The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-11-12

all his own, and no man lives who car
fix a law thereto. His was horse sense
expressed in the plain Saxon of homely
people. lie turned out aphorisms grin
ming with truth. If his lectures were
nOIdescript it is because they lacked
unity and coherencv. not matter. de
was neither Artemus Ward nor the droll
and brilliant Phoenix. nor Bob Burdette,
nor Mark Twain-that everybody
knows: he was Josh Billings, kind OF
Old Nan of the Mountain, who talked
wisdom to the people with his books
and came to amuse them with the
same, expounded in his dry but humor-
Gus way, from their platforms.
In certain localities, says repre-
sentative of the Redpath Lyceum Blu
reau. Josh Billings was in demand, and
could command one hundred and fifty
| dollars for lecture. being called for in
! tirst-class courses: but he was Of that type
and grade of lecturer who does his best
business when visiting a place the first
time. He was then curiosity. 1t was
joke of his that he was once invited to
lecture in a Pennsylvania town. He
went, but found no advertising had
been done nor any preparation made.
He was referred to young man, who
told him he had been called there to adj
dress about twenty-five fellows, who
wanted to lock themselves in, chew
tobacco. and be comfortable. Josh
Billings agreed. and got his seventy-tive
dollars for that star-chamber lecture.
The only relevancy that the title, milk"
had to the lecture of that name was that
Billings drank a glass of milk at its
outset. Such was the Oddity of his life,
his thinking, and sayings. Here are
Sum ov His sayings"
at il better to no less than to kno so mulch
that amt SO.
"a broken reputashun is like broken
vase; it may be mended, but always shows
where the krak was.
"lf you kant trust a man for the full
amount let him skip. This trying to get an
average on honesty has always been fail
ure.
.-Thare is no treachery in silence-silence.
is a hard argument to beat.
Don't mistake habits for karacter. The.
men Ov the most karacter hav the fewest
habits.
''Thare liz cheats in all things-even pizon
IL adulterated.
"The man who IL thoroughly polite IL 2
thirds oy Christian emmy how.
an art.
''Thare il a great deal ov learning in this
world, which III moth 'ng more than trielng to
prove what we don't understand.
mi dear boy. there are but few who kan
commence at the middle of the ladder and
reach the top-and probably you and don't
belong to that number
lone OV the biggest mistakes made yet liz
made by the man who thinks he is temper
ate. Just because he puts more water in his
whisky than his neighbOr does
Josh Billings had a lecture called
1.-The Probabilities of Life; perhaps rain
and perhaps not" The following is
representation, the fidelity of which
many will recognize, of Josh struggling
with that serio-cOmic feat:
In 1873 Josh Billings lectured at st.
Joseph. Mo-, to large audience. The
next morning he went into the First
National Bank, just across the street
from his hotel to get the proceeds of
his lecrure-some $500. mostly in 81
and 81 bills. exchanged for bills of !
larger denominations. The cashier,
josiah Hull, was temporarily busy, |
and Josh turned aside to a street !
window 10 await his turn. Joseph c. !
Corby, proprietor of the st. Joseph |
Gazette. entered on business He had |
heard Josh lecture the night previous.
him at once, and engaged |
him in a casual conversation, during |
which Josh exhibited his roll" re-
that as he was on his way to |
San Francisco over the Union Pacific |
line he was afraid they would charge
FIN for extra baggage if he carried that
big wad along, and that he had come .
to get it reduced. In few minutes
the cashier was at liberty, the two
stepped to the counter. and Corby
introduced Josh to Mr..
Hull.
why don't you introduce yourself
irst?" said Josh, turning abruptly upon
Corby.
Corby made as graceful an apology
IS a man could who was half-em-
and three-fourths mad, and
they shook hands and were friends, but
Corby will never forget his first
to Josh Billings. Toledo
Cor. Chicago Inter Ocean.