The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-06-27

A few more aHectl0nate, yearnlng,
over-young females have come to fit Of
grief and q deep slough of despond
through their inability in times past OF
keeping their hands off the latest kind OF
stationery. wax and odorous envelopes.
The very first thing woman should
not do after spooning little over a
young mana dude or pirate, is to
write him a letter. But as he urges, she
could no more refrain from airing this
one elegant accomplishment than she
can help turning to look at a woman she
hates.
OF all things-she knows that she can
write the most beautiful letters
What harm eau there be? At first her
letters are dear little scraps of pink pa
per, covered with quotations in an Italian
hand, to show, like st. Elmo's sweet
heart, Just how much she knows.
His answers are evasive, but written In
such splendidly manly way. Thorough
ly Chinese IN his notions, he belittles
himself on every page and exalts her, a
style of thing likely to win the jury over
to him by and by.
Now she wrings from him the pledge
of undying secresy. He VOWS to return
them all OF burn them. "If you think so
meanly of me. darling my love, my life
you had hest not write Them"
This solid, yard wide-all-wool advice
Mande repudiates with contempt for her
little faith, writing all her soul in the next
sixteen pages by the next post.
Mary FIske, that keenswitted, all>alive
diamond of the literary and newspaper
world of New York, intimates in her
"Giddy Gusher" that woman should write
her love letters as if they were to be al
ways read in open court by the opposite
council or sheriff.
Mary, dear, as well try to get woman
to tell the truth about her age, or the size
of her shoe as to render her sensible oyel
letters.
She generally writes at night after
carelessly rambling over book of poem:
he marked and a moon of Delmonico ice
cream seems rolling through heaven Of
Charlotte Russe. Everything is sweet
and true she empties her thought bin to
that hand in silk underwear and hand
painted suspenders.
In the near future some other girl, who
holds the Joker" and the last three
tricks. looks into a pile of rubbish tied
with Cape May cravat. Together they
shout in derision over sentences like
these: Sometimes, Herbert. | feel thai
our hearts were both shot toward each
other at birth, and that by fairies we hay,
been invisibly guided from the farthest
shores of different oceans to rush into
each others arms" And: Tell me or
each day, dear, how much you love me
Ii viii enable me to live through YOU
absence" Here are sacred flowers tori
from an altar and ruthlessly trampled I'M
der the number three shoes of his lates
steady company. Or fancy abaldheaded
Judge, who is expected to name $50, 00t
damages for blighted affections, reading
in court this sort of stuff:
"All, all have | give TO thee. Arthur
l care for no more. Throw my hear
away if you choose. 1t is yours. ash
nothing of you but that you will Away:
think of me as now.
He swears as he never did love her, tina
her wishes are fulfilled $50,000i Ono,
she swore she asked nothing. BAH
When will mothers learn to invite an,
secure the confidence of their letter writ
ing daughters? How much misery am
humiliation might be saved if girls woult
swear to write no letters until married
Nor give photographs to be stacked oil
the mantel of bachelor club man for the
handling and amusement of his fellows
OF course it is only villains who read on
love letters or bring them into court. Blu
as the villain fraternity still lives. an
still ''pursues her" why don't womel
learn that love letter to any man is
boomerang almost certain to come BAG
and knock her senseless when she leas
expects it. Letters from married as wei
as single folks have been as deadly in eff
feet as a fine fat cotton mouth snake, o
adder, warmed in the bosom.