davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
THE HoRsE-TH1EF DEMOCRAT.

A Denver telegram in Thursdays is
sue of The HERALD told of the arrest o.
one c. P. Judd for horse-stealing, ano
of his confession, as well as his con
fession to the fact that he had served
terms in the Kansas and Colorado peni-
tentiaries for horse-stealing. The in
terestIng part of the story, however, is
that Mr.. Judd, three months ago, was
appointed by President Cleveland a
special agent for Nevada of the National
Labor Bureau, his recommendation for
the Office being signed by several we'll
known Democrats of Colorado
The Republican organs will make
a palatable feast of this ex-
posture, just as they have
done whenever a bad appointment has
been made by the President. 1t is not
absolutely necessary that President
shall put bad men into office, but it has
always seemed impossible to avoid do
ing so occasionally. There never was
President who avoided being imposed
upon in the matter of appointments.
The President cannot possibly know a
fiftieth part of the men that he must
commission; he is compelled to listen to
the recommendations of others, and it
is somewhat surprising that the execu-
tive is not oftener imposed upon.
One difference that we expect to note
between Republican and Democratic
presidents is that, whereas the former
insisted on keeping the known thieves
and rascals in Office as long as they
served the party well and contributed
of the stolen money, the latter
will get rid of the rogues as soon as they
find them out. Itwould be wiser on the
part of the Republicans to refrain from
such errors as that of the APP
pointment of the horsethief Jndd, until
it is known whether there are to be any
Democratic whisky rings, any Customs
house Rugs, any official frauds in the !
Navy Department and any wholesale
stealing by Democratic Indian agents,
and all sustained and encouraged by the
Democratic administration.
Mr.. Cleveland can be excused for now
md then putting rascal into Office if
lie will kick him out as soon as he
earns the facts, and this latter he will be
to do.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14

{ IN READING AND FILING THE PETT.
" ton OF W. Bredemeyer, executor of the
last VIII and testament OF Annie Nav Brede.
meyer, deceased, setting forth that he has
MED his final account of his administrst ;oT
upon said estate in this Court: that ail'tbe
debts have been fully paid, and that q nor
ton OF said estate remains to be dividad
among the heirs ,of said deceased. and nro,,l
ing, among other things, for an order ~
distribution of the residue of sa;d ast. "
among the persons entitled, ''a'e
1t is ordered that all persons interested :,
the estate of the said Annie Nav Rad ~
meyer, deceased, be and appear before t,'o
Probate Court of the County of Salt Ieta we &c
the Courtroom of said Court. in the Co,,,,,t az
Courthouse, on the 5th day of Sentayebayy
1885, at 10 O'Clock am, then and tha-a =,
show cause why said account should NOT he
settled and order of distribution sho, Is
not made of the residue OF said estate sn,o,,e.
the heirs and devisees of the said Ann;ss
May Bredemeyer, deceased, accordinn ~
law. 10
1t is further ordered that the Clark oor.
copies OF this order be pos ed in three ,,abI;e
places ia Salt Lake County and nnbI;SbnS
In The SALT LAKE DAILY HERALD' q ,,a,,,S
paper printed and circulated in Salt Ials
county. three weeks prior 20 said 5th dev of
Septem Der. 1856. "a
ELIAS A. SMITH.
100 Probate Judge.
"'eu a ust -os'' ioeo aul4
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
CRUEL SATIRE.

One of the keenest bits of satire tina
we have seen in many day is the fol
lowing. which appeared in the editoria
columns of the New York Herald on tn,
4th instant under the heading of "a
Possible Mistake"
The Rev. DR.. Newman will to-day de
liver funeral sermon to the little circle
OF mourners who will be gathered in the
cottage on Mount McGregor. As all the
world knows, he is one of the most mod.
est men living and the least appreciated
by the people of this country. OF an
extremely retiring and diffident nature,
as sensitive to the rude blasts of criti-
cism as the,mimosa is to cold northerlv
breeze, he must be terribly embarrassed
by the prominence into which the
nations sorrow has thrust him. 1t
would not be through any self-esteem
on his part, but through a frightful
blunder on the part of the printer, if
that sermon should appear in print as
The Sermon on the Mount, BY ]. P.
Newman"
DR.. Newman will hardly be able to
appreciate the above, but his country
men do not fail to comprehend its keen.
ness and force.
Great as has been the nations loss in
the death of General Grant, the indi-
vidual who has most cause to mourn
the departure of Grant is this same Rev.
DR.. Newman, who chung about the neck
of the General, these twenty years,
much of the time to the scandal if not
the annoyance of the old soldier. The
death of Grant puts an extinguisher on
to the parson, who will now have to hoe
his own row, without the ability to do so
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
How to Consult DR.. Foote, Sen.
by Mail. + - -

DR.. Foote, Senior. author of "Plaln
Home Talk" 90 Medical Common
Sense" etc., etc., would say to those
who would like to consult him by mail
that they can have a list of questions
and circular of gratuitous advice by
addressing Box Ala Salt Lake City. The
doctor has arranged to have such in
formation supplied in this way to save
time. Receiving such printed matter
the correspondent can describe his or
ner case fully and direct it to the doctor
IN New York. DR.. Foote is successfully
treating all forms of chronic diseases,
specially to which he has devoted thirty
years OF study and practice. Evidences
o. his success can also be had by adj
dressing Box Ala, as above, but all
letters. OF consultation and orders for
remedies should be addressed to DR.. E.
3. Foote, Sr., 100 Lexington Avenue,
free.
An advertisement of DR.. Foote. ST..
in the Sunday and Wednesday editions
deserves attention.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
LEGAL NOTICE.
In the Probate Court in ami for Salt Lake
County. Territory of Utah.
In the matter of the estate OF Emma Weston
deceased, formerly the wife of
James Slater.

NOTICE Is HEREBY GIVEN THAT
~ William Bredemeyer, administrator OF
the estate OF Emma Weston, deceased, for
merly the wife of James Slater, has rendered
Tor settlement and fled in said Court his
hnal account of his administration of said
estate and petition for distribution. and that
the fifth day of September, A. d. 1885, at 10
oclo q. M. at the Courtroom of said Court.
in the City of Salt Lake, County of Salt Lake
ana Territory OF Utah, has been duly ap-
pointed by said Court for the settlement Of
said account and distribution, at which time
and place any person interested in said
estate may appear and show cause. if any
there be, why said account should not be
Sc tied and approved and distribution made
Dated August 10th, 1885.
JOHN c CUTLER,
aus Clerk Probate Court.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
NOTICE.

THE MOUNTAIN CHIEF MINING CON
i pany hereby gives notice to caution Al
persons from negotiating for the purchase O
assignment OF certain promissory mote
given by the Mountain Chief Mining Com
pany, in favor OF Thomas Pierpont and A
K. Whitehead, for the sum of twelve thou
sand dollars $4,000, bearing date NoveIn
Der 18th. 1884, and secured by a deed 81
rust of said date to Joseph C. Bentley, OF St
George, Utah, as the said note and deed OF
trust were fraudulently obtained, and paw.
ment will be contest d.
w. B. PACE,
President of the Mountain Chief Mining
Company.
ST. GEORGE. UTAH,
July 2Sth, 1885. "a
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
NOTICE.
OFFICE OF MOUNTAIN CHIEF MINING
COMPANY,

UFFICE OF MOUNTAIN CHIEF MINING
COMPANY,
ST. GEORGE. UTAH, July 29th, 1856.
To IihOm 1t Nay Concern:
THERE ARE DELINQUENT UPON THE
i 1oll wing described stock, on account
OF assessment No. 2, levied June the 18th, AID
1855, the several amounts set opposite the
names of the respective shareholders. and
in accordance with law and an order of our
board OF trustees, made June the 18th, 1885.
so many shares of each parcel of such
'ock as may be necessary will be sold at
bic auction, at the Office of the Company,
Gorge City, Utah, on Monday, August
III, 1885, unless payment be previously
10 pay the delinquent assessment
end cost of advertising and ex-
sale. Sale to commence at 10
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14

JUDGE ZANE is supposed to examine
and approve the accounts of the fee
tends, in order that they can get their
money, He does the latter. but how
about the former?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14

Is LESS than three months two of the
lee lends will be gone, and the third
wiilsiiave SO little to do that he Will be
willing to go out Of the industry.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14

TER DAILY HERALD Is published every
morning, Mondays excepted, at The
ET1aLD Block, corner West Temple and
Yirgt South Streets, Salt Lake City, by THE
HFpALD PRINTING and PUBLISHING COM
yksY. subscription price, 1880 per
snnum. postage included; parts OF the
Tesr at tfs same rate. To weekly sub
tcribers. collections made by carriers
5 cents week.
rzz sEx1-wEEKLY HERALD is published
every wednesday and Saturday morning,
sts2.5o a year; six months, Sl-75; pestsge
included.
rzy WEEKLY HERALD is published every
TIursdav morning at 500 a year; six
1oopths, LIS, postage included
susscs1BEas win CONFER favor by for
werding information TO this efnce wnen
their papers are not duly delivered.
This will greatly. aid us in our efforts to
deteruli2e where the fault lies
ALL Mail Communications intended Tor
his Office should be addressed to
THE HERALD,
Salt Lake City, Utah,
and not to individuals.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
The 18th District School

WILL COMMENCE MONDAY. AUGUST
w 18th. with David R. Allen principal
Pupils should start at the beginning of the
I II I { +. i E Ez$R} Trustees
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
In the matter of the estate of Annie NAV
Bredemeyer,

Order appointing time and place 10 hear
petition for distribution
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
MISCELLANEOUS
Notice Of Stockholders Meeting.

THE UNDERSIGNED sToCKHoLDERs
i OF the WAsATcH MINING COMPANY
hereby call meeting of the stockholders al
said company u meet he Goth dsv %.
August, 1855, at O'Clock p. m, at y. ".
Clayton's office, in Salt Lake City, Utah. 10:
the purpose of electing trustees OF said com
pany to serve fox the remainder q the pr-
rent term of office.
Dated, August 9TH. 1885
SAMUEL RITTER,
/. E. RITTER ESTATE, per S f.,
MoRoNI REESE,
REESE ESTATE, per N. E. FELL,
II b. CLAwsoN, JR.,
JOHN r. WINDER, JR.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14

In testimony whereof witness my
}sp., hand and seal Of said Corporation
at st. George City, Utah, this 18th
day of July, 1885.
JOHN W. LIVINGSTON,
Secretary.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-08-14
LEGAL NOTICE.

la the Probate Court in and for Salt Lake
County, Territory of Utah.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-04
BRIGHT BITS.

SOCIETY eIRL-"My GEAR Miss Mcsiddons.
how you must adore your art. You seem
perfectly wrapped up in 1t. love to see you
gaze upward in thai soulful way of yours
when you come TO particularly emotional
passa es. Are yor seeking Inspiration when
you look like that"
Emotional actress--"Oh, no; 1 am Just
counting the receipt in the gallery
''Canst thou CHERISH me, Martha2"
Yea, if 10 be the Lords Will"
And wilt thou wed with me, my sweet
Yea, verify, as the Lord is my shepherd"
Es5--"t an you love me, Maud?"
well, should shulder."
AND wllEyou marry me. dearest2"
what are you giving us"- Chicago
Ledger.
"MY DEAR SIR, could negotiate the trans
fer of a dime from YOU this morning." asked
a hungry looking AMI dirty individual of a
pnllanthTopic gentleman. "Pm afraid you
would spend it for whisky" replied the gem
tleman, / oling rather obviously at the beg
gar. Indeed, l pledge you my honor l
WON'T" he replied. After the dime had been
transferred the begsar was heard to mutter
to himself: WHISKY such a dag! Not much:
prefer beer. PtttS6WTg --Chr0aicIe- TeLe-
GrGDh.
TaE VERY MAN He WANTED. Stranger
DoRt you want 10 hire man? Coal dealer
We'll, want weigher. Have you any ref
ereneesP 7sSorTy 10 say / haven't; hut 1t
business to obtain references. c. D.-What
business have yoW been inf S.--PlI be honest
with you; I've beeu pugilist. but Eve re
tired from the business. l was champion of
the light weiehts &. D.-Chsmpion OF the
light Weigh's2 You're the very man want
come in.-B0Sto1l Courier.
MRS. MrGGs-"O, Henry, I fear you love
me no longer
Mr.. Musg.-"W hat Abolish idea"
Mrs. Muggs-"NO, it isn't. We have been
married year. ana you are perfectly indif-
tercnt 10 me. l can remember when YOU
loved me madlv. Now gu never speak of
love--never refer to the past"
MIR. u e. " eli, ny aeaf, there's a rea-
son f'rit just now Pm dealing % heavily in
futures that / haven't time To think of the
pas" --PbthadeiJlhiG CaJj.
WHAT SHE THOUGHT
He fingered on the doorstep,
And pressed her little hand,
And with tene er ferv0r
Her lovely face he scanned.
few soft words he murmured,
And then he TOOK TO flight,
But not before she babe lin
Return tomorrow night.
She watched him as he vanished
Aud gave a sigh oriorn:
Then thought with JOY ecstatic,
II ii glad the fool is gone.'
TIE HUNTER
\ go out-a- hunting young man;
A gamebaS-and boot young man;
a love for his ride that nothing can stihe,
A something tp snoot young Iuan.
Acome-back-creetrallen young man,
Bedraggied- and lame young man,
Wlh his rifle anu Rover he sought the field
This Drought back mo- game young man,
A stay in the house young man,
Avoiding his-friends young man,
With swallow Of whlskey to make him feel
This laug that ofTends young man.
columbus Dispatch,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-04
Maria ROze's First Love.
E.n,,. IA Pnatn,, H..1,ld


Several years ago there went from Boston
young man, gifted with fine baritone voice.
- study in he conserval ire at Munich. This
young American, Mr.. julius Perk ms was not
only pos essed Of a good voice, but was a man
of culture and a very handsome man. Hard
work brought its reward, and Mr.. Perkins
debut before a critical audience at Munich
was altogether successful. and from that time
on his career was onward.
IL was while singing ia London that he was
thrown professionally into the society of
Marie Il re, then young aud beautiful and i'm
the zenith Of her fame. The old story The
petted American soon found himself madlv i'm
love with the charming Marie. His wooing
like his singing, was or wned with success
and the two artists were married.
They were very happy for BRIEF honey
moon, but AZ the end Of few weeks the youna
BRIDE was left widow Mr.. Perkins TOOK q
severe cold while sleeping In a damp ill-aired
room NJ Birmingham, and. after an illness OF
only few days, died. Poor Marie was neon
solahle for time, but her art was her com.
fOrter, and IN the appl use OF her audience
she found some consolation in her hours M
loneliness and grief. She is now second
time happy wife.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-04
An InvItation TO Sam lone.

Sam Jones Ia headed for Chicago where he
proposes to boil down the labors OF Hercules
into one stupendous achievement nv con.
verttng the town. The Chicago Ne,os yivea
him this welcome and some advance polnts.
"Chicsgo Is essentially American. and tba
American is esse TALLY Yankee The shaping.
moulding influence IN tui,. great community
rs the Yankee nfuence--broadened, undoubt
edly. by experience In this mighty. busv
West, but Yankee still; yes, Yankee AZ heart
and In brain ard muscle. The Yankee =
made Chicago, and, having shaped he viii
direct ChlcagO's destiny. H. il shrewd and
courageous, and down underneath his shrewd
ness and courage there Is a streak Of Puritan
ism that Is better than all the rest. For
Puritanism In u man Is like leaVen in A LOAF
and we have no fear for him who Is streas ed
with II. So, come 10 see rs. sam Jones and
dwell with u.s. We're not beyond redemn
ton, we know, for running clean through The
most Of us is that everlasting strpAx OF Puri-
tanism the Yankee may at first denv. INT
which he some time learns o. glory IN. Our
mothers worshipped in Puritanic fauea. ana
we venerate their memory. And we hold
this to he an eternal truth: That he who re
members mother, and who mas kDelt at moth
er's side, cherishes ever in his heart An
homage Tor the purity, the sweetness, and
the goodness VI religion"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-04
From the Chicago NsaCs.


II thought I'D come here to-day Just for a
joke" said trim, bright-eyed young man in
the prisoners cage OF The coUny jail yester-
day Its very interesting to see the prison.
ers enjoy their Thanksg Wing dinners. Poor
devils, they don't have much fun. But can't
stay any longer 20 watch them"
He moved up close TO the grated door and
motiOned TO tie turnkey to let him out. The
turnkey did not appear TO notice him.
~ say, think I'll go now" said the young
man, briskly.
The turnkey took a chew Of tobacco and
sighed pc nsively.
Here, be gu ok, will your" the young man
exclaimed. 81 want to get home to dinner"
"Oh. stop your fOoling," sal the turnkey,
YEARLY. II know you. You're John CASEY
and you're in here to stay That trick Of
yours is awful Old. Green prisoners try that
old racket on me every day"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-04
where is Mr.. Barnum now

From the Syracuse Herald.
A baby mermaid j. on exhibition in Edward
W. Thomas store at the corner of West and
-lffOrd streets. II is the property of William
A. Lawrence, who lives at No. 10 Sabine
street, and Is the mate Of the one recently
sold to Cornell University for $780, In ap-
pearance 1t has ab>Olutely nothing in con-
mon with the tabled beings Of pagan antiqui.
ty. The nesh has been dried TO the bones
aud the wings, intended by nature as a cover
ing and protection for the body, are folded
back, the head-piece standing mp very promI-
nently. The mouth Is large and partly open
showing two rows Of sharply pointed white
teeth. The expression OF The face, which
bears a faint suggestion OF resemblanc To- the
similar feature IN the human anatomy, is vi
clous ana almost fer ci0us The legs are long
slender and furnished at the eXtremitles with
web-like formations that IN their dried condi-
ton are not unlike dol's feet. The length
of the creature from the head to the tip OF the
tail is about sixteen inche..
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-04
PERSONAL.


Mr. TALMAGE's tabernacle now has s,272
members.
Ma STURGEON follows he birds from wintrv
Britain to the south Of France.
S. s. Cox is to write story about Turkish
life for the YOUTHS Companion.
MR.. MOODY viii carry the evangelical war
into Mr.. Beecher's Brooklyn next weeK.
Mr.. ~wGNBURNE has undertaken the article
on webster" for the "Encyc1op9dia Britain
nica."
The late Vernon p. Moves, of Burlington,
Vt, left an estate Of s., 100000, over which his
kinsmen have gone to law.
IT'S UNDERSTOOD to be the Queens pleas
ure that the Jubilee OF her reign shall not be
from her accession. 'rhat period will be sc-
complished on June 20, lsS1.
Miss VIRGINIA McAFEE owns in Holmes
county one OF the most prosperous plantations
in Mi sissippi, which she manages wholly her
sell, and prides herref on making the finest
corn crop in the YazOo valley.
THE veteran Mai. Ben; Perley Poore Will
b gin next week nis hity-niDth year as
newspaper correspondence Washington, and
he Is also collecting his experiences Ia n vol
ume of which the author will be Poore and
the "reminiscences rich.
FRANK II. HAGGERTY. not yet IS, Is a young
Scotchman from Aberdeen, who was a brake
ID tkota in 1880. Aud alsb went into land &C.
ulallOn. banking and STOCK raising, Is alleged
10 have cleared 100000 within five years.
A. b. SAWYER. an English INSPECTOR Of
mines, considers that the temperature at the
depth Of ~ lie from the surface Will probably
reach lz2 degrees FAIR, and that. therefore,
long before that temperature ~ reached com
pressed mir wall nave TO be employed Tor re.
.ducing the tenn perature In the workings and
for Assfsttug thU vena'atOn.
JuLrAvE. RALPH, who is fAyorably known
10 urnaiisIn a. tbs Writ.r OF humorous
sketches n brolgen English. has finally deiv-
cred "A lecture in a small New England town,
tits sad TO ne NE that bis Jokes were 20 well
received ~ to- euclnrare him, perhaps, TO re-
main permanently III the lecture field. And
yet SIC. Rbiph Ht 0no time was man OF great
promise. .Fr "a - ~
Mu,AN the 4ft . Servia. Is n distant rela-
tive ~ tirr FORMER Prince OF that country. lis
mother wits = w Rllachian. ana on his fathers
death she became the Madame de POmpadour
OF Prince. COuzu. who WAS then Prince OF Ron
ma6lar On (ou1HneinE eNiled he Travelled
n6ndt Eufbpe With ldilpompadonr and young
MILAN. s|rhe Sefv ans II left TO themselves y
saw LaB0uch. le lsgfomd ret rid of him to-
morrow. piierrHatuFe Is what might bee an d.
ti,ipatel from hlabruging uD-a mixture Of
"A fu Opeau uciitcrcge and peasant Of the
ILaiaihe. iNihfln(l the IurcO- russian war
M auuouncud thitihe would lead his army.
bat he tookiSuiJ gd1lti care 10 keep out Of
danger"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-04
HARD, BUT TRUE.
An Alleged Aneodote of Horace Greeley
and Stanley Huntley.


From the Neeo York Graphic.
Tho late Stanley Huntley, once reporter
on the Tri5wne, was sent TO report a meeting
Of the Farmers club, whose members got into
a quarrel over a new kind of potato. and the
reporter lit was his first journalistic efortl
gave very funny account of it, which. not
finding the city editor in when he went down
TO the nfice, he sent up stairs in the regular
way. The next day the article appeared on
the first page OF the Tribune, and young Hunt
lev thought he had "struck it rich'' in his new
situation, and promptly looked forward TO
being made managing editor of the journal.
When he arrived at the ofice and entered
the city room, he noticed smile spread over
the other reporters faces, but, attributlng It
to jealousy, he calmly seated himself at his
desk. In a few m nGtes, Mr.. Moore, the city
editor, called him and said thaJ Mr.. Greeley
wanted 10 see him. Swelling with pride, and
casting look OF triumph around the room.
the young reporter walked out of the office
into Mr.. Greeley's office. The door was clos
ed. lie raped gently.
Mr. Huntley did so. Mr. Greeley was seat
ed at his desk. writing. He waited patiently
until he finished. Then the oil gentleman
wheeled around in his chair aud said:
well, sir. what can | do for your
"Iou sent for me, sir"
"For you? What ia your nameW
STANLEY Huntley."
20! so You are he blamed fool who wrote
up that Farmers clubY'
The hones Of the future humorlst expert
enced sudden decline. He would now be
satisfied with the city editorship.
"Why did, you do it?"
''They acted disgracefully, sir"
Yes, know it; but what did you do with
your cOpyY'
II showed it In hole in the wall and whis-
tied t~ ice."
"Young man, how long have you been on
the press?"
Twenty -four hours, sir"
"Wel, sir" said the itor, "you didn't
know, of course. what he rules of our office
are. but you oughtn't to have written that re-
port, deed you oughtn't to. OF course, they
are a pack Of fools. They always have been;
hut you shouldn't have said 80 in he Tribune.
Young man, I'm the President of that club"