National Republican., 1885-08-08
CARING FOR CRANKS.

THE EXPERIENCE OF THE SANITARY OFF.
GER WITH THE MoNoMANIAcs OF THE
DISTRICT.
"There seems TO be steady increase
Of the pauper element coming to town."
remarked REPUBLICAN man as he laid
aside the reports Of Sanitary Officer
Teeple in the latter's Office yesterday.
'There is slight increase" said Mr..
Teeple. 'Last year." continued the
officer, ''it cost $4,000 for their trans.
portation from this city to their homes.
The hospitals furnish quite number of
paupers; the police add quota, and a
number come here themselves. They
are not confined to either sex, any age
or color. Many are far advanced in
years, and suffer with diseases peculiar
to old age. / get transportation for
them and send them home, which is
much cheaper for the District than send.
ing them to the workhouse or almshouse.
Sometimes the same parties find their
way back to my office. On giving them
transportation caution them not to re-
turn here under severe penalties, and !
find 1t to he needed in the majority OF
cases.
"Are you bothered now with many
cranks2"
"They come along occasionally. The
worst time with them was during Gen.
GarGeld's illness. never thought that
so many could be gathered together in
one town as came here from all parts OF
the country. Their crankiness was OF
all sorts. There we're queens of beauty,
of the world, and Of everything imagi.
nable. The worst queens of the lot
were the old women, who thought them.
selves the loveliest of beings. | was SO
much bothered with them that sal
down one day and thought out scheme
to stop their mouths from incessant
chatting. struck it happily when put
up on the wall of my office big mirror.
That was settler for them. The mo.
ment they spied their faces in the mirror
there was no more. talking. This
did first class duty, but l found another
trouble, and that was to get them away
from the mirror. The male crank was
almost as bad as the woman in the ex
uberance of his gall. could have given
away tobacco factory. A policeman
brought to me a crank who called him
self the "king of the world and the
great major of police of the universe y
After telling me all about himself IL
wound up by asking for chew Of to
bacco. / don't use it, but the Office
pulled out whole plug, aud the cranl
bit off the greater part of it
and handed back the remnan
to the officer. The officer looked
surprised, looked at the man, expecting
every minute to see him choke to death
and in a quaint way asked him if he hat
enough to last over Saturday.
81 see many sorrowful exhibitions Of
human troubles. Nearly every crank
whan olcgn,r ,neei;o-od. lot -. -.
son for his unfortunate condition. Bus
mess losses, domestic troubles, religion
excitement are the prominent cause
leading to unbalancing their minds. Th
cranks so mellow catch on to the whit
house as soon as they get here. Som
of them want the whole earth, other
again are satisfied to take small posi-
tons, but want enormous salaries OF
tached to the places. AS a rule tn
officeseeking crank is quite harm
less. Catch rabil religion
crank and you have q snorter. l fin
that the majority of the cranks are O
average intelligence, and outside of thei
mania talk very well. The District au
thorities have dealt very kindly with thi
class, and have been imposed upon b
other cities sending here their crauis I
be cared for. | could tell many funn
stories about them, and, on the otht
hand, many sad ones. / can't under
stand how the friends of such people ca
let them wander around at will. The
endanger themselves and are source {
danger to people who don't know or Ut
derstand them"