Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-03-24
BRIGHT BITS.

APPRECIATIvE EMPLOYER: "Mr. Virgins,
/ have been very much pleased with your as-
siduity and attention to business during the
past year, and have determined to reward
your fidelity by making you my junior part
ner." HoTrifed EmplOye: Junior partner
me-no. sir! Don't do lt-just reduce my sal
AIRY and let it go at that."-PUck.
\ FRIEND OF Yale College thinks that it
would be a good idea for the faculty to hire a
Drivate detective to keep himself posted upon
the habits OF the pupils lie might first warn
the student detet ted in dissipation, and If his
warning had no effect inform the faculty.
This plan is carried out IN some European
colleges with good ehect.-Hartf0rd Times.
THE Yakima Sun is not a weekly or month
", but 1t VIII make its appearance whenever
the good people OF akma City see fit to puo-
fish il to indicate and defend their city and
property from the attacks of any and all per-
sons that are seeking by false representations
to crush them and render their homes and
property worthless Yakima ( w. r. SIN.
SEQ in there. FL Mahdi," sand the doctor,
who lived opposite the roller skating rink. as
he placed a 81 hill in his wallet which he had
just received from skater for dressing his
scalp.
al Mahdiw exclaimed the patient, "why
do Won call the bill Eel Mahdi?"
because it is the falls profit, YOU know"
replied the doctor, as he smiiDgly showed the
patient Out.-B0s5OR Courier.
SEARCHING for Art Treasures: Lady lin art
guarantee to be real old masters?' PrOprie-
tor-"We have a few, madam, that arc well
authenticated. What particular study or
subject would you prefer" Lady "a little I'M
declded)-"Well-er-a blt OF Adirondack
scenery, think or, if you haven't that, Ma
CARA Falls in winter will do."-Ingleside.
WASTED SYMPATHY.-P Pete Osterhout is
one of the most rascally negroes in Galveston.
He was caught stealing poultry, anu brought
nm before the Justice. 1.-The evidence said
the Judge, 'sshOws that you stole the chickens
from Col Jones' hem coop, and the fine
should be s., but III let you of this tune"
"Who wants ter be let oh?' exclaimed the
prisoner. 81 steals my chickens, and pays
my fine, and don't ask nufin oh nobody. Dis
heah mixing up sentiment and bizness am
what's ruinin' dc kentry. "-TeDas Sgtiags.
A SCOTCH MINISTER was once ordered ''beef
tea" by his physician. The next day the pa
tient complained that it made him sick.
"Why, minister" said the doctor, 'I'll try the
tea myself" So, putting some in a skillet, he
warmed it, tasted it, and told the minister it
was excellent Man" say ne minister '5t Us
should it be suppit? It's excellent, say,
minister" at may be guide that way, doctor;
but try it WI the cream and sugar, mon! Try
it wi that, and then see hoo We like it?'-Eo-
change.
SUBSCRIBER ITO editor of country daiy)-"I
notice you have cut down the size Of your
Editor-"Yes."
Subscriber-"And have reduced the prlceE'
Editor Yes"
Subscriber-"And are using patent inside
plates?"
Editor-"Yes."
Subscriber-"weu, what is the meaning of
all these changes?"
Editor-Enterprise, my boy, enterprise. We
are meeting with unprecedented success
San Francisco Ingleside.
You sent for me, madame''
ayes, doctor"
ain my professional capacity"
"Certainly."
''But-I frankly confess l am a little puz
zled. Your tongue is clean. your pulse beats
seventy hree times TO the minute, and your
complexion is fresh and blooming. Can you
not assist me little in the diagnosis? What
are the leading symptoms in your trouble"
IAN intense itching"
IAN -itching"
Yes, an itching to travel abroad for my
health. You will confer favor by locating
my disease for the summer in Switzerland,
with a running chance for winter in Rome"
Detroit EUeniR0 Journal.