The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-09-05
MY FOX-HUN'l.

Ii VA IL " ~ LIE
lam constantly accused of beinga flirt
Upjustly, Of courae. Certainly l have has
offers, and have refused them. Naturally
l liked certain men better at first thar
after had time to know them really
well. No man has tho sense to understand
his weak points and 10 hide them. They
all persist III misunderstanding you, and then
when YOU refuse to chain yourself up to
them and their fciiies they call you "a
coduette," "a hsartless tlirt," and all that.
Under the circumstances insist l should
be almost as silly as they'll l married
them.
Now take the case of that young Eng
lishman 1 was eaid to have treated so
badly and judge ii l was to blame.
/ met him at our tennis tournament. l
had Just won the last set, aud was receiv
| ing the usual highly sincere coDgratula-
tons, when saw Mrs. Fanshawe bearing
down On me with young EaglishmRn,
the lRtest addition b our club.
Ny hea1t sauk as ha came. lie was 80
Evidently a case Of mot beautiful, but
good (?j" He was hiieous, but l reflect
ed that perhaps he was like the noble
beast, or fish in his coat OF arms, in which
ease it was distinguished uglinets, aud !
bore up. "NTiss Tremaine," said Mrs.
Fanshawe, "alIow me to present to your
favorable nctica Mr.. Fox, who has come
to study the manners, or the lack OF 'em,
ard customs in our America"
"Now, really" guspgd Mr.. Fox, az she
| 1. g., D,.4I,snt, EInhntu I'm hu ~
on iue. By Joye! | assure you, Miss Ire
maine, l find much to admire on this
side"
"This side of the lawn"
~ meant this side OF the ocean," he re-
turned, pityingly. "But especially this
lawn" liz added, with fascinating roll
Of his light google eyes; "I've been anx'
ious to meet you Tor long while, Miss
Irenlaino. You play tennis 20 awfully
wep-ior-er-Rn American"
"Then," rstoned, lyon think Ameri:
cans cannot compare with the English ~
"We!l, no. Except in tho matter Of fe-
minnie beauty" he returned, driving out
his heel and ducking his head, which
tpleasing performance l afterwards found
signitisd mental struggle with compli-
ment.
/ at once promised myself the pleasure
Of taking several extensive raises out Of
the youth. lie was so beautifully literal
80 "Enelish," ysu know.
"But our 'humor, come now" / said,
with my best air Of innocent good faith
Surely you admit We are the only nation
that has distinct and characteristic wit.
swell, dun'no. Suppose" he suggest
ed obviously, suppose you were to give
nue. aspecimen."
Certainly" l responded cheerfully
"rll take the first thing that comes in my
head. Got it out OF Western paper"
"Tom Sawyer was warned OF the danger
of smoking in powder-mill, hut persist
ed. They collected one ear and button
The funeral was u "bang.up affair"
"There!" said l triumphantly, "Isn't
thst the quintessence of humor?
"Yes, devilish good" he gssped.
There was pause. | was falling back
for another effort. He was cycling me
furhyely and, knew, comparing me Will
Daisy Miller" or some international hor
ror by james.
care you any relation to Fox's Book o.
Martyis?" innoCently questioned.
swell, not exactly TO the book" he
replied, with ratronizing smile; "bu
we claim descent from the author"
cor gushed, "l'm so glad I've me-
you for, you know, l always thought hi!
last name was Martyrs. Like Praise'God
Barrel Bones Alden, Observation-Disclosures
Wellington, Don't Give up the ShiE
Lawrence, and all the rest OF those ole
Puritans."
Ny English friends face YVES study,
His appealing nose asked OF his retreatinf
leyes; .Is this the hight American girl
have heard off," 1t was rich. l do love
to "take rise" out OF such idiots.
Papa says he does not see the sense o
such Jokes. Isimply tella lot Of enormoui
lies to convince credulous foreigners aul
Il perfect fool-whereas could DO it more
easily by Just being natural. II paps
wasn't 80 dyspeptic lie would underatanc
thatit was deliCio1s to see how much they
would swallow.
However, 1 had no time to follow NJ
nv success that afternoon. MRmma can't
hustliug up, al smiles, to tell Mr.. Fox she
knew his cousin, Lord Emtehed. How
charmed che would DO to have him cal
very soon, and lot OF gush. Mamma il
more than bit OF an Anglomaniac. As
AIN not left them, partly, also, confess
because / saw my cousin Tom glarinl
awiully. Tomand are engaged-seCretly
because he il so poor thst wo have to wal
long time before we eau even tell pap
Meantime we both firt. That is &C
much better than telling and bein.
shelyed. Still, have to be careful. Ton
ia so Jealous, so afraid, poor boy, that II
get tired III waiting and takea better parti
For fully week / saw nothing Of Mr.
Fox. l think he was digessng some Of M!
facts.
gssiu!ilate chat. Then they call with {
IcrnshinV repartee-in note book!
Finally he dropped in one Sunday even
: inc Several men were there and we wert
having charades. We are apt to have I
jolly timo Sundays. Mamma is an Episco
palian and papa is broker-so, you see
We don't have to be narrow-minded. :.
OF course, being Englieh, Mr.. Fox mis-
understood. He evidently thought W
were Comanchcs and adapted himself
Nature helped him; he would make
Zulu. He sang in a hideous falsetto, h
nat everybody out, and then, gayly slap
ming Tom on tho back, informed him tina
Americans nersr could sing choruses! Ton
was wild, Ihad to squeeze his hand IN
der music book 10 paciiy him.
In desperation We started more char
AIDES. There, again, the great Fox cam
to the front, assuming, unAsked, tho rol
OF general director and nuisance. Every
where ct once, he shouted US deaf, dumb
and mad. He gave samples OF what b
couldn't do, in all sorts OF parts, and final
ly ended by putting such realism into tha
OF the bull in "Sandtord 4 Merton" thu
he charged through msmma's glass screen
emerging covered with peacock feather
blood, and glory, to be led away by pap
for repairs.
was awiully angry. / knew perfect