St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-04-19
A WAY OUT oF 1t.

TWO grave crises are now staring England
in the face One is the threatened war
with the Russian bear, the other the dis
position of 10000, 600 pounds of Chicago
canned beef III case the war does not occur
To have the fair sun of peace shining on
this immense amount of trip-hammered
meat for any length of time will tend to
spoil it, thus rendering it unfit for human
consumption. All of which is fretting the
thrifty soul of Mrs. Guelph TO the verge of
distraction. But it need not; by little jul
dicious management, to hOusekeeper of
fertile brain. such background of meat
affords great field for executive talent
The people of Great Britain must be made
to understand that all this splendid food is
in the government pantry and has got to be
eaten. 1t wont do to give it
to tramps, it cost too much money,
and aside from this, if the
palate Of the English tramp at all resembles
that of his American cousin, the chances
are that good many very dirty noses
would point heavenward i'll disdain. But
there are other ways in which it can be
disposed of to excellent advantage. There
is HASH for instance. Hash" properly
made by some one upon whom you can
rely. and served as ''mince'' garnished with
parsley is delicious. 1t would take inn
mesely with state breakfasts and could be
used with profit as an entree at diplomatic
dinners. 1t might be well to let it be cir
culated among the guests that to ask for a
second serving entities the individual to
distinguished consideration, and desire for
third plateful makes the man eligible to
the peerage, while fourth might even con-
fer upon him the Order of the Garter.
"a b., I,
menu would speedily be adopted by the
loyal BritisherS and the demand would
increase in proportion. Victoria having
created the corner could hold for the rise
and turn an honest penny on her own ac-
count. No one would grudge her this adj
vantage. The queen is deserving widow
with growing and far-stretching family TO
provide for.
Again, beef croquetteS and risSoleS are
Appealing; they are both American hash
with French names and Paris favorings.
And chicken croquettes. By judiciOus
seasoning why may not chicken croquettes
be made from canned beef as well as from
Bob veal? Not one British gourmet out of
hundred would know the difference. Beef
la mode is not bad. would do nicely for a
wash-day dinner. and is easily prepared
from canned beef by taking enough Of il,
and certainly no one will venture TO dispute
that England has enough of it. Plenty OF
sour wine should be used with strips OF salt
pork. Now that Lord Baconsfed no longer
dimes with her majesty, the free use OF pork
will probably offend no one.
After a short season of such varied but
continuous use of the beef the queen will be
surprised at the gratifying results And
the cans. too, can be utilized TO the coun-
try's profit and glory. Bric-a-brac cans will
appear in exclusive drawing rooms; the
labels will be brought out as Teliefs IN va
rious concentrations, and not 10 refer TO
Chicago beef frequently and knowingly
will argue an ignorance Of the correct topic
for small talk. Brides will be charmed 10
receive dozens OF the cans as wedding gifts.
and the queen, in lieu OF the inevitable In
dia shawl bestowed upon wedding occa-
siOns. can unload more beef. When all
these devices are exhausted, II surplus
stock still remains. which is extremely In
probable il is more than likely that the
Chicago firm would throw OF good per-
eentum of the amount Of the bill rendered
for the privilege Of publishing themselves.
Court Gamers and PurveyOrs OF Meats
TO Her Majesty"
All this Of course. In the event OF war
being declared of: but If white-winged
peace should fold its pinions and mourn
fully fly away. as an Oil country editor re-
Gently put IL, then must the stomach
OF English and Indian warriors On
the plans Of Afghanistan come heroicaLiy
TO the rescue. PHILIP H WEIGH