The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1885-02-17

1t was 1494-almost four hundred years
ago the 7th of January.
Columbus had got tired loa6ng about
down east, SO he pulled fer the Mississippi
river. He felt his way along, and In due
time went and looked at Bloody Island.
While there two Indians fought duel and
Columbus acted as one of the seconds, very
much against the will of the old woman.
One Ingin got killed right of in the duel
The other Ingin went strutting about over
his victory and made all the balance mad.
Oh, they were mad as hornets get
When pOked by naughty boys.
They SAID unto themselves, "Ha, Hal
Well stop his wind and noise"
They held trial, Columbus acting as
Judge. The Ingin Was found guilty and
sentenced to be hung.
Columbus set saul for up the Missouri
river aud had a lawyer on board going to
Jefferson City to get re-hearing in the
supreme court 10 behalf of the IngiD.
When the ship reached st. Charles they
struck the "June rise" and stopped for it
TO PASS.
Columbus and the liwyer put in their
time catching drift wood aud playing draw
poker. While lying tied up tn y heard OF
Charlie JOhnsOns gambling law being
passed, and tha, the IngIn had been hung.
They burnt the deck of cards and the law
yer started back OIL foot, as the Ingin had
got past the jurisdiction of the supreme
court.
1t was in January, 1895, when Columbus
landed at Cedar City.
Columbus wanted to cross the river and
see what il looked like over there. The old
woman chung to his pigeon tailed coat that
the queen had ven HIM, and said:
mo, hubby; you must not 90 over there
| hear the wild amin ais bowling at night,
and the natives are fighting over the pos.
session uf Jack pots and it is not safe"
The nj xl day Henry Esiug came over
on The ice and called on the old woman
while Chris was out rustling in the brush
for som, thing to eat. Henry had on a coat
it b. al brass buttons all over il. This a.
tracied her attention, and she scrutinized il
very closely. She and Henry talked about
the fashions Tor some little time, then
Henry lett, Of course, before the old man
got back.
AS soon as Henry was out of sight, Mrs.
Columbus got in front OF her mirror and
CIT her hair off and manufactured a full
set of bangs.
When Columbus got back he was
amazed and wrsIhy at the bangs, but the
more he looked al them the better he liked
them.
She banged her hair until IL banged
And made her husband mad
But when he saw how well she looked,
IL made old "Chrksse glad.
The next day Mr.. and Mrs. Columbus
went acress the river and climNed the high
hill to see If they could see Bayard Taylor's
tracks. They met Kaiser, of the Madison
house, and asked him ii he wanted TO buy
dog?
Kaiser said he was not buying dogs now,
that be was feeding his guests on rabbits.
Columbus and mis- vile went to the place
where the state capitol building now stands
aud built FIRE and put up q lent. TGey
had not been there long when Nike Nc
Grsth come up and introduced himself,
AMI said he n at come to STAY
Columbus thought he was Joking, but he
was not; be was solemnly in earnest
While Mrs. Columbus was cooking some
sweet potatoes for breakfast, Chris went
down 10 Henry Gerstenkorn's and got some
link sausage which was cooked for break
fist. The students ut Lincoln school
smelled the sausage and sweet potatoes
cooking, and came ovt r in an army. Mr.
and Mrs. Columbus. assisted bv Mike Nc
Grath, had th-jr hands full to keep them
from taking their breakfast By force.
The day was spent in swapping stories
with the natives. Christopher said it
ID ght do to put a capitol here unt.l the
wild animals disappeared, but after that
civilized people would demand that il be
vaH IN MI hnu 4
thrive and prosper and give that place up
to the wild beasts Of the jungles to howl
until the lapse of time,
The next morning Mrs. Columbus awak-
ened the old m IN sn 1 told him il was time
to get up, But II was dark and he snored
aloud ON feather bed which he h al Dor
rOwed from the City hotel for the occasion.
Mis- Columbus got disguised at the sloth-
fitness of the old man and kicked him out
Of ted ard ted him TO build a fire as it
was time TO get up even, if it vas DOT day.
light.
Chris scrambled around in the gravel and
dressed. He went out and gathered some
sticks OF wood to build FIRE. While
doing this be found bear. He awoke the
bear. Chris climbed tree and was there
long time. Finally the bear got hungry
and left
Chris got hungry u I siaid there until
the bear left
He st9id until the ''ba~" had lett
wise Old chap was he:
He lOnged for grub, but thou b; 10 hes.
TOlinSer in that tree.
This Is another reason why a husband
should always do as the wife says, for
they know best about-some things.
That morning sitter eating his breakfast
OF Goldfish balls, fried mush, can
ned coruei beei mo rabbits them
and old Jsve coffee, he walked away from
the FIRE land looked toward another high
to be beautiful land and some tall objects
which be took to be dahlias. he thought
they we're flowers and called out to Mrs.
and said: