The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-05-07
GREENBERRY GORDY'S LEAP IN
THE DARK.
BY MEMO.

Conspicuous among the passengers
on the southwark bound train from
Hawkinsville were DIR. Peter Columbus
Hackemup and his blushing bride, Ju-
Llama Keziah, nee Skiggs. The lady
had dotted her favorite color, green,
and donned for the occasion the more
bridelike attire, pale orange, which
harmonized beautifully with the deli
cate salmon tints of her complexion.
All eyes were upon them as they en-
tered the car, DIR. Hackemup, of course.
in advance, with the majestic strut of a
turkey cock, Juliana ambling meekly in
the rear. Smiling benignly and affec-
tionately, the Doctor seated his fair
spouse, and, having attended to her
comforts, took his position beside her.
Suddenly an irreverent youth, over
come by his feelings, calculated, "The
long and the short of it, to which n
companion added, THE thick and the
thin of it, a third joining in,
/ had little husband no bigger than my
thumb.
Convinced that these invidious re-
marks alluded to himself and wife, DIR.
Hackemup shot from his seat like a
rocket, and, glazing in every direction
but the right one, vociferated:
"Could L diagnose the perpetrators
of these atrocious insults, L would STAY
them as did Samson the Philistines, "
and snorting violently, he 1opped back
into his seat.
with that marital expression of
countenance, Peter Columbus, sweet
ly remarked his admiring spouse, you
are irresistible. You remind me of
Venus, the fulsome god of war, as he
rose from the sea. / am competent
Judge" she added, with modest pride,
@for botany was always one of my favor
tie studies"
Somewhat appeased by this soothing
assurance, DIR. Hackemup yielded him.
self to the seductive charm of the oc-
easion, and the tive turtle doves settled
down to little quiet cooling.
Suddenly, however, Mrs. Hackemup
raised her head from the Doctors
shoulder with q jerk, while her coun-
tenance assumed an expression of
anger and amazement. The Doctor,
on his part, began to swell, until he
bore such striking resemblance to the
ambitious frog who tried to be an OK
that it was only by miracle he es-
capped the same fate. The turtle doves
were quarreling.
did you not tell me, madam" thun-
dered the Doctor, "that your invest
ments were secure? Did not Mr.. Som
ers inform me that you were the pos
SCISSOR of fat prize? Where are the
investments, l ask; and where is the
prize?"
"Ohp groaned Juliana; "are these
the cuddibilities of married life?"
Bursting into tears she emitted series
of ear-splitting shrieks, and fell in hys-
terics into the unwilling arms of her
angry spouse, from whence she slipped
TO the floor with shrek, which re-
stored her in the twingling of an eve.
determinations were exchanged Wig
orously for about ten minutes, to the
great delight of the passengers. AS
they approached the next station, DIR.
Hackemup pulled out the 1,O0O-mile
ticket upon which they were travelling,
and shaking it ut his bride, exclaimed
vigorously: "No more of this shall be
wasted. / shall get off at this station
and go back by return train. You can
do as you please"
Juliana would have again resorted to
Mysteries, but the train Stacked up al
this moment, and fearful of losing her
SO lately acquired treasure, she seized
his arm, and they marched of, amid
the audible smiles of the spectators.
In the mean time, Belinda, the Doc
tors pretty daughter, and Harry, hi,
sixteen year-old boy, who had been bit
terly opposed to their fathers second
marriage, were sitting at home to-
gether, trying, with the unselfshness o
truly loving hearts, to comfort eacl
other. just as they mere about to sea-
themselves to their frugal supper o
bread and cheese Cbeing limited to thii
by their fathers express command), TN,
door opened, and without further warn
ing in walked the malcontent bride
and groom, sadly shorn of all thei
pristine grandeur.
A hollow reconciliation had been of
fected on the return trap; DIR. Hackem
up si,rewdly deciding that it would no