Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-04-24
BRIGHT BITS.

A GHOST in st. Paul orders beer and then
vanishes. The reason they think he's ghost,
and not a native, is that he vanshes without
drinking the beer.-LOloeU Citizen.
SECRETARY LAMAR continues his daily horse
back riding not, it is said because he loves
the exercise, but to give visible assurance that
the south Is in the saddle.-Repubticdt Paper.
"GoT anything in your purse?" asked Mr..
Ball of his wife as they sat down in the street
car. Yes, dear; linng," she replied, sweetly,
and MIR. Ball paid the fare.-Herchdnt ITd0sIer.
THE Popo5o Romano lately printed the fol-
lowing advertisement in English: "A Roman
gentleman wishes to marry English. Ameri-
can or German lady. Very serious affair.
Apply W. W."
A NURSEkYMAN says that the hest kind Of
dogwood is the red Towering. Our expert
ence is that clothes-pOle is the best, because
it Is light enough to handle easily and long
enough to enable you to hit the deg at almost
any range.-Pucb.
1t is rumored that Postmaster General Villas
is going to institute a reform in postage
stamps, so the twOs can be distinguished from
the ones even in the darkest night. The mu-
cilage on the twOs will be favored with va
nilla and that on the ones with lemon
SDrtnafeld Union.
THE new Empress of China is named Kan
Di. No doubt she will be a Kan Di-date for
great deal of ''taffy" from the photographic
fraternity i'll this country. They have already
commenced to extract Sweet puns from her
name; but Kan Didly. we don't think it very
gallant for them to do sO.-N0rriStoaon Her.
AID.
IT is terrible to see what revenge these
plumbers show" he said, as be laid down the
paper he had been reading. "Yes, it is" she
replied; "what special circumstance do YOU
refer to now?" "A Philadelphia knight of the
solder has just poisoned a dOdo at the Zooog-
zeal Garden because the bird had larger bill
then he had."-The JUd0e.
= 4Turp ppr., 1r-pp ttNVI,- 1,o.-o 49, .-.
You in jail AGAIN." asked an Austin philan-
thropist of Jim Webster. who was PLAYING
checkers with his nose on the grated window.
because | had the luck to find Col. Yerger's
watch" THAT'S no crime to find a watch"
Yes, but you see. boss dun found it before
he lost it."-ZesdS SiTtiRgS.
ANOTHER Indiana man has got an Office.
Bayliss w. Hanna, having been appointed
Minister to Persia. The account stands as
follows:
Indianians who want Office .9s. $50
Indianians who have got office ....... 6
Still available. ....................... .98 24t
-Philade1Dbia Press.
Is there no way of putting stop to this
dynamite business? New troubles arise every
day, but the people don't seem to heed the
warnings they receive. The latest explosion
is one that may happen In any household
where there are a wiling baby, an impatient
mother and an experimenting father. 1t Oc-
Cured in this way; The father dropped lit
tie dynamite on the carpet, the baby slid over
it, the mother spanked the baby. Father,
mother and baby-all gone. Such lessons
should give wholesome instruction, but they
don't seems to do so.-Nea0 York Tribune.
THE doctor is out with his saddlebags, -
Pills, sulphur. quinine and saw, =
And changing our ills into one of-bills.
And killing us 'cOrding to law.
The fathers examine the children's tongues,
The mothers run all the while,
We reich and we purge to the pail and dirge,
The old, the same Old spring style.
The mllkmaid is singing way down the lane,
And pumping the brindle cow.
Though strange, it is true, that she Just gets
through
AS William comes from the pillow.
They happen to meet at the pasture fence,
He helps her-well, | should smile;
His arms out of place a loving embrace,
A kiss IN the old spring style.
st. Louis Republican,.