Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-07-31
NARROWLY ESCAPED LYING
An Incident in the Early Married Life
of a Broker Proved a Warning.
From the Neto Yorb Sun.


From the NelO Yorb sun.
81 deelareV observed a Wall street
man the other evening as he pulled out
his pocket letter, crumpled and creased
beyond all semblanee OF smoothness,
there is letter my wife asked me to mail
a week ago, and have never thought of
it since that time"
"W hat did you do that forP' asked an
acquaintance, as the broker tore the let
ter into pieces and threw them on the
floor.
"Her correspondent would have dis
covered the delay and written to my
wife about it and then she would blame
me-"
"She needn't have known you delayed
it. Lay tie blame on the office boy"
"NO," replied the broker, with decision
81 hate to lie. Pm man OF truth. | will
tell all about it, and then she can write
another letter"
"rhat is a foolish way of getting into
trouble"
''Not at all. Let me relate an incident.
| Several years ago, soon after we were
married, my wife once asked me to write
to her cousin Jim and ask him to come
and spend few weeks with us. Jim was
my wife's taVOrite cousin, and ! liked him
as we'll AS she did; but the truth of the
matter was had Just started in business,
and couldn't afford to entertain any com
pany. 1t was all | could do to make both
ends meet and keep up appearances. Of
| course / ought to have confessed this to
my wife, but | dreaded to do 1t. That
was where | made my colossal blunder.
So when she suggested the visit to me,
| protested to be delighted with the plan.
"'1 gu write to bim,' she said.
"I WILL replied.
"'TO-morrowY said she.
Morning ] said.
'tAud so it was settled. But, bless your
soul, had no intention of writing that or
any other morning. When came home
to dinner my wife asked me If | had writ
ten to jim.
81 intended to- said but have been
too busy. l have hardly had time to
breathe all day.
"The next morning she said:
"'Of course, you will write to cousin
James to-day
"'I certainly shall, my DEAR replied.
"When l came home that evening she
asked me if | had written. told her
that l was just on the point Of doing so
when q man fell deasl while he was read
ing the tape in our Office. The next day
this same mans funeral prevented my
writing. The day after | said that as l
was sitting at my desk, pen in hand, a
section of the roof fell in, and I escaped
with extreme difficulty. The following
day invented a story about my partners
mother. killed that estimable woman
in railroad accident. OF course that
prevented my giving any attention to pri-
Yate business. The next day to this | had
sent my Office boy for postage stamps,
but the careless boy allowed himself to
be run over by an express wagon and
killed.
''rhIs sort of thing went on for a fort
night, until it began to wear on my con-
stitution. Life gradually became bur
den to me, and | was fast growing a
nuisance to my friends. l used to lie
awake at night and wonder what in
TOphet ! would tell my wife the next
night, and during business hours l was
often so absent,minded that it attracted
general remark. One day when one of
our best customers asked me what had
been doing all day, L graVely told him that
/ had been attending his wife's funeral.
As the man was unmarried he accepted
my reply with something akin to doubt,
and, although / tried to explain matters,
l only made it the worse, and he left the
Office under the impression that was on
ready reached that point, and he after
ward said as much to my partner.
"At the beginning OF the third week my
partner came to me one day and asked
me whether / did't think had better take
a little vacation. l told him i didn't see
how that would mend matters any, The
poor fellow didn't say anything, but he
shook his head significantly, and l felt
that was rapidly becoming an object to
behold.
FINALLY, after killing two Office boys,
burying all of my partners relations,
and witnessinganO end of distressing ac-
cidents, all of which kept me from writ
ing to cousin Jim, made up my mind
that death was to be preferred to any
more of this way of living. One even
ing as ! came home l found my wife in
tears.
"'Oh, john she sobbed, as she threw
herself into my arms.
"'What's the matterp | exclaimed in
alarm.
Il didn't know but what her father
might have failed in business or some
thing awful had happened.
"'YOu heard from cousin Jim,' she
cried.
Il made no reply. | was dumb with
horror. She had evidently invited him
herself.
"'And,' she continued, lit won't do any
good 10 write to him.
"'Then he is coming anyway
"NO,' she sObbed; 'he's dead
II said was sorry, but know my face
must have shown the unholy JOY / felt, for
my wife Immediately left the room, re-
marking that | was "A wretch who didn't
deserve to have had even MOTHER IL was
great relief to me, though. If he had
not died ! think should have done some
thing desperate"
"Killed yourselfY suggested the list
ener.
"No," responded the broker. "Hardly
that. But If / had continued making ex-
cuses much longer 1 think j should GER
tainly have been obliged TO tell lie."
HUNTING FOR OLD FURNITURE.
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