The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-07-10
Pith and PNMD~>

The man who fails for million dol
lars must command respect.
New York has received as many as
1, 100000 bananas per day. That Is as
good as 500,00 slip-ups.
Perry Davis is an inmate of west
ern county house. but of an eastern
tomb which cost $4,000.
1t may do for theologians to call it
"Sheol," but the old term is good
enough for most of us in the usual
daily walks of life.
No sooner did a real Boston girl re-
move to Chicago to reside than she
dated her letters from "Chicago-by-
the-Lake."
1t was Nashville cook this time
who mistook arsenic for baking pow
der. OF course she kept them side by
side on the shelf.
The consumption of beer has in
creased by 5s,000,00O gallons in one
year. Somebody's head must be get
ting used to the motion.
Ton yards of Irritation and n bushel
of gush are mentioned by the Boston
Globe as full seaside outfit for the
average young lady,
England's big cannon booms a
charge O, almost 600 pounds of powder
at once. Such spendthrift habits
should not be encouraged in gun.
1t has been satisfactorily settled
that yachtsman need not know how
to sail a yacht. All that is needed is a
uniform and roll to his gait.
This country imported about Is, 0OO,-
900 bottles of wine last year and con-
sumed 29,000,0O0. Nobody got hold
of bottle that wasn't Imported. "
New Hampshire could put about
800 militia in the field if occasion de-
manded, but they would have to carry
pitchforks and wear their everyday
clothes.
They keep finding indictments
AGAINST Ferd. Ward, but after a man
has been drowned fifteen or twenty
times it's no use to pour more water
over him.
The New York Euening Post gives
up the fight at last and says: "Ihe
time has arrived for bidding farewell
in these columns to Keely and his
motor.
Apples are getting large enough to
twist a boy of 10 out of bed and half
way down stairs at every grip, and
the opportunity should not be lost by
IL single youth
If it can on the one hand be called
'scholera infantum," why can't it on
the other hand be referred to as 'chol-
era adultum?" The infants shouldn't
have all the advantage.
1t is believed that if Miss Dudley is
I.~..t l., ,,r;oo, r,nab 1opn she will ba
driven to write poetry, and for this
reason many influential people are
moving to have her released.
A st. Louis woman was spit on from
third-story window by boy and
she has sued the lads employer for
S5, 900 damages. The defense will be
'scontributory negligence"
Eighty-two per cent of all the fires
occurring in New York city are traced
directly to carelessness. It's no won
der an overworked reporter slips his
grammar now and then.
A chap in Arizona has improved on
the idea of an art loan. He has got up
money loan scheme, and only the
other day eight stage coach passengers
lent him nearly $1,000.
The Brooklyn Eagle knows of pro-
fessional roller-skater with bullet in
his head. We can't see anything odd
about that. That's no place to shoot
one OF those chaps if you want 10 lay
him up.
Prof. Proctor says that at least 45O,-,
900 meteoric bodies fall from the heav-
ems every hour of the twenty-four for
the entire year, and yet it is hard work
to find a chap who has had his hat
knocked of.
Of the nine great musical composers
of Germany not one of them had a
face an average man would like to
meet on lonely road at twllight's
solemn hour. He'd count on either
being dunned or thumped.
A Chicago paper asserts that the
Young man who starts out in life with
the feeling that he doesn't know beans
from broomsticks has at least $1,000
capital over all others. No such man
ever started in Chicago.
Fargo has all along supposed that
she had 1900 population, but CEN
sus taken by the police fails to show
quite 10000. How 1000 people
slipped out of town inside of two days
is what bothers those who didn't go.
More than 100 men and women over
60 years of age have been injured or
killed in skating Kinks within the last
six months. Most of 'em were Wild
ows and widowers who were trying to
show off like people of 2O.-DetroI
Free Press.
| An Elonuaut Tramn