The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-10-10
THE UMBRELLA,

The UMBRELLA.
MIR. Thompson Undergoes Wonder
full Observation-Disclosures 1t Only "A
Dream?
Mr.. Thompson was in meditatiye
and rather a reyengeful mood. He had
just purchased new silk umbrella with
a curiously carved ivory head, and the
young man who boarded in the house
hal whispered at the dinner table that
''the head on the umbrella looks lust
like Thompson.
Now Mr.. Thompson is not a hand
some man. nor does he Law claims to
beauty, but he hardly thought he looked
like the grotesque face carved on the
ivory umbrella handle. So he sat in
his easy-chair and stared at it very hard.
The umbrella stood in the corner and
stared back with its beady eyes until
Mr. Thompson was startled by seeing
it wink. He rubbed his eyes very hard.
and looked again, and to his surprise
the umbrella repeated the wink. Th,
time MIR. Thompson could not be mis-
taken; it was a wink of the most 40
gr0ssive character-an impudently IA
miliar wink. Mr. Thompson shuddered
in anticipation of something unpleas-
ant about to happen; he did not exactly
know what and he began to wonder
what it could be. The umbrella winked
again. This was more than Mr. Thomp-
son could stand.
Whom are you winking at?" he
exclaimed, angrily. You are too
familiar, sir-too familiar"
''Humph!' answered the umbrella,
contemptuously. "You needn't be
stuck up because you own me. That
young fellow said that we look like
brothers"
''He did, ch?" growled Mr.. Thomp-
son. 'Id like to break you over his
head.
Now, there you CO." said the UNI
brella- That is the disadvantage of
being an umbrella. You get loaned,
and lost and broken, and can't do a
thing to protect yourself. | wish | was
man." and the umbrella sighed
deeply.
Here was a new phase of the ques-
ton, and MIR. Thompson was inter
ested.
There are many disadvantages in
being man" he said, in an argument
ative tone. AS an umbrella you have
no bills to pay, no bores TO avoid, no
lmpudent young men to annoy YOU
You are carefully treated, and Your
mission in life is a beneficial one. How
many lovers you may shelter from the
rain! Your lot is one to be envcd. "
'Oh, yes; that is all very pretty in
theory: all your theories are pretty, "
groWled the umbrella. The trouble
is, they haven solid foundation of
fact. If you think it so delightful, per-
haps You would like to try it for awhile.
You wouldn' change for anything"
Yes, | would,7 exclaimed Mr..
Thompson, hastily.
dts a 90" shouted the umbrella.
Mr. Thompson recognized the phrase
as fayorjte slang expression of the
young man who boarded in the house,
but had no time 30 think of anything
more, for he suddenly found himself
standing in the corner, and to his dis
gust he saw the umbrella sitting in the
chair Mr., Thompson was compelled
to admit that there was q likeness, and
was about to remark to that effect.
when there was a knock on the door,
the umbrella said "Come in" and Miss
Angelina entered
"Oh, Mr.. Thompsonn' she exclaimed,
81 We got to run around TO Sixth av-
enua to get some tape, and it raining,
and it is getting 50 laten'
Mr. Thompson was about to answer
but the umbrella was ahead of him.
IF you will accept my protection"
1t sad, Il should be most happy, and
you see | have n new umbrella;' and
1t glanced maliciously toward poor
MI Thompson, who suddenly real
lied that on account of his
change of shape he was unable
to move without being carried Miss
Angelina ran out to get her bonnet and
waterproof, and the umbrella put on
Mr.. Thompson rubber coat and hat.
and taking Mr.. Thompson undcN his
arm, went to the front door to await
her coming. 1t was then that poor Mr..
Thompson realized the bitterness of be-
ing an umbrella
To shield Miss Angelina from the rain
was in Itself pleasure; but to be
obliged to listen to the chatter of the
odious umbrella which had taken his
shape, to see her leaning confdingly on
its arm, and to hear it saving pretty
things to her, was too much. But he
was powerless, and he got through the
shopping somehow.
On the way home it had stopped
raining, and the umbrella carried Mr.
Thompson under lis arm at an angle Of
about torty-iiyc degrees, in imminent