Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-11-29


good thing when ne sees it. but who is
sometimes satisfied with goods - low
as forty-eight or fifty dollars dozen.
Some Of their best customers would not
condeScend to take up any such bar
gain. and would fail to he suited in the
store. which just happens to he out of
the very finest grade of linen. This
grade, with a modest profit attached.
costs one hundred dollars for dozen
handkerchicfS or more if n monogram
Is desired. You StUrnly refuse To invest
III dozen of the bargains. even to pre-
sent TO friend. and then the Young
man. rather NOR" Chccrfully than be-
fore. leads vou with dulicaCy and grace
to the rear end Of the store. and arrays
himself in a garment which he calls a
wrapper. and which seems to have
been made of a slice of rainbow. cut of
when the rainbow was in a particularly
high-colored state The main color is
deliriOus sky blue. with flowers of
all the coiors y0u ever saw bios
soming on it. and vines of an aesthetic
assortment of tintS that halk the
imagination. Theyoung man explains
that the gentleman who has Just laid
il down is one of a family of German
bankers. He wanted a present for
lady. and wanted something trifle
richer The price of that work of art
was only ninety dollars. and il would
soften the heart Of any living female.
You explain that ninety dollars invested
in straw berry and vanilla miN, would
beat any wrapper in the opinion Of YOUR
girl, and the young man, concluding
that you are sordid, turns wearily away
and pulls down a pair of cotton socks.
At last YOU feel AT home. Here is
cheap avenue of escape; YOU will buy
all the cotton socks in the store and
get away without wounding the young
man. But in the midst If YOUR happy
thought your blood is chilled by the re-
quest to look at those socks as the light
shines through them. You know what
that means, and. sick at heart. YOU in
quire How much" without caring
whether the light shines through
or not. Only thirty-two dollars a
dozen. the Young man SAYS; ''abso-
lutely the finest thing made in the
world. and he calls your attention TO
the fact that with pair of the socks in
Your right hand and a piece of tissue
paper in the left hand You can not tell
the right hand from the left. No silk
sock could be woven As fine as that.
and many gentlemen will wear nothing
else. Their feet are so small that the
size of their shoes renders such socks
necessary.
Certainly. if Won prefer a silk sock.
you can have it, and the young man
hauls out endless pairs. each dream
of lOveliness, from the rather inferioT
article at three dollars a pair. which he
could. of course, not recommend. to an
article that YOU viii find serviceable
and satisfactory at scveny-two dollars
a dozen.
If you escape the silk sock snare, You
are dazzlcd with series of snowy
white shirt boSoms of wonderful pat
terms; some curiously embroidered.
which You are cOniidcntiallv warned
against wearing: others with little lin
en- knobs sticking out all over them. to
initiate the fashion Of rough goods for
ladies. and others i'll the good old
styles that YOU have been used TO.
Then comes the ordeal If gazing on
what seems about one million ,crayats.
every one different; aS many scarf
pins, and twice As many collars and
cuffs. Everything is from London or
Paris. with all sorts Of coats of arms
stamped over foreign names Roaring
beasts prowl around. uttering the sen
timent "HOni soft qui NAL Y pcnsc,"
which is a thrust at any one who may
not approve of their actions; and the
- alb gi.n - a., -.
found near the lions. with three little
feathers backing it up. the young man
tells you that ..Honi soft qui
NAL Y pense' is the ma of ''1ch diem" |
and that both wear just such gloves as |
he is offering you. Under these cir
cumstances YOU knucklc down. invest |
a week fun in a pair of gloves, with |
three small mounds of black thread on
the back of each. and escape with sigh |
toward the door. Butit il plain you do |
not yet thoroughly know the Young man |
whom YOU despised. You fit nervous
ly past the eighty-dollar underwear |
which first unsettled YOU. and glancing ,
around rs you pass a ease filled |
with canes YOU meet Sc smiling eve of
the Young man and il pins YOU. He |
hands you beautiful cane with
Chinese head Of oNidized silver and
queue braided of silver threads Me
you raise it to the light and
beg TO know how much a dozen. But
as you frame the question You push up
the Chinaman queue. and from the
mouth a jet of cologne
spray bursts forth and shoots into YOUR
right eye.
As you fly out into the cheap world
once more, rubbing Your eye. You look
fondly at your handsome trousers, won
dering how much they would be worth
with the light shining through them,
and contentedly wipe the tears from
your eyes with the handkerchief that
came at the rate of nine dollars and
tkir.,r