The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-07-04
THE CHURCH DEBT.
[Bnl Nye,sn New York Mercury.l

IBu Nye,i in New York Mercury. have been thinking the matter over seriously and have decided that if 1 had my life to live over again, would like to be an eccentric millionaire.
 have eccentricity enough, but can not successfully push it without more means.
 have great many plans which would like to carry out in case l could unite the two necessary elements for the production of the successful eccentric millionaire.
 Among other things 1 would be will. ing to bind myself and give proper se- curity to any one who would put in money to offset my eccentricity that would ultimately die. We all know how seldom the eccentric millionaire now dies. would be willing to inaugurate a reform in that direction.
 think now that 1 would endow a home for men whose wives are no longer able to support them. In many cases the wife who was at first able to support her husband comfortably finally shoul- ders church debt, and in trying to lift that she oyerworks and impairs her health so that she becomes an invalid while her husband is left to pine away in solitude or dependent on the cold charities of the world.
 My heart goes out toward those men even now, and in case should i'll the grave of the eccentric millionaire l am sure l would do the square thing by them.
 The method by which our wives in America are kn ocking the church debt silly by working up their husbands gro- ceries into "angel food" and selling them below actual cost, is deserving of the attention of our national 6nanciers.
 The church debt itself is deserving of notice in this country. It certainly thrives better under republican form of government than any other feature of our boasted civiliz ation. Western towns spring up everywhere, and the first anx- iety is to name the place, the second to incur church debt and establish a roller rink.
 Alter that general activity in trade is assured. or course the general hostility of church and rink will prevent ernui and listlessness and the church debt will encourage business boom. Naturally the church debt cannot be paid without what is generally known through the west as the festival and hooraw." This festival is an open market where ladies trade the groceries of their hus- bands to other ladies' husbands and everybody has "penectly lovely time. !" The church clears S2 90, and thirteen ladies are sick all the next day.
 This makes boom for the physicians and later on for the undertaken and gen. eral tombist. So it will be seen that the western town is right in establishing a church debt as soon as the survey is made and the town properly named.
 After the first church debt has been properly started, others will rapidly fol- low, so that no anxiety need be felt if the church will come forward the first year and buy more than 1t can pay for.
 The church debt is a comparatively modern appliance, and yet it has been productive of many peculiar features. For instance, we call to mind the cler- gyman who makes a speciality of going from place to place as a successful debt demolisher. He is a part of the general system just as much as the ice-cream freexer or the button-hole bouquet.
 Then there is the row or social knock down-and-drag-out which goes along with the church debt. All these things add to the general interest and to acquire interest in one way or another is the mis- sion of the C. d.
 once knew most exemplary woman who became greatly interested in the wiping out of church debt and who did finally succeed in wiping out the debt, lut in its last expiring death-str ug- gle it gave her a wipe from which she never recovered. She had succeeded in begging the milk and the cream and the eggs and the sandwiches and the use of the sugar and the loan of an oyster and the use of freezer and fifty button-hole bouquets, to be sold to men who were not in the habit of wearing bouquets, but she could not borrow circular artist to revolve the crank of the freezer, so she agitated it herself. Hey husband had to go away prior to the festivities, but he ordered her not to crank the freezer. He had very little influence with her, how ever, and so to-day he is 6 widower. The church debt was revived in the following year, and now there isn't more thriving church debt anywhere in tho country. OAly last week that church traded of S75 worth of groceries in the form of asbes- tos cake and celluloid angel food in such way that if the original cost of the gro ceries and the work were not considered, the clear profit was SI3, after the hall rent was paid. And why should tho first cost of the groceries be reckoned when we stop to think that they were involun- tarily furnished by the depraved husband and father.
 l must add also that in the above esti- mate doctors bills and funeral expenses are not reckoned.