The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-16
A SCIENTISTS REPORT.

Dill Nye Diagnoses Mayors Throat and
Tells of Tubcrcular Gumboils.
Correspondence Pttsburg Dispatch.
To the Members of the Academy of Science at Erin
Prairie, Wis:
Gentlemen-I beg leave to submit herewith
my microscopic report on the several sealed
specimens of proud flesh and other mementoes
taken from the roof Of Mr.. Flapnery's mouth.
AS MIR. Flannery is the mayor of Erin Prairie,
and therefore, has a worldwide reputation, /
deemed it sufficiently important to the world at
large, and pleasing to Mr. Flannerys family, to
publish this report III the medical journals OF the
country, and have it telegraphed to the
leading newspapers at their expense. Knowing
that the world at large is hungry to learn how
the laudable pus of an eminent man appears un-
der the microscope, and what pleasure it must
be to his family to read the description after his
death, l have just opened new box OF dill
cult words, and herewith transmit report,
which will be an ornament not only to the
scrap books of Mr.. Flannery's immediate family
after his death, but priceless boon to the read
ing public at large.
Removing the seals from the jars as soon as
/ had returned from the express Office,
poured off the alcohol and recklessly threw
it away. A true scientist does not care for ex
pense
The first specimen was in good state of pre-
servation on it's arrival / never saw more
beautiful or robust proferation epitherial cell
nest in my life. 1t must have been secured i'm
medately after the old epitherial had left the
nest, and it was in good order on its arrival.
The whole lobulo was looking frstrate You
might ride for a week and not run across a pref
tier lobule, more artistic aggregation of cell
nests outside penitentiary
Only one cell nest had been allowed to dry UP
on the way, and this looked good deal fatgued.
In one specimen / noticed a carneous degenera-
ton, but this is really no reflection Mr.. Elan
merry personally While he has been i'll, it is not
surprising that he should allow his cell nests to
carneously degenerate. Such thing might
happen to almost any of US.
One of the scrapings from the sore on the right
posterior fauces found on its arrival had been
seriously injured and therefore not available l
return it herewith
From an examination which has been conduct
ed with great care, / am led to believe that the
right posterior rafter of Mr.. Flannery's mouth
is slightly indurated, and it is barely possible
that the northeast duplex and parotid gable end
of the roof of his mouth may become involved.
l wish you would ask Mr. Flannerys i'm
mediate relatives, if you can do SO without
arousng alarm in the breast of the patient,
if there has been a marked predisposi-
tion on the part of his ancestors to tubercular
gumboil l do not wish to be understood
as giving this diagnosis as final at all, but from
what have already stated, taken together with
other clinical and pathological data within my
reach and the fact that minute, lobulated gum
bactinB were found floating through some of
the cell nests, have every reason to fear the
worst. l would be glad to receive from you for
microscopic examination fragment of Mr..
Flannerys malpighian layer, showing evidences
of cell proliferation. l only suggest this, of
course, as practicable in case there should be a
malpighian layer which Mr.. Flannery is not
using Do not ask him to take malpighian
layer off her cell nest just to please me.
From microscopic examination l hardly
feel justified in giving diagnosis nor care to
venture any suggestion to treatment, but it
might be well to kalsomine the roof of Mr. Elan
nery's mouth with gum arabic, white lime and
glue in equal parts
There has already been some extravasations
and a marked multformity l also noticed an
inhamed and angry color to the stroma with
trimmings of the same. This might only indicate
that Mr.. Flannery had kept his mouth open too
much during the summer and sunburned the roof
of his mouth, were it not that also discovered
traces of gumbo microbes of the squamous
variety. This leads me to fear the worst for
Mr.. Flannery. However. if the gentlemanly,
courteous and urbane members Of the Acadamy
of Science, of Erin Prairie, to whom l am al
ready largely indebted for past favors, will
kindly forward to me prepaid, another scraping
from the mansard roof of Mr.. Flannerys mouth
next week, 1 will open another key of hard
words, and trace this gumboi theory to sue
cessful termination if l have to use up the whole
ceiling of the patients mouth Yours with great
sincerity, profundity and verbosity,
BILL NYE,
Microscopic, Lobulist and Microbist