Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-01-07
Clearing OFF Timber.

farm In the country. L hardly think
a farm in the city would do. The
horse cars might run over your cows
and the policemen break into your
corn crib and steal your corn.
Well, my uncle received me with
open arms. Said he: "Parmenas,
those heavy editorials that you wrote
me were creating such a profound
sensation in Europe are wearing you
out. Better look out, my boy, and
not strain your brain too much-the
top of your head may fly off some
day"
l enjoyed myself very much at
Uncle Jim's. Nothing was too good
for meat least thought so-and
time slipped away very pleasantly.
As cold weather approached the brac-
ing air seemed to fill me with desire
to exercise my muscles, so one morn
ing l remarked to Uncle jim: "Say,
haven't you got some timber you want
cleared off this winter? I'm an ex-
cellent chopper, and to see the chips
fly and the giant oaks fall crashing to
the earth always fills one with un-
bounded delight. (Once, while in the
army, l hacked down a few small
cedars for frewood) Uncle Jim i'm
mediately got me an AK and piloted
me to the worst looking piece of tim
ber l had ever seen. Most of the
trees were four feet in diameter, and
the underground was as thick as the
hair on dog. Besides, there was an
intricate network Of wild grape vines
woven in among the trees. Uncle
jim said: "There, my boy, amuse
yourself" and left me.
After an hours arduous toll | made
a clearing around one of the largest
oaks, spit on my hands and sailed in.
| managed to get through the bark
after awhile and then sat down and
gasped for breath. | know now why
a mans ribs are built so substantially;
it's to keep woodchOppers' hearts from
jumping through their breasts and
bouncing off into the woods.
When night came / had made
hole in that tree about the size of the
first cut in cheese, and / felt next
morning as if had been run over by
all the artillery and calvary in the
United States service.
was three days in falling that tree.
] cut all around the confounded thing
and then tried to push it down, but it
stood there as firm as the proprietor
of one-price store. / went to the
house and secretly got an old rip-saw,
and tried that on it awhile, but no go.
Another hours superhuman efforts
with the AK, however, made the stub
born old fellow topple aud crack, aud
the next instant he fell with q crash
that shook the earth from Maine to
the Gulf of Mexico. 1t fell across a
new eight-rail fence and killed COW
that was grazing on the other side
killed her as dead as u cove oyster.
l then sat down OH a stump and shed
the first solid tear had shed in six
teen years. To think that | should
toll and sweat and swear for three
whole days just to knock $50 out Of
my dear old Uncle Jim's pocket!
| went sorrowfully to the house,
and when the old gentleman came in
he said "Well, how are you getting
along?" "Got that big tree down."
l replied. (Which way did it fall ?"
asked Uncle Jim. "Downwards," |
answered, "and smashed four panels
of fencing and gave an old spotted
COW such rap that her cud flew fifty
feet. There's nothing salable about
her now but her hide and horns; de-
duct the price of those and charge the
rest to me"
Uncle Jim sank into chair, lean
ed his head upon his hands, groaned
|
and sighed, poor Spotw
Aunt Susan covered her face with her
apron and sobbed, "Poor old Spottyp
The children also set up wall of
lamentation. I was forced to go into
the kitchen and take smoke of the
old mans tobacco to hide my emotion.
Presently he came in and said: "Well,
there's no use crying over spilled
milk" Git was spilled milk in this in
stance, sure enough); "you can go
right OH, clean off that timber, work
the trunks up into cord-wood and
fence rails and the tops into frewood,
and we'll say no more about it,"
"No, Uncle" I feelingly replied,
''tbat would be too slight rcmuncra-
tion you must receive a more gencr- /;
Gus reward. I'll send you my paper
for twenty-five years at 80 year."
The next morning / came home.
There's coolness now existing be.
tween Uncle Jim and me.-Detroit
Free Press.
Their First Quarrel.