Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-07-07
BRIGHT BITS.

a HOUSEHOLD JOURNAL prints directions
1or serving spring chicken. Another good
way Is TO serve IL before il celebrates It's ninth
birthday'-No7rtst0len Herdld.
MISSOURI COURT to cop: what is the
charger Drunk, yerroner.' Court to pris-
oner: Got any excuset" "Yesh, yerrOner,
sail RI, yerroner. From Iowa, jusht takin'
back slittle whIsk for shnake bites. sail RI"
day Nail.
COMMITTING SUICIDE.-"How is Jim Bull
lard getting on?" asked stranger at the rail-
road station OF a Dakota town. "Jim kerr
mltted suicide bout er month ago" replied
native. COMMITTED suicide? How did he
commit suicide?n "He called me liar,
stranger. '-Nelo York Sun.
"O'RAFFERTY," said Judge Duffy Of the
New J ork Police Court, your wife swears
you struck her with great violence" vivid
great vlollns. whln there Is devil a fiddle, big
or NUE. on the prameses. She eNaggerates
too much entoirely, yer Honor IL was wild
me boot that rebuked her."-Tezds Sittin1S.
THAT'S the way every dayy angrily ex-
claimed man ae he boarded a O'Clock Wal
nut hills car with his wife. whats that@
she inquired. "Why, the cars are always full
about going home time" just like the
men" she replied sweetly and he grabbed a
strap, stepped on an old woman's toes and re-
NAMED silent.-herchGnt Trdgeler.
DEFIANCE FOR AN ALIBI.-"If you are in
nocent,' said a lawyer to his client, an old
darky who was charged with stealing ham,
we ought to be able to prove an alIbi." al
don specs we kim" the darSy replied doubt
fully. AT what time was the ham stolen?"
- Bout Iebben O'clock dey saw" 'WeU
where were you between eleven O'Clock and
midnight--in bed?" "So, sab; / Wah hidin'
de.ham. '-Ne1o York Sun.
SHE sits on the shady piazza.
Looking out on the cool summer sea;
She has on q rich rObe-de- Paris
That would he a small fortune to me,
I'm Inv or1~ nd 4rf q
She sings by the light OF the moon
With pennless dude who's not witty,
EndeaVorlng TO ilirt and to spoon.
Boston BWdGet.
MELGCAN vs.. CHINESE
Washee. washee, from morn till night
No get drunkee. no go fight:
No give sassee to Mclean man,
Workee hardee all he can.
Mclean man loafee all day long,
SPIT on Cbiuee, no say wrong:
Stealee muChee Wnen he cOuldee,
Lie bout Chnee, say no goOdee.
When Chince die, all go to glory!
sing all Ramee same old story;
Mclean bad man, he 10 to he!
Chlnee say tits welle welle.-TIR hee.
A wELL-KNowN CONDUCTOR was summoned
to appear before the Superintendent. Can
tain said the high official, ''we appreciate
your services" Thank you, SIT =" "Not at
all, | assure you. Yes, we appreciate your
services, but has it never occurred to you that
your train earnsg As long as you only took
half we said nothing. and even when you be-
gan to take two-thrds there was only slight
difference of opinion in the board Of directors,
but now that you have begun to take ALL we
cannot stand il. Times are too hard, Captain.
Good bye. - kGnsG10 TrdDeLsr.
''THhEE men and boy" sailed out into the
South,
Out into the South all the four went down,
With treaty for Chill, and words in each
mouth
To close IT up promptly and do il up brown:
For trips are pleasant. and Senators deep,
And travel Is easy, and elOquenCe CHEAP,
And commerce is not improving.
"Three men and a boy" with the President
talked,
With santa Maria, and their minds they
freed,
But he snuhbed them coldly, and out they
walked.
Chill reception is chilly indeed!
And trips are pleasant, and Senators deep,
And travel is easy, and eloquence cheap,
But commerce Is not improving.
-EHchdnge.