Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-05-09
SELECTIONS.
THE SCH00LMISTRESs OF SILVER
GULCH.

The little town of Silver Gulch was
astir. A crowd of men were gath
cred in front of Major Haslett's in.
ternal refreshment saloon, gazing at
a poster stuck up on one of the shut
tiers. The thin, lanky man reading
the notice aloud for the editication
of the less gifted portion OF the crowd
is the editor and proprietor of the
only newspaper in the town, the
Stluer Gully Bantam, and the poster
in question is a sample of his skill in
the printing line:
"NOTICE.-The citizens of Silver
Gully will be on hand tomorrow at
2 T. M. to meet the San Francisco
stage, and give hearty welcome to
our new schoOl-mistress.
GEORGE V. HAsLETT, MAYOR.
"B. S.-White Shirts.r
Ten minutes after the poster was
read there was corner in white
shirts. Old LEWIS stock of seven,
which had been in his store ever
since the town came into existence,
realized for their owner about 1000
per cent. profit. The unfortunates
who fonnd themselves without the
coveted shirts were downcast and
disconsolate, but genius finally
found way out of the difficulty.
A roll of muslin was cut up into
false shirt fronts, which were intend
ed to be tucked under the vest and
pinned to paper collar. Noontime
found the Gullyites out in full force
arrayed in their finest. The Mayor
soon emerged from his home, and
the way he strutted around, all re-
Splendent III a full dress suit and a
shiny high hat, would have caused a
peacock to die with modification at
being outshone. The low-cut vest
revealed a " sparkle " big as wal.
nut, and emitting such brilliant rays
that one would almost feel inclined
to believe the owners assertion that
he didn't need any light in his
house at night time
1t was proud moment for the
first citizen of the town when he
mounted soap box and delivered
himselfof speech, the preparation
OF which had caused him a sleepless
night: . ~
"Fe | ow citizens: eVeni, vidi,
vlcl-we came, we saw, we conquer
ed. We came to this now blooming
paradise when it was nothing but a
rocky waste. We stuck to it and
struck rock, and then we spread like
a grease spot on our Sunday pants.
Soon we was big enough to support
a first-class paper, and now have
concluded that we kin support a
school teacher to, make. scholars of
our young uns. Now, when I intro
duce you fellows you must bow and
take your hat of, like this" and
suiting his actions to his words he
removed his bead-covering, and in
attempting to make bow he threw
his center of gravity out of line, and,
as natural consequence, the soap
box tilted and landed the flowery
orator all in heap on the ground.
The Mayor did not let this mishap
annoy him, and soon had them scrap
ing and bowling in a manner that
would have delighted the heart of a
French dancing-master.
Way down the road a cloud of
dust was arising, growing larger and
larger, until finally from it's midst
the stagecoach burst in view. The
horses were galloping like mad, and
instead of the brawny form of Tom,
the driver, holding the lines, there
stood a girl, her feet firmly braced
against the footboard, lying back
with all her strength on her reins.
The trained leaders slackened their
speed as they approached their usual
stopping place and stopped still.
AS soon as the coach came to a
standstill the girlish form dropped
back in a faint. A dozen men sprang
to the coach-top and a CHASTITY sight
they saw. There lay Tom, the
driver, with a terrible hole in his
chest, from which the blood poured
" b each heart-throb. Tender
hands lowered the motionless form
to the ground, where ready arms re.
ceived him.
! The Mayors house was turned in