davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
A Happy-Go-Lucky Yankee Farmer

We ran across an old New Hampshire
farmer last week in one of our rambles
who has lived sixty-five years on the
farm he was born. He guessed he
had about five hundred acres of land,
large share of which is mountain pas
ture. A small brick cottage and two
barns were on the place. and he
wintered last year twenty-six head Of
cattle. He sells milk to the Writings,
at present furnishing five cans day.
But he could not say exactly how many
cows he has. how many he is milking.
or just how much he is getting for
milk. Nor could he say, more than
approximately, how much land he has,
how much hay he cuts. or how much it
costs him to make his milk. He did
not believe he was getting what it cost
him the year through, but just at this
time, when pasturage is at its height,
and he feeds no grain. he thought he
was making something. He said he
thought the whole place was worth
$1,000. He had raised family of ten
bows and girls. all of whom are still
living. and he had twice served in the
general court, and always voted the
Democratic ticket. 1t was fair illus
tration of the happy-go-lucky Yankee
farmer. who seldom has any system or
INDUCES in any plans, and possesses
only such an indefinite idea of his bust
ness as would ruin a manufacturer or
merchant. -LoweH Mass Courier.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
A SUM MER SONG.

O, lovely sunbeams, through the meadows
dancing,
On golden pinions, all the lvelong day,
Kissing young leaves. on crystal streamlets
Changing 10 living gold their silver spray.
Wee amorous elves, coquetting with the
wooing the daisy in her grassy bed,
Till the shy flower uncOnsciously uncloses
Her dew-gemmed leaves, and bushes rosy
red.
Gliding gray rocks, on rugged mountains
streaming,
Bidding the flowers in sheltered hooks
awake,
Calling young song birds from their happy
dreaming,
Waking the laughter of the dimpling lake
Playing "Bo-peep' amid the white buds
In peariy clusters on the hawthorn tree.
To the round eyes of wondering childhood
showing
The rapid journeyings of the wandering
bee.
Shedding a halo bright on youthful tresses,
Bidding young hearts for very rapture sing,
Touching the brow of care with kind caresses,
Or glinting lightly on the skylarks wing!
All, merry sunbeams, like sly cupids straying
In the glad footsteps of the rustic lass,
On sun-tanned cheeks and snow white ker-
chief playing,
Twinkling like fireHies in the emerald grass
Through courts of squalor, sickness, want
and gloom,
Telling of clouds like golden chariots riding
Proudly majestic Ger a world of bloom;
OF winding lanes and milk-white homesteads
peeping
Like modest virgins from secluded bowers;
OF shallow pools and baby streamlets leapinQ
In giddy gladness meath housekeeping
flowers.
Dance, lovely sunbeams, through fair coun
try meadows,
Battle hill and cottage in your holy light
From city slums go chase the mournfu
shadows
That fill poor homesteads with eterna
night.
To those who pine in ignorance and sorrow
May all your tenderest, hottest gifts be
given,
That sorrowing hearts one ray of hope may
may borrow
In the sweet knowledge that We come from
Heaveni
Fanny Forester In Ar0osy.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
"HOW'S THINGS?"
A Senseless Question Which Excited the
Ire of Californian.

A Senseless Question Which Excited the
Ire of a Californian.
"You vos never shaved in de old
country?' said the barber, as he lath-
cred away at customers chin. mo?
Veil dey hev a way of shaving dere dot
few in dis country know enything about.
They hev a paste which is spread over
de face. 1t rest dere ten minutes. and
then a wooden spoon will tex off de
peard."
There were some in the shop who re-
membered this process. which, though
it sounds like yarn, is fact. The
paste if left too long on the face will
blister it, but if scraped off at the expi-
ration of ten or twelve minutes the hair
comes with it. At this stage of the sci
entific discussion on boards and paste,
Citizen Bob Tiffany entered. Some
thing had occurred to ruffie the usual
equanimity of Citizen Tiffany's DISPOSE
ton, and he pumped into chair witt
an ominous and truculent thud.
''Halloo. Mr. Tiffany" said a pert
young dude, who was getting his hair
clipped; .'how's things?" Citizen Tif-
Iduy SiareI dI inc tOO-IreSu lnucrlOculOr.
Flows what?" he growled.
'How's thingsp" chirped the youth,
blithely. "You know what 1 mean;
how are you? how's things?"
20, mighty vet forbearing heavens,
hearken unto this idiot!' cried Mr.. Tif-
fanny, dramatically. "How's things?
What thingsP Things! A gentleman
can not walk into barber-shop and sit
quietly down to wait for shave with
out being asked by some lunatic How 8
things? What do you mean by this.
anyhow" and Citizen Tiffany marched
threateningly on the horror stricken and
now thoroughly-alarmed dude.
why. l only-you know" stam-
mered the quivering victim of the citi-
zen's wrath. II Only-well I-how's
things?"
"Now, BY the ghost of him whose re-.
vered name BEAR" acclaimed Mr.. Tiff
fanny. 'I'll make haggis of you! Yet,
hold How's things? It's too late, too
late" and holding his cane before him,
rapier fashion, Mr.. Tiffany made an ex-
it which Lawrence Barrett in his best
days might have equaled, but meyer ex
celled.-Aua California.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
An Anecdote Of Wagner.

In . notice of Wagner, recently pub
iished in Germany, the following anec-
dote is related of one of his visits to
Cologne. At the hotel where he was
staying, the best suite of rooms were
occupied by a Prussian General. who
had arrived on tour of inspection. Ono
evening while at work in his solitary
chamber, the sound of music immedi-
ately under his window struck the COM
poser's ear. 1t was doubtless a sere-
made in his honor, and he naturally felt
gratified by the fattering attention.
When it was over he opened the win
dow, and was beginning to express his
thanks to the performers in well chosen
terms when. to his surprise and confu-
sion, his harangue was interrupted by .
voice from below rudely bidding him
hold his tongue, and intimating, amid
roars of laughter from the assembled
spectators. that the compliment was not
intended for him, but for the General.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
REBUkiNG CURIOSITY.
How a Stranger in California Town Baf.
fed Impertinent Inquiries.

How q Stranger in a California Town BAT.
fed Impertinent Inquiries.
The other day a MISUNDERSTANDING
stranger appeared in Petaluma and re.
manned five whole days without the in.
habtants finding out his name, where
he came from, or his business. Ever
the bar-room loafers were baffled in
their attempts to extract some definite
information, and the entire town lay
awake O. nights worrying over the mat.
ter. At last the general agitation grew
to such pitch that the Sheriff volun.
teered to interview the stranger in be.
half of the public veal. Approaching
the taciturn visitor, as he sat in the
office of the hotel, the functionary re.
marked:
"Fine day. sir"
us, eh?" said the stranger, dubi.
ousiy.
''Going to stay long in these parts?"
"Just four days, two hours, and
thirty-one minutes longer" replied the
other, consulting his watch and time.
table.
"Then!-may Ter ahem! mayI ask
what your business is?" persisted the
Sheriff. as the crowd gathered up closer.
"Well. / don't wish it generally
known" replied the stranger, confident
ially; '.but I'm Russian Nihilist."
You don't mean it?" gasped the
official.
Fact" replied the man, mournfully
"But-er-what brings you here?" asked
the inquisitive Sheriff.
"Well, you see, was captured in st
Petersburg last month, and-you know
how severe that Government is on Mill.
lists, don't you?"
"O!-yes-of course; go onr'
"Well. they sentenced me to twenty
years in Siberia, or a week in Petaluma,
and l was fool enough to choose Peta
luna"
And with a.heavy sigh the condemned
man drifted in to dinner.-PetaLunc
Times.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
RUBENSTElN.

The Eccentricitics Of the Distin guished
Musician-His Love OF His Mother.
Rubenstein, as a player. is visible to
his admirers in three aspects-the for
mal-pathetic," as he sits down to his
instrument in the concert room, clad in
full evening dress. with a dozen or so
of miniature decorations displayed upon
his broad chest; the '.comfortable" In
dressing-gown and slippers. when he is
in his own sanctum, composing or prac-
ticing; and the conventional, as he
appears in private drawing-rooms at
evening parties. He dislikes official re-
ceptions, at which he feels himself ''on
show" and nothing annoys him more
violently than to be trotted round as a
haute nOureaute. One night, after an
experience of this latter description at
Vienna. he dropped into cafe which
he was in the habit of frequenting late
at night, looking so disheveled that one
of his friends asked him why his hair
was so rumpled and his white choker
all awry. mo wonder" he replied;
''to-night have not only been handed
around, but carved into Slices"
In the houses of his intimate friends
he prefers playing at cards to playing
on the piano. Although generally alb
rupt and overbearing in his manner, he
can, when it pleases him, be as courtly
as a lord high chamberlain. For in
stance. if he happens to be placed next
to an extremely pretty woman at table.
the taciturn. frowning lion at once be-
comes talkative and smiling. If per-
mitted to smoke a cigarette between
the courses his amiability knows no
bounds and there is nothing his fair
neighbor can ask that he will not grant
Indeed, Rubenstein without his cigar
cite is an impossible creature-the Wis
ion of distracted brain. There is only
one person living who can keep him
from smoking Turkish tobacco; his ven
cradle mother. When, at any of his
concerts in the Russian capital. he hap
pens to play few wrong notes. being
out of health or temper, it is not his
audience, or even the critics, of whom
he stands in dread. but the old lady in
question (she is nearly eighty, who
scolds him with a wealth of highly
favored vindictive until he shakes in
shoes. No matter who may be present,
she DULLES him to her hearts content.
The while he stands speechless before
her. hanging his head like a shame
stricken and repentant child. Keynote
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.


Three of the six star graduates at tho
United States Naval Academy recently
are Pennsylvanians.
-Bowdoin College will expend 800. 900
on her gymnasium, and the University
of Pennsylvania $1,000 on her new ath-
letic field.
Protestant meetings at Gratz, Aus
tria. are tolerated by the police and are
well attended, but no children under
fourteen years of age are allowed to be
present.
Sixteen years ago there were in the
State of Kansas forty-three Presbyterian
churches aud 1.453 members. Now
tire are in that State 321 churches and
1929 members. Chicago Times.
The total receipts of the Board OF
Foreign Missions of the Southern Bap
fist Church the past year were $751;
299.59, of which the women raised about
$4,000. The year closed with bal
ance of $1,000 in the treasury.-M T.
Tribune.
The cities of Boston and New York
pay more for school education. in pro-
portion to population, than any other
cities in the country. In the former the
schools receive twelve and one half per
cent. of the city's annual expenditure
Chicago Current.
I'm Teheran Persia. the tea houses
are all open to the public. and even the,
schools are exposed like the shops,
often having shops on each side. The
boys sit on their heels in rows and re-
peat the lesson after the master, APP
parently undisturbed by the continual
hubbub going on around them.
The entire missionary debt of the
Presbyterian Societies is S196.000. OF
this amount the Home Board. with the
Woman's Executive Committee, owes
&l39, 900, the Foreign Board $57 200.
The General Assembly adopted a reso-
ldtion recommending that every church
take special collection, or adopt
such other measures as shall seem best
in each case to cancel the debts. IN
Y. Examiner.
| The spirit of conservatism which is
supposed to obtain so firmly in Euro.
pean educational institutions has
| yielded to the popular demand for the
education of women to such degree
that they are now admitted to many OF
the leaulnS universities OF russia, Ter
many. France and Belgium. The influ.
ence of these examples will certainly
have great weight in America.-Cur
rent.
The organ in the Stewart Cathedral
at Garden City is, it is said. the largest
in the world, being in fact FIVE organs
in one-the great. the swell. the choir,
the solo, the echo and the pedal organs.
There are four manuals, lis speaking
stops, 1882 pipes, and 43 couplers, me-
chanical accessories and pedals. with
switch connecting the chimes with the
organ. so that both may be operated
from one key-board.-M Y Sun.
The Scotch Presbyterian Church OF
Jersey City has recently been relieved
of burdedsome debt. which threat
ened the loss of their house of worship.
Mr.. George r. Mckenzie, who paid of
the Indebtedness. in a modest commu.
nication to the church declaring his in.
tention, simply asked in return that il
should continue to be called by its old
name, ''the Scotch Presbyterian
Church" and that the music should be
that of the human voice alone.-M Y
Times
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
BRITISH BREEDING.
Picture Of English Gentlewomeu By q
High English Authority.

a Picture OF Engttsh GentloW0meu BY
High English Authority.
Englishmen to their own women ar.
both helpful and protecting. if a little
more masterful than some of those
women like; generous and giving, if al.
ways more than o little overbearing to
all creatures that are weaker than them
selves. When the ladies of party are
their private friends, or belong to their
own special family. they may rely on
being treated with consideration and
protected against the consequences Of
their own comparative weakness. When
they are strangers, and without private
claims, they will find the tables for the
most part turned, and, in the manners
of the modern young man will be as
much consideration as there is likeness
between a bear and poodle-a crab
apple and Newton pippin. They are
no more unselfish than the ordinary
foreigner, and they arc not so polite.
And If you have your ears boxed, you
might as well have it done pleasantly
as brutally. To illustrate this selfish
ness:
The other day young and very
pretty woman, with eyes of the kind
supposed to be able to melt the typical
ice, was on the point of stepping into
an omnibus where only one seat was
left. A we1-dressed, well-got-up man
of about thirty pushed her rudely aside
as he sprang up the steps and took the
vacant place. At another time, on
coming out of the theater, while the
people were waiting just inside the
door for their carriages and cabs, a
man lighted cigar and blew the smoke
into the face of lady standing there
with friend. She made a gesture of
repugnance, when the man said. ''Gen-
tlemen may smoke here" "You may
smoke here. but you can not be a gen.
tleman if you do, )" said the lady-one
of those not easily put down.
The annovances to which young
women travelling alone are often SUBJ
jected is again by no means a proof that
our politeness is intrinsic. If a lady meets
an ordinary young Englishman who does
not know her, she meets some one who
does not hold her worthy of politeness,
and who does not go out of his way to
show her any. If she be pretty he
stares at her, perhaps smiles, perhaps
speaks; if she be of no personal at
Effectiveness. and has only her woman
hood as her claim, he leaves her emphat-
ically to herself. Whatever she may be
about to do-to pass through door
way, enter railway carriage, or an
omnibus, or lift, he pushes past her,
though no one is hurried for time, and
lets her follow meekly after. The elder
men are more courteous. They retain
still certain flavor of the stately old
times when manners were part of a
gentleman's education. and politeness
was one of the points of distinction be-
tween courtier and a boor.-London
Queen.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17

ened forms were taken from the ruins
of the theater building and gently borne
by tender hands to the city's lovely
church-yard, and laid to rest in one com.
mon grave. The artists famous picture
was sold. and the proceeds used to pur-
chase monument, which rises white
and grand at the head of the last rest.
ing-place of the ill-starred pair, and
tells the tragic story of Celestine Bor
delon. the famous Opera-singer. and Luz
ciene lie Fevre, the True Hero. ~
S. WiLsOn,in Louisville COurier-JournaL
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
THE ROUEN CATHEDRAL.
Description of the Place Where Richar
CRur de Lion Is Buried.

Description of the Place Where Richard
Ceur de Lion is Buried.
The Rouen Cathedral itself, though
defaced by an elongated iron nutmeg
crater which has the impudence to call
itself cupola, is magnificent as a mass
when first seen from the corner. and
finer still when examined in detail from
the wonderful gallery of carvings
around its great gate to the long-necked
gargoyles that stretch their misshapen
heads like hungry giraffes from the
angles of its mighty tower
The interior is somewhat disappoint-
ing after the grand outside, but beneath
its smooth white pavement lies buried
many an eventful chapter of history.
Here the Lion heart" of Richard Cnur
de Lion lies cold and still forever. Here
John of Bedford, the destroyer of Joan
OF Arc. sleeps in the same earth that
hides his victim. Here Prince Henry
of England, cut off in the flower of his
youth. rests in the heart of the fair land
that England has lost forever. And
here. in the ground that his own right
hand wrested from the terrified King OF
France, molder the bones of grim old
Rolf, or Rollo, the first Duke of Nor
mandy. who, when King Charles the
Fat offered him his daughter and the
seaboard of Normandy on condition of
his becoming Christian, answered with
business-like frankness and prompts,
tude natural to the most eminent pirate
of the age:
Il take the maid, or foul or fair, a bargain
with the coast,
And for thy creed a sea kings gods are thos.
that give the most"
~ Y Times
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17
PUNGENT PARAGRAPH.

"A Keep Street old maid who keeps
four cats finds scuttleful of coal in her
backyard every morning. BY strict
economy she only buys half ton of
coal year.-Brookiyn Times.
DIR. Hammond SAYS that "love and
poetry 90 hand in hand" Shouldn't
wonder bit. 1t is well known that the
course of true love never did run
smooth, and the same is true of anna
teur poetry. Citizen.
IL wish 1 had eyes in the back of
my head" said a young lady the other
evening. "WhyP" asked devoted ad-
r,irer. breathlessly. so that / could
see what was going on without the
trouble of turning my head" You
can turn my head without any trouble"
responded the youth with gloomy
sigh.
What one letter will do
There is a word of plural number.
A foe to peace and tranquil slumbeI
Now any word you choose TO take,
BY adding IS will plural make;
But IT. You add an IS to this,
Stran le is the metamorphosisi
Plural will plural be no more,
And sweet what bitter was before.
Answer: To cares add an 49," and
!t will make it caress.
"A little. child was besieging her ia
Their to take her to visit her grandmoth-
er, who lived at distance. To get rid
of her he said: ut costs ten dollars
every time we go to see grandma. Flor
ence, and ten dollars doesn't grow on
every bush" Neither do grandmas
grow ON every bush. answered the lit
tie girl promptly, and her logic was
convincing. They went. Chicago In
terror.
-..Is there bird called .Riches?''
asked Jack of Jill. mo-" said Jill
"Whyr Because have heard you
say, Riches have wings aud thought
that if they have wings they must be
birds or ducks or geese" You little
gooser' cried Jill, as Jack started tx
run. The very next moment Jack fell
down, and Jill tumbled after him. as
the reader probably has heard once OF
twice before. Golden Days.
Uncle Nose met a very dandified
darkey. who said in very dignfied
manner: How do You enjoy dis balmy
wedder. sah?'' II don't know yer. sab.
You has me at disadvantage" re.
sponded Nose. "You cussed ole bow.
legged. .lantern-jawed gorilla, yer is da
same ole authenticated baboon yer
alters was" Nov knows yer. As
soon as yer quit talkin' like gemmaa
l knowed yer right off," And they
embraced like Butcher and Wellin gton
on the field of Waterloo. Teras !Sid-
ings.
IL asked for strawberry cream. said
the lady, eyeing the refreshment askance
You've got it, num- replied the wait
er. But what makes it look so pale?"
''Cochineals riz. mum-wav up; can't
afford to make 'em any potter for the
money" '.Mercyr' exclaimed the lady.
you don't mean to say that you color
your strawberry cream with cochineal?
At the fashionable places where am
used to going they never use anything
but anilne dye. It's expensive. Of
course. but then it is so lovely!"-- 9os-
tan TrGnscriDf.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17

"A Georgian lost society badge
some twenty years ago and the other
day saw it upon the straw bonnet of a
negro woman who was passing along
the street. The woman said she had
been given it some months before by
another negro woman, and that it had
been worn as q highly priced bonnie,
ornament-Atlanta Constellation
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1885-10-17

The whole number of visitors to the
New Orleans Exposition was 1,158, $40.
The Centennial Exposition at Philadel.
phia was attended by 1910, 800 people.
~ D. Rcayune.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-04-17

A correspondent sends this: TUESDAY
evening. April I. the friends and neigh
bors of Mr.. and Mrs. Fayrtte White
gathered ut their house to remind them
that they had been married Just fifteen
years. Although they remembered the
event distinctly. they were somewhat
surprised to see SO many friends anXio :
to celebrate this anniversary with them.
Ferrisburgh, Nergcnnes, New Haven and
MiddleburY were represented, all eager
to add to the good things prepared for
the table and to the gifts for the worthy
couple. The venerable Mr.. and Mrs.
Almon Farnsworth. Mr.. and Mrs. A. A.
Farnsworth. Mr.. and Mrs. William Fits
and Aunt Clara" were among the oder
persons present. Mr.. and Mrs S. w.
Remele were there. Mrs. Remele taking
charge of the tables with her accustomed
ease and dignity, making them inviting
and beautiful. Mrs. James Mutt had the
honor of making the brides cake and
1ully sustained her reputation. Although
MI. White is not as strong and hearty as
he was fifteen years ago, yet time and
the responsibilities of life have not left
their traces upon him or Mrs. White as
upon many others. Their daughter.
Dora, who by the way is very much like
nv hlNtiiCi uli = eau ucdl W Ildht Jllt
occasion pleasant for those present
Among the gifts we observed bank bill
presented by Mr.. Almon Farnsworth and
an envelope containing some silver. by
Mr.. and Mrs. William Fits. The crys-
tai gifts consisted of sauce dish from
Mr.. and Mrs. a. A. Farnsworth; bread
tray, Mr.. and Mrs. Stephen w. Remele !;
water pitcher, Ii. IL. Bryant; pickle cas-
tor. Mrs. Squier; hanging lamp, Mr..
and Mrs. ID. E. Taylor; sugar bowl and
pitcher. goDlets, vases, butter dishes, lace
handkerchief, salt holders and other gifts
to numerous to mention. a quiet and
pleasant party with a quiet and pleasant
couple sent the hours swiftly by and too
soon we were compelled to say good
night to the bride and groom of fifteen
years. Neighbors and friends unite in
wishing long life and happiness for Mr..
and Mrs. White"