St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-02-21
ACHARMING CRANK.
CWpid mud hr Luck IF Girfs ia DHi;0tH--d
Flight of PiOg~eRce That EirntS Proctor
KH"t * I.Hiftth Ordtiyn.


Flight of @iOq"ence That RiratS Proctor
K5"t \ THiHtJi Ordttyn.
From the New York Sun.
Cupid is queer little chap, and the older
he grows the crankier se gets. He is n big
ger fool-maker to-day than he was 1000
years ago, Shen he induced Col. Samson, the
great original lion-tail -twister and con-
gressonal-i aw-bone swirger, to lag his wool
and his glory in the lap of a half negro,
Delilah. He is more cgregious ninny-
breeder now than when ne led all Homer's
heroes on that wild Grecian bender after
the Sarah Bernhardt Of the Trojan era. He
is a more unconscionable heather amid all
our nineteenth century blaze Of Gospel light
aud liberty than when he and his scanty-
skirted mamma, Mrs. Venus, led the pagan
orgies OF Athenian damsels beneath the shade
of ancient olive groves. He is creations
marplot. dignity's dethroncr, reasons upset
ter and scoGer. Oh women, toOthess anu
/ shrlveled, touched by the pestiferous little
archer who turks in rosebuds and cabbage
heads, plaster their graveyard oountenances
with cnamels and paints enough to gorge a
camp OF kickapOo squaws, swing gawds aud
/ gcwgaws To every available protub rance, pile
on sweet sixteen toggery, and smirk and
! giggle in a style that would drive a whole
bedlam of ordinary iunatics 10 suicide. The
bigger the folly the surer the stroke. No
man was ever truly in love who did not make
a JOYOUS ass of himself, and the hugAr the
ears the purer tine fame. All masculinity is
doomed. sooner or later, 10 be smitten. pune
/ 1
mantle or wings--whchrver he wears-of
swilt-comiug Saint Valentine. wish to tell
all womankind that nowhere else on earth Is
/ that shifting, puucturing and happening so
easily done; nowhere else beneath the sap
phirean dome of heaven does Cupid, the
Lilliputian gizzarl-percer, come 50 near hay
ing, like death, all seasons for his own; no.
where else in all the grand rounds Of the sun
and moon aud peepiag stars. are the victims
SO plentiful and SO readily cateha be. crazable
and smashablr rs in the vast imperial regions
Of the Northwest, the Nomanless wonderland
Of the world.
Girls Of America. look at Dakota. with four
and a half men aud BOYS 10 every woman sud
girl. Nearly every town in this greatest and
graudest of the territories Is in the same
deplorshle fix, counting its girls over every
nigbt as carefully as c'd-t!mey ladies' 10 their
chickens or spoons, aud never able, hy any
arit! IN etic. g. scare mp more than one 10 ev-
cry fifty fellows. The whole great American
Northwest groans under the woes Of ! similar
restitution Think Of a single missionary in
Manitoba. two OF three yesr- sKo. With eight
hundred bachelors under his charge. and not
one weddable girl or pushing widow.
Girls Of the woman crowded. oid-maid-
/ accommodating older states. here is the 6elG
I for YOU; here YOU ure needed; here YOU are
/ sure Of 4 dozen husbands apiece II yOu want
/ them. Here is an empire, stretching two
! thousand miles 10 the north and west, 40 the
! Saskatchewan nd across the mighty Rockies.
I TO the golden sbpes % the Paciiic-an empire
vaSter and grauSler. more fertile sud beauti-
4 tul and glorious than ever ROme's gilded
eagles glittered over in her painiest DAYS Of
! power and pomp aud pHde--,hat waits the
| coming Of lis misiresses, its princesses and
/ queens. Il Is ready TO fling all its Clories
and lis fellows at your feet. Without Won Il
IS doomed to he vastsky-roofcd. horizonrd
walled prison house Of hapless, hopeless
/ satyrs. 4 masculine wilderness, a womauIess
realm.
Come West. Young woman. come North
west; aud stand not upon the order Of vou-
coming. but come ST once Every one N
you Is guaranteed - strike masculine bon
ANA In Ninety DAYS time. And. a. il Is but
fortnight TIL &. Valentines aud Cupid's
day, this ScTced may, perhaps. pass for Da-
kota's valentine 10 American femiuiuitv: 70
the girls. the women Of ;he MODEST land be-
meath the SUP, who have. individually sud
collectively. no more ardent aduirer. no
more dcvozt worshiper, than
T. DoNAN.
4 Devils Lake. Oak. Feo. l.