The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-07-11
THE BEST SHOW.
How an ArkansAw Man Slipped Into
 sam Jones' Gospel Tent.

Martin Griggs. known in eastern Ark Ansaw as Bad M Artin, was in Little Rock the other day. He did not, through evil deeds, gain this uncnviAble name, but won 1t by his paroxy sms of rage and by his almos, ceaseless habit of swearing.
 Martin" said a hiend. "they tell m that you have protessed religion.".
 "Yas, Abe, it's tact. aint cusscd none fur more than two mon,hs. Wy, sah, luther day when the old spike-,Ail hoss bit mouthful O hair outen my head, l grit,ed my teeth, but didn't euss. My wife expected to hear me cuss sul- phurous streak, but 1 smiled after awhile sn' qs:e,!y ,cck the hair out oi old Spike Tails mouth. Here. mother says l, handin' the hair to my wife, you can stuff your pin cushion with this.'"
 What was the cause of this great changer
 "San Jones and the Lord"
 "You heard Sam, did you 2"
 "Oh, yas, went up to Nashville to make arrangem ents for sellin' a lot of ArkAnsaw whisky for Robertson county. l hadn't hearn sermon sense4 wAa A boy. My wife, she couldn't git me to 90 to church. Wall, the first night arter got to Nashville, was walkin round and seed big tent. Hello thinks [. here is a show. I'll jes' go in for 1 Aia't seed pear, hoss in long time.' My, never did see such a crowd. Folks jAmmed agin one another like they wux afeerd thar want goin' to be seats cnou gh. l scrouged my way along, but co didn't find the ticket wagon. seed sich a crowd pourin' in that thought mout slip Ia an done 1t as slick as a whissle. looked round for the animals bu, couldn't see none, so tuck a seat an waited fur the fun to commence. Patty soon . smallish sort of feller hopped up. 'Thar's the ringmasser, thinks l. He's goin' to tell us about the concert thatrl take place airter the show is over,' but, bless you, he commenced to give out a hymn. As wicked as was 1 couldn't help but think that he was carryin' the burlesque a ie<lls too fur, bu, what was my 'stonish- men. when the folks took up the hymn an commenced to sing it. 1 leaned over to an old teller that sot close to me an whispered. live out in Arkansaw whar a man that has the cramp because he wants to fight 90 bad can always find 'commodation, but they don't jump up and fall down on the gospel this way The old feller looked mighty hard at me, but he didn't say nothin'. Airter the singin', some felier put up a putty good sort O . pra'r. whispered to the old man an said that it was blamed shame. The old teller isoked hard at me, and said that if didn't hush he would have me put out. This riled me. 1 told him that thar mout be men enough in the show to put me out, but agin they got through somebody would ruther go home than to stay an laugh at the clown. Then he periitely told me that it want no show, that Mr. Sam Jones, the great revvaliss, was going to preach. thanked him for his information, tuck a chaw terbacker an lent back, concludin' that 1t dids't cost me uothin' an that could stand It till they passed the hat around. When Sam commenced to preach, 1 ehawed my sesbacker an didn't pay no attention to him, bn, putty soon 1t appeared like he wus playin' on . banjer. stopped chawin' an looked at him. Then he tuck sp the puttiest Hate 1 ever hearn. 1 flung out my tesbacker an listened. The fus thing 1 knowed he had put down the flute an tack up . fddeL Laws . massy. never heard sich music in my lie. commenced to git sorry that had ever swapped hoses on Sunday, an it twant long till would have give . patty ef 1 hadn't p'izensd WeiIsrs dog. l thought Q things that stole when wu boy-thoaght Q the thousand = lies that had toie an' the tears com menesd to run ousen my eyes. thought Q my ~ifs, how trss an how patisss she had always been, an' ho~ often had 1 hurt her teeiin's thought o' my children |-sn', oh, Lord. the face e my Httie boy 1 the little boy that l whipped fsw days hefura ha dsad e0naA oo h>k~x~ vv.~