, 1885-05-03
THE BAFFLED POTTER
CONSERVING AGAINST BROTHER GARD
NER, OF THE LlME-KlLN CLUB.
A sand-c1ub Suspended over the Heads
OF the Base Trio of Malcontsnts-
The Tragedy Enacted ON
the Landing.


The excitement which has prevailed
among certain OF the older member Of the
club cams 10 a climax Saturday evening.
What cccaslonsd the excitemsnt was kept a
prof ound secret among a dozen, but 1t may
be stated here that the rumpus was kicked
up by Professor Sunfowsr Smyth, n local
member with a harelip and toes turning in
For some weeks past the professor has
hankered for an official position. and falling
to secure recognition Of his merit& he or
ganized a conspiracy TO dethrone Brother
Gardner. By circulating many false state
ments, and by forging the names OF several
individuals to false documents. he enlisted
the symplthies OF Elder Anthony Swift,
Deacon Cohort Davis and Judge Cut Of
Kemperberry. lie approached Huekleberry
Thomkins with the plan. and even went so
far as to offer him a new 5o-cent door-mat
To join tho conspiracy. but Brother Thomp-
kins WA trus blue and gave the whole af-
fair away.
When tho meeting was called to order tho
three conspirators were in their seats, On
tirely unsuspicious OF the sand-club which
was hanging over their heads, while the
president, Sir Isaac Walpole, Waydown Be
bee. and others in the ring. carried very se-
rious c~ountenances. The plot OF the con-
spirators was not fully ripe. Professor
Smyth was just settling himself down &c
iound Elder Toots In the matter, whom
Brother Gardner rose up and said;
"Envy am de parent OF half dc wicksdness
In dis world. One OF dc fust principles Of
human natur' am to begrudge some oddef
pusson's good luck, but de mint common
sonse am called in fur consultation dis envy
diappears-except in isolated cases.
W envy de rich. while it's p'raps our own
fault entirely dat We am not classsd among
EN-
I'VE envy talent an yet We am fo'ced to
acknowledge to our selves dat we frew away
our opportunities.
@Find ms a man who am down on his fell
lowman on gineral principles an IN show
ye a chap who orter be in state prison by de
same rule
DE Iawd put us heah for each TO make
his own way. De field am world wide, wild
plenty Of room fur all. II one, by his ap.
plicashun, perseverance, integrity an do
Termination, towers above de one who waits
fur luck an' fec Is his soul on envy, any con-
spiracy to pull him down should be sot down
on by all good msn. Bruder Smyth, Swift,
an Davis. I should like to see de three OF
you at do foot Of de staircase. OAR am a
leetlo matter dat l wish to discuss in
private"
The trio Of conspirators were evidently
greatly surprised ut the request. but sus
pectsd nothing and followed the president
Town stairs As no one else was permitted
to follow. it may never b. known what hap
pened on the landing. What the meeting
heard may. however. throw some genera
light upon the subject
l. Yells OF terror.
=. Sounds OF hesls striking the walls.
i Sounds OF cloth being ripped and torn
and boot-heels striking the fence on thu
other side OF the alley.
4 Observation-Disclosures silence
3. The echoes Of the toe of a No. Is boo
striking against coat-tails.
Soon after these last mentioned sound
had died away Brother Gardner entered tn,
room with a sweet smile on his face, and
walked straight to his seat without a word
There was blood on his left ear, the polish
was worn of his right boot, and one end Of
his collar was unbuttoned, but this might
have happened to any man who had fallen
downstairs.
"Misssr president, shall l cross de three
namas Off dc bookf' asked the secretary.
"De char reckons you may" was the an
swer. "an' we will now take up de reg'laI
bnl O. fare"