The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1885-03-04

Written for the Ingleside by Bill Nye.l
Hon. Grover Cleveland, Presidentelect, Albany,
n. Y:
DEAR SIR-The painful duty of turning
over to you the administration OF these
United States and the key to the front door
OF the White House has been assigned to
me. You win find the key hanging inside
the storm door and the cistern pole upstairs
in the haym of the barn.
1t is expected that you will make such
changes in your Cabinet and other furniturs
IS you may see fit. The asparagus bed. how
ever, viii need little top dressing ia the
spring, and you can do a. you sse fit about
putting pillow-shams on the pie plant bed
In your attitude toward foreign powers you
will, Of course, have your own ideas, aud a
suggestion from me at this time would be
entirely out of place. Govern the people
with firm, yet gentle hand, and put a little
rat-poison down the cellar where it will do
the most good.
You will observe, on taking possession of
the administration, that the navy is a little
bit weather beaten and wormy. | would
suggest that it be newly painted in thu
spring. lit had been my good fortune to
receive a majority Of the suffrayes of the
people for the Office which you now hold
| should have painted the navy red. Sill,
that need not influence you in the course
which you may see fit to adopt, relative to
our floating aggregation of war-like worms
and blue-eyed barnacles.
am not SO much worried over the navy,
but 1t would be good plan to get a good
man to clean out the White House we'll be.
feTe much of the water is used, as foreign
ambassador was last seen around there, aud
for the past six weeks the water has had a
rich, foreign flavor.
You will find all papers in their appropri-
ate pigeonholes, and a small Jar CT cucum-
Der pickles down cellar, which were left
over, and to which you will be per.
fectly welcome. The asperities and heart
burnines that were the immediate res salt
OF hot and unusually bitter campalgo,
are now all buried. Take these pickles aud
use them as though they we're your oTn.
They are none too good for you. Yoa de.
serve them. We may differ politically, bat
that need not interfere with our warm, per-
sODal friendship.
You will find half g ton of coal left over
and an old ak in the woodshed which I
man from Ohio left with Us to have ground.
OF course, J on do not make business OF re.
ceiving presents, bat you can not refuse to
receive these as slight testimonial Of re-
gard and not in the nature of a bride. Take
them. They are yours.
The grindstole is also in the wood shed.
1t is very much Gus of repair, and as your
chief relaxation will consist in turning this
grindstone, either for the purpose of grind
Ing the ak of some great man, or revolving
~ "AAO tAO pCOpAC AO40 buCAI uO5c d,hlu5l
it it would be well, perhaps, to get now
one at once.
There are many affairs of great moment
which have not enumerated in this brief
letter, because felt some little dslicacy and
timidity about appearing to be at ali dicts-
torial or officious about a matter wherein
the public might charge me with interior
epce.
hope you will receive the foregoing in a
friendly spirit, and whatever your conYic-
tons may be upon great questions of ma
tional interest, either foreign or domestic.
that you will not undertake to blow out the
gas on retiring, and that you will, in other
ways. realize the fond anticipations which
are now cherished on your behalf by a
mighty people whose appreciated eye is now
on YOU. Bill NYE.
P. S.-You will be little surprised, no
doubt, to find no soap in the laundry or
bathrooms. It probably got into the cam
paign in some way and was absorbed.
B. N.
Editor Tribune:
DEAR SR-Should the foregoing be worth
$40 to you please use it freely, otherwise, l
will pay return expressage on it. Yours
truly, BILL NYE.