davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-08-20
DIDN'T KNOW HER.

Reasons Why an Arkansaw Negro Couldn't
Swear That He Was Well Acquainted
with His Wife.
"Do you know this woman?" asked
lawyer of negro who had been sum-
moned to testify before court.
'Yas, sab, knows her."
''Do you know here very Intimately"
''No, sab, KANT say dat do"
''How long have you known her?"
"Wall, l got er 'quainted wild her er
short time before married her.
''She's your wife, ,lthen?"
"Yas, sab, sorter.'
Thought you did not know her inti-
mately?'T
'.Dat's whut jackerlated.
Il don't understand, then, how she
can be your wife. :"
wall, yer see, sab. she longs ter de
church, de singin' s'ciety, de Sisters O. de
Sacred Broom, de Daughters O. Ham
an two or three little side shows. Er
oman whut is KEEP so busy, sab, ain t
got no time ter fool er roun' home" -
ATkdRsGW Traveller.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-08-20
Composing Under Difficulties.

In October. 1887, after his return to
Vienna, Mozart produced his greatest
opera, Don Giovanni" AS late as the
night before the performance the over
ture had not been copied. Mozart
wrote on until late into the night, and
his wife could only keep him awake by
telling him the old fairy tales, such as
he loved when child; at times he
would break from laughter to tears, un-
til, growing more and more weary, he
fell asleep. At seven the next morning,
he arose and finished the score, the ink
in some parts being scarcely dry when
the copies were placed on the musicians
desks. The musicians had to play the
overture at sight, but its beauties
aroused the greatest enthusiasm both in
the players and the audience. Mozart
superintended all the rehearsals, and
inspired the singers with his own ideas
and feeling. He taught the hero to
dance minuet, and when one of the sing
ers failed to conquer his score, Mozart
altered it on the spot. At last the
Emperor bestowed court position on
Mozart, but the salary was so meager-
it was less than S500-that it was OF
little help to him, while his duty. to
compose dance music for the court, was
humiliating. Well could he reply,
when asked his income by the tax.
gatherer. TOO much for what | do" tot
little for what l could do. "-Agatha
IuraiS, in ST. Nicholas.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-08-20
HE WAS WANTED AT HOME.
The Government Not Needing Recruits to
Clean Out Indians.

The Government Not Needing Recruits to
Clean Out Indians.
He called himself Colorado Jack, and
he looked as if he might be q bad man
to handle. He was up for drunkenness.
''Do you plead guilty or not guiltyP"
asked the Recorder of the Dallas Police
Court.
You don't try man for murder be-
fore the inquests are held. do you?
Don't you take me around first to the
undertaker's shop to identify the re-
mains? That is what | have been ac-
customed to in Colorado. am always
asked to identify my corpses."
What remains? What inquest?"
asked the Recorder.
1.-The corpses of the policemen who
tried to arrest me-, )" said the desperate.
"1ou are laboring under some hallu-
cination, my friend, =" remarked the Re-
corder. "You didn't kill any police
man last night"
Then he isn't dead yet Take me
to the hospital where his life is ebbing
away. In Colorado they always take
me to the bedside of the dying police
man who has tried to arrest ME, so he
can identify me as the cyclone that
devastated him. Have YOU taken the
ante naortem of the policeman l par
TALLY destroyed last night?"
Il don't know what you are talking
about, said the Recorder; ''you were
arrested and brought to the lock up by
a little sick tailor who couldn't sleep on
account of the racket you made
80 was arrested by civilian, was
1p 0, well, that's all right. At first l
was afraid had disgraced myself |
was afraid l had allowed a squad of
policemen to take me. Any citizen can
arrest me with impunity. Civilians are
beneath my resentment. A civilian
can kick me and I'll not lay my hand
on him. You can't make me destroy
one. When l want fight Iwant some
two or three policemen to tackle
me as an inducement 1t takes five
able-bodied policemen to make it in
teresting enough for me to let myself
out. | never fish for sardines. In Col
orado they usually bring out battery
on me and company of infantry, and
then the carnage begins. but here in
Texas, as long as you keep your police
force out of my way when am drunk.
they are safe. If squad of policemen
had tried to arrest me last night they
would now be nesting in some silent
tomb, but when a civilian, and partcu-
larly tailor, comes at me | weaken
right of. Let me off this time, Judge,
| want to leave town right away. |
want to offer my services to the United
States Government to clean up those
Apaches in New Mexico. am the kind
Of man they need -
NO" replied the Recorder. "Uncle
Sam has got lots of just such officers as
you after those Indians. You will stay
here in Dallas, and help clean up the
streets.
Judge, please let me help the Gov
srnment to kill off Geronimo and his
band first.
His Honor refused to relent. and now
the would-be Apache destroyer is chop
ping down weeds with hoe in the
streets of Dallas. -TeraS Siftings.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-08-20
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

A new county in Dakota, Brown by
name, has 109 schools and ninety-seven
school houses.
General Eaton estimated that there
are now 1S,061 young women students
in the colleges of the United States
Chicago Journal
The first Protestant Episcopal ordi-
nation in America was held by Bishop
Seabury, in Christ Church, Middletown.
Conn, on August 3, 1785.-HarJord
Post.
The Law Department of the Univer-
sity of Virginia has ninety-one students
the present session. Last year there
were thirty-one graduates.
During the last nine years France
has spent nearly forty-five millions of
dollars in increasing and reorganizing
her university institutions.
The pupils of the Sandwich (Mass)
High School recently dedicated two elm
trees of their own planting to the honor
of DR.. Oliver w. Holmes and John G.
Whittier.
"A New Testament, of 1918, con-
tanning notes in Baxter's handwriting,
was lately presented to the corporation
of Kidderminster, England, where
Richard Baxter was settled in 1640.
Despite the approaching publication
of the Revised Version, the British Bible
Society last year issued no less than A.
161, 032 Bibles, Testaments and portions.
Chicago Current.
In late sermon, Sam Jones, the
Southern wonder, said: "A man needn't
burn down churches and curse preach
erS in order to stay out of Heaven. All
he has to do is TO refuse to go on the
gospel train
The benediction of the Hospital of
st. Barnabas, and the celebration of the
one hundredth anniversary of the or
ganization of the Protestant Episcopal
Church in the State of New Jersey.
took place recently. The Bishop and
large numbers of the clergy and laity
were in attendance.
The University of New Mexico has
for one of its departments an Indian In
dustrial School. The American Ms
sionary Association has voted it an an
nual appropriation of $4,000 for the
support of teachers. Congress has voted
$4,000 for the erection of buildings.
Considerable amounts have been given
by private persons.
In an article in the Journal of Ed't-
cation it is stated that the City of Mexi-
co has system of municipal schools for
both sexes, with course of study ex-
tending to preparation for professional
study. The schools occupy in great part
old converts and other ecclesiastical
edfices which have been secularized.
The salaries of teachers range from five
hundred to two thousand dollars year
In the highest institution there are
eleven hundred pupils.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-08-20
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The log drives on the Mattawaum-
keag River, in Maine. aggregate 10.-
100000 feet.
The private path of elopement
generally leads to the public highway
of the divorce court.-N Y journal.
The Dark Ages:
In those old days when wrangling men
Flung down their changing cages
There were so many knights, since then,
They have been called dark ages.
Life.
-Judge-How old are you, madam
Witness-I have no personal knowledge
of my age. and hearsay testimony. /
understand, is not accepted in this
court. Boston Beacon.
Arabs use the expression, my
shoe at you, as a token of contempt.
The same thing occurs frequently in
this country. only the shoe is used in
stead of the expression. n.-Burlington
Free Press.
1t is said that there can be found
people in this country who never saw a
postage stamp. This may be true, but
no one ever saw woman who could
not tell how another made her new
basque. Transcript.
A successful dentist in a Western
,ity is named Leggo. When he began
to pull, the other day, the owner of the
tooth which had been hunted down
cried out Hold on!"-C Chicago Cur
rent.
"A Bridgeport druggist claims to
have discovered compound which, ap-
piled to base ball, will make it lumin-
Gus. Such compound will fill long
felt want, for with its help base-ballists
can play all night long. g.-Boston Globe.
"A Burlington boy, who can initiate
q cat to the life, has secured quite
number of boots and shoes, besides other
bric-a-brac, by the exercise of his talents
under peoples windows after dark. He
supplies the whole family with footwear.
Huntington Free Press.
AT the Museum of Fine Arts. Fash
ionable Young Woman: "Is that a good
picture?" Fashionable Young Man:
I'm sure | don't know. II they had
any sense they would mark 'em, at least
in the catalogue. G might stand for
good. B for bad, and so on, you know.
Would help visitors immensely. IN
Y Sun.
Gone to the Bad Place. "Good
mornin', Mrs. Murphy" "Gcod
mornin', Mrs. Gilhooly." "Hev yer
heard the news, Mrs Murphy2" "Phat
news, Mrs. Gilhooly." THE O'Lanni-
hans has gone ter Chicago" Ter
Chicago?" Yes" ''Och hone. och
hone! | always thought that family
wud come to some bad ind. Toronto
Mail
W. F. Andross, of Hartford, Conn,
believes that potato bugs do service
for the farmer in pruning the vines, il
they are not allowed to go too far,
That's just our opinion exactly, but
when the bugs get into our potato field
we consider that they are going too far
So long as they confne their operation:
to our neighbours premises we haven
word to say against them.-B0Stor
Transcript.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-08-20

Eight hundred short-horn cattle,
ored in the province of Ontario, Canada,
were recently shipped from Montreal to
Great Britain.
Delta chief., 1885-04-29
Affairs ON the Isthmus.

PANAMA, April 24-This morning
strong barricades were being erected in the
streets near the Cable Company's office which
would have cut all communication of, had not
the same been summarily removed, as the
cable Office is situated In that part Of the town
near the battery and the two cuartels. Seven
hundred troops left Buena Ventura under
General Villa at / a. m, being towed in al hulk
by the Colombian gunboat Boyaca, and one
schooner, which wss towed by the Canal Com
pany's tugboat. The attack would have taken
place Immediately on the arrival Of these
troops on Sunday night or Monday morning,
but at 2:30 p. m. the United States forces ap-
peared on the scene as II by magic, three taps
Of the drum being the signal by which they
started. Three columns entered the city and
had full possession in about ten minutes
knocking down the barricades as they passed
through the streets. At the call Of the bugle
the Colombian guards withdrew into the Guar
tells.
This splendid coup de main has undoubtedly
prevented another disaster, similar to the one
a. Colon. Company A, under Captain Meeker
and Lieutenants Denny and Wood, Company
under Captain Fagin, Company under
Lieutenants Turner and Tillette, with bat
terry in charge Of Midshipman Seymour, are
guarding the various streets and wharves.
Company E, under Lieutenants Bergman and
Sutton, are guarding the cable Office. One
company was left in charge Of the barracks.
General Aizpura and his ministers were cap
tured. The troops continue under arms and
are spending the night in the city. At this
hour, 0:30 a. IN, all is quiet.
Delta chief., 1885-04-29
The Care OF Children.

BosroN, Mass. A leading medical
journal thinks it Is about time mothers
should know how seriously the health
Of children is imper,lled by the use Of
opium. and given for the cure Of colds
and coughs. The chemist Of the Brook
lyn Board Of Health. Otto Grothe, Ph
D., . graduate Of the University Of
Kiel, Germany, certifies officially that
recently harmless and yet effective ar
tcle for such complaints has come to
his notice. He refers to the newly dis
covered Red Star Cough Cure, which
he found purely vegetable.
Delta chief., 1885-04-29
France and Egypt.

CAIRO, April PAN. Barrere, the
Charge d'Affaires Of France to Egypt, has
been instructed by his Government to suspend
all official relations with Egypt, and to make a
declaration to the Government Of Egypt that
France declines to sanction the Egyptian Fl.
pancial Convention and reserves to herself
complete liberty Of action. 1t lis stated that
Egypt now offers to compromise the dispute
with France concerning the seizure and sup
preston of the Bosphore EgUptiea, by making
an apology and by admitting that her officials
violated the rights Of domicile Of the publisher.
This apology, however, is to contain ''no al
lusion to the seizure Of the Bosphore EgHptien."
Delta chief., 1885-04-29
The North Poudre Land Cana

and Reservoir company is fencing in
nearly all the land controlled by the company.
Some idea of the magnitude of the company's
improvements may be gained from the fact
that carload Of barbed wire is being used in
fencing odd numbered sections. Between
1000 and 200 acres will be put into crops in
this valley this year.
The Governor has appointed the fol-
lowing named gentlemen as the Board OF Cat
tie Inspection Commissioners: Benjamin F.
johnson, Greeley; w. H. Cramer, Deer Trail I;
R. NJ. Moore, West Las Animas; George H.
Adams, Crestone; George W. Thompson,
Durango; D. R. Tucker, Denver; Jas. Jones,
West Las Animas; James 8. Galloway, Bed
Rock; Hue Terrence, Meadow, Routt county.
The Central City Register Call says:
Monday afternoon between and O'Clock,
during the thunder storm occurring at that
time, the residence Of Mr.. Henderson, on the
north side Of Eureka gulch, was struck by
lightning, demolishing partition between the
dining-room and kitchen, and smashing desk
in the room. Mr.. Henderson and his wife had
few moments before been seated at the table
eating dinner. Their escape is miraculous.
Governor Eaton has made the follow
ing appointments for the new county Of Arch
uleta: County Commissioners, j. Hallett, j.
NJ. Archuleta, Jr. and A. s. Dutton; County
Clerk, c. NJ. Taylor; County Treasurer, Isaac
Cade; Sheriff, William Dyke; County Judge,
j. II. Voorhees,; County Superintendent of
Schools, F. A. Byrne; County Assessor, ]. p.
Archuleta, County Surveyor, c. Y. Butler :;
Coroner, DR.. N. Hover.
The sale of g., 200 acres of state
lands in the San Luis valley, which was to have
taken place on Monday last, has been postpon-
ed indefinitely. The reason assigned is that
the Del Norte Canal company owns each alter
nate section Of land and that their patent to
the land has never been perfected. A state
law requires that the title to section OF land
adjoining one to be sold must be perfect. The
legal technicality that prohibited the sale Of
the land can be readily overcome, and the tract
of us fertile land as there is in the state will be
opened to settlers.
Tho Grand Junction Ne,1s says tina
Grand valley is experiencing very peculiar
spring, or at least 1t would appear to be such
although for all we know It may be common.
Rain has fallen nearly every day for two
weeks and the adobe bottoms that have never
been plowed are wet down eight to ten inches
Irrigation will not be necessary before the
middle Of May. The weather has been little
too cold to be good ''growing weather" and
yet vegetation has been developing rapidly.
The change in the latter part Of this week
promises to give us some astonishing reyela-
tions in the rapidity of vegetable growth in
the valley.
Delta chief., 1885-04-29
the State, showing all the new counties.

the State, showing all the new counties.
The Chamber of Commerce, of Den
yer, is interesting itself IN the case Of Mr.,
Grimes, who is in jail at New Orleans for des-
troying part Of the Colorado exhibit. Gov.
Eaton has been requested to intercede in his
behalf.
The Roundup Commissioners of Dis
trict No. 9 have postponed the commencement
of the roundup from May 1 to May S, owing
to the lateness Of the grass crop. There should
be good grass for the cattle when they are
worked.
Berthe nd which has been talking ar
tesian well, is now talking water works In
stead. The planytalked of 10 to bring water
from Beasleypake,! ,!about one and lhalf miles
from town and about 100 feet above the
town. The town ID now practically without
water.
While some workmen were engaged
I'm placing monument in place in . Pueblo
cemetery.on the 18th, the tackle slipped, let
ting the stone fall to tho ground. In It's de-
scent It caught the leg Of Mr.. Rogers, who
was supervising the work, and crushed his
ankle into Jelly. His Lex wfl have to be am
The DSnvessW Western and Pacific was
sold On saeurday Tor $4,000 TO pay the In
tersst On - bonds. Il twas sold under An order
oe shs US4tsd States Circuit Court, and was
purehas61 b. M. Orahood, Of the law firm Of
Taller AOrshood, who was probably acting
Tor Tie union PaeiAe Co.
Delta chief., 1885-04-29
STATE NEWS.

STATE NEWS.
Forty tramps were run out of Pueblo
the other day.
A fatal disease has appeared among
the horses Of Leadville.
The Albany Hotel in Denver will be
opened the first Of June.
A. r. Miller, pioneer, died at Lead
villeon the morning of the 2lst.
It is feared that the late storms and
frosts have done much damage to fruit.
The State Capitol commissioners have
advertised for plans for the new State House.
The Leadville Council is in dead
lock over the question as to who shall be city
marshal.
1t is said that one out of every fifty of
Denvers' inhabitants are victims Of the
opium habit.
The late rains have placed the range
in magnificent condition and farmers and
stockmen are all happy.
Mr.. Daniel Coyle, switch engineer in
the Santa Fe yards at Pueblo, was run over
ana dangerously injured on the 18th.
A lot of thoroughbred Herefords
were sold in Denver at auction on the 22d.
The average price was fraction over 1922 per
head.
1t is claimed that if the extra pay
given to the clerks Of the late Legislature is
not legal, that the whole Appropriation bill is
worthless.
Eastern capitalists are contemplating
the erection of another large hotel in Colora-
do Springs. The Antlers has been crowded
all winter.
State Engineer Nettleton. reports
that there will be plenty Of water for irrigating
purposes this year, although not SO much as
last year.
The new City Council of Boulder
stands three for high license, four for low IL
cense and one independent. The Mayor is for
Negligence.
The execution of C. E. Hibbard for
for the murder of William Knowles at Stone.
wall, in November, 1883, took place near Trini-
dad on the 24th.
c. w. Clifton mysteriously dlsap-
peared from Fort Collins April 3, and has not
been heard from since. 1t is feared he has met
with some accident.
!, It is reported that the South Park
road viii be opened to Gunnison about the
hrst Of Nay. Atrain has not passed through
Alpine tunnel for over four months.
A number of the officials Of the G. A.
R. have gone to the san Luis valley on tour
OF inspection to determine the advantage Of
that point as location for soldiers colony,
The new observatory on Lookout
mountain, Del Norte, Is being pushed to com
pletion as rapidly as possible. The view to be
had from the observatory is not surpassed on
this continent.
The Sheriff of Arapahoe county has
just succeede in breaking up nest Of cattle
thieves and lodging two Of them in jail.
They had their rendezvous on Dry Creek about
fourteen miles north of Denver.
John NJ. Carrothers, the old man
charged with the murder OF Robert standring
and wife near Pine Bluff last November, was
released from Fprison at Golden, the Grand
Jury having failed to indict him.
Denver had another snow storm on
the night of the 2ad, which eclipsed anything
- ~
Delta chief., 1885-04-29

Now that kite-tims IL 1t hand the
small boy 10 raising up his voies In fa-
vor Of underground wires.
Delta chief., 1885-04-29

Ii Il not too often the case that many
excellent physicians who arc greatly
devoted to the code, wsuld prefer thst
their patients should die rather than
that they should recover health BY the
use Of any remedy not recognised M
der their codep
The Dawson journal., 1885-09-17
An End to Bone Scraping.

Edward Shepherd, of Harris
burg, Illinois, says: Having re-
ceived 50 much benefit from Elec-
trio Bitters, l feel it my duty to
let suffering humanity know it.
Have had a running sore on my
leg for eight years; my doctors
told me I would have to have the
bone scraped or leg amputated. 1
used, instead, three bottles of
Electric Bitters and seven boxes
Bucklen's Arnica Salve, and lay
leg is now sound and we'll"
Electric Bltters are sold at fifty
cents bottle, and Bucklen's Ar
Mica Salve at Is cents per box by
Crouch Bros.
The Dawson journal., 1885-09-17
The Taylor County Grand Jury Goes
For an officer.

owe further find, from the best
information that we can obtain,
that oul ordinary has, by his hab-
its of drunkenness and practices
of staying in his Office day after
day aud night after night drunk,
not only brought reproach upon
himself officially, but also upon
the county. We have been una
BILE, from the above state of facts,
to get into his Office or at his books;
therefore we are unable to make
any report thereon, and we think
without reformation on his part
the good of the county, the safe
ty of the court house and records
of the county demand his resigna-
ton or expulsion from Office, and
in answer to all those who may
ask why we did not take a more
decided action, will sta te that we
were informed by the solicitor
general that he (the ordinary
was allowed five days notice by
law before we could commence le-
gal proceedings against him" >
Butler Herald.
The Dawson journal., 1885-09-17
T. Y. MARTIN.
Home Council.

Ne take pleasure in calling your atten-
W tion to remedy so long needed in
Carrying children safely through the crit
ical stage Of teethng. 1t is an incalcula-
bic blessing to mother aad child. II you
are disturbed at night with sick, fretrul,
teething child, use Pitts Carminative, il
viii give instant relief, and regulate the
bowels. and make teething safe and easy,
It will cure Dysentery and Diorrhea-
Pitts Carminative is an instant reli ef for
collie Of infants. 1t will promote digestion.
give tone and energy to the stomach and
bowels. The sick, puny, suffeiing child win
soonbecomc the fat and fEolicing joy of the
household. it is very pleasant to the taste
and only costs 25 cents per bottle SOAd
by druggists.