Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1885-09-19
WHY HE WAS BOUNCED.

goods and ribbons? ?" inquired Mr.
Nathan Waltrous, senior member of
the retail firm of Waltrous & McGill,
of Houston, Texas. The party addressed
was ford young man with ford
nose, forid moustache, and ford hair
He was in short quite Florida youth,
and his name was Theopolis Duggan.
al reckon SO" he replied.
"Can you be suave?"
(Which p
"Can you support becoming address
in the presence of ladies-politeness,
suavity, you know ?"
ooh, yes" answered Duggan, "in the
last place worked the boys all said l
was the suavest man in the troupe, and
a rustler among customers"
"What business was it ?"
"Pumps-wooden and iron pumps
and hydraulic rams"
"Quite a different line from dress
goods and ribbons"
"Well, yes, but l amt afeared to
tackle 'em."
Mr.. Waltrous gave him trial. The
boys in the store labeled him pumps"
from the first moment of his initiation
into the dress goods and ribbon depart
ment. The second day petite brunette
inquired for some Chicken down"
nuns yelling. Pumps commenced to
sweat.
"What color is it? ?" he blurted out.
The girl only rewarded him with a
stony stare. Pumps rushed off after q
new stock of information and inquired !;
as this a provision store or butcher
shop? :, 80.
pound salesman.
Because there's a gal down there
by the show case who want some
chicken down."
The one hundred and fifteen pounds
Of pure and unadulterated suavity
waited upon her.
"Show me some elephants breath
cashmere" said an elderly lady in gold
bowed spectacles.
Pumps dropped roll of paper cam
brio and again started down the road
after some more information.
whats elephants breath ?" he
gasped. Hanged if l amt thinkin'
I've struck menagerie."
cts shade of wooden goods" MUIR
INJURED another salesman, moving up
towards the elderly lady and selling
her large bill.
"Bet your boots I'll catch on" said
Pumps, staggering before the glass
where ladies try on bonnets and hats.
Another young lady interviewed
Pumps in the afternoon and said:
"You know soutache on gray velvet
is considered very chic"
at is Just the chickiest thing agoin',"
observed Pumps.
The young lady looked grieved.
"Show me some giraffe colored cash.
mere" she said quietly.
"Another animal wanted" muttered
Pumps, breathlessly, as he reached the
other end of the store. He, of course,
lost the sale.
"Show me some crinolettes," demand
ed spare woman with cast in her
eye. Pumps was nonplussed.
IF | was you | wouldn't get a
crinolette," he ventured.
"You Wouldn't" sneered the lady.
"Not at this season of the year. I'd
get pair of striped stocking and a
poke bonnet"
The lady walked out.
"What did she want" inquired Mr..
Waltrous, who had kept his eagle eye
on the proceedings.
"She has hankerin' after crino-
lette," said Pumps, "aud | don't think
we have them in stock"
"These are crinolettes," said Mr.
Waltrous, sternly, and pointing to a
pile Of garments.
"Them :! Why | took them for base
ball Masks" said Pumps.
you will have to do better Than
this" said Mr.. Waltrous, impressively,
"There is woman up at the front
end who wants some Apollonaris.-
Hadn't better go out and get her a
glass of settler p
Some more condensed suavity waited
on the lady and sold her polonaise, a
molier waistcoat, an ostrich feather fan
and ten yards of plum colored velveteen.
Pumps was paralyzed.
"You fellers have got the thing down
middlin' fine" he said, pulling his yer.
million moustache before the mirror.
Evidently you have considerable to
learn IN this business" said the head
salesman to Pumps.
"All | ask is a fair show for my
money" returned Pumps. dejectedly.
"What would you do if lady were
to inquire for an imported jersey ?"
What are you giving us?" whined
Pumps This is no stock yard or
dairy farm"
"That, my dear friend" said the
head salesman, sis a short jacket in
PRODUCED into this country by Mrs.
Langtry. What if she should inquire
for tournure ?"
"Me-oh I'd
chat will do" shouted Mr.. Wal
trous, bobbing up from behind a bale
If sheeting you can just tournure
back on this establishment, and hunt
work in lumber yard. "-Isras SIT
ings-
HAY FEVER is a type of catarrah hay
ing peculiar symptoms. 1t is attended
by an innamed condition of the lining