The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-03-14
A KISS IN MISTAKE.

gentleman 0f very close SaOisS, was alarmed one bright, sunshiny morning by the venerable old gentleman, whose voice was heard in all parts of the house at the same time. He had run from the garden, crying:
 "Martin Martin Where is that precious rascal, Martin r'
 Martin was bustling, active servant in the family, remarkable for his polite and agreeable manners which quite atoned for the ugliness oi his vision-not actual ugliness, but ugliness occasioned by black patch over one of his eyes and another across his nose. The family of MT. Barby consisted of himself and ward, young lady of I9 to whom he had been left guardian by an old friend and school-fellow.
 He did not like the idea of being set as a watchdog over the inclinations of a young girl, but respect for his friends memory would not admit of his refusing to take upon himself the charge.
 Seeing the host of suitors addressing her and being unable to separate the wheat fro T. the chaff, he resolved upon discountenancing them all by expressing his determination that Millie Winters should not marry at all.
 "She shall have no husband at all," he cried. Better be without a husband, Millie, than have bad one"
 The wary old man accordingly chose for Millie's maid a remarkably curious looking, humpbacked old woman, think ing she would be true to his interests.
 But, MT. Barby was mistaken, for Julie was remarkably fond of money--a L5 note would throw her into state of de- lirium, during which she continued ob- livious of all that might be going on around her.
 Martin responded not to his masters summons. But still the old gentleman cried:
 The precious villain Oh, that my family should be thus insulted and dis graced. saw him press his lips to my wards cheek, and the sound of the kiss still sounds in my earsp'
 At this moment Martin appeared and mildly asked:
 Did you call, sir2 p
 Whereupon the enraged old gentleman rushed upon him and cried
 Bounds, you scoundrel what do you mean by kissing my ward?"
 "l, sir P exclaimed Martin, with a sur prised and innocent look.
 "Villain! my own eyes have not de- ceived me. saw you not ten minutes ago steal behind Miss Millie and and"
 "Sir, sir p exclaimed Martin, writhing in Barby's grasp. C It is impossible"
 And thus saying, he struck his hand upon his forehead. As a sudden thought occurred to him he continued:
 "Sir, thought strikes me which may justify your suspicious. There IS some strange mystery in this"
 "Mysteryl" quoth the old gentleman, in an enraged voice. "l think there is."
 "I confess, sir" said Martin, with a tone and look of shame, that did steal into the garden just now and take a chaste salute; but on my honor, sir, believed the person to be Miss Winters maid, the worthy Julie, to whom have the honor of paying my addresses"
 "Villain '! repeated the old man, stamping his foot, but Martin interrupted him.
 You know what bad sight have, sir" he said. "Oae eye entirely gone and the other very treacherous, as it is now proven to be, seeing that mistook the mistress for the maid, and have thus insulted lady and offended a worthy gentleman, whom my inclination and duty have ever prompted me to regard with profound respect and venera, ion"
 MT. BarbY was compelled to admit that, owing to the defective sight of Martin, it was possible for such a mis- take to have occurred, and the precious villain was called careless fellow.
 Wishing perfectly to retrieve his char acter, he explained to his master that he and Julie were to be married-that he had obtained Miss Winters consent, and that he was thinking of asking Mir. Barby that very morning.
 The old gentleman expressed his sur prise that spruce little dandy like Mar tin should wish to unite himself with the old humpbacked Julie; but Martin clasped his hands and with rapture de- clared her the woman of his choice and paragon of womankind, and Mir. Barby, not wishing to wound the honest fellows feelings contented himself with saying
 "Well there's no accounting for tastes"
 In the course of the day MT. Barby ac- cidently met Julie in the garden.
 We'll, Juhe ]" he exclaimed wish you joy in the new situation you are go- ing into"
 La, sir" said Julie :; ain't going into no new situation"
 Why, yes, you are; you are going to be married"
 "Married, sir!" echoed Julie, in aston ishment. "l a-going to be married La, sir, wish was"
 "Whats the use, old woman, of your standing there counterfeiIing such sur prise know all about it."
 "All about it!' squealed Julie, unable to comprehend her masters meaning. All about it, sir ?"
 "Yes, to be sure all about your billing and cooing: Why, how you lookl He
 "He P cried Julie. "Who ?"
 "Why, Martin, to be sure."
 "Ohl l" exclaimed Julie, and hung down her head, after affecting to blush.
 "What fool the old woman is l" said Rarhv lf vO,, u,ava a xyo,ur rs.l sh ~~~