The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-07-08
The Fierce, Famous Gram
pus."


pus2' "A Bozeman creation, rejecting
great credit upon its creators. What
made more interesting was the follow
ing nonsensical history of its capture:
The management have, at an enorm
Gus expenditure of our Nations promise
to pay, secured for the benefit of the
present inhabitants of this mundane
sphere the following true statement of
this formidable Silurian Paehtohydern-
atal exaesence Of the animal kingdom.
In fact the "Grampus" is a Generic freak
which alone occurs but once in life
time.
In 1882 youth from Livingston"
who in search Of knowledge and adven-
ture, had traversed the intervening seas
through Kamschatka, the Assinarisn
Kingdom, crossed the snow-clad SUBMITS
ofthe Hinalayas, and was wandering in
the vine-6ladl Businesses of Senegambia
when he was taken captive by the fierce
and warlike natives of that notorious
country, but owing to his versatility and
innate genius, which surpassed even the
paragon Of brain power concentrated in
the Uranium Of chopper" was, with
most hilarious luminosity, crowned King
Sigmund Beezeley Talmathium, ruler of
the Tunipian. Senegambia and Yellow
stonian Dynasties Upon his ascension
10 the throne he was afforded glorious
opportunities to prosecute with avidity
his favorite diversions. Natural History
came first. While pursuing hi> indefa-
tigable search for the ridiculously sub
lime among the subsCquaemOus denIzens
of the forest, and strOlling along the
banks of the deep and demulcent mid
die Creek" ENJOYING the cool diaphanous
breezes which float in such terrible
majesty athwart those cerulean skies he
observed a great and ominous agitation
of the hitherto quiet waters. He was
unspeakably gratifed to Observe sudden
ly emerge from the foaii-lasf stream,
the most marvellous and magnificent, the
most wild and wonderful, the most un-
couth, horrible ami heinous specimen of
natural wonder lie ever Topped his
eyes on. The King was so overjoyed at
his discovery that he at once ran to-
wards the object of his desire, and as the
"Grampus" had never gazed upon a
pale face" he Immediately sank beneath |
the surface to depth ofeleven or nine |
thousand feet Determined to capture !
this fluticating and connenial monster
he placed 900 of his native cuirasseurs |
opposite the spot where the "Grampus" |
disappeared. No sooner had the war;
riors been stationed than they observed |
the same agitation of the placid waters |
which continued for several hours, when
just at dusk the monster appeared. They |
beld hurried consultation, but alas, too i
lateg The huge monster rushed upon
them endeavoring 10 temperate his
wasted energies and alimentary canal by |
complete satiation of his capricious APP
petite. They stood not upon the order
of his going hut Skipped" at'once. At
the same time the omniverous, carniver-
Gus Notwithstanding leviathan took in
the situation and having emerged from
the mighty deep, like Phoenix from the
eshes, snufed the odoriferous scent en-
Anating from the unwashed Tunipians,
so rapidly did he advance upon his |
would-be Captors that in their extreme
terror they besought this terrific exotic
to,haVe mercy. Deaf to their cries with
one fiIl sweep Of his massive Nhiakilary
he crushed 1900 warriors into an un-
recognizable mass. Once having obtain
ed morsel of Ethiopian" muscle he /
became 50 extremely ravenous that in
few moments all disappeared into his
expanding stomach. Then overcome by !
his exertions he reclined into a sound /
and gentle sAumber The King, at his
Palace, when the shades of night began /
TO descend and the bright stars to scintil-
late in wonderful and marvellous magni-
fcence, weary with his exertions threw
himself into gorgeous rag carpet ham
mock for reflection when the gentle
breezes waited to his acute tympanum
the most terrific and horrible conglom-
eratlan of sounds He was bewildered
his classic head was turned; All he has
as itKere. q 1t il the echoes Of
the snoring of the "Grampus." He raj
lies his 800 remaining warriors now is
the golden to successfully capture this
Slowly and cautiously they
proceeded until within short distance
of the husteric spot to await the approach
af dawn. When the first gray streak of
cast it's roseate sheen over the
tops, gliding them as with
gbld tltey set forward -here
and there apool of native life current
Il. e. blood marked the spot where the
brave 1900 fell. At last the "Grampus"
was seen quietly reposing in, fancied
geehritytJ1ilsuJ 6 fiu5iif ~ FL +
"Whare is he ?" shouted the King
Oar he ~ sang the natives.
Calling council Of war by what modus
6perandi can it be taken captive. Ver-
Lunimus osculatus, the aged professor of
Deuteroscopy, stepped forward, and
making low salaam remarked Most
serene and hybubdical highness, Tradi-
ion informs us when this glorious
dynasty was in its infancy there appear
ed 10 party of the kings household
who were enjoying themselves at the
tDutch Picnic" monstrous mammalian
which, from description
iled in the archives of your majesty.
Haram is the same as the beast which
les before you. They feared to attempt
70 capture him but for four years every
moment of this wonderful animal was
and during this time made but
TWO meals, one on the entire province OF
Timbuctus and the other of 5000 rebelli-
ous Gallimps, who had been sentenced
10 mutiny by his majesty, King Bomba-