The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-01-24
LOVE. HONOR AND OBEY"
tome Facts Concerning the Question o
vVifely Obedience.

tome Facts Concerning the Question of
yvIfely Obedience.
A young woman of eighteen who mar
lied man of forty the other day in a
Newark church crooked her finger dur
ing the ceremony so that the groom
contrary to his former experiences on
such occasions-was unable to get the
ring beyond the second joint. Upon
being asked during the reception that
followed as to the cause of the hitch in
the proceedings at the altar, the young
lady explained that she made a mental
reservation in repeating the promise to
love, honor and obey, and had also kept
the ring from going lower down because
she had heard that if it was stopped at
the second joint the wife would be able
to rule the husband, while II it went to
the hand the husband would be SUI
preme.
The superstition about crooking tho
finger is not very prevalent, and the
ring almost always goes clear down,
but there is reason to believe that the
mental reservation in the promise of
obedience is common enough. In fact,
the notion that the modern woman
''obeys" her husband in any such
sense as is meant by the words of the
marriage service is a mere myth that
has come down with the marriage
formula. The same equalizing spirit
that has so modified woman's statutes
NJ tn OH ch ha old
and his wife are legally one person, and
to enable her to hold and manage her
own property almost as Independently
as the husband can manage his, has
nearly wiped out the idea of obedience
from the ordinary estimate of the holy
estate of matrimony. Practically speak
ing, the woman rules fully as often as
the man-more arbitrarily sometimes =
more absolutely in some cases than a
man ever would think of doing.
Time was when for refractory dis
position man might lawfully correct
his wife by a vigorous application of the
birch. The punishment must in all
cases be reasonable, and it was held
that he must not fog her with stick
thicker than his thumb; but she could
be reduced to submission by the man of
the house, if frequent whippings would
do it, not only withcat danger of pun
ishment to the man, but with the posi-
tive approval of his neighbors and prob
ably also of all his wifes friends. If
domestic discipline in those days proved
insufficient to control her tongue-for
it was for offenses of speech rather than
deed that the wife was commonly cor
rected was taken before the Mag
istrate and tried for a common scold,
and if convicted was set upon the public
ducking-stool by the constable and
soused in horse pond or some. conven-
lent river.
1t is perhaps to be regretted that no
statistics are or can be kept showing
the extent and usual consequences of
quarrels between married people, and
it would be interesting to know if such
information was attainable whether,
on the average, matrimonial unions
were happier and more peac eful when
the husband had the legal right and
practical power to compel obedience
from the wife than they are now when
he has only shadowy and sentimental
sort of obedience-if he has any at all
that is supposed to be inculcated by the
language used in the wedding ceremony
There is sort of womanly obedience
that amounts to devotion. 1t comes
only from women who are capable of
great love, and from them only when
it happens that they are joined to men
who are fortunate enough to command
their utmost respect as well as affcc-
ton. If all the men in large city
were to be called together and asked to
raise their right hands if they believed
themselves masters of their. own homes
through love, it is to be feared that
not more than half the arms would 90
up.
In point of fact women are much
more fond of control at home than men
are, and much more likely to exercise
it. 1t is common to hear a woman boast
how she manages her husband, and
very often-perhaps it may be said gen.
erally-her management is most Judi
cious In many things woman has
more tact than man, and she is likely
enough to have that superiority of
judgment which fairly entities her to
obedience.
1t would get red of a sort of harmless
sham to give up the entire notion of a
married woman's subordinate position
by which she owes to her husband some
sort of obedience which he does not owe
to her. In this age and country the
thing itself does not exist A child is
supposed to obey its parents, and citi-
zen to obey the laws; but nobody sup
poses that, in any like manner, wife
obeys her husband or is bound to obey
him. The Newark girl was right in her
view of the case, though she took not
very efficacious method of avoiding the
danger. There is no sense in putting
into woman's mouth promise of ODE
dience which she never intends to keep.
Detroit Post.