The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1885-07-10
PURPORTS TO BE FUNNY.
A Little Nonsense Now and Then - nei-
ished by the Wisest Men,

| tshed by The Wisest Me"'
| Oh song so strange, so weird and sad
hear you ever singing
| Its best Of good Is worst OF bad,
In all Its ding. dong dinging.
| From rosy dawn to set OF sun,
hear you screech and roar, and,
| miss the tune the words are 'ohs',, rr
| And; two-and three-and four-ana' - Il !
| Burdette.
| In the Spring.
The country school teacher had been telling
| her scholars about the seasons ana tacii Pecu-
| liarties, and, to impress their youthiul Hlinds
with the facts, she questioned them on .lc points
| she had given. She had asked severai CUES
| lions, and finally reached the bad boy In the
| corner.
"Well, Johnny" she said, shave you been
paying attention I"
"Yesum," he answered promptly.
"I'm glad to hear 1t, Johnny: NOW can you
| tell me what there Is in the SPRING
"Yesum, kin, but don't want to-.
"Oh, yes, you do. Don't be AFRAID. You
have heard the other scholars. BE good boy
now, and tell US what there is In the spring.
"Wy-wy-mum, there's frog, an lizard
an dead cat in it, but didn't put en- there.
1t was George Winters, fur seen him do it,"
Merchant Traveller.
SEEKING A FORTUNE.
"My dear" said father to his daughter,
chow long ago was it that George Jackson went
west to seek his fortune 7"
"Just year." the girl replied with blush.
"Was there anything between you and
George sometimes thought that ne was fond
of you" -, laid bor fooo ~
the old mans shoulder. II promised George
when he went away that would walt Tor him
for years il necessary"
Il have letter from him.
"Oh papa!' she exclaimed. "Does heel
has he-oh, tell me, what does he say
HE wants twenty dollars to get nome WITH
IN Sun.
SUCCESSFUL SCHEME.
"For while after YVES married my Gunner
used to be from five to ten minutes lale, SAID
an experienced husband, "but | soon RENE died
the matter"
"iIov did you accomplishit" asked another
husband anxousy. 'Tm having the same
trouble"
"Easy enough. When my wife would come
in and saw. I'm sorry, dear, but dinner is late
tonight, would reply, good u nave tllhs
to step around the corner and get drink.
Try that plan; its good one
HE LIKED IT;
aOh. George. I'm ashamed OF you rubbing
vour Inns like that after that dear little girl has
given Won 80 sweet a kiss !" "Im not rubbing
Il off, nurse, I'm rubbing it in Life
Strange to say, lacquer work keeps many
people busy in Japan boston Bulletin
He came in silently and remarked: care
Won warm :" eyes," was the reply. u might
have known" he continued, "you lukewarm.
For particulars of his death see news columns
Providence Star.
"Ladies and gentlemen" said an Irish man
acer to an audience of three. AS lhere Is no.
| body here I'll dismiss you all. The perform
| ance of this night will not be performed, bu'
| will be repeated tomorrow evening.
81 like the mild spring air" said Deacon Gill
pin, as he sat down on Squire McGills porcl
| floor the other morning for friendly cnat
GLOW fresh every thing seems. DO you know
| of ANYTHING fresher than the gentle spring
| ZEPHYR No, don't know as | does" re-
piled the squire, ''unless it is that ere pain
you're setting in. 'Tsint been on the floor oyel
| two hours" al
An insurance agent applied to woman II
| Austin, says Siftings, to induce her to get he
husbands life insured. "Will be sure to ge
| the money if he dies right off" Certainly
madam But will you give me any assurance
| that be will die right off? :" "No, madam w
cannot do that" %Weli, then, what good vii
it be to me to get his, life insured II he doesn'
| die? knew there was some catch about TIL
| insurance business
An exchange says "Call girl chick, an'
she smiles; call woman hen, and she howis
| Call a young woman witch, and she is pleased
| call an old woman a witch, and she is indignant
Call girl kitten, and she rather likes it; cal
woman cat, and she'll hate you. Queel
| SEX II you call man gay dog, 1t Will flat
ter him. Call him pup, hound or cur, an!
be will proceed to demolish you he don
mind being called bull or bear, and yet a.
will object to being mentioned as Q cali on q
cub. Kinder queer, too Philadelphla oaii
The cackling Rooster, a fable by Lille Dey
ereux Blake: Ascackling rooster, who was
member Of congress, was approached one day
| by Growing hen, who asked Rim to vote for
| suffrage tsll whereat he refused Grossly, ant
went quickly away saying to himself: Every
one will laugh at me If appear publicly as TIT
friend of these females" But that same even
| ing the rooster went to ball and stood for two
hours holding a bouquet in one claw and {
lace shawl in the other, and, although he wa!
| old and feeble and bald he did not know tina
| he cut ridiculous figure. Moral-There ii
M fool like an old fool.