The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1885-03-06
The Father at Home.

Some fathers fail to gain their chill.
drens confidence by an apparent lack
of sympathy. On the other hand, few
young people ever take the trouble to
put themselves in their fathers place
imagine how he must feel this or that
behavior, how a disrespectfu word or
look insults him, or how voluntary
confidence is priced by him. There
are many things, no doubt, which boys
and grls do not care to speak of be-
fore their father; but they do not
know how hurt pater tamiiids feels
when q conversation is stopped upon
his entering the room, when he is made
to feel that he is not one of the circle
that he is a power TO be respected
and propitiated, but no more. Very
often man has himself to blame for
this state of things, but not always
Often it is mere love of secrecy which
make girls especially exclude their
father as much as possible from a
knowledge of their doings, their fears
and hopes. With some this reticence
must be necessary. Condolences would
only be met with suspicion or blame or
ridicule. But most men have a tender
spot in their hearts, even for the weak
ness and foolishness of "their own
flesh" and feel panied when they are
silently condemned as unworthy of
confidence. Pater fdmilias may be
too proud to show that he feels hurt.
He may wrap himself up in dignity
and affect a contempt for the trifng
concerns of the girls he may even
repel the first advances, but his heart
may be exclaiming bitterly against the
GOODNESS and hardness which excludes
him from the knowledge of his daugh-
ter's mind and heart which is given to
half dozen school girl friends. A
girl owes much to her father, even if
he has not been to her all that parent
ought to be. He has had to work
hard, very probably, that her bread
and butter might be secured. He has
borne cares, anxieties, struggles, temp
tations, at which she can but guess
of which she can form no real concep-
tion. If he is hard and unsympathetic
some allowance for the nervous irrita
ton of an over-worked or anxious man
may surely be made. And girl new
er, we believe, has conception how
precious she is in her fathers eyes.
Rough words and cold or angry looks
may seem to disprove it, but it is true,
nevertheless. More, even, in a sense
than his wife, she appeals to his pro.
tective care. He may scold or slight
her, but let any real harm threaten her
and she will see that to touch her is to
touch the apple of his eye. The day
comes, no doubt, when her allegiance
and sympathy are transferred to au.
other in right of a still higher claim.
There is little wonder if poor pater fa-
milias looks askance on him at first
and is slow to admit that he is the one
at whose coming his reign must end.
1t is the way of nature, and it must be
80. But it is hard. A father often
loses more on his daughters marriage
than her mother does. "My daugh-
ters my daughter all her life But a
fathers right changes entirely when
the ring is pat on the finger. Till the
fairy prince comes; then, let pater ta-
mailias be considered and deferred to,
and, if necessary, humored. Let him
not be made to feel that bare duty is
to be paid to him. Let him not feel
himself a stranger in his own house
For many little sacrifice, many a gen.
tie or patient word, unnoticed, unac-
knowledged at the time, and soon for
gotten by her who renders it, lives in
the memory of him who receives it
Wdcerly.