West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-10-30
ABOUT INVENTORS.
Cranks Who Expoct 20 Revolu-
tionize the World.
Principally Engaged in Seeking Capital
tst-Hair- Drained Projcots-some OF
the Wonderful Secrets Told by
Their Discoverers.


Their Discovercrs.
The woods are full of cranks."
terSely remarked the proprietor of a
prominent uptown resort to a reporter.
You can fall up against them without
the slightest effort and find them mild
ly insane on all subjects under the sun.
Most of them have inventions out of
which they expect to make millions in
a very short time. and IL you give them
half chance they'll talk YOU silly in
ten minutes. You'd bo surprised to see
some of these inventive cranks They
are men OF wide information and pos
scsSed of solid sense when discussing
any subject but their invention. Ifvou
want to 60 out looking for them al
wise you to strap brass cannon on Your
back, so you can silence them rs soon
as YOU feel your brain begin to waver.
= hclp my goodness, there comes one Of
them now! I'll Introduce YOU ~
AT THIS moment gray haired, gray
bearded man entered the place, who.
instead OF having the appearance OF a
crank. looked like solid, highly intel
igcnt citizen. He was introduced to-
the reporter and convcrscd in the most
suave and pleasing manner until the
proprietor, with sly wink, questioned
him about his submarine boat. Then
his face lighted up and he began to
speak rapidly and with some incohcr-
encc regarding the subject on which his
mind was turned.
That boat is coming on all right |
haze it perfect now and will let you sec
IT work in few days
This gentleman is a capitalist. " said
the proprietor, indicating the reporter.
land would like to know something of
Your invention. If it strikes him as a
good thing he may invest
"A good thing, cried the crank, hi,
face shining at the allusion TO capital.
as he almost embraced the reporter.
come in here and sit down. I'm show
YOU something that will make YOU fab
ulouSly rich, and, Rubbing his hands
glecfully together, he pilotcd the way
10 Uack room Seating himself at "A
table and waving the reporter TO "A
char, he began violently wordy at
tack on his new-tomd victim. II We
= 4
water with perfect ease, without danger.
and the cost OF making them is com
parahvely light. They can he used not
only for all submarine work, but i'm case
OF war / can easily destroy an entire
icet without danger to myself If you
will promise TO keep my secret will
tel you about IT,"
The promise was given. and he con
timed: The boat is about twelve feet
long, tightly dcckcd over. with the cx-
ccp,iOn of n place for the operator. The
pr"pclling power is electricity. which /
cary in the bow of the boat i'm power
ful storage batteries of my own inven-
ton, that win furnish steady power for
many hours. The batteries are con
nc tel with the propeller by cables. and
the speed can be regulated at will The
operator or engineer sits in the center
mu IA in the same manner as q man sits
iu canCC. A heavy glass half globe
lis over the aperture through which the
operators shoulders come above the
gunwales OF the boat. and directly I'm
front Of him is n luminous dial board
which shows him exactly the depth no
has reached and also indicates the dis
tauec traycrscd On the shoulders and
back OF tho operator is Is q rubber knap-
sack containing a false pair Of lungs.
which are really the most remarkable
part Of the invention. Over his head is
a helmet something similar 10 that used
by divers, but very different i'm internal
construction. From The mouth OF the
helmet Is tubing connecting with the
false lungs i'm such manner that in
breathing The exhalatiOn from the oper-
ntor's lungs is conveyed through the
knapsack, where 10 is purified bv pass
ing through a composition Of caustic
soda and tow, and returning through
smother tube Is inhaled again as pure
cir. r This, you see does away entirely
with delp from the surface Another
ching of great advantage and not seen
en- any other submarine boat ever tried.
my boat shows no bubbles on the sur
face of the water 60 indicate her where
abouts. j can 20 under man-Of-war
and lifting OF the half globe Of glass
let 20 torpedo loose thai fastens itself.
by means Of a powerful magnet TO the
buil, where 1t will hang until the ship
moves or the tide causes n little wheel
attached 10 the end Of the torpedo TO-
wb n Each revolution OF tho wheel
b lngs tho electric pins closer together.
onJ when they meet tho ship is gonc.
4 whole fleet can bo fixed in this wav
m very short time Thus You SEQ
what q factor this invention il destined
Go uo iu naval warfare.
The reporter was gradually slippug
uuJcr the table and the proprietor soc
ing ,hat hc wa in danger of falling into
"a trance oamo TO the rescue and told
tnc crank 10 call again. The crank dis.
liked TO let go of his new found friend.
but C SAW it was policy for hin, o do.
Part
THAT said tho proprietor, els only
one .mOng the mail army Of inventive
luantiCs who como here occasionally a.
CIV ne tho first chance to invest Goa
the.r crazy ldous. another fellow he.
sut- OF springs, with which he proposes
.0 prorcI small Doat through the