The Florida agriculturist., 1885-02-18
February 18.
VARIETIES.
Whom girls mash dye young
A door helle-The pretty maid SCI

want.
popping.
Poets are born" This, by the wav.
is the case with everybody.
As a display of hosiery, the roller skat-
ing rink is said to excel the French op-
era.
Although barber shop is not gam
pung den, yet the dyes are often hand
led there.
What is the reason so many people be-
come insane? We suppose they have
no reason.
Value the friendship of him who
stands by you in q STORM" That depends
upon who owns the umbrella
Married women claim a great many
things, but we have never heard one
boast OF being older than her husband
One of our Aldermen was struck thir-
teen times yesterday by different men,
and wasn't hurt. Each time it was for
dollar.
= what did you say your friend is,
Tommy {" "A taxidernist." "What
is that?' "Why, he is sort OF animal
upholsterer."
Aunt-"It seems you only visit me
when you want money" Nephew-"B
my dear aunt, surely couldn't call more
frequently"
A Boston girl, who saw fellow with
delirium tremuns, exclaimed: "Unhap-
py man. Why do you permit yourself
to get the James-Jams !"
The Lick telescope will bring the
moon within thirty miles of the earth,
and how mean it is that no woman's
voice can be heard over twenty-eight
miles.
''How did you like the sermon?" in
quired the new minister of the sexton as
they were walking home from church.
First rate. | always did like that SER
mon."
ou want to aim low when you are
hunting the bison," said an old hunter.
"How low?" asked tenderfoot 'Buf-
faio,' replied the hunter, without a
struggle.
'Humph!'' ~ said young man at play
with young lady. II could play the
lover better than that myself II would
not mind seeing you try it, was the
naive reply.
"A small boy was playing truant the
OIuer udy. uSIl dSkCu IL u0 WOulu uOL
get whipping when he returned home,
he replied; "What is five minutes lick
ing to five hours of fun"
eff you want tow git at the circumfer-
ance of a man" says Josh Billings, tex
anime him among men; but If you want
tow get at his akual diameter, measure
him at his fireside."
Brown-"Ah, Fogg, quite stranger !
I.@xx DO l. low .
Fine landscape suppose?" Fogg-"No,
there's no landscape to speak of, but
there's two fire. 'scapes."
care you familiar with Bryant ?" asked
a young lady of a timid young man whom
she was trying to draw out. "Oh yes"
he replied proudly, Frightening up. II
graduated at one of his business col
leges."
An Irishman in strange town stood
looking at strange vessel. where
are you from, Pat?" "Begorra, sir, I'm
from anywhere but here" he replied,
land I'll soon be from here, too, sir.
''Mary says you cant come to see her
any more" said boy to his sisters adj
mirer. "Why not?'' Because you
come to see her every evening now, and
how could you come any more"
A little ten year-old miss told her
mother that she was never going to be
married, but meant to be widow, be-
cause widows dressed in such nice black
and always looked so happy.
"And you will not be mine until have
become renowned ?" "Not until then"
"That's easy enough. But tell me in
what profession would you have me dis
tinguish myself?" "Oh-any, any at
alias life-long explorer IN Africa, for
instance"
He wanted position in an Austin
bank. The president was satisfied with
his credentials, but before engaging him
put him through little civil service
cross examination. "Suppose now, a
man was to come in here to deposit
twenty dollars in one dollar bills, how
would you count them? "I'd wet my
finger and lift up each bill until | got to
the last one." "Why would you not
lift up the last one," Because there
might possibly be one or more bills under
it, and if the depositor was to see it he
would want it back, but if the twentieth
bill is not lifted up and there should be
another bill in the pile the bank makes
If. don't YOU see" .'You will do, said
the bank president. "You have been
in the business before, but didn't sup
pose you knew that trick. "-Ierds Sitt-
iegs.
Cs,NSVtM PTaON CURED.