St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1885-05-23
A Whooping Evangelist.
Gems from Brother Sam Zones, the
Georgia Preacher now Stirring
up Tennessee.


We see God all around us. The
mountains are Gods thoughts upheaved
The rivers are Gods thoughts in mo-
ton, The oceans are Gods thoughts
imbedded. The dewdr0ps are Gods
thoughts in pearls.
| believe that the whale swallowed
Jonah, and the only reason don't be-
lieve that Jonah swallowed the whale
is because the bible don't say so.
You don't believe what You don't I'M
derstand. Do you understand why
some cows have horns and some are
muley
You don't believe what you don't see.
Did you ever see your backbone
The hardest thing for me to believe
are the Ten Commandments and the SER
mon on the mount.
Custom is the law of fools, and is ru-
ming this country.
God pity the man who can't run ms
home without deck OF cards. He
ought to have been in hell long before
he had children born unto him.
7 used to dance, but when | wanted a
wife went into the prayer meeting,
and | beat your sort, too.
If any man don't like what l say let
| him come to me afterward and say so,
and I'll forgive him. >,
You dance with this world and you'll
go to hell with this world.
I have no respect for Mahone's poll
| tics but like his ansWe to the cues
ton how mnch he weighed, lie SAID
| weigh ninety-fve pounds, but ninety
hounds of this is backbone.
Some men think they have backbones
but it is nothing but cotton string run
up their backs.
There is more religion in laughing
than in crying. II religion consists ID
crying, have the best boy IN the
world.
and you sit here and laugh at it. You
| ought to be ashamed.
am a Methodist, and want to be the
| best one God ever made.
When st. Peter said add to your
| knowledge temperance, he didn't have
reference to you, old red-nosed Metho'
dist. Any man who pretends to be
/ Christian and drinks whisky is great
lbig old humbug-a two-legged hypo'
critic.
| Society is a heartless old wretch, ant
if YOU don't get out of it, you will go tt
he'll with it.
\ When the doctors say you can't i've
but an hour, you'll want just such
preacher as is talking to you.
God bOres through the top OF man.
head to his heart and on down to hi
: pocket. -,
Blackstone and the supreme court. re
: ports as the average christian doe
about the Bible, would never have bu
one case. The sheriff would be III
next client.
If any of you don't like the way thes
, services are going, there are tire
!. doors-you are cordially invited t
; When your little caps full you ca
; just back out.
Red liquor ana christianity won't sta
+. in the same hide.
t In Georgia a number of girls marie
men to reform them, and now the town
: are full of little whippoOrWill widows.
How lovely is patient woman. TO
3 pity the man who has a forked tongue
: wife.
The matter of church doctrine is a
d accident. If my mother and Brothe
3 Witherspoon's mother had sWappe
: babies he might have been Methods
, preacher.
The devil is too much of gentlema
e to stay where he is not wanted.
+ The churches of Nashville furnis
whisky to the surrounding countr!
Some of your wholesale liquor dealer
belong to the church.
Tf Brother Barhee would draw til
line where the Lord wants him to dra,
il, there would not be hundred men
. hers in the Church.
: The back door of the church opght I
e be opened once year and give all VIII
have not lived up to its rules an oppo'
tunity to pass out.
Bob Ingersoll (and ! mover call h
e name without feeling the need OF
' disinfectant) says whisky is Gods wor
: enemy and the DEVILS best friend. f
s. is good authority on that side.
!, Whisky is good thing in its plac
Y and that place is in hell. II | get the
i will drink all can get but | won't
" it here.-St. Louis Globe-DemOcrat.
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