The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-06-18
THE MERRY SIDE !.


esThe young ladies have taken to horseback
riding, and have a bouncing good time of it.
-
This is the time of year when the boisterous
picnic party disturbs the slumbers of the lazy
bIacksnake.
John Hoagland, at Mt Vernon, Ohio, cut his
throat and died. He was seventy years old,
and drunk.
A Memphis paper praises that place sum-
mer resort. 1t is pleasant place. The funer-
ais all we'll attended.
Magoffin County, KY, has twelve murder
trials on hand. That's mighty bad County
for Life Insurance Companies.
++*
Speculation in the political field is q good
deal like speculation in western land. One Of
ten finds himself "swamped."
Ell Mahdi announces that he is going to in
yade Egypt. 1t is to be hoped that he will not
get into the notion of invading England.
The Democrats say they will not run anybody
against Leach, for Prosecuting Attorney. 1t
would be just as we'll to adopt that plan as to
| the entire ticket.
! Toledo is said to be anxious for the Democrat
| ic State Conven. This is as sad a case as the
boy who wanted the hornets nest-and got it.
Phil. Sheridan should write a book, at once.
1t seems to be the fashion for big Generals to
write history. And much of 1t is entirely
new, too.
81 thought you were in favor of a change"
said the Republican to the idle Democrat.
81 was. am yet still want changer
mt coil 1oct gsT
great deal, and know of grander man
than Gen. Lee" Grant evidently forgot him
self
| Gladstone has dropped out of active partici-
patton in English politics. But he has the sat
isfaction of knowing that it will be a long time
before his place will be filled.
The Democrats of Lebanon fired salute over
Lot Wright's dismissal. On the same principle
that the thief rejoices when the paddock is TAX
en- off of the smoke-house.
Charles Beveridge, young married maniwas
arrested in Detroit, when about to elope with a
young girl. The detectives were no Prohibi-
tionists, so they took him Beveridge.
We fear there is a decline of oratory in these
| later years. The American Eagle has been buf-
feted until scarcely feather can be shaken out
of him any more.
Bob Denny, prisoner in the GAINESVILLE City
Prison, took big dose of sRough-on-Rats" for
the stomach-ache. 1t cured him. The Doctors
pumped all the ache out of him.
1t has been discovered that lhe English Spar
rows over at Washington G. H. are feasting on
the 17-year locusts The Sparrows prefer them
to old boots and brown paper, as a regular diet.
-
Portsmouth is afraid she can't raise the neces-
sary funds 10 entertain the Army of West Vir-
ginia, in September. Well, if you can't, just
send the Reunion to Jackson.
The top of the Washington monument was
struck by lightning last week, yet the office
seekers show great recklessness in seeking the
top. They act Just like they wanted to be
struck.
DR.. Piper, a noted California physician, says
| there is no difference between the blood of a
human and hog as viewed under the micro
scope. That accounts for so many men acting
the hog.
AT College Corner Ohio, some roughs hit the
editor of the "Coner Stone" on the head with
club. These reckless roughs should be careful.
They might have hit him on the cheek, and
broke the club
A new swindling dodge is said to be that of a
man calling at private residences and demand
ing fee for inspecting the lamps, on the plea
that he is State Lamp Inspector He should
be told to "light" out, at once.
=.
Many n person is insane on the subject of
dress. but lunatic in Meigs County displays
the other extreme, and has a mania for going
naked. We prefer the former style of insanity.
Cherries come in early, and it doesn't take
many of them to 'sfll the bill" One bite at
one of them enough to turn a mans
spine upside down, and shake all his teeth out.
Sour? Try one!
A young man in Xenia hugged female
member of the Salvation Army, and was fined
fifteen dollars and costs. He doubtless believed
that "Salvation was free,'' when he folded his
sinful arms about her.
Many of our Democratic workingmen were
bowling. last Fall, for a change, which would
bring better times. Well, they have it. Then
they had to dig coal, at seventy cents ton.
Now they get to sit upon store-boX all day
and do nothing. The change is here.
They have at last gotten "the true story' from
Gen. Grant. He didn't take Gen. Lees sword
at Appomattox. This the amateur historians
out. Everybody else knew it all the time.
The proprietors of Sunday papers at Vienna
Austria, in order to evade .le Sunday laws will
have their papers printed st point in Hun
gary. The people are Hungary for the Sunday
news, and must be filled.
A statue of Darwin was unveiled last week in
Kensington Museum, London, the Prince of
Wales making address Thus grateful
world perpetuates the memory of the great man
who tried to make a monkey out of a man.
A deaf and dumb man was married in Gin
cinnati last week. The 1oafers in the Clerks
room laughed at him when the Clerk was ad-
minstering the oath, but he will laugh at them
when the "old woman" gets to scolding him,
and he Annot hear it.
80
When the veterans fired the salutes to Gen.
Logan in Washington last week they warmed
up to the work until it is said the windows of
the White House ratified, and ''the President
looked annoyed" But it was not the first time
these old veterans had annoyed the Democra-
cy by their firing.
There should be reform in the manner of can
didates pledgipg themselves in the Convention
81 am Republican," says the candidate-of
course you are, you have no business in
Republican Convention. And the same rule as
applied 10 any other Convention.
"."
1t is announced as suggestive incident that
the crows flying about the White House in
search of the seventeen-year Iocusts that
said to be plentiful there. For several months
the buZzardS have been lowering around the
White House, watching for twenty-four-year
"plums."
The young orator was called upon to deliver
the Decoration Day Grafton at country
church yard, stepped to the stand, and after
stunning bow, began:
"My friends, Columbia weeps to-day-she-
(ahem) m)-weeps''-
plain old farmer edged his way up close to
the speaker, listened carefully TO his opening
sentence. eyed the young man carefully all ov-