The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-05-31

sf our ladies' hose" We refuse to be de.
n orsliztd by any suoh exhibitions
'oa Monday last the vassar college girls
took OBJ creations OF tie sun" Well, IL isa
dark day >hen the z rls don't take observs-
lions 2f the son-if they set the opportunity.
ore Jon hasa female dsatis! who lately gave
bsnb some male patient an overdose OF
ether, az q married him b. fore be had folly
recovered bic senses. Getting teeth pulled Is
had enough without having any extra hor.
iors tucked on 10 the operation.
Ny dear" said Mr.. Ferguson, as he laid
dovn,his book, lit fays here that whisky
drir hug nafdens the brain" Never mind.
my dfar.' vas her sarcastic reply, you
retda't omit drinking on that account"
And now Ferguson wonders what she
meant
Professor Langley. the astronomer, is said
to be:the most btssfui man. And yet we
have no doubt he will Sit for hours looking
1t Vsnus through telescope, long after the
decent people are aoed aud a,leep. Tha. Is
always the way with these bsshful men,
Lowell Ciuzsn.
.'Are your coats padded? asktd Angelina,
~ her bead reposed gracefully on Williams
manly breast. M. Why do You ask ~ he
inquired fondly. because they are so much
softer than Martins coats. or Johns either,
for that matter" The engagement was
broken.--The Rambler.
Sam Jones was once conducting a revival
In Atlanta. For full week he addressed
himfelf 10 the members oil the church. At
last one OF the stewards suggested tina. he
had better begin to pitch into the sinners.
mo, sir" said Sam. II want 10 get the
Church good stirred up fret never kill
hogs TIL I've got my water hot"
Rather Prematurs.-"whyh have they put
you In jail again 2' asked an Austin philan.
tbropiss 81 Jim Webster, who Was playing
dow. because l had the luck to lad
Colonel Yer gers WATCH" That's no crime,
to ind O watch" Yes, but you see, boss.
dun found II before he lost it."-rexss sift-
irgs
A smart Colonel OF an Irlsh militia reg
ment Was lately found fault with by the Ia.
speeding General for the Indifferent shoot.
irg of his regiment. The Colonel piled:
''6ir must explain that stand before you
In two postions-one On Colonel OF the regl.
ment and the other as irish landlord. As
Tar as am concerned | consider the shooting
good enough."-Troy Times
"But can't cook IL In that way, Henry;
don't know how" Then why don't You
cant; always spoil IT," plague take a
woman anyhow; abe can't never do any.
thing body v.rts doae. A man can do
anything" IN, he can't. Ill tell you
what man can't do" What's THAR" He
can minu Ms own buslne63.'
Frat Elderly Maidsn-"How do you like
thu new minisltsr~ Sec md Elderly Maiden
10, e7er 90 much. His sermons are so
bsautifr lily worded. Don't you like him?'
Fint u M.-"Not very we'll; his wniskers
are 80 strsegly, you Know, and he doesn' I
wear any mustache." Second X. MI was
20 interested In his sermon didn, notice
aS Single re %sS Fy.! 'os WA" M 'nsy SAY ~
Did you not notice what splendid eyes he
bad? He seems to be jus. the man we want;
don't you think so?"
"IIow isl y, Uncle Rstus," said q gentle.
man 10 an old darkey, "that you never ar.
-'scy Aren't you IN sdmirer OF the softer
N1i' Il fol or ousl wnnce bout or gal,
sab; yeshs an yeahs ago. Sam Jackson an
myssf We bof dubbed de same gal We wah
bot boun' ter git dab. aud dc business cli-
msxa;ed In or duel. We bal wan or trlhsi
nahvous. al sted CT me hiltin' Sam or Sam
hittin' ne, We brought down valuable
niue dat wsh stsEdln neah de fence"
And did you fire again. asked the gentle.
man, very much interested. mo. sab, dat
wah very valleybls mule, bass. an We bot
got kinder sksart like. 81 we entered into
an amsrieabls prearrangsmsnt." "How did
you settle itY' sam tux de gal an, gresd
TO pay TO de mule. an haint neb Der luobsd
ssnce."
Four candidates for The pos.mAstsrshlp OF
Richmond were urged by ~ many deiexa.
tions OF Influential Virgiuisns, aud the n gth
man rot the Office. Which reminds us OF
the inrbriated sogar planter In New Orleans,
who, seeing On Italian count playing shand.
organ. With displayed upon its upper sur.
face . number Of puppets. one OF which held
forth plate, accepting this AZ challenge to
q novel game OF chance. and deposited an
eagle on the plate. This the orgsn.grlnder,
after play Ing few bars, put into his pocket.
The planter deposited another piece. Same
result. And third. and q fourth, and q
fith. And thee he staggered solemniy away.
remafking "Ish the first time ever backed
sgin' game where all the pershen'sge wash
In favor Of the dsaierl'-N. o. PicAyune.
Coloaei J. Annoy Knox. OF Texas slftlngs,
when asked what he considered the best Dit
OF American humor. answered promptly.
"A lite thing that Bill Nys wrote. I CON
elder IL the best because Is leaves - much 90
Ne Imagination. A humorous thing should
- ouReootivo. This ~ what Nye wrote:
foseFdsy We the drst day OF January.