The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1885-09-25
A QUEER STORY.
From the London Truth.

ly 1t not quite, the richest commoner IN
England. Hewas about 35 years of age,
tall and slight, with a pale interesting
face and faded yellow mustache. His
vices were comparatively few and of
gentlemanly description, His near re-
lations consisted of couple of married
sisters. He had no entanglements and
was not gambler. Needless to say,
therefore, that he was acknowledged by
common consent to be the most eligible
parti in London. But, though by no
means impervious to the charms of the
fair sex, Byng was terribly difficult to
please. The loveliest young debu-
tantes and the most astute mothers had
for years angled unseccessfully for the
glittering prize. But each recurring
season brought with it some fresher
beauty or some more confident mamma,
and hence the hunting of Byng went
merrily on.
He liked to talk to women about pict-
ures, about poetry, love, transcenden-
tai philosophy and matters generally
mystical and ethereal. He found them
so much more tolerant than men, and
SO much less apt to detect his utter and
ghastly ignorance of nearly every sub
ject upon which he conversed. Men, in
fact, considered Byng an affected min
compoop, and only endured him for the
sake of his wealth.
"Why the deuce don't you marry, Adj
derley?" remarked Captain Tom Car
bury one day.
Tom Carbury was Byng's man-of-all
work and devouted adherent. He had
lived upon him for some years, and it
was only when hts eccentricity and yam
ity became utterly wearisome to the
practical henchman that he limited at
matrimony. Carbury, moreover, did
not see why he should not make a pret-
ty good thing out of his patrons mar
riage by iudicious arrangement with
the BRIDES family.
"My dear Tom," answered the tran
scendentalist, "where can find wom-
an with kindred spirit; with a soul
above the common things of earth; one
who can really sympathize with my
own idiosyncrasy?"
Blessed if I know" answered the
Captain, terribly puzzled by his patrons
words; ''but, if were in your shoes, I
should get rather sick of being hunted
about by all the old dowagers of Lon
don and ogled by every girl who comes
out. I should marry one of them just
to spite the rest
II certainly cannot marry them all, +"
mused Byng, languidly. "Well, Car
bury, I'll think about it."
The Captain also determined to think
is over, for, as stated, he was getting a
little tired of his position. He was a
thick-set, bull-necked man two or
three and forty, very fond of good liv-
itg, and devoted to London and Paris.
Byng, on the other hand, professed to
,despise frivolous amusemenos, live like
an anchorite for months together, and
was in the habit of occasionally rushing
off to wild and uncivilized parts of the
globe, where the unfortunate Captain
was forced to submit to very unwelcomc
priv.tions. A journey through Tartary
had brought the Captain to the verge
ofrebellion, and though he did not like
the idea of quarreling with his bread
and butter, he felt that he could mot
endure many more such terrible expari-
ences, SO he began to look about him
for "a helpmate suitable to the errant
philosopher.
His difficulty naturally lay in the
abundance of material from which he
had to make the selection. After ma
ture consideration, however, he decided
in favor of certain Miss Constance
Laxington. She was exceedingly pref
ty, it was her first season, and her only
near relative was her father, a gem
tleman whose pedigree was much long
er than his rent-role. Beside, Mr..
Laxington, as the Captain knew, was
by no means overburdened with cash,
and was not likely to have any hesita.
tion in arranging some little scheme by
which Carbury might share in the ad-
vantages Miss Laxington would derive
from brilliant marriage.
"What deuced pretty girl your
daughter is! said the Captain one even
ing % that young lady's father, as they
sat in the smoking-room of the Lawn
Club,
"Think so?" inquired the other, who
knew that Carbury was not likely to
make such a remark out of pure good
nature.
might marry any one," continued
the Captain thoughtfully.
Iaxington began to prick up his ears,
and said, "Yes, I think she ought to
do we'll"
After little more preliminary fenc-
ing, Carbury began to approach the
point.
"She doesn't know Byng does she p"
"No, and I shouldn't think it much
use If she did. He's not a marrying
.uan, is he?"
"WelI, I don't quite understand what
constitutes marrying man." reioined
the cautious Captain; but these things