Smyrna times., 1885-06-17
Here and Elsewhere.

L eiCHeS are regarded safe Wnen tleV
put on their furze.
SiliciOus bricks are made now that
will float in water.
When a Republican stays in Office
now he is very apt to be revised.
Icebergs continue to make de-
cided run on the banks of Newfound-
land.
Hindsight and foresight men must
have, but women rely chiefly on side
sight.
There is only one comfort about dis
appointments, they are always dupli-
Gated.
Many of the cowboys on the Western
plains possess an Eastern college edu-
cation.
Prayer at night becomes a tnhe more
feryent' if it happens you get stuck
during the day
During the school teachers vacation
parents will have to become offensive
parting tanners.
In consequence of the ravages of the
lOcusts corn will be admitted free of
duty into Mexico.
Mrs. Partington says that so many
Anti's discriminating is the reason
why sugar is going up.
The lightning, it appears, has an es-
peclal fondness for the cap stone Of the
Washington Monument.
Up in Manitoba Big Bear replied in
the Indian tongue, 1--WE intend to clean
you Out!" to a flag of truce.
Among all the new varieties of
strawberries the " Mixing Free ap-
pears to be the most unpopular.
Various States are about enacting
laws to limit the charge for telephone
service at three dollars month
Cold, ice-cold drinks have much to
do with kidney complaints that are
commonly called Bright's disease"
The luxuries of poverty are exSen-
sive; 1t takes more matches to light
the poor mans pipe than the rich mans
cigar.
School teachers celebrate the .4th of
July in their usually quiet way, by fir.
ing of their little charges about the
first of the month.
Professor MeirOwitz, the eminent
Hebrew scholar, says that the Old Tes-
lament revision is crowded with inac-
urate translatiOns.
The New York Sun saws if a paper is
merely a cOngenital hebetudinOid a
little opposition will confirm into a
true or active hebetudinosity.
At the close of the New Orleans Ex-
position the leader of u Mexican band
asked If painting the town red hot "
was new " Yankee Doodle"
Miss Della Parnell's friends in New
York raised S400 Judgment about to be
executed on the household effects at
lronsides," BOrdentOwn, n. J.
A Rhode Island postmaster, writing to
be retained, said that the only time he
was guilty of offensive partizanship
was when he licked the postage STAMPS.
The barrelswinging from the rocks in
the straits of Magellan, which has for
years served rs a pOstOiIice for East or
West-bound ships will not be removed.
The Secretary of the Treasury is
considering departure from the pres
ent mode of disinfecting imported rags,
to that OF reducing them to pulp ut
their shipping point
Scout Flanner, of the Salvation
Army, cited an instance while address
ing a crowd here, Of two interesting
girl twins he once knew, one eight and
the other nine years old.
Premier Gladstone wrung his hands
when Parliament voted him down, not
because of his own defeat, but because
the insults of KhartOum and Penideh /
gave way to the increase Of shilling
tax on whiskey.
At the late examination of the Cen /
tenary Biblical Institute at Baltimore.
the cOlOred students acquitted them /
selves creditably, many of them |
speaking Latin and Greek and discard
ing the use of English.
The earthquake shocks at Serinagur.
Vale of Cashmere, have assumed fright
ful proportions. Thousands of bushels
of grain in storage have been swallowed
up by the chasms constantly opening.
+
stricken people
Secretary Whitney, while admitting
that naval bands can supplement their
government paw with private service.
denies them the right to rest their
claims to underbid private individuals.
made possible by that allowance they
must rest their hire upon merit.
Artists who think they know nearly
all pertaining to mature on canvass
are tax en- aback on entering the ad-
Vanced drawing schools of England, to
copy from the old masters, to find that
they are set to drawing a straight line
between two dots, placed an inch apart,
for months.
The FtOtsdm and Jetsam of the sea is
holding in allegiance a suit in Admi-
rallty Fhe owners Of the schooner
Twenty One Friends cannot recover
damages for the loss of the vessel last
March by collision off the JERSEY
coast because she has been frequently
seen drifting at sea since then.
In the deep levels of Lord Durham's
mines, in England, some of the cham
bers lead towards the North Sea. The
other day while 2G0 men were at work
IN the mine Philadelphia, boy with
dripping garments leaped out from one
OF the ascending cages shouting, The
sea is pouring in and drowning every
body"
A COptic merchant who witnessed
the capture of Khartoum, has arrived
At Cairo, Egypt. He states that the
Mahd- demanded the head of Gordon
as = u trophy, but instead the head of the
austrian consul was given in place
heh Sne mistake was discovered no
trace OF Gordon could be found and n
Is possible he may have escaped ~ tbc
south and is yet alive. " WY
The U. S. Fish Commission steamer
:htOatrosss is about to make an Interest
lng cruise. First she will 90 siwtv
miles miles northeast Of the capes of M tie
1Lntsapeake 1nst s.pIS. in search Of a supposed
5ost sC species Of fish. Next she will steer
Ior the Banks Of Newfoundland onIb,,
means of 100 pound torDedoes ottaoho21 !