The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-02-07

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files some exceptions, rs follows; "In last
weeks Arg,,s you made me say the hay
crop is moving forward / was afraid
had said hog but Of course if did you
knew better and changed it. Thank you
Hay is right, and the crop Of this cereal i,
simply immense; when this goes forward
presto' there are no hard times AS L
hogs, We have none. Everybody is gen
tIeman, except when nature interiercs e
vary the rule, and then, they are ladies"
\ Streator paper advertised for - boy al
- cents week, and the next mail brought
in o. replies. Some of them were careful
ly worded, and in photography, grammar
and punctuation were an fat, 80 to speak
but the following characteristic and origi
nal epis,lc secured for is author the coyet
ed lucrative position; ii mead the Job dam
bad my ioaks is not ritch and hey got ter
hussel They are ded 1t beetS hel how hard
times is am Il and kin do chores and
milk you're COWS | look good with new
close on would like a good phase in you're
! oils kin Tern fast"
The editors Of two Princeton papers-
the Ne,'s and the TriJnnc--are Just now in
u warm personal fight concerning the pro,
pricty Of using the term "assimilate" for
"simulatc,' In their researches they have
dug up Al! the ancient authorities or Sy no
nym, in the vicinity Of Princeton, and are
everlas,ingly knocking the stufiing ont of
each other with cold hlooded facts and biz
words. They have been churning the
Queens English "ith the violence of a
Pile driver and the tragmentary drippings
'front.' his literary spray have almost deluged
the city with orphaned adiectiyes, widowed
nouns and pronouns, divorced adyerbs and
mutilated phrases. Wade in, Mercer; the
gossipper'll hold your bonnet; and cursed
be who first cries, Hold, enough"
Two CelestiNls named fon Lee and
Hop "ah have started - laundry in La
Sale They formerly lived at kankakee.
where they We're noted Is swell Cinnamon
They dressed in the height of fashion;
were invited 70 champagne suppers; in.
stead OF opium, they drank cock tails mint
juleps and tom and. jerry; were great favor
ties with the boys blinked at the pretty
girls out Of their little brown eyes, and
played poker, "allce samee, Mclean mar"
Hearing that NEGRO or Chinanan would |
not De permitted 70 live in Ia Sale, they
made inquiries Of Mayor Welch, and were
informed that they could live there AS long
as they behaved themselves, and that no |
body would molost them. As yet no Ne
gro has ever attempted 20 make tina, CITY
his abiding place. But this prejudice has
no. been exhibited TO John Chinaman, and
1 is no, n 81 unlikely that soma fair La
sale bellies may TALL in love with Hop
Yah and ion Lee and their long ebony
queues before The year is over.
::
OConOr, OF the La Sale Times, has the
disease in is most malignant form. Like
he boy sucking molas-e- candy, he is
moared 81 over with il, At last, love
,entie, enamorcd, beautiful lore-has taken
'os>ess!on Of the pericariium and hia hear.
'eats joyoUsly under the soothing influence
# his maiden stack. Hear him COO: "As
; well known throughout the county, aye,
throughout the world 81 far az we know,
"a Sale ladies, old and young, arc noted |
or their grace and beauty, their rosy faces '
licked out with dimples in which nestle
he LOVES and graces which Socap,iva'e us.o
,
The GoS-iper has compiled a short set Of :
complimentary phrases, some Of them I
and time-worn, but all in good
ondition and warranted 10 reach the
,ughest spot in humsn nature. An editor $
'ho Uses these phrases with discretion and
can bring dowH his game at 200 d
ards. A paper published near the Bureau &
)unty line has been using these express v
ons for some years past without paying =.
ny royalty thereon, and il such wholesale
artery is persisted in, prosecution for in L
'ingement OF copyright will follow Here II
-e tew samples: The estimab!e wife }
T, &c.--He leaves large circle Of friends
al relatives ~ mourn hi whereahouts- r
he handsome and accomplished daughter ?
:, &c.-The widely esteemed and highly q
opular, &c.-A lady of refined taste and n
raced with the beatty Of many social 81
Stands high in The estimation
the public.-FillS iong.lelt want--An :,
n0ment TO society.-A bright little sun.
.am, the pride OF fond mother and the d