New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-09-11
THE 14LK or THE DAY.


It is mistake to suppose that religious papers are
ayerse to fun. Many Of them have humorous column
containing items clipped from other papers; but they
rarely venture out the treachercus sea OF original
humor. The ConGregaoaaiisi however, yerges 10 that
direction when 1t publishes asaratoga letter from
hard Understanding Of course, hard drinker OF the
mineral waters.
uaS SSs eanSir TS Ss nas Of e
OF the lines mention David 1t is striking OMISSION
1.-The Troy Times.
They started from the Glen Hotel
In youthful love and pride,
To climb, through wood and shaded dell,
The mountains rugged side.
Ger messy rock and fallen tree
Up steep and dangerous ways,
They helped each other he aud she,
To meet the sunset rays
They gained the top We're seen above
Far gazing DER the plain;
Alas for them. for life and love
They neer came back again
what.-Then they met that dreadful fate.
Fell DER the cliff and died
0, no for they, as I'll relate
Went down the other side,
Patrons OF the Elevated Railway are often treated to
little intellectual entertainment by the employees,
which II not instructive is dsgustngly amusing. ON
Wednesday morning at the Nnety-reeond-st station Of
the secondave ne OF the gatemen was eating his
lunch, and was greeted by.a brakeman or down-tran
with. in Fourth Ward style, " Put up that grub" A
brakeman at the other end Of the car followed with
"You're hungry beggar, anyhow (" Yesterday morn
ing brakeman on down-train amused himself with
throwing spitballs at fellow employees on passing
trains shouting to Hebrew passengers as they got on
the train "wish you happy New Year; and stand
ing In the doorway whisDg the Irish Washerwomap.'
In how many sermons has the indestructbility OF
truth been illustrated by the wheat wrapped up Win an
ana . sns nss 6ssroysd this admir-
able story. Sir j. ID. Hooker OF London, an eminent
pealed TO. says; 1.-THE story Of Egyptian mummy
wheat having terminated has never been confirmed ana
edge experience In such matters give opinion
Innumerablo attempts TO stimulate mummy wheat INTO
vitality have each and all failed"- Baptist weekly.
Some rich Milwaukee brewers recently gave $500 each
to the Young Mems Christian Association Of that city,
The Association accepting these gifts has
aroused the indignation of Milwaukee clergyman, who
thinks that religious society has no right to accept any
aid from men who engaged in the liquor business.
LESSON IN PHILoLoGY.
YaHk
maiden whose molar was sore
Walked into q tooth Doctors door;
The tooth was yanked out
And she Topped With a shout
From the softcushoned chair 10 the moor.
Yankee
The maiden shrieked loudly with dread,
And shook from her feet to her head
Her blood she thought blue;
The truth now she knew,
For she saw IL was awfully red.
A Yankee.
The dentist stood taking his ease.
Examined the tooth for disease
Then he offered his hand
10 assist her TO stand,
And he said, Fifty cents, IL you please!
columbus Ohio Dispatch.
II seems that Captain HOwards Calling didn't do
so very much damage in the Northwest rebellion after
all I'm his official report the Canadian surgeonGenera
says that only one man was discovered whose death
known to have resulted from atling gun bullets.
"Good gracious. Dusenberry. didn't know until to-
day that you had been MARI led three times.
''Yes Bromley | have taken all the degrees. The
first wife knocked all the romance out Oh me- the secohd
taught me humility -
"And your present wife T.
Made philosopher out OF me. can bear other
peoples troubles with great deal oil se!eompaeency
philadelphia Call
In order to celebrate its ortyrst anniversary The
Toronto Globe comes out in mammoth forntbrtyeight
pages exclusive OF the handsome illustrated cover
The Globe is vigorous and enterprslng newspaper,
even when compared with American journalism, and
stands easily among the leading newspapers of British
North America In rendering TO 1t our congratulations
we wish for Il a long career OF success
A haffrightened lady was saying to railway con.
ductor the other day on train that sne was on her
Montreal on account OF the smallpox. The Official who's
was French canadian with bis native contempt OF the
scSgrg observed Dan a ,SeTe Mss no ai IN h
very heart OF the disease, where the newspapers say
f. the more prevalent, yet do NOT Blnd IL at all Inc
fact is the smallpox Is not nearly bad as people say
il is The lady more terrified than ever, lied from the
official presence to another car--lQnebec Chronicle
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fTTr ADTEN