Iron County register., 1885-11-19
JOSH BILLINGS.

A Few Anecdotes of the Great HumorIsts
Remarkable Self.Possession.
Before left New York I called on
Josh Billings with an album and mod
estly solicited his autograph. He took
it on his knees, gave his mouth accom-
ical twist ard wrote:
"Thrice is he armed who hath his quarrel
just"
The Bard Of Aron.
"And four times he who gets his blow in
~ Billings
Josh was extremely fond of animals
and had cat in his house at Albany
which he gravely addressed as evil
liam" suggested that that was dig
nified name for puss. as cats were
usually called Tom" or Tip" or a
quick. short cognomen.
..But that's special, swell, blue
blooded specimen of the feline race, I
wish you to know" rejoined the hu-
morist. Recently, poor fellow, he has
had fits and since then call him Fitz-
William.
When Rubinstein was over here he
was presented to Josh, and the pianist
was careful to impress the American
with accounts of the nobility of his an
cestors. MY family" said he loftily,
''goes ba k to the time of the Crusaders.
NV researches in this direction enabled
me to discover that one of nv ances-
tors accompanied the Emperor Barba-
rossa-" Josh smiled, and affecting to
be immensely impressed. Immediately
remarked: .'On the piano, of course. :"
A story is told of the humorist being
thrown on one occasion among batch
of students in a country town near New
Haven. He was tramping along with
rusty yellow dog, and entered the
bar-room of hotel for some refresh
ments. A group of the Yale lads
CHANGED to be there on a frolic, and i'm
mediately interviewed Billings, whom
they evidently mistook for a farmer.
They inquired with affected interest
after the health of his wife and chill
dren anl Josh, with counterfeited
simplicity. gave them graphic ac-
count of his family and farm.
''Of course you belong to the Church?''
asked enc of the boys.
Eyes. the Lord be praised. and my
father and grandfather before me-"
Now. suppose you would not tell
lie" said one of the students.
''Not for the world"
''Wkat will you take for that dog!"
pointing to Josh's cur, which was
crouching beneath his chair.
81 won't take twenty dollars for that
dog"
"Twenty dollars! Why, he's not
worth twenty cents"
II assure you / would not take twen-
ty dollars for him.
''Come. my FRIEND" said the student,
who. with his companions, was bent on
having some fun with the old man.
Nov, y say you won't tell a lie for
the world. Let me see if you will not
do it for 800. I'll give you 500 for
your dog"
..I'll not take it.
"Gou will not? Here! let me see if
this will not tempt you to lie," added
the student. producing small bag OF
half dollars, which he built up into
small piles on the table. Josh was sit
ting by the table with his hat in
his hand, apparently unconcerned.
There" added the student, ..there are
twenty dollars, all in silver; will give
you shat for the animal" Josh quietly
raised his hat to the edge of the table.
and. as quick as thought. scraped all
the money into it, except one half dol
lar. end then exclaimed:
81 won't take your twenty dollars.
Nineteen and half is as much as that
dog is worth; he is your property
A tremendous shout from his fellow
students clearly showed the would-be
wag that he was completely sold and
thai he need not look for sympathy
from that quarter, so he good-naturedly
acknowledged himself beaten. .-Phila-
detphia Times.