, 1885-04-03
JOHN B. COUGH
FINDS a REGULARITY ON BROADWAY
WHICH AsToNlsHEs HIM.
A Spree Condensed Into an Hour-An In
toxieated Dandy in the Lobby ola
Theatre-sPider Toboggan-
r-unele nnr.~ New York Le'tsr.l

lQutlt liza Z new lhFA ErNtrirl
Time and labor are wonderfully econo-
mized in this rapid town John y. Cough
has discovered TIL, truth, and at tho sams
time learned something new In his time-wora
topic OF intempcrance. Il didn't think no
said 10 me-. @thnt thcrs was a phase OF owl
anywhere in the civilized world TINT
wasn't familiar with, for I've made
n lobby Of temperance reform
for thirty years and more. L have studied
inebriety in every quarter OF the civilizel
earth. md among some Of tho savages DO
side and yet | find here In your Now York
a popularity OF the curse which astonishes
me What | mean is that the facilities for
going on a spree. without the loss OF any
time worth mentioning, are sumptu-
ously provided. Broadway is lined with
~bhar-roOtns for this spseial purpose.
Tie business or professional man may start
from his downtown quarters at I or {
O'Clock and arrive at homo for dinner rs
drunk as a l~ord-having got so during hi;
walk up Broadway. ! counted between
Wall street and Thirty third street forty one
saloons with particularly inviting exteriors-
alb olutely gorgeous in the decorations, which
could be seen from the street, and, ] am in
formed, correspondingly handsome inside
and the majority OF them Gloss at 0 O'Clock
in the afternoon, as soon as the patronage OF
AAtA vi tAAIAt fay hOAh1 - WI AaAo 9
spree can DO condensed into an hour be
tween the business OF the day and the
recreation Of the evening. Isn't 1t hor'
riblef'
SO it il And yet one can't always be 20
date in the contemplation VI intemperance.
For instance, the intoxicated dandy whom ]
saw last evening in tho lobby Of a theatre
was too funny to be regarded seriously. He
was in full evening dress. Doubtless no be-
langed 10 that minority of our population
who estimate culture and social worth by
the standard Of II swaliow-tail coat, holding
that the man who goes out in the evening in
ona is a gentleman, and he who doesn't Is a
mere person. This fellow was in the limp
and ~dawdling stage OF inebriety, when his
ionsations .wars lar moro acute than his de-
nieanur indicated. He leaned back against
the railing, with an idiotic grin on his face,
and his eyes droopeI 50 TINT a friend thought
him asleep.
-sthop, he said, on being shaken, you'll
sphoil Z sport"
What sport, old chapf' was asked.
"r-t%-toLoy-ning.
"-Tobogganingf What's tho matter with
YOU Brace up. and don't make a spectacle
Of yourself
"Hushl Look here. Slice this fellow,
and he IN licatsd n spider that was slowly
clhhDlh up the lnpIei OF MS very loW-cut
vest; that's fellows t-t-tobog-nin2 on my
shirt front, and | s'spect hen break lii
blamel neck next Tins down Watch'm."
The insect had now gained the necktie Of
tie dude, and was stepping onto the glossy
surface OF tbs shirt. Ascore of SPECTATOR
eyed his exploit
NOW he'sh or" calculated tbs wearer OF
tho snowy bosom.
The spider tried TO crawl across the pol
ishci space, but It looked as though he
really meant to slide-which he did, in spite
Of hi be / efforts. AMI slipped dow with
all TIE celebrity n u t~DJoggan. But it was
hi fntil "trip, n pre- lietel, for he fell to the
n1lr dead. And the yells of laughter fright
tensltle aulienca almost into IA panic, on
tho opposition TIA. ihsrs was a fire.