The Republican journal., 1885-03-05
Bits Of Fun.


The girl stood on the roller skates,
But then she could not go;
She was afraid to tempt the fates
Because she wabbled so.
She called aloud. ''Say! Chawley, say!
DO come; help me along"
But Chawley went the other way,
Because his legs went wrong;-
There came a crush-a thunder sound!
The girl, oh, where was she?
Ask of the giddy youth around
Who viewed her hosiery.
New Casibianca.
A slow match-a long engagement.
[Citizen.
DR.. Mary Walker has gone to the Pa
cltic slope, but she can hardly expect
any one to slope with her.
At school, Teacher-John, spell ad-
mittance. John = AID -i-t-t-a-n-c-e
Teacher = Give the meaning. John -
Fifty cents.
The most fashionable evening costume
is bracelet of violets, worn above the
elbow. Fashion Notes. Hardly adapted
to this weather
Straight poker is older than the ever
lasting hills, but "draw" is claimed as
the idea of one Kirkman, famous turf
man of Tennessee, about forty years ago.
Christian at Work.
Mrs. Browning remarked, once upon
time, "Poetry is essentially truthfulness. :"
That is probably the reason that Eli
Perkins is such lamentable failure as
poet. Oil City Derrick.
President Arthur's son is said to be
over six feet in height, and weighs only
about I35 pounds. He can hardly be
called a "chip Of the old block" he is
only splinter. Boston Globe.
The latest elopement in fashionable So
ciety was that Of a wealthy young lady
With a railroad brakeman. 1t will pretty
soon get down to editors, Just as we have
feared all along. Lowell Citizen.
An aristocrat, who had named his
horse Bob, disclaiming all purpose to
honor the great infdel, declares that he
chose the title in order that he might
have neigh Bob in his family. Yonk-
ers Gazette.
Our office boys ettusion-"I held her
tiny hand in mine, and elapsed her fairy
form, and told my tale of ardent love in
language sweet and warm. And when
paused for lack of breath, she raised her
dimpled chin, and whispered low, 4
don't catch on, please sing your song
agin.' Globe.
The leader of the cowboy band at the
cattle convention uses a silver plated re-
volver instead Of baton. We have often
thought if musical directors would flour
ish pistol instead of stick the orches-
| ira might play better, but we suppose the
temptation to shoot would be too strong
sometimes. Philadelphia Call.
81 wish was an OWL" said the Young
her alligator belt "Why ?" she asked.
because then | could stay up all night,
| you know, dear" he replied. ''What
would you want to do such ridiculous
thing as that for 2" she Uttered 'To
wit: TO WOOL [Pittsburg Chronicle.
GLOW are you finding business, doc
tor 2 was asked of physician. Cap
ital,' he replied. Il have all can at
tend to-" II didn't understand that
| there was much sickness about" "No,
there isn't. But we physicians do not
depend upon sickness as an income. Oh,
my, no most of our money is made from
people who have nothing the matter with
them New York Sun.
A victim of street car pickpockets de-
termined to get even with them, so he put
into his pocket a pocket book containing
only a slip Of paper, on which was writ
ten the words: "This time. YOU rascal,
you've lost the reward of your labor y
He got into the car and waited, resolved
to have the first pickpocket that meddled
with him arrested. Twenty minutes
/ passed and nothing happened, and tired
OF waiting, he got out, having first as
sured himself that his pocket book was
safe. He opened it, and in the place OF
the white piece of paper was a blue one,
which he untoded and read as follows
"What sly Joker you are" Argonaut.
My DEAR" he said as he entered the
house, ''who is that gentleman across the
street Z" II am not sure, but think he
is an old beau Of mine.' GLOW long has
he been waving his handkerchief 2" ooh,
more than half an hour" as he trying
to tlrt with you y "That's Just what
annoys me. He may mean it for me or
for the lady in the bay window above. If
it's for me | ought to know it, and if it's
| for her I'll never speak to the shame faced
thing again as long as live, Oh, George,
You don't know how veXatious and uncer-
tain it Is to have roomers above you.
wish we had u little cottage of our own
/ Detroit Free Press.
A capital bull is related in the life Of
Dr. Sims, OF a cOuntryman of his own,
for whom he had prescribed an emetic,
who said, with great simplicity; "My
dear doctor, it is of no use your giving
me an emetic. | tried it twice in Dublin,
and it would not stay on my stomach
either time" This calls to mind the story
about a singer who, being rapturously
encored, repeated her songs. A stranger
who hao been at the opera was asked
how he had been pleased with her "Not
at ALL said he "Not at all! Why she
is the first singer in Europe" THAT
may be-" replied the man, "but she sung
81 bad last night that they made her sing
all her songs over again" Every Other
Saturday.