davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25
POETRY.
HE NEVER KNoWED.

Old Bill B. was pious man,
And heaven was his goal;
For, being a very saving man,
Of course, he ID saved his soul.
But, even in this, he used to say,
One can t too careful be;'
And he sang with fervor unassumed.
I'm glad salvation's free.n
But the merits of grace, he had to own,
Required good, hard-earned gold
And he took ten pews, as well became
The richest of the fold & 1875
He s noble man p the preacher cried.
:" OurChristian Brother BIZ a H
And Billy smiled as he sublet nine.
And got his own pew free. e1,ias aa0g
In class meeting next, old Billy told
How heaven had gracious been,
Yea, even back in the dark days when
He was a man of sin.
was buildin "a barn on my river farm
All / then had, = he said
I'D run ont o. boards, a. was feedin
hands,
On nothin' but corn bread.
Il tell We, brethren. that I felt blue,
Short o. timber and cash,
And thought I'd die when the banks
tueu UuSt,
And flooded all my mash.
But the Lord was merciful to me,
And sent right through the rift
The tide had made in the river banks
A lumber raft adrift.
6 Plenty o. boards was there for the barn,
And on top was cheese,
And bar'l o. pork as sound and sweet
AS anyone ever sees.-
Then had bread and meat for the men,
And they worked with will,
While thanked God, who d been SO good
to me,
And I'm doin it STILL
A shrill-voiced sister cried Bless the
Lordw
The whole class cried '.Amen ~
But keen-eyed man looked at Billy B.
In thoughtful way, and then
Asked, Brother b, did you ever hear
Who lost that raft and load -
And Billy wiped his eyes and said,
: Bretherin'. l never knowed -
Boston EUeniilq Gazette.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25

The lady of the house was a hand
some woman OF mature order of
beauty, and when she had complet.
ed her toilet she gazed fondly at heI-
self in the glass, and remarked to her
maid: !" You'd give a good deal to be
as good looking asI am, wouldn't you,
now ?" " Yes'm almost as much rs
you would give to be rs young as ]
ann 1t is not believed that this
epigrammatic young woman will be
chosen again at the expiration other
present term.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25
traitor.

traitor.
al will not speak to you, sir !
said, until | have spoken to her.
And / took her HWY white hand and
led her home.
Then we talked as we should
have talked before -and when our
talk was done we knew him. lie
loved her for her pretty face, and be
would have married me for my
money knowing he had her heart.
asMarry him II. you win Efiie,'
said r. .asstsas sSgS~ ses ss
"But l was sonyeE had said if.
We knew each other too vell-one
could not love man who had been
traitor to the other.
.sAt the close Of the day we stood
at our window and watched him go.
He passed down the road with his
head bent on his breast. The sun
was sinking-his shadow lay long be-
hind him-after it a small, dark ob.
ject glided. We both saw it, Efiie
and l.
asThere is the Douglass wee
doggie following him away SAID Il;
.he has taken harm as well as brought
-
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25
SELECTIONS.
THE ATTACHMENT.

"Baxp'
Baxter Jones, called "Bax," for
short, was Squire Syphax's Office
clerk.
"Yes, SIR" answered Bax.
"Fill me out a writ of attachment
said the squire. "Fll stand no more
Of this nonsense
"YeS, sir-whaJ name, sir ~
you'll find it there,0 said the
squire, writing on a card, tossing it
over to Bax, who pickedit up and
set about his work. The document
was speedily finished and presented
to the squire, who affixed his sigma
ture.
"Give it to Constable Darby and
tell him to serve it without delay,u
added the squire.
ayes, sir"
"And when he brings in his prison
er, report to me-"
" Yes, sir"
Squire Syphax, magisterially, was
the sternest of men; individually he
was the most soft hearted and yield
ing.
For the moment he was filled with
official Indignation toward delin-
quent, on whom, for some contempt.
uOus disregard of the LAWS behest,
he was determined to visit his weight
lest penalty. He was still feeble
from recent and severe attack of
illness, and while waiting the return
Of the warrant, he retired to seek a
little rest, meanwhile forgetting the
cares of office in a delicious revery,
of which the charms of certain
lovely creature were the central feat
ure. In this occupation let us leave
him for the present, merely premls-
ing that he was a bachelor, both diff.
dent and susceptible.
Bob Darby was a constabulary
model. He did his duty to the letter
and expended few words about it..
When the servant came in answer
to his ring of Widow Goodheart's
door bell.
SIS your mistress at home ?" Bob
inquired.
She s,"-was the response.
"Tell her must see her. said
Bob.
ashes very busy" replied the
maid, sand unless the business is
very particular"
1t is very particular" interrupt
Ell Bob, brushing past and entering
without ceremony. "I'm VERY sor-
~ to Inconvenience you, num-" he
said, when Mrs. Go0dheart had made
her appearance; "bnt I've got to
take you over to the squire's right
away"
The widow turned pale and trem.
bled.
Has the dear man-has he had
a relapse ~ she asked in a tremu.
lous tone.
"Couldn't tell. num- answered
Bob, all | know is, it's case OF
'tachment.n
"a case of attachment y exclaim
ed the widow, the color mounting to
her handsome face.
Il shall be ready in a moment
cried the widow, and so indeed she
was.
"There's a kerridge at the door
num- said Bob, and when he had
handed the lady in, nothing more
was said till they reached the squire's
door.
That fnnctionary, like many coun
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25

They were trying to raise money
to pay off the indebtedness of the
church.
Deacon" Have you called on old
Mr.. Moneybags yetfr
Minister" No. He is very sick,
and thought | would wait until he
gets better"
Deacon Earnestly" Don't you
wait minute. Strike him while he
is very sick. 1t will be too late when
he is better.p-San.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25
" Wonderful Efficacy

Some people are slow In telling what
good things have been done. for them,
but Mr.. John P. DAILY, of Gillisonville, S.
c., says he takes great pleasure in testi-
flying to the wonderful efficacy of Brown g
Iron Bitters in dyspepsia, fever and ague,
and general debility of the system. He
has personally experienced the most sat
isfactory results from the use of this
valuable medicine. Make memoran-
dunn of this, all ye whose systems are
run down. Browns Iron Bitters will
cure YOU.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25

" Buckle my shoe, Ebgert DEAR"
said Chicago belle to her near
sighted fiance. Ebgert went down
on his knees like q true knight, but
as he had lost hiseye- glass his vision
was little uncertain. is this your
foot, darlings" he inquired. "You
bet" she said. "Aw, pawdon, II
thought it was the lounge" Ebgert
Is now disengaged.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25

Young man" Your daughter
has referred me to yon, sir" Old
man" All right you have my con
sent. LIS that all you want ~ Young
man" WelI-er--one thing more I
would like to ask, sir. RI should
present your daughter with di-
amond engagement ring would you
be willing to-er give me a receipt
for it in case anything unpleasant
should happen 7"
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25
POINT Pr,EAgANT. ~. vA.nril

POINT PLEASANT, w. VA April IL.
About four miles below this town
there has been living an old woman
called Granny Galloway, with two
grandchildren, girls, about eight or
ten years old. Forseveral days past
no smoke has been seen coming from
the chimney. The leighbors finally
forced the door yesterday and found
the old woman and twochildren dead
in bed aud partly gnawed by rats.
The bodies were much emaciated.
and the three had evidently starved
and frozen to death during the last
cold spall.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25

Little Dick Us yon going to be
my new brother :" Mr.. De Rich
accepted sslitorl-" Yes, my little
fellow" " You IL goln' to get hitch
ed to my sister, amt yon ~ "Your
lovely sister and ere long will be
united in the holy bonds of matri-
mony." I'D like to see 'em.r "See
whati" "The bonds. Sister has
been BLOWN about how many you
have to everybody what comes.r
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25
Miscellaneous.
DYSPEPSIA.

Sedentary habits, mental worrysneryous
excitement, excess or imprudeneas In eat
ing or drinking, and various other causes.
induce Constipation followed by general
Infringement of the liver, kidneys, and
stomach, in which the disorder of each
orgaMinercases the infrrnity OF the others.
Ii.c iiinne diate results are Loss of Appc-
tife, Eai,sea, Foul Breath, Heartburn, Flat
nienee. Dizziness, Sick Headaches, failure
OF physical and mental yigor. distressing
(. sense OK weigl isald fullness III the stomach,
aud inefpasa.d Costiycness, all OF which are
Known aasssr one head as dyspepsia.
49, III every iasf.;nce Mheratifis disease does
not tnieiIi!.e from sagofi,lotls faint IN the
blood. AYERS PILLS may be confidently
-rcila, upon 10 effect 4 eIire. Those eases
hot asi,;ible TO tho curative influence of
AYERS PILLS alone will certainly yicldif
the PILLS are said,,d hy HE powerful blood
piFiisi:l ,nt.i'iis.s OF itfER's s sRsaPA-
RalId.
l)ysprptirs should knew that the lo,iscr
treatment of their lAalady is postponed,
the more difficult of cure it becomes.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25

try magistrates, kept his Office at
his house. and into the apartment so
appropriated the widow was at once
ushered.
Bob Darby, having duly signed
the return upon the writ, handed it
over to the sources clerk, who pro-
ceeded straightway to notify his
honor.
Asthe latter entered he started with
surprise. Instead Of the contempt
nous culprit Dick Slote, at whose
guilty head he was prepared to hurl
the laws anathemas, was the lovely
Widow Goodheart, the angel Of bis
dreams, whom he saw before him
In the name of all the Dromios, what
diabolical error was this :!
Catching up the returned warrant,
to his horror he read:
ITO any constable, greeting: You
are hereby commanded to take the
body of Dorothy Goodheart and
bring the same forthwith before me,
ETC., etc.
sCALEB SYPHAx, j. p"
Darling a look of wrath at the
clerk and the constable, he ordered
them to withdraw.
any dear Mrs. Goodheart," began
the squire, blushing to the tips Of
his ears, chow can / atone for this
annoyance 7"
"Oh, it's no annoyance, l assure
you," simpered the widow. "Im so
glad to find you are not ILL.,"
But-but this unfortunate attach
ment,n stammered the squire, dash
ing aside the ill-starred document.
ell have long returned it,
naively murmured the widow, turn.
ing as red as himself.
A CLEAN of gladness flashed over
the squire's countenance. Could il
be she was ignorant of the indignity
she had sufferedg And then, to find
the ice so happily broken. He clasp
ed her hand, pressed it to his lips,
and poured out the tale of his pent-up
love with an ardo and eloquence
which fairly astonished himself. The
widows pretty head dropped on his
shoulder as, with alternate smiles
and tears, she listened rapturously
to what she had so long been waiting
to hear.
The squire came back a happy
man from escorting the widow home
that evening. But the sight of BaS
Jones aroused his fury.
GLOW dare you play me such q
trick ?" he Numbered.
"What trick ~ inquired Bax, limo
Gently.
"What trick why, putting Mrs
Goodheart's name in that attach
ment p
81 put in the name you gave me-
answered Bax.
/" It's false ~ reared the squire.
"Here's the card" rejoined the
clerk.
The squire glanced at it. 1t was
one of Mrs. Goodheart's cards, lef
with some delicacy which she ha(
sent during his late illness.
On the blank side he had inviting
ly written the name to be inserted
in the writ. Whether the clerk hat
copied from the wrong side by mis-
take, or had played off practica
Joke was not quite clear to thu
sources mind, for Bax, in point o
gravity, fell far short of his distin
guished namesake, the anthor o
"Saints' Rest"
However, in view of the happy is
sue and Bax's earnest profession
of innocence, he was finally let off
but with a caution both to him ant
Bob Darby never to mention tn
affair under the penalty of the squire
hot displeasure.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25

Love is che most dunderhearted
Of NIL the passion it win never will
listen to reason. Theyery rudiments
Of logic are unknown to it.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25
EGGS & CHICKENS FOR SALE

Plymouth Rock Eggs and Chickens for
sale, also Langshan eggs and Brown S
Turkey and Goose eggs. Pure breed
Poultry. Terms very reasonable. Call
ON or address MRS. MENDENHALL,
High Street. Martinsburg, w. Va.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25


In thinking over your pur-
chace of the past and the place
where you got the most value
for your money will most likely
be paramount with you, and to
our patrons we would say we
shall make this our chief aim in
the future as it has been in the
past, and we cordially invite all
to call upon us and compare our
goods and prices.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25
Ayers Pills

0y OA > x A1S
Never fail to relieve The bowels and pro-
mote their healthful and regular action,
and thus cure Dyspepsia. Temporary
palliatiycs all do permanent harm. The
fitful activity into which the cnfeeblcd
stomach is spurred by "bitters," and ;ilco-
holic stimulants, Is inevitably followed
by reaction that leaves the organ weaker
than before.
"Costiveness. induced by my sedentary
habits OF life, became chronic; AYERS PILLS
afforded me speedy relief. Their occasional use
has since kept me all right Hermann BRING.
HoyJ. Ne,rork. M
81 was induced to try AYERS PILLS As a
remedy for Indigestion, Constipation. and
Headache, from which had long been a suf.
fercr. / found their action easy, and obtained
prompt relief. They have benefited me more
than all the medicines ever before tried" NV.
WATSON. 162 State ST., Chicago, III.
"rhey have entirely corrected the costiye
habit, and vastly improved my general health"
REV. FRANCIS b. HARLowE, Atlanta, Ga.
''The most effective and the easiest physic
have ever found. One dose will quickly move
my bowels and Tree my head from pain" W.. /.
PAGE. Richmond, ia.
"a sufferer from Liver Complaint. Dys-
pepsia,' and Neuralgia for the last twenty
years, AYERS PILLS have benefited me more
than any medicine l have ever taken" 7. r.
RoGERs, Needn,ore. BroUa Co, Ind.
"For Dyspepsia they are invaluable" J. r.
HAYES, Ke1id, 1e1ds.
AYERS PILLS,
PREPARED by
DIR. j. c. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by ri! Druggists.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-04-25

Va, SATURDAY, APRIL s25, 1885.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-04-12
ethT. Charles

med on tie catechism the better. Charles
listened duiefuiiy.
Ii WAS late at night when the stage
reached Lancaster. and in the morning
Young Brown hied himself to the Office.
The force" consisted of a journey man
and an apprentice named Smith. They
received him solemnly. The journey
Man handed him Bible and made him
read chapter, after which he was exam
med on the catechism. His ignorance
was severely commented upon, but he
Nas permitted to 90 TO work. At nOos
4 similar performance was enacted, while
intense gloom rested on the Office during
the day. The next morning Charles
went TO the Office resolved 10 run away
at the end of the week, but on looking
about failed TO find his fellow craftsmen.
Further search revealed them under the
garrett stairs too intoxicated TO walk.
Young Brown was so angry over the sell
that he wrote a note TO the driver threat
euing vengeance, which was never car
ried out.
Browns fame as a humorist was a sur
prise to all who knew him, and even to
himself. A greater surprise 70 bis kins-
folk now Is the interest still manifested
in the dead merrymaker and his work.
They thought that all the attention
would cease with bis life, but every year
the number of people who visit Water
ford increases.
The town has changed but little since
his time. The village green, about which
he wrote and loved to think. is as green
and pretty az ever. The old Brown home
stead is still one of the best in town, aud
the tide of summer travel troubles the
quiet streets but little.
Browns remains are buried in Elmvale
Cemetery, near the old Emerson place.
The grave is marked with a plain slab,
much neglected At the time of his bu.
rial some of his literary friends proposed
getting up monument, and did pass
resolutions TO that effect. The mOuu-
ment, though much needed, has nevef
appeared. A copy of the resolutions was,
however, sent to the grateful relatives.
As usual, in such cases, all the villagers
looked with much suspicion on the re-
ports of Charles successes. Had they not
always known him as tow headed, mis-
chievous lad, whose future they disliked
TO predict. But now the line engraved
upon his tombstone seems to be true
wherever "a Wards" sayings are known:
His memory shall remain q sweet and
unfading recollection"
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-04-12
GOssips anu UsossipIne.
lChioago EyeJ

We all know bow difficult il is to mar
rate the simplest fact as it actually occur.
red, or to repeat the plainest story as it
was told to us. For the most part, we
round off our pictures with fancy touches
thrown in for light and color and more
harmonious rendering--not 10 do mischief
but to satisfy the artistic instinct; and
the consequence is that we create an i'm
preston ON the mind of the nearer. de,
this nearer, repeating, adds fancy touches
81 bis side; and the process is repeated
till the actual fact gets lost in a fog of
false rendering, wherin nothing is true
but the instinct of fluid talk By which it
has been propagated.
But the fact of this certain inaccurac,
IF repetition has no curbiug power on the
gossip who retails the story; and, when
be is brought to book on the charge of
spreading false reports and bearing his
part in shying stones at his neighbors'
houses, answers demurely, Il did not
mean to do any harm; only told SO and
so to Mrs. This and That, and she had no
business to repeat itw
This only telling so and so is just the
whole burden of the mischief Mrs. This
and That is as great a gossip as himself
as much of sieve; and when two sleeves
are put together to hold water, how much
will be left for thirsty soul to drink by
the end of a summers day.
And again, Mrs. This and That's prom
Use to secresy is no valid plea for con-
donation. The thing we cannot keep fOt
ourselves we have no right to expect 9TH
ers will keep for us. and we only play
monkey tricks with oEr conscience when
we pretend to believe that every one else
is more trust worthy than ourselves.
Grim experience tells US that gossip is
never kept, how sacred soever the prom.
Use, and no methods have been as yet
invented which can paddock the wagging
tongue and check that fluid speech which
is worse than the letting out of many
waters We know that we have simply
ensured translation and passing it on
with additions, when we gossip to our
friends under promise of silence, and that
we have been sowing seeds of evil where
of no man can fore tell he ultimate dead.
lv growth
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-04-12
ECCENTRIC cH.s.o,xnN.
Juveniles Who Are head About But
Never Seen i'm Real Life.


The boy who likes SUNDAY.
The boy who is as pretty as he does.
The child who is seen and not heard.
The girl who wouldn't rather be boy.
The boy who likes to be called .Bub."
The boy who only speaks when he is
spoken to.
The boy who minds his mother as well
as his father.
The boy who wouldn't rather 90 skat-
ing then be an angel.
The boy who prefers his sister to some
other boys sister.
The boy who goes TO Sundy-school be-
cause he enjoys it.
The boy who wouldn't rather wear
boots than be president.
The boy who eats what is set before
him, and asks no questions.
The boy who wouldn't rather be Jesse
James than George Washington.
The boy, however homely, saucy,
naughty, noisy, troublesome and disagree
able he may be, who isn't sweeter and
dearer and more precious to his mother
than any other child in the world.
The boy who doesn't walk in the gut
ter when there Is any water in it, who
doesn't steal rides on street ears, run
away from school and play marbles "for
keeps" when he is well enough to be out
doors.
The little boy who keeps his clothes
clean, stays in the house on Saturday and
studies his Sunday-school lesson, plays
with the girls, knows how to dance, and
always minds his parents, and knows
enough to come In when it rains.
Oh, what would the world be without
"hovslp
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-04-12
A wife,s Practical Joke.
burlington Hawkeyel

A Burlington man recently welded
young wife. The lady became enthused
over Will Carleton's tale of the elope-
ment of handsome young woman with
handsome man." and determined to
sry the same thing herself. She wrote
neat little note, stating that she had
left home with gentleman whom she
had dearly loved before she had met her
husband, and that he need not trouble
himself to look for them.
Then she called in beryOunger brother
and went calling with him, arranging to
return and hide where she could witness
her liege lords dismay when he came to
read of her flight She from her place
of concealment saw him enter, saw him
look all around In surprise at her absence,
and finally sa W him discover the note.
He opened and read it, while her heart
beat high with excitement in anticipa-
ton of the breaking out she expected to
hear
The poor fellow finished the cruel mis-
sive, tore it up and threw the fragments
on the floor, and then, without mo-
ments warning, drew a revolver and
fired point blank at his breast, and fell
without a sign of life to the carpet.
With terrified scream the woman
was at her husbands side in a moment,
lifting his head, rolling him, shaking
him, turning him, and hunting for blood,
all the time shrieking for her William
to speak to her, to forgive her, to only
look at her. William lay motionless
however, and the neighborhoOd, aroused
by the shot and screams, came focking
in to learn of the excitement, when sud
denly, when score or more had gath
cred, the dead leaped up from the floor
as well as ever, at which the wife tainted
away. She soon revived, however, and
then it all came cut that the younger
brother, being in sympathy with Will
liam, had let him into the scheme, and
he had chosen that mode of Furnishing
his joking wife. She jokes no more, but
her husband has compromised on pony
phaton to keep peace In the family.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-04-12
The Origin of Roller skates.

In view of the fact that roller skating
has played such havoc with theater pat
ronage, it will be interesting to the stage
profession to know that it was out of the
demand for stage effects that roller skat-
ing was invented. A Mr.. Kobbe writes
to the French press to say:
81 am told by Herr Hook, the stage
manager of the Metropolitan Opera
House, that all who enjoy roller-skating
are indebted for their sport to the famous
composer, Meyerbeer.
When his opera The Prophet was pro-
duced in Paris it was almost decided at
one time to cut out the skating scene in
the third act, as the manager saw no way
OF converting the stage into a sheet of ice.
In this crisis an ingenious stage hand
came forward and suggested that ordi-
nary skates might be placed on wheels.
The Grand Opera House at Paris, there
fore, was the first roller-skating rink the
world has known"