The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-01-28
CHAPTER ".
NOT FOR LOVE OR MARRIAGE.

love than ever. l am now satisfied as
to the thoroughness of my passion; Ger
tain that this thorough love of mine
will endure as long as my life; that it is
no transient flush to fade away with
time or absence. Whether my suit be
successful or not this woman Will be
my first and last love.
As yet have made little progress in
the furthering of my desire. | see her
every day, because watch for her com
ing and going; and every time see her
| find fresh charms in her face and
graces in her figure. Yet Kenyon was
right. Hers is a peculiar style Of beauty.
That pale, pure face, those dark dreamy,
far-away eyes, are out of the common
run of womanhood. 1t may be this &c
counts for the strange fascination ne
has for me. Her carriage is upright a.ad
graceful; she walks always at the same
pace; her face is always grave, and it
seems TO me she seldom speaks to tn at
old companion or servant who new er
quits her side. am beginning to look
upon her as riddle, and wonder if the
key will ever be mine.
have found out some few thin gs
about her. Her name is Pauline--a
sweet and suitable name-Paulnle
March. She is therefore English, al
though l sometimes hear her saying a
few words in Italian to old Teresa, her
servant. She seems to know no one,
and. so far as / can learn. no one knows
more about her than dol, at least,
know she came from Turin. and that is
more than my informants were aware
of.
/ still occupy my rooms, waiting my
chance. 1t is tantaliZing to live in the
same house with the one you love and
! find no opportunity of even commerc-
ing the siege. That old Teresa guards
| her charge like thoroughbred Spanish
duenna. Her dark eyes glance quickly
and suspiciously at me whenever meet
| the two women, and bid them the good
morning which fellow-lodger may
| venture upon. As yet l have got no
further than these cold civilities. Pau
| lines eyes and manner give me no en-
couragement. She acknowledges my
| salutation gravely, distantly and apa-
| thetically. 1t is clear to me that love
at first sight is not bound to be recipro-
cal. comfort myself by thinking that
| Fate must have something i'll store for
| me, or Pauline and l would never have
| been brought face to face again.
So all | can do Is to Turk behind the
| thick red curtains of my window and
watch my love, guarded by that old cat
| Teresa go out and come in. | am OBJ
| lyed now to exercise due caution in this
| proceeding, as the duenna once caught
| sight of me, and now each time they
| pass I see her fierce eyes peering into
my hiding place. l am beginning to
| hate Teresa.
Yet if have done little, am in the
| same house. breathing the same air as
| Pauline. and l am a patient man and
can wait for my opportunity. 1t viii
be sure to come at last.
! This is how it came. One evening
| heard fall, clatter Of china and a cry
| of distress. ran out of my room and
found Teresa lying on the stairs amid
| the ruins of the landlady's best tea-Set,
| and grooming earnestly. My chance had
| comet
With the shameless hypocrisy of love,
ran to her aid, as eager to help her as
| though she had been my mother. l en-
| deaVOred in the most tender manner,
to raise her; but she sank back, wailing
| out something about, "one of re foots
| broke"
1t was clear that Teresa's English was
not her strong point: so | asked her in
| Italian what was the matter. She
frightened up as she heard her own Ian
guage, and found that she had sprain-
ed her knee so severely that she was I'M
able to rise. 1 told her that would
| carry her to her room, and without
more ado picked her up and bore her
upstairs.
Pauline was standing on the landing.
Her large dark eyes were opened wide,
her whole appearance that of alright,
paused moment and explained what
had happened, then took the old wo-
man into the room which she occupied
and laid her on the bed. The servant
of the house was sent for doctor, and,
as l retired, Pauline thanked me quiet
~, but fancied listlessly, for my kind
ness. Those dreamy eyes met mine, yet
scarcely seemed to know it. Yes, was
obliged to confess it, my goddess was
in manner apathetic-but then, her
beautyl Those refined regular features,
the girlish but well-formed figure-the
thick brown hair, even those strange
dark eyes. Surely there was no woman
in the world to compare with her.
! She gave me her hand at parting-a
small well-formed soft hand. l could
scarcely refrain from pressing my lips
to it'll could scarcely refrain from tell
ing her then and there that for months
, l had thought of her and her only-but
, injudicious as such proceedings might
have been at first meeting they would
have been doubly so whilst old Teresa
, was lying and, in spite of her pains, with
suspicious eyes watching every move
ment of mine; SO / could only express a
J wish to be of further service to her and
) bow myself out discreetly.
d But the ice was broken--our hands
had met. Pauline and were strangers
} no longerl
. Old Teresa's sprain. although not
such serious affair as she fancied, kept
; her indoors for several DAYS. | hoped
this would enable me to improve my
acquaintance with her mistress, but the
result was not commensurate with the
, hope. For the first few days Pauline,
SO far as Iknew did not leave the house.
| Once OF twice l met her on the
stairs and, assuming fictitious interest
in the old woman, kept her in converse
} ton for minute or two. 1t seemed to
me that she was painfully shy-so shy
? that the conversation would fam have
! prolonged. after a little while died a
: natural death. | was not conceited
} enough to attribute her shyness and re-
/ ticence to the same cause which made
/ me blush and stammer as / spoke to
I her.
AT last, one morning saw her leave
, the house alone. took my hat and fol-
lowed her. She was walking up and
! down the pavement in front of the
house. / joined her, and, after the usual
inquiry for Teresa, continued atheT side.
!, ] must make an attempt to establish
I matters on better footing between US.
! you have not been long in England,
Miss March," l said.
II Some time-some MONTHS she re-
piled.
Il saw you in the spring at Turin-in
church. at San Giovanni She raised
her eyes and met mine with strange
puzzled look.
!, You were there with your old ser
vant-one morning." continued.
@Yes-we often went there
"You are English suppose-your
name is not an Italian onesh
Yes, am English
She spoke rs though not quite certain
about it-or as If it was a matter of
complete Indifference.
Your home is here-you are not go
ing back to ItalyT
!, Il don't know-I cannot tell"
Pauline s manner was very unsatisfy-
ing. / made many attempts to learn
something about her habits and tastes.
Did she play or sing-was she fond of
music. of pictures, of flowers, of the
stage, of travelling? Had she many re-
lations and friends? Directly or indi-
rectly, asked her all these questions.
Her replies were unsatisfactory.
Either she evaded the questions. as If
determined / should know nothing
about her. or she did not seem to I'M
derstand them. Many of them / felt
sure puzzled her. At the end of our
little promenade she remained as great
q MlStcla W llc dS DtlOIt- ne Only
comfort / could take was that she dis
played no wish to shun me. Wepassed
and repassed the house several times,
!. but she did not suggest re-entering, as
she might have done had she wished to
i get rid of me- There was no trace of
coquetry in her manner-quiet and re-
served as / found her, she was at least
Il simple and natural-and she was very
beautiful, and l was very, very much in
il lovcl
II was not lono hofora 7 df~covnrea