St. Paul daily globe., 1885-04-04
lNEK SCIENTIFIC WRINK1E.

Now the doctors are after the ladies again.
They have up new scientific theory that is
going to frighten the female world sure
enough. 1t does seem hard that there is
n othiug woman can do, that she wants to
do in fact that is not injurious from sci
entifc standpoint. The new crusade of the
doctors is against the smelling bottle. They
claim that the constant use of pungent salts
grows into vicious habit, like drinking or
opium eating, which in time impairs the
sense of smell, and the lady who uses 1t
soon finds herself in such condition that
she cannot detect the difference between Oil
of roses and oil of onions.
There has hardly been an indulgence
against which the female sex has not been
warned from time immemorial and moi
single one has yet been abandoned Ana
still women live, and move, and have their
being, and get along about as well as
men do. For instance the doctors have
preached against tight lacing ever since
woman found a substitute for fig leaves.
They have been told for hundreds OF years
what direful results would follow upon the
character of succeeding generations. Yet
women went right on lacing until their eyes
popped out-or nearly so,-still this country
has a president that weighs 235 pounds and
he has just appointed as minister to Japan
man who tits the beam at 2S7 pounds. High
heeled boots have been inveighcd against as
spine twistefs, yet if the female spine had
grown into corkserews, the fashion would not
have been abandoned-and the present race
of women is about as straight as any gone
before. The pulpit has joined the doctors in
war against dancing, but, sakes o. live, 1t
does no good. Painting the face and dark
ening the eyelashes have been prescribed by
church and the faculty with heatea We
hemence, but we occasionally see very sus-
picious symptoms of continuation OF the
practice Next it was asserted that kissing
was a dangerous practice, women were even
forbidden from kissing each other, yet
two girls going up street in Bos-
ton the other day met three other
girls, they all kissed, and the whole mathe-
matical world has been in commotion ever
since TO find out how many kisses were ex-
changed. Then came the crusade against
the roller skate. Women have been solemnly
warned that roller-skating conduces to hip
and spinal deformities and lung affections;
that the exercise heats up the skater only to
give her consumption the moment she goes
out. But despite the fulminations OF The
pulpit and the lucubrations of the professor
the average female will take her rosy cheeks
and graceful figure to the rink and skate
until fashion provides some new dissipation.
1t looks as though the latest crusade against
woman, the objection science sets up to the
smelling bottle, is done in spirit OF revenge
for previous failures. The loss of smell is
not the only penalty paid for the use OF the
smelling bottle, for the scientific theory is
that it makes the nose red. That is horri-
ble revelation, and the doctors stake their
reputation on the truth Of it, If there is
anything in the world woman has holy
dread of it is a red nose, and for that reason
there is ground for suspicion that science
may have suggested this result as punish
ment to woman for her past disobedienees.