Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1885-06-25
A Little Large In the Neck.

Spoopendyke, rolling over laziiy in |
bed. 81 wish you would take the |
studs and cuff buttons out of the |
shirt wore yesterday and put them {
in clean one for me-"
"Of course l will, you poor, dear
tired man," said Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"As if there were anything l wouldn't
do for you" And she dove to the
bottom of the bottom drawer and
fished out shirt that he had careful
ly slowed away under all the rest be-
cause he didn't have collar to fit it.
Then she adjusted the studs and
sleeve buttons, and the fore-and aft
collar buttons, and laid it across the
back of chair.
81 sometimes wonder how / nsed
to get along as bachelor said
Mr.. Spoopendyke, as he pulled on
the shirt. ''Do you know, my dear,
my daily life was made miserable by
my shirts? But now" And he
kissed bis wife affectionately, while
she beamed with delight and hustled
around to get everything in readiness
so that he might have to ask for moth
ing.
Mr.. Spoopendyke washed and ar
ranged himself until he came to the
collar part of the business, and then
he hesitated.
"Where'd you find this shirt, any
way?" he asked, stretching his neck
and glaring at himself in the glass.
''How far'd you have to 60 to wrench
this garment from o5scurity, eh?
What have you done to the neck of
this shirt, anyhow? 1 haven't got
collar that'll go hathaway round the
dasted thing
Mrs. Spoopendyke fluttered up and
examined the shirt in front, and then
looked at the back, and finally thrust
her hand between the band and the
neck of her liege.
II see what it is" she said, "you
haven't pulled it down far enough" I"
"Pulled it down! Pull it down!
Where do you think this collar goes
on, Mrs. Spoopendyke, around the
waist? Maybe you think 1 wear a
collar for liver pad! Where'd you
find this shirt, anyway" he asked,
stretching his neck and glaring at
himself in the glass. "How far'd
you have to 60 wrench this garment
from obscurity, eh? What have you
done to the neck of this shirt, any
how? haven't got collar that'll
go halfway round the dasted thing"
Mrs. Spoopendyke fluttered up and
examined the shirt in front, and then
looked at the back, and finally thrust
her hand between the band and the
neck of her leige.
81 see what it is," she said, 'tyou
haven't pulled it down far enough. y
''Pulled it down! Pulled it down
Where do you think this collar goes
on, Mrs. Spoopendyke, around the
waist? Maybe you think wear 8
collar for liver pad! Where'd you
get it? Where'd you find it?"
II found it in the drawer with the
rest of your shirts, my dear. There's
nothing the matter with it." And
she patted the band on both sides ol
the neck, and then gave it gentle
tug in front. There" she contin
ued, smiling through her anxiety
''now it's all right"
"Oh, yes" returned Mr.. Spoopen'
dyke, with a fearfully sardonic laugh
"Of course, it's all right. ALI you'v'
got to do is to grin at anything, ani
that makes it all right. Look at it
will youe Just look at it. Dom
you see the collar won't meet by I
foot and half ? Grin at it one
more, Mrs. Spoopendyke; just gril
at it. It'll come all right; just grin
grin, will yer
"Perhaps it's shrunk," said Mrs
Spoopendyke, stroking the band ten
derly and looking at it with statist
ical eye, as if calculating how mucI
the shrinking might have affected it
ssThat's what it is" returned Mr.
: Spoopendyke, snow you've struck il
4 It's shrunk. When it was new
nearly choked me, now it's shrun
r out like barrel hoop. I'm going t
q hire you out for a telescope, Mrs
Spoopendyke; you can see turtle
and see more than a minister's wifi
at a sewing society. Oh! it's shrun
that's all; it's shrunk! Now, 20
pull on one side, and l will on th
8 other, and we'll stretch it back smal
er. Get hold and pull, will ye! 1t
d only shrunk!"
d "Let me put stitch in it, SUI
r gested Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"Put a stitch in it! 1t don't wal
S anything more in it, l tell ye. 1t
u got too much in it. What dye thin
this thing is, anyhow? a bedqull
eh? Well, it's shirt, from IL
l. shoulders down, and it's dozen an
IS half shirts from the shoulders VI
b Wher'd We get it, anyway! WI
S told you this was the shirt wanted
II Ever hear me say anything about th
it shirt? Ever hear me allude to th
4. shirt"
# "Well, I thought
T. Undoubtedly, Mrs. Spoopendyk
,e unouestionably You thought! Thai