Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1885-04-09
HNRR avn FHsHE,

Positive, watt comparative, WAITER
superlative, get il yourself.
Tennyson says, "Men are Gods trees
Yes, and some of them are very shady.
A man may successfully paint the town
red, but when aiterward he has a brush
with policeman he loses color
why do pugilisis marry ?" asks an
exchange. Well we suppose they must
have somebody to practice ON. Boston
Courier.
desertcr from Fort Lowell, Arizona,
told the court-mnrtial that che had rather
be coward all his life than corpse for
minute"
The mail carrier between Lenoir, Tenn.
and Stratford, N. O., now in his SD year,
is said to have carried the mail ON that
route every day for the last 20 years
When Clara was asked what she would
do If a nice young gentleman asked her
hand in marriage, she naively replied II
really don't think I'd no"
"At the wedding of the princes Beatrice
the Queen will give away her daughter. +"
Once in while the Queen gets generous
Ms well as any one else. Boston Post.
George; Yes, take up my violin for
my own amusement occasionally, but |
never play before company" Tom /:
THANK you, my dear fellow thank you,
thank you!"
You may speak" said fond mother,
about people having strength of mind,
but when 1t comes to strength of don't
mind, my son William surpasses every
body ever knew"
''lf you want to see things hum with
out belt slipping" writes Bill Nye.
excite woman's curiosity and be slow
to crafty it. The way she scratches for
pay dirt makes ordinary energy look
lazy"
A woman who was called as u witness
in an assault case tried in the court re-
Gently, on being asked by the magistrate
what was the profession of her husband,
answered very promptly. My husband is
bankrupt, sir. Exchange.
PA, who was Shylock?" Pater-
familias with a look of surprise and
horror); Great goodness, boy, you at
tend church and Sunday school every
week, and don't know who Shylock was
Go and read your Bible, sir. d"
Says Marquette druggist in an adyer-
tisement Attention, roller-skaters
We carry full line of plasters, lint, ban
dages, linaments, ointments, &c, for the
relief of sprains and bruises, while our
corn cure will help your feet. " Albaay
Times.
The Boston 0wl-.Do you know that
there is great difference between the
country owl and the Boston Owl ~
NO" well, there is the uncultured
nd tpNF, H. :
but the cultured one saws tn whit tn
whom. 'n-B0stOn Budget
Mary Ann and the Venus of Toll. =
Mistress TO new housenaid We'll,
Mary, what is it ?" Mary "Oh. this
sculpcher, mum | hope you know it's
broke, mum | didn't do it. 1t must
have been the cat or someihink Finn.
Pats way out of the diffculty--"An'
sure, Moike, me boy, phnt's this about
Freedom of Worship in the House OF
Refugee Faith, man. there's no chance
there for the Catholics at all at all The
Professionals have the place under their
thumb intoirely.' AN is that so Sorn
wan of my childer do liver sind there
thin !"--Harper'S Bdzor.
A little 4-year-older: Mamma. WHY
do people wear spectacles 2" Because
their eyes are not good" why are they
not good ~ Because they are born so. =
what is born z" why. God make,
them SO they cannot see WE'LL" well
why don't God make them with spectacles
then ?" The mother had a call in another
part of the house Just then Boston Gam
mORWedlh.
In the town of Warwick, in Rhode
Island, is boulder so poised on another
rock that person standing on it can rock
1t from side to side When il is rocked {
dull booming sound is given out which
can be heard for miles over the countr,
on still night. A legend says that ii
this manner the Indians were accustomed
to summon their warriors to council n
this place.
Theodore Barriere once contemplated
suicide. He had loaded pistol, and sen
for friend to impart to him his las
wishes. The friend came and made no
the slightest attempt TO turn him from
his purpose, but sat down and COOL,
wrote out his instructions. Now, Will
Barrlere was writing last farewell
epistle, his friend carelessly took up til,
pistol, which was at full cock, examined
it, and pointed it at the writer. Th
latter ut once slipped under the tabl
with marvellous agility, and shouted
Great heavens be careful! That thin,
is loaded !" The extreme oddity of tn
situation provoked irresistible mirth
which cured Barriere OF his morbid ten
dency.
Dawny Campbell went TO build smal
clubhouse of brick. After the usUa
fashion of bricklayers he wrought iron
the inside, and, having the material clos
beside him, the walls were rising fns
when dinner time arrived, and with il hi
son Jock, who brought his fathers dinner
With honest pride in his eye Dawne,
looked at Jock over the wall ON which Ii
was engaged and asked, Hoo dive thin
I'm gettin' on n Famous, fether bu
hoo dae ye get DOT I ye'ye forgot til
door, One look around him Shove,
DANNY that his son was right but. look
ing kindly at him he said Man. Jock
you've got gran held on ye yen be ii
architect yet as shar's yer fathers
mason. = Glasgow E'eeaiag Times
What sort of lady is she who send
me this card ~ inquired Congressman
Finerty, glancing nervously at the bit q
enameled pasteboard "A tall and hand
some young woman, sir replied Tia
page HAS she large blue eyes il straigh
nose, ripe pointing lips and wealth q
dark brown tresses:" asked the states
manly dynamiter. Il don't remember.
answered the page With II sort of Joa
d Arc or Charlotte Corday cxpressio
upon her mobile features continue
the honorable Finerty, Really. can
say" And did You observe tho stock I
Queen Anne musket protiuding fror
her pocket y Upon my word don
know what you mean, sir | suspcC
you'd better take the card 10 Mr.. Robin
SON." said the Fenian leader # prefc
that all experiments should be made o
him. I've a decp-seated conviction Tia
have no ambition to he CIT of in iii
flower of my youth. Cbicago Mars.