River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-07-09

Il should Ike to spoke a few remarks
to Brudder Side-Bar skinner. OBJ
served the president, as the dust began
to settle in Paradise hall
Brother skinner, who is young man
of %. with a mild eye and lilac neck.
tie, advanced to the front, and the
president continued:
"Brudder skinner, de news has
reached my ears dat YOU am about to
be mar'd. | trus' dat de report am
true. bekaSe believe it am de dooty
of cherry young man who kin support a
wife to take one.
1T am true, sab.
Den let me compliment you wild
one hand an spoke few remarks wild
de odder Gittin mar d has its VERY
serious side. Fur instance, am de gal
/ gwine to mary you hekase she loves
YOU. or 10 spite her folkes bekase dey
kept her away from de skatin-rink
Am you gwine to mary de gal fur love.
or hekase her father has some wealth
which YOU hope he'll shell out fur
your benefit?
Love am 4 powerful emoshum,
Brudder skinner, but love widout pork
and taters TO keep it goin am like de
froth on top of Sodawater.
Don't mistake your sentiments.
If YOU am sartin datyou love. 30 ahead.
If il am only lollypop. hire out as a
deck-hand on a steam boat fur week
an it viii all 90 away. | hey known
couples ez seemed to be dvin' of love.
DER silly ackshum made EN- de laiiin-
stock of a hull nayburhood. Dey
seemed to dote and dote, but it didn
last. AFTER a couple of y ars de hus-
band war home grumbler an tyrant.
an de wife a gadabout an a Scold.
What dey posed was love war only
lollypop.
..Doan marry gal hopin dat her
father will set YOU up in de barber
biznesS. Most fadder-in-lawS not only
want all dey hez got, but am willin' to
struggle for another $4,000.
"Doan' sot down an fgger dat TO
tatcrs. a loaf of bread, half pound of
meat. an quart of appleSass am goin'
to runyou fur week. You viii want
all de salary YOU can i'rn. an you
had better look aroun an find some
body who will lend you a dollar now
an then.
..Doan fatter yourselves dat all You
hey got to do am to hug in de hous an
kiss ober de gate. You'll be hungry
fur con beef an baked beans; your
clozc viii war out; Your flour an but
ter will waste away. an bill fur two
months rent will send a chill up your
back De man or woman who Speks
dat mar'd life am green an shady
lane, lined wild orange blossoms on one
side an ten dollar bills on de odder,
am gwine to wake up some day an
find de rats leavin de place in disgust
Think Of desc things, Brudder
skinner. You kin get a wife in about
tive minutes. but it takes five vars TO
Git shet of some of EN-. Expect about
one dav : sunshine fur week of cloudy
weather Reckon on house rent comm
due de fu>t of cherry month, an de
grocer an butcher keepin' an eye out
fur YOU each Saturday night. 1t will
amaze you how de woodpile decides an
how De flour gifts outen de barl SO
soon. Doan' walk into matrimony like
a lobster into a box. but figger on
whether de bait am with de risk. If
You conclude to mar V you kin depend
on dis club attendin de obsequies in
a body. bringin along bounteous
supply of ham sandwiches. If YOU
decide not to. it am probable dat You
will soon be promoted to some posts
hum of trust an responsibility. =
The Lime Kiln Club.