The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-11
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

A warm purr- THE cats skin.
One legged orators are always success
ful on the stump.
It's smart child after a shingle inter-
view with its father.
A soft answer turneth away wrath, but
a club keeps it turned away.
The way to make an ovcrcoat last is to
make the undcrcoat iirst.-Lyn,s Union.
When bnarder meets spring chicken
then comes the tug of jaw.-i,hiladel-
phia Call.
When II man sees double, it is evident
that his glasses are too strong for him.
Boston Transcript.
Some one says that liquor strengthens
the voice. This is mistake, it only
makes the breath strong
A successful architect may not be an
honorable man, out he certainly has
good designs. s.-1Slftings.
What is joy? To count your money
and know that it docs not belong to
your creditors. = Chicago Lestger.
Caesar conquered Gaul after ten years
of steady lighting, but he was aflerward
''downed" in ten minutes by book
agent. .-Neeman independent.
The girl who said 81 dote on the sea-
the day she sailed, was yelling for an an
dote before the steamer was out of
sight of land-New York Journal
Atmosphcrical knowledge is not
| thoroughly distributed in our schools
A boy, being asked: "What is mist?"
J vaguely responded: can umbrella"
If barber could only hold his own
chin as we'll as he does that of his VIC
tim he would soon be able to use real
bay rum.-Neso York Morning Journal.
Friend-You don't mean to say you
understand French, Tommy2 Tommy
Oh, ye:, do; for when pa and ma speak
French at tea [ know Pm to have pow
der.
Reverend Gentleman-"My child, you
should pray God to make you new
heart" Youthful sinner-"So l did,
papa, four days ago; guess it isn't done
yct."-LJe.
'Trines light as air may sometimes
Yes yes, they may, and biscuit heavy
thing. - Chicago Ledger.
ga Los Angeles ranchcr has raised
i pumpkin SO large that his twin children
| use each a half section for cradle.
| That's nothiin' In this city four full
grown policemen have been found asleep
| on q single bcat.-.Sun Franciscan.
The Boston girl never says, 'Tt's cold
day when get left" She removes her
| glasses, carefully wipes them with her
lace bordcred handkerchief, and observes,
''The day is extremely frigid when I'D
| aband doned. ."-Boston Courier.
In Patagonia they fine a man two
goats for killing his wife. The law is
very strict on the subject, too, and if
the fine isn't promptly paid he is com
| PEELED to marry again. That makes him
hustle around for the goats. -Binghamton
Republican.
The fishing season is '4on." "What
did you catch yesterday" asked Peoria
urchin, with pole and an oyster can,
to another boy. 'Just what you'll
catch when you get home," said the
other, morosely, rubbing his shoulders.
And then each smiled sickly smile. and
the convention slowly and solemnly ad-
iourned without date.-Peori0 Trans.
cript.
A New York Sunday-school teacher
told her pupils that when they put their
pennies into the contribution box she
wanted each one to repeat Bible verso
suitable for the occasion. The first boy
dropped in his cent. saying: "The Lord
lovcth a cheerful giver" The next boy
dropped his penny into the box, saying:
"Hc that giveth to the poor lendeth to
the Lord.' The third and youngest boy
dropped in his penny, saying: "A fool
and his money are soon parted. ."-Detron
Journal.