Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1885-09-26
A NEW PROFESSION

1t was popular restaurant.
The seedy customer who had linger-
ed for half an hour over a doughnut
revel, brushed the crumbs off his pants
with his 4x5 napkin and approached
the cashier with an distracted air. AS
he handed over his dime he remark
ed
sinister, thing you and ! could do
a little business"
How SO ?" said the cashier
"Why, / have noticed that the folks
who patronize this place seems to goin
mostly for clam chowder and beef-hash
doughnuts. They ignore the more
recherche elements Of the menu, such
as soft-sheu crabs green turtles, etc.
You'd realize more profit if the public
partook more extensively Of the luxu-
ries of the season, so to speak, wouldn't
your
81 reckon" replied the check taker.
Have you ever noticed" continued
the seedy customer, chat man is an
cumulative being? He is guided and
governed by public opinion rather than
his own ideas?"
The cashier nodded.
Exactly. Now do you see what
Pm drivin, at? Public opinion, in
fuenced by hard times, say doughnuts
and clam-chower. You want to edu-
cate public opinion up to the more
elevated standpoint of quail on toast
and venison steak"
"How are you going to do it ?"
"That's just what Pm coming to.
That's where my inventive genius comes
in. You and can put job up on
'em. Every day about this time come
here for dinner. | look over the pro.
gramme and call out, Here, waiter,
turtle soup, fried oysters, pate de fois
gras, and pint Of Rederer and the
waiter loudly repeats the order so that
the whole room full can hear. The
folks that have just come in say to
themselves, Hello, this is kind of
stylish place. 1t won't do to eat baked
beans and Goldfish balls here and then
they follow my example; more especial
ly ifthe waiter does his part well, and
can infuse tone of sarcasm into his
voice when passing along the order foi
clam chowder and hash, SOS to make
the cheap feeders feel their insignifi-
canoe. Things would soon work
around if some enterprising man would
set the example"
We'll" said the cashier, "you or
anybody else can order just what you
like, provided you pay for it."
81 am afraid you hardly appreciate
the importance Of my idea. In order
to inaugurate the system it will be
necessary to disregard the pecuniary
outlay. Now, my proposition is, that
| should otficiate as epicurean exemplar.
| will soon arouse spirit Of emulation
by apparent reckless extravaganza |
will, by revealing in the delicacles
which appetite of Lueullus, stimu-
late others to like lavish indulgence.
| shall assist the process by casting
around me glances of scornful deprecia
ton at those groveling souls who per-
sist in partaking of humble fare.
Here, now, for instance, | assume an
air of lofty disdain. Do you think
you could sit calmly and eat clam soup
while | was looking at you-so-and
devouring boned turkey ?"
"No; l should probably get up and
kick you," was the answer.
"Ah, but most men would take it
differently. They would say, i guess
can afford boned turkey as well as
that fellow, and they would order all
luxuries they could think Of 1t which
catch 'em tell you. Now, to come
right down to business. amt am
bitioes. l don't ask any salary. All
| want is to order what like free
gratis, and III set right to work and
we'll bring about the biggest revclu-
ton in public opinion you ever saw
What do you say? Is it bargain ?"
81 can't see as it would exactly pay
me-" said the restaurant man. 81
guess things have got to work around
gradually"
you don't seem to have much en-
terprise," sadly observed the Epicur-
can exemplar. "I'll offer my services
to some first class establishment"