The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-12-11
Anecdotes of Emery Storrs.

IInCu w llOlu
after dinner speakers was one ola gen
,leman who expressed his great ad-
miratjon for the energy and success OF
tho interior metropolis of America, but
he frankly expressed his displeasure
at II thing. He had beer informed
that in tho city from which the guest
of the evening hailed commercial non
or was at SO low an ebb that hundreds
! of merchants failed in the course OF q
year, always with large liabilities n
small assets, and, after the storm a
blown over, ]reappeared in the mart
richer than before and with head as
hioh rs ever. OF course such an as
persion as this upon the fair name OF
| Chicago-wh' CHI Storrs ever jealousy
| leienaed-could not be permitted to
go unanswered.
IL assure you, gentlemen said no
n few moments later, 1.-The speaker has
been misinformed. | am glad to be
able to correct his error, and how
shamcfully he has been imposed upon
by his nformants will appear to you
when / declare to you that during the
twenty wears l have lived in Chicago
not one business failure has occurred
there involving . sum exceeding Slo,-
900 or SIS, 900. Not one, sir, in TWEEN
tv years. Failures in Chicago? Why,
gentlemen. our glorious young giant
of the West has but one language
that of grand old mother England
and the word fail never found u place
in its lexicon"
The Engllshmen, both astonished
and c%aptivatod, cried, ''hear! heart
with much enthusiasm. The guests,
principally solicitors, knew enough OF
business affairs to see that II Chicago
had had no failures in twenty years
her record was indeed remarkable, but
they were not sufficiently familiar
with American trade to be able to con
tradict or even seriously doubt the
truth of the Westcrner's statement.
SO they applauded vigorously and en-
loved the discontinue of their daring
townsman. After a time, however, an
inquisitive Englishman corncred Storrs
and inquired:
WASN'T that statement of yours
about there being no important fail
ures IN Chicago for twenty years
slightly exaggerated, Mr.. Storrs?"
Exaggerated! Not in tho least.
sir. 1t was simply 4 d-lie!'
In similar vein was his rather cruel
remark to n friend of his who was II
the witness chair, and who declined to
make a statement just rs Storrs evil
IDENTITY wanted it. 81 should like to
favor you, MIR. Storrs,' said the wit
ness, but | have oven more regard for
the truth than for you"
"Oh. very we'll" was tho lawyers
reply, bat a man at your age ought
not to desert old friends and take up
with strangers"
"Oh, yes" said Storrs Of al eminent
and wealthy C%hicagoan, $50 and-so is
a nice man, a very II &C man. | never
observed but one thing Objectionable
in him, and that is that he is imsutIer-
able"
A friend once chided him upon his
improvidence and urged hun to pre-
pare u competence for his old age.
t "Old age Storrs replied, prophet
{ really, ''is Il rusted stove pipe. l may
: burn out, but | shall! never rust"
On another occasion. his reckless
{ ness with money being adverted to, he
retorted:
Money! If / tried to save it
should become its slave. Now it is my
d weapon. When l fling it at people
they become slaves of mine"
Il Most Ch;cagoans will remember
Z Charley Reed, now IL lawyer in New
York, who was about ten years ago 6
Cook county attorney. During the
|. whisky ring prosecutions Reed was
quite conspicuous in his professions Of
ability to take are Of the prescott
d ed d %stillers. and was much given t.
be interviewed by the reporters.
Charley Reed gets up in the morn
ing said Storrs, land looks abou
y for a reporter. Then he goes and get
n cocktail, and looks for another re
porter. After breakfast he has an
other cocktail and another reporter
d and | guess he averages a cocktail AM
q reporter once an hour until mid
night
Storrs loved to describe a pompou
man. OF one he said:
- "a large, bustling, bumptious, sell
sufficient sort of chap"
:, And of another:
~ ''How l would like 10 stick q ri
- into him and hear tho wind whist
:. out The hole"
what makes a city renowned?" h
;s once inquired. at is not pork. 1t
= not trade. 1t is not these heaped II
- piles of wealth. 1t is men. Tho me
who contributed to the Parthenon die
~ out of human record $500 years age
Phidias remains the man who adorne
it. But the names of Socrates, an
Scion and Plato, and of Pericles, an
~ Phidias, and Praxitcles will make
he famous forever"
n, He never SAID q better thing than o
y The meeting to raise means to build
d, permanent library and art building o
nj Dearbon Park. Somebody had r.
nc marked that he didn't bel eve the OF
terprise would prove good inycs
he ment. Retorted Storrs:
to 81 want Chicago to rise to that EN-
e. hence where it can do something thu