Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-06-17
THE COMPOTE OF APPLES.
A King Taught by His Queen How
to Form a Good Cabinet.

There was once King, but do not
know of what, for history is always so
tiresome about questions and answers
that have never dared to inquire. The
only thing that l do know is that he
was called Perico, and that he had
married certain Mari Castana, and
also that he passed his life thinking how
he could form good Cabinet OF officers,
and saying, when every one turned out
worse than the last: lit is enough TO
make my nose swollen!'
Mari-Castana, the Queen, was a
famous cook and looked upon politics
with indifference. In those DAYS there
were none Of those intimate relations
between politics and dining, for, like
other barbarians, the people had never
thought of very simple thing: to
fortify the heart it is enough to fortify
the stomach, its neighbor, and half n
glass is enough to kindle n patriotic
glow.
His wife's indifference to politics
troubled King Perico greatly, and such
discussions as these were quite common
between their Majcsties:
''Do you know, wife, think I see
how we can vary our course ~
'But il is varied every day."
"You are mistaken; il has never been
varied"
"Was there ever such forgetful
man! Anybody would think never
took any pains not TO have the same
course at table two days in success
sion!'S
''But, wife, it was of other courses I
was speaking"
why, how am l to get you others
when everything in the market is as
high rs the clouds, and do not know
how / am to lay hold of thing"
''How you run on! With your absurd
fancy for cooking you mix up things in
the strangest--"
mo, l don't There is no fault to be
found in the things mix. No King, be
he King of what he may, ever eat bet
ter mixed salad than that you have just
eaten"
woman, listen to me and do not
scorch-"
"Do you presume to say that there
was anything scorched on the breakfast
table this morningP''
81 have not said ANYTHING of the
kind. But | will say this: that there is
no talking any sense with you, and /
shall leave you before my nose be-
comes swollen"
And the squabblc ended by the Kings
going to his private room to bury him.
self in political affairs, while the Queen
hurried to the kitchen to see il the soup
needed skimming.
These alterations afforded King
Perico some very lively moments. He
was feeling of his nose one morning and
findingit, as he thought, little swollen,
he made up his mind to forbid the
Queen formally from entering the
kitchen; but an unexpected event
changed the appearance of affairs and
subsequently proved that he had been
mistaken in his symptoms.
AS the King rarely left the palace and
as the Queen went out to market every
morning, all petitions addressed to their
Majesties naturally fell into the hands
OF the Queen. One morning, while she
was at the fish-market cheapcning tho
price of a Goldfish, ragged lad APP
preached her and respectfully handed
her a petition and Immediately ran
away.
The paper contained these words:
"Your Highness exponent is
faithful subject to your Majesty, aud as
a proof of IL, now out of office, for your
Majesty's pcrlidious advisers have
cleared him out to put In a donkey out
Of one of their own families. So after
that he thinks it his duty to let your
Majesty know that your Majesty's
trcacherous Ministers are preparing
great pie as a present; and he says no
more, for he who has good under
standing. ETC."
what impudence! what audacity!
what iniquityr' exclaimed Queen Mari
Castana, angrily, on reading il. ITO
think there should be any one in the
palace who should attempt to make a
pie, when that Is my speciality; that any
one should attempt to make pastry at
ter the receipt of my most noble glory.
The King shall know of il directly, and
II his Majesty does not hang these trait
ors the instant he has read 1t. VIC shall
know the reason why"
And the Queen began to run toward
the palace, more angry at every step.
'Pericor she called out TO her hus-
band, Tread, read this paper and see
what your per6dious advisers are plan
uing. Hang them instantly; have no
mercy, or else will put corrosive sub
Innate in your soup instead of salt"
King Perico had BIS suspicious that
the pie mentioned in the paper would
be less easy OF digestion than the
Queens, and began Investigations with
hat prudence and sagacity which a.
'airs OF state require. The result proved
that the object Of his Ministers was
nothing less than his destruction.
The traitors were arrested and SEN
enccd to death.
Finding no mercy in the King. whose