Smyrna times., 1885-01-07
SunbeanS.
Clothes observers-Tailors

being guiltedged. '''- -"'
Is the poet who writes cheerful soroa
q cheer-up-ode-ist? '0'''7 .
a young man may be good on n loaf
YET make bad bread-winner.
A well-turned ankle has often occon-
Pllshed well-turnnl head.
Love is blind, aud often wboo ,bo rirI
IS rich and blind, it is only Il blind.
The new reading is "brido and coach.
man, instead of "hridn and groom"
1t seems absurd to write a bo k in tbis
key. '''''o III l ''r-
The front steps are deserted now. The
season has passed when she stoops 70
Kounder says his wife is the liobt-woit
champion. She always stays up till bo
comes home. ~ ''ii iio
DE perfeckshun o dis worl' is cher
IN danger, says Uncle Silas. "De rine
apple IS do sOones' to rot"
"If yOu love me-" said dear crao
ture, say so; but if you love me and
uon want to say so, squeeze my hand"
A lie travels much faster now than If
ana formerly. The invention of the
speed. ''-0i ''''0"
About the only time man wishes he
We're woman is when he has to give nm
MS seat to a woman in a street car.
Waiter: AN we've got is pork cbops
pigs feet, fried sausages and cold ham"
CO." '''' 'o VII
How pale and quiet he looks" said
!, ,STYmpathlzlng old lady at the funeral
,A-yes' sobbed the widow John
alters was p-pale and q-quiet like.
Il thought yon told me you didn't
use tobacco? ?" 81 don't" "But Won
are putting a cigar now" Yes Int
mats only only a three-conter No to-
baccO in it.
An English soldier being asked if ba
met with much hospitality while he vae
III Ireland, replied that he did he was
IN the hospital nearly all the time he |
was there.
DR.. Burchard asked on a recent Sun-
day why am l not in heaven ?" One |
reason IS because during the past few |
weeks he has been headed in an opposite |
direction. i'>'''''o
Some one says "No thoroughly oc-
cilpled man was ever misarahle d" VVo
don't know about that. A flea mn tbe
trousers leg can keep a man very busy
and very miserable.
DO you believe in cremation 9o
F." Certainly not. Give me yonr raa-
son for not favoring it. We'll we arc
SO often reduced to hashes ut our board
lhg-house, we are tired of it..
Oh, Clara, did you see that Miss Wal
tGCrs was married the other day?" "Was
she deare? | hope the wedding was
4 happy one" "Oh, 1 guess it was.
ohe had satin train three yards long"
At the museum. She: Oh, lool, at
That Indian with his feather held-dress,
he : Yes. fine feathers" She: "W4U
"hy 90 the Indians wear them that
way" He: "Io keep his wigwlm. .
" 1t am de walk over muu dat siIes his
!! .aracter," says Opie Read, author of
PIantatlon Philosophy" No matter
low clean er rooster may be, let him fol-
oW er duck all day an ut night he'll be
llUNltly.
A Southern waiter told a Boston man
It hotel that in Eastern Texas n white
nan had married IL negro woman. ..XVas
le not derided?" asked the Bostonion
lie was, sah Dey rided him ont Of
own on rail. "
MIS-. Dickens said that geniuses were
ard to live with" "Ab. then fbot
lust be the reason that Mrs. Pillyins {
0e7 not live with her husband" sWbv
hat has he genius for?" For stoy.
lg ont all night"
A Chicago clergyman is delivering n i
purse OF five lectures on Woman's
lace III Society. All his five sermons
lmot controvert the fact that If a 1Tor1 ,1l0,,1
lsn { pretty her place in society is one
n a lovely sofa, among the other wall i
overs, every time.
The doctors of a Western town have
repaired list of non-payinc patients y
ld VIII refuse to visit anv family whose =
lme IS on the list. One undertaken
ld two tombstone dealers have adver.
'ed their places for sale.
A French gentleman. who snnnosad
had mastered the English lanp1ope
rs sadly puzzled the other dav when n
lend met him and asked " How do
N dO?' "DO vot?" q mean how
you find yourself ?" "Sair. never
Ses myself. But how do you feei9"
just feel me-" n
Young wife Il am determined IN
'rn at what hour my husband comes
me at nights yet do what I will, I
mot Keep awake, and he is ALWAYS
reful not to make n particle of noise.
there any drug which produces wake
-ness 2 Old wife: "No need 20 buy
ngs. Sprinkle the floor with tacks." NJ
Mrs. Kiff; "Dearie, forgot the eggs
ain, did you?" Mr. Kif: "No eSSs 9ss
town, lOvey." Mrs. Kiff: NY. me-
ats the cause of that ?" Mr.. Kiff:
Don't know, unless it's because the
have all the ROSTERS" NTrs
Il " Oh, my, do rOOsters Law eggs ?"
. Kitf "Naw, but they like to be IN
,und." ~
,he acquaintance of the female mind
n the mysteries of commerce and
lnce IS extensive and paralyzing.
Why, said n well-to-do young wom-
who had just received a drygoods
, " why do they keep on sending me n
)? I know well enough 1 got those vi
lgs last Summer, and what's the use
mey'
fond father presented his four year
boy with a trumpet, with which he
greatly infatuated All day the boy
Ted away delightedly, and at bedtime
III his grandmother told him to put -
trumpet down and say his prayers, II
little fellow said "Oh, no Iii tell safe
what let's do, grandma; you pray you
III keep on blowing