The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-10-24
THE UMBRELLA
Mr., Thompson Undergoes Wonder
full Transformat ion-Wa II Only y
Dream.

The UMBRELLA
Mr., Thompson Undergoes a Wonder
full Observation-Disclosures II Only
Dream
MIR. Thompson was. in meditative
and rather revengeful mood. He had
just purchased new silk umbrella with
a curiously carved ivory head and the
young man who boarded in the house
had whispered at the dinner table that
.'the head on the umbrella looks Just
like Thompson.
Now Mr. Thompson is not hand
some man, nor does he lay claims to
beauty, but he hardly thought he looked
like the grotesque face carved on the
ivory umbrella handle. SO he sat in
his easy-chair and stared al livery hard.
The umbrella stood in The corner and
stared back with its beady eyes until
MIR. Thompson was startled by seeing
it wink He rubbed his eyes very hard.
and looked again, and to his surprise
the umbrella repeated the wink. This
time Mr.. Thompson could not be mis-
taken; il was wink OF the most ag
gressivc character-an impudently ia
miliar wink. Mr.. Thompson shuddered
in anticipation of something unpleas-
ant about TO happen; he did not exactly
know what and he began to wonder
what il could be. The umbrella winked
again. This was more than Mr.. Tbomp-
son could stand.
Whom are you winking ats" he
exclaimed, angrily. You are too
familiar, sir-too familiar.
''Humphr' answered the umbrella,
contemptuously. You needn't be
stuck up because you own me. That
Young fellow said that we look like
brothers"
He did, chp" growIed Mr.. Thomp-
son. 'pd like to break you over his
head"
Now. there yod CO. said the UNI
brella. That is the disadvantage Of
being an umbrella, You get loaned,
and lost, and broken, aud can't do a
thing to protect yourself. wish / was
a man" and the umbrella sighed
deeply.
Here was new phase OF the ques-
ton. and Mr.. Thompson was inter-
ested.
There are many disadvantages in
being man. he said, in an argument
alive tone. las an umbrella you have
no bills to pay, no bores to avoid, no
impudent young men to annoy you.
You are carefully treated, and your
mission in life is beneficial one. How
many lovers you may shelter from the
rain! Your lot is one to be envied."
.Oh, yes; that is all very pretty in
theory: all your theories are pretty"
growled the umbrella. 1.-The trouble
Is, they haven't solid foundation OF
fact. II you think it so delightful, per-
haps you would like to try it for awhile
You wouldn't change fer anything. :"
.'Yes, | would" exclaimed Mr..
Thompson, hastily.
'Its CO." shouted the umbrella.
Mr. Thompson recognized the phrase
Young man who boarded in the Louise,
but had no time to think of anything
more, for he suddenly found himself
standing in the corner, and to his dis
gust he saw the umbrella sitting in the
chair. Mr.. Thompson was compelled
TO admit that there was a likeness, and
was about to remark TO that. effect,
when there was q knock on the door,
the umbrella said ''Come in, and Miss
Angelina entered.
/ 'Oh; Mr.. Thompson she exclaimed,
1--we got to run around to Sixth av-
enue to get some tape, and its raining,
and it is getting so late"'
Mr.. Thompson was about to answer,
but the umbrella was ahead of him.
III you will accept my protection. ,
it said, Il should be most happy, and
| you see ] have new umbrella and
/ IL glanced maliciously toward poor
Mr.. Thompson, who suddenly real
lied that on account of his
change of shape he was unable
to move without being carried. Miss
Angelina ran out to get her bonnet and
waterproof, and the umbrella put OIL
Mr.. Thompson rubber coat and hat.
and taking Mr.. Thompson under hi
arm, went to the front door to await
her coming. 1t was then that poor MIR
Thompson realized the bitterness of be-
ing an umbrella
To shield Miss Angelina from the rair
was in itself pleasure; but to b
obliged to listen to the chatter OF the
odious umbrella which had taken hi'
shape. TO see her leaning confidingly OF
its arm, and to hear it saying pretty
things to her, was too much. But he
was powerless. aud he got through the
shopping somehow.
On the way home it had stopped
raining, and the umbrella carried Mr.
Thompson under its arm at an angle o.
about forty-five degrees, in imminen
danger of poking some ones eyes on
with his brass ferrule. Twice poor Mr.
Thompson was forgotten in dry-good.
store, once he was taken at the door BY
an Objectionable little boy. and pushed
into rack with leather strap and I
brass check around his neck, alongside
of umbrellas of high and low degree
squeezed between natty dude, sill
covered, with a silver head, and a fadet
plebeian green bingham.
At last he was taken home. but in
stead of being taken upstairs to hi
room, he was carelessly left in thu
boarding-house hat-stand, while thu
umbrella went into the parlor; present
ly he was taken upstairs and stool il
the corner to drip. He felt the waite
slowly settling around his ankles, ant
he knew mat II was rotting the silk
He was fast becoming desperate, whel
the door opened and in walked tn
young man whose r. mark had becn th
cause Of all the trouble
Hello. Thompson" he. said; .
hope you don't bear any malice abc,'
what 1 said. know I'm"
! "0h, don't mention NJ said th