Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-26
BRIGHT BITS.

Your FATHER is entirely bald, isn't hep
said man to son Of a millionaire. eyes, y
replied the youth, sadly; Pm the only heir
he has left "-HGrtford Times.
BROWN Ito Jones' who has Just returned
from weeks fishing eXcursOn): Did you
have pretty good luck, Jone Jones with
disgust: Good luck2 l had an ace full beat
twice Life.
NEWTONVILLE MAN was lately inquirng
among his friends if they knew of anvbody
whom he could get 70 sew on q few buttons
|. 10 seld lls wife belonged 70. 80 many literary
clubs sile .9iid not have time 10 attend ia
anything of that kind ,-R5stot Gol1btohloedIth
EEsTERpAY WAS claimed to sbe the fftieth
I anplyer,arY of the birth OF, Milwaukee, which
was settled IN 1855, though not Incorporated as
city tiH9SiS. hut its growth ia half a cen e.
tury. aud 9Ff0sent vigoF are attesied in the
ability annually Of its 10000 inhabitants TO
consume $4,000 barrels of its own lager beer.
r-CA8ee9e 1rfdEae. lsIe. .e.uF
Now1TahT l have boHgErta pistol, wife, we
need havs no fear Of burglars Have you
. placed At in convenient place2H ...s-
aHless Ige, locked up in my empty trunk,
and I've thrown away the Kew"
What did you do that fOr?" ~
'Beeause WIS Tfraid you'd shoot your
seiIsf iROsfO's i8oug3ers g = ~.
PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY: Oars mighty
few promises OATS hofs good, De peartest
boy something's turns out ter be de iazles' man.
DQ quick nan amt alius de bes' han ter do
erpicee O work, De bes' rain comes from de
SOW cloud Oar amt no 4iope fur de born
fool De bigger de chances yer gin him TO
show dati he hsh got sense do mo- he will
pTube dat he User foOl,--A ckaaS9ap ZrG0eler.
MAMA said Bobby. 'does the Lord
love little ehildFenT gaw fsW
20, yes indeed, 5repl,ed mamma.
And, DOGS he love to romp With them?"
"Rofnp with thenlY what put thar into
vour mead. POhbyg'n G9FBG : -FH
'~MyASunday school teaeher She said that
whomsoevcr the Lord loveth He chaseth. y
Mean York Star.
FIRST Young MAN (reputed 10 be suitor
Of Miss \. "A very well dressed lot OF girls.
Horatio?"
second Young Man (suitor)-"Admirably
and none OF them better than Miss Y"
First Young Man-"O! Miss y always dis
tancesfhem all. They say, Horatio, that she
has forty gowns hanging in her closet"
Second Young Man"-Forty? Gosh. No
room for trousers there. "-Neao York Sun.
= BELGIAN has invented coffin that makes
it impossible for any one to be buried alive
The pressure OF the earth thrown upon the
Id OF the coffin liberates a sort OF stiletta
which IS so placed that upon being Olsen
gage'i IL pierces the heart of the occupant.
On the whole, this new invention is not aleu-
lated to reassuTe those who fear that thew
may be buried alive.-Nel0 York Tribune.
THE NEVADA PEOPLE manifest a natural
anxiety lest the political contest between
Me.srs. MackaY and Fair be com promised in
some WdN OF Otncr. IL Woulh ne great blow
10 the political industry OF the Pacific slope il
mr.. Mackay were to abandon his scheme of
recollection 10 the Senate. We hope Mackay
wit make up his mind as TO what he 10 gong
to do, 10" II ne draws out of the Nevada fight
some other means OF getting the vast treasury
surplus in circulation will have to be devised.
Chicago Net0s.
MAN met his Pastor last Thursday, and,
with cleaning eyes and an excited snake OF
the hand, cried out: "IIave you any news
from the race-which is ahead?" The Pastor
said: NO" and as he walket away thought
within himself: "HOw strange! We have
had revivals Of religion. That mans own
children have been anxious. but he never
showed half The interest in their conversion
that he manifested IN this boat race" IL was
strange. but such things account for many
otherwise ineNplicable problems.- Christian
A dBOcets.