Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-19
BRIGHT BITS.
FREsHMAN-"May have the pleasureP"
Mrs Soclety-"Oui."
"Wha do we mean?"
20 U and !. ''-Rarpnrd LampOon.


"What do we meAn?"
80 U and I.''-HdrUHrd LamD0on
SHE had all of her dresses by Worth. Being
wealthy by marriage and borth; But by over
much north, She extended her gorth. And
soon was the tleshiest woman on orth.-Bur-
dette.
a STORY is going the rounds of the Webster
press that practical Yale graduate will lead
on lne college commencement season with an
Grafton on "fhe Scholar at the Calico Coun-
ter.'-Nelo Hagsn Josrn1g
THAT dreadful tired feeling!" is the catch
line that stares at us from q medical adver-
tisement. It may be possible to alleviate the
feeling If il is only functional; but there is no
hone for the man who was born tired.-Phi1a-
detDhiH CAL.
IT should be remembered, to the everlasting
credit Of Nebuchadnezzar, that, though he
cast Shadrach. MeshSch and AbednegO into
the fiery furnace, he did not ask them
wei, is this hot enough for you;"-PhuG-
dolphin Record.
THR cable informs MS that Young woman
caught fire at the Paris races last Sunday and
that they put her out with champagne. This
IS but another proof Of the superiority Of
lovely woman over man. man catches FIRE
from champagne and has to be put out by
main strength temperance Worker.
A COUPLE recently married in Lynn were
at loss for bridesmaid. a friend called at
an intelligence Office in Boston and secured
the services of handsome woman to act IN
Inc capacity desired. He paid SO for her
services. besides paying her expenses both
ways. She had never seen nor did she know
the contracting parties.-Bostoa Post.
a CoUNTRYMAN took home with him as a
memento OF his visit to the city a gilt-edged
card upon which was written a few lines of
poetry. what did yOu buy that fOr?' asked
his wife; you don't care for poetry" 81
don't 20 much on ordinary poetry" he re-
pned. "but this was writ by a dime museum
follow with his toes. / seed him do it. ''-Neao
York Sun.
A DEFINITION-''What is the difference be-
tween an accident and a surprise9" asked
Mrs. Spelter at breakfast. ''All accidents
are surprises. but not all surprises are acct
dents" replied 5. IF were t. tip over the
lamp 1t would he an accident. If you were to
say nothing about it it would he a surprise -
II see" sad Mrs. $. dangerously. "And if
you were to come home from the club sober
that would be both an accident and a sur
prise. The JttdGe.
81 AM planning a drama of the Twentieth
century" murmured the fair-eyed poet. as he
ran his of-dngers through his asparagusvan
cuTls. 1.-THE scene will be laid IN Canada and
the story VIII involve the passionate love be-
tween an ardent patriot of that land and an
American girl who is "A young thing and can
not leave her mother A happy solution is
offered by the project of annexation. 1t is
put to vote; the lovers rejoice by telegraph
over the early returns; but, alas! the solid
vote of the new eX- American bank President
cashier and paving teller citizens bury the
measure beyond hope Of redemption Tragi-
cal tableaux TO end the play!" And the
poets auditor said, "Great Scott '-Neao
York Tribune.
The IMPENDING HBBENEss.-
The sultry days come on apace
When we shall hear again
The Concord sages try to trace
The MeRses of the brain.
The Whence win wind his quivering tail,
About the Thinb-trees' bough,
And MARBLE to the Whatlet pale
dtty OF the Now.
The 1t shall grapple with the What,
The Ego with the Non,
While eagerly the angry Not
Devours the Ergo's spawn.
Then let the stricken Was 90 weep,
The Is ungaled play,
For summer jokes are just as cheap
AS those that bloom in May.
-Cle0eJGnd Leader,