davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
A MAN OF NO WEIGHT.
A Scene That Was Witnessed in an EnElish
H. X. Apartment.

There were seven of US in the COM
partment of an English railway carriage
when the train started from the station.
In one corner sat man, long legged,
tall any lean. At the next station three
more travellers entered. These filled the
compartment. Opposite the tall man a
q short fat man took his Geat.
"Wish to goodness you'd move your
knees" said the fat man petulantly.
Certainly" said the tall man, as he
proceeded to stick his feet under the
seat opposite.
"stopl stopl" yelled the fat man.
''Didn't you see me put my bandbox
there Do you want to smash it2'
~ didn't see you put it there" said
the other quietly.
"Well, you ought to then," grumbled
the fat man. ''Long awkward giants
that can't see ought not to travel. Hate
giants at least half giants; regular old
fashioned giants, ten feet high and five
feet wide, were all right, but they didn't
want to travel by train"
The tall man looked at the speaker
mildly and sighed.
At the next station no one got out,
but just as the train started one of the
railroad offers opened the carriage door
and pushed lady into the compartment.
The tall man Immediately stood up and
gave the lady his seat.
"Just what thought" said the fat
man. "Now you can't stand upright.
People like you ought to be made into
two men. What's the use of giants
weak hearted, knock-kneed2 Bah!
Ever see a giant with the collc3
Hol hol Pantomimes amt in it. saw
one once with the collie. Giant collie, 1
'spose, outsize one. Twas at the seaside.
He doubled himself over a railing, feet
touched ground on one side, head the
other. l was watching him. 'Spose he
meant to break the collie in two, and
tackle one half at time. Up comes
bobby. Says he: Them your clothes2
Take 'em home mustn't hang your ward
robe out here to dry"
The tall man again gazed on the fat
man with sigh. Then he put a deal of
himself out of the window, leaning with
his elbows at the bottom of the opening.
"That / decidedly object to-" cried
the fat man, hotly. "Here you are,
stopping up all ventilation, and giving
us about half camel in the carriage"
and he commenced to pound away at the
half camel's hind legs. The other half
came in with a sigh, and said:
81 wish 1 could please you"
"But you can't" said the fat man,
testify, "and you can't help it. You're
nuisance in a crowd, in theatre, in
church, in fact, everywhere. And yet
you're only show, you know; no weight,
solidity or substantially. Look at me.
It's us short, tough people that do the
work of the world. You're no weight,
sir; no weight"
"He says I've no weight" murmured
the tall man, YEARLY, and he dropped
like waterspout into the fat mans lap.
There was piercing shrek, muffied
and smothered roar, and it only needed
one glance at the fat, hopeless-looking
in the corner to assure me
that its owner had found the long man
carried a good deal of weight with him
when he sat down suddenly.-Detroit
Free Press.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
THE FIRE HORSE AND THE WHIP.
How Jim, Who Was Slow to Learn, Got the
Best Of His Trainers
From the New York Times.1


The firemen who train the horses for
the department have abundant opportu-
mites for confirmation of the theory
that horses reason from cause to effect.
OF one horse in particular, which is now
in active service, many anecdotes are
current, as showing his great intelli-
gence and ability to master questions for
himself. The following story was told
by one of the assistant engineers at the
fire on Broadway on Saturday night:
Jim," he said, pointing to power
full black horse who was paving and
snorting in time with the puffs from the
engine, was difficult horse to train.
He was slow at learning to leave the
stall and make rush for the pole as
soon as the gong sounded. We tried
him In various ways, and finally made
him one of the quickest horses in the
service by simply feeding him an apple
as soon as he had taken his place at the
pole. This plan worked admirably, but
the department didn't supply unlimited
apples. so when we thought him fully
trained the customary apple was omit
ted. What did Jim then do but quietly
remain in his stall when the alarm rang
out. The apple business was resorted
to again, and he was as spry as before.
Then again the apple was dispensed
with and Jim did not bulge, but looked
at the men calmly, and if horse can
wink 1 think any one could see the
merry twinkle in his eye and imagine
him saying, No apple, no move
He was too strong and too valuable
to lose, SO the foreman rugged up an au-
tomato whip, which was released at the
first tap of the gong, and came down
with a sharp thwack across Jim's quar-
tiers. For two or three days this an
swered every expectation, but it was
then noticed that when Jim backed into
the stall he furtively looked behind him,
and after a cogitation with himself he
squeezed his body close up to the side of
the stall so that the lash came harm
lessly down by his side. This was not
only once, but every time he was put in
his stall, and it was clear he had beaten
the men. Well, then another plan was
adopted. The whip or lash was strung
along the side of the stall, and when the
gong sounded out it sprang, hitting Jim
a smart clip in the side. This brought
him out on a run for two or three days,
when again he got the best of us. When
he was backed in he would just plant
his body firmly against the side of the
stall, and the gong might sound for
week and the lash never touch him, as
he held it tight against the boards. We
then tried third and last plan of hay
ing half dozen lashes working from the
gong, so that however he may place
himself some of them are sure to hit
him. This has succeeded SO far, but
Jim has evidently been thinking out
plan to get the best of this, and am not
sure he will not succeed"
During the narrative Jim stood quietly
as if listening, and when the engineer,
walking by him, gave him friendly pat,
he neighed out whinny of satisfaction,
acting as if he had understood every
word.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
THE BENDER FAMILY.
what Became Of Them All:

The Bender family, says the Chicago
Inter- Ocean,, all fell victims to private
vengeance very soon after their crimes
became known, but so little was said
about it at the time that for years after
ward rumors kept starting up here and
there saying that one or more of them
had been seen in some secluded part OF
the country. The story of their crime
and punishment was as follows:
The Blenders kept small inn on the
road from Parsons to Cherryvale, tabette
county, Kansas. Travellers often stopped
there for dinner, and when on a long
journey frequently put up there for the
night. These, if their entertainers had
reason to suspect they had any money
about them, never got further on their
travels: Considerable excitement was
aroused in that part of the State because
of frequent disappearances, but no
search was made until DR.. York, of In
dependence, went on a trip to Fort
Scott, but did not return. That was in
May, 1878. The doctors brother, Col
York, went to Fort Scott to find HIM.
On his way he stopped at the Benders'
house, and their reception of his in
quiries aroused his suspicious. He re-
turned to their house the next day with
q posse of men and search warrant.
They found the place deserted. Exam
nation of spot in the yard where earth
had been freshly turned revealed the
body of DR.. York, and upon further
search the remains of eight or nine other
victims were found. York and his men
were now eager to pursue and punish
these human fends. The fresh trail of
a wagon was found going over the prairie
northward.
This was followed, and at Thayer the
abandoned team and wagon of the Bend
ers was found, and it was learned that
the family had there taken the south
bound train on the L., L. and G. Road
The conductor of the train was tele-
graphed, and replied that the persons
had left the train at Chanute. Inquiry
of the station agent at that point elected
the reply that they had purchased tickets
there for Chetopa. The searchers now
returned to Independence, procured
fresh horses and assistants, and started
for Chetapa. Arriving there they learned
that the Blenders had taken team wait
ing there for them, and had gone south
ward on the trail to Grand River, Indian
Territory. About four miles from Grand
River the murderers were overtaken.
The search party stopped them, charged
them with their brutal crimes, and shot
them all-the old man, his wife, the
daughter, and son-on the spot. A hole
was dug there, and the four bodies were
buried in it. The self-appointed aveng-
ers then returned to their homes, but
said little concerning what they had
done, and it was several years before the
facts in the case were ever published.
This gave opportunity for numberless
tumors concerning the wanderings of
the Bender family to find their way into
the papers.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
Where GuanO Is Found.

Guano is found only in rainless regions,
and, while there is said to be some on the
coast of Mexico and in the Islands of the
Gulf of California, it is only along the
arid deserts west of the Andes, where
the clouds never precipitate moisture,
that the deposit has been a source of
wealth. Guano is mixture of the ex-
crement of birds and seals, the decom-
posed bodies of both, and the bones of
fishes that they have taken upon the land
for food. Along the coast of Peru are
to-day, as there have been for centuries,
myriads of sea-birds. The sky is often
darkened with them, and their heavy
shadows fall upon the oceans surface as
they fly from one to another of the
islands upon which they roost and breed.
These Islands are swarming with sea
lions also, and the rocky shores are
fringed with them in multitudes beyond
the power of man to number. They live
on the islands with the birds. Here
both live, die and decay with the other
animal life they bring from the ocean,
and the guano of commerce is the filth
they have left upon the rocks. There
has never been any rain to wash it away
and the wind scarcely ever rises above
gentle breeze, so it has been allowed to
accumulate for countless ages, until it is
in some places hundreds of feet deep,
dried and baked by tropical sun.
The amount of money which Peru has
made from her guano deposits cannot be
estimated any more accurately than the
plumber stolen from the Incas. The ex-
ports have continued since 1916 to the
present day, and the annual shipments
have amounted to millions of tons, val
ued between twenty and thirty million
dollars, and to the profit of State whose
population has never reached two mil
lion, three-fourths of whom were In
dians, who have had no share in its bene-
fits. The exhausted lands of the Old
World required this manure to revive
them, and their owners paid high prices
for what cost Peru nothing. The result
of this revenue was to continue the ex-
travagance among the people which was
practiced by their forefathers when the
mountains poured out streams of silver
1t was an epidemic of riches, and instead
of wisely boarding this source of wealth
and protecting it, the government of
Peru plunged into system of reckless
expenditure, until the end of the war
found its revenue cut off and the country
burdened with a debt of $3.50, 900, 900,
which it can never pay.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
How a Woman Treats.

When men go together they generally
shake for the cost of the dinner Girls
generally pay their shares. But like to
watch the conscious superiority, the
bland Importance girl puts on when she
is going to pay the check for the feast.
The affectionate attention she receives
from the others is a simple and efficient
guide for the purse of the party. Ifyou
have any doubt of it, watch the osten-
tatious way in which the payer takes out
her purse, takes up the check, examines
it, or asks the waiter how much it is.
Watch how they all wait upon the one
who pays. They show her a Difference
that is unmistakable, give place to her
as thy approach the counter, and trot
out giggling and laughing, the guests
holding on most devotedly to the arms
of the treater. It's lovely. But, dear
creatures, they are chuck full of human
nature, and that's what's the trouble
with us all.-San Francisco Chronicle.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
One Of the Plunger's Plunges.

One of Walton's intimate friends told
newspaper correspondent the true story
of his big winning on the Grand Prix
and how he made it. Archer, the ia
nous jockey, was to ride Foxhall
Walton learned that it was the ambition
of Archer's life to be a land proprietor,
and that he was saving money to buy a
certain little farm upon which his covet-
Gus eyes had long been fixed. The
price of the place was SO, 900. Walton
bought it and then went to Archer and
said: '"That farm you are after is mine
1t shall be yours on certain conditions,
which won't interfere with your duty to
your employer" ''What are the condi-
tions2" asked Archer. ''You are to win
that race, and satisfy me beyond ques-
ton beforehand that you can win it. y
"But what will satisfy you?" ga pri-
vate running between Foxhall and the
best of his competitors at daybreak on
the morning of the race" To make a
long story short, Archer took the bait.
Tips of ESQ., more or less, made it all
right with the trainer of the opposing
horse. At daybreak on the race day
there was a regular heat between the
two, with Walton as the only spectator.
FoXhall was shown to be an easy win
ner. Walton went out and put every
dollar he could raise on the horse, and
he was then very flush upon his choice,
and the day closed with his own fortune
swelled by nearly $500, 900, and Archer
a landed proprietor.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
Marrying for Money.

had a conversation recently with
very clever and attractive New York
lady, who, among other misfortunes,
was afflicted with So, 900, 900. She said
she never would marry, because she
would not believe that any man wanted
her for any other reason than her gold.
''And what, II asked, ''do you lose there
by2 If a gentleman takes you because
you are SO pretty, the smallpox, fall
from horse, any accident may destroy
Sour beauty, and where will his love be
if it was for that reason only he took
you2 If another one loves you because
you are so fresh, so young, so lively,
time is safe to destroy all that, and your
claim on him is lost. But if he takes
you for your money, you need only be-
ware of dangerous speculations, and you
will always keep the charm that brought
him to your feet, and you have nothing
to fear" "That is one way of looking
at it, she said and so completely did
she embrace my opinion that barely a
year after / received an invitation to her
wedding with an English nobleman.-
Temple Bar.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13

"De crossest man in Alabama lives dar, y
said ths driver we approached a wayside
home, near Selma, Ala, to ask accommoda-
lions for the night. At supper, and after it,
"mine host' scowled ct every one, found
fault With everything earthly, and was
wondering if he would not growl If the heav-
enIy halo didn't fit him, when incidental mem
ton being made of the comet Of 1889, he said .
az didn't like its form; its tail should have
been fan-shaped"
But, next morning, he appeared half
offended st our offering pay for his hospital
ityl My companion, however, made him &C.
cept as a present a sample from his case OF
goods.
Six weeks later drew up at the same
house. The planter stepped lthely from the
porch. and greeted me cordially. could
scarcely believe that this ear-complexioned,
brioht-eysd. animated fellow, and the morose
being of few weeks back, were the same.
He inquired after my companion OF the
former visit and regretted he was not with
me Eyes, said his wife, eve are both much
indebted to him"
"Howf' I asked, in surprise.
"For this wonderful change in my husband
Your friend when leaving, handed MN Dol,
tie of Warmers safe cure He TOOK IL, ana
two other bottles, and now - ana
now.n he broke in, "from an ill-feellng,
growing old bear, 1 am healthy and SO cneer-
full my wife declares she has fallen III love
with me againl"
1t has made over again q thousand love
matches, and keeps sweet the tempers OF the
family circle everywhere - CopyrIglted.
Used by permission Of American h"rdS
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
Where the Brick House Comes In.

A citizen who had an idea that he
would like to run grocery, but who
was afraid of being stuck if he bought
out a place on the word of its owner,
was given permission to put in couple
of days around a Michigan avenue store
and make such personal observation as
he could. At the end of the second Gay
the grocer said to him:
"Well, are you satisfied that am do
ing rushing business2
''Not exactly. The sales foot up only
about $50 per day. The profits on that
figure can't be over So. That wouldn't
leave much after paying expenses.
"My dear sir, we don't look for our
profits in that direction. We pay two
cents per pound for wrapping paper,
and retail it out as we do up goods at an
average of of thirty cents. The profits
on the goods pay expenses. The profits
on the paper enable us to build brick
house every third year. Please stand
back while l weigh half an ounce of
paper with one and half ounces of in
digo. "-DetrOit Free Press.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
SAM JONES ON TRUTH.
Extracts From d Recent Sermon Deliv.
cred In Nfurfre esborouKk, TENN.

ssIf there is one character despise
above all Others" says Sam Jones, the
revivalist, sit is a liar-all towns have
their regular town liar'-and I'd rather
be the lowest town dog that roams the
street at night than to be a man you
can't rely on a word he says; one who
three fair trials.
'How l love truthful man-truthful
in every act and word of his hfel One
who lives in, by, with, and for the
TRUTH His life becomes SO wholly sat
urated with truth that he couldn't tell
falsehood If he were to try.
'Truth, my brethren and sisters, Is
better than money-oh, so much better
than money. never saw real truthful
man who couldn't get all the money he
wanted, however poor he might be,
while 1 have seen wealthy liars who
couldn't get accommodation at all.
''There are-turning to the colored
pews-darkies here who can get credit
at any store in Murfreesborough. This
is because of their reputation for truth.
There are others who couldn't get
credit for a paper of pins, because they
are known as the biggest liars out OF
purgatory. And the darkies are not the
only liars in Murfreesborough, either,
I'm sorry to say.
81 am sorry for that husband who
cannot rely implicitly on every word his
wife says. And am sorry for that wife
who cannot trust her husbands every
word. When between man and wife
the veracity of one is doubted by the
other there can be but little love left
and nothing whatever of respect. Much
as love my wife, I'd rather weep over
her dead body than to know she would
prevaricate ,Aqss to any statement she
might make % me. Oh, brothersl oh,
sisters, if we die in poorhouse, let us
tell the truth while we live
I know a merchant by the name of
Lee. once saw customer come into
his store to buy pillow, and he asked
whether the blade was hard enough. 1T
seems to be too SOFT was Mr.. Lees re-
ply. Wasn't he strange merchant 1
asked him why he hadn't told the man
that perhaps it was hard enough, or
something of that sort, but he wouldn't
tell lie. 1 should suppose merchant
of that kind would feel lonesome in
most places-lonesome about in spots.
GA man can lie and never open his
mouth. That's the way horse trader
ies-not knowing that to keep his
mouth shut is the biggest sort of lie.
1 have heard men Drag about cheating
conductors out of ride, and then the
conductors catching the disease, steal
from the roads. Some fellows think
they have done smart trick if the con-
ductor overlooks them and they get q
free ride. Before l would do such a
thing as that I'd hunt the conductor from
the smoker to the Sleeper and then
chase him down with pack of hounds.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
Wants to be a Waterman.

A Washington correspondent says
An ex-Congressman from Pennsylvania
is an applicant for employment in the
Treasury Department as Waterman. He
first applied with formidable recon-
mendations to be appointed Governor of
one of the Territories. Failing in that,
he attached his testimonials to pc
tition for watchman's place The cap
tain of the watch sent him to Secretary
Manning, who forwarded him and the pc
tition to Higgins, who, at the latest
advice, was still looking the ex-Con-
gresham over. The pay is 81. so per day
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
A Sad Death.

In Philadelphia recently at a coroner's
inquest over the body of child, the
jury returned verdict that death was
caused by the administration of patent
cough syrup, containing morphia. DR..
Saml K. Cox, of Washington, states that
not one cough medicine in ten is free
from this objection. After careful
analyses and practical tests he endorses
Red Star Cough Cure as being purely
vegetable, absolutely free from opiates,
poisons and narcotics. He regards it as a
most happy and valuable discovery.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
An Invitation.

A bright little miss was given cookie
by neighbor. Though contrary to her
custom, the mother allowed the child
to eat it. Shortly the little girl ex
claimed, MANN, let me go and get an
other cookie; | know Mrs.-will give
me one" mo, dear it would make
you sick" "Well, Mrs. Cher Sunday
school teacher) says heaven is beautiful
place" 'You don't want to go to heaven
and leave papa and mamma, do you ~
"Well, mamma, you get cookie too and
come with me to heaven"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
Very Thin.

A Pontiac little 5-year-old son of Col.
S. s. Mathews was told at Sunday
school that when he died he would leave
his body here. After his return home he
was much troubled in regard to it and
questioned his parents. His mother ex-
planned by saying: "You will take all
the good with you, but leave all that's
naughty here below" He thought
a moment, and looking up said: "Well,
l guess I'll be awful thin when 1 get
there"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
The MOrmOns.

The Mormons, led by Brigham Young,
entered the Salt Lake Valley ON the oath
of July, 1847, and it has been kept as
holiday of their church ever since. The
formal outbreak of the rebellion, in
1857, may be dated from that anniver-
sary. Young addressed a fanatical
throng, reminding them on that very
day ten years before he had said: "Give
us ten years of peace and we will ask no
odds of the United States" and added
that now they did ask no odds-that
they were thenceforth free and indie
pendent State, to be known no longer as
Utah but as Deseret.
The rebellion of 1857, thus initiated,
terminated with the Mormon's accept
ance of President Buchanan's amnesty in
1868. Another rebellion by them, as
predicted by General Howard, will Just
as surely end in their submission, but
not bloodlessly.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-08-13
Making 1t Grain.

We saw man once stirring little
spot in large kettle of boiling sugar,
just ready to be dipped out for fancy
candies. "Whnt do you do that for p
We asked. "To make it grain, said he.
''Will that little bit of stirring make it
grain ~ eyes once get it started and
it will go through the whole kettleful. "
We have thought of that kettle of candy
many times since in connection with
other things. "Once get it started and
it will go through the whole kettleful. u
This is twin sisters to the other sayings,
ga little leaven leaveneth the whole
lump