The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-10
Mrs. Magoogin.
lSt. Louis Critic1

SsI
 "Anah my, Mrs. McGlaggerty," said the Irish widow, holding up her two hands in manner mildly expressive of her con- demnation of something. But did ye ever hear the loikes ?"
 "The loikes of what?" asked the neighbor.
 "Av the ways the young gerls are carryin' on nowadays" answered Mrs. Magoogin. "Oh, musha, but it's the shipilt craythers they are altogither, Mrs. McGlaggerty, wid their low-necked dhresses and their polly-vso-frogs-legs- the divil pull the tongues out av thin as aff dacint clothes an the English langwidge wasn't good enough for thim. Faix'n 1t makes me poor ould hart ache fwhin think av the fools the faymale sex av the prisent toime makes av thim- selves. Nayther ould shtoyIe av clothes nor their own native spaich nor their own couuthry is gud enough for the throllops amy longer, but they musht have their twoi-loights-bad sesht to thim-an' their foine talk from France, fwhere the head divil an all his imps have their head quarthers. Nayther are the husseys satisfoied wil this aither, but they runs acrass the say, pullin' their poor ould fathers and mathers afther thi D maxim monkeys av thim, an be the same token. sphendin' their money as freely as aff it was wather. An fwhat does they be afther doin' fwhin they put feet on the other side, but go to smashin' counts an barons, an fwhat's tin toimes worse. marvin the villains an saddlin' the family wid their debts. Sure an here's a specimint fur ye in Evy Mackey, the daughter ay the man that made fortune sellin' bananys, they tells me. Fwhat does me foine little Evy do afther gettin' a dacint raisin' an grand eddication ? Fwhoy she shpint tin years in pla.ther Paris thrainin' her vice an parnin' to powdher her face an shpake Frinch, an- til now she polly-voos loike a curly- headed barber wid the catarrh. Fwhat does she do afther all that, but marry an Eyetalyan prince that hasn't ha'p'orth. an beyant his fathers name doesn't own as mooch as ye moight put in yer eye. It's foine how-do-ye-do, isn't it, Mrs. McGlaggerty, fwhin an American gerl wid fortune has to go to Etally to foind herself husband, an thin take wan as poor as Jobs turkey was afore be ait it for his Christmas dinner? Sure an afr my Arethoosy was to go to Yurrup an do thing loike that-bring home a pinniless ould pauper sv an organ- grindin' Choinyman, to be livin' aff tn airnin's av a dacint widdy-I'd breck uv'fy bone in her body an throw the both av thim out av the dure. There's plinty av foine, able young min in Ameriky to make husbands for the best gerls in the land, an uv'ry toime hear av Miss This an Miss That marvin a rich further, faix'n wishes the rich fur riner J'y av his bargain, an congratylate the young min at home upon the gud fortune in havin' eschaped from settin' ! wife that was in no way worthy av thim. Evy Mackey may be a daisy, an her father be millionaire, Mrs. McGlagg- erty, but wid all their beauty an their mooney they're not bit betther than the | Magoogins, aff do say it mesilf, an be | heavens affmy daughther Arethoosy uver marries anybody, ye can bet yer loife, me frind, it'll be somebody this soide av the wather that's able to support her, or my maiden names not Berdie. That's | all"