The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-07-15

ana IN his smiles and conversation sh,
Ieit the personal charm that had beer
so strong at first. For him il was tn,
DAY before the battle. and there wa.
something of the thrill of coming excite
ment. something. perhaps, in beins
once more In the presence of the Wo
man whose love he need not doubt ot
having Won. 1t would be hard anC
pltter hight, but she was worth it-or SC
Il seemed TO him as he watched her in
the pig armchair, which was associated
In hls memory with old Mr.. Lorraine
She wore the same white dress that she
had done the night of his arrival; It's
folds fell softly and gracefully abou;
her, and in her hand was the fan OF
peaeock's S feathers.
Are you really better?" she asked.
| suddenly, after long silence, in which
she had been watching him. Tell me
| the truth; you are not quite well'-a
/ faint question in the tones-~but you
are much better?"
Il am not quite we'll" he repeated
sitting more Upright. but 1 am much
better, and shall be better still when /
am back in Germany"
Yes she said, softly. 4 hope So"
He laid his hand ON the feather fan
| on her knee.
Your hopes and wishes will do me
| good" he said, never fear" And then.
! suddenly wish you would get an
| other fan" he went on. L cannot bear
. to see you carrying this one about with
you"
| and it has memories. 1t reminds me
| of many happy evenings. You told me
it was uniucky, you remember, the first
time / saw you"
And you" he replied, said you did
not fear the especial form of i1-luek it
might bring"
But do" she cried, passionately,
rising TO her feet Il am afraid of it
am afraid to run any risks" moving
swiftly away, and placingit on a distant
table: There" returning to his side,
Il will never touch it again"
what a foolish woman you are!" he
said gently, as she stood once more by
his side.
i cannot help it." she cried, and when
he looked at her he saw there were tears
in her eyes. L care too much to be
wise. | wish" she began abruptly,
and then turned away. and stood with
her back to him, leaning against the
mantelshelf.
What do you wish?" he questioned.
"Oh, wish l had seen her-that /
knew her-eyen what she is like"
and left the room, and few minutes
later came up to where she was still
standing by the fire, and placed in her
hands small case.
She took it over to a distant lamp, and
there opened it. And when she had
done so, a fair girls face looked frank
ly out toward her, bloe-eyed and red
Tipped, with ripping corn-colored hair.
For some seconds she remained gazing
Islvar-
every line of the glrliSh face, which was
not beautiful, but true and honest.
Then she closed the case, and came back
to his side.
Tell me-" she said, her voice sinking
to whisper, does she love you?"
There was no reply.
"Of course she does" her words COM
ing quickly, unsteadily. Then sinking
on her knees by him: 1T is at her ex-
pense that | am wishing to be made
happy. But you will go back, and it
will come right-between you and her.
l mean. You see it is not your happi-
ness | care for-it is just my own"
clasping her hands tightly about his
arm. Il do not want you to be happy
with her, | want you to come back to
me-"
Her voice faltered, and she laid her
head where her hands were clasped
about his arm. and burst into tears.
He spoke soothing words, and strok-
ed her soft hair caressingly, as if she
had been child, trying to calm the UNI
accustomed storm.
At length she lifted her miserable
eyes to his.
~Do not despise me-" she sighed.
Dear Esme," laying her cheek against
his hand, Il am only jealous, that is it."
with faint smile; Jealous. And there
is always something despicable about
jealousy. And | made such good resolu-
tions to-day-and in church too-that [
would not spoil your last evening with
my excitability and folly. meant to be
so calm and wise. And now"
Dear child" he said gently, dear
child" smoothing her ruffied brown hair
caressingly, do not be afraid. If live,
| will come back-or write?" he added,
interrogatiyely.
no, no" she replied softly, do not
write. Come back to me if you are
free, and if mother voice dying away
into sad indefiniteness-"oh shall un-
derstandl 1t will not be necessary even
TO write. But get WE'LL" she went on,
that is the first and most important
thing. When | next see you, let me find
you quite well"
Her voice was steady now. She had
brushed the tears away. Perhaps his
words had inspired her with faint
shadow of hope, perhaps some remem-
brance had come to her of the resolu-
tions she had formed whilst listening to
the bells ringing through the calm sum-
mer evening-resolution which in her
passionate. pain and suffering she had
broken-that she would spare him as
much as might be any share of the
trouble which had fallen on her; he had
quite enough to bear himself. and he
was i'll. And over and over again had
not the doctor said that all worry and
anxiety, and above everything all excite
ment was, if possible, to be avoided?
And she knew it. As she looked at him
now, and noted the little red flush on
his cheeks and the feyerish brightness
of his eyes, she knew that it was through
her fault, her foolish emotion, that he
was suffering afresh. What was the
good in crying out? She was hurt. per-
haps, but, as they We're circumstanced,
there was nothing he could do. only feel
as stab all her passionate words
Il WISH" she began at length-but she
did not move her cheek away from the
hand against which it rested-@I wish
sometimes one could choose the mo-
ment of ones death: / think / should
say now. Tomorrow / shall be so un-
happy. but now. at this moment-I have
forgotten that"
Forget it STILL" he answered; @and
believe me, if | can make the future
easy for you, will"
Putting it into words has broken the
charm she said. But you see for
yourself that my wisdom has come back.
Do not fear. am not going to make
you miserable any longer. / am going"
Tightening little her clasp upon the
hand she held, ~to say .Good-night'-for
Won rlronnisad Won would not stay I'M
late
1T is sGood-bye.'n he replied quickly
Il am going early tomorrow. No." as
she would have spoken. @it is better. far
better. You know. | wished to go days
ago. / think" his voice faltering lit
tie, Il would rather not say Goodbye
again"
L Will not again break my resolu-
tion." she said Il viii do whatever you
think best. am not very brave, but /
can be obedient."
She stood up as she spoke, and See. :.
she went on, Il am trying to act as /
speak am going at once. This is
Goodbye"
He was standing beside her on the
hearthrug, looking down into her troub-
led eyes, noting the slender hands clasp
ed above her beating heart, perhaps
recognizing the efforts she was making
| to be calm. for his own eyes grew sad
der as he watched her.
But his voice was quiet and steady,
as. placing his hands upon her shoul-
ders. sydney" he said. @try and trust
me. If / live | viii come back; If I do
not come back. will write. Do YOU un-
derstand?1
Yes It was a sigh. not word.
| Her eyes did not droop-they looked
steadily up into his The tear-drups
were all gone. There was faint refiec-
| ton of his ealmness and determination