The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-08-22
RoLLO AND HIS FATHER.

Selected by the Authorities.
Mr. Holiday was confined To the
borsa NV severe ottock Of rbenno
.;o, ,r" IIa,I;1..' - - ~ IT,
'ioLn' '.9 4ui' iioi''0''S oi'oSo ~ G,'i, -,
III Will De hotlced that ME- hollluaY
was not above the habit, common to
most Americans, of using a long word
where a short one would better servo
fine nurrosa
AS has bean said Mr. Holiday vas
confined TO the house bv a severe attack
of oou-. beo pardon, of rheumatism
and RolIo. as was his custom, com.
forted his father and made him 0nita
FORGET his bodily main nv nlvino him
continually with connndrHms
"Fathcrm said RolIo docs fa4 rur
faster than Ipanp,,
yes. Rollo. in hot weather mnch
faster: but WHY do YOU ask NV SON 80
replied Mr.. Holiday, winking at Jonas.
who was engaged in bandaging the old
gentleman's foot.
because. father" said Rollo. az
notice that they never make man a
police officer until he is very fat
Mr.. Holiday was much pleased to
find that Rollo was so observing: though
Jonas remarked under his breath upon
which there was suspicion of whisky)
that nobody with eyes in his head could
help observing that
The reason why fat men are selected
for policemen, Rollo," said Mr. Holli-
day, lis that it takes fewer of them to
make platoon, and therefore the ex-
pense to the city is much less when a
certain superficial area of police officer
is called for. Then, again, two officers,
or three at the most, are quite sufficient
to block up one of our great thorough
fares and prevent the passage of any OF
the dangerous classn'
''And that, Rollo, " interrupted Jonas,
this time above his breath, ''is why the
dangerous class always takes to the
alleys; apoliceman can't crowd himself
into an alley, you know"
Mr.. Holiday suggested to Jonas that
he was engaged to dress the feet of his
employer, and not to volunteer any
alley-bvcs.
Mr.. Holhdav, it should be mentioned
INDUCED in paronomasiE only when if
was considered necessary to maxine.
himself understood by the meniaI
Glasses.
And, father" said RolIo with ami
nation. 1.-The reason whv 50 many
thieves and murderers and other GENTLE
men of THAI kind escane is hecauSe +bov
slip through the fat fincers of the fat
poiicemen.n
mo, Rollo," REPLIED Mr.. Holiday
'syou are wrong there. To saw that the
thieves. murdcrers ctaL. slim throuoh
the fat FINGERS of the fat policemen
argues that the fat policemen cet tbeiy
hands on the thieves murdereTs ri nj
aforesaid: which would he in the nature
of rcs7alctJ0 ad abs,lr9i7lu,. or. as wn saw
in the yuIrato. PROVING thinrs that ain +
so. No RoIlo. whoever told vou that
the fat policeman ever aets his hands
on thief or A murderer fand here
Mr.. Holiday looked hard at Jonael
.'was. | suspect. coddino vou-tbat ia
to say, trying to deceive yon.''
But, father" exclaimed Rollo. in
surprise. ,if the fat noEceman never
gets his hands on fine thief oy murdered
What is he GOOD for?n
GIVE it upr' was the irrelevant spr-
PeSulOn OF sJOll3S, VINO WAS Ann1TnntiV
becominp drunken every moment
.'Of much GOOD. Rollo," repljed Mr.
Holiday, not deigning to notice Jonas
remark. In the first place it takes
twice as much cloth to uniform him as
it would an ordinary person; conse-
quently manufacturers and dealers in
cloth are directly benefited and
through them the people generally are
made to prosper. 1t would be limos
sible to say how soon it would re-
suit, but there can be no kind of
doubt that were it not for the large de-
mand for cloth on account of the fat
policemen, the mills would be Obliged
to shut down, sooner or later, and The
dealers. of course, would be OBLIGED TO
shut up. Thousands of working peo-
pie would thus be thrown ont of EN-.
plovment. and nobody can tell Were
the evil would end. You see, RoIlo.
when YOU look into this question of fat
noIicemon Won uust diScuos IL ~ n