The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-07-03
SPOOpENDYKE'S PIE.
He Shows Mrs. s. How His Mother
Used to Make EN-.

n. i . L
He Shows Mrs. s. How His Mother
Used to Make EN-.
sMy dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
folding his napkin and pushing his
chair back from the table, my dear,
you are a pretty good housekeeper,
and once in a while you contriye to
cook up a fair meal, but you have no
business fooling around a mlnce pie,
There never was but one woman who
could make a mince pie, and that was
my mother"
81 thought this was NICE" returned
Mrs. S~poopendye, with just a little
qulver resting on her lip. 81 got it
out of the cook book
And you'd better put it right back
IN the book as a warning to other am
ateurs," continued Mr.. Spoopendyke.
81 don't say that this is especially bad,
only it doesn't meet with all the re.
qulrements of pie as they were in
stilled into my young mind. You
might work it on founding hospitals
that never had any mother, but it
hasn't the soul l used to get out of pie
when L lived at home.'
"How did your mother make the
mlnce pie, dearP" asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. eff l knew what she used.
perhaps l could get up one of which
you would eat six Slices instead of
four" And with this purelyfeminine
dig, Mrs. spoopendyke looked mod
estly downward and began folding
knife pleatings in the table cloth.
Gomez exclaimed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, jumping impetuously from his
chair. eff you've got the ingredi-
ents, I'll show you how to make a pie
that will draw bowls of envy from the
neighbours" and Mr.. S2oopkendyke
led the way to the kitchen. s.Where's
your chopping tray and the apples?
Fetch me the hand guillotine and the
beef! Look alive now, my dear, and
We'll startle the world with some rev-
Citations on the abstruse subject of
mince pie!"
Let me put this big towel around
your neck, so you won't grease your
clothes, suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke,
dragging out a huge crash towel.
whats that forpn demanded her
husband, contemplating it with no
amount of favor. (Which end of the
pie is that thing supposed to have in
tiuence withP Ii l make up nv mind
when | get through that this pie wants
to be shaved, I'll put on this skirt, but
in the meantime | want room for all
my limbs. Now, he continued, as he
dumped the beef and apples into the
tray and went at them vigorously with
the chopping knife; now you watch
the proceedings and note how this pie
begins to assume proportions
Didn't your mother peel the apples
before she chopped ,hem?" asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, quietly.
"Eh!' calculated MIR. Spoopendvke.
slowing up a little and looking into
the tray distrnstfully. '.Of course
not" and he resumed his labors with
more energy. IF you did, there's
where you made your mistake. | sup
pose you peeled the beef, too, didn't
YEP Though l don't know" and he
stopped short and regarded his work
attentively. 1T strikes me this meat
would chop finer if some one had drop
ped a pile driver on it once or twice.
Anyway, you don't want your meat
too fine, and l guess this will do" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke set the tray full of
Jumps on the table and rolled up his
sleeves.
What will you have now, dearP"
inquired his wife, tenderly.
"Some -four and water" replied
Mr.. Spoopendyke, cheerily. .It's the
crust of a pie that is it's genius,
and I'm going to turn out a slab
of pastry that will be a monu-
ment to the artist who is weav-
ing this Job. Gimme the flour and
water, while I feel as one upon
whom the spirit of a successful pie
rests ~visibly!'
Mrs. Spoopendyke brought out the
material and once more resum.
ed the relation as a pupil to the ex-
e~rcises.
Anything else, deare" she ask
ed, as Mr.. ~Spoopendyke wet down
his flour and damned his fists in the
paste.
Nothing but profound silence" re-
torted her husband. "The chief trou-
BILE with the crust to your pie is that
you allow your attention to be dis
tracted from it at the critical moment.
l, on the contrary, will stop boxing
this overcoat for that mince meat Just
at the second 1t reaches fakiness,n and
he slammed in more flour and plunged
again into his ambitious effort in the
way of crust. ''There!'' said he when
he had fought it to the consistency of
sand and mucilage and rolled 1T out
into two thick chunks. There is the
triumph of pie over puttering! Lead
out the pan whom the gods would
honor, and let's see how this combina-
ton of hereditary intelligence and ac-
CURED brains will go when it's
cookedr!'
Mrs. Spoopendyke handed him a pie
pan INTO which he dropped his bottom
crust, and then poured in the mince-
meat.
Got to lift your teeth pretty high
to get around some of the meat" he
observed, as he tried to poke the
Jumps into position with a stick.
IT III not sure whether mother used to
CRATE the meat or crack il with a ham
mer. but it don't make so much diff
ference. It's the crust that talks.