Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-04-30
A WHOGPINa EVANGELIST.
Gems from Brother Sam Zones, the
Georgia Preacher Now stirring Up
Tennessee
From the St. Louis GIobe-Democrat

Georgia Preacher Now Stirring Up
Tennessee.
From the st. Louis GIobe-Democrat
We see God all around us. The
mountains are GoE's thoughts up
heaved. The rivers are Gods
thoughts in motion. The oceans are
Gods thoughts embedded The dew
drops are Gods thoughts in pearls.
Ibelieve that the whale swallowed
Jonah, and the only reason I don't
believe that Jonah swallowed the
whale is because the Bible don't say
so.
You don't believe what you don't
understand. Do you understand why
some cows have horns and some are
muley2
You don't believe what you don't
see. Did you ever see your backbone?
The hardest thing for me to believe
are the Ten Commandments and the
Sermon on the Mount.
Custom is the law of fools, and is
running this country.
God pity the man who can't run his
home without deck of cards. He
ought TO have been IN hell long before
he had children born unto him.
| used to dance, but when [ wanted
wife | went to the prayer meeting,
and L beat your sort too.
If any man don't like what [ say,
let him come to me afterward and say
so. and I'll-forgive him.
You dance with this world and
you'll 90 to hell With the world.
have 10 respect for Mahone's poll
tics, but [ like his answer to the
question how much he weighed. He
said: Il weigh ninety-nve pounds,
but ninety pounds of that is back
bone"
Some men think they have back
bone, but it is nothing but cotton
string run up their backs.
There is more religion in laughing
than IN crying. If religion consists
in crying, l have the best boy in the
world.
photographed your own ugliness,
and you sit here and laugh at it. You
ought to be ashamed
[ am a methodist, and want to be
the best one God ever made
When st. Peter said add to your
knowledge temperance he didn't have
reference to you, old red-nosed metho-
dist. Amy man who pretends to be a
Christian and drinks whisky is a great
big old humbug-a two-legged hypo~
critic.
Society is a heartless old wretch,
and it you don't get out of it you Will
got hell with it.
When the doctor says you can't live
but an hour you'll want just such a
preacher as is talking to you.
God bores through the top of a
mans head to his heart. and on down
TO his pocket.
The lawyer who knows as little
about Blackstone and the supreme
court reports as the average Christian
does about The Bible would never have
but one case The sheriff would bel
his next client.
If any of you don't like the way
these services are going there are
three doors-you are cordially asked
to leave.
When your little cups full you can
just back out.
Red liquor and Christianity won't
stay IN the same hide.
In Georgia town q number of girls
married men to reform them, and now
the town is full of little whippoorwill
widows.
How lovely is patient woman.
God pity the man who has a forked-
tongued wife.
The matter Of church doctrine is an
accident. If my mother and Brother
WitherspoOn's mother had snapped
babies, he might have been a Methodist
preacher
The devil is too much of gentle
man to stay where he is not well
come.
The churches of Nashville furnish
whisky to the surrounding country.
Some of your wholesale liquor dealers
belong to the church.
If Brother Barbee would draw the
line where The Lord wants him to
draw it there would not be hundred
men lefl in the church.
The back door of the church ought
to be opened once year and give all
who have not lived up to its rules an
opportunity TO pass out.
Bob Ingersoll (and [ never call his
name without feeling the need of a
disidfectanD says whisky is Gods
worst enemy and the devils best
friend. He is coed authority on that
side.
Whisky is a good thing in It's place,
and that place is IN hell. If I get there
| will drink all [ can get, but I won't
do it here.
A New York prisoner tried to jump
out of a window seventy-fve feet
from the ground He said that ba