The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-07-04
WESLEY AND HIS WIFE.
A Curious Letter Hitherto Unpublished Show
ing His Domestic Troubles.

ing His Domestic Troubles.
New York Critic.
John Wesley was married in February. 175l,
to Mrs. Mary VaZeille, "a II. erchants widow In
Threadneedle street." who possessed fortune of
about $50, 600, secured to herself and her four
children. He was forty eight, she forty one.
His biographer, the Rev L. Iyerman says of
their marriage that it was, in high degree, an
act of folly; and, properly enough, TO the end of
life, both of them were made to suffer serious
penalty" Mary's life ended ten years before her
husbands. She died in 1871, after having made
him miserable for thirty years. Wesley sur
In worldly way he had gained nothing by his
marriage 1t lost him his fellowship at Oxford
and at least temporarily alienated his brother
Charles and his wife. His domestic infelicities
are set forth in detail in the following curious
letter hitherto unpublished:
'CoLEFoRD, Oct. %, 1859,
''Dear Molly: I will tell you simply and plain
ly the things web. | dislike. If you remove
them, we'll If not am bur where was.
dislike your showing any one my letters and
private papers without my leave This never
dld any Good yet. either to you or me, or any
one Ii only sharpens and embitters your own
Spirit. And the same Effect it naturally has
upon Others. The same it would have upon me,
but that tby the Grace of God) do not think of
It, 1t can do no good. 1t never bring me
Learer tho it may drive me further off. And
should you do as you often threaten me, then
In all this you fighting against yourself.
You are frustrating your own purpose, if you
want me to love you You take just the wrong
way. No one ever forced to love another.
1t cannot be: Love can only be won by softness:
Foul means avail nothing. But you say, have
tried Fair Means and they did not succeed Ii
they do not none will. Then you have only to
say, This Evil is of the LORD | am Clay in his
Hand
Il dislike, 2, Not having the Command of my
own House; not being at liberty to invite even
my nearest Relations, so much as to drink Dish
of Tea without disobligipg you. | dislike, 3,
The being myself Prisoner in my own House;
the having my Chamber door watched continu.
ually so that no Person go in or out, but
such as have your Good Leave. | dislike, q,
The being but prisoner at large, even when |
go abroad, inasmuch as you are highly disguised.
If do not give you Account of every Place |
go to and every Person with whom | converse.
dislike, 5, The not being safe in my own
cali even my Study, even my Bureau, my own
They arc liable to be plundered every
day. You say, 4 plumber you of moth
ing but Papers | am not sure of that
How is it possible | should2 [ miss money
too and he that will steal a Pin will steal
Pound. But were it so. Scholars Papers are
his treasure; My Journal in particular. But |
took only such Papers as relate to Sarah Ryan
and Sarah Crosby That is not true:-What are
Mr.. Landeys Letters to Them? Besides, you
neither One nor the Other. | dislike, G. Your
Treatment of my Servants tho. indeed they
are not properly Mne). You do all that in you
lies to make their Lives a Burden to them. You
brow-beat harrass rate them like Dogs, make
them afraid to speak TO me. You treat them
with such Hautiness, Sternness, SourneSs s,uri-
ness. III nature as never were known in any
House OF mine for near dozen years. You for
get even Good breeding, and use such coarse
Language AS BELTS none but F;shwife.
Icls eli 6olD., Il
my back, and that every day and almost every
hour OF the day; making my faults (real or sup
poscdl the standing topic of your conversation.
dislike, 3, your slanderng me, laying to my
charge things which you know are false. Such
are Ito 60 but few days back That beat
you Which you told James Burgess. That |
rode to Hingswood with Sarah Ryan which you
told Sarah Rigby: and that l required you, when
we were first married. never to sit in my pres
ence without my leave. Which you told Mrs.
it before my face l dislike, 8. your common
custom of saying things not true. To instance
only in two or three particulars. You told Mr..
Ireland Mr.. VANILLA learned Spanish in q fort
night You told Mr.. Fry Mrs. Ellison
was the author to my intrigue in
Georgia You told Mrs. Ellison You never said
any such thing; You never charged her with it.
You also told her, That had laid plot serve
you as Susannah was served by the two elders
dislike, 10, your extreme, Unreasonable bitter
ness to all who endeavor to defend my character
las my brother. Joseph Jones, Clayton Carthy,l
breaking out even into foul, unmannery Ian
guage such ought not to defe gentle
womans lips if she did not believe one word of
the Bible.
':And now; Molly, what would any one advise
YOU to. that has a real Concern for your Happi-
nesss Certainly, l, To show. read touch those
Letters no more; if you did not restore them to
their proper owner: 2. To allow me the COM
mand of my own House, with free Leave to
invite thither whom | please 3, To allow
my Liberty there that any who will may come
to me- without Let or Hindrance: 4, To let me
go where please. and to whom | please, with
out giving an Account to any: 5, To assure me,
you will take no more of my Papers. nor any
thing of mine without my Consent 6, To treat
all the servant where You are whether you like
them or MOI with Courtesy and Humanity and
to speak Gf you speak at ALI to them.
as we'll as Others, with Good nature and Good
manners: Z To speak evil of me behind my
back: 8. Never to accuse me falsely: 9, TO be
extremely cautious of saying anything that is
not strictly true. but to the Matter and Man
ner, and, 10, To avoid all Bitterness Of EXPIRES
sion. till you can avoid ali Bitterness of Spirit.
These are the Advices which now give you
in the Fear of God, and in tender Love to Your
Soul. Nor can give you Stronger Proof that
am, your affectlonate husband.
JOHN WESLEY