davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24
Ma. MICH, WEDNESDAY,, JUNE "a, 1885.
senses to softly inquire if the cyclone
had left anybody else alive.

senses to softly inquire if the cyclone
had left anybody else alive.
A pair of events happened the
other day to astonish the Boss and
his cohorts. He was laying down
the law on evolution, and just aching
for somebody to dispute him, when a
stranger with venerable gray locks
and venerable white whiskers came
in for glass of beer. He listened
to the Boss for a moment, and then,
to the horror of the select circle pres
ent, he boldly challenged the correct
ness of each and all the assertions.
"Strangerl" said the Boss as he
rose up with an electric light of 400
candle power in each eye, "d'ye mean
to dispute me"
"Sartin l do !"
Actually dispute ?"
"Yes."
81 won't jam you through the floor,
l won'tp said the Boss in a voice
which wobbled with emotion, "nor l
won't send you home in the ambu-
lance, but"
"Thank your interrupted the old
man.
"But I'll head you for outdoors and
give you a short ride on the toe of my
boot to teach you manners"
With that he grabbed at the vener-
able whiskers with his right hand,
and clutched the venerable gray locks
with the other. Both pulled away,
and as he stood holding them in his
hands thunderbolt lodged in on his
nose. AS he went down he had a
dim conscious that the house was fall
ing in, and that the town of Bossville
had been swept away by tidal wave.
The stranger worked away at him
until tired out, and then drank his
lager, picked up his disguise, and left
the place with the remark:
"Some of you had better tell him
that he took an overdose of laughing
gas. 1t will sort O let him down
easy"
When the Boss finally opened his
eyes to ask what had happened they
tried the laughing-gas dodge on him,
but it was no go. He gathered his
punched head and bruised body into
a bundle and went out and sat down
on the commons and slowly figured it
all out by himself. The Boss had
been downed. Bossism was played
out.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24
Lookin' fer Bar.

They have bears in the west, says
the Merchant Traveller, that are hard
to subdue, and so they have need of
strong men-women. A settlers wife
of this class, on the outskirts Of civiiz-
alton, overhearing herself described S
"half human, half alligator" resent
ed it, and declared that she had "feel-
ms" but she was not this woman
the story-teller whom the hunter met.
A New Yorker on hunting expe-
dition in the far west, rode up to a
mountain cabin and hailed woman
hanging out clothes in the front yard.
"Good morning, madam" he called
on her.
"What yer lookin' fur? You must
be lost, er sumpin'," she replied.
Thanks, no; I'm hunter, and l
understood there were bear up in this
neighborhood, and could you give me
some points ?"
The woman dropped the white gar
ment in her hand, and came down to
the fence. "Hit's bar yer looking
fer, is it?" she inquired, craning her
thin neck forward in an eager way.
Exactly, madam" he answered,
Strengthening up in his stirrups.
swell, stranger, yer in the right
neighborhood. Thar's bar here in
plenty"
"Have you ever seen any~
81 shed say / he'd"
"Tell me where / can find a den.
I'm looking for dozen or so. I'm
not particular as to numbers"
"Oh, hain't yer? Thet's what my
ole man said, but he's changed his
min now, 1 reckon"
"Is he afraid of the brutes?"
mot now he haint."
"Tell me about it,"
swell, yer see one day me an the
ele man seen bar climbin' in the
hog pen, an he sed he'd just put an
end to that bar with club. l tole
him to git gun, but he sed bars wuz
no great shakes, nohow, an he'd go
with a club"
"And did he ?" inquired the hunter,
as the woman stopped talking.
81 reckon he did; / went in the
house an elm up to the roof, an
purity soon / hccrd mighty racket
out in the pen. After while it got
powerful still outside, an l clim down
ter see how it come out"
"Well," inquired the hunter, anx-
iously, "did he get the bear'"
"No, he didn't, the bar waz clear
gone"
"And your husband ?"
swell, the funeral tuck place next
day. Hits bar yer lookin' fur, is it :
Well, stranger, that same bar is
round here yit."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24
A Boss Mistake.

There is saloon out on Grand
River avenue which has long been
the headquarters of the Boss from
Bossvillc. Whatever he asserted in
politics, religion, social, science or
finance had to be accepted as Gospel,
or he would mash the dissenter. He
was fighter and hard hitter, and
most Of his victims came to their
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

A traveller through Arabia writes
that when Bedouin is asked to drink
his answer would frequently be, "No,
thanks 1 drank yesterday" In this
country the answer usually is: "Well,
I've been at it all the morning, but l
guess / can stand another. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

In a certain Arkansas dance house
and saloon there is a reversible motto
hanging against the wall. At the
opening of the festivities the motto
reads: "God Bless Our Home"
But as the evening wanes, and the
knives and pistols flourish in the air,
the proprietor fops the motto over,
and it reads; "What Will the Har-
vest BE ?"-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

A celebrated physician boasting at
dinner that he cured his own hams,
a guest observed: "Doctor, l am
glad to hear that you have cured
something. ."-Lynn Item.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

Blanche-"Yes, you do look hor-
ribly seedy, Auntie. I'm so glad
they've ordered you off to an EN-.
bracing climate" Auntie (who is
under twenty-one, and dying of love,
sobs out)-"I-I only wish they had,
Blanche. ."-London Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

Fashionable wife: "Did you no.
tice, dear, at the party last evening,
how grandly' our daughter Clara
swept into the room. Husband with
a grunD "Oh, yes, Clara can sweep
into a room grandly enough, but
when it comes to sweep out the room,
she isn't there. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

A little Boston boy being asked
why Lots wife was turned into a pill
lar of salt replied: Because she
was too fresh, l guess. Boston
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

Fond mother-"You are very sick,
my child 1 will send for DR.. Jones.
Daughter (quickly)-"Not DIR. Jones,
mother dear; he is engaged already y
The Rambler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

Ill regulated zeal for science may
have the most disastrous results
Only last week professor of anatomy
at a we'll known London hospital,
finding that the body on which he
had intended to hold post mortem
was lacking, cody took up surgical
knife and proceeded to open his class.
London Funny Folks.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

"Well, my young gentleman, how
would you like your hair cut H'-
"Oh, like papa's please; with little
round hole at the top."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

At the police court: Accused,
you are blindP" eyes, your honor"
"You are charged with vagrancy.
How did you become blind ?" "By
a fit of apoplexy." "Why, then,
this picture on your breast represent
ing an explosion in mine, in which
you lost your sight?" "Please, your
honor, because to represent apoplexy
painting is powerless. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

The Gods have curse for him who
willingly tells another the wrong
road.--Georgs Eliot.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

II can't account for the small at
tendance at church on Sundays" re-
marked Parson Jones. "Neither can
l." replied Fogg with his customary
frankness; "I went a few Sundays
ago, and / couldn't see anything to
attract the small attendance 1 saw
there. Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24
AYERS =
Cherry Pectoral.

No other complaints are 20 insidious In theis
attack rs those affecting the throat and lungsI
none so trlncd with by the majority Of suffer
ers. The ordinary cough or cold, resulting
perhaps from trining or unconscious q.
posurc, IL often but the beginning Of . fatal
sickness. AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL has
well proven Its efficacy in forty years. nght
with throat and lung diseases, and should bs
taken in all cases without delay.
A Terrible Cough Cured.
ain 1857 took severe cold, which affected
my lungs. had q terrible cough, and passed
night after night without sleep. Tho doctors
gave mo up. / tried Ayers CnERRy Pee
ToRAL, which relieved my lungs, induced
sleep, and afforded me the rest necessary
for the recovery Of my strength. by the
continued use OF the PICTORIAL q perma-
ncnt cure was effected. / am now 81 years
old, hale and hearty, and am satisned your
CHERRY PEcToRAL saved me.
HORACE FAIRbRoTHKn."
Rockingham, W., July Is, 1852.
Group. "A Mothers Tribute.
"while In the country last winter my little
boy, three years old, was taken III with Group;
II seemed as II he would die from strangu-
lation. Ono Of the family suggested the use
OF AYERS CHERRY PKcToRAL, q bottle Of
which was always kept in the house. This
was tficu III small and frequent doses, ana
TO our delight In less than half an hour the
little patient was breathing easily. The doe
tor said that the CHERRY PICTORIAL had
saved my darling's life. Can you wonder ~
our gratitude? Sincerely yours,
MRs. EMMA GrprEy."
159 West i2sth St., New York, May 16, 1857.
"I have used AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL
IN my family for several years, and do not
hesitate TO pronounce IL the most efeetual
remedy for coughs and colds we have ever
tried. A. j. CRArK"
Lake Crystal, Minn., March Is, 1854.
"I suffered for eight years from BronchitIs,
and after trying many remedies with no sue
cess, was cured by the use OF ArEn's CHER-
nv PICTORIAL. JosEPH WALDEN
Byhalia, Miss, April s, 1852.
"I cannot say enough in praise Of AvKR's
CHERRY PICTORIAL, believing ~ i do that
but for Its use should long since have died
from lung troubles. II. BnAoDoN."
Palestine, Texas, April "a, 1852.
No case Of an affection Of the throat or
lungs exists which cannot be greatly relieved
by the use Of AyER's CHERRx PrcronAL.
and it win ai,eavs cure whom the disease u
mot already beyond the control Of medicine.
rRrrAREp NJ
DrJ.c.Aysr& Co., Lowell, Mass.
selA ~ an ppsyisW.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

The silent watches of the night
those not wound up.-Philadelphia
Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

The favorite tool of the printer il
the adze.-Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

When the devil pays his debts, does
he sheol outi-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

The coat tail Irritation is the latest.
A wrinkled coat tail, bearing the
dusty toe marks, means II have
spoken to your father
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

"See here" said an angry citizen
to quack doctor, "that wonderful
discovery of yours for preserving the
scalp is a fraud" "Why sof"-
Look at that" he went on, remov-
ing his hat, "sincc using it have
lost all my hair" "Oh, it doesn't
pretend to preserve the hair" re-
piled the doctor, "only the scalp.
You've got your scalp left. You
mustn't expect too much of medical
! science.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

81 think they had better let the
old bible alone" said E. "That's
what you have been doing for years, y
said S.-Boston Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

A little girl has solved the botanical
problem why flowers are armed with
pistils. 1t is to shoot off their per-
fume with.-Lowell Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

Architect (to rich manufacturer
whose rival, Smith, having built him
self country house, determines to
have one also)-"Well, Mr.. Jones,
what prospect would you like your
new house to havc2" Mr.. Jones
Prospect! Prospect What sort Of
prospect has Mr.. Smiths got9" Ar
chitect-"Oh, his has a south pros.
pect." Jones-"Ah, well, give me
two of them" London Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

An Independent Newspaper Of Dem
'cratic Principles, but not Controlled b
my Set Of Politicians or ManipuIatos
Devoted to Collecting and Publishing al
he News Of the Day in the most Inter
sting Shape and with the greatest pos
ibIe Pwmptness, Accuracy and Impair
iaIity; and to the Promotion Of Demo
ratio Ideas and Policy in the affairs .
government. Society and Industry.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24
WIT AND HUMOR.

The erocus and the daffodil
Do now appear in sight
While the two lips in the parlor bloom
On every Sunday night.
Marathon Independent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24
Advertising Eates.

:, business Cards, one year. one dollar for svery
Local Hotioss ton cents per line for each inser-
tior.
Prices and Terms alike to all.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24
MICHIGAN CENTRAI

The Niagara Falls Romte.
Arrival and departure of trains noted below
follows:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-24

Rates, BY Mall, Postpaid
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30


were found to have been shot, in tifo
or three cases fatally. Forty OF the
communists were arrested, and NE
wounded conveyed to the hospital.
Co., The funeral services oversize res
mains Of Mr. Frederick 7. Frelinghuy-
sen, ex-Secretary OF State, were held at
his late residence in Newark, N. J.,
Saturday. Representatives OF old and
wealthy families called at the house,
No. IS Park place, during the fore
noon, to look upon the face of the
dead statesman, but the public were
not given an opportunity TO view the
zemains. The mahogany casket was
placed in the southeast parlor, in front
of the fireplace. On the fine mantel
were vases filed with bouquets of
white roses, and these were hanked by
two silver candlesticks, each holding
three wax candles.
A special to the Nashville Banner
from Franklin, Kentucky, dated the
18th, says, 4At midnight last night one
hundred armed, masked and mounted
men appeared at the front and rear of
the Jail, and demanded that the jailor
surrender Wesley Hicks and Jerry
Taylor, who were confined on the
charge of burning the barn and resi-
dence of. Mr.. Wheeler. The mob se-
cured the prisoners and took them
into the Jail yard, where Hicks begged
piteously that his life should be spared.
His entreaties were disregarded, and
the two men were placed ON horses
and taken toward Mitchellville. Ar
irving in the vicinity of the latter
place, ropes were placed around the
necks of Hicks and Taylor, and the
two were left suspended to trees"
Private letters from Posen and ST.
lesia describe the present expulsion by
Germany, at Russia's request, of Rus
sian Poles from those provinces as be-
ing attended by the most cruel and
heartrending incidents. Many of the
Poles who are now being driven out
have been settlers in German territory
for many years and have thoroughly
identified themselves with local inter-
ests. Most of them went to Posen and
Silesia to escape from intolerable des-
potism at home. The DEGREES of ex-
pulsion issued by Herr Won Puttka-
mer, German Minister of the Interior,
affects about 10000 Poles resident in
Germany. Eight thousand OF these
have already been arrested without
warming and conducted to the German
frontier by Prussian troops.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

some crossroads statesman who
lives in Moore county in this State has
written a letter to the American con-
corning the politics of that section.
Moore county is hid off somewhere
in the hills, as far from railroad or
other evidence of civilization AS it is
practical for Tennessee county to be.
The Americans correspondent writes
TO tell how sound is the Democracy OF
Moore and how the Democrats up
there are losing sleep for the want of
Il railroad commission and registra-
ton law. Considering how much these
measures would be likely to effect
Moore county, we are constrained to
inquire what agitates her perturbed
denizens. II Memphis and Nashville
should raise howl for laws of this
nature there could he some account
ing for the craze, but the anxiety of
the Moore countians is beyond us.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

THE city editor of our esteemed con-
temporary across the street has been
to read the composition of
some sweet girl graduate, prepared
for the coming commandments season,
and appropriated therefrom that @scur-
rying snow = fakes" thistle down"
uninterrupted dandelion" local which
in Tuesdays paper. There
is no use for him to deny the charge.
The thing has got the mark on it.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

The Democrat misrepresents the
CHRoSIcLE when il says this paper
kicks against the sppointrnent Of stills
man because Of his utilization with any
faction. We don't object to the APP
pointment OF Gregg to- similar Office
and he was the lowest OF low-taxers, as
well as railroad regulator. We ac-
knowledge that he is an honest, able
man and we think the appointment
good. If the truth must be told we
dislike Hillsman because he is man
who can't get credit for twenty-five
cents where he is known, a machine
banner, and not personally fit for
Office. Was it the ecstasy of overjoy
that kept the Democrat silent ON the
McCorry appointment?
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

REGISTRATION bills have been intro
duced into both the Senate and House
and passed first reading in both bodies.
The Republicans refused TO vote and
will probably repeat the revolutionary
tactics they adopted at the regular ses-
sion, if the thing is forced ON them
Such action will be every way mex
cusable in the Republicans, but more
important legislation must not be
for the sake of this purely
political measure.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

OUR esteemed contemporaries, the
Union and the Banner, are respectful
~ informed that the chickering's in
which they indulge are nauseating to
the general public and do neither pa
per any good. The Banner and the
Union occupy about the same field in
politics, and it seems that a mutual
interest in that direction would make
them pull together. The people of
Tennessee are not particularly inter
ested in either Col. Colyar or Mr..
Lands, and it is matter of no public
concern, whatever, that these two gen
tlemen have failed to fall in love. As
journalists they have no right to inflict
the public with an exhibition OF their
private spiteS. Aside from this feature
both the Banner and Union are good
papers
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

The appointment of Hon r. M. t.
Hunter, OF Virginia, 10 an insignificant
Office which he needed to make mea-
gre support in his old age, is SAD
commentary on the life of an honest
politician. If Mr.. Hunter had UNI
derstood the modern art of connect,
ing craftsmanship and money-getting,
like Jim Blaine. for instance, he would
not be left in his old age to beg for
this pitiful position.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30
The New York Tobacco Market.

We clip the following from the New
York Tobacco Leaf of May %:
Western Leaf-There has been some
activity in this market the past week.
as is indicated 10y the fact that sales OF
425 hogsheads are reported, which is
only part of the story 10 be included
at the close of the month. Purchases
of Burnley both for local and export ac-
count have been mad bat many, like
Micawber, are waitin. iOr something
to turn up.
A GAINESVILLE communication says
rain is greatly needed in that district.
There have been light showers OF late,
but not enough for Il planting season.
THE ITALIAN CONTRACT.
AS we predicted, this contract was
awarded about the middle of May, or
on Saturday last, and, as everybody
supposed it would be, to different par
ties, though all are, as usual. the old
familiar trusty ones. They have the
inside track, and both know how and
deserve to keep it-of course we need
notname Mr.. c. Reusens, T"el d Wip-
perling or NJ Abenheim 4 Gu. in this
connection, as by virtue of the prestige
of those gentlemen it is inierable with
out mention who are favored by the
old Reggie.
Italy is now following the practice
of France of separating lots and APP
portioning the purchases to different
buyers, hence the different successful
Richards in the field.
As we write it is supposed the Vir-
ginnia and Maryladd contracts have
not been adjudicated, bidders being
above the maximum of the Govern
ment. For Ohio the lucky bidder Is
believed to be Mr. Lowenthal.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

THE appointment of Judge McCor-
~, of Jackson, as District Attorney for
West Tennessee would seem TO indi-
cate that the "Bayardic influence" was
not so badly broken up as the Nash
vile organ had jumped to conclude.
McCrory WAS Senator Jackson's candi-
date while Senator Harris urged the
appointment of Mr.. J. +. r. Ray, Of
Memphis. Both are excellent gentle
men. We would, for personal reasons,
have preferred Mr., Ray, but McCrory's
appointment is proof that Senator
Harris has not become the sole dis
peuser of Tennessee patronage.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

THAT the President is not recognize
ing any faction in Tennessee politics
is clear, and we commend his action
in that regard. His appointments
should Toe in no way influenced by the
position the candidate took on the
State debt or the railroad commission
questions. The appointment OF Hills
man was mistake, because Hillsman
was not personally tit for the office.
He is man who has no business
standing in the town where he lives
and ought not to he entrusted with
the business of the Government. We
hope his appointment will not be con-
firmed.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-05-30

THE Cincinnati Enquirer has OPEN
ed its batteries with renewed vehe-
mence on the administration. The
attack is made in the knitting fashion
peculiar to Johnny Mclean. A lying
Washington correspondents manufac-
lures prominent Democrats out of
straw who complain of the President,
and this is helped along by an editori-
al which assumes that the facts are not
quite so black as painted aud expresses
the faint hope that all may yet be well.