The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1885-12-31
VII AND HUMOR.

vi WV NHlCu tt'lENlN spcut III
than twelve months Mrs. Cal
evidently read the dry-goods advog
ments. = LoUiSUiAc C0RScy-jourBaL
Those who have tried it say that
they would rather be struck three
times by lightning than once by n
lightning-rod peddlor; and yet some
people think that lightning hurts
Nc,0mdn Mdereadeah
In Cincinnati the observation-disclosures
have q powder that they sprinkle over
small oysters, causing them to swell;
and you will often meet young men in
Boston who seem to have been sprlnk-
led with this same powder. boston
Commercial EultetiR,
A learned Professor who was asked
the question, ''What is cholcraP" re-
piled: "Cholera is u poisoning by
m@mia, by cho,mmis, by extractihe-
mia; analogous 10 what is produced by
ptomaines, analogous to 'choIer'
stibio' or to cholera arSenical.'
mighty poor dogs sometimes
fine sausage-mcat. This show
far the education of dumb brut,
advanced within the past few @
We have no doubt that in time
can be hired to perform many
monial duties for which we are
obliged to pay high wages.
ton Free Press.
II don't soc why pennies wei
vented" said u New York banker So .o
had received few in change.
"Oh, that's easily accounted
remarked friend from an adj
city; 'pennics were Invented to e
New York millionaires to CONT
toward the erection of public
ments. "-BoS!oR Globe.
A burglar who attempted to en-
house in Sacramento was caught fast
in tho window; and the woman armed
herself with a potato-masher, drew up
a chair, and sat there and tapped his
head for half ali hour before calling the
police. She said she had always just
ached to pound man all she wanted
to.-St. Louis roSt- Dispatch.
Milkmau: Johnny, did you put
water in the milk this morningP" New
assistant: Yes, sir" did you
know that is wicked, JohnnyP' "But
you told me to mix water with the
milk YES, but l told you TO put
water in first and pour the milk into
it. Then, you see, we can tell the PEG.
pie we never put water in our mix. "
Albany argus.
The class in metcorology at the Uni
versity of Texas was up for oXamina-
ton.
Has the mean temperature increas-
ed or fallen off during the last three
centuries?" asked the professor.
Professor, | can't remember any
thing that happened so far back.
only entered the university last year.
-Ic1as SJttngS.
One of the new members of tho
Georgia Legislature kept quietly in hi.
seat for three hours on his first day in
the House, and then timidly approach
ing u doorkecper said in q whisper: q
-I-I-say, I'd like TO go out, if
YOU don't k-kcer, I--l-won't be gont
but about ten minutes" The door
keeper let him out.
Times are pretty hard with some o
the small brokers in the new Board o.
Trade district. A deaf and dumb MAJ
went into an office in the Open BoarC
OF Trade building the other day and
seIzing a piece OF paper, wrote:
81 am hungry"
The broker took the piece Of paper
read the unhappy words and scrawlet
under them:
80 am L. Chicago Herald.
Hearing 4 noise at night, Jones de
seconds with lighted candle snds dis
covers burglar escaping with full
sack. Hello" he cries. Com,
back, you'll "Eh, wha,?" returns thu
burglar. "Ah, yes-the silver candle
stick! Permit me-" He takes it from
the hand of the astorished Jones and
puts it into his bag. "Ten thousand
thanks. Have l forgotten anything
else?"-Lond9n IId-BitS.
Young mani came in answer tc
the advertisement" Dentist-"Arc
you of a cheerful disposition" "Sir
l could laugh at a funeral and play
checkers in n graveyard" "a thinf
you'll do. | want young man O
good address to issue forth from tht
operating-room at tcn-minute inter
walls, looking as if he enjoyed it.
think it will tend to encourage the rea
victims. - PbHadciah a CAL.
Chief OF Detective Bureau-You wisl
employment on the force, eli? How
would you proceed in delicate inter
view?
Applicant-Oh, I'd skirmish ad"oitlI
for Il while; then. when had succeed
cd in arrcsting his attention, | woul'
"That will do, sir. You can consid
er yourself engaged. Hang me if
don't want man on my force wit
can succeed i'll arresting something o
other. - PHILADELPHIA Cal.
The passenger from Peunsylvani
was complaining Of business down hi
way. Everything dull.
Two years ago, he said, ~ wen
into the oil regions with 3d. 900. DA
before yesterday l pulled cut witt
$3.50, and am going West to get me
farm"
you didn't invest very wisely, dix
you?" remarked the elderly passen
ger.
NO." replied the Pennsylvania
sadly. mot wisely, but in two wells.
-Caicago Heraid
! The New York Tribune, in comment
ing on the recent horse swindlc il
Boston, tells tie following anecdote
1.-The late Tom Appleton of Boston
once offered horse Tor sale, and stat
ed in the advertisement that the onl,
reason he parted with the animal wa
that he wished to leave Boston. |
turned out that this nice family hors
of Appleton's invariably became balkl
when he reached bridge, and hi
owner could not leave Boston withou
crossing u bridge
An Augusta dentist was at work OF
set OF false teeth when the writer en-
tered his sanctum the other day
"These teeth" he said. ''have pc
culiar history. ! made them tor
young lady in Belgrade. She died. o.
her deathbed she gave the set of teetl
to her most intimate friend. Thi
friend brouuht them to me- and am