Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-12

HoUsEKEEPBR-''No; we do not know any
new recipe for cooking hrains. Y might try
heaping caals OF fire on his head ."--PhiLddeL-
phia CGH.
FATHER" said the young man, shaking his
head mournfully, chad an iron will" You
ought TO KNOW" replied his lawyer, you
forged 1t yourself. "-Br00kIyn Eagle.
1T has been decided by a st. Louis Judge
that three chrOmos, a bust of Lon fellow. and
an oil painting worth 81 may legally consti-
tute an "art parlor. "-Detro1 Free Press
A FASHIONABLE young lady was seen black
ing her brothers boots the other morning, and
the next day she helped do the family wash
ing. 1t is thought she is fitting herself to be-
come the wife OF an Italian count.-Pucb.
YES" SAID the widow Smith, as she how
cred DER the dying embers upon the cold,
cold hearth, Il have one comfort left L
know where poor John is these bitter cold
nights, and 1 know, too, that he is where it is
nice and warm. "-HansaS Cftv Times.
"WHY are they called pyramids, paY' asked
George, who was looking ut picture OF those
wonders of Egypt. "They are called pyra-
mids, my son." replied his father, without
hesitating, because, you see, they appear
amid the general desOatiOn Of the desert" -
Boston Transcript.
"DoN'T you think Miss Pink is pretty girl?'
asked EOgg. mo, I'm sure | don't" replied
Mrs. F., with some asperity. "Why, my
dear. returned Fogg, 81 consider her an
ideal beauty" Mrs. F.-"Do YOU? That's
because she has no real beauty about her. I
suppose. "-BOstos Transcript.
A GREAT scHEstE.-''Pve hit upon a great
scheme" saio a Western editor; II nearly
doubled our circulation Yesterday" How
did you work it2' ''See that steel stamp Well,
l inst cut out paragraph in the local column
OF the whole edition." "HOw did that help the
circulationf" Every woman in town bought
an extra copy"
WELL" said the driver of a coal cart to
haul
and I've lost my job"
"Why, what was the tr0ubleg" she asked.
II WAS sitting on my cart while the load
was being weighed" he exclaimed, ''when the
boss came out and said my services would be
no longer required
"But there must have been some reason for
your discharged"
"There was. The new man weighs seventy
five more pounds than l do."-Ne1o York
Times.
"How are times down in the country,
uncle2" asked a white man Of an old negro.
"PorelY, sah, porely."
Nv hat is the causeP'
TITS de comm in o. desc Yankees, sahn
"How did they cause hard times?''
sahY
"Why did that make any dIfFerence9"
Whit? Why did dat make any differenceP
CopfOuR 'em, sab. da tore down de log houses
an built brick ones IN dar place. Da needn't
be so particular. Nobody want gwine ter
THRY Do Nor SPEAK
He came TO see his Liza sweet
And looked both neat and trim;
He took the sofa for a seat
And carromed on pin.
Now when they meet upon the street,
1t Is not as OF old;
Each looks down at she others feet
The days are very cOld.-Lynn Union.
THE delights Of early rising
OFT are sung;
Every poet seems to have them
On his tongue.
still I've noticed, and you know I've
Often said,
Poets like, as well as you or ], to
Lie abed.
This induces the reflection,
BY the way,
That poets 90 not always mean Just
What they say.
Their enthusiasm oft is
But "a hoax,
And their prettiest maxims just apply to
Other fOlks.--SoperUiIle Journal