McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1885-01-01
MR.. THEMISTOCLES BOBBIN.
CHAPTER /.

Mr.. Themistocles Bobbin and wife,
sat down to supper one evening, just
one year after their marriage, in by no
means the best of spirits. They had
married hastily, and, not following out
the old adage by repenting at leisure,
were impatient in their regret. They
first met one night at ball given for
the benefit of the flood sufferers, and
having contributed their mite toward
the relief of those unfortunate people,
fell, as they imagined, in love with
each other. Four days later they were
married by little squint-eyed preach
er who failed to return any change
when Themistocles Bobbin handed
him-with a slight flourish of ostenta-
tion-a fifty dollar note. Bobbin had
smaller notes, OF rather one other of
the X denomination, but the report
that he was rather shiftless, having
found circulation, he preferred to Of
fer the large note in the presence Of
the company and then hear the minis
ter-the very man who had started the
report-say, "Indeed, my dear sir,
have you no smaller bills? 1t is quite
impossible for me to change this onep"
Then Bobbin would have said, 'sAh,
let me see? Yes, here is one," with
which reply he would have handed out
ten dollars and passed as q capitalist;
but the preacher made no such re-
mark. He exhibited no surprise.
Thanking Bobbin, he pushed the mon
ey into his Clothes" as the swindled
bridegroom afterwards expressed it,
and soon found his way to the dining
room where he proceeded to do inius-
lice to chicken salad and other indi-
gestible food.
Bobbin and his wife did not get
along well together. They were both
inclined to be literary, woeful state
of affairs, it must be confessed. Bob
bin made a pretense of practicing law,
but he never had but one client and he
Jumped his ball." and, of course, ran
away without paying anything. This
disguised Bobbin with the criminal
practice. Mrs. Carrie Bobbin was
strikingly handsome. Her great
brown eyes were expressive of deep
sympathy-sympathy for her own lit
tie whims and the impossible charac-
tiers of her foolish little stories.
''You look gloomy this evening,
Carrie" said Bobbin while he and his
wife sat at the supper table just one
year from the time the preacher had
pocketed his fifty dollars.
'.Ihave enough to make me gloomy
she replied, spreading with lavish
white hand pretty liberal ''cut'' of
butter on biscuit.
Haven't lost anything, have youP''
asked the husband with mock anxiety.
sd like to know how 1 could lose
anything. We must possess before
we lose.''
'.Sententious, surely, but I didn't
know but that you had found some
thing while I was down town and had
"Oh, see. You didn't know but
my only client had run away with the
dish PAM"
, Sarcastic, by my green bag, you
are.'
':Green bag" she contemptuously
81 should like to know
what you want of green bag. I
should think that a green thumb-stall
would be quite sufficient to contain all
the documents needed in your prac-
tice."
'.Look here, was only joking, but
/ see that you are angry"
81 am not angry, anything of the
kind
.sWhat do you mean by thatp Not
angry anything of the kind. Fine SEN
tence must say. Is that the way
your pink-eyed heroines talk?"
..Mine talk quite as well as yours
do, I thank you.''
'sOh, you are under no obligations,
whatever. Let me see, what was your
last story? Frost Bitten Geraldine,
of the Turnip that wouldn't roll up
Ihill?' Is that it?''
''Makes no difference, it wasn't re-
jected by the editor of humorous pa
per-"
'.Ah, you think you are awful smart.
That was very poor cut at me. l
never had the editor of a village paper
to tell me to please send my contribu-
tions to rival paper"
! 81 wouldn't live with such beast
as you are," she said, showing back
her chair. You are nothing but
kinkey-headed beast, and you know
it"
Snow, here, madam, if you think
that want to live with you, why you
have simply made a mistake in the So
lution of household problem
'.What did you marry me for, thena"
Because we both happened to be
there at the same time, suppose.
'.Oh, you good for nothing brute, I
wish never had seen you"
81 didn't know that you wished me
such good luck. Carrie, in all kind
ness, let me say that it is evident we
cannot live together. 1 think that
we'd better make move toward get
ting divorce. We are both young,
and may live to forget the unhappi-
ness we have caused each other.'
'.Do you think we can get a di-
yorce?"
81 think so.n
"Then we viii apply at once"