davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
Advice to Young Married People.
The Culver for June.

Drive gently over the stones"
This piece of advice, which is fre-
quently given to inexperienced whips,
may, be respectfully suggested to the
newt married. There are stony
places on the road to happiness which,
If not carefully driven over, may up~
set the domestic coach. The first rock
ahead whicb should be marked dang
erous" is the first year of married life.
Here, especially, it is tie first step
that costs; as rule, the first year
either mars or makes a marriage.
During this period errors may be COM
mltted which will cast a shadow over
every year that follows.
On awakening suddenly from sleep
we feel put out and rather cross. May
not the young husband and wife ex~
perience feelings not entirely different
when they awake to reality from the
dreams OF courtship and the fascina-
ton OF the honeymoon? Everything
must once more be contemplated after
the ordinary manner of the world,
once more with subdued feelings
spoken of, considered, and settled.
For the first time, husband and wife
see each other as they actually are.
Each brings certain peculiarities into
the married state to which the other
has to grow accustomed. They have
now to live no longer for themselves,
but for each other, and the lesson is
not learned in moment. In all things
Indifferent the husband and wife must
be willing to yield, however new it
may be to to them, however different
from what they themselves thought,
Self must be sacrificed IN order there
by to gain the help of another beloved
existence. A lady once asked DR..
Johnson how in his dictionary he
came to define Oas5eg7a the knee of a
horse; he Immediately answered, "Ig-
norance, madam, pure ignorance. :"
This is the sample explanation of
many an accident that takes place at
the commencement of the matrimoui-
al journey The young couple have
not yet learned the dangerous places
OF the road, and as consequence, they
drive carelessly over them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
After the Honeymoon
The Culver.

Young married people are surprised
when they discover that the honey
moon is not entirely composed of
honey. Even the first year of mar
ried life is not always the happiest,
though it ought always to be very
happy. Living together happily is
an art which the most afectionate
couple cannot ordinarily learn in a
year. Each has to make some UNI
pleasant discoveries and to overcome
some fixed inclinations. True hap>
piness begins when these discoveries
have been made, and each is thor
oughly resolved to make the other as
happy as possible for all time.
Marriage is sometimes said to be the
door that leads deluded mortals back
to earth; but this need not and ought
not to be the case. Certainly love
may end with the honeymoon If peo-
pie marry to crafty a ''gunpowder
passion" or for the sake of mere OUT
ward beauty, which is like a glass
soon broken. Of course the enthusiasts
tic, tempestuous love Of counting days
will not as a rule survive marriage.
A married couple soon get to feel
towards each other very much as two
chums, at college, or two partners IN
business who are at the same time
old and we'll tried friends. Young
married people often think that those
who have been in the holy state OF
matrimony twenty or thirty years
longer than themselves are very prosy,
unromantic, and by no means perfect
examples of what married people
ought to be.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
Whom the Gar Has to Consult.
London Spectator

We do not, like some of our con-
temporanes, accuse the Russian
Government of habitual and deliberate
bad faith. Its statesmen are probably
no worse than half the diplomatists of
she continent, who are all, from
Prince Bismarck downward, possess
ed with the notion that guile is upon
occasion an allowable weapon. They
regard the making Of feints as part of
statecra't, just as it is part of strategy,
and have no more scruple about gain
ing time by assurances than about
preparing an annbuscade. But we do
think, as We have all along main
tanned, that the foreign Office at st.
Petersburg has not the full control
over the acts of Russian agents which
is enjoyed by other foreign Offices.
The Foreign Minister may give as
surances in the most perfect faith !;
but he does not appoint and can not
remove either the Governors General
Or the Comman0er-in chief, and if
they act for themselves, the Gar, who
alone can control all alike, may for
personal or dynastie, or even political
reasons, feel compelled to side with
them rather than his Foreign Minis
ter, who, again. when this has occur
red. makes the best of it. He may re-
sign, and according to western ideas
he should resign; but that is no5 the
way of despotic courts, where resig-
nation is regarded as implying an i'm
pertinent censuYe OF the sovereign.
IF u. de Giers meant resigning, he
would not resign, but fall sick. Eng
land can not conquer Russia, and can
never be in a position in which few
concessions would not induce her to
make peace. The Russian war party,
therefore, though not aided by the
people, had little to fear from the re-
sistanca Of their opinion. Il is the
army only, and the statesmen, that
the Gar has 10 consult or to convince.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
Our Cheap Postage.
Washington Special.

1t has been out in dispatches sent
from Washington that at the next
session of congress a determined eff
fort will be made to reduce letter
postage to one cent throughout the
United States. 1t is improbable that,
whatever effort may be made, the
rate will be decreased at the next SEES
sion. The fact is overlooked that after
the LIST of July pext the rates of pos<
tage ia the United States will be low
er than in any other country in the
world. After that time the rate will
be two cents for each ounce or frac-
ton thereof, instead Of half an ounce,
as at present. The rate in England is
one penny for each ounce, and as the
penny is the equivalent of two cents,
it might be said that the rates there
are as low as in this country, but
here letter can be sent across the
continent, a distance of three thous.
and miles, for the one rate, whereas
the territory in which the rates pre-
vail in Great Britain is limited in
comparison. It is true that the reduc-
ton of letter postage year or more
ago has greatly stimulated letter
writing, and the sales of postage
stamps have far exceeded the expec-
tations Of the most sanguine advocates
of the reduction, but the present rates
have not been tried long enough to
thoroughly test it and determine how
much farther it may be reduced, and
until the postal officials have had a
little more experience they will not
be likely to recommend any further
change.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
The TOOth-pick Business.

The caricaturist of the future may
perhaps represent the typical Yankee
no longer as whiting, but going
through the process called chewing
the quill" In nearly every hamlet,
town anS city of the country the con-
sumption of the tooth>plck, both phys
sically and commercially, has become
a national characteristic. Few, in
deed. are the hotels, restaurants, etc.,
where the invitation to "have a tooth
pick, is unknown; while no private
house is considered we'll ordered with
out them. It has even invaded the
dominion of literature, and we are
no longer supposed to chew the cud, :"
but the quill ''of reflection" For
this general result firm in New York
is largely responsible, as the introduc
ton of the wooden tooth pick was
made by it. Said a member of the
FIRM recently,
1--WE began 10 make wooden tooth
picks fifteen years ago, and while an
other company now shares the whole
sale trade, we were the sole manufact-
ures of the article for ten years. We
have whlte-wood pick made of pop
lar, and a hardwood kind made of
birch. The picks are all made in
Maine, the lumber Of that state sup
plying the material. Sometimes we
flavor picks, say with cinnamon or
with winter green"
"What does the trade amount to in
wooden picks9"
well I should say about twelve
thousand cases year, one thousand
of which is exported to Europe and
Mexico. A case contains one humid
red boxes, and each box contains
twenty-five hundred picks. So you
see, there's billions in it."
Has the business increased much %
about twenty five per cent in the
last three years. Orange-wood picks.
imported, are to be found IN some
clubs, and also a favored wood pick
from Japan. Quilts are wholly inn
ported. Russia and Sweden furnish
the material, and these countries,
with France and Germany, also
manufacture the article as we get it.
The work is done altogether by hand.
Peasant-folks, after their daily work
is done, sit down with sharp knife
and add to their pin money by cut
ting these quilts. This adds to their
price here, of course. Perhaps some
inventive American will construct a
machine some day that will turn
them ont rapidly and make them as
popular as the wooden picks now
seem to be-"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
GARNERED WITTICISKS.

At a recent performance of Erich
ard LII, at Sedalia, Mo-, When the
king exclaimed: "A horse horse
My kingdom for horsei" every man
IN the audience sang out: That's a
chestnut"
The hoop snake, which takes its
tail In its mouth and so trundles over
the ground, is, to say the least regard
less of dress and its appropriateness
His walking suit is composed of a
swallowtail
Some of Herr Won Bulow's English
admirers are getting so weary of his
mannerisms that they have not hest
tated to declare that man wants but
little Herr Bulow, nor wants that little
long.
Someone says: ga play must have
a motive" Most of them have. and
it seems to be to get people to pay
81. SO to see % cent show.
Yes" said Fogg, "I like to deal
with Snip. You can always depend
on what he says, you know. He told
me that last suit of clothes I bought
of him would wear like iron. And SO
1t did, exactly like iron. 1t looked as
rusty as the old boy in less than three
months"
beg your pardon, SIR" said the
gentleman usher at the theater. ''but
your seat is in the front row." ''How
do you know that9" asked the aston
ished baldheaded man, without
seeing my check?" "You forget, -" re-
piled the usher, ''that you have your
hat off. 2"
Noticed anything fresh to day?"
asked the dude as he strolled into the
editorial room. Nothing until YOU
dropped in" replied the editor, care>
lessly, and there was no more SAID.
A worthy old couple, the man mem
Der OF which is an invalid, have var
ious attentions from kind neighbors.
One day a well-meaning friend sent
in bottle of dislnfectant, which she
thought was needed, and calling later
to see how her proteges were getting
along she was informed that Mr.. =
had taken considerable of that medi-
cine, and it seemed to do him lots of
good.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
THE FAGRE PAssENGAIRE.

de was natty traveller,
With scads of ready cash,
a paid-up Pullman passenger,
And somewhat on the mash.
When he had come inside the car
And laid aside his grip,
He saw female passenger,
Who seemed to him quite flip.
He noticed that the girl was fair,
Although the light was dim,
And having wunk a wink at her.
She wunk wink at him.
'sHa, ha,'' he cried, II like this style,
It's something very green,
And by my halidom, / swear,
The fairest have seea.
So when the knight assayed word,
And asked if he might ride
a simple little mile or two
BY so much beauty's side.
She said, 'of course, and down he Hoped.
And talked and talked and talked,
Until the maiden fair and green.
Began to wish he'd walked.
And then he sought to take her hand
She kept it from his reach,
Which only seemed to stir him up
To further powers of speech,
At last he found the dainty thing,
And with it found its mate,
Clasped tenderly as If the two
Possessed common fate.
Great Scott! What's this?'' he yelled an
jumped.
There are some nervous mem,
"Oh, them's my handouts, sir, she said,
I'm going to the pen"
Merchant Traveller.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
VARIOUS MATTERS.

Manhattan Island, on which the
great city of New York is built, was
once sold for $22.
1t is said that in the works of
Shakespeare there are more than $50
quotations, illusions, references and
sentiments derived from the Script
ures.
-Over-done beef or mutton is, a
family doctor writes, quite as ind1-
gestible as hard boiled eggs; it should
be well cooked to be healthful, but
rather inclining to be UNDERGONE.
The collapse of the mining inter
est in Nevada has reduced the popu-
lation of the State to IL, 900. It is
thought, however, that the saltpeter
beds may induce fresh immigration.
President Gilman, of Johns Hop
kins University, has made plea to
the various colleges to consider plan
by which an inter collegiate system
of granting degrees may be adopted.
-Four new twelve-story apart
ment houses are to be erected on the
west side of Central Park, New York,
just above the American Museum of
Natural History, this year. That
section OF the city about the park will
have an enormous population by and
by.
The merchants of New Orleans
have subscribed the money ($15, 000)
required to- put in operation there the
new system Of quarantine and disin-
lection decided upon by the board of
health. The new SYSTEM provides for
ton.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
What Cr0WfCOt Said.
Chicago Herald.

In 1883 several of the Blackfeet
were taken i'll with typhoid fever, and
Crowfoot himself was down with it.
Believing he was about to die, he sent
for all his head men and held coun-
Gil with them. He said that there
were no longer any buffalo to hunt,
and that they were dependent upon
the white people. He counseled them
to live at peace with them, and never
attempt to fight them, as such an at
tempt would end In defeat for them,
they (the whites) were SO numerous.
They should always be loyal to their
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28

sive statement of the monthly wages
paid to farm laborers in all parts of
the country based upon what Mr..
Dodge, the statistician of the depart
ment, believes to be entirely trust
worthy data:
Eastern States SOS 80 Western States SEE %
Middle States. %. 10 California. 3S.75
Southern States. IA %
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28

dangerously i'll of fever, Kentil
Requa, when she heard of it. offered
hen self as his nurse. Her resentment
had died away, and another feeling
had taken its place; sweet, tender
feeling that creeps into our hearts at
some time or other during our lives,
and which, after Captain Gotham
sold his commission and announced
his intention of staying on this side of
the water, led Kentil Requa to Become
Kentil Cobham.-Hatchet.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28
This talk about cholera coming is

This talk about cholera coming is
all rubbish, sir, all rubbish, and it
doesn't scare me a cents worth, y
snarled the first stranger. ''Nor me,
either" reioined the second stranger,
''and it gives me pleasure to meet a
gentleman whose views coincide so
nearly with my own" The strangers
exchanged cards. The card received
by the first stranger was inscribed ::
"Epitaph Graves, Undertaken. Re
fers to leading families" The card
received By the second stranger read !:
'Martingale Drag. The Elite Livery
Stables. Special facilities for fune-
rails.
Mrs. William A. Fisher of Balti-
more is worth a solid 100000.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-28

The average strength of the Euro~
pean troops in India IN 1883 was S.
525, among whom the death rate was
out 10. IS per 1000. The native army
showed an average strength of 1f4,-
$50, with death rate of 1431. The
most fatal diseases for the Indian
troops were those of the respiratory
organs,
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-08-07
We Won't Stand 1t.

If it be true, as the Washington cores
pondent of the New York Herald alleges,
that the avowed reason for ths rejection of
Minister Kelley by the Austrian government
is that Mrs. Kelley is Jewess, that gov
eminent has made it impossible for the
American people to respect the refusal Of
Austria to receive our representative
Such reason if given in sincerity is not a
sufficient one and, if made preteXt for
some other objection, ii is still worse. We
can easily believe that " Secretary Bayard
has denounced it, as it deserves and that
when Congress asks for the publication of
the correspondence it will be seen that the
Anstrians play Il very discreditable part in
it, and that Secretary Bayard has temper
ately and with proper dignity, but with
proper vigor also, resented and denounced
the narrow-minded bigotry of the Austrian
foreign oi1ice.'
II need not be said that such an incident
would break off our diplomatic relations
wthAustria. Kelley may bean Objectionable
person; and country may have the right
to decline to receive a minister for
reasons which it may not deem fit
to express. But when it furnishes reason
that is in itself IN insult to our religious
tolerance, and one that is linlsy and false,
it becomes the United States to resent it
with dignity and iirmness.
This administration has backbone.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-08-07

and that they are the exponents OF no fac
tion Or special party interest.
1t happens that a number of gentlemen,
here and there, who started out to dispense
the patronage of the administration, with
out consultation with it, found themselves
obstructed. They have ever since been
falsely accusing somebody else of doing
just what they tried and failed to do.
1t happens that the very persons who are
most howled at for " running the admins.
tration ;" and " controlling the patronage,
are the identical persons who have asked
least and have been the least oflicious
II the administration has been inclined t.
consult them it is because it has found thei
advice well considered and unselfish.
1t happens that the appointments o
many excellent Democrats upon whom tn
administration has bestowed its favor, ar
only Objectionable because this or tina
wouldbe purveyor of patronage has nc
been able to make the appointee feel unde
obligations to him for his place.
This happens in Pennsylvania as well Q
in Louisiana.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-08-07

a horses life, with moderate care and good
usage is protracted to twenty-five, thirty-five
or forty years. a gentleman at Dulwich,
near London, had three monuments of three
horses who severally died in his possession
at the age of thirty-five, thirty-seveli, and
thirty-nine years Tho oldest, it is to be re-
marked, was in carriage, the very day he
died, strong and vigorous, but he was car
ried ofi in a few hours by spasmodic collie, to
which he was subject. At Chesham, in
Buckinghamshire, there was a horse thirty
six years old which exhibited no symptoms
of debility nor any external signs of age ex-
cept being nearly covered with warts 1t
was remarkable with regard TO this four
footed Nestor that when an unusually hard
days work was required he was chosen
as never falling in what was expected ofhim.
A horse named Wonder formerly belonging
to the riding school at Woolwich, may be
quoted as living to forty years. Mr.. Gully,
in his Observations on LiUe SOck, mentions
one ne knew which lived to forty-seven years
having during all that time ball in his neck
received in the battle of Preston Pans, in the
rebellion of l7l5, which was extracted at his
death in 1853 thus, judging him to be four
years old at the time he received the wound,
(and 1t was probable he was more he must
at his death have been forty-seven. But even
these venerables were mere babies to the
barge horse of the Mersey and Irwell navi-
cation, which was we'll known to have been
in his sixty-second year when he died.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-08-07
AsALYATIOs ARMY ROMANCE.

Lieutenant Marshall Declines Mt the Last Mo-
ment to be Bride.
Abram Il. Butterworth is a notary public,
justice of the peace and an ex-coroner at
Paterson, n. j. He Is about sixty-five years
of age. lie il also an enthusiastic member of
the Salvation Army. Another member of
the army was Lieutenant Nellie Marshall,
who is about thirty-fve years old. Mr.. But
terworth admired the lieutenant greatly, and
when she left Paterson to take command at
Manchester, n. H., he began a correspond
ence which ended in formal offer of mar
riage In response came the following tele-
gram
MAScHEsTR, N. II. July 25 1885.
To a. T.. Butterworth, Notary Public and Jus
tice of the Peace, Paterson, n j
My answer-Yes.
LIEUT. MARSHALL.
Happy Mr.. Butterworth showed the dis.
patch at the barracks and i'm other places and
received the congratulations of his friends
everywhere. Arrangements were made for
a Salvation Army wedding, and the time was
fixed Tor Tuesday evening and the place
selected Addy's Free Speech hall, in Water
street, Paterson. Captain Aver, the "Sing-
ing Pilgrim" a converted dude and other
| attractions were invited. Mr.. Butterworth
went to Manchester and brought his bride
| and numerous trunks TO Paterson. He then
showed her the rooms he expected her Ia
make cheerful for him by her presence and
| asked her TO pray TO the Lord TO give them
| the proper guidance.
Is this where we are TO liver inquired
| Miss Marshall, and then she said tlat she had
| tried to pray, but had not succeeded.
An immense throng had assembled al
| Addy's hall on Tuesday night at nine
| o'clock, the time fixed for tying the nuptial
knot Free or cheap shows always attrac
| big crowd in Paterson, and when 1t costs
| only ten cents to see a live justice OF thu
| peace and ex-coroner married to lieutenan
| in the army the population of Paterson re
sponded in large numbers AS the hands o
the clock showed it was after nine o'clocl
the audience began TO suspect that there wa
something wrong. The pulpit bad beeI
arranged for a wedding, but there were II
| further indications that two persons were 3
be made one. Finally Lieutenant Marshal
came on the platform and made a little speecl
| as follows -
az am sorry, my friends to disappont you
| but cannot take this step. / feel that tb
Lord leads me in another direction"
Then skQ withdrew, and in a short tim
-1tjSYs ON her way 70 rcSItpe command OF he
forces in New Hampshire The andienc
| were disguised and declined to 10 console
| by an offer to return the dimes collected I
the door. Some declined TO receive the pro
fered money, but threatened to sue for dan
| ages for violation of contract
| Mr.. Butterworth was about next day, bu
looked extremaly sorrowful. iHe said th;
he had prayed frequently, but that for som
reason unknown to him he did not get a n
sponse from the Lord. He feared that Sata
was at work, and when Nellie told him thu
she could not pray he knew that the Ey
One was at work. Nellie, he said, decline
TO give any explanation OF her conduct