The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1885-01-24
Cur QDlio.
MANAGEMENT OF HUSBANDS.
4 Woman of Experience Gives Her
Opinion on the Important subject.

y
week?" said my most particular lady friend,
and have only very few of that order.
sThe Management of Husbands, Ireplied.
"Well, that's done in a very few words"
she said laughingly; "Give him the latch
key, kiss him good night and tell him to
come in when he likes, as you are going to
bed, and that man will be in leading strings
forthwith
| agree with my friend that hers is
splendid recipe; still l have an idea that
| can give one quite as good, and one hav-
ing more nobility of purpose. There is
nothing living SO easily managed as the
average man, but then the wife must un-
derstand diplomacy and be a taetician to
the tips of her fingers. What violence or
tears can never accomplish tact will. |
have always thought there is something
radically wrong in the marriage tie, but
what it is becomes difficult matter to de-
fine when searching into bottom facts.
Men, as rule, marry women for love, yet
we see every day these one-time happy
doves drifting apart and acting as though
separation would be the happiest end for
both. To marry for love simply is absurd.
Unless there is a large amount of respect
on either side the fame of love soon dies
out, leaving barren manor for the dwell
lers thereon. really think those mar
riages are the happiest where there is less
flame and passion and more quiet respect
in the first place, since there is always a
certainty of love following in the aftertime,
for we must respect first what we finally
love.
However, supposing you have husband
whom you wish to twirl around your little
finger, you must first love him, "with all
your heart, with all your soul, ETC., and
the love you feel will make it possible to
put up with all those little discrepancies
which crop out in mans nature when you
come to live with him, for the best of men
become monotonous after while. In the
first place, should your husband be man
in business, who comes home tired to death,
cross and worn out, do not at once enter
tain him with the troubles you have gone
through during the day. Do not rehearse
the shortcomings of the servnats or the
disobedience of the children. Meet him
with smile, kiss him, take his hat and
overcoat from him and let him severely
alone until he has toned down his irritabil-
ity with good dinner, after which he will
be in good position to listen to anything
you may have to say but I always found
it an excellent plan to hide disagreeables
entirely from a husbands notice Men
don't want to have repetition of annoy
ances at home, when they have so many in
their daily path outside, and, believe me,
the effect of keeping household squabbles
out of your husbands knowledge wonder
fully enhances your value as a wife. |
have seen so many arrant fools fly at their
husbands the moment they enter the house;
and there and then give detailed account
of the troubles of the whole day, even tax
ing to tears as an argument on their side
and 0 how men hate tears how they
detest household details-and, being natur-
ally selfish, in fact hate anything that puts
them out at home; and they are right.
The bread-winner oughtto be relieved from
domestic jars.
Of all things when your husband comes
home, see that his dinner is well cooked
Don't make row because the meat is un-
derdone or burned to stick. Rather go
into the kitchen yourself and see that
everything is comme il faut You don't
know how man appreciates loving well
come and good dinner after the toll of
the day. Put yourself in his place, each
woman who has to toll for fatherless
flock. You don't like to come home to a
cloudy atmosphere and an illcooked meal
You think you are atleast entitled toserene
comfort at home, and if you done get it
you rebel. Why not men also
Nothing on earth fetches man ike a
good dinner and welldressed wife pre-
siding. The husband who can look forward
to such state of things every day of his
life will never tire of home, and the wife
who studies his comfort will have little diff
fculty in managing him according to her
will. Men are gregarious animals, and will
wander in spite of all allurements but
they are selfish enough to remain where
they are best treated, and by taking little
trouble for year or two of married life the
years that follow will, as rule, find the
husband always glad to go back to the
pretty home where smiles await him and
the dinner [ spoke Of.
There are so many women who object to
being ''bossed," 4" as they call it. My dear
ladies, you can always be boss if you take
the trouble. By giving in you get your
own way as you never would by fighting
for it. And, after all, it is better to feel
you respect your husband SO much that to
give in to him is not difficulty. OF course
l am now speaking of the right kind of
man. There are some men such perfect
brutes that no kindness has any effect upon
them. When you are unfortunate enough
to catch such one, divorce him at once,
and take care how you choose the next
Nine men out of ten are manageable, if
you 90 the right way about it, and one
great point is to act after marriage exactly
as you did before. Argument and contra
dietion are vital enemies to married peace.
Should you wish for anything particularly,
don't insist upon it after refusal.
OF course you must have it, but bide
your time Some women are persistent and
ask 'Why may not? Why won't you
do as ask you?" and irritate the man.
Rather bide your time, make an extra good
dinner of his favorite dishes, put bow on
of the color he likes, make home and your
self sweeter than ever You'll get it sure,
even if you have to wait Also, when you
want him to do any particular thing which
you know will be for his good, for heaven s
sake do not say "do it. Rather drop a
hint that you think so-and-so would be a
good thing to do. Get him interested, and
then let the subject drop. | venture to
say in short time that man will do pre-
cisely as you wished he will never permit
you to think he has traded the least bit on
your common sense. Now, some women
under such circumstances would crow over
the husband with II told you so and now
come to my way of thinking" Absurd,
ladies absurd never let a man know you
rule him, yet rule him in all things, if
you can.
I believe that it is perfectly possible to
keep your husband so perpetually in love
with you that he rather likes to be ruled
than not Never ask for new dress till
after dinner, and never press your husband
to buy what he can't afford. How many
mer are brought to ruin through the ex-