Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
HUMAN BIsIC-A.BRAC.


"The dme-museum business Is posi-.
lively fascinating" said an old mana.
ger of those evanescent enterprises to
a New York reporter the other day.
"Once in it, you stay there. The whole
thing is so like gambling that those
! whom it enthralls fade away when dis
! tant from cannibal company. and sim
ply perish while basking no longer in
the Circassan beauty's smiles. They
say there's money in it. So there Isl
But it is the money of the faro bank,
and when made floats away on the
same swift wings. have started, or
assisted in starting. over fifty of these
shows in all parts of the country, and
IL there is anything new under the sun
that haven't exhibited, and which
will take with dime-muscum patrons,
| should like to see it,"
How do you organize such a queer.
new company
Nothing is easier. and again, moth
ing is more difficult. There are always
some monstro,itie out of iob-the
dwarfs, the giants, and the fat folks,
for instance-but, except 1t be in a
fresh place out west, they will not
draw unless invested with the lustre of
strange romance made plausible by
new names. In town that has never
enjoyed a galaxy of our profession it is
simply picnic to be set up in business.
We hire a three-story building and fix
up the interior with bunting and green
and red cloth. In the top story we
put few monkeys and arrange n row
of gaudily colored pictures behind mag
nifying lenses. II we can hire coal
mine, salt-works, or saw-mill cheap, 1t
is placed on the same floor. Don't
look astonished; these things are in
miniature.) After having thus con-
trived to prepare the visitor who be-
gins at the top for greater things, we
put on the second floor the stars.
These are terribly hackneyed human
monstrosities. the magnetic and opti-
cal illusions, the glass blowers. and the
irrepressible Punch and Judy. The
hold which the latter have on the peo-
pie is simply astonishing. ] have seen
persons visit museums several times .
week, and, while they might grow in
different to everything else, they are
never tired OF watching this time hon.
ored drama. The trick of the electric
boy is generally very soon discovered.
as 1t consists in the simple fact that
his touch establishes the connection
between the poles of battery. But
the variety business on little stage on
the first floor is the climax OF the
whole establishment and of our pa
irons delight"
How long does the popular epthu-
siasm lastp"
about three or four months. Then
the smart Alecks in the community
have visions of too much wealth made
by the 'propretors, and the first thing
you know there is lull in your re-
ceipts. You try to liven up matters by
engaging at a stiff salary the two
headed girl and the Yankee Whistler,
but suspicion is rife and you can t
overcome it. After struggling a few
weeks you give up the ghost, and sell
out with few hundred dollars profit.
The next man is as good as new, how
ever. He will make very near rs much
money as you did, and will lose it in
precisely the same manner. So will
two or three after him. Thenceforth
the place will settle down for hum
drum life that would kill men like me. ="
"Are the ex-managers always the
victims Of evil tongues?"
''Well, to tell the truth, no. Some-
times we have bad luck with the
blasted curiosities. A wild man once
played the deuce with me, or rather a
fool set of humanitarians that inter
fered' in his behalf. He was rather
nice fellow when first met him in a
State west of the Mississippi, where he
was born. We drank each others
health, and as he had a soft growth of
hair all over him, and was quite averse
to hard work, we struck bargain. l
dubbed him the Siberian wild man,
and placed him, chained, in cage. 1t
was a great hit | advertised that he
had slain half dozen Cossacks before
he was captured, and you ought to
have seen the idiots stare at him as he
ratified his chains and glared through
the iron bars of his cage. The thing
was talked about until some fool officer
OF an anti-cruelty society got out
warrant for the fellows release. We
had to strike colors, confess the hum
bug, and-leave town.
linen, again, we nave profited by
fools. At one place business was SO
poor that despaired of ever making it
go, and was on the point of throwing
up the sponge when an outside acct
dent wrought complete marvel for
our good. We had man called Tex
as Jack, who was very adept in hand
ling his pistols, besides being a good
shot He could twirl a revolver around
his index finger either way, and then
grasp the butt ready for aim. He never
did this, however, with loaded wea-
pom. A German coachman having seen
Jack in this trick sought to repro
duce it before his friends with loaded
revolver, and fatally wounded himself.
His fortitude and bravery under bis
suffering was q great advertisement
for us, and we coined money even
while the poor devil was being buried.
Ours is. you see, world OF ups and
downs. of pleasure and disappoint-
ment, and still like it"
A Kiss On the Shoulder.
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