The Press., 1885-04-09
| WESTERN ED1ToR's Op1NroN.--We

A WESTERN EDIToR's OPNIoN.--We were in Al Blodgetts saloon this week giving our views on Cleveland's B cabinet and in other respects minding our busi- ness, when Gringo Baker came in and said we were liar. We denied the charge and told him he was no gentleman. At this juncture, had we not quickly dodged, he would have knocked us down; as it was, he only grazed our nose. Knowing him to be drunk, and therefore helpless, we darted out of the saloon and ran to our office with as much celerity as our game leg would allow, and locked ourselves in our sanctum. Had we not thus nobly re- trained from combat we would soon have yet we understand that he calls us @ red nosed coward. We are quite willing to be misunderstood by such men, and we reit- crate in this public manner our views on the cabinet, for which Gringo called us . liar. We believe 1t should contain 8 man who will recognize literary ability in giv- ing out the postoffices. And there is loaded shotgun ill our sanctum which says so, too.-Butte (Ari.) Journal.
 MOTHERS SHOULD NOTE THs,-Uuder this caption an old physician writes to g Cincin- natl Medical Journal, that in view of the fact that people living at distance from cities are frequentl obliged to resort to rough mix ures already put up for use, they should pro- vide themselves with on y such remedies as are known to be free from opiates, poisons and narcotics; thus avoiding not only dan- ger, but even fatal results. He recommends the recently discovered Red Star Cough Cure which analyses and tests by various Boards of Health proved to be purely vegetable as well as prompt, effective and entirely harmless.
 Chicago News: 'sGood morning, Elder Henpeck; you have been away ?"
 "Yes just returned from Australia"
 'sHow is your family? ?'
 "Alas, I found my poor wife dead on my return"
 "You don't tell me 1" -...
 "Yes, poor soul, she died six weeks ago, and didn't hear of it until got home yes- terday" -....
 "lhe sad news must have well-nigh broken your heart" es
 ''No, not so bad as that. You see time is 8 great healer of the wounded heart. She has been dead six weeks, you know"
 DEoE1r-Who can measure the deceit tn at is daily practiced upon the sick and afiicted7 Bad men usc deceit to enrich themselves by selling worthless rem give to the public the best possible evidence of their value in the testimony of many wel-known physi. clans. These Bitters are an infallibe remedy in all female disorders.
 The minister (reproachfully) "Ah, James, I'm sorry to hear this! thought ,ou were Q steadfast testotaler! l" James (who is too full to walk): ''Sho am, sir, but I'm no big oted ane!"
 Do not be deceived ask for and take only B H. Douglass & Sons' perfectedCa Capsicum CoughDrcps for Coughs Colds and Sore Throats. D. s. and Trade Mark on every drop Retail price, 10 cents per qsar- ter pound.
 Military red tape required the appointment of "A major, a captain, and a first lieutenant as a board to ondemn a sick mule to be shot to death at Omaha The mule died during the session of the gallant board
 Bronchitis is cured by PoTAsxA.
 CHAs. CosaRoyE, who has not been able to attend to his business for years, was inter- viewed by our reporter yesterday, and says For years was troubled with Bright's disease of the Kidneys. The doctors gave mo up. Through an Eastern friend obtained bottle of Sulphur Bitters. Itook five bottles and now am almost we'll. Keith sells them.- San Franeisco Call