Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1885-01-08
CHArF OPTuB EXCHANGES.

Il am smarter than the detectives
said a broker, as he complacently eyed
himself in the mirror. Il can always
find rogue"
A bit of ancient history: What a
fine, open countcnancc you have p said
Jonah, when he was introduced to the
whale"
An Albany girl has three tongues.
Nature never made a mistake. She
knows an Albany girl would never get
through talking with one.
If the New York papers keep on
"cutting rates" by and by the govern
-aent will have to issue coin with which
people can buy New York paper. If
it is made small enough it con also be
used for foreign missions and other char
itics.
A country editor who had not received
a letter before for ten days happened to
get two the same day, recently, where
upon he wrote halfcolumn editorial on
the great increase Of business in the pos
tai department consequent upon the re-
duction of two cents
A man going home late the other
night saw a bayonct in the neon and in
mediately predicted war. His predic-
ton was suddenly verified, for rs soon as
he reached home his wife remarked
Drunk again, eh? and then the war
commenced. 1t was short, sharp and
decisive.
No charge il made for the suggestion
that tho paper car wheel men ought to
uso nothing but South American news
papers in the business these papers arc
50 thoroughly familiar with revolutions
as to require no preparation in converting
into a first class wheel.
Dennis" asked the Colonel, "when
can | see your" "Yc can see me now
yer honor" ~ want to talk business to
you. When will you be at home ?"
"Whin l get there, sor." II want to
see If sc cannot make arrangements by
which you can pay me-" "In that eyint,
sor, Oh won't be there until sometime af.
forwards"
| The singer and the mule: A prima
donna once held conversation with a
mule, and, falling into dispute, the
mule viciously cried "You cannot sing
half aslwell as l." "That may be true"
replied the prima donna; "but you can,
not kick as | can" Overcome by the
truth of this argument, the mule lapsed
into narrowing silence.
"Oh, yes" said the eldest Miss Cul.
ture, at table d'hote the other evening.
IL breakfasted yesterday with Miss Balm.
weight, and we enjoyed delicious repast
excellent coffee, superior bread and
piscatorial globes, done admirably.
"What p asked her friend. "Piscatorial
globes" repeated the Boston maiden.
"And what under the sun are they p
81 believe" said Miss Culture, drawing
herself up stiiily--"I believe uucultured
people call themselves fish balls"
One of the first questions the Princess
of Wales asked Mary Anderson, was,
"Wherc is Kentucky ?" Like the good
girl she is, Mary promptly informed her
that Kentucky was bounded on the
north by the Ohio river, on the west by
the Mississippi, on the east by Henry
Watterson and on the south by 10000
Democratic majority. The Princess ma.
lively confessed that she had never heard
OF the Ohio and Mississippi, but had fire.
quently noticed Henry Watterson on the
maps.
Il sec you are growing a moustache,
George said she as she caressed the
lapel Of his coat "Ye-es" stammered
George, blushing furiously. Il am
traying to cultivate one, Arabella. J."
"Dont it feel funny on your lip ?" she
asked. swell, no." he laughed, regain
ing his composure; sit seems to DO quite
natural. II wonder how one would
feel on my lip" she said, with far.awav
absent look in her eyes. "You needn't
wonder long then" said George, as he
'ent down. ooh you forward thing Y
he exclaimed; "Tve good mind to
make you take that back again" And
lc did.
The warden of the Montana peniten.
ary, at Stony Mountain, near Winnipeg,
as fine herd of hybrid cattle, crossed
etween the male buili,io and ii Q domes-
COW. They are very tame.l 4 hardy
II h.a,uy hou,,J l,,... II '