Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1885-04-04
A GOOD JOKE.

The Two Lieutenants Schmidt, Fa-
ther and Son.
Translated from the German for Texas
Siftings. 1
A certain man by the name of Carl
Schmidt joined the army and became
a Lieutenant in battery of artillery,
which was stationed at the time OF our
story in small Prussian town. AS
he had no influence at headquarters
promotion was very slow, being al
most as slow as the action in a Su-
preme Court. Other and less deseIv-
ing officers were advanced, but Lieut..
Carl Schmidt did not advance except
in age and experience. He was still q
Lieutenant when his hair became
gray. Hoary-headed Lieutenants are
quite common in the German army.
Lieutenant Schmidt had married
very early in life. In due time a son
was born, to whom was given. his
fathers name. As soon as the son
was old enough he was sent to the
military academy. and after having
graduated was assigned TO the same
battery in which his father was Lieu
tenant There were, therefore, two
Lieutenant's by the name OF Carl
Schmidt in the same battery. But
what was more peculiar still was the
fact that father and son were identical
in form and feature, except that while
the hair and moustache of the father
were snowy white, those of the son
were Jet, glossy black. The son had
an old look, which gave him a more
venerable appearance than that. OF
most men of his age, while the tather,
who was OF lively turn OF mind,
seemed to be younger than he really
was. ~
At first the son lived with his par
ents, but ON the death of his mother,
father and son no longer lived togeth-
err. Each one rented himself a ROOM.
The younger man preferred this mode
of life, as it gave him more liberty. In
order to prevent confusion the father
was known among his army friends as
Schmidt No 1, while the son was call
ed Schmidt No. 2. They were so iden-
tical in personal appearance that had
the son powdered his hair, the most
intimate friends OF the two Lleuten-
ants Schmidt would not have been able
t., decide in what relation they stood
to each other.
Schmidt No. / was in the habit of
inviting officers, who visited the town
in which his battery was stationed, TO
lodge with him. He had large num-
Der of aequaintances among the older
army officers, one of whom was stop
ping with him at the time ut which
our story begins. This officer, who
belonged to the dragroons, although
no longer young. had remarkably
black hair.
Schmidt No. l, on coming into the
room of his guest one morning, ob-
served that he was holding bottle In
his hand, from which he had just taken
the cork.
.What have you. got there-liver
regulator. or something for you stom-
ach's sake ?" queried old Schmidt
The guest seemed to be annoyed
and replacing the cork, replied that II
was Il remedy for dandruf1. and placed
the bottle on the edge vi the window
behind the curtain. The guest lelt Il
few hours afterwurd.
The incident had passed out OF the
mind of Schmidt, No. !, and he would
perhaps never have recalled 1t had he
not noticed the bottle few days after
ward. 1t then occurred to him that
he, too. was troubled with dandrutf III
his hair and moustache, SO he applied
the stuff his guest had left behind lib
eralIy. SIe had scarcely done so when
| glAncin lat the clock, he perceived II
was tir for him 10 appear on the
| parade ground to superintend the
drilling of the recruits. Seizlng hi.
rap and sword he hurried out. Had
he looked in the glass he would have
been somewhat surprised, Tor the al
legged cure for dandrutf was SIMPLY
hair dye, and the snowy hair anc
/ mustache of Schmidt No. l were IA
black AS the ravens wing. The only
points of difference between himsel
and son were completely wiped out
To all outward appearances father ano
| son were absolutely Identical, although
Schmidt No. was utterly ignorant o
the transformation that had taken place
in his personal appearance.
The Captain of the Battery, who wa
an old gentleman by the name .
Braun, was already ON the parade
ground, waiting for the arrival of hi
friend Schmidt No. /. Captain Braun
was greatly gratified when he saw hi
friend coming, for they were grea
chums and loved to chat together. A
Schmidt No drew near Braun, tn
latter perceived by the blac k hair ant
mustache that he was mistaken, that
was Schmidt No. 2; SO he thought.
Good morning, Lieut.. Schmidt
Where is your father this morning ?
Now the father of Lieut.. Schmld
No. l had been dead many years, henc
the old Lieutenant stared stupidity a
his superior officer instead OF answer
ing. He was under the impression
that he had not heard Alright.
"Your father is we'll | hope? ?" con
tinued Captain Braun. -,
"My father ?" inquired Schmid
looking still more perplexed, and satl'
fed in his own mind that his hearin
had become defective.
ayes, your father. L thought e.
pressed myself very clearly. VIII,
cause is there for surprise i'll my asl
ing after the health of your father
asked Captain Braun.
"You are very kind, l am sure,
make inquiry" replied Schmidt No.
"but Captain, my father is dead, III
fortunately"
dead !" almost shrIeked Braun, "di
you say dead?'
ayes, dead" replied Schmidt No
opening his eyes wider tnan ever.
"My God! it is dreadful! How trt
it is that in the midst of life we are
death. Merciful Heavens, how did
happen ~
Q HIS horse fell on him and broke b
neck"
The old Captain clasped his ham
in silent agony, and muttering, "it
dreadful dreadful" walked slow
away.
\ Schmidt No l did not know VII
to think. Why his father, who h
, been dead twenty-five years, shou
become the object of interest to Ca
tain Braun at that late day was me
than he could apprehend: He gaz
at the retreating form OF his superi
officer until he turned a corner a
was out of sight, and then he soil
quized !:
This beats anything / have expe
- enced. Poor old Braun must ha
softening OF the brain, or else he
taken to drinking
:. Just then Lieutenant Scholz, anotl
D. officer belonging TO the same bate
a Il.