Morning journal and courier., 1885-01-16
TO RE CONTINUED.

St. John offered to sell out St. John did ! not offer to sell out You're liar. You're another. To be continued. Boston Post. Don't call man donkey, my son, be- cause he won't hear to reason; but politely remind him that the man with the biggest ears is the least inclined to use them.-Bos- | ton Transcript.
 A clergyman in Pittsburg recently preach ed 8 sermon on "saloons' to young men, and local paper notes the fact that the young men and the saloons have been full ever since.-Boston Post.
 Recent dispatches from the seat of war in 1 the Soudan have aroused a suspicion in the minds of some cynical observers that Gen eral Wolseley is being paid by the day Somerville Journal
 It is noticeable that when persons make their first attempt at skating in the rink they express satisfaction with the skates fur nshed, but soon get E'down on'' the floor Norristown Herald.
 An eastern physician says that fat people can reduce their weight by sleeping with their heads to the west. Care should be taken, however, to select hard bed in a cheap boarding house.-Philadelph Call.ss Actually overheard at dinner table in Ireland: ''The cause of throuble in our un- happy land is that the whole counthry is full of absentees-d'ye underestimate We shall have no relase till we're rid av the whole bunch av them; and as I understand yere
 an American and friend av the ould coun-
 thry want to tell you, SOFT, that wan half the lies they tell about us are not thrue ''- Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 It was growing very late, but the young
 man showed no signs or disposition to take
 his leave. After relieving herself of several
 yawn., the lady said: ''You have been read
 ing about the Greedy expedition, haven't
 yous' q have, whys' EtAnd you have
 thought so much about it that you fancy yon
 are now in the Arctic regions yourself?"
 ''What makes you think so?'' Because you
 seem to be under the impression that you are
 in a region where the nights are six months
 long" He took his hat.-Exehange.
 Old Alph went into grocery store. and,
 approaching the proprietor, who stood be-
 hind a desk, asked "Busy, boss?" ''Yes,
 what do you want!" ''Wall, I waz in heah
 yistidy ter buy CT side O meat Tole lem ter
 sen it 'roun' ter de house, but-' ''I be
 lieve you are an old liar. If you had bought
 the meat, it would have been sent" ''Ain't
 gwine ter correck de mistake den?" 'FNo, get
 out of here" ''All right, boss, suits me
 we'll ernuff Ordered CT side O meat an
 paid fur it. but yer folks made CT mistake
 an trapped me off CT barrel O flour an CT
 lot O hams. Didn' know I was tradin' wid
 sch Christian gennerman. Good day,
 sah. .s-Arkansaw Traveller.
 Here are some examination absurdities-
 bona fde answers to questions set in recent
 examinations, which appear in the Journal of
 Education: CD First they made the Apos-
 tles' Creed, but no one would believe it, so they made the Nicene Creed, and some didn't believe it, then they made the Athanasian Creed, and that no one could help believing;" @ "William Pitt began life by playing the
 cornet in the Blues;" (3) Dryden was a man in high position, Pope lower, Johnson was still lower. Johnson was frequenter of the
 Cock Tavern on the Strand;" CD '.Zacharias and Elizabeth had son named John. When
 he grew older he had his head cut off to please young lady. ."-Pall Mall Gazette