New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-07
THE TALK or The DAY.


just spelling for a fight, but at the last moment die
covered that wasn't loaded for bear aud consequently
the whole thing had to be declared OF
good old Kentucky Democrat who has been awaiting
twenty-five years for a Iost Office owns me dos,
dog had been having run In tue sunshine ana was
resting the porch with his tongue hanging ont.
That's boss dog" sal travelling Dan, who had
been selling the old man a n OF goods. aa,-.
"What makes him stuck his tongue out that way r.
Politics"
"Why. sir that dog knows Cleveland Is elected, and
he knows want rOst office, ana hes got DIS tongue
out. ready to begin licking the stamps Merchant
Traveller.
Did you ever pound your thumb nail hanging pictures
Did you ever try make furnace go
Did you heap anathematic structures,
On the carpet-tack Undecided IN your toe
Don't say You didn't, for you did
The officers on the Garnet refer Captain skrydlon Of
the Russian corvette strelok, Captain skaddle-of
Senator Eustis stans for the Russian ct the gates OF
the Administration here at home. He lacks only the
awful Russian appenlage TO his m me to make him
iu-negel terror Washington, but that ia partially
made mp by the manner In which he fred of his mouth
before he went of Europe. The explosion has started
tile powers that be q rushin pace.
THE DTFERENcE.-schoolboy, Decatur, Ca: Is there
any diier,nc between ourna ist and an editor Yes
Tue journalist Is "A vino writes things for newspa-
per The editor is the uau VINO leaves out what the
journalist writes.-lAtlanta Constitution
Goddess Reform" In the face through Mr. Cevelands
lenses has suspicion that she grayey winked at him
An enthusiastic but somewhat tardy defence OF Mr.
Cleveland is the result
Baseball players are experimenting in trying to catch
balls dropped from high places like the Washington
Monument. II some of the players who are given 70
unworthy practices could be dropped from the mOnu-
IN mt it would result IN great benefit to the sport No
other drop seems have any lasting effect on them
Did you ever notice how a woman takes the cork out
OF a bottle q asks AN exchange. No. SIR we let the
gentleman Will idly by aud let woman nggle to
get cork out OF bo. IL takes her too ong-lsLPaul
Globe.
George slosson the champion OF the foureen-nch balk
line billiard game. Is victim Of Dyspepsia AbIother
billiard player says that his stomach is apt 10 go
back on him schaefers only hope to win the fret
przs IN the ina game last Thursday night was that
slusson would be seized with attack Of this dreaded
complaint Dyspepsia did not trouble him on this
occasion. In fact he was too good a cuer for it.
IN SUMMER TIME.
When chaste Diana lights the midnight skies,
Aud dew-irops sparkle on the roses Breast
And 'mong tho leaves the 0almy zephyr signs,
And people generally retire to rest.
Forth from his hole TO feast upon his prey,
And biting savagely doth murder sleep
-iBeston Courier
THE LATEST SONG.
oh mamma, dear mamma, come home with me now
He'll meet you tonight with n frown on his brow
For staying 50 long at the risk.
No lamp has been lighted Tonight IN the nail,
IT'S dark and the baby's awake, ,
An,i-therel was sure, dearest ma, you would fall
some night your poor neck you will break
Come home, come nome.
-lBoston Courier.
In anticipation of clean sweep. the postmaster OF
Golden. Col. has posted up the following notice on
the door o! his office: have IN get out OF this sheoans
about LIST OF August coming and want to close out oil
OF this truck before that nme' ana IL any OF you
have the welfare feowbeng at heart and are fond
M a good smoke walk right up 10 the counter aud drop
your shekelsyou will never get another such chance
A woman named Morla Maria de Jesus Catolica
Anosoltoa Romano Arabian MarOnte Is soliciting aims
about tho city to-day sue tells story 70 Tue en1ys
parents but the Turks destroyed al ther properly ana
banished them from home. New Mexican Review.
There Is quito ferment tue Kansas State University
at Lawrence over the forced rU9gnation OF Miss Kate
stephens Professor OF the Greek Language and Liter
AZURE she says that she asked TO resign not because
OF but because OF her and her lack OF
religious convictions The students generally side with
Miss stephens.
Our worthy postmaster and assistants were much sur
prsed and amused one gay recently ~ tnH acsIo ia
postmaster that he expected TO occupy the once
onarters he going to have and would Ike TO look
over the business. -lstoughton (Mass.) sentinel
The last Gems Is report In Chill presents an anomaly
that Is puzzling tho people very much. The married
population OF tho country distinct from widowers aud
widows ia stated to be 59S312. OF course half OF this
number or 800 S. ought be males and half females
But ch Is not the case according to the census report
which saws the married persons consist OF 300577 males
and 2o7735 females This leaves 2,Sl2 married men
without visible wives
young man by the of Justice Crawford took
IL into his that he would DO snake-chRrner lie
came huge ratesnae about three feet long on
Wednesday, aud Immediately began bis Inanipulatons
and uonurations with tho view Of making him captive
and reducing MIN dJcity lie got hold OF the shake
by SOME means and says he was playing Win enu
caresslnR hun having him firmly grasped around tue
body "A few inches the neck, when suddenly with
nS and twisting around the snake Dit him severely on
tne hand BY close aud skifu attention his physicians
saved his life but his survival was almost marvel as
Ihe doctors at one time almost despaired OF ralyng
him. (Runnels Uexas Record
Tbey have rretty clever printers devils in Texas As
Witness the following announcement in recent number
OF The Seymour Cresset Our senior Is sick and our
Junior has gone the country TO recuperate and we.
the devil are the machine. n editorials
ana locals don't suit you. bring them back and we
will awe you something next week.
The new Iyceum Theatre In New York is advertised
having perfect ventilation " all aisle seats and
vanisning orchestra" Tue vanishing orchestra seems
60 than 10 have the audience vanish tetween
avoid hearing orchestra that Will not vanish
New. Orleans Picayune