Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1885-12-26
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

BUY ana Duy. - Htcdy0 Ledyer.
1t was said of the eloquent prescott.
ing attorney that people hang upon his
words. - The Judge.
What told my Wife," is the title of
new book. 1t is almost needless to
say that it is fction.-Puck.
An old rounder saws paralysis is caused
by canned goods. 1t is also certain that
some of it comes through bottled goods.
PtcayuHe.
Sweden is a good cattle country, be-
cause there the animal never strays, the
cattlemen always finding sheir Stock
holm. Folio.
Bishop Taylor writes that missionaries
with families are wanted in Africa.
The natives will pay the expenses of
fattcning. Burlington Free Press.
When Fogg stood watching the
weighing of his Sunday roast he re-
marked that he felt like Ajax defying
the lightning Bosto~ Transcript
An exchange asks: "What is the
hottest place in the United Statesi" We
reply, without the slightest hesitation, q
hornets nest .-BurltIIgtOn Free Press.
The Russian government has recalled
minister Tchichagotf from Philippopolis-
The appearance of the name suggests
that it was sneezy thing to do.-Bing-
hamto" RpuJlican.
Queer, isn't it? \ man who will
swallow any kind of dish with an impos-
ing French name will be scared to death
if he catches cold with Greek or
Latin title--L,meA Citizen.
Nothing makes miscr feel his i'm
poverished condition SO much rs tc
travel little and thus discover that
there is much of the earth he can never
hope to possess. ChicUg0 Ledger.
DIR. bio Lewis declares that hot water
will cure every complaint that human
flesh is heir to, vet all the same a good
deal of complaint comes from people who
get into hot watcr.-NcD York World.
Police sergeant Surprising his subor-
dinate, VINO should he on duty)-"Here,
here. Oil have none o that" Snbor-
dinate (dcvourlng the last morsel-"Be
: bers, Oi don't think yez will p
Ammj'er.
Miss Clara-"Are you an anglomaniac,
Mr. Fcathcrly?' Mr.. Featherly- ell,
hardly as strougsas that, Miss Clara. ]
fish occasionally; but ! am fond of
angling to limited extent only ."-NeU
York SIM.
Mrs Beacon new to housekeeping 90
"Good morning, Mr.. Quits, can YOU
give me :. gool piece of roast beef n
SuperciioUs butaher-"Malu lam, ! can
give you Il good piece of beet to roast. >
-lhtrturd LHtaD0Vo.
Stanley SAYS that sunshin, in Africa
looks like moonlight. That's about the
way it looks right here at home to the
Board OF Trade man who gets on the
wrong side Of the fence in u big grain
deal. Chic@go Jo0y2Ial.
"What is usually the nationality Of a
bootblack. my DEAR" asked Mrs. eau
ton while her husband was studying the
score of an Allegheny game. "Oh, it
vares,n replied Caution; sometimes
they are Polish and sometimes Shinese.'
-Pittsbtuy Chronicle.
THE MERCHANTS CHORUS.
Here You'll find the merchants chorus.
You will hear it every day,
at is not the goods we carry,
But the is. that pay.
of it were not forthese papers,
And tie ads, SO o ten read,
We might order up our collins
For we might as soon be dead"
-Go)dalEs SlIn.
a California blacksmith is dangerous
ly i'll with CHAMBERS, contracted while
shooting horse. And PENNSYLVANIA
woman is suffering from sprained ankle
contracted while ''shooing" Il hen.
There seems to he fatality about this
shooting business. -Norristoao Her0ld.
"Stonc walls do not a prison make, -
says, or, rather, sings Sir Richard Love.
lace. You are quite right, Sir Dick,
you are quite right; they don't. If they
did, how would the small boy ever get
out of the apple orchard uncaught, when
chased by the shouting farmer.-Puch.
Do not be too emphatic in the expires.
sion Of your opinions, my son. | once
heard your mother speak of the Bliggscs
rs the scum of the earth. Since then
the ''scum" has risen, rs it always does.
first or last, and will have nothing to do
with your mother or me. boston Tran
script.
THE NORTH WIND DOTH BLOW"
Now the mercury doth fall
Ten degrees.
And the birGl Its one and all
Gin to sneeZe:
As they fit about and huttcr
To the South from summer shutter
Or their galvanized gutter
Lest they freeze.
Now the very latest styles
All are set,
! In our collars. cuTs and tiles,
And we get
Growing daft with social pleasure
Tot bottom of our treasure
And we cant / lin t. measure
[ p our debt.
Now we don our winter coats
Growing numb,
To tickling in our throats
We Succumb:
And we all. howe'er so humble
Into bed do quickly tumble
As we shiver and we grumble
WINTERS COME.
A Chinese testament in English char
aptnrc has met ham ,1ripto1 of