Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1885-12-31
BErrx JANE mxRKrxs


with HeFs
Bosson Globe.
/ have put in long and exhausting
day In the court to-day in the case Of
Merkins We. Merlxins, suit for divorce
In which / am the counsel for the
plaintiff. Eliza Jane Merkins.
The case itself is peculiarly trying
one, and the plaintiff adds to its horrors
BY consulting me when want to do
something else. took her case al an
agreed price, and SO Mrs. Merkins is try
inn TO get her moneys worth by consult
ing me in way abhor. She has con-
suited me in every mood and tense that
that now of ut my Office, on the street,
in church, at the festive board, and at
different funerals 10 which we both
happened TO be called. Mrs. MerBins
has hung like pail over several Massa-
chusetts funerals TO which otherwise had
had every symptVm of sucecsH.
am great adinirer Of woman as q
woman, but as q client in a suit for
divorce she has her pecnliarities. have
seen Eliza in every phnse Of the case.
She has been calm and fearful, stormy
and snorting. low-spirited and fed-nosed,
violent and menacing, resigned but
sobby, trustful and confidential, high
I strung and naughty, crushed and weepy.
She makes speciality OF shedding the
red-hot scalding tear wherever she can
obtain permission TO do 30. She has wept
IN my wood box, in my spittoon, on my
desk and on my birthday. One time she
came and sobbed on my shoulder. Her
tears are of the warm, damp kind, and
feel disagreeable as they roll down the
neck Of comparative stranger, who
never can Fbe aught but a friend. She
rested her bonnet on my bosom while she
wept, and I then discovered that she had
been in the habit Of wearing this bonnet
while cooking her buclwheat pancakes
! presume she keeps her bonnet on all the
time so that she may be ready to dash
out and consult me at all times without
delay. Still she ought not to do it, fol
when she leans her head on the bosom Of
her counsel in order to consult him hi
detects the odor of the early sausage ant
the fieeting pancake
You may bust such bonnet and crush it l.
you Will,
But the scent OF the pancake will cling
round 1t still.
As soon as saw that her object was Il
lean up against me, and not only conVulst
05lHbI Win hODbt Dub tIitl hnG lubGuuCN
to jar me also with her great woe, tolG
her that would have to request her t.
avaunt then, as she did not act upoI
my suggestion, avaunted her myself.
avaunted her into chair with sicken
ing thud. She then took her departure
with rising reflection. On the follow
ing day, however, l found her at the
Office door, and she stood near and con
Aa,1 IL.
ashes and starte&a fire in the stove.
Her case is quite peculiar. She want
divorce from her husband on tn
grounds of cruelty to animals, or some
thing Of that kind, and when she frs
told me about it thought she had q case
but WI en- we came. TO trial Ifound tina
she had had every reason TO believe tina
II she could be segregated from Mr.
Merldns she could at once become tn
bride of gentleman who plowed tn,
raging main.
Just as we went to the jury to-day will
the case, she heard casually that tn
gentleman who had been in the mali
blowing business had just married with
out her knowledge or consent.
She was wild. She came up to con
suit me in the court room and made al
effort TO faint against me and stab me il
the pit of the stomach with her pancake
saturated bonnet, but evaded her an
she fell into the arms of IN attendant.
Luckily for her we had so introduce
our testimony that heverdict was agains
us, and she is still Mrs. Merkins, thong
she does not look happy. Neither doe
Mr.. Merkins. A little cloud about I'll
size of door mat seems to have crosse
their horizon.
would not again saturate my systei
with the sorrows of another, or hold m,
self in readiness for those who wished 1
come and weep on, for twice the income
now receive.
Woman's tears are good thing in the
place. They nre first-rate. But h
woman who delays business with her
structiye washouts and her devastatiI
cloudbursts is an enemy to our rae
With this remark, eject the cat, exit
guish the binding glare of the candl
and retire.