St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-10-08
Sam Jones.

pendent some interesting particulars
regarding this celebrated Southern re-
vivalist:
Yes, simply Sam Jones. That's the
way he wants it put, and that's what
he is usually called. Evidently he has
no relish for such dignified bearing as
is found in the name Rev. Samuel p.
Jones. Indeed, dignity of any sort
seems distasteful to him. Dignity"
says he, sis the starch of the shroud.
The more dignity a fellow has, the
nearer dead he is. L expect to be as
dignitied as any of you when | get into
my coffin
Perhaps the chief charm of this won
derful man is the abundance of aphOr-
isms which crowd every sermon.
He is in his thirty eighth year and
his ministry of twelve years has been
confined to Georgia (his native state),
Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, Tennes-
see, South Carolina, Kentucky, Nilsson
/ ri, and Brooklyn. n. Y. His assistance
is in demand all over the South, and
much in the North. He adopted the
law as a profession, and failed of emf
nent success in it only through his in
temperance and dissOlute habits. At
the age of twenty five, upon the death
of his father, he abandoned his profess
sion and his dissOlute life, and entered
the church and the ministry. His work
has been directed mainly against the
popular vices of the day. He is un-
sparing in his denunciatiOns. Here
are some specimens of his attitude to-
ward public feeling:
When | began preaching, was
afraid l would hurt somebody's feel
ings. Now Pm afraid | won't.
If anybody don't like what | say, let
him come to me, and III forgive him.
What business have you with your
feelings sticking out like porcupine
quilts.
have let my bucket down so deep
that have stirred up your mud but
its mig bucket and yOur mud.
He is man of liberal education,
wide reading, minute observation, and
thorough knowledge of human nature.
But he chooses the negro style of eX-
preston, for its Oddity and effective
ness. He seems to have but one rule
of grammar, and that is to break all
the commonest rules of grammar. To
his critics he says: II am trying to
get my grammar and style down on
|
.Hf YOU will notice my style, you will
learn what think of my hearers"
His chief onslaught is against whis-
ky:
Whisky is good thing in its place
but its place is in hell.
These little politicians say that 1t
won't do to bring the question of pro-
hibition into politics; it will hurt their
party. Well, if your party has to ride
into power on whisky barrel it
ought to be hurt.
Some fellows say: Don't mix politics
with religion. When you hear Il fell
low talk that way, you may know he
hasn't any religion to mix.
You can't reform state with swill
tub for governor, and lot of old mash
tubs sitting on the bench.
An old skunk of thing staggering
around on both sides of the street ut
once is beautiful representative.
Look out for your drug stores; look
out for your little cyurly headed doc
tors.
The liquor traffic ought to he made
so OdiOus that nobody but an Internal
scoundrel will sell it, and nobody but
an Internal fool will drink it.
The devil is going to slip up on you
with drunken sOn-in-law, and I'll bet
he will make you n prOhibitl0nist with
Il vengeance.
Talk about high license for whisky
I'd as soon have high license for small
pOx.
God will put the bar-keeper and the
legislature in hell together.
In a town in Georgia IL number of
4 20 al
now the town is full of poor little
whip poor will widows.
Occasionally he drives his thunder
bolts at the practice of dancing:
What is a ball room? 1t is the ante
room to n german. And what is Il ger
man 1t is the ante-rOOm to eternal
disgrace.
| wonld put my children into the
coils of the worms of the Nile before |
would put them into the hands of "A
dancing master. | wouldn't wipe my
feet on the rotten rascal.
| will never deliberately turn my
children over to any man, and pay him
by the month to train them up for
damnatiOn.
Nor does profanity escape his with
ering rebuke:
would rather associate with n dog
than with a profane swearer. / never
heard dog swear mean Il fOur-leg-
ged one.
God pity the brute-the human brute
that will swear before his child. |
don't believe there is a hOg-a regular
old piney- woods, razOr-back .hOg-lOw
enough to degrade its young III such
despicable way as that.
Mr.. Jones goes through billiards,
cards, lying, euchre, horse-racing, and
the rest of the popular vices, after the
same spicy manner:
He also gives the church its due pro-
portion of his attention
Many man imagines that he has
got religion, when it's only liver com
plant.
If | had n church of two hundred
members, and only twenty attended /,
prayer meeting, | would sell out to the
niggers, and sell on credit at that.
Some preachers never run up on
sinner until he is on his death bed. |
About all they are fit for is to marry |
the living and bury the dead.
TO run a meeting, it takes grace |
grit and greenbacks. God will furnish |
the grace, | can furnish the grit, and
you the greenbacks. like the divi-
sion of labor.
| sometimes go to a place, and find
the preacher in the shafts, pulling the
whole load, with his tongue lOlling |
out, and the whole church up on the |
wagon, some dancing, some drinking, |
some gambling, some swearing, some
fussing, some praying, some weeping, |
some shouting, some tattling, some