The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1885-10-30
reach of all who have shilling in
their pockets to pay the fare.
A Mlstinkered Clock


A Mlstinkered Clock
have always clung afectiorately to
the theory that no poor man should
ever hire anybody else to do what he
himself can do about his premises.
am opposed to hiring tramps to eat up
the substance of hard-working indi-
vidual, like an editor, hence l never
allow one to saw wood for his break
fast at my place.
The other day tramp called at nv
house. He had kit of tinkering in
struments, and displayed burning
desire to heal TIE eccentricities of our
clock which never could be satisfied
unless it was from four minutes to
three days slow. I was at first dis
posed to let him give it two or three
experimental thinks, but when he in
formed me that his time was very val
liable and the wear and tear of his
brain very severe in the performance
of such offices of human benefaction,
concluded to do the job myself.
That afternoon l went down town
and paid 81 to a hardware man for the
necessary labor saving machinery. /
felt that So was not an extravaeant
pllCO " pay 1Ol d ScG VI GOOlS GQdL
would tinker me for the entire period
of human life, so l hurried home and
went for that clock.
My wife spread white paper on the
dining table for me, and it was not
long before I had the viscera Of that
clock scattered about me like the shat
tered remains of brass foundry after
cyclone had toyed with it, No won
der it was slow! Every clog and jour-
nal was clogged with dirt and stiffened
with oil. rubbed up the parts care
fully, and then my wife leaned loving
ly over my shoulder and remarked
that she could not comprehend how in
the world I would ever get all that
stuff into it again. replied that it
took high order of genius to do that,
and drawing myself up proudly, as
sured her that was fully equal to the
situation.
Then 1 began to put the clock to-
gether, and soon had it full, but there
were wheels and eccentrics and levers
enough to make another clock. felt
proud of my grand achievements. I
had often heard that ECONOMY is
wealth." and had saved enough of
that clock to pay for a new hair spring
in my watch. put Oh the hands and
wound up the rejuvenated timepiece,
and started it, 1t went off like the
gong at railway eating house, where
fellow stops twenty minutes to get
robbed. When was a little boy 60
ing to school my teacher, a tender
young soul of forty-two summers and
twice as many winters, used to write
''Time flies" in my copy book, but
never fully realized the scope and in
tent of the remark until that clock re-
sumed business at the old stand. Ire
allied in a moment that / had con-
quered the perverse disposition of that
clock to play along the road. 1t
seemed infused with renewed vigor and
was punctual to fault.
The hour-hand got around the dial
once each hour. while the minute-hand
got around sixty times in the same
second. On close inspection 1 dis
covered that had accomplished what
had never been done before. l had
turned time backward, and longed to
have the poet who sang: Backward,
turn backward, o time, in your flight"
present, that 1 might show him that
his wish was grati6ed. The hands
were going the wrong way, and my
wife smiled sweet, sad smile of hope
as she remarked that in about four
days we would be a boy and girl in
school again. was pleased for a mo-
ment at the thought, but as a faint
wonder what would become of our five
children III such an event stole upon
me, hope gave place to fear that it
would leave Il blemish upon our young
lives to return to the good old times,
and I jammed the screw driver into
the rapidly revolving wheels and put a
stop to their mad career. One of these
days am going to pull the nail out
and 90 back to the Garden of Eden and
see Eve feed Adam apples.-F. E. Hud-
die, IN Texas Siftsngs.