Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-05-17
The Editor aud the Book Agents.

We can stand book agent, provided
he is of the masculine denomination.
We are not afraid of him. We know
that he is coming and can deal with
him without buying his book. He may
he pompous and courtly or he may be
pimpled and cadaverous; his lips may
be bestrewcd with honeyed batteries he
may be oily and crafty in his approach
es; he may modeslly ask for '.just q
moment of our precious time;" he may
say that he only Graves the use of our
name, or he may charge in upon US
and seek to carry us by storm. This
does not matter with us. He is man,
and so are we in a small way, and we
have our rights. We tell him what we
will and what we won't, and that ends
it.
But when she comes, then is the
winter of our discomfort. We bow to
the storm. and have no remarks to
submit. All the hidden resources of
our politeness are called into requisi-
ton. She is woman and has the ad-
vantage of us. She has seen better
days, and has tear in her eye. She
belongs to an old family, and swan in
luxury in her youth. Little cares she
for money; character is everything with
her. She is working in the interests of
literature and to lift up society. Her
book is for the inner circle, and is des-
tined to ennoble the character Of moth
ers, and in that way to add glory to
our republican institutions.
She came the other day. How glib
and rafting she was! She had us be-
fore we knew it. She had us sitting as
erect as sunbeam in July. and meek
ly nodding assent to her sage observa-
tions. We neither moved hand nor
foot. and, as for talking, we had no
chance. She talked fast, and she talk
cd long, and she talked all the time.
After regaling us with the grandeur OF
her ancestry, the pleasures Of her child
hood, and the surprising excellence of
her book, she touched US up. She did
1t handsomely. She expiated on the
potency Of our influence, the value of
our personal signature. and the we'll
known warmth and kindness of our
heart. Greatness, she limited, always
had tear on its cheek for the strug-
Cling and unfortunate. And there
we were-dumb and foolish, victim
to her spell. Time came and went,
but she went on, and on, and on. We
felt fatigucd and lonesome, and won
dered how it would end. Finally. she
gradually descended from her circum-
locutory flight, and lit in the region of
business. The atmosphere became
commercial, and it was a question of
dollars and cents. She had book for
sale and desired to sell us a copy. It
ceased to be question of ancestry.
and the poetry and praise all faded
away. The spell was broken. and all
we had to do was to say whether or
not we would take the book.
We did it as well as we could've
spoke in bright and respectful tone
we even thanked her for her visit-we
paid her tribute to her brilliant con-
versational gifts--wc wished her high
fortune and a golden future. and ex-
pressedregret that it had to be SO.
How her whole aspect changed! She
patted her foot with petulance, her
face flushed, she breathed wildly, and
swept nngrily away.
And yet truly we felt sorry for her.
1t hurt us to think OF her hard lot and
desperate devices to stem the tide OF
adverse fortune. We would have
bought her book. except that we could
not conscentiously pay an exorbitant
price for useless article. --Richm0nd
(pa.) Religious Herald.