Mexico weekly ledger., 1885-11-12
JOKE on sAMIssouRI COLONEL.
Not cur Congressman .

Not eur Congressman.
The following from Washington
does not refer to our Colonel, for
we think in the first place he was not
there at the time, and in the second
place he would know a girl from q
boy no matter what kind of clothes
were worn.
WASHINGTON, D. c., Nov. 1.-The
Missourians have furnished q good
deal Of amusement in Washington
since the Inauguration. More than
once they have contributed at their
own expense the sport to make
Democratic administrations holiday.
Usually they laughed, too, while the
whole country laughed at them. But
here is something which brings the
bushes to the cheeks of the Mis-
sourians and no smile to their lips.
One Of the most prominent of them
has been guilty Of getting caught.
He is venerable, he has been o states
man, he has travelled abroad-all
without learning wisdom. He has
a room in one Of the principal hotels
Of the capital, and that room is kept
in order by smart chambermaid.
The Missourian and the maid estab-
lished speaking acquaintance, and
what does the guileless old gentle
man do but put on his most fatherly
manner, chuck Mary under the chin
and invite her to come in and chat
with him. The other evening the
artful hussy consented and set the
hour. Then she took the elevator
boy into her confidence, and later
she supplied him with the necessary
makeup for masquerade. The
hour came, and while q group Of gig
Cling chambermaids, from a safe dis
tance, watched the performance, the
boy in petticoats slipped into the
Colonefs apartment The deception
was not discovered until the Mis-
sourian had exhausted his stock of
endearing phrases, and then the bad
boy blurted out, "Oh, cheese it, you
old fool" and bolted. Trust the
help of hotel to spread such a
story. 1t reached the ears of the
landlord. He, in a very indignant
frame of mind, not only discharged
the boy, but kicked him into the
street. Smarting with the recollec-
tion Of his injuries, the boy went to
the police court and got out war
rant for assault, and the case is set
for hearing tomorrow.
The landlords wrath was only
partially appcased with the dismissal
of the boy. He held an investisa-
ton with closed doors and decided
that the smart chambernaid must go,
too. At this there was a meeting of
the female help. The housekeeper
took the side of the girl and threaten
ed to leave if she was discharged.
This caused a reconsideration. The
Missourian and the chambermaid are
still under the same roof, but not on
speaking terms Indeed, another
bed-maker has been assigned to that
floor.
There are contradictions in the
statements furnished. The hotel
iwatchman states very positively that
the trick was not carried out TO the
successful issue, as represented. He
claims to have detected the mas
querader in the hall on the way TO
the guests room, and to have nab
bed him and made him disrobe before
any damage was done. On the other
hand, Smith says he went into the
room, and that an old gentlemen put
his arm around him and kissed him
before the discovery that he was
net what he seemed. The warrant
which Smith swore out against Mr..
Staples is to the effect that the guest
in question had made advances to
one of the chamhermaids, and that
the latter loaned him clothing in
which to personate woman; that he
went to the room and Was received
by its occupant in an affectionate
sort of way, but soon became scared
at the novelty of his position and
made his escape as hurriedly as pos
sible. He was subsequently assault
ed by Mr.. Staples for playing such u
trick upon the guest. The CON-
plainant was on hand at court, but
as the warrant had not been returned
he could not testify. The newspa-
per men went away disappointed It
is the impression that the matter will
be fixed up and not allowed to come
to trial. Smith himself refuses TO tell
who the victim was. With rather too
much frankness, he declares he does
not want to say much about the case
until he sees whether the guest will
, come down with money TO prevent
exposure. The Nissourians gener-
/ ally are very reticent about the case.
1t is stated OH behalf of the victim
that he did nothing worse than to ask
, -he chambermaid to come 10 bin
, room AMI sew on a button or two
and that if she thought any wrong
WAS intended she misconstrued what
was said to her. In corroboration
of this version, the guest has actual
! ly shown some of the Missourian.
/ that his pants needed repairs. Ast
the kissing part Of the story. that i,
Indignantly secuted as blackmailins
invention.
Ha~A rIu.os