Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-22
BRIGHT BITS.

FRED. ARCHER Is the most successful jockey
in the world because he picks out winning
horses before he mounts them. There would
be some great doctors in the world if they
could choose their patients.-Ne1o Orleans
PicdV7tRe.
In Michigan they assess dog 81 for being
a dog. In Tennessee they assess man fifty
cents to become doctor. 1t costs half a dol
lar more to be dog in Michigan than a doc
tor in Tennessee. Don't be a dOg.-Battte
Greek (Atch.) Noon.
BRIGHTON Eng landlady. who has just
presented her weekly bill 81 'ope, ma'am, as
you find the bracing air agree with you,
ma'am, and your good gentleman, ma'am."
Lady-"Oh, yes orr appetites are wonder
fully improved! For instance, at home we
eat only two l0aves day, and | find from
your account that here we can manage eight"
Landlady feels uncomfortable.-LOn
Punch.
A MAN whose storehouse had burned down
stood sorrowfully looking at the smoking
ruins. This was an awful mistake" he said
to friend. "A sad loss the friend replied.
1T shows the evil results of bad memory"
"HOw so?" ''Why, If I hadn't forgotten that
the insurance had expired, would not have
left candle burning in-Oh well, it's too sad
to talk ab0ut-it's criminal neglect. '-Ar6dh-
Sd1o TrGDeLer.
A Poor POETS FLIGHT.-
In ecstasy l strOYe To make
hat-rack of the sky;
With the universe for a vestibule
And stars for hat pegs high.
But measly cold is in my head
As a tribute Of the spring,
And to lie in bed while my shirt is washed
Is blamed unpleasant thing.
-Eschanoe.
BOIL the water you use and you will have
no cholera" shouts enthusiast on the sub
ject. 1t is certain that If there is any truth in
this, the strange epidemic now raging in pro-
hlbition Kansas is not cholera. Nothing
cures it but medicine from drug store put
up in pint flask. And how are the unhappy
people who use illinois river water to manage
it? They might fry it, or bake it, or br0il it
but they never can boil it.-ChjcdgO Tribune.
AUGURIEs.-If a certain man is seen on the
bail field again this season, 1t is augured that
he will be leaped upon by the whole nine. 1t
is said that the dog of the Harvard crew
barked three times. then bit the leg Of the
stroke. This augurs i'll for HarYard's sue
cess. crOss-eyed man looked at the shell
and broke il all up. new one has been or
dered, with less risible faculties and sliding
seats. This will no doubt affect the result
Yale Record.
81 REMEMBER" said Detroit boy to his
Sunday school teacher, ''yOu told me always
to stop and count fifty when angry" "Yes?
anger, didn't lt?' you see, a boy he came
into our alley and made faces at me and
dared me to fight. l was going with him. He
was bigger'n me, and I'd have got pulyerlzed.
| remembered what you said and began to
count" And you didn't hghtW "NO,
ma'am. just as | got to forty two my big
brother came along, ana the way he ncked
that boy would have made your mouth water.
| was going to count fifty and then rum
Detroit Free Press.
SHE KNEW THE GAME.
What is the similarity,
Miss Ethel" asked the beau.
Between a game of ball and me?"
Yawned Ethel Il don't know"
''Why IT'S a match. OF course" grinned he
With idiotic bliss,
"ln which miss is caught, you see,
Because | court miss"
GLOW smart" said Ethel, who announced
She had a riddle, too;
"The ball you play with must be bounced;
Why like the ball are youe"
He eyed the clock. because" sighed he
because Pm always 'roundn
80, always! / suppose" said she,
"For runs you are renown'd.'
"Indeed am, and home runs, too
Why. all the bows allow"
"0h, Pm SO glad" she smiled, 'for you
Can make home run now"
Detroit Free Press.