The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-04-08
A Mouse In the Room.


mousei what are we going to dof"
81 should Judge from the width Of
your mouth that one of us was going to
sat himr' replied Mr.. Spoopendyke,
springing from his chair and erasping
his cane. Where is hep Show him
to MEL and Mr.. Spoopendyke ratified
around under the bed with his stick
and then charged on the table. "Hav-
en't ye got any more arms you can
stick out in different directions so as to
give the approximate locality Of that
mouseP'
There he isr' yelled Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, turning her face to the corner
and making desperate effort to climb
up the wall Don't you see himp
Look out! He'll bite, ,you!''
'H you can tell his sex from Whers
you stand, he must be close by or dod-
gasted big!' growled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, glaring around the room and
waving his cane on high. Come
down off the parapet Of this castle and
lead me against the enemy, viii YEP or
have got to go out and borrow q di-
rectory TO find himP Where'd yon see
any mouse, anyhow
''Anyhow!" squealed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, looking around cautiously and
then springing into q chair. Call .
| policeman! Don't go near him! Wen
all be murdered in our bedsi"
''Look herem roared Mr. Spoopen-
dyke, who had added boot to his ar
mament. ''Let me smell your brsxth.
What have you been drinking latelyl
Going to give me some adequate idea
Of the haunts of that mousep Where Is
he?' and Mr.. Spoopendyke whirled
around and smote right and left with
his implements. HAS he got . door.
plate on hisresidence to indicate where
he livesP Going to sit up in that chair
| like frog on float until that mouse
issues cards to show where he trans
acts his businessP II ye can't talk out
his geography, point your measly I'm
ger at him, will YEP"
Cant you see hima" gurgled Mrs.
Spoopendyke, to whose distorted lmag-
ination the mouse filled the whole room
and Tapped over There he IL! Ow-
WV! Here he comes! There he goes!
Whe-e-e-e!
Mr.. Spoopendyke made q mnge in
the direction indicated by his Wife's
stony glare of horror, got the cane be-
tween his legs and rolled tumultuously
in the closet.
'.Do give the impression Of having
got him?" he yelled, as he looked out
and saw his wife sliding up the back of
the chair, like reversed avalanche.
"Does the view from your mountain
fastness appear to detect the crown Of
success on the head of this campaign
against that dod-gasted mousep Bring
me twelve baskets for the fragmentsr
and Mr.. Spoopendyke bounded cut Of
the closet and fired his boot through
the mirror. "Got any more mice anx-
ious to undergo the brief excitement Of
annihilationi Where"
There he goes! Ho-o-o-e-e-e!' inter-
rupted Mrs. Spoopendyke, with : pro-
longed shrek.
Mr.. Spoopendyke looked around him
with dazed eyes and spied the mouse
for the first time.
''Whoopr' he roared, as he plunged
for the corner. what Is this see be-
fore me, with his tail toward meP Now
watch the triumph of genius over the
activity of vermini' and he banged his
head against the wall az the mouse
darted between his feet
Hes climbing up the chairI Take
him out! Scald him! Burglarsr' pipsd
Mrs Spoopendyke, with her knees in
her neck and her hair on end.
whats the matter up therer de-
manded Mr. Spoopendyke, wrenching
himself into a sitting position and con.
templating his wife with an expression
scarcely indicative Of admiration.
"What're you doing up there thou
sand feet above the level of the sea,
anyway Got some kind of a notion
that you're fancy sunset. haven't
youP Well, you don't Hi, there!
Got you now, have I?" and he made q
dive under his wiie's chair after tha
mouse. "Got some kind of scientific
impression that his combination Of ner-
camille intelligence, known to the bank
as Spoopendyke, isn't to be relied or
as a phenomenon in the role Of amateur
rat trap, haven't your" and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke gave vicious jab At the mouse
with a stick and found MIN stuck un-
der the chair.
''Is he deadP" asked Mrs. SpoOpSn-
dyke, watching the gyration of her hus-
bands limbs with pronounced Solict-
tude.
''Get ue!" howled Mr. Spoopendyka.
trying to extricate himself Pull o6
this measly chair before convert it In
to tracts and begin TO disseminate Il
among the clamoring heather! Hear
me! Get-T' and with mighty effort
Mr.. Spoopendyke upset the chair,
bringing his wife down on aim like
bundle, while the mouse went up the
chimney. THAT whatYe wantedP" he
demanded as Mrs. Spoopendyke strug-
gled to her feet and looked around for
the foe. Think you've accomplished
your dod-gasted design Cn thingse Got
through with your earthquake, or was
thls only rehearsal7"
ibid you hurt yeurself, deare" asked
Mrs SpoopeRdyks. still drsading the
Of the mouse. You did
/ really thiEk yeu hsve
scared him away for good.
do, dc yer" grinned Mr.. spoopen-
dyke, with herEibly pleasant express
sion Of visage. Had time since it hap
pensd to think il all over, haven't ysp
With your celebrity ef thought and a5il-
ity to impars what yOu know, yoa only
want a tin staircase inside Of you and
a FREELY in your fist to be a dod-gasted
Bartholdi Statue Of measly Liberty en-.
tightening the worldi the newt time
YOU see mouse apouAd these premis-
os, YOU get up and sit on him until get
ready to commence. You hearpn And
with this verbal letter Of instrMctioA,
Mr. Spoopendyks projected himself IN
to his night shirt and fled himself away
between the sheets.
II don't cans." murwured Mrs.
Spoopenayks. scrutinizing herself ia
the glass and wondering if she Was too
cid TO wear her hair banged. II don't
care. l knew they bite, because 6
they didn't, how sould they scare folks
SEP" and pondsring en the imprsgna-
bility Of tais argument Mrk Spoopsn-
dyke pushed table against the eaaim-
ney, 50 the nouss soulda't get back iato
the room, and saak int . blissful
dream Of the EtOpiAn periods when The
backs ok chairs wosld hs aads broad
enough for yoRaen 70 walk on when
II, afau Al .vs+l iuva alan hv fha v,ra.ts