Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1885-09-17
HUMOROUS.

The Governor of the State Prison
ought TO be piticd, for man witt siN
or eight hundred felons on his hand Il
deserving Of sympathy. -LoweH CO.
i.cn
Joseph Taylor ofers to let the cur.
rent carry him over Niagara Falls for
$1,000. Mr. Taylor is cNtrayagan:.
IL Is believed the current will undertake
the Job for a much less sum. --PUck.
Fencing is the new craze among
young ladies. Well. il they will occupy
the fence occas onally it will give Ia,
gate rest. and the whole business W III
wear out together. - Chicago Tribune.
"A man in Long Wood, Fla, re.
Gently exchanged a weekly paper for a
mule. This trade WAS not so inappro.
pirate as it would seem at first blush.
They are both elevators of the human
race.-1hc JUdge.
Arc you superstitious. my dcar?'
said Miss Birdie McGinnis TO newly.
arrived stranger in Austin. to VIII IN
she had become engaged. "Not bit.
but why do you ask?' replied the
youth ''Nothing, exc pit you are the
thirteenth young gentleman to whom
have been engaged. -1cras SltiHg .
"A man claiming to be scientist
wants some one to bore the earth ia
prevent its bursting. We have a fre Il
who we think would be able TO do H.
Up 10 this time he has devoted all III.
boring energies TO us, and we would be
glad to see Inn try it on the rest Of tae
eartb. - boston Post
"a litile boy was told that he must
never ask for anything at the table. rs
II was not goo manners 10 do so. The
consequence was that lie was frequent.
ly overlooked. One day his father sad:
johnny, get me clean plate for my
lettuce. Take mine. pa; It's clean,
and he added. with q sigh There
hasn't been any thing pu, on it yet -
Terds S0imgs
bessie, bit Of a blue eyed girl,
was about TO GO with her aunt to dine
at friends house. don't fora ct
your manners. Bessie" said her moth.
er. ''lie sure 10 say yes. sir. mo. sir,
aud yes, ma'am' and no ma'am when
any one speaks TO you" At the tab e
the inst quest on asked Ler was: "l'es.
sic, will you have some soupP" "He4.
sir; no, sr; yes ma'am; no, ma'am.
said Bessie, family. while every body
burst out laughing - GOldeH DayS.
doctor Have you got the better Of
the ague yet? Patient-NO, sor. Mo
au' my wife Is as bad as iver. sOr. Doc.
tor-Did you get that whisky and qui.
nine ] prescribed? Patient Yis sor;
but II did no good at all, at all. Doc.
tor That Is straDgel You took il ac.
cord ng to Instructions, 1 suppose!
Patient -Yis. sori y0 know a man and
his wife are one. Doctor What has
that TO do with itP Patient Well, ye
see. sor bein' as we are one flesh. / tux
the whissy aud gave B.ddy the quinine.
The Bhip.
-eYou dor seem 10 have the slight
est knowledge ~ natursl philosophy. "
grOwle q man. rs the ice-lhan left =
chunk on the Sidewalk. with a what.
tie deucc-do.yoil-mcan esp essiOn i1
his eye. the dispenser Of frigid water
retorted; "ies. do" Then what
do you mean by leaving 20 small q piece
OF ice on a rod.hot day and such large
chunks in cold weather. "ljecause
know that heat expands and cold con.
tracts. II left you b ggor piece tlis
morning, before night i woali swell 20
that yoi conldn 1 get i Ia your iefdger-
ator. Goo l-day' Chfeag0 Times.