The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1885-11-19
WIT AND HUNTOR.

1t must be said of Alf Tennyson that
he wrote mono of the poetry on Gen.
Grant now flooding the country.-Mit
a0Gateee Journal.
The man whose name gets into the
| paper without his consent should go
and comfort the man whose pame Is
left out when he wanted it in.-NeU
Orleans Picajuae.
A Denver Chinaman, who stumbled
over nest of hornets. was seen the
| next moment flying down the street
| yelling: .Jossr' 'sDamr' '.Mellican
hellee free birdsr'
Manager of opera to the musicaJ
director-"Herr Capellmeister, wish
You would make your tempo faster to-
day than usual, SO that we may save
gas. FlfegeaEde Blaefter.
The wise man forseeth the evil and
| prepareth unto himself a cyclone-pit
Even if the tornado fails to arrive the
pit Will come in handy during family
disturbances. = SOngerCtste Journal.
"a new policeman on the beat" re-
marks an esteemed contemporary.
Well, that's too bad. The old police-
man was on the beat too. Times don't
seem to improve any.-Brookkyp Eagle.
Gent-Did you know Victor Hugo,
the poet, who died the other dayP
Barber - Know himp OF course ]
did I once shaved the great man, and
still keep the lather as q souvenir. -
Kladderadatch.
A fashion item says s.Red kids are
now fashionable. - This is not an
original idea. It is an aboriginal no.
ton. Red kids have long been FASH
ionable among the Indians. Norris
to10as Herald.
monkeys TO play baseball. The beau
ty of monkey baseball player is that
il he muffs ball with his first pair Of
hands he can catch it with the second.
Burlington Free Press.
Ibid you ever study botany, Miss
Clara?p he asked, as ne handed her q
beautiful bouquet.
NO, she replied, Al never had 4
taste for anything of that sort, but /
am passionately fond of flowers. ~
~. T. Times.
Some one has suggested that il the
inventor of the photograph would
bring out a little machine to be at
taehed to tho door, which would say.
when the landlord called for the rent,
Come again next month, y Il would
nave q good sale.
a Brooklyn policeman was fined two
days pay for saying to a citizen: "You
would swear the legs OF an iron pot. .
Brooklyn insists upon the observation
of the proprieties. The next time that
policeman makes the remark he will
say Climbs instead of legs. 's--Ps
burg (Pal Chronicle.
EuIalie-..E udora, dear, is fringe
coming into fashion againg'' Eadora--
II don't know, ] am engaged to the
new minister ssYes. dear. but what
has that to do with its'' ..iVhy. he's
so modest. it's the only way can pre-
vent him from kissing my forehead in
stead Of my lips. The RatE
Il is reported that a man who hsd
stopped all the season at q Long
Branch hotel was robbed OF q, 900 on |
the train while Teturning from New
York. This item is untrue on the face |
Of IL No man was ever known 60 get j
away from Long Branch hotel with i
any such sim. Rochester Post Ezpress /
Miss Elite. who has inst returned
from the country, says she thinks &c /
must Be awful 70 be 3 negro. inst
think, she says. - negro might
spend q whole sammer Sc the hsGch, I
aud when be retgrns 70 town aakodg
would suspect tor morars that he
had teen away ''--lF gsIet 1raaserkck.
slinsEd vas ss tbs circus watching
3 family q aefpbsts FsrfsrssiRF feat
feEEsE fhs hnIztAB ladder 4 stSzfs
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