Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1885-12-07
THEY ARBIrRATED.

II One Gay Ahbt week DeIrOlt prOuuc0-
buyer had occasion to remain over night
with farmer in Western Michigan. While
eating supper he was asked if he knew
much about law-whether he had ever
served on jury if he called himself q
competent man to arbitrate in an affair be-
tween neighbors, and if he was posted on
the law regarding breach of promise cases.
He answered these questions as best he
could, and apparently to the satisfaction of
the farmer, for as soon as the meal was fin
ished the sun-browned agrculturist conf
dentially began:
| 81 think you are a pretty square man,
and want you to help me out of a little
difficulty. I'll be back in about half an
hour"
He put on his hat and went down the
road, and at the time agreed upon he re-
turned in company with young farmer
about twenty-five years cid, whom
he called Josephus. The only peculiar
things about Josephus were his Haxen hair,
long legs white eyebrows and breadth of
feet, but he was no mud-sill. As soon as
he was introduced he opened the case as
follows:
There hain't no use in any beating
laround the bush. The fact is, when first
come here, ! fell in love with Uncle Sile's
Mary. She riciprocated, and we agreed TO
have each other. That's correct, isn't it,
Uncle Sile?"
II 81 guess that's about the way of it," re-
piled the farmer.
| "Wall to make long story short, last
Jnuary gin Mary the cold shake fm a gal
over in the Bebee Settlement Mary is a
Igood gal, but she haint even second fiddle
on style or good looks, and Uncle Sile
knows that as well as ] do. Now, then,
; they've been talking about n breach OF
lpromise suit on me, and l won't deny
: they've got case. I've been willing al
along to settle damages OIL fair basis, but
we couldn't just agree on what was fair
Uncle Silas comes over and says you are
here, and he offers to leave il out to you il
l will, and so if you will act on the case
we IL come 10 hOUlt COucluhlOu.
Il "Where is Mary" asked the Detroiter
"Down in Martin county, Indiana" an
| swered the father.
And she writes home, added Josephus
"that she's had nine offers of marriage il
a two weeks. Them Hoosiers il just swarm
ing for her. Them nine offers want to b
considered in assessing damages"
i And how old is she?"
y "She's only twenty-one, and that's an
, other thing to be considered 'Taint lik
? as if she was forty, and might have to 60 Of
: to China as missionary
II And how much property are 20,
: WORTH"
~ wall, I've forty acres of scrub land, o.
: old COW and a mule, and ] reckon the trap
around the place might bring $40 at auc
ton. That's honest Injun, and Uncle Sill
! knows it."
9 Yes, that's about the way he's fixed,
: y said the farmer.
u " And another thing you want to col
u slider is the fact that l amt purity. If
q was purity fhe gal might claim high dan
y ages, but I'm about as internal homely as
Digger Injun. Add TO this the fact that
"a am an Infdel, and that can't sing nor fit
d die, nor dance, and am too lazy to enjoy
" billed dinner, and what has the gal lost b
o not marrying me ,"
nj and you are both willing to leave it t
y me?"
b II reckon" they answered together.
"Well, all things considered" said ID
Detroiter after due reflection, my verde
is that Josephus drive the old COW over her
} in full for all damages. What do you ga,
II young MANI"
1.-The COW is worth $l4, but I'll do
rather than have any hard feelings"
al "How is it with you, Uncle Sile?"
tol "Waal, l guess that's about fair. l La
d been sticking out for SIS i'll cash, but time
=. are purity clus and want to give Joe ia
lel show. Con git the crittur, Josephus, an
D. we'll have the papers made out, treat I'll
= stranger 70 hard cider, and go to bed feelil
= that we are good friends as before you 81
u Mary the shake. "-DetrOit Free Press.