Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-06-19
Reflections on clearinghouse.


Editor Vi,adicator:
Next to mothers-in-law, boarding houses
are the best abused items in the catalogue OF
human woes. Like mothers-in-law. too, they
are an appanage of civilization without which
society could not well get along; and all the
abuse in the world appears not to help mat
tiers in the least, but rather to make them
generally worse and less endurable.
But there are some exceptions to so general
rule there are some-a very few-r1ch
mothers-in-law that are we'll enough in their
way, and some boarding houses with mltlga-
ting circumstances. 1t is agreed on all hands,
however, that the sua,anaatna NAHUM of mascu-
line existence is boarding house kept by
ones mother in law Imagination can stand
i no further stretch than that. There is your
| embryo lunatic asylum for somebody!
| What are the mitigating circumstances ?"
Well, there is no place like boarding house
to study some of the ologies of the time.
You are generally brought into contact with
| call sorts' if you stay long at one place. The
varieties of table manners constitute in them
selves study for the observant.
The first thing we observe is that the board
ers are nearly always late for breakfast, and
impatiently hungry at dinner time. The later
they are at breakfast, the sooner they want
| their dinner-a most unreasonable way OF
making up for lost time. 1t is not chad man
ners' not to be ''ready for breakfast" at a
boarding house-at least the boarders seem to
think SO, and their tempers are usually hot in
the ratio that their breakfast is cold. Right
here will narrate authentic story of Gen
Lee, which, no doubt all landladies and
heads of families will be thankful for. The
boarders may put it in their pipes and smoke
it, and may it do them good!
In the winter of 1856 General Lee had hif
|
ladies wished to visit his family, part O.
which was staying with him temporarily. Thu
| General himself, undertook to secure boar(
| for the visitors, and when it was agreed thai
, they would be provided for, with that delicate
consideration which always characterized him
he deprecated the additional trouble .theil
coming would occasion poor Mrs. H. ''Llttlt
, trouble" said the host, who somewhat o
cynic and knew the ways of the world; ''llt
= tie trouble, if they will only get ready TO
breakfast" 'Ah," replied the General il
some surprise, they will be sure to do that
sir; they have been nell raised!''
How many of us, oh fellow boarders, put GU
rearing to the test, if being ''ready for break
FAST be indeed the crucible! Are we the rab
} headed?
am not going into the bill of fare line. A
one place you will have ''style" duly set GU
! in courses; in another, substance, with coars
| Accomplishments Sometimes, but not too OF
i | ten, style and substance will go hand in han
like old acquaintance and welcome all tn
good company around the board. Rarely, bot
are lacking, and then patience must sit on he
t chair for monument and dry her tears wit
a napkin, if any, as Senator Edmunds woul
say. If not, remember Justice Bradley an
his 'taliunde,'' which means go elsewhere an
get your dinner.
I: Another mitigation is "Boss Day" All OF
t thodox boarding houses have their boss days
o more or less. 1t is a festival, hebdomadal
semi OR tri-weekly, and in very rare instances
like the New York Herald, every day in tn
3 year. It takes the flavor out of the "boss,
T though, to have it every day, for when all tn
days are ''bosses'' which shall be chief
Three times week is about the current thin
to keep the boarders on the tenter hooks Q
anticipation and anxiety. What will it be
: black cake or plum pudding? cream @
: strawberry shortcake? Oh me, the delightful
SUSPENSE! 1t allays, for some brief while, tn
agony of who shall be postmaster under tn
/ new Administration, and the guilt or limo
\ | cence of Cluverius is left to the jury and til
:. lawyers. We are all school children again
and with boys appetites on "Boss Day.
Long may it wave!
Let us rest awhile and enjoy it.
| STANTON, VA, June, 1885.