The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1885-07-31


~ see the French have taken UNI
bragg, said old Costing. us he read the
paper to his wife. ''More fools the
Chinese for not terrifying it better,
said Mrs. Gosling --iroUiience 7cie-
gram.
A West Newbury man has patented
now fire-kindler, but W. doubt il it Is
any Improvement on an obcdient and
self-sacriiicing woman, who with o
quarter OF an old newspaper and o
couple OF corn-cobs, starts tho matu-
final flame.
"What are you doing thereP" asked
the foreman of tho printers devil.
"Why, ! am distributing handful of
'pr found on the galley" replied the
imp. "Pi!' vociferaled the foreman.
That's a new poem by Walt Whit
man. "--Drake's 7rareier'S Nogasiac.
Doctor--Your wife is in very crit
ical state. and should recommend
you to call in some specialist TO con-
suit on the ease. observation-disclosures,
you see. doctor. was right again!
told my wife long ago she ought to get
proper medical advice, but she always
thought you might DO oilendedw--
--Fiiegende Butter.
"Whewr" exclaimed Crimsonbcak,
surprised on entering his sleeping
apartments To find his wife waiting for
him the other morning Mt 2 O'Clock,
''thOse stairs almost take my breath
away" "Well, wish they would, I"
replied his displeased wife, catching
the odor Of the club-man's evening
beverage. - Yonkers Statesman.
what are you going to do when
you grow up, il you don't know how
to cipher" asked an Austin school
teacher OF rather slow boy. 81 am
going to be school teacher, and make
the boys do all the ciphcring." was the
impudent reply. The next thing that
boy had to sigh for was soft cushion
on the bench. - 7eras SDlingS.
"Never 60 back" advises writer;
"what you attempt, do with all your
strength" How about man who
has attempted TO catch train. but
failed? Is he never TO 90 backp Must
he wait, no matter how long. for the
next onep All, we fear that abstract
philosophy is scarcely applicable to the
events Of our concrete existence.
ell Citizen.
Ross Browne, the traveller, in describ-
ing Smyrna, remarks that he saw but
one person there who seemed TO be do
ing anything, and he was falling from
the top of house. Bob Mallory, OF
Kentucky, when in Congress, was
once asked if New Castle, tho county
seat Of Henry, in his district, was I'M
proving. He replied that it was-a
house had burned down there recent
ly.
There is a delicious uncertainty
about the unframed mind OF child.
1t can never be accurately placed; no
one can tell what convOlution of the
brain will spontaneously appear on the
surface. There had been some little
difficulty in Installing into the mind OF
q youngster the word "odd." lie in.
sisted on pronOuncing il us lode" to q
lost dollar, or rs "owed' his last dol.
lar.
A steady working mechanic of Stock,
ton, Cal, was seized with the humble
| amDitlon OF becoming Policeman,
lie got the place, took to drink. and
died in few days rs the result OF dis,
sipation. The difference between 8
California and New York policeman
seems to be that one gets drunk and
dies and the other gets drunk and
some one else dies. - Mitmfeiphi0
Times.
AS a Snowman Mr.. Forepaugh is IN
undoubted success, and as II spectacu
lar affair his display professions TO hin
credit; but, somehow, we fail TO re-
member just where history records the
fact that Roman virgins used to carry
umbrellas while driving their chariot'
on the Appian Way. Col. Forepaugl
ought to have little chat with Henry
Irving on the subject OF attention to
details. Washington Star.