Milford chronicle., 1885-03-13

dollar each, for the pleasure OF hearing The great
lconocast. Never was an audience and a speaker
in closer sympathy applause shook the theatre az
every sarcastic allnsiOn TO the Rev Dewitt Tai
mage, who had attacked him IN a sermon tho pre-
yious Sabbath in which he proposed Imprisonment
as a punishment for Mr.. Ingersoll's offense Il
was at this point that Ingersoll fairly carried hls
hearers of their feet as he rose TO the snDreine
height OF elOquence. Our sister city must have
some missionary work, or the radicals win run
away with her.
In New York we have hsd a few scenes within
the past few weeks, which make me distrust our
boasted civilization. The city is full Of undertake
ers. You eau getyIn New York almost any kind Of
funeral yogSdesire, and at any price from twenty
four dollEFs to twenty four hundred. YeuF under
taker Though a very necessary man,is not always =
MODEST or economical man. His bill resembles
that OF Continental restaurant, where they charge
you for attendance for the plates the napkins, the
tumbers the pepper the saltthe cups the saucers,
and the use OF the teapot in addition 70 the tea.
In consequence Of the number Of these worthless,
there is an active competition for funerals, and on
several occasions the rivalry has been so fierce that
the parties have come to blows. The cOroners Of
New York have frequently been among the most
disgraceful Of our officials Chosen for their poli
ical services without the slightest regard to their
medical education-they have eagued themselves
with all sorts OF harpies and low rascals who en-
abled them to make the most out of their Offices
They were in with the underiakers, and the gentle
men kept a sharp lockout for every possible
chance Of an inquest. Two undertakers frequently
fight for the possession Of a body. and only the
ether day, when the mortal remains Of the dead
pugilist, Owney Gohegan, was brought on from Ar
I fftFr ranfHsu fhe
remains on their arrival at Jersey City and if the
widow, to prevent riot, had not surrendered her
claim. there might have been as hard fight over
the dead mans body as he ever saw in the prize
ring. disgraceful scene occurred for the posses
sion OF the bodies OF Policeman Murray and his
family, all Of whom were lost at the late fire on
John street, The two undertakers sliced each
other by the throais. and nearly made each other
subjects for a coroner's inquest before they were
parted by mutual friends.
Another feature OF rome Of our city funerals
brings US back to the dark ages though fights from
this cause are not as frequent as they were few
years ago. The Grand Street Ferry Is extensively
patronized by funerals going to Calvary and Ever
green Cemeteries. Frequently three or four fun
erals arrive at the game time. Il Is said that they
believe that the poor fellow who gets over the river
last, will have hard time in the other world so
each party is anxious to get frst, go that his
poor relation may not get left when he arrives at
the river Styx. Murderous fights have taken place
at this ferry which 1t required all the power Of the
police to crush; collins have been broken open and
skulls have been cracked to settle these questions
Of funeral precedence.
The snow storm in the early part Of the weel
gave Us for a few hours the finest sleighing OF th'
winter. Harlem lane was a sight. Nowhere il
the city can you see the swes as You see them o
a pleasant driving day on Harlem Lane. Every
body, who Is anybody, puts himself and his hors
on exhibition. The naboh with two hundred mil
lions has to turn on side for sporting butche
or a Dutch grocer. While our most blue-blOOde
arisocmcy delight in airing their nobility,our so
. democracy give them to understand that they owl
a share of the road II takes all sorts Of people
make a world and here you see them The sport
are always out in force, and our heaviest million
aire looks q good deal like a sport. No matte
what his father YVES or what he did he looked lik
an aristocrat 1t was not till the COmmodOr
. opened his mouth that you sized him. If he cOul
only have kept his mouth shut, you might hay
B mistaken him for a Gladstone or a Disraeli; bu
VIM. Il. " does not look like his father as h
dashes along Harlem Lane, and he always dees hi
own driving You might easily take him for tn
keeper of frst-class livery stable, or tRe A AE9pEje
tor of secondrate race Sg cold. fha e1ilIj'
,-.,I' Is me ne tightly Woun@e'
Iroai-..lslun Oi Geo. d. dOuo INTO 'he 9lOsA
Board was made the usual occasion for tomfoolery
and horse play. We protest against hazing in col
lepes bv a lot Of paper-headed boys but here are
erave old men behaving like lot of lunatics, tear
inc tbe clothes from mans back, smashing his
~. .,- his avaa bustllnp him about like a lot OF
street losfers and acting so near like blackguards
mat Won can't tell the difference This may be fun
bat none oft for Yours truly D.