Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-02-20
Re.Prints,

LhV udiiOOH Jldt VIII HOt ~ up IL
not good for ascent.
Business men, as well as religious
men, should beware of false proph,
cts.
If you would be wealthy, get upon
a mule. You will soon find you are
better off.
A mans domestic relations don't
bother him half so much as the rela-
tions of his domestics.
A patient said of his doctor" ale gave
me SO much medicine that was sick
a long time after | got we'll"
A physician recently advised his
patient to "live in the SUM-" The
invalid wonders how he is to gel
there.
A boys school out West has only
two attendants. The mumps has re-
Gently swclled that number some
what.
1t was an Irish lover who said, at
was a great comfort to be left alone,
especially when your sweetheart was
with YOU"
"How do you know when a cyclone
is coming" asked stranger OF an
Iowian. Oh! we get wind oft" was
the reply.
Among the most blessed of all con-
trivances of nature is that which
prevents a man from being disturbed
by his own snoring.
An ex-cdltor in Saginaw, Michi-
gan, has become a barber. lie wields
the scissors as fluently as ever, but
does more head-work now.
In commenting a new burial cas-
ket, an editor assured his readers
that no person who had tried one of
them would ever use any other.
An exchange advises an inquirer
as follows: "Don't buy a coach in
order to pleas your wife, it is much
cheaper 10 make her q little sulky."
An inquirer asks; What has CIV
en- women the reputation of being
such great talkers?" We don'tknoW
unless it is her mouth.-Exchange.
Many of our city girls fail to follow
the poets admouition: "Learn to
labor and to wait" They have learn
ell TO wait but not to labor.
A man had an attack of epilepsy in
a tailOr's shop, whereupon the rival
tailor opposite remarked that "'twas
the first fit they had ever had there"
1t is said that life is like a harness.
II has traces of care, lines of trouble,
bits of good fortune, bridled tongues,
and all have Il tug TO pull through.
"There's something in this cigar
that makes me sick" said little boy
to his sister. Il know what it is, re-
sponded the little girl, its toback-
cr!"
''I'd like to know when You are
going TO pay me that bill you owe
me. I've run as long as propose to-"
"Well, let the bill run little while
now, please"
An acquaintance ofthe other sex re-
marked to woman: II never heard
of seven devils being cast out of a
man" "No," was the reply ;"they've
got them yet"
An exchange says that "the man
or woman who has never loved,
hugged, kissed, played with, listened
to, told stories to, or thoroughly
spanked a child, has missed the car
dinal joys of life"
"A mathematical question. A
gentleman while crossing the Brook
lyn bridge met beggar 10 whom
he gave fifteen cents: He soon met
another to whom he gave ten cents.
What time of day was it? Answer
"A quarter to two.
A student at Wesleyan College
recently described a pillar of their
auditorium which had been wound
with an American flag, as a BARRIERS
pole-"emblematic," he said, "of the
close shave some of the graduates
had to get through"
"What do think ofmy mustache p
asked young man of his lady friend
Oh ! it reminds me ofa western from
tier city," was the answer. "In what
respect, pray?" because the survey
is large enough, but the settlers are
struggling"
"Will you pull the bell ?" she asked
of man across the aisle as the
car reached the corner. mo, ma
dam," he answered, with a bow
"but l will be most happy to pull
the strap which rings the bell" Ah
but never mind! The strap is con-
nected with two bells, and you might
stop the wrong end of the car"
Edward, what do 1 hear?-tha
you have disobeyed your grand
mother, who told you just now mo-
to jump down these steps?' "Grand
ma didn't tell us not TO, papa; sh,
only came to the door and said. q
wouldn't jump down those steps
boys;' and l shouldn't think sh
would-an old lady like her."