Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1885-11-12
naRn AND rnrRs.

/
If the King of Greece could see hi
, wood.out face in the Chattanooga Time
and other enterprising journals, he woult
regret that he ever stirred up a revolution
and came into public notice.-Neu
Orleans Picdyune.
, | Some time ago directions were given il
the Transcript for the prevention o.
hearing disagreeable noises by plugging
the ears. Will some one be kind enough
,, to repeat the directions p Correspondent,
Boston Transcript.
"Eh, doctor" said baillie of small
| Scotch town to friend, he maun In,
been an extraordinary man, that Shakes
peare. There are things hae come int
! his head that never would hne come into
mine at a." ESchangs.
Montana and Dakota combined woult
} form domain larger in extent than all o.
J the United States from the 81. LAwrenc,
TO North Carolina, and from the Alleghe
MES TO the Atlantic. Custer county, Mon
tana, alone is larger in area than the
whole State Of Pennsylvania.
The great dailies of New York are
initiating the example of rural weeklies
by printing cheap woodcuts Next thing
| We hhoN bhcy Will huOll ulOIueT lthtufe
of the country press, and offer TO take
cord wood and potatoes in payment for
subscriptions. N01Tist0Dn Herald.
81 should think Pope Leo XIII. would
be very unhappy man ?" said DIR. Soon
over, who is Texas humorist. "Why
so 2" asked Judge Pennybunker. II
should think he would be troubled with
dreadful forebodings2" continued the
doctor. "Why so ?" Because, he can
never sit down to the table without being
the thirteenth, Leo Kill, see ?"-Ierds
SJIiR9s.
/ Apples lost our first parents their home
in Eden, and brought on the Tojan war,
and started the gravitation theory. But
their greatest exploit has Just occurred i'll
Willilnantic, the Chronicle of which town
says: civilian II. Fenner lost COW
lately by eating too many apples" How
MIR. Fenner's consumption of apples
should have killed COW is mystery.-
Boston Transcript.
II was Sabbath morning in the early
autumn, and the sexton met him in the
vestibule of the sanctuary. "You appear
to be stranger, sir shall / show you n
seat? Would you like to go down 'front.'"
"Down front, is il 2 l should rather say l
did! Lam the regularly ordained pastor of
this church, and can find the pulpit
myself" "IIe's got better memory than
| have" was all the sexton said rs he
turned away.-L0aoeH Citizen.
In Germany printed formula on the
postal cards reads us follows: tOnly q
few lines to-day" Then n space is left
for the written message, after which the
following printed formula is added :
"God be thanked. l am in good health
and hope to hear that you arc also. The
weather is -; write soon, and give my
love to all. In haste" This is all very
convenient, but suppose the writer doesn't
care about thanking God ON postaI
card, or suppose he isn't in good health
what good would the postal card do him
A student at the University of Texas il
much addicted to writing verses. Not lonl
since Gilhooly said to the young man
you seem to be low-spirited to-day
"Yes, and have good cause for it.
proposed to Miss Fanny Blinker, and sht
rejected me-" "Did she give any reason?'
asked Gilhooly. Eyes, she said sh,
( would never marry poet" swell, per
. haps she has never read any of YOU
r poetry. Send her one of your poems ant
that will convince her that her suspicion
are unfounded. l can't imagine how til
q rumor got out that you were poet."-
i Teas SJyiags.
There can be no doubt about Budden
+ siek's guilt. He has been tried and cor
v yicted, but having money. he is able :
o stand off justice and get a now trial. A
II the proof is overwhelming against him
}, perhaps he wants n new trial for the sam
! reason that Texas criminal wants one
) "Nou were seen by dozens of men I
J. commit the, murder what defense hay
! you got ?" "Thats precisely what
want now trial for, so that l can fin
out, " replied the guilty party. Builder
sick has probably some curiosity to kno
what defense he has got.--Ieras Sitting
A delightful commission Young MI
Smythe was passionately enamored @
Miss Browne, and was squirming in hi
/, chair preparatory to proposal when til
d young lady said MIR. Smythe, yo
pass Mr.. Thinplate, the jewelers., o
your way home, do You not?" "Yes,
he said, huskily "Well, would 70
= mind doing me little favor ?" s'NIind
" dear Miss Browne" he replied, with
look of unutterable reproach "you ha,
but TO name it," "Thanks! Will yo
kindly ask Mr.. Thinplato if he has tigh
ened the setting of my engagement rim
which Mr.. George Simpson left with hiI
10 yesterday 2'-Ha,per'S Basar.
Frank Brewer, n favorite negro mil
strel of olden time, walked into the ba
room of the Metropolitan one nornin,
N dusty and unkempt from long journe,
and asked for glass of brandy. III
Il, barkeeper handed out the brand,
and then, suspicious of Franks appea
ance, said, "Just pay for that before yC
drink it, will you?' Frank, who was
!, well-known in New York as any mt
about town, looked up, astonished, al
stammered, "W-w-what ?" 'Just pay +,
,e that brandy before you drink it," repeatt
the bartender. "w-w-why," said Fran
leaning contidentially across the counte
ne sis it so im-m-mediately f-f-fatal in i
effect S"-NeaO York Citizen.
Life in Boston.-At n recent visit to 4
nj intelligence Office, according to the Bo
ton Budget the following fare few
en- the questions TINT were asked: Hn,
you set tubs? Is there n carpet on u
girls roomS How many cuffs do yc
have in the wash Il week Do you get Il
and get the breakfast on washing days
es Do you do all the cooking except boili1
the potatoes! DO you let the girls 90 o.
all day Sunday and four nights weeh
do you send the masters shirts and yol
own white skirts to the laundry? Do yC
send all the children to boarding-scho
i'll the winter and into the country for d
Whole of the summer Do You have
man TO look after the furnace?' But wi
go onp The list of questions might
easily extended 80 tlInt il would fill Ill
column"
AT n meeting not long since, compos,
of representatives Of all parties, b
especially liberal of the Irish and color,
element, call was made fora nominate,
for an office. The name of Geor
Walker, well-known colOrod man, W
promptly voted down. 81 nomina
Vi, Terence Mcbride shouted voice in d
audience. The announcement of Ii
name was followed by applause, the va
SO, taken and Mr.. Mcbride declared elect
'rS by a handsome majority. This deelarati
was followed by cheers and demand (
Mcbride to show himself, when man
the blackest description and most pl
|, nounced African type assembled the oil
form. Take away the nagur; sure
Mcbride we're calm for" shouted I
audience. "Gentlemen," said the cha
man, ~ have the pleasure of present.
to you Mr.. Mcbride, whom you ha
nse just elected" &c. There was a howl
bic disappointment on one side, mingled wi
,ut, cheers and laughter on the other, NIL &C
lis lis eerned realizing that there is somethi
in name after all.-BOSt0R Commerce
Bulletin.