Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-09
BRIGHT BITS.

A POET asks: '"What is warmer than wo-
mans loveP' We infer that he never picked
up newly coined horse shoe, fresh from the
forge -Norr{st0a0n HeTaId.
WHY not bring the Indian to the cities and
make a voter Of him. There are very few
red men who for little irewater would not
vote for the best man.-LOWis0iUs Courier
Journal.
AN insane man threw a flower pot at En-
perOr William last week, eXclalmlng, Thus
will the empire break ~ It Is, perhaps. need
less to remark that the thrOwer Of the pot
was promptly jagged Sun francisco Post.
A FRENCHMAN has invented machine
with which man "can cut his own hair AS
easily as nc can shave himself This is not
necessarily labor saving machine, however,
for man never labors harder than when he
is shaving himself EO7ceH Courier.
NOTHING so piques a thrifty womau's curl
osity and enrages her as to have anewsboy
feet a-dOwn the street about IL 80 g. m, bel
lowing: "Eresyereytry Turble wOggle wog
gle loo! All bout the spusion'n death at
eresyereXtry. "-Phit1delI,htG Record.
GEORGE ELIOT said: "Things look dim to
Old folks" They undoubtedly do when Old
folks peer into the parlor between the hours
of nine and twelve in the evening. But the
old folks look omuOusly distinct to the oc-
cupants Of its dimness .-BfR0hGn,t ReIu6-
Hc0H.
THE Cook" travellers 90 on the Pan Ham
die route; the opera srOupe on the AIR Line:
ths prize tighter on the Belt Line; the ee-
phaut on the Grand Trunk; the independent
voter on the Citizens Line; the epicute on
the Imam Line; the policeman on the Pull
-PDch.
A FINE MEMORY .-"He's man Of extraor-
binary good memory, I've been told" Il
don't believe it," "Whv nOtY" ''pve heard
him talk in class-meeting." "Wen, what of
that| HE don't seem TO remember more
than half the deviment he's ever done."-
Ohicdgo Record.
AN inquirer wants to know what is the av-
erage speed Of a street car. That depends
entirely on circumstances. II it is the last
car at night, and you are trying to catch it, il
goes at "A two minute gait. But If you have
caught IL and want TO catch train, il creeps
along like removals from Office for cause
Puok,
IL your paper of July Is is a picture OF the
statue star OF the West'-a woman shading
her eyes with her hand. 1t is not true to ma
ture. A woman always shades her eyes by
turning her hand Over--the palm upward-sO
that the back will not sunburn. During the
civil war a WON an in the army in male attire
was discovered by this gesture.-t. Louis Re
publican.
YOUNG POKT-Yes. we men of genius find it
very hard to let liquor alone.
Admiring Frend-That's fact. Look at
Poe, for instance.
you would hardly rank my-er-a ability
with POe's would your
Admiring Friend-Certainly / would.
think you are at least a bottle better than
Poe was at your age.-Neao York sun.
PUGSBY concluding story)-"Thus was
saved by mere presence Of mind"
BolgertOp tglOomily )-"Great thing-pres-
ence OF mind. might have been a rich man
to-day If my presence of mind had not failed
me one time"
Pugsby-"lndeed? When was that?"
BOlgertop--"I remember my Uncle
GeOrge-rich old duffer? Well, sir, l was
with him one day when ne was taken with a
lit. was 30 frightened that lost my pres
! enCe of mind and called in a doctor, and Uncle
George Is living yet PhiIddeIDhtd CRU.