The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-09-25
THE TRAMP's NEW SCHEME.
How He Makes a Living at Family Gather

81 'spose you dent remember
me-" aid a man in the park as he
came up and grasped a reporter by
the hand. The voice was family ia
mlllar and the speaker, who was de-
Gently dressed. though evidently not
particular about harmonious colors or
perfect fit, had Il slouchy movement
that indefinitely recalled some person
he had met. The man smiled and
drawled out, 81 thought you wouldn't
know me; don't you remember q
couple of winters ago when you'd be
comm out of that printin' office over
there, how you used to stop and 'buz'
me about what you called the noble
army OF trampsp 1 don't forget you,
sir, for when you'd getthrough talkin'
you'd put up for coffee and cakes, and
more than once for lodgin'. I'd be
real glad if you'd go and have q
schooner or cigar OF suthin' with me.
I'm fixed" said he, pulling out a
handful of coin and bills, land would
like to set 'em up ~
The reporter declined, but upon
calling to mind the emaciated, dilapi-
dated tramp he had once known, was
forced to inquire how so marked a
change of condition had come about.
"Well,' said he, ''lf you won't give
it away I'll tell YOU though l don't
care if you do, Aforl am going west on
the same lay. For the past two years
I've been working the family gather
i~ngs--thosc folks, You know. who adj
Vertise for everybody OF their name to
meet at some one place to chin about
themselves and hayc IL picnic.
YOU see, one day last summer |
was KILN time readin' il newspaper
I'd found when / run across one of
these meetin's. Well, it must have
been-mnst have becn-what is't that
gives them poets II steer:?n
"lnspirationph suggested the re-
porter.
yes, that's 1t, 1t must have been
that; for all Of asudden sutlln' sad:
That's the racket for you. my boy,
so make believe you're II of the
gang! You see, before | got way
down where | was when you first saw
me used to 'supe' around tleaters;
that made me think how easy 'twould
be for one OF them actors to put up
such a job. Wen, the first lot tackled
was on Il big farm up the North river.
l got q piece of blue pencil, made an
anchor on my wrist, and put their
name under it, 50 us to look like In
dla ink, you know. l had On a sail
or's blue flannel shirt when | went on
the grounds. There | told 'cm | had
always follered the sea, and had lately
had hard luck; had read about the
meetin' aud come to see if | knew any
body of my name.
well, they're always Jolly and free
at these places; so they asked ME to
rest myself, and raised me some better
clothes than / had on: after that We
had some bully grub. walked around
and answered questions rs we'll as |
could. Now and then. when no one
was lookin,' some good old maid
would come up, unloch her satchel,
and slip a dollar or two in my hand.
I've been goin' from one place to an
other, summer and fail, ever since. /
keep the run of 'em by the papers and
what | hear around, and | get plenty
of good duds and lots of cash. | play
the sailor dodge most always. Some
times fix up, but ii isn't a good
way, for they expect you to chin two
much.
'.say, if ever you 90 Oh this racket,
let me give you the straight tip; don't
be fresh, don't talk more'n you can
help; leu them do the clinin'. Imade
4 mistake that way where was last
week. | was gettin' along first-rate.
had been there two days. At lunch
under the trees the last afternoon an
old lady squintcd at me through her
specs for II while, and said I put herin
mind of Ike, who went outwcst some
years ago to see some cousins who
were not known out this way. Well,
l was fool enough to say | belonged to
the western branch. as they called it.
and remembered Ike That settled
it; they all soured on ne at once, and
| found that the western blokes had
got Ike a drinkln' and gamblin',
and that branch of thefamily was look
ed at as N. q. So, | didn't get Il rake
that time.
"Another thing: don't take in any
folks with long highfalutin names,
with de or a to EN-; they generally
have their families down fine
and you'll get left sure; better
90 for the Smiths. Thompsons, OF
Browns.
''One time down east though.
struck a swell crowd and got Il good
stake when ! thought I'd no show at
all. A big chap with diamond studs
saw me and asked me what l was
dom there! | gave him a ghost sto.
ry about lookln' for my relations. And
I'm blamed if he didn't shake hands
with me and said he'd help me look
'em up Thenlle took me u little tc
one side ard asked me if I'd do him 8
favorp He said he'd left Boston with
out sending an important telegram
didn't like to leave the party, woult
l oblige him by goin' to Boston
sendin' the telegram, anC
waitin' for an answer? Wait,
said he, if it takes you al
day He handed NE a twenty-dol!a;
bill and Il railroad ticket. Well | die
the errand, waited u good while, NJ
answer came, and then | tumbled t.
it!-Yes, sir, just as you say. | was
paid. like the organ-grinder, to e
away! But, don't you see, ever
that beats getting bounced from
a free-lunch counter. like in ole
times. chi
But come" and here the tramp 5,
earnestly urged the acceptance OF tn
hospitable .'schooner," that the re
porter had to compromise on calisay;
and settler at Il Broadway drug-stor'
before the good-by could be said.-
NeW York tribune.
re
Seeming Il Shaver.
MANY years ago, when slavery wa
the rule and noethe exception, vessels
,,,,,,,r a. oa1rn Npnrp aytrnma1y