Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1885-03-11
Diamond Cut Diamond,

Diamond Cut Diamond.
:sz From the Brooklyn Times
/ was out in q Connecticut village
visiting last Wednesday, where I wit
messed very funny incident.
An agent for hand grenade manu-
factory was to give an exhibition in
an open lot next to the post-olice in
the evening, and had deposited two
cases of his hand grenades in the Office
of a livery stable near at hand.
| A drummer for New York cigar
house and whisky man from Boston
saw them, and Immediately set about
connecting plan to have some fun
with the fire eating hand grenade man,
not but what the hand grenade would
do as advertised to do, but to take
down the insufferable Dragging of the
agent, who in his mind owned the
earth.
A two-dollar bill induced the livery
man to take the hand grenade man
out for a ride, and the two drummers,
armed with cork-screw, considerable
ly loaned by the bartender, a can of
headlight oil and bag of table salt,
bought at the corner grocery, and a
stick of sealing wax borrowed from
the express office, repaired to the sta
BILE. In half-hour's time every gren-
ade was emptied, reflled with oil and
salt, recorked, sealed and replaced in
the boxes, and the two drummers
were having a hearty laugh and a
drink over the fun that was to come
At just supper time the liveryman
drove up to the hotel with a flourish
and deposited the hand grenade man
on the verandah, who turned and re-
marked, very pompously:
'Many thanks, many thanks, sir;
for your kindness. Come this evening
and see me put out the fire. You have
heard of a salamander. Well, I am a
salamander, l eat fire; be sure and
come" Then looking around for adj
n1iring glances he strobe to the dining
room, and made himself as obnoxious
as posslbleto the walters, and incurred
the dislike of every occupant of the
dining-room.
However, at nine o clock, a huge pile
of oil barrels and dry goods boxes,
covered with pitch and coal tar, was
erected on the vacant lot, and about
two thousand people of both sexes
with q sprinkling Of the genus kid, had
gathered to witness the test of the fire
fighter.
Enthusiasm nearly reached the pitch
that a circus brings forth in q village,
and many speculations were offered
by doubling Thomases, until the hand
grenade man made his appearance,
followed by two hostlers, who carried
the two boxes OF kerosene oil-laden
extinguishers, and set them down
about two rods from the bonfire pile.
The hand grenade man mounted on
a barrel and eulogized his extinguisher,
the merits of which he was. about to
give ocular proof, when the Boston
drummer, who with his friend stood
in the front rank, interrupted:
"Fifty dollars even, you don't put
out the fire with those two boxes"
"I'll take that, make it two hum
dred," excitedly replied the grenade
man as he jumped from his perch. The
money was put up in the landlords
hands, the grenade man remarking:
"Sorry, my dear sir, I assure you;
sorry to take your money; wager is
q wager, but Pm betting on a sure
thing"
"That's all right, go ahead with
your holocaust" quietly replied the
B. D., winking slyly to the New York
cheroot seller.
| The grenade man, picking up a piece
of waste saturated with oil, lit it and
threw it into the pile. In an incredi-
| oh 1f ho 1o o1c
and boxes were ablaze, and burning
with terrible fury, seemingly defying
extinction. The grenade man with a
confident smile on his broad face
jauntily stepped over to the boxes,
filled his arms with grenades, looked
at the burning mass. then at the null
titude, who, with eager: expectant air
waited for the first bomb to be thrown.
Raising his hand gracefully the gren-
AIDE man commenced his lombard
ment, running the time around the fire,
and refilling his arms until one box Of
two dozen grenades was exhausted,
when he watched to see the fire slowly
die out, but strange to say there was
nary die, but q fiercer and hotter fire
than ever. Again he resorted to the
grenades-not quite so confidently
this time-yet he worked manfully un-
til the other box was exhausted. Then
litter broke forth from the crowd
which swelled into a laugh, then into
cheers, with hats swung into the air.
The fire drove the people back, until
the livery stable man, who was cap
tain of the hand engine fire company
appeared with the engine and with the
help of volunteers extinguished the
fire, fearing that the adjacent proper
| ty was in danger, as the sparks were
flying with great rapidity and to a
great height, caused by the fierce heat
made by the kerosene oil.
Twenty minutes later the hand-gren-
ade man was locked in his room at
the hotel, gazing sorrowfully at the
cavity the vanished two hundred dol
lars had made in his pocketbook,
while the two drummers we're on their
way to the train. It was while divid-
ing the two hundred dollars that they
gave the snap away to me, as sat in
| the seat behind them and laughed at
the grenade mans failure, have since
wondered if the man sold any hand
grenades in the little Connecticut
| town.
A Curious Game Of Chance.
From the New York Start
Dropping into the private Office of a
big firm of brokers recently l found the
principals, with number of friends,