davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-07-14
Nervous DebIiitated Men

You are allowed a free trial Of thirty days OF the
use of DR.. Dyes Celebrated Voltaic Belt with
Electric Suspensory Appliances, for the speedy
relief and permanent cure of Nervous Debility,
loss of vitality and Manhood, and all kindred
troubles. Also, for many other diseases. Com
plete restoration TO health vigor and manhood
guaranteed. No risk Is incurred. illustrated
mailed free by addressing yoltaic Belt Co, Mar.
shall, Mich.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-07-14

PEOPLE really should not be so hard on
millionaires when it is remembered that
Stephen Girard, Cornelius Vanderbilt, Johns
Hopkins and Asa Packer all founded great
colleges with their wealth.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-07-14
SPECIAL NOTICES.

Persons Who are Past Fifty win find Dr. Ken
nedy's Favorite Remedy just about the medi.
cine they need when they need a Medicine at ALL
The ten years which follow that age are full of
dangers which do not threaten younger men
and women. This preparation gives tone to the
system, greatly eNpels Impurities and prevents
the outcropping of diseases the seeds of which
may have been sown in earlier life. Why not
live ont tall your days I'm health and strength.
llyl0.Imd&W
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-07-14

Five years ago my life was dread all the time
from Heart Disease, since using DIR. GRAVES
HEART REGULATOR the English language
would fail me in telling the good received."-
Kate Musgroye, Coloma, Ind. sl.O0 per bottle at
druggists.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-07-14
More Modest and More Healthful

FROM the fittsDurg Dispatch
Within the past year or two woman's dress
has been nearer modesty and hesllhfulness
than ever before.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1885-07-14
1ILY INTELLICENCER.
5NfECCT0ENcER BUILDING,
.. w. CORNER CENTRE SQUARE,
'' LANCASTER, PA.

1DA1kX-7xn Gents Week Five Dollars a
S Yenr or Fyffy Gents a Month. Postage Free.
ADYERTISEMENTsy from Ten 10 Eyny Cents
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

What is the best covering for the
headp demands Western journal. Hair
isn't bad.-N. Z. Herald.
If we are to get rid of crankism, we
must give less notoriety to cranks.-
Burlington Free Press.
ii understand, Mr.. Einstein, your
son Marcus is stage struck" Stage
struck All, no; he was yust run ofer
himself NIT dray. y."-ErchGnge.
If there is anything above ground
more thoroughly permeated with bliss
than woman with new gown it is o
boy who has just learned to whistle.
"A young man in Massachusetts has
adopted whistling for q profession.
When he gets married, and the bills
begin to come in, he will have lots OF
chance for practice. --BarIingto1 Free
Press. 4aa
When you hire servant in Mexico
it is with the understanding that her
entire family live with you. In this
country there is no understanding, but
the result is the same Buffalo EzpTess.
in the matter of speed the bicycle
ranks seventh--the balloon, the loco
motive and trotting, pacing and running
horses having faster records. 1t ranks
seventh because a lie will travel faster
than any of them Chicago journal.
1t Is all the fashion now to use little
gold mice for shoe fastenings. Gentle
men who are aware of this fact can in
fuse life into dull social assemblies by
informing some healthy young lady that
there are dozen mice under her chair.
Burlington Hat0keye.
"A man named Clews Is wanted in
the West for murder. He will not long
escape the vigilance Of the detectives.
There never was mysterious murder
committed that the detectives didn't
find dozen clews before sundown tht
next day.--NorristoDs Herald.
Governor Adams, of Nevada, hap
pened to overhaul an old coat the othel
day and found $500 in one of tn,
pockets. He had forgotten all abou
the money. From the fact that Gov
ernor Adams could lose $500 withou
missing it, we infer that he is an editor
Troy Times.
Prof r. A. Proctor says that thi
earth is to-day just as likely to quak
and overthrow cities and towns as it ha
been at any time since man existed
You are right, Professor; but does
not occur to you that it is just as ur
likely to do so.--BOSt0YI Post.
What is the breed of your calf?
said a would-be buyer to farmer
s'Well,n said the farmer, ''all / kno'
about tits that its father gored justiC
of the peace to death, tossed a boo
agent into the fence corner, and stoo
a lightning-rod man on his head, an
his mother chased a female lecture
two miles; and If that amt bree
enough to ask four dollars on 70
needn't take him. IN z. IradepeBdesl
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

Professor Agassiz's gift to Harvard
College during the last thirteen years
amount to more than $500,000.
The Missouri Legislature has passed
a law providing for the teaching in pub
lie schools of the effects of alcohol and
narcotics on the human system.-St.
Louis Post. .-.-..a ..- ...
"A favorite copy set by writing
teachers for their pupils is the follow
ing, because it contains every letter of
the alphabet "a quick brown fox
jumps over the lazy dog" <
1t is stated that the average salary
of the Congregational ministers of Con-
necticut is about $1,000. The lowest is
about $500 and the highest $4,000.
Only about fifty receive as much as
$2,000.-N 7. Examiner.
The Archbishop of Canterbury said.
in a recent address, that, while seien-
fists were great sticklers for revealed
knowledge or proven facts only, they
were forever prophesying the end of the
Church. He begged them, therefore,
to be consistent and prophcsy only what
they had found out.
Ohio, with thirty-five colleges, has
more than any other State In the Union.
New York and Indiana have twenty-five
each. Pennsylvania has twenty-six,
Michigan nine and Massachusetts, seven.
The Bay States seven colleges have a
combined income of 1925, ,458 per annum
more than have Ohio's twenty-six.--
Cleveland Leader. IS
"A Boston congregation was mystic.
riOusly seized with paroxysm OF un-
controllable sneezing in the midst of
service of song. The preacher, the
choir, and the congregation all sneezed
in chorus. An investigation showed a
cargo of pepper in the cellar, which had
been rented to wholesale grocer. =
Boston Journal
The American School of Classical
Studies at Athens, Greece, was estab-
lished three years ago for the prosecu-
ton of classical study and archaologic-
al investigation, similar in scope to the
French and German schools already
there. The latter are upon an endowed
basis and have, therefore, permanent
directors. The American school has as
yet no endowment, and the directors are
changed annually.-M. Y. sam.
The Presbyterian mentions, as a
satisfactory way of paying pastors
salary the plan followed by the Presby-
terian Church in Palmyra, Mo. On the
| first day of each month the pastor
draws his check upon the bank for his
monthly salary in advance and the
bank regularly honors the check and
charges it up to the deacons, who are
personally responsible for the salary.
Thus no delay or default in the payment
| of the subscriptions can affect the
pastor. This is at least business-like.
and relieves the pastor of much anxiety
and needless embarrassment.- !.
! Examiner.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
A GLORIOUS SIGHT.

The Manner In Which the Native New
foundiand Deer Migrate From One POr-
tion of the Island to Another.
The native Newfoundland deer is the
caribou of reindeer, specimen superior
to those of Lapland or Norway, and
sometimes weighing as much as six
hundred pounds. These deer inhabit
the interior of the island, not in hun
dreds but in thousands; some who have
seen their armies in the marching season
think in hundreds of thousands. The
interior being wilderness, they find
no interruption save now and again
once in fifty years-when an explorer
pushes his way across the region which
through the summer they make their
home. The marching time of the herds
is as regular as the seasons. When
snow covers the ground in the north
western portion of the island they turn
their faces toward the south, and by
steady marches along the leads, reach
the southwestern or less severe part OF
the island, where through the winter
months they can get browse and lichens.
Some of those who have been camped
near the main lead in the marching
time have left on record that the deer
do not move in very large bodies, for
that would prevent them from grazing
| freely, but that they march in herds Of
from twenty to q couple of hundred,
| that one such body is connected with
another by means of a sort of picket
and that each detachment is led by q
tall stag. What glorious sight for the
huntsman from his eminence to see
body after body of these bright-eyed
nimble-footed animals, bending theil
course in true. parallel lines, either to.
ward the north or. the south with the
regularity and the order of masses ot
soldiers! Such sight has often beer
seen.--Forest and Stream.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
MI. ------,
Night City Editor,
Give US q puff.

Mr.. Conant'S suspicious were at once
aroused by this remarkable superscrip-
ion. Could it be that the man who
edited the city news was in collusion
with some outsider who was sending
him "a first-rate notice" for insertion
in the news columns, smuggling it in
without paying duty at the advertising
desk? This was worthy of immediate
investigation. He Immediately sent for
the man to whom the package was adj
dressed and closely scanned his counte-
nance while the latter opened the en-
velope.
. And then the nature of the atrocious
attempt to tamper with the press was
made manifest. The contents were
two fragrant cigars, wrapped in a piece
of paper, on which were hastily scrawled
the same words that appeared on the
envelope-''Give us puff 1t was
signed with the initials of d. O'C.
Townley, writer (since dead) who
was at that time attached to the staff OF
the Times. The laugh that followed
was at Mr.. Conant's expense.
Well" he said, joining in the gen.
eral hilarity, 81 think that is worth your
notice." and lighting one of the cigars
which was presented to him by the blue
pencil man of the City Room, he re-
sumed his duties at his desk.
Shortly afterward, entering the room
where the sub-editor was vigorously en-
gagged in "boiling'' copy, apparently
deriving much aid and comfort in the
operation from the cigar which he was
silently putting while the smoke wreaths
curled above his head, like the steam
from any other boiler. Mr.. Conant said
"Well, l see that is sent up"
''Eh? what is?' asked the other.
Why" said Mr. Conant, pointing tc
the fragrant clouds Of tobacco smoke
that floated overhead. ''that is. That il
scent up" The joke was fragrant
though timely, and to the man who. fol-
the moment, had rested under the fain
cloud of suspicion that was so speedily
dispelled. it has been fragrant memory
ever since.-N. Y Tribune.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
A QUIET MANS JOKE.
Amusing Incident of S. S. Conant's Expert
ence on "The Times" Recalled.


When Stillman S. Conant was man
aging editor of theIimes; a short time
prior to the mysterious death of its
chief editor, Henry J. Raymond. his
first name was regarded as by no means
misnomer. He was the mildest-man-
nered managing editor that ever ordered
a two-column article to be cut down to
a paragraph. But quiet as his general
demeanor was, he held the reins firmly
and sharply curbed any tendency to un-
due friskiness on the part of the editOri-
al team that he was driving. He could,
however, take joke and match it with
another.
One cold night in the winter of 1869 the
Dox in which copy for the editor was
sent up stairs from the publication Of
fee suddenly shot up to the editorial
rooms, and a sharp ring Of the bell an
nounced that it had arrived with some
thing in it. Mr.. Conant stepped to the
box and took out package. somewhat
bulky, that looked as if it might con-
tain something intended for publication.
Looking at it closely he read these
words on the envelope:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
ISLE OF JERSEY.
The Home of the Thoroughbred Milk Pro.
ducing Animal.


The Island of Jersey contains less
than forty-six square miles, or about
$4,000 acres, and yet, according to the
census report, it supports over $4,000
head of cattle, besides some 10000 peo-
pie. There are annually exported from
the island over 1900 head. Thus the
island supports two persons to every
acre and one COW to every two acres,
and exports one animal to every ten
acres; and as Mr.. Eugene j. Arnold
justly says in Belts Messenger, the sys-
tenn that will enable Jersey to do this
must be worth considering by the peo-
pie of other countries. He thinks the
Jersey COW has had much to do in en-
abling these favorable results to be ac-
complished. She is not bred to be
eaten; she is too valuable as butter
machine. Then why should she be
larger? Where $4,000 cattle are kept
on six miles square and where rent
averages over forty-three dollars per
acre; where the farms are smaller than
anywhere else in the world, every farmer
works with his own hands, and instead
of the island being eaten up with cows,
and the farmers beggars, the whole
island is little garden, thickly strewn
with comfortable, well-to-do houses and
homesteads ease and comfort are
everywhere, poverty and want unknown.
He does not claim that this is all the
produce of the cows but that tho
farmers who have so close fight and
are so successful must understand their
business, and do not keep 1920 cows at
a loss. All the beef for the people is
imported from France and Spain. With
1920 cattle they do not raise single
bullock nor make single pound of
cheese. The cows are reared and used
for the production of butter, and that
alone. The Jersey will yield more but
ter in proportion to her size and the
amount of food consumed than any 9TH
er breed whatsoever. She rarely ex-
ceeds 800 pounds and scarcely averages
700, and yet plenty of cows are to be
found that yearly make more than half
| their weight in butter. She comes into
milk early, rarely past two years; often
before; gives richer milk, makes higher
| favored butter, is docile and easily man
| aged even by children; and, lastly, she
| is equally at home in hot or cold wealth
er. He says the Jerseyman would be
hard-pressed to get along without his
cow, and challenges the world to pro-
duce her equal There is no doubt but
much of the prosperity of Jersey for sew
eral years has been largely due to the
demand in other countries for the sur.
| plus cows of the island, and the very
high prices that have been paid for those
1900 head exported every year.-Ruraj
| NelC Yorker.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
"a TRAGEDY"
With a Moral.

With Moral.
This is A poem on Spring so fair
~ warbling birds and bamY air,
~ cooling breezes, babbliAg brooks,
~ beauty love and coy hooks.
This is the "fiend" with struggling hair,
cheek monumental and courage rare;
who wrote the ''pOme on Spring, SO fair "
of whispering breeZes, balmy air,
Iowing herds and gurgling brooks;
The same we read about in books.
This is the Editor" filled with care,
Hungry for more substantial fare
Than poems on Spring-his back most bare
Through need of better clothes to wear,
who seized the "fiend' with lengthy hair
That wrote the poem on Spring, so fair,
Nor stopped to question why or where,
But hurled him headlong down the stair.
MORAL.
Poets! take warning from this rhyme.
And if you wish to save much time
And trouble, keep your poems all,
AMI when the evening shadows fall
lust build fire in the stove,
Then take your poems on Spring, and love-
And burn them all-don't spare one line
Ye gods! twould be an act divine.
-Teras Siftings.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
BELLEVUE. La. THURSDAY APRIL 1885,

I 1u6l Te DTOdu eHOuSH III all COuf
science, y whispers Mrs. Van Highton
behind her fan, but she adds aloud
''Do not permit it, my dear Mrs. New
rich! A man who is so shining an orna-
ment to society must not hide his light.
He will never be permitted to do so.
You and your husband must consent to
keep the place Nature and Fortune have
assigned you as social leaders," $50
ciety here must be on low plane in.
deed to even admit such a vulgar pain
of parvenues, y she added beneath her
breath.
Mrs. Van Highton accompanies hen
guest to the door and gives her part-
ing kiss. As Mrs. Newrich drives
away, Mrs. Van Highton stamps her
tiny feet and shakes her pretty head
until its golden puffs and waves seem
to rise in mutiny. Then clinching her
small. white, jeweled hands, she says.
bitterly: ''Dean Swift was, indeed,
right, in declaring that the Lord shows
His small respect for money by the
people he gives it to. Because my hus-
band owes Uriah Newrich sum larger
than he can ever pay, | must fawn
around that ill-bred, low-born, ignorant
woman! She possess the finest house
and equipage in town! She have SER
wants in livery and set up a coat-of-
arms! (Her crest should be a spade
rampant ON washboard.) She have
rare books when she can barely read!
She own art treasures whose names
even she can not pronounce! She enjoy
unbounded luxury, ease and leisure
which she can turn to no good account!
While |, born and bred to these things,
must soon lose them all. What irony of
fate!" .
And Mrs. Newrich, as her ponderous
form sinks back amid the velvet cush-
ions of her luxurious carriage, thus
soliloquizes:
This young woman puts on precious
high-and-mighty airs. A body d think
from her dainty dress and condescend-
ing manner that she was the Queen of
Sheba, right from the East, that it was
her husbin' who was railroad king in
std % mine!
"Uriah says she piles her palaver on
too thick, and Serafny thinks she's al
lers kinder larfin' at US inside. But I
don't believe I'm a person anybody
would larf at! To be sure, Ifwasn't
brought up in perlite society, but I'm
in it now, and what's more, I'm at the
head on it. Folks is jest on their knees
to me. I've spent a year abroad, and
as for cultur, I've read every book Mrs.
Emma D. E. N. Southworth ever writ.
'.AH the time Mrs. Van Highton was
a-gushin' over me. was a-takin' sur
vey of things and a-sayin' to myself: This
house and all these fine ,fixin's is mort
gagged to Uriah Newrich. The mort
gage is eenamost out, it can't be paid,
and here is the incest kind of weddin'
present for our Sera6ny!
Il don't s'pose | orter rejoice in no.
body's calamerty, but them Van High
tons has held their heads altogether toe
high, and the Scriptur says: Pride goeth
afore destruction, and a naughty sperit
afore fall - Frances II. Shas0, IN
Boston transcript.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16

The latest novelty is ginger Ice
cream, in which the heat of the ginger
counteracts the thill of the cream, and
the frigidity of the cream nullifes the
fire of the ginger, producing happy
medium most gratifying to the epicu-
rean palate. e.-Newton ~. J. Register.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16

Professor Ely, of John Hopkins
University, predicts that we are, Just
entering upon an era of internal and
domestic warfare such as has never been
seen and the end of which only the
Almighty can foretell. ~ Y. Sun
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16
LONGEVITY.
The Period and the Cil cumstances Attend
ing the Decline of Human Vitality.

The Period and the Gin cumstances Attend.
ing the Decline of Human Vitality.
The human system IS so arranged
and designed that after the age of ma.
turity the decline then comm ences:
then downward tendency gradually
takes place. The imagination and rea-
son then becomes weaker, and the
physical powers are slower and more
irregular and imperfect in their action.
In the former is observed depression
of the mental powers in the eoncen-
trating or abstracting of thought. In
the latter the nutritite operations are no
longer able to repair the waste of the
body. At that time external impress
sions exert diminished influence, and
with the failure of perception the pow
ers of memory decline, the objects of
early life being recollected last, while
those of later time fit away like sun
beams in the shade. Then the brain is
less capable of receiving impressions,
because the organs of sense fail to dis
charge their functions. The sight be-
comes misty, the hearing dull; there is
an indisposition for exertion, a desire
for repose. The mortality in towns is
greater than in the country. Of both
sexes % per cent. die before they are |
year old. and 81 per cent. before they
are years old. Male infants are more
liable to die Immediately after birth
than females. Nine-twentieths of the
whole number die before they are Is
years. of age The mortality among
girls increases between IA and IS, and
among men between q and 26. AT
% years half the-5irths are dead. The
mean life is about 80 years. The ca
pacity of the skull in the female is less;
the body is longer; the lower extrem-
tiles shorter; the skin thinner and more
translucent. The strength of the fe-
male to that of the male is as 16 TO 26,
Her muscles contract easier and are
more easily wearied. Her reasoning
powers are less vigorous. but her SEN
sations are more acute and her knowl.
edge more intuitive and instructive.
Phrenology shows her moral over her
intellectual nature. Her constancy,
warmth of affections and attachments
are our solace, our trust and confide nee
| in gloom and misfortune. RhilddelphiC
Call.
A teacher, speaking before the
| Rhode Island Institute of Instruction
recommended the Introduction O
healthful story-books as an antidott
against the evil of fash literature. Thii
appears to be very sensible sugges
ton. The doctors are continually find
ing new virtues in innoculation as
means for overcoming certain kinds o
disease of the flesh, and, reasoning b,
analogy, the Rhode Island teacher
prescription for the mental and mora
disease, propagated by baneful litera
ture designed for the young, ought to b
effective Current.
/ -~~-e-@~--------
The Indianapolis street-car com
/ panies have established four places Il
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16

-Thirty-seven railroads, embracing
eleven thousand miles. or nearly one
tenth of the mileage of. the country,
were taken in charge by receivers last
year. Chicago Times.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-16

The Indianapolis street-car COM
panies have established four places in
the city where drivers and conductors
are furnished hot coffee free of charge.
--- Indianapolis Journal.