The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-04-04
She Got all the News.

quired a lady as she walked up to a
house on North Side one day, and found
a spall boy with an old campaign hat
on sitting on the steps and shooting
pebbles at dog over the way with a
rubber constructed Gatling gun of his
own manufacture.
Noun, she's jist gone to the grocery
to git some Goldfish for dinner replied
the boy, punctuating his remarks with
snuffles, "coz this haint our day for
meat. We only has it twicet a week
now, COZ she's savin' up some money
to buy new clock that'll jis more'n
take the tuck out o Miss Bailem's; for
you see, ma she jis can't bear Miss
Bailem, and it most kills her to see her
come out with good stitch on, an
every time she does git anything new
why ma she takes on jis awful an says
she wonders what Miss Bailem pawned
this time to buy it with, and then she
begins to cut US light on grub until she
kin collar sumpin that'll make Miss
Bailem slam her door when she walks
along, an'-mam?
Don't hit that poor dog, bub. You
hurt him then, real bad. Don't you
know that's wrong?,
Noun, ma says tain't. You see,
that's Miss Nodget's dog, and ma is
jis down on her, oh, awful. You see,
Miss Nodget has owed her three draw
ms O. tea for more'n two munthS, an
she'd a had our skillet yit if ma hadn't
sent me after it, an then she'd broket
a piece off'n the handle, an her man
an pa don't jibe on politics nohow,
and ole Nodget he-mam?
isn't that your mother coming yon-
der?'
Noun. Why, that's ole Miss Sim
Minis. She lives in that yaller house
over yonder, and ma she jis hates her
blame sight worse'n she does Miss
Bailem, COZ, you see, when ma went to
Ingeanny last summer to see her brother
what was goin to be hung, why, ole
Miss Simmins somehow she found it
out, an she jis got right up an put on
her bonnet an went around to all the
neighbors an'-mamF
(Which grocery did your mother go
to? Rogers ?
Noun. You see, we used to git
all our things at Rogers, but finally he
jis' got so he wanted the cash down
every time, an ma she jis' got mad,
an said she would not have nuthin
more to do with no man what gives
thumb weight, an palms off all his ole
split stuff on her, an then ole Miss
Rogers she heerd about it, an she jis
come right over here, an her'n ma
they jis' had it up an down, an
mam?'
did your mother say she was COM
ing right back?'
Noun. She said maybe she might
jis stop a few minutes an see Miss
Nickum, coz she's got baby what's
got the measles jis awful, an her man
has jis been bilin' drunk for week,
AMMAN
will you tell her I've been here l
can't wait any longer. I'm Mrs. Thomp-
son.
FYes'um. Oh, yes, you'rethe woman
what ma was talkin' about Wednesday.
1 member it COZ that was our day for
meat, an'-mam?
Did she say anything good about
me?'
Noun. She jis said you put on a
heap O. style for grass widder, an
she jis' thought it was a burnin' shame
that you was goin' to marry that ole
crossed-eyed codger with a cork leg,
COZ he had money, 'thout gettin' no
divorce from the red-head hoss thief
| that-mam?
Tell your mother she's a good-for-
nothing gad-about, and she'd better
stay at home and keep her tongue in
her head or it'll poison her. l never
want to put eyes on her again. Will
you tell her that ?
'Yes'um,' replied the boy, as he
fixed another stone in the sling and got
ready to make the dog howl, too.