Omaha daily bee., 1885-01-01

tickets The young woman rolled ovei
iowa dis me and said halo, bulb! anc
handed me a ioll about rs big as o wad OF
chewing tobacco, done up in tissue PAPER.
! told her it was two dolla s, and she saiC
that wa all right. | was n little bit
taken back, thinking may he she had
given me all Of her money to keep for her
till morning. ] unrollcd the paper, and
what do You think it was2'
Clair switch" said the sad conductor.
Cotton batting" said the conductor
with the bad eye.
"Naw," said the big conductor. "You
are all wrong. 1t was n package of GO
phcr tails, forty in all. Tails Of these
little gophers the boys used to drown out
by pouring water in the holes. | looked
at them and rolled them up and opened
the curtain, and | told her she had given
me the wrong roll. l told her this com
pany was hard up, and all that, and found
it difficult to pay n dividend, but it was
going to try to pull through till the first
of January without taking any gopher
tails, and said something about 81. She
was lying on the pillow with her face
within four inches of mine, and she whis'
pered, "Look-a.here, l have been out in
Dakota visiting, and out there counties
pay n premium on gophers, the same as
they do here on wolves, and they take the
tails as evidence, and in the scarcity of
small change the gopher tails are used for
currency. In trading at the stores there
l got a large quantity of these tails, and
got rid Of them all except forty, which, at
a nickle apiece, is just 81, and l
made up my mind to pass them off on
in your pocket and turn them over to the
general Office as a sample of the currency
out in Dakota, and close the curtains. /
tried to reason with her. l told her 90
pher tails were not money, and that If ]
took them to the Office they would give
me tn. laugh, and l must have money.
She sad if [ did not 60 right away from
her berth and not bother her any more
she would scream and wake up everybody
on the train, and the passengers would
lynch me, and she got ready to scream.
Well, | was pa'alyzed. ! had been talk
ing with her too long, anyway, and you
all know how it would be if n woman
should scream at 3 o'clock in the morning,
in n sleeper, and forty passengers should
put their heads out of the curtains and
find n conductor with his head in the
woman's berth, They would all think he
was a bold, bad man. So 1 took my
gopher tails in one hand and my lanternin
the other and went out in the baggage
car. l thought it over and concluded to
wait till morning and speak to her after
she got up. We gos breakfast at Portage
and she was just the neatest ever was.
After we started from Portage l went in
and sat down opposite her and began to
talk about the weather, asked if she
rested well, and she said, Beg pardon
but / ! believe there is nothing further to
be said. l paid yon my fare,' and she
turned and looked out of the window.
Well, l { didn't want to pull the handful of
gopher tails out of my pocket and show
them up, and call the attention of all the
passengers, because | felt as though she
would get on her dignity and say l was a
lmnatic, and the passengers would all be-
lieve it. 30 | got up and walked out,
and when l left the train, as it pulled out
for Chicago she waved her handkerchief at
me and smiled. Think she is the slickest
confidence operator l ever saw"