davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07
A Careful Man.

Judge Bollingsworth is unfortunate.
The other night after hard days work
he did not 60 home until after the
family had eaten supper.
Il won't put you to anv trouble to
get me anything to eat" he said to his
wife. IN 60 out and get q lunch
You'll find everything in the safe.
Don't leave anything on the table for
the mice are awful bad"
/ When the Judge returned to the sit
ting room his wife asked:
"Did you put everything away?"
"Yes."
ibid yoa shut the safe door?"
YES"
+; "Did you shut it tight?"
Yes"
"What did you do with the lamp?"
"What lamp"
1.-The lamp you took with YOU"
Didn't bring it back?"
..No."
"Blew it out then, guess"
When the fire bells rang. . bright
blaze lit up certain part of the town.
When the engines arrived. the Judge
was seen walking about in an excusa-
BILE scarcity of dress. He had shut the
lamp up in the safe.-ArkansaU Trar.
eler.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The National Educational Associ-
alton, in session recently. ut Saratoga
elected N. A. Calkins, of New York.
President
during his ministry at Cheltenham.
the late Dean Close received over fifteen
hundred pairs Of worked slippers from
lady members of his flock.
during the past convention year
the Protestant Episcopal Bishop Of
Iowa travelled, on official duty, upward
of fifteen thousand miles. /,
1t was stated by DIR. Vose, of Prov
idence. at q farewell meeting to . lady
Of his church about to start for India.
that hitherto no foreign missionaries
had gone from Rhode Island. /.
What do they do when they in
stall minister" inquired . small boy;
do they put him in . stall and feed
him?" Mot . bit," said his father;
'.they harness him to the church and
expect him to draw it alone. ."-Ez-
change.
Women have been elected. for the
first time, to positions ON the Glasgow
School Board. When Scotland breaks
through the trammels of conservatism.
in any particular. it is usually safe for
the rest of the world to follow.-Cur.
rent.
The number of names carried on
Baptist Church books of members whose
whereabouts are unknown is said by the
New York Examiner to be very large;
and the same thing is said of the Pres
byterians by the New York Observer,
thnp ~ tho
portion of these lost members at ten per
cent of the whole.
Tho Legislature refused to add the
History of Tennessee to the list of books
for public schools. The idea seems to
prevail with some that the schoolboy
should learn more about Greece and
Rome and other ancient countries and
people than about the history of his own
country and State.-West Tennessee
Wing.
Tho Christian AdUocate says.
There are signs of the total breakup
of the Salvation Army in this country.
Something has taken away the measure
of sympathy which was freely given at
first. The opinion expressed when their
work first opened in this country-that
the churches could and soon would do
all the work the Army proposed to do.
is still held. No organization outside
the Church is called for when the
Church is slive. The one lesson Of
value which the Army teaches is that
the Church may safely go outside the
churches to do its work. Methodism
has known that for . long time. But
latterly we have been too much afraid
of eccentric methods"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A life insurance policy-never to
bring spring poems to the editor in per-
son.-Judge.
Henry Karat went to sleep ON q
doorstep in New York and was robbed
of his ''turnip." Henry says the police
man was not on his "beet. ."-Boston
Bulletin.
"A soft answer. whenever / can
find donkey with loud enough voice
and long enough ears" he growlsd.
I'm bring him up here and let him
argue with you" 'Well. my dear"
she replied sweetly. ''what subject do
you want to discuss?"-M r Graphic.
AT last we know why uneasy lies
the head that wears . crown" Anew
ly arrived chiropodist from the old
country announces himself ~ late corn
doctor to the court Of Germany, and
tells us he has removed corns from sew
eral of the crowned heads Of Europe
Life.
"A young man denounces straw bon.
nets because they chafe his ears"
Here, now. is 4 question for scientists.
Can they explain how it il that . bon
net worn by one person can chafe the
ears Of another person not wearing it?
Eh? How's that? Dwell. well, now
that may be. How stupid not to see it
before.-F0reign EE.
-Clara-l understand that Mr..
Featherly paid me q very pretty compli-
ment to-day? Ethel-Yes? What was
1t? Clara-He said that among the
most beautiful young ladies at the party
last night was Miss Clara Smith. Ethel
with . cough)-Yes. I noticed you
among them.-CAicago Tribune.
Brown was ruminating on Archim-
edes and his lever. ''Old Archimedes
had long head when he said he could
raise the world II he had . long enough
lever" he said to Burns. well, fairly
So" was the reply. ..but I have done
better" ''HoW so?" ''Raised some
money with my lever" What do you
meanl" ..Pawned my watch. ."-Rom-
bier.
The mistress of . large establish
ment. starting out on . shopping ex-
pedition," asked the cook what she
would bring her from the city. The
cook replied. I'D like mighty well to
have . pah er fine sheWs, please,
ma'am." She was asked what size she
wore. Il kin wah numbah threes easy,
but on account ob de size Oh my feet,
reckon We bettah git me number nine "
Chicago Ledger.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07
A PERFECT NINNY.

She Tries Hard to Make Him Pop. But He
Wouldn't Take the Hint.
MARY" said Stockton woman to
her daughter. ''can't you see that Mr..
Dude is desperately in love with you?
Why don't you encourage him; he has
plenty of money, hear?"
Il have given him lots of hints. but
he is a perfect ninny. and hasn't got
courage enough to propose"
..You ought to be smart enough to
show him how to do it, if he really
wants to-"
Goodness knows I've tried hard
enough. You know when we were out
walking the other evening""
YES"
..Well, at one time during the even.
ing he asked me what was my favorite
drink. and when said pop. would you
believe it, the fool didn't have sense
enough to take the hint. ."-Marerick.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07

The criminals Of the Saghalien
Islands have done great work. For
the last five years they have been
digging tunnel to connect the post
Due with the Alexandrovsky settlement
the work was exceedingly hard, for the
exiles had to dig through . rocky
mountain. Now . horse railroad is
running from the post to the settlement
by the way of the tunnel To reward
the diligence and energy Of the exiles.
some of whom were political criminals,
the Gear has graciously allowed them
TO name it the tunnel of Emperor
Alexander III" ST. Peteysosr9
Noroste,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07

"A story is told by the Presbyterian
of . New York woman who was asked
to add her name to subscription list
for charitable purpose. II can not. I"
was the reply; Il did all l could afford
to do for charity during the winter. l
went to the charity ball. the kirmess.
and attended q number of private
theatrical entertainments given for
benevolence."
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07

The deep concern displayed by a
number of esteemed contemporaries
over 1.-The decline of marriage gives
rise to the suspicion that large stock
of mittens has accumulated among the
personal belongings of the respective
editors.-Indidndpolis Journal
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07

Statistics show that the wheat trade
Of California. Oregon and Washington
Territory with Europe give employment
annually to more than four hundred
sailing vessels going around Cape
Horn. The average passage for each
vessel is about 5000 miles. in an
average time Of a. lutte over four
months.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07

"A Philadeseiian has invented q
flying machine of . new kind. with
which he will soon experiment. Why
he is tired OF life ID not stated. Norris.
t0Un Herald,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1885-11-07

"A Maine farmer in fit of somnan
hulism lately got out of bed. dressed
himself and went to his meadow and
moved q swath forty rods long before
he woke np.-Boston Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
An Extended Trance.

BUTLER, Pa, March ga daughter
of Joseph Renner, of Marion township,
sometime ago was taken suddenly i'll
with collie and went into spasms. Short
ly afterward the girl. to ali appearances,
died. The doctor called, and after 4
careful examination, pronounced her
dead, but told the parents that in order
to be on the safe side 10 defer interment
as long as possible. The body was kept
for two days. Some one, on going into
the room where the child was lying, put
their fingers on the pulse and was sur
prised to feel feeble fluttering. The
doctor was again called and restoratives
applied, and. although respiration re-
turned, all efforts to restore her to con-
seriousness proved fruitless. She re-
manned in this state for twenty-six days.
On the evening of the twenty-sixth day
she opened her eyes and feebly asked
for drink of water. From that time
on she rapidly gained strength and is
now able to go about. During the %
days Inconsistencies no food had
passed into the stomach.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
The Ciyil.seryice Examinations.

MADISON. Wis, March 27.-The
civil-service examinations were held in
the United States court room in this
city yesterday, United States Commits
sioner Gregory, of Washington. having
charge, while the local board consisted
of Gen. Geo. E. Bryant, postmaster.
VIM. Helms, deputy postmaster. and
Jerome ID. Clarke, deputy United States
revenue collector. There were fifteen
candidates, including two young ladies.
The examinations were on the English
branches, and were conducted in writ
ing. The papers will be passed upon
by the proper authorities in Washing
ton, who will in due time notify the
candidates of their success or failure.
The applicants are known by numbers,
and not by names, at the headquarters,
so that no partialIty can be shown.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
Examination for Cadets.
MADISON, Wis, March %. 1885

AhabioO<tt w t>.s flUtClL III. 100.
EDITOR OF THE HERALD: In order
that the following communication to me
from the United States Navy depart
ment may reach all in your county whom
IL may interest, | respectfully request
that you may publish it:
There will be a vacancy in the Naval
Academy in 1886 for the district repre-
sented by you in Congress, of which the
department now gives notice, and will
ask You after the 9Th of March next 10
recommend a candidate for examination
to fill it.
The candidate must be over fourteen
and under eighteen years of aye when
examined for admission, and an actual
resident of your congressional district.
eff accepted, he will receive permit
from the Secretary of the Navy to re-
port at the Naval Academy for examin-
alton on the 10th of May next. and, if
qualified, will receive an appointment
as naval cadet
Believing it no more than Just that all
IN the district who desire to avail them
selves OF this opportunity should be Civ
en- an equally fair chance, have decid-
ed 10 recommend such person as shall
succeed IN competitive examination,
to be held at the State University, at
Madison, on the 21st day of April, 1885.
The examination will be conducted
by committee composed of professor
OF the university and the county SUPER
intendents of Iowa. Grant. Green and
Lafayette counties. Applicants will be
examined physically as to health, size
aud stature, five feet being the minimum
height of admission. They will be ex-
amined mentally in reading, writing,
spelling, arithmetic. geography (especi-
ally of the United States), English
grammar. United States history, algebra
lRay's Higher, pages II to 11I, these be-
ing the branches in which the successful
candidate must pass a satisfactory ex-
animation before admission to The acad-
envy.
The pay of naval cadet is five hun
dred dollars year. Upon entering he
is required to sign articles by which he
binds himself to serve in the United
States navy eight years, including his
attendance at the Academy, unless
sooner discharged.
Hoping all who desire will feel free to
apply, | am, respectfully yours,
II. NJ. LAFoLLETTF.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

of their military friends, but Mr.. Endi-
colt, though treating them with the
most faultless courtesy. was not to be
persuaded into making any promises.
The report is again revived that Gen.
eral Swain viii soon be placed on the
retired list of the army. His health is
said to be much shaken by the strain OF
his trial.
The Interior Department was closed
on Thursday, March 26th, on account
of the death of ex-Secretary Jacob
Thompson, who presided over this de-
partment in the administration of Presi-
dent Buchanan.
The much discussed question as to
where the President would attend
church is at last decided by his taking
a pew in the First Presbyterian church
on AZ street, whose pulpit is occupied
by Rev. DIR. Sunderland.
The last item of political news re-
ceiyed as close my letter is the appoint
ment of Representative S. S. Cox of
New York to be Minister to Turkey.
A LOCKER ON.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
An Exciting Race.

SYDNEY, New South Wales, Australia,
March 2S.-The race between Hanlan
and Beach was rowed over the cham
pions' course on Parramatta river.
The attendance was enormous. The
weather was favorable and the water
smooth. Both oarsmen were in excel
lent condition. Hanlan and Beach, after
the start, kept well together for some
distance. The race was close and ex-
citing. The scullers approached the win
ming post almost bow and bow, and
the excitement among the spectators
was great. When pulling with all their
strength for the winning post, Beach
overhauled Hanlan. and increased his
advantage until the very finish. amid
the widest excitement
TORONTO. March %. Hanlan's de-
feat by Beach has given the people
new subject to talk about. and general
regret is expressed, as it was felt he
would redeem his lost laurels.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

Riel, the Manitoba halt-breed, has
just inaugerated his annual springtime
rebellion, and in the very first sortie, the
other day, caused the Canadian police
considerable trouble. 1t seems to us
that, rather than crush this irrepressible
rebel every spring with the strong arm
of the military, it would be far better
for the Dominion to pay his board at
some cheap clearinghouse and give
him odd jobs by which he could earn his
clothes. Rel must be getting to be an
old man now, and though the rebellion
business in Canada is comparatively
safe and harmless, still it is not proper
calling for feeble and decrepit old
man. He may not notice it now, but it
win wear on him as the years roll by.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
Frightened AWAY.

New ORLEANS, March 29.--The City
of Dallas, which arrived here yesterday
from Port Barrios. Central America,
brought as Storage passengers large
number of American laborers who had
been working on the Guatemala Central
railroad. In consequence of the excite
ment prevailing in Guatemala on ac-
count of Barrios' action in reference to
the other Central American states these
Americans became frightened and
thought the best thing they could do
was to return to this country.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

Prof. r. b. Anderson, of the Wis
consin State University. has received
the appointment as United States min
lister resident and consul-general to
Denmark. MIR. Anderson has been
professor of the Scandinavian languages
in our university, and is distinguished
in literature for some admirable trans
lations from the ancient and mystical
works of early Scandinavian authors.
The appointment is an excellent one,
although from a strictly political point
OF view it might be regarded as high
bid for the support of the Scandinavian
voters of Wisconsin.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
A Wisconsin Woman's Travels.

Miss Ruth Z. Wales, of Elkhorn, for
three years a teacher in the government
schools of the Argentine Republic. is
visiting friends at Lexington, Mo. The
Intelligencer. of that place, publishes
an extended account of her experiences
in South America. She went twice to
Chill, over the Andes, riding mule,
from Mendoza, during her holidays.
She found Chill little superior to the
Argentine Republic In agriculture, but
inferior to it ia other respects, especially
in education.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

President Barrios does not seem to re-
gard the protest of the United States
senate as anything to be unduly exer-
cised about. He continues his cam
paign against San Salvador and Nicar-
aqua with the serenest self-assurance
and aplonab. The question which now
comes to the front for an answer is,
What are we going to do aboutitp We
have protested, but Barrios has not even
deigned to reply. This is literally an
insult to the American eagle, and ought
to arouse the entire nation. Something
will evidently have to be done, and we
have no doubt there will be. If we al
all understand the temper of the Ameri-
can congress this thing will never be al
lowed to rest until committee is APP
pointed.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
Tnbaeeo I'm wisconsin.

Tobacco culture has become one of
the leading industries in some sections
of this state. The estimated value of
the crop of 1884 is over 81, 500, 900 The
acreage of tobacco in Wisconsin will be
very largely increased this year, and if
the coming season should prove favor
able one, and prices do not fall off, it is
safe to estimate the value of the crop at
from 100000 to s., 900, 900. The in
dustry has heretofore been principally
confined to the counties of Dane, Rock
and Green, but Iowa and Richland and
our own fertile Grant will not be far be-
hind this year. We publish in this
issue number of interesting and in
structive articles on tobacco culture.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

In appointing Col. Villas TO position
President Cleveland seems to think he
has fully recognized the claims of the
West. He doubtless regards Madison,
the residence of Mr.. Villas, as an out
post of civilization. beyond which all is
bowling wilderness where the untu-
tored child of the forest chases the wild
bison, and the tall cundurango cavorteth
for glee. Cleveland, who was never
further west than Buffalo, evidently
needs to adopt the advice of Horace
Greeley.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02
General Grant has gradually faile

General Grant has gradually failed
during the past week, and his death
would be matter of no surprise to
those who have watched the bulletins.
Monday night he sank rapidly, and his
physicians informed him that death was
near He seems resigned to his fate
and is as accomplishing as ever, al
though suffering most intense pain
Perhaps ere this issue of our paper
reaches many CT its readers the noble
old general will have finished his battle
with disease. The whole nation watches
with anxiety the progress of the fatal
cancer, hoping against hope, that the
nations preserver may yet be spared.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

The Indians on Chappelle creek, Da-
kota, have risen and are laying the
country waste. Many settlers houses
and hay stacks have been burned, and
fifteen persons thus far have been mas
sacred. The insurrectionists are led by
Buffalo Ghost and Lame Knee, but Buff
falo seems TO be anything but ghost
and Lame Knee is not so lame but that
he gets there, with the most youthful
alacrity They should either be sup
pressed or compelled to change their
names.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

A woman entered a revival meeting
at Dayton. O., the other evening, armed
with revolver with which she intended
to kill man named Butcher. Her mind
gradually wandered from her original
intention, as she became interested in
the services, and she left the meeting a
convert and Butcher live man.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

Paper bottles are the latest thing in
the utility of paper, and it would seem
as though there was no end to the use to
which this cheap fabric can be put.
Paper car-wheels, paper bags, paper
plates, paper napkins (now largely in
use in restaurants) and paper bottles
are only the precursors, doubtless, of
paper clothing. paper shoes, and paper
groceries and provisions.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

Chief Engineer Benzenberg, Of Mil
waukee, who is charged with drawing
his official salary while engaged on pri-
vate jobs. is having his second acquittal.
This is favoritism of the worst sort. No
other city officer has had but one acguit-
tai, but Benzenberg seems to be pet.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

IL is alleged on pretty high authority
that Senators Teller, Ingalls, and Plumb
are engaged in scheme to grab the en-
tire Oklahoma lands for themselves,
their heirs and assigns, and that that is
what is causing all the delay and
trouble. Can such things be, and over
come us like summers cloud?
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

The Milwaukee Sentinel of FRIDAY
last contained q special Washington dis
patch which stated that Col. Villas, our
Wisconsin representative in President
Cleveand's cabinet, would resign at the
end of the present year. 1t further
stated that MIR. Villas accepted his APP
pointment only on condition that he
would be permitted to return to Wiscon.
sin and his first love, the law, after re-
organizing the Postoflice department.
Ex-senator Mcdonald, of Indiana, it is
said, has already been promised Mr..
Villas portfolio.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

The situation between Russia and
England keeps getting more so every
day. The steed, the squadron and the
Gathering car are being sent forward
with impetuous speed and swiftly form
ing in the ranks of war. And wheat
has risen nearly cents busheI.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

An Albany letter goes into the details
of Cleveland's favorite drink. 1t is
Regents punch" We suspend SEN
tence in this case until we know what
regent the punch is called after. If it
is the punch of the regents of the uni
versity of this state. that is all right; but
if it is any old George HIS sheep-dip
Cleveland had better sign the pledge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

The sheriff of Cameron county, in the
southwest corner of Louisiana, reports
public sentiment there as so strong
against liquor-selling that, although
there has been no formal action by way
of prohibition, there is no place where
liquor is sold, and it is very little used.
As result the county Jail is empty, and
has been utilized as corn-crib. Cause
and effect follow each other in the south
west the same as in the northwest.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-04-02

If society is to be so divided on the
saloon question that business men dare
not come out on the side they believe to
be right. for fear of losing trade, it
would be well to make it just as broad
as it is long. If the law and order ele-
ment would withdraw their patronage
from the weak-backed merchants who
are afraid to commit themselves on the
side of temperance, they would then be
able to choose between God and Mann
mon. How many would care to be
identified on the side of the latter, and
how would their business flourish in
Lancaster