Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-03-05
BILL 4RP'S LETTER.

! know that want an office, but | don't like
to see them gobbled up in such hurry. |
will write to Mr. Cleveland TO set aside
about half dozen good, fat ones for me to
take choice of when | make up my mind.
was ruminating over two or three that would
pay pretty well, and let me stay home most
of the time; but there are dozen or more
fellers after them, and what worries me Is,
they want my help to get them. | get Il
letter most every day from some suffering
Democrat who has been working for the
party for years and years, and is just obliged
to have an Office. | can't 90 10 town but
what some fcller wants me to sign petition.
| don, know how many times have sigr ed
for different men for the same office, for
like all the boys, and want them all to have
II chance. so sign every one they put at
me- | reckon Mr. Cleveland will under
stand it, wish there was a good, fat office
for everybody who wants one, for there are
lots of clever fellers in this country that
work don't agree with. Their constitutions
need an easy, sedcntary life. where they can
set around, and smoke and talk, and enter
tain their friends, and take on flesh and
accumulate some ON bang pong, as the
French call it.
admire a good, tat otlice-hoder. IfMrs.
Arp and conclude that must have an Of
fee. want one of the kind they call sine
cure or a sine qua nan or Il sine die or some
thing sacH An Office with large pay and
little to do-one that can be filled by proxy
where can draw the salary, and have
cheap feller to do all the work II would
be a splendid thing for Mrs. Arp and the
children TO have about 500 coming in ev
cry month. | think | would like that.
What harmonizeng effect it would have
on domestic affairs. The money comes from
the treasury, and it seems like it don't cost
anybody anything. Public money is easy
TO spend. if a man steals a little it don't
seem near 50 bad a. to steal from his nabor.
Ny father used to tell us about old Major
Dade. who rode 800 miles on his gray mare
to get an Office from John Tyler. lie was
friend and nab0r to Tyer's father in Wes-
tern Virginia, and had got old and poor,
and so he hitched his mare to the White
house fence and went in and told him his
business. Now, John, said he, "me and
the old man talked it all over, and he told
me to tell you to fix me all right. | want
an office with good pay and nothing to do
Nv old oman what used to give you ginger
cakes is dead and gone, and had about as
leave be here in Washington q anywhere"
Looking out of the window he said " ! see
the old mare has got loose and you had bet
ter step out and hitch her again, John, I'm
powerful tired right now.
so Mr.. Tyler thought over all the vacant
Offices, and finally made the old Major a
warden of the district penitentiary, and he
made the convicts little speech when he
took charge, and told them all about old
nan Tyler and John, and how many miles
he had come for an easy place, and he
wound up by saying that if they all be-
haved and put him to no trouble it would
be all right all round. but if they got TO
cutting up he would turn the last one Of
them out of there and let them shift for
themselves.
But they say that Mr.. Cleveland means
1
sinecures. The Democracy can save half
the expenses if they want to. They can
abolish about half the Offices, and cut down
the pay of the other half to living sum.
Our Judges get only $4,000, and it takes
800 of that to pay travelling expenses.
But the postmaster at Rome gets $1,000,
and don't have to travel at all. ! can find
a dozen good men who would be glad to
take it at 81 800 a year. know men in
the Revenue department who get $50 a
month. who don't have but little to do.
There are millions upon millions that can
be saved They say that there is a surplus
OF $4,000. 900 in the treasury now notwiil-
standing all the stealage and all the extfay-
agance Now if we keep up the present
tariff and cut down expenses 30 per cent,
! want to know what we will do with all
the money that will flow like stream of
gold into the treasury. That is what both
ers me. If we keep on protecting with
high tariff, what will reform do with the
money? Well, | reckon we can divide it
out among the States. and take the State tax
Oft of the people. | want the Democracy 10
think about that If they want to do some
thing that will perpetuate their power, let
them reduce the tax in that way. Why
they could divide out that $4,000, 900 next
year, and Georgia would get about a mil
lion of it, and it would pay all our taxes
and leave big surplus to educate the poor.
Well. I'm sorry for M Cleveland right
now. for he Is going to have an awful time
in picking out the best men. They say it
killed old General Taylor. 1t just wore
him out: and ! reckon it killed General
Harrison, too. am glad that Mr.. Cleye-
lond has got no family. am glad that he
has already had some experience in the
business. am glad he Is kind and not
vindctive, for don't want him to do like
Gen. Jackson and turn everybody out.