davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-08
A DEAR BIT OF IRON.
Rev. Robert Collyer Makes q Horse Shoe, Now
Valued at One Thousand Dollars.

Mr.. Collyer gave his lecture on Clear Grit
in November of 1871, at Ithaca, n Y, in the
Cornell University Lecture Course clearing
81 obs, every dollar of which went to the suf-
ferers from the Chicago and Michigan fires. The
only condition imposed upon him was that he
should present the university with horseshoe
made by his own hand. This he struck
out-as shapely 6. piece of work as
the lecture itself--the same week, at
the blacksmith shop on the corner
of Division and Clark streets, Chicago, and it
now is kept as an omen of good luck on Presi-
dent Whites table at Cornell. Mr.. Collyer says
no horseshoe ever sold for so good price or
purpose before
Mr.. Colyer has several books aAoat-mainly
collections of his Chicago lectures and sermons
viz: 'Man in Earnest, Simple Truths, 1.-THE
Life that Now Is" and Mature and Life" The
writer of these notes remarked t@him that
several of his old sermons were in couple of
bound volumes Of the defunct Lakeside Monthly.
of Chicago-lS67-70 Mr.. Collyer immediately
requested that they be copied out at his expense
and sent to him at New York SO that they might
be reyamped into nSw sermons.
Mr.. Coliyer wGS always very genial and free
with his church people at Chicago even men
toning them from his pulpit to ATTEND a dona-
ton and surprise party, to be given at his
house and to himself. the following week.
He said they told his wife so that she would
have the house ready and the children and him
self at home, and ''of course as soon as Mr..
Collyer got hold Of it, it went everywhere" He
wanted them fall to come and bring the chill
dren'
He was a very warm friend Of the lamented
Professor Herbert Copeland of Indianapolis,
who died from the effects of exposure, incurred
while collecting fishes with DR.. d. S. jordan, in
the White river Dec. 1876. Professor Copeland
was member of Mr. Collyers church, and was
teaching lin the woods" just north of
Chicago, at Ravenswood Here Mr.. Collyer
used to drop into Copelands study for an hour
and read the science papers and books-or more
likely 60 to sleep for an hour. Sometimes he
would come and go without speaking, so friend
ly and familiar were the naturalist and
preacher.
Poor Copeland died only just in the bud. He
is remembered by many in Indianapolis Who
never heard the brightest word of his spoken
when he was class essayist in 1871, at Cornell
University! II am proud of but one Copeland-a
negro who died with John Brown at Harper's
Ferry
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-08
A Tomb Opened by q Tree.


Very near where we live is the ancient Carton
Church, in a large cemetery. In this GENE
terry is "a most curious monument A lady died
and report says that she was poisoned by her
nephew. Upon one of the stones which mark
her grave is an inscription declaring that ''this
grave should not be opened until eternity"
Now nature would not allow herself to be thus
defed, and a very large tree has grown UP from
the center of the grave and forced every stone
out Of its proper place Three immense blocks
of granite fastened together by the strongest
iron clamps, form the foundation, upon which
rest three other blocks, surmounted by single
block, over which is carved stone pail. The
trees roots have risen up from under the stones
and formed long claws, which seem instinct with
life and grasp the stones as if with "A death like
grip, bursting every clamp and twisting the
stones and turning them on one side and another
in most curious and wonderful manner. \
most curious feature, too, is the fact that there
is not another tree of this kind in the cemetery
and not even in the whole town.
Here Clothes Lolita is buried. Her grandson
lives in Hanover and is wealthy bachelor. He
proposes to erect a suitable building in which to
place his valuable collection of curios and then
present them to the town
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-08
A DISGRUNTLED DAG0.
An Italian Image-Vender Tells Reporter
of Some of His Troubles

''Ah you no Ikea de boy9-de buono boy
mocha good-looka we'll in de parloir-vera
cheap-vera cheap! MOI Peste! Will sell-a
whole lot twenta-f cents!" Thus warbled
Giacomo-he of the black brows and breath of
garlic-to tmid woman, who, with door ajar
and may negative answers, tried to get rid of the
enterprising Italian.
Giacomo arranged the many plaster statuettes
he carried on his arm, and came upon the side
walk.
What all have You got in your repertoire,
dear boy?" said q reporter, who had designs on a
virgin Cupid with bow-legs and coat of bronze
'Everating signor-but not-a here"-mur-
INJURED the yender deprecatingly
Sorry youshave noplaque-bas-reliefo of fruit
''Whera you live-a signor. You buyF Will sell "a
you arating, very cheap.
do you make these works of art yourself"
The Italian scratched his head, confused at
the extensive vocabulary of the reporter. He
had forgotten the acquaintance. 'Ah! All! Saints
simo! No these-a cum from Italy. We make
mooch money here-very pretty-no good Amer
cano."
'But, dear, gentle Giaeomo. I'm onto you. You
make this stuff away down on Virginia avenue
Not word" 'Non mi recordo! All yes! We do
make the image here you knowa, but de no sell-a
well. In Italy de good-a Catolc buy de Jesus,
de Santo, he put in de house-Americano want-a
no Santo-la madre-he cara for Venus--he
lika fun-he no hava casts"
The factory is locat ted on Virginia avenue, at
the residence of the Italian. 1t consists of a
back porch, two barrels of Spanish whiting, a
lot of plaster casts, chisels and a foot-latne
for sand -papering, and stiff brush and bronze
for finishing. The various statuettes and busts
vended in the streets are thus made, and the
cost ranges from four to six cents TO produce the
bronzed PLAGUE or figure
$50 trade is bad"
Vera bad, vera bad. You canua tell until
Excellenza Cleveland is President; den trade
good"
Eyes, you ought TO sell plenty of the Venus
then"
Il hope. Ah I hava de bad luck My brother
Pietro-you Gala him a Pete--he came over
three week ago. buy him-a vera beautiful hand
org" He shrugged his shoulders at the mem
DRY and rolled his eyes to the zenith "He play
a leetla waltz quickstep, Marcia,
two ballad, Trovatore. senda him
to Nashville with leetla monka
De monka name-Jock-he grin--so--and get
de nick. Pietro send-a Jock to dc lady in de
window-and play Trovatore--de lady pat de
Jocko-he run down inside-Ah! Dablo!-de
damn buil7dog-bite--Jock bite-Pete play-po-
liceman GOMEZ pay--Pietro here-fool.
The reporter, dropped nickel in his hand in
memory of Jocko.
''A vostro salute!' -
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-08

coat and fawn-colored trousers. And the coffee
served to US with four-and- twenty furclad
NorthernerS all in row-a position strongly sug-
gestive of the unhappy blackbirds of nursery
fame-the coffee was unspeakable. For the sake
of the experience we imbibed again, this time
taking the dark brown inspiration from the
wrinkled hand of another characteristic pillar
of the market, an old creole darby woman, who
embodied activity and crowned it with smile.
Her zz-zag mouth strayed happily across her
face. an ample nose fiattened down over it. but
her wonderfully soft dark eyes, lightened with
an irrepreSSible gayety, and her blue shawl and
knotted turban danced with eager service. while
soft CREOLE syliables fell thick and fast. The
as-jet overhead fiared across marvellous
chrome, the pride of her heart, illustrating the
intrepfdity of a couple of sanguinary militaires
in blue and red conformity disseeting an unfor
tunate PROSTATE DItchman. ''Ah eet ees beau
tiful; don't you tinkF she exclaimed rapturcusly,
seeing me tabulate her and her surroundings,
and imagining, poor soul, that | chronicled my
impressions of his masterpiece.
We stroed leisurely out defy anybody to
hurry in Louisiana-through the thinning crowd
OF gaily turbaned Dago women, softeyed, hard
mouthed creoles, black-browed Spaniards, volu-
BILE "Gascon" butchers, oratorical hucksters of
all sorts and large admiXture of fresh faced
commenting Northerners, and sauntered along
the great cotton levee The broad brown river
gistened in the sun, and her stately burden of
mast and sail gided from wharf to wharf a con-
stanty shifting panorama. Away out i'll the
misty distance rose the hull of the gallant Ga
lena, whose brilliantly buttoned officers have
been penetrating the usual havoc among sus-
ceptibe debutantes this winter Here are stud
les for the absorption of hours, but considera-
tions OF matutna refreshment more substan-
tial than the MarGuiss Mocha induce rs to depart,
and with one backward glance at the quaint old
place we turn our steps homeward, the wind
still hinging back to US in pleasant monotone,
"Achetez lei au bon marche." GARTH
NEW ORLEANS March s.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-08

the stranger had como from the other side.
There seemed to DO something strangely
familiar in tho mans features. He
hurried to the mine and let himself
down the rude ladders. Sure enough. what had
been impressed upon his mind a. few moments
before now had it's counterpart in reality. The
stranger looked up, started. and a mutual
cognition took place-it was his old school COM
panion. This friend had drifted to Australia
from England, and, associating with English
men, had hidden his nationality. By some
means or other the friends had never before met.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-08

blossoms have been killed and the fact that
next summer we viii have just as many
peaches as ever, leads to only one inference,
and that is that peaches don't grow on peach
trees,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-08
The European Plan.

New York Mail and Express.
Cooks in European-plan hotels are not magi.
clans, yet they can make from one meat stock
fourteen or fifteen different kinds of soup.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11

Henry W smith, lat" proprietor Of
Tho Anderson Furniture store
Nouh Third street, Waco, having cN
crutrd To me hi, general assignment
of all his property for the benefit o
all OF his creditors, now give notice
of my appointment, and having duly
qualified "A, such assignee. All cred
itors of said Henry W smith arr
hereby notified toprcsent their claims
Ny postollce j., Waco, McLcnnai
county. Texas.
j. T.. ANDERSON, Assignee
llENRY ". SMITH.
Waco. March 2, 1885,.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11

Asr--s7 I'D To- s 10 per duzrI-
IIu Plate g. 10 by %. ysr box, o. g. 10
b, 90 pen box 0J. Terue NHn per box 7.t'
lsru. SO hy 90 per hoR 400.
IuWarr-F.ooed. discount % Icrcent stamp.
td discount 51 per cent
-o.icf-No. D. I3c. SO Il and L, 100 per lo
Enotcf betting discount u prl cent sud 10
per cent
Na..--tun rae.
-loy..s amt spades Row Lamb b. discount 20
lor cents Amrs' hst steel g".i-, Discount 40
lnl ln per cent
HurIpufe--HHr iron g.. east steel 10 pillow
steel ~. spring steel 60. horse shIes. 49, hursc
unll- TO D. ~ Burden horse tAnes, b I'd
Wire-smooth wire SO. .. ~. Nps- no md DIT,
5t,c. lapapucd, barbed wire. $40. galsAui4ei
bashed tC painted barbed wire a..
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11

Oh the lady she puts ou the roller skates
over the fence 9, out
Aud into the may her way She takes
Edlying here and about
Oh. bu, She shonc TO whit ~ reel
on but she slung adi,y heel
on but you'd ought io heart uer s4ueal-
over the fence j. out
Quiyerel and ratified The chaulu.t
Laiher the afuica uu
All but tie silver, we're sharp and. re-
Where has The doctor gone
All but uot Joyous tacc WAsruu
fle thc uright night had scarce begun
Not for week can size have some fuu--
Iather thO AtuisH uu
Mcn'> fine shoes at sleeper. Clifton
X cos.
fuckers simple remedies gives the
best of satisfaction.
Best OF every thing kept by W. Il,
stills ~ Co.. grocers, Austin street
The oil mills have closed down for
| the season.
Ladies' fine shoes at Sleeper Clifton
IL Co.'S.
Wild geese are dying toward the
north.
DR. :. Il. Hamlet sells only the
purest and best drugs and medicines.
Fresh staple aud fancy groceries
tobaccos, CHECKERS, egg and country,
produce, at Duric& Bros.
The goods at the Anderson furni-
turc store are being closed out at
YOUR own prices. go there and see
Some thief raded Marshal NJ, ores
clothes line Monday night, and car
ried of several valuable articles
Look out for burglars, they are in
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11
r..-.... .l.r Roy. DE. WhinpIe

From the Rev. l)r. Wmpple
ArsrIN. Ten, Nov. 10, 1883.
Dr.. I.J g. 81 II Ioniin. .,...u., i, ro
Dear Nlr'-l ''Nr ''r,'9u,, HI;
rommondlnSNoUr Br""' NV II l'''''i'..''''
ana l'V"' uNl'' ti'.;,'.
thlnN u N9"'' =, 'o,,i,inni
T. We ",'''''' ,.,.in g.. .r,ninnli.h
lild. and Yet ccFtal" |" "'''''l ''''"
,rbot +. proposed 10y lis use.
''"' IT, j. W. WmprLE
r-,,, t,o Rev. Dr. ~hupard, super
,.. .'ui" Deaf and Dumb asylum:
Ar,nN. 1cN.. Mar. %. isSi
,.,. t..ru using rubin'- ilcpato-
.... ,a,htcrn months. ana nave
...,.-brn valuable med cine. SO
uucl 90 hat 20. soon ~ me ia't "''e
/. am Zone bottle. forthwith ! pro-
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11
Groceries.

Btcou-5hort cIear, s4c,
lIr- sHlf IHDutE-ShDrl clear a.
Ilsms-ll isHllt.c
N..s-srs- Laulslena new, 'J ~ ,jo Lp.lsiaug
s.rIp. nf.
ulhrc-FsiF ~ to i7c priue Rio. l2s tp
1876 choire Rio. l.t. nlfAm rcnborfy, 10 io
I!ouT-OrIiuary. per 10 lss, 20 to ~ fam
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11
COMMERCIAL,


GAiVEsroN. March 10 Tho fnlowiu2 is
the principal markets day sui She same late
~ u
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11

Mla,Eli ANEOrS
DONKn Two Mice laro furnished ,onm.
- with ur, mud duy board 'Hu Poe hrl W
i W BnuNNIH-. o.. Washington stree.
DOON- FOR REST Furnished WM 900
N furnished BOO JHr Wrbu.rn nulIiue
Austin avenue Good ventilation
\IONEY TO lE>p-ou approved security
" uu land $40 NcL.WW rud adjoining.
cuuuu So Vendors huduyn upte- le otul,i
Alply to LAStEluIN NI-uN, NNp'rI 'uili
LrNE EI',I pk AtE-llpH-e .tl f.NI Bots
i rurucrut Fifteenth and Wl-hus lu -i.
3iuuul- UuiI Hd ettrr work STUDIO, uui hu.
rN house. tu % dt-Iuh't loiehbuthnuI. u'
would cNchpurp for Aut u'W Waco Afr'
iu T. e. kirsWtrr.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11

lx-rurloN FOR the BLlNr.
AuauN. May 10. 1883.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-11

IlvEuuonG. March 10 Futures closed
duu with quotations same as saturday.
the following are the closing quotations;
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29
The Troubles of a Poet.

While Col. Bangs, editor of the
Bugle Blastings was sitting in his
office one day, man whose brow was
clothed with thunder entered. Fierce
ly seizing chair, he slammed his hat
on the table, hurled his umbrella on
the floor, and sat down.
care you the editori" he asked.
"Yes."
"Can you read writing?"
"Of course" b
Read that, then," he said, thrust
ing at the Colonel an envelope with
an inscription on it.
"B-," said the Colonel, trying
to spell it.
"That's not B; it's an s." said
the man.
IS? Oh, yes, l see. Well, the
words look n little like Salt for Din.
ner,'" said the Colonel. ga.
"No, sir" replied the man, nothing
of the kind. That's my name-Sam'l
II. Brunner, knew you couldn't
read. / called to see about that poem
of mine you printed the other day,
OH the 'Surcease Of Sorrow
81 don't remember it," said the
Colonel.
"Of course you don't, because it
went into the paper under the infam-
Gus title Of 'Smearcase Tomorrow"
"Astupid blunder Of the compositor,
| suppose"
eyes, sir, and that is what l want
to see you for. The way that poem
was mutilated was simply scsndulous.
1 haven't slept night since. II ex-
posed me to derision. People think
/ am a fool. Let me show you."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29
Typical Western Fertility.

The following story of an engineer
on n Western railway shows how fast
the country is growing. We do not
hold ourselves responsible for the
truth of the story, but we do not hes
itate to say that it is mot much of a
story" compared with that told by
the Western man who makes an eff.
fort:
"One day l was driving my engine
over the prairie at the rate of forty
miles an hour, without house in
sight, and supposing the nearest town
to be thirty miles distant. But as ]
glanced ahead / was astonished to see
that 1 was approaching large city
l rubbed my eyes, thinking it was q
mirage.
"'Jim,' says l to tho fireman, whats
this placer
Blamed if L know! says Jimi
starting out of the cab. Il declare
if there amt new town growing up
here since We went over the line yes.
terday!
"I believe you are right, Jim
Ring the bell or we shall run @ver
somebody
$50 I slowed up and we pulled into
a large depot where more'n five hun.
dred people were waiting to see the
first train come into the place. The
conductor learned the name of the
town, put it down ON the schedule, and
we went on.
"Jim, says l, ms we pulled out
keep your eyes open for new towns
First thing you know we'll be runnin
by some strange place.
"'That's so ? says Jim. AN hadn't
we better git one of the brakemen to
watch out on the rear platform fol
towns that spring up after the engine
gets byY Providence News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

"How many of your parents, child
rem, say grace at meals ?" asked the
Sunday school teacher. "Please,
mum, what's them 7" asked an over
grown girl in a last years hat.
"Why, Maggie" exclaimed the teach
er, "is il possible you don't know what
grace isl Doesn't your father say
something before you begin to catY''
"Oh!" responded the girl with glow
of intelligence Eyes, mum, he does
he always says, Don't make hogs Of
yourselves; that's all the butter there
is in the house, '"-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29
"Go ahead" said the Colonel.

"Go ahead" said the Colonel.
"The first line, when / wrote it,
read in this manner:
Lying by a weeping willow, underneath gentle
slope
That is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now, how did your vile sheet present
it to the public? There it is. Look
at that. Made it read this way
Lying to weeping widow, to induce her to eiope.'
That is two much-it's enough to
drive man crazy !"
"Pm sorry" said the Colonel ;
"but-"
"And then take the fifth verse. In
the original manuscript it said, plain
as daylight
Take away the jingling money, it is only gltterins
dross'
A man with only one eye, and cata-
ract over that, could have read the
words correctly. But your pirate
upstairs there-do you know what
he did ? He made it read
Take away the ioering monkeys, on a ,oreiy CLAM
dered hoss.'
BY George I felt like Draining him
with q shovel! l was never so cut up
in my life."
ut was natural, too," said the Col
onel.
"There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. l wrote -
Il am weary with the tossing of the ocean as it
heaves'
1t is lovely line, too; but imagine
my horror and the anguish of my
family when I opened your paper and
saw the line transformed into
Il am wearing out my trousers till they're open at
the knees
That is a little too much That
seems to me like carrying the thing
an inch or two too far. / think /
have constitutional right to murder
that compositor; don't your"
~ think you have"
"Let nae read you one more verse.
/ wrote
4 swell the nying echoes as they roam along ths
hills,
And feel my soul awaken to the ecstasy that
thrills
Now what do you suppose your miser-
erable outcast turned that into? Why,
into this
Il smell the frying shoes as they roast along the
bulls,
And peel my soul mistaken in the ecstasy that
whirls.'
Gibberish, sir, awful gibberish! 1
must slay that man. Where is he !"
HE is out now," said the Colonel,
"Come in tomorrow"
II WILL" said the poet land I will
come armed"
Then he put OH his hat, shouldered
his umbrella, and drifted off down
stairs.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29
Ayers Sarsaparila

for rheumatism, with entire success and,
after careful observation, declares that, In
his belief, thero Is no medicine In tho world
equal 10 II for the cure of Liver Disorders,
Cout, the effects OF high living, Salt
Rhoum, Sores, Eruptions, and all tho
various forms OF blood diseases.
We have Mr.. LELASp's permission to invite
all who may desire further evidence In regard
TO the extraordinary curative powers Of
AyxR's SAnsAPAnrLLA to see him person
ally either at his mammoth Ocean Hotel,
Long Branch, or at the popular Leland Hotel.
broadway, nth and 2sth Streets, New York.
Mr.. LELASD's extensive knowledge Of the
good done BY this uncquailed eradicator of
blood poisons enables him 70 give inquirers
much valuable information.
YnzrAnxp nj -
Dr.. .J.c.Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mace.
Sold By all prusgsSi u, siz hess,ss fpsek !
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

Mr.. Bashful-"My daughter is
making surprising progress as an am.
ateur artist. She recently painted a
landscape which was so real that the
lowing of the cattle could be heard
distinctly. Mr.. Hashful-Pretty good,
but my darter Sal kin beat that.
Mr.. B.-What! has your daughter
been developing as an embryonic ar
tisti Mr.. HI don't know ez she
hes bin doin' that, but she painted a
picture of green cowcumber so nat
ural that give the hull family chol-
era morbus.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

John" said clergyman to his
plowman, wouldn't it be a good
plan for you to have scythe here,
and be cutting few bushes along the
fences while the horses are resting for
short time" eyes, sir" said John !;
"and wadn't it be weel for you to hae
a tub o taties in the poolpit, and
when the folk were singin' peel them
awhile to be ready for the pot ~
Elk.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

The humorous market is quiet.
We quote coachman's jokes, prime,
5@6 C. per million ice cream jokes.
no demand; bank jokes weak at la
II per ton choice plumber jokes in
demand at STOP per dozen.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

The other day Newark physician,
who suspected that some one was
peeping through the keyhole of his
office door, investigated with syringe
full of pepper sauce. He found his
wife, half nn hour afterward, with a
bandage over her left optic. She
told him that she had been cutting
wood and chip had hit her in the
eye.-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

"Here, jerks, that watch you
traded me two weeks ago and war
ranted to be good horse timer won't
keep any time at all. 1t won't 60
more'n half the time" "Well, told
you it was first class stop watch. -
Chicago Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

"What is it that determines a girls
popularity in societyp asks a CO.
temporary. In nine times out of ten
it is the size of her fathers bank &C.
count.-Norristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

A gentlemen went into crowded
store to buy some stockings for his
wife. 81 want some striped ones," he
said to the clerk. 1--WE have very
few stripes, sir" the clerk replied ;
"they are not much worn now."
care you sure?' "Oh, yes, quiet
sure. will demonstrate the fact to
YOU" Then he leaned over the coun-
ter and shouted "Rats % "See," he
asked. eyes, give me the plain
colors. s."-Drake's Magazine.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

Young politician writes "Why
does a State have a Legislature ?"
"My dear boy, it doesn't. The Legis-
lature has the State every time. Has
it by the pocket book, has it on its
back.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-04-29

The young man who had just made
his first appearance on any stage"
was telling his friends all about it.
"Did you receive any floral tributes p
he was asked. "No." he replied,
"but I lodged all the egg" There
was triumph in his tone.-Ex.