Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-03-02
BRIGHT BITS.

this is Dyer full. said Mrs ID. when she
heard the old man fall over the umbrella
stand and sit down on the hall floor Win
"sickening thud. "-BoSfoa Commercial But
lsfiR.
"wHAr is that pictures" asked jamie OF his
father, pointing TO patent medicine adver-
tisement.
"It is picture Of Dr. Hayres, the hair in
vigOrator man.
"What has he got his hat on forY"
ITO cover his bald head -Grdphfc.
EVEN religious journals occasionally slip
into typographical errors that are ludicrous
Or. Taylors hands the old parallels OF the
Lost sheep, the Lost Coo and the Prodlgal
son have new meaning" A coin was meta
morphosed into a cow-an example OF
stranger than Darwinian evolution -Lotoe~
Courier.
THE delegates to recent woman's suffrage
convention in Washington Territory are said
TO have bsen the most stunningly dressed wo-
men IN the Territory" Well, what OF ~ DO
you respect the male voter any more because
he Is dressed in rags RAJ her than IN tne Eng
lish suItingf Go to! What is sauce for the
gander may be also the proper sauce for the
beg pardon for the woman suHraglst.-
Boston Transcript.
"HoRATIUs," said the schoolmistress to
nine year old boy with two imposing freek'es
on the knees of mis- pants, "Horatlus, please
form q sentence with the word toward IN IL:
and write the sentence on the board.
Horatius went to the board. and,
after much scratching of head and friction OF
brain. printed with the crayon, in letters ihal
looked like lot of half-feathered Shanghai
chickens running after piece OF Dough, the
70 lowing sentence: Il toward my trousers
-IHdeDe1dent.
PAPA, do not drink tonight" The words
came in soft, pleading, tear soaked tones
from the sweet, golden haired innocent that
grasped his hand beseechingly.
A tear Welled in the fathers eye. "Nhy
not, my child?" he asked.
"Because AlphOnse Will be here tonight,
and if YOU come home blind, blazing, stag
pering drunk and smashing everything, you re
going to scare him of, and plumbers sons are
not plentiful this season. That's the why y
| Pittsburg Chronicle.
THE LAY OF THE MESSENGER Boy
With letter crushed in his hand,
With his face suffused with joy,
In the midst Of ragged band
Knees the careless messenger boy.
Poke, shove, shoot,
While the cOlored marbles spin,
And time flies by, and the gamlns moot,
As the players lose or win.
With lie as smooth as an egg,
With tears that trickle down,
That messenger boy will beg
For grace when he gets up town
Howl, gasp, sob,
While the salt drops swiftly rail-,
He'll tell of a thief who tried to rob
And choke him with shawl.
philadelphia NeaoS.
JOHN BULL 5 SOLILOQU1.-
| When first heard Of the Prophet raise,
said to myself said l,
| Across the seas to Soudan I'll waltz,
Said l to myself, said L.
| I'll laugh at the deserts fierce simeon,
| III breathe on the Mahdps little boom,
| And carry the fragments into khartoum,
said TO myself, said |.
| When got one foot on the upper Nile,
Said | to myself said /,
! Tn just sit down and perspire while,
! Said to myself, said l.;
| And as | sat, my good light toe
! Was cut clean off at one fell blow.
| Why, this Hell Mahdi's not so slow,
| Said to myself, saidI.
| I'll send right home for my other foot
said to myself, said /,
| And I'll put on my heaviest hob-nalled boot,
Said / to myself said L;
| And I'll kick this man and his Arab crew
| From the tickle Nile to the ocean blue
| But if he'd kick me, what should do?
said to myself, said l.
columbus (OhiOl Dispatch.