davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28

Madge were alone rather abruptly al
luded to the past.
''He can't be going to propose al
ready" thought the pretty widow,
and deciding IN her mind TO put him
off for at least twelvemonth.
"Madge," said Wilfred, "when |
came here and found you the wife of
my friend, thought | should 90
mad"
Madge muttered something about
it being too soon to talk of such
things, but he did not appear to no.
tice her.
EYES," he went on, 81 loved you
still. Forgive me. 1t was very
wrong, and couldn't help it. And
now"
He paused for a moment, and
Madge colored hotly, forgetting her
recent bereavement, and knowing
that the man she loved was meta
phorically a. her feet.
'sAnd now p she said, softly,
lifting her eyes to his face.
"And now?' he returned in an ag-
itated voice, snow / love-your sis
ter"
Mrs. Enfeld's complexion never
looked more lovely-her cheeks were
like roses, but her eyes we'll, they
had rather an angry sparkle, and her
lips were slightly compressed.
81 am glad, very glad indeed"
she said with emphasis. ''If l were
BERTHE, l should not care for a mans
second love, but, of course, every
body to his taste.''
And with this parting taunt she
walked out of the room just as Bert
lie entered it. The girl could not un-
derstand the meaning of the angry
look her sister gave her.
She did understand it, though, a
moment later, when Wllfred caught
her in his arms and told her of his
love.
After all, it was fortunate for all
parties concerned that affairs had
taken this turn, for short time later
on it was found that George Enfield S
name should have been among the
"missing" and not the killed.
Madge, to do her justice. was gen.
timely glad when she heard that her
husband had turned up, safe and
sound, and welcomed him as warmly
as if she had never thought of being
his friends wife.
So all ends happily, and, for
George, at least-where ignorance is
bliss it is folly to be wise.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28

LII the legs are not hollow, why is it
they get drunk so easily?
Funny, but you wouldn't patronize
tailor unless he gave you fits.
A man is ''perfect brick" when he
shows himself all the better for being
hard-pressed.
There is no government in the world
more desirable than ours, unless, perhaps,
it be one that has more offices.
There are great many young men in
town whose inability to raise beard and
dollar is about equally distributed.
"Ethel, you mustn't say Il won't to
papa. 1t is naughty" "Well, but papa,
what shall l say whenI mean won't?"
man never appreciates how verbose
he is in ordinary speech until he comes
to write his first dispatch in a telegraph
office.
Many of the visitors an editor is COM
PEELED to see are less intelligent, in some
cases, than the trees. Trees know when
to leave
"Why are those things on your dress
called bugle trimmings?" George wanted
to know. co." Emily replied lightly
because pa blows over the bills"
A nineteen-year-old western girl has
just married her fourth husband She in
tends living married life until she dies,
if the stock of husbands only holds out.
A bald-headed man who has heard that
the hairs of a mans head are numbered,
wants to know if there is not some place
where he can obtain the back numbers
A down-east fire company, in resolu-
tion on a deceased member, say: 'sHe
has responded to his last alarm" 1t is a
wonder they didn't add she's gone to his
last fire."
My friend, you may say that you have
been good friends with liquor, but at the
same time you have been in the habit OF
running it down, and that's why it's cast.
ing reflections at your nose.
A coon played me de meanest trick
you cher heard tell of. I fon' hole
whar de coon went into the groun' and
waited dar all day long to shoot dat coon
and when he did come out he was pole
cat.
The Freemason, of all mankind, should
be able to keep cool in the hottest Of
weather. According to the limitation;
of the order, he cannot get higher thar
thirty-three degrees, or just one above
freezing point.
Chicago girl while walking in the
suburbs became mired in the mud, anC
on yoke Of oxen pulling her out, boil
her shoes were left behind In the fa
hereafter should those shoes be found
the finders will doubtless exclaim ssThert
were giants in those days"
'John, did you go round and ask how
old Mrs. Jones was this morning, as
told you to do last night?" ssYes, sir,
ssWell what was the result?" ''She said
that seeing as how you had the impu
dence to ask how old she was, she'd nt
objection to telling you she was 74.''
A look of pain on his face, his body
twists in racking throes; tis surely 8
most dangerous case, and likely he turns
up his toes. What ails the poor boy lyin.
there? Why should he thus in pain be
crying? He mucilaged his grandpas's
chair, and that's what makes him thinl
of dying.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28
CRITICAL PERIODS OF LIFE.

From the age of forty to that of
sixty a man who properly regulates
himself may be considered in the
prime of life. His matured strength
of constitution renders him imperi-
Gus to the attacks of disease, and all
the functions are in the highest Or
der. Having gone a year or two
past sixty, however, he arrives at
critical period of existence the river
of death flows before him, and he re-
mains at Il standstll. ''The Turn Of
Life" which, if crossed in safety
leads to the valley "Old Age" round
which the river winds, and then flows
beyond without boat OF causeway
to effect its passage. The bridge is,
however, constituted of fragile ma
terials, and it depends on how it is
trodden whether it bends OF breaks.
Gout, apoplexy. and other bad char
acters, are also in the vicinity to way
lay the traveller and thrust him from
the pass; but let him gird up his
loins, provide himself with perfect
composure. To quote a metaphor,
the 'sturn of life," has turn either
into a prolonged walk or into the
grave. The system and power hav-
ing reached their utmost expansion,
now begin either to close like flow
ers at sunset or break down at once.
One injudicious stimulant, single
fatal excitement, may force it be-
yond its strength whilst careful
supply of props at the withdrawal of
all that tends to force plant, will
sustain it in beauty and vigor until
night has nearly set in.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28
HONEYMOoNINa ON THE CARS
AND IN TUNNELS.

a pewly-marrled couple were en-
route to Washington by the Balti-
more and Ohio railroad. There are
many tunnels on this road on the
other side of the Ohio river. All
through Ohio the face of the young
man wore occasional looks of pain,
despite his great joy. He seemed to
want something. Apparently he
yearned.
Over in West Virginia the train
entered tunnel. Upon emerging
into the light, the young mans face
was seen to wear studious express
sion. He was thinking. At first he
seemed perplexed, then interested,
then triumphant. He had had
revelation. Then he smiled with a
firm, manly, continuous smile, and
his eyes peered ahead for the first
sign of a yawning cavern in the
mountain side.
The bride was happy and demure.
Whish-shadow = rumble = dark
nes The veil is drawn. 1t is an
other tunnel. Light again, and the
young man looks happier than ever.
The brides cheek disports gentle
blush-a modest, experienced blush,
discoverable only to the initiated and
envious. No perplexity, no anxiety
now. The revelation has been test
ed and found success.
There are many tunnels, but not
enough. If the whole line were a
tunnel, the bride and groom would
not care how slow the train pro-
ceeded.
The man who has not lived to
bless the builder of tunnels does not
know what happiness is. He is but
little above the brute, which never
troubled the Creator for passing
clouds over the moon on singing
school nights.
But our bridegroom was not one
of these parties. He appreciated all
the blessings which man and nature
had bestowed upon him. He did
not miss tunnel.
But all things must have an end.
Daylight always comes to the newly
married. Strawberries and cream
must be paid for at the cashiers
desk. Within the blissful cucumber
hides a microbe. Our young hus-
band goes for drink of water.
While on this errand his eager eye
catches signs of another tunnel.
Of course he fears his birdie will
be sore afraid if left alone in the
darkness. and he hastens to her side.
Quick moves his feet, faster moves
the train. Darkness gathers while
he is yet half-a-dozen seats away.
But the brave man does not falter.
He gropes along; he reaches his
seat Cor thinks he reaches IT'D and
slides into it. Deep are the shad-
Ows, and loud huns the train.
A scream, long and vigorous-a
sound of scuffiing-a thump or two
and the bright light of May day
breaks upon the scene. The young
husband frantically endeavors to
disengage himself from the grasp of
an angry colored woman sitting in
the seat just behind his bride. He
| at length succeeds, and retires sui
! lenly to his seat, wiping his mouth,
and occasionally splitting upon the
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28

floor as if he had bitten through
worm in fig.
The tunnels come and 90, but
their shadows are scarcely deeper
than those upon the face of the
young honeymoon.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28
A WORTHY OLD CUSTOM.

A beautiful old custom was once
In vogue in Switzerland, which could
be turned to valuable account in this
country if generally adopted. When
child was born, fruit tree was
planted at some place along the
highway. the fruit of which was al
ways free to the passer-by. The
pride of the parent would always be
to plant a choice specimen of its
kind, and 50 highly esteemed was
this custom, that no one would in
jure the tree in any respect, but rath-
er, if possible, promote its growth.
The child, when of sufficient age,
would feel pride in nursing the
tree, and also, realizing its owner
ship, feel identified with the country
and mbibed from it's earliest recol-
lection a spirit of patriotism. If it
is more blessed to give than to re-
ceive, then there can be no simpler
OF easier way to bring the child ear
lier into possession of this blessed
ness than by such gift of fruit
which may be as acceptable at least
to the wayfarers as a cup of cold
water to a thirsty traveller.
The custom of tree-planting might
be carried much farther and only
profitable results follow. A line of
shade trees along the lane-and
where is there farm without lane?
adds immensely to the homelike
appearance of the farm, making it a
pleasant and comfortable summers
drive for young and old. and why
may not those trees be fruit trees
Cherry, mulberry and peach, with
elm, walnut and maple alternated,
blending their foliage and their
health-giving fruits for mans pleas
ure and benefit. One of the ways of
keeping children at home is by MAX
ing home pleasant, and nothing adds
so much to the pleasantness as to
have shady walks lined with flowers
to greet the eye and the songs of
birds to greet the ear. The trees
and flowers we must supply, and in
SO doing we induce the birds to come
| and abide with us.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28

known until suggested by Miss Car
roll, who alone had the genius to
grasp the situation. On the 30th of
November, 1861, Miss Carroll laid
her plan with accompanying maps
and diagrams, before the war depart
ment, saw it speedily adopted, its
details carried out in accordance with
her suggestions. She lived to see it
crowned with glorious success
On the 10th of April, 1862, four
months after the adoption of her plan,
President Lincoln issued a proclama-
tion thanking Almighty God for the
signal victories which had saved the
country from foreign Intervention
and invasion. Truly the Lord has
delivered us, and His chosen instru-
ment has been Anna Ella Carroll of
Maryland Womon's Journal.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28

CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CAsEs.-Not
long ago as an elderly couple were
out walking, lady on the opposite
side of the street tripped and fell
down. The old gentleman rushed
across the street, raised his hat, and
offered to assist her in any possible
way. His wife followed him across
at slow pace, and Witnessing his
devotion to the stranger she got mad
and shook her fist at him. ''It's all
right-it's all right he whispered.
"Yes, / know it is" she hotly ex-
claimed; sshere an unknown woman
hurts her toe, and you plow across
the street to eat her up with kind
ness. The other day, when | fell
down stairs, you stood and laughed,
and wanted to know if 1 was prac-
ticing for a circus"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28
A Girls Retrospect.

The summer is over. The season
Was cold at the seaside, you know;
This weather perhaps was the reason
That none of us captured beau.
For the men found it cool in the city,
And the brokers were blue, it was thought,
So we lost every chance (what pityD,
And no dashing fellow caught.
So Maud and Madola and Lille,
Viola, Narcissa and l,
Were left in the shade Gam silly?)
To wait till next year-and to sigh.
For nothing is done in the winter
In town, with gay talk and fine clothes;
No beau says, "NIy dear Araminta,"
And none is betrayed to propose.
But when you walk out by the water,
And moonlight falls soft on the shore,
The primmest mammals plainest daughter
Some masculine heart will adore.
hope if we go there next season,
We girls, by halfdozens and twelves,
Will not again need, in all reason,
To just simply waltz with ourselves.
Of girls who were blushing and twenty,
With some who were near twenty
There always were more than plenty,
And yet not man would arrive.
How wearily all the long summer
We wandered by sea-shore and tide,
And found no available conner
bridegroom, perhaps, avith his bride!
We would stroll to the depot and steamer
To see hat was rarer than pearls.
Each one deliberate schemer,
And 10, a new bevy of girls
The coats and the hats were all wanting,
No garment bifurcate was seen,
And some gray-headed old maids were taunting
Us of it Il thought it was mean).
Another such year would be awful,
For what are fine feathers and clothes,
If fate is to make it unlawful
For girls to be furnished with beaus.
The summer has vanished and faded;
The forests are withered and sere;
No lover our heart has invaded
'Tis horrid to wait a whole year!
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28
The Old Home.

"Return, RETURN" the voices cried,
''To your old valley, far away;
For softly ON the river-tide
The tender lights and shadows play;
And all the banks are gay with flowers,
And all the hills are sweet with thyme;
Ye cannot find such bloom as ours
In yon bright foreign clime!
Aud still "Return, RETURN" they sung,
"Wlth us abides eternal calm;
In these old fields, where you were young,
We Gull the hearts-ease and the balm;
For us the hocks and herds increase,
And children play around our feet;
At eve the sun goes down in peace;
Return, for rest is SWEET
For me, L thought, the olives grow,
The sun lies warm upon the vines;
And yet will arise and go
To that dear valley dim with pinesl
Old loves dwelling there, said,
Untouched by years of change and pain;
Old faiths, that have counted dead,
Shall rise, and live again.
Then l arose and crossed the sea,
And sought that home of younger days:
No love of old was left to me
(For love has wings, and seldom stays);
But there were graves upon the hill,
And sunbeams shining on the sod,
And low winds breathing, ''Peace, be still!
Lost things are found in God"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28
You Can
Find Everything

In shape of Garment, Style, and Pat
tern of cloth, and sizes to fit all shapes
and forms from the old gentlemen S frock
suit to the ''tirst pants" All goods
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28
Comprised In

Our stock were bought for Cash at
hard times prices, which will enable us
to give customers good value for their
money.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28

Chicago negro stabbed wooden to-
bacco sign, believing it to be alive, and,
on being arraigned in court next morning,
swore that the figure had called him in
Sulting names.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28
s--------- >~-
TWO YEARS AGO.

1 sight to behold and was unable to enjoy life
at all. Now / the picture of health and can eat
anything. What did it? Sulphur Bitters cured me
of Dyspepsia and Liver Complaint, after suffering
two years.-W. II. Bowman, Manchester, N. II.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-09-28

Can you let disease strengthen in your system
when afflicted and not seek relief? for all forms of
Heart Disease, organic sympathetic, DIR. Graves
Heart Regulator is a cure; been before the public
thirty years. $1.00 per bottle.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1885-01-08
Dynamite.

Il see by the latest dispatches that
there has been an outbreak, and the
English authorities are very much a
Harmed about it, remarked a reporter
who called on Mr.. O'Donovan Rossa
at his cozy little Office in New York.
I've not seen anything about it yit
in the papers, said Mr.. Rosa; but |
could hrve told We of that long ago, if
/ only had moind. The outbreak
was planned right here, bedad, in this
office, by meself and few more Oirish
pathriots.
The outbreak is in India
'Av coorse. Among the down trod,
den natives of India
AT Madras observed the reporter
Right yez are agin.'
1T is believed that it will spread
I'll see to that meself.'
1T is an outbreak of cholera re-
marked the reporter, as he passed out
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1885-01-08
The Carman's Smart Horse.

A gentleman travelling through
Ireland with very stout companion
had occasion to hire a jaunting-car,
and, having agreed with the driver
for half a crown, stepped back to the
inn where be was staying and called
his fat friend. The driver, as soon as
he caught glimpse of the enormous
dimensions of his fare walked up to
the head of his horse, and holding up
the tatteled lappets of q worn-out
jacket, said Whist, sir, get up as
lightly as ye can, will YEP What, is
your beast skittish p asked the gentle
man. No, sir, said Pat, with an in
imitably shrewd leer, but if he saw
the big gentleman he'd most likely say,
Whist, Pat, but it ought to be five
shillings.'
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1885-01-08
The Fly Screen Agent.

He had six fly screens under his arm.
and was talking to mao in front of a
house on Hastings street.
Il am Offering these at fifty per cent.
below their cash value he explained,
because want to get out of town..
'Vhell, it vhas soon coming winter,
UNI l like to know. howsome flies come
aroundt den p the man answered.
That's true enough, my friend, but
/ the fly question is not the only thing.
These screens save twenty-five per cent.
in fuel
'Vhell -
They give an air of refinement to the
house,
'Vhell p
Il don't say that they keep out chole-
| IA altogether, but you can't point to n
house in Detroit provided with them
which has had case of cholera
'Vhell, dot vhas So
In buvlng them you help Il POOR man
to reach the bedside of his dying wife
in Buffalo,
Yes
you add at least 500 to the valne of
your place
| Yes
They are not burglar alarm, but
when Il burglar finds them in the win
dows he turns away discouraged
DOT yhas good
The air which enters your house is
strained, as it were, and must therefore
be free of chips, gravel, sand, dust and
other substances deleterious to health.
Il see.'
'And you will take 'em p
'My frendt, vhas dose fly screens like
a watch dog p If some poys come in
der alley does dey raised big row und
let me know p
IF vhas in row nit my yhife does
does fly screens help me oudt p
'Of course not
| 'Wny, no; OF course not.
IF I come home in der night und der
front door yhas locked, und 1 can't get
in, does dose fly screens make it all
right p
No, sir-no sir. How can you eN-
pect any such things from fly screens p
'Vhell, 1 doan' know. l guess you
peter moot along to der next corner.
Eaferypody says l vhas sweet-temper-
ed und kind, but il a man
come along und impose on me und take
me for some greenhorns, let myself
oudt und knock him so far into next
Shanuary dot fly screens doan keep him
warm. '-Detron Free Press.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1885-01-08
ADVICE TO MOTHERS.

Are you disturbed at night and broken OF
your rest by sick child suffering and CRYING
with pain of cutting teeth? IL so, send at once
and get bottle of MRS. WINsLOw's SOOTHING
SYRUP FOR CHILDREN TKErHING. Its value, Is
incalculable: 1t will relieve the poor little suf-
ferer Immediately. Depend upon it, mothers,
there Is no mistake about it. Ii cures dysentery
and diarrh0ea, regulates the stomach and
bowels. cures wind collie, softens the gums, re
duces Inflammation, and gives tone and energy
to the whole system. MRS. WINsLow's SoOTH-
ING SYRUP FOR CHILDREN TEETHING is pleasant
40 the taste. and Is the prescription OF one of
she oldest and best female nurses and physic-
tins In the United States, and is for sale by all
druggists throughout the world. Price S5
cents bottle
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1885-01-08
Votes, Not Reports, Will Settle 1t

Votes, Not Reports, Will Settle 1t.
Chris Magee s Interview in Pittsburg Post.
How about Cameron p asked the
reporter.
He is WELL
What are his prospects p
Excellent
will there be fight p
None that know Of
Has he votes enough to elect?'
He has and some to spare
The reporta circulated are not re-
liable, then p
Reports have nothing to do with
this contest; it will be decided by
votes
rs Calvin Wells satisfied p
Calvin Welsh thoughtfully ejacu
lated Magee, studying for a moment.
He is not member ofthe Legislature
and has no VOTE
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1885-01-08

Call at the JOURNAL Store tor
choice Cards and Pictures,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-03-11
ST. PAULITEs AT THE CAPITAL.

Hall Wants Nothing, but Ahern, Robinson
and Others Do-Kelly Goes South.
Special to the Globe.
WASHINGTON, March 10.-Among the
Minnesota people in Washington now are r.
P. Hall and wife Of st. Paul, who are here
on a pleasure trip. Mr.. Hall says he does
not want an Office. ]. j. Thornton, who was
Mr.. Wakefeld's opponent in the last con-
gressional contest, is here. It is understood
be would like something at the hands of the
new administration, but so far his applica-
ton has not been filed. F. B. Chew of
Minneapolis is one of the blue-looking Dem
ocrats here. He wants to get on the govern
ment pay roll and is not at all pleased with
the present outlook, D. Heenan
of Morris, candidate for a
mission to Sweden, is here. His application
was filed at the state department yesterday.
He is hopeful that his name will be sent to
the senate within a few days. Hon. P. H.
Kelly of st. Paul and J. F. Meagher of Man
kato left here to-day for Florida. They will
take in Richmond, Charleston, and New Or
leans while South and return to Minnesota.
They are two of those who appear to be
pleased with the course the new administra-
ton has taken toward dealing out the patron
age. S. J. Ahern of st. Paul is here beam
ing. His friends say that he is an applicant
for recognition, and that the consulship at
Cork, Ireland, would about fit him. Gen.
Rosser and Gen. Allen are also here
waiting to see which way the cat jumps.
D. A. Robinson of st. Paul is anxious to
represent Uncle Sam in France. Whether he
wants to be minister or take good consulship
has not been developed. There are several
applicants the place held by Sixth Au-
ditor Crowell, who is Minnesotan, who
came here in Senator Ramsey's time.
Capt 7. r. Huddleston OF st. Paul, coun-
sellor at law, was to-day, on motion Of Ex-
United States Senator Angus Cameron of
Wisconsin, admitted to practice in the
supreme court of the United States.