The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1885-07-10
BEATING THE PARSON.
HOW IRREvERENT eRlDEGROoMS GET
OUT OF FEELING THE MINISTER.
The Envelope Trick - Playing the Mar
riage-CcrtiHcatc Dodge-The Coin
in Hand-Bogus Cheeks-An
Exchange of Rings.
New York world.l

Here In Brooklyn" said the minister
1aid in all large cities the marriage fee
form no M an part OF a minister's income
We receive all the way from IS to 500 pei
marriage generally, although In many in
stances We are beaten clean out OF the fee
In the fr,t place, there's the envelope dodge
One night happy, loving couple awoke m
In the middle OF the night and wanted me u
marry them. arose, dressed myself ant
performed the ceremony. As the parties
turned TO leave tho groom hCuted through
his coat-tan pocket, and when the BRIDE
head was turned he surreptitiously handel
me a well-flled envelope. ! bowed then
out, thinking l had been we'll paid for my
trouble hurried TO my room and told my
wife she could have the new bonnet she hac
been plaguing me about [ tore open th'
envelope, and what do you suppose wa
In i'll"
"Hundrel dollars or sof'
"Ten sheets OF reporters copy paper
think that fellow was member OF the
press"
Then there's the marriage-certificate
dodge. It's good one. I've had IL played
on me and know Of number OF others who
have suffered. Here is my case: An ap
parently well-to-do couple came to my houss
and married them After the consumma
ton OF the ceremony the groom saii he
wanted n handsome certificate with n costly
frame.
"'I,et IL lie nice; any thing below S25 will
suit Call It twenty five,' aid he. strokine
his musta che pompously. when can
have III"
81 told him IL he'd call in in the latter par
Of tbs wenk I'd have a nice ons for him
TIE certificate AMI frame cost me SIT. They
were gorgeous That's the frame up there
around my grandmother, said the minister
signing. The Gel tiicate can be purchased
at cost price.
Another case Is fresh In my memory, a
II Is Of recent date. After had married q
couple the groom jingled the contents OF his
pockets and then withdrew his closed hand.
As bowed him from the front door he goi
bot ween me and the BRIDE and shaking my
hand warmly, placed large coin in 1t as he
babe me hearty goodbye. / have that
coin yet Here 1t Is" And the dominic
produced a leaden sinker that he had been
beautifully rounded and sand-papered to
make II resemble $50 gold piece
"Cbecls drawn on broken banks or banks
that never had any existence, or banks
where they never heard Of the drawer. cans
not be classed under that head The minis
ters OF our cities could furnish fine collec'
ton OF these IL they were called upon to do so.
The effrontery of these depraved beings
always takes the form Of bashfulness. They
make believe that they are too bashfal to
offer the money In the presence Of the bride.
Whenever hear a bashful man juggling in
his pockets, am not certain that his pocket
does not contain nails or keys until he pro-
duces q coin and am not certain of the
genuineneSs of the coin until have tested
IL with my teeth. An honest, Gol-fearing
man comes out boldly, ami In presenting
his offering makes a little joke about his
bride being worth 1t, or something OF that
kind. That makes Us all happy, and there
10 no need OF fracturing ones tseth.
However, I was foolei once by ma n
who did this very same thing. He had
neglected to provide ring and loaned him
one ! always have on hand. After the cere.
mony he returned it. asking me what my
charge was i told him we made no charge,
but IL he felt inclined to remunerate
me he could do so. He loosely remarked
that he guessed his bride was worth SIS,
and IL she proved good he'd send me SIS on
every anniversary OF the wedding He
called for pen and ink and filed out check.
He insisted upon my prayin, for their well
fare before they left, and Ibid so. They had
never heard Of him at the bank where the
check was drawn"
"And you was prayer QUIT"
"one minute! really felt like amending
that petition, for II was fervent SIS one.
trust the maynard youth was benefited
by It. He needed all the prayers he could
obtain by false pretenses. The ring he
handel back TO mo was not mine When
he felt into his pocket for the check he ex-
changed 1t for scent brass one. I have
used 1t ever since when occasion required. "