davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09

trick of dropping from their horses
when closely pressed, and shooting the
pursuer in the back when the impetus
of his horse had carried him beyond
HIM. Baylor was on the lookout, and
stopped almost with the Indian, who
fired, however. and cut the captains
belt in front. Baylor pulled, but the gun
snapped, and the Indian fired again, cut
ting the belt behind. The captain
jumped behind his horse, put on a fresh
cap and shot. The Indian had turned
to run, but received fatal injury and fell,
continuing to shoot, however, as he lay
on the ground, land we made dog rags
of him." the captain said.
Indians prefer to steal horses, and
they travel faster, carry better, and, to
the savage palate, are quite as desirable
for food. When a harse breaks down
on II raid he is killed and eaten, and a
mule is thought to be a delicacy and a
donkey passes for indian pie. When
cattle or horse thieves were caught by
the rangers or legal authorities trials and
convictions and the penitentiary followed,
but if the thief was caught by the owner
or a posse of citizens he would receive
an intima.ion that an opportunity for es-
cape would be afforded him. This he
understood perfectly-he was running
the gauntlet, and was almost invariably
riddled.
The later and present condition of
things'is totally different from the old
time uncertainty, laxity and unsafety.
Organizations are so perfected, so vigi-
liant and SO powerful that the outlaw
knows he takes his life in his hand at
every attempted wrong, and the officer
knows that public opinion is stronger
than misused authority, so that interest
and policy alike conspirc to make every
man an instrument for the enforcement
of law and order.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09
Leshia'S Poem.

In Puck's ANSWERS for the Anxious
a correspondent" Lesbia who sends
a poem is disposed of as follows: Yes,
dear, it is a very pretty poem: but, bless
your young heart, we have the receipt
for making that kind of thing by the
gross. 1t is much more easy than the
well-known acrobatic feat of rolling off
a log. 1t is frequently very difficult to
roll off a log-to roll it off another mans
wood pile without attracting the atten-
ton of the dog, for instance. But any
body can write that kind of poem. All
you have to do is to give an accurate
machine-made description of nature-say
like this:
Now the snow is softly falling
On the meadows bleak and bare, ,
And the snowbirds sad are calling
To each other through the air
You can 60 on with that kind of thing
and chase the feeting Muse as long az
the soles of your balmoral hold out
thus. as it were:
Now the tumtlm tumpty tid1ies
And the tiddy tumtum tees
While the itty um that iddies
Turns with tumtum all the trees.
SO The
Like a
And l hear the
Gently dropping through the air
Then, when you think you have done
about enough for your country in this
line, you car finish up with the case and
grace of a trapeze- performer, after this
fashion
Silent are the frozen sparrows,
Round the house the storm-wind huns;
Now the Frost-king shoots his rrows-
Choose pneumonia or gums,
Lesbia, we and a club can transform
our otfice-boy into a poet on that princi-
pie. You will find that you have got to
galvanize the market with something
fresher than that, if you want to step
into the great, busy, j%ostling horde of
poets and not get trodden into the shabby
mud of oblivion.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09
Trustee PuIlback's Resolution.

Trustee Pullback then offered the fol
lowing resolution:
Resolved, Dat dis Lime-Kiln club
use its influence wild Congress to secure a
greater volume CT currency.
"Bruddcr Pullback, what was you OBJ.
jock in presentin' dat resolushun2" asked
the president.
"To float out de currency, sab"
''Um! While lay de resolushun on
de table, let me gin you a few words of
advice. You has been OWN Samuel
Shin two dollars for a hull var past.
Spose'n you float dat out. You are three
months behind in your dues. Please
float six bits into de treasury. You owe
the grocer an de butcher, and de Sheriff
will soon be t1oatin' after you if you
doan' squar' W. De volume of currency
am all right. Let cherry man pay his
honest debts, an dar will be no lack of
money to do bizness wild. Let US now
sing our closin' songs an wend u way
homeward. "-DetrOn Free Press.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09

law, the Continental Congress, and sew
eral other things, and after some little
delay the door was opened and a woman
stood in the opening and asked what was
wanted.
whats going on in there-who'sb being
hurt2r
She laughed her ha! ha ha again, and
it was echoed by the voice of a man be-
hind her.
whats all this about?" shouted the
clerk.
"Why, sir" she demurely replied, 'T
was only pulling a porous plaster off my
husbands back r'-Ffee Press.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09
He Lacked Energy.

1t was almost midnight; the hands of
the clock were tolIing painfully around
their circuit; the maiden yawned and in
cidentally remarked that it was growing
late, but the youth kept his seat.
Miranda, u he said at length, 81 have
made up my mind to ask you if you will
be my wife"
II don't know" she answered, "you
seem to lack energy, and energy is an i'm
portant thing in a young man who un-
dertakes the responsibility of supporting
a wife"
"Of course but why do you think l
lack energy?'
Because there doesn't seem to be
much go to you"
"Much go to me?'
"Not much go home, at least"
He understood her .--Bost0n Courier.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
SOME OF THEIR LATEST EFFORTS
TO CREATE LAUGHTER.

Chance Cor ReIieG-MiIliOns i'm It-He
Lacked Energy - Trustee PULL
backs Resolution I'm the Limckiln
Club, Etc.
Proud Mother-"Do you know, dear,
believe our baby will be a singer, per
haps a great tenor like Brignoli or Cam
pahini?"
Tired Father-"He strikes high G
mighty often, if that's what you mean. -"
Eyes, the tones are so sweet and shrill.
l hope we will be able to have his voice
cultivated in Europe"
''By Jove good idea. Send him now"
Call.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09
Millions in Il.

mot a word to a living soul now, my
dear, but I've struck a scheme thatll
make US rich"
what is it,"
"Coflins and tombstones."
"How's that"
New treaty with Spain, you know.
American manufactures free of duty in
Cuba. Big thing. Millions in collins
and tombstones."
"Whv-"
"Sh! Not q word. They have an in
surrection in Cuba very week. Cofins'll
go like hot cakes. - Chicago NeWs.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09
A Calculation In Corn.

American papers are printing the calcu-
lation of the London Echo in regard to
the number of grains of corn that would
be on a chessboard if one grain were
placed on the first square, two grains on
the second, four on the third, and so on.
The Echo said that the corn on the squares
would fill 1,SS4, S75 barns each holding
200, 600 bushels, allowing 100, 600
grains to each bushel. A Brooklyn CORE
spondent who has figured it out.says that
the English paper is away off and gives
the following as the true figures; There
would be 1S4, 467, 440, 137, 095 bushels of
corn on the squares, which under the con-
dit;ons named would fill 1874, 467, 44O
barns.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09
Maryland, my Maryland"

Lovely daughters and noble men,

my farm lies in q rather low and MAS
matte situation, and
my wifel"
"WhoY,
WAS a very pretty blonder'
Twenty years ago became
"Sallow!'
"Hollow-eyedi'
"Withered and aged!'
Before her time, from
"Malarial vapors, though she made M
particular complaint, not being of the
grumpy kind, yet causing me great uneasi
ness.
"A short time ago l purchased your rem
edy for one of the children, WHO had a very
severe attack of biliousness, and it occurred
to me that the remedy might help my wife,
as found that our little girl upon recovery
had
"Lostr'
Her sallowness, and looked as fresh as a
new blown daisy. Well, the story is soon
told. My wife, to-day, has gained her old
timed beauty with compound interest. and
is now as handsome a matron If | do say it
myself as can be found in this county, which
is noted for pretty women. And | have only
Hop Bitters to thank for it.
The dear creature just looked over my
shoulder, and says, I can fatter equal to
the days Of our courtship, and that reminds
me there might be more pretty ,cioes if my
brother farmers would do as | have done.n
Hoping you may long be spared to do good,
l thankfully remain,
g.. /, JAMES,
BELTsvILLE, Prime George Co, Md.
May 20, 1888.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09
| POINTER FOR YOU !

You'll never loose anything by excepting posted"
Maps pamphlets, papers, etc, concerning Lands
Farming. Stock-raising, Fruit-growing. Mining, Manu-
featuring, etc, in KANSAS, COLORADO. NEw MEXICO,
ARIZONA, CALIFoRNiA and OLD MEXICO sent FREE on
application to {. b.. SCHMIDT. Commissioner Of
Immigration. A. I. & S. F.. X. R, Topeka, Kas.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09

s1#- None genuine without a bunch of green
Hops on the white label. Shun all the vile,
poisonous stuff with Hop" or Hops in
their name.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-09

Kansas has between 1900, 900 and
900, 600 head of sheep.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18


rs well. She treated me nicc-they all
did, too. Now, Iam a rough old man.
but ladies' have great attractions for the
old mountain boemers. l know I do,
(~ch"ers) and | never forgot that visit.
They looked so sweet and nice I wanted
to hug them all. When / met Mr.. Jones
1 looked at him closely, and SAW in him
a man could we'll support. He had d
hig head, too-a head like a wush-tub
eyes set away back in, and a deep think.
ing look in them, and 80, with ull this tt
think OF. after looking well about me,
after considering tn" matter we'll, afte1
sleeping with it, I have concluded to vote
for the Hon. James Il. Jones'" (Chrcr!
long and loud
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18

most wish | was dead. Teeth are a
humbug-a grand mistakc-a blunder,
an eye-tooth especially that sends it's
roo away up under the eye and makes
an abcess there. They say a child is
smart when it cuts the eye-tooth. | be-
licvc I had rather do without and he y
fool. | have had rheumatism and ali
sorts Of pains, hut | will compromis" on
anything but the tnothAchr. I've n
great respect for dentists, for they do
the best they can to relieve mankind
from this most miserable agony.
Good morning, doctor. suppose
an the unfortunate individual you have
come to doctor. l am ready for the
sack. Get out your cloriform and your
<tcel-jawcd grabs l am ready for the
sacrifice. Is thar a dagger that I sec be-
fore me
Father is in his little bed. He il
asleep now. The long agony liz over
For nasrly n hour we all wrcstlcd
Hltts " ~ I'll S"Ff ohN
lie Ind taken SO many things before tn,
doctor came that chloriCorn failed to sub
due him. 1t only male him dcliriouS
and when we could not hold him W.
called in our blacksmith, and even thcr
he pulled Us all owe the ROOM, and thu
doctor had to take him OH tn. wing
nv - " "
to be dug out in fragments. 1t was pill
full to hear him beg to 80 home. IL
has morphine now and will be all RICH
in the morning. He told me to writ
you something and | have written.
BILL. Arr, Per NJ.
just new he walked up and wanted t
know who whipped that fight, the par
rot or the monkey. NJ.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18

A Ii the new shapes in Hats and Bonuets
IA with Ribbons, Birds, Flowers, Satins
and velvets tn match.sEj ~ f
r. II. HADDON & co!
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18

The Philosopher Ia Not Proof Against
the TOOthache, but Calls for II Mush
POultice and Camphor and Pare
Eoric, Put In His little Bed, and
Now Resting Very easy.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18

The Store Of Dir. {. 4. Austin, Burgla-
riouSly Entered on Saturday Night,
the Safe Blown Open nnd the Robbers
Decamp with their Booty, Damage to
Stock md Building.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18

!" sAS ~
thing common to angels and men. The
hose is gentle and ornamental, but is not
of mnch consequence except to blow oh
a bad cold and tell the difference be-
tween cologne and codfsh, but the teeth.
Well, | think that faslc ones arc better
than the genuine for they never ache.
don't care for any now. ] am tired.
These women can have eight or ten
pulled at one time-just to get another
set. How in the world do they stand it
Pride, | reckon. womanly pride, wo-
manly nature. Her love Of the beauti.
full. But We can wear a muatachc and
hide = whole set Of rotton snags, Two.
men had beard the dentists would per-
ish.
There she goes again, and then boom.
Let me try some moore paregoric and
camphor. May be l can 20 to sleep
after q while i'll will keep dosing. |
wish / had just q small grain Of dynamite
behind that tooth, just at the end Of the
roots. I would explode it if it killed
me. = y
The doctor coming you say Merci-
ful3 heavens! Well, let him. In the
language Of Patrick Henry. II repeat it,
sir, let him come" Lay on, McDuf-
cold steea forseps, w%rcnching, twisting,
crushing, gouging. / don't believe n
have got = friend in the world. 1 a..
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18
MORTALITY
A Negro Supposed to he the Johnston
Safe Burglar IL Morally Wounded.

]By Telegraph to the Augusta Chroniclc.l
CHARLESTON, S. c., February IL
To-day Town Marshal Greed, ut John
stnn. Ehgr!i"ld county. was wounded by
a Negro named Mohiry, whom he Was
attempting to arrest. Moblcy then tried
to Kill IL drputy policeman, who shot
and mortaily wounded him. Mobley il
suspected Of having committed the safe
robbery.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18
Notice.

THE contract to fill the gully in the
l. Road near Martins Mill will be let
to the lowest responsible bidder, at said
gully, or Friday, January 10Th, 1885, a
1880 O'Clock, u. IN. Contractor to give
bond with approved ~suraties. Specif-
cations made known on day Of letting.
The right IN reserved to reject any or
all bids. a7 rs w. Z. iCOWAN.+
Jan. s, 'sb. County Commissioner.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18

nON'T FORGET. we have q modern
~ swift running power press, new
type, ruled and blank paper, envelopes
and cards-so bring inyour printing. 9
Fine Table and Hall Lamps at ". 8
Cothran & Co.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18
Tux CHoRrs.

IT Tux CHOHCB.
oven mind no more, but play.
never shall forget
That log cabin home
That log cabin home far away
Again the storm broke forth, and it
was several minutes before he could
proceed, when a lull came he continued:
"wcll, those ladies crowded around
and when Mrs. Jones stopped
playing I seized her hand and I
said: Madam, l am in love with
you,'. Shouts. yes / told her / had
fallen in love with her, and she said she
wished I'd fall in love with her husband
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18
MORE ARKANSAS III4OQUENCE

MORE ARKANSAS ELOQUENCE.
The Speech OF Baker. OF Benton, In
Changing From Berry to Jones.
Legislative report Of the Little Rock
Ark, Gazette.
Mr.. Baker, Of Benton. when his name
was reached. rose to his feet and said:
Mr.. President, I cast my first vote in
this senatorial contest 70; Governor
James II. Berry. and ! hav,. continued to
do SO up to the present time. | know
him and 1 like him. lie il u good man,
and we'll qualified to fill the office; an
honored citizen, a brave soldier, and an
able statesmen he Is high in the esteem
Of the public. 7 a am rough mar myself
! a man from the mountaiEs-and l nm
one Of those men who stick by their
friends; 7 stick by my friends when they
deserve it, when they are able and we'll
qualified, until they fall, and even then
I'll not desert them; I am like Collins's
''shecp;' when they fall I fall with them
l hated to see Governor Berry withdraw
from the field, but when I saw it must
be, I looked about me and took the
thing under. consideration and thousot
on it. l thought long and carefully
over it, and slept with it. Laughter
| SAW must cast my vote for some one
else, and | must make n choice Of the
other candidates. I'll tell you how | did
it. looked over the field. have met
the other two, and [ had studied them.
I met the Hon. Poindexter Dunn and |
saw III him many good points. saw a
fine head on him q greatly admire a fine
head) and SAW in him a great coming
man. But I tell what did the ~".s,
~R Mrs. Jones-the wife oil
THE Hon. James X. Joncs-and that set
tied it. This is how it was. I met he,
md I went and called ON hcr-ycs, thu,
did. The room was full Of beautiful
woman. | didn't hardly know what t.
do, but she sat by the piano and ! asked
her to play a little tune on it for me
Laughter. asked her that very thing
asked her ifshe could play My Old Cab.
in Home She said she would if I woult
sing q verse Of it. and ] said Id try
Cries Sing it now; let's
hear it'll You wait. l said ! would
and she touched up the pi~no. hit til.
very key note of the piece-the tune
know and love best on earth. 1t rang
and echoed about the room. The place
was full Of women. and pretty women
too. lApp'ausc.] And among them
saw Miss Roane the daughter Of ole
Govcror Roane, the lady Of whom Mr..
Mcmillan spoke so BEAUTIFULLY a while
ago. They crowded around, and right
there l stood and | sung the verse
Cries of 'Sing-sins-sivc US the verse
All right, gentlemen, to accommodate
yon I'll sing it," and clearing his throat
the gentlemen from Benton struck up /,
b%car-tonc solo and sang:
"WcIl hunt no more the grizzly
IL the nook,
Wen leave the canon all
So dry;
Well drink no moro of tho
Clear crystal brook.
So, my log cabin home, s%ood-byc.
AS the "good-hyc' floated up among
the cohwebs in the dome Of the hall the
donsely packed throng burst into cheers
and shouts, N tornado Of applause
shaking the old house, with bursts
Of laughter broke out like thun-
derbolts, and hand-clappings sound
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1885-02-18
FOR SALE.

GENERAL Pairs Of beautiful Pigs-Half
- Red Jersey and half Essex. Apply at
this Office. =
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-08-17
USEFUL IMPORTATION.
Rem edles and He llth Hints.

kem e0icS ana kAc lIbA Nnnts.
Hot, dry Aannels. applied as hot as
possible, for neuralgia.
Sprains and bruises call for an appli.
cation of the tincture of arnica.
If an artery is severed. tie a small
cord or handkerchief above it.
For bilious collie, soda and ginger in
hot water. 1t may be taken freely.
Tickling in the throat is best relieved
by gargliDg Of salt and water.
Pains in the side are most promptly
relieved by the application of mustard.
For cold in the head nothing is better
than powdereh borax shifted up the
nostrils.
Nervous spasms are usually relieved
by little salt taken into the mouth
and allowed to dissolve.
Whooping cough paroxysms are re-
lieved by breathing the fumes Of tur.
pentine aud carbolic acid.
Broken limbs should be kept in nat.
ural positions aud the patient kept quiet
until the surgeon arrives.
Hemorrhages OF the lungs or stomach
are promptly checked by small doses OF
salt. The patient should be kept as
quiet Is possible.
Sleeplessness caused by too much
blood in the head may be overcome by
applying cloth wet with cold water to
the back of the neck.
Wind collie is promptly relieved by
peppermint essence, taken in a little
warm water. For small children it may
be sweetened. Paregoric is also good.
For stomach cramps, ginger ale or a
teaspoonful of the tincture OF ginger in
. half glass Of water, in which q half
teaspoonful OF soda has been dissolved.
Sickness OF the stomach is most
promptly relieved by drinking . tea.
cupful of hot soda and water. If it
brings the offending matter up, all the
better.
A teaspoonful Of ground mustard 10
cup of warm water is prompt and re-.
liable emetic, and should be resorted to
in cases OF poisoning or cramps In the
stomach from over.eating.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1885-08-17
STOCK cows.

EAn Head OF Stock Cows, from three to
eyNyNv five years old, wanted by the under
signed, for which cash viii be paid
NJ. s. BONNIFIELD.
winnemucca, New, june 80, 1885. I'm
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1885-05-09

The acquittal of William Dickson
in Washington will give pleasure to
his Democratic friends everywhere.
1t places vest-pattern Brewster in
averyawkward position. Dickson was
foreman of the first star-route jury.
Attorney General Brewster had him
indicted for using undue influence to
prevent a conviction Of Dorsey and
the other principal defendants in the
case. The evidence shows that the
Government never had q case against
Dickson, that he was absolutely in
nocent Of the charge brought against
him, and that the action was the
result of spite on the part of that old
Philadelphia fossil, Brewster. Mr.
Dickson has now brought an action
against Brewster for $4,000 damages
for defamation of character. He
should be able to recover judgment
for the amount and we hope he will.
Brewster was q fantastic fraud of the
shallowest sort, and the escape of the
s~tar-route thieves was undoubtedly
due to his incompetence.
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1885-05-09

The announcement is made on
Wall street that Charles F. Weris-
hotter, popularity known as the "Ba-
ron of Wall Street." or the first Of
May retired from active speculation.
The business will in the future be
conducted by the partners, under the
old name, and the Baron remains as
a special partner. Werishoffer has
been for years a factor in every large
deal on the street. He is a man of
immense wealth, and will be mi ssed
from the busy mart as much as Van
derbilt or Gould. All the kings Of
'change seem to be retiring. What
is the matter? Are they really re-
forming or simply preparing for an
avalanche?
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1885-05-09

We heartily join with our evening
conte mporary, the Inter Mountain,
IN insisting upon it that the thieves,
thugs and thumpers must 60. If the
Marshal hasn't the necessary powers
they should be given to him without
delay. The vagabonds now here must
be cleaned out. The sure-thing men
and the tin.horns are not wanted by
any one and no class in the commu-
nifty has less use for them than the
true gambling man. Not only should
these s%ure-thing men be driven out,
but their haunts should be raided
and their proprietors held as accesso-
ries. The MINER will stand by the
law and by the men who will at
tempt honestly to enforce it. Drive
out the thieves.
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1885-05-09
The Common Enemy

In order to make Roadway against the COM
mon enemy, Disease, it is necessary to onn1sa
lin with persistence. 1t very freqHently bane.
PEN that a remedy perfectly adequate to the
necessities Of the case, if persisted in. is con.
eemned ana thrown aside because a lew doses
and unjust would such a judgment be reaar%s
ing Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, one of the 1,ost
popular and highly sanctioned medicines Of ths
csy, p remad 1ntT w Grant and an invariably sue
complaint, incipient rheumatism. nem2,al sss
and govt. inactivity and weakness of the Igsa
neys and 6laddsE, and for infrmities incid lent
llshed than the above, vet in orde ert !" estab-
ence its truth, those afflicted with oh snpell,
toims OF disease should give this benipns%t n as,a
awe q patient trial. Ifthey do, they nav GU cur,
decisive curative results. m"y leiy