, 1885-02-26
~JARPHLY'S RECEIPT.
HE THINKS 4 DISH OF HERBS BET
TER THAN A STABILIZED OK.
At the Dinner Table In n cranky Humos
Carrots and Caper sauce-hr.
Jarphly Expresses His Sat
isfaotion-The Cost.

F"NN
~why in thunder can't you do things nice.
like other womenr Mr. Jarphly was seated
at the dinner table in a very cranky humor.
He had had a hot discussion with a man
upon civil-service reform, and the man told
him ho knew nothing about the matter, and
called him q Hgaloot" Not only had he
called Mr.. Jarphly a a~galoot," but no had
added injury to insult by citing facts and
figures to prove it. He was a bigger man
than Mr.. Jarphly, so the latter had bottled
up his wrath and brought it home for his
wife.
Some MIN have that habit
why can't you get up appetizing dishes
like other womenF continued the disguised
civil-service roformer.
"Why, l can, Jeremiah, u quietly remarked
Mrs. Jarphly, whose complacency was not
to be disturbed by any ebulliticn OF temper
on the part OF the reformer, for the lady had
that morning spent three hours In engineer
ing a ~dilapidated polonaise into a basque 10
match n dark overskirt; and having, by the
assistance Of much pursuing Of lips and
bending Of eyebrows, and navigating OF
scissors-points In geometrical lines over her
knees, accomplished the feat, felt a placid
equanimity known to all true women who
hav conquered a dilapldated p~olonaise.
"No, you don't" snapped Mr.. Jnrphly.
-You spend money enough for things, but
you Amt got the know howl"
Mrs. Jarphly smiled, and Mr.. Jarphly
wondered IL he could borrow money enough
to take him to Alaska.
THERE'S Mrs. Ploughgit." he continued.
why can't you cook liks hort l won't to
dinner tho other day with Ploughgit, and
what do you suppose they hadF
aWhatf7
They had lots OF things, but what took
my eye was some c~arrotsl My, but they
were delicious. didn't eat anything else
nothing but just those carrotsi They'd been
sliced aud fried, and Mrs. Ploughgit had
them fixed out with a white sauce with some
sort Of sour things in it-a, what do you
call 'emf'
"capersf' suggested Mrs. Jarphly.
@Yes, capers l tell you, but 1t was an inn
mense dish
"MrS Ploughgit mebbe can afford such
things" quietly remarked Mrs. Jarphly. .
"Affordf" cried Jarphly in derision- "Why,
l asked her, and what do you think IL costT'
"How muchf'
1.-TWO centsi" fairly yelled Jarphly. "Yes'm,
9 centsl That's what It costs Mrs Ploughgit
to get up a dish fit to set before a kingl She
used two big carrots, and they cost her just l
cent apiece in the market, she told me. Now,
why can't you do something like thatf7
Mn Jarphly opened her lips to make a re-
ply. but like n sensible woman closed them
again, and allowed Mr.. Jarphly to enjoy his
III humor.
AT dinner next day Mr.. Jarphly found a
dish of fried carrots done up with sauce In a
style that beat Mrs. P~loughgit's all hollow.
@Well, l declare, Martha" he exclaimed,
@you do know something. These are splen-
did,
Mrs. Jarphly smiled.
Mr.. Jarphly vigorously applied himself to
81. ll-t uNJo- 4,..& l.~t - III -
live On q little expenditure IL we can only
have the know how he remarked with a
feeling Of self-laudation, for having impreg-
mated Mrs Jarphly's mind with a notion of
dressed carrots That's as good as roast
beef to me any day, or spring chicken
either. " said he, "and If you'd only use a lit
tie skill and brains you could easily save
enough out OF the table money to buy your
self a spring silk every year"
Not on carrots" quietly remarked Mrs
Jarphly.
"WhatIp exclaimed her husband.
@Not on carrots, Jeremiahf I'd just as
lief, SO far as expense goes, give you spring
chicken or roast turkey, for that matter"
why, Martha, you must be crazyl' cried
Mr.. Jarphly.
Not at ALL" placidly responded Mrs.
Jarphly. "You wanted carrots lone up
like Mrs. Ploughgit's and l did 'em for you.
They cost about o shillings."
"Go away"
"Fact." cooIy replied Mrs. Jarphly.
How in thunder do you make that Quit"
Carrots, 2 cents Half a pound OF butter
to fry them brown in, 10 cents Quart of
milk for sauce, 8 cents. Two eggs to break
in the sauce, 5 cents. Bottle Of capers, 40
cents. Half a te%aspoonfnl of Liebig's to
give a piquant to tho sauce flavor, so cents a
small jar. or course-"
@Oh. shut upI"
Jeremiah, the next time you discoverR
dish 1 can save up n spring silk on just
bring it around, won't your and Mrs.
Jarphly smiled a smile of triumph.