Daily Republican., 1885-11-11
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT

""'o' noieily INTO the room and inter
fupted her sweet meditatiuns. go
along, yon little brat /" she shouted, and
seiking him by the arm, she shot him
through the door. "Ah, no." she sigh |
cd, AS she resumed her interrupted train |
or thought, my love for George 10 not
sisters love. u is sweeter, purer,
higher and holier."
Young artist, to friend who has re-
Gently furnished bachelors cham bars Il
" Charley, my dear boy, l admire your
taste. / see you have little thing Of
mine banging there" Friend "No
Did you paint that ?" Young artist Il
" Yss I'm proud to say It's from my
brush. BY the way, Charley, If II is a
fair question, what did the dealer charge
you Tor u 2" Friend " Well-er-toI
tell You the truth, old man, the dealer
threw that picture in"
A young lady who was neither witty
nor beautiful, but was firm y persuaded
she was both, observed In select COM
pany to a young gentleman Of her &C
quaintance "Our hostess has shown
admirable taste In inviting none but
the haLdeomest ladies' don't you think
NJ "' a." Certainly" was the reply, 81
made the same observation when you
were not here"
Mr.. Dusenberry "Are you going
shopping, my dear? Don't forget TO
get that dress. You must have check.
| Il will be 30 becoming" Mrs. Dusen
berry +: How kind you are TO day l
felt timid about asking you for IT,
Asking me for what, dear ?" " Why,
the check. Let 1t be q large check
| There's dozens of things that / want To
buy"
! You don't say that Tom Russell ia
going 10 marry Miss Mollie Penderby?"
Yea, that's what they say" Why,
she's u perfect inantiy-she hasn't got
a mind Of her own" "That's Just the
reason he's marrying her. He loves q
tquiet lite, and rs she hasn' got mind
OF her own she can't be eternally giving
him piece Of IL"
| :" notice." said one lady to another,
I" that at our social gatherings you are
always the last one TO leave" 81 know
It," was the reply. 81 have an object
in view" WHAT Is It To-" 81 want
to prevent the rest of you from SANDER
ing me "Oh, you mean thing you
never like TO see your friends enjoy
themselves.
| my dear" said wife who bad been
married three years, as she beamed
scrose the table on her lord and master,
toll me what first attracted you to me.
What pleasant characteristic did pos
sess which placed me above other women
in Your sight 20 And her lord and
III as,er simply said 81 give it up"
You first see that the pan is well
creased" ooh, of course - "Thei
you put 1t in the oven" "Yes." ain
an hour it will be Handsomely Drowned
on the top" But you haven't na med
the Ingredients "Oh, the ingred lent,
are of no consequence. Almost any
thing will do"
"Why, Timmins, who are you In
mourning for 2" asked NEEDLE, upon
seeing Grape ON his friends hat. Tim
minis: "Why, you see, my wife's frs
husband, from whom she was divorced
Is Just dead, and l can't do lees out Of
respect TO her feelings"
"Don't you think, dear" she said
az she paused moment In her packing
" that we ought to take a few books
| with US to Eastbourue 2" "You can dc
as you like" he replied, calmly "bul
the only book that shall need Is my
pocketbook.
At negro wedding, when the min
lister read the words, "leve, honor and
LOBBY, the groom interrupted him and
said /: :" Read dat again, sab read II
wunce mo-, SOS de lady kin ketch the
full solemnity Of de meanin'l I'se been
married befo'"
Said the landlady, pensively cycling
tho healthy boarder: These new pota
toes cost twice ss much as the othel
kind" "Thst's all right" responded
the healthy boarder, "they are twice Al
lgood, and We eat twice as many o.
them"
A woman cured her husband OF stay
/, ing out late at night by going to thu
DOR when he came home, and whisper
ing through the key hole /: L" Is that yot
Willie 2" Her husbands name Ia John
and he stays AT home every night now
"Moses was the meekest man" say
a paper. Moses may have been tn
j., III ekest man, but that was years ago
!, The meekest man alive to-day Ia tn
manager Of the woman with the iror
Jaw. He is also her husband.
Il (Which do you like best, Mis-
81 Florence, rowing or driving" b,
"Oh, driving. by all means !" why
4 [" Because you have to use both hand
r to row 70 They went driving.
IL Ayoung woman, In leaving an omni
bus, dropped q ribbon from her bonnet
!. II" You have left your bow behind" sal,
q lady traveller, No, naven't-he'
goue a fishing!" innocently replied tn
ldamsel.
"Hullo, Dick, been to the lecture o.
inquired friend, as they met abou
Ieleven o'clock in the street, outside
Dlpublic hall. mo, but I'm going t,
one now" replied Dick, as he mad
for home.
ri A Sea View. Passenger Captain
!. how far are we from land?" Cap, ain
H. About two miles" Pass enger: Blu
( can't see 1t. In what direction il IT.
Captain: " Straight down, sir"
A wise correspondent says only on
r woman in a thousand can whistle.
This probably results from the fact tina
| 40 long as o woman can talk she doesn'
care 10 whistle.
Hungry guest How Is this?
,, ordered a steak and coached egg.
J sec the egg but were ID the steak
lSabie attendeni: "DAt's all right, sab
De steak AIN under dc egg''
i "All alone, my dear child. In
J afraid that husband of yours neglect
you terribly! He is always at his ciu
when / call" "Yes, mamma bu
; he's at home at all other tunes !"
Mamma Don't you think, Emma
you are getting too old to be playin
with boys so much" Emma:
b know 1t, but tho Older ! get the better
like them -
y When can a man be said 10 b
g plunged In the lowest possible depth
: of i'm peonniosity ? Wei, when. 20