Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1885-03-28
WI and Humor.

An old point-the North pole.
A new point-baby's first tooth.
a good point-a church steeple.
A strong point-a cheese knife's.
A hidden point-the pin in the sofa.
A sure point Montreal (for cashfers).
A poor point-BG=This way to the
aims house.
No point-the circus joke.-TZe Judge.
"IteI you, madam, I'u give you laugh.
ing gas, and IL won't hurt you in the
least to have it pulled"
go, ugh! g'long off wild yo' foolin'.
S'pOse I'd snickah f de hull gas facry
was tuned on when my jaws am jumpin'
like de Zhatic chOlry he'd settled in UNI?
Law, 'Manda, yo' may stop fannin'-it
makes too much Oh draf"
Enfant Terrible-"say, Mr.. snobBy,
snobby-''Why, no, Johnny, I can't
play very we'll"
E.TI'Wel, then, you'd better look
out, for ma says if Emma plays her cards
well she'll catch Ou."-L6fe.
ooh, pa! saw the dreadfuIlest sight
on the street to-day"
"What was it, son2"
ga prize-fghter, pa. An his ear was
cheWed OFF, an his nose broke, an his
hair pulled out, an he didn't have any
teeth, an one arm was in a sling, an he
walked On crutches."
"Tush, tush, son. That was not a
priZe-hghter; it was the remains Of a
special Inauguration policeman"
Mrs. Mcshoddy visited the Patent
Office the other day for the first time.
81 suppose you admired the models"
said friend to whom she spoke Of her
visit.
ooh yes" was the reply; "they were
just lovely; but they're rather small"
Jud Clark is the sen Of Judge Clark,
who owns numerous coal minesin Penn
sylvania. Jud is regular dude. Owing
to the hard times some Of the mines
have been closed, and thousands of
WOrkmen have been thrown out Of en-
plOyment. AS Jud was taking a walk not
long since, several unemployed men said
to him:
"For Gods sake give US employment.
Our wives and children are starving. All
we ask Is work. Can't you get US some
work."
"'AIy dear people, can't help you; I,
myself, have nothing to do. We are in
the same boat"
After the marriage OF Miss Lillian
Sniggs, Of Dallas, the bridal party par
took Of a EumptuOus banquet, towards
the end of which a younger brother Of
the bride got up, and said sOlemnly, rails
ing his glass:
Ladies and gentlemen, I have to pro-
pose a toast, which, however, must be
drank standing. Please take your glasses
and rise up"
The guests, although somewhat be
wildered, did so.
Now" said the young scrapegraces If
you viii remain standing for a few min
utes I'll find out who has been sitting on
my new stOve-pipe hat"
my mother gets me up, builds the fire,
and gets my breakfast and sends me of"
said bright youth.
''Then she gets my father up, and gets
his breakfast and sends him of. Then
she gives the other children their break
fast and sends them to school, and then
she and the baby have their breakfast"
How old Is the baby?" asked the re-
porter.
"Oh, she is most two, but she can talk
and walk as well as any Of as"
'Are you well paid2"
81 get s. a week, and father gets s.
day"
"HoW much does your mother get?'
With a beW1dered look the boy said:
Mother! Why, she don't work for any
body"
81 thought you said she worked for all
Of you"
ooh, yes, for US she does; but there amt
no money into it.
Mr.. Br0wnsmith, a swell Of the worst
type, called on his lady love, Miss MOllie
Pryor, last week. MOliie has q little sis
ter, who seemed very much struck with
Mr.. BroWnsmith's personal appearance.