The Press., 1885-04-09
IN. Y. Sun.) CALEB WEEKS'S JOKE.


 i Mr. Charles Gayler sat at a table ill the Hoffman House. on Monday evening, de- scanting on the merits of canvashacks late 1 in the season. He had just emptied a pint bottle, when John Mcbride Davidson 1 sat down at the next table. A companion began to recount some of Davit3son's pranks in the days when Harry Felter was alive Everybody roared, and Gayler shock his leonine head until it looked like a halo of silver around the face of the set ting sun. "The greatest practical joker l ever knew, " said Gayler, lighting Gu Dano, twas Gale Weeks. He was publi- can and sinner Every old New Yorker knew him. He kept H tavern years and years ago out on the old Jamalca plank road. He spared neither age nor sex, ac- quaintance nor stranger. He was always on the lookout for retaliations, and few were able to play return matca' against him successfully. Once ill his life, how ever, he was fairly caught. I ''He had been roistering ia New York, a brought mp at Frank Monteverdes, 8 noted pl,ce of social resort iu Veseey street. Drinks were abundant, stories plentiful, and jokes numerous. Colonel Bill Porter of the Spirit, Phil Author, Jim Gus, Lewls Gaylord Clarke and others of that ilk were there Towald midnight an old acquaintance of Cale's staggered ifl, and 1t was not long before Gale had badly sold hlm and mulcted him in sundry rounds of drinks. As he went out he said :: All right, Gale; you got the best Oh me tonight, old boy, but I'll get even, aud you can gamble on it..
 ''Cale secured room at the Aston House 1 that night, renewed the fun on the next day, and did not leave for his roadside ho- 1 kr,1 ofko married man. His residence was a pretty cottage, which stood about 100 yards from the Jamaica plank road, near his tavern: His wife was middle-aged lady, and was Il notable honsekeeper. There was not 8 speck of dust to be seen anywhere, the parlor blinds were always down to keep out the light, and the old-fashioned furui- tllre stood prlm and polished against the walls. The lady always had broom in one haud, duster or brush ill the oth- CT, aud she was rarely seen without bib check apron and handkerchief around her head, tlrban fashion, to keep the dust from her hair. Gale bossed the tavern, but she bos4ed the household and Gale, too, whenever Gale was in 1t. Gale never tried any of his jokes on her.
 Just after dinner time, the second day after Gale played the joke on his friend at Frank Nonteverde's, the friend drove un- der the shed of the inn. After taking a 4 drink he sannterrd out aud strol'ed down the rosd. He opened gate and moved mp the path leading to the cottage. Mount ing the steps, he seized the brass knocker, which shone like gold, and gave loud rat tat-'at. The door was opened, and 8 mid dle-aged lady, with broom in one hand, a Gduster ill the other and handkerchief round her head. appeared.
 "Is MT. Weeks in? :? the stranger in quiret
 "'No, he isn't was the reply, and don't know where he is-somewhere ill New York, I guess. He hain't been home in two nights
 CT cilled to collect little bill.
 "'Well, you'll have to see him." she re piled What is it ?
 '''A bill for some jewelry-a gold watch and chain and diamond ring.
 "'What Gold watch and "'Can see Mrs. Weeks :? he asked, ir the most innocent manner, iuterruptine the burst of eloquence emanating from the lady.
 "'See Mrs. Weeks ? she exclaimed, be- traying considerable nervousness. To be sure you can, if You haint blind. I'm Mrs. Weeks.
 "'Oh, excuse me, ma am. There must be some mistake. I mean young Mrs Weeks--Mr. Caleb Weeks's wife. "'Tm the only Mrs. Weeks there is I'm Caleb Weeks's wife, and I'm not as ol6 as Methusalem, either
 "'Of course I don't doubt your word ma'am: but there must be some mistake. Really, I-'
 "'I tell you there sint no mistake How could there be ?''
 "'Well, you see-yon1l excuse me, hope-bnt the lady to whom MT. Weeks introduced me as Mrs. Weeks, aud fol whom he purchased the jewelry, was CT tainly not you.
 ''Broom and duster fell fell to the floor and bo.h the lady's hands rested upou hel hips as with her arms akimboo she ex claimed, "What! not me? Another wo man-and he bought her watch and chain and diamond ring ? "'Yes, ma'am, and here's the bill $225. "'What! Two hundred and twenty five dollars, |. his true, lawful, slavin wife, hev been a beggin' and prayin for E new black silk dress for morn four years , When did he buy emp
 "'Day before yesterday ; "'What Day before yesterday, and Inc haiu't been home since, the villain Wha kind of a lookin'. woman was this young Mrs. Weeks?'
 "'Well, I should say she was not ovel 20, and very handsome, fine figure, ligh , blonde hair, dep blue eyes, smal mouth, aud very swhite teeth She was ! elegantly dressed. # He wanted to give he, another ring b sides, but she wouldn't have it. She said she'd rather have an otter-skir t sacque.
 "'An otter skintsacqne Oh, I'll sacgue him and her, too If ever get hold on her The villau, to leave his poor wife here dustin, swtepi',', toilll.' from dwight til dark to save. a penny, and he goes ano spends $225 ou jewe1ry, and the Lord only knows how much for au otter-skin sacque and the poor woman buast into t. ars and hid her face ill her check apron. '"rhe man apolog,zed for having unwit tingly caused htrso much pain, and prom ising to see Mrs. Weeks on his return | home from the city, withdrew, leaving : Mrs. Weeks on the verge of mysteries. He :. strolled back to the tavern, where, taking seat on the porch, he quietly awaited re suits. 1n half hour Gale was espied driv ing quietly down the road seated in hi light wagon and carelessly fi,cking the flies from his hors-. Hello, old man ! he said jumping from lis wagon. When did yo, com. S' Esr $s