Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-02-07
LEONE LOCAL CHAT.

WHEREAS, deplorable late events
i1ave removed the Junior Editor hence;
WHEREAS, he is said to have taken away
Inc brains which THE HERALD
lacks to-day.
lTho' no one would be more surprised
than he. "a
so extensive and wild an assertion to see)
Therefore, ResotUed
That we, TIE HERALD correspondents
have met,
To express our sincere and earnest re.
And, Resolped,-
That to all Of these who have thus been
bereft
We will aim to supply the vacuum left:
WHEREAS, IT'S SO seldom an Editor $ fate
To be censured for lack of billingsgate !:
Therefore, ResolUed,-
That we tender to the editor for this de.
fecti
Our sympathy, Thanks, and earnest re-
spect.
If Diogenes could have walked over
the pavements of Martinsburg any even
ming last week, he would have untitled his
lantern to better purpose than searching
for that lost anomaly, 80 an honest man. ?
Dark Pit was unadulterated African.
passed friend on King St., and called
out to her at venture but couldn't be
sure that it was some one / knew, until
we had peered into each others faces at
very close range. Moral-Don t imagine
everybody you pass on dark evening is
talking love because they stand in sug-
gestive nearneSs.
It's shame that we cannot have the
gas lit on cloudy, moonless nights, if
only for from till 10, when pedestrians
need it most. live in hopes that some
time instead of merely stumping my
toes, and running my walking boots,
shall be SO fortunate as to twist an ankle
awry ON some of the crossings, I could
then use my influence" for light, by SUI
ing the Corporation. If there is no con-
science in this wish, neither is there any
soul in the afore mentioned ponderous
machine.
Speaking of Corporations, where have
the city fathers hid the stringent market
ordinance ? The city commissary depart
ment looks like deserted summer re-
sort, tho there are still a few who cling
to it, presumably Paul Dombeys, listening
to hear what the wild waves of life
around Martinsburg are saying, with the
chances for the most guileless interpreta-
ton of them largely in Little Paul's y
favor.
Mr.. j. Sheaffer, who has charge of the
machinery at the Water Works, is one of
the most courteous and obliging gentle
man about the city. The majority of
visitors who do Martinsburg the honor
of g taking in y the water works, have
ideas of Machinery about as vague as is
the average reader s notions of the war
in Egypt; yet Mr.. Sheaffer, if he does
weary of explaining the principle and
mechanism of it all, does not allow his
visitors to even suspect that such is the
case. The main room is abloom with
plants, and these with the polished,
shining machinery, singing its merry
song, make up such an atmosphere as
that one is 10th to leave.
On THE SICK LlsT.-Mrs. Gerhafdt,
Professor Gerhardt's wife, has been i'll,
but is beginning to improve and look her
bright, CHEEKY self again.
Mrs Ida Hollis, wife of the newly
fiedged deputy sheriff, is beginning to
recover slowly from long protracted
and severe illness.
Ben, "a handsome and bright little
boy in the household of Rev. R. D. Roll
er. has been sick.
Mrs. Lizzie Kearns, of West King St..
has been i'll.
PERSONAL PoINTs.-Mrs. Flick and
daughter . Rena," went up to Parkers-
burg ON Thursday to visit Mr.. Flick
They return to-day, Saturday, and will
see that Mr.. Flick is brought back safely
to NJ. with them.
The friends of Lewis Gerhardt will be
interested in knowing that notwithstand-
ing the extraordinary attractions about
Gettysburg, Lewis expects to return to
Martinsburg with whole heart and a
solid sheepskin, and if he does not
capture 8 the prize essay, it vii not be
his fault.
Mr.. A. Snodgrass commends The Rink
as panacea for Rheumatism.
Some of the girls say that Ben. Pitzer
is one of the best of = the boys" about
town, and that Dave Nc. is one of the
most popular.
Mrs. Emmert, who has been visiting in
BALTIC. and Washington, has returned
home.
Joined hands at the M. E. parsonage,
on Thursday night, by Rev. A. S. Hank,
Mrs. Emma Tabler and Mr.. Brady, both
of Martinsburg.
Mrs. Fannie Westall has gone to Eli
Gle, James Bell, who died few days ago.
Messrs. Tebo & Stevens have the