Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-10-09

YOUR attention TO 4 negro waiter VINO
has to stand by while the hotel guest
whom he is serving eats watermelon
Utica Observer.
"The Ewig-Weibliche'' is to be dis
cussed by the Concord philosophers
this year. In order to accommodate
the crowd all the railroads will carry
at excursion NATURALIZATION FREQ
Iress.
Prior to Adams going into the APP
pie business his record was a stainless
one. And yet he a. one of the great
army of model husbands who are new
er trusted with the latch-kcy.-FaH
RiUcr AdUance.
Old Friend-you ought to be proud
of your wife. Tom. Host-Yes? Old
Triend-She's Il most brilliant talker.
Nost-She ought to be. Old Friend
| could listen TO her for a whole night.
Host (wearilyl-l often do.-New lork
Star. .s-
II remember you very well.n said
the hotelkeepcr, "but your wife has
grown very thin" YES" "She
was taller" yes" land lighter
complexion, was she notP" Yes; be-
sides, you know, it is not the same
one. "-Haryord Times
Wife-What's the matter, dear?
You seem to 30 in a quandary.r Hus-
band-I am. 1 got a letter from my
friend Congressman x. to-day, in
which he requests that it be not pub
lished, and l can't make up my mind
what paper to take it to-
In speaking of the Junior class in the
university this year the, Professor said:
1.-The junior class will embrace seven
teen young ladies'" cit willP" ex-
claimed the. young man addressed.
Great Scott! then 1 shall join the jun
ior class. "--NeW York Star.
Nj. A. (who has come out for aday's
pleasure on his friends yacht: "Say,
Jack, what's all the racket overhead"
Jack: "Thcre's a Vessel to .windward
making signs of Distress" MIR. A.
Every faintly): "Signs of distressP
Send 'em some basins. "-Puck.
A Doubtful Diagnosis-Doctor. 'l'm
'fraid, Missus Brown, dat dish yer is a
case Oh de gastrick febah." Mrs.
Brown: oval, l doan see how he
ketched de gastrick febah roun' here,
kase we doan burn muffin but karisene.
an powerful little er, dat "-Hayper's
Basar.
One who has faith in the concrete is
sure to have it in the abstract-Miss
Cleveland. The concrete gives pener.
al satisfaction. We have never seen
any experiments made with the alb
stract. The preference In this CITY
seems to be for Belgian blocks-Phsla-
de!phia CaM
Dromedasies were expected to make
rare sport IN races with horses in Vi
emma, but they proved so slow that the
meanest cart-drawers brought in from
the street beat them easily. 1t was a
great disappointment to the projectors
of the entertainment, who expected the
dromedaries to hump themselves
Puck.
A Vassar graduate being out in the
country, went into the stable of a farm
house.
Dear me, how close the poor COWS
are crowded together" she remarked.
Eyes, mum; but we have to do that"
.Why SOP"
$50 they will give condensed milk"
TEXAS Stytimgs.
An old repeating connnarum; What
is the difference between a foggy day,
the Prince of Wales, an orphan, a
baboon, and a bald-headed man? Dur
ing a foggy day the air is apparent, the
Prince OF Wales, is the heir apparent, a
baboon has a hairy parent, IN orphan
has. nary parent, and a bald-headed
man has nary hair apparent. -LoweH
Courier.
Young Featherly lat a late hour)-.
Really, Miss Clara, it's very annoying,
but | had it on the tip of my tongue
but a moment ago. I was about to SAY
to say-er-singular, bit it seems to
have escaped me.
Miss Clara. looming to his assistanice)
Possibly you were about to say
Goodnight" MI. Featherly.-New
York Sun.
Small boy--s'say, nom, / know
What makes pops face so red. He's a
Nom "You disrsspectful child.
What do you meanp'
Small boy-"Why, Holsters turn red
when they are put in hot water, and I
beard pop tell Mr.. Rummie that he
had been in hot water ever since he
married you. "-RhaadelpAia CAL.
A han went into. the. country last
Sunday for q. walk. He carried his
oyercoat on, his arm, but, finding it
burdepqsome, hung it on a fence. TAX
ing q card from his pocket he WROTE:
edo not touch this coat, infected with
smallpox" He came back two hours
later and found the card, upon which
was written. underneath his warning,
Thanks for the coat; I've had the
smallpox.
They were sailing on the beautiful
waters of Minnetonka, and she looked
up into his eyes and asked him to tell
har about oil tho ll;Aa.aa4 laa.