New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-12-02

shall tho led Nan Wear Breechess
The Yuma lndians, it is stated, held
q grand council recently, and resolv.
cd to adept paataloons as an article OF
dress. This may be all right, but VIC
have an armour-plated suspicion that:
Il will turn out to be all wrong wear.
ing pantalooas 10 one OF the gifts to
which men are born. and is not an artl
that can be acquired in q day, or made
EASY by q resolution. as our copper
skinned brother will find after more
intimate acquaintance with the Pecu-
liar garment that makes white man
boss in his own wigwam- Many OF
the stalwart-minded among the pale.
faces have been trying for years to
wear the pantaloons for the whole,
country, but they are still as far from
doing so as Satan is from paradise. An
Indian may know how to live on raw
dog for months at a stretch, and he
NAV know how to have oceans OF fun
and make the Government lots OF +.
trouble by getting on his mustang and
swoopine into a frontier town like
coWbo going after whisky, but he
will discover that he cannot encase
his frost bitten legs in the broadcloth
of the suns own children and lie
around in the dirt with half as much
comfort as he can with the breaches
he was born with. The red man can
have no earthly need of pantaioons
anyhow, unless he intends to wear
them around his neck to keep mos
quitoes out of his ears, or wants to
come East and take a situation as:
scare crow in somebody's garden. in
which case they might be of some
practical utility. The Big Unison Of
the counsel fire may be wise in skull
duggery of his people. but corduroy
pantaloons will wear him out as GER
tainly as he undertakes to subjugate
them. He may know how to get more
work out of his squaw by well ap.
piled kick in the ribs now and then thar
his baldhoaded brother of the cider
press can get out of d pair of mules.
worth three hundred dollars by the
help of blacksnake wagon whip and
all the profanity he can turn loose. but
it won't do for the deluded child Of
nature to crawl into pair of overalls
and expect to do any business on the
warpath worth naming. He would be
mistaken for Il hod carrier and put to
work SO quick it would discourage him.
We believe in progress, and always adj
vocate advancement in everything ex-
cept the price OF board whenever OPP.
portunity offers, but we do Motive
cannot. believe in full blooded savage
with breeches on. 1t might do for
half breeds or folks who sell remedy
for removing ingrowing nails from the
pit of the stomach. but the moment
you swaddle up the legs of genuine
warrior with anything so unpoetic as
pair of pantaloons with patches on
the appendix to the same. he looks too
much like hired man to be- any Ion
ger interesting for dime novel mater
ial. We can stand angels in mother
hubbards, reven spooks in claw-ham.
mer coats, if we must come to it, but
so long as we have voice and room
wherein to swingit, that voice will be
raised against allowing the high-step-
ping son of the forest to look any more
like y dude than nature made him.
The next thing we know he will drop
a resolution making eye glasses and
plug hat the proper thing for full
dress on bear hunt. and if permitted
to have his own way about such mat
tiers, what security have we that he
will not debase himself still lower, and
make his prosperity ashamed of him
by calling for cigarettes and percum
cry? If the jack-rabbit of the tribe
is allowed to decide for himself In
such matters, and that, too, at time
when his Judgment was most likely.
stepped in fire. water. there is no telling
where this foolishness will stop. 9th.
er excuses of costume will be sure to
follow, and the next thing in order
will be for the squaw to bang her hair
and adopt resolution that she must
have high heeled shoes and bustle
We must draw the line somewhere,
and we might as well do it before the,
goods are ordered. By all means let
the glue colored child of the prairie.
nave whatever is right AMI proper ia
tho way of beads as dazzling as the.
patches in q crazy quilt, blankets like
Il house on fire, all the arms, ammuni.
ton. ire-water and SO on that may be
necessary to keep him on good terms
with the devil but let us not chafe
his proud spirit by taking his legs in
and out of the weather. and thus max
ing 8 frame effeminata, Or tho first
thing we know the arrow-limbed idiot
will go to work and civilize himself
and relieve the government from all
further uneasiness on his account,
thus throwing out of employment
large number OF deserving partisians.
VINO now get well paid for doing all
that roguery can devise to keep him
in savagery.-Chicago Ledger.
A Considerable Farmer.
Farmer Ito physic;an): eff You git