The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-04-24
ESGLlsII CUSTOMS.
rb,ory and Practice Of The Marriage sys'
ten Discussed.


ten Discussed.
IOnlo,, Spectator.
English society has not made its system
perfect. 1t has based marriage, in theory
atleast, upon the affections ofthe parties
concerned, and it has made 1t as indis'
soluble as It's creed warrants, but II has
not arranged any working system by
which those who contract marriages can
he sure that they understand one another
In the lower classes they do, and in the
middle classes but In classes governed BY
eti1nettes and obserVant OF the ceremonies
Of liie. they have, with every increase in
rank. less and less of opportunity OF know
ledge. and are often when. they marry
mere figures to each other. Man and
woman meets in ball rooms, or in country
honsss but they see little OF each others
minds. and nothing Of each others
inner character. Lord Durham, thougn
experienced in society, ana E sHf'
rounded by women who knew MISS MIL
ner well, and were quite ready 70 alscusE
her. knew 80 little about her that, ~ hls
own account, ho was in doubt Just pe y,
his proposal whether she was not "tht
stupidest girl he had ever seen IN hli
iife.." and that he believed her TO be II
love with him, in spite OF constantly re
Daated evidence 10 the contrary. Hehad
In fact, no knowledge OF her except as u
her outside appearance, and knewhis OWL
iVnorance, for he knew his own doubts
and complained shortly after his marrl
noe that II his wife were not mad, he hat
been yery badly used. There Is no senst
In n system which, while basing marriage
on love. and making the tie indissolu
Bile. allows. and, indeed, often causes mis-
fakes such as that. We do not supposI
Lord Durham is exceptionally foolish
and he certainly was not exceptionally IN
experienced although Miss Mllnel
was exceptionally reserved, she was NO
go much so as to excitein his mind any
idea thst he was left inunusuai Ignorance
The truth is, the upper classes apply Z
their daughters q systam which, without
their intending II, secluaes them tot
much from the men they arc intended Z
marry, and produces half the mistake.
and scandals and separations Of which so
ciety hears so much. The lad and las
often know nothing about each other
The etiquettes have somehow got them
selves wrong, till We have neither tht
English system, which is free choice By
the youdg themselves, nor the trenct
system, which is choice by their families
but an jnconyenient and almost unworka
BILE middle OF both. We always wonder
how the very rich bring themselves L
marry atall, so ignorantas they must be Q
the girls with whom they are to be linked
for life, and so suspicious as they must b.
OF those around them, and hardly wondel
at the way they are Caught" by unprinci
pied married women, whom the laws Q
society permit to be q little more sponta
neous and interesting. We do not know
how reform can be introduced, but ]
ought not to be practically difficult, ant
until It Is introduced the world will con
tinue To be shocked by ut least twice q
many scandals as, allowing fully for tn
inherent yiciousness Of mankind, ough
reasonably to be expected. II is not oni!
that morality is'imperfect but that w
put uponit the perfect needless strain 0
making marriage far too much OF hap
hazard affair.