davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
What They,ll GET.

An enterprising journal win wait for time to iy
But the future will discount If its editor is spry;
So peeped into the catalogue of Daddy Santa
Claus
And here we'll give the snap away, if the gentle
reader'll pause.
Banker Ryland in his stocking on to- morrow morn
will see
perfect match was for his present Jay-Eye-
See.
While Frank Barr will find mortgage. in his stock
ing his hat.
With interest per cent and non-taxable at that
T. A. Burr viii find barrel of ST, Aibans spruce
gum fine.
Ira Bellows half gallon of billed cider that is prime
Tom McMahon will find clearance from Grant
county-''square to date;
And Undertaken Barlow summons to the late
Hive swarm
warm.
winnegar viii get uotter that can win farmers
race.
? H. Green will get present OF cosy easy chair,
Aud Frank Schreiner get an order for brand new
head of hair;
VIII MEG. little Office. helping what his salaries
lack
While the Judge will be contented Il he gets his
stockings back
DR. Barberl get focus with his solar microscope,
Prof Wood treatise on the Ultimate Remote.
c. L. Harper'll get deed to Florida orange grove
And Joe Foster get permission sit around the stove
c. II. Baxter, for new goods will receive bill most
sinister.
Jim Kibourn get offer Of thousand for Prime
Minister.
Joe Book with David Schreiner) will get-upon his
H. L. Boughton will get barred from all turkey-shoots
year.
Fred Phelps will get of coal of full 1000 pound
Joe Nathan get bigger mill tie have his sausage
A schmtt viii get Hi; Honors business very wen
in hand
John S Wright an invitation to dinner at the Grand
J P Lewis in his stocking will find an implement.
But cannot fer his life define the for which its
meant.
1t is a hoe, used on farm. and as a compliment
Was by his brother officers of the G. c. A. S. sent)
Joe Mccoy will get the bigges, hog drove into town
since spring,
While the other Joes got all he wants. and will not
get thing.
John Jede in gents tailoring will get the sole control
While Judge Baldwin in his stocking will find an sw-
full hole
And everybody else will get according to their merit
Or if they don't, the only way is just TO 'grin and
bear it,
There Of presents making by fingers that
are def.
But the ever-hungry printer will probably get-eft.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
co the prlyllsge Of beIng gorerned and

for the privilege Of being governed and
protected.
Ex-Gov. Dewey was a caller in the
village on Friday.
Mr. phile Stephens passed through
town upon Saturday on his way 10
Cassville. returning upon Friday. He
reports the uDtimely death Of the noted
predatory street COW Of the village, who
bad acquired reputation extending
far into neighboring towns. and OBJ
tanned By nearly score Of years Of ac-
tive foraging. Her exploits would fill a
volume, bnt have not time now to do
her justice. but will only remark that
"Glenn'' is plum broke up. and the
farmers who trade here are not.
Mr.. Ed. Bushnell, formerly living at
Muscalunge. but for several years past
a resident OF Butte City, Col, is visiting
with his sister. Mrs. Mat, Edwards.
! Not considering my province to act
as "auditor Of public gpssip'' as Tom
Hood puts il, or as police reporter. |
waive all that. and believe | have writ
ten all the news that is worth reading,
and probably more Before another
week has passed away Christmas will
4 have come aud gone. and as it comes
but once year, hope that every read.
er Of THE HERALD will, out of theil
abundance. or their scarcity, try to
make it a Merry Christmas to all around
them, particularly the little folks (did
you ever think how little it takes t.
make q child happy)P AMI that your
charity viii go so far that, If called up
on, you wilt feel ike giving night,
rest or meal even to needy
TRAMP.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
COMMERCIAL.
OUR CHICAGO MARKET REPORT.
CHICAGO. Dec. II. 1885,.

CHICAGO, Dec. Il, 1885.
The retail holiday trade has been un-
usually active for week past, and the
wholesale trade has kept ahead If last
year. Improvements in the iron .rade
and the increased railroad bulldog
point to better times in the near future.
In grain, wheat was more active to-
day, closing at noon at 90l. Receipts
last week 335. 4S4 bushels, a trihe over
one-fouuh Of The corresponding week
last year; shipments, IS, 40. or less than
half for like week Of last year. Cheap
ness of wheat is explained by the fact
hat England is getting an increased
supply from the colonies and from Rus
STA.
Corn to-day is steady, selling at 81,
md at 59l for May. Receipts for the
past week were 964, l26 bushels ship
ments 5l6,074
Oats are steady and quiet Receipts
last week 566,9o9 bushels-shipments
1929. Grain receipts for the day:
Wheat. : carloads winter and IS spring
grades: corn, 33i carloads. oats. I36.
Cattle during the past week sold at
over prices than reached for years.
Receipts last week were 41.202. about
5000 more than for the like week in
1884. 1890 of which were shipped
eastward. The decline last week was
% cents, closing 80 to as cents lower
than two weeks ago. Receipts for to-
day were 1000. and choice lots adj
,anced p cents. The receipts Of hogs
ast week were 275.375. and to-day i5,.
900, weakening prices. Sheep general
" lower, but choice Christmas lots %
| cents higher
Creamery buffers declined to-day to
cents. Potatoes firm. Eggs, in fair
demand for fresh. The poultry market
very weak.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

up wonderfully, our village street being
quite or nearly hlockaded with teams
every day. and our merchants as busy
as they could desire to be the most of
the time. suppose should have writ
ten il merchantesses OF something OF
that sort, as wemenkind are running
all our stores now, and we men are
well, figuring around and making a
living off from the profits, as usual.
Mrs. Anderson has large and COM
plete stock of goods, and with her
clerks is always busy.
Mrs. Bonn has smaller but well Sc
lected stock, and is doing fair busi-
ness, and the same may be said of Miss
Bell Smith, who keeps in addition a
stock of drugs.
The two first named have also a fine
display of holiday goods. as has also
MIR. Bonham, at the postoffice, so the
agents for Santa Claus will have no
trouble in making selections for their
expectant little folks Cor older ones
-ither) the coming Christmas.
The hoop.pole business is still quite
fiourishing, several loads OF hoops being
sent to Lancaster every week.
There is but little mining being done
now; but the "boom' has started, a
firm starting out last week in cutter,
with big dinner buckets, shovel and
picks with painted handles, and every
thing else in good style, necessary to
turn the rocky ridges of Nip and Tuck
bottom side up. May they 'hold out
faithful to the end'' of their ''stake" or
until they strike it big" But | have
my doubts; very serious ones.
DIR. Hartford is very proud and hap
py over big easy, expensive chair
which was presented to him by his
many friends, upon the occasion OF his
wooden wedding last week. While con-
graduating him with the rest, | fear the
result will be to make him indolens, as
have not seen him saw a stick of wood
since he got that chair, and he is be-
ginning already TO complain of his hard
and extensive circuit. and talks of NOV
ing to some large city, like Cassville for
instance, and devote himself wholly to
Office practice. His literary friend
across the street says he can't spare
him, and that when he gets his contrib
ution & papers of IL OF. tacks) worked
into their proper place in that chair,
that Doc. will change his mind and 60
on as usual.
The entertainment on Friday evening
was witnessed by full house. and | am
told gave good satisfaction. Being just
twenty cents short, and no provision
being made for reporters, and nothing
but a tramp anyway, | was not able 10
get in only to the ante-room, SO cannot
either criticise or commend.
Now for those sidewalks and ..elec-
trio lights
The supervisors of the town have de-
cided to rebuild the Shutdown bridge. it
being generally unsound and shaky and
already requiring two more legs to
stand on than such bridges are gener-
ally allowed.
The town clerk has delivered the tax
roll to the town treasurer. Birch, who
Is now ready to receive visits at his Of
fec from those who are PREPARED TO paw
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
Senug.
editor and Chorus Of Printers Deeds. J
FROM THE HERALD's NEW NIKApo.

editor and Chorus Of Printers Deeils,)
FRox TIE HERALD's NEW NIkApo.
As some day II may happen that a vic.
tim must be found,
We've got a little list
We've got q little list
OF the editors tormentors who might
well be underground,
And who never would be missed
Who never would be missed
There's the man who comes and begs
you TO suppress this piece of news.
And the liberal subscriber who never
pays bis dues;
Then the country correspondent who
will tell the when and how
Ut some piece OF private scandal that
gets you in row;
And The annual Spring poet with the
charms he can't resist
or the lovely. gentle Springtime,
We're sure he'd not be missed
CHORUS.
He's got EN- on the list
He's got 'em on the list
And they II none of 'em be missed
They'll none of 'em be missed
Ill.
There's the pestilentlal nuisance, the
female book agent
| We've got her on the list
We've got her on the list
And the men who always criticise but
never pay cent
10 take the paper for themselves;
/ The never wOuld ha naiSeadf
And the ''vile contemporary who in
boastful, blatant tone
Declares no other paper enterprising as
his own;
And the advertising agent who thinks
he's paying dear
With chicken incubator for a column
for year;
The intelligent compositor who gets the
writer's gist,
And improves upon his manuscript
We're sure he'd not be missed!
CHORUS.
iii.
There's certain kind of merchant
whom you never patronize-
We've got him on the list
We've got him on the list!
It's that narrow minded merchant who
will not advertise;
We're sure ned not be missed
Oh no. he'd not be missed,
And the man who stops his paper if YOU
dare express y view
Upon any living subject that isn't his
view too;
And then there's the subscriber who
will pay you in green wood.
And the man who ,cants to pay you, and
would do it if he could;
And the multitude of deadheads that
we've got upon our list
They never would be missed
They never would be missed
CHORUS.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
Special Local Notices.


Rheumatism is primarily caused by
icidity Of the blood Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla purides the blood, and thus cures
the disease l3wI
A GOOD Waltham Watch, stem
Wind and stem-set. with chain, for 81
1t j. II. Baldwin's. 32tf
DR.. FENNER's Golden Relief
ures any pain IN ) to 30 minutes. bruise
n cut without soreness. 31y1
CHOICE Maple Syrup and home
made sorghum, at Joe Nathans. ATT
JOE NATHAN has snow flake Crack
RS as light as a feather. I4if
DIR. FEM Err 5 '.Improyed Cough
ioney" relieves any Cough 10 one hour
r less. SlyI
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

Ar L0GGERIIEADs.-T Milwaukee
sentinel Of Thursday contains the fol-
lowing "Dr. kensington, a recent adj
ditidn to the medical fraternity Of the
city, was refused blank death cerlifi-
Gates Yesterday by DIR. Robert Martin,
health commissioner. on account of
doubts as to the origin of his diploma.
DIR. kcusingten carries sheep.skin is
sued in 1883 BY the Joplin Medical col
legc of Illinois. Dr. Martin looked the
college up in The report of the Illinois
State board Of health and found that its
graduates we're not recognized in Hi
nois as practitioners, and says that the
Joplin college was thrown out of the
list Of those lin good Standing by
them in 1881. DIR, Kensington has now
made application for blanks through
his pastner who probably holds di-
ploma from some other Institution. The
doctor presents change of adv. in an
other column
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

DEAD. Thomas T. Parmelee, late
cashier Of Henrys bank at Plattevllle,
died at Seattle, Washington Territory,
on Tuesday of last week from the effects
Of an accidental gun-sbot wound re-
ceiyed the day previous.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
Thanks.

In behalf of Tom Cox Post Nj 1872.
q, A. X. the committee of arrangements
extend thanks to the good people VIII.
so kindly and literally contributed to
the success ofour campfire. especial,
to Mr.. Geo. T. Goble. who voluntariI,
gave the use Of the supper hall.
The receipts Of the evening exceeded
the expectations of those most sanguine
of success. We must onclude thai
the people are just as true, just as loyal.
just as devoted to the interests of the
old soldiers as they were twenty years
ago.
Dated Dec. %. 1885. Lancaster Wis.
II. BUcHSER
c. IL BAXTER Com.
A G. MoRsE
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

ALLEMAND LEFT.-Of course you
will not forget the ball of the Young
folks and old young folks at Hyde's ball.
Friday i.ight--it is the main thing the
event Of the season. Lancaster's beauty
and chiyalry will gather then, aud
bright the lamps will flicker DER fair
women and brave men.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

RAISED. The freight employees of
the Northwestern road were given a
raisclof wages last week Conductors
now get $50 per month for the first
year they run. $40 for the second year,
and SO per month thereafter Brake
men get SO per month the FIRST year
and $50 per month thereafter. with ex-
ira pas fer all mileage over 1900 mile S
per month.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

FARM FOR SALE.--If anyone wants
to buy a first class farm in the vicinity
of the growing town Of Cassville they
viii find their opportunity among our
new advertisements On local page.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

At meeting of barbed wire manu-
facturers in Chicago last week the price
Of barbed wire was advanced one-half
cent per pound. Common wire had adj
vaneed a trihe and the manufacturers
doubtless feared their profits would fall
short of 700 per cent did they not come
10 tire rescue.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

INJURY.-Mrs. Croft of this city, had
the misfortune to slip and fall on her
doorstep one day last week and sus-
tanned injuries to her shoulder. She is
doing well under the treatment of DR..
Strong.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

w. Blight, of Cuba City, died on
Saturday, the 18th, and was buried at
Hazel Green the following Monday.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

PAINFUL fracture On Thursday
evening last, Berry Auchter, while
standing on Ihair lighting the lamps
in his saloon. pissed his footing. fell
and broke his trm.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
n BURTON STAGE.

LEAVES Lancaster every Tuesday. Thursday and
Saturday 40 a. m. aud Arrives at Burton at
y m.
LEAVES Burton AZ / go p. m. on same days and
Arrives al lancaster at 80 p: m;
SR GREEN, Prop.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

RUNAwAY.s-Mrs. Geo. Gibbs and
Mrs. James Rilbourn were more fright
ened than huf by runaway team with
which they toik sleigh-ride last week.
They walked back, and a man from
Beetown who las walking in, enjoyed
sleigh-ride to own.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

PErPER 70 BE Sailed. A Washing
ton dispatch to the Milwaukee sentinel
says. 1t is thought that there will be an
investigation of Mr.. Pepper, whom the
president has appointed postmaster at
Boscobel. His appointment seems to
be obnoxious to his own party. and
charges are said TO have been made
against him, in the hopes of having the
appointment withdrawn and some
other Democrat substituted.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

We shall publish the highest term
tserages of the different departments in
aext weeks issue.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

The president has appointed Henry
0. Hunt postmaster at Reedsburg and
III. IN Mould at Bararvo
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

Mrs, Wood treated the Second Primary
Department to very pleasant sleigh.
ride on Friday last.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

Found. A brown and white shawl,
with purple fringe. found on the Bee
town road ner Mr.. Dimmock's. has
been left at ibis office by VIM. H.
Burgess.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

At Detroit. Mich. on the 10th, some
unknown fiend murdered Frank Knox,
or Knoch, his wife and two children,
and then set fire to the house to conceal
the crime. AL four of the bodies were
found in the ashes, and it was at first
supposed they had simply buried TO
death, but an examination revealed
bullet holes in the skulls of both Mr..
and Mrs. Knox.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

The United States war vessel Dolphin
has gone away out on the ocean, out
of sight, and no other vessel anywhere
near her
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

4nS'eer IN examination paper: "onc
third of II are 4 one-fourth of 20 are
5; one second of Is are 81
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

In diving to the bottom of pleasure.
we bring up more gravel than pearls. :
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

1t is stated that over nifty per cent. of
the childrel in New York attend school.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
STAGE ROUTES.

LANCASTER PLATTEyILLE STAGE
(Daily.l
LEAVES Lancaster at p. NJ. and Arrives AZ
Platteyillc a. p. m.
LEAyEslPlaitesile az a. N. aud Arrives a Ian
caster az ~ m :. X. GREEN, Prop.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

OUR ADVERTISERS. We would gRd-
ly give space, were it possible, to speaS
of each of our advertisers locally
Their holiday announcements found on
the first page of this paper should be
read by everyone, and we can guarantee
that the public will find the facts ex-
actlY as there represented. The sec.
ond and third pages represent the reg
ular businesssof several firms who have
not made special holiday announce
ments. Thebusiness of Lancaster can
be correctly estimated by perusal of
this number
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

Learning by study must be won;
Twas meier entailed from sire J son.
GAYS Fables.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

VIM. Pitt Lynde, one of the most
prominent lawyers in Milwaukee, died
suddenly on the 18th of fatty degenera-
ton of the heart.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

= Sow thought, reap 4 woed;
Sow word. reap an action;
Sow an action, reap habit;
Sow habit, reap a character;
Sow character, reap destiny
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

Dakota is knocking very loudly at
the door of congress for admission to
the Union as state. and if not invited
in is liable to create scene.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

The First Southern Forestry conven-
ton met at De Funiack Springs, Fla,
on the 10th, with delegates from Louis
lana, South Carolina, North Carolina,
Florida, Georgia, Alabama and Tennes-
see. Kansas. Connecticut and several
other Northern states are also repre-
sented. Gov. Perry, of Florida, deliy-
cred the speech of welcome.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

COMPETITION. We are both shocked
and panied to find in the Mineral Point
Tribune: "rhe Dodgeville, RidgcwaY
and Barneveld stock buyers are getting
down to accusing each other of most
every thing but that which an indus
trious and honest citizen is entitled to. !"
They should come to Lancaster, con-
slider the ways of our stock buyers and
be wise Here the lion and the lamb
lie down together and little child
leads them trumps.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
LANcAsrEn. REETowY 8 .BLooMLNeroN

LEAVES Lancaster every Tuesday. Thursday and
and SATURDAY. az Z a. m ard Arrives at Bloom
inctOn at II m.
LEAVES Bloomington at .. IA. on same days
and ARRIVES al Lancaster az p. 10.
s. JOHNSON, Prop.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

STRIKING TuE LYRE. "A member of
the late county board, in communica-
ton to our sprightly contemporary, The
Bloomington Record, warns the wax
in DR.. Niyian's ears metaphorically
speaking and in the ears Of the entire
State board Of charities and reform
as well. in the matter of the proposed
costly addition TO the county insane
asylum. The writer shows that the
present asylum accommodates all of
Grant county's insane and some thirty
or forty besides. from other counties,
and what the state board proposed was
simply that the county should "embark
the funds Of the taxpayers in the insane
asylum business as speculation. 1t
is quite evident that the county board,
by its action, regards the state board Of
charities and reform as being altogether
too dip.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

Doctors. f. HAssELL. NJ. ID, Office
stone s Hasselrs Drugstore, Lancaster Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

lNsANE.-liast week Mr.. and Mrs. r..
b. Showaltei went to Mendoza and
brought from the asylum there five
Crawford codnty patients. They were
asked to take twenty, but the capacity
OF our asylum has now reached its limit
ard the county congress does not see fit
to enlarge it. The number of insane at
present In the county asylum is ".
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

December is always the most diilicu [
month of the year to secure punctualiiy,
and there has been the past month an
unusual number of cases of tardines.
which were really unavoidable. Fot
these reasons the report is not as GOO
as usual in this respect; but when M
examination is made of the regista
used few years ago, the improvement
which the comparison shows is qaite
gratifying.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24
LANCASTER ( sPEcHT's FERRY STAGE.

tDaiiy.J
LEAVES Lancaster AZ q, m. and ARRIVES ~
Speeht's Ferry al II ~.
LEAVES specific Ferry at p. m and Arrives at
Lancaster at , p. n. GREEN Bros. Props.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

The following is an abstract of tn
statistical report of the Lancaster
schools for the month ending Dec. IS.
1885;
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

There will be new classes in the High
School next term in Astronomy, Geuer-
al History, Natural Philosophy, Physi-
cal Geography. Pedagogics, and per-
maps Bookkeeping. In addition. Of
course, the continued classes including
Grammar, two classes in Arithmetic.
Reading, Spelling, Writing. etc., etc.
1t will be good term for non-residel t
students.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

"Why"' asked the schooI-master in
astonishment, ''ean't you read?"
No" replied the farmer landlord.
throwing a hammer at the hens to re-
mind them that they must get oui of
the corn, mo; fact is l did set out t,
learn to read once, but when though
that should never be able to read !,
ten-theusandth part of the stuff that's
written, gave it up in despair. ~.
Y. Times.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

THE LITTLE GIRLS GEN SEWING
MACHINE. For sale by Barber. McNair
& Co. is toy. but useful one. 1t
does plain sewing well and is the incest
present that can be bought for girl.
The price is only $500
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1885-12-24

Henry Hoyt, a travelling statesmen
living in Chicago, was killed by the
cars one day last week, leaving his
widow who was his second wife, S20,-
900, insurance on his life. He former
ly lived in Platteville, and his first wife
was daughter of j. H. Evans of that
oity