Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1885-06-20
Supposed to be- Funny.
Never hurry hen in spring time She
might lay scrambled egg

Never hurry hen in spring time. She
might lay scrambled egg
~ can give five dollars for this object |
and not feel it. " "Then,' said Pastor
Cruzan give ten and feel it.
"Will you take EN- on the half SHELF"
asked the agreeable oyster opener mo
said the stranger, regardless ofexpense,
whole shell or nothing
Can brutes TALK" was the question
under debate II should say they could
my husband talks" was the answer
given by FlatbuJh women who owns
no plush or fur mantal.
How nicely this corn pops" said
a young man who was sitting with his
sweetheart before the fire. "Yes" she
responded demurely, ''it's got over being
green
A sweet little boy. only eight years
old bless his little heart! walked into
school at teachers examination at
Oswego recently, and bawled out:
"Annie, your teller is down to the
house"
The next best thing to seeing man
sitting on the curbstone waiting for
drng-store to come along, is to watch
one earnestly endeavoring to jab a
letter into fre-alarm signalbox
Professor Edison is inventing a
machine to turn overthe festive
slapjacque while the hired girl sits in the
corner and reads the latest novel;
Move on, great armey of progress!
About the time boy begins to
think his mother dosen't know enough
to select his clothing for him is
dangerous period in his history If she
has energy and muscle he can vet be
saved
How many ruined home, now open
and unprotected from the blasts of
winter and the pitiless rain, might
have been still the shelter of happy
hearts if the wife and mother had
preserved her charms by the use Of
What, Messrs Druggists?
AT Japanese dinner.tables one
frequently sees fish alive in bowl, and,
on inquiry, it is that SLIDES served at the
the repast have been cut from the fish
in the bowl, the skin being neatly sewn
after the cutting. This is done to show
that the fish is fresh.
Say, you young woman or young man
who writes letter containing matter
which induces you to write
Burn this" across its face, it
would be better to burn il yourself it
as soon as the ink dries Such letters,
like secrets, are safest when they so no
farther than yourself,
No one realizes how many good actors
there are in this country until he reads
thatthree hundredand fifty combinations
are to.take the road, and that each com
pany has forty performers, with every
performer an artist" You wonder where
the bad actors are until you see the
combinations Try To act.
Atone OF the watering places an impa,
tient young man walked up to the door
ofthe bathing house inwhich he though,
his male companion was dressing, and
knocking on the same, testify inquired
: "When in the blazes are you going to
get those pants on1" There was faint
giggle, and silvery voice replied
"When get married, suppose
!, President Grant is said to be abou
, to purchase newspaper. That vii
finish him. Sidney Smith said there wer,
thina: every man thoughthe could do
carry on farm, drive gig and edi
newspaper "Whom the gods woul,
destroy they first make mad Tn,
industrious paragraphermighthavead
that nearly every other man thinks h,
can run hotel
c The boys were arranging for circus
a Ia Barnum, and most OF the prep
! artions had been made when some on,
discovered that no clown had beef
); engaged. The leader looked the cror,
Il over and making a selection. he said
"Here Willie you must be the clown
!, Now then, Tom takes the tickets
Jimmey leads the band, amgiant ant
j., little Willie stands in the centre an,
! talks bad and act like an IDIOT"
= New South Wales, as is well known
J. was the original convict establishment Q
the Australian islands. The result /
4 that the larger proportion OF those wh'
n are now the richest and considered 4
be the best people OF the colony an
a the immediate defendants OF men VIII
5 left their country for their country
'e good AT recent party in sydney
diplomatic lately Imported from Europ
: was pointing Out to lady, who wa
= there on a visit, the large number G
best people then present After tn
Il enumeration OF long list oil person
distinguished in the colony, the lad
J. remarked. In fact this is quite tn
tysms d< IA ysx<' "Nes' replied IN,
~ diplomat. but we are rather shy in ou
4, French pronunciation here we call
the SyJsss IL 70 ssJss."