davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03
BIsLGtFr RIrs.


make money to- day is the proverb for Chicago.
Tribune.
MINSTREL! spare that Joke,
No word of 1t speak thou;
In youth IL tickled me,
But it can't tickle now.
boston S1turdGy EUenjn0 Gazette.
TUE following is a stenographic report of q
convers alton between lean and fat man
about the weather:
i +: !: p
'-- -! - - ~ EDcbanoe.
HERE, walter" shouted a guest in a Chi
cage hotel, bring the fork; 1 cant eat pie
with knife"
II beg your pardon. sir" exclaimed the
waiter, as be hurried after the missing uten-
sill; ~ have been misinfor med l Thought YOU
came from Indiana. PUCK.
WE need temperance revival. The num-
Der OF young, mdd'e-aged and old men with
whisky fiushes on their faces to DC seen daily
IN town is becoming alarming. Some may
think the flush ~ caused by the hot weather;
but when we see men wear out their pants
trying to light q six penny nail we don't think
old Sol has anything to do with the red eyes
anu feyerish cheeks.-Hebrasta Nugget.
Why don't you finish eating your hash.
Tommy" asked Brooklyn mother Of her
boy, who suddenly lad down mis- knife and
fork as he caught sight Of the servant dish
ing out lc0-Cream. impossible, ma" re
pied the lad. "Why?' '''Cause its crowded
out 20 make room for more interesting mat
ter, answered Tommy, who is working i'm a
newspaper Office during his vacetion.-Neeo
York Journal.
A ooLoRED MAN was hunting house to
move into. He was Ia king TO some parties,
when one OF them spOSe up aud asked him if
~. haa PAID ms rent 10 his former landlord.
Yes, sQh,' he said, rather hesita kngly
"Canyou get q recommendations" "Oh, yes,
SAN eau get MI. Smith, my landlord, 10 give
me a recommendation. How do YOU know
you camp ''Oh, ! know | can, cause he
wants me to get out. "-EoansUtAe Argus.
what kind of a man is he! Good, bad, or
indiGerent2''
wei, that depends good deal on who tee
tiers on the other end of the plank with him -
Glow so, sir2"
well ifyou size him up alonS,i le of Judas
Iscariot, he looms up middiiu' iair; but when
you come to set him Gown between such fel
lers g you an me, Judge, he does dwindle
terrible surprisin'-he does, for fact''-
Chicago Ledger.
EDUCATIONAL NoTR.-A student at the
University of Texas who had been leading a
rather dissipated life, wrote TO his father, one
Of the most respectable citizens OF Dallas
Dear Pa: had the misfortune TO be upset
IN boat while ont rowing on the Colorado
river. lost the beautiful watch which yos
gave me. would like some money to hire a
man to dive for 1t. Your affectiouate son,
THOMAS" The old gentleman who Wgs no
fool replied: "It lie not worth while diving for
1t. IL might as we'll be in soak In one place
as another. ''-Tea0s Sir9tR9S.
FIRST DocTOR-"Do you know am begin.
nlng TO suspect SlatheTs2"
Second doctor-"You surprise me. He
seems TO be quite gentleman"
FIRST dOctOr-"O, certainly; but / mean
well, have 10 say 10, but / suspect he is not 9
regular practitioner"
Second doctor-"You horrfy mel"
First dOctor-"In CT. I feel certain of it, y
Second doctOr-"Upon what do you base
yonr opinion"
First dOctor-"Upon facts, SIR facts. AL
his patients recover. - PhiigdsIDhia OdU
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03
Goilrt NnmDer.
q o r GIN Z /!

AsuperiOr and nicely perfumea ic sar,
and Nursery Powder, and a SUI Nos
for Prlckly Heat and other ~. sluP caeh|
Of the skin. Large package soc' -
For sale by all Druegisis'
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

The New York Sun Is firm in the heller
that samuel j. Tilden is now the only lly-
lug ex-President who was elected by the
people and according 70 the constitution
aud laws Of the land. Hayes was a
fraudulent President aud Arthur was
only elected Vice President
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03
gor Rent.

LNOR RENT, an English basement house. on
4 ADercOrn street, one door north OF Hun.
with modern Improvements. Apply to JOHN
ELANNERY.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03
Cost.

T OST, at the matinee Saturday, black
~ parasol. Finder will be rewarded by
leaving same at this office.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

No weather prophet has yet died from
sunstroke or been killed by tornado. As
false as the weather PROPHETS are they are
wise enough ~ take care Of themselves,
or else they are extremely lucky.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

DWELLING FOR SALE, desirably located
~ on Duffy street, south side, third door
from Whitaker, containing parlOr. diuipg-
on the promises; lot 38 feet inches by lO5 feet.
Apply TO HENRY SOLOMON Il son, l73 and
l75 Bay street.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

EOR RENT, that large 7-story oommodious
IA store on the northwest corner of BRYAN
ana AnercOrn streets, recently occupied by
Messrs. Alexander 4 Son For terms apnly
70 JOHN SULLIVAN, ia Bay street.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03
zNantrn.

w AoNTED. person to run No. 8 Wheeler
w & Wilson Machine. Apply M snntt
Broad and Jefferson streets, to Mas. 10 SFs
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

nor RENT, hall room, furnished, with
Il southern exposure. lGl South Broad st
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

Registered cf re Fost once in SaraRnaA o.
scond class Nail Matter.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03
Enr Salr.

DOR SALE, a large lot OF Planed No.
Il Flooring. Ceiling aud Weather boarding
ut So 50 per l,00o in yard; 10000 foet of sxq-M
AZ IS so per 1000 ia yard; Boards at - perl 900
in yard; ScantlIng at 81 per 1000 il yard
Lumber yard Taylor and East Broad streets
REPPARD Il co.
DINE TIMBER FOR SALE.-I offer fox
/ sale a body of 5000 acres of good PINE
TIMBER near railroad. Address
J. II. BAKER
Alapaha, Ga.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

ENOR RENT, nee cottage, SIS per month
l. Possession given at once.
G. II. DORSE1T, 1855 Bay street.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

w ANTED, good cook and first rate bon.o
w servant, ~ ia South Broad street
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

w ANTED, by couple, the first or seco-d
W floor in dwelling, situated north of Homes
and east of Whitaker. Address D., care ~
News. 0"'o Vi
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

WTAETED.-A gentleman and wife -
w to rent fiat of three rooms, and hath
on second floor, in central part OF CITY. Al
dress w ALTHOUk q VERS. 81 Raw atrnnt
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

NOR RENT, two or three furnished rooms.
1 on reasonable terms; bath, etc ADDRESS
W. 9. H., care of Morning News Office
NOR REET.-The very desirable office q
L Bay street, fitted up for, and Orignallyoc -
cupied by, Andrew Low Co., will ba rented
IN parts as may be desired at low rates: also
three warehouses on River street under above
office. Address WIN. L. WAKELkE, P. 0.
box 2S4. Savannah. Ca.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-03

And when the stranger finally get his
change he spent an hour in counting the
ninety-nine cents. But never once did the
government officials frown. They have
learned to be polite and patient.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24

mence. Each wire that runs to the ex-
change is numbered and also each instru-
ment, and the subscriber will hereafter call
by number instead of by the name of the
one with whom he desires to communicate.
To illustrate: ~
If a subscriber has lost dog and is anx-
ious to advertise for its return, he goes to
his phone and rings up central as of yore
but instead of calling for the business de-
partment of the GLOBE he win now say,
as soon as he RECEIVERS from the temporary
paralysis occasioned by the bewitchingly
beautiful voice Of the lady operator:
Hello, give me 1873, please" Number
1873 is the business office of the GLOBE,
and straightway the central, with charac-
teristic promptness and sweetness, connects
the caller (who is No. 16, we'll say,) with
1873, the advertisement is transmitted and
a hundred dogs are brought to his residence
the next day for him to select his pet from.
Again, some one wishes to communicate
an important news item, about some one
clipping with some ones else wife, for in
stance, to the reportorial force. Under
the old system he would call central and
say. ''Hello-hello, l want the editorial
rooms of the GLOBE" Now he will ring up
headquarters and say, Il want 7S-2. T"
Seventy-eight-tw is the GLOBE editorial
rooms, and it can be readily seen that the
new scheme is much more simple than the
old. In other cities where the new ar
raRgement has been adopted it has proved
wholly satisfactory and an improvement
over the old plan of calling by name. No
doubt the st. Paul telephone subscribers
will quickly ''catch ON" to the change and
appreciate it fully when it gets down to a
working basis.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24
CAPITOL NOTES.

Capt. G. A. Curtis, U. S. A., and colonel
commanding the Shattuck school CORP, NJ.
N. e., has reported to Adj. Gen. MacCar-
thy that that body consists of 152 members,
rank and file.
Adj. Gen. MacCarthy has ready, and is
about to distribute to the two regiments Of
Minnesota National guards complete set
of reports, relief rolls. rifle range practice
score sheets, etc, in blank, for use at the
coming summer encampments.
No provision has been made by the
United States Agricultural bureau for the
collection of cereal statistics from the North
west for several months to come, the APP
preparation therefor having been exhausted.
Therefore the number of acres. sown to
wheat in Minnesota this spring will for
sometime to come be matter of guess
work.
Articles of incorporation of the Ancient
Diggings company of Cook county,, Mime
sofa, were filed with the secretary of state
yesterday, for mining, milling, smelling
and transporting gold and silver and other
metals, with capital stock Of 81, 600, 600.
The Office Of the corporation is to be in
Detroit, Mich, and its mining business in
township 81. north OF range 2, east of the
4th principal meridian ON sections and
5, Cook county. The officers and directors
are William r. Spaulding, Sault Ste. Marie,
president; John H. Richardson, Tuscola,
Mich, E. H. Taylor, Vassar, Mich,
Charles J. Hunt, Detroit, Mich, vice presi-
dents; Henry j. Sprague, Detroit, secretary
and treasurer, who with Thomas S. Sprague
and II. F. Eberts of Detroit are directors.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24

announced to the gentlemen who essayed
the ordeal and also to the public at large.
There were twenty-nine candidates who
appeared before the board and made writ
ten replies to the printed questions submit
ted by the committees appointed for each
department., viz: Materia medica, chemis-
try, pharmacy, toxicology and prescriptions.
The board has passed upon the following
named gentlemen as competent to practice
pharmacy, and will issue certificates Of reg
istered pharmacists in examination to each:
Louis Lueders, st. Paul; Charles r. Mar
elius, st. Paul; William j. Rademacher, st.
Paul; Edwin A. Warren. st. Paul; Lewis 8.
Rietz, ST. Paul; Sidney H. Reeves, st. Paul;
Daniel W. Clark, Minneapolis; Henry Her
man Meyer, Sleepy Eye; Fred A. Conger, st.
Paul; John Ross Way, St. Paul; Walter A.
Lewis. Clear Lake, Wis.,; Otto Schmahl, Red
wood Falls, Redwood county; William Gallien,
st. Paul; Frank Joseph Teuber, Minneapolis;
Walter o. Goodsell, Minneapolis; Elliott E.
Litton, Minneapolis; George w. Paige, Min
neapolis.
The certificates are handsomely gotten
up and will be issued as soon as possible
after the rush Of registering, which ends
June2, is over.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24
Notes About Town.


Mr.. III. G, Ferguson yesterday sold
1000, 600 of lumber on an order received by
mail.
The steamer Meta Durant arrived in
port yesterday and left in the afternoon
with raft of logs for the South.
Peter Musser, Mnscatine, Ia, and c. r.
Ainsworth, Moline, ILL.,, arrived last even
ing in the city for the purpose of purchas-
ing logs.
DR.. O'Leary had another full house last
night at Music hall. His lecture was much
appreciated, and he is assured of full houses
during his course here.
The evidence in the quo warranto case of
Hospes, surveyor general, against the Lum-
bermen's Exchange, before Judge Murdoch,
was concluded yesterday.
The receipts of the bridge for the past
week have increased, amounting to $146. 40.
The receipts yesterday were 5000, the
largest of any day this season.
There will be a meeting of the directors
of the st. Croix Saving & Loan association
on Monday evening in the Office of the sec
rotary, for the election of officers.
Miss Bertha May Logee had very pleas
ant party yesterday at her home, TIC
Hickory street, some twenty-five of her
young companions being present.
Water rose yesterday four inches at
Taylor's Falls and logs are passing through
in large numbers. The water is station
airy here at five feet above low water mark.
The steamer Jennie Hayes has been
chartered by the Matt Clark Transportation
company, and will be employed on the
lake preparing RATS for the large boats of
the fleet.
1.-Two prisoners were received yesterday
from Ramsey county at the state prison,
Fred .Lomach, assault with a dangerous
weapon, one year, and G. f. Parker. lar
ceny, one year.
The funeral of Mrs. Charles A. Staples
yesterday afternoon was largely attended,
she being most estimabIe lady and highly
respected by the citizens. She was inferred
in Lakeview cemetery. Rev. Dr. Carroll
conducted the services.
Work is progressing very satisfactorily
on PeterSOn's new building on Main street.
The tin roof is nearly completed and Mr..
Sutherland has about completed his con-
tract for the woodwork. An excellent
foundation has been built in front for the
brick veneer.
The receipts Of grain yesterday were
larger than during any time since last sea-
son, and much surprise is expressed that SO
much wheat is still in the hands of the
farmers. The principal cause of selling,
however, is taxes must be paid before the
1st day of June or penalty Of 10 per cent.
is added.
The steamer Glenmont is expected to
leave to-day with half raft of logs for the
Cascade Lumber company, Burlington, Ia,
and half raft of lumber for Gilbert, Hedge
d. Co., of the same place. The Glenmont
which is new boat, is making good
record for her owners, Gillespie & Harper,
of this city.
At meeting of several of the members
of the Presbyterian church, held at the
Office of Hon. Isaac Staples, means were
taken to lessen the debt on the church, a
considerable amount being subscribed for
that purpose. 1t is also contemplated to
build parsonage as soon as possible.
L.W. Wadleigh and =. J. Robertson re.
turned yesterday morning from Straight
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24
FILLED CASE WATCHES.

Pledge No. "a, p. 25s-Hunting Crown filled case
watch, stem wInder and SETTER full jeweled nickel
Elgin movement, cut expansion balance and
patent pinion Louis XIV. box cases, very ele-
gantly engraved cases, fine engine-turned and
scroll work; only used one month, could not tell
it from new; first cost $75, sell for $40.
Pledge No. II, p. 25s-Open face, filled case
watch, made by Chicago Watch company. Wal
than movement, cut expansion balance and pat
ent pinion, screw bezel; plain case; splendid
watch for the money, almost new; first cost $3.50,
sell for $40.
Pledge No. SO. p. 2e-Open face Boss filled case
watch, key-winder, B. W. Raymond Elgin move
ment full jeweled, cut expansion balance, patent
pinion and regulator, adjusted to heat. cold and
position, very pretty engraved case, almost new;
first cost $780, sell for $42.50.
Pledge No. 81, p. 156-Hunting Boss hlled case
watch, key winder, H. Fl. Taylor, Elgin movement,
cut expansion balance and patent pinion, full Jew
eled, very neatly engraved cases, on one side
village at the foot of mountain, on the other cir
cles of flowers; has been used about two years;
first cost $50, sell for $685.
Pledge No. 81, p 25s-Open face, Boss filed case
watch, Elgin full-jeweled movement. patent pin
ion and expansion balance beautifully engraved
case, in tip-top order nearly new; hrst cost $685.
sell for $27.50.
Pledge No 6, p 2so-Hunting, G.. W. Ladd filed
case watch, three-fourths Elgin jeweled move
ment cut expansion balance and patent pinion,
full shell engraved case, in thorough order, as
good as new; first cost $5S, sell for $50.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24
SHE WANTED TO DIE,
But the Science of Physicians Saved
Her Life.

Her Lie.
As she put the poisonous liquid to her
lips she said, IF cannot live for him
alone life will be vacancy"
1t appears that month or two ago a
well-connected young man in the city con-
ceived passionate fondness for a certain
ecclesiastical young lady who has an entire
into ST. Paufs best society. This young
man is the possessor OF some
fast horse flesh and with nice covered
buggy behind it, the drives were frequent
and delightful. But there was an interloper
"a married lady-who also took great
fancy to this dashing young gentleman, and
at an oppOrtune moment posted the young
masher that this other young lady was only
cOndescending for the sake OF Those lovely
drives" Mr.. Man thought over
some previous remarks that had
been made, and it now dawned
upon him that he was 'being worked" But
he had gone too far to quit without ing
ering thought; he commences making love
to the interloper, with the intention OF max
ing her upon whom his thoughts were con-
tinually, jealous. These proceedings be-
came notifying and tedious, and On FIJI
day evening he returned to his old love penl-
tently and persuaded her 10 drive With Hliii
to another part of the city to singing party.
Word was dispatched by an unknown to the
third party, and the news was SO depress-
ing that she concluded that when ''he
was gone there was nothing to live for. and
proceeded to the medicine drawer and took
therefrom bottle labeled 'laudanum.
This she placed to her lips and took more
than the regular dose, the result being that
she was soon unconscious. Two physicians
were called and after administering antidotes
and restoratives, brought her to her senses.
But she was scarcely rational, for she con-
tinually called for NJ, and he was sent
for and kept her company until late hour
yesterday morning. The matter has grown
much more serious than the young man an
ticipated, and it is doubtful whether he
will be seen again on st. Peter street for
some time to come.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24
wOOED BUT NOT WON.
The SeyueI of Love Story Told IN
the Police Court.

The Seyuel OF a Love StOTy lOiu III
the Police Court.
SIN the spring young mans fancy lightly
turns to thoughts of love-" and the willy,
winsome widow watches for another dove;
in the spring the giddy guyer gazes on
some dainty lips, and when no one elsh Is
looking, quick the saccharine nectar sips.
At least the artless Tom Law is said to
have done this one evening last week,
when he rowed Mrs. Francs OF
the Upper levee to the island and
stopped there for three longhours. Fourteen
women who looked on this action as the fox
in the fable looked on the sour grapes, COM
planned of it to the authorities, and Tom
and Mrs. Francis were taken in. When
the Judge remarked, ''A[rs. Francis, you
are charged with disorderly conduct; are
YOU guilty or not guilty?" the woman
raised her voice and shouted, mot guilty.
yer HONOR The fourteen women who had
appeared to testify in the case, with voices
representing every sound from shoe fac
tory whistle to an Atlantic ocean fOg-hOrn,
burst out, "Oh, what an awful story"
Each of the women testified that Law was
a lalah, but at the same time was "a hor-
rid mean man." They all said they saw
him row Mrs. Francis to the island and
stop there ''three whole hours" On this
testimony the judge considered that Law
was sufficiently prosecuted and dismissed
the case.
John Iverson and N. Estergreen saw
bit of chance to steal brace of carpen-
ters tools on Thursday. They were ac-
cordingly sent out for thirty and ten days
respectively.
j. O'Toole, the Connemara who called
another a Swede, and was promiscuously
punctured with knife for doing SO, was
remanded until the Goth.
Thomas Kelly, the man held for forgery,
was dismissed on instructions from the chief
of police.
The case of P. Marks, charged with
keeping an unlicensed junk shop, was dis
missed on payment of costs.
ID. Gardner and R. Moore broke into a
school house on Rice street. Their case was
continued.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24
LOCAL NOTICES.
Music Hall, Monday Evening, May
25. 1855.

DR.. O'Leary's lecture on the brain and
nerves and their diseases. How to prevent
and cure headache, fidgets, paralysis, de-
bility, sleeplessness, neuralgia, Mysteries,
nervousness, backache, hallucinatlon, in
sanity and other nervous disorders. Ex-
tensively illustrated with skeleton OF
gorilla, human skeletons. skulls of men and
animals, Of gorllas, models of the human
brain and one of the gorilla. Dissectiens of
the brain, nerves and spinal chord. A lift
ing and weighing machine and a gripping
machine, all free to those who wish to
amuse themselves and try their power of
nerve and muscle.
Admission free. Boys 10 cents or pass
from their teacher. Course tickets IS cents
for seven lectures, including one private
lecture, or so cents if bought at free lecture.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-24
WOLF IN SLEEPS CLOTHING.
A Drummer Preaching Il Sermon to
an Edited Congregation.

an Edited Congregation.
The commercial tourist is an individual
of diversified talents and equal to almost
any emergency which presents itself. st.
Paul is not a jot behind her sister cities in
shrewd representatives of the genus drum
mer. One of these, who shall be known as
Notions, is one of the most versatile of his
class. There is an interior town of the
state which all the drummers
make it a point to reach on Sun
day, if they find this day has to be spent
son the road" The place has good hotel
and the reputation of containing more
pretty girls than any other town for miles
around Here Notions has customer
ranking A 1, and every trip he brings away
a good-sized order from the aforesaid Gus
TONER The good customers wife is very
religious and the leader in new church So
ciety which has recently sprung into life
and has not yet been able to Sc
cure ministerial head. When
Notions is in town on Sunday
he has been in the habit of leading the sing
ing with his rich baritone, talking in a
fatherly way to the Sabbath school children
and on occasions addressing himself to the
elders of the flock. Several Sundays ago a
number of sample men were in the village
and attended in body the meeting of the
new church people. Notions was the leader,
and after song the good customers wife
handed him slip of paper containing a
text from an obscure book in the Bible, with
a request that he preach therefrOm. Notions
turned the leaves of Bible in search of
the book and not finding it leaned toward
the front bench, on which his fellow tray
elers were seated. saying in an audible
whisper to one of them: ''Say, Staple,
where is that text-I'm id if 1 can find
it," The good customers wife Strengthened
up in her seat as if an electric current had
agitated her spine, the good deacons looked
Mortified. while the drummers were con-
vulsed. But the text was finally found, and
the story goes that Notions outdid himself
and preached an excellent sermon. Mrs.
Goodcustomer never lost her rigidity, how
ever, and Notions fears falling off of
trade and mourns his loss of caste.