Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-02-14
JARPHLY'S RECEIPT.
HE THINKS A Dish OF HERBS BET
TER THAN A STAlL-FEO OK.
At the Dinner Table In . Cranky Humor
Carrots and Caoer Sauce-Mr.
Jarphly Expresses His Sat-
isfactiOn-The Cost.
rpittsbure Chronicle-Telegraph.l

aMartl A." testify remarked Mr.. Jarphly,
@why in thunder can't you do things nice,
like other womenr Mr.. Jarphly was seated
at the dinner table in q very cranky humor.
He had had hot discussion with q man
ur,on civil-service reform, and the man told
him he knew nothing about the matter, and
called him q @galoot." Not only had he
called Mr.. Jarphly "galoot," but he had
added injury to insult by citing facts and
figures to prove It He was Q bigger man
than Mr. Jarphly, so the latter had bottled
up his wrath and brought it home for his
wife
Some men have hat habit
@Why can't you get up appetizing dishes
like other womenl' continued the disguised
civil-service reformer.
@Why, l can, Jeremiah, quietly remarked
Mrs Jarphly, whose complacency was not
to be disturbed BY any ebullition of temper
ON the part of the reformer, for the lady had
that morning spent three hours in engineer
ing dilapidated polonaise into basque to
match dark overskirt; and having, by the
assistance Of much pursuing Of lips and
bending Of eyebrows, and navigating OF
scissors-p points in geometrical lines over her
knees, accomplished the feat, felt placid
equanimity known to all true women who
have conquered dilapldated polonaise.
mo, you don't" snapped Mr.. Jarphly.
@You spend money enough for things, but
you amt got the know howl"
Mrs Jarphly smiled, and Mr.. Jarphly
wondered if he could borrow money enough
to take him to Alaska
There's Mrs. Pioughgit.n he continued.
SWhy can't you cook like heri went to
dinner the other day with Ploughgit, and
what do You suppose they hadp
"What!'
sThey had lots Of things but what took
my eye was some carrotsl My, but they
were delicious. didn't eat anything else
nothing but just those carrotsl They'd been
sliced and fried, and Mrs Ploughgit had
them fixed lit with q white sauce with some
sort Of sour things in it-a, what do you
call 'emr
~Capersr suggested Mrs Jarphly.
"Yes, caperx tell you, but it was an i'm
mense dish"
sMrs Ploughgit mebbs can afford such
things" quietly remarked Mrs Jarphly.
"Afordr cried Jarphl. inderision "Wby,
l asked her, and what do you think it costr'
sHow muchr
1.-TWO cents!" fairly yelled Jarphly. "Yes'm,
cents! That's what it costs Mrs. Ploughgit
to get up q dish fit to set before king! She
used two big carrots, and they cost her just
cent apiece in the market, shs told me. Now,
why can't you do something like that?n
Mrs. Jarphly opened her lips to make a re-
DIV, but like a sensible woman closed them
again, and allowed Mr. Jarphly to enjoy his
Ill humor.
At dinner next day Mr.. Jarphly found a
dish Of fried carrots done up with sauce in q
style that beat Mrs Ploughgit's all hollow.
~Well, declare, Martha" he exclaimed,
you do know something. These are splen-
did"
Mrs. Jarphly smiled.
Mr.. Jarphly vigorously applied himself to
the dish. "Now just look how well we can
live on . little expsntiture il we can only
have the know how he remarked with q
feeling Of self-laudation, for having impreg-
mated Mrs Jarphly's mind with a notion Of
dressed carrots SThat's as good as roast
beef to me any day, or spring chicken
either" said he, "and if you'd only use a lit.
tie skill and brains you could easily save
enough out Of the table money to buy your.
self spring silk every year"
@Not on carrots, quietly remarked Mrs
Jarphly.
@What!n exclaimed her husband.
@Not ON carrots, Jeremiah I'd just as
lief, SO far as expense goes, give You spring
chicken or roast turkey, for that matter"
"Why, Martha, you must be crazy!" cried
Mr.. Jarphly.
mot at all" placidly responded Mrs.
Jarphly. "You wanted carrots done up
like Mrs. Ploughgit's and I did 'em for you.
They cost about 6 shillinga"
"Go away"
Fact" coolly replied Mrs. yarphly.
@How in thunder do you make that outf'
Carrots, 9 cents Half pound of butter
to fry them brown in, 16 cents Quart of
milk for sauce, 8 cents Two eggs to break
in the sauce, cents Bottle Of capers, 4O
cents Half teaspoonful Of Liebig's to
give piquant to the sauce flavor, 50 cents a
small jar. OF course-"
"Oh. shut up!"
Jeremiah, the next time you discover q
dish can save up spring silk on just
bring it around, won't your and Mrs.
Jarphly smiled a smile Of triumph.