Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-02-27
MIKES SIGNS.
How an Intelligent Irishman Posed as .
Professor.

The writer heard the following story
a few evenings since. To him it was
very amusing, as well as a good illus
tration Of the aptness Of different minds
o misconstrue the same facts in quite
opposite directions.
Some time ago a learned Frenchman
'ecame very enthusiastic on the subject
# a universal language for the human
:ace.s After much thought and theo-
rizing on the subject he came to the
conclusion that the only language that
could be universal at the present day.
must be a language of signs. Being
deeply impressed with the Importance
of this language to humanity, he deter
mired to travel from country to country
and teach it in all their colleges and
universities.
AS it happened, the first country he
reached in his travels was Ireland, and
the first institution he went to was tho
University at Dublin. !
He called upon the President Of the
University, and after some conversa-
ton with him asked him if he had a
professor Of signs in his University.
Now there was no professor of signs in
the University, but the President, not
wishing to be behind the learned
Frenchman, told him hat they had one,
The President was asked to be intro
1uced to him. The Presidentwas taken
aback at this, but told him that he
could not see the Professor that day,
out if he would call the next day at the
same hour he would introduce him.
After the Frenchman had gone the
President called his professors together
and told them the fix he was in, and
told them that one of them must play
the part of professor OF signs next day.
They all demurred and objected to this,
being afraid that they might be caught
by the Frenchman.
AS none of them were willing to play
the part, they at last decided TO train.
Mike, the choreman, for it. Mike had
lost an eye, and was very sensitive,
about it, thinking that people were
constantly noticing it and making allu-
,ions to it.
Mike was consulted, and consented.
to play the part, providing that the
trcnchman should not refer to his de-!
feet.
The next day the President and pro-
tessors dressed Mike up in a good suit
OF clothes, took him to a recitation
:oom, seated him alone on the plat
:orm, and then retired, for the French
man was to see him alone. Before
they left him they told him what to do.
and that he must not speak.
He replied: Sure I'll not, if he SEE
,aothin' about me oye."
At the appointed time the Frenchman
called, and was ushered into the .treci-
tatlon-room of the Professor of Signs"
lhe PRESIDENT and professors waited in
IN ADJOINING room anxiously for the re-
suit. In a short time the Frenchman
came back to them, apparently much
"How did you like our Professor of
,lgns?" inquired the President.
every much, indeed. Congratulate
you on your able Professor. 1 am more
than ever convinced that the language
2f signs is to be the universallaneuaee.
When Went into the room I held up
me niger, meaning there is one God.
&c understood me at once, and held up
.Wo fingers, meaning Father and Son.
then held up three fingers, meaning
there are three persons in the Trinity
tie replied by doubling up his hand,
meaning: And these three are one !
then withdrew. 1t is wonderful. I an
delighted"
After the Frenchman had gone, the
resident and professors sent in haste
or Mike, for though they were
PLEASED 3ieasea at having gotten out of the
hear Mikes account Of the inter
t5eMi y N,k' &c came mei in, very angry; Il
ABOUT me oye. The first thing he did
was tlIl hould up wan finger, MANN
L had but wan eye."
What did you do then, Mike?"
ssked the President. W
Sure | held up me two FINGERS. till
ct him know l had two fists: an phat
does the durty BLACKBOARD do bus
Mould up three fingers. R'anin' we had
put three Dyes betwans us. Thin I
uouoled up me fist, and would "a u
1ye, but he COMMUNIST a-smilin' an o.
levin an, a-scrapin', an wint out IL
'ne ~-AayDer's Maoazin,