St. Landry democrat., 1885-02-28
Reforming Husbands.
New York Times.

An admirable remedy for keeping
| husbands at home was recently invent
ed and successfully tried by an inge-
NOUS wife. Unfortunately the efficacy
of the remedy depends upon the secre-
| cy with which it is used. Were the
knowledge of it confined exclusively to
wives it could be made to reform thou
sands of husbands, but in an evil hour
it has been made public and husbands
have been put upon their guard.
The inventor, whom we may call
Mrs. Smith, was troubled with hus-
band who persisted in spending his
evenings at the LODGE" the Office"
and other vague places, while she was
Mr.. Smith found himself a victim to
curious irritation Of the skim This
irritation usually made itself felt to-
ward evening, and was greatly aggra-
waited by motion. So long as Mr..
Smith remained seated in chair it sell
dom troubled him, but as soon as he be-
gan to walk about he was attacked,
sometimes in one place and sometimes
in another, with a burning sensation so
painful as to compel him to sit down
and remain quiet. The surface of Mr..
Smith, wherever the irritation manifest
ed itself, was found to be covered with
minute blisters, and although he tried
all sorts of patent medicines, he found
no relief except that obtained by keep
ing qniet. He was forced to give up
attendance at :" the lodge" and " the
Office" and to spend his evenings at
home, and although at first he resented
this necessity, he gradually found that
home was pleasant and inexpensive
evening resort.
The secret of this change in Mr..
Smiths habits was the use made of
croton oil by his ingenious wife. Mrs.
Smith was in the habit of dropping
little crotOn oil on her husbands under
garments either early in the morning
or when he began to dress for the even
ing. The oil produced little effect eX-
cept when the act of walking on the
part of Mr.. Smith produced a certain
amount of friction, in which case it did
it's work in most thorough way. Mr..
Smith having been successfully reform
ed, Mrs, Smith unWisely impaired in
confidence to several married ladies of
her acquaintance her admirable system
for reclaiming wandering husbands.
Naturally the married ladies cOnfided
the secret to other married ladies, who
were solemnl ly pledged to say nothing
about it. The wide publicity thus
StNGu W Gu0 CLOCTu Oll LCLVl lulhOOLy plO~
cess inevitably Ia to the discovery by
Mr.. Smith of the real character of his
mysterious disease, whereupon he was
filled with rage against his wife, and
returned with renewed zest to his wal
lowing in +" the lodge"
Although husbands can no longer be
reformed with crOton oil, now that the
secret is out, there are, perhaps, other
agents that would be equally etfica-
cious. However this may be, there are
thousands of wives who. have never
heard, and probably never will hear, OF
Mrs. Smiths great remedy. Wives who
are too fond of leaving their homes for
shopping or pleasure purposes could
readily be reformed with croton oil.
The stocking will naturally suggest
itself as affording an excellent locality
for the application of the oil. Care, of
course, should be taken not to use the
oil too freely, but from five to ten drops
skillfully applied would render shop
ping impracticable, and would, per-
haps, save a worthy husband from
bankruptcy and make his home attrac-
tive and cheerful.