davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
manitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, MAY Z, 1885.
The Clown Has Had His Day.

cit is a sad fact" mournfully said
veteran circus manager. ''bpt it is be-
yond dispute that the days of the joke
cracking and song-singing clown are
over He expired when the double
circus-ring came into vogue. In his
place the horse-play or pantomimic
Grimaldi arose"
s.How did the double ring kill the
witty (?) clown?" asked a reporter for
the Mail and Express.
The vast audience could not hear
him. The miles of canvas, the amphi-
theatre, filled with 10000 people, made
the great lung power necessary to be
heard an utter impossibiiity. The
large railroad travelling circuses have
nothing but pantomimic clowns. In
the small shows where actors are few
and something must be done to fill in
the time for the acrobats or whatever
they may be to rest, before they appear
in some other daring feats under other
dazzling names, the song-singing, pun
ming clown is used. But he is fast go
ing out for other reasons. The news
papers and almanacs contain nearly
all the jokes and puns, and to repeat
them over and over again becomes
monotonous and tires even those who
do not read. Then to supplant this,
horse-play was invented"
''What do you mean by horse-playP"
Broad humor. For instance, the
clown sticks a needle in chair, and
the ringmaster innocently sits down On
it. He gets up in a hurry. This kind
of fun tickles the audience. They see
it and understand the point made, but
it is not SO with pun or joke. l was
clown before | became proprietor and
l know all the inside tricks of the pro-
flesh. When l travelled in the small
towns of 5000 and 10000 inhabitants l
always managed to pump some garru-
lous man in the town before the per-
Torrance, so as to get off a local gag.
This always pleased the audience, and
occasionally caused little row if the
gag was at the expense of some fell
low in the audience. Then | would
sing song and hear all the little boys
in the streets singing it afterwards.
There was some glory in that. But
now the clown must be tirst-class
tumbler and good pantomimist to
succeed. He sinks his individuality
with some ten or fifteen others, who
come out caparisoned in caps and bells.
The lines are drawn and the old order
giveth way to the new. Grimaldi's
mask has more fun in it than Dan
Rice's double entendre jokes. Sic
transit gloria mundi. IN Y. Mail.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Anecdotes of Schenck.

Gen. Robert c. Schenck is one of the
last of the whig gentlemen who adorn-
ed the national metropolis. His mill
tary career in the war was not remark
ably brilliant, but his wound secured
pension for him, and his diplomatic
services at London were very credita-
BILE, although an attempt was made to
connect him with the famous Emma
Mine" Dom Piatt always insisted
that as humorist Schenck should be
ranked next to Corwin, and, as a proof
of the general wit, told story about
him at dinner of divines. One of the
theologians had just returned from a
tour through Arabia, Persia, and the
Holy Land. He was full of travelled
talk of dreamy, prosy sort, and at
last turned on the cavernous character
of the country. Full of holes?" cried
Schenck, that is the reason, l sup
pose, that it is called the Holy Land"
''Ah! no, my dear SIR" responded SOL
EMMY the old clergyman; sit is so des-
lgEated because our Savior was born
and suffered there" Schenck said
'.Ah!' and looked as solemn as gate
post.
On another occasion, shortly after
his return from his diplomatic mission
to South America, he was with some
friends at a country house in Montgom-
cry county, Maryland. The host, a
good old, but somewhat ignorant, man,
asked one of the guests who Robert G.
Schenck was. why" responded the
questioned individual, "he is our min
lister, just home from South America. "
lis hep" said the old gentleman. When
they were seated at the dinner-table,
to the amazement of all, the good old
gentleman said solemnly: Brother
Schenck, will you ask a blessing?"
Schenck responded with more force
than politeness that he would not.
And all laughed when they learned
that the host COMPOUNDED a minister
plenipotentiary with a minister of the
gospel.
Gen. Schenck has for some years
past resided at Washington, where he
owns a handsome house facing on
Thomas circle, at the West end. He
was for some years a confirmed inva-
lid, and was afflicted with Bright's dis
ease of the kidneys, when his physician
prescribed a skimmed-milk diet, which
completely cured him, and he has since
enjoyed excellent health.-Ben: Perley
POOre, in Boston Budget.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
A Kiss On the Shoulder,

On one occasion was to dine with
him at the house of Nine. Edmond
Adam, who is the editress of the Nou-
velle Revue and who has one of the
most fashionable salons in Paris. Gen.
Galiffet was late. He finally arrived at
7;15 and advanced toward the hostess.
who was standing near the mantel-
piece.
Nine. Adam wore a beautiful dress of
black velvet, with very decollete cor
sage, above which her brunette beauty
shone like marble of Pradier's.
Galitfet advanced, bowed, and said
with admiration:
''Sapristi! Those beautiful shout
dersr
And then, in too stiff and soldierlv a
manner perhaps, he bent over and
lightly printed kiss on her right
shoulder.
Nine. Edmond Adam grew rosy with
Indignation and slapped the general S
face.
This did not trouble him in the least.
He bowed again with infinite respect
and, with gesture of admirable ia
tuity, said:
''Since | know the price," Aud
kissed the other shoulder. San Fran
CISCO IngLeSide.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Brought to Bay.

Plunkett McCook, an ex-member of
the Texas Legislature. was tried for
highway robbery and found guilty.
Judge Noonan, before passing SEN
tence, asked the prisoner:
Prisoner, if you know of any miti-
eating circumstances you are at liberty
to state them"
Eyes. was ruined by my associates
in the Legislature. don't know of
any other mitigating circumstances,
except that l was in hopes that by i'm
proving my financial condition l might
be improved morally"
His Honor, in passing sentence, re-
marked cynically that as long as he
was in the penitentiary he would be
atoning in a manner for the injuries he
had inflicted on the people by his ca
reer of crime in the Legislature. Ten
as SiftingS.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
He Didn't Die.

Moses Rabbenstein had gone to Eu-
rope on business, and, of course, held
return-trip ticket. When in London
he was taken dangerously i'll, and for a
while it looked as if Moses was going
to meet his namesake.
Il dond wand to tie here" he moan
ed, Il want to 60 pack home"
"Do you want to die there?" asked
the heartless nurse.
mo, dond wand to tie dare neider,
pud eef hat to tie, l want to tie at
home,' groaned the careful Moses.
What difference does it make?
This country is good enough, l think.
You had better be preparing to meet
your maker"
''Dot ish all right, mine trent. l
dond dink | am afrait, pud voult feel
SO mooch peter eef vas ad home"
care you ready to die?"
"No, unit l won't pc undill l kets
home. Mine trent, ven dels you dot
eff tie in Englant lose vot | pait vor
dot redurn teeget, you will untersthant
w Ivoult tie SO mooch happier in ter
poosom oof my family. "-Merchant
IrQCeter.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
How She Beat the Old Man.

A good story about the Arion ball is
told by New York correspondents: A
well-known man in the beau monde
fell victim early in the evening to the
charms of particularly fascinating
little siren. His devotion continued
all the evening, but the siren was OBJ
durate and refused her name or a
glimpse of her face. Finally she agreed
upon the presentation of nice new
500 bill, to let him know next day her
name and address, requesting him at
the same time to make a note of the
number of the bill. Wednesday the
unfortunate man received the follow
ing epistle. Dear Papa-I am so
dreadfully hard up this month. Can't
l keep your nice new bank note, No.
- Your affiectionate daughter,
-" Signing the name of the
good mans young and handsome
daughter, | saw the letter before it
was dispatched, and beyond that nv
knowledge does not 90, but l would be
willing to wager that the larky parent
in question will never see that bank
note again.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Scared to Death by a Cat,

"'Fore God | believes de cat scared
dat man to DEATH" said a witness be-
fore a coroner's jury in Atlanta the
other morning.
Lewis Perkins, a negro, died sudden
negro. Saturday evening he quit work
at the usual hour, and after drawing
his pay went home. He ate hearty
supper and passed the evening talking
to the family. When bedtime came he
retired. He slept on pallet on the
floor in the same room with a colored
man named Sutton. He slept soundly
until about three o'clock, when he
awoke the other occupants of the room
by giving utterance to the most piteous
groans and calling loudly for help.
Sutton sprang from his bed and has
tened to the pallet while his wife made
light. The light showed that Per-
kins was lying flat on his back with his
eyes and mouth wide open. His fea-
lures were greatly distorted. His eye
balls were nearly out of sockets, and
his general appearance indicated that
he was terribly frightened. Sutton
placed his hand under Perkins head
and raising him up asked:
whats the matter, Lewis?"
Perkins made several attempts to
speak. His jaws would move but his
tongue failed to do his bidding. Final
ly, however, he appeared to concen-
trate his powers of speech, and with a
terrible effort uttered the words:
''Cat, cat, Ca"
Before finishing the last word his
eyes rolled about in his head. His
body gave one immense shake and he
fell back dead. Early in life Perkins
was severely bitten by cat. His arm
still shows the marks made by the
vicious cats ugly teeth. The bite made
him averse to cats. He was actually
afraid of them, and the several witness
es before the jury of inquest yesterday
stated that they had seen Perkins run
away from a cat frequently. A cat
was found in the room where Perkins
died, and one witness asserted most
positively that Perkins had been scared
to death by a cat.-Attanta ConStitu
tLOn
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
CHEER UPl HELP is AT HAND.

Il N afraid l shall have to be taken to
hospital or to the poorhouse. I've been
sick SO long that my bus band, good and
patient as he is, can't stand the worry and
expense much longer" No, you won t
dear wife and mother. See what Parker
Tonic will do for you. Plenty of women
are as badly off as you are, have been
rescued almost from the grave BIZ it. T.
viii bnild you up, euring all ailments OF
the stomach, liver and kidneys, aud is
simple. pleasant and safe.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Mothers.

and the many Threat Affections of children.
promptly, pleasantly and safely re ieved by
Rough on Coughs" Troches. l5c.; Baisam, PC
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

three or four hours every night coughing. Get
immediate relief and sound resi- by using Wells
Rough on Coughs" Troches TO-; Balsom %"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
"Ecush en- Germs"

PalpitatOu. Dropsical S.eliings. Dizziness.
Indigestion. Headache, Sieepiessness cured 10y
Wells Health Remover"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Lite Pres

Ifyou are railing, broken, worn out and ner-
vous, use Wells Health Remover" 81. Drug
gisjS.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

1t is computed that Z, people go
int London by rail ey y to earn
their livelihood, and leave 1t at night,
and yet an accident rarely occurs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Thin PEOPLE.

Rough "a Pain" Eo-oused Plaster;
Strengt hening, improved. the best for back
ache. lains in cheSi or side, rheumatism, neu-
raIgia
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

Massachusetts, has more than one
hundred women serving on her schools
boards this years.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

Wells Health Remover restores health and
ylgor. Gu. es Dyspepsia, Headache, Nervous
ness, Debility. 81.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
tEcucb On Itch

Catarrhal Threat Affections.
Hacking, irritating Coughs, Colds, Sore Throat.
cured by Rough on Coughs" Troches I5c.
LIQUID. PIC
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Rough On Toothacls."


If you are losing your grip on life. try Wells
Health Remover" Goes direct TO the weak spot
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Heait Pair

Clears out rats. mice. reaches, lilies. ant. bed
bugs, skunks. chipmunks, gophers. 15c. Drug
giStS
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

Ask for w lis Rough on Corns" I5c Quick
complete cure. Hard or soft cornS, warts, bun
ions.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

'EcCush on Itch.
Rough on Itch" cures humors. eruption
rlng-worm, letter, salt rheum, frosted fee
chiilblains.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07


Ladies who would retain freshness and vi
vacity, don't fail to try Wells Health Renew CT
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
WIT AND HUMOR.

Her little mum is wee enough
To grace Paris dolls trousseau,
And yet her hand and snow-white cuff
Seem quite content in there to go.
1t holds her hand quite tight, know.
And when the wind is blowing rough,
AS on we walk through drifting snow,
/ wish my hand could be-her mutt
Washington Ratchet
"Give you kiss indeed said she.
Give you kiss? my goodness!
IT'S strange that you should be SO free,
wonder at your rudeness.
/ could not such thing endure;"
And then. with manner nervous,
She added, For I'm very sure
That some one would observe u.s."
Boston Courier.
His nose was red as a danger-light
And his eyes were sunken and dim.
He called for rum, and at once he filed
The tumbler up to the brim.
But the barkeeper drew the tumbler back,
As he glanced the customer DER,
And said, MY friend you have made a mis-
take
We don't keep wholesale store"
Boston Courier.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

The Hope Of the NatiCn.
Children, slow in development. puny. scrawny
and delicate, use Wells Health Renewer.'
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
Pretty Wome

Instant relief for Neuralgia, Touthache Face
ache Ask for Rough on Toothache." 10 and
p cents.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07
'Pop~h an Cor,ehs Is
sROurh On Ra.

Ask Tor "Rough on Coughs" FOR Coughs,
Colds. Sore Throat, HoarSeness. Troches, l5c.
Liquid, 25c.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

Rough On Paine" Pcrousea PLASTER:
Strengr hening, improved, the best TOR back
ache, pains in chest or side, rheumatism, neu-
raIgia
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-05-07

Near Chickasawhatchee, Ga, says the
Savannah News, line of earthw orks
can still be seen which were thrown up
by Gen. Jackson (Old Hickory as
protection against the Indians on his
march to Florida through that section
in 1918.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-03-10
TAN WICK TELLS ON TELLER.

Senator VAN WICK of Nebraska elected from
Senator TELLER, on yesterday, his maiden
effort in the senatorial arena by terrific
onslaught on the Backbone railway. TELLER
imagined himself before court, as the at
torney of the corporate interest with which he
has been identified all of his professional life.
To VAN WYcK's allegations against the late
administration 10 the effect that favoritism
had been shown the Backbone outfit, he tes-
tily replied that the senator from Nebraska
had perpetrated his speech with "blood and
thunder designs on the public, and that be
was not sincere In his declarations in the in
terest OF settlers, as he had failed to lift up his
voice in behalf of other settlers under
like circumstances. Whatever may have
been VAN Wrecks motive, the subject natter
and spirit Of his speech were to the point
and TELLER but proved that he Is another
added to the corporation attorneys from
which the ranks of the senate are being re-
cruited. TELLER's citation of the case of the
Northern Pacific grant in connection with
the reason that the Northern Pacific has
earned its grant and the Backbone has not,
aud never viii. The Northern Pacific has
expended millions of dollars and baukrupted
many millionaires in earning its grant, and
it IS clearly entitled TO II, whereas the specu-
lative corporations, which have failed to show
an intent even, find champions on the floors
Of congress for more potent reasons than
performance of the provisions Of charters.
1t Is to be hoped that the new administration
viii so administer the land laws that the line
may be drawn on the equities between cor
porate interest and the settlers, and not on
the influences brought to bear on legisla-
tion
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-03-10
CHAT ABOUT WOMEN.

Knoxville, H.. young lady went to bed one
night with jug of hot water at her feet, but
woke up to find the.jug burst and her feet badly
frozen.
1t is said that jaded and broken-down New
York bellies now betske themselves to Lake
wood, N. j., which place is said to be wonder
fully healthy. 1t is wonderfully fashionable, and
wonderfully expensive, OF course.
The most attractive feature of Mrs. McElroy's
Saturday receptions has been the winding u p
with the tea parry in the corridor on the second
floor, which the ex-president has made so pretty
with odds and ends OF furniture picked up about
the house.
We are informed that st. Louis girl who has
been visiting Chicago during our German opera
season wrote back home that she never en-
joyed anything more than the performance of
Tsnnhauser' by the D-mrosch troupe. Chi
cago News.
OF the 500, 900 widows in India under 10 years
Of age. who are prohibited from marrying again,
according to the laws Of the country, 200. 900
are less than "a years old, and $4,000 less
than Q.
Judge Greene, the chief justice of Washing
ton territory. said in a recent charge to grand
jury: Twelve terms Of court have now held in
which women have served grand and petit
Jurors. and it il certainly fact beyond dispute
that no other twelve terms so salutsry for re-
siraint Of crime have ever been known in this
territory
Sarah Beruhsrdi il receiving for her perform
ancc Of ''Theodora'' $500 night but she lives
extravaZsntly, gives breakfasts 70 her friends,
dinners TO her critics sud Shippers to her theater
companions, nearly exhaasting her salary and
leaving next to nothing for her numerous cred
ifors
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-03-10
THE vIRKETS.

The stock market yesterday was dull most of
the day and developed 10 feature of special in
terest just at the right moment report from
Philadelphia was circulated that Vanderbilt had
taken all the Reading collateral trust bonds. to
the amount Of 100000 600. This report was
followed By considerable activity in Jersey Cen
trsl, which finally closed with gain of 2Bc.
OF the stocks Lackawanna was the most active
and St Paul was next to it, closing at 1873, an
advance Of q per cent, while Northwestern
was mp 4 per cent. at 9425. ali the reports
about foreign wars fail to keep up the price OF
wheat and it is declining in spite of all efforts
The Duluth market was dull and lower, while
Minneapolis and St. Paul were weak and dropped
back on a very small business.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-03-10
THE MORPHINE HABIT.
Foo1ino the You'd BE Suicide.

FOolf,,g the Would BE Suicide.
'tSpeaking about the proposed amendment
to the city charter which is calculated to close
the opium or 'hop joints of the city," said
druggist to reporter last night, 81 very
much doubt whether the results accomplished
will be as great as anticipated by the most
sanguine, provided that the amendment is
adopted and the police accomplish the closing
of the opium resorts. Because even If they
do succeed in shutting up these places OF
opium-smoking, the hop-iends will only re
sort to the practice of opium of morphine eat
ing, which. in my opinion, is just as injurious
as that of smoking"
''Do you have much call for morphine as a
habitual stimulant!'
Eyes, constantly; three or four times a
day receive call from regular visitors, who
must take their dose of morphine or feel that
terrible gnawing which comes from an insa-
tate appetite Who use the drug? For the
most part the fallen women, men generally
resort to smoking the opium. / suppose that
these women, some of whom are in the habit
of taking at one swallow doses which would
kill an ordinary person, resort to this means
of drowning the feelings of remorse Ind des-
pair. Yes, have great many calls for the
drug, and occasionally / have to refuse them.
For example, it quite often occurs that
woman comes here in an excited state of
mind and intending suicide. She asks for
25 cents worth of morphine. Although know
her to be confirmed morphine-eater, and
probably to stand an extra heavy dose OF the
drug. Inever fill her order as it is given to
me- ! hand her out 10 cents worth of NOR
phine; she rushes of, tries to commit suicide,
and of course fails. When she RECEIVERS from
her temporary gloom she is ready to thank
me-"
''No, it is all bosh about these stories of
bigh-toned society ladies using morphine. l
have pretty extensive acquaintance among
the morphine fends, and know of but one
woman of good standing in society who is
confirmedly addicted to the habit Of course
there are others that use the drug, but the
number, claim, is comparatively small. So
with the opium-smokers. These different
'ioints" throughout the city are largely pa
tronized, but only by men and women OF the
sporting class. AS for people in good society
who are confirmed hop-fends, the number is
extremely small" Omaha Bee.