Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1885-04-25
STRAY BITS OF HUMOk
FOUND ~ THE tOI.rnNs OF otR
EAGnt>tsE~.
All Broken tp-kindnr.- In tho xtrrus
A Cautious I.oycr VERY Bu~s -~ame-
body saying ~omc,hip9. EIe.. ttr-
ALL BROKEN Up.

Wen, got on afSrelShI traln aFh
rode up to Uubhleson's siding, forty
three mild that night, 10 see my girl"
said western young man IN conver-
sation with Bnrdette. Il allowed to visit
with her folks all that night and
Sunday, an come home on the passen-
ger Monday mornin'. She lives six
mild from the station, an tramped out
to the house in all that blizzard, ami got
there long bout leven O'Clock Saturday
night An I'll be teetotally COW kicked
by bulirush If there was livln' soul to
home OLD folks, t seems, had gone
away to Lincoln to stay over Sunday,
my girl had went down to Grier's Island
to stay week, the hired man had taken
the only horse left on the place an gone
down to dance on Beaselys branch,
eleven mild away, an there | was, lett
over Sunday where didn't know a soul.
Went to Deacon Numbers au' told him
who my father was, an he kept me.
Deacon's stone blind and has the
asthma SO bad he can't talk his wifes
so deef she cap't hear it thunder. they
have no children am don't keep no help.
an don't cook \apSthing Sundays. l
went to church three times that day and
went to two funerals the deacon goes to
bed at eight o'clock and SO / shlvcred
on a straw bed under a cotton quilt in
north room for thirteen hours. Now
| think OF all that when a feiler'd been ex-e
pectin turkey dinner, singln' Hold
the Fort, by melodeon all afternoon
an huggin' the prettiest girl in all New
brasky from sundown TIL one o'clock in
the mornin', an tell me ef l amt got
more right to feel broke up than any
man this side o. the kingdom? Say mo-
an I'll slam you on top o the head With
this overshoe i
COMPLIMENT n DOUBT.
Dear friend Clara cooking at Bellies
photograph )-"What a lovely picture J
Bele-"Do you really think 1t looks
like me y
Dear friend Cara-"Oh. no, dear; not
q particle. - Boston transcript.
HOW THE DOCTORS CURED nII.
Two doctors were disputirg by the
bedside OF County Clerk keenan, during
his recent illness.
Il tell you the liver is diseased, said
one
Nonsense; nothing Of the kind. 1t
is the spleen" said the other.
Very well; We shall see vino is in The
| irh NJ
Hearing which kecuan became real
mad and got up and dressed himself
He began to improve from that time
and hasn't known sick day since.
COULD BE SEEN AT A ,sr.ASCF.
Jones-Some fellows have 10 more
4 spnnk about them than baby.
Smith-Why DO you think SO?
J.-Saw a conpie going along the
road in a sleigh short time ago. He
| was driving with both hands aud hbe
was sitting fully foot apart from him.
Sim Married couple, | guess.
BostDu (OHricr
TWAS ThaDT IN TENSE.
"Horatlus," said the scnoolmastcr to
q nine year-oli boy with two imposing
freckles on his nose and two equally im.
posing frccklcs on the knees of his
pants, "Horatius please form sen
tence with the V ord toward III it. and
write the sentence on the board.
Horatllls wen. 10 the blackboard, and
after much scratching Of head and fnc
ton of brain printed with the cray on, il
letters that looked like a lot of half
fea.hered Shanghai chickens running
after piece OF dough, the following sen
tence:
Il toward n.y trousers. - LsWistD,
! JrstrnoL
THE MERITS ~ THE CASE
''What are the relative merits IN th'
c.lae?' asked the attorney y: a yount
man who hal >o,.gh. MS a4v:e@ II re!a
3. tien to L divorce
"Ec.ative merits reiterated til.
youog man, sIo was apparently dazzle
al tie rer1arx
fcs, scpi!e,l tLe attorney
Well, the relative n4c1;s - the cas4
= Ali exa=pe-a,esi spu-ia-la1 a4! the de
merits j. I4esIIAay 14D1IrE-in-.aw. -
Fret-ets GT.>Lk3
= GOOD AID BAD ctrIEs
: Bad CIT. for til. .lckei-Caan-
I Cool city ior the empty-PhIl.
! Good city for the Indiaa-Lo-Ee.l.
: Bad city for rnan with iaise teeth
Il Gnashville
Good city for laundry Washington
: Goo. city for tie. wea.'sy-Rica
& ...D4.d.
q Good ;o~1 tor : sea capt4..--Ss!elr
- Bal city t1- Las.c.a1--S * S.ns
IL .ror.-,aa.. l.. L.