Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1885-05-06
SHORT.

Labor Note.-A chronic vagrant was up
before the San Antonio recorder few days
ago. 'tCan't you find works'' asked the off
cial. 81 don't want to find any work. I am
member of the Laboring Mems club y
Texas Siftings.
Darkey-''Bed's too short, sahs Why, last
night gemm'n taller'n you slept in dar
member it cause he didn't pay his bill -
Yourist-"Of course. Found himself short
in the morning. A natural consequence -
Columbia Spectator.
A doubtful compliment: Mrs. Smith,
tear Pm failing fast" Mrs. Jones-'sNon-
I am of your age" Mrs. Smith (sotto voce)
-"When she is of my age! The hateful old
thingl"-Boston Transcript.
Scene in ST. Louis: Youth-'sThen you re-
fuse to give me your daughters handf'
.Mamma-''1 do most decidedly. I put my
foot down on the entire affair" CThe young
man gives one look at her foot and turns
sadly away. Chicago Rambler.
An exchange says that by stretching a
string near the ceiling of a room flies will use
it to light upon instead of the walls, that can
thus be kept all the summer free from fy
specks. We have noticed this frequently in
the case of strings of dried apples -Burling-
ton Free Press.
"Adulterations in Limburger cheese have
been discovered" +" The flavor of that deli
cacy has long led US to suspect that some
thing was the matter with the Bismarckian
food. We thought maybe it was not pulled
until it was over-ripe, but if it is adulter-
ated that explains it.-Norristown Herald.
ooh! Mr.. S." said a young lady at a
church fair, II want your help for moment
have just sold tidy for SIS that cost Is
cents, and 1 want you to tell me what per-
centage that is" "a transaction of that
kind, my dear Miss b." said Mr. S., who is
a lawyer, "gets out of percentage and into
larceny"
A well dressed and pretty young woman,
who went about in New York saying that
she wanted to get married, was promptly
clapped into an insane asylum When a
woman wants a husband and does not con-
tinually declare she would not touch hor-
lid man with ten-foot pole, it is sure sign
of insanity. -Philadelphia Call.
A Houston journalist recently approached
one of the solid men of that city, and said to
him, confdentially, 81 wish you would lend
me $2" Here ,srs they are, Mac" replied the
one of them back, 7" handing back a dollar.
Remember, now, that you owe me dollar
want to enjoy the feeling of having a re-
spectacle person owe me something. That
is sensation have never experienced in my
life. Texas Siftings.
Diplomatic husband: 'My dear, they tell
me that this year it will be fashionable for
ladies to wear their last seasons bonnets' -
Still more diplomatic wife, "How delight
full You've always complained of my being
too fashionable, and now, for once, I can
please you perfectly by being out of style.''
'By being out of stylear in a puzzled tone
Yes, dear, I'll go downtown this very
afternoon and order the loveliest new thing
in Easter bonnets. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
,,,,., J,,, ,,,., ,,,,
wonder what papa will think!
He'll meet you tonight with frown on his brow
For staying SO long at the rink.
No lamp has been lighted tonight in the hall,
'Tis dark and the baby's awake,
And-thsre II was sure dearest ma you would fall
Some night your poor neck YOU will break.
Come home come home,
Oh, mamma, dear mamma, come home.