The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-03-19
THEY WEIGH HEAVY.
It Must be the Result of the Glorious
Climate of the Pacific slope.

| Climate of the Pacific Slope.
Near by were a number of ladies with
their escorts. They were being weighed,
and short, stout. little man was adj
justing the scale.
"Now, Mr.. Cheeseman," said the
lady who was standing on the platform,
''mind you be very exact. I weighed
one hundred and twenty-five pounds up
in Red Bluff, only two weeks ago, but
I've been running round so much since
I came down, that I suppose / must
have lost little. -
81 will be as careful as if it was
| sugar." said little Mr.. Cheeseman, with
precise dignity; "here's your weight,
madam, exactly to an ounce"
"Well, what is it?''
"One hundred and forty-three pounds,
five ounces and one-tenth of an ounce
Goodness aliven' shrieked the out
ragged lady; ''what do you mean, sir?"
Il mean just that. You can see for
yourself" responded Mr.. Cbeeseman,
tartly.
Eyes, Mrs. Rollins" spoke the other
ladies, inspecting the figures, ':he's
quite right-one hundred and forty-four
pounds, nearly"
'It's perfectly impossibler' exclaimed
Mrs. Rollins, wrathfully, flouncing off
the platform, she did something to the
scales; I'm sure he did,"
miss Minnie" said Mr.. Cheeseman,
briskly, ''it's your turn"
Mics Minnie Nuao noot 1itf1o oroo TWO
of about eighteen. She carried on her
arm gossamer, and her dainty little
high-heeled No. rs were encased in a
pair of rubber sandals. She dropped
the arm of her escort-a young man
with a straw moustache whom they
called Chariey-and mounted the scales.
Charley weighed me last, over in
Oakland" she said, giving that youth a
tender glance, land | only weighed
ninety-seven. Didn't I, Charley?''
''Humph!" calculated Mr.. Cheese
man, dryly, 81 should think Charley
ought to be able to tell your weight off
hand, without going to the scales. But
-let-me-see-why, young lady, you
must have been feeding up since you
were in Oakland. One hundred-and
fourteen pounds-three ounces, just"
"Why, you-horrid- thing!"
gasped Miss Minnie, looking round on
the rest appealingly.
''It's there, large as life," exclaimed
Mrs. Rollins, finding balm for her
late discontinue, land you look every
bit of it,
''It's these rubbers and this water
proof" said Miss Minnie, ruefully; Il
shouldn't have kept them on. But,
anyway, think he does something to
the old scales on purpose"
Next" said Mr.. Cheesman, shortly.
"Come, Mrs. Perkins, step up; it's your
turn"
mo, thank you,' replied the lady Ad-
dressed, I'm not feeling very well
to-day, and I think I'd rather wait"
80, come, come! What difference
does that make? Come ON and be
weighed"
NO" answered Mrs. Perkins, coldly
and firmly, 81 don't care to be weighed
to-day"
And then the other two ladies who
had not been weighed yet started off,
and the rest of the party, except an old
gentleman, followed after, leaving Mr..
Cheesman standing in mute surprise at
the scales. Finally he turned round to
the old gentleman and said, shaking
his head quizzically:
''1t's always the same way. If women
do lie about one thing, next to their
age, it's their weight. Now, they'll Just
hate me all day. Might have known it,
too; confounded fool! l lost the finest
girl in the State of Indiana, same way,
twenty years ago. l was just fifty
pounds ahead of her alleged weight,
before whole room full of people; and
the scornful look she gave me as she
got down off those scales will follow me
to the grave. THE IngleSide. -