Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-02-07
4 New Crime Under Tie Sun.

Buck Short township felt that the !
time when they were to have an
able and upright administration of
judicial affairs had arrived. Old
Brumley had never opened law
book; therefore he was regarded as
honest. He had never hesitated
to take off his coat and fight the
best man in the neighborhood
therefore he was considered able.
He had never been backward in
denouncing his enemies; conse'
quently he was regarded as a citi-
zen of wisdom. With these accom-
plishments, his election, in the
expressive parlance of politics, was
a "walk over" Shortly after
Brumley took his seat on the red
oak woolsack, a man named Billy
Malone was arrested for stealing a
grindstone.
"This here is a mighty import
ant case" said the magistrate,
when the culprit had been arraign-
ed before court. In lookin' over
these here law books, / don't find
no mention of grindstones. 1t
was big oversight in our legls-
lature not to put down grindstones
in the books, fur it mout have
been knowed that some blamed
rascal in this part o. the State was
a goin' to steal one. Folks in this
here part O. the country, let me
tell you, will steal anything. Wa'al
in the absence O. any statuary
brain on the subjeck, reckon I'll
make this here charge IMAM
slaughter in the first degree.
"Your honor" said a lawyer,
"that would be impossible"
"Wood it ?" Wa'al, l jes show
you I'm running this here court. "
"Your honor"
! Call me judge If you please"
: "Well, judge, there is no such
: thing as man slaughter in the first
degree.
"Ain't thar? Well, I'll jes show
\ you I'm runnin' this here court
Prisoner at the bar, have longed
fur a opportunity o. teachin' a les
son to the risin' generation. You
have given me that chance. l DOM
delight in seein' man fall from
3 grace, but when he does fall, thai
, amt nothin' that pleases me SC
much as to tanglc my hand in thu
J, ruffles o. his calico shirt. Man
4 slaughter is mighty seriou:
charge, young fcller.'
II amt slaughtered no man, yit
: jedge."
a "Shet your mouth, in,putent vi
olater o. the sacred law o. the land
|. No matter what YOU done, ] say
= was manslaughter in the fust de
gree, an when q man disputes IN.
word, wy he'd better wush tina
= his bones was made Outen 1njul
" rubber an his back kivered wit
the skin o. yalligator. Youn
outrager o. the principles o. civil
d cation, for this great crime of man
e slaughter in the first degree, sen
is tence you to be hung next Friday.
It Judge" exclaimed the lawyer
d springing to his feet, "this pro
7, ceeding is impossible,
"Is it Wa'al, I'll show you Pr
% runnin' this court. When you g
% to be a jedge, l won't come roun
,e tellin' you what you can do an
,e what you can't"
e. "Great Caesar, judge, such
n course as you are taking is vic
;, lation of the State Constitution. :"
"Is it? Wa'al, I'll just repes
the State Constitution right here
+ This Teller oughter be hung, an
J. l had catched him ten days ago
B. whuther or not he had Commute
r manslaughter in the fust degree
r stole a grindstone in the secon'
H. which is the same, / would ha,
's sentenced him to be hung. M
u Constable, take charge O. this mai
u, an see that he is hung up in r
VI spectacle manner. Any lawy
what don't wanter be sarved in IL
ct same way had better keep h
n mouth shet. I'm runnin' tn