New-York tribune., 1885-07-21
or THE FJT7EST

~
Ii used to be believed that a special providence
took care Of drunken people. and that they could go
through vicissitudes with impunity which would
have wrecked any sober man for ak months.
Instances used To be cited Of drunken mon who had
fallen down stairs or from high walls. or had been
run through clothes wrngers or threshing
machines. separators and power presses. and had
emerged calm. smiling. and suffering nothing except
an aggravated thirst But OF late the sweet little
cherub that sits up aloft to watch over the life ana
limbs Of the votaries OF Bacchus appears to have
gone on duty. Perhaps he has been removed as an
offensive partisan" Possibly he found the duties
of his Office too onerous Al all events facts seem
to show that in New-York drunken pcopIs cannot
roll oa housetops or tumble out Of ffth-story
windows without getting hurt. though as a rule
they do not complain
The old immunity Of the legendary topper, more
over has passed to the Infant Of the PERIOD which
il developing = capacity for levitation altogether
unparalleled Scarcely a day passes without its
case of a child Who has fallen out Of high window
or down steep staircase aud has been picked up.
breathless perhaps. but unfractured Ii Is evident
that this is a groat improvement on the old method
There is really no reason why drunken people
should be preternaturally protected. Rank mater-
aliss have contendei that they fell softly because
they were perfectly limp, whereas when sober
persons fall they stfon their muscles invountarily
and 80 sustain more severe injuries on stepping
suddenly This however, 10 clearly an explanation
prompted by nere sccptcism. though IL must be
admitted that IT would apply TO the case OF the
| elastic babies No doubt tho drinkers argument
would be that IL intoxicated persons nowadays
sustain Injuries through falling 1t is because they
are not drunk enough TO DO sufficiently Timber
Bat this IL plainly nero evasion since of course
the babies are not addicted to intemperance.
The real aud indeed obvious solution is that the
preference shown for falling infants is beautiful
aud practical illustration of the doctrine OF tho
survival of tho ttest In the struggle for existence
between tho drunkards and the babies the latter
properly prevail aud who the little ones rebound
from the pavenents upon whioh they mpinge
without suffering any injury. the intcmpcrate
tumbers strike the ground with n dull thud.' and
there end. And this is as it should be-
Tho crownng moment of the political year Is
slowly drawing near. The Reform President Is
soon to take to the Adirondack woods in company
with that pure and unblemished statesman Smith
VI. Weed
The free trade journals that have been mcrcIlessly
assaulting AMI maligning Mr.. John Roach for years
are now outdoing Pecksnif IN their solicltudo Tor
his health and c0mmserat0n for his mlsfortunes.
They are all syery sorry for poor Mr.. RoachW In
sorry for poor Uncle Sam when the Alabama and
her piraticai oonsorts were destroying American
commerce.
Mr.. O'Donohue's platform may not be very broad
but there arc great many voters willing to stand
on 10.
Two contractors of I'll Paso. Texas. began in
August last to bud u courthouse and Jail for the
CITY, They have finished tho jail just in time to
occupy it In person The is that they altered
the plans and specifications under which the
contract was awarded Them thus making a gain OF
500. 900 After all the men builded better than |
they knew and FL Paso gets tho advantage OF 1t !
doubly. 1t is to bo hoped that the altered plans did
not include snbtcrranean passage for escape.
Ii may interest and console those ardent Demo- |
crats who are trying to agree with the Adnnistra-
tion in every thing it does To learn from his own
lips that Judge Stallo, the Minister TO Italy,
has for years cd annually "bolting" party in |
CINCINNATI and that he is an advocate of recon- |
structed party.
The excessive zeal OF tho new convert Is to be |
found In every utterance Of The Ne,c- York Times.
but Ia nothing moro distnctively than in the fol- |
lowing opening paragraph Of an editorial In Satur-
days issue:
consao5,~g that Manons; party in VIRGINS ny would
can read could vote IL not clear why 1t should have
put forward any platform at all.
u is evidently the idea OF tho controlling gonius
of Tho Times that u Democrat must be negro
hater In its afiatoa with the men TO whose
brutality the negro owes his ignorance its sneers
are eminontly in place.
In many parts of tho South there Is so little
respect for the sanctity of tho ballot that 1t Is |
encouraging to find in The oxford tMiss.) Eagle of |
July 2 this ringing declaration Of principle: "No
more ballot-box stufng except in OF absolute
necessity" There is hope for the country when q |
Mississippi newspaper speaks right out in that
fearless fashion, especially when that newspaper
chances 10 be the home organ Of Secretary Lamar.
How little foundation there has been for tho pcr-
sistent Democratic assaults on John Roach is shown |
in the statement Of his receipts for work done for
the Navy Department. The naval expenditures
from 1909 to 1884 were $4O1. 75s, ,878. OF that
total sum less than So 100000 WAS paid to Mr..
Roach. Tho money was mainly spent in navy |
yards under policy protested against by Mr. |
Roach and other shlpbuilders, aud rejected "a !