The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1885-06-25
Clara Bells Chat.

A handsome friend of mine was so
potent in love-making recently that he
got three girls simultaneously into q
sentimental condition which lacked
only the formal questions and answers
to complete betrothals. Then he real
lied for the first time that he had an
overabundance of wife material at his
command. Mighty nice girls they
were, all three; and it was with some
difficulty that he finally made a choice
for himself. What was he to do with
the othersP He didn't want to frac-
ture their hearts. He came to me for
advice.
Let me manage it," said ]. eff
you suddenly jilt Them they will get
mad about it, and perhaps lose the
whole summer moping. OF course
they'd come around all right by next
winter and catch on with two fellows
every whit as good as you. But the
thing can be fixed better"
And SO it has been, within month
from the time when my agency began.
1 gave the most careful attention to
the affair. First, picked out two fell
lows to place the original in the girls
affections, and adroitly introduced
them. Second, instructed the latter
chap Just how fast and in what manner
to make show of flirting with the
maiden of his choice. The result was
that managed to transfer the two
feminine hearts neatly, and all the
while they thought that they were
voluntarily throwing their old sweet
heart overheard. One of them actually
pitied him, and almost spoiled my job
| by telling him SO, for that wounded his
vanity. What is wanted in sentiment
| al undertaking is adroitness.
Now that am lecturing on matri-
mony, let me say that husbands ought
i to be more polite than they are to their
wives. can conceive of a gentleman
| literally kicking a woman justifably.
Indeed, current story in society tells
of q certain well-known club-man, or
dinarily as polite as Chesterfield, doing
exactly that thing-and vigorously,
too. He became the object of an ad.
ventures plot. When the fascinating
creature deemed the time ripe fol
blackmail, she called on him. coolly
prescribing the predicament in which
circumstantial evidence had placed
him, and demanded 1000 as the price
for letting him alone.
81 will call in three days for youI
answer" she is reported to have said
as she gracefully rose to go.
''Oh, you needn't wait" was the
calm reply; '.I'll give it to you now. >
Whereupon he lifted a heavily-shoC
foot and kicked her out of the room.
She screamed involuntarily. Severa
men ran to the spot and asked he
what was the matter. Her hustle wa
dislooated, and her dress-skirt torn
She said that she had slipped and fall
en-.
''She slipped in scheme to black
mail me, interposed the gentleman
and thus the failure of her enterprise
got into gossip.
But / began to write that even tn
! Youngest and fondest of husband
sometimes seem to 4hink that, as q ref
, utation of possible charge that the.
arc henpecked, they must be impollt
to their wives in public. 1 positivel
knew of an instance in which good
enough bridegroom of only a year
standing was so rude to his bride q
they were entering q street car that
sympathetic stranger offered to protec
her against the supposed aifront. Come
come, husbands, don't be afraid c
evincing your love. Have you neYe
noted the relative angles OF unmarrle
. and married couples as they are seate
side by side? In the former case tn
T girl is perpendicular, while the fello'
leans toward her at an angle OF nlnet
, degrees or so; but if they are welded
il Is the husband who is bolt upright
and the wife may tip to forty-fiye d.
+ grees for all the detection which b
: will condescend to make--O b. s
Cincinnati Enquirer.