davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23
Gen. Bragg's Dilemma.

The following amusing anecdote of
Braxton Bragg appears in Gen.
Grants article in the November Gen.
tury: 1t was known that Mr.. Davis
had visited Bragg on Missionary
Ridge, short time before my reach
ing Chattanooga. 1t was reported
and believed that he had come out to
reconcile serious difficulty between
Bragg and Longstreet, and, finding
this difficult to do, planned the cam
paign against Knoxville, to be con-
Quoted by the latter General. 1 had
known both Bragg and Longstreet
before the war, the latter very well.
We had been three years at West
Point together, and after my gradua-
tion for time in the same regiment.
Then we served together in the Mexi-
can war. knew Bragg in Mexico,
and met him occasionally subsequent
ly. l could well understand how
there might be an irreconciliable diff
ference between them. Bragg was a
remarkably intelligent and well-in-
formed man, professionally and other
wise. He was also thoroughly
upright. But he was possessed of an
irasciblc temper, and was naturally
disputatious. A man Of the highest
moral character and the most correct
habits, yet in the old army he was in
frequent trouble. As a subordinate
he was always on the lookout to catch
his commanding officer infringing up
on his prerogativcs; as post COM
mander he was equally vigilant to de-
tect the slightest infringement of the
most trivial order. | have heard in
the old army an anccdote told charac-
teristic of Bragg. On one occasion,
when stationed at post of several
companies, commanded by field-ofi-
Ger, he was himself commanding one
of the companies and at the same time
acting Post Quartermaster and Com
missary. He was First Lieutenant
at the time, but his Captain was de-
tached on other duty. As commander
of the company he made requisition,
upon the Quartermaster-himsef-
for something he wanted. AS Quar-
termaster he declined to fill the
acquisition, and indorsed on the back
of it his reasons for so doing. As
company commander he responded to
this, urging that his requisition called
for nothing but what he was entitled
to, and that it was the duty Of the
Quartermaster to fill it. The Quar-.
termaster still persisted that he was
right. In this condition of affairs
Bragg referred the whole matter to
the commanding officer. The latter,
when he saw the nature of the matter
referred, exclaimed; "My God ! Mr.
Bragg, you have quarreled with every
officer in the army, and now you are
laparreling vilh yourself" -.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23
The Lime-Kiln Club.

al can't see that Prof. Trespass
johnson am in the hall tonight"
said Brother Gardner as he looked
up and down. DE fack am, i didn't
'zactly 'spect he would be. Sartin
events hev occurred to render his alb.
sence a necessity. De Seckretary
will turn to his name on de roll an
scratch it off, and write across it in
red ink de word expelled
When the Secretary had carried
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

A lesson in astronomy. Uncle
Nose (swinging water bucket around
his head "Lemme me 'splain hit
ter yer. Dis heah bucket am the
sun, and my head am dc yarf De
bucket, when hit goes round and
round, sheds light on de inhabitants
oh my head. Does yer understand p
Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

A woman in Georgia lived forty
eight days and then died. Water is
pretty thin diet, for fact, but we
know some sailors who have lived
nearly all their lives on water.-Cal-
ifornia Maverick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Read what the people
say concerning the
ability Of Dr.. Tkonas'
Eeiectis Oil 70 cure
asthma. eatarrh. Group,
colds. etc. Mn. Dora
Koch OF Buffalo, says,
:" For Group u u decide
ediy efieaeious." tMn. Jacob Msilsos Of Mssisa.
Ohio, says the same thins.l S. S. Graves, Atrs.s
N. Y, writes; hid asthma OF the wont HAD,
took one dose Of Thomn' Leleetrie Oil asd wa
relieved in a few minutes: wouit vAk Ave niles
S.' sis, c. R. Hail. Crsyr.. III. ssy' "cSred :. ~
eerated throat for me in twenty-four heun." Sat
up in bed and eoushed ,ill The slotAiag was vss
with pe,piration. Ny
wife insisted that use
Thomas Eeleetrie Oil.
The hnt te.speoniul
Perkins, Creek ces,re.
NY, Thomn' Eeiee-
the Oil u also Q Tip-
Tor external sppliea-
tion for rheumatism,
euts,seaid,, burns, bites.
bruises,ste. When vmi-
ting the duggist, ask
him what he Knows Of
DIR. Thomas Eeleetnc
Oil; n he has bees
ioss u The drr,E
speak highly Of IL.
Worked wonders.
my daughter was very bad od on account 81
cold and pain In her lungs. Dv. 71swss xsiss-
fyie OIL es~sS A~ IL svssfy,fssr 1ssvs. oss
Of the boys was cured Of sore throat. This ned
cine has worked wonders In our family, AivaA
Pinekney. Lake Mohepse. NY.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

You alway feel surprised when you
see shooting star, do you not? That
is because you did not know the sky
was loaded.-Pittsburgh Chronicle
Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Lawyer Gntent on little joke {:
"Can you tell me, Pat, when this
farm will sail ?" Pat: "Begorra.
Whin the man comes who can raise
the wind.-London Fun"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

What Greece says to Servia: IF
you do get sat upon it will just Servia
right" What Servia says to Greece !:
ave don't want any more Greece spots
on the map of Europe" What Bull
garia says to Roumania: "You must
be Roomaniacs to think of such a
thing What the Turks say to the
Bulgarians: Burglars ever will be
Slavs."-London Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Sunset Cox says he can't get any
good oysters in Constantinople.-
Don't kick, old man. Amt Turkey
good enough for you ?-California
Maverick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Husband: "Why, there's Mr..
Bjornstein Bjones three seats in front.
What pretty woman is with him. l
wonder if that is Mrs. Bjsnes?"
Wife: II don't know. l don't
believe it is. have noticed he has
been very attentive to her all the
evening."-Somerville Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Lady of the house: "Oh, my
gracious. You are going to sit down
in my pie dough-"
Guest: "Oh that don't make any
difference. never eat pies, anyhow" +"
Cincinnati Sam.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Teacher.-"If your father gives
you FIVE apples and your brother gives
you three, how many have you ?"
Johnnie-"I guess, enough for one
day."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Yes. Clarissa we presume when
you are taking your banjo lessons it
can be said that you are on pick-it
duty.-Yonkers Statesman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

"What Told My Wife" is the
title of a new book. 1t is almost
needless to say that it is felton,
Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

At the theatre. She: "Don't you
think something ought to be done
toward uplifting the stage'"
He: eyes; or perhaps something
towards the lowering of the bonnet
would serve the same purpose. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

A brother editor says a newspaper
is not noisy. yet it frequently creates
a bustle.-Germantown Independent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

A bucket shop shop should be man
aged by pale man.-Columbus Dis
patch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

The man who takes a hint is not
necessarily thief-Pittsburgh Chron-
icle Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

He who puts bad construction on
a good act reveals his own wicked
ness of heart.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23
WIT AND HUMOR.

A cat concert advertises no paper
on their waul.-Buffalo World.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Phillippolis presents peculiar pug
nacious appearance for a place of
p's.-New York Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23
Flint g. Pere Marquette R. R.

Drawing room cars morning and evening trains
between Bay City and Detroit, extra charges only
25 cents.
Night express east runs Sunday night instead OF
saturday All other trains daily except Sunday.
SANFORD KELLER, Supt
w. ID. HITCHCOCK,
Ticket Agent, Alpena, Mich.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

Dry goods merchant: "You would
like place in my store, Mr.. Shaw
NUT? Have you had much clerical
sxperience?"
Mr.. Shawmut "Well, no. The
fact is l am not church member. -
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

"How is it that you can tell such
whoppersf" asked a caller, address
ing the editor Of the fish story de-
partment.
"Well, you see." replied the editor,
"our wife's name is Anna"
"What has that to do with it? ?"
"a great deal. When we are
writing fish stories we usually have
Anna nigh us to help u.s."
The angler was carried to the hos
pital.-American Angler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

She has the last word. "Oh, DEAR"
exclaimed Mrs. F., after vainly en-
deavoring to pour hot water out Of
an empty ten kettle, chow did l forget
it, wonder. I'm getting to be a
perfect simpleton. / wish l did have
a little common sense" "But my
DEAR" interrupted Fogg, Suppose
you had. Do you think you'd knoY
what TO do with itY "Do with itF'
echoed Mrs. F. "many things ]
might want to be married again ou
know, and it might save me rom
making a fool Of myself a tond
time. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23
MICHIGANC CENTRAL
The Niagara Falls Ronte.

Arrival and departure Of trains noted below al
follows:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
Wheels Going Backward.

ssDid you ever see a railway train
running in one direction while the
wheels were going the other ?" in
quired a conductor on the Illinois
Central.
Never"
'Well, down on u Springfield di-
vision, between Gilman and Clinton,
we had that experience a few days ago.
The fall of soft, sticky'snow stuck
right on top of the rails, warmed a lit
tie in the noon sun, and in the after
noon hardened in the cold. We didn't
get q train through till near night that
day. The rails were two streaks of
glistening ice. Up at Pulaski we
struck a big grade right at a station
where we were trying to stop. The
engineer put on the brakes and finally
reversed the lever and pulled the
throttle wide open. But it Was no 90.
We went down the grade faster than
| ever travelled before, with the driv-
ing wheels of our locomotive going
backward. 1t was a three mile slide.
Those who saw us go down say it was
the oldest sight they v saw. Idon't
want any more railroad tobogganing
in NINE Chicago Herald.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
How Dynamite IS Obtained.

Mr.. Poland, in the course of his OBJ
servations at the Bow street police
court yesterday respecting the late
dynamite outrages, mentioned "Atlas
dynamite" a the material used: de-
scribing it as ''species of ligneous
dynamite of a very powerful charac-
ter, of American manufacture, made
at chemical works at Philadelphia"
This dynamite, according to one of the
New York papers, is manufactured
only by the Repanno Chemical COM
pany, whose factory is in New Jersey,
on the Delaware river, opposite Ches-
ter, Pa. Mr.. Hamlin, the New York
agent of the company, expressed his
opinion to a reporter the other day
that the dynamite used for ~effecting
some of the recent London explosions
was stolen from a southern port and
struggled into England. Dynamite,
he said, is used in making the Panama
canal, and it would not be difficult to
get it from Panama. Speaking on the
same subject, Nh. George Small, gen.
eral agent of the Atlantic Dynamite
company, stated that it was a very
easy matter for the Irish to get dyna-
mite. '.Nearly all the men employed
in blasting" he said, ''are Irish. One
of them might take a cartrige or two
away with him every day until he had
a hundred pounds, or a quantity that
if put together would make a package
about 16 inches long, 10 inches thick,
and Is inches wide. That would be
enough to shake the ~postofice if it
were put in the middle of the build
ing. L think he added. sit is impossi-
BILE to regulate the sale of dynamite.
Laws on the subject would have less
effect than prohibition laws have on
the sale and use OF whisky" Yet,
some mean are devised for
bringing the dynamite market under
some kind of control, the future of this
world, or all that is suffered to remain
IL it, is one that can not be contem-
without general anxiety
JameS's Gazette.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
MON ROI.

Oh my Kingl-because my loverl-
Dresr is all the world TO me,
Void of Sunshine, void of moonshine,
Since you sailed across the sea.
Though the springs are just as radiant,
And the summers just as rare,
Though the day dawn loves the morning
And filings diamonds in her hair:-
Though the sunsets are as purple,
And the twilight skies as gold,
Though are lovers own the cleaning,
And there's music down the void -
Though the violets hide their faces
Where the ripling lakelet flows,
And the lilies stoop to listen
To the love talk of the rose:-
Oh my Kingi-because my loverl-
All to me vii, ne'er be sweet,
Till | catch your white sails fiuttsr
Where the skies and waters meet:-
Till you've passed the lilac door ways,
Flung aside the silver blue,
Oped the rinse gates of evening,
And have sailed your good ship through
Then-at eventime and songtime,
While a pearl mist clasps the shore,
You will step across the moon light
And my hear will sigh nomore.
-KU CORTLAND, i 81. Louis Magazine.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
She Cost Her Weight in Gold.

Mrs. Jesus Castro, an aged Mexican
lady, now residing at American Flag,
in the Santa Catilina mountains, is
perhaps the only mi who, literally
speaking, ever cost her husband her
weight in gold. 1t is said that in the
early gold-digging days of California
she was a resident of Sonora, in which
state she was born and grew to.
womanhood. When about the age of
II a paternal uncle, but a few years
her senior, returned with his COM
panions, gold laden, from the Ell
Dorado of the west, and became des-
perately enamored of her. He sought
her hand in marriage and was accept
ed, but the church refused, because of
the lear relationship existing between
them, to solemnize the marriage.
Persuasion being in vain, he tried
the power of gold to win the church
his way, and succeeded only by the
payment of her weight in gold. She
at that time weighed III pounds, and
against her in the scales glittering dust
was shoveled. Her affianced husband
still had sufficient of this worlds
goods to provide a comfortable home.
and they were married. They lived
happily together. and she bore to her
husband eleven children. In the
of years he died, and she mar
ried again, MI. Castro being her Sec
ond husband. The above is a fact and
not fiction, as living witnesses can
prove.-Tucson Star.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
Pay One Hundred Cents on the Dollar

ray OHc Hunufcu Genus OH tne DOll2r.
What | started out to say, my boy,
was this: If you are in debt, carry
yourself calmly as the great houses
do. If you owe a merchant $50 don't
be in too big a hurry to pay it. just
let him sweat over it a little while, I'M
til you see how much he is going to
pay on his own debts. Then you can
pro rate with him.
But, on second thought, / don't
want you to do that way. You want
to reform this great evil, do you notP
Well, the best way to bring about that
reform is to walk up and pay that 500
you owe, just the first minute you can
collier the money. If you owe it to a
rascal, never mind, it is a just debt
on your part, and don't keep the con-
science OF the assignment operator.
You pay 100 cents on the dollar every
time. Then by and by, as you and
your neighbors do this and teach
your children so to do. there will arise
a generation of men in America who
will pay 100 cents on the dollar. and
Canada will become a bowling will
derness, u~ntenated save by the wild
bear and the wolf who will help the
wildness howl.
Bank cashiers will sleep at home
and confidential clerks will spend
their vacations In town. and mans
salary will pay for everything he gets.
Bat the only way to bring about this
preparatory millennium, my boy, is
for you to pay that 500 when you owe
it-every cent of it, No matter how
much the other man owes nor how
little he pays. You pay your debts,
my dear boy, and l will know at least
one mai to WHOM L won't be afraid to
loan money without collateral security
OF gilt-edged paper.-R. j.. Burdette.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
Female Physicians in England.

OF lady doctors there are at present
few in England, but the select few who
have taken are already reaping a rich
harvest of fees. The two most dis
tinguished lady practitioners in Lon.
don are DR.. Garrett-Anderson, a sister
of the wife of the late Prof. Fawcett,
and DR.. Arabella Kenealy, a daughter
of the late DR.. Kenealy, a brilliant ad-
vocate and finished scholar. Both of
the ladies | have named enjoy large
and lucrative practices, and medical
men of the highest standing, who have
met them in consultation, while
strongly Directing to the admission of
ladies into the profession, have told
me that they are certainly not inferior
in ability to doctors of the highest
standing of like age and experience.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
The Wife,s Commandments.

IL am thy wife; thou shalt have
none bat me, whom at Gods altar
thou hast sworn to love, protect and
cherish.
II.-1hou shalt not attend places of
amusement. alone or with other gentle
men, but with thy wife; so she may
also be "au fait' as to what Is going
on.
lII.-Thou shalt not encourage
"Woman's Fighters" and other gentle
manly women; for thou knowest well,
their rights are to attend their homes.
and families, and let all things pertain
ing to mankind alone-save their
[ pocket-books.
IV.-Thou shalt not complain of
thy wife to a third party. Speak
kindly to her in private, so she will
desire to correct her faults. because it
is thy wish and for her good. Neither
shalt thou always be talking of sex
pense" and other disagreeable sub
jects, for thou spendest far more on
club suppers, etc. han she on neces-
stiles of life. French bonnets, par
example.
V.--Thou shalt not marry a lady
whom thou canst not trust with the
management of thy home and children;
and then, thou shalt not interfere in
her kingdom. If thou attemptest it,
she will be justified in DOMINIC hat
and coat and taking charge of thy BUSH
ness.
VI.-Thou shalt not refuse thy wife
''pretty things" Remember, to
dress her beautifully and keep her
true is part of every Benedict's
duty.
VI.-Thou shalt not be Glossy,
and authoritaveve in thy n to
thy wife. Thou shouldst know, any
proud spirited woman would resent
a command, when she would sacrifice
herself without limit to comply with a
request.
VIII.-Thou shalt not imagine thou
hast a monopoly of annoyances and a
patent right on grievances. Thou
shalt consider the many trials to tenn
per and patience, caused by sick chill
dren, inefficient servants, smoking
flues, bad plumbing and gossiping
n~eighbors, to which thy wife is con-
stantly exposed, and then thou shalt
not always expect her to be as sweet,
fair, and unrutlled as a beautiful Eas-
ter Lily.
lX.-Thou shalt not neglect to talk
pleasantly and intelligently to thy
wife of the current topics of the day
of the new and good things in Art,
Science and Literature. Let thy con-
versation be an exchange of thought
as well as discussion of feeling, and in
this way, thou shalt educate her to be
an intelligent companion (sharing thy
sentiments, tastes and aspirations) as
well as a wife.
X.-Thou shalt hold thy wife's feel
ing sacred as thine own; remembering
love and kindness is always the ''open
scasamo" to a woman's heart, without
which her life is a dreary thing. Treat
her as thou wouldst wish to be treated
if a woman, then will she die blessing
thee, and recommending thee TO the
prettiest girl of her acquaintance with
directions as to now ''John liked his
salads dressed. "-JudiM N. Gardiner
IN 81. Louis Magazine.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
A Wonderful Freak OF Nature

is sometimes exhibited in our public
exhibitions. When we gaze upon some
of the peculiar freaks dame nature oc-
casionally INDUCES in, our minds revert
back to the creation of man, ''who is so
fearfully and wonderfully made" The
mysteries of his nature have been I'M
raveled by DR.. r. V. Pierce, of Buffalo,
and through his knowledge of those
mysteries he has been able to prepare
his Golden Medical Discovery" which
is a specific for all blood taints, poisons
and huraors, such as scrofula, pimples,
blotche7. eruptions, s%wellings, tumors,
ulcers and kindred affections. By drug
gists.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
Poor Feuo Wss

Frustrated, d~ebilitate1, enfeebled,
they feel as if they were hardly worth
picking up. They would hardly give
the toss of a bright penny for a chance
of a choice between life and death. But
even such forlorn people can be renew
ed by the use of Browns Iron Bitters.
1t vitalizes the blood, tones the nerves,
and %renovates the system. MIR. Isaac
G. Weed, Burr's Mills, o., says: 81
used Browns Iron Bitters for general
weakness, and it helped me greatly
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17
Worth Remembering.

An exchange says: II is worth re-
Wondering that no newspaper is
printed especially for one person any
more than a hotel is built especially to
please n guest. People who become
greatly d~ispleased with something
they find in a newspaper, should re-
member that the very thing that dis
pleases them is exactly the thing that
will please somebody who has just as
much interest in the paper as they
have
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-04-17

looked up and saw Fred. He took
another step forward, and put forth
both his hands.
mot gonc?n she whispered.
''No, Isabel he cried. 81 met
your-BRoTHER! The clouds burst
asunder-the sunlight fell upon my
parh-and, guided by the bright,
promising beams, | have come back.
May l remainp Isabel-dear Isabel!
it is for you to say"
Whatever answer she made was
made upon Fred's bosom, and smoth-
cred in tears and sobs of joy and bless
ing. The noble, true-hearted girl was
not ashamed TO own her love on the
spot, and to declare that she should
have been very miserable if she had
never seen her lover again;-for that
he wdS her lover, she knew. But that
he had mistaken her for her brothers
wife she did not mistrust until he came
TO bid her a final adieu. Then the
truth burst upon her; but she could
not then correct him without seeming
to " her W love. She did not
know that Harry had never told him
of his sister; and she forgot that Bella
had been persuaded to accompany her
husband at the very last moment, and
that she herself was Illing a place
which the guest had expected to find
filed by another.
However, it was all right in the end.
The business in New York was left to
take care of itself yet a while longer.
There was more important business on
the tapis in the pleasant villa up the
Hudson-the entering into a partner
ship that was TO last while life should
endure.