Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1885-07-02
FACT AND FANCY.

; trees in the American forests.
A man may see through the glass
, darkly, but the stone beer-mug
knocks him out
A military company is well drilled
when ii can dress in n straight line on
the street without the aid of car
track to form on.
Mrs James A. Garfield will be given
a reception by the trustees and presi-
dent of Williams college at Williams
town, Mass, June 3Oth.
1.-The richest man in Oregon began
business by tanning calfskins," says
an exchange. This is reversing the
rule. Most men begin by being tan
ned.
The chap who stole dollar scarf
pin in New York city, and went TO
Sing Sing for five years, figures that
Fred Ward will get sentence of ESQ.,
26l years.
a child who had once seen n grab
bag in church, after the contribution
box had passed by one Sunday, whis-
pcrcd to her mother: "Ilow much did
you gctP Igrabbed u quarter
Now, then, John,' said the restau-
rant, keeper to his boy, bring out
those sandwiches we put up last
winter. Here's a big order come in
TO supply the Sunday-SchoOl picnic"
The fellow who swallowed trade.
dollar the other day is probably the
onl " man in the country who is heart
lily and sincerely glad that the gov
ernment didn't put in the other ID
cents.
"llow did you like my sermon last
Sunday, Miss GuShngtonP" "Per.
fcctly delighted. was transported.
"To visionary lands of paradise,
supposc?' "No sir. To the land OF
dreams
Complaints about the adutcration
of lager beer are quite common, but
the average drinkcr doesn't lose heart
about it aS long as the bartender does
not adultcrato Il schooner with too
much foam
A Texan who has lived for years
among the cowboys says that many of
them are graduates of eastern col
lcgcs. And some persons think col
Icgc education is of no great benefit to
young man.
A rich mscr was offered the plate
on the occasion of charity collection.
II have nothing said he. Then
take something, SIR" said the lady
collector. You know | am begging
for the poor"
Tobacco users get no quarter from
DR., Talmagc, who, in a recent sermon,
declared "lhc broad avenue leading
down to the drunkard's grave and the
drunkard's hell is strewn thick with
tobacco leaves
John Ruskin's latest grievance is
that people write letters to the London
newspapers, signing them with his
name, and initiate his style, but suili-
cicntly mutilatc it to carry the idea
that he is failing in mental power.
a prOfanc man IN town has so much
respect for King James version of the
Old Testament that he proposes TO
continue to swear by it. lie says the
word shoOl is not so soothing to the
pcnt-up feelings rs the old one.
Jersey School Commissioner-Thi
new teacher ain't fit for business.
Citizen What's the matter with him?
ne can SPell Wuth cent cant
spcll?' "lle told my darter to Oday
that 'Skcctcrs' was spelled with an
m
1t is the easiest thing in the world
to gct yourphotoSraph into the albums
OF the community. 1t Is not so much
,hal your irIchuS care Ior your picture
nut because II IS nara ior thGm, beng
humal' l." rciliSc anything lhat can DO
got I"r holl'HT'
Papa, do you thiuk our preacher
writes ms own sermons'' 81 have no
reason To doubt 1t, my son; why should
,ou'' 'NhN, pears to me that if he
wrote en- he'd know enough about
en- to take his eyes of the paper once
III wh''c "hch he leauS'
A Tennessee editor keeps two large
snakes IN glass case in his editorial
'oom. The probabilities are that no
'worc oil on the LIST OF January, and
las taken this precaution to keep the
'eptilcs out OF his boots "a snake in
he glass is more harmful than two
snakes under glass.
A boy at King College school, Lon
Ion, was SO Knocked about by his COM
lanionS that he died Qt spine disease.
The inquest showed that it is the habit
n that institution TO compel the
younger lads after dinner to run be-
wccn rows of their elders in the cor
'idorS and take as much as the fists of
he latter can give them.
"What is your name, little grip"
.skcd the Sunday-school teacher of
lew scholar. "Sheoen Miller, MISS"
vas the answer. "Sheolenp" repeated
he teacher, somewhat surprised;
isn't that rather II queer nameP"
Yes, miss, but before the revised
'ersion came out it wasn't so queer"
Then the teacher fell to thinking OF
piritual matters.
John Wesley had n GOOD sense of
,umor. His servant. Michael Fen.
yick, complained that his name was
lever mentioned in his published iour-
lal Wesley in the next number said.
Left Epworth with great satisfaction,
md obout 1 O'CLOCK n,eacbod ot Clav'
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