The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1885-09-19

tC Asos w snhe ttac IoIu-Seq ueuCcs -
Boston Budget.
What the inebriate sees may very
often be described as circular saw
Yonker's Gazette.
The road to wealth Is crowded with
men who are turning back. White.
hall Times.
''Shc's not Of my set" said the old
hon, as she chased strange chicken
out # the yard.-St. Paul Herald.
The temperature of woman's lore
is materially lessened by poyery Us re.
frigerator. BARRIERS Gazette.
1t seems little singular that
mans face is the longest when he him.
self is III, shortest.
We often sympathizc with dog
when We think of the man th.t owns
it.-Fall River Advance.
A man may see through . glass
darkly, but tn, stone beer mug knocka
him out. New Orleans Picayunc.
A dog would rather hunt bis own
deus than to have a can Of insect pow
der thrown at HIM. Fall River Ad-
vance.
For every man killed in war ten
have been sent over the gulf by the
aid of the corkscrcw. cw.-Chicago Leger.
1t is not the man who thumps the
bar the hardest that has the most
money to pay for his drink. Brook
lyn Times.
This would be a better world il the
people in it who lvse their tenipers
would never iAd them again Brook
Ign Times.
There is more magic in one childs
innocent rrattle than there is in the
growl Of a regiment of pessiniists.
Lo. the poor Colorado Indian, ready
to fight the moment Uncle Sam gers
ready to Cheyenne thing at him
Phila. Times.
A scientific Journal tells how to
prevent hiccough. Another good way
is to refrain from going cut between
the acts. --Noir.stown Herald.
.An Enelishnan has discovered that
kissing. to be Scriptural, must re be-
tween those Of the same sex. 1t il ev-
ident that tho Bible needs TO be re-
vised just once more.-Loweli Citizen.
"Yes, indeed, Brown is very rick
man." When WAS he taken illl" Yes
terday morning was called t. attend
him." '.Ah, that accounts for il.
And now those two physicians pass
each other without speaking. Boston
Post.
A Chicago news item says that "the
American hog holds his own, and
pork packers look cheerful " When
lady enters car and sees man and
his feet and his grip sack occupying
four seats, she must conclude that the
American hog is holding more than
his own. .--Norristown Herald.
Jay Gould is physically not very
imposing. He reminds one of what
the sirl just returned from Boston
school said when she saw a steam fire
engine in operations: ''Who would
evah have dweamcd that such dimin.
utiyc looking concern would hold so
much watah. Texas Sif.ings.
"whrts your weight row. JohnT
inquired friend Of Mr.. Caution. III
you mean my wait on that box of ci
gars | won from you last election,
replied Mr.. Caution in that manner
which distinguishes, ''it has been
about eight months. ."--Pittsbury Tel
sgraph.
Policeman Addis. Of Philadelphia,
recently tried to arrest a rough who
fired on him. but the ball was stopped
by susrcnder button. This little
incident shows that policeman Adds
has noble wife, otherwise his sus-
pcnder would have bsen fastened ty
an Ole shingle nail or wooden tooth
pick.
''Mis.cr, have you any business
here2'
II haven't just now, but | expect to
have"
"How's that2
"Why, I'm the coroner Of the dis