Morning journal and courier., 1885-01-03
TOUGH.

Don't grumble because the butcher sends you tough meat. If you can't eat it yourself sprinkle it with strychnine and invite your neighbours dog to lunch with you.-Boston Post
 A scientific journal says that thereis ''real- ly no warmth in clothes" This thought must have occurred to everyone who has ever put on a clean shirt in cold room.-Detroit Free Press.
 "What's the matter, Pata Are you afraid of work?" Afraid is it2 Divil bit Oi can lay doom along side av it widout bein' nervous at all" P. S.-We were dared to publish this.-Boston Post
 An exchange has an article on ''The rise of the roller rink.'' This ought to confirm the theory of the young man new to the rol- lers that the floor flew up and hit him in the back of the neck.-Oil City Blizzard.
 The Canadian merchants now send thei1 letters in large packages by express to some postoffice in this country, thereby saving thirty three per cent. in postage. If the American emigration to Canada continues, the Canucks may eventually learn something. Puck
 From Edwin Arnolds new poem we learn that ''Upon a certain morn at Rajagriha, ln Wasanta time, Lord Buddha sate-the great Tathagato'' It seems like an incredible statement, but it may be true.-Norristown Herald.
 ''What in the world are you staring at that young married couple so intently forf' asked one young lady of another in railroad train s'Oh!'' exclaimed her companion with 8 start and sigh, ''It's so natural for us girls to contemplate matrimony, you know. ."-Bur- lington Free Press.
 ''Did you pass the hat?' the pastor of 8 Texas congregation asked his deacon after the morning service. "Yes, I did, " said the deacon, and then looking into the vacant in terior of a hat that wanted nothing but lin ing he added gloomily, "So did everybody else. .'-Burdette.
 sI wish was an owl, '" said the young law. yer, as he sat by her side late one evening | ssWhyr' she asked Because I could stay | up ali night, you know, dear," he replied | 'EWhat would you want to do such a ridicu | lous thing as that fora" she Uttered. ''Te | wit: to woo."-Pittsburg Chronicle. An Arizona sporting man was recently in veigled into church fair, and induced to try | his hand at the wheel of fortune. In half al l hour he had all the money in the bank and mortgage on theehurch. He very consider | ately gave them back the mortgage, and il l the future the church will choose it's vlctlm | with more care.-Puck.
 "You horrid thing p said Miss Jaggs t. Miss Minnie Jaggs, when they had sough | their room; ''you actually ate that biscul | after Uncle Horace had reached It to you ol his own fork !" ''Well, what of it p ''Wha of it. should say what of it l! 1.-The idea..o touching anything that anybody else's for | has been in !'' |'It doesn't make any differ ence in Uncle Horaoe's case" "Why not? "Because he never puts his fork in hi | mouth "-Rockland Courier.
 Rather good joke was uttered the othe day at one of Pierre Verons dinners, t which literary and political men alone are in vited: ''Do you know why Richepin, afte all, did not go into the deserta' said some body. ''No, indeed!' ''Well, he was cs reering along on camel, when he met a Arab, and asked him the name of tn waste land he saw before him. ''Tis tn great Sa(h)ara,' said the Arab. What again!' cried Richepin; T really though I had got rid of her!' And turnin
 the camePs head round, he returned to tn spot whence he came. e."-London Truth