davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
Suffering womanhood.

Too much effort cannot be made to bring
to the attention Of suffering womanhood the
great value Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound as a remedy for the diseases OF
women, and perhaps nothing 10 more erectusl
than the testimony of those who have been
cured by it. Such an one is the wife Of Gen.
eral Barringer, of winston, N. c., and we
quote from the Generals letter az follows:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham: Please allow me TO
add my testimony to the most excellent
medicinal qualities Of your Vegetable Com
pound. Mrs. Barringer was treated for sew
eral years for what the physicians called
Lcucorrhea and Prolapsus Uteri combined.
sent her to Richmond, Va, where she rO-
NAMED for six months under the treatmen-
OF an eminent Physician without any psrmas
nent benefit. She was induced to try your
medicine, and, after reasonable time. COM
menced to improve, and ID now able TO attend
to her business aud considers herself fully
relieved General Barringer 10 the proprie-
tor Of the American Hotel, Winston, n. O.,
and in widely known.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

GIVE made terrible mistake, Mr..
Powder" gasped pale-looking man,
as he sank into chair in the back
part OF the drug store. whats the
matter? ?" exclaimed the druggist.
"Ive poisoned myself. What did
you take?" 81 drank a half-bottle of
YOUR patent hair-dye.' go" replied
the druggist, with a sigh of relief,
chats all right. !! was afraid at first
that you might have put some on
your hair" New York Graphic.
'PwAY, Miss Hattie" lisped slim
dude to a young woman sitting idly in
the "of what ah you thinking don't
YOU know?" Nothing, Mr.. Montmo-
renci, absolutely nothing" "Indeed,
Miss Hattie, don't you know-ah-
don't you know-now, WEAKLY | flat
tered myself that / occupied youah
thoughts, Miss Hattie $50 you do,
Mr.. Montmorenci," and the fair girl
sat idly in the sun, while Mr.. Montmor-
enci went off to the horse-trough to
cool his heated brow.-ArkansaW
Traveller.
SPRING sports are all the rage With
the boys, and the Tuffboy and Small
face gangs are quite like rivals IN out
of-door exercise. eve jes' got those
fellers hot" remarked Jimmy Tutfboy
at the table. eve run 'em down an
finally drove 'em into their zareba. !"
''Into their what ?" "Into their Ear
cha, dad" ''What in timenation is a
zareba?" Don't you know? They
have zarebas in the Soudan. But
Charley Smallface's wood-shed is a
good enough zareba for us to use. A
zareba is a hole to drive fellers into. F."
New Haven Evening Post. -
THE editor of the Mulingtown Rush
Light is angry. Last week, not feeling
very we'll, he pointed to an article and
said to the foreman, 81 am to 60 away
on this evenings train, and as [ am
too sick to write anything. [ want
you to republish this thing" The
foreman, who lost his state ofsobriety
shortly after the editor left town,
thought that he was following instruc-
tons, but in the next issue OF the
paper, under the head of 'Republished
by request" appeared the following
''Hank Beers dog is dead. Now is
the time to subscribe. Uncle Abe Pot
ter is down with therheumatism. Let
us organize. Pay us what you owe ,
-Arkansaw Traveller.
A PREACHER in Southern Missouri,
after sending his hat around among
the brethren and vainly urging them to
contribute, clasped his hands, raised
his eyes, and said: Lord, this is the
toughest crowd | have ever found.
have preached in the Black Jack neigh
borhood, and have ridden the Red
Range circuit, but this congregation
occupies a place little further re-
moved from the giving spout than any
people 1 ever saw. Amen" Then
turning to the sexton he said: Give
got two gallons OF old whisky stored
away not far from here. AS | don't
use liquor myself, am going to give
it to some worthy man. Carry the
hat around once more" The hat
came back full of silver. The preacher
went into the woods to look for the
whisky. Up to few hours ago he
had not returned.-Drake's Travellers
Magazine.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
Needn't Wait for Him.
From the Boston Evening Record

(From the Boston Evening Record
A good story is told of an old-time
Bostonian whose son is still living in
the enjoyment of hale and hearty age
at the Hub, who went on to New York
at the time the Aston House was in its
golden youth. The old Bostonian
took his son with him, and, fearful
lest he should be led away by the
tempters of that day in Gotham, was
particular that the youth should be
at the hotel early in the evening. In
his simplicity the good Bostonian sup
posed that early hours were kept at
the Aston House, and when O'Clock
came, and his son had not returned,
he felt that it was too bad that the
hotel proprietors should beincommod-
ed on his account. So, in the kind
ness of his heart, the old Bostonian
went up to the Office desk and said to
the landlord:
Tommy hasn't come in yet, but
there's no need of your keeping open
fol- him. You can shut up the hotel
nOW!"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
Degenerate Sons of Statesmen.

Washington Letter to tt Philadelphia Times |
Any one who attends the presider t s
receptions is struck by the physical
contrast between the prominent
statesmen of the day and their hope
full sons. 1t is. well known that all the
United States senator's, with three ex-
ceptions, and nearly all the able men
in the House of Representatives are
above the average height and of very
ample proportions. They are self
made men and required all the vitality
of their large frames to raise them
selves in the world. They are an hon
or to the White House and lend digni-
ty to its receptions. But what a
pitiful lot are their wretched little
dudes of sons, with their spindle legs,
dwarfed frames, sunken chests and
colorless faces ambitionless, dissi-
pated, without even a manly vice.
There are some marked exceptions,
but the average society man, as seen
in the White House. is anything but
an object of admiration. 1t is a com
mon sight to see a handsome, stately
girl with one of these little objects
trotting across the room at her side,
scarcely reaching her shoulders. That
women don't admire the puny things
is proved by the rarity OF marriage
In Washington society, exceptln army
and navy circles, where the young men
are more manly In form and charac-
fer
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
Painful Impressions.

A remarkable characteristic of the
average newspaper reader of the day is
the eagerness and avidity one seeks for
painful impressions caused by perusing
accounts of human suffering Is there
a railroad accident, steamboat disas-
ter, hanging, a lynching, a murder or
anything of this nature wildly written
up and glowingly pictured in reporto
rial descriptive style, it at once becomes
the most interesting item Of the paper.
Managers of our large and most success
full metropolitan dailies pander to this
corrupt and morbid taste of their pa
irons. A reporter will be dispatched a
hundred miles to gather the latest and
most minute details of some Hcentious
rape or revolving murder, while the
deeds of the good and the virtuous are
never known outside narrow limit.
"Full many rose Is born to blush unseen,
And waste its fragrance on the desert air.
All this is evidence Of mental disease,
a truth that can not be contradicted.
They that are clothed and in their right
mind 10th evil and recital Of evilways
with them it is "peace on earth ana
good will toward men," Heaven on
earth" is printed on their banner, while
AL their ways are ways OF pleasant
ness and all their paths are peace" Not
all are conscious of their mental inn
pairment; SO long have they suffered
from urinary, digestive and nervous dis
orders, that they consider their feelings
and Impressions natural and common to
even healthful individuals. But if all
such should regain perfect health and
strength of mind and body by using
DIR. GUYSOTT'S YELLOW DOCK
AND SARSAPARILLA, they would
experience a change of feeling that
would be most gratifying and pleas
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

AMERICAN heiresses seem to have a
penchant for Italian noblemen. In
addition to Miss Mackay, the leading
names the list comprise Miss Field,
Princess Brancaccio; Miss Lorillard
Spencer, Princess Vicarara Cenci; Miss
Broadwood, Princess Ruspolli; Miss
Conrad, Marchesa Teodoli; Miss Kin
ney, Countess Grannoti; Miss Fisher;
Countess Gherardesca; Miss Roberts,
Countess Cali; Miss Fry, Marchesa
Torrogiani; Miss Lewis, Countess Bar
bolini Amadei; Miss Gillinder, Marche
sa di San Marzarno, and Miss Hunger
ford, Countess Telfener.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
Vital Questions III
Ask the most eminent physician

Ask the most eminent physician
OF any school, what is the best thing IN the,
world for quieting and aIaying all irritation Of
the nerves, and curing all forms of nervous com
plants, giving natural childhke refreshing sleep
always2
And they will tell you unhesitatingly
Some form OF HOpsi!P'
CHAPTER l.
Ask any or ell Of the most eminentphysicdaus:
What is the best and only remedy that can
be relied on to cure all diseases of the kidDeys
and urinary organs; such as Bright's disease
diabetes, retention, or inability to retaiR urinA
and all the diseases and ailments peculiar I'd
Women
"And they win tell you explicitly and smphat-
ically tBuchul!P'
Ask the same physicians
What is the mostn able and surest cure for
all liver diseases or dyspapsia; constipation
and they wiz tell you:
Mandrake! or DandaH0n mr.
Hence, when these remedies are combined wit
others equally valuable,
And compounded into Hop Bitters, such O
wonderful and mysterious curative power Is de-
veloped, which is so varied inits operations that
no disease or LII health can possibly exist re-
sist its power, and yet it is
Harmless for the most frail woman, weakest
nVanQ or smallest child to use.
CHAPTER II.
patients
almost dead or nearly dying
For years, and given up by physicians, Of
Brights and other kidney Diseases liver COM
plants, severe coughs, called consumption, have
been cured.
Women gone nearly crazy nm
From agony of neuralgia, nervousness, wake
fulness, and various diseases peculiar to women
People drawn out of shape from excrucating
pangs of Rheumatism, infammatory and chron-
ic, or suffering from scrofula.
EPysipelas
"Saltrheum, blood poisoning, dyspepsia indi
gestion, and in fact, almost all diseases frail"
Nature is heir to
Have been cured by Hop Bitters, proof of which
can be foundin everyneighborhood in the knowE
world.
RB- None genuine without a bunch of green
Hops on thewhitelabel. Shun all the vile, poison
Gus stuff with "Hop" OF "Hops" in their name.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
The Common ENEMY.

In order to make Roadway against the COM
mon enemy, Disease it is necessary to oppose
him with persistence. It very frequently hap
pens that remedy perfectly adequate to the
necessities of the case. il persisted in, is con-
demned and thrown aside because few doses
it do not cure malady. How unreasonable
and unjust would such Judgment be regard
ing Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, one of the
most popular and highly sanctioned medicines
OF the day, potent invigorant, and an invaria-
bly, successful remedy for constipation, dyspep-
STA, liver complaint, incipient rheumatism, neu-
ralg1a and govt, inactivity and weakness of the
kidneys and bladder, and for the infrmities in
cident to the decline Of life. No fact is better
established than the above, yet in order to ex-
perience it's TRUTH those afflicted with obstinate
forms of disease should give this benignant Gu
rative a patient trial If they do, they may rely
upon decisive curative results.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
How Booth Passed the Pickets
From the PHILADELPHIA Times

From the Philadelphia Times.
"Did you ever know how Wilkes
Booth passed the pickets on the bridge
of the eastern branch of the Potomac
that fatal night ?" said my friend. II
will tell you as it was told to me by
the old sentinel who was that night on
duty there. A half-hour before the
time agreed upon by Booth to meet
Harold, the latter, who had lived in
the neighborhood of the bridge all his
life. and who was across the river in
the little village of Uniontown then,
crossed the bridge to come over on the
Washington side. "Who goes there 2"
said the sentinel on the bridge. GA
friend, going for DOCTOR" replied
Harold. "Pass," said the sentinel.
He quickly rode up Eleventh Street
to PENNSYLVANIA Avenue and Eighth
Street, and there in the darkness
waited until the laundering hoofs of
Booth s horse were heard coming down
Pennsylvania Avenue The two horse
men then started down Eighth Street
toward the bridge on that ride for
their lives, which ended in Garrett s
burning barn in Virginia, a hundred
miles away. "Who goes there ?" rang
out on the air from the startled sentry
as the two horses came rushing to-
ward the bridge. Harold was ahead
and cried out, "A friend, with the doc
tor The two men passed over the
bridge, and it was perhaps several
hours after the reverberations of the
horses hoofs had died away before the
sentry knew who the men in such a
hurry really were, and when he found
out he was nearly scared to death for
fear he had failed to do his duty"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
PHOTO-PORTRAIT
e Z ". u. S. RANT.
l9x24 Inches.

There are many portraits of GEN GRANT as
there were of GEORGE WASHINGTON, but the por-
trait of Grant by BogaIdus, taken just after his
return from the trip around the world, when at
The zenith of his tame in the prime of life and
in perfect health, is the only one that will be
known in the future. The portrait of Washing
ton by Stuart is the one known to the masses;
even children recognize 1t before they know the
alphabet. The portrait of OUR OLD COMMANDER,
as taken at the time we refer to, is the one that
will live in the minds of the people ofthe country
he saved. Millions saw Gen. Grant at about the
time this was taken. Even though Gen. Grant
shall happily be spared to his country for another
generation, he can never have portrait taken
that Will fill the popular eye and heart this one
does taken when at his best. Hence this will be
painting can compare, as likeness, with the
photograph-the mirror of the face.
NO one can look at the portrait without dis
covering the signs of character that won battles
during the war, and of late has driven death
from his door when all others quailed with fear.
We have published this portrait as sort of Eas-
ter card Of JOY at the probable recovery of the
Nations Old Soldier. 1t is not for sale. 1t will
only be furnished to subscribers to THE EVENING
WISCONSIN and the WEEKLY WISCONSIN, upon the
annexed terms:
Present subscribers to the WEEKLY WISCONSIN
and THE EVENING WISCONSIN, by mail, can secure
copy by remitting S100 for the Weekly for one
year beyond the expiration of the present sub
scription; and 81. 90 for two months beyond the
present subscription of THE EVENING WISCONSIN
by mail. This offer good to July LIST.
Every new subscriber to the WEEKLY WISCONSIN
w
two months sending $780, may receive the por-
trait by mail. No limit to this offer.
Subscribers to the Weekly can receive an extra
copy by sending new subscriber, and the new
subscriber may receive one Or they may remit
$500 for two years subscription and receive two
copies OF the portrait
Subscribers by mail to the Daily WISCONSIN can
receive two portraits by remitting $500 for six
months. The extra copies will be mailed to any
address in the United States, postpaid. AS the
portrait is published only by us, it cannot be
purchased and it would cost 81 90 if it could) it
will be nice present to any one
Frames, with glass, can be had with the por-
trait, and sent by express at cost and risk of re-
ceiver by adding the price of frame to the above
rates. Two inch oak and maroon frame with black
line Tor $1.00; three inch mahogany and gilt,
30; very rich bronze and gilt for $500.
The portrait may be seen at every post office
where the WISCONSIN is taken, by asking the Post
master to whom we shall send copy to be posted.
Address
CRAMER, AIKENS & CRAMER
LIZ rrzr,X
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
People Going West.

Seeking homes, health, investments, EN-.
ployment or recreation, can obtain maps
descriptive pamphlets and information
about cost of tickets, by mail free, upon
application to j. w. Morse, General Pas
senger Agent Union Pacific Railway, Oma.
ha, Nebraska. State where you saw this
sas, Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming Utah
Idaho, Montana, Oregon, Washington, Ne
vada or California.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

"HELLo, Brown Rather chilly wealth
er for camping out on the front steps
Can't you find your night key?" eyes
(hic), ole fel'-nitsh keysall irish. Had
new (hic) lock put on door (hic) yesh-
day. Fellah must ben drunksh.
Screwed knob (hic) on key hole. DE
trOif Journal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

INDIGESTION, dyspepsia, nervous prostra-
ton and all forms of general debility re-
ieved by taking MENsMANs PERFORMED
BEEF Tonic, the only preparation of beef
containing its entire nutritious properties.
1t contains blood-making, force generating
and DEMONSTRATING properties; is invaluable
in all enfeebled conditions, whether the re-
suit of exhaustion, nervous prostration
overwork, or acute disease, particularly if
resulting from pulmonary complaints.
Caswell, Hazard & Co., proprietors, New
YnrE
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

Don't say there is no help for Catarrh,
Hay Fever and Cold in Head, since thousands
testify that Ely's Cream Balm has entirely
cured them. 1t supersedes the dangerous
use OF liquids and snufs. 1t is easily ap-
piled with the finger and gives relief at once
Price so cents at druggists; go cents by mail
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
A FABLE.
BY t. EKINHEAD MAYNE.

The red rose to her velvet leaf
Has rolled a drop from her heart,
Hers is a beautifying grief,
Love made the glowing tear to start.
The blush of morning in the sky
Is not SO red and warm as she;
Neither do days of autumn die
Drowned in such color DER the sea.
] pass thee, lily, fair and cold,
To me the red rose is more dear
Because her tender heart can hold
The love from which has sprung this tear
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
Are You Discouraged /?

Has your physician failed to arrest the
disease from which you are suffering? Are
you losing faith in medicines, and growing
alarmed at your condition.? Then give
Compound Oxygen a trial. It will vitalize
the nerve centers and impart a new quality
to the blood, thus enabling nature, the
only true healer, to do the work of cure.
Write to Drs. Starkey & Palen, 11O9 Girard
Street, Phila., for their treatise on Com
pound Oxygen Sent free
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

For over eight years I have suffered
from catarrh, which has affected my eyes and
nearing; have employed many physicians
without relief. j am new on my second bot
tie OF Ely's Cream Balm and feel confident of
. complete cure-Mary O. Thompson, Cerro
GOrdO, Pratt County I'll
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
AT a church entertainment in A

AT church entertainment in Au-
gusta, the other evening, they had a
mock school, One of the questions
was "What are the seven wonders of
the world?" A was asked to name
one of them, B another, and so on.
One of the class gave as the seventh
wonder, "Who will get the Augusta
post-office ?"-Lewiston (Me.) Jour
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

WHAT can be more disagreeable, more
disgusting, than to sit in a room with a
person who is troubled with catarrh, and
has to keep coughing and clearing his or
her throat of the mucous which drops into
lti Such persons are always to be pitied
II they try to cure themselves and fail. But
If they get DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy there
need be no failure.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
InDOrtant.

When you visit or leave New York city
save Baggage Expressage and Carriage Hire,
and stop at the Grand Union Hotel,
opposite Grand Central Depot; 600 elegant
rooms fitted up at cost of one million
dollars, reduced to 81 and upwards per
day. European plan. Elevator. Restau-
rant supplied with the best. Horse cabs,
stage, and elevated railroad to all depots.
Families can live better for less money at
the Grand Union than at any frst-class
hotel in the city.
MISS EDITH M. THOMAS, the poet, is
the guest of Mrs. James T. Fields in
Boston.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
An Extended PopuIarity.

Browns BRONCHIAL TRoCHEs have been
before the public many years. For re-
lieylng coughs and throat troubles they are
superior to all other articles. Sold only in
boxes.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

"BEEsoN' s AROMATIC Alum Sulphur Soap"
is Indispensable in treating Skin Disease,
Baby Humors, Prickly Heat Rashes, Sun
burn, Rough, Chapped, or Greasy Hands,
Sore Lips, and all Skin Blemishes; it's ex-
elusive use will retain a beautiful, smooth
by mail of VIM. Dreydoppel, Philadelphia,
Pa
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

ALIENS IRON Tonic Buffers is THE
most powerful tonic in the world. All
genuine bear the signature of ]. P. Allen,
Druggist, ST. Paul, Min.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

A Place to Practice Christianity.
Formerly when Persian Mahome-
tar killed a Christian he was fined
$15. Now he has to pay 500 for the
same privilege. If a Mahometan can
capture Christian girl and can con-
vert her to his religion, when her faith
er dies he inherits his property to the
exclusion of all other heirs. This
causes a great run after the daughters
OF rich Christians, even when they're
not pretty. If a Mahometan, when
out walking, meets a Christian on
horseback, the latter has to surren-
der his steed and allow the follower of
the Prophet to ride to his destination.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

= Ruptures radically cured, also
pile tumors and fstulas. Pamphlet of par
ticulars two letter stamps. Worlds Dis
pensary Medical Association, Buffalo, n. Y.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

MRS. I. MCCARTHY, Richland Center, Wis,
after suffering six years with an aggravated
case OF salt rheunn, was cured by the use oil
Coles Carbolisalve. 20 and so cents. Sold
by druggists.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

used part of two bottles of Ely's Cream
baim, and can say / am entirely cured OF
cstarrh. Charles Biesel, Co. K, 18th Infan-
try, Fort Custer. III. T.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

GERMANY has annexed good deal
of territory during the last year, and
vet she wants Sa-moa.-Ex.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

JOHN BOYLE O'REILLY, editor of the
Pilot, is said to be the handsomest
man in Boston, and is much sought
after by the Hubs society.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06
A Sad Case OF Poisoning

1s tnat OF any man or woman afflicted with
disease or arrangement of the liver re-
sulting in poisonous accumulations in the
blood, scrofulous affections, sick headaches,
and diseases of the kidneys, lungs or heart.
These troubles can be cured only by going
to the primary cause, and putting the liver
IN a healthy condition. To accomplish
this result speedily and effectually nothing
has proved itself SO efficacious as DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, which
has never failed to do the work claimed for
it, and never will.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-05-06

TIVE NoR7H SCAR Lung and Throat Bal
sam lie o. sure cure for coughs and colds.