Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-08-15
"MUSIC4LE DE EELfNF."
How Artemus ward aud the rat Contrib.
utor Made n stake.

How Artemus ward aud the rat Contrib.
utor Made n stake.
Cleveland Press.
MANY years sgo, and before either OF them |
had become known to fame, Charles Browne |
ihe late Artemus Ward) and Miner Girls
void (the Fat Contrbu'or), tramped into
little Indiana town in quest OF employment
at their trade as j)urnymen printers. lhere
was only one printing Office in the place, and
the proprietor of that did not have enough
work to keep himself busy Tor more than one
or two days in the week. As the boys were
dead broke" however, it was necessary that
something be done tor their relief. The
three put their heads together and soon
evolved scheme which will be developed as
this article progresses. Posters and small
bills were struck and freely distributed
through the town announcing
"Musicale de Feline the solos
aud choruses Of which were to be
executed entirely by cats. The services OF
"A carpenter were called in and be fashioned
| out OF couple of boar is an apparatus sim
| liar to the instrument used in the latter part
| OF the last century tor the punishment OF
petty offenders and known as "stocks." 1t
was arranged that the heads of some y OF
while their bodies remained concealed from
view. The tail Of each was also fastened
securely beneath light strip OF wood in such
a way the pressure would apply equally to
the caudal sppendage OF every Tabby and
! Thomas OF them all.
| A score OF boys were scattered about the
| city capturing the animals destined to take
| part in "the great moral show The towLs-
people took an interest in the proceedings,
and when night came the hall in which the
entertainment was to be given was crowded
TO its utmost capacity. Everybody was there,
from the gray haired grandslre down to the
| infant sprawlipg in its mothers arms.
A. the tall gauut form OF Brown, who
managed the stage while Grswold receive
the money, appeared, the restless crowd
ceased It's cbattering and relapsed into an
expectant silence. =,
Ladies and gentlemen, grsvey remarked
| Brown, ''the entertainment you are about to
enjoy is one that has required great deal OF
expense and untold patience 10 prepare. AS
YOU are probably aware, the programme is
TO be solely by your local cats, who are uf-
terly unused to appearing on the public stage.
| 1t will be necessary for me to caution you
against makfg the slightest noise. II the
| concert is to b a success the s'rictest silence
will have TO be maintained.
| The curtain arose slowly. The audience
| took but one glarce At the stage and burst
| into roar OF laughter. There IN the full
| blaze OF the fOOtlghs, were the heads oil
more than dozen cats ranging IN SIZE from
the veteran Thomas to the tinies' kitten,
their eyes sblsze with rage al their enforced
Imprisonment and gla?ing at the assembled
spectators in sullen slleGce.
AZ 500" a. order could be restored Browne
again came forward and demonstrated with
his patrons. He spoke OF the absolute ueces-
city Of siIence, without which, be positively
averred il would be impossible to proceed
And ladies and gentlemen,' he continued,
81 must beg that those OF you who feel that
you cannot restrain your risibilities will have
the Kindness to step to the door, receive back
the money you have Taid aud Withdraw from
the hall OF course TO od left.
A ter waiting a mom.nt Browne added
We will now sound the bass key" at the
same time planting his loot squsrely on the
rear attachment OF a mouser who stood at the
head of the row. The as,ouished animal
gave vent to howl of pain, which was au-
swered by a solitary "miaow" from further
down the line. This was too much Tor the
audience, who laughed louder than before.
At this B.owle becsm- very indignant
aud told tie crowd frankly that he would
stand no more OF this nonsense. "My partner
and myself he said, "have been TO great ex-
pense aud trouble to arrange this novel and
interesting exhibition tor your benefit. de-
sire TO give you fair warning that, in the
event OF another d-uDnst rstion on your part
similar to that one that has Just ceased, the
performance will be abandoned aud the en-
trar ce money will not be returned"
Then the inimitsbe wsg solemply stepped
TO the rear Of his queer orchestra and came
| down with his full weight on thin strip OF
wood which rested on the combined tails o
his feline performers. The effect was iDstar-
tame us and beyond description. A yell went
| up from those tortured cats 10 which ths
groans and shrieks OF lost souls in the bottop
less pit would have been like the sweet strts
! ot Bowling Green senior qusrtette on ate-
nafing expedition, in comparison. Th(fllc-
uious spectacle was irresistible and fowd
fairly shook the building with iiyl'pIause
and laughter. Browne lowered curtain'
made his way ou, the back windSeaha howh
a ladder, which had been proNsd Tor that
purpose, and went his wy' me MOTEL
where he had already beeu pvieued oy rrls-
void with the cash more fth nail an hour
before. By the wndowf ,helr room the
two worthirs sat for in listening to the
| gulled yet hilarious Hocers as they wended
their way homeward fm the hail, swearing
in their gl,e that it VS. the best "show' they
had ever seen in tt'r lives.
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