New-York tribune., 1885-07-11
HIGGINS.

why so much Higgins For many days the
columns of the Mug wump press have been IN an
eruption of Higgins" all broke ont with him.
so 10 speak Conversation in political circles
has largely hinged OH Higgins Ardent advo-
Gates OF reform who went ont ot the Union
to save it, and came back under the Constltu-
ton TO preserve it, and have been waiting
patiently twenty years To get inside the Gov
ernment to reform it, clink their glasses TO the
health of Higgins mild-nlanncred persons who
voted for Cleveland in expectation of the
millennium say softly 10 each other as they
meet: @Nery unaccountablc this Higgins
prominent and influential Mugwumps who gave
bonds, as it were. for Cleveland muttcr
. Higgins be banked as they stride away
from the bulletin boards; correspondents at
Washington serve up Higgins to their readers
fried, roasted and stewed, barbecued. fricaseed
and " Maryland style" Higgins fills all.ot Secrc
tary Manning's waking thoughts. and through
the Presidential nightmare a rampant, hideous
Higgins stalks. A sickly Iiigginsy hue per-
vades the whole atmosphere of official life. AT
the whisper of Higgins's name men who have
grown gray in the public service turn pale and
drop their pens, and at his step in the corridor
a whole department of the Government iluttcrs
like a coop of fancy poultry at the predatory
Africans approach. At the front door Of the
Administration stands Higgins with the flaming
sword Higgins is cmblazoned on all its
portals.
Upon this situation the Republican looks
with philosophic composure; the venerable
Bourbon views it with chccrfuncss bordering
on harity; the Administration puts on an air
of embarrassment aud arrogance, while the
Mugwump walks up and down in the greatest
excitement and hows Higgins till he is
fairly red in the face But why, men and
brethren, why all this pother about Higgins!
Strange that the Mugwump who was omnscient
during the campaign aud expected 10 be
omnipotent in the Administration cannot grasp
the situation The methods OF Higgins are cx-
trcmcly simple his mission, to the dispassion-
ate and reflective mind, is equally plain. Hig-
gins is the break water of the Administration
On his broad shoulders all the tumbling waves
of criticism break while tho Administration
rides behind him safely, almost untouched by
spray. The Mugwump deiugcs him with
abuse he laughs and throws it OF with glee
Remove Higgins !" cry the Mugwumps. He
4" is an improper and bad person. He is not re-
forming the Government in the way we adj
true returns Grover Cleveland, rclloctively,
after two or three months consideration, he
is not 50 proper rs he ought to be, and have
no idea how he got there. | disappr0vo OF
Z" him myself. He has been the cause of all my
u mis- takes. AS soon we get ali the offensive
spartisans out and the Great Reform fairly
under way, III get rid of him." Doubtless he
will-by giving him a better place.
The Mugwump in his madness does great in
Justice to Higgins who is really the most use-
fu member of the Administration. It will not
be denied by the Mugwumpiest of Mugwumps
that some mistakes have been made in the mat
ter of removals and appointments, but no con-
sistcnt Mugwump will admit that the Admin.
istration has done or can do wrong. Higgins
makes all the mistakes. That is his mission
TO make mistakes for the Administration. He
has taken the contract and is dschargng it
with fidelity and zeal. Whenever n MugwumD
makes complaint to Secretary Manning that
the wrong rascal has been turned out or put
in, tho Secretary scratches his eyebrow thought
fully and says "rhis must be one Of lIg-
gins's mistakes. I'll have il attended TO-"
When the Mugwump lays his grievance before
the President the latter lays his forennger on
his nose and says "Obviousy "a case of lIig-
gins I'll see Manning about it," That's the
end of it, but Higgins stands up and takes the
cussin that comes OF it, like little man.
Higgins Is an experiment; but so far very
successful experiment. No doubt there will
eventually be a Higgins in every department.
Attorney General Garland is In great need of
Higgins at this moment; Higgins in Sccre-
tary Lamar's department would greatly relieve
that functionary, aud Postmaster-GeneralV Villas
cannot do without one much longer. Then
there's the Navy Departmental makes us sad
to think how much Secretary Whitney has
suffered from not having Higgins Of his own
to manage the Dolphin business. The truth is,
what the Administration needs more than any
thing else is not to get rid Of this particular