Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-08-12
A LAWYERS RUSE.
How a Nevada Disciple Of Black
stone Conquered Two Bores.
A Lively Fight the Result of the Experl-
ment-Generai Destruction OF Onico
Bric-a-Brac-An Expensive, But
Successful, Strataeem.

Littleton Coke. leading lawyer OF
the Comstock, is, outside OF court
room, one of the mildest-mannered
men that ever cut up witness or an
intestate estate. OF his legitimate bat
tie ground, and in ordinary walks of
Life. Littleton Coke is patient and long
suffering-would not even utter word
that would sturb the serene rapacity
OF q gas-fitter. He could SIN lingly
listen by the hour to q querulous old
woman, complaining that faces were
pulled at her by the children of a
nelghbor, yet he had for me tribu-
lations that narrowed his soul down to
its lowest levels.
Through pretense of business in the
beg mn ne, two men became visitors 10
h S snug and quie second-hoor office,
who presently developed from their
chrysals state of mere RAPID maun-
derers INTO such intense and active
bores that they became the terror OF
his life. They were men who possessed
the faculty of discoursing with much
sp rlt and volubilty for whole hours
upon the ''incongruousness of incon-
gruity," the "womanly nature of
women" and other interesting and in
structivc subjects.
Poor Coke! this "atlliction sore long
time he bore" without being able to
dev SC any plan whereby he m ght I'd
Ii mSelf of the par who were bringing
down his gray hairs in sorrow TO the
grave" So deeply did the presence of
the twin bores affect him that his heart
sank and his soul sickened at the bare
appearance of either OF h 5 persecu-
tors.
One day, when one of these treless
'rorcadocrs, whose name may be writ
ten Jones'" was drilling the lawyer
through and through, causing him to
sweat blood-all regardless of q ma
lign GOODNESS that shone in the legal
eye-thc conversation turned upon gar
rulity.
Although perfect magpic himself
Jones ut once asserted that, above all
other things. he abhorrcd loquacous
person. man or woman. "Of course"
SAID no. zone must expect tongue-wag-
ging in the case of woman, but con-
slant gabblc from man can not en-
,lurc.
"Did il never occur 10 you, Jones,
said the lawyer. "that YOU are yourself
pretty industrious talker, and you
arc by some suspected Of having kissed
the Blarney stono?'
"What. me-" CRED Jones. why,
bir, ] am really man of very few
words. In most companies am sure
that am altogether too reserved and
rcticent; that through my silence, tact
turnitv and uncommunicativeness / am
frequently suspected of being. in some
sort. q spy upon those present; in fact,
that cause among those in the room
q feeling OF uncasncss and depres-
sion.
That sir, no one will dispute" said
Littleton Coke, dryiv.
The lawyer had seated himself ut his
open front window, both in order to
obtain some relief by gazing out into
the street and that the fresh air might
fan his brow and cool his rising wrath.
Glanc ng far down the street he saw Il
block or more away, MIR. SIN TIL bore
No. ,. This was ipecacuanha upon
castor oil! 1t was PLAIN to Littleton
Coke that the twin bore was heading
for his Office.
a sudden thought flashed across his
brain. Turning to Jones he 81 d: at
may be all rs you say, but the proof of
tho pudding is in the eating. Now.
lust for tho fun Of the thing, and to
prove 10 you that you do not know
yourself, Ill bet you So that you can
not 90 into that closet and remain
there half an hour without speaking or
coming out
"l'll take the bet" cries Jones. with
vivacity. 81 am as sure Of the money
as if already haG it in my pocket.
What time is il now"
Just half past two o'clock. If you
do not speak or como forth you'll have
won lour money ut three clock.
Bear in mind. however. that you are to
remain in the closes w tn the door
cioscd-in tho dark you know--for half
an hour, aud that yon arc neither 10
speak nor come out no mater What
may occur.
"Quitc satisfactory; but you are not
to set the house GU fire. nor arc you to
fire your revolver through the closet
door."
"Nonsensc!''
"And YOU are to coll mc exactly al
three o'clock"
''Most assurcdly-to the minute.
Also, you shall have chair while in
the closet. | will not require you to
stand"
Jones had but Just been sniigly seat.
ed in the closet and the door closed
upon him. when Smith came pulling w
the stairs.
Both Smith and Jones arc dabb'crs
N -curbstonc brokers and stree,
corner capitalists. Both value them
Gclves highly "a experts in all manner
of mining matters.
As soon as Smith entered the room
he began abou. his favorite mining
stock. "Wcll. littlctoD, cried he
"thc Golden Sh .wer Is beginning tc
show up we'll in the west cross-cut from
the main north drift on the 900 level
ut the point where they are making
the up raise. Thai stock let YOU hav,
ut bed rock will 60 up now. You ]
come out all right on ii yet. The stock
has touched bottom. She's touched
bottom sure! Now shc'll go up-th'
least thing will sond her upp'
II don't pretend to know" said thu
lawyer, ''but our friend Jones. who u
as sharp on stocks rs any man Of M
acquaintance. SAYS Golden Shower has
Only just begun to tumble; that 1t W
go so far low bed rock that dyna
mite will nc. scrj IL up-swcars h,
would no. give ono bit an acre for sucl
ground.
Smiths eyes flashed aud his hal
brstled.
"lIa" lo snortcd. ZONES saws that
docs he? The asst What does b.
know about the Golden Shower. or an.
other m. neP II you listen to Jones, h
will land yo'.r boat for you dcvils