davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mohave County miner., 1885-01-11

eDont, It shoaLi revert to tho signatuns Of
the voters fes oorrsation. The Law have
proposed would have that eject.
The great o,jsGtion 10 the proposed Law
would Be that I. intsrferes with the privacy
Of the people, who, BY all Of natures laws.
are inciinsd i, sct in secrst, and In order TO
sptsia tie sseEsoy Of their own acts thsy
sre ~iiIiaS teast others 10 'Iiksviss. This
secret rule tie devil loves. II assists him
70 rule the u.gabondish. thiSvin9. idisl nnd
banning class Of politicians 70 - the
public moneJ to carry ont their sel6sh ends
a. the folHsing essetion e1pensss will
show. Take the cosr Of the present regis
trstion lsv in fvs of tbs counties Of Ari-
xons, viz: Gala. Graham. Yuma. Yssapai
and Aohays. The aggregate names on the
QfAt l.sGs ssess Are s79e, scses poilsd 5o6s,
sosf o. rsEsts6tioa and Crest EKsststsrs
ess2s.06. The registers show 17ot Nance
more than the p,ii lists, making sn snpsnss
Of littls over e17oi for names not vstsd.
II h usfes,aaSis y suppose that ssss ssvs
more atten tion 70 having their names on
inc m shsil IL irsaehiss. III lset of ftks
case is that registering ofiosrs and their
Asputiss sSdn.pss y tho iht, .ad s.ts .
private List Of the same 70 be ussd sn cleo
sion day for the bsnsHt Of rspeatsFs. SID
other illegal voting and making the people
pay the s1psnsss Of THAR frssds!' Tsy
also manage to get Irregularities in shs 70
! turns of election in order 70 hsvs contested
sasss, tbs people puttina up for their u,
psssss; and vhsu thess oasss rsAeh Csn.
grsss they COST the people millions Of dol
lars. Tho oauss Of this 10 the zssssvsd
rights Of ma to dsosivs tbs,r fellow men men
The most anusing thing chat hsSs beard
on this subisst rs, that IN all b,'r'reorn
Mohave County miner., 1885-01-11


fsssisp osSrN a rshis Tsrntssy, ~ pre-
ssntstion Of . esssiHeaas Of sdmission bs
fore tho district court At Chsmbessbprg
fSSansy4vs4xSf 7e0gB7 30@~hM 'of
Ssssesa eswtefs lrl-r>#. ut'..t1~a:ooE
Bat fs~r sdinins eist,ss wsss ssiDsatsd
Fso muoh no~. ~ d.. r' .. .s'n )
The 0AA sivs u up. Mails sss essStsk
seross j. ~ skiar q .a,t~-z
! sssthvsstssa Sssskasa.
| Ths Des Cshezas min oonnsnosd fun
ming last Wednesday, and lends quite al
important business air to the little minias
esmp.
Tbs mill st Dos CsbssAs ahnt down thi'
vssk, IL bsizg iznpossibls 70 hsul ore from
The mines on aSeoant Of the reosnt hesvy
fall Of snov.
s-.. Co. jI'iL. biz 10 W
From the appearance Of the White noun
tain, farmers irrieatiAg from streams to
from that mountain, pssd not fear 70
water the coming year ~ there is an sbnn
dano. Of snov already fallen and prospsot
for more. ...i.- -.'.G e. y
Silver ssH. s'sss.
Ths mines and snsitss Of the Ian Carlo
Copper company, which were shut dow
during the ressnt heavy rain, hsve rsssips
and viii, itis s1psosed, ooutinse 10 run
They have about . months supply Of sok
on hand. The company have taken . d
months working bond on six claims ovne
by JACOB Sohnsidsr. situstsd sbout q,
miles froa thsir works. The eonsidsrstio
, h 5000. WORK has bssn begun on sover'
| of ths claims and ore 10 bsing psoked o
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
STANLEY,

one OF the best bred Trottiug horses in this part
of the state, viii make the season as follows.
Monday and Tuesday at G. d. RaWleigh's farm
one mile west of Yellowstone.
Wednesday and Thursday a. Joseph Hooking s
Dodgevile.
Friday and Saturday at home, Mineral Point
Stanley is a brown in color, l534 hands high;
weighs 1900 pounds; is a nice driver, produces
fine colts OF good size and good shoppers.
He is the sire of John &, who Won the green
race at DodgeYille last September, and second in
free for all, as a three year old and could have
trotted ten seconds faster If necessary; and the
sire of q colt owned at Chicago by Mr.. GOodsell,
which tTotted last fall as five year old in 232l2,
and has trotted on Mineral Point track in pa
himself after busy season and three weeks
handling.
PEDIGREE.-stanley was sired by Homer by
Rysedike's HambletOnian, he by Abhallah; Alb
dallah by Mcmbrino Membrino by imported
Messenger SANKEY'S dam Bessie, was sired by
Wcbbers Kentucky Whip by Blackburns whip,
son Of imported Whip dam daughter Of Ken
lucky Hunter, from which Flora Temple de-
Cended,
stanley was bred by Ar. Henry Cox, Little
Neck. Long Island, n. Y; was brought TO Min
eral Point May 20 1917.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
New Charge Against Roller-Skating

A stylish-dressed young lady, whose
features were concealed by thick veil,
entered the downtown office of a
prominent physician yesterday after
noon and, with some show of nervous
ness, requested an audience with him.
The doctor led the way into his private
office, and the fair patient removed her
veil, remarking as she did so, Il wish
you would tell me what is the matter
with my face. "
In the dimly-lighted room the physi-
clan was unable to discover that any
thing was wrong Stepping to the
window the lady said, pointing to the
roguish dimples that Nature has placed
on checks and chin and the little creas-
es about the corners of her eyes: 'Do
you see that? My face looks as though
| had been working in coal-mine. ="
Closer inspection showed the physician
that the dimples and creases as well as
The larger pores in the lady's face were
Tiled with a dark, grimy substance. 81
have scrubbed and worked at that UNI
I'll Fam tired, but cannot remove it. i
am satisfied it is not dirt, she con-
tinued, evidently Judging from the
physicians look that he was about to
tell her to take bath.
Il understand remarked the doc
tor, with a smile; 1.-THE roller-rink
again. "
what do you mean?" she asked in a
troubled tone.
Nothing but roller-rink dust. That
IS ALL 1t is nothing serious. Try soap
aud water again and use this solution
before retiring ut night, and your com
plexion VIII be all right again.
20, l am so glad, " the lady re.
marked, as she adjusted her veil and
departed.
That is the latest feature Of the roll
er-skating craze, remarked the ply
ftcian to a reporter who had overheard
the conversation with some amusement.
That is the second lady who has been
TO see me with a similar complaint
within a week.
what is the cause Of ftp"
Why, you see, the dust that rises
from the floor Of the rink is very fine
aud penetrating, and when it settles
on the skin, dampened with perspira-
non. it at once finds it way into the
pore ''- Cleg fond Lcadlr.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
JOHN G..

Will be kept at my stable. VIII be put in train
ing. and will serve q few mares by season for SIS
each with privilege Of returning next season II
not proving with f0Gl
John G is a bay, Of black points-no white viii
be four years old In June is the fastest colt ever
raised In Iowa county; win weigh 100 pounds at
maturity We confidently expect linn TO trot
this season in go or better. is full brother to
George NJ who can trot TO wagon IN minutes,
and 10 Lady r, who IS breaking 20 harness and
can show 3.15 gait. All escapes at owners risk.
PEpIGRER.--John was sired by Stanley, he By
Homer he by Rysedike's Hambietoniani ist dam
KITTY gray pacing mare, sired BY Lexington; ed
dam gray pacing mare sired by Bulrush Morgan,
~ dam inc road mare noted as a fine driver
pedigree not traced.
Season ia end Iuly 15 1879.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
CHICAGO,
MILWAUKEE,
& ST PAUL
RAILWAY COMPANY

owns and operates nearly 5000 miles Of thor.
oughly equipped road in Illinois, Wisconsin,
Iowa. Minnesota and Dakota.
It's the Short Line and Best Route
between an principal points tn the
Northwest and far West.
For maps, time tables, rates of passage and
freight. ect., apply to the nearest station agent
Of the CHICAGO, MILWAUKEE ST, PAUL Rail-
wAY.or 10 any Railroad Agent anywhere in the
United States or Canada.
s. S. MERRIL, A. Y. II. CARPEEIEE,
Gent Manager. Gent Pass. & Ticket Ag't
MnwAUKEE, WIscoNsIS.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18

f-z~For notices in reference to Special Excur
sions. changes Of tie, and other items Interest
ii connection with the CHICAGO, MILWAUKEE &
ST. PAUL RAILWAY, please refer p the local
coluns Of this paper.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18

Avoid a drunken man; he may get
you into d quarrel. Avoid the same
man when be is sober he may get you
aGUak.-NeV orleans PicuyuHe.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18

physician AND SURGEON In Len
| shans block up stairs first door to left. Resi-
dence first door west from NJ 3. Church, Mineral
Point. VS..
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
TO HORSEMEN
PAPL.IN

This stallion win make the season at owners
stables, Mineral Point, Wis.
Paplin is a dark iron gray seven years old
Norman drafy horse, sired by imported Paplin;
lst dam by Success; ID dam by Medoc; Sd dam
a cross Of Morgan Paplin weighs 1900 pounds;
is OF kind disposition, and has good action for a
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
wm. TREWEEK.

For further Information and terms enquire d
@. d. Rawleigh or Of VIM. Treweek Mineral
PoiRt, Wis. Lett
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
bal mn pnIfer.nn. M. n.
l. LII. Vivian. NJ. ID.

nFFICF opposite Pulford's Drug Store, High ST..
\ 1Hosrs from to l0s. N. and to 8 p. m: Ia
eLhce NIGHTS. 33tI
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18

DENTISTRY.
j. NJ. EIales, ID. ID =.

4, RADUATE Of Pennsylvania College Of Dental
] Surgery, Philadelphia, Pa. Dental rooms In
Coad's corner block, Mineral Point. Wis.
NITROUS OXIDE administered Tor the painless ex-
traction Of teeth
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
W. Eastman, VI. ID,

physician AND SURGEON, Mineral Point, Wis
L Onice In drug store
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18

PHYSICIAN ARD SURGEON, Mineral Point Wis.
Once IN Graber's block. Night calls answered
at office Office hours, II 20 70 A. NJ. and to +.
NJ. Saturdays. at home all day
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
J. III. Wtngender.
CHURCH SOCIETIES.

PRIMITIVE METHODIST. C. DAWSON, Pastor.
Sunday services at 1880, A. NJ. and 700, p. NJ.
Sunday School at2:00 7. NJ. Prayer meetings
on Mondays and Thursdays at ZOO, p. NJ.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18

ST. PAUL'S Irish .........J. O'KEEFE, Pastor
Sunday services. High Mass at 10000, AN.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
.IrTORNETS
John a. Jones,
,YIIsnn s. McIIhon

4 TTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR, Dodgeyille, Wis
n VIII practice ia all the courts # this State, ex-
cept Che Iowa County (probate) Court,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
County 0mcers.
The Tribune Directory.
PHYSICIANS,
u PnrnnleN. MD.


| | oMEOpATuIC PHYSICIAN AND SURG EoN,
! | otco at the residence Of Joseph ParmleY, Mii'
fin, Wis Once hoprs to II a. IN, AID TO p. m.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
n. y. MIN, VI. d.

/ I OMEOPATnIC PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
! Minersl Point Wis An calls In city or coun
Try answered promptly. day or night.
Ofiice over Allen n Sons store, opposite City Halt
Hours 10 I2-l TO a. 6to S Sundays 20 l.
Residence, FIRST house west Of Mrs, VIM, T. henry's
hlu
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18
CIVIC SOCIETIES.

HUDSON ENCAMPMENT, No. 80, 10. OF;
| | meets the "a and 4th Tuesdays of each
month. Patiiarchs visiting the city are invited
s. g. THOMAS N. TREwEEK.
Scribe. Chief Patriarch.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-06-18

4 TT0RNEYs AND COUNSELLORS Office II
"A City Bank Mineral Point Wisconsin.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
He " as Unfortunate.

A venerable old tramp entered an
Austin business house and said to
the proprietor:
Il am the most unfortunate man
in the world. Please do something
for me-"
81 don't know who you are," re-
piled the merchant. "You may be
an impostor,"
Here is certificate from Parson
Jordan, of Galveston, that / am .
hard-working, honest man, who has
been unfortunate"
"A certificate from Parson Jordan,
OF Galveston ?" asked the merchant.
"1es, sir here it ia replied the
mendicant, handing the merchant a
paper. The merchant looked at the
paper and said:
"ParsOn Jordan, of Galveston is
my brother. I know his signature
very well, and his signature on that
certificate is forged"
Just as | expected" whined the
mendicant- II told you | was the
most unfortunate man in the world.
Jus. think OF me coming the brother
Of Parson Jordan, of all the people
in the to@n, and showing him that
forged certificate, when there is not
another man in Austin who knows
his signature.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
HIS Looks Deceived.

He did not look like a Joker. One
to look at him would have said his
soul was so lost in thought that he
did not care two cents whether the
sun sets at noon or at ten o'clock.
He entered the ladies' sitting-room
at the railway station New York J,
walked up to a woman whose hus-
band had gone out about ten minutes
previously, and calmly inquired
"Your husband went out to see
the river, didn't he?n
"Yes." she replied, turning rather
pale.
He was a tall man, wasn't hep
"He was" she replied, rising up
and turning still paler.
Had red hair, hadn't be-"
He had; oh, what has happen
ed ?"
Couldn't swim could he?
No! My husband is drowned :
My husband is drowned ~ she
cried.
Had on a silver watch chain ?n
continued the stranger.
''Oh, my husband where is the
body ?" she grasped.
"Do not excite yourself. my dear
madam. Did your husband have on
a gray suit ?"
Dear Thomas my Thomasi let
me see him ~ she cried.
"Come this way, madam, but do
not excited. Is that your husband
across the street at the peanut
stall ?''
yes that's him that's my hus-
band she exclaimed joyfully. "But
you said he was drowned"
mo, madam | didn't but | saw
him buying peanuts, and 1 believe
it nv duty to inform you they are
not healthy at this season of the
year"
He walked away. and she stood
there and bit her parasol and stared
after him like a managerie on
wheels.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
City and County.

Real estate agent say that there il
general inquiry after small farms to
purchase by persons who reside in
the city who desire to move to the
country as the better meansfor max
ing living where work is plenty
and wages are good. The city is a
desirable place to live for those
who have living to make by man
ual labor, but in times like the pre-
sent, 'Ehen so many people are out
of employment, the miEd instinc-
lively turns to the country, where if
man has but few acres of land
and hovse to live in he can make
hlnselfand family secure from want.
If a man nova. days owns a little
farm often acres, not to heavy mort
gagged, be can make a comfortable
living from it for a goodsized family.
On that land be can keep a horse
and COW, two or three pigs, poultry
in abundance, besides raise vegeta-
bles, corn and wheat enough for use,
and have some to spare. A man in
this condition may not grow rich
very rapidly, but he is at least indie
pendent and need never be distress
ed about where the next meal is to
come from.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
Society Note.

An old bachelor, who lives in the
suburbs of Austin, hires q colored
man of about eighteen to clean up
his room, fill the lamp, and perform
like services. A few days ago the
colOred domestic, Who had been US
ing his employers olacking, said:
Boss, our blackin' am done out. ~
What do you mean ?" growls the
sordid employer: everything be-
longs to me, and nothing belongs to
you. ] want you to understand that
nothing belongs to you"
The terrified darkey promised to
comply with the request. On the
following Sunday the boss happen
ed to meet the colored mehial, ac-
complished by a chocolate colored
female pushing baby carriage.
"Was that your baby in that car
riage?' he asked next day. quite a
number of bis friends being present.
"No. .boss.dat's not our chile; dat's
your chile, Use nebber gwine 70
to say muffin belongs to me no
moab"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
They Won't Stand IL.

Yes, come in after a hired man,
said the old farmer. as be slipped his
root beer on the market yesterday,
"but I've got disgusted and shan't
cry very hard to find one"
What's the matter with the hired
men"
TOO high toned and important.
"Why, had one last spring who
rigged up an umbrella over the pillow
so as not to get tanned, and be re-
fused to eat with the family because
we stuck our knives in our mouths.
At the end of the week he quit. He
said that labor was ennobling and
so forth, but the landscape in that
vicinity offended bis taste"
YES"
wall, | took on another, and he
put on cuffs and polished his boots
before going to work, and he quit at
the end OF fortnight because we
didn't have q pianner in the house
Why, that chap never got up till Z
o'clock, and he insisted on going to
the village to get tshaved and perfum.
ed up every evening.
THE third one quit me yesterday.
He wanted stained glass in his bed
room windows. He wanted me to
buy him a guitar. He wanted me
to paint ali the roofs red and put
pea green on the corncribs. He sug-
gested a hog pen with a pa-lor to it,
and he spent two days Of my time
trying to arrange a way for the
windmill to milk the COWS. | dis
covered him writing poetry in the
corn field, and because spoke up
sharply he quit the job, polished up
his boots and sent for a coupe to
bring him to the city"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
A Mothers Tact.

The mother was sewing busily,
and Josie, sitting on the carpet be,
side her, and provided with doll
rounded scissors and some old magi-
zines. was just as busily cutting out
pictures.
1T would litter the carpet" so
said Aunt Martha, who had come
In for a coy chat Mamma knew
this but she knew that a few min
utes would make all right again and
Josie was happy.
All went wei! until the little boy
foundithat he had cut off the leg Of
a horse that he had considered a
marvel beauty. 1t was real disap-
pointment and grief to the little
one.
Mamma, seel" and, half crying,
he held it up.
"Play he's holding up one foot, !"
the mother said quickly.
'Do real horses, mamma?n
"Oh, yes. sometimes
II will, and sunshine chased
away the cloud thatin another min
ute would have rained down.
1t was little thing, the mothers
answer but the quick sympathy,
the ready tact, made all right. The
boy IS heart was comforted, and he
went on with no jar on the nerves or
temper, and auntie's call lost none
of its pleasantness.
81 am tired cutting pieces, man.
ma, said, Josie after while.
well, get your horse, wagon, and
play those bits of paper are wood
and you are going to bring me a
load. Draw it over to that corner
by the fire and put them into the
kindling box play that's the wood
house"
Pleased and proud, the little team
ster drew load after load until the
papers were all picked up, without
his ever thinking that he was doing
anything but play Christian
World.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
The Client Appearing for His Counsel.

A good story is told of famous
lawyer of the Essex Bar, well-known
as a politician. and even better as a
wit. He was in early days defend
ing man charged with illegally
selling liquor, and the facts were all
against him. The prosecution prov
ed the sale of a pint of whisky, aud
found that be charged an extra price
for it, saying it was Saturday night
and that was the last drop OF whis-
Ky he had in the house. The poor
prisoner seemed to have no witness
es and no friends. and be stood there
bloated and boozy, the picture of
dissipation aud degradation. The
Squire was. however, equal to the
occasion. Turning to the jury he
said: Gentlemen fthe jury, | shall
detain YOU but minute. Prisoner,
look upon the jury jurors, look up
on the prisoner. That is ali. Now
gentlemen, if you can say as homes,
men that after looking at my client
you believe he is man who would
sell the last pint of whisky that be
had in the house, why, then, convict
him !" There might have been a
flaw in the argument, but the jury
acquitted the prisoner.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16

Two curious cases of superstition
are reported from Russia. The 9TH
er day a coffin was seen floating in
the Dulester. 1t was brought ashore
and found to contain the corpse of a
man whose feet had been cut off.
A peasant explained the case as foi-
lows: His uncle having died some
time previously, several peasants
claimed to have seen his ghost walk
ing about, and an old woman pre-
dicted that there would be no rain
while the corpse remained in the
cemetery. So it was dug out, the
feet cut off to prevent the ghost from
walking about. and the coffin set
adrift on the river. The second case
shows that the belief In witchcfaft
still exists. A great drought in
Chersson was attributed to the evil
agency of two women who were re-
earded as witches. They were Off
cially called upon to produce rain by
June II, and when this failed they
were ducked in the river. The
aswitches seemed to enjoy this, and
remarked that now they would re-
fuse rain altogether. This raised
such q disturbance among the popu-
lace that the women had to be pro.
tected BY the police.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
The roor Mans Chance.

Here is Burdette's little sermon on
the comparative chances of the poor
and rich: MY son, the poor man
takes about all the chances without
waiting to have one given to him.
If you give him any more chances
than he takes, ne will soon run the
Ohio man out of the country. The
fact is, We must curtail the poor
mans chances little. We must sit
down on him and hold him down,
and give the rich man a chance.
But for the poor man this world
would have cast anchor 5000 years
ago, and be covered with moss and
barnacles to-day like a United States
man-of-war. George Peabody was
a boy in a grocery Edgar Allen
Poe was the son of q strolling play
er; John Adams was the son OF q
farmer; Benjamin Franklin, the
printer, was the son of q tallow
chandler the father of Shakespeare
couldn't spell and couldn't write his
own name-neither can you; even
his illustrious son couldn't spell it
twice alike; Robert Burns was a
child of poverty; Milton was the son
of a scrivener Andrew Jackson was
the son OF poor lrishmsn Grant
was a tanner; Lincoln keel boat
man, and common farm hand, and
the Prince of Wales is the son of a
queen. 1t is his misfortune, not his
fault he couldn't help it, and be
can't help it now. But you see, my
dear boy, that's all there is o. him !;
he's just the Prince of Wales, and
he's only that because be can't help
it. Be thankful, my son, that you
weren't born a prince; be glad that
you didn't strike twelve the first
time. If there is a patch on your
knee or your elbows are glossy, there
is some hopes for you, but never let
me again hear you say that the poor
man has no chance. True. a poor
lawyer, poor doctor, poor printer,
a poor workman of and kind, has
no chance; he deserves to have
none; but the poor man monopoliz-
es about all the chances there are.
Put Laban and Jacob in business
together anywhere, and in about
fourteen years Jacob will not only
own about four-fifths of the cattle,
but he will have married about one
half his partners family. Go to, my
son, let US give the rich man a
chance"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-09-16
A Straight Verdict

A coroner's jury returned a verdict
to the effect that a certain promi-
nent citizen had died of alcoholism.
"Your verdict Is absurd, some
one said to the coroner.
"Wby ?"
Because be was never known to
drink"
That's a fact"
ale never went into a saloon"
"You are right"
Then why do you say ne died
from the effects Of alcoholism, when
we know he was shot?"
That's ell very true replied the
coroner, "but the man who shot
him was drunk. Don't talk to me,
if you please. / understand my
business. Deceased was killed by
whiskey."