Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-12-25
BUYING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
By our "Fireside Philosopher.

bU1lNG CHklSIMAS PRESENTS.
By our Fireside " Philosopher.
CHRISTMAS is here!
Evidences of it are visible on all
sides, from the Christmas trees which
form phalanx around the corner
grocery to the gayly- rosetted and
tempting turkeys which the poultry
men exhibit.
And it being Christmas, my mas
tiers, custom has ordained that the
worlds greatest holiday shall be OBJ
served in one sense in the giving and
receipt of presents.
Tue Philosopher likes the custom.
Many a PERSONS life has been made
brighter by a Christmas gift, espec-
tally if it is not expected.
So the Philosopher makes, accord
ing to his modest means, as many as
he can: and he fatters himself that
he generally displays good taste in
their selection.
But he is wandering from his
sketch.
At present he is residing in a large
boarding house. With him also abide
Mr.. aud Mrs. McKimber who sit at
the same table with him.
Unluckily for him he happened to
mention one morning just before
Christmas his intention of sallying
forth and procuring his gifts.
''There is a friend of mine" he re-
marked, "who keeps what they used
to call a large Yankee notion store.
| get things almost at cost, aud that
is the reason l am goipg down there
to select an album for my sister,"
Mr.. McKimber, the Philosopher
thinks, must have touched his wlfes
foot beneath the table, for she looked
UP inquiringly.
Then ensued brief, marital panto-
mime which the Philosopher pre-
tended not to notice (but he took it in
just the same), and then Mr. McKim-
Der cleared his throat and sald
Your friend then deals in albums9"
Eyes" replied the Philosopher.
"How lucky" put in Mrs. McKim-
Der. 1--WE have made up our minds
to give an album to mother, and, of
course, if you get it at trade prices it
will be so much money in our pocket
and we would esteem it great favor"
As she spoke she smiled bewitch-
ing smile, and the Philosopher with
his usual gallantry toward the ladies
promptly responded that he would be
only too happy to oblige.
Il will get you any kind of an al
Dum you desire2" he said.
Mr.. McKimber, who is a sort of
msj estic individual, or thinks that he
is, which affords him the same salts
faction as if he was, bowed condesceno-
inglv.
1--WE will be ever so much obliged"
he said
The Philosopher mad no alternative
but to accept the errand.
He wendell his way later on to the
mart of his Yankee notion" friend.
Hello, Philosopherw cheerfully
greeted the proprietor. merry Christ
masp
Same to you"
What are you after2 I've got,
think, almost everything in the way
of holiday presents from marbles at
eight cents a dozen to a statue at
eighteen hundred dollars"
"Albumsl"
Then you have come to the right
place. Walk up and examine them.
ALI kinds and all varieties from one
for half dollar to one that will cost
you half a thousand dollars-but then
it has magnificent music box con-
cealea ir it and is ornamented with
chip diamonds.
The Philosopher felt that be could
not afford the aforementioned article,
and so he stated that as he did not in
tend TO present the album to any
reigning monarch he would like to see
something more appropriate for a
humble wielder of the pen.
'All right, suit yourself" and in
twinkling the Philosophers friend
had albums piled up in front of him in
heaps.
He selected nice one for himself
and then bought one for the McKim-
bers.
1t was bargain, and he had no
doubt but that they would be highly
pleased with it.
He wendell his way homeward.
He delivered the album to Mrs. Nc
kimber.
She undid IFS coverings.
She professed herself highly pleased
at his choice.
'Splendidi" she said. ''And how
much did it cost2"
At retail the album would have cost
them ten dollars.
The Philosopher got it for seven.
But he noted that her face frowned
when she heard the price.
She thanked: him profuseIy, how
ever, and departed.
a little later Norah, who is an old
servant of the Philosopher, and who
thinks herself as rule one of the fam
lily, 1t not superior to them, came into
the room with frewn.
The Philosopher noticed il.
What is amiss, Norah2" he asked.
ut is yerself that makes me mad !"
she replied, with her customary free
dom. ''Ye bought an album as a
favor. I behave, for them McKimbers9"
The Philosopher acknowledged that
he had.
I'VE wud not have done it." she
said with zeal for the family, ''if ye
had heard how they talked about it."
The Philosopher pricked up his
ears.
did pot they like it," asked he.
"Arrah, but that they didn't. the
mushrooms, bad cess to them!' she
answered in wrath. 81 heard them
talking whole they we're lukking at
it, and it was mad wild the ange they
are wild ye!"
Howl" he queried.
"Bekase they say it is a, what dor
they call it, 8 parodhy. think that is
the wurrua they said, and MIR. McKim-
Der said that he was willing to bet that
you had made four dollars out of the
seven.
That was the thanks the Philoso-
pher got for doing favor.
The McKimbers, since my purchase
of the album, seem to regard the Phil
esopher in the light of a swindler,
suppose, and although we speak as
we pass by, we de- it very coldly.
And worse than all, mercenary
reader, he has not received the price
of the album yet