The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-04-25
THE COWBOY.
Bill Nye's Idea of the Genesis of tho Fcs-
tive Monarch of the Plains.

tive Monarch of the Plains.
So much amusing talk is being made
recently anent the blood-bedraggled
cowboy of the wild West, that rise as
one man to say few things, not in a
dictatorial style, but regarding this So
called or so-esteemed dry-land pirate
who, mounted on y little cow-pony and
under the black flag, sails out across
the green surge of the plains to scatter
the rocky shores of Time with his fell
bowman.
A great many people wonder where
the cowboy, with his abnormal thirst
for blood, originated. Where did this
Jesse James, with his CORY record and
his dauntless eye come fromP Was he
born in buffalo wallow at the foot of
some rock-ribbed mountain, or did he
first breathe the thin air along the brink
of an alkali pond, where the horned
toad and the centipede sang him to
sleep, and the tarantula tickled him
under the chin with its hairy legsp
Careful research and cold, hard
statistics show that the cowboy was
born in an transformations manner on
the farm. / hate to sit down on n
beautiful romance and squash the breath
out of romantic dream; but the cow
boy who gets too much moist damna-
ton into his system, and rides on q
gallop up and down Main street. shoot,
ING out the lights of the beautiful bill
lard palaces, would be just as happy if
mouse ran up his pantaloons-leg as
| x,o,, would uantla pauAnT
One night, while had rooms in the
business part of territorial city in
the Rocky mountain cattle country,
was awakened at about one o'clocka. m.
by the most blood-curdling cry OF
'murderr' l ever heard. 1t was muir
der with big IN" Across the street.
in the bright light of o restaurant
dozen cowboys with broad som
breros and flashing silver braids, huge
leather chaperaios, Mexican spurs, ant
orange silk neckties; with flashing re
volvers were standing. 1t seemed tina
a big red-faced Captain Kid of thu
band, with his skin full of valley tan
had marched into an ice-cream resor
with a self-cocker in his hand, an,
ordered the vanilla GOODNESS for tn
gang. There being a dozen youni
folks in the place, mostly male and fe
male. from neighboring hop, indule
; ing in cream, the proprietor, NEE
, Norwegian with thin white hail
deemed it rude and Outre to do so. H
: said something to that effect, where's
the other eleven men of alcoholic coui
! age let off yell that froze the creaI
into solid glacier, and shook tw
kerosene lamps out of their sockets |
the chandeliers,
This annoyed the ice-cream agricu
turst, and he took the old axe-handl
he used to jam the ice down aroun
4 the freezer with, and peeled a larg
area of scalp off the leaders dome {
0 thought, and it hung down over h
eyes, so that he could not see to shoe
: with any degree of accuracy.
After he had yelled 'murder!' thrc
y or four times, he fell under an ic
J, cream table, and the mild-eyed Scand
c navian broke silver plated caste
c over the organ of self-esteem, an
= poured red pepper, and salt and vinega
and Halford sauce, and other RELISH
" on the place where the scalp was loos
l. This revived the brave but murderer
r cow-gentleman, and he begged that
e might be allowed to go away.
it The gentle Y. M. G. A. superinten
ent of the ton-stamp ice-cream freeze
d then took the revolyers away from t
10 bold buccaneer and kicked him o
., through show case.
y All cowboys are not sanguinary; b
It out of twenty you will generally fiji
one who is brave when he has his !
-. volvers with him; but when he forg
+ and left his shooters at home on t
II piano, the most tropical violct-ey
~ dude can climb him with the butt Ell
10 of sunilower, and beat his brains o
70 and spatter them all over that scho
district.
In the wild unfettered West, bewa
I'll of the man who never carries arm
l never gets drunk, and always min
ST his own business. He don't go arou
"a shooting out the gas. or intimidatinf
ut kindergarten school; but when bra
ne frontiersman, with revolver in ca
boot and bowie down the back of
neck, insults modest young lady, a
~ needs to be thrown through pla
- glass window and then walked over
?" the populace, call in the silent man W
nv dares to wear clean shirt and hum
IN clothes Me in Puck,