The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-05-08
A Fool Friend.

t IVA ASAa
There is certainly grim and com
Portable Joy in going in search of 6
bitter and implacable foe. There Is
an exciting hunger in the eve
and in the heart as we follow
him by day and camp on his trail nj
night. Then when we meet and mix
INN up with the green sward, and
knock his front teeth loose and swell
uo his proud nose, and put an olive
green and cadet-blue dado over his
eye and a cigarette pocket on his
cheek, and erect little knobs all owe
nm IN places where nature did not
design to have them. we walk away
with the idea that we are taller and
wider and draw more water and exert
more influence than we did before.
ven when we ask the police Judge
now much it will be if we pay it in
advance, and we use up the funds in
that way when we had intended to in
vest them in ether channels, we can
not say that we regret it if the cause
seemed Just and the provocation great.
But what shall we do with the
warm, personal friend who sets up
nights to love us but hurts us in every
corner by his discretionp We cannot
whip him and throw him away. We
cannot get him shut up in an insane
asylum, asst was not designed for
idiots. 1t was made for people who
once had brains. 1t is a conundrum
winch more han one of us has given
up.
Ii the fool friend could have hisiaws
locked with a time-lock. and then be
Ted by an attendant through the vest.
pocket, we could then set the time-lock
to open after election or lust before
breakfast on the day of Judgment, or
at such other date as we desired. and
all would be well, but you cannot do
that. The jaw of the fool friend waps
on and on till the goose of the one ne
loves best on earth is cooked TO n rich
deep brown.
An enemy may say mean things of
you, but they lose force because people
know at once by his bitterness that
he Is your enemy; but he who knows
lnmost heart, who knows what
salary you receive and how much 1t
lacks OF maintaining you, how mean
you are in your family and how pleas
ant you are IN other peoples families
how you smile through the day and
through the night, how earnest
you are in your labors toward reform
IN everything except your " habits,
and a thousand other little glimpses
into your home life which none but a
friend may know, when he has no
oralns to balance his warm affection
tor you, think what ruin he can fur
nish You at carload rates.
In matters wholly political it is
really safer to have the endorsement
one who is wise and wicked, some
times, than the earnest but misguided
efforts of the man whose motives are
good but whose brains, in the hurry |
and confusion incident to creation,
were bestowed upon a large mouse.
colored mule.
When your friend foreets himself.
torgets his business, forgets his own
interests and his hopes Of bripht i'm
mortality beyond the grave, in order
go about and do you good, when he
goes without sleep and food and rest
NAT he may labor for you, and at
asst, when the campaign is drawing
a close and all at once YOU
upon the wreck and ruin that
the pathway of the hurricane.
Ind you follow it in great bitterness
or miles only at last TO find that # is
he work of your friend, what can Won
Can yon take Il club and mash his
'mlllng tace' Can you stab his warm
leart whose every throb through life
las been for YOU: Can YOU send
he swift-winged bullet CRASHING
trough the massive skull of your
rlend, thus tearing the cobwebs loose
rom his Uranium and ALLOWING the
to escape:o
All no. Better far to accept defeat
han to stain your hands with blood of
ne whose very devotion to you has
moved you under so deep that YOU
VII have to live on the leather ends of
our suspenders till relief can come.
L sometimes think that if the fool
Her would give q little more atten-
ION TO his business and would try a
ttle harder to earn his salary, there
'oald De less complaint and less dis
on the part of the intelli-
taxpayer. Now, for instance.
oppose that he should. prior to each
lection, hold Il kind OF competitive
of fools, to close with n
tournament of fool-shot at
llrty yards rise; or the fool could he
lade to pay each year for a license.
he revenue to go t" the government,
areial tools to pay u fifty dollar /,
cehse' chronic fools one hundred dol
rs, and hopeless fools two hundred
ollars per year. Id like to be instru-
entail IN getting such Il law passed,
al hen get out of tho country before /,
went into etfect.-BW Me in the 6
1qlcSt1e. !.
John Phnnix's FamDus Fipbt