Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1885-07-16
Anu1uruns department.
BILL NYE ON THE FIDDLER, NERO.

Callgula, the emperor, on MS mOCnorS
side, and son of Dominitius Abentobar-
bus, of St. Lawrence county. The above
was really Nero's name, but in the year 90
A. d. his mother married Claudius, and her
son adopted the name of Nero Claudius
Caesar Drusus Germanicus. This name he
was in the habit of wearing during cold
weather, buttoned up in front. During the
hot weather, Nero was all the name he
wore.
In So Nero married Octavia, daughter OF
Claudius and went right to housekeeping
Nero and Octavia did not get along first rate.
Nero soon wearied of his young wife and
finally transferred her to New Jerusalem.
In "a Nero's mother, by concealing the
and doctoring the returns, succeeded in get
ting the steady job of Emperor for Nero at
good salary.
His reign was quite stormy and he was
good, vicarious fighter, and could successful
ly hold mans coat all day while the man
went to the front to get killed. He loved
to 90 out riding over the battle fields as
soon it was safe, in his gorgeously bediz-
ened band chariot, and he didn't care it the
wheels rolled in gore up to the hub provid-
ed it was some other mans gore. 1t gave
him great pleasure to drive about over the
field of carnage and gloat over the dead.
Nero was not great success as an Emperor,
but as gloater he has no rival in history.
Nero's reign was characterized, also, by
the great conhagration and Roman fire.
works of July, Ga, by which two-thirds OF
the city of Rome was destroyed. The en-
peror was charged with starting this fire in
order to get the insurance on stock of dry
goods on Main street.
Instead of taking off his crown, hanging
it up in the hall and helping to put out the
d. L.. n,,x, INra fStSon md
again, Nero took his violin up stairs and
played, 'sI'll Meet You When the Sun
Goes Down." This occasiOned a great
deal of adverse criticism on the part of
those who opposed the administration.
Several persons openly criticised Nero's
policy and then died.
A man in those days would put on his
overcoat in the morning, and tell his wife
not to keep dinner waiting. 81 am going
down town to criticise the Emperor few
moments" he would say. eff I do not get
home in time for dinner, meet me on the
evergreen Shore"
Nero, after the death Of Octavia, married
Poppea Sabina. She died afterward at her
not care so much about being bridegroom,
but the excitement of being a widoWer
always gratified and pleased him.
He was very Jealous monarch, and kept
Rome pretty we'll stirred up during his
reign. If man failed to show up any
where on time his friends would look sadly
at each other and say, "Alas he has criti-
cised Nero"
A man could wrestle with the yellow
fever, or the smallpox, or the Asiatic chole-
ra, and stand chance for recovery, but
when he spoke sarcastically of Nero it was
goodbye John.
&1ox n,
offensive partisan that man would general
door:
"Gone to see the Emperor in relation to charge
of offensive partisanship. Meet meet at the
cemetery at O'Clock"
Finally, Nero overdid this thing and ran
it into the ground. He did not want to be
disliked, so those who disliked him were
killed. This made people timid and muz-
zled the press good deal. a
The Roman papers in those days We're all
on one side. They did not dare to be fear
less and outspoken for fear that Nero would
take out his ad. So they would contine
themselves to the statement that: "The
genial and urbane Afranius Burrhus had
painted his new and recherche picket fence
last week." or, "Our enterprising fellow
townsnlan, Caesar Kersikes, will remove the
tail of his favorite bulldog next week, if
the weather should be auspicious," or
"Miss Agrippina Bangoline, eldest daugh-
ter of Romulus Bangoline, the great Roman
rinkist, will teach the school at Eupatori-
um, Trifoliatum Holler, this summer. She
is highly accomplished young lady, and
good speller."
Nero got more and more fatal as he grew
older, and finally the Romans began to
wonder whether he would not wipe out the
Empire befor he died. His back yard was
full all the time of people who had dropped
in to be killed, so that they could have it OFT
their minds.
Finally Nero himself yielded to the great
strain that had been placed upon him, and,
in the midst of an insurrection in Gaul,
Spain, and Rome itself he fled and killed
himself.
The Romans were very grateful, for Nero's
great croWning act in the killing line, but
thew were dissatisfied because he delayed
it so long, and therefore they refused to
erect tall monument over his remains.
While they admired the royal suicide, and
regarded it as success, they censured
Nero's negligence and poor judgment in
suciding at the wrong end of his reign.
have often wondered what Nero would
have done if he had been Emperor of the
United States for a few weeks and felt as
sensitive to newspaper critlcismas he seems
to have been. Wouldn't it be picnic to
see Nero cross the Jersey ferry to kill off a
a few journalists who had adversely criti-
cised his course? The great violin virtuoso
and Lightweight Roman tyrant would prob
ably 60 home by return mail, wrapped in
tinfoi!, accompanied by a note of regret
from each journalist of New York, closing
with the remark that Sin the midst of life
we are in death, therefore now is the time
to subscriber
On HIS METTLE.-He was telling it to
his Honor at the Police Court yesterday.
Said he: