Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-06
BRIGHT BITS.


A WOMAN may be as true as steel, but then
you know some steel is too highly tempered
HOnkerS Statesman.
WEDDINGS resulting from chance acquaint-
ances made during summer vacations may
well be published under the head casual
ties. '-S0merCiAe journal.
THE Blnghampton Republican says a flower
that IS often put to a base use is the lady slip
per. And on such occasions it has been
known to make johnny jump up.-NOTris
torn Herald.
SOME ONE is the possessor of a hen which
lays each day an egg containing two yolks,
and when the chantlcleer of her family hears
her mslodlous caCkle, he softly murmurs to
himself "Philoppna." Puck.
FIRST CITIzEN-"You always stay home in
the evenings now?" Second Citizen-"Yes;
my wlfe's father gave her $500 for birthday
present, and I'm teaching her how to play
draw poker. '-Philddeiphi Progress.
IF men and women would only display half
az nuen frantic energy and ability in getting
ahead IN life as they do in lodging across the
street in front OF an approaching team or
horse car. we should all be VanderDilts before
1871. -S0'nerUiIe J0UTRGI.
IT is claimed that tine most disguised and
eXasperated people on the continent are the
New Mexico Indians. The new administra-
ton has appointed a bald headed agent.
They justly regard this as a direct infringe
ment on their right to produce bald headed
AN oil country resident, after hearing
Goldsmith's poem, The Deserted Village"
read IN an eloquent manner drew a long
breath and said:
I'm be burned if that village of sweet Au-
burn don't remind me of Petroleum Centre e"
-Nel0 York Times.
eve encourage the Interchange Of visits
with patrons of other resorts said the pro-
prietOr of leading summer MOTEL w hen
our people are away for the day they pay for
the dinners they don't have, and when their
friends return the call they pay for the dim
Hotel Nal.
a HOPELESS CASE: 81 say, Longshot, where's
the Irish setter you hunted with last season."
ION, mad to shoot him; Good dog; cost me
with him?" 'iHydrophobia; worst way.D
''Suref" Yes; howled and had fts every
time milk wagon passed the house,
Brooklyn Eagle.
THAT ACTRESS said young Hyson, fhas
peen laying dancing parts ever since l was
q Doy, ana she isn't year older on the bills
than she was twenty years ago." NO" said
CID Ilntag, that's because she has renude her
youth every season." And then they both
fell back into the zareba to change their
breath.-BTooklyn Eagle.
JONEs-"Brown seems to feel mighty upish
since he made little money by his corner in
whisky. Pretends to belong to the swallow
tail crowd, believe"
Smlth-"swallow-t tail crowd! guess not"
J.-"No1"
S:-"No. Regular old soaker. Swallow
cocktail crowd would be more like it."-Bos-
ton Courier.
II is related of a distinguished lawyer who
observed that his wife always delayed ten or
twelve minutes before she came down to
dinner, being lOath to lose SO much precious
time daily. he commenced the composition of
a work which he prosecuted only while he
was thus kept waiting. The result was at the
n re- laoA IN fhroa vr,,I, 90
quarto. which has met with large sale and
is much ded.-Tidbits.
A WALL street broker went into a saloon
and called for whisky. The barkeeper set out
the hottie and glass of water.
whats thats" asked the broker, pointing
at the water and pouring out the whisky.
Nv alter, sir
whats It for"
ITO mix with the whisky"
well, take 10 aWav. Do YOU think Pm Jaw
Gould?"-Nercbqnt T.arelsr.