Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-06-25
A HIGHLY AMUSED PRISONER,

not willing enough to accept the statements
made by innocent colored gentlemen, who,
unfortunately, are arraigned before his
court. The other day, Brocky ALI, whom
we all know to be honest and eminently re-
spectacle, was clutched by the pitiless hand
Justice Graly.
"Brocky Alf," said the magistrate, "the
warrant which was sworn out for your arrest
says that you stole calf.''
ALT laughed. "Dis do beat anything 1
neber seed in my life," said he. "Neber
seed de like, er haw, haw. Eff er pusson
had er told me dat white man wuz er foolin'
me, wouldn't er b'leebed him, er haw,
haW"
whats the matter?" demanded the JUS
tice. care you crazy?"
''No, sab, but I'se mighty nigh tickled
into de grabe. One foot on de aige now, er
haw, haw, haw. It am sich er good joke
dat Use willin' ter furgib de white pusson,
but he got me, 0, yas, he got me, er haw,
haw. Heah de way it 'twuz, jedge: / wuz
comm laung de- road, an seed powerful
fine calf ober in de lot. Allus wuz er great
'mirer O. fine cattle, so stopped and looked
ober de fence. Den dat white man come up,
an, er haw, haw. Oh !jedge, Tse so tickled
dat KANT tell de joke"
"Mr. Constable" said the justice, 81 reck-
stay until his fit of laughing wears away"
"Hole on, jedge, jes wait er minit," inter
posed the prisoner. 'I'll try, sab, ter quiet
myself tell I ken gin yer de facks in dis
mighty 'strordinary case. Wall, WuZ er
lookin' at de fine calfer 'mirin' o. his shape,
when dat white man come er laung, er haw,
haw. won't laugh no mo-, jedge, eff ken
hep it, but when all de eberdence is dun in
I bet yesse'f KANT hep from openin' yer
fine lookin' mouf. 'Whut yer doin'?' says
de white man: oh ? ST, Jes er lookin' at
dis beautiful head O. cattle 'Whut will
yer gin me fur him.? says he. BLESS yer
soul, I would buy him in er minnit, but
amt got de assets an liabilities ST. Amt
your name Brocky Alf" he axed. Oats
what it is,' piled.
"Yesse'fs been doin' some mighty good
work fur de Dimocrat party, amt yer?'
"'Yes, sab, dat I has,
"Ah.hahu de white man piled, 'dat's
whut I've hearn, so now I wants yer ter
take dis calf ez er present frum me-"
"Wall, jedge, hoped ober dat fence an
tuck dat calf too quick, but law bless yer, l
hadn't mo- den got it home fore dar wuz er
he got outen er jedge's Office. Now, sab,
on depart O. dat white man de whole thing
wuz er monstrous fine joke, an has been
er waitin' some time fur him ter come an
git me outen dis fix, but he doan' peer ter
be comm berry fas'."
sDo you know the mans name?" the JUS
tice asked.
''No, sab, neber seed him befo'."
"You know Captain Henderson, don't
you ?"
"Oh! yes, sab, mighty WELL"
"Well, didn't you know that Capt. Hen
derson owned the lot where you found the
calf?"
eyes, sab, b'leebe did"
''Then why did you think that the calf
was the property of man who came along
and said that you might have it?'
"Huh ?'
"You heard what said."
eyes, sab, suthin' bout er calf, yes, sah-
erbout er fine calf"
"What made you take the calf, even
though some one told you that you could
have it, knowing, as you did, that it was in
Capt. Henderson's lot?"
'Who, me?"
eyes, YOU"
"Look heah, jedge, let us wabe dis calf
erside, an look fur er while at de work whut
Use been doin' fur de Dimocrat party"
"Have you worked very hard for the
Democratic party ?"
powerful, sah."
"Well," continued the judge, II am
Republican" ~
"Oh! Lawd," groaned the negro. "Oh
Lawd, come on heah constable, an take me
ter Jail. I'se too big er fool ter be let loose
on de curmunity .''-Arkaaasa,0 Traveller.
The WRONG FUR.-A very excited COL
ored brother hunted up an officer patrolling
High street, and said that he had long borne
the abuse of man of his color who was then
in house on the next block, and added:
81 doan' want to broke de law, but the
time has arrove when l mus crush dat pus-
son to de dust9'
"If catch you fighting shall have to
take you down." replied the officer.
81 can't help it, can't help it, nohoW. If
dat pusson makes his disappearance on de
street, while Pm aroun', de fur am gWlne
to fly, if die fur it. He's slandered me an
lied about me, an I'Ze gwine to krush him
as same as you would tiger"
The officer passed on to the end of his
beat and returned to find the crusher with
his back to the fence and woman lending
him wet rag to bind his head up.
Let's see! You are the man who was 60
ing to crush some one?" observed the officer.
81 'spects are"
"Did he come out"
II 'spects he did"
"Did the fur fly"
"Deed, sab, it did, but de trouble was dat
it was de wrong fur"' De onery scoundrel
refused to be crushed"
"And now?"
"Well, I'ze gwine to git healed up an
lick his brudder-in-laW! Pour on some mo
water, ,nissus, fur dis ole head begins to
swim agin!"
NOTHING MEAN ABOUT HIM.-"Robert,"
remarked the wife of a penurious man, II
am on my death-bed. I.have tried to be
good and faithful wife, and have but one
favor to ask Of you before die"
"What is that, Margaret?"
"You know 1 was born and reared in
Cleveland. 1t was there first met you and
the happiest hours of our welded life were
passed. You remember this, Roberto"
EYES," uneasily.
"My relatives are all buried there and
when l am gone 1 wish to rest beside them.