Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-06-04

Legal Tender.
The Niagara Falls hackman contends
that he belongs to the natural scenery
and shouldn't be removed.
Friction matches are now made at
the rate of 24,000 per minute, and the
children can have plenty to play with.
Dio Lewis has lived SO high while
recommending everybody else to
starve that he doesn't feel very well
himself.
The people who rent houses In New
York city have made no demand for
rents to come down. All they ask is
for the walls to stand up.
1t takes two weeks to recover from
the effects of pepper thrown into the
eyes. Be satisfied to take these fig
ures instead of the pepper,
Recent events prove that Riel had
more blab than fight in his compost
tion. He probably expected to be
bought off instead of attacked.
Nicolini not only played billiards
when he should have been singing Tor
Mapleson, but he played such a poor
game that everybody stuck him.
A wildcat, which escaped from the
Cincinnati Zoo three months ago,
has been the means of keeping 10000
boys home o. nights ever since.
A New York State woman pointed
an old pistol at tramp and it blazed
away and killed a S35 calf. She ought
TO have pointed Il at the calf.
The Rev. Tom Bcecher has made Il
request in his will that his body be
cremated and that his widow avoid
wearing black. Nothing captious
about him.
What on earth the army wants of a
$4,000 balloon is q mystery, but the
Ordnance Board has ordered one
made. Perhaps it is to give the Off,
GERS an airing,
The building inspectors of Chicago
have held an inquest on a structure
which tumbled down, and come to the
conclusion that "it probably was moi
substantially erected
They took three ounces Of brains
away from Pennsylvania man with.
out injuring his smartness in the least
There isa great deal of waste material
about the human body.
A horse at Charleston tipped over
couple of bee.hiycs to see if they con
tanned oats or bees. 1t panied hin
considerably to discover that oat
weren't left lying around in that shape
One reason why England shouldn'
allow Russia to seize Herat is becaus,
she intends to give ii new name il
case of possession. 1t will be calle,
Popotfkoskoyitch or some such thing
The son of BarrioS, who is in schoo
at West Point, wants TO go to Guate
mala and avcnge the death of hi
father, but his landlady has forbidden
him to leave the house until his boart
bill is rccelpted.
The newspapers in Liberia hav
formed 4 ring, and run the price o
advertising lost COW or Il cook want
ed up to twenty-five cents. The ex
citcment is intense, and indignan
crowds are holding public meetings.
t A New Yorker wants a divorce o
the grounds that his wife, who was
widow when he married her, SAT-
2 nothing about her children, but ha
; five whom she suddenly rushed in o.
D him before the honeymoon had waned
The Lowell Citizen has learned tina
a melon growing upon 4 shrub is th
latest fruit novelty in California
When this new style becomes general
a ly adopted melon stealing will not
. near 50 hard on fellows back as it
e now.
i James Fenton took Il walk in Chica
90. A female at window smiled o
him. He rang the bell, was knocke
' down by man, and finally recovere
+ sense enough to understand that tn
smile was intended for poodle do
I on the street
: If you have COuntry-srat fashio
demands that YOU must name il aftC
the naples or bceches, If YOU don
happen to have one, and can hardl
pay your rent in town, fashion wi
permit you to call the old shant
a "Idlcwild, " Elm Hall, or somethin
Il Of that sort DctroH Free Press.