The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-08-14

Their cherry charms; one rapt caress
Would warm frozen heart. ween:
But misery how they melt ice-cream!
-LOtsisrille COtfricr-JOurn0l.
THE TWO JENNIES.
Their Novel Scheme for Discour-
aging an Aged Sutton.
Let us pass into the sitting-room OF
Mr.. Archer's substantial, brown farm
house, where two girls are engaged in a
close and vivacious colloquy. Was there
ever anything SO breezy, SO sparkling
and refreshing as a genuine gillish chat?
Even the nonsense uttered has charm
about it, and while listening, we forget
to call it nonsense. The quiet bs Image,
covert shrewdness, quick repartee, the
eager clapping of white hands, and the
merry laughter pealing forth at short
intervals, are extremely bewitching
when proceeding from youthful lips.
Severe-browed politicians will turn from
long-winded speeches to Buncombe, and
full contemplation of single blessedness,
to catch the music of girlish sallies.
Afterward, these masculines will pro-
nounce Judgment. and write treatises on
the Stiffness of womankind in general,
and school girls in particular. to prove
their own superiority to trifles. This
reminds us of those instances in life.
which, when present and pa.lpable, fail
not to please; but. past and shadowy,
we fall to abusing them with astonishing
energy.
1t was not our intention TO write an
essay upon the eccentricities toward
which human nature has such strong
proclivities, but rather to introduce you
to our heroines. Jennie of Essex and
Jennie of Butternuts.
These young ladies had been congrat-
ulating themselves upon the fact that
there was not male ear about to him
der them from speaking freely, and
therefore gossiping to their hearts con-
tent.
"Oh. was there ever anything so dis
agreeable as widower, with his spruce
wayse He has all the confidence of an
experienced and successful fisherman,
and throws out his bait with the most
exasperating assurance. certain of catch
ing what he angles for"
A ripple of silvery mirth was provoked
by this pettish explosion of Jennie of
Essex. for it was she who spoke.
IF he would only marry a widow, it
would be quite proper and fair" she
went on, ''but to offer a second love for
a first is wrong"
"Ah, Jennie, you will surely call one
of these inconsOlabIes husband, and con-
sent to rear up his six motherless dar-
lings."
..You vex me past endurance! Icould
like an old bachelor, with all his fussi-
ness and rustiness, for could conjure
up 8 romance about him. 1t is impossi-
BILE to CLEAN anything but the most COM
monplace reality in connection with q
practical, keen-sighted widower. If he
has poor teeth he directly procures an
other set, dyes his hair and whiskers,
and Furnishes his outer man very much
as q jeweler Furnishes old silver. He
may have been shockingly negligent in
his dress and personal habits in his mar
ried state, but now YOU find him trans
formed into the sleekest, neatest, brisk
est. most obliging man of your acquaint-
ance; in short, he is metamOrphosed.
He cooliy calculates his chance of OBJ
tanning q young companion; an old one
he will not have. You see it in his eye,
and prove it by his affable attention to
manageable females"
"A libel, Jennie. l shall have you
prosecuted for libel. think we should
take it as compliment when he who
has lost his conjugal partner SO soon
seeks another, mock-seriously respond
ed Jennie, of Butternuts.
"a dubious kind of compliment
Bluebeard paid us many in his day."
..Why, Jennie, you make me suspect
YOU have some root of bitterness hidden
from me. Confess that my suspicion is
correct"
Il may as well tell you, coz, and per-
haps you can assist me. have sutton,
one Blodget, whose wife died some six
months since. He is fathers intimate
friend, and therefore comes to me with
strong paternal recommendation; in
deed, papa yesterday gave me forcible
command to treat him with the greatest
kindness and civility. Nov, why can
not Blodget fall in love with his house
keeper. instead of fastening his covet-
Gus glance on me?"
".Is he rich?"
"Yes. It is SO much the worse for me,
rs wealth is powerful attraction to
a,apa. Besides, / have little heart af-
fair of my own At this point the
warm blood leaped SO suddenly to cheek
and brow, that Jennie of Butternuts
listened with heightened interest. "Rod-
ney Dayton likes me, think, little
better than any one else in the world,
though he has not told me 80. He
Is poor in purse, but rich in intellect, in
hope and energy"
s.You love him?"
clearly, but papa has an unaccOunt.
able dislike to lawyers, and Rodney is
fitting himself for the bar"
81 see your difficulty. Now suppose
YOU want me to be q martyr, and sacri.
lice myself On the shrine of cousinly af.
FICTION. by marrying the rich old cur.
mudgeon. / shan't do it! am going
to be an accomplice of uncle, and take
this Rodney myself. 1t is the only course
/ can consistently follow. Uncle will
be pleased, Mr. Blodget will be content.
ed, shall not suffer, and Rodney will
be delighted with the change from Jen'
ME TO Jennie"
..You witch! you have given me s
brighter idea. Come" and she drew
Jennie. of Butternuts, in front of 8