Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-08-15
How They Put the Cow in the Yard.
Aleck Sweet in Arkansaw Traveller:


There is nothing that demands
craftsmanship of high order as much |
as the driving of COW with a young
calf to any particular place. Two
Dallas colOred men undertOokNa Job
of this character, and although they
gave the matter their careful atten-
ton, the result was very far from
satisfactory to anybody except the
cow, which seemed to enjoy it very
much. Sam and Bill were to get
dollar to take the COW and calf and
put them in the yard of the owner,
Mr.. Thomas Carlyle, who lives at the
south end of Elm street. After try
ing in vain to understand in which
direction they preferred she should
go, Sam and Bill called a cabinet
meeting, at which the following cam
paign was agreed upon; Sam was to
take the calf in his arms and 60 ahead
while Bill was to hold the COW back
by the rope which was fastened to
her horns.
"Ef she goes too fast" said Bill,
"Pll jest hold her back"
"And eff she don't follow fast
enough, I'll jest twist de calf's tail,
and den she will come right along"
said Sam.
Sam took up the calf and went
ahead, while Bill, in order to get a
real good hold, tied the rope around
his wrist. The procession proceeded
slowly in the desired direction, and
would have reached its destination
in safety had not Satan tempted Bill
to get joke on Sam, so he called
out:
"Sam, jest twist dat calls tail"
Sam did so, and the calf bleated as
if it was opposed to an encore to the
performance.
The old COW began to trOt. SO did
Sam, holding on to the calf as if he
had stolen it. Then the fun began.
For every once in a while the cow
would polish her horns in the ceiling
of Sans pants. Bill could not get
his hands out of the rope, and, as he
had short legs, he had hard work
keeping up with the procession, or
rather in not letting go. He ran so
fast that the kinks in his wool were
Strengthened out. Finally he gasped:
Sam, ontwist dat calf's tail"
Sans legs moved SO rapidly that
they looked like thespokes of a buggy
but he called back:
"Look out dar, niggar, don't let GO
dat rope, de cows gainin' on me-"
"Drap de caf, SAM" called poor Bill,
whose arm was going out of its socket.
"Drap de caf, for / can't keep up wild
de cow. Go slow, niggah, or I'll turn
de COW loose on you, which, however
was more than he was able to do.
Bill made the next fifty yards on
his back, he still most unwillingly
retaining his hold on the rope. For
tunately, the cow overlook Sam, anG
in return for his kindness in picking
up the calf, she picked him up on hel
horns and threw him over into Mr.
Carlyle's yard. Bill, who was rather
tired of chasing the COW, thought he
would climb over and see what San
r was doing. She appeared to under
stand his wishes in that direction, 81
, she started on run to help him on
or rather in. She was q little late
but he went about ten feet further il
to the field than he would have don
e without her assistance. There wer
, neither of them so badly hurt as the,
were when old Carlyle came and tol,
them the contract was that the,
:. should put the COW in the yard. In
. stead of that the COW had put ther
9 in the yard, so the dollar belonged t
himself as the owner of the COW.
1t is thought a lawsuit will groN
out of the matter.
oya CON naithar ha houuht nor col,