West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-05-15
huMoR AND WRATH.
Tho Practical Jokes Played by one Candi
date on Another.


Tho Practical Jokes rIsyed by one Candl
date on Another.
Ex-senator Davo Walker m Con.
gresham Guntcr have afforded muck
amusement To the people Of Northwest
ArkanSaw Walker is playful gcntlc-
man. IA gentleman of ino humorous
conception; and. il Is said that hc would
swim river during freeze TO play u
Joke on "A fricnd. Guntcr is not a
joker. lie has boon known to laugh,
but he does not enter into dcmonstrativc
mirth with that haw haw and forgctful-
ness of surroundings which oharao-
tories Little Dave"
One day Walker and Guntcr set out
together on n political campaign
Walker had left home rather hurriodly
and had not put on clean shirt Some
of his friends say that he would not
have put ON clean shirt even though
every circumstance had bccn favorable.
Guntcr wore new shirt, covered with
gloss that was dazzling To the mortal
eye, Walker was not long i'm doyising
plan to rob the shirt of it's shine.
When the two men reached stream,
Walker said.
Counter, suppose we 90 in bathing.
This is n beautiful place
Guntcr agreed and stripping of they
went down into the water Walker
was the first to como out Taking up
Guntcr's shirt, he had begun to put IL
ON, when Guntcr moving toward him
exclaimed:
Hold on, Dave you've got my shirt 4"
Walker, stepping backward, stumbled
accidentally, of course and fell into
| the stream. When hc came out.
Guntcr's shirt looked Ike a harvest
field handkerchief Gmtcr ravcd lie
cursed Walker. lie sworo that lac would
not travel with him.
"lIang it, Guntcr, didn't you sec il
was an accjdontP'
Guntcr wouldn' speak 10 him. Dur
ing two days travel they rode to-
gcthCr in silence, but Walker ELECTED
| reconciliation
Guntcr's fondncss for onious is wcll-
known He would rather eat an onion
than to eat an orange. Walker secured
n large onion. lie "bcat up white
stone until il rcscmblcd salt. Then he
was prepared:
Look here Guntcr," he said, as they
rode along, what tho use OF this fool
shnessP You know | didn't intend to
ruin your shirt You know am the
best friend YOU ever had. When we
we're mt that house yondcr. thought of
you and, sec her, got you fine
onion
"Dayc, that was really kind of you, -
taking the onion "Of course have
no i'll feeling toward you. Wish | had
some salt
"Guntcr when my friends are con
ccrncd, ! mover forget anything. Here's
some salt
by George, Dave, you arc a capital
fellow. -
lie peeled the onion, dipped it into
the pulycrizcd stone. and bit off u
mouthful. Dave whipped up his horse.
For five miles Guntcr chased him, yell
Ing like an Indian.
After awhile they mado friends again.
Dave declared that the pulvorizcd stone
had been given him, and that lac thought
it was salt.
Guntcr wore pair of very fine though
gaudy boots The legs were covered
with yellow stars aud half-moons. Gun
ter was proud of his boots and wore his
trousers i'm the tops. 80 that the orna-
mcnJj would show. Ono night the
friends stopped at n hotel Next morn
ing negro entered the room and
wanted 20 know OF Walker, who was
awake, If he wanted his boots blackcd
81 believe not Say, have you got
any tallow?'
"Yos. sab. "
"Well / want you 10 grease my
boots" pointing 10 Gunter's tawdry
leather. put on plenty of grease.
Greaso tho bottoms, and bo sure 10
grease the legs. That old follow s
boots. " pointing 70 ms own, "must be
nicely blackcd He j. very proud and
want you 10 make a good job Of il"
When the negro returned, Guntcr' e
boots were "a sight TO sec" Walker
crcpt down stairs, hurriedly ate break
fast and rode away. For DAYS and
nights Guntcr followed him. Ho had
armed himself with a gun, and, from
his hat q small black flag noatcd
Walker escaped and went TO the United
states Senate. Gunter went ~ Con-
grcss. Hence the recent trouble be
tween the two houses. - ArkuRSd,O
TruUc'Cr.