Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1885-02-27
TAKEN FOR A TRAMP.

A Clerk Who Expected to Paralyize .
Strange Guest, But Was PulyerIzed.
There is no denying the fact that he
looked seedy. His hat was of the
shocking bad order, the cut of his
coat of antique style, his general make
up of the modern tramp school. Try
| ing to dodge cart in crossing upper
Broadway yesterday. gentlemen of
the aboyedescription blundered against
a vehicle coming from the opposite di.
rection, and smeared his hand with tar
grease oozing from one of the hubs. It
| is a good thing to have clean hands,
although manual uneleanliness is no
uncommon thing in this great, bad city.
| Walking into an adjacent hotel, the
man of smeared hand proceeded to
wash himself in one of the marble
basins for lavatory use.
Can t You readp asked stylish
young man with cutaway coat, richly
particolored scarf and a glittering dia-
mond scarf pin.
81 can,n answered the stranger, as
he vigorously rubbed the ball of soap
over his smeared hand why do you
askp''
Because there is printed notice
over your head that you should read
and heed.
..Ah! see" was the strangers cool
rejoinder, raising his eyes and reading
the notice. "For exclusive use of the
guests" and then he continued in the
same cool tone: 81 had not observed
! the notice before. 1t is not an original
idea, by any means. have seen it
frequently in hotels, but it's intensely
stupid-has no meaning in it. One
of the rules of the house, is it? What
nonsense! What constitutes q hotel
guests"
Il don't want any of your conun-
drums, old fellow Indignantly inter-
rupted the young man, his flashing dia-
mond paled by the fiery flashing of his
eyes. '.You are not guest OF the ho-
tel; SO get out of here. y
.Who are you, that you should talk
to me in that wayP" asked the stranger,
in the same tone of imperturbable
calmness, and scanning his interlocutor
with keenly-scrutinizing gaze as he
began to wipe his hands on the immac-
ulate towel suspended from roller.
/ 81 belong to the hotel. am the
clerk quickly answered the young
man, with that professional air OF
colossal Importance and supreme con-
tempt for ordinary mortals which it is
expected will be followed by an imme-
diate paralyzing effect
.Then / don't mind, said the stran-
ger. 81 am not as frightened as
might have been. / thought surely the
hotel belonged to you, instead of your
belonging to the hotel,
II don't want any more words; you
get out of here, quick. !"
young man. and the words We're
uttered in a slow and deliberate tone,
81 want to give you some advice; it's
very old and trite, but it is very good
for fast young man like you. Think
before you speak, Never Judge from
appearances. Impress these aphorisms
on your feeble mind. The fact is y
..But I tell you again. get out Of
here" fairly screamed the young man
in his increasing rage, .'or I'll call q
policeman.
Il won't get out of here, and nc
policeman will put me opt, either. You
insultingly called my attention to that
Iprinted notice, For exclusive Ise of the
guests Now, understanding clearly,
the moment stranger steps foot over
the threshold of hotel he is the
guest of that hotel and entitled to its
privileges and comforts; for all the
privileges and comforts he chooses to
avail himself of he can be charged.
There is no law restricting him in the
freedom of his choice, and neither is
there any law compelling him to stay
longer than he wishes. | desire to
avail myself of no further privileges al
this hotel, and l propose to leave al
once. Now, want to see the proprie-
tor and pay my bill. :
There's nothing to pay, and if there
was you probably haven't a dime about
| your clothes There's the door.
my young friend, | see that avenue
of egress, and propose to utilize it in
my own good time; but see you will
not take advice. I've only one word
more with you,n taking the young man
by the collar, who paled and quivered
under his wrathful grasp and menaeine
eye. 81 have only just arrived in this
city. but if / meet any more like you
shall do two things enlarge the
boundaries of my private buryine
ground and found an asylum so long
needed in this country for that large
class of imbecile cursed fools-hotei
clerks.
81 have used your wash basin, SOAP
and towel, y the. stranger said to the
proprietor. whom he found in the of.
lice, land | want to pay my bill.
L -, - II
answered the proprietor.
..But insist on it. taking out 8
large roll of bills and extracting ter
dollar note and laying it on the coun
ter. "If it's more than the bill would
be, use the balance in trying to germ
mate brains and develop good man
ners in your hotel clerk.
'sBut, sir"
II The stranger disappeared. Later il
the evening the genfleman-a promi
nent lawyer of this city and ex-Judg,
of one of the higher courts recited tn,
, above story to party of gentlemen
, dining with him at Delmon.co's. III,
had just come from the mines of Cali
fornia, having gone there in spirit 0
! adventure and TO improve his health
, and he retained his mining garb unit
, his arrival to astonish his friends ant
, amuse himself over their puzzling fail
ures to recognize him. 1t is haril,
necessary to add that the idea of al
, asylum for hotel clerks was received a
one OF the brightest indications of tn
progressively philanthropic spirit O
the age. N Z. Herald.
s---
-Rev. DR.. Howard Henderson. of tn
i Simpson Methodist Episcopal Church