The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-01-14
The Office Cat.
ALI About the New Ysrk SUMS Hllussrious
HHOuser.

On. Y. Sum-
The universal interest which this accom-
plished animal has excited throughout the
country la striking REPUTATION of the no
ton that genius is not honored in its own
day and generation. Perhaps no other liv-
ing critic has attained the popularity and the
vogue how enjoyed by our cat. For years
he worked in silence, unknown, perhaps,
beyond the limits of the Office. He is a sort
OF Rosicrucian cat, and his motto has been
ito know all and keep himself unknown"
But he could not escape the glory bis efforts
deserved, and a few mornings ago he woke
up, like Byron, to fiji d himself famous.
We are glad to announce that he hasn't
been pulled up by the enthusiastic praise
which comes to him from all sources. he is
the same industrious, conscientious, sharp
eyed and sharp-toothed censor of copy that
he has always been, nor should we have
known that he is conscious of TIE a1mira-
ton be excites among his esteemed contem
poraries of the press had we not observed
him in the act of delaceraiing copy of the
Graphic containing an alleged portrait If
him. 1t was impossible not to sympathize
with his evident indignation. The Graphic's
portrait did torl injustice to his majestic
aud intellectual features. Besides, it repre-.
sented him as having bandage over one
eye, as II he had been involved in controver-
sy and had had bis eye mashed Now. aside
from the fact that he needs both eyes to dis.
charge his literary duties properly, he is
able to whip his weight in office cats, and
his line large eyes have never been shrouded
in black, and we don't believe they ever will
be. He is soldier as well as a scholar.
We have received many requests to give a
detailed account of the personal habits and
pecUliarilies OF this feline Aristarchus. In
deed, we have been requested to prepare a
full biographical sketch to appear in the
next edition of Homes of American Au-
thors." At some future day we may salts
fy public curiosity with the details of his
literary methods. But genius such as his
defies analysis, and the privacy of the celeb
rity ought not to be rudely Invaded.
1t lis not out of place, however, TO indicate a
few traits which illustrate his extraordinary
faculty of literary decomposition, SO 10
speak. His favolile food is tariff discus
sion. When a big speech, full of wind and
statistics, comes within his reach, he
pounces upon it Immediately, aud digests
The figures at his leisure, During the dis
cussion over the Morrison bill he used 10
feed steadily on tariff speeches for eight
hours day, and yet his appetite remained
unimpaired.
When a piece of stale news or a long
winded, prosy article comes into the Office.
his remarkable sense of smell instantly de-
tects it, and it is impossible to keep it from
him. He always assists with great interest
at the opening of the office mail, and he
tiles several hundred letters a day in his in
terror department. The favorite diversion
OF the Office boys is to make him jump for
twelve-column articles on the restoration Of
the American merchant marine.
lie takes keen delight ia hunting for es-
says on civil service reform, and will play
with them, If he has time, for hours. They
are SO pretty that he hates to kill them. but
duty is duty. Clumsy and awkward Eng
lish he springs at with Undesirable quick
ness and ferocity; but he won't eat it. He
simply tears it up. He can't stand every
thing.
We don't pretend that he is perfect. We
admit that he has an uncomfortable appe-
tite for the Congressional Record, We have
to keep this peculiar publication ont of his
reach. He will sit for hours and watch with
burning eyes the iron safe in which we are
obliged to shut up the Record for safe
keeping. Once in while we let him have
anumber or two. He becomes uneasy with
ont it.. It is his catnip. With the excep-
ton of this pardonable excess he is a blame
less beast He mouses out all the stupid
stuff and nonsense that finds its way into
the office, and goes for it, tooth and claw.
He Is the biggest copy-holder in the world.
And he never gets tired. His health is good,
and we have not deemed it necessary to take
out policy on any one of his valuable lives.
Many of our esteemed contemporaries are
furnishing their offices with cats, but thew
can never hope to have the equal of tn
Suns venerable polyphlge. He is cat of
genius.