Savannah morning news., 1885-12-13
BRIGHT BITS. "a

"Do YOU wish to be my wife, mabelg' said
a httleboy. ... p. ........,.
Yes" incautiously answered MabeE
sette. II SITS
A POLITICIAN says he does not belieye that
party ls strengthened by navy ward. In
asmuch as navy is not strengthened by a
navy yard either the concern night as well
be aDoIlshed.-NorriSt0aoR Herald.
The FAsTIDIoUs WATERS: Customer -
WI by, hang 1t, man! You're .wlplng OFF my
plate with your handkerchief" New waiter
-"Ihars all right. I'm going to put 1t in
the wash next week, anyhow. ."-Te1ds SIT
in0s.
SECOND HUSBAND to wife)-Are you as
fond OF me as you were Of your first husband,
dear?
Wife-yes, indeed; and if you were to die,
John, would be just as fond OF my third
I'm not woman TO marry for anything but
loVe."-ChicdgO NeIcS.
MAGIsTRATE-"Everb been arrested before?"
Prsoner-''No, sab
Magstrate-"Didn't send YOU to the island
last winter for ten davs:"
Prsoner-'I declar's to goodness, now 1
looks at yo', JedRe. bieves yo' did. But Ise
a poo ham to member faces. s.'-GdIdeg.
CLIENT ito lawyer)-I am afraid the physi-
cans testimony will convict me.
Lawyer Observation-Disclosures be alarmed
about that. I'll read up little about poison
IN the stomach, and in ten minutes pu have
Judge and Jury think he Is hired perjurer.-
NeW York Sun.
WHEN Talmage preached his recent SER
mon on Absalom. he omitted to call attention
to this pathetic fact:
o. Absalom o. Absalom
o, AbsalOm, my sOpl
If thou hadst worn periwig,
Thou hadst not been undone!
Hair and Hide.
FIRST CHAPPIE-"What's the matter. old
boy? You look badly
Second ChaDpie-'Ya'as. Don't eat enough,
y know"
First ie-'IndigesHon?"
Second Chappie--"NO, L quit tipping the
That custom If starve to deatn. ."-Ne10 York
Meas.
THE iceman smiles as he counts the gains,
Derived from the trade in summer,
And as he walks the streets, disdains
The greeting of the plumber.
He feels his oaNs; well, let him smile,
This thing viii be adjusted;
III make hole in the Iceman's pile
When the water pipes are busted.
N as -NesO York Star.
AN ATRoCIOUs CRIMINAL.-A well dressed
man jumped from q baggage car on the Penn
sylvanla railroad at Elizabeth early yester-
day morning He carried a large satchel. AS
ne acted IN manner which aroused sus-
picion, he was arrested. The satchel con-
tanned l5-pound cannon ball and map of
the battle-ground OF Gettysburg The man
refused to give his name and was locked up
Nea1drb DGflV Adoertiser.
A MAN called upon his lawyer the other day
and began to state his case in rather an abb
rupt manner: "SIr, have come TO you for
advice. Pm fundamentally" "A what?"
spoke out the learned counsel. Husband
in-law, sir" | have not seen that defined in
domestic relations" Don't YOU know what
husband -in-law is? Sir, you are no law
yer. am a husband n-law, but not in fact.
sir-my wife run otf.-Neeo Orleans Times.
RoBINsoN-"YoH are good judge of a cigar
aren't you. DumleyT
Dumley-"What don't know about cigar
amt worth moving"
Robinson-"Try this and tell me what you
think Of it. | bought a few of them for
genuine CAB Bdgs Is A Ues."
Dumley (smok ingl-'Delicious (pufiO, Rob
inson. Delightful (puffl flavor"
Robinson-"CG6 Bd0e lie 0es, Spanish for
cabbage leaves. They cost four for ten cents.
--EgchaRge.
COUNSEL to witness)-"The previous wit
ness swOre that when found he was breathing
like pOrpOise"
Witness-'I dunno bout dat, sah."
Counsel-"N on were presentp'
Witness-"Y es, sab"
COunsel-"Examined him carefully?"
Witness-"Yes, sab. l zamined him keer-
fully"
Counsel-"And yet you will not swear that
be was breathing ike a porpoise?"
Witness-"No, sah."
Counsel-"I gu will state TO the court why"
Witness-"COs l nebber heard a po'poise
breave, ah.'-Aelo York sun.