Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-04-17
+ N POINT.

"A silent partner is one who makes
no noise and leaves nothing.
Babies cry for the same reason
that some men swear. It's because
they don't know any better.-M Y.
Journal.
The last symptom of the slady''
craze is in a recent advertisement in q
New York paper, which says: "a
young lady would like a position as
Dish-Washer in q restaurant"
"A family in New York were poi
soned by buckwheat cakes. There is
nothing safe at present but fasting, and
even that becomes dangerous after a
certain length of time.SIroy Times.
1.-THE way to Sleep" says a scien-
fist, ''is to think of nothing" When
an editor wants to slumber all he has to
do is to try and remember how much
money he has in the world.-Bostos
Post.
"A CONDENSED" edition of Web
ster's dictionary is announced. This
may improve the work without Destroy
ing the plot. We have always regarded
the volume as too prolix.-Burlimgtoo
Hawkeye.
The fact that all the peach-blos-
SONS have been killed and the fact that
next summer we will have just as many
peaches as ever lead to only one infer
ence, Ind that is that peaches do aot
grow on peach-trees.-Boston Post.
The Lawyers way:
Said 1s Harry, Scan you tell
How ,ers do TO dress SO we'll 2"
Said ry, Eyes. they're SO defiant, .
To get a suit they strip their client"
SUD Tom, you're wrong; they closer NIP
They first obtain the suit-then strip him"
No n is e killed by lightning
when asleep in bed, according to the
assertion OF an English electrician.
Whenever you hear a clap of thunder
always go to bed and fall asleep inn
mediately. This is a sure p~recaution.
IN Y. Graphic.
$50 Mr.. Blank was here to-day?''
Servant-"Yes. sir" Sand you told
him what l said, I suppose?" eyes.
sir" Ibid he take umbrage?" II
didn't notice sir; but if he did, he'll
bring it back. He's a very particular
gentleman, you know!"-Boston Tran
script.
Young Lady Cat hotel tabloC-Do
you know that vulgar person at the adj
joining table who is eating with his
knifeP Another Young Lady-Is it
possible you don't know Mr.. Smith.
whose uncle has just died and left him
a million dollars? Young Lady-No; is
that he? How gracefully he handles his
knife.-M. Y. Sun. .
-Ceacher-.'Now, what do you I'M
derstand by brain work?" Boy
..When a man works with his head"
Teacher-''Correct. And what is man,
ual labor?" Boy-"When a man
works with mis- hands" Teacher
''That's right. To which of these
classes do 1 belong when 1 teach you.
What do Iuse most in teaching you?''
Boy-'.A strap."-Te1as Siittimgs.
-.'See here" said the managing edi-
tor, kindly, but firmly, to the young
man who has just come to do the fires
and dog-fights, and assume general
charge of the entire paper; you must
be a little more careful in your gram
mar and spelling. Youmake too much
trouble for the compositor and proof
reader. You say in this article he had
went and we have never saw Then
you spell separate with tive ps and
four es, and you say we have come to
the conclution' and that we are horra-
fde at the bear ideea.' Now, you must
be more careful and"- cav, we'll,
look here, Shorty" cried the new
young man, ''give a fellow a chance.
You got to remember I've been in COLI
1ege for eight years and haven't had d
chance to learn anything" The man
aging editor forgave him, and pro-
noted him to the carrier department.
-Burdette, in Brooklyn Eagle.