Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-23
BRIGHT BITS.


w alter! Bring me some mistakes in or
biography" PdZLled Waiter-"But. sir, we
we haven't any" why, hen, do you put
them In your bill Of fre?"-G0 Bias.
IT, was a New Hampshire girl who re-
marked on first seeing steam fire englne IN
operation: "Wno would have dweamed that
yewy dlmlnuuYe looking concern would
mold so much watah ."-LoUeH It'aes
"WHY didn't You assasslnate him ?" "Assass-
mate himY' repeated the colone,, with intense
disgust. why, he is not gentleman, sir
You don't suppose / would lower myself by
assas snating rullian, do yOuY"-G rdphtc
WHAT are you playing now, Jim?" in
CURED Que actor OF another.
"Oh, I've got down to a flve-cent part"
what is it?"
".Niclse-us vedder,' in rip Van Win
kle.' It'd Bits.
MoTHER-'My little girl goes to seep SO
nicely every night when / sing to her. Isn't
ina so, Mamieg'
Mamie-"Yes, that's so. Turning to her
aunt. Don't tell mamma, but | only make
out that am asleep TO get her to stop sing
ing, she sings so awful bad."-Tid Bits.
FIRST DUDE.-"lou think that she loves
you UnenW Second Duue-"I m-aWs-posl-
i've of it, my deah boy" First D.-"What
makes you positive?" second D.-"She has
name her poodle after me, my deah boy. and
If that isn't "a strong proof of lady's affec-
tons then I'm no Judge of the deah cweachahs,
that's all."-BOStOn Courier.
CUsToMER-"A Aren't you afraid to leave all
these clothes hanging out on the sidewalk
with nobody to watch them? l should think
you would be afral, somebody would steal
Them" Dealer-"Shtt al doze Clothes? Mein
Hlmmel, no! (COnfdentially)-Vy mein
friend, | tell you, sells dose Clothes so sheap
that Id doesn't bay TO shteal them. '-SODleF-
ellie JOurRdl.
ABDUL" said Minister Cox, coming in as
the sultan was playing on his piano, "are you
n 81 firNor hmm a
wlnky- plnkayng? Why don't Won buy an ac-
Gordon or horse-fddle2" Samuel" re-
turned The sultan sadly, do not thousands of
your own countrywomen play on the piano?"
Mr.. Cox WAS so silent that a pin was heard to
drop IN the neighbOring acknowledgements
Courier Jonrn0I.
THE OwKIsOF THE PREss-Last week re-
specuully suggested to the Queen that her
Majesty would do well to leave B1lmoral Il
lew days earlier than the date originally
liked for her journey south Che 20th) in order
to avoid the extreme Inconvenience to minis
ters and officials of having the Council for the
Dissolution held in Scotland. | am G4ad TO be
abie to announce that the Queen has reCOg
hlze1 the soundDess of my views. and that
her Majesty has now decided to quit Balmo-
raj on the aft rnOon of Monday week. The
council Will therefore be held at Windsor
Castle at l o'clock on the following day.
London Truth.
MEMORY
/ wish that | could remember
Our MINISTER'S Sunday text;
My memory is so treacherOus
That I'm often really vGxed.
When asked about some sermon
Which know was really fine,
IL IS dreac full notifying
hen can't recall line.
FiCe Minutes Later.
Did notice Miss Jenkins bonnet?
Yes; what q hnrrid shape!
And / noticed Miss Brown was wearing
Her old last seasons cape.
She we rs q different trimming
Last year, you know, twas fur
But remember the garment
AS well as l do her.
-LOaeeU Courier.
THE FATE OF ANUMBRELLA.
stylish young dude of a Teller,
Bought a new alpaca umbreer,
Which was nobby, but not very stout.
-
He walked with it out 10 the street,
In the rain, and the wind aud the slect,
And it suddenly Hoped inside out.
j
-Dansvills Bresse.