The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1885-01-17
HUSBANDS TRICK.

GU see, Martha got IN the habit of
sitting up for me at an early age, and
she can't break it off. | couldn't per-
suade her to 60 to bed and mind her
own business, 30 l studied on the mat
ter. We live in one of the centre houses
of block of five-story- and attic build
ings. There's scuttles in the roofs of all
them, and l persuaded Mr.. Greeuup,
who lives in the adjoining house, to let
me in his house last mig hit about O'Clock
and went up through his scuttle and
over to mine, and so down into our bed
room. 1 could see Martha, from the
head Of the stairs, sitting in the front
room cycling the clock with look that
was very chrome. But l undressed
and quietly got in bed, and there l lay
waiting developments. Every now and
then I'd hear Martha give short, fidg-
ETY. cough. Then I'd hear her get up and
prance around the room little, and by
and by 60 to the front windows and slam
the shutters.
AFTER Id lain there about an hour l
heard her get up and 60 stand out on the
front door steps for good five minutes.
Then she came in and slammed the door
and locked it aud commenced coming up
stairs. Every other step she'd say: "Oh
the wretch, won't give it to him! | know
whore he is! know where he is. He
needn't think to deceive me! Oh, the
william" Bout the time she had nearly
got to the landing think she must have
seen the lightning streaming out Of the
door that I'd left open. l could hear
her stop, and then l commenced to
snors. l was afraid to look, you know,
but l coulo feel her cautiously como up
to the door and look in. Well, sir, I'd
have given my pension from the war of
IT'S to have seen her about the time she
saw it was me. I'll bet it was fun. But
was afraid to do anything but sncre.
Then she came into my room, and, by
the way she breathsd and stood around
l had to nearly bite my tongue off to
keep straight face on me. could feel
that she sat down in chair, and was
dumb-founded. l never let on, but kept
on snoring like thunder; but when she
kicked over chair l turned and pre-
tended to wake up, kind of dazed like,
and says:
Why, Martha, dear, amt you come
to bed yet?'
'Jarphly, said she, awful slow and
solemn like, when did you come imp
"'Why, must be four or five hours
ago. Don't you remem Der when 1 told
you not to 60 to sleep again in the rock
or, but to come up to bed?' and l turned
over and professod to SO to sleep again
"She never made any reply, but acted
in oazed, bewildered sort Of way, and
when she got to bed l could tell she
didn't sleep wink for three hours.
This morsing iG was fun to watch
Martha. l could hardly keep straight
face. At the breakfast table, and all
the time l was about the house, she'd
eye me when she thought l wasn't look
ing; then, when I'd notice her, she'd
turn away and be awfully busy at some
thing. She caught me kind of gripning
once, and, by George, thought the ex-
plosion was about to come. But it
didn't though the look Of blank, un-
fathomable suspicion she wore on her
face all the time was the greatest show
on earth. 1t nearly broke me up, and
I've laughed till my ribs ache ever since.
l know it won't last. l know there's q
day of repsnting coming, and the Their
mometer is going up clear out of sight
in the Jarphly family. But who's going
after trouble? It'll come soon enough
without hunting it, and I'm going to en-
JOY that scuttle in the roof until the ex-
plosion comes. - Chicago Tribune.