davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04
RATES OF ADVERTIsINo.
SONG FROM "rHE M1KADo."

AS some day it may happen that victim
must be found,
I've got little list--Ive got little list
OF social offenders who might well be under
ground,
And who never would be missed-who
never would be missedl
There's the pestilential nuisances who write
for autographs
All people who have fiabby hands and irrita-
ting laughs
All children who are up in dates and floor
you with 'em, flat
All persons who, in shaking hands, shake
hands with you like that
And all third persons who on spelling tete-
a-tetes insist;
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none
Of 'em be missedl
Chorus-He's got 'em on the list-he's got
'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed
they'll none of em be missed.
There's the midnight serenader and the
others of his race
And the piano organist-rve got him on
the listl
And the people who eat peppermint and puff
it in your face
They never would be missed-they never
would be missedl
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic
tone,
All centuries but this and every country but
his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses
like guy,
And "who doesn't think she waltzes, but
would rather like to try;''
And that singular anomaly, the lady novel
ist--
don't think she'd be missed--Im sure
she'd not be missed
Chorus-Hes got her on the list--he's got her
on the.list;
And don't think she'll be missed
I'm sure she'll not be missedl
And that nisi prius nuisance, who just now
is rather rife,
The judicial Ihumorist--r got him on the
list9
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of
private life
They'd none of 'em be missed-they'd none
of 'em be missedl
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising
kind,
Such as what dye call him-Thing-
Bob and likewise Never Mind,
And 'St-'st-'st-and Whats-his name, and
also You know-who-
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather
leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put
upon the list,
For they'd none of em be missed-they'd
none of 'em be missed
Chorus-You may put 'em ON the list-you
may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none Of them be missed
they'll none of 'em be missedl
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04

He had gone into stock speculation
with the cashier of bank across the
street, and turned over nearly all the
large money orders he received for the
bank to cash, until it held 50, 000
dollars worth of them against
the postoffice. He failed in HE
speculations and could not meet the
orders / offered to help him make up
the deficiency, and advised him to 60 to
friends to borrow and prevent
exposure. He confded his case
10 one man and becoming
discouraged because he refused to ad.
vance the money, did not have the face
to 90 elsewhere. The man had lost a
leg in the war, was prominent member
of the leading church and
was greatly respected in the com.
munity, so that when / ex.
posed him at last the public would not
believe he could have done wrong.
was denounced for running his reputa
ton, and it was not until the bondsmen
were called on to make up the deficiency
that people began to find out that had
made no mistake. The exposure led to
the prompt discharge of the cashier, !
have become accustomed to such abuse,
however, and do not mind much about
it. One would think that this expert
ence would harden me, but it doesn't.
/ hate to expose man more than you
can realize, and l have more sympathy
for human nature the more know about
it's 'failinps"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Established on a sound basis-A brass
band.
The tooth of time-One extracted on
credit.
"The battle is not always to the
strong" said the judge, as he awarded
the butter premium at county fair
50. Paul Herald.
The latest craze in fancy note paper is
a distressingly bright red tint known as
FL Mahdi. 1t is unruled, same as Ell
Mahdi was. Boston Post
The man who made the mosquito bars
Should with the angels stand,
And float around among the ~
A harp within his szsg.
A learned doctor says; "Keep your
infants warm" Yes, warm them up
even if you have to wear out ten pairs of
old slippers. - Providence Star.
"Circus Soap" is advertised We sus-
pect its manufacture is controlled by
ring, and the article is used principally
for washing tumblers. n-Norristoton
Herald
HE'S ALWAYS ON HAND.
When aid TO anyone you lend
And you are cheated, 10!
How quickly comes along a friend
To say, =" told yor sow
Boston Courier.
Nautical Husband Gokingly)-Oh, Pm
the mainstay of the family. Wife-Yes,
and the jibboon, and the-and the
Small boy Qrom experience)-And the
spanker, too, mamma Worcester Ga
zett6.
GENrbauauor I saa No., uorp AT,IIar I
cannot help thinking OF the thirty marks
lent you year agoW Strange how
people differ! forget them regularly
every time | meet you'll Btiegendo
BLdetter.
An Augusta, Ca, man is training
monkeys TO play baseball. The beauty
of a monkey baseball player is that if he
mufIs a ball with his first pair of hands
he can catch it with his second. Bur
liagtoH free Press
Mrs. Fresh-Won't you please favor
us with a song, Miss Porterhousel Miss
Porterhouse- Really, Mrs. Fresh, l am
in very poor voice tonight, and / fear |
cannot give satisfaction. 'Oh, never
mind that! Everybody is so dull to-
night, and l have noticed that singing
will always start conversation. No one
will listen TO you at all. l."-PhHaietphid
Cal.
Now doth the maiden forthwith go
Through autumn fields TO roam,
To gather parti-colored leaves
And bear them TO her home.
Hour after hour she picks them up,
Until she weary grows,
And in her back there comes creak,
And wind nipped is her nose.
Then she the leaves doth press between
The pages of sCme book,
AND at them from this time nenceforth,
Doth never take a look
Boston Gdzetie.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04
SILENT MUSIC.

Melodious silence reigns from hill to hill,
For there may be sweet music without
sound.
The wistful autumn, golj.and-russet
gowncd,
Both oil our souls with rhythmic feeling fill;
On winter days when oil is bleak and chill,
And zach bare limb is with q snow ridge
crowned
In that white prospect melodies abound
Strains we hear not, but which our senses
thrill;
On still, spring days, when the buds bedecl
the trees,
And bright green leaves shine through a
blossom Storm
And in the listess, dreamy, summer days,
Nature is rich with silent harmonies
Beauty is music in whatever shape,
1t smiles on us in natures mystic ways.
-R X. Mtntittrick, in Good Cheer.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04
Nine Ways to Commit Suicide.
Wear narrow, INN shOes.

i. Wear narrow, thin SHOES.
2. Wear snug corset.
g. Sit up in hot, unventilated rooms
till midnight.
A. Sleep on feathers in a small, close
room.
8. Eat rich food rapidly and at ir
regular times
q. Use coffee, tea, spirits, and tobacco.
Z. Stuff yourself with cake, confec
tionery, and sweetmeats, and swallow &
few patent medicines to get rid of them.
s. Marry fashionable wife and live
beyond your income.
.. Employ a fashionable and needy
doctor to attend you in every slight all
ment. Di0 LsWis's "Nuggeis" "
Candor in an advertisement Board.
prq taken In -
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04

~ am just as much opposed to tip
pling as anybody" said Henderson ;
'but, nevertheless, liquor rightly used
is a blessing to humanity. When | was
i'll last winter actually believe it saved
my life" Fogg-"Very likely; buthow
does that prove that liquor is a blessing
TO humanity? Boston Transcript.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04

Duncan MeGrsgor, the man who first
lived in the cottage where Grant died,
and gave the name TO the mountain, still
lives in the neighborhood.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04
"Your affectionate son,
"SAUL KITTREDGE. "

"Hurry up, Maria! There's another
carriageful goin' over to Hayer-
ford to hear Saul sing basso pro
fondo," called the jovial undertaken to
his wife. "And if it ain't-Pm blessed
if it ain't!-the deacon and Mis- Kit
tredge settin' up as pert as lizards"-
Harper'S Bdzar.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1885-11-04

Candor in an advertisement Board
ers taken in"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27

COACHMAN and GROOM.-By a single man,
~ just disenga ed thoroughly understands the BUSINESS
Trustworthy and sober capable AMI wiling To assist IN tao
f. J., 22l East 45th-st.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27
Ghe Curt.
81 arbles an0 Alanteis.

MARBLE and granite monuments, head
w stones Enclosures mantels, thing &c A.KLABER
256 10 go East 5hs Second Avenue Elevated Station
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27
Ccunlrn Doaro il)anteo.

A FOREIGN lady engaged in teaching wishes
~ to find pleasant fanny OF the city, where her
verssion French and German. during July and August
would be deemed equS aent for board references
.hangod. Address = ID, Tribune Once.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27
Gllna!ions ruanteo--femaIes.

MALE AND FEMALE HELP
THE PROTECTIVE EMPLOYMENT ASSOCIATION
Chartered by the state OF New-A ork
8. OBJ IL. President. l.. V ODELI. Treasurer
". H. IItOHsEIs secretary. NJ. a. KELLOGG, Attorney
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27

COACHMAN.-By a single young man who
~ thoroughly understands his basincss and good.
full city with drscass last plOyer
Address J. b. l69 MacdOugalst
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27
GUNNER Resorts.
GUNNER Resorts.
ARE YOU GOING TO THE COUNTRYf
N HOME JOURNAL.
out to-day, with extra sheet, has
Second edition OF the
SUMMER RESORT GUIDE,
Giving places pricaA distances ant all Particular
sold even where + We Cents.

MORRIS PHILLIPS CO, Park Place New YORK
DIRONDACKS.-L Cottage summer
~ board Reference f. shaw. 7e CeoaT-st New-f ork
For particulars address - -, - ~
A DIRONDACKS.-A House, Lake Placid
~ n Yin the midst Of gTandest Adirondack scenery
evaton 2CO feet; sanitary conditions perfect nne boat
ipg drives deer hunting trout nshng For circulars terms
etc address HhNRY ALLEN, Lake PLACID. N Y
A THE CHILL COTTAGE" Norwood, Nj:
N. Large beautiful private home for limited number OF
summer guests newly furnished spring beds high healthy
bathroom cold water Po church, vr minutes
10 satiou-N OrheTn railroad. New-Jesey, West Shore
IL miles from York. Please call or address -
haIles r. Knapp, l3thst ana Oth ave. N l.
s. Chase. New-YOrk Tribune
" ' The HILL HOME" Norwood, n. J.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27

GRO0M.-By a young Englshman, lately
II. W. IL, lO2 West 3lst-sL ~ Y.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27
Summer Resorts.
HlILETT'S LANDING HOTEL,

LAKE GEORGE WASHINGTON co. N. Y
open June October Favote resort NewY ork and
BROOKLYN people Excellent table Boating Riding Tennis.
bowling ney, Billiards and Mary Andtrsons steam cht
Gaatea Terms moderate Special rates Tor June and sep
TENDER send for descriptive circular and references 40
dress until NJ ay POP q. Box 400 Albany, Y Alter that
date Hulett's Landing Washington Co, n. Y.
W HOWARD BENDER Proprietor
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27
AVON IN NJ,

KEY EAST BEACH, ". j.
Five miles south Of Long Branch; charmngly locate
junction r4yeI. New house, furniture
convenience Including elevator warm and eod So
bGlhs three floors send Tor illustrated SkSOI
Al AVON INN" Address
h. IL YARD.
who be Thursday evenings at the Murray III
Hotel. Now y civ.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27
sitratlons nDdnie6-tilales

COACHMAN or DRIVER.-Understand tho
~ care of horses: good re lerences Address
+. f., Tribune Offca.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-05-27
pOCKAWAY BEACH AUCTION.
GOnnirp proptrip for Sale ano 90 Get
NEw-YoRK, Tuesday, May 20. 1885.
RECORDED REAL ESTATE raAS3fsSA
SrW.YoRK CITY.


AT LONG BRANCH.-T0 LET-A Haud
"A somey furnished cottage coniainng IA largo
bo; and cold water bath and laundry all
in compets order; gas in every paror up
holssFs6 bedrooms 10 ash suits with narele tops
mattress beds dining and kitchen furniture complete
everything necessary furnished except slverware
and table linen stable with mans and accommoda.
tons for three horses and Two carriages the premises
property on cheseaye within 800 feet OF oceanave Also
eoaso u rooms equally desirable and similar in all
iis appointments Apply L. H. GRAIL, Room
10. Times Building or agents at the Branch
CAMDEN, Coast of Maine.--Several farms by
tho sea ~ farm cottages furnished or not TO lot on for
fale very desirable locations. Address o. H. NJ
bAlKEII kocklert Me or No. VI broadway, keW.l OK
CAZENOVlA.-1'o let for the summer two
~ hcsses suitable for large faulty with children un.
asual adyanagss particulars mail references exchanged
II. A. HANNUM. Cazen0yta. n. y.
FOR RENT. Furnished house Greenwich,
= Conn. Bog 205l for months from June SOC
sveh minutes rsD depot location unsurpassed Tor beauty
E0R SALE.-At .Palenyille, in the Catskills,
y, the Rome Cottage and barn, with twelve acres Of
mDuntsn land The house has pafloT, dning.rooa and
snchtn Re- ann ten bedrooms all in good order mountain
spnk 2sa the house bali OF the purchase price can remain
IALLo0x. JENNINGS CHASE. casskn, n. Y.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-02-27

lares and towns: also, establishing an inde-
pendent school district OF Fairbank, Sully coun-
ty. BY Mr.. Nickeus, providing for a board OF
education of the city OF Jamestown an | regulat-
ing the management of the public schools.
Council bills passed;
Amending sec. 553, Criminal Code, fixing the
fees of sheriffs and other officers for the trans
portationo Of insane persons to the asylum; hiking
the fees for transporting convicts to the pen1-
Tertiary: providing for recording official bonds
of civil officers; s~upplementing the act to enable
school districts in Barnes and Gri0gs counties
to fund indebtedness; establishing an asylum
the corporate limits of the city of RedfeId.
Bill introduced in the house:
BY Mr.. Coe, amending sec. 113, Code OF Civil
Procedure; also, amending sec, 229, Civil Code:
also, amending sec. lib, Civil Code. BY Mr.:
Dewoody, authorizing the commissioners Of
Edwards county TO fund indebtedness. By Mr..
Runkel, amending sec. 70, chap. %. Political
Code. By Mr.. Rogers, restoring In part the
Runkel. concerning corporations and persons In
the business OF banking. BY Mr.. Mccall. defin-
Ing the boundary lines Of Monroe county.
House bills passed:
A Joint resolution and memorial to congress
requesting the president of the United States TO
Withdraw from the market certain pine lands in
Minnesota: authorizing the commissioners OF
Sargent county to &pnd indebtedness; authorize
ing the commissioners Of Dickey county 20 fund
Indebtedness.
Council bills passed:
Establishing the North Dakota hospital for the
insane, and providing for the government OF the
same: revising and re-enacting the act locating
and establishing the North Dakota agricultural
college at Fargo; appropriating So, 600 for the
payment OF the expenses of the militia to Sphinx
county; repeating chap. 81, Session Laws OF
1881, relating to the pay OF couaty commission
cooperating the city Of Grand Forks; providing
for q new board OF education In the city or
Fargo.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-02-27

there are several branches of industry
in which they ia engage. Coal mines
are found in nearly all the western
states, and much of the work in and
around them is performed during the
winter. Coal-mining requires com
paratively little skill. Most of the
coal mined in the west is bought and
consumed by farmers. In many places
it is practical for farmers to work coal
mines on the cooperative plan. The
cost of working q coal mine, aside from
the labor and food of the workmen,
is not large. Farmers can supply the
labor and furnish the food. Many
farmers who have no means to take
stock ina company can obtain employ.
ment in mines owned and worked by
capitalists. The ~proprietors of coal
mines often have difficulty In obtain
ing reliable woTkmen.
The iron mines of Missouri and the
copper mines of northern Michigan
are worked all winter, and give con-
slant employment to many lei The
business of cutting and packing ice
is rapidly increasing. 1t gives em-
ployment not only to q large number
of men, but to many teams. The
large ice companies generally own the
teams they work, while they procure
their laborers from towns. 1t is gen.
orally easy to procure men in a city by
advertising for them, or making appli-
cations for them at Industrial agencies.
In many cases farmers could obtain
work for themselves and their teams
by making application to the managers
of ice companies a sufficient time IN
advance of operations. Farmers gem
orally haYe a reputation for industry
and morality superior to those who
seek work in the cities, and this would
aid them in obtaining Employment. A
dozen young farmers living in the
same neighborhood would find pleas
ure, as well as profit, in working to-
gether during the winter. They could
be of assistance TO each other, and en-
joy the com~panionship they were ac-
customed TO when at home. In the
spring they could commence farming
operations With full pockets, and none
the worse for a winter spent In mining
or cutting ice. ~ CAto0go Times.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-02-27
Farln-Gardening.

The farmer who continues to raise
the same crops that he grew before
towns and manufacturing villages
sprang up all around him, makes q
great mistake. In the older States, at
least, there are but fesT farms not
within an hours or two hours ride OF
a market. LIE Is worth while for farm
ers in such localities, to consider IL
they can afford to raise field corn.
when sweet corn will pay them much
better. 1t is true, that sweet cor
needs high manuring. but when the
ears are off, there will be a heavy crop
of the very best fodder. The ears win
bring in ready money, inst how mmch
Wal depend upon the market, bull safe
to say, more than any crop of ripe corn
would be worth. 1t is a mistake to
grow late potatoes, to be dug when
every one else has potatoes, and prices
are low, while early potatoes will
bring several times the price of late
ones. 1t is so with other crops. There
are but few garden vegetables that
may not be grown as farm crops, and
it is q mistake to raise produce that
will bear transportion from q distance,
instead of that suited to a near mar
zet, and must be disposed Of at once.
A farmer, on the other hand, would
make a mistake. were he to devote his
land to a new set Of crops at once He
should determine to grow those things
that pay the best, and to gradually
work into a more profitable kind Of
farming. Those VINO propose 70 do
this. will find sweet corn and potatoes
excellent crops to begin with. Others
will pay better, bus these are best to
prepare the land for other and more
profitable crops. 1t would have been
better had the land been prepared for
these last fall, but as this was not
done, make it ready as soon as it is
to work it.-Dr. Thurber, IN liner
ican A~gricnlmriss for February
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-02-27
Mrs. Whitman and the Strange Beast

Forty years ago or more, when the
doors of the Athen@um used to be
closed from u to 2 O'Clock. Mrs.
Whitman frequently spent those hours
there alone. One summer's6ay, when
the librarian returned from dinner, he
found Mrs. w. in a state Of consider
able excitement, which she explained
by saying that while walking up and
down the hall, as was her custom.
busily engaged in reading, she sud
denly found herself confronted by a
strengthening animal, with eyes too
large and ears too long for a cat, sit
ting up directly in front of her and
boldly looking her in the face. Some
what startled by the unexpected ap-
partition, it was not strange that she
gave a litte scream, ~whereupon the
creature quickly disappeared and had
not been seen again.
What could it have beenp She was
a little afraid that her imagination was
growing too active, and was PLAYING
her tricks. The librarian was able to
relieve her fears, however, by going
to a favorite hiding-place of a tame
rabbit belonging to one of the neighbors
"u1Sh oAeoA oHppcu iutU tuc iibIdIy
and played around in the alcoves, and
which had come in that day unob-
served, and had been locked in with
Mrs. Whitman. The poor creature
was as much frightened as Mrs. w.
had been, but they were ney afraid
OF each other afterward-the lady. es-
pecially, having gained a wonderful
accession of courage from having been
able to brighten a rabbit Pr0Uidenct
JournnL.
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-02-27

BISMARCK, Oak, Special Telegram, Feb.
2O.-Nothing Of special Importance was done
In the legislature to-day, both houses devot-
ing the time to clearing the tables of a num-
Der of unimportant bills. preparatory TO leay-
inc for Fargo. Bills introduced In the a
Gil:
nv M. Pettigrew, amending section 402. Civil
Oode. By Mr.. MISSIONER. providing for the con-
strs.rtinn ~ siaawalks "a nninnernnrated vii
The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1885-02-27

pisMARcE, Special Telegram, Feb 1S.-
"nen the hour arrived to-day for the con-
suefation OF the railroad bill, the lobby of
Sc council chamber was crowded by inter
ssVcu spectators, among them several we'll
a'o~h railroad N elevator men. 1t had
Zen quite generally understood that an
ouoft mad been made by the railroad and ele-
sa'or corporations either todefeat the bill or
50 amend 1t as to practically thwart It's
spperations. When the council considered the
,tu IN committee Of the whole, the matter of
aeouing upon the amount of salary OF the
commissioners to be appointed under It's
DIVISIONS was passed over. To-day the
mount pat was liked at So, 900 per annum Mr..
euaIason offered the following amendment
70 section 10:
,rusning contained In this act shall be con-
nish s0u 20 require any railroad company to fur
sleiah bafs 70 be loaded directly from wagons OF
prevan, when the effect Of so doing would be 90
anv v ~ kne reception OF grain from the public by
roy roy public elevator or warehouse upon the rail-
consiSas sucu COMPANY. The amendment elected
yailjns discussion. the general opinion pre-
tendas .nat 1t would practically defeat the in
the nIa, operation OF the bill. Notwithstanding
Messsraa Isinie arguments offered in its favor bv
vote fbs aaunaruson and Nickeus, when put co q
Twon,.. N~lckeus, Richardson. la Moure and
afhrsass, oeing the oniy members voting In the
ID yvss asise' When the roll was called ON the bill
littla a ssanseu py a unanimous majority. IL is a
house thcnuitt 70 Predict the fate OF the bill in the
little so sne members OF that body feeling a
bil n ~ over the annihiiation OF the Oliver
- council and owing 10 the fact that