Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1885-11-28
the original manuscript:
WATERFORD, Oxford county, Me.

WATERFRONT, Oxford county, Me.
June s, 1864.
MY DEAR SIR: There IS nothing very re-
markable in my history. l was born IN
this little town about twenty-fiv years
ago. My father died when was IL years
old, and at the age Of Is entered a print
ing office at Lancaster. N. n My father
was a magistrate and a lumber merchant
a clear headed and thoroughly honest man;
so competent in his business as to be CON
suited on all kinds of law questions, and so
honest that he invariably had his hands
full of business involving large sums OF
money. ! fear he was a little too honest,
for be died poor after all. Iran away from
the Office at Lancaster and entered a similar
establishment at Norway, this state. ms
Office failed, and Iroamed through the state,
setting type a short time at one place ana
then quietly running away to another. Run
ming away appeared to have been my chief
weakness a. that time. But | finally landed
in Boston and steadily worked at my trade
until vas declared a tolerably good print
er. ! then went west and south, and FOR
two years led a peripatetic kind Of life. l
commenced writing for a paper in Toledo,
O., about ten years g l succeeded as a
paragraphist well enough to achieve a very
good local re equation, and moved to Cleye-
land AMI took charge of the city depart
ment of Thu Plain Dealer newspaper. l
here commenced the Artemus Ward papers.
The selection of that nom de plume was
purely accid l wrote the first on q
local subject, not surprising / should write
another. Somehow, Idoa't know how, the
nams Ward entered my head AMI I used it
Some five years ago ! moved to New York
and assumed the editorial conduct OF Van
ity FAR, succeeding Mr.. Charles G. Leland.
For the past four years I have lectured al
most constantly, and with success that IN
perhaps u~nsqualed, considering what O
startling innovation | nave made upon u
long-e jtablishei institution. My writings
and lecturing have given me a competency.
lhave a liberal offer to go to England this
fall, on a lecturing tour, and I may accept.
l am writing now a book of travels, giving
my experiences among the Mormons, etc.
live in New York city, although I spend
a portion of my summers here with my
mother.
That is about all / have only drifted
with the current, which, somehow, has car
ried me gaily on, of its own accord. And
as am frank enough to say this, I hope l
have always meant the creatures of my
burlesques should stab Error and give
Right a friendly pu,h. You are at liberty
" . hdtb-, aiUIOuSh NY lOtuCt IL
necessarily written in a great hurry, for
nm extremely busy. 1 am popularity sup
posed to be frustrating here, but it is a
CHASTITY mockery. am working very hard,
+ y = = The sketch in Leslie, to which
you allude, was pleasantly written by my
dear friend, the lats Frank Wood who died
just when we were all predicting a brilliant
career for him. l thank you for your
kindly letter, and am, faithfully yours,
CHARLES F. BROWNE,
"Artemus Ward"
DISTINGUISHED PAIL BEARERS.
Yesterday l had as a guest at my house
one of Artemus Wards pail bsarers-Mr.
Edward Curtiss. of San Francisco. He was
full OF kind reminisc ences of the dead
humorist. ''The pail bsarers,n said Mr..
Curtiss, "were four Americans and four
Englishmen, as follows:
AMERICANS. ESGLIsHMEN.
l. Charles Dix. artist, son l. Tom Hood, Jr, son Of
OF Gen. Dix. Tom Hood. editor Of
!. Lawrence Barrett, &C . Blanchard Jerold, Jr,
tor. son of Douglas Jerold.
o A. g. Chadburn, school, 8. Thomas H RICHARDSON,
mate. author of Ours and
Caste
l. Edward n. Curtiss. 4 Andrew Holiday, edi-
tor of Dickens All
the Year Round.'"
Inc Iuu6f1l WAS Deiu III bHo cIdpSl OIL Lie
Kensal Green cemetery on March 8, 1861,
AMI the funeral throng was made up OF
such names a; Tennysons Miss Braddon,
NJ. D. Con way and Chief Justice Coleridge.
ARTEMUs IN A TURKIsH BATH.
In 1857 l went with Artemus to thu ia
nous Turkish baths on Twelfth street. On
a sofa we saw two attendants pulling at
the head AMI featof a bather. They seemed
to be trying to pull him apart. After pull
ing him a spell they would warm him up
AMI pull him again.
What are you pulling the man SO forg
asked Artenus.
"He Ice IS half al inch of being tall enough
to be a p1lic,man,n said the mans friend.
"Ani can yod really stretch him out.i
"Why, yes. We can stretch a man over
an inch in two weeks answered thu man.
This l have since foun1 to be a fact.l
.eWell, well, wellr' said Artemus thought
fully; II you can really stretch out a man
liks that, / wish some one would stretch
BayarI Taylor into a Humboldt"
ELI PERKINS