The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-08-15
A BRIGHT LIGHT pIMMED.
why Eli PERKINS Became an Inmate O
a Lunatic Asylum

Iunauc Asylum
What ruined me and got me into an
Idiot Asylum was this; used to have
a strong contempt for lawyers. l
thought their long cross-examinations
were brainless dialogues for no purpose.
But ever since Lawyer johnson had me
as witness in wood ease have had
a better opinion of the lawyers skill
In my direct testimony | had sworn
truthfully that John Hall had cut ten
cords of wood in three days Then
johnson sharpened his pencil and COM
menccd examining me.
Now, Mr.. Perkins," he began. "how
much wood do you say was cut by Mr..
Hall?"
Just ten cords. SIR" l answered,
boldly. Il measured it,"
That's your impression"
"Yes. sir."
"Well, we don't want impressions.
sir. What we want is facts before this
iury-fa-c-t-s, sir, facts"
THE witness will please state facts
hereafter" said the Judge, while the
CTlfusou Cdiiic W III id't'
Now, SIR" continued johnson,
pointing his finger at me. twill you
swear that it was more than nine
cords?'
"Yes sir. TWAS ten cords-just-'
There! never mind" interrupted
johnson.
"Now, how much less than twelve
cords were thcfe"
1.-Two cords, sir.
How do you know there were just
| two cords less, sira Did you measure
these two cords, sirp" asked Johnson
savagely.
mo sir, i"
There, that will do! You did no
measure 1t. just as | expected. AL
guess work. Now didn't you swear 8
moment ago that you measured THU
| wood?n
"Yes sir but"
"Stop. sir! The jury will note thii
discrepancy"
| Now, sill" continued johnson. slow
ly, as he pointed his finger almost dowr
my throat. Nov, sir, on your oath, vii
you swear that there were not ten cord
and halfp"
Eyes, SIR" / answered. meekly
"Well now. Mr.. Perkins, demand |
straight answers truthful answer sir
How much wood was there?'
"T-T-Ten &C cords" answered
hesitatingly.
you swear itp"
"I-I-d-d-do." '"
Now" continued Johnson, as h,
smiled satirically, do you know thu
penalty OF perjury. sirp"
Yes, sir, think"
"On your oath, on your sol MI
oath, with no evasion, are you willin,
to perjure yourself by solemnly swear
ing there were more than nine cords o
woodpn
"Ahai Yes, sir. You are willing T.
perjure yourself then2 Just as though
turning to the judge; you see, you
Honor that this witness is preyaricat
ing He is not willing to swear tina
there were more than nine cords G
wood 1t is infamous, gentlemen G
the jury, such testimony as this" TIL
jury nodded assent and smiled sarcast
Now" said johnson, Il will as
this perjured witness just one NOR
question"
II ask you, sir-do you know-do yo
realize, sir. what an awful-a-w-f-u
thing it is to tell lieP'
"Yes, sill, said, my voice trembling
'And, knowing this, you swear o
your solemn oath that there were abou
nine cords of woodp"
mo. sir. don't do ANYTHING Of
Hold on, sir! Now how do 20
know there were just nine cordsP"
Il don't know any such thing, sil
L"
"Aha! you don't know thenp Just &
l expected. And yet you swore you d.
know. Swore you measured it. Il
famous! Gentlemen of the jury, whit
shall we do with this perjurer?"
but /"
mot a word, sir.-hush! This jur
; shall not be insulted by perjurer!-
"Call the next witness!"
This is why am now keeping bool
,, in Lunatic Asylum. Perkins.