Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1885-03-12
WIT AND HUNIOR.

prohibition State the sheriff would get
lots of valuable pointers by following
that man up.-Barlington Free Press.
The desperate extremities to which
devotees of roller skating are carried Is
shown in the case of young lady at
Watertown who has traded her en-
gagcment ring for $3.50 pair of
skates.-M T. Com. Advertiser.
A monument to Schiller is to be
erected in Lincoln Park, Chicago, and
the contract has been let to parties in
Stuttgart for $500. Poor Schiller!
He never heard of Chicago, and very
few people in Chicago ever heard of
him. o. Hcayune.
Smart and "crisp,,' are the latest
cant terms in London, the former
meaning fashionable, "high-toned," or
exclusive, and the latter signifying an
arrival at the highest apex of "style."
Thus smart people are the upper
ten," and a "crisp" woman is one
clothed in the extremity of the mode.
"Are you aware" asked the parson,
'that you will have to answer for every
idle word at the last dayp" well"
replied the trifler, there's comfort in
that. The trial will last so long that
eternity will have nearly passed, and
therefore ones punishment won't be
so very severe. y Boston Transcript.
Professor Huxley insists that stock
ings of the same size, if of different
colors, are not of the same size at all.
He might as well tell us that stockings
of the same color, if of different sizes,
are not of the same color at all. 1t is
not known how long the Professors
mind has been in this ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
tion. NorTiStO,0n Herald.
They were gliding over the glare sur
face of the ice together, making grace
full sweeps with the glittering blades of
their "clubs." "Ill dare you to make
the fancy figures on ice that l will.
said Reginald. "I'm quite sure, Regy,
my boy, that you could beat me hand
somely at that" replied Algernon.
1.-The fancy figures i make on the ice
generally depend on the particular
plaid pattern there is on my trousers. "
And he Immediately Observation-Disclosures
ford Post.
Friend-'I should think you would
know the prices of all your drugs by
this time" Druggist-''Why, do, of
course" "Then how does il happen
that after you filled that prescription
for that gentleman you spent such a
time looking over that book before you
could tell him the price? You were
trying to find out the cost of the drugs,
weren't you?" 30, no. Twas looking
over commercial directory to find out
how much he could afford to pay."-
Philadelphia CoR.
Candor was a merit the Chancellor
Kent possessed in an eminent degree,
and when upon one occasion he in
formed an individual he detested that
he was pleased 10 meet him, it caused
friend TO express surprise that he
should so diyergc from his known
frankness and sincerity to express
pleasure at meeting such man.
That is all right, my dear SIR" re-
piled the iurist, in his quiet, easy way.
Il was glad TO meet him, but / should
have been very sorry if he was going
our way. "--Aibdny Express.
''Did you advertise for man to do
clipping?' asked rural individual
who had invaded the editors sanctum.
HIM" said the Archimedcs of the
printing office; ''you don't look like
clipper. What have you been working
at?" The intruder toyed with the Of
flee shears and replied: ave been
shearing Steep The editor turned to
his yellow paper again and murmured:
you can get chance at the brokers'
offices down in State street; twelve
dollars and half a clip"
A genius has invented cushion with
a spiral spring, 10 be worn by skaters
where it will do the most good. When
a skater who wears one of these con-
trivances sits down unexpectedly and
in italics. as it were, the spring throws
him right on 10 his feet again, before
he is fully aware that there has been
an accident. Tie other night young
man provided with one OF these inven-
tons fell little too iarl. and the spi-
raj spring reversed him so violently
that the rebound pitched him forward
and broke his nose. He will sue the
inventor for 800 o damages. Norris
town Herald.
"Can you see the stage perfectly
wellp" asked gentleman at the play,
leaning forward TO address the young
lady in front. why, yes, sir, per-
fectly." she replied, turning with some
surprise. Nothing at all in front to
obstruct your viewP' he persisted anx-
iously. mo, sir, nothing" she said,
smiling pleasantly at his evident inter-
est in her welfare. But the next minute
he had an admirable illustration OF the
changeability of wom,r's temper for
she bounced around Indignantly and
angrily tossed her disdainful head when
he murmured politely: II congratulate
you. " S0merriiic Journal.
Two young ladies entered cigar
store and one of them said timidly:
"Have you any choice cigars, sirP Want
them for present" 30 yes, Miss"
replied the tobacconist, 1--WE have any
shoice you like from a cent piece up"
II think j viii take some OF the 1-cent
ones, then, if they are choice. l had
no idea that choice Gig rs were so
cheap. Won't Charlie be delighted?"
she said to her companion as they left
the store. "Poor boy! He is so fond
of choice cigar. and they will taste
all the BETTER" she added, with little
blush, "for having come from me. "
N. Y. Times.
There is in one of the schools of this
city a mischieyious young American OF
African descent who got into trouble
yesterday. He had violated one of the
rules, and his teacher concluded that
his offcnse was grave enough to merit
discipline Mt the hands of the Principal.
Taking firm hold OF the young gentle
man, the teacher accordingly started