Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-26
BRIGHT BITS.

ANEW YORK girl committed suicide because
her mother would not let her so to skating
rink. We have our doubt about her reaching
a skating rink in that way-at least not an ice
rink-Teods Sifttn9S.
SENATOR RIDDLEBERGER is said to be IN ex-
cellent health. Then there is no truth in the
absurd rumor that he va recently kissed by
Senator Malone. We didn't believe 1t at the
time. But as for little M ahone--hOw is he?-
Nel0 York Graphic.
IT didn't afford us much consolation last
week, when the thermome ter was celebrating
IT'S centennial, to reflect that, according to the
belief OF scientists, 1.-THE sun is losing Its heat"
Our earth seems to find all the heat the sun
loses.-Norrtst0t0n Herdld.
Mr.. BLUE-win you play tennis with me,
Miss Azuref Miss Azure-Oh, thank you. |
should be delighted. But hadn't you better
ask Mr.. Black? He s splendid PLAYER, ana
has beaten me awfully. Mr.. Black-Ah, you
iatter me, Miss Azure. 1t was really nothing,
you know.-B0st0a Beacon.
BROMLEY bought little painting yester-
day-quite gem-cost me $500. Pretty steep.
wasn't II? Perkins-Rather; still, not very
steep. Your sou-in law, De Bags. has a
p hitting that must have cost him $4,000. Good
gracious! / never knew that. / must have a
look at it,. Well. the next time you meet him
take good look at his nose.-PhiIddelDhia
cal.
Now" said a college professor. "before
begin, want some one to give me his idea of
an angel The young men looked at each
other and snickered, but no one said anything
Dear me- said tn good man, has no one
bOOkworm of the class, "Luc err was the maA
that started the German refOrmatiOn.''-
Anon.
COwBOY-"Stranger there's some good men
in this gang. you betcher life Do you see
that quiet. inoffensiVe little man over there?
You wouldn't think, TO look at him. that he'd
killed his dozen or more men; would yOu?"
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES gracious, no! 4as
heP
Cowboy-''You bet pard: he's doctor"
Tenderfoot-"0, l see, ''-Chtca0o Rambler.
ANSWER to Observation-Disclosures st.
Oker: You wish 20 straw how the splendid
ham which YOU have taken with YOU to the
seaside is to be preserved from the flies. We
advise you to rub the ham thoroughly with
petroleum every day, and then to sprinkle it
with mick LAYER of insect powder. This
approved domestic recipe will not onlv keep
off the flies. but all ether unwelcome intrud-
.-Briefkastea.
'IF there's anything ANNOYING in our bust
ness remarked a barber. as he beheaded a
plmple upon the face Of his favnrite customer;
"if there's anything annoying in our bust
ness, II is to have amug customer so blamed
| irregular In his habits that you can't use his
mug on tTansients with any KIND of peace ;"
| The fayOrite customer mentally resolves upon
/ being regularly irregular N his shaving habits
hencetorth.-BostoaI Transcript
! scENE-A court at Nisi Prius. Counsel,
] holiSiNoINs WITNESSES. anu tue pubic awaiting
/ the arrival OF the Judge. Enter the assOcia te
/ to announce that Mr.. Justice Mud Ter Will
| be unable % attend: on his wav to the court
/ his lordship had slipped on piece of orange
peel and had to he picked up and carried
/ back to his house with a sprained ankle
1 General CONSERVATION, amidst which Cock
| sure, @. c., rather audibly observes to his
| learned jnnOr: well. / don't see ANYTHING
/ TO make such n fuss about; it isn't the first
/ time he's been reversed on appeal" London
tit Bits.
AN EDITOR in PittsbITg. Pa. is advocating
! the establishment Of free baths there. He is
evidently new conner. and his zeal
| is probably prompted by the supposition
He will get used to it. If he vs. there a
few wears he viii be as unused to anything
] which looks clean as was the Cincinnati
| woman who visited her friends in New Eng
/ land after an absence of several years. she
forgot about the ssft coal SCOT which disco ors
everything out on the Ohio. ana wondered
! how everybody she visited happened to have
/ Just bought new carpets for all The rooms
Peoria Journal
SOMEBODY gays that ''man = the only ami.
NAL that blows his nose" The alligator has a
nose nearly two feet long, YET he never blows
/ IL; the elephant can reach over his nose aud
/ tickle his hiad legs. and he often does, but he
never blows il. The blue-nOsed bab0On has 2
| ceruleHn prOboscia OF which the nObiest ami
NAL must feel proud, but IL goes unhown.
/ The double nosed pointer has immense e. pac-
| ity for nj wing. hut he never viii; and the
| Oyster. who nose reaches clean round to his
| back. refrains from exercising IL. Man alone
1 has 10 reach 10 the height Of n pocket hand
| kerchief. and he proudly waves his handana
as sufficient proof OF his superiority. For