Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-14
NO CORKsCREw IN THE PLACE.
The Mournful Guest Gets Up a Farce
After the Play for His Own Amuse-
ment Only.
Froqa the .N>sn York Sun.


ment Only.
From the Mem York Sun.
a sad-faced man, with STOPPING shoulders
saturnlne, sullen, and stoalthy air, entered
a popular restaurant up town on Saturday
evening, and,after wandering aimlessly about,
sank dejectedly into a chair and stared at the
bin of fare. AS he sat there, the picture Of
dependency and woe, his eye lighted upon
row Of eight corkscrews which had been pol
ishod and laid in a row on a table. The
patrons Of the place are largely given TO the
consumption Of oysters, and, as II was Just be-
fore the hour when the rush from the theatres
is expected. the walters we're busy arranging
tables and chairs. O0e Of them rushed no to
the mOurnful guest. rubbed the table brlskly
with napkin, picked up the catsup bottle,
put IL down again. and went through the Drlsk
maunuvres by which walters usually assist
eaters to NJ axe up their minds.
~ hats yours, sir:' SAID the waiter.
"OIine| said the man. slowly, and with q
tinge of resentment IN his voice.
Yes, sir: your order, SIR"
stew" said the man, YEARLY.
Then the waiter BUSTED UP the room. and
the man with q tired and Dlase air gathered
in the eight c0rkscreWs, bagged them quietly
In napkin tied them up, dropped them to
The floor, and kicked them under the table,
against the wall.
A snort time after this the waiter bore down
on him jauntily with a stew, placed it on the
table before him with deft turn of the wrist,
and was speed ng away when the man NUT
tered in an ill-humored voice.
"S'm beer"
"a bottle of beer? Yes SIR"
Inc man bumped his shoulders, and began
to eat the stew with every appearance of in
tense dissatisfaction not unInixed with dis
gut. But it was observed that he watched
the busy waiter out of the corner of his eye,
while the busy waiter rushed around the
room with bottle Of beer in one hand and no
corkscrew in the other.
After a prolonged search, in which all of the
other walters participated, a single corkscreW
was found IN the lower drawer of the cashiers
desk. With this the waiter hurried down to
the discontented looking man, but was called
away before he could open the bottle. He
laid the corkscrew down on the table and
straightway forgot where he had put it. This
too. was bagged by the solemn man, who
showed 1t cautiously and craftilY with his foot
toward its fellows in the napkin against the
wall.
Bright-faced women and resolute- looking
men trooped in from the theatres and seated
themselves at the table There was a con-
| tinual changing Of the doNr. and a constant
influx of guests until the whole room was
filled. Some ordered wine, others ale, and
many beer with their oysters. Bottles were
placed upon the various tables, food was
served, and then the clamOr began to rise;
but it was evident that not a cOrkscrcw was
to be found in the house. The half dozen
walters were berated by the guests, the
cashier, and the proprietor, and they flew
about aimlessly, recklessly, and almost fran
tlcally; not a cOrk5creW could be had, and
after one or two of the theatre goers had
arisen and gone anarily forth, the sad and
round shouldered man rose, stretched him
self YEARLY. yawned and sighed; then he
denounced the waiter in a resentful tone,
mace some scathing comments to the cashier,
paid his bill and departed.
Only close observer saw his shoulders
shake and his very ears wrinkle with delight
as he cast one backward glance into The
restaurant before going up the street.