Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1885-12-18

md crying "Disna, Queen Of the Heavens.
| salute theei' stepped into my room.
Stepped in, 20 be greeted by CHASTITY
ihrieks Of "Mou Dieui au voleurl Monsieur,
[ perishi vitel vital Monsieuri"
A white form leaped FROM the bed, darted
tut banging the door, and all was still
"By Jove!' cried, sinking on the win
iowsilL ats the wrong houser II was
For moment was stunned. Then my
nnguins temperament asserted itself and /
,egan 10 regard my position as strikingly
humorous one. How the fellows would roar
over IL What joke it was, and how had
cared that bowling female in the bed-no,
lot in the bed, in the hall She would
probably return with Monsieur Well,
sould easily explain to him. As lighted a
cigarette rehearsed the coming scene. "Mon-
,ieur" would doubtless arrive excited and
Uneasy. l would calm him, saying: my
rood man, this Is all a mistake I'm per-
ect gemman; no cause for alarm; lost my
Sey at poker party; tried to get in my own
window; got in yours-seel And the whole
lffair would end in n bowl Of punch and
aughter, just as Levers heroes always
finished their adventures. But
heard loud. frightened voice calling
Charles, bring your pistol; I've got my
gun, hurry up" and steps came hurTying
Along the hall. A faint idea OF the situa
ton foated through my hazy brain. They
thought was burglar, and before | could
ret them to see the point OF the "jjoke"
,heyd shoot me.
"Guess you'd better skip, Teddy" said |,
md dived out OF the window.
/ tell you it seemed an awful long way up
that respectable mansion. but the down trip
was short one just put my teeth to-
ysther and slid down the waterpipe like a
Streak. No way stations, thank you, till l
was lying under the fencs in the alley, pant
ng
l wasn't minute too soon, for no sooner
aad l flattenoi myself out than bang went
Charles pistol, and bangi went monsieur's
yum; and so the cowardly idiots went on till
they'd emptied their barrels.
by Jover / murmurad, that was near
:hingP
you're right it was" said rough voice
N my ear, and a strong arm jsrked me up
by my collar Looking up / found myself
IN the grasp Of policeman.
"You insolsnt rascal, let go my collar"
yelled.
Il will noti'
"You willl'
~ will not and II you don't keep Q civil
tongue in your head rK club you"
Here the logical side OF my character
zane 10 the front. This authorized brute
was big, / was not would subue him by
he force of my intellect "The pen is
nightier than the sword" etc.
my good man." said In q placabls man.
aer, ~you are acting under q dslusion. You
;hink am q criminal, do you notP
n do" he replied, tightening his grip.
~Not unnatural" l urbansly replied.
But can easily show you your mistake.
I'll admit TO you con -confiden-sh ally, am
little of color-been of with the boys,
ost my key, AMI in trying to climb In my
window got in the wrong house. Sabel
Why, live in this block myself"
"Yes, you look like you did, ;" retorted the
blue coated fend.
swell, I do" cried desperately; -and I
belong to one OF the Oldest families in Phil
adelphia."
"Yaas family got wore out before it
reached you" chuckled 324 Now, look
here, young Teller, don't feel as funny as
you do Isaw you come down that house.
and Pm going to run you in, and come back
Tor particulars"
Aud he did. I, Teddy Bouncer. was
carried off, struggling aud kicking. to the
station house, and dragged into the
Attempted burglary at 1913 Chestnut
street," reported 324
"Your namel" inquired the plain.
A brilliant idea flashed across me.
rommys meanness got me into this scrape;
4 q should suffer, too
Thomas Virgins. " answered boldly.
"Residence"
"No 1924 Walnut strser
OF course knew should be identified I'm
the morning, but not before some account
of the desperate attempt Of Thomas Wig
gins of No l624 Walnut street TO break
into house" had crept into The Morning
Gabbler, to be read by said Thomas friends
"OccupationP resumed the captain.
"Waterpipe gy mnast," / replied recklessly.
"He's drunk, cap'n," said No. 1914
$50 see. Put him in No. ID" directed the
captain.
As was led away 10 my dungeon cell a
reporter came in for items and heard
them laughing over the drunken dude.
But knew Tommy and his friends would
have q pleasant surprise when they read
their morning papers
What an awful night ] had in that
sitting cell My head throbbed and burned
and my throat was so dry 1t was agony to
swallow. felt Us though l should go mad
II didn't have drink.
water" cried, beating on the door.
whats thatr asked the warden. coming
up.
Water; do bring me some water"
"Oh, you shut up; this amt no hotel.
the horrid brute retorted, and went away.
My suffsrings were fearful All my ex-
hilaration was gone, and all that remained
from my spree was bruises and repentance.
I resolved, II l lived through the night,
never TO drink again.
Whats the user moralizsi. Suppose
you drink to drown your troubles You
succeed for night; you are first madly
gay, and then all is oblivion. The next
morning there are the same old troubles sit
ting at the foot OF your bed waiting 10 greet
you and in addition you have an empty
pocketbook and a splitting headache
In fact should have composed quite n
temperance lecture II had not succumbed
10 sleep, for even the wicked can sleep.
About o'clock In the morning an officer
appeared with NY muddy hat and informed
no was to go to the court hou'e for exam
nation. Moreover, found our route was
to DO Chestnut street, so that all my friends
coming down spruce and spotless 10 bust
ness would meot mo coming up covered
with mud, unwashel, unshaved, and IN
charge Of a policeman.
road all tine time that the police force is
nest OF bribery and corruption, but it's