The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-07-24
BROTHER GARDNER IN JAIL.
1hs Lime Min Club Demands satlsfactssns
Damages and Blood.

The Lime Min Club Demands sntiSfact50ns
Damages and Blood.
Detroit Free Press.l
As the members began TO fill the chairs
and benches In Paradise hall, and the hand
of the clock crept along toward the usual
hour for opening, there was much wonder
and speculation over the absence Of Brother
Gardner. 1t was noticed that Sir Isaac
Walpole, Elder Toots, and Judge Cadaver
were in close and earnest consultation, and
when the triangle finally sounded its note
Of warning there was an undefined fear that
something was about to happen-sonething
not down ON the usual programme.
SIR ISAAC EXPLAINS.
"My frens," said Brother Walpole, as a
solid hush fell upon the assemblage, 'our be-
loved president left fur de western part Of
de stait two days ago to deliber q lelstur
befo' body named DE Association fur de
Suppreshun of Corrupt legislators He
departed in response TO telegram an he
left in such hurry dat he took muffin wild
him except a pocket-comb an a change OF
paper collahs. He 'spected to return In
about twenty-four hours, but he am still
absent. an no word or line has bin received
from him. We will open de exercises by
singin' a song constructed and finished of
entirely by hand by dc Hon. Castof Jinkins,
Of Varginny."
4 JUST REWARD.
At the conclusion Of the song Waydown
Beebe arose with tears in his eyes and his
bosom making thirty-six revolutions per
minuta As chairman of the committee on
disinfectants and poetry he had offered
prize OF Sc to the best ode to the watermelon.
There was no need Of going any further or
waiting any longer. He should at once for
ward his note OF baud to the builder Of the
ode-a note drawn at one year, without in
dorsement or interest.
HEARD FROM
Brother Bebees heroic and philanthTopic
resolution was being vigorously cheered
when the keeper of the outer door announced
a communication and sent 1t up to the presi.
dents desk Sir Isaac Walpole was visibly
affected as he perused it, and in his nervous
excitement he lost one Of the eyes to his
spsctacles and knocked bottle Of ink off the
desk full upon the secretary's bald pate.
THUNpERBoLT
"My frens," said Sir Isaac as soon as he
could control his voice and stand on his legs.
'dIs message explains de mysterious absence
of our president. Listen while read:
ST. JOSEPH COUNTY, Mich,
In THE COUNTY JAIL.
NV Dear Brethren: At de close Of my
lectur' las mite was arrested on de charge
of havin' received bribe to inhooence my
offishul ackshun& Dey have taken me fur
a member of de legislachur, an l am
charged with havin' received de sum OF
$500 for my vote on land grant bill to
sartin railroad While 1t am, OF course,
case of mistaken identity, an while | shall
eventually emerge from dis cell winter dan
eut-loaf su2a-, popular indignashun has SO
blinded de public dat you may not see me
bone fur seberal days-perhaps week.
Some of you go ober an see de ole woman
an, lend her few shillin's to run de house
ON until my return, an some mo- Of you be
prepar'd to take a freight train fur dis
place upon receipt Of postal keerd. shall
bey to be identified, an shall hev to prove
dat ! heven't bin widin fifty miles of de
house of representatives doorin' de present
seshum. Let Sir Isaac Walpole be called
To dc char. an let de meetin' 60 on de same
as il de dishonesty Of high public oflshuls
had not brought dis calamity upon us.
Bro. GARDNER
CONFUSION.
An was uproar and confusion at once.
Giyeadasn Jones called for 500, 900 volunteers.
armed with 500, 900 bone handled razors, to
follow him to the rescue, and to shed 100, ,00
gallons Of blood to wipe out the insult.
Shindig Watkins said be was ready to lay
down his life, IL necessary. and his words
were echoed by Judge Cadaver. Cohorts Per
kins Trustee Pullback and fifty Others. apd
the enraged mob glared around for victin.
Sir Isaac spoke soothingly. 1t was q mis-
take which had often happened before it
had often been remarked that Brother Gard
ner looked like member Of the legislature,
and the people who caused his arrest would
willingly apologize as soon as their victim
was properly identified. As for the routine
business OF the meeting. it had all been upset,
and he thought the wisest policy was to
adjourn.
fhe decision was concurred in by the Rev.
Penstock, Waydown Bebee and other infiu-
ential members, and motion to adjourn
was carried. The hall then became the head
quarters OF such an excitement that the
police several times raped on the alley door
and threatened arbitrary measures 1t was
finally decided by ths members Of the club:
/. To raise $40 and employ lawyer who
can cry to jury.
2. To forward q committee OF five men,
bers by the first Blue Line freight train
| g. To demand full satisfaction for the in
| suit, and to accept nothing less than $50, 600
damages
4 10 take said $50, 900 damages and erect
q now Paradise hall.