The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-02-27
SOME MOSQUITOES.
A Florid Description Of One Of the Pest
of New Orleans.

a FIOrfQ O08cf1pbAO0 Oh On0 Oh the fe0l1
of New Orleans.
Parson Hickman, Dallas clergy
man. who enjoys the reputation of be-
ing somewhat florid in his language.
has returned from q brief trip to New
Orleans.
allow did you enjoy yourself at the
New Orleans Exposition" asked
George Stecketee.
1.-The Exposition is grand. Every
body ought to go aid see it. 1 liked II
very much. The saloons are superb.
and the eating is the best 1 ever had. ]
just lived on gumbo soup while I was
there, but there is one drawback"
..What is thatp'
1.-The mosquitoesP They are the
worst ever saw. You get into all
kinds of trouble until you get used to
them. They even stop the street cars, "
replied Parson Hickman.
'Now look here. That is coming it
just little too strong. I've heard of
grasshoppers being SO numerous as to
stop railroad trains, but draw the line
at grasshoppers. Nobody. not even
if he is a clergyman, can make me be-
lieve that mosquitoes can stop the street
cars
They do it all the same. You see
the mosquitoes attack people on the
streets. The pedestrians, of course. are
compelled to defend themselves. They
strike at the mosquitoes with their
hands or try to shooh them away with
handkerchiefs, or they would be eaten
up. The people on the sidewalks are
kept so busy with their handkerchiefs
and making motions with their hands,
that the drivers are deceived, and stop
the cars every few yards, thinking that
the people on the sidewalks are hailing
the cars to get on board. A conductor
is bounced if he doesn't stop car as
soon as he is signalled. 1t took car
/ was in. half an hour to make one
block. Most of the passengers got out
and walked. That's the way the mos
quitOes stop the cars. Of course, l
didn't mean that the mosquitoes lifted
the cars off the track"
swell, that's something new to me. ="
THAT'S nothing. You know Henry
Tours. He was in New Orleans when l
was there. He got himself into peck
of trouble on account of the mosquitoes.
He was in the hands of doctor for
three days, and he walks on crutches
yet. You know what lady's man he
is. and how polite he is to the fair sex?
Well, the very day he got there lady
on the street waved her handkerchief
across the street. Henry Immediately
went up and began to converse. She
hit him lively whack on'the bridge of
his nose with her parasol and. screamed.
Her husband came out of cigar store
where he had been getting cigar and
falling npon Henry, nearly telescoped
him with his fist and boot. The lady
was only shaking her handkerchief to
keep off the mosquitoes. Tours was
not thinking about the mosquitoes at
the time. Almost every day some
prominent visitor from the North is
taken to the morgue on shutter, all
owing to the mosquitoes. There are
several of them. l tell you they are so
quick that man with seventeen hands
could not keep them off,"
'.Parson, don't you exaggerate lit
tle?"
mo, sir, not bit. l should say
there were billions of them to the cubic
inch. When l first got to New Or
leans, imagined that some very excit-
ing news had just been received. | saw
groups of men who appeared to be Ia
boring under most terrible excitement.
They were gesticulating in most ex-
travagant manner as if they were on
opposite sides in politics. l never saw
such eloquence either on the stage or
in the pulpit They were really all on
the most friendly terms in the world,
and were merely frightening off the
mosquitoes.
'.Do they bite severely"
"They are very ravenous, indeed. In
fact they bleed stranger more than
the hotel and clearinghouse keepers
do"
"Can nothing be done to abate the
Every remedy has been tried, but
in vain. l heard before l left New Or
leans that the city authorities were
training pelicans to catch them, but 1
don't know how that will work. l saw
some of the pelicans myself" said
Parson Hickman.
"Parson, if you make one more trip
to New Orleans. people will believe
you are connected with the press. =
1eras Sittings.
NO SHOW FOR HIM.