davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

An. exchange saws 'the Northern
Pacific this year will give moro atten-
ton to immigration to Dakota and less
to Oregon and Washington Territory
than last year" Recent rate rednc-
tions in favor Of points hevond do not
seem TO indicate it. But it may be the
road has in store grand surprise.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

There are nearly 11,0N officers and
snhorlinatas ia the department Of the
New York city and county government.
Tie highest salary paid is to the city
chamberlain, who receives $25 900 out
Of which he is required to pay his
deputy and clerks.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

A short time ago Mr.. Cleveland re-
rigned his office of Governor Of New
York. and it has since been remarked
that he seemed very cheerful for a
man who was ont of a job for all win
tor. He can doubtless afford to loaf
the rest of the season, and he has a
reputation of being rather careless
about the condition Of his family.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

3 John-I.. Sullivan has decided totake
q trip to Europe. although there;are
soma rather toughtcitizana across the
pond, he will probably not take a body
ruuri. " -
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

A Kentucky editor reports that din
ring the past Ave years, he has record
ed l $40 murdersand homicld es in that
state, and there have been less than
twenty executions. ....
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

The managers Of the New Orleans
exposition ask for additional assis-
tance from the government tdgtas er-
tent Of half 4 millinnsiollars. K,
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

The city council Of Keokuk Iowa, is
licensing saloons, and large number
are running. Prohibition doesn't pro-
hibit. zs 4 tsss5s I. + ..
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

The Missouri river has broken up 3
short distance above Gilpin, Montana
territory. :5. 555, u: q
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

An extra session of congress is now
talked Of. 555..s IS
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-02-13

sportsmen are OF the opinion that
there will not be a. much base ball
:playod tile coming season as ia, 1884.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26
Mental COrruSCationS.

Ignorance is voluntary misfortune.
Some wits in jest are fools in ear.
nest.
Bare walls make gadding house.
wives.
The lass with many wooers fares the
worse.
One of the sublimest things in this
world is the plain truth.
More hope for fool than for one
wise in his own conceit.
How happy he whose foot fits the shoe
which fortune gave him.
Confidence in another mans virtue
is no slight evidence of mans own.
Animals are such agreeable friends!
They ask no questions; they pass no
criticisms.
A head properly constituted can ac-
commodate itself to whatever pillows
the vicissitudes of fortune may place
under it.
1t is more disgraceful to mistrust
ones friends than to be deceived by
them; our mistrust justifes the deceit
of others.
Remember the wheel is always in
motion, and the spoke which is upper
most will soon be under; therefore mix
trembling with all your JOY.
Every adjuration of love, every oath
of fondness, always contains this men
tai reservation: ''As long as what you
are now"
Use makes practice easy; and prac-
tice bepetS custom, and a habit OF
things, to facilitate that thou couldst not
conceive attainable at the first under
taking.
Kind looks, kind words, kind acts
and warm handshakes-thes are Sec
ondary means of grace when men are
in trouble and are fighting their un-
seen battles.
Married couples resemble a pair OF
shears, SO joined that they cannot be
separated, often moving in opposite di-
rections, yet always Furnishing any one
who comes between them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26
dot NhaS ALL"

81 pellet I vhas shwindled vonce
more, " he said to the Sergeant at the
Central Station yesterday rs he was
asked to take chair and report his err
rand.
"How?"
''Fhell, vhas in my blaze apoudt
two hours ago vhcn two strangers vhalk
In. and one of 'em says to me:
''Shake, [ hat bet on you. [ know
you Yhas a great man TO hat confidence
IN human nature, und | bet 50, eaten
CUP, dot you Will lend me feety cent -
''Fhell, [ dunno. I nefer see him pc
fore, but if somepody bet So on me
doan' like him to lose it, und maybe he
also divide What he wins"
''And you let him have it?''
''Vhell, | hat some confidence in hui
man nature. He vhalks off NIT my
feety cent, und my White says [ vhas
der biggest fool in Detroit >
''And what do you want of me?"
81 like to know if you pellet like my
vhife?"
Yes, sir, I do! You'll never see
your money again
MY son Carl says 1 peter soak my
headt. / like to know if you think dot
vhay?"
Il do"
lind my brudder-law says [ make a
tine lunatic asylum all by myself. Fhas
he correct?"
He is"
''Vhell, dot vhas all. If | vhas
right | get madt und clean oudt der
shanty. If L yhas wrong | 90 home
und keep still until MY headt vhas
soaked enough to lose my confidence
IN human nature. Dot vhas all-good-
day. Detroit Free Press.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26
Seen Through "a Window.

She sat at a window on a public
street, and day after day the crowd
who passed saw her at the sewing-ma-
chine. The old men mentally remarked
that she was perfect lady, and the
young men voted her the rival of a
June rose. If she had raised her eyes
to the window she might have met the
plying gaze of various old baldheads
and the admiring glances of legions OF
Washers, but she never did so. Noses
were wiped and handkerchief waved
within a foot of the glass, but she
hemmed, and tucked, and gathered,
and plated as if utterly unconscious of
the existence of the outside world.
It is probable that 500 men glanced
into that window in the course of the
day, but the sewing-machine never
stopped humming on their account.
Things had been going on this way
for months when, only the other day, a
widower with a heart full of pity for
the unfortunate got himself up regard
less of expense and boldly entered the
place. The charmer was there alone.
With melting soul he approached the
sewing and laid his heart upon
it. That is, he coughed, gurgled,
stammered, and inquired if she would
not prefer to boss $15, 900 brick-house
rather than to make shirts for IS cents
per day.
The charmer rose up. She had a
short leg. That side of her face which
the public had never seen displayed
three moles and bad scar. That eye
which the public had never gazed into
contained a squint, and she had bad
front teeth. She made grab at a
yard-stick and said something about
settling an old buffers hash pretty in
formally quick" and the widower
broke for outdoors. His sympathizing
and palpitating heart was left behind
him as he went, but the charmer picked
it up and followed after him and heaved
it into the gutter with the remark:
Eve just been aching for a chance
to break some of your necks, and don't
you put your hoofs in here again if you
want to see next springs dandelions. "
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26

which, when he last saw it, was a
small forest of chimneys. The popula-
ton of the town came to the depot to
see the old warrior, who stood on the
rear platform of his car shaking hands
while the train stood still. One man
in the crowd sang out: Hello, Giner'l;
you amt forgot US, has you?" 'Not
quite, my friend; | was here about
twenty years ago. But what have you
done with all your chimneys?' 80,
they're standin' yet. We have just
built new houses around EN-" The
General laughed heartily at this. He
said afterwards it was one of the best
evidences of the rebuilding of the
South.
Clocks are comparatively a modern
invention. The sundial was the first
time measurer. Before that, time was
regulated by the length of shadows
cast from fixed object. The book of
Job refers to it. Then there was the
water clock, first used by the Chaldeans;
they were also used in Babylon, and
the Romans had them in $50 B. c.
Calmet speaks of the custom of the
Cistercian monks being called to their
devotions in 1920, by striking clock
Dante, who died in 1921, also refers to
one. In 1864 Henry de Wyck erected a
clock Fin the palace of Charles Y, of
France. Richard Harris, of London,
invented the pendulum in 1641. Clocks,
as we have them, originated in Eng
land. In 1890 wooden clocks were first
made by James Harrison, of Water
bury. CT. Gradually the demand
sprang up for a better article, until now
we have clock factories manufacturing
this indispensable article by the thou
sand, at prices ranging from 81 into the
thousands.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26
A Lord Who Forgot His Trousers.

During his Journey north, Lord Sails
bury, the Conservative leader in the
House of Lords, changed his costume
for full Highland rigout, intending it
as delicate compliment to the land of
the kilt. But when he looked at him
self in the glass he found that the tailor
had cut his petticoats, or whatever they
are called, too short. So he made up
his mind to put on an evening dress.
He changed his upper garments, and
then sat down for a few moments to
read up his speech. This sent him to
sleep. He only woke up with start
to find himself running into the station.
Forgetting what had happened, he
thrust out his hat and appeared at the
window bowling, and this was how he
was dressed: He had full Highland
costume as far as the waist; above was
a short and swallowed-tailed coat, and
the entire edifce was crowned with
chlmney-pot hat. upon which he had
sat down without noticing it. His
lordship's horror when he stepped on
the platform and felt the keen wind
cutting his bare legs changed to abso-
lutte agony when his valet appeared
scrambling out of the carriage with
pair of trousers in his hands, waving
them wildly, and exclaiming: MY
lord, my lord, you've forgotten these. y
London Referee.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26
In Norway.

We found ourselves anchored in a
land-locked bay which [ will call for
convenience sake Bruvsdal. There are
fifty Bruysdals in Norway, and this is
not one of them That is all which
need say. 1t forms the head of deep
inlet well stocked with dabs and had
dock, and whiting. and wolf-fsh, and
other monsters. The landscape is at
once grand and gentle; mighty snow
capped mountains cleft into gorges so
deep and dark that the sun, save in the
height OF summer, can never look into
them, while on the immediate shores
rich meadow-land and grassy undulat-
ing hills stretch along the ford for
miles, and from the estate of a pros
porous bender, who rules paternally
over his mountain valley, river runs
IN near our anchorage, which, after
leaving lake half a mile from the sea,
winds down with an eYertlowing stream
through heathery pine-clad slopes and
grassy lands covered with wild roses
and bilberries.
The cuckoos were calling in the
woods as we came up, widgeon and
wild duck were teaching their young
broods to take care of themselves; oys-
ter-catchers flew to and fro-they have
no fear of men in place where no one
cares to hurt them. Boats with tim
Der were passing down the river to a
saw-mill opposite the mouth. The lake
out OF which it flows is two miles long,
and ends in a solitary glen, closed in
by precipices at the head and on either
side. There was beauty here and grand
eur, food of all kinds, from mutton to
bllberries, now ripe and as large as
grapes. Above all, we knew by past
experience that sea-trOut swarmed in
the lake and trout in the river. The
bonders acquaintance we had made
before, and the old man, learning from
the pilot who we were, came on board at
once with his son and the schoolmaster
to pay his respects. He himself was
hale and stout, age perhaps 60, with
dark hair, which as yet had no gray
streaks in it; in manner very much OF
gentleman doing the honors of his
country and his dominions with rough
dignity.
His lake, his river, all that he had,
he gave us free use of. The fish had
not cOme up in any number yet, but
perhaps there might be some. He &C
ceIted glass of wine, being temper
ate but not severely abstemious. The
younger ones touched nothing of that
kind-to-tallers they called themselves.
They were two fne-looking men, but
without the fathers geniality, and with
a Slight tinge of self-righteousness.
The interest of the moment was bear
which they had just killed among them,
having caught him committing murder
among the sheep. As the tlocks in
crease the bears multiply along with
them, and the shooting of one is an
event to be made much of. This par
ticalar offenders head came home with
us, swinging in the rigging, and looked
so savage, grinning there, as much to
reduce the pleasure of the crew in GO
ing ashore among the bilberries.-
FTatde, IN Longnaa3a'S Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26

A street scene in Havana: A man
passes with a bunch of lottery tickets
and scissors, calling out number in a
sing-song tone; then horse or donkey
is led by with load of fruit or mer-
chandise in panniers on either side of
his back; or a cow is being MIXED in
front of a customers house; a man
passes with bunch of live chickens
under his arm, or a negress with a
huge cigar in her mouth and then
what from a distance looks like a row
of elephants decked in green, but which
on closer inspection proves to be line
of seven or eight horses, tied head to
tail, so loaded with fresh fodder to a
height of eight or ten feet that one can
just distinguish the little animals nose
and tail under the undulating mass of
stalks.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26

A Hamilton (CaL) paper says a
Chinaman has devoted the whole sum-
mer and fall to gathering horned toads.
which are very numerous on the Red
Hills, and are as much dreaded as
rattlesnakes Recently he made a
shipment of 1000 of the toads to San
Francisco, from which place they viii
be sent to China. The toads are con-
verified into various kinds of medicines,
which sell very high. For the cure of
chills and fever they are said to be the
finest things known. A toad is placed
ia flask of whisky for several weeks,
and then the stuff is sold as tonic.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26

The Brazilian law of 1871 provides
that all children born to slave mothers
shall be free, but cannot obtain their
freedom until they are p years old,
and must serve their mothers owner
until that time. Consequently, chill
dren are worked TO death; and only
small proportion of them live to secure
their freedom, A traveller says there
never was nation on the globe in
which slaves were treated with more
diabolical cruelty than they are to-day
in the coffee producing provinces OF
Brazil. The puuishments practiced are
simply barbarous There are still
1,260. 900 slaves in the empire In two
provinces abolition sentiment is SO
strong that all the slaves have been
freed
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26

The majority of houses in Abyssinia
have a second story,or at least an attic,
terminating in a matched roof. The
walls are invariably of mud Within
live the occupants, with their cattle,
fowls, dogs, cats and 4 Noah's ark OF
insects, which the natives foster with
the greatest care by not touching soap
and by using very little water. There
is plenty of water, however, and the
soap grows on trees, but an Ethiopian
will tell you without a blush that he is
necessarily washed at birth, washes
himself on his marriage morn, and
hopes to be washed after death. When
be feels hard and uncomfortable he will
anoint himself with mutton fat till his
head and body glisten in the sun.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26

Labouchere, of London, should enjoy
life. He has plenty of money and
plenty of brains. seat in Parliament. a
share in the Daily Neo0s, paper of his
own, a bank, house in town, classic
home on the Thames, a clever wife. of
whom he is really fond, and baby that
is to him a constant surprise.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26

Lord ColerIuge says LnaJ wnen IN
this country he was struck by the abb
sence of childhood. We defer to our
children and their opinions, allow them
to engross the general attention, force
social obligations on them, and cut
them off from ''all the sweet depend
ence of their years, making grown
persons of them before English chill
dren have left the nursery
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-26

tention OF again visiting America next
fall. Come on, Matthew
The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1885-03-17
Advice to Gentlemen.

The following article has been sent us
with the request to publish it. We trust
it does not apply to any Of the rela-
tives or friends of our readers: Allow
me to give some advice to gentlemen
from twenty to forty years of age, who
can see so many faults in the opposite
sex and none in their own. As it has
now become fashionable for gentlemen
to express publicly their disapprobatIon
of the dress, manners, habits and educa-
ton of the female community at large, l
think we ladies, in justice to ourselves,
are now called upon to retaliate, and al
so should be permitted to make public
our opinions of the sort of men which
we would, and would not like to marry.
The moral, sensible, steady, industrious,
honorable man, who can work for liv
ing, besides putting his hand TO any lit
tie manly Job about his own house, such
as mend chair or table, paint door plas-
ter fire-grate, white-wash the ceiling,
paper the bedroom, clean his own boots,
and be a gentleman withal in company,
is Just the sort of man for me or any sem
sible lass to marry. But your empty
| headed, self-conceited, starch-necked,
cigar-smoking, brandy drinking, money
hunting, ladykilling, lazy-lounging, sell
fish, plotting, scheming, mean, deceiv-
| ing, pomatum plastered animals, who
| call yourselves Lords of creation, you're
no more fit for matrimony than spider
is to command regiment. The fact is,
my dear fellows, you want, generally
| speaking, more common sense and less
puppyism, knowledge and less foppery,
more manliness and less impudence,
more honor and less falsehood, more
brains and less mustacbe Shave off
your mustaches and be more like men
and less like monkeys; throw away your
cigars and walking-sticks, take useful
book into your fingers and try if you can
4 pick up bit of common knowledge, so
that in time you may learn to be what
the God of Nature designed. [ submit
the above to the Albert chained, wash
pinned, DfaSS-rlDSeu, IdlSe-lTohCeu,Sd SdIlD-
ling, horse betting paragons of wit, fash
ion and frivolity, who are looking out to
catch any rich woman who could be fool
enough to marry them. And, seriously
speaking, it is much to be deplored that
such creatures as taese, without affec-
ton, knowledge, means, or useful capa-
bility whatever, should be selected fol
husbands, and a change in this order OF
things is a consumation devoutly to be
wished for.
The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1885-03-17

The Duchess of Norfolk claims the pos
session of the finest rubies in the United
Kingdom. Any woman of reasonable
means may wear diamonds, but only an
imperial wealth ever permits her toLum-
Der rubies among her jewels. The
Duche. Of Norfolk would undoubtedly
give all these priceless gems to obtain
sight for her little son, whose future is
shrouded in mental as we'll as physical
darkness; but the oldest and richest
dukedom in England cannot buy health
! for its sole heir.
The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1885-03-17
Spiritual Manifestations in Phila-
phia.
Detroit Free Press.

phia.
Detroit Free Press.
A lady and gentleman were invited
into the dark cabinet, and soon out again
telling startling stories of spirit forms
and kissing. Another couple entered,
when the noises inside were of an alto
gether different character. A table was
overturned and the lady emerged, look
ing as if she had had struggle. After
telling startling stories about the spirit
forms and the kisses, the medium came
out, followed by the gentleman who had
been in there with him. He immediate
ly addressed the audience, saying that
he was no longer a spiritualist, for this
was an internal fraud. Then he dived
into the cabinet, from which in spite of
the mediums efforts to lead him off he
brough backt a long-handled paddle COW
cred with cotton flannel. "This is the
kisser," said he amid yells and laughter.
At once there was great confusion and
shouts from all over the house. He went
on to say that on entering the cabinet lie
was told TO place one Of his hands on the
mediums head. He felt the medium
move his knees and release the loops
about his wrists. Then he thrummed
the guitar; then took the paddle and
touched the gentlem an on the cheek
and lips with it making as he did so q
kissing sound. The gentleman seized
him, but, being powerful man and the
lady interfering, the medium succeeded
in replacing his hands in the loops. The
whole affair was a cheat, he said There
was no Bertha King.
When he had stopped speaking the po-
lice officer came forward and arrested
the medium and his partners on war.
rant previously taken out against then
for obtaining money under false pre-
tences. The monep at the box Office wa:
secured and the apparatus seized.
The only voice raised was by tai
woman who had been first in the cabi
net and who stood up and shouted, 8
know enough about kissing to know tn
difference between a bathing swab and
genuine salute. tell YOU, ladies on
gentlemen, was kissed: if die for it.
Shouts Of laughter silenced her fmtht
testimony.
The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1885-03-17
The French Novel.
.Arkansaw Traveller.

Arkansaw Traveller.
"Come," said he. taking her hand, Il
am broken down in body and mind, but
[ will exert myself for your sake"
He tread upon a dogs tail.
.sNever mind, Fido." she said. He is
not much of a dog"
"Oh, yes, he is" replied the over
worked man, rubbing himself. He is a
bull dog"
No, he is only poodle"
Then, why did he bite my calf 2
e"Oh, you are facetious. When will
you fly with me ?
''Soon as can borrow a pair OF wings.
''Ohr'
She had tainted on his breast.