Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-12-03
SOME DONTS FOR HUSBANDS.
Invaluable Advice for Seekers After
Domestic Happiness.
Chicago Herald.

hanA pTOulpL1y at your meals. our
wife will keep your supper as warm
as toast In the oven for you. She en-
joys your hardness. Don't hurry.
Its vulgar to hurry.
Don't begin to eat your breakfast as
soon as you sit down to the table.
Bury yourself In the mornings paper
first for about fifteen minutes: then
your breakfast will be nice and cold
and less liable to give you the dys-
pepsla. Your wife enjoys eating hers
In silence and then watching you bolt
yours. It increases feminine anna
bility.
Don't hesitate to remark on the
thinness of the coffee and the tough
ness OF the steak. Remarks on the
dement's of the food are encouraging
to young housekeepers, and an &C
colnpiished cook may thereby be
made of an inexperienced and amiable
wife.
Doa't hang up the towel when you
have finished using it. Toss it light
~ to the top of a picture frame or on
TO the headboa1d of the bedstead.
Your wife expects to put it in the
clothes hamper, anyway, and by the
time she has walked few yards on
The bed-springs, or joyfully rescued 1t
from the picture, she will be pleas
antly reminded of the hamper and Of
YOU!
Don't forget to kick up a row if
your buttons are not all on and your
underwear in perfect order.
Don't spare any pains to encourage
! q re Of
Mani exertions in this direction have
been known to transform a light
hearted girl into an incona parable
housekeeper.
Don't allow the presence of COM
pany To Interfere with your apprecia-
ton of your wife's perfection Ia house
keeping. If you see dust on the man
tlepiece, wipe it carefully away with
your pOcket-handkerchief. You will
at once inspire your friends with ad-
miration for your thoroughness.
Don't be tied-mouthed about affairs
in your home. If the cook puts too
much butter on the steak, call her ia
at once and repri mand her in stem
torian tones. You support the house
and 1t Is your privilege. Don't forget
budt YOU dIS bu0 CdpbdIu.
Don't feel any hesitancy in inauir-
ing of your wife what she did with
the 50 you gave her four weeks ago.
CarelessneSs in mOmentary matters
has been known to engender extrava-
gance Of q very serious nature in
women. Never forget the old saying
that "a woman can throw out of the
back window with spoon more than
man can pitch into the front door
with a shovel" and ''Willful waste
breeds woeful want"
Don't contract a habit Of telling
your wife where you go when you are
out nights. The female is very sus
ceptible, and what she don't know
won't trouble her.
Don't fail to break up few articles
Of furniture the first time she reads
one of your letters or looks in your
pockets. The exercise may not be
agreeable, but the impression you
make may do you good turn in the
future, as she is liable to find some
thing she would not approve of.
Don't trouble yourself to look very
thoroughly fer anything you can't
find, because you might find it and
thus interfere with her prerogative.
Don't refuse an invitation to the
theatre on your wife's account. Don't
mind about sending her word, and 60
right from your place of business.
She will conclude by 10 o'clock that
you are not coming any way and if
she sits up and rocks the baby till IL
she will be more glad to see you when
you d. come.
Don't deny yourself the pleasure of
being well dressed at all times. You
are business man, and 1t is your duty.
To be a man among men il is neces-
sa7y that you be well dressed. If
your family love you they will desire
you to look a gentleman at whatever
sacrifice of comforts and necessaries
on their part.
Don't contract the habit of waking
easily. You will be often annoyed
by the children if you do; and when
your wife rises In the morning. to build
the fire she feels as fresh as bird,
and she loves to see you enjoying the
refreshing slumber of an innocent
child. Don't let her know you are
awake.
oOh csl4OW JodA T4iO W AosASAAO
any money in running the house.
Pay all the bills yourself, and then
you know just where ali the money
goes to. Women are not experienced
In monetary matters. They are liable
to pay their lady friends Car fare, aud
they are fond of ribbons. Some are
even addicted to foreign missionaries.
Don't be too much interested in
your wife's ailments. Heads che,
neuralgia, and pains in the back are
common to the feminine constitution.
Tell her so, and in times she may be-
come quite heroic. Sympathy gene
rates hypochondria in many cases.
Always suggest disordefed Gver-it
may have soothing influence.
Don't permit your wife to question
the propriety of your drinking with
your friends. Ask her why does she
drink teal "Tea2" eyes, teal" That
is knock down argument. Tea Will
fetch her.