New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-17


The President is reported have said that hereafter
he will not tell the newspapers anything. we thmX 10
has been misrepresened but at any rate we are sure
the newspapers will retaate by refusing to tell him
anything No indeed they will continue to tell him
heaps of things he doesn't know.
"Colonel william r. Morrison" says Washington
paper "s characterized man possessing WONDERFUL
presence of mind" He will also go down in history as
characterized by remarkable absence OF Dody IN tne
United States Senate Chamber-lPeoria Transcript
"Men learn says The Philadelphia Times senten-
tiously o, yes, men do, but how about Mugwumpsi
lie was known for his fine fitting measure
o Death. thourt an exquisite will
Else why such a proof Of thy pleasure
A tailor cut of In tit 81 Boston courier.
Members of the Legislature had game Of baseball the
other day They prepared ground with spades and
by the manner in which they handled the clubs and tore
around the diamond with palptating hearts, they
demonstrated their knowledge of at least one game.
missionary paper tells u.s. ut is one Of the most
hopeful features Of Christianity at the present dy
that she Onger the Jew with cold Indifference
Judging the Jewish homes that have been destroyed
by ire the hands Of Russian Hungarian s ana aat Ro
tgdrm, nay burning interest IN the JeW-lADeroeeh
Standard
There Is man in Liverpool who is very much excited
because the supply of coal will be exhausted In ITO
years. and he has published pamphlet entitled A
warning from the British Coal Fields"
"How did you like the show last eveningi" asked
Brown had Fogg at the theatre the night pc
fore Like IT," exclaimed Fogg cSntemptG,oIssly'
and many feathers on II by about half
peck Brown-Why, what in the world are you talk
ing about FOgg-Talking about Why that confound-
ed bonnet just In front OF to be sure Ihat was all
the entertainment got for my monsy.-IBoston iran
script.
Recorder smyth is a grim humorist. He solemny
cautioned the Crowley jury to abstain from looking at
the woodcuts illustrated papers, supposed to repre-
sent persons associated with the trial OF the case No
wonder Ajuror dsregardng the injunction would get
such a distorted that he never could hope TO
sraghten out his wits after the ordeal Human nature
has limits and 80 have woodcus There the resemblance
ends.
Atnews item I'm an exchange is headed ga Man
Drowned by a Drum" II IL be proved that the man
beat the drum-whlch probably the casethe lnstr-
ment should be acquitted ground Of sefdeence-
lNorristown Herald.
The oldine Democrats who believe in practical poll
ties are becoming terribly tired of the Mugwumps and
want to read the riot act To them forthwith.
MORNING IN MAY.
Oh what so fair as amorn in May
with the apple trees In their bright array
All fragrant fresh from the young Springs loom;
The carpet of green
And tho sky between.
Whence hurries the breeze with sweet perfume!
Oh men may fro WI, or men may smile,
But the heart. unhushe1 by the hand OF guile,
VIII sng with the birds In their Joyous Hight
Aud welcome the kiss OF the soft sunlight,
And hasten the blood
In a healthfui flood,
Conveying to muscles fresh portions OF might!
After stating that who values his life should
fail TO buy bottle OF QuacHs Great Disease Exterml-
uator an Arizona editor thus dips into living issues
As we told our readers some time ago, England ana
Russia won't hght. 1t is true We had headline The
Dogs Of War Let Loose, recently, as some anony
nous reptile informs But not disturbed by
little thing like that As every one knows we were alb
sent at the time performing our legislative duties and
the headline was written by dey, who cannot DO
expected to know as much about tho subject as our
selves"
Fox. having Ascertaned that there was Deadly
Feud between the Wolf and the HyeHa set about effect
Ing a Reconciliation never be Friends with the
Wolf" said the Hyena. because We Older on the Tenn:
pernnce Question" And added TO that said the WOLF
= ia the fact that Radically differ In Politics" But
see a way out" persisted the Fox Both OF you ac-
cent Honorary Positions some Board and the Abuse
OF the Public will soon make 20 Il Fast Friends" Moral
You never knew a Failure yet.-lDetrot Free Press.
There Is dreadful suspicion prevalent that tho Old
Rcd Bandanna won't get there after all
A correspondent describing the delights Of Paris in
May that the streets are so clean that you never
get your dirty and the shOeDlacks, unable to live
order to earn their bread."-lWaterbury American.
Acorrespondent asks II the sharps in music do not
virtually include the flats We don't know how it is in
music but In the unmuscal turmoil Of everyday life the
sharps always take in the flats
Talking Of theatres" said Fogg the most
fu stars knew those which years ago got
corner in American flag, and have had the held to
themselves ever since Boston Transcript
The average farmer may not get a chance to become
famous the ordinary ways but he get there all the
same All he has do this time Of the year is to go to
the telegraph office with rsteas5 snake stony
and the job Is done.
.'What! You IN mOurning!" she exclaimed as she
tered the and caught sight OF an acquaintance
Yes" Some dead ~ " Yes" Dead and buried
chI YES" well that's too bad! Died OF pneu-
mouia. suppose :" "NO-Ot brain fever" " Dear me-
but that's awful How do you Ike my new haiti" The
newcomer ratified in TINS fashion for twenty minutes
and then left tho As II started again. after eaving
her on the crOsswak she made vigorous motions % the
conductor and when he had brought the vehicle TO a
halt said, Won't yOu please ask that lady friend OF
mine II it was her husband of the children who
died forgot find OUT" she didn't lind out on that
trip Detroit Free Press.