The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1885-05-23

means this strange unrest,
This dreamy, hopeless yearning that seems tC
fiji my brcasty
Nv heart is lead, tears dim my eyes. Wha'
works this awful spell"
IT'S bile" the mother curt replied. You
want some calomel."
*.F
He slept and dreampt that the kangaroo
Had given fancy ball;
The elephant with the festive gnu,
The mouse with the ostrich tall.
A funny giraffe, that did nothing but laugh
Dropped in with a ccntipedc;
And cricket and flea, that had just been 10 tea
Waited round with remarkable speed.
A wasp and a bumble-bcc had chat
Just over his little nose;
And boa constructor, upon the mat,
Dressed up in his Sunday clothes.
A crow and raccoon, in fire balloon,
Paused over his bed to sing;
And neat armadlo crept up on his pillow
To dance the Highland fling.
Then all ere they left, made graceful bow,
And out in the moonlight shed;
Except ponderOus brindlc COW,
Which stopped to stand on its head.
The little boy woke, and grinned at the joke,
Sprang out of his bed Ii Ike streak;
{" can see it all over under the cover
VI tDc ClIcuScs tOIlillle hCNI hp'h'
-
A La Sale girl says that kissing is the
best thing in the world to make lips red
*.*
The new postal card will be of delicate
pink tint, just the color of Mendoza high
school girl graduates ear, and about the
same size.
Many of the members of the Legislature
were anxious to be home for the corn.
planting season This anxiety on their
part is something unlocked for. They get
SIS day, rain or shine, and they can get a
farm hand tor so cents day and dock him
for wet weather.
Carl Pretzel got one vote for L. s. Sena.
tor the other day, and that Teutonic hui
morist took 1t rs very serious matter,
whereas it was a light-haired joke, perpe
trated by some freckle faced misanthr0pe
with blue eyes and breath like the smell
from dead cat
There is just one thing In life which Is
sweeter than cloves young Dream and
that is when you arrive at your girls house
and find out that the bulldog has satisfied
his appetite on the other fellow who got
there ahead OF you.
Il
If the hotel got on fire and Ella Wheeler.
Wilcox had to shin it down rope, she
would be "a nice looking spectacle dressed
in nothing but her garments of soft luXu-
rious gloom" That's too gauzy, Nellie;
even a flynet would coveryour fair proper.
tions better than that sort of dress.
A wealthy farmer living near Mendoza
has this notice posted up nj the entrance TO
his field: IF any mans or woman's COWS
or oxen gifts into these here oats, his or her
tail will be cut off, as the case may be.
am hard shell christian and pay mi taxes,
but dam man who lets his critters run
loose say l."
A mathematical conundrum that is now
agitating society circles for a proper solu-
ton is: 1.-TWO girls meet three girls and all
kissed. How many kisses were ex-
changed?" The hired man on this de
partment gives 1t up, but thinks he could
give an approximate reply If they met
their fellows on moonleSs night
Belva Lockwood, who happened TO be at
Joliet on lectlring tour one night during
the strike, exerted her influence to get
one of the arrested men liberated. She
had had conversation with the prisoner
who was young married man, and used
that as an argument for his release In speak
ing 70 the officer who had him In charge,
but Ii was of no avail. Finally she said; His
wife has just had baby, and /; would be
cruel to keep him away from them" al
can't help that" said the obstinate officer,
'he couldn't get out of here If his wife had
twins" Belva then picked up her skirts
and skipped of.
-
Bean, of the Monitor, has had relapse,
md writes thusly of the brilliant future
which is always ahead Of him, but so hard to
,vertake: at Is common Tor small great
nen to speak with contempt OF the local
'ewspspers. But the country newspaper