davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
a LEeisLAroh.s JOKE.
How One Congressman Turned the Laugh
on HIS Associate.

How One Congressman Turned the Laugh
on His Associate.
DIR. Burney, of Dakota, was certainly
the greatest wag in the House of Rep
resentatives in his time. He was a
conservative Republican and supported
the President and his policy. A close
neighbor of his on the floor was Mr..
Williams, of Pittsburgh, gentleman of
extremely radical views. Mr.. Williams
was in the habit of talking to Burney
of conservatives as dead-and-alive sort
of men. and of the radicals as 1.-THE real
wide-awake, swapping turtle party"
The Doctor one day bethought him of
joke. but only limited just then to Mr..
Williams that he'd better look out or
that swapping turtle party would play
the deuce with him. Next morning,
while passing through the market, he
saw a lot of turtles exposed for sale,
among them pugnacious snapper
that seemed to be aifording a great
deal of amusement to crowd of by
ISLANDERS. His size was about that of
the crown of a mans hat, but his grit
was immense, and he jumped at every
thing that came in his way. whether a
crowbar or a cornstalk. Burney imme
diately became his purchaser, and seiz-
ing him by the tail, put him in basket
and carried him to the Capitol. 1t was
not vet eleven O'Clock, and the hall was
nearly empty, so he was enabled to
carry out his project unobserved. He
went directly to Williams desk. found
it unlocked, by good fortune, quietly
lifted the lid and transferred the snap
per from the basket, to rumble and
tumble among the foolscap and public
documents, then closed the desk and
left it as if nothing had occurred of the
extraordinary character just related.
After the House had been called to or
| der, Burney, who, with a few of the
initiated, had kept close eye on Will
liams to see if he would open his desk.
and had been disappointed, approached
the old pan, and, with an air of
feigned Impotence, said: civilians,
reach your hand into your desk and
get me sheet of paper-Fm out"
Williams raised the lid of his desk just
enough to let his hand in, and was
reaching for the requested sheet, when
he experienced a remarkable sensation,
uttered a yell which astonished half the
House, and jumped back half dozen
feet. The snapper" had grabbed for
him, caught him by the coat cuffs and
narrowly missed his hand. 1t is not
necessary to say that there was big
laugh at Williams expense, at the ter
mination of which Burney said to him.
Il told you to look out for this darned
snapping-turtle party, as you call it.
1t is a dangerous crowd. Den Perley
POOre
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
A ForcibIe Election.

"You say that you was forcibls
ejected?"
mo, sir; l don't say nothing of the
kind"
Didn't l understand you to say tina,
he removed you with viOlence?
II don't know what you understood.
but didn't say that"
Il inferred from what you told me
that he used force to compel your exit. !"
Il don't see how you got that into
your head, for didn't say nothing OF
the kind"
..You d;dn't 60 out of your own &C
cOrd?"
mot by tarr.i sight"
Then how did Won get out?"
''Why, gosh it all. he kicked meout- :"
''Well, 1 want to know if he didn't
use violence"
mo. I'll be shrunk II he did. lie
used his foot. ~ GHicdQo Ledger.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
A Vessel Goes Down.

MoNTREA AL June 1.-THE Canada Snip
ping Company to-day received dispatch
from Captain J. G. Jackson of the steamer
Lake Manitoba, saying that the vessel had
stranded in southwest bay on Little Mi
qullin or Langley island, at $50 p. m. Sun
day afternoon, during a fog. The vessel is
likely to become total wreck. The pas
ssrgers twenty in Number and the crew
were saved, but lost all their effects. The
steamer was else tons register, was 355
feet in length and of 1000 horse power.
She was one of the best vessels of the Can
ada Shipping Company and was insured fol-
about two thirds Of her value
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
NATIONAL RELICS,
4 Flag Awaiting Observation-Disclosures
laH SonYanlr.

4 Flag Awaiting Observation-Disclosures
nag Souvenir.
WASHINGTON, June 1.-THE Critic sSys:
There Il United States flag at the War
Department. the history Of which the
authorities know nothing except that 1t was
found in the Confederate War Department
and il marked with the name Of the Fifty
third Illinois Volunteer Infantry" The
dag shows evident signs Of hard fighting In
Its neighborhood, for 1t h pierced in many
places with bullet holes, and through the
starry field and in places in the silk stripes
are gaping holes where pieces of shell have
torn their way. There is no flag staff at
tached, and the folds are deeply stained
with broad stripes of blood, limiting that
some gallant color sergeant had torn it from
the staff and folded it away in his own
breast to save 1t from capture and had
poured out his own life's blood on the flag
he had sworn to defend. Perhaps this
paragraph may meet the eye of some one
who can tell where aud how it was cap
tured. for the War Department do not know
where it was captured.
WASHINGTON, June 17.-There has Just
Washington. for permanent preservation
and exhibition what is known as the Ayre-
shire life car the invention and property Of
he venerable Joseph Francis, known the
world over as the inventor of the Francis
life boat and other life saving appliances.
This car Is the one that was used at the
wreck Of the British ship AYRSHIRE, on the
coast of New Jersey, on the night of Janu-
airy IL, 1850, in a severe snow storm, saving
the lives of POI persons. 1t is interesting
for its associations, and curiosity in its
construction. 1t has been often publicly
exhibited in Europe and America, and has
travelled over 10000 miles. 1t was trans
ferred to Professor Baird, for the museum,
Dy representative of Mr.. Francis, together
with some miniature models OF various
kinds, and also the diploma presented to
Mt. Francis by the Shipwreck Society Of
All Nations.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

YOUNGSTOWN, O., June 19.-Present in
dicatioas are that the stacks of all the roll
ing mills In Aahoning except one will re-
main smokeiess perhaps all summer. Nc.
Curdy d Co. Addresses Bros. & Co. the
Youngstown Mill Company, Trumbuil Iron
Company and Brown, Bonneli & Co. each
stated that at present they would not sign
the scale, and say they will remain idle for
awhilA The manufacturers here who are
members Of the Western Inon Association
have decided to withdraw fnom it, as they
charge the Pittsburgh men With treaehery
and cewardice. The iron manufacturers
here have secured an option 30 leass tha
Vulcan Steel Wsrks at St Leuis.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
Crime In Kentucky.

louisville, KY, June IA gentleman
inst returned from Knott County, KY, re-
ports that the Hall and Jones factions are
under arms, and an engagement between
them is imminent at any moment The
Hall party numbers thirty-one and the
Jones gang eighteen, and all are armed with
Winchester rides, and defy arrest from any
md every source. Monday of last week On
Boever Creek, Perry Sherwood and Bill
Hswk Sizemore, tie latter one of the most
noted and blood thirsty desperadoes in the
mountains, were waylsid, shot asd killed by
ambushed enemies. They both belonged +
IL Hall faction.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
, A MINE HORROR.
An Explosion in an English Mine Imprisons
MANY Persons.

An Explosion in a English Mine Imprison.
Many Persons.
MANCHESTER, June 1s.-A terrible e1-
plosion Of fire damp occurred this morning
At Clifton Hall colliery, near this city.
There were three hundred and fifty men in
the mine at the time, one hundred and
fifty of whom have been rescued Two
isuRdned and thirty are entombed- 1t is
feared they are either suffocated or burned
to death. Great excitement prevails. The
scenes in the vicinity of the mine are
heartrending. The wives, mothers and
relatives are congregated near the en-
frances, crying, shrieking, and imploring
Ged to save the loved ones imprisoned be-
lev.
ONE HUNDRED KILLED.
LONDON, June ia dispatch from Man
chester says enc hundred additional men
have been rescued from the mine, and one
hundred have been killed.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
Price of Wool.

81. Louis, June IA public sale of wool
took place yesterday afternoon 1t Pepers
eompness. The following were the sales
Twent, seven sacks Texas, medium and
fine, at L511c, half price for dead wool, to
L & II summerfeld; eight sacks of Low
medium Texas at 151<c, and four sacks Of
carpets at liz, to the same buyers: thirty
sne sacks of fine medium Texas, very
earthly, at 1876, to S. Blenenstok & Co. !;
Eve sacks Of fine at Is Nc; one sack of dead
It 1oc, and one sacl, of Angora, good. at
2se. to the same firm. Thaee woods were
III ef low grade
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

Of life which is usually unapprsciated un-
til it 10 lost, perhaps never to return, is
health. What priceless boon it is, and
how we ought 10 cherish it, that life may
not be q worthless blank to us. Many OF
the diseases that flesh is heir to, and which
make lie burdensome, such as consumP-
scrofulous and blood diseases, find q com,
plete cure in DIR. r. v. Pierce's 'sGoIdem
Medical Discovery" when all other reue-
dies have failed. DIR. Pierce's pamphfeton
consumption mailed for two stamps. Ad-
dress Worlds Dispensary Medical Asso-
citation, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

Christianity is protected as the State
religion in Madagascar. The best au-
thorHies place the number OF Protest
ants there at $50. 900 aud Roman Gatho-
lies 80. 600. Education is compulsory.
One district alone makes a return of
10000 pupils in the schools.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
Young Men. Read This.

The VoLTAIC BELT Co., of Marshall, Mich,
offer to send their celebrated ELEcrRo-v6I-
TAIC BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES
on trial for 80 days, to men (young or ODD
afflicted with nervous debility, loss of vitsd-
ity and all kindred troubles. Also for rheu-
matism, neuralgia, paraly sis and many 9TH
er diseases. Complete restoration TO health,
vigor, and manhood guaranteed. Norisk in
CURED. as so days trial is allowed. Write
them at once for illustrated pamphlet, free.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26
Can Men Arr. Liars"

said David of old. He was probably
prompted to make the above remark after
trying some unreliable catarrh remedy.
Had he been permitted to live until the
present day, and tried DIR. Sage's Remedy,
he might have had a better opinion OF
mankind. We claim that no case of.
catarrh can withstand the magic effects of
this wonderful medicine. One trial of it
will convince you of its efficacy. By drug
gists; fifty cents.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

A PHILOSOPHER has observed that very
often 1t is green youths who paint the
town red.-BafdIo Express.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

'THERE are some things man can not
do" rema ks philosopher. This is true,
especially true. If his wife happens to say
so-BOstOn Post.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

MRS. PARrINGroN, dear old lady, says
there are very few people nowadays wfio
suffer from suggestion ef the brain.n--
". j. Independent
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

Delicate diseases of either sex,
however induced, speedily and perma-
nently cured. Consultation free. Book
three Is ct.) stamps. Worlds Dispensary
Medical Association, Buffalo, n. Y.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

PIXIES ToOTHACHE DROPS cure In minutn,25c.
GleRn's Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. ne.
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Ccrns Bun kons.-
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

A YOUNG lady who keeps an autograph
album expressly for male signatures resers
to it as her "him-book
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

IT has been discovered that the knots
which a vessel makes at sea depends upon
the tied.-Iroy Times
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

"MAGGIE,,I don't like to see this dust or
the furniture" "All right, mum. I'il shut
the blinds right away."-NorristO,on Her
aid.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

81 MUST shake off this bad habit" said Q
tramp as he gazed at his battered coat
" Y Herald
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

IT takes a good many strikes to make q
baseball match go or well.-Oa City Der
rick,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

Your social standing will not be injured
by pair of tight boots, if your hat fits you
in the morning.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-06-26

II afiicted with Sore Eyes, use DR.. neaaa
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell It 20.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-02-13
ihDS THAT GO ON HATS.

I~Apianation of Some of tho Mysterious
Creations That Are Seen.
great heap of widespread antlers
le window, with a simple black-and-
t sign above them which reads
Aioefmist' is the only street display
uown-lown place of business where
Fireds of thousands of birds have
Mayed and their skins dressed for
DfnaHcnting Of hats and bonnets,
handreds of hides of all sorts of
r'ls' from q mouse to a cinnamon
or an African tiger, have been
1teo Tor the S of dealers in furs
'ae decoration of parlors and
IT, The chief part of the business
IL preparation of birds for milli-
pretty black-eyed girl behind
(ouhteS in the front room said that
BUSINESS was not very brisk in the
but with the coming Of the birds
rinS 1t would become very lively.
nat kind of birds do YOU use
ne common sorts =. red-winged
lpiros, reed birds, snipes, turtle
), orioles, yellow birds, thruskss.
small bird caa be used"
[ow Go you get them?"
{ BUY them If men who mako q
US OF supplying us. Most of the
we handle are from New Jersey,
good many come from Long
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-02-13
. Island and we receive some from the
| West and South A 4o.u.-- III

Island and we receive som. from thu
West and South. A few,are ;mnortad -
what do you pay for themPh
:. .Ihat depends on the fashions en-.
tlfely. W years ago the demand OF
me miliiners was for red wings and vel
low birds. We paid from twenty-five
to thirty-five cents apiece, and at one
time we had to pay as high as forty
seven cents apiece for q lot. Last wear
we got all we wanted at from seven to
elght cents each. When the hunters
have to supply a brisk demand they
can get more, of course, because the
supply of birds of each variety does
not vary greatly from year to wear"
"Do the hunters shoot the birdsp"
II guess not. l do not find any shot
in laying those bought from regular
customers"
How do they catch them thcn?"
II guess you could not get them to
tell you. There is one man who brings
us from fifteen hundred to two thousand
a week during the warm months. He
says he has a partner and no other
help. He lives in Red Bank. One
would think the woods would be depop-
ulated, or else that he would get rich
enough to retire, but he has been work.
ing away for years now"
"Where do all these fancy birds that
look like pictures of tropical rarities
come from?"
"All from Jersey. BY inserting .
snipe's bill in the place of the bill Of a
crow blackbird, and then combining
parts of the sskins of other common
birds, we produce a monstrosity, but if
the colors are well matched the result
is attractive to the common eye, how
ever grotesque it may appear to one
who knows all about the appearance of
birds. 1t is not uncommon to see in
the Grand street windows hats that
have half a dozen bird heads projecting
from n mass of feathers that might be
the breast of q swan or the pickings
from a secondhand pillow. The wings
that adorn some hats are about as much
like wings as a stove-pipe is like a lead
pencil. But these queer tastes are the
making of our business. The portions
of the birds skin which are cut away
when mounting a bird naturally for a
hat, can all be used up in wings by
gluing them on q model. l read the
other day about an Ohio young woman
whose nerves were wholly shattered in
a millinery store because, as the article
said, of her sympathy with the poor
little birds she had to handle. l guess
there vas some error about that. [
think the shock must have come from
a contemplation OF some of our COM
bination birds. She has my sympathy"
Y SIM
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-02-13
FROZEN APPLES.
The Fruit Not Necessarily Ruined Be-
cause Frosted.

AH0 TTulC NOC NeC3SSHf1ly tlu1neO he.
cause Frosted.
1t is the general opinion that an ap-
pie once frozen is of but little value, in
fact, that it will be soft and lifeless; but
it is not so, if it does not thaw too rap
idly, and it is not disturbed until the
frost is entirely out. When it is dis
covered that a barrel Of apples has
frozen, the usual practice is to remove
them to a warm place, and sometimes
they are taken out of the barrel and
plunged into cold water. This is all
wrong. When an apple is frozen it
should be left undisturbed until it is
very certain that the frost is all out OF
it. If the apples are in an open barrel
or box. they should be covered over so
as to keep them cool and in the dark;
but in$loing so, are should be taken
not to touch the fruit, for whenever a
frozen apple is touched it will make a
soft place. In fact, the simply rolling
of a barrel OF apples over will ruin it.
In freezing, apples shrink SO much that
a barrel will not be full by nearly a
peck; in consequence of this, in rolling
q barrel over it bruises every apple,
and every bruise will show when the
apple thaws, and will soon begin to
decay.
When apples are frozen in tight bar
rels, if they are not started until en-
tirely thawed out, it will not iniure
them in the least, unless they chance to
be in the open air, or where they will
suddenly thaw out. When under cover
in a tight room, OF a cellar, it frequent
ly requires several weeks for them to
thaw out. The second time an apple
freezes there is more danger Of injury,
but under favorable conditions an APP
pie may be frozen and thaWed three
times without injury.
We have had apples frozen the first
of December and kept frozen until the
middle OF March. which We're sold in
May, that had kept so well that they
did not require to be picked over. Ii
an apple can be frozen in November
and kept frozen all winter, it will come
out in the spring in the same state as it
was in the autumn; it will not ripen
while in the frozen state. Baldwins
frozen the first of December, and kept
frozen until the middle of March, will
be too hard to eat the first of April, and
in May will be about as ripe as they
will be in January when not frozen.
The danger Of freezing applesto keep
them is in having the frost leave them.
too sudden. Ii one could have full
control of the temperature, SO as to
freeze them in the autumn, and have
them kept frozen until spring. there
would be no loss by decay, and a Rhode
Island Greening could be kept in good
condition two months after thawing out.
Massachusetts P%onghman.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-02-13
SOME DRESSES,
The Garments Used for Dining and Re-
ception Purposes in New York,

AAS rs oSSN y VllluH anu ftes
ceptiOn Purposes in New York.
Velvet, gros grain, satin and brocaded
silks or satins are the materials with
which the modistes are busy for the
elaborate toilettes used from now until
Lent at full-dress entertainments. The
velvet basque and train, with q bro
caded pleated vest and plcated tablier,
form a design that is repeated in many
colorings. One very rich toilet has
Titan red velvet for the full train of five
.breadths, seventy-fiye inches long in
the center and rounded off gracefully
toward the sides. At the top there are
boutfant plaits on the tournure and the
sides. The flat side breadths are of the
velvet, while the front breadth is COW
cred by six broad and long plaits of
gold and red brocaded satin turned to
meet in the middle. A trimming of red
satin balls edges the velvet side panel
breadth. The basque has the square
open vest plated at the top and plain
below the darts already described; this
vest matches the brocade of the skirt,
and the lace gathered round it is round
point. A dress very similarly made is
of poppy red satin duchcsse, with white
and red velvet brocade in front and
point lace, while another dress is entire
ly OF the poppy satin, with black Cham
tilly lace for the trimming.
These bright red toilettes are in great
favor this winter, and quite rival the
many dresses of white or black that are
probably most fashionable of all. Gold
trimmings are used tc enrich elaborate
dresses of black satin by combining
large gilt and large jet beads in strands
or IN the same piece of passementerie.
For instance, a black satin dress with
a three-quarter train made of three
very wide breadths of satin, has in the
front five lengthwise box plaits OF satin,
each finished separately at the foot
with gilt and jet fringe, and these are
separated by flat bands of gilt and jet
passementerie. Three of these plaits
extend up to the belt, while two outer
ones are hidden at the top by a fes-
TONED hip drapery that is also fringed.
The basque has a square neck, with a
this is gathered round point lace; The
sleeves are half-long, with a row OF
beads at the elbows, and a puff of lace
coming out OF it like an under-sleeve,
and ending in two lace frills. For the
black satin dresses that are suitable for
so many occasions q Medicis collar of
Jet is still in favor, while others prefer
eating the neck pointed in the back
and square in front, or else in V-shape
both in back and front. The low round
corsage severely finished On the edge is
seen on opeca toilettes of velvet or OF
satin, especially in the dark colors OF
black that bring out the fair tints OF
the complexion. Drops OF chenille OF
the color of the dress, with gilt, silver,
or jet beads, are much used on the
front breadths and vests of satin
dresses. Black satin powdered with jet,
gilt, or silver beads IS very effective, and
this is easily done at home, as the beads
are merely sewed on at irregular inter-
walls, and are quite near together. -
Ha1pcY''s Bazar.