Morning journal and courier., 1885-06-29
PROHIBITED.

A Burlington man asked a doctor what in his opinion caused the most sickness the veal round. The doctor replied, without hesita tion, fsThe prohibitory law."-BurhngtoI Free Press.
 The manufacturers of New York city re- gard it as scandalous shame to have the poor sewing girls make shirts at forty cents dozen in that city. They send them over here to be made for thirty-two cents dozen. Philadelphia Call.
 George-''Mother, is this story true about The old woman who lived in shoe9"
 Mother-"Yes, dear"
 George-s'How did she ever get shoe big enough! Where did she hve9'
 Mother = 'sIn Chicago" - Philadelphia Call
 Principal of school (examining applicant who wishes to take charge of some spelling cIasses}-etAnd now, Miss Bunson, what would you do if they should get obstreper- ousg' Miss Bunson-"Ah, obstreperous Why, I'd send them to the dictionary, of course. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
 A young housekeeper wants to know how to tell the age of @ spring chicken. Strike the bird with sledge hammer. If the re- coil causes the hammer to rebound with suf- ficient force to knock your brains out the chicken.is one year old. This IS much more reliable test than to count the wrinkles on hens teeth.-Lumber Trade Journal.
 Grandma-"Clara do you think that youl mother would approve of your sitting up SC late?" Clara-'Why, grandma, it was only 1O:30 when Frank left last evening" Grand ma-ftClara, your grandma happened to be awake just as Frank was leaving, and didn't she hear him say: Nov, Clara, just one' and didn't the clock strike immediately"
 Deficient in English: Frenchman (to Ken lucky citizen)-"Ven zeTfriend ask you ze in vite to take ze drink visky vat yot say in Anglaisg' Kentucky citizen-"Don't care ii do." Frenchman-t'Doncar fdo, ouia But ven you refuse ze invite, zen vat you say III Anglais?' Kentucky citizen-"W ell-er-l guess you've got me now, Frsnchy New York Sun.
 q don't see much of nay husband nova days" sighed West Side woman dejectedly conversing over the back yard fence with n neiehbor. 'sWhat is he doing most of the time?' ssHe's working in the pail factory. v ''Where's thatg'' s'I don't know exactly. It is somewhere down town. He calls 1t bucket shop, but I think the name pal factory doesn't sound so harsh and disgrace full "-Chicago Telegram.
 "Then you think, Claribel, that you could be happy as my wifea" "Oh, yes, I'm sure of it. ; .'And you love me trulya" "No-o-o, me me you surely would not be happy" "oh, yes. I would, ssBut hows" 'Well I could show that odious Smith girl next door that could get husband if I liked" "And would that make you happy?" "Yes. "- Boston Post.
 Two historic timepieces-A lady who has been abroad was describing some of the sights of her trip to her friends. But what pleased me as much as anything" she con- cluded, "was the wonderful clock at Stras- burg' .''Oh, how I should love to see it, J gushed pretty young woman in pink. "l am so interested in such things. And did you see the celebrated watch on the Rhine, too?"-Drake's Travellers Magazine.
 Now to the beach mountain, there to revel
 In summer joys, his vigor to restore,
 The weary paster takes his way. The devil
 Keeps at his business just as before.
 Boston Courier.