St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-02-12
Squibs.

A cool thousand-Half ton of ice.
A door belle-The pretty maid SER
want.
A charity bawl-" Please give me a
penny
Noah kept his bees in the Ark hives,
we suppose.
The Egyptian question - Are the
cameis comingf
The sentence of the bad republican
Office holders March fonrth.n
$50 Jones had no physician ?" "No.
suicide, as it We're" = New York
Graphic.
An exchange tells how to prepare a
Tartar meal. The first thing neces-
sary is to catch Tartar.
An exchange asks how to remove
paint. We find that coat sleeve will
remove great deal of it.
A carriage maker advertises ''single
and double boobies for sale" We have
seen "A good many single boobies, but
we never met them in twins before
lBur. Free Press. .......
Little Polly has neighbor who has
y
has ride. One day the donkey was
heard to bray, aud Polly, looking up
says Mamma, / like the donkey, but
| don't like to hear him donk. y
+ Youths Companion.
The number of lawyers in New York
has increased seventeen per cent. in
seven years, while the number of doe
tors has grown only three per cent. 1t
is remarked that during this time the
laws have become worse, while the
public health has improved Boston
Transcript.
What variety of amusements this
big country presents, anyhow. You
can anuse yourself amoug palms ut
the exhibition palace, at New Orleans,
or you can wabble around on snow
shoes at the ice palace, at Montreal.
For railroad fares see small bills
Detroit Free Press.
A Vermont farmer reports that he
made profit of $243 from six hens the
past season. He sold them early in
the spring and consequently had to
plant his garden only once SOmer
vile Journal.
Parson Whangdoodie Baxter dis
funeral of an aged cOlored man Our
deceased brudder was married foah
times during his life" said Wang
doodle, ''but only one ob de widows
am so fortunate as to be able to sur
viVe him long enough to be present
on dis heah sOlemnious Ocashun."
When the well-known song, ''Mrs:
Brady's Daughter" was having run,
a lady one day went into Philip .Wer-
leih's store on Bourbon Street, New
Orleans, and, stepping up to a DASH
ing young salesman, said "Mrs. Bra
dy's Daughter" "Glad to know YOU"
replied the young man, extending his
hand. elbow is your mother ~ .
A student at the University of Tex
as, being short OF funds, wrote to his
father, in Galveston "Send me a hun
dred dollars by return mail. He who
gives quickly gives double" The old
gentleman replied by the next mail,
enclosing $50, with the remark that,
as he had responded promptly, the
$50 enclosed were equivalent to the
desired 800. 4
The clerks at Moses Rabbenstein's
were making up box of old clothes TO
a certain poor mission. "I'Ii put in a
coat said one. "FIl put in "A pair OF
pants,n said a third. Finally they
reached Muses.. "What will you put
in, Mr. Rabbenstein ?" asked the
book keeper. .Vell, poys, dimes ish
pooty hart vid me, mt eef eet ish all
der same to you, III yoOst pud in der
bill.
A lady presented the collection box
TO wealthy man noted for his stingi-
ness, and AS usual Le pleaded poverty. !
She quickly responded .'Then take
omettfing out this collection is for
the poor, you know ....
Some weeks ago, says Missouri pa
per, when corn was at its lowest aotch |
a farmer brought. a load to town and
inquired the price. Fifteen. cents;n
was the reply The farmer paused |
and gazed upon the ground thought /
fully. At last he said: 81 wonder if
there Amt any place IN town where ! /
could trade that load Of corn for d load
Vt cobs. I'Ln about out of wood" ~.
.'Father," he said, as he looked up
rom the boot he wac pegging at,
what is an anomaly r. "AnomaJy
Well, what is it 4" '.Why, down in
Southern Illinois corn is selling at fif-
cen cepts bnshel, while in Chicago
{. is worth thirty two" "Well, why
lon't the tarnal fules ship ii 2" ''Be-
.ause tire. railroad freight is two cents /
busheI more than the corn sells at.
And that is an anomaly J" =" Yes"
Looks more like an Internal swindle
n the farmers 49,. ~
d. b.. . n r