Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-29
BRIGHT BITS.


mails frequently cry. This is not to be Won
dered at. 1t must be an awful strain on the
feelings OF Sc sitlve pug to have to walk on
the street tied to dude.-Grdphtc.
TIE 17-year loeusts haven't bitten anybody
or anything in this State yet, but, coDfOund
'em, they must stop kicking down walls and
fences, or the farmers will call for a rebellion.
There is limit even to a grasshopper's fun
Detroit Free Press.
No, THEMIsTOCLES, no; there isn't much in
name after all. That whleh you fondly and
proudly call an article" Is just as liable to 20
into the waste basket as that which the man
aging editor calls ''stnff is dead certain to 20
into the paper Bur3ette.
CALL girl a chick, and she smiles; call a
woman hen, and she bowls. Call a young
woman witch, and she is pleased; call an
old woman witch, and she is indignant.
Call girl kitten, and she rather likes IL;
call woman cat, and she'll hate you.
Queer seX.-EochGn0e.
Young married couples of on their we'd
ding t0nrs have in times past DEVISED a good
many able schepes to conceal from fellow
travellers how recent their happiness was;
bat none that we ever heard of equaled in in
Ventlve genius the young pair from SOmer-
vile who borrowed 5-year-Old boy from a
neighbor to take along with them to avoid sus-
piclon.-S0naeT05He Journal.
MRS. DUsENBERRY-''It'sod odd In Mrs. Bran
son, now, isn't it2 she has one near-sighted
and one far-sighted eye" Mr.. Dusenberry-
" bAe has cut lndl explains why 5ne en-
joys going to church so much" why, what
advantage does she derive from such an in
trinity" 1T isn't an inflrmity. It's an en-
dowment. She can keep her far-eye on the
minister and her near-eye on her neighbours
bonnet. -PhiLddelphiG Can.
GOOD old Kentucky Democrat who has
been waiting twenty years for post
Office, owns u fine dog, which Is his constant
companion. The other day the dog had been
having a run in the sunshine, and was resting
on ha with ton arara no, ar5,,e ,,,f
That's boss dog" said a travelling man.
who had been selling the old man bill of
goods. You're right, he Is" said the old
tongue out that wayq'' POLITICS. "Politics si
How2" why. sir, that dog knows Cleveland
is elected, and he knows | want post office,
and he's got his ton2ue out ready TO begin
licking the STAMPS r0oRdut.
''LEMME TELL YER. Mars Bnl," SAID an old
negro, addressing man TO whom he formerly
belonged. 'wimmin amt like da ulster be-"
mot, ehg"
mo, sab, dey amt. wy, sab, / had four
wives at 'er time TO- de wah; good wimmin,
too.'
you didY'
"Yas, sab. did. wy, dem wimmiu. sab,
knowd how ter treat er pusson. Didn't ketch
dem wimmin settin' er roun' doin' nothin'.
letting dar husbsn' go hOngry. Wy, sab, |
ulster eat wld Tiny, take er snak with Merry.
and den when got ter Silvy's house, Ia kere,
chile, den I'd eat sho' nuff. o, da allus bad It.,
ElEub uhI IGuN1 iAlts bubs bdAs ~ CT SHAME
de way my present wife acts"
"Shame, is iti"
''Yas, sab, or weepin shame. wy, sab.
she'd take up dat parasol o. bern an p'rade
OF ter church, no diffunce il didn't hab er
moWful TO eat. DOan' pear ter know nuthin'
bout 'sp0nserbnity. Cook all day fur de white
folks, an den at night come home wild only
some pertaters an meat an er few aigs. O..
da amt like da lister be, sab. Ft0Rsdto
TrG0eler.
TopuvrNfG ~ II rNOTg
Old Elgin swept down like wolf on the fold,
With a butterine bill and Doodle OF gold
And she said TO the statesmen &C Springfield
one day:
Here's bin you should pass without any
delay
And here is Doodle in one massive chunk
Which will soon be dispensed by the gent from
POdunk."
Then the statesmen were happy and pleasant
ly smiled
It's sweet when a bill is by Doodle beguiled-
And they greatly enthused, but they waited
For the Doodle to cOme-Hn at last it was
plain
That the Doodle was hopeIessly fast in the
trunk
or the revenue statesman who hailed from
Podunk.
with a howl Of despair did old Elgin betake
Herself far away TO q pastoral lake.
While the statesman looked daggers, and
whispered about:
"There's corruption aaoat-we must ferret IL
OUT
But his mild AFFIDAVIT aud impudent spunk
Have thwarted the foes OF the man from
Podunk.- Ohicggo Neirs.