Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-02-04


monarchs reign without title, all courts
sit without authority, and all govern
ment is usurpation-in short, that it is
Anarchy and Old Night come again.
He conceives himself to b. the incar-
nation of outraged justice. and, there
| fore, the representative lead and adj
vocate-general Of the human race. He
Is firmly convinced that the future his
tory of the world is closely bound up
with the issues of his controversy.
Every passing event has some occult
bearing upon 1t, and every public ca
lamity or crime is necessary corollary
to it. Accordingly, stray references to
contemporaneous occurrences are to be
found scattered through his volumi-
nous papers. Nothing comes amiss to
him. Tho Electoral Commission, the
Centennial Exposition, the assassina-
tons of the late Car of Russia and OF
President Garfield, the war between Pc
ri and Chill, the Star-Route trials, the
building of the Brooklyn bridge and the
erection of the Bartholdi statue are all
in some way or other connected with his
case, and all find mention in his docu-
ments.
Nothing pleases him SO much as to
gain the ear of a Judge to whom he
may be unknown. If he be so fortunate
as to elude the vigilance of the court
officer, he Immediately pours forth a
torrent Of unmeaning broken English,
freely interlarded with scraps of Latin
and other foreign tongues, fully per-
suaded that at last he is making head
way, and tardy restitution is about to be
granted. When the officer quietly
checks him, he makes no objection,
but instantly leaves the court with his
customary rapid stride, contented to
postpone the presentation of his case
until a more favorable opportunity shall
occur. 81.
Has the reader any curiosity to see a
specimen of Mr.. Heintzlemann's '.docu-
ments?" Let him run his eye over the
subjoined extract and then pronounce
upon its value as legal pleading;
TAKE foTICE.-Upon these proceedings, as
tie undersigned with the Referees report
heretofore presented to the Courts and the
Corporation Counsel and TO tho District At
torncy's so far as II goes and herein after re-
ferrea to as public reply and this legal educa-
or pubic murder and this incurablo public
calami y and curse of this public offensc, of
the legal professions failure and chaos stare
decisis urbi ct orb vox populi justicia suum
quique lox nervus rcrum ab initio in fnom
tenn veritas prevaelebit. For our Standard of
sound mind-now legal settlod-urbi ct orbi,
tatis in rem registered Citizen Titles Subject
10 this modification, as set forth.
Later on in the same lucid statement
of grievances he modestly applies
F1r an order of $4,000 and 81 800 for dis
bu; scments on account, and be held to deliv-
! er the Bartholdi Statue OF Liberty and afore-
said Fund and Trust, etc, etc, TO the first par
ty for operation. and this Declaration OF Indo.
pendence tendency pro bono publtco.
He docs not con6ne himself to the
higher courts in his efforts to obtain re-
dress. District courts, police courts, or
even an Assembly Investigating Com
mittee are alike acceptable. Here is
an order presented by him to one of the
lower courts, and probably signed by
the Judge with Wow of giving him u
transient taste of the pleasures of i'm
pending victory:
1t appearing to my satisfaction that Mr..
Adolphus Hcintzlcmann Is the Chief OF the
Bar, and Is clothed with all rights privilege,
Ordered. that the Justice of said Court is in
full sympathy with the said Hcntzlemann,
and that he has sworn that his obligation is in
all respects toward the said Heintzlemann to
do everything TO his aid and advantage for
the modification of 81 Barb. p 673, even unto
death, as our inviolablc rights and only legal
settled citizen tito, as registered IN rem.
This last paper, however, bears tho
imprint of another hand than Mr.
Heintzlemann' 1t is too coherent to
be his production. 1t contains SEN
fences. His papers never do.
1t is pathetic TO note his reference to
the book in which his case is reported.
Like King Charles's head in Mr.. Dick S
Memorials, this allusion TO 81 Barb.
573, is sure to crop up sooner or later
in all his documents. His poor be-
logged intellect has chung to this one
fact, or penumbral shadow of fact,
when all else has gone by tho board.
He has, years ago, forgotten what his
case was about. And yet he knows,
and is careful to mention where the re-
port of it is to be found. Vigorous as
are the viuiperative epithets whatever
they may mean) which are so thickly
besprinkled over his documents, Mr..
Heintzlemann takes pains to explain
that he is actuated by no motives of
resentment or ill-will. On the contrary,
his arduous labors are prompted by
charity towards his fellows and intense
anxiety for their welfare.
IL haf no bad feeling for the Court
says he. II spend my time in working
for their goot. l do this not only for
me and mine children, but for the
Chudges and the citizens and the coun-
try, and for the whole world
1t is impossible to describe the comic
sweep of the hands with which he illus
trates the all-embracing character OF
} his advocacy. Atlas is nothing to him.
He does not condcscend to reason OF
| tntA
evident truths -conclusions, which from
| their weight and cogency amount tc
/ mathematical demonstrations.
"You see dot" he says, emphatical
, ly, pointing out SOME phrases in his last
document. "You see say dere Star,
dccisis Ter ncrums rcru,'', IN Jorma pau
l peris.
"How can they get Offer dotp" he
3 asks, with q confident smile, and hi,
| listeners are bound to admit that it i.
9 unanswerable.
He is no pauper. He begs or Dor
rows from no one. The shock that lait
his mind in ruins left unframed the
skill and cunning of his hands. So h,
mechanical work, and is chargeable tt
l no man.
Mr.. Heintzlemann is not the only on,
of his kind to whom the Halls of Jus
!. tice present irresistible attractions
. Other eccentric characters from time t.
time gravitate. toward the same center
9 For instance, there is, or rather was
: Mrs. Mayfeld, owner in fec simple o
. the courthouse, with all the appur
= tenances thereto belonging" She wa
spare old lady, neatly dressed il
, black, carrying always an old-fashionet
L reticulc. She used at intervals to visi
!, the courthouse for the purpose of col
: Letting her rents. Marching with SLOW
> and stately steps into one of the room
:, she would approach the railing in from
of the bench. If her advent passed TN
noticed, she divcd ipto the depths of he