The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-06-05
A CAPITAL HOAX.
The Pacific Hose COmpany's Joke
on the Late Election of Officers.

Yesterday morning, about 7 o'clock, as
Chief Engineer Mott was going along King
street, he discovered what appeared to be q
human figure hanging from the roof of the
Pacific Hose Company's house. A glance
at the object led the Chief to suspect that
it was not living, his suspicious being con-
frmed by the fact of its being suspended by
a rope fastened around the neck. The Chief,
to whom belongs the care of the property Of
the Fire Department, felt that this was a
case that demanded prompt action on his
part. Accordingly, he telephoned to the
Bell Tower for one Of the stewards of the
Department, and upon his arrival, ordered
him to cut down the inanimate figure and
take it to the Bell Tower.
Before this was done, however, the news
that man had hung himself spread through
the town, and our Photographer Chief,
with fine eye to business, had secured an
instantaneous negative of the suspended
figure.
The steward managed to get on the roof
Of the building and lowered the figure to
the sidewalk. He then got it on his back,
ing all the children he met, and exciting the
curiosity Of the storekeepers on the way.
The faithful dog who guards the tower was
not going to let the steward enter with his
strange load. but after little delay allowed
the procession to pass upstairs into the re-
ception room.
Here the remains were viewed by jury
Of hu Act
Coroner Jack Reeves, and they one and all
pronounced them to be all that was left of a
Chinaman who had tried to get the Mon
golian Ticket elected at the late election of
officers of the Department.
The efigy was dressed in a Chinese
blouse and pajamas--bOth quite new-and
wore ON his feet and legs a pair of long
brown stockings, which led the jury to be-
lieve that he had, when alive, done washing
for some member Of the Pacific Baseball
Club. On his feet were straw slippers, and
on his head a straw hat His queue, which
was very long, was of light straw color,
as if it had been braided from a strand Of
Manila rope, and his features, which were
very much distorted, were decidedly Anglo
Indian.
The body, being Vowed" refreshments
we're ordered in by Acting Coroner Reeves
and partaken Of while Acting Surgeon
Townsend proceeded to make a post-mortem
jack-knife
Acting Clerk Hopkins took notes of the
autopsy, and when the examination was
finished, read them as follows:
The deceased was Chinaman. This is
proved by his queue, which being seven feet
eight inches long, two inches thick, and Of
a bright yellow color, shows he came from
Manila. and must lave been about 10S years
old. He hasn't got any teeth, and must
have lived on chopped food. His insides
were filed with dried grass, some cid news
not well digested-aud
number of old boots aHd Il shingle or two.
1 Judge from these facts that the deceased
had been boarding for some time on the
on the Esplauade.'
By Juror MorgGn--"W What did he die OFF,
That can. say. think it was cramps
in the neck. He wasn't chukedS because
his face isn't black. When you see a dead
man that's black in the face. you may know
he's been hung"
Acting Coroner Reeves - g How about
niggers?"
To which DIR. Townsend replied-''This
man amt no niger. We haven't got any
thing to do with any other dead man than
this here Chinsman, and you'd better bring
in your verdict
This argument was convincing, and the
being all gone, and there be-
ing no other business before the jury, they
brought in the following verdict:
WHEREAS, This ef6gy of Chinaman hav-
ing been found hanging from the roof of the
Pacific Hose Company's house; and
WHEREAS, He had on, when found, pair
of Pacific" hose; therefore, be it
Resolved That the Chinaman be returned
to the Hose Company for final disposition.
Resolved That the thanks of this jury be
rendered to acting Coroner Reeves for re
freshments; and,
RESOLVED, That we adjourn to enjoy the
same.