Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-08
rTRCUMS TANCE S
T.. L. f., IN Chicago Tribune.

s+onces the mana" says Bulwer.
q CT bet on circumstances every time
NV scrapes-and there. are lots OF
III an never really to blame, but
ne -,,.s sDpear to be. I'm a sort of toy OF
sr',v-e foot ball of fortune Other fel.
- 10 disgusting, outrageous things and
never found out; but I-by Jovel
En- to engage q boy to go around with
inst to have him ready to testify TO my
ySo,nc. when the next storm breaks on
Id.voted head. For | am tired of this
ny mat business 1t wears on the
So as the cashiers say when they start
VA for Canada.
"1nst look at that awful "third-story win
,.,r racket l was led into by Tommy
Wins which paralyzed all Philadelphia
made it necessary for me to have a
1,,ge Of air tse veral of my aunts took a
~anye of their at the same time), while
sunny enjoys himself at home Nobody
tsnes him No relations cut him out of
,sslr wills. o, mol 1t was all that awful
T,idv Bouncer's" fault Tommy is all
,,bt and / am cooped up in dirty
.rebitsct's office in New Jersey dra wing
4 ,v-hou,es while he doubtless Is RECALLING
ha fellows with distorted version of the
STAIR
Now, merely to put myself straight, I'll
a,.+ tell you the facts as they truly oc-
mrred. Then I fancy you will agree with
ma that circumstances 10 make the man.
II was 2 a. m We had left poker party
ct Harry Coles, where we had had just a
oval old time. l was dead broke--alway
am after these pleasant little entertain
ments-but very jolly, and Tommy Wig.
Gins agreed to see me home. He was very
efable till he reached his door, when he
cody said he'd ask me in, only his mother
vouldn't stand IL. "For you are not quite
III the thing he added.
Not quite the thingl What was he. I'd
N like to knowf
20. that's all right for you, but where dc
I come inp | inquired. "You know
+ haven't a cent and have lost my latchkey.
You don't mean to leave me like thisl"
Can't help it," he replied with drunken
gravity, mothers put her foot down"
well, suppose you lend me 81. 75," sug-
gestsd; "that'll make it just an even $25
owe YOU, and l can get room somewhere. "
Don't want tc make it even SIS" he
muttared; "522 % is bad enough"
20. never mind, don't worry about me, "
said, thinking to sting him with little
cold sarcasm "Don't fret. l can go home
and climb in the third-story window"
Yes ! would" be retOrted, utterly miss
ng the point "If you can't work that try
the 60 l-nOie."
Then voice. plaintive female voice,
pipeI out, "TommY!'
Tommy and | tiattened ourselves against
the house like one man, but in vain.
The voice resumed; "You walk yourself
IA directly. see you: you need not try tt
hide
'Yes" giggled Tommy. "She sees me and
calls Goo'-niyh b., Teddy" And be sneaked
into the house, and left me-left me, {
scion of the oldest family in Philadelphia,
10 get myself home any way | could. 1t wa,
5sastlY shame, for my Aunty Tabby say:
hat at the time my grandfather was ar
IGNORED guest in the White House Tommy.
Vas tinker The fellow should have es
& tened it an honor to ass st me.
However, there l was with the best blood
& n America going round like a mr. wheel il
b pay bead and making the street dance Jig.
was not tight-nO, indeed; loose described
my condition, particularly about the knees
As l fell easily and naturally from one su-
Ierb pose plastique to another on my way
Gown the street l seemed to be double or
triple jonted-a regular india-rubber man.
After an arduous struggle reached my
own door anu sunk down on the steps to
ink over the situation. snow" said l.
'ae strongest point in my favor Il am al
Ways logical after poker parties) is that
an the only lodger in this old barracks of a
Cay-school Consequently l am not liable
observations or interruptions even from
janitor But there is stronger one
against me-namely; my legs, which refuse
70 obey my will Now. having two legs
Ell Il tfma hpai ar.1 win -,
where the majority rules, it will certainly
pe awkward il my brain says: 'Pn climb
ny TO my window" and my legs reply
ne prefer doubling up on the sidewalk.
here my brilliant argument was rudely
Interrupted by two horrii little belated
nuckers" siding up and yelling, "Ol look
at the drunken dude, a taking his siestay n
Think of the degradationI A Bouncer
eersl aJ by the raDble The blood of my
aass5orS boiled. My impulse was to wipe
lt Jne insult in blood their blood My
sss seconded ms molly; they left bowling.
1nls little encounter braced me up SC
thoroughly that by a little exsrtion l got
louni the corner into the alley that runs
O7lind the houses on Chestnut street. TAX
~ seat on the curbstone l contem-
l,ed Vhe row Of neat brick houses. One
'Hen was my destination. The delicate
ueation OF "WhichP arose, and affairs
la.ckened up again.
knew my house had an extension on the
I'' moor and a conservatory on the second
0h WAIcn l knew l could easily step into
ny window But so had all tins rest. How
- eartl was l to pick out minel A severe
-'H'ii struggle inclined me 10 think it the
IA from the corner Of Twentieth street Ac-
nsy taking the lamp-post as a start
VI point came down the alley counting,
'H''hced That, in spite Of my fathers in
-''ouS rehectionS, l had brain and large
ana arrived at the sixth house in a
ol great satisfaction. Looking CAREFUL y
,1'1' put an ASH barrel against the
's' made break for it, and found my
~ tls yard, with rather more ashes on
ppy.
E1 much for Buckingham" cried, and
.'l'need to climb up the extension
w. l'uaily gymnastics are not at ali
-y inei but that night / developed q
ri.ene's, a sort Of capacity for hanging
~ nothing, that inclined rue strongly
euo Darwinian theory. felt sure
iome not very remote period
"11 an old grandfather who got his meal,
fl!hnlng up cocoauut-trees Nothing