New-York tribune., 1885-01-31

Pen-i-ten-tia-ry.
Mr.. uawes the well-known iLondon clergyman.
preached illustrated the other evening on ST.
Pauls Cathedral After the oratorio selection
WAS given by an enlarged surpliced choir and an
orchestra All his sunday evening services are popular
in their character and he finds dculty in filling his
church.
Pul1ue Mexican national drink made Of the fer
in Ike yeast It only costs cents quart and 10
cents will make drunk as naboD IL leaves no
head the next morning. lEl Paso star
A pamphlet has just been published in England recom-
mending that all parents who nave more thah 'nree
children be fined
stopned by n pedestrian Monday. When the engineer
asked: What is r. he replied. wanted to see
the keers stop III Hartford Times
She smote him with the shinge
Because he did not mind his baby brother,
But he soon forgot his pain
And went singing down the lane, .
' -lBoston Courier
Dr. william walsham How. Bishop OF Bedford, Eng
land has become convinced that 1t would tend to
promote morality II marriage with deceased wifes
sister were legalized.
There must be a moral revolution over in Berks
County many people have got religion ana qut drink
ing that saloons have voluntarily gone Out OF business
for lack of custom Look for large Republican gains
il the thing lasts till -lPittsburg Commercial
Gazette.
unfriendly disposition toward the gamblers. the
knights OF the Green" have been very unhappy.
Poker games and exceedingly few OF them, are about
the only games OF chance to bc payednow PROFESSIONAL
gamblers not for poker unless-to use ther own
expression-they can "work" the game. They have
deserted the city large numbers but kilograms ana
letters received by their friends here tell stories OF enor
nous success and thriving businesstht hey are uohS
III Orleans and Montreal
Tuy Ngw-YoR TRIBUNE says parlor lectures promise
10 be a popular form OF amusement Paradoxcai as IL
niaSney sght more common Minneapolis Tribune.
Aoisc,sted victim OF the weather has composed the
following little epic:
First II Is slippery.
Then II is sloppery;
Now IL Is skippery,
Now II Is hOpperyi
Jumping and dashng,
Plunging and splashlng.
Muddery, slushery,
Gum shoes and cnshery,
Gossamers. wraps,
Falls and mlshaps,
Arnica, lint
Words not for print
II Is Boston who says that times arc now
"booming because many firms are exploding
West End curate who does great deal OF baptizng
been called upon give the name Almids to no END OF
children ofientlmes to three or ior % he 'n n
same week, i"o "
great request
free-trade is bad egg any way you taket mo
charts OF the TO force 1t Oh the country are
l, ,hose of tie waiter at country Motel VINO Wahteu
st who had ordered fried eggs to nave them scram-
bled "Boss, yer'd better nave dem eggs scrambled
prlro me fried eggs" the guest said, and sambo
,reoted TO the kitchen. returning soon with the same
admonton: "Boss yerd better have dem eggs scram-
hIod Bring me fried eggs" roared the guest sanbo
hrougbt. tnem scrambled. "why in the name of sense
didn't you have these eggs fried T. DE fac is, boss
dey's les er leetle added"
7, the Lord Is willing. and nothing happens the Editor
~ m, Herald will give the road which he Is over
seer n thorough working. We expect to workthe road
until we get Il In good condition. and II the paper
fails TO get ont next week readers can set ~ down
that We will good road II We don't get out the
paper.-[ [Dangerield (Texas) Herald.
The Norsorn Herald puts the weather PROBABILITIES
AT the head OF its OF jokes IL Is thus sure OF
having fresh Joke every time the weather changes
although by the way, The HeraFs Jokes are all fresh
There ia no doubt about the place that st. John Will
occuny I'm history He will be always regarded as one Oh
the most inn ressivc ruins In American politics. -fia-
delpha Press
man got up recently at church meeting In Augusta
Me- and after explaining that he had been reduced from
aueuce to poverty requested the church to him
the sum Of So 900 which he had given to 1t when lie was
wealthy. He didn't getiG
Never sneak of man disrespectfuy, my son; or. II
you must do sO content yourself with referring 10 MIN s
fellow or cad This will not ony cut him up dread
| and dote you ccordngly.--lbCston Transcript