Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-08-26
PLEASANTRIES.

man who swings his cane on the side
walk or the man who sits sideways
on the cars? Or is it the same man?
philadelphia Call.
IT has been ascertained that the
Welsh word "Salmanyrelwysnyra-
malvch" does not mean "Sam had a.
lively wrestle with culture" but
t'psalms OF the church in the desert. !"
Fix.
THERE are times in a mans life when
the whole sky seems rose-colored, and
this old, dull world paradise. One
OF these is when he has discovered q
quarter in the lining of his last sum-
mer's vest.
HUNGRY-LOoKING Tramp to Timid
Fisherman-How long since you had
bite? Timid Fisherman-About
two hours. Tramp have not had
a bite in two days. Amt it time for
us to have some lunch?
NOTHING so piques a thrifty woman's
curiosity and enrages her so as to
have newsboy fleet adown the street
about 11:3O A. NJ. believing: "Eres-
yerextry! Turole woggle woggle loo!
All bout splision'n death at eresyer-
extryl !"
"YEs, indeed; Brown is very sick
man." when was he takenil ?" eyes
terday morning ] was called to attend
him." "Ah! that accounts for it.
And now those two physicians pass
each other as perfect strangers.-BOS-
ton Post.
A COLLEGE professor claims that a
woman is not capable of persistent
effort. She hain't, hey? Wonder if
that professor ever watched her after
she had made up her mind to find out
they came from?-BostOn Post.
Young Miss Boston to Harvard
oarsman; 81 suppose you have read
George Ehot's Mill on the Floss ?"
FL. o. suddenly Interested -"Well,
now. it's funny [ never heard of it,
and l read all the sporting papers,
too. Was George knocked out"
SHE (impatiently)-"Oh, George,
dear! How you do smokel Do you buy
your cigars by the hundredweight, or
by the ton?" He lever patient 1.-THE
former, love, | suppose, asI buy them
by the hundred, and the man waits
for his money. "-L0ndon Punch.
IN anticipation OF a large influx of
country people on circus day, an en-
terprising DansYille merchant strung
the following suggestive sign across
the walk in front Of his grocery store:
F'Don't 60 somewhere else to be
swindled; walk in here."- Harper's
Bazaar.
''WHAT's your weight now, john"
inquired a friend of Mr.. Caution. IF
you mean my wait on that box of CT
CARS | won from you on the election"
replied Mr.. Caution in the modest
manner that distinguishes him, sit
has been about eight months. y
Pittsburg Chronicle.
$50 you expect to 60 into the coun-
try soon, Miss Gushington?" EYES,"
she replied, ''we are to visit Uncle
James, and he has such a delightful
house, with the wide porch all COW
cred with trellis vines, and grape vines
and bovines-I can scarcely wait for
the time to start.-The Sun.
AN Italian scientist says that
wrinkles depend mainly on the fascic-
III which form the recticular part of
the dermis." We always supposed
that age had more to do with it than
the fascicuH. Persons who would es-
cape wrinkles, it would seem, must
first get rid of that italic thing.-Nor-
ristOwn Herald.
CENTRAL PARK EPISODE; or keep off
the grass. Little girl-''Ma, that little
bird wouldn'tgo on thegrassi if it knew
that that man was a policeman,
would it?" Policeman = 'Shall [
brake livery bone in her body wild me
club, or shall I consider the soorce,
and pass it by wild silent contimpt ?"
Texas Sifttiings.
The emperor of Anam puts the
state funds into hollow logs, which are
then sealed up and deposited in the
ponds where the royal crocodiles are
kept. It looks like Advantageous
mode Of keeping money, but it is an
established fact that none Of the en-,
peror's financial agents are spending a
season in Canada.-NOrristO Her
aid.
MISTRESS of the house. Greatly, I
don't know what to order for dinner,
Elsa. It's the same old thing, week in
and week out-roast beef yesterday,
11COS41 NO-CcNJ 1I1IAOOO41 UO-111O11OWS IcocI1
next day" Kindly German aid IRE
cent Importation Ivy dom you hef
a leedle shange, ma an-hef der hash
der first day, amt it?"-F7iegende
Blatt6r.
CLARA BRINKERHOFF, writing on sing
ing, says: every one, whether aware
of it or not, has an octave, or eight
notes, in her or his voice to singwith."
1t is mighty good thing that some of
them are not aware of it. They might
attempt to sing; and those who heard
them would think that, instead of an
octave, it was a cross-cut saw they
had in their voice.-NorristoWn Her
aid.
"YoU say there is no timber on the
cattle ranges ?" asked the professor.
Not a BUSH" replied the cowboy,
.'not a twig." "No coal;no driftwood
in the streams; no fuel Of any kind ?"
.'Not a chip" was the reply. '"Then
how do you cook your meals ?" "On
the range calmly replied the good