The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-02-07

A Confiding Chat with the Genial Huinorist
Of the Hawkeye State.
IutervieW n Nfnnpa mills Trihrtnp

of the Hawkeye State.
Interview In Minneapolis Tribune.
81 used to summer at Lake Minnetonka, until
one time | went to Jaeksons, on the upper lake,
and caught catfish, the only one ever taken
ont of the lake Then WAS given twenty four
ruined the reputation of the lake. and If | went
/ fishing again would catch snake. That same
summer / also won the champions medal by
| catching the smallest fish ever taken in the
| lower lake. 1t was smaller than the bait 1T
| swallowed"
How long have you been leeturingw
II started on my brilliant career in 1876.
| went out alone at first, managing myself and
| practicng on the unfenced and defenselesS vii
| lagos Of Iowa That same winter the Redpath
| lyceum bureau, of Boston, generously came to
] the relief of the people, and put me on its lists
| and have 'hollered under its management ever
| since / 90 from here into Iowa. thence west
into Kansas thence round stake at Newton
and east through Iowa, Illinois, Indiana and
| Ohio, to the place of beginning, reaching my
home in Ardmore, Penn. April l., after which
date l will tell the Prince fairy stories
and try to answer his questions until
May when l win take him with me to Cali
forna. had an engagement tomorrow night
at Perry, Iowa; but a telegram from there
| reached me at this point. canceling my engage
| rnent They have the smallpox there. They
took in preference to the lecture. They could get
| it cheaper and it will last longer They are to
be .pitted, indeed they are. Run in without
credit"
''Who do you consider the leading American
humorist9"
There are two humorists now living who lead
| the world of humor. am the other one. You
would hardly think it to look at me, but am SO
| funny it hurts me to carry it around. Shall l
| say something funnyP
| mo, don't please; am not feeling very strong
| tonight. How old are your
! "Few and evil have thedays Of the years of my
pilgrimage been, and they have not attained uI.te
the days of the years of my fathers in their pill
| grimage. / am not old | was forty years
young on the 30th of last July No cards. My
| boy will be eight years old next April. He will
| go into jackets and knickerbockers on his next
birthday. At present he wears kits and weighs
| a ton He is the only real boy, all others being
| limitations He is all wool and a yard wide
| burns with white ash, is warranted not to shy.
bite, bolt, kick, balk, cut in the eye, rip, rave
! or run down at the heel, is gentle, sound in
| mind, limb and condition, and can do his"
at is recorded said the SCRIBE as the lecturer
paused for breath. How is the lecture business
| this winter2'
| Good! It's funny, but this year the lecturers
| are on top The dramatic world usually gets all
the houses and profits This winter the lecturers
| are doing the business All the eloquent sons of
| thunder, or rather wind whom / have met re-
| port big business. Theatrical combinations are
reducing salaries, and playing for what they can
| get. Only the best troops do paying business
The small fry get starved out about the second
week. You can't travel 100 miles without seeing
some Big Four Comedy Company walking down
the railroad track, headed for Chicago and the
treasurers Office. The popular taste this winter
runs to lectures and roller skates. Every town
of 1000 inhabitants has rink with falling ca
| pacity of 1000 soes No,n-in reply to the re-
porter's up-lifted eyebrows 81 do not skate.
do everything else wicked, but l do not skate.
| When / want to have any fun of that kind, fall
| down stairs with kitchen stove"
| How many lectures have you?"
| 81 have four subjects. One lecture is all that
any man needs All jokes old as the Greeks,
80 that the only new thing about lecture is the
| subject. Mr.. Beecher is the most expensive lee
turer in the field, Cough is the most enthusiastic,
| Mark Twain is the funniest, Joseph Cook is the
soIidest St. John is the most advertised. Talmage
is the best natured and tallest and am the best
There are two things about lecturing l fairly
hate. hate to begin and hate to quit. am
scared TO death every time begin to talk. In
my first year of chin chin l told Mr.. Beecher
about my nervousness. oh WE'LL the old man
ISOLATION for that. You'll never get over it. ;
And never did and guess never will"
who has the best lecture on the rostrum
this winterl"
81 have the longest My shortest lecture
would last twenty-five minute preacher about
three years, if he cut it up into even takes and
| delivered it in fat minion.'
| (which is your best lecturer
| whichever one I deliver. Put down your
pencil and III give you the worst one. 1t begins
| something like this
| I'm afraid I'll have to 60 down stairs before
the elevator quits running" said the Tribune
ambassador, nervously. please call around at
the press-room after office hours, maybe the
| janitor would like to hear it,
| II will, the great man said, joyously, 81 like
| to practice on janitors. In the early days of
| my greatness. when he and l were the only per-
| sons on the stage and in the audience, many a
| janitor have / held spellbound for an hour and a
half. I will come, will haunt your Office while
I stay in Minneapolis, because 1 consider the
| Tribune the greatest journal in the great North
| west; now is the time to make up clubs for sale
| by all newsdealers, d1w&eodtf / have talked
my cigar out-give me match"