Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-04-30
MATRIMONY.
A New Terror Added to the Honora biz
Estate.

A New Terror Added to the Honora BILE
Estate.
Of late years there have been so
many complaints both of the unfitness
of young women for wives and the I'M
fitness of young men for husbands that
the honorable estate of matrim ony
might almost be thought to be falling
into disrepute, did not statistics reas-
sure doubling public by showing that
the wedding ring is as numerous as
ever. But if dispatch from Macon,
Ga, which purported to relate the sur
prising experience and melancholy fate
of Mrs. Fannie Howard be true, a more
formidable obstacle to the union of
twin souls has arisen than the most
confirmed cynic and pessimist ever
imagined. or hoped for. According to
the Macon dispatch the lady in ques-
ton was widow. After her husband S
death one Sterling came into the neigh
borhood. ''The widow, struck by
Sterling's remarkable resemblance to
her late husband, encouraged his adj
vances,'' and, in a word. they
were married. And now
comes the remarkable part
of this highly interesting narrative.
Gas soon as the bridal pair stepped out
into the hallway, while the lady's at
tention was attracted by some object,
she felt her arm deprived of its sup
port, and looking up quickly observed
that she was standing alone. Her hus-
band had vanished into. air. She has
come to the conclusion that it was the
materialized spirit of her first hus-
band" 1t is superhuous to remark that
this is startling and altogether weird
de,aouenaeaat; but it is much more than
that, for If true Git is perhaps necessa-
ry to emphasize the condition) brand
new vista is hereby opened, down which
are ranged striking assortment of
novelties in domestic and social catas-
trophies.
Bridegrooms have vanished before.
but not thus. We have all heard of
materializations, also, but they have
been iudiciously confined to the seance-
room, and sceptics have complained
that they manifested a lack of purpose.
But if spirit bridegrooms are to revisit
the pale glimpses of the moon, clothed
in so perfect fac-simile of flesh that
their relicts can not distinguish be-
tween them and mortals, and if they
are to resume the domestic relations of
life in so far as to circumvent the afore-
said relicts, only to leave them in the
lurch by the most unprincipled and
heartless characterization at the
church door, what security or assur-
ance can there be any more forever
against such post-mortem pleasantries?
Nor is it widows alone who are men
aced by this thoroughly illegitimate
mixing up of two states of being.
Spinsters will have to devise means of
testing the solidity and permanency of
their sutors, and science will be called
upon to invent new methods of detect
ing materialized spooks who would a
counting 60.
And it is not every widow who de-
sires further relations with the dear
departed. Cagliostro made his great
est hit by announcing that he was GO
inc to resurrect the dead in a French
country church-yard. All the heirs,
all the widows, thronged to the magic
ian, and paid him lavishly to let their
dead rest The moral is obvious. The
naturalization of husbands would not
as a rule be popular, and the uncer-
taintv of their Standardization would
produce state of painful tension, both
in the domestic circle and society. On
the whole, therefore, the best that can
be hoped is that the Macon dispatch
did not relate facts; and this conclusion
will, fortunately, be more easily reached
by the majority than its extremely dis
tressing and perturbing contrary
N. r. Tribune.