The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-08-22

sight l know of. You take heavy NOUS
tache, and after coloring it a crushed tom
cat black, hang it over new set of white
commercial teeth that were made for an
other party and you have a picture which
will make a horse leave his stall with
pleasure.
Nothing looks more beautiful than
beautiful hair growing where it was planted
by an All Wise Hand; but nothing can be
more pitiful than the picture of an old
widower rising up out of his grave on the
morning OF resurrection day with a lot of
London dyed secondhand hair and a set of
dolar-store teeth in his hand.
l have made some experiments in the
hair line and | find that | can let my
grocery account run Just as long without
hair as | could with hair. SO that, for the
purposes of trade hair is not essential.
Let us go still farther and see how it is
about matrimonial matters. 1t is claimed
by gray-haired widOwerS especially, and
bachelors who We're born long time ago,
that gray hair or seldom hair is Injurious TO
matrimonial opportunities. This depends,
Of course, upon who the victim is to be. If
She.Oe young and SkittiSh thing from the
kindergarten, who regards hair as a mark
Of success in life, perhaps you are right in
trying TO improve on nature; but if she be
the kind to stand up and fight for you in
stead of with you, large assortment of
damaged hair will not catch her
| know that a man with five cents worth
of hair may marry far above his station in
life for l have tried it myself so the
dangerous and foolish habit of wearing the
hair that has been rifled from foreign
norgue is not eXcuSable on the ground that
we can not be properly loved if we are valid.
This ought to be equally true of the hair
that is gray People who have nice gray
hair should remember those who part their
hair with a Turkish towel. If | had gray
hair instead of a site for it, as [ now have
l would spend my time largely combing it
instead of backing it. Those who black
their hair as a rule do not comb it as much
as they should for fear of wearing off the
backing. Is it not singular that man
should prefer paralysis and black hair to
health and handsome white hair? Isn't it
odd that man who is Old enough to know
better should Choose to be premature angel
with dead black hair and a dab of hair dye
Oh his nose when he really don't have to?
The Other day | saw an old party who
had two long brindle tritieS OF hair pulled
in front Of his ears and colored. On top he
had 10 bar and behind he had neglected
20 Color il, 50 lndJ Nnen ne looked in the
mirror and had his hat on he could fosl
himself. lie certainly did not fool any
body else.
| could not help thinking how he would
look when Gabriel sounds his horn and the
Old gentleman begins to scrabble around for
his hair dye and his hat so that he will
look pretty before The iudgment-bar
We should so live that 5, 900 years from
now future generations will not stop to
ask: Don't he wear his own hair or that
OF total stranger" We should lead such
lives that people will be sorry when we are
gone and regret it for two or three days at
least. 1t is better to die bald-headed and
beloved than TO live forever wearing coal
black hair and surrounded by millions of
people who assure us that we need not post
pOne our death on their account Still there
are men who do not care for all this.
Neither do they care for health. They would
rather die pretty paralytic than to live
white-haired and on the square.
We talk much of the folly and vanity of
woman, but, when man really becomes
ambitious to be a star fool, he shames all
the female fools of his time into an early
grave.-BtU Me-, in Truuelers' Mdgd-
stHR