Madison times., 1885-04-11
FREAKS.
The Odd Specimens OF Humanity That
Go TO Make a World.

OuO specimens Ot
Go TO Make a World.
"The advent of the dime museum has
wrought sad havoc with the literary pro-
ductions Of the public school children OF
Philadelphia. and | think something
ought to be done to rescue the rising
generation from their baleful influence,
for should things go on at the present
rate the youngsters will soon become
hopelessly contaminated with an indel-
i3le affection for freaks and monstrosities
to the utter exclusion of these legitimate
sights and objects Of interest which the
city affords them"
The above remarks were made by the
principal of one of the largest public
schools in Philadelphia, and as he spoke
he turned tC his desk, and, opening a
drawer, produced dozen or more Oft the
compositions" which his young charges
had handed in in response to the period
ical call for essays.
"Now, before the dime museums were
established, when asked the children to
write compositions on something that
they had seen," continued the principal,
"they would bring in stories about visits
to the State House, or Girard College, or
the Mint, or the park, or any of the score
of other show places of the city, or of
their trips to the seashore and country ;
but nowadays those subjects are very
seldom touched, while both the boys ana
the girls appear to take the greatest de-
light in describing the wonders they have
witnessed at the recent shows. Listen
to this, for instance, which was written
by little girl:
"'Not very long ago l went with my
brother and cousin from Camden to see
the fat lady at the dime museum. She
was twice as big as both of my grand
mothers put together, and they are big
ger than most anybody / ever saw, ex
cept in cirons. She was not very beau
tiful, but her diamonds were Just ex-
quisite, and my brother said they were
worth over 81 ,OOO,OOO.'
"Now hear this from the brilliant pen
of a small boy:
"The people who live in Afghanistan
are called Afghans, and they are more to
be dreaded than the red devils of the
boundless plains. Afghanistan is out
near China. Some of the Afghans were
them. They had black skin and beards
and their weapons we're very sharp.
The man what told us about them said
they were as brave as Tons and fierce as
the hungry tigers of the tropic zone. l
also saw the camel girl. She was white.
She can carry over gallon of water in
her tanS at one time, and don't get
thirsty very often. Real camels are
called ships of the desert. Johnson AMI
Jones who did a song-and dance act,
were awful funny
81 could give vou dozens of such in
stances of VIII At complain of; and all
these which have here are about simi-
lar subjects. Just let me read you one
more specimen. 1t was handed in as the
CON bined effort of two little boys who
said that both had written half:
:" If you can get 10 cents why take in
the dime museum. 1t opens at 10 o'clock
on Saturdays, but We went on Christmas,
in the afternoon. There was the biggest
crowd we was ever in, except at the BIZ
centennial, and the night uncle James
took US to see the fireworks the summer
before last. The phantom lady was thin
ner than Skinny Thompson that was at
is dead now by being run over at Elev-
enth and FitZwater streets by beer way-
gon. The Wild men of Borneo was
frauds. We could have licked 'em our
self, and don't believe they ever tore
sailors all up like they are doing in the
picture in the book Billy bought for 5
cents. We spent the other cents for
two sourbslls and three ginger cakes, and
gave one of the ginger cakes to the two
healed calf. The tattOoed Pirate of
Madagascar was all streaked over with
blue and red. 1t would be nice if the
dime museums would sell children three
tickets for a quarter
"You can easily see that what l say is
true" concluded the principal, as he
SIGHED and put the compositions" back
in his desk. "Other specimens l have
are equally Original, and those have
selected are by no means the most abb
surd."
Several public school teachers, who
have since been spoken to on the sub
ject make the same complaint, and it is
not improbable that an edict will be is
sued against essays on freaks" Phila.
delphia Record.