The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-01-17
MIR. ThimbIeiig's Soap.

Old Mr.. Wagstaff Thimblejig says the
toilet soap that comes in balls instead
of in cakes is an abomination and an
evil that should be suppressed by law.
One day last week Mr.. Thimblejig was
standing in the bathroom by the open
window washing his hands with one of
these spherical specimens of transpar-
ent soap.
He couldn't get any lather out of it
to save his life bye srubbing it on his
hands; he was either obliged to get
lather by first rubbing it on his hair, or
by holding it pretty tightly in one hand
and turning it swiftly around with the
other, as a pitcher manipulates base
ball before delivery to get the proper
twist on it.
AS he was turning it around for about
the fftieth time, it slipped swiftly from
his hand, flew up to the ceiling, and
came back, taking Mr.. Thimblejig on
the nose, and then scudding out through
the window
Before it could touch the ground it
came in contact with the dog that was
asleep in the path, and drew yelp out
of him that could be heard after the
dog was out of sight. From the dogs
head it struck a clothes pole, thence up
in the air, taking the silk hat on a
painter. Then down it came crashing
toward young Thimblejig, who couldn't
understand what it meant. He had a
baseball bat in his hand, and with that
he let the soap ball have it as hard as
he could. He sent the ball flying on a
line toward the kitchen door. Before
it got there, however, Mr.. Wagstaff
Thimblejig came bounding through that
aperture to get the soap. He got it
too-got it right between the eyes.
The meeting was very affecting. AS
soon as Mr.. Thimblejig could regain
his feet, he started up stairs to wash the
blood and dust off his face. That soap
never got him in such lather before.
BY this time the dog was a mile off,
increasing his speed. And the further
he got from the house, the more dis
tinctly you could here him. If he
could sign his name to all he was bark
ing, it would not be a very complement
tary advertisement for that soap.
Meantime that soap, after rebound.
ing from Mr.. Thimblejig's nose, had
taken the liberty of lamming the milk
mans horse on the head, and the poor
animal ran away, and upset the cans as
he went along, thus watering, or milk
ing, the hot, dusty road.
The soap was almost master of the
situation. The cook had fled to the
cellar. Young Thimblejig came out at.
tired in a base ball catcher's mask, a
fencing jacket and tennis racket.
But before he could get on his guard, or
rather before he could locate the soap,
it came suddenly around the corner of
the house, took him on the back of the
head, and grassed him like shot.
AS it sped on its course, nice in
nocent dog next door saw it coming.
He was sort of trick dog, and he
thought he would catch it, being under
the impression that it was hurled for
him to fetch. But, instead, it fetched
fetched him right in the mouth, and
a few hours later, when he was down at
the village being measured for set of
false teeth, he concluded that the next
time he ran to get ball he would run
after it, and pick it up after it stopped.
But right off the dogs jaw it bounced
straight back toward the window, where
Mr.. Thimblejig was washing the gore
off his face, and flying through the
aperture, landed square in his hands,
and he went on washing his hands, with
it as though nothing had happened.
After he was through, however, he
secured every spherical cake Of soap in
the house, and fattened them out with
hammer to make them harmless.
And he vows if his wife brings any
more of them in the house, he will try
to secure an absolute divorce from her.
| -Puck.
bay-A New York editor has been