Daily Republican., 1885-08-12
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT

"skip =" The exclamation was ut.
tered by a citizen Of Brady street, and |
was directed at tramp who had called
70 ask for dinner. Not much !'"Yoa
won't, eh ?" "No, SIR" Then I'll
make You i" "Go ahead" Did the
citizen pull off his coat and spit on his
hands and knock the tramp In the mid
die OF next week No, sir he put
his fiDger in his mouth and uttered a
| sharp whistle, and his wife came to the
door with o hoe handle in her hand,
and INQUIRED d" What, another +?
Well, look out for splinters 70 Her
husband stood aside and she made a
rush, but when the weapon cane down
The tramp wasn't there. From the
othar side of the fence he lifted his hat
and gently but firmly observed ANY
woman " ho strik 90 man, save in the
| way OF kindness, deserves the gallowB
Keep your old cold vittles and go toI
Halifax ~
A Danville man left OH old watch at
\ a jewelers. to be repaired, ard few
weeks later he called for it and asked
what the charges were. 1.-TWO dollars
and half" replied the tinker. Did
you say two dollars and a half z"
"Yes. sir (; twenty shillings." We'll,
replied The customer, "you can take
the watch toward it. for part pay, and
b when l get some change I'll come IN
; and pay the balance"
"My dear" said husband to his
!. wife, Am unable TO get any sleep.
n have tossed ever since came to bed.
wish you would get up and prepa1e q
/ me little laudanum." Its hardly
q worth while now," she replied, consult
10 nj fina tn
build the kitchen fire." Then he sank
n into quiet, restful slumber.
" Yes" she said to her escort as they
~ glided around the rink" do 30 love
X roller skating. When we are sailing
,around this way our souls seem to bt
floating away 10 Heaven, and.
'. At this point both OF their soles hoatet
ID away toward Heaven while the rest o
y. her smo;e the earthly floor with I
! mighty smite.
ID Women, ny boy," said pareL
or to his son, !" are delusion ami
snare" 1T is queer" murmured IN
boy, show people will hug delusion;
r Aud while the old man looked queer
ld at him the young man hunted up bl
q roller skates and went out 10 be SHARED
te Said member of the beard: "Now
1t there's Kirkner. Look at him now
TX we stem him when he didn't nave
50 shirt on his back" Did you? ex
~ claimed bystander. Yes, sir. Whe
he went in bathing =, Manhatta
~ Beach"
IS. "What do you want to set such
ltouah chicken before me foI?' tbdii
ID nantly exclaimed a fair damsel IN
IS restaurant, the other day. Age o'
r. fore beauty, always, you knoV
1 ma'am - replied the polite attendan
III Dietrich, your father in law Is yer
for low" " said the physician. think |
ar will hardly live through the night
4 Ach, WE'LL" gays Dietrich, "dot WI
. all right De better he is dead
quicker he is of"
En- "Your conduct surprises me y {:
- claimed the good old farmer, when
HI caught q neighbor's boy robbing b
co annie orchard. "No more than yo
lappearance surprises me-" replied q
ST. inoorrigib BILE youth, as he hastily d
st parted.
II Paragraphs are floating about to g
RS effect that diseases are frequently col
y municated by kissing. We suppos'
- every one knew that the most dangt
Un s.,r orls and swift of all diseases were col
nth municated in that way-heart diseas
VI "s.y. bub. have you got stoves
VA the school house ?" NO, Stree
70 mt !" Anv furnaces in the basement
u " No we don't need 'em." How
ia YOU k NED warm, then 2" Teach
we. warns our Easements with sh
" gle."
OIL "say, pilot, what's the boat stopl
&C
-ot portant pa ,senger-" But l can see
- skv overhead Pilot" Wal,
the biler bu ,ts We amt a-going Il
way"
"Dennis, I'll make you q present
the rev little artic les you have eto
from me during the year., said FL
kins to his porter. Thankee, sor
said Dennis "may all your friel
trate you the same way"
! |! "Hey, sambo, whA' dye leave
las boardin' place fur?" Oh,
III - charge too much for dis year darke
Wha' dey charge ?" Dey cha
ps, me wifi stealing de spoons, and
", lef."
go A man said to his aged mother, ,spe
Ing Il ing of his wife al do wish co
~ keep Mary from exaggerating
iis !" Get her to talk abont her own ae
liD responded the shrewd old woman.
on "some men are born great. &c
achieve greatness, and some hi We or
Ind ness thrust upon them." remarko'
small man in q street car as ia. WOE
Gil sat square down q ,ou bin.
mol "I am SURPRISED, John," said an
la,ly when chs found the bu
aoe helping himself to some of the FIJI
the lold port. $50 am 1, ma'am.
thought you had gone out" was the
ply.
. An old maid in Nashville keeI
parrot which swears and mon
eTt which chews tobacco. She says,
m. tween the two, sho doesn miss a
band very much.
Nl A Detroit doctor knocked a !
y down with club in o street q
l2f rel and then charged him 81 for
- ing up his scalp. You can't STUN
luctor with hard times.