Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-12-03
THE TROUBLES OF A HACKMAN.
who vows That Hereafter No Crazy
Passengers Need Apply.

Ting-a-ling
"IIello !"
THAT the Central?"
Eyes"
"Give the White House, please"
white House, is that your"
"You are talking to the White House;
what is it2"
"Send Hisold Nobbs, the hackman, to
the Sisters Hospital Immediately"
can right"
fore last. The hack driver was dispatched
to the hospital, where he arrived to be
informed that there was woman at that
institution who was somewhat off her
mental base, that she was probably
Mormon, and that the Sisters wished her
removed to the Deseret Hospital, City
Hall, Courthouse or somewhere else.
While the hackman was receiving this
information the woman had been put
into his hack and he was directed to
drive off with her, much against his pro-
test, which was much more forcible than
elegant. He wanted to know what hos
ptal was for, anyway. However, he
was refused admittance; which seems q
little strange since the city seemed lately
to be in the woman business. The driver
next went to the county court house, but
the officers there were also obdurate, and
he was obliged to leave with his crazy
passenger. BY this time his Irish was
up. He wouldn't take her to the Deseret
Hospital because, as he thought, one
hospital was as good as another, and he
didn't see why she should not be
returned to the Sisters, particularly
as he didn't want his hack turned into an
insane asylum. So back he went to the
Sisters, with whom he left her for the
night. with the understanding that he
should call for her the next morning and
go with her to son she was said to have
working in downtown grocery store.
Next morning he put out for the hospital,
when again the woman was put in his
charge. He went to the store to which
he was directed, but Devil of son
could find" said he, "and begorra this
thing is getting altogether too monoto-
nous.' Back he drove to the hospital in
quick time, determined that something
should be done that would clear him OF
the woman OF unsound mind. He con-
sdered it no picnic to be driving
n crazy woman, whom nobody
wanted, about the city, as though
she were n California schoolma'am.
With look OF determined desperation in
his eye, he arrived once more at the
hospital, and there gave the Sisters, the
physicians and nurses to understand that,
by sheol, he was tired OF the whole affair.
After some consultation with the hospital
people, one OF the attending doctors
stepped up to him and gave him money
enough to buy the woman ticket to Des-
eret. Hisold hobbs, thinking that at last
the way had been opened up for him,
straightway drove to the depot, bought
the woman ticket for Deseret, and was
just putting her on the train, when the
conductor informed him that he could
not and would not take q non compos
mentis on board of his train.
This was the climax The hack driver
was now desperate beyond control-he
swore and tore around so badly that he
frightened the poor woman out of what
few wits she had left He was nearer
crazy than she. In this fearful crisis one
OF party OF miners, who had been in
the city on business for few days, came
up, and after asking the woman a few
questions about cooking, which she
answered intelligently, proposed to take
her with the mining party as cook. She
consented, and so did the hackman with
all his heart, and OF course the conductor
had no objections. Hisold hobbs now
swears by the moon that hereafter he
will give hospitals II wide berth.