The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-01-11
her death, but it is believed to have been quito.
sudden. Mr.. Dslzen will reach here this morn
ODDS N ENDS.
ing.

-
1t is to be hoped that fine collection of plesio-
saurians known as the State Board Of Agricult-
ure, will not continue their oppression of Gov
ernor Porter for his failure TO appoint one Of
their mouldy members commissioner TO the New
Orleans exposition.
Governor Gray said one Democrat 70 an,
other, twill appoint his son Pierre his private
secretary THAT will be nice, said Democrat
No. 2 Its a pity there isn't an appropriation
for a second clerk in the office. That would
make such a good place for another of his boys"
said the first Democrat. Lucky our Governor
is a Democrat though. If he wasn't, somebody
would howl nepot;sm. Somehow, Governor
Porter's four sons all found employment outside
of pas Office"
DR.. Charles E. Wright isn't above telling a
story on himself. He tells this one: Last sum-
mer he took a trip down the ST. Lawrence.
When he came back a popular undertaken met
him and, shaking him by the hand, said: 'Tm
glad to see you, Doctor. You've been gone some
time" The Doctor assented: "Yes; about six
weeks" Then giving him a warm pressure of
the hand, the funeral director added: We've
missed you SO much!'
Apropos of the above story, the following, told
by DR.. E. F. Hodges, at his own expense, may be
repeated. DR.. Hodges had just started out in
the practice Of his profession in Boston. In the
course of time one of his patients died, and it be-
came his duty to fll out a death certificate to file
with the Board of Health. The certificate is
furnished in blank by the board, and
SIS forth all the facts concerning the
deceased-age, sex. nationality, ETC..
and finally, cause of death, the line for the ply
sician's signature following this last. This being
the first time he had been called upon to per-
form this duty, the Doctor was somewhat con-
fused, and filed his certificate out after the fol-
lowing fashion:
Name-John Smith.
Age-Seventy-one.
Sex-Male,
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Cause of Death-E. F. Hodges.
The certificate was returned by the board, with
an Endorsement commencing his candor.
"Dave Gooding's failure to get the speaker
ship reminds me of a little story" said a Demo
cratic member from one of the Ohio-river coun-
ties. "a countryman dropped into a clothing
house he was in the habit of patronizing and
asked for Isaac, the man he had been in the
habit of trading with. Isaac said the surviv-
ing partner, you ask for Isaacl Don you know
alretty as Isaac is det2 Yes, Isaac vas killed in
der crush Killed in the crushg inquired the
countryman. Yes said the clothing merchant,
'dere vas a wedding Offer by nay brudderin-law's
house, und eferypody vas dere. All at once
some Cruel person stick his het in at der door
und yell sob lott" You see how it vas. Dere vas
a rush for der door-Isaac vas little, you know,
und vas killed in der crush
so it was with Dave Gooding. There were
so many of us wanting places that when the
grand rush was made Dave was killed in the
crush"
r. c. j. Pendleton, of the Marion county dele
cation, finds himself beset by ofice-seekers on
all hands, most of whom swear, by all that is
good, bad and Indifferent, that prior to the late
caucus he made them ~unequivocal promises of
all sorts of positions, although to his
certain knowledge he has never seen
half of them before. Thereby hangs a
tale, which is something like this: Col. John w.
Tindall, of the News, was a candidate for assist
ant clerk of the House, and bears a very strik-
ing resemblance to Pendleton. In his meander-
ings about the hotel lobbies he was accosted,
time andmime, again by persistent candidates
for minor clerkships, ETC., under the mistaken
impression that he was indeed Pendleton. At
first he was justly indignant, and fastened to
explain, butin the midst of it all he learned that
Pendleton was engaged in fighting him vigor
ously, and a happy thought struck him. He
would no longer explain when mistaken for
Pendleton, but would acquiesce in every
proposition made, promise everybody
anything and everything when asked
for positions, and would enjoy the
retribution that would follow the actions of his
enemy. He faithfully pursued the plan, and
the doughty legislator lives to repent his opposi-
ton to Tindall. He can never square himself
with even a small percentage of those who
swear he is the most shameless deceiver of
youthful innocence now loose.
MnW