The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-02-26
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

n CluU uOuSc-1 pOllCC SCdtlOu
A nap is very refreshing to man. Yes,
and it would be very refreshing to some
coats Hauheye.
When clothespins are only cent
dozen there is no excuse for snoring in
church. York Journal.
A woman in some States cannot sue
and be sued, but she can complain and
be courted.-Neeo York Neaos.
What is the best covering for the head2
demands Western journal. Hair isn't
bad.-Binghamton Republican.
1t is now said that roller skating is
dangerous. Not if the rink floor is suf.
fciently cushioned. d.--Harttord Post.
"Hannah More,' saysa writer, ''was
good woman; but she had no corns."
That's no excuse for writing poetry
Boston Globe.
A woman in Ohio gave $1,000 to a
faith cure doctor, who at once disap-
peared. She was curcd.-of her faith
Ne,o York Tribune.
Be pleasant and kind to those around
you. The man who stirs his cup with
an icicle spoils the tea and chills his
own fingers. .-LoaceU Courier
"Papa's pants will soon fit brother is
the first line of a new song, and yet it is
said that there is no literary or musical
genius in this country. y.-CaN.
A little skate,
A little fall,
A broken pate,
Laid up-that's all
Free Press.
THE principal seasons illustrated at the
roller skating rink are "fall" and
provoke are summery. ry.-Norristoun Her.
aid.
Lady to hackman-"How much did
you say have to pay?" Zone dollar"
ssWhat's your number?" ''Fifty cents,
you mean, stingy old fraud. .--1'erus Sitt-
ings.
sDon't be afraid !" said a snob to a
German laborer "Sit down and make
Yourself my equal" 81 would haff to
blow my brains out" was the reply of
the Teuton.
Jules Levy franklysaid to Louisville
reporter, 81 am the only great cornetist
in the world" And the Philadelphia
Call thinks ''pcople with delicate nerves
wish it were true"
A Detroit doctor knocked man down
with club in street quarrel and then
charged him two dollars for fixing up his
scalp. You can't stump doctor with
hard times. Burlington Free Press.
"Papa, what is the matter with your
neck2 [ guess youm going to have a
boil'' "No, think not. 1t is only
little pimple" ''Then, papa, it must be
a par-boil, amt ita"-Car Pretzers.
One singer said to another: ''My
daughter has inherited my voice." "Oh,"
said the other, with the most innocent
air, ''that is the explanation, then. I
have always wondered where it was"
A Boston girl, who saw fellow with
delirium tremens, exclaimed: "Unhappy
man! Why do you permit yourself to
get the james. James2'" The shock re-
stored the sufferer to his right mind
New York Journal.
When rapid transit is finished, Brook
lyn married men will have to invent new
excuses for being home late. With the
bridge and the elevated road a Brook
lyn mans life is being made a hideous
dream. Times.
"Connecticutters eat boiled shad."
This is a very small thing to build an
item out of. If the boiled shad ate Con.
necticutters, or if the shad ate boiled
Connecticutters, then it might be worth
a passing mention.-Puck.
"Joseph Marmaduke Mullally, how
dare you, sir2" exclaimed the inc ignant
mother of St. Louis boy. Take your
sisters ear muff off your feet instanter,
and find your rubbers. Don't be so lazy,
sir2''-P,t,s1urg Chronicle.
"Medicine stains may be removed from
silver spoons by rubbing them with soft
ashes and soap-suds." Great care must
be exercised in not rubbing hessplating
off. This recipe should never be used ON
solid silver wedding presents.-Puek.
She smote him with the shingle
Till she made him thrill and tingle
Because he did not mind his baby brother,
But he soon forgot his pain
And went singing down the lane,
IA boy s best friend is his mother"
Boston Courier.
A Maryland wedding had to be post
poned because at the last moment it was
found that somebody had stolen the