Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-05-19
SOME MALE VANITY.
philosopher of n ''NOtiOnr shop
PH' DiscOHrseS Thereon.

f,vbo buvs them?" asked an Alta re-
in q Kearny-street notion shop.
polIttii, 70 a lot of tiny pocket mirrors,
P PSjtb nail-cleaners, toothpick and comb,
all &c GV s,Ipnose YOU think the ladies are our
- ""nsfomers." said the motion" man,
l beSS Ais + IS not so. Men, sir-vain men
n pu fbe pickers-up OF these unconsidered
irl llppatty men?" inquired the reporter.
Tho salesman grinned. 1T don't
I L much how they look" he said
l llnrbether they are apes or Apollos; they
WI nocket mirror, all the same. They
W. a. aTerv hour or SO to some secret
IT T.no N admire themselves. Talk of the
P"S;tt ,, of women! Indeed 1t pales, sir !;
."n,ie away into insignifcance by com
n,r;son with the admiration the majority
ppfmen have for their own mugs"
u could YOU mention-not for publica-
- Of course, but for individual satisfac-
ttiiOOn r, names of some of these pur-
Chasers. -, .r
MD not give away the secrets of my
SU y;son-house," he said, solemnly. 81
ps,, trust a newspaper man, and in the
nrosnrt regard | hold the confidence
hose gentlemen have reposed in me as
sacred Why, there are some half a
Snzan who. entertaining a great respect
S,r my critical Judgment of physical
baorty. step in here every day to inquire
how they are looking. Then it is, Am l
noIe to-day, jim" or DO you think my
roIor is too high, Jim?' or That left eve
Irow is growing a triie heavy; don't you
tbink I'd better have it trimmed off a
mo- Ii l say your color is too high, my
iIend is off to the BARRIERS for dab of
nowder. or-but this is a dead secret
No accommodate him in this shop. If
he is too pale, we tinge. him up. It's
wonderful positively wonderful. Now,
tbe ugliest men are the toughest. Ii
there IS the slightest blemish in q pocket
mirror, they won't take it, because, for
sooth, it may not faithfully reproduce
their bright, pearl beauty"
"But there are different degrees Of
vanity among these male beauties, are
there not?''
"No, sir; there is but one degree and
that is the superlative, but there are
different degrees of candor. Some are
modest. and will declare that their
moustaches or beard are always getting
tangled. Now there's q gOod-looking
blonde railroad agent on Montgomery
street who bought six by four mirror
from me the other day which he keeps in
his breast pocket. He is a glutton about
his personal beauty, he is; but a real
estate man, a fair, stout young person,
whose office is near him, has found out
that he has this glass and begs the loan
Of it dozen times a day"
Then, as a matter of fact, you have
more customers among gentlemen for
those pretty little articles than among
the other seX?'
Five to one, sir; the percentage OF
those who carry pocket-mirrors is small
among ladies', but eight out OF every
dozen men have one slowed away in the
rest pocket. Why" continued the no
lion man, "some big, Sinking fellows
4 t1siness men-have come in here and
sked me If | could teach them how to
Alsh. Just think OF it. Fellows in the
ties, sir, who have not known blush
twenty wears. Believe it would be
~ lDulllS 10 lIleIn II tIcy COuld hush UP
n. Re moss rose when a girl glances at
hem. The ancient rounder got hold OF
j he secret and made all the rest hopping
mad to learn it. You won't give 1t away
Veil, when he wanted to blush he'd jab
spin into his leg and keep his mouth
shut"
What did the mouth have to do with
it,"
Because the pin would make him fee
ike swearing, and keeping back the
Gasphemy was the effort that sua'used
his cheek. That's the true business
shelp me. Do you want to look at any
nice pocket-combs to-day? No. Then
excuse me, for here's dude that does
and the philosopher resumed his PROBES
sional air, and advanced on the customer
with interlaced fingers and captivating
mile-S. f. Alta.