Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-11-18
BRIGHT BITs.

ThosE whom the gods love die young, but
this docs moi apply to THANKSGIVING turkeys,
as rule.-Record. di
+, A RECENT WRITER saws that women give
t9ne 70 morals He was probably rodnd when
shSlGAl ed u coz msp rs aeeBahe for saving
sheol IN the dld-fashiUned way.-Herdld.
AT THE THEATRE
y iic--'Ar, YOU medWm$n
II Nsbard-"What ridiculous question:
Nlfe-"NOt at all. not at all. for you seem TO
nave spirit eau after ca act" d0ocGte.
CAPT. DASH with all the politeness posi-
6lel-"Aw, isis your programme full, Miss
GubbinsI"
Mis- Gnbbns (disdainfully) -"Full? -hould
think not, indeed. Why, I've only had one
ice all the eveningr-T1s mel.
You are accused of breaking into a res
taur Mt last night. What have you to say for
yourselfF'
MIA please your Honor. was only en-
tering my protest against very unhealthy
praci ice. >"
''What practice do you refer tor"
"Bolting food, your Honor" -BOSton Bldget.
BAGLEY-"We are about to hold a meeting
to organize SOUP society this winter" Boil
gertop--"An excellent pr jet excellent"
Bagley-"I tho1ghl you would be in favor of
it. am canva ssing in AID Of the society. I
know Won Will give me something" Bolger-
t0p-"With The greatest of pleasure. You
may put me down for a speech at the meet
ing." Phiidde2Dhia CaH.
SCENE Vestihule of Temple Of Alcohol.
Hanover street, arkeeper-"No-e'ectio
day, You can't buy any liquor" Thirsty
, ifizen--"Thpn IN 90 for biennial elections -
rkeeper-'And her s the special election
coming. and after that the city election. Hang
me il these elections will let us mate r cent"
Thirsty Citizen (huskily l-"Biennia Con-
found them, Ili go to make them centennial I"
-BOstpn journal.
How SHE ToLD IT AFTER COMING HOME
Mon pere
And ma mere
And mon frpre
And mon Sour
All Of us. Oui.
Have been over the sea
As far as Paree
On a tour. Boston Courier.
"HUMPH," grovled the King Of the Canni-
bal Islands, as he glanced at a New York pa-
per, which was all tina was left of a mis-
siOnary that took the leading part a royal
ieast
"Wherefore gruutest thou your MajestyY"
murmured the crime Minister.
81 knew that mssl onary was fraud"
"inasmuch as T. wherefOTe?"
"Becaus- in this paper. winch came from
his own country. there are several advertise
ments for a grl to cook. If there's one thing
l hate it's hvDocrite, unless he's well done
on toast."-Lifs.
WHEN the elevator is at the lowest floor. be-
fore getting on, always ask the boy if he Is
going mp. This will please lin, because he is
student OF human nature and likes to see
how big 3 fool a man can make Of himself.
The rule can be reversed At the top floor
When YOU find him there ask him if he is going
down.
Ne er tell at what floor you wish TO get of.
He prefers TO guess Mt 1t. and would feel hurt
il YOU did not let him carry YOU to the roof
whom you want a room on the first floor.
When he has carried you further up than
you wish TO go, always get angry and cali him
nard names He Will appreciate this. or
course. it is his fault that YOU did not tell
/ him where you were gOing.-Chicd0o Rambler.
A WARNING To GOV. Hill
Oh. we see 'Our autumn bonnet, David Hill,
And we smile 10 &c you don il, David Hill,
There is not q bird or feather
Nor a Flower from dale or heather.
Nor MugWump ribbon on it, David Hill,
But there is a bee within it David Hill,
Singing sweetly rs a llnret. David Hill.
And it seems 10 say unto you;
There's the residency: do you
Not desire, next time, to win t, David HIP"
Oh, we see vour eye-halls glisteu, David Hill,
But be careful how YOU listen. David Hill,
For each chance there is OF gaining
That at which your eyes are strainiDg.
! There's q hundred of your mssini. David Hill,
True u is Reformer Grover, David Hin,
Naulted into fields OF clover. David Hill,
From the place where you are standing,
But in 'SS the landing
VIII be moved much further over, David Hill.
Columbus Dispatch.