Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-06
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE best posted traveller is a letter.-Bur-
Iin0tOn Free Press.
ELSIE Seeing for the first time calf, "Oh,
mamma, these must be the little cows that
give condensed milk"
Mrs. YEAST would like to know if a whisky
straight IS any relation to a spirit-level; and,
II not, why notg-- Workers Statesman.
''DoEs alcohol warm us?" asks a New York
editor. If 1t Doesn't JUSTICE home bowling
full of it and your wife will.-NOrristotcn
Herald.
THERE'S an odd wrinkle about the lower
corner of wars grim mouth that threatens to
broaden INTO a peaceful Phjladelphid
Times.
A LITTLE COLD CREAM is good for chapped
lips. That's the reason the girls are always
leading the footsteps of their beaux to the
confectionery saloon. Boston BudGet.
BELMONT, n. H, boasts of a woman who
goes out and chops wood with her husband.
1t Is quite common thing for a woman to
mop the floor with their husbands, but we
never heard of choppng wood with them
San francisco InglesiIe.
MIRACLES in Turkey is the caption under
which a foreign correspondent writes GRIM
sonbeak says the gre test miracle in Turkey
that ever came under his observation was
when his boarding house mistress made niue
pound bird last twelve boarders seven days.
YO7akerS Statesman.
WHEN he heard that England declined to fight,
Aud that Russia longed for peace,
Great giobules Of moisture bedimmed his sight,
And his woe showed no surcease.
"Say, why are you wailIng with such deep
grief?"
A peace loving stranger cried.
"Oh. am dealer IN canned cOrned beef!o
The Wisher OF war replied.
-E6ao York Journal.
''Do you take this woman whose hand you're
squeezin' to be your lawful wife in flush times
and sklmp?"
u reckon that is about the size of it,
Squire"
''Do you take this man you've ined fists
with to he your pard through thick and thingn
"WeI, you're about right, for once, old
man."
"All right, then. Kiss in court, an reckon
you're married about as tight as the law can
jine you. / guess four bits Will do. Bill if /
don't have to kiss the bride. II l do its six
bits extra. "-Chjcago Leader.
THE SULTAN TO MINISTER Cox
on, "Sunset," I've got in the deuce of box,
But for goodness sake don't say / told you !;
I'm 20 furried don't know my gloves from
my socks,
But for goodness sake don't say told you.
Here's the Car alking sweet in my north
eastern ear.
And Gladstone exciting my love and ny fear.
While Bismarck invites me to go and drink
But for goodness sake don't say told you.
Oh, ''sunset," do hasten your steps to STAN
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
And counsel me how to act the - fool,
But for goodness sake don't say told you /;
You can hurl a loose joke at Herr Bismarck's
fat ribs,
And lest with his Russian Imperial Nibbs,
While to Gladstone tell a few more useful
fbs,
But for goodness sake don't say told you
Pm about in the fix of the donkey who died
But for goodness sake don't say told YOU /;
Because he could not 'twixt the haystacks
decide,
But for goodness sake don't say told you
l am frequently called the "unspeakable
Turk"
And my chances in Europe's adversities lurk /;
When they come l must get in my very best
work,
But for goodness sake don't say told you.
-C0IN5lblts Dispatch.