Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-10-01
Aatl1uro1ts department.

A PARADISE.-Iti is difficult matter to
impress upon the mind of the rural man of
Arkansas the necessity for paying immedi-
ate attention to the heathen. During
camp.meeting in Saline county, a preacher
from Little Rock made an eloquent appeal
harmless missionary instead Of eating hurt
full bulk pork. When the preacher had con-
cluded, an old exhorter arose and said:
Brethren, I've been nightly interested
in this 'lectioneerin' fur the heather an I
would like to know something about him."
Then addressing the minister who had
just taken his seat, the exhorter said:
"Brother, I would like to ask you a few
questions. The boys all say they are wait
in to see what stand + take, so you won't
object to few questions, will you?"
"Certainly not"
"Thankee. Wall, now, how's politics in
the heather country ?"
"He knows nothing Of politics." .
"Ah. hah. Wall, how's the question of
capital an labor ?"
"There is no capital-no labor"
"No strikes?"
"No."
"Got no canderdates?"
sNo candidates"
"Don't have to wear no clothes, if un-
derstand the situation"
'Iney nave no ClOCneS.
"No lawyers there, reckon"
"No lawyers"
"Wall, parson, that's the country Pm
lookin' fur, an eff emigration agent was to
come here he'd ketch every sensible man
in Saline county. Boys, don't think we
ken give Mr.. Heather anything. 1t would
be as foolish as haulin' water an pourin' it
inthe river" a.
THE DOG CAME HIGH.-Talking about
Maine reminds me of something that hap
pened down our way when I was boy. A
young fellow (very bashfuD was riding with
farmer coming down the road in his hay
rigging. On the seat beside him was lit
tie cur.
"I'm going to have some fun with him,
SAL" said the young swain, hauling up
alongside of the old farmer. The farmer
drew up and the young fellow bawled out,
nudging Sally: ''Say stranger, am pow
erfuI struck with that there dog of yourn
and I'd like to buy him."
SWELL" responded the farmer, think an
ALFRED lot of that dog myself, and guess
I amt particular about a-sellin him."
''Wefl, I'll allow want him powerful
bad, and don't mind givin S. for him."
The farmer saw he was being guyed, so
he said: "You pear to be q likely young
cuss, an you've got gol darned handsome
young gal there with you. You throw
YOUR arm around that 'ere gar and give her
good smack, an don't mind given yer
the dorg.n
That was enough for the bashful young
man; he whipped up his horse and went on.
They rode along in silence for an hour or
Then Sal sort of edged up to Bill's side,
turned scarlet, and, looking coyly up into
his eyes, said: "Say, Bill, it pears to me
you didn't want the dog powerful bad, did
you?" That settled it; it broke the ice,
and one of their grand children is going to
school down here now.
ALMOST AS WISE AS BALAAM's.-A
mule story is told by DIR. William A. Ham
mond. While stationed at Fort Webster,
what is now Arizona, he started down the
canyon on very fine large mule. The
beast stopped abruptly and signified that
he would not bulge a step. Spurs were
dug into his hasks to no purpose. There
he Stood as firm as rock. Hammond pull
ed him round, and galloped back to the
fort. The next morning it was ascertained
that at point scarcely hundred yards in
advance ofwhere the mule had gained his
victory some Apache Indians had ambushed
the road, and, but for the brute's keen nose
and ears and firmness in resisting an obstl-
nate man, short work would have been
made of them.
A HINT TO WIvEs.-Wife lat the break
fast table)-What time was it when you
came in last night, dear?
Husband with an aching head)-Well-er,
don't know, exactly.
Wife-It must have been 3 O'Clock. Were
you detained at the Office?
Husband-Er-yes.
Wife (anxiously)- afraid you are
working too hard, dear. You ought not to