Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-04-30
4 WHO0PING EVANGELIST.
Gems from Brother Sam Jones, tho
Georgia Preacher Now Stirring Up
tennessee.
From The St. Louis Globe-Democrat

M
n We see God all around us. The
Mountains are GoS's thoughts up
n beaved. The rivers are Gods
n thoughts in motion. The oceans are
4 Gods thoughts embedded The dew
u dreps are Gods thoughts in pearls.
believe that the whale swallowed
Jonah. and the only reason l don't
believe that Jonah swallowed the
whale is because the Bible don't say
So
You don't believe what you don't
understand. Do you understand why
some COWS have horns and some are
muley3
You don't believe what you don't
\ see. Did you ever see your backbonel
The hardest thing for me to believe
are the Ten Commandments and the
1 Sermon on the Mount,
Custom is the law of fools, and is
running this country.
God pity the man who can't run his
home without deck of cards. He
ought to have been in hell long before
he had children born unto him.
used to dance, but when / wanted
q wife went to the prayer-meeting
ana | beat your sort too.
If any man don't like what l say,
let him come to me afterward and say
so, and IlI-forgive him.
You dance with this world and
You'll 90 to hell With the world.
have 80 respect for Mahone's poll
tics, but I like his answer to the
question how much he weighed. He
said II weigh ninety-fve pounds
but ninety pounds of that is back
bone"
Some men think they have back
bone, but it is nothing but cotton
string run up their backs.
There is more religion in laughing
than in crying. If religion consists
in crying, [ have the best boy in the
world.
photographed your own ugliness,
ought to be ashamed.
/ am a methodist, and want to be
the best one God ever made.
When St. Peter said add to your
knowledge temperance he didn't have
reference to you, old red-nosed metho-
dist. Any man who pretends to be a
Christian and drinks whisky is a great
big old humbug-a two-legged hypo~
critic
Society is heartless old wretch,
and il you don't get out of it you will
go to hell with it,
When the doctor says you can't live
but an hour you'll want just such
preacher as is talking to you.
God bores through the top of a
mans head to his heart, and on down
to his pocket.
The lawyer who knows as little
about Blackstone and the supreme
court reports as the average Christian
does about the Bible would never have
but one case. The sheriff would be
his next client.
If any of you don't like the way |
these services are going there are
three doors-J GU are cordially asked |
to leave.
When your little cups full you can
Just back out
Red liquor and Christianity won't
stay in the same hide.
In Georgia town number Of girls |
married men TO reform them, and now
the town is full Of little whippoorwIll |
widows.
How lovely is a patient woman.
God pity The man who has forked |
tongued wife.
The matter Of church doctrine is an
accident. If my mother and Brother
Witherspoon's mother had snapped |
babies, he might have been Methodist
preacher.
The devil is too much of a gentle !
man to stay where he is not vel
come.
The churches of Nashville furnish
whisky to the surrounding country. |
Some Of your wholesale liquor dealers
belong to the church
If Brother Barbee would draw the
line where The Lord wants him to
draw it there would not be a hundred
men lefl in the church.
The back door of the church ought
to be opened once a year and give all
Who nave not lived up to its rules an
opportunity 10 pass out.
Bob Ingersoll (and / never call his
name without feeling the need of
disidfectant says whisky is Gods
worst enemy and the devils best
friend. He is good authority on that
side
Whisky is a good thing in its place,
and that place is in hell. If get there
l will drink all can get, but won
do it here.
A New York prisoner tried to jump
out of a window seventy-fve feet