The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-11-12


Everybody In Galveston knows Tom
Finlay and his big bay trotting horse
Sam. Finlay is jolly sort OF man
who always makes the best OF every
thing. He never allows himself TO b.
come discouraged under any circum-
stances whatever. In fact. when he
meets with any reverse Il seems to have
stimulating effect upon him
Not long since he was walking down
the Strand, the business street of Gal
weston, when he met his friend Jim
Barnes. / may mention incidentally
that both Finlay and Barnes were cot
ton brokers and members of the Cotton
Exchange.
Il say, Barnes, don't you want to buy
my horse Sam? I'll let you have him
cheap"
why do you want to sell him?"
I'm the first place, / need money.
I've just got to have it. In the second
place, Sam is not quite fast enough to
suit me-"
II do want horse for my family
carriage. Is he gentle?"
@He is the gentlest horse you ever
saw. You can't make him run away.
There's nothing frisky about him."
Does he kick?"
"If he kicks I'll give you your money
back. Why, you can't make that horse
kick"
How about shying?"
IF he ever SHES with you, just come
round and I'll give you $500"
Don't he shy when the locomotive
passes him?'
mot an inch. I'd as soon expect to
see the locomotive fly off the track"
will he stand without tying?"
He don't require any tying what
ever"
Il guess he's one of those horses that
eat their heads off in about O month. /
expect he holds as much corn as corn
crib, and it will about bankrupt man
to feed him. That's the way it is with
all these housekeeping horses"
Nothing OF the kind. No horse can
eat less corn than SAM"
How much do you want for the
animal?"
"I'll take 5000. If 1 didn't have to
get rid of him money couldn't buy
him."
AS this price was very reasonable,
Barnes said:
I'LL go to the stable with you and
look at him, and if he comes up to what
you say about him I'll take him."
IF he doesn't come up to what I've
claimed for him, Ill net expect you to
buy him."
Together they went to the livery
stable, and the first thing they saw In
he 90 III II L., L..
ground, stark and stiff. He had died
during the night of collie, as his owner
was well aware.
"Now, Barnes" said Finlay, @here is
your horse If he does not come up to
what I've claimed for him, it is no SALE
/ think you will admit that he is about
as gentle as ever horse gets to be. A
child can hold him in, and if he ever
SHES again I'll eat him. He does not
need tying. He will not cost you much
for horse-feed. No horse can eat much
less than this noble animal"
We'll, this is the worst sell that I
have experienced during the course of
my whole shall insist on put
ting up the wine, but you just keep
quiet about it. i don't want to be the
only real big fool in Galveston. I'll
sell that horse again."
As they were walking away from the
stable, whom should they meet but
Colonel Wade.
We'll, gentlemen, where are you
going?" he asked.
"I've just been to inspect my new
purchase. I've bought Finlay's fine
bay horse Sam. 1 bought him to ac-
commodate Finlay, here. You can
have him if you want him, said Barnes.
"How much do you want for him"
@Two hundred dollars"
Wade thought that Barnes really
needed the money, otherwise he would
not sell the horse so cheap, but bust
ness is business. If Barnes had been
specializing in cotton futures and lost
it was no affair of his. He said: IF
the horse is gentle and don't eat too
much may take him for $175, provided
he will go in a wagon without kick
ing"
Once more the procession formed
and moved toward the livery-stable.
When they got there four negroes were
busy putting Sam into wagon to re-
move him outside the city limits.
"There," said Barnes, triumphantly,
Il knew he would go in wagon with
out kicking. If you think he Will kick
tickle him with straw"
Gentlemen" said the last purchaser
of Sam, "there is only one thing more
to be done, and that is to keep quiet
about this swindle, that it does not get
into the papers. "-Ater. Stceet, in
Chicago Times.
They Are All Chestnuts.
There is nothing new under the sun.