The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-13

dDOuJ 1V,UOU miles is one JhaJ mas al |
ways afforded me much pleasure. In
watching and noting the peculiar
phenomena Of the eruptionsI have al
most lost sight Of its attendant dan-
gers.
A volcano is always feverish and
setless until after the eruption, then
it feels better, The first symptoms of
an eruption are cold feet, bad dreams,
bad breath and dark circles around
the crater This will be followed by
an uncomfortable feeling in the bow
els OF the earth and a hutteripg pulse.
The volcano is then about to erupt,
and those who live near there had bet
ter sell out at a sacrifice
One thousand eight hundred and
eighty four years ago the Ramad geog-
rapher and weather crank, Strabo,
spoke of VesuviGs as a burnt noun
tain but it had not at that time turn
ed itself wrong side out Quite for
est grew where its crater now stands
For fifty years Vesuvius had bilious
spells, but kept on drawing its salary
without loss of time, but in 70 A. D. it
turned itself loose and tore up the
ground good deal. Real estate went
to an astonishing height; but became
depressed at once. The south half OF
the mountain was jerked loose, as PHI
ny has it, and knocked galley-west.
This was followed by a shower OF hot
wet ashes, which completely oblitera-
ted Pompeii and Herculaneum.
Those towns have been exhausted late
ly, but owing to the criminal delay Of
authorities in doing so, no lives were
saved.
These cities are not covered with la
va. Scientists say that the ruins were
found under deep layer OF volcanic tu-
ia. do not know what tufa is, but
presume the term is perfectly proper
and safe to use in good society Ihave
heard Of the tufa cigar, which is sold it
at the rate OF tufa for five cents but am
comparatively ignorant of the general
appearance of the volcanic tufa. This
is q joke that thought of myself
Times are so close this winter that l
am obliged to originate a good many
of my own jokes and to write on my
own autographs. My amanuensis,
who has stood by me so long and aid
ed me so well, has been discharged.
Autograph-hunters will notice that my
autographs are not as good as when |
had my amanuensis.
For fully 1000 years Vesuvius then
remained in acomatose state, with only
an occasional eruption. Then for SOC
years it did not erupt In 1888, on the
the shores OF the gulf of Bai@, in the
bay of Naples, a new and attractive
crater was opened. 1t was a good ca
sy-running crater, and the lava was
hot when it ran out. Hot lava is not
good for food. 1t hardens in the stom
ach and taints the breath with the odol
Of sulphur.
In 1851 Vesuvius itself again became
intensely irritable and showed signs O
a morbid desire to erupt. During the
| 1900 Of quiet the crater had been GOV
cred over with forests infested with The
| wild boar of Italy and the tame bore o
England. The slopes Of the mountain
were cultivated up to the foot of thu
cone, and Sunday-school picnic swarm
ed over the green swards at its base.
| Suddenly, in the latter part of De
cember, Vesuvius rose on it hind fee
and painted Rome red. All OF South
ern Europe and part Of York Stat
were covered with ashes and debri
from the internal economy of the vol
cano. Many people were killed VIII
had never previously lost their lives
The way Vesuyius slung hot mud a
the Neapolitan hordes that fall was
solemn warning to the puny pushers G
: putrid politics in the land of the fire.
and home of the brave. The beaut
full cities Resini and Postici were Ell
tirely destroyed, and those of TORI
del Greco and Tore del Anunziat
would have persisted if they had nc
spread the names of the towns owe
themselves and escaped. A good Ion
name in Italy is rather to be chose
than great riches
About every ten years since tn
above date Vesuvius has been liable /
jar the country and shake down fe
towns, covering the people with stu
that is entirely useless, The eruptio
OF Vesuvius is a fine sight at nigh
No doubt that there will always /
more Or less apprehension on the pa
Spectators until some American "ru
tier" puts damper in the crater
Vesuvius' so he can regulate the cru
tions. At present those spasms al
too irregular and too vehement
aSU.snvs1ss T'Nrnh COrnnIRtA6