davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
She Was Grieved.

A middle-aged widow presented herself to a
local Clergyman and asked him if he would
perform the marriage ceremony between her
self and a widower whom she named The
clergyman replied in the affirmative, when the
for. my good woman?" asked the clergyman
"oh, sir, you don't know anything about it.
] had TO get my first husbands set of gold teeth
made over into an engagement ring before
George would have me, and it's ali / had to
remember poor John byi" and she burst into
another food of tears and would not be COM
forfed
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Indian Ideas.

Miss Alice Fletcher, the student of Indian
household customs, says that among the Sioux,
when one family bOrrows kettle from another,
it is expected that when the kettle is returned
a small portion Of the food that has been cooked
in it will be left in the bottom. The language
has a particular word TO designate this rem
nant. SHOULD this custom be disregarded by
any one, that person would never be able to
borrow again, as the owner must always know
what was cooked in her kettle" white woman,
on one occasion, returned a SECURED kettle, in
tending TO teach lesson in cleanliness; but
her act became the talk Of the camp as fresh
example of the meanneSs Of whites.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
GoipS Ont OF the Country.

"When we were all down at MiIledgeyille
passing the ordinance of secession" said Gen.
Toombs, while propped up against his pillow
recently, " the excitement was most intense,
and when the ordinance finally passed the peo-
pie had big impromptu jubilee, lasting late
into the night. Some of the members grew
hungry at last and went TO the hotel to get
supper, but found that the cook was later than
usual in getting it ready. They took occasion
to damn him him for the delay when the
sable humorist coolly remarked: We'll, gem
men, you ali said dat you all was gwine outer
de United States fore o'clock dis ebenen an
darfo' | though that mebbe you all I'D be purity
late a-gittin' back! OATS de reason warn't in
no great hurry" And with one consent the
crowd excused him"
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
FOR TIE LADIES.

-"Onyx set with diamou,ls' says the Jeiccler
" is being worn by latiiss OF quct taste"
"A deacon in a Western town recently died. :"
says the New York Co,amerciai- advertiser. - His
pastor soon paid "A visit of coincidence to the be-
reayed widow She asked The minister if he woud
like to see the funeral wreath. He assentcd. She
led him TO the luch-prized memento and pointed
out its pccuarities. In II broken voice she said :
The red flowers were made of his red flannes the
white ones Of his white fannels. The stamens
made of the coffin shavngs, and the pisils of his
beard. The berries and buds were made OF the pills
that were left when he died, and the feathery part
was made of the feathers of the last chicken dear
James killed before he was taken ill., All this she
said without a pause for BREATH and ended her
ghastiy description of the treasured by I'M
piorng the bewiIdered clergyman to lead in PRAYER.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
SORRY FOR THE OLD MAN.
An Orphans Terrible Grief-.lways On Time or
Important Occasions.

An Orphans Terrible Grief-A!ways On Time on
Important Occasions.
Arkunsd,U 7rGrerer.l
Arkansaw school teacher to boy-"Why didn't
you come to school yesterday?"
Boy-"Pap wouldn't let me-
Teacher" Why?"
Boy-"Cause man was sick"
Teacher" Wanted you to wait on her.
suppose"
Boy-"No; wanted me to wait on him. Nam
alius does
Teacher" Does he need much waiting on?"
Boy" Yes, power of it,"
Teacher" OF what does the work consist?"
Boy" Lightin' his pipe an totin whisky.
Pap amt very well and KANT stir round much.
When he's well he drinks tell he gifts sick, an
then he keeps on drinkin' tell he gifts we'll"
a scholar enters excitedly and tells the boy
that his father is dead.
Boy to teacher" Wall, mister, reckon I'll
jog along home. Pap was allus mighty par
ticular bout me bein' at home when anything
was the matter. Maybe I'll come back, an
maybe l WON'T
Teacher, ympathetically-"I am very sorry
for you and your mother"
Boy-"I amt, but you bet I'm sorry for the
old man."
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
4 Veterans Pitiful Plight.

John Mooney, an old man with gray beard
reaching to his waist, has made his appearance
at Ashland Pa. He was in the Union army
during the war; and then enlisted in the Regu-
lar Army. While fighting Indians in the West
he was wounded and his relatives at Ashland
heard he was killed. He had property valued
at $4,000, which they sold and deposited the
moaeysin POttsville bank. They refuse now
to recognize his identity, and be is now wan
dering about in a dazed condition. He has once
walked to Washington and presented papers on
which he hopes to obtain a pension from the
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
D.siral,,s for Many peaS,,S

Clara ION board the Fleetwing) See, George,
that bold and frowning cliff yonder! How
straight and smooth its surface, if cut by some
gigantic hand welding huge clover. Is it
not awe-inspiring to think of the long-gone
mighty contOrtiOn OF nature which brought
from the caverns beneath thesea this solid wall
OF stone and spread its rocky length beside the
wave where erst the restless waters broke un-
checked? Is it not picturesquely grand and
Tuggedly beautiful?
George with enthusiasm Elegant. I'M
mensei What fine place for patent medi-
cine advertisement
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Doing an Errand.

Hello, old man. said a gentleman to a
friend what's that you've got under your
coat?"
That" was the sad reply, as he brought it
forth. g. is my wife's little pug dog"
"What you going TO do with him Take
him somewhere and drown him?"
:" l wish l might" earnestly responded the
gentleman, fetching a sigh. NO, an not
going to drown him. My wife is having new
spring suit made to harmonic with Beauty, as
she is pleased to call the disgusting little BRUTE
and / am on my way to a dry goods store to
match him for half yard more of material"
The National tribune., 1885-10-15

II is prepared from Sarsaparia, yellow Dock,
Cherry Bark, Pipsissewa, Mandrake. Dandelion,
and other well-known vegetable remedies. The
combination. proportion, and preparation are pc
cuar Hoods Sarsaparilla, and effect remarkable
cures where other medicines fail.
1t cures scrofula, Salt Rheum. Bols, Pimples, all
Humors. Dyspepsia, Biliousness, Sick Headache,
Indigestion, General Debility, Catarrh Rheuma-
tism Kidney and Liver Complaints, overcomes that
tired feeling creates an appetite and builds up the
whole system.
THE GOOD NAME AT HOME"
won by Hoods Sarsaparilla is unequaled in the
history of medicines. Such Is its popularity in
Lowell, Mass, where it is made. that whole neigh
borhoods are taking ii at the same time. The same
success is extending all the country. Send for
a book containing statements of cures.
Hoods Sarsaparilla is sold by all druggists, 81 :
six for S. Prepared by G. L. HOOD CO., Apothe-
carries, Lowell, Mass.
Mention The National Tribune.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Rubber Hands and Feet,

The artificial limbs advertised in another
column by A. A. Marks, are worthy of exami-
nation by all in need of such appliances. Mr.
Marks is the inventor of the rubber hand and
foot as applied to limbs, and his device has
withstood the test of many years use at home
and abroad. By this invention the complex
and unwieldy mechanism employed in the old
fashioned style of limb is superseded through
the flexible action of the rubber foot and hand,
which compensates for the rigidity of the
member to which it is attached. A wonderful
counterfeit of the natural gait is thus secured
even in cases where both legs have been lost.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
He puid.
1Deiroit Eree Press.

"1 notice by the papers, he said, as he
waited for the froth on his beer to settle, that
a man in Chicago saloon fell dead just as he
finished drinking glass of beer
a. see dot same thing in der papers, too y
replied the saloonst
Curious, wasn't it?"
"Vhell, don't think so. You see, he drank
oop dot beer und said: Sharge it to me! und
der bartender he prings oudt his club und taps
him on der head. 1t vhas almost eafery day
somebody drops dead here!"
Helaid a hickory club on the bar and looked
the man full in the eye, and the beer was
hardly down before it was paid for.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Difficult to Determine.

I've" LFOuHe
A colored clergyman in the South saw r
member of his congregation sleeping during
the sermon, and Immediately digressed into
the following episode: You remember when
Paul was preaching in de temple dan,scl was
asleep in the fourth story, and she fell down,
smashing all to smashers, and the fragments
they picked up II basketfuIs, and whose wife
will she be in de resurrection"
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Ha Ent Roth

Further on we come to very large building
and very ancient building.
Us that tobacco factory, too?" asked the
driver
"No sab dat's meetin' house. sab. OATS
whar Patrick Henry made his great speech,
sab"
"What did Patrick say?" asked
"Why, he done say, Glib me liberty or glib
me DEATH"
"WeIi, which did they give him?"
"Dey guy him bof, sab, bof."
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Vigorous Lightning.
INeaD Norhieca.l

A somewhat remarkable result from a flash
of lightning occurred near Deer Lodge, where
LOO sheep were grazing, with a herder in
charge. The flash and report appeared almost
instantaneous, and were terrific. The herder
and horse were both knocked to the ground, and
when the herder recovered and looked around
it seemed to him the entire flock was down.
Seven sheep were killed throughout the band
by the flash, and two Of them were 200 yards
anart.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
The Doctor Forbade IL.

Cholly-I see that you have given up wcah-
ing that hat band, chappy.
Wally-Yes deah boy, had to; doctah for
bade it. donchcr know.
Cholly-Why, where's the hahn in weahing
a hat-band?
Waly-The doctah said it was such deusid
heavy pwesshah me bwain that L had to stop
wealIing it. L say, too bad, isn't it,
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Important Information.
[Terds SifingS.l

A professor at the University Of Texas, was
explaining some of the habits and customs Of
the ancient Greeks to his class.
"The ancient Greeks built no roofs over
their theatcrs," said the professor.
"What did the ancient Greeks do when it
rained?" asked Johnny Fizzletop.
The professor took off his spectaeles. polished
them with his handkerchief and replied
calmly
They got wet, I suppose"
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Holding Out Inducements.

A grocer's boy complained to his employer
that he was worked too hard and did not get
sufficient rest.
Il know, Johnny" admitted the grocer,
"that you are kept pretty busy most of the
time, but I'll see what can be done. Perhaps
when cold weather sets in I'll let you draw
molasses once in q whle.'
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Sweet Charity.

Sympathetic Friend-Can't you do a little
something for Conductor Smith, Brown? He
has just got to work again after three months
illness and is very hard up.
Brown-Certainly 1 will. am always glad
to help fellow being in distress am going
up the road to morrow on his train and III pay
my fare on the cars instead of buying ticket
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Searching the Scrintnres.

Minister dining with the family)-Well,
Bobby, do you like to read the Bible?
Bobby don't get much of a chance at it.
Sister has it most of the time.
Minister turning to sister)-Ah, Miss Clara,
| am glad to know that you find the Good
Book of daily use and consolation to you.
Bobby-Yes, she uses it for pressing Autumn
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
Well Deserves Its Success.
TLa,ore,ce (Mass.) American. |


The NATIONAL TRIBUNE of Washington,
the veterans newspaper, comes to us this week
with an extra four pages, II altogether, and
filled to the brim with old war "reminiscences,
stories of the great conflict, Grand Army news,
reports of the Loyal Womau's work and other
matters of interest to the boys who wore the
blue. THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE is all and
altogether a capital paper, and well deserves
its more than 100000 subscribers.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
A WOmaa's Revenge.

philadelphia North Amcrican.l
A rat killed wOman's canary at Buffalo
recently and was caught in the act. The wo-
mans vengeance was fiendish. She put the
rat in a cage and starved it to death in six days
tormenting it from time to time by prodding
it with redhot needle and giving it a red
pepper pill and vitriOl. When it died she cried
because she could torture in no more. Wonder
if she has a husband?
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
ThrnM A,faN Trnsses.

when our new method IS guaranteed to perma-
nently cure the worst cases Of rupture, without
the use of the knife. Send 10 cents in stamps
for pamphlet and references. Worlds Dispcn-
sary Medical Association, 663 Main Street,
Buffalo n. Y.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15

Durang's Rheumatic Remedy hiss feon ad-
vertiSed in this city for several years, and
stands high Cumberland (lfd.) Neus.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
ExfrncfS frnm the Press

The following extracts from the press show
the standing of Durang's Rheumatic Remedy:
Maryland is full Of people who have been
cured of rheumatism by Durang's Rheumatic
Remedy.-RGitimoTe Sun
The National tribune., 1885-10-15

1t cures rheumatism when everything else
fails.-Nd8huiGe 1esas) Americaa.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15

No medicine is more used for rheumatism
than Durangs Rheumatic Remedy. Our doc
tors prescribe it, and it never fails 10 do the
work. Hatert0wn IN. " Times aud Re(orser
The National tribune., 1885-10-15

Some of our best citizens have used it with
great success.-Richmond (Fa) Whig
Send for free pamphlet to r. K. Helphen-
stine, Druggist, Washington, ID. G.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15

Pure sbood is absolutely necessary in order
to enjoy perfect health. Hoods Sarsaparilla
purifes the blood and strengthens the system.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15

1t is positive cure for rheumatism. tlanta
(Ca) Constitution.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15
In Evening Dress.

In Evening Dress.
Boston BudJet.I
"Did you see Kites at the wedding last
night?"
Yes"
"Was he intoxicated ?"
"Well, he was in full evening dress.
The National tribune., 1885-10-15

we found full of what were once human beings, but
who would scarcely now be recognized AS such. In
old field, with no Enclosures but the living wall
of sentinels who guard them night and day, are
several thousand filthy, diseased, furnished men,
with hope of relief, except by death. few
dirty rags stretched on poles give some Of them a
poor protection from the hot and heavy dews.
All were i'll rags and barefoot, and crawling with
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-28
A Hubbuh.

There is considerable commotion in
political circles in Davenport today, over
developments which have come to light
since the recent appointment of W. c.
Thompson as internal revenue collector
for the second district Of Iowa, in place
of John W. Greene, suspended. A dis
pute has arisen as to the new appointee's
legal right to the Office his opponents
claiming that his residence being outside
of the district. makes his appointment
unconstitutional, and to affirm this they
quote the following section 3125-of
lille 35, chapter of the internal revenue
laws, revised statues of the United States:
The president, by and with the advice
and consent of the senate, shall appoint
for each collection district, collector
who shall be resident of the same.
Mr.. Thompson it appears, is a residen,
of Ottumwa, which is the Second dis,
trict
Secretary of the Treasury Manning has
been informed of the facts in the case,
and the outcome is watched with a great
deal of interest.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-28
Weather and Vegetation.

Notwithstanding the fact that there
was frost and ice, a few fakes of snow
and some cold winds in this generally
genial month of May, and though the
late spring did seem discouraging as to
summer and autumn crops, yet the recent
warm weather has made the face of ma,
ture blossom like the roses. All vegeta>
ton has made rapid growth in the past
ten days. Hop vines are over five feet
long, and many wild and also some of
the cultivated plants have made growth
Of over three feet. The rhubarb is al
ready in the market The seeds of the
soft maple, on some trees, are ready to
plant and would make growth of a
foot and half this year. Nearly hun
dred of the native plants and trees have
been, or are now, in flower, and some of
the forest trees have made wood growth
of six inches, and several of the native
grasses are already foot high. There is
nothing discouraging in the crop pros
poets, and the present indications are
that after hard winter, late spring and
sudden summer, our northwest will be
blessed with good crops, good health and
its usual prosperity.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-28
RASMUSSEN'S CARD,

In calling the fact that refted
Studio making only the complete but decidedly hadm
est in this vicinity We also wish to call attention fine
Photographic recently produced containing novel and
pleasing positions and effects of light and shadow varying
miniature 16x20 inches We CONNIE
critics that by far the finest display made
artistic largely the fact that make greater effort
excel than underse and bring aid such experience can
gathered from II continuous service avng begun
graphic boy which y
months either by sickness vacaton long experience enables
the importance of effects Photo
urade and rustic bridges and fences boat rocks
lilies staways and variety of
table what the Chicago Photo Bureau m
equaed any gallery in this vicinity butW plainly say (and
easily demonstrate) that gallery this contains the
of Instruments don't boast that they bought
used by predecessors for
of the makes containing
Voieaende Enryscope Damyer TWO
pleased the best advertisement and
advertisement the excellence work In order secure
results show of
ves different positions and all of these proofs shown should
suggest themselves resng will gladly be
Rock Island
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-28
Biographical Album.

Chapman Bros, of Chicago, H., who
have just completed and delivered the
portrait and biographical album of De-
Kalb county, have force of men at work
in this county in the complication of a
similar work. The Dekalb work gave
general satisfaction, the people and press
Of the county uniting in its praise, and
cordially recommending the firm. John
NJ. Braddock and and w. II. Lever rep
resent the firm in this city, and will call
upon our citizens for data for the work.
The company prides itself upon having
everything as correct as human being can
make it, and If our people will help in
the enterprise the Rock Island work will
lie one in which all will take Just pride.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-28
A Strange Experience.

A strange and amusing, though alto
gether unpleasant experience. was that
which c. G. Knell had last Sunday.
Mr. Knell takes a good deal of in
terest in horse flesh, he knows a good
animal when he sees it and finds himself
always possessing one. Mr.. Knell owns
the horse which would lot present bad
appearance. or fail to please the spectas
tors in circus ring performance. The
horse has series of tricks taught him by
his owner, which he performs admirably.
But the incident referred to, resulted
from new experiment in the part of Mr..
Knell. He thought he would attempt
the feat of bare back riding, so after re-
moving the bridal and halter he leaped to
the horses back; the animal seemed
conscious of the new experiment
and out he put through the
barn door and down Fourth avenue
at something less than a two minute gait,
the rider all the time clinging on for dear
life, as this part of the programme was
new and wholly unexpected to him. At
ter the gait had been kept up for about a
mile Mr.. Knell began to feel somewhat
tired of it, and singular desire to dis
mount came over him, but this he was
unable to accomplish, as there was no
means of stopping the horse At last an
idea struck him, so while the animal was
tearing through the streets TO the be-
wildermeut of people on the sidewalks,
Mr. Knell raised himself from the horse s
back, end some wayne declares he
knows not how-threw himself forward,
and after turning complete summer
sault landed on his feet in front of the
horses head, when, surprised at thi:
movement, it came to a dead
halt. The animal was then con-
Quoted back to the barn fully mile an6
half away. Mr.. Knell wants no more
bare back riding.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-05-28
River Riplets.

Two packets today on the white collar
line-the Centennial up and st. Paul down
The Sidney went south last evening
loaded down to the guards with freight,
and with a good list of passengers.
The Josephine came up with a good
trip this afternoon. At Dubuque, her
place will be taken by the Palatial Pitts
burg, which steamer will continue in the
trade the rest of the season.
The steamer Centennial departed from
St. Louis for st. Paul at 4 p. m. Tues
day, with her best passenger register this
season, and nearly 400 tons of assorted
merchandise.
River steamboat lines have always been
allowed differential rates on business
from Chicago and st. Louis to St. Paul
The Diamond 10 company has the His
nois Central, and the Davidson line the
Northwestern for Chicago connections
Differentials have varied from to %
cents on different classes of freight.
Merchants have been availing themselves
of these rates, to the exclusion of the
railroads, and the latter complained to
Commissioner Carman, who informed
them that they could make such rates
as to compete with steamboats,. The
steamboats, will, however, accept bust,
ness at less than railroad rates
Daily City Item, New Orleans The
Ouachita trade for many years supported
a large fleet of steamboats, from 1850 to
1861. viz: Rockaway, D. S. Stacy, Far
mer, Paul Jones, Cora, Lizzie Simmons.
r. W. Kimball, J. Frank, Pargoud and
others. These steamboats, during an or
binary season, brought out of the
0uachita aud its tributaries $50, 900 bales
of cotton, and transported to the country
contiguous to the valley of the river i'm
mense cargoes of merchandise. Within
few years two railroads have penetrated
the valley of the river, and today not one
half the amount of cotton comes out of
this river that there was formerly; nor is
there one half the amount of merclfan>
disc and produce transported by steam>
boats to the country lying along the val>
ley. This river, however, has fine line
of steamers, which do fair amount of
business, and the probabilities are that
they will be sustained longer than any
tributaric boats of the south, as the rail
roads are not making such rapid strides
into the valley of this river as they made
into Arkansas, Red river and White river.
The loss of these tributaric trades will be
felt severely by the steamboat men who
operate these steamers, particularly pill
cts, engineers, mates, and the men who
handle their freight, as they know but
little of any other vocation of life; they
will probably seek the rivers of Mexico,
Central America and South Americs,
where they may fad employment