The Red Cloud chief., 1885-04-24
sMucmucoeRy.


The Astonishing Ch.nses which Re.siu
FROM Removal Of BEARD ssd Nassseh<.
A wave Of smugmuggery Is cngulfins
the land. To those who do not know
wha; the scientific t.rm smugmugycr,
means. | nigh; explain tha; it refers u
those who transform themselves into
s~mugw1mps by shaving of their whisk.
ers and mustachcs. II is a barber.
boonl-or boon. rather. The result oil
this freak Of fashion is tina, whisker.
and r~lustaches are disappearing with q
rap:dity that is bewilderiny. A per
son passes his best friend and fails to
recognize him-all on account of h.s
sm1gmug.
i desire to point out some Of the dis
as.er' tina. have occurred through the
sllyish following Of til $ new fashion. /
don't su pose that ] shall be able TO
check tbs grow NJ evil. but the in
stances tina. rave come 10 nv knowl-
edge may serve a. q warning to some
VINO have no; yet become smUgwump..
There was John e.. Silver, for iu-
stance. Stivers wore a long. black
beard topped BY a mnstaehe. and yoI
doubtless have noticed when you spoke
70 h;In about anything tina. he nd the
habit of striking his long. black heard
SLOWLY in a way that certainly left the
impression that Stivers was q dcep-a
very deep-.hinker. l know that was
the effect it had on me. | remember a
few weeks ago meeting him. saving:
''Well. Mr.. Stivcrs. looks As il We were
90 ne 10 have a Russian war;
Stivers sirOked his beard thought
fully. and said:
"fes. it looks that way. But -
well. you wait a few DAYS"
Now" said l to myself AS l left him.
''there 5 4 ma who has studied the
Afghan ma ter in all is bearings. No
tiippant opinion there
We'll. OF course You We seen Stivers
since he shaved. The weak. irresolute
mouth and rcced NJ cEia is now in full
view. | happen to know that in a very
short time he was To have been taken in
as a partner in the house of Ready.
Made & Co. the ~c!O:hicrs. whose con-
fidential clerk he has been for so many
ycarS-managcr ! might say. Now he
think, his whole trouble arises from the
fnct that. when lie weat into the e>tab-
lishmcnt just after shaving Mr.. Made
approached him smilingly and said:
anything we can show o today.
s!r?' OF course it made "A big laugh
when the clerks saw that old Made had
been trying TO sell something to his own
manager. bu. that was not the trouble.
Mr.. Ready himself told me- that it as
tonished him to think they had ever
sought the advice OF such 4 man, and of
course now any mistakes that had hap
pened in over prrchasc and that sort Of
thing were laid TO the charge of S.;vers'
Suggestions. Now he is out OF employ
mint. and no one ever prefixc, the
'.Mr." t. his name. 1t is pitiful to
see the way his hand wanders a;mlessly
around his smooth face searching for
the lost beard.
Then there was DIR. Schuyler Brown.
lie saw his mistake in time, and has
left the city till his beard grows on
again. HIS patients positively refused
to BE- prescribed for by SO boyish n look
ing man. By the time he lost half his
practice the facts of the case dawncd on
him. and his leaving Will doubtless
hiring back patients and beard.
L see by the papers that Mrs. Simp-
kins Calendar has got her divorce from
poor Simpk rs. OF course the very
sight Of his smugmug in court was
enough to turn the ease against him.
Simpkins wasn't a bad -lOo,ing fellow
when bearded like y pard. but the
transformation was something awful. !
Why the man was idiOtic enough to !
shave is 4 mystery to his friends. He
ought to have remembered how he
looked without n beard.
The fashion spares neither cd nor
young. mt old John Mortimer yes .
teriay on. for the first tine in three
weeks. and he loOkei hageard with the
gray stubble Of a three weeks growth
on his face. ! think it served John
right. l told him a month ago that
that brutal dog would kill somebody
yet; but Mort mcr thought because the
dog knew him il Wa all right 1t was
uscless to tell oil Mortimer thai the
brut, had selected samples of the clio IL
ing Oi every friend that had the coar-
age to call a. the house. When the old
man came home that night shaycd
smooth the dog did not recognize him.
and So KEEP: him up the tree in the front
yard till Mrs. Mortimer and Young
john came home from the singing
meeting. Young John would have
bro ,ght him down from the tree with
his revolver. too. il he had hid it with
him. for the old man was so hoa'se with
shouting that he could not speak above
a whisper. and they thought he was a
freed tramp.
1t s rather curious how the scar on
the upper lip of that McAdam who WAS
arrested last week for the Chicago de-
faication led 10 his being identified.
No n was moe astonished than
Brown sad he would hav.
him with IN amount The
ease has tccn SO fully reported in the
papers that il is needless for one to 20
over it. Seems to me McAdam would
have consulted safety than fash
ION. His mustache will have a chance
10 grow before he is at liberty to select
his own barber again.
You might have noticed in the society
some weeks ago that Young
Froman was Engaged to Stimson Jones'
Well. haf match is oil. Game
of with Fromsn's beard. .Shc said she
had no idea the corners Of his moutl
his ears to such an extent.
She we dared say anything funny
for fesc he would smile. Finally the
match was broken oil. She couldn't
stand taat mouth.
OF course the above instances are
well known: otherwise / would no.
-
Of smugmuxgery. Let the Young
men of this country think twice before
hey SNUG their mugs.-AHti Sma9mMg.
10 Detroit Free Press.