Savannah morning news., 1885-01-02
BRIGHT BITS.

somE Of the coffee served nova days is so
weak that it looks shameful f. the strong,
active digestive organs to tackle the poor.
ne pless thlng.-Bismdrcb Tribune.
IT is said that people in one part of AroOs--
took county, Me. have to travel hundred
miles 10 90 TO court. Marriageable girls must
be scarce up in 'RoOstook.-B0stORP Post.
"DO you understand how to fix up my
hair;" asked lady OF newly-hired colored
servant. Yes, mum, I kin fix II un in ten
minutes" You VIII never do for me. What
would | do with myself all the rest Of the
day:"-Teeas SLftings.
RICHARD GRANT WHITE, they tell rs, is
c0nyaiescing We don't know what has been
aiing Mr.. White, but presume he slipped on
one uf his highly polished sentences and tab
bed himself with one of his stiff rhetorical
Tules.-ChjcdgO Netcs.
OUR office boys effusion: 4 held her tiny
hand in Mine, and Clasped her fairy form, and
told my tale Ct ardent love in language sweet
and warm And when / paused for lack of
breath, she raised her dimpled chin and whis
pered low, Il don't catch on; please sing your
song again. "-BOst0n Globe.
BAD CASE OF MoTHER-IN-LAw.-Ala lately
bereaved gentleman, receiving the coincidence
Of his friend on the early decease of his beau
tlul wife, replied: "Yes, rs dreadful to
think OF her going so young, but | have the
sad satisfaction of feeling that she did not
live long enough TO resemble her mother"
"DO YOU know the prisoner?n asked the
Judge. "1es, sir," replied the witness. ''What
sort of a reputation has hef' 'ReputatiOn!
First-ciass." what has he ever done?"
''DOne: Why, your honor, he killed four
men in Texas with three shots, and there isn't
a man in this county who can whip him in a
fair ht."-DatLy Graphic.
AT q well-knOwn restaurant on Union
square, on Dec. 26, sat two new faces-an
Englishman in the earliest stages Of Ameri-
can travel and German citizen whose ac-
quaintarce he had evidently just made. The
following brief dialogue took place in our
hearing: Englishman-"Wel you certainly
have no American accent; nothing nasal" I"
German-''Nell, yes! l vas many wears in de
country. and l take goOt care not to pick up
dat-Yankee dialect"
AN agricultural paper informs its readers
that "a hive Of bees placed in the orchard will
increase the crop of apples, as the pollen
rubbed of the bodies of the bees fertillZes
thousands Of blossoms which might Otherwise
be barren" We can assure our farmer
friends, however, that one cross dog placed in
the orchard Will increase the apple crop SO
per cent. more than two hives of bees. \
cross dog will Ego right to the spot" quicker
than the pollen.-NorriSt010n Herald.
AN AMENDED RESOLUTION
Why so few of us kept our last New Years re-
solve
To abstain from the wine cup or weed,
Would puzzle a phalanx of Sphynxes to solve,
Or SolomOn's judgment to read.
But as by cones are past, let us all strive this
To ;nT-nd, as we should have done sooner,
Aud, whilst we repudiate wine, weed, or beer,
Let us clinch the resolve with "scho0ner'
-Nea0 York Morning Journal.
Mrs. OIDNAME. who has a great love for
those whose ancestors came over in the May
hower-''Ah. Mrs. Sawyer, how's your boy
Charlie getting along?" Mrs. S.-"Oh, very
Hice'y. thank you; he is in business in Boston.
YOU knoW?N Mrs. O.-"No. Is he; suppose
he's married, Of course?" Mrs. S.-"No, not
yct." Mrs. Dwell, he's got a sweetheart,
hasn't he?" Mrs. 5 -"Uh, yes indeed; her
name is legion" Mrs. O.-"Lcgion, hey?
Legion; let's see, don't believe l remember
the name. but it sounds as though it might be
an old family. Well, well, Charlie going to
m trry Miss Legion. What did you say her
first name was?"-BOStOR Post.
4 Resolution TABLED.-Trustee Pullback
then offered the following resolution: Re-
s0lced, Dat dis Lime Kiln Club use its influence
Wild Congress to secure greater volume Of
| currency. "Brudder Pullback, what was
your Objeck in presentin' dat resolushun?'
| asked the President. ITO float out de cur
rency, sah." "Um! While l lay de reso-
lushun on de table let me gin you few words
of advice. You has bin OWN Samuel SHIN 81
for hull var past. S'pose'n you float dat
out. You are three months behind on your
You owe de grocer an butcher, an de sheriff
viii soon be 1Oatin after you if you doan'
squar' up. De volume of currency am all
right. Let eDery man pay his honest debts
an dar will be no lack OBJ money to do bizness
wild. Let us now sing our clOsin' songs an
wend our way homewards. .'-DetrOit Free
Press.