Morning journal and courier., 1885-07-06
UNEMPLOYED.

'EFather," said the young man. shaking his head mourufnlly, 'had an iron will' ''You ought to know" replied his lawyer ''you forged it yourself. .'-Burdette.
 "Where will you spend the summer?" asked 8 Harlem man of a Brooklynite. Same old place" ''Where is that?' 'In hammock, back of my house. ''-New York Journal.
 Succotash was a new dish at Charlies house, but one that pleased him immensely. He passed his plate to his mamma, earnestly asking for "a little more of the sacred hash" Harper's Bazaar.
 ''There was countless millions of mosqui- toes down on the marsh today" said John ny. Johnny" said mamma. "don't exag gerate." ''1 don't zaggerate, ma; there was countless millions, for Jimmy Brown and me counted lem. ."-Boston Transcript.
 'tPa,' said Johnny Caution ''do lawyers wear a1mora" s'No; of course not. What put such an idea into your head?' ''Why, see in the papers every day that lawyers file their suits, and I-' The reader will appre- ciate the delicacy which impels us to change the conversation and not go out into the woodshed with the rest of the pa.ty.-Pitts- burg Chronicle.
 An exchange says that ''the first pure of day recently in New York; If these Italian counts who go around the country disguised members of the Handle Musical association are foisting an adulterated article of monkey on the American people, it is about time to cry "Halt!" There is too much adulteration in our food and amuse- ments. Herald.
 Mrs. Dusenberry-"They've got an invisi- ble choir at the - street church. It is a novel idea, don't you think?"
 MT. Dusenberry-''Yes. There may be more flirting, only the congregation will not be required to look on. But could suggest far more acceptable choir than an invisible one.'
 "What kind of a choir?"
 'tAn inaudible choir. Philadelphia Call.
 An old country gentleman, returning home rather late, discovered yokel, with Ian tern, under his kitchen window, who, when asked his business there, stated he had only come a-courting. Come what?" said the irate gentleman. 'A-courting. I'se courting Nary ''It's a lie! What dc you want the lantern for? I never used one when l was 8 ply; IT didn't think yer lad, judging by the missis.'
 The Detroit Free Press says that St. Louis judge has decided that Ca wife has the same legal and moral right to chew, smoke, play cards and sit on 8 cracker box in gro cery as her husband" Despite this decis- ion, however, very few cracker boxes in St. Louis groceries are occupied by married women smoking and chewing. When wo- man is accorded her rights by the strong arm of the law she is dreadfully slow to take ad- vantage of them.-Norristown Herald. Blow gently winds, across the praries' brow, Across the diminishing fields of springing grain, Breathe softly OCT the billowy emerald plain, Sigh tenderly. Great King! she's breathin' now! An old ripsnorter of Snorterville, With the big red barn from Smedley's hill; An a quarter section of cotton land, Just for ballast, you understand; An a two-hoSs team an a walnut tree, An smoke house mixed in grand melee, An big red COW, an yoke of steers, An lightnin' enough for hundred years; An whistle an Shr, elk. an thunder, an roar, A hundred mile minute or more; I'd give my farm to be mole Just while could dig cyclone hole -Burdette