Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1885-02-07
Etiquette Of Whist.

There are certain suggestions ana nOtes
relative to the manner of playing the
modern. scientific game of whist, which
we do not find in the dry rules laid down
by our best writers. While they tell us
the mechanical operations of playing
and how to make the most of the cards
held, they do not tell us what small talk
should be inserted between hands In
order to tighten the sombre routine OF
play. For instance. should the dealer
spill the cards on the floor while trying
70 shuttle them, many would not know
what to say in order to relieve him of
his embarrassment. You should at that
time ask him if you had Lot better pro-
cure a bushel basket for him to shuttle
in. This will! at once produce roars OF
laughter, and the game will proceed
smoothly. Mr.. Pole has omitted such
suggestions as these, and / have taken
the responsibility of naming few.
Should YOU wish to gain the esteem
and admiration of your partner and
other lovers of whist, occasionally ask,
whats trump" and yawn, so that the
PLAYERS may admire the filling in your
wisdom teeth. This shows your intense
interest in the game and gives your
partner perfect faith and childlike con-
fidence in your play.
The game may be greatly enhanced
by the hesitation of player when
new suit is introduced, and his bright,
crisp, and original remark that he'll be
hanged ifhe remembers whether the ace
of that has been played or not. This
will show every one that an Advise
Providence, seeing that you wouldn't
know what to do with an intellect if you
he'd il, saw fit to give yours to COW.
IF your adversaries gain the rubber
and one OF them does the scoring, make
the remark that it is half in counting,
and suggest that you will keep the books
yourself hereafter. This joke is still in
good repair, and you can now get it with
yoalr pack of cards and counters of any
first-class dealer. The game of whist is
very much frightened up by these re-
marks. aud would no more think Of
getting whist cards, etc, without securing
th Jokes that go with the pack, than
would 90 into the minstrel business
without "Noah's Joke Book" and Adams
great work entitled "Nlirth Without a
Master: or, Every Man His Own Dam
phool."
Should your partner trump trick
which is already your own, show your
superior knowledge of the game by abus-
ing her if she be a lady. This will con-
vince her that you are gentleman, and
that Won know more about the game OF
whistthan you do about common decen-
cy. The blood Of but one human being
is upon roy hands. 1t is the blood of a
man who played whist against me one
evening and scoded bis partner till the
tears came il her beautiful eyes. He
claimed that he had right to do so be-
cause she was his wife, but that didn't
make any difference with the coroner :
Jury. She makes mighty fine looking
widow, and / do not regret the part L
took in the tragedy.
There are two kinds of brute verte
brates. One wears hair and has the
decency to stay out of dens; the other
wears clothes and makes money and
insists on coming indoors and playing
whist and abusing his partner. One
hangs by his tail to forest tree and be-
HAYES himself; the other hangs by his
purse-strings to decent society and makes
himself obnoxious.
Should your mind wander while play
ing the game of whist so that you fool
ishly throw away trick, third hand,
take back your card and substitute
another, laughing merrily all the time.
Your remains will look much better
when arranged for the tomb if you die
with smile on your face. If you wish
to be loved by all who know you, and il
you wish to secure an early immortality
insist on throwing away tricks in third
hand, yawn till the top of your head
settles out of sight, and occasionally ask,
whats trump"
Lots of people of that kind have died
suddenly during the past five years, and
many thought their deaths were caused
by some secret society, but they were
not. It's getting 50 now that if man
plays whist that way, the life insurance
companies will not insure him, and
don't blame them. I'd as soon insure
the man who goes around with his coat
tail pockets full of Car bursting bombs
Bill Nye. .'.'i'