Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-23

once every day ~ ind out II tho pro
orieior has found any one IN invest in
wonderful air ship, of which he al
ways carries elaborate plans. He was
duly presented. and when he found he
was at least in the presence of a wealthy
man his assumption OF dignity aud the
crrelcssness with which he spoke OF
hundreds OF thousands of dollars were
appalling. Some royal investments In
Siberian lands had temporarily embar-
rasscd him, aud In consequence he
would consent to take In a partner in
his great air-ship enterprise, which
would not only startle the world, but
quite likely the entire universe. The
man seemed about sixty-five years old.
straight and tall, restless, nervous,
manner and flow Of language when
speaking Of his invention that would
make a stenogrspher sick. He un-
rolled his drawings after convincing
himself that there was no one TO over
hear. There were plans of boats. bal
looms. electric apparatus. valves, cables,
propeller wheels and rudders of every
description.
There you sce," no said, "the boat
is propelled through the air by means
OF electric machines working this pow
erful propeller. The bouyancy is at
tanned by using four large balloons at
tached to the boat by strong cables
These balloons are inflated by gas man.
ufactured aboard the boat, and the
altitude Is. regulated by means OF a
system of valves that will enable me to
ascend or descend Mt will. The pro.
Ia afr nh IN m nj h
through tho tiercest storm or the bal
looms are great enough to carry me
above them. i assure you. my dear sir,
that this will revolutionize the means
OF transportation. Railroad trains and
steamships are too slow. Why, 1 can
easily carry passengers and freight
from New York to London in three
days Now. what do you think of thatP
Don't you think there are immense
fortunes in it?"
The reporter mildly expressed some
doubt rs to the thing working smooth
ly and safely. "Not work. exclaimed
the inventor, looking with such pity
ing expression that the reporter was
really sorry he had presumed to feel
tho least doubtful. "Not work, why il
can help but work. DO you suppose
for IN instant, sir. that | would have
devoted thirty years OF my valuable
time 10 an invention that woudn'i
work." And he cypla'n ned the whole
thing over again with such vchcmcacc
that the reporter could not do other
wi than acknowledge the machine
would surely work. but thinking the
man was becoming too deeply interested
in him on his imaginary millions he
backed slowly toward tho door and
hurr.edly excused himself for moment.
Ire proprietor. in some manner known
only to himself. rid the room OF the air
ship crank. and the capitalist bre tthcd
FREQ again.
"You see that little, dried up old man
at that table. looking over an oil at
las" said the propr etor, pointing to
another queer specimen; THAT fellow
has some sort of machine IN which he
Is going to find the North Pole He
thinks he will find an open polar sea
surrounded by rich lands. and that all
the imperishablc property that was
ever wrecked in the can will be found
piled up there in great reefs. He wants to
g .tablish colony there. He oxpec to
start for it every week but some one
who is going with him always fails to
come up to time. lNve to fire Lin
out every onco in awhile.
There's another fellow that you II
probably SEQ tonight, that has great
idea Of catching porpoisc'. There was
something in the papers some time ago
about those mammal making most cx-
ccllent food. and he has been working
ever since on an invocation which ho
claims will cnabl man to swim right
through tho water after school o. por-
po;scs and spear as many OF them as no
wants. The rig he shows is quite a
curiosity. There is thing shaped like
the tail OF a founder VIII CHI the MAJ
pulls up over his legs to the knees,
where 1t Ia fastened; then along each
side of the th .st and fastened over the
shoulders are rubber Lclis that can be
inflated to sustain the weight OF the
body, and he claims that by kicking II 8
feet up and down, initiating the motion
of a founder, he can skim through the
water as fast as any fish, and, with II
lance. follow up and LAY as many sea-
hogs rs ho wants. All he wants is n
little more money to perfect the np.
paratus, viii, h. of course, is sure 10
work. y. Herald