Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-06-20
MR.. WHITMARsH's REVENGE.

HUI DtCll lllllOg Co ~ " ON4iO ~4A''iA
who lives in the next house, who,
in and out Of season, practiced on
a cornet. The footing of the
cornet was heard at all sorts OF
mseemly hours. Mr.. Whitmarsh
has been known TO spring from his
bed at three O'Clock in the morning,
Immediately subsequent to a more.
than ordinary unearthly screech
from the cornet. On several occa-
sions he has been SO seriously agi-
tated from nervous prostration as
to narrowly escape having menin-
gets, caused by an unusual guam
tity of false notes evolved from
the cornet. 1t finally became a
question Of premature death to
Mr.. Whitmarsh or the suppression
Of the cornet, and Mr.. Whitmarsh
resolved on desperate measures.
Mr.. Whitmarsh believes, mildly,
in homeopathy and determined to
give the cornet player a dose OF
his own medicine. He accordingly
sent to a neighboring town and en-
gagged the services of a cornetplayer
who was noted for the Indifference
of his playing, as well as for the
length of time he could perform on
the instrument. The home player
was invited to little supper at
Mr.. Whitmarsh's house TO meet a
few friends, (Mrs. Whitmarsh is
away for the summer) and being of
a convivial disposition, the cornet
player accepted the invitation, and
on the evening set for the event,
put in his appearance, in good time.
He found several young men there,
and the supper passed offpleasant-
ly enough, the stranger from the
neighboring town being one of the
guests.
After supper Mr.. Whitmarsh
proposed music, and the imported
player taking his cornet from its
case, opened up. His false notes
and disreputable rendering, ofsome
of the most well known and popu.
lar airs, annoyed the home player
very perceptibly, and observing
his restlessness, Mr.. Whitmarsh
took the precaution of quietly lock-
ing the door. The imported play
err played more vigorously, as he
proceeded, and in his enthusiasm
mixed up tunes together, in shock
ing way. He would play few
bars of "The Campbells are Com
ingn very accurately, and suddenly
he would turn off into "Mollie
Darling" without wink or pause,
The home player got so nervous
that he rose from his seat and
walked the room, while Mr.. Whit
marsh never moved.
Then the performer would break
right off in the middle of "Silver
Threads Among the Gold" and
"Whoa Emma" furiously. The
home player announced that he
was sick and would have to retire.
No one noticed him. "What are
the Wild Waves Saying2" burst
from the cornct, as though the in
strument had split down the side,
while the victim clapped his hands
to his ears and shouted "stop." In
vain ! the performer left his chair
and followed his prey around the
room. He beloved Grandfather
Clock" through the cornet, at him.
He played "Peek-a-boo" down one
side of him, and molly Put the
Kettle On" up the other side. He
scored him right in the small Of
the back with the old but effective
1.-THE Bells are all Ringing fol
Sarah" He took him under the
ribs with, yankee Doodle"
The home player became like ;
wild man, he rushed around The
room, he attempted to open the
door, it was locked. In despair
he tried to butt his head against
the wall, he was caught and held
The imported players lungs seem
ed stronger than ever. He would
reach for the high notes and fairly