Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-09-23

delivered in the open air, and q collec-
ton will be made at the door to defray
expenses.
A Western newspaper uses tho fol-
lowing curious expression, seemingly
IN good faith, in the course of bit of
fine writing: ave bid him cometh
and he comes, and we bid him goeth
and he goes"
"Do you think your father is going
to move out soonP" inquired the owner
of q rented house of the son of his ten
ant think So" was the reply; 1--WE
have begun using the window-frames
for iirewood.'
The male Goldfish always takes care
of the eggs and young. Tho only peace
in life which the male Goldfish enjoys
is when he gets sailed down and stored
away in a country grocery. BnrItng-
ton (N.) Free Press.
"Do you know that there is great
difference between the country owl and
the Boston owlP" No" "Wcll,
there is; the uncultured bird, you
know, says 'Tu whit tn who,' but the
cultured one says, Tu whit tn whom. "
Boston Budget.
Junior Partner-"Our travelling man
ought to be punished. He told ono of
our customers in Albany that l am an
ignorant fool" Senior Partner-"l
shall speak to him without fail and in
sist that no more Office secrets DO di-
vulged. "-BOSton Beacon
No, Aramintha, you mistake; it is q
carboy which contains vitriol; n cow
boy is q very different kind of vessel,
though, to be sure, it is frequently fill
ed with something very like vitriol.
After all, it is not to be wondered at
that you COMPOUNDED the two. boston
Transcript
Extremes meetings Tho Major, TO
nephew who wants taking down Il bit,
he What! you here, Percy!
Amt you rather young to be going to
balls?h Percy-"What, and you here,
too, Uncle! Why, should have
thought you'd given up this sort Of
lhlnS lonS aSo' "''"'
Historical Note. -Plutarch says that
Demosthcnes made q gloomy tizzlo Of
his first speech. This did not dis
courage him; he finally became tho
smoothest orator in that country, and
it was no uncommon thing for him to
fill the First Baptist Church of Athens
full.-BM Nye, IN Boston GLOBE.
A minister forgot to take his sermon
with him to church, and his wife dis
covering the mistake sent it TO him in
charge OF snail boy, who was to re-
ceive ten cents for the job. rrosontly
he returned for the money. You de-
liyered the sermon, did your" she ask
ed. 81 jcs' guy 1t to him; he's a de-
liyerin' OF it himself. "-Reltoto"a "'-
,.tts.
A new and popular game among
Philadelphia bellies is blows" Two
young ladies walk down street togcth-
or, and the one to whom the most hats
are raised is the winner, and tho other
pays for the ice-cream or soda-water.
When hat is raised to both it is called
scratch" and counts neither. How
much the raising of hat may mean!-
Lo,ceH Courier.
What kind of q doctor am DR..
Black?" asked Uncle Moses of an old
Austin darky. zone oh de best | cher
heard tell oh. Oar was q man down
sick, and all dc udder doctors in town
said he could not lib twenty-four hours.
So DR.. Black jes' tuck him in charge,
and de man libbed, sab. Instead OBJ
dying in twenty-four hours he lbbed
thirty-six, sab. "-Ieras Sytings.
Suppose" said an examiner to
student in engineering, "you had built
an engine yourself, performed every
part of the work without assistance,
and knew that it was in complete Or
der, but, when put on the road, the
pump would not draw water. What
would YOU do?" II should look into
the tank and ascertain il there was
any water to draw" said the student.
Father, please tell me what entails
mean, and if we have such law in the
United States" Father-"Under the
law of entails, my boy, tho landed
property OF the father is handed down
to the eldest son, successfully, genera
ton after generation. We have no
such provision in the United States.
Here the money generally goes to the
lawyers who settle the fathers estate.
You see the ditlerence?"
A good Deacon Of one OF our city
churches meandered along one Of the
docks yesterday, and, noticing a crowd
of boys fishing, he commenced to re-
prove them for breaking the Sabbath.
In the middle of his harangue he stop
ped suddenly to calculate, "Look out,
bub, you've got bite" to small boy
whose attention had been distracted
from his line. Human nature was too
strong for him. --Saginao (Mich.)
NewS.
You can buy an eighty-ton gun,
steel tube, with wrought-iron coils,
best English make. for $4,000. This
is great deal of money to pay for one
gun, but any farmer with running wa
ter, plenty Of fruit, pleasant hills, and
forty acres of forest on his farm and
nine or ten families of relatives in New
York and Philadelphia will find the
outlay not only justiiiable expense,
but really one of the most profitable
investments he ever made.--Brooklyn
Eagle.
MI 'nivcrly is the wife of the Cap
tain New York militia company.
She nded review not long since
at WI her husband was the COM
mana. officer. Mrs. Snively laughed
all the say home, and when, after she
got home, she was asked what was the
cause of her merrimcnt, she replied:
at was the funniest thing in the world
to see my husband, who never dares
open his mouth at home, ordering all
those men about, and they doing just
what he told them to do"
Little Ernest, small boy recently
emancpated from kits, walked into
the nursery one morning, and was quito
disguised upon finding that it had not
been put in order for the day-one of
the rules of the house being that no
playthings should BIO brought out until
the sweeping was done, He left the
room for short time, and, finding
matters no better on his return, ex-.
claimed impatiently: well, hasn't
this room been sweeped YETI" "Why,