Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-06

A Young woman has been expelled
from a church in New York for saying
that her pastor had kissed her four
times. Very little sympathy is bestow-
ed upon her by the young lady men,
bers of the congregat on. When fe-
male church member has good thing
she should have sense enough to keep
it to herself. A secular puolic is anx-
ious to know how many times the pas
tor can kiss young lady member with
out being subjected to eNpulsion.-BoS-
ton transcript.
Poor tutor: Know you what L do
when l hunger have? Then draw l at
home on nv slate with chalk a white
sausage When | right severe hunger
have, draw | two. Then drink | once
from my mug of beer. eat piece bread,
and rub from the sausage on the slate
a piece away. Then drink | again, eat
again piece bread. and rub again
from the slate piece sausage away,
till the last morsel away Is. Sopicture
| myself in | have the sausage really
eaten. Behold you. it is all only imag-
ination in the world. Flicgende Btdt
Ter.
A stranger walked up to the clerks
desk at the Mansion House one day last
week and arranged for Il commodious
room. He registered his name Nv. II.
Durand and =. Toronto" and laid
down the pen. The clerk looked at the
entry moment and said politely:
Will you not register your lady also?'
The man hesitated and then said: IN
register in an hour" ''All right, sir, "
said the clerk. The guest and his lady
left the hotel. An hour later they came
back. he went up to the registry and
added one word-.'wife." They had
been married in the nterval.-BoSton
Courier.
The following pun was perpetrated
the other day at one Of Pierre Neron's
dinners, to which literary and political
men alone are invited: DO you know
why Richepin, after all, did not go into
the desert?' said somebody. mo, in
deed" well, he was careering along
on camel, when he met an Arab and
asked him the name of the waste land
he saw extended before him. .'Tis the
great Sa(h)a ara said the Arab. What,
again" cried Richepin; i really thought
| had got rid of her And, turning
the camel head round, he returned to
the spot whence he came"
An Engllsn shoemaker has patented
a reversible boot which may be worn
inditferently on either foot. 1t buttons
by series of tongues repeated on both
sides of the opening. and can be fasten-
ed so as to look as if the pair were
rights and lefts." Its inventor thinks
it is the only boot which cannot tread
over to one side"
The American steam brake is now i'll
use upon nearly all the railways of both
England and France. These brakes
are in most cases manufactured abroad
but Americans hold the patents
Though no account of this appears in
the export figures. American brains
are exchanged for European cash in
considerable quantities.
The boss cold wave is that discov-
cred by rofessor HiscoX, of BROOKLYN.
which he said is advancing from the
pole TO the equator, reducing the mean
temperature at the rate of tenth of a
degree in 10000 wears, and is likely to
freeze Us all dead in some millions of
years unless somebody can start up
big fire at the earth ; centre.
The cen,u, bureau reports that in
1850 there were l6 Mormon church or
CARNATIONS and lO,Ss sittings: in 1860
% church organizations and Is, 800 sit
tings; .lS1O lSg organizations and AZ,
638 sittingS; in 1880 267 organizations
and 65, 262 sittings. The actual mem
bership of the Mormon Church, accord
ing to the census OF 1880, was 79,
SS6.
The Hon. Private j. NJ. Dalzelrs 5
| luck seems to have turned Hi, father
I gave him a large farm in PENS nsylvania,.
and now Il rich uncle of his wife has
bequcathrd 10 her anice property in
the city of OskalooSa. la. Still Dal
practices law at the old stand in Cald-
well rs if nothing had happened
CatdWeU CO., JOurnaI
NJ. SardOu is writing three playJ for