Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-07-30

midnight. She ca me in hurriedly, bu
quietly, and asked the boy sleeping il
the office-room to show her to her hus
bands room at once. He rubbed hi
eyes, and supposing it was my wifi
who had been out, took, his dim burn
ing lamp and showed her my room
and then she told him to 60 back dowr
stairs; and our room door being unfast
ened. she came softly In. My wife and
[ were sound asleep. The weather was
warm, and you may be sure 1 was mol
much burdened with covering. was
sleeping on the front of the bed on my
side, with my back to the door. The
lamp in the room was dimly burning,
and tho she could see us, she could not
recognize us as we were lying. But
| she was sure it was her husband how
could she be mistaken when it was in
the papers? Well, that woman might
have shot me If pistols had been as
much in fashion then as now; but she
didn't. No, not by any means. She
took q fiat bit of board that had been
used to hold up the window, and hit
me one of the blastedest whacks on my
naked hips that any little woman OF
her size ever inflicted on the neither
parts of a spoiled boy. Lord! can feel
it yet. sending the blood cavorting all
over me from head to foot-rather, it
sent it from the centre rushing both
waysp'
Ibid it wake you?" inquired citizen.
"My Cd. man! what are you talk
ing about! 1t would have wakened
the Cardiff Giant, or an Egyptian
mummy! Hallelujah! My friend, that
aoas the most vigorously used paddle
ever felt! Jimminny, tho! AS she
struck the blow, she savagely said.
- and wife, eh!' Well, that whack
resounded through the hotel, and both
myself and wife raised to sitting po-
sition and looked at the intruder. Of
course, I supposed it was burglar
trying to murder U.S.. But before my
eyes were fairly open she saw her mis-
take, saw that 1 was not the right man
she was after, and with scream that
made ones hair stand on end, she
bounded toward the door and fell over
chair and tainted. Well, we saw she
was helpless and harmless, and, when
she recovered so she could talk, she
told what her errand was-to catch
what she supposed by the papers was
faithless husband. But her honest
husband was attending to his business
miles away. She cried and was all
broken up What aUould her hus-
band say at such an awful taina.s Che
implored us not to tell anybody, and
my wife interceding for her Il promised
never to tell on her if she would prom
Use nevermo-e to be jealous of her hus-
band. AS soon as she was released she
ran off to the railroad ,and took the first
train home. The other hotel folks were
clamorous to know what the racket in
the night was all about, but my wife
who was always an expert at inn
promptu explanations-told the other
ladies, soto voce, and with knowing
wink, 'Oh, it was only bedstead
and there was never an
other question asked, and no one was
the WISER"
"Good! good!" chimed in several
voices.
"Now, can you match that in your
personal experience?" asked visitor of
citizen.
"Well, no, rather think not, exact
ly; you never can get up real crispy
with out q woman in it, but
if had had a jealous wife, I might
have had an adventure not very long
ago. It's pretty good joke on my
self, and illustrates what funny mis-
takes may occur. Several y ears ago in
out in Colorado, in our party |
was one of the smartest little boys I |
ever saw. w. Fife, by name. willie
we called him. He washed dishes, and |
did camp work generally. Honest as
the SUM- they all said who knew him.
Willie was little Irish orphan boy |
who had been New York newspaper |
boy, and he had stolen away from his
grandmother, and gone to the noun
tains with party of mining adventur-
ers. Then he had been with the sur
veyors, and at all sorts ofjobs. I took
a real fancy to Willie Fife, and he took
to me in a real affectionate way. But
happened then, and we parted
in few days, when our camp broke
up, and for got all about Willie Fife
until one day lately was hurriedly
walking through the Union Depot in
st. Louis, when some one pulled my
coat sleeve. I stopped and looked
around at boy with a care-worn face,
yet radiant with smiles. He seized my
hand and looked SO impioringly and
honestly in my eyes that knew had
seen him, but when and where was
not sure. After further Misunderstanding,
seeing my hesitation, he said, you have
forgotten w. Fife-Willie Fife you used
to call me- and then another impulsive
hand-shake.
mo, indeed! had not forgotten, but
was real glad to see the honest, bright
boy.
"Well, soon found upon question
ing Willie that he had not had luck in
that he had worked his way
kIot for baok toward New Ynrk ond