St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-05

NO IernapS he forgot my address, or
hunted for me and couldn't find me, as l
moved away three years afterward."
Another
Il have been little skittish of envelopes
ever since. L got stuck with another, how
ever. A blushing groom placed one be-
tween the covers of the Bible, while the
bride wasn't looking and said in a whisper:
"A little keepsake for yOu.' What do
you suppose was in that envelOpe?"
Rep
mo. Four live bedbugs. On a sheet of
paper was Scrawled:
"'When these you see
Remember me,
And also our love match;
Should you e'er shirk
Your Christian work
They'll bring you 10 the scratch"
"Then there's the marriage certificate
dodge. Its a good one. I've had it
played on me and know of a number of
Others who have suffered. Here is nv case:
An apparently well-tO-do compile came to
my house and
MARRIED THEM.
After the consummatiOn of the ceremony
the groom said that he wanted handsome
certificate with a costly frame
Let 1t be nice; anything below SIS
will suit. Call it Twenty-Five said he,
stroking his mustache pompously. When
can have it?'"
Il told him if he'd call in the latter part
Of the week I'd have a nice one for him,
The certificate and frame cost me SIT.
They were gorgeous. That's the frame up
there around my grandmother said the
minister, signing. 1.-The certificate can be
purchased at cost price"
The wretch didn't come again?"
Il am forced to admit he did not. and If
he forgot where the house was / never
heard of him securing the neighbOrhood i'm
search OF me. Another case is fresh in my
memory, as it is OF recent date. After |
had married compile the groom jingled the
contents of his pockets and then Withdrew
his closed hand As l bowed him from the
front door he got between me and the bride
and shaking my hand warmly, placed large
coin in il as he babe me a hearty gOOd-by.
have that coin yet. Here it is. And the
dominic produced a leaden sinker that had
been beautifully rounded and sandpapered
to make it resemble $50 gold piece
MANY and many time have 1 been
fooled by leaden trade dollars" sighed the
parson, land on one occasion a vicious
fellow gave me
4 GILT NICKEL
which L mistOok for a five-dollar gold
piece"
These may all have been mistakes"
suggested the scribe.
Let us pray
''Eh?"
Let us pray for the benefit of mankind
that they are. Checks drawn on broken
banks that never had any existence, or
banks where they had never heard of the
drawer. cannot be claSSed under that head.
The ministers of our cities could furnish
fine collection of these if they were called
upon to do so. The effrOntery of these de-
PRAYED beings always takes the form of
baShfulneSs. They make believe that they
are too baShful to offer the money i'm the
presence of the bride. Whenever l hear a
bsshful man jingling in his pockets, l am
not certain that his pocket does not contain
nails or keys until he produces a coin, and
am not certain of the genuineness of the
coin until | have tested it with my teeth.
An honest, GOd-fearing man comes out
boldly, and in presenting his Offering makes
a little joke about his bride being worth it
or something of that kind. That makes us
all happy, and there is no need of fractur-
ing ones teeth. However, l was fooled
once by a man who did the very same thing.
He had neglected to provide a ring and I
loaned him one 1 always have on hand.
After the ceremony he returned il, and
asked me what my charge was. L told him
we made no charge, but if he felt inclined
to remunerate me he could do so. He 10
coSely remarked that he guessed his baby
was worth SIS, and if she proved good he'd
send me SIS on every anniversary of the
wedding He called for pen and ink and
FILLED OUT CHECK.
He insisted upon my praying for their well
fare before they left, and l did so. They
had never heard of him at the bank upon
which the check was drawn
And you was a prayer Out?'
Zone minute! l really felt like amend
ing that petition, for it was fervent S25
one. / trust the wayward youth was
benefited by ii. He needed all the prayers
he could obtain by false pretenses. The
ring he handed back to me was not mine.
When he felt into his pocket for the check
he exchanged it for a five-cent brass one. l
have used it ever since when occasion re-
Quired."
THAT fellow was vagabOnd."
Il have tried to forgive him. but when
ever l look at that ring fear he is beyond
redemption" said the parson sadly. II
fear that Satan has firm grip on that way
ward child of sin.
''HOw is it in the country? Is it true
that in some villages they pay ministers
only 500 year and half the fish he
catches?"
The fish are not generally taken into
consideration, but the salaries are very low.
We of the Methodist faith are compelled to
change every three years. To-day we may
be with wealthy city congregation, and
next week we may be somewhere in the
Lakewood. They do not have any clandeS-
tine envelopes or worthless checks there,
but l find that human natureis the same.
They Try the certificate dodge sometimes,
but they generally pay us in wood, corn,
potatoes or originate donation for u.s."
Those pay you well, suppose"
'We-e-el. scarcely. The bride and groom
get it up and all hands bring
pie, cake, lemons and other things. There
isn't much left after they leave the table,
and they have always forgotten the sugar
or the milk, or something of that kind, and
we have to furnish it. They have a good
time, but they generally either ruin the car
pets, break down the beds, set fire to the
curtains or tranDle all over the flower beds