The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-11-05
RUMOR.


cause there are many cross-ties In it,
Texas Siftings.
A MAN does not like TO appear in pub
Lie in q stolen hat because it is not his
style.-Teras Siffissgs.
"THEN You think they live happily
together? Il know it," From what?'
aTheir breath. They both eat onions"
Chicago Ledger.
NEVER measure q mans intellect by
his size.-Vanity Fair. No; you gen.
orally want to measure q mans lack OF
intellect by his signs.-St Paul Her.
aid.
DIR. MARY WALKER claims that she
has refused more than a dozen offers
of marriage from men with good eye
sight This would seem 10 settle the
question that love is hopelessly blind.
Chicago Ledger.
Rev. Ma TALMAaE says people
can't go to heaven by STEAM" When
the water gets too low in the boiler,
and an explosion ensues, some persons
are pretty apt to 60 in the direction Of
heaven by steam. -NorrSstoUn Herald.
PRAY tell me the difference, DEAR.
Said Edward to his lass.
There is betw en- a store cashier
And the teacher OF q ciassl
The damsel, smiling. said i VIII:
This difference you VIII tnd:
tie store cashier. he minds tho TIL:
The teacher this the mind.
-EIchan0e.
NO DISCOUNT.
He held her hand. Said ne: ITO share
My life with you should be glad.
Said she: Il think could not spare
The time Said he: "You IN Ike me sad
Said she: III love you az q broth IT;
Not wholly blighted shall you pine"
Thanks; but" said he. somehow or other
never cared for that in mine
Rochester Union.
when bees swarm, cogently remarks
the Waterloo Observer man. Let q
couple land on your skin and begin to
dig an artesian well in you, and you
will have no difficulty in telling the ex-
act moment when bees warm.-St.
Paul Herald.
BOBBY Ito young Featherly. who is
making an evening call Will you
speak little-French for me before You
go, Mr.. Featherly? Featherly (smiling)
Certainly, Bobby, if You wish it. Bob
BY do. Ma says your French Is
very amusing. -Ne,o York Sum.
AN Anxious Inquirer" desires to
know if large number of mosquitoes
are healthy. We should say decidedly
so. From diagnosis of those we have
not been fortunate enough to make a
mash on, we conclude that the tenor
Of their voices indicate sound lungs,
and the voracity of their appetites
points to a good digestion. These two
are the best evidence in the world of
good health.-1erds Siftisags.
A MEDICAL writer says "a man should
never get out of bed hastily" 1t was not
necessary to include boys in this adj
vice. A boy never gets out of bed
hastily-unless he hears an alarm Of
fire. There are times. however, when
a man is obliged to get out of, bed
hastily On Sunday morning, for in
stance, when he hears the last church
bell ring, and has only half an hour to
dress and reach his pew. he is apt to
Jump out in hurry-provided he
didn't get up at daylight to go a-fish-
ing --NoTristolcn Herald.
THE FIsHERMAN's BAIT.
TIL is the bait the
fishermen tase,
the fishermen
take the fisher
men take Wnen
they start out the fish
to wake so early in the morn
ing. They take nip before they 60
a good one, ahl and long and slow. for fear
the chills would lay them low, so early in
the morn. Another when they're on the
street, which they repeat each time they
meet for "luck"-for that's the way to
greet "A fisher in the morn. And when
they're on the rivers bank again they
drink without a wink to fight ma
laria. all by the doctors warning.
They tip flask with true delight
when there's bite: IL fshings
light teey smile" the more till
jolly tight all fishing they
scorning. Another nip a. they
depart: one at the mart, one
uopart, but none when in the
house they DART expecting
there'l be mourning. Thisis
the bait the fishermen try
who fishes buy at prices
high. and tell each one
bigger lie of fishing so
early in the morning.