New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-09-06
TIE Tux or TIE Day.

with heavy heart he takes his books
And snaillike creeps TO school,
The captain OF the "Champlons'" club
Has fallen from his high estate
And-just like any other bulb
boston Courier.
One OF the lies OF the amusement season is
that the French actress is the richest the
stage Nobody will go the trouble of proving that
isn't so.
Dlo Lewis has been heard of again, after lapse
not believe in shoulder braces the effect OF TINS decara
ton the country just at this time cannot but DO very
Observation-Disclosures Free Press.
When Massachusetts postmaster gets letter adj
dressed to somebody PAM he ut chucks 1t into
the mail bag for Cape Ann
small college at Des Moines Is likely to have
professor of Greek. Miss Leona Call, who has
most acceptably filed her brothers place during his
absence because OF sickness likely to be Indefinitely
prOlonged.-lWaterbu American.
An outdoor Carnival OF Literature" recently
held in one of the Southern Those who attended
were expected to dressed to represent some
standard book department OF literature During the
evening tramp shuied into the gayly dressed assem-
bage, and when attempt made to hustle him out
he vigorously resisted declaring that he represented
"summer Idle" He was allowed to stay and I'LL up Oh
melons and juice.
Ofcourse on such bright morning she couldn't re.
sis calling around 20 how many Of her friends had
returned from vacation.
returned Z"
"Yees. I-T-that is. haven't been away"
" But you have beautiful tan on your complexion.
"Qh Yes That cost mo 70 cents, while a Eaea..IPph
it was cooi enough to put the cloaks on Immediately.
-lIIartford Post
Jury duty one OF the most effective services that
the private citizen render the state-lLoulsyie
Commercial. Some private citizens OF this city hang
around the courts and make living by their effective
services" in that way The jury-fixer knows them
Tho masher soon will home return
From mountain and from shore;
And to his friends he VIII relate
His cOnquests by the score
Aud he Will call on some OF them,
II seasoned he is not,
And then, To his surprise. VIII find
boston Gazette.
The other day at dinner Professor Henry, OF Harvard
College. was scanning line OF NirgIs heNameter 10
illustrate the meter to rich business friend VINO had not
read the classics.
the Professor written in the same hexameter.
Now the first line OF Virgil Is scanned Ike this; Arma-
why. declare" he said fesItatng, I've forgotten
shall give them to your asked the waiter politely.
Your asked the professor IN astonlsnment: ,.n,o
" Yes, sir SAID tue black man lhey are' ARM"
Great guns" exclaimed the business millionaire.
Where dd you learn Litlnr
" At college, sir" said the waiter
when the rich found out all the poor Negroes re-
aulrements and ambition and poverty. he asked him how
much il cost him year at Harvard University
n costs $50 year and years to 60.
"WelL here" ne said is S5OO-yOu can keep the
change AMI when you get through come and
Nathaniel Ruggles. IN Dodge City, Kan" -lEi
Perkins IN Boston Record.
"Tonsoral rnrlor ana capillary studio, Is what The
AUBURN Advertiser calls a new barber shop in that town
There's man." said Smith TO Jones' directing atten-
ton % person passing down the street, there's man
who has done some good ~ tho wOrld's $50
An Indeed, said Jones; Is ne COhcOrd phll-
no " replied smith che has invented sure cure
for ohiblains'-l Boston Courier.
The welshmen have begun to realize that they
getting "a much credit for being in things they de-
serve And they remind that OF the hftyhVe sgners
OF tho Declaration Of Independence seventeen were
Welshmen either by birth lineage Moreover, fourteen
generals colonel, six captains and one lieutenant in
the Revolutionary War were Weshmen. In view OF these
facts ask that certain one OF the Mother Goose Mol
odes DO revised, or II necessary expunsed from the
records
Bromley-That Is a beautiful vase You have In your
hall. De Bags. Il IL a new purchase
De Baggs-Yes Iny wife bought 1t last Tuesday
." admired it very much; quite work OF art ana so
!.Very. But there was an attachment came with it
that made the vase seem very SMALL
Indeed What was 1t !"
" The BILL Philadelphia Call.
A tourist assng through village observed the fol-
loving on a board Horses taken In 10 grass. Long
tails 81 50; short tails, 81" The owner vt the land
being asked In the difference OF Price. reped
nles but the short tormened by them they
can hardly eat at allv
| am told that Lord Randolph Churchill has son who
IA qualifying to succeed hin. The little fellow is only
thirteen years age; but those who have across
him say that he Bingsgac quite well as his
papa. and IL only little less select In his cho,e OF adj
ecVes. time since electrical engineer was en-
gagged the town house lifting electric light when
Young Randolph inter ercd with OF tie machinery,
aud told the engineer he would see himwe blessed he
fore he left OIL The appearance OF well grown club In
the hands the Aforesaid engineer caused the young
Churchill y but he took up safe post on the stairs.
aud from that cOgn vantage began TO compliment the
engineer In terms more foreible than polite In the
middle OF the discussion Lady Randolph came upon
the scene aud fetched young hopeful good United
states spank the head which hoored the hope Of the
Ch,lrchs who. considerably discounted aad surprised
AT the mnsclo his American mamma had developed for
his ediacaliOn. skunk away very quietly = II. Cameron
Richardson In Philadelphia Telegraph
Belfast gentleman and Wife riding out one day
recently and stopped ut a house NOrthpOraVe. and
asked for drink OF milk. The young lady Informed him
that they had only SKINNED milk which the gentleman
said would After drinking the man insisted upon
paying for II. but the young lady refused she finally
said. We want pay. we give SKINNED milk to pigs"
belfast journal.
M 4