Milford chronicle., 1885-03-06
SHE WANTS TO BE A MAN.
A Woman Snms Up the Disadvantages Her
Sex are LnbOring Under, and Concludes
that she Doesn't Have Fun Enough.

The Lowell Times publishes the fol-
lowing, revised by a woman: 1t is
dreadful bother to be woman and do
the business up in good shape. In the
first place you've got to look well, or
you're nobody. A man may be ever so
homely and still be popular. Whiskers
cover up most of his lace, and if he has
big mouth nobody mistrusts it, and if
he does wrinkle bad on his foreA ad his
friends speak Of his many cares and OF
his thoughtful disposition, and tell each
other that his wrinkles are lines Of
thought. Lines of thought, indeed,
when in all probability his forehead is
wrinkled by the bad habit he has got
of scowling at his wife when the coffee
isn't strong enough.
A woman must always be in good
order. Her hair must always be frizzed
and banged as fashion demands, and she
must powder if she has a shining skin;
and she must manage to look sweet no
matter how sour she may feel; her
dress must hang just so, and her lace
must always be spotless and her boot
buttons always in place and her finger
nails always clean; and then she mustn't
whistle, nor climb fences, nor stone cats,
nor scold when she's mad.
She can't 60 out alone, because Ia
dies must be protected; she can't go
anywhere when it rains, because her
hair won't stay frizzed and she'll get
mud on her petticoats and things; she
can't be a Free Mason, because she
would tell their secrets and everybody
would know all about the goat and grid
iron; she can't smoke, because that
would De unfeminine; she can't go
courting, because that would not be wo-
manly. But she must get married be-
fore she is 25, or everybody will feel
wronged. People will sigh over her,
and wonder why it is that "men don't
seem to take;" and all the old maids
and widows smile and keep quiet. Oh,
these smiles and these significant looks
| They are ten times more than open SLAM
ders. It is terrible thing to be an old
maid. Everybody knows it is, and the
women who are married to drunken hus-
bands, and who manage to quarrel with
them six days ont of seven, will live in
an agony Of spirit over the single wo-
man and call her that "poor old maid. ="
A woman must marry rich or she
doesn't marry "well. And to marry
'well" is the end and aim of q woman's
existence, judging from the view which
people in general take of this matter.
( It is everybody's business when a wo.
man marries. The whole neighborhood
put their heads together and talk over
the pros and cons, and decide whether
she is good enough for him. There is
nothing said about his being good
enough for her. And they criticise the
shape of her nose, and relate anecdotes
of how lazy her grandfather was, and
how her Aunt Sally used to sell beans
and buttermilk. A woman must wear
No. 2 boots ON No. feet, and she must
manage to dress well on 70 cents week,
and she mustn't be vain, and she must
20 regularly to the sewing society meet
inQs. and be ready to dress dolls and
make tides and aprons for church
fairs. She must be a good cook, and
she must be able 10 edo up" her hus-
bands shirts so that the Chinese wash
erman would groan with envy and
gnash his teeth with the same unholy
passion at the sight of them.
RARE beneyolence, is the minister tc