The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1885-10-30
HOUSE SOLD RECEIPTS.
Whitehall Times

| NEVER COOk pOlulO VIII us KIN.
| Never boil your ice, although if YOU don't
| boil your rice it will not be fit to cat.
Never put out the eyes of potatoes, cut off the
| ears of corn, Or ampntate the toes of tomatoes.
Never keep your milk in paper bags, for pa,
| per is sold by the ream, and milk ream is net
| as good as other kinds Of cream.
George Eliot said, "Things look dim to old
| folks" They undoubtedly do when old folks
peer iniO the parlor between the hours of 8 and
ousy distinct occupants Of f its d H1n oi
A north side school teacher showed me an
excuse which a ten-yearold boy wrote for his
absence one day last week. He siGoed his faith
er's name to It thread as follows "Miss -,
Please excuse Joey. He was necessity obtain
ed" Chicago News.
A man passing along the street saw two chill.
dren, apparently FIVE and six years old playing
in the gutter. The elder wore pan balloons, while
the younger still chung to infante dresses
Stopping he addressed the boy with pantaloons
care you both boys !" NO. was the answer:
"Im one, and Johnnie's going to be next week."
Il Buffalo Courier.
A good man to tend furnace-Old King Cole.
Far sealing men-W halemen. Sic transt-re-
moving patient to the hospital. Too much
beer may cause you to ALL and too much ale
now don't think it queer, may, after awhile,
prove the porter who brings you at last to your
bier The man who sells short-the dwarf.
The vegetable for a drummer-The beet. Why
is the man who watches tor bis victim like the
dishonest grocer ?-IIe lies in watt Traveller.
Old Blobs got tired OF having the dog around,
useless BEAST though atiectonate, and, taking
him out in vacant lot, he tied halt-pound
can Of dynamite to his tail, and lit out for
safe place to see the explosion. The devoted
animal followed his master closely, and the
faster Blobs went the faster went the eur, with
the fuse Kissing behind him. Just about this
time the thought crossed Bob's mind that he
ought to have tied the dog; but he didn't stop
to consider it. Just as he lost his wind and |
picked up stone to persuade the dog to leave |
the thing went off. 1t was a success. Portions |
OF the late Mr. Blobs are arriving daily by mail |
from the different counties, and the funeral |
ceremonies will be held when the returns are all |
in. The dog is dead Christian at Work.
Arlo Bates thinks that Boston girls are quick
at repartee and gives the following as spec |
mems: gentleman who was apparently rath-
er deeply tiDged with the prevalent anglo
mania, was at watering place descanting upon
the superiority of English over American seem
cry.
"There really is no finished scenery in this
country" he was pleased to observe. COT
course the Palisades on the Hudson are we'll
made, but"
"Yes," crisply and dryly inierpolated the Bos.
on girl whom he was favoring with his con-
versatlon, 81 think they are-considering who
made them.'
Another Boston girl was at a New York re-
'eption. $50 you are from Boston" said O
1oupg gentleman to her.
"Ob, DEAR she responded With an accent of
despair, show did you know I'm sure | tried
lard enough to conceal it,
40 conceal IT, be repeated with puzzled
Iir. "Surely you are not ashamed OF il 7"
sob, nc" replied she with engaging candor,
but thouaht every body would be afraid 10
ak with me IL they knew | was from Boston,"