Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-02-27
About Weddings

A wedden IL a sorter evacuation
attera long siege, as our history
would sa. 1t corresponds ter handin
over a fort at the end Ov a struggle.
a Teller goes ter see his CURL num-
Der ov years more nor less, Till he fines
no nuther CURL will have him. Then
he pops the question an tells her he
low her like she waz a house on fire,
and he will go drownd hisself ded, if
she don't JOIN herself to him acOrdin'
to lor.
There's 4 Logon handed down
from ancient times to the effect that
the CURL replied to a offer ov marage,
"Ask Pat" However true this waz a
100 ycrz ago, faint SO now. The
gurl ov 1885 interrupts him fore he's
trough askin her, and turks out
yes" in wa sudding enuifto skare
anything but lover.
Teoretikally there is varus kinds
ov wcddins, practically there's only
one, an that IL the first wedden.
This takes place when life and
everything else looks hummin. The
fare femail corner ov the cOntrack
looks at "wedded bliss" like it waz a
perpetual New Years Reception and
Fourth of July. Jest as if cob-webs
an sour milk wazen't to be in her
particular puddin' Of life.
The other party to the rash act IL
bout az carrid away, to. lie sillyqui-
yes so; "Ain't gittin' 70 cent? a day
in rOr cash."
After a little practice l guess l can
keep the wolf off the front door step,
Lucelia plays "Slippen' up the Golden
Stairz," and "Wait for the Clouds to
roll over" with gusto, so | believe
she'd make a musk teacher.
But she shant work while I'm
havin' my present income. No, sir!
Then there's the pile ov stuff our
mothers gave us-let's see-"COmic-
tory onto the Bible" two story wash
stand; mouse-trap and spinning
wheel seal-skin shawl and marble
top chair-I meme table; l CESS | can
fix the broken leg; baby-rattle ;Lord
preserve us from needin' itright oiD
Lucelia's got pairs ov silk stOckins,
4 duzen towels an I've got quantities
of dsnsin-pumps. We won't have to
add much ter go to house keepin'."
The Young Lady, thorts are in a
rliilrunt strain, but equally gloris
"Iltr fl endz had tOle her she would
be old made, and now wouldn't
they be envyus! And didn't she
feel happy! An wouldn't it he sweet
to keep house with that jolly Teller
what ALWAYS had SIGH white hans"
And coulden't she turn somer-
set, COZ she felt so skittish; Well,
should CYCLE!
Besides the first wedden menshund
(where J GU invite everybody and git
all you CAM there is the Wooden
Weddin, to get cords 0v rollin'-pins,
matches and tooth-picks; Glass
Weddens, for collectin cent salt.
sellers, mitchell gobblits and lamp
ahimneys; Linen Weddens, for
layin' in cotton handkcrchels and
muzzlin table clothes; Iron Wcddens
for stockin up with variety ol
ranges, furnaces, spit tunz and 50
forth; Silver Weddens, when you get
nickle plated spunz' and whiIc-wash-
ed cake-baskels; And Golling We'd
lens, when YOU get-lett usually, COZ
mos people are 2 bury to tend gold
weddens, now-a-daz, an there amt
one woman outer hundrid thousand
what can live with one man so yerz
without stoppin'.
Oh, but like weddcns myself, |
remember distinkly when my sister
Mary got married, Crhe cards called
her Marie, but that was typograf-
like error into the manuskrip.)
Cake? Cake? Well, perhaps ther
want Ask the grocery-man. / was
sick abed for a week-her levin home
afleck'd me so. Mother cried toto
see the cake disappear, l guess, or
else she thort she'd fall short ov
household u-l0-selz, Sister logged
away 80 trunks fuller stuff. (She
had earned it all, by waslin' dishes
for ma at the rate Of 10 cents week
for 8 months).
First night she went ava we camp
cd out on a fower-barrel, for supper.
(They had carried of the extension
rableD and l sat on the ror 81 ov moth
ing, sippin bilge water outer tea
pot.
The pictures and chairs were all
removed; started to scrape land
scopes off ther wallpaper in one
place. an we amt got carpet for the
front room yet.
Corse, weddens are great instit-
ushuns, but tween you an the hitch
in post, if 1 nu where there waz
goin' ter be one, an 1 didn't own no
Share into it, I'd blow il up with din
ner-mite or mi name amt John!