Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-03
CRAWLING, MICHIGAN, THURSDAY Y, SEPTEMBER 3 1887 !.

tunity, go with hin to picnic and
watch him eat. The bottled-up in
stincts of thousand generations Of life
in cave and forest break out in him
then, and for the time the polish OF
education is observed. He don't care O
fly for appearances, and has no use for
knife and fork He dives in
with both hands, and keeps his
mouth too full TO talk until
everything in reach has disappeared.
and then he begins to forage on ada
cent territory, and steals pie from the
near-siglted woman at his elbow. III
my gifts were of the kind that find ex-
preston in marble, and / wanted to
picture famine in perm auent form. i
would sculp the sclemn-faced man as
he looked with roast chicken in one
hand, little of everything else in
the other, and good deal OF
miscellaneous nutriment piled up
in front OF him, as he sat with a
stony stare straight ahead, and jaws
going it like quartz-erusher in busy
season. The picture will long occupy
well-lighted nook in memory as about
the most energetic tableau of earnest
ness ever stumbled against. 1 very
much doubt whether the sad-eyed man
would have quit eating chicken at that
minute to listen to good preaching.
The red haired man was also busy,
but his face contained rather too much
of sunlight to make him available for
allegorical purposes of a dreadful
character. Though he probably man
aged to conceal from view more prov
ender than any one else in the party,
there was nothing so very depressing
in the sight of him as he did it. He
looked as if he enjoyed the feast, and
didn't act as though he was doing it on
bet, but managed somehow to keep
his conversational works and laughing
machinery going at the same time his
masticaling apparatus was in most
hurried operation. If you want to
have good time at picnic, you will
miss it if you don't take a sorrel-top
along.
A woman is always a woman, but
more especially 80 at q picnic dinner.
In the unequal race of life the fragile
creature may not be able to hold
| llCI OWn dO ul1 llillCo, OuO ohO
does it at meal time, no matter where
she is or who is present. [. don't
mean to say that she gets her full
share of the eatables, in the strict sense
of the word, but she maintains the
characteristics of her sex, and never
for one instant forgets that she is
dressed in petticoats. When a man
| gets beyond the restraints of draw
! ing-room he ceases to be q human
being, and gnaws bone with as much
delight as jackal; but on the other
side of the house it is different. A
woman never forgets that she has a
tongue that can gallop unbridled
wherever it will. Instead of grabbing
everything that comes handy, and put
ting it out of sight as soon as possible,
without any regard to whether her face
is frescoed with Jelly, her nose bios
somlng with 1uIn, or ffor checks glow
ing through butter, she minces NOR
sell of this, breaks OF a piece of that,
takes mere taste of the other, and
tries just the smallest fragment OF
something else, saying all the while
how dreadfully soggy her own cake is,
as she knew it would be, and told
Henry so dozen times before they star
ed, and how deliciously good everybody
else's provender is, and what shame
it is she should have spoiled the feast
by bringing lot of trash nobody will
eat; but then she might have known
it, for she never did have any luck
with this, that, or the other when she
was hurried.
And so it goes. Every woman runs
down her own truck as the vilest of the
vile, and lauds that of everybody else
to the highest pinnacle OF perfection.
And did anybody ever see such heaven
ly this, or such ecstatic that, and for
mercy's sake did anybody ever sec any
thing so grand as something else, and
how in this world was it ever made-so
splendid every way; do tell, Mrs. Top
notch, for goodness cake? And
pshawl you don't say that's exactly
the way she made 1t herself; but did
anybody ever see such scandalous
difference? And while all the fem.
mime tongues are rattling in their
strategic effort, to pull in compliments,
the men eat up everything in sight ex.
cept the custard pie Claybank's baby
fell into face down, and every woman
on the ground goes home hungry that
night, and one of these days will most
likely tell somebody in confidence there
wasn't q thing fit to eat except what
she took herself, and of course that
was eaten up at once by those wretched
men before she could get taste.- Chi.
cdgo Ledger.