The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1885-12-16
Suggs Sasses SchooIboy.

have To conceal his true character,
when he speaks he il betrayed. The
only safety for the ignorant and de
signing is silence.
One could hardly imagine a more
chaotic state than that To which Codger
and his faithful whelp has degraded
our controversy, if indeed il can be
dignitied by such name. Yet, when
we consider that the latter is but the
dough-faced jumping-jack manipulated
by a bungling and brainless old lizard,
whose driving riff-rafi is equaled only
by his skulking cowardice, and who
has proved himself hardly bright
enough TO pack meat to bear, what
else could we expect
the very a of logic is that debata-
BILE question has an affirmative and a
negative. IL this is true, in the name
of all that lifts man above the brute,
which side has these Pilgrim Fathers"
these evening squawkers," these pO-
litical jayhawkers taken? If the mega
tive, and that is all they could take,
why don't they deny? My charges
against Plymouth is the question.
Once for all | decline to he thrown
on the defensive and be hogged around
all over Virginia and the Southern
Confederacy by "A set of Puritan inquisi
tors, who do not seem to have sense
enough to put straight question-to
even come in when it rains.
I'm not the defendant in this case il
the court knows itself. and if they ex
pect further notice they must meet
the issue squarely like-at least two
legged animals with some sort Of back
bone.
Pm Democrat from birth, "place"
and principle, and i'm adducing some
reasons | assumed that the Republican
party sprang from Plymouth, offering
James y. Garfield as authority; that
Purtans whipped Quakers, stole corn,
4 buiH'o "ilNbtN anu lbdSitu '
that John Brown murdered peaceful
citizens i'm Virginia and was backed by
a Northern sentiment in perfect accord
with the party's intolerant, venal and
bloOd-thirsty antecedents, incidentally
referring to jamestown as the germ
of American Democracy.
Now the only earthly way this trio OF
Massachusetts idiots could have poked
their meddlesome noses into the affair
with any show of deeeney, was to
deny the truth of my assumptions and
undertake to prove that jamestown
was not a whit better than Plymouth
Has this galaxy of historians done
this? Have these precious three
"when-shall-we- meet -alaius"---estab-
lished single pertinent, material fact
They have not. They have roamed
around over fields foreign to the subject
loading and discharsing an old blum
derbuss IN all sorts of aimless directions
missing everything and falling to bag
"a single point. They have licked
their frizen, so it must be they tamI
their wadding too much.
But suppose the reader eliminates the
piths of his quotations from the heaps
of rubbish and what have we? Not
only admissions that retute the very
points he would make, but for every
Indian kidnspped and held for ransom,
| have a whole tribe betrayed and muir
dered, aud 700 enslaved with King
Philips wife and child to spare for
every Quaker prosecuted i'm Virginia,
have "A score of Southwick, to say moth
| ing of his good wife and bleeding child
for every negro abused at jamestown,
| can show ten roasted alive; for every
witch mistrusted in Virginia, I'll re-
peat the shrieks of tortured fifties, and
in charity veil with silence those
crisped holes in human tongues, burned
there by red hot irons IN the hand of a
hell-bred Puritan Wedring the badge o.
d,dhOrity; for every nOn-official mis-
deed in Virginia, I'll show cores
ponding number of atrocities stamped
with public authority in a word, fol
every sinner in Jamestown l show d
sneaking, canting devil in Plymouth
did not pretend that jamestown
was immaculate. Such state was not
necessary, in fact there was no need OF
ordinary purity to carry my point
besides / might have admitted they all
were rakes, thieves and convicts, then
been proud of my ancestry, for then
they would have shone like angels III
comparison with the bestial hypocrites
of Plymouth. And If Schoolboy has
lavished his small stock of befuddled
history upon a point granted from the
first, il is additional proof that he i.
liable to follow some mans, wagon of
and ought to be tapped for a bad.case o
the green.
But what poverty of system thai
master-spirit, the power behind the
throne displays in pulling the string.
to his dangling and ready puppet. Ut
terly incapable of even staggering up n
the points at issue, he struggles AROUND
in blind, helpless sort of way, now
and then jerking his string when out
flies an incoherent quotations from hi.
oracle as pointless and senseless as tn,
pitiful puppet that writes them. A
very little of this Punch and Juds
business might be funny, but, kept W
50 long, il degenerates, ceases to b,
ludicrous and becomes absolutely dis
gushing.
Province of history" the dogs foot
Who was talking of history? 1t wa
the province" of Goodrich l i'm
peached. We dread no fact and figures
i'm history III is the blind partisan do