The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-19
MRS. BULLFROG.
BY NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE

It makes me melancholy to see how like fools some very sensible people act in the matter of choosing wives. They p.rplex their judgments by a most undue attention to lIttle niceties of personal ap- pearance, habits, disposition, and other ,riaes which concern nobody but the lady herself. An unhappy gentleman, resolving to wed nothing short of perfec- ton, keeps his heart and hand till both get so old and withered that no tolerable woman will accept them. Now, this is the very height of absurdity. A kind Providence has so skillfully adapted sex to sex and the n ass of individuals to each other, that, with certain obvious excep- tions, any male and female may be mod erately happy in the married state. The true rule is, to ascertain that the match is fundamentally good one, and then take it for granted that all minor objections, should there be such, will vanish if you let them alone. Only put yourself be. yond hazard as to the real basis of mat rimonial bliss, and it is scarcely to be imagined what miracles, in the way of recognizing smaller incengruities, con- nubial love will effect.
 For my own part, freely confess that, in my bachelorship, I was precisely such an over-curious simpleton as now ad- wise the reader not to be. My early hab- its had gifted me with feminine sensi bility and too exquisite refinement. l was the accomplished graduate of dry goods store, where, by dint of minister ing to the whims of fine ladies, and suit ing silken hose to delicate limbs, and handling satins, ribbons, chintzes, cali coes, tapes, gauze, and cambric needles, grew up very lady-like sort of gen. tleman. It is not assuming too much to affirm that the ladies themselve, were hardly so lady-like as Thomas Bullfrog. So painfully acute was nay sense of fe- male imperfectien, and such varied ex- cellence did lrequire in the woman whom l could love, that there was an awful risk of my getting no wife at all, or of be- ing driven to perpetrate matrimony with nay own image in the looking glass. Be- sides the fundamental principles already hinted at, demanded the fresh bloom of youth, peariy teeth, glossy ringlets, and the whole list of lovely items, with the ut- most delicacy of habits and sentiments, a silken texture of mind, and, above all. a virgin heart. In word, if young angel just from Paradise, yet dressed in earthly fashion, had come and offered me her hand, it is by no means certain that should have taken 1t. There was every chance of my becoming most miserable old bachelor, when by the best luck in the world, made journey into another state, and was smitten by, and smo.e again, and wooed, won and married the present Mrs. Bullfrog, all in the space of fortnight. Owing to these extempore measures, not only gave my bride credit for certain perfections which have not as yet come to light, but also overlooked a few trifing defects, which, however, glim- mered on my perception long before the close of the honeymoon. Yet, as there was no mistake about the fupdamental principle aforesaid, soon learned as will be seen, to estimate Mrs. Bullfrogs de. hciencies and opportunities at exactly their proper value.
 The same morning that Mrs. Bullfrog and came together as unit, we took two seats in the stage-coach and began our journey towards my place of business. There being no other passengers, we were as much alone and as free to give vent to our raptures as if had hired hack for the matrimonial jaunt. My bride looked charmingly iH a green silk calash and riding habit ot pelisse cloth and, whenever her red lips parted with a smile, each tooth appeared like an ines timable pearl. Such was my passionate warmth that-we had Yattled out of the village, gentle reader, and were lonely as Adam and Eve in Paradise-I pleaded guilty to DO less freedom than a kiss The gentle eye of Mrs. Bullfrog scarcely re- buked me for the proclamation. Embold- ened by her indulgence, threw back the ealash from her polished brov, and sui tered my fingers, white and delicate as her own, to stray among those dark and glossy curls which realized my day dreams of rich hair.
 "My love-" said Mrs. Bullfog tenderiy, you will disarange my curis."
 Oh, no, my sweet Laura l" replied l,