The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1885-11-28
Select Sturg,
CIRCUMSTANCES.

sc. L. f. IN Chicago Tribune.
Does man make the circumstances, or
circumstances the man p says Bulwer.
Well, [ bet on circumstances every time.
In all my scrapes-and there are lots Of
them-I am never really to blame, but [
always appear to be. I'm a sort of toy of
destiny football of fortune. Other fell
lows do disgusting, outrageous things and
are never found orr; bat by Jove +! |
mean to engage a boy to go around with
me just to have him ready to testify to my
innoccnce when tae next storm breaks on
my devoted head. For am tired of this
scapegoat business Itwears on the nerves,
as the cashiers say when they start for
Canada
Just look at that awful ''third-story win
dow racket" l was led into by Tommy
Wiggins, which paralyzed all Philadelphia
and made it necessary for me to have a
change of air (several of my aunts took a
change of theirs at the same time), while
Tommy enjoys himself at home. Nobody
blames him. No relations cut him out Of
their wills. 0, no 1t was all that lawful
Teddy Bouncer's" fault Tommy is all
right, and [ am cooped up in dirty ar
chitect's office in New Jersey drawing CON-
houses, while he doubtless is RECALLING the
fellows with a distorted version of the
affair.
Now, merely to put myself straight, I'll
just tell you the facts as they truly occur
ed. Then l fancy you will agree with me
that circumstances do make the man.
It was a. m. We had left poker
party at Harry Coles, where we had just
royal old time. [ was dead broke-al-
ways am after these pleasant little enter
tainments-b very jolly, and Tommy
Virgins agreed to see me home. He was
very affable till he reached his door, when
he cody said he'd ask me in, only his moth
er wouldn't stand it. "For you are not
quite the thing" he added.
Not quite the thing? What was he, I'd
like to know?
90, that's all right for you, but where do
come in p [ inquired. "You know |
haven't cent and have lost my latchkey.
You don't mean to leave me like this ?"
"Cant help it," he replied with drunken
gravity, "mother's put her foot down"
"Well, suppose you lend me $2.75," !
suggested; 'that'll make it just an even $25
/ owe you, and I can get room some
where"
"Don't want to make it even $25,' he
muttered. "S2225 is bad enough" "
80, never mind, don't worry about me,
[ said, thinking to sting him with little
cold sarcasm. 'Don't fret | can 90 home
and climb in the third-story window"
eyes, I would, he retorted, utterly miss
ing the point "If you can't work that try
the coal-hole."
'Then voice, plaintive female voice
piped out, Tommy"
"Tommy and | fattened ourselves against
the house like one man, but in vain.
The voice resumed "You walk your
self in directly. / see you; you need not
try to hide"
"Yes,' giggled Tommy. "She sees m,
and calls Goo nigh, Teddy" And he
sneaked into the house, and left me-let
me, scion of the oldest family in Phila
delphia, to get myself home any way
could. Itwas beastly shame, for my Aun
ty Tabby says that at the time my grand
father was an honored guest in the White
House Tommy's father was tinker. Tht
fellow should have esteemed it an honor tt
assist me.
However, there | was with the best BLOOD
in America going round like mill-whee
in my head and making the street dance ;
jig l was not tight-no, indeed; loos
described my condition, particularly abou
the knees, As I fell easily and NATURAL.
from one superb pose plastique to anothe
on my way down the street l seemed to b
double or triple jointed-a regular India
, rubber man.
After an arduous struggle l reached m,
own door and sunk down on the steps t
think over the situation. "Now," said |
''the strongest point in my favor { am a
ways logical after poker parties is that
am the only lodger in this old barracks