Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-05-13
MY LOVE STORY.

there no insuranceH'
1 had been tempted all day, tempted
by fate and the devil. All summer long
I had been trying to clasp hands for a
life journey with man did not love;
a man noble of soul and born to the
purple, who set up high lineage against
my poor gifts of beauty and song. He
threw some love into the scales, too, but 1,
God help me, had none to give In return.
! had bartered ercwhile my whole pos
sessions for few glances of dark,
dark eye, and my note had gone to pro-
test.
Could I, could IP 1t kept following
tonight was to give my answer to my
high-born lover.
Itried to look things in the face, to
count the cost.
Money was good thing; it insured
one warmth in winter and delicious cool
ness in summer, and prettiness and
daintiness, and the entrance into good
society. Yes, money was good thing,
and position and power, and houses
and lands. So far, good; but my soul
hungercd and thirsted for love COM
mensurate with my own, which this
man, who offered me purple and gold,
had it not in his power to give, or, let
me qualify that, had it not in his nature
to give.
The stars came out golden and soft,
and the fragrant summer dusk crept
around me where sat inhaling the scent
of the roses. Ambition and love tore
my heart by turn, and WEAKNESS, too,
put in poor pitiful plea, for / was so
tired, so tired.
1t was brilliant future hat,Rcginald
Dacre offered me, wherein toll and
WEAKNESS could never come. Thought
of the purple and fine linen; the lux
urious rest; the emoluments! Then my
daily life passed in review before me
that of companion to a naughty, fine
lady, and singer in a fashionable
church, among fashionable saints and
sinners. / began to Groom over the old
satire:
".In a:church which is sarnishcd with mullion
and gable,
with altar and rcredos, with gargoyle and
Tho penitents' dresses are senlskin and sable,
The odor of sanctity's eau de cologne.
But surely II Lucifcr flying from Hadcs,
Could gaze at this crowd, with its paniers
and paints,
He would say, looking round at the lords and
the ladies,
20 where, 4 All Sinners, if this is All
had entered upon this life from an
unloved and unloving home, home
doled out to me by the tardy justice Of
q grand-uncle who had robbed me of my
Inheritance. thought at first 1 might
find the sangreal somewhere in this
new country, which seemed so fair, but
alas! had not even heard the swish
of wings. ..t..
thought of it all-thc fever and the
fret; the petty jars; the misunderstood
ings; the pain of incomprehension; the
unguerdoned toll; the tagging hours;
the awful pauses.
This or marriage; this or marriage.
It, seemed written like a placard on
earth and sky. 1t seemed bound like
phylactery upon the brows of the peo-
pie as they passed to and fro; and soon
the word marriage lost all its signif-
canoe for me, as words do after oft re-
peating. Did it mean misery or happi.
ness, bliss or woe? This marriage
that rung its changes through my brain
was it God-appointedP Did II mean
God blessing or His curse?
You know did not love this man
who offered me rest from my labors
He had not power to evoke one thrill al
his call. But then love is only one
reason why ono should marry man.
There might be love and plenty o.
money, and yet one go hungry all onc'l
life. l have known such things.
had tried to make my life straigh,
and fair. / had tried to keep clear
hands and pure heart; tried-Got
who knows the secrets of all hearts
knows this-to fight despair.
|" - Long, green days,
Worn bare OF grass and sunshine; long calm
nights
From which the silkcn sleeps were frcttc'
De witness for me-"
We see through shadows all our lii
long. We come into this world with
out our being given choice as to on
advent, and go out oft in the same man
ner. -
We have not been consulted rs I,
birth or death. More and moro the prayc
ofEpictetus haunts me. Lead me, Ecu
and Destiny, whithcrsocvcr 1 am ap
pointed to go; I will follow withou
wagering; even though I turn cowar
and shrink, shall have to follow a.
the same" t..f-.
Should marry Mr.. Dacrcp Was h
q good partip as the world said. To
good for me, as my lady elegant
phrased it.
i had been born into the world ami
fierce throcs of mental anguish. M
mothers heart was rent with the gres
pain Of my fathers sudden death
drowned off the Cornish coast, for Wa
born at sea. She lived until / was te
years old, a life of sorrow, and povcrt,
and remuneration. Then shc died, lea'
ing me TO the care of a congressional
world and my uncle. OF him / hay
already spoken.
My life dragged on with clogge
wheels. I was always at war wit
my surroundings. Though too proud
express IL, I had never realized m
ideal Of womanhood, or in any wa
grown up to my aspirations and dream
II j had grown mt Nil II had bee
} through pain and rcpression--a fat