Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-16
SMUGMUGGERY.
The Astonishing Changes Which Resul
from Removal OF beard and Mustache.

The Astonishing Changes Which Result
from Removal of Beard and Mustache.
A wave Of smugmuggery is engulfng
the land. To those who do not know
what the scientific term smugmuggery
means, l might explain that it refers to
those who transform themselves into
smugwumps by shaving off their whisk-
ers and mustaches. 1t is a barber's
boomer boon, rather. The result of
this freak of fashion is that whiskers
and mustaches are disappearing with
rapidity that is bewildering. A per-
son passes his best friend and fails to
recognize him-all on account of his
smugmug.
l desire to point out some of the dis
asters that have occurred through the
slavish following of this new fashion. |
don't suppose that l shall be able TO
check this growing evil, but the in.
stances that have come to my knowl-
edge may serve as a warning to some
who have not yet become smugwumps.
There was John G. Stivers, for ill.,
stance. Stivers wore a long, black
beard topped by mustache, and you
doubtless have noticed when you spoke
TO I'm about anythlng that lie had tue
haOlt OF striking MS long DIacE beard
slowly in way that certainly left the
impression that Stivers was II deep-a
very deep thinker know that was
the effect 1t had on me- remeiAOer
few weeks ago meeting him. saying;
"Well, Mr. Stvers' LOOKS as II we We're
go ng to have Russian WARP
StiverS stroked his beard thought
July, ana sald:
Yes 1t LOOKS that way. But
well, you wat lew DAYS.
Now, said l to myself as left him,
there man who has studied the
Afghan matter in all Its bearings. No
flippant opinion there.
well, OF course you've seen Stivers
since he shaved! The weak, irresolute
mouth and recedIng chin is now in full
view. l happen to know that in very
short time he was to have been taken in
as a partner in the house of Ready,
Made d Co., the clothiers' whose con-
fidential clerk he has been for SO many
years -manager might say. Now he
thinks his whole trouble arises from the
fact that, when he went into the e.tab-
lishment just after shaving Mr. Made
approached him smilingly and said:
Anything we can show you to-day,
sir?" OF course it made big laugh
when the clerks saw that old Made had
been trying 10 sell somethingt to his own
manager, but that was not the trouble.
Mr.. Ready himself told me that it as
tonished him to think they had ever
sought the advice OF such man, and oil
course now any mistakes that had nap
pened in over purchase and that sort Oh
thing were laid to the charge oil StverS
suggestions. Now he Is out oil employ
mcnt, and no one ever preiixes thu
Mr." to his namr. 1t is pitiful u
, see the way his hand wanders almlcssll
around his smooth face searching 10
the lost beard,
Then there was DR.. Schuyler Brown
He saw his mistake in time, and ha
left the city till his beard grows OF
again. HIS patients positively refuse
to be prescribed for by SO boylsh look
ing man. BY the time he lost half hi
practice the facts OF the case dawned OIL
t him, and his leaving Will doubles
, bring back patients and beard.
l see by the papers that Mrs. Slmp
kins Calendar has got her divorce iron
poor Simpklns, Of course the yer
Q sight of his smugmug in court wa
t enough to turn the case against him
9 Simpkins wasn't bad-looking tello'
i when bearded ike a pard' but IN
!, transformation was something awful
s Why the man was idiotlc enough !
shave is mystery to his friends. II
ought 10 nave remembered no" II
looked without beard :,
a The fashion spares neither old no
young. met ola John mortimer yes
terday out Tor the irst Time IN thre
weeks, anu ne iookei haSgaru WIN I'll
: gray stubble oil three weeks gr0w,t
on his lace; l thinK IL served Jon
right L told MN q m0nIh ago th'
that brutal dog would XIII somepou
8 yet; but Mortimer thought because u
dog knew nm 1t was all right IL wa
useless TO tell ola mortimer that ~
brute haa selected samples mp. Oh 'n ne e, o
% ing OF every irIelu lh"V H uW9 .he GU
e age TO caIl az tne mouse Wheh .he o.
man came nome 'hat highI shave
smooth the dog aiu NOT recognize mn
n and so kept nm up tne tree IN the iroi
yard TIL Mrs Mortimer ana youn
John came nome from 'he shgln
meeting. Young John would ma,
t. brought, nm down from inc tree WIZ
his revolver, TOO II he had mad 1t WI
t, him, for the old man was SO hoatse WI
D shoutlhg th"I ne couli NOV sPcah aoo'
whisper, and they thought lie was
o freed tramp
1t is rather curious now the scar Q
the upper up OF that McAdam VINO VI
arrested last week Tor the Cn'cago q
he iaication led 10 MS oelhg luen'l.e