The Daily Tombstone., 1885-10-28
EEy.uQr of tsi< gsXS.

N'NllS'f hlN'li'' 4'''"'' '' " " sisters lover.
 A Northwest editor declines to mar ry because great mems sons hardly ever anoul.t to anything.
 Mis- .,hoddy at the scashoro-the idc coming in: "Oh, brother William, How prcvaricated the sea looks"
 X large dog now sleeps with the Czar, but ifs safe tp say he wouldn't if he knew anything about Nihilism. The world may owe a man a living, ll.t ;t is always best for him to go out and collect 1t hy little hard work. A correspondent wishes to know "how to preserve the hair" One way i, tr have t worked into Il watch chain.
 Mural llalstcad las invented new phrase. He calls the Mugwmp the ".uftshrll crab of American politics" We learn from the Mcrchant Travel Ter that ia Cincinnati young ladies ! age not always as white as they are | painted
 Guy>t-lLunic, bring me some roast @oo.o. Waitcr--l can't recclnmcnd . that to you to-day. Gucst--.Why not, then? Waitcr-Bccausc there is none?
 A Brouhlyn woman tried to drive policeman uu, of her house by hitting him with baby. She should hayt | asked him Co hold the infant for l ininutc
 in apthority on such matters says that woman may tal," a mans hand, but must not sl,a;,c it. Ii she must sl,al.c something she can shake the alan.
 T.rn was brief hut heated cor, test h-tWcrn a Burlington woman and q book agent the other day. The book agent u~c,i c%plc!.ycs and the womaA r~"d hot v'tcr.
 An Ohio paper, speaking of scnat, oriat candidate, says it has nothing againSt him personally, 'but he is no nIor" .it fer a senator than a hog to. t"ac', school.7
 Country bride Cal dinner, to hus- ..lrd. who is doing his best to eat aiA. olivc}-What's the matter with the r.un;, James? Husband (with WHY llcoD The blamcd things is spilled.
 Little boy. beware The good, kind lady who giygs you gingerbread to-day, when you come over to play with her little boys aud girls, may be your mothcr-in-law some day in the rosy future.
 The best thing real ignoramus can. de- i- to become q drunkard. Every jndy will then observe what q man he would be if he would only let whisky alone, and thousands of lies will be told for lis benefit
 'l's is .'l PN'ti tp Nplt HOW difficult it mast Iinvc been for Solo mon to propose to |; thousand maid- cns2 Shc-Ics; but not half sa diff iicult as some of tilc men oi tae pre- sent day find it to bc-to propose to one maiden.
 ht negro welding, when the min i-tcr r2ad tLc words, 'Lovc, honor, and yhc,-," the groom interrupted him, and said Read that agin, sah; read it wuncc mo- sos de lady kin kctch ti.e full solomnity of de meaning. Ise been married hcfO'."
 ;nurist-I thought some. extensive Improvements in Central Park had been projected, Proud New Yorker That's 90; they MG.c; on q most magnificent scale Tourist - Why Were they never carried out? Native Oh, the rest oi the country wouldn't subscribe the moncy'
 Prosecuting Attorney to prisoner What provocation, MT. Smith, had: you fc. shooting the deceased? Pri- soncr-lIc called me Mir. Smith in- stead of calling me Colonel smith. That's why. During the subsequen,, :, proceedings Nr. smith was rcfeysed to as General Smith.
 St. Louis Young Lady--f called on | Mrs. <. this aftcrno-1y mamma, and what do you think saw on her ebony parlor table? No,hcr-I have no idea. St. Louis Young Lady-A volume of ] Shaksncarc's "Paradist Lost v hnnnd