Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1885-10-29
CHESTNUTS TREEDs
BY MART FLTPPIN."
For tic Sentinel.

BY "MART FLIPPIN."
For tie Sentinel.
= When did it hail Columbia?
- When business looks blue the
merchants should "paint the town red.''
- The wisdom of the owl is not to
be hooted at, but don't say hoot told you.
"The cold water ratification is
conducive to freeze speech."-N Y. Morn
ing Journal Well, ice should smile
x The melancholy jokes have come
the sadtlest to the ear; seersucker coats
have had their boom, and the chestnut crop
is here.
"Can any one improve his con-
dition by whining? If not, whine not
Pretzets Weekly. Howl long has this joke
been in use.
"NEw TEETH.-Doc Burton has put
some new teeth in the head of his Baton
1witeheiPs Gorham Mountaineer. They are
not "o.d saw" teeth either.
= John O'Brien's elephant, EN-
press" is the only. traveller that can stand
the "baggage-smashers off. They don't
dare to monkey with her trunk.
"The question is up in an En-
glish court whether wedding presents belong
70 the wife or the husband "-PretzePs Week
ly. That depends upon the wife.
= "Girl-Gimmo quater pound of
tea quick. Clerk-What kind, green or
black? Girl-The blacklist you've got. It's
for a colored funeral."-B Bdrbers' Gasette
This was originally an Irish joke, but the
BARRIERS have dyed it black; and now, since
it has died, may its ashes rest in peace.
Thine is money with us" said the
| head of business firm in Winston to u
tramp who was boring him. every min
ute is worth dollar to us now" you are
the man I'm lookin' fur" replied the tramp
"Wish you'd gimme change fur an hour
please"
"Since Physiology is becoming
| such an important branch of study in our
common schools, will some one tell us in
what part of the human anatomy the bone
of contention is placed.-Salem academy.
Our knowledge of Physiolgy is somewhat
limited, but we are inclined to believe that
the bone of contention is located in the chin
of the female.
1t is wonder that the waltz
By all the stricter sccts is hated.
Whatever be its other faults
1t surely makes us dizzy -pated.
Roxbury 4dpoeate.
| It is no wonder how the dance
BY all the gentler is rated.
| Whatever be its other chance
1t surely makes us feel elated.
= We wish to inform our friends
and the public generally that we are pre-
pared to furnish stoye-pipe jokes with ruff
| fed edges, any size, for half the original
cost. Any one in .ti'in9inq on these original
ideas of ours will be saturated in coal-oil
| and allowed to burn whenever the stove de-
cides to draw, which, If like our creditors,
| will be on sight Put this in your stove
| pipe and smoke it.
- Grocer, to clerk, who has con-
L
kept you 70 long at dinner, John? You
must have had fish for dinner" Clerk-"So
did sir, and it took some time for them to
soak sir. You remember what you told
Mrs. Hardfare, who complained about the
so,i t fth you sold her yesterday. You told
her she didn't let them soak sufficiently and
l thought 'twould be better to lose an hour
in soaking the fish than to lose a week
while the fish were soaking me. You'll find
sir, that there's nothing fresh about me-"
-"Cold is said to contract; and
| yet we remember that when we were out
spending the evening with girl who was
particularly cold totIs, the evening really
appeared to expand, until, indeed, it seemed
quite as long as Monday morning clothes
line Yonkers .Statesman.-It was all your
own fnult Yos didn't court according to
contract-in the first place, the girl (being
the cold body) was the thing to contract
=nl you didn't ntract her. And in the
second place, had you desired to have con,
tracted for anything in the "clothes-line'
| you should have consulted tailor. Or
another effect might have been produced, II
the father of the girl had been cold. His
frigidity might have contracted the evening
which would have given you an opportunity
to contract cold out-of-doors, while you
were expanding the distance hetween you
and the af6re mentioned father. However
yon will unders: and philosophy better as
| you grow b-older.