davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13

But when 'tis awful. burning hot,
And sutry winds the parched earth Kiss,
In case you are not clear forgot.
You get n little chunk like this
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13

WoMAN's field is steadily extending.
Two ladies in Delaware County, Pa,
have recently been elected to the vcstry
Of a Protestant Episcopal Church. The
question whether they were eligible was
referred to Bishop Stevens. The bishop
decides that women have u perfect right
to act in the vestries of the church.
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13
FOR SALE--.H0USES.

TOR SALE-SEyERA SPECIAL BAR
gains in small houses. Swormstedt "
Bradley 02S i st. jy11-6t
nor SALE-WE OFFER FOR SALE ONE
II of the most desirable and extensive resi-
benGf p ends Fr mi gI Hse and and
permit to inspect, apply to Swormstedt 81
Bradley, 92S i st. jy11-1m
EOR SALE-BRICK HOUSE No 1908 9TH
II st n W, @ rooms and basement; range,
latrohes, etc.; finished in hard wood price
S3,1h0; small cash payments. a Lloyd $40
11S It n w. Tvs
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13
FOR EXCHANGE.

WTANTED-TO EXCHANGE NEW STOVES
w for old ones at Buffers stove Exchange,
corner 9th and X SITS. Smoky chimneys cured
or no pay. Stoves exchanged for groceries.
Old stoves bought.
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13

Mn. LYMAN, the ex-Assistant Postmas-
ter-GenerNl, says that Mr., Cleveland
might, if he had so chosen, broken up
both the Democratic and Republican
parties, but he hasn't done it and his op-
poItunity is gone. There's one thing the
President has done, however, to judge by
the gentleman's nonsenscal talk; he has
broken Mr.. Lyman up completely.
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13
EXCuRSInMG.

HOi THE GREAT FALLS AND CABIN
IL JOHN BRIDGE.
The steampacket EXCELSIOR will mako
regular trips during the season TO the above
points every. SUNDAY, TUESDAY and FRI
day, leaving her wharf; corner of High st. and
Canal at O'Clock n. m. sharp. Fare for
round-trip SOC. Boat can be chartered on al
ternate days. For information apply at Office
of j. @, and j. NJ WATERS 1917 High st.,
GEORGETOWN, ie22.tf
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13
yNaS A ARD.

W]7hl-a
TO all who are suffering from the errors and
indlscretions of youth, nervous weakness, carly
decay loss of manhood, &c. ! will send re-
cpe that will cure You, FREE OF CHARGE.
This great remedy was discovered by n mis-
sIonary in South America. Send q self-ad-
dressed envelope to the Rev. Joseph 7. lnman,
,StdfiOU n, NelU York Cify,
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13
CHApEL POINT. CHAPEL POINT.

Long Branch of the Potomac.
3I6 hours at the beach.
Commencing with june %, the STEAMER
GEORGE LAW will leave daily Except Mon.
days and Fridays) from steamer Leary's
wharf at S:15 a. m. sharp, returning D3O r. IN.
Round trip, SOC. Meals SOC. at the Point.
Professor Shroeder's orchestra.
Geo. w. BAUER owner steamer Geo. Law.
i. s. No trip TuesdaY July q.
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13

y9fE@, ,WASHINGTON, ID. O., JULY 9,
HStaSa 1885. EDiToR or rHE CRITIC; You
been msrepresented by the Federation OF
Labor. l have not used any of Chris. IIeurioh's
beer since the 10th of April last. / hope they
will erase my name from the list that they have
published. am the sole agent for the Louis
Bergdoll Brewing Company of Philadelphia,
Pa, and am selling no other beer. Proof can
he furnished TO satisfy them all by calling on
me at my place OF business, 351 VI street ) W.
NJ. Il. BIIDWELL. iy7.6t
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13
EQUAL LODGE, No. II, Il. of y.
MASONIC TEMPLE JULY 10, 1888.

Tickets, emitting every lady TO a fan, 25o.
For sale at the door on the night of entertain
ment, and at the following well-known busi-
ness places: W. G.. Mctzerott ~ Co., DOB Pa.
ave N. Bunch, 311 and SIG Sth st. n, w; IL.
G. Ellis, 5S II St. n. W., and Jonadab Head
quarters, 1909 9TH st. n. W. Two handsome
Gold Watches and Uniform of the 9th Rank,
X. of p, will be voted for and presented 10
the successful contestant. 1t
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13

IL II. YoUNGs, STEAM CARPET CLEAN
II ing and renovating works; feathers rem
ovated, mattresses made over, furniture
steamed and moths destroyed. 1922 Pa ave.
FactorY. conner 9TH and K SITS s.. @. ielS
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13
NO SPANISH TREATY.

Persons tearing me city for me summer cll.
hare THE CRIr1c matted 10 Meir didresS H 40
cents peT m0ath, postage pQid.
The Washington critic., 1885-07-13
PERSONAL.

NN.>.Ne'e = . . . ,.,I,
MY WIFE, SUSAN A. HARDY, HAVING
Itl left my bed and board without provocp
tion, and as ! am willing and able TO provide
for her, | hereby forbid all persons of harbor-
ing her or my goods from this date.
iy13-3t* HENRY j. HARDY,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27
Permanently Cared.


Talk about change of heart" said a
long haired and big whiskered man at the
Rock Island depot recently, 1--WE just come
from the biggest revival you ever see."
"Where was that!' asked bystander.
"Why, out in western Utah" the first
sneaker continued "We had Mormon set
Element in Willard county and we thought
we were getting along mighty slick when
all of a sudden the United States grand jury
fell on us like a snowslide and clapped us all
in Jail. There was more'n hundred OF US
and when we came to talk the matter over
we came to the conclusion that it was good
time to repent. So we held a revival right
there in the jail and sent for the preacher,
one of the Methodists, aud Pm blamed if he
didn't have US all enrolled inside OF an hour.
The district attorney paroled us just then
and as we fled out we ran onto the women.
Do YOU see that welt just over my earl
Well. that's where caught the broom that
nv third wife dusted me with. The other
fellers took to the mountains"
"WiIl the conversion be permanent
asked listener.
The stranger hitched up his trousers and
taking long breath, observed; AS to
| the others don't know, but the jail and the
broom cured me. Tn off for Jersey and IL
| will take the whole United States army tt
| get me back.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27
Detroit Free Press. !


The descent of the famous stream was ac-
complshei without much difficulty, as we
had no soldiers to bother us The natives
are very industrious, and on either side of
the river bank for a mile back have cult
waited every inch of the soil and planted their
crops down to the very edge of the water, so
as to have the benefit of the annual inunda'
tons The sight is indeed a beautiful one.
Sloping back as far as the rocky nights are
waving fields of grain dotted here and there
with the rude huts of the owners of the
land There is no regular harvest season, SC
far as know, but crops are cut at all times
of the year. The principal crop is Egyptian
corn. which is made TO answer almost every
purpose.
These people cling to the primitive harvest
tools used be the first inhabitants Of th'
country. Instead of reapers and mower
| the diminutive sickle is used, and the man
ner in which they use it created much merri
ment among the voyageurs. witnessed I
couple of women grinding wheat with tn
same old hand mill mentioned in the Scrip
| lures They squatted tailor fashion on tn
| ground on either side OF the mill-stones AM
| dropping the wheat in the cavity in the cen
ter of the wheel, turned it slowly, accom-
panying the proceeding with peculiar mo
ton of the body and at the same time hum
ming weird tune The sight was an unu
sual one TO me, who had spent most of m
life in the Michigan woods. but had no de
sire to remain there any length of time
The natives ara very similar to on
negroes, except that they have the promir
emit cheek bones of the Indian and not tn
fat features of the descendants of Ham.
have in my time seen slovenly people, br
the natives of Egypt are, in my opinion til
dirtiest people in the world, Digger Indian
not excepted. To look at them is as good 6
n dose of medicine. Their only article {
wearing apparel consists of garment shape
like Mother Hubbard dress In fact, | b
liaye il is the identical Mother Hubbard {
, which Americans are SO fond Males an
females dress alike, and the only way
distinSu ish them is that the women a
always found engaged in the hardest kind
work, while their liege lords do the bossin
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27


An old Cencoriian has favored me with
some of the village impressions Of Julian
Hawthorne and others OF that semi-pagan
annex to the Hub. IBID you know Thoreaui
asked
II should say did. We used to go, at his
invitation, on huckleberrying exclusions with
him. We used to call him 'Henery.' Some
Of the towns people didn't like him at all,
and thought him sort Of hermit boor, but
be was very kind to children. He loved
birds and the woods, and hated to see birds
shot or rabbits trapped. He would not have
harmed fly His rustication out on The
shore of Walden pond was good deal of al
affectation He would have starved if II
had not been that his sisters and mother
cooked up pies and doughuuts and sent then
to him in basket
"The trouble with Thoreau was that hi
| tried to live on intellectual east wind. ID
| died Young, but would have lived on TO
years had his diet been roast beef and NUT
| ton chops Thoreau was good deal OF /
wag in quiet, humorous way. He one
| nut cloth bandages on the claws of Mrs
| Emerson's hens, that good lady having beel
| sorely tried by her fowls invading the famil.
| flower patch | guess Mrs. Emerson IN
vented the notion of glowing her hens, an
| Thoreau carried out her in structions to til
letter. and then went off and had his laug
| ont
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27
AnVICE TO mOTHERs.

Are you disturbed at night and broken
of your rest by sick child suffering and
crying with pain of cutting teeth? If so,
send at once and get bottle of Mrs.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
teething. It's value is incalculable
1t will relieve the poor little sufferer i'm
mediately. Depend upon it mothers
there is no mistake about it. 1t cure:
dysentery, diarrhoea, regulates the stom
ach and bowels, cures wind co}ic, soft
ems the gums, reduces Inflammation. anC
gives tone and energy to the whole sys-
TEN. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrul
for Children Teething is pleasant TO TIT
taste, and is the prescription OF one o
the oldest and best female nurses and ply
slcians in the United States, and is 70
sale by all druggists throughout tn
world Price % cents per bottle.
feb-2S-m-ws m 1y
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27
Lots Of People Say,
"OH MY
BACK.
AiffinffInH1 Here is Solid
~ Al TESTIMONY
from Hard Working Men,
rr.cbiuist md Builder.

81 have been troubled years with kidney and
bladder difficulty. After using four bottles OF
HUNr's kidney and Liverl REMEDY have been
comnletely cured. William C. Clark, Mason and
Builder Auburn, N. Y.
stealth is better than wealth"
lIachinist.
Mr. George Karg Machinlst, llS5 Ridge s,g Ave,
Philadelphia, Pa, says;-"My disease started when
/ was quite young lad by having weak Kidneys:
have used lust six bottles of HUNTS Kidney and
Iiverl REMEDY and solemnly proclaim, i feel
like new man..
= GOOD counsel has no price, obey it,
Mechanic.
Mr.. Henry Williams, Mechanic, East Bridge
port, Conn, says:-"About two months ago
caught heavy cold, which settled in my kidneys.
got bottle Of HUNTS kidney and Liver
REMEDY and with the first dose began to getwell.'
Light suppers makes long lives" v
a. Railroad Man.
Frank B. Lee, Office N. Y. c. s II. r. r. LITTLE
Falls, N. Y, June 8, 1883, says: my father, u
years old, had severe kidney and bladder disease
for 20 years. urination causing acute PAIN. I'M
weakness was so great he was obliged to wear
rubber bag. Twelve bottles of HUNTS kidne!
REMEDY completely cured him. and we consider
remarkable. We cheerfully recommend It,.
. "Deeds are better than words"
HuNT's kidney and Liverl REMEDY has stool
the test of time. 1t has been before the public fo
| twenty years. and has cured every year thousand
| of people suffering from various diseases of tn
Kidneys and Liver, and kindred disorders, who ha
failed to get relief from doctors and who expecte
never to be cured. Thousands of testimonial
from such persons attest its value. Send for booi
| - "Alls well that ends WE'LL
Sold by all druggists. Price S1.25.
| HUNTS REMEDY CO., Providence, R. I.
| G., n. CRITTENT0N. General Agent, N.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27

Col James L. Fleming prominent grocery
merchant, a member of the firm Of Fleming "
Lotion, Augusta, Ga, makes the following STATE
ment OF the treatment OF valuable horse WIN
Swft's Specific
In the far of 1893 had a valuable colt taken
with a severe case of pinkeye, which resulted in
the most fearful case of blood poisoning have
ever seen. After eight or ten months doctorng
with every remedy that could hear OF, de-
SPARED of a cure At this time the horse was ur =
able TO move, because of swollen limbs. His
right hind legwas as large as mans body, ana
had on it over forty running sores. He had also
a number of large sores on his body and other
limbs He was a most pitable looking object.
and was advised 10 end his sufferings with the
shot gun. He was valuable animal and ! did
not want to lose him. After rackinS my BRAN IN
search for another remedy more eflcaclous; |
thought of Swift's Specific. knew it was invaiu-
able 10 the human family as a blood purifier and
why should it not be for the animal as wells l
did not hesitate but sent last July TO Atlanta for
a supply.
OF, Of water three times day This | contin-
ued for week Then increased the dose to {
OF. of each. and continued for week, linen !
increased TO S OF. and run II for week, When
went back TO 6 o. again. The result was at the
end of the first week the horse had fair appe
title which he had moi had since his sickness. Al
the end of the second week even greater improve
ment was apparent, for many of the sores were
| healing nicely, and the horse manifested desire
TO move about. At the end Of the third week he
began TO show gain in flesh. and had full appetite
| The ; Cling had about disappeared. used il
all abont Il bottles of Swift's Specific and when
quit Its use the horse had only four small sore'
left on him, and they healed up Immediately
| In August last all symptoms OF the dlseas'
passed away. and up TO date no signs Of the re
| turn of the trouble have made their appearance
and the horse has done mules work on m.
| farm.
| Iregard il as one of the most remarkable cure
| | have ever known. Thus this great medicin
has proven boon 10 the animal as well as TO tn
human race
| Augusta, Jan. 9, 1855. JAS. l.. FLEMING.
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free
The SWIFT SPECIFIC Co,
Drawer 3, Atlanta. Ga.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27
VICTOR HUGO.

Said Charles Sumner some dozen years |
ago, "Guizot is probably the greatest in
telligence in France" Using words in the
same large sense we might say, Victor
Hugo is doubtless the greatest magma
ton of France.
We mean, of course, the France of
Hugo's day. This has not been prolific
of great men. For the last half century
France has not produced one great SOL
der It's only statesman of eminent ser
vices and large abilities has been Theirs,
It's only poet has been Victor Hugo, who
has also been its most distinguished nov.
elist. Compared with his French con-
temporaries, the extraordinary man who
has just passed away is entitled to the
supreme eminer ce which his sympathetic
countrymen are now according him. He
was a writer of truly creative and amaz-
ingly brilliant Imagination. No one ever
painted more painfully realistic pictures
of the horrible, the monstrous and the
abnormal in nature and human nature
The "Hunchback Of Notre Dame" and
the "Toilers of the Sea- are types of i'm
FASHIONED fiction, showing creative
genius, glowing diction and dramatic
power. His Last Days of Condemned
: Criminal" and Lies Miserables" exhibit
his extraordinary insight into the woeful
side of humanity and into the saddest
depths of the human heart. In dramas
like "He-nani," "Ruy Bias" and Marion
Delorme" the poets strange sensibility
and rich tenderness shine forth. His best
poetry is rarely imaginative, intensely
imprisoned and full of fire. But his
worst, with which we must include mos
of his dramas, lack continuity of ideas
logical consistency, moral principle ant
comprehensive purpose. A rhapsodis
rather than dramatist, his poetry il
characterized by all the wildness, exu
bcrance and extravaganza Of rhapsodies
And this brings us to the weak side o
Victor Hugo's literary character. III
was born with the reasoning faculty. Hi
dazzling imagination obscured altogethe
his judgment. Whenever be touche
politics or social questions he loses him
self in starless darkness or wander
through mazes of unutterable confusion
Led by sympathies and impulses, not rea
son, he falls into rhapsodies over com
munist cut throats who murder priests
desecrate affairs and burn churches, an
lifts vulgar assassins to the sentiments
elevation of reformers and apostles o
sweetness and light. The worlds great
est poets, like Shakespeare, Homer
Dante, Goethe aud Milton, have not bee
bereft of reason while blessed with imag
nation, nor have the foremost novolist'
such as Scott, Thackery and Dickens
written without purpose higher than
tickle the fancy or intoxicate the imagir
alton. While Victor Hugo has done lit
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27


Now for a word about the origin of the
Sunday newspaper. Years ago a smart
American said to a London newsboy one
Saturday afternoon, when the urchin cried
out, Here's to-morrow's Times" IF you
will cry out The Sunday Times will take
one" The boy said, IAN right Here's yer
ter-morrow's Sunday times The paper was
then printed during the week and sold on
Saturday evening. And to-day only two of
the great London dailies publish Sunday
edition The New York Herald was the first
Of the American dailieS to publish Sunday
edition This was in 1871; but during the
war, one by one, the great dailies of New
York and New England came in. In the
case of the state which published the mos'
pa pers in 1882, the average circulation OF
the Sunday edition was GO per cent of the
circulation of the daily editions, and an in
vestigation proved that in four Massachu
sets towns the Sunday paper went init
every other house.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27

GATH informs the Cincinnati Enquirer
that John Sherman is running for senator
again merely to head off Calico Char
ley" Foster. George Alfred is satisfied
that the presidential bee buzzes as briskiy
as ever in the bonnet of Honest John, but
is also persuaded that when he gropes
around in the dark he will run up agains,
James G. Blaine and produce lively col
lision. Mr.. Townsend is of opinion that
his idolized Pumed Knights has been
made stronger and more popular by de-
feat. 1t may be so, but in that event Mr.
Blaine is the first man who ever mende(
a broken leg by jumping from steeple
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27

GEORGE AUGUSTUS SALA is attracting
large audiences in Australla-not by the
literary merit Of his discourses, but by
the rabid jingoism with which he seasons
them. George informs the Australians
that if Beaconsfield were alive the Rus
sian bear would be very quickly muzzled
and whipped back into its lair. The fer
vid applause elected by utterances of this
character indicates that England may in
an emergency receive valuable aid from
her most distant colonies. The presence
of Canadian boatmen and Australian
volunteers in Egypt during the present
troubles possibly foreshadows- much
more compact union of the British En-
nire
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27

self. are proofs most convincing that the
present day and generation are far advanced
toward what we are pleased to term barbar-
ism, when applying test to nations beyond
the pale of civilization.
Stand with me at the dirty entrance to the
carriage way to the Brooklyn bridge,
through and along which hundreds of car
riages pass every wtek, bearing alleged
mourners in the rear of hearse, containing
the remains of relative or friend. Are
they of the better, the upper classes Note
the laughter; note the general demeanor,
observe the bearing, and catch the drift OF
the conversation of the people seated in the
carriages. Solemn, affected, in griefa Not
at all. One would suppose 1t was pleasure
excursion, a trip acros' the marvellous me-
cbanical experiences that spans the turbu-
lent waters Of the East river. Are they OF
the lower, the humber classa Sec them
smoking, laughing, hilarious. absolutely full
of wild hurrah.
"Drive with them across the bridge, rattle
| over the dirty stones Of the alleged model
city, the dirtiest in the country, go with
them through the broad portals of Green
wood cemetery, or into the consecrated
| grounds of Calvary cemetery. See them
wander about the graves, listen to theil
| chatter, see them returning, stop at the va
| rious hostelries anu road houses and bee
rooms that fringe and horizon those sacret
grounds. See them drink and laugh AM
smoke SEQ them fight and wrestle Sc
them race coach against hearse, undertake
against mourner What is it? Are the,
barbarians? Oh, no; they are New Workers
What have they been doingf Engaged il
some solemn ceremonial, oppressed wit
grief. burdenel with affection; have the,
been depositing the beloved dust of de
parted friend in the holy grounl9 Oh, no
at all Obeying the customs Of the times Il
which they live, they have been planting
the ''remains" of an old comrade. There
no use of getting away from it; these are Ut
pleasant facts, but they ara facts, or wha
the customary writer in ordinary newspf
| pers would call the "exact facts"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-27
---------l-l7--- -
TIE FASHIONS IN JOKES.
For the Benefit of Young Humorists Who
Have just Made Their Debut.
Merchant Trayeier

For the Benefit of Young Humorists Who
Have just Made Their Debut.
Merchant Traveler.l
The plumber joke is getting little out
of season, but 1t may be packed in camphor
and will be in style when the freezes come
again.
The roller-skate joke is very popular ana
is worn on all occasions, either Win OF "i'u-
out trimming.
The rich editor joke does not appear TO
pail upon the taste. 1t is quite oeooihing
with with passementerie edging'
Snrino poetry jokes are undergoing
revival and are quite au fat in recherche
CIRCLES With waste basket overskirt they
nov bs worn either morning OF evening in
the house.
The young man-anl-girrs-pa joke holds its
own. and is really one of the most popular
and fashionable seen in polite society.
The mule joke is releSate1 to the COM
moner classes, AMI may really be called
aold fashioned 1t is still in favor in the
rural districts, and seems destined to con
tinue so for several years.
The angry wife-at-3-o'clock-n -the-fnorn
ing joke i, not in such favor as formerly
but still many insist upon making it part oil
their daily wear
The liver-pad joke has almost disappeared
Occasionally, however, it may be seen tleo
in with knot of RIB n quite prsttlly.
The hone it-politician joke is too decol
| lete to be popular II cut high in the nee'
| it might reign FIR brief season
The sleeping policeman joke had man.
| friends ami babe fair to become courtly II
| its style, but it lacked tone and fell into lin
| with ordinary styles,
| Puns are popular with all classes Inc.
| may be worn as bangles, and in an intinlt
variety of ways.
The boarding house pie, lash, or gum-sho
steak joke enjoys periodical renalsSanc
and seems to retain its original lustel
When made up properly it is still favorit'
The young husband-paregoric joke may
worn on evening occasions, and is net alt
gether out of style.
The fashions in other lines continue abol
the same as per last report. OF course, wit
new demands come new supplies, and thong
there is nothing entirely new the old thinl
are so artistically worked over that the
pass quite readily for original designs.