The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-09-10

nau been making desperate ellorIS 10
resume her demure appearance.
"Let me help you, sir" she said,
coming from behind the counter,
upon seeing Elder Brown beginning
to adjust his spectacles for search.
He waved her back majestically. mo
my dear, no; can't allow it. You
mout sile them purity fingers. No
ma'am. No gen'l'man IL low er lady
to do such thing" The Elder was
gently forcing the girl back to her
place. Leave it to me. I've picked
up bigger things'n them. Picked my
self up this mornin'. Balaam-you
don't know Balaam; he's my donkey,
he tumbled me over his head in the
sand this mornin'." And Elder
Brown had to resume an upright po-
sition until his paroxysm of laughter
had passed. 'You see this old hat?"
extending it, half full Of packages;
[ fell clean inter it; jes' as clean inter
it as them things thar fell out'n it.
He laughed again, and so did the girls.
But, my dear, I whaled half the hide
off'n him for it.
"Oh, sir! how could you? Indeed,
sir, think you did wrong. The poor
brute did not know what he was do
ing, I dare say, and probably he has
been faithful friend" The girl cast
her mischievous eyes toward her COM
panions. who snickered again. The
old man was not conscious of the sar-
casm. He only saw reproach. His
face Strengthened, and he regarded the
girl soberly,
"Mebbe you're right, my dear; meb
be | oughtn't."
II am sure of it," said the girl.
"But now don't you want to buy
bonnet or a cloak to carry home to
your wife?''
"Well, you're whistlin' now, birdie;
that's my intention; set 'em all out.
Again the Elders face shone with de-
light. can 7 don't want no one-hoss
bonnet neither"
"Of course not. Now here is one;
pink silk, with delicate pale-blue
feathers Just the thing for the sea-
son. We have nothing more elegant
in stock" Elder Brown held it out,
upside down, at 's-length.
well now, that's suthin' like.
Will it SCOT sorter red-headed 'oom-
an?"
A perfectly sober man would have
said the girls corsets must have under
gone terrible strain, but the Elder
did not notice her dumb convulsion.
She answered heroically:
Perfectly, sir. 1t is an exquisite
match"
Il think you're whistlin' again.
Nancy's heads red, red as a wood
peck's Sorrels only halfway to the
color Of her top-not, an it do seem
like red oughter to SCOT red. Nancy's
red and the hats red; like goes with
like, an birds Of a feather flock to-
gether" The old man laughed until
his cheeks were wet.
The girl, beginning to feel little
uneasy, and seeing customer enter
ing, rapidly fixed up the bonnet, took
fifteen dollars out of a twenty-dollar
bill, and calmly asked the Elder if he
wanted anything else. He thrust his
change somewhere into his clothes,
and beat retreat. It had occurred
to him that he was nearly drunk.
Elder Browns step began to lose its
buoyancy He found himself utterly
unable to walk straight. There was
an uncertain straddle in his gait that
carried him from one side Of the walk
to the other, and caused people whom
he met to cheerfully yield him plenty
of room
Balaam saw him coming. Poor
Balaam. He had made an early start
that day, and for hours he stood in the
sun awaiting relief. When he opened
his sleepy eyes. and raised his express
i've ears to a position of attention, the
old familiar coat and battered hat of
the Elder were before him. He lifted
up his honest voice and cried aloud
for joy.
The effect was electrical for an in
slant. Elder Brown surveyed the
beast with horror, but again in his
understanding there rang out the
trumpet words,
Drunk, drunk, drunk, drer-unc, -er
unc, -unc, -unc.
He stopped instinctively for a mis-
sile with which to smite his accuser,
but brought up suddenly with jerk
and handful Of sand. Strengthening
himself up with a majestic dignity, he
extended his right hand impressively.
'You're goldarn liar, Balaam, and
blast your old buttons, you kin walk
home by yourself, for I'm DANCED if
you sh'l ride me er step"
Surely Coriolanus never turned his
back upon Rome with grander dig
nifty than sat upon the old mans form
as he faced about and left the brute
to survey with anxious eyes the new
departure Of his master.
He saw the Elder zigzag along the
street, and beheld him about to turn a
friendly corner. Once more he lifted
up his mighty voice.
Drunk, drunk. drunk, drer-unc,
drer-unc, -erunc; -unc, -unc.
Once more the Elder turned with
lifted hand, and shouted back:
You're liar Balaam, goldarn you!
You're er iffammous liar" Then he
passed from view.