New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-12-02
She BeCame.nN Mormon.

She Isecame:ar1 Iorl1on.
q dom say that I approve Of Nor
monism, observed the old man as he
chewed away at q fresh quid; ssbut l
owe one o. them 'ere Mormon elders
debt of gratitude / kin never pay
Flows that?n asked one Of the
group.
1Waal, i don't mind tellin' We the
circumstance to while away the time.
Long bout twentYy1ars ago, when
had some shape to me, q widder up
IN the Chenango valley got struck on
me. was mashed on her. It was
sort of mutual fire insurance compa-
ny. Two hours after I first sot eyes
on her she squoze my hand respond
eddy hugging her waist. She called me
her deary. I called her my dovey.
Dang my buttons, if we wasn't en-
gagged IN less n five hours!o
"Was she nicer"
0Um! Shewas an angel! For about
four weeks Twas the happiest man in
York State. 1t seemed as if trod on
air half the time. Bimeby adark shad-
der got up and bumped itself across
my azure sky
tWhat was it?''
"Why, I diskivered that the wilder
had her faults. She had a temper like
an old meat axe; she smoked a pipe:
she walked in her sleep; she believed in
dreams. We had q little tiff, same as
all lovers, and she picked up an old
scythe and run me half mile. Then
begun to claw off,"
"Wanted to break, eh?"
The wust way. She begged my par
don, and called me deary and dovey,
and allowed that 1 was the noblest
Roman on earth, butt insisted that
the silver cord was busted. Then she
sued me for breach o. promise-dam-
ages 100000"
''That was tough"
eyes, sweat over it like a yoke o.
cattle DRAWN in hay. The day the
suit was to be called driv down to the
depot to take the train for the county
seat, and found her there. Shecom
right up an shook hands as if nothin'
had happened, and when we went into
the cars she says, says she:
"John Henry, faint your money
I'm after, but it's you I want
"'Butyou can't have me, Lucy Ann
| answers.
"sMebbe not, but you had no right
to promise me-
''Waal, purity soon looked down
the ear and spies Mormon elder. l
knowed he was, cause I'd seen him in
Attica. He was missionary, sent
out to gather in the harvest. The
harvest had been mighty slim, and he
looked as glum as grasshopper left
behind the drove, Igoes over to him
and softly says:
"'Elder, what of the cause?'
"'Tis a glorious one, he answers.
"And the converts?'
"tRayther skeerce'
essay, Elder, do you want to
make a hundred dollars and a fust-
class convert at the same timer I
axed him.
"'H it ar the Lords will, hesolemn-
ly answers.
"Waal, l sent him over to talk to
Lucy Ann, and in fifteen minutes she
whistles to me. l goes over, and they
was squeezing hands and lookin' ever
lastin' bliss into each other S orbs.
"John Henry says she, "a widder
woman may want money, but she
wants second husband wuss. Let's
dicker.'
"How much to squelch the suit,
Lucy?'
Gimme two hundred?' In twenty
minutes had it all fixed, and in three
days she headed west with the elder"
Ever hear of her afterward?"
"Slightly. About year after Imet
the elder over in the Mohawk valley.
He wouldn't speak to me-"
"'Whence this disdain?' says as
driv him into a fence corner.
"Alas!' signs he, but you were too
good. She broke my jaw, busted my
harem, and kicked so much of the
stuffin' out of Brigham Young's Bible
that we can't find huff scriptur' to
hold a prayer meetin' on. Go away,
designin' villain-go way
HAnd went"