The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1885-11-12
WIT AND HUMOR.

Inc DeSC cnSllSn society no l0ngof
uses tho Pail Mall Gazette for bustles. --7
Louisville Courier-Jour7aai. .t.. ".5a nla
1t is rs easy to tell lilo as it is to
tell tho truth, but it is not half so
lonesome. -Bost0n Post
A Burlington man asked q doctor
| what in his opinion caused tho most
sickness tho year round. The doctor
replied without hesitation, ''Tho Pro-
hibitory law. ."-Buriington FREQ Press.
An alleged Improvement on the
once fashionable cuckoo clock Is ono.
in which an owl appears instead of tho
cuckoo when the clock strikes, and
"toots" quito naturally. His daylight
appearance, however, is not quite ma
ftural.-NcW York Evening Post. . ,
The fellow who sent MIR. Cleveland
4 four-leavcd clover, one leaf Of which
was stuck on tho stom with mucilage,
viii have no influence with tho Admin
istlation hereafter. The lattor may be \
taken in once, but it will not BIO twice
by the samo person. .-BoSton Post. .. a
This is tho season of the year when
Lucy and John como in ruofully from
the back piazza and try to explain to
an unsympathiHing audience how it
was that Lucy's fragile 100 pounds has
broken down the hammock that her
pas solid 1876 pounds swung safely in
all tho SOmcrrille Jour
mal.
lie was from Louisville. They met
ut Brighton Beach. Sho-You-aw
have seen Henry Ward Beecher, aw
snpposcP Hc-O yes, often. She
En- and what do you think of his do.
livery? Hc-His dcliveryP o yes.
| Whv 1 Innit ;,,l-
llcckcr or Morris, He has no curve,
you know.-Ptsdurg Chronicle 1ele-
graph.
An old darky was preaching some
time since and he saw ono of his con-
groS|uon asleep, so he began: "You
remember when Paul was preaching in
the Temple damscl was asleep in tho
fourth story, and she fell down. smash
ing all tho smashcrs, and tho fraa-
| meats they picked up twelve basket
ful, and whose wife will sho be in do
resurrection"
Agram, Austria, has comic papor
called the .>courgc, but it isn't as fun
ny rs it formerly was. Tho editor has
| Just gone to the pcnitcntiary for two
years, with two fasting days thrown
in, and the publisher got ten months.
n humorous article on tho Hungarian
Parliament, in which tho authorities
failed to perceive tho fun, was tho
cause of the trouble.
Ills pants alarm me So" tho maid
en- said Qcfcrring to her poodle,
which an unruIy cow n chase had led)
rs she walked with Fitznoodlc. "Are
thcy too tightP' tho untaught Fitz ro-
piled, his Indignation rising. Clio
thought the maidcn's mind ho occu-
pied, and her soliloquizing). Sharp
ly she turned, and in her pretty head
her eyes glowcd liko u mouser's:
I'm we'd no man SO ignorant,"' sho
said, che uses pants for 'trousorsr "
One of tho. pillars of our State, a
member Of the Assembly, with no ed
ucation to speak of, but plenty of con-
1idcnco and fondness for tho sound of
his own voice, grew excited during tho
last session over what he called the
"prcssure undor Il bill"
"Thcro's something mysterious in
that BILL" said he. at struck mo
suddenly, as if litt!o bird brought
tho news, I can SEQ it in the air;
can feel it in my bones. At any mo-
mcnt there may bo an explosion be-
meath our feet. and then wo will see
how blind We are. ."-Harper's Bazar-
Il am honest in what 1 say, I'm
honcst!" ho shouted, jumping up and
down and cracking his heels together.
81 want to lick somebody or get lick
cd! Pm spilin' for q fight! want
| gore-gallons of tan am willing
to shed barrels! Gimme exercise or
| gimme dcathn'
The crowd closed in and pounded
him, and walked on him, and jumped
| In f-l1 4. 4 4
him cold.
Two Lours later his only remaining
eye opened slightly and he whispered
with n sigh of content:
boys, | was honest. This is para
disc!-Drake' Magazine.
American journalism responds nobly
to tho strain imposed by the silly sea-
son. A mammoth cave, chuokful of
writhing rattlesnnkes, has been dis
covered in Alabama this week; tho
Jackson (Ga.) Bews has noted tho
stoppago of n grist-mill, owing to all
tho snakes in tho pond having erawled
out simultaneously to sur $hemsolves,
thereby lowering tho water-head SOW
cral feet; the New York HerdlG has
enriched tho Smithsonian Institution
with snake that has head like o
| pug-dog, Jumps like frog, and whis-
ties, and the New York Times has
| printed its annual comic article on tho
train-boy. y.-PhtIadelphia Record.
No, Claribel, wo cannot tell you tho
best way to mako clam-fritters. We
| have mover eaton q clam-fritter. We
have often tried to; but wo are COM
| pelled to confess with shame and hui
initiation that wo havo always failed.
we have eaten homemade boarding
house bread, and wo live to tell It.
And wo have even got away with q
rubber doll-baby by mistake for o
crullcr. But we hayo never vet suo-
ceedcd in eating q clam-fritfer. We
have managed the fritter part, Clari.
bel, but the clam part has always re.
mained to point the finger Of scorn at
u.s. and wo are willing that it should
do so till tho ond Of time rather than
tackle it again, ClaribeL Puck.
Smuggling from Canada into the
United States is not only very brisk,