Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-06-05

married, irrespective of age, appearance or
kkearted viii l. readily bow bowl to its ATTRACTIONS.
Young and old. rich and poor, are alike sub
iect to its influence and, last. though not
delicacy that detection is Impossible. Ad-
dress Nine. NJ, Buffalo,"
A friend of mine applied to Nine.
M and came to great grief in con-
sequence. He sent twenty-five cents,
with a fitting letter, to her address, as
it was given in her advertisement, but,
unfortunately. her landlady had at
that time decided not to take any more
letters for her and my friends letter
was consequently sent to the Dead
Letter Office. AS it contained postage
stamps, it was there treated as a regis
tered letter and returned as such to my
friends private address, which he had
very innocently given. 1t arrivedwhen
he was absent from home, and his
wife. who was requested by the post
man to sign the receipt for it, had the
curiosity-the very culpable curiosity
to open it. ] will ask all my married
readers to picture to themselves the
countenance of the poor lady when
she saw in her husbands too we'll
known hand the following letter: '.F.
l. S., who has seer Madame Ms
advertisement in the - Journal, will
be glad to receive her advice as to the
best mode OF winning the affections of
a young lady to whom he is devotedly
attached. He incloses twenty-five cents
and a stamped, directed envelope, as
desired"
When F. I. S. returned home that
evening" But no. Let INC not reveal
the secrets of the domestic prison
house. Drop, little curtain. Drop on
the horrors OF that appalling cen
+. |. S. afterward contrived by less
hazardous means to obtain Madame
Ms secret. AS might be expected,
it came in the shape of a little pamph-
let, and was hardly so we'll worth
twenty-five cents as he could have
wished. On M of the overs was a
little advertisement, in which Madame
NJ called the attention Of ladies to
her recipes for the complexion. On
the other cover was another little add
vertisement to her male clients, which
began thus: 'Do you want beautiful
whlskers?" Madame M further
states that ''there is no actual necessity
for her clients to have a personal inter-
view with her" This is veryfortunate,
for IS it has been ascertained beyond
doubt that Madame M is not
Madame NJ at all, but a Mr.. ~,
it is clear that a personal interview
would result in disappointment.
The reader will perhaps be prepared
to learn that the following advertise
nent is very successful:
tkSrD,,, I,,,r,,,, ~ -x,,, r.--
PHoTOGRAPH.-Mr. W. the celebrated as
trologer, will send the true photograph of
your Intended, with name, and date of
answered for twenty five cents. State age
and sex. Send stamped directed envelope.
Address w. Answers in two days"
There are a good many astrologers
in the field. There is T-J-, Who
calls himself the only original astrol-
oyer. There is E-C@, the ancient
Egyptian astrologer, who teaches
astrology in twelve lessons, and who
has the following passage in his little
pamphlet: 81 may remark that the sou
of one of the wealthiest butchers in
Buffalo was told by me that he would
meet a lady on horseback on a certain
day who would be his wife, although
he had never seen her before. This
happened as predicted" Then, again,
there is Mr.. w., No. 9, who, oddly
enough, lives in the same house with
Mr.. W No, 1. Last Of all, there is
Madame de b, who calls herself
the celebrated ~clairvoyant, but dabbles
in prophetic photography like the rest.
For the lone touch Of nature which
makes all these people kin is that they
all send you photographs of your fu-
sure wife. l have the photog raph of
my future wife which 1 obtained from
Mr.. W., the "Astrologer to the
| Spanish Court" He tells me that her
name is Helen, that her age is twen-
ty-seven, and that we are to be mar
ried on the 10Th of July, 1887. 1t seems
to me, as l look at her speaking coun-
tenance, that if she be only twenty
seven years of age the photograph has
hardly done her justice; and again. as
l look, l perceive a sternness in her line
aments thatmakes me tremble forthefu-
ture. Mr.. Wis evidently agood and
prudent man. In one note to the print
ed circular which accompanied the
photograph he tells me that he will
answer no question of an improper or
evil character, and IN another note he
very justly observes: ''Be kind enough
to send as large stamps as possible, the
n cent stamps often making the let
tiers appear bulky and a temptation to
INSCRIPTIONS Post-office officials"
The reader will not perhaps think
much more of a musical box, ''twenty-
five cents, playing eight selections. of
charming lone and brilliant action, full
size, in handsome polished wood case,
metal tongue and plates, new patents,
keyless pattern. A genuine, durable
article, suitable for all, in proof of
which we guarantee each box, and will
at n c return money where complete
satisfaction is not given"
This musical box was what is called, l
believe, a mouth organ. 1t was neces-
sarlly of the keyless pattern, for there
were no works to be wound up, and if
you could play upon it at all you might
have played not merely eight, but any
number of select airs. In one adver-
tisement it was said to be eminently
adapted for the drawlng-room table.
This, of course, was a matter of opin-
ion. 1t had q large sale, espe,aslly
among boys, who, BY it's aid, carried
misery into many a quiet home.
Last fall there appeared IN several