The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1885-07-25
THE DEAD-LETTER OFFICE.
L. Collins. IN Harperls Weekly.

there IS perhaps no place In Washington
as much visited by the ordinary sight-seer
as the DeadLetter Office A large pro-
portion of our fifty millions seem to have
a general and indefinite idea that the great
machinery of the government is located
here; that it is a huge motor, the throbs of
whose pulsating engines is felt from the
Lakes to the Gulf, and from the Atlantic
to the Pacific. But beyond this all is
vague and misty. The Treasury is term
for our bullion; the Patent Office shows
that we are not dullards in the matter of
invention; the War, State and Navy De-
partments suggest that we have foreign
policy, place among the powers of the
world, and soldiers and sailors when re-
quired. But there is nothing personal in
this it awakens a national pride, and that
is all. The casual visitor returns to his
home truer patriot than ever, and reads
with new gusto and enthusiasm all about
the surrender of CORVALLIS, following it
up with the story of the cotton bales on
that historic 18th of January, when, as
certain Fourth of July orator declared,
"The bold and naughty lion crouched and
quailed before our victorious eagle.
However, as we said, the pivotal point
of interest is the Dead-Letter Office A
letter has peculiar interest to every indi-
vidual A mysterious attraction belongs
to that small sealed missive. Sometimes
it is clumsy and soiled, and the address
smothered under innumerable postmarks;
sometimes it is dainty affair, with mono
gram, coat of arms, or asoul-stirring motto;
sometimes it is fresh from the hand of the
writer, and again it is worn with long
journeyings over land and sea.
The Postofice Department is a pile Of
glittering white marble, imposing enough
to be the headquarters of our immense mail
service; and it is somewhat strange that the
proverbial American curiosity ty-hunter on a
tour of investigation does not pry into its
contract offices, stamp division, supply
bureau, &C. But whatever may be the
cause, the tide Of visitors ebbs and flows
with unbroken regularity only through the
departmental Valhalla
For the first eleven years of the existence
of this bureau the records of the Office
were kept in single small book, and
showed that 365 valuable letters were re-
ceived during that time For the fiscal
year ending July l, 1882, 3,2S8, ,589 dead
letters were received, 562,6 unavailable
and II, III blanks, and more than 10000
bearing requests were returned to the
writers.
Dead letters proper are such as have been
correctly addressed, forwarded to their des-
tination, there advertised, and unclaimed
The ''unmailable'' comprises several classes:
Those that have some deficiency in the ad-
dress, such as have been held for postage,
entirely blank, insuficiently paid to foreign
countries not included in the Postal Union,
those addressed to hotels, and unclaimed,
fictitious and initial letters, amounting in
all to an average of 10000 per month
The blank letters, of which there are about
900 per month, have proven upon inves-
tigation to be the most valuable as a class
that come to the office. They contain more
money, checks, drafts and notes than any
others. The majority of the short-paid
foreign letters belong to Australia, Since
our international postal arrangements now
extend nearly all over the civilized world,
and postage is not compulsory, this class
does not greatly swell the number of the
unmailable.
Many people seem to imagine that the
duty of The clerks in this office is to open
letters, leisurely inspect the contents, and
return them to the writers. What a stu
pendous mistake thn is will be readily dis
cerned by superficial glance at the actual
state of affairs. The employees occupy, in
addition to the main Office, sixty feet long
by forty feet wide, gallery extending en-
tirely around it, and furnished with a
double row of desks, and half dozen
smaller rooms The work is divided sys-
tematically, and certain proportion Of
clerks assigned to each subdivision; fol
instance, the division of dead letters proper
the money branch, the property branch
and the unavailable, while to some is al
lotted the task of simply returning letters
About $4,000 per anpqm finds its way
here, most of which Is restored to its rightful
oWneTsi bgt, in case of utter failure to dc
this, it is turned into the Treasury to the
credit of the Postofice Department,
The property branch shows many curious
things; here, as in the money division, every
effort is made to place an article in the
hands of the owner, but this is often not
only serious and perplexing matter, but
absolutely impossible. At intervals of two
years a sale of the accumulation takes
place. The catalogue of the last CON-
prised several thousand articles,
The ENTRANCE to the Dead Letter Office
is its museum, There are some things
which nobody would buy, and some which
the Office did not care to sell; and glass
cases around the walls contain the rejected
and despised, as well as those esteemed
above a monetary value. For instance, au
immense saw is suspended in iuxtaposition
to an array of bottles containing respec.
lively cologne salad oil, beer and poison
There are huge platters fit for Christmas
turkeys, and beam of wood that might be
poetically suggestive of the Yule-log if il
were not keeping company with skull, a
clothes -wringer, an alligator's skin, a horned
frog, and serpents in state Of such beastlJ
intoxication that they will never wrigglt
ASdln; Ipf lheY hNS dAA AOfO 0hu navy
their being in alcohol. There are boxes
J of wedding cake tied with satin ribbon
? "Jumbo" babies, birds nests, artifcia
roses so exquisite one might fancy them 8
: cluster freshly plucked, dolls enough to fiji
: many child-mother's arms, aud scrap al
buns enough, when supplemented by pot
of paste to make the same class supremely
happy, while driving the same number O
: tidy housewives to desperation. The array
of combs Is sufficient to represent every
manufacturer and to straighten all tn,
: tangled hair in Christendom. There ar,
4 pots of cacti well fortified for any manne
t of defense, which arrived at the Ofic
J brown, angry and bristling; but 10 | whel
D they had been given of that which they
e love-brown earth, sunny window ant
: plentiful drink-they burst into gorgeous
r blossoms of tropical richness. A coat o
more colors than Josephs, and much nor
| bizarre in design than any that could hay'
E been constructed in thOse primitive times
2 was puzzle even to the white-haired lad,
! who lives among these curiosities, until on
e day gentleman came in who, upon glanc
: ING at it, exclaimed "HOw in the worl,
did that Sandwich Islander lose his coat 2
II Il l. ~