Morning journal and courier., 1885-07-10
SATISFACTORY.

Two men in Kentucky killed each other last week in quarrel about dog. AS the animal was not injured in any way, the trouble may be considered as satisfactorily settled.-Lowen Citizen.
 ''Where is Jones?" t'Dead." 'Dead! We'll, deelarel Paid the death of nature, hey?" ''No, compromised at less than fifty per cent" "How so?" "He left his better half behind him.. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle. Henry Irving says the steamer that car ried him back to England tacted admira- bly," We infer from this that the vessel Iimped when it walked, and said 'fHawnry' when it meant "Henry. ."-New York Graph io.
 ''What distinguished people did you see when you were abroad?" was asked of Mrs. Dobbs, on her return from China. "Oh, lots of them. But the one that took my fan cy was Wan Lung, the heir-consumptiVe to the throne. Judge
 Yes, my son, the lamb is more loveable animal than the hog, but the hog is generally very much fatter than the lamb. If you would have people love you, be a lamb; but if getting ahead in the world be your sole object, by all means be hog.-Boston Tran script.
 Il hear your wife left you, Mr. Biffa' 'TYa-as, 'Riah's gone' "Left for goodF' ''Ya-as, 'Riah's left for good" "Don't it
 make you feel kind of anxious?" ''No, 'Riah
 was a woman of strong determination. Il ain't got no anxieties. She won't come back. J Free Press.
 Kissing is said to be very good thing to make girls lips red. A kiss has sometimes been known to make a girls lips red way up to the roof of her forehead, when her mother came into the parlor unexpectedly just as the kisser and kissee were coming under the wire.-Louisville Journal. 'FAre you superstitious, my dear?" said Miss Birdie McGinnis to newly arrived stranger in Austin to whom she had become engaged. 'tNot bit but why do you ask?'' replied the youth 'sNothing, except you
 are the thirteenth young gentleman to whom
 I have been engaged. .'-Texas Siftings.
 Three Milwaukee school girls, members of
 class of five, have ''struck" because of al
 legged partiality shown by the teacher to-
 wards the other two girls If this matter of
 strikes goes much further we shall see the
 smaller strawberries rising in insurrection
 because they are placed at the bottom of the
 box.-Chicago News.
 Mrs Candid, fashionable lady living on
 Madison Square, New York, called on a lady
 friend and found her betting one of those
 mala' asked Mrs. Candid. My husband
 gave it to me to remember him by when he was away traveling'' ''What horrid
 nasty looking brute he is."-Texas Sift- ings.
 Mitchell is three years old, and his princi- pal playmate iss a Siberian bloodhound of immense proportions. The other day the dog rolled him off the porch, four feet from the ground, in play, and fairly mopped the ground with the small boy. When he let him go the child lay still, looked up in his
 face, and said, 'Don't be afraid big dog: boy won't hurt you. ."-Harper's Bazar. f'Charles,'' said Mrs Spendall, ''I saw a
 beautiful costume at Bizarre's to-day, and
 should like it ever and ever so much" "And
 I should like to have you have it," replied
 money to spare" '|oh, you great tease, I
 know better than that I saw brand new
 check book in your desk only yesterday, and not one of the cheeks had been used. ."-Bos- ton Transcript.
 She kissed her pug-with haste arose And rained upon that creatures nose A storm of osculations sweet; The dude reclining at her feet
 Remarked, he looked sidewise up, II wish that I'd been born pup
 Then smiling coldly from her throne She said, And were you born full growns" San Francisco Wasp