The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-12-20
The Trials and Troubles OF a
London Sight-Seer: ssa +
THE OBJECTS OF INTEREST.
lsr5.- ~ .-irs
Briefly but Graphically Viewed by
Herald COrrespondent--A Guide
Book in HIMSELF. mo 7sfr
LoEDoS, November q. 1885

"Doing London" is a queer expires
sion. It is used by the genius who
deems himself capable of learning all
that is necessary about this metropolis
of the world in four days, as he flies
about; the less seif-conscious person
who has two weeks laid aside for the ac-
complishment of the same task makes
use Of the same words to every person
from whom he is asking information !;
while with the still more modest visitor
who devotes a month to the undertake
ing, it's pet expression. Even the
resident of this city makes use of it,
and well he may, for, there is always
something to do" and thisI dong" is
necessarily a part of the London gen.
tleman's current education. 1t depends
on the kind of sightseeing a man does,
as to the length of time required to
take in this huge city. For the average
person one day is as good as a month,
since when he has gone, he is able to
ell you among other. experiences that
he has been to London ana it's an
"awaee" big place to be "shuah,' But
to one who lis Adesirous ofigaining ex-
tended knowledge a lifetime seems in
sufficient to enable him thoroughly to
inspect and obtain a rational under
standing of the many great things that
are to be seen in London. After the
first days outing heis thoroughly dis
couraged- (supposinghe has shut week
or ten days athis disposal) and he gapes
about him like a housewife during the
cleaning season when she has so many
things to do that she is, at a loss where.
to begin first. The most seryiceable
guide book is obtained and toathis the
heart-sick pilgrim turns for such COM
fort and consolation as only guide
book can give. Here he learns that it
is absolutely impossible for the most en-
ergetic tourist to obtain even superb
cial acquaintance with London, its at
fractions and envirOns, in less than a
month; and here he is with nine DAYS
and one of them Sunday, in which he is
to do a more thorough work than the
all-consoling guide book says can be
done in thirty. In sheer desperation he
flies out, seizes a passing bus, and rushes
pell nell Zone might say Pail Mall here)
TO Westminster. He goes through it
like fellow who fears he will lose his
train, or like ''Japheth in search of his
Father" Then st. Paul's; then through
the National Museum, where he sees a
number of ancient daubs on Scriptural
topics which antiquity and the subject
treated are supposed to render sacred,
but which are, for practical modern
purposes, neither useful norinteresting.
Then he flies to the British Museum
and takes a run through the College of
Surgeons, If 1t happens to be open that
day. he goes to the Minaries where he
sees the outside of that beastly looking
mass of buildings. (but more interest
ing than all else in London besides, in
an historical sense) the famous Tower
of London. After this be bolts off to
he South Kensington Museum away at
the other end of the town. riding on
the outside of bus the whole way that
he may get view of the streets, enjoy
ing himself in his temporary and dearly
bought rest, Notwithstanding the fact
thatit is raining like wrath all the while
Reaching South Kensington Museum
he is sure to find it one of the days on
which he has to pay; goes inside and
discovers that the place closes at
O'Clock and he did not get in until after
s. Maddened by the knowledge
that 1t is impossible for him to come
again he rushes through like bull in a
china shop, unable to see third of the
Departments or rememb ering scarcely
anything that comes within the range
OF his swiftly-surveying optics; he
travels in the Underground five miles to
get his lunch and then goes TO a pit seat
IN one OF the West End Theatres; sue
ceedS in manning himself to get in and
kinks his neck through the whole per-
Torrance in order to see what is going
on, while the chattering of hah-drunk-
en- butcher near and some noisy friends
entertain him with such lively stories as
the weight of bulls and the amountot
trade done such as renders il imposs:-
bic for him to keep his attention on the
piece and places it beyond the bounds
of probability for him to keep track of
the dialogue of the play. For this lux
ury he pays fifty, cents. Then. come the
Geological Gardens. They are done on
hop-skiF-jump, the plan being to spend
the afternoon and evening at the Inven-
tons Exhibition. Four or five hours
dI6 dllOMCQ lOI bnlS a. Willie AOAd VI i've
weeks might be consumed. Concerts
are going on at all hours in different
parts of the Exhibition; the grounds
must be seen and yet ii is pouring with
rain; and when the hour for illumina-
ton arrives-6 pm. to the seconds
which the grounds are instantly lighted
and made gorgeous and like fairyland
by the ,many colored electrical lamps,
swinging IN the trees, covering the build
ings, laying in the flower beds, half
buried in the grass, or floating in the
ponds at this supreme movement, when
the fountain is Illuminated and turned
into every color and tint under heaven
this sight, to see, which is worth halt
of all, to the lover of the fantastic and
phenomenal--aJ this supreme moment
| he is probably in the Chinese depart
nent looking at his watch to see how
long it will be before the instantaneous
illumination which is already past, IS to
take place. He doesn't leave until
driven out at 10 p. inland inly vows he Il
90 again. But he breaks that vow. II ne
guide book has long, since been thrown
aside as totally inadequate for the ex-
listing emergency; and by that peculiar
w fortuitous confederation of circnm
stances which the fates are forever
spinning for one who is in haste, ne !.