Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-17
BRIGHT BITS.

A MAN in Osceola, Mich, has three daugh-
tiers, all of whom are mutes He is probably
the champion dumb belle raiser of the world.
-BfpghdmtO7l Republican,.
1T was the summer concert Thomas cat who
remarked, IF can sing the midnight songs
for the people, do not care who gets the APP
plause. "-Oincinnatj Commercial Gazette.
FARGO, in Dakota, has all along supposed
that she had 1000 population, but a census
taken by the police fails to show quite 10000.
How 1000 people slipped out of town inside of
two days is what bothers those who didn't go.
Detroit Free Press.
The late lamented Col Jack Wharton gave
good advice to the manager of Virginia
springs-seasonable just now for Sharon.
Saratoga and Richfield-to "go Less on the
analysis of the water. and more on the merits
OF the bar and table if he wanted patronage.
-Iemperdnce Ad0Ocdte.
BOY, while riding on horseback in a town
IN Idaho, during a storm, was struck by
lightning. He was stripped of all his clothes,
but sustained no injuries This is not the brand
OF lightning for which the parents of this
country are yerrning. What is wanted is a
thunderbOt that will put the clothes on a boy
in the morning when he is called to breakfast.
-NOrTiStOLO71 HerdJd.
'Now you tell me l have a fair memory, a
great capacity for learning languages, a large
bump of Yeneration. and a well developed
head generally" You have" said the phre-
nologlst rs there anything" asked the man
joy, that my head needs to make it absolute
ly perfectY' Yes "What is it. pray?D
asked the man. "a shampoo. "-Puck.
A NEW CoNUNDRUM.-
"Pray tell to me the difference, dear"
said Edward to his lass,
'There IS between a store cashier
And the teacher of a class?"
The damsel, smiling, said, 81 Will;
This difference you VIII find:
The store cashier he minds the till:
The teacher tillS the mind
Boston Courier.
"THoMAs, you have displeased your grand
father"
'No didn't, ma"
eyes you did. Have you not been in SWIM
ming?"
Eyes, ma"
Didn't hear him say to you not to go in
swimming?"
out ana said: Boys, ! wouldn't go IN swim
ming and / shouldn't think he would, an old
rheumaticky man like him; but he didn't say
nothin' about our going in swimming, ''-TeedS
6Utings.
WE stood in the Park one day,
Jack belong and l,
Watching the cavalcade
Trot and canter by.
was in love with Maud
Blue eyes and auburn hair
While ack would give all he owned
For Tom Fosters chestnut mare.
''The beauty! There she goes"
SAID Jack. My heart beat high
Thinking of Maud. said he,
what flank what a fiery eyep
/ turned and hit him square
In the mouth, like an ass, of coursA
For l was thinking girl,
And Jack was talking horse.
The Judge.
THE SMITH FAMILY
OF all the ancient families that dwell upon
the earth
The most antique. II not unique, is that which
gave ms birth;
For on Egyptian Obelisk and Grecian monolith
You'll find enrolled, IN letters bold, the hon
Ored name of Smith.
We're scattered all around the globe, by
dozens and by scores.
In every cline, sine dawn of time, have
dwelt our ancestors,
From Arctic eeas TO tropic lands, we've lots Of
kin and kith,
No list elite. is quite complete. without the
name of smith.
We're found in every business, we study each
profession;
In every art we take part, on science make
impression;
For boring in the tree of life, and getting out
the pith,
No mortal can excel the man who bears the
name of Smith.
The Jones' and Browns, tits true, a goody
showing make;
But your agree our family from them can
"take the cake
Yet, should you chance to doubt the fact and
reckon il myth,
Just look In the directory and find the name
OF smith. life.