The Bad Lands cow boy. [volume] (Little Missouri, Dakota [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-1886, 1885-09-17
"a 40 2 & B
"a HHREWD DECEPTION.
Tho Remarkable Powers Of Colonel Atlantis
2Silssa pndAr praga


One day, after deep med itation, the
Prince Of Orange remarked to hen
timex: To the rayages OF strong
drink the hnmansystem resor TO va II
4 riouss resistant es yielding veryatil re-
4 sults::3 Tlis remark althoug It en-
bodies ii particula is phil osophy,
either inducti I've, 81 ogistice recon ~.
structiye or demo cratic, has 4 caused
4 much comment II
81 It II true that there Is 81 great differ
ence ID men, conc erning the power of
resistance against the influence Of
strong drink, and although no man
wholly escapes, yet some men while;
struyg ling under tile etfect of liquor,
can completely deceiveSa beholder.
+ There is Colonel Atlantus Pindergrass,
4 for instance. Il. you did not know.
that lie was drunk you would not
y: think that lie Ind been drinking. He
Inns II way Of standing on the tiptoe of
such pOliteness, a wa of saying such
j! pleasant and appropriate things, that
his lntoxicat ionsj is hidd en- under a
bushcl Of agreeablc ness. MS
a The other day Mr.. sAIartinliead vent
home with tho colonel. The colonel,
his wife and Mr.. AIartinhead were sit
ting ia the parlor when Miss Sallie
=l'ummel, nm old maid who had, enter
ed her tllirty. ninth volume, called.
/? The colonel presented his friend, and,
satisfied with%the successsof his sober
4 l,retense, lie leaned back and smiled,
y Then sheS began to- think about some.
thing and. the. thou hit that his two
\; visitors had not been presented, occur
red to him
All, Miss Pummel, allow ne to in.
trodllce my friend L IN Il. Martinhoad.' ~
ty.e have me-, 4 repli led Miss Pun
.es az; aiSh' kP9T tlst we're
Tho colonel's wife cleared hor
throat with a.sharp rasp of irritation.
The colonel continued: II have
thought for some time that would
like for you to. become acquainted, but
1T never occur reds to me that you were
old friends. = & 5s
5s 9 Colonel, letme see yen moment, 2
said Mrs. $Pindergrass. drawing her
husband into mn ad Joining room. : {
What's the mat Ter: y iith youP' she
5s n othing. .1s
a ~ y, otiin:g, the. mischie You are
drunk.i'' I sSs38 ssss *. 3
t Drunk Z, he repeated contcmptu-
ously. Oh, of course: q A man lust
gets drunk on the atmosphere. ~. g
ell II can tell yout that tho atmos.
I plierc when YOU |. nre around is quite
enough to MAX any one; drunk: You
must have been smelling your own
breath. 4. ]. m!
Has il come to this q Do y I, want W
to insult mop What have i done p',,fff35E5l'
Nv lily, just look how you acted
1 about Introducing 81 ssss3iSS I. 5$2
Oh, I see, said. tho colonel, with
50 Frightening change Of countenance.
lit was my fault nero matter Of
forge tfulness.,sss y b :E5
5ST Then, topping into the parlor, The
colonel said 8 Hiss Puminel, allow me
# to present Mr.: Martinhead.ss,,xx s;5
Miss Pumnel md 4 are ;acquaint-
ed, ''ss,replied M Martinhead.
That so Why! let me assure You
that SI didn't know it, lnfrod ucings
you tosan old friend, why, that's a
!. good oke. haW,S La wa capital Joke,
he, be. Wife let me see you d min.
nte.'s'' Il. {S
4 said the colone! !, when his wife had
followed him into an adjoining room.
Told me those folks was not ac-s
55$Sqaainted. You ought to be particular
about such things
e. gu ought to be killed IS his wife.
indignantly 5snap ped III 3S5as
hat haVe q lone 49,.
10y on good sfor-no timing thing, YOU
have made Yourself rid iculous. Z ous
are the most dcspisable man 4 over,
& saw III y; a 81 .ss
IN II be con founded il 4 oan under
stand you.
ri on are too drunk to understand
anything, you brute. 3 ;
Look hero, am tired Of being in
suited. NJ The colonel wheeled around
ind went buck ntoE tho pnrlor, whore
4 he proceed ed to make himself agree
Able and to disguise the fact that he
mad been drinking any thing. by, ~ y
,s:said lie, how many surprises there
q are IN store for us. We meet people
3 every day, and then, when We Il least;
sxpect If, they surprise us. w hy, ii
anyone had told me, MART fihead that
you had gone to school to M iss Pam
mol Il would not have elieYeds it. I,
He dldn,' Il 90 to. sohooI tos ID ne, =,
snapped Miss Pimmel. 81
Ah,a tliat5 was mi unde rstanding.
Oh, itSwas yon who vent 10 school TO
Martinhead: 81 49,
s5;5 g, sir, = intorpo Martinhead. n
3s:;5fst OI, you simply went To- school to-
+ gether. Yes, i got it mixed, but not
i nimell. u do like to sea old friends
meet each other. Let's see;T !. I've,
4 known N frtinhead for ten years, Miss
h Pummel, butsnot until stO-d ay did T
i know that lie was nm old friend of
yours 40, not until TO. day. e =
+ II. Martinhead, pleading the sud
deli recol1 ection 81 urgent business
withlfe and Miss P1nimel not de-;
string to ramain$ Ill tor her old friend
& had gone, Boon .too lk ler LEI we. The
colonel i not long aftarWard tumbled
i into bed. When he awoke next morn.
Inc he. remenbe cred nothing except
N that he had ID eceived his wife. g E 1ss
with him yesterday. but wouldn't do
His vito did not ireply
BY the way, our friend M artinhead3
have come acme will me yes
terday but could y get off b
ss.s Yes, some men have #a way of con-
&c aling the fact that they are drunk.
lrkassasgy 1faveler a |s ss 1,s5.i
Useless Weapons.
1t was Mt I'll .Teb that Il was first
& struck with The nferior qnalitysot the
English bayonet and sword bayonet.
At Tamai. tn 4 the th rush and scurry ,,sit
where else in tic sondan. lii ti,at
baltic the Radendo owns, as they rushed
out of their grass cover with their
short arHa III lrlv1 nita,hefl thaIns uaa