The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-02-14
, sTAGE-STRUCK.
Spoopendyke's Cruel Criticism of
His Wife's Histrionic Attempt.

contemplating herself in the glass as she
removed her hat and gloves. "My
dear, wasn't the theater just too sweet
for anything! Do you know, 1 think /
would like to 60 on the stagep"
Like to drive, perhaps suggested
Mr.. Spoopendyke.
!" l mean act, replied his wife. 81
think could do it as well as any of
those women tonight. Do you know
much about theatersP Is it hard?''
NO. grunted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
Juggling at his boots. ut would be
very easy for you. All you have to do
is stand around and talk, and you won't
want any rehearsals for that"
but would have to practice twist
ing around so as to fall in that mans
arms like she did, )" unused Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. Il don't think could do it
as gracefully as she did without irving
several times" = t'ia iteA.'
THAT'S the part you want to play, is
itP" growled Mr. Spoopendyke, with a
Z shade of green in his eye. "You let
me see you fall on any man shoulders
like that, and you'll find no trouble in.
getting twisted around a few times.
What's your idea in going on the stapep
Haveyou got stomach full of devo-
ton to art like the rest of the women of
this generation? Got sort of notion
that you can go on the boards and show
the old. stagers how it's done, haven't
We? Feel the fires Of histrionic genius
climbing up your spine, don't YEP Well,
you don't! IT'S nothing but your meas
ly vanity. ,,s s -
"tDon't you think would know how
to actp' she asked, pulling her crimps
over her forehead, assuming stern ex-
preston of visage, and stretching her
arms down rigidly at her sides. "This
Is the way would foil the villain
-" Is that what you cali itpn inquired
Mr.. Spoopendyke, nursing his knee and
glowering upon her, 'sIt looks more
as if you were bidding against another
woman for secondhand hair-clotb
sofa at an auction. If that sort of thing
is calculated to foil the villain, he must
be pretty light in the waist.,'
- don't KNOW smiled Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. rubbing her chin. I'm allthe |
plays | have ever seen, they always
drive the bad man off with a naughty
look. Say, dear, isn't this the way to |
welcome a husband after long alb |
sencep'' and she parted her lips, gazed |
eagerly into space and extended her |
arms. 4
That's the way to hail a street
carl grnnted Mr.. Spoopendyke. IF |
you want to make the welcome to the
husband perfectly natural, you ought
to have the smell of onions in the hall
and your back-hair inv your mouth.
Ihat,t the Kind Of welcome always
ga No You don't, Aeither," protested
Mrs. Spoopendy Ike. :" II always run
right up to you and kiss yor.''
j. Well there 5 a smell Of onions about
IT somewhere, persisted Mr.. .Sppopen-
dyke, What makes you stick your
arms out like andironspnn, he demanded.
- ! og look as II you were trying to keep
ANYHOW, that's the. way they do it,
argued Mrs. Spoopendyke, q, trifle
abasted. ''Then, when they get the
letters telling them that their uncle has
speculated away all their property. they
do like this, and Mrs. Spoopendyke
threw her hand to her forehead. STAG
gered back, and caught hold of chair.
men does like that, the uncle or
the propertye' asked Mr.. Spoopendyke,
cycling the performance with high dis
favor 1t looks something like the
property at the tail end Of the specula-
hon, but 10 resembles more accurately
the uncle buying a lower berth for Can
ada" - -''.'-'f-S
II meant It for the orphan who had ]
been despoiled, /" murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endy Ike, Strengthening up and looking
rather downcast. g 1t was intended for
an attitude of despair. How would Won
10 it, this wayp" and she sank into the |
clair, covered her face with her. hands G
and sobbed violently. F77'Ei
III wanted to give the impression of I
tight boot and corn. I should do it lust a
hat way, growled Mr.. Spoopendyke G
.Should | throw, my arms forward \
istlessly and let my head fall sop She b
nquired' suiting the gesture to the ques- E
'sThat's more like Il" sssented Mr..
with grin. NJ. s.People t
rho hadn't seen the play before migbt s
nlnk you were counting the pieces for .
ne Wasnwoman, but the. orchestra G
Touh understand it." 1s5os
Il don't care" demonstrated Mrs.
II know could act if I s,
ouid get chance. Now see me scorn q
" lover when l find out that he loves fe
le not and has been paving his adj W
resses to the heiress," and She threw a
e head back stretched out one arm. te