Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1885-04-17
. Volume XII mo. "A 4 4
She Got all the News.

is your mother at home, bub:' in
quired lady as she walked up t. Il
house on North Side one day, and
found ii small boy with an old cam
paign hat on, sitting on the steps and
shooting pebbles at dog over the
way with rubber constructed Cat
ling gun of his own manufacture.
Noun, she iist gone to the grocery
to cit some goldfish for dinner replied
the hoy, pnnctuating his remarks with
snuflles, "'coz this haint our day for
meat. We only has it twicet week
now, coz SECS savin' up some money
to buy new cloak that's iis more'n
take the tuck out O Miss Bailem's;
for you see, ma jjst can't bear Miss
| Bailela, and it most kills her to see
her cone out with a good stitch on,
an every time she does git anything
new why ma takes on iis awful an says
she wonders what is BaiIem pawned
this time to buy it with, aud then she
begins to cut Us light on grub until
she kin collar sumpin thatll make
Miss Balem slam her door when she
walks along, AMMAN -
Don't hit that poor dog. bub. You
hurt him then, real bad. Don't You
know that's wrong:'
"No'um, ma says faint You see
that's Miss Nodget's dog, and ma is
| list down on her, Oh, awful. You see,
Miss Nodgrt has owed her three draw
! ms O tea for more'n two munths, an
she'd a bad cur skillet yit if ma hadn't
sent me after it, and then she'd broket
piece OIL the handle, an her man
an pa don't jibe on politics nohow,
and ole Nodget he-mam -
Isn't that your mother coming
yonder::'
"No'um Why, that's ole Miss Sim
mons. She lives in that yellow house
over yonder, an ma she jist hates her
! a blame sight worse'n she does Miss
/ Bailem, coz. you see, when ma went to
! lngeanny last summer to see her
brother what was going to be hung,
why, ole Mss Slmnins somehow she
found it out, an she jis got right up
an puton her bonnet an went around
to tell all the neighbor amman -
(Which grocery did your mother go
to? Rogers
"No'um You see, we used to git
al our things at Rogers, but finally
/ he lis got so he wanted the cash down
every time, an ma she jis got mad, an
said she would not have uuthin more
to d. with no man what gives thumb
weight, an palms off all his ole split
stuff on her, an' then ole Miss Rogers
she heard about it, an she jis come
fright over here, an hem ma they u.s.
had it up an down, ans-mamt
Did YOUR mother say she was COM
ing right back ?"
Noun. She said maybe she might
/ iis stop IA few minutes an see Miss
Nickum, coz she's got Il baby what's
got the measles jis awful, an her man
has jis been bilin' drunk for a week,
AMMAN -
"Will you tell her I've been here?
can't wait any longer. I'm Mrs.
Thompson"
"Yes'um. Oh, yes, you're the wo-
man what ma was talkin' about We'd
nesday. L member 1t coz that was our
| day for meat, AMMAN ?"
Did she say anything good about
me -
Noun. She jis said you put on
heap of style for grass widder, an
she jis thought it was a burnin' shame
that You was goin' to marry that
ole crossed eyed codger with d cork
/ leg, coz he hal money, 'thout gettin'
no divorce from the red-hea!ed boss
thief that-mam :,
Tell your mother she's good for
nothing CAD about, and she'd better
stay at home and keep her tongue in
her head or it'll poison her. never
want to put eyes on her again. Will
you tell her that::'
"Yes'um," replied the bov, as he
! fix d another stone in the sling and
= t ready 10 make the dog howl, too.