The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1885-10-09
Raeetia.

SNAAASo
A great many men get CHER fingers
burned with baseball matches.
Boston maidens love flowers. It is
haughty-culture, don't you know.
For street cleaner that will do its
work thoroughly we suggest mad dog.
Miss Cleveland's book shows a lament
able Ignorance about lawn tennis aud
croquet-
The Gar of Russia is but forty years
Cd. 1t is not proper, therefore, to call
him an old Czlrdine.
A bar in the river and bar on shore
have the same name because water is
scarce i'll both places.
Popinjay says that he wishes he could
induce his wife to try the early CLOSING
movement on her mouth.
The front gate kiss has given place to
the seaside OSCILLATION. 1t makes very
pretty trimming for small talk.
But Henry has talent, father ?"
MAY be, child, may be; but you can't
live on that without little bacon to
mix with it."
Nothing is impossible for him who
wills, chimes in woultl-be philosopher.
You try it when the old lady says
won't"
There is one thing in this world
wherein men and flies are equally silly.
They both yield to the attractive power
of 'lasses
"Time works wonders" says young
man of twenty-seven when he returned
home and found his eldest sister only
eighteen.
He: ''I see the latest idiocy of women
is to have monkey for pet" She:
THAT is not new. 1t was SO when we
got married"
| During such weather as this o man is
almost persuaded to become an office
seeker, just for the purposs of being left
out in the cold.
A thoughtful man can find fodder for
much rumination i'll the announcement
hat seventy-two per cent. of the bald
loaded men in this country are married.
A shrewd Bridgeport girl hurried up
! hlncs wonderfully Ivy assuring her
:-pung man that she despised those
maj $ who continue to eat ice cream
tier they have married.
"A new policeman on the beat" re-
,arked an esteemed contemporary.
YesE, that's too bad. The old police
nan was on the beat, too. Times don't
eem to improve any.
When tramp sees q woman with
,istol or gun in her hands he goes
1ht on without winking, but let her
l)pear on the scene with Il dipper of
:ot water and he makes tracks like
.angaroo.
Somebody told Lady Morgan that a
'ortuin bishop was so lax in church
observance that &C he would eat horse
N Ash Wednesday," "Of course he
rould, said the lady, " if it was fast
horse !"
Now, Uncle Gable if you have any
ching on your heart, any last wish.
speak out, said the parson to the old
negro who had only a few hours to live.
Il amt got no last wish 'cept dat I
wants to get we'll.
'Why lid the Apostle Paul go to
Athen:' asked a Sunday school teacher
please. sir, was it to throw the detec-
tives off his track 2 answered n Canadian
tourists little boy whose papa had left
him behind.
An eight-year-old Albany boy, the
other day. after few moments spent in
deep study, turned to his mother and
asked: Ma don't Won think we'd better
send God word that we don't want any
more children?"
An indiana paper remarks that it is
clothes which attract attention, not
men" If any one believes this let him
disrobe himself in the street, hang his
clothes on the lamp-post and then note
| which attracts the most attention.
PA, asked the small boy. "why do
they call the first piece the organ plays
in church the voluntary 2" Because,
my son." replied the old gentleman,
the organist runs his hands over the
keys and the organ goes wherever it
pleases."
One of the greatest puzzles to the
observant spectator who watched the
youngsters playing Copenhagen at the
children's jubilee yesterday was to know
why those little girls who fought so
against being kissed played the game at
ALL They didn't have to.
wouldn't he go along with yon?"
asked judge a day or two a"O of
policeman accused of unmercifully
clubbing a prisoner. "Oh. yes, he
went along all right" replied the police
man. '.Then why did yon club him ?"
asked the Judge And sure, your
/ I r I. l. Dgf