The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1885-01-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUmDR OF THE DAY.
An Indiana school teacher arrested
man for kissing her without permission.
Verdict-not guilty on account of in
sanity.
A young lady who was blamed for al
lowing her glove to be discovered in
young mans pocket stated that she had
no hand in it.
''Sing the upper notes p said friend
of ours who was enthusiastic over the ac-
complishments of a renowned soprano,
''she sings so high that it would make a
woodpecker dizzy"
"Distrust the man who tells you to
distrust," says Ella Wheeler. And so
we do, Mrs. Wilcox. But, on the other
hand, must we trust the man who tells
us to trust? Not by jug full.
The novel of the future will begin:
''The full, bright moon was just silver
ing the tree-tops when solitary coach
man, with rope-ladder under his arm,
was seen vending his way" etc.
''What is more awful to contemplate"
said a lecturer, glazing about him, ethan
the relentless power of the maelstrom ?"
And a henpecked looking man in the
rear of the building softly replied, "the
| femalestrom."
| Very big boy-"Please, Miss Blank, l
don't think father would like to have me
kept in after school" Pretty young
teacher-"Why not, if he knows it is for
breaking the rules % Big boy-''This is
leap year, you know" She let him off.
| They came very near securing Down
East schoolma'am to teach little school
in Kansas, but when the committee told
her that it was con the bare PRAIRIE"
she screamed and said she couldn't think
of going to such an immodest place.
The editor of the Posey County Weekly
Falsifer is in trouble. A lady gave him
two young CANNES and he acknowledged
the favor by saying that Mrs. Jerusha
Parkinson presented us with two sweetly
interesting pugs. The printer made it
"hugs," and the lady's husband stirred
up the unfortunate editor with a hickory
hoop-pole and cuspadore.
How A Hoe ROOTED UP Cry A
correspondent writes that he has just re-
turned from the shores of Lake Superior,
where he spent some time visiting the
copper regions, said to be the greatest in
the world. Throughout the rocky, bar
rem Keweenaw Peninsula, good for moth
ing as farming lands, the immense copper
deposits have caused large towns to spring
up and they now give employment to
tens of thousands of men. About eigh-
teen years ago pig strayed from the
drove to which it belonged and fell into
a pit on the spot where Calumet now
stands. In roofing about it uncovered 9
mass of native copper, and showed to the
world the location of the greatest copper
mine it has ever known. As the result
of that pigs roofing, humanity is nov
S35, DOC, 900 richer, in the use of the cop
per, there discovered, and the stock
holders who, aided by the pig, hav
helped the world to this wealth, have re
ceived about S25, 900 for thei
. trouble. A town of 5000 inhabitant
has gathered about the pigs hole, an
; nearly 1000 men are employed in opel
ating the mines beneath it,
"Make your husbands comfortable a
! home and they won't go out evenings.
So says an exchange. An Arizona pape
; observed that this would not work i
l Yuma. 1t says: "Several of our goo
wives tried the experiment with poo
success. When it was ascertained tina
!, it took dozen bottles of beer, deck G
! cards, box of cigars and half doze
u boon companions to make the old ma
comfortable, the ladies concluded it woul
not pay to convert every home into a IS
loon, so they allow their liege lords
. 'whoop her up in the various places d.
y voted solely to that purpose"
! -
d A STREET PAVED WITH GOLD. Or
9 day last week, says the Placer (Cal
II Herald of Dec. 27, little Charley Smit
y picked up piece of gold that had bee
g washed bare by the rain on Nevada sire
a in Auburn, that weighed about $50
y Last Wednesday morning H. Erie
% picked up piece worth about $3.50 b
tween his store and the Orleans Hott
NJ and the same morning stranger foul
81 near the same place, piece of quartz
ar which was several dollars. Yesterd
,e George Joninon found piece worth
m or So.
T. The British Benevolent Society has
re sued letter warning people of SIN
~ means to stay away from California. L
y immigration Association is doing t
OF same thing. 1t is about time that t
u senseless encouragement Of immigrar
SO should cease. 1t has been the custom
u call out for more immij grants witho
re reference to the room the re is for the
Ia California can accommod ate thousan
le more but they must CO me gradual
10 rs. T. Report.
A new mine has recently been open
u u at Bald Mountain, New. The led
-, which was ten inches in width on
- surface, has increased to tel feet in vic
70 at depth of eighteen feet 1t is said
g be a well. defined gold bearing quartz v