Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1885-06-27
WIT. LUM0E, AND SINH
CIANr.

/ ne Pc PIE WA "OA0H'P " ''44' - - ~ &"
so'don olo.
Creditors ard poor relations never call a'
he right moment
The winds ere responsible for many al
lnlucly blow.
There is hut one way TO deal with ser
pant. that is TO kill it,
Centility is said to I've eating meat with &
silver fork when the butcher Is not pad.
How is it that the trees can put on a new
dress without opening their tluHhsr Be
sause they loare out their summer clothing.
Mrs. Brown says her husband is such
oiunderer, that he can't even try on new
7oot without putting his foot in 1t.
A poet says: "Oh. she was fair. but
.orrow left his traces there" What became
IF the balance of the harness, he don't
state.
A man is The healthiest and the happiest
when he thinks the least of health and
happiness.
Tt is sod commentary upon the course
of instruction pursued in young ladies'
schools, that the graduates seldom know
now to decline an offer of marriage.
When you see a man on a moonlight
night trying to convince his shadow that it
is improper to follow gentleman. you may
be sure that it is high time for him to join
temperance society.
Woman has many advantages over man;
aene of them is that his viii has no opera
ton till he is dead, whereas hers generally
takes effect in her lifetime.
A robust countryman, meeting a physi-
clan, ran to hide himself behind q wall.
Being asked the cause, he replied: " 1t is
so long since i have been sick. that l am
ashamed to look physician in the face"
An old lady, whose son was about to
proceed to the Black Sea, among her part
ing admonitions gave him strict injunctioIs
not to battle in that sea, for she did not
want him to come home "nigger"
r That was a triumphal appeal of the lover
of antiquity, who, in arguing the superiority
of an old architecture over the new, said:
- Where will you find any modern building
that has lasted so long as the ancient?"
bad egg may always be known by the
manner in which it lies in the water, il
placed in it. If good, it invariably lies
upon its side. Some bad eggs that we
know are also proved by the way they lie.
.Tbe man whose hardy spirit doth engage
To lash the vices of guilty age,
Al his first setting forward ought to know
4 That every rogue he meets viii be his foe"
+ Mr.. Justice Page was renowned for his
fs..ocity upon the bench. While going on
ctrellt, facetious lawyer named Crowle
was asked if 1.-THE judge was not just be-
hind" 81 don't know" said Crowle,
= bnt if he is, I am sure he was never Just
before"
IN Irishman was accused of stealing Q
aua&erchief from fellow traveller, but
e e owner, on finding it, apologized to Pat,
! 4 d sud it was mistake. "Arrah, my
vel, retorted Pat, " 1t was a two sided
.-t.ke-you took me for thaif, and
too4 you for gentleman"
\ medical student joined, without invi-
: on, party dining at an inn. After
ner, he boasted so much Of his abilities.
hat one OF the party said, You have told
as enough of what yen can do; tell u.
something you cannot 60 = . Faith" said
ne, :" cannot pay my share of the reckon.
ing" &6 as ssE
A lover received the following note
accompanied by beautiful bouquet
" Deer, / send bi the boy bucket OF
Hours. They is like my love for u. The
ute shaid menes kepe dark The dog
fenil menes l am ure Slave. Rosis red
and possis pail /; mi luv for shall never
fale."
5 "Don't you think, !" said a brother law
yer to Judge Underwood, s'that Jim
Pierson is the greatest liar of a lawyer
that You ever saw ?" 81 should be sorry
to say that of Brother Person." replied
the Judge; p" but he is certainly more
economical Of the truth than any other
lawyer on the circuit"
M. Talleyrand was enjoying his rubber.
when the conversation turned on a recent
marriage of an elderly lady of respectable
rank. How ever could Madame de s.
make such 8 match a person of her
birth to sfnasry a valet-de- chambre -,
s'Ah, replied Talleyrand, eft was late in
the game at nine we don't reckon honors."
Why, Bridget" said her mistress, who
wished to rally Bridget for the amusement
Of her company, upon the fantastic orna-
menting of . huge pie t'Why, Bridget,
Gid you do this, you're quite an artist !:
how did you do it?" ..Indade, it was
myself that did it, replied Bridget, "is'nt
1t pr1tty, mumr did 1T with your false
teeth, num-" sf@ffFf
"Going to leave, Mary p" >" Yes, mum,
find am very discontinued" eff there
10 anything can do to make you comfort.
able, let me know" "No, mum, it's
impossible. You can't alter your fgger to
my fgger, no morn ! can. Your dresses
won't fit me, and l can't appear on Sun.
lays AZ I used at my last place, where
missus's clothes fitted ,xactly."a @Rs
! sssStranger, where mous hit you be from ?"
" Madam, reside in Shelby county, Ken
lucky" "Wall, stranger, hope no offence.
but what mought you be dom way ur
nere?" Madam, / am searching for the
lost sheep of the house OF Israeli" "John,
John u shouted the old lady, = come right |
,ere this mint; here's asstrarger all the
way from Shelby county, Kencucly. a
1untip' stock. and I'll jest bet my life that
that tangled haired old black ram that's |