The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-01-01
The Tender Conscience
Of MIR. Bobberts.
BY SHERWOOD BONNER.
From Ha,p1's Weekly.

1t wuz about the third year o nv
marriage with Jed Burridge that the
rust got inter the wheat; an what
wuzn't rust wuz cheat. People saw the
bread a-slippin out O. ther mouths in
std OF s,ster them, an every man on
the Nine.mile wuz as blue us a wet
hen. Talk run high about emigratin'
to Kansas, which wuG represented as
overfowin' with milk an honey. free
fur all who wuz A.longin' fur that
Scripteral food.
Nobody grumbled more than our
highest neighbor, Mr.. $3.50 Bobberts.
Israel wuz his proper name, but some
wag had Civ him the kognomen of
"So1So," an co'se it stuck to him like
q burr. 1t riz from his habit of never
comm out with squar yes OF no on
any pint, nor, so to speak, of givin'
any satisfactory praise or dispraise to
things OF God or the devil. Every
thing wuz from fair to middlin', like
an average cotton bale. He wuz
mighty low once, an the doctor had
|
"How do you stand with God r'
says Preacher Snowden, a-bendin' over
him, an shoutin' loud inter his deef.
ening ear.
"So-so," growls Mr.. Bobberts, true
to hisself to the last. He never wuz
one fur gilt-edge speeches, an didn't
want ter ornament his dyin' bed with
| anything uncommon.
However, he didn't die this turn.
nut wuz soon round, peart as ever,
seemin' ter think he had outwitted
death fur good. Truth is, he's one of
the tough kind that's hard ter kill, not
a ounce O adipose on his bones. He
is long an lean an lank an ribby as
the sea sand, as the poetry book says.
On top o that long body O. his is set
the littlest head ever l see on mature
adult person-not much bigger than a
billiard ball, an nigh about ez smooth,
if you could ketch him on a summers
day coolin' off under tree, with his
wig hangin' in the branches above.
His face is smoUth-shayed, an has a
kind O. scorched look, as 4 il had been
held over blaze till the red wuz burnt
in; an with glitterin' little black eyes
an tight mouth, he is altogether =
curious-lookin' old critter.
Ter begin my story proper, meEoe I
ought ter 60 hack to the fust thrtshin'-
machine tnat wuz ever brought. to the
Nine-mile. 1t wuz sort of triangular
purchaee, Mr.. Bobberts leadin' off, an
persuadin' two neighbors, :Ichn Raney
an Farmer Sweet, to club in with him,
1t bein' too expensive fur any one man
ter buy. Everybody wuz surprised at
sich a j'inin' Of forces, fur John an
Farmer Sweet wuz jolly, slap-dash kind
O fellers, spendin' their money free as
words, an fonder Of g good laugh than
of daily bread, while Mr.. Bobberts
wuz as close rs chestnut, an never
could see any sense in a joke. How
somever, the thrasher wuz bought, an
contract made settin' forth that the
machine wuz to be controlled ekally
by the three, an that in any question
concernin' it the majority .Dlz ter rule.
One day Mr.. Bobberts, John Raney,
an Farmer Sweet wuz hard at work
in the fust-named's ten-acre field. Mr..
B. WIZ mortal cross that day, an his
helpers wuzn't feelin' very loYin'.
Noontime brought Cissy Roberts with
two tin buckets containin' snack.
"Maw says you are to come up to the
house, paw" says she; "ther's some
hot gingerbread fur you"
Bobberts walked off very prompt,
an, the two men that wuz left looked
at each other an grinned.
"Did I ever tell you abo;.t my
grandfather ?" said John Raney to
Farmer Sweet.
didn't know you had q grandfath-
er."
"Well, 1 did; an can tell you he
wuz man among men. On one oc-
casion my mother, who wuz q gret
person for putin on style; had invited
q lot of town folks out to a dinner. It
wuz to be a big affair. Ovens an
skillets an pots an'.pans wuz all full.
AS luck would have it. my grandfath.
er wuz buildin' @ mill in the vicinity,
an he had good force O. laborers
employed-some twenty men or more
-an' among 'em half a dozen black
fellows that he had picked up in town.
Jest as dinner wnz about to be dished
up, in stalked the old mar. as solemn
as turkey gobbler, an after him six
negroes, each with brandnew wooden
tray balanced on his head. Fill 'em
up, boys, 8aya he, in voice to make
your hair stand on end an at the
word, in swinklin' the dinner wuz
piled up OF the trays--venison an pig,
an roast turkey au' fried chicken, an.
vegetables am pies of every name an
natur-a clean sweep, even to the salt
pork that wuz mixed in with the
'fresh,' fur old acquaintance sake.
Not so much as c0oky wuz left to
tell the tale. Mis- Jacob Price, who
wuz a-cookin' fur my mother that day,
wuz so overcome atseein' the company
dinner hurricaned away in such a
fashion that she jest sunk inter q chair,
an sot there like wax figger, big
eyed an tongue-tied. An when the
six Africans had marched out, all on
the broad grin, my grandpa turned to
Mis- Price, an says he: I've. got
twenty man a-laborin' at my mill, an
they deserve good dinner, fur they've
earned it. An as fur them lazy wo.
men at the house, he p'inted his
thumb over his shoulder very con-
| temptuoug-'let 'em come, out nil' cook