The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-08-15
For TIE ARKAEsAw TRAvELxR.
 THE BATTLE OF THE EGGS.
BY FRED I. DEAN.

tn onC OL Out prominent Capttal CltleS, an organization, entirely local in its char acter, known as the Y. M. (. A.-Young Men Call Again society for the promo ton of the interests of the noble Guild of Tape culture, recently met in their asylu n over a gilded palace devoted to the vota- ries of Gambrinus and Bacchus, and there solemnly resolved that the inces- sant hours of toll imposed by their greedy employers, seriously interfered, not only with their social erjoyments, but pre- vented them from storing their minds with useful and moral knowledge. It was further resolved that a committee be appointed to wait upon the gentlemen, from whom the members of the society each drew his weekly stipend of seven or eight dollars, and request them to curtail the hours of labor by closing their various marts at the firing of the sunset gun al the barracks. To this proposition the employers readily assented, at least the m-jority of them acceded to the proposi- tion, and threats, both loud and deep, were made by the Y. M. C. A. of dire vengeance against any who should dare violate this agreement.
 Amongst the tradesmen of the city was one, foreigner, from the city of Jerusa- lem, who had also assented to the ar- engagement. At least it was so claimed by members of the Y. M. C. A. But the latter soon discovered that Moses was not acting in good faith. At least his bazaar was seen to be open every evening with floods of light and his corps of sales peo- pie at their posts. This breach of contract so aroused the ire of the society that they convened in their asylum one evening in their full dress uniform, consisting oi toothpick shoes, candle mold pantaloons, seersucker overcoats, la-da-da straw hats and cigarettes, to take action in the prem ses. A dense crowd soon filled the street in front of the bazaar of the offend ing Israehte, and the famous Battle of the Eggs" was fought with fury. Soon the awning of the sidewalk, the front of the building and even the floors inside were beautifully frescoed in chrome yell low tints. Oae brave little cash boy like modern Casabianca, stood on the slimy walk whence all but him had fled, and with fists clenched, the tears stream ing down his cheeks and yolks of eggs down his hair and clothes, he fiercely de- nounced the enemy, claiming that under the provisions of the constitution of the United States, his employer had perfect right to employ his time and his clerks as he and they deemed best. But the battle still ragged, until the ammunition was eggs-hausted. The doors were closed, the lights extinguished and naught but empty shells, besmeared walls and an at- mosphere redolent with the foul fumes of antiquity were left to tell the tale.
 Of course arrest were made, and the case brought before City Chief Justice Griffin. The principal witness for the prosecution was the gentleman from Jerusalem. He testified substantially as follows:
 "Vell, now, yudge, yust told you all apout it. agreed to keep open mine shtore shut init the other fellers unt sell no goots. Dose young mems they told me they want to close the shtores early so they improve their minds some more already. We'll, wanted to improve the minds of mine young peebles too. It vas hot as sheol, yudge, in mine shtore after der gas vos lit, unt so l put an empty box of cigars init der door inside, to keep oud der peebles init mine shtore, und then yust calls mine young men, und mine handmaidens, und der strangers, vot were inside mine gates, together, undN im- proved their minds by telling them to be honest mid der customers, und not sharge them more as von per cent. pro6d init der goots they sell"
 Stop there," said the court. "What did you mean by one per cent3"
 "Vy yudge, l told dem glerks of mine dot if der goots gost one tollar not to sharge more as two ,ollars, We'll, yudge, yust as l vas improving der minds init mine glerks dose Y. NJ. C. A. fellers gomes along und say, Hello Moses, yust you shut up,' und then the eggs commenced to break all the shtore over und had these men arrested for shpoil. ing mine shtore."
 "Did you see these men in the act of throwing eggs2"
 "Veii, yudge, l told you yuss how das was, had to go out init mine back door behind to see friend dos vos seek, und l not see much apout der egg throwing mineself"
 The principal witness for the deferse