Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-06-04
he to himself; Il could not marry them

spartan resolve. The surgeon should
not spare the knife.
Still, it seemed to him, there had
never before been quite so many women
and so few men. Young women, mid
dle-aged women, and widows galore.
His eyes rested with positive relief up
on several nice old ladies occupying
prominent seats in front.
"At any rate" he thought, "the law
forbids o man to marry his grand
mother"
Then the cold sweat burst from every
pore as he recalled the Baroness Bur
dette Coutts.
"My hearers" said he, quite distinct
ly and positively, without the formality
of announcing text; my bride is and
ever shall be the church."
Perhaps. of all the Rev. Narcissus'
listeners, upon whom the thunderbolt
fell heaviest, was Miss Matilda Ann
Hildebrand.
She was a lackadaisical old young
lady, with great reserve of selfshness
and obstinacy, SO. we'll concealed by a
yeneering of gushing amiablity and art
less sweetness that few had ever pene-
trated below the surface. In her own
opinion she was nothing if not asthetic
and deeply pious, but she was also
lonely, and yearned for congenial
spirit. She had lofty indifference to
the appearance of the heshly habitation
of the wished-for spirit, which may ac-
count for her insensibility to the Rev.
Narcissus' lack of personal attractions.
For that gentleman was not beautiful
to behold, by any means.
His bullet-head was set very straight
by long, slim neck ON his square lit
tie shoulders; his pale, unsympathetic
| eyes were ornamented with O decided
squint; his mouth was a crease in his
face, simply that and nothing more.
ed. The Rev. Narcissus never deigned
to smile. But in his jaw-bone was the
true inwardness of the man displayed
large, square, saturnine. Had Sam
son possessed such weapon in lieu of
the one mentioned by Scripture, before
the gates of GAIA, it would have been
no miracle had the Philistines fallen by
tens of thousands.
Matilda Ann was virtuously con-
scious of possessing all the requisites
for minister's wife.
| Had she not been reared, so to say,
in the very odor of sanctity? Was not
her lamp, like the wise virgins, always
trimmed and burning, and, moreover,
set up in O conspicuous place for every
one to admire? She vowed vow to
| heraelf on the spot. The parson,
pausing as he left to instruct his hear
ers to say "Aw-men, not a-a-men, cor
Iection 1 make in fa-a-therly love" and
accidently meeting her eve, was so flus-
looking the three steps which led from
the door, he fell forward, and in an
other moment his pedal extremities
were where his head ought to have
been-.high in the air.
| The fair Matilda was born general.
She now surveyed the situation and
marshaled her forces to victory or
death. The Rev. Narc;ssus felt no
fear in her artless presence. True, she
was gracious and fair to look upon, but
she had confded to him, early in their
acquaintance, her intention of with
drawing from the allurements of the
world, the flesh, and the devil, and re-
tiring into sisterhood. Consequently
he bestowed much of his valuable time
upon her, somewhat to the neglect of
his parisihoners in general.
Her astute parents looked on approv-
ingly at the finesse displayed by their
guileless daughter, and in quiet way
did not disdain to lend helping hand.
Great was the Silent Indignation of
tlaA th.;nA- ila,,A4 s4a,,1 and- ten -fAnnalas
of the congregation, who each thought
herself q fitting mate for the Rev. Mar
cissus. What, had they gone to the
trouble of getting rid of Mr.. Bonn
spuer, only TO provide that stuckup
Matilda Ann Hildebrand with beau ?
For the sagacious feminines did not
credit Miss Hildebrand's intention. OF
joining the sisterhood.
Redoubled were the efforts put forth
to induce this most fascinating of par
sons to forego the vow he had made
and while each one strove for herself,
all made common cause against Matilda
Ann.
The parsons self-esteem fourished in
this favorable atmosphere like Jonahs
gourd, until among the disaffected few
the wonder grew, that one small head
could carry all (he thought he knew.
He confided to his always sympa-
thetic friend, Matilda Ann, that the
only argument which he could "consci-
entiously urge in favor of matrimony
was, that an unmarried minister, es-
pecially il he had taking way with
him, could not devote himself as he
should to the welfare of the souls oil
the unmarried females of his congrega-
ton without exciting false hopes and
innocently inhicting pain upon suscep-
tible hearts,"
Miss Hildebrand not only agreed
with him, but also volunteered the ad
: vice that, since he had been created
such masterpiece, it was his bounder
duty to place an impossible barrier be
tween himself and the numerous as
pirants for his affection.
Either follow my example, which ]
shall shortly set" ghed she plaintive
ly, "and retire from the cold world, ol
marry in self.defense. It would bC
,, grandly unselfsh," she continued, mus
I ingly, "for one so retrospective, so in
Prospective, so"-here she foundereC
; q little but brought up triumphantly
$50 irrespective as yourself, to sacri
: fee your lofty ideals, and instead o
: cherisbing all humanity, cherish on,
loved woman. But, OH" here sh'
! sighed deeply and turned away, "tha
! superlatiyely favored womanl"
The parson pondered this advice ant
decided to accept it. Why striv,
n against fate? A man of his attraction
/ and parts must marry to escape perse
a cution. He had been conscious latel,
h of qualms of regret that Matilda Ann
n | o,N,o~oo,ot, oxuoainaco on1 ortIoa