Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-08-01

hatred OF shams We've got TO be shams in :,
religion, like every thing else. 4 once asked q
said It was TO make them look more like the
real ones. Good Lord, have mercy on us, ?
and stop us from plugging our religious false Il
teeth. There is not one man or woman in
but Is sham. i want every one
in the house who is genuine through and e
through To stand up in the audience. Five 4
men and two women rose Lord, we have
here two thousand shams. The Lord knows I
that never since I've had religion I've had {
one dollar in money or one drop of blood I
that was too good for God. Christ is all the
world 10 me.
What is tho matter with us all at this
meetingf Nothing is going on. I've not
been so much troubled for years as l have
been In tho last twenty hours. / tell
you, brethren, you have beon preach
Ing against drinking aud lying and stealing,
but that's not what Is the matter with the
church. It's worldliness that makes the
people so cold. It's not the thief nor the
drunkard nor cheesemonger that is doing
harm. There are Methodists who play pro-
gressive euchre, and have more respect for
anigger than for them Girls go TO dances
and let spider-legged dudes hug them around
the waist. j wouldn't let ono of them put
his arm around my cook If she did, I'd
hug them. It's the devils girls who do.
NOT ILL-BRED, BUT PLAIN-sPoK EN-.
They talk about me being ill-bred and ILL
literate. 1t amt So Tm not ill-bred, and |
IL you go home with me I'll prove 1t TO |
you. III you believe I'm ignorant I'll go be- |
fore committee and I'll show I'm not by |
being examined with you. / know I'm crit |
iciscd by newspapers and others, but IL
you'll read the newspapers you'll see what
| makes me this way. Look at the rapes and
seductions and murders Some say we
| ought to talk about the nice side OF things
nice preacher is the incest thing in the
| world, but no amt fit for nothing. You
women think ain nice, but your husband
| drinks till he's like a demIjonn. You can
| run your arm through that demijohn and go
to church with him, but preacher must he
| delicate, or he'll offend you. ! ought to be
| dignified, and will az soon as / die. dead
| man IL the most dignified thing in the world.
| He don't make any noise or disturb any
| body he Just lies still. But how can i be
digniGed in life, with boys falling and girls
| losing their characters, and all the world go
ing hellward tried being dgnified once,
and il you knew how felt you would have
been sorry for me. There's woman over
there turning up her nose at me. j don't
know what's the matter with you Kentucky
| women. like you yes, do married
Kentucky girl, and she was just rs sweet
| aud pretty, seventeen years ago, as you are.
II she can put up with me for seventeen
| years of happy wedlock, you ought TO stand
me during campmeeting l know blg
revival ain't the best thing in the
world, and / never said il was Re
| ligion at home is better where the man
can take his wife by the hand, and the Oldest
child that OF the next, and all go To heaven
together. | said yesterdaya man who didn't
| pray in his family had no more religion than
a goat. Some preachers don't agree with me,
T but if had as many miserable backslider
1 | members as they have I'd agree to anything
7 | sister says that can't do, for her father
I | didn't pray in the family and he was the best
, | man that ever lived. Lord, sister, dom
bring in any graveyard business on me; 1
? | can't argue with dead folks, and never say
i | anything mean about 'em. Trot out live,
Y | ipk inu and I'll talk ia him.
4 Some give as reason they don't pray y
D because they don't enjoy religion. NOW, ]
? | heard of a woman once who enjoyed poor
u | health and If she could do that, think you
It might enjoy anything. The grandest sight
@ | on earth is whole family linked together
!, by prayer, and there amt anything much
:, better in heaven. j once knew brother
II ! who had his new house dedicated to God be
n | fore he moved into il. He said 1t was grea
- thing, and saved him any amount of trou
). | BILE nobody wanted TO play cards there, OF
q | asked him to give little parties or entertain
1 ments What a glorious thing 1t would D'
y | for Kentucky If every house in II wa
y | dedicated to God. There wouldn't b'
'r | hole for progressive euchre to hide its head
| There amt any place in the world so siciS'
st as a home where little children are growing
n up to eternity
~ DOWN ON DAHCINa.
,r If ever / have a house il shall he dedicated
20 before move i'm it, and there'll never be an.
er little entertainments, or cards, or dancing
u | there May he you think that would be har'
:, ~ on my children. Bless you, they don't hav
20 to 90 to entertainments Tor their fun, and yo
y, can't find five little fellows any where tina
have finer time than Sam Jones'. They'r
in fun up to all put little bit of their hea
and ears ; they can get fun out of anything
III and take it like their father-dry, just sc
ID | Down in Georgia no intelligent person vii
y dance; / don't know how it is in Ken
a lucky. 1t depends upon the crowd before me
I . | never went out OF a ballroom i'll my lif
AT that ] didn't come away feeling mean an
y, | belittled. If had a daughter that couldn'
q, do anything but dance, I'd have 10 train he
rs | up in it, reckon then I'd marry her off an
a give her little piece OF land somewhere
away OF from the railroad, where sh
rs couldn't come back to bother me much. Thinl
" | Of a member of the Methodist church sendin
III her children to dancing school. If yo
were in my church I'd turn you out in
\ minute. If there's being on earth detes
VIZ | and despise, it's hook-nosed dancing-ma'
ter. You may send you children tohiIn, an
you don't know that he's been out of tn
n chain gang three months. read of one sue
a in the paper the other day. oh, I've got
or profound contempt for dancing-masters, an
20 all who believe in 'em! All who agree wit
IT. me say amen.
Up IA member spoke up, and the preache
W turned to the reporters and said:
US want you TO get all those amens down.
d. i despise all dancing masters The.
Id ought to go to Florida and raise oranges, So
@. they could hang on the limbs with thei
~ / HOSES pick WIN Doth
IL Thank God, I've broke up many dancint
a school, and usually give 'em warning
1t when l come i'll town. 1t generally take
I'd me Just thirty-six hours to clean 'em out. A
re Knoxville one got religion and Joined tn
In church l liked him then. You Kentuck.
ar people are great dancers. Some Presbyte
AZ rians and other church members say it's no
p against their rules. Listen, Baptists, MethO
II dsts, Episcopalians, Presbyterians, Campbell
n, ltes and Catholics-I believe that's all tn
b, kinds here. Whenever you say that l wan
l. you to know you are telling great black lie
All churches have declared against il
Maybe your pastor or your congregation
,e don't. I'd get out of the little rotten thing
q Some of you may not like this. A drunkarC
D. don't like to have his jug broke, and I'm
D. breaking jugs now. It's when i break you
" | jug that you get mad That's all right, i
% you'll get mad enough TO pray.
a I've talked nearly an hour, and if YOU'RE
a. tired get up and leave. You can go TO thu
,a | spring, or for lemonade, or to look at thu
10 high bridge. You had better go, for, like a
81 not, I'll preach till 2 o'clock.
10 Right around Lexington is some of the
fairest ground man ever looked on but Goo
S gets less rent out of it than for some of the
poorest hills of Georgia Some men here
)f | own 500 acres of blue grass and don't pay
! God ten cents an acre. He'll pay himsel
;, | after while. Like as not he'll take forty
1t bushels an acre to make up Tor what He has
g | lost. When a drought comes, you are get
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