Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-01
BRIGHT BITS.

VERY few single eyeglasses are now used
IN tue House Of COmmonE, gOld-rlmmed spec
taeles being in vogue They don't quite look
80 j%aunty, but they cover a multitude Of after
dinner sins.-Fun.
FERDINAND WARD does not mngle with the
other inmates of ludlow street jail. The
young Napoleon Of nance isn't altogether
bad. Blessed are the merciful," satin the
gospel.-Bost0n Iraubcftpt.
WHO made YOU a small girl was asked.
God maze me that LENGTH indicating
with her hand the length Of q newborn in
FAINT: and l growcd The rest myself" re-
peated the infant heretic.-Esehaage.
IT ia said that 10000 Of the Inhabitants Of
Glasgow so 70 bed intoxicated every Satur-
Gay night. This shows the hard sense OF the
Scotch. In this city. instead OF going 10 bed,
they would roam the streets until sunday
morning. hlGdeLDhia CGH.
81 PRESUME | have seized the baggage Of
more actors than any other man IN town."
said a gentleman at the railway station in a
SINAI town.
An! you're a constable. are your,
NO, sir; Pm the baggageman."-C6icaao
He1os.
Observation-Disclosures cried Bismarck
Socks came in and cooked lnquiringly at the
Chancellor. Dit you hlace dem Caroline
Iants in De ize chest NIT dem utter dings v0t
/ hei cot nit AfricaY' seizure" ''Veli. den
daEe en- ouet and send ul pack. Dem
opOOnyards dey Say dey viii cone offer und
We git dot koolera.'L i1s6ar5 Cir0nicle.
COOK, settling account with the green
grocer: Your bill is right with the excep-
ton Of the last melon it was only four francs,
and you have charged ave francs"
Green Grocer: "Oh, no; it was a five franc
melonw
Pm sure it wasn't sir; here's my house
BOOK that l show my mistress, and that melon
Is put down at eight francs. If it had been
five francs, as you say. / should have charged
her ten francs '-F7Gar0 Joker.
"LooK HERE, MIR Grocer said a Hartford
citizen. "How's this / get twice as many
huckleberries for q quart as l did strawber-
RES" wei, that's your luck. Besides
huckleberries are smaller, and of course
there's more Of lem IN a quart " &C course,
but ! don't mean that exactly. | get a bigger
dish full of hue leherries than l do of straw
berries for q quart "Oh, well, | can fix
that easy. Here, Bob, give this gentleman a
strawberry box full o. huckleberries." That
was about a pint and Il half.-Hdrtf5rd Post.
SCENE, a Ble4cker street car. Enter a young
man and his gill There are only two vacant
5eafs-One on each side OF a stout lady. The
young man ask ue iady to move to one side.
Stout LRdy-Ive paid me fare and Ili sit
where l am. Ifyez dOn'tlike II, yez had bot
thor get a cab.
The yOung an and his girl sat apart, di-
vtded by the stout lady. When they got out
the young man looked at the stout lady very
severely andsaid.
YOU'D better take the Brooklyn bridge
neXt."-NeDY 0rb Sun.
HER THoUGHTs.-
"Of what are you linking, dear maiden,
That your features are looking so bright?
Are you cOprting the stars in the heavens?
All! to me your ewes are more light.
Are you thinking of past or of future,
Oh Of present So blithesome and free2
Are you thinking this life is an Eden,
Are you thinking of love and Of me?'
81 an thinking l hear dads dog coming;
Its an awful thing to get bit;
And that dog is so awfully hungry
1 am thinking that you'd better git!'
-Chfcaao Sun.