Morning journal and courier., 1885-03-05
RAD ID.

A bad er-pinning often makes much
havoc with large structures and small babies.
The Judge.
The people of Philadelphia appear to be
pretty well protected in one particular. The
water of the Schuylkill river is too muddy to
mix with the milk.-Puck.
'sWhat amused me most at the opera" +"
said an Arab chief who had been taken to
hear "Faust, !" ''was one of the musicians in
the orchestra, seated a little higher than the
rest, who performed on invisible instru
ment with a stick. New York Musical
Courier.
GA monthly journal published in Paris is
devoted to nothing but the art of stamp col
lecting" There are quite number of daily
and weekly journals in this country devoted
mainly to the same thing, but some of them
lose more stamps than they sscollect.-Nor-
ristown Herald.
Prince Demidoff, who was the grandest
seigneur in Paris under the late empire, died
last week at his villa near Florence. He
spent his riches in patronizing art and artists.
He it was who said, Beware of blondes, put
no faith in brunettes and avoid all the 9TH
ers."-Chicago Herald.
The brain of an adult man weighs, on an
average, forty eight ounces, while that of
the average adult woman weighs forty four
ounces and yet woman is far Superior to
man mentally I have obtained this infor-
nation from lady friend of mine who is
thoroughly trustworthy. Nye.
The Italians believe that maternity robs a
woman of her voice. The Italians should
come to this country and listen to a rural
mother call home her children who play
ing in a wood mile distant. When cy-
clone hears her voice shouting along it knows
it must either jump over it or get wrecked.
-Nonistown Herald.
The Norristown Herald calls a surprise
party Zone of those social events that bright
en- life' If life is frightened in Norristown
by lot of people loaded with cheap cake
and Philadelphia ice cream tra1nping over a
| mans carpet and damaging his crockery and
furniture, we should say that occasional
fire or funeral in the house would make life
perfectly dazzling there.-Boston Commercial
Bulletin
The Polar Bear and the Tigress-A Polal
| Bear and Tigress in Menagerie became
Mashed on each other, and, as they had al
| ready seen great deal of the World in going
| from Place to Place they thought they would
| Escape from their Cages, be Welded and
| Travel on their own Hooks the rest of theil
| Days. AS soon they were properly United
l in Lawful awful Wedlock, the Question
came up about Where they should go The
| Bear wanted to go Home. ''For," said he
| now" His Bride replied that she did moi
want any Buffalo Robes and Mastodor
Meat on Her Plate, and more, that if she
went a Wedding Trip she wanted
| to be where the Papers would speak ot
her often, and where she could be interviewed
| every Day or SO. At last, from Words they
| came to Blows, and the Polar Bear had botf
| his Eyes scratched and in Revenge he
squeezed the Tigress till he Broke all he1
| Ribs Moral: Life is What we Make it,
| and when you make it Hearts you want te
| get either ''Lone Hand" or good "Pard.
San Francisco News Letter
Man proposes
| God disposes.
Gossip supposes.
| Dude poses
Sheriff closes.
Detective noses
Motherin-law imposes.
Society-Holy Mosesi
Louisville Courier Journal.