Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-06
PHILADELPHIA, THE GOLDEN"
Adventures of a Weary Stranger Who
Came Here and Made a Pun.

from LSfs.
By failure OF a train connection weary
Stranger was, once upon q time, thrown for
several hours upon the barren shores of that
solemn Quaker city, Philadelphia.
And so the Stranger paced the torrid and
grass grown streets. while his footsteps echoed
through the wful silence, and the wood
chucks and squirrels peered at him from the
lalra, blinking In surprise at such an usual
sight and sound.
In the course Of time the Stranger fell in
with policeman, and was arresUed for max
ing 50 much noise with his feet. A the sta
tlon house h" was Obliged TO swear as 10 the
length OF his pedigree, IS no one not able to
trace his ancestry without break for eighty
generations Is allowed within the city lmlts:
He was obliged to take an oath that he would
wear carpet clippers or "rubbers,' ana on no
account laugh aloud or attempt TO give any
public or private entertainment or amuse-
ment. He was then allowed TO depart and ia
rather daZed manner proceeded TO search
for an old college friend,
At last. having found the right house, he
swung the pOnderous iron knocser, anc IN
course of time startled-lOoklng servant
opened the door as far as a chain bolt would
permit, took the prOffered card and dlsap-
peared. leaving the do T ajar.
Soon the Stranger heard voice call IN
stage whisper from the head of the stairs:
John, where art thoug'
"HePe, back piazza"
what art thou DOING"
"Perspirin'."
IneFe is q man at the door TO see LueBs
mo"
Ellis name rs Mr.. -. Don't thou sup
pose his pedigree is as it should beF
80. dear, yes; we were at college together,
and he Just saved me from being at the foot OF
the class "
And as the Stranger was shown in, and the
Friend proceeded to eXalain to him that all
the surrounding mysterious stagnatlon and
silence was caused bv the simple act that
when the soul Of man had passed through the
various stages of publication and became per
tected It takes up Its abode for time IN the
sacred city of Philadelphia, and ali the iuhab-
ltants thereof are therefore what might be
termed Buddhist Conservatives, who pass
their entire time in striving to grasp through
silence and contamination the secret of the
Nlrvana or essence OF Philadelphia.
just then prlm, middle aged lady entered
and was introduced by the Friend az
his aunt lilly"
The Stranger expressed his delight at meet
ing Aunt lilly by saying that hr had always
supposed the Q zen Of the Antilles TO be an
island in the West Indies. and he was over
jOyed to find himself mistaken.
Aunt lilly did not "catch on" for some
little time, but at last when she did see the
point they had to ring for an ambulance, and
the Stranger was at the same time handed
over 10 the police, who ordered him, ss pun
ishment for the heinous crime OF making
pun, to leave the city at once.
And SO. shaking the dust and the rubbers OF
the city from his feet, the Stranger boarded
the first train that WIS leaving. There was
but one other passenger in the Strangers car,
He was a pale, weird, sad-eyed man, with d
faint halo about MS head.
In the course of the journey the Stranger
fell into conversation with the weird man,
and at last asked him IL he was a Philadel
phian. 'Oh. no. answered the weird one,
Il have no home, but in my moments Of
leisure | ALWAYS run on TO Philadelphia, as 1t
is the only place that is congenial and where
| feel happy and at home" And then he
added after a pause; Il am ISRAELI, the
Angel of Death"