New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-01-21
Hunted to the Verge of Lunacy by Mar
riageable Young and Old Ladies'.


els this Pennsylvania avenue, STRIP
asked beautiful young girl this after
noon of dignifed old gentleman,
writes Washington correspondent of
the New York Morning Journal
'.No you don'tr' shouted the old
man, as he pulled off his spectacles and
hoped over the curb. 81 know all
about you young tlirts, and amt so
green as look
The old man threw an eye over his
left shoulder and spurted down the
avenue at top speed, leaving Miss Eva
Dryer covered with bushes and con-
fusion.
The old man who acted in such re-
markable manner is Senator Salisbury
OF Delaware. He is pinch faced man,
and is distinguished by his inorainate
! love of Morris cove oysters and aver
sion to manageable females. A recent
attack of inflammatory rheumatism in
the foot has not improved the old gen
/ tleman's disposition, and his curtness
towards his brother senators has made
him unpopular.
Recently, Senator Wade Hampton,
who is bigger wag since he lost his
leg than ever, started story about
Salisbury that has the effect of making
the latter species of monomaniac.
The story is that Salisbury took a
solemn oath in 1860 never to marry un-
til the democracy won a president, and
that he now intends to lead an heiress
with whose charms he has long been
smitten, to the altar.
The wide circulation of this story has
had the effect of bringing number of
"heiresses" to Washington whose
hearts have fallen prey to the accom-
plished tlrt from Dover, anti the aged
statcsman's existence has lately been =
succession of spasms. A good-looking
female in Gainesborough hat will
| give him a kink in the back as though
h. had been kicked by pile-dryer,
while the approach of giddy little
creature in curls will drive him to the
verge of epilepsy.
His experience to-day is but one of
the twenty or more that he has every
day, and his friends begin to fear that
il something is not soon done for his re-
lief the old man will 60 off in an at
tack of ''collywaf1lcs.
Whenever there is rustic of silks in
the diplomatic gallery the old gentle
man will hop up as though a pin had
been stuck into him, and four times out
of every five that he thus jumps he will
stri>e his game foot against something
and howl with pain.
A laughable scene occurred in the
rotunda the other day, when Mary, the
apple woman, tried to induce the sena-
toreo purchase some of her last years
fruit. She approached him with an
ancient red apple in each hand, and
smiled as swcetly as the loss of her
teeth would permit.
poking his cane at her. Don't you
dare to come near me or I'll have YOU
arrested!''
''But, senator, sure" pleaded Mary,
''you engaged"
'Engagedr' shrieked the Della
warean.
And the old man forgot his rhuema-
tism for once and hoped up the stairs
of the senate chamber like Young
colt.
II had no idea, Z" remarked Senator
Hampton, THAT Salisbury had been so
playful in his youth or would not have
cracked the joke on him. 1t is too bad,
indeed, but suppose it can't be helped
now.'
When Senator Salisbury enters the
senate chamber now, he is at once the
objective point of every opera glass in
the gallery, and many an old sweet
heart of his, grown grey and wrinkled
with weary waiting for the old veteran
to heave to and pop tie question, signs
like walrus when he ports his helm
and sinks into his seat He tries his
best, poor man, to read newspapers and
write letters to his constituents, but it
is plain that his mind is not welded to
either. He will stick his pen in the
paste pot and the paste-brush in tue
ink-bottle, and almost invariably has
his paper upside down. He tried to pass
OFT this latter absence OF purpose the
other day, when his attention was di-
rected to it, by saying that he was left
handed, but the excuse was palpably
lame one. Occasionally he will hide
his head in the Congressional Record
but then he invariably goes to sleep
and has horrible dreams, from which
he will awake with start and call
upon the sergeant-at-arms for pro-
lection.
The condition of the senator, though
painful to his friends, is regarded as a
wholesome example to the junior sena.
tors, who may, it is hoped, avoid much
misery in their old age by leaving fut.
tering hearts to flutter all alone.