Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-09-04
What Ruined ELI Perkins.


Eli Perkins ~ What ruined me was
this: I used to have a strong contempt
for lawyers, I thought their long
croos- examinations were brainless di-
alogues for no purpose. But ever
since Lawyer johnson had me as a
witness in a wood case have had q
better opinion Of the lawyar's skill.
In my direct testimony had sworn
truthfully that ohm Hall had cut ten
cords OF wood in three days. Then
johnson sharpened his pencil and
commenced examining me. 5' MI = :, i, ...s +
"Now, Mr.. Perkins, he began, show
much wood did you say was cut by
Mr.. Half?' ..S ii .'.....r a.. ~ .... s.
"Just ten cords, sir, I answered
boldly. II measured it. !"
That's your impression?'
eyes sir" 49,. f..
.'"Well, we don't want impressions,
sir. What we want is facts before this
jury--f-a-c-t-s, sir, facts!"
+ 1.-THE witness will please state facts
hereafter, - said the Judge, while the
crimson came to my face.
"Now, SIR continued Johnson,
pointing his finger at me, 'win you
swear that it was more than nine
cords?" .st-
eyes, sir. twas ten cords--just"-
'"There! never mind" interrupted
Johnson. "Now, how much less than
twelve cords were there?'
1.-TWO cords, SIR
Chow do you know there were just
two cords less, sir? Did you measure
these two cords, sir?" asked Johnson,
savagely.
mo, sir, p
'1'here, that will do! You did not
measure it. Just as I expected. All
guess-work. Now didn't you swear a
moment ago that you measured this
wood?"
eyes, sir, but" -
"stop, sir! The jury will note this
discrepancy"
"Now, SIR continued Johnson,
slowly, as he pointed his finger almost
down my throat, "Now, sir, on your
oath, will you swear that there were
not ten cords and a half"
eyes, SIR answered meekly.
''Well now, Mr.. Perkins, demand a
straight answer-a truthful answer,
sir: How much wood was there?"
F'T-T-Ten c-c-cords," l answered
hesitatingly."
"You swear it?'
"I-I-d-d-do."
.'Now," continued Johnson, as he
smiled satirically, edo you know the
penalty OF perjury, sir?"
eyes, sir, / think"--
"On your oath, on:your solemn oath
with no evasion, are you willing to
perjure yourself by solenlnly swearing
that there We're more than nine cords
OF wood?"
eyes, sir, u
"Aha! Yes, sir. You are willing to
perjure yourself then? Just as I
thought Turning to the judge); you
see, your honor, that this witness is
prevaricating. He is not willing to
swear that there were more than nine
cords of wood. 1t is Infamous, gentle
men Of the jury, such testimony as
this" The jury nodded assent and
smiled sarcastically at me.
''Now, said Johnson, II will ask this
perjured witness one more question"
II ask you sir-do you know-do
yourealize sir what an awful--a-w-f-u-l
thing it is to tell lie?''
eyes, sir" said, my voice trem-
bling.
And, knowing this, you swear on
your solemn oath that there were
about nine cords of wood?"
"No, sir. don't do anything off,
"Hold on sir! Now how do you
know there were just nine cords?'
II don't know any such thing sir!
T.
"Aha! you don't know then? Just
as expected. And yetyo swore you
did know. Swore you measured it.
Infamous! Gentlemen of the jury,
what shall we do with this perjurer?"
"But p
"Not a word, sir-hush! This jury
shall not be insulted by Il perjurer!-
"Call the next witness"