davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28
THE DISoUSTED TRAMP.

An Insult to the Profession--Worse Than
He was old and bent. His form hac
seen the storms of fifty winters at least
and as he sat by the roadside with his head
bowed upon his arms, he looked the picture
of misery without company. He was only
tramp; but his detected air showed that
he was suffering from some sorrow perhaps
too deep for words. A kind-hearted pedes-
trian. passing by, approached him.
''Say, old man." he said. ''you look pref
ty badly broken up"
yes" replied the tramp, 81 feel sad
there's no getting around that
.'Whats the matter? Wasn't the cream
fresh that you had in your coffee this morn
ing?"
'.Oh, yes. I've had better; but it was
good enough"
Somebody been trying to work off silk
hat two years out of style on your
mo, it's not that"
"What then? Has some fellow who ba:
always kept pug bought mastiff?"
''Oh. worse than that"
s'rhen,' said the stranger, edging away
as il afraid of an outburst of ungOvernable
wrath, ''some one must have offered you
dry bread"
mo, that's not it."
'sWell, what on earth is the trouble?" :
my friend" said the tramp, slowly rails
ing his eyes, and heaving long, tremul0us
sigh, Il went this morning toa house where
they used to keep two bulldogs and shot
gun, and instead OF bringing them out they
invited me in, and tried to rope me into
eating some bread covered with rat-poison
It's an insult to the profession, that's wbai
It is, and Pm hurt Puck.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28
THE AIR.
Whether 1t BE Colorless Depending Upon
Environment.

Environment.
The Challenger has dredged from the
bottom of the ocean fishes which live
habitually at great depths, and whose
enormous eyes tell of the correspond
ingly faint light which must have de-
scended to them through the seemingly
transparent water. 1t will not be as
futile speculation as may at first seem,
to put ourselves in imagination in the
condition of creatures under the sea,
and ask what the sun may appear to be
to them: for, If the fish who had never
risen above the ocean-floor were an in
telligent being, might he not plausibly
reason that the dim greenish light of
his heaven--which is all he has ever
known-was the full splendor of the
sun shining through medium which
all his experience shows is transparent?
We ourselves are, in very fact, living
at the floor of great aerial sea, whose
pillows roll hundreds of miles above
our heads. Is it not at any rate con-
ceivable that we may have been led
into like fallacy from judging only by
Wudt VIC Scc NJ JIG DOttOlu! uAdy We
not, that is, have been led into the fall
lacy of assuming that the intervening
medium above us is colorless because
the light which comes through it is so?
freely admit that all men, educated
or ignorant. appear to have the evidence
of their senses that the air is colorless,
and that pure sunlight is white, so that
if venture to ask you to listen to con-
siderations which have lately been
brought forward to show that it is the
sun which is blue, and the air really
acts like an orange veil or like sieve
which picks out the blue and leaves the
white, ] do so in the confidence that I
may appeal to you on other grounds
than those l could submit to the prim-
tive man who has his senses alone to
trust to; for the educated intelligence
possesses those senses equally. and in
addition the ability to interpret them
by the light of reason, and before this
audience it is to that Interpretation that
] address myseE. p Langley. 81
Aepwlar settNes Monthly.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A new wax of value has been found
in the bark of the ocotillia, thorny
plant of Mexico.
"A Nevada court held that a man
who had five dollars in his pocket and
his board paid for week ahead is "a
capitalist within the meaning of the
law.
For truly deep feeling let me call
your attention to negro waiter who
has to stand by while the hotel guest
whom he is serving eats watermelon
Utica Observer.
One cause of the throat and lung
trouble In this country is the fact that
all of MS sing so much and SO sweetly.
Neither the throat nor the lungs were
intended to stand such strains. Detroit
Free Press.
Sweet nuisance-"No; the scene oil
The Mikado' is not laid in Ireland. It
isn't pronounced that way, anyhow.
See here! Amt you the girl that
asked us If ragout was the French for
putting on your best clothesP" -Boston
Post.
-Enraptured young woman, gazing
upward Ito young newspaper man.
What a wonderful thing is space7
Do You ever contemplate its inn
mensity? Young newspaper man
Indeed, do. l have a column of it to
fill every day.--N Y. Sun.
1t is reported that the maple. here
tofore healthy tree, is dying of
mysterious disease. This is natures
way of removing what is no longer of
use. since dealers in maple sugar"
now sell compound composed largely
of the settling Of molasses casks.-Bos-
ton Traveller.
-Verasopht-You are looking charm.
ing tonight, Estelle. Estelle Charm
ing is too cold a word. Verasopht-
Then I'll call you lemons" Estelle,-
Lemons, sir! Do you mean to insult
me? verasopht-My darling. you do
not read the papers or you would know
that lemons are very, very dear.--Phil-
adelphia Call.
"A California chap has caused the
arrest of two young ladies. who, he al
leges, waylaid and robbed him. As he
is dude who has neither money nor
brains, it is difficult to decide what they
could steal from him. Perhaps they
wanted to measure his head so they
could get pattern for pincushion.
Newman Indcpendcnt.
What fine evenings these are for
studying natural history" yes"
Last night about sunset / was struck
by the similarity between my six-year-
old and the house-flies. was trying to
drive the flies ont of the house and coax
the boy in. They all moved at pre-
cisely the same rate of speed and with
just the same amount of dodging.-
Chicago Tribune.
my dear Mr.. Fitzsniffle, Miss
Jones and l have had quite discussion
and we have agreed to let you decide.
Which is entitled to the palm of excel
lence, Keats or ShelleyP"
well, WEAKLY, Miss Brown, / would
rather not undertake to decide that
question. NY acquaintance with both
the gentlemen Is very limited. The
fact 10 they don't belong to my ~, you
know.-A3IuoWkss Sentinel.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28
Not an Admlrer of the Sex.

Old Colonel Witherspoon was at party
a few nights ago, and the subject Of matri-
mony was under discussion. GiIhooly cons
pared women to snakes.
ibid you hear what the wretch says, -
said Mrs. Yerger to iCoIonel Witherspoon.
"Yes, num-" replied Colonel Wither-
spoon.
Now. Colonel, you have been married
three times, and can testify as an expert
II know, mum, It's . Islander on the
snakes Darn snake, anyhow. I like q
hsax 'sm bused."-Tsras Svttns&
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

There are in England 1877 ragged
schools which are attended by 5O,OOO
children.
The Presbytery of San Francisco
has organized q Presbyterian Church
whose members consist entirely of Jap
anese Christians. resident in the city.
. There is said to be not single
evangelical missionary in the whole
valley of the Amazon, and that gospel
sermon has never been preached in all
that territory.-M Y. Post.
Rev. DIR. w. r. Davis, pastor OF the
Zion Baptist (colored) Church, OF Louis
Vile, KY, has resigned at the request
of his congregation, who alleged that
he did not preach loud enough nor with
sufficient fervor to make them happy
Louisville Courier-J0urndt.
Among those who have joined the
Roman Catholic Church since the be-
ginning of the Oxford movement are
enumerated So lords, Is baronets. 3O2
graduates of Oxford, 149 graduates OF
Cambridge, 142 army officers, 90 law
yers, 48 doctors and 1,0l0 ladies OK
aristocratic stations.
Rev. N. j. Cushing. DID,, of Bur-
nah, arrived at San Francisco few
days since. 1t is about twenty years
since he left this country for the mis-
s;onary field, and nine years since his
first return. He has done great work
in the translation for the Shan people of
| the entire Word of God.-N T. In
dependent.
-Irreverent jokers put gallon Of
whisky into the baptistry of an Indiana
church, after the water had been fixed
for the immersion of reformed
drunkard. But their trick was turned
to serious account by the victim. who,
standing on the edge of the tank in his
dripping robe, described the outrage to
the congregation and delivered ring
ing speech for total abstinence.-In
dianapoiis Journal.
The great defect even of our. best
teachers. and clergy as well, is this
living in rut. No man or woman is
great or good enough to dispense with
the broadening and benefcent influence
of everyday physical nature and the
mighty university of human life. So be
wise. and use the golden hours for
thorough ventilation of mind-imagina-
ton, sympathies. sense and SOUL
Journal of Education.
I'm England parent can be prose-
cuted for the non-attendance of his
child at school, and children must bring
the penny school fee every Monday.
The father of child who did not bring
his penny on two successive Mondays
was summoned for non-attendance,"
and the Lord Chief Justice held thatthe
attendance of a child without the fee
constituted no attendance under the by
laws of the School Board.
The system carried out in Vienna
for educating girls is certainly worthy
of notice. They are kept at their studies
until they are fifteen years of age. They
then go through course of teaching in
the pantry and the kitchen under some
member Of the family, or sometimes un-
der trained cooks for a year or two
years. Thus they learn to do every
thing themselves, and to know the val
ue of things long before they commence
housekeeping on their own account;
and though they may never be required
to cook dinner. they become indie
pendent of cooks and servants.--N. Y.
Su,l
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28
CHINESE EXPORT TRADE.
How 1t is Controlled by Monaghan Me
chants.


chants.
The export trade of the Pacific coast
with China, which few years ago was
controlled by white merchants, is now
practically in the hands of the Chinese,
whose facilities have increased with their
growing knowledge of trade in this
country. White men who now figure in
our commercial relations with the
Flowery Kingdom are in ma ny cases
acting only as agents of Chinese firms
or individuals. The manifests of all
the shipments from this port to China
for the quarter ended June 30, 1885,
furnish a fair picture of the present
condition of the export trade. The total
merchandise shipments to China by
white houses for the quarter appear to
have been 1921, 273.49. This includes
all shipments from the east as en-
braced in the exports, nominally, by
the two China steamship lines or their
agents. which together exported mer-
chandise valued at $163, 901.57. The
great part, in fact nearly all of the
shipments nominally by the steamship
lines are outside of Californian pro-
duction, the bulk being sheetings.
ginseng, and arms and ammunition.
The remainder of the 1921, 273.49. or
$117, must be reduced by de-
Quoting shipments by white persons
who nominally ship for themselves, but
who are known to other shippers as
agents for Chinese, to the amount OF
S43, 357.81. This leaves the statement
for merchandise exports for the quarter
named as follows: Direct by Chinese:
$541, 9l5.74; by white agents of Chinese.
S43, 1891; total, 1856, 1857. The
merchandise exports by whites are as
follows: By transportation companies.
$163, 901.57; by local business houses.
$74,014.11; total;. $237, 915.68. This
shows the Chinese to have had control
of about three-fourths of the business
for the quarter. During the quarter
Chinese business houses sent out of the
country treasure amounting to $685.
507.55 to Hong Kong. The banks OF
California, Anglo-Californian Bank, and
Hong Kong and Shanghai banking cor
poration also sent to Hong Kong over
$2,000.000. The largest item of export
is flour. and the flour trade between this
port and China is generally known to
be controlled By the Chinese. Some
authorities state that ninety per cent.
of the export trade hence to Chinese
ports is controlled by the Chinese mer-
chants. This condition of affairs tends
to show that the local curse of China
town is only small part of the Chinese
question, and the ease with which the
Chinese absorb business has made them
masters of the situation, so far as the
export trade with their country is con-
cerned.-San Francisco Chronicle.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28

A terrible mischief-maker,
A gossip of great reuown,
Who spreads wicked rumors round about
Her little native town.
And the reader thinks It awful
That such q one should be
Allowed to live in decent town
OF high socie-tee.
She thinks it really dreadful
That one should spend her life
Talking of Jones and Smith and Brown,
And this one and that ones wife.
But the reader would dance with fury
All day from dawn to dawn,
Could she but know in the novel bright
She is the gossip drawn.
Puck
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28
His Only Reason.

Indignant Purchaser-See here, sir; J
don't want this horse you sold me. He
balks. / can't get him over the bridge.
Jockey-Thats the reason sold him.
Why did you come to me for the horse?
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28

1t sometimes happens that mar
ransacks the whole house for a pin. and
unable to find one drops into a chair in
disgust, and Is Immediately and unex-
pectedly rewarded for bis search. ~
y. Independent,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-11-28

so" JVu1 "u'o1s''o"'o''' M WIG p"
per-"
81 thought so. gave you my reason
for selling him."
"Yes. To be solo, you stated, for no
other reason than that the owner wants to
go out of town. 49, fs42
swell, if you can get out of town with
him it will be more than can do."-Phtl-
1delphid Cal.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-04-02
LAZF PEOPLE.

How is it that lazy men manage to make
q mark in the world. The poet Thompson
wrote some of his best verses in bed The
philosopher Alcott, of ofConcord, in this State,
was, am told by an ex-Concordian, very
indolent man when in his prime. They
used to say in Concord that the Platonic
philosopher would gently acquiesce in the
doing Of all the hard household work BY his
daughters, who have since come to fame.
But his mind was far, far away with the
philosophers Of India or Germany. Thor.
eau, | am convinced, was Just lazy. He
liked to loaf and invite his soul seven days
in the week. The same ex-Concordian tells
me that if it had not been for the surrepti-
tious conveyance of baskets of provender TO
the hut of the hermit out on the shores Of
Lake Walden, Thoreau would have starved
1t is easy to play independence of the world
when your sisters fry doughnuts for you
and send you cold corned beef on the quiet.
Ex-Governor Lent, of Maine, now dead, was
an easy-going man. When q student Of
Harvard he was Presidentof the Lazy
Club, and one day was actually seen run
ming across the college campus. After a
suitable delay, for the Lazy Club could not
hurry anything, he was tried, and his plea,
which had TO be accepted, was that he had
been pushed by some one and was too lazy
to stop himself Another slow goer was
the late Hon. Ensign Kellogg, of Pittsfeid.
He Vas brilliant man. of great strength,
and held some high offices, the latest being
that Of commissioner under the treaty Of
Washington. He could have been Cover
nor and almost anything else, but he would
rather put on slouch hat and go a fishing
than exert himself overland. Another pub
Governorship than he will ever be again is
so lazy that his friends can not poke him
up to any work, and he vegetates in small
town, smoking and reading papers and
books. Keen wits, brilliancy of mind, and
extraordinary talents seen continually CO.
Joined with bodily Incidence.
But, after all, lazy man is to be admired
in these rushings, toilng days when heart
disease is on the increase, and men watch
the ticker and drop dead with excite
ment at an unfavorable quotation. | don't
believe man destitute of the capacity to
loaf once in while has much staying pow
er. Men need to lie fallow occasionally.
Rev. DIR. Bellows Of New York used to be-
take himself, in his summer vacation, to the
woods of Maine where, with several barrels
of onions, he would fish and read all the
summer He dearly loved onions, never ate
them in New York, bur made up for his abb
stinence from that sonoric vegetable when
I" off duty y."-B0ston Cor. Detroit Times.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-04-02
WHAT THE EDITORS ARE SAYING.

A mans education is not complete until
he runs a newspaper for awhile. Then he
learns a good deal that he did not know be-
FORE Gdircston Nelcs.
One thing must be said in favor Of the
Missouri men who go to Washington. If
they don't see what they want they are not
afraid to ask for it, Giobe- Democrat
There can only be one objection to send
ing Mr. Thurman to Paris. His waving red
bandana may stimulate the Commune TO
resume business at the old stand.-Macon
(Gd.l 7eieg rPh
The Holmes monograph on Emerson
leaves one with the idea that Emerson
was fond of pie. He may have been fond
of other things, but pie is most prominent.
Neio Orleans Picdyuae.
Public Office is PROFESSIONALLY apublic
trust-and nothing more-in the case Of the
postmastership at Cannon, Oconee County,
5. c., where the incumbent receives the
munfcent salary of$l.58 per annum.-News
and Courier.
DR.. Lawson TAFT has discovered that the
hearing of women is more accute than that
of men. Husbands attempting to go up
stairs without making any noise found that
out long before DR.. TAFT did.-Portiand Me-
Argus.
When Barrios secs the United States Ma
w, considerable part Of which has peen
ordered to Central America, it is expected
that he will lay down his arms and fee to
the mountains. The United States Navy
is not much on efficiency, but it il great on
Appearances Baltimore american.
A lady gardener in town, who believes in
early vegetables, sowed, as she supposed.
some mustard seed, and, after patiently
waiting for the plants oput in an appear
ance found on investigating that she had
sown lot Of gunpowder belonging to her
son-in-law-G Georgetown IS. Cl Enquirer.
A journalist may never become news
paper man in one respect, but a mere news
paper man can never be journalist. The
terms should be used with discrimination.
Journalist should be synonymous with edi-
tor, and newspaper man ia term that COW
ers the business and mechanical parts Of
the profession, though In rough sense, it
sthe wisest -Housl0n Texdsl Journal
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-04-02
Mount Parvo Institute

Mount Parvo Institute,
CHARLEsTowN, JEFF. COUNTY, w. VA,
A BOARDING AND DAY SCHOOL FOR
N YOUNG LADIES, will be opened Septem-
Der 18th, 1884. under the management OF
MRS. BELLE w. GALLAHER
MISS AUGUSTAV V. WILSON.
\ thorough course of instruction in the usual
branches Of an English education will be given
and competent teachers will prepare students
in Ancient and Modern Languages for admis-
sion into any Collegiate Institution.
No requisite of first-class school will be
omitted.
TERMS Board per aoholaStic year. SiGo :
Tuition, S25 TO Si0 Board from Monday morn
ing to Friday evening. Sl20 per year; Music,
$50; Use Of Piano -.
FACULTY:
Mrs BELLE w. GALLAHEE,
Miss A. Y. WILSON.
English Branches and Mathematics.
Miss EMMA J. sHIrLEY,
Languages.
Miss Shipley is a native Of Virginia. lady
who has had the advantages Of European edu-
cation and travel and extensive experience rs
teacher i'm prominent institutions in the North,
including the Free Academy of Norwich, Con-
necticut. one of the most celebrated schools in
New England.
Musc-Instrumental and Vocal
Miss f. L. WILLIAMS,
"a lady of unquestionable ability and large
experience rs a teacher.
REFERENCES
Bishop \. w. Wilson, d. D., Ii. D., Balti
more, Nd.
Rev. o. z. Fitzgerald, ID. D., Editor of the
Christian AdrOcate, Nashville, Tennessee.
Rev W p Harrison. d. d., Nashville, Ten.
Hon. Eugene VI. Wilson, Minneapolis Mimi
Rev Z. IL Whisner, d. D., Winchester. Va
Rev. J. L. Shipley, Charlestown, West Va.
Rev. J. Watts Shoaf Baltimore, Nd
Rev. J. f. Armstrong, Shepherdstown, W
Hon w. L. Wilson, late President West Nir
ginia University. Charestown, West Virginia
Rev 4. G. Hopkins, ID. d., CharlestOwn.
Hon. VIM. II. Travers. Charlestown.
Rev. \. J. Huntington, d. D., Prof Column
bian University, Washington City, ID. c.
Rev r. n Baer. ID. d.. Washington City.
Rev. w. ;. Edwards D. d., Washington City.
Rev. :. 6. Ferguson, Mooreheld, W. Va
Hon. Jno. Blair Hoge, Washington City.
Rev. Dallas Tucker, Charlestown, w. Va.
John Hess, ESQ, County Superintendent OF
Public Schools, Kearneysville, jeff. Co., w Va.
Rev r. r. ;. Hough, NJ. d., Baltimore.
Rev. VIM H. Meade, D. d., Philadelphia.
Hon. c. J. Faulkner, Martinsburg, W. Va.
Rev J. \. McCauley, d. D., IL D. Presi.
dent of Dickinson College, Carlisle, Pa.
George w. Corner, Esq, Baltimore.
Robert Cathcart Esq, Baltimore.
Rev T. b. Shepherd. Bayard Warren Co. Va.
Mrs. ;. c. Trueheart, President of Stanford
Female College, Stanford, Kentucky.
Rev. \. H. Ames, NJ. d., Baltimore.
For Circulars apply to the
PRINCIPALS.
CuAr1 rsroWN IrrF Co " Va
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-04-02
A'ireinia ftee gress.
TERNIS:

~TuE FEre PRE-- B, published weekly al.
~ poNas a.i f.r'y tss.s l, A.ataft
c- one Dollar f.t Iteis-tr Cents fU ~
Wtis
Iae terms or advertising arr, fora l1are
.ore-iuel. or less O.,e Dau tsd tH'g -ea'.
f,rtlree iuscrtious-ltr-er ones iu che same
tr1u1rtion. Each continuance fg,y tcas.
5-No advertisement to De considered 0y
-hr month 5r wear unless specidcd on the mn-
gscript. or previously agreed between the par
Ties
-Au advertisement moo marked ON lhc
..ny fora specified number of insertions VIII
b. Continued uul. ordered out. and payment
viii be- cy.ctei accordingly.
Rr.,rItr yEErlsEtANl~. 10 avoid
arr rulsunderslandins 0u the part of The an-
rrlI advertiser, b. is proper OBJ state f.s,ti--ly
fnlf tle.r privilege only extends OBJ their lm-
mediate business Real Estate. Le5l. or other
advertisements sent 5y them -o Poe au addition
III charge and uo variation.
e-O5itairy notices ot more than 1--WE lines
viii De charged i1r.
JOB WORK Posters sale Bils. Circulars.
Cards. etc. executed promptly neatly and at
tur prices
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-04-02
Tie jefferson Co. Mutual
Fire Insurance Company.
ESTABLISHED 1873.

OFFERS to the people OF Jefferson County,
" Insurance i'm q safe Company at the actual
cost of insurance, which is much cheaper than
the rates usually charged, and keeps the money
at home. Good risks from responsible parties
are invited.
Executive Committee meets every Friday.
DrREcroEs-N. :. White, Henry b. Daven-
port. j. Garland Hurst John W. Rider, w. II.
T. Lewis, H. Preston Chew, VIM. l.. Wilson,
Eugene Baker :. W. Washington, James Logic,
Charles T. Wilson John II. little, Jacob ;.
Melvin. T. g. ". Herr. .saac H. Strider.
y : VIII rE.......... ........ ......... President.
II. B. DANENfOkI............. ....--... treasurer.
EXECUTIVE CoNNIrTEE-N. :. White VIM.
q T. Lewis Eugene Baker, Isaac II. Strider,
T. T. Chew =. W. Washington.
Local AcENrs.-M -MidUieway-J. G.. Shirley
Neuueysyiie-J. G.. Bitner Harpers Ferry
Chas Z Trail. Shepherds,own-H. G. Entler
DuMelds-C L. Blrnhart; Charlest0wn-
/ Washington ~ Alexander.
.EG-The Secretary Will be found at the Com
panys Office Gibson Building, Court-House
yard, ia CharlcstOwn.
r. \. ALEXANDER,
Feb. 2l lSS4 Secretary.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-04-02

At the museum: ooh, look at that In
dian. with his feather head-dress." He :
"Yes, fine feathers" She: Well, why does
the Indian wear them that way?" He:
" To keep his wigwam."