Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1885-04-20
HUMOROUS COMMENT.
A PATRIOTS REFLECTIONS

I've viewed the situation, and In feeling
kinder blue,
For I'm kind o calkelatin that the partys all
upset.
The Government at Washington is Twin, it is
true,
But the offices we're wantin as yet we haven't
got.
What's the use of all our fightin for to turn the
rascals out,
If the man that's lected President just keeps
the cusses in?
What for was our professions, an wherefore did
we shout
An paint the town yerlnilion? Why, damme,
it's sin
I've viewed the situation, an I'm feeling kinder
blue
The Offices we're wantin', it appears, we're not
to get
At least not till them cusses what holds them
now gets through
/ seryin out their terms. But, then, we may
-[oil City Blizzard.
A correspondent asks "Can you in
form me how to get fat ?" Certainly Buy
a five-dollar horse and wagon and go around
to the back door after it Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
Horse-shoeS were unknown 10 the Greeks
and Romans, and yet the people Of these
nations had considerable luck. They es-
capped the dynamite scare, the crazy-quilt
craze, tramps and the roller-skating mania.
Il Lowell Citizen.
\ certain little three-year-old likes very
much to go to church, and especially en-
iovs the singing One day the choir sang
!" Rock of Ages Cleft for Me, and after she
got home the little one was beard singing,
very seriously, Rock the babies kept for
me"
Z. /, l.
of wheel in the sun. One day he sat
down on the Rev DR.. Emerson's hat, and
then instantly arose and passed the crump
led thing to its owner, saying: =" You ought
to thank me for that, for your hat was only
silk, but now it is satin
No" said the Vermont deacon, Il
don't approve of hOss racin', but when an
other member Of the church becomes so
goddess as TO try to pass me on the road
comm home from meetin' | feel it my
duty 70 the church TO let out leetle on the
reins just to keep him from putin his trust
in earthly things
Which is your favorite hymn, Miss
Overbash ~ asked the new preacher of Il
young lady at the church sociable. "Oh !!
I-I-doE't like to say" Why not, pray +?
We all have our favorites and | like to
know the preferences OF the young ladies of
my congregation Well, sir, if | must
tell, rather like Sam Flanders, and |
don't care who knows it."
4 lady advocating woman suffrage re-
Gently brought down the house with the
following argument: - | have no vote but
my groom has. | have great respect for
that man in the stables, but | am sure if
were to 20 TO him and say, John, viii you
exercise the franchise? he would reply,
Please, mum, which horse be that 2
The Ilewellyn family, of Pottsville, is
familiar with wooden legs. Mrs. Ann
Llewellyn, who wears one, married her
late husband because he had wooden leg,
and their only son walks abroad on an
oaken stump Mrs LleWellyn recently
told facctious lawyer that wooden legs
were better than wooden heads any day in
the week.
A recent advertisement reads as follows :
If the gentleman who keeps the shOc-Store
with the red head will return the umbrella
Of a young lady with whalebone ribs and
iron handle to the slate-roofed grocer 5
shop he will hear of something to his adj
vantage. as the same is the gift OF a de-
deceased mother now no more, with the
name engraved on ii.
Now" said the bridegroom to the bride
when they returned from the honeymoon
trip, " let us have clear understanding
before we settle down to married life; are
YOU to be President or NicePresident OF
| this concern" 3" want to be neither Pres
idcnt nor Vice-President, she answered.
q will be content with subordinate posi-
ton" What is that " Controller Of
the Currency"