The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-11-04
QUEER AND CURIOUS SIGNS.
Some of the Notices to be Seen About
New York

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"Show-Cards Written Here by
Men Of Letters" Such was the
Canal street legend that caught the
eye of the pedestrian in search OF the
odd, the quaint and the ridiculous
in signboard literature. TO find out
whether some INDECENT artist and
author was here prostituting his
brain and skill, or whether the occu-
pant was really the author of the
facetious and r;nphatic signs that
are made to catch the public eye,
the doubtful scribe mounted to the
attic and found that neither of his
suppositions was wide of the mark.
A man busily engaged in decorating
cardboard proved 10 be a scholar,
and truly Japanese in the doleful-
ness of his mirth.
Comic signs p said he in answer
to an inquiry for information.
We'll, they may have been cnce, but
there's nothing new under the sun, !"
as he dipped to one side card in
scribed "Hoe-made Pise." Though
the Egyptians and Musselmans were
averse to such devices, Athens and
Rome used the same old Jokes in
their wine cellars that are known to
younger generations and. as for me
well. behold one who has dieted on
a mental regimen of "chestnuts. "
How he added flourish TO Hands
Wanted on Pants" That maternal
Joke is a source of amusement every
day on Broadway, for the secret of
humorous signs, intentional or acci-
dental, Is that every one prldes him.
self on percelving a witticism. a
man In London made q fortune
thirty years ago. in making these
cards, but now every business man
likes to placard his own joke other
men have sprung up in the business;
cartoons and doggerel verses are all
the go, and times are very dull. Al
most every Office has rung the
changes on when you call upon a
man of business do your business,
go about your business, and give him
a chance TO attend to his business. "
"a young man down town, who
earns a precarious livelihood by
writing advertisements, has stuck up
this warning:
- Take that 9uff elsewhere.
The story you are about 70 tell Is chestnut.
Time is money and we are not charitable.
A business man has posted con-
spieuously and tersely
To-day for me, tomorrow for you
"Still, what may De called bad
breaks in the English language are
mostly perpetrated by the Irish
Americans in restaurants and drink
ing-halls." The scribe went on his
way and kept his eyes oyen.
. A Grand street sign, Shaving
Mugs 3 Cents" makes it uncertain
whether it refers to the act or the ar
tiele.
A Fourteenth street quaek an
nounces, Cancers Cured and War
ranted," Any one wishing a nice
vigorous cancerous growth need evil
IDENTIFY go no further.
The tin-type pests of Roekaway
put out tLis insinuating invitation {;
Have your photographs taken to-
gether."
The old New Yorker. as he walks
along the platform of the City Hall
station of the elevated railway is
surprised by the information: This
is not the Brooklyn Bridge"
Practical Hair Cutter" is an an
nouncement so common that few
stop to reflect on the imprcbability
of theoretical hair cutter doing
paying business.
The sporting editor ofa prominent
New York daily surmounts his desk
with the title OF certain religious
weekly: THE Christian at Work"
A baker who aims at excelling in
pie and patriotism has elevated this
sign above his door: Homemade
Pies. Pro Bono Puhlico."
But in the drinking halls and low
resorts are found the most spicy pla-
cards, laughable in their grim hu-
NOR, which usually point a forci-
bic though unexpressed moral. A
Houston street temple of sparTing
declares mo lovers allowed" while
an adjacent concert-hall gives the
invitation. "Guests will please ar
range themselves as picturesquely as
possible"
At Lion Park there is a hidden
demand, Gentlemen will not spit
upon the floor Others must not"
The visitors at Fort Lee Park
must not be judged by the admoni-
tion in the dining-room Gentle
men will please not throw bread
around the room"
There is rule prevalent in the
East River dance gardens that glory
in the rapturous delight of the
loathesome crawl that
is usurping the American Waltz
No society Knickerbocker or Boston
Dip allowed on this floor"
Yet by far the most delicious
piece Of command in New York is
the veiled irony OF a notice in a no
torious resort: Positively no excuse
if found with another mans hat. "
Any one acquainted with the Gus
toms of Hester street knows that the /
lnexpressd punishment will never
permit the offender to return in /
.tatu quo. The penalty will come !
n a hriefer space than the an
nouncement it will be as emphatic
is the command.-Nelr York Times. !
Large Contract for Pipe.
HARRISBURG, Oct 22.-The Amer
n