The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1885-03-18

on in fact conceal il longer, Imade known
my condition to my comrade We
turned our faces homewards, and by the
time London was reached and the long
journey at an end, everything to me was
blurred, dim aud obscured could just
see, that as all
flew to the eminent oculists. He
was out of town. Had been i'll, even at
the point of death. He would not be
back for two mo4ths, nor would he see
any patient until his hellth was restored.
l had pinned my faith upon this man.
No doubt there were as skilled ocullsts
in London, Paris, OF other capitals; but
it was my fancy that, if l was to be saved,
| could only be saved by MIR. Jay. Dy-
ing men are allowed their whlms; even
the felon about to be hanged can choose
his own breakfast, so had an undoubted
right to choose my own surgeon, re-
solved to wait in darkness until Mr..
JAY returned to his duties.
was foolish. had better have trusted
myself in other clever hands. Before q
month was over I Lad lost all hope, and
at the end of six weeks was almost dis
tracted. Blind, blind. blind should
be blind forever! So entirely had lost
heart that began to think would not
have the operation performed at all.
Why fly against fate? For the rest of
my life was doomed for darkness. The
subtlest skill, the most delicate hand, the
most modern appliances would never
restore the light I have lost, For me
the world was at an end.
Now that you know the cause, can you
not imagine me, after weeks OF darkness,
broken in spirit, and, as 1 lay sleepless
that night, almost wishing that the al
Tentative refused by Job-to curse God
and die-were mine? If you are unable
to realize my condition, read the above
to any one who has lost his sight. He
will tell you what his feelings We're when
the calamity first came upon him. He
will understand the depths of my woei
I was not alone in my trouble. Like
Job, had comforters but, unlike Eli
phaz and Company, they were good
hearted fellows who spoke with cheer
full conviction as to the certainty of my
recovery. l was not SO grateful for
those visits as should have been. I
hated the thought of any one seeing mo
in my helpless condition. Day by day
my frame of mind grew more and more
Responding and morbid
My best friend of all was a humble
one Priscilla Drew, an old and trusted
servant of my mothers, She had known
me from early childhood. When [ re-
turned to England [ could not bear the
thought of trusting my helpless self en-
tirely to a strangers care, SO / wrote to
her and begged her to come to me- [
could at least groan and lament before
her without feeling shame. Sine came,
wept over me for while, and then, like
a sensible woman, bestirred herself to
do oil clio could IN mil ooAo Tho bo,,I
ships of my lot. She found comfortable
lodgings, installed Der Troublesome charge
. therein, and day and night was ever at
his beck and call. Even now as lay
awake and tossing in mental anguish.
she was sleeping on an extemporized bed
just outside the folding doors, which
opened from my bedroom to the sitting
room.
1t was sitting night in August The
sluggish air which crept in through the
open window made little perceptib1e diff
ference in the temperature of my room.
Everything seemed still, hot and dark
The only sound / could hear was the
regular breathing of the sleeper behind
the door, which she had left an inch OF
two ajar in order that she might catch
my faintest call. 1 had gone early to
bed. What had to wait for now? 1t
was sleep and sleep alone which brought
forgetfulness, but tonight sleep refused
to come to me. l struck my repeater. l
had bought one in order that might, at
least. know the time. The little bell
told me it was just past one o'clock.
Craving for sleep sighed and sank back
upon my pillow.
Presently fierce longing to be out of
doors came over me- TWAS night-very
few people would be about. There was
broad pavement in front of the row OF
houses in which l lodged. Up and down
this might walk in perfect safety. Even
if [ only sat on the door step it would be
better than lying in this close hot room,
tossing from side to side, unable to sleep.
The desire took such full possession OF
me that l was on the point OF calling old
Priscilla and making her aware of it /;
but knowing she was sleeping soundly,
l hesitated. I had been unusually rest
less, cross and exacting during the day,
and my old nurse-heaven reward her {!
was serving me for love, not for money.
Why should disturb her? Let me be-
gin to learn to help myself like others in
my wretched plight. / had already &C
quired this much, to dress without assist
ance. If could now do this and leave
the room unheard, I felt sure could
grope my way to the front door, let my
self out and, whenever chose, return
with the aid of the latch-key. The
thought of even a temporary indepen-
dence was attractive, and my spirits rose
rs resolved to make the attempt.
l crept softly from my bed, and slowly,
but easily dress myself, hearing all the
while the sleeper's regular breathing.
Then, cautious as thief, stole to the
door which led from my bedroom to the
landing. / opened it without noise and
stood on the thick carpet outside, smil-
ing as / thought of the sleeper's dismay
if she awoke and discovered my absence.
1 closed the door, then, guiding myself
by the balustrade, passed lightly down
the stairs and reached the street door
xx,ifb0,,k oooi1aOt