The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1885-05-27

An exchequer' A retired baggage
master.
When dealer in hosiery fails he socks
his creditors.
Very roprlar novel tamong olllcc-hunt-
crs ju: I at picsentJ-" Put Yourself In His
Place"
As roller skating was not In vogue in
the Garden of Eden, we are still puzzled
10 account for the fail of Adam.
First wretch: "lIow's your wife, old
man :" Second wretch :" Bully Bad
cold ; can't speak above whisper"
"Nervous Cir" wnnts to know how to
cure u tickling sc" .ution about the face.
Get him TO shave cll his moustnche.
'"Whut is laughter I" asked y scientist
1t is what You don't hear wien you lind
your wife sitting up for you after the
club.
When n man stays down town at his
ciiicc until midnIght trying TO strike. "
ialancr, he generally loses it before he
i,cJS home.
"Well, my young gentleman. and how
would yon like your hair cutW oh,
like papa's, please-with little round
hole ut the top"
A grease spot Gun be taken out of q car
pet by applying a warm buckwheat bat
ter, and the batter can be taken out by
cutting a hole In the carpet where the bat
Ter was applied.
Eyes" said the school girl who had
risen from hclowest to the highest position
In her class, ~ shall have horseshoe for
my symbol, rs 1t denotes having come
from the foot"
A colcred woman, when reprovcd for
undue expression OF grief, said: Now,
lopk heah, honey, when de Lord sends us
iribulations down, don't you s'pose he
'spects us to tribulate p
A Harlem Lille, on being told that she
had got little sister, clapped her hands
and exclaimed: "How delightful T"
Then turning TO the bearer of the good
news she added: docs ma knowp
81 feel like Joseph" said a sorrowing
husband like Joseph In the Bible; for
my wife is dead she was cremated, and
yonder stands the urn with the ashes In it 4,
and, like Joseph, love my Pot-of-her."
Mamma, who tore Mr.. Bland's hair
all out ?" said little Mabel. "Hush, child,
you mustn't speak of such things. Papa
IL bald, too, you know" Yes, bnt |
want TO know who tore Mr.. BANDS hair
ell out he isn't married"
Kate Field tells how the Mormon in
iquity can be got rid OF. "Giye them,"
she says, whatever they nre most OPP
posed to; whatever they don't want, mako
them have" Just what we have always
said Give them plenty of millinary
stores.
Said that dappor little lawyer, Ambrose
II. Purdy, "Therc is n restaurant In
New York city where can get
twenty-four kinds OF meat and vegetables
for fifteen cents" How do you do
thaty' asked Colonel Fellows. al order
hash"
Uncle: "Well, Ethel, you've been
looking ut the fire a long while What do
YOU see there :" Ethel dreamy little
dear): "Oh, all sorts OF things, uncle
faces and people" Johnny (practical,
with an eye 70 "tiPs"; do you see the
face Of anybody there who'd give you
half dollar
"I would rather you did not 60 TO
skate, Edward / don't think the ice Is
safe" said fond mother. "You need
not be afraid Of my getting drowned
can swim" Fond mother: " It's not
that am afraid OF your being drowned ;
but II you were to get in, just think what
an awful cold you would have"
Mr.. Minks: "My dear, you should not
put coins in your mouth, for diseases are
often caught that way" well. I'm In
no danger from the money you give me-"
replied Mrs. Minks. "And why not,
pray ~ Because you always squeeze o
quarter hard enough 10 crush all animal
life out OF 1t before you part with It,"
80 may really have the next waltz {"
said a Harlem dude TO married belle the
other night it's 80 good OF you, Mrs. NJ.
know how rarely you'll consent to
waltz with anybody, l am greatly
favored" mot at al, Mr.. Ladedah. I
don't object to waltzing. in general; 1t Is
only my husbands absurd Jealousy, you
know. But I'm sure he won't mind
my taking turn with you, you know"