The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-04-04
GLORY.
job Lot of the Article for Sale by AN
Alleged Humorist.

EAAeStU
Did you ever look forward to some
feat end you hoped to accomplish and
FL good from the soles of your boots to
te crown of your hat;in thinking about
It When L was boy, the school
nster was the greatest man in Chris
tedom, in my estimation. | can re-
mmber how, when the Christening rod
Ws laid upon me, l wished might one
d5 become a pedagogue. although l
iii not call it by that name.
a few years later found myself oc-
cpying that enviable position in life. |
/ find no pleasure in logging the little
flows, and was afraid of those much
lsger grown, flogging whom would
hge given me much pleasure had it not
ben for an underlined fear that trouble
night result and perhaps the blood of
at adult innocent be shed. / never
VI quite sure who might be the shedee;
SC to avoid accidents, L endeavored to
indicate peace.
alter, got hold of copy of Black
stae and my mind began to follow the
bet of the law My highest ambition
ws to stand at the bar of justice and
wi the plaudits of the multitude
byny expatiations on Hale, Chitty,
Grenleaf, Cooley, billiard, and
.othr celebrated humorists of that
Three years later, / stood with
and on my heart and my mind
lg-riot among pyecedents, trying
W convince a justice of the peace that a
client of mine was innocent of any
wrongful intent in riding a horse be-
longing to neighbor to st. Louis, and
then and there selling him for half his
value. maintained that he sold the
horse while laboring under a fit of tenn
porary insanity, and that since recover
ing his mental equipoise he regretted
the act very much, and as a proof of
his good faith in that behalf, now stood
ready to pay over all the money he re-
ceived for the animal The justice was
was a very unreasonable and strong
minded old skinflint, however, and
bound my client over to court in the
penal sum. of $1,000. As a result, l
was obliged to try my case in a higher
court, and through some of my mad
yertences he got into the peniten-
tiary for eleven years. Soon af-
forwards, l received u handsomely
engrossed series of resolutions from the
anti-Horse Thief Association, thanking
me kindly for my eminent service in be-
half of the principles it advocated. As
] had exerted myself considerably to get
the thief out of the scrape, failed to
properly appreciate the honor done me
and moved to another town, where
soon had good practice and won more
fame than | knew what to do with By
dint of persistent effort | lied myself
into a respectable income, but the hon
ors of legal triumph palled upon my
appetite, and my soul went ont into the
great pasture of literature and browsed
there for a time. / found it uphill
work. Publishers and editors were not
particularly complimentary to me, and
my manuscripts came back to me to
roost. The ignorance and want of APP
preciatiol of literary people made me
mad, anC started paper to raise the
STANDARD of literary work. The stand
lard arose rapidly for time, but one
kdF discovered that nv axle grease was
hfhausted, and another newspaper
3Orpse lay cold and still in the literary
! ~Jne-yard. ] then came to the conclu-
sion that it might be a good idea to raise
my own standard of ability little, and
went to work like a hired man at din
rer. The fancy press notices which had
been accorded me seemed ironical in
the extreme as | progressed. One pa
per had DerSiStentlV praised me and
the more learned the more / knew its
editor had been poking fun at me,
Time rolled on and so did l. To-day |
find that some half a dozen people out
side my native village have heard of
me, and | know am getting there. If
can keep up the same stroke until the
first Sunday in the month after Gabriel
blows his fog horn, perhaps the fame
for which l SO hungered in my younger
days will be sung from shore to shore;
but at present fame is a little too unsub-
stantial an article of diet to cover the
numerous drains upon my system, and
am yearning for dollars.
II there is any young man who thirsts
for Slory-I have reason to believe there
is one somewhere shall be pleased to
exchange good sized chunk of it for a
sack of flour, if he will send his name
and address with the flour to my resi-
dence. | have q pretty well selected
stock of well-seasoned glory on hand,
and shall be pleased to correspond with
parties who would like to buy it in iot
lots.-F. b. HuddIe, in NJ Y. Mercury.