The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1885-01-30
THE MATRIMONIAL MOOSE.
STORIES OF UNUSUAL WEDDING oc :
CURREHCE5
Marrying the 7Inn who MISSED the
Targct-TOOk the Conductor An
Accommodating Minister. ETC.

Marrying the Nan who MISSED the
Targct-TOOk the Conductor An
Accommodating Minister, Etc.
All the back counties have not been
heard from, but they don't need to be so
far as activity and variety in the matri-
monial market are concerned. There
is the daily elopemcnt with the coach
man to begin WITH and weddings of
every sort calculated to suit the taste of
everybody.
A young woman in Central New York
has just married man she didn't mean
to marry. 1t came about very much as
in the case of the young woman at sea
who was plagued almost to death by
three lovers. She appealed to the ships
captain, and he advised her to jump into
the water and marry the one who came to
her rescue. She did so, and two jumped
after her She was just rs much puzzled rs
ever when the captain settled it by ad.
vising her to "take the dry one" The
New ork young woman was in like
dilemma, or rather trilemma, and agreed
to marry the one who would hit the
center of the target. Two of them
touched the "bull's eye" whereupon
she turned about and married the one
who missed.
a Georgia girl made an appointment
with her lover to meet her at the railroad
station and elope with her. She was
there promptly on time. SO was the
train. But IN place of the lover came
messenger FROM him, to the effect that
he was afraid to run away with her.
The indignant girl at once made ar
engagements with the conductor, who
carried her off in his train and married
her at the end of his "run."
Another Georgia girl. muck under age
ran of with her lover, but the clergyman
refused to unite them on account of the
penalty for marrying a minor. No time
was to be lost as the angry father and
brother were on their tracks. The quick
witted girl Immediately proposed an adj
iournmcnt to field about half mile
away, where three counties joined, and
SO at midnight, with his feet astride of
the bOundries; so as to confuse the jur-
isdiction of the counties, the accommo-
dating clergymen, who wanted his fec
made them one.
A plump and pretty hired girl out in
Colorado, having read all about the
coachmen's weddings passed herself off
on the newly-hired coachman as the
daughter of the house. lie was cap
tured at once, stood under her window
and received her in his arms ran away
and got married. Their employer fol-
lowed them to find out what had be-
come OF some harness. When the girl
saw him she threw herself at him crying:
My father! My father!" "What.
said the surprised man. What's
all this2 l want my harness" The
coaChman has a wife whom he will dis
pose Of on the most favorable terms.
Not so amusing was a wedding in
Kentucky, where some tobacco growers
were invited to be present and who came
to it drunk. The fun began by kicking
over "A card table and ended after two or
three had been shot or stabbed. In Mis-
souri, bride and groom were about to
undergo the ceremony when the hus-
band of one of the guests came in, the
worse for liquor, and ordered her home.
She was about complying, but her hus-
band, evidently not having got as much
"lun' out of the affair as he thought it
capable of yielding, began to abuse the
company. The gentleman of the house
asked him to dcSist. This impertinent
Interference with his amusement pro-
voked him into drawing a pistol and
shooting the gentleman. The wounded
man was carried into the next room,
where his wife lay very i'll. She at once
went into commissions and both lives
were dcspaired Of These little prelimi-
naries settled, the wedding ceremony
went on, but they drew the line some
where, and after that the guests went
away leaving the feast untouched.
After wedding in Ulster county, New
York, some of the people INDUCED in
what is known as an cold fashioned
skimelton." 1t was O'clock, and the
marriage ceremony was not finished
when crowd outside blew their horns,
fired shot guns and threw stones on the
roof The house was riddlcd with buck
shot, cannon were fired, a musket was
pointed at the head of the brides father,
the bride was insulted and the road filled
up with heavy timber which the bride
groom had to 20 out and cut away with
an AK before the minister could 90 home.
The genial souls who made things so
lively for the Young couple and welcomed
them so heartily to the ranks of the
blessed, were tried for it, But as their
performance was decided to be only IAN
ordinary country skimelton, " they were
acquitted by a jury Of their country
men.
At Tennessee wedding the bride was
not only pretty well advanced in years
but deaf at that Her new husband
kissed her so loud and long after the
ceremony that something gave way" in
side her head, and she heard for the first
time in thirty years. She recovered so
completely that she was able to hear the
fiddle and danced all night to celebrate
her recovery. 1t made her happier than
her marriage -DetroH Fire Press.