Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1885-05-02
THE SUNDAY LIQUOR Law.
How Strictly il is Enforced at Morn
ing, Noon n Night.

Early Morning-Scene--Outsid a
downtown saloon, front door locked,
blinds down, CLEAN of light and hum
of voices from within. First and Sec
ond policemen in front in earnest con-
versation. ~
Enter ingenuos reporter detailed to
describe how rigidly the Excise law is
enforced.
Reporter-(solus)-Well, we'll! The
police on watch at the door! Clearly
they mean business hereabouts. 1t
will never do to try the side door under
such watchful eyes. Ahem! l must
-dissembie.
He waits at the curbstone ~ostensibly
for q horse-car.
Enter third policeman, swinging club
and observing the heavenly bodies.
First Policeman--HellO.
Third POliceman-HellO!
Second Policeman-Whose turn is it
at the house?
Third Poljceman-The old mans
turned in and Deafy's on the desk.
Don't think there's anything on the
board, 'cept the Dutchman round the
block. He's been playin' fly with every
body; but big Mcguire dropped to his
racket this mOrnin' and run him inland
the gin joints shut up or running on
halt time. I'd better not monkey
round, for the rounds is due up above.
So long!
First and Second Policeman - So
long!
Exit from side door Early Potator.
Early Potator-Cto reporter whom
he recognizes)-Nasty morning.
Reporter-Very.
Early Potator-Have something?
Reporter was waiting for the po-
lice to move on.
Early PotatOr-Oh, the cops are all
right. Come right in.
They approach side door, while po-
lice move out of their way. A Figure
appears in front of side door.
Early Potator-It's all right.
Figure-All right.
They enter bar.room. Convivial party
of politicians and thee lonesome con-
sumers of cocktails at the bar. Bar
boy busy. Proprietor colloquial.
Proprietor-lf the retail men stick
together the jobs done and the laws
busted.
Politician-Well, you haven't any
reason to squeal. Business is brisk
enough.
Proprietor - That's all right, but
we've turned $50 away since midnight.
Eve go; d good MAI On the door and
he .gon't let any one i'll less he knows
be Is right. It's money out, but it's
the safest 20.
Politician (refectively)-The law is
a blasted nuisance, however YOU take
it. Fill 'em up again!
All drink and the side door swings
right merrily.
Noon-Hotel in the heart of the city,
bar closed, but loungers about it.
Enter reporter and glances around.
Reporter Ito lounger)-Shut up?
Lounger (smilingly-Oh, yes. Just
step right in over there. Bar closed.
Cafe o. K. All serene.
Reporter enters cafe. A dozen men
seated with bottles before them. Bot
tells halt full. Men ditto.
Waiter-Horder, sir?
Reporter-Rye.
Walter-'Ere you are.
Places bottle and exit.
Night-Concert hall. Music, vocal
and Instrumental, more OF less sacred,
but chiefly the latter. Crowd seated at
tables with amber fluid in glasses be-
fore them. A few with wine looking
Extra Dry. Consumers also looking
extra dry.
Enter waiter to reporter seated.
Vigorously scrubs the table, jinglei
glasses and waits an~ticipatingly.
Reporter-One beer.
WATERFALL! Weiss pier.
Reporter-No; lager beer.
Waiter-No lawker solt. Weiss pier
All ride.
Reporter-But 1 don't want weiss
beer.
Waiter-Veiss pier, all ride, l bee
you!
Exit and returns with a glass O.
Simon Pure lager beer.
Waiter (smiling)-All ride?
Reporter-All right.
Waterfall ride, | bed you.
Midnight report from the station
houses :-''Th Excise law was STRICT,
enforced in the precinct"