davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22
Man Successfully Defined.

Man that is married to a woman
is of many days AMI full of
trouble. -
In the morning he draws his sala-
ry, and in the evening
Behold, it is gone!
1t is a tale that is told;
1t is vanished, and no man knows
wither it goeth.
He riseth up clothed in the chilly
garments
OF the night
And seeketh the somnolent pare
goric
Wherewith to soothe his infant
posterity.
He cometh as a horse or OK
And draweth the chariot of his
offspring.
He spendeth his shekels in the
purchase of fine linen
To cover the bosom of his
Family;
Yet himself is seen at the gates of
the city
With one suspender.
Yea; he is altogether wretched.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

1
day; but when she put her hands
in mine to bid me good night, l
couldn't restrain myself longer,
but blurted out the words which
TO ME MEANT EVERYTHING.
A peal of merry laughter
greeted my proposal, and she
withdrew her hands. l was
abashed,ss unable to understand the
situation, until she said through
her merriment: "How funny"
Il told her that | was in dead
earnest, and she replied:
az know you are;,, but 1 was
laughing to think that l fshould
receive a second proposal just one
yeal after the first, and almost in
the same words
4" That was a sort of damper to
my ardor, and with all the frigidi-
ty | could command, l asked:
Pray tell me who was the rash
youth who preceded me by year,
and what has become of him?
with a heartlessness that [
could scarcely believe possible in
one whom | had learned to love,
and in whom L had never seen any
thing but goodness, she replied:
"'Oh, it was Jim Harvey, and
he went out and killed himself
If a knife had been thrust in
to my very heart the pain and ag-
ony OF that moment could not have
been greater. My noble-hearted
friend to sacrifice his life for such
a woman, and [
TO HAVE THE TERRIBLE TRUTH
thrust Upon me in such a painful
manner. 1 could not find words to
express my feelings, until she laid
her hand upon my arm, and with
startled voice exclaimed:
"'Why, what is the matter?
"Her question aroused me, and
grasping her by both arms, |
threw her with all my strength to
the floor, and with t4e single word
-murderess!--I hurried from the
house, almost a mailman. | rev.
er saw her again, but | have since
learned that she married, removed
to New York. So now, my friend,
you can understand why 1 am not
out with the boys tonight, and
why l am not in my usual spirits.
"That is about the substance of
Mr.. Cleveland's story as he rela-
ted tito me twenty years ago, said
the Buffalo gentleman; "and l am
of the opinion that that is the
cause of the Governors bachelor
hood. At least he stated in convert
sation with me afterwardsthat has
faith in woman would neverbe re-
vived enough to ask another one
to be his wife"
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

." anu AoWou 10 the front, and
the singing went on till another
argumentum ad hominem was
considered advisable. In this
way the singing and talking alter
mated until l found myself stand
ing alone-the only unmelted sin
ner in the audience. Mss Mary
gave me pathetic look. I knew
she was anxious for me to come
up, and [ was anxious to come up
myself, but somhow | didn't. O,
how | wish Ihad! The preacher
stopped the singing and reached
out his arms and pointed his long
bony fingers at me. Every soul
III the house looked right in my
face. "Come on, my friend, the
Lord hain'tno respecter of per-
sons. You're powerful ugly now
but you'll be as purity as any OF
'em when you git har-don't be
standin' back, feard he's lookin'
at your face, fur he hain't; he's
a lookin' at your heart. Tspect
thar was some of them thar skrip-
ter leopards as wus cured of thur
leprosy that was mighty nigh as
ugly as you fore they got health.
Come and git religion,and you'll
be as purity as a pink in Heben.'
[ didn't go; l was SO embarrass-
ed l didn't know what to do. And
when he knelt down that old abom-
ination, after finishing the mourn
ers, asked the Lord numerously in
my behalf,and among other things
said: Sense it is thy holy will
to make him ugly on the outside.
We pray thee to make him purity
on the inside
When church turned out Miss
Mary spoke not a word to me as
we walked together to the buggy
Poor thing! she was so deeply sol
emnized by the impressive seryi-
cesl After harnessing the horse
1 offered my hand to help her tc
her seat; she ran around to the
other side of the buggy, jumped
up and sat as silent as bump on
a log all the way home, with hel
face all the while pointed in the
opposite direction. We haven't
married yet, and she is now the
wife of a wealthy, healthy man
and the mother of sons and
daughters whose parent [ would
certainly have been had differ
ent clergyman officiated during
the afternoons services. This is
one of the many, many evidences
that from the very first there has
been a divinity misshaping all
my matrimonial ends and making
my whole adult existence moving
illustration of the poets plaintive
words:
"T'was ever thus in childhood's hour
I've seen my fondest hopes decay;
never was in woman's power
But what found it wouldn't pay.
Il never loved a dear young belle
To glad be with her soft black eye,
But when she came to know me well
She'd kick me $50 to speak, sky-high."
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

An English paper gives some
of the Gu riosities Of medical life,
One doctor lunches every day at a
castle where the household is large,
and his chances for patient are
excellent. = He meets some of the
best company i'll England, and
charges a guinea for each attend
snce. A very wealthy man near
large city cannot1 bear to be-
-alone at night, so an eminent city
physician gets $1,000 a year for
lodging ia the house. One
young doctor has $4,000 a year
for looking after the health of an
old lady. She has to be inspect
ed three times q day, but is "as
strong as horse and SO per-
verse that he .has trouble with
her.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22
An Episode of the Battle of Gettys-
burg.

Midway between the contending
lines, says the New York Star,wa
a solitary tree that in peaceful
times had given shade to the har-
vest hands at their incoming. Ear
tlyin the morning some Confeder-
ate sharp-shooters had crawled
out to this tree, and were able to
reckon their game at every slIot.'
So destructive, in fact, did their
firing become, that the widest inn
precautions were shouted at them
by the Federals, and threats were
made that if taken they would get
no quarter. All at once there
came a lull in the firing from that
part of the line. A Confederate
was seen to rise up from the base
of the tree and to advance toward
the Federals with his hand raised.
Shots were fired at him, but there
was curiosity at lis approach, and
the word was, "Wait till we see
what he wants I to-. do" Some
thought he had mind to desert,
and encouraged him with shouts
of "Come over, Johnny! we won't
fire." But if the Confederate
spoke, what he said could not be
heard in the din of the cannonad-
ing and .musketry. Forward still
he came, and all eyes were strain
ed to see what it could be that he
meant to do, 1t might be merely
trick to deceive. Suddenly the
Confederate dropped upon the
grass. The next instant a thrill
of enthusiasm passed through the
Federals, murmurs of admiration
were heard, and then a cheer as
hearty as if given in charge, burst
forth from their throats; and the
cheer repeated, increasing in vol
ume, proved that.unselfsh actions
are possible, and that there are
noble hearts to appreciate and re-
spond.
The Confederate sharpshooter
who had been doing his best to
destroy his antagonist, had OBJ
served in front Of him a wounded
Federal, lying helplessly on the
ground between the two lines, and
begging in his agonizing thirst
for drink; and at the almost GER
tain risk of losing his own life, he
had gone forward to give comfort
to the distressed enemy. This it
was that caused the Federal cheer,
and for a few minutes stopped the
work of death in that neigborhood.
When the sharpshooter had per-
formed his act of mercy he has
tened back to the tree, and with
the warning cry, down, Yanks,
were going to ireF' the little, un-
premeditated truce was ended and,
was soon forgotten in the grand
event that followed almost imme-
diately after.
The next day-the Fourth Of
July-a heap of Confederates was
found under that tree. Whether
the hero of the day before was one
of the CHASTITY dead, will never be
known.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22
Whiting Jack.
Americas Recorder.

Americas Recorder
A curiosity who calls himself
"Whittling jack is in town, and
yesterday entertained crowd at
81 Hawkins by his marvellous
work with the jack knife. Out of
a solid block of pine twelve or
fifteen inches long Ae would carve
a series of fans spreading out like
small windmiAs. These were laf-
fled off as fast as made for SI.50,
and during the day he did a snug
business. Jack claims that he
can make almost anything in min
iature with his knife, and his skill
is undoubted. The finest piece
of work he ever made brought
him sos. He goes from town to
town working his own profession,
and lives co mfortably and well on
his earnings,
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

The pail bearers at a funeral in
"a Arazona mining town quarrel
ed on the way to the cemetery,
and the whole cortege was stopped
', %hIle they bed a rough and tum-
Die Slugging match on the road
Slde' A local paper says the only
qolet perSou in the company was
the CORPSE
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

Ben Butler has at last fallen to
about the level of the men who
circulated the convict catechism
among the negroes of Georgia in
1880.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

Robbie,' said the visitor kind
ly, 'shaye you any little brothers
and sisters?" NO replied
Robbie, solem My "Tm all the
children we've got"
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22
,n,1,,tMENr AND NEWS.

A., W. L. Glessner, wife Of
w. w.. dlesser, of the Americus
pa.order, OAR is dead.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

A Deadwood husband publish
es this notice: MY wife, Sarals
has Shot my rancho, When +
didn't Doc thing Too hur an I
want it distinctly Understood that
any man that takes her in an
keers for bur On my account will
get himself pumped so Full of
lead that some tenderfoot will To-
cate him fur Mineral clame.
A word Too the wise is sufficient
an orter work on fools"
All kinds of Justices Blanks,
Mortgages, Notes, cts, for sale at
the JOURNAL Office.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

r,ta your good resolutions and
~ 'em1 up somewhere where
locA ,os can't break;n and steal 'em.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

hey don't have old maids in
1,eSla' When a lady finds her
'S'f at about twenty-five, without
prospect of matrimony, she
out on a pilgrimage, or a
III ehd of travel, and turns up
ssPle years after widow" 1t is
N etiquette to inquire in lady's
fSence after her dead husband
mat advanced country.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

Two brothers, armed with
''ns' called on a Paris editor
I'ner day to tell him how he
\, UOlo run his paper. One of the
pW 'rerS was hauled off with three
b. lui9'S ,u IN his body and the other
l. 4. bounced by the printers in
o,nce' The editor was not se-
''S injured. Moral-Don't
''''np' to bulldoze the editor,
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

Many a young girl who was
nlsying on piano one year ago,
= rbile her mother put up the pre-
.orves, is now over hot stove do
mo the same thing for herself.
Rut if was ever SO.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

When a poor and ordinary man
gives away to his appetite for liq-
uor, he is said to be drunk and
taken to the cooler or work
house. When a rich man does it,
he is carefully put to bed, and
said tc be suffering from nervous
prOstration."
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

A Pennsylvania genius is not
one Of the men to rail about moth
s,s.ip-law. He married two sis
ters in succession, and, becoming
widower the third time, he mar
ried their step-mother.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

A gentleman who travelled sew
eral thousand miles to view Texas
with the purpose of purchasing,
got a large sized red ant on him,
and stranger as he was, he cayort-
ed around and used as appropri-
ate language as If he had lived
there all his life and moved in the
best Of society.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

MANY man even in the South
is countenanced in what is con-
sidered the best society, who
would not be noticed were it not
for the rattle of his sheckles. $50
ciety" needs fumigation.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

yditor Mclean recently pre-
ltsd L his. bride with necklace
Ss' : diamonds that cost $4,000.
" %orol if you want to make money
aioin the press. rssv
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

Tom Matthews, a famous clown,
:. living at Brighton, England, 80
Years old, hale and hearty. The
;okes he used to. get off are also
hale and hearty, and much older
4han 50 years. L
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

The latest dodge in the betting
line is for girls to bet kisses with
the young men. There is some
thing soul-satisfying about
this kind of a bet. Both
sides are willing to pay if they
lose, and there is no danger of a
quarrel over q false count.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

A young man blacked his mus
Ehe with lead comb and then
box his girl out for a moonlight
holl. When the fair one ap-
peared in the bright light of the
family circle a couple of hours la
ter, her face looked like a railroad
man
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

A dogs skull in which were two
$40 gold pieces and some small
pieces of silver, was found by
Willie McNight, near Rockdade
paper mills, on last Sunday even
ing. He was out walking, and in
crossing newly-washed gully
saw the skull.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22
Indians Attack an Editor.

A couple of Indian warriors in
Arizona got drunk. Their hearts
became bad, as an Indians heart
usually does when he imbibes too
much fire water. These Indians
aimed to strike death blow at
civilization by cleaning out a local
newspaper office. The two cop
per colored gentlemen were nam
I'd resp ectfully Gee Up Char
ley and Short Pants. The editor
of the paper describes his inter-
view with the children OF the for
est in the following impressive
style: AT first they had the adj
vantage, Short Pants having hit
us terrible blow in the stomach,
which temporarily knocked the
wind ont Of us. But we soon raj
lied, and by pieing two forms on
Gee-up Charles head eliminated
him from the battle. Then, by
skillful maneuvering, we kept
Short Pants from hitting US again
until we got to the door, when we
called to All Blodget to help US,
which he did. The red devils are
now in Jail, where they will have
chance to sober up. Our loss
was about $3.50"
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

Miss Susan B. Anthony will
~ m visit Europe with her blue
SD toatings. She goes to rival Miss
,ssrr y, Anderson, and will see the
pr;nce of Wales.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

The Queen of Madagascar is
,,lv nineteen years Of age, hand
o .ome and shapely, and about the
'olor of a ginger-eake. She is
,',ite friendly to the missionaries.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

At Dallas, vexas, a whisk' %.
soaked man, named Arthur (s-&
don, son of a wealthy New !,
merchant, ratified himself OF a. ten
cents chance, 100 chances. A
nevspaper man won and now he
doesn't know what to do with him.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

The Mormon elders who are
tolling of ,h;r ignorant prose-
lytes from = . = :; sstss rHnnes-
see, s. = q
IS to convince them hA
:, domination will not be t -
Grated. q.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

The wedding will be duly cele-
brated in very short time.
The Dawson journal., 1885-01-22

Mrs W. Ii -
~ w. Glesser, of the Americus
na.order, s,', = is dead.
r.ta your good resolutions anf
- i'1 em7 Up somewhere where
locA can't break;n and steal 3em
.1;tor Mclean recently pre-.
Tod his. bride with a necklace
SsD : diamonds that cost $4,000
NJ %oral, fyou want to make money
join the press" g
Misc Susan B. Anthony will
~ visit Europe with her blue
SoOl taatinrs. She goes to rival Miss
Morv Anderson, and will see the
Prince of Wales.
The Queen of Madagascar is
o0lv nineteen years of age, hand
some @ and shapely, and about the
ooIor of ginger-eake. She is
mite friendly to the missionaries
Tom Matthews, a famous clown,
:. living at Brighton, England, 80
Years old, hale and hearty. The
;otes he used to get off ares@also
hale and hearty, and much older
than 50 years.
Many young girl who was
nsyins on a piano one year ago,
rbile her mother put up the pre-
serves, is now over a hot stove do
mo the same thing for herself.
Rut it was ever SO.
A Pennsylvania genius is not
one of the men to rail about moth
o,s.ip-Iaw. He married two sis
tors in succession, and, becoming
widower the third time, he mar
rjed their step-mother.
Manv man even in the South
is countenanced in what is con-
sidered the best society, who
would not be noticed were it not
for the rattle of his sheckles. $50
ciety" needs fumigation.
The Mormon elders who are
tolling of IA 'ir ignorant prose-
lytes from = . = srss Hnnes-
see, s. = a
IS to convince them AA
:. domination will not be t -
Grated. q.
At Dallas, rexas, a whisEt 9,
soaked man, named Arthur T'&
don, son of wealthy New = i,
merchant, ratified himself OF a. ten
cents a chance, 100 chances. A
newspaper man won and now he
doesn't know what to do with him.
/ A young man blacked his mus
Ehe with lead comb and then
box his girl out for moonlight
holl. When the fair one ap-
peared in the bright light of. the
family circle a couple of hours la
ter, her face looked like railroad
map.
When a poor and ordinary man
gives away to his appetite for liq-
uor, he is said to be drunk" and
taken to the cooler" or work
house. When a rich man does it,
he is carefully put to bed, and
said tc be suffering from nervous
prostration."
The latest dodge in the betting
line is for girls to bet kisses with
the young men. There is some
thing soul-satisfying about
this kind of a bet. Both
sides are willing to pay if they
lose, and there is no danger of a
quarrel over a false count.
r A gentleman who travelled sew
eral thousand miles to view Texas
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27

a1f the prospects q sugar plantation pro-
perfr at the SINE Of the saie and mortgage n
,,-estiru- We intend % guard against nov
reversing D harrai1 waich uiZnt have been
f1ir 1t tie tine, bzt WHICH the sabsesIIsnE
cuurse Of business has proved Co be iiszdvalt-
agsuus. Sat Soaring tlhs n mind, under al
he circumstances and f1cts CT the ease as
sf11ed n The opi1icu ct the Chief Gsfices a1d
az we further find them IN iae rgcurc ca eVI1-
ence. We mast ind Lhat tie transaction be-
tweeH tie parties was thea ulcunsClnnahie-
The effect Of the eviGelce ID % cunSIrce Is
that Kennedy sold FIR a vary high Prica his
interest n a property which from the begin
ui-,r had yisiiei ban 40 dividends and placed
him under considerable Liabilities. He bad
rrerrsus7y said quarter flr The nominal sun
sf 81. 600 Of whirh L may be sad be had
newer been PAID azE part f1r SI9salg vas ssst
against this as 3sing She aHaunf winch ne
a1uf the rianessssu barely zpca Ach=agles
.tsfsment If th-ar a,uuGzE and the remainder
u,rs settled - note which remasnei uupa1E
and vras aiisf 10 The amount ufthe alnrfssl tag,
gwen for the second quarter. The sale Of Eaicn
we arr urur considering >'sfnnE asI1s .liH
vaiuatsnn If the property as given By the a.
ksn1znt's tsstiunny, the rrercnlsrzace af me
sEldsnca s-r1ugiy sszEtIius tle flct 1laE ne
vzlHaEiun thaE ilis share was a1le nr vas
grossly azlEg-rIref
We arses1aiiy If upiailn thai AeAsngIls
a. tizt rilne VAS ant n . uzHial s1nliIlin
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27

but ont Of that day came Paul. 1t was dark
day when the persecution that arose against
Stephen rayased the disciples; but gu. Of it
came the world wide preaching Of the Gospel.
Il was dark day when the Puritans, finding
10 rest for the sole Of their feet, sailed from
the Old World; but out Of it came America.
Darkest of all days WAS that on which the sun
hid his face from the Divine Man expiring On
Calvary; yet all cur hopes and all cur ha5ppi-
Cess come from that day.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27

Que Of the most popular FrelucIcCs Is that
1Irueal Is prs-s1Iinsz-iy the proper food f1C
the iniaz1ils stomach, and singgIIriy enough
The iafantIis taste usually rebels az this diet
sui, iE Is not iufrEs1e1tIy H1bsCn's choice
with tue 1nlzcsy yg'ln ester Hs must eat cat
meal cr % s1pPerisss 60 bed Vow however,
4 friend has spoken up for him Or. BIrthiow
IS recorded u the CcEsye EEf Clilzie1l Rscgrri
as Saying that few American st1machE are
equal g the digestion of oatmeal 1t l. true;
Be l,its, --shlt the Scotch manage to eat much
ct II, bUs there Is IL nation SC subject C iufi-
sesticE as they
Many Of the darkest days n history have
borne the choicest fruit 70 the gicry Of God
and the g1od OF nan Il vas dark d4y when
Israel grua1ei n tie Bitterness q Egyptian
bon1a-g- Had it been less bitter, Israel wuGlt
have rested cultent II EgTpt; cut CT the bCu5-
age cane the ex1G1s, the Messiah L vas .
dark day when the ardent, brave, eloquent
Stephen. &pe CT the early church. vas stoned
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27

- nnsineas Cards when <t'flid ~ ~ gt.fI ~
= iscuant these r1iea uhitn ~ nf t1rII'ns
slY.rtisausanfa, when paid % charged Inaltei'f
n. n-Ail foreign ADVERTISEMENTS me.t lS I
mem Thnralss argos are given 10 the above A' -
fssaanrra for fasiern American advert e. ~
rIisons nav BE- made b. hank bills coin Or ter ctnt i
Az atamps
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27
1usuranu Notifies.


4 GENT ofurcmrn Hoard OF Underwriters.
"A Agcnt u Dresden Board Of Underwriters,
Agent Of Vienna Board Of Underwriters.
Claims against Insurance Companies within the iurit
dieticn Of the above Boards OF Underwriters will have
to be certified TO BY the above Agent 70 make them
valid 1913 ~
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27

H1u1i1ll- ullIz- q Z
Also, Puhi5sla-as taa Haraiiaa Almanac and A aalz
1at EITziiIl Directory ant CtI-ldar ltE-
II Hsr-a1n -sire-tS11ru rh= Fort srr-ar store VI
VA BE- 1eTu1sd . tseusra gulhrace Elae >lltlausrl-
SgI1lusry- Biluz BGulls BGoizz Artists Materials
views ard Blzila.r Depart Toys and FaacE e1ods-
meu1z nfE II
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27
ANNUAL PREMIUM s2425O.

The Second and subsequent premiums are Eksrrf II
BE- -edlced BE- tlcrsfs7J animal fi8tri5ai1as ofs--
HiH-
- Applications cln De had Of. IHi f1I IN f,rulf-n
vii be given by the Agents
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27
Insurance Notice .

TUNnE AGENT FOR THE BIRTHS Fer
cign Marine Insurance Company lLimitcdl has
received distractions to Reduce the Rates Of In
between onoluln and Pprts The Faeide and
Is prepared 10 issue Policies az the lowest rates.
TitEo. n. DAVIES,
in Sly Agent Brit For. Mar tns. Co.. Limited
The Hawaiian gazette., 1885-05-27
DR.. JORDAN q CO.
DR.. ]. COILS BROWNIES CHlORODYHE,
rnE ORIGINAL and ONLY GENUINE.

Advice - Iuvailds.f You wish 10 obtain qnict re-
frcshne sleep free from headache. relief from pain and
/ anguish, 10 calm and assuagc the weary achlnrs o.
proiracfcd disease. uvigoratr the nervous media. and
regulate the circulating systems % thr body, you VIII
provide yourself with that marvellous remedy discover
ed by Or j. Coils Browne Qate Army Medical sta 70
which he gave the name Of CHLOkOD1Nk, and which
4 admitted By the profession 20 be the most wonderful
and valuable remedy ever discovered
CuLORODYNE l. the best remedy known for Conehs,
Consumption. Bronchitis, Asthma.
CuLORoDYNE acts like a charm In Diarrhoa. and
Is the only specific In Cholera and Dysenicry,
CULORoDYNE edectuaiiy cuts short al attacks o.
Epilepsy, Hysteria, Papitation, aud spasms.
CHLoRODYNE u the only palliative In Nenralaia
Rheumatism. Cont Cancer, Toofhache, Meningitis, &c,