The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1885-05-01
mrs. RANSoM's EXPERIMENT.

Mrs n. l. Rayne. IN Detroit FREQ Press
When Mrs. Ransom adontsd 4 baby from the
Orphans Homo people were not SHtFrised
They had learned to accept with equanimity
whatever that lady chose to give them, and the
baby was only something IN more tangible
shape than her theories usually assaulted.
Mr.. Ransom was surprised, though. He
had been away on q months trip among the
for his firm, and arrived home tired and late
but not unexpected. Mrs. Ransom welcomed
him with her characteristic energy.
"ksanis right in, David, and shut that door
There's Til x@fAl Araft Hush; don't make
such a noise!"
"Whats q brewing now9" asked Mr.. Ran
som with interest, as he sat down in his own
big rocker and prepared to take OF his travel.
stained boots.
But the shrek that rent the cir, and which
proceeded from his wifes lips, brought him to
his fcot in double quick time. A faint cry
seemed TO come from the cushion of the rocker
''The cat!" exclaimed Mr.. Ransom. 'sWhy
didn't you tell mo the cat was there? Inigh
about sat on her."
cts tho baby" said his wife, as she took up
a slim racksre whence, the cry issued "David
Ransom, Jr; didn't i mention to you thst
thought Of adopting one? This is the c1iildj
ndthcre il good blood in him, too"
Adopted baby!s e;;::culated Mr.. Ran
som. $50 that's yourlsst craze, isits Lemme
see. In the last ten years you've learned to
pound the biand, i'aint ON chny, work in kero-
scno faraacne,' corrected Mrs. Kansdnl), hsnt-
lnorsd BRASS, make crazy quilts, and now
you've adopted baby. whsn left you was
making collection Of little pitchers. Louise
Gin tone Of s!arm!, are you gathering = COL
No" answered his vito solemnly. 81 am
g0s d G y Gsn d, e.gs,%en Hant to ses
not not be- torment @ mt to e everybody This m ': child IL
Of respectable parentage- Mohawk Dutch and
English on one side, and French and Irish on
the other"
SIS there little 1njun?"
sN9, thors isn't" said his wife Grossly ''You
taay haa # lanf ae,s az so ~'nsto but blood will tells
''Is it oriG of your theories that the new baby
ia to sleep in my rocking chairs" asked her
''Ho is to sleep anySsherc,Y ssia Mrs Ran
som. "Tho idea is absurd that child inust
be laid on pillows aud rocked in crib and the
air kept on &c If 1t was tender plant Little
David is to sleep on the ii6Gr cf the table. or
wherever it is the most convenient to put hii
lie is not TO be molly -codtled to death"
In the middle of tho night Mr.. Ransom was
awakened by fearful screams The infant
had fallen OF tho foot of tho bed
'Wuit till get light" lie said, as he heard
I his n trtt Id 1,oh
T.. Light mo no light" c6mniand6d Mrs HAN
tom; ".hs child will sleep in tho dark, us ms.
trre intended =;
!. u hope hYll give me thst ssmo privilege" !"
said MI. Ransom in sleepy voice. -.
/, In u few days Mrs ltarsoM was as heartily
sic!: uf her new experiment as she had been OF
her old ones, hut at that junctnra Mr.. Rallsom
asserted some of the tirmncss that crisis nj
ways brought out in his character. HIS wife
had legally adopted the baby without consult
ing him. Now llo was determined that she
should continue her experiment, and said
pride rather prompted her to make this
! particular baby coal Of fire to her enemies.
They shoiill see whit her theory really was
worth. But slio had ,dtaadful msglvings. Tho
boy grew, ate and drank like 5tllfr children;
was as bright rs the fondest parents Eoult
els of that ago; cried all night and slept all
day; wanted everything lie saw, slapped his
mother RANSOM pinched his father Ransom,
howlcd, and acted like sin generally. He
was exactly like tho littlo girl in tho nursery
When llo was good, bo Was very, very good;
And when ho was bad he was !!cr,id. =, :.
| ~Blood will tell" said Mrs. Ransom, A!,e,i
driven to tile verge Of despair by tho pranks
of Ransom, Jr.
But glo found much satisfaction in
tho knowledge that she )rad reduced her
ft,a,r to 4,
often declarod-aftcr the fashion of mothers
who bring up other peoples children for them
that babies were stuffed to death SO she
had system Of feeding hers at stated iuter-
vals, atd puinted with pride to tho fact that
David, Jr., did not s,lfref with indigestion.
David, Sr., heard and was silent, and MRS
Ransom went dill wondering what became Of
the snrerfltidns s!ignr, cfcfni and cookies that
escaped from the pantry. ..
About this period tho mendacity of Mr.. Ks1i-
som was something fearful. Whenever there
Sg9, was crash & Of breaking , glass io sppeared
he had collspired with the cat to break overy
available thing in tho house;
Mrs. lIananni was q believer in phrenology;
sho heard that certain VOL known nbrenolo.
gist was to be in their ncighborhood, and she
took her adopted son-now three years old-to
have his head examined
Tho phrenoogst was tall and oadavorous,
looking. lie closed his eyes, smiled and felt
of tho boys head.
"Bcnovolence- largo selfesteem- full
destrnctveness"-the smile faded-'D-s-t-r-
I-c-t.i-v-c;n-e s-s-why, my my dear madam,
He is :" "IIold on! That's the wrong bump"
called out Father Ransom. "Hegot that wlicn
he fell of the roof of tho Summer Kitchen
"Blool will tell, !" said Mrs. Ransom, trium-
phantly, as sho paid IS for q chart of the boys
remarkable head
lo,, hal
nonsense for children to have Group, whoop-
ing g-consh and measles, and brought tho boy
up Oh liomGp pithic principles. All the same
he was dosc0 with herbs and jalap when she
was out of sight, and skinned through some
how on mixture of psthes that would have
killed a less obstinate liver.
Meanwhile Mrs. Ransom's ncighbors had
tilrories of their own about tho small boy.
They declared he was an nrnmtigated nuisance
AS Ee grow older species OF tailless cats de-
vclcp"d or. rather, ,undcvelopcd-intlle the neigh
borllool. When questioned ono day by his
brcyct parents, the small David responded:
81 did it with my little hatchet
''BiGod will tell, y said Pa Ransom, eolcmnly
His temper was collcky. As he was to be
reared as child of nature he was not reproved,
and the consequences were alarming. When
ho snlkod his mother would excuse him on pre-
when he sulked Mr. Bansom would remark:
''rliats tho Scotch in him"
When he kicked and scratched:
''1lcs got his Irish upnow."
Otl:ar nationalities served their turn To
tho natural and inherent depravity of early
boyhood he added all unknown quantity Of
trained morality that was hard to boar One Of
his mothers pet doctrines was that he was to
he q child of nature and tell tho plain,
nnvarnislled truth. When no was years old
he gave practical example of his "raising, az
his father called it He was PLAYING some es-
tllctic play of his mothers devising, and in his
progressive dress a sort of nondescript gar
ment. u cross between apinafore and blouse
Looked like little monkey, when neighbor
called Young Ransom eyed her sharply as
she patte1 him on his curly head.
''Shay!" he asked in q confidential tone.
"whersh your fury"
Fur" echoed the surprised woman, "why,
what do you mean?"
why mamma called you an old cat, and old
cats have fur don'tsh shey!"
AtaEotlicr time Mrs Ransom bad upexp xpected
company. In spite Of her theories and vagar-
ics she was an excellent housckeepor, and on
this occasion was much mortified 10 % caught
without pics. What is home without pie.
She sent David Junior of to tho bakery.
with All order for half-dozen pics, which
were promptly delivered, warmed in the oven,
frosted with sugar and intended to scrve as All
innoccntdiverson in place of the genuine
homemade article. When all wero seated at
table and partakins of the first course, the
ideal child began in loud whisper.