Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1885-12-31
Sunbearns.
A lean thing-The tower of Pisa

Paper hanging-A suspended Journal
N. Y. Mems
Bare facts would often look better If
clothed in choice words.
Wanted-A seamstress who will enter in
to contract to hemisphere.
In game of cards good deal depends
on good play, and good play on good deal.
Ruling passion strong in death: When a
detective turns up" his toes.-Cin. Sat.
Night.
No woman should borrow the husband
of another; for it is not good for man to be
O loan.
One is q rife and the other is full of rye.
Put the conundrum in any form you like
Gin. Sat. Night.
The woman who always has smile ready
for her husband when he comes home keeps
a bar.-Cn. Sat. Night
What part of stove reminds you of gay
conductor on an elevated road The L !"
beau.-I'hiladelphia Item.
elbow is your business /? p" asked one tall
or Of another. Only SO So" was the re-
ply. How is yours ?" ''Mine is mending."
-Phika. Sun.
Ii mems means were proportionate to their
meanness, there would be more wealthy but
less well-to-do men in the world. Y0nkers
Gazette.
"Pye an idea," he exclaimed, as he
sxlv stannad int l,a T. 4
another one as he was more rapidly fired
oIt.-N. Y. Neaos.
Soon rotten eggs few through the air,
And as he turned to go,
He yelled, :" really cannot bear
Those lays of long ago."
SIS Lily in?" she whispered, softly.
mo; she's in the garden" answered he.
What part of the garden?" "Damask
rose, don't know. Here, Biddy, Gala Lilly
n."-Detroit CAaf.
Fortune quickly acquired is like pair of
ready made pants. First thing you know
you have to go home from party wearing
nothing but Prince Albert coat and an
umbrella. Blu Nye.
prudent man had his portrait painted
in Paris. His friends complained to him
that it was much too old. "That's what
ordered, said he. alt will save the ex.
pense of another one ten years from now. "
When the devil wishes to give the doors
of his hottest furnace new coat of black
paint, he calls together all the scandal
nongers of Hades, and makes them lick
the iron with their tongues. Whitehall!
Times.
We have mistaken our calling. Had we
known before we mistook it that printed
sermon for every Sunday in the year could
be bought for a dollar and q half, we
would have been preacher. - George III.
Ditt0e.
Why is stylish girl like q rifle range :
Bocause-oh, dear, we wish we hadn't be-
gun this one-because--oh, shackey, you
know; because-boo-hoo, boo-hool Be.
cause there is bang at one end and bus
tie at the other.
Wife of clergyman to her washerwomar
well, Bridget, how did you like the
sermon Sunday?" Bridget-"It was beau
tiful. l like to go to that church. It's sc
nice to see your husband curtseying aroune
in his shroud."
In speaking of o newly welded pair,
gentleman said of the husband: 1.-the trou
bic with John is he has no mind of his own.
"Oh, that will make no difference, Saral
will always be ready to give him piece o.
hers" responded lady.
"You do not find any flies in the butte
which l put on my table," said Boston
boarding mistress, proudly. NO." rsplie,
boarder, "it's too strong for them.n Tha
boarder was given immediate notice tt
quit.-S0me7gttle Journal.
mo" said Ragbag, 81 can't really of
| ford to keep two pianos and have both M,
daughters take music lessons; but til,
son of pirate who lives next door let hi
/ hens into my garden last spring. and II
! get even with HIM if it fails me-"
An exchange says: GA man lives in thi
| vicinity who states that he first met hi
wife in Il storm, took her to the first ball il
a storm, popped the question in storm
F, and has lived in storm ever SINCE" Tina
couple must have been Mr.. and Mrs. G.
| Clone.
"Why, old fellow, I thought you wer
| dead long ago." he exclaimed, grasping hi
| friends hand and shaking it with an enthU
siasm that almost brought tears to his eyer
No, not dead, " he responded, calmly, "
| expected to be, but a divorce court intel
vened i'll time to save me-"
81 think bath daily would be benefici,
in your case, said the physician, to Plot
gers, the vaetudinarian. .'Well, don
know, DOCTOR" replied Plodgers in feebl
voice. II took bath once, a year or tw
ago. felt better-for awhile, but it WASH
} long before l was as bad as ever, ana l hay
been growing worse ever since"
4 An unfortunate landlord, going round I
collect his rents, sent his servant forwar
to prepare the tenant for his visit. o
reaching the house and finding his ma
taking survey and apparently endeavorin
to gain admittance, he asked WHAT'S IL
matter? Is the door bolted?" mo, ma
ter" was the reply; "but the tenant is"
"Where has the summer gone :" sighe
, Flora, combing her bangs on Charities ct
{ locks. And Charles, looking dreamily O,
} over the stubbled hay fields said, wistfull,
81 reckon it's gone to grass" Thus OIL
by one the onions fade swig by swig IL