Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-12-12
THE BUREAU OF CRANKs.
Business that Engages the Attention Of
the Sanitary Police.
STRANGE CHARACTERS THAT COME TO WASH
INGTON - THEIR NUMBERS MULTIPLIED
AFTER LAST YEARS ELECTIoNs-sPECIMEe
CASES AND THEIR PECULIARITIES.

There are larger cities In the United States
with more extensive police arrangements than
Washington; but no police force of the country
mas had more experience with cranks than ours.
The bureau having cognizance of the cranks is
that known as the sanitary office of the police
force. An officer Is detailed to have charge OF
this bureau, and his duties require him in addi-
ton to examine into the cases of paupers, the
unfortunate, sick and decrepit, to furnish trans
portation to other cities when deemed advis-
able, and to see to the conveyance of our own
poor and unfortunate to the hospitals, &c. So
much of his time has, however, in the past few
years been taken up with the species known as
cranks that 1t has been suggested that the
name OF the bureau be changed from sanitary
office to "Bureau OF Cranks." At some seasons
animation. and stranger might get the i'm
preston that Washington is very prolific Of I'M
fortunates of that kind.
FROM OTHER CITIES.
The truth is, however, that in but few in
stances does Washington have any claim to
them. For some reason or other they regard
Washington as their Mecca and by hook or by
crook they manage to get here from the most
distant portions OF the country.
The office Is located in the rear room on the
main floor of the police headquarters building,
where seated ut a table is the officer in charge
A register book, a few chairs, and telephone
complete the furniture of the room. 1t Is here
that the crankS are brought when not too DEM
onstrative, and their cases are disposed Of
SOule sent directly DacK 10 the cltlcS whence
they came, and others are sent to the work
house till their friends can be communicated
with. Numbers are sent to this office from the
Executive Mansion, for large proportion aim
at once on their arrival in this city to secure an
audience with the President. Many are inter-
cepted at the depots and marched directly to
the office. Immediately after the assassination
OF President Garfield. more cranks arrived here
than ever before. There were also a number
Der then gradually decreased, and year ago
there was so little business done with the
cr;inks that 1t was hoped the species would die
out.
THE ELECTION CRANKs.
The election last fall-the change in the Execu-
tive-seems to have again developed them.
Consequently the officers on duty at the depots
and wharves are continually on the alert for
them. frequently, when crowds of passengers
are leaving train or a boat, the officer on duty
having become an expert, singles out crank
and directs him to police headquarters. This
they are enabled TO do often, because the crank's
crankiness is betrayed by cOuntenance, dress or
luggage. 1t is not difficult usually for officer
to engage such person in conversation, learn
his business and lead him directly to the office
Most of them come to stay, bringing all the lug
gage possible, and "rope locks" seem to be the
rule.
AS may be expected, there is every conceiya-
BILE delusfOn to be found among them, and
rational beings if their particular hobby could
be forgotten.
THE ORIGINAL JONAH.
In January, 1854, Sergeant Dinsmore, on duty
TIC ELAeCulINe Mansion, IOttnQ Incre q Ger
man of 45 years of age, from Sullivan county,
New York, whose business was, he said, to see
the President and Gen. Logan. He claimed to
be the original Jonah who was swallowed by
the whale, and that n bill to be passed would be
for his benefit. After Dr. Magruder had found
him harmless he persuaded him to return
home, promising that the officials here would
October, 1884, from Abilene, Texas, under the
delusiOn that he had been sent for from the
Capitol and would be given twO-stOry, brown
front house worth 100000, a wardrobe of
clothes, diamond jewelry and S25O,O0O in
cash, and be made a detective They wanted him.
!ican nor democrat, and had made him a 'coal-
headed king" and also "a man of God" They
were going to make him President and give
him $25OOO,OOO. They had made him man
nothing mean. After short confinement in
station house ne paid for Il guide and was fur
nished one, and then saw the sights Of the city
and left for home
OTHER CASES.
A colored woman who was taken to the office
in November. 1884, complained that a spell
had been put on her at the 10th street Baptist
church.
Another colOred woman, found near the
residents house in November. 1884, and
taken to the sanitary office, whence she was
sent 10 The poor house to see, as she supposed
II tine President would get her u place,
n crank, living below Alexandria, comes here
often and Is furnished transportation back He
generally comes with an idea to matrmony.
sometimes an inventor develOpes the disease
In August last man from Lexington. ky.whO
Claimed TO have patent for q double postal
card, was brought to the office and sent to the
Freedmans hospital.
A Fight Between Modern Ironclads.
Ernvr C,a ,b&er