The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1885-07-07
A WICKED JOKE.
How a Practical Joker Played 1t on
His Friend.

WOhOer WQdt ID Tue tIOuUte UetWeeD
Puffer and Gambol and Sloan. They |
hate him like poison" remarked the |
Judge.
"Haven't you heard ?" inquired the
Major.
mo; what is i, ?"
"You know what q terrible hand Puf-
fer writes? Some one told him once
that be wrote distingue hand, and it
Get him up so that he now writes worse
than ever. Well, that happens to be his
sensitive point. He prides himself on
II. Gambol has a weak point, too-his
eyes. He can't help being cross-eved,
but 1t worries him ell the came. When
be goes to the theater he sits with his
hack to the stage to see the performance
He is first-rate fellow, though. About
q month ago, Gamhol asked Sloan to
introduce him to Puffer. Now. Sloan
can't help playing practical joke any
more than he can live without eating.
f'I'll arrange that for Tomorrow, an
swered Sloan; but you had better take
pad of paper and Q pencil along With
you. He is as deaf as post, poor fel
low. He cant even hear the foreman
swear at bis copy. He is terrible sensi-
tive shout it, too. So when you meet
him just act as il you knew all about it.
III see you at his Office at noon to-mor-
row.
A few minutes later Sloan was seated
10 the editorial rooms OF the Leader.
II want to hiring friend up here to
meet You tomorrow" he remarked to
Puffer.
"'Glad to meet any friend Of yours,
responded the editor.
"'He is friend OF yours too, replied
Sloan. He greatly sdmires your edl'
torials. There is one popularity about
him, though
"'What's thstp'
"He's deaf as q clam. He can't heal
it thunder. He doesn't know It's rain
ing until he misses his umbrella He i:
very touchy on that point, and you had
hetter have some paper and pencil
ready for him when he comes and act q,
il you always knew he was deaf. /
will make him feel easiet.'
"The next day at noon Sloan and bi,
visitor entered the Leader office. Puffel
was waiting for them. Sloan took thei
cards and gave Pufer's to Gambol. ant
vice versa. Both men smiled at eacl
other encouragingly, and, producing
pads OF paper big enough to write
Presidents message on, sat down be
side the editorial desk.
"'l am glad to meet you,' wrote Put
; fer, on his pad.
"Gambol took the scrawl and looke'
at it, first cut OF one eye and then ou
; Of the other. A puzzled look came owe
his face. Finally he turned the pape
upside down, and light of intelligenc
, broke upon his countenance. Takin
up bis pencil, he wrote:
"'I am exceedingly sorry to hear II
, Did you ever try Simpsons extract
. and handed it hack to Puf1er.
! when Puffer read this his mout
: opened with astonishment He took hi
pencil and wrote on The bottom of th
D sheet:
IL al don't want any extract. I am M
: sick / simply said 1 was pleased t
( meet you.'
"Then he showed the paper over |
o Gsmbol, and waited for reply.
a Gambol was puzzled at the first comml
Iuicstioa, be was 10 reality stricken dun
. at the second. He glanced appealing
q at Sloan. who was at that moment atte
. tively looking at a picture on the wa
a With bis handkerchief IN his mouth
:. smother his laughter. Finally be stru'
!, what seemed to him to be clue, and
!, wrote In reply:
- "'Yes, thanks, don't care II I do; b
i don't you think we had better 60
lunch first2'
"Thea he handed back the roll to 4
+ editor, and smiled smile Of mingl
ie self-sasisfaction and relief.
10 "When PufFer saw the answer hls d
le gust rose beyond his control. He ro
70 up 10 his chair, took the paper and BIS
Is !, ded it to Sloan.
".See here, Sloan! be shouted. IS
y what this grandson Of lunatic has VT
u ten This cross.eyed fool eviden,
doesn't understand his own language
i'd What in Tophet do you want to bri
r such a strabismic ass up 20 this Office
e' meet me for? Here. take this paper q
or write to him that l am sick to-day,
in dead, or anything. and don't want
On write any more; and the next time y
o bring deaf and dumb idiot up here
Sc see me just let me know and I'll run Q
i, of town for week or so,'
.".That's all right! yelled Gambol,
a be danced around the table; that's
Az right, hut il / wrote hand like yol
n. I'd print my letters I'd spell th N {
,le on my fingers. I'd hire schoolboy
ia write for me. I'd -
a. "say,' gasped Pahsr, 'ain't y
\. deafT
n. ",No,' replied Gambol, 'ain't you ?
~ "Then both men looked at each ot
,aI minute and simultaneously exclaime
!, Where's Sloan2'
.'But Sloan vas a wise man. He v
p- gone."-Puck.
~, His Loss was Her Gain.