Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-19
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE is woman in Canton, China, whose
soles are 90 small that she can stand on silver
dollar That's nothing. We have seen men
in this country who's souls are so small that
they can stand on 10 cents.-Btn0hdmDtO Re
DubItedB.
AN eye to economy: Young Husband-'I
believe would like nice turtle steak for
dinner" Young Wife lOf a thrifty DISPOSE
tionl-"I am afraid turtle steaks are rather
expensive, dear. Wouldn't you be satisfied
with mock-turtle steak?"-Aeao York Sun.
"HUsH, JOHNNY" admOnished the mother
as the scion OF the family grew clamorOus for
something to eat, you must remember that
older people take precedence at the table"
LET 'em take preceedns; | want some Of the
mufdns," shouted J0hnny.-Btn0hdmtO Re
publican.
THEY were talking Of a politician who, as
one of the young gen lemea affirmed, never
Opened his mouth without putting his foot
into 1t The Chicago girl looked at her ped
ais as in an distracted manner and was heard
20 remark: "How ridiculous!' -BoSton
Transcript.
CANT you give me another pail TO put
your milk inY' said the milSman to the girl
the other morning why, what's the matter
with that one you've got IN your hand"
why, it leaks. I want one that's water
tight" The girl went to get one, but she
thought much as she went Yonkers STATES
man.
SYMPATHETIC FRIEND-"Can't you do a lit
He has just got to work again after a three
months illness, and is very hard mp" Brown
-"Certainly will. ] am always glad to help
fellow beings in distress. | am going up the
fare on the cars instead of buying ticket"-
Neo0 York Times.
CHILL the autumn winds are blowing,
And all troubled is the soul;
For, as yet there is no knowing
What will be the price of coal.
And the furnace gins to turn up
In 4 mind disturbing form,
As we think the coal twill burn up,
And yet fail the house to warm.
Boston Gazette
'I'vE DREADFUL HEADACHE, Bromley. 1t
was that crescendO outhurst OF Miss FentOn's.
pll never offer TO turn the music for her again"
why didn't you beat a retreat, Mr.. Darrin-
gerp" ION, that wouldn't have been polite,
you know" ''WeI, but you are here in the
clio * room while she is still at the piano in
the parlor." Yes, watched my opportunity
and slipped out between the bars. "-PhiEd-
delDhiG CAL.
A WRITER IN a scientific journal, speaking
of the great vitality of the churchyard or
cellar beetle, SAYS he once made four attempts
TO kill one by immersng it in spirits of wine
for periods Of increasing lengths, the last
being for twelve hours, and each time, upon
being removed from the fluid, II revived and
lived. He might have killed the insect in
less than a second by placing it on a marble
step and hitting It smart blow with ham,
mer; but we don't suppose he thought OF that
-NOrristoloa Herald.
A WILD SPECIMEN of the native Virginian
entered stanton the other day and asked
credit for some tobacco ana sugar at
grocery, promising TO pay in Six weeks.
son what do you base your expectations of
being able to pay in that timer" asked the
grocer.
ION coon SKINS" was the prompt reply.
"But you may not catch any coOns."
80, as 80 that I've got seventeen Of 'em
already plugged up in boiler tree, and am
only waiting for the fur to git prime'
he got the goods Wall Street Netcs.
THE WEDDING GUEsTshad departed, and the
happy couple were making ready to 20 to the
iepOt, when the newly made father law
approached the newly made SOB, and said:
Julius, didn't place a check for $780, eco I'M
der Hattie's plate, as is often done" "No.
sir; YOU didn't" ''Iustead Of that julius, /
credited the amount TO you on deal in
wheat Its 80 much margin put up by you,
you seev' Eyes. sir. In case you call for
more margin, and I can't put up, you'll
you'll" "ClOse you out, of course, Julius.
Goodby and may the LORD bless both my
dear children. - Wall Street N6i0s.
"wuL you pleaee give me a solid cent for
this penny with hole in it?' he asked at q
fruit stand.
"Pll take it for an APPLE" replied the wo-
man.
"But | can't do that. must have the
money"
what TORI"
"Why, my brother Ben WAS left to tend
peanut stand no here and he got temporarily
insane and emhezzlet cents. The man saws
he'll knock OF one on account OF Ben's youth.
but he's got 10 have the other by O'cloc or
our name will be dragged in the mire. Please
DO"
gha ala - D.,..os, Vrss Drsos