Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-07-30
NUMBER e,

l. z
stay with me tonight, and you can tel
me all the news about Colorado W.
got supper, and I took Willie to m,
room and he staid with me, giving |
very pleasant account of things wa
interested in out there.
"On going to my room in the even
ing the regular clerk was not in the of
flee, and I remarked as I passed the
boys in charge of it, that wv. Fife, my
young friend, would stay with me, 'and
went on to my room. 1t seems they
misunderstood me, and wrote 'wife' al
the end of my name, instead of Fife,
and I was quite surprised afterwards
to see that - and wife were guests
at - HOTEL
"Well did you have an adventure?"
inquired visitor.
"Oh no, unless you class that as an
adventure, as do, however, only no
doubt it afforded morsel for some
prurient.
My wife and l had good laugh
over it, however, and agreed that it
was too good a joke on me, to spoil by
an explanation"
81 had another funny experience of
the kind" continued citizen, "that
came near costing Inc some money.
That was caused by Observation-Disclosures
hod
around on an eastern trip, and I
made q little side trip alone of
few days, and was delving around some
libraries, absorbed in thought. The
little hotel I stopped at was quite full.
and had to take room occupied by
a young man, student, at vacation.
II was talking to the clerk while 1
registered, and in an absent-minded
mood, wrote myself and wife,
"When came to settle my bill with
a different clerk, who had just taken
charge, my bill was 50 enormous ask
ed him if he wanted the whole earth,'
and protested that he must think
could eat as much as All alligator, or a
rhinoceros, or some other wild ami
NAL of the west. He turned over the
hotel register, and said, there's two of
you, aint there? You suppose we keep
hotel for the fun of th- thing?'
"Well, I soon convinced him that
there was only one of me- that my
room was also occupied by another
and that was quite will
ing to pay my oVn bill, and to set up
the cigars for my absent minded mis-
take in registering wife This was
done, and we had good laugh over
my surprise.
sAs ho'Tz ifsi.ttl his sis;;s.s,s Il Il seiti.
Now, you wouldn't believe how often
that happens, but mostly always by
some old book leeches who go delving
in the libraries, while their wives are
visiting friends somewhere else, and
they forget whether they have wives
Or not.
"OnIy few days ago an old man
couldn't remember whether his wife
10 settle. He felt all around through |
ais pockets, and put on his glasses, and |
IAN his fingers through his hair and
turned about and looked |
through the window; then turned to
ne again, and seemed lost in a guam
larry. After minute or two he again |
put his hands in his coat pockets, as if |
feeling for something, and said, Dem
ne if I know about my wife, then con-
,idering minute, but it seems to me,
Mary Jane's been over to Newbury-
port all this time.' And so she was, |
md that old coon was actually puzzling
lis brains to remember it,"
And the clerk laughed as he counted |
,ut my change, and added, II can't
you old fellows. 1 think |
when get a wife I'll know whether
Pm sleeping with her or not"
Then visitor resumed: "Well that's |
pretty good, and Pm reminded of an-l
'ther little experience. This time the
'cene shifts from myself, however. I
vas in Mobile few years ago, stop
,ing at the leading hotel, when one
evening rather pompous, elderly
nan, whom they called Gen. -,
md younger man, whom they called
Japt. -, aud wife and child, came
u.
"Gen. stepped up to register
lis name, and began to write. He got
,art of his first name written when
he bad pen stuck in the paper, and
u fretful manner he threw the pen
IN the floor. and turned away. The
lerk at once offered to write the
names. Capt. -, who was busy
With baggage and talking to the porter,
old the clerk the names, and he got
he wife and child credited to the
General, instead of the Captain, and
10 one noticed the mistake. Cap
ain, wife and child occupied the room,
" some mischance of the boys in show
ng the rooms, which was assigned on
he register to the General. OF course,
he arrivals were published in next
mornings papers. And of course there
vas printed Gen. , wife and
hild.' None of the party noticed 1t,
,ut it SO happened that the paper
cached the Generals home some fifty
niles away, during the day and dark
loud settled on the brow of Mrs. Gen.
She had been little suspicious
f dam. yes she had, and a pref