Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-08-10
INVENTIVE GENIUS.
some Notable kxAaspi OF the Essrolss of
This Faculty - Women
ff.rs g4r.sy.ls- kxa.atu4

>Dso~ Notable EAAtAt ptes OF the ftefctse of
This facaity ~ woaaeR-
Carl f.refzsls weeklyJ
The other day / sa~ it officially stated
that during the year seventy patents had
been issued 10 ~0men- As / always Ike
70 get az bottom facts, l hunted up the last
Patent Office report iron the numerous
volumes which have been kindly donated
70 me by al appreciative Congressman.
and proceeded TO post myself as 10 what
the patents were issued for
Missouri lady took out letters patent
for an indicator which, when attached 10
the bed-post will show by glancing az the
dial whether there IS a horrid man under
the bed Tue saving OF time in year
will more thaa pay tho cost or an instrn-
ment-
Mrs. Minkiers, OF Podunk, y y. invent
ell q patent mouse aud rat ext.rminatOs
When lady secs a nasty mouse the first
scream sets the machine of, and a pair Of
claws seizss the Offending varmint by the
back OF the neck and yanks the everl asting
stuiiing cut OF him ia less time than il
would take 10 go around block.
Miss Nancy J. Stebbins, OF Hairytown.
which will work a revolution in the dis
seminatiOn Of news. In seven minutes
by the watch, the choicest bit Of scanda al
can be scattered 10 the four winds OF
heaven in a more approved style than
could be effected by seven hours Of the
most industrious gadding. The inventor
wears large leather medal presented To
her by the suffering society OF New Jer-
sey.
Mrs Sapphra C.on, OF Smilerville, Ky.,
obtained IA patent on an attachment where :
by a woman may hold twelve extra
clothes pins in her mouth. and at the same
time keep up an animated conversa on
with the woman in the next yard, thereby
/ saving hours of valuable time.
Mary Ann Duzenberry, OF Skowheyan.
Me-. comes to the front with a duplex.
back-action. nom freez ny indicator, which
can be attached TO the husband and will
tell unerringy whore he has been when he
| goes 10 the lodge. She has already made
large fortune out of it, and tho demand
Increases.
Mrs. Prudence Cumback, of Daddsville,
| o, has patented muzzle which can be put
on the old man, efectually preventing him
from kissing the hired girl. IL he does
an electric current is produced which
rings q bell, strikes a gong aud blows a
whistle in the kitchen. The factory is run.
ring night and day aud is away behind
the orders.
An old maid named McGoozler, of Pee.
wee, Ore, trOts out an attachment ena-
bling woman TO carry an umbrella
without jabbing the eyes out OF every
mortal man Shat comes within twenty iee
OF her.
giddy young thing named Clementnt
Bagshott, OF Gooseville, New Jersey, ha,
invented front-gate attachment, which
the girls all pronounce "just too utterly
cute FOR any kind of use" On each side o
the gate is a swinging STOOL which can b.
swung around to a proper distance as
pedestrian approaches, and as soon a b,
passes are swung back to within quarter
OF an inch OF each other. The top OF tn,
gate is padded, making it very ornamental
ss well as useful.
OF course. these ara not all, but they ar
enough to show that if you will give
woman room according to her streugtI
she will yank the socks off the rest OF crea
tion in an amazing short Space Of period
don't want to hear another word from
the old seeds who sit around whiting dr,
goods boxes ami intimate that women
best hold Is washing dishes and sewing ol
buttons. She IL already working up
grander, nobler sphere, aud don't you eve
forget it