davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

The Current says human beings
love ceremony Certainly they do, the
kind that takes two young people and q
preacher
An old lady went to Palmer drug
store the other day and asked for bot
tie of embracing bitters." If it had
only been young ladyl--Lo0eH Courier
The old romance is now due. Roll
of bills-old stove-hid in the oven
wife makes fire-return of farmer who
does not believe in savings banks-de-
spair-divorce. philadelphia Call.
Stanley says the native African can
sing himself to sleep. We have lots OF
people In America who can do better
than that They can sing q crowd to
death. Detroit Free Press.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox asks in one OF
her poems, 20, what shall make me
laugh again." Her husband might
make her smile by telling her that her
pies are as perfect as her poetry IN Y,
Sun
"A plate has been discovered on
which pie can be baked without burn
ing while the mistress Of the house is
finishing her novel and the cook is hav.
ing few last words with the police
mani Pittsburgh Chronicle.
. III the people only knew how tired
! am" said q humorous writer, "they
could not help sympathizing with me. p"
"Yes," sarcastic acquaintance re-
joined, land If you knew how tired the
people are you could not help sympar
thizing with Them"
What is that butter made OFF"
asked boarder. Don't you think it
is goodP' mildly responded the land
lady, in Yankee style. II should say
not" "Well. you don't know what
you are talking about" II admit it, :"
calmly replied he.-OI City Blissard.
An actress travelling in New Zea-
land has discovered new way of adj
vertising much cheaper than losing
diaponds. She induced the Maorl
king to fall in love with her. and per-
suaded him to proclaim an offer to
kill all his wives on condition that she
would become his queen.
-Physician-"You do not need med
icine at all. Take plenty of exercise
and mild tonic-say bottle of claret
every day." Patient Tin alarm) 10,
no! can't do that" Him. Temper
ance manr 20. no! But the fact is
l was in the wine business myself once,
and l know how it's made. -PAiladeI-
fhia Call.
TO cure snoring an exchange ad-
vises that piece Of soap be dropped
into the mouth of the snorer. The oil
in the soap will lubricate the pharynx
and other Latin parts of the throat. 1t
strikes us that this remedy had better
be applied with caution. else the snorer
might arise and lubricate the floor with
the man who dropped in the SOAP
Philadelphia Call -
-Sympathizing friend-"Is it true,
my dear Mrs. Brown, that your hus-
band committed suicidep'' Mrs. Brown
(recently bereaved)-"I am afraid it
is" Sympathizing friend-"What in
the world could have induced him to
commit such rash and desperate acte"
Mrs. Brown--"I haven't the faintest
idea never knew John to do such
thing before. IN Y Times.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
Powerful froncIad.

1t Is thought by naval architects that
the limit of naval strength had been
reached in the construction of the
Italian monster ironclads Duello and
Dandolo, launched within few years.
But the Italia and Lepanto. the most re-
cent additions, are heavier yet both in
armor and ordnance The last two
carry four guns. each weighing 100
tons, and capable of throwing shells Of
rising 1000 pounds weight. But the
British Government is to lay down one
first-class ironclad, which will be armed
with two guns only. but these will be
Of ITO tons weight. will require more
than 600 pounds to load. and will
throw Palliser steel shell of $500
pounds The armor Of this vessel.
however will be but eighteen inches Of
steel on q similar thickness of wood,
showing that no attempt will be made
to initiate the Italian method Of thick
srmor The most powerful ship in the
British navy. the Inflexible, has twenty
four inches of solid iron encasing her
citadel, and twenty-five inches of
solid teak backing, while her eighty
ton Armstrong gun throws . shot
which has penetrated her own armor
plates thirty-on inches depth.-N r.
Sun
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
CLEANING LACES.
The Processes Used In Renewing Silks, Vel
vets and Other Costly Fabrics.

The Processes Used In Renewing Silks, vel
vets and Other Costly Fabrics.
A careless waiter or an accident at
the dinner table may cause the appar-
emit ruin of laces, silks or velvets worth
large sums of money. If the lady tries
to clean them herself, she makes mat
tiers worse, and makes it impossible for
the professional cleaners to do any
thing with them afterward. These
cleaners have peculiar methods in rem
ovating these delicate fabrics, and
many of them they will not reveal, as
they are secrets of their trade.
.sThe treatment of fine laces," said a
cleaner, ''is an expensive and trouble
some process. A thick blanket of soft
rags is sewed around bottle. and on
this the lace is pinned. 1t is quite i'm
possible to rub lace, as it would tear it
to pieces. The bottle is then placed in
bath of soapy warm water. After
soaking for twenty minutes it is boiled
for,some time and then allowed to cool.
1t is dipped in several baths Of clear
water. until all the soap seems to be re-
moved. The lace is then removed from
the bottle, and, after part of the
water is driven out by gentle pres
sure, it is hung up to dry.
After time it is laid on q soft cloth
to dry still more. When still slightly
damp it is placed on hair cushion
covered with flannel, and is fastened
there with lace pins. This is work Of
skill and patience. A pin is passed
through each loop and twist is given
before the pin is fastened. Sometimes
the loop is drawn straight and some-
times not, the operator seeking to
follow the original design of the lace.
When quite dry the lace is sponged
with a weak solution of gum arabic,
and, when dry again, it is almost as
good as new.
The method of cleansing velvet is a
secret. 1t can be greatly freshened by
steaming it over boiling water, care
being taken to expose the wrong side of
the velvet to the steam: but this is
useful only where the damage is not
very great can tell you only that
the process is dry one and chalk is
used in it. Velvet that has been wet is
hard to treat, but we have been able to
do wonders with it.
lit is very common thing for
actresses to bring elaborate silk and
satin costumes to be renewed, and we
also have many fine ball dresses. We
do not take them apart. but cleanse
them as they are. They are first dipped
in bath of naphtha, and this removes
ink, champagne, and many other
stains. Then they 60 into a bath of
pure benzine, which takes out all the
grease. They are softly rubbed in
these baths, and any spots remaining
are treated with oxalic acid. They are
rinsed out in warm water and dried
over steam coils. To iron them would
harden the silk and make it shiny, SO it
is run over steam rolls, or ironed be-
tween fiannels We have ironers whose
business is to iron dresses, and when
they have finished q dress it looks new.
Mildew is removed by oxalic acid. -
Chicago Sun.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
DRIFT OF THE HUDSON.
A Floating junk Shop with Full As
sortment of Goods.


The river brings its regular supply Of
drift, writes correspondent at New
York. 1t brings cordwood, dropped
from passing vessels; piles which have
rotted away, floated away, and are
cruising about to find decent sepulture;
campstools tossed from excursion
steamers, old boards. new boards.
shingles, sticks, chips, bark, old
brooms. worn out scrubbing brushes.
bits of torn and tangled seine, runaway
eel-pots, dead dogs. dead puppies. an
occasional dead horse, illegally pitched
at night off some New York pier; old
boxes and barrels. old pantaloons, bot
tles-some smelling of medicine and
others of whisky, oorks without bottles,
moro bottles without corks, hats blown
overheard, some old, some new; shad-
poles. bean-poles, lunch-baskets. water
soaked bread. empty sardine and lob
ster-cans, the debris of floating
lunch parties; cabbage leaves. cab
bage heads. decomposed fruit and veg
etables, sometimes q fish-pole, with line
and hook attached; old paint-brushes.
VsCA ehiuS, AL CAST oiis
flung of, worn of, torn of, rubbed off of
the worlds surface, including also old
boots and shoes, so long as they float.
Every morning inspect the bit of
strand near my door to see what the
river has brought. II is an interesting
lottery. Sometimes find late news
paper, soaked, to be sure, but when
dried on the rocks it reads as well as if
Just issued: As we have no regular
supply on this bank of the stream, news
three or four days old reads just as
well, and seems quite interesting
til one looks at the date. Some of this
drift, when it comes, comes to stay.
Particularly old boots and shoes, stuck
in the mud. have become well ac-
quainted by sight with several impaired
specimens, regularly appearing before
my door at low tide-especially one gil
gantic boot, presumably the former
property of some colossal-footed Jersey
shadmah. A pair of old pantaloons
cling tenaciously to my beach, chang
ing their position but little with each
tide, and having startling resemblance
in the various attitude OF the legs as
flung about by the waves to the limbed
part of drowned man.-E1chdnge.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
CISTS AND uRNS.


Interesting Discoveries Made on an old
scotch Estate
sWorkmen on the estate of Petreavie,
near Dunfermline, Scotland, have been
engaged in onen;no a large tumnlus II
~. $3.50, 80,
WAC VI '.'s ee'a'o 'ne'' -" wooAs
ago. h'ghiy interesting discovery OF
cists and urns was made. The tumulus
which has now been opened is over two
miles from the former mound. The
mound slopes gradually up to about
forty feet from the level ground, and
near the top has been encircled by
ring of rough stones of about twenty
feet In radius. On excavations having
been made at the top large cist was
come upon about three feet below the
surface. This cist is situated in the
verv center OF the mound. and Ii formed
of very heavy freestone slabs. 1t meas
ures internally forty-two inches by
twenty-six inches, and is eighty-two
inches il depth. II was covered BY .
massive stone slab measuring forty
eight inches by thirty-six inches, and is
nearly ten inches thick. In the cist was
found a finely-shaped old decorated urn.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31

The white dresses so popular during
the summer for general wear will re-
main in fhyor for house dresses
throughout autumn. Those made OF
white serge will have touch Of color
added by q vest, collar. and cuffs OF the
new plush with long pile. and dotted
with metal ike beads. White pique
dresses. W tn . vest Of blue or black
velvet will still be worn by those who
object TO wool goods. A small Spanish
jacket of velvet or plush. rounded or
square in front, and edged with the
new rosary beds, will also be worn
with white dresses in the house. = tar
pevs' Bassr.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
WHY HE COMES NOT.

Che stands at the garden gate tonight:
= No word does the maiden speak,
But h0r eyes are full Of an anxious light,
AND atesrdrop CLEANS like diamond bright
On the rose OF her velvet cheek.
The sun in his slovy has long since set.
The robin has ceased 10 song;
With the falling dew the leaves ere wet,
The hour 10 past and he comes not vet.
Oh, why does he stay SO long7
In vain she seeks to restrain her tears
AS the precious moments fleet;
And her heart is filled with doubts ana fears
As she listening stands aud strains her ears
For the sound of her lovers feet.
Oh, beauteous maid at the garden gate,
pity thy woeful plight:
But get thee In, for the hour 10 late.
For thy lovers coming no longer wait,
He will not appear tonight
fein would the youth 10 thy side have flown,
hit he hadn't . change Of clothes,
E0 ais waeherwoman. her patience gone,
10 MS shirts ana collars and cuffs hold on
I'LL he pays up the bill he owes.
-BOston Courier.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
IN ARGENTINE.

Pretty American school Mains who Went
to South America Iuveigled Into Matri-
mOny.
The public school system is also un-
der the patronage of the Government,
under compulsory education law, and
includes all grades from the kindergar-
ten to the normal school. The dis
tinguished x-President of the Republic,
DR.. Larmiento. who was formerly Min
lister to the United States, is the especial
patron of education. and it is his ambi-
ton to make the school system of Ar
gentine the finest in the world. He has
taken our own as his model, and knows
as much about the schools of the United
States as Commissioner Eaton of the
Educational Bureau himself.
Some years ago he went to America
to engage teachers, and through the as
sistance of Mrs. Horace Mann, of Bos-
ton, and the faculties of the State Nor
NAL Schools throughout the country.
secured the services of score of young
ladies, graduates of these institutions,
who are now here under contract for
ten years with the Government, manag-
ing the normal schools and young la
dies seminaries. and educating the
wives of the coming generation on the
American plan. Some of these girls
are from New England, but the most
of them from the Northwestern States.
They have conducted themselves, with
out exception. in the most exemplary
manner, and are regarded with the
greatest admiration by the Government
and by the people. Several who have
come down here to teach, I'm sorry to
say, have violated their contracts and
abandoned the philanthropic work
which they were engaged to perform 1t
salaries ranging from eighty to one
hundred dollars month. The tempta-
tions of the country have been too much
for them, and after withstanding to the
extent of their resistance have sur
rendered, and are now the wives OF
prominent Argentines. But it should
be said that in every instance of this
sort they have provided substitutes,
which have been accepted by the Gov
eminent, and have proved acceptable.
Bmenos Tyres Letter.
The Welchmen have begun to reaY-
ze that they are not getting as much
credit for their patriotic services as
they have deserved. They remind us
that of fifty-tive signers Of the Decla-
ration of Independence seventeen were
Welshmen either by birth or lineage
Moreover, fourteen Generals. one
Colonel, six Captains and one Lieuten-
ant in the Revolutionary war were
Welshmen. - Chicago Herald.
~
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
CARE OF THE EYES.
The Progress Made In the Manufacture Of
Artificial Eyes-A Great Scientists In
vention.

The Progress Made In the Manufacture Of
Artificial Eyes-A Great Scientists In
vention.
Everybody takes considerable in
terest in his eyes," said a prominent
oculst. land I don't think any other
portion of the human anatomy is
worthy Of more attention. Yet it is
more abused than any other organ.
From early infancy it is treated shame
fully. The baby's knuckles poke it
and the. lids are frequently made to
open to expose it to the view of admir-
ing relatives and friends. Boyhood's
days bring books to be read and lessons
10 DO worked into the brain through its
medium. Youth fills it with tobacco
smoke in the one sex and needlework
and novels in the other. In maturity it
is abused Of necessity by the use Of
spectacles. A poor eye is better than
no eye at all. Science has made the
deaf to hear by means of various little
instruments. Manufactured teeth often
serve the purpose better than the origi-
mails. and patent working arms and legs
often replace the natural members.
An eye once lost 10 its sense of sight
can never be replaced by anything that
will restore that sense. Artificial eyes
have existed as long as there has been
any demand for them. Step this
way" said the specialist, land Twill
show you large assortment of them.
The doctor reached up to a shelf in his
cabinet and took down two small
fat boxes. One Of them was labelled /:
Left Eyes,
/. Assorted
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
a GREAT CURE.
Three wormy Herrlngs the One Elixir for
LOve-Sick Youths.

Three wormy Herrines the One Elixir for
Love-Sick Youths.
20. go wayr' he said, as the other
boy bent over him and asked the cause
of his trouble.
Jim, have We got headache one
O. them reglar old rippers what draws
yer shoulders right up to yer earsp"
"Naw!''
Got the agerP"
'.Nawr'
Some big boy gin ye a lickin' for
sassin' himp"
"Naw-g'way!'
Jim, hain't yer pardner? Can't
ye trust yer best friend9 Now, what is
it, Are ye in luvP"
"Umr'
us she beautiful ~
Yes"
Erich and tonyp'
"You betr'
And there is wide social gulf be-
tween youP"
"Um-ves.
"And her parents are implacablep"
Yes
Then, Jim, cheer up. I'll stand by
ye' ii get u nOte 10 ncr. III help We
plan the lopement I'll lend We my
rope-ladder and Sunday coat and silver
watch-chain. and I'll gin We five nickels
to help you out on a bridal tower.
Come, Jim-come down the alley and
help me eat a muskmelon and three
behring's. I've been there, and know.
When gals implacable dad stands be-
tween her and the kid who wants to
call her his'n it takes behring's
rings with worms in 'em-t three for q
cent-to pull his pining soul back into
the socket. Come. old pard. Detroit
Free Press
Mr. A. w. Pearson writes that the
more mosquitoes bite the less YOU are
Inconvenience by their visitation-as
in the case of intermittent beesting.
when the system becomes saturated
with the venom there is no further re-
action." Also. they are said to serve
in the way of specific for malaria. Is
this gentleman and good agricultural
cor respondent trying to boom New
Jersey. OF which he Is loyal cltizenp
IA. Y. Tribune.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31

Right Eyes, {.
Assorted.

.'s.....s.. ..............
The doctor opened the boxes, and
there resting on soft beds of tissue
paper, were hundreds of left and right
eyes. They were Of every shape, size
and color imaginable, and looked
perfectly natural in their upward gaze
The eye was simply conco-convex
shell, and the doctor explained that the
natural working and turning of the arti-
fetal eye was not due 10 improved
mechanism. but simply to the modern
method of operating on the genuine
eye. Instead of formerly only part
was removed. and the artificial organ
was fitted on the stump, which would
continue to move with the muscles
'Do they ever wear outp'
"Oh, yes, that's the beauty of them
The acidity of the tear of the human
eye will eat up glass. and it makes them
rough and honey-combed like sand
stone. They usually last a year and
cost ten dollars apiece. Many wearers
buy two or three at time to have them
on hand in case of an accident"
Can a person cry just as well with
the artificial eyep"
YES. The trouble is they usually
cry great deal more from the I'M
natural irritation. The artificial eye is
made from bulb of glass having a
slight ovality blown, on the end of a
rod about the size of a pencil. From
the sphere thus blown a segment is
flattened out for the iris and pupil. A
circular patch Of black pigment in the
centre forms the pupil. The painting
Of the iris is done with delicate enamel
colors, and then a bulb of clear crystal
glass is placed over it. The red veins
are traced with fine films of red glass
laid on and fused. Probably over ten
thousand people in this United States
wear artificial eyes,"
DR.. William Siemens devised an arti-
fetal eye which is sensitive to light and
to differences in color, gives signs of
fatigue when subjected to prolonged
action Of light, and regains its strength
after resting with closed lid and. by an
electromagnetic attachment. may be
made to close itself involuntarily at a
vivid flash. Such an eve would be
worth having. 1t is well-known, too,
that the vibrations Of musical tones
may by ordinary conducting wires be
transmitted and delivered to the ear;
and it remains to be seen, says DR.,
Siemens, whether light vibrations may
not be transmitted to the brain in the
absence of the natural eye. ~ y. Mail
and Express.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31
The CHARTER OAK.


Historical Trees to He Found In All Parts
az OF tho World.
On August 20, 1856, was blown down
the famous oak called Charter Oak, a
tree which for many years was the OBJ
ject OF generation, because it was be-
lieyed that it had been the means Of
saving the charter Of the State of Con-
necticut. The Winfarthing Oak in En-
gland, now white and hollow. measur-
ing some seventy feet in circumference
and capable of holding in its cavity not
fewer than thirty persons, was called
the Old Oak as far back as the DAYS Of
William the Conqueror. What is known
as the Salcey Forest Oak, a really pict-
uresque ruin. and the object of many
pilgrimages. is supposed to be 1900
years old. It measures forty-seven feet
round near the ground. and has a cav
ity fourteen feet eight inches, and is
twenty-nine feet in circumference in
side. The Chandos Oak, near South
gate, on the grounds of Michendon
House, is sixty feet high and eighteen
feet three inches in diameter. When in
full foliage it forms q magnificent nat
ural canopy. and has the appearance of
q gigantic tent. In 1888, there fell to
the ground one of the oldest and most
honored trees in England 1t was called
Magdalen Oak, or the Great Oak of
Oxford It was called the Old Oak by
way of distinction when Magdalen was
founded; and it was supposed to have
been sapling when Alfred the Great
founded the university. There was at
one time on Mount Etna a chestnut
tree, which measured 2O4 feet in cir
conference, and in the hollow some
country people contrived to construct
house. in which they lived. There is a
yew tree near Staines, called the Oak
crwyke Yew. which is supposed to be at
least one thousand years old. 1t was at
this tree Henry VIII. was in the habit
of meeting Anne Boleyn, while she was
residing at Staines. and within sight of
it YVES signed England's great charter.
1t measured twenty-seven feet eight
inches. Remarkable trees are to be
found in all the old countries They
are numerous in France, Italy, Spain.
Germany and Austria At the site of
HeliopOlis, about seven or eight miles
from Cairo. Egypt the traveller is
shown tree, still in life, but dreadfully
hacked with the knives of strangers.
where, according to tradition. Joseph
and Mary and the infant Jesus found
temporary resting place. Our own We'll
lingtonias, $50 feet high. sixty feet in
circumference, date back as far, per-
haps. as the days when. as DIR. Lindley
puts it. Samson was staying his Philis-
tines Time would fail, also to tell OF
the famous forests and parks and ave-
nues which have commanded the admi-
ration.of many generations = Brooklyn
E00le
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31

--Cahforu'a Is to publish her own
sch ~ books She thinks that those
publshsd py private enterprise are too
expsnsivs.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31

The total number of self.support-
ing women and girls over ten years Of
ege. IN New York II 9,647,151--M y
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-31

Late inventions-A thunder-rod for
people who are liable to be thunder
struck on receiving unexpected intelli-
gence; grindstone for people who are
in the habit Of grinding their teeth"
when they are in anger, a device for
grnbbing people who are suddenly
'r,oted to the spot" patent air ship
for restoring people TO their homes who
are carried away by an excess OF
emotion" transported with delight. I"
etc., . restorative for people 'pstr' fed
with ACCOMPLISHMENT ~ Bostpm Courier.
"A barrel Of fiour require, on q ~
seaGe four and ons-hali bvshels Of