The National tribune., 1885-07-16
SUMMER JOY.

As up the scented lane they stroll;
A small. white hand just lightly grasped,
Two heads beneath one parasolI
New York Trfbune: story good, whether trus
| or not, is told of pronsinen: Democrat. an
officeholder. He riding with VIM. r TTzyeTs
the witty Wall Street They stopped nj an inn
and Mr.. Travers went inside while his corrpalsion
waited in the carriage. The landlord inquired as
to who Dir. Travers's companion and odd
his name. Hes big fellow, isn't hep" said
mine host refectively, looking at the CREST frame
Of the Democratic politician. =" B-bis:" said the
wit, B-big? You j-just ought to s-see Elm hs
was as b-big as he thinks he ISL
Boston Post: The Rev. Sam Jones advises US to
"kick this old world we would a rubber eaIl.n
No. guess not Sam; we've the trick before only
it done by placing common strawberry
blonde brick beneath sntiquated tile the side
walk. 1t is pretty good trick, Samuel, but 1t viii
only take outside the city limits.
London Fun: A coincidence: All alone, my
dear child. I'm afraid that husband of yours neg
leets you terribly. He's always at his club when
call" YES mamma; but he's at home at all oiiier
times.
Buffalo Express I" What do you suppose III look
like when get out of this +" snapped young lady
at the conductor of an overcrowded street car. "A
good deal like crushed sugar, Miss" said the bell
ringer. And the lady hung on the strap and rode
four miles further, with the smile Of an angel.
Eureka Sentinel: After dinner yesterday
Old Frend-You ought to be proud of your Wits.
Tom.
Host-Yes?
Old Friend-She's most brilliant talker.
Host-She ought to be.
Old Friend-I could listen to ker for whole
night.
Host (wearily)-I often do.
Exchange: do you ever have n dreadful tired
manufacturer of friend who complained OF nos
feeling well.
"Oh, yes, often" replied the friend.
"You should try bottle of nay cure-an. How
often do you experience this tired feelng?"
Every time see your advertisements tia
fences"
Hprpe's Bazay: He" You don't sing or play.
Then, presume you write paint" She" oh,
no I'm ike the young men we meet in society. I
simply sit around and try to look intelligent"
Boston Transcript: "Charles,n said Mrs Spend
sill, II a beautiful costume at Bzarre's tesay,
and should like it ever and ever so much" And
/ should like to have you have it" replied Charles,
but really, Clara, haven't the money to spare"
"Oh, you great tease! know better than that- I
saw brand new eheck-book in your desk only
yesterday, and not one of the checks had been
used"
Marlboro Times: One of our exchanges says THAI
there We're two gallons of whisky distilled last year
for every individual in the country. We have not
received yet, but think have dons
enough for the present administration, so that We
may confidently call upon Dir. Cleveland to for
ward our quota to this Office at once by express
Possibly there are back numbers to which we ara
entitled. If so. please forward.
Louisville Courier-.JonrnaI: A Northwestern ed
itor declines to marry because great mems sons
hardly ever amount to anything.
Philadelphia Press: Prof Stokes, a New England
scientist argues that IL would be impossible for
human beings to live the surface of the SUM-
Stokes Is probably correct, but if there were any
desirable diplomatic positions vacant up there this
country is full Of men who would be willing to
tryit.
Sun Francisco Post: The car drivers decline TO
use sheol as substitute. They say they cannoe
make time on II.