Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1885-03-13
CHAPTER XII,


l hate looking back and re-reading words
which | had written while the impulse was
uponme: but fancy lave somewhere called
this tale confession if not, should have
done 50. 1t claims no more to be ranked as
a work of art thsl a work of Imagination.
How could it? 1t holds only two characters
"a man and woman. II treats but OF
their love and of q few months OF :helr lives.
Nevertheless, i'll telling it l have ell
deavored to conceal nothing. L have
hops, my fears, my sorrows, my love
and my Joys, Is they really were. have,
believe Suppressed nothing which could lead
any one to condemn my actions more strong
" than, it may be, they now condemn them.
NV wish has been to show myself as | was
then-no doubt am nova weak, selfish
man: vet for the love which be bore q
woman, one willing to risk fortune, life,
even honor. If / have failed in my attempt
to represent myself as such one, believe it
is not from intention, but from sheer i'll
ability.
But whether have so far succeeded Or
failed in my purpose know not; but know
that in this chapter | mus, perforce fail
The language rich and powerful enough to
serve my needs has yet to be invented The
writer who could i'll any fitting way repro
duee my thoughts has yet to be born.
And yet the chapter will be a short one.
1t will be but the records of a few hours;
but such hours Hours during which strug-
gled against a temptation to commit not
only crime but base, coWardly crime; q
temptation stronger. dare to think. than
poor human nature has as yet been subjected
to- Ny words sound bold but listen
Oh, that one morning! How well l can
remember it, Our breakfast was jls5 over
The auaint-shaped little tabln, with It's
snowy cloth throwing into reii4f the deep
colors of the luscious fruit upon il. still
stood i'll the ewnine-roofed patio. l was
alone, my mother and Philippa having re-
tired indoors to seq about some domestic
economy. | lounged lazily and at my ease.
rolleu as s'hi dii 50 f5r iy aroirlGy ia
proianing the blossom-scented air with to-
bacco smoke.
Then l took from my pocket The London
Times. which he'd arrived by the last post,
and listlessly set to work to skim is lengthy
columns.
had no fear as to what the paper might
contain. 1t was not from newspaper re-
ports that l arprehended Gaager. | had,
however, noticed that Fhilippa when she
saw me with a newspaper in my land, eyed
me anxiously AMI inquringly, so that gem
orally contrived to glance through it when
she was absent 1 never permitted her to
touch it until had read it; but my only
reason for this prohibition was at feared
lest some chance allusion to the mysterious
and undiscovered crime might distress her.
Her own far-fetchsd fancy that another
might be accused Of it gave me not mo-
ment'S uneaSiness. 80.
So l turned and doubled back the broad
sheets. [ ran down tt. topics of the day:
skinned the leading articles. glanced
at the fol elgn news; paid Scant attention 10
law reports, and disregafded altogether the
money-market intelligence. At last turned
my attention to the prov inclal news column;
A name caught my eye; cold shlYer or
dread ran through me. My cigarette fell
on the marble pavement, and lay there un'
needed, as, with agitation which no words
a short
placed under the heading of the principal
town of the county in which Roding was
situated. Read!
civilian Evans, the man accused of the
murder of Sir Mervyn Ferrand, Bart, III
January last, will be tried at these Assizes,
which open on the goth. The case, which
excites considerable interest, will be taken
on the first day. 1t is reported that although
fresh evidence against the prisoner will be
forthcoming it will be of q purely clrcum-
stantial nature"
Every word of thet accused paragraph
seemed like blow falling upon my head.
For some minutes l sat as one stunned. L
felt my teeth chattering. | knew that my
dread had come to pass! Another-an inno-
cent man--was bearing the blame of her
own mad act! Dazed, stupid, scarcely abs
to comprehend what must he the full effect
of what l had just read, I sat motionless,
with my eyes fixed upon that fatal sheet
The sound of my mothers pleasant voice
calling to Philippa at last awoke ne from
my stupor. They were coming. l could not
face them. l doubled up the newspaper,
thrust it into my pocket, and rushed cut into
the street. As yet had not dared toimagine
what this intelligence might mean to US 1
must have long hours Of solitude, in order
TO decide what course should be adopted to
fac this, the last, the worst PERIL.
] passed swiftly through the iron gate. l
went up the narrow street at a pace which
must have made all who saw me think me
mad. Whittier did 90? l scarcely remem-
Der. l think it must haze been to one of the
public gardens, but in that hour all sense of
locality left me. l went ipstmctively in
search of solitude. I found, know not how
Or where, some shady deserted spot There,
in the anguish of my heart, amid the wreck
of my sa1ad-Founded happiness, / threw my
self on the ground, and dug my finger nails
into the dry soil