The Florida agriculturist., 1885-02-11
February IL.
VARIETIES.


ing to his mother. "There. there. huh
by" she said, after she had ascertained
that the injury was trifling, "you are
TOO big boy to cry over a little thing
like that HB-But what a-am to do.
mammal" he asked, sobbingly; 81 amt
b-big enough to s-swear."
The mills of the gods-"And who is
the man whom you are to bless with
your hand and heart, my dear?" ''Oh,
his name is Arthur Mills "And how
90 you Ike hlm?' "Oh, he's just the
loveliest OF men-a heaven-sent prize.
He's tritie slow, though" ''Oh. well.
never mind that. You know the mills
OF the gods grind slowly. ."-Boston
Times.
Girl in blue-"There's young Mr..
Duderson over there; don't you think
he is just splendid?' Girl in red
That pan of mush Why, he took me
buggy-riding last week and tried to kiss
me-" EWell?" "Well, he put his arm
around me and-and of course, | told
him just to behave himself" "Well?"
We'll, he behaved himself" Both
"Ugh!"
eve don't sell liquors." said law
evading grocer. 'fWe will give you a
glass, and then if you want biscuit
We'll sell it to you for ten cents" The
good creature" was handed down a
stiff glass and swallowed it, and the
grocer handed his customer biscuit.
WELL no, think not,'' said the Gus
toner, Fyou sell 'em too dear. 1 can
get lots of 'em, five for a cent, else
where"
"You can come in now,' said the
family physician to the head of the
house on the west side, says a Boston
paper. ''What are the returns ?'
"Three-two girls and one boy" l
don't want any rs business in this"
Don't be foolish, man." 81 tell you 1
shall suspect fraud until there is an
official canvass" Then he apologized
to the doctor, saying that he had been so
engrossed in politics that he had for
gotten where he was.
Produce dealer-"Ah! glad to see you
Mr.. Blank. Can | serve you with a
turkey for Sunday?" Mr.. Blank (cold-
ly),-"No, l thank YOU" ''But you
remember l furnished your turkey last
Sunday" eyes, l remember" SIT
was satisfactory, 1 hope?' Eyes, the
superintendent says it is very satisfac-
tory" 1.-The superintendent? eyes,
the Fast Line Railroad Company" 81
4 don't understand. Oh! perhaps
you made him a present of it, ''No;
| sold it to him for car'spring.
"Ah," said the barnyard rooster, gaz-
ing admiringly upon bran new brood
OF young chicks, "whose work is this ?''
Then the setting hen turned her head
modestly and said 81 cannot tell lie
sir; did it with my little hatchet. :
N'Eggsactly so" replied the rooster, ''it
is well done; hope nothing will occur
to hen-der you from raising the whole
brood" Il do not fear," said the hen,
''they are very hearty; you perceive
that each one takes a peck at every
mouthful." f
A man brought home some rat poison
one evening. His mother-in-law mistook
it for something else and ate quantity
of it. They had terrible time that
night, but the old lady's life was saved.
st was close call, " said the doctor the
next morning; "she ate enough OF it to
kill dozen persons, but fortunately the
poison had been in stock a long time and
most of it's strength had evaporated." :"
Some months afterward the son-in-law
was asked if Messrs. Poultice & Co. were
reliable druggists to deal with. "Iwould
not recommend them," he said; they
swindled me once on some rat poison"
In Sweden young girls place under
three separate cups ring, a coin and a
piece of black ribbon. If the ring is
first accidentally exposed she will be
married within year; it the money,
she will get rich husband; if the rib
bon, she will die an old maid. 1t is a
favorite amusement among the young
girls in Russia to conceal their finger
rings in small heaps of corn on the floor.
A hen is brought in which at once begins
to peck at the tiny heaps of grain. The
owner of the ring first exposed to view
will, according to popular belief, be mar
ried before her companions in the eXper-
ment.
A very pretty story of the domestic life
of the artist Gainsborough is related by
Fulcher. He says: "Soon angry, he
[Gainsboroughl was soon appeased, and
if he was the first to offend he was the
first to atone. When he spoke GROSSLY
to his wife, remarkably sweet tempered
woman, he would write note of repent
ance, sign it with the name of his favor
ite dog "Fox," and address it to his
Margaert's pet spaniel "Tristram." Fox
would take the note in his mouth and
duly deliver it to Tristram. Margaret
would then awnser; My own dear Fox,
you are always loving and good, and /
am naughty little female to ever worry
you, as often do; so we will kiss and
say no more about it. Your own affec-
tionate iris"
CONSUMPTION CURED.
An old physician, retired from practice, hav-