davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Filter.

Vow, VOW, if you don't comprehend,
That cats are not allowed upon that wall
On you my hair brush will descend.
LIE that wont do I'll next let fall
My bootjack; yes, stree.
This yard, the stillest on the earth,
This little yard, with garments like q sea,
Poor pussy, what would all these clothes be worth
If / should throw the ink-bottle at thees
Vow, VOW. / tell you there is nothing here to eat.
If you have any pity for my case
You'll run away a hundred thousand feet,
Or I'll come down and kick you from the place
And through the gate, the gate.
Boston Globe.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
Cancer and the Tobacco Trade.

Pittsburg Chronicie-Telegraph.
sDo you know that General Grants case has
caused a great scare among certain smokers and
injured our business like the mischiefl7 asked a
tobacconist of the reporter to-day. "Well, it
has, and old fellows who have been thoroughly
impregnated with nicotine for years now daily
examine their tongues with great anxiety to see
if they can discover any indications of cancer.
A little fever blister or cold sore sets them wild
with dread. Quite a number of my customers,
who formerly bought from eight to twelve or
more cigars per day. have cut down their supply
to two or three, while some have quit smoking
entirely, and are undergoing a perfect martyr
dom in consequence. Some few chewers of
tobacco have the scare also, but it mainly affects
smokers
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Way to Do 1t.

Nowadays it is quite the proper caper,
Proper caper,
If you chance to be a literary swell,
And have jotted down a few stray thoughts on paper,
Upon paper,
Which the same it has occurred to you to SELL
To decline to give your name unto the matter,
To the matter.
And send the book out written by 'Anon;"
All the critics will at once begin to chatter,
Gin to chatter,
And to wonder as to who's the gifted one.
This method very much the sale enhances.
Sale enhances,
And fame besides you re really apt to win;
For, should you be an ass, as often chances,
Often chances,
Y our ears are hid beneath the lions skin.
Brooklyn Union.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
New York Girls Winning Ways.
A. Ds&AeI-rr Dnck

IBIttT III TICIeUHIE TUot.
The desire to win a dollar OF two is as strong
in the belle whose allowance of pin money is a
gain of a triae is of consequence. A tough old
club man, notably a ssickler for exaetitude in
his play, was brought the other night into direct
antagonism with a bewitehingly beautiful
maiden. He held three kings; she had cards
which, according to Hoyle, couldn't have won
the pot or anywhere near it, and yet he pushed
the chips over to her after a moments hesitation.
What under the heaven did you do that for?"
a friend who saw both hands afterwards asked.
Her two pairs beat my three of a kind he
replied.
s.But she didn't have two pairs
"Oh, yes she did-a pair of aces in her hand
and a pair OF eyes in her head-blue ones with
tears in them. They'd beat q royal flush if |
held it,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
into the Soap Barrel.
Pauiding. Ca, Era.

Pauiding. Ga, Era.
Uncle William Cole. living near Dallas. re-
Gently dug him a cyclone pit, which his good
wife utilized for putting her soap barrelin. His
neighbors tell it on him that the other day a
whirlwind passed through his place and raised a
considerable dust, which caused him to gather
his family together and run with them to the
pit. Arriving there he jumped headformest into
it. His little son. who was following, halted
and turned to his mother and excitedly ex-
claimed:
ankles!"
She replied, "Oh, well, sonny, if he's in no
deeper than that he can get out"
The little fellow replied: YES, but his heads
turned the wrong way!'
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
A Prescription for Miss Ringold's Eyes.
Piftshnrp Timas

A Prescription for Miss Ringold's Eyes.
Pittsbarg Times.
General Hunts father was one of the homeliest
men in Washington. He was a physician. After
he had ~practiced his profession for a time he
married a Miss Ringold, one of the handsomest
young ladies in all of Maryland. This story of
the marriage has been told me by an old Wash
ingtonian: zone time | was visiting General
Jacksons family when he was the occupant of the
White House. During my stay | was taken seri-
ously i'll. and the General called upon DR.. Hunt
to attend me. When he came into my room,
where | was confined to my bed, President Jack
son came with him. The two thought | was
asleep, and not wishing to disturb me they sat
before the fire and began a conversation. l heard
the General say: Hunt, how did you ever hap
pen to marry Miss RingoldN
"'Ill tell you said the physician. When she
was attending boarding school her eyes were in
jured and she was blinded l vas called to pre-
scribe for her. For some time / kept her eyes
bandaged. and she finally recovered her sight,
but she did not see me. About a year afterward
we CHANGED to be together at a reception. She
knew that | had previously attended her, and
that evening she came to me, complained of
suffering from n severe cold, and asked me to
prescribe. I took from my pocket a blank pre-
scription and wrote: "Dr. Hunt; to DO taken
Immediately"
She read it, and looked up, laughing.
"'''Its a bitter pill, Doctor" she said, 'and
must be we'll gilded if | take it."
Sou engagement followed, and soon after
our marriage occurred. | didn't have much gold
to gild the medicine. but managed to make
enough to keep her from starving"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Average Cost of Living.

= HEKHaEIpHEA DuIfFEIu.
How many persons have even a rough idea OF
the average sum upon which by far tine larger
part Of the citizens of the United States are fed,
clothed and housedi A recent statistician esti-
mates that eighty per cent. of the population of
this country ID supported by from forty-fve to
fifty cents per capita a day. AT the latter figure
ahis makes Sl64. Is as the annual average cost of
living: but, as by average we mean the balance
between extremes, there must be many persons
who have not even this sum to live upon. That
fifty cents a day is a generous estimate will be
admitted when il Is remembered that many
min operatives earn only from 81 to 81 q week.
aud that the wages Of farm hands run from $40
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
Not a Boy.

Heathen Woman's Friend.
Some one l~ecturing about the Algerians re-
cently, in Paris, told the following suggestive in
cident;
"Some of the ladies. seeing our admiration
of the Moorish children, surprised US by the
visit of a splendidly-dressed and lovely
little girl of seven or eight The child
is lovely as a rose,' / said to her
father. Does she read and writer No. said
he, my daughter-why, she is . GIRL And be-
cause she is a girl thou teachest her n~othingg
Nothing, for q woman is only happy when she
knows nothing
"'But she cannot read the Koran, which
speaks of Allah, who made her so beautiful so
much the better; my daughter has nothing to do
with the mysteries Of the Koran.
"tBut / believe, with the great prophet Christ,
that she has a soul, even as you and T. .Ah,'
cried he desperately. my daughter is not a
boyvn
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Latest Importation.

New York World.
One of the latest importations, paraded espe-
cially by Washington women, is the English
sy, for the English generally exhibit very little
Of that-but what the dictionary defines as "a
slight depression of the body, with a bending of
both knees, p seen in its general result only in
the bali room or parlor, but fully revealed in all
its sinuous intricacies to the baid-heade6 patrons
Of the ballet. This latest importation is known
rs the Princess of Wales courtesy" and so
especially commends itself to the American
Princesses Smith and Jones.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
Evansville & Terre Haule Railroad.
Via Yandalia Line

Leave Indianapolis f7:l5 am, 11.55 am y, 1O:45 pms
Leave Terre Haute f10:40 ann, 500 pm p, ANS
Ar. at Evansville 400 pm, 7:05 pm p, 7:25 ans
Leave Evansville 1905 am. 1890 amp, 8:15 pms
AR. at Terre Haute 1000 am, PIT pm i. 1889 pms
Ar. at indianapolis 1880 pm 4:40 pm p. 800 ANS
tDaily except Sunday. All other trains daily. X
parlor car; =, sleeper.
Vial. 81 St Il. Ry.l
Leave indianapolis .......-~.-f7:10 am, 1925 pms
Ar. at Evansville. t4:oU pm, 7so5 pm >. ITO am )
Leave Evansville t6;o5 am, l0;sO am B. Sis pms
Ar. at indianapolis 1915 pm. 6:25 pm i, S:45 ans
tDaily except Sunday. All other trains daily. I.
parlor car; i. sleeper.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Streets of a Western City.

Omaha Republican.
Monday evening. after the rain had subsidized,
but the water was still pouring down the cutters,
two young ladies attempted TO cross Hamilton
street near Saunders. The water seemed too
deep and wide at the gutter crossing. They
went up some fifty feet on a ridge to get across;
one made the leap and landed on the sidewalk in
safety. The other failed to leap across safely,
and landed in the strong current, foated down
to the crossing and caught on the letter box post.
1t took the strength of three persons to pull her
Out, the volume of water being so strong. For
tunately she was not injured.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Small Boy.

No more with cold the small boys nose
At early morning tingles;
And. as the weather warmer grows,
His hair his mother shingles.
Soon to the placid pool he ii HE,
whose banks wild flowers bespangle,
And as the sunny hours glide by
For hornpouts he win angle.
Perhaps he'll of the water feel,
And where he thinks it warmest.
Upon the bank he'll quickly peel
And plunge right ia head foremost;
Ger bathing suits he makes no fuss.
Their texture or their trimming;
In puris naturalibus--
That's how he goes in swimming.
-Rnafnn Courier.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

to $50 a month, aud that on these sums several
persons are often supported. When it is re-
membered, too. that some other human beings
have a yearly income equal to what is necessary
for the subsistence OF 500 or ], 600 of these aver
age" mortals, the startling contrast between the
extremes of our modern society must be most
evident
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
David Davis's Advice to a Young Lawyer.

washington Letter.
A young lawyer friend of mine from Chicago,
about to be admitted to the Supreme Court,
asked ex-Justice David Davis for his advice in
regard to his conduct on the occasion of his first
case. The Judge replied: 'sYou need not be
afraid to speak before the Supreme Court, and
il one of those buffers in a toga interrupts you
in the midst of an argument by some irrelevant
question, don't get frightened and spoil your ar
gument by stopping to answer him. just say
quietly, Excuse me, your honor, but I will
reach that by and by" and if you don't reach it,
it won't matter. You need not be afraid that
you will be called up to answer it after You have
taken your seat The young man took his ad-
vice, and gained his case last week.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
journalistic Item.
JOl
Texas Siftings.

n IIbIHEb
A young man of ability but not of much means
was talking about starting a new parer in Hous-
ton. and was telling a friend about it.
You can borrow $50 and start a new paper"
said the friend, encouragingly.
You darned fool!" replied the would be
journalist, 'if I could borrow $50 what would |
want to start a paper fors I want to start a pa
per so / can borrow the $50.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
Not that Bad.

New York Graphic.
"You are arrested" remarked the judge to the
tramp, for stealing an accordion. Are you
guiltys"
Eyes, your honor, I admit the charge"
did you steal it to play on it!'
81 did not" replied the prisoner, in a hurt
tone of voice. Il hope your honor does not take
me for a musician"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
Bring on Your Objections!

Can't do it. No intelligent person who has
tried Browns Iron Bitters has any objections to
present against this prince of tonics. Mr.. Clau-
son, the well-known druggist, of First and Chip
pewa street, New Orleans, says: II find my
sales increasing daily. Have not heard as yet a
single objection. Browns Iron Bitters is a
valuable acquisition to druggists" The weak,
the dyspeptic, the rheumatic and the sufferers
from languid livers, find in this medicine all they
need.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

Lake, nephew of the original Joe Smith. It Is
really becoming SO warm for the polygamists
that the time is evidently near at hand when a
Mormon will be afraid to recognize a second wife
on the street. leaving aside the question of pay.
ing her bills.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

As we 90 to press we learn Of a very singular
and unusual occurrence. Mr.. John Conway has
been afflicted during the winter with rheuma-
tism. and on Wednesday night, while laboring
in a fit of cramping, the bones in one arm and
both legs were actually broken and crushed by
the contraction of the muscles.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

SAILS well that ends well.e Mr.. Hugh Flem-
ing. of Holyoke. Mass, thought he was never
going to get well. Chronic indigestion was what
was the matter with him. He had tried SO many
remedies without avail that he began. to lose
hope. Then some one told him that Mishler's
Herb Bitters was guaranteed TO cure just such
cases as his. and he concluded to make another
trial. He did 80, and now he Is glad Of it. For
it ended well in his case, and hs il now Q healthy
man.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

Legislation in every State should regulate the
sale and use of the many poisons resorted to by
women in their desperation to obtain beautiful
compilations. There exists in DIR. Harters Iron
Tonic everg requisite TO accomplish the object
without injuring health or e~ndangeriug life.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Boston Faith Cure.
Boston Record.

CLUTu
The suppression is beginning to prevail that, to
secure the full benefit of the Christian scientist
treatment, the patient must have not only faith
in advance that he is to be cured, but subse-
quently faith that he is cured.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
HUMOR Oh THE DAT.

"In the cleaning. @ my darling,
Still the air il cold md wet;
Listen to me. O my darling
Do not change your iannels yet"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Unhappy Mormon.

San Franci 500 Post.
Another catch of three polyeamists was gath
cred in on Wednesday, including Bishop Stew
art Of MalA, Idaho. and s. M. Smith, Of Salt
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
Cincinnati, Wabash 3 Michigan Railway.
the Bee-line.l

Depart-Indianapolis and Grand Rapids tx. 400 an
Michigan Express ---...-..---.-. lib am
Louisville and Wabash Express 5:55 pm
and indianapolis Express. 1O45 am
Cincinnati Il Louisville Express 2:ZO pm
Indianapolis and st. Louis Express LID pm
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
LouisviIle, New Albany & Chicago.

Chicago Short Line.b
Depart-Chieago and Michigan City Mail. I'D pm
Frankfort Accommodation .---.-.- 300 pm
Chicago Night Ex., daily. s.--.-.ll:20 pm
Arriye-InIianapolis Night Ex., daily, s-.-. $50 am
Indianapolis Accommodation 1880 lo:OO am
indianapolis Mail .---------- 5:lo pm
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

Chicago. st. Louis & Pittsbtrg.
Depart-New York, Philadelphia, Wash
ington, Baltimore and Pittsburg
Express, daily, s-..-..--.-...- clio am
Dayton and Columbus Express,
except Sunday lilo am
Richmond Accommodation .-..... O nm
New York, Philadelphia, Washing
ton, Baltimore aud Pittsburg Ex-
press, daily, s., h....-.-.---.. 4:35 pm
Limited Express --...----..- $40 pm
A-rrive-Richmond Accommodation, except
SUNDAY A am
New York, Philadelphia, Washing
ton, Baltimore and Pittsburg Elk
press, 11:45 am
Columbus and Dayton Express, ex-
cept Sunday -t--------.---.-.. ass pm
New York, Philadelphia, Washing
ton, Baltimore and Pittsburg Elk
press. daily ..-..-.--..-..-...10IO pm
Limited 500 am
CHICAGO DIVISION VIA KoKOMO, p, G.. q ST. Il. II. q.
Depart-Louisville and Chicago Express,
I. am
Louisville and Chicago Fast Elk
press, daily, pn
A~rriye-Chicago and Louisville Past Elk
press, daily, ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 400 am
Chicago and Louisville Express,
900 pm
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

Indiana, bloomington & Western.
PEORIA DIVISION.
D~epart-facife Express and MaiL.-...-,... 7.25 am
Kansas and Texas Fast Line, =. O. 500 pm
Burlington and Rock Island Ex-
press daily, r. G. and s---.---..-l1:1O pn
A~rrive-EasterE and Southern Express,
daily, r. 9. and s.......-.. $50 am
Cincinnati Special, r. c..-.........I1aO5 am
Atlantic Express and Mail. .-.---- $50 pm
EASTERN DIVISION.
Depart-Eastern Express Mail, daily, s., re. 4:2O am
Day Express am
Atlantic Express, daily, 8. and 9. 6. ITO pm
Arrive Pacific Express. daily, S. and c. Q. 6:55 ana
Western Express. 4:45 pm
Burlington and Rock Island Ex-
press, daily, 5. and r. ........-.10 pm
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
Some Sanitary Suggestions.

vEEDERsBuEs, April 27, 1885.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1885-11-05
1t is the New Way /!

The correct way-the only way of con-
Quoting business that makes the house of
HUNT Sc CO.,
Ever popular to the people-Your child
will receive the same polite attention that
will be accorded you They keep in stock
the goods that are wanted and sell cheaply.
The largest stock of Crockery and Glass
ware in town and you will be surprised at
the low prices. Cups and saucers, plates,
dishes, bowls, &c A splendid lamp for one
dollar and quarter, aud lamps from that
down to the cheapest A good lantern for
sixty cents Have you bought one of their
beautiful hand-painted lamp chimneys ? if
not buy one
They have house full of Groceries and
are selling at bottom prices. They are ex-
elusive agents for the sale of Chase and
Sanborn's Champion Java Coffee in Mariet-
ia. They have also the best combined cot.
fee in town-the Manila" is a choice Rio
Coffee, Roasted and in one pound packages,
each package contains a comical picture for
the children to cut out. Their Teas are
carefully selected, and their No. A, Oolong
and Mixed and Green Teas can be had from
no one else. They sell Whann & Co. s
bread and have built.up fine trade espec-
tally on their fine cream bread Their Hy-
genie Graham Bread is prepared in the most
careful manner, the hiram is most carefully
taken out so as to leave all the healthful
and none of the irritating so COM
mon to ordinary Graham bread. Fine
French Candies and choice Crackers. COT
fee, Sugar, Bacon Lard. Hams and Shout
ders. Flour, Meal, Corn, Oats and Bran.
Call and be convinced.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1885-11-05
COUNCIL PROCEEDINGS.

MARIETTA, Nov. End 1885.
Regular meeting City Council. Present
His Honor, W. NJ. Sessions, and full board
of Aldermen, except Aid Gober and Glover
Minutes Of last meeting read and APPROX
ed.
Report of officers read and approved A
petition from +. L. Freyer was read and
debated in reference to council assisting him
in building a rock wall on street in front of
his residence. The matter was referred to
NJ. G. Whitlock, with power to act On mo-
ton of w. r. Power, the matter of paying
W. L. Granting for keeping in order the
fire engine for the year 1885 was taken up
and ordered by council that he be paid
twenty-five dollars for the same. 1t was or
dered by the council that the extra or double
tax that was ordered by council to be levied
on all persons who had failed to give in
their tax to city clerk, be RENTED, when in
the judgment of the clerk il was through ig-
norance that the parties did not give in their
property. - ss }u
1t is ordered by council that the city tax
books shall be closed from and after the
first day of December next and after that
date executions be issued against all default
ers.
The following accounts passed up: S.
Gorham, Sexton, $40 90; B. w. York, Street
boss and lamp lighter $50. 90; w. P. Steph-
ems fixing well, $500.
Sexton reports cemetery in good condi-
ton and no interments in four weeks.
W. P. Stephens, marshal, reports two ar
rests and a collection of IS in one case and
cost in the other. Also collected on new
business, $40 100, from John L. Manning and
$1,000 from Henry Sorrells & Co. Hold
Treasurer receipt for the same
On motion Of Alderman Murray, council
adjourned to first Monday night in Decem-
Der next, clock, p, IN.
W. NJ SESSIONS, Mayor.
r. BABER, Clerk.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1885-11-05

"A progressive tea party added to the
pleasures of six couples on last Tuesday
evening at Mr.. Taylor Georges residence.
They were DIR. John Greer and Miss Addie
Seize; Mr.. Taylor George and Miss Matte
S,ubinger; Mr.. Bud Warren and Miss Mol
lie Setze; Mr. W. s. Cheney and Miss Genie
Wilson; Mr.. Walter Reynolds and Miss
Lizzie Winters; and Mr.. R. N. Holland and
Miss Florrie George. 1t was an occasion of
much social enjoyment, and will be remem-
bered pleasantly by oil present
The Girls Church Improvement Society
of the Methodist Church proposes having a
dime club at the residence of Judge Sessions
on pext Friday evening Rotations, Nus
ic, &c, may be expected We hope the So
ciety will be encouraged by large attend
ance.
Probably no years ince the war has there
been made a crop of sweet potatoes equal in
abundance to the crop male in this section
this year. These potatoes in size and quail
ty are very fine and we trust our farmers
will be seccessful in saving them.
Sessions, Handy 4 Co, have Just receiy-
ed large lot of Turning plows, and now is
the time to turn land
The farmers are paying their debts
promptly.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1885-11-05
DON'T ATTEMPT 1T.

Bill Nye says Don't attempt to
cheat the editor out of years sub
scription to his paper, or any other
sum. Cheat the minister, cheat the
doctor, cheat anybody and everybody,
but if you have any regard for the flu
ture consequences, don't fool with
the editor. You may be up for Off
ce sometime, or want some public
favor for yourself or some of your
friends, and when your luck is thing
of beauty and a JOY forever" the edi-
tor will open up on you and knock
your air castles into a cooked hat at
the first fire. He'll subdue you, and
then you'll cUss your stupidity for a
driveling idiot, go and hire some man
to knock you down and then kick you
tor falling.