The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1885-08-12
A Hint 70 Commercial Agencies.

one OF cur townsman - an eastern firm.
It fully explains itself:
GRxrLENES: lam in receipt of your
letter requesting me to furnish you with
new bond for the faithful performance
of my duties in your service, and in
forming me that your latest reports do
not regard Mr.. --. my bondman and
partner, rs good In reply will say that
] shall not give new bond or any bond
10 You, and desire you to return to me at
once the bond you now hold, signed by
myself and Mr.. -. as / decline to
act for ron in the fitur e in any capacity
whatever. / began business one year
ago as your representative in this place.
At that time had fair practice, herd
Of cattle, a ranch, a house and lots here
and some money at interest and was in
good health. My. partner, Mr.. -,
was similarly well fixed, To-day, after
one year in your employ, we are both
hopelessly bankrupt and broken down
in health, and after having worked our
financial and physical ruin you have the
audacity to taunt MS with our wretched
condition and call for additional secur-
ity. During the past year We have re-
ceiYed from your firm for collections a
few claims, but the parties against whom
they were held had been SO long de-
ceased that their memory was dim
shadow of the past, and the only relic
of their existence was found in the SIM
pie slab that marked their last resting
place, on which was inscribed the legend
KILLED by Indians, 17Ol' These claims
like continental money, We're chiefly
valuable on account of their anti
guilty, and no one but the antiquar-
ian ever had any use for them. If had
lived in the days of Lots wife, Ilwould
have been contemporaneous with the
claims sent me by you, but the nine
teenth century is some three thousand
years too late for any active endeavors
as a collector in our employ If l was
ghoul Knight 60 to the graveyard and
there endeavor to enforce collections of
your claims by stealing and selling the
body of the deceased debtor; but / am
not; therefore l am helpless. What
you need Of bond / don't know.
have never received any money on
claims sent me by you, for the reason
that the laws of the Carthaginians do
not prevail in this territory, and | am
not a spiritualist and cannot commune
with the dead. What you need for an
attorney is first-class spiritualist, who
can talk with the dead and collect bills
Of Julius Caesar and Cicero and Adam.
No one as recent as the revolutionary
war need apply-he is too young and
childish to be in your employ. That is
what has ruined me and my partner in
business. We would receive
bill from you for collection and on in
quiry find that the party had been dead
fifty or sixty years, and the person of
whom we enquired would get hot be-
cause he thought we were making fun of |
the dead. The only bill We ever re-
ceived from you that there was ghost |
of show to collect, we put into judge
ment and the debtor sent the money
direct to the creditors and left us with
the costs to pay ont Of our own pockets.
This we did. and when we modestIy re-
quested you to get the costs out of the |
creditors you wrote long letter giving |
me sheol for what had done and then
call for more bonds What is this bond |
for? If any one needs bond it is my
self You have ruined my business,
destroyed my health, and now you want
me to give bonds that won't steal your
money. have never seen any money
to steal. ANY man who could get money
out Of the bills sent me by your firm
could get blood out of a cast iron crow
bar. Your debtors if thev could be put
in row would rival tie ragged regiment
of Falstaf-they would disgrace fourth
class poorhouse. My partner and / have
lived together peacefully during the past
year, and only one shadow has crossed
our paths, that is the fact that he recon-
mended me to you. have always felt
sore over this. think he did me a
grave wrong. shall look upon him
with more or less suspicion on account
of this act until he vindicates himself
by some great and noble sacrifice. If /
had an enemy, some one that l thor
oughly hated, man whose pres
ence was a burden to me, and
l wanted TO get even with him and
square accounts until the day of judge
ment, would recommend him to you as
your attorney. If you appointed him
would weep for that man even though |
hated him, for his life would be a HI
to him for ever after. Therefore | will
not recommend any one to you to supply
my place. l don't hate anyone bad
enough. IT, were to receive pay at the
rate of one cent pound from your firm
for the paper have covered with re-
ports ON the financial standing of vari-
Gus parties in Bohemian, many Of whom
have been deceased from twenty to
thirty years, would retire from active
business and buy out Jay Gould and live
on the interest Of my money. !, how
ever, have never received cent, and
now you ask me to give bonds. | am
also convinced that you are in the habit
Of making inquiries concerning the
standing of men in business here for the
of the callow clerks that
swarm in your offices. After had re-
ceiyed and answered six or eight en-
luires about the same party in one week,
two letters the same day, /
era luaIly began to show signs ofuneasi-
ness, and desired rest ; but the howl
ing idiot who presides over this section
ofthe country and has this territory in
4. . until Il