The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-01-15
THE LITTLE NAPOLEON.
Dom PiAtt Tells a Bit of Unwritten
History.
he Says Ese Abhors ana Doapfses
Old Battle Fields And Hates
Canned Fruit from the Tree
OF knowledge.


eorieal II ths last instance one looks on
Wids plains, with occasional depressions or
gullies and groups OF trees, and while one
gaEes with the intensity Of expression pecu-
liar 70 q salt nackerei, q featherless parrot
eR guide on one side bores one with story
made up OF lies and stupidity, while hungry.
looking creatures bore on the other with
rusty specimens Of iron mongery, said to bs
relics, bus really. manufactured, to sell, at
the nearest forge. I therefore abhor and
despise old battle delds, and once hastened
through Brussels after night lest soma mis-
tsgotteu son OF man should force me out 60
Waterloo.
made an exception, however. OF Crave
lotto when later In Europe. A particular adj
niration of mine came TO grief on this
Ed, and in honor OF the event I travelled
atty miles out OF my way to take of my hat
and thank God. At this place Prussian
bayonstCed French mumbO- jumbo, and as
the bran ran out, one OF the most ag3ravat-
Ing frauds disappeared from public view. I
RSfer 20 Louis Napoleon, q French gentle
man. OF Dutch extraction, whom tnirty
years since pronounced fool. and, there.
fore, felt complimented in having my better
Judgment approved at GraveIotts.
Louis Napoleon had but one distinctive
mark OF tbs Bonaparts family. and that
was In his vicious imbecili5y. saw him for
tsls RrSt time shortly alter he had been pro-
claimed emperor, and 1 was amazed. He
appeared before me. short of stature, but so
was his unc.e, the great Napoleon; but in
stead of the heavy. rounded shoulders and
CRsarian head. he was narrow in the chest.
broad across the hips, had a ing body and
short lsy while his contracted, retreating
Jaw was surmounted by fat nose and eyes
that wsre tbs dssdest things / ever looked
intO.
The BOnaparte family are strongly marked
physically. The son and grandson. born in
Baltimore, were wont to startls the people Of
Paris by their striking resemblance in form
and face to the great Napoleon.
o. this Louis Napoleon had no trace what
ever. He was = stupid looking Dutchman,
and did not belle his looks
was .aughe aG for asserting this some
thirty years ago. There Is nothing so sue.
cessful as success, as the late Pr ident Car
aeld was fond of quoting and lived to illus
trata. 1t was sarcasm on the lips f the
French Bohemian who originally uttered it,
bu5 has come TO be an axiom with us, who
live on canned fruit from the tree of kuowl-
edge
Louis Napoleon's rise was the result of
mere chance offered an idiot It takes 3
thoughtIess man to accept, or rather seize on
an unexpected op ming. It is the unexpected
chat happens, again quoth Garfield, and the
thoughtful man hesitates discUuntir- the
futzTs. until the chance disappears, "Fools
rush in where angels fear TO tread. and, in
SONS instances, triumphantly. Had Louis
Napoleon possessed more sense he would
have en- less successful
The scheme of governm~ Mt offered him
was thu most idiotic ever concoctsd by fools
AMI knaves. There Is no lie so ridiculous,
and yet 50 popular as that which tells US
that history repeats itself. While men re-
main III. same. through all ages. the variety
OF lifs.is infinite As we clear away the old
forest, a ssconi growth starts up, and, to
the common eve, it is the same wood Those
who look dssrer see the hickory, and cedar
where the oak, and ash, and waIaut once
stood So is IL with humanity. The form
may DO there. but the substance has van
ishei.
When Napoleon. the little, was bidIen fol-
lew the footsteps of his uncle the Napc comic
% C@sarian superstition of one man being
8scsssary to people. a sort of Gods anointed
10 govern by grace. had vanished from
France. After the great Napoleon had con.
queTed Europe he hid his little person under
gorgeous robes, while clapping on his re-
markabls head bauble In shapeof crown,
and all men fell before him, bumpi theiI
hsAds on the door in his presence forthe roar
ct his victorious artillery was yet ia theil
ears
Napoleon. Ie petit, let the robes and crown
severely alone, for he began where the uncle
had ceased. with no superstition to sanction
and no military prestige to back his preten
aions. Fool as he was. he yet knew that al
France would break into roars of laughte,
ct his play Of ringmaster in the gaVb of 6
aown.
The uncle had said that the empire wa
war. The nephew was forced to proclaim
chat the empire was peace So long as h
abided by this he was safe-sll the more so
because his feeble minded condition mad,
His empire standing menace to all Eu
rope.
The times had changed. The intellect O
France had at last discovered that military
genius, as it had been called was only al
animal instinct Of low order, and the fel
lows who bedizen themselves with tinsel {
follow the brutal trade of killing ha tn
brain, as well as the feathers, of chickel
SOCkS OOO duO1ut<0 Ad0 Detu Te4cssdte'
20 things which amuse. Hereditary govern
Ene~t had stood everything but ridicuIe, bu
when tbs people began to laugh. the poo
devil Of q king, or emperor, got into a hole
Louis Philippe was the last, and he wen
about with his pumpkin-shaped head. and
cotton umbrella under his arm. calling hin
naIf cItix king.
France got ennuied of the little Napoleon
pay at being emperor. 1t was sick of b
solemn ways, his gorgeous court; and, abov
all, it was sick of the. plundering that wen
ca making millionaires out Of smallbraine
rogues. ] never knew a millionaire VIII
made bis money who was not of that sor
b when the German war broke out, Franc
was content to ses the little emperor 6
under.
This war. provoked by France, was relil
tcun IN It's origin. Bismarck found his pr
set Of German unity antagouized by Il
church. The German statesman did not su
nit patiently to this and made himself e.
tremely disagreeable to Rome. The Cath
Mcs OF Europe believed that It would be