Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-07-03
FOUGHT FOR HIS WIFE.


bother me"
Mrs. Colling was widow. She owned
farm in southern Arkansaw, stood
high in the society of the neighborhood,
and, was consequently happy. Bill
SPOTS was an eighteen-year- ar-old boy.
He had fallen in love with Mrs. Collins
and, as the neighbors expressed it, was
dead set upon marrying her. Although
ordered to go away, and although the
manner as well as the words of Mrs.
Collins plainly indicated that the boy
was wasting his time, yet, undaunted, he
fingered in that rich abundance of hope
which for a time accompanies youth
along the road of life.
81 will not go, Mrs. Collins, until |
have had satisfactory answer"
81 told you Mo-"
"But No is not satisfactory"
"Now, look here. Bill, want you to
90 away and let me alone. I've got
work to do, want you to understand ~
"Oh, l understand, and am perfectly
willing to help you do your work"
"Bill, why don't you marry some
young girl2"
Because | want to marry you"
"Why do you want to marry me"
" Because l love you."
"Why do you love me?"
" "Because l can't help it."
Am l so handsome as all thatY"
"You are the prettiest thing ever
saw"
You are complimentary, I must say
but assman--or rather boy, should be
sensible rs we'll as complimentary.
" think the persistency with which
urge my suit shows my sense"
at does not; it only shows your pig
headedness."
You are equally pigheaded."
"My goodness, boy, go on away from
here and let me see a moments peace"
"Then l would be eternally miserable.
Say, Mrs. Collins, will you please state
your objections to me-"
You are too young. My son Dan is
as old as you are. He is equally as large
and l haven't the least doubt but he
could whip you right now. A stepson
should never be able to whip his step
father. Dan is always hungry for fight,
and to thresh you every day would be
the delight of his soul. That would be
embarrassing to me, for no woman likes
to see her husband whipped"
Bill reflected seriously "I had not
thought of that" he said. "Say, Mrs.
Collins, we might make compromise
with Dam"
"No, such thing would be impossi
BILE, for Dan has often said that he in.
tends to whip the man I marry"
II respect your objections, Mrs. Col
Inns, but | do not intend to be cheated
out of my rights"
"What can you do?"
81 must whip DAN"
'Impossible.
''No, it is not impossible. I'll take
boxing and wrestling lessons until can
down him every time. Then he will re-
spect me-"
'Now, Bill, am going to be frank.
love you-never mind, sit down. will
aid you all can. and when l see that
you are able to whip Dan, will marry
you"
Enough said," Bill joyously ex-
claimed. 81 will go at once and sec
that boxing man."
Hank Jasper, retired boxer, lived
about two miles from the Collins place.
Bill called on him and explained his ur-
gent need of fist science.
II can soon give you muscle and
slight" said Jasper. "Three lessons a
week for two months will fix you all
right OF course, I'll have to charge
you pretty we'll"
ooh, never mind the cost" Bill re-
piled.
"Well, we'll begin at once"
Bill, with an ardor which such cause
would naturally inspire, began the work
of preparation. He hung up a sand bag
in his room, and with charcoal, drew on
one side of it, what he conceived to be q
likeness of Dan Collins
"Now, Mr.. Collins" he would say,
as he rolled up his sleeves and squinted
at the bag, 81 am prepared to give you
another mauling. Don't want me to
marry your mother, eh9 Don't think
that am entitled to the rights of an
American citizen9 Reckon you have
told your mother that you intend to
whale me, eha Well, we'll see."
Then ne would dash at the pretended
image of the youth who stood between
him and his hearts desire, and, it may
be strange to say, he was always success
full.
Jasper took great interest in the stu
dent and so far forgot his professional
etiquette as to let the youth into some of
the deepest secrets of the science. He
assured the lover that he could not fall
short of victory, and, on several occa-
sions, shook hands with him in con-
gratulatory manner.
One day, just before the two months
of training had expired, Bill, while riding
along the road, met young Collins.
"Say, Bill, ma tells me that you want
to marry her."
eyes, what have you got to say about
itW
Dan laughed. "What have l got to
say about it, why, confound your hide,
do you suppose that would allow such
plug ugly as you are to marry my
mother9 Why, I'd have to call you out
early every morning"
"What for2''
"To take your whipping"
''It would take better man than you
to whip me, Dan Collins"
eyes, that's what you think, but wAen-
ever you feel lide trying your hand, just
come over and l will give you few
touches that will show you who's in tho
teld."