Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-09-18

out of such idiots.
Papa says he does not see the sens
! Of such jokes. l simply tell a lot O
enormous lies to convince oredulous
foreigners l am a perfect fool-whereas
/ could do it more easily by just being
natural. If papa wasn't SO dyspeptie
he northumberland that it was de.
licious to sec how much they would
! swallow.
However, had no time to follow up
my success that afternoon. Mamma
came hustling up, all smiles. to tell
Mr.. Fox she knew his cousin. Lord
Emtehed. How charmed she would be
to have him call very socn, and 81 lot
OF gush. Mamma is more than a bit
OF an Angiomaniac- As | am not, /
left them, partly, also, | confess, be-
cause l saw my cousin Tom glaring
awfully, Tom and | arc e~ngaged--se-
cretly. because he is go poor that We
have TO wait q long time before we
even tell papa and mamma.
much better than telling and being
shelved. Still, ] have to be careful.
Tom is so jealous, so afraid, poor boy,
that Ill get tired waiting and take q
better parti!
For fully a week l saw nothing of
Mr.. Fox. J. think he was digcsting
Some of my facts,
Englishmen require about that time
to assimilate chatf. Then they call
with d crushing repartce--in a note
book!
Finally he dropped in one Sunday
evening. Several men were there and
VIZ We're having charadcs, We arc apt
to have a iollytimo Sundays. Mamma
is an Episcopalian and papa is 9 broker
so, you see, we don have to be mar
row-minded.
OF course, being English, Mr.. Fox
misunderstood. he evidently thought
We were Comanches and adapted him
self. Nature helped him; he would
make a splendid Zulu. He sang in a
hideous talsetto, he put everybody
out, and then gayly slapping Tom on
the back, informed him that Ameri-
cans never could sing choruses! Tom
was wild. l had to squeeze his hand
under a music-book to pacify him.
In desperation we started more char
AIDES. There, again, the great Fox
came to the front, assuming, unasked,
the role of general director and nui-
sance. Everywhere, at once, he shout
ed us deaf, dumb, and mad. He gave
samples OF what he couldn't do, in all
sorts OF parts, and finally ended by
putting such realism into that OF the
bull in SANFORD and Merton" that he
charged through mammals glass
screen, emerging covered with pea-
cocks feathers, blood, and glory, to be
led away by papa for repairs.
I was awfully angry. l know per-
fectly we'll he simply acted SO outrage
ously because he thought we Gamer
icans' would be delighted with anything
he did. "NobLesse oblige"is my motto,
and if ! ever 90 to England CT Iulu-
land | intend to behave quite as well
as ] do at home.
When Air. Fox returned, radiant and
eager to take q hand i'll the next saw
age rite we performed, he found us
quietly discussing horses, and mamma
having vetoed anything more exciting
than conversation and tea while he re-
manned.
He is a charming young man, my
dears," she said. every like his dear
cousin. But he is too volatile for my
bric-a-brac.'
"Ahn Mr.. Fox Joined in affably.
"Yon ought to soe my hunters. Not
that they'd do you much service, You
haven't the game, you know"
"True Mr.. Fox" replied Tom, with
great suavity. Therefore, instead of
sending us donkeys. you should supply
us with foxes"
'Do we send you d~onkeysP" said
the obtuse creature. 81 didn't know
it. Why, what use do you make OF
them?"
1--WE make game OF Them" said the
audicious Tom.
20 Mr. Fox, do you like plain rid
ing?o l Interrupted in terror.
why, that's my fad, Miss Ire
maine he cried, II should say |
did. At home they call me a Centaur,
you know
$40 they? What a shame. He only
had u eye, while you have two" l
said synpathetically, gazing at him
with affected admiration.
SLliillS d sichly sHllic, NC
perhaps l meant Cyclops."
"Ah! Thanks. l did. How stupid
you must think mel Centaur; why
certainly, he's the one. who invented
the liniment. saw q picture of him
on a rock in the Gatskils-half man,
half donkey"
had the satisfaction OF seeing him
wilt.
My astounding ignorance knocked
him out. lie was silenced. The rest
of us drifted into q discussion on the
superiority Of ancient over modern
poetry, and, when ! backed up nv
side by TRANSMITTING some OF Horace's
odes, felt his google eyes fastened on
me in a surprise. He wa evidently
trying to understand a little .incon-
sistency he observed il me.
All the summer he became a sort of
se~mi-detachel fixture OF mine-always
joining me at chops and tennis
''frays," and spending every evening
at our house. | am sure | gave him no
encouragement, because Tom took it
into his head to become violently ZEAL
Gus Of him, and SO l had to be very
1N .,r y,,t g.