davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

1t was the poet Cowper who flung
a whole volume of philosophy into

1t was the poet Cowper who flung
whole volume of philosophy into
this couplet:
absence ofoccupation is not rest;
A mind quite vacant is mind dis
tressed.-
This idea is worth q moments
thought. Not one of the thousands
of Argosy readers, it is to be hoped,
would deliberately set out to be a
'loafer." The very word makes one
shudder with feeling of contempt.
Yet the loafer is product of slow
growth. He begins with absence
of occupation That is, in his leis-
ure hours he does not turn himself
to something, be it frolic, if you will,
which taxes his powers. Soon he
comes to have "a mind quite vacant, ;"
and then he is on the high road to
success in the world of loaferdom.
The true way to rest is to be act
i've in diversion. The invalid needs
pillows and repose, but the healthy
boy and girl takes rest more natur-
ally by change ofoccupation. "Snap'
is worth good deal in recreation as
well as work.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28
The stone In the Road.

There was a Duke once who dis
guised himself and placed a great
rock in the middle of the road near
his palace.
Next morning a peasant came that
way with his OK cart. ooh, these
lazy people y said he, "there is this
stone lying right in the middle ofthe
road, and no one will take the trou-
BILE to put it out of the way And
SO Hans went on, scolding about the
laziness of the people.
Next came a gay soldier along.
His head was held so far back
that he didn't notice the stone, and
80 he stumbled over it. He began to
storm the country people around
there for leaving huge rock in the
road. Then he went on.
Next came company ofmerchants.
When they came to the stone the
road was so narrow that they had to
go off in single file on the other side
One of them cried out, ibid anybody
ever see the like of that big stone ly-
ing here the whole of the morning,
and not a single person stopping to
take it away?"
1t lay there for three weeks, and
no one tried to move it. Then the
Duke sent around to all the people
on his lands to meet where this rock
lay, as he had something to tell them.
The day came; and great crowd
gathered. Old Hans, the farmer,
was there,and SO were the merchants.
a horn was heard and splendid cav
alcade came galloping up. The Duke
got down from his horse, and began
to speak to the people gathered there.
'My friends, it was I who put this
stone here three weeks ago. Every
passer-by has left it just where it
was, and has scolded his neighbor
for not taking it out of the wayn
He stopped down and lifted up
the stone Directly underneath it
was a round hollow, and in the hol-
low was a small leathern bag, that
all might see what was written on it,:
"For him who lifts up the stone :"
He united the bag, and turned it
upside down, and out upon the stone
fell beautiful gold ring, and twenty
large bright gold coins.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

self, rs to confess the knowledge.
If you want to grow healthy,
wealthy and wise, go straight to the
printer and advertise.
Many girl has for her steady COM
panion a young man who is notori-
ously unsteady.
No fault can be as bad as the feel
ing which is quick to see and speak
of the faults Of others.
One of the best rules in converse
ton, is never to say anything that
any one present can wish unsaid.
Why is the Washington monument
like Washington himself? 1t will
stand forever--it can never lie.
Give tramp thecold shoulder one
day, and he will come back the next
for gravy aud potatoes to go with it,
Mothers should remember, in the
absence of their physicians, that
Ayers Cherry Pectoral promptly re-
ieves the Group.
When a girl is baby, small caps
are all that she requires. bnt when
she becomes young lady, her head
gear requires a large capital.
Kate Fields says she would rather
be a hired girl than the wife Of q
Mormon. II that isn't just like a
woman. She always wants to To
boss
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

A tramp stopped at blacksmith
shop, and seeing that one Of the
blacksmith's had a bald head, told
him that if he would loan him ten
cents he would give him receipt by
which he could protect his head in
summer from the flies. The bald
headed man, who found flies extre-
mely annoying, agreed to give
the ten cents. Every well, said the
tramp, "wait till II get brush
and some paint?" What do you
want with brush and paint? was
the inquiry. /" Why" said the
tramp, with a wave of his hand, as
he stepped out Of the door with the
ten cents in his grip, II am going
to paint spider on your head"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28
Mormon Vgliness.

Europe owes an immense debt Of
gratitude to the Mormons, who con-
siderately take all the old maids off
its hand. In no part of the world is
there to be found within the same
space an uglier collection of women
than among the "Saints." The Ter
ritory is the paradise of female I'M
loneliness. The blind, the halt, and
the lame from all quarters Of the
globe gather there under the pro-
tecting shadow Of the tabernacle.
The Saints themselves would bear
off the palm of masculine deformity
if a competition of the kind could
be instituted. Polygamy really car
ries with it its own punishment. In
the natural course of events it must
die out. The supply ofugly women
is very large, but it is not inexhaus-
tible even in Europe. There is no
chance of obtaining rescruits at
home, for all our women are beauti-
full, and who ever heard of an Amer
lean old maid? No unmarried young
woman ever becomes older than 81.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

Miss Anna Johnson, Of III Front street
Columbus, Ohio, says: suffered from
an aggravated form Of constipation and
indigestion for several months. Ny fains
lily physician tried all kinds Of medicines
and pills, but to no effect. began to think
my case was hopeless one. Al friend Of
mine Mrs. Eivira Redmond. of East Long
street, this city,, called,and seeing the con-
dition was in, recommended me to try
your MANALrN. Unjust say had but little
faith in the medicine, but after had taken
few doses was convinced that MANA
LIN was the medicine for me. After
had taken ono bottle was entirely well
OF my complaint. / consider ii one of the
best remedies DEMONSTRATION have ever
used. I have several friends who are us
ing it. They think it an excellent remedy.
! recommend it to all who are afflicted
with constipation or indigestion. Amy
one doubling this statement Is invited 70
call on me at "A Front street"
Mr.. Milton Knots, Urbana, O., writes:
Last November one year ago was tax
en- sick, and callcdin our family physician.
He examined me and said had symp-
toms of typhoid fever. He gave me
medicine for two weeks or more with
outany relief. began to think that my
days on earth were fast closing in.
saw at once that his medicine would
not reach my disease. Just as was about
to conclude that would have to die, my
daughter brought me one Of your pamph-
let's. noticed a case whose symptoms
were like mine, and PERuNA and MANA
LIN had cured him. concluded at once
to try II. procured one bottle of PERU
Ma and one OF MANALIN, and took them
ms directed, and before had used the two
bottles began to receive strength and
gain in flesh. finished the rest of the
two bottles and continued It's use until
the third bottle was used. When they
were used could eat anything wanted
to and go about my work. consider
that lift hadn't been for your PERuNA
would have been in my grave. Parties
Wishing Information can write mo at the
above place recommend your mcdi-
cine wherever go.'
Mr.. John X. Davis, Moundsvillc, w.
Va, writes, ~ have been handling
your PERuNA ever since its introduction,
All who have used itsaeak highly Of III
curative properties. consider 1t q rcli
able remedy"
Mr. George Fisher, Portsmouth, O.,
writes am handling your PKRuNA,
and having good trade on it. It gives
splendid satisfaction"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28
The Swallows Lesson.

because bird lives in Chin
ney, he need not be smutty.' This
was written about chimney swallows
but it is dead shot at men and wo-
mon. Also boys and girls, for what
hits the elders doesn't usually miss
the young folks. And, now, what
is the point in it? Why, simply
this, that one may rise superior to
his condition. The chimney swallow
has the whole heaven 70 fly in, tho
he sleeps in smoky fue. So men
and women, though cramped by toll
and poverty, have the whole world
Of mind and emotion at their SER
vice.
Is there nothing inspiring in this
thought? How many young people
start dismally in their lifc's work be-
cause they have no money in their
purse, or because they have no in
fiuence to back them, or because
they think they have no great abili-
ty. They SILVER when they look at
the great heights of attainment, and
say: "Alas, that is not for me =
They cover in their humble starting
place, when they might rise with
courage and perseverance and attain
those very heights themselves.
Now it is really fair and square,
trait of human nature not to be con-
tented with the worst, but to strive
for the best. He only half lives who
suffers himself to be handicapped at
every step by the circumstances of
his beginning, Why, it would take
a volume of the INDEPENDENT to re-
count the histories Of great men and
women who became famous because,
like the swallows, they flew above
the SCOT of their chimney. To do
better, to be better, ought to be the
grand aim of all. And if the chin
ney be smutty-that is, if the start
ing point be low and even degrad.
ing-there is the grand, free air and
sunlight above.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28
THE ooLoRBD SENTINEL.

While the American army was in
camp at Cambridge, Mass, General
Washington heard the colored SOL
diers could not be depended upon as
sentinels. He determined to ascer-
tain the truth or falsity of the re-
port by personal investigation.
So the night, when the password
was "Cambridge," he went outside
OF the camp, put on an overcoat, and
then approached colored sentinel.
"Wbo goes there 2" cried the SEN
tinel.
"a FRIEND" replied Washington.
''Friend, advaoce unarmed, and
give the countersign,n said the color
ed man.
Washington came up and said /:
"Roxbury,"
"No, sah," was the response
"Medford," said Washington.
mo, sah," returned the colored
soldier.
"Charlestown," said Washington.
The colored man Immediately ex-
claimed: I tell you, Massa Washing
ton, no man go by here out he say
Cambridge Youths Companion,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28
Wit and Humor.

A hot box, sometimes-A jury
box.
An elevated road--the road to for
tune.
A secluded spot--The ace up
your sleeve.
What girl are not apt to object to
Sunday males.
A man who rises by his profes.
sion--A builder of elevators.
If you're going to sware off, why
not swar off from swaring of.
Ifignorance is bliss some people
must be supremely happy.
A doubtful state-Wondering
whether she will except him or not.
Where there's a will there's q way
for the lawyer to get round it.
Each departed friend is a magnet
that attacts us to the next world.
It is not SO difficult to know ones
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

AN EDITORS TRIBUTE Theron p.
Heater Editor, of Fit. Wayne, Ind.
Gazette" writes "For the past five
years have always used Dr. Kings New
Discovery, for coughs of most severe
characters, as well as for those of mil
der type, 1t never fails to effect A
speedy cure. My friends to whom
have recommended it speak of it in
same high terms. Having been cured
by it of every cough have had for
FIVE years, / consider it the only reli-
able and sHre cure for Coughs, Colds,
etc.' Call at E. G. Williams 81 Bros,
Drug Store and get Free Trial Bot
tie. Large Size $1.00.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

Mr. VIM. Johnson, of Huron, Oak. writes
that his wife had been troubled with acute
Bronchitis for many years and that all rem
edies tried gave no permanent relief, until
he procured bottle Of Or Kings New Dis.
covery for Consumption, Coughs, and Colds,
which had a magical effect, and produced a
permanent cure. II is guaranteed to cure all
Diseases Of Throat, Lungs, or Bronchial
Tubes.
Trial Bottles Free at e. @. Williams 4
Bros. Drug Sore. Large Size Sl.00.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

"Haye you decided on your winter
suit" inquired tailor Of sad-eyed
gentleman lounging in the doorway
of the store. "No," was the melan-
choly reply: shut I believe my wife
has" s.Your wife has?" exclaimed
the puzzled haber-dasher. eyes: I
believe she calls it divorce suit
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

Mr.. T. w Atkins Girard Kan, writes:
81 never hesitate 10 recommend your Electric
BitFers to my customers,hey give Ell tire sat-
isfacuon and are rapid sellers" Electric
known and Will positively cure Kidney and
Liver complaints. Purify the blood and reg
ulate the bowels No family can afford to be
without them. They will save hundreds Of
dollars in doctors bills every year. Sold at
ffty cents bottle by E Williams & Bro.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

The best blooS purifier and system regulate
or ever placed within the reach of suffering
humanity, truly is Ekctiic Bt,ers lnactiy-
ity of the Liver, BiIliousness, Janndce
Constipation, Weak Kidneys, or any disease
OF the urinaty organs, or whoever requires
an appetizer, tonic or mild stimulant, will
always find Electric Bitters the best and only
certain cure known. They act surely and
quickly, every bottle guaranteed to give en-
tire satisfaction or money refunded Sold at
Fifty cents bottle by e. @. Williams h Bro,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

Remember that sslirfs with buttons are
The dream ofmenss hard lives.
Rip. turn. twist,
L u your hands ere weary and worn
Bot the wlud viii weepa waiting sigh
Tarough the pants that are ever torn.' !"
"You're very kind, Y said the
young lady going.
Don't mentionit Come in again
when you think we are all out. p
Chicago Tribune.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

l have been troubled with Catarrh of
the head and throat for the last five
years. About three years ago com
meDced the use of Ely's Cream Balm,
and from the FIRST application l was re-
lieved. The sense of smell, which had
been lost, was restored after using one
bottle. have found the Balm the on
iy remedy for Catarrh l have used with
satisfaction, and it has accomplished a
cure in my case. H. l.. Myer, Waiver
lv. N. Y.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

POSITIVE CuRE ron PILEs. TO the people
of this County We would say we have been
given the Agency OF DR.. Marchisis Italian
Pile Oinment--emphatically guaranteed to
Cure or money refu aided Interval. External,
Bind Bleeding or Itching Piles Price SOC.
= Box. No Cure, No Pay. For sale by J. A
O. Hover, Druggist. June fly.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28
A STINGY YOUTH.

They went walking through. the Park.
He and she; IL
Both az happy as lark, ssysslna
Gay and free.
Then they chartered like two birds.
Idle nonsense, empty words,
She and he.
Long they ambled on the mall.
He and she;
Till the dew began to fall
Heavily.
NOW no longer we must roam,
So think I'll take you home,n
Then said he.
coon they saw the sign ice cream
He and she;
With little stiAed scream,
Full of lee.
How delig htsul, Oh. how nice |
For we now can have an ice -
Murmured she.
Then they looked at one another.
He and she;
lShe, his sister; he. her brothfr,)
No, stree
ThinQs are seldom what they SEEM
There is poison in that cream"
Mutieied he.
RI another fellows sister
Had been there,
He would probably have kissed her
Face 30 fair;
And he d treat her to some ice,
All regardless ofthe price,
We declare.
TO THE GIRL.
When you walk again. another
Pleasant day,
Take some other fellows brother,
By the way.
Then you'll get enough to eat,
For he Il surely stand a treat
SO they say.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

The Best Salve ia the wosId for Cuts
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands cs.lhi.,as
Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and ,,osisIye.
" ~lres Piles, or mo pay required. ii y
warranted to give perfect satisfaction. q
money refunded. Price % cent Ter boz.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

DO you see that dogs' asked..the
dirty faced man. "Well, sir, that
animal saved my life once.' did
he! 7" replied Fogg; s'don't blame
him. He probably didn't know any
better
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

Even elderly ladies will wear hats
in the spring, for all the bonnet
shapes are small, eccentric and suit
able only for evening wear for very
young faces.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

Having used Ely's Cream Balm for
about year. l can say it is just the
thing for catarrh. Miss Matte A Ba-
ker, Fast Templeton. Mass.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28

A girl should learn
To sew.
To cook.
To mend.
To be gentle.
To value time.
To dress neatly.
To keep secret.
To be self-reliant.
To avoid idleness.
To darn stockings.
To mind the baby.
To respect old age.
To make good bread.
To keep house tidy.
TO make home happy,
To control her temper.
To humor q cross man.
To take care of the sick.
To sweep down cob-webs.
To marry man for his worth.
To be a help-mate to husband.
To keep clear of trash literature.
To take plenty of active exercise.
To read some book besides novels.
To see a mouse without screaming.
To be light-headed and fleet-footed.
To wear shoes that won't cramp
her feet.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1885-02-28


"sAn Indian girl was sitting where
Her lover, Walking-Flca-Patch, lay;
Beside her stood spawned horse
That sadly chewed some mussy hay,
Upon stump herself she hung,
And then this simple lay she sung;
.sPve placed The bottle at your head,
O Walking Flca-Patch, so that when
You strike the town and paint it red
You will not miss your Laughing Hen,
Who, sitting III the. wigwam, will
Adore her noble warrior STILL"
"Now, you see," said the horse re-
porter, "those selections cover the
childish glee and loving trustfulness
rackets. What you want to finish
with is something pathetic-some-
thing that will make the young wo-
men sniffie. Hoods Song Of the
Shirt ought to do that nicely. Sup
pose we sing 'em a few lines ofthat.'
"Ve.y WE'LL" said the young lady.
"You know / depend wholly on your
Judgment in this matter"
"Well here it is:
"With fingers weary and worn,
In little five room fiai,
A woman sat with eyelids red
Trying 20 him a hat
Rip, turn, twist,
Then gave it spiteful fiirt,
While beside her lies like ghostly thing
Her husbands buttonless shirt.
o girls, with brothers dear!
Ogirls who long to be wives!
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1885-09-18
RAYS OF LIGHT.
As Seen and Heard by the Light Reporters
on Their Rounds,

Now ia your time to get overcoats at
Emerson's. 4-O-tf
Fresh choice Michigan celery every
day at Labatt's, Market street. tf
Try shells loaded with American
Wood powder. OIsNuru Il Co.
-Iorra sells cheaper than anyone.
Suits and work guaranteed or no
sale. S-2J-lm
Military plaza, owing to. the mud,
presented deserted appearance last
night.
The French Consul Mt Galveston
was taking In the town In n buggy last
evening.
"A couple OF fights took place early
this morning on Military plaza, each
taking place between hackmen and their
dilntory delinquent customers.
The fireworks originally purchased
TO be used at the Fourth Of July celebra-
ton Mt the san Pedro springs, were set
oil last night in honor Of the indepon-
dence Of our sister republic.
The contractor for the new Govern
ment buildings to be erected here, Mr.
Walter Peasants, yesterday signed.
Jointly with Colonel i. q. &. Lee, Chief
Quartermaster, the contract for building
the same.
Every family, however. rich or poor,
can purchase useful patent household me-
cessities vt Texas Installment house ut
small weekly or monthly payments.
State headquarters No. 40 Fast llous-
ton street. j. +. Gang, proprietor and
general manager. 0-l-lm
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1885-09-18
WESTERN JUSTICE.
Roy Bean Has the cleanes, Docket in
the Country,

Good evening, Judge, how do you
come onY" said LIGnr man last evening
on meeting Roy Bean, the famous al
oalde Of Ninegaron, during the palmy
days Of railroad buillng on the PecOs.
Ills oil-hand summary Justice has been
the subject Of newspaper articles all
over the land, telling how he would
fine man to the drinks for the crow d
at his saloon for killing. Ninegaron.
with It's 1900 inhabitants In tents and
dug-outs. has passed away. but Roy
Bean Is yet Justice Of the Peace. having
moved his place Of business (saloon) and
residence. few miles above to what
was known as Eagles Nest, now as
Langtry, dining station on the banks
of the Rio Grande.
Judge, how are times with you
now2n
"Well, they are pretty good. | have
n couple Of bears. and when the train
stops the bears are made to climb pole
and perform. and that brings the pas
sengors about. The train men are In
with me, and they tell those tender feet
who / am, and that If they come about
me looking at my bears, that they had
better drink at my bar, as had just ms
lief Kill II man ms to look at him. That
brings in lots of business. There's moth
ing like knowing how to do these things.
you know. Business Is business, and
have not lived In San Antoine for these
many years without catching onto some
valuable business tricks, which | make
use Of now"
GLOW is law businessY"
Gan right There hain't much of It,
but when n case does come up 1t is dis
posed Of In the usual prompt manner.
There Is no laws delays In my court.
have been Justice OF the peace for several
years, and when commissioned |, OF
course, got docket. It is the cleanest
docket in the United States. There Is
not the scratch of the pen on II. What
Is the use of so much red tape? The
other day sheep herder came to me and
wanted to swear out warrant against
his boss for assault and battery. lie
said his boss had given MIN n beating
for losing sheep"
Did you lose any sheep?"
mo. SIR
Eyes, you did" / said: "you know
was not going to 90 against that sheep
man, who was friend and on my bond,
for common herder and so | must get
out Of it some way. pulled out letter
from Goldfrank, Frank q Co., dunning
me for bill owed them, and said: Il
Just got n letter from your boss, in
which he tells me that you lost sheep
three different times"
"lt's add lie; never lost sheep but
twice.
81 knew the fellow must be lying, and
so jumped up. seized club and let
him have 1t, sending him flying. That
ended that case. ! never 20 back on my
friends, you know. Take drink with
the, and when you come up my way
don't fail to stop and see the bears.
won't make you pay for your drinks.
Newspaper fellers have free ticket at
my bar"
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1885-09-18

Fourteen miles from San Antonio on the
Calaveras creek, containing 100 acres of
land, 80 acres under cultivation, one
house with two rooms, stable, good
well and water In the Calaveras creek.
Price $1,000.
very desirable property, as n sum
mer residence or dairy, 20 minutes drive
from Main plaza, consisting of 80 acres
of land under fence, good dwelling
house with six rooms and gallerys,
kitchen and store room, n good cistern
and water tanks, so head of milk cattle,
horse and farming implements. For
particulars address AZ. c." care LIGHT
Price $500.
AZ acres of land fenced between the
San Antonio river and the San Jose
ditch, three miles from San Antonio
Good location for dairy. Price S2,70C
so head improved milk COWS and
heifers; price SIS all around.