Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1885-09-23
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT

nut Drlbk u spIiB VI oNeIsteeu.
lMIRTH AND MERRIMENT.
Amy" said the hleh-school girl to
her friend yesterday, ." gave Sue the
gave Ter what ?" asked Amy. The
frigid vibration" replied Mildred.
What in the worlds that" asked
Amy, in astonishment. What you
| call the cold shake, you know" ex-
planned the high school girl.
Two young ladies were talking about
third who had just become engaged to
a widower who plays the cornet and
has four children. What could be
worse" exclaimed one, ethan four
children and cornet?" Nothing"
said the other, quitely, Excepting,
perhaps, six children and trombone.
Well. how did you succeed ?" asked
Slim of O'Dude, when the latter return.
cd from making q matrimonial propo-
sition. "Oh am all right, think.
She said she had a great many offers,
but she gave me the refusal" " For
how long ?" Oh well, time wasn't
mentioned, you know"
First hen " There comes the woman
to drive us out of her garden" Second
hen Eyes, and she's picking up a
stone, too. Let's fly out, quick" FIRST
hen Mono, stay here" Second
hen But she's aiming iight for US. I"
First hen g Yes, and If we should
move We might get hit"
jones "Say, Robinson, what do
you think of the cornet soloist? Hasn't
Ee q wonderful lip ?" Robinson : "Oh,
l think he is a very fne musician but
az to lip, he can't hold a candle to my
wife. Just accompany me home some
IevenlDg that am out late and Judge for
yourself"
{" So l may really have the next
waltz? So good of you, Mrs. Marsham ;
l know how rarely you'll consent to
saltz with anybody. am greatly
favored. " Not tall, Mr.. DeGauque
III don't object To waltzing, i'll general.
1t Is only my husbands absurd jeal.
lousy, you know"
ii An officer in the regular army laugh
led at a timid woman because she wat
a Harmed at the noise of cannon when
a salute was fired. He subsequently
married the timid woman, aud six
months afterward he took oft his boott
in the hall when he came home late a.
nights.
And so you have received divorce
from that vaeabond husband OF you're
Mrs Smith" #" Yes, | am glad TO say
/ have" Didn't you feel quite over
1 powered when you heard the decision
8 of the judge Not exactly. / tel
sort of unnamed 30 TO speak"
II man wants to own the earth
what does woman want?" inquired Mr.
lGrabb OF his batter half, after a little
family matinee few days ago. "Wel
+ my dear" responded that lady in I
o gentle, soothing tone, "to own the man
| suppose
al A fashionable Young lady was seer
It backing her young brothers boots tn
lother morning, and the next da
). she helped to do the family washing
It 1t is th ought that she is fitting hersel
ol ID become the wife Of German prince
'st There has been vast improvemen
u in ladies' headgesr during the past d.
Q, cade or two. Twenty years ago, whe
a woman inadvertently got her bonnt
% ON " hind part BEFORE" a man coul
70 rapidly detect the error. He can
ID now"
50 "When l marry" said buddin
girl, I'm want atall, tine'lookin
Imam" There's where you'll wronl
4 SIS" said her more practical siste
~ ~ You'll have less trouble watching a
h ugly man, and enjoy more OF his con
psny."
N A girl, discussing an absent frien
az named Amands, exclaimed; WIN
ry a pretty girl Amanda ISL" Ali! sait
lady, Is she blonde or brunette?
"Oh, sha has her days OF BOTH" a
al swered tho admirin2 friend.
ct He1ry, love, wxh you wou
IL Throw away that book and talk to me
| feel 70 dull" { a long silence al
ro no rsply.) "Oh, Henry nay foot
IN. asleep :; Is II? Well, don't tai
en- dear, You might wake it,.
: "a what age is an unmarried mi
i a confirmed bachelor 2" asks a subsc
70 Der. When he can take pretty wido
M for a moonlight walk and not ask b
1'' to marry him before returning homo.
"You s.ee," said Blooms to his swe
nay heart, in describing how he stepped
est a lady's train and tore it, lost q
= h head, you know - " Did you III
lit much -" she cruelty queried.
IN A medical journal says that SIM
No. women have headache more than ma
IT ried ones. That may be; but do
Ma married men have the headac he Otter
ks, than the single ones
an "Is this a singing doll ?"asked she
-. the nhopman. & Yes, miss" Ii
lis do you make it sing? ?" Just as
Nc would any other lady. How
Get. that 2" By pressing it," "Oa !
. They were speaking of cert
v q young lady who sings beautifully, q
4 at one of the party asked Is she C.
Hot troItnon 9. No I think she is aGermal
IF. was the innocent reply.
si' a. don't believe it's any use to v
. cinate TOR smallpox, said man, =
RE- [ Ind q child vaccinated, and In
and than week after he fell out OF
u dow and was killed"
sH- An old bachelor vould like to kr
rms. what kind of a broom the young won
" in the last new novel used when
ASH swept back the raven ringlets from
:tA classic brow.
FSr An apxiou inquirer asks WI
ellis would you advise me to go and ie
rni. how 10 play the piano >" To tho wo'
and dear-to the deep, dark, damp, dan
- Ous woods.
-N9 "How can fiud out all about
" Iyoung lady TO whom | am engage.
'et 10 asks II prospective Benedict
" r. she younger beother ? 1t so,coh
.. him.