The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-05-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

They call cyclone "she, in the west.
The men know we'll enough to which
gender the greatest storms belong
.S1ttings.
"Rents are high this year," sadly
murmured the tramp as he borrowed a
pin with which to hold his coat tail to.
gether.-Pitsburg Chronicle.
You can't make the wife, who has
asked her husband for some money with.
out receiving a response, believe that
silence is golden.-Boston Post
The wise doctor who knows on which
side his bread is buttered is willing to
pay big rent for an Office next to a
skating rink.-FaU Rieer Adrance.
You may talk of the signs of the weather,
Of the coming days you may sing,
But sitting down on red-hOt stove
Is sign Of an early spring.
--Gorham Mountoineer.
A correspondent writes to ask us what
a holocaust is. The principal use of
this word is to make an item about the
burning of a stable read sorter high
toned.-SDtings.
The hot weather will greatly help the
man who earns his bread by the sweat of
his brow When it is hot he can sit
down and sweat without ever lifting a
hand.-Pcayune..
The new domestic says she has no OBJ
lection to going out to take the air, but
she kicks abominably if she is asked to
take the heir when she goes OUT
Boston Transcript.
Lugging twenty pound baby around
the room from midnight until the roost'
ers crow will crush out the divine afflatus
from the bosom of the most soulful poet.
-NeW York Journal.
1t is said that the bee can draw forty
times the weight of its own body, and
after you have seen bee lift hundred
and sixty pound man off his feet you
will believe it.-Boston Bulletin.
A tin cup containing number of old
| Spanish coins was recently dug up by
farmer in Baldwin county, Ga. This is
the kind of a cup that "cheers," if it
doesn't inebriate. e.-Norristoa0n Herald.
A lamb can distinguish its mothers
cry among hundred similar sounds. l.
is the same with a boy, but he seldom
| pays the same attention to it that he
| does when his father speaks.
Don't hurt the poor conductor,
For he is not to blame;
Although the train amt loaded,
1t goes Off all the same
Merchant Traveller.
Victor Hugo was very much affected,
| it is said, at a sonnet addressed to him
some time since by Lord Tennyson.
Some fcnd must have held him while
! another read the poem to him.-Norris.
| toWn Herald.
ooh, why should the spirit of mortal
| be proud?" There is no definite reason
| in the world for it unless it be that he
has Eumbugged his wife into thinking
| there isn't another man in the world like
him.-PittsJurg Telegraph.
A man reads book for entertainment
| and instruction. A woman skips all the
nuggets of wisdom and skins impatient.
| " through the volume to find out
| whether the dark skinned misanthrope
married the blue-eyed consumptive.-
| Chicago Ledger.
Ouida says that the love of girl
should not be begged, but conquered.
That's the way they do it in Africa The
swain gets behind tree, and when his
best girl comes along he clubs her and
carries her home on his shoulders.-De.
troit Free Press.
''Try to avoid debating with people,"
says Mr.. Spurgeon. The reverend is
correct. Nothing in this irritating old
| world will make the old man lose his
head so completely and get him SO howl
| ing mad as for you to keep perfectly
quiet just when you know he is getting
the better of you, and look at him with
an exasperating smile of conscious SUI
periority and pity. But you must look
out that he doesn't brain you with a
table leg Burdette.