The Nevada picayune., 1885-01-08
Il MO 2 US.

Actors are goOu nfturcd. l iCA are always ready to take omyboGy's part. They are mostly smokers too, for they delight in puils. Bill Hard players too, for none know more about cues.
 'HlIow is it, Fogg, that you are always advising everybody to mar ", and yet you show no bury about taking a wife yourselfF' logg; "Bccausc, my boy, I'm too much of gentleman to help my self until everybody else is supPh- ed"
 Burlington Free Press: "twen. ty-nilfe young bachelors of Fort Dale. Fla, have taken q binding and solemn oath to get marri- ed in one year. We mention this now so as to give the girls plenty of time to get their wardrobes re- plenished and buy their ticket to Florida"
 Paris Figaro: Yes, "bretnren, " says the clergymeu who is preach inc the funeral sermon, "our de- ceased brother was cut down In single night.-torn from the arms of his loving wife, who is thus left a discousolate widow at the early age of 2I years.n "Twenty-twe, | you please" says the widow, in a front pew, emerging from her handkerchief for an instant.
 Scranton Republican: In Sun. day school the teacher had been explaining the text, "Let your Joins be girded." Wishing to see if they understood the explanation he said to d boy: "Well, tell me how and why we are commanded to gird up our ioins.' keep up our breeches." replied the youth.
 St Paul Pioneer Pres: A Pres byterian doctor of divinity once said to me at general assembly, "You newspaper men have queer views of things. You are always looking on and never taking part, Your knowledge and habits oi thoughts must be very circurf- ential and superficial, l suppose, now your idea of the day of judg- ment is that you will have table of at one side and report the pro- eeedings for the morning paper"
 Somerville Journal: Years ago q Vermont farmer lost many sheep through the depredations oi wolves. He journid to Boston and.retuned with a wolf dog which cost him many dollars. He start ed out the next day and soon his dog was following up scent rap idly and disappeared in the woods. The farmer on horseback followed and met chopper. "Wall, stran- ger, did yer see c'cr a dog and a wolf go by!' "Gaas," |" Wall, how was it2r "The dorg was q leetle ahead. ;
 The following was part of a young attorneys opening speech on argument of demurrer in one of the Denver courts, recently ''May it please your honor, this is n stupenduouS question. It's decis- ion by you this day will live in jul dicial history long after you and l shall have passed from this scene of earthly glory and sublunary vanity; when the tower of Pisa shall be forgotten. when Waterloo and BorodiGo shall grow dim in the distant cycles of reeeding cen turies, when the names ot Eugene, Marlborough, and Nopolcon are no longer remembered, when the pyramids of the gharoahs shall have crumbled into dust, when the hippopotamuS shall cease to eXhib- il its native NilC-eNcn then your rulings upon this demurrer will still survive, fresh green, and im- perishable, on the antique volumes of legal lore. This caro, your hon. or, originally concerns the cost of two new hats and an umbrella.
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 Odds and Ends
 All bow to virtue. and then walk