Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1885-03-06
SUPPRESSED
Aiund of wit and Humor Which Was Not
Properly Appreciated.

Properly Appreciated.
Il. j. Burdette has quit the Burlington
H,,r'ege, to which he has lent much
'iNacity for many years. l remember
oacc hearing him tell how he got to
joking in print. He was local editor OF
the Peoria Transcript. He had to till
two columns day. 1t was hard work.
Dog fights were scarce and human be-
ings We're disgustingly sober and peace.
able. His page was dull.
At home was his wife i'll of the disease
of which she finally died. and to cheer
her up he stayed at home an hour or
two at noon and wrote imaginary Local
events of an exciting nature and read
them to her. They wcr, grossly i'm
probable and funny. They did no, hay,
debil tating effect on her. but actual,
made her laugh. ard ore day she said
Robbie this ridiculous stun Of YOURS i,
bad enough TO print. Having seen that
l survive it why don't you try it ON Soul
readers?"
lie cautiously did SO, dealing il out Ia
small doses. 1t was copied everywhere
| remember copying some of the idioc,
myself away up in Minnesota This had
been going on for fortnight. mavbe
when one day Mr.. Emory. editor of tn,
paper, sent for Robert requesting him
to come 10 his private room. Aha
said Robert, rubbing his hands and
glowing from stem to stern. "Tvs
fetched him! I've fetched him. He,
going to raise my salary
''Mr Burdette." said Mr.. Emory.
when the audacious youth was seated.
1.-TWO lunatics escaped from tho asylum
last week. believer"
Yes. sir; yes-two-b one of them
was captured "
'One was captured" sad the editor,
thoughtfully, zone only one. What
became of the other. Mr.. Burdette?"
He hasn't been found yet" answered
the jocose youth: they're securing the
woods for him."
''ls it not possible that he may be
secreted about the Building somewhcrc'
In your room, for instance
"Why. no, Mr. Emory! What pu,
such an idea into your head?'
Have you among your friends any
body who is a driveling idiot, Mr.. Bur
dette?"
mo, sir. no, oh no. sir. l think not
protested the youth. moving uneasily
in his chair
"Who might get into the Office and
insert articles without your knowledge
in your long absence at dinner, for
instance?"
%: no. Mr.. Emory, no; why do YOU
ask?"
Il met an intoxicated man the other
night going down the stairs. Who wa-
II don't know, indeed" said Bur
dette. I'VE had just bounced him"
Did he write anything for the paper
clandestinely and surreptitiously while
he was here?" persisted the editor
"Why, no. of course; l see everything
that goes in this page"
"Well. then. Mr.. Burdette, who is !,
that makes those sickly attempts to he
funny that see in your columns every
day?'
Burdette blushed. rubbed some dirt
off his left pantaloons leg with his right
OoOts anu Sdiu. AtCuiiNs WI i.
I-you see-I hardly -well-th fact is
there's nothing avaricious about me,
Mr.. Emory. but l shall have to claim
those myself"
"Oh!" exclaimed the editor. feigning
surprise. You? Well, don't do so
any more. They make me melancholy.
They are dreadful lugubrious. They
seemed to have emanated from q
wrecked brain. You can 90 to your
room, Mr.. Burdette. wouldn't have
thought it of you. Don't do so any
more. If there's anything funny to
be written, I'll write it myself"
Burdette went home all broke up.
He resigned next day and crossed the
Mississippi. II left" says the humor-
list. "becausc. sincerely, l couldn't look
him in the face after that. had been
caught in the act and felt like guilty
thing'-Cro6nt. in Kansas CITY Jour
,iDI