The Osceola times., 1885-07-25
THE TIME-P,ECE VEST.
Honensteiu Gives His Clerk q I~..o
Practical Fconomv

,.~fA - LeGaOn L.
Practical Economy,
Trade on Poydras street was dull and
most of the shop-keepers in the yicini,r
of the market occupied chairs on ,hs
sidewalk and chatted with each o,has
about the news of the day. Hoflenstein
however, sat alone, engrossed in deen
thought and wondering II the presep,
summer would be as dull as the outlooL
indicated. While he was thus engaged
Herman came to the door and said.
"Misder Hoflienstein, il We don't purity
quick puts some camphor nit dose black
merno vests de reaches will eat dem all
away, und dinks it viii be veil il va
does de same ding NIT dose vite WOOL
hats, because de last time dat I sells
Won uf dem de man comes back IN
de store de next day und dells me do,
he find enough Of bed-bugs under de-
lining to stock house, und dot he baf
to boil he hat shust like 1t vos a yepeta.
BILE before he could wear it. und den be
dells me dat ven he boils it dat de hat
stretches worse den biece uf army
beef, und dat it spreads until he get his
wife to bind all uf de edges around mid
red flannel. und uses it in winter for a
blanket. He makes me so mad ven he
dalks dat way dat dells him If he don't
90 de store out, hits him nit he top uf
shoe-box, und before | says anydinp
else, he knock me ofer de head NIT a
pair of dose star brogans vot vos laying
on de counter, und he goes away und
no policeman comes. II il don't haf
been dat my aunt dies in Shreveport
last year, would haf Wiped him until
he dinks dot he don't will nefer come
around dis store again nit any uf his
foolish nit me-"
"yat makes you always dalk to custo.
mcrs dot vay," said Ho6enstein, an.
grily. You loses his pisiness und you
gets Wiped in de bargain. Ven you
sees dot de customer vas mad, Wy don't
you dell him dose vite WOOL hats vas de
regular blanket hat, und dot you vas
sorry you nefer dink uf delling him
about dere biculiarity ven he buys Won.
In dot way de man would dink he gets a
good bargain mitout knowing it, und
YOU keeps his pisiness. 1t vas shust
about time dot you vas dinking how to
handle de drade, you know but you
don't, und because it vas dull you goes
around und nefer dinks. l haf been
Watching you, Herman, und sees
dot if don't say noding dot after vile
you gets so lazy you wont even keep de
flies away from YOU" Then Hoffenstein
withered his clerk with glance, and
after pacing the door moment said:
"At vat price vas you holding does
merino vests, vat you dells about vile
ago?'
-Four dollars. Mr.. Hoffcnsten."
"Vat did dey cost at de auction sale"
"Dey shust cost eighty cents a piece,
sir, und vas de damaged goods vot
comes from Goldheimer's store ven il
burns down"
well, den, you dakes de marking
brush und put card NIT de show-vin-
dow dot We sells dose vests at 1915,
vich vas way below cost. Dot will gif
YOU someding to do, und it will keep
your mind busy, because If you goes
around here much longer mitout any
ding to do first ding know l will catch
you writing boetry for de Sunday bapers,
und den will run you out uf dis store
in such a way dot you will dink you fell
out uf window, und you don't had bet
ter dink dot don't mean vat say, cider.
Now you can dake your coat und go
home to dinner, und vile you vas dere
dink uf blan to sell dose vests. Dell
a customer ven he cones in dot dey vas
called de Timepiece vests, und dot dey
dell de time uf day. How many buttons
vas on dose vests?'
"Six Misder Hoflenstein."
.Vell, den. dell de customer dat q
button drops off efery two hours. und
dot it sphlits open in de back vonce in
efery twenty-four hours. und safes de
exbense of watch. II dat wasn't salts.
factory to de customer you can say dat
de vest viii rip in de left side vonce in
five minutes. und in the right side efery
quvarter of an hour. Remember vat
say. Herman, und dell de beople vot you
blease, shust so you sell dose old vests
and make room for de new stock, you
know"
"Yes, Misder Hoifenstein.
And Herman left the store, deter
mined to do all he could to please his
employer and to avoid a repetition OF
the lecture. o. Times Democrat.