News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-06-18
TERMS $3.50.
WIT AND WISDOM.
LAM a king when I rule myself.

I AM king when rule myself.
FAME never made us lie down COL
tentedIy on death bed.
THE mother-in-law does not remember
that she was a daughter-in-law.
OB1cQuY is a necessary ingredient in
the composition of all true glory.
IT is knowing what he doesn't know
that makes the wise man wiser than his
fellow.
FoR the finding of our own intellec-
tual defects nothing is like trying to
teach another.
OLD minds are like old horses, you
must exercise them if you wish to keep
them in working order.
A POET propounds the conundrum
"What is warmer than woman's love ?"
Answer-A woman's temper.
"PApA, why do the little pigs get so
much milk pa because we want them
to make hogs of themselves"
IT was a Western market reporter
who put this into type: "Flour is still
high, but it isn't as deer as doe.
GEORGE KNIGHT, the actor, says a
man can paint the town red with $780,
900, for then he has quart of vermilion.
IT is said that lovesickness checks the
growth of young people. We don't
believe it. They increase in signs all
the time.
PRESIDENT CLEVELAND has saved the
greater part of his first months salary
SO, ,898. 81. No wife to 50 through his
vest pockets.
THE people who rent houses in New
York city have made no demand for
rents to come down. All thoy ask is for
the walls to stand up.
"THIs is my wife; she is very enter
tanning, and I am highly pleased with
her," is the way Natick man just mar.
ried introduces his wife.
A NEW HAMPSHIRE woman claims
that she has not broken plate or cup
for thirty years. Her husband must be
remarkably we'll behaved.
DID you ever notice how much more
you walk on the foot with the corn on il
than on the other one? You hardly
notice the other one at all.
THE temperature of the sun Is about
| $4,000 deg. Fahr. What a place il
must be for gauze underwear and sodt
water.-DansUjue IN. " Breeze.
lRREso1UTIoNs on the schemes of life
which offer themselves to our choice
and inconsistency in pursuing them
are the greatest causes Of all our un
happiness.
"GRANDPA, dear, we have come t.
wish you many happy returns OF you
birthday, and mamma says if you Civ
us each dollar, we are not to lose it o
our way home"
IT is passing strange how a man VIII
owes you thirty cents will have his a.
tention suddenly attracted to the cornic
of the tall block across the way whel
ever you chance to meet him on Il
street.
A CALIFORNIAN has raised pumpk
80 large that his twin children use eaC
a half section for a cradle. That
nuthin'. In this city four full-groW
policemen have been found asleep on
single beat.
SOMEBODY who has probably got tire
of paying gas bills asks: Chow woul
It be if all the world went to bed at sui
set ?" 1t would certainly effect gres
saving in gate hinges in the rural di'
tricts in the summer time.
"ARE your domestic relations agree
able p was the question put to an III
happy looking specimen OF humanity
ooh, my domestic relations are a
right" was the reply; sit is my wife
relations that are causing the trouble.
A PREooo1oUs little girl, 8 years old
was asked by her father if she would |
a school teacher when she grew o
enough. "No," she said; 'fI Will have
husband" and, after little refectio
!, added, II hope he will not be Gro
one."
!, "JoHN, did you go round and ask he
old Mrs. Jones was this morning, as
told you to do last night?' eyes, sir
"Wel!, what was the result ?" SIS
said that, seeing as how you had the il
pudence to ask how old she was, she
no objection to telling Won che was "A