The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-04-16
THE MERRY SIDE!

JEFF Davis is SICK and Secretary Endicott must
drape his flags in mourning, ready for the funeral
-
At last told that Sullivan and Ryan have
"gotten up match.' They are going to strike it,
The most effective style arbitration is the method
used In Kentucky. When you get into dispute,
shoot the other fellow.
Gentlemen, whenever you doggery quit bust-
want of patronage, you may know that times
are hard. But wait till you see it,
The baseball season has begun, and the pitchers
are attempting to study style of frown which
will strike terror into the poor batter,
-
No Democratic ofice-holder hope to take his
family by surprise, on going home They have been
reading of turning the rascals out.''
Now if we could only domesticate the crow and the
blue jay, along with the English sparrow, what de-
lightful music would fill the orchard
The Indians of Canada are in rebellion under the
leadership of a half breed named Riel. What sug-
gestive name. 1t makes one think of a rope.
+x+
The scourge of Democracy passed over this wicked
country FALL but this Spring the pure air of Re
publican victory greets the smiling earth again.
80
Out in Nevada, IL C2nulOale omce tic'tIo W.
ter he fned and the put in the School Fund
This law will soon make politics dull and uninter
esting.
The Prince of Wales has been visiting ireland and
shaking hands with the people-but many of them
would rather shake him by the nape of the neck.
jeff Davis telegraphed his sympathy to Gen. Grant
JEFF grateful to all those who engaged in putting
down the Rebelon-grateful that they did not break
his traitorous neck
If Lamar had to the death of Jake
Thompson, why could he not be consistent? Why
didn't he halfmast smallpox shirt instead OF nag
'Im going to do the very best can for the labor
interests!'' said the demagogue. 'When ye going to
die?'' shouted an honest workman in the audience.
+.*
The Confederate journals seem to think that Gen.
Lee did a very magnanimous thing in surrendering
to Gen. Grant. Well, he did. He saved the lives OF
a good many of his followers.
-
As the Democratic politician contemplates the fig
ures of the Spring returns he feels that the
Democratic Administration just got there" in time
The Ohio Legislature has been sowing to the wind,
and the whirlwind has been reaped in the Spring
elections. The Legislative body has been endorsed.
The people endorsed it by hitting it on the head with
a club.
The newspapers claim that there is ''pink-eye'
among the students at Yale College. This is horse
disease and we did know that it affected the cross
of the horse with other animals. There will proba-
bly, be hollow horn discovered in the college next
Henry Ward Beecher is engaged in soldering ovel
the merits of the Solid South Henry is good dea
like the old COW who the heifer jump over the
pickets She tried to do the thing, and ripped
hersefup. Henry's greatness is thing of the past
When Queen Victoria watches for the Prince o
Wales return from ireland, she goes out and look
| up toward the clouds. He may come that way, bu
| she will hear the report before he starts.
! SO
There is one thlng-and only one-which worrie
the long haired statesmen of the Solid South now
They whipped out of their boots in the field 1
they could only wipe out this stain upon the South1
| honah,'' their happiness would be complete.
| A woman died in New Hampshire, and when the.
went to preach the funeral the family could not re
member her name, she having always gone by tn
name of .'mother.n This reminds us Oft the old Dem
whose boys had been to town, and were dfsput
ing as to who President of the United States on
claiming that 1t Cleveland the other that 1t wa
| Hendricks. "Shet up, ye fooisr' said the old mar
| 'yer both wrong. Gineral Jackson hez bin Presi
| dent fur more'n fifty years.