Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-02-28
NM RIbs CRACKED
Clara Bellies Amusing Story About q
Youn0 Lover.

Young Lover.
What fools men are about the feminine
dress and toggeryI know pair Of sweet
hearts who have for several weeks been on
| hugging terms; that is to say, when they
meet or part-and the conditions are favora-
ble-the kiss of decorous love is accompanied
| by momentary enlightenment Of the girl by
his arms.
81 noticed, soon after this sort of thing be-
gam" she said in strict confidence to me-"
"that after each brief squeeze he became very
serious; and at length he inquired about my
health. He is medical student, you know,
and has learned something about anatomy,
| suppose. Well, at length he got earnestly
| sOlicitOus as to my bOnes-wanted to know il
l felt nothing the matter with my ribs or col
lar bone.
"'What on earth are you driving atT I
finally demanded. Isn't my skeleton all
4 trust so, but feel afraid not he sob
erly replied. Every time hug you | feel
strange displacementSf your ribs, and some
were dislOcated.'
"He went of with his brow corrugated,
and I'll bet he spent half the night studying
the books for a solution Of the mystery:
| What was it? Why, am wearing new, stiff
a and when h the S anS
now he Ii delighted by the absence Of the
alarming symptoms" CLARA BELLE.
A SkillfuI Prsfesssr.
"Ah, hah p exclaimed Prof. Mayorhohf
looking up from book and turning to
his wife. = =
"What have you found, dear'"
"Iastep 10 this from Horace Greeley:
L am fully persuaded that if chopping
wood were universal, rheumatism and
dyspepsia would be unknown"
"Well, what of that?" asked Mrs.
MayOrhof.
"What of it? Why, l shall chop wood,
that's what there is Of it,"
did you ever chop wood''
"Did ever chop wood? Haven't l
been editor of the Woodman for years?
Didn't my article, How to Clear up New
Ground create sensation? Of course
it did. Jane, swear that sometimes 1
believe you are blind. Did l ever chop
wood, indeed! l have just ordered
cord of hard oak wood and shall chop
it myself. Aside from the healthful eI-
ereise, it will save money. l shall order
an axe to be sent up just as soon as 90
down town."
When the professor returned at din
ner time, he asked if the axe had como.
"Yes, it's out there on the porch"
well, l sha 60 to work at once"
II hope so. We are needing some
now. for the weather has turned awfsl
cold" ~
"Don'tfret. You shall have all the
wood you want"
The professor went out and after labor
ing three hours, brought in two small
sticks that looked as though they had
been gnawed in two.
This enough?"
Enough the mischief! It's not enough
to start fire."
The professor pulled and "blowed"
awhile, and then went out again.
Three hours later he came in again
with three more sticks.
''This dor" =
''Of course it won't. Well have snow
before morning."
"Snowp he exclaimed, wiping his
reeking brow.
eyes, snow"
"Well, / don't care if it falls fifty feet
deep, i am not going to chop any more
to-day. Needn't expect man to kill
himself just because we are going to have
snow"
Just then a rap came at the door.
"Come in" called the professor, too
tired to get up. "What have you got
tbere?"
axe from tie hardware store. Made
a mistake before and sent you grub
bling hoe" --- a..
Mrs. Mayorhoff shouted and the pro-
lessor collapsed. Arkansaw Traveller.