Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-05-17
TINE LimE.xILn CLUB.

1lbu VIC btVfc.
"Yes, sahl' replied Q, high-pitched voice
from of the back corners.
"You viii please step to de front.
Brother Johnsing has always Dragged
about the length of bis heels, and he now
appeared to think that the hour had come
when he was to receive prize chrome. His
face wore a broad grin, and just at that
moment he would have lent Brother Back
slide Davis fifty ceuts without the least Sc
curity.
"Stepoff Johnsing," said Brother Gardner
in his deep toned voice, II war IN feed
stoh de odder night to see about git
tin two bits with Of meal fur my hens.
when you walked in an wanted to git trust
ed fur bale OF hay fur your mule.
"An' be trusted me- sal"
"Zactly, an it pleased me to see it. In
few minits de ole man Cummins hmped
in. De two of you talked about de gineral
wickedness of mankind fur few miaits,
an den dispute arose as to de aige OF de
world"
ayes, sab. De ole man Cummins doan
know muffin, sab.
"You called him liar"
dBut he called me fool
"You called him bigot.
can he called me humbug."
"'Zactly-'zactly-I heerd it all. Brud-
der Johnsipg, an now l want to ak you
what you know about de age of de worldY
"I-I-knows as much as de old man
Cummins."
"How old am de airth?'
81 dunno, sab" -,
"Ob, you don't! You an Cummlns call
names an almost fight ober what neither OF
you kin cum widin millyun miles Of know
in OATS mankind, zactly. We kin be
bluffed on what we do know, but We won't
back water for any ibin man on what we
dosn't know. When We git theory we fight
fur it sooner dan fur solemn Jacks. 1t we
can't convince de odder party by blab ye am
ready to do it by sluggin. Brudder JohnsingI
it will be we'll fur you to disreckolect few
Jacks. A gill of argument am worth q
bushel O abuse. 1t takes man OF strong
common sense to admit his faults an errors.
You may believe wild all yer might an still
be in de wrong. Find o man who prIdes
himself on stickin' to his opinyuns, an you
has found dangerous member OF de com
mnnity. You may now sot down, an we
will attack the reg lar programme"
Not Member.
Stepback Smith arose to make an in-
auiry. He had seen q paragraph IN the
papers to the effect that the Hon. Green
Clay jackson, of Hamilton, Ont, who wa'
lecturipg through Canada on do We Ea.
Too Much?' had been sent out on this mis-
sion by the Lime-Kiln Clue, OF which he wa,
a respected member. Was this statement
true?
After consulting the Secretarys book the
President answered that the person named
was not even a member Of the club. ANY
one giving him credit for parsnips or plug
tobacco must do 80 at his own peril. AS to
his lecture if we ate too much the TACT
would be surprise to mos. colored people
in America. Nobody seemed troubled TO
get away with all the provisions his income
allowed, and nine out Of ten stomschs were
expected to run for several hours per day on
vacuum.
Will Affiliate,
The Secretary announced an official COM
munication from the white Snowflake
Club" of Point Pleasant, West Virginia,
asking the Lime.Kiln Club to affiliate with
il. Its motto was I'VE didn't know it was
loaded" and its object the elevation OF col
ored corn doctors and the suppression OF
atheticism in the United States.
Brother Gardner replied that the club
would affiliate up to certain point. lie be-
ieved that colored corn doctors needed ele'
waiting. The last one who stopped at his
house stole three snow shovels and on ak,
and he had been present when two OF the
fraternity had been hung for murder. lie
would go in for about seventeen degrees oil
moral elevation, and after that would see
about any further engagement ...
Here's Your Man.
The Secretary then read the following in
a voice alternating between brick.bats and
taffy:
CorNTY OF OswEGo, S..
VILLAGE OF FULToN, 90,
Bro. Gardner OF Detroit, ESQ.,:
DEAR SIH-The time for selecting re
sponsible, efficient person for postmaster o.
our beautiful and lovely village is about tc
arrive. Ny relatives and dearest friend.
wish me to acsept the appointment. Would
any prominent member OF the Lime Kiln
Club condescend to navigate this way and
accept the appointment OF First Assistant
Postmaster ct salary Of IS 900 per annum
| want one who can butcher, as | INTEND
moving the postotiice 10 my meat market i
ge, to be postmaster. Please peruse thu
out loud before the members Of the club thu
next time they assemble together aud an
swer by cable cipher dispatch Immediately
after. Yours intelligently.
his
CHARLIvUs y WHITTLEEICEEE,
mark
per
CHRISTMAS PowELs,
Who 10 10 be Second Assistant z. "a.
A dozen members were on their feet q
once, each one trying to secure the floor
ard in spite Of the vigorous use Of the gsvel
the disorder increased
'Sot down. shouted the President. In
stead Of ANYBODY "sotting," half dozel
more rose up and spirit Of reckleSsnes
| broke loose
Giveadam Jones flung Elder Toots int
the wood box
Judge Cadaver paid off an old grudge b.
giving Samuel Shin clip under the ear.
Waydown Bebee so far forgot his dignity
as to beave o volume Of sacred poetry a
Pickles Smith and lay him cold.
The Hon. Kyann Csbiff sportively al
tempted to twist Sir Isaac Walpole's nose
but the next moment be found himself uu
der bench, with millions Of stars dancinj
/ T c H IN G
Skin Diseases Instantly Relieved b.