The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-09-10
HUMOR.

AN epitaph for boatman: Lille Is
oar.-Budget.
The favorite too. of the printer is the
adze. Pittsburgh Chronicle.
A SILVER in the bush is worth two in
the hand. Whitehall Times.
In India il costs more to get married
than to die. Nature is full of wise pro
visions. philadelphia Call.
WHEN man sees double, it is evil
dence that his glasses are too
strong for him. -B0ston Transcript
GATHER wisdom by open ears and
eyes, and let thy mouth be en- exemplar
of the early closing moyement.-Bar-
Jers' Gazette.
DIR. WARREN's theory explains the
anxiety of some people to reach the
pole. Who can blame man for want
ing to get back to Eden?-St Paul
Herald
PARIS hackmen complain that some
of their passengers are rude 10 them.
Poor thingsl Let them come over to
this country and. revenge themselves.
Teras SJtirlgs.
ONE man may call another a liar
with perfect freedom in Kentucky, but
it will prevent litigation over his estate
if he will make his will before he does
it. Merchant Traveller.
For twenty cents you can obtain
liquid materials for tremendous spree
in Japan. Louisville papers who don't
philadelphia Call.
The planets have been weighed and
the moon blocked out into election pre-
cincts, but the heft and capacity of a
boys pocket still remain unknown
Chicago Ledger.
A BRIDGEPORT man had "revela-
ton" that the Lord wanted him to work
for 90 cents day less than he was re-
ceiving. His re. uest was granted by
his thoughtful employer, who is
looking for more strikes" of the same
sort.-HarGord Post.
THE BoARDER's MORNING soLILooUY.
How swift the hours of sleep glide byl
| herr the sparrOws Ginning;
| The mackerel peddler's screeching cry
PrCclmms that days beginning.
Once more - dress mus begin,
| The sun shines out in splendor,
And h ar III thud or the TO ling pin
That makes the beefsteak tender.
-J10SfUW (rpYtFI.
WHEN Philip of Macedon wrote to
the Spartan ephors: "If / enter La
coma / will level LacedGmon to the
ground" he received for answer the
small but significant word, "If." Tele-
graph rates between Macedon and La.
.ced emon must have been unusually
high. Louisville Cottrier-Journal.
WHAT did your husband think of the
play last night?" asked Mrs. Yeast OF
her neighbor, Mrs. Crimsonbeak, the
other morning. "Oh, he thought il
was very dry" did he say SOP" mo,
he didn't say so, but he went out be-
tween the acts" swell, that's proof
enough, certainly. Yonkers States
man.
A CORRESPONDENT wants to know why
boys whistle and why men do not.
Boys whistle out OF inherent perversity
or something of that sort; but man
soon ruins his whistle, and that is the
end of it. He browns it by too much
wettng. And this is the one good thing
which can be said of the tipping habit.
Boston Transcript.
In consideration OF the fact that the
new baby of the Japanese Minister has
been named after President Cleveland
correspondent sends us the following
wish for his welfare:
All, tootsy- wootsy little Jap.
Now Tying on your mammy's lap!
delightful bit OF black and-tan,
When home YOU 90 across the sea,
Let's hop that you may live TO be
The Grover Cl0vel nd OF Japan.
Boston GioJe.
A WESTERN paper tells of young
woman in Idaho who whipped four
lions" Such young woman doesn't
need big brother to protect her
and it is safe to wager that her fathers
front gate doesn't need repairing once
year. A man doesn't want a wifi,
that can whip four lions-unless he car
whip about NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Herald.
Is the Color Of the sun Blue.