Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-06-04
BILL NYE STUDIES STARS.
The Astronomical Observation of a
HumOrist.
He Rummages Around Among the
Heavens in Search OF Brand New
. Stars.

no perceotible growth or decay in the
star business since man began to roam
around through space, in his mind, and
make figures on the barn door with
red chalk, showing the celestial time
table.
No serious accidents have occurred
in the starry heavens since | began to
observe and study their habits. Not
star has waxed, not star has waned
to nv knowledge. Not planet has
season cracked or shown any of the in.
furious effects of our rigorous climate.
Not a star las ripened prematurely or
fallen off the trees. The varnish on
the very Oldest stars l find on close
and critical examination to be in
splendid condition. They will all no
doubt wear as long as we need them,
and wink on long after we have ceased
to wink back.
In 1865 there appeared suddenly in
the northern crown star of about the
third magnitude and worth at least
$3.50. 1t was generally conceded by
astronomers that this was a brand new
star that had never been used, but up
on consulting Argelander's star cata-
logue and price list it was found that
this was not new star at all, but an
old faded out star of the ninth magni-
tude, with the front breadths turned
wrong side out and trimmed with
moonlight along the seams.
After a few days of phenomenal
brightness it gently ceased to draw a
salary as a star of the third magnitude
and walked home with an "Uncle
Toms CABIN" company,
Then, again, you take certain style
of star, which you learn from Prof.
Simon Newcomb is at such distance
that it takes $4,000 years for its light
to reach Boston. Now we will sup
pose that after looking over the large
stock of new and secondhand stars
and after examining the spring cata'
logue and price list l decide that one
of the smaller size will do me and
buy it. How do I know that 1t was
there when I bought it? Its cold ano
silent rays may have ceased $4,000
years before 1 was born and the intel
ligence be still on the way. There il
too much margin between sale and de
livery. Every now and then another
astronomer comes to me and says
"Professor, have discovered another
new star and intend to file it. Found
it last night about mile and hall
south of the zenith running loose
Haven't heard of anybody who has
lost star of the fifteenth magnitude
about thirteen hands high, with ligh
name and tail, have you? Now, how
do | know that he has discovered s
brand new star? How can discover
whether he is or not PLAYING an old
thread bare star on me for new one
1t is surprising that every little
while l contemplate withdrawing
from scientific research to 60 and Skin
an eight-mule team down through the
dim vista of relentless years.
There is much i'll the great field Of
astronomy that is discourging to the
savant who hasn't the time nor mean!
to rummage around through the heav.
ems. At times I am almost hopeless
and feel like saying to the great yearn
full, hungry world "Grope on forerer
Do not ask for another scientific fact
Find it out your self. Hunt W
your own new-laid planets, and let mt
have a rest. Never ask me again tt
sit up all night and take care of new
born world while you lie in bed ant
reck not .
l get no salary for examining tn
tlackless void night after night whel
1 ought to be in bed. sacrifice m,
health in order that the public ma,
know, at once, of the presence of red
hot comet, fresh from the factory
and yet, what thanks do I get?-Bi'
Nae.