The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-01-22


We notice that many other religious
papers are trying TO arouse the public
mind TO the great moral danger into
which the world is being whirled by
the increasing prevalence Of the soul
destroying and body-dwarfing corset.
That hits us where we live. and we are
right on deck, in all cases of this kind,
to do all we oan, in our feeble way, to
keep the globe spinning on in its prop
er orbit. For the information of un-
married men, and o good share Of the
female population of Milwaukee, we
will explain that the corset is q concern
that goes around woman in the neigh
borhood of where all but the two top
buttons of her vest would strike her il
she were man, and wore business
suit. The object of the corset is not
clearly known, but it does great deal
of work that man, with unaided arms,
might do in q more satisfactory man
ner, we should think. At least, many
of them would be willing to usurp it's
Office for season and do the best they
could. As near as We can make out, it
fa~ors home missions and goes In for
anything to beat Grant--or any other
man. 1t also believes in Capitalization,
and to effect it does more squeezing
than q soldier at home on furlough.
Aside from this, its intentions are
mostly concealed from view and clothed
In mystery. You can't tell anything
about it with much certainty. You
may have an impression amounting to
O sure thing, as you think, and you
may formulate theory that will seem
to show that the corset Is doing more
| good than deacon at camp meeting,
but you can't prove it with geometri-
cal precision. You can't take it out
into the light of day and demon
strate it with the certainty of a
mathematical problem. In calcula-
tons concerning a corset the
figures cannot be depended upon.
They are as unreliable as a woman s
watch or a mans promises. They
never turn out to be what you take
them for. 1t is little curious, but an
absolutely petrified fact, that figure
with a corset on will lie like oil sin, and
stick to it till marriage. The man who
believes them, and stakes his hopes
and affections on their veracity, gets
badly, and very often sadly, left. Some
times they don't add up right, and then
again they are actually and materially
much larger than they look to be. That
kind OF arithmetic is puzZler TO man
with head big enough to teach SCHOOL
and no wonder it floors all the rest of
creation. Figures have always had a
reputation like mature wheat for hon
est candor, but you can't depend on
them any longer than it takes to get q
marriage certificate with any safety or
certainly, if there is woman in the
corset. They will deceive their own
grandmother, and glory in it, too. But,
even if figure IS honest, there Is SO
much deception in corsets it gets no
credit tor it. Sometimes you may give
n careless look at figure without stop
ping to put on your specs, and. very
naturally, suppose that it represents q
goodly portion OF solid substantially
but, specs or no specs, flee to the
mountains, young man, rather than be-
lieve that figure under oath-we mean
under q corset. II is more delusive
than dream book or q nomination for
the Presidency. In fact, it is something
like the unknown quantity in algebra,
it may represent good deal or a very
little. Like clause in every deed
transferring land, it is not what it pre-
tends TO be, but more or less" and
you must take your chances and put up
with the consequences. There is no
going behind the returns in that cleo
ton. The corset differs from the man
tie of charity, because it fits tighter,
but it envelopes multitude of women
who are not all saints, and throws snuff
into the eyes of another multitude OF
men who are not all sinners. In some
cases it is big enoug to go round the
world, because frequently very small
woman may be the whole earth to some
man who has eyes, but don't see worth
q nickel.
We learn from gentleman who has
been for some years engaged In the
manufacture of this deceptive feminin c
staple, that it is shaped something like
the upper half of a capstan, and is
provided with an adjusting arrange
ment by which it can be made to fit
the oldest woman or the youngest
girl. 1t rs filled with bones, or some
thing else Of an unyielding nature, and
no expense is spared to make it feel as
much like mans arm as possible, and
the tighter it hugs the better it seems
TO suit. When it begins to lose its
tension and grow Indifferent, the use oil
IN ingenious device for renewing its
ardor by Tightening up the greater part
of the rigging becomes apparent. 1t is
provided with ample hawser facilities
for this purpose, and we presume that
a pulley in the ceiling, and some con.
venient place to Delay the line, would
be a mighty handy desideratum tc
have around in every household that is
not bachelors hall.
And now, that we have shown up the
fraud to the best of our knowledge and
ability, our readers can not fail to see
that the guardians of pubic morality
have indeed been resting on their oars
too long, and that something ought tc
! ha done at onca Tn mako the oirls oive