davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
The Big Bank NOT. worried Him.


Talking about finding money, . said Ole
Sport, would you believe me If I told You
found 81, 600 one time +? It was in Wash
ington. The occasion was the Inauguration
of Grant and there was 100000 people in
the streets. saw small green thing ~
ing on the pavement, and something
prompted me to pick it up. Ordinarily l
wouldn't.stop to pick up things ON the
street, but this time thought I'd chance
it. After picking the green thing up l
thought it was patent medicine advertise
ment, and was on the point of throwing it
away, but I wasn't very busy just then, SO
unrolled it, and when saw it was 81 900
bill was scared to death. l was dealing
bank then, and didn't know what to dc
with the find, because / couldn't fake uL
any excuse for the possession of so much oil
the filthy. The main guy would swear that
was holding out on him, and there would
be the devil to pay, and you can bet it
would take the whole of the thousand to
pay him. SO l took the bill to my boarding
house, and stuck it between the covering of
my trunk and the outside. looked at the
papers for several days, but couldn't see any
advertisement for q lost 81 600 bill didn't
dare get it changed in Washington, because
It would soon be noised asound that / had
big roll, and the snap would be given
away. Each day would reconnoiter around
the old trunk to see If the bill was safe, and
I'd change her from place to place. The
fact that the loss was rot advertised led Inc
to suspect that the blooming bill might be
counterfeit, and / was in terrible stew
But held on to 1t. One day went over
to New York and took the bill with me. At
last screwed up my courage to slap the
bill down on the counter of bank and
ask to have it changed. The dealer, or
rather cashier, grabbed it up and squinted
all over both sides of it, and imagined
everybody in the world was looking at me.
Mind you, this was three months after had
found the bill. After cycling the bill for a
few seconds the cashier laid it aside, and l
didn't know whether he was going to set
the dog on me or what but he clinched on
to a fist full of fifty dollar bills and counted
out twenty of them, which he handed to
me. So that was all right. Well, felt
pretty gay, and l went down to Sandy Hook,
and from there to Long Branch, then back
to New York, over to Philadelphia, and
once more to Washington. That night /
played faro and got broke. ~ Gnanaaa
Enquirer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
The Unemployed.

During the period OF depression that now
seems to be past good deal has been said
about the large number of persons out of
work in New York. 1t is quite true TINT the
army of the unemployed has been pretty
full and even now there are thousands
looking for work and unable to find it. But
the same thing would be true, to consid.
srabie extent, even in good times. The
:hief trouble is that 80 many Of the unem-
ployed cannot do the work that employers
want to have done. Even among those who
have trades there is considerable number
who are idle simply because they are care
less and inferior as workmen or unsteady in
hess tt,ifRA 4 4 safe te
say that ninety per cent. Of the steady and
competent skilled workmen in New York
have had regular employment right along
through the dull period, at good wages.
too. Then, as to the many thousands OF
men who have no trade at oil, very large
proportion fail to get work simply because
they are incapable of doing any kind Of
work in a satisfactory way. Nearly all EN-.
ployers want men who know how to do GER
tain things, and many of these men do not
know how TO do anything right. They are
shiftless and often very dull. and in many
cases very unsteady besides. One great cause
of the army of unemployed being so large is
the difficulty of fitting square pegs into round
holes. or course 1t is very unfortunate for
the square pegs, but that does not change
the case in any way. The theory of the sur
vival Of the fittest certainly has good deal
10 do with success in the labor market. The
Iteady energetic men, qualified for their
work, are sure to have the best Of II.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
SEIZED COUNTERFEIT MONEY.
The Manner In Which IL Is Collected 10 be
Destroyed.

What becomes of the counterfeit money
that is surrendered or seized from counter
letters" was the question put to Chief
| Drummond of the Treasury Secret Service
The question was prompted by the story Of
the two errand boys. Johnny Sharratis and
Harry Kelly of West New Brighton, Staten
Island, one of whom was tempted few
days ago to steal $5l5 of counterfeit nation.
al bank notes which he saw lying in desk
drawer of his employer, United States
Commissioner, and supposed was good, and
which he and his companion subsequently,
passed on tradesmen in this city and at
! Coney Island.
Chief Drummond said that il was unusual
for any one to have possession of counter
felt money in large or small sums except
counterfeiters and the lawful United Stntes
custodians. Tradesmen and others might
have possession of one or two bills or coins,
which had been passed ON them, and which
they retained MS curiosities, but If they
kept collection of spurious money in their
drawer their motives would be apt to be
mlstrusted. The law and the Treasury
regulations are very strict about the possess
sion of counterfeit money when the posses
sor knows it 10 be such. When curiosity
collectors keep the money in scrap books
or in other ways they are liable to arrest on
the charge of having counterfeit money in
their possession. So stringent is the law
that even mutations of Uncle Sans notes or
coins for the purposes of advertising are
forbidden.
The secret service officers collect once
month all the counterfeit money from the
United States officials who have temporary
charge OF it as evidence. The money is
locked up in safe, and every six months,
il no longer needed as evidence against
counterfeiters, Is forwarded, along with
what is seized in bulk, to Custodian Rock
of the Treasury Department for destruction.
The money is inyentoried and described,
and receipts are kept of all that is surren-
dered. The bills are macerated and the
coin is melted down in the Treasury mill at
Washington.
The secret service wns not aware of the
existence of the $515 in the Office of the
United States Commissioner who was rob-
bed or it would have confscated it. In the
past eight years the officers have sent about
$500, 600 counterfeit money of all descrip-
ions to Washington. The biggest amount
was captured in the Brockway case.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
THE AVERAGE Girl.
How She Has Advanced Above Her Sister
0f the Past.

Our school houses, seminaries, liberty,
aome and socinl customs are producing
better class of the beautiful creatures called
girls than former days have known.
The great statesman or philosopher is no
more a result OF his age than is the girl n
resultant of the many causes which may
surround her formative mind. II was once
of little moment what became OF woroan in
her childhood or maturity. 1t was assumed
that Natures laws were busy in the manu-
facture of such valuable mortas ms suites
men, artists. kings, doctors and gentlemen,
and that woman, in her different phases of
life, WINS made in the beginning and little
cared for afterward. As the Jews had Je-
hoyah all to themselves, and handed all the
heather tribes over TO the caprice OF the
devil, so man as n masculine being employ
ed the full force of nature and permitted
woman to subsist upon the crumbs which
might happen to fall from Dame Natures
table. Woman came down to our age more
than half starved
1t is now confessed that causes affect all
things and that sparrow lives under the
laws OF the universe just rs truly q, that
Dante or Webster is the expression of his
period. The girl Of to-day is therefore n
new form of human nature because new in.
duences cannot but bring abont new shapes
Of character. The girl who is enjoying tc'
the full the liberty of education and best
form Of American social and home life is
really an object to be admired. Her yivaci-
ty, her industry, her taste, her kindness are
such MS TO compel the notice and admirn-
ton of an anchorite. The liberty and
equality which are the cardinal ideas of the
country have helped the modern girl away
from servitude just as truly as they have
helped the slaves to escape the old yoke
which they and their fathers had worn fol-
centuries. The daughter of fifteen cal
converse with her father ard mother and
mature friends Fear has departed without
taking away modesty and without bringing
in a reign Of egotism and disrespect. Ter
rorisui was always blenish in society,
whether IL existed between man and SER
want, husband and wife or parent and child
Force is the law of brutes and hence ter
rorism belonged to the brute kingdom and
came into mans world in times when the
wall was not high between the animal and
the human.
The educated girl Of to-day overflow
with affection toward her parents. sharr
words, fearful reprimands, are unusual
The child 30 fully desires to do what the
parent wishes should be done that the home
life is constant flow of companionship and
affection rather than the eternal reign Of au
thority.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14

LONGEVITY.
Some Remarkable Gases of Old Age.
Refutation of Philosophical Idens.


The distinguished Galen, the versatile and
accomplished medical writer of the second
century, died at the reputed age of 140
years; but this is disputed, and the time
fixed at eighty years. Abraham Bogart died
in Tennessee at the age of lis Years, and
Francis Age of Pennsylvania Significantly
served out six score and fourteen years.
Stephen Goodale died not long ago in York
Poorhonse at 11S. Joseph Crele died ct
Caledonia IN january, 1865, aged lao, and
about the same time Antonne Sauve died
in France at 1870; his father tonight MARI
borough May 8, 1706.
Longevity does not depend on health, ms
many can certify who have themselves at
tanned any considerable age The stoutest
and most muscular representatives of the
race die early. Lewis Carnaro was inform
ed by his doctors at thirty-fye that he could
not last two years, and yet he went through
sixty-fve more ere he fitted this mundane
sphere. Galen had no constitution. and
shook like reed in the wind. Despite
these cases, abstemiousness, physical evcr-
else and virtuous conduct do continue to
swell the number of our years; there are
exceptions TO all rules.
Sir Thomas Browns believed that some
persons had an aptitude for long dun'io1.
There can be no doubt that disposition to
live will prolong the tenure. That longevity
is mn inheritance descending from ancestry
is well-establshed fact that il originally
f. IL 4
said and that it can be cultivated and &C
quired is attested by history and experience
Our sweetest poet, William Cullen Bryant,
when asked how he accounted for his yigor,
then over eighty years of age, replied: q 1t
is all summed up in one word modera-
ton" Frugal living, abstinence from oil
that Injuries, denial of stimulants that pro-
woke unnatural heart throbs and waste VII
tality, are the secrets OF long life. Swift
thought men Of heail-and- heart worry died
young yet Wordsworth, who agreed with
him, saw eighty summers and the poet
Rogers, who had no sunshine In his soul.
dwelt through the shadows of ninety-two
years. Mental toll does not diminish, per-
haps extends, probation. Lord Broughtm,
extremely laborious, wrought eighty mine
years; Lord Lyndhurst, ninety-one, and
Epimenides, of the seven wise men, 15i it
is related. But the number of brain work
ers who passed three and four score is too
large for mention in this space.
Fontenelle outliyed century, and when
asked as he was dying if he felt pain, said ;
81 only feel the difficulty of existing
Singularly, an exactly similar sentiment
was uttered by the dying Garfield.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14

BY eating fast the stomach, like bottle
being filled through funnel, is full and
overlooking before we know 1t. But the
most important reason is the food is swaL
lowed before time has been allowed to di-
vide it in sufficiently small pieces with the
teeth for, like ice in tumbler of water,
the smaller the bits are, the sooner they are
dissolved. II has been seen with the naked
aye, that IL solid food is cut up in pieces
small rs half pea it digests almost as
soon, without being chewed at all, as If il
had been well masticated. The best plan,
therefore, is for all persons to thus COM
minute their food for even II it is well
chewed the communion is no injury,
while il is Of very great importance in case
Of hurry, forgetfulness or bad teeth. Cheer
full conversation prevents rapid eating -
Journal Of Health.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14

What science the art of advertising hos
become, and how many millionaires owe
their wealth to the judicious use OF printers
ink and space in the columns Of influential
daily papersl Bonner of the New York
Ledger piled up his fortune by the increase
in circulation obtained by publishing the
opening chapter Of every new story in pa
pers all over the country, closing at IN In
teresting crisis, with the information that
the rest could only be read in the columns
OF the New York Ledger. The cutest thing
in the way Of railroad advertisement was
engineered by Capt. May Of the Pennsyl-
vania Railroad When Jules verne's story
Of Around the World in Eighty Days was
|. published in France, Philadelphia paper
had 1t translated and printed the story in
instruments. In the portion where the
author describes his railroad trip from San
Francisco to New York Capt. May had in
serted an original chapter specially devoted
to praise Of the cars and track Of the Penn
sylvania Railroad, and highly compliment
ing the " undersigned" as he was accus-
toned to say when speaking of himself, for
sccelerating the progress of the party to-
ward New York. ---Baltimors American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
AMERICAN CATTLE.
Miscellaneous Uses Of TheIr Hides and
Meat.

Gomara records the divers uses made of
plains. He tells hosf " of their hides they
make many things, as houses, shoes, APP
parel and ropes; of their bones they make
bodkins of their sinews and haire thread;
of their dung, fire; and of their calves
skinnes, buckets, wherein they drawe and
keepe water. To be short, they make so
many things of them as they have need of,
or rs many as suffice them in the use Of this
life" In truth, the buffalo not only sup
piled an unfailing store of food, but fur.
nished the Indians with shelter and CLOTH
ing, the coarse skins of the bulls furnishing
coverings for the lodges, while the finer
skins of the cows were converted into wool
ly robes aud bedding. Spoons and ladies
were mde from the horns and bones
bands, belts and sacks were woven of the
stiff buffalo hair, and the braves made shields
and bucklers of tough buffalo hide.
The meat when taken to camp was cut
into long strips, nbont o quarter of an inch
thick, and hung up TO dry on o wooden lat
tice, and after few days the strips were
tied together in large bundles and so stored.
Or else it was prepared in the manner call
ed pemican (pin,ikehigan), 1. e., subjected
70 great heat until it became brittle, when il
was spread ON buffalo hide and reduced to
fragments by the use of a fail.
On to this broken meat was poured melt
ed fat, and the whole we'll pounded togeth-
err and then, while still warm, WAS pressed
into bags of buffalo skin, which were then
sewn up and, as the compound cooled, il
became hard rs rock, and was thus stored
for future use. The superhuous fat was
run down as tallow "a healthy COW yielding
thirty-five pounds, ind bull in good con-
dition about forty-fve), while the bones
were boiled and broken; and the marrow
thus obtained was stored in bladders for
cooking purposes.
Among the really valuable products of
the bison it is necessary TO mention that
which Is commonly known as buffalo
chips" or, rs the French settlers coll it,
bois de cache which simply means dried
dung--a priceless boon to all dwellers OF
travellers,,....on the great treeless prairies,
where no other fuel can be obtained, and
where tho very existence OF the camp fire
and all the creature comforts connected
Herewith are wholly dependent on this sup
ply--the only substitute for wood. Gentle
mans Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
HE WANTED TO BE A COWBOY.
Checking "a Ten-Year-Old Boys Ambition.
Starting TO SEQ the World.
"say, gimme q room. win We q

Say, gimme room, will We 2"
A childish voice piped out these words at
the West End Hotel, No. 259 Eighth avenue,
late on Tuesday night.
The hotel clerk stopped writing, arrang-
ed his diamond pin and turned to reply.
He saw nobody in front of the desk and re-
sumed his writing.
Say, am you deaf ?" camo in the. same
piping voice.
The clerk got down from his perch and
leaned over the counter. His gaze feel Oh
little boy about ten years of age.
ave don't want any matches, bub, " said
the clerk
Who's selling matches l want room,
I do" and the interesting Juvenile reached
up and took toothpick.
Have you got any money! demanded
the clerk.
g In course has. I've got two dollars
/ want room for tonight. I'm goin' away
tomorrow.
Where are you going?"
'Pm going to Texas to be a cowboy
hiH. dust que On me, VIII yer
The clerk promptly sent for a policeman
and the boy wns arrested. He gave his
name as Luceris Stevens, ten year old, OF
Wanaque, N. j,
Pm getting tired of country life," said
the youngster to the officer, land l want
to see the world. Have cigarette ~
The officer declined the prefer and asked
the boy for his pedigree.
Well" said the interesting juvenile,
" my mother is dead and the old man-
well, he's skipped somewhere. I've lived
down Mt Wanaque for two years with aunt,
Mrs. Van Houten. I'm goin' to Texas to
be a cowboy
The ambitious lad is now in the custody
of kindly Matron Webb ut police headquar-
tiers. His desire to be q cowboy hns been
rudely checked and he will be allowed to
roam the fields OF New Jersey just as soon
as his aunt comes for him. She has prom
ised to take him away to-morrow.-N. Y.
Morning Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
p,au,. Wan. Bag. or Grass.

They tell a good story on south Geor-
gia statesman who went 10 Charleston in
the old days and stopped OF hotel. A
waiter brought some shrimps, which the
Georgian slowed away as best he could. In
amoment the waiter reappeared with stand
of celery. No." said the Georgian, shaking
his head, solemnly, I" have tried your bugs
and don't like them, and you can bet yer
life don't want none er your grass."--At-
aatG Coastitution.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
fers New York 10 be sick in

The New York doctors charge great
Zeal more than do Tie Texas doctors. Col.
sumpter Mcbride sumpter, of Austin, who
was quite i'll during his recent visit to New
York, is our authority for the assertion. He
was in bed three or four days Mt bis hotel,
and whenthe bill was presented he took q
piece of paper and pencil and figured out
how much more he had TO pay in New York
than he would have had to pay in Texas
Tor the same amount of indisposition. Hav-
ing got through his calculation, he folded
his hands resignedly and said ~ am lucky
in being sick here in New York instead Of
being laid up in Texas" Ah.' said the
doctor. Yes," responded sumpter, " for
all this money I'll have to pay you, I'd have
had to be sick in Texas for more than two
months. '-1sras Strings.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
lie Though, i, wn. chenp.

Did you say this patent medicine was Q
dollar bottle ?' Eyes, SIR" " But sec
what little bottle IL is. The contents
couldn't have cost more than two cents. y
" That's so-but just look ut that splendid
label. You don't want to get nice bottle,
sure cure Tor rheumatism, sore throat, dys-
pepsia, burns, scalds, heayes and corns,
with work of art thrown in, for less than
dollar, do you ?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14

Assah, very small town on bay at the
southern extremity of the Red Sea, is said
70 be the hottest place in the world. Alden,
100 miles further east, has q terrible reputa.
lion for heat, but Assab is said to be hotter
by some three degrees. For four consecu-
live months thermometer readings OF 0 A.
M. have averaged over 80 degrees, and dur
ing the whole time rarely fell below S8 de
grees.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
Tho wL:te.rIonse Mail.

The Presidents mail averages in To,
neighburhood Of 3c0 per day for the entire
year. tome are addressed to " The Presi.
dent bit majority have the name Grover
Cleveland besides numerous titles During
the month Of August there have been less
than fifty letters day received addressed
to the White House. The people watch the
President'8 movements closely. When he
goes away for any length Of time they LEI
him alone. When it is stated he is about to
ieturn the mail comes pouring in again
Wdstnqtoa CaDital.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
POETRY.


ttcnrncG 4*8Fdoaer.
What is It ails my little tree7
IL grew so green, and stretched so far
Its waving arms .--Dut, iooE and see
Its leaves now curl lfnheaithny"
The gardener locked; 9 It is, 2 said he,
g Henlipfera honepterd."
"Ah, yes % cried, IN haste to speak;
81 see, The boughs al covered are
With tiny antst Can things so weak
And small such direful mischief wreak ?"
1.-THE ants, he said, but come to seek
"HemipteIa hoploptera."
"You speak in mystic phrase I" cried,
Then show me where the spoilers arei"
"a In the CURED leaves they safely hide:
And on the stems there, side by side,
So small they scarcely need TO hide
.He0atptera hoBaopteia."
III you would save your little tree,
Some strong soap-suds or gas OF tar"-
Aha, that g Engllshl II shall be
Forthcoming said 1 then we III see
What havoc we can make with the
Heniipterd hoinopte7a"
=" Jdck-i,a-the Ptapt,n st Stchoias
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
The na.hful q sorrInn,. I,u.e.

A bashful young Georgian, who was afraid
to propose to his sweetheart, induced her to
fire at him with pistol, which he assured
her was only loaded with powder. and after
she had done 80 fell down and pretended to
be dead. She threw herself upon the body,
calling him her darling and her beloved,
whereupon he got up and married her.
Indianapolis Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14
A Worn Coin.

A savings bank in Portland, Or, has a
twenty-dollar piece which was taken from
the stomach of slaughtered COW, and found
to be worth $16.25. The milling is worn
Of the edge, which is smooth and rounded,
but the designs upon the sides iemain visi-
BILE. The date of the coin is 1870, but how
long the COW had been digesting the 1915
no one can tell
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14

Don't forget Louden's Shoes. He
will sell you hand or machine made Of his
own work. Cor. Main and Coryell streets,
Lambertville. Jy is.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-10-14

Tor never saw it. Truth to tell, he was not
as particular cbout Investigating corners
with his feather duster as some of the ladies
would have liked him to be. Besides, the
ehurch was dark, and it was very busy
day, and he had to brush his jacket and
put on he clean collar before the company