The Penn's Grove record., 1885-09-12
MRS. PILTON'S PARTY.

"What are you going to do with
yourself from now till Monday, old fell
low-eh?"
ooh, the usual thing, l suppose?"
"And what may the usual thing bep''
"Well, as it's a Patti night, l may
drop In at Covent Garden this evening,
turning up at Hatton Garden to-mor-
row morning-just as good music at
one place as the other, you know-and
at the Zoo to morrow afternoon per
haps."
"And this afternoon"
"Oh, | shall stroll into Princes as
likely as not, after which shall call in
at the ~pleasantest house | can think of
for five o'clock teal"
you'll be enjoying yourself all the
time, l suppose Montie?'
Enjoying myself" l echo, the nov
city of the thing striking me. "My
deliciously primitive friend Arthur,
enjoyment is not a word of the period;
we kill time-that's ALL"
swell, II way Of killing time is as
good as another, my dear boy; so sup
pose you STAY that venerable old gen.
tleman down at Roselands-my little
box instead"
Visions of the unknown Mrs. Pilton
arise before my mental eyes, and | be-
gin languidly to cast about for a decent
excuse.
"You're quite too good, my dear
Arthur; but really"
Nonsense, man; you're coming, and
there's an end of it'll Why, you've never
seen my better half, and yet I've been
married eighteen monthsI 1nl promise
you as good entertainment as you ge6
at the two Gardens, Princes Zoo. ket-
tle-drums, and the whole of the tread
mill put together-fresh air, my boy,
your lungs full of 1T, strawberries just
gathered. bowls of cream, eggs fresh
from the hen-house, purposely laid for
you while you're shaving before break
fast. flowers on the table with the dew
still on them, the lark in the morning,
the nightingale In the eveningl'
l groan in spirit; | loathe all things
pastoral, and my friends enthusiasm
grows fatiguing.
"My good fellow" | reply, sitting a
yawn, ''your hospitality Is delightful;
but | positively must decline to intiict
SUCH"
snow don't make any excuses" in.
terrupts Pilton. at will be less trouble
to get your Gladstone ready than to
argue. III call for you in half an
hour
So saying, Arthur hurries away. and
l wake up to the dreary necessity of ac.
cepting his invitation. And this inter-
ference with the liberty of a subject is
what my friend calls hospitality |
roll a cigarette, light fl, tW irl my nous
tache, and resi- n myself to the inevi-
table.
Presently back comes Arthur for his
unwilling captive.
"All readyp That's right Kate
knows you well by name, for I've de
scribed all my friends to her so often
that she Is well acquainted with all Of
them. There Is my conceited friend,
my cheerful friend, my serious friend,
my economical friend, and I've called
you-my bored friendl' he concludes,
as he laughingly administers a hearty
slap on my back.
Sand | shall call you my energetic
friend" l responded; "but will Mrs.
Pllton be prepared for
"FreparedP Prepared for a dozen. if
| like to take them down. Look sharp,
old fellowi We've only Just time to
catch the tram"
AS he is speaking we have descended
from my chambers, and, halling a han
som, find ourselves being whirled away
TO the station in less time than 1t takes
to tell about it. When we are fairly in
the tram, l begin to realise all that. is
before me. l have a forboding that
Arthur and his helpmate are a brace of
turtledoves who everyday go through a
systematic amount of billing and COO
ing. the enjoyment of which is greatly
intensified If they possess an audience
and on this occasion l am doomed to
form one. / am conscious of looking
rueful, and accordingly study Punch
hoping that the contemplation oft may
alter the expression of my countenance.
"Let me see; you have a ~smalLfami-
ly have you not, Arthur" ask, as
We draw neal to the Arcadlan delights
he has promised me.
YES small 7" he answers cheerily.