Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1885-06-20
WIT AND WISDOM.

A.
THE type righter--the proof-reader.
NEVER fret; it will only shorten your
days.
NEVER stand long at o corner Of q
street.
NEVER abuse one who was once your
bosom friend.
NEVER reply to the epithet Of o fool,
or q low fellow.
NEVER speak in a contenptuous man
her of womankind.
NEVER taste an atom when you arenos
hungry; it is suicidal.
HA1L1sG cabs is a common thing when
it is hailing ~pitchforks.
NEVER spend many Of your evenings
away from your family.
A SCI court is one in which jus.
tice has an even chance.
NEVER anticipate too much; disap-
pointment is not pleasant.
The English policy in Egypt False
Prophets and quick returns.
NEVER speak of your parents as the
cold man or cold woman."
THE zone more" drink has made a
hundred thousand drunkards.
A GIRL may be a good violin player
and yet not be able to draw a beau.
VIZ propose that the phrase money
no object" be amended to read "money
no objection"
A POET sings: "The iocund spring is
here" Yes; we never saw a more
ioakin' spring than this.
Professor "Mention on oxide"
Student: "Leather." Professor: "OxiIe
of what ?" Student: "Oxide of Beef"
Exit Professor.
AN old friend is not always the per-
son whom it is easiest to make O conf
dant of !; there is the barrier of remem-
bered communications under other cir
cumstances.
He was a likable man; sweet-tenpered,
ready-witted, frank, without grins Of
suppressed bitterness or other converse
tional havors which make hall of us ali
afliction to our friends.
LAFAYETTE had a great mind, cad he
knew what he was doing when he as
sisted the United States. France is
now getting large supplies Of cannea
frogs from this country.
WE often think we are of great i'm
portance to other people; that they must
be thinking OF us and our affairs; that
they watch our actions and shape their
course accordingly. In general we are
quite mistaken.
The craze for lady BARRIERS is dying
out. After a man has his face cut bias,
his throat shirred and his hair pompa
doured and been talked to death, he
naturally returns to the male barber anG
takes ~chloroform.
tWHY do bees make wax ?" asks q
farm journal. We do not knew, unless
it is because no one has told them thai
the honey manufacturers are willing t.
! make it for them out of p~aranine.-
Phi7adciphja CaN.
IN a fashionable novel the autho.
says: LADY Emma tremblcd, grey
pale, and Immediately tainted" HI
printer, putting ''p' instead Of "f,
rendered it, "The lady grew pale, an,
Immediately painted"
AN agricultural journal says: "Sprin,
is the best time in the year to NOV
bees" It may be; but if o bee settle
On your neck, or any other portion G
your anatomy, in the fall, don't wait III
til the spring to move it.
4 D~GGMATIcAL spirit i~rciines q man t
be %censorious of his neighbors. Ever
n of his opinions appears to hir
written, as it were, with sunbeams, au
t he grows angry that his reighbors q
not see it in the same light.
: THE small boy feels that it is tempt
L ing Providence for q leading grocer
Y firm to put large and luscious lookin
; oranges right out on the sidewalk an
] label them: "Do not fail to try Ties
! oranges; they are very nice"