The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1885-06-03
WE AND PLnAsAxrKx.

A Washington street placard says Look
at our ladies' hose" We refuse TO be de-
moralized by any such exhibitions.
my DEAR" said Mr.. Ferguson, as be laid
down his book, sit says here that whisky
drinking herdens the BRAIN Never mind.
my dear" was her sarcastic reply, you
needn't quit drinking on that account"
And now Ferguson wonders what she
meant.
Professor Langley. the astronomer, is said
to be the most bsssful man. And yet we
have no doubt he will sit for hours looking
at Venus through telescope, long after the
decent people are aoed and asleep. That ia
always the wal With these bashful men
Lowell Citizen.
Are your coats PADDED asked Angelina,
as her head reposed gracefully on Williams
inquired fondly. Because they are so much
softer than Martins coats. or Johns either,
for that matter" The engagement was
broken.-The Rambler.
Sam Jones was once conducting a revival
in Atlanta. For foil week he addressed
himtelf to the members OF the church. At
last one of the stewards suggested that he
mo, sir," said Sam. II want to get this
Church good stirred up first / never kin
hogs It'll I've got my water hot
Rather Premature.-"WhY have they put
you in Jail seain?n asked an Austin pnilau.
throplst OF Jim Webster, who was playing
checkers with his nose on the grated win
dow, Because l had the luck TO .ind
Colonel Yer gers watch.n That's no crime,
TO find q watch." Yes, but you. see, boss
dun found it before he lost it."-Texss sift-
ings
& smart Colonel OF an Irish militia reg
ment WIS lately found fault with BY the IN
spscilng General for the Indifferent shoot
ing of bis regiment. The Colonel replied ::
"Sir, must explain that L stand before you
in two positions-one as Colonel of the regi.
ment and the other az an irish landlord. AS
fsr as 1 am concerned consider the shooting
good enough. Troy Times.
"But 1 can't cook it in that way, Henry;
don't know how" Then why don't You
keep trying till you learn hoE?" "Oh,
can't; / always spoil It." PLAGUE take
woman anyhow; she can't never do any.
thing body ~SUts done. A man can do
anything" mo he can't. I'll tell y01
what man can't do.'' what's that?' "He
can't mind his own business"
-Four candidates for the postmsstership of
Richmond vera urged by as many dslsga-
Uons of Influential Virginians, and the fifth
msn got the Office. Which reminds Us OF
the inebriated sugar planter in New Orleans
who, seeing an Italian count playing hand.
organ, with displayed upon It's upper sur.
La-6 HuHucT OI puppets, one u WHICH 0slu
forth plate, accepting this as a challenge 10
q novel game OF chance, and deposited an
eagle OF the plate. This the organ grinder,
after playing few bare, put into his pocket.
The planter deposited another piece. Sans
result. And third, aud 8 fourth, and q
fifth And then he staggered solemniy away,
rema1king. "Ish the first time / ever backed
sgin' a game where sll the psTshenag wash
in favor of the dealerH-N. o. Picsyuue.
Cololel J. Annoy Knox. OF Texas Sittiugi,
when asked what he considered the best bit
Of American humor, snswered promp,ly
"A little thing that Bill Nye wrote. 1 con.
slider 1t the best because it leaves so much -
the imagination. A humorous thing should
be suggestive. This IS what Nys wrote:
Yesterday was the first day OF January
The glad Yew Year. I made 100 calls. So
I'm told Now what vision of gigantic
drunk does that bring up?' Equally good If
not better, is a moIsel by Artemus Ward
which may be found az a motto on the title
page of some editions of the great humorisrs
works. ItTuns thus Amused Old Gentle.
man; Why. what foolish little grill Here 3
dollar for you Foolish Little Girl:
Please sir, l have sister al home who is
almost as foolish as be. Won't you give
me dollar for her to02' "