davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11
@ @ o o @ O
{G} {A} {G}
-EGston Gazette.

-Eu5tO1t UdZ6tte.
LOck-jaw smote his swollen face
Life and Death then ran their race
And, oh how Life did strive to win;
But Death two lengths ahead came in.
The fish lie he did ne er atone;
His heart was hardened as stone.
He takes lonely journey DER
The stream of Death-the lie he bore
And stretched it from this wicked land,
To where in future he shall stand,
Filled with envy, clothed in fire,
This is the fate of the fisherman liar.
Oh let him rest-'tis better So
Nor O er the stream of Death do go
To bring back memories of the dead,
For Of this lie eAOugh's been said.
We sadly lay him in his bier
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Somehow or other, my boy, this old
world seems to be getting away past
me. / don't seem to catch on, some
how. Mr.. Beecher declares himself a
Cleveland Republican, then Mr.. Curtis
proclaims himself an Ira Davenport
Democrat, and now the Rev. Mangasar
Mangasarian declares that he is q Bob
IngeTsoll Presbyterian. / am just watt
ing day by day for old Garrison to get
out Of his grave long enough to declare
himself q pro-slavery abOlitionist, and
then / am going to join the Roman
Catholic Order Of American PrOtes-
tants and see if the Irish-Americans
can't do something for the American
Irish in English prisons. tell you
my son, these are stirring times, and q
man must be blind if he cannot feel the
low mutterings of distant thunder that
smells to heaven in the cimmeriaT
darkness of its glaring pOlyglOtery.
suppose it's all right, my son, but
don't understand it at all, and I'm
thankful that l don't, and that dom
desire to understand it, "for in mucl
wisdom is much grief, and he that in
creaseth knowledge increaseth sor
row. Robert j. Burdette.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11
The Canal Awards.

The commission appointed by Judge
Whitley to award damages to property
owners for land and privileges to be
taken by the Maryland and Delaware
Ship Canal Company in the cOnstruc-
tio1 of their work has finished its la
bOrs. The awards, and locations of
the property are as follows:
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Persons living in the country are Of
ten troubled with Overwork, or Oppress-
ed by the suns heat, bowel complaint,
ETC., and for this reason should always
keep on hand DIR. Henley's Celery, Beef
and Iron, as it is an excellent remedy
for such complaints. This wonderful
compound enriches the blood, and is
therefore an excellent invigorant and
corrective in cases above mentioned.
1t cOmpensates for loss of vitality,
and assists nature in hundreds of ways.
1t is very popular compound where
it has been given a trial. 1t can be OBJ
tanned of all druggists.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Ex-Financier Ward is now cheerfully
engaged in filing and filing stove cast
ings in Sing Sing prison. He is said to
prove an apt apprentice and will in
few days be able to do his work in a
proper manner.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

good PLAIN TRUTHS Chicago
Ledger: Some men will take more
time to name a dog than others would
spend in building house.
Josh Billings: Any man who ac-
cepts the office of first lieutenant in
his own home need not look for pro-
motion.
Louisville Democrat A low railroad
fare will shorten the distance between
two cities quicker than anything else.
NeiO Orleans PicGyune: The man
who signs himself Constant Reader"
is probably a fraud. No man can
read constantly.
Louisville Commercial: Careful rea-
ders of the newspapers have learned to
know that denials of interviews are
rarely altogether honest.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

f. L. Ingram, of Wilmington, sends
to the Scientific american the following
method of engraving egg shells, which
we reproduce for those of our juvenile
readers who may want to try the ex-
pertinent; Trace the writing or de-
sign on the shell with thin varnish or
melted wax, using a common pen !;
then immerse the egg for n few min
utes in vinegar or dilute acetic acid.
A few experiments will determine the
proper time, according to the strength
of the acid employed. Then wash the
egg in water, and remove the tracing.
Wax will rub off, and varnish will
come off with alcohol. The result will
be most beautiful and delicate relief
of the desired pattern. If varnish be
used, cOlored background can be
produced by dying the egg before APP
plying the alcohol. Wash the egg be-
fore dying it, as the acid would ipjurC
the cOlor.-SuAday Star.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11
Josh Billings.

There il some phOlks in this world
who spend their whole time in hunt
ing after righteousness, and kant find
emmy time tew practise it.
Whenever a minister haZ preached
sermon that pleaZes the whole congre-
gashun he probably haz preached one
that the Lord won't endorse.
Lazyness il IL good deal like money
the more man haZ Of it the more he
seems tew want.
One of the hardest things for emmy
man tew do il tew fall on the ice when
it il wet, and then get up and praise
the Lord.
1t kosts good deal tew be wise, but
it don't kost emmy tew be happy.
"The luxury Of grief this, take
it means to have yure old unkle die
and leave yu $4,000, and yu cri.
Buty that don't make a woman vain
makes her very butiful.
Advice il like kastOr lie, easy enuf
to Civ but dredful uneasy tew take.
l think a man should hav a little
vinegar in hiz dispoisition-just
enough to keep the flies off.
Buty il like bukwheat kakes, amt
good kOld, nor warmed up mex day.
A puppy plays with every pup he
meets, but old dogs have but flu assO-
ciates
Living on hope IL lik living on wind,
good way tew git phull, but a poor
way tew git phatt.
don't care how much people talk if
they will only say it in pheu words.
PLUM PITS.
! If we give up our minds to little
/ things we shall never he fit for big
/ ones. | knew man once who coud
ketch more flies with a swOop of his
hand than ennyhOdy else could. But
he want good at ennything else.
There is only one good substitute
for the endearments Ov a sister and
that IL the endearments OV sum other
phellow's sister.
About the hardest thing a phellow
kan do IL to spark two girls at Onst and
preserve Il good average.
Going to law ia like skinning a new
milk COW for her hide and giving the
beef tew the lawyers.
If man haint got well-balanced
head like tew see him part his hair
in the middle.
| had rather undertake tew be two
good doves than one decent sarpent.
Angels handle the dice when dOub.
lets are thrown in the cradle.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Neuralgia pain is usually of an intensely sharp,
cutting or bnrnining character, and is either con-
stant or intermittent To relieve this torture and
effect speedy and Permanent cure rub thorough
ly with Salvation OIL, the greatest pain cure on
earth. Price 25 ceuts bottle.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Eternal vigilance is the price of
fruit. With the borer, yellOws, blight
and insects of all kinds to combat, no
one can make fruit grow successfully
who does not watch his trees and give
them un0easing care.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

These awards, as the decision of the
commission, are not final and the
owners who feel that the commission
has not given them enough for their
property or has failed to assess just
damages, may yet appeal to a sherih's
jury, submit evidence, and employ
counsel in setting forth their claims.
There are probably two or more of the
property owners mentioned above who
will by this means endeavor to get
what they deem just compensation for
the damages incurred.-MiddletOOn
Transcript.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

The druggist who hesitates now is lost for the
Winter He should sling together some sweet oil
at once. DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup does not pay
him enough profit.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Iowa a last Fall cast $4,000 votes
and elected eleven Congressman. South
Carolina, Georgia and Mississippi to-
gether cast less vote and elected
twenty-four Congressman.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11
THE ACORN.

Hear the merry acorn drop,
Zip-ty-Zee
From the Oak-tree's towering top,
Zip-ty-Zaw!
Through the foliage he cleaves,
Zip Zipl
Bounding on the bed of leaves,
Zee-Zaw
Short he is and round and fat,
Pretty thing,
With a Tam-O' -Shanter hat
On his head.
This he wore from day of birth
In the Spring.
Dotted it not to Mother Earth
Quite ill-brcd.
But he has a brother, much
More polite,
Who his hat will always touch
To the fair;
When he meets Dame Earth, some day
Or at night,
He will throw his hat away
And go bare.
Columbus Dispatch
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Mrs. John Scotten, III nushong st.
Chester, Pa, who had been deaf for 10
years was CURED with Brazilian Balm.
The third day after commencing its
use she heard the clock tick.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

There is a growing tendency for
making sleeves and bodices of differ
ent material where the costume is
combination affair.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Brazilian Balm is splendid. It has
cured all our colds quickly and kept
the children well all Winter" Mrs.
COyde, us Walnut st. Wilmington,
Delaware.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Cloth or felt hats are worn with
cloth travelling costumes and match
the shade of the material perfectly.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

A PROPHECY FOR 1S86-Some one
has unearthed an old prophecy for the
year 1886 of decidedly uncomfortable
character. 1t appears that in the
church of Oberemmel, near the city of
Greveri, in Germany, there is stone
tablet some centuries old, on which is
cut the prophecy verse in prose it
may be rendered
"When Mark shall bring us Easter and
Antony shall sing praises at Pentacost and
John swing the censer at the feast of the
Carpus Domini, then shall the whole earth
resound with weepings and wailings."
Now, it so happens that next year
Easter falls on st. Marks day, Penta-
cost on that of St. Anthony of Padua,
and Corpus Domini comes on st. John
the Baptist's day, June 24th. Here,
than, are the first conditions of the
prophecy fulfilled, so that now believ-
ers in prophecies and anxious-minded
persons generally have only to sit down
and think of everything disagreeable
that can possibly happen to this poor
planet and the dweliers thereon be-
tween January and December, 1886
And, really, it the cyclones and earth
! quakes and epidemics and "wars and
rumOrs of wars of the years 18S2-3-4-5
are to be eclipsed, the prospect is an
agreeable one.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

A new cloth called "Irish lustre
frieze check y has been introduced, and
it is said to be in fair way to become
popular.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

The cause of temperance, like q
pump-handle, has its ups and downs
NelO Orleans PicdyOuRe.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

A woman ran out of II house on
Beaubieu street the other day crying
" fire " as loud as she could yell. A
pedestrian who was passing by sprang
up the steps and into the hall, and be-
ing unable to see or smell smoke he
turned to the gasping and excited wo-
man and asked:
Where is the fire? l can't see any
signs of one"
I'll didn't mean fire! IL meant
murder y she replied.
"Is there a man in the house %
"No, SIR"
"Who tried to murder you?
"Oh, didn't mean murder, l guess;
but the awfulest, biggest rat you ever
sot eyes on chased our cat across the
kitchen and then stood and glared at
me like a tiger thirsting for blood
Oh sir, you'd better turn in a fire
alarm and let EN- kick in all the doors
and break in all the windows and flood
the house. The rat must be killed be-
fore he commits some terrible deed !'
Detroit Free Press.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

The coming Easter will fall on the
25th of April. This has not occurred
before since 1884, and will not happen.
again until 1913.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

The pretty girl is the one that has
all the trouble in this world.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11
a. ~ -
So let this fshu tale end here.

So let this tishy tale end here.
1t is not meet to slur the dead,
And heap abuse upon his head,
So let him sleep-the lasting sleep of death,
Sealed upon him by that fsh's awful
breath
This tale looks rather scaLy, we admit,
Yon can believe or not as you see fit.
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11
Furniture Of all kinds.

Parlor and Chamber Suits. Bureaus Bedsteads,
Chairs Lounges, Tables Stands. Mattresses, spring
Beds and every thing in the Furniture Line, guar
anteed at OF less than City prices for the same same
quality Of goods. Jan III
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11

Before he gets home the fish doth grow(O
And he tells his friends that it stretches out
Smyrna times., 1885-11-11
WHOLE NO. 1886.
THE TALE OF A FISH.

He has line so good and strong,
And catches a fish about so long.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
An Ashantee Gentleman.

Chronicle OF NO MANS Land.
The Ashantee gentleman has neither a fat
nose, nor thick lips, nor ebony skin. To take
Bossoonoga as a specimen, he is not darker than
many Spaniards, has features of the European
cast, and an eye that protrudes in the manner
adAired by French people, and called a fuer de
tete. His dress, even when a prisoner, as l saw
him, is a miracle of tastes unequaled since the
Roman toga vanished. One single piece
of cloth it is, a cotton print,
home spun and nome dyed. Your
native gentleman, whether from East or West,
would not condescend to wear Manchester stuffs,
and he is conspicuously right. To see Bossoono-
ga was to see a picture of antique grace. 1t was
a marvel how he kept so clean that sheet of cot
ton, adorned with blue arabesques and flowers
on a white ground. Nothing else did he wear by
day except the 'breech-clout," fringed with silk,
the ends of which fell below his knees. At night
he rolled it round him, and SO slept. but the
stiffening never went out of it, and its folds were
always statuesque. He looked a swell, every
inch, bright and wholesome. and courteous,
though tied by his wrist, and trudging barefoot
through the mud.
When permitted the use of a carriage ham,
mock {instead of walking chained to a common
soldier) Boosoonoga stepped into his conveyance
with acourteous bow toward the marine; through
my interpreter he expressed regret that circum-
stances over which he had no control forbade
him to reward Private Smith for his uniform
consideration" etc. The face of that gallant
soldier when he thoroughly mastered this part
ing shaft of politeness did one good to see. "Why
WHY" ne said, this ~nigger-he-oh, blow it!'
Words would not come to him fitting to describe
with his remaining c~aptives still In tow. Pri-
vate Smith had changed into a thoughtful man;
the sublimity of Ashantee manners had over
powered him.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
How He Proposed.

Chicago Ledger.
s'And so she wouldn't have your"
'Indeed, she wouldn't"
'How'd that Gomez"
"Well. / sat down alongside of her and took
her by the hand, as / heaved a sigh too deep to
sound"
"How was thatW T.
'It didn't make noise enough. You see, /
alwa's do my sighin' in'ardly, an breathe
through my nose to hide my breath"
well, what then?'
II felt her hand iutter in mine, an I could
hear her heart thumpin' like a Waterbury waoch.
l thought that meant say the word an I'm
yourn,' an SO l said it, but | got left"
"You don't tell me. How'd it happen7"
swell, she fired up like a hornet. an said she
wouldn't never marry no man what popped the
question as though he was referrin' to split
fish,"
"Well, that beats all. How in the world did
you do it,"
"Well, I sorter give her hand a little squeeze,
to show her | was cheerful, an then / says,
quite glib-like, says ], Miranda, can you stom-
ach meY'
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
"If We're Rich.o

One evening, passing along a crowded street,
/ heard one boy saying to another: 'If / were
rich / wouldn't@' and then the rest of
the sentence was lost as / hurried
wondered often since how that sentence was fin
ished. Did the boy say, IF / were rich I
wouldn't snub my poor relations or, IF / were
rich, / wouldn't spend all my money on myself
or, IT l were rich | v wouldn't work any more"
or what2
We cannot know, but there is one thing quite
certain. Whatever thar boy does, now
that he is poor, he would do if he were
rich. If he is generous now, ne would be
generous then. If he is mean now, he
now, he would work with fidelity then. For she
that is faithful in that which is least is faithful
also in much; and he that is unjust in the least
is unjust also in much"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

HUHUUH LttttI III fHHHUeIFHId DuII6IIHs
Before he left-the Prince / mean-he went
with the Princess to see Mrs. Langtry in Peril"
l wonder why. Hitherto II. r. Ri. has given
Mrs. L. and the Princes Theater a wide berth.
Perhaps some one informed his Royal Highness
that this was the best thing Mrs. Langtry played;
perhaps he OWNED that it would be. At any
rate he was there. AS a matter Of fact Mrs.
Langtry has done nothing as good as this.
Whether it is because she is at length thinking
and acting for herself, or more closely initiating
a good French model, | cannot say; but there is
the piece of work for us to admire, and a capital
piece of work it is. regarded as a whole, and
in parts deserving of cordial admiration. Mrs.
Langtry is, of course, far removed from Mrs.
Kendall in the impersonation, and not equal to
Mrs. Bernard Beere; but considering what we
have had to forgive in former representations
especially in Princesse Georges, this effort in
"Perip-especiaily in what is known as the
great scene-is in some respects a revelation.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
Dramatic Wreck.
PHILADELPHIA Times.

FNIIaUbIpHIa IIHitS.
that started out to devastate the American stage
have survived the storm and stress of the whole
season there are no statistics to show. Probably
the percentage is small. Fragments of various
to the cities, and new combinations are forming
for the summer, with the comforting thought
that, If the worst come to the worst, the walk
ing will be better than in winter. 1t is encour-
aging to learn that some of these companies are
already going to pieces before they have started
out. The immediate and absolute failure of
about ninety-ni and one-half per cent. of all
the theatrical organizations now in existence
would be the most hopeful thing that could be-
fall the American stage. Their ultimate failure
is inevitable, but it is weary waiting for q better
day.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
PalOmydes.

Him best in all the dim Arthuriad
OF lovers of fair women, him | prize
The pagan Palomydes. Never glad
Was he with sweetness of his lady's eyes,
Nor joy he had,
But, unloved ever. still must love the same,
And riding ever through a lonely world,
Whene'er on adverse shield or crest he came
Against the danger desperately hurled,
Crying her name.
So ], who strove to You l may not earn,
Methinks, am come unto so high a place,
That though from hence | can but vainly yearn
For that averted favor of your face.
l shall not turn.
No, I am come too high. Whate'er betide,
To find the doubtful thing that fights with me
Toward the mountainous | still shall ride,
And cry your name in my extremity,
AS Palomyde,
Until the issue come. Will it disclose
No gift of grace, no ply made complete,
After much labor done-much war with woesg
Win you deny nae still in heaven, my sweet
All, Death-who knowsg
Austin Dobson.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02

Pittsburg Dispatch.
There appears to be no use in trying to arouse
city authorities to action in the matter of health.
They allow careless, lazy and filthy people to
huddle together in miserable domiciles; there to
breed and disseminate disease until the cry of
outraged humanity or the stencil Of the iniquity
rises to heaven and calls down an avenging
scourge. Heaven frequently does for man what
he neglects to do for himself. but it does it in its
own vigorous and relentless way.
A few hundred dollars expended in sending
delicate, poorly-fed. uncared-for children to the
country may save the city from an epidemic
during the summer. A few more hundreds de-
voted to the removal Of families from cellars and
filthy hooks into which they have settled will do
more toward limiting the ravages of summer
diseases than as many thousands spent in check
ing the epidemic when once started. A few
hundreds could also be very advantageously ap-
piled to the destruction of old rookeries, filling
up damp cellars and renovating filthy courts.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The End of a Runaway Couple.

San Francisco Special.
Mr.. and Mrs. Porter Ashe have just moved
into their new house. on Van Ness avenue, one
of the fashionable residence streets of this city.
The house and lot cost something in the neigh
borhood of $500, 900, and the mansion stands as
the handsomest in San Francisco. Five years
ago Porter Ashe was a poor young lawyers
clerk, with scarcely money enough to buy him
self cigarettes. He met by chance Miss Amy
Croker, the pretty daughter of Mrs. E. 3.
Croker, of Sacramento. The two fell in love.
and there being a very decided opposition to the
match on Mrs. Croeker's part, the pair ran away
and got married. 1t was not long before Mrs.
Croker found them out, and, being a passably
rich widow, she forgave them and presented her
daughter with the trifling dot of 5000, 000
Then she sent them on a wedding trip to
Europe, and before they had left the State the
south going train on which they were passengers
was shattered to pieces in the terrible Tehachip-
pi disaster. Mr.. and Mrs. Porter Ashe were
among the very few uninjured; the young hus-
band performed ~prodigies of daring. and at once
rose into prominence as a hero. In Europe
they played my Lord and Lady Bountiful, and
came back with q shipload Of hangings, pictures
and bric-a brac. A house was necessary to put
all these valuables in, and again the kind
mammain-law came forward like the good fairy
and built them a house.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-05-02
The Rash Professor.

Sc. James Gazette.
A Scotch professor has made up his mind never
his students what a high opinion he has of the
asDead March in Saui.n Music, it should be ex-
explained. is the delight of his declining years,
and he puts the famous march before everything.
sKf q student he explained one unlueky day to
his attentive class, 'swere to tell me that he had
absented himself from his class in order to hear
the Dead March in SAUL would consider the
excuse valid This rash assertion was received
with cheers.
Next day the class we very thinly attended,
and the the lecture interrupted by the entrance
of the ~janitors with notes. Dear Sir" these
day, rs / am off to hear the Dead March in
SAUL Dear Sir-Having heard the Dead
March in Saul is to be played to-day at the
cemetery, / find myself unable to stay from it.
Hoping you we'll, etc. Dear Sir-You will be
pleased to hear that. after your remarks of yes
terday on the subject of the Dead March in
SAUL have bought a flute, etc. The poor
poor man bore up for a time; but the notes of
absence went from bad to worse. Dear Sir"
they began to read, II was yester-
day so fascinated by the Dead March
in Saul that I propose making a careful study of
this solemn measure. In these circumstances l
hope you will overlook my necessary absence
from the lectures for the next few days Dear
Sir-I regret that on first hearing 1t the Dead
March in Saul made less impression on me than
/ had expected AS / would be reluctant, how
ever, to judge the piece by such slight acquaint-
ance / shall, with your permission, attend 10
mor-ow's recital" And, worst OF all: Dear
Strive. the undersigned, have pleasure in in
forming you that we have joined a music class
for the purpose of practicing the Dead March in
Saul Unfortunately the practicing takes place
during the hour of your lectures, which VIII pre-
vent eur attendance ut the latter being as regu-
lar rs we could have wished.