The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-08-15
DAVID AND GOLIATH.
IBin Nye, in St. Paul Herald. l

Goliath was originally tae gtant an a side show in Gath, at $t3 week. but when the war broke out he enlisse in the army of the PhihSsineS more for the bounty than anything else. This life seemed to hit him about right, tor Coli sih was naturally lazy and triiing. Of course I'm telling you this in my own language, 5:: I'm giving II to you straight.
 When the army of Israel campsd over in the valley of Elan, it looked pretty squally for Saul and he fell hke sending in bis resignation.
 Every morning after breakfast, Goliath dressed in his brass plug hat and cast iron corset and copper clothes, would sait out and poke fun al Saul and his home guards.
 Goliath was large, husky yahoo from the headwaters of the Chug and had a hand on him like horse block. He was muscled up in good shape, too. When he began on man. IL meant six months in the hospital with careful nursing, and if Goliath felt hurt and erisved about sow .. thing a man had said about him and took the man aside to have ht,le talk aboa; it, the mans widow applied right off tor the lite insurance. ln this way Goliath used to be respected very much around Gath.
 50 every day he would come out on the mesa al d sass the armies of Israel and tell Saul that II he had tull-grown man who had any sand, he would like to have hlia come over and get himself measured tor par of wings. Day after day he would walk oui with his bomb. proof clothes on and cordially invite tte Israel tes to come over one a, time and let ot his people, declined the invitation with thanks. He told Goliath that whlle he would be glad to meet him for a little soh-slove tete- -a-tete, he would have to decline any meeting on basis of open hostility. This caused the campaign to drag and the daily papers in Israel began to criiicise Saul and to ask why he did not come home and hoe corn instead of fooipg away his time on the Phllis,ines
 ust then David came down from his fathers sheep ranch on Independence mountain, over against Bethlehem, Judah, on the old California trail, to sec how the war was progressing. He wanted to take a trip to some place where there would be no danger of bodily harm, so his pa rents thought ], would be safer perhaps tor him 10 go down to the front where war waged its wild desolstion, and threat ened our land to destroy" They told him to go down where the two armies were engaged in open hostilities and they would feel perfectly easy abou, him ; but they cautioned him not to wander away from the army into the woods and get lost.
 So David went over to hear Goliath speak his piece. Every morning for eighty days the dime museum giant came. and opened court, requesting the lsraelites to come over and meet a fate worse than death. But the lsraelites preferred death by general debility and old age. They had relations at home on whom they were dependent
 Just as David got to the front, Goliath came out and spoke with a loud voce and cried out and dehed the armies of Israel, and Sauls army scattered and fell over each other trying to get into the woods, and behold there were not trees enough for all the soldiers of the armies of Israel to climb.
 And David was disgusted and told Saul that he would like to go out and heot the Phihsine if some courageous Israel. te would come along and hold his coat for him. Every body laughed at David, and his brothers especially. as soon az they had stopped running and got bchlnd tree acd recovered their breath, began to ridicule David. But David insisted on lt and told Saul that one time when mountain lion and a gr,r1ly bear came and carried of several of his fathers sheep he ran after them and overlook them, and after he had knocked the lion silly with his fist, he ran his hand dosn the bears throat and turned him wrong side out. The king said. '' We'll, did you really do that5 tyou did, I've a good notion to give you the freedom Of the Phihstine camp, and ifyou will bring me Goliath's scalp, stretched on shingle, will give you all the money you want and my only daughter, for I'd just as soon tell you in confidence, that this sid. show giant Is getting to be perfect eyesore to me, and between you and me, think he is ov1doing this thing and making a nuisance of himself
 So David said he would go, and Saul dressed him up in railroad iron ever NNSN WI AAS wy NOofoA ha1QAC H. fiC took of the fire and burglar proof over- coat and filled his pockets full of rocks and sailed in.
 When Goliath came out he turned his nose up at David and asked him if his mother knew he was out. He talked mean to David and finally told him to come over and he would feed him to the coyotes
 Then David in a gentlemanly way told Goliath that he didn't claim to be much of talker in public, but that he relied on the righteousness of hls cause. He came not with words and banners and torchlight processions, bu; he believed he was right and came there 10 prove II. He was no pubic speaker. he said, Ili be thought this thing had gone about far enough. He then surprised Goliath vita a moss agate behind the ear. The gen tleman from Gath sell to the earth with ~.~I- ! n | s-I | 4