The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1885-09-11
sccllanenns.
That Stout Party.

Aunt had left me good deal of property,
and it was while on journey from Liver.
pool to New York 10 look after the same that
fell in with the stout party.
Her name was Crumbe-Sararann CrumDe
an odd sort of name, it seemed for a young
woman of her size; for she wasa stout party,
and no mistake, and, queer enough, if she
didn't seem to get stouter every day. watch
ed her so close it seemed l could see 'er n
| swellin' wisibly before my very eyes. But |
was gettin' deeper an deeper under that ere
| spell rs makes fools of us all some time or
| other. | even begun to write n poem to her,
| so you may know as was pretty desperate.
| I'd written adyertisin' rhymes about our soap,
| you know, but found love verses quite diff.
ferent, and baked after the fust two lines
my heart is yours, oh, Sararann Crumbe!
| long to speak, but love strikes me dumb"
| That was, in my opinion VERY neat as fur
| as it went, but it didn't go fur enough. But
at last she seemed more friendly like, and |
| told her about Aunt Berlinder and the fort
| in and the soap business.
1--WE quite snug little shop of my own"
| SEE she, "only Pm VERY lonely"
Then she give me one of them meltin'
| looks with her eyes that seemed to make a
| fellows heart jest simmer down into ielly
| like.
But pucked up my courage to say, "Its
yer own fault, num- if you're alone A charm
| in young woman like you must ave ed
loads of chances for gettin' companion"
"Oh, I'm afeard you're tiattcrin', Mr..
| Stokes" she says, smiling up at me, so as |
couldn't help stealth my arm around her
waist-wel, it don't go 'alf round, you know
and sayin', "Well, ifyou never 'ad chance
before, what do you say to takin' me for bet
ter or wuss Pm sure you won't find it
| wuss."
She didn't move away from my arm bit.
She just looked at me with them black eyes,
and says she, ooh, Handrewl I'm heyer
thine" And then-it was pretty dark so I
took her in my arms-that is, as much as |
could of her-and stole kiss for to seal the
engagement.
After that you know, the days slipped
away like magic She was woner to talk
she was {; she had, in fact, the gift of the CAB
VERY gallopn'. But she seemed rather shy
about permittin' any embraces or atiectionate
squeezes. ~ don't want to make a spectacle
of myself" SEE she. "Idont care if we make
a pair of spectacles," seq and then | won
dered if it were her uncommon corpuleuce
as made her awerse to squeezes, as them stout
parties has difficulties in getting their breath
at the best of times, and thought after we
VAS married I'd try and coax her into takin'
ant-tat, or some of them advertised things rs
say they have given folks view oftheir own
shoe-strings as admit ad the pleasure of con-
tempatin' EN- for twenty years. So 'ad to
be contented with squeezin' of her 'and,
which, queer enough, was slim, and long, and
quite thin.
Eyer and don't never seem to belong to
yer Sararann," seq |, one day.
mo, it belongs to you," she SEE, with
quick look and smile.
| az know IL NV love but 7 mann, ;,,o ~,
like the rest of you; it's thin, but you're as
plump as-a-a angel !"
"Im not always fat" she sez
"Oh amt your" SEE !, with little fecln'
of relief, must confess, COS she was leetle
too much so, and didn't want wife as
Barnum would be covetin for his show.
NO. it's the sea voyage as does it," she
says, quite bewitchin' perhaps you won't
love me as much when get thin"
"Oh, Pm yours through thick and thn" l
makes answer "There's no changn' in
Andrew Stokes, my dear"
noticed, however, that Sararann was not
altogether easy in her mind. | began to be
afraid as there was another Teller in the back
ground or somethin', and pressed her to
name the day. But she was VERY firm on
that point.
You must wait till we're on land" she
says. II feel that nervous while Pm on the
water can't settle nothin' Wait till we're
safe on land"
So l waited. 1t was hot day enough
when we hove in sight, and really pitied
poor Sararann, she felt it 80, with so much
flesh on 'er. She was that flusered couldn't
keep up with her, and actilly, she scarcely
waited for the plank to be put down before
she stepped ashore. was hurryin' after her.
when | saw her stopped by two strappn' fel,
I m tba,y
know jealousy was like wulture tearin at
my witals l saw her throw up her lands,
and then seemed to ear her cry "Handrew |"
But before l got near 'er she 'ad disappeared
as if the earth 'ad opened an swallowed 'er
up.
You can fancy the fceln's of fellow as
sees is sweetheart swollered before his VERY
eyes. tore around here and there, and ask
ed questions of everybody in wild way.
At last a Custom 'Ouse officer stopped and
eyed me moment
"a stout party?" SEE he.
"Oh, yes, a stout lady," l answered, pant.
in.
"Perhaps you're her pardner ?" SEE he.
II don't mind confessin' I'm gon' to be-"
seq |, givin' him wink.
"Oh, come now, none fthat," SEE he, quite
stern. Were incorruptible, as you'll find
An if you're going to be her pardner, ives
word to say to you. Just come in here
An if the fellow didn't take me by the arm
as if was prisoner, an he walked me into
an inside office. admit more than got in
when see another Custom 'Ouse fellow COM
in out an behind i'm came u long, lanky
beanpole of a female, with 'er clothes 'angin'
like bags on 'er arms. But, the dress Surely,
| knew that garnet merlno with the yellow
, trimmings, and that at with the yellow
feather, an the lace shawl!-I felt as i'll 'ad
got among magic An when l saw
Sararann's own face at the top of this lanky
picutre, SEE to the officer, Punch me, or
stitch pin in me- for l believe I'm crazy or
drunk. Who is this woman ?"
why, you said you was 'er partner" says
he, with grin. She's smuggler-a first
class one She's an old stager, she is, an
; they're taking her off to prison, an you bein'
| 'er pardner 'as got to be searched likewise"
At that moment the ngelooking ic-
male caught sight of me.