The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-05
TWAIN'S VISITOR.
A consumptivs Man Who Could Not
 Stand . Gig ar.

Stand . Gig ar.
 A Washington correspondent of a Philadelphia paper tells how Mark Twain. when be acted aa the national capital correspondent of a California pa- per. used to occupy small dingy room, and how he used to smoke villAinous pipe and murderous tobacco to rid him. self ot unpleasant visitors. This was assuredly an excellent idea for man who could stand 1t, but 1t cruelty sacsi- feed men who, with the kindes, of intan- tons, called to see the quaint writer who was beginning to mako a reputation.
 One day. while the humorist was busily at work oa sketch which is now known In foreign languages. a tall, cal. low-faced mau, with a miserable exp,es- sion of fcountenance and deep, eonsump. tive cough. entered the room, aud with. out an invitation, sat dowa. in those days Mark" could not we'll affect that independence which jas.i6e. the election of a caller, so, turning to the visitor. Mir. Clemens said
 "WelI."
 The visitor said "Well."
 "Wha, can do for youH" asked the humorist
 "Well, nothin' in particular. 1 heard 'en say that you are the man that writes funny things. and as have several hours to loaf round before the nain leaves, | thought would come around and git you to make me laugh 6 little. l ain't had good laugh io many c day and didn's know but wha, you mout accom- modase me-"
 "TwAin " scowled at the man, who, thinking that the humoris, was pteseat- ,ng him with specimen sf fAeiAl fun, be. gan to utter.
 rha.'il do fuH rate, eAp'n. bat I'd rusher heah you talk. can make mouth at a man abou, as easy as any teller you ever saw, an wat want Is . fe~ words from you .hatiI j,ls me like . wsgin had backed Agin me-
 "My riend, am very busy to o.dAy and ~-"
 "Yes, know all that. am busy my. sei' ex ept that I've go. about two hours to loaf an' as 1 said jest now. I'd like fos you to gi. oG thing tha. can saks home. Wy, can go arouad an gi, the drinks on It for . week." "won't you have . cigar ?" the hu. msrist asked, to learn whether os not the man was . smoker.
 "No, never could stasd seegyah." :"
 "T~aia" smiled. and, takisg up his pipe filled 1t wish tobacco strong enough to h,as a skillet on iis fumes and be- gan to puG |" m keep him in here nov, the noksr mussd, until he l. ss slck as a dog. wouldn't eonsep, to bis dep art. use if he was to get down on his kns e asd pssy for dslivesance."
 ."Nothing |" does q man more goo thas q hearty iaugh," the visitor said, cough ing ss cloud Of smoke suuouaded his head "WAh, hoo. w4h, hoo Don't you think it is . leesie close in hsre1"
 "oh. Do," rspiled Mark" !" arising and slyly locking the door.
 "i Ike little irssh ar, specially when ihaY's 90 much smoke h roem ,
 "Oh. there's air enough hsss. How did you leave all the foiks7"
 "Well, Csss, ny yeaages.--~ah, hoo, yah, hoo -ain't as pssss as he msus be, but all the others air stirrin'. You ain't 1 gos no chDlun, 1 reckon ?"
 ~N.," the humoha replied ss he viz. l orosslv pufsd his pipe.
 Well, I'm sorry fur you. Thar sis's | noshin' that adds to mans paehui sn- joym<nt like chilius. That boy Cabs what 1 vas taikis' sbous jsss so~, ", woulda's give him sp iar the 6asss yoke of sssen yoa ever sssn."
 "You wosidstT
 " No, sis, vosids't tech 'sm wish . isn Ieos pols--voald rsfass 'em piss blask Podsss, des' you-~sh, hoo, wsh, hoo --<hiak h's gissis' . lissls see eiess h hsss so~7"
 .No, sos bit, jua hghs."
 sWsll dont kasw tAs ssyis is shis plAca. bss I'l tzy ss' pst sp witA its
 snark " shewsd - pisy. Ths visitss, 1, sAw . ssmsses aiescs, cssf1ssd.i il s WA0 ! isA hsne, Ast-lAaks ayI u