The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-09-24

more conception than softshell crab
has of "hard-shell" baptistry.
You hope and aspire to be sea
cap'n, my lad. Good enough, my dear
boy. To be q sea captain, understanding
navigation, and able to sail q ship from
one to any given other point on the face
of the globe, is to be something greater
than captain of militia, albeit, the
latter thinks himself of immensely, inn
mense; but, my boy, remember this {:
That long is the way and rough the
road from the forecastle to the quarter
deck, and that but few get there" of
the many who are called to the sea.
However, there are more "first-water"
sea captains, proportionately, at any
rate, than there are "shining-light'
pulpiteers of the Beecher blaze, say,
and if you have sand in your craw, and
are determined to "get there" the
chances are in your favor, perhaps.
Sea captains, my dear boy, are not
made as generals were in our late un-
pleasantness-as Gems. Butler, Banks,
and others-by scratch of the pen,
but are forced to go through very
unsavory course of sprouts, in a major
ity OF cases, and when they reach the
quarter deck they generally make it as
hot for those under their command as
they found it themselves when subor-
dinates, and thus they get revenge, if
not on those who whacked them about
with belaying-pins and marline-spikes,
nevertheless revenge, which is said to
be sweet, you know.
If you think "a life on the ocean
wave" is o soft snap, my boy, and that
| there is no place like "a home on the
rolling deep" evict such thoughts from
tenancy in your mind at one fell swoop,
AS it were, and get right down to hard
pan at once. Rub the glaze off the
picture, which your Imagination paints,
and look at said picture in its true
colors. Look at the flashing sea" of
your imagination with realistic eye, my
lad, and you will learn that all that
hashes-she FLASHES" only at times,
you know, having moods and spells,
like woman-will learn that all that
flashes is not gold; that she has leaden
hues and iron strength; if sleeping
beauty" to-day, raging vixen tonight I;
that you can't place your shekels upon
her with any confidence, she being as
tickle as Boston Beauty" and quite
as spiteful and merciless when in one
of her moods.
But now, my lad, let us get
down to business. Let us suppose you
have shipped as cabin-boy on board the
good ship Saracen. Well, you are
cabin-boy; and what else, Ell? Why,
the slave of the captain and officers,
the be'e nOire of the ear of the ca
boose, the ships cook, and the butt of
an ungodly crew / write from con-
viction, the crew of snip being moth
ing if not an ungodly gang, owing,
doubtless, to their being widely astray
from the teachings and influence of the
Salvation Army seven-eighshs of the
time, and unable to catch on" to any
extent during the one-eighth they are
ashore. Well, the time comes when
you can be q cabin-boy no longer
cabin men are those who win their
spurs before tie mast"-and you must
give up the cabin for the foc's'le or
retire from the sea. Bound to blaze as
a Jack Tar you ship "before the mast,
when the nautical curriculum opens to
you its widest doors. A green hand
"before the mast" the well-seasoned
old salts make it as interesting as pos
sible-for themselves if not for you
and, until you become in a measure
seasoned, you will find exhilaration in
sailors life, if not content; pepper
pot, if not persimmons. The most un-
comfortable bunk is allowed you. If
there be any difference in the salt
horse, b. G.. bareback, tobacco, plum
duff, without the plums, be sure that
the difference will be adjusted to your
advantage, my lad. To make 1T
palmer, if need there be, let me say
that if turkey (fguratively speaking)
and crow come to the festive board in
the foc'sle, it will be turkey for them
and crow for you every time, until the
day, if ever it comes, when you can
sullivanize your way to the turkey and
other solid comforts to the fo'c's'le per-
tanning.
Time rolls on, months and years,
and after this most unsavory course of
sprouts you are billeted as third mate
of merchantmen. You are out of the
"gang" now, but are in for the second
mates civilities, generally rendered
with Delaying pin and brass knuckles,
the first mate and captain not disdain-
ing to pay their respects to you fire.
quently with word and blow, the
blow generally little ahead of the
word, or coincident Herewith, you
being held responsible for all the short
comings of the ungodly gang of the
fo'c's'le, your superiors never, never
failing to do their duty in the premises,
vi ct arms, as l have set forth, not SO
much on account of said shortcomings
as to impress indelibly upon your I'M
Outstanding the fact that they are your
superiors, and don't you forget it!
After rugged life of years, per-
haps, as third and second officer, you
get to be first, and there for years may
hang on the ragged edge of promotion,
captaincy coming to you in the end
or not, as fate declares. There is COM
pensation in this, however, that the
longer your promotion is delayed the
more savagely can you vent your spite
and spleen upon the second and third
officers, thus maintaining an equili-
brium, as it were, or balance of pc wer,
so to speak; not letting your hand for
get its familiarity with the Delaying
pin, even when the captaincy is Sc
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