The Southern herald., 1885-07-18

THE President or THE rrfE grTE crTz
EDuLeEs ~ a FEW REFLECTIONS

AIR N=a 4 q E Sass = - 1A# HzH.
RDULcEs ~ a FEW REFLECTIONS
Detroit Free Press. Il should like ta +
spoke few remarks to Brudder Side
Bar skinner, observed the Presidenl.
as tae dust began 70 settle il Paradise
Hall.
Brother Skinner, who Is a young man /
Of twenty-three, with a mild eye and
lilac neeklis, advanced to the front. and
the President continued
HBrudder Skinner, de news has reach
ed my ears dat you am about 70 be
mar'd. ! trus' dat de report am true
bekase believe il am de dooiy Of eberY
young man Bho kin supporla wife q
take one.n
ct am true, sab"
''Den let me compliment yon wid one
hand, an spoke few remarks % YOU
lwid de Odder. Gitdn' mar'd has its
very serious side. Fur instance, am De
gal g,vine to mary you bekase she loves
lyou, or to spite her folkes bekase dey
kept her away from, de skatin' rink7
Am you gwine TO mary Dc gal fur love,
or bekase her father has some wealth
which you hope hen shell out fur your
beneft7
"Love am powerful emoshun, Brud-
der Skinner, but love widous pork and
'taters to keep it goin' am like de froth
on top Of soda water.
"Don't mistake your sentiments. Il
you am sartin dat you love, go ahead.
Titan only lollypop, hire Outas a deck
hand on steamboat fur week, an il
will all 60 away. ! hey known couples
ez seemed to be dyin' Of love. DEN
SILLY ackshuns made lem dc latin stock
of a hull nayburhood. Dey seemed te
dote and dote, but ii didn't last. Artel
a couple Of y 'ars de husband war a hons
grumbler an tyrant, an de wife gada
bout an a scold. What dey s'posed wa
love war only lOllypop.
"Don't marry a gal hopin, dat be
father win set you up in dc barber biz
ness. Mostfadder-in-laws not only wan
all dey hez got, but am willin' to strug
gle fur another $4,000.
''Doan' sot down an fgger dat fo
taters, loaf Of bread, half pound Q
meat an quart Of applesass am goin
to run you fur a week. You will nee
all de salary you kin ai'rn, an you ha
better look aroun' an find somebod
who will lend you q dollar now an ther
''Doan' hatter yourselves dat all yo
hev got to do am to hug in de house al
kiss ober de gate You'll be hungry fl
con beef and baked beans; your cloi
will war out; your -four an butter wi
- waste away, an bill fur two month
2 rent will send a chill up yer back. /
Il 4 man or woman who specks dat mar
80 ~ life am q green an shady lane, lint
9, = wild orange blossoms on one side an t
~ dollar bills on de odder, am gwine
~ =. wake up some day an find de rats leayi
- de place in disgust.
:: - "Think Of desc things, Brudder Ski
= ner. You kin get a wife in about f
- minutes, but it takes FIVE y'ars %
4, ~ shet Of some Of EN-. Expeok about 9
'n0 days sunshine fur a week Of cIou
:" - weather. Reckon on house rent com
're due de fust Of ebery month, an de g
rA' Ger an butcher keepin' an eye but
On, you each Saturday night. twill ami
nau you how de woodpile decides an h
sln de -four gifts outen de bar'l SO soon
NY Doan walk into matrimony like /
Y ster into box, but fgger on whether
len- bait am wuth de risks. If you concll
lur. to mary you kin depend on dis club
!. u tendin' de obsequles in body, bring
~ along . bounteous supply Of ham sa
~ wiches. If you decide. not to, 1t
'On probable dat you win soon be promo
lot to some posishun Of trust an respol
- bility.