davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24
"A LITTLE NONSENSE"

A mendicant approached West
chester man on the cars the other day
and said: "Dear sir, L have lost my
leg" to which the Westchester man re-
piled as he hurried away: ''My dear
friend, have not seen anything OF 1t. "
-WeStchester Local Nea0s. s
A shoemaker with one eye COM
planned that one of his lamps did not
burn. One of his shopmates, who is
genuine son of the Emerald Isle. with
astonishment exclaimed: "Faith, and
what do you want with taoo lamps? Ye
haven't but one eye!''-N 7. Ledger.
-"You forgot your umbrella this
morning and you were caught in a
heavy shower as you went to the bank,
said the cashiers wife to her husband.
"Yes, my dear" Didn't you feel
sorry?" mo, my dear; | felt as If !
was on my way to a party" "Eo
partyp'' Eyes, my love; was going
to the bank wet ''-Boston Courier.
Nose Schaumburg-'Dot schwal-
lowtail goat vas schoost splendid togo
dot barty to, and make mashes dose
Girls on Customer-"Yes, but one
of the tails of the coat is missing.
Schaumburg Never mind dot. For
dot tail What vas gone dot goat from,
I gives YOU for holdings bair OF India
rubber overshoes. ''-Teras Stftings.
Miss Roseleaf (who is trying to
force conversation )-"What DO you
suppose, Mr.. Van Noodle, makes our
hostess receptions SO invariably stu
pid?'' Mr.. Van Noodle-"Aw, weal1y,
| haven't a ghost of an ideaw." Miss
R.-"And all the other gentlemen are
yery much like you" Yes; that must
be the reason. .''-Harvard Lampoon
-"Why, old man, you don't say
you're most ninety-eight, and was born
and lived in Virginia and never saw
George Washington. Feeble old
darkey-.'Dot am er fac, boss, Il Sc an
hooss' ole man, an am too far gen IN
| this worl' to tell er lie. | nebber seed
/ Young George, but lor', sab, his poo
ole pran 'fadder an gran 'mudder yuse
to think err powerful sight OBJ me. =
N. Y. Sam.
old Lady Goodheart took up
.sxspaper the other day, and upon
| reading the caption making Bessemer
Steel,'F she threw down the vile sheet
and exclaimed: 1--WE no patience with
| the papers any more! You can't lind
thing in 'em that doesn't make your
| blood bile. Now, / don't s'pose thai
Bessemer had any notion OF steam
but they went to work and mace mn
do it. NV! my! what a wicked worio
this is. - Yonkers Gazette
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

WING to the great press of business at
Inuing aI the closing days of Congression-
:; session and the probable necessity for
snature to bills Immediately after pas
age PRESIDENT Arthur has been COM
peneu 10 reconsider his determination to
p'tend a. the New Orleans Exposition during
;, ..,eoruary. He hopes, however, to attend
.ae Exposition as private citizen after
sae expiration Of his official term.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24
THE NATIONAL TR1l-.
The Prospect ofthe Success of the Proposed
Measure Rather Misty, Owing to Vlgor-
Gus sOpposition-What the Effect Will Be.

The Prospect ofthe Success of the Proposed
Measure Rather Misty, Owing to Vlgor-
Gus Opposition-Whatt the Effect VIII BE.
ST. LOUIS, Mo-, January 10.
81 have given up all hope that the Ma
.onal Cattle Trail bill will get through
CC ngress," was said by Henry Warren,
one of the lobbying committee sent to
Washington by the Texas State Stock As
sociation He is at the Lindell Hotel re-
turning to Weatherford, Texas, his home.
sIt seems to me now that there is no
chance of the bills success"
"Why?" asked the reporter who has
been constantly informed that it was a
surety.
ssBecause we have had more to fight
against than the opposition OF Kansas and
the northwest. The eastern cattlemen
have also placed themselves in antagon-
ism to the bill, and it is dlsapproved OF
by others on the ground that its passage
would be against public policys as 1t al
fected the rights of actual settlers. This
is the ground taken, for instance, by
Senator Edmunds, with whom | had
talk before l left Washington, although
he said that he would make no active OBJ
lection to the bill. Our attempt to re-
concile
OUR KANSAS OPPONENTS
did not succeed, and am going home.
Ex-Congressman Upson, the other Texas
committeeman, will probably remain in
Washington"
"What will Texas do now, failing to
oct the trail?o
"Get rid of some of its breeding cattle
by railroad shipments, in order to reduce
the number of the stock which have been
kept for supply purposes. Next season
over 500, 900 COWS and immature cattle
will come to the east from the Texas
ranges. In consequence the market will
be glutted with cheap but poor beef"
The National Cattle Convention, which
met in st. Louis last November, passed
a resolution asking Congress to with
draw from settlement strip OF the pub
lie domain, six miles wide and $50 miles
long, extending from Red River on the
South to the Red River on the North, and
set it aside to be used as a Nation
al highway, over which the cattle
sold in Texas could be driven to their
Northern purchasers. The trail thus ask
ed for would contain 1850 square miles
or 2,6l1 200 acres of land In the con-
yention, Kansas announced that it would
resist the passage of the bill, and its ex-
ample has been followed by other States
since Congress convened. @
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24
XLvlIlTH CONGRESS.

THE Senate held only brief legislat We
session on the 18th. bill was introduced
for the relief of the Taliapoosa sufferers, and
another to increase the pension OF the widow
OF the late General Geo. ii. Thomas. There
was a long executive session, devoted prin !
cipally to the discussion of the Nfcaragu
treaty the House the McPherso n
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24
Butler Sues EIkins for Fulfllment OF
Agreement.

Agreement
-. NEW YORK, January 20.
B.F. Butler has begun suit in the United
States Circuit Court against Stephen b.
Elkins, to compel the latter to make q
deed conveying to the former 100000
acres of land, being part Of the Mora
grant in New Mexico. About February
1st, 1884, Butler agreed to purchase the
land at seventy-fve cents an acre provid-
ed the title was clear. He sent 0. d.
Borker to New Mexico, who examined the
titles and found part of them to be clear
and the balance clouded. Butler offered
$4,000 for the land despite these objec-
tions, which proposition was accepted oy
Elkins. Several deeus were drawn, but
all of these instruments were objection
able to one or the other of the princl-
pals. Butler asks that the Court compel
Elkins to make out proper deed, ana
meanwhile the defendant is enjoined ana
restrained from disposing OF any OF tne
property mentioned
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

MIR. TALLMADGE, the Milwaukee statis-
tclan on grain, has information that the
growing winter wheat is in most unfa-
Vorable condition, owing to the unseason-
able weather in the fall; and the promise
Tor fair outcome is not very fiattering.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

The effort to establish female collie ga
in Baltimore, Md, under the auspices of
the Methodist Episcopal Church, has so
far progressed that $135, 900 of the 5000 900
requisite is already subscribed. The indi :
cations are the remainder will soon be oh :
talned
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

CONSIDERABLE anxiety prevails in Cath
one circles over the alarming illness of the
rope, who is confined to his bed with fever
occasloned by severe attack of rheuma- :
tism. Grave fears are entertained lest the
attack prove fatal
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

lHE discovery of the bodies of four in.
an'S' ranging from the age of one to three
T' us buried near Big Rock Bridge,
arankiln' Pa, ON the 18th, created great
eAciteinent. The bodies were found in
-Ougn boxes, and one, at least, had been
recently buried.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

ADvICES from Panama are that an
alarming condition of affairs prevails in
the entire Republic, and a general war is
regarded imminent. War is already und er
way IN Cundinamarca, Boyaca, Santander
and Magdalena.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

THERE were 445 failures in the United
States reported to Bradstreet's during tn 9
seven days ended the 18th, against AIS in
the preceding week, and 81, 3lS and 21O in
the corresponding weeks of 1894, 1888 and
lSS2respectvely.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

ihe funeral of the late Hon. Schuy ler
LAX TOOK place at South Bend, Ind,
n 'ne lth. Trains were so much de-
a'ea oy the snow storm that many dis
ulshed citizens of Indiana did not
- aon south Bend in time to be present at
the obsequies.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

F,pr SPENCER, Lord Lieutenant OF Ire
,ond has prohibited the circulation OF the
,aa+ number of O'Donovan Rossa's paper,
received in Ireland.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

Az Anarchist plot was discoserea -
IONS. France, on the 15th by which
arms were to be seized and a revolution
declared.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

THE body Of the late Major Charles b.
- of 81. Louis, No., was cremated at
1ancsster. Pc, on the 18th, with Mase
bon0rs
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

FULLY three fourths of the 1900 en-
ployes of Sanford & Sons carpet mill at
Amsterdam, N. Y, returned to work on the
10Th, after thirty days strike, accepting
the reduction. Members of labor unions
were excluded.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

1hE ONCE of the Adams Express Com
pany' at Greenville, Conn, was robbed the
n' OF the l4th Of 500 in money, taken
D. po" lour c. O. D. envelopes. Frank w.
brewster, agent of the company, was ar
rested and made a confession. returned
t' tue money and gave bonds to appear for
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

THE King of Spain has conferred upon
Nine Christine Nilsson the Cross OF the
Royal Civil Order of Benehcence, as q
RECOGNITION of her deeds of charity.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

,vorHrR shock of earthquake was felt
.nronada. Spain, on the 18th, and caused
'a' . rsvi,l of the panic among the inhabie,
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

GENERAL. ROBERT MORTON BRINToN, the
"Hero of the Roundhouse," during the
Pittsburgh riots in 1871, died on the lotn
at his residence in Philadelphia, OF neu-
ralgia of the heart.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

THE Pennsylvania Senate on the l4tn,
adopted resolution requesting the Con-
gressmen from that State to use ther m
6uence to make the trade dollar legal
tender
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

THE town of Earling, Ia., was almost
wiped out by fire on the 10th. Ten busi-
ness houses, and the hotel and eating
house were destroyed. Loss, over $oo,ooo.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
News from Everywhere.

nprAp riot is threatened at Birming-
ham, Eng, by five thousand msn VINO are
ont of employment.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

THE House Committee on Military At
fairs on the 18th practically killed the
Edmunds bill passed by the Senate in
tended to place General Grant on the re-
tired list of the army.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

!, MORE earthquake shocks were felt on
the 14th in the provinces of Spain recently
shaken up. The storms continued, and
the suffering among the people reported as
terrible in the extreme.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

SUCH heavy snow-storms and frosts nave
recently preyailed in some of the Provinces
of Spain that the sugar cane crop is de-
stroyed, and orange and olive groves are
badly damaged.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

BISMARCK declared in speech on the
14th that the Government would require,
in order to meet the demands of farmers,
that the duty upon wheat be increased to
three times the present rate.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-01-24

THE extensive wire and steel manu- :
facturers, Oliver Bros. e. Phillips, of Pitts
burgh, Pa, have suspended, and asked for
an extension. The liabilities are roughly
estimated at between So, ,0OO, 900 and So, ,OOO,-
00O
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-07-31
Antipathies,

Some strange cases of antipathy are
are recorded in the lives of eminent men.
Erasmus was made feverish By the smell
of fish. Ambrose Parr had patient
who would faint at the sight of an eel,
and another who was convulfed on see-
ing a rarp. Gardan was Disguised at
the sight of eggs. A king Of Poland
and a secretary of France bled at the
nose when offered apples. A huntsmen
III Hanover, who would attack wild
bear valiantly, ran away or tainted when
ever roast pig was presented to his
view. A person is told OF who tainted
whenever he saw a rose, and similar
stories are told OF antlpathies to lilies
and honey. Tycho Brahe abhorred
foxes, Henry III. of France cats, mice,
spiders, etc., and Marshal d 'Albret pigs.
There was "once upon time" lady
who could not endure the sight of silk
or satin. The man who would faint
whenever he heard O. servant sweeping
is not so much of q stranger, and the
one who was similarly affected ty the
sound of bagpipe invites upiversal SYM
pathy. Boyle was overcome at hearing
the splashing Of water.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-07-31
Singular Conduct of a Horse.

\ physician possessed g. beautiful
bay mare called Jenny, remarka blefor
sweet temper and pretty loving ways.
She was a great favorite with the doc
tors daughters, and would "shake
hands" when asked, and kiss them in
the most engaging manner, with a sort
of nibbling motion OF her black ips up
and down the face She would follow
swer to hername like adog, and would
always salute any of her favo,ites On
seeing them with that low hummer
ing" sound socommon with pet horses,
but never from those subject to i'll
treatment. But with all these graces,
the pretty and interesting Jenny had
several puecliar nntipati,les, in one Of
which she somewhat resenbled a dog
Was, and chat was Il marked dislike
to the singing voice Of one particular
person, q lady, q relative OF the doc
tors. This lady often went to feed
Jenny with lettuce orapples, and they
where always the best Of friends; but
Sc sure as she began to sing anything
Jenny instantly forgot her good man
ners, lost all propriety and exhibited
the usual signs of strong equine dis
pleasure, although she never took the
smallest notice OF the singing or whist
ling of any other person, treating it APP
parently with indifference One day
as the doctor was driving this lady
out, he suggested, by way Of expert
naent, that she should begin to sing.
In q moment Jenny ears where down
fiat, and a great kick was delivered
with a hearty goodwill on the front Of
the carriage and more would doubt
; less have followed had not the lady
prudently stopped short in her vocal
efforts, when Jenny was herself again,
and resumed her usual good behavior.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-07-31
Beauty's the Thing.

From the Philadelphia Times.
The latest personal about Mrs. Lang
try is that she has just added $4,000
more to the sum invested by her in New
York real estate, thus swelling tho
amount to $135,O00. A few years ago
she was comparatively impecunious.
Her husband could not provide what
her tastes demanded, so she took to
trading in her beauty and now has lots
of money. Beauty is the thing. From
Helen of Troy to the Langtry, the wom-
an that has had beauty and was willing
to sell it has had no scarcity of money
FIR time. Beauty and advertising to-
gether could not give Mrs. Langtry tai
ent or modesty or refinement or any Of
those inward or outward adornments a
true woman prizes beyond beauty or
money. But why seek talent or modesty
when beauty may secure what these
could not?
With beauty and modesty Mrs. Lang
try can get all the admiration she wants,
all the fine clothes needed to show her
off. With beauty and money she can
hold the friendship Of titled people in
all parts of the world. Beauty's the
thing.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-07-31
Where Beauty Sleeps.

From q Late New York Letter.
Would you like to see how a New
York belle Of millionaireism sleeps? /
can crafty you SO far as to describe,
with literal exactness, the bedroom OF
a young woman whose name is printed
as often as any body's in the society re-
ports. I never saw a more beautiful,
cosy, in every way delightful place
than the sleeping-room of this young
princess of fashion-this eldest child Of
many millionaire. The wall paper
was pale gold, on faint slate color. The
gilt bedstead was pushed against q
square of pleited silk of q pale
gold, with slate-cloored silk bows
at the corners. just such another
square of plated silk rose to the cell
ing above the washstand. On that
were only pitcher, bowl, soap dish and
so on, because water is presumed to in
vite sewer gas, but all of the choicest
ware. A great sheet Of beveled lock-
ing glass, six feet high, swung on brass
rods above the floor IN one corner for
the young woman to see her whole at
tire in. She had also handsome fold
ing glass to reflect her ears, back hair
and neck. There was an open fire
place, besides the hot air register; a
dressing stand, laden with pretty toilet
boxes and bottles; an ivory clock like
blrd-cage, in which ivory canaries
thrilled sweetly as each hour began
easy chairs and rocking chair to match
the wall paper and furniture; pretty
little prie-tlieu for the young woman to
say her prayers upon as fashionably as
possible; and a wealth Of little elegan-
cies completing general effect that
was esquisite, dainty and inviting be-
yond computation. Opening out OF
this room the young millionairess had
another apartment where she wrote and
painted and worked" so to speak, but
| did not see it,
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-07-31
Too Much Gun.

Capt. Marsh, who, some years ago,
made q tour through Persia, Afghan
stan and other Mohammedan countries.
heard, while at Teheran, an amusing
story of the Shah Of Persia and his big
gun. The Shah, having heard much OF
the merits OF the Krupp gun, became
DESTROYS of possessing one, and applied
. to the Russian Legation to be allowed
, to get one Of these guns from Russia.
The Gear granted his request, and
sent one of the largest and heaviest
description-a three-hundred FOUNDER.
It was landed OF Enzeli, on the shore OF
theICaspian, by Russian man-of-war.
The Shah sent Il regiment to bring it
; up, but great was the difficulty of con-
veying an article of such ponderous
proportions over the Elburz Noun tains,
without proper appliances and skilful
direction.
After many months delay and great
waste of labor, it was brought into the
city in the state, and placed with the
! other guns.
On the day appointed for the trial
trip, so to speak, the whole court as
sembled, together with q vast crowd,
eager and curious TO see the new gun.
| The monster was fired. It happened
| to be placed so near one Of the city
gates that the conclusion knocked down
one of its blue nlinarets, and the Shot
travelled SO far along the plain that il
struck a mosque in a village five miles
away, and shattered it.
| The Shah, in dismay at the effects
produced, had the Crupp gun put away
! out of sight for fear Of more accidents,
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-07-31
A Glacier 500 Feet High.

The glaciers of Glacier Bay are the
largest in Alaska. Formed among the
higher crags Of Fairweather range,
they gradually deepen and widen as
they near the sea, and end at last in q
massive cliff OF solid ice, often measur-
ing 800 feet high and having width Of
several miles. The surface Of the gla-
ciers IS rough and billowy, resent bling
the waves Of 9 troubled ocean frozen in
to solid blocks Of ice at the moment Of
their widest gambols. Constantly
pressed forward BY the heavy blocks Of
ice that gradually slide down the noun
tain rayines, the great frozen river
keeps pressing seaward until the action
Of the waves crumb les away gigantic
cakes chat fall away with q noise like
the booming Of cannon, and with 8
force which sends columns az water
high into Tie (,ofrespo snee
Boston Alvertiser
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-07-31
'sCrossest Man in Alabama. Z.


'.De crossest man In, Alabama lives
dar, said the driver as we approach
ed wayside home. near Selma, Ala,
to ask accommod ations for the night.
at supper, and after it, mine host
scowled at every one, found fault with
every thing earthly and was wonder
ing if he would not growl If the heaven
" halo didn't fit him, when incidental
mention being made of the comet of
1882, he said: II didn'tlik it's form,
it's tail should have been fan-shaped!'
But, next morning, he appeared hall
offended at our Offering pay for his hos
pitality! My companion, however,
made him accept as a present a sam
pie from his case Of goods.
Six weeks later, I drew up at the
same house. The planter stepped
]ithely from the porch, and greeted me
cordially. / could scarcely believe
that this clear complexioned, bright
eyed, animated fellow, and the mo-
rose being OF q few weeks back, were
the same. He inquired afte> my com.
panlon OF the former visit and. regret
ted he was not with me. eyes," said
his wife, 1--WE are BOTH much indebted
T. to him."
"How?" I asked, in surprise.
For this wonderful change in my
husband. Your friend when leaving
handed him a bottle of Warmers safe
cure. He took it, and two other bot.
ties, and now" "And now" hebroke
in, "from an ill-feeling, growing ole
bear, am healthy and SO cheerful my
wife declares she has fallen inlove with
me again!''
1t has made over again q thousand
love matches, and keeps sweet the
tenlpers hefamily circle everywhere
--Copyrighted. Used by permission o
American luralHolne.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1885-07-31
Love in the Wiregrass.

There is any amount OF fun in court
ing a. young girl who has not been used
to it.. She swallows all the soft things
q fellow says, but when it comes to,
popping the question, or something of
that kind, shegets frightened more or
less and wants time to consider until
there are enough loop-holes for her
lover to slip out through without the
least bit OF trouble, il he happens to
see some one he thinks he could love q
shade or two better. Young girls are
timid and shy in earnest, and if a fellow
is not pretty certain he has found pre-
cisely the angelic looked for, he can
manage so as to have the refusal OF
her for q year OF more, and at the
same time manage to keep his neck out
of the reach Of a, breach ofpromise suit
when he happens to meet some other
sweet~faced angel that seems to him
to be better suited to his taste.
It is different with a widow. She
gets rid Of all her shyness at the con-
venient opportunity, and finds out the
! principal things she desires to know OF
him before she allows him to get &C
| Quainted. The school girl of l6 trusts
herself to any young fellow on sixty or
ninety days sight without security,
but the widow, like a. thrifty wholesale
house, goes out and examines the mer-
camille reports concerning him, and
! then sells to him on her own terms for
cash, She has him sized up before he
comes to market, and when she looks
as II she were q very artless creature.
and fights shy of him whenever he hap
pens to sit a little close to her on the
sofa, there are ten chances to one that
he will never look any further, but
Will buckle right up to her and put
the questions fairly and square]y, and
when he has done 50 she is not going
to tremble and blush and ask for a
week or month in which to make up
her mind. She will just wind her arms
around his neck and look mp into his
face without one of Ella Wheeler fiery
yarns, and before he has had time to
catch his breath he will find himself
nailed to the cross with a ''yea' that
pierces him to his very soul.-Hawk-
! insville (Ga) News.