The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1885-12-08
Sa,se and sMoqise,,s1.

The net 10 catch aman mattimoniallyj
The brunette. - ssilf
Delays make bad beginning and 4
worse ending.
The loneessiife is too short to show
us how little we know.
Play-tonic sffsction-G ,ine ont BE-.
tween the acts at tbeater.
A man is wise only jast 10 proportion
that be knows himself. q 4
Triass are serious things, all our hap
piness and misery are made ont Of them, !
A mans temper. unlike the kindling
10 stove, is often fred by bad match.
Every cloud has its silver Innings"
The boy who has the mumps can stay
away from school,.
Women are sal to be always looking
in the glass. Men seldom do, unless
there is something to drink in it.
II you are bilious, take DR.. Pierce's
"Pleasant PnQative Pellets, abe oriei-
nal Little Liver Pills." Of all drug
gists.
Fhe worst error of the press-When
you try to press the niece's foot under
the table, and 1t turns out to be the
aunt's.
"You never saw my hands as dirty
as yours" sail mother to her little
girl. mo, but your ma did!" was the
prompt reply.
Most people think il they could only
live their lives over again they would do
differently. but they Noald only be dii.
ferent Tools at best. ...f
Pure blood Is absolutely necessary in
order to enjoy perfect health. Hoods
Sarsaparils puri6es the blood and
strengthens the syslem.
Hlaiy was once asked why she came
so early to church. Because" said she,
sit is part Of my religion never to dis.
turb the religion OF others"
When man reaches the top Of stair
way and attempts to take one step high
er, the sensation is as perplexinR ss if|
be had attempted to kick q dog that
wasn't there, 9loal2
The sky. unlike man, is the. most cheer.
fol when the bluest. The grass, unlike
man, is most delightful when the green
est The moon, unlike mao, 10 most
brilliant when the fullest
"Where we're YOU born little girl ?"
asked philanthropist OF street beggar
I'm not sure, sir" was the reply, "but
I've often heard my ma say that ! was
born tn poverty
"That artist is friend Of yours. is he
not2" ''Well, yes; he used to be. but
one dav he ~as fool enough to ask me
how l liked his pictures, and l Was fool
enough TO tell him."
L,dy Blessington once asked: sis
there CO earth bigger fool than mere
woman OF fashion ?" and graceless wit
10 The company answered: Yes; the
man who admires her."
"What do you call those animals that
live partly on land and partly 10 water ?"
asked New York teacher OF new boy
"Bathers," replied the boy, who had
passed the summer at the seashore.
"Is that about the right length. sir ?"
asked the skilful barber, as he finished
cutting his stomer's hair. ~ like the
.ide and back" was the response, shut
l wish you would make, it little longer
on the top"
If you were willing to be as pleasant
and as anxious to please in your own
home as you are in theco mpany OF your
own home as you are in the compsny OF
your neighbors, you would have the hap.
piest home in the world.
There is seven-yesr-old boy 10 West
Randolph, Vt, according to the Burline.
ton Free Press, who has no blood veins.
The blood aows under the skin, and il
the latter is cut or fractured blood gush-
es out With great volume and rakidity.
In q cemetery in France one reads
"Here lies G .brielle. my adored wife
She was an angel Never shalt he con-
soled for her loss" Ca the same stone
is the following Inscription: "Here lies
Henrietta. nv second wife. She was
also an angel"
"Why are voa making such Q fuss
over what the gossips are spreading
about your have heard you say
hundred tines that you didn't care what
people thought OF you" "True, but 1
do care what they say about me " 20,
that's an entirely different thing"
A German went into a restaurant, and
as be took bis seat an Irish waiter came
up and howed politely, "Wie ghets p :
said the German. also bowing politely. /
w heat cakes. shouted the waiter mis-
taking the situation Tor an order "Nein. I
nein :" said the German. "Nine!' said /
the waiter. "You'll be lucky if you get ;
lhTee."
1t is sail on coed authority that Just 9
before the ou break of cholera in Toulon
the swallows suddenly disappeared from q
The locality. An officer Ia the Bengal
,slvery said in reference to this that q
iuiIug cholera epidemic In India be 3
had noticed that, though many of the q
lead remsiued unburied. ell OF the car b
lion eating birds had disappeared. 8
An Irishman was advised to take 5
shower baths. A fiend explained to
him how to fit up one bv the use of q Z
,is,ern and cullender. Pat set to work q
Ind bad the taing done at once. Suhse- o
Iuently he was met by tae party who q
lad given the advice, and on being v
'sked how he enjoyed the baths, ex. o
,Iaimed: "Bedad, but It Was ioine; l
'pjoyed it greatly, and kept quite dhry, a
oo!" Being asked bow he msnaged to o
AXE the shower, and yet remain dry, be b.
eplied. "Sure nov, ye didn't think ! b.
vas going to stand under the water With bl
,ut an umbrella!"
A Philadelphia clergyman saws 1t sis 70
shame that whenever money has to be
aised for church purdoses some people %
hink II cant be done unless they have o.
ONE fun over it," Well, does he want 81
hem to have luguhrious, solemn time
'ver it? 1t is better to laugh than. to 90
ry, even in raising money for church oil
purposes though sometimes soch work
8 no laughing matter. Perhaps fame. NJ
al gotten up to raise funds for church st
purposes would please the Philadelpbia 10
clergyman, aforesaid. There is not al
,,uoh finn in a fnnor.l - Nxsr..fo,rn Uo.