Daily Republican., 1885-07-16
Sunbeams.

The wages of sin are usually about SOL
and costs Bloomington Eye.
Hardly anything easier than starting a
paper it will stop itself. - r0fke7s "a
tstts,
No traces Of the man who stole the bar
ness have been discovered. .--L~,lisDilic
Cni,3er Journ0I.
Travelling upon the railroad is pleasant,
at ines, possibly, but travelling on free
pass is more SO. Bloomington Eye.
A railroad engineer will pull up for COW,
but when he meets another train on thdl
same track he goes through it on principle.
-Con. Adv.
An exchange says It is dificut to cure s|
man Of draw-poker. But you may easily
break him of it when he is broke; it Won't
bother him for while, anyhow.
A Kentucky girl was recently struck by
lightning and killed while dressing for her
wedding -Bo1ems1n That was a God
send to the groom Toledo american.
A Yonlers belle, soon to be married,
started out recently to furnish her new
home. Her first purchases were a small
sofa and a oorn- pepper. Yonkers Gdzetts.
sc Happy is the father" exclaims the
BHta]0 Erpress, whose children are 80
young that he can delude them into the be-
.ief that the procession is all there is of the
circus"
The strongest man is rarely strong enough
30 hold his tongue at the right time.-Exl
No, it requires the Herculean strength of d
woman to accomplish this at.-E,eoateB
Rml'0ay Journal.
A Reno Indian begged pair of pants inn
which some hornets had built q nest, and
when the insects warmed to business the
Indian cut hole in the atmosphere that
hasn't entirely filed up yet. Com. ADJ.
Come down stairs and I'll make char.
mel house Of you exclaimed Texas man
20 an editor and the editor had him ar
rested. He didn't feel as though he would
ike to have Texas man crawl down his
throat and die. Com. Adg.
1t lis stated that experiments conducted
by Krupp at his great cannon factory have
solved the problem how to construct mis-.
sle. which, after piercing the object, shall
expand with disastrous effect. 1t is pre-
numed they use dried apples.
Don Carlos the would-be King of Spain
and his wife have parted. The cause Of the
disagreement is not given, but the neigh
bors say she used the royal sceptre to 5til
soap with, and set hen on fourteen ducb
eggs in his kingly crown. Texas Siftings
Partisan journalist writes % Monsieur
cannot myself the pleasure do to you figh
this afternoon. 1 have the gum-boil Of MI
father and the bunion of my grand uncle
will with great pleasure some other timt
you meet with the rapier have the honor
stc.-Cotn. Ady.
Let lis hang assassins. s.-1ne Sun. Anc
| imprison blackmailers. -Phi11 Times. Ano
hunt down oranks.-Cincinnat Gosette
And make it warm for lunatics. Detrot
Free Press. And expose liars. Cam
l 1r1dge Tribune. And bounce hoodlums.
frankfort Herald. And sit down on sprin.
poets. = Toledo american.
The court, austesely: prisoner how die
you have the audacity to break into th
mans house at midnight and rob him
Prisoner, piteously: "But, your honor
ast time was before you, you wanted tc
know how | could have the audacity to rol
a man on the highway at high noon Wher
do you want me to get in my work, any
WaJ -HT1H&J0rd HeTuta.
A letter mailed in 1853 was recently
found behind O shelf in country post t-of.
flee, and forwarded to its destination. II
was addressed to young lady, and con.
tanned marriage proposal. When the lady
read it, she looked pleased, and exclaimed :
Law mel didn't expect to hear from
John so soon But what wonderful thing
is the fast-mail service. ."-7Ne Jud.ge.
6 LIS it true that Mrs Pompom has false
teeth, that Deacon Lightfoots daughters
rouge and that the new family who have
just rented pew in the midle aisle are de-
cendants of the pirate, Kidd ?" asked q
spruce looking old lady, brilliant in bright
ribbons and jewelry, at social meeting of
the members of the church. Il don't know. /"
answered the weak-eyed seraph to whom
the inquiry was addressed ASK the min.
ister's wife. .'-StanIey Huntley.
man went into drug store and asked
for something to cure a headache. The
druggist held a bottle of hartshorn to his
nose, and he was nearly overpowered by it's
pungency. As soon as he recovered he be-
gan to rail at the druggist, and threatened
to punch his head. " But didn't it help
your headache?" asked the apothecary.
" Help my headache ~ gasped the man.
l haven't any headache. "It's my wife
that's got the headache. "-Ne,o York
Moii
young man who was playing billiards,
in San Antonio saloon, bet that he could
put billiard ball in his mouth. He made
the attempt and succeeded, but two sur
geons had to work on him with crowbars
and handsaws for an hour before the ball
could be extricated. The sufferings of
Pete Freer, who had to wait for the ball be-
fore he could finish the game he was play
ing with stranger for the beer were in
tense. As soon rs he got the ball he ran
right out. and the stranger had to "set em
op."-1erIs SJtings.
" Some men," says an eminent anatomist.
"have three hands-right hand, left hand
and little behind hand" We have often
observed men with more hands than this.
Some have right hand, left hand, little
behind hand, a little before hand, an upper
hand, an under hand, an empty hand. A
full hand flour aces), bold, bad hand and
hand with heart in it that promises to
stick by him until death do us part.
making grand total of ten. What q mag
niicent old curiosity this is, to be sure,
There's but one set of hands that can
beat it, they belong to the N j. bank
cashier. .-Bloomiagton Eye.