, IS Brook
iyn has been styled for many years, ap-
pears not to be correspondlngiy CITY
G,Ss ',., . 49,, - V.o - .ha 10 .ha.. g.
o5o 900 ,,anr,e t,ss,.a ,,,s,sS s,.,re,. =, =,
cbmro Js pPS ns,on ' Tra,,s~r;s,,
$50.
wedding fees constitute an impor-
tant item IN the revenues OF the Populsr
ministers OF New York ana rniiaoel-
phia. their annual receipts sometimes
reaching $o,oOO. The ices vary from
$io to Szoo. Tho average OF one MN
ister last year was $So,
An eccentric ferthshire Scotcnman.
all ms lie a member OF the Free hirk.
mas lett MS entire iortune-apout
Slso,ooo In our money-Ior the Duiluin&
and endowment OF wesleyan chapci
IN village where. so iar as IS known,
there are no wesleyan innapitants'
L.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
NO MUSIC For HIM.
A gentleman Who Believed That He
Would Look at the Sick Horse.

A Gentleman Who Believed That He
Would Look at the Sick Horse.
Old Squire Haggleson, who came to
town the other day to urge the position
asking that young Zeb Sailor might
not be hanged, was induced by friend
to attend a rendition of III Trovatore. ="
The old gentleman put on his specta-
Giles, expecting to see great caper, but
in disappointment, he turned to his
friend and said:
This is sort of singin' show, amt
it ?"
20, yes, it is an opera"
Singing, is it ?''
Yes, a grand opera"
Don't they give no p'ints that fell
lar can ketch on Suthin' that fellar
ken tell the folks when he goes home ?
A man KANT tell nothin' about a song
Hy ken ornly say that he heard it and
that's all. Now some time ago went
to thing that wuz full of pints. Wy
sot down an talked an hour about it,
an at the log-rollin' showed the boys
how the whole thing went, but this
thing don't pear to have no place to
hinge on. Now look at that fellar with
the tin clothes on. He don't say nuthin'
don't do nuthin'; all / ken say about
him is that he wore tin clothes. Then
Oscar Piler will say, tin clothes p
Yes, tin clothes, 1 win reply, then he
will say, 'that's Q deuce of a note. A
fellar KANT jump with tin clothes on
That shuts me up, you see. No, Tn
afeerd that | KANT say nuthin' about
this show Lawd massy! look at that
woman with the fine duds. Ny lands
how she hollers. They call that singin'
don't they ?"
30, yes, that's singing. 1t is grand
opera"
"Yas, but when air we going to have
some musicp It's strange thing that
some folks don't know what singin' is.
Now, thar's my daughter Ann. Eff she
was here it would tickle her to death to
hear that gal squeal. l allus did feel
sorry for a pusson that amt got no year
for music.
Don't talk so loud. This is consid-
cred very fine music by educated
people. F"
81 reckin so. I'm glad they like it.
Say, did you ever see a filly r'ar up an
squealP Wall, that woman puts me in
mind O. one. Now person that pre-
tends to be interested in this thing
would be annoyed by the squealin' of a
FLY, but blamed if l ken see much diff
ference an I've stirred round a good
bit, too. We must all give the filly the
credit o. bein' the most nachul.
Now look at them fellers singin' at each
other. Do you call that musicp'
80, yes, it is the music of anger"
'.They air mad, reckinp"
"Yes."
"Then why don't they say SOP Now,
when man gifts mad, he don't feel
like singin'. Cussin' is more in his
line
That's all well enough, Squire, but
this is an opera"
$50 see, but | kahn t find out the
pin'ts O. the thing. Wall, b'leve I'll
60"
Hold on, Squire, don't be in q
hurry"
20, amt in hurry. l like to
hear singin'. an can put up with most
any sort O. noise, but you must excuse
me. l don't like to see people dodge
music this way. Wall, goodbye. Jim
Anderson's boss is down with the bolts
an l b'leve I'll go round an look at
him while. "-ArkansaD Traveller.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
CHURNlNG WHOLE MILK.

Reasons Which Seem to Recommend tho
Practice, According to an Expert.
We have an inquiry from a New
York reader of the Journal, asking
about the comparative benefit of churn-
ing whole milk and cream. There used
to be a veteran dairyman at Statewide,
N. Y, Peter Mulks, who, for over
twenty years, churned all the milk from
his thirty cows. His butter was made
through the season and sold in lump
in the fall. He usually sold his whole
make at from fifteen to twenty cents per
pound above the market, which must be
considered an evidence of quality. Mr.
Mulks' plan was to set his milk in the
old-fashioned way, in ten quart pans.
and churn when it began to Topper.
His milk was placed in four barrel
dasher churns. These he ran by a
three-horse engine, which made light
work of it.
The writer wrote Mr.. Mulks, in 1872,
to get his theory as well as his practice
in this matter. He answered in a very
intelligent letter, in which he expressed
the opinion that fair butter could be
made by churning the cream alone, but
not strictly fine. We quote some of his
reasons for churning whole milk:
In the first place, whatever impurities
are floating in the atmosphere where
our milk is kept, settle upon the cream,
which, being on the surface. and from
its sensitiveness, absorbs all Odors in the
room. Then to skim the milk and
churn the cream, we have all the inn
purities in the butter; whereas by
churning the whole milk these impuri-
ties are diffused by the process of
churning through the whole body of the
milk, and there can be but little left in
the butter.
And second, by churning cream alone
we have large proportion of butter to
buttermilk, and when the butter is col
lecting or gathering, we are dashing
through large amount of butter, and
are liable to make it salvy, and thus
destroy its fine texture and fine grain, SO
essential to fine butter in flavor, both
present and future, while when the
whole milk is churned, we have but
little butter in proportion to the milk,
and there can be no such friction on the
butter.
To sum it all up, we always make as
much butter in churning milk as we
should in churning cream-we think
something more and much finer.
The temperature of milk for churn-
ing should be sixty-five to sixty-eight
degrees, depending upon the season or
temperature of the atmosphere.
We found, by practical test. that Mr..
Mulks had fixed the temperature right
-. r. IL "a
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25

A clerk in large German counting
house was spending his honeymoon in
Italy, and while there firm paid him
40.0O0f., owed to his employers. Hav-
ing the 4O,O00f., the clerk thought he
would go to Monte Carlo. He knew it
was the worst possible place for him,
because he would be tempted to gam
BILE, but nevertheless being the foolish
and weak-minded clerk he was, he set
off for the spot. Lest he should be inn
PEELED to go to the rooms and speculate
with his employers money, he handed
the sum over to his wife to keep.
Devoted to each other as bride and
bridegroom were they rambled about
this vssy small place independently Of
each other. The wife, with 4O,OOOf. in
her pocket, went to the tables, lost all,
and jumped into the sea.-N, Y. Post.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
OUTBREAK IN AscHooL-Houss



to Go to Texas.
A day or two ago Miss Hoyt,
teacher in the Second intermediate
School, had occasion to leave the room.
and shortly afterward Miss HARDWOOD, .
teacher in an adjoining room, heard an
uproar coming from it. She went in
to investigate, and was Mortified to find
several of the big boys chasing each
other about the room with revolvers.
AS she entered the bloodthirsty lads
pointed the weapons at her. The Prin-
cipal, Mr.. Fillmore, was called, the
boys were disarmed and the father OF
the ringleader summoned. He searched
his son and found two long bowie
knives upon him, while in his desk were
two more revolvers. The boys. whose
parents are all well-to-do, finally con.
fessed that they had been planning to
run away in May and 60 to Texas u
fight the Indians on the plains and be-
come cowboys. One of the lads was to
furnish the money for the trip. and had
already arranged to sell his bicycle ana
one of his fathers COWS. Three Of his
companions were to accompany him.
The boys had been reading dino
novels and stories Of life among the
co&- boys. but are not allowed 10 oven
read their school books now. - thay
f>axrfss 4n>or>k ~ nosras. S<}1lS><N = - 10
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
Artificial Leeches.

There is an ingenious instrument
known as the artificial leech, occasion
ally used, but now scarcely ever met
nth. 1t consists of small sharp steel
cylinder worked by spring, with which
a circular incision is make, and with an
interior glass cylinder capable of being
exhausted by a piston worked by a
screw. 1t was invented partly to meet
those not uncommon cases when the
patient, usually a man, declared he
would die and went off into faint if
touched by the live leech; partly because
the amount of blood abstracted could be
thus precisely measured, and partly be-
cause the leech bites have sometimes
become inflamed through the leeches
employed being unhealthy. 1t is not
good instrument and is, as we say, not
used now. There is specimen to be
seen in the Museum of the College of
Surgeons among the Surgical Instru-
ment Series" When it was presented.
about 1876, none of the Council could
guess what it was or what it was meant
for until an old country doctor was
found to explain.--M Y. Herald.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
An Up-HiIl Journey.

A tavern keeper on the San Bruno
road was aroused late the other night
by the COIL of an antiquated granger,
who sat over the front wheels Of a lum-
Der wagon, and who was very much
preplexed about something.
Il say, Mister" said the old man,
scratching his head; this is the road to
Frisco, amt itp'
''Cer't-but, old man, what have you
done with your hind wheelsp'
Jerusalem Scott'' said the old
farmer, getting out his specs; IF 1
haven't lost them hind wheels. That
explains the whole thing. Mister.
Seemed like | had been going up such
an ALFRED long hill was beginning to
think I'd lost my way. - San francisco
Post
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25
An Easy Sentence.

you are charged with bigamy," re-
marked the Judge, impressively, while
the prisoner glanced over his shoulder
at three stern-visaged women.
"Now. continued the Court, II intend
to give you the severest penalty the law
allows"
Here the prisoner covered his face
with his hands and wept.
II shall sentence you to State Prison
for twenty yesrs. What are you grin
ming atp''
Il thought" srniled the prisoner
through his tears, ''you was a-going to
turn me loose. IN. Y. Graphic.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25

-Fogg 9 Bloomington is having .
hard time Of it. He lost his leg. you
know, a year or two ago, and now be
has bad 10 have his foot amputated.
Fenderso I" So? Hope 'twasn't the
foot on the other leg; that would b
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-04-25

There are said to be 5S4 seams.
tressos IN New York City. each Of whom
earns only one dollar : week.
The Sunday tatler and Jersey City express. (Jersey City, N.J.) 1883-1886, 1885-01-18

cr's 1850 # g sideiold 3
62x300 n wlside b
al 4 b 9
q acres saltl mead
2acres woodland
q acres 1926 feet o
Sl6acres salrl mead
75Racres 250lfeet q
Gl0 81 IL 10 12l
4S6lO 6Sx2ie nlw side
all LIZ q
8 acres bet tOceRn
4 acres salt mea d
% acres wool GLAND
21Sacr's salt mead
Sacreg on nIw 81 le
lc's less 8 lotslof GU
8 acres saltl mead
~ acres . eletde 3
o Hcfes mead bet
3acr's being M Ga
The Sunday tatler and Jersey City express. (Jersey City, N.J.) 1883-1886, 1885-01-18

MUTT ay dpi
do. EstA J Parson
Martin John..s.......|
Mallory j F.... .....
Maloney atk........|
Mount 8 C...........-l
McHugh Patk..-.....|
McAliister Margt....
McCann John. .-.....|
Moozes Antn, n.y.
Miomer III nry.......
Memo egal VIM. j
III K.nna Bernard.
McHugh James......|
Moon Michael .....l
Mount S G. .......l
Miller Conrad. ..-...-|
Co......--.s.s...
- .I- -
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1885-06-16
NUMBER "a.

killci. Before ho tiei the Label On IA, port
manieau he discharged what his Keen son-e
u honor told him was a duty. He called On
the Talberis and informed them bow he had
farcl with lssatrioe
They we,s very busy bo,tling od quarter
cask q sbeuy. They found that buying the.r
winc In WOOD saved them Heaven Knows bow
much Now, hottilng vine l. nice, digni-
ns,i, yet, withal, cheerful opcrsiion, In tho
performance of which n duke nrs-i NJ, 10
ashaInsi 10 b. scn. II hal the wine 10 bot
tle would work AZ II ten hours a day 40
whsn tho brothers heard that Mr.. Morils
wished particularly b. ~, them, he was asked
10 step down into The cellar
Into the cellar h. went Not q tad place
un such q mltry day. lie found li0racs
.oaia,l on low stool, with bis lonx straight
la,,s spread On either slie Il tho caAk, In
,omcthing q tho attitude ~ a reversed
Baochus lIs was filing tho bJttlss with the
zohlen fiuii. whilst Hcrhsrt stood near him.
AMI after dipping the corks Into little basin
full a vine, manipulated th-sn with a cork
slucc1r and eventually drOve them into
their resting plce by all q q smali spa.ie-
shapci mallet A each bottle was hllsi,
oorkci, AMI pa. aside, Herbert male a chalk
mark On n hoar,i, AMI every fourth mark h.
rru~.ri with ano'hcr, ~ that The tally couh
h. osxly oo1niei The whole performance
was beautifully me,hoiical Ani busins.s- like,
rcfecting grcat credit on the actor.
With their native politcne>-, tho moment
Mr.. Morlle oams IN sight they csa-ri their
cccuTation. Horane turn.d tho tap and ro-s
from tho half nllei bottie; Herlcrt lft tho
eork half driven In. They gr~ets.i their via
tor and apologired for bringing him down b.
The lower re,ions Although they wore Args
ooar-s white aprons. fashioned s1msvhat like
girls pinAfore, thsy looked two well-bred
grntlemen.
Il say All the ouraie nervously, you
know I'm N the day after tomorrow