davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
All. There, I'll Steal You.

"Ah, therei I'll steal you" shouted
little boy to his mamma, the other
day.
why, Jimmy, you naughty boy.
You mustn't say that; that 5 not nice.
If hear you say that again ] shall
punish you severely" admonished tue
mother.
''well, don't care. Pa says that,
anyway.
HE does. does hep"
"Yes; heard him say that yesterday.
But he told me not to tell"
you'll tell mamma, won't you, JIM
my? I've got some nice peaches for
Jimmy. Now tell me about it. T"
Gimme two big peaches?"
"Yes, two awful big ones
"Well. pa an me when we went to
the posloffis we seen that dressmaker
what lives over pas store, and when pa
seen her he said that, and she laughed
at pa an they shook hans an pa he
said there was nice music at Coney Is
land Saturday night, an the old hen
was goin' up to the Catskills an he
expected TO be down to the island. an
she sed she expected to 20 down; an
then they snickered an she said pa
would be lonesome, an pa said he
guessed not as long as there was good
music at Coney Island; an then they
snickered an shook hams again. Say.
pa hain't got no old hen, has hep
mo. Jimmy. he has not; but there 5
no telling what he will have when he
comes home" and streaks of green fire
blazed out from her eyes far enough TO
hang hat on them.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
why She woulda't Marry Him.

They were on a wedding tour in this
direction tho other day and the happy
couple were accompanied by three
others. 1t was a sweet spectacle to see
the four pairs promenading up Jeffer-
son avenue with hands clasped and a
taffy-like smile spread over every face,
and hundreds of pedestrians stopped
to gaze and admire. The porter of a
wholesale house wasn't quite satisfied
with what he could soc. but stopped
the last couple and inquired:
ut is case of love?'
"You bcir' replied the young man.
Are they extremely happy"
jest abiding over, sir. Z"
'Why don't you and this girl follow
suitP''
I'm perfectly willin', but Sarah kerr
f1unks on me. I've asked her over
twenty times to have me, but it's no
CO."
Never! never! she firmly said as
she rolled her cud OF gum TO the other
side for moment when a man
takes me to circus and crawls under
the canvas to save expenses, and then
can't see the man with the lemonade
nor the boy with the peanuts,
wouldn't hitch to him If had TO go
out and set Il bear-trap to catch a part
mel" -Detr~n Free Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
Paw borrowed Money.

With the morale of the following
business transaction we have nothing
to do. A poor coot of fellow. who
had spent hundreds at well-known
gin palace, came in one day. being
faint, feeble, and out of change, and
begged the landlord 10 trust him for q
glass of liquor.
NO. was the answer to the re-
quest; Il never make a practice OF
trusting"
The drunkard turned to a man sit
ting in the room. and one whom he
had known in better days. saying
''Sir, viii you please to loud me six
pencep'
Certainly" said he, and handed
him the money.
The landlord Immediately placed the
bottle and the glass before him. He
helped himself to bumper and
smacked his lips with great satisfac-
ton.
Turning to the man who had kindly
made him the loan of sixpence, he
said
''Hcrc. sir. is the money | owe you.
Degraded rs am. and no man feels it
more than | do. | always make it a
point 10 pay borrowed money before /
pay my liquor bills. T"
Inc iandiur found he was regularly
sold. and the liquor given away.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22

Apropose OF the report that went the
rounds about a boy at Barneveld be-
ing thrown into a threshiug machine
and killed, the Milwaukee. j ournal says:
'Jud stones recent story "a bout a man
who got mad at boy and fed him into
the cylinder Of threshing machine,
had small grain of truth in il. A man
in the neighborhood did have the heel
of his boot pinched off in horsepower.
This slight foundation for the thrilling
narrative shows Jud to be cultiyating
a regard for the truth, which he did not
show in his previous works of fiction.
It is not very long age since he startled
the community by tragedy which he
located at Sank, quiet village on the
| Wisconsin. The story ran that a man
was going to blast rock. and bought o
lot of dynamite which he was careless
enough to leave on the ground and a
hog ate il up, without manifest incon-
venience until he went too near mule
and got kicked. The shock exploded
the pig, tore down a house and barn,
killed all the stock on the farm, and
left hole in the ground fifty feet deep
where the pig and mule were standing
at the time of the kicking. That's the
kind Of stories Jud used to psrpetra,e
when he rolled entirely on his imagina-
tion.n
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22

In an article On "Slang in America
in the November number of the North
American Review, Walt Whitman
gives the following list of slang name.
for states, or their citizens rather, which
will not be new to the surviving vet.
Grams of the war: Always among the
soldiers during the Secession War, one
heard of Little Mac (Gen. McClellen)
or of Uncle Billy Gen. Sherman).
The old man was, of course, very
common. Among the rank and file oil
both armies, it was very general to
speak of the different states they came
from by their slang names. Those
from Maine were called Foxes; New
Hampshire. Granite Boys; Massachu.
sets, Bay Skaters; Vermont. Greer
Mountain Boys; Rhode Island, Cur
Flints; Connecticut. Wooden Nutmegs
New York. Knickerbockers; New Jer
sey. Clam Catchers;a Pennsylyania
Logher Heads; Delaware. Muskrats
MARYLAND. Claw Thumpers; virginia
Beagles; North Carolina, Tar Boilers
South Carolina. Weasels; Georgia
Buzzards; louisiana, Crsoles; Alabama
Lizards; Kentucky, Corn Crackers
Ohio. Buckeyes; Michigan. Wolverines
Indiana. Hoosiers; Illinois, Suckers
Missouri. Pukes; Mississippi, Tad Psles
Florida. Fly as the Greeks; Wisconsin
Badgers; Iowa. Hawkeyes; Oregon
Hard Cases. Indeed. am not sur
but slang names have more than one,
made Presidents. old Hickory (Gen
Jackson) is one case in point. Zip
recanoe, and Tyler. teo,' another .
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
Neal Fields Easily Earned Fee


Neal Fields, you will remember, was
in the chancery court clerks Office with
Steve Chipley. Constant communica-
ton with members of the bar gave him
n good idea of law, and inc resolved to
go west and adopt the practice. He
arrived at Albuquerque one night. and
next day WAS engaged in a murder
case which at that time was attracting
attention all over the territory.
Among the many ranchmnn was y
burly old fellow named Carter, who
styled himself king" and was ter
ror for miles around. Carter had
small regard for the property of other
people, and made speciality of claim
ing all the cattle that strayed upon his
pastures. Other ranc.lmcn were afraid
to remonstrate with him personally,
and were forced to resort to the courts.
A Kentucky attorney named Hagan
was in Carriers employ. and was usual
ly successful.
A fatal shooting ARRAY occurred or
the streets of Albuquerque one night.
Not long afterward Carter was lodged
in jail and charged with murder. lie
lltO hllitu lOt II
trfiing insult. and the spectators loud
ly proclaimed that it was in cold blood.
That night there were rumors of mob
vengeance, aud the prison was placed
under heavy guard.
Lawyer Hagan was sent for the next
day 10 visit Carter At first he hest
tated; he had made up his mind to
have nothing to do with the case. A
second messenger arrived, and Hagan
concluded to visit Carter.
There is this much about il" said the
attorney: II have defended you the
last time All your wealth could not
hire me TO take charge of your de-
fense.n
Then for Gods sake rec ,mmcnd
somebody said the imprisoned cattle
king. Hagan promised and left.
On the way from the prison to his
Office he met Neal Fields. The two
had known each other in Kentucky,
and were not long ia renewing the old
acquaintance. The case Of Carter was
mentioned to Fields, and he was asked
ii he would enlist for the defense.
IF get money enough, replied
Fields, with a keen eye to business.
you shall have all the money you
want, was the reassuring reply.
Hagan turned and led the way back to
the Jail. Fields was introdu ed to
Carter. and agreed to take the case. A
sheck for 5000 was signed then and
there and turned over 10 The young at
torney. Fields went 10 work on the
case. The frst thing he did was to
draw his money from the bank.
The next day Albuquerque was
startled when it became known that
Turing the night mob of masked
men had taken Carter from the Jail
and left him swinging from a limb.
Fields had the 5000. and his client
was beyond defense. Louisville tour-
lsr-,fouruaI
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
The Cats Nine Lives.


OF the cat it is commonlv said that it
has nine lives BY this saying nothing
very definite is meant beyond tho opin-
ion that under various kinds of death
the cat lives much longer than other
animals that have to be killed by vio-
lent means. When any question is
asked of the police or OF other persons
who have to take the lives OF lower
animals. they tell you, without exeep-
ton, according to my experience. that
the cat is the most difficult TO destroy
of all domestic animals, and that it en-
dures accidental blows and falls with
an impunity that is quite distinguish
ing characteristic.
The general impression conveyed in
these views is strictly correct up to a
certain and weil-marked degree. BY
the lethal death, the value of the life
OF the cat is found to be, at the least,
three times the worth of tie dog. In
all the cases | have seen in which the
exacteSt comparisons were made, the
cat outlived the dog. A cat and dog
of the same ages being placed in u
lethal chamber, the cat may. with per-
feet certainty, be predicted to Outliye
the dog. The lethal chamber being
large enough to hold both the cat and
the dog, the vapor inhaled by the ami
mails being the same, with every other
condition identical. this result as an
experimental truth. may be accepted
without cavil.
The differences, always well marked,
are sometimes much longer than would
be credible in the absence of the evi-
dcnce. have once seen cat, falling
asleep in lcthal chamber in the same
period as dog. remain breathing,
literally. nine times longer, for the dog
died within five minutes. and the cat
not only continued TO breathe, in pro-
foundest sleep. for forty-five minutes,
but would have been recoverable by
simple removal from the vapor into
fresh air if il mad been removed while
yet one act of breathing continued.
This, however, was exceptional. be-
cause the cat in the same lethal atmos-
phere as the dog does not. as a rule,
live more than thrice as long; l. e.. if
the dog ceases to breathe in four min
utcs, the cat viii cease in from ten to
twelve minutes after falling asleep. -
From measures of Vitlt Tenactty," by
DR.. b. W Richardson. IN Popular
Science Monthly for august.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
Hcttic Grecn,s Son.

Hottie Green is the sharpest woman
ON Wall street and the richest woman in
New York. She is over 40 years old
and she numbers her fortune BY rs
many millions rs there arc years in her
lifc. Her mother WAS somewhat of an
hciress, and her father had increased
tho family pile to 5000, 900 at the
time of his death. This fortune Hottie,
as the only child. inherited, and she at
once went to work to increase it. Much
of her fortune was invested in ships,
but these she considered dangerous
and sold them. and placed the pro-
ceeds in good interest paying mort
cages. She bought these mortgages
in small towns all over England. tray
cling about aud Investigating the Sc
curlies for herself. Shortly after her
fathers death maiden aunt of hers
died and left her $4 000. 900 more. Tho
Sl3. 600, 900 that Hettic Green thus in
hcrited she had Increased by careful
speculation to about $50. 900, 600 ut the
time she married Z, Ii. Green, of New
York. Miss Hettic had an antc-nuptial
contract with him whereby he agreed
to pay all household expenses and to
leave her property of 500. 000 900 and
more in her own name. After her we'd
ding she kept up her business work,
and through her husband got into Wall
street speculation. She did the spccu-
lating herself. however. and made
while her husband lost. She could buy
largo blocks of stock and would bull
and bear the market as she thought
best. She has made money right along,
and is now said TO be worth forty odd
millions. She is very economical with
al, and though her income must be
several millions year. her total house
hold expenses are not over SIS. 600. She
rides down Broadway in 5-ccnt bus,
carrying perhaps $40 900 in her reti-
cute, aud she used TO walk to parties
through the snow pulling old wooden
stocking over her shoes TO keep her
feet dry and save buying rubbers.
When she got to the place OF entertain
ment she would pull OF her socks and
hang them on the hat-rack to dry. She
kept her silver aud securities at John
Cisco's bank. and the bankers say she
came periodically to the bank with
box of whiting and polished her silver
herself. When Cisco tailed, not long
ago. it took two cabs TO carry away the
plate. and the securities which Mrs.
Green had on deposit were found to be
over S25. 100000 Hcitic Green has
two children. boy aud girl, The
girl is IL and the boy IA years old. The
boy is an invalid, but his mother says
she intends 10 make him the richest
man in America Ii she keeps on pill
ing up money at her present rate she
will probably succeed Washington
Letter 10 Cleveland Leddsr.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
NUMBER "a.
FiIibusterirg in the senate.

We had some memorable tilibuster-
ing in my day. | remember one night
when great contest in the Senate,
over certain bill. eliminated in
twenty hours of work. The majority
had determined that they would ''sil
the bill'' out that night. So they as
sembled in force, ready to pass il
whenever they might see their chance.
The minority were also on hand. Both
sidos were nearly exhausted As the
hands Of the clock approached the
hour OF midnight, there was scarcely q
senator in the room. / remember that
Senator Merriman led the minority;
Senator Logan watched" for the ma
joriiy. Senator Merriman had the
floor. with the unlimited privilege OF
continuous debate permitted by the
rules. and he seemed prepared TO talk
forever. But occasionally he paused
To allow another member Of the minor
~ 10 make = motion to adjourn. upon
W icli the ''yeas and nays" would be
ordered And the clerk will call the
rolli''
Those words were the signal for ac-
ton. Call up the senator's cried
Senator Logan; ..Call up the senators!"
came from Senator Merriman; Call
mp the senatorsr echoed Captain Bas-
sett. This is how we pages called
them. Each of us would rush around
through the various rooms. and give
one of those sleeping senator's n little
tap. shouting Yeas and Naysr and
dart away 10 find another. Sometimes
dozen pages would waken the same
senator In fact. we usually ran in a
linc-all together.
Soon the sleepy Legislators could be
seen creeping into the chamber from
all directions, half awake. with dishev-
eicd hair, and presenting n woe-begone
appearance generally. They would
mechanically cast their votes, the mo-
tion to adjourn would DO lost, Senator
Merriman would resume his speech,
and the other senators, except the
watchers" would again vanish as
mystcriously and as noiselessly as the
soldiers of Roderick Dhu. When he
had given them time 10 fall asleep. he
would again yield the floor to motion
to adjourn, and the performance would
be repeated.
During all this spcech-making, most
OF ice minority were asleep. hey de-
pended upon Senator Mcrriman Gas
most of the majority depended upon
Senator Logan and their other lead
ers) to wake them at the proper time.
They relied upon him to do all the
talking. He was, as say, prepared
to do it. But he mnde mistake. He
remembered the courtesy. but he for
got the rules of the Senate. He had
been yielding the floor to his friends
whenever he saw fit, and resuming it
again after they had said whatever
they wished. Senator Logan at last
interfered. He raised the point of
order that the senator from North
Carolina could not speak more than
twice on the matter then pending.
Senator Merriman stood aghastl The
presiding officer sustained the point of
order.
That is where the decentralization of
the minority seemed TO begin. At ten
minutes past seven O'Clock a. m. the
majority passed the bill
How would You like to be a filibus-
terri From "Among the Law-makers. -
by Edmond alton. ~ So. Nicholas for
duQuSt
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22

Rev. Enoch Prouty. inventor, OF the
Prouiy printing press, has been de.
posed from the Baptist ministry at Be-
lott, for nsglecting his family and be.
ing on intimate terms with Mrs. o. S.
Hynes, a Chicago milliner. When
ministers Of the gospel get to inventine
printing presses and excuses to their
wives for being out late at night. it ID
time they were watched.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
Feeding a Company.

Among the adventures recorded of
the Irish Brigade while in France, one
OF the most amusing was an occur
ence in the time of the Regent Orleans.
in honor of whose birthday a grand
masquerade was given in Paris. 1t
was high-class affair; tickets were
double louis dor each. All the rank
and beauty of Paris were assembled
around the Regent, and costly and
luxurious supper crowned the attract
| ions of the night. Whilst the enter
tainment was proceeding, one of the
PRINCES suite approached and whis-
pered to him: at is worth Your Roy
al Highnesses' while to step into the
supper rooms; there is yellow domi-
no there who is the most extraordi-
nary cormorant ever witnessed. He is
prodigy. Your Highness. He never
stops eating and drinking. and the at
tendants say, moreover, that he has
not done SO for several hours. His
Royal Highness went accordingly, and
sure enough there was the yellow DOM
inc. laying about him as described,
and swallowing everything as raven
ously as if he had only Just begun.
Raised pies fell before him like garden
paling before a field piece; pheasants
aud quail seemed to by down his
throat in coyey; the wine he drank
threatened scarcity, whatever might
be the next vintage. After watching
him for some time the Duke acknowl-
edged he was wonder, and laughing
ly left the room. but shortly after
wards on passing through another. he
saw the yellow domino again, and as
actively at work as ever, devastating
the dishes everywhere. and emptying
the champagne bottles as rapidly as
they were brought to him. Perfectly
amazed, the Duke at last could not re-
strain his curiosity. "Who." he ask
ed, lis that insatiate ogre, who threat
ems such humiliation to all the labors
of our cooksp" Accordingly. one of the
suite was dispatched to him. Ills
Royal Highness, the Duke of Orleans.
desires the yellow domino to unmask."
But tho domino begged to be excused,
pleading the privilege of masquerade.
There is higher law, +" replied the Of
fcer; 1.-THE royal order must be obey
cd" well, then" answered the in
cognito; ''if it must be so. it must"
and, unmasking. exhibited the ruddy
visage of an Irish trooper. why, in
the name of Polyphemus!" exclaimed
the Regent, as he advanced to him;
''who and what are youp have seen
you eat and drink for dozen men at
least, and yet you seem as empty as
ever" We'll, then" said the trooper;
''since the saycret must come out,
please your Royal Highness, am one
of Clare's Horse-that's the guard of
honor to-night-and when our men
was ordered out, we dubbed our mon
ey to buy ticket. and agreed to take
our turn at the supper table
WHAT" exclaimed the Duke; ''the
whole troop coming to superb 'Oh.
it's aisy. please your highness. Sure
one domino would do for all of us, if
aich tux it in turn. I'm only the
eighteenth man, and there's twelve
more to come" The loud laughter of
the jovial Duke was the response TO
this explanation. followed by louis-d'-
or to the Dragon, and promise to
keep his ''saycret, till the entire
troop had supped. ~ Samuel Lover.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22

Hon. F. g. Was hburne, in the Nov
ember number of the North American
Review, recalls most wildly the excite
ing days of '6l. and corrects some pop
ular myths that have been SO generally
received as to become almost a part of
history. According to Mr.. WashburHe.
the famous Scotch Cap which Lin
coin is supposed to have worn when he
went to Washington, must 60 into
fiction. He says:
There has been great deal printed
/ ia the newspapers about Mr.. Lincoln 5
arrival in Washington. and about the
Scotch Csp' and big Shawl he
wore through Baltimore. NEST OF which
/ i me,e stuff. He had on d
soft luw-crowned hat. muller around
his neck. and short bob-tailed over
coat | must confess he
looked more like well-to-d0 farmer
than the President ofthe United States
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22
A Cats Strange Experience.

A cat got upon the rim of high fly
wheel which runs in pit at an electric
light station in Brooklyn. The wheel
WAS soon making twenty revolutions a
minute. 1t was impossible to rescue
the cat from its perilous position with
out stopping the engine, and that
would break every circuit and put out
all the lights dependent upon the dyna-
mos in the station; so that the unfor-
tunate animal had to ride on until the
engine was stopped at the usual hour
for putting out the lights. The cat
then dropped exhaustc from the
wheel. but soon revived. and was none
the worse for its strange experience.
II is estimated that in the seven hours
which the animal spent on the wheel
near the rim ii Travelled more Than 300
rnilas
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22

Tho Rev. Mr.. Yellowstone made
Mrs. Jarphly pastoral visit. and, his
mother being at that moment occupied,
young johnnie Jarphly sought to en-
terrain the good man. As Johnnie
proposed to take his hat and .lay it
up" Mr.. Yellowstone said, Thank
you" and then won't on to inculcate
q moral lesson by instructing the little
boy that he should always be grateful
and thankful to Heaven for The small
est favors. do you understand. my
little mans' asked Mr. Yellowstone
20. yes, sir. replied johnnie. I'VE
always give thanks Mt meals and at
evening prayer, and when yon wore
last here ma said when you left,
sThank Heaven, he's gone at last ~
Ptfsburg Chronicle Telegraph
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22

We had The pleasure OF a call ycster-
day from four very remarkable broth
,rs They were Messrs. A. e.. j. W.,
ii. j.. and ID. 2. Highiowcr. aud aged
70. II. 70. and 73 years-a total OF 304
years. They have in all thirty-four
children, sixty-one grand children, and
two rcat-grandchihlren The four
brothers are in good health, and there
is not thirteen pounds difference in
weight between the heaviest and light
est. The most remarkable thing is that
none of them was ever drunk. or played
game OF chance. or took dram in a
bar-rooin. They are ali members oil
the church and lead piou>, good lives.
La Grange tGa.) kepyst,r.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-10-22

A number of the Cincinnati Demo.
cratic judges of election have been ar.
rested. 1t is charged that they held
back the returns to see if the Legislature
were going to be close. and il so to
throw it into the hands of the Demo.
Gratis by traudulently certifying the
election of Democratic members. 1t
was for such monkey-work as this that
Joseph c. Mackin, Of, Chicago, is now
under five.years' sentence to the
penitentiary.