The Indiana State sentinel., 1885-06-03
PLEssANrRY.

They we're engaged. She was we'll aware
Of his proximity, bat with assumed inno-
cent unconsciousness she turned her back to
him. BE approached noiselessly and kissed
her. "Obin she screamed, with feigned sur
prise You are a regular electric battery"
Yes" he replied, ''and you know exactly
how 10 stand so as no. to miss the shock. -
Lowell Citizen.
New Reading OF the Proverb.-Smith keeps
a savage cog on his premises, and near its
Fennel a board is displayed with the warn
ing in la'Se letters, Beware of the dog"
says the Boston Courier. ~ suppose" said
Jones, pointing to the warning, you have
painted that sign in large letters so that she
who runs may read. :" NO" said Smith,
"but that he that reads may run"
The woman who never asks her husband
for money has been found. The old man is
in the asylum and she helps HERSELF
Chicago Ledger.
The minister stood up in the pulpit, gray.
haired and with solemn countenance, en-
deavoriDg to impress upon the minds OF his
congregation their utter helplessness when
thsy attempted to battle against the decress
of God
"What can you do?" he shouted, in
ricr, sonorous voice that rang through the
church as cl' arly ss the note from the bugls.
ter on the front seat. She was roller
skater.
Fair Maiden-Father, have come to tell
you that 1 have accepted Mr. Ignorsmus,
and that we are to be married in the spring
Now, would like you to give your consent.
Irate Father-Give my consent to your
marrying such an idiot as he? No; never!
Why, he hasn't brains enough to make suf-
6oient money to buy suspender buttons.
Fair Maiden-But, father, in his profession
il does not require any brains.
Irste Fathel-Whst is his profession?
Fsir Maiden He is a member of the Stale
Legislature. Philadelphia Can.
"Oh, George, I'm ashamed of your rubbing
your lips ike that after that dear little girl
has given you so sweet kissln ''pm not
rubbing it of, nurse. I'm rubbing it in."-
Life.
"You look kind Of down in the gills this
morning, Mr.. Yanks. What's wrong with
you?" "0h, I'm afraid my daughter is going
10 marry that worthless fellow she is going
with" why don't you break off the
match" II can't I've tried to do so in
every way" "Yes, you can. I've got plan"
wv hat is il, prsy?'' why, get skating
rink professor after her. He'll draw her af.
fectioDs away from him, and then you can
easily buy the professor of. See?" Thanks
for the suggestion. I'll do so.'-Kentncky
State Journal.
"Them English are hsvin' right smart Of
trouble over there in Africa, hain't they ?"
remarked an old tsrne from up in Michi.
gan.
''Yes, indesd."
I've been watchin' Of 'em all winter,
and dye kn.w what their campaign over
there remind me or"
NO"
"Wall, sir, used or have big Berkshire
shoat what had the durndest appetite ever
you heerd tell on. The little slioats lad to
git out OF his way every time. l put him in
q lot all by himself, and there was plenty of
feed and wallow there for him, more'n he
could ever use, but, dunn me, If he would
stey there. Down went that fence and away
went that shcat into fields where he had no
business to be. Wall, he kept this up all
summer, bat bimeby he broke into little
patch o. timber an got to foolin' round.
What d'ye soose he stirred up Wall, by
gosh, be ruD his nose right into q hornets
rest. 1t took him long time to git out o.
them woods but when he got on. be was the
mott subdued thoat ever you seed"-Chics-
90 Herald.