davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04
HUMOROUS.

st Louis husbands never box their
wives ears. II would take too much
lumber The author OF the foregoing
resides in Chicago NV The Ratchet
Fate Of the Dairs maid:
The dairy maid penaivcly mlsed the goat,
And. pOuting. she pan ~ed To rnuticr:
wish. you brute. you would turn 10 milk
And the animal turned 10 butt her.
oh was il I, or was IL you7' asks
the golden-h haired poet, Nora Perry. II
Nora will refrain from making noise.
perhaps between us we can shove IL on
to the proof-reader. -Bnfaio Erpress.
A new company Is pclng started IN
Boston. entitled The American Clean
Towel Company The printing Office
towel needs not the aid Of a company.
1t can stand alone. wv Waterbury Amcrt-
can.
Passenger -"Captain, how far arc
we from landP' Captain about two
miles. n Passenger But can't see
it. In what direction is itP" Captain
--'Straight down, sir. - Hurper's ba-
gar.
A writer asserts that unless boy
has some natural ability nothing can
make him smart Such an assertion Is
an uncallcd-for aspcrsion upon the
powers Of the mustard plaster and
trunk strap. -LowcH Ciiaen.
Some tourists in the Alps asked
some shepherds whom they met near
hut: "Can we sleep in this hut over
nightP" Certainly" was the reply,
"but you must do IL by daytime. fox
We sleep in il ourselves 1T night "
Icras SiftiHgs.
--Bilkins. whose language il fowery.
called his wife "a daisy" during their
engagement; during the hone, moon,
he called her "a pink and now
when she meets him with rolling pin,
at two o'clock in the morning. he calls
her "a night blooming serious - CHI
cdgo Handler.
Are You fond OF terra-cotta
vascsp' asked "a Gotham girl Of
Brooklyn lady, whose husband temper
Is like midsummer weather hot enough
TO light gas with. II cant say that
do. she replied. a. her eyes snapped.
~ see too much Of fiery family jars at
home ~ " Journal.
In clergymans house not thou
sand miles from Chicago, where there
was bright little three-yearold boy,
seven lovely little kittens had been born
the night before The next morning
the dear old minister. in bis grace, said:
20 Lord, consccrate. we pray Thee, the
repast set before us, and accept our
thanks for the new blessings Of the past
night Amen" The little fellow i'm
mediately responded; .Seven u them,
papA"-Harper's BGsar.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

r. Is. Hayes IL hank teller n
Lewiston, Me, and William A. Wheeler
u In the insurance business In Boston.
The story iscirculatcd concerning
Mayor Low. u Brooklyn. that he 4
desperately in love with his wife. Out
side Of Office hours he is generally at
home.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox. the poetess.
passes nearly all her time at work IN
her study, which Is snug little sane
tum on the top story Of her husband .
handsome house ia Mcriden, Conn. 49,
Hartford Post.
Nilsson Is about 10 make her first
professional tour in her native sweden
since she became great singer. She
was born IN q WOO choppers hut, in
the forest Of Wexio, forty-two years ago.
IN u Sun.
Mrs. A. L. Stewart has suite OF
eight rooms At the Grand Onion Hotel.
Saratoga. At dinner the table is al
ways set for eighteen in her private
dining-room in anticipation Of possible
company. - Troy Times
-Horaiio Seymour, 40 Deerneld, N.
- So. ~ . tHNlt tliht ntiuUHtu I'D
Daniel Webster. looks out Of window
which was once in Fancul Hall. and
warns his feet At fireplace OF tiles
taken from the house Of John Jay, 1T
Albany. ttica Herald
The Mikado OF Japan has bestowed
the ribbon Of the third-class on ID. w.
Stevens. who for many years was First
Secretary Of the United states Legation
III Japan. and afterward was Secretary
OF the Japanese Legation al Wash.ng-
ton. Orders higher than the fourth
class are seldom conferred on for
elgners. - Chicago Inter ocean.
1t is an interesting fact that many
American men Of letters are not college
graduates. Walt Whitman. Whipp.c.
Trowbridge, Field. Parton. Ba,ard
Taylor. Eggleston, Harte. Howels.
James, Aldricb. Lathrop. Stockton,
Piatt, Cable. Crawford. Fawcelt, Glider.
Harris. Carleton, Mark Twain. Stod-
dardt and Burroughs. il il sid. have
gained all their knowledge and culture
outside Of college walls AZ y. 1tlL-
une.
The late DR. Ireneus Prime. tho
venerable editor Of the New York o.
seyctr. who died recently AT the age Of
sevcnty-threc, was the recognized or
aclc Of Prcsbytcrianism ia the United
States. A man Of talent. crudtion and
piety. he was q power both A. writer
and a speaker. and remained lin the
harness" with wonderful persistence.
The religious world loses one Of is best
and hardest workers BY his death. W.
CHICAGO Journal
A group Of five, representing a.
many generations Were recently pho
tographed by an indianapolis photo
grapher The members Of il were
james Hubbart, Of Washington Town
ship. one hundred years old last March:
Mrs Elizabeth Richards, his daughter.
aged seventy-three; a granddaughter,
Eliza McElwec, aged fifty her son
Thomas. aged twenty.cight, and his
daughter. Ollie McElwee. aged three.
Can this be matched elsewhere in the
United States?- Chicago Tribune.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

In 1852. dnr ne the war Of the re-
bellion, Mr.. Charles H. Hooper. oil
Castine. Me. sent letter home VIII eli
b wife never received until recently.
rwenty-thrcc years were occupied by
The miSsye in coming from Washing.
ton 10 Castine. -- Iron Times.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

A railroad President. now de-
ceased. used t. tell with much enjoy
ment the story q the only instance
within his knowledge wherein an hon
est and true reason was given for ask
ing pass One day the son OF a
prominent citizen came along brisk
Young chap and said mir. Double
track. viii be obliged to you if on
give me pass to Boston and gave
no reason AT ALL Mr.. poublctrack
asked his young visitor. why should
you have pass?' To which the re-
ioinder amcplomptly: .Well. don't
want TO paw Astonishcd at this
plain telling II the truth. Mr.. Double
track gave him the pass. Philadelphia
Ledler.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

- he experiment that was tried by
California fruit-growers two years ago
in the III pment of apples to China and
Australia has produced results most
favorable. The shipments were Of good
quail ~. and took so well that orders
were repeated and increased. and the
exports 70 China IN the past six months
have assumed large proportions. -- San
Francisco CAL.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04
"SHE tried her prentice hand on man,
And linen ahl formed the laesll.s u I,

"Whaf is woman's worth.' asked a fair
damsel OF a crusty old bachelor. He did
not know, SO she said: W. q. man double
you O mani. But woman feels worth
little IL disease has invaded her system and
Is daily sapping her strength. For all fe-
male weaknesses, DR.. r. v. Pierce's " Fav-
orite Prescription stands unrivaled. Ii
cures the complaint and builds up the sys-
TEN. Send two letter stamps for pamphlet
to Worlds Dispensary Medical Associa-
ton, Buffalo, y. Y.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

Positively Popular; Provoke Praise; Prove
Priceless; Peculiarly Prompt; Perceptibly
Potent; Producing Permanent Profit: Pre-
GLIDING Pimples and Pustules; Promoting
Purity and Peace. Purchase. Price, Pet
~. Pharmacists Patrouizing Pierce Pro-
cure Plenty.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

IA CHIgAGo frll is introducing wooden
slippers into this country. The small bow
Is al IN sweat for fear that his mother
VIII take II into her head to buy pair
Burlington Free Press.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

wELL-KSowN New York tailor recent.
iy attempted TO kill his wife, and subse.
quently committed suicide. This is evi.
IDENTIFY not case Of the survival Of the
''fittest. life.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

JAPANESE fans sell from three cents M
70 $780, The former are the best for use
II Is easier 70 raise the windv at that
price.-Aorrisfosc Herald
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

PfKE's TooTHAcHE DROPS cure IN minutee5c
Gienn's sulphur Soap heals and bcautif.s~. &c
GERMAN CORS REMOVER kills corns l5unions
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

The army OF the United States, on
q war foot ne. numbers 3. 10000 men
the largest military establishment in
the world. Chicaq0 Herald.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

4. n. X, B. 1O45
WHEN WRITING TO ADvERTIsERS
please say you saw the advertisement u
this paper. Advertisers like to know
When aud where their advertisements Are
paying bsst
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04
UNImPEACHAbLE
TESTIMONY!

IN. y. BRApvrKLD-I have taken several hofties a
your Female Regulator for sslne o. the womb and
redHg b<sts an cured saur<ip for which please 40
cept my heartfelt thanks. ! know your medicine
itr FAVOR. Respectfully.
MRS W. T. sTEBBfxs. Ridge. Ca.
DIR BnADronD-I have. ~ you know. been seliine
your Female Regulator for years. and have had 4
steedy Increasing demand Tor III n gives the yerv
n,st satisfaction frequently sell II 10 physicians
10 use u In their practice with the satisfactory
vai,s. - X THOMAS. NJ d.. Druggist.
send Tor Treatise on Woman Mailed free
bEApF1ELD REGULATOR Co.. Atlanta. Ca
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

st. Louis husbands never box their
wives ears. II would take too much
lumber The author Of the foregoing
resides in Chicago 800 The Ratchet
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1885-09-04

Principal once. ssl mai. Sc. LOUISVILLE. KY,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
Noticn afSale

Notice is hereby given, that by virtue of a judp-
ment and decree In foreclosure. rendered and
given by the District Court of the third Judicial
Territory of Dakota. and entered and dockcted in
the Office Of the clerk Of said court IN and for said
cs.inty en- the islh day Of September. 1855, in an
Company, limited, was plaintiff, and Patrick +.
jennings and Bridget Jennings we're defendants.
in tavor Of the said plaintiff and against the said
deitniants Patrick F. Jennings and Bridget
ScnHtngs, fer the sum Of Five Hundred and Forty
seve n and seventy one-hundretltls (s5i7.SO,5 dof
lars, which judgment and decree among
other things directed the sale by me of the real
of said judgment with interest therson and the
costs and expenses Of such sale or so much thereof
AZ the proceeds ofsuch sale applicable thereto win
Of the office of the clerk Of said court in and for
said county Of Pembina, and under the seal of
said court directing me to sell said real ,operty
pursuant a, to said Judgment and decree, david
by said court to make said sale viii sell tile here.
matter described real estate to the highest bidder
for cash. At public auction. at the front door OF
county of Penbina and Territory of Dakota. on
the Seventh day of November A, d. i66S. af
two o'clock p M Of that day. to satisfy said judy
ment with interest and costs thereon and the costs
the proceeds Of such sale applicable thereto will
satisfy. The premises To be sold as aforesaid
pursuant to said judgment, and decree, and to
Judgment, decree and writ as follows to-wit: All
that tract situated lying and being In the c0finty
of Pembina, u L., and described ~ follows, to.
wit: The moth EAST quarter lne ~ Of section
hundred and sixty-thrcc ie3) north, of range fifty.
one t5l) west containing one hundred and sixty
acres according 70 the United States government
Attorney soi Plaintiff. sheriff u rs gafk,
FARGO DIT. s'l6 County, ID. 7.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23

The following account of compar.
alive test of flour in London, Eng,
may be OF interest. 1t will appear
that the Canadian Pacific sample
stands little higher than Pillsbury
Best. but then the former was specially
selected for the purpose. We copy
from the Montreal Witness: "Some
listle time ago, Il sample of flour,
milled by Messrs. Ogilvie & Co., in
their Winnipeg mill from No.
Manitoba Red Fife wheat, was placed
in the hands Of the editor of the
British and Foreign Confectioner on
benalf of the Canadian Pacific railway.
Samples Of the flour were also sent to
Il number of London bakers, who pro.
nOunce it to combine unexampletl
strength and wliiteness. One baker
stated that lie found That it would
absorb seven quarts more water to the
sack than strong English flour, and lie
thought would command II ready mar.
ket ut from 2Ss to Sos per sack. a
comparative test was also made he.
tween the Manitoba and eight other
samples of American flour which re.
suited as follows:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23

The attention of township officers
and particularly that Of township
clerks is called to the fact that it is
time that the delinquent road
tax lists should he looked up.
The road supervisors should be mott.
fed to send in the lists to the town.
ship clerk immediately that he may
have time to prepare the same for the
county auditor. III no notice is given
to the road supervisors many of them
will neglect to send in their returns
and somebody should look after them.
Last year not less than three thousand
dollars were lost to the county by
neglect in this matter. Only four OF
five townships sent in these returns,
and in the remainder those who had
worked had their work for their pay
while those who stayed ut home, Or
were non residents had nothing to
pay.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23

Already the people Of this country
are under substantial obligations to
the Gait Coal Mining Company and
the other local mining organizations
which have been instrumental III
materially reducing the price Of fuel
in Manitoba and the Northwest.
When we remember tho price Of coal
a few years ago, and reflect upon the
reduction which local competition
has effected, the extent Of our oblig.
alton will be more clearly understood.
Imported coal is not now more than
half us costly US it has been within
the recollection Of most If our
pcople.-Winnipeg Free Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
.erfectiOnatl last.

Having paid strict attention to the
production Of a better style and quality
of boots and shoes than are commonly
made, l take the pleasure of calling the
readers attention to the fact. Experience
shows that good custom work is appre-
ciated by all. and that not low prices, but
the best of material and style is what is
wanted. My price for a good boot or
shoe are not the lowest. because make
no cheap or slIoddy goods; the latter of
which is dear at any price. claim for
my boots and shoes that they excel all
others manufactured; first in style,
second in neatness of fit, third in quality
and fourth i'll superior workmanship.
All work warranted, and can be sent to
any one per parcel post to any part of
the states or territories at one cent per
ounce. Whenever you may be in the
city. would be very pleased to take your
order. Yours truly,
Ed. G. FLoRANCE,
Pembina. ID. r.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23


Mr.. Anthony Garnet, of st. Thomas,
still advocates the Importance of send.
ing IL large quantity Of our No. hard
wheat, direct to Great Britain in Gus.
tody of some party in the position to
give the necessary time and attention
to introducing this grade of wheat
amongst foreign millers and securing
the recognition to which its merits
entitle it. We are satisfied that 50
general is the fate that awaits our
No. l hard of being mixed with in.
ferior wheat from other sections that
its production in SO large quantities is
not fully known by English millers.
1t is clearly not to the interest of
leading export dealers to boom our
No l hard, since they have such /.
preponderance of inferior wheat. Our
best grade of wheat has not yet estab.
lished reputation in foreign markets,
however familiar its name has become
throughout the northwest. Mime.
apolis millers have built up reputation
for their best grade of flour in not a
few of foreign markets, but they are
ut no pains to publish that this flour
is made from Northern Dakota and
Minnesota wheat. Dakota wheat
growers must see to it that their No.
l hard has IL name and IL market of its
own i'll foreign countries. We will
then see stronger and steadier de.
lnand for the genuine article and the
bears and bulls in this country will
have less power in manipulating the
price.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
SAIH;
Of Property at st. Vincent, Minn., and
Hamilton, Dakota, belonging
to the O'keefn Estate.

ON THE Goth DAY OF OCTOBER 1885,
At the front door oftl,e post office, in st.
Vincent, kittson County, Minnesota, the
undersigned will offer for sale at public
auction, the following described real
estate, to-wit:
In St. Vincent, Minnesota: lot eleven
(11). in block eighty (sO), lot one (D, in
block eighty-five (S5). and lot twelve (12)
in block eighty-six 1857, upon which is a
good store building 20 by 60 feet, and
warehouse.
In Hamilton, Dakota: Lots sixteen lG)
and seventeen (17) in block nineteen l9)
upon which is a good store building "a
by 50 feet.
Also, at the same time and place, 1 will
offer for sale at public auction, the book
debts and accounts belonging to the said
estate, a list of which debts and accounts
can be seen at the law office of r. r.
Heidelberg. st. Vincent, MINI.
The right to reject any and all bids is
reserved. Sale to commence at 10 a. m.
Dated, st. Vincent, Mimi, Oct. 9TH
1885 A. H. WINSTON,
Assignee, estate of w. NJ. OKeefe.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
Winter Reading

1t appears to be notable fact that the
best farmers, and the best stocklnen are
the very best friends of newspapers.
1t is generally the old fogy and the
ne'er-do-wells, that scolf at "book and
newspaper larnin," and if they are in.
duced to take their home country paper
they never read it. The progressive
farmers, those that get thirty bushels Of
wheat to the acre, and own fine, fat,
sleek cattle and horses, are invariably
men whose sitting room table will be
generously supplied with, not only local
newspapers, but agricultural Journals,
books relating to stock, to feeding AMI
mails, which contain the thoughts and
experiments Of able men, who devote
their time and energies to advance the
cause of agriculture and to learn how to
produce more abundant crops, as well as
to surround their stock with the best
for raising them successful by
and probably.
Every farmer in the Northwest will be
benefited greatly by subscribing to one
or more good agricultural papers, and if
one is published near by it certainly
should lie regular visitor in the family.
The Northwestern Farmer, published
at Fargo, Dakota, is doing good work
the Northwest, and we have
decided to offer it to every old subscriber
rs well as TO all new subscribers in con.
nection with the PIONEER EXPRESS for
81 a year, the subscription being paid in
advance. Or, you can order the North
western Farmer direct from Fargo for
one dollar per year, in advance. We will
have sample copies sent to any address
OIL application.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
WHEAT]

To enable all parties indebted to the Penn
bina County Bank or the undersigned to
hold their wheat until such time as they
think best, will take their wheat at any
elevator to which they may see fit to
haul it and advance the market value on
the following grades: No. hard, No.
straight, and No. 9. Write for particu-
lars and cost OF holding same before haul
ing same to the elevators. We are pre-
pared to hold your wheat until next
June If desired.
1913 l.. i. BOOKER.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23

The first column gives the quantity
of flour tested, the second the amount
Of water absorbed, the third tile mum.
Der of four pound loavcs u $50 pound
sack of the flour would have produced,
the fourth the strength and the fifth
the color. In an unpublished letter
the editor of the Confectioner pro.
nounces it one of the best, if not the
best, brand of American -four that
has appeared in the British market.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
loNEER
ORTABLE
ALACE OF
HOTOGRAPRY,
Hamilton, Dakota.
Very Remarkable Recovery.

Mr.. Geo. v. Willing, of Manchester,
Mich, writes: "Afy wife has been almost
helpless for five years, 80 helpless that
she could not turn over in bed alone.
She used two bottles of Electric Bitters.
and is so much improved, that she is
able now to do her own work." Electric
bitters will do all that is claimed for them.
Hundreds Of testimonials attest their
great curative powers. Only fifty cents
bottle ate. Moore & Co.. or ID. McGruer's
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
U. S. land Office, Grand Forks D, T. oct o 100,

U. S. land Office, Grand Forks D. Il. Oct o. ,s,
Notice is hereby given that the following. nam.
ed settler has filed notice of his intention to make
final proof IN support of his claim and that said
proof will be made before J. Henry Abrams. a
Notary Public, at Pembina. Oak on November ~
lSS5 viz William Mclean, ~
DIS. No. ki5I Tor the NV or sec 81, t 1863 H. r 52w.
He names the following witnesses to prove his
continuous residence upon and cultivation of said
land, viz: Geo Bellamy. Samuel Kennedy. Gen
Richer and David Carson. all of Bathgatc Oak.
l2-11 B. C. TIFFANY, Register.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
A Wonderful Discovery.

Consumptivcs and all who suffer from
any affection of throat and lungs, can
find certain cure in DR.. Kings New
Discovery for consumption. Thousands
OF permanent cures verify the truth Of
this statement. No medicine can show
such u record of wonderful cures. Thous.
ands OF once hopeless sufferers now CRATE
fully proclaim they owe their lives to
this New Discovery. 1t will cost you
nothing to give it = trial. Free trial
bottles af Z. Moore 4 Co.'S drug store,
or d. McGruer's. Large size, $l.0O.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
NOTICE!

&c. Canning is my authorized agent
at Drayton. Dakota. He will transact
any business in Pembina, Walsh and
Grand Forks counties, Dakota, and also
in kittson, Marshall and Polk counties.
Minnesota, in connection with my timper
lands. situated on the Red river.
HENRY TUCKER.
Minneapolis, MINI. May LIST, 1885.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-10-23
Grants Memoirs.
The undersigned has the contract for
introducing the above celebrated
book throughout Pembina and
Cavalier counties. He re-
spectfully asks the
public to note a
few points.

]. No other person has any right to sell
this book.
2. The undersigned expects to be
through every nclghborhood in this
county within the next few months
Should he fail to meet any desiring the
book, the order may be sent to the
PIONEER EXPRESS office, Pcmbina, and it
will be promptly attended to.
8. The extraordinary interest felt in
this book OH the part of the general
public has called forth many spurious
works, so gotten up as to deceive lnany.
Refuse such books and hold your orders
for Personal Memoirs of U. $. Grant"
to he purchased through the undersigned.
Pembina. Oct. Is e. w, LUTES.