Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1885-11-28

tie hymn book. ayd the minister opened
it and turned pale and said. what's this,
and they all looked at it. and it was Il
book OF lioylc's Games instead Of hymn
book, Gosh was:,'t the min lister mad
He had started to read hymn and he
quit after he read two lines where i: said:
In game of four haudcd cucher, never
'rump youl partners ace, but rely on tue
ace 10 take the trick on SUIT Ia was
trying to explain how the book come to
be there, when the minister and the dea
coos started out, and tlsE | poured the
two quart pail full of soft soap on the
front step. 1t WAS this white soap, just
the color of the step, and when l got l.
spread went down in the basement.
The visitors came out and pa was trying
to explain to them about Hoylc, when
one of TIE deacoas stepped III the soap
and his feet flew up and he struek k on his
pants and slid down the steps. The min
ster said, great heavens deacon are you
hurt9 Let me assist You And he took
two quick steps, and you have seen these
fellows in the niggcr show that kick each
other heal over heels and fall on their
ears, and stahd on their heads AMI
turn around like a top. The minister's
tact slipped and the next ssw he vac
standing on his he&o in his hat, and his
'9s wera So OF 'v,jtcr,,. an &C limp by
his sid,, ard hn fell over or his stumach
You talk about spreading the gospel in
htati.er lands. 1t is nothing to the way
you n spread it with two quarts q
soft soap. The minister didn't look pious
abt when le was trying 20 catch the railing.
He locked as though ne wanted to mur-
der every man on earth, but it may be he
was tired. Well, pa was paralyzed, and
he AMI the Other deacon rushed out tc
pick up the minister and the first old man,
aud when they s'rGck the step they were
hitting. P.'s feet somehow shipped back
ward. and lie turned sumersault and
struck full length on his back, and one
heel was across the minister's neck, and
lie slid down the steps, and the other dea
con fell all over the other three, and pa
swore ut them, aud it was the worst look
lug Plus people ever saw. | think if
the minister had been back in the woods
somcwher G. where nobody would boar
him, he would have used language
They all seemed mad at each other. Tbs
hired girl told ma there were three tramp9
out OH the sidewalk fighting pa, and ma
she took the broom AMI started to help
pa, and l tIlcd to stop ma cause her
constitution IL not very strong and | did
not want her to do a'y flying trapcz',
but | couldn't stop her, @nd she wen;
out with a broom and Il towel tied around
her head. Wen, don't know where she
did strike. bat when she came in she said
she had pulpitatiou OF tue heart, but that
was not the place where she put The ar
nica. ., but she did go through The sir
like q bullet through cheese, Ind when
She went down the steps Il bumpitybump,
felt sorry or ma. The minister had got
SO he could SIT up on the sidewalk, with
his back against the lower step, when ma
came slidinY down, and one of the heels
OF her CATERS hit the minister in the hairs
and the other foot went right through
between his arm and his side, and the
-. 4. L..
throat. But he was not mad at ma. As
soon as he see ii was ma he said. why,
sister, the wicked stand in slippery places,
don't they? and ma she was mad and said
tor him to let go her stocking, anil then
pa was mad and he said, look -a>here, you
sky pilot, this thing has gone far enough
and then "A policeman came along, aud
first he thought they were all drunk, but
he found they were resp 'ctible, aal he
get "A chip and scrapcd the soap of of
them, and they went home, end pa and
ma they got in the house somo way, and
Just then the letter carrier came along.
but he didnt have any letters for u.s. and
he didn't come ONO the steps, and then
| went up stairs and said, Pa don't you
think it IS real mean, after you and fixed
he soap on tie steps for the letter carrier,
he III Int come On the stcD at all and pt