The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1885-11-10
KNELL.
CONCLUDED TO LET THE MATTER DROP.


CONCLUDED TO LET THE MATTER DROP.
A solemn looking citizen appeared
recently at police head quarters, and
reckoning the superintendent into pri
vale room. said:
You know that 800 robbery at my
house that ! reported yesterday morn
ing?"
Certainly and have put two of our
best men on the case. and"
"Well, I--ahem-I have decided not to
pursue the matter you needn't take any
further steps. In fact"
you don't mean to say you have re
covered the money!
''Oh. no, not at all.
Found clew, eh?"
well, go, not exactly. The fact Is
the money was taken out OF my coat
pocket at night, and -and-this morning
my wife sent home new sealskin sacque.
"Ahr
"And so you see have about conclud-
ed to let the matter drop-let the matter
drop" and with deep sigh the bercaved
husband drifted out.
Many of the new STYLES and elegant
tanned elsewhere. aim at all times to
show rs many attractions as possible,
which can call exclusively my own.
While my line of staple goods is complete
in the fullest sense of the word and while
/ keep everything one could reasonably
expect to find in well regulated house
in my line of business l endeavOr to ex>
coed the expectations Of my visitors by
exhibiting many articles entirely new and
not heretofore offered for their approval
consider it u favor to be asked to show
my goods Please call.
G. G.. KNELL.
Some Of our city stores are constantly
annoyed by children coming to the door
and asking for cards, empty boxes and
that sort of thing. The clerks are, OF
course, down on the youngsters. aud the
warfare never ends. The other day a
little girl opened store door, and sticks
ing her head in, called out
"Say, mister have YOU got any empty
boxest"
''No," said the clerk not very politely.
"Got any cards.
"No."
"Got any almanacs2"
NO"
''Got any empty bottless
No"
" '' any pictures?"
"Got any sense?"
"No-yes-no--yes you miserable lit
tie wretch"
And the clerk flew out of the door, but
the youngster was up in the next alley
waking faces at him, and he came back
madden than he had been since his salary
was reduced
Politely asking for your attention for but
one moment, we would say that our
earnest endeavors to reach the top have
been so successful that we feel warrant
ell in stating that our new stock is the
nearest perfect in point of style quality
and price, of any yet offered to the peo-
pile of this vicinity. Careful buying in
markets that have just experienced a ser
ious depression enables the cash buyer to
make extremely favorable forms. We
have taken advantage of the evident in>
clinaton of manufacturers to move their
goods at very close margins and laid IN
our new stock at low figures. We pro-
pose to divide the benefits so secured with
our customers aud assure all that we can
and will sell you goods at prices to
please the most economical.
G. G. KNELL.
mo. papa do not wish to marry yet.
What want is man that does not
drink, smoke, chew, snuff, go out nights,
gamble bet, over eat, &c; in short q
man with no vices, and one who is al
ways good" MY daughter" said Mr.
Duscnberg, you are only stranger
here. Heaven is your home.
The Little Rock papers mitigate the
crime of a man who committed suicide
there last week by saying it was his first
offence.
A little three year old in admirng her
baby brother, exclaimed: "lles got q
boiled head, like papa
Investigate our new line of Holiday
goods before you buy. We do not urge
you not to look at other stocks but
merely ask as a favor to us, and as a
duty you owe yourself, not to purchase
until you have seen our bargains. See
what others offer, learn the prices on
such articles as you need, but under no
circumstances invest dollar without
first seeing our seasOnable attractions.
We do not fear criticism or comparison.
On the contrary we invite it, We can
better make you understand the induce
ment we offer after an inspection of the
goods and prices of other houses in our
line. This is plain talk but the plain
truth is, we think We can offer you the
best Inducements in new and desirable
goods, and the best inducements in
prices. We ask for but one trial.
G. G. KNELL.
Confidential. "A lawyers clerk ran off
with $500, 900 of his employers money
A few days afterward the lawyer receiv>
ed the following letter from the delins
quent; "Honored sir;-As there is no
one in whom l have such confidence as
yourself | venture to inquire if, in case
l am apprehended, you would consent to
undertake my defence.-Yours very re-
specially, A. Zangerl."
A lovers alarm clock has been brought
out to refresh the memories of those |
happy couples who are too much absorb
ed by each other to notice the slcepiness |
of their relatives. As the clock strikes
ten p. m. little doors open and small |
man. attired in dressing gown and cap, |
glides out, holding in his hand card |
with the inscription. Good Night" a
hint which rarely fails to be understood |
The following excellent defence was
made to an action brought by n lawyer:
There are three points in the case. may |
it please your honor, said the defendants |
counsel. I'm the first place, we contend |
that the kettle was cracked when we Dor |
rowed il; secondly, that it was whole |
when We returned it; and thirdly, that we