The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1885-11-19
O'HEARNE AND THE PAR
: ROT.
What Brought Sorrow to the Soul Of the
Handsome Property Clerk.


Johnny O'Hearne-he's the little fell
low with the 7x9 countenance that has
charge of the property-room at the
Central station-has been getting into
another pickle. Somebody was heart
less enough to remark that he was
quite fresh, and getting picked now
and then wouldn't hurt him, but that
was spirit of jealousy that ranked in
the persons breast, perhaps because
he wasn't as pretty as John, and it
was just through meanness that the
same party remarked that Johnny had
either been sawed off and hammered
down or was picked before he was
ripe.
But that is neither here nor there;
he's a good, clever fellow, and can take
care of more junk than any two men
in the town. He has a place for every
thing, but the only trouble is he never
puts n there. and the motto, ga place
for everything and everything out
of place, stares visitor in the face
the moment he enters the Sanctum
O'Hearne.
To the uninstructed it is as we'll to
say that it is O'Hearne's business to
take charge of all property. stolen.
found, or taken from prisoners, which
falls into the hands of the police. He
had gotten along all right with these
goods until Friday last. when the de-
tectives captured very fine parrot
which had been stolen from q lady in
the city, and this, like all other prop
erty recovered, they turned over to
Mr.. O'Hearne until its ownership
should be determined.
The trial came up on Saturday, and
O'Hearne and the other parrot were in
court. Judge Davey said he didn't
think he could try the case that day,
whereupon the little property clerk
jumped to his feet and Said:
Say, judge, just minute; I'd ask
your honor if the milk of human kind
ness which circulates in your manly
bosom has not all curdled and been
churned into oleomargarine to have
that bird removed from the station"
'.Send for the Black Maria" sang
out the parrot, which. by the way, was
| q most fluent talker.
There he goes, judge. That's him.
He's talker, and don't you forget it.
| He talks from his bill to his tail feath-
ers, aud it amt no use to tell him to
| shut up. He understands everything
but that, and it would take that pile
driver on Canal street to make him
tumble. Why, Judge, | was talking to
| friend of mine this morning, a lady,
by the way, aud l hai just told her
how hard 1 had to work. when this
beastly bird cried out: oh. you give
me q pain in my suspendersi' How's
| that for bird, judge? And Ill bet
| two to one he never wore suspenders
| in his life; why, he amt even got pants
| ON. And then can't even come into
the room but what he shoots it to me
with All. there! just my size,' or some
! thing like that.
Atthis juncture the bird, which had
evidently been associating with some
of the base ball fraternity, cooked his
head on one side and said:
+ s.That will do; three strikes and
outr'
..Order in COURT shouted Judge
Davey, and Court Officer Shea quietly
swalked up and told the bird if he
| didn't cheese the racket he d lock him
| up. He yelled it pretty loud and the
parrot replied: Zone ballr' whereup-
on Shea seized the bird and threw him
toward the window, but the bird re-
| covered, anu, alSShtiuS oack On MS
old perch, said: '.Foul. and out"
Judge" said O'Hearne, who by
this time had coliared the floor again,
..that bird knows me, aud he knows
that I can organize a nine that will
knock the stutiin' out of the Duden-
hefers or any other man. and his re-
marks arc personal.
..Tilat will do, Mr.. O'Hearne," re-
marked the judge. 1.-The case is con-
tinued until Monday; in the meantime
! you will arrange a place in your junk
shop for this bird"
johnny, MAKE room for your un-
cler' shouted the parrot. and Johnny
got pair of tongs and pulled the
bird out amid the laughter of the as
sembled crowd.
Then John sought out Chris Cain.
the little detective. who could write a
big book entitled "What / don't know
about BIRDS" and Chris told him the
best thing he could do was to get his
life insured and 60 of and die.-New
Orleans Chronicle.