Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-06-17

to know of one of the class why she
was late.
.My beau slew me last night quite
late and I was tardy in arriving this
a. NJ, giggled the coming woman.
'Do you mean that you were out
sleighing?'
II was not slain, if you please.
Present, Stay; past, slain; past perfect,
slew: What he did is past, and you
bet it was perfect
t'What an incorrigible you are, y
said the poor distracted teacher.
''He said I was daisy" replied
the miss throwing piece of chewing
gum to the ceiling and catching it in
her mouth as it fell.-Chicago Herald.
All Sorts.
Prof. John Stuart Blackie, who has
just resigned the Greek Professorship in
the University of Edinburgh, which he
hes occupied for thirty years, was a
great favOrite of the students. 1t is
related that once, on the first day of
the college year, he posted on his class
room door a notice that professor
Blackie will meet his classes, on
the 4th inst, at the usual hours A
joker among the students erased the
CO. in ''classes' thus announcing that
the Professor would ''meet his lasses, -
etc. As class-time drew near, the
young men gathered about to s'see
what Blackie would do The Profess
sor came, glanced at the card, touched
it with pencil, and passed on to his
his desk, smile overspread-
ing his features. The students
followed him into the room, with
mingled emotions of jollity and dis
may, when they saw that his deft pen
cil-stroke had obliterated the '.l,'
leaving the announcement that Pro-
lessor Blackie would ''meet his asses, ~
at the usual hour.
! An Irish woman entered one of the
National Banks in Providence the other
day, and presented check at the cash
ier's desk. The cashier looked at her
and said, politely: madame, you
must get identifed.' Faith, an what
that?' "Why, you see, you are 8
stranger to me. I don't know you
''Will thin, I'm proud to introduce me,
silf to yez. My names Sary MacFlinn,
an I'm not ashamed of it!'' "Well,
but you see 1 cannot tell whether you
are the person whose name is on the
Check said the cashier, too polite to
tell her that perhaps she was lying
about it. IAN what did ye say must
do?" identify yourself. Bring some
one here that knows you.'' ''1ndade!
An who knows me better than l know
mesilf?'' The cashier paid the check
without another word.
A museum of relics collected by Mr.
y. w. Sawyer. cashier of a bank al
Boothbay, Maine, contains, among
other curious things, piece of worm.
eaten plank found in Goldfish, and a
watch-chain taken from a cod on the
Banks. A brown jug in the collection
has this curious fish story: One of the
crew of the schooner Willie G., al
Southport, accidently broke the handle
from jug and threw it overheard.
Four weeks afterwards, in that locality,
while cleaning Goldfish just drawn in,
the fisherman exclaimed: Wal, by
gracious now, if l don't believe that
here's the handle of my jug;'' and, sure
enough, the piece found in the cod fit
ted completely, and both are here tc
verify it.
Recently M. Bartholdi, the designer
Of the colossal statue of ''Liberty En-
tightening the world" which is to be
erected in New York harbor, enter.
tanned party of friends in Paris at
luncheon. The table was laid in the
lower folds of the drapery of the figure.
The weight of the figure will be $50 tons,
and the height from head to foot about
10 feet, and from the end of the torch
raised in the right hand to the feet &c
feet.
"The fact isl said a tramp, 81
have read so much about the troubles
in the labor market, that I am heartily
sick of the whole business and I made
up my mind long ago that l would
never have anything to do with labor.
| AS am a man who never forsakcs his
principles, I cannot work; but if you
have nice rare steak and cup of hot
coffee about the premises, III devote q
few moments to their dem olition.''
"The only application of the techni.
cal term, a 'dispensation of Providence,
that l ever heard with PLEASURE re.
marks Fanny Kemble in her "Remi-
niscences,' twas that of the dcvout ole
Scotch lady who said, 'Hech, sirs, I'm
never weary of rejecting on the gencr
Gus dispensations of Providence towarC
myself and its righteous judgments or
my neighbors' y
They were talking over music at thu
table of their host, who, as they were
already we'll aware, owed his fortune tt
his own unaided exertions. "You ar,
fond of Rossini?'' asked one of the
guests. "Passionately,'' replies tn
host. "Knows his 'Barber?f ~ "No
sir, do not-never patronized the man
have shaved myself for the last fort,
years.
There is great scarcity of water tn
present season in France and Ger
many. The level of the Seine ha
never been so low since 1884. The rail
which fell last winter did not reac]
half the usual quantity. The engineer
of the city of Paris and the Govern
ment are trying to find protection
against such scarcity in time to come
| One Sunday evening the Rev. Mr.. B.
preached from the text, saul, Saul
why persecutest thou me?" In tn
congregation there was an engine
driver, named Saul, who was accompa
MED by his wife and little girl. Tn
reverend gentleman repeated his tex
several times: saul, Saul, VIII,
persecutest thou me?'' At last tn
daughter of Saul thinking that tn
text had personal application, locke.
up in the face of her father and said
Don't mind him, father; he has beer
drinking.'
Aman who happened to be in a villag
when it was plundered by French sol
diers, many of whom wore upon thei
:. | 81 10 o< h 7 -