The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1885-12-29
Seuse and eNnuse,1ge.

Sepse and eNnpse,1se.
The net to catch man matrimouially.
The brunette 81 aa h
There are $40 900 more women than
men 10 Great Britain.
Three things to avnif-idleness, 10.
quacity and fl ppant j-s,ing
A mans temper, unlike the kindling,
in stove, is often fret by bad match.
Bm spelling never looks 60 bad ss it
does when on fashionable note paper.
Ca'arrh is q constitutional disease.
Hoods Sarsaparilla is q constitutional
remedy. 1t cures catarrh. Give it q
trial.
A witness, who was being examined
10 divorce case at Laurence. Ca, late.
lay, was asked the maiden name of his
wife. but was unable TO give il.
"A genuine patriot, said an election
orator recentlv, "must at all times be
ready to die for his country, even though
1t should cost him bis life" rhnn.
dering applause
Julia Jagged six)-"We've got a new
baby at our house" Clara (sqed six)-
What is it, boy or 3 girI2" Jnlra-
'Ol, We don't know yet. We've ONLY
had it two days."
"Whst is wan'ed," ssys a cefgyman,
"is . recreanon that's inexpensive, that
furnishes physical exercise and is BARN.
less to the morals" Saving wood
would seem to I'LL the bill.
Miss Smith. wealthy old lady, who
died at Chapel Hill, N. c., recentlv, re.
membered her old slaves in distribution
Of her property, willing to each 100
acres Of land and S125 in money.
Customer: "Whv, hang It man
You're wiping of my plate with POUR
handkerchief.
New Waiter: "That's all right. lam
going to put it in the wash next week
anyhow au So.
Ninety cigars In two hours was the
hest of record by which an Orlando
Cal man endeavored to smoke hin.
self into fame and some cash. It is
said be lost only on the ninetieth cigar 1
which sickened him.
A j. Holland Of Mason Valley, New,
has raised three kittens that he ohtsined
from the nest of q wild cat that be had
killed. They have become thoroughly
domesticaled, and, though now but four
months old, are good ratters.
Second Husband TO wifi -"Are you
rs fond Of me as yon we're If your first
husband, dear p" Wife-"Yes, indeed
and il you we're to die. John, I would
ne just as fond of my third. I'm not q
woman to marry for anything but love"
Telephone connection has been estab-
ished between Paris and Rheims, dis
ance OF about lis miles. and the trans.
Mss on OF sound is sal to be perfect.
Give minutes conversation costs l franc,
md in tve minutes each party can tsy
ONE 800 words.
Lacked the Courage
met the girl of the.
And gently took her.R
thought I'd pop the?
But didn't have the S&.
st. Joseph G.usae.
There must be roller skating riiks in |
eaven. for We read that Hebe, the god
ess OF youth, daughter Of Jupiter. and
uno. and the cup bearer of the gods,
,as b,nished from heaven on acc ,unt
{ an lnlucky fall.-Carl Pretzels Week
y. J
Maeis'rate-"EYer been arrested be.
prep" Pri.oner-"No, sah." Mag.
send you to the island
sst winter for ten da,sf" Prisoner
! declar's 10 goodness. nov l looks at
o., Jedge. l b'lieves yo' did But Ise
poo hsn' to member iaces." ea 4
"MY dear, demonstrated a wife, peer.
ng out from under the bel clothes, I do
'ish you would use the word 'sheol' Ii
ounds hetters" ut may sound better
times" replied her husband, who Was .
oisily nursing his heel "but when a
Ian sters on tack nc wants the old
ersion." As - 7e Os sss
"Land sakes! II this isn't the most :
eculiir accident ever I see!" and the ,
Id ladv's spectacies dropped down on /,
pr throat and almost choked her
What grandma, what" Train of |,
ire tarown IRON the track by deiect i
e frog. And yet it don't saw nothin' :
,out how had the animal was hurt. .
luashed, maybe" st9
Strive to he hsppy. o't c
This life is not all sunshine, T
Nor is il vet all showers; $40
But storms and oalms alternate
Az thorns among the flowers.
Apd while we seek the roses y
The thorns full oft we scan; y
Still let us, though they woand us, .
Be happy as we can.
"What struck you most during your +,
,vsIs last sumner ?" asked the pastor =
Vell." the deacon replied, in musing ;
". be couldn't just exactly say be :,
ther thought the sleeping.car porter 4
ruck him the oftenesi, but the waiter ;,
'uck him for the biggist stakes" And
c poor. bewlldered pastor only sighed A
d eaii "Ab T. inquiringly, and wished
at be bad more intellccluaicompsnion.
ip in bis yokefellows OF the church. 3,
"Ye.," said the Colonel, II was on 9 b
ry in California once. II VS. mur.
I trial didn't want tue fellow hung, 81
. so stuck out against the other ell, ven
r nine DAYS, locked up in the jury. '
ON, when thev gave in,snd We brought
verdict OF 'Npt guilty AMI then v
vas the maddest man in the State"
Vhv, what we're you mad about. Col.
ei 2" "Csnse The mub had hung the !,
isoner the fret day We we're locked :
~ Is
II waa at q roilroad {ppcf;on 80 I'll, w