Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1885-02-21
A SCARED FRENCHMAN.
John Constantine Skips the Town
and Won't Come Back.

John Constantine Skips the Town
and Won't Come Back.
A small, stub-and-twist three-auarter
Frenchman named John Constantine,
who has been doing carpenter work in
this city for the past two years, left for
parts unknown last Sunday morning
under the shadow of large-sized cloud.
In morality it seems that John was not
one of the rarest mortals extant, and as
a monumental liar he is said to be an
eighteen carat gem. The cause of john g
sudden disappearance is reported to be
his overweaning fondness for the wife OF
we'll known citizen. 1t is not believed
that his affections were reciprocated. but
by his oily speech and Munchausen
yarns, he led the woman, who is young
and inexperienced, into situations cal
culated to compromise her, and the con-
summation of the worst feature that
usually accompanies such transactions
seems to have been checked bv the hus-
band of the young woman falling upon
the gay Lothario and closing one of his
organs of vision. John also lost several
quarter sections of the hide that covers
the area of his somewhat comely fea-
lures, and was otherwise laid up for re-
pairs, one of his thumbs being terribly
lacerated by the outraged husband g
teeth.
1t Is furthermore related that John has
seduced young girl residing somewhere
In the country hereabouts, and his exist
ence in this city was about to become
extremely miserable on that account. 1t
is said that of late he has had visions OF
shot guns and sheriffs, and one night re-
Gently he awoke to find himself sitting,
en- dishabille, astride the icy roof of his
lodgings, where he had been taken un-
der the influence Of a nightmare that had
kindly assisted him to escape from Jail.
On another occasion the evil spirit that
seemed to be in constant pursuit chased
him off high bridge, and he fell head
long down, down, down, to the bottom
OF an abyss. When he awoke it was only
dream, and he felt happier than did
another individual who last summer fell
into what he supposed to be deep well
in the burnt district, but was fortunate
enough to hold on to the top, his body
depending in tho hole. This holding on
process soon became tirosome, and
finally uncomfortable; he saw that he must
let go, as his fingers were cramping and
the loose dirt was crumbling beneath his
palms. Bidding good bye to his mother
and asking forgiveness for his sins, he
closed his eyes and relaxed his grasp
He supposed the well was forty feet deep
with ten feet Of water but in this he was
mistaken-he fell just four inches. 1t
wasn't we'll and there was no water in
it. He didn't take another drink for six
weeks.
John also discovered that the way Of the
transgressor is hard, but he didn't mend
his ways, and last Saturday evening the
spcctres that had BEEN coming to him il,
his dreams boldly attacked him when he
was awake. The startling report came
| to his ears that he would soon be denied
the freedom of the city; that the persons
his dissollte and shameful conduct were
about to effect his arrest. Hastily clos
ing up his affairs, and not forgetting to
compromise some Of the bills owing him
for work for which he had charged two
or three prices, he skipped the town
early Sunday morning, telling his attor.
ney that he would never return. From
reports that come to us from some of his
victims his absence will be conducive to
his good health.
John has wife at Milnor, in this Ter
ritory, whom it Is said he deserted. a
few months ago he tried to get divorce
from her, but failed.