The Red Cloud chief., 1885-06-05
BAGPiPES.
A Natural Interpretation Not Justified D.
the Facts.

u " AutST wv JosttuCu ~
the fscts.
II appears that it is all q mistake TO
assume that oatmeal is the cause IL the
national Scotch dyspepsia The natur-
al Interpretation of the facts that the
Scotch eat oatmeal and suffer from dys-
pepsia is that oatmeal produces dyspep-
sia- When the Times expressed this
opinion it did so in perfect good faith,
but now that a real S~cotchman. who is
an expert in dyspepsia. no, only denies
that oatmeal is indigestible. bu; eX-
plains in a perfect satisfactory way the
true cause Of Scotch dyspepsia. it would
be dishonest not to proclaim the limo
cence Of oatmeal. Dyspepsia among
Scotchmen is the result of listening TO
the bagpipes, and the moment this as
sertion is made its truth becomes almost
se~lf-evidoat
1t may be urged by ignorant persons
that the impression OF a sound received
on the tympanum Of the ear can not
affect the stomach This is, of course.
entirely untrue. II is = well-established
fact that certain songs will produce
aust IN the part Of sensitive hearers.
Excursionists on their way TO Rock
away by sea have often been made vio-
lently sick by hearing the steamers
band play whoa. Emma" and q
physician of this city has frequently
prescribed ..Dites lui'' as AN emeiic in
cases of poisoning.
II is a welLattested fact that the bag
pipes. when heard by persons who are
not accustomed to them. give rise TO
violent gripping pains in the stomach
which closely resemble tho pains of
Asiatic cholera. During the Sepoy mu-
tiny the Scotch regiments more than
once placed large bodies Of Sepoys hors
de combat by the use Of the bagpipes
alone. Had not havelock's little army
included a strong corps Of pipers IT
could never have made its way into
Lucknow through the vast beseging
force Mr.. Whittier speaks Of the pipes
at Lucknow a. ''stinging all tine plain
to life The Sepoys would hardly have
described in that way the effect Of pipe
PLAYING. As a matter Of fact. thousands
bagpipes. clasped their hands TO their
abdominal regions and rolled on the
plain in agony. Even those whose
stomachs withstood the sound imagined
tina; the Sepoy camp had suddenly hecn
smitteu with cholera. and became 80
demoralized that Hxvelock forced hi.
WAY through the midst of them almos,
unmole,ted. and reached the residency
without other casualties than the death
Of two wounded Englishmen. who were
officially reported 10 have died with JOY
at seeing the relieving force. but who
were really too weak to withstand the
bagpiPes.
Scottish children suffer severely from
the bagpjpe colo. and no careful
mother viii allow = baby in arms 70
hear the pipes When the Scotch chill
dren reach the age Of three or four
years they are gradually hardened to
che sound Of the bagpipes. and though
8; frs, they are fairly doubled up with
pan. they are able in time to
listen to The Wild McGregor Clan
CALI without b-;raying any signs Of
upeas;pes& The bagpipe colo i never
fatal excep: 10 infants and persons in .
vcrS weak condition, and Scotch
phy sicians occasionally prescribe .
course of pipes TO patients suffering
from Obesity. Her Majesty the Qreen
has tried this remedy with apparently
good results. though il is difficult TO be-
iieye that its permanent effect upon her
health can be beneficial
No man. not eyen q Sco:chman. can
suffer for wears from colo without hsv-
ing his digestive organs impaired
When \ Young Scotchman has accus-
toned his stomach TO hear bagpipes
xitbou, pain j; NAV be safely assumed
that his stomach IL 50 weakened q. To
be totaIIy unfit to diges; ordinary food
In these circumstances il i possible tina:
t.srmeal is well adapted TO The abnor-
mai s,s;e Of his digestive organs At
ans rate. oatmeal can no longer be heid
70 be the cause Of Scotch dyspepsia.
and there Is good reason to believe tha;
Carlyle owed his dyspepsia 70 his early
exposure to bagpipe>-N J. 1sneA