davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

Dip one end of a sponge in water and
the whole will soon.be saturated. So a
disease in one part Of the body effects
other parts. You have noticed this
yourself. Kidney and liver troubles,
unless checked, will induce constipation,
piles, rheumatism and gravel. a timely
use Of DR.. Kennedy's Favorite Remedy
will prevent these results. II Is pleas
ant to the taste and may be taken freely
by children and delicate females. Il
gives elasticity, life and cheeks with
roses on them.
Reflect upon yonr pleasant blessings,
OF which every man has many; not on
your past miSfortunes, OF which all men
have some.
Silence is the wit of fools and one
Of the virtues Of the wise.
To most children the bare suggestion
OF a dose Of castor oil is nauseatlng.
Why, not, then. when physlc is neces-
sary for the little ones, use Ayers
Cathartic Pills2 They combine every
essential and valuable principle of a
cathartic medicine. and being sugar
coated are easily taken.
Hard words are Ike haslstones in
summer, beating down and destroying
what they would nourish were they
melted in drops.
For earache, toothache, sore throat,
swelled neck, and the results of colds
and inflammation, use DIR. Thomas
Electric Oil-the great pain destroyer.
Every day Is a little life, and our
whole lifeis but day repeated. There
fore, live every day as ii Il would be the
last,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
LITTLE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.

When are little secrets like the sails
Of ship? When they get wind.
Why the letter G like the sunP Be
cause it is the center of light.
When are the streets of town most
greasyp When the rain is dripping.
How many sticks go to building a
crows nest? None, because they are all
carried.
The teacher: "What Is wisdom, my
childP" Information of the brain,
sir"
What did Lot do when his wife turned
to salt? Got fresh one.
Why may Dutch people be said to
come into the world ready dressed? Be
cause they are born in Holland.
At what time was Adam married?
On his wedding Eve.
When has a man four handsp When
he doubles his fists.
Where is happiness always to be
found? In the dictionary.
When is man not a man9 When he
turns into lane.
What is the best kind of shooting in
winter? TO have Goals shot into your
cellar.
How can boy make his jacket last?
BY making his waistcoat and trousers
first.
What is it that goes up the hill, and
down the hill, and yet never movesp
The road.
Why do little birds in their nests
agreep Because if they did not they
would fall out.
Why are fowls the most profitable
things to keep? Because for every grain
they give a peck.
Why is a coal charity the best Of all
charities? Because 1t makes the receiv-
er's crate full lgrateful).
What is the difference between a hun
cry man and glutton? One longs to
eat, and the other eats too long.
Why is the horse the most humane of
all animals? Because he gladly gives the
bit out Of his mouth and listens 10 every
woe.
What is that which every one longs to |
have, and which every one wishes 10
get rid of directly he obtains itP A good |
appetite.
Where was time raisedP In the lapse
Of ages.
What does Queen Victoria take her
pills in? In cider,
Why is door in the subjunctive mood? .
Because it is wood-or might, could or
should be.
Why Is a milkman like Pharoah's
laughterP Because he draws a little
profit out OF the water.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

The Rev. Geo. II. Thayer, of Bourbon
Ind, says: "Both myself and wife owe
our lives to Shiloh's Consumption Cure. "
Sold by w. +. Biery, Weissport, and c.
I. Horn, Lehighton.
Are you made miserable by indiges-
ton, constipation, dizziness, loss of ap-
petite, yellow skin? Shiloh's Vitalizer is
a positive cure. Sold by w. F. Biery,
Weissport, and C. T. Horn, Lehighton.
-hy will you cough when Shiloh's
Cure will give you Immediate relief.
Price 10 cents, 90 cents and 81. Sold
by w. +. Biery, Weissport, and c. r.
Horn, Lehighton.
Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy-a positive
cure for catarrh, diphtherla and canker
mouth. Sold by w. F. Biery, Weissport, I,
and G. t. Horn, Lehlghton.
"Hackmetack" lasting and fragrant
perfume. Price 25 and 90 cents. Sold
by w. I. Biery, Weissport, and c. T.
Horn, Lehighton.
shlloh's Cure will Immediately relieve
Group, whooping cough and bronchitis.
Sold by w. F. Biery, Weissport, and c.
T. Horn, Lehlghton.
For dyspepsia and liver complaint, you
have printed guarantee on every bottle
of Shiloh's Vitalizer. II never fails to
cure. Sold by w. f. Blery, Weissport;
C. #. Horn, Lehighton.
A nasal injector free with each bottle
of Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy. Price so
cents. Sold by w. +. Biery, Welssport;
G. I. Horn, Lehighton.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

who laughs last says the proverb, and
We'll see who that shall be, 1 said to
myself.
"At last she grew, or seemed to grow,
melancholy. The more vapid my
twaddle the more she appeared affected
by it. 1t reminded me of Deacon Dar-
hey, who was always most attentive at
the dullest parts of the sermon.
81 called one evening and found Kate
in a very dispirlted mood. As she
greeted me, there was sadness in her
tone which could hardly have been
feigned.
Il feared you were not coming this
evening, Rob--Mr. Wimple. 1 mean,' :
she sighed.
"I assure you, Miss Burgess
began, nothing ever gives me more
pleasure
"'Yes, yes she faltered, Il know
what you would say
"'Let me beg of you 1 interrupt
cd, anxiously.
"I know what you are going to ask
she persisted; it is question my heart
has long since answered.
Here was a situation for a respect
able husband and father! Hal my folly
come to this9 had never dreamed Of
Kate's being more in earnest than N.Y.
self. After all, it was likely to prove
no laughing matter Everybody would
call me william; and Ahna-what would
she thinkp dreaded to reflect upon 1t.
~ beg you to permit me ex-
claimed.
"'Yes, take my hand, Robert she
whispered, reaching me one and cover
ing her face with the other
81 hung back confused for moment.
Then, in sheer desperation and with
more than lovers energy 1 seized the
profered hand and began an incoherent
speech, intending to explain all and
make what amends could for my con-
duct. But the sound of an approach
ing footstep cut me short in the ex-
ordium.
81 turned and saw whom do you
think2
1 confessed my inability to guess.
"My wife," said Bob, dramatically.
"You can imagine the scene," he
continual. ga husband confronted By
his wife, in the act of holding by the
hand strange lady, and addressing her
in words of earnest appeal.
"'Strike, Anna, but hear mep 1
cried, starting like a guilty thing.
81 had heard words to that effect
somewhere and could think of nothing
better to say.
But she didn't strike-didn't even
call me caitiff or william, names I would
have considered moderate under the
circumstances. After giving herself
time to take In the scene, with all its
ludicrous details, she Just burst out
lauSulnS, ana she ana Kate laughed
duet till both sank exhausted.
"When the explanation came all was
made plain enough. Kate had known
who 1 was from the start. She and
Anna, it appeared, were old schoolmates,
and the latter in our counting days, had
shown my miniature to her friend, who
was thus enabled to recognized me at
first sight. A letter from Kate, speak
of her new beau, and asking Anna to-
come and share in the fun she was hav-
ing, was the cause of my wife's sudden
appearance.
"The business and pleasure which had
hitherto detained me were both speedily
ended. The laugh wasn't so soon over"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
TURNING THE LAUGH.

Never stake your wits against a
woman's said Bob Wimple, as we sat
slipping our tea one evening at his cosy
| little home.
"WhyP" l asked, "are their wits SO
much sharper than oursP"
II can't say exactly" Bob replied,
but they have so many more of them,
you see. Icould tell you story anent
| that"
TEL it." l said, putting another
lump of sugar in my cup and setting
myself to listen.
Bob slowly stirred his tea, took a sip
and began:
"Katc Burgess, who was the hand
somest ugly woman ever saw"
"a contradiction in terms that"
interrupted.
"Not in her casc," insisted Bob: "you
would have owned it yourself had you
seen her. Though her features were
irregular, their expression was perfect
and they beamed with intelligence.
81 met her casually at a watering
place." he continued, "whither / had
gone, partly on business, partly on
pleasure, about year after my marri-
age. She had the reputation, / found,
OF being sort Democritus, a laugher
at mankind and their follies. She had
a goodly number of suitors; some doubt
less attacted by herself; others, perhaps,
by her fortune. But, in turn, she had
treated them all alike. One after an
other she had led them into the most
extravagant flights only to laugh at them
in the end, and make them the laughing
stock Of others.
Whether it was that a years con-
nubial bliss had not suficed to render
me quite insensible to the charms of
Irritation, or avenging the wrongs of my
sex. i leave to be inferred from my
story. At any rate, the fact is, that
after making Miss Burgess's acquaint-
ance, and on detecting, as l thought,
mking purpose to add me to her list of
victims, took no pains 70 inform her
that, instead of being an eligible
bachelor, was a staid and steady ben
dict.
Chance threw us good deal together.
We talked all sorts of sentimental nom
sense, quoted the spooniest passages of
the poets and made as great fools our
selves as the two greeuest lovers could
have done. ...
~ thought Kate was flirting desper-
ately; but, determined not to be out
done, went as far as she. Not that
made downright love 10 her. Con-
science, when ! thought of Ann and
the baby at home, i wouldn't stand that.
At times, when Kate's fine eyes-her
eyes, il had to be confessed were fine I
looked languidly into mine, had mis-
givings lest had made an impression
deeper than ! bad intended. Then !
secuted the vanity which made me
think myself more successful than
dozens of others who had similarly
flattered themselves. No, she was only
laughing at me- But be laughs test
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

Can any one bring us case of Kid
ner or Liver Complaint that Electric
Bitters will not speedily cure? We say
they cannot, US thousands of cases
already permanently cured and who are
daily accommodating Electric Bitters,
Will prove. Bright's Disease, Diabetes,
Weak Back, or any urinary complaint
quickly cured. They purify the blood,
regulate the bowels, and act directly on
the diseased parts. Every bottle guar
anteed. For sale at Doc. a bottle by T.
d. Thomas.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

his heart. How bright the future
seemed He was SO sure of her answer
had not she given it all but in wordsP
"My beautiful, my queenp' he said,
softly. And just then he heard the light
ripple of woman's laugh in the adjoin.
ing room. Her laugh ;he knew 1t among
a thousand; and her voice; she was
speaking loud and clear.
There, Guardle; you must let me 60
now. Mr.. Rowan is waiting for me in
the library. You know / am to give
him his answer tonight"
And the guardians voice, speaking
tenderly, replied
"And that answer, l can guess it, little
Madge. You are going to marry this
man, and leave us ALL"
"Marry himl2 No, indeed, sir; he is
just the subject for grand Irritation, and
assure you have acted my part well /;
but for anything ifurther-bahl But he
is ex. .ecting me, So by-by till come
again." and she tripped lightly through
the half-open door, ere the amazed
guardian could utter syllable.
A white, ghastly, ,shivering figure stood
by the library window.
"For Gods sake, Madge Smith, tell
me you were jestingp' he cried, as bril-
liantly, glowingly beautiful, she glided
into the room. E,
"Not so, my FRIEND" she answered
lightly; ~ spoke the truth. If you
overheard my words need not repeat
them. 1t is my answer"
But you gave me hope; you led me
on, you have given me reason to think
you love me-" he cried, passionately.
"It is the one love Of. my lifel 1 have
centered every hope and thought in you,
Madge Smith, and for my sake, for Gods
sake, do not wreck my lifep'
She was very pale now, and her eyes
were black and glistening.
Neil Rowan" she said, slowly, 81
have prayed for this hour for eight years,
but never in my widest dreams did
think my prayer would be SO fully
answered. When 1 saw the hue of
death, the white agony on my only sis
ter's cheek-when saw her writhe in
speechless agony at the words she heard
eight years ago tonight, 1 vowed to
avenge her, God being helper. Again,
when l heard the thud of the earth upon
her coffin, vowed that vow. God has
brought it about even sooner, more COM
plete, than had thought. If have
given you one hour of such agony as
she suffered, l am content. If you
could live and suffer it for countless
ages, I should be better content. Good
night"
Two hours afterward, the sharp ring
of pistol rang with starting distinct-
ness through the crowded drawing room
All sprang to their feet, save Madge
Smith. Perhaps her cheek paled a
little-I cannot tell-but the light of her
eye never changed, her smiling lips
never relaxed, as she gazed upon the
blood-stained corpse in the library
Neil Rowan had taken his own life, and
| Cora Smith was avenged.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
AVENGED.

The old clock in the wall rang out five
melodious chimes, as Cora Smith softly
closed the kitchen door, and ran into the
little bedroom for her blue scarf.
"Five O'clock" she said, as the last
stroke died away; che is wondering
why l don't come, and l must make
haste. Madge, little Madge, are you
going with me tonight? 1 am all
ready"
Little Madge, the twelve-year-old sis
ter, came flying through the hall.
"Auntie says you've forgotten to get
the potatoes for breakfast, and we must
prepare them before you go. Never
mind if he does have to wait little for
you: you've waited for him many q
time. Come quickly, and will help
YOU"
So sweet-tempered Cora Smith united
the blue scarf, and tripped away to the
forgotten task as merrily as her little
sister, albeit her heart beat like an I'M
prisoned birds at the delay.
The west was all aflame with the
autumn sunset ere the sisters closed the
cottage door behind them, and ran down
the garden path toward the stile, where
he was waiting-in other words, where
hazcl-eyed, sweet-faced Cora Smiths
city lover was waiting for his lady-love,
as she had many night waited for him.
Almost every evening they met there
at the stile-their ''trysting place." he
said, just halfway between her home
and his boarding house. He had pro-
posed it, and she was nothing 10th to
accede-it was so pretty and romantic.
Then, Auntie Smith was not at all
pleased with this dark-eved young
stranger, and, though she had not fol-
hidden him the house, both lovers knew
she preferred ''his room to his company"
And SO, always with dear little Madge at
her side, she daily tripped down the
path through the leafy woods to the
halfway trysting place where she met
her handsome, dark-eyed lover, Neil
Rowan. How her heart 1uttered to-
night as she thought of him and the
warm love-light deepened and darkened
the soft, brown eyesl
Neil, Neil," she said, almost uncon-
sclously, aloud; and little Madge clasped
her sisters hand closer. and looked up
in her face.
''Do you love him SO very much, sis
ter CoraP"
A swift, hot color came into the girls
cheeks, and then she pauses, suddenly
holding the hands of little Madge in a
fervent grasp.
Love him! love him, Madge! better
than all the world-better than my
youth, my lite-aye, sometimes / fear
better than my hope of heaven! And !
am TO be his wife, little Madge, this
good mans wife, when the beautiful
spring comes. / shall leave you, and
auntie, and uncle, to be all his. But
this is our secret, little sister, and only
you can share IT,"
Then her hands relaxed their hold, and
drawing the light scarf over her shoul-
ders, she tripped silently on. They
were almost there-nearing the edge of
the wood, and the stile was but a step
away. Another step forward, and then
Madge held her sister back. j
"WaitP' she whispered; Il can see
two men on the seat, Cora. We do not
want TO meet strangers there"
''No," she said, drawing back in tho
shadow Of the wood ''it is Nels friend,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
TO- TeR-1O- Ten. 10 Ten-IO
Rev. Father Wilds'
EXPERIENCE

The Rev. z. T. Wilds, well-known city
missionary In New York, and brother
OF the late eminent Judge WIIds. OF the
Massachusetts, Supreme Court, writes
as foIIowsi
"Ts y. 5ifi s., kslc l'ork. Nan iG, 1852.
MEssRh. j. g. AVER & CO., Gentlemen;
Last winter / was troubled with q most
uncomfortable uiIso ltehipg hamor affecting
intolera1,y Mt night, and burned 50 Intense
~, that could scarcely bear any clothing
over thcm. | was AlSI n sufferer from a
severe oaLt:ri and catarrhal cough; nv
appetite WA poor, and nay systom a good
qeal run down. Knowing tie value Of
AYERS SArsArARILLA, by observation Of
many olhcs oas-s, and from personal use
~ toCmer years, began taxing ii for ths
aooVe-named disorders. Ny appetite in
proved almost from the first dose. Aftkr
sho't une tha fever and itching were
Aiayeg, az NJ! sgs Of irritation Of thD
SKIN disappeared. Ny cataTEh and cough
were also cured by the salpe msanS, and
u Is now excellent. / feel a hundred peS
cant stronger, anl attribute these resrlts
70 the uso Of the SARsAPAaTLLA wldah
recommend with all confidence as thA
pest blood medicine ever devised. / took
u ~ small doses three times a day, and
aased, " an, less tl'ln two bottles. place
theSo ilots at your service, hoping thStr
publication may do good.
Yours respectfully, 2. 7. WIL.psD
Tho above Instance Is bot one OF The rnapv
coming TO our notice, which prove
the perfect adaptabillty OF AYER's sAHsA-
70 the cure OF all diseases arialra
from impure or impoverished blood, and 4
weakened vitality.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
Caupht bv Ontonpq

A diver who was trying to find pearls
on the Alaska coast, found none, but
found himself all of a sudden, in the
grasp of an ugly octopus with arms
twenty-seven feet long. Such an ex-
perience Is rare; but there are thousands
OF people who are caught by dyspepsia,
which is quite as bad. An octopus hates
to let go. So does dyspepsia. Browns
Iron Bitters settles dyspepsia, and makes
1t loose Its cruel grip. Mrs. Schmidt
and her daughter, Of 1876 Conway street,
Baltimore, were both cured of dyspepsia
by the use of Browns Iron Bitters.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

ANY man may do a casual act Of
good nature, but continuation of them
shows that it is a part of their tempera-
ment.
One of the best rules in conversa-
tion is never to say a thing which any
OF the company can reasonably wish he
had left unsaid.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
DR.. Fra2ier's Root Bitters.

Frazier's Root Bitters ore not a dram
shop beverage. But are strictly medl-
cinal in every sense. They act strongly
upon the liver and kidneys, keep the
bowels open and regular, cleanse the
blood and system of every impurity.
Sold by druggists, $l.0o. At Thomas
drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
IN AN OLD BOOK.
BY HENRY CLEVELAND WOOD.

BY HENRY CLEVELAND WOOD.
What is 1t Jennie,
Dropped from the book
Down on the carpet?
There it is-look!
Only some violetsi
Lay them away,
In the oil book again;
Dear, let them stay.
One would not guess
That once they were blue,
They are 50 faded
An, am tool
Changes have come, love,
Since they were given.
They are dead; am here;
lie is in Heaven.
They were a small gift.
Trihng, know:
But they were given me
Long years ago.
Down in the shadows
or the old yew
He and parted;
There's where they grew.
was TO give them back
When we next met
Fifty long years ago
have them yet.
Put them back, Jennie,
Put them away,
They have been there
This many day.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

I'm the revised versions of the Old
Testament the familiar words, can Is
vanity and vexation of spirit. are made
to read, "All is vanity and striving
after win" This is a direct fling at the
Congress of the U. S.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

--Despise not any man, and do not
spurn anything, for there is no man that
hath not his place.
--Hypocrltes are wicked. They hide
their defects with so much care that
their hearts are poisoned by them.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
DR.. Fra1ior,s Mneir uintment

A sure cure for boils, burns, sores,
cuts, flesh wounds, sore nipples, hard
aud soft corns, chapped lips and hands.
Price SOC. Sold by druggists. Williams
MFG Co., Props, Cleveland, o. Sold
at Thomas drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rhuem, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblands,
cor1ls, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required.
It Is guaranteed to give perfect satsfac-
ton, or money refunded. Price 25 cents
per box.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

Let US learn upon earth those things
which call us to heaven.
Wrongs entrenched In bad legisla-
tion can never be converted into vested
rights.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

1t ismuch easier 10 find a score of
men wise enough TO discover the truth
than to find one intrepid enough, in the
face OF opposition, to stand up for it,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
Ifnot paid in advance, $l.25.

Fiction pleases the more in proper
tion as IL resembles truth.
lie who lives but for himself lives
but, for little thing.
TO count but few things necessary
Is the foundation of many blessings.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18

Our acts make or mar us. We are
the children of our own deeds.
AS to trouble, who expects so find
cherries without stones, or roses With
out thorns.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-07-18
Advertising Rates.

We desire It 10 be distinctly understood
hat no advertisements will be inserted in
ME- columns Of The CARBON ADVooATE that
may be received from unknown parties or
Arms unless accompanied by the CASH.
The following are our ONLY terms;
ONE SQUARE 10 LINEs),
One year, each nsertion......."......... 10 cts.
glx months, each insertion ............ Is cts.
Three months, each insertion ......... 20 cts.
Loss than three months, first insertion
81; each subsequent insertion...... 2b cts.
Local notices 10 cents per line.
H. v. MoRTHIMER, jr., Publisher.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1885-12-04

THE LATE KING OF SPAIN.-However
little the mild and ascetic Francis of Assist
may have contributed to the character cf
Alfonso, there can be no doubt that the
animalism of his mother, Isabella, and of
his grandmother, Christine, is repeated with
increased force and abandon in the King.
He has already given to his Court flavor
of pronounced corruption. His first enjoy
ment of the royal prerogative took the form
of an insistance on his droits de seigneur
His profgacy, shocking even to Spauiards,
has been at least candid, and his subjects
have never been ignorant of the times or
places when he played the part of the Ha-
roun AL Raschid. 1t is generally known
that his life has been more than once en-
dangered in his street rambles, and gypsy
girl on one occasion nearly put an end to
them with her bodkin. His passions are
ant to disdain the beauties of the Court and
oravitate, like those of most young men,
towards vulgar celebrities. It is true that
one Young duchess suffers sometimes the
envied taint of his distinguished preference,
but the ladies who dance for him after his
little supper in the palace, and those whom
he visits incognito, attended by two of bis
faithful military chamberains, are OF the
common class-circus riders, tumbers, sing
ers aud half breed gitaue.-Ante Mortem
Letter in Chicago Tribune,