davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-04-09
THE RECENT ELECTIONS.
A Close Vote in Chicago - Republicans
Threaten Contest.

CHICAGO, April S.--very few changes have
been made in the estimates upon yesterdays
election returns. The Democratic papers claim
Harrison's election by from $50 to 400, while
Republican papers assert that the official count
will show that Smith carried the city. The
COMMITTEE of public safety" composed Of citi-
zens, declare that they have evidence in hand
of frauds at various Of the polling places, and
number of prosecutions will follow. Although,
no arrests had been made up to this evening,
it is declared that in the Third precinct of the
Fourth ward the returns give Harrison 1872 and
Smith Go, while those who kept tally declare the
figures should be reversed. 1t is also claimed
that returns from the Seventh precinct Of the
Tenth ward indicate that they were tempered
with. In the Tenth precinct of the Thirteenth
ward voters are willing to swear that the num-
bers of their ballots were greater than the num-
bers returned as having been voted. The COM
mittee desired to place a watch over the
ballots, but they were refused admittance
to the rooms where the ballots are locked up
They state that they will appeal to the courts
for an order authorizing that men be placed to
watch the ballots. The published statement is
made that VIM. j. Gallagher, convicted of
balot-box stuffng was at the polls yesterday.
Gallagher had no right to vote and was person
ating another man.
conference of the citizens committee and
the Republican managers was held this after
noon to decide whether they would contest the
returns from the various precincts, and it was
understood that they would do so.
One of the morning Republican papers here
declares that Joseph G. Mackin, now under
sentence to the State prison for ballot box stuff
ing but out on bail, drove to nearly all the
voting precincts in the First, Second and Ninth
wards, yesterday. and engaged in conversation
with some of the working politicians at all the
voting booths.
The Daily News, which this morning declared
that Harrison had been elected mayor according
to the apparent face of the returns by 334 plu
rality, is out with a special edition, stating that
Sidney. Smith has probably been elected
even by the face of the returns, and
that on official count of the ballots he will be
found to have carried the city by fully 1000
majority. The same paper charges that great
frauds were committed in the First, Second and
Ninth Wards. Neumeister, Democrat, is now
believed to have been elected city clerk. The
Prohibition vote for mayor was SO. The Demo
cratic papers claim that Harrison's majority is
400
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
Growth q the Homely s'0uber. =
lGt. Louis !obe-Democrat.l

kGNs 1AJSAsn usUuyS- A1clu0CB01sl
Tho peanut grows very much like q
sweet potato, and the vine resembles the
red clover. Whenever new leaf starts
out . tendril Is formed, which extends
into the ground. The average yield Il
from thi1y to seventy bushels to the
aero, and there are about 100 peanuts
on each vine. Tho article il . good one
Tor speculation, and money can be made
BY judicious investments, because pea-
nuts do not dcterioratc with age and
keep their taste for years. Tho expense
Of raising them is twice that Of corn.
The reason Of this il that the fruit must
be picked by hand, which is slow
and laborious. Tho average annual
consumption Is over 1000, 900 bushels.
The experiment Of cultivating peanuts
10 California WAS recently attempted
with signal success, and tho Golden state
will probably become q rival Of Virginia
a. : peanut-producing locality. A few
are raised in North Carolina, Missouri,
and Arkansas, but the two states re-
ferred to grow nine tenths of all the
peanuts used in tho world. a good
deal OF skill is required in handling
gubers. They are shipped in the rough,
and the process Of cleaning and grading
= done BY tho wholesale purchaser. Tho
peanuts arc emptied from sacks Ia q
large bin and arc run through fan
which separates the chat. Passing
down through another fan, the light
nuts are thrown aside and the meaty
ones run along groove, when tho
black aud inferior stock is picked up b,
gir1s, and whcI the nuts reach tho pack.
ing.room thcrc are two grades. Dur.
ing tho various pro 'esses through which
they mn, sent the nuts become clean and
polished. OF course they must b
roasted before people will eat them.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
Havana's Amns~snents.
Havana lx.t.sr.i

At m earlier hour tho bull. fights hal
commenced ut the lila do Tors, at
Rig 4. u small town across the hay, and
six loor bulls were slain amidst the
strains Of military hand and the OK
cited plaudits and cheers Of = frantic
mob They relieved their feelings b.
throwing cigars, hats, and swectmeafs
to gaudily attircd matadors. while six
little mules, covered with ribbons and
bells, were dragging tho still bleeding
victims out OF tho arena, and tbs
cruelty wounded horses Of the picadors
wero being patched up sufficiently to
stand another g0ring, and tho bandelOree
were preparing fresh darts with are.
works TO cprago the new bull. Il was q
sad sight to REQ women and little
children applauding tho disgusting spec.
taclc with as much vigor as tho men.
In tho evening the center Of attraction
was ut tho RomcriA Asturians. . larco
Spanish picnic, whore all tho provinces
of the peninsula wcrN represented b.
booths, arches, and troops 81 coetumcd
men, women, and children. Tho national
dances and games wcre interesting The
fav0rile DAME Was In lDanSa Cuhaaa,
which consists of series Of short atops
aud undulatory movements Of the body
10 tho time Of 4 slow waltz. One Of tho
games was rather pitues iue. Fifty Or
100 persons would Join hands and
slowly stop around in = circle expanding
and contracting in time with i weird
chant, moving the arms up and down,
while two or threc in tho center regu-
lated tho time. Tho grounds were
lighted BY electricity, and along tie
si.lcs were places for the sale Of o.,
cakes, aqua d INTO. apuro rum. and
aqua di cocoa, most refreshing bcvor-
RteC.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
oEoaoe AUGUSTUS sAlA
4 1lsa - Varied Career - Rxtesordans
ssy Versatility.

4 DGsa ~ Varied f,.v.e, - 1~e-.~-s..-
80 y.,..sr..-
iDo.ao1 ..oaeJ
- most versatile ana attractive writer,
Mk. Sala y fortunate 10 having at bis
eomnana % many resources, Tor every
sI.'c.c " ING correction y turned 70 ac-
COUNT, an0 serves its purpose. There u
no DsAof roao man England. and It y
kc;y que g nv untiflng spirit q work
t ~. Y = sOs0 % &c % mucn, ana %
nsse sucn = rcmafksDIe knowledge on
mAny o. sne great SUBJECTS which In
tcieM mankind.
bctWeen tne ages OF and :, " says
- ~ LOnoOn wofld ~ 10 mention Of
60 .moIe w ccicDElt,cs q the time,
49,. ~ sOsoiuse'y Dino ~ reason Of :
sGsc Innsmmst0ty sstack; ana % he
cVu,o noIIncr rean nor write. This Wa
ne sImc Wnen dear sister read to him
W tno noul, ana when his wonderful
ENJOY nad 10 early training. Fairy
stores, novels, history, travels, scores
g poo.s supposed 70 b beyond the
comP!cnens.on OF children, were read
ana iiacnea @ greodiIy. 20 that when
suo cnl,d o. ~ was sent with eycsigbt
fes1orcd 20 the College bourbon at
raris e went Ignorant, i = true, Of
sOme INNS? most young people know,
vos vefscd ~ tho Ways Of particularly
.l9ns ana cneeEIul world, and with HE
49, sOIoo Win tho facts.
.sncses ana images be had
Iaao nm own from hearing
~ 49, 49, g MN, wnen Ms reflective
snu menmonsc IacuItacs were his chief
rssr sn0 solaCo. AZ tho college no
sssyoa swo 49,, having 2: form fel.
x,.. Nv ~ g Casimif DcIavlgne and
I4ato Dumass the younger, When
~. oa sway tne nfst prizo 70
p n.ssy ana sno nIst 70 mathematics. A.
80; .Ja n .Ou 81, Lesla.ozzlan school %
Wnlcn Young Saia next went, he was
s se;. succssau. ~ ne public o..
-. .i' .,.,S.I. - lGsS nO asnon:sIso9 sev,
49,! p ~. Am. " natncmstIc, Paayeo
~ -, ,,'or 1871. .0c..cu e snac.eOnDh
.I.,,;. Mc no Paa,s OF nsutus I'D
m.n - sssa..s - i:..sm l leu ~ u se1
, N.a;.;n Hs,n Aoi,oro ~
s,,hn. SdM Ma'sU n DGsloo taxing
r.s !" .nd ~ :. III, ~ v ~ Iy,an'
as,.r ~. =. .oh. nHe.Pn. 2. loIen
crr ' ,s,,,, a'o ~ ycal ssIa became
-. n rr ,., ~u., ~ uccessl.y GAIT nc
Iss. 49, ncai = yvutn csficsturIst,
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
Dns III tbs Eye.
tNew York Dlal.l

When, in travelling, \ bit Of dust gets
Ii tho eye, It is best 10 remain quiet for
q little. as the tears may wash It away.
Tho flow Of tears may lc promoted from
time to time BY attcmp ing to open the
eye. Blowing the nose violently assists
the operation.
Tho head of a pin, covered with tho
end of pocket handkerchief and moist.
ened with saliva, may 10 moved about
between the eyeball and cyelid, and will
detach the intruder il not to firmly fixed.
Another plan is to get fellow Traveller
TO raise tho eyel:d with his finger and
then gently wips tho rcl mucous Nom
Orane within moistcncd pocket handkcr
chief, or remove tho foreign body il nc
can see it. a little piece Of paper
twisted to point is useful.
A drop of olive or castor oil intro
duccd into the eye will often allay .
pain and intolerance OF light produced
BY tinc irritant, as sand.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
AYERS
Hair VigOr

eos&a~ce ,~S<1 fhA C10es and freshness a
s. -. ...., -
youfh, faded or gray HAT 70 natural 10
brown color. or deep black, ~ may - desired.
By it, use light or red hair may % dafkeneds
thin hair thickencd, and badness often,
$3.50. ~. ..~. crred
sAo"s' 80 -
il checks falling o. the mar, and sstnsu'
hates weak and sickiy growth to vigof. u
- - .s..s~.w 80
prevents ana en1cs ,."'a A''a 1.',..' 80 -
heals nearly every disease peculiar 20 tno
scaIn A. Z Iadicss Hair Dressing. tbs
-. .-,,.s. 3. .a,,...... ..;,i... -,
mr. dve yendcr. tho hair soft. slossy. and
~. ..- a.,s...
eiIkcn ~ appearance anu 'mps1ts = os'scssss
agreeable, and lasting perfume.
--.. .. -
Mr.. C.P. bn.enEK Tftes IrDM nnDy. Fl
my =. 80. LAST Ian ny n s.. so"n's.css
falling ONT. ana I'D snoIt time caHS
nearly bald. ! uscd part OF p ~, -
ANEKs HAlk IGOR, winch sInppeu tnc .ss,r
ink q tie nair; ann s,a " 80; NV ss"~
nave how .ull .s..;.,ocd ILL., ~. ~ ~.
use II your preparation should have been
entirely bald
NV. BowEx, proprietor Of the Ne Arfhsr
lOite1 EnIairer. say $" AYES nAi ~ , ,!l
i sp.ak Of il from my own experience. LIS
Use pisTh1Ics tHG kiOWsn - ssSw 1850 .ssss
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
Chinese lslssnlgratlosa.
IProfessor Nwins.l

Had tho Chinese como In upon NJ
from tho west In their unlimited swarms,
they might have made our nation now.
criess to bless anybody very long, aud
instead Of sharing Of benefits with
others, there would have becn no bcno.
flts to be shared. II is probable that
the tide Of immigration was already too
great bef0re the question arose about
admitting the Monaghan race. Charity
must end before It reduces the giver "a
gags.
PoFter's Fleet a. Transit.
lEx-Confederate Gen. Maury.l
Next day ! received orders to 90 to
command tho department Of East Ten
nesseo. Gen. Stephenson asked me to
remain day or two, because Grant was
making : move. That night my pickets,
soon after midnight, began firing. All
Of my staff werc ut ball given by Col.
Watts and Maj. Carrill. commissioners
Tor exchange 1T prisoners. All tho
fashion and beauty of the city were
there, and all tho officers who wcro so
fortunate rs to bo invited and who en-
joycd such an occasion. Since the
sound Of rcvelry by night" in Bel
gums capital, no such startling call was
Macc as rorter's acct occasioMod that
night. All Of tho young officers (and
some Of the old ran OF 10 their com
mand2 The girls He'd in panic in thcir
thin robes and slippers Il 'ong the muddy
roads to their several nests. II was
long past midnight when the thirteen
vessels, including the transports, came
swinging around tho po Mt. thur bon.
tircs promptly lighted up tho whole
river trout and every limo and every
rivet OF every shi? coatl b, plainly
seen rs tacy moved hravcly down under
the r. Of I'LL our batteries We sunk
three transports .Ao othars got safely
By and 0ineL arrayut with thu Hart.
orb and Alha,roSA.
Then tho CONFECTIONERY was sundcrl
and there was no moro sense in con-
tinniny to keep Nicks!nr; fortified than
there would no to-day to f0rtify il to
guard tho Mississippi river
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
In &Casssl iiaavlM.
(Exc',aa:,.i

Lady Wilde, III her .Driftwood from
Scandinavia, says that 10 Hamburg sho
saw more pretty faces among the middle
classes than she had ever o0me acrose
before. The serving maidcns Of hriati.
ana are tall and slender as young pine
trees, dark haired and exccc linyl,
pretty. with splendid tooth flashing
throDGh merry smiles. In Christians, z
she observes, ono meets representatives
of all the northern nations -Swcdes,
danes, Morse AMI Germans all Of the
one Teutonic race, yet with strongly
marked differences The charact cristic
Of the Morse is strength, OF tho Swedes
refinement and culture. Of tho Danes
grace and gayety.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
In Cl,lna Town.
lSan FfAo,.isc, Afta.. /

10 TITO 0N0lCTu ln0u emma town 10
matter Of most novel interest. Out 81
Dupont ard kearny streets, 80 like Chi.
cay0 or New York, in ono minute w
turned sharp corner, left tho dull
shops behind and plunged into 1 81.
street Of, say Hong Aong, Canton.
Pekin. II Was noon Of Saturday. 1
market day, and ~ hour when Ill ths
heathcn Of Chinadom. released from
labor, wcrc tra,crsing tho street. Only,
except tho face Of or companion. t6o
tide Of humanity, obbyin9 and furry.
ing along the narrow sidewalk. was
Monaghan. Tho air was resonant with
vocal hicroglyphics livery figure over
seen on Ian. panel. folding. hook,
tea daddy, iire-cracscr paper, seemed
to have been released, and
in flesh and blond, walking
about in blu. blouse AMI pi2.tsii.
Never did an inslc. atiyablc nation .
perpctuate faithful facsimilics At It wlf.
its people. customs and fashions q tho
Chinese do IN tho grotosuMc, hiRh-
colorcd paper with which tho. cover
and wrap every article oil their lucr.
chantlisc. Tho streets were narrow.
the shops small; indosl. mot OF tic
shops on Jackson strect wcrc p,rt aide
walk part collar star, part ,e.lar aud
part hack l0d- room.
hes ripti0ns OF tho .'oss hona,s and
the theatre haze grown familiar to
everyone, aud in thu scoing Of them
there Is mnc.l disappointment. lnlvisc
ANYONE, rather, 10 reid ,elon ll0nts
delightful ien-pistlr Of tho chinese
theatre than to n,ll"ry, the dis sYstiuR
reality. rs fNr unl.rS.Qaa.l chino
town n night, trust ;s'so IL degradation,
tho dirt, thl slcNch, thp deiqrmi(y'
secn IL thu opium Joint and tho lcpett
dcu.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
Punlslsmcnt In the French Army.
Paris Coz. Newark Advertised

tFAriH Coz. Newark Aslvertlser.l
Il ID asserted TINT tho ''crapaudine -
% called from tho Victims resemblance
to toad-is still practiced in the for.
eign legion Of tho French army. The
French view the CATO nine tails to b
an institution that could only exist in
England. In the crapaudino the un-
fortunate Is trussed; fingers and toes are
tied; then he il slung from tree and
receives the bastinado in full Chinese or
Turkish form. Next, he i left exposed
to the burning sun.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
q sngtny Makes the u.eles nlGSd.


I3os ~ ..y.,..i
it Is strange how little steady prs
sure on the windp.pc affects people. OF
course it cllOkcs / EN-, but that il no
reason why they shouldn't be able to
move their limbs. They secm to los all
control over their muscles md give right
in. remember case that occurred in
Brookyillo, Me-, when | was = young
man. 4 woman, the wife Of wealthy
sea captain, threw 4 xkcn at yarn over
the top OF m o,en door ono day, and
sticking her head through the blight that
hung down doubled up hor knces % her
feet could not touch and remained 10
that position until she chokcd TO death.
Onc would naturally think that WHEN
she became unconscious her muscles
would relax and allow her feet to drop
to the floor. but such was not the case.
Hanging Or choking seems to make
every muscle rs rigid rs iron.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
Posture ~ Rclntol IN the lSenln.
Medical J ssi.Aal.

The novel Investigations made by n.
Dolaunay upon the subject OF pastures
in sitting, as regards the oxtremities,
have IL him to the interesting con. Ia.
sion that the loft brain develops before
tho right, but finally the right pre-
dominates. The Chinese, he finds, cross
tho left arm over thu r ght, while tho
Europeans cross the right over tho loft.
kobu.t children cross the right over the
left. Those who cannot work Or are
IDIOT, 10 the contrary. A great many
women cross the left leg over the right;
while among opera dancers some always
cross tho right leg over the left, but not
one crosses tue left over the right
habitually. Infants under three years
cross the loft arm over tho right, and
when older reverse the position. Men
generally cross tho right log over the
left.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
Not stated.
lphilAe1AlphlA CALL

A school for plumbers is badly needed
In Gotham. Two Of Thorn recently un.
dcrtook to close up sOme rat holes with
hot tar. They succeeded, but so stained
the floors and ceiling that bcnxine was
found necessary to romOve the marks.
While using this ono Of the mon dropped
lighted candle into tho inilammablc
liquid, and tho result was an explosion
and tirc. Whether the insurance will
bc sufficient to cover the plumbers bill
Is not stated.
Steel noodles, il delicatcly suspended,
even il not magnetic 10 begin with,
will become magnetic from tho action 81
the earth.
Valuable lIstala.
lScientinc Exchanged
There are nineteen known metHla
valued at ovor $1,000 per avoirtlupoia
pound. Tho most costly Is vanadiupl,
whic., ii said to be worth 40, 900 l
pound. ct these nineteen metals only
ono is produced or used TO any consider.
able extent. and that ID iridium, which
is valued ut 81 900 per poald. II i
sometimes, hut very sparlngly, ua0d IL
electrical experiments
Temperature ~ Soils.
!Cllica % Ti,nes
4 German experimcnter, Professor +.
Wollny, has found TINT soil Overea with
living heritage or dead vegetable matter
is colder IN summer aud warmer in
wintcs than hare soil under otherwise
similar conditions. The difference OF
temperature il greater In summer and
least IN spring and autumn. Hare sO;l
heats more quickly in tho spring aud
co0ls moro quickly in the autumn than
that covered With living or dead 70 eta.
BILE matter:
l'nclo i'sas: tn, hardest man to
shake from tho Ia DIR Is the ono WHO
mounts u r.As vt y Time.
The 1almul: Of three things te4 liz.
tie IL hotter than too much: LcavcnOd
dough, salt, modssty.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
Crystal 9tsirs.
fVer vors. .Tin.A.

Il is said that some Anglo German
manufacturers have recently turned oil
glass as hard and tough rs cast iron,
and that they intend to make OF this
hard and comparatively light crystal
stairs, street lamp posts, and gas and
water pipes. It Is thought that they
can make these and similar articles 81
glass 30 per cent. cheaper than thcy can
make them 1T cast iron.
Uncle Esek: There Is NO satire n
trnth, and yet = man can't tell tn
whole truth without being highly satiri.
al.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29

Among those who want men to stop
rO:.0ning tire mir around them q Pro.
f.s>,or Elaekia. who re- Ommcnds scotch
se.lys - n substitute for tobaYO. This
s,.si shat alarming suggestion was
IA < IN the tosrse OF concert Lee
iafc" at Manchester. ''IIow people. .
he said. AN get through their idle hours
don't know. In railway coaches and
other pla. e. ! sec number smoking
what they call tobacco. Well. whatever
may bc said about it, II is not an in
te.Irctual or moral stimnlant, and the
flavor Of it Is not at ali like the rose or
any poetic thing ] know. II II essen.
italy vulgar sort Of amusement. Nv
amusement is to sing songs. At home
am always singing scotch songs: and
abroad when those wretches arO smox.
ing hum to mys.lf .,cots VIVA IIa~. !.
y ..an's Man for a That, and song
Of that kind. Professor BlackiC then
advised his audience TO do the same.
Their souls, he informed them, would
by this means become singing birds.
and the devil won't get near hem.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1885-01-29
lChica % Ti,nes,i

The Talnul: Of three things teu liz.
tie IL hotter than too much: LcavcnOd
dough, salt, lnodssty.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1885-09-24
Intermittent scenery.

Tho scenery between Genoa and
Pisa is very beautiful, living along that
lovely coast OF the Mediterranean call
cd the hiuicra tIt Lerau5e, but there
are reasons why we shall not enjoy it
as mucf. as we would ike. These rea-
sons are eighty in number, and consist
of tunnels, some long and some short,
and ali very unceremonious in the
suddenness with which they cut off 4
view. As SOON as We sight a queer
old stone town, or a little village sur
rounded hy lemon groves. or q stretch
Of blue sea al the foot OF o:ive-covered
mountains, everything is instantly ex-
tinguislcd, and we sit in the DARK;
then there is sno; .icr view w.iiUh is Just
as aliic;,iy cit Of, and 50 :nis amuse-
u,ent roes Oh fer The whole distance,
which is oniy s little over e hundred
mics. i'liarc is al old story, oaco
told to s:orr-ioEiug king, about an
i..lIuonse barn, iii!c,i TO the top Win
wheat. and :. vast siF..IEi o. iocusis.
Tsere nas lille hole IN The Toof. and
first one locust Y>s.t III and sooh a
grain cs wheat aiI t!icn another tcoS
e grain. and after ihaL another one
took 8 grain, and then another locust
took another grain. ard thon The next
locust iooA :. ,r,.ir, ana SO Oh for eTer
SO long; until i'ie king jumped up in i
passion and criod out:
stop thai story! Take my daugh-
ter, and marry her, ana let us hear no
more Of those cireadiu! iocusts.
The tunnels Oh tio road between
Genoa and Pisa remind one very much
OF that locust story.-Fro,ss "iefSof'-
aiiy Ccasauc:ca," 7" be Frank &. .,tocS-
toa, III st Nicholas fo- Aagasst.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1885-09-24
How Ec would Announce It.

Joe Castiron is a bachelor, and not
long ago went away frcm town on q
visit, and the report became circulated
that he had been married. On his re-
turn friend pinned him down.
''How is this about you getting mar
ried?' he inquired.
"'Tain't SO" said Joe emphatically.
''Why, I'm told q postal was receiv-
ed from you, saying the happy event
had occurred, and of course that meant
you were married"
''Well, hardly. You don't reckon
I'd announce nly wedding by calling it
happy event, do you?''
81 should think most anybody
would
..Iaybe they would, cut you can bet
I'd announce mine rs 4 sad affair.
Happy event. indeed!'' And Joe
hustled of, while his friend remarked
to himself, Joe must be thinking
about the poor woman. ''-Aes'cLasst
lyGCeler.