The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01


msnts. hsr futile rsasonings with the clear
headed, strong hearted surgeon who had
married her five years ago, a. d would have
bad her ne good and staid and homelike as
were Other wives about his sphere I could
have scoffed at her desire for absolute admit
ration and power, her foolish resistance to
control the self will which at last cast her
into my arms and away from the better
mans. / knew her charscter--I could read
it like q book. i could influence IL for good
or harm, and sank my own identity to
make her career with me the record of her
own Standardization. IL was her own way |
absolutely-her own life, not mine-but no
roses ever strewed the path along which we
went together. only the dust and ashes
which grew deeper aud thicker with every |
step We took away from right
Ten years afterward IL might have been
thought that We had settled down, but we
never had. She was thirty FIVE years OF age
then, and as pretty and graceful q woman as
she had ever been; the only change in her
was in the depth OF strange, grave thought
which, in repose, her features ways showed.
That long look ahead was very sad to watcn,
and one need not wonder of what she was
/ thinking. or OF the fgares In the distance
that fitted before her yesrning gaze. AVID
she did net know herself how long she would
lock thus, or how completely she had drifted
from the life about her. and from the home
that had never seemed to be hers. On the
|, con trary, she would reproach me with my
long brooding fits, my forgetfulness of her,
and there would come the terrible fear that
. will come 10 all women like her. that had
lerown weary of 1t all, and would be quit
of il soon, without much thought
for her. There were times when she
: would tell me this as the deep conviction
which she had. and had to deny its truth
to keep her sane. knowing in my heart how
true it was and that the life was one which
continually deplored. And yet there had
never come to me resolution TO escape it
mine had been career deliberately adopted
and 1t must go on to the end. 1t could not
be altered without my being to the world q
greater william than l was already. I had re-.
pented. bat no man or woman would have
believed in such a repentance as mine. He
has thrown Der off," would have been the
outcry against me. had acted like hound
from the beginning to the end. and 1T was
. ike me What else could have been ex-
pected? Poor woman
vi We had lost sight of Trafford all these ten
years. We had tried to forget him: we had
been abroad, moving from place to place
4 we had left him to his London practice in q
western suburb OF London. so far as we
D, knew, and he had not endeavored in any
way to find rs out. He had let US go from
his sight. He had not sought TO obtain 81
vorce, for he had not thought of taking to
himself a second vile, and he was content
with the two children-one boy, one girl
which she had left with him. We did mo-
even know that he had become famous In
e those ten wasted years OF ours, and that mer
|. spoke OF him with admiration and with graf
!. itude, the gift of healing being o Gods gif
" with him which had worked great ends
as There were stories of his goodness as well a
of of bis eccentricity, bat we had not heart
=. II them then-of his generosity, of his bs,
- temper, of his power, his pride-as there ar
SORES, false and true, of all men who ris
1t - 81 Ak-s LII IA
n not till We were again In London
>. tired out with many cities, that
% came across his name in the newspapers
Cd found that IL was not easy to escape tn
d, name which cropped up in every importan
y. case connected with the court or the nobility
W People sick unto death seemed to cry alou
~ for Sir Edward Trafford; he had been plat
he Ned Trafford when stole his wife away
TO man OF strong opinions and firm will bu
!. one who had never thought would rise :
IL hon ors such as he had gained.
Is I tried ut frt to keep the newspap, n fror
ed her but she was fond OF news. The thestr
cal world interested her-the concert world
the world of art and literature-end sh
~ would have guessed my motive had 1 mad
n. any marked effort to conceal news from hel
'e. She must have seen his name very frequent
IL, ly at last but she never alluded TO IT,; u
- London she grew more restless and excited
IL and was even strange ut times aud gave m
might be- advancing We were out Q gres
Al deal; the thester and the concert room wer,
IL our distractions; We were not fond Of home
&c we were strangely clad to escape II. 1t wa
as not pleasant 10 sit facing each other for Ions
Id hours, and TO be uncertain what thought
e. were troubling each OF us-even II one di,
dot despise the other In that heart ef heart
ne which was under lock and key. We bal NJ
~ society; we were To have been "sll in all,
10 and We still shrank from those friends "
or might have had. or the few honest irustin
~ folk who would have believed In 1.-The 70
70 sponnbilities'' about our darkened world
10 aud called us friends OF theirs. w
10 we're above deceiving them; we &C
s. cepied our position and lived yer,
IN staidly: we would have no new friends
and we had set ourselves apart from all the
ID old.
k Now and then strange accidents occurred
70 and unlooked-for meetings. The werld 1
- fall OF them, and we could not escape them
Q, Ten years had not swept Us out OF those ter
ID rible memories tor faces and incidents which
some people have. need not speak OF then
ve more; they were part OF our trials which
Id there was no eludiug they were part OF on
le contract.
ID II had often occurred 10 me that shout,
ht have been glad tn meet man like myself, o
TO nv thoughts and character, some one VIII,
IN had done m had done aud 10 whom oouls
n talk and reason-and, n IL were so, confess
Vntth nuuufeu Vasstvhr oVulu INV hsse'
A. him whether his iife's Sin had been worth
10 one hour of his better life3 whether he hae
,e lived down his remorse or " remorse hat
~ made his life hsllf Aud when uoh mar
ID by chance confronted me, some one whom
N knew by evil repute 10 be n man like me-a'
N bad ~ wss--and strange feeling that Il
o. was. I could shrink from him m from one los
n beyond redemption, aud whose career had
Q been q scandal and gross AfIront 10 me.
n was q sentimentalist. have taid already
he The reader Of these lines will not understand
a. me without knowing NJ my weakness.
. could not make the best OF my position, II
y was beyond me-
n | WAS thirty.sevs years OF age. aud rich
y man comparatively, when I came back 90
E,ndon witi her, Twas IN the prime OF life,
% when life should have bean at its best. and
. Jet could envy the workman with his child
J. s,rollins IN the public park through Witch