davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
The Scared Professor.

There is no use of Disgusting the fact
that the boys who attend our colleges
are pretty tough cases on general princi-
Piles. Not that they would commit
crimes, or do things that are particularly
dishohorable, but they are as full of the
old Nick as they can hold. You take the
best boy you can find in the public
schools, one who has had religious
training, and seems to have pious turn
of mind, and who is so good that all the
other boys think he is bookedfor heaven,
and send him off to college, and you
want to watch him. The chances are
that he will come back with knowledge
of draw poker that will paralyze an old
gambler, and he will be sure to be
leader in all the deviltry that is going
on. An illustration Of this was furnished
short time ago in one of our state
colleges devoted to turning out pious
young men. The class in elocution was
furnished with q professor from dis
tant city, who was very thorough in his
methods, but he didn't amount to any
thing at handling boys. He seemed to
look at them in the class room appeal
ingly, as much as to beg them not to
play any monkey work on him. The
boys saw he was afraid of them, and
they laid for him. They got into dis
cussion over the proper way to render a
passage from the poem, "The Boy
Stood on the Burning Deck" when one
of the students called the other liar.
The professor held up his hands in hor-
ror, and begged them to be seated, when
the young man who had been called
liar drew revolver and shot at the
other student, who fell to the floor an
alleged corpse. The professor was wild,
and at this point the lights went out and
every student drew revolver and began
firing blank cartridges in the air. Some
were armed with putty balls and eggs,
and at each discharge something would
strike the professor, and he thought he
was full OF holes. A window was raised,
and by the light made by the exploding
cartridges pair Of coat tails and legs
could be seen going out, and the pro-
fessor landed head first on some lilac
bushes They rushed to the window
and the poor man, bruised and bleeding,
and as scared as it was possible for a
man to be, was running for dear life.
The next morning he took the train for
home, with black eye, and clothes
that looked as though something had
been scraped off Of them, and the
faculty of the college will not know what
has become Of their profession Of elocu-
ton till they read this. The boys go
about their studies as though nothing
had happened, but they are trying to
think up some new deviltry. Boys will
be boys, and there is no way you can
prevent it, unless you break their backs,
-Peeks Sun.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
Consumption Cured.

An old physician, retired from practice, hav
ing had placed in his hands by an East Iudla
Missionary the formula of simple vegetable
remedy for the speedy and permanent cure of
Consumption, bronchitis, Catarrh, Asthma and
all throat and lung affections, also q positive
and radical cure for Nervous Debility and Ii
Nervous Complaints, after having tested its
wonderful curative powers in thousands OF
cases, has felt it his duty to make it known to
his suffering fellows. Actuated by this motive
and desire to relieve human suffering. Twill
send free of charge, to all who desire it this re-
ceipt ia German, French or English, with full
directions for preparing and using. Sent by
mail by addressing with stamp, naming this
paper. W. A. MOVES, lI9 Powers Block, Roch-
ter, N. Y. Dec. l2 eowt5.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
Shall and Will.

In the South, as in Scotland and Ire
land, shall and will are constantly mis-
used. The West has caught the infec-
ton from the South. The correct usage
is to employ shall in the first person and
will in the second and third persons
where mere intention or purpose is con-
veyed. The reverse is true where much
stronger determination is meant. such
as threat. The threadbare story of
the Frenchman who cried, az will
drown nobody shall help me-" is the
best possible illustration of the perver.
sion to which we have referred. In old
times the East was free from this fault
Yankee children were 80 well drilled as
to be incapable of falling into error, but
the corruption is extending over there.
A correspondent OF the Boston Adver-
tiser thus bewails the growing degen-
eracy:
l have been teacher of many chill.
dren and young people of Boston. If I
told their names they would be recog-
nized at once as good representatives Of
the city's young. 1 can not recall one
OF them who was uniformly correct in
using shall and tOili, should and Dould,
Their sense for realizing the distinction
seemed to be numb. They could NOT be
taught it. Whether this is because our
children get SO much of their habit of
talk from un-English hirelings, / can
not say. But the sad fact remains
English in Boston has got the dry rot
We hope we shall see a reform which
will drive the innovation out of good
society Cincinnati Gazette.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
How a Quaker Punished a Thief.

A Quaker, having been disturbed by
footsteps around his dwelling one night,
arose from his bed and cautiously
opened the back door to reconnoiter.
Close by was an clubhouse, and under il
a cellar, near window of which was q
man busily engagedin receiving the con.
tents OF his pork barrel from another in
the cellar.
The Quaker approached, and the man
on the outside fled. He stepped up +.
the cellar window and received the pork
from the thief within, who, after q little
time, asked his supposed accomplice in a
whisper:
"Shall we take it all ?" The owner
of the pork said softly,
eyes, take it all" and the thief
handed up the balance through the
window and then came up himself
Imagine his CONSERVATION when, ill.,
stead of greeting his companion in
crime, he confronted the Quaker.
Both were asiouished for the thief
proved to be a Hear Heighbur,- of whom
none would have suspected such cM-
duet He pleaded for mercy, begged
HIM not to expose him, spoke of the ne
cessities ofpoverty, and promised faith
fully not to steal again.
" If thou hadst asked me for meat, it
would have been given thee. pity thy
poverty and thy weakness, and esteem
Thy family. Thou art forgiven"
The thief was greatly rejoiced, and
was about to depart, when the Quaker
said,
Take the pork, neighbor."
" No, no." said the thief, 81 don't
want the pork"
"Thy necessity was so great that it led
thee to steal. Ono-half Of the pork thou
must take with thee"
The thief insisted that he could never
BAT morSel of it. The thought of the
rhine would make it choke him. He
begged the privilege of letting it alone.
But the Quaker was iuflexible, and fur
lished the man with bag, put half the
pork therein and laying it upon his back,
sent him home with it.
He met his neighbor daily for several
years afterward, their families visited
ogether, but the matter was kept
secret, and though in after years the
circumstance was mentioned, the name
If the delinquent was rievermade known.
Fhe punishment was severe and
afectual. 1t probably was his first
it certainly was his last--attempt to
steal.
Had the man been arranged before a
court of justice and imprisoned for the
petty theft, how different might have
been the result. His family disgraced,
heir peace destroyed, the mans charac-
Ter ruined and his spirit broken.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
A Stage Drivers Story.

"I had only made one Iun down
here, " said cur stage driver on q journey
in New Mexico, when, passing one Of
the sidings, We took ON Simon-pure,
double-i,ted gray, one Of the pioneers,
these fellows who had lived life in nd.
vance of civiliza ion, making the way
easy for others, but always leaving ia
time to escape the press and improve.
ments, the foundation for which he had
SO surely laid. Evidently lie had never
before sen the interior Of car. for il
was some moments before he concluded
to seat himself, which he did cautiously,
and with that quick, nervous twinkle Of
the eye which men constantly on the
alert for danger exhibit. LET me say
here that in this country every man car.
ries pistol, and generally in his back
pocket. Well, as / had already seen
the other passengers tickets l took my
time about matters, and slowly walked
up to my man and put my hand, with
the usual quick motion, behind me TO
get my punch but before / could say
Ticket sir ! quicker than powder the
muzzle of sixshooter sweled under
my eyes, and hearty voice rang out
put her back, stranger; I've got the
drap on yer You may laugh, but
shook hands with him over free ride,
anyway"
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
"Alden's Juvenile Gem"

Is the title of new illustrated
weekly paper for young people, the
publication of which begins with the
new year. 1t is new departure of
the prolific Literary Revolution
and will therefore be examined with
particular interests by some hundreds
of thousands of readers who have
come to look to that enterprise al
most exclusively for their reading
matter. Its subscription price is
only 70 cents year, though it will
rival the high priced magazines in
the amount and quality of its attrac-
tions. A specimen copy will be sent
to any applicant forwarding his adj
dress by postal card to the publisher,
John B. Alden, 1893 Pearl street, New
York.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
Why MacNoddle Staid From
Church,

"What can keep Mr.. MacNoddle
from church ?" asked a worthy par
son of his sexton. ~ hope it is not
methOdism ?" NO." said the sexton,
''its worse than that" "What then P"
SIS it calvinism ?" "Worse than your
reverence" "Surely its not atheism ?"
Truly, your reverence, it's even
worse than that. It's rheumatism !"
But people who are troubled with
that unpleasant "ism" can find relief
in Browns Iron Bitters. Mr.. John
Meyer of Fifth street. ST. Louis, says,
Browns Iron Bitters completely
cured me of three-year-old rheu-
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
THE. Worlds Of Wonders"

AS seen by. the Great Tropical and
Polar Explorers" is the title of a
new and valuable book just published
by the Historical Publishing Co. Its
object is to "place within the reach of
all, in one elegant, finely illustrated
volume, all the achievements, discov-
cries, travels, and adventures of the
great explorers; history Of marvel
lous things on the earth; of strange
countries and races of people; of Gu
rious animals, birds and reptiles; and
the worlds great natural phenomena
and curiosities." 1t possesses addition
al interest in being an official history
of the late Greedy Expedition in search
of the North Pole, and is no doubt a
book of standard merit and great in
terest. The publishers claim that it
is a complete encyclopedia of explor-
alton, discoversie and adventures in
all parts of the world, and as such it
must possess very great interest for
all classes of readers, See advertise
ment elsewhere.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
The Babies in the Cradle.

Babies are very little things, yet
they leave great gaps of loneliness be-
hind them when they die. Mothers
save your little.ones by giving them
Parker's Tonic when they show signs
ofbeing unwell. This famous reme-
dyisso pleasant that an infant will
take 1t, and it will soon quiet and re-
move their aches and pains.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

A GENTLEMAN once laid wager that
he would stand for whole day on Lon.
don Bridge with tray full Of sovereigns,
fresh from the mint, and be unable to
find purchasers for them at penny
apiece. Not one was disposed Of,
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

and the many throat affections of children.
promptly PLEASANTLY and safely relieved by
!. Rough on. Cougbs'' Trochcs, l5c. Balsam,
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
on PAIN porus Plaster,

Ask for Wells Trough on Corns." I5c. Quick
complete cure. Hard or soft corns. warts, bun
ions.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

Strengthening, improved, the best for back
ralgia.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

Wells Health Remover" restores health
ana ylfor; cures Dyspepsia, Headache, Ner
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

The Court of Appeals has decided
that VIM. Neal, the last of the Ash
land murderers, must hang. Feb. 6
is the day set.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
The Hope or The Nnilnn.

Slough on Itch" cures humors, eruptions
chillblains.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
4Roueh on Painn Porns plnster

three Or four hours every night coughing, Get
immediate relief and sound rest by using Wells,
Rough ON Coughs" Troches, l5c.; Balsam'
IS cents.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

Hacking, irritating Coughs Colds, Sore Throat,
Liquid, 25c. w '
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

Polarization, Dropsical Swellngs, Dizziness
Indigestion, Headach6, Sleeplessn6ss cured by
Wells Health Renewer."
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

lfyou are failing, broken, worn ont and ner
vons, use wells Health Remover" 25c.
Druggists. h
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

II you are losing your grip on life. trv "Wells
Health Renewer.p Goes direct to weak snots
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

Strengthening, improvedtthe best for back.
ache, pains in chest or side, rheumatism, neu,
ragia' augl2ly
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

Ask for "Rough on Coughs" for Coughs,
Liquid, &c.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

81, 81, 81, %, aud 50 per Day. easily made
~ AGENTS selling the book entitled, THE
enses ni man and horso, and gives the hest re-
clles Tor their cure, 100 illustrations and 100
pages. Retail. for IS cts. Agents prices Ct.
por copy 0ud lees, according 10 quantity order
y els, hddn-- MANLIY a OsBOENF. n Penn.
eerloh So h1sion, Mas. dee. Ally
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
Catarrhni Throat AileotIOns.

I, Ladies who would retain freshness and.yicac.
ity. Don't fail to try "Wells Health Renewer. u
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20

Children, slow in development, pnny, scraw-
ny, and delicate, use 'Well's Health Remover,
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-01-20
ROLLER SKATES

,out 10 any pnrt Of tho United siatra. nv mail
pe' paid. nrdn receipt of price. The best and
rhcnptrl Roller skDics Ia the market. The
meet health giving tNeic 10 ever invented.
, on can learn io skate In JOur own house. de-
.r,rWlvc mud pTice lst nj fire.. Adhres
" y lNLtT oseoRNR, y Pcmbcrton square
ho'''h Mass. dtcgly
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1885-10-03
NO. II
CHEEK.

The two chief shriekers among
the howling Republican, dervishes
who are now spinning themselves
diZzy in frenzy against the South,
are John. Sherman aud George
Frlsbie llOar. They are the loud.
est OF the reactiOnists who are
groaniug at Imaginary frauds and
otfenses against the suffrage which
they charge upon the Democratic
party in the South.
Cast iron is putty compared with
the cheek of these two Republi.
cans. John Sherman was an nc.
complice in tina: monstrous crime
against free suffrage aud free
government which forced a fraud.
ulent President upon the United
States, and the Treasurer was
John Sherman's share of the pro.
ceeds, the reward for his compiled
ty in that crime.
George Frisbie Hoar was u mem
ber of the Electoral Commission
which by his vote aud the vote OF
his Republican associates refused
even to notice and inquire Into the
palpable and notorious frauds by
which the will of the people in
three Southern States was set
aside by scoundrels whom the Re
publican party at the North en-
couraged and abetted, aud after
ward rewarded. Hoar had beer
to Louisiana on a Congressiona
committee of investigation, ant
knew we'll enough what yillainous
acts the Republicans of that Stat,
were capable of. lie shut his eyel
to fraud, he would hear no evi
dence of 1t, he assisted in its tri
umph, and took the Federal patron
agei in Massachusetts, for part o
his reward.
And now these men whos'
names are sullied by their share il
that infamy have the imputlenc'
to prate about funds and to de
mand that She right of suffrag'
shall be respcctcd.-New Yorl
Sun.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1885-10-03
showing Up Sherman.

Washington, Sept. pa special
emissary has left for Columbus
with a genuine copy of the sup.
pressed Senate report No. 265,
containing testimony against SEN
ator Sherman's administration of
the Treasury Department, with
which 1t is proposed to attack
Sherman in the campaign.
The document is scarce, and it
is charged that the suppression
was secured by Sherman. The
testimony refers to the payment
of stationery bills by the govern.
meDt for the Sherman Campaign
Committee to advance his Pres,-
dental nomination in 1880. and also
to other employment of Federal
employees for private purposes,
for the purchase of plants, flowers,
perfnmery, ETC., at the govern.
ment's expense.
Sherman, as a witness, denied
any knowledge of the excess OF
powers on the part of the Treasury
custodian. Senator Allison's re-
port was damaging by inferance,
as it said that no amendment OF
the laws was necessary 10 stop
such violations.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1885-10-03
Proportion Of Voters to Population.

A few days ago the New York
World published table giving the
number of males of voting age and
the number of votes cast in vari.
GUS States of the North and South
in the elections of 1880 and 1884.
The object of the publication was
to show that as large a proportion
of the voters come to the polls In
the Southern States as in some of
those of the North. In the presi.
dental contest of 1880, when efforts
were made in the South by both
parties to bring the voters to the
polls, there is a showing of much
larger per centage of the voting
In the South than there is In Mas
sacbusetts, Vermont or Rhode Is.
land. In the latter State only 40
per cent. of the voting population
came to the polls, while 30 per
cent. voted in Florida. In Massa.
chusetts 30 per cent. voted, while
in South Carolina 81 per cent. de.
posted their ballots. = Natchez
Democrat.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1885-10-03
De 'P5ssum 'Pearca IN jedgment.
Macon Telegram. |

MdCuu ltteBIdm.
A planter owned q slave named
Nose, who was an inveterate pos.
sum hunter. Away back in 1888
there was most remarkable me.
teoric shower, popularity known as
"when the stars fell" Uncle Nose
was out in a hurricane track, where
the logs lay thick, indulging in his
favorite pastime. His boy JEFF
was with him, and they had caught
q 'possum and inserted his tail in
a cleft sapling, in the usual fash.
ion, and JEFF was carrying the pole
on his sholdier. Snddesly the
whole earth was brightly illumina.
ted by the shower Of falling mete.
ors. Uncle Nose gazed up in
mute astonishment, as the blazing
stars went shooting hither and
thither, stretching their flaming
tails across the horizon in an awe.
inspiring manner. Then he STAN
peded. He would run a short dis
tance, fall over log, and then get
on his knees and pray. Then be
would make another dash, trip
over a decaying branch, aud begin
parying again. JEFF scrambled af.
ter him, still holding on to bis
'possnm. All of sudden Nose
remembered 1t was Sunday night,
and then he prayed louder than
ever. JEFF called out: daddy,
wot mus / do wild dis 'possum n
''Great Lord o. massyl JEFF, hab
you got dat 'possum yiti Turn
him loose let him go, yo' fool mig
gah De worl' am comm to an
een', and when de Lo'd Ak me wot
| mean by huntin' 'possum on Sun
day night, doan yo' know I dDan
want dat 'possnm TO pear in iedg-
ment agin melp
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1885-10-03
Railroad Work In the YazOO D. ita.
Especial 10 the Avalanche. !

Special 10 the Avalanche.
jackson, Tenn, Sept. 26.-The
contract for building the 20 miles
Of the Yazoo and Mississippi Val
ley Railroad was let by Capt. J. G..
Mann of Jackson. chief engineer
Of the road. 1t is estimated it wi !
cost 81, 100000 to build the road.
The line extends through the va.
zoo Delta aud the bridging and
trestling are the heavy contracts.
They were let for 80 miles to Se-
we'll & Mcpherson, Bonneville,
Mo-; 10 miles to Capt. j. G. Nicely,
Boxdell,; Is miles to j. II. Beth.
une, Charleston, Mo; II miles to
G. M. Gardy, Springfield, Mo.
The following were some of the
contracts for grading: Mr.. Bod
kin, Yazoo City, 8 miles Tread.
we'll & Hodges, Jackson, Tenn,
10 miles; Pat Lamb, Memphis, 8
miles; Flynn s. Cooney, Memphis,
s miles; --Popej ~, Memphis, 8
miles; Geo. Arnold & Co., Mem
phis, 10 miles; Robert johnson,
Memphis, 8 miles; - Gibson,
West Point, Miss, 8 miles.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1885-10-03
4 Dlsobedient Dogs Fate.
ISt. James's Gazette.l

ISt. James's Gazette.
While several gentlemen were
making experiments with dynamite
in a tarn among the hills at Penn.
brey, Carmarthenshire, the other
day, a charge Of dynamite, with a
five minutes fuse attached, was
thrown into the water and the
power of the explosive was to be
judged By the volums of water
forced up by the concussion.
While operations were proceeding
a sportsman, accompanied by his
dog, appeared on the scene, and
as the dynamite charge was thrown
into the tarn the dog instantly
sprang into the water and seized
the parcel, which it brought
ashore. The sportsman shouted
to his dog to drop IL, but the ami
mal did not, and ran in the direc.
ton of its master and those who
we're making the experiment. This
created great alarm and the dog
was only kept at bay by stones
being thrown at him. At length
the charge exploded and the dog
was blown to pieces.