St. Landry democrat., 1885-05-23
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
Brother Gardeners Ideas on
the PrOmeness of Mankind to
Err-Bright Examples Drawn
from Lifes
Detroit Free Press.

Detroit Free Press.
sDoan look for infallibility in de hu-
man race,n said Brother Gardner, as ne
arose and looked down upon the clTGle xTcl
of baldheads in fatherly way. we
has all got our ott-days an our
weak spots. We size up a man as pos
| sessin' honesty, industry, patience, mo-
rality an religun, an we admire him
accordingly. Fust we know he slips a
cog. He am tempted outer de true path
AM we whOop an howl Ober his down
| fall as if it war sunthln' unprecedent-,
! ed. 1t amt bekase he was fairly goOd
man, but mo- bekaSe we had gin hlm
| too many virtues. He couldn't h0ld up
under all Of EN-
"When gin Trustee Pullback de job
of reshinglin' my cabin fully DelIeyed q
| dat he war an honest man. But dldn
hand him de money to buy de nails, nor
did sOt around wild my eyes shet an
| let him mix third-class an fuSt-ciass
| shingles together. 1t war my dOoty not
to frOw temptashun in his way.
"When Whalebone HoWker comes to
me an axes fur de loan of dollar be-
lieve him honest an truthful an, up
right, but | take his note fur thirty
days list the same. If didn't he might
be tempted to lie me outer it. 1t am
my dOoty to see dat he doan drap any
/ of his vartues by de Wayside."
II d0an' speck to find de truth 10 eV-
erybody. Idoan' 'speck to find all men
| honest. Some men kin shoulder about
| two of de cardinal vartures and WALK
frew life all right, but when you add
another yon am gwine to break to EN-
down. We grade our hosses into
draught, roadsters, family and speeders.
/ We doan' 'speck !; family boss to go out
an trot in 2.20, ,.r' we doan' 'speck ouI
speeders to pull coal carts. When II
comes to men we grade 7em all alike.
No matter what deir blood, Whar bon
or how brung up. We 'speck to find
'em all possessed of 'nuff Vartures to
carry 'em half way to heaben when dey
die, 1t am 'specktin' entirely too much
| While we may consider all men fairly
honest, we mustn't advertise 50 reward
for $50 lost yesterday an ,speck dc
| finder to hire street kyar in his hurry
to restore de lost cash. While we may
reasonably 'speck all men to speak dc
truth, we amt gwine to get rich outer
| cashin' check for strangers nor belleyln
what we read on de circus posters.
''Ize been turnin' de matter ober an
ober in my mind fur desc many vars
past, an | has come to de fixed cOnclu-
sion dat de right way am fur to regard
all men as straight but keep yer eye
lpeeled fur de defects. Let us now opeI
| on the thirty fifth degree and purceed
wild de purceedins."
/ Judge Sweetbrier Smith was ther
called from his resting place under the
bust of Cato the Presidents desk, anC
Brother Gardner remarked:
'Brudder Smith, / understan' dat yOr
believe no man has a right to be rlche1
dan his fellow"
"Y-yes, sah.n
"An' dat all property should be equal
| " divided"
"An' dat dar should be no taxashun
no laws an no courts"
"Dat's it, sab"
snow, Brudder Smith, / want Il
/ smoke to you. De man who holds tt
aich doctrines am either q knave WHIT
orter be in prison, or fule who Orte
be sent to the idiot asylum. kin ex
cuse you once, because you am poo an
unlearned, but If you dOan' drap den
ideahs afOre you get outer bed tO-mOr
rer dis club will drop you Dis yert
,, United States am gittin' to be an asy
lnm fur ebery rogue and rascal who an
driven from his own kentry, an de da!
am comm when men wild sich ideas a
YOU hev bin foolin' wild will seek t,
carry 'em out an bring about bloodshel
but doan' cOnf0und de Lime-K Kiln Clul
wild de United States. Dey am tw,
separate institushuns, run on entirel
different principles, an by two differen
presidents. De United States am viii
ling to receive de fules, demagOgueE
cOnspirators, knaves, assassins an mur
derers of all de outside world, but d
Lime-Kiln Club am bit pertikler VII
it takes in"
The Judge drew an awful long breat
, am returned to his bench, and it is saf
to conclude that he will speedily let g
of his socialistic ideas.