Morning journal and courier., 1885-07-29
HASTY.

A medical man says: ''There should be law against man getting out of bed hasti- Iy." Yes, and there should be another law against his going to work too hastily after getting out of bed.-Boston Post.
 Princess Beatrice doesn't know the first thing about housekeeping, but, as the young couple will probably live on the old folks as long as they last, this slight defect will never be noticed by her husband.-Lowel Citizen.
 Men sometimes recover from the effects of Iock-iaw, but with women it is always fatal. It is not so much the danger of the disease, great as that is It is the modification at not being able to speak that kills.-Somer- vile Journal.
 A Chicago woman, while seated on wharf fishing, fell asleep. Waking suddenly she caught sight of a reflection of one of her feet on the water, and, thinking it was her hus bands dory, jumped in and was drowned.E Boston Globe.
 ssDo you think you can clear himf' she asked of the lawyer 'I don't know, mad am, D replied the attorney doubtfully. "He has lived here all his life, sir, and knows everyone" "Yes, that is what makes me nervous about it."-Daily Graphic. An indignant correspondent asks a morn ing paper why it is that little boy of six is arrested for fishing in 8 certain pond in which fish commissioner bathes regularly. Without committing ourselves, it would seem that it is because the little boy is not a fish commissioner.-Boston Transcript. No dependence can be placed on anything since the advent of Democratic administra- tion. Under Republican rule Sunday school picnic was certain to produce heavy 1 thunder shower, but now an excursion may leave town daily, and not as much as cloud obscures the sun-Norristown Herald (Blaine l Rep)
 | sWouldn't he go along with you" asked z l judge day or two ago of policeman accus- l ed of unmercifully clubbing a prisoner 'sOh, yes he went along all right" replied | the policeman. ''Then why did you clut | h1m?" asked the judge. "And sure, You1
 Honor, what did I have the club for!'-Bos- ! ton Globe.
 | A man never finds out what a contempt l ble fellow his wife has married until he be- gins to hint that a seventy-6ve cent straw hat for himself and seventeen dollar bon net for her own use hardly seems to be fa1
 way of dividing the money he had savet l toward the expenses of summer vacatlon.-
 Fall River Advance.
 The Concord School of Philosophy has jus discussed subject of great interest to tn members of our fire department. A repor
 of the proceedings says that Dr. Hedge talke
 for more that an hour of that remarkabl l work called 'sDas Maerchen." In the day of the old volunteer fire department in Ney
 York, "Jakey" and ''Mose" called it "De
 Masheen," but they were not classical spel lers.-Norristown Herald.
 He looked earnestly at the two glass han
 grenades that hung on the walls of the corr
 dor of the theater. "How thoughtful" h
 said, "of the management to provide bottle | of water in case of faintness among the Ia dies" s'Them's fire extinguishers, intel
 rupted the attendant. "When 8 fire break
 out you throw bottle on it and they puts out.n "Any kind of frea'' "Yes; big c little" 'sThen I'll have dozen put int my coffin. "-Toledo Blade.