davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03
As our trade in Shoes is better

AS our trade in Shoes is better
ing every succeeding year, we are
forced to conclude that we must
be doing our patrons better ser
vice as we grow older and more
experienced. We have noticed
this spring a manifest increase
in sales as compared with a year
ago. We keep nearly all kinds
of low priced and medium goods
for Ladies, Misses and Children,
also for Men and Boys, and SO far
as we know can give as good re-
turns and value for your money
as you can get elsewhere.
f. B. HUMPHREYS & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

Figured Canton Floor Mattings, good,
at Ice; better. at zoe; extra. at 25c. All
new goods just opened. f. b. Hum
phreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

1900 yards Conestoga w. fine brown
yard-wide shirting muslin, soon beaches
after washing few times. Very desirable
weight. g cts. per yard. at f. b. Hum
phreys & Co
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

All wool Shetland shawls, white, blue and
cardinal for 80 cts each at T. b. Hum
phreys & Co
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03
100000

start you in work that will nj once bring you
All about the 100000 in presents with each box
Agents wanted everywhere, of either sex OF
all ages, for all the time, spare time only to
work for us at their own homes. Fortunes for
all workers absolutely assured. Don't de
lay. II. HALLET Il CO., Portland, Maine. Ally
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03
AGENTS EVERYWHERE.

Ladies' grained button shoes at 81 80
nice article, solid leather counters, no shod-
dy. E. b. Humphreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

Childrers Solar Tip Shoes, No. 8 to 10t
for s1.00 Misses or boys No. II to 2, at
sl.25, solid leather. no shoddy, inst the
thing for wear The people are learning
that we give them better value than they
get elsewhere. and our sales are far beyond
former seasons
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

42inch bleached pillow case muslin at
Toe, 46-inch at 12c. Seamless sheeting
muslin, 2! yards WIDE either bleached or
unbleached 25c. +. b. Humphreys d Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

Don't fail to see our all wool Jerseys.
We don't sell any cotton mixtures. All
the desirable styles of cut and make. f.
b Humphreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

English white granite cups and saucers,
40c. per dozen. al Il. B. Humphreys & Go.
Also wall brushes, shoe brushes, busting
and stove brushes-tie best makes at hon
est prices.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

See our As cent hip-gore corsets in white
and colored, silk embroidered and silk
stitched, the incest goods for the money
We ever had. +. b. Humphreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

Mems unIaundricd shirts, good quality,
81 cts. Boys - and go cts, at Hum
hrey's.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

New stock Of fur, wool and straw hats
all the spring styles-full assortment.
Duck hats Poe. +. b. Humphreys & Go.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

Hats and caps for mon and boys, all
kinds The only stock in town. at Hum
phreys.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-07-03

Wall papers. the only stock in town, at
less than city prices. Dark blanks at 6, 8.
and 10 cts. White backs at s. 10, 12t and
10 cts. i. b. Humphreys & Co., Woods
town, n. j.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

81 don't know. You don't give
any"
"Is pelon given awayr"
"Of course it is"
"Then pelon is a gift?"
Eyes, sir"
"What do you want to buy p
"a fsh-line. Will you give
pelon ?"
"Try me and see"
The boys selected their fish-line and
laid down dime. The grocer swept
the coin into his drawer, and gather
ing up candy, nuts, apples, oranges
and samples of everything else in his
stock that would be likely to please a
1O-year old boys fancy, he wrapped
up the package and handed it to the
astonished juvenile.
"Is that my pelon?" cried the boy,
and he opened wide his eyes.
"Yes."
"Golly, but you're a nice man, and
I'll always come here"
"Do. And tell everybody else to
come. l give more pelon than any
one in town."
The boys darted out, and half
hour afterwards the customers began
to pour in. Pounds and pounds OF
pelon were given away, and the fame
of the new store spread far and wide.
In weeks time he controlled half
the trade in town, and by literally
catering to the pelon demand and ju-
diciously marking up his goods, he
was enabled to realize handsome
profits.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14
Not Trustworthy.

| OhS uof Schtiohiah was ohOWh
into Mr.. Lamar's library.
"Mr. LAMAR" said the visitor, "do
you know lad by the name of Greg
ory Bassctt p
81 guess so,' replied Mr.. Lamar
with a smile. That's the young
man." he added, nodding toward
Gregory.
The latter was a boy about IA. He
was drawing map at wide table
near the window.
"a bright boy, should Judge"
commented the visitor, looking over
the top of his glasses. "He applied
for clerkship in my mill and refer
red me to you. His letter of applica-
tion shows he is good penman. How
is he at fgures?"
"Rapid and correct" was the re-
ply.
That's good! Honest, is he"
"Oh, yes" answered Mr.. Lamar.
"The work is not hard and he will
be rapidly promoted, should he de-
serve it. Oh! one question more,
Mr.. Lamar; is the boy trustworthy ?
81 regret to say that he is not"
was the grave reply.
"Eh" cried the visitor. "Then l
don't want him."
That ended the interview.
"Oh, uncle !" cried Gregory, burst
ing into tears.
He had set his heart upon obtain
ing the situation, and was very much
disappointed over the result.
"Gregory, l could not deceive the
gentleman" Mr.. Lamar said in a low
tone more regretful than stern. You
are not trustworthy, and it is a SER
ious failing; nay a fault, rather.
Three instances occurred within as
many weeks, which sorely tried my
patience, and cost me loss of time and
money"
"Mr. Lamar's tone changed into
one of reproach, and his face was
dark with displeasure.
81 gave you some money to deposit
in the bank" he resumed. "You
loitered until the bank was closed
and my note went to protest. One
evening told you to close the gate at
the barn. You neglected to do so.
The colt got out through the night,
fell into quarry and broke its leg.
l had TO shoot the pretty little thing,
to put an end to its suffering"
Gregory lifted his hand in humili-
ated way.
"Next l gave you letter to mail.
You loitered to watch a man with a
tame bear. The nine o'clock mail
will do, you thought. But it didn't,
being a way mail. On the following
day 1 went fifty miles to keep tie
promise l had made. The gentleman
was not there to meet me, because he
had not received my letter. / lost
my time, and lost all the benefit o.
what to me would have been profit
able transaction. 1t is not too late Il
reform; and unless you do reform
your life will be failure"
The lesson was not lost upon Greg
ory. He succeeded in getting rid o
his needless ways, and became prompt
precise, trustworthy.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

An Austin mother was very much
discouraged at the dirty condition of
her boys cap, when the children came
home from walk.
"How did you get your cap so
filthy ?" angrily asked the mother.
"a boy pulled it off my head in the
street, and threw it in the mud"
THAT'S not so, ma he threw his
cap in the mud himself" interru pied
his little sister.
"Well, I'm a boy, amt II If I'm
girl I'D like to know it."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

Heard in a prayer meeting at a
summer resort the other day: 90
Lord, now that our summer visitors
have departed, will. Thou take their
place in our hearts ?"-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

Greenland has only one newspaper.
This is probably the reason they call
it Greenland.-Graphic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

One who aspires is an aspirant, but
one who attires is not necessarily n
tyrant.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

The Eskimo has not achieved much
repute as yachtsman, but he takes
the Kayak nevertheless.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

Jawkins (who has borrowed gun
for the day.: "Do you call that
dog of yours pointer Josser :
"No, l don't, confound him. / call
him a disa pointer. London Moon
shine.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

The race horse Obermeyer has
been renamed Schoolmaster. He
ought to be able to beat his compe-
titors now.-Milwaukee Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14
WIT AND HUMOR.

Undoubtedly the most fatal age for
dogs is the saus-age.-London Funny
Folks.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

Ethelinda-at the machinery hall {:
"Charles, what is a spinning mule ?"
Charles "Dunno my love. Per-
haps cross between a donkey engine
and clothes horse.-London Funny
Folks.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

Short.sighted old gentleman to Of
fetal with police van; eli! con-
ductor; room for one inside ?"-Lon-
don Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

NO." says the London Funny
Folks, "the mountain braes are not
nearly so irritating as those of the
donkeys."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

MA, MICH, WEDNEi
WIT AND HUM0R.
Undoubtedly the most fatal age for
dogs is the saus-age.-London Funny
Folks.
One who aspires is an aspirant, but
one who attires is not necessarily n
tyrant.-Ex.
Greenland has only one newspaper.
This is probably the reason they call
it Greenland.-Graphic.
The Eskimo has not achieved much
repute as yachtsman, but he takes
the Kayak nevertheless.-Ex.
Short-sighted old gentleman to Of
fetal with police van: "Hi! con-
ductor; room for one inside ?"-Lon-
don Fun.
"No," says the London Funny
Folks, "the mountain braes are not
nearly so irritating as those of the
donkeys'."
Teacher: Tommy, define celer-
ity." Tommy: "It's what man
uses to get away from wasp with" /"
Marathon Independent.
The race horse Obermeyer has
been renamed Schoolmaster. He
ought to be able to beat his compe-
titors now.-Milwaukee Sun.
Heard in prayer meeting at a
summer resort the other day: 90
Lord, now that our summer visitors
have departed, will. Thou take their
place in our hearts ?"-Ex.
Jawkins (who has borrowed a gun
for the day.: "Do you call that
dog of yours pointer?" Josser:
"No, l don't, confound him. / call
him disa pointer. r."-London Moon
shine.
Ethelinda-at the machinery hall
Charles, what is spinning mule ?"
Charles "Dunno my love. Per-
haps cross between donkey engine
and clothes horse.-London Funny
Folks.
The Marquis Of Lorne lately put
some whitefish into certain ponds in
the island of Null. 1t was very kind
of the Marquis, but surely the most
Appropriate fish to use in connection
would be the mullet.-London Fun.
Fred: "Now Sally, if I give you
five apples, and you eat two, how
many will you bave?"
Sally: Five"
Fred: "Why, no, Sally. If you
eat two you will have three" Sally:
"Yes, l shall. I'll have free in my
hands and two in my tummic. Life.
A school board recently asked the
following questions of a little girl:
"What is the plural of man?"
"Men."
"Very well and what is the plural
of child ?"
Twins" Immediately replied the
little girl.-Ex.
"And dearest Augustus, when we
are married you will give me all the
pin money | want, won't you, dar-
ling ?" "Yes, duckie, you shall buy
all tho pins you can use" ooh,
deary, that's so nice of you. There's
a beautiful diamond pin at the jewel
er's that I've wanted for ever so long"
Troy Times.
----------------
"What are the elements ?" asked
Texas teacher of pupil.
"Air, fire, water, and whisky"
"Why do you call whisky one of
the elements ?"
Because when pa comes home full
of whisky, ma says he is in his ele.
ment."
"There is one element you have
omitted entirely. What other great
element is there besides fire, air, and
water?'
II dunno"
"Why, what do you stand on?"
"Stockings." Texas Siftings.
Attorney: "Miss Someage, you
are the plaintiff in this suit for breach
of promise, / believer
eyes, sir"
"And Mr.. Squint, here, Is the de-
fendant2"
eyes, sir"
"Well, Miss Someage, you may tell
the court how and when he promised
to make you his wife"
at was on the 3rd of September
last, sir. l went to his photograph
gallery and asked him if he would
take me, and he said he would. >
Cb;caoo News
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

Teacher: Tommy, define celer-
ity." Tommy: "It's what man
uses to get away from wasp with" /"
Marathon Independent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

Flipkins came down to the club
last night with great problem weigh
ing on his mind.
"If / should stand on my head"
said he, coming up to the boys with
the air of man who has got a poser
eff stand on my head the blood
all rushes into my head, don't it ?"
No one ventured to contradict him.
"Now," continued he triumphantly,
"when / stand on my feet, why don't
the blood all rush into my feet?"
Because replied Miss Coshan-
mans brother, because Flipkins,
your feet are not empty"
The beys all laughed, but Flipkins
said he couldn't see any joke.-Lynn
Union.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14
Advertising Rates.

=, Businoss Cards. one year. one dollar for s-sp
Lscsa NssaaS ssn sssts par hns sz esAA izaa
49,.
Prices and FERNS aIIKe to all.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-10-14

The Marquis Of Lorne lately put
some whitefish into certain ponds in
the island of Null. 1t was very kind
of the Marquis, but surely the most
Appropriate fish to use in connection
would be the mullet.-London Fun.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14

GenI. To0mbs Seriously III.
Inc following spe cIals are published
to day.
WASHINGTON, Ga. Dec. 14-Genl.
Ioombs remains critically i'll. He is
scarcely able to swallow milk punches.
Doctor MullIgan at ten O'Clock to nirht
furnishes the following: 1 have Just
left Gen. Toombs. His temperature
is normal, pulse 107 and his heart very
ieebie. He is perfectly prostrated and
unable to raise his head without assis.
fance. For the last 48 hours he has
failed very rapidly and in my opinion
the end will come soon.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14
Snow Storm .

CHICAGO Ill. Dec, 14.-Dispatches
from Oentralia, Illinois and Southern
Wisconsin, and Michigan, indicate
that heavy snow storm of saturdaS y
continued until late hour sundaS :
night, from nine to fourteen inches
having fallen in different localities be.
lore i's cessations. Trains arereportetl
badly delayed In some sections. The
fall ceased in this city about midnight
but commenced again at an early hour
this morning.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14
The Baltic Canal.

BERLIN, Dec. 14.-The Baltic Canal
will accommodate the largest vessels.
1t is estimate that $4,000 vessels will
pass through yearly. There will be q
saving of q hours In going from Lon-
don to Baltic ports. The dues will be
about nine pence per ton and the work
will be- finished In seven years.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14
Litigation Ended.

NATION, ILL.,, Dec. 14.-After eight
years Of litigation, Ellis w. Hays and
Daniel D. Hays of this county, have
won their suit, brought against the
Massachusetts Life Insurance Company
for 5000 and accrued interests.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14
Relief from Taxes.

MANDER, Dak., Dec. 14.-A dbeeidl
meeting of the city Council has pasDeti
resolution praying Congress, to ens6t
such laws as will afford RELIEF In the
matter of taxation of railroad huds.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14

Chess.

NHW 4ORkJ Dec. III. HI. Seuker.
tort OF London, the champion chess
player of the world, arrived here bv
the steamer Etruria yesterday. He
comes to play series of games, with
william Steinitz, the champion Of
America and ex-champion of the world.
The contest will begin the first week in
January and will continue until either
player has won four games, after which
tney Will visit st. Louis and play until
three or 4 games are won and
the finish will be in New Orleans.
Ine game will end by the winner Of
the hrst ten games. Only games are
to be played each week and moves
must be on n average of Is per hour
Snubbed.
The Painters Progressive Union. re-
ported to the Central Labor Union
yesterday, that it had sent three fits
Boycotting Fifth Avenue Hotel Circn.
lars to john Sherman of Ohio, Secre.
tary OF War, Endicott and Senator
Warner Miller and that these citizens
persist in putting up at the hotel. Com
mittees sent cards to each of the three
at the hotel but the cards were returned
with word that the citizens did not
know the gentlemen signing the cards
Base Ball.
Mr.. D. Mcknight, President of the
American Baseball Association saws:
The Metropolitans will not remain ia |
the Association. Orr and Roseman ara
both signed by the Brooklyn manage
ment and will play there.
Louisville wanted them; but man.
ager Hart, who came here last Wed.
nesday, expressly to sign these two
players, got left.
Louisville is weak at first base and
In the left field and had Hart secured
Orr and Roseman he would have had
the strongest nine in the Association.
He will now try to get Joe Strat or
McQuerry of Detroit.
'~"~>-A.
Dead.
NEW YORK, Dec, 14.-Patrick
O'Ruke, who for flfty.fours years has
been connected with the Tribnne, died
of heart disease yesterday morning,
aged II. He became associated with
Horace Greedy on the Log Cabin in
1910, and he assisted In issuing the first
number of the Tribune In 1641.
His death leaves Thos. N. Rocker
the sole survivor Of the original pro-
prietors now engaged on the Tribune.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14
More Stakes

CHICAGO, Dec. 14.-The Wash IhQ-
ton Park Club, will, within few dsys,
advertise sixteen more stakes to close
January 18th, next, to be run for al
the summer meeting next year.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14
Shipments of SuRnr.

HALIFAX, N. s., Dec. Winter
shipments ofsugar which wa krmer.
~ landed in Halifax and sei Mon.
treal arc now ordered to BosS and
New York.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14


LONDON, Dec. 14.-The News this
morning says: Instead of coveting the
presence Of Parnellites in London, the
one thing desired, is, that they will
take themselves about their business in
Dublin. ThAaews believes that Lord
Salisbury q posed to a Conference
OF the leaders. Perhaps the best beal !
ming would be to leave ths. Nmperlaf
parliament untouched sndT establish a
purely Irish Parliament to deal with
Irish affairs, with a Limitation to it's
authority as a safeguard against any
legislation violating the rights of in
dividualitiesalites of destructive of
social order.
The Daily telegraph., 1885-12-14
Foreign Money Orders.

WASHINGTON, Dec. 14.-The Post
master General has made an order f3x.
Ing fees on International money orders
on and after the 10Th of next January.
as follows: For sums not exceedinv
$40, 10 cents; over $40 and not exceed.
ing $40, 20 cents; over 500 and not ex-
ceeding $50, 80 cents; over $50 and not
exceeding $40, 40 cents; over $40 and
not exceeding $50, so cents. This is a
reduction OF one-third of the present
rates paid by remitters for such orders
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1885-05-07
Our Vanishing Walnut.

A late dispatch from Loekport says:
Great quantities of black walnut timber
have been passing east from points in
Ohio, Indiana and Iowa for some weeks
past. The unusual shipments have at
tracted attention from lumber dealers,
and it is learned that q company Of Eng
liSh capitalists, with whom cOmbina-
ton Of lumbermen in Indiana are Coop
Grating, have been for year or more
quietly getting possession of all the black
walnut it has been possible to buy, and
are now sending it TO Europe. The syn
dictate has buyers cut wherever there is
tree to be had. When their systematic
stripping of the lumber began the farm
ers did not fully understand its object.
and in a majority of cases disposed Of
magnificent tracts of trees far below
their value. When they did learn they
more than doubled on the prices they
had been asking for their trees. About
all the remaining walnut forests ia In
diana are in Bartholomew and Jennings
counties, while Ohio has been almost en-.
tirely stripped Of them. IF the original
forests of these two states were standing
to-day" said buyer, their valuation
would DO many times greater than are
the farms which they were sacrificed to
improve. In making their farms the
settlers in these states destroyed millions
and millions of dollars worth of black
walnut. Miles and miles Of fence are
laid with black walnut rails.
zone old farmer says that only thirty
years ago he began making his farm,
and that he had worked eight years in
clearing it of the walnut timber, eighty
acres of which he burned up. After thir-
ty years of cultivation the farm is WORTH
$4,000. If it had its walnut trees back
1T would be worth more than 100000.
This farmer is only one among thous-
ands who for years girdled. cut and burn
ed the great forests they found occupy
ing the land. The company represent
have purchased at nominal prices lum-
Der that will net them not less than $5,-
100000"
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1885-05-07
"Old Hickory"

General Jackson was known among
the soldiers who had served under him
as "Old Hickory" a s0briuuet given him
during the Creek war. His brigade was
making a forced march without baggage
or tents, to surprise the Indians in one
of their villages, and were for several
days and nights exposed to the peltings
of March storm, the rain freezing rs it
fell. General Jackson got severe cold
but did not complain, as he tried to sleep
in muddy bottom among his half
frozen soldiers. Captain Allen and his
brother John cut down stout hickory
tree, peeled off the bark and made COW
ering for the General, who was with diff
ficulty persuaded to crawl into it. The
next morning drunken citizen entered
the camp, and seeing the tent kicked 1t
over. As Jackson crawled from the
ruins the topper cried: Hello, Old HEX
DRY, come out of your bark and jine MS
in a drinkw Theneef0rth the General
was known in camp as "0ld Hickory"
and when he was talked of as n Presi-
Dental candidate the nickname was
adopted by his supporters. The liberty
tree of the revolution was revived in
the hickory tree" planted at every
country cross roads and village by the
enthusiastic Democrats. while they sang:
Freeman, cheer the hickory tree,
Long its boughs have sheltered thee.
Boston Budget.
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1885-05-07
Tho Marriage Tie.

There is ne marriage in heaven; nsith-
or is there any heaven in marriage
Disappointed DiSrdei.
War news has not much interest to a
man who has been married ten years
and joined the club six months after
marriage. 1t ia too tame-Pittsburq
Chronicle Telegraph,
When in convention two factions
are go eveaIy balanced that neither one
nor the other boss things it is called q
tie. Hence the term marriage tie."-
Philadelphia Call.
A New Jersey man broke up house
keeping and went to an hotel to board
In order that his wife might enjoy roll
ler-skating to her hearts content. 0pin-
ion is divided on the question whether
he loves her or wants her to break her
neck. -Philadelpia Call.
As he was lacking up the Dowery the
other evening he saw In restaurant
window the sign, take home stew in
box" but he said he didn't think 1t
would be necessary, as he expected to
find that waiting for him when he got
home. And he did.-Pack.