Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-11-22
A LIVELY TIME,
In Which the Celebrated South Side
Billy Goat
Played Star Parts--The Story the VIC
tim Spun to a Real Estate
Agent, in Hearing of
a Reporter.

An old lady from the Emerald Isle, sew
eral days since, appeared in the Office ct
real estate 3gent, who will be called Mr..
Jacobs for short--for awhile, anyway. She
did not see o REGISTER reporter who WAS
leaning back in large aud elegantly
cushioned chair smoking fve-for.Gver
with luxurious ease quite natural.
"PfhBat's that ! smell burnin herein,
Mr.. Jacobs?' said che. is it leather
sor?"
"Oh, that's nothing but the dampness.
answered The proprietor. And then the re.
porter, taking hint from wink let fall
by the real estate agent. settled down,
squelched the "burnin leather and waited
to hear what was to come.
"Shurely, Mr. Jacobs, its almost kilt |
am eutcirely, cor, and | want yez to come
right along wild me- There's beasthly
billy goat in me house and he's all along
of desthroyin' the furpishure, TO be shure.
want yez to ejict him Immediately, or
pom me sowl be II be- the runation of me,
at ell, at eli And the lady hobb!ed
around in an excited manner.
Whose billy goat is it, and why did sou
let him in?' asked the agent.
"Divil wan Of me lit him in, the rap
scalllon. was nalein' down schrubtin
me front slips, whin the haste came along
widout warnin and thumped me ct tie
mhost conspicuous pint, sor, and whole |
was regaiuin me fate The howhn' scoun-
drel ascinded the slips and walks into me
house ng il he owned the howl town, and
wanlid to know ptWhat | WAS Twin III It
for. By the howly smokes | couldn't walk
bit at al, at ALL and so crawled on me
hands and nsse, whin the bG:te took aim
and let me have a sockdolager on the same
spot entoirely, kuockin' me almost sinse.
! less under the bid. Ow, howly Moses, the
divil is in him altogether, go he is. Ow!
me poor body And the old lady again
took turl around the Office, limping in a
painful manner. The reporter and the
ogeDt were 8lmos. smothered with sup
pressed Laughter, but the latter managed TO
cay:
And why didn't you get club and
put him OUT"
Club, is it you say. Shure aud club
would have bia useless entoirelY. A whole
brick yard wouldn't have settled the brute.
Az sooa as appeared from under the bid
the brute came at nee like that and she
butted at the agent with her head, striking
| him in the stomach aud completely knock
iug ,he breath out Of hin. Then he
kicked up his divelsh hales like that" and
she let fly number nine knocking a chair
over on dog who had become alarmed
aud taken refuge in corner. The cur
gave blood-cur3liDg yelp and shot under
The woman who made several dizzy gyra.
tons then came down on the floor with q
thump that turned over lamp on table
/ and knocked down two or three pieces CT
plsster.ofparis statuary, which the agents
| wife had secured from an Italian in return
/ for some of his winter clothes. There was
q scene which would have paralyzed the
gallery gods in thester, In the coufus.
ion the reporter let out yell that shook
the building, whereat he was greatly re.
lieved. Bg this time the agent had re-
. gained bis breath and the old woman was
upon her feet. de lett the Office with
her and went TO the house, where they
found the billy" peacefully nibbling a
crash tidy on q chair back. He looked
up iuuocently Ga the two entered, the
woman keeping behind The sgent. who had
fence paling in his hand. The goat
rushed for him, passed betseen his legs
and again struck tho old lady amidhips
knocking her limp into corner Then
amid yeli3 and imprecslions the agent
| broke the fence pa!ing and three cane
seated chsirs over the billy's back before
. that Individual came TO ths ccnc usion that
he was not wanted ard that the fun was
| becoming moaCtonOus anyway. So he
v Gated the premises. The old lady is
still in bed, and the agent haG credited up
three cane bottom chairs 10 her next
months rent.
| This js tae aame goat that came from
! Manchester snd went down into the Sixth
ward TO call upon come lady goats. On
the evening Of the same day on which the
above exploit occurred, this same goa,
met q we'll known Young man from up
town who wns out walking with his beat
g;si, and scientifically kicked him in the
CATER with his head The animal has dis
appeared, and it is thought that he was
either kidnapped or brown into the river
With ton Oi ltone attached 10 his neck.