davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Fz1zE l-aI1zlf- q b. z Write VIC Las 5ez- b.
gore -ls - q -. Posse G1z-z- On c-11rcas .
c-1ss clz1-- l-l-Eszlsss- Fs-.z-T- Ezts bszt-l-r
ll1asy z1-e- t5lsz F-t-El1zsr uEs Ehe-E;s1 t-gE
--ls1z go -ls1 uEaE as 1zlsl-E-s1 rls gTaz1
- 1zH-zE - vie E-- u-.l1rsz. lie EEs5z--lEz
a- CIV ~ IL l-IvalE=-1 1-L-l-- lsE--z- ~
vs-lE-'s 1-lEs Lev E1s WHSLE several slEs- h1-
Do p111z-zE- RESPECTED AZ hz EEs o5-zEzlis5 b
-1=-ia-z L-1usa-t g save ia E1-1-- MS CslE--
air t1l-- 11zs Is sal s-5-Tl1- t5s f-as51-l-
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06
Gp,dM Notus.
Mr. W. =. ALLEN.

Mr. W, y. ALLEN,
la. uss- vi;A Ncssrs- Bi.sr7& Co. e1racs q Nor
sAazl sd HlAAzzzzz >t-asss. 1zd be sill De- pleased
% agsszI O, any l-slless entrusted 20 hfu icI 81
Mr. W. C. PARKE
Hts g. Cscl over Nsssss- BshCP 4 Co.'S EauS ec-usr
Nr7rAEzE EzI Ezzkzua-l Sc Eai uiE ~ h1pPy 20
1-sccl 90 -y hzs-rss e-s-zslz 90 ~ ezrr. lu5 -
FURNISHED ROOMS and cosily Fzr
zIsssE E1-s ear Do ktl sr a. eil,y EqPI szii1u a.
.us NO.4GAEpEN LANE.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

IA s=a1zss- 49, . d. hs-t t7sz -
E-I-saS-l OK uezE E-lzEv ~ - rs "a -lsl-
81 -lzrug sr-aS Il -ts = --s-
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

he ZsHI1afzs 81 Re ~ 1fE1 & t1s Pss-Sc
Lsa se-zirs O. Awe frr11 IL Col1z1eS ~ 5at
5Iis sz-c ihs l7ra las; va asss aE1ss ., TIE I'd
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

~ 7. : a -55 .5z Ss=-sslry q lie EEualz-
AC-rl---s- >'lGl=-E. las lEss--1-ta- ---ls- e.
c--1-lE-s o. Ea1zaz-s q tie ~l5lasy rs1-1Es.z-1
11s-- Lc--Ta Gl=l5=-sE1l1 s1El-1s zEE--- .s sl1u
s17asss- Ne E75s- 500 -. b passed b. t.
lazi1s- -s VA r--rI5c e-1l--E-l-ls-1 - 6sgz--
&C LL-l-z-s-f. as ll r-s'sz-i ul-lss-r-ls1- Ul---
Elss r-11Etg s1c1zss-E-y cary CT -15E llE-
=lEr slg 1=E- lzTll- -lz-F TsEus-- A. l9-l-l
ssssz- l1= sl-z tL-s Tszr vi b. lg4- a. AE-ll-z-l
Para. o. TG-z -EsE- 80 1g--s e sE-l1-11l- asl--
E-11 q. f. o. g.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

IL -lA1f E-1-s Es5zEzl.'s BEzzLz. -r-El
~ .-1-5s h11zz. g EE1a1 So Lr-aa-t- va re
l>ss1sisss -.Ezscs=- uszs Ezso srzzs-zT,cy ca ne
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Ne se5-z -slazs rll-1r g tas -a1z1lz-z Res.
grfe Ms -,-z-sf So zE-5 CIV a. S'1ss-I E-sll,s
~ da=-s uu5a- o1-z1Ea5 q >G-1HE1- s-lss -
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

4 Zoo u1rras7d15azt Erltss- -Ls-s coy l-
Ga1--z1 EEs zraE taz e. "a l711- 5l5lzss az
$ ll. SO u-hs-s g. SGD. l-1 uzz t5z- a. SlJl-
tuL EIl1 uls5e- i1E f=s Tor = -5511- llaszs=s %
Be- Ers5 a. ssas= a; s5l1llnl = a siEaJ- llaazsz
tssT KS have tzs az El1 c-ias ct :1r 81
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Tas E=a- r-Hrsz- g1i=l-- -zs-ar. s-r-irzz a.
Ell5 On Tie zlrZEu- a Luss1Ev. Ar-I. -. =
5Egs tr1z So F-Eu1s11. VIA ca-E9 & cs1zr1l
1H-usE-1lsE. COWS 7 a1--s AID g. al--
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Ths hszry -zs- q Thz-s3Ey l1ss W. hsi 9,
tEzEzE sslF7s-S Lns d1=7 C1s ms tss IN
80 ~ lEa.z b. SsEE b.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Tl,s T-apasa5 D'-sss Pr-uss ya5 Hoy ss he 10
-1lElz 6s*es-- hzs esaz posz7o1ea
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06
ISLAND LOCALS.

Enc- IVY
II, s-ic ~ lz.-s ~ 7-osS.s,y 81 sor HoaS-
- -
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Asa -1a55zzz s: S.svs-siszz, Ihs JE--ra-sr r-1lv
ssvs ttHs- g vi ssEzz az t,eyda6 tss rEngt o
c1z-sz-111 ~ 5azs- a qol- EzE-k % ssocs A.
u-4 ur-1a The 91u5a--
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

~. " e C1-zEeL q WEzkH7z- Nan = i
,1s- ~ 7gT'o-zs rs tsfhEr- NJ Hsz-y C,-zus'
a z ~ ny hszih
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

IL Z A. Hol-1s. lEss se--rss-y &, Tie LsSlsl
TIA aSs e,esz 7-1-e5 = P1Sts1- = re En-
S7r-eE.ls Iva 4 "a
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

3 lE--- T1--sT .-.llz7el il-zflE- o. t-a E-l-a-
l-E .lsl >a=E-1HE zvaElE- E-1l O. a.-E-s1 D. a
.-Tlz> zl-l-E-- -ls c1-lc e E-s 81. coz g 1ls--
--l- b. M sssszv--1ss gs-s sl-aEE-ll. E---f-r
ls-EllEsa- sv Gls l7----s-s= g L-5 -slsz-1zs --z
= IL -
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Els Ez7slsl-T l-5rs-z1- D1--51ls rlsliEz lls C..
: : EHr--aH5- ve>zs--Ev lsl-l---- r-- 81 7l-
a-Tal E.s1 i1s C=s-laEsg slu-ss- zls EFsasss
va T-re-saT V7s-s ias vtssel s1-1EE-
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

E-ss Elsslzz : 15l- AsIl-asv l-szt-l- Nslz-E--
AZ Da7lsr EEz1-1sy l-t1z-El E1sL lass sv taa
sra-H Tas-s-zEy 1si=-z11- sa- EEzEE 90 Es-E=l
~ -a=a7a 1- .zs G-5 -15lszE- Tl-r-1; C1z-s z-H
1.rr- 1aE = 81.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

El1 j. -s.----- 30 ~ "a .l-z u1.1-as-v Z
rzz- Afszc z1-ihs q On uag-1sT Es ave t1z
o rsll Ga sls1l11=5 s.1-1l lEs-l-z t5rss 6sys
80 .as =1zEar
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Ea- b-1sEz-l- Es5aS1v's Co., Ls1-E
t-7l-lss1lE ana sEzlss ASSN Es1- y 3 us-s
g1lg-.Ezasz a. -zasz &C LEl-szEv y -Es t-I-rcsss
Llf55lks El1 SIC s1-- A. : Cla-1I-l-
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06
-KAMEHAMEHA PLATE

auySrSs RACE sa.a. 7-ai',7. --zh'
far a-r-
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06
-eESTLEMEys RACE

THDTlryG OR PACING-NIs n1d rr5a-fs oper
20 40 h1rsas nat have usraf deateu fhree rinafe-
rrrH-s % drive. ~ read ungsu.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

EncE IVY
~ s-c ltTls, ls.-s ~ 5-os,.s,y 81 s1r HozS-
k-=z - 1o--7E-
NJ F-apazsa n'-sss Pr-nss I'd Ec7 o. he 10
-salIlz Rs has sesz T'os77a-eA
" " e Ca-zvs- q wazs1vz- Nan = IL
s-E- ~ -gFo-ss Is tstsEr. n. Hsz1 Co-zrt'l
a z w FOa- asEth-
E-.EAFss-7s. lzss se--y=z-y T. tie LeS5s,a-
tn ASs sssz F-1,s5 n a T1szn1- = re f-7 &
S7-rcEs-s- Iva "a
Tas hs1ry -zs- a Taz-s3zy l1ss w s,zs fos
tEzEzE ss-Tqs-S Lns d1=7 C1s ms tss Ri;
SO - lEa.z - sestz o.
IA s=s.zs- N--zasz Is d. hs-s t-sz -
F-r-s5--a- d- -szs F-lzEv tss ~ KS va ma
al usus- 5t-ss % ne = lasa-
kE1 uu5 las T-1s7ecss t1- IL tE-z1s-s s7at-. tz1
c---s seen cs'5 sa- sas szs-zz-c 81 za1-ies-
ne z.-la4E7s 81 n. III asz1 & ias Psszss
~ se-vlra &C. Awe fr-E IL Cdl1z1s> ~ 6at
5Eis sezzc ~ lrA ~; va news dEtEs ., ias I'd
~ -Dat E--g Ms-ar-i.-s Bzzz1-.- q srsEz
5-T raois h1zsz- &c zEi5z >sz L-5a-G- uls ;as
->,s-s.iis -lEzsc1-- us-i l-1' asz S-a7'ez ca ne
~ lasz
ne ss5-z -sss.s Flu--y q lss -aa-alz-z E.zzss.-
gzff p1s- s7--1ca' 80 -zL-5 l-1y a. Sf1sy-l k-ts
1a=5f l11a- e1I-ll-l- q >a-lal-l-i 80 -
ZS
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uEs sil5 uzs lusi week Las-s vs. ~ l-Sl q
z1z-ls- e s-z1s.s O. s7-lI H1us-Ts1zzc- ~ ~
Asa -1.a55zzz 6. E5vs-ssszzg Ihs JE7-rassr r-1lv
ssys ttnl g ul-L ssEzz az tev1a5 t1s rEnCt O
c1=7szl11 ~ 5o-sr- a qol- ElE-k . sac-s A.
u-l urr-sa The 71E5s--
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: : E-rH-HHE Ee>zs--Ey 1sl-l---- r-- ~ rl-
as-Te- E.t1 l1t C-s1lalEsg slu-as- s-ls Efgasis
va T-re-saT V7s-s ias vtssel s1-1EE-
be- E-ssEz-l- NIs5aS7v-s c. L1-z
E7i-lss1-E ana EE1las ASSN Es1. y 3 us-s
gzls-.EzasE a. -zl5s 1z LEz-slzry ~ .zs EEll1zss
Llk55lEs Ez1 SIC slz- A. : Cla-1I7-
4lt al-k s1n7se .l-aHs E--zVaz q g'1-1 1E-l o.
llf -s-E KS = 1Eys s-Iz So Ezs1zzso1- Az1ll-
lss 7-ssl-cs-s 11Es u1Es = be- = zlsl,s- Tie s-
Ea7V- -1z1as @. = Z sack ultl E11 ctll-
Wv D las uzE o. szssozlls O. s1= O. CAS-
-31-Ea,v sats--glzs = ssz1.- lf-- l'7I- -s7'l--s
a-u 81 FL L-Z -l- 7-=-szszvs VII Be -sl1g-a1 Z
7Is--l.t 1=s1 . srH- s- sl--a s-ls'--11t-
Ess zll-a-z- VS. 20. 5---1i Ez5 a1sa-sz-. TIE
50 rrE e.z1-E 8 sH1rT aEzE G -I1-1S FL -lzs-'V
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

Bees aEzz-sl -7szz-- Ca7sH=z Perks SO
LaszsslEz-s = A. z N1=l1ls L =. --E---1----
>.Ez E1lslFzlz E5sE-5 Davis Lest L-l-lEs
?. EE-llr- LIE-.. ~ C. E.El11-E- Elsl-- E-EE
E-.lz-E- $500 = Z E-E-E E1ls5 El-clzzz-
-l1sg q -gl-lsl1- Ass-slr-1 E---1a4- f1E- /
Goa -1z s1lsll--1-Lz g. Z. EEve-- vz-a -es=-v
&c - Els EE-sss- b Ells---- as -l-zzl Ezlss=
1- sls 49, g 4-l 1zss
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

La=H-lEg -ls E1- =. A. WIS., sasz-.
1l-lsl -zza-- @ Is 1Els1is as 1ls -asl5az1=
Nail Tie 11-ls-- E7I-s aEs ~
g LIS Ea51z- EET 51- - g E1T f-1 50 =
-llas- ll-E L-E- -l= 1l-E-si1lE1llls 1. sls
l=L-E--E E-e ssl1s-a- O. 1-11 LZs--z5 Ezl We
Ua-s--lzs
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1885-05-06

C7zs5z-ltls t-1a5sr "a. assr5 as EEll7 7z So
5-E A7-z s--
-az Fl-sl-- SGD q. z 10 cI1-a5 E-l7.la- tar-1
q s111T o. FHzEy Ap-l 45iE - q $50 weeks
v1cEI1--
szzaszs a, l5ass F=-ssssy saa5 ne =z.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30

WAsHtvGToN, May 10. A story
is told Of Il deaf man from New
Mexico, who called with demo.
cratic senator IN relation to New
Mexico appointments. The deaf
man from tho Territory urged
certain appointments. When he
finished, the president, who had
been previously bored by the New
Mexico offices exclaimed: u am
tired Of hearing about New Mex
leo. wish there was no such Il
place rs New MeXic9.' 70 which
the deaf man replied g ! am
pleased to hear YOU say so. Mr.
President, because it gives as
surance that you appreciate The
condition OF affairs IN our Territory
and thot you will select good mon
and residents fer Tie Offices.
The president was amazed at
this response, but when the sanat-
or quietly explained the situation
the president laughed, shook
hands with the deaf man, who Left
fuliy convinced that h had the
presidents assurance that his rec
oncndation would receive due
consideration. The senator did
not onIightcn his friend sd to tie
purport OF the presidents reply
to the set speech OF the nian
from New bIuNico.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30
vy.s.. Saaeneg-. - :. z,ss..sas.as.
MEMGRTAL DAY.

we are pleased to te that the
"boys who wore the blue" now
resident in New Mcxico, will cele-
brate the day in hoitting man
ner, at Santa Fe. Besides decora-
ting the soldiers graves, a statue
Of the immortal Kit Carson will
be unveiled, and the survivors Of
the 4th New Mexico Cavalry viii
vie with their loyal brothers Of the
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30

TIE legislation Of Minnesota
upon the capital punishment, re-
fleets the changes of pubic opin-
ion on that question. in 1868 the
death penalty was formally abol
isheI except the juncs, in finding
a verdict OF guilty Of murder III the
first degree, were permitted to add
that the culnrit should be punr.ho5
by death. From 1865 TO le-" lle
death penalty was not inaj ol.
In the latter year the penalty wla
restored, the law, however. ..o-
yidiug that the court might c..u-
y its opinion that by reason az-
ceptional circumstances the 4 nth
penalty should not be imposed, in
which the sentence shoad b> to
imprisonment for lite The now
penal code, adopled by The rec,u,
legislature, and going into c.1-c.
next year, makes po exception,
whatcver, but provides that ' A'ur-
der in the first degree is PUNISH
able by death"
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30
rs orR3Rs sEa Us

nected with tho Rio Grando Re
publican, made q recon. visit To
our shire toxin, and from The re-
sumo of his observations, written
mp tor his Paper. we make the fol-.
lowing interesting excerpts:
"Lui"osa IS noted for ITS I.no
fruits wAich find ready marlel ia
tine towns OF Lincoln county. r.
CoShlan, and Golden5er1 BROS.
do the merchandising Tor the com
muni.y, Carrying a large stock o.
goods
After leaving the village tAe
road winds ior twenty miles or
more up the canon OF Ia.1-oso,
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30

or ia. toptron. Tho urespnf class
was soi.cied from the tribes last
October. and thcir advancemen, is
trn,v marvellous. I'm this short
t-n.tr,., have learned to read. TO
do small sums in mathematics. and
;a w~;.ior If ANYTHING they excel
differentiation tmerican vortb of
f,e~aal. acc.
After leaving the Agency the
r s.u.j. rsari tho foot Hills ot
F White Mountains for more
taan i.;rIy miles. PASSING through
q y Hmbpr.d country Of rinc
aal sprac,. The mountains can
wi.h snow rose grandly to the
west. Blanco peak. the highest
mountain in New Mexico. rises
12.090 feet above the sea lsvel,
and carries snow the wear around.
Before reaching Lincoln the Rui-
lo-o. aglo and Rio Bonito are
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30

A farmer in Victoria county,
Texas, had all his corn cut down
by the late frost. The morning
afterthe frost ho went out and
Jook look at his fed. Then he
he used profanel language for about
half an hour, until clergyman
demonstrated with the nauseated
granger, and asked him if he did
not know where he would land if
lie kept that up. That's Just
why | wear" responded the farm
er, "I want dead re thing of
getting to apIacc where there are
no late frosts.'
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30
Nu&BEB 53.
TN Aav1sGD BiBLG.

The work of revising tie Bible,
or Old Testament. has "a, last been
completed. and put Through the
press The translation went ihro'
seven rcYi.ious before they were ii.
ually adoptod. The comm tee has
been At work Hftc,n wears. having
commenced in 1870. The Uni
versity press has tho exclusive
right ot publishing the rayisod
Testament in cucat BrittIn.
There is an appendix to eacn vol
ume The appcildiN to the last
volume contains the American
changes which were not adopted
by both c1nwi,tecs, hut were IN
sisted upon by the American
committee. The tnm EXPENSES
OF the American committee during
fifteen Years, for travelling. etc,
was &3S. 100, and the receipts BY
contribution. &47.56l. OF those
who revised the Old Testamcnt,
three ere dead. and of the New
Testament +, viSers, even are dead.
Among these are the Iutc Profess
or Charles j. kraufh. vice pro-
voSt Of The University Of Pcnnsyl-
valiia the late Professor Tavler
Lewis. of JHion COLLEGE the late
Professor Abbot, OF Harvard uni
versity; the late Professor James
ITadlv, Of Yale the late Professor
n. 3. IIacEctt, Of tine Rochester
university. and the late Rev. +.
Washburn, OF the Episcopal church
crNew Iork.
ELI G.. Ross got there. Cleve-
land ignored Joseph, and his pre-
tentous friends, and commissioned
L. G. Ross, Governor OF New
Mexico. No better selection could
have been made. He is an honest
man, and came from Kansas.
As Ross has no further use for
our tow linc, we now hitch it to G
O'Connor Roberts, candidate tor
p. o. Inspector, who comes as
near being olc of Goods noblest
works" IA an Irishman can, and to
Geo. T Beqll, for district attorney,
than whom the judicial district has
no peer in point Of ability and le-
gal acumen.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30

Ex-MINIsTER LowaLL seems TO
have made quite a mash on Queen
Victoria. lie was last week moi
only invited to dine at Windsor
castle with the Queen, but As a
mark OF special consideration was
invited to sleep in the castle.
The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1885-05-30

tsy-LossHon nouces, and Proof oils
hor banks can be had Al the L, ADER cf
lcs
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-20
Neuralgia Headache Of Women.

Says the London Lancet The increased
and apparently increasing frequency of neu-
ralgic headache among women must needs
have cause. There is one of singular SIM
plicity and quite obvious which has been
overlooked, and to which it is worth while
to draw attention. The pain experienced is
generally located in one or more of the
branches Of the second cervical nerve, very
commonly those terminating in the scalp at
the occiput AS matter of fact the nerves of
the scalp are irritated by the hair being
drawn tightly back and put on the strain
not as whole, in which case the strain
would be spread over the large area oft
surface, but by small bundles of hair which
are pulled back and held in place by hairpins
Reliefis often consciously experienced as
result OF removing the hairpins, but this has
only temporary and partial effect. The in
jury done is lasting if not permanent in its
consequences. The present style of dressing
the hair should be discontinued, as it proba.
bly,, in part at least accounts for the extreme
prevalence of form of suffering which is
both intractable and distressing.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-20
VOL. XXX----NO. AZ.
VARIETIES.

Give tramp the cold shoulder one day
and he will come back the next for potatoes
to go with 1t.
The man who went to the country for
"rest and change" says the walters got most
of the change and the landlord the rest.
-"There is no rule without an exception,
my SON" ooh, isn't there, pa? A man
must always be present when he is being
shaved"
"A lazy boy was complaining that his bed
was too short, when his father sternly re-
piled THAT is because you are always too
| long in it, sir"
-"Well, may hope then, dearest, that at
some time l may have the happiness of max
ing you my wife?"
"Yes, hope SO, l am sure" she replied,
IL am tired of suing fellows for breach of
promise"
II know" said Jenkinson, as he picked
himself up, II know it is said that the high
est use of language is to conceal thoughts,
and this may be true in ones calmer moments,
but when lie falls over a rocking chair the
combination is broken"
-"What in the world induces Mrs. Ruffles
to wear SO many puffs and founces ?" said a
lady at ball, as the person referred to swept
past, blllowy vision of millinery. why"
was the reply, "she has INDUCED so much in
fashionable dissipation that she Las the deli
rum trimmins.'"
-Clara-"Oh, Ethel! Did you hear about
the pretty compliment that Mr.. Featherly
paid me to-day? He said | was among the
most beautiful young ladies at the party last
night |"
Ethel with sneer)-"Yes, Clara, l saw
you among themp'
During the late war discussion took
place around campfire about Darwinism,
when genial hut rough Confederate remark.
ed Boys, we poor, dirty, common SOL
diers may be Kin to a monkey or a baboon,
but II bet higher than l would on four aces
that Mars Bob Lee amt"
AT the last meeting of the conundrum
club the following was propounded:
"What is the difference between woman's
sphere and woman's fear?"
After long and severe struggle the conun-
drum was given up, and the perpetrator
said:
Zone is a house, the other q mouse"
"A story is told of the editor of Georgia
newspaper who attended colored church
in the country, having in his pocket but half
dollar, just the fare back on the railroad to
his home. At the close of the service the
minister ordered collection for his own
benefit "Of course" said he, 81 spects every
pusson to give somethin,' but Use told dat
MIR. Thomas, up de land yonder had some
turkeys stole Friday night. don't want any
man who had a han in stealin' dem turkeys
to put any money in de plate" When the
plate reached the editor, not man had refus-
ed to contribute, and the preachers eyes were
on him. His half dollar accordingly went into
the plate
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-20
Oiling n Crank.

The palatial steamer Mary Powell was on
her daily trip up the Hudson. A number of
passengers had gathered around the open
door of the engine room, looking with in
terest at the movements of the ponderous
machinery. Among the passengers was Sam
Foster, a New York gentleman, who is a
practical joker. He is young man ofmeans,
and was elegantly dressed. Hes, moreover,
very good amateur ventrioquist.
Nov, boys" said Foster, "let us have
some fun with the engineer"
A creaking, squeaking noise was heard
among the machinery. The engineer was
somewhat startled, and he fabricated various
and sundry parts of the machinery with
great industry and an oil can. The latter
contained half pint of oil.
Foster nudged one of his boon compan-
ions in the ribs, and pretty soon the machin-
cry squeaked again. Once more the engineer,
Gained down suspected piston by amounting
it with his aleviator, Thesq ueaking still con-
tinued, and Foster pointed out the place that
needed oiling. Once more the engineer took
his alleviator, and removing the cork, poured
the contents down the back of the festive
Foster, and over his forty.dollar suit of
clothes.
There" said the engineer, II don't think
that crank will squeak again in a hurry
Teas Sifhngs.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-20
A Telling Temperance Lecture.

Two colored BARRIERS, one an old man and
the other young one. The young one took
off his apron and started out of the door.
"Yo's gwan to get drink, Jim?" asked
the elder.
"Dats what Is gwan to do"
go and git your drink. | yoost to do de
same ting when l wus young. When was
fust married, dab was gin mill next to the
shop wha' wicked, and spent in it 80 and
70 cents day outen de dollar a half earn
ed. Wall, one mawnin l went into de
butchah shop, and who should come in but
de man wat KEEP de liker shop.
"'Gib me ten or twelve pounds pc terhouse
steak he said.
"He got it and went out. l sneaked up to
de butchah and looked to see what money
had lef.
"'What do you want p said the butchah.
"Gib me 10 cents wuf of libber,' wuz my
remark.
at wus all could pay fur. Now you go
and get yo' drink. You'll eat libber, but the
man who sells yo the stuff will lab his
po'terhouse steak. De man benin de bar
eats po'terhouse-de man in front eats libber
amt touched de stuff 70 thirty yeahs, and
am eatin' po'terhouse myself"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-11-20
Rnetica1.
GOD KNOWS THE BEST.

Sometime when all lifes lessons have been learn
And suns and stars forevermore have set,
The things which our weak judgement here have
The things DER which we fret with lashes wet,
VIII flash before us out of life dark night,
AS stars shine most in deeper tints of blue:
And we shall see how all Gods plans were right,
And how what seemed reproof was love most
true.
And we shall see how, while we frown and sigh,
Gods plans go on as best for you and me;
HOW, when we called He needed not the cry,
because his wisdom to the end could see.
And ever, as prudent parents disallow,
Too much of sweets to craving babyhood,
So God, perhaps, is keeping from us now
Lifes sweetest thing, because it seemeth good.
And If sometimes commingled with life's wine,
We md the wood worm and rebel and shrink,
BE sure wiser hand than yours or mine
Pours out the portion for our lips to drink.
And If some friend we love is lying low,
Where human kisses cannot reach his face,
oh do not blame the loving Father so,
But wear your sorrow with obedient grace.
And you shall shortly know that heightened
breath
Is not the dearest gift God sends His FRIEND
And that, sometimes the sable pail of death
Conceals the fairest boon His love can send
If we could push ajar the gates of life,
And stand within and all Gods workings see,
We could interpret all this doubt and strife
And for each mystery could find the key.
But to-day, then, be content, poor hearth
GOD plans, like lilies, pure and white, unfold;
We must not tear the close-shut leaves apart;
Time will reveal the calyXes of gold,
And II, through patient toll, we reach the land
Where tired feet with sandals loose, may rest,
When we can clearly know and understand,
think we shall say, God knows the best"