Savannah morning news., 1885-11-17
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE is a growing impression that Lots
VIE turned back to get her gloves.-PNeb.
When a young lady goes to church to exhib-
u her new sealskln, she certainly might be
called sack religious 1O1L6e1s Statesman.
TIE Car OF Russia may fear men, but he is
not afraid of fieas He lets his dog sleep on
nal.
WHEN the Post Office Department under
took to expedite letters for l0c. apiece it ap-
parenty did not take into account the utter
p jwerlessuess of l0c. to expedite the small
boy.-SoAeeryUie JourRdl.
WHAT'S the matter, my dcar?" asked
mother of her 5-year old z RI, who exhibited
signs of impatience she WAS trying TO sew.
"ph, dear" exclaimed the little maiden, 81
d'n't see "hy God nut NY right hand on the
wrong side."-Nei0 Iork journal.
\ LIMIT TO PATIENCE; Waitress to DR..
Pu len. the dentist, who is greatly annoyed
by her constant use Of his lille in addressing
him Tomatoes, d0ctOr:" Dr. Pullen-
"Thanks, no" WaIire-s-''Corn, doctor?"
Doctor-'No! Dentist Tid5ts.
FIFTY YEARS AGO last sunday the first mis-
sionary landed on the Fiji Islands. The ma
tives made three barrels Of church festival
soup out of him In 81 minutes, and fed co.,
natives. and the savage who swal owed the
nlssonary's sleeve butt rs nearly died of the
rhollc before the next morning g.-NelCIodR IN
LeDendent.
thing has happened to my wife. Her mouth
seems set, and she c9n't say a word" "Whv,
she must have lock jaw. ." said the doctor ''Du
you think so? Well If you are up MY wav
some time next week | wish u would stop
IN and see what you can do for her.'-Neao
York Sun.
THE LITTLE SON of hard-worlxing IRISH
man having died, q kind hearted lady sent
wreath Of flowers To the house Of mourning.
Atterward she asked the mother how she
w ifl fxr~ae
the reply. at was a tight squeeze TO get it
on little Jimmi"'s head, but it looked lille
gant"-H Hart5ord Times.
"sUcH IGNoRANCE"" exclaimed Pittsburg
glrl looking up from her paper - hat is
ii :" rs ed her father "WbV at a civil eerv-
ice eXaminat on in Georgia one applicant said
Jhat Shakespeare was the author of Gray
Elegy in Country Churchyard.'" THAT
DOESN'T seem right +" ho wrote it," why,
Tennyson, Of course. - Courier -JotrndE.
To PREVENT the dispensing of morphine
ior quihlne a strip OF steel should be
hrmly riveted over the mouth OF the vial con
tanning II, the neck being trst plugged with
torpedo so arranged as to explode and shat
Ter the steel " hen the poison IS taken IN hand.
If the clerk survives he will know that the
shock meant morphine - Western Druggist.
MAN carrying a cross cut saw and a
broad ak called at the Office OF "A New York
daiiy paper few lays ago and appii I'd for d
position on the artistic STAFF. He said he was
wears experience in GhOpping wood and he
thou ht he could hack ouG few illustrations
for the PAPER which would be a marked i'm
pro 'ement over those it mad recently pub
lshed. As strange us it NAV appear he was
not enSaged.-NOrr stOtc7g Herald.
"WHAT a covfounded queer taste this curry
has'' SAID weli-knOwn business man to his
wife a. dinner the n Ght before last. lit does
taste rather funny." said the wife of his
bosom, as he rang the bell for Bridget, tn
new maid of all work and cook. Bring me
u the bottle You got this curry out Of" SAID
Mrs. >. to The slave. "Sure, and it was no
bottle at all, at all. II was in a paper parcel" !"
Then fcicn the parcel" In a few moments
Bridget returned with paper bag, upon
which was printed in hold type, "Buhac I"
The curry p was deserted, but it IS safe to
prognosticate that no flea or flies viii bother
Mr. or Mrs. S. for some time to come.-Sdn
Francisco Nelrs- letter.
In was one Of those delightful September
mornings that strayed over into November
The light autumnal haze Of Indian summer
was sleeping on the hil tops, only to be IN
vigorated with the cOlnrs Of the rising sun.
Rosalind McGush. aroused b, the matin song
that arose from the poultry yard, parted the
| curtains and looked forth npon the scene.
what gorgeous mOrnin oh, why should
! be chained 10 this humdrum sphere? ] will
| seize my pen ANA pour forth melodious verse
! in honor Of this day Of the gods"
"RosFW came a sharp call from the foot nf
| The stairs. Come down ana fry the buck
| wheats, right away"
And from thoughts poetic to deeds domestic
! hosallnd scended.-H,Irtford Post.