The Indianapolis journal., 1885-06-14
rHE YANITY oF MES.
Eight Out of Every Ten Running Around
with Mirrors in Their Pockets.

Eight Out of Every Ten Running Around
with Mirrors in Their Pockets.
San Francisco Daily Alta.
who buys thenr asked reporter in q
Kearney street motion" shop, pointing to a lot
of tiny pocket mirrors, with nailcleaners, tooth
pick and comb, all complete.
II suppose you think the ladies are best
customers said the notion man, "but it is
not Men, sir-vain men-are the pickers-up
of these uneonsidered trifes"
pretty menln inquired the reporter.
The salesman grinned. 1T don't matter much
how they look, he sad whether they are apes
or Apollos; tney want a pocket mirror all the
same They retire every hour or so to some
secret place to admire themselves. Talk of the
vanity of women! Indeed! Itpales, sir; it fades
away into iRsignifcance by comparison with the
admiration the majority of men have for
their own mugs
course, but for individual satisfaction-the
names of some of these purchasers!n
The notion man looked grave. II could not
give away the secrets of my prison house, he
.map, and in the present regard hold the con-
fidence these gentlemen have reposed in me
as sacred. Why, there some half dozen
who. entertaining great respect for my critical
Judgment of physical beauty. stop in here
every day to inquire how they are look
ing. Then it is, Am / pale to-day, Jimp
or DO you think my color is too high
JimF or That left eyebrow is growing a trife
heavy; don't You think I'd better have it
trimmed off bit2 If I say your color is too
high my friend is off to the barber's for dab
of powder, or-but this is a dead secret-we
accommodate him in this shop If he is too
pale we tinge him up. It's wonderful, positively
wonderful Now, the ugest men are the
toughest 1t there is the slightest blemish in
pocket mirror, they won't take it, because, for
sooth, it may not faithfully produce their bright
pearl beauty"
But there are different degrees of vanity
among these male beauties are there not2"
mo. sir; there is but one degree, and that is
the superlative, but there are different degrees
of candor. Some are modest and will declare
that their moustaches or beard are always get
ting tangled Now, there's good looking
blonde railroad agent Montgomery street
who bought six by four mirror from me the
other day, which he keeps in his breast pocket.
Ee is glutton about his personal beauty, he is;
but real estate man, fair, stout young per-
sou, whose Office is near him. has found out
that he has this glass and begs the loan of it a
dozen times day.
"Then. as matter of fact, you have more
customers among gentlemen for these pretty
little articles than among the other sexW
''Five to one, sir, the percentage Of those who
carry pocket mirrors is small ameng ladies, but
eight out of every dozen men have one slowed
away in the vest pocket Why" continued the
notion man. some big, smirking fell6ws-busi
ness men-have come in here and asked me if
could teach them how to blush. Just think of it.
Fellows in the forties, sir, who have not known
blush for twenty years. Believe it would be
becoming to them if they could flush up like
moss rose when girl glances at them. The
ancient rounder got hold of the secret and made
all the rest hopping mad to learn it. You won't
give it away? Well, when he wanted to blush
he'd jab pin into his leg and keep his mouth
shut
''What did the mouth have to do with it?n
Because the pin would make him feel like
swearing and keeping back the blasphemy was
the effort that suffused his cheek. That's the
true business s'help me- Do you want to look
at any nice poeketcombs to-dayg No. Then
excuse me, for here's dude that does" and the
philosopher resumed his professional air and ad-
vanced on the customer with interlaced fngsrs
and captivating SMILE