The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1885-06-26
moment. You are the man, Judge,
5-AfkunsaU Traveller.
Why He Was Bounced.

"Do you think you can sell dress
goods and ribbonsP" inquired Mr..
Nathan Waltrous, senior member of
the retail firm Of Waltrous & McGill,
Of Houston, Texas. The party adj
dressed was a ford young man with a
fiorid nose, florid m%oustache, and
fiorid hair. He was, in short, quite a
Florida youth. and his name was
Theopolis Duggan.
" reckon So" he replied.
ssCan you be suavep"
stWhichp"
"Can you support a becoming adj
dress in the presence of ladies-po-
likeness, suavity, you knowP"
"Oh, yes,"' answered Duggan, Sin
the last place | worked the boys all
said l was the suaviest man in the
troupe, and a rustler among custom
ers."
sWhat business was itP"
"Pumps-woodeE and iron pumps
and hydraulic rams"
"Quite a different line from dress
goods and ribbons"
SWELL, yes, but l amt afeared to
tackle EN-"
Mr.. Waltrous gave him a trial. The
boys in the store tabled him pumps
from the first moment OF his initiation
into the dress goods and ribbon de-
partment. The second day a petite
brunette inquired for some .'chicken
down" nuns yelling. Pumps COM
menced to sweat.
.sWhat color is it," he blurted out.
The girl only rewarded him with a
stony stare. Pumps rushed off after
a new stock of information and in
CURED
sis this a provision store or a butch
err shop?n
''Wfy?" asked a Que hundred and
fifteen pound salesman.
Because there's a gal there by the
show case who wants chicken down."
The one hundred and fifteen pounds
Of pure and adulterated suavity wait
ed on her.
"Snow me some elephants breath
cashmere said an elderly lady in
gold bowed s%pectacles. Pumps
dropped II roll of paper cambria, and
again started down the road after
some more information.
Whats elephants breath?" he
gasped. Hanged if ] amt thinkin'
I've struck a menagerie."
lit is a shade OF wooden goods
murmured another salesman, moving
up towards the elderly lady and sell
ing her a large bill.
''Bet your boots FL catch on said
Pumps, staggering before the glass
where ladies try on bOnnets and hats.
Another young lady interviewed
Pumps in the afternoon and said
You know soutache IN gray velvet
is considered very chic.''
cit is Just the chickiestthin agoin','
observed Pumps.
The young lady looked grieved.
Show me some giraffe colored cash
mere" she said quietly.
"Another animal wanted" mutter-
ed Pumps. breathlessly, as he reached
course, lost the sale.
.sShow me some cr~inolettes," de-
manded q spare woman with a cast in
her eye. Pumps was nonpulsed.
.IfI was you l wouldn't gets crino-
lette," he ventured.
..You wouldn't!!n sneered the lady.
..No, not at this season of the year.
I'd get q pair of striped stockings and
Q poke bonnet.
The lady walked out.
what did she want?" inquired Mr..
Waltrous, who had kept his eagle eye
on the proceedings.
.She was hankerin' after a crino.
lette,' said Pumps, land Idon't think
we have them IN stock
These are crinolettes," said Mr.
Waltrous. sternly, and pointing to
pile of garments.
Them! Why 1 took them for bas'
ball Masks" said Pumps.
"You will have to do better thar
this" remarked Mr.. Waltrous, i'm
pressively.
'tThere is a woman up at the from
end who wants some Apollonaris
Hadn'tI better &C out and get her
glass of %sellzer?'
Some more condensed suavity wait
ed on the lady and sold her a pol
onaise, a moliere waistcoat, an ostricl
feather fan, and ten yards of plum
coiored v%elveteen. Pumps was par
alyzed.
s.You fellows have got the thin
! down middlin' iine,'' he said, pullin
his yerlnilllon m%oustache before til
mirror.
evidently you have considerable I
learn in this business said the heat
salesman to Pumps.
I .All | ask is q fair show fc
8 my money! returned Pumps, d.
e jectedly.
What would you do if a lad
9 were to inquire for an importe
j~ersey?"
Z what are you giving us?" whine
Pumps. '.This is no stock yard (
: dairy farm"
THAT, my dear friend said IL
y head salesman, sis a short jacket il
/, troduced into this country by Mr.
r Langtry. What if she should inqui1
for a tournurep"
Q .sMe-oh-I'd-r
: THAT will do" shouted Mr.. Wa
trous, bobbing up from behind
bale of sheetirg; you can just tut
your back on this establishment, al
a hunt work in a lumber yard."-Ter
Q Siftin9s.
In the Days of Stage Coaches.
d A book recently published in En-
land, called the Royal Mail" tel
:" this story Of the old coaching days:
'sSpeed was Of the first consider
o ton, and the stoppages at the wa
side stages were of very limited d
IS ration. At an inn the travellers won
-Fl Ia. Il = &C.. - .~#-