Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-01-03
THE CLGAK.ROOM fsaRlruE.
Gossip OF the Capitol Corridors.

! When your Senator or Representative seeks the
Seclusion which the cloak room grants he usually
! lights cigar, unDuttons his coat, throws himself
or sofa or in one chair with his feet on another
| relaxes himself generally, and Is not half bad
fellow. Then he talks with freedom and vivacity
and, secure from the observation OF the public IL
HE STAR man is not about. he shows his best land,
a!as sometimes his worst side. Then he ex-
presses his views OF men and things with candor
i and caustic calnneSs.
| He may congratulate brother statesman on the
foor in fu view OF the galleries, on the power and
grandeur OF his just finished speech, and mean it,
TOO; but when he gets the orator, flushed with his
triumphant effort in the CLOAK room, Satan enters
| into him and he chaffs him most uumerctfully
/ pointing out with keen sarcasm the weak places,
telling him that this Is boInbast that an appe,I TO
/ the galleries, the other the catering OF a dcma-
goSus to the peculiar preudices OF the people OF his
state or district. &C., &c. he Will ask him il he
really believes all that; whether he don't know
down deep In his soul, that his supposed argument
is pure sophistry, and whether he really has de-
ceived himself into believing that he can dec Give
anyone else into believing anything that he has
said? And soon the insufferabe tease is Joined by
ore even worse than himself and then another and
another. until at last the victim Is tornented by
circle OF grinning friends, and smokes his cigar
with what composure he may, While they prod and
guy him
1t vent 30 TO fight back! Happy the man who
can answer soodhumorcdly with raillery; for if he
once shows that his skin is tender farewell 20 his
peace OF mind as long as lie remains in Congress
The man who is the most punctilous III the formal
etiquette OF debate, and who would not for III a
world iinpugn Or question the motive OF a fellow
ineper on the floor is precisely the reverse OF all
thai when he gets his colleague into the cloak
iooll There nothing is sacred; ana the newcomer
is paralyzed early in his career b. the revelation of
ms own secret ambltion--the which he has per-
maps preserved from even the wife of his BOSOM
and has BATTERED himself that no ono can suspect
he dare not be patriotic, Or economical in voting
Ter appropriations, or careful in any way In the
discharge Of his duties, without having it charged
'a1L ne Is actuated by an ambition that is purely
selfish.
mo one can entertain higher appreciation Of
the lofty seGse OF honor which the honorable Senc-
TOR brings to the conscientious discharge OF Inc
patriotic duties which devolve upon him here than
L DO Far be il from me to tmpute to him anything
OUT the purest motives In the course OF action
which hts best judgment has led him to pursue
Thus, the floor low is it ten minutes later in
the cloak room? "Elank, have cigar? Sit down
mere and tell THE STAR you really believe all that
huInbug you were just spouting. You know you
DON'T You're afraid OF the editor OF the O,sonosh
hosoo, and your trimming your sails to catch his
support" Its wonderful how week-kneed some
or these great statesmen get when they're In their
sixth year, isn't it?' chimes in another "Oh
wen! blanks all right--hls head is Level. He's
got to have the support OF the railroad ring or he
can't come pack. And we want him back-we'ye
got 70 have hirn--we can't AFFORD the loss OF so
good poker p,aysI, sNo indeed; and then the
In the gallery" "1hat's all right Blank Don't
let em worry you. OF course we would much pre-
Ter IL II you could come here handed and per-
l"cIy Independent like the rest of u.s. but IL that's
Impossible II We must take you all bcSmirched
with all manner OF corruption and 1obbery or not
have you at ali, why We'll have to overlook the
stains, and content ourselves with setting you q
good example while you are here" By the way,
pose that Speech W Ho sq ir
lnt presidency IEe people will see through your
little game1its too Jransparent!' "Well,' growls
Blank, III couldn't make q better showing than
you did at Chicago last summer I'd 20 hang my
self. You got three votes from your own state,
a a. Eous know You didn't get any outside of
were three whisky guagers whose appointments
ne secured You had him there, Blank. l never
knew man SO quick TO make a good point
when you're not making speech on the floor.
How in the world do you manage to leave all the
points out when you speaker "Iies afraid 10 mt 'em
In. Why that man BLANK IS afraid to call his soul
his own. You know he has been bowling fur the
regulation Of freight charges On Interstate com
he's scared to death for fear the bill viii come over
from the housef he votes for it the railroads Will
defeat hiuf he don't vote for it, the people won't
nave MIN. and Ting-g-g-g goes the electric
bell "Ayes and Noes!' sGreat Cesar has bus
enDerry GOT through alreadyg Why he has oNly
talked an hour and a-half! 1t took him three
hours to make that speech last session" "Oh. hes
cutting it downl I took him tive hours two years
ago" "Then there's hope for our grand children"
ohA NAOs oA ~ oaS Va SAC CtOth-ESVul W VStc.
But If they have fun In the cloak-room they are
also very serious there at times Men will sneak
there OF topics OF public interest with much more
freedom than they dare to On the floor. And the
'Habitue" thinks it Just well to give some OF
these open-hearted utterances once in O while.
They are very seldom parliamentary; but they are
always pungent, as the late Mr.. IngersoiI once
ruled 20 TO q members remarks In the House. And
they are frequently much better calculated TO con-
serve the respect OF the public than the speeches
are.
As rule the man whose honesty and patriotism
are really esteemed the highest by his colleagues is
the one to whom they mischievously attribute the
most selfish motives. Men who are actually under
suspicion are seldom chafed 1t is not uncommon
TO hear MCrrll graveIy accused OF being rabid
rrpe-trader, or Eumunds charged with an insane
eagerness to eonciiiate the newspapers by giving
away the proceedings OF executive sessions.
The fun is not all confined to the cloak-rooms.
The monotony OF routine proceedings has nearly
always an under-current OF jolly pranks. Especi-
ally iS this the case in the Senate where Garland
Is an incorrigtole mischief maker. He has q way,
when any one OF the Senators mounts his particti-
lar hobby, of deSpatching the pages ell over the
chamber 10 inquire OF other Senators whether they
have ever heard any such ideas put forth before
brother Buster is making? Or, II he observes that
senator a. is particularly absorbed he will take
calendar, and marking some extremely untyuport-
ant bill or resolution In AS charge viii send 1t to
him with message urging him to, by all means.
get II up. and press II to passage at once He has
a way, TOO, OF preparing ludicr0us conundrums
which he seals up In formidable envelopes in such
way that NO one can tell who they come from
Then he VIII have a dOOr-keeper bring them in
with great appearance OF hurry and Importance
10 senators who at the moment are particularly
engaged and the door-keepers are Instructed to see
10 that the envelopes are at once opened and the
matter attended to without delay.
Butler, Of South Carolina, Is anothe. mad wap in
the Senate, and he and Garland are constantly
playing jokes, more or less outrageous on each
other. Not long ego, as THE STAR learns Garland
hit Butler pretty hard-that is to say he got very
good one on him; md Butler "laid rOro the Senator
from Arkansas. Knowing Garlend's foDdness for
candy he procured some caramels and also some
cubes OF brown soap, which. when wrapped In thin
tissue paper precisely reSembied, to the eve the
caraInelS. Butter knew that II he tried 10 put the
cubes OF soap OIL on Garland ne would fail. as the
concerned SO voorhees, OF Indiana who sits next
TO Garland, was chosen for the confederatp said
Butler TO voorhees,, "Here are two genuine cara
mels--these others are cubes or soap. Go 70 your
seat lay the soap cubes on your desk, eat the gen
ul'Ie caramels, put your trust In Providence and
say nothing" voorhees, did as he was told Car
land observed The cubes on the desk, and saw that
voorhees, was eating something with an evident
relish. "Heilo.' said Garland: ''whaL are you eat
ing "I've got cold, and I'm eating some can
papers In his hands Garland looked at the coun-
terfeitS Wistfully for moment-"Hum," he said
1lnaly as he picked one up, ave got something OF
cold myself and he popped the piece OF soap Into
his mouth. There was crunchng OF his Jaws
and-he saw that he was caught. Voorhees, watched
him out OF the tail Of his eye, as did a dozen
others OF the old boys sitting around. Garland
knew ne was under ire; but he was determined not