The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-12-25
A Philosophical Printer.

cts all the dumbdest kind O. fool
ishest nonscns'," said "Whiskers,"
otherwise known in the composing
room as Slug 10, can I'm sick o'lt."
what is it?" inquired the "make
up" sweeping Il pile of foot slugs and
quoins from the surface OF the impos-
ing stone into the drawer beneath.
Chats what it is" continued Whis-
kers ambiguously, knocking the ashes
from his clay pipe on his boot heel.
"Well, what is it," persisted the
make up, "slicing" afour-column ad.
into the form.
"Why, all this slushy chat about
success iii life bcin' the result OF pure
devotion to ones perfesh. It's all
CUFF. Big lum tum roosters what has
made their lucky, an' hasn't got any
furder to go to crafty ambition; men
who thinks their mighty bitf-who've
got thar in great shape-they don't
cling to their perfession no closer'n
poor folks. They're just as likely to
stuff %an'enjoy themselves IN a pecoo-
liar an eccentric style as any o. us
ducks. It's been so ever senst
Horace Greeley's day, an knowed
him an held cases on the Tribune
when Horace wasthe palmiest. Hor-
ace was q great editur; mine you |
don't say a word agin his edith, even
If his stuff was hard to read-always
allowed me ten cents extra to set It
but it wasn't the ambition OF his life
fo In n .f,,.no{ nli+,,, ,.,., - ,,N,,o1p
well, We'll play it was, go on"
said Slug 10.
"Play nuthin.' I say it wasn't.
But Horace got thar, didn'the? He
took the cake, didn't he? Didn't he
now, hones'?"
go III, Whiskers; you have got
thirty minutes before it's time to
take copy" said the foreman.
Eyes, Horace made the rifle. He
got to be the biggest editur in thelan',
in his day. And then what does Hor-
ace do? What did he turn his at
tention to? Cabbages! Horace
wasn't satisfied with benz something
he conld be boss in, but he must 20
tiddlin' aroun' with something he
didn't knownothin' about an'couldn't
handle, an the ~consequens was,
whereas he could make big money
rurnin' n newspaper, his cabbages
cost him S1.SS q head. Bah!
"Ihen thar's Dana Charles A. Dana.
He knows how to conduct q news
paper, but he amt satisfied in that
way, not by a durn sight. His hobby
is hens. He thinks his forte is runin'
a hen house, an the c~onsequens is she's
got chickens scattered all over Long
Island and Jersey shore. That's his
forte, he thinks, hens is. BAH | be-
lieve in a shoemaker n sticken' to his
last.
''Thcn there's Observation-Disclosures,
ex-President, touched the top rung OF
the ladder afore heQuit; he's got the
hen fever, too. He amt satisfied
with political glory, but hemustt try an
cross those poultry breeds as God
never interded they should be crossed.
Waugh! Don't talk to me.
can there's Bonner, another old
print. Me an him worked together in
the same alley, onct. He's a good
chunk OF a journalist but he don't
know it. Bonner thinks he's q boss
Jockey. He's stuck on fast stock. He
isn't satisfied to run in the same rut
natur intended for him to run in"
Look at ex-President Arthur. Why,
that man would leave the White
House door wide open an go off fish
In. ulster to do that when | was a
kid, but never did so after | adopted
the printin' perfession. Pm true to
my calm an chew me ef I'd leave
the White House fodder to rassel nv
grub in Il muskceter swamp like a
country pickniciler. It's altogether
too lowerm' to the individual an it
stultifys ones appetite. Any chump
can go tishin'. Humph!
"Then thar's JAY Gould. He is SO
rich hecan hear theinterest comin'in O.
nights, just a ridin' in like dead mat
ter rattlin' into your cases when you're
dlstributin'. Hedoesn'tknow, though,
what he'scut out for, Jay doesn't, but
he goes monkeyin' aroun' flowers and
hot houses, smellin' o. geraniums,
oleanders, pinks, Gala lilies an SIGH.
Never satisfied with his profession as
a boss financ!er. It's the way O. the
world, though. Slug 10, glveusachaw
o'that plug O. terbacco l see stickin'
out yer bootleg"