The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-07-09
MATRIMONY.
MARRIAGE IN AMERICA HAS HFoHER
BASIS THAN IN EUROPE.
Ohr Young Folks the Freest and Happiest
of the Worlds YOuth--WedIock in
Germany - English working
People-Sord1d Matches.
Robert Laird Collier.l


However much is believed and pub
lished damaging to our reputation for So
cial decency and high morality, l have
most fixed and unchanging conviction that
we are the cleanest, sweetest, and hottest
people socially on the face of the earth.
It would be no more than the truth to say
that this social purity is one OF the results
of our social customs. Our young people
are the freest and happiest of the worlds
youth. Our boys and girls are thrown to-
gether more in school, in society, and in
public places than the youth Of any other
country, and the matter Of sex is less con-
sidered in their anluSements and reCrea-
tons Growing out of the free life of our
young people is the immensely important
fact that marriage in America, especially
among the middle classes. has holier
basis AID motive than is certainly the case
in any country of Europe.
very generally and with but little regard
to the advantages and outcome of we'd
lock, but simply because it is tie custom
and because it is convenient and desirable
to have their own homes. The French
are thrifty people, and thrift is an ele-
ment entering into all they do. They sell
dom leap into matrimony. Indeed, among
all classes-even to some extent among the
peasantry-marriage is matter of ar
part making the matches
Society in England is one of castles and
classes. What applies to one caste or
class does not apply to the other castles or
classes. For instance, the lower and
artisan classes are the most improvident
of all working people of which | know
anything. When in England no aspect of
its social life is so present to me as
the unthriftiness of the working people.
NhnTr CrJxra Cp
though it were only matter of days
lark. They have children born to them
without the least regard to number or
provision for them. They stick religiously
to the creed that God makes the children,
and that he will not send mouth with
out food to fill it The poorest
couples seem to take pride in multiplying
their offspring and in replenishing the
earth. The average family of working
children. l speak from observation and
not as giving statistics These children
are usually as we'll taken care of as the
means of the parents will justify. They
begin to work in their tender years and
become bread winners and are out in the
world on their own account, while yet the
children of all American working people
are in school The great body of this
class of English children are very indie,
Citations and rush into matrimonial en-
gagements and alliances with but little
concern as to the future or the fitness of
things.
The middle classes of England do not
quite go to the opposite extreme, but con-
siderations enter into the matter of mar
rage that VIC in this country would, at
least affect to, deem most unworthy and
mischievous. Whatever else we may
consider in forming matrimonial relations
we always put forth but one supreme mo-
tive. ', hold it to be the only true and
enduring law of marriage that no other
element should largely enter into the mo-
tive on either side If we think otherwise
than this we never give articulation to
our thought.
But this does not hold true in England.
Love may be taken for granted. Perhaps
it usually is. But it is not q matter that
is discussed either between the contracting
parties themselves or their frinds Much
is said, and openly said, about the families
and the relations, the capacities of the
man for getting on in the world, and the
anniable and housewifely qualities of the
woman. 1t may be matter of love, and
l should say that it is universally held
that it ought to be matter of love, but,
all the same, marriage with the middle
and upper classes of England is also a
Courtships in England are short and en-
gagements are long. No sooner is it I'M.
derstood that young man and a young
woman are in love than it is given out that
they are engaged. The American custom
of leaving young men and women free to
associate together and to keep company
with each other for an indefinite length of
time without declaring their intentions, is
almost unknown in any country of Europe
It is not long after young man begins to.
show the daughter attentions before the
father gives intimation that he wishes to
know what it means, and either the youth
declares his intentions or is notified
to "cut sticks Whatever the advan-
tages of the English view OF this matter
may have it has, at least, one most OBJ
Vious disadvantage, and that 1t leads to
engagements upon too short an .cquaint-
ance, and 1t makes of the engagement the
counting time rather than as a mere prepa-
ration for marriage When once engaged
the young people are thrown toget her in
the freest fashion, and may be left to
themselves at all times and in all Jlaces
almost as though they were man and wife
In the general society of America mar
riage is deemed the vitality important event
in this life, but in English society the en-.
gagement is looked upon as the most i'm
portant and really is sort of first stage
in matrimony, or the personal uniting Of
the lives only awaiting the legal cere-
mony.