The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1885-10-06
,Sepse and eMapsp,lge.
Lean your business thoroughly.

'SJ W AA nSssSS oos uStcE IN
hurry,
Whatever is worth doing at ell Il
worth dong well.
If the fire bell rings false alarm, can
lt be called a ibelp
One who takes lots cf interest in his
busin,ss-the pawnbrokers ~
Never fail toke.p your appointments,
nor to be punctual 10 the minute.
Be salfreliant; do not take to TOO
much advice, but rather depend on your,
self.
"Our friend has very mobile face,
you know" mo. be hasn't; be was
born iu New Orleans"
SOME RtMABKAB.E Cures of deafness
are recorded to DR.. raomas' Electric
Oil. Never fills to cure earache.
It is no use talking abou, "the pearly
gates sjar' TO a boy who Is wrestling
with green cucumber and mans sise
collie.
The glad season { f the year Is almost
here, when lovely woman preserves pref
~ much ever, thing excepting her tqua-
nimity.
"Tbe only way to tell good cigar IL
to smoke it," The proper gay to tell
bad cigar is to get friend 10 smoke il
for you.
"Wnat Is this man charged with 2"
asked Judge Murray. with whiskey.
your honor" replied the sen,ehtious po-
liceman.s
"How old are you, my little man ?"
asked gentleman I q tot of four.
I'm not old" was the indignant reply,
"l'm almost new" 80 =
A Chicago man has been sent 10 the
lunalic ss) lum because Of his sllusion
about mince pies Perhaps be found out
how they are built.
Humboldt saws that the kinds OF
monkeys mes: nearly resembling man
are melancholy. They seem to reaIiz,
how near they are to US.
Neither bustles nor corsels are worn
In Japan, and when japanese maiden
sits down in skating rink she gets her
moneys worth every time.
A "feast Of lanterns hes become 4
feature at many entertainments. S i'll q
man with healthy appe,i 9 would get
up from such feast mighty hungry.
"Yes," said old Mrs Badger, II have
met Col. Ingersoll, aud thought be was
very pleasant gentleman; but I have
heard that be is a regular amethyst"
A Nevada court held that man who
has FIVE dollars in his pocket and bis
board paid for week ahead is q .cari-
taIist." within the meaning Of the law.
Greek is the language for poetry,
French for love, and Italian for hand
organ melody; but the man With shirt
collar that do sn't fl is the same help
less being in ALL
Why need you never starve on board
shipp Because you get cold chops IRON
the north, little puffs from the south,
chickens from the halches, and, as for
eggs. the captain can lay to any day.
Landlady-"I wish to say that there
will be dessert to day for every body.
Those who have pail their board bill
will get pudding for dessert Those wLv
baVa not will please desert the table,
People have become so skeptical In
these DAYS, that If forty leading clergy
men should swear they sswa sea serpent
in cerlsin lake, pot oLe rtrson in Q
hundred would more than hs believe II.
An English variety paper says that
there is complaint among young lsdi
that skirts hamLtr their movements 10
playing. tennis, and that next season they
will probably be dropped. Good graz
cious!
Now, theu," said busy LAWYER 10
one of number of waiting client. "yoa
are next. sir" .I'm what ?" Next"
I"N,, you DON'T" said the client, moving
toward the door, II didn't come 70 here
10 get shaved"
"Arthur, ! fear, ah + fear-you have
ceased to love mel" "Wbv. Enms,
what makes you think so 2" "we,l, you
see, Arthur, 1t used to take you so long
TO button nv gloves, and now-you do
it SO quickly!'
81 should think you would need
military guard to keep the young men
away" said citizen 10 the father OF six
marriageahle daughters. "Oh, I'm .
pretty good foot soldier myself" was
The cheerful reply.
l A Hibernian gentleman was expltin-
ing to lady how she would avoid GET
ting into too close proximity to Taurus,
thusly: "lf ye see Geld with two cows
lying down in il. the one standing up Is
sure to be the bull"
There have been various answers 10
the conundrum: Why is ship called
she? We think the proper answer is:
Because she is hsndsomest when she il
well-lieeed. Wives should cut this out
and show 1t to their husbands.
Mrs. Jones--"They tell me that Smith
fellow is paying his addresses 10 the
Widow Robinson" Mrs. Brown III
don't believe word Of it, Miss Jones.
Paying his addresses, indeed Tue fell
low never paid anything in his lifs."
A Young gentleman of eight years, on
the Back Bay, who had already five
btothers. was told one day last well
that he had sister. As the news seemed
to affect him rather badly he was finally
prevailed upon to tell what the trouble
wac. Sobbing, he told bis mother he
wanted all brothers, as he was in hopes
! of having baseball nine.
Joshua commanded the sun to stand
still in order thai be might have more
time in which to complete the defeat OF
the enemies OF Israel. In the battle With
disease we, too, must take advantage OF
every means given to aid US in our COM
bat. Mishler's Herb Bitters is q potent
agent against dyspepsia, sgue, sick head-
ache and kidney and liver complaints.
A widow who recently lost her mother,
attended a spiritual seance and dts,red
to communicate with the Split OF her
husband. "Have you met dear mamma
in heaven yet, George Henryf" Prompt
iY the answer came back: ''Yes, have,
and I'm going down TO sheol to spend
the summer" Here The widow said the