Milford chronicle. [volume] (Milford, Del.) 1878-1974, 1885-10-23
THE DEACON'S DINNER.

The good housewives of the neigh
borhood often said that Mrs. Smart
ought to be the happiest woman in the
world.
such a nice house as she lives in r
said Miss Bryce, who, poor SOUL
taught the district school, and "board-
ed around" like the scape-g goat in the
Scripture wildernesses
"such a pious man as the dear dea-
con is r. added Mrs. Hopkins, whose
better-half had once been sea-cap-
tain, and was still apt to be profane
by fits and starts, when the cattle got
into the clover-neld, and the midnight
weasel marauded on his hen-coops and
turkey-roosts.
with a store carpet on the best
room floor" put in Mrs. Jones. land a
weekly newspaper, and white sugar in
Ter tea every day of her life, and a
horse and wagon to take her to meet
in Sundaysl"
Such was the opinion of society as
represented in Glen Hollow. Perhaps
Mrs. Deacon Smart a0Gs a happy
woman. But we are told, on the very
best authority, that "the heart know
eth its own bitterness"
Mrs. Smart was washing up her
best china, one morning, preparatory
to giving a grand tea-party, and her
cousin. Ella Dale, was helping her,
when the deacon put his shining bald
head in at the door.
'My DEAR" said he, "here is a paper
of pins for you"
Mrs. Smart nearly dropped gilt
edged saucer, in her CONSERVATION.
"More pinsI" said she.
eyes. my DEAR" said the deacon,
unctuously. "Plns are always useful."
ooh. yes. pins" said Mrs. Smart
giving her glass-towel toss as she
wiped the last globule of moisture
from a goblet. "But not rows of rus
ty wire! do say for it, Ebenezer-"
I'm going to Glen Depot, my dear,
the deacon somewhat hurriedly inter
rupted, at this juncture; "and perhaps
/ shan't be home until enc o'clock"
He withdrew, and Mrs. Smart turn
I'd to Ella Dale with half laugh.
"There, my DEAR" said she. throw
ing down the faded green roll of pin
paper on the dresser, "there you be
hold the secret of my domestic unhap-
,iness, the skeleton in my closet !"
Ella opened her round hazel eyes
cry wide.
II can't think what you mean,
Juliana," said she. "You unhappy
and the dear deacon such truly good
n mp
"That's the trouble" said Mrs.
Smart; she's too good"
81 don't see how that can be posi-
bl !" protested Ella more perplexet
than ever.
"And it's all at my expense" said
Mrs. Smart, dolefully. ado you SCI
that paper of pins?"
"Why, of course see it." said Ella
"Well, Mr. Smart has bought tha
paper of pins of a peddler at the door,
aid Mrs. Smart. 'Peddlers Away
come here. This house is a Mecca t.
tho race of peddIers. They know tina
Mr.. Smart always buys of them-he'
too good-hearted to say no; or rather
let us speak the truth and shame hin
who shall be nameless between us-h
is too indolent to resist their importu
mites"
Ella burst out laughing.
'But what a very insignificant
l:ttIe trial r. said she.
ooh, yes, 1 dare sayI" said Mrs
Smart 1.-THE sting of hornet ism
o very terrible in itself, but when
whole swarm is let loose upon yor
what then?"
"a swarm ?" repeated innocent Ell'
"AIy DEAR" said Mrs. Smart, lower
ing her voice to confidential whisper
up stairs in my bedroom closet
have eighteen papers of just sue
cheap pins-utterly useless for any
thing but to bend themselves up dout
e when you try to put them throug
single thickness Of calico, and to d.
rive you of your temper just whe
YOU need it most; six cards of porc'
ain buttons-an article which ] nec'
use; nine packages Of stove-blackinl
thirteen bottles of sewing-machine OF
Eve papers of rusty needles; a doze
aairs Of shoe-strings; and eight rol
Of tape, which is an insult to one
common sensel If 1 could reconcile
20 my conscience, I'd fling the who
collection into the FIRE; but vi
brought up to ecOnomize What .
van think, Ella2 Would II be sin
anaIhllato al thsss pitfalls % p
squaasmiiyr