The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-02-27
VARIETIES.

Mrs. Ingalls, says that woman is silent
power in the land. That will be news to
thousands of husbands.
"A head properly constituted can accom-
modate itself to whatever pillows the vicissi-
tudes of fortune may place under it.
1t is more dsgraceful to mistrust ones
friends than 10 be deceived by them our mis-
trust iustifes the deceit of others.
II you throw piece of wrought iron at
a man it becomes cast iron. Manufacturers
ought to be able to utilize this idea in some
way.
For dinner, ma'am2 Nice quarter of
lamb, ma'am?" Mrs Turtledove IA bride of
two weeks: "Oh, but there are only two of
U.S. Don't you think an eighth would do as
we'll ?"
"A piece of sponge-cake made by Vassar
girl has been presented to President-elect
Cleveland. 1t is said that Mr.. Cleveland
prizes 1t highly and will use it as a paper
weight when he goes to the White House.
Late the other evening merchant was
playing cards with railroad official who
was rather sleepy at the time. 81 pass, said
the merchant. mo, you DON'T" said he,
mot on this line; you pay your fare or walk"
Extreme old age: Glow is your father
coming on?" asked Col. Yerger of darkey
he used to own before the war. ale am
dead" dead, is he? He must have reached
an advanced age" HE did dat, for fac;
he was libin' up to the berry day of OBJ his
def"
"A little boy and girl had been cautioned
never to take the nest egg when gathering
the eggs; but one evening the girl reached
| the nest first, seized an egg and started for
the house. Her brother followed, crying,
! "Mother mother! Susy's been and got the
| egg the old hen measures by"
The announcement that Queen Victoria
| is passionately fond of pancakes, coming as
| it does on the heels of the intelligence that
the Prince of Wales has presentiment that
he will never be King of England, explains
| the cause of the atter's superstition. If pam
cakes won't kill her majesty, what will?
"A man. Handsome or ugly; old or
young; rich or poor; preacher or layman;
| sparkling with jewels or wrapped up in
| patches and rags-only let him be man who
can do one single act that is purely unseltish.
| Where is he? Who knows him Reader, can
you fill the bill? Try yourself for week and
let us know.
| The kangaroo: $50 you went to the cir
Gus, Mary?" ooh! yes, and enjoyed myself
very much" "Did you see the kangaroo in
the menagerie ?" 81 did, and felt sorry for it.
Poor thing, it is dying; isn't it ?" why, no.
What put that into your head ?" "The way
it acted. When | saw it, it seemed TO be on
its last legs"
"A young man was received into good
society in Brooklyn lately upon his assertion
that he practiced at the bar in Chicago. A
young lady wrote to that effect to Chicago
and received a reply that the young man was
right. He practced at the bar, and that's all
he did do, and could never learn to draw beer
properly let alone MIXING drinks.
"A poetical mood: ooh, for lodge in
some vast wilderness" quoted Mr. Spatterby
the other day, while he was feeling in poet
ical mood. 81 should think you had lodges
enough" said Mrs. Splatterby. "You are out
four nights in week to lodges, and if you
had another in the wilderness don't suppose
you would be home at all, except to eat"
Several weeks since, little Genie, four
years old, while travelling in company with
his parents from their old home in Maine to
a new one in California, occupied at night
with his mother an upper berth in the sleep
ing car. Awaking once in the middle OF the
night his mother asked him if he knew
where he was "Tourse l do" he replied.
I'm in the top drawer"
-Unthinking farmers will sometimes place
a colt or young horse by the side of a horse of
more mature years, and expect it to do an equal
amount of work without injury. Such thing
is not only cruel but unwise. Many prom
ising horses have been ruined by such treat
ment. No young horse should be expected
to stand the work that horses which lave
been accustomed to hard usage are able to
undergo.
mo, zir, l gannod drust you for dat
bants" "Why not, Mr.. Grindstein?" "Pe-
cause you never will pay me-" 81 know, but
I've scheme by which you can make some
money" "Vot is dot?" "You know Gold
skeckel, your rival across the street ?"
Yes" well, if tell him you trusted me
for pair of pants, he'll trust me for coat
and vest. Don't you see, coat and vest are
worth five times as much as pair of pants
You'll lose only 81, while he is losing $40"
well, on dose conditions you can have der
Dants"