Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-11-19

Bsn1h0zatoas Repablican. Y
use your fork, Johnnie! Have you
forgotten so soon what told you about
using your tingers9' "Well, mamma,
fingers were made before forks. "Yes,
they were; but not your fingers, my
son. u Christian at Work.
7ai A writer in Hd,pcr's BazGr says:
1.-THE ears should be so placed as not
Ito be higher than the eyebrows or lower
than the tip of the nose" People who
are dressing for party should not for
get this. PHILADELPHIA CAL. '- .'""'
The only Indication SO far that the
sardine crop will not pan out is the sui
eide of Sandman Princess. As she
didn't live off the coast of Maine, how
ever, she couldn't be presumed to know
much about it, Philadelphia YNews. m
..Pa, who was Shylockp" Pater-
familias with a look of surprise and
horror)-'4Great goodness. boy; you at
tend church and Sunday-school every
week and don't know who Shylock
wase Go and read the Bible, sir. y
Rdmb'er. dHtj Htita .-fnmg n
A street dentist who promises to pull
teeth without pain is accompanied by
brass band. When the forceps are
placed on the victims tooth signal is
given to the band, and the cries of pain
pre Immediately drowned in the noise
of horns and drums.
Professor r. A. Proctor says that
this earth is to-day Just as likely to
quake and overthrow cities and towns
as it has been at any time since man
existed. You are right, Professor, but
does it not occur to you that 1t is just
as unlikely to do sep-BostoD POST 80
The hairdressserat the2 Jardin des
Plantes with his little son-s'My boy,
here you see how unequally n ature dis
tributes her gifts. This creature, for
instance, IS the tortoise, of whose she'll
the best hairpihsiare made, but which.
unfortunately, has no hair itself. y
| Paris Figaro. ~tlltH9 I'll
1t is related Of a distinguished lawyer
who observed that his wife always de-
layed ten or twelve minutes before, she
came down to dinner. being loath to
lose so much precious time daily, he
commenced the composition of work
which he prosecuted only while he was
thus kept waiting. The result was at
I the end of fifteen years book in three
volumes 9aaFte, which -has met with O
large, sale and is much needed. 1id-
bits. r|SS
- Now. Mary" said father to his
daughter who had, q lover of the new
tqer-go- home at>s-deceut> tin,eS Of night
\ lind, II 4haves 40 aAoSjeetion 10 your
bringing company to tho house, but I
don't want to see that Kcclcy motor
L bsaue0f yotirs here again u tas' atlat.a
+ "My what beau?" "Yonr Eeeley
4 motor beaIf why lio n yotrs call him
Y BY such ahaffee'> "Beeausc he y she
|, Of those chaps that won't 60"
" Sfsawyyoua noddings i'll church this
morning. ~ Crimsonbeak got fired at
him between the courses at Sundays
dinner, We'll, suppose you did, re-
piled lie. sit was while tho collection
was being taken. too" continued the
wife. "And what were you doingP'
Il was giving my mite. | contributed
|, 4 pcunY.n s'WeIl, Isn't a nod us good
as assent, any daye'' Mrs. Crimson
beak caused the pickles and everything
sharp-but Crimsonbeak be re-
moved from the table. = Yonkers States
man. y H.,
Yesterday morning at the breakfast
table Johnny Fizzletopc complained that
he had suffered all night from the collie.
Fizzletop, senior, who is one of the
most indulgent fathers in Austin, said:
''Why didn't you call me, Johnnyp"
Because ! didn't want to disturb
you, pa, replied the considcrate little
\, boz. ;..1{,,, 7t'.' L..a
= Next time you have the collie ut
night, Just eau me, sonny. You needn't
be afraid Of disturbing me. for l sleep
so sound there is no danger OF my hear
ing you call. y 1ezGs i filings. s.39sls n
1t is wonderful how times change
I Wkittief was MAIDS the editor 81 the
Hartford ReUiew because the retiring
editor, George D. Prentice, had receiv-
ed q few poems from him and was
pleased with them. Prentice recon-
mended the then unknown poet as his
successor. and Whittier secured the
place. In this aagedof prose and pork
and market reports a young man can't
get an editorial position, or in fact any
position, simply by sending in a few
spring poems Everybody has found
this out except the poets. They keep
on trying. ~ N 1 iieHHang.
L