South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-03-06


There's no brighter. holier mama
w 1T A Nd NOR.
Now that 1 lave shown you how to
do that sum. I'll prove it to you, TO
show you that it 10 correct said the
professor. who was teaching lazy
young man arithmetic. No need OF
proof, professor; will talke your word
for it l know you wouldn't tell me a
lie was tue reply.
The fish ] bought from you "yester-
day we're not good said gentleman to
negro dealer. What wuz de matter
wild emf 'They were half spoiled
But sab, you must recollect dat gin
yer double weight: darefore, dc good
half wuz yer moneys wuth.'
A man once advertised that for SIS he
would give any author title fer his
book that would enable him to dispose
OF his first edition in week. He re-
ceived several five dollar bills, and none
OF the authors ever denied that he had
fulfilled his promise. Tue title was
Free 10 All.
1t was at the close Of the wedding
breakfast. One of the guests ar, 81, and
with glass in hand, said: Il drink to
the health Of the groom. May he zee
many days like this The intention
was good, but the bride looked as if
something had displeased her.
The little girl at school read thus
The widow lived on a limbacy left her
10y relative What did yop call that
wordp asked the teacher. The word
10 legacy, not lmbacy,' But said The
little girl, my sister says / must say
limb. not leg
We'll, / declare ! exclaimed an editor
as he inspected The baby of an old news.
paper friend. If he isn't a marked
copy OF the old gentleman
'Sambo, whar you git dat watch YOU
wareh to meetm' las Sunday?' How
you know had watch?' .Kase | seed
&c chain hang out lie pocket in from
Go way, nigger 'Spose you see q
halter round my neck, you think thar
10 horse inside Oh me?'
Now then, Patrick said the mer-
chant 10 his new office boy, suppose
you 60 for the mail 'Yis, sor; an
what kind of male wud ye he wantin',
sor.--lndisn male or oat male?'
j am surprised, John said an old
lady when she found the butler helping
himself to some Of the Gnest old port
so am /, ma'am. l thought you had
gone out was tue reply.
is the earth round or hst2' asked q
member of q school committee of an an.
plicant for the position OF teacher.
We'll, I'm not particular about that
replied the candidate. Some likes il
round and some likes il fat. teach it.
both ways
Sergeant BalIsntyne on one occasion
had lady client named Tickle. Mr..
Ballantyne said TO The judge: Tickle,
my client, my lord he was
interrupted by the judge saying Tickle
her yourself, my learned brother.'
Bnllsn,yne, who was great wit, looked
glum for whole day.
Pray, nay lord, asked a gentleman Of
a Judge, what is the difference between
common law and equity Very little
in the end responded bis lornship: 'at
common law you are done for al once .
in equity you are not 30 easily DISPOSED
OF. The former is a bullet which il in d.
simultaneously and oh armingly q Elective
the latter an anglers hook, which PLAYS
with the victim before it kills him
Common law is prussic acid equity il
lsudanum.'-Chambers' journal.
Once in four years 5000 900 peoplc
set TO writing letters, said President
elect Cleveland, the other day, and this
time ] am getting them