Iron County register., 1885-10-15
A CHAPTER OF ERRORS.
Odd Blunders Made by Intelligent Tele-
graph Operators.

Odd Blunders Made Dy Intelligent Telo.
graph Operators.
It seems, indeed, as if the transmits.
sion of messages was superintended
by some telegraphic Puck, whose
special delight is to commit malicious
perversities in the sense of messages
for no other purpose, apparently, but
to crafty his predictions for practical
joking. To some his pleasantries may
cause amusement but they are more
frequently productive of embarrass-
ment. How friendly greetings between
families have been altered, what dread
full suspense and alarm has been caused
among households and perturbation
among business men through the h d.
den telegraphic imp. none but those
who have been victimized can fully ap.
preciate or understand. A gentleman
once telegraphed asking that a horse
might be sent to the railway station to
meet him and was surprised to find 8
hearse instead. A prominent states.
man was accused of delaying legisla.
tive work through an unfortunate
idleness," when the honorable gentle.
mans illness was the cause OF
the DELAY. From being bad;
a man was made ''dead,n and
one that was mo worse became nc
more,' through telegraphic agency
Messages are sometimes made to read
precisely opposite 10 what is meant by
the sender, and trouble and disap
pointment is frequently causedb by these
perverted communications. .'Send
check this afternoon has become
..Send chase this afternoon;" ''Yom
bacon'' has been transmitted into
your banker;" 'Linseed oir' has
been converted into '.linseed meal"
Fifteen wagons into ''ffteen TONS"
Clothes have been made .'soles;"
''Sold'' made .'unsold." and the an.
nouncement "salmon received" has
been changed into balloon received. !"
When meetings are arranged through
the medium of the telegraph, it occasion.
ally happens that the time and place
of meeting is altered. Sunday has a
decided tendency to become Monday.
Tuesday is liable to be made Thursday.
and the first train has been altered in
to the last train. while places of meet.
ing have been changed or converted
into something that was painfully per.
picking to the recipients. 'Sonstanti-
nople among the grocers'' was a rather
unintelligible announcement, and the
changing of the request ''send nc
more into ''send on more" was cal
culated to produce annoyance. Here
is curious piece of composition which
a telegraph clerk turned out: Speak
er urged a compliment concerning the
desirability of Their cause and the
hounds of the execution" This being
interpreted meaneth: The speaker
urged a complaint concerning the de-
sertion of their cause at the hands OF
the executive" st. Vitus' dance
seems to have puzzled an operator, tor
he rendered it .Vile dance" a defini-
ton which the unfortunate sufferer
might not have disputed. The phrase,
"antiquities of the church." once got a
telegraphist into trouble. for he had
the audacity to write '.in 'quities of the
church." which must have shocked the
''unco guild" A paper had to apollo
gize for having-through a telegraphie
error-in the report of an unsavory
lawsuit referred to religious in,
stead of a 'Itgous" family. There
can be no question out the clerk who
wrote ''subterranean taverns," when
''caverns' was intended, must have
been suffering from the effects of a re.
cent visit TO some underground liquor
shop.-Loasdon Standard.