Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-04-04
rHE rELMPnONn OoMEDY.
How Crossed wires Pr queutly create
UnpIeasant eiuuders--A & a~e IN Point'
E,r,,, n. Mem Yora WorH

UnpIeasant eiusders--A a~e in Point
From, the Eeln Yore WotN.
Tae telephone as probably he only sue
,,essful attempt ever made TO reduce ~
ing TO a scientific system. You can now
tel the mos; prodigious whooppers-- pour
theri into YOUR wife's ear, in fact, and get
rid Of the whole difficulty OF biushing'
sfamnering and otherwise betraying
uilty conscience. The skating RINK "
self must sing very small as an immoral
aornt bv the. sid. al the telephone. Toe
undisturbed serenity with which the Vola-
tile stock broker, with the PIPE IN one
hand ana "A ballet-girl in the other can
send word by means of this Infamous az
com9Ice TO his wlle az home that ne VIII
be detained very late AZ u office Win lul-
portant business IS remarkable
hus standardization! Is that you, my
deary
husband Well. don't wait for me to-
nignt. I've got "A lot OF important oills TO
attend to. Soto yoce, and taking the
plpe away from his ear-Iheatre bills
shall be awfuuy busy. Don't sit up.
Wife-Hm real sorry.
Husbaud-All right. Good-Dy.
Wite-Halloo!
Husband Well, what's the matter
now? looking al his watch).
Wite-Say, will you have much TO do at
the Office?
wfully busy.
Wite-~hau't 3e able to get away from
the office III late:
Hus oand-That's what said. Good-by.
Wue-HauOo!
Northumberland ails you? Can't you
understand: Eve got to get back to the
Wiie-Yes. Youn be kept there till
HIusband-Confound it! that's what I
said.
Wife-Where?
Husbaud-At the office. Good-by.
Wife-Wait moment.
HusDand-i can't do it. What do you
want?
Wie-I only want to say III come down
and wait for you. Then you Will not nave
10 come home IN the dismal morning air
all alone. Good-by.
Husband ualloo, halIoo! wait a mo-
moment. Are you thereI All right.
Don't come down. This is business. /
may have TO 20 up to the FHta Avenue
Hotel to see some bankers from Chicago.
GOod-by.
Like all such infamous things, this
comes home to roOst. About three day,
later my lady finds a programme of the
i
coat. She looks at the Uate. She re-
members that he wore the spring over
coat on that night. Hhen she takes the
telephone into her confidence, and her
second cousin, who is an old dame, into
her heart.
Wfe-Halloe Is that you, John?
Husband-Nes, it's me. WHATS the
matter?
Wife-Are you coming home to dinner
tO-nghtY
us5and-Certainly I'm played out;
SHAH surely be there. Why?
Wfe-Only Pm going over to mothers
10 spend the evening. Try and make
yourself comfortable. You needn't come
after me, for l may have to 90 to the
Fifth Avenue Theatre to see a dressmaker
from Chicago. GOod-by.
STAND BACK FROM THE PIPE.
Under the circumstances the attitude
OF the husband al the telephone is said
20 be picturesque especially If he has in
tied a friend TO 60 home to dinner with
nm. Aud here comes in the deyiIiSh mi
quity of the telephone. once that you
commit Yourself to It's devious ways
there is no telliag to what depths Of dis
aster you may descend. The husband
immt diabely PUSHES to another Telephone
and then the wires get crossed. When
this RaPPsBs ali is lost, as perhaps you
know if you have been there. 1t IS a
great deni better to be crossed in love
than crossed in the transmission of it.
Hushand-is that you, my dear?
Wife-Yes.
Husband-Are you alone?
Wife with a flash OF triumph IN her
eye Yes. just at this moment Pm get
ting ready to 20 out.
husband d MT go. III be up at 6
O'Clock. The Old woman has got on to
our racket the other night and is on her
ear, and she's just sent word that she's
going 10 her mothers tonight. It's clear
spite. Do you catch on?
Wife-Certainly / do. Where does she
think we went the other night?
Husband-0, she knows all about it.
Somebody told her We were AT the Fifth
Avenue Theatre.
Wife-rhaps so. You'd laugh if you
knew who it was.
Husband-O, it was some id fool.
Wlte-Rlgnt again, you are, my dear.
| WHAT do you propose?
Husband-Meet me at RiccadOnna's at
| Z. Champagne dinner. Tnen wen go -
| Days. FL get box and Wen fool her
| this time. If we get into box We're ali
right.
Wife-O, yes, we're all rightnow. Make
! il Delmonico's and O'Clock.
Husband-Good enough. Don't fail.
Good-by, darling.
Whichever fear, dear; I'll be there.
And she wasl
|; is truly and sadly said that those
\ young women who listen much at the tele
| phone develop enormous curiosity ant
! large ears.
We should think they might if they ear
discover when the lines are crossed. Al
all eveHts IL is safe to advise ali married
m VINO use the telephone TO inspect the
whole length OF the wires first as neces
sary precau Ion.