The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1885-1888, 1885-12-23
RICHARD II. SYLVESTER, Editor.

Washington, ID. @,
RICHARD II. SYLVESTER, Editor.
WASHINGTON. d. c., DEC. %, 1885
WIN an old gentleman like Collector
Saltonstall of Boston, in whose veins
courses the blue blood of ancestors enough
TO make a good-sized dcccnnial census,
goes to a civilservico reform banquet he
should either not make q speech at all or do
so before the several vintages between the
sherry and the champagne have inspired
him with the idea that something funny can
bo said on the somewhat lugubrious topic
Of such an OCCASION But our venerable
and sllk-stocIinged friend evidently had no
friendly counselor near by, and as might
have been expected, put his arlstocratic
foot in It.. 1t was ouly few days ago that
the Massachusetts Reform Club gave din.
ner Ia Boston aud Mr.. Saltons'al made
speech, the burden Of which appears to
have been that he was glad the ciyil-seryice
law stood as protection between himself
and his party lie was also glad that the
leaders OF his party in Massachusetts, hal
so stouty opposed his appointment, they
could expect nothing whatever at his hands.
Very naturally such sentiments brought
about the ears Of thecollector, a din of indig-
nant criticism from Democrats who are not
collectors and who are not blue-blooded.
1t was din of such proportions
as to necessitats something in the
nature OF an explanation from
the ancient and highly respectable
Mr.. Saltonstall, who insists that what he
faid was all in joke, and forthwith proceeds
TO diagnose the point of his jest with as
much tediousness and proliXity as charac-
terizes Mark Twain when working his read
ers up to supposed laughing place. The
Collector no doubt speaks the truth when
he tells ,us that what he said about the
civil service law originally was a joke, but
lie Las evidently forgotten the point Of 1t
himself, and laboriously hunts for words in
which to make its eXcruciating hilarity
visible to the naked intellect. 1t was his
first attempt in that direction, and being
Iroud of it, he naturally wants all of its
leauties appreciated The trouble is that
somehow or other he cannot explain its
hidden mysteries now that the effects of the
banquet are over. If the ancient and most
respectable Saltonstall ever essays another
ioke-which is very doubtful-he should,
as Mark Twain invariably does with his,
accom- any it with an explanatory dia-
gram. Or he might, like that nlmble and
lamented humorist, Artsmus Ward, wind
mp by saying "This is goak."
FRANCE will on Monday next elect a sue
cessor to President Grevy, whose term will
expire on the 30th of the next month. There
is not as much excitement about this cleo
tion as there was over the recent elections
of members Of the Chamber of. Deputies,
which involved q test vote as to the political
feeling of the voters. The Loyalists and
the extreme Radicals had been making
great demonstrations, and the question was
one of extreme moment as showing whether
the sentiment of France was in favor of the
continuance Of the present Republican
form Of government. The decision
was in favor of the Govern
ment, and there is no prospect OF
any trouble next Monday. The only ques-
tion is, who shall be President Grevy's sue
cessorY He is very old and is not a very
forcible or brilliant man, but is regarded as
safe. There are no prominent candidates
in opposition to him, and it looks very
much as II he would be reelected.
-
THE PUBLICATION of the Richmond IPhg
laying been suspended by order of the
Chancery Court and the receiver instructed
to sell the property, Mr.. w. c. Elan, who
has had editorial charge of the paper for
eight years past, steps down and out with
agraceful and manly valedictory, There is
no doubt that Mr.. Elan has been actuatel
by sincere conviction Of duty throughout
the bitter and extraordinary political con-
tests with which he has been so conspicu-
ously identified; but the fortunes of war
were against his cause. He says that he
feels amply repaid in the affection OF those
for whom he has more directly struggled
and in the respect of those against whom
lie has striven with all his might. His
friends agree that he could have done for
them no more than he has done; his enc
mics will not claim that he should hlve
done less. All will hope that better luck
aH ats this gallant gentleman in the future.
--
The New York Ereniag Post says that
President Arthur's veto OF the Porter re-
lief bill was "one of the most discreditable
of the many discreditable small things which
marked the late Administration General
Grant said 1t was 'the merest sophistry.''
The Republican party accepted, but moi
with much clapping Of hands. lie would
not be brave, but n very foolhardy Presi
dent who should make Mr.. Arthur's actor
in the premises, precedent for himself
THE Loyalists in Ireland are now learning
something Of how 1t is themselves. Having
had the upper hand Of the Home Rulers 5,
many years they protest most strenuously
against the latter being given the ascend
ency and predict all manner OF evils should
a home rule scheme for Ireland be favor
ably acted upon by Parliament. Theii
protests win not amount to much, as ther,
is an evident determination Throughout
Great Britain to give the other side
chance.
COMMISSIONER SPARKS Of the Genera
Land Office says ~ am trying to see thai
the honest settlers get the public lands FOL
honest homes, and trying to club the land
shark speculaters or the former are fol
me, the latter against me.n Wear dis
posed to think that this Is a pretty fail
statement OF the situation.
s----
EVIDENTLY a good deal remains to b.
said upon the silver question, aud upon tn
silver side Of It, Senator Evarts Is credited
with the intention Of following Mr.. Beol
with speech IN the same line, much to tn
surprise, II nothing worse, of his pollllcl
friends In New York.
THE authorities diner IN regord 10 Minis