Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-14
NYE's ToBACCoNIsr TRIEND.
He Had No Wares About Which he
Could Tell Lie

Could Tell a Lie.
OMAHA, Oct. Over at Kasota juno
ton, the other day, found a living curl
osity. He was a man Of about medium
height perhaps about IS years Of age. Of
quiet disposition. and not noticeable OF
peculiar in his general manner. He runs
the railroad clearinghouse at that point,
and the one odd characteristic which be
has makes him we'll known all through
three or four States. / could not illus
trate his eccentricity any better than by
relating q circumstance that occurred
20 me at the junction last week had
Just eaten breakfast there and paid for
it. l stepped up q the cigar case and
asked this man if he had "a Iattling good
cigar"
Without knowing 10 had struck the
very point upon which this man seems to
be a crank, II you viii allow me that ex-
PRECISION, though il doesn't ~ very well
in this place. He looked at me in a sad
and su5dued manner, and said:
emo. sir, haven't rafting good ci-
gar In the house. I have some cigars
that I bought for Havana Fillers,' but
they are mostly 1lled with pieces OF Col
orado Maduro' Oyeralls. There's 3 box
over yonder that / bought for good.
straight lQ-cent cigars, but they are only
a chaos Of hay and Flora Elmo and dam
mo, all socked into a Wisconsin wrapper.
over in the other end OF the case is a brand
OF cigars that were to knock the tar out
Of all other kinds of weeds. according to
the urbane rustler who sold them TO me,
and then drew on me before | could light
one OF them. Well, instead Of being 6ne
Colorado ClarO.' with high-priced wrap
per, they are common Mexican stinBarOs
In a Mother Hubbard wrapper. The COM
mercial tourist VINO sold me those cigars
and then drew on me q sight was good
deal better on the draw than his cigars
are. II You Will notice, you will see that
each cigar has spinal column 20 it, and
this outer debris Il wrapped around it.
One man bought a cigar out OF that box
last week. ] told him, though, Just as [
am telling YOU, that they were no good,
and IL he b0ught one he would regret Il.
But he took one and went out on the We
randa to smoke il. Then be stepped on a
melon rind and fell with great force on
his side. When we picked him up, he
gasped once OF twice and expired. We
opened his vest hurredly and found that
fn falling. bis bouquet de glue-factoro
cigar with the spinal column, had been
driven through his breast bone, and had
penetrated his heart The wrapper
of the cigar wasn't so much as cracked"
"But doesn't it impair your trade to run
on in this wild, reckless way about your
ciears?'
ct may at first. but not after awhile.
i always tell people what my cigars are
made OF. aud then they can't believe me.
So after awhile they get to believe what /
say about them. | often wonder that no
cigar man ever tried this way before. /
do just the same way about my lunch
counter. II a man steps up aud wants a
fresh ham sandwich / give it to him II
"a not I bur - o I ali ~
so. II you turn my sandwiches over you
viii find the date Of its publication on
every one. II they are not fresh and |
have no fresh ones, tell the customer
that they are not so blamed fresh as the
young man with the gauZe mOustache,
but that / can remember very we'll
when they were fresh, and If his artifi-
cial teeth Mt him pretty well ne can try
one.
cts just the same with boiled eggs.
have a rubber dating-stamp. and as soon
as the eggs are turned over to me by the
hen for inspection. date them. Then they
are boiled and another date in red is
stamped on them. II one OF my clerks
should date an egg ahead / would fire
him. too quick.
son this account people who know me
viii skip meal at Missouri junction. in
order 10 come here and eat things that
are not clouded with mystery. l do not
keep any poor stun when ] can help it,
but il | do. don't conceal the horrible
fact Oh course new cook will sometimes
smuggle late date on TO a medieval egg
and sell il, but he bias to change his name
and fee.
Il suppose that IL every eating-house
should date everything and be square
with the public. it would be an old story
and wouldn't pay. but as it is. no one try
lng % compete with me- i do well ont OF
il, and people come here out Of curiosity
Il good deal.
''Ihe reason I try to do right and win
the public esteem Is that the general
public never did me any harm, and the
majority Of the people who travel are a
kind that l may meet in a future state.
! should hate 70 have a thousand travel
ing men holding nuggets OF rancid ham
sandwich under my nose through all eter-
nifty and know that had lied about it.
It's an honest fact. II / knew I'd got to
stand up and apologize for my handmade,
Rll-arornd, seamless pies and quarantined
cigars, heaven would be no object"
RITZ I'VE