The weekly Arizona miner., 1885-08-14
-c,.s,ess nas ss AlsAana.s

-c,essess Has ss AlsAsns.' ..n. crossest man in Alabama lives .,ar n raid the driver As we appsoached a way-side home near Selnla, Ala, 70 . .sL accommodations for the night. At i, suupe,. and after t, ''mine host" scowied | at every one, found fault with everything earthly. and 1 was wondering II he would moi prowl if tine heavenly halo didnt ht | him when incidental mention being made of the comet of 1882, he sad didn't like its form; its tail should have !, been fan shaped!" q. Bu, next morning he appeared hall offended al our odcrin. pay for his hos pi,a!ity, Mycompanion, however, fnade him accept as a present sample from his case of goods. Six weeks later, Grow up at the same house. The planter stepped liihely from the porch. and greeted me cordially: l could scarcely believe that this clear complexioned, bright eyed. animated fellow, and the morose being of few weeks back, were the same. He in- ouired after my companion of the former visi. and regretted he was no: with me. "Yes," said his wife. i've are botn much indebted to him." "How ?" l asked. in surprise.
 "For this wonderful change. in my husband. Your friend, when leaving. handed him a bottle O! Warmers Safe Cure. He took it, and two other bottles. and now -" And now" hc broke in, "from an ill-feeling. growing old bear. I am healthy and sO cheerful my wife declares she has fallen in love with me .sgain" It has made over again thousand love matches, and keeps sweet the ; tempers of the family circle everywhere. -ICopyrigh,ed. Used by permission of American Rural Home. ThE JARpHlYS. As A,s~aeesaffvo Esesansss. 01s4Aa \ which the subject sf Divorce c nsoechso "A Brfghsoaine up Ss tic cseckssy Trade.
 .I sec divorccs are getting cheaper. placidly remarked Mir. Jarphiy. with significant sstisfacs.on: to MrA Martha Jarphly at the breakfast tablc yesser- day morning. 'Are they!" said Mrs. Jafphly. ~ith atilt oi hcr nose. Well. 1t is . good thing. and will be better yet if they oaly get cheap cuough to be within tho reach o! some people 1 know." and the lady sbsent-miudcdly eentercd her eyes on the m;lk-pitcher and smiled swoetly upon 1t.
 That was . gage of battle. and Jere- miah Jarphly knew it. When Mrs. Jarphly smiled on the milk pitcher at the breakfast-table that meant war. MT. Jsrphly had recently written Co Mir. Cleveland that he was civil-ser- vice reformer. and would accept . post-office, and Mir. Cleveland had not replied to his letter. That made him irritable.
 1 Half tho men in the world ars fools for getting married. anyway" he nut tered.
 And ou tho women are." replied Mrs Jarphly. as she gave the milk. pitcher another smile.
 There's . good many wives in the world that it's torture for . man te live with." remarked Mir. Jarphly as he drummed with fork in retaliation fol Mrs Jarphly's smiling oa the milk pitcher.
 "What do men marry them for then?" sneercd Mrs. Jarphly.
 "HOws . man going to tell whethel he can live with . woman or not uut! he marries her?" cried Mir. Jarphly.
 ''Let him find it out!' answered hil wife with womanly logic.
 "Find out?" yelled Mfr. Jarphly "Find out! It's all courtship and saffl before marriage and vinegar and 'hn4 cutr afterwards!"
 Whose fault is it?" asked his wifi with asperity.
 'It's the woincn'e!'
 '.It's the men's!''
 Before marriage they show up al painted and varHished. and arc to' sweet for anything. and"
 .'Yes, and the men keep sober an, behave themselves. and fa;tey and ds ceive. and"
 And look as mild. and talk as swss, and"
 And are e polite and attentive and"
 And don't tell nothing about hos they snore in their sleep. and"
 And stay out ct all hours. and"
 And keep awake all night just t q pick quarrels with their husbands whe |. they come home, and" e And come home in . shameful con , 1 dition. and" n And wear their hair in papers fo ! him and in curls for other people !, and"
 f And spend their money in disgrac ing their families instead of proyidin, Q for them. and" | And jaw a man to death. and" ing until night and"
 And think more of drcss than ( their wifely duties. and-" , And go"
 "And don't"
 "And-"
 "And-"
 '.SIR-'
 , "MAM"
 4 short time aftcrwards Joboli Jarphly told neighbOr's little boy ths his mother had bilious attack and hi father was busy mendinG crockery. an that. all things considered. he did nG think he would attend school that day : but would go skating co ss to he haad d jn case of illness. -RstsbssrgA DGspsed AaFk TWa9o's 0eveoeA .I ilntsr OoeaA1
 Mark Twain nov proposss Co plague a ( inventors of the autograph Apsil-fool hoa
 by publishing in pamphlet all the inquest
 with caricat6rs portraits of the 1n'.ers, sn
 brief biographical esayl for which Il