Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-16
Don't daow what the tlpple is, heyT

Don't dlJw what the uppIe ls, neg Z
said the customer.
"Nav," replied the bartender.
ut holds thirteen different Ingredients
I aud every Oae of ennis n hummer. Daniel
Webster invented it, and Cap Fowlers
got the prescription today. There
Jamaics rum in it. Gimme some
jamaica
'sure." said the bartender, and sat I'D
the bottle. The young man mixed the
rum with his pony OF brandy, llt cigar,
and strolled away BY and by he came
~ another place that suited him and went
in. He approached the counter with less
confidence than he had exhibited earlier
in the evening.
"Webster punch, please he ordered.
The bartender looked at him. Then pc
walked to another bartender and whlsp-
cred with him. Then both oartendefs
went TO the proprietor and consulted win
him. The one TO whom the customer gave
the order came back.
,eTbe man that makes our Webster
punches is OF tonight te said.
"SOrry."
"The man that makes them is of. IS
heS" said the young man, little NOT
$50 are you! Way OIL ! see at once.
that YOU don't know that thirteen diner-
ent kinds Otyery sudden compounds enter
into the distillatiOn OF Webster punch,
deficient that you don't know that Daniel
Webster was the original decocter OF the
drink and always took 1t when he drank
ANYTHING. The recipe is still eXtant
young man, but you don't know it. / he
lieve it calls for a little old Burgundy.
Gimme sOme."
The old Burgundy was sent to mingle
with the Jamaica and the brandy. The
persistent seeker after a Webster punch
departed. Later on he turned up at an
other sample room. There was much
color i'm his face, and a slight suspicion
Of thickness TO his tongue. He had eYid-
emily been searching for his favOrite beV-
erage at many places in the interval, and
was apparently happy.
"H'iov he said. "Sess up We'stor
punchl You beard me! A Webster
punch"
The bartender, resting his hands on
the counter and bending over as If to
catch better what the customer ordered,
said:
"Wa6 forrp said the young man hold
ing on to the bar,
II don't know what you ordered" re-
piled the bartender.
Course you don'tw exclaimed the GUS
toner, setting his hat back on his head.
WEBSTER punch's got more drinks int N
there's eggs in dozen. Takes sixteen
kinds liquor to make one, mine miXin'
one for myself. ,Fad'leven ,grezhece, N
nOw'll put in twelf. 'Swisky in WEBSTER
punch. Gimme some whisky"
The twelfth ingredient was mixed in.
"Pll show'In wah WEBSTER punch isl"
he said, as he wObbled out. Not long after
that he came hurriedly and unste adily
through the door OF an uptown Broad
way hotel. He was not apparently feel
ing as good as ne had. He stood for a mo-
ment with his hand on his chin, and
shutting one eye, looked about. Then he
made his way carefully to the bar, and
said, in confidential but mumbled
tones:
West punch"
Hump said the bartender, starting
back.
''Naw, not huh, bu' West punch?"
said the customer, getting focus on the
man behind the bar by closing one eve.
"D'no wah West putch-hic-We'st
putch sW
Never heard of it, replica the man be-
hind the bar.
s'Sla'lord in - asked the young man.
"The landlordw said the bartender,
/ smiling all over his face. 81 don't
know"
After another pause the customer
asked:
'Whez la'IordP'
81 said don't know" replied the man
behind the bar.
"House's got a ls'lord, ain'Pt?' in
CURED the young man, as if the fact that
it might not have one had suddenly Oc-
CURED to him.
"Of course it has," said the pleasant
man behind the bar.
''Whez ZyY' said the inquirer.
The bartender didn't reply, and by and
by the customer said:
Say. Petty, wah this country vans,
in vans bad, is less barte'rs'n more
West putch. Say. Pe-hlc-Pety, Wen
it tace Teller two hours IN a three-mile
walk Z find one West putch, N then g
got Z mix itself, zur screw loose some'z,
surezh live. West putch tace sirteen
balls t'r ev'ry one. 1 goss farz-hic-
| farz twelf, IN ere l am. 'Slrteence I'll be
4 champagne, mile have u now. Gimme
/ sma' boil"
/ But when the young man had mixed
! the last ingredient he was not exactly
/ satisfied yet, ard went out saying:
"IgOt to De less barte're IN more West
/ putch in this curry, or the curTy-hic-
the curry can't be saved"