New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-02-18


sion of it. If he doesn't some other
fellow will freeze on to ii. Norristow,,
Herald.
A bookmaker witnesses in the street
the accidental death of an acquaint-
ance. He sets off to break the news to
he widow. He is charged not to tell
her too abruptly. At the house he
asks for ..Mme: Widow X.' II am
Nine. x" says the lady, '.but am
not widow Would you like to
bet on it?" responds the bookmaker.
French Joke.
A minister forgot to take his sermon
| with him to church, and his wife dis
covering the mistake, sent it to him in
charge of small boy, who was to re-
ceive 10 cents for the job. Presently he
returned for the money. 'You deliv-
cred the sermon, did youp'' she asked.
mo, num- he replied, II jest guy it
to him; he's deliverin' of it himself. -
-New York1smaes.
Mrs. Benderly, on returning to her
house from a walk, went into the kitch-
en- and said to the colored cook: ma
tilda, hear from the neighbors that
you have been having visitors here
while I was away. That must not
happen again." ''Au right, num-
I'll told de culled gemman, what am
payin' me 'tenshuns dat after dis he
must call on me while you am in de
house. ''-Te1as Sit1ings.
''1sn't that just awful maw?" ex-
claimed a pretty Chicago belle. What
dear?' asked her mother. ''Why,
they've taken Maud SIS shoes off
and are going to make her 60 barefoot
ed, the papers say. It's just horrible.
I'll warrant any one who would make
me 90 barefooted would know it!' and
her bright eyes snapped Indignantly,
while her gentle mother sighed heavily
and toyed with bottle of new-mown
hay.--Chicago Tribune.
II saw beautiful little baby on the
street to-day" observed Miss Gusher.
'.Did YOU speak to it?' '.Indeed, I did.
| tickled it under the chin and said,
Oh! 90 pity title tootsie wootsie. -
"What did the baby do % "Do! 1t
Strengthened up and yelled like mad.
Inever saw such a badly behaved young
one. What was the matter with it do
you Supposed Il don't know, but I
expect it didn't understand you. 1t
probably was a Boston baby.-Drake's
Travellers Magazine.
''Let me see, you told me your hus-
bands business in the States was %
Literary pursuits, replied the ex-
cashiers wife to her Canadian neigh
Dor up near Montreal. 'Hc was IA
NOUS writer, was hep" went on the Ca
madam encouragingly. ooh, yes,'
said the wife; che made all his money
by writing But a caller or some
thing else prevented her telling her
friend that her husbands writings had
consisted of forging his employer s
checks.
'.Mr. Jenkins" replied Miss Great
heart to caller at the Greatheart man
sion the other evening, sis the window.
shutter business profitable one?'
"Window-shutter business?" calculated
jenkins. ':Why, I don't know any.
thing about the window-shutter bust
ness.'' "You don't?' replied Miss
Greatheart in surprise. "Why, pa sale
this morning that you made $l2 by
raising Mr.. Henderson's blind las
night" Mr.. jenkins changed the sub
ject by asking Miss Greatheart how
next Wednesdays matinee would strike
her.-NeaU York San.
''Dese hyah erfquakes am te'ble
things, amt dap observed an old col
ored man on Southern train. eyes
indeed they are. - "Speck da is jis
too BILE TO any use. But dunno jis
why, boss, but some way or odder
am wishin' an erfquake would COM
into ouah neighba' hood, | does. -
That's strange wish.' Eyes,
knows it is, boss, but yo' see, it is di
way like. Times is mighty had, an
an de cullcd man is cuyus pussun
yo' know, an'-an'-an' he like to Sc
what he hyahs tell on, yo'know, an
times is mighty had, an meat is ha''
to git, yo' know, an'-an'-an'-''-
"Well, what is it?'' Eyes, boss, an
down in my neighba' hood de chicken
roosts high, an'-an'-an' l just Xix
to see once what effect erfquake u
have on 'em, would. - Chicago He'
| aid.