Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-09-08
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE grandest performance out-Nisgara in
her great cater act.-7er28 Sift1Egs.
ANoRTHwEsT editor declines to marry be-
cause great mems sons hardly ever amount to
anything L0uisciHe Courier -J0urhai.
LITTLE GIRL-"Please, ma, may 1 have n
egg?" Ma-"DOnr say egg: say an egg"
Little Chilean have neg?" Ma That
isn't ght" Little Girl, desperately -"E Please,
ma, can have an hegs?'-DetroitE Free FresS.
4 TOURIST passing through a VILLAGE OBJ
served the following on board: "Horses
taken in 70 grass Long taiis, 81 20, short
tails. ST." The owner OF tue land being asked
the reason Tor the differences OF prlce, replied :
"Hou see, ms'am, the long tails can brush
away the flies; but the short ones are so tor
mented By them they can hardly eat at ALL"
THE United States can laugh and jeer
And vent a scOrnful th0ut,
For bad Canadian bank cashier
Has suddenly skipped out
From the TOOst Of a scamp and the haunt of a
knave
For the land OF the free and the home Of the
brave" -Nel1 York Morning. Journal.
SATISFACTORY RESULTS. Clerical looking
gentleman Ito oy-"My little man, can you
direct me to the camp meeting" Little boy
lin great haste)-''I essir. It's jest on de odder
side OF de bill GentlemaD-"Ah, thanks. 1
suppose the attendance is large and the re-
suits satlsfactory2H Little boy with enthusi-
asm-" Yessir. de results is worry satisfact Try.
Me fadder tapped kag o beer jest outside de
grOun's an sold 1t all in less'n an honr. I'm
going for an odder kag."-Life.
A LOCAL LAWYER tells a good story on
Emery a. Storrs, the Chicago lawyer, p0liti-
clan and bon vivant. The country remem-
hers the big dinner which Storrs gave to the
bad tempered old Lord COleridge. Chief
Justice of England, couple Of years ago at
chi Cages StOrrS is an lmprOVldent fellow,
and his debts are as big as his head and
practice. The dinner COST SLIGO. but just as
It was about to be eaten Il constable levied on
it. and the guests had 10 chip IN to pay the
officers claim-about $3.50.
THE st. Louis Globe Democrat cheerfully
comes along with the following snake and
toad story: A West Union, Mo, the other
dav, after a heavy blast had been fired in a
vein of hard blue limestone, the wOrkmen
found live toad and a petrified snake in a
little hole IN tho solid stone. The spake,
which was eighteen inches long, was sticking
TO one OF the toad's hind legs. Appearances
indicated t1at al a remote age, his anakeship
had caught the toad By the leg and swallowed
nature had hurled both deep in a stratum #
mud, since hardened into stone.
SEPTEMBrR's CoME.-
SOW /, tue weird September come,
When pheas Az s. scunt tEei- woodland drum,
A Qd farmers rate the seasons sum
Aud tUrp their apl Lea into rum;
When summers host IL stricken dumb,
s nd seaside pairs do cease 10 Vum;
while house wives do their jellies scum,
Aud kStydids do quit their mum.
And certain insects do sUCcumb,
And schOOib0ys look them sOrter CLAM
Because their Gnal SWIM they've swum.
" hen tutors check their yearly bum"
And frosts the garden truck doth numb.
| And trHmo IA shelter seek a chum,
| Anc denu,ts plate tue healed gum
Aud plumbers eng them lum- te-tum
| AT prospect Of the nearing plum.
- Yonkers GGseite.