Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1885-01-03
WIT n HUNIOR,

York Journal.
Holland is increasing its number of
wind-mills by w per day. 1t will be
a great place if the wind holds out
New Orleans Hcayunc.
Holland has 10000 windmills. Du-
ring a presidential campaign America
a see Holland and 20 her about
$4,000 windmills better.
We don't know why the god Of mar
riage is called Hymen, Julia, unless it
is because the groom is generally a
very short man after his marriage.
New York society is preparing for
another war between the rich families
whose fathers began life Ms peddlcrs,
and those whose grandfathers did
Philadelphia Call.
Dramatic views: "Your son is an
actor. You say, Mr.. Maginnis2" Faith
he is" Where does he act?" down
he playP' Rolls, is it! Faith, he
rolls up the curtain. "-Rambler.
''Why did you strike that boy, my
son?' asked a father. cause he said
l stole his top And you struck him
to prove to him that you did not take
it, eh?' mo, sir, cause I did take it,
but l can whip any boy that says so. ~
Arkansaw Traveller.
A fathcr-in-law at a wedding at
tempted to chat the groom: II hope
now, sir, that You will not get into any
more scrapes.' NO." said the new
son-in-law, II shall not have a chance;
| shall never get out of this one.'-
Providence News.
Terrified City Milkman (flling his
can at the pump)-"Great Scott!
What's thatp Mary bring the gun
quick, there's a wild beast in the yard"
Mary (who was onc in the country
why, you old fool, that's q coww
I. c. Milkman-"You don't say So"
Puck.
Say, ma, I seen q nigger put seven
eggs in his mouth all at once" said
Johnny Quarle as he came in from his
supper. ''Humph, that's nothing; your
father put that butcher shop and q
horse and wagon into his" tartlv re-
piled Mrs. Quarle. Whisky was the
%ruination of the old man.
There is a tendency to refine on
phrases that convey to the mindrepug-
nant ideas Hence our friends don't
die; 'they have entered into rest" In
asmuch as the condition of the depart
ed is somewhat problematical. how
would it be to substitute the following:
Withdrawn from circulation .'-Bos-
ton Post.
"How much did Mr.. Smith give you
at his wedding?' asked u minister's
wife of her husband. Two dollars"
well. that's a very insignificant sum
for a rich man like Mr.. Smith to pay
for such a service" at does seem d
small amount" he replied. ''hut you
must remember that he has been mar
ricd before. '-NeW Y0rh: Sun.
A mother in New York City whose
little son had fallen from the roof OF
her dwelling and caught on a telegraph
wire. whence he was rescued by n dar.
ing descent of another lad upon IL fire
escape. spanked her son and gave his
re,cuer 10 cents. Whatever may be
said of the latter act, the former show
ed wisdom beyond that of the present
age.
A sharp trick was played upon {
Lambertville citizen a few days ago
He gave a tramp a pair of old panta
looms and was surprised shortly after
wards by a chap returning and giving
him a five dollar note, which he said he
had found in one OF the pockets. Sc
pleased was the citizen with the tramp.
honesty that he presented him with {
silver dollar. but imagine his rage upor
discovering shortly afterwards that the
bill was counterfeit. -Irenton Iru.
american.
Two middle-aged women, who hat
not see each other for years. met the
other day in City-Hall Park. and en-
braced e%tfusively. After they had 70.
covered their breath one asked: ..Are
you married?' ''Oh, yes, and have
five children-my husband is q brick
carrier in West Twcnty-third street
"Are you marricd?" YES, indeed.
"And your husband?" "He is a brick
carrier, too Where does he carryp'
''1n his hat"
A tramp applied to an Elizabeth, On
~ woman for food one day last week
and she scoldcd him saying: '..Wh,
don't you ONE at a decent time-righ
after dinner or breakfast-not in tn
middle of the morning?" He said: -
hain't got no watch,' in such a piteou
manner, that she relentcd and went t
the kitchen to get him something
Meanwhile her reproof sunk deep int
his heart, and, to guard against max
ing such a mistake in the future. h
walked into the parlor and carried Of
the handsome mantel clock.
Excuse me, madam" said a gentle
man politely to a lady from whose hea'
he had accidently pulled a false switcl
in a crowded ear. 1--WE seen enough
of you to convince me that you are n
gentleman" exclaimed the confused
woman "And l." returned the suav
man, handing back the lost switch
"haye seen enough of you to convinc
me that you are no gentleman either
pat, have you any prairies in Ire
land like VIC have in Illinois, ITO b
shure we have. Didn't yez liver hear o
Tipperary?'- Yonkers Statesman.
A prominent lawyer now practicin,
in this city tells the following IAN oil
darkey was under indictment for som
trivial offence and was without coun
sci. The Judge appointed me to de
fend him. was young and very fresl
at the time, and it was my first case il
court As l went forward to consul
with my client he turned to the Judg
and said: 'Yo' Honah, am dis de law
yer what am appointed to offend me?
Yes was the reply. WELL salt
the old darkey, take him away, ledge
I pleads guilty.'"-M Y. World.
A little fellow was climbing an appl