The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-05-01
THE SMALL BOY.
Breezy Treatment Of IN Ever Old an
Ever New Subject.

Il
A Breezy Treatment OF an Ever Old an,
! Ever New Subject.
The small boy" as subject. is no
new; is quite moldy. in fact; nor ca,
he, as q problem for solution, CLAIM
that degree Of crispness withal tina
would recommend him as q novelty
As topic he is as old as Cain. As {
reality, however, he is as fresh as th'
newsboy who this morning will drol
his paper on your doorstep, and quietly
appropriate the one that was left their
moment before. by which transaction
he clears five cents.
No period of authentic history, so fal
as known. has held the small boy il
esteem, and ancient legends are full o
suggestions derogaiory to his character
Pagan mythology led off by furnishing
him with bow and CULVER, and leaving
him single-handed to work the destruc
ton of mankind. Does any one sup
pose the choice of this instrument o.
confusion was mere chance? Verify il
was prophecy. From the day in which
a synod of irreverent urchins cried after
the ascending chariot of Elijah: ''GC
up, thou baldheadr' to the present
moment, when he of another race may
stand on a corner and yell at your new
spring suit, inviting his companions to
''Git onto that rig. will yer?" his morals
and his ariacity have been growing in
an inverse ratio. While all this is con.
ceded to be true. there is still no diminu.
ton in the production of this nuisance
and no method available for his sup
preston. In the language of Sairy
Camp, ''facts is stubborn and can't be
drove;" and if Sairy's observation goes
for anything, the small boy is the one
undeniable fact of creation.
The boy rises slowly but irresistibly
from street gamin to hoodlum. from
hoodlum to ward politician, from ward
politician to seat in the State Legisla-
ture, and SO on through the chapter. He
is the terror of his own family. the per-
petual torment of his neighbors. the
ever-recurring problem of school
board that waivers between the moral
suasion" plan and the method recon-
mended by Solomon. Notwithstanding
the pompous discussions on the best
way of managing him, he remains, to
all intents and purposes, lord of HIM
self" and has never seemed to consider
his condition "a heritage of VICE."
The worse he grows the dearer he
becomes to the maternal side of the
house, for to his mother his Ubiquitous
deviltry seems but the promise of future
greatness. His father tolerates because
murder is crime and the community
lets him live because in ten or twelve
years he will have vote that may be
bought for a small sum.
No man has the courage to attack one
of the least of these, lest he be found
stoning some future President and
fighting his own political possibilities.
The question has been to turn his inge-
nuity, his facility of imbibing impress
SONS, his alertness, his accuracy of
repetition into some channel where it
may cease to terrorize the general pub
lie, and be made to turn n wheel some
where in the system of social economy.
Well, the problem has been solved.
Where the higher civilization has failed
necessity has accomplished for the less
favored natives of the mountain dis
tricts. An old settler from the south
ern part CT Kentucky says: "Where
mothers, aunts aud young married
women have work to do, that will not
admit of chaperoning their own Or
other persons daughters. the small
brother is invariably the chaperone of
his sister. He becomes her constant
companions: goes with her to the spring,
and meditasvely pad lies in the branch
while she fills her bucket Her duty is
TO grabble potatoes: he does not wait
to be told, but silently falls into her
wake, and sits on the fence. softly
whistling, with eyes bent on the hori-
ION. waiting patiently for any deter
mined Lochinvar that NAV come riding
that way. 1t gets to be an automatic
process after awhile, and from the milk
ing of the cows in the morning to the
putting up of the chickens he never
leaves her, and any love-making that is
carried on in his presence is simply
suicide to both parties" Il is further
stated by the gentleman, who is not,
however, always reliable, that the boy
is furnished with whistle made of
wood, which he blows with peculiar
ntensity-when-wh he sees any one
He is often shot at and
sometimes killed by his sisters admir-
ers. but there is always an abundance
of small boys.
The above facts are respectfully sub
mitted to the higher class of society
whose system of chaperonage is often
lax. Its adoption would relieve the
mothers and young married women of
a great deal of responsibility, and put
the small boy in way to show why he
is permitted to live. No young woman
whose prospects have been forever
bl GIFTED by a single remark of small
brother would for one instant doubt his
value as a chaperone. He might be
tried first at garden parties, moonlight
pcnics, and it might not be amiss to
station one behind the doorstep on
summer evenings.-Louisritle Courier