Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1885-10-30
LAW COURT Fun.
The IIumOr of the CrOHs Examiner
and the Witness.

strikingly exemplified in courts Of JUS
tice, says Chambers Journal, and the
Judge or barrister or any other person of
discrimination who has arrived at an old
age in the service of law court must
possess a clear insight into the traits and
peculiaritIes of mankind.
Nothing is so muth appreciated in q
court of justice as fun, and it is prin-
cipally this aspect of the question that
this paper intends to deal with. A ready
replJ or cutting sarcasm is sometimes
used as a weapon of defense by a wit.
ness. Occasionally, even in the most
unimportant case, he will be cross
examined by the opposing counsel to
such an extent that unless he be a clear
headed and thinking person he will be
liable to commit hsmself. This is one
of the aims of counsel-to confuse the
witness and constantly remind them
that they are on oath. Some indulge in
the latter practice to an insufferable ex.
tent. O'Connell was conspicuous for his
powers of examination, and of following
up, if possible, any part of the evidence
the witness endeavored to evade. During
Munster circuit he was engaged in
case where the question was the validity
of a will, by which property to some
amount was devised, but which the plain
tiffss alleged was forged. O'Conner
noticed that the subscribing witness
during examination swore that "the tes
tator signed the will while life was in
him" Suspecting something, he asked
the witness: "Was it not that live fly
was in the dead mans mouth while his
hand was placed on the will2" The wit
ness, through fear, actually confessed
that this was the case.
A barrister named Missing was defend.
ing prisoner charged with stealing o
donkey, and was severe In his eXamina.
ton of the witness. The case was that
the prosecutor had left the donkey tied
to a gate, and on returning it was gone.
''Do you mean to say, witness, " said
Missing, ''the donkey was stolen2" 81
mean to say, sir" was the reply, "that
the ass was missing"
A witness may be obstructive, and
give barrister great trouble in refusing
to answer questions put to him; but thia
method of procedure is not so effective as
quick, sharp aud ready repartee.
An eminent English architect was be-
ing examined by counsel, who was using
every effort in his power to depreciate
the witness opinion.
"You are builder, l believe. ["
"No, sir, l am not a builder; l am an
architect"
"Ah, we'll, builder or architect, arch.
itect or builder-they are pretty much
the same, l supposed"
81 beg your pardon; they are totally
different"
"Oh, indeed! Perhaps you would
state wherein this great difference con-
sists."
"An architect conceives the design,
prepares the plan. draws out the speciti-
tion-in short supplies the mind. The
builder is merely the machine, the
power that puts the machine together
and sets it going"
ooh, very we'll, Mr.. Architect; that
will do. A very ingenious distinction,
without difference. Do you happen
to know who was the architect of the
tower of Babel"
"There was no architect, sir-hence
the confusion"
(Which way did the stairs RUM" a
witness was once asked, and his reply
was "that depended on circumstances.
If you are at the bottom, they run up,
but if you are on the top they run
down."
Curran was examining a witness, and
falling to get direct answer, "There is
no use in asking you questions, for see
the villain in your face"
"Do you, sir2" said the man, with O
smile. "Faix, 1 never knew my face
was looking-glass beforem
prisoner at the bar" said a judge,
''is there anything you would wish to
say before sentence is passed upon you?'
The prisoner looked toward the door,
and remarked that he would like to say
Good evening" it it was agreeable to
the company.
Some judges have been remarkable fol
their wit in giving decisions and for
their eccentricity on the bench. Lords
Peterborough and Mansfield were notable
examples. The latter judge once gave
encouragement to a young barrister who
had forgotten the speech he probably
committed to memory. 1.-THE unfortun
ate client who appears by me, g." he began
"the unfortunate client who appears by
me-my lord, my unfortunate client
"You can 60 on, sir, said the Judge
in an encouraging tone; $50 far the court
is entirely with YOU"
One of the most noted criminal law
gers in the country, while pleading the
case of his client, is often overcome by
his innocence and wrongs, and is obliged
to sit down and recover himself. "Don't
you think" said judge to him, "that
the jury have found out your move
ments by this timer" "Ah, you forget, )
said the barrister, sit is always new
jury before whom play"
eff you don't stop that coughing, y
laid an irritable judge to an old gentle
in court, 'I will fine you e1O0." 60
will give your lordship 1900 if you viii
stop it for me, " was the quick reply.
Such are few incidents which have
occurred in connection with the bright
side of the law courts from time to time
But there is another aspect of the ques
ton. There are the serious issues al
stake to be decided within the precinct:
of the building, which is so often The
medium whence ensue wit, drollery anC
fun. 1t would be wrong to suppose tina
mirth docs not find place, and that thu
sublime exists without the ridiculous
The very presence of the latter adds
charm to the former, and often chase
away that dull monotouy which we ar
apt to associate with law courts and thei
surroundings.
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Bible Facts.