Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-10-01
October I. 1888.
HERE AND T6ERg

Mother Hubbardville is the name Of a
railway station in Georgia.
Jumbo's skeleton is to be placed on exhi-
btion in the Smithsonian Institute
Ayers Sarsaparilla, sending pure blood to
the brain, gives a sound mind in a sound
body.
Harold, the sire of Maud 5, yet lives in
Woodburn, Ky. He is 2l years old and
quite vigorous.
We trust Roach will be square and pay
his creditors the 200 cents on the dollar that
his assets prove.
A lawyer and his wife constitute law
firm in Dubuque, Iowa, and the wife is the
senior member. Dover has a like legal firm.
-Doccr DeL Sentinel
A prominent mathematician wife has
presented him with a pair of twins. He
has now attained the full sum of human
happiness, with two TO carry.
We have often wondered what language
it was which the mule speaks so melodious
ly, and after much study we are forced to
the conclusion that it is the He-bra-ic.
The Syracuse Herald says: The Mon
treal authorities are making provision for
the spread OF the small l-pox." This, then.
accounts for the large number of cases there.
When it comes to buying whisky dem
ocrat wants the worth Of his nty.--Indi-
annapolis Times. And he generally gets it if
the barkeeper Is not a republican.-Courir-
Journal
A New Jersey citizen declared he should
enjoy his own funeral very much Though
he would appear as a silent spectator, be
cause he belonged to nineteen different Sc
cret societies.
As drug clerk the female is not brill
liant success. When you wink at her across
a soda fountain she doesn't know whether
to put a little Balm of Gilead in your soda,
or hang her head and blush.
The Raleigh Netcs rejects with scorn the
libel on Confederate soldiers by the north
eru artists, which consists in depicting them
with long hair. The soldiers that went
from Raleigh wele particularly cropped.
"Pa, who was Shylocl; ?" Patertamilias
with a look of surprise and horror: Great
goodness, boy You attend church and
Sunday school every week, and don't know
who Shylock was? Go and read your Bible,
sir"
Stockton teacher to boy in grammar class.
John, correct the following sentence 1t
are very cold.
John, as he wipes the perspiration from
his forehead with his shirt-sleeye: It are
burned hot
One of Foote's jokes--a great writer Of
English comic plays-was at the expense of
the house Of lords. On being asked of what
material the Richmond bridge was to be he
replied: "Of stone, of course; we have wood
en- peers enough already"-Boston Troa-
script
The name Of Saratoga is derived from an
old Indian name, Se-rqch-ta-gaa, meaning
the hillside country of the great river. 1t
lies near the eastern edge Of the State and
is bordered by the Hudson and Mohawk
rivers. The village of Saratoga Springs Is
in its centre.
ooh" exclaimed Miss Daubwell, what
a clever man that Mr.. Fogg Is, lie is real
~ quite physiognomist was telling him
last evening that bad become quite prof.
cient in painting, and he said: am sure Of
it, madame; your face shows it," Chorus
-"Indeedr7
Ny dear" demonstrated a wife Peering
out from under the bed clothes, 81 do wish
you would use the word sbeol.' It sounds
better"
It may sound better at times" replied
her husband who was noisily nursing his
heel, - but when man steps on tack he
wants to use the old version"
An exchange says that a very pretty
cover for a milking stool is made Of golden
brown silk serge, with a conventionalised
apple blossom in shaded pink silk with the
stammens in gold six between the petals"
We now understand Why milk i adnlterat-
ed. Without the admizture Of water, no
milkman could afford 10 sport six milking
.tool, with conventionalized apple blossoms.