The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-02-19
ARP'S BUDGET.
"BIlly In the Low Ground" 1hr. weel

thoughts. ttlS perfectly yhorriGle-nwful
hut | reckon it is all right. | reckon so
l wish there was not tooth in my head
When they come, they come with pai,
and peril, and keep the poor child mis-
erable. and when they 60 they go with 1
torture that no philosophy can endure
Oh, my poor jaw-just look how it j.
swollen. am sight. a pitiful pros
pect. ! look like bloated bond holder
on one side of my face and no bonds tc
comfort me. | wonder what woult
comfort man in my fix. Ihave suffered
more mortal agony from my teeth than
| from everything else put together. Sam.
son couldn't pull them hardly, for they
are all riveted to the jawbone. have
been living in dread for month, for |
knew that eyetooth was fixing up trouble
and SO yesterday morning il sprung n
leak at the breakfast table, and jumped
out Of my chair. The shell caycd in
The nerve was touched. and in my agony
gave one grnan and retired like it was
a funeral. Five miles from town and no
doctor. Don't put down what suffered
all that day, and the night following, for
you can't. Mush poultices aud camphor
and paragoric and bromide and chloro.
form and still the procession moved on,
aud the jumping, throbbing agony sent
no flag OF truce-no sessation of hostili
ties. What do care for anything.
Don't tell me about Hendricks being in
Atlanta. don't care where he is. Yes
do. He il a good man, but I've got no
time 10 think about him now. Please
give me some Of that camphor. I've
burned all the skin off my mouth now
but It IL countpr-irritant and sorter
scatters the pain around. If I had some
morphine | would take it for want rest.
| am tired. Oh, for one short hour of
rest
Write something, my daughter-wri,e
to the Constfufion and explain. Tell
them l am BILLY in the low ground"
am suffering and want sympathy Write
note to the doctor, and tell him to
come, come quick. can't go through
another night. Oh. my country. Let
mo try that hot iron again. III cotk
this old fat jaw outside and inside.
wish had no tongue. for can't keep it
from touching the plagued tooth. Just
look ut my gums. they have swelled up
30 you can hardly see the old tooth.
Give me n knife and hand glass. I'll
see if | can't let some blood ont of those
strutting gums. am 30 nervous I can't
hardly hold the knife but here she goes
Oh, my country, now give me the cam.
phor and III let it burn in a new place
just write line to the Constitution, I
don't care what say am sick. won
der if the doctor will come. He will
kill me know. 1t is awful to think of
cold steel clamping this tooth and bring
Jammtd away up on these gums. III
take chlorofnrm ! reckon for can't stand
it. l ain afraid he will come. want
him and don't want him. The last
tooth had pulled went to the dentists
office like n hero and l was glad he
wasn't in-glad his door was locked
and for two more days ! endured my
agony and then had to have it pulled at
last. And he pulled me all to pieces
and the chloroform left me before he got
done and had an awful time. The
memory of it is excrucinting. and yet
have got to go through the same thing
again. "Oh, the pity Of it, Iago. the
pity of it," What has n man got teeth
for would like to know. 1t is the brute
that is in him, the dog or the old Adam
that evoluted from the monkeys. There
is nothing God like about teeth. They
bite, that is all. They are called "ca.
hines" saw man bite another mans
nose off once-the teeth did it. The
eye is God like, angelic, beautiful, harm
less. The eur is good thing too, for it
takes in the harmonies of nature and
makes music sweet-music that is the
only thing common to angels and to men.
The nose is gentle and ornamental, but
is not of much consequence except to
blow off bad cold and tell the differ.
ence between cologne and Goldfish, but
the teeth. Well, l think that false ones
are better than the genuine for they
never ache. l don't care for any now
l am tired. These women can have eight
or ten pulled at one time-just to get n
new set. How in the world do they
stand it? Pride, reckon, womanly
pride. womanly nature. Her love of the
beautiful. But we men can wear u mus.
tache and hide whole set of rotten
snags. If women had beard the dentists
would perish.
There she goes again, and then boom.
Let me try some more paregoric and
canPhor,. May be can 60 to sleep after
while If will keep dosing. ! wish
hind that tooth, Just at the end of the
roots. l would explode il if itkil!ed me.
The doctor coming you say! Ierciful
heavens! Well, let him come. In the
language of Patrick Henry, II repeat it,
sir, let him come" Lay on, McDuff2
cold steel fercepa, wrenching, twisting
crushing, gouging. I don't believe I
have got friend In the world. almost
wish was dead. Teeth are a humbug
"a grand mistake-.a blunder-an eye.
tooth especially that sends its root away
IN uudpr tha ava and tua ko. On ahcaes q
there. They say child is smart when
rather do without and be fool. I have
but will compromise on anything but
the toothache. I've great respect for
dentists, for they do the best they can to
agony.
Good morning, doctor. 1 suppose
am the unfortunate individual you have
come to doctor: am ready for the sack.
Get out your chloroform and your steel
Is that dagger that see before me?
asleep now. The long agony is over.
For nearly one hour we all wrestled with
him, for the chloroform gave out. He
Lad taken so many things before the
doctor came, that chloroform failed "a
subdue him. 1t only made him deliri.
Gus, and when we could net hold him
we called in our blacksmith. aud even
then he pulled us all over the room, and
the doctor bad to take him on the wing.
The old shelI crushed and the roots had
10 be dug out in Fragments. 1t was pit,
ifnl to hear him beg to go home. He
hno pphs L. II t A