davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

New Orleans people are very much disap-
pointed in the Liberty Bell. They have dis
covered crack in it, and wonder why in the
world 1t was sent there in that condition.
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04
Tuesday MORNING, FEBRUARY 8.

We do not read anonymous letters and communi-
cadons. The name and address of the writer are in
all eases Indispensable not necessarily for publice-
uon but as q guarantee OF good faith.
We cannot undertake to return or preserve COM
munioations that are not used.
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

nI-None genuine without bunch of green Hops
on the white label. Shun all the vile, poisonous
stuff with "Hop'' or "Hops' in their name.
jan23 FMW&&w1mnrm
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

SNATCHED FROM THE GRAVEL was brought
to deaths door by combination of eczema and cry
sipelas, from which had suffered for three years.
SUM. which seemed to feed the disease. Ihave been
cured sound and well by the use of Swift's Specific
MRS. SARAH E. TURNER, Humboldt, Tenn.
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

For sale everywhere. Price CUTIcURA, SOC. CT
TIoURA SOAP, 25c. CUTICURA REsoLYENT, 81.
Potter Drug and Chemical Co.. Boston.
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

RE ETTV For Skin Blemishes, use
AsAZIA u - n the CUTICURA SOAP.
feb4 W&S&w2w
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

Your CUTIoURA SOAP prescribe in all eruption
of the skin and it works like magic.
T. II. WHITING, M. D.
IA CENTRAL Music HALL CHICAGO, Ill.
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

Swft's Specific is entirely vegetable. Treatise on
Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co., Drawer 3, Atlanta, Ga.
or 159 W. 23d St., New York, ian1d&w1y ynrm
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04
aCROFUL.A

A girl in my employ has been cured of constitu
tional scrofula by the use of Swift's Specific
j. o. MCDANIEL, Allatoona, Ga.
(This gentleman is father of the Governor of Ga.
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

TETTER.-After suffering with letter for eleven
years and having all sorts of treatment, / was re-
lieved entirely by Swifts Specific.
l.. II. LEE, Dawson, Ga.
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04

Vanderbilt's millions could not buy from me what
Swift's Specific has done for me. 1t cured of
scrofula of 15 years standing.
MRS. ELIZABETH BAKER, Acworth, Ga
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04
(llltiilG11.ra !
INFALLIBLE BLOOD PURIFIERS AND
SKIN BEAUTIFIERS.
AGROwrH 0RHAIR.

GROWTH OF HAIR.
While using your CUTIoURA for chapped hands
1t occurred to me to try it for dandru from which
suffered great deal, and it not only speedily
cured the dandruff but restored the hair to large
bsd spot previously entirely destitute of hair 1t
is now an inch in length.
JOHN II. PARKE,
Master bark "John E. Chase. Boston Harbor.
SORE HANDS
Your CUTICURA REMEDIES are Justly receiving
great recognition. The miners find the CUTICURA
SOAP splendid for cleansing the skin and those who
have for years suffered from hands cannot say
enough in praise of it and CUTIoURA.
G. BUDDEE. Scofeld, Col
CHAPPED HANDS.
have been using the CUTIoURA SOAR for Chap
ped Hands and find it gives better satisfaction
and operates more quickly than anything 1 have
ever tried Its cleansing qualities and delicate per-
fume recommended it as most desirable soap -
F.. PARKER, Charlottesburg, Ky.
DOING GOOD.
I was sick long time and tried several doctors.
They could not do me any good, and then I tried
CUTICURA REMEDIES and they cured me. They
are doing great deal of good in this country.
H. SALLEE, Cornishville, KY.
WITH GOOD RESULTS.
have used your CUTIcURA REMEDIES with good
results for Scrofula and Scalp Disease for a num-
ber of years. r. K. FAULKNER.
HoRNELLsvILLB, N. Y.
WORKS LIKE MAGIC.
Your CUTIcURA SOAP prescribe in all eruption
T. H. WHITING, MD.
IA CENTRAL MUSIC HALL, CHICAGO, Ill.
The Portland daily press., 1885-02-04
WITH GOOD REsULTs,
WORKS LIKE MAGIC.

have used your CUTIcURA REMEDIES with goo
results for Scrofula and Scalp Disease for nun
Der of years. r.. K. FAULKNER.
HoRNELLSvILLB, N. Y.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
JEWISH DIET AND CHOLERA.

The comparative immunity OF Jews from
.he worst results of epidemics is still occu-
plying the the attention Of European Jo,r-
: mails. The London Echo has the follow
ing:
One noticeable feature about the jewish
cemeteries in the sonth of Europe is the
scarcity of newly-made graves after an cpl
demic of cholera or yellow fever. Statistics
show that fewer of them die than any other
race from these or kindred diseases. Dur
ing the late cholera scourge in Toulon only
two orthodox jews died OF it, while in mum.
bers they equalled fully 20 per cent. OF the
population. Their immunity from the dis.
Ease, and the Certainty with which they re-
cover when attacked by it, is accounted for
by the simplicity of their diet.
Our friends of the "advanced " school,
who think that dietary laws are all nonsense
and kitchen Judaism " q superstition, viii
not feel so comfortable when they review
their sins OF commission and omission by
the light of the advancing cholera. Now is
The time for them to return to the olden
fare, to discard shell-fsh, those scavengers
of the ocean, and see to the proper prepa-
ration OF tho animal food generally admit
ted to their tables. Errors of diet are the
most prolific causes of cholera attacks in
times of epidemic. -Anaesfcan HeJrew
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
TIE CUTTER OF THE PERIOD.

The cutting machine il run on table
twenty feet long and four feet wide. The
cutter does not move the cloth, but takes
the handle Of the cutting machine and fol-
lows the chalk pattern mapped out on the
cloth. The slightest twist of the wrist moves
the instrument with its gnilotine-like knife
over many thicknesses of cloth clean
through, leaving smooth edges. The action
of the knife is up and down, like the sew
ing machine needle, but II is so rapid, no
matter how fast the hand moves over the
surface, it goes through buzzing like whip
saw. The little knife makes 1000 reyoln-
lions in minute. It takes eight or ten
men to chalk out the patterns on the cloth
for each instrument, so rapidly do they
work Twenty pairs of thick trousers can
be cut at one time, and almost the same
number of overcoats. In spring goods forty
pairs of trousers is nothing Cor the little knife
to wade through together. The capacity
for cutting alpaca goods is almost unlimited.
1t generally turns out 1i4 alpaca coats at
one feed and !, 200 Of them per day. Forty
dive white vests can be cut out in two days.
The use of the cutting machines reduces ex
penses at least fifty per cent, besides saving
time.-Neso York Mail and Erpress
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
FRANKS OF SENATOR'S.
How the Men of Greatness md Gravity
While Away the Weary Hours.

The Senate does not contain more un
wearied student or more restless wag than
the Senator from Arkansas, Mr. Garland.
After hours spent in abstract study, he will
bound up like ball when the tension is
over and refresh himself with series Of
practical pranks, sparing no one in the
range of his sallies. He hits home with the
most grotesque solemnity, but never in
malice. His special delight is to get hold
OF some dismal parsonage with no more
juice in him than boarding house steak,
and, after testing him with some insanely
ludicrous yarn, enjoy telling how " lie look
ed at me rs If was case of yellow fever
and he was freezing ship p
A guilty conscience keeps him always or
the lookout for some terrible retaliation.
and it is a red-letter d.y in the Senate when
the bitter is bit. On one occasion, when an
Mr.. Garland delivered careful and exhaus-
tive speech to which close attention was
given. About ten minutes after he had
finished and when, SO to speak, his brows
were bound with victorious wreaths," Don
Cameron went over to the Arkansas Sena-
tors side of the chamber and said;
" Garland, when are you going to speab
on this subject? ! want to hear you.p
{" Good Lord y remarked the surprisec
Senator, ''why just got through Where
were you p
About five minutes later Mr.. Whyte, of
Maryland, who had not been in tho Senate
during the speech, had the job put up on
him and asked the same question in good
faith. Why, just finished, Whyte Look
at the Record in the morning"
Another five minutes passed and then
Butler, of South Carolina, another sleepless
wag, went meekly up to Garland and asked
when he was going to speak to the bill.
Considering the source of this last inquiry
the remark WAS in the nature of an eye
opener and Mr.. Garland tartly replied
"If you have any more Of 'em, Butler, bring
hem on in q body. 1t saves time"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11

81 hab nebber befoah dun noticed" re.
marked venerable colored gentleman to q
bystander at the menagerie the other day,
" how much the monkey 'sembles dc white
man. 'spects ut some time way back in de
mists ob antiquity, prob'ly in de epizootic
silurian epoc oh dc universe, and befoah de
primordial atoms oh de great original chaos
had 'sumed DER various present modi6ca-
tions dat de monkey must hab eboluted
from de white man. In dis view OBJ de mat
ter Use ware dat differ from de views oh
scientists dat de white man eboluted from
de monkey. But dey is all wrong. Now il
am indisputed axium dat one thing can't
come out Of anodder thing unless it am first
in dat thing. Now if lie scientists am right,
what want to know am dis, de monkey
bein' SO much smaller dan de white man,
how de white man cher got into de mon
key?'- TEXAS Sitsings. -Aa tHt
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
Cu,,ins the rhira Ne, Of Tech.

DIR. Sanford Brent, one of the oldest
citizens of campbellstown, KY, now up
ward Of eighty years old, is now cutting his
third set OF teeth He lest his second set
lbout twenty-five years since--the last of
them. He has ne~cr worn false teeth, and
now his third set, which are as beautiful as
pearls, are fast appearing, just in the order
end manner that children cut their teeth.
When the first three made their appearance
tho family were greatly alarmed, thinking
1t an omen of sudden death, but he still
lives, and they are cutting gums and getting
the others through and the old nan is doing
as well as could be expected .--Ciacinnad
Enquirer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
IGNORANT OFFICIALS.
Interesting Facts About an Internal Reve.
nme Collector Who Landed In the
Penitentfary.


Some curious as well as amusing commu-
nications are occasionally received by. high
officials here in Washington. They gener-
ally refer to appointments tc or to the man
agement OF small offices, mostly post offices.
The amount of ignorance and illiteraoy that
prevails among the grand army of public
servants would be surprise TO people who
Imagine that intelligence Is the first requi-
ute Of official employment. Since the. in
production Of the civil service test It is quite
necessary that the department clerks should
have at least fair idea of orthography,
geography, grammar and arithmetic but
this does not apply to the fifty odd thou
sand postmasters, nor to the thousands of
revenue and administrative officials who are
maintained at public expense. 1880.
notable example Of illiteracy in high
places was furnished q few years ago when
General John Mcdonald, Of st. Louis,
was appointed to the important position OF
supervisor Of the vast revenue district COM
posed of the States Of Missouri, Arkansas,
Tennessee, Kansas, Colorado and Iowa. At
the time Of his appointment Mcdonald
could write his name in rude and scarcely
legible way, but that was the extent of his
photographic accomplishments. He could
not write at all beyond scrawling his sigma
ture. He could read, however, and he art
fully concealed from most people the fact
that he could not write. He had habit,
whenever 1t became necessary for him to
communicate with any one in writing, OF
making the excuse that his hand was lame,
and on that plea get some one else to write
for him. Before the. war Mcdonald had
been /" runner on the St.. Louis steam
boat wharyes and then the keeper Of
livery stable. During the war he was cash.
tered for timidity, touse mild word, while
colonel of the Eighth Missouri Volunteers,
a regiment Of river roughs. Yet such is the
influence of cheek, combined to certain
| jaunty and magnetic sir, which was O mark.
ed characteristic of Mcdonald, that be pre-.
vailed on President Grant to intrust him
with one of the most responsible offices in
the revenue service. As might naturally
have been expected from such man, he
repaid his benefactor by organizing the 81
gantic whisky ring that brought SO much
discredit on the administration and landed
him and his co-conspirators in the peniten-
tiary. ~ ssa asA
To show how assurance sometimes fosti-
ies ignorance, this same man hired O report
or to write book to which he attached his
own name, and he took the trouble to cen.
vince every unsophisticated person he mel
that he wrote every word Of It," Attn
his whisky-ring troubles were ended Nc.
Donald married "Sylph,n the woman
who figured SO mysteriously in the history
of the ring, and she has since taught him
some Of the rudiments of chirography. q
The foregoing is rather painful instance
Of official incompetency and is certainly an
isolated case, but the ignoramus gets into
office much more frequently than is sup.
posed. Philadelphia Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
POETRY.
The Ola Ak.ic Room

Ano Otu Askbc ROOM
remember the dear old attic room,
Where slept when little boy,
In the farmhouse over beside the hill,
When life was perfect JOY.
remember the chairs so old and quaint.
And the bed wherein slept,
And the chest OF drawers beside the door.
Where the apples were always kept
remember well how the early sun
Through the window small would stray,
And how the bird In the tree outside
Would MARBLE his morning lay,
And how my mothers Time to get uplH
on my needless ear would fall,
And the unpretentious print that hung
SO crookedly on the wall
remember the ceiling, cracked and low.
Where punches OF peppers hung,
And the old green curtain that wouldn't roll ur
But In every wild breeze swung.
remember the barrels with stoveplpes aled,
And various other things.
And the memory OF the dear old room
Remembrance also brings
or the nights had OF innocent rest.
What wouidht give to be
Again, In those rosy, boyhood dreams,
wanderer happy and free.
Andon Its carpetless floor to rornp,
merry and boisterous boy,
And see my little sister play
With her latest painted toy2
The room was not fair 70 look upon,
But to me twas jolly nest
All. that now as then could lay me down.
It's tired and willing guest,
And dream the dreams that then dreamt
In the nights 80 cool and still,
On the homely bed In that attic room
In the farmhouse by the hill
--11.6 Tsl.aA
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11

Ma-Oh, yun naughty, naughty girl
you've told me story. You said you were
not tat the jelly shelf and Jane says you
were. Little Nell forgot, ma. Ma
Now don't add another story to the first.
You did not forget, you did not forget; you
iried to deceive me- TWAS wicked, wick
ed he, and I shall -a Jane (entering) Mrs.
Squibbs is at the front door, mum. Ma
The odious thing. Tell her I am not at
home. PHILADELPHIA CaN.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
fractional Stoyepipe

Stove pipe, especially Russia, goes to-
gother pretty well now when new, but ii
frequently happens that half or third
length is needed to make everything love-
iy; and attempting to get another length
into cut of end of the piece or vice verse,
is what causes bloody fingers and cuss
words. The man of family will catch our
meaning without the aid of diagram.
Well, this trouble can be OBJ Waited by hay
ing pipe, in addition to the standard lengths,
made up also in shorter pieces, say from
six inches to three-fourths regular length,
each piece turned on one end as usual.
Then, when the stove is set up, and it is
found that short piece is wanted, all you
have to do is to step into the hardware store
and get 1t ready made--a piece that will fit
just as well as the regular lengths. Who
will be the first to issue the fractional stove
pipe and aid the cause of religion. -i'echs
Sun Hr
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
netter than Sine Expeeaea.

ssYour letter received. In reply am
happy to say that Parker's Hair Baisam
did much more for me than you said it
would, or than expected. My hair has
not only stopped falling out, but the bald
spots are all covered, and all my hair has
grown thicker, softer aud more lively
Thank you again and again.. Extract
from letters of Mr.. r. w. t., West Fifty
third street, New York. j. 21.4w.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
q rishcrmau'. Fight with mn Alligator.

Fishcrmnu's Fight With mn Alligator.
terrible alligator story comes from Ia
bssco. A young fisherman, Juan p. de los
Rios, was attacked by an alligator that
measured eight feet in length. Rios wa'
bathing in the Usumacinta river near his
boat when he received blow on the back
The alligator had struck him with his tail
as he was swimming along. Rios was un.
armed, but pulling an oar out of his boat,
stuffed ii between the ugly worries of the
alligator just MS they were about to close on
his arm. The struggle would, however,
have ended disastrously for Rios If he had
not succeeded in climbing into his boat.
Selling his axe, he split open the head of
the alligator. In the encounter Rios was
terribly laceratsd. --zioo Repu5lics GUY Fl
NJ rim
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11
NV Druo Store has been reno

My Drug Store has been removed
from Al Church street to the adjoining
store, corner of Main aud Church streets
q. W. Hunts old stand), which has been
remodeled, where with increased room
and facilities l hope not only to retain
the old customers, but gather new ones.
]. FRANK GRoMAE.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1885-02-11

CAOVsC COLLEGIATE INSTITUTE, for
OOOA - young ladies'. Advantages I'M
surpassed. GEORGE W, Cook, Phi. D., Principal,
flughkeepsie, N. Y. ~. la-8m.
Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-07-08

The struggle e. see her ss she came in
and swept slowly down % the altar
escorted by Major Newell, the best man Of
the Count. was even greater than that to
see the tiny Count. and she smiled. IA
though enjoying the sensation she created.
and walked still more slowly It must
have seemed - her that she was moving
through some deep ravine OF human tunnel.
for The crowd closed about her on ali Sides
leaving epen only n little lane hanked by
towering forms AZ she reached the chan
cel Count Naxri snd Mss Adams we're
helped down from their seats and joined
her and her escort snd the four stood
waiting fer tbe minister. Ea5or NeweU
i The widower - the rsiazet Minnie War
reu sai a srother-ia-iew ~ the bride.
Everything wss ressiy ant Dr. Watkins
came forward ard velcon ed tie four
r,islzets upon re raised platform where
thn rrfpis stands he = above ths nisdi
urn heixbt. and a. the hri8ai party stcpss
fn frout a hira their heaas reached barely
to hfs waist He booked down upon them
IN a projecting wav. srd G. the cougrsgs-
tio1 Is sesnsef as rnouaa the solsnaa servics
wss being rad 0~fare two babes. Taei-
fscas were esrned ap - hiE and re Coons
- @-s-s>s-si- ae-s.l~ ssssrsass ne tha S~xs-s-
Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-07-08

sA4t boaad Ein y tbs sailing hEiiis lslss5F
- lis side.
As t1s 6rst sardc Of tas prayer no@tsd
sat azaoax th< eoezr~zasioa Ehers Vas .
simultaneous rssxis sA1 every Lady sook
>ee2Sion - change her pestEi2s- rhssss
Enzt ssra IA fr0nt stood up Ia their psss,
ne ladies' who acre - fortunate as - get
places halfway do~n stood upoa tbs seats
~ the ps~s. a1d tAoss sh0 czuas IA fash
soaahly ate aaa had ~ take back places.
abandoned al fears q fsll a1d ciiLnbsd
lPon the very backs Of ths psws. eingiRz
soon. another for sapportt And il was with
sns aadisacs ia this unconventional posi-
10R thai she ceremony vas gone through
@lth aud Mrs Tom fhumb pronounced the
Countess Mari
TIE last words were barely spoken when
sAs little nobleman threw both arms. lover
fashion, about bis wife's neck, she threw
asrs about has - aist. and the great audi
snee held It's breath for one moment and
caught the faintest ec>D or = smacs. Thea
5he minister bent down - follo~ a good
example, bat De coald not reach her hps-
Placing one hand Ca tie nOor as he bent .
second time he succeeded Ia getting low
enough, and the ladies spplaudei family
.s the big uAn touched the little lady's
Ups. The couples marched through another
living tunnel 10 the Murray Hill Hotel,
where they will spend the honeymoon.
As soon As they left the ladies swarmed
about the altar and fell upon the flowers,
earring the wreaths and bouquets aud pot
ed plants 20 pieces aud bearing OF great
branches as mementoes OF the swell mar
rage Ia noble low life--N. L. H0rld.
Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-07-08

the church were blocked with the crowds.
Rev. DR.. w. F.W atkins, rector ofthe Church
Of the Holy Trinity, corner OF Madison
avenue and Forty second street, performed
the ceremony, and the altar and chancel
were prcfusely decorated with flowers.
Every society lady seemed anxious 10 be
present, and ticket-speculatOrs were vainly
offering FIVE dollars for cards of admission.
IL was an exclusive congregation that be-
gan % crowd into the church fully an hour
before the tise set for the services, and
such leaders as Mrs. William b. Astor,
Mrs Paran Stevens and Miss Jerome
crushed against the trapeze girl Of the
circus and the bareback "Queen of the
arena" in their search for the best seats.
A white satin ribbon had been stretched
across the center aisle with a view To re-
serving two or three rows of front pews,
but the crowd was too eager for good
places 70 mind this and swept ii aside in
spite Of the indignant protests of half a
score OF big officers with clubs. Inspector
Dilks, for once, was unable to control the
crowd "You can't club woman worth
5000, 900" be complained, "and you can't
keep back a woman who looks clear through
you" SO they had their way.
Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-07-08

the CE1EGn Cf
ths Holy Trinity
o. see tas csrs
BloBy as 80
very hg thai
6fty six-f00t po-
iiesn e "a we're
led 30 keep
ths cro~d from
snlotheriag vita
caresses the cute
nliiget bFlds .
aud the dear liz
tie love Of a
brfdsgF . o m-
n r Z . m
4 IN 10 B. tn .
Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-07-08

bride. Who was married under her real
aasne II NJ. l.avinia Ssrattoa, Is widow
and had gone through with the marriage
service once before, bat for Count Primo
Magri, Of Bologna, Italy, il ~as a aes sx-
perisnce, and be looked as happy as a man
fouF times ais size
As bshrted the sofy lineage OF the blue
blooded groom, admission 60 the church
Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1885-07-08

And nice way il was, too. Every pew
downstairs was more than fun, the CALLER
les had standing room only, and even that
precinct sacred 70 giggling, the organ loft,
was given over to sight-seers. The con-
gregatiOn was made up almost entirely of
ladies, and they gossiped together and
laughed over the struggles of a few out
of-place men tEying to find a resting
place.
There was a shout from the hundreds OF
people outside "a way was made for little
carriage that set down Count Magri and
the pretty bridesmaid, Lucy Adams, at
the door. Inside the church the shout was
echoed and every ybody stood up and craned
their necks 70 catch glimpse OF the Bo-
logna bridegroom as be paced down the
aisle with the midget bridesmaid on his
arm. Her dress was cut very low. reveal
ing pair Of soft satin shoulders, whose
rounded pinkness would have shamed
those Of a baby Mrs. Langtry. The couple
climbed up into seats in the front pew and
waited ten minutes for the appearance of
the bride.