Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1885-01-01
A NEW CRIME.
How An Arlxansaw Justice of the Peace
Resented Interference With His judicial

How An ArlSansaw Justice of the Peace
Resented Interference With His judicial
Prerogatives.
When old Anderson Brumley an
nounced himself as candidate for
Justice of the Peace, the people of
Buck Short Township felt that the time
when they were to have an able and
upright administration of judicial af-
fairs had arrived. Old Brumley had
never opened law book; therefore he
was regarded as honest. He had never
hesitatel to take off his coat and fight
the best man in the neighborhood;
therefore he was considered able. He
had never been backward in denouncing
his enemies, consequently he was re-
garded as a citizen of wisdom. With
these accomplishments, his election. in
the expressive parlance of politics, was
walk over" Shortly after Brumley
took his seat on the red oak woolsack,
man named Billy Malone was arrested
for stealing a grind-stone.
This here is a mighty important
case" said the magistrate, when the
culprit had been arraigned before the
court. 'In lookin' over these here law
stones. 1t was big oversight IN our
Legislature not to put down grind
stones in the books, fur it mout have
been know'd that some blamed rascal
in this part o. the State was a goin' to
steal one. Folks in this here part o.
the country, let me tell you, will steal
anything. Wa'al, in the absence o.
any statuary barin' on the subjeck,
reckon I'll make this here charge man.
slaughter in the first degree"
"Your honor" said a lawyer, "that
would be impossible"
"Wood itP Wa'al, I'll jes show You
I'm running this here court"
| "Your honor" f@
"Call me ledge, if you please"
"Well, Jedge, there is no such thing
as manslaughter in the first degree"
"Ain't thar? Wall, I'll. jes show you
I'm runnin' this here court. Prisoner
at the bar, have longed fur oppor-
tunity o. teachin lesson to the risin'
generation. You have given me that
chance. don't delight in SEEM a
man fall from grace, but when he does
fall, thar ain nothin' that pleases me
so much as to tangle my hand in the
rufiles o. his calico shirt. Manslaugh-
ter is mighty serious charge, young
Teller"
II amt slaughtered no man yit,
Jedge.n
"Shet your mouth, impudent violater
o. the sacred law o. the land. No mat
ter what you done. / say it was man.
slaughter in the fust degree, an when
a man disputes my word, wy, he'd bet
ter wush that his bones was made outcr
Injun rubber an his back kivercd with
the skin o. yalligator. Young out
RACER o. the principles of civilization,
fur this great crime of manslaughter in
the fust degree, sentences yon to bt
hung next Friday"
Judge" exclaimed the lawyer,
springing TO his feet, "this proceeding
is impossible"
ais itP Wa'al, I'll lis show you Tn
runnin' this court. When you git Il
be a Jedge, won't come round tellin
you what you can do an what you
can't"
Great Caesar, Judge, such cours,
as you are taking is violation of the
State Constitution"
'.Is ftp Wa'al, I'll Jest repeal the
State Constitution right here. Thii
teller ougbter be hung, an IL 1 haC
catch him ten days ago, whuther Of
not he had committed manslaughter il
the fust degree or stold a grindstone il
the second, which is the same, would
have sentenced him to be hung. Mr.
Constable, take charge o this man an
see that he is hung up in RESPECTABLE
manner. Any lawyer what don
wanter be sarved in the same way hat
better keep his mouth shet. I'm run
min this court. "--.Opie p, Read, Il
! 7e~os 6iftin0s.