St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-04-26
bedroom playin' wild it now. She never
cried wan bit, bless her swate soul.

cried wan bit, bless her swate soul.
IN A vIRULENT FORM.
II noted" remarked lady to her hllS-
band who had just returned from Wash
ington and was engaged in scraping the
mud OFF his boots ''that Panama, since
January 1st, has had four presidents"
Eyes" he replied, ''the same disease is
raging in this country"
"What disease do you maan?"
''TOo much president"
A VACANT PLACE.
A gentleman who was moving observed
that the windows of the opposite house,
with single exception, were occupied by
members of the family, who were calmly
taking in the general appearance of his
furniture.
Madame" he said, to woman leaning
from a lower easement, 81 am sOrry to
see that death has occurred in your
family"
mo death in this family" she replied,
''what makes you think there VASE"
because notice that one of the upper
windows is vacant"
THE ONLY WAY.
A Maine teamster says he can start the
most obstinate horse by taking him out of
the shafts and leading him around In cir
Gle until he is giddy. Surprising the OBJ
Stlnate horse refuses to move around in a
circle what will the Maine teamster do
then? The only sure way to START balky
horse is to build bonfire under him.
TRIPPING THE May.
They had been waltzing for few min
utes and he was fast losing conscious
ness.
''A-a-aw," he said, elf you are t-t-tired,
M-miss Smithers, d-don't h-hesitate to stop
on m-my a-account."
ooh, dear no." she replied, ''I'm not
bit tired"
WILD LIFE IN THE WEST.
''I've read a good deal about you people
out here in Arizona" said an Eastern man
to friend whom he was visiting 'sHow
you cut and slash and get the drop on
each other and howl and swear; and if you
think its safe wish you would take me
round little tonight
'Letme see," unused the Arizona citi-
zen, whats goin' on tonight? Oh, yes, a
bill is up before the council to prohibit the
use OF profane and indecent language inside
the limits; we can see that become a law,
and then take in the school exhibition ON
one pocket and your bowie knife in the
other, and keep perfectly quiet, and I'll
guarantee you wont get hurt"
A TIGERS GRATITUDE.
Col B., an English army officer, and his
friend Dr. NJ. were discussing animals and
their characteristics.
SAID the colonel, Il dO not consider all
cat animals ungrateful. A tiger once re-
tod lii lol
hands in really quite remarkable manner
1t was when | was with my regiment in
India, the til Hussars, you know under
Col II, l being second in command,
and what cad he was by the way, that
some of the men succeeded in capturing an
unusually large and beautiful specimen of
the genus tigris. We had been out some
time and were expecting home orders at any
so the boys tried to keep the ger
to take back to England. 1t was about the
only trophy of conquest the regiment could
boast of; we had very dull
time Of it with never brush even
with the natives, and not the ghost of a
chance of promotion for distinguished serv-
ices, and everybody was interested in Dick
as his striped majesty was christened. He
was an ugly beast as to disposition, and
would brook interference from no one about
him. One night when he had been in camp
about six weeks, it was discovered that in
his ceaseless gnawing at the wooden lining
of his cage he had thrust large splinter in
his jaw just below his teeth. When it was
noticed the thing had already intlamed and
festered, and the pain rendered the animal
fairly frantic. The noise of his cries and
howls was simply unbearable, and l deter
mined to make an effort to stop it. Satu-
rating large sponge with chlorOform, got
as near the cage as | could, and when he
my vicinity dashed the sponge
at him. He seized it, as / knew he would,
but the fumes of the drug momentarily
confused him, and before he recovered had
put my hands between two adjacent bars
and quickly dislOdged the painful splinter.
Relief was almost immediate and the camp
that night enjoyed undisturbed rest"
land his gratitude?" queried the doc
tor?"
''Oh yes; l did not mention that. In less
than ten days he escaped and gave me an
opportunity to go home at the head of my
regiment On his way to the jungle he met
the colonel and ate him up"
PHILIP III. WEIGH.