davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.


1T takes twenty-six large trunks and
hat-box to hold Adelina PATHS traV-
cling wardrobe. -N. Y SIN.
There are 623 newspapers and pc
riodicals published in foreign languages
in this country. Of these 4SS are in
German.
The newspaper business in Texas
must be good. The editor Of the Ln-
ling Wasp offers to pay $4,000 for the
arrest Of the person who stole his hand
axe.
Washington 2. Gregg. the clerk of
the Boston Common Council, has re
signed. Mr. Gregg is eighty-two years
Of age, and he has held his position for
forty-two years. Boston journal.
The following thrilling sentence is
taken from recently-pubIished society
novel; For a whole quarter of an
hour the young man gazed thought
fully in the flame of the extinguished
candle, ,
"A Washington correspondent has
made careful investigation of the wealth
of Senators, and has come to the con-
clusiou that there are not q dozen men
in the Senate who are in any way de-
pendent upon their salaries.
Mrs. John W. Mackey is accus-
toned to receiving begging letters of
various descriptions, bus the funniest
one is a request for any diamonds Or
rubies for which she has no use, the
Deggar desiring them for her daughter 5
trousseau.
Captain j. P. Holm, who died in
Denmark few weeks ago, became
well known to the American public
through his confinement in a Massa-
chusetts insane asylum at the request of
his wife and son. In his will the old
man ignored his family and left $4,000
for free library in Maiden, Mass.
George w. Stainboch, leading
merchant of Nashville, Tenn, was mar
ried recently, and the Cumberland
Club, of which he was u member pre-
pared to give him grand reception.
The reception was an elegant affair,
and attended by the elite of the city,
but the bride and groom to whom it
was given were absent. The executive
coLHullGtce ndu lOl SOtton W lHFlto tIeIH'
Chicago Inter ocean.
"A new man has taken editorial
charge Of the Lockhart (TeX.) Register,
and makes the following unique an
nouncement: Il wish to state that I
have not done this with view Of
amassing colossal fortune, for, having
been engaged in teaching school for
the last sixteen years, have saved 8
pile, most of which have invested in
personal property in the shape of a
one hundred and forty pound Texaness
| have been for long time undecided
whether to become a mule-driver or an
editor, and, having at last made the i'm
portant decision, I shall endeayor to
convince every one that [ would make
good NJ D."
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23
Responsibility of Mothers.

If all mothers understood how much
depends upon their decision in this con-
test of the home and the saloon, they
would speedily enroll themselves on the
right side. One must be a slave, a cow
ard, or hero, in the strife. If slave,
we bear the misery and disgrace such
slavery and appetite brings; if cow
ard, the meanness and imbecility of one
who sneaks from duty; if hero, we
not only climb to a high pace morally,
but hold light of example for others.
Our slavery, our cowardice, our hero
ism bring others to the same depth, or
level, or height, to which we fall or
stray, or climb. 1t is the mission of the
w. G. T. u. to arouse, instruct, en-
courage and help mothers to be heroes.
Esther T. H0uSh.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23
FOR OUR YOUNG READERS.
JoE's WISHES.

L wish was a Hottentot,
On elaa an ESquimau,
For then I'd need no house at all
Or, just g house ofsnow.
Id never have TO wipe my feet,
Or stop to shut the door,
Or even sit up in a chair
When prefer the floor.
It's Joe, look out. You'll knock that vase!
Or, Joe, my boy, take caret
Do put that book up in its place.
And don't tip back your chairi
Do brush your hair and wash your hands,
And stop yoGr whistling, Joe!
Look how you re whiting on the fioorI"
And now I'd like TO know
What is the use Of lots of things?
And so much taking carer
The worlds so big we might as well
Just hang up anywhere.
And, then, there 5 school! 1t makes me sick
TO think what | endure;
For grammar and arithmetic
Will kill me, l am sure.
[ think I'll be q savage man,
And roam about the wood
With this siing-Shot d kill enough
10 keep supplied with food.
Hurrah. l hear the dlnner-bell;
/ smell chickea-Stew.
II wait to be 4 savage-mau
Another day or two.
Mrs. s. H. Walsh
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23
Childhood the Fortress of Humanity

Beyond all others, this is The Chill
dren's Age, and every word written or
act done in their interest is force set
in motion for all mankind. For Child
hood is the fortress of Humanity posted
away out on the frontier of Time, and
if we furnish weapons, ammunition and
military drill, children will ''hold the
fort when the veterans grow weary.
As one of our gifted w. G. I. U. work
ers has said: ''The door Of millennial
glory has child's hand on the latch. )"
By as much as formation is better than
reformation, and prevention than cure,
by so much are we bound to study 1.-The
child in our midst" as the most impress
i've object lesson of the ages,-Frdnces
E. Willard.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23
Army Losses by Intemperance.

The evil of intemperance is exciting
attention in military circles in both
Great Britain and France. According
to the British Medical Journal there was
last year an enormous loss to the
effective force of the army and navy
from intemperance. In the army 400
cases of drunkenness were tried
by court-martial, besides over 4, 900 CON
victions from crime s springing from
excessive drinking. During the year
1904 soldiers, or 102 in every thou
sand were mulcted in their pay for
drunkenness. And in circular issued
to naval Commanders-in-C Chief and mar
thine projects on the subject, the French
Minister of Marine states that ohenses
of drunkenness are increasing to dis
gushing extent, urges that stringent
measures should be taken to check the
growing evil, and suggests patrols and
the prosecution of such proprietors of
drinking shops who may supply liquor
to men already intoxicated.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23
A Horrible Story.

Sometimes it is thought that Temper
ance orators invent thrilling incidents
concerning drunkards, but could any
one imagine anything more horrible
than this: At Stapleton. S. l., on Sun
day last, man was found unable to
move, in hay-loft. While drunk, his
legs were frozen stiff. He was con-
veyed to hospital, but when be arrived
there the doctors pronounced him dead
His body was placed in box to be
taken to the Morgue, but on the way
groans were heard, and it was found be
was yet alive. The jolting of the box
in the wagon had evidently started his
blood little, His lips moved, The
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23

Morgue attendant put his ear close to
the mans mouth, ard heard him whis-
per: "whiSkym A draught was given
him. Befors the liquid was gulped
down. however. his eyes closed again.
Doctors were a second time summoned,
but he was .-Baptist Heebly.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23
HUMOROUS.

A boys school out West has only
two attendants. The humps has re-
Gently swelled that number somewhat.
Powerful steel knives which will
cut cold iron have been invented. They
will be useful in railway restaurants.
Detroit Post.
-"Ah, Miss De Smith, are you going
to have goose at dinner to-day" Eyes,
[ hope so; you'll come, won't you?"
But somehow neither of them felt very
comfortable after that.-IeTas SJtingS.
=" Masther," said little Irish rogue
one day to gardener, 9 are not plants
great sluggards?" "No, certainly not"
replied the gardener. Why, och, I
thowt they were, as it's so rarely you
sees EN- out of their beds. IN Y.
Ledger.
-"Lend me your ear a minute" re-
marked Mrs. Brown to her husband the
other evening, "Will you give it back
to me?" he inquired with mock anxiety.
''Of course 1 will, you idiot! Do you
suppose L want to start tannery?"
She got the earn 7. Graphic.
"A young man entered anillustrated
newspaper office the other day and APP
piled for position. "Can you draw
well?" asked the publisher. mo-"
said the young man. " But if | had the
we'll / could draw water" He didn't
use the elevator going down stairs
W5llialn$port Breakfast Table.
THAT'S a good gun of yours,
stranger" said backwoodsman; ''but
Uncle Dave here has one that beats it. "
''Ah! how far will it kill a hawk with a
charge of No. shot?n Il don't use
shot or ball either" answered Uncle
Dave for himself. "Then what do you
use, Uncle Daye?' II shoot salt alto
gether. 1 kill my game so far with my
gun, that without salt the game would
Spite before l could get it. y
Jones entered his office and sat
down at his desk in a very pronounced
and emphatic manner Whats the
matter?" inquired his partner. ''Some-
thing gone wrongP" "Wrong?" re-
peated the exasperated man. 81
walked the floor with crying baby
from midnight until six o'clock this
morning, and as I left the house the
first person | met was Smith, who said,
with an idiotic smirk: 'Ah! old man,
you look rather tough. Out with the
boys again last night?' Some men
make me sick. ''-DetrOit Post.
There are about as many ways of
pronouncing depot as there are eccen-
trio ways of pronouncing creamery,
''finance," etc. AS road out of the
difficulty we give the following sugges-
ton:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23

Quill pens are again in fashion.
They are well adapted for the large.
angular penmanship now in faye,
among ladies. = Chicago Herald,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23

It is but step-oh
Down to the dep-oh,
The way is quite steep-oh
That leads to the deep.oh.
| slipped on grape-oh
Just by the day-poh,
In store near the dee-pot
l bought this small teapot.
Perhaps, to end the agitation,
We'd better henceforUh call it station,
Lancaster Examiner.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-23

Thomas Van Vain, pensioner of
the war of 1912, died at Syracuse, N.
T., December rs. January u he cele-
brated his 104th birthday, and he was,
consequently, within a few days of be-
ing l05 years old. Mr.. Van Vain was
born in Duchess County, and was the
son of Abel Van Vain. who was acct
dentally killed at the age Of 105 years
His grandfather lived to be 115, and a
brother OF his grandfather lived to the
age of III years. The latter left three
sons, each of whom was also centen-
arian; John Van Vain lived to be 109
years old; Isaac, 10, and Joseph, los.
Syracuse Journal.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

Two weeks later | stood at the other
end of South Carolina, in the thriving
town OF Chester, in another colored
school, supported by Northern funds,
for the higher and industrial education
of colorei youth. Beside me was the
excellent State Superintendent of Pub
lie instruction. We stood in the halls
of q great plantation house and over
looked a broad estate on beautiful
hilltop, nov owned and used for this
end That estate, in 1860, was held by
the largest STAKEHOLDER in Northern
South Carolina, and here is the O4fic nj
of the State bidding Godspeed to the
new work of uplifting to which it Is
consecrated to-day.
If South Carolina is disloyal to the
Union. and if the Southern people are
irving to turn back the march OF
events, these are surely strange ways
for its accomplishment So is it in all
the fifteen States which / have tray
eled, and it will be, more and more in
proportion as you and |, the Northern
people, and the Nation close up with
our brethren and sisters of tho South
land in q union of hearts and hands IN
the great, good, children's cause
From a. D. Mayo'S "Neac Education o.
the South
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31
A Now King on the Throne I

"Malaria," as popular ailment," has
given place to a new poteatate.
II YOU have Rheumatism now, the medi-
cal wiseacres exclaim-" Uric Acid"!
If you have frequent headaches, they
sage!y remark" Uric Acid"!
II you have softening Of the brain, they
insist that it is" Uric Acid"!
IL Sciatica or Neuralgia make life mis-
erablo, it is" Uric Acid"!
If your skin breaks out in Boils and
Pimples, it is" Uric Acid"l
If you have Assesses and piles, "Uric
Acid" has set your blood on fire.
If you have dull, languid feelings, back
ache, kidney or bladder troubles, govt,
gravel, poor blood; are i'll at ease, threat
ened with paralysis or apoplexy, vertigo
are bilious, dropsical constipated or dys-
peptic--" Uric Acid" is the KEY to the stu
alton, the cause of all your difficultiesl
We do not know as madam Malaria will
take kindly to this Masculine Usurper, but
he has evidently come to stay.
"Uric Acid, "-this Monster, is the pro-
duct of the mposition-death-c
stantly taking place within US, and unless
he is every day routed from the system
though the kidneys, by means of some
great blood specific like Warmers safe
cure, which Senator B. X. Bruce says
snatched him from its grasp, there is moi
the least doubt but that it will utterly ruiz
the strongest human constitution!
1t is not young fellow by any means
1t has a long and well-known line of an
cestors. 1t is undoubtedly the father of {
very great family Of diseases, and though
| it may be the fashion to ascribe progeny
to it that are not directly its own, Their,
can be little doubt that fit once gets thor
oughly seated in the human system, i
really does introduce into it most of tn
ailments now, per force Of fashion, attrib
uted to its baleful influence.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31
Professional EtIouette

prevents some doctors from advertising
their skill, but we are bound by no such
conventional rules, and think that if we
make discovery that is of benefit to our
fellows, we ought TO spread the fact to the
whole land. Thereforewe cause to be pub
lshed throughout the land the fact that
DR.. r. Y. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery" is the best known remedy for con-
sumption (scrofula of the lungs) and kim
bred diseases. Send two stamps for DR..
Pierce's complete treatise on consumption,
with unsurpassed means of elf-treatment.
Address. Worlds Dispensary Medical AS
ISOLATION, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31
PERCHERoN HORSES.
Whit the Commissioner of Agricultur
Said of Perchcron Horses.

Said of Perchcron Horses.
Hon. George B. Loring. Commission
er of Agriculture of the United States,
having promised to meet with the Perch
eron Horse Breeders of America, at
Chicago, Nov Is, 1883, telegraphed as
follows; 81 regret exceedingly my in
ability to be with you. Am heartily in
sympathy with your position. Physi-
clan positively forbids my leaving the
house. My disappointment is greater
than yours. The Pcrcherons are recog-
nized as distinct breed in France, and
arc entitled to Stud Book there and in
this country rs much as thoroughbreds,
and as much as any breed of cattle to a
herd book. Their introduction has
greatly improved the farm and draft
horses of this country, and will, I'M
doubtadly, improve the large carriage
and omnibus horses. | think the pub
LEGATION of Stud Book in both countries
will ultimately, in this case as in all
others, add greatly to the future value
of the breed" 1t is gratifying to know
similar sentiments are entertained by
some of the prominent importers, nota-
bly, among them, Mr. NJ. w. Durham
of Wayne, Illinois, who sheying none
but pcdigreed stock, has done more to
ward the introduction Of the finest types
of the breed than, we might almos
say, all other men, having imported
nearly 1000 since 1872.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

THE VoLTAIc BELT Co., OF Marshall, Mich,
offer to send their celebrated ELECTRO Vol.
TAIC BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES
on trial for 80 days, to men young or old
afflicted with nervous debility, loss of vital
ity and all kindred troubles. Also forrheu
matism, neuralgia paraly and many 9th
er diseases. Complete restoration to health
vigor, and manhood guaranteed. No risk in
Cured, as 80 days. trial is allowed. Write
them at once for illustrated pamphlet, free
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

COMPOSED of Smart Weed, Jamaica
Ginger, Camphor Water and best French
Brandy, DIR. Pierce's Extract of Smart
Weed is the best remedy for diarrh@a,
cholera molbus, dysentery or bloody -hux,
collie or cramps, and to break up colds.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

--Caceres' raid in New Mexico, few
months ago, was headed in tina Coar-
ant, of Edinburgh, "The Indians up
rising in the United States" The ac-
count which followed was about as
sensational as the heading.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

Secret, neutrality-suspicious. upon
the system cured in thirty days. Pam
phlet giving particulars. three letter
Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

Pixies TooTHACRE DROPS curein minute, Pc
Glenns Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. 25c
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Corns Bunions
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

JUMBO is said to have eaten bushel of
onions daily. This accounts for his Won
derful strength. N. y. Graphic.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31
CONT AGE0US !!

am native Of England, and while was IN that
country contracted terrible blood poison, and fol-
two years was under treatment outdoor patient
at Nottingham Hospital, England but was not cured
suffered the most agonizing pains in my bones, and
was covered with sores all over my body and limbS.
Finally completely lost all hope that country and
sailed for America and was treated at Roosevelt in
this CITY, as well as by prominent physician in New
York having no connection with the hospitals
saw the advertisement Of Swifts Specific, and
determined to give II trial. took six bottles and
can say with great Joy that they have cured me en-.
tirely. am as sound and well as ever was In my
life. L. FRED HALFORD.
New York CITY, June r. 1885.
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co, Drawer 8, Atlanta, Ga.
n. Y. 157 W. 23d Street.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

A BALLET-girl is somewhat Of philos.
opher; she believes in gGuze and effect
OIL City Derrick.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

1.-THE canny Scot" ought to go into
the fruit canning business Washington
Hdtchet.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31
Men Think

they know all about Mustang Lin
iment. Few do. Not to know is
not to have.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

BRED upon the waters-Reared at sea-
Chicago Tribune.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

IT would improve a blind mans con.
dition If he could take see voy age.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31

BEST, easiest to use and cheapest. Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. By druggists. soc.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1885-10-31
Young Men. Read This.

FLoRICULTURIsTs are stalk raisers and
often have fine phlox.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-10

CERTAIN years of depression, it seems, must follow certain years of prosperity. To America this is particularly applicable. WhyP Give it up. Some people say it is because we over produce'while we are producing, others attribute the entire evil to the influence of our national banking system. Practical remedies are not plenti ful, but it seems to us that if every one, whether he has dollar or not, would shake of the influence of the hard times cry, money would again circulate with healthful freedom. There is really more money now in this country than there ever was before, but it is kept locked up instead of being invested. Of course we don't know, but we are willing to wager a small amount that times will be better before the year is four months old.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-10
A CHARACTERISTIC LETTER.
Colonel P Donan, in a recent letter tc the editor of this paper, says:

Colonel P Donan, in a recent letter to the editor of this paper, says:
 FARGO, Dakota, Dec. B, 1894
 My DEAR READ: To wish a man merry" or "happy" in a world and times so full of care and anxiety, hard work, disappointment, regret and sorrow, seems to me equivalent to wishing him drunk or a d-d fool. Happiness is a golden fruitage that dangles from the boughs of seraph- guarded apple trees in paradise, beyond the reach of human hands, or hopes or prayers, and merri- ment is possible only where reason is not. Children, drunken men and fools have a monopoly of all the unmixed hilari,y, the unalloyed mirth, beneath the skies. To be sane is to find many occasions of sad ness. In much wisdom is much grief, and he that increases knowledge in- creases sorrow "-for what is increase of knowledge but increased acquaintance with the sins, the follies and the sorrows of ones fellow-men But, with all my heart. wish everything nearest and likest to Ca Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year," that the favoring gods ever bestov, or ever can bestow, on the most blest of sensible mortals, to you and all who like or love you, or who are liked or loved by youth the first of which classes Qhe likers) is, and in the second of which (the likees) would always gladly be, Yours most sincerely,
 P.DoNAN.
 A characteristic letter from a charac- teristic man but, wrong in idea. To read it, one who never met Colonel Donan would think that he was a pessi- mist of the most ultra and dyspeptic type, when, in fact, good humor is his constant companion. Wisdom increases happiness. Education is the sunshine that lights up world of true enjoyment. "When ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise" is very good thought, but hang it, ignorance can never be bliss. How much better is the expression of Aristotle Incredulity is the source of all wisdom. :" Why, my dear colonel, a little piece of intelligence made me particularly happy New Years day. New Years generally comes the first of the month, you know. Well, knowing that bill collectors would not come around on a holiday, inspired me with great confidence in myself Suppose had not been so wise-suppose 1 had been foolish enough to think that the bill collectors would come? What a miserable day it would have been or, suppose had been drunk-no, this thing has gone far enough.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-10

IT is rather a good thing for the dem ocratic party that Watterson's attack on Randall was postponed until after the election. The principle of free trade or tariff revision as it is more softly termed-is hardly ripe enough to harvest. Of course the people, in great many instances, are being robbed, but the un- necessary hard times scare, the high pro. tective advocacy of Randall, and the newly awakened manufacturing interests in the south, shut many democratic eyes to the fact that the revision !" plank still remains in the platform upon which Mir. Cleveland avowed his principles. In re- gard to the American tariff idea, noted writer made this remark: "When the ablest men of nation spend years and years in arguing question, and still fail to settle it, you may wisely conclude that neither party is right" Four years from this time, the tariff "hurrah" will of itself demand settlement. A party divided against itself, becomes endan- gered. This nation is now too powerful to be held down by small ideas of gov ernment.