davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1885-11-11

Grateful ThOusands proclaim VINEGAR
BrrTERs the most wonderful lnvigorant that ever
sustained the sinking system.
Made from California roots and herbs, neo
from Alcoholic Stimulants. A PurgatiVo
and Tonic. /.
This Ritters cures Female Complaints,
Infammatory and Chronic Rheumatism,
Gout, Bilious, Remittent and Intermittent Fe-
vers, Blood, Liver and Kidney Diseases.
Dyspepsia or lndig estton, Headache,
Pain in the Shoulders, Coughs. Tightnesa OF the
Chest, Dizziness, Sour Stomach: Furred Tongue
Bilious Attacks, Palpitation Of the Heart, Pneu-
monia, and Pain in the regions Of the Kidneys,
are cured by the use Of the Bitters.
For Skin Diseases, Eruptions, Boils,
Erysipelas, Scrofula, Discolorations, Humorsan
diseases Of the Skin Of whatever name or ma
ture, are literally dug up and carried out OF tho
system in q short time by the use OF the BiHerS.
1t 1nYfgorates the Stomach, and Sum-
ulates the torpid Liver and Bowels, which rem
der it Of unequaled efficiency In cleansing tho
blood Of all impurities, and imparting new Life
and vigor to the whole system.
No Person can take the Bitters and remain
Pin, Tape and other Worms, ara
Cleanse the Initiated Blood whenever
1t Is foul your feelings will tell you when. Keep
the blood pure, and the health Of the system
will follow.
In conclusion /: Give the Bitters atrial. II
will speak for itself. One bottle will prove O bet
ter guarantee of its merits than a lengthy ad-
R.H. McDonaldDr Drug Co., ProprietorsJ
Ban Francisco, Cal, and SO, $50 l. $50 Washington st.
Cor. Charlton st., Now York.
Sold By all Dealers and Druggists
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1885-11-11
Hoods ~Sarsaparina
100 Doses One Dollar

Sold by all Druggists. 81; SIX for s.. Prepare
by I. HOOD Il CO.. Apothocaries. Lowell. VI sa.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1885-11-11

A JERSEY farmer has three acres in sun.
flowers.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-10-31

90 Ourtve stores are local ed in the Rinc-
kel aud Savings Bank Blocks, Carson
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-10-31
DECEEAsE N THE POSTAL
REVENUE.

According to reports from Wash
iucton there has been a marked de-
srea &c in the postal revenue since
postage was reduced to two cents.
As the President does not wish
that department and bureau reports
shall be made public before they
are officially reported to Congress
in his message, the exact figures
cannot therefore be obtained, 1t Is
believed that the deficiency for the
fiscal year ending June Both 1880
will amount to about $4,000
This aocodnts for the action OF
The Postuiiice department III redUc =
ing expenses BY reducing mail ser
vice on several routes from daily to
tri-eer liy trips, as under the pres
cat Administration the heads Of the
Departments are endeayorins to
economige. As mail communica
zion is. however, almost as much OF
necessity In this age, when every
body writes letters and reads the
newspapers, to the farmer or ranch
or in sparsely settled districts, as
othe denizens Ct cities and villages,
the Government should economic
N some other way than that OF re-
stricting mail communication. The
general business depression which
has prevailed since the adoption OF
the two cent stamp for letters has
doubtless increased the deficiency
in the postal service, but consider
ing the cheap rate and the immense
extent Of territory oyer which the
mail service extends, a deficiency OF
3 few millions will not create sur
prise or dissatisfaction. Mails and
cheap postage are a necessity, and
if the receipts of the Postoffice De
partment fall short of the expenil-
lures. let luxuries be taxed to make
up the deficiency.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-10-31

General Grants widow has been
greatly grieved and panied by the
public discussion of the domestic
affairs of her daughter, Mrs. Nellie
Sartoris. The Public Leader Of
Philadelphia is authorized to say
that all reports to the OBJECT that
Mrs. Sartoris has applied or con-
templates applying for divorce OF
separation from her husband are
entirely without foundation and are
cruel words to her feelings.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-10-31

\ young man in San Francisco
lately brought suit against young
lady for $1,000 money loaned. She
brought in an account as an offset
for four kisses at $3.50 each. The
Judge, being a gallant man, allow
ed her account with the exception
&C SIG 40, presumably the Judge s
idea of the value of the young man S
kisses to the lady. 1t may now be
assumed that the market value of
those articles has been established
30 far as the Queen City is con-
eerned $3.50 for the female and
$40 10 for the male variety
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-10-31
O'DONNELL'S WORK

The San Francisco press, as a
rule, denounces Coroner O'Donnell
as a humbug agitator of the Kear-
Hey stripe, and dangerous man in
the community. A dispatch from
PIttsburg contains the following:
For thirty days Mongolians have
been passing through this city in
parties of from FIVE to twenty on
their way from the violence of the
West to the security of the East.
This morning half-dozen China
men, all Of the better class, arrived
1t the Union depot from Chicago
aud left few hours later for Phil
adelphia and New York. A vene-
rable looking nan, who seemed to
be commanding the rest of the
party, told a reporter in excellent
English that he and his friends
had left more or less lucrative laun-
dry business in San Jose and San
Francisco because their lives were
threatened by men whose shirts
they washed. They all had a little
money saved, and we're going to
live in Philadelphia and New York.
It is roughly estimated that over
500 Cinnamon passed through
Pittsburg in their flight from the
West since September 20;h.
IfO'Oonnell's sand-lot speeches
have driven 500 Cinnamon out of
San Francisco, they have effected
more than anything else has been
able to effect, not excepting the
Congress of the United States.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1885-10-31
4 flo- oil the fnn the Com

After all the fun the Comstock
papers poked at Nora, the "divin-
iog rod" man, employed BY Kir-
mas, they must feel q little cheap
nov, 70 have TO acknowledge that
lie has struck it on the western
slope Of Mount Davidson.
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

pursued hs paih q destruction. VII
rass hri-ay oV.r he DARK days Lhal lol-
lowed the dFying IN lhe sun. I'll al the
lie vas dried Gus q me; the fsarful
sgussEing. with thousands q other
Wrstrhs hks myssH into wooden
cas- tie voyage over seas; finally
The exposure q my bleached and
miserable skeleton in ths window Of .
druggist's shop. An these things are
too painful 70 Be dWsh upon; and ss
you know. / am nov resigned to ny
lot. ! ind in you . symPathizing
trend have water given me Though
Of very inferior qualityl morning and
night. and. were it not for the soap
and the squeezing. ! should make no
complaint But often. as ! hang idly
in my wire basket my thoughts go
back to nv own dear home under the
Syrian shores; and l long for =
draught Of the warm. delicious sateF.
for the cool retirement Of my rocky
ledge. and for the sight Of my dear son,
riding gracefully about on the back Of
his crah"-OUr Littls Ones
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

This is stretching my generosity good
deal, but am willing to sacrifice some
thing in order to secure peace.
hereby repeat my statement that l re-
fuse your challenge from purely charitable
motives. am bad people in duel. Look
at my record. A man insulted my mother
in-law and then apOloglzed. | did not mind
the insult; any man, with temerity enough
to insult my mother-in-law deserves Vic
toria cross. But could not stand the apol-
Ogy. II took his second two hours to scrape
my antagonists shattered feet off of the
hind legs Of a COW in the next field, and the
next day some little girls out berrying dis
covered a generous slice Of duelistic dia-
phragm, with vacant hole clear through
the northeast quarter of it. hanging on a
section Of snake fence
Ever since have been pursued by the
canker worm of remorse and my creditors.
am unable to enjoy my meals.
You say that If do not fight you will
give me away in the papers and have the
world point the cold finger of scorn at me.
Dear boy, l would rather have the worlds
cold finger Of scOrn pointed at me all my
life than to have the cold barrel Of your
shotgun pointed at me for eight and three
quarter seconds. Regretfully yours,
DAN CAvITT.
-Peck'S sun.
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

to yourself how, oft in the Silly night, you
would kick the clothes of the bed and
groan and grit your teeth and scare your
wife into cOnyulsions
Imagine how embarrassing II would be
for you to be seized with the nightmare
and fire a large charge of buckshot into the
clothes horse and then wake uD and See
not my noble ghostly features-but gap
ping crowd of curious neighbors and your
cold. bare feet and dishdbtlle toilet
When first received your letter l said
to myself: I'm be hanged il don't fight"
but when remembered that I'd be shot If
l did, l concluded to not act in the hasty
manner of the amateur duelst, but to rea-
son calmly with you. Your unreasonable
determination to fill my system full Of
jagged vacuitles would If persisted in cause
you 10 feel the bitter pangs of remOrse till
the day your hair would absc0nd. would
be sorry to learn, however that you had
purchased brace of pistols in antieipa-
ton of polka dOtting my lungs with A
caliber slugs. But if you have taken this
premature step will see that you lose
nothing by it have very fine three
mule-pOwer Confederate musket which |
will give you in exchange for the pistols
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

which ticket won. We love each other.
Our interests are identical am glad 1t
was your ticket that won"
II don't think you are in any hurry about
our marrying" said Laura.
Are you in earnestS'
Certainly, am in earnest. You have
not been in a hurry heretofore. You have
always been postponing our wedding for
one reason or another, and now am In no
hurry myself. Now that | am rich I can
afford to wait Rich people like me can
afford 10 indulge in luxurles, and single
blessedness in some instances is a great
luxury"
Laura, do not talk so frivOlously."
Talking frivOlously is another luxury I
can afford.n
The young man looked at her reproach-
fully, and he said, slowly:
"You know my only objection to our
marriage at an early day was our lack Of
money. 1t was more on your account than
on mine that suggested delay, but now
that the obstacle has been removed / am
ready at an time"
But / am not" replied Laura, almost
defantly. Now that l think over IT. ID
occurs to me that we would not be happy
together. For marriage to be happy the
contracting parties should be equal in social
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

ana ODScuTlby. 1eT-
haps he was poor boy once, you think,
and ran around with clothes like fishing
nets in their perfect ventilation. Perhaps
In some distant village an aged mother sits
and dreams of the grandeur her son has at
tained and tenderly fondles some
little treasure Of his youth, possibly
the razor he carried In his little hip
pocket Or may be he is thinking of his
own son, who is growing up as smart as his
father is, and he speculates on the boys
future as he plans to make sleeping
car porter of him and found family.
Visions of cake-walks in early days drift
through his mind and weird figures like
II "A crowd before his eyes as he recol-
lects the dream he had last nightof a snake
with silver door-knob for head trying
to swallow pelican, and he wishes he had
his dream-bo0k with him to find out what
numbers to play. During the hours be-
tween meals he is invisible to the guest
and those who give thought to the subject
imagine that he Is seereted in a grand
chamber, where alone in his glory, he
waits on Time.
like to think Of the home hours of great
men; how their children and friends famil-
iarIy address them and trihe with them
playfully as if they were Of no importance
whatever; but never let my mind take so
wild flight as to picture the head waiter
dandling a baby on his knee OF playing bear
on all fOurs in the woodshed. l scarcely
dare write the thought. Who ever heard
of man slapping the royal back and say
| ing: Hello, Zeke, old boyp
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05
Thereafter he performs this duty vicarl-
Ously.
V1oAR1ous- Getting colored person to do
your work for you.- Webster
Hdrper's BdzGr.

status. Now that ! am rich you would no
longer love me for myself alone, but for nv
wealth. will want to mingle in aristo-
cratic society, and naturally / want hus.
band who has similar tastes. Your tastes
are low and grovelling. The best thing for
us to do is to part. You had better look for
a suitable wife among the lower classes.y
and Laura glanced at him contemptuOusly.
I" Ish dot sol" replied the young man
with mock Solemnity. You had better
run home and help your mother feed the
pigs. You have had narrow escape from
putting yourself outside OF that station in
life in which it has pleased God to place
you, for know, Miss Smarty, that it Is my
ticket, not yours. that has won the first
prize. l will follow your advice, and look
for wife among the rich girls who are my
equals, and bowing politely, he withdrew
from the canvass. From the German IN
Texas Siftings.
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

Yet hs IS humsn. His reign sndg d tie
aEst can days oi September the leaves
and ths head waiter fali a. tha sane time
and Ehea winter eomss slridi1g along
.WhsEe dass be fnd TIE haad WaitaTs Gene
with ne % IhoBpsol street and yoQ WI
see ne Egn ever q humbls doorway;
sE1ekiel JaHersol sampson. White-Wash
artist and kalsouins frsse0er,p and 4 keke
Is st home Yoa'n fnd him i0oking In pot
Of ealcimine with 8 critical eye 70 the
amount 0f blue in Ii while Blanche, his
wife, Is bossing him aFOuRd with hot tat
iron In her kAnd which evidently enters MO
her argument
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05
Easy to Remember.

A young lady met dude on the street
the other day and spoke to him. That night
he met her at the house of friend.
"Ah, Miss Chestah." he said, II believe
you spoke to me on the street. tO-dayT'
"Yes," she answered.
"Weally, Miss Chestah, you will ex-
cuse me, but you know l don't remem-
bah of evah meeting you befOah don't you
know"
"Ah, indeed 1t was at Saratoga, last
summer"
"Weally, Miss Chestah, beg yOah pah.
DON ! had quite fawgotten, don't you
know, and l cawn't undahstand how you
could wemembah me so we'll"
"Quite easy, Mr.. Morgan; you know the
simpler anything is the easier we remember
it"-MeTchdnt Traveller.
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05
why His Visits Ceased.

1t was a St. Louis youth who timidly
rang the door bell at the Van Beltes one
night last week.
Excuse me, he said when little Jimmie
Van Better opened the door, but think l
left my rubbers here when / called on your
sister"
'llO, were those yours% inquired jim
mie, curiously, "Well, now, Pm sorry for
that"
Sorry for what?''
"lt's too bad l told ma she'd better
wait day or so, but no-she wanted q
couple Of go carts to ride the twins in, so
she just put wheels ON those rubberS But
| guess she'll give 'em 10 you,n he went on
consOlingly, "eause they're too big for the
twins She tUds thlnkin' Of putting a top
on, and using one of 'em for coupe,
though; but | guess she'll let you have
'emn
And when Miss Van Better commented
on the sudden cessation of Mr.. DOmkyn's
visits, Jimmie looked wise and said nothing.
The Rambler.
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

''Well, Pm glad to see that at least one
baseball club has gone into useful busi-
ness, for of all fOolishness think this thing
OF going around over the country playing
ball is the most foolish of ALL" was the re-
mark which greeted Mr.. SQuildig as he ap-
peared at the breakfast table this morning.
"GOne into a useful business?" queried
Squildig.
"Yes, and l hope the other clubs viii
follow the example. 1t may take a little
business away from the colored man, but it
will be a benefit after ALL"
"What do you meanP" asked Squildig,
mystlfed.
"Why, the paper this morning says the
Metropolitans whltewashed Brooklyn, and
think all the clubs had better go into the
whltewashing business" Pittsburgh
ChrOnicIe
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05
A cHaLLEllaE pEolNED.

ras Wurld't Celd FInEsE af scoFa fref,r-
ahla ia 9 Desc e LssdEa Fill4
BLAINE RED-HOE. ESQ Dc1F 81:
Your lsitsr inviting ne % SPIN gors VITA
you was duslly received Acting On ne
advice Of my friends and disregarding The
prayers Of my enemies. I make haste % de-
cline the invitation.
But I DO not want yOu b attTibus ny
declination to unEOrthy motives. l am
acting for what l consider your best good
Reject a moment Think how y0ur mind
would Be narrowed By rem0rse should yOu
lay low in death this mighty brain. Picture
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05
German NIllltary pIsoIpllne.

There was to be grand review and in
spection of the troops of German garri-
son town. A corporal gave the following
order to the soldiers:
NOW, men, If the Major asks you how
you like your grub, you say good II a
Colonel asks you you must reply very
good If the General asks you, you must
speak up and say it couldn't be betterq y
Omnibus.
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

Whea you have hired him, Just for the fun
OF the thing 10 come around and decorate
your back fence, and stand over him and
pick on his work and Jaw him for two solid
hours, you begin 10 feel that you are getting
square for the time last summer when you
paid twelve dollars per day 10 stand in awe
Of this professional beauty OF the Saratoga
hotels and realize, As you hear how he lost
all he made playing policy I'M the fall, That
life has Its eOmpensatiOns and there is JUS
tlee in this world after alL--W II. Nc
DOligdll, IN N. Y. World
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

Out West they have delicacy in dealing
with personalities, even in gambling cir
cles. A one-eyed man from the mining
districts had won 50 much money at poker
that his fair character was likely to be inn
peached for cheating. Finally cowboy
arose and said: Gentlemen, it's twelve
O'Clock; we'll all take drink, /" and, swing
ing his revolver around careIessly, con
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

Nobody ever meets him roaming around
town at one or two o'clock in the morning,
the time when all the other darkies, male
and female, are out enjoying 'the shank Of
the evening" and shutting their feet while
they sing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot and
'June-bug Got de Golden Wing" Where
is he?
Possibly be has got together little coterie
of other head walters as gloomy and grand
lose as himself, and they are having a
quiet little game Of POKER where every chip
represents a house and lot at least
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05
A Trlne Color-Bllnd.

$50 Clara FELTON, is marrled9" said one
Clifton belle to another.
"Yes, married last week, in New York"
"Who was the manP"
"Mr. Clarence McSpouter."
What that fellow we met ct Bar HaV-
bor?"
THE same one"
''Gracious me, how did she come to marry
that green thlngP"
"Oh," was the reply, in commiserating
tone, poor Clara was always little color
blind, you know."--M Merchant Traveller.
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05
No PercentIhle Chanra.

De Baggs- Have you seen PonsonbyP
De Twirliger-Yes, met him yesterday.
Why?
Nothing in particular. he has beer
down at Cape May for three months, taking
In the salt, you know"
"You surprise mel He seemed to me to
be as fresh as ever. r."--Philddelphid Call.
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

"You are charged with kissing this
young lady in the dark" said the Judge to
the prisoner, a goOd-looking young man.
"Merciful heavensp he gasped. SIS that
the young lady"
ut is"
'Then / plead not guilty, your Honor. I"
"Not guiltyg'
eyes; and desire to enter plea Of in.
sanIty."-N. Y. Journal
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

hind his back, the
other In his vest he
Is a picture. What
are the thoughts pass
ing through the royal
brain? Perhaps he
thinks that he, too,
is clay, that his reign
may soon end, or he
may be thinking Of
the distant past when
watermelons held a
charm for him great
er than any dish the
chef serves. Even
head walters may
arise from poverty
ond ohcottritv Dor
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

Siclan OF artist in the city begins to hoard his
savings for the time when ne can join the
thrOng and for few briefday waste hlssub-
stance in riotous living at gorgeous hotels
In this giddy whlrl here cone sudden short
stops and awful pauses when be stands face
10 face with Power whose majesty causes
him to cringe and gasp before Its awful
sOlemnity. There are times in mans life
when he realizes his utter insignihcance,
and one Of these times Is when he surveys
the Head Waiter at Saratoga hotel Sur
rounded by all the pomp and glory OF an
eastern monarch the great creature stands
IN the grand entrance to the gilded dining
palace and with naughty mien and majestic
gesture sends his subjects hlther and thither
BY wave of his hand. Alone in his glory,
like all kings, his sable eOuntenance wears
look of gloomy benignity. His spOtless
linen and raven-black garments bespeak the
immaculate serenity Of bis great mind. No
one 50 bold as to dare 10 trife with him or
utter merry Jest in his awful presence; he
is surrounded by a circle, invisible, but un-
passable, barrier as Of ice.
Mark how the city clerk on vacation
bnlckbIS III MS StteN6 dS hb Secs Hs Sill-
ployer creep humbly to the seat assigned
him by the dark pOtentate without daring
to utter an objection, although opposite sits
the man he swindled on big bill of goods
last winter, and whose burning glance eats
into his soul. The little clerk In his twenty
dollar suit sees the Congressman bow be-
fOre'his majesty and all Of them, magnates
of the railroads, Governors, aye, even Presi-
dents, approach the presence with fear
and trembling.
Nobody seems to dare insult the majestic
creature by vulgar 'tip," although | sup
pose some CrGsus now and then on the sly
hands him five-hundred-dOlla bill.
See this humble, abject creature, whose
ill-htting garments and shutfiing, tlmld
gait indicate that he has no business in this
gorgeous place. With evident dread he ap-
proaches the head waiter, and, unmindful
Of the warning frOwn on his face, speaks
to him. See how he sues for something,
probably a crust from table, Mol he
takes the head waiter out of the room.
May be the walter is about to kill him.
Whatl that was the proprietor of the
hotel! You don't say so? Even he breads
the black tyrant.
So he reigns and his subjects are legion.
AS he stands against pillar, one hand be-
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

annsl .al.sI laa rslrezlmeEt we q play
sEsia. and lh8 uazt nan Wh1 zas1ls ual
sho5t out lis u4har eva It d Aae414 81
ssv thst via ais ta11l Ans o. c1eege.A
- plsysd l1siag slns taa Hass q 14t
-ivhf - FrehanoS
The Southern herald., 1885-12-05

FureNul5 E1rgEezi FzrsWel uudl
ne sumner DAYS returns
IN uEz1a az E1sa lQH aWaF~
NJ rlaitsd furzn mcurL
Sweet mem'riss iinEer roul1 E1Y fern,
Yet fazhiole S1grlesi AAH
nacrecs seciuEicn nov for Ehee-
Qh. sunharut uiackiaEwl
I'd wear thee dsraf j but % fsca
ne haEteFs steru tzts
Or did think the boys would cease
To hcllar, shoot the hEtlH
-Lan.n CEheA