Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-09-04
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE,

President Cleveland, according to all
accounts, is meeting with no rcverses at
the poles.
No man ever had II real "rattling good
time" unless he has ridden across Il New
England pasture in haYrack
Neither bustlcs nor corsets are worn in
Japan, and when japanese maiden sits
down in a skating rink she gets her
moneys worth every time.
"a bald header wants to know how to
dye the hair permanently. First catch
your hair.
A recent editorial in the London Ne,cs
was over three columns long The editor
was probably in Il hurry, and had no time
to write Il short one.
An exchange, in quoting from an es-
teemed contemporary, refers to it as the
Brooklyn UniOn (Mug) This Mug"
has an ugly look about it,
1t is well known that an editor never
runs from anything, but he frequently
shows his heels, Especially when he
wears low shoes.
An exchange has an article on "The
Language of Vegetables" The language
of onions, we should think, would be more
remarkable for strength than eloquence
Microscopists have ascertaned that flies
are annoyed by minute insects Has the
! microscope ever discovered a bald -headed
fly =? If so, we will call it even.
"The Hamilton county, Ohio, prohibit
ton convention met at Cincinnati yester-
day and nominated full ticket" says an
exchange. We don't believe the ticket
. uh ., e
the convention, or it would have been
promptly repudiated.
The bald-headed mans favorite dress
material is mohair
Lightning recently broke into North
Carolina house and destroyed woman's
bonnet The lightning had a mighty mar
row escape.
A correspondent wants to know if bees
ever lose their temper We can't say, but
we are positive their stings don't.
The latest recipe to keep from sneezing
il to 'close the eyes and open the mouth
till the sensation is gone Seems as
though we had seen people trying this in
church.
a young man at Plymouth, Pa, had
three teeth drawn by dentist, and his
jaws became soimmovable that they could
} not be closed again. And yet a woman
= will have every tooth in her head pulled
out, and then go home and jaw her hus-
band until her false teeth drop out. Ma
ture sometimes seems to be all turned
| around.
, ooh such Il brilliant thought has
struck me ~ exclaimed a dude to IA pretty
trirl 'Inlapl ~ he absent IN inIpG
reply lit must have been Il stray shot
Since we have seen the newspaper por
, traits of Governor Hoadly we know why
the country doesn't want any more Presi-
dents from the State of Ohio.
The Springfield Rcpublicdn tells about
1 a man who thought he was cured by the
; faith cure, and went back to work. "TwC
Z weeks have passed" it adds, "and he is
: dead, cursng the faith cure that shorten
q ed his life" Seems us though this wa,
: rather unbecomng conduct for corpse
1t is said that the Emperor of Japan cal
trace his ancestors back in an unbrokel
= line for 25O0 years. 1t may be as well t
e add, however, that this is all he has to do
5 Almost any man, with the bulk of hi
: time on his hands. could do the same.
i Senator Patt recently shot the larges
q deer ever killed in the Adirondacks. II
{, can now nod at the ghost of old Nimroc
e and murmur, Me too. ''-NCW lOr
h JOuFItul
e Oscar Wilde's first baby is Il boy. Thi
Il is encouraging. 1t looks now rs though
= there might be Il man in the family som
day.-SomtrrUic JOWndl,
p The Duchess of Edinburgh is said t,
:. have such an appetite that she is ASHAMED
> to accept invitations to dinner. II she
!, fill up on harvest apples about an hour bt
, fore going out she'd wonder where he
. hunger went tO.-Detro{t Free Press.
d Emerson said that mans hardest task i
q to think. Yes, it surely IA hard task
~. but it is not the hardest. The most diff
"a cult task is sometimes the labor, the sell
is denial, required in reading the thought
N of men who find thinking so painful
T. HdnSur TruroIcr.
,e Are there any vacancies in our schoC
IS board at present, Mr.. Plump :" "NacaG
y ces? Well, | should say there was. Io
A. just attend one of their regular discus
sons, and if you don't make up your min
l. there isn't one of them but has vacanc.
$ in his upper story, then I'll miss m
ID guess. OHkCrs GuzCttC,
N "Where are you going, Johnny Don
n you see how ii is raining 7?
"GeS'm. I'm going in swimming"
40 Going in swimming Why, you foo
- ish boy, you'll get yourself wringing we
~ if you go in swimming in such Il Shove
"a as this. Wait till the rains over.'-BOst"
~ Courier
The difference between a trout and
u, pigeon is that the one rises to fly, an
~ ~ the other flies to arise.-LOtrcU Courier
10 Prince Louis Battenburg is said to be Il
II. excellent practical printer. This informi
n ton will be a relief to many who have fel
yt anxious as to how he and his wife are 70
n ing to get on with an income of 5000
- year.-BOStOH I'rdrGllCr.
So it appears that Maxwell, the St. LOU
g. murderer, is Brooks, and not Maxwell
IN and that Preller who was murdered is nc
H. Preller, and was not murdered. Thus tn
Id mystery deepens, HdruOrd Post.
le silk socks are cheaper than silk stock
ne ings. 1t seems hardly necessary to eN
to plain that they come lower because the
l.. 10 IL liLrh SnLILL.l,iLLL INN.