The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-05-28
THE MERRY SIDE I


'sWho is there to mourn for Logan now?'' None
He don't need it.
The Roller Skating craze in the cities seems to hav
been superseded by dog-shows.
1t is all nonsense for poets to sing of the pleasure
of Hope,' to the politician who is waiting for al
Office.
An Illinois preacher STYLES Roller-Skatng "goins
to h ell wheels" He will perhaps try to keep up
foot.
The Canadian troops have captured Riel, the leade
of the rebellion in the Northwest, but they dom
know what to do with him.
80
The Republicans in the Illinois Legislature left tn,
Democrats holding the Senatorial SACK but the snipt
was republican, and they didn't "cotch imp
80
1t seems to us that Nature badly balanced, after
all, when a dog is permitted to howl in the street
when there is not brickbat within twenty yards.
The editor of paper at Bloomington, Illinois, ha.
undertaken fast for forty days. Some people cal
him crank, but we think it is necessity.
slight revision addition should be made OF
the fy-leaves of the Bibles send to the Heather
This should be in the nature of description of Sun
The young lady who went into raptures over hel
own graceful watzng, went to the menagerie and saw
elephants, horses and monkeys dancing fully well
+.+
The Gallipolis Bulletin says All Tong the Chinese
laundryman of that place will have to leave because
the boys annoy him so much. Pity but he could ge
his Tongs few of them and shut off their wind.
~
'I have' said the hundred day man, boasting of hi
military exploits "a piece of JEFF. Davis private
writing desk" But he didn't capture 1.-THE stole II
from a sutler.
1t is noticeable in patent medicine advertisement.
that whereas it used take but bottle effect
cure, it takes from half dozen to a dozen.
as
Jackson has ordinance prohibiting hogs from
running in the streets. A few mornings ago
ticed large hog contentedly roofing front tht
Mayors Office. That is the way laws enforced
*x+
Should the Republicans go into the campaign will
a nomination which required a defensive campaign
within the party, there will be decidedly offensive
result.
"Chad' Johnston, of Coshocton, Ohio, wanted tt
find out how long he could walk on the bottom of tht
canal-basin by carrying big rock, to keep himsel
down. He hasn't come back to tell us how long.
-
"Allow me to offer my heartfelt sympathy, Mrs
Simper, you looked bad at your husbands funera
yesterday.
''Yes. plague take the luck, couldn't my new
blue silk It's my luck, thought
George, said the dudess to her love, they walk
ed in the country, what is worm fence?"
"Why, fence they build around field to keep tn
1oor1ns ont, of course
1t low claimed that Gen. Butler is to start pa
per in New York, in the interest of the Liquor Deal
This corroborates Gen. Grant, to Butler
propensity foc battling himself up.
VIM. R. Morse, book-keeper for the National sus
pender Co.. of New York, forged the Company paper
to the extent of seventeen thousand dollars. Bill il
fooling with the ''gallows.''
*x*
Sam Randall nominates Cleveland as the Democrati,
candidate for Presidency in 1888. But John Sherman
some other big Republican will be waltzing with
the Democratic scalp in that year of grace.
Mrs. Garfield has an income of about twenty -on
thousand dollars a year. Many woman would b.
glad to trade her off for such income, but W,
dare say this good woman would rather have he
great husband back.
The Commercial Gazette has a man who beat Living
stone He has actually discovered Ex-Presden
Hayes, and interviewed him. Hayes says he dom
know anything about politics now. He never did.
*&+
why" asked a little boy of conceited young man
would it be right to blow your brains out?''
I'm such, my deah feah, don't know. Why p
because the Scripture says from him that hatl
not shall be taken even that which he hath.'
The Gallia county farmers preparing to keep
large number of cows, to supply fresh milk to thu
cheese factory. With a few cows and good we
season, an abundant supply can be kept up.
Kentucky Rebel who was in the Ohio Peniten
t1ary with John Morgan, the horse-thief. has pub
lished "a true account of Morgan's escape how h,
tnnneled out, and The only thing that cal
be said about this escape is the story to wha
Northern Copperheads connived from the outside, tt
get Morgan out. The Rebel does not tell this.
In DR.. Sunderlands Church in Washington--whic1
Cleveland attends-a pew in front of Ceveland's be
came vacant. and there great anxiety to wht
should fill it. To the Democratic horror and chagrin
the curly pate of Fred Douglass looms up in from
ofthe blank face of Cleveland "There's escape,'
says the Democrat; 'ffI should go to Heaven, I'd
pect to find - niger there!"
IS
local editor out in Indiana placed the copy
hook obituary notice of prominent citizen. ani
an account of the exploits of famous mule, and the
young cnmpostor, who talked great deal while set
ting type, got them up like this: 'He good citf
much loved by all who knew him, but would kici
clean the sngetree and given to biting the
other mules. He a consistent member of Church
but would kick his master out of the stall on the
slightest provocation."
We wish could hear some of the bureau country
papers declare that Gen. Beatty is not Republican
without thinking of the drove of horses in the fable
There several animals in pasture field, among
them sleek and beautiful horse. of great power
These animals had meeting for the purpose of choos
ing leader and fully four-ffths of them chose the
sleek horse. At last poor emaciated spawned and
otherwise dapidated horse stepped forward and said
s'My friends, I'm opposed to my friend, the sleeI
horse because he is not fast: he couldn't keep up
We'd all outrun him.
The company astonished but held their peace
Presently donkey, with head as big as vinegar
barrel, and stomach filled with thistles, sol.
emnly forward
''Tm opposed to the sleek fellow
'sWhy why q" cried all in chorus.
Because he isn't horse, like the rest of and
couldn't rum
But the horse chosen leader, and they started
out for a the adjoining fields The strong
horse the lead of his fellows at the fence leap
ed gaily over, and went sailing away. The animals
all followed but twc-the dilapidated horse and the
big-headed donkey In trying to jump the fence and
keep up with the others, these two against the
fence and broke their nccks.
Fie! For Shame!
1t is curious that so much excitement
should be found i'll tearing madly after a
timid little creature which has scarcely
any chance of escape-its eyes prOtrudlng
in an agony of terror, gaSping for breath
outnumbered and outmatched, paralyZed
nv fear and dread. until at last pack OF