The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1885-05-23
The Smart Station Agent.

Pfet-
When I go to the station for the
purpose OF taking train and find him
sitting with heels cooked up on the
table by the telegraph instrument
and his head bowed dowa upon his
breas. with the great weight OF res
possibility that res.s upon him
when he starts, az if he had been
shocked by some OF the current
events that are flashing along the
wires anl looks panied because he is
not privileged to communicates them
to an anxious world-when he rises
and yawns and goes 10 the ticket.
window to communicate t. some
waiting wayfarer ti,e burdensone
knowledge with which he is supposed
to be full TO oyerhowing, | admire
him.
When boarding school comes in
to embark for nome a. vacation time,
! pity him. About iofty girls cAaiter-
Ing like magpies and drowning the
voice OF the telegraph VITA their CAB
bic, is more than any station agent
can bear when he is getting train or
ders, and | pity him from the pro.
foundest aoita OF my heart.
lonce knew a fair young man whose
life was one great COB oi good promise.
lie had lied himself into prominence
in the community, and the people had
come 10 believe that one day, he
would be one oI the most highly re-
spected advocates at the bar or occn-
pants ol the sanctum. When he WAS
mere babe, the Oh ladies said tile
Lord had evidently intended him for
the ministry, bat when he got to wan
dering away with other peoples
horses and playing poker. they reluc-
tantly adm tied their error and ceased
to anticipate that his lie would be de-
voted to plotting sinners TO the skies.
They then unanimously decided that
he was destined 10 be foremost among
the barristcrs and other law-cyading
things, but in the ve.y prime ol his
promise he became snpe III a rail-
way station and began learning tela-
graphy.
Ills fluent and graceful style OF pre-
yarication soon wol Tor him the es-
TEEN and confidence of his superior,
and in due time, the latter could 70
oft on a vacant 10. near The depot and
pitch iiorse-shoes with full assurance
tlat the business OF the office would
BE- properly attend sl to and the con
fiiing pubic kept waiting seven
hours after sapper-tim1 wien the
train WAS ten hours late, under the
impression that it would be Oh hand
in twen.y minutes. The .young man
,aY.it,.I i.....a4.4f - ~
work oi seli-eiucation and soon be-
came proficient. One day, when he
had acquired the requisite knowledge
and confidence to run the road, which
was about iour months after he first
entered the Office, he sent the follow
irg MESSAGE to the train dispatcher,
who called his station to give orders:
agent playing minnble peg four
blocks away. Shall | receiye? +. X.
o." OF course he was instructed to
receive, as if there were any delay
train would sooi rush by the station
and 90 crashing into the rear end OF
another which had broken down be-
tween that station and the next. lie
did we'll, and that evening he re-
eeiycd an order dismissing his snpe-
rlor and appointing him to fill the
vacancy. lie was young and mex
perienced, however, and in due time
he arose to the sublime height OF
utter contempt for the public. He
strutted about like q sultan and
laughed at the anxiety of the people
to know when they might expect to
get away from the village he seemed
to own. When knowledge WAS want.
ed, he was more ignorant than Gala
tea before Pygmalion got mashed on
her, and when no flood OF intellectual
effervescence was desired, knowledge
seemed to fall from his lips like bricks
from an overturned hol. lie seemed
to be master OF the situation, and all
the complaints OF indignant shippers
and the pleadinrs OF n long-sntferIng
people could not shake him from his
impregnab.e abode IN the heart oi the
management.
One day, Il gentleman who was
managing editor of a cattle ranch in
Colorado came to the station. He
made certain inquiries concerning the
running OF trains which the agent
was not prompt and oblis sing in an
swering, and the cow-general spoke
of him in terms that were not remark
able foe their freedom from inuendo.
The Young man replied in his custom
ariiy concise style, and in about
fraction OF second, the atmosphere
OF the room was saturated with smoke,
noise and an odor OF burned powder.
The next day, his perforated re-
mains were placed in black walnut
box aud hauled away to the village
barying ground, and there they now
lie, Joining their kindred dust and en-
joying the othe. privileges and com
pliments OF the season, while there is
u meek and lowly young man with
iour revoivers and II look of unntter-
able woe concealed about his person
looking alter the affairs OF the rail-
road III that village. The cow-com-
mander has been acquitted OF any
evil intent, and carries in his hip
pocket set OF handsomely engrossed
resolutions of coincidence and pro-
found respect.
WINE workmen were engaged OH
the new CITY Hall, Philadelphia, re-