Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-04-29
BRIGHT BITS.

JAY GOULD is not hearty eater His
grecdiness does not lie in the direction Of his
stomach.
ALL man requires here below is something
to eat, something to wear and a place to
sleep Perhaps that is the reason he so often
gets into jail, where all these things are pro-
Vided for him.
IT is said that the editor of the Merchant
TrdCeler is studying for the ministry. It's
high time. Between Talmage and Joe Cook
the pulpit has become sadly lacking in SOL
emnity.-JltdGe.
"WERE you aware OF the fact that X is col
lectlng money to restore portion of the
house of worship of which he is seXtOn?"
NO but l shall not give him anything"
"Why."
because believe the money will be de-
voted principally to building up the knave of
the church. "-Bost0a Bud06t.
MRS. MCNAMARA-Yis, Mrs. Cumm1skey.
I've been married now goin' on twinty- three
year, and Mac ana haye nlver had serious
quarrel.
Mrs. C:-Well, thin, it's happy woman
YOU ought to be, for many's the row Peter and
have had. God be good to us all.
Mrs. McN.-Oh, for that matter. we've had
hard words time and agin, and maybe now
and thin blow, but what mean is / niver
had to call in the police.-Christidn at Work
THE opera season has been hard on the
dudes. Two well-knOwn society men met on
Kearney street the other day. They have a
robe. No looked at the somewhat unfash-
iOnabe trousers the other wore: 'Ahi what's
this! Where did you get them" "Old Ones"
whispered the other. "NOu don't say :" Yes:
busted on the opera and only heard Nevada"
'Wer, | managed to hear Patti once and
Nevada once" "Well. you're always lucky!
New and he gazed at the unmentonables
of his friend. "NO-dyed," was the wills
pered answer as they parted.-San Francisco
Chronicle.
BROwE Ito minister)-Mr. r. Smith and /
were talking about the possibility of cholera
this summer and l bet him $500 that we
wouldn't have Il. Do you think 1 am likely
to win the
Minister (horrifed)-My dear sir, I am
shocked at the idea Of you and Mr.. Smith
making bet. 1t Is sinful, and bad in every
Brown-The one who wins is to put stained
glass memorial window in the church. and
Minister-YOu bet that the cholera won't
come?
Brownies, sir
Minister-wen think you will, Brother
Brown.-Nelo York San.
AN unpopular man, who had somehow man
aged to become a member OF an exclusive
West End club, made himself obnoxious to
his fellow clubmen by continually wagering
on the steps at the entrance. One day. soon
after he had taken up his position. a Mai.
Y, IN passing him, said: II say. Isaacs,
could get up subscription of $500 for you
IN the club If you would only take your name
OF the books" So M went Co a friend
OF his, O., and said: ''What do you think,
x
Y. He said that if would take my name
OF the club books he would get up a subscrip-
ton of $500 for me. What would you do?'
well" replied O., if I were you / would
not take it; stand out, and shouldn't be sur
prsed if you got fl,000."-The Argondut.
WHAT means this stir in the house to-day
The chatter of tongues and the laughter gay,
The constant running upstairs and down?
Has travelling circus come to town,
Or pa, just returned from his Washington
trip,
Obtained the wished-for postmastership?.
No, nothing particulars happened at all
Nothing to shake this terrestrial ball
Although it is plain there is something the
matter,
Something that causes the laughter and chat
ter,
/ The feeling of pleasure that seems to prevail,
| For the little pug dog is wagging his tail,
| And that terrible creature, the mother in
law.
| Is smiling and givfnga rest to her jaw;
! The mother is glad and the father is gay.
And-well, baby's just cut its first tooth to-
day. Boston Courier.