Smyrna times., 1885-07-22
WHOLE NO. l,57O.
HERE AND ELSEWHERE.

save Che cnlld.
The Government wants the Indians
to plough; which the Indians try to
with bullets into cowboys.
Seventy-five per cent. of the fires in
the United States is due to tobacco
smoking and carelessness.
A miser always thinks himself poor
because he looks at his money in the
way he packs it, edgewise.
Vacation children think they are
getting more of batistie, the new
fashion fabric, than they want.
Alter the most of us pass fifty we see
that the difference between sincerity
and dissimulatiOn, is next to nothing.
The raising of silk worms requires
minute attention and about only one
remove TO harnessing a woman to a
plOw.
The Cheyenne Indians are uneasy
with an abundance of ammunition and
some of the finest Springfield rifles in
their hands.
The darkies believe witches travel
with tOrnadOes. White folks are but a
triie higher. They believe they travel
with switches.
Nearly always with change indica-
ton in the weather under a falling ba-
rometer black silk hats want to curl
the wrong way.
The coal oil refineries at Baku.
Southern Russa, are operated by Per-
rians and Tartars and are as crude as
the oil they handle.
Ethel, a two-year-old Jersey COW,
owned in Tennessee, goes on record for
producing in seven days thirty pounds
and fifteen ounces of butter.
The blanket of offensive partizan-
ship" which has been stretched to its
utmost efficient service, will retain men
because they are worth having.
In geometry the part is not greater
than the whole, so also in religion the
prayers of Sunday, may fall short of
balancing the trickery of the other six.
All history abounds in pervelsions.
For instance, "To the victors belong
the spOils." As if there were anysat-
isfaction in spelling, even for the vic
tors.
Postage stamp cOllecGng is called
the philatelical craze" but to stand
serenely behind the little window and
dispense them may be called the bread
and butter craze.
In opening to commerce 5000 miles
of navigable rivers in the heart of
Africa, Henry NJ. Stanley, from an OBJ
scure American reporter, has excited
the envy of Europe.
The apolOgists for the mind cures
are nearly right in maintaining the
principle that most of the sickness
among people springs from chronic
brOOding about self.
A Western editor said that like
Washington when the pinch came he
could not tell lie, but unlike George
in that no body paid any attention to
him whether he told lie or the truth.
The schooner TWenty-One Friends,
| abandoned last March off the Jersey
coast was passed at sea by the French
steamer Amerique from New York,
1900 miles distant from the above
named point.
Here is the way a Chinaman lets
himself go on a COney Island, N. Y,
sign: "Icee Creamee heap Mclean
man. 10 Centee, muchee more Is CEN
tee, freeze inside Outee % centee.
Washee alice time
One of the peculiarities of nature is
to magnify. \ man with fat bank
account, whose every touch of effort
turns to gold, cannot help thinking as
he walks down the main street serenely
twirling his cane, Il own the town"
Accomplished eaters, and it requires
no special training to become one,
order now for breakfast a bluefsh, a
few puff rolls, and a bottle of light
Sauterne wine, the common run mean
while adhering to the old salt macker-
el and heaped-up plate of slap-jacks.
The New York Sun favOrs the idea
that corporations or cities should ex-
empt personal property from taxation
and throw the burden on real estate
and chartered corporations. This
would put stop, it says, to a vast
amount of vexatiOn, annoyance and
miscOnceptiOn.
U. S. Consul Frank Mason, at Mar
seilles, France, says this is the kind of
q man that can walk with impunity
amidst cholera: A clear head, good
digestion, regular sleep, temperate liv-
ing and all that, that implies in avoid
ing everyday imprudences, besides eat
ing and drinking.
Hardly does a guest reach the Hotel
Kaaterskill, Catskill Mountains, before
a guide takes him in charge and pilots
the way to the spot where it is believed
Rip Van Winkle took his long nap of
twenty years, after playing that beery
game of powders with Hendrick
Hudson and his crew.
Ladies reared in the lap of luxury,
in the garb of Little Sisters of the
Poor can often be seen in the large
cities picking up cast-away cigar
stumps, place them in a satchel and
take them to the old men under their
charge, enabling them by this means to
enjoy at times a soothing smoke.
With rush and roar large portion
of Cheney mountain, New Hampshire,
took a toboggan slide ON the 10th and
came down with iFightful rapidity to
the levels below, sweeping everything
hafora II In HNaan nninutaa the tODO-