, 1885-01-24
THE OLD, OLD STORY.
THAT ANEcDoTE THAT Mr.. SAW
SAGE TRIED TO REALIZE
Ths Extraordinary Obstacles with which
the Other Fellows Tried to Dis-
courage Him = A Duel with
Adzss-Three TeIsgrAms-

lBm Nye In San Francisco Inglesidel
1 think that one reason there ara 50 fow
good story tellers among Us Is that the listen
srs are. in many instances, so wifully and
30 stubbomly unappreciative that 1t tends
towards discournging the shIfui narration
OF frst-class anecdotes.
There we're four Of US together coming
reroas the divide" a few years ago, and this
principle was then and there elucidated-
iibbon, Gregg and myself were congenial
acquaintance, and we would ave enjoyed
the long ride II IL had not been for a man
named Sausage, who had only recently es-
capped from some low-priced educational In
~stitution- He had acquired a few ~rot-iron
facts OF the cyclopRdia variety, and with the
odor OF the valodictory all through his
clothes no was making a tour OF the coast
and Colorado. He was what you might call
one Of those really statistical, brainy young
reservoirs OF information, who burst forth
from tho alma mater with tho intention Of
going to congress In two years, but finally
compromise the matter forty years later by
running for overseer Of highways and get
ting vowed under about 1877 majority.
When Gibbon saw Mr.. Sawsage get on the
stage he said to me In q low voice: @Nye, we
arc undone. Sausage will, doubtless, en-
deavor TO relate some anecdote TO us on the
way, and then l shall commit an atrocious
crime"
But he didn't do so tho first ten miles. He
confented himself by shedding other informa-
tion and explaining things that he had just
found in his physical geography, and stun
ming US with the hard words that always float
around In the aquarium which young men
refor TO as their brains.
Finally, however, some one reminded him
of a story. Gregg tried TO turn the CONVEX
~sation, but Il was Of no use. Said he: at
seems that many years ago a traveller or
tourist Of some description. whose name Il
immnterialS
Sunny name" said Gregg Don't you
think 80, Gibbonf'
Eyes. Foreigner, probably. / knew q
man named Jimmy rerrial once, though"
We discussed tho name for Four or five
miles and then allowed Sawsago 10 proceed.
swell, as WINS going to say, this tourist,
traveller or ~sojourner wa p~ropoundfng IN
quiries relative to the climate, changes and
sothornal-"
aNow, pardon me,n said Gibbon, sbut are
you suro that word Is not pronounced
lsothernnlf'
1 ventursd to remark that is-other-mal
was the correct accent, while Gregg sided
with Sausage. From n quiet discussion this
grew into q regular row which lnsted at
least ten miles. Then we allowed the nara
tive to proceed
@wen, at least, to make n long story
short, the traveller and a native Of this
country"
aRsmember his nameFr asked Gregg.
We've got tho other mani name We
ought 10 have this"
sNo." says Sausage, 'I didn't give the tour
lists name. you remember"
Il beg pardon" said Gregg. II don't want
TO seem querulous and all the time kicking
up q row with a comparative stranger, but
you certainly gave US the other gentleman's
name"
We then had n long and highly ~enjoyable
| quarrel, during which Gibbon and chal-
lenged Gregg and Sausage TO fight us In q
lark room, each nan to be blindfolded an
armed with an adzo. Best man to pay all
funeral expenses and scrub out the room next
day.
To this Gregg agreed, but Sausage said he
wasn't q very expert alderman, and wanted
TO apologize.
Gibbon and l hssitated. Finally we agreed
TO think IL over, but In the meantime we
begged Sawsage to go ahead with his story,
as we would reach the home station in five
minutes more.
At last he made out to tell the story that
Adam found under the currant bushes when
no went into the Garden OF Eden, about the
place where tho year was divided into mine
months winter and three months late into
the fall"
At the station Sausage went on east by
tho train, and we took No. 8 for Salt Lake
City. On tho way Gregg, Gibbon and / sent
n telegram 10 Mr.. Sawsage separately, which
read as follows, to-wit;
L Ptolemy Sausage, care Conductor No. A.
Ihave heard that B. c. story Of yours be-
fore. o Collect
n-I - knI 80