The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1885-08-19

would send him petrified mugwump his
collection of curiosities would be complete.
Troy Telegram
Or the twenty-five pall-bearers at Abra-
ham Lncolns funeral, only seven are alive.
The seven are General Simon Cameron
Elihu Il. Washburne, Colonel H. g. Worth
ington, the Rev. Mr.. Green Clay Smith,
Alexander b. Coffroth, Henry l.. Dawes
and John CONFESS.
MY little boy" said a gentleman, you
ought not to eat those green apples. They
are not good for little boys" "They hain't,
eh?'' the boy replied, with his mouth full.
" Guess you don't know much about 'em,
mister Three of these apples II keep me
out Of school for a week. Mem York Times.
THE undertaker's bill for Grants funeral
will not be less than $4,000. Five hundred
carriages were at the funeral. These were
engaged for the day, and this part of the
bill will be 5000. The black horses that
were attached to the funeral car were all
carefully selected. There were twenty-four
OF these, and their draping cost $3.50.
In the county of Somerset, England, there
is village called Hatch. The clergyman
in an adjoining parish was named Duck
one Sunday morning, the congregation at
the latter place being assembled, the curate
did not appear. The clerk rose and said:
| hereby give notice that there will be no
service to-day, as Mr.. Duck has gone to
Hatch"
THE clergyman who seemed to be enjoy
ing his religion most of any the writer has
seen this summer, says Lewiston Journal
correspondent, stood on a wharf in Booth
bay Harbor in his shirt-seeves and old hat,
led the " Rah-rah-rahs," as the steamer left
the landing, and yelled Blow your old
whistle to the captain, in high glee-and
the captain blew.
SEDGwIcK, the great corn county of Kan
sas has one hundred fifty thousand acres of
that product this season, which is matured
beyond any ordinary mishap, and careful
estimates put the total yield at something like
nine millions of bushels, or more than was
ever returned by any county in the history
of the nation, and more than the annual
product of many states.
AND now comes the Rev. w. r. Coovert
of Pittsburg and laws claim to the part of
Riverside Park in New York upon which
General Grants tomb is built, together with
sundry other tracts of real estate on Man
haitian Island worth about $500 100000. 1t
| is the old Story-an ancient grant of land, a
ninety-nine year lease, the expiration of the
! lease, and the appearance OF some hundred
or so of alleged heirs to property grown
enormously valuable.
AN exchange says: "The Spanish troops
occupying the cholera-stricken city of Sara
gosa have been supplied with guitars to
enable them to keep up their spirits. The
soldiers are trying the effects of guitar
/
fear that the disease may catch them nap
ping, they keep up the alleged music day and
night. 1t is reported that the inhabitants
have fled the city, but whether in dread of
the cholera or to get away from the music
! is not stated"
The way smuggling is carried on in
Canada is indicated by an advertisement in
several Dominion papers Offering for sale a
farm in the Province of Quebec near the
American border, accompanied by this state
ment The stand is well-known to the
Americans, and all kinds Of goods-such as
| liquor, butter, horses, grain, hay etc.-tind
an easy channel into the states at all times.
! A good active business man can clear his
500 day, or night, besides making, on an
average, $4,000 year of net profits"
A YOUNG and guileless turkey was walk.
ing along in the field one day, in search OF
something to stay his stomach when luck
brought him fine, large grasshopper. He
was about to swallow the insect, when the
hopper exclaimed: Hold on a moment
my friend! What's the use of picking up a
small insect like me when there are plenty
of hares in the weeds just ahead?' That's
so, and how foolish / was" answered
the turkey, as he let the hopper 60 and sci
out to find hares. AT the end of half an
hour he leaned up against barbed wire
fence, kicked himself fourteen successive
times, and remarked " In the first place,
couldn't catch hare; and in the second,
couldn't have eaten one if | had" Moral
The mechanic who runs after politics will
go hungry half his time.-DetrOH Free Press