davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
Can You Do 1t?

Last night the cutting winds seemed
to blow direct from the Polar regions.
Vine street was almost deserted and
only few whose business kept them
out were seen walking at a rapid gait
to their several places of destination.
A reporter was slowly sauntering
through the streets in his midnight
wanderings with his big ulster button
ed tight around him, and his sealskin
cap pulled down over his ears, when
his attention was attracted to a party
of swell society gentlemen, who had
been out for night of it. Il bet you
$780," said one of them to a companion,
''that you cannot drop nickel from
your eye into a funnel five times in sue
cession.n
The proposition was Immediately ac-
cepteG, when the party stepped into
Billy Gruber' $. A funnel was procur-
ed, and placed with the small end run
ming down the waist of the gentleman
trousers. A nickel was placed on his
left eyelid with the other one closed.
He slowly bowed his head and the
nickel fell into the funnel. ''Once, "
cried out the friend with whom the
wager had been made. The second
time the feat was successfully accom-
plished. As the third trial was about
to be made his friend accused him of
having an eye open. mo, indeed, | have
not, was the reply, but before he had
completed this assurance the friend
emptied a pitcher of ice water into the
funnel
"a bottle of wine, and as much more
as they want said the man as he
fastened to the Emery Hotel, whence
messenger was dispatched for dry
trousers, etc.-Ciu. Com. Gazette.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
Origin of The Term Creole.

Creole is not used by Americans I'M
less referring to people of Spanish or
French descent. The Americans in
Louisiana outnumber those of French
descent, and the native Americans of
the state never call themselves creOles.
The word creole is of Spanish origin,
and was used during the old Spanish
colonial rule in Spanish America; and
as this city of New Orleans was for a
long period under Spanish dominion it
was but natural that the French and
their descendants born here who COM
prised a considerable portion of the
population should adopt the term. To
conclude, | will copy a portion from
the History of Mexico and Texas,
by the Hon. John NJ. Niles, member of
the senate of the United States, in 1913:
1.-The existence of various castles, or
mixed races, which now constitute 20
large a portion of the whole population
OF the country, is the consequence of
the subiugatiOn of the natives. The
whole population of the Spanish colo
MES is divided into classes; the natives
of old Spain, settled in America, were
denominated chapetones, or gashu-
penes; they claimed the first rank and
engrossed most of the places of power
and profit, merely on account of their
birth; the descendants of European
Spaniards in the colonies were called
creoles, and although they enjoyed the
same civil rights as the natives of old
Spain, they were treated as a distinct
and subordinate class, and entirely ex-
Guided from all situations of any i'm
portance. Of the mixtures. the mesti-
EOS are the descendants of a white and
an Indian: the descendants of an Indian
and negro are called zembos, and
these casts produce other mixtures of
different shades of color and degrees of
blood too various to be divided into dis
tinct classes. "-Nea0 Orleans Pic0yatne.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
ROOSeyeIt'S Grizzly.

The true story has not before been
published about the /, 250-pound grizzly
which eX-Assemblyman Theodore
Dakota. Mr.. Roosevelt and his most
trusted cowboy started on hunt one
morning for a grizzly, whose enormous
tracks had been discovered not far from
the ranch cabin. They struck the
trail of the beast, and as it grew hotter
and hotter, so the eX-Assemblyman
grew interested and even excited. The
cowboy was in advance and had halted
for a moment to call Mr.. Roosevelt at
tention to a remarkable freak of nature
that was exhibited by the piling TO-
gether of large mass of bouIders in a
most striking form. AS they were sur
yeying the curious mass the cowboy
heard an ominous groWl. The ex-
Assemblyman heard it, too, and firmly
adjusting his near-sighted pebbles on
the bridge of his nose. he brought his
rifle to ''present h arms and looked
around him. The cowboys rifle was
at his shoulder and his eye was rur
ming along the barrel in search of the
sights. The grizzly had evidently been
disturbed from nap and he was any
thing but gOod-humored. He prepared
to receive his visitors by boldly climb
ing over the boulder behind which his
ugly head was reared, when the cow
BOY looked for the origin of the growI.
Mr.. Roosevelt's eyeglasses for once
ciutched his nose in grip that could
not be shaken. He took in the situation
instantly, the beast not forty feet dis
tant and slowly approaching, growing
all the while, and the cowboy with his
finger feeling coolly and cautiously for
the rifle trigger.
Here" shouted Roosevelt to his
cowboy, ''d-n you, don't you shoot
that bear. That my bear. I'll shoot
you if you do. He Ieveled his gun as
he uttered the warning, and its black
mouth was displayed in line that
made it extremely easy for the cowboy
to look down the barrel land count the
cartridges, as he afterwards explained.
The cowboy WINGED, and the bear. not
q little surprised at this apparent di-
version of purpose among his adverse
ries, threw up his head and sat back on
his launches. The ex-Assemblyman' S
Winchester was leyeled at him, and
fortunately for the two hunters the first
bullet struck the beast in the eye, and
he tumbled over mortally wounded.
The cowboy, when it was all over,
reproached his employer for his menac-
ing language, and described the situa-
ton in such a manner as to leave no
doubt of the truthfulness of his story in
the mind of Mr.. Roosevelt. The latter
condoned his otfense by presenting to
him his silver-mounted Winchester, a
pair of holster plstols, horse, and a
pair of corduroy breecheS, the like of
which had never before been seen in
the mountains, and which have made
the cowboy special object of envy
among his associates. York
Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
Little D2riel's First Essay.

My little boy, Dan, had to write an
essay last week. The teacher of the
school which he attended (under pro-
test) believes in little boys writing es-
says so that when they get to be men
and have to write important articles or
letters they will know how to do it. So
Dams turn came to him and he came
to me and said: PA, what's a good
subject for 'n'essay?" | thought a
moment and then remembering the ex-
.periences OF my younger days, and how
hard it was to write those ~ame COM
positions in my time, | said:
dan, if you will 90 up in the gar
ret in the lower drawer of the old bu-
reau you will find some essays that |
wrote when l was boy, and maybe
you can learn something from them.
Don't copy, MY son, but take several of
them and read them over and then
state the ideas in your own language"
/ thought | had done well. Dan
said no more about the essay. But,
ah, the cyclone was Matching.
Yesterday I received a note from
Dams teacher. 1t began:
Mr.. Daniel Smith, Sr: Enclosed you will
find an essay which your son presented last
week.
/ read no farther, but unfolded the
larger paper, wondering if genius could
be inherited. and if the Smith family
was to continue famous in literature.
read:
Novemburr.
This is the most butifullst season of the
yeer. You can now go and gather Nuts:
" a on two no n n
the word. the haud-Orgun man Cos arOwnd
now. the hOrs is the usefuller animal than a
COW but wimin hadn't OF to be paide so much
for teachin as men. My father new a women
wunse who had falls hare and theeth and an
glass an wOOdin leg hur name wuz jones.
now She could lye. this is all no about spring
but like paU1ick henry who goes to number Z
give me hburty or give me deth
sale on sale on
thou ship of state.
smiled, and was about to shove the
essay into my pocket, when [ thought
of the letter, and picking it up read it
through 1t continued:
/ have suspended him and he cannot re-
turn to the school until both he and yourself
apologize for the language contained in this
essay. Miss T. G.. Jones.
1t had all come back to me. Dan
had evidently gone through the whole
file of essays and also read a few pri-
yate letters, and this was the result.
And his teacher was the very identi-
cal woman about whom | had written
so sarcastically to mutual friend.
What to do / did not know. The allie
cations We're of adamantine truth and
could not be retracted. So Dan goes
to another school now, and when COM
position day comes he takes his pencil
and paper and caryes out his own es-
say and does not get any ideas from
his father. Well, no; not if the under
signed knows it.
DAN'L SMITH, SR. parenD.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
ne NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Chronicle

the wood-pile. Pitts6a;rg Chronicle.
How is it you never married, Char
lieP" 80, [ don't know, except | re-
manned single from choice. "Why,
| heard that you tried to get that Podg
kins girl a year or two ago. > Yes, [
did ask her to marry me. " ''And she
would not have you?" That's about
the size of it. So | remained single
from choice-her choice, you know. y
When Mrs Oleo, the boarding house
mistress, was told that the inspector
of provisions had seized 468 pounds of
veal, ninety-two rounds of poultry,
fifty-two pounds of bear meat, thirty
seven lambs, six barrels of peas, and
200 boxes of herring, she remarked:
Pretty good appetite; but nothing to
some of my boarders. You'd ought to
see them when they're good and hun
cry"
A farmer who had engaged the SER
vices of son of the Emerald Isle sent
him out one morning to harrow piece
of ground He had not worked long
before nearly all the teeth came out of
the harrow. Presently the farmer
went out into the field to take notes Of
the mans progress, and asked him how
he liked the work. ''Ohn' he replied,
it goes a bit smoother since the pegs
come out!''
''Do you think his disease incurable,
doctor?' He is q poor man, isn't
hep Hasn't got a dollar" Eyes;
medicine won't do him any good now"
He has rich uncle who has agreed
to pay all expen-'' Excuse me, if
you please" interrupted the physician.
waving his hand Never mind abou,
the rich uncle. AS | was saying when
you interrupted me, don't think med
icine will do him any good, but l never
give UP patient until he is dead"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
A Turkey Trick in Iowa.

Late Friday afternoon a stranger
whose appearance indicated that he did
not live on fat of the land every day,
and that his household knew little
about purple and fine linen, entered
grocery store on Brady street, holding
fine large turkey by the legs He
walked up to the showcase, saying:
'.T d like a cigar, please" and one was
handed him with a lighted match.
by the way" said be, suddenly,
''would you oblige me with a piece of
paper to wrap around this turkey-it
doesn't look well to carry it through
the streets in this way" A polite
clerk took the turkey, wrapped it up
artistically in paper, which was tied so
that it would stay. Thank you, SIR
said the stranger politely, as he turned
and walked out with his turkey. He
had not been gone a minute, when
neighbor from across the street hurried
into the store with: Say, did that fell
lew who went out from here just now
pay for that turkey?" ''Pay for the
turkey?-no, why should he?' well,
he picked it up from the bench in front
as he entered your stcre.' Davenport
DenlOc@nt
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
A Senator's Monkey Story.

Senator Ransom tells this story: An
italian organ-grinder came to his sec
ton of the state. He brought the ira
ditional and inevitable monkey along.
After some mournful melodies. the beast,
in a sadly cOmical way, hoped around
among the crowd soliciting money. A
big countryman upset the tin cup, and
cuffed the monkey. The enraged Ital-
ian, in his peculiar lingo, bet the man
that the monkey could lick him. The
wager was $50, and the man was to en-
counter the missing link with stick.
Armed with heavy bludgeon, the bull
ly protested his readiness for the fray
The Italian danced his animal up and
down, and, in broken sEnglish, said:
Gentlemen, my monkey is little, but
he is worse than tiger. Ihave taught
him some tricks that tiger does not
know. He has whipped many big men.
If my monkey shall bite off the nose of
his enemy, or scratch out his eyes, or
cut his throat, no blame must be at
man with the club was visibly affected
by this speech. He instinctively put his
hand over his nose, and shaded his
eyes, while a great gulp came into his
throat. To the establishment of the
crowd, greedy for novel rumpus and
careless of the consequences, he tossed
aside his stick and clustered out:
Take off your confounded devil of
monkey and III pay you the S50?'' The
willy Italian, by a bold stroke of diplo-
macy, not unworthy of a Cavour, filed
his purse and saved his monkey. whose
skull would have been split at the first
pass Washington Cor. Augusta (Ga.J
Chronicle
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
Jim's Last Christmas.

Jim'S boy was q Street-car drivers
boy. His parents had rooms in a build,
ing which the cars passed in an unend-
ing procession and all the drivers and
conductors and some of the passengers
knew Jim's boy. Jim himself was q
big, Woodworking fellow who used to
drive team on the plains, but who had
settled down and made up his mind
that he would save a little something
and then try to get into some business
for himself. He thought perhaps by
the time his boy was old enough to set
up for himself he would have money
enough to start store and take him
into partnership. Though jim said
little on this subject it was well known
that that was his hope.
The boy used to sit at the window by
the hour hattening his nose against the
glass and watching the cars as they
rolled by. Jim always looked up, com
ing or going, and greeted the merry
face with a smile, and at night he peer
ed up through the darkness just the
same, though he knew he could see
nothing. Some of the other drivers got
in the habit of looking up also. The
boy knew them all, and the smile Of
recognition that he gave them was a
pleasant relief from the monotony OF
a tread-mill existence. When Christ
mas time came the boys friends made
up little purse of money and bought
him a stocking full of presents, and
Christmas night he had them all in the
window on exhibition, his own curly
head being visible in the background.
sit kinder warmed me up to 90 by
and see Jim's boy" said an old driver,
''for he was enjoying himself every
minute, and | knew Jim was too
That was only week ago. So many
things happen in a week! The next
day there was no face at the window.
The second day Jim was not at roll-call
and stranger had his car That night
some of the men called in body to see
what the trouble was. The boy was
delirious with fever, and Jim and his
mother were bending over him. From
the parched lips fitful EXPLANATIONS
were coming.
There's Jerry with the bays and
Pop coming after him with stock
%. l wonder how that is. Pop DON t
drive %. Oh, l see! Toms off and he's
got his horses. Why, what's that
Archer avenue car doing up here, and
that Ogden? The Robey Il have to
take the switch or get sniped. Hello,
Jake! This is Pops last trip. He's
cold, and | know it. Why, here's Pop
now, and Jerry. / thought just saw
you on the street. There amt any,
body travelling. Eyerybody's home to
Christmas, [ guess. Ii the boys don't
light their lamps better than that the
Superintendent will be after them"
And so the child ratified on, drawing
nearer and nearer his fEal taking
leave, the men with whispers and mods
departing as quietly as they came.
In the morning the Christmas dis
play was still in the window, as he had
placed it, but the hands mad folded for
ever, and the sunny curls were nesting
about brow that was as cold and
white as the snow.
Jim's car and all the other cars are
running to-day just as they were a week
ago, but there is curtained window
where the boy used to hold forth, and
the men, even Jim himself, look the
other way when they pass it Chicago
HeraId's Stories of the Street.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16
The Evolution of the Skate.

Many Il man of to-day can remember
the long curled toe, steel runner imbed-
ded in a solid piece of wood that form
ed the skate of his boyhood days. To
the wood were attached the long straps
and the screw in the heel that fastened
the skate to the foot. This skate, too,
was guttered, and the fellow that had
pair of smooth bottoms" was the
envy and wonder of all the other boys.
The curly-toe gradually disappeared,
the long straps gave place to the dou-
bic toe-strap, and the heel-strap that
with its harness rings always reminded
one OF halter, took flight with the old
wood-screw that used to be bored into
the boot-heel Other changes followed
rapidly. Some bright skater conclud-
ed that better speed could be attained
If less of the steel touched the ice, and
the rocker skate made its appear
ance. Another happy thought knock
ed the toe-straps out in one round, and
gave the steel clamps, frightened by
means of double screw and wrench,
in place of them. A plate in the boot
heel, and knob on the skate, said
'tgood-bye'' to the heel-strap, and very
shortly afterward clamps similar to
those on the toe made the heel of the
skate nearly perfect. A simple turn of
the wrist connected the two sets of
clamps with a lever, and the skate was
made, -1fGyaUdat6ee Globe. The Globe
might have added that the process of
evolution has to a very large extent
done away with ice skates, and substi-
tuted rollers, which are now all the
craze.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16

For using the word ''NationaP' on
his business sign at Atlanta, Ga, suit
has been brought against c. c. Nelson,
who is money lender, for $4,000
the sum total of $50 day since he
began business being the penalty,
under the United States statutes, for
bankers or brokers using the word
National unless authorized by Con-
gress. The informer claims half of the
money.
Bayard' 5 fortune is estimated at from
SloO, 600 to 100000. His house in
v ashington is worth S25, 100. But the
Delaware homestead is almost baron
ial palace.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16

Greasy counts fifteen decisive bat
Ties in the worlds history: Marathon.
400 B. c.; Syracuse, 413; Arbela, 33l;
Metaurus, 2O7; the Rome defeat by
Varus, 9 A D.; Chalons, 451; Tours,
1872; Hastings, 1866; Joan of Arc at Or
leans. 1929; the Armada, 1888; Blen-
helm. 1904; Pultowa, 1909; Saratoga,
1777; ValmY. 1892. and Waterloo, 1919.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16

A Nebraska court has given George
Foxen a verdict of 6 cents damages for
being tarred and feathered. lie used
over one dollars worth of soap to get
the stuff Of, and can't see where ne has
made any money.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-16

Ten years from to-day says a
writer in Scandinavia, ''ten PATHS in
the same opera will not be able to fill
the house, unless a decent seat can be
got for decent dollar and no extra
ordinary amount of enthusiasm is either
expected or demanded" 1t is quite
impossible that the near future will
find this to be the case. When the
German elements in the population OF
the country shall become thoroughly
interested in operate affairs, as there
is now significant indication, opera will
be placed within the reach of every
body.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-02-28
Pedigree stock.

The value Of pedigree is now pretty
generally appreciated, in one form or
another. The ranchman buys the bull
that has a pedigree. He does not want
a grade bull, even il it is just as fine
locking; he knows it will not breed as
well as full.blooded bull, whose an
cestors trace back through long line
Of breeding that insures the perpetua.
ton Of the breeding. while the grade
bull is more apt to breed back to his
scrub ancestors than to maintain the
improvement.
The farmer who is starting a herd of
full blooded stock gives more attention
TO the pedigree, gets a few good ami.
mails of well-known families that trace
to some imported stock, then begins to
learn the value Of pedigree as he be-
comes familiar with the analysed pedi-
grees Of his different animals. The
successful breeder SO loves his business
that the complication Of pedigrees slim
ulutes careful study, and familiarity
with the leading families, their merits
and characteristics, to appreciate the
Superior breeding, or to detect the out
crosses Of some obscure or objectionable
animal.
Pedigree, to give the character and
quality on history Of the breeding is es.
sential to the professional breeder, and
should always be accompanied by indi-
vidual excellence.
Thirty or forty years ago there were
but few professional breeders of i'm.
proved stock; then they were called
fancy stock men. They had but few
customers, but their good work has
been blessing to Anne rican agricul.
ture, and now the masses OF our farm.
ers are breeding thoroughbred males to
grade up the farm stock.
Stock breeding is now quite universal
as the best market for the farm products,
and improved or pedigree stock Of all
kinds is in great demand, and the cross.
ING upon our common stock has given
US the fine grades in the markets that
have nearly doubled the price. and Civ.
en- early maturity; hence the greater
| profits 10 the farmer.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1885-02-28
InprONlng stock.

An agricultural exchange says that
a certainty Of improving stock can only
be secured by slaughtering. selling or
castrating all scrub and half.breed
males. Many a man is tempted by the
beauty OF half breed bull calf, young
ram OF bore. to keep him to perpetuate
his good qualities; but there is no hope
Of his doing this even with tolerable
certainty. The mongrel blood will con-
s,antly show itself in an exasperating
manner; and the only assurance Of GER
tain improvement in the breed OF any
race of animals lies in the use Of males
with clean pedigrees. There must be
a positive lnswledge that, for genera
tons, no impure blood has crept into
the veins OF their ancestors. This once
ascertained, seek, in the object Of your
choice. the most perfect development OF
every valuable quality; but without
this the finest type OF outward appear
ance may be delusion and a snare.