Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-08-04
A swIyDLED DRUMMER
The ChId OF Israel Who Was
Wiser Than the Son o< Aammon
as- = @s~ fsr. cSaanssrelal frAss1sr
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Hs- as W-z satd-

The J1assl
sArriyinz Ia NJ Sa4xss. ss then pas up
at Ehs Salag glstoa Hcuss. = Iasern vel aad
fAyorahIy xo0su % the commercial ais
siouarv u rhs North sss1 Ie drummer
ka0~s a good iBn shea ns str kss ons. and
al@ays pAtroalz the same house, pro
yidsd hs hAs not ga . previous trip injured
as credit with mins host. it sometimes
1uI happen that b. reason of mans
holding a kiag fuu against four deucss, or
some such htsie matter, hs may rua 50
short OF dross as u render . surrepsitious
departure ssary, oat this cause, or
some other equally powerful, Is required
~ drive him G. the other bOase-" By the
~ay ia every town, however small there
is always the other housA" Your hotel
clerk never vas known 20 speak Of the
competing tavern as the Chicken House Or
ths Slaughter House, bat always as the
ether house"
But, 70 return % our spring lamb and
green peas, Ne registered. were assigned
- cur rooms, and had supper. On leaving
the dining room Josh Brown ran up
against a rival of his, Que Moses Lazarus,
/ whom 10 was kind enough ~ introduce %
I Cusby snd Ias.
Mr. Lazarus y as disposed % be talka-
/ tive. The tales with which he soughE 70
entertain Us were shady as % color, and
/ chsstnUtty as - age, besides there was so
much OF the first person singular about
I them, and at the end OF half hour was
/ glad q make an excuse and escape.
.'Gentlemen. l must leave you" | said
"after writing letter, shall take a bath
and 70 % bed"
"Vat!" calculated Lazarus. take q bath
ia winter 20 and 10 tell the unvarnished
/ truth, the eoffiu- man looked as though his
annual ablatioa was performed on the
Fourth of July. This was ia January.
Soon after had departed. Cusby, like
wise yearnins for liberty, remarked:
=. It's horrible cold, Josh. Really it
amounts TO cruelty 70 animals 70 hang out a
thermometer such weather as IS this. Pm
going u buy an ulster. my Overooat isn't
heavy enough"
"I'il 20 with YOU" said Josh promptly,
glad 10 dematerialize himself.
"And so will l." chim-d in the agreeable
Lazarus, 'I know a man that will hit you
out sheap."
They made a vigorous attempt TO shake
the Hebrew, bat 10 couldn't be done. He
picked after and snaked onto them for
keeps, and under his guidance they ar
rived. in IA short time, at the clothing EN-
porium OF Pollack Bros, a dimly-lighted
dive on a side street.
"DOse shentlemans is vriends ob mine,
Pollack," Lazarus said, by way OF intro
dgctiou. II want you 10 sell dem sheap."
"Abate thee, good Noses" quOth Gus.
II want neither ram, lamb. sheep o. NUT
ton. DO but lack gabsriine. / pray you,
therefore," 70 Pollack. ''trot me out a gar
ment which doth my youth, my complex
ion and my calling well beseem, for am
one. lorsooth, who drummeth, albeit not
with a drum. Aye, and mark you well,
, am masher. l am one who gOeth up and
down the earth like roaring lion, seek
! ing whom I may devour; wherefore
pray, an it please thee, let the garment be
. toney, let it be warm, and it fir thy mood
; let IT be cheap"
II have chust vat you yant, and-vat il
J your name, mine friendt:"
I My name IS Cusby, an it please thee
good Jew"
= ''Guspy. Guspy-tid you know my prud
d der Ape. Mr.. Guspy: He IS tead now"
, '-He was Quaker, wasn't he?" inter
/. rupted Josh.
"No; be wasn't Qnavaker; he vas
! Chew. like me-" responded the son OF Is
rasl.
''Beshew me. but recall him not" an
p swered Gus.
\ Mr.. Guspy, the very last words m
. pruider salt before he tied vos dose: Ike
il Mr.. Guspy comes by the shtore, sell hiI
\ sheap.' and ven he salt das ha tied" Tn
2 afTectionate brother wiped an ina aginar
: tear and went on: Here, Mr.. Guspy,
). an Dldster I vii sell you for twendy -ff
/ tollars. IL COST me thirdy. 40 hellup n,
n Chacob. Dis goat il all WOOL bud the bud
dons ant the buadon- holes"
% III give thee five and it's sound in win
= and limb"
( Vat. Eve tollars." shrieked the Semitic
n dat goat COST me twenty"
a .Dids5 say but now it cost thee thirty
b o. false fsraelite, fl give thee four"
% Cusby aud Pollacx had it back and fort
q for fully fifteen minutes. when at last Po
lack taxing Cusby by the elbow, whis
l. pered in his ear.
- IN let you haf dat peautiful uldster fc
D. seven tollars. Mr. Guspy. Nv prudds
y salt 20 sell YOU shsap, but my wife Is i
a the room back Of the shdors, and she h.
,e heardt iesesse. If she know I soldt tbs
- goat for sefen tollars, she vosld tie. Pa
me - money aud take 10 away"
VI Hell make five on is now. Gus. but
=. guess you had better take the hand d-n'
ar down. It's cheap enough" said Josh :
le the money was paid and the ulster wraps
IN up.
:. Cos and Josh then returned 70 the ShiI
F' zleton without Lazarus. however, tn
z worthy lingering. no doubt 70 collect
comm ssion.
When the ulster was examined in q
3s bright light If the hotel lobby. it AZ
ld found - be a very job lot indeed IN sever
'ii respects. but the worst thing about IL "
X the moth holes with which it vas Pc
IT, forated 0ns was red-hot about is %
'o regular Sheeny trick. Josh he said. Set
. 20 back and clean the Hebrews ous )"
"FCilsck. vou're rank swindler." O.
said in pi-in modern English. whenshe ~
at Josh sCain found themselves IN the sio
ni shop. you're thsef enouzh to rob = STAv