Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-10-29
Minneapolis Letter .

that every number has been sold,
Minneapolis Letter.
Editor CLARION.
No doubt you and your readers would
like q rest, for some you must be tired lis
tcnng to accounts of things happening so
far from home, but when anything occurs
like that in our town last week, We feel that
the outside world and home readers of THE
CLARION should know of it even at the en-
pense ofa little time and patience. 1t was
sprung upon US ikea steel trap, and like that
same trap it holds fast from lNSc. TO come
right out and tell YOU all about it in five or
six lines would be far more injurious than to
stop right here, or not to nave begun at all.
Just as we were about to look for Il 30 ct.pr~
wk cheaper boarding house, and subscribe
for tie "Poscy County Eindcato:' this
thing WAS nnnounccl and in our minds eye
we saw a pile of squandercd dimes, high as
the new Washington Monument, One can't
keep Il good resolution 10 hours in this coun-
NV. W Z Htt ulohN IHN'N w ''i 'i''i''' ~
have rev braid put on our ovcrcoat TINT YVES
ripe three years ago, and also to get us
nice pair of ear muiis, but now we must give
it ND asa thing not TO be attained. Guess
we can put some shoe llackning ON the
braid and PAINT our ears red. Some Of You
have stopped on Bal'imoyc-st., 10 look at
the pictures and all At once made ZIP your
mind to- see the "conearnea thing anyhow =?
Why of course. And then YOU went up and
stood on your dignity and one foot while
you yelled zone" at the man behind the glass
under whi,4, he passed green ticket and
rakrd in your dime. Did YOU ever pass near
the door and study the faces of those buying
tickets while you used your spare eye on the
pretty girls that pass by? No! Well its
fun. To, cite our first purchase ola Dime
Museum ticket, will take but a minute. We
stood on the curb with our back to the en-
trance, while by frantic cndcavors to dis
lodge me from the corner Of our pockets
our temperature ran up to l03. At last we
feel him, but he elud,s firm grasp, and to
take him out among miscellaneous collcc-
ton of calamus root and copper rivcts, is
modification worse than death Then while
we are mad enough to fight anything from
"our size" up to that of the late Mr.. Jumbo,
we 30 up to a store window and appear
much taken up with tie display Of goods,
while our fingers try to break the record
in q new race for that dime. Caught at last
We start for the ticket office and Just as we
step up to the window, we could not swear
which pocket it was in now. We arc calm
as a summers morning. If the ticket man
was very green he would think we had pur.
chased at least 1000 tickets right there at
that same window, when in fact it WAS our
first. Our ticket secure we start right 'or
the cellar bu. an attachc of the place heads
us CT ana, then right Nc'orc Us we see the
big hnnd pointing the way. OF course we
knew the hand WAS there all the time. We
only wanted TO look in that other place
whlle the crowd was not there.
Here is a man with his feet in the middle
Of the aisle who holds out his hand and looks
daggers at ,ls. Ticket? We are about to
give It to him when thought strikes us,
may be he got in here some how with that
box, and if we give it to him We will have to
pav again at the head of the STAIRS. He
stares at us so that we hold it out half tim d.
" clingng to a last hope that he will relent
and let us pass unmolescd. Ticket' No go ,
| 1--WE pass'-Oycr the ticket and on up stairs.
whats in a name?' Sackcl and Virgins
Dime Museum, read the sign, and we thought
if there be anything inside odd as this, it
must be worth a dime, SO We went in, The
Lecturer was culling some beautiful flowers
of oratory in telling the mob, that the Boa
is "snaix' kills its food hy crushins; ctc.'
(see picture in big common school Gcog)
Nearly forgot to mention that this, and i'll
fact his lectures each day, are spoken in
the stercotyped fashion, through his nose
We saw everything-the albino, the pg-tall-
ed Irishman the monkeys and birds, Punch
and Judy and tie bad boy whose lower jaw
is worked by lever in the back of the neck,
while he spells, Constantinople, and tells you
Massachusetts is in Boston. The affair
throughout is very attractive and strictly
first class Every week new curosities.
Next week they will exhibit an Editor, cap
tured in his den, in the very act of writing
an original editorial. The posters say, along
with him will he exhibited sheet contain
ing the names of his ck-paying subscribers
and samples Of the food he eats. Most likely
paste and bodkins."
They advertise. Campaign lie'' and a
dishonest politician" but that, is evidently a
hoax. How we escaped and lived to write
+! this we will let you all guess. W L. +.