Connecticut western news. [volume] (Salisbury, Litchfield Co., Conn.) 1871-1970, 1885-04-08
EDITOR AND BOOK AGENTS.
He Objects to the Females, but not to the
Males.

The Richmond (Va.) Religious Herald
says: We can stand book agent,
provided he is of the masculine denomi-
nation. We are not afraid of him. We
know that he is coming and can deal
with him without buying his book. He
may be pompous and courtly or he may
be pimpled and cadaverous his lips
may be believed with honeyed batteries;
he may be oily and crafty in his ap-
proaches ; he may modestly ask for
"just a moment of our precious time;"
he may say that he only Graves the use
of our name, or he may charge in upon
us and seek to carry us by storm. This
does not matter with us. He is man,
and so are we in small way, and we
have our rights. We tell him what we
will and what we won't, and that ends it.
But when she comes-then Is the win
ter of our discomfort. We bow to the
storm, and have no remarks to submit.
All the hidden resources of our polite
ness are called into requisition. She is
woman, and has the a dvantage of us.
She has seen better days, and has tear
in her eye. She belongs to an old fam
lily, and swan in luxury in her youth.
Little cares she for money-characte is
everything with her. She is working in
the interests of literature and to lift up
society. Her book is for the home
circle, and is destined to ennoble the
character of mothers, and in that way
to add glory to republican institutions.
She came the other day. How glib
and rafting she was She had us be-
fore we knew it. She had us sitting as
erect as sunbeam in July, and meekly
nodding assent to her sage observations.
We neither moved hand nor foot, and as
for talking, we had no chance. She
talked fast, and she talked long, and she
talked all the time. After RECALLING us
with the grandeur Of her ancestry, the
pleasures of her childhood, and the sur
passing excellences of her book, she
touched us up. She did it handsomely.
She expatiated on the potency of our
influence, the value of our personal sig
nature and the weIl-known warmth and
kindness of our heart. Greatness, she
limited, always had tear on its cheek
for the struggling and unfortunate.
And there we were-dumb and foolish,
a victim to her spell. Time came and
went, but she went on, and on, and on.
We felt fatigued and lonesome, and
wondered how it would end. Finally
she gradually descended from her cir
cumlocutory flight, and lit in the region
of business. The atmosphere became
commercial, and it was a question of
dollars and cents. She had book for
sale and desired to sell us copy. It
ceased to be question of ancestry, and
the poetry and praise all faded away.
The spell was broken, and all we had to
do was to say whether or not we would
buy the book.
We did it as well as we could've
spoke in a bright and respectful tone
we even thanked her for her visit-we
paid tribute to her brilliant converse
tional gifts-we wished her high fortune
and golden future, and expressed re-
greet that it had to be 80. How her
whole aspect changed She patted her
cheek with petulance, her face flushed,
she breathed wildly, and swept angrily
away.
And yet truly we felt sorry for her.
It hurt us to think of her hard lot, and
her desperate devices to stem the tide of
adverse fortune. We would have
bought her book, except that we could
not conscientiously pay an exorbitant
price for useless article.