The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-02-07
OLD RODNEY AND THE BULL


 OLD RODNEY AND THE BULL. IOpie P. Read, in New York Mercury.l
 "When CT pusson thinks dat vent use desc heah human mauls in ds 'fense O my rights, wy all he's got ter do is ter light inter me, dat's aIl." exclaimed old Rodney, a colored gentleman whose African lineage was strikingly set forth by kidney feet. enormous lips so thick that they protruded in perpetual pout, and hair that looked like the dead moss on a rock. He had just climbed the fence, or rather he had just fallen over, and was standing in the doorway of the planter with whom he was engaged in "crappin' it." For moment the planter surveyed the old fellows torn garments, and then, with as much of smile as could be reasonably indulged during disastrous overflow, asked:
 What's the matter, RodneyT Look at me, sab, an den say yesse'f whut's de matter. Look at desc heah clcze dat got rum de gubermint durin' de high water. Look at dis hat wy whar dat hat gone ter2" surveying his empty hand. Boss, d'aint no use in perlaverin'. kaint stan no sich CT racket like dis"
 "What's the matter, asked you ??
 "In cose dat's whut yer axed me, an in cose dat's whut rse tellin' yer. Oars one thing mighty sho, boss. Dat daim bull has got ter leab desc heab premises UT kaint stay heah, dat's all."
 " Been having trouble with the bull, Rodneyp
 Habin' trouble wid him? Does yer call it habin' trouble wid CT thing when yer's knocked down an tramped on like CT piece O carpet2 Huh2'
 Well, yes, should regard that as troublesome" rejoined the planter.
 "Yas, ] reckin yer would, sab. Dat daim bull tramped on me like warnt voter in dis heah community. I'se been spectin' trouble wid him fur some time, fur de udder day he shuck his head at me, but didn't think dat de s'lGmnities O de ercasion wuz gwine ter come ter CT head so soon. Dis mornin' put on my bes' cloze an thought dat I'd go ober ter de Lawson place an jine in wid de mon- strous big Iigious meetin' what da's got ober dar. Slicked myself up wid CT eye ter singin' an shoutin' wid dem widder wimmen whut ibes in town but now look at me. started ter cross de lot, an had got CT short distance when l heard suthin' behin' me. Lookin' roun', seed dat blame bull shakin' dat onery head O his'n. Look out,' s'l, Cease yer doan want no truck wid me. ain't got no time fur yer, an femme tell yer right heah, fool erlong wid me an de fust thing yer know yeru wanter be tuck ter de 'sylum somewhat Den he shuck his head agin an gunter rake up de yeath wid his forefeet. Keep on,' s'l, an yer'n be complainin' rcun' heah da. yey heard suthin' drap.' Barr say zs, an he made at me. hil out my 'breller, but it vanished in CT mint an dinged ef 1 knows whar it did go ter. made CT break fur de fence, but he obertuck me fore got dar, an de Lawd, whut CT pol use he did put me ter. Hooked his hons un'er my vest-see heah ?-an' walked all ober me. Boss, dat's mon ken stan an be in CT pleasan' humor. l ken put up wid CT good 'eal an still smile an bow an scrape an say Mighty fine weader how's all de folks?' but when CT daim bull like dat tramps all ober me, sah, an horns me an 'sults me, gifts fghtin' mad, l does, am doan yer forgitit."
 Rodney, am sorry"
 "So is l, sah."
 "Very sorry to hear of your misfortune, but what can you do about it9 You can only keep out of the bulls way"
 "Keep outen his way!" he exclaimed in disgust, "keep outen his way when he hab made me look like dist no, sah, 1 won't keep outen his way. I'll git me CT chunk CT fire ter-night an chase him roun' dat lot tell he think de debil come sho' huff. Cloze gone an 'hgion gone, fur cussed de daim scoundrel when got on dis side do fence, yas, an I'd CT cussed him sooner ef I'd CT had time. Il neber done nothin' ter him ter make him carry on dat way"
 "Don't you know the reason he at tackled your
 "No, sah, doan, but I'll make him know de reason dat tack him."
 It was because you wore red scarf"
 "Whut business wuz dat O hiz .n. Hab it come ter dis awful pint dat eben CT bull mus tate ter CT nigger whut he mus wars Dat's CT fine come of. Doan wanter sec me war red sca'f, eh ? Wall, blame his ugly pictar, dat do make me mad. wuz almos' willin' ter 'scuzs his udder 'sult, but I'll be dinged ef he mus tell me whut ter war. Elf yer gifts up in de mawnin' an fms dat bull feelin' mighty poly, yer needn' hunt leng fur de reason. Itu be me. Good day, sah,n and, as he turned from the door he nut tered: @Wants me ter dress ter de no- ton O CT scrub bull B1ebe dat white man is CT standin' in wid him somehow
 --S-oA
 Matrimonial