Weston weekly leader. [volume] (Weston, Umatilla County, Or.) 1878-189?, 1885-09-25
PEN AND SCISSORS.

Teacher: "Deine snoring" Small !
boy: Letting eff sleep
1t is hard to tell at what age man
loses his faith in circus bills.
Don't forget that Reese & Redman
are located at Adams, and do q ''boss"
business.
What is the difference between a pa.
per dollar and dollar OF silver. Never
mined.
When the Germans heisted their flag
at Yap, they did net suppose the Span
iards would yawp.
An organist, who advertised for vo-
calists for Il church choir, headed his
advertisement; "Good chants for the
right parties"
Steinaker t. Co. keep the Buckingham
s. Hecht's boots and shoes.
The day of the green apples over,
| The banana peels joke is most done,
The ice man and ice cream discover
They're left and the oysters begun.
Easiest way to mark table linen
Leave baby and some black-currant
jam alone at the table for three minutes.
Porter lin hotel. to parting guest)--
Please, sir, remember the porter Guest
oh, so | shall; It was even worse than
the beer.
Steinaker & Co. have the largest and
best assortment of wall paper IN Weston.
Why is the Puritan like meat bone,
did you ask? Oh, that is easy enough
1t takes the edge off the cutter.
A member of the Bible Revision Com
mittee received a touching plea against
the changing of verse in Proverbs
(which" said the writer, twas Away
great comfort to my two husbands
, both deceased.
! A foreign doctor has discovered
, form of micrococci in mumps. So,
y If you don't want the mumps,
Keel away from the pumps.
For bargins in glassware an
crockery go to oReese&Redman's Adams
The masher soon will home return
>, = From mountain and from shore;
And to his friends he will relate
His conquests by the score.
And he will call on some Of them,
If seasoned he is not,
And then, to his surprise, will find
. That him they have forgot.
9 Reese s. Redman, Adams, are pay
j ing the highest market Rates for whea
y 81 have noticed" said a batliin!
/. house clerk to a reporter of seasid
paper, that there is one article never r
ported in the list of things missed an
stolen-and that's false teeth. VIII,
we have tive or three dozen sets of art
fetal teeth in this office now"
Steinater & Co. make speciality
gents clothing and furnishing good
!. For Eobby suit call On them.
A. Dio Lewis has been heard of on
again, after lapse of FIVE years. H
now announces that he cannot and W
not believe in shoulder. braces. TT
effect e. this declaration Oh the count
just at this time cannot be very disa
trous.
n. Blll-heads, letter. heads, nste-head
etc., printed and put up in tablets
ei the LEADER Office at Portland prices.
80 Prof. Riley is authority for the stat
y; ment that grassheppers disappear wi
the advance of civilization. This a
pears to constitute the distinctive d
ference between grasshoppers and mt
he quitoes and office-seekers.
OF On the new postal card, instead
'e. the head of the Goddess of Liberty
or the vignette in the corner appears
ia, engraving of Jefferson's head. Histo
'e, repeats itself. Under a Democra
de Administration Liberty is bounc
at every time.
Ic. The LEADER office does all kinds
6 job work in frst-class style at Portla
prices.
He mourns the happy days of youth,
-, Now gone forever hence,
,a1 When he could sit and whittle sticks
M Upon picket fence
of But now, alas. he cannot thus
IN. His leisure hours employ,
by For fate, in shape of wire with barbs,
re Hath rendered null that joy. ~
The best quality of envelopes 9frai.
ed and printed at LEADER office for
per box of $50.
The observant person who does t
III rhyme for the Tccas Siftings has Il
on to say: 'Some malignant slanderer n
states that ''a woman needs no eulo,
o' for she speaks for herself"
he Georgetown has married off nearly
.es Of her school ma a'ams ard will impor
lbs fresh lot from the East for the n,
'rk term of school, only cue of the form
be teachers remaining.
"a "a His sleep was broken, and he tos
W.. W.. and tumbled and muttered semeth
iiS about 1.-TWO of kind" and small pal
"Poor john" murmured his wife, :
: is tired, and is dreaming of our d