davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
A Needed Decision.
Ne,o York Times.

That it is lawful for a lady to wear a
low-necked dress at ball is conceded,
but it has long been felt that an au-
thoritive definition of the limits of the
territory known as the neck is needed.
How far does the feminine neck ex-
tend, and precisely where does it be-
come merged in the contiguous terri
tories of back and bosom !? Men, of
course, know nothing as to this matter,
and woman seem to know very little
more. Something in the nature of
boundary commission with power to
make an exhaustive survey is clearly
needed.
At last we are about to have this i'm
portant boundary question settled by
judicial decision. A young lady wear
ing low-necked dress was recently ex-
PEELED from ball by one of the man
ayers on the ground that her dress was
too low. She appealed at once to a
court for redress, and the court will
have to decide how low low-neoked
dress may be worn, or, in other words,
what are the precise limits of the femi-
nine neck.
With the methods by which the
court will arrive at its decision we have
no concern. 1t is evident, however,
that the court will have to appoint a
commission of experts who will make a
survey and fix boundary which, in
their opinion, should be adopted as the
southerly boundary of neck. Such a
report, properly illustrated with topo-
graphical map, would give the court
sufficient data on which to base de-
cision. At any rate, decision will be
made, and we shall soon know the true
extent of neck, and be able to decide
at a glance whether any given low
necked dress keeps within the terrific
rial limits or whether it unlawfully en-
croaches upon territory not appertain-
ing to neck.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02

Bucks County Mtelligencer.

The relative merits of the different
breeds of cows is question each one
prefers to decide for himself. There is
no disputing the fact that each has a
distinctive place and many admirers.
The only way for one to decide appears
to be in favor of his own fancy. But
in these cases the question of suitable
ness to his particular surroundings is
too often left out of sight, and he
buys whatever the drovers offer him.
Wouldn't it be better to test the matter
by the result of performance and thus
determine which breed, all things con-
sidered, is the best for this part of the
country7 There is a merit in all the
different breeds. Let a man decide
what he wants to produce from his
dairy-milk to sell to city consumers,
milk to sell at the creamery, or milk
to make the most and best butter, and
leave the best skim milk TO feed ON the
farm. Having settled this question,
the next step is to find the COW best
adapted to fill the requirements most
economically. Some one of the i'm
proved breeds or its crosses will fill the
bill, but which one? That is the point
to settle. But it will probably be a
good while before the settlement is
reached. If there were an experiment
station where such trials could be made,
with no preconceived preferences or
prejudices, the matter might be decided
in such way as to carry weight. This
question needs settling, but there ap-
pears to be no authoritative or sarisfac-
tory method available. Let number
of men test their herds, not their best
individual cows, and compare results,
making note of age, number feeding,
and all other points, that should enter
such a trial. In this way some light
could be shed on the subject, showing
the way to the best cow for US.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
What She Wanted.

Mrs. Sam Smart advertised for col
ored servant. An elegantly dressed
colored lady put in an appearance.
She wanted SIS a month in advance,
which was conceded. She wanted a
room with carpet and stove, where
she could receive the visits of 'seberal
gemmen who am payin' me tenshuns. ,
This was also granted. She was to be
allowed to attend church all day Sun
day and twice during the week. When
a revival was in progress she proposed
to be out every evening in the week.
This and several other concessions were
granted by Mrs. Smart who is franti-
cally opposed to doing any hard work
herself, and who will put up with every
thing from servant rather than soil
her precious hands.
sAnd I wants hit understood about
me meals continued the would-be
menial. Il likes to eat hearty. We
has to hab beef steak or sausage every
mornin', and for myself want choco-
late instead of coffee.
'Den I wants lunch of cold ham OF
tongue about 10 o'clock, SO kin hold
out till dinner at I O'Clock. l don't
take coffee with my dinner. De coffee
and cakes come about half past S
O'Clock in the afternoon, which will
make me hold out till tea at 6. DE-
best time for supper am about 8 o'clock
Good supper | wants.
4 say, said Sam Smart, who hao
been listening with growing indigna
ton, suppose we keep you busy eating
all the time, how much more will yol
charge by the month 2
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
ACME HALL,
The Finest Clothing,
200 WEST BALTIMORE ST.,
NEAR CHARLES, BALTIMORE.
May 3,'84y.

4 Cause for Rejoicing Among the Weak and
Debitit0ted.
PUBLIC WANT FILLED AT LAST!
sCHROEDER'S
IRON TONIC IND BLOOD PURIFIER
The only Iron in solution ,cithout Orydation (rust
inq.) Entirely free from alcohol. Not injuri-
Gus. The best in the world. Price so cts.
at Druggists and Country Stores.
DEpoT-103 HANOVER ST., BALTIMORE.
HOME TESTIMONIALS
Mrs. Annie M. Shirley, of Harrisonville, Balti-
more county, Md, writes: 81 was troubled with
indigestion and after using Schroeders Iron Tonic
it gave me great relief. | think it an excellent
medicine in a family"
Susan Ann Gosnell, of Hsrrisonville, writes -
"I was very weak and feeble during the hot
weather. and took bottle of Schroeder's Iron
Tonic and Blood Purifier, which strengthened me
greatly and gave me good appetite"
Mrs. L. st. Leon, of So st. Paul street, Balti-
more, writes that Schroeder's Iron Tonic has en-
trely relieved her of nervous debility and weak
ness.
REMARKABLE CURE.-I was suffering with
cough and pain in my side for the past two years
and grew extremely weak. During that time
had several physicians attending me, but deriving
no benefit from their treatment. They pronounced
my disease consumption. 1 concluded to try
Schroeder's Iron Tonic, not expecting it to cure
me, but merely using it as an appetizer and tonic
After using three bottles I was entirely cured of
my disease and feel stronger than have for the
past eight years. F. PFAMMILLER,
346 W. Pratt street, Baltimore.
Oct ct11tJuly19'S5
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
Two Western Wives.
Portland Oregonian.

There left St. Paul in Pullman car
on the Northern Pacific Railroad re-
Gently two ladies, bound West, each to
meet her husband and each bearing to
the father his child which he had not yet
seen. One of the ladies had been mar
ried in Chicago on Christmas Day,
1882, and the following fall her hus-
band went to Helena to seek his fortune.
He had obtained fair start and sent
for his wife to join him in his new
Western home. Her babe was hazel
eyed boy, already in short clothes, and
she declared it to be the perfect image
of its father. The train reached Hele-
ma late at night and none of the
passengers saw the meeting of the inter-
ested parties.
The other lady was Mrs. Taylor, of
Liverpool, wife of Captain Taylor, mas
ter of an English ship now lying at
Tacoma. She was married two years
ago and had not seen her husband since
he sailed for Australia last April. A
Portland gentleman was a passenger in
the sleeper and related to an Oreg0nian
reporter something of the pleasure and
amusement the little woman and her
little babe afforded all her fellow-trav-
elers. "Both the little woman and the
little babe were cheerful, good-looking,
bright-eyed and fair to see, and every
passenger felt protecting interest in
them. 1t wasn't long before all had
won her confidence. There never was
woman so full of hope and tenderness
and love and anxiety as this little woman
was, and all day long she wondered
whether the captain would be at the
depot to meet her or whether the cap
tain had got her telegram, and whether
if she sent the baby ashore by some
body else the captain would know it
meeting it in the street, which, seeing
that he had never set eyes on it in his
life, was not very likely in the abstact,
but was probable enough to the young
mother. She was such an artless little
creature and was in such a sunny,
hopeful state and let out all this matter
clinging close about her heart so freely
that the two other lady passengers en-
tered into the spirit of it as much as
she. There was one little weazen,
dried-apple-faced old woman who took
occasions to doubt the constancy of
husbands in such circumstances, and
there was another lady old enough to
moralize on the lightness of human af-
fections and yet not SO old that she
could not help nursing the baby now
and then or smiling with the rest when
the little woman called it by its fathers
name and asked it all manner of fantas-
tic questions concerning him in the joy
of her heart"
At last the train pulled up at the
East Portland station at o'clock yes
terday afternoon. 1t had scarcely stop
ped when good-looking, large, bronz-
ed man entered the car. Dropping her
babe upon the seat in front of her the
little woman sprang up and in a mo-
r,acur was elinging around the captains
neck. Several of the passengers could
not see plainly through their tears for
the next minute and none of them cared
to remain and disturb the scene as the
little woman led the father back to the
babe
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
The Great Society War.

Washington Dispatch to the Ne,o York Sun.
The simmering of the social stew
which is to be served piping hot next
December may already be distinctly
heard at times. 1t begins with the dis
position to be made of the lady of the
White House, Miss Cleveland. There
seems to be no intention to resort to
violence, as has sometimes been done
at White House receptions. Miss
Cleveland is to be permitted at the
White House to be the first lady of the
land. But there, according to the law
of the social female Congress now in
secret session, her dominion is to end.
Outside of the Executive Mansion and
grounds the Vice Presidents wife is to
rank as first and the Presidents sister
second. The second in importance
among the already celebrated cases
pending is that of Miss Bayard, the
daughter of the Secretary of State, who,
when her mother is ill, assumes her
duties. This is not to be endured by
the wives of other Cabinet officers.
Wives are to come before sisters and
daughters, even though their husbands
be somewhat lower in station.
The exact status of Mrs Blaine as the
lady of the defeated candidate for the
Presidency has not yet been decided
upon but if it is not somewhere high
enough up to create commotion and re-
sistance it will be because James G. has
forgotten his diplomacy and Gail Ham
ilton her love of mischief.
The women of the country will GER
tainly be treated to their full share of
entertainment in the settlement of great
questions at the national capital next
winter. Mingled with the debates on
tariff revision and silver coinage will
come over the wires exciting details of
the battle raging to establish the order
in which the wives of official nabobs
shall smile at those below them, and
gaze with unaffected wonder upon some
of those above.
Jeffersonian simplicity may do for
bluff old fellows like Garland, Randall
and the President himself; but little
of it goes great way among the gentler
sex
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02

In the executive office of the Senate
there are preserved all the executive
messages of Presidents of the United
States from the foundation of the Gov
eminent. Though not often referred
to, some of these documents are becom-
ing worn, and recently Gen. McCook,
the Secretary of the Senate, caused Sc
lections to be made from the files, with
view to preserving some of the inter-
esting autographs in cabinet by them
selves. 1t appears from this collection
that none of the Presidents, with the
exception of Washington and Jefferson,
would be marked above 50 for penman-
ship by a Civil Service Commission.
Washington's first contribution to the
collection embodies nominations for
Judges, Marshals, and Attorneys for the
districts of New York and New Jersey
and at the end of the same documents
are the nominations of Thomas Jeffer-
!. son, Edmund Randolph, and Samuel
Osgood for Secretary of State, Attorney
General, and Postmaster General re-
spectively. The signature is written in
fair legible hand, which would pass
to-day for that of man not entirely
careless of appearances, yet having con-
fidence enough in his own work to let
the details of penmanship take care of
themselves.
Mr.. Jefferson penned his signature
with easy grace, but his economy of
space was such that his documents as a
whole fall below the present standard
of clerical excellence. He wrote most
of his messages with his own hand.
In all of John Adams signatures the
small letters are more than half an inch
long. In his message of July 2, 1898,
nominating Washington to be Lieuten
ant General, and unsuccessful attempt
appears to have been made to write the
whole document on the same ample
scale.
Mr.. Madison wrote an irregular hand,
devoid of marked peculiarities.
Mr.. Monroe used coarse pen and
wrote hesitatingly.
Andrew Jackson's first message, dated
March 6, 1899. is an autograph docu-
ment throughout, and more than any
other one of the series its style seems
characteristic of its author. Its letters
are angular and unsymmetrical, but
they are legible, and there is an air of
self-assertion about the ducument which
eliminates in the emphatic underscor-
ing of the signature.
Martin Van Buren's hand was un-
steady when he penned his first message
but he wrote better the next day.
James K. Folks contribution to the
collection is an autograph message pen
ned in what would be taken for feme-
nine hand, yet with few of the graces
ofpenmanship. His autograph is rather
pretentious, with row of dots and sew
eral cramped fourishes beneath it.
Harrison's and Tyler's signatures
have no distinguished characteristics.
Taylor and Lincoln each wrote firm
ly and legibly, but with extreme SIM
iEeiiy and without any supcrhuous
marks. Millard Fillmore's signature is
very SlLllldT 10 tHelIS III CHARACTER, Dul
rather smoother.
James Buchanan's hand trembled
when he signed his first message, and
he made a failure of the elaborate scroll
work attachment to his first initial.
Franklin Pierce wrote sprawling
schoolboy signature. Andrew Johnson
started fairly upon the line, then fell
little below it, but recovered himself at
the end
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
About Presbyterian Jurymen.

Tom Marshall, a famous Kentucky
lawyer, once declared that he would
never try doubtful case before a jury
in which there was a single Presbyteri-
an, giving his reason in the following
story, which we take from the New York
Observer:
Crittenden and I had an important
case to try, but had grave doubts as to
the rightfulness of our side. Our op-
ponents were-and-(well known
by lawyers, but whose names l have
forgotten.) When the pleading began
I took steady look at the jury, all of
whom were known to me, and was
startled at its singular composition.
Three were Presbyterians, three were
Baptists. three were Methodists, and
three were of no faith. Instantly
made up my mind what to do. would
win them in detail, beginning with the
three of no faith. When my turn came
to address the jury gave my exclusive
attention to the three of no faith, and
after time saw had them. Then
l turned to the three Methodists, and
after time saw l had them. Then
turned to the three Baptists and after a
time l saw I had them.
And then / turned to the three Pres
byterians, but l could not make no i'm
preston upon them. They were intel
ligent men and listened attentively to
what l said and appreciated it, but in
their faces I could see written plainly,
"Good, good, Mr.. Marshall, but to the
law and to the testimony" I re-
doubled my effort, and if ever 1 was
eloquent was in addressing those three
men, but could make no impression
upon them.
"To the law and to the testimony"
was written all over their faces. -
followed with an able speech, but he
did not get the nine; the three Presby-
terians, however, were with him. Crit
tenden followed, and gave the jury
one of his strongest arguments and most
eloquent appeals. The nine were with
him heart and soul. But there sat
those three Presbyterians, unmoved and
unmovable; appreciating all he said,
but saying in their faces as plainly as if
by their lips, eloquent, able, magnifi-
cent, Mr.. Crittenden, but to the law
and to the testimony"
When the jury retired 1 turned to
Crittenden and said, "We have lost
our case" "Why what makes you
think so ?" "Well, nine of the jury are
for US, but three are against us, and the
three q know them) will win over the
nine" When the verdict was render
ed it was against us. And upon in
quiry l found it had been just as 1 told
Crittenden it would be. The three
had won over the nine to "the law and
the testimony"
And then and there I determined
would never try another case of which
1 stood in doubt before jury in which
there was single Presbyterian.
elbow do you account, Mr.. Mar
shall for this law and testimony stub
borunCoo rs
"It is all because of the way you con-
founded Presbyterians train your chill
dren in the shorter catechiSm."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
The DeacOn's Horse Trade.

He seemed innocent, childlike, confiding,
That youth who snapped horses with me,
But I've known of such mild manners hiding
Duplicity frightful to see.
And horse trades horse trade. Eachparty
Is always supposed to intend
To be crooked. therefore was hearty
In trying to keep up my end.
And he lied like the mischief, knew it,
About bis brown fve-year old mare
Why, wondered, sir, how he could do it
With such a frank, innocent air
For my own part make no pretension
That all that told him was true;
What is more, neglected to mention
Some outs my horse had, that knew.
But horse trades horse trade, remember
The day is supposed to be cold
AS the coldest we get in December
For him who turns out to be sold.
Well, we traded, and would you believe it?
I've found out by driving that mare
That the youth didn't try to deceive me,
But told the thing honest and square.
had beat him like blazes Howbeit
My conscience is clear, understand;
If lied, you have got to agree it
Is just what our customs demand.
But I've pondered deal, for week, on
The matter. 7 curious am r
To find out just what sort-of deacon
That youth has concluded am
Boston Post.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
Some Consolation for Single Men.
Rochester Courier.

Several manageable young men of
Rochester are in a terrible pickle.
They have heretofore given as a reason
for not marrying that they could not
afford the luxury. About month ago
several manageable young ladies put
their heads together and prepared a
document proving conclusively that
families of from two to six (they pro-
vided for the future, you see,) can live
we'll on 50 a week. Having disposed
of rents, fuel, and provisions, these
artless girls turned their attention to
clothing, and the document aforesaid
states that the woman who cannot dress
stylishly and save money on $50 year
is not worth the marrying. Then these
girls made copies of the original and
sent one to each of the eligible young
men.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
His Malady Accounted For.

Plumbers wife (sitting by his bed
clad in an engossed velvet gown and
with SI25,o 900 worth of jewels scientil-
lating on her ears and fingers )-"Is he
dangerously ill, doctor ?"
stDoctor-"No, indeed. He is the
most comfortably off of all my pa
TENTS"
"But what makes his right arm and
hand shake so?"
"That's only scrivener's palsy"
"Palsy !" she exclaimed, with 9
clasp of her jewelled hands; "what
could have so Frustrated my dear AL
gernoon1"
"He has been writing too much with
out rest" smiled the doctor. "Ht
tells me he has been steadily at worl
day and night, for four months past
making out his annual bills"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
will Find Out BY and By.
Merchant Traveller.

'Pa,' said little boy who had been
reading the newspaper, what is a
minority reporta'
"a minority report, my on7' inquir-
ingly repeated the father.
'Yes, sir
well, my son. he answered,
scratching his head, "a minority report
is--is--is-well, my son, where l say
I--won't and your mother says had
better; that's minority report.
(which one, pa-yours or mothers? :?
Run out and play, my son; you are too
young to understand such matters.
When you are older you won't have to
ask SO many questions.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02
Honesty the Best Policy.

eyes," said the Honest Farmer, "I.
know there are people what always
puts the big apples at the top of the
bar'l, but | DON'T
"That's right" exclaimed the dea-
con admiringly. 81 have always tried
to convince folk that that sort O. thing
don't pay in the long run"
eff they'd go to the city once in
awhile they'd learn something. l al
ways put my big apples at the bottom
of the bar'l."
"That's the way"
eyes; you see people has got so
suspicious that they most always open
the bar'l at the bottom nowadays"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02

s@'To test your vanity says an ex-
change, slip down on the sidewalk in
front of your best girl This looks to
us more like test of your trousers than
your vanity.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02

B9-A man in Georgia tells of ten
pound trout which stopped mill
wheel. Either the wheel must have
been smaller than the trout or the lie
bigger than the mill.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02

B@rsThat's little off COLOR said
the swain as he wiped the paint from
his lips after he kissed his sweetherat's
cheek.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02

G-Artistic exclusiveness She
"And did you paint much when you
were in Norway and Sweden 2" He
"A-not; there was anothah paintah
there"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-05-02

B9rOld, broken nosed pitchers
which during the recent 'ancient"
craze brought $500 are now worth only
40 cents.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-02-13
SIDEWALK NOTES.

The game market Is not as flush with
game MS IL should be.
Theremains OF Mr.. j. p. Goodnight
were Inferred Yesterday In tho family
burial grounds, at Lisbon, with Ma
sonic honors,
1he streets are sloppy aud the sido-
walks are covered over with coating
.oi ice, VIII ch makes tho pedestrians
wary In their meandorings.
II you are tired taking tho large, old
iasIinned, gr'ping pills, try Carter's
Llttlo Liver Pills and take some com
iort' a man can't stand everything.
One pin dose.
Mr., John N. Haney, of Granbury,
Hood county, Is overhauliup his mill,
and has put In two large boilers and
now mill machinery, furnished by
Messrs' Sinker, Davis 4 Co., of this city.
Former agents for Dvas & Cutter of
Cutter6 Co., Of Dallas, and others desir-
ing to sell the celebrated Missouri
steam washer, will leacn something to
tnelr advantage by addressing j. Worth,
81 Louis, Mo-, who N now sole manu-
lecturer ana has exclusive control OF the
sale of these machines.
Born to the wife of Deputy Sheriff
Work, yesterday morning, a son, weigh
ing twelve pounds. The happy father
was ~ beside himself with Joy that he
rode four miles into tho country, armed
with capias, and arrested aud took
bond Tor tue wrong man, aud it was
take.