Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-19
BRIGHT BITS.

a HARLEM MAN has pet rat which he calls
puritan because II is a "gnaw- tickle"
thing.-Neeo York Journal.
Two JOCKEYS have been killed at horse
races in New York recently. few more
casualties of that klud and the horse trot
viii supersede base ball as tho national
game" In this country,-NorTisto HerGld.
WHAT you want" said the barber, as he
ran his fingers through the few remaining
hairs on the head Of customer-"what YOU
want Is bottle OF my hair restorer." What
| want" replied the customer, sis divorce"
Ana the barber said no more.-BOSt0n
Courier.
A CONTRIBUTION to Byddstreers, taking
Thorold Rogers as an authority, estimates the
productive capacity OF every child at $3.50.
Remarkable as this is, it is not half so re-
markable as the destructive capacity of every
child, which NAV be roughly estimated at
N,5O0.-BrOOhbgil E00le.
LADY lin an angry and shrill voice)-"Con-
ductOr. why don't you stop the car when
tell yOuF' Iras chile bachelor Conductor,
the iady wants to know why the d-v-l you
dont stop the car" Lady tmore a0grly
still) 1stf q dfst stv aO siNn' 1Trascible bache-
ldr1l''Ne, madam. bu thh1 isrwfat you meant"
'~-L9s!qma shi 31BlI 81 ~ mir
. ''MIsTRR, will you give me9h dime? I'm
very huuRttylRq JsIgiG ~ a8t g.
YES; lmiil this time, hus you must go to
=" ..Y 9m at york" iso7 usa
''YeB ,GoFsip' Just such suckers as you."-
How djd Your spfeeh 80 on last night,
Of E Sa 6sr soo got more applause than any
f" DOW was thatt There were some excel
lent ora tofs there afo.sr. trs
Yes; but you see every time my speech
began 10 lag | just mentioned the name of
Grant and the auqlepceTespOnded to a man."
GENTLENAN fwbO has just returned from
abroad)-''t was az church yesterday. deacon,
and was astopisheHSt the size of the congre-
gatIoR!e VI must hagd douhled since l went
awayH' Ilellcontya esg we think of building
al2rgeri chnr9h." Conference.-The minis
ter popularity seems 70 re rapidly inereas-
irg?" DeacohLa" Yes, since he was caught
kissing 6Be OF the singers in tile choir the
church has taken ON new lHe.p-Nelo York
euRs 'd.h aew unRGsua r9a
ToBAdcoIpAY DgEr.-ai1
Aie ss1oi9 EBh HE.l 90
M9dear, while tou prefer your SNUFF,
aA2 Good tne-eut VIII me do.
SHE:
John Henry, you have said enough!
ara .brso. III ROTH: II .t
.u A chew atchooh atchool
| stafs et as. --Aoutspitie Qogrler-JO1es''dl.
'IT doesn't seem possible.'
/ fWhat's that, my dGar2'i 1tas
" ftNt MI = hhl usJtis tHb stdbtbtlCldn. says
/ that al the people in the world conld stand in
| field ten miles Squire"
! "Well, they cotildnt'' "i-a
! "But, hubby. Mr.. "A kinsOn says So"
81 dUnf caro- If he does. You don't suppose
w0Rlan could sgn@ Ia a crowd ike thai, do
you'd sms. swwE dhcrsyrs
| why Dotf' I ~.
because nobody could see her clothes. -
| Exchange.
I 81 GREATLY admire the Americans, and
! wish you would tell them So" SAID Canon
Farrar.
Certainly" responded the reporter
| "fhey are the most wonderful people on the
| face Of the earth. would like them to know
| that that Is my opinion"
| "Certainiy"
81 shall shortly go over and lecture to those
dear friends of mine"
| "Gratis2" asked the reporter.
AT 81 head" replied the Canon.
! York Tribune.