Omaha daily bee., 1885-07-14
A CHAPTER OF ERRORS,
Odd Blunders Made by Telegraph
Operators.
London Standard.

London Standard.
1t seems, however, as II the trausmis'
sion OF messages was superintended by
some telegraphic Puck, whose special de-
light Ia to commit malicious perveraitlea
In the sense of messages for no other pur.
pose, apparently, but to crafty his pre-.
dilectlons for practical joking. To aome
his pleasantries may cause amusement,
but they are more frequently productive
of embarrassment. How friendly greet
lngs passing between families have bsen
altered, what dreadful suspense and
alarm has been caused among households
and perturbation among business men
through the hidden telegraphic Imp, none
fully appreciate or understand. A gen.
tleman once telegraphed asking that a
horse might be sent to the rail-
way station to meet him and was
surprised to find hesrae instead. A
prominent statesman was accused of de-
laying legislative work through an "on-
fortunate idleness," when the honorable
gentleman's 'illness" was the cause of the
delay. From being "bad" a man was
made "dead," and one that was "no
worse" became emo more," through tele-
graphic agency. Messages are sometimes
made to read precisely opposite to what
is meant by the sender, and trouble and
disappointment is frequently caused by
these perverted communications. "Send
check this afternoon" has become "tend
chase this afternoon" "your bacon" has
been transformed Into "your banker,
'slinseed oil" has been converted Into
'linaeed meal" "fitteen wagons" into
"fifteen tons, "clothes" has been made
''soles," "sold" made "unsold," and the
announcement "salmon received" has
been changed into "balloon received"
When meetings are arranged through
the medium of the telegraph
it occasionally happens that the
is a altered. Sunday has decided tene
dency to become Monday, Tuesday is Ia
BILE to be made Thursday, and the first
train has been altered to the last train,
while places of meeting have been
changed and converted into something
that was painfully perplexing to the re-
cipients. 'Constantinople among the
grocers" was rather unintelllgible an
nouncement, and the changing of the re-.
quest "send no more" into ''send on
more" was calculated to produce annoy
ance. Here is a curius piece of compost
tion which telegraph clerk turned out:
"Speaker urged compliment concern.
Ing the deslrability of their cause and
the hounds of the execution" This
being interpreted meaneth: "The speak
er urged complaint concerning the de-
sertion of their cause at the hands of the
executive" st. Vitas' dance seems to
have puzzled an operator, for he rem
dered it ''vIle Dance" a definition which
the unfortunate sufferer might not have
disputed. The phrase, "antlquities of
the church, once got telegraphist into
trouble, for he had the audacity to write
"iniquities of the church," which must
have shocked the 'unco guid." A paper
had to apologize for having through
telegraphic error-in the report of an
unsavory lawsuit referred to "rellgious"
instead of ''lltigous" family. There
can be no question but the clerk who
wrote "aubterranean tavernH" when
"caverns" was intended, must have bsen
suffering from the effects of recent visit
to some underground liquor shop.