Connecticut western news., 1885-02-11
ADVERTISING RATES
WIT AND WISDOM.
EVERY back has its pnok.

EVERY back has its pnck.
 MES love women; women love a man.
 Euo1IsM is an alphabet with ono let ter
 A WHITE lie often told makes a black story.
 Tun want of money is the root of much evil
 IF you'd know Q mans character, iol- low him home.
 HE who would eat tho egg must first break tho shell.
 Iris poor musician who can't blow his own trumpet.
 LOCK after your wife; never mind yourself, shell look after you.
 UNTIL rink floors arc padded rinks will not be popular with fat men.
 Tm Montreal carnival is universally conceded 10 be big thing on ice.
 WHAT ship carries moro passengors than the Great Eastern9 Courtahip. WHAT is n great deal worse than rain- ing cats md dogs9 Hailing stage
 "TnE Plains" have almost disappeared from the great West The railroad or. Plains if.
 The Burlington Hdickoye thinks the most striking thing about roller-skating is the floor.
 Tm man who wishes to continue be- lieving in his friends should never put them to the proof.
 TuE young man who sits near tho door, smiles and says nothing, usually gets away with tho girl.
 "WnAT did you say your friend is, Tommy ?" "A taxidermist." "what is thatP' "why, sort of animal up. holsteror."
 TnERE is much less dnpgor of con- | tracting disense in a sick room If tho mouth is kept closed; also of contract ing black eye in a barroom.
 "HuMrur said n young man at a play with a young lady. "I could play the lover better than that myself" "I wouldn't mind seeing you try it, was the naive reply. ...
 'TF you want tow git at the circum- ference of n man," says Josh Billings, ''examine him amung men; but if yer want tow git at his aktual diameter, measure him at his fireside."
 '1'M glad Billy had sense to marry a settled old maid, said Grandma Wink um at the wedding; 'gals is hity tiiy, and widdors is kinder overrulin' and up- settin'. old maids is kinder thankful and willin' to please"
 snE smote him with the shinglo
 m she made liim unni and jingle | Bccsufe hc did not mind his bnby brother,
 But he soon forgot his pain
 And went singing down tho lane, "A boys best friend ia his mother" | -Bosion Courier.
 "WHAr are you looking at, old gal 2" asked the postman of Mrs. Mullignn. "shuro an I was just thinkin', !" said Mrs. Mulligan, 'how foine mo by Moike will be lukin' whin he gita thim clothes on." Mrs. Mullgans Moike voted for Cleveland.
 AFTER George Washington had cut down his fathers cherry-tree, his mother thought the wood might be used for fuel, and it was accordingly burned and reduced to ashes. Not long after, Mrs. w. wished to mako some soap, and took the cherry. tree ashes, but all her labor wus in vain, for there was no lyQ)e in tho ashes.
 LITTLE PAULINE had been reproyed for misconduct, and was sitting on a small chair by tho window, looking very | disconsolate. "Halloo W said papa, chancing 10 come in as two big tears were about ready 10 fall. Look at Paulinei Why, what is going to hap. pen ?" "It has happened" 1" said Pauline, so,emnly. aa
 "WnAr name docs your husband call you by ?" said bride 10 a friend who had been married several years; 'doea he call you ducky or loveyP My darling calls me ducky." tDoes he9 Mine used to call me popsey wopsey, but ho doesn't use that term now" "What does he call you, then2' "Ho calls mo Say, there.'"
 ONE Thomas Jones, young man whose every wish had boen gratiaed by an indulgent father, was about to be married, and whom the inquiry was made as to where ho would take his wedding tour, a waggish by-standor spoke up: "T can tell youi tho enterprising chap is going to Europe, and il he likes it his father is going to buy it for him"