Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-22

A CHAIR OF NATRIMONY is talked of at Vas
sar COZ eye. Or course II wi ] he a big rock
ing-chair strong enough to hold twO.-Ohicqgo
RdD,5Rer.
WHAT do they do when they install min
lsterf" inquired a small hoy. "DO they put
him in a stall, and feed him?" Not bit,
said his father: "they harness him TO d
church, and expect HIM TO draw it alone."-
Boston 1rGnscript.
lMAGINATIoN goes great way toward
rendering life enjoyable. There is man IN
the Ihlrd ward who fairly revels in crackers
and water, # he can only have a choice blll OF
fare to read While he is eating .-Pht1adeZ0hta
CAL.
TENNYsoN, in his new poem, says: 1.-THE
dead are not dead, but alive" We have no.
ticed this peculiar Y of the dead The Phi a.
deiphls Itmes, in an editorial emit Ell Don't
be clam" few days ago, strongly timated
that the alive are not alive, but dead.-Nor-
risto,on HerGkd.
INA: did you know old Mr.. Slmkins?''
asked Mildred. Yes, dear" replied the o q
lady. "He IS dead" SNOW that's too bad
Eve known him so many years" ''The paper
says he was an oCtogenarau." "Oh, no;
there must be some mistake about that. He's
been a Cumoerl4nd PRESBYTERIAN ever since /
knew HIM. ittabarg CAroDicIe.
"YoU'RE a good -for-nnthiug. law bov ,,
said BOsi on mother TO her lO-year~odt son,
who refused to rellnqu sh reading classic
WORK, III order to carry up scuttle OF coal
from the cellar. Why, mother, deny ali
your allegation in toto" he replied, win the
dignity OF professor. Your assertion 10 not
OniN abnormslly absurd, out subs antialiv in
CORE I. | am not laZy, but merely cOnstitu-
tlOnally inert.-Aew York JOur1taE.
HANDSOMELY CORRECTED. - Sometimes
even the most wideawabe and accurate re
porter II lab q o err, a. IS shown by the cor
rectiOn In The Schuy Ter EindicGfOr: "Ins cad
81 tletpS arrest ed yesterda' rs we SRI ell, for
slcSthg hi. wife wn a light Of stairs and
hr1 ri ufr FaH L..
Rev. mes Wellman disd unmarred. four
years ago." 1t is 81 be hoped that r V. Well
man accepts this hearty correction in the
same generous spirit in which 1t is rendered.
-E1chdHge.
THE JUB JUB Bird
Nv hat Is that, mother?"
The ugwump, my child,
Singing It's lay in accents wild;
IL roosts on the ground, for it cannot stand,
Aud sings its song with it, head in the sand,
In cast of feathers It Is urrayed,
And its head 10 the biggest just when it is
layed,
1t has just been licked with election scores,
And, though 1t cart fly, you bet it sores
And sores, and sores, and sOro-. and sores"
-BroOklgn EGgEe.
THE following good joke is at the expense
OF hic3go ctor: He was about to anas-
thetze patent when, ia answer to a ques-
ton. he informed the victim that he would be
entirely UNCONSCIOUS, and know nothing until
the Offending 2TowtE had been remOv d. The
patient &c ordingly commenced to fish his
loose cha &c out OF his pocket.
''Oh. you need no: mind the fee until | am
through" rcmarked the cODsiderale doctor.
Il don't intend to pay you yet," returned
the patient; Il wish merely to count my
money to see how much have" The doctor
saw the pO'nt. ami was much amused.-Medt-
cal and SHrgicdk Exporter.
THE ID VII AND L.
The devil? Yes have often seen him,
Cnangeful ever ia form and face;
Once IN tnr shape of a lump Of money,
Once like a maid in useful grace.
Once Ike lifelong hope acc mpished,
Once In the shape of thOu ht inst lied,
Once n the guise of my hearts ambition,
once like promise Of joy fulfilled.
Never he comes as a roaring lion,
No! He ID always calm and biand,
Courte 'us, witty, and pleasant spoken
As the bravest gentleman in the land,
Vt g cheating game thai we play together;
But he's no. so clever rs men opine!
know that his worship'e dice are loaded
He does not know shat I've loaded NINE?
-Tec1s S,Jttngs.