The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-17

derouk blast of Eiison's coming mega phonistie eghoTn that shall ever scare the mermaids in oceans dee pest, dark. green palace caverns into fits would be a schoolgirl whisper to my dullARd ears; and cannot tell a tea-Icse nom singed polecat by the scent. My face is so hid euusiy swollen ihs;, wG;;S Sas s;as E franucally gTinning and chuckling at some stupid thing that has amused it, the other looks on grim and stohd as tobacconist's wooden lnjun with bad case of humps. have to climb up a step-ladder to see over my upper lip, and have had to tie 10 pound clock.weight to the tip of one ear to balance the op posite jaw. Talk about the chiefest of all new-world virtues have it by the ache-r. have dwindled away Ngn,il am compelled to wear a Macki- nav blanket and two pairs of cavalry boots to make a shadow. Before the swelling set in, my face had grown so thin and sharp, and my nose SC long and peaked, that the neighbors' children were constantly running in to borrow the one for hatchet and the other for a eimlet. The circumjacen flesh had SutAuA Oh tAh Aty VyCS StoNA O0e3 A@~ o snails, past my hat'rim. l am so slen- der that you might retail me out for a willow toothpick, or roll me in lamp black and use me for melancholy excla- nation points in your next obituary mo- tice. To ascertain what they had for dinner at my boarding-house, or the number of heart-beats to the minute in a sentimental frontier Christian, it is only necessary to hold me for an instant with a pair of hair. pischers between your eye and the sun. Many fatter and hand somer skeleton, tied together with rusty wires and cotton strings, adorns the walls of ffemale-seminary anatomy class rooms. By winding me round and round her little finger few times, as she easily might, any one of your lovely girl friends could put me in her mothers work-basket as a roll of tape. If my head were only chalked l could go as a billiard-cue to a masquerade ball; and if it were rubbed with little birthstone would make an excellent match for somebody.
 Add to all this record of dilapidation the fact that have been rambling all over this wild northwestern play ground of blzz ards, moose and polar bears, and have constantly had one mans work and two mems frolicking to do, and, if you have not reasons enough. excuses enough, explanations enough, for my failure to reply more promptly to your valued communication, you can charge the rest to the senatorial stationery account" which is elastic enough to include whis ky, lemons, hair-oil and delrium tre- mems.
 To wish a man merry or happy" in world and times so full of care and anxiety, hard work, disappointment, re- gret and sorrow seems to me equivalent to wishing him drunk or fool. Happi- ness is a golden fruitage that dangles from the boughs of seraph-guarded ap- ple-trees in Paradise, beyond the reach of human hands, or hopes, or prayers. and merriment is possible only where sanity is not. Children, drunken men and fools have monopoly on all the un- mixed hilarity, the unalloyed mirth, be- heath the skies. To be sane is to find many occasions of sadness. "ln much wisdom is much grief, and he that in- creaseth knowledge increase;h sorrow" "
 P. DOMAIN.
 His X mark.