The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-07-11

. d,
When to the picnic goes the dude,
And leaves behind the dusty town,
And ON an mt-hIi IN the wood
Quite unsu-pcctingy sits down,
What artist, pencil can portray
The sudden start, the lrcu2cd micn,
The speed with which hc hastcs away
To seek some lone, scquestcrcd scene.
Who is that man whom all respect?
Whom all treat so polite:
They pass him with upiiljcd hats,
And watch him out Of sight.
Hes a base ball pitcher who twirls the sphere
lNot one Of the upper teu'D,
Aud ne has a record of striking out
Twenty consecutive men.
~
! He came to the bower Of her | love,
Twanging his sweet guitar
| He called her in song his snow-whitc dove,
His lily, his fair, bright star.
| While ! sat close by the brown-cyed maid,
And helped her enjoy her serenadc.
She liked it; and did-just $3.50;
| was glad TO hear his lay;
! | ever echoed him, soft and low,
When hc sang what wanted to say.
! Til at last leaned from the window and then,
| thanked him, and asked him to call again,
And then he went away.
##
The Joliet RcroJd thinks that the county
now is full of sweet girl graduates who
have stepped into the world as fulltledged
Young ladies. They talk geology and the
ology, discuss tidal waves and formation of
the earth stratas, etc, refresh us with his
torical references, are familiar with Cicero,
Demosthenes and Plato. They appal Us
with their wisdom and in few years they
will be appalled, at their own ignorance
and find that they possess but very little
practical knowledge and have much TO
learn. Indeed the knowledge acquired in
the school room is only the alphabet as it
were, to general knowledge, While there
are some grains of sense in this, the Rec0rd
man offers no remedy for this state of af-
fairs. He probably has forgotten that in
our girls lie the future hope of the nation,
ard the better and more extended their ed
ucation the more refined, sensible and prac-
teal will they become.
~
Hayer, of the Seneca Record, has had
something to say in an indirect way about
some of the girls of his town for which
they have threatened to step on his neck.
He apologies by saying that if he writes
anything for which he is sorry, he is glad
of it.
! ***
| The following item has been staring the
Gossiper in the face, for 10 these many
weeks 1t has travelled the rounds of the
funny papers, evidently on account of
its truthfulness. 1t is another hit at
that hustle as follows: Newspaper
bustles are now made from back numbers
1t is pretty tough to think that a mans
best journalistic efforts should be thus sat
upon. 1t brushes all the glory out of the
profession, and We're it not that an editor
can feel that he has not only emil ghtened a
woman's mind, but improved her shape, he
might as well throw up the sponge in dis
gust and retire from a world of hustle and
deceit"
1t is said that the solitary young man
who recently graduated from the Odell
schools doomed up among the galaxy Of
young ladies' like a solitaire diamond in a
hotel clerks shirt pin.
| *x*
| Poetry, waXed moustache, mystery
long hair and sweet tenor voice, often
make woman feel as if only sheet of
tissue paper separated her from heaven;
but il is the man with hump on his back, a
wart on the side of his nose and six figures
| to his bank balance that scoops her in, not
withstandlng the efforts made to win her
by the party of the first part.
Miss Belle Thomson Mendoza Girl, is
an insurance agent. She Is also in the
dress.making business, and should be able
10 insure her patrons good fit That's the
sort of a practical belle this age demands
none of your blondined, powdered and per
| fumed beauties, whose highest ambition
is how will they look. 1t is too bad that
Mendoza hasn't more of such girls who are
not afraid of honest toll.
| *
The editor of the Earlville Leader went
out to the fruit farm of +. Best, south of
that village, last Tuesday and describes
the event in the following beautiful aud
appropriate terms: If the privilege of
getting fill OF strawberries is anything,
we surely were repaired" Now, the ques-
ton is, what part of him needed repairing:
Probably his ideas.
-
Armstrong; Necs says that there are
about 60 licensed attorneys in this city and
that 40 of them practice at the bar. The
statement Is somewhat indefinite and mis-.
leading. They all practice at the bar and