The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

We don't keep wholesale store
Boston Courier.
CAUSE AND EFFECT.
See her coming Now she places
Down the street, One small heel
Face so cunning, Squarely on
Form so neat. The orange peel:
Carriage graceful, Slips upon her
Figure straight, Well-formed pate:
Lovely Vassar Awkward Vassar
Graduate Graduate
See it lying Flying garments
On the walk, Then disclose
Some one will Pretty foot,
Upon it stalk. Exquisite hose.
Orange peel Dude is mashed,
Is on the wait And sees his fate!
For the Vassar Sly old Vassar
Graduate. Graduate.
A coal-dealer suggests that premi-
UNI be offered to the housekeeper who
can exhibit the largest pile of ashes
collected during the winter and spring.
George Mcdonald, the novelist, is
editing new edition of Shakespeare.
If there is any one thing that this world
wants more than another it is a new
edition of Shakespeare. - Philadelphia
Call.
The young man who had just made
his first appearance on any stage"
'Did you receive any floral tribute?"
was asked. NO" he replied, ..but l
lodged all the eggs" There was tri-
umph in his tone.
The poor never realize their poverty
so intensely as when they are brought
by necessity to wear the dainty gar
ments concocted for them by fashion
able but kind hearted young ladies at
the last meeting of the Dorcas Club
SOnaerUitle Journal.
Two men in Texas hotel were talk
ing about taxes. (Which do you pre-
fer, direct or indirect taxes?" II don't
want any at all That's the kind | am
in favor of, and let me tell you there
are lots of people in this country who
think as do. "-Hartford Coardnt.
The London journals have not yet
decided whether it is Suakin, Suakim,
Souakin, or Souakim; but when Gen
eral Graham gets home he will be able
TO settle it. He has had considerable
of spell at that place. - Neao York
World.
Journalist to his wife-I feel very
bad this morning. L don't see that it's
worth while TO go to work, for my head
aches so painfully that cannot think"
Wife-Don't try to think any to-day,
dear. Stay at home and work on your
book. "-Arbansa10 1rdueter.
81 trust the current of my discourse
last Sunday was not sufficiently formid-
able to hopelessly ingulf you," jocose-
ly remarked a young Detroit clergy
man to a lady member in his congrega-
ton the other evening so, no! 1t
was quite shallow enough for comfort
able wading, thank youn'
Mamma" said Freddy Popinjay,
'do sounds ever get drunk?" What
silly question" replied his mother.
"Well, l don't care, anyway" cried
Freddy. Il heard our minister say the
other day that the sound was 'dissi-
pated in the air., and if dissipated don't
mean drunk. I'd like t. know what it
does mean. '-Bartlngt0m Free Press.
Young man." said revivalist
solemnly, ''do you feel that you are
prepared to answer the summons at
any momentP Do you realize that
when you go to bed at night you may
be called before the morning dawnsp"
80. yes, sir. I'm night clerk in a
drug store, an all you've got to do is
keep on ringin' the bell until you hear
me holler. IN. Y San.
Fenderson-What do you think of
my writings? Are they too satirical?
Fogg-Satirical, you rogue? l never
saw your like. You're cutting every
body up. You're perfect vivisection-
ist Henderson - You fiatter me.
Fogg-Not bit. You're vivisection-
lst And the best of it is that the man
who reads your slashing articles does
not know that he is being cut up. They
act as an anasthetic, you know.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
A candidate for a city office was
reading morning paper which during
the previous year had been condemnng
him furiously but had changed its tone.
He smiled as he read pleasant para
graph, and remarked sneeringly to a
friend sitting near: "Ha, the sheet is
becoming quite complimentary" lis
it?" Yes; it calls me a gentleman
now, but last year it called me a thief,
a liar, and a scoundrel." 80, YOU
mustn't notice that; this is your off
year you know. "-Nerchdnt Traveller.
There used to be an old gentleman
who lived up in one of the parishes of
this State who was noted for his tre-
mendous department and punctuality.
Arriving in the city for the first time.
he accosted young man about town
who was standing on the corner of
Canal street. Il wish, my young
friend" said he, taking out his watch,
"to go to the st. Charles hotel"
"Well,' said the gilded youth, ''you
may go, but don't stay but half an
hour. "-NeO Orleans Times Democrat.
A gentleman signing himself phil
anthropist' writes the bulletin to in
quire ''if the electric light may not
prove factor for reform. If the bus
mess streets were nightly made as light
as Franklin Square, do you think men
who love to be respectable would tum-
BILE into the street at late hour to be
taken home by the police? Isn't this
modern light an antagonist to deeds of
darkness and shame?" We give it up.
When we don't know whether there is
dynamite or soothing strip back of an
inquiry we make it u rule to let it alone.
-NoraOich (Ct.) Bulletin.
SOu1e Oh our reluefS may remem Der
the ancient definition "A noun is the
name of thing. as horse, hair, JUS
tice." In the Memoir of Adiel Sher-
wood, ID. D., recently published, the
story is told of a young man who STUN
bled grievously at this point, What
is noun then?' he said; .'but first l
must lind out what is a horse-hair ius-
tice." He meditated upon this for sew
eral days, until seeing his father seated
in his legal capacity as Justice of the
Peace in the old horse-hair settee, he
exclaimed, with delight: Il have
found it; my father is horse-hair JUS
tice, and therefore a noun. "-Chtcaoo
Standard.
Near Chickasawhatchee, Ga, says the
Savannah NeDs. line of earthwOrks
can still be seen which were thrown I'D
by Gen. Jackson (Old Hickory as a