New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-08-04
THE TALK or THE DAY.

New-York Hell expected to return tomorrow.
THE TALK or THE DAP.
Lightning struck plano In house in York County
Me- the other day and thoroughly demolished IT, This
will engthen tho theory, recently advanced by
scientist that lightning is possessed Of Intelligence
An anxious inquirer asks: How do poets lvof We
necessary one A sensible person would have asked :
Why do poets live - Boston Courier
Always over head and ears in business-the diver
TAKE TINE BY THE FORELOCK.
The youth who has the cash to-day
Should on his " uncle cal,
And interest on the ulster pay
-[Boston Courier.
A cynical opponent Of womans suffrage insists tnat
the invention OF shirt studs the cause OF womans In
crson into politics and sms He says that In the days
OF shirt buttons she had much occupation IN SOWING
them on that she could not give her attention to any
thing else He signs for the return OF the good OLD
times.
"No" said the pork butcher, not In the habit OF
swearing but when that boy came In and stole strhs
OF sausagcs could not help exclaining dog'g'neF
Martin Farquhar Topper at the age OF sevcnty-hve
has given up writing verse; Better late than never
MEMoRITER.
A monument None other doth he need
Than that himself hath built More lasting, TOO.
Than block OF stone or monumental brass.
1t lifts Its top. capped with Nations gratitude
Tn into the fair sky Of Peace. No touch
OF Time can rough the shaft nor shake its base,
Firm ixed beneath and anchored In tho bands
-iJ0sxPn WnIrroy in The Philadelphia Inquirer
Three years ago the farming of the amber fishery was
let out by the Government to parties who nave
worked 1t with much care and practical foresight
that the states share OF the increased yield for lss3
was oOOO marks nearly 100000 marks for lsoi-o,
o. farf lQ
He to the gentemanly clerk,
Put mild Interrogation, 49,,
Regarding eary traus OF which
lie wanted Information.
Tn, gentlemanly clerk no heed
Paid to the cxhOrtatiOn;
For he his nails sat trimming tnere
In Thoughtful coSitaton.
Again the guest accO'ted MIN;
Expressed his PERTURBATION
For interrupting MIN Ia sucn
Important occupation -
But he mus; to the city 20.
And, with his appreciation,
He'd ike 10 learn the earliest train
That leaves the railroad station.
The gentlemauy clerk looked up
With weary indignation;
Then 10 his nas returned, without
The slightest hesitation.
The guest spake out again, this time
with much transportation
Ills language full OF cuss words was,
His tone OF agitation.
al will submit to this" he cried,
"fOr consideration.
To your employer will go,
Aud ask an explanation.
seek this caravaiserai,
Ny few weeks OF vacation
To pass away In peace and QUOT
And restful recreation -
And So do e. the clerk broke In.
With placid observation
Tile guest tirst stared. then walked away
In silent concentration.
-iBoston saturday Evening Gazette.
TWO WAYS.
First Attempt.
Northumberland Inc, gentleman, but would you be
kind enough
Mendicsnt-justa few cents for nights lodg--
Mendicant- LODI sing-no place Ieep-won't yer
pWsco dies away In the distance Illuminating sense Of
fa!lurel
Second Attempt
Mcrdicant-say. partncr-jnst minute.
lsde.trian-Wcl. what Is II $1,000, ..
MendicaIt--rhe fact Is I've Decn urihkih Pfe''y
"P Pcde -trian-Grcat sun Ishoud sayso whewl
NendicaLt-An' Pm clean busted Now "'uiu ''u
let me nave ten cents for drink -
Pedestrian-Here you are: Go and brace up;
iNeudicant goes and purchases cup OF coHee ana
sand ". ch like a sensible man).-lChicago Rambler
tn. following advertisement appears in an English
newspaper The advertiser evidently knows what he
wants:
DOG aerce for yard. WITH fondness for trouscr
seats "u"'e'' Mr. n.y.. No Bankst. Birmingham.
THE DEATH OF GRANT.
Proud Eagle emblem OF our Nations might!
Close thy bright eye and droop thy lofty head;
For he who watched and ruled thy onward flight
Is numbered with the ustrious dead.
Perched on his standard. mid the Gercest strife.
Thou dd'st behold the tide of war roll by.
And see him. cal N amid tho wreck OF life,
Scan DER the field with arm and fearless eye
And ,hou dId'st ark, when on the ship Of state
Round him the foaming waves OF faction rolled,
When midst the storm and roar OF nerco debate
lie srasped the helm with dauntless hand and bold.
And yet again, when in the final strife,
At last defeated, but not overawcd,
Io yielded up the shattered arms OF life
And with calm words. surrendered to his God