davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-29
Bill Nye'S Carving.

My carving is like my dancing. Il
is not conventional. 1t is extremely
original. bold, and audacious. l try
to Introduce joints where Nature did
not intend to have them, and | seek tc
make short cuts across a fowl in a way
that is productive only of chagrin,
vexation, and fragments of hen. Man
is a weak, fallible creature, and he
ought not to seek to monky with the
anatomy of Il fowl or to improvise
joints and apertures where they do not
belong; for at such time as you think
no THE knife will slip, and 1t will drip
over the celery glass and fill the bosom
of warm personal friend with gravy.
To attract attention and keep up the
spirits of the company, therefore, /
make it a kind of business, as it were,
to fill the air with harmless amusement
at the same time that shed stuffing
through the atmosphere and mutilate
the bosom of the hen. This gives me
an opportunity, occasionally to gather
up the sage, bread crumbs and gizzards
out of my lap and return them to the
platter without exciting remark.
A few weeks ago, on an location of
bhlo hiuu, a COuoiH VI d young
lawyer connected with the Omaha
Dad, young man of good parts and
whose business is to stand between
the Omaha road and substantial JUS
tice, at so much year and travelling
expenses, was present.
had just said something smart to
keep the company good natured, while
| asked young lady at the other end
of the table to please return the duck
which l had inadvertently presented
to her with the carving fork stuck in
it. Everyone was laughing joyously
trying TO conceal it by putting their
napkins to their mouths, when nv
cousin turned to my little daughter,
and said:
Bessie, haven't you got funny
papa, thought
''Yes, indeed" said the ungrateful,
lntilial and irreverent heir apparent to
| great name. lyon better believe |
les funny when we |
lave company
And yet people wonder why / am
lot the same genial host that used to
'e, and why the children do not eat at
he first table, and why there is a sound
# kicking against the door of an adj
dining room, and the occasional wall
f a hungry child as the meal pro-
resses. Bill Nye in Puck.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-29

10 Jefferson tells a good story of
Edwin Forrest. The great tragedian
was playing an engagement in Cincin-
natl, and it was decided to put on
'Pizarro," but no child could be found
to personate Rolla's little boy. The
manager and the property man were
at their visits end. 1t was impossible
to have the boy personated by dunn
my, for he was required to walk, en-
brace his father and mother, and per-
form other actions which to dummy
would have been physical Impossible
tiles. At last, in an evil hour, the
property man was struck by what he
regarded as a happy thought. At
one-horse museum a few squares off
the list of curiosities included q mid
dle-aged dwarf, who, despite his small
stature, was gifted with large head
and very old face as well as a singu-
larly gruff voice.
The property man, after considera-
BILE negotiation, succeeded in renting
his midget from the museum manager
for one night only, to personate RoIla's
infant son. The dwarf was not pres
ent at rehearsal, and the character OF
the infant which he was to carry on
was carefully concealed from Forrest,
who beheld him for the first time as
he picked HIM up in the first entrance
to rush with him across the bridge,
and whose feelings at that moment, |
like the difficult passages in novels,
may be more easily imagined than
described. :" Grasplng the terrified
lwarf in his brawny arms Forrest,
never very gentle in any of his stage
business, rushed like whirl-wind be-
ore the audience, shouting at the top
If his powerful voice, .Rolla passes
reely!" and handling the son of his
'doption rather more roughly than
Usual.
When about only half wav across
he bridge the poor midget could en-
lure it no longer, and thrusting his
ead out from under old Metamora's
rm, and looking up in his face said in
deep, bass voice, so completely out
f keeping with his stature and his
juvenility, that if a lamb had
Dared it could scarcely have been
lore surprising: "See here, you
reat big lubber, what are you going :
do with me, anyhow" PhiiadeL :
iiH Times
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-29
SUNRISE ON THE SEA.

High tide and sunrise on the sea,
Spring tide and days first dawn:
A day Ike this once came to me
In years forever gone.
The crimson streak that lieth low
Above the oceans breast,
Shone on that sea of long ago;
And memory may not rest.
IT'S like the opening Of book
Whose leaves were closed by hands
Long cold. And dear dead faces look
In mine from silent lands
And in my heart awakes thrill
AS Of some great regret
So passion-strong that my proud viii
Must all its pride forget,
And hot tears fill my eyes until
My quiverlng face is wet.
High tide and sunrise on the sea,
Spring tide and days first dawn;
The rosy light was gloom to me
For all 1t rested on.
A dead hand clasped within my own
A dead face raised to mine,
And on that face already shone
A glory most divine;
And far away uprose a moan
From oceans crimson line.
Sunrise, sunset, or ebb or flow
What matters 1t to mes
And what Ii days of long ago
Return upon the sea!
The waves that foam in crimson strife
Where sea and shore have met,
And all these thirgs with memories rife
May come and 60, and yet,
They cannot bring the dead to life,
Nor hush one great regretl
- VtVien CdStd,te, IN 81. Louis Magazine.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-29
What Nav Happen,

A decade ago Cincinnati was the lead
ing pork and packing center of the
country. To such an extent was the
hog traded in that the Queen city was
given the very appropriate name of
Porkopolis. To-day such is not the
case. While considerable pork-pack
ing is still carried on, it is as a mole
to a mountain compared with former
business. Even in the whisky bust
ness this city was not so far behind,
some very large dlstilleries being loca-
ted here; but, owing to the distillery
capacity eventually exceeding the de-
mand throughout the country, they
are now running but one-fourth of
their capacity. Each and everything
has its day. So it was with the whisky
and pork-packing interests of Cincin-
natl. The whisky interest is not, or
never was, confined to Cincinnati,
but those distillers located here have
experienced a remarkable decline of
the business in the past twenty years.
If any one business now leads in
Cincinnati it is the manufacture of
beer. Millions and millions are in
vested in buildings, materials, and APP
planes for brewing the amber fluid.
The business of beer-making has
grown to remarkable degree. Gin
cinnati beer is shipped throughout the
country, particularly to the south, |
where, it is safe to say, over two
thirds of the product in this city is
sent. A reporter in conversation with |
leading brewer yesterday was some
what surprised when informed by that
gentleman that beer-making had
about reached its limit in this city.
The extent to which it is carried on is
hard to realize without Il tour of the
various establishments, and having
the optical proof. Said the informant:
There is plenty of money in brew
ing at present. This indisputabe fact
day, but yearly the profits are de-
creasing, and feel certain that in
lime competition and overproduction
will result in placing the brewers in
he same boat that the distillers are in
It present.
Brewing is principally confined to
he north for obvious reasons. The
principal cause, however, was the
inability of our southern friends to pro-
ure ice at price that would leave a
margin sufficient to warrant the
ecessary investment and carrying on
f the business. In the ice lays half
he expense connected with brewing
tut now this impeachment has been
by mans ingenuity. About
We years ago process of ice manu-
icturing was discovered, and is now
| use throughout the country by all
lie brewerles of any significance. The
lachine pays for itself in one season.
atural ice, formerly sold at Sc per =
IN, can now be bought for $3.50.
2uthern capitalists have already
ken advantage of the opportunities
begin the brewing business, and for
at reason think that sooner or later
e field now supplied by Cincinnati
i'll be capable of supplying itself.
abroad facilities throughout the Al
nth are as perfect as in the north, II
nsequently southern breweries could
t material as cheaplv as those in
Is city. y Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-29
"Why do you return, Brother Ray

, "Why do you return, Brother Ray
mondP"
81 remembered paper 1 left here
after | had gone half way to the sta
toni came back for it," he hur.
riedly explained.
your will. Here il is" and she ex-
tended shaking hand to him. He
clasped both hands and paper and
drew her to his breast.
80, my God! Jessica, it is terrible!
Do you not know thai love you--do
you not see that it is my mad love for
you that is driving me from my
homeP'
She had leaned like a dead weight
against his heart. Now she lifted her.
self, put both arms about his neck, and
kissed him.
1t was kiss of Remuneration but
he did not know that.
go, now, Brother Raymond; you
may return to Catherine soon," and
with soft smile playing on her face,
she pushed him away.
He went out and away.
"Come, Ray, let Aunt Jessie row
you over to that island where we went
last summer SO often"
''And can't mamma and Katie come
to!' cried the little boy, clasping his
hands.
Eyes, dear"
1t was three days after Raymond's
departure, and Jessica rowed the lit
tie party safely to the island situate in
the river which ran by their Florida
home.
The little ones soon tired and Jes-
sica was ready to take them home.
'Jessie, you do not seem well, dear
l am afraid it was not prudent for any
of us to come out today. The east
wind is so raw and chilly, and you
don't seem strong enough to row the
boat" Catherine objected.
Jessica, with smile, took her place,
but Catherine said she would wait till
Jessica took the children to the shore,
then she would call Sam or Jim to
come back for her. Jessica took the
children safely over, and Catherine
saw her kneel and kiss them, then Civ
NO them to their nurse who was wait
ng, Jessica once more propelled the
BOAT toward the island. |
''Jessica, it is not like you to be so ,
,erverse. Why did you not call Sam
o come after me, as proposed" {
Catherine, dear, don't scold, bat q
.iss me, kiss me twice, once for BROTH I
I Raymond, and tell him so when he q
ONES home, won't youp" t
"You can deliver your own kisses to
i'm then," Catherine laughed. O
With a grave face Jessica rowed fl
nee more ShOreWard e.
Catherine, write for Raymond to il
ONE home tonight" ii
''Jessica, what ais your 1 really n
elieve you love Raymond more than N
o." Catherine exclaimed teasingly. tc
81 dor said Jessica. There was no s.
lighter in her face, no merriment in ia
or voice, but Catherine only smiled tc
'sently. She was not thinking of I'll
,ssica's whlms aud moods. til
The boat grated on the shore and W
atherine sprang out. RI
But what was this? so
Instead of following-instead of CO
stening the boat, Jessica retained ge
II seat, the boat backed into the deep tn
ater, Jessica rose wildly, and the
KIT moment the boat was drifting
wn the river-empty.
She was quite dead when they found is
r body. The lips would never again or
lille in testing speech, the brown eyes to
yer again sparkle with love and no
erriment. m;
Raymond could come back to Cath TIL
ne now.-Annabei B. White, in Chi We
10 Ledger. is
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-29

What is the difference-all right; you car
leave the room II you don't want to bear it.
What is the difference between pickpocke
who steals a watch and girl who elopes will
an Irishman! He makes off with tick an,
she takes off with a Nick Hashinqton Hat
cIet.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-29
Masonic Charity.

During the eleven years in which
the prince of Wales has been at the
head of the Free Masons IN England
that craft has contributed ST., 800, 0O(
to the three Masonic charitable in.
situations in London.-London Letter.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27
Bovine Life in Holland.

At one o'clock we leave for Amster.
lam, by way of the Haarlemer Nicer,
which, unlike seas of modern times is
provided with good macadam roads
Here we find the typical Dutch houses,
md everywhere canals instead offences.
IN stopping at fine, large farmhouse
or a glass of milk, we are requested to
axe off our shoes before entering. In
mr desire to ascertain the truth of the
tories as to the bovine life in Holland
We accede to this demand, and find
hat the pomp and luxury have not been
exaggerated. The cows do have their
witches tied up with silk ribbons,
possess easy chairs to sit in and also
Gather beds, all reports to the contrary
'eing ISLANDERS. Further than this can
lot go; can not corroborate the state
nent that they are read to when weary,
" that those which are near-sighted
wear gold-rimmed spectacles. - George
=. FiSke, IN Outing.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Is ''silence golden" when a wit,
asks her husband for money to buy
necessary articles?
-He-Won't you 90 riding with me
this evening? She-Have you a gentl,
horse? He-Yes, indeed. can drive
him with one hand. She'll go
Chicago Tribune.
What is the difference between ;
flood and an angry brakeman? One
breaks the dams and the other swear,
with considerable vigor.-MercAGn
Trareler.
Fashionable Children! chill
dren! stop that noise. Sit down anG
keep quiet" Children-"Why, what
the matter, map Ma-"Doggie j,
taking his nap."-M Y, Mail.
An amusing story is told of lee.
turer who, in discoursing on the subject
Of Health, inquired: "What use can
man make of the time while waiting
for doctor?" Before he could begin
his answer to his inquiry some one in
the audience called out: He can make
his will '-BOSt0n Transcript.
Some men who imagine that they
have been made of better clay than
others should take a hint from the
Chicago man who says that some men
who are looking for coat of arms to-
day probably wore coat without any
arms twenty years ago.-AmerjcGn
Crockery Journal.
"A romantic scribe thus describes
the first kiss of a newly-wedded couple:
"Up the perfume-swept avenue of love
and under the roseate archway of Hv-
men, they had passed into the jov-lit
realms of that higher and holier exist
ence where soul meets soul on limpid
waves of ecstatic feeling, and hearts
touch hearts through the blended chan
mel of lips in rapture linked. ~. y
Graphic.
Yes" said Mrs. Catchem, "those
are my daughters over there on the
sofa; they have half a million between
them" 1t was not until after they
were married to those daughters. that
the two young men who overheard the
above remark found out that Mrs
Catchem referred to the rich old codger
who sat on the sofa between the girls.
Mrs. Catchem couldn't tell tib, but
she knew how to speak the truth add
yantageously.- NorristoWn Heraid.
Mrs. Sniverly is the wife of the
Captain of a New York militia COM
pany She attended review not long
since at which her husband was the
commanding officer. Mrs. Sniveriy
aughed all the way home, and when,
after she got home, she was asked what
was the cause of her merriment she
replied; ut was the funniest thing in
he world to see my husband, who never
lareS open his mouth at home, ordering
all those men about, and they doing
ust what he told them to do. ~. Y.
| SIM
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The last three Lord Chancellors of
England have all been Sunday-school
teachers.
Harry A. Garfield. son of the late
President, has accepted position as
teacher in st. Paul'S School, Concord,
n. H.
Rev. DR.. j. P. Newman has been
readmitted with great unanimitv and
cordiality to the New York Metho-
dist Episcopal Conference Christian
Union.
President Gilman, of Johns Hop
kins University, has made plea to the
various colleges to consider plan by
which an intercollegiate system of
granting degrees may be adopted.
Y. Post.
Mark Twain told the Vassar Col
lege students that his usual price for a
reading was $500, but that there he was
quite satisfied to take fifty cents and Get
the other S499. 5Oin looking at the girls.
Troy Times.
In the University of Virginia the
chaplain is appointed for two years, and
the office is held in rotation by minis
cornerstone of new chapel has been
laid. The attendance of students at
chapel service is purely voluntary; but
such services are maintained with deep
est interest, while the religious tone of
the institution is declared to be that of
a strictly theological school.-N Y. IN
deEenden.
Judge Stewart charged the Grand
jury recently at Baltimore very plainly
about gambling at church fairs. saving:
THE vice will probably continue until
the people are educated up to the point
that rallies at fairs will be considered
an evil to be frowned upon, and chances
in holiday presents as a thing to be
avoided. The grosser forms of this vice
are liable to punishment, and when the
business of gambling is carried on in
violation of law, the duty to society re-
quires that the offence should not be
lightly passed over, but should be pros
ecuted. ~ Y. Tribune.
In Bosnia and Herzegovina there
are AZ inter-confessional and "a comics.
sonal public schools. OF these 13G
schools, 90 are under the control of the
Orthodox Greek Church, SO under Ro.
man Catholic, one under Mohammedan
and one under Jewish. The teachers
number 1856, the pupils 8,114-namely,
6,240 boys and 1874 girls. In compar-
ison with previous years, there has beer
a great advance in educational affairs
in these countries; especially do the Mo
| hammedan inhabitants seem to appre
ciate the benefit of a school training fol-
| their children.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27
PART III.
again muSinr by the fire.

NAEdlu HluSlnE by tne 0re.)
"Only dream, as when a soul awaketh
From the bright visions of blessed sleep
And finds the same old sea of sorrow break
eth
Athwart its hopes, with resistless sweep.
"Only an ignis-fatuus DER the meadows
Luring one on to an endless tread:
Only CLEAN of sunshine with the shadows
Which makes them darker when the light
has fed.
ave thought to be so happy with each other,
But Jane and all her brothers scorncd it so /:
They might have been more tender to their
mother,
Had death robbed them, like her, so long
ago.
''His children, having all that this world
offers
Of wealth and goodly home and fertile
mead,
Forbade the marriage, lest their well-flled
Golfers
Be lowered any for anothers need.
'Strange that age finds us still our children
serving;
We bear them, labor for them, do their will ;
Through their deserving and their undeserv-
ing,
Gray haired and wrnkled, we are parents
still.
"They may be weary with our long delaying
And wonder death does not come on apace
He Will not tarry; we are waiting-praYing-
Perchance the old, in Heaven, will have a
place"
--Sdrah K. Bolton. in Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27
COUSIN JAMES.
The Good Mission Performed by
a Graceless Vagabond.

1t has been observed by Mr.. Spencer and
others that the march of the passing years
has tendency to calm the ardor of youth
and moderate the passions of man, and vet
there are notable exceptions to this rule,
and old age is noticeably querulous about
trifies. Here is case in point.
Mr.. Theophilus Brown was in a tremen-
dous rage simply because he could not find
his spectacles. 1t was as fine MAY morn
ing-it was nearly ten by the clock-as YOU
ever saw in New York City. The sun was
shining very brightly without, and the air
was fresh and vernal. Within Mr.. Browns
library the air was not quite so fresh but
it was very cozy and comfortable, not to
mention luxurious, and Mr.. Brown sat in q
velvet-covered chair that might have
soothed a man of war: and vet he turned
and twisted in his chair, pulled out each
successive desk drawer with n Jerk and
closed it with a bang, tumbled over the
papers with reckless disregard of heavens
first law, and then began to look into all
sorts of impossible places-out of the win
dow, on top of the book case, behind the
pictures, and up at the ceiling-as old gem
tlemen will do in such cases, and finally
gave up the SEARCH in despair. He was
looking for his spectacles
Upon the desk in front of Mr.. Brown lay
square note, which Mr.. Brown wanted to
read. He could have read it without his
spectacles with some difficulty, but his
temper having been thoroughly aroused,
he scorned TO give in; and so he sank back
into his chair with red face, and stared
at the note vindictively and probably
would have remained thus untilhe brought
on a fit had he not CHANGED to pass his fin
gers frantically through the scanty fringe
of hair ON the top Of his head, and there, of
course, he found his spectacles.
You can imagine in what frame of
mind he opened the square note. AS he
did so the door-bell rang-a vigorous, de-
termined ring it was-but Mr.. Brown
heard it not, as he was buried in the note.
"THEoPHILUS BROWN, ESQ., have the
honor TO ask you for the hand Of your
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27
Spies Among the Boys.

1t is difficult for stranger to realize
the extent to which espionage is carried
in Russian gymnasiums. The ped
agogues who ought to enjoy the respect
of their pupils and Undue the rising
generation with sentiments of honor are
transformed into agents of the Third
Section. The boys are under continual
supervision. They are not left in peace
even in the houses of their kinsfolk.
BY a special law tutors are ordered to
visit the pupils at their own homes or
wherever they may be living. The
Minister is not ashamed from time to
time to issue circulars, as on July q,
1884, cynically offering rewards and
promotion to Professors who show the
greatest zeal in supervising the moral
dispositions" (read political tenden-
cies'') of their pupils, and threatening
that in the event of any anti-govern-
mental propagandism being discovered
in their classes they will be held equally
responsible with the Directors and In
spectors (ROUsSkid VcdOnOrj, July 2S)
which means money and advance
ment for those who play the part of
spies, dismissal for those who refuse to
bow the knee to Baal.-RuSSja 0ndcr
the Cars.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27

An adjustable mirror has beer
patented by an inhabitant of Charles
town, Mass. This invention covers the
use of specially contrived frame for
holding the mirror, and in which the
mirror can be readily adjusted and held
in any desired position, for use of either
tall or short people, or for children sit.
ting on the floor, so that mirrors OF
medium size may be made more useful
than large mirrors as ordinarily hung.
-BOStOn Journal
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27

A WEST VRGINIAN is having big run
OF luck. His cousin has 'eloped with his
wife and every one of his six Children
Courier journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27

LIsPINS Washington correspondents
says the Treasury girl" is Myth"
But when she 18th a widow, she ith a
Mythith, of courth. Herald.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27

"A Troy collar cutter recently cut on
a special order dozen ladies' collars
twenty-three inches long. We have
seen many young women on the streets
for whom one of these collars would
answer for belt. Troy Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27

THERE are certain social grades in every
rank of life. Even the poor fisherman is
obliged to draw the line somewhere.-BoS-
ton Courier.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-27

"THE best monument TO nv husband -
says Nine. Barrios, would be- a man who
can take his place" As Mime. Barrios is
young, pretty and has eight million dol
lars this ought not TO be hopeless task.
N. \. Graphic.