The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-02-19

this land with rail of iron and have,
of recent years, become coldly reserved
and icily exclusive on the vital question
of free passes.
Not long erst, when the bloom was
on the golden rod and September notes
were beginning to fall due, journeyed
toward the land of the South and the
Prince likewise was with me. Now the
days of the years of the Prin ce's pill
grimage have been few and jolly, and
have not yet attained unto the days o.
the years of his fathers pilgrimage; but
they will, if he lives and keeps on
growing. He was born few months
longer than seven years ago, which was
such famous year for colts. But bis
complexion is fair and his stature linn
tied and his figure slight, insomuch
that he appeareth 10 he of five years OF
under. Now when got me upon the
train / bought no half ticket.
AS we journeyed TO the South land
the conductor approached woman
sitting in the seat IN front of me. She
had two little girls with her. Their
ages were apparently eight and ten
years. The younger was reading
book. They were large girls. Not tai
for their ages, but pretty massive foi
the free ride age. 1t was evident they
were half-fare candidates, on n faii
count. In answer TO the conductors
question, the mother, presenting hei
own ticket, said that her girls were
each under six years young. The man
with the punch said they were very
large for their ages, and the woman
said that size had nothing to do with it
If they were tail as giants and under
six years they were entitled TO ride free.
and she hoped she knew the ages OF hei
own children. And the peculiarly rec
signal emphasis she placed on he
double hopes made the conductor
SILVER. He waved his punch with an
apologize gesture. and to his great
pleasure, seeking some relief from his
embarrassment, he saw me. ALL now
he could quarrel with a man. He
could fire me of if | refused TO pay hah
fare for my boy.
How old is that child!'' he demand.
ed in pay or walk accent
Dear me, | said what question
to ask a father. How old is your young
est chilG?n
/ knew he couldn't tell without think.
inc il over for five minutes, and so
,sained time. He had the look OF an ole
married man with bic family, SO wher
l saw his face begin to clear up, arc
knew ne was coming at me again, free
at him. with:
Glow many children have ycuP"
That threw him once more, and saw
him furtively count up To seven on his
fingers; but | was p little slow GETTING
into battery for the next shot, and before
/ could ask him their names he charged
right into my lines
Never mind about my Children" he
said. Il want to know how old that
boy isl
said: Conductor, sit down. l can
toll you, and YOU know why If | tel
YOU he is only three there viii be 6
dreadful lie on my conscience, and ]
won't get my hair shirt off for week
If / tell YOU the truth and say that he j;
seven and half that woman with the
two big five year-old girls will consider
; il direct insult You have accepted
her statement; now, you couldn't have
the broad and massive brow to charge
: my boy half fare, though l swore he
were forty One liar on q train is
enough. Do not press your question
and get ME into trouble. must either
scar my conscience with a false state
ment, or get into q row with the man.
ma of yonder eighteen years of girls.
He saw the embarrassing position
into which he was forcing both of US,
and with gentlemanly consideration left
me.
Now, you see the trouble is all here
In adopting "a rule for dead-head and
/ half fare children the railway companies
have acted foolishly and adopted Il
most absurd standard. That of age.
What does a young unmarried conductor
know about the ages of children? What
conductor old or young, can dispute
the statement of mother? What has
age to do with it. anyhow? Is that
standard adopted with any class of pas
sengers save human beings? Does it
cost any more to transport ten year
old horse than five year old colt?
The standard should be either size or
weight. Then tho conductors task
would be an easy one. Make the rule
that all children over three feet in height
or weighing more than forty pounds
should pay half fare. In every car u
Fairbanks scale, in every punch tape
measure. 'How tall is your little girl,
MADAME" ''Just two feet eleven and
three-quarter inches. sir. ''Stand up,
little dear. Out comes the tape
measure and little dear, STOPPING as her
mother bids her in vigorous. matronly
psntomime, stands up TO four feet two
inches Of tape line. what does tho
little boy weigh?' ''Thirty-nine pounds
ten and iive-cighth ounces. "IIop on
10 these scales, my son. All. that's Just
it; seyenty-threc pounds nine ounces.
Seven dollars and hall, madam
| trust the railroads can see the wis
dom of this suggestion. / don't sup
pose will save Il cent by it. In fact, l
can dodge the half fare moro easily
now under the present absurd rule,
which really is nothing but premium
offered on lying. The man who tells
the truth is compelled by the company
TO pay half fare for his children. while
the man who lies about Il Iss his chill
I