Omaha daily bee., 1885-08-12
TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS.
Some Of The BOTGS Who HanT About
a Newspaper Office,
A Brief Sketch Of Several Varieties
THE Man with a Pointer"

imagine that the life of newspaper mar
Is one Of rollicking ease and comfort
the softest and most desirable sort of ar
existence possible. To the sophisticated
who know of the daily life Of the msr
"born to Ink and misery" an impression
Of this kind ssvors Of the awfully ridicu
lous.
One painful phase of newspaper
man troubles Is the manner In which he
is besleged by heartless bores. A briel
wrlte-up of aome of these people Gn
general way) may serve to diminish the
number about this flee at least, provi-
ded those whose portraiture Is herein
made, will recognize their pictures and
take broad hint.
One Ct the greatest banes OF news
paper mans life is the individual who has
the uulet pointer knows 1t all. !"
This msn will ome into the Office with a
quiet and stealthy tread, casting fur'ive
glanceB st every quarter of the floor and
ceiling, and will proceed In nihilistic
whisper to tell the scribe of sope awful
mystery that ought to be written up, aud
which would prove the greatest sensa-
tion on earth" If there Ia fire, this
man always knows that 1t Is ineendiary,
and knows just about who is the hend.
In fact IL ere is no matter on which he is
not possessed of quiet but strictly rell-
able "pointer." His Information is al
ways impaired to the victim with mys-
terious ''ss-h" and "don't you men
ton my name" Hewill tell you of some
man or some women who ought to be
savsgely "toastea" in the columns of the
paper-will pour into your ear full psr-
ticulars-but will invariably couple his
information with the enjoinder "Now
don't tell anybody where you got your
pointer"
Then there are the people who wan
the paper TO write up thls and write up
that. They expect the paper to correct
every abuse that exists on the face of the
earth. This clats of people generally
operate through mall Communication.
They invariably forget to sign their
names, and hide behind such nom de
plumes as Curious" "InquiAitlve, and
the old threadbnre Constant Reader. "
The following Is an extract from let
ter which is fair sample:
''To the Editor of The BEE:
| Will you explain why it is that certain per-
| sons in Omaha are allowed to rent honses for
the purpose of prostitution in the very midst
of respectable communities? Why is il that
the law is not dealt out to all alike.
"CeRIoUs."
The writer, lashed to fury, by the
solemn echo of his own question, raves
and tears his hair for five or ten minutes
longer, propoundlng series OF questions
to answer which would take the better
portion of mans natural life.
Another anonymous correspondent
wants to know why 1t Is that certain
youpg man on the corner of Blank street
and Blsnkety avenue sis allowed to be
continually drumming on his plano. at
all hours of tho day and night. Won't you
please put a piece in the paper 80 that
he will see It and take the hint2"
Now the writer forgets that the editor
Of this paper Is not omniscleat. He can
not for the life of him tell why this
young man is allowed to practice in the
manner described. and if he did know,
wouldn't impart the information for
nothing. And be it uuderntooa this paper
can't undertakethe task of pitchlr ginto all
the embryo Beethovens and MozArts-it
hasn't got the time or space.
A third individual, who writes with
red Ink and forgets to dot his "rs" and
cross his cts" pours forth his souls an
gulsh in half column letter about a soap
factory in certain locality, whore odor
is grievously offensive to the good cltl-
zens of that qdarter of town, He asks
the editor to iuform him why this is thus
why such terrible stencil mills srs al
lowed to watt their baueful efiiuvla over
the city, and winds up with fearful ap-
peal, the theme of which Is, "Abolish the
soap factory"
Columns could be taken up in the de-
scription of this class of people who want
to air any and every grievance, no matter
how disgustingly trivial it may be, in the
paper.
THE NATURAL-BoRN GENIUS.
The man who is naturally horn tc
journalistlc work Is to be found in al
sizes, colors and species around news
paper office. he is a genius, and car
Jump into the editorial chair, or the
Ieportorial chair, and fill 1t with the mosI
glorious case, provided 1t doesn't cave in
under the weight of so much solid wis
dom and talent One of these delight
fol creatures is frequently about the BEE
office. He Is one of your lsh-de-dah
young men, beautifully dressed, and tony
in every reapsot, A whistle is oontin-
ually gurgling from his mouth. When he
mounts the stairs to the editorial rooms
the whistle continues to gurgle mora and
more rapidly aud loudly. 1t in;
creases to furious pitch, and
he bursts into the room with Q
2x7 emile, and asks, "Got that posi.
tion ready for me yet2 "When informed
that there Is no opening at pres mt and that
there may possibly be q vacancy within
the next two or three months for which
there are already 1901 applicants, the
'lad-de-dah" gracefully bows himself
out, after filing mode,t request that he
be allowed first chance. 1t is noteworthy
that the genius knows nothing of news
paper work-was teacher and dldn't
rise to brilliant distinction in that VEGA
tlan-but is nevertheless full hsdged
journalist of brilliant parts. Rare man,
that ''iah-de dab. /"
The natural horn post or poetess Is an
other Into. be-dreaded apparitlon
haunting the ne wspsper Office. He or she
generally floats upon the scene with q
huge roll of manuscript, containing some