, 1885-01-18

~ - = w. No.
II DON'T understand
"A nceeologist-a moral embalmer.S
mn more puzzled than ever
rMoa dieuf hut Il Is very simple. Yea
must nave remarked that whenever a man OF
note dies all the newspapers publish on the
day OF his death a long article about him.
Tho next day another, and perhaps a third
The first deals with generalities; his BIRTH,
his youth. his family, his debut in life,
tho sharo he took In this or that affair; Low
le lecamo celebrated: his last illness aud his
DEATH
Certainly l have seen II"
"Ihs next day the anecdotical appears; the
mania " the man-his oddities, sayings and
everything OF that kind
-J.nt so.f
well, in the third, with an account OF the
funeral, como in higher style a panegyric or
the reverse. One speaks Of the influence he
has had In his day, and the articls finishes
with a few details Of his life only known be-
fore 10 his most intimate friends. That's the
sort OF thing. is it notf
"Exactly.r
well, has it never struck you how rapidly
these articles must nave been worked up and
thrown orr
II must say that 1 have always looked
upon them as real tour de force"
@Ah, but you were only half right: there
is a good deal of tour. but little force"
"Howg7
"yvell, these articles which strike you
as perfect specimens OF French facility are
impromptus worked up at leisure like those
of Mnscarille; they arc prepared months
years beforehand"
"Madame. I could not doubt anything com
ing from n mouth so charming as yours,
but l may be permitted to express my sur
prises7
Express all the surprise that pleases your
Allow can 1t be that
~Wait; l prefer TO give you an explanation
OF the whole thing. 1 know It from begin
ming to end. As ! nave told you. my hus-
band is a necrologist; and this is how he sets
about it. 1t is, l must allow, somewhat
complicated
THAT l can easily believe"
when the Dictionnaire Vapereau' APP
peared my husband at once saw there was a
mine of wealth in it. He took out all the
summaries of those who had reached 50
years, pigeon-holod them, and posted them
up from day to day"
"But how ingeniusi"
Each time he came across a fact, a detail,
a pun even, relating to one of these celebri-
ties, it was added in its proper place; and
directly any of them fell Ill, my husband
took care that his account was posted up to
the very day"
"Capitali c~apitalrn
AAnd it was by this that Monsieur Guizot
was so complete, because he had threatened
several times to have done with life, and that
was why, as l told you, his was. such a good
death.D
aOf course. l see now. And which are
the bad deaths, will you tell meT'
"Why, those who die without beat Of drum
or sound of trumpet Mr.. Beule, now, went
off without saying as much AS look out, so
he had to wait eight days through not being
posted up"
us it indiscreet to ask for which paper
your husband worksf"
But for all OF them"
"How can that ber'
%without doubt all the neurological arti-
Giles are by my husband; he varies them ac-
cording to the opinion of the paper. He
wrote four Guizot articles; one for the Con
sentative paper, one for the Radical, one
for the Liberal, one for the Liberal Conserva.
tive"
"What a happy ideal"
~Yes; and he wrote a fifth for the Bona
partist papers"
us your husband the only one who does
this sort Of work.
~Alasl no, he has several rivals although
none Of them have the material my husband
has to work FROM
@He must make a good thing out of it."
"Ah, II there was no dead season, then"
But there is always a little current flow
ing. isn't theref'
yes; but they are far from being all
profit
>aWhyF'
@Oh, there are so few Of them celebrated"
aOf course. had not thought of that"
ITO say nothing Of there being SO many
quite unsympathetic, and then there Is so
much ill-luck. Bazaine, for example; he
ought to have broken his neck a hundred
times, IL once: but no-come what may, Ba.
zaine always falls ON his feet"
MAY l ask if this interesting profession
was your husbands discovery
"Well, not quite; the real discoverer, the
inventor, as NJ. de Fay would say, was Jules
Lecomte, the chronicler. When Rachel,
with a weak lung, was sent by the doctors to
Cannes, Lecomte thought she would not TO
turn, and he prepared his article The south
of France doing nothing for her, the great
tragedienne was sent 10 Egypt. Jules Lee
comte continued polishing his memoir. At
last she died, and Lecomte, who was one Of
the first to hear of her death, took his article
off to The Figaro, then but a small paper.
M dc Villemessant caught ut it at once-he
never wanted telling twice-out came the
till, and Lecomte received 500 francs. Jouvin
said to Murger, My father-in-law is madP
And Villemot, who was then getting but 100
francs a month at The Figaro, shrieked.
Jules Lecomte, the r~ufiani'p
"Well, The Figaro struck off 20, 900 copies.
Nobody could believe In such a success. My
husband, who was a friend Of old Bregand,
the porter at The Figaro office, had the story
from him, and directly thought that some
thing was to be made out of it; so be left the
tin trade, which had offered him a very
limited horizon, and commenced at once his
present profession, which ia now really a pay
ing concern
II can easily believe it. And have you any
good deaths in your eye at PRESENT.
Three or four; but, you know, with this
sort Of people one can never count with GER
tainty on anything; great men are so
hizarresln
But genius has its p~rerogative."
"Yes; / don't say to the contrary; only,
you will allow. 1t must be very tiresome.n
We had just reached Trouville. The lady
prepared to get out, took her little bag, her
en- tout cas-, her rug, and her cloak, ON which
she threw a glance Of dissatisfaction, and
then meeting my eye, and installing the look
she saw there, she said:
ut Is my waterproof you are noticing.
Ali if M. Theirs had consented not to hold
on so ~obstinately this winter, l should nave
had a fur cloak before now.n
Well. she has a fur cloak by this time.