Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-20
BRIGHT BITS.

"oH for ledge in some vast wilderness"
sings the poet; but why should he owe for
lodge in some Y. W, when he can stand his
land'ady of in town. Cincinnati Merchant
IrGgeier.
A VAssAR GRADUATE cultivates 5000 acres
or land IN Texas, an her New \ ork class
mates are just wild 70 know whether IT is
spruce gum or pancakes she Is raising down
there.-LOlheX CitiseB.
WHAT the Minneapolis Tribune wants to
know Is why the largest and drearlest dOcu
ments known to man are called briefs. May
be IL is because they make so quick work of
clients purse.-Nel0 York Sun.
The hoop-snake, which takes its tail in its
mouth and so trundts over the ground, is, to
say the least. regardless Of dress and its APP
preparedness. HE walking suit consists of a
aliow-tail.-Pitts5btg Bul1etia.
A NEWSPAPER PRovERB saws: "a hungry
man doesn't throW bread out of the window
because it isn't pie" Neither does any other
man who is acquainted with pie. On the con-
trhry he is mere likely to throw pie out of the
window because it is not bread.-BOston Post.
Wells AND TAILS: The writer of recent
article entitled sumner in the Soudau."
punished In BidcklCO0d'S MdGGsin6, presents
a curious picture IN his description Of dust
storm in the desert: ''Men and animas hud
died together with wells over their heads.
awaiting with patience,with their tails turned
{ wards 3 storm. the .uhsidence Of the wind. :"
-Nel0 Orleans Pieayune.
CHIEF OF POLICE 90 detective)-That man
who jus went out wants job on the force
He says he has had several years experience
In Western cities. Follow him and observe
detective latter a short absence) 1.-THE fell
low is fraud He has never had any police
experience"
Chief-"How do you know?"
Detective-"I Just saw him pay Garibald
around the corner &c. for pint of peanuts. 2"
-Neto York Sun.
A PARTY of gentlemen were discussing the
merits Of walters OF different nauonalitles.
I'm this blarsted kentry," remarked ar
Engishman. '-the hotel walters are doosid
unfit y'know. It's haniv in the hold kentrp
that one can find waters that are handy and
10 ones fawncy, dye hear"
~ on are quite right about that" said an
other member of che party. "A hotel propEie-
or onc9 told me that Euglishmen make the
bestbotel servants 10 the world, not even ex-
cepting niggers. "-Ne1o York Times.
WHAT do you cali your last picture?"
sunset"
"But where is the sun?''
''Set. of course"
"Certainly, but there is no warm light in
the sky"
No: it is dull, cloudy evening"
But there is absolutely nothing to show
that il is evening any more than morning"
How stupid of YOU! Don't on see those
chickens near that tree2 Well, the rooster is
not Growing, Is he? That shows it is not morn
lng.-CbTiSttGfl at Work.
DON'T you remember mef"
Cant say that ever saw you before"
Don't you remember little Sammy BAN
bry. who used to steal your peaches am bre *
your windows, twenty years ago. right here
in Austin?"
"Wny. certainly, I remember YOU now very
wei. how you used to steal my peaches; and
don't you rene mber how / caught YOU just rs
YOU we're getting over the fence one day, and
how tanned your little hide for your"
~ on bet you dld. All, those happy days
will never come again. ''-7erds Sifttngs.
THE ArkdRSalo grGceler is authority for q
caustic letter TO the President from the late
Postmaster at May Bloom. Ark. from which
we take these seuteuces: ~ don't kere nothin'
for the money that's in this once. A dollar
an half a wear amt no more 10 me than 75r
Is 10 you, bur I don'twant 10 be fooled with
shortly alrter You tuck your seat a man
wanted 10 bet ne that you wouldn't be in Of
fee morn year till YOU would make some
big mistake. bet him COW. Airter | got
your notice tellin' me to git ont. l drv In,
row over TO the reller's house, an told him he
had won her. Ton not only cut q mans pride,
but you break him up in business. l believe
Y "a taSe pleasure in maxim a felier feel bad
an don't believe you're much NV a Demo-
crat nohow."