Morning journal and courier., 1885-09-24
CHILLING.


 The chilling winds now make shiver- Good madame, can't you give us more xiv er@Chicags Sun.
 We do not know as ghosts are liable to disease, but we have heard of the cholera in Standardization Independent.
 A poet entered our sanctum yesterday on tip-toe. He went out in similar manner, but it was on the tip of our toe.-Yonkers Statesman.
 The government will go in debt in order to feed the Utes. The noble red man is as yet so uncivilized that it has not yet occurred to him to get trusted at the grocery store.- Louisville Courier Journal.
 The poet who sent us fourteen verses of poetry last week signed ttBard," is respect fully informed that he is barred, and barred forever, from sending anything to this pa per.-Cincinnati Merchant Traveller.
 She: ''I don't like my bonnet now that I've got it. It doesn't match my hair at all." He: 'eYou ought to have thought of that before you bought it." She: ''My bon net?" He: "No, your hair. ."-Boston Transcript.
 tsBehold how great matter little fire kind1eth," The telegraphic report that ssthe Puritan hugged the Genesta all the way down the bay to the whistling buoy'' is said to have led to three matrimonial engage ments in western town.-Springfeld Union It Wouldn't Work.-Seedy individual Do you deliver money to any address? Ex ! press Company Clerk: Certainly, sir. How much do you wish delivered? ssWhat's tn, charge on $1 ,OO0a' ''One dollar" "sWell 1 here's fifty cents. Just pass me out $500 sonny, and be lively" Curtain falls o1 l sidewalk scufHe, with the clerk underne ath. Philadelphia Call.
 Oh, yes, my child, your natural histor.
 tells the truth, presume, when it says thu
 rattlesnake, owl and prairie dog live togethe in piece. Indeed, it might be a little nor
 explicit and say in one piece; in fact, in tn l same piece, as the rattlesnake never masti 1 cates his food, but bolts his dinner whole 1 What is his dinner hole? The hole dow /! his neck of course.-Burdette in Brookly1
 Eagle.
 1 The following is real sletter from boy, l aged eleven: ''I send back this cur which 1 hope will bring out virtues. I send him un der the pretense of your giving him away | allowable but if you find an owner for hir l who will take him under the simplicity o taking care of him do so by all means. Yo l will think by his manner that he has beel l ill-treated, but it is owing to his sneaking de ficiency face. He has been treated with the ut most tendency The food which he relishe
 best is chickens on the wing. Posts, rails
 buckets and other garden utensils do no goo l for his epidemical hide-when not we'll fe I he barks doors. Although we have not touch
 ed upon his good qualities we will now be I gin. He has a tendency to drive COWS, bIl
 not at the right time. I will name the vic
 tims which he has fought-a black dog wit yellow hair and spunky little pug. A ba beginning may mean good ending in tn l dog-life. I think he will come out genuin 1 dog in the end-all he lacks is lustre. '-Bos l ton Transcript.
 | Henrietta's gone to vassar, gum, gum, gum, I Louise is at the singing school, hum hum, hum! l Tom is in the melon patch, mum, mum num- | Bill is in the barroon, rum, rum, rum l Fathers at the counting room, sum, sum, sum- Kate and Ned are all alone, yum, yum, yum! I Chicago Sun