The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-03-01

draped in gloon" and her deficiencies in re-
gard to other drapery will not be 20 agonizingiy
apparent.
English as she is spoke for 81 so a day.
Street car driver, after heavy snow: This here
track needs to be drug bad it hain't been drug
since yesterday and it had orter be drug right
off,
In Michigan the roller skate has found its true
mission. The Kalamazoo Hospital for the In
sane has roller rink for its inmates. The luna
tics are said to enter into the sport with great
zest, and when skating are not distinguishable
from sane folks
Stone china is said to convey contagion by
means OF germs lodging in the cracks If the
bellies of our kitchens can be persuaded to be-
lieve that cracked cups and saucers will bring
them in contact with cholera what golden age
will dawn for housekeepers
Progress says II journalism told the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth, it would
destroy society. And vice versa, if society told
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, journalism's occupation would be gone.
The Canadian clergy are now preaching
against tobogganing. AS far off as We stand,
the roller skate and the round dance seem angels
of light compared with the toboggan. OF course
there is a certain variety of fun in fellows
coasting down hill with his feet in the lap of the
girl in front of him and his arms around hep
neck; while the girl behind him has her feet in
his lap and her arms about his neck AS O
means Of grace, however, the deadly toboggan
must be counted out
A writer in a recent Boston paper arises to
make a furious onslaught against the umbrella
He has evidently been in crowd, and has been
poked in the eye, jabbed il the back, and had
his hat knocked off once too often and is there
by moved to pronounce the umbrella relic Of
barbarism, and also to demand its immediate
retirement. He says, and justly, that the UNI
orela takes up as much room e.
wheelbarrow or bicycle, and Is
deadlier weapon than either; that
it is nuisance when open and nuisance when
closed and nuisance any way you fix 1t. In
this age of rubber coats. broad, dropping
brimmed rubber hat could be made to supersede
the umbrella, and make rainy weather pedes-
trianism thing of beauty, instead of the vexa-
ton forever that it now is. Down with the UNI
brella! Long live the rubberhat!
The Random Noter is prompted to comment
upon the difficulties which beset the path OF
those who buy the new novels of the day. Fresh
fiction is so plenty, and is so Unfortunately
lauded by publishers ct al, that it must needs be
a very wary and knowing individual WIN IN NOT
occasionally mised in purchasing. Did you ever
buy novel that was so unmtigatedly trashy
that you couldn't conscientiously lend it, or give
it away-you couldn't use it on the pantry
shelves or to wrap up bundles, or even sell
it for old iron-and every time your
funds ran low the ghost of the dollar and half
you paid for it would pop up ard jeer at youi
If you have experienced this species of misery
you will indorse the statement that it behooves
every humane person who has fallen foul of
really good novel to publish that fact far and
wide. Some wseacre has decided that there are
four things which can never be safely recon-
mended, viz minister novel, a dress maker
and washerwoman In spite Of this warning.
the Noter takes his life in his hand, and recon-
mends to all lovers of truly good work the
story of Ramona" by Helen Hunt jackson
The reviewers have reviewed it; now let out
siders praise it. 1t is story which claims at
tention from the first word unto the last. tits
be justly proud; woman's novel in which all
women should glory AS 'Ben Hur' among
men, SO stands Ramona" among women; truly
a matchless pair to put to shame the old cry,
"Who reads an American novell"