Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1885-08-22
VARIETIES.
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| uG WIZ 6CS oANnSo eAAN AiAS
kind who sea serpents.
The revival the polka dot suggests
to some people that the world of fash
is in its dotage.
Popular Songs.-"The Man in the
Moon is Looking Love-" Don't mind
him, Its more than likely that he's
full he'll sober up when the last quar-
Ter is gone.
When a barber seeks to make HIM
self sociable with customer in the
chair, he is probably "scraping an ac-
quaintance." -
Every seashore place of promise has
casino. A casino is sort of com
promise between church fair and a
burglary.
"What is the only unadulterated
thing in America ?" "The fool who
thinks he is getting anything. pure"
"Go up head"
An umabrell with pistol at the
end of the handle has been invented.
The old fashioned umbrella "goes off,
easy enough for us.
If, as stated, the stomach of an os-
trich is located at its back between the
wings, after have meal we imagine
it might look little round shouldered.
"Pa" said Johnny, at Barnum's cir
Gus other day. eff one of those Arabs
should fall down and knock all of his
teeth out would he talk gum Arabic.
A Hackensack woman set speckled
hen on dried apple pie, and in three
weeks the hen Matched fourteen night
mares with blue ribbons on their tails
"What does this mean ?" asked a
scholar, who had been scanning some
lines written by friend. "Oh," said
another, SIT doesn't mean anything.
1t is poetry"
Satan was early described as one
who went up and down the earth seek
ing whom, or what he might devour.
He was the original dead beat and
free lunch fiend.
"a harmonious color gives feeling
of repose in the home," says an art
journal. Therefore if you have
red-headed wife, furnish your house
in this same tint.
In Bombay, husbands cut off their
wives noses for punishment. The wo-
man in this country are too smart for
their husbands. They never talk
through their noses.
She asked him on Tuesday what
animal dropped from the clouds, and
he answered "The rain dear Then
there was only one suction in two
mouths. Xazfn yum 49,
The spring chickens was on deck.
Old bachelor Crusty remarked that it
was as tough as leather. "Shoo-leather,
suppose exclaimed the boarder who
never laughs.
A Vermont husband got wind ofthe
proposed elopement of his wife, and
frustrated it by keeping guard over
her silk dress. She wouldn't run away
in calico gown, and he knew it.
"You are always behind" pettishly
exclaimed lady, as her footman made
the carriage wait till he took his place.
CAV coorse Oh am, mem Old roide
on the front safe of Oh wasn't"
A scientist has discovered that drink
ing too much coffee will cause. bald
heads. If this be 50, what passes for
coffee in the average boarding house is
blessing in disguise as a hair preser-
yer.
$50 the missis is to be married, ea?"
said the gardener to the cook. AVIS;
and in illigant stoyle, too. She's goin'
fer ter have dhress thray yarruds long
and four pallbearera ter kerry it
The champion specimen of economi-
cal meanness has been discovered in
the man who tried to persuade a
dentist to use his first wife's wedding
ring to furnish Filings for his second
wife's teeth.
| Bubby stubbed his toe, and came
in crying to his mother. Come now,
Bubby," she said, after the extent of
the injury, "you are too big BOY to
cry over little thing like that"
"Well, mother" he then asked plead
ingly, am | biz enough to swear !?
"Have you heard the news, Pat 7"
said a Jester to and Irishman. "An'
what's that, sor?" 'The devil is dead"
"Take that, sor. It's all | have by
me, or / might do betther." whats
that for" II niver sind an orphant
away Imply handed, sor."
The author of "SiIver Threads
Among the Gold" had the courage to
apply for post-office and got one with
$242 year. There is some hope for
the fellow who wrote the original OF
"Gentle Spring"
An exchange says; "The backbone
of the Cleveland strike is broken.
That is well enough as far as it
goes but it is not 81 much the back
bone of strike that needs breaking
, as the jaw-bone.
An insane man threw flower pot
at Emperor William last week, ex-
; claiming. "Thus will the empire
break p 1t is, perhaps, needless to
remark that the thrower of the poi
was promptly jagged.