davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14
PUNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

Speaking of names, one of the
characters" of Providence, R., ]. Is an
aged negro of diminutiwe stature, who
is happy in the possession of the name of
Glorious Valorious George Washington
Peck Hamilton Stout.--M. z. Tribune.
Hugo Arnot one day when painting
with asthma was almost deafened by
the noise Of a brawling fellow who was
selling oysters below his window. 'sThe
extravaganza rascal, said Hugo, ''he has
wasted as much breath as would have
served me for month. ~ "a
Astronomers tell us in their own
simple, ineligible way that the grad
ual lengthening of the days Is due to the
''obliquity of the ecliptic to the terres-'
trial horizon This ought to set at
rest the foolish idea that the days are
longer because the sun rises earlier and
sets later. Chicago Tribune.
Little girl on visit to ST. Louis
80, mamma, l think this must be
heaven" '.Do you, petp Why. Don't
you see, mamma, all the ladies and gen
tlemen have wings, but they are on the
sides of their heads instead of on their
backs.'' Hush, darling. Those are
not wings"
You say, Mr.. Simpkins, you want to
marryp" observed Miss De Silva. "Yaas,
want to find the richest and prettiest
woman in the world, who viii marry
me for love. Can you tell me where to
find her? Indeed, can't" replied
the young lady. my acquaintance
with insane asylums is very slight. -
Drake'S Travellers Magazine.
A young lady at home from board
ing-school for the holidays was asked Il
she would have roast beef, when she re-
piled: mo, / thank you; astronomical
safety admonishes me that I have ar
rived at the ultimate stage Of degluition
consistent with dietetic integrity The
young lady never was asked if sht
would have anything over again
Chicago Inter Ocean.
DO you eat hash with fork2'
asked the landlady of her new boarder
'No, ma'am,n he responded, kindly
"Ah, you eat it with knife, them" will
some evidence of disapproval. mo
ma am" he repeated, more timidlv
| than before. Indeed. Pray, may
ask how you do eat ftp" ayes, ma'am
''How?" with tear and trembling
ma'am." He left the same day.-MeT
chant IrdUeter.
Many men of many minds:
The man who writes, and writes in verst
Is seldom worth tinker's curse.
The man who plays the violin,
| Is always laZier than sin.
The man who thinks he knows It all,
Displays mighty sight of gan.
| The man who thinks himself the best,
Is he whom we should all detest.
But he who pays the printer Is
The noblest Roman In the "biz."
Big Springs tTe1) PGntGorap&
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14

''Nhen John n I got there ID been
dead only few minutes, N | tell you,
child. it was a sad sight to see her
new black silk, her arms round that
dead man n moanin' N shudderin'
over him n beggin' him to speak to
her.
:" He isn't deadr she says to me as 1
come in. He has only tainted. o,
Jane! do something for him. Get hot
water, n you II find camphere in the
pantry on the lowest shelf to the right
But saw that hot water n cam
phere wouldn't be no use, N told her
so as gentle as l could n begged her to
come away. She wouldn't listen to me
at first. but after the doctor had come,
n he'd told her it was all over, n poor
,Luther'd died from apoplexy of the
stomach, she let me take her to her own
room.
''As we was crossin' the hall she heard
the dress rustic, N she stopped short
n looked at me pitiful.
He never saw me in it, after all,
n she broke down and cried as if heI
heart would break.
CATER poor Luther was buried m
there was stone put up over him m
his debts was all paid, there WASH /
nothin' left for Annie, N she was GLAD
to take place in the mills. We wanted
her to come here, but she was too proud
to eat bread she hadn't earned, she said.
About week ago was out with Miss
Sniper gettin' subscriptions for the
church carpet, n we met Annie on the
street. Miss Sniper, she amt over-sen-
sitive herself n she don't give no one
else credit for being so, m she up m
asks Annie if she didn't ever wish she'd
said yes stead of mo- to young Tom
Layton.
" Never, says Annie Had I my
life to begin again [ would not alter it
as far as Tom Layton is concerned
"'But it's pretty hard to have to work
for him, isn't it?' asked Miss Sniper, n
felt it in my heart to hate her for ask
ing such a thing.
''But Annie only smiled. I consider
myself fortunate to be able to earn such
good wages she says, n then she
walked away smilin' still
Il was glad Miss Sniper didn't know
about that black silk dress. If she'd
said anything about that, Annie would
"a broke down. She's got it packed
away at the bottom of her trunk, poor
soul, m she never speaks about it. .
Florence B. HattoWeU, in DenoreSt' $
MonthEV.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14
Something Better.

She stood on the front steps gazing
at the eclipse through bit of smoked
glass, and the old fellow stopped his
team at the curbstone and stood up in
his wagon and gazed all around in
search of the attraction. Discerning
nothing unusual he called out:
what is it, marm-what' the riot?"
''The eclipse" she answered.
"Whar is itp''
''On the sun"
Yes, does seem a leetle dim up
thar" he said, after long squint,
'but, Lor' -a-massy, it's nuthin' fur
grown folks to waste their time over!
If you want to see sunthin better
sunthin' real excitin' come out hum
with me. I've got a five-legged calf,
a two-headed chicken and an oak tree
as was struck by lightnin', and you kin
see 'em all without glass an have q
billed dinner on top of EN- for nuthin'.
'Clipse of the sun, ehi Well, now,
how little it does take to tip some folks
off their balancep'- Detroit Free Press.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14
4 Pin Piano.

Mr.. E. NJ. Taber, the librettist of
''Desiree," was a clerk in the Pension
Office, and his desk was Immediately
next to the wainscoting of the hall.
After he left his successor made dis
covery. Ranged along the wooden
wainscoting was row of pins, the low
est deeply imbedded in the wood, the
highest simply far enough indented to
keep it from falling out. There was
such an evident purpose in this row of
pins that the attention of the chief of
the division was called to it. Running
bis finger-nail along the row, he found
that each pin represented natural note
or semi-tone. 1t took but a minute
more to play tune upon this pin piano,
and, until the novelty wore of, Mr..
Taber's ingenious arrangement of pins
was source of amusement to his form
er fellew-elerks.- - Washington Post
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14
HOW EASILY THINGS GO WRONG.

"Alas! how easily things go wrong;"
A sigh too much or Il kiss too long.
And fathers patience is quite worn out:
There's ahurried step and a wrathful shout,
And the dream of youthful pair is DER.
A youth escapes through the open door,
With terror imprinted upon his face,
With hat in hand and a dog in chase.
The dog to the flying youth draws nigh;
There's a savage growl ana piercing cry.
"Alas! how easily things gowrong;"
Why did the lover stay so long?
A painting youth at his mothers door
Is vowing he'll go out to court no more:
dog is returning with visage grim,
Dragging an ulster's tails with him.
"Alas! how easily things go wrong"
When lover foolishlY tarries too long;
;"And yet how easily things go right
When he leaves at q decent time of night
He's wise who this in his memory logs;
Fathers are fathers, and dogs are dogs.
Boston Courier.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14
A Partisan Suicide.

A dramatic scene was enacted re-
Gently in the Rue Pierre Charron. A
man of lean countenance, worn, hag-
gard, unkempt, and thinly clothed,
stood at the corner of the street, a prey
to the deepest distress. Addressing the
passers.by, he declared that he was
ruined, and that his children had not
touched food for days. Suddenly he
drew a revolver from his pocket, turned
it toward his breast, and fired. He was
raised and carried to the entrance of a
house, and upon his coat being opened
his shirt was found to be deeply dyed
with blood. A warm-hearted member
of the crowd which had assembled I'M
dertook to make collection for the
wounded mans family, and was pro-
ceeding to pass round the hat when the
police came to transport the suicide to
the hospital. Hereupon the suicide dis
appeared with the revolver and the
warm-hearted man with the collection,
making, it is said, until lost to sight,
the best short distance time ever known
in western Paris. Paris Cor. N. Y.
EUening Post.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14

An improved 1ead-headed nail for
ase in putting on corrugated iron roofs
has made its appearance in the market.
The shank of the nail is round and suf-
ficiently sharp at the point to enter the
wood readily, and may be driven home
in the usual way. The head fiat
tens under the blows of the hammer.
or punch may be used, which will give
it conical head. The lead of the head
comes in contact with the sheet iron in
such way as to lessen the chance of
leaking. = Chicago journal.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14

Nearly one hundred chests of leaves
colored with soapstone and Prussian
blue to resemble tea were confiscated
recently in New York.-N Y Sun.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14

The Episcopal Bishop of Missis-
sippi, DR.. William Mercer Green, is in
his eighty-eighth year. yet on recent
visitation he preached nineteen times,
baptized eight and confirmed thirty
three persons.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14

Mrs. Gadabout- We'll, they say
woman is a conundrum, anyway Mr..
G.-"You are Just about the easiest CO.
nundrum | ever did see." 81 am?
Why?" II never come home without
finding you out. n-PhiIadeiphi@ Gail.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14

--"Pa, does the sausage come ont of
its hole on Candlemas day and look
around for its shadow so as to make an
early spring. Ma says it does What
are you talking about?' said the papa
to the little boy. at is the ground hog
that comes out of its hole, not the
sausage" "Well, amt sausage ground
hogP" and the little one went off on his
roller skates as though shot out Of a
gun, leaving the old man to worry over
the incipient punster in an otherwise
respectable family. Sun.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14

Grating is often done too early;
wait until the swelling of the buds.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-05-14

-'I can't furnish you with brains,
madam" he exclaimed. II don't see
why you can't, )" she replied. "You don't
seem to have any use for them your
self. IN Y Graphic.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
Those ccntrai American Revelations.

San FriIcIsco Chronicle "Unlert mes 81
met a gentleman from Guatemala the
Other day.
"lou must have lively time down
there with ali those revolutions, /" said.
-Ih. Guatemala is quiet COMPARE
tiye'y II on want revolutions Monte.
v.dco Is the pace, They used 10 have a
revolution there every other day. re.
member an Inglish couple. friends If
mine. were one day in hotograph her 5
establishment The camera was set and
iiAed. the OF orator was taking last look
under tho 6lack cloth. whcn there
was n sudden noise like the dischar G
OF mus,.etry, lie threw away the cloth
and at once proceeded u close the shutters
a1d barriclde the place My friends
rushed out aud as they made for their
hotel e erybody along the street was
barriag up his house and fasten.
ing the shutters The hotel was
ali closed up when they reached
Il. They went TO their rooms and pa
tiently awaited the expected carnage. An
hour passed. but no noise was heard.
Finally the husband stole out and found
everybody in huge state Of hilarity II
seems that somebody had unoaded a cart
oil Cobble stones on the plaza. and every.
body had taken il Tor the customary open.
ing Of revolution.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
RsnWAY TRav-L IN INDIA.
B"w They Manage Things on the Madras
Railway Caste LaysIcd.


ID IGcobus in Ca-izliIn UnIor1
The Mndra, railway, one Of The prinri-
pal roads in md A. has nearly % miles
of Inc IA is wei buiit with good stI
Toes ~ along the line /, Is u broad
gage m way aud is subsidized iy he
An-r.!Ud an Enserumrnu. 50 ~ In e
c1ntr CT ~ q .or military IuTpo rS
The car, are GGill much the SHAT Ot
American FIRE ght cars only not ute
81 long They have no platforms at
the e ds, lut are coupled together
ike an american freight tAln.
Zach car Is III ided into compartments,
entered nj tie I'D" of tue car and reach.
ing across. The seats face one another,
and each sin gle compartment hollis twelve
persons when crowded full, Unci,a,f Of
them riding backward.
The train is made up Of thre kinds Of
passenger carriages, beside eiLh' and
baggage cars Inc hrsIc,a.s passenger
carr ages tuuuIh uf the shape desert ed
HDO,c and with doors aud wi duwS in
the sides only, are better built than the
Others aud are all arranged 50 rs To tura
into sic 'piug-gaTs ~ night THrl are cush
iunul with leather erred cushions, but
do not usually have spring seats
the second G. ass ,arrla-c, nave no
cushions sim IN b Url seas. shclvcs
are maize 10 raise up, ike lDe shtlNeS OF "A
panty. three Uu each size, une above
another So that six aSsengcrs eau lie
down com'oria ly, If they have brought
nlUug their own mattresses and pillows,
IN go b compartment, II tucrc are more
than siN in one cOunplr mcnt, some must
sit az. the third c,ass garages are,
many OF them, all ia one compartment
with fixed wOU9cn benches, and W "a no
glass Windows AT the sides simply rough
\ enetians To side up and down nOthin Z
TO keep out dust and no dpub q root
/ The first and second class carriages have
double ro1ls and Doth g,nss and cngtun
windows to project pas scngers from sun.
stroke on the Quincy.
The old saying on the continent uSrl
/ to he that "olly lords, Amrcocars and
I fools ira.el frsi-clas, Here tur ht-ser
English oil ceJs are obliged 10 Tsi hTst.
class 10 keep Up their aigu.t 4 few
wealthy naive labUUs nl-O 70 that way
/ 10 "cut swell The majority D.
foreigners. however. aud rUrasiaus half
4 castles. - in the more democratic syCOad
/ Ga S, aud also fair number Of well To
do natives but they usually prefer Ia
take e. ara'e compartment from lhC
! Europeans. the multitude. consisDing OF
the poorer Eurasiuns, and OF Erahmins,
udas anl tariahs, priests aud people
! artisans traders farmers. coolies, crowd
into the heaper and more popular third
class carriages Being thu, huddCL
together is great leveler of old cast,
! pre- udices. and the railway thus become,
something oil an educator of the people
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
m thIrg Going Wrong.

American lad es don't look up TO Paris
with the old respect They feel instinct
lively that something Is gong wrong 81
the head Of the fashion world. The truth
4 that there is no longer any center here,
no one person who gives the tone TO dress
as did Iugeuie under the empire. VI
course. as an American prefer to find
France under arepublic rather than under
3 monarchy of any kind. but that Paris ID
gradually ceasing 10 he the pope Of the
millines and dressmakers Of tue civil.
tied world is unquestionab " true, and ID
due 70 tho fact that . president on rather
presidents wife. has pushed from the
throne The queen and the empress
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
Cookery shows.
iChicago Journal /

In ! ecember next cookery and food
exhibition will be opened in the loyal
aquarium. Westminster. London, under
the management of Eertram ~ hoberts,
the celebrated English firm of caterers
Another cookery show is TO open in
zurich. Oct 10, and for both extens We
preparations are in progress, These eX-
.hibiions will, no doubt, instruciively aud
pleasantly eiucidate the twin arts Of
cookery and astronomy, probably better
appreciaiedln swift erland than anywhere
e.sa
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
Yield NianhaI MoItke.

lied Marshal Moltke, who spends his
vacation at his country seat, Creisau. de.
votes his time there entirely TO agricul.
ture lie takes especial pride in his mag.
niGcent park. the beauties Of which he is
fond OF pointing out to visitors lie
walks regularly every day 10 the Kapel-
lenberg. a neighboring hill, where his
wife and sister are buried. aud where he,
too. is to ind his last resting pla e.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
Eact. Abnnt the Llama
I.inciUuG;i EnquTsF. /


The pair OF llamas, or South American
sheep are very gentle, and at once went
to eating grass. In south America they
are used AS beasts of burden, being sure
footed, and packing easily 100 pounds IT
silver over the mountains. following each
other in long trains. 1t is a queer fact that
these animals when angered have no mode
of punish NJ their tormcntors or Of self
deienss except blowing their cud. halt.
chewed. into the offenders face Show.
men LAY that # this touches person 5
face "A red spot comes, but this yarn will
do TO tel SailOrs do not believe it,
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31

lMIledwvilIe ,GlJ ChronIcl..I

II u not an uncommon thing TO see
negro baby carriages fastened 10 the fence
inolosing tho field where the mother is
picking cotton Tbs Is decided im.
proyement on the common plan Of fasten.
ing up the baby 10 the house, and finding
house and baby burned up when the
mother returns Nf
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
Equally En,csoios.
Inter Ocean.

The oxldlzation Of sewage Is one Of the
latest schemes for insuring public health.
The impulsive public. however, has been
led 70 believe that the galyadiraiiru Of The
sanitary authorities might prove equally
eihcaciOua ri 49, r. =
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
M.r na.. P,rpsssaI ,IlfIps.

Mr. Strother C"Ports Crayon allud.
Ing 20 the Mexican climate, y declares con
ariore III IL the perpetual spring OF the
ps,eta lie thinks that many Americans
dufIng the coming century viii migrate
thlther 10 pass the days of frost N 2.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
Good sumor,d J..

sAll life is joke 70 the Japanese.
says Lieut. Wycoff, OF. the hyd5ographic
bdreau. who lived Ia Japan Tor i've years.
sDuring all that time never saw any one
angry. hardly believe that they could
lose their lsmpers II they should Try.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31

The RamOer'l
-Did you hear about the burglar who
was arrested this morning.
mo What fori"
sFor breaking into song.
ais that so:"
YES. He'd got through two bars,
when some one biz him with stave
Funeral private.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31

Es,elllne I'd. T.. Bell There IL no place
like your cyclone cellar for true repent
anCa HIhf rflH' Tfll
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31

, A fun table .sEyice q pure gold make
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
Where Boone Killed a Bear.
Atlantic Mouthly'l

About six miles from MON. Tenn. Is
a beech grove OF historical interest, worth
a visit if VIC could na spared the time
In ii is the large beech six and half feet
around six feet from the ground, on
which Daniel Boone shot bear when he
was rover in this region. lie himself
cut an inscription ON the tree recording
his prowess, and Il is still distinctly legi
BILE:
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1885-10-31
u. BOONE GILT 4 BAR On THIS TREE,
l1C0

This tree is pla OF pilgrimage, and
names of people from all parts of the
cOuGtry are cut on II, until there is
scarcely room for any more records Of
suh devotion. The grove is ancient
looking, the trees are gnarled and moss
grown. Hundreds Of people go there
and the trees are carved all over with
their immortal names
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-02-26
The Sun.rinS> of Gen. shields.


Would Won ike 10 Sc the mate n the bal
rlica passed through the general in the
Mexican var Mr. Shields asked In re-
sI,ou>c 10 IN affirmative she brought out a
grape shot. not Ike the inors ufoiern mss
s,n.ers 4 destruction. bu5 a grent iron ball
~. . L deep. ragged fringe, showing rude
cas;n-. II mea urel fuli tire, niche in
cir. ullErycucc Ills was picSed MP IN the
bat, Tel! by al aide # Gen. Sco;t's. The
>ho. winch struck the general entered Below
the heart, passed through the lung and came
u nuilr the si.c9iIer-ulaia 4 surgeon
on IA, Nc.icaa side. who founi him. took "a
-i.k Kan liar Eief and. following the cJurss
OF the wound, drew It entirely through tine
h,iv. ~ certain were TIE u,eiica! men
tina. h c,U.i not recover that tie official r.
por: sent on - Wa hinsso !nclniei Shields
anon, the 1cst.
La all the years OF our married life sail
Mr. Shields / don't think | ever knew him
T. have one whole nigh; 4 sleep, undisturi-.i
by that wound lie would get up out of b, I
and walk the floor by the hour He was 4;
man l. complain, and very few peor.e
knew what h sufTvrei-ts could stand -
much. kfter he Was wounded IN
the Mexican war they wanted &
cat hiS eft arm on; it had begun
T. mortfy. He toll them no. Then they
sal the lnly thing tia. could possibly save
HIM was 10 cut in and scrape the bone H.
t'lt them % do il, and went through the ~,
Grafton without taking chloroform In toe
last war his right arm and shoulder wen.
badly hurt by fragments o. a shell, and he
had much trouble with them He could
never lie on that side. Won might think .
man who bad gone through such suffering
himself would get callous toward the. feal-
inEs Of others, but he didn't Ii wss noi
once, but many time. | have seer him take
Z mouse that had fallen into hasinof wa;er
and dry the little thing carefully, and LET i;
~ he was % tender-hesrt-d