Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-10-15
LAW COURT INCIDENTS.
The Humor of the Sross-hAaih'"sI
and the Witness-FunDy sayings ana
DOings on the Bench

Anyone interested in the peculiarl-
ties of his fellow-man must needs ma
HIM strlkingly exempllfied IN courts
of Justice, says Chambers Journal,
and the Judge or barrlster or any other
nersop of discrimination who has ar
rived at an old age in the service OF a
law court must possess a clear insight
into the traits and pecul!arilies Of man
kind.
Nothing is so much appreciated IN a
court .of Justice IS fun, and II Is prln-
cipally this aspect of the qestio1 that
this pa per intends to deal with. The
solemnlty with which they are gener-
ally associated, and the serious issues
at stake, render wit and hGmor more
acceptable, as being a deviation from
the beaten path Of decorum. There
are times, however, when levlty is
much out of place, although often ms
dulged in: for instance, 1t is most m
aprrorriate to find barfister Joking
while the prisoner at the bar is charg-
ed with murder; and the jokes OF a
Judge who is constantly making fun,
If any little opportunity presents IT.
self. IN the end fell fiat. without leay-
ing any appreciable effect, which IS
not the case when, now and then, this
high fan ctionary emits q remark
which does rot fail to call forth mTth
and laughter.
A ready reply or cutting sarcasm Is
sometimes used as q weapon OF De
Tense by a witness. Occasionally,
even ia the most unimportant case,
he will be cross-examined by the OPP
posing counsel 10 such an extent that
unless he be a clear-head5d and thInk
ing D rson he will be liable 10 commit
himself. This is one Of the aims of
counsel-to confuse the witnesses and
constantly remind them that they are
on oath. Some indulge IN the latter
practice to an insutferable extent.
O'Connell was conspicuous for. his
powers Of examination, and OF follow
ing up, il possible, any part OF the
evidence the witBess endeayored 10
evade. During a Munster circuit ne
was engaged in q case where the ques-
ton was the validity Of will, oy
which property to some amount was
devised, but which the plaintiffs al
legged was forged. O'Connell noticed
that the subscribing witness during
examination swore that 1.-THE t-stator
signed The will while life was in hlm."
Suspectine something, he asked the
witness: WAS it not that a live fly
was in the dead mans mouth while
his hand was placed on the Wig
The witness, Through fear, actually
confessed that this was the case.
A barrister named was defending a
prisoner charged Nth stealing a don
key, and was severe in his eXamina
ton of the witness. The case was
that the prosecutor had left the don
key tied to gate, and on returning
it was gone, DO you mean to say
witness" said Missing, "the donkey
was stolenY 81 mean 10 say, sir.
was the reply, that the ass was miss
ing"
A witness may be obstructive, and
give a barrster great trouble IN re
fusing toa1swer questions put TO him;
but this method of procedure is not SO
effective as quick, sharp, and ready
reparlee.
An eminent English architect was
being examined by counsel, who was
using every effort in his power to de-
preciate the witness opinion.
"You are q builder, | believes"
mo, SIR; | am not a builder; am
an architect"
''Ab well, builder or architect or
architect or builder-they are pretty
much the same, suppose2'
Il beg your pardon; they are total
ly different.
"Oh, indeed Perhaps you would
state wherein this great difference
consists"
IAN architect, sir, conceives the
design, prepares the plan, draws out
the speeihcau0n-in short, supplies
the mind, The builder is merely the
machine, the power that puts the
machine together aud sets it going"
"Oh, very well, Mr. Architect
that viii do. A very ingenious dis.
tincti0u, without differences. Do
you happen to know who was the
architect of the tower of Babel9"
"Tnere was no aIchitect-hence the
ncofusion."
(Which way did the stairs RUM
a witness was once asked, aud his
reply was THAT depended on circum.
stances II you are at the bottom,
they run up, but if you are on the top
they run down
Cuman was examining witness,
aud failing TO get q direct answer,
said "There Is 40 use in asking you
questions, for l see the villain in your
face.
DO you, sir3" said the man, with
a smile Fax, l never knew my
face was looking glass before"
prisoner at the bar, said Judge,
sis there anything you would Wish to
say before sentence is passed upon
your The prisoner looked toward
the door, and remarked that he would
like te say Good evening if ii was
agreeable to the company.
The sayings and domgs of the bench
generally commasd more attension
than any thing which emauatcs from
any other part Of the court. Probably
it is a kind of policy openly, If not in
watdly, to appreciate the judges j1kes