The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1885-01-17
THE MILWAUKEE, BAD BOY.
From Peck's Sun.

'What is it about your pa and ma hay
ing 4 scrapping match in car at the de-
pot the other day ?" said tho groceryman
to the bad boy, as he showed up with
MS market basket one morning. Tho
man at the depot who signs out for trains
says your pa tried to kiss an old maid.
and she scratched him, and then YOUR
ma jawsd him, and he jumped off the car
and let your ma go on to Chicago. Your
pa must be an old heather, " and the gro
ceryman took knife and began to whit
tie the lead out Of the bottom of a two.
pound weight.
swell, you would dide if you had
been there, said the bad boy, as he cut
off piece of sausage and began to I'm.
button its overcoat with u knife. "You
see ma was going to Chicago to buy some
cheap comforters for beds, cause she
read in paper that comforte1s that had
been in q fire, and was watersoaked and
smelled frowsy, could be bought at your
own price, and she said they were good
enough for boarders. 1 and pa went
down to the depot to see her off. We
went in the car and got ma a seat, and
pa went out to get mas valise checked.
thought pa would come back Just about
the time the tain started, so | told ma
she better take seat way back in the
stern of the car, cause it would be out
of the draft, and just as she got up to
| change an old maid about hundred
years old came in the car with basket
and lot OF things, and said, Madame,
you can have this seat, and she thanked
me and squatted down in is. Honest. 7
hope to die if thought pa would come
IN and hug the old maid, but pa is getting
kind Of highs sighted, and when he showed
up IN the door of the car my heart thump-
cd so l could hear it. He was walking
up to the old maid and looking smiling.
and ma said, You better 60 and tell your
pa that have changed my seat and I
started to tell pa, but l didn't hurry.
Don't you know boy sometimes fingers
when no ought to be quite sudden. Pa
says he can see just as we'll as he ever
could, and | knew darn site better. He
gets mad every time any of us tells him
he is losing his eye sight and when I
saw him going up to that centennial
female, looking as though he had known
her ever since the war, thought it
won Id ha q rnnl tipoa 10
pa that his eyes were little off. O but
didn't she look sassy at him when no
said, Here's check l got for you 30
you wouldn't get lost Just then the
conductor shouted all aboard, and pa
took hold Of the strange woman bv both
sides OF her head and pulled her mouth
round and said, Come back at s 10 to
your own chick u bddy,' and then be
smacked her SO that people in the car all
heard it. Honest, the conductor outside.
heard it and thought it was the air brake
busted. Well, l don't know how til
woman hit pa but it seemed as thougl :
she must have rared right up and kicke
him with four feet, cause he went n /.
nearly to the bell-rope and yelled sou
that and the old girl screamed for IL
police, and pa saw me and said. Where
your mar?' and told him she was ba, .,
there, and he said, Who's been moviI :
her, and then ma she begrn to get ma
and when pa came up she did give b >.
fits. She called him a lysenshus
kazoo, and free lover and a Norm
and he said she had no business to h. :
moved. He said when man sat his
wife down in seat it was her DUTY to
remain steadfast there or thsreabouts.
or nobody was safe, and our liberties
were in danger. Ma kride and said pa
was great burden to bare, but she give
him her handkerchief to wipe some blood
OFT his nose, where his mash scratched
him. The conductor came in when the
woman screamed, and she pointed to pa
and said he had tried to rob her. and the
conductor told pa to get off, and he bid
ma goodbye coldly and we went out,
Well, | like to dido afore we got to the
street car, and pa was looking peculiar,
like when he is thinking. and l thought
| ought to say something, SO after had
paid tho fare in the street car sat down
by pa aud l said, Pa, yon amt much of
Judge of wimmen. If you wanted to
kiss stranger there was girl two
seats back of that old maid as pretty az
picter'. Pa kept chewing his gum real
fast, the way he always does when he is
mad, and he said, You hush up! and
then after little while he said to me,
Look here, young man, if iird you
got your ma to change seats with that old
pair of human clothes bars, just to play
a joke on me, it is going to go mighty
hard with YOU condum you l looked
hurt, and I asked pa if ] looked like
boy that would deliberately steer his pa
into the jaws of death Just for fun, and
he said it didn't seem as though l would
but it looked a good deal like it. l told
him when a mans eyesight began to fail
he couldn't be too careful about kissing
proniscuously around in coach, and he
said his eyesisht was just as good as ever
He said if be had looked at the woman
lie could have told the difference, but he
just took it for granted ma was where he
left her. And then he found his Land
was bleeding, and he said there ought to
be a law against women wearing daggers
in their hair"
"How did they fix it up when your ma
got home % asked the groceryman.
"'Taint fixed sp yet" said the boy, as
he took Hp his basket to go home. ma
has Tried for two days to corral pa, and
get an explanation, but he is out every
day, and till late into the night, getting
his outfit to 60 South with me. He has
borrowed two Winchester rifles and has
got several revolvers. Pa thinks he has
got to fight his way through tho South
just as Sherman did when be went to
the sea- The only way pa can realize
that the war is over is to 60 down there,
and if l don't make him ashamed of his
opinion Of the people of the South before
he comes back, aud make him own up
that they are the most peaceable and hos
pitable peopis on earth, then my name
isn't Hennery. There's nothing catches
pa like hospitality. He had rather be
,oboIv-c Ynact W.,