davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
The BrOnchO.
fsanta Fe Democrat

santa Fe Democrat
A broncho is a horse He has four legs
like a sawhorse, but is decidedly more
skittish. The broncho is of gentle deport-
ment and modest mein, but there isn't really
a safe place about him There is nothing
mean about the broncho, though; he is per-
fsctly reasonable and acts on principle. All
he asks is to he let alone, but he does ask
this, and even insists on it. He is firm in
this matter, and no kind of argument can
shake his determination. There is a bron-
clio that lives out some miles from this city.
We know him quite well. One day a man
roped him and tried to put a saddle ON him.
The broncho looked sadly at him, shook his
head and begged the fellow as plain as could
be to go away and not try to interfere with a
broncho who was simply engaged in the pur-
suit of his own happiness; but the man came
on with the saddle and continued to egresS.
Then the bronch0 reached out with his right
hind foot and expostulated with him SO that
he died. When thoroughly aroused the
broncho is quite fatal, and if You can get
close enough to him to examine his cTanial
structure you will find cavity just above
the eye where the bump of remorse should
be. The broncho is what the cowboys call
'.high strung" If you want to know just
how high he is strung climb up on his apex.
We rode broncho once.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
Currency.

Detroit Free Press.
The Buffalo Express has discovered tt
Dana of The Sun was rejected by the sen .
as a brigadier in 1868 This accounts for VI
war hanging on two years longer.
The musicians of England have held c.
vention to agree on standard pitch. *
ought to have one in this country, and h y
law to enforce it at camp meetings.
Says the New Orleans Picayune: CIV
medical students are being harshly
demned for robbing graves, it is forgot
that the students intend to fill than up a s;s.
when they go int practice"
The seventeen-year lOcusts haven't bit
anybody or anything in this state ye5. In
confound 'em, they must stop kicking do
walls and fences or the farmers will cali
a rebellion There is limit even to gra
hopper's fun.
Chicago Ledger: No one ever heard O. :
female ventrilOquist. When a woman tax
all the vocal machinery is in motion
Exchange: Professor Huxley calls prinl
rose "a corollifloral dicotyledonous exogen
but he wouldn't do it if the primrose wa
able to hit back. Soma men are terrib.
overbearing toward the weak.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
storyettes.
Lsan Francisco Argonaut. ]


Bismarck used TO have three hairs on his
bald head, but now he has done with brush
and comb forever He is the coolest-headed
man in Europe; perhaps this accounts for
it. A lady wrote TO him for some personal
memento, IL it were ''only q single hair
Bismarck scrawled on the bottom of the
letter, Impossible, madam; they are all
three gone
In the Bernese Overland parrot one day
made its escape and perched on the rain
trough of a farmhouse in the neighborhood.
The farmer brought ladder to capture the
strange animal When he had reached the
top, and was stretching out his hand, the
parrot called out: What do you want7
What do you wantF' The astonished peas
ant at once took off his cap and said: 'Oh,
beg your pardon; I thought you were
birdln
During the Franco-Prussian war Arch
bishop Guibert, who then resided at Tours,
offered home in his palace to NJ. Cremieux,
the eminent Hebrew lawyer, and his wife,
and they gratefully accepted it. When the
aspect Of things was so far altered that M.
Cremieux could return to Paris he took
most affectionate leave of his host, expr ess-
inc the thanks of the ''Jew'' to the ''good
Christian" and saying Sab, monsignor,
ours is the recon ciIiation of the Old and the
New Testament. Henceforth they are one"
Pardon, M. Cremieux," replied the arch
bishop, "a clever lawyer like you should not
forget that the last testament annuls all
previous ones. Ours alone holds good"
A Scotch subaltern at Gibraltar was one
day on guard with another officer, who I'M
luckily fell down a precipice 400 feet and
was killed. Non-military readers should
understand that in the guard reports there
is a small addendum, viz: IN. B.-Nothing
extraordinary since guard mounting" Our
friend, however, said nothing about the ac-
cident, and some hours after the brigade
major came to his quarters, on the part of
the officer commanding, with the report in
his hand, to demand an explanation. ''Ycu
say, N B.-Nothing extraordinary since
guard mounting when your brother officer
duty has fallen down a precipice 400
feet and been killed" ''Weel, sir"
replied he, II dinna think there's onything
extraordinary in that; if he'd fan doom
precipice 400 feet and no been killed
should hae thought it very extraordinary
indeed, and wad haze put it doom in my re-
port"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
Plantations, Country Stores and Eamln

-CoNsIsTING
in
Oils and Cylinder OIL Albany C@P
Pumbago Plain Cut and Wrought Iron Nails G
Wire, Plain and Perforated S
Wire Centrifugal Wire Cloths Centrifugal Rubber
Rubber Valves Springs H4
a inch, ply. Steam Packing round aud
Screws Paris Steel Breaking %
boss pillow Mol Furrowng and Breaking Flows all Sizes Cuha
Hoes, Gang Plows Planters Hoes make inch Goose Neck
Planters Hoes Shovels Spades Rake Forks Scoops Bush S Feed
Knives superior quality; Mowers Road
Axes Fairbanks Scales, three szes Grndstone, all Sizes Axes M
Pick Axes, Horse Shoes Machine Bolts @
lengths superior Shelf Hardware Builders Hwa
Locks, Butts, Screws Hinges Staples, Tack Bad Planes
etc. Mchinists of all kinds Hammers etc. FH
and Glass.
Rubber Paint Boiled and Raw OIL Valentine
Turpenn variety of small paints in Oils
Lamps Lanterns large variety Stationery INKS Tin and Hollow "9
BLUE DENNIS, 8, 9and OF Al
FINE RED SALMON, barrels.
BENICIA MILLS Family Flour.
andG GRADUATED SUGAR. in half barrel"
GIANT POWDER GELATINE POWDER very
Jew Steamship AIamed"
BLAKE BOILER FEED, LIGHT VACUUM PUMPS IN
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
A Zinc Sense off Honor.

Virginia City New Chroniclel
1t is extremely refreshing to notice the
fine sense of honor possessed by some of the
rising generation in Virginia CITY. Last
evening two youths, each aged about IA, me
on G. street, when the following dialogue
took place.
81 say, Bill, you got my knife"
No. amt"
'''Pon your wordP'
"'Pon me word.'
"'Pon your soul2"
'''Pon me soul"
"Hope you may die if you haveT'
''Hope I may die if have"
''You amt got my knifeg'
81 amt got your knife"
The querist seemed to be still increduloui,
but was ON the point of giving it up in de-
spair, when bright idea occurred to HIM
and he returned to the attack with:
'''Pon your honorg'
''Oh," said the other, ''now you touch me
homer, take your DANCED old knife" and he
handed the article over.
'Well done, Bill, 4" said his chum; 81 al.u
knowed you was honorable chap"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
A western Advertisement.
Bloomington Eye.1


Seen. Grant may get well and Judge Wad'
may be held up again, but 1 want to Sc.
M house in Boulder, any how. 1t contain;
4 rooms, 2 closets, pantry and, most of tn,
time, my wife and T. or, more grammati
cally, my wife and me- There is a cellai
under the house and any quantity of scener>
and pure air in the immediate vicinity /;
is stone house. If you want to buy, com,
sad let US reason together
John J. KER
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
What Pure Milk Costs.
[Puck.l

City Lady-Mr. Hayseed, shall send my
nurse girl to you for milk every morning.
How much do you charge quart?
Farmer-Five cents.
City Lady-You must give her good pure
milk
Farmer-That'n be-eight cents quart.
City Lady-And I should like my girl 10
be present at the milking.
Farmer-Lemme see-Fll heY to charge
twenty-five cents quart fur hat.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
Fresher Than a Spring Zephyr.

81 like the mild spring air" said Deacon
Gilpin, as he sat down on Squire McGilPs
porch floor the other morning for friendly
chat. How fresh it makes every thing
seem. Do you know of anything fresher
than the gentle spring zephyrg' ''No, 1
don't know as l does,' replied the squire,
unless it's that ere paint you're sitting on.
faint been on the floor over two hours"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
G. naent fr,m Rice.

A cement which is in very general use
I'm China and Japan is made from rice.
The -four OF rice, mixed with water and
sinmered over fire, produces a delicate
and durable cement which answers all
the purposes of common paste.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27

It is said that So per cent. of all persons
diving in Paris are buried at public ex-
pe1se.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
STEAMER LEHUA.

eDavIes, Commander
Leaves Honolulu every Monday at p NJ tor
TK&unakakai, Kahului, every week; Huelo, Hama
and Kipahulu. Keanae, BTokulau and Nun every
other week. Returning, viii stop at the above
ports, arriving back Saturday mornings.
For mails and passengers only.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27

DARTIES DESIRING TO SEND BANANAS
or other Island fruits to friends and relatives
the Coast, can have the same delivered at
destination by paying cost and charges to
HENRY DAVIS,
Manager California Produce and Provision Com
pany. 34S seI&w
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
STEAMER KILAUEA HOU,

(Weisbarth, Commander1,
Will leave regularly for Paauhau, KOholalele,
Ookala, Kukaiau HOnOhina, Laupahoehoe, Haka-
Ian and Onomea.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27

Is Wnen madam essays 10 saw DOafu.
With her knee on plank, and the plank ON
a chair,
She poises her saw with knowing air;
Makes several wild rasps at the pencilei
line,
And is off with whizz the reverse Of fine.
With lips compressed she gets down to work,
And crosses the timber jerkity- jerk;
She can't keep to the line, her knee slips
askew,
But she keeps to the work till the board
splits in two.
She has damaged the chair, she has ruined
the saw,
Her back is aching, her hands are raw,
And she finds when she tries to fit her prize,
It's an inch too short of the requisite size.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
STEAMER MOKOLn,
tMcGregor, Commander,

Leaves Honolulu each Monday at p. for
Kaunakakai, Kanalo, Pukoo, Lahaina. Moanui,
Halawa, Wailau, Pelekunu and Kalaupapa. Re-
turning, leaves Pukoo Priday6 a. m. for Honolulu,
arriving Saturday morning.
HB- The Company win not be responsible for
any freight or packages unless rcceipted for, nor
for personal baggage unless plainly marked. Not
responsible for money or jewelry unless placed In
charge of the Purser.
All possible care win be taken of Live Stock, but
the Company viii not assume any risk Of accident
SANI'L. q. WILDER, President
3. B. ROSE, Secretary.
0FFTCE-Corner Fort and Queen streets.
2S-1y Mar 80
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27

Referring TO the above, we beg to
inform the business public that our
Banking establishment will be opened
for the transaction of business on
Monday, May the 4th, when we will
be prepared to receive deposits in our
Savings Bank.
We will also be prepared to make
loans, discount approved notes, and
purchase exchange at best market
rates.
We will receive deposits on open
account, make collections and con-
duct general Banking and Ex-
change business.
Our arrangements have been COM
pleted, so that we can draw exchange
on the principal parts of the world.
1O5-tf CLAUS SPRECKELs & Co.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
WILDER'S STEAMSHIP CO.,
STEAMER KINAU,
(King, Commander),

Leaves Honolulu as per following schedule,
touching at Lahaina, Maalaea, Makena, Mahu-
kona Kawalhae LaupahoehOe, Hilo and Keauhou:
Tuesday June %, Volcano and way ports.
Tuesday June 80, Hilo and way ports.
Tuesday July z, HilO and way ports.
Tuesday, July IA, Volcano and way ports
Tuesday July FL, lilo and way ports.
Tuesday, July %, Volcano and way ports.
Tuesday, August 4, Hilo and way ports.
Tuesday August IL, Volcano and way ports.
Tuesday August 10, Hilo and way ports.
Tuesday, August 25, Volcano and way ports
Tuesday, September 1, Hilo and way ports.
Tuesday, September s, Volcano and way ports.
Tuesday, September Is, HilO and way ports.
Tuesday, September %, Volcano and way ports
Tuesday, September %, HilO and way ports.
PASSENGER TRAINS will connect with the
Kinau at MahukOna.
The Kinau WILL TOUCH at HonOkaia and
Paauhau on down trips from HilO for Passengers
If a signal is made from the sbSre.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
BANKING NOTICE.

The undersigned have formed CO.
partnership under the firm name of
CLAUS SPREcKELs 81 Co., for the
purpose of carrying on a Bank of
Savings and Deposits, and for trans
acting a general Banking and Ex-
change business at Honolulu, and
such other place in the Hawaiian
Kingdom as may be deemed advisable.
CLAUS SPRECKELs.
VIM. G. IRWIN.
Honolulu, April Is, 1885.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27
Employment Department
Custom House Broker.

Custom House Bro kero
Merchants will find this Department special
benefit to them, as attend to entering goods
through power of Attorney and delivering the
same at a small commission.
Soliciting Agent for TIE "MUTUAL LIFE
INSURANCE COMPANY OF NEW YORK. -
the largest, grandest and sOundest Insurance
CONF any in the world.
AGENT for the
"Great Burlington Railway Route
In America. Travellers jonrneying by rail in
America will find this route the most comfortable
and most delightful. The scenery is the grandest
going East, and with the PULLMAN PALACE
SLEEPING CARS and good meals along the trip,
polite attention from employees and reason
able fare no route excel this. MR.. c. K.
MILLER, my Chief Clerk, specially attends TO
this Department, and for information guide books,
maps, etc, he will extend every courtesy.
AGENT for the
Honolulu Royal Opera House.
Managers of hrst-cIass companies abroad VIII
address me for terms. ETC.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-08-27

IN FOWLER'S YARD, 81 AND SO HOTEL
l. street. The only one dollar house in Homo
lulu. Rooms per night, 25 cents; rooms per
week, 81. IS6-nlS
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-05-20
REFORM AT FUNERALS.
Extravaganza of Rich and Poor That will
Have to Give Way.

Ono of the greatest reforms in modern
extravaganza, pomp and show" said q
prominent divine, twill in my opinion be
made in funerals and the customs of mourn
ing within the next generation"
"What will cause it 2' interpolated a re-
porter.
The pressure of the times in money
matters. Economy is being practiced in
every branch of domestic life and why not
in funerals. Why, 1 have known poor peo-
pie to draw their money from savings bank
the result of years hard work-and
spend it in burying son or daughter. The
expense does not end with the purchase of
the richly mounted casket, the hire of car
riages or the cost of flowers. Elaborate
mourning garments are put on and marble
tomb erected with inscriptions thereon OF
virtues which if the deceased possessed in
life thoroughly fitted them to be saints il
death. These extrayagances the exigencie'
of the times will regulate. What l thinl
will especially be reformed is the outward
show of grief and woe assumed by til,
mourners for months after the death. The,
ostracize themselves from society, look sac
when in company, and generally try to as
sure the public that their grief is sincere
Perhaps it is, and frequently it is not.
Wearing Grape, looking melancholy and
haying at home is more frequently sham
than otherwise, and custom only is respon.
sible. In the time of the Byzantine Empire
mourning at funerals deyolyed upon profess
sional weepers, who hired themselves to fol-
low in the procession and indulge in loud
lamentations. This saved the relatives the
trouble of wailing and weeping to convince
the public of their grief. They would not
be out of place in some modern funerals I
have attended. believe due respect should
be shown the dead, but not in decetful
manner. The expensive funerals of the
wealthy and pomp and trappings they dis.
play have an effect on the poor people.
They desire to initiate them in small way
and bankrupt themselves to have long
line of empty carriages in funeral process
sion. In the matter of marriage and death
sham should be avoided"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-05-20
Ship Canal Statistics.

The largest ship canal in Europe is the
great North Holland Canal, completed in
1925. II is 1874 feet wide at the water sur
face, 81 feet vide at the bottom, and has q
depth of 20 feet; il extends from Amster.
dam to the Helder-sxty miles. The Gale.
DOMAIN Canal, in Scotland, has total
length of 60 miles, including three lakes
The Suez Canal is 90 miles long, of which
66 miles are actual canal; it is 26 feet 4
inches deep, 70 feet 8 inches wide at the
bottom, and 800 feet wide at the water sur
face. The Erie Canal is 1868 miles long /;
the Ohio Canal, Cleveland to Portsmouth,
1882 the Miami and Erie, Cincinnati to
Toledo, BOG; the Wasbash and Erie, Evans
vile to the Ohio line, 374. The Panama
Canal is to be 453 miles in length.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-05-20
WIN TER LIFE ON THE CANAL BOATS.

There are over 200 boats in the canal
within city limits, about half of which are
occupied by families. These are quite gen.
orally acquainted, and often visit each other
while cooped up for the winter. Our cap.
tain had usually wintered in New York, and
his family was not very we'll acquainted with
those usually wintering in Buffalo, but there
had been no lack of sociability. It is the
general custom for the children of the boat
men to go to school wherever their boats
happened to winter, and no special arrange
ment is necessary.
The boatmen do not trouble themselves
with the care of their stock during the win
ter, unless, as is occasionally the case, they
happen to own land, when it is convenient
to tie up near their farms and winter on
shore. A large number of the mules are
kept on Grand Island this winter, and
others are distributed about in small lots Of
various suburban points. Tho price foi
keeping them is from eighty cents to 81 a
head per week. They are sheltered, but gel
nothing better than coarse hay.
Altogether the navigator OIL the canal does
not lead an unpleasant life. He is always
snugly housed his cabin is light and airy.
If he must brave the storms as driver or
steersman, he gets many days that are n
pure delight to one who has little to do but
sit under an awning and enjoy the sur
rounding scenery. He may not care for
the beauties OF the Hudson or the stir of
New York Bay, but that is his fault If he
does not II this rushing world could wait
for the creeping boats, there would BIO no
little patronage Of them, but when the rail-
road trains are not half swift enough there
% no show for the most delightful scenery
and tho ARREST of summer trips il there is
anything slow in connection. Sitting half
day at time on the steps of dingy coun-
try hotel is usually preferred by people who
wish to enjoy themselves ont Of the city,
Buffalo Express.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-05-20
Good-Looking Freeholders.

GOOu-LOOkihS freehoiueFss
The Hunterdon Democrat has dis.
covered that the members of the Board
of Freeholders are good-looking. 1t
says "While attending the meeting OF
the new Board of Freeholdere last Wed
nesday, we learned through neighbor
Calls, of the Republican, that he consid-
cred Freebooter Creager the handsomest
man in the Board. While we admit that
Mr.. Creager presents pretty fair show
of good looks, we are not willing to ac-
cept neigbbor Calls decision as final.
We appeal to the Director to appoint a
committee of three impartial members
to 'arbitrate the mooted question. We
pit Freeholders Yawger, Foran and Ar
nett against the Republicans prize beau
ty, and If they decide against us we still
have Freeholders Palmer, Cole and Hig-
gins to press forward. The fact is that
all of these twenty guardians of the
county seem to have been selected with
especial regard to beauty, and perhaps
Director Cronce would have difficulty in
getting three of them to throw them
selves out of the contest by serving on
the committee. In that event we sug-
gest that Clerk Bloom, Collector Will
hanson and Counsellor Chamberlin take
the matter in hand and divide the honor
between themselves
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-05-20
LOCUST PLAGUE,
An Army's March Arrested by the Insects.

OF all destructive foes none are more
dreaded in most Eastern lands than the To-
Gusts, whose dire visitations may we'll be
deemed national calamities. In point of
fact, the lands which are exempt from their
occasional presence are favored few A
very few details of their invasion of south.
ern Russia in the years 1879 and 1880 will
give us some idea of their multitude. They
fell upon the province of Caucasus utterly
destroying vineyards and gardens block
aiding the streets SO that traffic was sus-
pended; filling the ovens, so that for sew
eral days baking was quite out of the ques-
ton; and so choking the water-courses
That not cup of water could be drunk un-
ill filtered.
In Georgia they fairly routed detach-
ment of Russian troops, who, not liking to
turn aside on their march repealed by mere
insects attempted to face the locust army,
although report said it covered twenty
square miles of country. So the soldiers
advanced, but soon found themselves liter.
ally covered by the clinging, creeping in.
sects, which crawled all over them, until
finally the men fairly turned and fed, slip
ping and sliding as they ran over the crush
ed and oily bodies of their myriad foes.
For forty-eight hours they were detained,
taking refuge in q village, and assisting
the inhabitants to kill millions of the in
vaders, whose corpses they carted off to
manure the fields, which, however, were in
the meantime stripped of every blade Of
grass or corn, and the trees shorn of every
green leaf.
On the road from Tifis to Poti the locusts
lay 80 thick on the line that the trains
were obstructed. Large districts of south
ern Russia were swept as bare of oil vege.
tation as if n fire had ragged over the land,
and hundreds of peasants, utterly beggared,
abandoned their homes to seek bread wher-
ever it might be found. In the province of
Cherson alone, q sum of fifty thousand ru-
bles was voted by Government for eyp d.
ture in the effort to free the land of this
plague in another district, twenty thou.
sand persons were employed daily for three
months in the same work the Government
expenditure on the whole organization was
estimated at two hundred thousand rubles,
without any calculation of the loss on crope
of oil descriptions.
Another notable scene of locust-plague
was Algeria in the year 1866, when the
damage done by these insects was estimat-
ed at fifty million francs, and resulted in
famine SO appalling that two hundred thou.
sand natives died of starvation. Ar tn
Year Round