Savannah morning news., 1885-02-26
BRIGHT BITS.

| TIGHT, But SLOW
Oh it's q snug little island,
right little, tight little island;
But 1t seems rather tardy
In catching FL Mahdi,
| Who lives in the warm little Nile land.
| Tile INDEPENDENT.
d., AN ARTIST of some talent. finding him
self short of money, sent for a picture dealer
| and asked: ''What will you give me for this
| pictureI" Twenty francs " You must be
| joking! Twenty francs? l have not reached
starvation point yet, l can tell you" The
| dealer cooly replied: "Nery good; l can
| wait."-JOUrRdL de la SeDlGine.
The first stanza OF the Kentocky morning
! hymn, as found in the Louisville Courier Jour
| nal. Is as follows:
o, what is Grover Cleveland thinking?
Sees he the politicians WlnklngI
Knows he whose hearts will soon be sinking?
| Sees he the star-eyed goddess blinking2
o, what is Grover Cleveland thinking?
AMAN arose in a revival meeting in Chica-
| go few evenings ago and said that a year
| age he was so bad that he didn't feel fit to live
| and used to wander about the city wishing
| somebody would sand-bag him. Then an
| other convert arose and said he could beat
| that. 4 year ago he was so bad that If he had
| met the other brother wandering around he
would certainly have saud-bagged him.
"WHERE did you go to church this morn
| ing?" inquired a London husband OF his wife.
| ITO St. Pauls."
"How did you enjoy the service?"
"Not at all That Odious Mary Anderson
| was there"
"How did that affect you?"
| Affect me? Every person was staring at
her. l might just as well have left my new
| bonnet at home"
To A WARM FRIEND
| In this cold and selfish life
Friends are few and lovers few'r-
| FeWest when we most would use 'em.
Fen of sister, mother, wife,
One can never feel secure.
| May he not in sorrow lose 'cmY
| Sin, let come the worst disaster,
| Warm, old friend, dear mustard plaster,
| may press thee to my bosom.
Chicago NeaOs.
"HAvE you noticed how Mary D. has
changed of late?" asked stately beauty, ca
ressing a dlminutive black and-tan, whose
| collar was ornamented with silver bells.
whats the matter with herP was the
query.
and her maid informs me that she has not fed
| her dog once since her marriage; has scarcely
noticed him, in fact. She actually seems to
| prefer the society OF her husband"
| Excl9matiOns of astonishment.-BOStOnC COW-
rier.
''SEE what it is to be pOOr!' he exclaimed,
| as he stood shivering in a doorway. Hun
| gry?" queried the other. well, I'm always
! hungry, for that matter; but just now man
| whom | fell against on the corner got mad
| a out it, and offered to lick me for two cents"
"And you hadn't the money! "COuldnt
| possibly raise a red cent, and | told him so,
|
rich either ought to come down on their prices
! or the poor have some new way OF making
| money. 4 licking would have warmed me up
| for a whole week."-Detr0it Free Press.
"H'l see," said an Englishman, shat Rich
| ard Grant White declares that no matter how
| long q COrnishman or 1orkshiremen lives in
| this country e carn't get rid of the peculiari-
ties of speech e took up in hinfancy. This is
mistake. | ave only been ERE ten years, and
| can deceive any one as to the place of my ma
| tive 'ome." probably Mr.. White did not
think Of you," some one replied 'Yes, but
| what right 'as e to make such assertion? II
| White should talk to me, I'd simply say, Mr..
| White, git h'out. You don't know good
| Hinglsh from a ole in the ground. '"-Arkdn-
sdJo TraUetIer.
OUT on the Burlington and Missouri River
Railroad, Nebraska, they imported pas
/ senger brakeman from Boston. There is
/ heap OF Boston talent on the b. q M, but this
| young man was refined until ne was about l20
| proof. He ran on the Beatrice branch, which
| everybody IN Nebraska knows is called to
rhyme with "the mattress" And when this
new man looked in at the door and shouted
"Bay-ah- treet- -chee Bay ah- -treet-chee!" !" the
entire community rose up as one man and
| piled on TO him by thousands. Thanks to the
| severity of the weather, his remains reached
| fremont street in a state of excellent preser-
vation.-Burdette.