The National tribune., 1885-05-07
TRIBUNETS.

Louisville Coprier-Journol: Sir, can you give a
poor man a quarter?" Why you asking aims
my man?" Il have just come from Spain. sir;
aim an earthquake sufferer" But you not a
Spaniard; you speak good English" so, to
that, speak Spanish. but. since The earthquakes,
my Spanish is SO broken that am ashamed TO con-
verse in it,"
Boston Courier: Smith keeps n savage dog on his
premises and near its kennel board is displayed
with the warning in large letters, Beware of the
dog"
suppose" said Jones, pointing to the warn
Ing, you have painted that sign in large letters so
that he who runs may read.'''
No. said Smith, but that he who reads may
run"
Bloomington Through MaR: A fellow was stand
ing at the corner of Center and jefferson street
Sunday morning, looking as if he had lost all his
wife's relations and 100 per cent of his friends,
when gentleman accosted him with the remark !:
My friend, you look very, very sad"
Yaw, guess dot vas so. / vas feel purdy p,ue
mid mineseiluf, you vas youst ped your schveed
lfe.'
What Is the matter? Are You ili?"
well. nod qwde, pud vas pudy seek"
What is the nature of your disease?"
well, dond got some oaf dose tings you vas
call disease. / vas not seek nit mine ped ill., vas
dond care very mouch vedder 1 vas live a good
deal or gone teat leedle.'
Have some Of your friends died?"
Nein. Dot vas nod so. Nobody has been teat."
I'm heavens name, what ais your"
Il vas fought vas found guarder, pud it vas
only nigel mine frient. Holy Moses, veesh 1
vas gone teat"
Another International alliance has come to grief
In pursuance of one of the incouprehensible whims
that frequently move the feminine heart. Miss Ella
RonsaIl TntSy rirl of dal-
phia, united herself in marriage last February with
Matsada Sorakichi. the great japanese wrestler
but she has wearied of her slant eyed lover who
has given her infinitely more kicks and cuffs than
coppers. and capt the climax of his insult, by
tearing up her S65 velvet cloak She refuses to live
any longer with him, and worse still, tells the
porters:
Il used to go and hurrah when he was wrest-
ling, just to cheer him up, but I'll never do SO
again"
Miss Nettie Sayre, of Lexington, KY, furnishes
us another instance of the rapidity with which
woman change her mind. She had got as far
as tile depot on her elopement, had her trunks
there, aud the young with whom she was TO
elope was on hand with his trunk and tickets for
two. just then Mr.. Milton Smith rushed in.
spoke a few words to the damsel, whereat she
walked out Of the depot with him and to the
County Clerks Office. where license taken
out and they were married.
Louisville Post: The hurting of an egg in the
direction of His Royal Highness in Cork plainly
an attemp. by the Irish to throw Off the yok.
The English war party is so strongly Disguised
with Gladstone's Discrimination to fight that it loses
no opportunity to compare him disadvantageously
with his great rival, Dsraei, who always protested
to be ready to so to-war. The primrose was the
Earl of Beaconsfeld's favorte flower, and primrose
festivals were held all over England recently, the
illustrated papers had primrose numbers" and
the Queen had primrose wreath laid on the great
jews tomb. Punch had fine cartoon last week,
representing Gladstone the lachrymose Mrs.
Gummidse. sitting disconsoiate st the Preside
grooming: - amt what could wish myself to be.
My troubles has made me contrary. make the
house uncomfortable don't wonder at it," John
Bull, as Peggotty, points over his shoulder with
pipestem to portrait Of Disraeli on the wall and
says: "She's been thinking of the old 'un."
1t will be disappointment to many people
to learn that the Commandments in the revised
edition of tic Old Testament are just many. and
interfere with just as many things that they may
want to do. as in the old edition.