The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-03-20
A BONE OF CONTENTION.

JrdTy, III Is, as q rule, "cOnSluerSu a DOnu
of union between its parents. Strange,
however, to say, this was not the case
with Captain Grant, of the til Hussars
and his wife. Indeed it nearly caused an
estrangement, and it certainly had to
answer for the only quarrel they ever
had.
There is no doubt that when the in
FAINT first made its appearance, Jack
Grant was as fond and proud a father as
could be found in the United Kingdom.
He tried to see the numerous likenesses
to various relatives which his wife saw in
the irson; he persuaded himself he felt
highly tlattered when she declared she
saw in the somewhat plain infant a strong
look of himself; and finally wound him
self up to such a pitch of enthusiasm, he
actually made an awkward attempt to
hold the child, and even impressed a
fatherly kiss on its small, mottled, red
face.
This was a very happy state of affairs
so long as it lasted, but unfortunately q
change was soon to be observed. Cap
tain Grant began to wish his wife could
find some other subject on which to eX-
ercisc her conversational powers than
"the baby :" he also commenced to won
der II it was necessary to talk to the child
in the senseless and extremely odd style
which she and the nurse invariably used
when they addressed it.
AT last he was obliged to confess to
himself that, unnatural as it seemed, he
occasionally found his boy, in spite Of
his numerous projections, a decided bore.
"You see, " he conided to his chum,
Jim Reeves, "a fellow gets so deuced
sick of hearing nothing but agoo-and-
agoo-and-a-bubble bubble-bubble, which
is the way my wife and the nurse always
speak to the poor little brat. can't
get the idiotic rubbish out of my head
and upon my word, when some of the fell
lows the other day at the mess were
talking of the new regulations hat have
just como out, and asked ne what |
thought of them, | was as near as posi-
BILE making II cOnsummatc ass of myself
before them all, by answering, 'Agoo-
and -agoo-and-a-bubble.- bubble bubble.
| assure you | was within an ace of doing
so. If | could have a little sensible con
versation with my wife when the child
had been put TO bed, it would not be SO
bad, but sleeping or waking the baby
occupies all the attention. / am sup
posed to hear of the heavenly, sweet
smile that came over the brat's face
when he saw his bottle being brought to
him, or that he has managed to crawl
three more inches on the ground, or
something else that appears to me equally
uninteresting. It's really awful rough
on q fellow"
Rather trying" remarked his friend,
alphabetically.
"Trying!' repeated Jack. '''That is
not the word for it. | declare it makes
me so irritable | sometimes feel inclined
to swear at them all round, the baby in
+ Guided"
Come" answered jim, ~reprovingly,
81 call that unfair. What, swear
at a helpless infant, whose only
method of retort and strongest Ian.
guage for some time to come vii
be 'a-goo' and 'a-bubble.' That is fight.
ing upon unequal terms with a ven
geance."
"Oh, if you are going to ch2f me II
shut up" replied Jack, testify. 81 only
wish you we've bothered by the same sorr
of thing, and then don't think yor
would find it so amusing. ~ saving which
he turned on his heel and walked ava,
in a huff. -
1t was in this unsatisfactory frame O
mind regarding his ~firstborn, that JacI
proceeded to wend his way home one
cold winters afternoon. lie had had 4,
hard days work, and was looking for
ward with a feeling of relief to 4 cha.
with his wife and a cigar before dinner
True, his mind was somewhat disturbed
by the thought that it was possible thu
tete- a-tete he anticipated might b,
broken into by the presence of a thirC
party. But he rcsolutely shook off thi
gloomy foreboding, and walked OF
briskly toward his destination.
On arriving there and hearing his wife.
voice somewhere overhead, he called on
to her he was home and was going to thu
smoking room, where he would be glaC
of her company till it was time to dres:
for dinr-r.
Every well, dear" she answered
brightly "well come in a minute"
"Wer' said Jack to himself, ''who
else is she bringing} Surely it can't be
the child. She can never mean to turn
this room, as well as every other in tn,
house, into a nursery. Hang it all, that
would really be unbearable!"
If, however, he had any doubts on tn,
subject, they were soon TO be dispelled,
for he had scarcely lit a cigar before hi,
wife made her appearance with the baby
IN her arms.
"Well,' thought Jack resignedly, 9.
euppose there is nothing for it but t.
grin and bear it,"
"No, Jack, my dearest" exclaimed
his wife, gushingly, 81 have such
piece of news for you. You will neve
guess what it is. 1t is something almos'
too delightful for words"
81 also have something TO tell you,
broke in Jack, as his wife paused to taxi
breath, for he felt instinctively that thu
important news to which his wife re
ferred has something to do with his off
spring, and he knew that once that all