Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-29
BRIGHT BITS.

"FEw MEN have honest convictions" says
some one. This does not trouble us as much
as the fact that so many men have dishonest
acquittals. PUCK.
IT is seen that Mr.. Cleveland has made
breaches in the Democratic party. There is
no doubt, however, as 10 who wears them. -
PtttsbuT0 ChrOnieLe.
KISSED BY OLD SOL 49,
The pretty girls who went away
With cheeks az red as cherriess
We notice coming back to-day
With faces brown as berries.
THE FAT MAN REJoIcEs.-
The months roll on, he torrid heat
OF summers almost over;
The nights are growing cool again,
The fat man feels in clover.
TIE use of tobacco is said to make man
forgetful. This is particularly true in the
case OF the chew: he bOrrOws and never re-
members to return to say nothing Of remem-
herring to buy plug for MS own use.-BOston
Times.
ONE reason why western hotels are so OPP
posed TO fre-escapes is because they are used
by dead beats who want take aquiet leave.
IL Is better that 100 innocent people be roasted
alive than for one dead beat TO get away oW-
ing $2.-DstroW Free Press.
"NExT to a pretty woman" says the Rev
Sam Jones, 81 love fast horse" He has only
to make a trinity of the objects Of his affec-
ton by including D sample Of the best at loe.
q z ass 20 make his theology az popular in
Kentncky ~ Brother iWattgrs5n's iii starred
goddess 81 reform. Lon sffR Il Work.
A MAN never ka asys w6atit Il to be struck
with lightning and happiness at the same
time until he has hsds pretty girl as his part
ner at whist and she has leaned over the Ia
Bile and VITA adelirIous love lightin her eve,
whispered loud enough TO be heard al over
tho room. HSay, dear Mr.. Smith, l haven't
got siagie trpppi Do tell me what to play"
-Fdlt-R iger Herdtd.
a.. !, r.-a,s,..- 1870. W., houo
been established IN business long time, un-
derstand. Mr.. Shorrweight?
Mr.. Shortweight with pride. )--Yes, sir; l
have sold groceries on this corner for twenty
Customer Gifting the cover OF the cheese
box and quickly dropping lt,)-Not longer
than that.-Eele YORK Sun.
A RUSSIAN FRIEND OF mine who was in fire.
quent attendance on the Emperor Nicholas
told me that this savage monarch was so thor
oughly imbued with the idea of personal pow
or that in speaking of Russia he used to say:
my climate, mg snow, mY thunder storm OF
last autumn" One morning as he was look
ing out Of the window he said: Ny cl0ltds
hang very low this morning." - AureIien
ScAOU.
"ID LIKE, you know--Td like to draw Sl0,'
she said, as she pushed her book into the
savings bank window. Certainly NV OUld
il that is ION! 1t won't bust the bank"
sand the cashier. "Then PILL guess ill
draw it," He picked up the book and was
quite absorbed for two or three minutes. He
finally handed it back with SMILE and she
uttered a little scream as she received it. 1t
was = pocket diary, aud he had opened it at
"July l3. Fred called as usual this evening"
but went away without proposing. | must
give him a hint" lyon made Il mistake"
suggested the cashier. "Yes-ah-yon know ~
she hammered, and clutching the book she
made a rush for the door and never came
back.-DetrOit Free Press.
"sOthis Is the vessel you have been bragg
ging so much abOutP"
Yes, sir; there she lies. Beauty, amt
sheg'
"Beautyl You don't call that unwieldy
looking tub yacht, do your"
"Certainly she's a yacht. She wa'ant a
yacht yesterday, | admit, but she's yacht
now"
"HOw can she be yacht to-day if she was
not yacht yesterday"
"Wel you see, had her washed out. and
I've filled up her cabin with liquors and
cigars, put seven cases of lager and a barrel
of beer in the fo'ks'l. and il that don't make
her yacht then don't know what q yacht
il. IL amt the build OF q vessel that makes
her yacht; us the liquors, and the cigars,
and the beer, and the ham sandwiches, and
the folks that's on board on her that makes
her yacht. Put a crowd on board on her
that can get tight and play Billy an all afore
they get out OF the harbor. an she'll be such
yacht rs no true gentleman need be ashamed
Of.-B0St0n Courier.