St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-12-27
VAR ELIES.
Out on the frst-Last month.-Puck.

Out on the first-Last month.-Puck.
A waterspout-A temperance lecture
Puck.
Is a hotel waiter girl made to order?-
Lynn Union.
In times of newspaper mourning it is a
poor column rule that will not work both
ways.-New Orleans Picayune.
A prominent Mormon elder, who is the
father OF twenty-seven grown-up boys says
he is in the wholesale gents furnishing
business. Puck.
She only said: "The dude is dreary.
He goeth not" she said.
She said: ''I'm weary, weary, weary,
And 1 want to 90 to bed. "-Chicago
Sun.
''What do they do when they install a
Minister" inquired small boy, ''do they
bit," said lhe father, ''they harness him to
the church and expect him to draw it
alone"
When tramp sees woman with pistol
or gun in her hands, he goes right on with
out winking; but let her appear on the scene
with dipper of hot water. and he makes
tracks like kangaroo. Burlington Free
Press. y
a 0ClNidu newspaper COuGdlilS dill ODlGQdry
in which occurs the following: "Our dea
son Gustave lost his life by falling from the
spire of Lutheran church. Only those
who know the height of the steeple can
measure the depth Of our grief. "--Oil City
Derrick.
A boy will eat and boy will drink.
And boy will play all day:
But boy wont work, and boy wont
think,
Because he amt built that way.-Chi-
cago Ledger.
Sister Anne-''Now, Ethel, be sure and
pray God to make you good girl" Lthel
praying---"Dear God, pleath, twy and
make me a dood title dirl, and if at firtht
you don't thuctheed. why, twy, twy again. -
The Rambler.
A Buffalo prohibition journal, called the
Sixteenth Amendment, has put at the head
of its editorial columns Lucy Webb Hayes
for president, and Elizabeth Cleveland for
vice president These candidates would in
fuse considerable hustle in the campaign. -
Norristown Herald.
''What are the prospects in this town for
circus?" asked the advance agent of a
Kentucky citizen; think we'd draw a
crowd?" The citizen shook his head dubi-
ously. ''I'm 'fraid not. stranger" he said
''Thars to be man hung here in Septem-
Der. an reckon everybody'll be saving up
money for that."--N. Y. Times.
my good KARL" said one German stu
dent to another, in profound admiration of
his friends capacity for beer-drinking,
''how do you manage to stow away so
many pints?" ''You see, my dear fellow"
responded KARL" PPM making up for
lost time. ''For whole year l drank
nothing but milk" ''You drank nothing
but milk for twelve months In what year,
pray, was that?" ''In my first year of ex-
istence." answered Karl. The explana-
ton was satisfactory.
Dear, DEAR" said kind-hearted matron
on meeting friend whom she had not
seen for a long time; land you're not mar
ried, Jane, and with your good looks, too"
''No; I'm not married yet" replied Jane
with laugh.
And how comes it that you are single?"
''Well," said Jane, with twinkle of her
eye, II expect it was because was born
500
A Maiden's Soliloquey-'Tis wondrous
strange how great the change since l was
in my teens; then I'd beau and billet
doux and joined the gayest scenes. But
lovers now have ceased to vow-no way
Observation-Disclosures I'm 35. Once, if the
night was e'er so bright, I meier abroad could
roam without 1.-THE bliss. the honor, miss, of
seeing you safe home" But, now / go,
through rain and snow, fatigued and scarce
alive, through all the dark, without
spark-becauSe I'm IS.