The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-03-12
HUSLiC CONDUCT,
How the Lady and Gentleman and the Bo0i
Are Distinguished.

Are Distinguished
Good behavior everywhere marks the
lady. and gentleman. Rough. ill-man-
nerly, unseemly conduct distinguish the
b0or. Just what constitutes good be-
haviOr, however, is a matter ABOUT
which differences of opinion prevail.
Mere awkwardness may indicate only
lack of knowledge and consequent en-
barras>ment, and not rudeness, in the
unmannerly sense. There are persons
who simply fail in politeness, not from
intention, but from a lack of knowl-
edge. Mere saavity is not all of polite
ness Nor is that form of good con-
duct which entertains in a private par
lOr suitable for public occasions. Po-
likeness in a street-car, at church, in
the theater, on the street, and in any
public place. is different from that in a
parlor. as tC its form of man ifestation.
Touching street cars, it is often a
question whether gentlemen should al
WAYS rise and offer ladies their seats.
No doubt it is polite to do so. In the
case of the aged or infirm. or woman
with child IN her arms. it is specially
desirable that the seat should be offered
But Ill other cases, while it is polite to
do so,-- It is also equally polite to recOg-
nize the courtesy. Ladies have them
selves to blame for the lack of courtesy
in this particular that is often seen.
Because they do not acknowledge the
favor. and also because they are not
usually careful to give room for others
when they might, an Indifference to the
courtesy due them is sometimes seen.
1t is far more common than was the
case years ago for ladies to be left
standing in crowded cars. The reason
is what we state above. Were they
more courteous they would receive
more attention in the particulars named.
1t Is not expected that strangers should
cultivate familiarity, but there are little
concessions of courtesy that contribute
to ease and comfort that are proper in
all publ C places. And when these are
shown they a"e apt to be reciprOcated.
And this touches the essence of what
Is politeneSs in public. 1t involves the
prompt perception of the rights and
comforts of others, and the willing and
graceful concession of these. Where
this is done, even if the manner be not
all that could be desired, the spirit and
purpose answer These are apt to be
evident in the manner. And where
there is a purpose and effort to make
others agreeable, the essence of true
polireness will appear. But selfshness,
that seeks only personal enjoyment, at
the expense of all others, is the essence
of impoliteness. There appear in pub
lie life many who are polished as to
outward manner who are. at the same
time, at variance with all the rules of
good conduct. a stately bow, a pol
iShed expression, do not answer for
that regard for the comfort of others
which is the material element in good
conduct.
How frequently these points are IL
Illustrated liz public places. There are
persons who are noticed III all public
assemblies for their self-important airs,
their evident effort at display, and Their
desire to attract admiration. But they
are cgotistic, cold and proud They
have given pleasure to none. They
only strutted as a peacock would. and
attention. Another enters,
quiet, unassuming, but cheerful and
bright. There is an inviting smile that
draws kindly attention and friendly
feeling. Soon many gather round to
be entertained with conversation and
del GIFTED with the agreeable manner
the %eniality of this person. Yet his
manner was unStudied, and he was
merely affable. His influence, howev-
er. was kindly and permanent. The
sunshine he scattered mellowed the
soil of other hearts for weeks to come.
Which WAS really polite? Which was
the true gentleman or lady? Evidently
the one who scattered seeds of kind.
And the lesson is well worth our learn
ing. Right conduct in pui lie looks to
the happiness of others hiIadcIDhiu