davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
a FITTING RERUKE.
How an Old-Time Bishop Was EffectuaiIp'
SilenceG by One of His CIergymen.

SilenceG by One of His CIergymen.
Years ago, before the Temperance
Reform had worked its way into re-
ligious circles, Bishop of New Jersey
used to furnish wine when he gave din
ner-parties to his clergy. One of his
clergymen, a total-abstainer, was sorely
grieyed at the Bishops habit, and sharp.
words, half in jest, half in earnest.
often passed between them. The Bishop,
though gifted with ready wit and an IN
surpassed grace of address, was not al
ways the victor in these verbal con-
tests.
At one dinner-party he said pleasant
ly to his guest: ''Mr. -, please help
yourself from the decanter before you"
The answer came, prompt and clear
Look not upon the wine when it is
red. When it giveth his color in the
cup, when it moveth itself Alright. AT
the last it biteth like serpent and
stingeth like an adder" The Bishop
bit his lip, but said gracefully: ''E you
have scruples for yourself please pass.
to your neighbor." Prompt and clear
came the second reply: "Woe unto
him that giyeth his neighbor drink,
that putteth the bottle to him." The
Bishop said. little tartly: Mr.. -,
if you will not join us please keep your
moralizin@ to yourself" but the reply
flashed back instantly: Thou shalt
in any wise rebuke thy brother and not
suffer sin upon him."
The resolute presbyter did right in
adheTnr to his PRINCIPLES. but perhaps
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28

great anticpations to the table. For the sec
ond course the salmon was served and every
mans mouth watered. The doctor served
the dish and they all fell upon it. The
first gentleman who took a mouthful
stopped suddenly, his face turned pale, and,
with quick movement he raised his nap
kin to his mouth. The guest noticed it, as
did the other guests, but too late
AstOniShment was seen in every muscle
of Doctor CrOsby's face when sharp ring
at the door bell announced an arrival. 1t
was boy with letter from the donor of
the salmon VINO stated that it was the finest
specimen he had ever. caught, and as he
knew DR.. Crosby was connected with the
Museum Of Natural History he had taken
the liberty of preserving it in alcohol and
-. DR.. Crosby has never yet had the
courage to read the rest of the letter. but
all the guests present, with their numbers
augmented by the person Of the donor Of
that fish, soon ate dinner at the doctors
house for which that reverend gentleman
paid in cash.-N. Y. Times.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
TOO LARGE.
A Scotch Anecdote with a Useful and Ap
propriate Moral.

A Scotch Anecdote with a Useful and APP
propriate Moral.
'Cut your garment according to your
CLOTH" says the proverb 81 shall make
specially of children's Diseases" declared
young physician. "That's right" said an
approving friend. Begin small and work
up! That's the only way to succeed" He
was but measuring the size of the patient
against the physicians youthful acquire
ments.
A Scotch farmer was leading a calf by a
halter across a bridge but on approaching
the rise of the bridge, the creature refused
to move farther. The farmer, seeing the
rural postman coming toward him, called
out
"Mister Postman wad We jist gle blast
O yer horn ahint the calf an maxi it come
on"
Tue postman gave a shrill blast and with
one bound the animal cleared the parapet of
the bridge and fell into the running stream
beneath.
The farmer looked from the pos tman &c
the calf and then back again, and finally
said:
mani man! that was far owre big a
blast for a calf p'-YOltth'S COmpd MON.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28

The Meek Traveller Proves Ills Courage
without Peradventure.
A lot of travelling men were seated about
a stove, in Southern hotel, telling stories,
when tie name of local tough and bruiser
was mentioned.
Hes a bad citizen, remarked one, land
I'd hate to tackle him."
"Bosh," put in a little drummer, in a
plug hat and a fiery eye, 81 tackled him
once"
Jaw, come off. You amt pitchin' on
a man like him."
"All the same, tackled him."
'May be you did when he was in one
town and you in another"
Not much. l went right mp to him and
called him a liar to his face"
Hold on, now, you can't give us dose
ike that"
"You don't have to believe it, If you
don't want to, but did just what tell you,
and | got the stufin' licked OUT of me in
about three-quarterS of minute, railroad
time"
The crowd took him out and filled him
up.-Merchd1t Traveller.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
Our National Shame.

Back in Dr.. Guthrie's time intem-
perance was called "our national curse,
our sin, our shame, our weakness. :"
That was the word of the preacher.
The people of Scotland are now taking
up the cry. They are contessing that
the large-minded, large-hearted re-
former was right when he said: X
speak the words of truth and sobernesS
when l say that this vice destroys more
men and women, bodies and souls,
breaks more hearts, I'll rs more families
than all other vices put together, g.
l appeal to every missionary and every
minister who visits these localities,
whether the great obstacle that meets
him at every corner is not drunkenness.
l believe we will in vain plant churches
and schools, though they be as thick as
trees in the forest, unless this evil is
stopped. . The Scottish people, as we
are informed, propose to stop it.-Chi-
cag0 STANDARD.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
TEMPERANCE ITEMS.


TwENTY-ONE counties in Missouri,
have baniShed Neutrality-suspicious. from
their borders.
TwENTY-EIGHT congregations in
Edinburgh, Scotland, have adopted I'M
fcrmcnted wine.
They call it ''iiquoring up" but both.
at the bar and in the gutter, it is liquor
ing-down.-CHrreH.
A WOMAN can kill her child by drink
ing | suppose that if women knew
that, they would be more careful. DR..
l.. ". Hem.
LOCAL OPTION is finding strong adj
yocates in England, and the opposition
to the rum traffic is increasing. The
Temperance tide is rising Let it rise
and sweep all before it. Ii is nigh time
to put the curse away. -E'Gchange.
HEARING that gigantic gin-palace
was to be erected in Westminster, Lon
don, Dean Bradley raised the necessary
funds for the purchase of the site. and
an admirable home and institute for
boys was opened as a result of his laud-.
able effort.
OSE of the causes of excessive infant
mortality is the pernicious habit of
drinking large quantities of ale or stout
by nursing moth IS under the idea thar
they thereby increase and improve the
secretion of milk, whereas they are
really deteriorating the quality OF that
upon which the infant must depend for
health and life. Mr. Harrison Branth-.
aOaite.
How GREAT an evil incompetence is,
in Great Britain, and how it lessons the
comforts and consultations of the poor
especially, may be learned from tho
fact alluded to by Canon Wilberforc6
in his sermons on "Some Sins of the
Day" that out of $4,000 paid weekly,
in wages at Jarrow-upon-Tyne, $4,000,
or one-third, found its way into the.
drinking places. And this is only 81
negative aspect of the evil. There is
positive side in the results of the drink,
ing, too narrowing, perhaps, to depict.
Chicago St0Hdard.
CANON FARRAR says: ''What does.
drink cost in human misery? Can J.
count the leaves of the forest, or the
sands upon the shore? And the sounds
of this misery are like the signing Of
the leaves of illimitable forests. and the
FLASHING on the shores of unfathomable
seas. Ii costs us mill
ions on money, nyriads of criminals.
thousands of paupers, thousands of
ruined women, hundreds of thousands
of men and women goaded by misery
into suicide of madness, with every
blossom in what might have been the,
garland of their lives blighted as by II.
Fury's breath. . Shall it be
nothing to you that the blood of your
brothers and sisters in this great fam
lily of God is being daily poured upon
the affairs of this deadlier Moloch of q
Tophet more awful than that of Hin
nom's Vale; while in disowning that
you are your brothers keeper, you be-
come his Camp EGtrGct from Tenn
Perance Calendar.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
CHAPTER III.

Six months later after brilliant and
fashionable wedding at brilliant and
and fashionable church. and a charm
ing wedding journey Mr.. and Mrs. Eu-
gene SylveStre. comfortably enscOnced
in their own luxurious home on Michi-
gan Avenue. once more hold sweet con-
verse anent that mitt'-that fortunate
''nlitt." He, after the manner of men,
has been telling her, perhaps for the
hundredth time, how fortunate it was
that that fellow who found that "mitt'
had come to The ScOOpcn1ug to adver-
tise it, and so given him the precious OPP
portunity. Here we will draw the cur
tain kindly, and resume further on.
Mrs. Svlvcstre, ioquitur, And dear,
dearest Eugene. do let me say further
that it was q mit-ten, not a 'mitt.'
None but a man would have called it so.
And still more, my dear Eugene did it
never occur to YOU that a fur trimmed,
heece-ined kid mitt, was wonderfully
warm wear for hot summers day?
did it not, dear Eugene with g
hooking tone impossible to initiate,
lever seem poss bic that lady might
by accident have had such mitten in
her shopping bag and chosen to drop,
not the Observation-Disclosures is the sui
tan 5 privilege, dear Eugene-but the
mitten. to the man of her choice; enter
a store by one door and leave it by an
other to prevent pursuit. and-but
listen while tell YOU little fable with
an application: A young fox was once
rowing hither and thither, when she saw
a goose. Her heart longed for that
goose exceedingly, and she planned
with subtlety to capture it. She"
You don't mean. Alice"-he began,
a curious expression dawning all over
his face.
Yes, I do" laughngly defiant; II
wanted Mr.. Sylvestre, and -"
You dropped that mitt purposely?"
with a mixed and settled purpose,
sir" with a flashing but somewhat
fearful eve and sweeping courtesy.
"Well''-a silence; then; 'Woman is
fearfully, and -"
"Unfathomable, dear Eugene, UNI
fathomable"' brislly; then coming
nearer, dropping her head on his
shoulder and raising her eyes as girls
can, she whispered: 1T l0aS wrong,
and an d1'eadjuily ashamed, but are
yOu sorry?"
Never, never" But before these
ungrammatically impetuous young peo-
pie we will a second time kindly draw
the curtain. 49, Chicago Times.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28

$50 I've heard" replied the cook. "They
are that way in Kentucky"
Eyes, found them much more so than
the Ohio people"
81 don't know about that" said Che
cook, Strengthening the dishes in front Of
him
IT'S so though. Why they showed me
every attention over there. Even went so
far as to give me pie"
The cook set full pie down in front of
him.
Thanks" he said, taking a good hold
on it. "As said they showed me every
thing, even the door"
Then he got out with the pie and the
cook broke the pitcher, which she threw at
nim. Merchant IrpUeler.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
HEART AND HEAD.

] loved her in the early spring,
When bluebirds mate and robins sing:
My heart cried haste! oh, speak make haste /!
My head made answer. haste is wastel
dropped the corn, sowed the wheat,
The summer came with blossoms sweet;
And all the time my heart cried haste,
And head made answer, haste is waste!
] stacked the grain, shearcd the sheep,
! reasoned that my love would keep;
My heart S loud cry of haste, oh, haste!
Was silenced still by haste makes wastel
The ground is covered DER with snow,
Another wed her weeks agol-
My hooking heart cries haste, make haste!
And mocking head, oh. haste makes waste I!
Jennie Il. DOiCe. in Century.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
JOKES ON HIMSELF.
Two Ludicrous Scenes in Which DR..
by PLAYED q Part.

Two Ludicrous Scenes in Which DR.. Co.'S
by Played Part.
. A very funny scene, of which Rev. DR..
Howard Crosby was the central figure &C.
Cured few days ago in Fourth avenue
car. The doctor and some ladies had lust
taken their seats, when a man whowas
considerably under the influence of LIQUOR
boarded the car and sat down opposite
them. His conduct soon became rather
boisterous, and two men who sat near bv
began to swear at him and threatened to
put him off. This naturally did not i'm
prove matters, and DR.. Crosby, seeing that
the ladies were becoming frightened, sig.
nailed the two sober men to stop their tan
TALKING, while he went over and sat down
beside the drunkard. After the minister
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28

one of them we give on Christmas morning "a
$l5O soalsllln sacque, which will take S3]J;CJl,-
the girls; but, presuming two for every house,
hold, they shall have every one a S25
dolman. These will cost $lO0,00OGl. To the
rolicking boys, every mothers son of them,
and two TO every MOTHER shall be given "a
$40 Overcoat. This last expenditure viii
amount to $4O,000000; but there may be days.
during the summer and autumn when bug
gy-ride would be great treat to the family.
Well. we will try and afford every man Il 500
horse and SIS Cincinnati buggy. and let hiI,a
shift for the harness. These two luXuries win
together cost S350.000,0UO. 1t will, perhaps.
now be wise to look to our bank account. OF
our deposit we have now spent 1929. 1900,
leaving to our credit $}TS. 00l 600 or $3.50 to
each OF the 100000 aborers. We would not
be dictatorial, but seriously advise that these
phcnOmenally favored men spend this remain
der on deserving charities.
What of the economy of rum?
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28

A man whose daughter had married away
from home wrote to inquire what kind of a
man her husband was, and received for re-
ply:
II tell you, father, he's a prime good
whistler, and you never saw such hand for
hapiacks in all your days. He's got blue
eyes, and his father belongs to church"
Chicago Ledqer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
When Dynamite May be Used.

That" remarked Alexander as he
watched the explosion of one of his
royal residences in Moscow, that re-
minds me of a statue of Minerva.
"And why, your Majesty2' deteren-
TALLY inquired the Lord First Groom of
the Observation-Disclosures
"Well. YOU see it is bust of Pallas. -
The court wore full mourning for q
week. - The RambLer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
COMPETITION.

Tramp Teaches a Lesson In Genuine
Hospitality.
"Mighty hospitable people in Coving-
ton," said tramp at the Kitchen table to a
cook at Walnut Hills residence.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
MAGGIE'S PET.

Maggie had little mule,
Its fur was soft and gray,
And everywhere that Maggie went
The mule inclined to stray.
One day that lucllless mule would go,
In spite OF all negatiOn,
Where Maggie daily went to ply
Her mental aVocatlon.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28

The children hailed the dOcile beast
With every mark of Joy:
They little thought those shapely limbs
Hadpower to destroy.
Now from his ink stained throne descendS
The master spirit; ne
Whose awful tones smote on the ear
Like some calamity.
But softly now he nears the scene,
And, with persuasion mild,
He tries to lead the gentle thing
Back to its native wild.
But still it would not go; it chose
To iuger with them still,
Aud all the learning on the sphere
4 Could not unbend it's will.
Skip, gentle creature, skip away,
Beyond fair meadows smile, f
Go beard the lion in his lair,
Is really worth your while.
Sweet patience will not last for ayes
The sage with flashing eyes
Now seized the pet hard by the tail,
And sought to compromise.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28

Pretty Miss Alice bingham, in her
own especial room next morning sitting
bolt upright, with stare of astonish-
ment, read the above modest request
Alice was a child of wealth. fashion and
refinement, but she had a brother, and
in her moment OF surprise, we regret to
say, her language was modelled in that
OF this near relative. She said, with
emphasis, too: "Wcll he has q gall!'
Suddenly she leaned back in her chair
and peal after peal OF laughter foated
unsteady around her beautiful room.
How successfully this fair fisher of men
had bated her hook and caught her fish
will be seen further on. Having laughed
TO her hearts content, she unused mo-
ment, then rose, attjred herself to go
forth conquering and to conquer, and
went, as she said, ito beard the lion in
his very dan"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-11-28
WASN'T AFRAID.

The Meek Traveller Proves Ills Courage
without Peradventure.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

People who indulge in what they con-
slider >u ubsti;ues for profanity do not relze
that they frequently use the oaths of the
ancients. In ancient Rome Castor and
pollux were the favori;es among the demi-
gods to swear by and when the people
said by Gemini, they meant to swear by
Castor Poiluy the twins. This Oath has
come down to US even to the present day
when the expression "By Jimmy" is
frequently heard. "The deuce!' is a
very ancienl oath, indeed as will appear
from the derivation to which it is refer
red--the Latin Deus-God Now a days
it is considered mild oath to say "the
de &c" "and it is a curious Thing tb at the
deuce is genellary supposed to mean the
"devil.' So people say, go to the deuee"
-Ex.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

There is small organization of So
cialists in St. Paul, but is not increas-
ing rapidly enough to cause any alarm.
In Chicago brancl, of this society has
attracted considerable attention of late
by public demonstrations. At time
when such business depressions As the
present one exist, these Socialists or
Communicates, attract more attention
than at any other time. With the re-
vival OF trade and an increased demand
for labor, these would-be troublesome
associations are lost sight Of.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23
Same Old Fool joke.

A young lady OF Olneyville had been
sitting in chair and arose to get some.
thing, and as she attempted to regain her
seat young friend Quitely Withdrew the
chair and allowed her to sit heavily Oh
the floor. The next day she was taken
i'll and a physician Was summoned and
for two months he has peen applying
bandages, plasters, etc, 10 save the .;oung
lady, who is Is years Of aye, from perm
anent curvature Of the spine. AS it was,
her body became bent, and gave her
friends great alarm. 1t will be five Years
before all danger of spinal disease will be
removed Providence Journal
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

The Washington Gazette says in almost
every case in which man has fallen in
love with q girl dressed ia bathing suit
and afterward married her, a diyorce has
followed within two years. .
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

The French for ces are being in
creased at Tonquin, and Il general for
ward mo vemeut is expected within :
short time.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

It is now conceded that Col. John c..
Spooner will BE- elected Uunited States
senator from Wisconsin,.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

General Drum says that during the
last five years ,90l soldiers have de-
serted from the regular army, or near
~ every other man.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

Less than Is per cent Of last years
wheat crop in Northern Dakota re-
mains unmarketed aud much o; that
amount is for see,l. About 20 per
cent less land will be seeded 70 wheat
i'll that locality the coming spring than
there was last season.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

Senator Blackburn Says that there
are Sc, 900 applicants for office in Ken
tucky alone.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

The Second Regiment Of Minnesota
volunteers held their annual reunion
at st. Paul on Tuesday. The attend.
ance was quite larse- -
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

Fitz-John Porter is still trying to be
reinstated in the United States army,
and the question was brought before
congress again on Monday.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

Hon. Wm. ". Evarts was elected
by the state legislature on Tuesday.
It WAS wise choice, and as he was not
identified with either the a|f-breetls
or staIwarts, it is hoped that his elec-
ton will end to unite the party ia that
State
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

Pi]lsbury u Iiuibert's elevator at
Georgetown, near Moorhead, was
destroyed by fire no Monday, together
with 20 900 bushels Of wheat which it
contained.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23
Fatal Accident III the Pineries

II t+eea1 <ACCiNCAG Iki tHc IANCE1CS.
Brainerd Dispatch. On Thursday eve
ming man was brought to Brain*rd from
Tamarack above Aiikin, who had been
badly hurt in the woods at that place
He was at work tor Beatty s. Bray, and
was engaged with several others in cut
ting down Il large tree They had i,
nearly sawD off and thought they couli
get out Of the way. but the tree :ell s,rk-
ing against q birch sapling which was in
turn pulled down, striking the
man in the side tearing hi.a open and
exposing his intes1ines and breaking
his leg. He was taken TO the nearest
! railway station and brought 10 this city
: for medical aid but died in the depot
soon after the arrival OF the train lie was
young man and lives in Minneapolis
where his rsllains were forwarded. ".
were unable to learn his name.
Uncle l1sek's Wisdom.
From the Century for January.
1t is 10. power, but the balance OF
power, that wins.
Men oficn climb halfway Np the lad
Ger and stay there; but it is seldom they
fall halfway down ard stop short Of the
bottom
! Familiarity is not Friendship; puppies
end ali tAtir frolics in quarrel
There are lots Of people who never
know sny'hinG uniI thcy run agains, it,
and then they know too much
Every one expects to be remembered
after they are dead and yet not one III q
million can give any good reason why.
Revenge makes a hornet repcclable
but it is dastardIy in a man.
| You can't be familiar vi.nout losing =
certain unount Of rcs'':rt for yourself
and for the other m q, 700,
The great msfortr. with most Of u.
! is, VIC are constantly !c;'>;n@ aheed fol
our experience. ing 4 ! u ;ovk ing behind
No man can eApec, ~ I've with The
vlrtuous and miug,e Win ;:e ricious and
keep pure.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

4 bill has been introduced in the
Dakota legislature to remove the capt.
tai from Bismarck to Pierre. South
Dakota, which favols this scheme,
controls over one-haf Of the votes Of
the legislature, but it is probable that
the governor would veto such a bill
shOu!e it pass,
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

+. $. Case, president OF the Bank Of
Wadena, has been compelled t" make
and assignment. 1t is thonght the
liabilities are about So, 900, and the
assets SO, 900 more
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

Stock IS doing very we'll in Montana
this winter, as the weather has not
been unusually severe. The perez nt~
age Of loss in Texas has been create r
than in Montana.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-01-23

The sparrjnS match between Sullivan
and Ryan in New York on Monday
evening WAS stopped during the first
round by tho authorities. Both men
were in good condition, and tho meet
ing Of these giants attracted great
crowd Of sportsnen.