Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1885-06-21
SMARTER THAN THEY LOOK.
GREAT TURTLE STORIES.
Remarkable Feats Performed by Turtles. as
Told by Ffsrida Charaeters-rhe slow
ce,rs ysndteates.


Gssrs ysnd,eatea.
A Live Oak (Fla.) letter SAYS
"Talking about turtles, " said the Pro-
fessor-" give me little gin, DAM
The Professor drinks GIN" inter-
rupted the Major. because he says
that Byron used that sort of beyer-
age"
You are mistaken thar, 'Fess,"
Joined in the bartender. "Jim Byron
hez been comm in my place three
times a day for the last year. an |
never knowed him to drink nothin' but
good old red licker.'"
The Professor glanced pityingly at
the bartender moment, and then
filled his glass to the brim with the in
spiration of the poet Byron. The others
looked at him with respectful astonish-
ment. The glass was large one, hold
ing over half a pint, and the gin rose
above the level.
Professor" said the Major, sarcas-
tically, hadn't you better make hole
in that gin with your finger, so that
Dan. can pour in some bitters? It'll
make IL taste BETTER
Calmly and dispassionately the Pro-
fessor raised his tumbler Of liquid
tribulation and let its contents run
down his throat, where so many drinks
had gone before. Talking about tur-
ties, - resumed he, " they belong to the
order Of testudinata, and are famous
for the tenacity with which they cling
to life. Pliny mentions one that was
caught in the Tiber that lived two weeks
after its head was cut off,"
They know heap, too, turtles do"
said the Colonel, land it takes right
sharp man to get ahead Of 'em. I've
thought at times they could reason al
most as well as we can. Lots of good
horse-sense in their hard heads, and
I'll put up gold on it. BY the way,
the curiousest thing | ever saw with
turtles happened when | was visiting
down to Biscayne bay. Twas stopping
with my old friend, General Jumbles.
He had crawl full of turtles, and one
morning early he went out to get
one. so we could have soup for
dinner and some steaks for break
fast. went along with him, for
lie had a pint-hask in his pocket and !
didn't want him to get too far out Of
nv sight. ] hadn't had my morning
dram yet and was powerful dry. After
we got to the crawl the General handed
me the flask, turned his back on me.
and | took a good one. After he got
his he selected young turtle and took
it out of the water and turned it over
on its back. 1t was a green turtle,
weighed about forty pounds, and was
fat as butter. The General took out
his knife to cut Off its head. but just as
he got it about three quarters or one
Of his niggers came running up and told
him that the baby had been took sick.
OF course, he dropped everything and
run for the house. ! stayed behind. for
the flask was there. and felt it to be
my duty to guard it sacredly."
"Quite right, too. Colonel the act
does great credit to you, both as a sol
der and a gentleman" said the Major.
The Professor looked at him benignly
through his gold-rimmed spectacles and
nodded approyingly. "While was
waiting" continued the Colonel, " what
do you suppose the turtle did? Dog
bite me if he didn't 80 back and
Jump in the crawl. went there to
see if / could pick him ont, and what
do you suppose | saw: Why, gentle
men, as sure as | am 4 Democrat
two other turtles had him up in
corner and was sewing up the cut on
his head with seaweed, using n piece
Of fishbOne for a needle. watched
the whole thing, and it was as pretty a
Job as ! ever saw. No surgeon could
have done better. Professor, I'd be
much obliged to you if you would try
and keep awake whilst am repeating
history"
II beg your pardon, Colonel" re-
piled the Professor, 81 was thinking Of
the tabled tortoise that held the world
upon its back"
Thinking of gin. more likely
snorted the hardly-pacifed Colonel,
and | guess We are all pretty dry.
Dan, you may repeat that last order,
but don't put quite so much sugar IN
mine
Did the turtle live :" inquired the
Judge.
eyes, sir, he did, and Jumbles has
him now: learned him to chew tobacco
and smoke, too. lie wouldn't take no
money for him. Last time | was thar,
after supper we went out on the piazza
for quiet smoke. The General handed
me a long clay pipe. took one himself,
and gave one to Bill. which was the
name of the turtle, and had followed
us out. Bill took it, went to the box
Of tobacco. filled it. struck a match on
his shell, lit his pipe, and then turned
over on his back and pulled away like
a gentleman, by -. 1t was the most
amusing thing ever seem"
II owned a turtle once" said the
Judge, "when was living at Cedar
Keys, that would rather lay over yours,
Colonel. 1t was big loggerhead, and
weighed about four hundred pounds.
1t was very fond of the children, and
used to romp and play with them all
the time. School was about mile
away from my house, and just about :
O'Clock every morning, when there was
school, Pomp, the old turtle, would
come a-wobblin' up to the door, and
the children would get on his back,
and off they'd 60 to school,
a-frolickin' and laughing. You know
how sudden these Florida showers come
up? Well, you might think the chill
dren'd get wet. No, no old Pomp
knew a trick worth two of that. He'd
Just stop in the road, let the children
get of, then he'd raise up his top shell
and they'd all crawl under, and the
rain couldn't tech 'em. They used to
call it his roof, and said it was mighty
comfortable and warm layin' in there
among the gristle and things. | traded
him off for a lot of law-books when |
left there, for l couldn't bring him