Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1885-03-27
MIKES SIGNS.
How an InteIIigent Irishman Posed as
Professor.

How an Intelligent Irishman Posed as .
Professor.
The writer heard the following story
few evenings since. TO him it was
very amusing, as well as q good Illus
tration Of the aptness of different minds
to misconstrue the same facts in quite
opposite directions.
Some time ago learned Frenchman
became very enthusiastic on the subject
of universal language for the human
race. After much thought and theo-
rizing on the subject he came to the
conclusion that the only language that
could be universal at the present day
must be language of signs. Being
deeply impressed with the Importance
of this language to humanity, he deter
mined to travel from country to country
and teach it in all their colleges and
universities.
AS it happened, the first country he
reached in his travels was Ireland, and
the first institution he went to was the
University at Dublin.
He called upon the President of the
University, and after some conyersa-
ti0n with him asked him if he had a
professor of signs in his University.
Now there was no professor of signs in
the University, but the President, not
wishing to be behind the learned
Frenchman, told him that they had one,
The President was asked to be intro
duced to him. The President was taken
aback at this, but told him that he
could not see the Professor that day,
but if he would call the next day at the
same hour he would introduce him.
After the Frenchman had gone the
President called his professors together
and told them the fix he was in, and
told them that one of them must play
the part of professor of signs next day.
They all demurred and objected to this.
being afraid that they might be caught
by the Frenehman.
As none of them were willing to play
the part, they at last decided TO train
Mike, the choreman, for it. Mike had
lost an eye, and was very sensitive
about it, thinking that people We're
constantly noticing it and making alln-
sions to it.
Mike was consulted, and consented
to play the part. providing that the
Frenchman should not refer to his de-
feet.
The next day the President and pro-
fessors dressed Mike up in good suit
of clothes, took him to recitation
room, seated him alone on the plat
form, and then retired, for the French.
man was to see him alone. Before
they left him they told him what to do
and that he must not sneak
He replied: Sure | il not, if he ses
nothin' about me oye
At the appointed time the Frenchmar
called, and was ushered into the .'reci
tation-room of the Professor of Signs.
The President and professors waited il
an adjoining room anxiously for the re
suit In Short time the Frenchmar
came back to them, apparently mucl
pleased.
"How did you like our Professor o
Signs?" inquired the President.
VERY much indeed. / congratulate.
you on your able Professor. | am NOR,
than ever convinced that the language
of signs is to be the universal language
When / went into the room ! held III
one finger, meaning there is one God
He understood me at once, and held III
two fingers, meaning Father and Son
then held up three fingers, meaning
there are three persons in the Trinity
He replied by doubling up his hand
meaning: And these three are one.
then withdrew. 1t is wonderful. / an
delighted. =
After the Frenchman had gone. th,
President and professors sent in haste
for Mike, for though they were
pleased at having gotten out of the
dilemma, they were very anxious Il
hear Mikes account of the inter
view Mike came in, very angry. =
totlld yez he would say something
about me oye. The first thing he dit
, was till hould up wan finger, m amin
had but wan eye.
What did you do then. Nj KEEP
asked the President
Sure held up me two fingers. til
let him know had two fists; an phat
does the durty blaekguard do bu'
hould up three fingers, m an n we hat
but three Dyes betwane Us. Thin
doubled up me fist. and would a GU,
the frog attn yarmint a welt over hi
oye. but he COMMUNIST a-smilin' an a
bowin' an a-scrapin', an wint out j,
the room. "-HarDer's MaoGgine.