davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-02-21
PuNGENT PARAoa APHs.

An old maid may toss erhead and
laugh at the idea of marriage, but in
that very laugh she goes He. he, he.'
When Jimpkins got married for the
fourth time, and his friends tcased him
about it, he said he couldn't help it, as
he'd Benedicted to it for some years.
Don't say man is unsuccessful.
simply because he never accomplished
anything. How do you know but that
is just what he is trying to DON r.
Herald
ELLA, my child" said prudish
old maid to a pretty niece, ''if the Lord
had intended your hair to cnrl He would
have done it Himself $50 He did,
auntie, when was baby, but he thinks
/ am big enough now to do it myself"
Golden Days.
In Petersburg, Va, a man charged
with murder was convicted of involun-
tary manslaughter and sentenced to one
minutes imprisonment and fine of $5.
This brings murder within the reach Of
the humblest citizen. LowcU Mass.
Courier.
I'm regular blamed fool, said q
husband to his wife when he had done
some foolish thing or other. as is usual
in all well-regulated families. 1T isn't
necessary to put up sign, my DEAR
she responded SO fervently that there
didn't seem to be any necessity for con-
tinuing the conversation. - Chicago
Times.
You did not dare speak to me ii
that manner before married you, sirr'
she Indignantly exclaimed. sNo, nor
you didn't dare come cavorting around
me in curl papers and rag-carpet
slippers before / married you, mam!''
he retorted. Then she cried and he
profanifed. Pittsburgh Chronicle Tele-
graph.
The teacher was trying to teach the
boy something about navigation. Now,
suppose your father should start to.
morrow morning to walk across the
river-could he do itp" mo, SIR"
"Of course not, said the teacher much
encouraged; land why notp" BE
cause" - Yes, go on; because"
Because he's in Jail, sir. - Yonkers
Statesman.
-Tommie's composition on pigs and
pig-pens: "A pig is an animil. 1t has
to eers, to lis. won tale, fore legs, and
hare. Pig-penz is not like steal penz,
but ar sheds where pigs is kept. We
hav won and too pigs, to. johnnie
Smith kane hear won da an teexed
them. Won went for hymn an knoked
hymn inn the durt. red in book tibet
the pen is miteier then the sord. Our
pig has sore on his eer where / hit
hymn. don't no ane more about pigs. ?
Golden Daus
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-02-21

Mrs. De Blank-"There now, John,
just read that, and may be you will
throw away that horrid cigar''
Mr.. De Blank-..Read whatP"
why, this In the paper A member
of the recent Woman's Congress says
it is nice thing for man to keep his
mouth fit to be Kissed. /"
''IIumph! That may all be; but it is
also nice thing for a woman TO keep
her mouth in the right position to be
kissed"
"Ihe right positionr''
.'Yss, shut =" Atls6elpkja Gan
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-02-21
Koch's Theory.

Mrs. Winks-What queer things Sta
tistics bring out. ! see that the e.
ures gathered by the Paris authoritier
show that nine-tenths OF the male VIC
Tins of cholera there were unmarried
men.
Mr.. Winks-I am not surprised.
That proves that Koch's theory Is cor
rect.
Indeed! What is his theorya''
THAT cholera germs are easily de-.
stroyed by boiling.n
Why. what has that 10 do With III
Immunity Of married men. prayp''
They ere generally kept IL hof
waesr, you know. Y ~ PAtiadelpais GU
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-02-21
oLD-FASHIONED SCHOOLS.

Instance of tho Schpoimaster's Tyranny.
The children of to-day do not know
half their happiness. Kind treatment
and gentle methods of instruction are
so much a matter of course, that the
days when teachers were regarded as
tyrants seem too remote to concern them
at all. Yet it is but one generation
since hundreds of unhappy scholars
were unable to separate the thought of
schoolmaster from the twin idea of
fagellation.
The autobiography of the late DIR.
Marion Sims recalls those times with
singular vividness. As little boy he
was cruelty bullied and abused by his
teachers, and his parents before him had
received the same sort Of treatment.
He gives an amusing account of an ac-
cident which led to the escape of bis
mother, Mahaley Mackey, from the
power of one such tyrant when she was
little girl.
The school which she attended was
held in log cabin, situated in the midst
of large tract of the pine woods OF
South Carolina. 1t was built of un-
peeled logs, whose rough bark and
uuIutTOtlS CTcSictS duOEltQ WtlCOulG>
shelter to many insects and other small
creatures. One day, as little Mahala
was sitting with her back to the teacher,
upon the long bench of pine planks that
extended across the room, green
lizard darted from the wall and ran
close beside her. Too much startled to
think what she was doing, she seized
the intruder by the tip Of its tail and
flung it over her shoulder with shrek
of terror. Then, turning around to
apologize for the noise she had made,
she was overcome with dismay to see
the teacher dancing about the platform,
shouting with pain, and vainly attempt
ing to knock away the lizard from the
end of his nose. whence it dangled, with
its teeth locked firmly in his nostril!
She stayed to see no more, but shot
out of the door bare-headed, and never
slackened her speed until safe within
the walls of her home. A wise precau-
ton, as it proved. The master was
never able to forgive her the undignitied
plight to which she had innocently
brought him; but as her father would
not send her back to be punished for an
accident. she was removed from school.
and her instructor was forced to let his
swollen nose go unavenged.
Such were schools even within the
memory of living persons.-N. Y.
Ledger.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-02-21

Tree culture on the plains is max
ing rapid progress under the wise en-.
enlargement by the Government. 1t is
not unusual now to see in naturally tree
less regions farmers and merchanics
homes surrounded by thriving groves
The cottonwood, the tree indigenous to
the water-courses of the West, is rein
forced by the Western catalpa, white
ash. white elm, black walnut, locust.
mulberry, silver maple, red cedar, and
the willow.-C Chicago Times.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-02-21
Reasons why Colonel Bonely Was Ac-
counted "Close."

Reasons why Colonel Bonely Was Ac-
counted "Close."
i don't mind a man being econom-
lcal," said Colonel Bonely, "but 1 do
despise to see stinginess. You all know
John Nutwing-feller that used to sell
soda water and grumbled when GUS
toner insisted in taking it with syrup.
Well, he was the stingiest man / ever
saw. Why, sir, he was SO stingy that
he used to let his meat spoil. Said he
couldn't afford to eat it while it was so
valuable. One day cart came along
with barrel of water. Just as it was
passing Johns gate, the thing broke
down. Well, sir, John went out, caught
half the water and poured it in his well.
Said that he couldn't afford to see any
thing wasted. o, yes, he was close. l
was with him when he died. He was
perfectly willing, though he dreaded
the expense of having grave dug.
Colonel said he, addressing me in
that anxious way that had become one
of his characteristics, cant you git
some of the boys and induce 'em to dig
the grave as q matter of accOmmoda-
tionp / did intend to be buried under
the pear tree, but the land is SO valua-
BILE l can't afford it, You don't seem
to be very sick, said 1. Perhaps you
may recover %, no, I'm gone he
replied. i took poison just before send
ing for you. decided that l could not
afford to live. It's too expensive. After
fellow dies, you know. and gets
settled down. the expense ceases. That
COMPOUNDED druggist cheated me. l had
to pay five cents for the poison. He
should have given me two doses for that
sum- He was SO stingy that he died
without struggle. Taking it all into
consideration, John was the closest man
l ever saw. "--Arkansdao Traveller.
The discoverer of the richest of the
Leadville silver mines sold his claim at
once for $40,0UO. and during the follow
ing year the two purchasers made ST.
100000 each from it. Meanwhile the
discoverer squaudered his $4,000 in
prospecting, and the otter day. : home
less tramp, applied for nights lodg-
ing At the Leadville station House,
OSioa0o Herald.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-02-21

Sir William Chere had very long
nose, and was PLAYING at backgammon
with old General Brown. During this
time, Sir William, who was snuff-taker,
was continually using his snuff-box.
Observing him leaning continually over
the table, and being at the same time in
a very bad humor with the game, the
General said. ''Sir William, blow your
nose!'' BLOW it yourself y said Sir
William, "'tis as near you as me r
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1885-02-21
A sTlNoY MAN.

admiral Porter's "Reminiscences.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
THREE YEARS IN THE PEN.
Joseph Raymond Learns What IL
Costs to Monkey With Another
MANS Horse and buggy.

The case of the people against Joseph
Raymond, indicted for grand larceny,
was tried to-day in the Third District
Court. The testimony in the case was
somewhat in excess of that heretofore
given by the DEMocRAT as shown by the
examination in the Police Court. MIR.
w. o. Sawyer, Samuel Bateman, George
Stringham and Milton Davis were heard
as witnesses in the case, which showed
the following facts. The defendant, Jo-
seph Raymond, is about 26 years of age,
and has been a resident of this city offand
on for the past six years. About one
year ago he made the acquaintance OF MIR.
w. o. Sawyer, who runs livery and
transfer business, at 10 West Second South
street, and engaged himself to Mr.. Saw
yer as general stableman. On the night
of the 9TH of last September, q young man
OF this city hired horse, single buggy and
harness ut Sawyer's to go down to the
State road club houses. The rig was
driven away from the stables between II
and o'clock on the night of the 9TH, and
was sent back about 4 O'Clock on the
morning of the Sth, with orders
for the rig to return for him that morn
ing. Young Raymond started out with
the horse and buggy and took in the town
by driving a stranger to the morning
train, then 70 Fishers brewery, during
all Of which time he managed to crawl
on the outside of large amount OF
mixed beverage, from the effects of
which Raymond stated he lost all con-
sciousness, and on recovering his
senses he found himself at the
ranch OF George Stringham, on
Bingham Creek, some twenty miles south
OF the city. He stayed at Stringham's
house from the night OF the Sth till the
18th Of September, when Policeman Bate
man was detailed to arrest him and re-
turn the outfit. On the information
received from Mr.. Stringham, Raymond
was brought back and lodged in Jail. The
rig was given over to Mr.. Sawyer at once.
Defendant testified to the above facts
as being true. The prosecution and Mr..
Darke for the defense made short argu.
ments to the jury, and after retiring fol
five minutes they brought in verdict Of
guilty of grand larceny as charged.
/ The Court imposed a sentence on Ray.
mond of three years in the penitentiary
and the young fellow was piloted away by
the Marshal.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
Some Queer Statistics.

A Chicago paper has obtained some
queer statistics from the restaurateur OF
the Exhibition building where Theodore
Thomas gave his concerts: "On Wagner
nights we sell five times the amount of
beer sold on any other nights, and the
number of pretzels and seed cakes con-
sumed is enormous. On Mendelssohn
nights there is a notable falling off in the
demand for ham sandwiches. / make u
profit OF IS per cent. on every ham sand
witch sell. This man Mendelssohn does
not strike me as being much OF mus-
clan anyway. Strauss is the best friend
| find in my business, for he creates Il
demand for wine. There's nothing like a
Strauss waltz to make man feel rich, and
to reconcile woman to the utmost limit
OF human vanity"
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
Not Mormons Who Sell the Whisky.

Ed. DEMOCRAT: The Tribune re-
porter in his issue OF Oct. 18th, makes
Indian Agent j. B. Kinny charge the
Mormons of Ashley Fork with selling
whisky to his Indians. The undersigned
resides at Ashley, and has resided
there for number of years, and he has
no knowledge of tile Mormons selling
whisky to Indians. On the contrary, he
knows that the Mormons living in Ashley
valley, as a community, are very much
opposed to the sale of whisky to Indians,
and in connection with the "Gentiles"
who reside there, also, have done every
thing in their power to prevent the wicked
traffic. The sale OF whisky to the Indians
at Ashley's Fork isliable to being trouble
to the people residing in the valley with
out moments warning, and whether
Mormons or "Gentiles" they would be
the biggest fools in the world to expose
their wives and children to drunken saw
ages. The Mormon people residing ut
Ashley Fork have done as much to pre-
vent the sale of whisky to Indians as the
agents residing on the Ute reservation.
Two men have been caught at Ashley,
within my knowledge, selling Indians
whisky, one was caught by Agent Critch-
low and the other by the citizens
OF Ashley; but neither was Mormon,
and neither was punished by the courts,
though the evidence was conclusive. If
Major Kinny will take the trouble to in
vcstigate the matter, he will find that the
poison whiskey to which he alludes is,
perhaps, in nine cases out OF ten, sold to
Ity, Il ~.
Mormons. 1t would be well for the com
munity at large if all such characters were
non est Respectfully,
q w Cunuo,t
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
MISUNDERSTANDING.
The Zig Mining suit-Its Principals
and ITS LAW ENpouuders.

As the heading of this indicates, Provo
and Tintic are closely connected now-a-
days. And in this little town, under the
shadow of the mighty Wasatch range, is
being tried a mining suit, which for the
sum involved throws the famous "Old
Telegraph; case in the shade. Yet they are
almost alike-this Eureka-Beck contest
and that of the No-You-Don't vs. Mon
treal. Poor Col. Kahn has passed away
since then, and Prof Holden still holds
forth with Prescott ON the Pldin-Dedler.
Holden, in that case, before Judge
shaefer, took the position that if he
owned the apex of the vein it was his to
follow into the depths, aye, even into
by all the courts.
Packard, in this case claims the apax
and-well.
But to sit in the Courtroom and see the
crowd-the old crowd, too. There is
Arthur Brown, the villain in the play,
since he allowed that hair to accumulate
on his chin, watching nervously every
point that can be picked from any crop
pings left exposed by Bennett, Hardness
or Sutherland. There are the maps, the
ore samples and the experts. 1t is fit
place now for student, and notice that
Nesbett, of Silver Reef, has his two boys
in the Courtroom to, as he expressed it
to me, "show them more of the world in
one day than they could possibly hear in
the school room in year"
The debate on Saturday, and up to the
hour Of adjourning court, was both inter
esting and important 1t was on the
validity of sale under writ of fore
closure. The court had issued the writ
the officers made u blunder-who blund-
cred, the court or the officers?
Attorney Dixon had not got through
when the court adjourned, and the ques-
ton will be resumed this morning.
There was Bill Mcqueen. Would Mr.
him, but when you do that Mcqueen
loses his identity. Prof. Mathews is
| there, calm as the statue of Silence.
Fred Meyers looks upon that 24-foot map
as though he were hunting lost steer or
stray schooner OF sherry that had
drifted ashore from his far-off home on
Antelope Island. Captain Day, the rock
of ages Reyes, the prince of sages Mes
bith says the rage is truth and truth
alone. Sampson Clayton and Lem Col
bath said 'twould be tough old cold
bath if l were to give the thing to Stone.
Yet rocks are what they're after, and no
matter what the Laughter, the District
Court and Power will settle it alone
If the vein goes only one way, let us
hunt up old man Conway and he will set
us right. Ii not, in this confusion, by
following the illusion, we may call upon
a jury, and ii he can't, they might.
MoNoToNY.
Provo, Oct. II, 'S5.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
WOman's Condition,

The woman question being prominent
one just now the following written by an
eminent lady may be OF interest: So
long us house keeping remains in its
present chaotic condition; SO long as
servant-galism is the topic of CONVERSE
ton; so long as the woman who tolls is
considered inferior to the woman who
dresses and does nothing; so long us two
codes of morals are tolerated, one dam
ming the woman and the other uphold
ing the man SO long as emotion is cult
waited at the expense OF reason, women
will, as rule, be radically inferior to
men. No pure, noble womanhood can
come from the present order OF society.
There can be no grand men without
mothers. Therefore, this republic had
better look to its women. Beauty and
style and veneered accomplishments do
not make woman.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
The New Crescent Directory.

Pursuant to adjournment last evening,
the Crescent stockholders met at McCor-
hicks bank this morning and repaired at
once to the Continental Hotel ordinary.
At 10 o'clock the purposes of the meeting
were entered into by reading the reports
of the President, Secretary and other
officials OF the company. With little
or no difficulty the several statements
were adopted as read, and the election of
Board of Directors for the ensuing
year was begun, and consummated in
the choice of the following well-known and
stirring business men: J r.. Nichols, E.P.
Ferry, J. A. Groesbeck, @. II. Whitney,
j. W. Barnett, II. J. HOLSTER, c. T..
Olney, w. II. Shelby, and L. II. Whitney
Each member OF the board is heavy
stakeholder in the large property, and as
interested parties it is TO be presumed
that the Crescent will be pushed to the
front, where it rightly belongs, as great
mine.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
PERSONAL.

@. @. Goodwin, of Cache Valley, is in the
city.
Major II. Hill returned from Frisco last
evening.
Mr.. j. Beatty, jr., is among the recent ar
rivals at the Continental.
w. A. Jackson, the well-known CONNER
cial traveller, is at the Continental.
Apostle Moses Thatcher was on the in
coming train from the north last evening.
Photographer @. II. Savage went north
last evening to sketch the beauties of nature.
Major E. Wilkes went north last evening
in the interests of the New Orleans Expo
sition.
Ferdinand Dickert continues to ship car
loads of sulphur to all points in the United
States.
Mr.. G. M. Ottinger, superintendent of the
city water works, will depart for the East
in few days on a business trip.
Mr.. @. M. Bell, the gentlemanly CONNER
cial drummer, is among the merchants of
Salt Lake with new and complete line of
samples.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
BE BOtIl-Hau,led.

Now why not teach children to be both
handed? They naturallyuse both hands
with equal ease, and why should they not
be trained to use both with equal facility :?
1t is cruel to tic upa child's left hand
when he attempts to use it-unlcss he
uses 1t to the exclusion Of his right hand
since it practically mains him for life.
Constant use OF the right hand makes
the right side OF the body larger and
stronger than the left, which is in itself a
reason Tor not doing So Let children
have the free use OF both hands and en-
courage them in it.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
Freddie Fowler Has Got Lost,

A week ago last Friday ten-year old
boy, named Freddie Fowler, unaccount-
ably disappeared from his home in the
Nineteenth ward. Through expectations
from day to day of his returning, nothing
was said through the papers by his
anxious relatives. A small boy
answering his description was heard
of being in Bountiful last week,
but more recent inquiry places the
same little wanderer ut Mill Creek.
Should this article reach anyone know
ing OF the child's whereabouts, great
favor will be conferred upon his dis
tracted family by making it known at 80
h. Fifth South street, Salt Lake City.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
Fine BlOOded Stock,

Mr.. Daniel Davidson, pioneer stock
man OF Utah, and resident of Salt Lake
City, has imported two fine mares by
Sunk Island Hero for Mr.. L. A. Scott
Elliott, also couple of blooded stations
for himself. One OF these stations is of
the finest breed, standing over sixteen
hands high with :43 record. Horse
men have pronounced him rs near Il per-
feet breeder as any horse introduced here.
Mr.. Davidson also received car load of
Durham cattle and some fine Lincoln
ewes and rams from the near neighbor-
hood of London, Canada, which have
attracted considerable attention.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
Young Men. Beware.

The following is the platform of new
society for young ladies now organized in
the east, and upon it they propose to stand
as long as the matrimonial campaign
lasts. No branch of the society has vel
struck Salt Lake, but there is no harm in
warning the young men,
The man who takes the red, red wine,
Can never glue his lips to mine.
The man who chews the navy plug,
Will in our parlor get no hug
Who smokes or drinks or cuts deck,
Shall never, never bite my neck.
Don't you monkey with the cards,
Or we can never more be pards.
The man who guzzles lager beer,
Can never, never chew my ear.
Drink nothing stronger than red pop,
Or in your lap I'll never flop.
If aught but water you e'er taste,
Just keep your arm from off my waist
If you drink wine or other slop,
You can never hear my corset pop.
The man who smokes the cigarette,
Can never squeeze me, you can bet.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14
KILLED In THE OAK BRUSH.
A sappete Hunter Mistakes His
Ccmrade for n Deer, and shoots
with Fatal Effect.
Specinl TO DEMOCRAT. |

Special to DEMooRAT.l
MORON, Utah, October 14.-An acci-
dent occurred on the west mountains,
eight miles from Moroni, yesterday,
which resulted in the death of Soren
Christensen, aged 81. Soren Christen-
son, Martin Adolphus Taylor and Amos
Bradley were hunting they gotseparated ;
Taylor heard rumbling in the oak
brush, which was very thick, which he
thought was deer, so he fired. He
went to look for the deer, and to his
horror found Christensen lying dead, the
ball going in close by his left ear and
coming out OF his forehead.
At the coroner's inquest held last night
over the body, the verdict was accidental
death.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-10-14

The undersigned, Commissioner for
Utah to the North, South and Central
American Exposition, to open at New
Orleans ON the 10Th day of November
next, being DESTROYS OF exhibiting sam
pies OF
!. Agriculture.
III. Horticulture.
III. Raw and manufactured products
Ores, Minerals and Woods.
~. Furniture, and accessories.
V. Textile Fabrics, Clothing and ac-
cessories.
VI. The Industrial Arts.
VII. Alimentary Products.
VII. Education and Instruction.
IL. Works Of Art, etc.
And being DESTROYS of displaying an ex-
hibit not to be excelled by any Territory
IN the Union, invite the citizens Of Utah
to forward samples OF above products al
us early day as possible by express or
otherwise, to the undersigned, not later
That the 10Th inst, and advise me Of the
shipment. II. Il. CoNNoR
Commissioner for Utah.
SALT LAKE Cry, October 5, 1885.