The semi-weekly miner., 1885-02-14

TMe.. .sss'er ian n Il srs
serve market
.H1Ax,raa' h mofs apt 10 bs original
than anything SlssIxritten.
Guar hainseem Ike tl,e light Of 2
soft moon, yet are, apt to turn ones
stomach Il found IN plate OF hash
Carl Prekers Weekly.
Or tho Parsees there are only 2OO,-
600 n the world. They, are. not up nu-
merioally to the Smiths, to say nothing
i OF the 6mithes and Smythes. .-Iezas
6Vttsgs.
"rHEREs room at the TOP" !" is good
motto for bald-headed men.-Ct'.ct't'
sSati Merchant 2rdveler. Not very de-
sirsble sroom, for there's no air.
/ KhitehuA Tisses.
TIE yearly ratio Of suicidcs u the
Lowest In Naples OF any Of Our greas
cities. The Injunction to "Scc Naples
and die" does not seem to bc strictly
obeyed,-Losoeu Citizen.
"YouR father is worth, at least. halt
million" said he to bis jealous sweet"
heart. "That is;true ;" che murm,'red.
"And yet, you doubt my love" he re-
piled in IN Injured tone.-Teras Syt'
i11s. .-.- -
Oh, yes, dear girl, work us . motto
for . present But have some taste.
Last year . girl gave Us one that read:
>Honesty Is the best policy, and
another damssl ouethat declared: Re
rent, Tor the kinQdom of Heaven is ct
hand!" Somehow these didn't strike
us pleasantly. They seemed to be-wel,
YOU observation-disclosures Post
IT Is related of q certain disting nguished
citizen Of Massachusetts,, who Is not now
living, chat, after his return from .
abort Earopean tour. he Was accastom'
ed to refer to it more frequently than
good taste would dictate, and that on
being asked to deliver prayer III pub"
lie he began: "Oh Lordl Thou know.
est vhea / was in Europe" etc.
A Paris correspondent Of the Phila,
dslphia Times says, speaking Of q hotel
dinner: "The piece de resistance was
good fat chicken, stuffed with flesh
trud1es." We have seen similar
chickens In American hotels. perhaps
not 90 fat, but there was enough resist
saeeto prevent any one OF our teeth
from being the entering wedge. to .
hearty meal.-Teras ISytisa0s.
An American who had . jolly German
friend wished to become acquainted
with the Germans charming wife.
well" said the German, ''ofe you
dreat, dot will pc all rigdt." After the
treat the German led him over to where
the lady was sitting with number of
friends. 'Katrina," said the husband,
syou know dot man?" "No," said
Katrina, modestly. "Vell, dots himl'
Rev. DR.. Mark Trafton, in 'Zios's
Herald, is stirred up on the subject Of
church choirs, and thus delivers himself:
''Give me a bass drum or q Chinese
gong rather than our quartettes OF two
youngsters with their hair parted exact
" in the middle, and pair of young
girls with their wool gathered over
their eyes like q merino sheep or
Scotch poodle, who troll out something
which nobody can understand, and call
it the praise of Godr" -
Mr. JALEs was talking to the oldest
daughter about q visitor who was ct
their house.
aHow long will he remainP" the
young lady asked.
ri guess he will stay here all the
time"
"Good heavens. we don't want him.
"But he told me he was going to stay"
"Did he positively say sop"
"Well, not exactly, but he said he'd
remain until your mother got into
good humor, and If he really means
what he says guess we might as we'll
prepare for q permanent boarder' At
least. daughter, that has been my OK
perience for the 35 years I've been re-
maining."-Milton Neacs.
The editor of paper has more ques-
tions asked him, and gives more an
swers, than any man living, though some
of the answers may not he right For
instance, correspondent of an eastern
paper, says: u have horse that has
lately suffered from periodical dizziness.
Please answer through .our valuable
paper and let me know what should
do with him. I'm afraid he will get
worse if something is not done soon"
The editor puts on his glasses, consulta
the authorities on blind staggers in
horses, end answers as follows: "Our
advice, based on q perusal of the valu-
able book, Every man his own horse
DOCTOR would be to take the horse some
TINA whan he is not dizzy, and sell him
TO straagef." The average horse own
+er would not need the advice, as he