davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-02-21
HUMOROUS.

u hiOnue - The ara..
world.
The latest thing in stockings i.
hired girl on Sunday nights
A bone of contentiOn-Th, 81
bone. 81
Expensive sweetmeats = ITn.I
words.
The owner of an oil well ma, 1
said to live on the fat of the lana
Would it be just to say that al N
sicians partially get their livin
pill-age?
1t takes a pretty smart phrepS,,
to tell what is in a barrel by e,,ss
ing it head.
According to the doctrine i
survival of the fittest, the lat
will undoubtedly be a tailor.
Miss Florence. do you Ioysbas
"Am l to consider that as a prop
sir ?" was the lady's quick retOh
In Iceland poets are called SEA
undoubtedly because they wu
the appearance of having been III
water.
always go to bed on cracia
crust of bread" says a hygienicVA
Most people would prefer to goh
on a clean sheet.
What's the difference betyma
lower part of the leg and last Tw
comet? Ones shin and bone aHi b
others been and shone.
Parlor comedy-What's the nate
dearp What makes everybOdynk
solemn? Arabella: Sh, sh; Johs
humorist is going to give a redia
weren't you Wilson's family PA
clan ?" EYES," replied the dT
'but / lost him." "Ah that's y
"Yes," responded the doctor, VII
sigh. "ETe got we'll"
as the bowling of a dog as
followed by death p asked allIts
of her father. "Not always, ny
Sometimes the man that shoots =
dog misses him." was the PropP
ply.
When a young couple west .
Rocky Mountains run away saa
married the sporting Journals y
to it in big headline letters y
Pacific Slope"
"What Ais this Heart Of hlh'
the title of a song that IS an
very popular. A young frleno''
that the writer of the song ~
saw his girl out riding wiz
fellow.
Touching extract from
"Casting herself between DE-
and his intended victim, the =
exclaimed in a voice that VlO'A~
agony: "RodoIphO, do not y
for If you did, he would sure
Asking too much: Aged E''
"If | could make up my mln'S
again I would take a young y
would love as long as sne h'~
did friend" You are asking
you may be thankful if you =
that win love you as long S r
of Won would be truly h'P'
dear, /" said one lady to sDO
win have neither eyes moi :, !.
your husband comes nom. 81
the club" Eyes, | know :, !.
the other, YEARLY. "Du' We
do with my nose"
4 fond father presented :
year-old boy with t a'.na'.
which he was greatly inia'a -.
day the boy footed AVA
and at bedtime when Dis -
say bis prayers. the li''i -, u
: Oh, no; III tell you ~ 4
-andma; Jon pray en-
1.lornsmwn
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-02-21


his arrival would be delightful sur
prise for the family. He had his
latch-key with him, and he quite
chuckled over the thought of letting
himself in and being found snug in
bed next morning.
aWon't there be timer said he to
himself. "Ma'n scream. The girls-I
can hear 'em laugh. And Sam will
pretend MOTTO be astonished- ha. Ia.
hag'
So. with his portmanteau in his
hand. Mr.. Jones. having reached
home. assembled the steps of his domi-
cile and deliberately but softly pro-
ceeded TO open his front door.
AS he did so the alarm was sprung.
racket and jingle filled the house.
and simultaneously with that. Mrs
Jones. the Misses Jones, Master Jones,
the cook. the chambermaid, and the
waiter thrust their heads out of their
respective windows and screamed
"Policel"
Almost as they did so two clubs
struck the pavement and two giants
in uniform seized Mr.. Jones by the
arms.
"Ah. got you this time" cried one
of them. "We've been looking for
you for some time, too.
"Let me go" said Mr.. Jones. Of
live here. It's mistake"
@Yes. I've no doubt it's mistake"
said the policeman.
.But tell them tell them: let me
offer proof" pleaded Mr.. Jones.
'sThey all know me; tell them its Mr..
JONES'
HE says it's Mr.. JONES'" cried the
policeman to nightcap and shawl at
the window.
my husband is in Chicago" said
Mrs. Jones.
But she peeped out nervously.
However. she did not recognize her
husband. Mr.. Jones had left home In
tall hat and overcoat, but during
his absence he had unfortunately pur-
chased travelling ''ulster" that touched
his heels, and cap. He wore both,
as was natural upon midnight jour
ney.
mo. I never saw that object before.
said Mrs. Jones. '.DO take him away"
you'll appear tomorrow said
the policeman. you'll appear against
him, ma'am?"
Decidedly. shall consider it my
duty" said the lady, and shut the
window.
Then Jones demonstrated with the
policeman, and begged him to have
Mr.. Smith next door called, and was
told to hold his tongue. Jones was not
mild man. In a few minutes his
wrath boiled over; he attacked the po-
liceman with his umbrella bravely and
was totally defeated. He arrived at
the station-house with black eye and
a bruise on his forehead, and frothing
at the mouth with rage. and was
ocked up after having been recognized
by several experts as Tommy the
Taper" noted burglar, for whose
arrest a large reward was offered.
His valise was taken away from him,
also bis watch and pocket-boOk. He
was shut up,in cell with an intoxi-
Gated tramp who had arrived at that
stage OF delirium tremens at which
snakes are the favorite delusion, and
who took poor Mr.. Jones for one. or
several of them, and insisted on tread
ing on his head.
In argument and single combat
with this gentleman Mr.. Jones passed
the hours until morning, when he was
taken from his highly perfumsd Sc
questration and dragged through the
bleak streets to . court Of justice,
where he attempted to explain matters
once more, and was still explaining
them without producing the slightest
effect upon any one, when his wife
and SON arrived.
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1885-02-05
ADVICE TO MOTHERS.

Are you disturbed at night and broken of your rest
by sick child suffering and crying with pain of cut
ting teeth If so. send at once and get bottle Of
MI. wias!ews Settling Syrup &c. chilasen Teathing
Its value Is incalcuable. II will relieve the poor
little sufferer Immediately Depend upon It. mothers
there Is no mistake about It. 1t cures dysenery and
disrrhoea regulates the stomach and bowels, cures
wind collie, softens the gums reduces Inflammation
and gives tone and energy TO the whole system
gss wnslevs Settling Syrup for ch;larsa Testhiag Is
pleasant the taste, and is the prescription OF one
of the oldest and best female nurses and
In the United States. anu Is for sale by all druggists
throughout the world. Price Is cents bottle
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1885-02-05
An Answer Wanted.

Can any one bring case Of Kidney or Liver
Complaint that Electric Bitters will not speedily
cure We say they can not, as thousands Of cases
already permanently cured and who are daily recon-
mending Electric Bitters, will prove. Erighs Dis
ease Diabetes. Weak Back, or any urinary complaint
quickly cured. They purify the blood, regulate the
bowels and act directly the diseased parts. Every
bottle guaranteed For sale at 50 cents bottle al
Metropolitan Drug Store.
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1885-02-05
NEW BARBER SHOP.
JACKSON TUBS

Has opened up Barber Shop on West Dennlson
Street. McCool, Neb where he is able TO do Shaving.
Hair Dressing etc., ct all times. Ladies and child
ren's hair dressing q speciality. all and become
acouainted JACKSON TUBS.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
SCOTLAND NECK, HALIFAX N.

not require such aids. The wimple ap-
pears to have been development of the
hood or capuchon, which the women wore
as we'll as the men. In the thirteenth
century they fastened vail round the
capuchon, and the part of the head dress
left unvailed was called the guimpe, or
wimple 1t was made of fine white
linen, and came to be worn right over
the chin and swathed round the throat.
Sometimes it was drawn still higher,
and the vail being dropped as low as the
eyebrows, it became a tolerably good
disguise. At first little lock of hair
was worn on each side of the temple, but
as the Fourteenth Century advanced it
vanished The hair was still dressed in
plaits and twists, ard might be seen
under the folds of the white linen. In a
statue of the widow of a count of Flan-
ders, killed at Crecy, originally in the
cathedral of St. Denis the vail is almost
fitted to the shape of the head and face
by stiff border of fine pleats, the lower
part falling in exactly arranged folds
over the dress, while the wimple passes
over the chin and throat; and similar
fashion obtained in Germany. Later on
the vail was drawn together under the
chin, and lappets became more ample.
Have we not here the origin of the wild
ow's cap? To realize its likeness, one
ought to recall its form quarter OF a
century back. MaQaziQe of Art.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
How Ladies Should Ride.

The horsewoman should sit so that the
weight of the body falls exactly in the
centre of the saddle, without heavily
bearing on the stirrup, able to grasp the
upright pommel with the right knee, and
press against the ''hunting horn with
her left knee, yet not exerting any mus
cular action for that purpose. For this
end the stirrup leather must be neither
too long nor too short. The ideal of a
fine horsewoman is to be erect without
being rigid, square to the front and,
until quito at home in the saddle, look
ing religiously between her horses ears.
The shoulders must, therefore, be square,
but thrown back little so as to expand
the chest and make a hollow waist,
''such as is observed in waltZing," but
always flexible. On the fiexibility of the
person above the waist and on the firm
ness below all the grace of equestr:anism
all the safety..depends. Nervousness
makes both men and women poke their
heads forwards stupid trick i'll a man,
objectionable in woman. A lady
should bend like willow in storm, al
ways returning to an easy yet nearly up
right position. This seat should be ac-
quired while the lady's horse is led, first
ly hand, then with leading stick and
finally with luncheon rein, which will
give room for cantering in circles. But
where the pupil is encountered with
reins, whip and directions for guiding
her horse she may be excused for forget
ing all about her seat or her position.
The arms down to the elbows should
hang loosely near, but not fixed to the
sides, and the hands, in the absence of
reins, may rest in front of the waist
Philadelphia Times. -
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
Monday Luck.

Friday, as everyone knows, has for
many years been regarded by many as
an unlucky day. But there are other
1.ays of the week which are regarded as
more or less unlucky, and not a few look
upon Mondays as indicative of what
they may expect during the following
days of the week as to their business.
There is large class who will bemoan
a dull Monday, and some of them will
court good luck by selling to the first
customer who appears Monday morning
at nominal figure. Others have for
various reasons selected other days OF
the week as lucky or unlucky: From
the number of marriages on Thursdays
and Tuesdaysit would appear that those
days are regarded as happy ones by the
matrimoniaIly inclined. The question
of the influence particular days may
have upon the luck of couple does not,
however, appear to enter the minds of
those who run away from their homes for
the purpose of marrying. = Washington
,CfrT
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
Old Fashions i'm Hair Dressing.

Toward the end of the thirteenth cen
tury in France, under Philip the Fair,
the head dress was nothing more than a
simple arrangement of the hair. This
mode came from Italy, where simple and
elegant head dressing was the fashion
during the middle ages. In the first
style adopted the parting passed over
the head from one ear to the other, the
front portion of the hair being carried
to the forehead and frizzed, while the
latter part was divided into two long
plaits. which, being crossed over the
neck, were made to meet again at the
top of the forehead, and formed diadem
of hair.
A rather curious arrangement of the
hair came into vogue in 1880. The hair
was parted in the mid ddle, Two very short
side of the forehead the two hind plaits
were then crossed and brought under the
ears up the sides of the face, being fas-
tened among the hair, which hung
loosely on the sides of the head In 1340
the two plaits were carried up the sides of
the face, having between them and the
cheeks a long piece of straight hair
cut squarely to the length Of the plaits.
IN Cn6 ITcSCOcS OF the CQdPel Oh SC. Otc.
phen's, Westminster, Queen Philippa and
her three daughters were represented
with their hair thus arranged. This
fashion produced very stiff and ugly
result, and the next was little better.
The front and back hair having been di-
viled into two tresses, the skull was
covered with a Golf, and the front tresses
each carried under the ears and made
into large rolls, while the back hair was
brought forward over the border of the
Golf. The result was to produce two
great bosses of hair, resembling short
horns. on either side of the head. An
Eng .ish Royal MS, of the date of 1885,
says: ''What shall we say of the ladies
when they come to festiyals2 They look
at each others heads, and carry bosses
like horned beasts. If any one be with
out. she is an object of scandal
The dependence on hair led those who
had not good supply to have recourse
to artificial additions. But during the
fourteenth century there was 2. reaction
against this practice. the womI, adopt
ing for time the wimple. which did
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
The Latest Agonics i'm Fans.

Japanese aud Indian fans are the rage
this season. The newest Japanese fan
shown is called the 'tNing- -po," and is
made the exact shape palm leaf grows,
with the stick coming down one side, so
that it will be more for ornament than
use. The leaf is left plain or ornament
ed with hand painting, great bow of
satin ribbon being fastened to the han
die. This same shape, which is destined
to be very popular, is made up in the
most exquisite of gauzes and laces,
hand painted with delicate flowers, the
stick gilded or made of carved ivory.
Some curious little folding fans, made of
paper. have four sticks, each one highly
carved, with two lines of Japanese
poetry. Larger folding fans of silk are
fringed with gold tinsel or feather
trimming, and on many of them arc
heavy embroiderics instead of paintings.
Umbrella fans, in feathers and satin,
imported from China. are among the
novelties shown. A very pretty one
made out of pale blue and pink feathers
closes up like an umbrella. When
opened the stick of colored sandalwood
is pressed to one side and make a per-
feet round fan. The inside is lined with
pure white feathers
Indian fans are coming more into favor
every season. They make very curious
fans of feathers and braided straw. These
little round fans of fine braided straw
will be used at all the resorts this sum-
mer. The tops arc run with ribbon of
any color. They are light, useful and
pretty. Eagle feather fans with queer
Indian markings in gilt are very pretty.
Some will sell for fifty dollars.-Ne~
York Journal.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
FOR FEMININE READERS
Beautiful mt Four Score.

And old lady over eighty years of age,
and who was once a great beauty, died
recently in Paris, leaving after her a
diary in which she endeavors to show up
the alleged vanity of women. From the
age of twenty to thirty she spent three
hours day at her toilet, which footsup
for the period one year ninety-one days
and six hours employed in dressing her
hair, powdering her cheeks and painting
her lips. From thirty to fifty the toilet
labors amounted to five hours day, the
extra hours being consecrated to cover
ing up the tracks of time. including the
obliteration of crows feet and other
necessary filling in and grading. Time,
four years and forty days. After fifty
her efforts had to be redoubled. To the
last she resisted the effects of time.
-Chicago Herald.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
NUMBER "a.
THE IRONY OF TIME

Ii we could resurrect the years again
When life is on the wane-
II we could learn by many bitter truth
The value of our youth
Ire the inexorable hand of time
Has harvested our prime.
How we should drain from every flower wa
The last drop of its sweet!
We scorn the present hour and strive to Dor.
Some forestate of the morrow;
Ihe morrow has its sorrow and the pain
OF hope deferred again;
so waste the years till age, defeated, stands
Desolate, with empty hands.
4>lgrims on paths our fathers trod before
We trace their footsteps DER
On every height, in every vale we meet
Signs of their toiling feet,
dashed On the rook and wounded by the
Where we are stung and torn
What was it that they soughts Oh, burning
eyes!
Fixed on low western skies,
The becs.aning shapes that seem SO fair to
Wear the same dazzling hue
That lured the Vikings through tempestuous
seas
Beyond the Hebrides,
Toward purple isles of peace and golden
lands,
To die on freezing strands.
lime has no precious treasure stored away
Beyond our grasp to day;
Earth has no secret garden of delight
Hid from our aching sight.
Too late we learn the humble highway flower
Is life's best gift and DOVER
The light that kindles in meek, maiden eyes
Is loves divinest guisc;
Too late! too late we find there is no more
On any sea or shore
Than those rich offerings we have over
throw
Pursuing the unknown,
Nor any road by which we can attain
Youths vanished grace again.
Charles l.. HitdreM, in New York World.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
A New canon of Death.

A London correspondent of the New
York Times describes new weapon to
be seen at the Inventors exhibition, re.
Gently opened in that city, which in its
capacity for the destruction of life bids
fair to excel anything now used in war
fare. It is the invention of Mr.. Maxim,
an American.
Conceive weapon, says the CORE
spondent, Weighing only sixty five
pounds, mounted upon tripod, which
can be lowered, raised, moved laterally
with one hand as easily as a garden hose,
and which pours out automatically 900
shots minute!
1.-THE basis of it all is the utilization
of the receil force to fire the next shot.
Each time the recoil energy, instead of
being wasted in kicking the gun over,
is used to eject the empty cartridge, and
fire it. The cartridges are taken in from
the bottom in a chain, just as the per-
fecting press takes paper from the roll.
Each of these chains has 333 cartridges
packed in box which is set in groove
under the gun. The operator has simply
to start the gun-a matter of seven
turns of the hammer crank-and then,
when the chain of cartridges is nearly
exhausted, fasten new chain to the
hook at the end and push out the old
box with new, full one. For the rest
he can devote his attention solely to
training the weapon.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
Divorces Of the World.

The following particulars as to the
methods of securing divorces in differ
ent countries are intere sting:
Siamese-The first wife may be di-
vorced, not sold, as the others may be.
She then may claim the first, third and
fifth child, and the alternate children
are yielded to the husband
Arctic region-When a man desires a
divorce he leaves the house in anger and
does not return for several days. The
wife understands the hint, packs her
clothes and leaves.
Tartar-The husband may put away
his partner and seek another when it
p.eases him, and the wife NAV do the
same. If she be ill-trcated she complains
to the magistrate, who, attended by the
principal people, accompanies her to the
house and rronounces formal divorce.
Chinese are allowed in all
cases of criminality, mutual dislikes,
jealousy, incompatibility of temper. or
too much loquacity on the part of the
wife. The husband cannot sell his wife
until she leaves him and becomes a slave
to him by action of the law for deser-
ton. A son is bound to divorce his wife
if she displeases his parents.
Javaus-If the wife be dissatisfied she
can obtain divorce by paying a certain
sum.
hibetans-Divorces are seldom al
lowed unless with the consent of both
parties-neither of whom can afterwar1
re-marry.
Moors-If the wife does not become
the mother of boy, she may be di-
vorced with the consent of the tribe, and
she can marry again.
Abyssinians-No form of marriage is
necessary. The connection may be dis
solved and renewed as often as the par
ties think proper.
Siberians-If the man be dissatisfied
with the most trifng acts of his wife,
he tears her cap or veil from her head,
and this constitutes divorce.
Coreans-The husband can divorce his
wife. and leave her the charge of main.
tanning the children; if she proves up-
faithful he can put her to death.
Druse and urkoman-Among these
people, if wife asks her husbands per-
mission to 90 out, and if he says ego. "
without adding ''but come back again, "
she is divorced. Though both parties
desire it, they cannot live together With
out being remarked.
Cochin Chipese-If the parties choose
to separate, they break pair of chop
sticks or copper coin in the presence of
witnesses, by which action the union is
dissolved. The husband must restore 10
the wife the property belonging to hel
prior to her marriage.
American Indians-Amongs some tribes
the pieces of sticks given to the wit
nesses of the marriage are burnt as a sign
of divorce. Usually new connections are
formed without the old ones being dis
solved. A man never divorces his wife
If she has borne him sons. Leeds Mer-
cury.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
Have you noticed the glass in the sides?"

Have you noticed the glass in the sides9,
"Seems to be very good"
"Good! Why, It's the finest in the
world-the very finest! WANTED some
thing to show off the coffin, and here it
is. tell you, the late deceased ought
to feel proud to ride in such vehicle!
You can say in your paper that it knocks
'em all out. Say, how are you on styles9"
''What styles?"
"Coffins and shrouds, of course. Come
in minute. I've got new thing in
shrouds-something you are bound to
appreciate, and I'm after latent on
coffin with an air-receiver in it. Say!
do me favor. Let me enclose you in
my new coffin and see how long the sup
ply of air will last you. I'll bet dol"
But the reporter had gone.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-16
THAT STOUT PARTY.


Aunt had left me good deal of
property, and it was while on a journey
uom Liverpool to New York to look
aiter the same that 1 fell in with the
stout party.
n her name was Crunlbe = Sararann
efumbe-an odd sort of name it seemed
.or young woman of her size; for she
was a stout party, and no mistake, and,
lueer enough, if she didn't seem to git
oiouter oi every day. / watched her so
..ose, 1t seemed could see 'er a-swellin'
~asy masloiy before my very eyes. But l was
se.rn' sesn deeper an deeper under that ERE
speii as makes fools of us all some time
to peher' | even begun to write poem
a,' nSr' so you may know as was pretty
ssperate. I'd written advertisin' rhymes
'u' our soap, you know, but I found