The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-11-21

One glance was sufficient. Convulsed
with laughter, she seated herself on a
stone jar to recover sufficiently to rem
der the needed assistance.
"Martha Ann Stutson! What do you
mean? Haven't l learnt you never to
laugh at other peoples calamities2 And
here you be a-laughing right in my
face?"
"But, mother, never saw you in a
soap barrel before"
"Taint noways likely you will again
II git out of this one. Go out into
the lot an call your father an Tabe to
come here as quick as their legs'll fetch
EN-. But you needn't tell 'em what's
happened; they'll find that out quick
--a'a a4sa4.s- y rrssej, -orre.--ee:s b@~--n
sight, enjoyed another hearty laugh, and
ran for the men, who, dropping their
rakes fastened toward the house. Mar
tha waited at the top of the stairs, try
ing to compose her countenance before
entering the presence of her mother, at
least she led the way for Jabe, saying:
"Mother has met with an accident
down here. "
Peeing through the darkness, honest
Jabe exclaimed, on beholding her
mothers situation:
Chow did you get in there?"
'Its none of your business how L
came here. Pm here, and have got to
be go! out some way or other. Where's
your manners, Jabes Hovey, that you'll
stand there an laugh at me in this per-
dicke-ment? ?"
"Perdickerment! I should say it was
soap barrel, if l was any judge"
"What if tbs? Do you think I'm SO
big a fool that don't know what I've
got into? Martha where's your fatherP
Why don't he come along7"
"1e is coming"
eyes, SOS Christmas. I s'pose if the
house was a-fre he wouldn't hurry a
mite quicker.
"Why, judy" said Mr.. Stutson, on
entering the cellar, "where on arth be
ye, anyway"
"Where be 1? Can't you see moth
ing? Better put on your specks and
look in the soap barrel. Wal, declare
for it! Eff l hain't got to stand here
an wait for another to haw-haw and
giggle For my part, I don't see moth.
ing to laugh at. What are you thinkin
on, Giles Stutson, a standing there
laughing at me? What kind O. use il
it for me to learn Martha Ann to be re-
spectful when you, her father, DON
show no respect?"
"Come, come, mother, don't scold
if you could see yourself as we can
you d laugh yourself; you couldn't hell
it."
"But how came you to get in there
| Judy? Guess you must got foul OF tina
l-qitisr barrel"
"Giles, what do you mean a-talkln!
so when you know I was one of tn
leadin wimmin in the temperance cause
and the idee! accusing me right afor
my own child of doing sech thing.
"Wal, Mrs. Stutson, how are yo1
going to get out?" asked Jabe.
"That's what I'd like to know, Jabe
You git that wash bench around here 81
that l can have it to step onto, and yo1
take hold of this side, and Giles, here
you take t'other, and when you two his
me up, Martha Ann can scrape off tn
soap. Here, Giles, you amt good 70
nothing! Ye never was knee high to
toad. If ever git another man, II
git one that won't have to stand on
sheet of paper to reach soap barrel !
After numerous attempts, Mrs. Slut
son was partially outside the barrel
with one knee resting on the top, whel
splash she went back again, spatterini
the soap in every direction, a goodl
portion landing on Giles shirt front
while he, with the others, was enjoyin
another hearty laugh.
"Did 1 ever see sech pack of fools 2
"There's no use crying over spill
milk, Judy"
"Spilt milk an woman in barre
of soft soap are two different things
an you'll find it out SO afore you gi
through"
81 always told you, Judy, if you
do little less scolding, and use littl
more soft soap, you'd make a good man
more friends than you do now."
"Wal, I guess I've got enough OF
this time to suit you, and don't yo
never say soft soap to me again as lon
as you live"
After spending great deal of tim
and strength, Mrs. Stutson was at la'
as far out of her dilemma as the was
bench, and commenting upon her pc
sonal appearance.
| "Who ever see sech looking ere;
, ture? Caliker dress all spilled, shoe
stockings and the hull rig"
She then ordered Jabe to get a tu
Eof water and Martha to bring her clea
clothes. Mr.. Stutson had already gor
for the meat rack, thinking it woul
, have been cheaper to put it up In II
, first place than to have been hindere
in this way, and wishing women wou
mind their own business and let tt
men folks alone.
!, "Jest look at this cellar bottom,
: Mrs. Stutson exclaimed, San this benz
: an thingsl It'll take hull day t
!, clean it up as it ought ter be, an
= this because the men folks didn't ter
to things they'd orter."
! But from that day to this, whenev
Judy begins to scold, Mr.. Stutson say
! ga leetle more soft soap, judy" al
9 Judy is silent.
. s9Friend X.-I hear you are goil
!, to marry Miss Smith, the heiress, Cru
\ Gus-Yes, next week. She's de
= girl.
: Friend X.-I congratulate you, o
= boy. Fine property, eh? Any e
: cumbrances?
Gus-Er-none but Miss Smith.
1:x,:,cr -, DoCnahannN