The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1885-09-10
NO. "a
The Best Show.
HOW MARTIN eRIGes- sLIPPEDsINTo SAM
JONELS' TENT.

o. -
1t by his paroxysms Of rage and his almost
ceaseless habit OF. swearing.
Martin, y said a friend, ''they tell me
that you have professed religion. y
| ''Yas, Abe, it's fact L amt cussed
| fur more than two months. Wy, say,
luther day when the old spike tail boss bit
J a mouthful o. hair outen my head gritted
my teeth but didn't cuss. My wife ex-
Ipected me to cuss sulphurous streak, but
| smiled after awhile an quietly took the
hair out Of old spike-tail's mouth. Here,
mother, says I, handin' the hair to my
wife, you can stuff your pin-cushion with
this.''
| "What was the cause of this. great
ichange? 2.
sam Jones and the Lord"
You heard Sam, did you ~
oh, vas. went up to Nashville to
m axe arrangements for sellin' lot of Ar
kansaw whiskey for Robertson county. l
hadn't heard asermon sence was boy.'M
wife she couldn't git me to go to church.
Wall, the first night arter 1 got to Nash
vile, Twas walkin roun' and seed big
Tent. Hello, thinks I, here show. III
Jes go in fur am t seed peart horse IN a
long time." My, L never did see such a
crowd. Folks damned agin one anotner
ike they was afeerd there wasn't going TO
De seats enuff. L serouged my way along
but couldn't find the ticket wagon. L seed
such crowd pourin' in that l though L
mout slip in, an done it as slick as
| whistle. [ looked round for the animals,
out couldn t see none, SO | TUX seat an
waited fur the performance to begin.
Putty soon smallish sort of fellow
hopped up. .''Thar's the ring-master,
thinks I. "He'slgoin' to. tell US about the
concert that'll take arter the show is out,
but bless you, he commenced to give out a
hymn. As wicked as I was, [ couldn't
help but think that he was carryin' the
burlesque leetle too fur, but what was
my establishment when the folks tux up
the hymn and commenced to sing it. /
leaned over to a fellow that set close
to me an whispered: 81 live out in Ar
because he wants to. fight so bad can al
| ways be accommodated, but they don't
jump up and fall down on the gospel this
way" The old man looked mighty hard
at me, but he didn't say nothing. After
the singin' some Teller put up purity good
sort o. pra'r. [ whispered to the old man
and said it was blamed shame. The old
Teller looked hard at me, and said that if l
didn't hush he would have me put out
This riled me. 1 told him there mout be
men enough in the show to put me out,
but agin they got through somebody
would rather go home than stay and laugh
at the clown. Then he perlitely told me
that it wasn't no show; that Mr.. Sam
Jones, the revivalist was going to preach.
thanked him fur his information, tuck
chaw terbacker, an lent back, concludin'
that it don't cost me nothin' an that 1
could stand it till they passed the hat
around. When Sam commenced to preach
| chawed my terbacker, an didn't pay no
attention to him, but putty soon it ap-
peared like he was playin' on a banjer. l
stopped chawin' and LOOKED, at him. Then
he tuck up the puttiest flute ever hearn.
l flung out my terbacker and listened. The
fust thing knowed.he had put down the
flute and tuck up fiddle. Laws MASSEY,
l never heard SIGH music in my life.
commenced to get sorry that 1 had ever
snapped bosses on Sunday, an it wasn't
long till l would give putty eff hadn't
pizened Weller's dog. l thought of things
that stole when L wuz boy-thought O
the thousand o. lies l had tole and the
tears commenced to run S.outen my eyes.
thought o. my wife, how true and patient
she had always been, an how often 1 had
hurt her feelin's thought o. my children,
an oh, Lord, the face of my little boy
the little boy that had whipped few
days before he died, come up before me.
couldn't stand it no longer. / drapped
on my knees an cried. "Oh, Lord, have
mercy on me sinner" | didn't care who
was loozln at me. wouldn't have cared
if the whole word had been thar. I hum
bled myself in the dust. an deep in my
heart l vowed that never again would
do anything wrong. A flash of warm
light entered my soul. : gt3Ij gladness
spread over my heart. / got up. Thar
standin' close to me was Sam Jones. He
reached out his hand an said:
Brother, the Lord has been kind to
you.
1 don't know how got outen that tent,
1o,1%
along the street everybody seemed to want
to shake hands with me. l went straight
way to the depot an tuck the first train
fur home. When my wife seed me comm
she walked slowly to meet me but, sir,
the blessed woman, seein' something in
my face, uttered shout and rushed into
my arms. Right thar atohed fur every
time l had hurt her feeiln's. That was the
best show eyer went to, Albeit was a
show whar every man had chance. 1
amt done nothing wrong sence, an as 1
told you, .didd't euss when old spike
tail bit a han full o. hair often the top o.
my head.-ArkdRsdlo Tfdveler.
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