Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-04-04
AT THE TELEPHONE.
MIR. SpOOpendyke Explains Its Mys-
teries TO His Wife.

vantages to his wife. "Now, my dear,
this is going to prove the most convenient
thing we ever had in the house. When
L want to talk to any one, just turn this
crank and say: Hello, hellop and the
girl at the central says: Hello, hellor
and | tell her who / want, and she calls
him up. Now, I'll ask for Mr. Speckle-
wottle." And Mr.. Spoopendyke turned
the crank
"What does he say?" asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, cooking her head to one
side, as woman always does when her
husband is trying to listen.
He don't say anything yet" growled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "He amt like you.
He waits until he has something i'm
portant on his mind, and then he saws it.
Hello, hello!' roared Nh. Spoopendyke,
giving the crank a vicious twist and
glaring into the enunciator with vim
dictive look. "Now you keep that
mouth of yours tied up or you're liable
to lose it someday!" with which doleful
Representation Mr.. Spoopendyke ratified
away at the crank, and awaited some
sign of life at the other end.
Il suppose it is really that girls fault"
said Mrs. Spoopendyke, shutting at the
instrument as though she smelled the
young lady from afar, and found her no
better than she ought to be. 81 don't
suppose she's there at all. More likely
she's gadding around somewhere"
"What'd we want to talk just then
for" howled Mr.. Spoopendyke. whats
your measly object in breaking out with
the conversational smallpox at that cri-
teal juncture? Don't you know she was
just beginning to talk, and you made me
lose her? tell you one thing" added
Mr.. Spoopendyke, with impressive
solemnity, eff you don't shut your mouth
once in awhile, the moths will get in
there and m axe you trouble"
eff she'd only just commenced to talk,
YOU haven's lost her." replied Mrs
Spoopendyke, wrinkling her nose,
you'll have no trouble with her if she's
got started"
Hello, hello! call up Mr.. Speckle-
wottlep' bawled Mr. Spoopendyke, APP
parently convinced by his wife's manner
or his own experience. "There, she's
gone. No use for me to try anything
when you're around. Another time 1
want to talk through telephone I'll take
it over in vacant lot! Do you know OF
anything that will keep you quiet for a
moment ?' demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke,
his wrath rising as he contemplated his
i'll usage. ''Never mind the expense.
Just name the article! Why didn't you
tell me, when you referred me to your
measly old dad, that 1 was proposing
marriage to a dod gasted steam diction-
ary?" ..o,,
''Say, dear, can't talk through it?'
cooed Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious to dis
arm her husband.
"Is there anything you can't talk %
squealed Mr.. Spoopendyke, beginning to
realize that there was something about
the telephone that he did not thoroughly
{ understand. "When get a telephone
for YOU, the diaphram will be of doubled
; and twisted wrought steel witt railroad
tracks for wires, and / don't believe that
, will last more'n an hour and half
r Hello, hello-o-oP wake up and call up
, Specklewottle, dog CAST YET and Mr..
: Spoopendyke ratified away at the crank
until his arm ached.
= "Be patient, dear. You said She gone
/ and it's long way around to Mr.
E Specklewottles house. Perhaps he ISM
: home and she's waiting for him.
: That's the way it works, eh J!
: shrieked Mr. Spoopendyke, glaring at his
!. wife. cit took you to get hold of it
a When call that girl she goes home tt
e dinner, and along in the evening she goes
i; around to Specklewottle's house anc
N brings him here in hack! That you
idea of it? Or p'raps you've got some
sort of a notion that she runs the wir,
through Specklewottle, turns on the cur
rent and slams him right up here through
the side of the house! That your idea
l. Well, she don't, and she don't break he
back trying to make dod gasted idiot Q
herself, like some womenW
le ~ think l know how it works." fal
tered Mrs. Spoopendyke. "You say
< yellow, yellow"
Is ''Theres the combination yellet
D Mr.. Spoopendyke. ''You got your wor
7ss in that time! Why didn't you tell me
ID was bringing this thing home to the III
le ventor? What'd you want to let m
s. stand up here and explain this thing
81 the only comprehensive brain that eve
ID tackled it for? You've got it! With wha
t YOU know now, and what you've got
a. find out, you only need wig and la
1. suit to be the whole science of electricity
at | tell We this is the way it works." an
S, Mr., Spoopendyke brought the box kic
that splintered it. "See it work? he de
re manded, pulling at the wires until he CT
b. his hands. "Watch it, while conve
lg your regards to the other lunatics ~ an
~ he danced on the remnants of the instr
n ment and smashed the fragments agalni
" the wall.
IN s'Never mind, DEAR" demonstrated Mr.
"a Spoopendyke, puttering around after hi
4 and irving to soothe him. "When "
to want Mr.. Specklewottle again, We'll Jul
K send a servant around after him. That
* be much nicer than trusting to mast
ID wire. and l know that there was
"a draught through that box for l could te
IL II as soon as it come in the room"
le ooh, you could feel it!' roared NJ
y Spoopendyke, rather wondering how I
W was going to account to the company II
ps the destruction of his box. "If hs
ay vour constituencies and an onion, L
&C. hire out as a dod gasted orchid?' an
ut with this eliminating sarcasm, M
iy spoopendyke crushed his hat over .
Vs. ears and rushed around to MIR. Speckl
be wottle's to see what had better De ool
about the matter.
Oh az don't care, murmured Mrs. Spoo
Id endvke. as she Topped down on the no
cir to pick up the pieces of the wrecked tel
I'D nhone box. "He'll not have any oppC
rs. tnnity for standing up here and talkll
To that girl until his legs are tired, al
With this sage expression of her satlsfa
ne ton over the result OF the experlmei
nv Mrs. Spoopendyke broke on the ehos
q the bent wires and laid them away
rp. crimp her hair on.