The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1885-07-15
LATE FOR DINNER.
A CONJCGAL DIALOGUE.

4 CONJUGAL DIALOGUE.
At the Macy mansion the dinner hour
is six o'clock, sharp. Mr.. Macy, who has
been absent since morning, comes home
seven minutes late.
Mrs. Macy (not giving him time to Of
fer an excuse)-'Well when you rang
thought certainly it was the DOCTOR"
Mr.. Macy (anxiously)-"The doctor?
Are you expecting him? What is the
matter2"
Shelf suppose it has never entered
your mind that a woman, though blessed
with a constitution of iron, might suffer
from having her meals at all hours of the
day and night. Neither would you call
it being sick, 1 suppose, for her to sit
and wait and worry, tormented by all
kinds of conjectures and fears; expect.
ing every moment to hear that her hus-
band has been crushed 10 death by a
cable car, or met with some other fright
full accident"
(Macy who sees the storm coming,
wisely remains SILENT
She-"Will you at least condescend to
answer the only question that shall ask
your
He-"Assurcdly, my dear
She-"Will you be good enough to
inform me if you intend to come hume at
this late hour every nightl"
He OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES my dear,
you are not going to scold because am
seven minutes late this once. l was de-
tanned by business; but do not ask what
it was, for I promised not to tell"
Shell have no doubt that you will
tie a whole week late one of these days,
and will end, perhaps, by being away
from your family for years"
He-"Pshaw, my dear! How alb
surdm
She-"Absurd, is it? Why, it was no
later than last night that you were tell
ing me about the sea. captain-La Pc
rouse I believe his lame was-who left
home one day, promising to return at
the usual time, and has never been seen
since by his unhappy family"
He-"But that happened ninety years
ago."
Shc-'So much the worse"
He-"Bcside, don't you remember
told you he was shipwrecked2"
She-"Oh, yes; it is easy enough to
say that q man was lost at sea, especial
ly when he is not here to contradict
you. But don't think, when you make
up your mind to leave nome forever,
that you will be able to deceive me by
some foolish story printed in the papers,
declaring, for instance, that you have
gone up in q balloon which has lever
come down again; oh, no, l shall not
believe that story any more than the
one you tell to-day"
He-"I am sue 1 do not know to
what story you refer, my dear
She-"Oh, indeed2 A man comes
home brimful of mystery, and when his
wife questions him, when she ventures
to ask him a question, he responds
guardediy that it is a secret. oh, I
am not at all curious. l have not the
slightest desire to know your wonderful
secret. Far be it from me to try to
find out what perhaps would be the last
thing l should want to know"
He-"Now, are you going to imagine
all sorts of foolish things, because l hap
pen to tell you that l have been occu-
pied with another mans business to-
days"
She--"A nice business it must be that a
man dare not tell his wife. You are the
greatest talker in the universe away from
home, but it is simply impossible to get a
word out of you when you are alone
with your wife"
He-"But, tell you, it is not my Sc.
cret."
she-"I suppose not. A very good
excuse, that"
He lirritated)-"Good heavens. How
exasperating a woman can be-"
Shea man never is-of course
not"
He-"Well, for the sake of peace and
quietness I'll tell you the whole story"
She with the air of martyrJ-"Nevcr
mind-I do not care to hear it-now."
He-Why, are you not willing to let
me explain?"
She-What is the use? You would
only invent something. You arc very
good at that sort of thing"
He-"Wlll you allow me to speak"
"She-I cannot prevent it, can II You
needn't be so 6erce."
He (about to confess)-':I'--
She-"But I warn you I shall not be-
lieve n single word you say"
"Hc-Then l may as we'll remain ST.
lent"
-"There-whatd did
I tell you2 knew very well that you
wouldn't have anything to say if driven
to the wall. All. I understand YOU"
He-"-- ~!
She-"Oh. certainly-swear; that's
just like a a It will give you more
time to invent a plausible story, too"
He Gin a rage)-"Do you intend to let
me get q word in edgewaysW
She "Oh, 60 on, 60 oE-your hum
BILE servant is all attention"
Ha-"Well, then, a friend of mine
who is on the verge of bankruptcy
came to rue this morning and begged me
to give him solne assistance, and l have
been running about all day trying to help
him out, and even at last offered myself
as his security"
Shells that ALL"
He-"Yes, that is ALL"
She (sighing)-"Well, 1 am thankful
that I paid the baker yesterday; we shall
at least have bread one more month
and I shall begin this very night to let
the children 60 barefoot, for that is what
the future has in store for the poor
things, with their father s~quandering his
fortune upon every s~callawag he meets"
He-Scallawag, indeed! Be q little
careful what you call a man till you
know who he is"
She (scornfully)-''Oh! I can guess
fast enough; it is that fool of a Farms
worth"
Helm the first place, madam, Farms
worth is not a fool, but a very in,elli-
gent man; and in the next place, it is
not Farnsworth az ALL"
She (angrily)-'And for such a mis-
cradle creature as Farnsworth do l see
myself and children reduced to beggary?"
He lmore angrily-"And, ! repeat,
that it wal not Farnsworth."
She-"Wcll, then, it was some other
good.for nothing fellow, whose name
you dare not tell"
He-'Do not call names, madam; YOU
rv;II oaop roorof - 20 va, a.