davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05
TOWsONTOWN, Md, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8, 1885.
Gadding and Gossip.

"I don't want to compel you
To let your baking 60,
But came in to tell you
Some things you ought to know
at won't take long; no doubt you
Will think it can't be so,
But folks all talk about you!
I've come to let you know.
"Now there's your next door neighbor-
Don't say told you, thought
She says it's no great labor
To find out all you know
"You see you're too confding:
You don't know friend from foe.
I'll set you right providing
You think you ought to know.
"You've heard of Mrs. Grundy?
She thinks it looks quite low
For you to drive out Sunday.
I'm sure you ought to know.
"Your class don't like their teacher,
knew it long ago
They all prefer Miss Preacher
Thought you might like to know.
"You must change your dressmaker;
You make sorry show
Primmed up like some old Quaker!
s'pose you didn't know.
"But then I've heard it hinted
You don't pay what you owe;
s'pose your means are stinted.
Of course you ought to know.
"Though you may not concede it,
Your baby doesn't grow!
They say you don't half feed it,
But then you ought to know.
"I saw your husband last night
With Mrs. So and So;
Of course it may be all right,
But should want to know!
"I think this bread will sour,
You don't half mix your dough!
I mould mine just an hour
It's strange you shouldn't know!
"You need me to propel you!
This clocks little Slow
I'll drop in soon and tell you
More things you ought to knoww
Georgia A. Peck an Good Housekeeping
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05
Undeserving of Charity.

ArEansaw Traveller.
An awkward, ill-favored boy, while
on an Arkansaw railway car, approached
a man and said:
mister, won't you please help me
along2'
you are going along fast enough. If
you are in hurry, why don't you get
out and walk7'
Il mean, won't you give me fifty
cents7'
what for?'
Il have fits and
Great Cesar Do they have to pay
a fellow to have fits in this country2 Up
where | came from people don't have
to pay for fits
Il am not able to work
well, don't do it. l don't care if
you never work any. am not so very
fond of work myself.
'All want is money enough to pay
my fare to Jenkinville.'
'What do you want to go thee torP
my brother lives there.
well, what have you got against
| him2'
Il want to live with him. Won't you
please give me money enough to
Have fits, you saya
yes sir.
'Well, you are better off than | am.
l haven't anything. Go on off some-
where and amuse YOURSELF
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05
Came Within an Ace of Catching
Him.
Atlanta Tele0rdnl.

Atlanta Telegram
'Befo' I proceeds wild my subject
said Uncle Primus. Il has very curl's
charge to prefer agin' er member OBJ dis
church by de name of John Anderson,
an eff he am widin de hearin' of my
bref, please let him come forward
John Anderson walked slowly up the
aisle to the pulpit and stood facing the
audience, while 'Uncle Primus' put to
him the following question:
sJohn Anderson, you hab been ac-
cused through letter to dis church OBJ
gwine to de residence of Collender
Stuttergood on er certain night las
week, jes fo' de preachers convinshun
an takin' from his fowl house Cochin
Chiny pullit; am you guilty or nota'
John Anderson spoke in the mega
tive, saying, q am not
well, den,' began 'Uncle Primus,
'ef hit warn't er Coachin Chiny pullit,
how bout de chances OBJ hit bein' er pea
fowl2'
Once more John Anderson looked
the audience square in the face, and
said with clear voice, Il are not guilty. :
Twice tonight, John, I hab axed
you a pinted question, an bof times
you hab asserted yo' innocence, an
arter very careful considerashun OBJ de
matter, I has arrived at the conclushun
dat you am not guilty; so take yo' seat.
Once mo- you am reinstalled in de
Little Willow Tree Church" P"
So saying, John Anderson walked
down the aisle toward his seat, but be-
fore arriving there he leaned over and
whispering in the ear of old Aunt Phoebe
Wilburn, he said ''Uncle Primus' set
mighty close to me dis ebenin', sister ;
he axed me eff tuck er Coachin Chiny
pullit, an tole him no, an dat wuz
| de truf, too, sister, dat wuz. Den he
axed me eff l tuck er pea-fowl; l told
him no, and dat wuz de truf, too, sis
ter, sho. But eff dat preacher had ei
| axed me eff l tuck er duck, he would hat
killed dis niger dead!
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05
Nicknames of States.

Connecticut, Nutmeg State
Delaware, Blue Hens Chicken
Florida, 'Peninsular State
Indiana, 'Hoosier State
Illinois, Sucker State
Iowa, 'Hawkeye State
Kentucky, 'Corn-cracker State
Maine, 'Pine-tree State.
Massachusetts, BAY State
Michigan, Wolverine State
Missouri, 'Puke State.
New Hampshire, Granite State
New York, Empire State
North Carolina, 'Old North State.
Ohio, Buckeye State
Pennsylvania, keystone State
Rhode Island, Little Rhody.'
South Carolina, palm State.
Texas, Lone-Star State.
Vermont, Green Mountain State
Virginia, 'Old Dominion
Wisconsin, Badger State
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05
Knew the Prisoner.

bar?'
sHim2'
'Yes; answer up prompt
'That fellow there2'
Certainly. Do you know him1'
'Him?'
Eyes, to be sure. Why don't you
answer2'
'Why, pshaw, Judge. Him an me
married gals out of the same family
sisters, you might say
well, do you know him2'
'Him?'
Cant you understand plain English ?
Do you know this man?'
sThat'n?'
'Of course, you blockhead. Do you
know him ?
know him7 Why, bless your old
heart, Judge, he's got pup now that I
give him morn'n five years ago, an you
never see such dog in all your born
days as that'n turned out to be. Why,
pshaw, Judge, you couldn't find nothin'
like him with hide an hair IN seven
counties; but the way come to git him
was just one of the funniest blamed
things you ever heered tell of. You see
the way of it was this-uhP
Hold on! Stop right there We
don't want any dog stories just now.
Do you know him?'
sWho?'
why, this man.
'Uh2 Why, l lowed you meant the
dog. Well, if I'd knowed the pup half
so well as I did him, you can bet your
socks he wouldn't never a got him,
Judge; that's what he wouldn't. Why,
dog gone it all, Judge, that dog was
half pinter, an-uh2'
Stop this saving around and answer
the question, or you'll be committed.
'Uh?'
tempt
For what P
'For contempt
whats that2'
will you answer the questions7
'YeS.'
well, then, why don't you do it2'
do what?'
ANSWER the question.
'What question:
'The one | asked you.
'Which'n?'
do you know the man2'
sWhat man?'
sThe prisoner at the bar
Il wonder how if you mean Bill
Gimps?'
Certainly. Do you know hime'
Didn't say we both married into
the same familya'
Eyes, but do-you-know-him2'
'Well, now, see here Judge. Don't
you know I'd be like to know my own
rother-in-law7'
will you answer the question:
'What question:
do you know Bill Gimps7'
Didn't say l give him pup five
years ago?'
'Yes; but do you know him2'
well, now, see here Judge, l claim
to be free born, an do you s'pose 1
wouldn't have any more sense than to
fool away dog on man I don't knows ?
No, stree; 1 never get so blamed flush
with dogs as to waste 'em like that.
Know him? Of course l do; better'n
1 do the size of my own feet, or my ole
woman's voice, and 1 could've told you
so long ago if you'd only asst me. Know
him at the bar? Why, blast it all,
Judge, that where fust got acquainted
with him, by his standin' treat an l
never knowed man, Judge, that was
more certain to turn jack right where it
was needed in a game of seven up than
him. You can go your pile on him for
that every time and never get left. Yes,
sir, I'd know Bill Gimps anywhere;
even in meetin' though 1 don't s'pose I
could ever make out how he got there.
Know him? Yes, sir-ee-bob. l know
him as we'll as I do when dinner time
comes. Is that strong enough, Judge,
or do you want me to produce his note
to show how much more / know him ?
can do it if sich is law
That will do
sUh?'
you may step down.
Down where?'
Down stairs, you blockhead.'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05

0~There is something in meanness
which excites species of resentment
that never subsidies; and something in
cruelty which stirs up the heart to the
highest pitch of human hatred.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05

HG~ Cultivate cheerfulness, if only for
personal profit. You will do and bear
every duty and burden better by being
cheerful.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05
nSs."Malinda. I'm astonished at y

DSy-"Malinda, I'm astonished at you
standing at the telephone with your
hair in papers and your collar crooked"
"Why, mother, l don't see why that
should matter" go of course you
don't! You never did care how you
look. How do you know who's at the
other end of the phone7"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05

B9~A blemish may be taken out of a
diamond by careful polishing; but if
your words have the least blemish there
is no way to efface it.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05

s%'Yes, said Mrs. Parvenu. with
pride in her voice, my daughter is to
be married at an early day.
TO titled gentleman, l believer
inquired the friend to whom she was
talking.
yes, German baron
'Ah A baron? What is his name2
The Baron of-Baron of-Pshaw!
it's funny can't remember his name.
My DEAR she said, turning to her hus-
band, gruff old chap behind news
paper, 'what is our new son-in-law's
title1 He's baron of something but |
cannot recall it,
Don't know, he growled. Barren
of Funds, reckon.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05

B9-The means to promote any end
are as necessary as the end to be pro-
NOTED.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05

n@~Any truth, faithfully faced, is
strength in itself.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1885-12-05
Miscellaneous.

yBE SEEKER
after the luxurious in Mems and Boys
Clothing can here be as we'll served as
the searcher after the merely serviceable,
while in our enormous assortment of
Novel Shapes and Styles both are GER
tain to be pleased. The reputation of
our house for Elegance of Style and
Perfection of fit, together with lowness
of prices is guarantee at all times of
perfect satisfaction. The great Surprise
of the Season is undoubtedly the unex-
pectedly low prices for goods universal
ly acknowledged the best in the market.
We can fit the Boy 2H years
old, as we'll as the man of
Weight (3oo pounds.)
ACME HAIL.,
"The: Glass of: Fashion,"
2O9 w. BALTIMORE STREET,
BALTIMORE, MD.
May9,'S5y.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23
HnptyG rOR 4 CLEAN SWEEP.

PHILADELPHIA, Nov. % tSpeeid0.-ln the
Presidential campaign Of the most notable features
WAS the crowds Of Democrats who paraded tie street
bearing brooms They especially delighted IN march
ing INTO the long corridors of the post Office Now thas
there is at last be Democratic postmaster ne onH
cxrcctd clean sweep is anxously waited for Mr.. isr-
v viii probably qualify and take possession about the
,st of december There are 100 appointments In TIC
ift of the postmaster OF Philadelphia. comprising 800
cerkships 4S9 regular letter carriers. and ol suOst
,utes Though most Of the carriers and many OF I'M
cerss come under the Ciyl Service rules there may
M La holesac die missas and these the city Delnoc-
Try fopdly hope Tor aud expect Tue new appolntees
however Will 10 compelled 10 pass the examination ae
norIing to law. SomO or the places are well worth
struggling for The deputy postmaster gets $4,000
sIIncrintendcn OF malls. $1,000; superlntenueht
~ hxrs 80 600; cashier, S2i00; superintendent OK
,oI " orier department 900 chief clerk 5000
superintendent OF registry department. F-'Vo' ""N
chi,f clerk ! assistant. 81 300
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23

RECEIPTS OF THE BILAIARD rOURyAME

RELEIFIs Ut tHI- 'II1I3I+II'D T 001'-'+ 11+'''
CHICAGO, Nov. % (Specidb.-Ihe gross re-
ceipts OF the billiard tournament when ended laso
night were $4,000; the expenses were nearly $1,000
which leaves net profit OF $4,000. As each contestant
won two games there is winner, and what VIII DO
done with the 900 purse and the net receipts yeti
be decided II possible to secure hail for three or
four evenings week the contest will be worked out
In three OF four games. Central Music Hall mas
been ycd By people and is no longer available
All the theatres occupied aud about the only place
remaining Is the Exposition Building. II the three
principals decide upon dividing the stakes the matter is
OF course settled II they do not the coumlttee wiz Wy
Al the opening of the tournament the record run was
4s and tho record % 81 Both OF these recOus
have bern the three times and the run
four Charges OF "hippOdrome' have been treeiy
made, but for "hppOdrOme" there was some pretty
speely work VignauX's playing has been brilliant Duo
orrac too Schaefers though fle range was h0O
great with Nignaux. but slOsson paye1 stesuy
as the narrow range OF his averages
shnM. thOn.h Il was bclOM MS usual IOrI1.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23
MOCG MIRRiIGES ~ BCfFILO.
CONCERNING THE NEADo"INCnCECHEs
VIGOROUS TALK By An>l-I.Hs-tEr THE MOCK
CEREMONIES BINDINGP 2

I."fN|-N-Il"-
~,
BUFFALO, NU\. - iNDffldtJ. lHtTc ms D'PH
sote stir III the religions norton o. the community
.,-...... , . 80. t,,...o., ,,.t.t,.s ga
over t"o 'ti'p'"''' W j" '.' ''+'''
Riverside. WctuHst,r and ollo. churches lhc craze
har,n sborly after "Tlc NttdO" had been
''r 81" '"'' 49, ,. 49,, .,.,,
peiOrHcV hti'' UI1 '"' 4.-'''' ""'N 49,
the ministers mo uucaSuc-s. Iho last church core
,. co.. az piv.r, dc n tuo..i,. Church tAc urmcipal
'N'' W - -, =. g.. d, ,,,. i.,.,,.r ,,t
performers "ei"H 'o''P" - -''''''' " '' -
Miss Mary Scott. schnritclcheT, tAe hihisohiest
,np tp Hl,ckrork Jlcv 10 moi consider themselves
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23
WORK DONE IN huDuEN PRISON.

AUBURN, Nov. % tSpcc,ah.-Agcnt and War
den John = Lanonart Of the Auburn Prison, completed
his annual report Tonight the report covers nod
Of n!ue months relative 10 boat and shoe making
on tho account system Boot making was bcgUn
on January l, aud shorty ancrward shoes were in
cuded in the prOdGct "f tho prison. Two hundred men
were employed in these departments The profits
on their labor amounted SJ7i0O Bench
sales January to September 30
amouutcd TO !2JJ. 7sJ 76, OF which about
80 per sold outside the state Of NcwNOrk and
al the prevailing market prices The only remaining
contract Is that OF the Auburn Collar Company which
will expire untl September 30 1893 which iOriy
employed The chop burned in March has been
entirely rcbut by cOnvcts. during tho last Of the
contract system there deficiency III tho earning,
compared with expenditures Of about 5000. For the
last year the deficiency has been S3J, 900,
not including an appropriation by the Legislature
of $4,000 material with which to rebuild
the burned shop the cost of the tools and machinery
for the manufacture OF boots aud shoes, which plant
80 800 Mr.. Laneart believes the contract System
to be the best possible means Of employing the coDvcts
but. in view OF tnc opposition, tnHs thc State account
sy6tem the only other means OF solving tho problem.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23

paid for the transportation Of mas between the United
states Australla md New.Zeaapd, where we nnVe
commerce amounting to S20 900 900 year. and feSOo
than paid for the hnra 0a s have
q oommorco amounting to about s1o.o0O.0oy year.
This Kentucky service cost one.lai az maSs
of eomnercep and ths transportation Of mails to and
from the nations OF Central and South America =, thu
Post otce Department that is self SUSTAINING The Coy
900 ooo for issesn
age aud pays about S350,0OO for the Hwav
mail service s always operated at osa 70 }nS tSo
ernment and is supposed to be main io .rv,cs
which covers ali the sportaion other thau oy rail-
way, costs more money every year tnah thc "''0i"
has reoeiyod from II for half @ century. . ,.e.,,o
II Mr. Villas has right to consider the -
OF commerce" every post route In tho country ous" "
be abandoned,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23
4 PRIEST prxouXcEs TIE nLRERyrAxs.

ELMIRA, Nov. 22 (SDecidU The Rev Father
Buoncr, pastor of 81. Pdricks Catholic Church. who
has made the AnCen Order OF IIbcrniaiis here
toiore made the society the suffice OF his remarks
his CONGREGATION Uo;h morning to-day The
annual ball OF tho organization will take place
Wednesday evening and the affair being extensvely ad.
yerlised the priests attention called II. He
warned all people Of his congregation not to attend the
bali under pain Of his displcssuro at least and the
ground that u a mortal sim The Hlbernians, he
SAID we're wolves Ia Sleeps clothing. and wine there
were good innocent among them, yet, taNen
ally they dangerous lot and not worthy OF the
cnnGdcuca or associations Of good Catholics Scvra OF
hIs h,urers arc cnbers or tho society, and wmc the
affair created ripple OF excitement among the cong-
guion generally, the iihrruians seemed undsturbcd
iud M tby en o. the besan the sale OF the bail
tickets outside the church door
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23

CROWDED AUDuNCE LlNIENS TO ATTACKS ON
WEALTHY CHURCHES.

, cpownrp AUDIENCE listens TO ATTACKS on
WEALTHY CHURCHES.
Bo,roN, Nov. % Specdb.-lt was announced
nm saturday that the friends OF the Rev. W.
~ Downs had secured Music Hail. "her" SER
.,.os woum be held this morning the
uo,,doIn Square Church being closed by vote OF
~, .,c,etv Tho notice was given so late that many
,,hte, whether large audience would assemble. but
spcb antlcipatlons proved misleading The accommo-
dons for 5000 people which the ha provides were in
deor.te After the seats had been taken the Hai"oe
.,h,n,, room was soon occupied and many went away
rnabio 10 gain admittancc In character the auuehco
,n, good one The people fully half Of whom were
mem w,re re,pcctable and respectful. Tho sermon
.os .Ioouent but rambling. Among other things the
speaker saidi , -. .
tbe churches of high priced pews do not welcome the
DOOR | have iu mind church that pays
i,s pastor $4,000 and he gets It,.
IT aucbtcrl He has congregation OF
ah,, t,rtv eight in population OF 100000 or 100000.
I'm, rho noor are not welcome there. Why do not the
rich churches OF open their doors and bid Ia the
populacel Because the poor are not wsnted'
n any one worth hearing speaks IN
hall free church, tne peopie
will flock TO hear him. gentleman recently sad To me
hone you will come out OF this trouble all right aud
i.h WAS In the church when the time comes to vote
naked him why he was not there. Now,
do not propose 10 discuss my troubles, whch
have attained such widespread publicity II allude TO
them you Will notice that do not DO II Ill neat OF III
anger There are certain mon who are determined not
~niv to rnle or ruin, but TO rule and ruin
rho R,hls SAYS that sinner can destroy. much
,ood ANY Kind OF fool in church can kindle hre
SSbtcb thousand good men cannot extlng9lsh. Men
49, .av ard think of what they please one
thty tmtyy0 can say I'm reply to ali :
never have turned away from my
L.. M man or woman, without at least kln1 wofu
To neyer allow cd any abandoned woman TO go away
amd many have TO mel without aword Oh
Vn VnH IN I have been their naunts many tiiues.
SpYe Sr mF bean ut their death beds, and l give
-, ,ha onuressed and needy that the door bell OF
hoteo so W "a ON the outside The audience broke
into hearty aPp@Hse O1 sna Tr W nS ssaeS COME
VI, nHren,an and two sheriff keepers might come
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23
A REnELYER OF STOLEN 0O0Ds SENTEN0ED.

RECEIVER OF STOLEN OOODS SEAIkNCLD.
CHICAGO, Nov % (SpecioD.-Andre An
drews pawubruker and fence" who for years has car
ried on his business spite Of police interference was
last night sentenced eight years in the pencntiay
for receiving stolen property Andrews has been de-
haut fence" lie has been arrested times without num-
Der aud stolen property has bson taken out OF his place
by the cart load. For than twenty years he hds
carried on his business The trial which resulted In his
conviction has great deal OF attention. as the
principal witness convict who testified that AM
dews encouraged aud paid him TO steal The prisoner
HE wife and family together with relatives, of whom
there are host, have made great die
plays Of Jewels aud fine clothes. II
declared that an attempt made 10 brbe tho jury
stood the first ballot ten for ten years one TOR
hve years and for year. Andrews was sent 10
jail when the jury wont out despite the OF
his attorney, and there ho remained last night Tue
prosecution feared that the jury would be taInpefed
WITH and U Is said Mrs. Andrews had some scheme
Of the kind IN itomplatiOn when she drove up TO the
Revere House. where the jury lodged. ut o'clock
Yesterday morning. accompanied by one Galagher Oi
Msckn notoriey. When her presence was not not ced
Grove TO the house of well-known attorney. Tie
police had four bailfs and eight detectives watching
the jury and had still others kc"plng TRACK or her move
ments, well as Of those whom sue visited
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-23
NOR ArLASTS SUccESSFUL.
HANGING MURDERER AFrER MANY FAILURES -
CONFF>siNG Ills CRIME.

HANGING MURDERER AFIER MANY FAILURE -
CO>FF>siNG Ills CRiMF.
ST. LOUIS, Nov. % (SpccioG.-lrwin Giubb
was taken from jail at rueye, Mcdonald County, aud
hanged by a mob last night ON June 20. 1883, Grubb
ana a mute companion, DOrsOn ~. Anderson, passed
throu"h Pinevillc on their way TeIas They camPed
lust outside the town. and few days later the body OF
Anderson was fouLd In pile Of brush lie had been
shot in IA half dozen places. Hrnbb was ar
rested near the State line lio confessed
that he Killed Anderson while the latter
slept Anderson tried up aud was shot again anu
again. Two attempts were made 10 lynch GiubD. Last
night the dcpny the guard thought they would step
out guard and get drink uf fresh water
had thoy clear OF the building than pistol
was thrust in each OF their faces and carH
was commanded to throw M his hands mo
then gathered aud demanded tho koys OF the lail
from Bacon. lIo replied that he did not have them and
that II he DID give them up they would kill him.
THIS alarmed BacOns wife who lives Ia eJail building
she told the mob that her husband did not have the
keys, that she had put them away and that II they
would not XIII him. she would get them. This she dit.
Leaving guard over ihe officers, the mob
went into the jail which s a primitive log structure
stories hi2h with the entrance To the ono cell from
hOo in the floor OF the second Story Raising the tlhl
door the mob COmmandol Gruhb TO come up The ladder
As soon a he did 80, they seized him and took hm oul
Of tho jail and started away, At spot about hali
distance from the place DR.. CnenOwlth was
murdered IN September, 1883. This was tho crime iO
which Garland Mann was shot D. mob Ia the JAIL "a
NcOshO.