The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-10-24
Jim's Investments.
Mark T,Oain, in the Century.

Jim knowed all kinds of signs. He
said he knowed most everything. l
said it looked to me like all the signs
was about bad luck, and so l asked him
if there warn't any good-luck signs. He
says:
s'Mighty few-an' dey ain no use to
body. What you want to know when
good luck's a-comin' for2-want to
keep it Off" And he said: eff you's
got hairy arms en- a hairy breas,' its a
sign you's agwyne to be rich. Well,
dey's some use in sign like dat, 'kase
it's so fur ahead. You see, may be
you's got to be po' long time fust, en-
so you might git discourage en- kill
yo'sef # you didn' know de sign dat
you gwyne to be rich bymeby."
"Have you got hairy arms and a
hairy breast, Jim 2"
"What's de use to ak dat question ?
Don't you see has7"
ssWell, are you rich2'
"No; but ben rich wunst, and gwyne
to be rich agin. Wunst l had fo'teen
dollars, but l tuck to speculat'n', en-
got busted out"
"What did you speculate in, Jim ?"
"Well, fust l tackled stock"
"What kind of stock?"
"Why, live stock. Cattle, you know.
l put ten dollars in a cow. But l amt
gwyne to resk no mo- money in stock.
De cow up N died on my hans"
$50 you lost the ten dollars?"
"No; l didn't lose it all. 1 on'y
los bout nine of it. l sole de hide en-
taller for a dollar en- ten cents
"You had five dollars and ten cents
left. Did you speculate any more?"
eyes. You know dat one-laigged
niger dat b'longs to ole Misto Brad
ish? Well, he sot up bank, en- say any
body dat put in dollar would git fo'
dollars mo- at de en- er de year. Well,
all de niggers went in, but dey didn'
have much. 1 was the on'y one dat had
much. So 1 stuck out for mo- dan fo'
dollars, en- I said # didn' git it I'd
start bank mysef. Well, O. course dat
niger want to keep me out er de busi-
ness, bekase he say dey warn't business
'nough for two banks, so he say could
put in my five dollars en- he pay me
thirty-five at de en- er de year.
$50 l done it. Den I reck'n'd I'd
inves' de thirty-five dollars right off en-
keep things a-mowin'. Dey wuz mig
ger name Bob, dat had ketched a
wood flat, en- his marster didn' know
it; en- I bought it off'n him, en- told
him to take de thirty-fve dollars when
de en- er de year come; but somebody
stole de wood-fat dat night, en- mex
day de one-laigged niger say de banks
busted. So dey didn' none of US git
no money"
"What did you do with the ten cents,
Jim7"
"Well, 1 'uz gwyne to spen' it, but ]
had dream, en- de dream tole me tel
give it to a niger name Balum-
Balum's Ass dey call him, for short
he's one er dem chuckle-heads, you
know. But he's lucky, dey say, en-
see 1 warn't lucky. De dream say LEI
Balum inves' de ten cents en- he'd make
raise for me. Well, Balum he tucl
de money, en- when he wuz in church
he hear de preacher say dat whoever
give to de po' lem to de Lord, er
/ boun' to git his money back hund'd
times. So Balum he tuck en- give de
ten cents to de po' en- laid low to SEE
what wuz gwine to come of it."
"Well, what did come of it, Jim?'
"Nuffin' never come of it. l couldn't
manage to k'leck dat money no way
en- Balum he couldn'. ain gwyne tc
len no mo money, 'dout 1 see de Sc
curity. Boun' to git yo' money back
hund'd times, de preacher sayl Eff
could git de ten cents back, I'd call il
squah, en- be glad er de chanst."
"Well, it's all right anyway, Jim,
long as you're going to be rich again
some time or other.
"Yes-en rs rich now, come to looE
at it. I owns myself, en- rs wuth eigh
hund'd dollars. But live stocks too
resky, Huck. 1 wisht l had de elgh
hund'd dollars, en- somebody else hac
| de nippern