Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-15
BRIGHT BITS.

AN exchange asks why 30 many editors are
bow-legged. Ips because the editorial stan
is 50 weak and unreliable.-Da ns0ilie Breeze.
A CORRESPONDENT asks; ''Do poets ever
commit suicidc?" II they do. 1t doesn't kill
them Judging from thu oyerstocked market.
NorTistO'on Berald.
SOME OF the S. J. T.-ls76-X Democrats
are exhibiting Sigh: symptoms of distress be-
cause Cleveland passed through Iunkers the
other day without stopping to call on the
sage.-Cfncinn0ti Times star.
NAUTICAL HUSBAND dosiuglyl-"Oh, I'm
the matnstay of the family" Wife-"Yes,
boy from experience)-"And the spanker,
too, mammal Worcester GdseSe.
BoTH men and women are fond Of theatre
going in the country. The women like to go
to the society plays to see how the actresses
dress, and the men to the variety plays to see
how they don't dress boston Courier.
BIT Of nonsense all the way from Ger
many: Carl-'Mother, in the milk bucket
was dead mousse" Mother-''WeH, has
thou 1t thereOut taken?" Carl-NO, I have
the cet therein thrown. -" Translated from
OIn@5bus.
TOLD Just az it happened: very smart
boy WAS seated alonRsIde the driver OF a belt
line car recently, and after making numerous
Inquiries as To the drivers age, birth place.
family and circumstances, he asked: ''You
haye pretty long hours, don't your The
driver responded: Eyes; sometimes from ;
q CLOCK IN the morning Jlll i20clOck NJ night. -
"A H. remarked the smart boy, land can't
yOu find anything to do the rest of the timer"
BWfdJo Courier.
''DIs preachin' business is all a fraud" ex-
claimed old Isom the other day when he mot
the Secretary of state on the street. "Why
do you think so?' asked the high State OIL
cial. "Wall, yer see. while was a sinner nv
wife was alters hankern' arter sciety ob de
preachers. DIS fack struck me. an pined
de church AM gun ter preach" What ef-
feet did it haye?' Had dis effect. sab: Nv
wife run away with a Niger what had ils
come out'en penitentiary.-A rbd0S010 TrdU-
eLer.
''NCw, you tell me have a fair memory, a
great capacity for learning languages. - large
hump of yeneratlon. snd a well-deyeloped
head generality
you have" SAID the phrenologist.
lie there anything" asked the man under
examination, in the exuberanCe of his ioy
that my head needs to make it absolutely
.perfect?"
Eyes"
''What is it, pray?" asked the man.
"A shampoo "-Bar6ers' Gdsette
WAITING wIFR-"Why, Henry, how strange
you look and act. What in the world is the
matter?"
Early husband tangrily)-"Nothing' the
matter with me-"
Waiting wfe-"But there must be. Have
| You been drinking absinthe?"
Early husband-"Hayeu't been drinking
anything. I'm perfectly SOBER
/
! it. thought there was something very I'M
/ usual about your looks and actions. "-PhilG-
! delDAi0 can.
4 A NEGRO WOMAN. addressing her mistress
/ said:
! WHY dOan yer let me cook morn dOes?"
/ because yOu cook enough"
'tWall, OATS or nice way ter do" she re %
| piled, a. she turned away. Thinks dat I
! amt got nothing to do but to cook fur dis
| Rouse. DOan 'peeE ter think dat Use got err
! big family on myhan's | 'spses tersee white
| wimmen 30 skittish. Whar worked dc las
time l wuz all right De lady wuz sick.'--
ATbdHsalo 7rdCelsr.
TELL ME-, 0 Diogenes." quoth Socrates,
"where have you been that the cheerful rays
/ OF your lantern have not Illumined the cir
/ cumamhient atmosphere of the Acropolis for
/ two or three weeks past?"
I'm sooth," replied the humorous cynic, 81
| have been travehngin New Engl and in search
| OF the meanest man; but ] burned three
| pounds Of tallow dips for naught"
/ Now, Ivy the dog, O Diogenes," cried the
| eruditc philosopher, ''yOu should have trav-
! eled farther west. for had yOu but struck the
/ management Of the ChicHgo base bail club
/ your labor would have been crowned with
| the fullness of success. Chicd9O Ne2cs.