St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-03-21
;PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-One-half of the world doesn't knew
how the other half lives. And It's Just
as well. 1t saves great deal of gossip.
Boston Courier.
Brides on the Island of Sicily are
compelled to have their eyebrows shaved
off Immediately before the wedding
ceremony takes place.
An Ohio girl, while out riding with
young man, got out of the buggy and
killed herself with q pistol. He proba-
bly, persisted in driving with both hands.
Detroit Free Press.
-..Well, now, that sticks in my
cropm remarked the old farmer. as .
customer showed him over six bushels
of twigs and branches extracted from .
ton of his best hay.-Burlington Free
Press.
Bachelors can breathe easy again.
For three years they need not blush
and start coyly and timorously when the
fair maidens tell them they have some
thing to say in confidence.
IF you would be truly happy. my
DEAR" said one lady to another. ''you
will have neither eyes nor ears when
your husband comes home late from the
club" ..Yes, I know" answered the
other, wearily. ''but what am I to do
with my nose?"
AT the rink:
who was long and lank, and looked solemn,
Hit the door with his head,
And the words that he said
"ouid MI long ne"sPs&er e.riose,Dn Sotan Herald
1T was just after the tiff. 81 won
DER" snarled Romeo, "if we shall
know each other in heaven" "rll re-
member you, of course" replied Juliet
with tender emphasis. ''but, of course,
I couldn't know you without meeting
you," and a period of silence as long as
. centennial poem crept into the room.
N Y. Herald.
Business has been rather dull in
Texas this year. A Galveston drummer
who had made tour of the State, on
his return to Galveston was asked BY
his boss: ..Well, did you get any
orders?' II should smile. l don't
think went into single store, that
wasn't ordered out by the proprietor
himself" Teras Stftings.
When Mrs. Oleo. the boarding
house mistress, was told that the inspec-
tor of provisions had seized 468 pounds
of veal, ninety-two pounds of poultry,
fifty-two pounds of bear meat, thirty
seven lambs, six barrels of peas, and
200 boxes of herring. she remarked:
pretty good appetite; but nothing to
some of my boarders. You'd ought to
see them when they're good and hun
gry."-Chicago Tribune.
-.Smith, how is it that you always
get such good bargains?" queried Jones.
s.Because l was taught in my infancy
habits of thrift, patience and economy" "
replied Smith. MY father was always
drumming it into me to wait little
while and you'll purchase cheaper.
Why, even my mother used to sing bye
low, baby before could walk" Jones
was perfectly satisfied with the explana-
tion.-Boston Courier.
AT restaurant the other day the
antics of a green-looking customer, who
was twisting up in his chair, and turn.
ing round in all sorts of contortions, at.
tracted attention. Approaching him,
finally, the restaurant man asked in deep
perplexity: what do you do that for!
For heavens sake! what is the matter!
Was it the lobster?" Lobster b>
blowedr" growled the victim, with well.
feigned anger; I'm only taking my
dessert "Your dessert?" Eyes; look
at your bill of fare" We threw om
eyes over it. 1t enumerated some dozen
good things for dinner, and at the bot
tom were printed in fair large type the
words: ..For dessert turn over. IN.
7. Ledger.