Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-01-31

Some suggcstions as to How Ii Can
be Improved.


be Improved.
SOCIETY LADY SPEAKS OF THE Ef-
FORTS MADE TO INTRODUCE AN OASIS IN THE
CONVERSATIONAL DESERT OF sOCIETY-wHY
PATENT CONVERSATIONS WERE A FAILURE
THE PLAN Now PROPOSED OF ORGANIZING A
SOCIETY FOR MUTUAL IMPROVEMENT IN CON.
vERsATIoN
''Of course conversation in society Is common
place. very often vapid and frequently stupid.
The same tiresUme. tread-mll Is followed year
after year, aud, l might say, generation after
generation, only varied perhaps. by the changes
in colloquisms and forms OF expression" This
criticism, or SANDER upon modern society, which
ever it may be termed, was uttered by lady,
and The STAR man, as he listened noticed that
the tone OF voice was as evenly medulated as II
the weather or some equally unexciting topic
was under discussion. The judgment ex-
pressed was evidently founded upon expert
ence. As the few friends who had Just risen
from dinner settled into easy chairs to enjoy the
repOse which waits upon clear conscience and
good digestion, no one seemed Inclined to con-
test the opinion advanced, The conversational
resources of modern society might be capable of
defense, but the good Datured ac1uiesence
which is one of the results Of the after dinner
II
which brilliant woman caneyert are not among
the causes which provoke controversy, SO the
talk proceeded in the nature of a mouologue.
1t is perfectly ridiculous to speak Of CONVEX
satiOn in society far as the play of mind
upon mind is concerned. 1t does not exist
There is talk. a sort OF mechanical flow of words
which means nothing or any thing. and which Is
uttered with no Intention of expressing any
ideas. 1t Is expected that people will make use
of language when they enter house when
nat rlru NH
guests in the pauSes of the dance, and at the
refreshmeDt table, and in consequence Ian
guage is used. The usages OF polite society re-
qHire that the vocal organs, with which nature
has endowed us shall be used, and so they are
employed in utterng words. Society may be
aware OF the physiological fact that human
beings have brains, but there seems to be no
place in its economy for their exercise at least
as one OF the means OF social enjoyment. How
ever. we all know that they exist and the peo-
pie that one meets In society are endowed with
brains and know how to use them In other
spheres l propose that we Institute n reform
and introduce brains into the conversational
desert of modern society"
PATENT CONTRIBUTIONS AND THEIR Use
But howl" exclaimed chorus of drowsy
but interested voices.
IL remember some years ago" continued the
hostess. apparently allowing the rather camor-
Gus interr0Gatiye to be engulfed in the onward
flow OF the current of her talk that it was sur-
gested that the ladies. who are of course the
natural leaders III society. arrange series of
Skeleton conversations upon current topics for
private circulation only. With these aids con-
YerSatlOn cuu.l be held and conducted to a sue
cessfui and safe conclusion without any mental
effort whatever. and at the same time brilliant
little t0n R1ots could be introduced witty sal
lies could be uttered. historical and classical al
lusi0ns c0ud lie made The object sought-to
relieve the barreDness and trvialty of society
taik-wOuld thus he gained and things could 20
on In their amending round with added luster
ana brllliancy. Well, this plan must say prom
lsed We'll anu IN practice it worked very well
indeed The conversational forms were pre-
pared ny competent persons and were really
very brilliant productions. and you don't know
now interesting 1t was To find out how nicely
the remarks OF one person fitted in with those of
another All that you needed was the last word
l believe persons on the stage call it the cue
and Willie the preceding sentences were being
uttered you could give your entire attention to
dress, carry on Irritation or lust not think at
ali. linen when the cue word was uttered the
appropriate response would flow forth almost
mechanically. and sometimes it would be the
most brilliant thing Imaginable"
Tell Us some OF the brilliant f1,Ots" asked The
now thoroughly interested listeners.
SAMPLE SOCIETY wrTTIcISN.
II suppose that they will sound fiat to YOU.
under these circumstances" was the response.
but remember one, The gentleman in the
course of the conversation good naturedIy
rallies the lady on caring nothing for science or
philosophy, but only for literature PEI. Sc She
fePi!eS that she certainly did care more about
literature per So than about science pn.6yiad"
Very good, indeed" exclaimed the listeners
with great uaanimity, interrupting the furthe
narration OF the bright features of the patent
conversations; but pray, go on and tell US how
it all ended
LODI roth
suppose that bright things do sound differently
at different times. At any rate to proceed
with my story, We had to abandon our conyersa-
TONS. because some would persist in using them
AFTER the regular season was over, during the
summer at watering places, &c. and OF course
they we're not always appropriate. Then they
would carry them over from one season to
another. and that made it rather awkward. |
suppose it was force of habit New people
coming in, who did rot understand would often
wreck the logical sequence of the questions
ana answers and Interfere with their rythmiea
now, so to speak. Then people got into the
habit of being inattentye while eonversing and
the most iudicrons mistakes would arise, and
so altogether the system gradually fell into dis
use This artificial aid to conversation having
been discarded. society talk Was reduced to its
pfmeFhl elements, as it We're. and the present
condition is the result. But l have an idea
that"
''Oh, what is it?" exclaimed everybody in
NEW TALKING SYSTEM
lit is very simple one indeed. responded
the lady, with the serene confidence Of an in
ventor. ut may be called the natural method,
as they say abont the stndy of modern Ian
guages- There is to be nothing formal. and
ample scope is to be left for the play of the con-
versational ability of each individual pro-
pose 10 form society, or If you please, a class,
composed OF the leading ladies in society. We
VIII meet and discuss the usual topics which
form the staple OF conversation on social occa-
sions- You know that these topics are the
same from one year TO another, and may be
CLASSIFIED In general way as follows: Literary,
political and social. The first includes COM
ineBts on the articles and continued stories In
the current literature Of the day. Also the new
novels and other publications which excite
general attention. The second division Is more
complex. but for general purposes it comprises
the legislation before Congress, especially that
which affects the army and the navy Special
lists may take wider range. Then the social.
oil course, includes the gossip about the balls
ana receptions past and to come, and the incl
dents connected with them, besides personal
matters, the extent nd manner Of treatment in
this instance being left by necessity entirely to
the Judgment OF each Individual. Now my idea is
simply this Have all the ladies meet together and
Introduce these subjects one after the other A
general expression of views will follow from