The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1885-07-15
WESLEY AND HIS WIFE.
A Curious Letter Hitherto Unpublished
Showing His Domestic Troubles.
New York critic.l

oaoWAuS DoncStN lTouDlcSs
New York critic.l
John Wesley was married in FEBRUARY,
175l, to Mrs. Mary Vazeille; "a merchants
widow in Threadneedle street." who possessed
a fortune of about $4,000, secured to her
self and her four children. He was forty
eight. she forty-one. His biOgrapher, the
Rev. l.. Tyerman, says of their marriage that
it twas in high degree, an act OF folly; and,
properly enough, TO the end of hfe, both of
them were made to suffer serious penalty"
Mary life was ended ten years before her
husbands. She died i'm 1871, after having
made him miserable for thirty years. Wes-
ley survived her. living to the ripe age of
lightweight. In a worldly way he had gain
ed nothing by his marriage. 1t lost him his
fellowship at Oxford and at least temporarily
alienated his brother Charles and his wife.
His domestic infelicities are set forth in de-
tail in the following curious letter hitherto
unpublished
''CoLEFoRD. Oct. %. 1859.
'Dear Molly will tell you simply and
plainly the things web. dislike If you re-
move them, well. Ii not | am but where
was. dislike your showing any one my
letters and private papers without my leave.
This never did any Good yet, either to you
or me, or any one. 1t only sharpens and
embitters your own Spirit. And the same
Effect it naturally has upon Others The same
1t would have upon me
but that Thy the Grace of Cod
do not think OF it 1t can do no good 1t
dan never bring me nearer, tho it may drive
me further off. And should YOU do as you
often threaten me, then the matter is over. L
know what have to do. In all this you
are fighting against yourself You are fruS-
trating your own purpose. if you want me to
love you. You take just the wrong way.
No one was ever forced to love another. 1t
can not be; Love can only be won by soft
ness; Foul Means avail nothing. But you
say, Il have tried Fair Means and they did
not succeed If they did not none will.
Then you have only to say. This Evil is of
the Lord: am Clay in his Hand
81 dislike ., Not having command of my
own House, not being at liberty to invite
even my nearest Relations, so much as to
drink Dish of Tea without disobliging you.
dislike 8 The being myself Prisoner in
nay own house: the having my Chamber
door watched continually so that no Person
can 60 in or out, but such as have your Good
Leave. dislike, 4. The being but prisoner
at large. even when L go abroad, inasmuch
as YOU are highly disguised, if l do not give
you an account of every Place / go to and
every Person with whom l converse. dis
like, >, The not being safe in my own House
My house is not my Castle | cannot call
even my Study, even my Bureau, my own.
They are liable to be plundered every day.
You say, i plumber you of nothing but Pa
pers.' l am not sure of that. How is it pos
sible l should? i miss money, too, and he
that will steal Pin will steal q Pound
But were it so. Scholars Papers are his
treasure; My Journal in particular. But l
took only such Papers relate to Sarah Ryan
and Sarah Crosby That is not true:-What
are Mrs Landeys Letters 10 them? Besides,
you have take Parts of my Journal which re-
late neither One nor the Other. L dislike, 6,
Your Treatment of my Servants tho indeed
they are not properly Mine). You do all
that in you lies to make their Lives a Burden
to them. You brOw-beat, harrass. rate them
like Dogs, make them afraid to speak to me.
You treat them with such Hautiness, Stern
ness, Sourness, Surliness, Ill-nature never
were known III any House of mine for near
dozen years. You forget even Good breed
ing, and use such coarse Language as BELTS
none but Fishwife.
81 dislike, Z, your talking against me be-
hind my back, and that every day and almost
every hour of the day; making my faults,
(real or supposedly the standing topic of your
conversation. | dislike, 3, your slandering
me, laying to my charge things which you
know are false. Such are Ito go but few
days back: that beat you, which you told
James Burgess: that rode to kingswood
with Sarah Ryan, which you told Sarah
Rigby; and that | required You when we
were first married. never to sit i'm my pres
ence without leave. which you told Mr.. Lee,
Mrs. Fry, and several others and stood to it
before my face. dislike, ., your common
custom of saying things not true To in
stance only in two or three particulars: You
told Mr.. Ireland Mr. Vanilla learned Span
ish in a fortnight: YOU told Mr.. Fry Mrs.
Ellison was the author as to my intrigue in
Georgia; You told Mrs. Ellison you never
said any such thing; you never charged her
with it, YOU also told her that | had also
laid plot to serve you as Susanna was served
by the two elders. | dislike. 10.yOur extreme,
immeasurablc bitterness to all who endeayor
4 III, Il. l..
seph Jones, Clayton Carthy), breaking out
even in fCBl, unmannerly language, such as
ought not to defilc a gcntlewomans lips If
she did not believe one word of the Bible.
"And now: Molly, what would any one
advise you to that has real Concern for
your Happiness? Certainly, l, To show, read.
touch these Letters no more; if you did not
restore them TO their proper owner =, To al.
low me the command of my own House,
with free Leave to invite thither whom
please: g. To allow me my Liberty there
that any who will may come to me, without
Let or Hindrance; A, To let me go where 1
please, and to whom please, without giving
am account to any; 5, To assure me you will
take no more of my Papers, nor anything of
mine, without Consent: 6, To treat all the
servants where you are whether you like
| them or no) with Courtesy and Humanity,
and to speak (if you speak at all) to them, as
| well as Others, with Good nature and Good
| manners; Z, To speak no evil of me behind
my back; g. Never to accuse me falsely: 8,
| To be extremely cautious of saying anything
| that is not strictly true, both as to the Mat
| ter and manner and, 10. To avoid all Bitter
ness and Expression, till you can eyoid all
| Bitterness of Spirit
''These are the Advices, which / now give
| you in the Fear of God, and in tender Love
| TO Your Soul. Nor can give you aStronger
| Proof that | am, your affectionate husband,
/ JOHN WESLEY"
/