Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1885-06-18
MODERN ARCHlfEcruRE. (!
NH Nye Tells What Called Out His First
faisekoed,

Il... 4
Il may be premature. perhaps, but
desire to suggest TO anyone VINO may
be contemplating the erection Of II
summer residence for me, as slight
of his high regard for S1,y
sterling worth and symmet-,,, 81
.u.oneo 'o' ..ynisi more sugges-
'''o :" earnest admiration and warm
personal friendship than OF great IN,
irihsip value, etc. - that hope he VIII
! OF cDSssrac. !. Sa the modern plan OF
mental halluriation and morbid deiir-
ium tremens peculiar to recent archi-
lecture. a1u,i no
Cjf course, man ought not to look
Gift house in the gable end, put II
my friends don't know me any better
than TO build mo summer cottage
and throw in odd windows that no.
rody else wanted, and then daub 1t
up with colors that they have bought
at auction and applied to. the mouse
after dark with shot gun, think II
is time that we had a better under
standing. ... 80,
Such a structure does not come with
In either of the three classes OF renais-
sanee. IL Is neither Florentine, Roman,
nor Venetian. Any man can originate
such a style of architecture If he VIII
drink the right kind of whisky long
enough, and then describe his feelings
TO an amanuensis. Imagine the SEN
sation that one of these modern, sawed
off cottages would create a hundred
wears from now, if it should survive!
But that is impossible. The only
cheering feature of the whole matter
is that these creatures nf disordered
imagination must soon pass away, and
the bright sunlight of hard hotse-sense
shine in through the shattered dormers
and gables gnawed-oif architecture
of the average summer resort. A
friend of mine, few days ago, showed
me his new house with much pride,
He asked me what thought OF 1t. |
told him liked il irrst-rate. Then !
went home aud wept all night 1t was
my first falsehood.
The house, taken as whole, looked
to me like skating-rink that had
started out TO make money and then
suddenly changed its mind and re-
solved TO become a tannery. Then
ten feet higher it had lost all self
respect and blossomed into full
blown drunk and disorderly surround
cd by the smokestack of n foundry
and with the bright future OF thirty
DAYS ahead with the chain-gang.
That's the way it looked to me.
The roofs were made of little odds
and ends of misiit raftCrs and distorted
shingles that somebody had purchased
at sheriif's sale, and the rooms and
stairs were giddy in the extreme. ]
went in and rambled around among
the Cross-eyed staircases and night
mares till reason tottered OH her
throne. Then ] came out and stood
on the architectural wart called the
side porch 10 get fresh air. This
porch was painted dull red, and it
! had wooden rosettes at the corners
! that looked like brand-new carbuncle
on the nose of n social wreck. Far
| Their up on tho demOralized lumber
| pile | saw now and then, places where
/ the workman's mind had Wondered
| and he had nailed on his clapbOards
wrong side up and then painted them
with the paris green that he had in.
/ tended To use on something else. II
was an odd looking structure indeed.
| II my friend got all the material for
nothing from people who had frag.
ments of paint and lumber left over
after they failed, and then if the work
men constructed it nights for mental
! relaxation and intellectual repose, with.
/ out charge, of course the scheme was
financial success, but architecturally
! the house is gross violation of the
statues in such cases made and pro
vided, and against the peace and dig
nifty of the state.
There is a look of extreme poverty
about the structure which man
might struggle for years to acquire
and then fail. No one could look up
ON it without feeling a beartache fol
the man who built that house, and
probably struggled on year after
year, building little of it at q time
as he could steal the lumber, getting
a new workman each year, building !
knob here and protuberance there
putting In a three cornered window a
a
of broken glass and other debris at an
other, patiently filling in around thu
ranch with any old rubbish that othel
people had got through with, an,
painting 1t as he went along, takin!
what was left in the bottom of the pot
after his neighbors had painted thei
bobsleds or their tree boxes-little ia
vors thankfully rcceived-and theI
surrounding the whole pile with
potpouri of roof, grand farewell in
cubus of humps and hOllows for tn,
rain TO wander through and seek on
the different cells where the lunatic,
live who inhabit it.
| tell my friend of one thing that
thought would improve the looks o
bis house. He asked me eagerly
what it could be. said il would TAX,
a man of great courage to do it 70
him. He said he didn't care for that
He would do it himself. IL it onl,
needed enc thing he would never res
till he had it, whatever it might be
Then j told him that he had friend
one he could trust-who would stea
In there some night while the famll'
were away, and scratch a match on tn,
leg of his breeches or on the breeche
of any other gentleman, who happen
ed to be present, and hold it where i
would ignite the alleged house, ant
then remain there to see that the fir
department did NOT NEEDLE with il, h,
would confer great favor on on
who would cheerfully retaliate in kin,
on call. Bill Wye in Chdttanocg,
Times.
An Expensive Luxury.