The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-03-19

A lawyer sent to the Penitentlary from
Noble County, And many people will
sigh, and say Noble County,
A marriage in the Vincennes, Indiana
Jail, last week, is another veriication o1
the old saying that "love laughs at lock
smiths"
Wolseley announces that he will be il
no hurry about pushing the Mahdi. But
that will depend on which is in front
when the thing starts.
From the condition of business all ovel
the country, it would seem that the De
mocracy begun right where they left off
twenty-four years ago.
"a large number of persons out of EN-
ploymen" is the word which comes from
Cincinnati. How many of them have
been out for the last ten years, and DOM
want any, is not told.
The authorities at Washington would
think that the office-seekers are like the
leaves of the forest-were it not that the
office-seekers, though green, never withel
and die.
Jack English, Tennessee engineer
got $500 damages for being hurt while
running backwards" II he was toe
contrary to turn around in his cab, he
ought not to have anything. III
J. G. Hudgens, member of the Arkan
sas Legislature, was arrested last week
for arson. He was probably a fire-eater
and his burning words caused a confia'
grafton.
1t is said that at Miss Cleveland's first
Reception at the White House, the visit
ors filed in at door, and out at win
dow. Her brother, meantime, was pitch.
ing politicians out at the back door. as it
were.
Give us a Democratic, politician for a
hog. Most. Legislative bodies content
themselves on little harmless grabs, but
the Ohio Legislature has stolen the whole
city of Columbus, politically speaking.
Ex-President Hayes thinks that Cleve-
land will follow the civil service idea
Doubtless The civil service under Hayes
started out with putting Rebel General
in the Cabinet. Thus far, Cleveland has
followed the idea.
Xavier Miller, a Springfield doggery-
keeper, died from, lock-jaw, brought on
by being stuck by thorn. That the
thorn has entered the flesh of the doggery-
keeper is enough to make every good cit
izen unlock his jaw and shout "hallelu,
jahr'
A woman at Fostoria, Ohio, dropped
dead with clothes-pin in her mouth
Yet the warning will be unheeded. Girls
will continue to fill their mouths plumb
full of wax, and see their mothers carry
ing clothes-pins in their mouths, and
hanging out clothes, just as though there
was no danger of both choking to death
-
Who shall say that the Rink does not
learn child anything? A Portsmouth
Street man remarked, at dinner, one day
last week: "Well, the Rink was running
last night" "Oh no." replied boy at the
table, "the Rink was not running-but
the Roller Skates werer'
The Commercial Gazette says jeff
Hays, of Georgia, pulled s27 stumps from
IS acres, and suggests that here is a
chance for pun. Possibly. That field
must have presented Il dental appearance
when Jeff got through removing the
sstumps" from the "achers," and it was
doubtless fun to see him sit on the fence
and, "laughing-gas" of his exploit.
BEGUN Too LATE.-Some years ago a
citizen of this place had horse which
carried around set of ribs that present.
ed prominent evidence that the animal s
dinner had been away from home too oft
en-. when he called for it. and frequently
had not gotten back at supper time. The
man finally struck streak of good for
tune, and concluded to fatten the old
horse up. Going to the mill he purchased
a large quantity of feed, and dosed the
animal literally with it, giving him all
he would swallow. The partial fast OF
the past years had thrown the inward
horse somewhat out of balance. and he
could not stand prosperity. The man
was on his way home one day and met an
old neighbor.
"Well, said he. "my horse is dead"
3, flo Tow. i'll, 4
"Fou7adered him !''
"The trouble was" replied the friend
"you did not begin to founder him soon
enough-if you had begun it years ago
he could haze stood it,"
The Portsmouth Tribune, in it's remi-
niscences of the Portsmouth Bar, recalls
this anecdote in the experience of our old
friend A. J. Dever: While Jack was
keeping the Isham House here, Porter
DuHadway had a case before a country
Justice, and persuaded Jack to accompa-
ny him. On the way out, Porter-as was
his habit-became quite talkative. and
told Jack all the weak points in the case
admitting that there was nothing in the
case. whatever. When they arrived the
other side had no counsel, and Jack vol
unteered his services and beat Porter.
They tell manv anecdotes about Mr.
Dever as he has a way of his own. and is
as warm-hearted a friend, and excellent
neighbor, as any man could wish. The
late George w. Johnson used to laugh
over little joke he had upon Dever. The
latter, although possessing a fair educa
tion, and being well posted. conld never
break himself of using the word sax" fol
"ask." He and johnson were away from
home, and George told him that a man
of his standing in life should speak more
properly. "Now," said George, "you spell
the word ASK after me-"
A,"-"a" -"s'- '-"s'-"k"- k"-"k"-"ask"-
aG"
why" said George, "can't you say
ask?"
"Oh, yes" said Mr.. Dever,"I can say a1
jiSt rs we'll as ANYBODY"