The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-07-10
VOL. XXX----NO. '28.
VARIETIES.

-"Have you," asked the Judge of a recent.
ly convicted man, anything TO offer the
court before sentence is passed ?" "No, your
Honor" replied the prisoner, my lawyer
took my last cent"
-"Something happened to me Yesterday
that will never happen TO me again if live
to be thousand years old" remarked Gill
hooly to Gus De Smith.
whats that ?"
81 was forty years old
-Doctor-"Your wife is in very critical
state, and | should recommend you 10 call I'm
| some specialist to consult on the case" Hus-
band-"There, you see, doctor, was right
again told my wife long ago she ought
to get proper medical advice, but she thought
you might get offended"
"A halter sees one ofhis debtors pass him
by i'll the street without any recognition of
his existence and straightwey becomes as
mad as-as halter. Course the fellow !" he
says, he might, when | bowed TO him, have
at least had the decency to lift my hat"
oh, mamma such a nice young man
has been making love to me at the pic mic to.
day He is just as handsome as he can be,
and graduate of II musical college, too"
what musical college, child?" why, let
me see-he told me- Oh yes Sing Sing"
W JOu nave Ill your
asked Mrs. Gmlet of her husband as he
brought home a roll of manuscript "Brains,
madam" replied, Mr. Gimlet pompously.
Are you surprised at that fact?" mot in
the least" she replied, 81 knew you didn't
carry them in your head"
"A railway pointsman, caught mapping Mt
his post and convicted of wilful negligence,
said to the jailer who was about TO lock him
up, u always supposed that the safety of
railway depended on the soundness of its
sleepers." so it does" retorted the taller,
but such seepers are never safe unless they
are bolted in"
I've oeen reading summary of moru.
airy statistics for the past half year, and this
thing bothers me. 1t seems that the death
rate is very much greater among the young
than among the adults. Now, why should it
be that so many die young?" We'll" an.
swered McGlue, in an off hand way, II guess
1t Is because more are born young"
"A school teacher, who is simultaneously
an lrishman, has been very much ANNOYED
by the absentees. He crealeda slight fiutter
OF excitement among the elder pupils by say
ing in a very impressive manner: "Children,
want yez 20 understand that from now on
the aoseenlays must sit on the front binch,
so that can know right of who they are
and apply the corrective"
A friend who had been appointed to
Judgeship in one of the Colonies was long
afterwards describing to Sir George Rose the
agonles he had suffered from sea sickness On
the voyage out. Sir George listened with
much interest to the recital of his friends
sutferings, and then sad in tone of deep
commlseration, Its great mercy you did
not throw up your appointment"
-"Pray nv lord " oueried n peptlap,on nf
judge, what is the difference between com
mon law and equity?" Every little In the
end responded his lordshp; "at common
law you are done for at once; in equity YOU
are not so easily disposed Of The former is
bullet which is instantaneously and charm
ingly effective; the latter an anglers hook,
which plays with the victim before it kills
him. Common law is prussic acid equity is
laudanum"