Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-06-12
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE,

In Cuba, when the government wants to |
discipline an editor it suspends his paper
for forty days This is great fun for the |
editor He gets a rest, goes fishing, has u |
good time generally, and his subscribers !
can't recover "A cent for the papers they !
didn't get.
An advertiser in an exchange offers, |
"For Sale, a few cases of fresh eggs"
Instances of this sort, we must admit are
few and far between.
A Maryland community which rejected
Il number of appiCi hts for county
school because they had never been
through college, put up the following
sign on bridge near the schoohouse
"Notis if you go over this bridge Faster
thana Wax you viii bee find fly dolers"
A member of the choir at st. Georges
chapel, Windsor Castle, has sung there
for seventy gears, and is still at it. This is
pretty near as bad as some of the chorus
and ballet girls on the metropolitan stage.
The latest explosion was that of some
molasses on a Hudson river boat. The
passengers who ate pancakes for break
fast haven't got over their scare yet
Mrs. Bascom was greatly scandalized the
other day, upon running across an item
which spoke of u "social club embracing
members of seven or eight families" She
said she thought it was just shameful, the
way young men carry on nowadays.
A Western writer says, "a beautiful
woman is II poem" We fail to see the
resemblance. At any rate, they produce
entirely opposite effects on us, when they
come into the office
A correspondent wishes some instruc-
tions in bee keeping. Young man, you
have come to the right place for once. We
are chuck full of wisdom on the subject of
bee keeping, and if you will take the add
vice of one who has been there a great
many times, you will keep as far away
from them as possible.
1t may be considered complimentary to
speak of an after-dinner orator as II happy
speaker" but it seems to us that an i'm
plication of hilarity upon such an occasion
looks a little suspicious
We contracted Il cold, last week, but it
has spread all over us again.
The statement is made that George
Washington used occasionally to 90 fish
ing. If'this is true, the little hatchet fable
won't hold water
/ The inventor Of barbs on fence wire re
ceives royalty of $4,000 a year 1t is
now even us it was in the days of job and
David-the wicked will prosper.
A correspondent wishes to know what
is likely to be the future relation of the
Amer to Russia Exactly; he will be
A-meer vassal.
! A Belgian editor recently insulted Il
rival editor in the morning, fought Il duel
and killed him in the afternoon, and came
out at O'Clock p. m. with Il special even
ing edition describing the encounter, and
yet they say that American newspapers
have absorbed all the journalistic enter
prise there is in the world.
Sitting Bull has sent, as gift to the
Pope, a buffalo robe with one side COR
geously painted. And now the generous
old monarch of the prairie is doubtless
pleasing himself trying to imagine wheth-
er the Pope will be likeliest to wear it
with the fur side or the paint side out.
The opening of the Exposition on sun
days has been strongly condemned 1t
has I'M ured other places of amuscment.-
y. o, PtcdUunc.
ner that he cured his own hams, II guest
observed "Do cor, ! am glad to heal
that YOU have cured something. ''-LWtl
ItCnt.
a Democrat who is waiting anNiOusly
for an office sadly observed the other day
that the arctic glacier, which is moving
at the rate of one mile every thOuSanC
. years, should be called the Cleveland adj
, ministration glacier.-BOstOn courier.
The new postal card will be delicat,
pink We betray no secrets in stating
= that Postmaster General Villas think.
seriously of having the mail bags prlntet
i'll old gold with II four inch dado of bird 5
F. egg blue and a large daisy in each corner
Reform and art are going hand i'll hant
, through the whole civil service.-Phtld
: dctphtd Press.
/ M Question of Neracity. Whist die
- you mean by telling that internal lie :,
'What lie ?" you said you We're will
+ Grant at the battle of Bull Run, Gran
e was not at Bull Run at all: " "Wasn'
a he ?" mo, he wasn't" "Well, then
/, there amt no lie out, for | wasn't ther
4. either Uterus Sitings.
G Junior partner-"Our travelling MAJ
i ought to be punished. He told one of GU
customers in Albany that | am an IL
- norant fool" Senior partner-"l shal
Z speak to him and insist that no more Of
II flee secrets be diVulged. -BOston Beacon
4
~ chairs in the fashionable drawing-room
a that it is hard to tell which is the chat
and which is ribbon. One who sits in on
of these chairs makes an enemy of tn
e family, Springfield Union.
% 1--WE encourage the interchange c
/, visits with patrons of other resorts" sal
y the proprietor of n leading summer hotel
10 'when our people are away for the da
J they pay for the dinners they don't have
>, and when their friends return the cal
y they pay for the dinners they do have, 5
I we gain both ways. "-HOtcl MAIL
~, Our gallant base ball team return to L
- covered with something or other, whic
NJ doesn't seem TO be exactly glory.-Butdl
"a Express.
= Mary Jane Holmes, the story write
10 says she hates reporters. We have notice
$ this often in homely Women.- BOStO
Nv Post.
III A recent song is entitled, "Oh, Kiss NJ
~ Once and Let Me Die" We are afraid
we should kiss you once you would wal
IT more-Drdhc'S MdgdziHc.
l., 81 ~, Ia, l,, l,l