Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-28
BRIGHT BITS.

A MANIAC heeled with six-shooter has
about the same horse power as two companies
OF militia called out by the Governor.-De-
trOtt Free Press.
BARTHoLDPs statue of Liberty Enlighten-
ing the World has one advantage over the
liberty bell. It Is so big that no city council
can travel with it for drinks.-Veio Orleans
PicdyI1e.
He spoke from experience-Teacher: $50
you can't do SIMPLE sum in arithmetic.
NOW, let me explain it 10 You. Suppose eight
OF you have together IS apples, % peaches and
10 melons, what will each one of YOU get?"
'Choierer morgus, replied Johnny FiZzletop,
VINO IS addicted TO that malady.-TegdS SIT
ln0S.
"WHAT do you think of my daughters play
ingl' asked Mrs. Motherwort. Il think,
madam, that she is very skillful.n Mrs. Mo-
therwOrt-"Oh, you iattererw Prof Sharpe
Not at all, madam; she is very skillful.
She has great power WIth> the piano Not
half the time can tell what she is playing.
On, madam, she has marvellous power, / as
sure yOu."-Bost0n TrdRscrtpt.
''MARION, you have been reared in such
luxury that l am afraid your marriage with
young jackson viii prove a grave mistake.
He VIII not be able to support you" Now,
Lizzie, there is just where YOU are mistaken
If he can support man effectually, he ought
TO be able to support women" "Why,
whom does he support? HIS father?" mo.
He's catcher in base ball nIue. Hesupports
his pitcher. -PhttddslDAiG O0U.
How quickly the pet phrases Of politicians
get into circulation; even more rapidly than
the S5-cent silver dollar. The TuffDoy family
were sitting at tea, when Jimmy rushed in
with: Hello, this is a healthy supper. amt
it?" at is good enough fOpyOu, my son." re-
piled his mother, kindly. "What is the mat
ter with itY" STRUCTURAL weakness ma.
There amt any cream for the strawberries"
lie got neither cream nor strawberries
Hartford Post.
How Sur TFADC Ut,F stYes I'm q 1,,,a;,oss
man, one of the leading merchants in our
town" said Dragging passenger to a train
acquaintance. I've been in the council and
could have been elected Mayor last sDring, but
l wouldn't take it. Married. Oh, yes; my
wife is one OF the leading ladies of Smith
VILE" That's the TRUTH spoke up a man
from Smithville, just loud enough so that the
Dragging passenger couldn't hear him; "that's
the truth-she leads HIM around by the nose"
-Chicd00 Herald.
He COULDN'T SEE.-A gentleman who had
onceibeen member of the Texas legislature
was arrested in Houston for theft. Said the
fed to eat dinner at the mans restaurant
without paying for it, but you went OF with
the caster and spoons besides" THAT'S so,
your Honor, but took the caster and spoons
from honest motives" "HOnest mOtives?"
'fes, wanted to pawn them, so / could
raise money to pay him for the dinner. See?"
The Justice somehow failed to see it.-Tecas
Stftin0s.
a LADY visiting a Waco family said to one
of the little boys: johnny, l have brought
you some candy, but am afraid you will eat
too much OF it and make yourself sick. I'll
give 1t to your mother and she will give you
some every day" "No. she won't give me
any except on Sunday, and then III have to
be good boy ell the week before to get it.
don't care for the candy, but beng good coy
is what makes me sick. I'd rather 20 without
the candy than DC good boy just now, when
peaches and watermelOns are ripe TEXAS
! Strings.
"WHAT is that singularlY pleasing air
which the band is discOursing2" inquired Sec
rotary Bayard as he and his friend sat in tho
park and heard the musicians at full blast in
the kiosk near by.
That" replied Secretary Manning, sis the
old and popular afr of 'Grandfather's Clock"
"indeed" exclaimed Secretary Bayard.
NOW that Is very strange. know my grand
father bad vote that bothered him great
deal once upon q time, but / never heard of
his having clock Of any kind whatever. -
Chfc0go Aelcs.
DIR. TALMAGE RECOGNIZED.--
When Or. Talmage stood beside
Niagr wonderful downp0ur,
A stranger suddenly cspied
The well-knOwn form, aud loudly cried,
81 think I've seen Your ace before!"
The Doctor gave Il courteous bow,
The strangers head boboed like a duck
And, gazing NJ the broad-gauee brow,
lie sAsd, Il recOllect IL now
lyc often seen your face in Ruckg'
--Neto York Journal.