The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-06-04
COMING TO TOWN.
E&a.
Arp Pays His Old Friends. a. Visit.

Arp Pays His Old Friends. Visit.
A man can live in the country until he
gets clear behind the age, and when ne
goes to big city like Atlanta or New
York, he don't know how to behave him
self with becoming dignity. There are
new folks and new ways and new methods.
visited Atlanta the other day for the
first time in months, and I am afraid 1
never will catch up. inquired for a
friend and was told be was on the fifth
floor of the Fitten building. So [ went
there and climbed up all the stairs, and
my knees were weak AMI shaky by the
time got to his room, and was SO tired
I could hardly say "howdy," and he
asked nae why didn't take the elevator.
Well, 1 dideut know there was one nor
how to find it. So when I got through
my business he showed me the thing, but
it all look'd so curious 1 went back the
way came up and was thankful. Then
went over to the Constitution Office to
give Joe. Harris a pair of rabbit ears,
Texas rabbit ears, and asked where |
would find Joe. and Mr.. Hemphill cut
his words off short, as he said "fourth
floor, elevator" So I poked around in
the hall and was about to give it up
when I saw the thing coming down with
man in it, and as he got out had sense
enough to get in, and just then the house
com enced going down, down, down
until it struck bottom, and was let out
and commenced hunting around for Har.
ris. I,fouud him hid away up there, and
he poked out his off.hanl and said
"howdy," and kept his seat like he was
glued to it. I think he is fastened to it
somehow, and have since heard it was
the rule Of the company that no editor is
to give up his seat under any pretext, for
if they gave it up to every caller they
would never have time to write anything,
and SO the paper wouldn't como out in
the morning. There was but one chair
in the room, and Harris was fastened to
that. l told him I was awful tired, and
he motioned me to seat on the waste
basket. A basket is the good thing to
sit in or set in, but it is the poorest thing
to sit on ever tried. I endeavored to
enjoy it for about two minutes and then
retired in good order, which, of course
was what was expected. Next I visited
Grady's room and be, too, was glued to
chair. How they get loose when they 60
to dinner I don't know, but think those
chairs have patent fixing underneath,
and when dinner time comes, then Evan
Howell, the president, touches wire and
that loosens up the boys all over the
house. Evan keeps q lot of chairs in
his room for he is the entertainer and is
expected to keep up the social relations.
He goes up on the elevator but always
slides down Oh the stair railing for exer-
else. Everything seems to be reduced to
system about that building.
Next I wanted to see friend on the
other side of town, and when / inquired
where could find him they told me to
use the telephone, aud pointed it out. 1
slipped up cautiously on the thing and
was about to whisper in the little trumpet
fixing when likely lad laughed at me,
and told me to put that to my ear and to
talk through the keyhole, Well, gave
it up in despair aud asked him to talk
for me, which he did very politely, and
never charged me cent. Well, it saved
me long walk in the rain, and my time
was precious, and so I hurried down to
bank to get little ten dollar check
cashed and the bank man was young and
pretty and dident know me, and said I
would have to be identified. saw two
or three more handsome young uns in
there, and looked straight at them all,
but they made no sign, and so l went to
another bank, and poked the check
through little hole with glass shelf,
and the young man looked at it and
motioned me to git further. So I went
to the next hole, and another young man
looked at it and motioned me to go
around the corner. So I tried the: next
one, and he motioned me further on, and
so I kept going until had tried them all
and got to the last one. He was young
and pretty too, just like all the others,
and be looked at the check on both sides,
and then looked at me and handed the
paper back, and said: "Don't know
you. You must get somebody to identify
you" With humility and sadness /
started out in the rain to find some old
man, DR.. Joe Thompson, or Judge Ezzard
or Uncle Jack Neal-some of my sort of
folks-some patriarch of age and infrm.
ity, who has not forgotten the friends Of
his youth, and as l was about to make
my exit I heard q familiar voice calling
me by name, and he said: ''Major,
major, come back here, / know you," and
so found friend and got my money /;
but it all reminded me of fact, solemn
fact, and that is, the young men are run.
ming the machine now, and We old folks
are passing away.
Then I went to one of Atlanta's great
big stores to get Mrs. Arp some shoes
number 2 shoes. Mrs. Arp used to wear
one and a half, but she has got more
common sense now and wears two's, and
while I was waiting to be waited on 8
fellow kept looking at me pretty hard,
and every time looked around he was
watching me. So I concluded he was
the detective that was kept in that store
and stood farther back from the coun-
ter. Pretty soon friend came up and
recognized me and then the detective
went off about his business. I bought
beautiful pair of kid gloves and shoes for
FIVE dollars, for you see Mrs. Arp's birth
day is close at hand and if could have
found anything nicer in the way Of shoes
1 would have bought them. The clerk
showed me some slippers and said they
were selling them at Eve cents a pair. I
thought he was joking and told him to
put me up o thousand pair and he backed
right down and said they didn't have
that many. Well I bought one pair
anyhow and that shows how little I think
of myself. Five dollars for shoes for
Mrs. Arp and five cents for shoes for me-.
Well, that is just about the difference,
for she is hundred times more deserv.
ing than am.
Well, in due time left the great city
and have come home, where there are no
elevators nyf telephones nor ironclad
banks. Where I can sit in NY piazza
and rest my weary feet upon my banisters
and holler hoWdy 10 the nabors as thew