Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-28
BRIGHT BITS.

ROSCOE CoNKLING is a little mugwump
party who hocks all alone by himself-PhtEa-
delphid Press.
WHEN young lady goes to church to ex-
hlDlt her new sealskin. she certainly might be
called sack religious oakers Stdteentaql.
How Englishmen do mistake their own lam
guage! Here Is ArchdeacOn Farrar calling
Mr. George W. ChiIds the ideal American
gentleman" when what he means is the
"reaP one.-Nea1 York Herald.
THERE were q, 100000 buttons made in this
country last year. And when a man is wait
ing for his wife preparatory to her going out
with him, he imagines she's secured at least
D,O0O.OO0 OF them on her Gloves Yoakers
Statesman.
A CLINcHER: Charley Manhattan--'T
thought Shakespeare wrote Charles the
First" Miss Arlington-"But, you know,
Shakespeare died so many years before
Charles the First was born that" Mr.. c.
No yes; but Shakespeare is full of ana
chronlsms."-LJs.
Tom Ito Charley, smoking a cigarette
y ou'd better put that out; don't you see that
notice on the WALTZ
Charley-"ButP Pm lnhaling this" tejectipga
great cloud from his nostrIlsl.
Tom-"What difference does that make?"
Charley-"All the difference in the world
especially when they have the politeness to
stuck up: "Nose smoking allowed '-B0ston
Transcript.
AN MEMORABLE ATTORNEY
Beneath this marble slab, snug filed away,
lndorsed, ''the last debt paid" the tenth Of
Lies snaps dearest wife. Don't think the
tribute tame,
The highest Snap could pay to human fame,
For, had she lett a single debt unpaid
snaps fond attachment had pursued her
shade. --Ldao Reporter
WILLIE MULLETHEAp is very practical
youth, and apt to take practical views of
things Now. be good little boy, While"
said his mother to him one day, wishing to
impress npOn him the reward in store for the
Just, land when you die you WIN have gold
narp to play on" 81 don't know how to play
on gold harp" he grumbled "and don't
want nuthin' anyway what I've got to die to
git. Let Johnny be good to git the harp, and
gimme drum. "-Binghaaato Republican.
A TERRIBLE sAPPoINTMENT.-wi ITO
husbandl-"A boy at the door Just left this
note. lIs addressed TO you and marked
Present" husband" PRESENT. ] don't
know who could be sending me present.
DID the boy bring anything else?H Wife
texcited)-"NO. Perhaps the present is in the
note. Maybe it's a check" Husband (open-
ing the note}-'NO such luck as that. Read
lng) HIM. Please pay boy amount DUE
This amt ne present. Tell the boy l. m out"
-Harpers Bdsar.
HE was standing at the Union Club, corner
OF Firth avenue, toying with the five hairs
which constitute his right whisker. when
passing cabman hailed him with Hanson,
sir?" "Eh! Whatf' he demanded, starting
Hanson. sir. hansom?" repeated the Jarvey.
"Well, what of it," he said, angriy.
"Cawn't fellah show himself In this
blawsted town without having his aw-ap-
pearance commented onf" And be tripped
over to Genham to drown his Indignation in
a tankard o. bitter To- Dan.
A LITTLE 8-YEAR-oLD, the young hopeful Of
an ostimabe lady on Piety Hill, in Salem, is
just beginning to verge into the period of
childish investigation, doubt, and inquiry.
The little fellow had heard the words grass
WIDOW hREfpnRd IfS
of his mother By way of illustration she
told him that If his father should run away
and leave her alone without any cause then
ator lOosed up in his mothers face and said:
"Then whatd / bes Would be grasshop-
per?"-SGleo' lOre) Statesman.