davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
BRIGHT BITS,

"YEs, my son, there may be roller skates in
heaven, but the floors will he padded and
me muslc will never 90 out to wet its whistle.
-DansotHe Breeze.
THERE are no mosquitoes in Utah." five
nave ever said an uukind word about the
land OF MormoDi m we are ready to make
apologies for It, ran Ri0er Herald.
A sTREET-oAR brings the haughtiest man
Gown 10 the commoneet level, Particularly if
u starts suddenly before the naughty one has
had TIME to pick out his seat.-FdU Rtger
Herald.
AN exchange queries, "where does living
oeglnF There ie an idea held by some that
lying, like charity. begins at home, especially
In the case OF married men and boys Just COM
mehclng 10 be tOugh.-Lo1oeH Citizen.
THE Escurlal, the great Spanish palace,
contains 1000 doors. II must exhaust the
patience OF the inmates crying shut the
door! in cold weather, and Let that door
opeh'" IN hot weather.-Nor5Gs Gstoa0n HeraId.
DECEMBER is here, with weather drear,
and We heap with coal the pArlOr CRATE;
1t Is too cold for lager beer,
But were resigned to whisky straight
-Ch5cGgO TeJe0rdna.
THE Boston 7rGgelIer asks: 'sHow long
would II take for a procession com mnosed Of
a lady with modern hustle to pass any given
pointF' Wen, that depends on the point. If
the point given be her 2Sth birChdav she will
'ake about fifteen years. If 1t be the boiling
over point on seeing her husband kiss the
cook. All ut .0a2537964I Of a second.-Ainaeap-
oils Ti6uRe.
commenced poem
.I. On Beautiful Shows
1 Bat the tsnperature at once
Became low, Eisa 20 onfrr
And found the snow muse no go;
SO ! began 2 poem
About the drizzle.
But the weather cleared up:
That turned out fzzle-
Snow, drizzle, nzzle.
-C1ic0oo Netcs.
HEANp She
They meet, More love
Oct sweet; More dove;
They smile a walk
Awhile, A talk
Then lie = ,rne moon
ana sgn. Much spoon.
"Oh, lovew ''NuF ced .
On, uoVe" They wed!
Embrace, And then
Aspace; Amen!
--MerchGA5 7rGUel1er.
FAILED TO NOTE THE ExoEPTIoN-squire
Riggs, Mississippi LAWYER, in the conduct of
his cases is so given TO ''demurring'' and
"iiling bills of exceptions" thar ne is known
al over his judicial district as sod Demur-
rer." During recent trial he filed no less
than seventeen exceptions to the rulings of
the court. Finally the Judge lost patience
~ith him. and charged him with unprOfes-
siona conduct, and refused to allow HIM 10
pIucecu iuTlneT AS an Abi OfneV IN the case,
Darn such another court as this," said the
squire, whereupon the Judge fined him $40
for contempt.
~ on ntemptw exclaimed the Squire.
Yes. sir. for contempt of this court" re-
piled the Judge.
'But. Judge, l said nothing of this court
thal could he construed as contempt"
lyon did, sIr."
What did say. NAV 1t please your Honor?"
You sail sir. Darn this COURT"
you are mistaken, Judge. and failed TO
note my escspt1R, l distinctly said, Darn
such GNothsr court as this"
"The fine is remtted: proceed with the
case, gentlemen" SAID The Judge.-Dstroit
Free Press.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
A Two.Edgsd Sword.

From the Baltimore Sun (De1a.
Gen. Hampton's proposition, moreover. is a
sword that cuts both ways. just now the
Democrats would be afer ted by it. but neither
party Il likely TO give up what is to one a
Present AMI 10 the other prospective advan-
tage. Half of the Ork Of our legislators at
thls time in Washington s made up of trotting
from the President to the departments, and
from the departments to the bureaus, sug-
gesting appointments for this man and that,
introducing personally some applicants and
lnuorslng the recommendations of hers. To
some inns trotting about is healthy exercise,
10 others bore, and to all an obligation.
mat IL is practice more honored in the
preach than in the observance may be true,
Dut custom has sanctioned it. political ambi-
Il"n VIII uphold 1t, and Gen. HamptOn's pro-
position, whether we take it as a keen satire
upon the insufhciency of the civil service law
or an earnest effort to break up and get rid of
q i parts OF the spOils system in all of its
ramlicatlOns, is destined, we fear, to meet
the fate of all reforms which tough the politi-
cal Interests Of both parties, and TO which
neither is inclined
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
The Drummer's Tax.

1t is rumored that the Council is 10 be
urged TO re-enact the drummers' tax or
dinance. That was 10 be expected
There is no reason 20 fear, however, that
the Council will respond to the urging.
II acted wisely and after careful consid-
GRAFTON when It repealed the ordinance,
aud IL will not be very prompt to confess
that IL did not know what IL was doing.
There are very few cities now where there
is drummer's tax, aud they are all In
the South. II were possible 10 get at
the facts il would be shown probably that
the cost Of living in them is 20 per cent.
greater than It 10 where there is no such
tax, other things being equal. But IL in
uobimpropable that even these few towns
VIII be- forced TO repeal the tax in the
very near future. There is no good rea-
son for thinking that the bill pending in
Congress, 10 do away with thedrummers'
tax throughout the country, on the ground
thatit is an interference with Interstate
commerce, will not pass. Savannah is
well rid Of the tax, and there is no danger
that she will be burdened with II again.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
1t Was Too Old.


from me NelO IOTk World.
A man boarded a railroad train at Toronto
the other day. and he passed through two
coaches without being oferei a seat. although
number OF the passengers hat whole SEATS
to themse yes. He looked i'll and weak, but
that made no difference. He finally halted in
the centre of car and said loud enough to b.
heard by all: "Gentlemen. feel very Ill, and
don't know but it may result in a case Of
smsu -poI."
There was a hearty ha! ha! ha! from every
passenger. and half dozen voices called out:
Give us something new! That old gag has
been done to death~
Then everybody chuckled and winked and
nattered themselves on their smartness, and
the man remained standing until passenger
got on at the next station. When the train
reached st. Thomas doctor came aboard To
see about vaccinating the passe ayers, and as
he came to the man who had sought to guy the
others he asked:
Whats the matter2i
''sick."
''Let me see your tongue?"
1t was exhibited
81 want To feel your pulse"
The hand was ex ended.
"By the horn spoon! old fellow, but you're
coming down with small -pox!" shouted the
doctor, ss he dropped the hand and ran to the
platform TO call a carriage
Everybody had been ready to giggle. nut no
giggling took place. The winking and blink
ing ceased. No one poke ed his elbow into an
Others ribs On the contrary a color akin to
best pastry -four crept over every face in the
car and stayed there. and when one passea-
ger remarked that the whole lot were a set of
Dlanked fools, nobody arose to dispute the as
sertiop.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
One at q Time.


One step at time. and that well placed,
We reach the grandest height;
One stroke at time ear h's hidden stores
VIII slowly come to light;
One Sc at time, and the forest grows;
One drop at time, and the river flows
Into the boundless sea.
One word at a time, and the greatest book
Is written and is read:
Ore stone at a time. ard palace rears
Aloft Is stately he. d
One blow at a time, and the trees cleft through,
And city will stand where the forest grew
few short years before.
One foe at a time. and he subdued,
And he conf 'ct will be won;
One grain at time, and the sand Of life
Will slowly all be run;
One minute, another, the hours fly:
One day at time, and our lives speed by
Into eternity,
One grain of knowledge, and that we'll stored,
Another, and more on them,
AMI as time rolls on your mind will shine
With many garnered gem
OtNhought and wisdom. Aud time will tell
zone thing at a time, and that done we'll"
Is wlSdOm's proven rule.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
index 10 new ADVERTISEMENTS.

MBETISes-Golden Rule Lodge No. u, l. o.
o. f.; Teutonia Lodge No. I, X. p.
SPECIAL NorICEs-Christmas Sport; Tur-
KEYS, ETC.. at Putzers; Resolutions of Thanks;
Tax Mo- ces.
AUCTION SALEs-Dol House, Baby Car
riage, ETC., by d. r. Kennedy.
WANTs-Boarders Cash Boys.
For SALE-A Farm on Ogeechee Canal;
Horse and Wagon.
LosT-A Check on Assistant Treasurer
United States.
RAFFLE-Pctures and Mockingblrd.
FIREWORKS Barbour Bros.
MILLINERY-Mme. Desb0uillOns.
SPECIAL DRIVES FOR THE HoLIDAYs-G. NJ.
Eeidt & Co.
CABINET PHoToeRAPHs-J. y. Wilson.
PEAS, CABBAGE. ETC.-J. A. II. Umbach.
WE MEAN WsAT WE SAY-Teeple & Oliver.
NOTICE.. F. Sweat.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Although steel rails have only brought
from $27 TO $35 per tor during tbe last few
years, the Philadelphia builders complain
that rolled iron glrders nave been held at
$50 per ton, or &c. per pound. This price
was the result Of a combination among
manufacturing companies, about q half
dozen In number. II is now stated that
Belgian manufacturers PROPOSE 10 iay
iron Rirders down in Philadelphia,.dgty
and freight prepaid, a. % per aaaty less
than American prices. There AZ some
philadelphia protectlonists who seem 10
think Iron girders ought not 20 cost any
more than steel rails. The worklngs of
this syndicate Of Rirder manufacturers,
which includes the Carnegie Bros. aud
Hon. Abram 3. HewiiVs company, will
probably be fully ventilated when tho
tariff question comes up 10 the present
CCnEress,
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
A Captaip's Hard sentence.

San antonio, Tea, Telegram in tho 50. Louie
Globe Democrat.
Capt. j. H. Smith, of the Nineteenth In
fantry, who was tried by court martial at
Fort Clark for copdIct unbecoming an officer
and gentleman has been found guilty and
the sentence published. He will remain a
prisoner at the p ,st for twelve months, sub
ject to duty, and orr it half his paw for that
time. The unnecoming conduct consisted in
engaging in little game of draw with citizen
gamblers in saloon at Fort Clark, getting
scooped for S S5 and then refusing to pay a
cent, alleVing that the cards had been fixed
up on him aud that his fellow p ayers, one NJ
S. Moore, the other Z. II. Holsey. alias "Jig-
gerty,'. had played it on him pretty "low
down." The gamblers made a kick to the
authori les, VIII ch resulted IN an official in
vestigation, the payment of the money, and
Smiths sentence
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

FTUWt tNe UH1u7bW NsDuOttcuNs
Judge" said an Arkansas man who was
arragned tho other day for assault with in
tent to kill. Pm no baby. | don't whine and
kick | went for the Tennessee man with a
club, and that's fact. But, your honor,
there was p' ovoca ion, awful provocation."
''Then YOU plead guilty."
"Certalnly do; but hear me. This long
legged, gander- -shanked, wilted d-up 81 ecimen
OF humanity got right up on the head of
bar'l in front of Simmen's grocery and crowed
like rooster, and yelled out that Tennessee
had two murders to our one. That 'ere tate
ment touched my State pride, your honor,
and / sailed in to defend old Arkansaw
against the world"
The jury founn a verdict Of not guilty with
out leaving their seats.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
UPS and Downs.

from the BrddTor6 IRA.
In 1881, at the breaking out of the Allegheny
oil held. one Jim Parker struck RichburR
with scarcely penny about his clothes.
bought good lease aud disposed of it, doing
the business with IS, which >um he borrowed.
He went through with the $4,000 in com
paratively brief time however. and for the
post as the old saying goes. Last week.
however. he made another ''raise." He landed
In kinzua few weeks ago, and by some
means procured lease. He then let the
drilling of well by contract 1t is said he
slept in the derrick and ate his meals from
the drilers' pals till last week the well was
finished. and proved a gusher, and he sold out,
realizing $4,000 in clear mnnev.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

From tho Leipsio sionah.

At recen reception held by Baroness Bur
dott- Coutts, Patti sang the Litter A la" from
Don Jnan." after having executed several
bravura pieces. At it's cl Sc q small old lady
stepped up 10 her and said: 'In horltura
none can equsl you, but Mozart seemed hur-
ried to me IN your Interpretation. NOW, that
you may not fancy speak OF your singing as
the blind man d0es of colors, I VIII. mention
my name: Jenny Lind GoldsehmIdt." Nine.
Patti seemed slightly disturbed by this cool
ceusure, tut quietly Fetorted: II k ow you
were once a ce ebrated singer. Grandfather
used to speak Of you." After this reply Jen-
ny Lind returned to her place at the hostess
side without another word.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

II is stated that Financier Ward was
utterly unable 20 keep his accounts
straight in Sing Sing prison, and has been
removed from the bookkeeping to the
printing department, where he is quite
expert for new hand. There is belief
abroad in the land that Ward never was
as good book-keeper as a great many
shire Md people once thou ght he was.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Whatever may be said about Iowa.
there appears to be at least two courts in
that State, one of them the Supreme Court.
in which it is sought TO administer JUS
tice, unmingled with any fanaticism or
false ideas about natural rights. An in
teresting case recently came up relating
to the rights of colOred people. A negro
who was refused admission to q place of
amusement because of his color appealed
to the law, when the Circuit Court held that
IL did not appear from the averments that
plaintiff bad any legal right to enter the
place OF amusement. The Supreme Court
sfirms this ruling, aud says: .'The act
complained Of by the plaintiff was the
withdrawal by the defendants, as to him.
OF the offer which they had made to admit
him, or to contract with him for adpis.
sion. They had the right to do this. IA 20
him or any other member of the public.
This right is not based upon the fact that
he belongs to particular race, but arises
from the consideration that neither he nor
any other person could demand as right.
under the law, that the privilege Of enter.
ing the place be accorded TO him." This
is fair and equitable statement of the
whole question Of civil rights as applied
TO hotels, theatres, railroads, and other
semi-public institutions. Common car
riers may be compelled to furnish equal
accommodations, but they may undoubt.
edly furnish separate accommodations
should they desire TO do so.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

From the Baltimore 4 American (Rep.)
Senator Wade Hamptons bill NAV perhaps
De ouriesqpe upon the civil service reform
law put when It is remem cred that senator
fe1oleton, q Democrat. introduced that Dill,
ana that II was upOn the faiih of the mainten-
ance OF tnat law that President Cleveland was
elected, the bright, ess of the joke may not be
80 apparent as he supposes.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Ifit is true as reported by tue late Re-
publican Land Commissioner, that three
fourths OF all the public land entered In
Dakota is fraudulent, may it not be true
that three-fourths OF the population claim
ed by that Territory is also fraudulent?
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Ex-Gov. st. John, it is said, is making
fine capital out Of the Senate debate on
the liquor question. He is, however,
apparently almost as far from the White
House as when he began his journey in
that direction.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Pottsville, Pa. mas decided 70 adopt
electric lights rather than natural gas
with which to illuminate the city, but
cheap gas for fuel doubtless makes the
electric light comparatively cheap IN that
part OF the country, and gas light in point
of excellence is not to be compared with
the electric light.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

From the Nslo FORK Star tDeua.l
Texas and Georgia have gained an unenvi-
aoie reputation in dealing with the criminal
labor question. In Texas the state Prison
Board has farmed out its conviets TO railroad
corporations and large planters. This is stir
ring up feeling of deep Indignation among
small planters ami the anorers, both of whom
hnd 1t impossible TO compete with convict
lsbor. The question VIII pr bahly soon as
sumo the political importance in Texas which
Tue question of convict labor long held in our
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

The older members Of the New York
Produce Exchange are said TO be very
much opposed to the annual Christmas
frolic of the giddy young members, who
affect the manners OF the stock exchange
people. The boys, however. propose to
have little fun this Christmas as usual.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

If Congress would pass bill to pension
all the suffers and bounty jumpers OF the
Union army, the clamor on that subject
would probably be somewhat lessened.
There does not seem to be much demand
for pensions from the real Veterans.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Although Rev. Sam Jones met with
little success in st. Louis the cremation
society Of that city has over 400 members.
Perhaps the ST. Louis people think that
by winding up tBelr career in this world
with complete incineration, they can
escape CREMATION in the world to come.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

A Camden IN. J.) painter died last
week Of starvation, which was the result
of belief on his part that he was vOo-
dOoed and could not eat, although he was
doctored by negress, who applied a
poultce OF mackerel to his feet and one
of onions TO his mead.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
CURRENT COMMENT.


from tie Phi2ddeiyhia Times tIHd.)
Such provision would be apt to make Con-
gTessmen more careful as 10 the actual mrriis
OF the persons i@dorsed. and would tend 70
lncrea'e the pull ity attaching TO the IN
dorsement. The principle Of the Hampton
Dlll Is all right, but it isn't entirely consistent
with Itself
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
Attacking Civil Service Reform

Representative Wheeler, of Alabama,
thinks that il he can find a fulcrum for
his lever he can Overturn civil service re.
form. Probably he hopes that the little
bill he introduced Monday will answer
for a fulcrum. To pass this bill would,
in effect, repeal the civil service law. 1t
would put the spoilsmen at the front
again.
Mr.. Wheeler need not worry about his
bill. 1t will never come out of the COM
mittee to which it was referred. Mr..
Wheeler may demand a report from the
committee, but his demand will rot be
needed. Senator HamptOn's bill, making
II unlawful for Senator or Represent a.
tive TO solicit the appointment Of an ap-
plicant for office, or to recommend an ap-
plicant. stands a much better chance OF
becoming a law. 1t is more nearly In har-
mony with public sentiment.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Among the striking aphOrisms of the
future will probably be the following cred
tied to John A. Logan. 81 had rather be
President than to be right II Gen.
Logan does not verbally express this SEN
timent, he evidently lives it.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

1t is said that the Canadian health au-
thorities are, in some instances, so ZEAL
Gus about vaccination, that they insist on
vaccinating persons who have just recov-
cred from the smallpox.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Bills for public buildings at Jackson
VILE, Columbus. and Augusta have been
introduced. The fact that Savannah
wants public building seems to have
been forpoften.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

n. Pasteur's hydrophobia patients are
becoming more numerous, and his hos
pital at Paris may soon become the most
peculiar and celebrated institution in the
world
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

1t is feared that Eli Perkins is at work
on a sketch of the life and sayings of Col.
Thomas P. Ochiltree. Eli is eminently
qualified for the work.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
PICTURES!

Art lovers will find in our Art Gallery
something to please them. 100 suoerb In.
cravings, Oliographs and Water COlors Ar
tistically framed in God. Bronze or Wood,
from s. to SIS each.
Also 500 Engravings. Olegraphs, etc, which
we can frame up in any style desired. and i'
small cost.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

The st. Paul Globe has this savage
stab at New England selfrigbteous.
ness: "Those misguided persons who
supposed slavery went out OF existence
in this country with the close of the war
are sadly mistaken. They still sell pau.
pers to the highest bidder in Massa-
chusetts." That ia almost enough 70
make even Senator Hoar vince.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Miss Mary Alice Brown, the young
lady Of New York, who WAS reputed TO
be engaged 10 james y. Fish, has been
sent " an asylum for the insane. She
stlli insists that Fish IL haf lover. but
hor belief is regarded as only dslusion.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Gen. Paine. of Boston, is building boat
with the avowed object Of beating the
Puritan, az well az making her the rival
Of that famous boat. II IS said that the
Puritan will be oyerhauled and put into
the best Of hands, with the intention of
defending her POSITION at the bead OF the
pleasure yachts OF the world. II seems
that the New York yatchmen have for the
present given up the idea Of owning the
fastest yacht. 1t may be, however, that
they are making preparations for another
contest, but do not desire to put their
Boston adversaries on their guard.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Chattanooga has a Chinese citizen who
votes and goes 10 Sunday school like any
other Christian gentleman. He came
from indianapolis, where he voted the
Republican ticket. but be says he ls a
Democrat IN the South. He adheres 10
bis pgtail, however, but concoals Il under
bis American style OF sackcoat. Il is
suspected that thero will be many Chi
nose applications for citizenship IN the
near future IN all parts oi tho country.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
Rsgistered az the Post 01Eoe in Sarannah.

The MORNING NEws is published daily, IN
ciuding sunday. Ii is served to subscribers
~ ghs city, by newsdealers and carriers OF
their own account. at rs cents a week, s. 90
q month, IS 90 for six months and Slo W lor
one yeer.
The MoRNINe NEWS. BY mail including
one year, $40 90
The MoRNING NEWS. By mail, six times a
week without sunday issue, six months u OOi
SUNDAY NEWS, 6z 17,ail one year, 81 90.
WEEKLY NEws one year, 81 2S. In CLUBS OF
I've. one yesr, 81 90. ~.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit
bv postal order or note, check or registered
letter Currency sent by mail at risk OF
senders. ,, :.
etters and kilograms should be addressed
s'MoRNINe NEws, Savannah. ga"
Ad ertising rates made known on applica-
ton
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
Artists Material!

Oil and water Color Tubes Brusno1 Bs,'',,. HI
vas. Palettes, Cps, Stretchers' pa,,a n
Brass, Japan, Giua, Paper. e'c. c..vorl
boxes, Oils, Varnsh, Lustre Paint'
Everything used v artists.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
ART NOVELTIES

Statuary, Bronze Goods.
Brass Goods. Plush and Wood
Toilet Mirrors, Easels, Plaques,
Ink Stands, Pen Racks,
Calendars, Paper Weights,
Sealing Wax Sets, Writing sets
Smokers Sets, Bronze Pieces
Plush Mirrors, Match Safes
Brass EaseIs, Plaque Eases
Easel Albums, Card RecelVeIA
Ash Trays. Brass PalepeN
Candlesticks. Paper weights
Cigar Stands, Brass Plaques
Brass Banjos. Brass IamOorla'9
Rolling Pins. Banner s'AnuS
Napkin Rings, Brass Roos'
stereoseopes. Photos, Views
wall Pockets. Whisk Holders
and an endless line # pretty and iPeKpen'lS,, J,
Art Goods in Bras. Bronze, hloAo4
and Wood.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

NSn 1hN
ST. A
winter
Sevillt
Of wateI
There
ing TO hi
A pos
crosse,
county.
Poles
Compan
and rav
The lie
eistern
IN few
The ra
erection
depot at
The sa
they
out temp
q. S. G
property.
~. Augu
o. W. d
kentuck,
Lake Ola
An Ala
ing a ne
and putt
IL is r
brought
Donald, y
Of $l00.00C
Anothei
mari. Tn
Carbonate
A Phua
a brick Xii
". Citizs
Tor a sui
wood for b
Aiontgor
Miss A. i
were MARI
lwohgo.
" the lafe
pehi
'ok6 on
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23
PICTURE FRAMESI

Hundreds of STYLES, Gold Frames, Bronis
Frames. Brass Frames. Plush Frames, Carer
and Plain Wood Frames; all sizes snd prl0'
from l0e. TO $40 each.
Savannah morning news., 1885-12-23

Special inducements offered
until Jan. l. Come in and we
will tell you what they are.
This means business, and thoss
who buy under this offer will
save largely. A surprise In
store for all. Come and sec.