The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1885-09-26

MAN proposes" and turning to a
sister Wallhower she remarked that
she was tired of hearing those old
sayings that didn't have u word of
truth in them.
81 don't enjoy poetry as a general
thing" said an old lady who drop
ped in on us recently, "but when l
step cut to feed the hogs and histe
myself on the fence, and throw my
soul into Il few lines of Captain
jerks it don't seem as if this airth
was made to live ON, after ALL"
Persecution" remarked the par
son, "is good for us; it develops far
best traits and makes us better"
"That is true replied the sexton;
lust see how much better and more
useful barley is after it has been
malt-treated." But the parson
couldn't understand the figure at all.
Lady in registry office: 81 am
afraid that little girl won't do for
nurse; she is too small. l should
hesitate to trust her with the baby"
Clerk: "Her size, madam, we look
upon as her greatest recommends
ton. You should remember that
when she drops a baby it does't
have very far to fall"
A minister forgot to take his SER
mon with him to church, and his
wife, discovering the mistake, sent
it to him in charge of a little boy,
who was to receive ten cents for the
job. Presently he returned for the
money. "You delivered the SER
mon, did your she asked. II jes'
guy it to him, mum; he's deliverin'
of it himself"
Milkman-Johnny, did you put
water in the milk this morning?
New Assistant-Yes, sir.
"Don't you know that is wicked,
johnny"
"But you told me to mix water
with the milk"
ayes, but l told you to put the
water in first and pour the milk
into it. Then, you see, we can tell
people we never put water in our
milk"
"Good gracious" said the hen,
when she discovered the porcelain
egg in her nest, 81 shall be a brick
layer next"
Drops of water falling continu-
ously upon two inch oak plank
would wear a hole through it in
about thirty-fve years. Moral
Drink beer.
Sir" exclaimed the orator, "has
the Indian any rights?" Gle has,
said the chairman, "but he gets left
when he tries to assert them"
Sam Jones, the evangelist has
opened a campaign to "save" Chica-
go. His great-grandchildren will
carry on the business at the old
stand.
A funeral is tiresome preachers
opportunity. Turn him on to a
large congregation and he will make
the mourners wish the party had
never died.
No, "Viola," we hardly think il
possible that the reason they cal
them giddy girls is because they are
apt to make the young mems heads
swim.
The fact that when an elephant
has the chills five gallons of run
and whiskey are prescribed, lead'
one to suspect that the elephant il
a native of Kentucky.
The man who breaks in new Sc
Of store teeth may not have tn,
l blood of martyrs in him, but he ha
about everything else needed to in
sure success in that BUSINESS.
A writer has discovered that per
| sons l.. captivity live short time
This may be Il rule; but we know q
= some married men who have attain
, ed remarkable age,
"Tell me what the lady ha
skctched ?" said Dobyn to a littl
+ boy who was carrying an easel o
c his shoulder and following a lady
T. Il think, sir, she's ketched the meG
e slcs."
= Lady caller: Il much prefer co
$ orcd servants to white ones, don
II you, Mrs. B?' Mrs. b: "Wel
really, Mrs. r., it depends upon til
color, you know. | can't endul
green ones
~ -
o The hello girl in a telephone e,
change ought to have a pretty GOO
II idea Of what the public ear has
d endure. Day in and day out she hi
r poured into her ear a mass of tai
1t that is well calculated to set an ord
nary mortal crazy. There is usual
"a 1. L.. L