Milford chronicle. [volume] (Milford, Del.) 1878-1974, 1885-06-19
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
sTRAY BITS or HUlIOR FOUND IN
THE COLUMNS or MN nv
CHANGES.
= new ConundrHm-A Biz Of n HumbuR-
Ihose .sross Deceivers - He saw the
Foint-1iale Vanity. Etc., Etc.
A MINSTREL JOKE.

Of 4uVeiiocutor-"Ohl no You dom
~ mean the wagon. You mean that the
I shutter knocked the driver of the wagon
u, speeches."
N "Dats whar you's wrong. Dis we're
% shutter Iis flew off de building. ana
l. didn't touch de drivah nowhar. seen
1t knock de wagon speechless. I knows
J. what sees, 1 reckon-'deed does"
II 1nterlocutor-"But it's impossible to
: knock wagon speeches..
"Wel, it knocked de tongue out OBJ
ne wagon. 1 seen It do 1t. And de
. shutter war tried for it in de court"
. ,interlocutor = "What did they do
: with the shutter in the court ?"
, ,"'Dey hung it; OATS what dey done
terlocutor-"What for %
''Jis for blind"
A QUEEN.
The teacher was going over the good
ola story OF King Solomon and his wis
dom. Now, dears, who was the great
queen who travelled so many miles to
see this KingP" Silence prevailed In the
class. why, you do know, all of Won.
Inc queen who came to see the KING %
Inc name had been forgotten by the
class. In order to help them. the kind
put misguided teacher began to offer a
little assistance. "You do know. I am
sure. The name begins with S. and She
was a very great Queen" Just then mn
shot little hand and out smoke tbe
triumphant voice of the little auburn.
haired girl. She transfxed the listening
schoolroom with the following briei
statement 81 know, it was the Queen
OF Spades. "-ChicagO Living Church,
LURKING DANGERS FOR DEoE1vERs.
>, Mr. Shabbygenteel-"Well, my dear,
I've made all arrangements for closing
up the 'front.' OF the house for the sea.
Mrs. shabbygenteel - "I'm Glad Of
that 1 want to get the windows board
eu up ahead OF the De Riches this sea.
son, anyway"
row." 'O-luOl-
r.. well, don't forget to notify the pc.
r. ITO watch the hOuseP Nonsense.
'No, no, to keep from arrestinp us
'he men we sneak in and out the back way"
-PhttG. eau.
HUMBUG.
A Troy incident: A woman entered a
econd-hand store and said: "What do
on buy here ?"
rietor.
The visitor had a dried-apple pie
nder her arm. The pie was minus a
bite.
"Weil, said the visitor, "I bought
MS pie Of baker. don't like it. I
Ill sell it to you for money enough to
~ some soda crackers"
She failed to strike bargain and
used into the street remarking;
You find more humbug in the Sorld
7ery day."
MALE VANITY.
It was at ball, and the subject nm.
r discussion was vanity. A lady
that men were also given
newhat to vanity.
'The men are ten times more vain
IN the ladies, she remarked.
That's impossible, said several gem
men.
The subject changed, and a few min
s later the lady remarked
The handsomest man in the room
spot on his white vest" where
N every gentleman within hearing
need down with a scared expression
countenance at his vest.-Zeras
'inqS.
STYLE IN TEE MINES.
/ the Heppner hills this season the
erche thing in overalls is TO have
pocket corners braided in lieu of the
Der rivets that were en- regal last
On. They are worn either stuffed
the boots or outside.
elite thing in watch chains is a
buckskin strap worn dangling from
pocket and Ornamented with a stud
poker chip. It also works for a
b razor strap.
aesthetic rustic substitute for a
IN is a shingle nail or a piece of
1ened stick pOked through a gallus
This style is popular on some
les, but it is bad thing to fall
on.-Heppner (Oregon) Gazette.
TOO LIGHT.
Tell, said the driver of a coal cart
wife, "they've got new man in
lace and I've lost my job"
ny, what was the trouble ?" she
was sitting on my ca lie the --
vas being weighed" he exclaimed.
4 the boss came out and said my
es would be no longer required"
1t there must have been some rea-
r your discharge"
lere was. The new man weighs
unds more than 1 do."-N. r
SAW THE POINT.
ere is a great deal of true religion
Ire, " solemnly remarked young
man, while calling upon a lady Of
lgregation the other evening.
ere is, indeed" was the quiet re-
should never forget that there
rmon in every blade of grass.
lite true. We should also re-
r while we are about it that grass
cry short at this season Of the
-hlt9alO Commercial
A MARVELLOUS MEMORY,
say your husband has q good
?, Mrs. Crimsonbeak ?"
excellent, responded the lady
ed.
how do you know it is SO very
!, I asked him TO bring me home
rel week ago, and he brought
to-day. Now, man must have
good memory to remember a
ng like that for a whole week."
7rS Statesman.
E KNEW IT WAS CORRECT.
load of coal you
what's the matter
weight is not cor
dealer positively)-I superin-
he weighing of that coal my
it's correct to half pound.
then it must be all
course. But the bill reads
, and my scales make Il weigh
lree, Good morning.