Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1885-10-28
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.

Al = ~ = - nav ~ AL w ElN L..
al can always tell newly married
couple" says q joker "They are 80
anxious to appear as though they had
been married IA long time that they
overdo the thing. They are romantic.
They go for "A walk In the woods, and
she returns with her arms full of flow
era and her face full dwell, they are
always there-smiles. They 20 up to
the fancy stand. She sees something
abe wants. She says: ooh, Charlie,
buy me this?' Now, dear, you don't
want that Indeed l do. Come,
now = No, not to-day Charlie 4!
She gives him a pleading look, that
only bride can give. His hand dives
into his pocket. She gets the article"
Job. yes, We can always tell "new-
married couple" Who couldn't?
"Does your mother speak of me, dar:
Z" I'm 80 glad" :" She says che sup.
poses VEN be married very soon"
" That's pleasant. IL she likes me 30
much, we'll be very happy, won't
we >" "Oh, ma thinks we ought to
get married at once" "she is anx.
ious to have me for a son-in law, ism t
back hair has rained every tidy in the
parlor."
A Unique Paper. Weight" That's a
| rather unique looking paper weight you
have there" said Alpha, indicating a
Icuriously shaped article lying on the
table of his friend Omega. Yes, u
said the latter, picking up the object
and eying it critically. You know
they have begun to teach cooking ir
the schools, and this is a dough nu
baked by my sister Clio after taking
on ly six lessons in the domestic art.
A Texas cattle man married refined
lyoung lady belonging to the best society
fof Dallas. A friend, meeting him
shortly after his marriage, congratu
lated him on his happy fortune. " III
all right ;but had 10 make sacrifices, ;
replied the newly made husband, shak
ling his head. What sacrifices %
bad to give up going to bed with my
boots and spurs on when l came hom'
tired"
At country hotel a traveller retire.
to his room, leaving word that he Is 4
be called for an early train. In thu
morning he is aroused from q swee
sleep by the porte knocking vehement
ly at the door. "Who's there % Ar,
yon the gentleman that Was to be called
for the 5.15 train >" "Yes." "Al
right. Then you can go TO sleel
again sir the trains gone"
| Young wife to husband !: Dom
you notice a difference in the milk
dear ?" Young husband "Yes thi
Ia much better .han we have been get
ting" Young wife Very mucl
better. got it of a new man. III
said he would guarantee 1t to be per
fectly pure, and 80 bought enough Il
last for a week.
Mrs. Briggs :: " Victor Hugo's famil.
have refused to let his brain be ex
amined." Mr.. Briggs d" They wer
right. should not allow any one t
exa anime my BRAIN" Mrs. Briggs "
don't think you will ever be troubles
with any one asking you to do so, m.
dear"
"Are you superstitious, dear >" sal
Mrs Birdie to stranger to whom sh
had bt come engaged. Not bit bu
why do you ask ?" replied the youth
Nothing, except that you are the tbir
tenth young gentleman TO whom hav
been engaged"
Il Coddlepate used to rave over Mis-
GurliRurl's hyacinth cur.s. Since b
has iscovered that they are fastene
on with hairpins he has Chosen ne'
floral emblem, and now calls ther
"lielocks."
ii 81 wish l could have seen you
great feat" said lady TO q gentlema
who had met with n hazardous adver
tare in Africa. " Thece they ar,
madam" said he, pointing TO his peds
: extremities.
A certain Wisconsin lady has horn
t on her head, which she conceals by
, beau also has horns," but he tries
I conceal them by chewing Glove.
u Tommy, did you hear your motht
call your" "Cours3 1 did" I" The
/ why don't you go to her at once?
F" Well you see, she's nervous, and it.
shock her awful if should go too SUI
!, den"
!. A bachelor statesman says it woul
d be quite easy to pay the nations
debt by imposing "A tax on besut
: because there isn'ta woman living
:, the country who would not demand
a be assessed.
Jones, who had just come from Flo
n euce, being asked whether he was Il
i, in raptures with the Venus de Medic
replied. Well, to tell the truth,
don't care about those stone gals"
yt An Irishman contentedly laid b
head upon large stone jar for q pillo'
: aud replied to one who inquired II
was not rather hard. Not at all, n
Jewel. for have stuffed it with hay
"You s-ee," said Blooms to b
lsweetheart, In describing how he stel
Iped on a lsdy's train and tore 1t, 81
lI--lost my head. you KNOW I'D
4 lyou miss it much 2" she cruelty querie
n They were in the woods gatherin
ferns for book. Said he, lookir
N things unuttersble: 81 wish W
N a fern, Gussie." Why?" she aske
n 3" why-p'raps you-might-press N
4 too F."
vi MIR. Stubbips says thst he alwa
7 had u weakness for vegetable garde
IS ing, but when he found his roof full
:; leaks he thought it was time to pla
himself elsewhere.
He: "Oh, you know, I'm not III
an ordinary clerk. 1 talk to the mel
oers of the firm just rs do to you
t. She: "Oh, good Rraciousl George, "
20 don't really, do your"
u u There is one place in the count
20 where the people are so polite that thu
n