Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-04
BRIGHT BITS.

WHILE a Virginia farmer was watching his
melon patch the oJher night some one stole
his wife away.-Dstroit Free Press.
MRS. JoNEs-"They tell me that that Smith
fellow is paying his addresses to the widow
Robinson"
Mrs. Brown-"I don't believe a word OF it,
Mrs. Jones. Paying mis- audresses! The fell
low never paid anything in his life"
Transcript.
A YOUNG MAN Of years, who had already
five brothers, was told one day that he had a
sister. As the news seemed to affect him
rather badly, he was finally prevailed upon
to tell what the trouble was. Sobhing, he
told his mother That he wanted all brothers,
as ne WAS in hopes OF having a base ball nine.
Chicago Times.
A oUN MAN denounces straw bonneta
because they chafe his ears" Here, now. is
a question for scientists. Can they explain
how IL IS that a bonnet worn by one person
can chafe the ears Of another person not
wearing 1t? Eh? HOw's tuat? Dwell, well,
now that may be-. How stupid not to see it
before.-ForeigR Er.
YESTERDAY Chinese storekeeper who kept
silk handkerchief for sale, was induced TO
sell one for 90c. which he hau asked - so for at
first. Hoy much do you make on this sale2''
was asked after the trade was made. "Oh,
90e.,' was the reply. but how can you
make 90C when th8t is all you get for it?''
''Oh, me steal UNI, ~ cOolly said the Chinaman,
as he threw the money into the drawer
. Cfta fctef -AA'NfehAeeF
SIR EDWARD WATKIN tells the following
capital story TO point the moral Of las right
rs uiEepence in q lawyers pOCket:' An at
torney in the Black country, saysS Sir Edward,
swallowed half a sovereign. With a view to
recover the god coin surgical skill was in
vOsed, but the utmost the stomach-pump.
aided by strong eusctics, could recover was
IS. I'd. change. The balance of 6s. Sd. had
gone into the Legal system of the unfortunate
attorney. and was not get-at-able.-FOreign
Ercb0n99.
AFTER the cyclone at Charleston a planter
living near the city crawled out from the de-
bris OF his house and looked around to figure
up his damage, In the chicken yard he found
a darSey on mis- knees with a chicken under
each arm praying for mercy.
"What are you doing here, Sam, stealing
chickensg'
mo, san; fob de Lord, sab. I done saw dat
wind comm, and 1 just tux them chickens 50
dey wouldn't blow away, sab! Hope to die,
sah.'-NjnRsdD0tis Mail.
GEN. S. had some shirts made at a fashion
able hOsier's, and the cutter, a few weeks
later, met the General with a friend walking
in Broadway. The General remembered the
face. but could not place him, and the cutter
greeted him with: ''GOOd-morning. General
how are you to-dav?" The General stopped,
shook hands. and the CATER, perceiying Tint
the Genenal's mind needed refreshing, said,
quietly: Made your shirts" so, / beg par
don " said the General, quickly, and. turning
To the gentleman with whom he was walk
ing, he said: Colonel. allow me to introduce
YOU to my friend, Maj. schurz."-NeD York
Ledger.
UNDER A TRUNK
When the baggage smasher meets his foes
With courage noble and with manly blows,
He smites the trunks from right to left,
And laughs triumphant over size and heft.
He has no fear OF straps or locks,
lie believes in hitting mighty knocks;
Down with the baggagen' Is his cry,
As round about the splintcrs fly.
When some day he's put under ground,
And no more can be jumping round.
A broken trunk above his head
should show 10 all his earthly bed.
Boston Bud5et.