Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-07-02
HERE AND THERE.

that has the greatest Will power.
Why ought greedy man to wear plaid
waistcoat? To keep check on his stomach.
Fora family medicine Ayers Sugar Coat
ed Pills are unrivalled. They root out dis
ease, as if by magic.
The greatest statesman is he who most
carefully conceals his own blunders and
knows how to take advantage of the blum
ders Of others.
Mr.. Hendricks, in an interview in Chica-
go yesterday, said he looked upon the Vice
Presidency as a position of dignifed laziness.
-Chicago Times
It was the Summer concert Thomas cat
who remarked, " If can sing the midnight
songs for the people, do not care who gets
the applause"
"No, said Philadelphia bride, " am
not willing that our wedding tour should
include the Yellowstone Park. Yellow
doesn't agree with my complexion"
The man who loses what he expected to
make is a martyr in his mind as much as if
he had lost something that had really been
in his possession Orleans Pieay,ue
Gen. Toombs says the negro race is
scrub race Gen. ToOmbs is mistaken. The
negro race is no longer a scrub race unless
you-watch it, as any housskeeper can testify.
There is one place in this country-away
down in Maine-where the people are so po-
lite that they never speak of unmarried ladies
as old maids They simply call them ladies'
in-waiting Burlington { ~ Free Press.
Ii should be remembered to the everlast-
ing credit of Nebuchadnezzar that though
he cast ShadEach, Meshach, and Abednego
into the fiery furnace he did not ask them
" Well, is this hot enough for you?"
Judge Mackey once remarked to a grand
/ jury in one of the upper counties that the
great desideratum with stock raisers in
South Carolina was hog that can outrun
a negro and that shall depend for its safety
on It's swittness and not upon the statute"
There is a fellow in the Santa Cruz Noun
taius who has a gas well. He has led apipe
from it into his house, and uses it for light
and fuel. No trouble. All he has to do is
TO turn on a faucet and the bowels of the
earth are behind him.
"Ifa civil word or two will render man
happy" and French king, he must be a
wretch indeed who viii not give them to him.
Such a disposition is like lighting another
mans candle by ones own, which loses none
of its brilliancy by what the other gains"
Teacher; so you can't do a simple sum
in arithmetic? Now let me explain it to
you. Suppose eight of you have together
IS apples, 81 peaches and 10 melons, what
viii each one Of you get" Cholera NOR
bus, replied Johnny Fizzletop, an Austin
boy. who is adapted to that malady.
As between long leaders and the epigram-
matte style i'm editorials the newspapers are
divided, though most of them incline to the
latter, as it saves time and labor and is more
apt to be read. The objection to it is that
/ it is not sufficiently comprehensive. Still,
there may be something in the idea of Sam
Weller when the brevity of his valentine
was objected to She'll wish there was
moreaul that's the great art o. letter writin'. 5"
Old Languet, the celebrated Cure of st.
Sulpice, was remarkable and disagreeable
for the importantly with which he solicited
subscriptions for finishing his church, which
is not vet finished. One day at supper
where Cardinal de Pleury was, he happened
TO saw that he had seen his Eminence's por-
trait at some painters The Old Cardinal
who was stingy in private as well as eco
nomical in public expenditure, was glad to
raise q laugh at the troublesome old cure,
and replied, " dare swear, then, you asked
it THE picture to subscribe" ooh, no, my
Lord, said Languet, 1t was too like -
Robert. remarked the wife of a penu-
rious man, ct have tried to be a good and
faithful wife and have but one favor to ask
YOU before 1 die" What is that, Marga-
ret" You know l was born and reared
in Cleveland. 1t was there first met you,
and the happiest hours Of our welded life
were spent You remember this, Robert ~
Yes" 'uneasly.l Ny relatives are all
buried there, and when I am gone wish to
rest beside them. VIII you grant me this
one fayor?" There viii be considerable
expense attaching TO it, musingly.) ooh
Robert win never rest in my grave any
where else 20 well, Maggie. I'll tell you
what I'll do. don't want to be mean about
the thing. I'll bury you here first, and then
if notice any signs Of restlessuess on your
part, I'LL take you to Cleveland. So. Louis
| RTnlicm.