Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-04-27
BRIGHT BITS.


STA physician recommends patent insldes.-
Boston Courier.
NJ. p. CURTIS, of Sam'l of Posen fame, who
played with Lolita in New Orleans II years
ago, saws she CLOCKS just as young AS ever,
but he'll bet hel'f a dollar she amt"
\ CHICAGO NEWSPAPER prints portrait of
a celebrated ballet dancer. and then com
it. There is nothing remarkable about this.
The likeness does not include that portion of
the fair danseuse which is most familiar to
the publiC.-GFdDhic.
PUTTING Him Through His Paces."-Mrs.
Mulvaney (the laundressl: "Indade, ma'am,
an it's miserable | am. I'm but just on me
feet wild the pain in me back, an Jimmy he's
as bad of; he has cough on UNI that sounds
lOike an empty bar'l Cough fer the lady,
Jimmy!'-Hdrper's Bdsar.
THE muskrat built his house last autumn in
au exceptionally light and unsubstantial way,
and consequently the Arctic weather Of March
chilled his brain, bewildered him and made
him an easy prey To the boys who were after
his hide. Plainly, the muskrat must abandon
his pretensons as a weather prophet.-PhjJa-
delDAtd Press.
$50 you've failed in business"
made an assignment and gone back to
clerklng?"
Eyes"
what was the trouble? Too much drink
ing?"
"WHAT playful Iambp' exclaimed a city
man as he watched an old ram trying to bat
ter down stone wall. II did not know they
were so full OF fun. :" Fun! :" echoed a farmer,
satirically. "He's mad, he is and besides. he
amt no lamb; he's a RAM ''Dear me! |
thought 1t was a spring lamb" "Guess he'd
better change butchers" unused the farmer as
he drove off.-Pbt5ade2Dhid can.
ayes, sir, desire to buy house in the
country" said the broker.
Il am sure mine will suit you," answered
his caller.
1T has a beautiful situation right on the
margin of a lake and"
THAT'S enough. l don't want it.. I will
not buy anything on margins these times"
emphatically said the brOker.-PittS6urg
Chronicle.
A CLERK in a shoe store became tired of the
business, and obtained a situation in a hard
ware store.
His first customer a farmers wife, came in
and called for mule shoes.
Yes. madam he said; ''what size do you
wear?"
He is now trying to get back into the shoe
line.-Ne10 York Sun.
"sEE HERE" said an angry citizen to a
quack doctor that wonderful discovery OF
yours for preserving the scalp is fraud"
"Why so?"
"Look at that" he went on, removing his
hat. 'slnce using it have lost all my hair.'
"Oh, it doesn't pretend to preserve the
hair" replied the doctor ''only the scalp
You've got your scalp left. You mustn't ex-
pect too much Of medical science" -Neao
York Sun
A GOOD REASON
Why does she hold her head so high
And look so supcrciliOus,
And pass the other maidcns by,
AS II they made her bilious2
Well may she proudly walk the street
The while her pride increases;
Her crazy quilt is just complete,
Made OF ten thousand pieces.
BOStOn Courier.
BROwN ITO lawyer)-Smith called me a fool
jackass in the presence Of witnesses. Isn't that
remark actOnable?
| Lawyer-Yes, it is libellous, certainly. Did
he say anything else?
| Brown lanXiouslyi-He said he could prove
! it.
/ Lawyer-rhat won't make any difference.
brown (relieved)-Al right, IL YOU are sure
| OF that. Go ahead and sue him for $500.-Nelo
/ York Sun.
SMALL Boy ITO his father. who is opposed to
/ roller skating)-They amt going TO call the
/ rink round the corner 1.-THE Eureka" any
/ more.
Father without any emotion) -what are
/ they going 10 call it,
/ Small Boy-They're going to call it 1.-THE
/ Niagara during the summer.
Fathcr-Well, my son, what are they going
/ to call IL the Niagara for2
small Roy with much cnthusiasm)-'Cause
/ the people can go to see the falls Christian
/ at Work.