The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-03-31
THE PHRENOlOGIST.
The Man Who Diagnoses the Bumps en-
Mems Heads.


Mems Heads.
One of the experiences of life which
is not given every one to enjoy is seeing
a phrenologist haul in his net OF
gudgeons. Being thing whose reve-
lations are more apt 10 stimulate any
one 5 vanity than TO help him along in
the world. phrenology is always sure OF
credulous devotees. 1t fouriShes best
on rural soil, though when well watered
it grows fairly in metropolitan atmos.
phere.
As the curious business Is generally
managed the hrenologiSt-"world re-
nowned'' according To the circulars
has his lair behind screen in a large
room, generously furnished with plaster
of paris heads mapped off in sections.
and pictures which Indicate the bust
ness. Thither penetrates the youth who
thinks a man who has never before set
eyes on him knows more about his head
than he does himself
When he sits down his face il grave
and anxious to gha>tlineSs: when he
gets up he has stunned expression.
The knowledge impaired to him has
stupcficd him. He has more head
than he thought he had and he thought
he had good deal. His brain swells
as he thinks of the kind of fellow he is
and how unconscious he has been of his
own greatness hitherto.
He pays his dollar. or two. or three
or five in dazed way and with an en-
phatic feeling that he never got 80 much
for SD little money before. Perhaps he
has had chart made ont. In that case
his mind dwells on ii ali the way home
and the way he will surprise everybody
who thought they knew him and didn't
for be it known that although he
doubts his own knowledge of himself
and the verdict of his own father and
mother and all the neighbors, he never
doubts phrenology nor the perfect hon.
esty of its apostle whom he just patron
lied. He will doubt that the earth doth
move, doubt that the stars are fire,
doubt truth and all the virtues. but he
never doubts that the man who fills out
his chart can read heads Is clearly as
he can read the signs on lamp-poStS. In
years TO come he will look over that |
chart-it will become a habit to look /
over il and talk about it. and he will |
still believe in il. To be sure he tray |
eled a different road from that which the |
chart said he was adapted 10 illuminate; |
he has not achieved the measure of |
greatness which phrenology assured him
he should; but that does not shake his |
not phrenology. are TO blame
for his falling short of his chart. In his
Utmost soul to his diving day he believes
in that awful map. That represents
him as he would have been if he
hadn't been handicapped by fate.
A curious glitter comes into his ewes
whenever he speaks of the science of
The subject stirs his blood.
and puts him in good humor with him.
self, though it gives him poor opinion
of the rest of mankind. He can't help
but see that everybody-yeS. everybody.
except the man who examined his
heads utterly ObliviouS To his great
ness. In spite of all his philosophy this
embitters him somewhat towards an un-
world. He finds dubious
sui VI COiIlOiI III SlctTlUp II CDDfcTSd- |
ton into chronological channels. 1t
gives him an opportunity of asserting
his unshakable belief in 1.-The neglected
sciences" Perhaps he does little of
character that way himself
Ii lifts him above the common herd in
his own mind. Any way. his faith in
his chart is deathless thing. not to be
upset or destroyed even by the confut-
ne evidence of a long and badly ordered
life. He may lose confidence in his
ellow men, surrender his most cher
shed friendships. submit to adverse
'uling in his love affairs, outgrow his
'eligion and set aside some of his best
beloved hobbies: but he dies faithful TO
As each victim makes his exit from
he head-delineator' clutches it is worth
while to take a look ut the face of that
world enlightener. 1t is sin
sularly composed and unreadable If
here are disparities between the charts
md the heads. there is no record of
hem in the professors visage. Every
hing like an expression has been dis
charged therefrom. Jose (CdL)
TorOId