The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1885-07-30
THE rRAsps NEW SCHEME.
How He Makes o Living at .Family Gather
ings.n

oPOoO yOo 0ch
me-" said a man in the park as he
came up and grasped a reporter by
;he hand. The voice was family ia
nillar and the speaker, who was de-
GENTLY dressed. though evidently not
particular about harmonious colors or
perfect fit, had a slouchy movement
hat indefinitely recalled some person
le had met. The man smiled and
irawled out, 81 thought you wouldn't
know me; don't you remember a
couple of winters ago when you'd be
,omin' out of that printin' Office over
here, how you used to stop and 'buz'
ne about what you called the noble
.rmy of trampsP 1 don't forget you,
iir, for when you'd get through talkin,
Tou'd put up for coffee and cakes. and
more than once for lodgin'. I'd be
.eal glad if you'd 60 and have a
schooner or cigar or suthin' with me.
I'm fixed" said he, pulling out a
handful of coin and bills, ''and would
ike to set 'em up"
The reporter declined, but upon
calling to mind the emaciated, dilapi-
lated tramp he had orce known, was
!iorced to inquire how so marked q
change of condition had come about.
"Well," said he, 'lf you won't give
t away I'll tell you-though [ don't
,are if you do, for l am going west on
The same lay. For the past two years
I've been working the family gather
ngs--those folks, you know. who adj
7ertise for everybody of their name to
meet at some n place to chin about
themselves and have a picnic.
"You see. one day last summer L
vas KILN time readin' a newspaper
I'd found when I run across one of
;hese meetin's. Well, it must have
,een-must have been-what is't that
,ives them poets a steerP"
"InspirationP" suggested the re-
porter.
eyes, that's 1t, 1t must have been
hat; for all of a sudden suthln' said:
That's the racket for you, my boy,
&c make believe you're one of the
yang!' You see, before I got way
Town where l was when you first saw
ne [ used to 'supe' around theaters;
hat made me think how easy 'twould
De for one of them actors to put up
uch a job. Well, the first lot I tackled
vas on a big farm up the North river.
got a piece of blue pencil, made an
nchor on my wrist, and put their
anne under it, SO as to look like In
liza ink, you know. I had on a sail
,r's blue flannel shirt when I went on
he grounds. There l told 'em I had
always follered the sea, and had lately
lad hard luck; had read about the
neetin' and come to see if I knew any,
body of my name.
"Well, they're always jolly and free
1t these places; SO they asked ne to
:est myself, and raised me some better
clothes than 1 had on: after that We
aad some bully grub. walked around
ind answered questions as well as I
could. Now and then, when no one
vas lookin,' some good old maid
you'd come up, unloch her satchel,
md slip a dollar or two in my hand.
I've been goin' from one place to an
other, summer and fall, ever since. I
Keep the run of 'em by the papers and
what l hear around, and I get plenty
If good duds and lots of cash. 1 play
,he sailor dodge most always. Some
lines l fix up, but it isn't a good
way, for they expect you to chin two
much.
"Say, if ever you go on this racket,
ct me give you the straight tip; don't
oe fresh, don't talk more'n you can
le1p; let them do the chinin'. Imade
I mistake that way where I was last
week. I was gettin' along frst-rate,
lad been there two days. At lunch
1nder the trees the last afternoon an
Did lady squinted at me through her
specs for a while, and said I put her in
mind of Ike who went out west some
Iears ago to see some cousins who
were not known out this way. Well,
[ was fool enough to say I belonged to
The western branch, as they called it,
ind remembered Ike That settled
t; they all soured on me at once, and
[ found that the western .blokes had
got Ike a drinkin' and gamblin',
and that branch of the family was look
I'd at as N. e. So, | didn't get a rake
that time.
"Another thing; don't take in any
:olks with long h%ighfalutin names,
With de or a to 'em; they generally
have their families down fine
Ind you'll get left sure; better
go for the Smiths, Thompsons, or
Browns.
"One time down east though, I
struck a swell crowd and got a good
stake when ] thought I'd no show at
all. A big chap with diamond studs
me and asked me what l was
ioin'' there! gave him a ghost sto-
about look1n' for my relations. And
I'm blamed if he didn't shake hands
with me and said he'd help me look
EN- up. Then he took me a little to
one side ard asked me if I'd do him a
favor? He said he'd left Boston with
out sending an important telegram,
1idn't like to leave the party, would
| oblige him by goin' to Boston,
the telegram, and
for an answer? Wait
said he, if it takes you all
He handed me a twenty-dollar
bill and a railroad ticket. Well I did
errand, waited a good while, no
answer came. and then I tumbled TO