The Bad Lands cow boy. [volume] (Little Missouri, Dakota [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-1886, 1885-06-04
For This are We Doctors.

AZ. nave dutl pam IN my head near.
y all the time, and q pressed feeling In
Emy chest ;my food distresses me; I'm
spirited, tired and languid. IN
short, I'm completely broken up. I'm
very careful about eating, and thought
eat graham brend exclusively, I have
an uncomfortable feeling here IN the
chest after every meal.
i Doctor All! h 7 suspected as much.
MY dear sir, don't you know that
graham bread ia the very worst thing
you can put into your stomach ~
Patient "Why, doctor, T always
thought -
Doctor Of course you. did; and SO.
do thousands Of other people; but new
Eertheless it's bad for you. How can any
man, no matter how well he may be, di.
gest good-shavingsP And that's what
graham bread is-a good part Of it..
No you can't digest il, and it lies in your
stomach, where it irritates and causes
everything you eat to, ferment and
evolve gas which causes that pressed,
feeling in your chest" - g 5.s .lf:s
Patient -"But what must I eat ~
Doctor white bread is good enough
for me, and it's good enough for you.
In fact, it's Just what you need. WHIST
do you drink with your meals ?'' 81 &
Patient aI used to drink tea and
coffee, but I thought they hurt me, and
now drink water exclusively n III
Y Doctor-''"sNo wonder you don't feel
we'll Do you know, .siir,s that there ia
nothing SO hurtful to health as this ey-
erlasting drinking of cold water? Why.
Sir, it congeals the fat about the stom-
ach, retarding digesting and ,impoy..
!erishingl the blood. 3 You'll, have
TO stop that right of. As little warm !
tea or coffee won't hurt you hundredth
part as much as q goblet Of ice water,
On the contrary, it supplies Just the
needed stimulus, and aids in the assimi.
lationf Of food. You're teetotaler, L
suppose ~, iit'!fl.5 t55E;,all 4
Patient Well, yes ); that is to say
Doctor II understand. You are con-
scientifically averse to drinking but if it
was essential toyou health you wouldn't
offer any foolish obi ections?n 30,
Patient ~ No, I don't suppose I
should, # it were reaIly necessary. =
y Doctor ell I want you to- get
some pure whisky, and drink q wine
glassful, SOY, four times day, be.
fore meals and upon retiring. iii YOU
have that dull feeling iat any other time,
you can take 9, dose; ii won't hurt you,
never fear. y 4 4 Is Ss n 81.
Patient How about my smoking;
Must ! Quit that p9 ''.
Doctor: N o indeed. It aids digestion
and soothes the nerves. Smoke all you
want to. You don't nee ANY medicine!
Leave off your graham bread and cold
water, and that, Will; tile whisky, will
fetch you round all right. Come and see
me again ina week. = isSf il 4
Patient How much, doctor9 I might
as we'll pay you as I go along.
Doctor i've dollars, please. ThanB
.you. !" NJ Isl. 81;
Patient food day, doctor. =
Doctor =: !" Good day, ,ssiir sir. 4 a5s
Patient oliloquizing as he walks
away DR.. Smart is o sensible man.
very sensible mar. He Understands my.
symptoms exactly He talks Ikea man
who knows his business. 2
Dootor-"Ah, Mr.. Brown, how, d. ye
do? Not sick, I hope 2" i25zs 3i*5 ar
Patient Well, no, not sick exactly;
but I don't feel Just right: Food dis /.
tresses me, you know; troubled with
dull pain in my head and q pressed
feeling in my chest; am tired, ianguid
and low-spirited. s$-l.
Doctor TIN afraid ron eat too much
white bread 4: = 3
me ?"'& S's
Doctor IN o. indeed; worse thing
you can eat..p III ,Sssl 81 s:s3l s;s
Patient But what shall i eat2
They Say graham bread isn't 60 whole +
some as it has been crack Red up tor be. =
Doctor onsensel An old woman's
notion; nothing else, assure you.
White bread contains starch, but 1T
hasn't any gluten and gluten, youknow
one must have it; if lie would be well.
Graham flour contains both starch. and !:
gluten. It fis q perfect food, and it's
just what you require. y ,35|S
Patient But they say il Is the greater:
part woody fibre.
Doctor 90 Ali the woody fibre you'll
lind in graham -four wouldn't hurt q :
flea. Leave off your white bread and
eat nothing but graham. That's the
tirst thing. Now, what do you drink:?n
Patient Tea and coffee. =
Doctor o wonder you are bilious. .
! shall ask you to give up your tea and
coffee and take water instead. ~ " 81 KS
Z Patient But I always supposed that
cold drink ~ Nj q;
Doctor Another allacsyy. Water is
Natures. own beverage. Who ever
heard of an animal suffering from Bill
business : You never drink any alcholioS
stimulants eh ~ n
Patient N ever drank q drop 81
spirit II; in my life; Don't believe IN IL
Doctor Glad to hear that. Az:
Oohol is q yirulent poison, and 4 hall sst l
/ the people who come TO me- are sD I'M
pregnated with it that it is almost i'm
possible to do any thing for them. /,
can help them, bnt that ali, When q
drinking man Gomez to mo- II 1, i make Inn
forsake his cups before r undertake his 1
case. Better q man should die in his
right mind, you know, than live . cen III
tury hall. fuddled IN, l1a, ha +,
Patient he, he. hei & just 80, doc.
tor, Just 90.
bacco z" 81
Patient 81, and twouldn't To-
save my life. Ell is ssss 81
Docter does me- good 10 hear
you say that. Tobacco never did any
body any good. and III reasonable for