The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-04-15
W.T. AND HUsroR.

-i-- N-+-hA @trAfA ttT+ At AN-t -attA "a .|E
/ their honeymoon. He Il wonder vh
50 many people stare at Us. nay dear 2
/ She: No doubt they are wonderiu
what ! coald have seen in YOU. -
Jedg.
One of the good stories about Gran
i that Marshall Jewell once told th
General that Charles summer did ne
believe in the Bible Don wonder.
quickly replied the imperiurbablc Uly-
seS; sumner did not write the Bjol4
-FtterSoa Press.
\ mendieant approached We>
Chester man Ou the cars the other da
and said: Dear sir. have lost mi
lee. 10 which the West Chester maj
replied. As be hurried away. My dea
friend. | have not seen anything of it. o.
-HCs, chester local Ae.rS
My wife has gained >weepin.
victory exclaimed "a breathles- bare
headed citizen s. he emerged upon th-
sidewalk. How so?' inquired
pasSer-by. ''Whv." explained the hat
less Individual. "she has Just driver
me out Of the house with a broom '-
L7ui.Eqsoa Free Press
He never possessed She bu>iue,.
ability of his brother. remarked ol,
Nhortmargins .'Nhy.James defau'te,
for half a million before he had been IN
business five years, and very mucl
doubt if Louis iS in a position 10 dc
fault for a third of that amount to thi.
day. -fHtberg Tt'sgraHh
Minister (after church, You seemed
very much impressed hy my sermon
this morning. Deacon. Deacon lyh,
had dozed through it alI-.'Y-ye>.
waS-er-yey much interested indeed.
but would you mind repeating the text.
The exact words have escaped me. '
Minister He giveth Ills beloved
sleep. -Nsse York sun.
Proud mother do you know. dear.
| believe our baby viii bee a singer
perhaps = great tenor ike Briguoi or
Cam auini?' Tired lajher-..l lie strikes
high G mighty often. ii that's what You
mean. i. M Yes. the tones are SO
sweet and >hrin. l hope We viii Dee
able to have his voice cultivated in
Europe T. F--"Bv Joye, good idea.
Send him now
Visitor Cat Indian SCHOOL, $50 al.
these children are Indians" Teacher
Yes Many OF them are sons and
daughters OF great chiefs Visitor
Nv hat are they doing now Teacher
This Is arithmetic hour. and they
are doing sums Ni~itoF F-.Ah, Yes.
have often heard of Indian Summers. 3"
The silence which followed was only
broken by the whiz of toluahavk>. -
Hijla5etfbja CGH.
How is your mother coming on 2'
asked Mrs. Howard of little johnny
Hunt. who was PLAYING i'm front of his
father's house in Cursicaua. "~he is
feeling mighty blue, replied JOHNNY.
'NhN, what Is the matter with hers"
She invited more than hundred
people to her ball, and every one of I'm
has accepted. No wonder She feels
blue. She allowed half of EN- would
stay away. ~ Ieros Sytiugs
Husband Cat the dinner table)-It
strikes me, my dear. that the new cook
Is not as good A. the old one. Fashion
able Wife NU,her cooking Is very bad
For the past day or two poor littlc Fido
has displayed signs of distress and
attribute it all to her hav ng eaten i'm
properly cooked food. Unless the dear
little thing improves very much within
a very short time / shall certainly make
a change. Detroit Post
Tenuysou's song. Come Into the
Garden, Maud, was rewritten some
fifty times before il was finished -
L0utSrtle Times. Well, the reason
was that Maud wouldn't 90 into the
garden where he was for "a long while.
aoJ ba l-u,,+ "a, cLap..i,..r tt.. .-g..-,.,L
until the grapes got ripe. Then Maud
thought it wouldn't be wrong to 90 in.
She could tell her mother she went in
for some grapes. hfHtucky stois J0Ur.
nat
A venturesome G-ycar-old boy ran
into the forest after the team. and rode
home in triumph on the load When
his exploit was related. his mother asked
him if he was not afraid when the team
was coming down q very steep hill.
Yes. a little, said he. ''but | asked
the Lord to help me, and hung on like
a beaver" " Some pray and do not hang
on; some hang on. but do not pray.
The safe way and right way is to join
PRAYER and labor, faith and works, zeal
and patience. EychdHqs
An agricultural paper informs its
readers that "A hive of bees placed in
the orchard will increase the crop of
apples, as the pollen rubbed off the
bodies of the bees feriiIizes thousands
of blossoms which might otherwise be
barren. We can assure our farmer
friends, however, that one cross dog
placed in the orchard viii increase the
apple crop 80 per cent more than two
hives of bees. \ cross dog will go
right TO the spot quicker than the
pollen. NorrjS,otCH Heraid.
One OF the days in the late star-route
trial in Washington seemed particular
ly uncomfortable all round. Witnesses,
attorneys. court officials. and even the
Judge himself appeared to be in an
unamiable mooi. As Mr.
Ingersoll left the courthouse at lunch
time he passed a horse hitched by the
sidewalk. The animal snapped at him
Jumping quickly out Of the
way, the Colonel fired back at the beast:
"And what court are You Judge Of P"
The incident coming to Judge Wvlie's
ears. he said: .'WeI, IngersoIl has
more horse sense than amy lawyer I
know of.
In the palmy days OF Wabash a citi-
zen Of ST. Louis. who was q large
speculator in the stock. blo-somed out
with q fine residence, fine turn-outs.
diamonds, and wine supper. and when
an old acquaintance asked the secret of
his fortune he replied: why, me and
W Wabash are up The other night a
clad, broken down man asked
for lodgings in a Chicago police station,
and a citizen standing by exclaimed:
"Why, this is Mr.. -, form rly of ST.
Louis how comes this change?i ''W ell.
" abash and me are down" Was the
answer, as he went to his bed on a hard
plank PaH Street Aeus.
Sam Oppenheimer of san Antonio
was one of the passengers on the San
Saba that was robbed a few weeks ago.
''Shel out your money, or off goes the
top Of your head, remarked one of the
robbers, holding pistol under Sam
nose. Three hundred dollars wash
every cent got, so hellup me schiminy
grashus ''Hand EN- over" Sam
did so, keeping back Sc. What are
you keeping back them SO for?" mildly
inquired the robber. pressing his pistol
against Sans head. mine Gott, don't
you let man take out 2 per cent ven
he advances money mitout securities?"
asked Sam.-Tezas sJtings.
a young Chicago man who returned
from Massachus etts three weeks ago
leaves for that state again to-day. he
had the pleasure when East before of
taking a very attractive girl out sleigh
ing. She is young, pretty and rich.
The Chicago blossom has been think
ing about it ever since. 1t appears
that after they had been sriying for an
hour or two she asked him naively:
'.Is it necessary to use both hands in
and be had said: mo, of
course not. / can drive with one hand
as well as with two. Then he did
drive with one hand all the rest of the