davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
OLD AGE.
Some Thoughts Concerning the Possibility
and Probability of Centenarians.

Some Thoughts Concerning the Possibility
and Probability of Centenarians.
Leaving out of consideration the old
famous species of longevity and all
doubtful modern instances of men and
women living to be hundred years
old or more, there remain enough OF
centenarians the date of whose birth is
recorded, and the fact of whose living
a century or more is beyond dispute
Indeed, such cases seem to be growing
more and more common, and attract
no great attention. Yet there are
few spectacles more profoundly inter-
esting than that of life protracted be-
yond the ordinary limit of old age. To
have survived all or almost all of ones
generation, is itself proof of some
sort of superiority of tissue or habit
environment. 1t is to have held
held out longest in the hopeless fight of
all things living against death, and per-
haps to have shown that most men die
before their time.
Let men affect what pretence of pes
simism and disgust with life, they will,
they can not help loving life and cling
ing to it. Religious enthusiasm may
regard it as but passage the sooner
crossed the better to higher form of
existence; and inability to perform its
duties or incapacity for its enjoyments
may lead unfortunate natures to throw
1t blindly away; but to men of thor
oughly sane organization and
nvonlxy =,
something to be loved for itself,
and all means and instances of its pro-
longation are worthy to be studied
Men whom life disgusts or bores are
deprived of the faculty of judging it
properly. Life is not for them, but for
those who know how to use it; and to
those who know, and are so fortunate
in mind and circumstance as to expand
and not contract their sympathies, it
must be as desirable, as interesting, as
well worth living at eighty or ninety as
at twenty-five. Nor need the strength
OF even fvescore years be labor and
SORROW If the faculties be. as sometimes
they are, unimpaircd
1t is sometimes said that the men
who really live wear out early. and
that people live to be old by creeping
sluggishly along, burning life's candle
to the socket by niggardly husbandry
of its light. But aside from the fact
that the names of some of the greatest
thinkers and scholars of the past are to
be found in the lists of the octogenari-
ans and nonagenarians, is it not true
that it is this intellectual sluggishness.
this want of fexibility to meet the
changing conditions which the change
Of years brings. this want of interest in
contemporary life. that prevents many
men from attaining to fortunate old
age? So long as man keeps his fac
ulties employed and interested, 50 long
as he is alert to all the movements Of
the world about him, so long he
remains young. and so much the
greater are his chances OF coming
te what y called old age, That torpid
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
LOVES CRUCIAL IEsI.

An Angel Until She Began Fooling Around
the Flour Barrel.
''Oh. Herbert, dear. you do not love
me! know it, and the thought will
kill me''
''But Madge-"
''Why didn't die before found it
out? Oh, why didn't die two months
ago--yes, before we were married."
but, Madgie, dear
! Don't say that, Herbie, for you
don't mean it; l know you don't. Oh!
oh! boo-hoo!''
won't you hear me. Madge? Il"
''Oh. Herbert! Boo-hoo!"
''Madgie-'
"Boo-hoo!"
precious. what is the matter?"
''You don't love me any more, Her.
bic! Oh, 1 know you don'tr'
'Yes. I do, darling; better than
ever"
mo you don't, Herbie; no, you
don't"
"Yes. do, sweet; honor bright l
doll. ,- .ts7...- -.
vrA ''NO-nO; no-7no!" ar
-'.What put that silly notion into your
head, little girl?''
Il can tell Herbie! I've noticed
you, and l see that you don't love me
one bit any more! Oh! oh! Boo
hOOr'
"What does this mean, darlingp
What have Idone, and what have you
seen that troubles you SO? Tell me, at
once, or III go distracted, too
''Oh, Herbie! I've watched you-boo-
hoor'
"Watched me! Good heavens!
Madgie! What does this meanP What
are you saying? Speak at once this
suspense is torture!''
.'Oh. Herbie! You-you-you--'' -
'.What is it. Madgie? In heaven s
name, speak, before lose my senses.
Out with it! What have / done?n
''Oh. Herbie! You don't - you
don't
'.Don't what. darling? For the sake
of all that's precious, tell me without
losing another minute
''You don't eat my bread any more,
Herbie! I've watched- you. and you
haven't even tasted it for two whole
DAYS; and worked so hard to make it,
toor'
Heavens, child! Do you want me
to commit suic:de?"
''No-no, Herbie; but if you loved
me. know you'd eat my bread
'.Love you, Madgie! l love you as
the growing plant does the sunlight
as water does its level-but life is sweet
to me, dearest. and / havn't the cour-
age to take such awful chances. Yes,
darling, l love you with fervor that is
frantic; with passion that is MADNESS
without you; but l can't 60 your bread.
my dear, and chance the consequences.
Let us put it where the neighbors' eats
can find it. and patronize the baker
from this time on, and we can be ever
SO happy! You're an angel, Madgie,
tillyou get to fooling around flour bar
rel. Don't do it any more. darling,
and you'll always be cherub.'
''But can't throw it away, Herbie
It's the first ever made, and l havn',
the heart to do it. 1 know you don't
love me, or you'd eat it on that accoun,
boo, hoo!"
..Weu, there, sis-don't boo-hoo any
more. and I'll eat it if it kills me; and
feel dead sure it will. But if l out
live this loaf, please don't try it again
if you love me. y Chicago Ledger.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
C0uNTERFEITERS BEWARE.
A Michigan Concern EnjoIned.
IFrom the Rochester Morning Herald.]

From the Rochester Morning Herald.]
The following injunction has been OBJ
tanned by the Hop Bitters Company, of
Rochester, n. Y, against Collatinus D.
Warner, Of Reading, Michigan, prohibiting
him from manufacturing or selling "Ger-
man Hop Bitters."
The President of the United States of America
to Coltdtinus d. Farmer, Of Reading, Mich,
his servants, acorknae1,, sdlesmen and agents,
and each and erery of them:
Whereas, it has been represented unto
the Justices Of our Circuit Court, the Hon.
Stanley Matthews, and the Hon. Henry B.
Brown, at Detroit, within and for said
District, sitting as Court of Chancery,
that you, COllatinuS ID. Warner are manufact-
uring and selling medicine named German
Hop Bitters. in fraudulent imitation of the Hop
Bitters made and sold by complainant; your
said medicine being devised, calculated and in
tended to mtsledd the public into purchasing
such counterfeit goods as the manufacture of
the complainant
We therefore, in consideration of the prenl-
ises, do strictly enjoffl you, the said Co!latinus
ID. Warner, and all and every the persons be-
fore named, from using the UOris Hop Bitte7s''
on any fluids contained in bottles so as to in
duce the belief that such fluids are made by
complainant; and further, from manufactuf-
ing. selling or offering for sale any bitters or
other fluids in the bottles and with the labels,
and in the general form in which you were
manufacturing and selling the bitters called
by you German Hop Bitters, on the filing OF
the bill; or in any other bottles, or with any
other labels contrived Or designed to repre-
sent or induce the belief that the bitters or
fluids sold by you are the goods of The com.
plainant, until the further order Of the
Court. ~
Witness,
THE HONORABLE MORRISON r. WAITE
. Chief Justice of the United States
At Detroit, this fifteenth day of July, A. D. 1885
u. 81 Walter S. Harsha, Clerk.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

The Saturday Reoiew, commenting
upon the effort of writer to prove,
from Shakespeare works, that he
was lawyer, makes the point that
similar processes of reasoning would
prove him to have been a bishop, a
privy councillor a traveller, q soldier,
an apothecary, a painter. a forester.
an artificer and husbandman, Is well
a. Z lawyer.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
"Fools Rush In, Where Angels Fear to
Cread.n

So impetuous youth is often given to
folly and indiscretions; and, as a result,
nervous, mental and organic debility fol-
low, memory is impaired, self confidence
is lacking; at night bad dreams occur,
premature old age seems setting in, ruin is
in the track. In confidence, you can, and
should write to DR.. r. v. Pierce, of Buffalo,
N. Y, the author of a treatise for the bene-
fit of that class of patients, and describe
your symptoms and sufferings. He can
cure you at your home, and will send you
full particulars by mail.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

THE VoLTAIC BELT Co., of Marshall, Mich,
offer to send their celebrated ELECTRO-V OF
rAIC BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES
on trial for 80 days, to men tyoung or old)
afflicted with nervous debility, loss of vital
ity and all kindred troubles. Also forrheu-
matism, neuralgia, paralysis, and many 9th
or diseases. Complete restoration to health,
vigor, and manhood guaranteed. No risk in
Cured, as 80 days. trial is allowed. Write
them at once for illustrated pamphlet, free.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
els THERE no balm in Gilead?
Is there no phySician there?"

Thanks to DR.. Pierce, there is a balm in
his "Golden Medical Discovery"-a "balm
for every wound" to health, from colds,
coughs, consumption, bronchitis, and all
chronic, blood, lung and liver affections.
Of druggists.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

BEST French Brandy, Smart Weed, Ja-
maica Ginger and Camphor Water, as
combined in DR.. Pierce's Extract of Smart
Weed, is the best remedy for collie, dar-
rh9a, cholera morbus, dysentery or
bloody -flux; also, to break up colds fevers
and infiammatory attacks if used early.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
Prosecute the s,ci,.d1ers ~,

IL when you call for Hop Bitters the druggist hands
out anything but Hop Btters" with green cluster
would viper; and If he has taken your money for q
5ogus stun ndiet him for the fraud and him for
literally for the conviction 'o
see Y & Court Injunction against c. D. Warner
Readlng, Mich. and all his statesmen and agents
Druggists, and other imitators take warning
HOP BITTERS MFG CO
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

PIXIES STOOTHACHE DROPS cure in mfnute,25c
Glenn's Sulphur Soap heals and beautifes 2oc
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Corns BunIons.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

A SCHOOL journal advises: "Make the
school interesting" That's what the
small boy tries to do to the best of his abil-
ty.-Burlingt0n Free Press.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

AN inferior article is dear at any price.
Remember this, ,and buy Frazer Axle Grease.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
Young Men, Read This

"BEwARE of imita tions," as the monkey
said TO the dude.-Burlington Free Press.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

IF afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25c.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

EXPERIENCE is the cream of life-but
it often sours with age Whitehall Times
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

tTHERE she blows" the old whaler re-
marked when his wife commenced to give
him a curtain lecture.-Palnaer (Mass. J
Journal.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

A HALF holiday is better than no Loaf
". Y. Journal.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

SPEAKING of butter-the poor ye have
always with you.-ETchGnge.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05

WHEN WRITING TO AD' -,ort 10
please say you saw the adver .a know
this paper. Advertisers iiho ants are
when and where their advertis'
paying best.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
ECZEM MA!

Ny wife has been sorely afflicted VIII avfry Known
Salt Rheum from infancy. We tried setniieied with
remedy, but to avail. She was aqnes az followed
by an intermittent fever that her ~ lI iry S. S S:
burden to her. Finally determine After the third
bottle the Inflammation disappeared d snd finally she
dried up and turned white and sGa le Fe powder re-
brushed them of In an impalpaDle ne sixth bot
tle every appearance Of the disease g0nSS headaches
flesh is soft and white child s. is Good health
she has known in 40 years. No wonaern times 10
every bottle Of S. S. S. is worth t4oq qRsPehDLEY
weight in gold. JOHN ~ pS.-risvtold St.
Detroit, Mich, May 16, 1885. 4 "4i
For sale by all druggists: r,,, epr-rEIC CO.
NY. 157 W. 23dSt. Drawer D. A'iA"'''
Huntsville gazette., 1885-09-05
A Clear Skin

is only a part Of beauty;
but it is a part. Everyla lady
may have it; at least, what
looks like it. Magnolia
Balm both freshens and
beauties.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-11-07
JAY GOuld'e First Drink.

It is more than a quarter of a century
since Jay Gould tasted whisky, if the
Albany Evening Journal is right and the
first drink was the last. In the days
when he was a surveyor in small way,
and was mapping county, on the prac-
teal plan of getting lodgings and meals
of the farmers in exchange for making
correct sun dials on their doorsteps, he
became tired one hot, dusty afternoon.
He came to a country tavern. In his
pocket was five cent piece. 1t sudden
ly struck him that, as q medicine to re-
lieve faintness, he ought to buy a glass
of whisky with the half dime. Il was
ignorant of bar usage" he is quoted as
saying, "and so, when g. ass aud bot
tie were set before me, / filled the tum-
bier chock-full. The bartender made 10
protest, and l swallowed the big horn.
Then l went my way, trumbling my
wheelbarrow-like measurer of distances,
and occasionally taking the bearings
with sextant. Never in my life had
my work gone off half so blithesomely,
and for a while l felt as though making
a map of the starry heavens instead of
very dusty portion of this mundane
sphere. After an hour or more bf exal-
tation I grew sleepy and took q long
nap under tree in field. I awoke
with an awful headache, end found that
the figures entered in my notebook dur
ing the time of extra steam were quite
lncoherent. was fully convinced that
whisky was bad surveyor, and have
never tried it for any other purpose"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-11-07
An Indiana Woman Aged 11S.

Camden (lnd.) ExpOs1tor.
On Monday of last week two residents
o. Camden, DR.. Camp and Mr.. Samuel
Thompson, made a pilgrimage to Russia
vile for the purpose of seeing what is
said to be the oldest resident of Indiana
Mrs. Golfer, whose maiden name was
Perry, said to be sister Of Commodore
Perry, of revolutionary renOwn. This
old lady was born in the state of Della
ware. in April, 1869, making her present
age ll5 years. She retains all her facul-
ties except hearing, which is impaired
to some extent. Her father ~as in the
continental army, and became on init
mate terms with Gen. Washington, who
visited their family after the war, and
with whom she remembers conversing
on such occasions. Think OF lady
living now Who came On the stage OF &C.
ton in the time of George Ill, aud has
lived under every president since the
origin of government. From what our
informants gathered from her, her ca
reer has been no exception to the old,
old story, of a life struggle with fortune,
she being compelled in early life to per-
form all kinds Of out door labor. Her
son, with whom she lives, and who is
himself 80 years of age, told of having
reaped wheat by her side many days.
She is said to be the oldest Methodist
living, having united with that church
seventy-fve years since, and she is still
a member in good standing.
right leg was caught and crushed com
pletely off below the knee, two wheels
passing over it.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-11-07
WONDERFUL TlMEPIECE.
A Bradford County Youths Five Year

A Bradford County Youths Five Years
Achievement.
In Woodbury., Bedford county, Pa, re
sides young man noted for his mecban.
ical skill, who is working at wonderful
clock, which, when completed, will
eclipse anything ever produced in the
clock line, not even excepting the ia
nous Strasburg clock. He has been
working on this clock over five years
and expects to complete it next spring
When finished this immense timepiece
will be twelve feet vide and three and q
half feet deep, built entirely of walnut
wood. 1t is artistically designed and
displays in its composition grandeur OF
proportion, with its graceful moldinge
and delicately carved ornaments. On
the lower front of the face is circle OF
eleven dials, with large dial in the CEN
ter giving the time at Washington, D. c.,
in hours, minutes and seconds, the
month, the week, the day of the week,
the four seasons of the year and the
changes of the moon. The eleven re-
naming dials give the difference of time
in New York, Chicago, San Fsancisco,
London, Pekin, Constantinople, Mel
bourne, Vienna, Cairo and st. Peters
burg. One of the most curious features
fthe clock is the following: At q GER
tain hour of the day figure represent
ing William H. Vanderbilt, the great
railroad king, arises from his chair,
holding a charter in his right hand, and
in turn all the great railroad kings Of
this country slowly enter door at his
LETT, pass and bow to him and disappear
in submissive way at q door to his
right.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-11-07

darned nonsense in it-eome book that's
been runnin' ever since I've been in the
business and DO tellin' how long aforr?s
How about the mem"
you've got to study them inst az
hard. Them dudish fellers is tine worst
customers. They never buys no books,
They'll just set and SUCK their canes all
day. thinkin' about mashin' or some such
rot, l suppose. A man wot's fall of bust.
ness and looks worried don't often buy
books. He can't keep his thoughts on
'em. Young men that ain't dudes and
amt got no more money than they
kad what 10 do with make the best
customers. And old men wot's takin'
life easy en- contented like and aiL't
evellastingly bcthering themselves about
money, buy a good many books on the
;rains. \ railroad train is a mighty
.ood p'sce to study human nature IT,
What's your favorite readin,?'
:! like to read how poor boys got en-
in the word till they got to be real big
bugs like the fellow Ellison wot used to
sell books On train same rs do"
Let me lave that book Of FarTaI's
sermon s, and don't take me for 4 sport
again"
You can Get Eon't."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-11-07
YOUTH.

Oh. strange inconss quence Of youth,
When days W. re lived from hsnd TO mouth,
And iboug ht ian round an Empty rirg
In foolish, sweet imagining.
We handled love in childish fashion,
The name alone and not the passion
The world and life were things so small,
Our little wit encoET assed all.
We took our being as our faith
For granted, drew our easv breath
And RAJ ly stayed TO wonder why
We were set here TO live and die.
Vague dreams we had, a grsuder Fate
Our lives would mould and dominate,
Till we should stand some fnr-cff day
More godlike than our nortai clay.
Strong Fate, we meet thee but 10 find
soul and all that lies behind,
We lose Youths Paradise and gain
world Of duty and Ct pa.nS
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-11-07
ADIsCRIhINATING TRAIN BOY.
Ply siognomy Applied to Railroad Psssen
gers-Msle and Female Taetes.

PLY siognOmy Applied to Railroad Passen.
gers-Msle and Female Taetes.
New York Tribune.
"What made you think I'd want to
purchase that book" asked Tribune
reporter on the West Shore road of 8
train boy who had just deposited in his
lap volume giving complete history
OF all the notable encounters in the prize
ring within the last 100 years. The re.
porter in question, be it observed. al.
though of unfortunately somewhat pug.
nacious aspect, takes especial delight in
reporting sermons, and is as ignorant OF
the Marquis of Queensberry rules as OF
the diferential and integral calculus.
II thought you was a sport" replied
the train boy, taking rapid inventory
of bis interlocutor. He was q shrewd
looking lad with piercing eyes and q
nose which is generally supposed to IN
dictate that its owner knows thing or
two.
"Then do you always try to select
books to suit the character of each pas
senger?"
'Of course I does. l hits it right. GEN.
orally too, though I sonnet mes get left.
But faint half as bad to mistake 3 relig-
lous man for sport as to mistake q sport
for religious man. The sport'n get
madder'n a wet hen every time and
sling all the cuss words he knows ct YOU
that is, ifhe's in the smokin car"
ado you find much variety of taste
among the ladies on the trains?"
Cert. When see a woman who
wants to be thought fine lady but amt,
l drops her some novel about iukes and
and bloated aristrocrats, where all the
men has plenty of stamps aud the wo-
men folks lots Of fewelry. When I
strikes q lady what's the genooine thing
I fcpsher down . book that amt got no
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1885-11-07
A W ri co BOYS.
Chicago Inter Ocean.

Chicago Inter Ocean.
Parents may we'll afford to give time
and attention not only to the proper in
struction of their children, but to their
amusement at home. Many a boy and
girl would have been saved from evil as
sociates and resulting miseries if home
had qeen made as attractive as it should
have been. Children and young people
must have amusement, and fathers and
mothers are wise when they See that
they have this at home, and that they
are encouraged to invite the besto their
associates at proper times to assist in the
merry making.
One great trouble with parents is that
they get old too soon and forget that
they ever were young. Just at the OPEN
ing of the season of long evenings, see
that you add to your own and your
young peoples happiness by arranging
for games and good times just a. care
fully as you arrange for cords of dry
wood, bushels Of potatoes, and barrels o.
four.
It ID related of q great English scholar
noted for his dignity in public that at
home he enjoyed regular romp With
his children. Upon one occasion, when
the fun was boisterous and at its height.
it was obs erved that an eminent slater
man was approaching, when he re-
marked to the children, I'VE must stop
this, there is q fool coming" Apropot
to this Chicago gentleman relates thas
last winter he had occasion to visit Gov
erncr Dick Oglesbv at his home and
found him laid out fat on the floor and
troop of children playing leap frog and
rolling over him. Such men can always
be trusted.