Milford chronicle., 1885-04-03
SHE FOUND IT.

"WhO dat dar Z says Aunt Louisa, an
accomplished culinary artist of ebony
persuasion the other day, as she peeped
behind the stove and saw a dark object
lying on the floor. "Who dat dar fling
dem dishrags down dere? 'Clar to good
ness, day work this nigger to def. And
Aunt Louisa stopped down, grabbed the
dark looking object and began to scOur
away industriously on a pan. But she
hadn't given but one or two wipes when
she dropped it like a coal Of fire. She
looked at three scratches across her hand
and rubbed her cheek where the blood
came out, and as she watched the dish
rag scampering over the floor with its
tail up she exclaimed: "Bress de good
ness, dat dishrag was de cat. - GreeRes-
borough (Ga.) Journal
HONESTY THE BEST POLICY.
EYES," said the honest farmer, 81
know there are people what always puts
til big apples at the tOD Of the bar'li
but L 'an't,"
"TPo7 ut" 7eacon
I 'ls..l-..44..,sly. have always=s-r-l.o 70
convince folks that that sort O. thing
don't pay in the long rum"
"If they'd go to the city once in
awhile they'd learn something. 1 always
put my big apples at the bottom of the
bar'l.
"That's the way"
eyes; you see people has got so sus-
picious that they most always open the
bar'l at the bottom nowadays"
THE wIFEs FIRST EFFORT.
Young Wife cher first attempt at mar
keting)-"Have you any nice roast
beef?"
Butcher-"Yes, mum; 1 have the
Chicago dressed beef.
Young Wife-'1s it in good condi-
ton ?"
Butcher-"Yes, mum. It's shipped
in refrigerator cars and when it reaches
this city it's frozen solid"
Young Wife-'Very well, you may
send a nice piece, if it is frozen. It was
only yesterday that I heard my husband
say he was very fond of cold roas
beef.
DID NOT LIKE IT.
A Scotch minister was once ordered
"beef-te tea" by his physician. The next
day the patient complained that it made
him sick. "Why, minister" said the
doctor, "Ill try the tea myself" So,
putting some in a skillet, he warmed it,
tasted it, and told the minister it was
excellent 'Man," says the minister,
sis that the way ye sup it ?" "What
ither way should it be suppit It's ex-
cellent, say, minister. ''It may be
guide that way, doctor; but try it wa the
cream and sugar, man try it wi that,
and then see hoo ye like it |"
CAUSED BY COUGH.
care YOU troubled with cough ?"
asked Yeast of Crimsonbeak, while at
Church.
Very much, " replied Cnmsonbeak.
''How long have you had it9 further
questioned Yeast.
'Had itP Why, haven't got It'll !"
'Thought you said you were troubled
with q cough?"
so 1 am" responded the facetious
man. turning around and looking at the
parishioner behind him, who was cough
ing violently, "but it's that mans cough
behind me. - YOnk'ers Statesman.
SYMPATHY.
Pete Osterhout is one Of the most
rascally negroes in Galveston. He was
caught stealing poultry, and brought up
before the Justice "The evidence, said
the Judge, ''shows that you stole the
chickens from Colonel Jones' hen-coop,
and the fine should be five dollars, but
I'll let you off this time. "Who wants
ter be let off ?" exclaimed the prisoner,
81 steals my chickens, and pays my
fine, and don't ask muffin OBJ nobody.
Dis heah mixing up sentiment and biz
ness am what's ruinin' de kentry. -
Teras Siftings.
TOO MUCH CURIOSITY.
The new servant girl came to her mis-
tress crying and holding on to her
finger.
OF the house.
81 run one Of the forks into my hand,
and if it is that plated stuff I'll get lock-
:Don't be alarmed, " said themistress,
call my silver is genuine. l don't keep
any plated ware"
Next morning the servant girl was
gone, and so was the silver. ~ IerGs
SlJJjngs.
BEFORE AND AFTER.
Photographer displaying some pho
tographs)-You would hardly think those
two pictures Represented the same man,
would your
Gentleman-No, certainly not.
Photographer-Well, they do. The
one represents him before he went to
Washington and the other after he came