The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-07-09
CITAFF.
Give the devil his du-de.

found in lock OF hair.
Why is kiss like marrirgeH
Because it taken two to make one.
A Wise man will never shut his
eyes before he opens his mouth.
Why is a hairy man like his wife's
new outfit? Because he is hirsute.
Angels are never afflicted with gout
or rheumatism, although they do live
high.
People who spend the summer at.
the beach imagine that they have a
shore thing.
When mans mind is unsettled,
it is often ascertained that his bills are
in the same condition.
1t is not hard fora man TO mind |
his own business, but it is the mon
otony which he can't stand.
The President to-day appointed
Joseph A. Gillespie to be surveyor Of
customs at Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Soggy pie is mentioned as one of
the causes of dyspepsia. One Of the
causes of soggy pie is young married
women.
After Oct 1st the Pennsylvania
who wishes to get married must Sc
cure a license at the reasonable rate
of so cents.
Nine. Modjeska has gained Temporal
ry popularity in Dublin and lost it in
England by making political remarks
on the stage.
We have recently come to the con-
clusion that strawberry shortcake is
so called because it is frequently sho1t
of strawberries.
A mans lines have not fallen in
pleasant places when he cannot go off
fishing until he has put up the cloth
es lines for his wife.
Fogg says that his landlady's pie is
uot altogether bad. The only fault
that he can find is that the stuff, and
not the crust, is short.
The new Governor OF Rode Island
parts his hair in the middle. 1t would
not do to part the State that way the
pieces might get lost.
A Fourth Ward furnisher advertises
contagion for sale, singly or by the
dozen. He means the umbrella-be-
cause every body takes it.
Why does young man just starting
a beard resemble barber?
Answer-One is razor whisker
and the other is whisker raiser.
The dude is only one remove from
the donkey, but it is not the donkey's
fault Nor should it be blamed for its
Objectionable imitators.
"WAITING, ONLY WAITING" isthe inn
patient chirp Of the Democratic expec-
tants, and the dispairing wall of the
offensive partisan Republicans who ex-
pect to go.
They are talking about introducing
balloon travel at Coney Island. Good
gracious! We hope they don't. Tray
ellingi is about the only thing that isn't
high down there.
The Atlanta Constitution says that
:. the cotton area has been increased
this year not less than 100000 acres,
and the condition of the crop at this
midway point in the critical month is
the best in several years.
The revised version has it "All is
vanity and a strivingafter wind. ."There
must have been theatrical managers
sn those days as we'll as now, whose
greatest object in life is the newspaper
"puffs."
"Take what you please" says Eng
land to Russia; 1--WE made mistake" I"
We thought Afghanistan was Bulls
7 beef. We have since discovered that it
was bears take. The blunder is all
: owing to Sir Peter Lumsden.
/ at is to be all the fashion this sum-
mer foi young ladies to look as if a
: great sorrow were gnawing at their
: hearts, The young lady who discovers
: that her lover has gone to the Fourth
! of July picnic with another girl will be
right in the fashion, although she
s. may be unconscious of it.
When a man gets married he al
ways starts out with q stern determin
alton to be "boss." Twelve months
experience of martial happiness gen.
orally leaves him running hard race
I. with his mother-in-law for second
T. place and he is fortunate if he is MOI
distanced.
% Florence Marryet has new lecture
on what Shall We Do with thC
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