The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS,

Women, as a rule, are not inven i've.
They have no eagerness for new wrink>
les.
Paradoxical but truc-When carpen-
ter goes on strike he doesn't use his
hammer. York Journal.
After all, the English campaign in the
Soudan cannot be called prophetless
ST. Paul Herald.
Hyperbole: Auctioner Selling town
property)-''Why, gentlemen, the very
atmosphere's worth the money"
"Well, my young gentleman, how
would you like your hair cut2'' ooh.
like papa's, please; with little round
hole at the top"
busy to run to the pallor window to
look at a neighbor with new bonnet
Fall l2irer 44dyance.
When girl marries a profligate he
rings her hand on the wedding day, and
no; long afterward she rings her own
hands.-C Cticago Ledger.
Day breaks upon the world,
And people rise from sleep;
Man goes off to his toll,
And wom an stays to-sweep.
Boston Courier.
An ass may be able to get satisfactory
banquet out of thistles; but if he under
took a good thin shad with the bones
we'll exposed, we should bet on the shad.
Puck.
An anxious inquirer asks: ''Where
would you advise me to go to learn how
to play the piano?" To the woods, dear;
to the deep, dark, damp, dangerous
woods. s.-Boston Post.
There is considerable likeness between
babies and wheat. They both are era
died, raised, threshed, sold, generally
ground up, often badly mixed, and even
tually planted.-Patck.
Insanity, says writer, is much more
prevalent among women than among
men. We don't wonder at it, it's enough
to break down any woman to have man
night after night get into bed without
taking off the eshams.-RocklandC Courier
Gazette.
"Will the hair grow after death2" is q
question that is being agitated by scien-
tific people. This depends good deal
upon whose death it is. We have known
a mans hair to grow right along, after
his wife was laid away in the silent tomb.
-Siftings.
eyes, it may be angel cake" said
Jones, who had been persuaded by his
best girl to test her culinary abilities,
ssbut for the last two nights since tasted
itIrve seen more little hobgoblins, snakes,
wild cats and spooks than would crowd
seven-story pandemonium.-St. Paul
Herald
Just as lover had dropped on his
knees, and began popping the question,
a pet poodle, who thought the proceed
in gs rather strange, made dash for him.
With a remarkable nerve for woman
the girl reached over, seized the dog by
the neck. and, at the same time, calmly
uttered: ':Go on, George, dear; I'm list
ening to what you are saying. ."-ChscGgo
j Tribune.
so like the mild spring air, =" said
Deacon Gilpin, as he sat down on squire
McGill's porch floor the other morning
for friendly chat GLOW fresh 1t makes
everything seem. Do you know OF any
thing fresher than the gentle sPrlng
zenhyr?" ssNo, l don't know as does"
replied the squire, "unless it is that ERE
paint you're sitting in. 'Tain't been on
the floor over two hours. ."-Aarathon In
| dependent.
IMPROVED QUOTATIONS..
| Roll on, thou giddy roller-skater, rolli
| Ten thousand folks fall over thee in vain.
Too late stayed-forgive the crime
Unheeded few the hour;
| How noiseless falls the foot OF Timel
Your fathers has more power.
! There is tide in the affairs Of men
| That goes to par and tumbles back again.
| shot an arrow into the air;
| It fell to earth knew not where:
] But the man whose hen it CHANGED TO Kill
Came in next day, and paid the bill