The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1885-03-11
PROFESSOR OF SIGNS.
CONSTITUTING THE SAME FACTS IN
OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.
4 learned FTonchinan's Experimental
sign Language the Only One To Be
come Universal Different Minds
Draw Different ConIusi0ps



Some time ago a learned Frenchman be-
came very enthusiastic on the subject Of a
universal language tor the human race
After much thought and theorizinS on the
subject he came 10 the conclusion that the
only language that c0uli be universal at
the present day must be q language of signs
Boing deeply impressed with the import
ance Of this language to humanity, he de-
termined to travel from country to country
and teach it in all their colleges and uni
vcrsities. As it happened, the first country
he reached in his travels was Ireland. and
the first institution he went 30 was the Uni
vorsity of Dubln.
lie called upon the president Of the uni
versity, and after some conversation with
him. asked him if he had 4 professor OF
signs in his university. Now there was 10
professor Of signs in the university, but the
president, not wishing to DO behind the
learned Freuchman, told him that they had
one The Frcnchman asked to be intro
duced to him The president was taken
back at this, but told him that he could not
see the professor that day, but if he would
call the next day at the same hour he would
introduce him.
After the Frcnchnan had gone, the presi-
dent called his professors together and told
them the fix he was in, and told them that
one Of them must play the part Of professor
Of signs next day. They all demurrod and
objected TO this, being afraid that they
| might be caught by tie Frenchmaa As
none of them was willing to play the part,
they at least decided to train Mike, tha
| choreman, for il. Mike had lost an eye, and
was very sensitive about it, thinking that
| people were constantly noticing it and max,
| ing illusions to it.
Mike was consulted, and consented TO play
the part, providing that the Freedman
should not refer to hissIefect The next day
the president and professors dressed Mike up
in q good suit Of clothes, took him 10 the
recItliion-room, seated him alone on the
platform, and then retired, fog the French
man was to soc him alone Before they left
him they told him what to do, and that he
must not speak.
He replied, Sure I'll not, if he saz nothin'
| about me DYE
At the appointed tins the Fronchmau
| called, anu WAS llsherei into the recitation
| room OF the professor Of signs The pre- i
| dent and professors waited in an adjoining
room anXiously for the result. In 4 short
time the Frenchman came back to them ap-
| pareutly much pleased
How did you like our professor Of sign,3'
| asked the president.
! Very much, indeed l congratulate you
| on your able professor | am more than
ever convinced that The language Of signs is
| to be the universal language. Whom I went
into the room held up one finger, meaning
there IS one God. He understood me at
once, and held up two fingers, meaning
| Father AMI Son. 1 then held W three in
| gers, meaning there are three persons in the
! Trinity He replied by doubling up MS
hand, meaning, And these three are one. !
| then withdrew. 1t is wonderful l am de-
! ighteL"
After the Frenchman had gone the prcsl-
drnt and professors sent in haste for Nike
! or, though they were pleased at having
| .,Ottan out Of the dilemml, they ws'e very
anxious to hear Mikes account Of tine inter-
| vi-w. Mike came ia, very angry. Il t7lll
| ycz ne w9Iii say something abOu- GI5 3ya
| TIE first thing he did was till hCuli ~ ,y.la
finger, N amin had but wan Oye.'
WHAT dil you do then, Mike" asked the
president
"S5ure ! held up lie two fingers, til! lot
| him know had two fists; an plat does the
durty hlackgulrl do but hould up three
! fingers MANN We had but three Dyes be
tvana Us. Thin l doubled up me INST, and
would a guy the frog'atin' varm'nt 4 welt
over his oye, but h. COMMUNIST a-sInilin' an
n-bowi1' m a-5crapiE' an wiut cut iy tbs
| r,,-,,