The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1885-11-12


The night express ON the Missouri
Pacific Railroad was boarded at Par
sons, Kansas, by an old lady carrying
three large. black baskets and an oil
cloth grip. She found herself in the
smoking car. and when interviewed by
the conductor demanded a sleeper.
@Tm on the route to ST. Louis to see
my darter jane" she said, "sn' I'm go
in to git there in moderate shape an
style. / don't git to ride on the keers
only once in a while occasionally, an
what's the damage?"
"Two dollars"
stake my things right along and
head me for the bedroom"
So the old lady was piloted safely
over the yawning chasms between the
swaying coaches, and at last was dumped
Bag. baggage, and bundles on the broad
plush seat of Pullman car.
where's the landlords" she asked
surveying the partially curtained apart
ment with Ieverential awe. The APP
preach oil the porter, however. answer.
cd III practical purpose.
fCracious, how the keers rattle!" she
said '-but they don't jolt half as much
as the front eend. Do you think there's
:. any danger my--don't poster them
/, baskets, young man. I've got some APP
pes an pic an iixens' in EN- for Jane.
James my darter, she lives in st. Louis,
III Paddock, her MANI he keeps a
store"
The porter here explained that it
would be anecessity to remove the ar
ticfes while making up the berth.
well handle EN- mighty keerful.
Gracious how the keers rattle! You
don't suppose there's any danger of
'em-you-you don't suppose there is,
is there?"
Suppose what, marm?"
"Why, that air-but pshaw! nuthin'."
And The old lady dived into large
handbag and fshed out a bottle of
camphor, and sprinkled her immediate
vicinity with the perfume. The last
weary traveller was slowed away for the
night; the last curtain was drawn
across the section, and the low rumble
Of the train through forest and clear
ing, farm and valley, was only broken
by The occasional snort of a heavy
sleeper. Miles and miles of the dreary
solitude of Missouri night scenery we're
whigzing by small, unimportant sta
tions, and now halted at some wayside
tank and took in solid and liquid re-
freshment for the bloodless horse. But
why should it now slow up in the drear-
lest of ali the many dreary, unforbid-
ding places along the road? What i'll
looking stranger was that who just en-
tered the car aud passed down the aisle
between the slumberers with scowling
face stamped with sinister brand?
"Crack" Surely pistol shot
al knew it I've been looking for
this sort of thing for the last six
months!" shouted Kansas City drum
mer, diving for the aisle and getting
there with both both feet. 81 surren-
der"
Crack"
vengeance is mine, saith the Lord
besides that haven't got a pistol"
echoed q muffied voice from the sepul-
cher of an upper berth.
Crack"
A rather shapeless female form,
robed in white. and ruled night-cap,
bounded into the aisle, and rushed at
the Kansas City drummer with open
mouth and discrepancy OF teeth. AS
she fed she tripped, recovered herself,
and pumped squarely into the drum
mer's arms.
"Oh, save me from the Jim boys,
Landlord, save me!" she shrieked, save
me for my darter's sake"
"Crack!"
"Throw up your hands, said the
drummer, trying to squirm away. She
complied rapidly, and he slipped out
on to the rear platform. The train was
just starting away from a ghostly tank
looming up against the rosy-hued hori-
zon OF approaching day. The con-
ductor entered the car from the other
end. Crack" He lodged into the
smokers apartment and peered out
along the aisle where the old lady was
"sashaying" and balancing before the
curtained sections in stately, single
handed minuet. Capped and undressed
heads were thrust without the curtains,
and white, anxious faces looked up and
down the aisle.
Amy train robbers at your end ?"
shouted the drummer above the din of
the bowling Parsons woman.
mot any down my way" answered
the conductor. stepping out in front of
the old lady's berth. Thunder and
Mars What's this? A soda foun-
tain?"
Crack"
"Why, for the lands sake" broke in
the Parsons woman" "ef that amt my
yeast, six bottles of it. all fer Jane, and
busted, busted, busted. / was afreered
all along that the rattle of the keers
would get the stuff workin' -
brakes Travellers Mnoazine
How Snakes Make Their Toilet.
To eoo,,oc ~o4ho~ f,,o-x - o.~1o1. II