South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-05-01
WIT ND HU OR.


quite shallow enough for comfortable
wading, thank YOU
i TELL You SsE's A BUsTER v-Out
on the Baltino:e & Obis rsilrosd, .
West Virgins coua,ry isd, Who uaa
never before been farther from hi.
home than 10 Grive the cows to pasture,
recently enjoyed the novelty OF short
railroad ,ids with his father to IN adj
joining coanty. The boy Was filed
with wonder usnt At the unfolding sx.
pause OF his native planet. which he had
hitherto supRoscd TO be boun,. ed By
The hills that sbut in the few homes of
his immediate neie hborh hood. With the
wonders OF his trip swelling in him al.
most TO the point OF explosion. on his
return he met his nei ghSor boy jim, to
whom he at once bsgau to unbosom his
surcharged soul q. follows:
i tell you, Jim, IL this ere worlds az
big out THE rother way as she 10 out
this ere way where me and dads been
tell you she's . buster
MEDICAL CoNsuLTArIoN.--Fi Lit.
tie Girl.-'Where has the doctor gone?'
Second Little Girl-'Into the parlor
TO write description of mamma
Third Little Girl.--'Oh, no: he 10
only writing. On .inscriptionlon her. -
Judge.
READY TO SURREEDER.-A VERY
LAUoHAB.E INCIDENT OF THE BULL
RUN FieHT.-'But to change the SUBJ
Ject,' said lawyer friend. That man
who just passed had ::one of the most
amusing adventures that over troub led
fellow. II was a sor: Of absent wit
tedness, as it were. He vas q field Of
fcer at Bull Run, and in the panic lost
his wits. After hard ride be came to
point where he thought there was lit,
tie danger and he 60. off his horse TO
take drink at spring near. He got
down on his knees to bend forward 90
as 10 bring his face down TO the wator
when his spurs gave him en- unexpected
prod. Without locking behind he
jumped to the conclusion that an snemy
had slipped up on lin and had q bayo.
net ready to run him through, 80 he
shouted: Il surrender. l surrender.
Don't shoot' He never heard tho last
OF that, and dare you 10 opon the
question with him pow.'
a cullud chap was hugpin, a sslmon
eolered maid one night when she whis-
persd In bis ear, Il doesn't min yer
huggin' me, Jim. but TO- de Lords sake
don't touch dat bile on de back o. nv
neck
Let 60 my car yelled q passenger
on West Side street car, yesterday.
4 beg your PARDON said the other man,
i thought had hold Of the strap
A Galveston female school.teacher
was on very intimate terms with the
male teacher in the same school. He
was in the habit of strollipg into her
room during the recess. and chatting
with the object OF his affections HE
name was Smith. One day the lady
tencber cndeavored to make the class
comprehend the omnipresence of God.
She explained to them that God was
everywhere. Now, my dear children.
suppose You all 60 out of this room
except myself. and I stay in here. Am
aloher asked the female teacher.
No. exclaimed one Of the little girls.
mr.. Smith will be with you
us shame 10 debar women from
the ballot and yet leave lawyers vote.
Lawyers are fes.males. or course thew
are.
In social conversation with his staff
one Of them asked Gen. Joe job atom
how many times he had been wounded.
He replied, Eight times.' The staff
remarked that he was the most unfor-
tunste General iu this respect that he
had ever known. No, SIR said he,
the most Fortunate; for it was only by
the mercy OF God was not killed upon
either occasion.
A little girl on seeing q p sscock for
the FIRST time remarked what q beautiful
hustle it bad.
The Way He Paid.-An old Ger
man had frequently stated that no was
going to give bis daughter go, 900
after she was married. Although she
was as homsly as a stone fence and
on the shady side Of 35, she lad
lovers three times three, and finally
she gathered in a good.looking young
reprobate. After they had been
married about month it occurred to
the younger member that a motion