Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1885-01-08

MTCH-MARRIED' MEN,
MODERN BLUE B e ARDS AND
THEIR INAMORATAS.

II
THEIR INAMORATAS.
Revelations of the Real Lives of Three |
Hwhfte-Livered" Husbands Under
the Conveniently Fictitious Cogno-
mems of Christopher Glare, Robert
Rhfneheart and Aunanias Axher.
BY EDWARD PAYsoN HALL.
For the Sentinel.
There is an indefnable dread, an
snstinative feeling of awe, III which
most people helplessly and honestly
hold familiar dealers with death, such
as sections, undertakers, hangmen, and,
last hut not least, men who have bur
led large lot of wives. The unearth-
ly chill, the overpoweringly apprehen-
sive sensation, which never fails TO
strike the vulnerable heart of the vul-
gar herd on the approach of one OF
these raw-head-and-bl bloody bones" ar
istocrats, is next of kin to the univer-
sal lev veneration bestowed upon
ghosts themselves. And yet there are
women to be found who can step will
incly into the dead wife's shoes-yea,
even if that recently deceased female
was the fifth, sixth, seventh or eighth
spouse whom her much-married lord
had consigned to the tomb-ready to
exchange the celibate OF freedom Tor
the fetters of Venus, and, forsooth, to
give him the patent for as many mar
ried lives as cat is accredited to have
separate and indestructable terms OF
vital existance, viz, nine
The popular superstition that such
men, by being "fearfully and wonder
fully made" with .'white liver" are
fatal to all partners, counts not tor
much in the premarital calculations
of the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth or
ninth victim" upon the bridal altar.
She reasons with herself, in her maid
,enly way, that, notwithstanding from
four to eight reprisals from Cupid are
rather more than his 'share, still,
such things have been and will con-
tinue to be in this strange world-that
she was made both to be married and
to be buried; and so, adzooks, was he
but who knows the future well enough
to saw she may not both marry and
bury hims She may be young and
pretty and poor, and he may be old
and ugly and rich but did Esther
refuse to become queen to King Ahas
uerus because these slight disparltles
existed? And then what blessing
and savior to her oppressed people
did that manageable lass thereafter
become? And if the poor man has
children, rs fruits of his former con
nubial alliances, why may not she be
a blessing and a mother to his beref1
offspring? All, yes; and there is hi;
money, too, with nobody to spend it
steward it and take care of it but hi:
inexperienced self! How fondly auo,le
she esteem the long-denied privilege
of hugging, handling and judiciousl.
.disbursing that sweet article to which
through all her spinster life heretofore
she has been practically stranger
Then Vashti in this case, is not re
bslliously self-divorced but dead, an.
ought not somebody to take Vashtl'
place? She thinks she ought to b
his banker, onyhoU.
On the other hand, (notwithstand
ing a quorum at least Of her bes
friends heartily join her in these sell
congratulations the great averag
multitude of those amicably incline
toward the espoused lady do most I'LL
-qualifedly commiserate the frail an
fresh sacrifcial May blossom, and d
also most soundly abuse and berat
the devilish frigid December ice-ber
into whose lap she is on the verge {
precipitating herself. And if th
wedding feast should emit rather tc
strong a scent of the gravy which th
t.funeral baked meats left in the owe
while her predecessor was cooling 0
board of far different temperature
if "she" should "move frs" durin
the the marital ceremony-if cher
day should be foul and "his' p fai
these direful omens are all duly il
terpreted, condensed and emblazone
into fell insignia of cher early deaf
-unfailingly prophetic, and sure
indicative that cher" tombstone wi
soon stand in the same row with nun
bers one to five, Cor one to eight i
elusive, on the cemetery lot of Il
much-married and much -ta1ked-abo
man.
Of the trio of widely-experienct
husbands the special phases of who
variegated nuptials, yoke-burdens al
biisses, and Pathological meanings al
tear-showers I shall here sketch,
have this to say in the abstract: Th
all lived, breathed, ate, drank al
were sometimes merry, courted al
married over seven ladies apiece, al
are now-nobody can vouch il
where. Excepting barely the fictitio
names I CONSIDERABLY christen the
with, there is not an atom OF fiction
nv story of their marital adventul
nothing but facts-cold, cruel, sol
funeral facts. Each is a specimen
his gregarious kind: first, Christoph
Glare, the unfortunate; second
Robert Rhineheart, the good; third
Annanias Axher, the irremediat
foul, the inexplicably heartless, bo
tfde Bluebeard and horribly cha
case" Adroitly arraying their all
teratively abusive Adamitic appel
tions for your attention, I hope I
hobbies of shadowy storytelling s
ence and alliterative art may at lei
have some success surer than brainl
Burchard's "Rum, Romanism a
Ruin" rigmarole, which. with Bro,
lyn, Beecher, eBurn-this letter." B
Ter and Believe eme-I-don' n't-know-w
all, beat clustering. braggadocio, Be
bastes, Benedict Blaine. Hcyl Go
back here, old rusty pen AMI int