New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1885-11-30

TRIBuSE staff Times is always newsy and interest
Ing and it, double sheet Saturdays contains large
and varied assortment OF attractive reading matter II
gave hearty support to Blaine last year and advocated
tho election Of Cttln for Mayor this year We con-
graduate it upon tho which it deserves and
achieves.
THE LAST roy.
The Last Man so I'VE heard IT said
VIII mud his situation ir.-hlful,
Win all the other people dead;
There's nothing I'd enjoy
Like being the Last Boy.
That candy store just up the street
wouldn't lose a single minute
In choosing what I'd ike to cat.
And spending several hours IN II
W!th nobody to say
mustn't 10 that way.
Ia 20 ana visit all tho shops.
And III my pockeSt-iI them mainly
win little guns. ami kt"a. and tops,
And ol9.r thing r., ryg leased Tor vainy'
II nobody was there
I'd never 20 to bcd-ior then
Tuerc'l be no horri nurse TO take me;
I'll never - to school again;
There wouldn't b. a sou, TO make me-
There's nothing III enjoy
Estate and Pencil People.
DE- Moldohuso has discovered a new cause for the
crumblins OF the Obcli-k. He says that IL is pining
away because OF hoincsiy1ncss. That may be; bat
never before heard Of painting child with paraluc 20
cure a longing for homo. Tie remedy might work.
though. No charge for the suggestion.
The following is u story which Bishop William. is said
To very fou Of repeating to the students OF tho tEpis
copau tAeoos,A seminary at Mddleown over which he
Qacstlon-Wherc Was the Cradle OF Liberty first
Nuswer-On Plymouth Rock
Q.-Who placed the Cradle OF Liberty on Plymouth
A-The Puritan Fathers.
Q.--Wny did the rurtn Fathers place the Cradle Of
Liberty on Plymouth Eorki
A.-lhnt the cradle might be handy for rocking
Liberty sleep while the Puritan Fathers were cutting
tic Tongues out OF the q iaSers' mouths . ,,..,,.-
This story, one Of many Jokes which Bishop Williams
IL Is said delights in cracking at the expense OF MS own
ancestors fall, in with tho spirit OF tn" lines aud VIII no
doubt hit of psople also descended from good
cd New England stock Waterbury American.
farmer in MidIlebury, Conn. has discovered
valuable assistant IN his farm work. lie has thirteen
year old which in the past has annoyed MIN greatly
bccIu,e OF propensity To sha apples from the trees
by intcrlockns HIS horns IN the limbs Being anxious
10 secure apple crop before heavy trost the
strong OK was turned into the orchard and soon
discovered vigorously work shaking the apple-trcc
limbs. The farmer says he gathered more tnan 800
bushels Of apples with the ncp OF his willing bovine.
This campaign yam, told on the stump. is sail to have
been worth 200 negro votes to tho virginia Democrats
I'm the recent election " PurpOrtiEg TO be cOOrcd
man, account OF visit which lie hal made, in dream.
o. the Internal REGIONS. lhe story that Tho dream
Democrats, Republicans and negroes gathered to-
gtihcr ia = hot place, but That every EcpuOUcHn
had colorcl man ia his arm, held mp OetwiNj him ana
the fire. however. TO &etch dc hcit OF dc heat -
Waterbury American.
\ Maine newspaper OF 1919 contains the following
pathrtic notice ATTENTION. The Editors respectfully
remind their that they in immediate cat
OF wood. Bark meat meal. sauce and CASH. As cold
weather has arcly come. the want OF wood and bark
for fc Is felt at their fingers ends with regard to the
articles what dreadful things empty stomlchS AMI
the horrors ~ d jtH,
"Whcro peace ana rest never dwell"
THE Eggs THAT NEVER HATCH.
There's young man on the corner.
Filled with life and strength and hopc,
LOokua iar beyond the present,
With The whole world in his scope.
lie IA grHNping at tomorrow,
That phantom mono can catch;
To-day Is lost. He's waiting
For the eggs that never hatch,
There's an old man over yondor
with a and weary face,
with searching M NOuS features,
And weak. uncertain pace
lIc IS living I'm tho future
with desire t. eaten
The golden Now. lio'- waiting
For the eggs that never hatch.
There's world of men and women.
With their He's work yet uudOuc.
Who sitting. stHndug. moving
Ever eager for the future.
But not content t. snatch
The Prescott They waiting
For the eggs that Will never hatch.
Merchant Traveller
The N,r.E ngiomd Mdicd iloni1ly is responsible for
the statement that 4 corthcote OF death presented
Chicago not long ago, which the attending physician
had written his name. perhaps inadvertently, IN the
space left for cause OF DEATH"
ON the next street Just like isn't it :" exclaimed
Mrs. brown so natural T. e,aenaied Mrs. F3sg:
you reconcile your two opinions just like her aud 50
natural II my memory serves me, II was only last
week that Won agresd that there nothing about
her that wasn't artificial - Boston Transcript
--------------
A HINT TO TARIFF REFORMERs.
From me Chattanooga times
II the FREQ traders thought loss highly OF their al