West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-07-17
LATE FOR DINNER.
A Conjugal Dialogue, Quarrel and
Reconciliation.

AT the Macy mansion the dinner hour
is six o'clock sharp. Mr. Macy. who
has been absent since morning, comes
home seven minutes late
Mrs MACY frot giCing him time TO
offer an e1cuSe) -"Well, when YOU rang
thought certainly it was the doctor. 1"
Mr. MACY (dngtously) -" The doc
tori Are you expecting him? What is
the matter?n
SHE suppose it has never en-
tered your mind that a woman, though
blessed with n constitution of iron.
might suffer from having her meals at
all hours of the day and night. Neither
would you call il being sick. suppose.
for her to sit and wait and worry, tor
mented by all kinds of coniectures and
fears; expecting every moment TO hear
that her husband has been crushed TO
death by a cable-car, or met with some
other frightful accident" "
(Bacy, tOho sees Mc storm con,i,lg,
tciSety remains Si'ent)
SHE-"Will YOU at least condesccnd
to answer the only question that shall
ask yOu?"
HE-" Assuredly, my dear"
SHE" Will YOU be good enough to
inform me if you intend to come home
at this late hour every night?'
He (doprcc0tingilO -" Surely. my
dear, you are not going 10 scold be-
cause am seven minutes late this once.
! was detained by business; but do not
ask what 1t was, for | promised not to
tell"
SHE" have no doubt that YOU will
be whole week late one of these days.
and will end, perhaps, by being away
from your family for years"
HE-"Pshaw, my dear! How alb
surdn
SHE absurd, is it? Why. it was
no later than last night that You were
telling me about the sca-Captain-La
Pcrouse believe his name was-who
left homo one day, promising TO return
at the usual time, and has never been
seen since by his unhappy family"
HE-"But this happened ninety
years ago"
SIE-"So much the worse"
HE-' Besides, don't you remember
that told you he was shipwreckodP"
SHE "Oh, yes; it is easy enough TO
say that n man was lost ut sea, especial
ly when he is not here to contradict
YOU. But don't think, wher YOU make
up your mind TO leave home forever
that You will be able to deceive me bv
some foolish story printed in the pa
perS, declaring, for instance, that YOU
have gone up in a balloon which has
never come down again; oh, no. / shall
not believe that story any more than
the one you tell to-day
HE-'I am sure | do not know 90
what story you refer, my dear.
SHE-"Oh, inueed? A man comes
home brimful OF mystery, and when
his wife questions him. when she vent
urcs TO ask him question, he responds
guardedly that IL is a sec ccret OH / am
not at all curious have not the
slightest desire TO know your wonder
ful secret Far be- it from me 10 try to
find out what perhaps would be the last
thing | should want to know"
HE-"Now, are you going 10 imagine
all sorts of foolish things, because l
happen to tell you that have been oc-
cupied with another mans business to
dayN
SHEA nice business IL must be that
n man dare not tell his wife You are
the greatest talker i'm the world away
from home, but it is simply impossible
to get word out OF you when you arc
alone with your wife"
HE-"But, 1 tell you, il is not my
secret"
excuse, that.
HE (irritated) Good heavens! How
exasporating a woman can be-
SHE-"A man never is-of course
not"
HE-"Wcll, for the sake of peace and
quietness I'll tell you the whole story"
SHE (WiM Me air Of aurt5yy) -
'Never mind do not care to hear it
now"
HE- why, confound Il, are you not
willing TO let me explain?'
SHE-" What is the use? You would
only invent something You arc very
good at that sort Of thing
HE-"Will you allow me To- speak?''
SHE can not prevent it, can IP
You needn't be so fierce"
HE (0bOW 10 cOnfcsO -'1''---
SHE-"But warn you / shall not be-
lieve one single tOOrd you say.
HE-"Then / may as wei remain
silent"
SHE (tyiUmphdnHO There what
did tell you? knew very well that
yOu wouldn't have anything to saw If
driven TO the wall. All! / understand
you
Ill., --- -.-- - - - r'.
SHE- ooh, certaiuly-swear. that
Just like q man. 10 viii give YOU more
time to invent q plausible story. too
HI OH n rage) ''Do you intend 10
let mo get a word in edgeways2"
SIP 'Oh, go on, go on your
humble servant is All attention.
Hg-"Well then. friend of miuc
who is on the verge of bankruptcy
came TO me This morning and begged
me 10 give him some assistance. aud
have been running about oil day trying
70 help him out. and even at last offered
myself as his security.
SUE-"ls that anP''