Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-03-08
BROTHER GARDNER
Introduces the Hon. Jerusalem sno'-
well, Of Virginia,
Known in the Shenandoah Valley as"'0e
Giant of the opequaw." Who Delivers
to the Lime Kiln Club His Famous
Lecture Entitled: "fhe Right
Side Of Human Nature"
plrra Fire. Pres.

Detrea FIRE. Pres.
p,o,be, Gardner announced at the open
mo Of the meeting that he took Plsas To-.
announcing the presence OF the nor" -.
salem Shotwel, of Virginia: ne ".n-
able gentleman was known IN tIe o"@n
Soah Valley as "the Giant OF the opeqas
ard he frequently had invitetions 70 ae"
h;s celebrated lecture in fifteen dine.eo,
rlsces AT once His repertoire comprlsea
iwsrtv.e;pht different lectures on as msny
a;Fs,snt subjects, and the one selected ior
SaIrsry in the presence of the Lime.hun
CInh xas entitled: "The Right Side OF
Human Nature" During the delivery OF
The lecture, members were requested 10 pay
go, attention tn the discourse, and Eide,
Too,s was given q stool with only Two h'n9
less 70 nreyent him from falling asleep ana
rolling against the stove.
The Lecturer.
As the honorable gentleman was usherea
into the hall there was a general ouzI ..
admiration. 1t was evident at ine hfs'
glance that be was a man no notseI!
would light on by mistake TOR q sea sue
hotel. His weight seems to DE ABOUT 10
nopnds. his height q little under SIX ieet'
md on the white vest which shielded his
manly bosom was q constable's silver star.
His coat fitted him to precision. aud the
tails were modestly decorated with rows oil
h,ass buttons. Giveadam Jones sized hun
nm "a a hard man in o rough and tumble,
| and Waydovn Bebee whispered to himself
hat the Hon. Jerusalem Shotwell was ca
nable of composing a poem to STIR the heart
Of every man, m and child In tue ianu'
He Opens.
"FeiIer mortals," said the lecturer, as he
GUIDED down O glass of water and auaous
| r. looked st the three shirt-buttoms IN the
lotion Of the glass, dis human natur OF
ours am a strange muddle. We kin feel 90
sentiment of hate, love, indifference, sena-
ment, admirsshuu, fear, reverence an aus
| gust in one short day. We attain de high
est eminence, an We sink to the lowest
| slums. We reverence one man an hate an.
other. We feel hilarious one hour an shed
| ears Of sorrow the next. Stranger dan all
| lie winds dat blow-more valuable dan any
weather furnished by natur-bold an tea',
iess-wesk an vascilatin'-human natur
can be praised an condemned in de same
breat.
II u a. CtuoFs
"If we studied de natur' Of man as clusly
~ we dat of a boss we would not tread on
his co ms so often. Man sm as pliable as
lasses If you take him right. II you take
aim wrong he an as brittle as glass an as
hard as stun. Dat am q matter we seldom
stop TO consider. We take him as pleases
us-uot TO please him. Our ideah is dat he
INNS mt nm wild our style-not to bring US
70 his. l has seen dozens Of men who war
Jon all right split BY contact wild de world.
Nobody took EN- jist right, an dey would
mt study to take odder men right.
The Right Side.
Some men kin be bossed-some has to
be coaxed. Some am materially mulish-
some plastic-some frew dier strength. A
modest man an q proud, vain man mus be
handled on ~teetotally different principles.
re make enemies and meet wild needless
rebuffs an ~refusals bekase we fail to con-
slider desc troofs. II our boss has q habit of
bitin' we lay awake nights to devise some
remedy fur it. If our naybnr am a material
kicker we ridicule his grievances an
burlesque his tribulashums. If our boss
an too high.strung to take de whip we are
xeeriul TO keep de lash away from him. If
our psybur am too proud-spirited to borrer
our wbeelbarrer an lend US his w~ashbos'd
Se declar' him beneath our notls an wash
rur hands of de hull family.
Study a Nan.
at am de easiest thing in de world to
moke a friend. Fust, locate your man.
second, size him up If lie am q vain,
pround man praise his personal appearance,
his home-his wife, chilren an speeches.
No man am 60 poo an lowly dat his
words Of praise won't SCUM sweet to an
egotist.
"If be am a cross, surly, out O sorts chap,
feelin' sartin in his OWE mind dat de world
wasn't built on correct principles, dosn' try
TO argy wild him to convince him dat dis
.irth am all o. X. from cellar to garnet. On
lie contrary side in wild him. Growl at de
world, abuse mankind an tell him how
sorry you am dat he wasn't on han to man.
age things about 200 vary B. C. 1t will
he like doin' up q sore toe in q creased rag.
When you meet a man who am sort o
sneakin' frew life on de quiet-neboer heard
of outside Of his own nayburhood-modest,
unassumin', an only wantin' to be let alone,
iced him gum.drops. Tell him you have
heard his name menshuned as candidate fur
Alderman. Ask him what var it was when
ne run for de Legislachur. Invuar when
mis- next book of poems am to be published.
Ak him if he am de Smith who invented
lie comet. He will cringe and vince, but
he will 60 home an think it ober an be
pour friend for life.
Oar am cranks TO be humored. Oar
,a 1n,xn:., a. H. ,so,l H.. -
circlin' round Us day by day a chain OF
men an woman who doan' know beans
rom broomsticks, but who mus be compli.
mented on DER exquisite tastes an high or
der of intelleck.
Make Friends.
"As de time allotted TO me has bout ex.
pired, let me say to you, in closin' dis dis.
course, dat de man who makes enemies
am no reader OF human natur. 1t
am jist as easy 10 make ten
good friends as one enemy. Abuse no
mans pollytics. Slur no mans religion
Hold no arguments wild a man who has been
soured by misiortunes. As fur women-
treat all alike by praisin' all. Returniu'
you my capacious thanks fur de e~mblemati-
cal Indifference you have exhibited through
out the delivery Of this celebrated lecture, /
draw myself to 8 close"
It Passed.
The honorable gentleman retired from
hall amidst thunderous applause, during
which Judge Cavader seized the opportunity
TO bestow Q kick Of no gentle nature upon
the south end of his hated rival, Prof. Pep
permint Welkof.
Trustee Pullback secured the floor TO
move that q large and we!l-developed vote
Of thanks be rendered the Hon. Jerusalem
Shotwell in addition to any pecuniary rec
ompense.
The Rev. Penstock opposed the motion.