The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-07-28

one home but his father, good old Uncle
Hypothenuse Johnson, the conversation
rapidly drifted in the direction of his love
affairs.
Il year your son gwinter be kicked by
Sophy Giggles, Uncle Muse. Am dat
so?" said Aunt Jenny, inquisitiVely.
Il dunno, l dunno, Aunt Jenny, was
owdacious, yeller niger, Ananiah, she's
gwinter be sorry fer hit befo' de var am
out. F"
"Well, Uncle Muse, dat boy Mas am
right peart boy, an year he's got right
smart bunch OBJ cattle in de woods some
Whar.
fright smart bunch oh cattlel" said
Uncle Muse contemptuously. "Sho, on'y
got three bull yearlin's an one ole COW.
Look yer, Aunt jimmy" excitedly, "lem-
me show you wha' my boy JUN git when
he gets married. And the old man
opened musty old trunk that stood IN
one corner of the room, and, after much
delving therein, and much hard breathing,
brought out an old stocking.
CHANGING cautiously around, even going
to the door to see'if any one was approach
ing, he showed Aunt Jenny its precious
contents, goodly store of gold and sill
yer. with some bills Then, carefully re-
placing it, he resumed his seat.
Huh! Right smart bunch oh cattle,
eh? Aunt jimmy" impressively, when
tibet boy OBJ mine gifts married, he gifts
four NERD dollars an twenty
cres-ob-good-lan
That settled it; as Aunt Jenny on hel
way home met Sophy when about half
way there, there could be but one result
That night, by previous engagement, Ju
took Miss Sophy to festival held at the
residence of the Rev. Capsicum Grant, on
theway back he got his courage to the stick
ing point, told his love and was coyly but
promptly accepted. The kiss that fol
lowed nearly made an owl tumble from
his perch near by, and 50 bewildered him
that an audaciOus tree toad sang an air
from Norma right under his very nose
The news of the betrothal was known
all over the neighborhood next morning,
and then the storm came
That same morning ! was sitting in my
Office trying to evolve an editorial on the
beauties of carpet bagism, when the door
thrilled beneath most lugubrious knock.
In answer to my come I'M" behold the
long, lank figure of Ananias. His counte-
nance wore a look of mingled ferOcity
and melancholy.
"Cappen, said he. Il has come to you
fer some disvice.
l showed my writing materials aside
and motioned him to chair. Then lit
cigar, the brand l particularly affect
o. P (other peoples, and said "Pro-
coed
He shuffIed awkwardly to the chair,
took position on the extreme edge of it
and began his monodY:
"Cappen / has been courtin' Miss
Sophy Giggles gwine onter two year. |
has boug6ten her lots oh candy, pinders.
an sech like truck, kerried her to festi
bules, camp meetin's, an 'scurshins, an
oh course l was 'spectin' to ak her to
1,,,4
Chuseday, she went an promise ter marry
dat brack mo- count niger. Jerusalem.
don care so much about dat, cappen, but
dis morning he stuck out his tongue at
me, an l nebber lows no gentleman ter
do that ter me, so / axes you what / mus
do. :"
1t is the principal weakness of my
many weaknesses never to allow an OPP
portunity to pass for fun. Here was =
brilliant chance. l embraced it.
Mas, l said, you are gentleman,
are you not2"
gentleman sab.
"Then, +" 1 replied, "you must chal-
lenge him. "
what is dat, sah?"
"You must send a note to him, saying
In other words, you must fight him.
A smile played over his gentle counte-
nance. Lord bless you, cap'pen," said
he, sen dat note right off. kin butt dat
niger ter pieces.
THAT won't do. said l sternly; "as a
gentleman you must fight with gentle
mans weapon. You must challenge him
to fight you with pistols
His face turned shade paler and he
hesitated l turned on him quickly,
drew my chair close to him, and
said impressively: Mas, there is a
tide in the affairs of love-sick mig
gers, which, taken at the food leads
on to marriage. / know Ju we'll He is
a terrible coward. and will run just as
soon as you present your pistol at him.
Miss Sophy will hear of it. All women
you will carry off the cake. will go
with you. act as your friend. and see that
all goes right. VIII you leave the matter
to me?"
ais you sure he won't fight, cap'pen?"
Certainly am. Now you go home
Keep quiet will see you through this
matter, and when you marry Miss Sophy,
will dance at the wedding"
All right, sab, he replied, and with
buoyant, smiling face left the office.
Half an hour afterwards l was i'll the
saddle and on my way to my old friend
Mai. Swivels. To him / repeated the
whole affair and besought him to seek Ju
and act the part of second for that meet
ing. On my return to my Office wrote
formal challenge to Ju in the name of
Ananias and quietly awaited results.
Ju, through his second, Maj. Swivels,
accepted the challenge, pistols were
named as the weapons and the following
riday as the time. Thursday afternoon
the major and met and perfected all the
details
That night for fear MAS might lose
courage and desert me, made him sleep
in my Office and fastened doors and win
dows on him About a. m. the next
morning harnessed my roam mare Nelly
to the buggy, took Mas in, and started
off. The boy was badly frightened, his
teeth chartered, and could hardly con-
troll my risibles.
With a careless movement of my foot l
dislodged the cover of box in the front
part of the buggy and allowed him
glance at its contents. These consisted of
a hand saw, a long, glittering pruning
knife and an ordinary butchers cleaver.
whats dem fer, cappen'2" he said
"They are surgical instruments, l re-
piled "Ynu may be badly wounded, and
/ may have to cut off your arm or leg to
coua yOl1r life