Mexico weekly ledger., 1885-08-06
Mr.. SampIanss Caller.

said MIR. Samplan, "when I awoke
and found a midnight intruder in my
bed chamber. I do hate to be awak.
ened from a sound sleep, and I had
always rather meet strangers by day.
light and take regular introduction.
'Well, this man-this very auda
cious man-had the impudence to
light my gas and point a pistol at
me. Yes, sir; and my gas bills are
outrageously high, and his pistol was
probably loaded. I do hate to see a
man so utterly needless of other
mems rights. 1t might have soften
ed the matter some had he been a
gentleman in his speech, but he
wasn't so-no, sir, he wasn't. As
opened my eyes and sat up in bed
he growled out in a voice like a sea-
lion.
"Be quiet, old man, or I'll bore
your brains with bullet!'
"Do you suppose I'd use a man
like that? Never! I'd have some
deceney about me, especially if my
victims wife was beside him. My
wife awoke, of course, and when the
burglar saw by her looks that she
was about to scream he turned the
pistol at her and said:
"'Come, now; but if you open
that potato-trap Of yours I'll pin
your head to the WALL!
''Think of such language from a
perfect strangerl Think of the in
suit to my wife's mouth! No one
will ever know how badly she felt.
She just fell back on the pillow and
cried. and the audacious burglar he
clicks the lock of his pistol two OF
three times to keep US scared, and
then remarks:
" Come, old coon, I want you!
Git up and pint out the valuables!'
"The brassiness of it! Wanted
me to help him rob my own house!
1 was so amused at his impudence
that got up. He sat down in a
chair near the door, pointed his
deadly weapon at my heart, and
orders me to go ahead and collect all
the money and jewelry and leave it
on the stand. Did you ever hear Of
the like: I wanted to argue the
case q bit, for Pm a man as dosen't
Like to be sent to State Prison for
robbing his own house, but he thun-
ders at me:
"'Lively now, old spindle-shanks,
or I'll make corpse of you"
81 assure you that was consider
ably perturbed. Look at these legs
large enough to bear up an OK. Had
he any right or reason to use the
term spindle-shanks? He was no gen.
tleman-no gentlemen, sir. I picked
up about 5000 in cash, two watches
and a lot of jewelry, and when I
turned them over to him he further
revealed his nature. Instead of
thanking me for the size of the con-
tribution he growled out: ':Durn
ye, for an old skinfint, but I'm a
good mind to bore ye!''
I'm no skinfint, as all my friends
will swear to, and I had given him
all we had in the house. After
growing for awhile, be orders me
back into bed, threatens us with
death if We move even a toe before
daylight, and then goes down stairs.
Here be eats up our pies and cakes,
breaks up all our plated silver, car
ries off the milk jug and butter dish,
and in going away leaves the doors
open for cats and mosquitoes and
to come in.
81 tell you what-such things go
lar to vex good citizen and make a
bad man OF him. I want to be
;reated like a gentleman, especially
n my own house. I don't like to
nave strange people enter my bed
.oom at midnight and brow-beat me.
No true gentleman will compare my
Fife's mouth to a potato-trap, and no
nan fit to appear in good society
will call me spindleshanks, old coon,
,tc., unless we had both been drink
ng and were having hilarious time.
feel perturbed, sir-very much per-
;urbed, and if the thing occurs again
shall certainly go to the police
Ibout it."
"What are your prospects?' asked
/ father of a young man who was
Iuing for the hand of his daughter.
We'll" replied the young man, "I