Morning journal and courier., 1885-09-26
B RAVE E.

The advertiser, no matter how small his favors, is like the brave general. He con-
 siders his place to be at the head of the col umn.-Boston Transcript.
 There are thirty-two glue factories in this country, and yet some people persist in nor tifying themselves by allowing their wigs to drop off.-Burlington Free Press.
 Lightning wrenched comet from the hand of an amateur performer the other day at Lancaster, Penn. Yet there are people
 who don't like lightning. Chicago News.
 s'Can see the Mayorg'' inquired a member
 of the city council of the formers servant.
 'sNot at present: he's at dinner" "But my
 business is very important" ssI cannot help
 it, sir; his honor is at steak. Chicago Sun.
 Sweet nuisance'-No; the scene of 'sThe
 Mikado'' is not laid in Ireland. It isn't pro
 nounced that way, anyhow See herel Amt
 you the girl that asked if ragout was the
 French for putting on your best clothesT'-
 Boston Post
 Mrs. Jones-''They tell me that that Smith fellow is paying his addresses to the widow
 Robinson" Mrs. Brown-''I don't believe &
 word of it, Mis- Jones. Paying addresses.
 The fellow never paid anything in his life. e."-
 Boston Transcript. A Chicago man makes fun of St. Louis be- cause the girls in that town have to wear
 base ball catchers' masks to keep the men from kissing them. It is needless to remark here that nature has furnished ample protec- tion to Chicago girls.-Cincinnati Merchant Traveller.
 "I don't see why pennies were invented, :" said New York banker who had received a few in change. ''Oh, that's easily accounted for,'' remarked a friend from an adjacent city. Pennies were invented to enable New York millionaires to contribute toward the erection of public monuments '-Boston Globe.
 Landlady at the summer boarding house twill you carve the piece de resistance, MT. Bartholomew2'' MT. Bartholomew-''Cer- tainly. What is its'' Landlady-"It's a very nice chicken" MT. Bartholomew strug- gled with the very venerable fowl, and turn ing to the landlady, asked: "May I help YOU to piece of the resistance?'-Boston Post.
 A dry goods advertisement says: stEvery- body knows that Faille Franchise is crowding hard upon gros grain silk" We beg leave to differ with the statement. There are no doubt dozen persons right here in this town who are not aware that such momen- tous occurrence was eventuating town Herald.
 Father-"You are not sending George any more money, I hope. At the rate he is
 spending money his education will cost him more than it will be worth. He resorts to
 all sorts of excuses to get money" Mother "But this money is for an actual necessity. He writes me that he is just beginning to study German and must have a German stu
 dent lamp right away. ."-New York Times. Useful Timepiece-Si Jackson, from the Del Valle settlement. came to Austin not long since, and his first call was on watch
 maker "Dis heah watch has gotten sumfn' de matter wid hit" The matchmaker exam ined it carefully and asked how long since it
 had been running. "Hit hain't been run ming for noah den a yeah" ssWhy didn't you bring it soonera" stBekase I couldn' t get along widout it. t."-Texas Siftings.