Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-19
BRIGHT BITS.

PoUGHKEEPsIE CLERGYMAN says that his
hrst marriage fee was barrel Of fall pippn
apples. This man has the consolation, in his
bereavement that he is not the first groom
whose fall was dated from a tender of apples.
-YO1lkers Statesman.
81 WAS afraid that the new-rule that base
bail players should not receive more than
S2OOO s airy would have depressing effect"
remarked McSwilhgen. What effect have
you nOticedT asked Podsnap. "Why the
President Of Yale College has resigned? pr
Pttts6Ur2 Chronicle.
MISS BIRDIE-"Did you meet young Mr..
Du Bos St the picnic. Gussie?" Miss Gussie-
'Oh. yes. He wore my hat with the ribbons
tied under his chin, and famed himself in
such q prepOsterous way. He IS too comical
for anythlng. He's delightful comp'ny -
Miss Birdie-"Lovely."
MINISTER fashionable church wedding
~ m God hath joined together let no man
put asunder. Let us unite in PRAYER Bride
(kneellng, Whispering -"Remember, George,
we are to pass down the right aisle and do
try aud not be awkward. You mertify me
to death sometimes. '-Nea0 York Sun.
ARABELLA-Now do tell me. dear, why you
prose your engagement with Mr.. Golden.
Julia-Well, FOUND ne was too fond of draw
ing ana painting. Arabella-Why, | should
think that would Just suit you with your arts
TIC tastes Julia-But his taste ran to
drawing checks and painting the town.-HGr-
per''s Basar.
AAAhRE OOMES IN. homeopathic DOCTOR.
after short conversation, takes a little pow
der from jar nd says to the patient: Smell
that-nOw you're cured" Patient SAYS:
Doctor. how much do owe your" Doctor
says: Twenty dollars" Patient takes out a
$50 bill and says: 'Smell that-now you're
paid. "-NelO York Tribune.
METEOROLOGICAL ITEM.-The class in me-
teorOlOgy at the University OF Texas was m
for examination. Has the mean tempera-
ture increased or fallen off during the mast
three centures% asked the professor. Pro
lessor, cau't remember anything that hap
pened so far back. | only entered the uni
veisity last year ."-Teoas SiJttngs.
A LITTLE FOUR-YEAR-OLD GIRL was mt to
bed in the hird-story OF her home and left.
as usual, IN the dark. A terrific thunder
storm came up, and her MOTHER thinking
that the child would be frightened at the
lightning, went to her. On entering the child
called out with delight: Mamma, the wind
blew the sun up just now; did YOU see it?"
Fear had no entrance theTe.-Detr0dt Free
Press.
"THE SECOND REFORMED OYSTER SUPPER
for the Benefit Of the Church" is announced
in an exchange. From the adverse remarks
made concerning such suppers, we have long
thought there should be reform in that di-
reetiOn. A reformed oyster supper must be
one where the poor, fororn oyster is not of
modest, retiring disposition, but becomes
plural several times during the feast.-Nor-
riSt0ton Herald
He WILL SOON SMILE
When the wild and WINDY Wiuter
Blows its breath upon the pane,
And the cleaning glass doth glitter,
Then the plumber'll come again.
He will reeklessly, not gently,
Monkey with the water pipes,
And mis- bill will subsequently
Give your pocketbro0k the gripes.
-Neto York Journal.
The LONE OYSTER
No picnics now the BOYS attend,
To ice cream frOlics there's an end;
The soda fountains fizz no more;
And closed is the refrt shment store;
Church fairs begin to multiply.
When "Ch1llie" goes and has to buy
The oyster stew. and when IT'S done.
Instead of stew, he finds but one;
Ana shows TO all the dopbters round
The solitary prize he's fonnd
r-PtttS5ur0 Dfspatch.