Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-02
BRIGHT BITS.

HoUsEKEEPER has discovered that Buff
falo sausage manufacturer puts a little meat
In the ends OF the cases and hils in the centre
with sSwdust. In this way the manufacturer
has for some time been making 'both ends
meat. "-E5chdRGe.
WHEN the gentle savages of Dakota find
time hanging heavy on their hands they re-
pair to the nearest town and tear down the
court house. They raise a good deal Of wheat
up in Dakota, but they raise a good deal
more sheol.-HanSaS CttV Times.
"MY SON." said fond father to his little
SOD, whom he had been Furnishing by the use
Of the rod for the first time; my son, | hope
this has taught you a lesson"
"H es pa" the little fellow sObbingly re-
piled; tits taught me that it's better to give
than TO receive"
Eyes, SIR" said pompOus Texas manu-
facturer, ~ consider myself benefactOr of
the human race. l feed two hundred people
In my factory
you o." replied a bystander. goodness!
and all the time l was under the impression
that they fed you. "-Te1ds SLftings.
"WHAT are you going to do when you grow
up if you don't know how to cvpher?" asked
an Austin school teacherof a rather Slow boy.
II am going TO be a school teacher. and make
the boys do all the cvDhering," was the i'm
pudent reply. The next thing that boy had
10 sigh for was a soft, cushion on the BENCH
Tecis SifttngS.
POETRY, waKed mOustaehe. mystery. long
UdiF ana q sweet tenor voice VIII often m axe
woman feel as il there was only Sheet Of
tissue paper between heaven and herself, but
1t is the man with the wart on his nose and
ak figures in his bank balance who SCOOPS
her IN and makes her happy ever aHterward.
-Fd1 Ri0er Ad0dncs.
IN China when bank suepends on the
ShackamaXon principle they Immediately
suspend the Cashier and fire the Directors
the former from tree. the latter from NOR
tar AGAINST a brick wall. The last bank sns-
n ii VI
year of the Emperor MinOf the Ting dynasty
(B. c. l724).-PhilddelDhi Record.
CoNJURER pointing to a large cabinet)-
"NOw, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to eN-
hi6it my concluding trick would ask any
lady In the company to stop on the stage and
stand in this cupboard. | win then close the
door. When | omen it again the lady will
have vanished without leaving a trace be-
hind" Gentleman lin the front seats, aside
to his wife)-'I say. old woman, do me
favor and step up!'-D0rf Barber.
WOMEN have many faults
Men have only two:
There Is nothing right they say,
And nothing right they do.
But if naughty men do nothing right
And never say what's true,
What precious fools we women are
To love them as we do.
-Susan B. anthony.
On, mouth divinely beautiful,
Celestial gateway OF the soul!
Methtnks that could gladly die
If once my lips m ght reach that goal
And, ah it makes me sad to think
That Ike the fabric Of a dream
The c. g. Of the s. shall fade
Before prOsaic cake and cream.
-Wd6hiaGtOR Rdtohet.
THE discussion of religion Is often conducted
with warmth. Years ago. John Rowland, the
barber. who was a violent Unitarian. got into
a controversy with one of his customers, who
was an EDscopaIan. Finally Mr.. Rowland
said: "WhO are yOu that knows 80 much more
than the rest of us?" "Who am I?' said his
aged opponent with hi- face covered with
soap lather. "Why, | am a humble. praying
Christian, you d-n heather you?"-Provi-
deace Telegram.
sigh To an Office newly made,
A hungry and thirsty stranger strayed,
He pecped through tho keyhole lingering long,
As he chantcd a strain from an old time song.
And the sad words fell from his lips 30 thin
81 want 10 get in! ! want to get inm
Close by the office fire there sat,
A we'll dressed citizen sleek and fat.
Soft was his chair as n throne might be,
But he mournfully played with the ONCE kew
And sobbed as he listened TO the strangers
shout
'Tnhave to get out! I'll have to get out!"
-Burdette.