The Russellville Democrat., 1885-06-25
A Fly PAPER.


be. Nobody never need to excuse their
flies 10 me. Ii they'd been where
! there want no flies, as | have, and
where the poor critters was jest a-hunt-
ed and a-eone-at from morning till
night, they d never lift their hands agin
'em as long as they drawed the breath
o. life. y
Miss Semanthy Simmons remark
seemed to be understood by her audi
ence. Notwithstanding the fact that she
had her 'twster," two side-combs and
some hair-pns in her mouth Semanthy
! was spending the afternoon at a neigh
boris. her first call since her return from
I the city. and. for fear that some one
would call to detain her. had "jest taken
her hands out o the dish-water, put on
clean apron and scooted." This was
the lady's apology for not having dressed
her hair.at home.
YES, do mean to say that flies don't
have no privileges where I've been.
if she catches sight o. one. They've got
blinds and shutters and screens and lace
cuttings and swing doors, and every
hired gal has feather buster three yards
long, and sticks with frizzled paper
f. SluCh W till- anu ltttlt DuD-Su6o bHdJ
they put sneezing powder into and blow
at EN-, and | rally believe that if hum
dred or two of them unforiinit critters
should git in unbeknownst to 'em they'd
order out the militia. Oh, it's easy to
say: oh, Semanthy!' but if you had I'M
derwent what have from their thrash
ing and shooting and extermipating the
air, don't know what you'd do. You
know in this house. if anybody knows,
that / don't git much chance to sew
when I'm to hum, and so SEE / to my
self: I'll jeff take my crazy bed-quIlt
to Cousin Gusty's. and as they never
will let me wash dishes or pulitzer round
any, why, it stands to reason / can git
lot done Did II No, didn't That
quilt is crazier than when / took it
eway; for, what with jumping up every
other minute to see if / couldn't get IA
crack o. light so that / could tell yaller
from green, and blue from cinnament
brown, the hull thing is in that state
that 'twould make lunatic of any
body who'd ever try to Git it to-
gether.
Gould have shelter open if was
mind to? Didn't tell you that
couldn't? My cousin Gusty is pious
woman, and amt going ter say to the
contrary, but / believe she'd ruther L d
"a broke five out of ten of the command
ments than to took out one o. her
screens. You don't think it speaks
very well for her pietyP Well, l don't
know. Folks is about as they're made,
I've dskivered, in. New York as well
as in Yarmouth. You know in this
house, too. that | never set my heart on
fimmydiddles, but didn't skasely know
myself in regards TO that crazy quilt,
did banker so to git it along. Why I've
craned my neck till I've had the neu-
ralagy for week trying to tell which
was luther OF my silks. I've got up in
cheer and lit the gas continuance that
hung down from the wall--lor sakes!
'twould go off like a pistol every time.
and scare me een-a' most out out o. my
wits-and there I'd stand, and jab at
the eye o. my needle for all the world
as if | was spearing for eels, like n
pesky fool. till my knees would tremble
as il / had the ager. Why didn't Fsay
that I'd brung work with me and
wanted TO do it? So | did more'n a
hundred times. As quick as I'd say
that, cousin'd say: Come down to the
sewing-room, Cousin Semanthy, and
let the seamstress help YOU Gracious
sakes! / amt a-fishing round for help.
seq l. l amt no cripple. The only
thing that's lacking, Cousin Gusty is
light enough to see to thread my needle.
) If | was owl could do it in the dark,
but being nothing but poor human
bat, | amt able to see through all them
thicknesses that's up to my winder.'
"What would she say? Oh, she'd
smile kinder amused Ike, and that
would be the eend of it, One day /
Jest spoke my mind about them screens
and things. I'd clum up to the gas,
and I'd clum up to the winder, and I'd
squinted and twisted my neck till was
As full of cricks and kinks as a egg is
o meat hadn't been rally riled till
then, and then my dander was clean
up. SEE /, Cousin Gusty, whatever is
the matter with you about flies?'
About flies, said she; Il don't under
stand YOU, Semanthy.' 'Wa'al, said
|, 4 should think that anybody that had
both cold and billing water let into EN-
through the wall, and wash-tubs and
rubbing-boards ready to their hands,
wouldn't be quite so pertikeler about
sling their things Why, seq 1, Il
could cIear-starch them cuttings and
all the rest of the flummery in this room
in no time. For PHYS sake, SEE /,
Cousin Gusty, do let me east aside
some OF that supertlumsiness of kiver-
lids, and allow the light o. day to shine
in upon my crazy quilt, and upon your
Cousin Semanthy, who is nigh about as
crazy as her spread. You don't see
how she could get around that? Wa'al,
nuther. When my dander is once riz.
then my mouth is more Ike mill
stream afore it's damned than anything
/ can compare it to. There amt never
no lack of oratorical powers when I'm
once swelled up with my subject. What
did Gusty say? Oh, she spoke about
the delikit paper on the wall, and about
the frisco overhead whether she meant
San-frisco or not | don't know and
poked the sewing-room and seamstress
under my rose agin, and that's all that
amounted TO. And what do you think
That woman actooally told me that she
never had her lace cuttings, or her bu-
reau fIills, or her counterpins, or her
shammies, done up TO hum. With all
that water pouring into the house. and
all the hired help stannin' round, and
soap by the box, and clear-starch by
tho hundred-weightl That took tho
stiflening out o me, and jest lifted ~.
my hands, and een-a' most went.
cousin Gusty do anything Wa'al,
ahnulIn'f call IL dainty anxthiuO. she