The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-02-19
THE MERRY SIDE :!

The name of Phelan's assailant is Short.
So should his trial be.
| "n*
| It is no use for the English to say that
the Arabs have no sand. They haven't
much of anything else.
| -
| The dispatches received at the English
War Office for some days have been quite
gloomy. In fact, "as dark as Egypt"
The dynamiter says there is "no freedom"
in this country. No, not for his kind.
They are, or ought to be, tied by the neck.
The Portsmouth Tribune says "the Elec-
trio Light Company are preparing to pre-
sent bottom figures" Are they going to
the Skating Rink?
A Young man in Portsmouth stole red
hot stove and was acquitted last week in
Court. The jury perhaps found that he
did it the cheat" of passion.
There is an objection to Cleveland.
mouth. Thev would like to tap him and
find out what there is in him.
+.+
A Cincinnati Dntchman saws "there is
no pure beer made in Cincinnati" Well
it might he made little "purer." That is,
| it might be made to'stink little louder.
| One of the reasons why the Members
of the Ohio Legislature are shy about COM
ing in. is that preacher every morning
calls the attention of the Almighty to
that body.
The British Colonel, Wilson, wrecked
on an island while attempting to relieve
Khartoum, has been rescued. after his
troops had been almost Nile-ated.
| James G Pusev robbed the till of the
Kansas Penitentiary, and lit out for Tex
as. Now he is back, and the hovs are sing
ing: "Pnsey cat, Pusey cat, where have
you been2"
Mrs. Lucille Dudley claims that in shoot
ing O'Donovan Rosa she was "giving
him a pill from his own Pharmacv." And
she might have trnthfully added that it
physicked all the courage out of him.
".
Mr.. Thomas A. Hendricks is making
himself manifest in the Sunny South just
now. There is wherehe would have been
during the war, only the Northern boys
were making so much noise that it was
unpleasant
A stock-raiser said he believed in "water-
cure" 1t was "no use to tell him that a
little salt and plenty of water did not in
crease the weight of the cattle. because
anybody who had bought cattle of him,
knew better"
One of the weights which threw the
trap of the scaffold on which Luke and
Bill Jones were hung, is now doing duty
as door weight at the fire-engine house.
But you must not think there.is any pc
culiar significance in this.
The Irontnn papers are talking of quit
ting the carrier system. and sending the
papers through the Post"fice. The latter
plan has wonderful MISUNDERSTANDING
others. when a man fails to get his paper,
he cusses the Postmaster instead CT the
publisher.
A man at Hanging Rock, Lawrence
County, went to Grocery, crawled under
the fnor, bored up through the floor and
the bottom of whisky barrel, and caught
dog-leg enough to last him month: This
will only cause the dealer a slight incon-
venience. He has probably plugged the
hole filled the barrel with rain-water and
pepper, and is ready for business again.
They were sitting, Augustus and Ma
tilda, talking of their future prospects. He
was sinking gas well, not far away. and
was enlarging. enthusiastically, upon his
bright prospects for the future. Suddenly
there was a great commotion under the
house, where the dogs had tackled a luck
less and solitary polecat Leaping to his
feet and throwing his arms around her,
he fairly shouted:
"Glory! Glory, Tillie, they've struck it!
Theirs II natural gas flowing, in paying
qnantitiesl Can't you smell it, darling?"
And hastily eXcusing himself he rushed
off to find how the boring was progress
11C "Cdlo a lara" dy 4OOhs hOW, Nv
cause the next time she saw him, she ask
ed, with straight face:
Say, Gus, didn't they bloao out the gas
over there the other night?"
Out in the country, few miles from
Jackson there resided, a few years ago,
man who was what the world calls 'do-
less" who had very industrious wife.
While he was drinking up what little mon
ey he earned from time to time, she toiled
and saved for her own support. One season
she leased a piece of ground and raised a
fine patch of corn. Her husband was in
debted in small amount, and when the
woman came with team and teamster
to haul away the corn which she and her
children had huSked out. the owner OF the
land ordered her away, claiming that he
would hold the corn for what the old
man owed him.
But l must have it for myself and
children" said the wOman-"1 hoed it and
worked it, and it is my property. Let
the old man pay his own debts"
"You can't go in there" said the man,
get away from here with that team"-
"Yoa get away from here!" yelled the
woman, seizing club and making rush
at him. The man only remained long
enough to "catch her eye" and see that she
meant business of serious nature, then
took to his heels with a speed which rem
dered it impossible for any woman, or any
club, to overtake him. The good woman
went on peaceably and collected her corn
and had it hauled home. The owner of
the land was good at advancing theory,
but the old lady beat him on fact.
A discussion was engaged in at one of
our business houses, a few dayS ago with