St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-12-26
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Merchant Traveller.
The new Mahdi has mustered his forces.
The British have mustard their beef. Let
the merry war go on.-Philadelphia Press.
He was a mean young husband who
begged his wife not to make any more cake
until he had paid his life insurance Dues
Fall River Advance.
A New Jersey man eXtravagantly offers
$500 for proof that the earth revolves. He
could convince himself for IS by simply
getting drunk. -SomervIle Journal.
A Baltimore man has discovered new
brand OF soothing syrup. 1t is used for the
purpose OF keeping saws quiet while cut
ting teeth.-California Maverick.
A Benicia woman was splitting kindling-
wood the other morning and bit her tongue
in two. Now every Bencia woman is
Striking kindling-wood Duties California
Maverick.
why should the soldier never lose his
head in battle?" said German captain to a
private soldier. because, if he did he
would not have any place to put his cap
on. Texas Siftings
''Give us the ballot-b ox,' is the cry of
but very few Of the fair sex, while the rest
of our feminine population is content with
being allowed to frequently stuff the band
Herald
At table-The master OF the house. after
turning chicken over and over in every
possible way-''How would you carve that
bird?"
"Hot," replied guest.-Goodalrs Sun.
The notion used to prevail that life could
be prolonged by inhaling the breath of
young women. Since the onion became an
article of commerce this notion languished.
Burlington Free Press.
Bob!'
ITO keep them warm.'
sob, I thought probably it was to keep
them from getting away from you. ken
lucky State Journal.
The first choice in colors of all children
under seven is said to be yellow. When
you stop to consider, it is only natural that
young child should prefer yellow. 1t is
apt to be weller itself.-Somerville Jour
nal.
A Kentuclian has recently patented
gin-saw. We don't know what a gin-saw
is used for, but suppose it is intended to
saw off his breath. Bet he'll break every
tooth out of it if he uses it for that purpose.
California Maverick.
STUDENT have been thinking upon the
subject of the alarming prevalence of di-
vorces, and I always believe 1 have dis
covered the cause.
Professor (delighted)- yes; what
is it,
Student-Marriage. -Tid-Bits.
The Judge Ito female witness)-How old
are you, MADAME
The witness-Why, you see, l am not
quite sure about it. Judge. Lah-
The Judge turning to the jury)-Gentle-
men, she says she is past thirty. -Goodalrs
Sun.
A composition of one of the boys in a
West Side school was as follows: Girls
is the only folks what has her own way
every time and allus does what they is a
mind to and don't care nothing about no.
body else and father says the less | know
about them the better off am."-Chicago
Telegram.
Professor Bell. of telephone fame. says
the time is coming when people will be able
to see as well as to hear one another at long
distances. We fear this will not benefit the
young man who wants to see man" be-
tween the acts of theatrical performance.
He wants to be right along side of the
imam" when he sees him. No long dis
lance interviewing for the entr acte Gend.
Chicago Telegram.