Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-11-16

Jokes on the sealskin sacque are said
to be fur-fetched.
bar is a place where water is scarce
and danger near.
'Camels sometimes live to the age Of
100 years" 1t makes them hump to do
it, though.
''Nervous girl" wants to know how to
cure a tickling sensation about the face.
Get him to shave off his moustache.
An officer being intoxicated, an old SOL
dier observed that he was afraid there
was something wrong at headquarters.
A magazine writer affirms that there
is no such thing as absolute silence. If
the man is married he is right about it.
An exchange says that a folded paper
placed under the coat is an excellent
substitute for an overcoat. Now is the
time to subscribe.
Ladies who mail their letters in their
husbands pockets will continue to lament
the slowness of the mails, notwithstand-
| ing the immediate delivery system.
1t is said that if insanity is latent in a
person, it will almost always develop it.
self at sea. Nearly everything in per-
son usually develops itself at sea.
Teacher: eyes, man comes highest in
the scale. What comes next to man?
Small boy: ~ know, sir" Teacher
"We ell, what is it?' Small boy: ellis
shirt
"Oh, aunt" cried little Amy in the nur-
sery the other day, ''make Freddy behave
himself; every time happen to hit him
on the head with mallet he bursts out
crying"
The opinions now held by physicians
that ''raw cows milk is better for chill
raw cow gives much more milk than
boiled one.
'sYou must take this vessel for a low
affair."" said the captain to a spooney
couple who were monopolizing the only
chair on the quarterback. "This is NJ
court-ship."
Little things fret and worry us. 4
three-year-old boy may keep man in per
feet misery, whereas the presence of hi
eighteen-year-old sister would be consid
cred boon.
"Well, how do you get along?" inquired
country landlord on rainy morning
of guest whom he had put in a top-foo
room under leaky roof. "Oh, swim
mingly!" was the rep'y.
The revised version has it that ''all i
vanity and Il striving after wind" Their
must have been theatrical managers il
those days as well as now, whose great
est object in life was the newspape
sspuff''
convert and when he was taken into tn
church with others the sacramental win
was passed to him first. He took tn
bowl, drank the contents and handed
back with the remark, SPY George, wa
dry"
81 am just as much opposed to til
pling as anybody" said Henderson; "bu
nevertheless, liquor rightly used is
blessing to humanity. When / was sic
last winter, actually believe it saved m
life" Every likely; but how does thf
prove that liquor is blessing to human
ity?"
''Is to-day your birthday, Mr.. Ginge
5read?" asked Johnny of the young ma
in the parlor. ''No, Johnny, why do yo
ask?" isis is going to make you pre-
ent. She said So" Indeed. What di
she say?" s'She said you'd been comm
here long enough, and that she'd gi,
You the mitten tonight"
DR. Bulls Baby Syrup conquers collie at once,
is safe and sure Try it, Price only 25 cents
DR.. Balls baltimore Pills always relieve al
. cure headache. whether it GENES from indieest
} and nervousness. Bmy them. Price - cents
Days Horse Powder : without IA peer for f)iste
| lass ,f. itaa lol..l