Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-27

his liShtnings to cool and purify the air.
Wherefore he sent his chief ManitOu TO
humble men by robbing them ofwhat they
most valued, and hestowing upon them a
scourge and affection adequate TO their
o1ense The spirit Obeyed his master,
and, coming On earth, reached the ground
in the land of the kickapoOs. He looked
about him, and soon ascertained that the
red men valued their tails above every
other possession. Summ0uing together
all the Indians, he acquainted them with
the Will of the WQhcOndas, and demanded
the instant sacrifice of the cherished
member. 1t is impossible to describe the
sorrow and compunction which filed their
bosoms when they found that the forfeit
tor their oblivion of the Great Spirit was
to be that beautiful and beloved append
age. Tail after tail was laid upon the
block and amputated. The mission of the
spirit was, in part, performed. He now
took the several tails and converted them
into vain, noisy, chattering, risky w0-
men. Upon these objects the KickapOos
now lavish their admiration; they loaded
them now as before with beads, and wam-
pun, and paint, and decorated them with
tlnkling ornaments and cOlOred ribbons.
Yet the women had lost one essential
quality which as tails they had possessed.
The caudal appendage had brushed Off
man the worrying insects which sought
to sting or suck his blood, whereas the
new article was itself provided with a
sharp sting, called by us a tongue; and,
far from brushing annOyances off man, it
became an instrument for accommodating
them upon his back and shoulders. Pleas
ant and soothing TO the primeval Kicka-
poo was the wagging to and fro of the
member strOking and tanning his back,
but the new one became scourge to lac
crate. However,
WOMEN RETAINS INDICATIONS OF HER
ORIGIN.
She is still beloved as of yOre; she is still
beautiful, with flowing hair; still devoted
to trinketry. Still is she frisky, vivacious
and slappy; and still, as old. does she ever
follow man, dangling after him, hanging
on his heels, and never, of his own accord,
separating from him. The Kickapoos. di-
vested of their tails-the legend goes on
to relate-were tOrmented by the mosqui-
toes, till the Great Spirit, in compassion
for their woes, mercifully withdrew the
greater part of their insect tOrmentOrs.
OVerjoyed at their deliverance, the red man
duplicated the Wahconda also to remove
the other nuisances, the women; but he
replied that the women were necessary
evil and must remain. This is worse treat
ment than that which the ladies received
from HesiOd. The writer once knew a
young and romantic lady who was so en-
raptured with the ideal of American In
dian life, as delineated by Fennimore
Cooper, that she fled her home, and
went to the savages in Canada. We
hope she did not fall to the lot of a Kicka-
poo.
Lovely wOmanl charming woman! 1t
is pleasanter to believe that she is made
from our ribs, which we know come very
close to our hearts. and thus to account
for the mutual sympathy of man and wo-
man and thereby to account for that COM
passion and tenderness that man feels for
her, and also for the way in which she
flies to mans side as her true resting place
in peril and doubt. But we have cos
mOgony of our own, elucidated from in
ternal convictions, assisted by all modern
appliances of table rasping and clairvoy-
ancy. According to our cOsmOgOny wO-
man is compounded of three articles: SUI
gar, tincture of arnIca and soft soap. SUI
gar, because of the sweetness which is so
apparent in most w0men-alas that in
some it should be acidulated into strong
domestic vinegar; arnica, because in wo-
man is to be found that quality of healing
and soothing after the bruises and wounds
which atfiict US men in the great battle of
life; and soft soap, for reasons too obvious
to need specification.