The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-07-18

arly of being run over probably by MS
b,st friend. While this may be somewhat
e.cusable in those who pay dollar an hour
or livery rig, the young blood who owns
turnout has no right to turn corners fast
err than the law allows and ride over that
class of humanity that are compelled to &C
afoot. Three times within the past week
the Gossiper has been nearly run over 10y
these fast drivers in their mad careers, and
lie offers this as a sort of mild.mannered
apology for being permitted to escape.
go
A sad-eyed cotemporary in quest of in
formation wants to know what deter
mines young ladys popularity in society,
That's an easy question to answer It's the
size of her fathers bank account you stu
pid.
Mendoza girls don't have to let them
selves down with ropes, or shin down lad
ders when they want to elope. The old
man quietly opens the door for 'em, carries
the bundle out on the steps and then locks
the door with the gentle remark; when
you get tired Of your cowboy come home
and take the cooks place at three dollars a
week."
The following, written for the "Gossiper"
column, and sent anonymously, sounds as
though it were from the pen of jim Kelly:
"Heaven bless the girl at the front gate
with peach bloom on her cheeks and the
electric light In her eyes. Men would shut
her out of our literature but | am not of
them. The girl at the front gate can never
grow old to those who have been there
with her. Years may come and years may
90, but the sweet music Of the low voice az
the front gate will not be stilled and the
memory of those cherry lips we kissed at
parting makes a fellows old heart hum
with happiness, and wish that those front
gates would always remain for those who
come after us, chasing lifes brightest
pleasures"
The Joliet Press, though friendly to the
election of Judge Parks, for local reasons,
has the candor and justice to say the fol
lowing of Judge Gilbert;
Judge Gilbert, who has been presiding
in our county court several days, made Il
most favorable impression on cur people
He is able, cool, careful and patient, and
conscientious in his rulings, and is gov
erned by the principle of equal and exact
Justice. The verdict of our citizens seems
to be that he is firstclass judicial timber.
**
Young married couples or their wedding
tours have in times past devised a good
many ingenious schemes to conceal from
fellow travellers how recent their happiness
was but none ever equaled in inven-
tive genius the young pair from Peru who
borrowed three year old boy from neigh
Dor to take along with them to avoid sus-
picion. The idea is bright one and
worthy of being followed by all bashful
bridal outfits.
-
People ought to have enough horse sense
to find out when they are well off and to
know good thing when they see it. A
man recently got 500 900 verdict for dam
ages from railroad company; he wanted
more; got a new trial and verdict for six
cents Another fellow who was acquitted
of murder went off the same day and got
married. Let we'll enough alone, my
friends 1t is sound philosophy.
x
The Quincy J0wnal says that Ma
combs authorities have decided to discrm-
mate in favor of family heads in giving
employment The single fellows can live
on faith, but faith is too light food for ba-
bies." To which the Macomb Eagle re-
plies; "The idea prevails here by large
majority that the single fellows should get
married and take care of their babies"