davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04
BETRAYING AN UNDERTAKEN.

Early one morning. three or four days
ago, an individual walked into a down.
town undertaker's office, remarked on the
weather, spoke of the fair, and seemed to
be going away without making an errand,
when he suddenly turned and said:
sMy old woman died last night. and |
am thinking some of buying a coffin and
having her buried. Got time to figger a
little ~
He said he lived in S%pringwells, and the
undertaken Figured" The man wanted
a plain coffin and the services of an under
taker to make things go right. Two of
the neighbors had teams, and they would
be enough.
This is business as well as grief" OBJ
served the mar as they figured. sol
course I want a decent coffin, but nothing
gaudy. want a fair funeral, but no seal
lops. Put everything right down on a cash
basis, and your money will be ready as
soon as the procession begins to move"
The undertaken discounted until he
could go no futher, and it was agreed that
he should drive down with the coffin at 2
O'Clock. 3
1.-TWO o'clock, or thereabouts, said the
man as he left. There's no great rush,
being the weather is bad. Any time from
9 to 3 will do. There's no children to
wash and comb, and the neighbors have
begun to put on clean shirts before this.
Soon after 2 o'clock the undertaken reach
ed the house. The vehicle containing the
coffin was being backed up to the gate,
when the man came out and said:
''Wait a minute, Kurnal. Come in here. =
They entered the house, and propped up
in bed and vigorously slipping soup was a
woman.
That's her" said the man II thought
she was as dead as a crowbar when | left
home, but I'll he hanged if she didn't come
pended agitation"
The undertaken sighed and sat down.
Il know just how you feel about it, "
continued the man. Fact is, I'm rather
Unsupported iiy SELL, out Niid1 caH VIC uo
It's kinder embarrassing for you to drive
up here with a coffin and find the victim
eating mutton soup. but sich is life. Them
fellers across the road are tickled and
laughing at the box you are in, but don't
blame me. l come home with all plans
laid, and she smashed them to slivers.'
Show do you fee? asked the under
taker of the woman
Bully, 'she replied, as she licked the
spoon. s.Yon'n Caleb won't hold no fu-
neral on me just yet"
''Don't mind her." said the husband in
soothing tones. 'She was always kinder
singular, and | assure you she wouldnht
hurt your feelings for a thousand dollars.
I'm awful sorry about this, for ] know how
cheap you feel, but | dasn't kill her, you
know? -
s'No."
s'Course not, but when she goes fol
sure the job is yours, and you can II on
it."
The undertaken mounted his vehicle and
started off, and when he was a quartet
of a mile away the man called after him
~ know how you feel, but You mus
brace up. The next time will fetch hel
sure pop.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04
A NOVEL

A new plan of returning undelivered
letters to their senders is proposed by a
Chicago concern which has filed articles
of incorporation at Springfield. The
senders to be benefited are patrons of the
association. buying of it for So a book con-
tanning 900 slips in the form of stamps,
each bearing in print the following: IF
not delivered in ten days return to National
Letter-Return association, Chicago, III"
Each stamp is numbered, and the subscri-
ber's name is placed opposite this number
ina book kept by the company. By refer
ring to this record the association ascertains
letter, and putting it-unopened, of course
in an envelope mails it to him. The plan is
supposed to be of benefit to business houses
and others who havea large correspondence,
and is specially commended to ladies on
the ground that it will enable them TO feel
sure their letters will not be tempered
with, but returned promptly to them
through the association. One of the in
corporators said that the scheme was
simply an arrangement between the
compan and its subscribers. He pro
posed to assure the authorities the com
pany would not knowingly permit its plan
to be used for lotteries and other forbid
den schemes. 1t is calculated that only
about one ofone hundred letters so stamped
would be undelivered by the post office
To mail this one would cost the associa
ton a traction over 2 cents, the price of 1
postage stamp. A profit of about Is cent
a book of 600 stamps is calculated on
Assistant Postmaster Squires thinks th'
plan would not be objectionable to the de
partment.- Chicago Nesos.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04
IN SEPTEMBER.
Alice Carey.

Mornings frosty grow, and cold,
Brown the grass Oh hill and void;
Crows are cawing sharp and clear
Where the rustling corn grows scar:
Mastering focks of blacKbirds call:
Here and there a few leaves fall,
In the meadows larks sing sM Get,
Chirps the cricket at our feet
In September.
Moons are sunny, warm, and still
A golden haze o'erhangs the hill,
Amber sunshine IS on the floor
Just within the open door;
Still the crickets call and creak,-
Never found, though long we seek
Oft comes faint report of gum;
Busy flies buzz in the sum-
In September.
Evenings chilly are, and damp,
Early lighted is the lamp;
Fire burns, and kettle sings,
Smoke ascends in thin blue rings,
On the rug the children lie;
In the west the soft lights die;
From the elms a robins song
Rings out sweetly, fingers long
In September.
Elizabeth Cole, in 81. Nicholas for Sepfemb
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04
VOL. III.


| hold that Christian peace abounds.
Where charity is seen; that when
We climb to heaven, it's ON the rounds
OF love to men.
| hold all else, named piety,
A selfish scheme, a ain pretense,
Where centre is not can there be
Circumference?
That i moreover hold and dare
Affirm where'er my rhyme may 90
Whatever things be sweet or fair,
Love make them Sc.
IT'S not the wide pbylactery,
Nor stubborn taste, norstated prayers.
That makes us saints; we judge the tree
BY hat 1t bears.
And when a man may live apart
From worlds, on theologic trust,
know the blood about his heart
Is dry as dust.
-1Jjcp (O1p7
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

should happen in so short a time ?" said
Sabina, brightly.
AS if Love-the rogue-did not always
com upon us swiftly and silently. like the
flight of a golden winged bird.
The time had come for the o~ut-blossom-
ing of Sabina Gray's heart-that was all!
Helm FOq7est Cruces.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

First gentleman-'1 beg your pardon
sir, but is not your name Smythe ?"
Second gentleman-"No, sir; my name is
Smith. You have evidently mistaken me
for my son.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

Our stock of Canton floor mattings, at
1Gc., &c.,, zoe. and 25c., are better in quail
ity than we ever sold before. We bought
them direct of an importer at his closing
out sale, and our tariff of charges will be
found much lower than elsewhere, either
in city or country. Come and see them.
T.. b. Humphreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

Turkey red table damask, sixty inches
wide, made by the Renfrew Mills and war
ranted never to fade. This is strong talk,
but they say so and we believe them.
Eight new patterns just opened at Hum
phrey's.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04
EDWARDS.
.RICKLAYING AND PLAsTERING,

The subscribers announce that they have To-
Gated in Woodstown, and are prepared to exc
cute orders for bri%cklaying, plastering and all
kinds of mason work, by contract or by the
day, at reasonable rates. Residence, N%ewtown,
I'd door south OF Railroad, East Side.
66m. a. BkO.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

New stock of mems light weight merino
shirts and drawers, just the thing to put
on in place of winter weights, at Hum
phreys.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

1890 yards calico, Simpsons best goods.
warranted fast colors, at sc. a yard. All
the new spring styles just received and
opened at Humphreys.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

Boys percale shirts with collars at 40
cts. Boys cheviot shirts with collars at 40
cts. All kinds mems shirts at Hum
phreys.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

Cultivate forbearance till your heart
yields a fine crop of it. Pray for a short
memory as to all unkindnesses .-Spargeon.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

We have a good hook lace shoe for men
at 81. so, and the same in youths at $1.25.
These are fine goods and will do honest
wear. We also have a nice grain button
shoe for ladies at 81 .25, the best We ever
had at the price. +. B. Humphreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

Children's button shoes at Soc. to $1.00
The real genuine solar tips at S1.O0 per
pair. L. b. Humphreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

Ladies' Balbriggan hose, extra length,
regular made, no seams, 90 cts. Same
goods, silk clicked, double heels, 25c. All
sizes, all colors in children's ribbed hose,
6 to 81, 10 cts. a pair. L. b. Humphreys
& Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

Ladies dressed kid button shoes, the new
style toe, stylish and durable, $500 a pair.
K. b. Humphreys q Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04

Short lengths of neat plaid wooden cassi-
mere, at 25 cts. per yard, worth 30 cts,
just the thing for children's suits. r. b.
Humphreys & Co. tt
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-09-04
MONITOR and

That we can, in connection with the MONITOR,
secure you n subscription to any paper or
magazine published, at a much lower price
than the regular rate, and you will do well to
let us know if you are contemplating a sub
scription to any publication.
TIE MONITOR, Woodstown, N. ].
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19

The V1ND1oAroR labors through a column
editorial in trying to get around the vindica-
ton of Attorney General Blair by the Supreme
Court of the State, and the consequent con-
dennation of partizan legislature which
tried to smirch his official character for polit-
ical effect.-Val1ey Viayinian.
The fact, of record, is this: That on the
18th of March, 1878. the following law
was enacted-"The Attorney General
shall receive the sum of $4,000 annually
for his services and shall not be entitled to
ana further compensation. With this
law unrepealed, unamended, and un-
touched on the statute books, Attorney
General Blair for his services Of two years
and nine months received SLY ,04O as com
pensation from the State. If Republi-
can Court of Appeals had indicated or
attempted to vindicate the legality of such
a proceeding it would only have fallen in
TO the pit itself. The Law is conceded to
be an intricate affair by the average citi-
zen. but in his most credulous moments
that citizen has never believed that law
fixing public servants salary at $4,000
DER annum, Can be fairly construct"
into meaning &C, 900 per annum!
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19
NEARLY Il MILLION IN THE
SLATE TREASURY

When the U. S. Supreme Court made
its assault on the State of Virginia. the
VINDICAToR advised the people to keep
cool. There was no method to en-.
force the views of the Supreme Court,
nor will there ever be. There can be no
more debt question in Virginia, not even
with the assistance of Republican Fed
eral Supreme Court and Republican Dis
trict and Circuit U. S. Judges trying to col
lect Virginia g taxes, against her laws. The
official statement of the Virginia State
Treasury. last Tuesday afternoon, showed
the balance INCLUDING the Miller and
Literary FUND.- to be $S11, 1922. A heal
thy showing. Where would that balance
have been if the Republican State officials
had been still in power fastening to bow
to Justice Stanley Mathews coupon decis-
ions, and surrendering to those new tax
tax collectors, the Clerks of the United
States Courtsf Virginia under Demo-
cratic rule with nearly million dollars
in the Treasury, shows that the Riddle
berger settlement has friends who have
not only the loyalty and courage but also
the ability to make it a success.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19

the safe progress of the district business,
and Collector Elicit, of the Richmond
district, has retained in his office the Sec
ond deputy and appointed as one of his
deputies Otis II. Russell, former Collec-
tor of that district. Neither of these col.
lectors. we presume, has escaped critic
ism, but they have recognized the fact
chat the Democratic party is not for day
but for all time and that the officer who,
through folly or timidlty, is induced to
turn over the business of the government
into inexperienced hands simply to crafty
inconsiderate clamor, deserves neither the
confidence of his government nor that OF
his party.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19

The Staunton v1ND1cAToR still declines to
state in what particulars the Wing showed ga
lack of nerve" in standing by the Riddleber-
ger bill and it's Readjuster auxiliaries after the
adverse April decisions of the Supreme Court
of the United States. -Riczmoad Wing.
We don't recollect having charged you
with it. On the contrary. one rowelling that
you gave Judge Hughes 'monstrous'
decision commanded the VINDIcAToR's
unqualified admiration. A companion
piece to it would be for you now to frank
ly inform the people of Virginia that all
the recent attempts to unsettle the Rid
dleberger bill we're made by Republican
U. S. Supreme Court at Washington, a
Republican U. S. District Judge at Nor
folk and Republican U. S. Circuit Judge
at Richmond. 1t will give them better
idea of what sort of interest the Republic
can party takes in settling the Virginia
debt.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19
Il NEW STORY.

Next week. the VINDICATOR will COM
mence the publication of the illustrated
story, IA Family Affair."" by the late
Hugh Conway AS our readers are
aware, the author died few weeks ago
at the early age of thirty seven years.
leaving this, his last story, running
through macmillan g Magazine" The
history of the author, whose real name
was F. L. Fargus, IS one of the most re-
markable of the times. His fame, which
lasted only three short years before he
was cut off by death, arose with meteoric
suddenness in 1888. He was an auctioneer
by occupation and in his leisure moments
wrote SCALED Back" which appeared in
"Arrowsmith's Annual" a magazine of
local fame published in Bristol, Eng,
where the author lived. The weird char
acter of the story and the wonderful in
genuity of its plot made an excitement
at once in the literary world and the
author became famous. Then followed
''Dark Days." and now the last, "a Fam.
lily Affair."" His pen name of Conway
was selecCed because as boy he had been
to sea on the British school-frigate of that
name. His last story is being published
in America from advanced sheets furnish.
ed by the proprietors of the English news.
paper right, who paid for their right
100000. Though little more than hall
completed, as yet, it has made profound
sensation in England and this country. 1t
will run through from twelve to sixteen
ment will appear little in advance of its
conclusion in the London magazine.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19
PATIENCE.

The first and chief duty of Democrat
appointed to Office is, when help il requir-
ed in the discharge of its duties, to secure
such help as will make his administration
a benefit to the government, vindication
of the judgment of the President who ap-
pointed him, and credit to the Demo-
cratic party which in measure he is
supposed to represent. A man appointed
to an important post who, at one swoop,
sweeps the deck of every experienced man
and puts IN new crew as inexperienced as
himself, takes advantage of the first oppor-
tunity presented, to prove that his own ap-
pointment by the President was mistake.
Gratis, however. who do not take this view
of it. Without rejecting on the difficulties
that must su rrOuDd new man at the out
set, who takes an important Office of the
duties of which he is ignorant; without
rejecting that he, and not they, must
suffer In case of miscarriage; without re-
memberjng that they have not enough in
auence. however much they might desire
it. to restore him to place if he should
lose it by errors arising from yielding to
their wishes; without considering the fact
that an important Federal official has
quite as much at stake in conserving the
best interests of his party against damage
by any omission or commission of his as
they can have, and without recalling the
fact that he personally has infinitely more
at stake than they can possibly have, these
we]lmeaniDg but unreasonable Demo-
Gratis manage to make themselves miserable
and all who are forced to listen to them,
weary, with their plants. Sometimes they
proceed to open demonstration, as they
have just done in Romney, VIVA. 1t seems
that the new Democratic Internal Revenue
Collector McGraw, whose confirmation the
Senate passed by. has reappointed as his de-
putty at Romney Harvey Wooden, the Re-
publican incumbent. Some of the Demo-
Gratis thereupon held an indignation meet
ing at which speeches were made,
and the broom on the Cleveland
and Hendricks campaign pole, cut
off and sent to Governor Jackson, to be
presented to an officer who will "use it
as intended" Beyond giving much amuse.
ment and satisfaction to the Republican
party, it would be hard to see what result
these inconsiderate exhibitions can yield.
In Virginia, the Democratic Federal Off
Gals, we are glad to see. have been able to
procure practical readjustment of their
offices without having had to turn them
over bodily into the hands OF in
experienced men, or being subjected |
to the annoyance of ''indignation |
meetings. In the Staunton district !
Collector Shepperd has retained suf- |
fcient expert Republican aid to insure \
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19
The Driver-Sillings Levy.


| Edtt0r Ptn0tcGt0r:
On the Sd Saturday, the 10th of May, the
annual meeting of the East Augusta Mutual
! Insurance Company was held. AS inquirine
minds when flowing in the proper channel
| should be enlightened and freedom of
| thought and speech are among the rights OF
our time and country, would like through
! the VINDIoAToR to find out the views of some
of my brother stockholders on the action taken
| by the annual meeting in regard to the Driver
| and Sillings case, and if my views are wrong
have them corrected. AS will be remembered,
| by small vote the President is directed to
| make levy and pay Mr.. Sillings for loss he
has sustained. Article vi. of the Bylaws
provides for transfer of a policy when a
member sells property insured in our compa-
ny. No such transfer was ever applied for or
made; hence Mr.. Sillings was not q stock
holder.
Have twenty members the right to order
an unconstitutional levy on about $40 other
members of the company! This is the point
I wish to know about. The Constitution can
be changed at any annual meeting, two thirds
of those present concurring CART. XIV This,
however, was not an attempt to alter or amend
the Constitution. but can only be construed
as an assumption of power, that does not ex-
list, directing the President to make levy in
violation of the laws that govern the company.
SuDmlt tnat tne PRESIDENT, MIR. IOWber-
man, even now, has no right to order this levy;
and if it is ordered, he has no power to force
payment of the assessment, nor strike from
the list a member who does not respond. I
would be glad if he or some other stakeholder
would give us the benefit of his Judgment on
this matter. I am open to conviction, and if
I am wrong I would be glad to abandon my
error At all events if the levy is, or shall yet
be made, I expect cheerfully to contribute my
moity, although from the action of the annual
meeting am D1ssENTER.
June I'd, 1 1856.
I'VE cannot speak by authority, but We
think we have heard that President Towber-
man, himself, agrees with ''Dissenter," and
does not conceive that the action of the Asso-
citation gives him the legal power to make the
levy.-ED. V1ND1oAToR.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19
POLITICAL NOTES,

Yesterday was to he observed in Dan
vile as DAY of primary election, held to
de eide the respective claims of Messrs.
Burr and McDearman, upon the place of
postmaster of that town. All registered
Democratic voters were entitled to vote
The Republican County Convention of
Rockingham, Saturday. adopted resolu-
tions endorsing Senator Malone for re-
election as Chairman of the Republican
state Committee. Lit. Gov. Lewis, who
may be put down as an outspoken oppo-
nent of Malone, was, strange to say, cleo
ted by the same convention delegate to
the State Convention. The Rockingham
Republicans will make their nominations
for the legislature on the 18th of August.
The first meeting to send delegates to
the Democratic State Convention was held
in Rappahannock last week. The delega-
tion was uninstructed. Up to this date,
the names which have been put in
print for the first place on the ticket are
Judge Staples, Gen. FitZ Lee, John s.
Barbour. George Cabell, P. F. McKin-
ney, Holmes Conrad, John T. Harris, e.
T. O'Ferrall and Robert Beverley. On
the Republican side the names that have
been put in print for the first place are
John S. Wise, VIM. Malone, Frank S.
Blair, ex-C0ngressman Bowen of the 9th
district, John Paul lwho positively de.
clines) and Gen. Groner of Norfolk. One
of these, Mr.. Blair. has been declared for
by the Wythe county Republicans.
Hon. l.. e. Dennis. for twenty years
prominent in carpet-bag politics in Flor
ida, and who managed the ''Archer pre-
cinct," manipulation which gave the State
to Hayes. died last week. He died in Ala.
chua county of dellrium tremens, after
drinking two quarts of whiskey on bet,
The Archer precinct which has been for
gotten by this time. was made to give 2O9
more majority for Hayes than there were
votes actually cast. OF late years Dennis
had been living a comparatively quiet life
on his property of which he had accumuia
ted considerable. Last week the noted
Tom Anderson, who was at the head of
the Louisiana Returning Board which
gave that State to Hayes, was dismissed
from the New Orleans Custom House. as
was c. G. Antoine (colored) who was 1t.
Governor of Louisiana with Gov. Kellogg.
The report from Washington is that the
President will. in pursuance of sstime
honored Senatorial courtesy" retain the
postmasters at Woodstock and Peters,
burg, the homes of the two senator's, Rid.
dleberger and Malone.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19

Cluverius was not sentenced last Tues
day as expected, his counsel asking for q
postponement. The Court acceded, and
fixed to-day as the day. The convicted
man preserved the same cold, stolid de-
meanor, and on his way back to Jail the
prisoner remarked to an acquaintance,
that he expected to "be in Texas next
fall"