Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-08-20

/
Paul instead of Deuteronomy. il makes
me blush for the profession.
The last ten years may be protitably
devoted to the acquisition of practical
knowledge of cutting eordword, baking
beans. making shirts. lecturing turning
double handsprings, being shot ont OF a
catapult at q circus, learning how to
make good adhesive paste that will
not sour 10 hot weather, grinding
scissors, punctuation. capitalization, con-
domination, syntax. plain sewing, music
and dancing, scuiping. etiquette, pro-
sody. how TO win the affections of the
opposite sex and evade a malignant
case of breach of promise, the ten CON-
msndments. every man his own tooter
on the flute, croquet, rules. of the prize
ring, rhetoric, parlor magic. cslisthenics.
| penmanship, how to turn Jack from
the bottom OF the pack without getting
shot. civil engineering, decorative art.
kalsomining, bicycling, base ball. hy-
draulics. botany. poker, international
law, high low-Jack. drawing and paint
ing, faro. vocal music, driving breaking
team, tifteen-ball pool, how to remove
grease spots from last years pantaloons,
horsemanship, coupling freight cars,
riding on rail. riding on pass feed
ing threshing machines. how to wean a
| calf from the parent stem. teaching
school, bull whacking plastarinq. waltz.
inc. vaccination. autopsy. how 10 win
the affections of your wife's mother.
every man his own washerwoman. or
how TO wash underclothes so that they
viii not shrink. etc., etc. etc
But time forbids anything like. thor
ongh list OF what Young man should
study in order to fully understand all
that he may he called upon to express
an opinion about his actual experience
as journalist. There are a thousand
little matters which every editor shonld
know. such. for instance. as the con
s'ruction Of roller ccmposition Many
newspaper men can write good editor
ial on Asiastic cholera. but their roller
composition is not fit to cat
With the course of study that | have
mapped out. the young student would
emerg" from the college of journalism
at the age 80 or 90, ready TO take off his
coat and write an article on almost any
subject. He would he little giddy at
first and the office boy wonld have TO
see that he went TO bed at a proper
hour each night, hnt aside from that
he would be a good man tn feed the
waste paper basket
Actual experience is the best teacher
in this peculiarly irving profession. |
hepe some dav to attend press CON
vention whore the order ef the exercises
will consist of flve minnie experiences
from each one present 1t would be
worth listening to
My own experience was little pecu-
liar. II was nv intention at first TO
practice law. when | went TO the Rocky
Mountains. although had been warned
by the authorities not tn do go. Still. I
did practice in surreptitious kind Of a
way ,nd might have been praciicinp
yet if my client hadn't died When
you have become attached to q client
and respect and like him. and then
when without warming like n bolt of
electricity from a clear .kv. he sudden
" dies and takes the bread RIGHT ont of
your mouth, it is rough.
Then ] tried the practice of criminal
law, but my client got into the peniten-
tlary where he was no use to me tinan-
cially or politically. Finally, when the
Judge was in hurry, he would appoint
me 10 defend the paupel criminals
they all went to the penitentiary, until
people got to criticsng the judge, and
finally they told him it was shame
TO appoint me to defend an Innocent
man.
My first experience in journalism was
in Western town in which | was to-
tai ct ra / . 1.
five cents. but had it concealed in the
lining Of my clothes SO that no one
would have suspected it if.they ha, met
me. | had no friends. and [ noticed
that when got off the train the band
was not there To meet me. | entered
the town just as any other American
citizen would. had not fully decided
whether TO become stage-robber or
lecture on phrenology. At that time
got Il chance to work on morning pa
per. 1t used to go to press before dark
so | always had my evenings to myself.
and liked that part of it first rate. |
worked on that paper year and might
have continued if the proprietors had
not changed it it TO an evening paper.
Then company Incorporated itself
and started paper ot which | took
charge. The paper was published in
the loft OF livery stable. That is the
reason they called it stock company.
GU could come up the stairs into the
Office or you could twist the tail of the
iron grey mule aud take the elevator.
Itwasn't much OF paper, but it cost
$4,000 = year to run il and it came out
six days in the week no matter what the
naf W. 81, A
Press news by telegraph part of the
time, and part of the time we relied on
a copy of the Cheyenne morning papers
which we got of the conductor on the
early freight. We got great many
special kilograms from Washington in
that way. and when the freight train GOT
10 late had to guess at what congress
was doing and fix up column of tele-
graph the best | could. There was a
rival evening paper there and sometimes
1t would send smart boy down TO the
train and get hold of our special tele-
grams, and sometimes the conductor
would go away on picnic and take our
Cheyenne paper with him.
All these things are ANNOYING t, a
man who IS trying TO supply loug felt
want. There was one conductor in par
| ticular who used to 90 away int, the
foothills shooting sage hens and take
our cablegrams with him. Icould guess
what congress was doing and make up
pretty readable report, but foreign
powers and reichstags and crowned
heads and dynasties ALWAYS mixed me
up. You can look over what congress
did last year and give pretty good
guess at what it will do this wear. bnt
you can't rely on dynasty or An eilrte
monarchy in bad state of preservation.
1t may 60 into into executive session or
it may go into bankruptcy.
Still, at one time we used TO have con-
siderable local news to fill up with. The
north and middle Parks used to help us
out when the mining camps were new.
Those were the days when 1T was consid-
cred perfectly proper to kill off tue
board of supervisor, II their action was
distastefu. A. that time new camp
generally located n cemstary and wrote
an obituary, then the boys would star,
out to find man whose name would
rhyme with the rest Of the verse. Those
were the days when The cemeteries of
Colorado were still in their infancy and
the song Of The six shooter WAS heard in
the land.
Som, times the Indians would send us
in an item. It was ni.,st generally in
the obituary line. With the Sioux on
the. north and the peaceful Uiss 81, th..