Smyrna times., 1885-08-12
SATAN BAFFLED.

lulOl0S IDdU OI ClululOuS.
This year the crops have been extra
fine on Onion Creek. The
corn will average forty bushels to the |
acre, and the cotton is all that could
be desired, but Macbeth Simmons is a
chronic growler. He is never satisfied
with the weather, or the crops, or even
with himself. In fact, the better the
crops the more he grumbles.
jim Best, on the other hand, is a
contented sort of man, who
never grumbled about anything. If
he could not avert calamity he never
grumbled, because it was of no use to
grumble. He never grumbled about
those misfortunes he could prevent,
because it was better to do so than to
grumble about them, so he never
grumbled.
"GoOd morning, Simmons" said
Best, cheerfully, "Take a chair in the
shade, and we'll cut watermelon
after n while"
Simmons answered the salutatiOn in
a despairing sort Of Il way, and having
taken u chair, began to grumble about
the low price corn was bringing, then
he objected to the kind of weather that
was going to prevail during the coming
week.
"Look here, Simmons" said Best,
don't believe you are ever satisfied.
1 don't think it is possible to make you
quit grumbling. By the way, | had a
dream about you last night"
"That means that am going to die
of some horrible lingering disease" ,"
said Macbeth, looking rs if he was
dead already.
1" dreamt," continued Best, " that
Satan had been listening to your grum-
bling for long time and had at last
come to the conclusion to try and see
if he could make you stop it by giving
you everything you wanted. So one
day while you were in the field, and
cussing the climate, the soil, the plOw
the mule and everything in sight, he
put in an appearance by your side.
GLOW did he look ?" asked Sim.
mons.
"He looked as if he were very much
of gentleman. He wore peculiarly
shaped boots, he kept his hat on hi
head, SO you couldn't see his horns
and his tail was curled up somewhere
inside of his clothes He looked like {
poker-playing member of the Texa
Legislature. He had two little rounC
boxes with him. He saluted you yer.
politely and asked you how you were
coming on with your plowing, and yol
growled and said it was the wOrs
ground to plow in Western Texas"
"And so it is" said Simmons, gloom
lily.
"Wen," continued Best, "Sata
smiled a peculiar sort of smile, an
said he would try and see what h
could do. He took hold of the pillow
and in almost no time he had the Who'll
field plowed up. Every furrOw was a
straight as an arrow. When Satan ha
plOwed up the field, you grumble
because you didn't have seed cor
enough, but Satan only smiled, an
said he would attend to that too, an
, he went to work and planted the el
tire field"
Nothing of that sort ever happeI
to me. never have the luck to hay
anybody help me to put in a crop
growled Simmons.
f, After Satan had plOwed up yol
j, field and planted your corn for you
continued Best, he asked if you we
satisfied, and you replied that the
was no use of planting anyhow,
there would be either too much raj
; or too much sunshine, and the
wouldn't be any corn raised that year
That's Just the way it is in Texas
said Simmons.
. Satan never does things by halves
continued Best, " so he brought out t
two round boxes and said that one
them was full of sunshine and t
y other was full of rain, and they we
properly labelled so you could L
make any mistake. You could j.
J, regulate the weather to suit yOursC
and that he would come back VIII
- the corn was ripe to get the emf
boxes. Mr. Satan then went awi
The crops were splendid that ye
and yours in particular, but you CRU
:. bled as usual. You said corn would
to. too cheap, and just then Mr.. Satan
+ peared and having listened to W
= complaints, he took one of the ears
corn and stripping off the shuck cal
your attention to the fact that "
corn was different from other corn
. all the grains of your corn were
Id. solid, pure gold. Mr.. Satan thou
you would be satisfied with that c.
DIS crop, anyhow, but there's where
was fooled, for you pulled the corn
of your mouth down and said, il
e whining sort of a way:
- "When l come to get the gre
backs at the bank for the gold II
eh swindled at least two per cent"
Then Mr.. Satan got mad and s
. that as this world was not good emo
for you he would give you a chang
ent the place where he lived, and the Ia
1iet 1nn saw he was going off with you un
for his arm, and smelt strong SINE
IDS, sulphur and then 1 woke up, tire
/. ling all over, for 1 was afraid SC
resh thing had happened to you.
sg9Sd glad to see you are still here in TIE
and we'll enough to grumble about
&C. corn crop, concluded Best.
EYES," replied Simmons, getting
-, to go away, I've got cold streaks
. ming up my legs, and that means
going to have dumb chills be
long. ."-TerGs Siftings.
The Editor of The Apdretta
~ Democrat is certainly entitled to s
"P' pathy. The other day he thus fra
took the public into confidence:
crave the indulgence of our reader