davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
JOB PRINTING
DONE AT TIE
E.xDxPx*D1wr
SEEAN
x01 3oo.Ks.
NO. So QUEEN 8T,
Opposite B. 4 o Expressly


Every description of Plain and Col
ored Printing, done in the very BEST
STYLE of workmanship, and at prices
that defy competition, when weight
of paper and character of work is Ia
ken into consideration.
We make speciality of all kinds Of
FANCY and CoLoRED PRINTING. We have
a chromatic press, which prints from
one to six colors at one impression
the only press of the kind in this
end of the State
We have all the facilities of steam
power, fast presses, large fonts Of
new types, borders, ETC., experienced
workmen, and with large stocks of
paper, bought from the manufacturers
always on hand, we can and do defy
all competition in JOB PRINTING, both
as to the manner of execution and
price. Call and get samples, and
when you ask for prices, name
weight and quality of paper that you
wish.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05

cords OF wood, or hoe seven acres OF
ground. The employment it directly
or indirectly gives to the trades and
professions must not, however, be
overlooked for, as nine out Of ten
baseball players get 5ioken moses.
sustain severe internal injuries, or
lose their teeth, the surgical and den-
tai professions would regretfully
look upon it's line.-Richmond
Baton.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
THERE Is NOTHING BETTER.
CAMDEN. n. ~ Januarv ) 1857

OAHDENt N q, JHDHaTy 2, 1850.
DEAR SIR: / took u heavy cold Just be-
fore Christmas, the cough being 80 inces-
SAINT at night that could hardly lay down
and have rest. DU Laos SWISS BALsAM
was recommended to me. ! used some
according to directions, and il relieved me
almost instantly, so much so, at least, that
rested well the following night. cheer
fully recommend your Balsam to all that
are afflicted with colds or coughs, as few
doses Will loosen the phlegm and give re-
lief also used your Balsam for croup on
my little one, three and a-half wears old,
three doses, Of twenty drops each, made
him yomit and eased his condition.
Yours truly, ISAAC SELIGMAN,
III Market Street, Camden, N. j.
Sold by A. NJ. GILBERT, Martinsburg,
w. Va.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
One Cow.

Every family in the land should
have at least one mich COW. A COW
will pay on three acre farm, will pay
anywhere in fact where roots, clover,
or grass enough for her can be grown
on the promises A COW in good
health and condition, kept with care
and cleanliness, kindly treated and
petted, is family store house, sup
plying food of best quality and most
acceptable form. One COW, even an
ordinary native that could be pur-
chased for twenty or twenty-five dol
lars, handled with care and kin iness,
and fed as common sense would die
tate, will yield on an average the
year through from one and q half to
two gallons of milk day, Even
were the yield but gallon a day it
would pay for all the care and keep
and be great boon to the family.
At only ten cents gallon for the
milk, that would be thirty-six dollars
and fifty cents year. We have paid
ten cents quart for milk. Two
such cows would supply all the milk
and butter the largest family would
care to consume, and two such COWS
would be worth fifty dollars year in
the family expenses, would save that
amount, if need be, in other provis
ions, as bacon, lard, and -four. Milk
and common bread is good enough
for king, and it is just perfect
food for children, furnishing every
needed element of nutriment.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
Pungent Paragraphs:


III the lottery Of life the dentist is
nlncky fellow; he's always drawing
something.
The coachman's occupation is
more agreeable than thatofthe host
Ter, but the latter is more stable.
The king Of Italy spends most Of
his time hunting mushrooms, and
then he doesn't 1are to eat them, for
fear that they are toadstools.
A silk blanket for q respectable
New York poodle costs $40. What
a pity it is that the owner Of 4 poo
die cannot go to store and buy
some brains.
Baseball is older than we thought,
as squint at history has made APP
parent. The Emperor Domitian oc-
cupies his leisure in catching flies.
~Oh, ma, don't you think Mr.
Slimkins has most excellent timbre
of voice?" Climber? Is that it?
| wondered what gave it that ort o
wooden-likc sound"
An old goat in Mississippi recent
iy ate 200 green cucumbers, then
broke into q drag store, butted the
top off bottle Of castor oil and
swallowed the contents.
The man in the moon always
smiles, and he ought to. He is the
only fellow who can stay out all
night without exciting anything but
favorable comment.
Did you ever notice that for about
ten minutes after man has had his
boots BACKED he always inspects
with care the boots Of everybody he
meets, that he may rejoice in his SUI
periority to the unblacked.
Sutherland Edwards has publish
ed novel called What is Girl to
Do?' This is very hard to answer.
II depends largely upon whether the
young man has means Of his own or
intends to live upon her fathers
money.
A fashion item says: None but
young ladies and brides should wear
hats" All the same we shall con-
tinue to wear them. A sensible man
would rather 60 bare headed than
to wear one Of this seasons ridicu-
lous-looking bonnets.
Oh, the pumpkin pie is the pie for me,
Its beauty greatly admire;
lis pie that belongs to the Gland Of the
free,' s
1t is good for the child and its sire.
oh. the pumpkin pie is the freeman's pie,
And in it We'll Put our trust;
No humbug, like mnce, can in it lie,
And IL beareth no upper crust"
If pumpkin pies but grew on trees,
And on the branches would sway,
They would fill the air with a perfumed
breeze,
And I'd shake the trees overy day.
Chicago Sun.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05

A lady who bought a watch dog
for protection was dismayed to find
that he possessed so sociable a
gentle that strangers were welcomed
rather than urged to retire. One
day veritable tramp appeared. To
prevent the dog from exhibiting his
usual affectionate manners, the lady
chained him securely, when the fol-
lowing conversation took place !:
Said the tramp: "That's very fierce
dorg" "Very," said the lady look
ing anxiously at the good-natured
brute. 'It makes them fiercer to
chain them" volunteered the tramp.
"Shall / unchain him ?" The tramp
turned a shade paler and began to
retire quickly. ooh, no; not to-
day. That's very fierce animal.
| guess not to-day" And as the
lady made a movement to unchain
the dog the tramp retreated precip-
itately.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
Great Discovery.

Mr.. VIM. Thomas, of Newton, Ia, says:
Wv wife has been seriously affected with a
cough for twenty-five years, and this spring
more severely than ever before. She had used
many remedies without relief, and being
urged to try DR.. King New Discovery, did
so, with most gratifying results. The first
bottle relieved her very much, and the sec
ond bottle has absolutely cured her She has
not had so good health for thirty years"
Trial Bottles Free at K G.. Williams h
Bros Drug Store. Large size 81 90.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
Thousands Say So.

Mr.. T. w. Atkins Girard Kan, writes
81 never hesitate 10 recommend your Electric
Bitfers to my customersthsy give eD tire sat-
isfacuon and are rapid sellers Electric
Bitlers are the purest and best medicine
known and viii positively cure Kidney and
Liver complaints. Purify the blood and reg
u'ate the bowels No family can afford to be
without them. They will save hundreds of
dollars in doctors bills every year. Sold at
City cents bottle by e. G Williams L Bro
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
Nervous Debilitated Men.

You are allowed free trial Of Nirfy days
of the use of DR.. Dyes Celebrated Voitaic
Belt with Electric Suspensory Appliances,
for the speedy relief and permanent cure OF
Nervous Debility, loss of Vitality and Man
hood, and all kindred troubles. Also, Tor
many other diseases. Complete restoration
to health, vigor and manhood guarant eed
No risk is incurred. Illustrated pamphlet,
with full information, terms, etc, mailed
free ny addressing yoltaic Belt Co., Marshall,
Mich. d27-ly
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05

Little Tommy was having his hair
combed and grumbled. "Why,
Tommy, you oughtn't to make such
fuss. | don't when my hair is
combed." mo. you hair ain 'thiteh-
ed to your head"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05

Overset from the German-Carl:
"Mother in the milk bucket dead
mouse was" Mother: "Well hast
thou it thereout taken ~ Carl: "No;
| have the cat therein thrown,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
Baby Saved.

We are so thankful to say that our nurs-
ing baby was permanently cured of dan
gerous and protracted constipation and ir-
regularity of the bowels by the use of Hop
Bitters by its mother, which at the same
time restored her to perfect health and
strength.
The Parents, Rochester, n Y.
@r None genuine without bunch of
green Hops on the white label. Shun all
the vile, poisonous stuff with "Hop' or
"Hops" in their name.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05

"a lie grows as it travels'' says
an old adage. Exception should be
made in the case of the fisherman's
lie, which is usually SO heavy that it
cannot travel.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
BARGAINS
BANKRUPT GOODS
BOOTS, SHOES. HATS And CAPS.
GETTINGER & HOKE.

Having bought AN en- ire stock of bank
rupt goods in
Boots and Shoes
Hats, Caps, Umbrellas. &c, at great sacri-
flee, from Col H. K Douglas, Trustee Hag-
erstowa, Md are now ready 20 give bar
gains such rs never have been offered here
These are good goods and must be sold at
ohce to make room for our regular
SPRING STOCK.
In the stock is a new line of BURT'S Cele-
brated Spring and Summer Shoes for g snts
regular prices $4 so to S. will be run of at
80 so to 81 per pair
Four or Eve dozen E G BURT'S elegant
goods for Ladies in Kid, Straight Goat, Kid
Foxed and Lasting Button, chiefly on neat
widths Regular prices, 81 so to SIS 5O,win
be closed out at So to S..
With large variety that can't be enum-
Grated
All these goods will be sold at great bar.
gains for cash. Call early at
BOOT, SHOE& HAT HEADQU ARTERS,
ais Q zen ST., Blended Building.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
Just A. Wen.

What time does the traingo ~
he lazily inquired as heslouehed in
to the railway station.
What train do you mean ~ asked
an officer in reply. Is. !. 4 go. 81 e .'..
well, femme see Gimme me
time to sit down and look up my
documents. y RI '. ss
He sat down and overloaded his
pockets, and at the end of quarter
of an hour he approached the officer
with -
II want to go to Flint
FLINT! The train left five min
utes ago. was the reply.
"Gone right out, has it 7"
eyes, SIR"
And I'm left 2"
"You are"
"Well, perhaps it's better. / pre-
sumo | should have fallen asleep and
been carried fifty miles or SO too far.
| will try to be on hand the next
time, but you needn't ask them to
wait for me il amt here. / may
take notion to walk"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05

]. F. BOYD, Superintendent
w. N. GARD, Agent. e-..s
Fastline runs only between Hagerstown
and Harrisburg on Sunday.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05

ST. BLooMINGvILLE, o., May /, '79.
SIRs-I have been suffering ten years, and
| tried 20 Hop Bitters and it done me
more good than all the doctors.
Miss g s. Ronnn
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
S3.OOOLosf.

"A tour TO Europe. that cost me $4,000,
done ''ms less good than one bottle of Hop
Bitters; "they also cured my wife of fifteen
years nervous weakness, sleeplessness and
dyspepsia" r. NJ. AuBURs N. Y.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
WOman's Suffering and Re-
lief.

Those languid, tiresome sensations, caus-
ing you to feel scarcely able to be on your
feet that constant drain that is taking from
your system all its former elasticity driy-
ng the bloom from your cheeks that con-
tinual strain upon your vital forces, render
ing you irritable and fretful, can easily be
removed by the use of that marvellous re.
NEEDY. Hop Btters. Irregularities and OBJ
structions Of your system, are relieved at
once while the special causes of periodical
pain are permanently removed None re-
ceive SO much benefit, and none are 90 pro-
foundly grateful, and show such an inter-
est in recommending Hop Bitters as women.
A Postal Card Story.
was affected with kidney and urinary
Trouble
"For twelve years II
After trying all the doctors and patent
medicines could hear of, used two bot.
ties of Hop
"Bitters !"
And am perfectly cured. kept
"A'l the time p respectfully, B. F.
Booth, Salisbury, Tenn.--May 4, 1883.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05

BRADFORD, Pa, May q, 1875.
1t has cured me of several diseases, such
as nervousness, sickness at the stomach,
monthly troubles, etc. have not seen
sick day in year, since took Hop Bitters.
All my neighbors use them.
Mpa EANnlu Cpupu
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-12-05
. PEC C S .

Sold by Druggists, or sent postpaid on re-
ceipt Of price;-D Humphreys, Book on Dis.
ease, richly bound IN Cloth and, Gold, mailed
Co., 100 Fulton ST., New York.
apl6
The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-21
A Baby at the Masthead.

Not long ago an English lady took
passage on vessel bound from Kings
ton, Jamaica to Lonlon. A large,
strong aud active monkey on board
the vessel took a fancy to the lady's
child, babe about two months old.
The monkey would follow the lady
from place to place. watching her as
she rocked and fondled her little one.
It so happened on beautiful after
noon during the voyage that a distant
sail attracted the attention of the pas
sengers The polite captain offered
the lady the use of his glass. She
placed her child on the sofa and had
just raised the glass 10 her eye, when a
cry was heard. Turning quickly she
beheld sailor in pursuit of the mon
key, which had grasped the infant
firmly with one arm and was nimbly
climbing the shrouds. The mother
tainted as the monkey reached the top
of the mainmasl. The captain was at
his wits end. He feared that if he sent
sailor in pursuit the monkey would
drop the babe, and escape by leaping
from mast to mast Meanwhile the
monkey was seen to be soothing and
fondling the child. After trying in
many ways to lure the animal down.
the captain ordered the men below, and
concealed himself on deck. In a mo-
ment, TO his great joy, he saw the mon
key carefully descending. Reaching
the deck, it looked cautiously around,
advanced 10 the sofa, and placed the
child upon it. The captain restored
the child to its mother. who was soon
satisfied that her darling had escaped
without injury.
The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-21
Abuse OF Rich Men.

1t is about time that justice was done
in fiction to our rich men. They have
Jared rather badly in our literature
until the advent of the new school who
would have us believe that only the
weak and mean things in common life
arc fit to be noted as foils for the calm,
sweet life that floats above it--in the
mystic realm where millions are no
more than pennies to the poor. There
has been strange propensity on the
part OF tine American novelist hereto
fore to almost make war on the very
richest rich of our land He has de-
lighted in tracing them back to the
dnnghill. in showing by what arts they
rose, and noting the effect of these
things upon the tinsel lives of upper
tendon. That day is gone, and we are
evidently nearing the millennium when
the only people worth knowing viii be
those whose fortune are writ in six
figures. We are glad to see it, 1t is
time they had their innings. They
cannot be 100 good, though they may
be too many, and it is perhaps time
that this age of mammon loves should
begin 10 shape and,fashion their gold
en- calves. = The Continent
The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-21
Garield's Ambidexterity.

A gentleman who knew Garfield well
tells a. story which has never before
been published of that remarkable
man. "We were sitting" said this
gentleman, 'in the office of the Secre-
tary of the Navy, Mr.. Thompson, of
Indiana, waiting to be heard on some
matter of routine business, when Gar
field took his seat at a vacant desk near
and commenced writing with both
hands upon scratch-pads on either side
of him. He seemed to write with one
hand as freely as with the other. Both
hands in fact appeared to move auto
matically. The only difference was
that the lines on the tablet written with
the left hand we're reversed from the
usual order. The consequence was
that the writing on the left-hand tablet
could not be read except by an expert,
or by holding it up to light or mir
ror. | looked at the one written with
the left hand on its upper side, and
while the lines seemed remarkably un-
form they conveyed no meaning, but
holding the paper up at the light saw
not only that the words written were
the same as those ON the tablet written
with the right hand, but that every pc
culiarity in the formation OF letter
which was found on the right hand
tablet was exactly reproduced on the
left hand. The achievement was
marvel to me, as / had never heard of
it before, although | have since heard
that manv people do it. Garfield said
that he often wrote that way whenever
he wished to preserve an exact copy OF
what he was writing without having a
copy made by letter-press, and that in
this manner he saved a great deal OF
time without any more appreciable fa-
tieue. asked him how he got into
that habit. He said that while teach
ing school once he had occasion to use
his right hand to point out something,
and that unconseiously he kept on writ
ing upon the blackboard with his left.
Upon turning to the blackboard to look
at what he had written he observed
that the writing was reversed, but that
he had full use of his left hand for
writing, and from that time he made
use of both hands. He was, in fact,
completely asnbidextrous. - Washing
ton Letter to Boston JcWraGt.l
The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-21
Women as Journalists.

Joe HoWard's letter in the Boston
Herald says: ] was sitting less than
an hour ago in The office Of a powerful
Journalist. A lady's card was brought
to him, and few minutes after, when
his secretary reported that the lady
was seeking work, he sent word to
dismiss her. Then turning to me he
said: II have concluded to give no
more work to women. Thet are utter
Iy useless as writers on daily journal;
you can never depend on them; they
are capricious, whimmy, unreasonable,
and unreliable" ! expressed some
surprise that he should deem them I'M
reliable, but he said that his experience
taught him that women's intuitions are
very quick, and that they interfered
seriously with the preparation OF re-
ports or sketches which would be
acceptable to a newspaper whose con-
ductors wanted news and not cpin ons.
In my own experience / have found
many difficulties in the Way of utilizing
women, and, on the other hand. some
of the best work | hsve had done was
by women. Some years ago, while
editing a daily paper here, ! had oeca-
sion to treat extensively of labor mat
ters, to look into trade unions, and dis
cuss the problem of strikes. ] tried
several professional agitators, but in
every instance found their prejudiees
interfered with the honesty OF their
work. Accident brought in my way
lady by the name OF Sheppard, and
after one or two trials | turned the
whole matter over to her. She attend
ed to it so thoroughly, and mastered it
so absolutely, and treated it SO sensibly
as to more than satisfy me not only,
but to attract the attention Of the senior
Bennett, who asked me if / had any OBJ
lection to giving him the name Of the
writer of those articles.
The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-21
In His wires Pocket.


4 fire broke out in d dwelling house
the other night. and after the man and
his wife had safely reached the street
the latter said that there was $50 in
the pocket Of her dress. which was
hanging in a second-story back room.
"pn 90 for it. said the husband,
and he plunged into the burning blild-
ing.
The flames ragged furiously. and tbs
man did not return. At the expiration
of an hour the fire was extinguished
and the back building caFed. Firemen
CROPPED their way up the rear stairs
through water and binding smoke,
and found the man in tbs closet still
fumbling at his wife's dress, looking
for the money.
He was nearly suffoeated with smoke
but had strength enough to say that he
thought he woald have found the pock-
ct inside of Two hours. 1t never occur
red to him to seize the dress and rush
out with that. Some men get so cx-
cited anil nervous il time Of fire. = Nor
Ytst0gn Herald