Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-05-17
New York Hotels.

spent a whole week in a first-class
New York hotel, and yet l am not
proud. The hotel was grand, stupen-
dous beyond all description. A first
class New York hotel is more like re-
gal palace, a dream from the Arabian
Nights, than mere hash house. /
was awed by its magnificence, even be-
fore the bill was presented, then was
paralyzed. The hotel is full of marble
pillars, historical "reminiscences, stained
glass windows, elegant statuary, price,
less oil paintings, and other gems of
art, while the furniture is much too
good for king, but do think that the
proprietor should not compel the guests
to furnish their own camphor and in
sect powder. If you should ever be
SO fortunate as to attempt to sleep Q
night at first-class New York hotel,
be sure and have bottle of camphor
handy, as it is the only thing that will
take the sting out of the bites. If the
guests we're all as hungry as these reg
ular insect boarders, the sheriff would
be running the institution in q very
short time.
am very much afraid that made
an unfavorable impression on the hotel
clerk by requesting him to lend me
lemon squeezer with which to wreak
private vengeance on my tormentors
But everything else in the hotel was
SO grand as to rivet the eye permanent
ly in its socket. Being accustomed to
the simplicity of Texas hotels my life
in the New York palatial hostelrie was
very much like the realization of the
dream not of the Bohemian, precisely,
but of the bohemian Girl" in the
opera. She dreamt that she dwelt in
marble halls, with serfs and vassals at
her call. We did not dwell in the hall,
which was Of marble, however, but in
a room near the hall, which smelled
abominably of escaping gas, or rather,
of gas which was trying to escape, but
which, somehow or other, always failed.
We had vassals and serfs at our call,
but nobody ever calls them. They
could not hear If they were called ever
SO loud. When you want vassal in a
New York hotel, you push a button on
the wall, just the same as you do in
Texas. and the vassal comes. He comes
slowly and reluctantly, however, unless
he is tampered with. Half dollar is
tuo USUAL IuluS W tnihPoI WieHs ~
seems to me that the menials of the
north must all be ex-members of some
legislature. They expect to be paid
extra for everything they do. Wonder
if they can play pokerP
The dining-rOom of New York ho-
tel is SO large that you feel as if you
were camping out on q prairie. This
illusion is dispelled, however, by the
walters who stand around with their
arms folded like so many Napoleons at
st. Helena. 1t is only at distance that
they look like Napoleons. At close
range they remind one Of clergymen.
They wear black clothes and white
chokers, and there is solemnity about
the expression of their faces that is
suggestive of death and immortality.
Their habit of continually passing the
plate strengthens the impression that
you have got into an Ecumenical coun-
Gil. You hesitate to tell an archbishop
to fetch on some more buckwheat
cakes, or q second cup Of coffee. l
can't enjoy my food when there is q
doctor of Divinity looking at me so in
tently that imagine he Is thinking up
his next sermon on the sinfulness of
gluttony.
To sum up the case there is any
amount of grandeur, style, and dignity
in first-class hotel, but very little
solid comfort. I'd rather "camp out"
any time.--Aler. T.. Sweet, in Teras
SittinQS.