Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-08-20

"Have you got a fresh pickerel weighing
about fifteen pounds:"
81 have, SIR"
"Well, want you to put him on ice and
ship him to me at - Lake. propose to
catch him on a hook out there"
every well, sir. 1 think I'll ship the
two together"
''The two?"
eyes, cir, Mr.. - mentioning the other
esteemed citizen) was here an hour ago
and bought one weighing twenty pounds! !!
same boxu'
The fish were paid for, but the bet was
declared off.-DetroI Free Press.
nar Pretty Cousin Ito young doctor)- - $50
you are a full fledged doctor, are you,
Tom? ?'
"Young Doctor-"Yes, I got my diploma
last week."
Pretty Cousin-"Have you any special
ty?''-~aas-...-a-.,sa a-...~' -
"Young Doctor-"Yes; I shall make chill
dren's diseases speciality"
Pretty Cousin-"Ah, yes, see; and as
you gain experience in your profession you
will be able to attend older people. That's
right, Tom, begin at the bottom and work
your way up."-Drake's Magazine.
b@I never did take much stock in that
story about fish being such fine brain food,"
inadvertently remarked Smith, ''and take
less stock in it than ever now, that I've
lived off little else for some time past. l
think I'll quit Them"
''I would if I were you, old boy" feel
ingly responded Smithers; "you see, the
fish, in order to improve the brain, must
have something to work on. They can't
create the thing"
And then Smith said that Smithers talk
ed for all the world like his wife.-OH City
Blizzard.
IT WAS NO JoKE.-A woman in Scott
county, Ark, when told her husband had
hanged himself, said:
"Look here, man, don't come trying to
play none o. your jokes on me-"
"It's fact" her informer solemnly de-
clared. ''.@ .''
Not trying to play prank" .
"Well, that's all right, then. I do hate
for person to skylark with me when Pm
busy. wonder Whar Abe got the rope."-
Arkansaao Traoeller. =, ....'--
p0-" "Yes stranger" said passenger from
Texas. 81 am goin' down East on an i'm
portant errand. Don't mind telling you that
am going to be married. You can imag-
inc how good natured and jolly [ feel"
Eyes; hut don't you feel a little anxiety, a
little trepidation about taking such an i'm
portant step in life?" "Narry trep, strang-
er." '"HaVe you ever been married be-
fore?" 'No; but I've been in one fight
with Injuns, two scrimmages with cowboys,
and went through four cyclones. I'm no
tenderfoot. Chicago Herald.
THE CALL AND THE SHoUT.-Small boy
"Ma, what does a minister mean when he
says he has 'call?'"
Ma-"He means that he feels prompted
to preach the gospel in some particular
locality where he can do o great deal of
good"
Pa-"And when he is offered ten thous-
and year and slippers and dressing gowns
free-that's Shout"
Ma-'You shouldn't put such worldly
thoughts in Wille's head, my dear."-1he
Hdtchet.
HE WAS GRATIFIED.-"Thec charge is not
correct, your Honor. The gentleman in
common drunk Therein lies the error,
your Honor. 1t was an uncommon drunk,
sir; the most uncommon drunk l ever be-
came involved in, and if the original charge
be changed in accordance with my state
ment shall take pleasure, your Honor, in
pleading guilty instanter."
The change was made and he went out
for thirty days.-IMercta1t Traveller.
"Grandma," said young scapegrace,
''do old people live very long?" "Some-
times" said the stern old lady. "Do you
think you will live to be very old?" per-
sisted the hopeful. II hope," said the old
lady, wearily, 'that I shall live long enough
young man." And the incorrigible re-
sponded: "Well, grandma, you needn't
wait, I'll telegraph" ."-Boston Commercial
Adrertiser.
He WAS TAKING SoMETHING.-"Hel-
10, Jones; how are you? Glad to see you.
I was just a-going to take something's
along? Come to think of it, though, you
weren't taking anything the last time I saw
you. Taking anything now?"
''Oh, yes, Smith; right straight along"
.-"Good. Come in. What are you taking
now. my boy?"
Names for the city directory. Good
day."-The Judge.
A FATHERS MIsTAKE.-Young Mr..
Featherly, guest, declined cake, and Bob
by's eyes grew big with establishment:
"Don't you want any cake?" he asked.
"No, Bobby" replied Feathery, IL sell
dom eat it,"
"How's that pa?" inquired Bobby, turn
ing to the old gentleman "you said that at
the dinner table Mr.. Featherly always takes
the cake. e."-IHe Sun.
THE LANGUAGE OF NOTE PAPER.-Said
a Dallas young lady to a female friend !:
"Why do you use two kinds of paper in
writing your love letters:"
"When write to Jim use red paper be-
cause that means love, and when write to
Tom l use blue paper, for that means faith
fulness. ."-Ieras Syftings.
A MODEST REQUEsT.-Lover (passionate-
ly)-"My sweet! My darling! love you
With all my heart! Be minew
Fair maiden-"Oh, George, this is Sc sud-
den; I must have time"
Lover-"No, no! must have an answer
now, for I have my eye on another girl"
nay A Western citizen who had been worst
ed in fight was told that he could collect
damages. 81 did collect damages" ne re-
piled mournfully. 81 collected everything
TT a ,;aoo of my, loft oar and two front