Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-02-28
An Essay on Buttrs.

Buttsris the mature fruit Of the full
blown cow. 1t is the greatest effort OF
her life. The cow tolls not, nyther does
she spin, yet say unto you that Solo
mon in all his glory could not success
fully beat her on handmade, or rather
milk.maid butter. This subtle joke l
have re-papered and newly upholstered
for use during the winter.
Butter comes from the COW in liquid
state. 1t is quite trick to win her con-
fidence so that she will yield it up to .
total stranger. l once sought to WOO the
tactical fluid from the, milk retort Of q
large speckled COW to whom / was a
comparative stranger. She wasn't one
ofthose blooded cows that look as though
they had been cut out of q sheet of pa
per with pair Of scissors. She was q
low COW, with coarse instincts, born in
obscurity.
Her brow was low, but she wore her tail
high and she was naughty, oh, 70 naughty
The young man who bad hitherto &C.
quired the milk from this COW desired
one evening to HE him away to . neigh
boring village, where he might trip the
light bombastic toe till the wee sma'
hours anent the tws.' Quotation from a
poet who was poor speller.) He want
ed me to milk his Iarpe,..speckled, pie
uian COW, and said ] would. The
movement was certainly i'll advised. l
undertook to do as had agreed, but
failed. From the moment entered her
stall and make commonplace remark
to her, l knew that our acquaintance
would not lead to a warm attachment.
Somehow felt constrained and uneasy
in her society from the moment We met
until loving friends pulled me out
through the stable window and brought
me back to Consciousness. shall never
undertake to milk strange Co v again
until the sign is right. So far the sign
has not been right.
might be sent on polar expedition
and get stranded on an iceberg with no
other alternative but to milk q COW or
eat an old friend, bat should hate to
tackle the COW unless the friend was a
very old friend indeed.
Butter Is produced bv expunging the
juice from rare and costly chemical
known as cream. Cream is the bead on
the milk. Milk is known as dry and ex.
ira dry. A good milkman will always
ask you whether you want your milk
wet or otherwise. = - p
An old well digger named Grady told
me about going over into Southern Indi.
ana at one time to dig well for a man
named Withum. Witbum was said to
be very close. He was the M st contig-
uous man in Indiana. His wife used
to skim the milk on one side, and then
turn it over and skim the bub-
bles off. 1t was a constant struggle be-
tween Withum and his vie to see which
would be the meaner p
The first day that Grady was there
they had round ball of butter about as
big as lemon and as hard as Pharaoh's
heart. The butter knife had a handle
that would turn every time any one
tried to get lick at the butter, and the
little round ball would flop over on the
other side and smile. Now and then a
hired man would reach over with his
own knife and make a slash at it, but
the butter, confident of its own strength,
would slip over with dull thud, and
the man would heave a sigh and give it
up. Then another farm hand would
make wild dash at it, but burst into
tears and quit. Finally Grady. who had
watched this performance several days,
jabDed his fork down through the mid
die of the chunk and successfully cut it
in two. In the centre was a small solid
wooden top, There" says Grady, "Pve
found out what the blamed thins is
wound on, anyhow" Bill Nye. -E.T