Milford chronicle., 1885-04-24
POST-0FFICE COLLOClUIES
WHICH TAKE PLACE RYEB.Y nav
IN THE YEAR.
Sim Nash Tells How the Gre at Public
Bother the POstmaster's Clerk.
Won be- DetroiL 60 Prssa.l

from the Detroit Free Pr ess.I
The uninitiated seem to thir K that wa
clerks in country post-ofices have REQ.
ular picnics just about all the time. and
though you may be somewhat SURPRISED
at the frankness of the confession. I am
compelled to admit that in a certain
sense we have.
The mail has come, and I am awfullv
b,1sy. In comes Claude Jones. and
J planting himself in such a position that
no one else can get near the delivery
window he begins his ca,ntata by asking:
rs there any mail for Ira Jones ?"
''Is there any mail for Wilbert Jones %
"No. If there had been I sbould
have given 1t to you"
us there any mail for John Jones % |
mo. There is no mail for anv of the
Joneses."
rs there any mail for Lon Jones p
''No. There isn't, there hasn't been
and what's more, there isn't likely TO
be. He looks at me with blank sort
OF suspicious stare and then gives the
crank another turn with:
Jones ?" - N'''''''
seize him by the hair. There is an
unearthly yell, and an indiscrimiuate
mass OF boys legs, ears and groans is
plied up IN the snow-drift in front of the
store door. - VIC
just now there steps up a man. He ,
Is an older person than Oiaude and must !
De treated with more consideration He
FnDs ms hands, squirts hatful of fobac-
20 JUICE on the stove and leads off T
lnoN' What Is coming for I have zone
through the same series of questions
md answers with him two or three times
week ever since came into the post- 3
,fice. n
"There bain't no mail for me ?" ouite b
''NO, sir. n
what no letter2" IL
''No, SIR"
"Well, now, that's strange. I orter al
got letttT from my wOman's father. =
e writes reg'lar every two weeks "a
4 we hain't heard from him for niob
ITO a mORtil How dye account M
perhaps the old man is sick, " I ven. m mal,
re. me
"Sick Huh Unka Never sick a we we
y In his life. Nc, sir; it's some fault Az AZ
the post-office." Ola
Wen, I am sorFy, but there is nc tbi Gat
ter here for you" IN
''Hain't there no pos al card ?" 4
i.No, sir" Wit
swell, l was lookin' fo a postal card 1s.i W.!
M a seed house in z. P.hiladelphy. I 4'is
ote em letter three " eeks ago. and -, a
mink it's about time I heard some- III, ~
ng from it, shal
know there is just so much of it. so aa9 na9
1t him go right on. He bitches up 'iitt
trousers, aud, looking me full in the 4,,a a
|, touches OFF the fusilade az follows: tbet tbo
Did there any box come for me p" 'NaI a.,
No, sir" u
Well, it might be little package GaLll tsL
mt know just what shape it would sLN,i sne
le In. My woman's uncle down in liOi !,
south part of the State was COIN 20
end her some slips of house plants. n1ate aA.au
l was thinking that like enough So4ts liz
might be along in a week" i - ou
No, sir, there's nothing in at all, {" HetG t!T
s there any registered mail % t1,.a !,
No, sir" lhis ISL
Well, didn't expect any vet. but ~
Pete SimOns, down in Goshen has elOI ~ !
/ talkin' of sendin' me the money To ~
the taxes Oh that old back 40 on PilS
on 2, and I wanted to make sure 90
lat it wouldn't be returned to the II Ior 70
lty Treasurer, with the money here Iil' Snen'
y it. You're sure there amt no ;Iaa ;lnes
~" ~ iron
10, SIR"
Veil, I guess I'd better be eettin' Pro
:, for it will be llfred close to La,
time fore get home, n the old fered
IN Is powerful prompt hand about pains,
s.. dollars
-haps you thiak that the agony is famou
but ! don't. In comes Bert Davis. gions
lys: st. ia
there any mail for me?" him. j
o.. and he
a e;ii y, 'iioH' no Says Is there any AV
N he laughs, and haw haws. and ios+ ttstou ~
les, and doubles himself up with and and IN I'M
nent. He thinks he has pro- i,,o- i,,,S ~ y.
ed the funniest joke of the season. S t;43s SiO =
makes the 365th time he has done - StIias fos y
- thing in the last year, and al meDt. aO+
IN ,,orFo,, sHe s",le slao snow o. non Tss:yn abb
get sick Of this sort of thing. Of oil +,o
re at him very hard, and say in ojt,- M NJ
:, north latitude sort of voice NO
you say anything to me, sir 2" WHEN