Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-01-22

II a roller SKATE with an all brake attach-
mont.
If,omebody will lend William Ii. Eng
lish postage stamp he will apply for the
treasury portfolio.
\ Norwich Conn woman won dollar
the other day by eating four soda biscuits
inside Of five minutes.
Col. ". H. Hogeman, of Charleston, died
% Tuesday night of last week. He enjoyed
E State reputation, though young in years.
Fifty million clothespins are made in this
country annually, and yet American women.
as a rule, have small mouths.
The President has nominated Samuel 7.
Mccormick to be internal revenue collector
for the district of West Virginia.
\ young gentleman wishes to know which
is proper to say on leaving young lady
friend after late call goodnight or good
evening? Never tell lie, young man, say
good-morning.
very sensible physician Of great eNpe-
rience once assured the writer that it was
of no more use to argue with an angry wo-
man than % debate with a northeast snow
storm
It is well enough TO mitpeoplc to keep
on discovering gold mines, but when you
arc asked to buy stock Is the time for You
to close your left eye.
A Cork Ireland firm has sent the New
Orleans exposition silver model of Shan
don church. Cork-immortalized in Father
Prout'. poem The Bells of >handon.'
The oldwhitc oak domicil in franklin 81
New York, which was built in 100 and used
by Geo. Washington as headquarters, was
partly destroyed by fire last week.
The Va. Nd. stockholders rendered Con-
gresham Barbour, the retiring President,
dinner in New York last week aud sent
Mrs. Barbour superb silver service.
Quinine pills tone grain each to the
number of nearly five hundred can, it is sta
ted be made out OF an ounce OF that drug,
which has been selling recently at eighty
eight cents per ounce.
Fat man who is something in hurry
-" I'll give you - to get me TO the station
in three minutes" Cabman with proyok-
ing slowness) ~" well, Sorr, YOU might cor
rupt me but you can't bribc that horse"
An intelligent American, on being asked
what was the tendency Of the New England
liquor laws prohibiting the sale Of intoxica-
ting drink to all exceP' bona idc travellers,
replied that they tended toa considerable
deal Of bona fidc travelling"
Sportsmen notice: the game laws Of this
State allow the killing Of partridges be-
tween October 10th and Dee. 3lst; wild tur-
keys and pheasants from September lst to
February lst wild geese and ducks from
Nov lst to April lst.
The London Ciuycb Adrocaic states that
a S75, 100000 fortune is awaiting the legal
heirs Of John Sands who came TO America
in the 18th century with two sons and settled
at Amityyillc, Berks county Penn. One Of
the sons, Abijah, remained here: the other
went back to England Henry Sands Of
Reading, Pa. is one of the heirs.
We would advise all our readers who think
of making Vegetable or Flower Garden
this spring to send to ID. VI. Ferry & Co.,
Detroit, Mich, and get their valuable and
beautiful Seed Annual This house is en-
tirely reliable, and if you wish to get exact
ly what you order you cannot do better than
intrust your orders to them.
Another Inspector, finding class hesita-
ting over answering the question, with
what weapon did Samson slay the Philis-
tines" And, wishing 10 prompt them,
significantly tapped his own cheek, and ask
ed "What is this?" and his action touch
ing "the chords ofmemory,' the whole class
instantly answered: "the jaw bone Of an
ass"
Confectioner: Remember that all the
French candy is in this case" New clerk:
How do yougetit fresh?" Fresh? Why,
we make it. of course" But thought
French candy was imported" "Oh, no.
we make it,ursclvcs." But why is it cal
led French candy? DO the ingredients
come from France ?" Well don't know
Maybe the plaster Of Paris does"
Within few years the manufacture Of
cheese has increased in this country from
100000 pounds to 4jO,OO0,0OO. But
cheese is as high priced as ever. compared
with other things, and the market seems no
nearer being glutted than it was years ago.
More than that, it IS still at current quota
tions, a food 50 valuable that il should be
much more generally used than j, has ever
been
Major Stout Ia Republican, to Col. Slim
a Democrat Il say, kurnel, has President
Cleveland replied to your application for the
Collectorship Of the port Of Galveston?
Col. Slim-I haven't had any reply from
Grover yet. can't understand the delay.
Major Stsut-it's hardly time for you to
hear flom Cleveland. | applied to Presi-
dent Arthur for a Post Office three years ago,
and he hasn't answered my letter yet.