Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-16
BRIGHT BITS.


CIGAR ASHES will stop heartburn, hut what
the cigar y itself will do depends upon
how many You get for nickel. Detroit Free
Press.
MODEST REQUEST: Lover 'psssionately)
My sweet! NV darling! love you with
all my heartl Be mne!" Fair maiden go
"Oh, George, this IA sudden; / mist have
time" LOver-"No. mo- | must have an
answer now Tor I have my eye on another
girl The Rtw5ler.
YoUNG wIFE-"Tcll me, dearest isn't this
milk rich and nicep Young Husbaud-''Y es.
HOW did you manager Young wife fenthus-
lasticallyl-''l engaged a new milk m-n who
guarantees MS milk. and have bought
enough to last us week ."-Bostoh Bcoc0H.
GEN. WAsHIEGToN went fishing at least
once. And on that occasion he caught trout
! inches long. While down at the corner
grocery that evening, after returning from
his angling tour. he was asked how much the
trout weighed, when he uttered those memoir
able wOris. viz: Il cannot tell q lie. 1t
weighed IN pounds - NOrriStO9Bn Herald.
JOHN WESLEY CORBIE and Melancthon Nc
Snifter. two cowboys, we're sc ated IN an Aus
tin saloon. one of them reading a newspaper,
when he called ont, "HellO, both Of them in
dlctments agin your brother, 8GXter COrbin,
have been dismissed In the District Court of
Travis" "Well. Bax won't miss them in
dIctments. He has got four or We more agiR
him over in BastrOp county," was the re-
spouse OF John Wesley. TEXAS SJtinGs.
YOUNG WOMAN played "Home. Sweet
Home, with variations" until the variations
had damaged the piano fully S25 worth Then
she asked a gentleman whose wife is reported
to wear the trousers, ''if he was familiar with
the tuneY' cit seems 30 ne tuat Eve heard
sOmething like it before" he replied. what
do You call it?" Home, sweet home. with
variations" "Ob, yes. he said. 'Im familiar
with the variations. "-Drdke'S TrageILer's
Ad0dsjne.
He DISCOVERED A BARGAIN Jeweler: Il
Will let you have the diamond necklace, the
watch, and the bracelets for 81, madam; that
is the best l can do" Madam turning 30 go) (:
81 VIII speak to my husband about the matter
and let You know" COuutryman (eagerlyl:
- say, mister, I'll take them trnkets for SS
Here's your cash" Jeweler: Hardly, my
friend. That lady's daughter is To be married
10 morrow, aud she Only wants to rent them
for bridal presents."-Nel0 York Times.
"GENTLEMES are requested not 10 shoot
when an honorable member is in line with
the Augustus Z. Collins window" This
pathetic inscription was once to be found in
the place OF meeting Of a Western Lcgisla-
ture. Augustus PsCollins had periodically
presented the senate with valuable stained
glass window, aud IL was felt that il would
be unworthy of an economic State to get IT
broken by casual revolver shots. Legislators
could shoot each other or the Speaker lust as
! Wen without drawing a bead" on the
Augustus +. Collins Windows. James
Gasette.
TIE Turkey and the Grasshapper. A
Young and guileless Turkey was walking IN
the Field one day in search of something to
stay his Stomach, when Luck brought him a
fine, large Grasshopper. lie was about to
swallow the Insect, when the Hopper ex-
claimed: Hold on q Moment, my Friend
What's the use OF picking up 4 small Insect
like me when there's plenty Of Uaros in The
Weeds just aheadY' Chats SO, and how fool
ish Iwasw answered the Turkey as no let the
Hopper 20 and set out to find Hares At the
end of half an hour he leaned M against n
! barbed wire fence, kicked himself fourteen
times, and remarked: ia the first place |
couldn't catch a Hare. and in the second I
couldn't have eaten one il I had" Moral;
The Mechanic who runs after Politics VIII 20
hungry half his time Detroit Free Press