davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
FOR THE LADIES.

There is good story going the rounds at Bal
Harbor about marriett~fady there who has two
beautiful dogs and one beautiful child (some think
the child is better looking than the pood!es but
that is merely a matter of tastc.l Last Thursday
night she was dressed to go to the Assembly" aud
81 friend OF hers was waiting for her In her room
On her bed were sleeping her dog and her son. She
bent over and kissed the dog and passed out. Hel
friend remarked that she hadn't kissed the child
"Oh!" remarked the fond parent, 1.-The dog is sc
good and the child is so bad that can't go out al
night without kissing my little dog before leave.
Philadelphia Press.
Lady Duflern has formed in India National
Association for supplying female medical aid =
in sickness. Hitherto these women have been de-
prived of skilled medical attendance. no European
man being allowed to approach them Lady Duff
FERNS movement will doubtless do much to break
down the social barrier between Europeans and
Indians besides be5:owins incaleulable blessings
upon the Indian women.
Miss Ieona Call has filed Greek professor
ship in the Iowa State University acceptably
since her brotherss death that 1t is likely size will
be formally elected his SUCCESSOR.
A bride in Dover, en- Ohio Township, was so
overcome by excitement during the marriage ccre-
moHy recently that she tainted upon its conclusion
and has since been very ILL.,
"A widow woman " over IN Centrslia, Ill, has
been turned out of the church on charge of " Of
fensive Christianity preferred against her by a
young lady member. The offense, the widow de-
claTes consisted in her having mentioned that a
former paSter was accustomed 10 salute the young
lady in question with kiss when circumstances
made 10 convenient. She believes that there lS
nothing in this to justify being turned out of church,
and proposes to cUntest the matter by suing the
minister for $1,000 who assisted in bouncing her.
The pastor who has been sued has fled to Europe.
W hat has become of the pastor who administered
the kisses Is not known, nor Is 1t material. IL IS
sufficient to know that he IS still on deck some
where.-LididRGP0fis Journal.
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
A C0l0red Man Whe Deserved Help.
TEL; DerL,,e Il, p.efn, Daon,<y


The other day at dinner Prof. Henry, of
Harvard College, was seapning line of Virgils
hexameter to illustrate the meter to rich
business friend who had not read the classics
"Longfellow's 'Evangeline' and Virgils
epics," said the Professor, were written in
the same hexameter. Now the first line of
Virgil is scanned like this: Arma-vi-rum-
que"
"Why, declare" he said, hcsitating, "pve
forgotten the old familiar words"
"Shall | give them to you2" asked the
waiter, politely.
"You?" asked the Professor, in astonish-
ment.
"Yes, SIR" said the black man. They are
'Arma riruMqne cano TrojGe Gui primus ab oris "
Great guns!" exclaimed the business mill
lionaire. "Where did you learn Latin?"
"At college, sir" said the waiter.
When the rich man found out all the poor
negro's requirements and ambition and poverty,
he asked him how much it cost him a year at
Harvard University.
1T costs $13O a year, and I've got three
years to CO."
"Well, here" he said is $5OO-you can
keep the change, and when you get through
come and see Nathaniel Rugglos, in Dodge City,
Kan"
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
SCIENTIFIC CHAT.

Some of the French papers speak of the new
explosive called miners powder much prefer
able in certain respects to the nitro yeeYne COM
pounds. 1t resembles ordinary gEnpowter, but
with the difference that chlorate of potash is used
the oXidiZing agent instead of saltpeer. Carbon
il supplied in organic FORM and the preparation
is very simple. A given weight of chlorate of pot
ash is dissolved in water. and quantity of slwdust
bran equal in weight to the chlorate of potash is
stirred into the liquid tho mass being then allowed
to dry. The sawdust powder, however, though
cheap Is less safe to prepare and handle than that
made of bran, resin, which is very likely to be
with chlorate of potash. a compound which deto-
mates on being suddenly disturbed This new
powder possesses. weight for weight about twice
the power of ordinary gunpOwder.
In Greenland attempts have been madeto raise
some Of the common plants of our gardens. At the
Danish station of Godthaab latitude 6iT, close
to the open turnips radishes lettuces and pnrs
ley almost the only plants that can be cultivated
with any success. Attempts have been made to
cultivate potatoes, but the tubers never attain n
size larger than marbles and are only grown aud
eaten as curiositcS. Under the most favorable cir
cumstances green peas only produce shells, in
which the peas are barely recognizable
- Red squirrels lose no time in picking out the
toothsome mushroom from the tempting toadstool
The cute little creatures never touch the latter, but
the mushroom is nuts" to them, and no doubt
they make merry when they read daily in the
papers of some poisoning case of the sort. hat
fools these mor.as be who eat tOadstools chuckles
the red squirrel.
The great nebula Of Andromeda has just be-
come an astronomical puzzle. 1t now shows IL STAR
point in the midst of its luminous traeery upon the
blue black background Of space.
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
PERSONS AND THINGS.

There is a professional master Of character In
cagraphy at Aixles Bains, an abbe, dark, bearded,
his preStly costume giving air OF clerical dignity
He il the hero of the hour and there interesting
saance5 in the apartments of great ladies Supersti-
tious Italians have already declared him nearly al
lied to the evil one 1t is said that taking letter
written by person utterly unknown to him. he
will draw oral portrait of tho writer, to the
color of the hair and eyes, and sketch the moral
and mental characteristics Of the individual with
completeness
"A 26th District man tells that short time
ago the Hon. W. c. Sheffield hired Mr.. d. B. Black
we'll to dig well in the bed of a pond which he
wished drained Off The well was dug and sub
terranean stream reached but instead of the water
In the pond running out through the well. the
water in the underground stream flowed up through
the well and made the pond larger. drowning out
acre or more Of cotton M Not satisfied size No. tG let mat
we'll to dig ditch from the pond to his mill-pond
near by, when 10 instead Of the smaller pond run
ming into the mill pond, the mill pond out into
the little one overflowing its banks much that
90 acres Of cotton were destroyed.-Earfy County
(Gal Ne,ps.
1T is estimated by Mexican officials that the
yearly loss to the Treasury of Mexico by smuggling
along the northern frontier Is not less than 81 5,
600. The United States Consul at Guaymas esti-
mates Tic value of goods smugged from this coun-
try the Arizona frontier at 5000 600 annually.
1t is believed that long as the duties levied by the
Mexican Government are so high, SO long will
smuggling be continued and the smugglers risk
their lives for large profits.
Seven thousand persons, saints and sinners. all
told have been buried by Gravedigger McNamara,
of Staunton Va and his spade is bright enough to
reflect his wrinkIed features frosted by SO Winters
He can dig grave, "secundem artem," more
quickly than any young man in the Shenandoah
VALLEY.
james Russell Lowell once said satirically:
If that little ribble of Avon had succeeded In
engenderins Shakspere, what giant might we not
look for from the mighty womb of the Mississippi"
The Koh-i-noor, the Queens celebrated dia-
mond, was committed by the East India Board to
the care of John, afterward Lord, Lawrence He
dropped it into his wastcoat pocket and thought
no more about it, He went home, changed his
clothes for dinner and threw the waistcoat aside.
The National tribune., 1885-09-17

cemented the band which held it together
so long under such trying circumstances, that
the beardless boy grown to manhood during his
service, the middie-aged and the gray haired
old veteran were as brothers, aud ever ready to
resent a wrong. When its mission was over the
comrades ionged for home and its many COM
forts, which were left Behind when our country
was in danger. Our anxious wives and chill
drcn, our parents and brothers and sisters were
waiting FOR their 1ovedftncs' return. The eva
cant chair" had been drapcd in many house
hold. and carefully guarded by loved wife,
ia; her and mother. It's former occupant fills
an unknown grave.
The division is Tiisbanded. the veteran mus
tered out farewells and g od -bless-yous are said,
and the veteran o.ice more returns to the people
from whence he csme |. few years before, the
war of the rebellion is n thing of the past aud
the suferings and privations of army life are
forgotten in domestic felicity. Twenty years
of peace and prosperity to this Nation makes
its people forget what it owes to those boys in
blue who are prematurely old.
Attention, Army OF West Virginia! The ene-
my has charged your line Of honor, which all
brave men hold sacred In memory of our
honored dead who fell upon scores of hotly-
contested battlefelds and innumerable skir-
mishes and reconnaissances, forward! and as of
yore charge his advance and hurl hack in dis
dain his epithets, aud forever silence his SIAN
derous batteries
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
Polishing His Brothers Skeleton.

Hong Dot, of E. Lungs laundry, No. 81 Mas
sachusetts avenue, will begin his return trip to
China in about fourIweeks. The purpose of his
long journey is to takol home the remains Of
his brother, Hong Shing, who died here six
years ago. Thetwo Hongs came to indianapolis
in 1874, but Shingy the younger, who was 20
years of age, was siGkly and always required q
good deal of his brothers attention. When he
died he was buried in Crown Hill to wait Hong
Dots time for removing the remains to the
family resting place in China. Recently Shins's
grave was reopened. The skeleton was taken
to Kregelo & Whitsett's, where Dot, with broth
erly care, prepared it for transportation across
the country to San Francisco, whore it will be
placed in the care of tho Six Companies, who
will see that it is sent to the Flowery Kingdom
Dot in caring for his brothers bones, would
have no one to help him but negro. who did
not readily take to the work. The Chinamans S
example of industry, however, soon beat down
his objections and the African aud MongOl
washed, secured wiped dry and neatly packed
every atom of the late Shing for the journey
to the last restng-pl place.
When the coffin was opened all the bones had
fallen apart, and Dot was very solcitOus lest a
scrap woald be overlooked At the undertake
ing establishment an inventory was taken,
when the devoted brother and his ColOred as
sistant went to work in scraping and washing.
The latter process was done twice, and then
came additional securing and polishing. even
of the finger and toe nails, which had been
closely collected The thigh bones, when they
came from the hands of Dot and the African,
were ivory white. Shing's skull, after being
washed inside and out was filled with costly
muslin. The teeth were carefully cleaned and
polished. Dot came across false tooth and
threw it away. Ho wanted to take nothing OF
Shing which the art of man had supplied
After the cleansing process had been completed
every part of the remains, down to the finger
and toe nails. was wrapped with muslin and
then with heavy MANILA paper. A neat pack
age of the bones was then made, with a col
lection of Confucian proverbs on narrow slips
of pasteboard, highly pictured, in each end
Dot then opened capacious valise put the
package in it, locked it, paid the undertakers
and carried all that remains of Shing to the
laundry on Massachusetts, avenue, there tc
await the trip to China. After seeing the bones
resting in the family burial place Dot will re-
turn to this country probably next year.
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
SEPTEMBER SMILES.

-Cowboy-"St Stranger. there's some good men In
this gang, yOu betcher life. DO YOU see that quiet,
inoiienslve little man over there? EN-, You woudn
more men, would you?" Tenderfoot-" Goodness
gracious, moi Has he?" Cowboy" You bet,
pard he's DOCTOR TenderfoOt-" ON, see.'-
Chicago Rambler.
-Ofcourse, on such bright morning she couldn't
resist calling around to see how many of her friends
had returned from vacation.
Why, Cieely, DEAR" she exclaimed, so you,
too, have returned?''
"Ye-es, I-I-that is, haven't been away"
But you have beautiful tan on yoGr complex
ion"
"Oh. yes. That cost me 25 cents. while vaca-
ton would have cost Sl2a. III have new cloak
this Fall, and you'll have to fix up your old one"
1t was cool enough to put the cloaks on lmme-
diasely.-Har!ford Post.
"A small son of a Raleigh man, when asked il
he was not very much frightened when the light
ming struck his fathers house, replied: " No, de
Lord wasn't gwne to hurt me; it was daddy he
was fler."-RaleiJh {R. C) Observer.
A Canadian paper announces that " men make
big and sudden jumps i'll the United States" A
sly aiusion, of course 20 our numerous abscoaders
-"There's n man." said Smith TO Jones direct
ing attention to person passing down the street
there's a man who has done some good in the
world"
"Ah! indeed" said Jones; "i is he s Concord phi
losopher?"
cure for chilblains. ."-Boston Courier.
A Belfast gentleman and wife We're riding out
one day recently and stopped at house on North
port avenue anu SSsSu iOf uEliAh oi ihhA. Int
young lady informed him that they had only
skinned milk. which the gentleman said would
do. After drinking the man insisted upon paying
for it bI the youul, lady refused She finally said
"We want no pay. we give skinned milk to pigs "
-BeltIst Journal.
Younr Recior-You 60 to the Kindergarten
little girl?
Little Girl-Ycth, thir.
Reetor-There are many little boys and girls al
the kindergarten?
I.G-Yeth, thir.
Rector hope they are very good, and never
say or do anything naughty?
i. G.-Well, thir. Johnny Sharp did thay that
Harry Brown wath d-n fool; but, then, he ith
you know Life.
C;oodhart hospitabe but deaf-Hello, Jones old
man you're looking wretchedly. Come up and
take dinner with
Joucs-You really must excuse me. I'm going
TO the funeral of a very dear friend.
Goodhart-Eh? what? Why, bring your friend
along.-LJe
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
HE WAS CURED.
The Whipping-Post as a Promoter Of M0ra!ity-Its
Effect Moses.


They were going to whip man at the public
post at Glendale, Va, and three or four of us
rode over from the Malvern Hill battlefield to
see the operation. The culprt was burly, big
negro, and the audience, numbering about 500.
was mostly composed of blacks. When we
reached the scene the man was already triced
up. They had his wrists lashed to cross bar
on the post, his sleek and greasy back was BARE
ana he was trying hard to work his courage up
to meet his fate like a white man.
Hi! dar, Moses-doan' you wish you
hadn't?" quered one of the crowd.
Niger, you go long!"
"Tll bet he'll squirm like an cell"
"An' you'll h'ar him holar mile away"
He answered most of them grufily, but one
cOuid see that he was ratified" When the
official finally appeared strap in hand, Moses
broke down and began to beg Not one black
person in that whole crowd seemed to pity him.
Indeed, his own wife pushed into the front
rank, her faced covered with q grin, and called
out:
81 dun tole ye, ole man! Reckon dey am
gwine to tickle we all over !"
The official laid on the strap and counted out
one-two-three-a so on in a loud voice,
and when he had reached 80 old Nose was the
worst licaed darky in Virginia. After the
third blow he yelled and whoopcd and prayed
and begged, and his wife sat down on the
ground and waved her arms around and shouted
Z" Jist you harken to him He hain't got no
mo- grit dan hoy fo' vars ole!"
After the licking one of our party inquired
of Mpses how he felt.
% feel dat dc bad has all gone outer me, sab. "
"And you won't steal again ?"
"No, sah If you should lay a millyun dol
lars down dar in do road dis chile wouldn't
nebber tech it. No, sab. He'd jump de fence
an make break fur de woods !"
This will be a warning to you."
eyes, sab. From dis time out amt gwine
to do muffin but git up camp meetin's and show
desc yere niggers de path to glory!"
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
He Was Not Prepared.

A few years ago the people of a certain town
ship were about to celebrate the opening of a
new bridge, and invited n young lawyer to de-
liver the Grafton. He had made no written
preparation, supposing that lawyer ought to
be capable of speaking without note or notice
any number of hours, on any subject, in style
of thrilling eloquence.
Therefore he trusted to the occasion.
He stood out upon platform erected near
the bridge and began, amid the profound and
attentive silence of his audience:
Fellow citizens: Five and forty years ago
this bridge, built by your enterprise, was part
and parcel Of the bowling wildernesS!"
He paused moment. Yes fellow citizens,
only five and forty years ago, this bridge, where
we now stand, was part and parcel of the howl
ing wildcrness!" ~ ~
Again he paused. 3 90
(Crics of Good! Go on!")
al feel it hardly necessary to repeat that this
bridge, fellow w-citizens, onlyfve and forty years
ago was part and parcel of the bowling wilder
ness, and will conclude by saying that wish
Il wish it was part and parcel of it now!"
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
Winning $4,000 on One Hand-Fifieen Hundred
Dollars From $40.

NihHlnS SfI,UOU ON Vne Hanu-Fnteeu NuHuEeu
Dollars From S7.20.
Nashville American.
/ was sitting in a room in the Maxwell House
with Gen. N. b. Forrest several years before his
DEATH
"Gen. Forrest" l asked, sit has often been
said that previous to the war you were terror
at the poker table. How much did you evor
win on one hand2"
Ho replied: 81 have played few heavy
games and many light one. In New Orleans
on one hand / won $4,000"
"And what did you hold?"
Three kings and two mines"
/ have always regretted l didn't ask him
what his opponent held, but l did not. He
told the following story, his eyes filling with
tears during its recital: "When my wife and
went to Memphis after the close of hostilities
we had $7.20, not a cent more or less. We
spent one entire afternoon ransacking an old
portfolio hoping to find some old uncollected
account, or I. o. u which 1 might realize.
There wasn't thing. / said to my wife :
Rhoda, you have always been against me and
poker; never played a game since l first
knew you that your absent face was hot a
haunting rebuke over one shoulder. Now, l
have been invited to Snecd's to dinner to-
night, and / know there'll be cards. If you'll
give me your blessing this once my dear, | feel
mighty sure / can come home richer man.
Said she: Forrest, we've got along with
out that, SO far as have known, and by the
Lords help we'll still go on without it,
EYES, said /, but the Lord has been slow
of late, and seems to be gittin slower; what
dye say to this ono timer She never con-
sented, but she didn't oppose it very strong, and
/ promised l wouldn't go over the S7.20. 1t
was just as l expected. Four tables were run
ming at Sneed's, ana l won enough at so cents
ante to go in at higher table later on. Well,
sir, as won-and won right from the first
l just dropped the money into my hat on the
floor, and when We broke up at daylight put
my hat on with the money in it, without
counting it over, and went home. AS came
near to my house caught glimpse from the
outside Of my wife's white figure waiting right
where she had waited all night, pale and anx-
ious, and when l went in just took off my
hat and emptied 81 500 in her lap. felt sorry
for her, for she couidn't bless that nights do
ings; but, sir,---it was great relief for me." !"
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
"VICTORY."

Our readers who enjoy Whit at the old
soldiers campfire comforter are referred to the
advertisement of the Victory Smoking To5ac-
co, manufactured by Messrs. d. Bucbner & Co.,
of New York city, which will be observed in
another column. This tobacco has achieved a
wonderful reputation among smokers, owing to
the fact that it is as cheap as the cheapest and
at the same time is as good as the high priced
fancy brands. If it cannot he obtained of a local
dealer Messrs. Buchner will mail q package
postpaid to any address in the United States
on receipt Of serea cents in stamps. Try it. 1t
is indorscd by Gems. Rosecrans, Paul Van Der
Voort and Geo. S. Merrill.
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
She Had Some Sense.
IRGiHbter.1

Little Jennie was capsizad in boat one day
and would probably have been drowned had she
not had presence of mind enough to keep her
hands and feet moving, and thus keep herself
afloat until help came. When she was retiring
that night her mother told her that she must
thank God for having rescued her from watery
grave. which she did in the following way ::
"Dod, am oblidthed to 90 for helping to thave
me fwom dwowning-and then had q little
thenth mythelf."
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
Schooling of Marriage.
IphiIndeInhia Cal.

"Good gracious, Dasenbeiry! didn't know
until to-day that y9g had been married three
times"
"Yes, Bromley, have taken all the degrees.
The first wife knocked all the romance out of
me; the second taught me erhumility-"
''And your present wifo?"
"Made philosopher out of me. can bear
other peoples troubles with a great deal of
self-compIacency"
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
A PuEn;ng Match,

Tt0MMcfcldI EuUfftlI
The young lady is in evening Dress" said
one of DIR. Holmes friends as rather elabor-
atey dressed damsel stepped out on the hotel
piazza to admire the sunset.
1.-The close of the day, my dear sir" re-
marked the witty Professor.
That is Holmesp pun" was the reply.
81 am worsted," concluded the poet.
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
Hoods SarsoDarylTa

This successful medicine is a carefully prepared
extract of the best remedies of the vegetable
Kingdom known to medical science as Alternatives,
Blood Purifiers. Diureties, and ToDics, such az
SarsapariIla, Yellow Dock. Stillingia, Dandelion,
Juniper Berries, Mandrake, Wild Cherry Dark
and other selected roots, barks and herbs. A
medicine, like anything else. can be fairly judged
only by its results We point with satisfaction TO
the glorious record Hoods Sarsaparilla has en-
tered for itself upon the hearts of thousands Of
people who have personally or indirectly been
relieved of terrible suffering which all other
remedies failed to reach. Sold by oil druggists.
81; six for IS. Made only by c. I. HOOD i CO..
Apothecar;es Lowell Mass.
The National tribune., 1885-09-17

Halls Hair Renewer makes the hair moist,
soft, and glossy, and is unsurpassed as hair
a
The National tribune., 1885-09-17

One Of the OrthogrsphicaI Oddities.
San FfoRcisco Call.
The circumstance may be noted that 900 out
of 1000 persons spell "supersede" with a &C."
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
lie Wanted to Get Back.

Chicago Ne,rs.l
"Say, e'nduct'r, I'll you (hcl turn this seat
over2"
"What do you want the seat turned for ?"
SCOT carried by my station. Want & git back. y
The National tribune., 1885-09-17
FORESTS POKER STORIES.

[The cnd.1