Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-09
BRIGHT BITS.

WEST SIDE woNAN is such delicate and
ethereal creature that she took violent cold
a Gay or TWO since from losing hairpin. She
Will take care that it dos not hairpin again
Chjc0go Telegram.
JoHNNIE's BIG SISTER does not part her HAIR
IN the middle, because Of a cow-lick, and
Johnny asked at a party the other evening:
w haI makes Your halr squint so awfuly,
Marlef"-Chtcago telegram.
"DEsIRABLEw Saxon passenger ION High
land cOachl-"Of course you're well acquiant-
I'd with the country round about here Do
you know Glen Accronn" Drive9-"Ave,
weel." Saxon passenger who had just bought
thr estate)-"W at sort of a place is it."
Driver--"Weel. If We saw the deil tethered
ONT, ye'd just say, 'Puir brute' - Punch.
SHE wanted to break her husband of the
habit OF drink, and began TO cook his food in
liquor, having heard at it would prove eff
Iectual. lie didn't say anything the first dav;
be showed no signs OF noticing the change the
second day but after supper on the third day,
nc said to her: "Marla. you don't know how
you have improved in your cooking IN the
last three days."-Tid BIS.
"YEs, since got to be an alderman l have
read great deal of literature. You know we
aldermen have to be scholars to maintain the
dignity Of our position ="
Il suppose you have read 'Plutarch's
'Oh. yes, of course. hut guess it's only one
o. them fables. / don't believe he had any
more lives than the rest Of us."-SUn.
Two YOUNG MEN of Confluence, Pa. recent
" made wager as TO which of them could
suck the most eggs. One of them disposed of
10 and the other Al. Ant yet Boston stu his
he enrontery to CLAIM to be the home of
culture" An American Westminster Alb
hey cannot be establish tho soon for the ac-
commodation Of such superior talent as ex-
hunted by the Confluence young men.-NOr-
riSt01CR Herald.
SAW AMAN yesterday who has made SO 900
this fall in wheat Saw another man about
10 feet behind him who told me how he made
ut. His wife inherited $4,000 in cash. She
wanted to double or ose it Husband was
perfectly willing. She gave it to MIN 10 in
vest in wheat, amt she lost it. Instead of IN
vestlng ollar h. placed the whole in bank.
ana has the certificate OF deposit IN his wallet
to-day. Speculative wives are now firm and
in good demand.-Detr0HF Free FreSs.
A WEALTHY DALLAS LADY, just coming
from church, was aCe0sted by a ragged ur-
ccin, who begged her for dime. "And what
one?' asked the lady. please, ma'am, I'd
buy bread" replied the lad. Poor child"
piousy observed the lady, you know not
that man liveth not by bread alone. 1 have
no dime with me, but if you will come to my
houe III give you couple OF tracts written
expressly for little bo,s on the aWfulness of
gluttOny."-lepas SUtiags.
81 WANT TO GO HOME" said a bright-eved
+-year-old to bis teacher at the kindergarten
school on Randolph street. Nara, the other
day. 1t was not vet 10 O'Clock, and the
teacher was prompted to ask: "What for?"
My lunch is ready" SAID the youngster so.
| guess not, at this time Of day" remarked
the teacher You don't know when we have
lunch at our house-my lunch is always
ready" came the telling Response, when all
arguments were declared closed. He had
won his case and was shortly thereafter at
lacking pies'n things IN Mama's pantry
NGDa, tCdiJ Register.
LEFT IN ERROR
He was only district messenger boy,
But messenger boys are male and human,
And therefore qualified to enjoy
look at young and lovely woman.
The boy / sent with note to-day,
Came back intoxicated, crazy,
And ventured 10 very frankly say:
THAT gal, your mash, she's ashes u
daisy"
The boy was wrong; she was not my mash,
It's only once bv chance that I met her;
The note ne carried was not a rash
Loves creed, but simply business letter.
Blu he looked at me with glowing face,
Which spoke OF envy AM admiration,
And didn't think it was just my place
To enter into an explanation.
--Hdrtford Times.