The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1885-11-11
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

fSf
Domestic "sauce' is kept in family
jars.
A cooking club-the rolling pin
LoweW Citizen.
Fish are generally weighed in their
own scales .-Lye.
Why is Africa like a creased polei
Because it is an unhealthy cline.
Anybody can take a cut from tho
butcher without any lowering of dignity.
Call.
Man has, We read, 240 bones. Woman
has 241; she has all that maj has, and
The bone of contention beside. -Fan.
When you spill soup on the table cloth,
set your tumbler on it when your wife is
not looking, and trust to Providence for
the thereafter. Life.
A paper is made in France from hop
vines, which must be very appropriate
for ball programmes and beer keg stamps.
-NorTist wn Herald.
A woman who claims to know says it
takes more strategy to marry off a family
Of girls than it does to secure re. election
TO Congress- Chicago Ledger.
'He shot himself in the woods" was
q head line in a morning paper. He must
certainly have shot himself in the lum-
bar region. -EoansuM argus.
1t looks paradoxical. The Parsees are
said to be rich and generous, yet there
must be a great deal of Parsee money.
among them.--LowM Citizen.
s'The house fly flies an average of
three miles per day." This is probably
the reason it feels so tired when it strikes
q man with a bald head. -Gruphic.
A beautiful new song is called: 'fThe
Lone One on the Shore" We never
knew till now how romantic a solitary
clam could be made to appear. Bar.
hrs' Gazette.
what Is life and no livingF' she tenderly
sighed,
As her head on his shoulders she laid.
"!What is love and nc livingT' he sadly re-
piled,
AS be thought of his board bill, unpaid.
II you address the poorest person in
Sweden it is the universal custom to- raise
your hat.-Boston Journal. But how are
you going to know who is the poorest
person in Sweden2-Boston Bulletin.
Freshman professor (holding up a writ:
ten exercise)-"I perceive that this one
was copied from outside helps. The man
who handed it in will remain" HalfA
dozen remained.-Y Yale Record.
There are said to be twenty-five differ
ent causes for headache, which, strange
ly enough, is about the number of popu-
lar alcoholic beverages. But, of course,
there is no connection .-L0wM OIissn.
Thirteen minutes is sufficient to load
an elephant on a freight cor. It takes a
woman longer than that to board a. COM
nor everyday horse-car; that is, if she
stops to pass her kisses round to all her
relatjves.-P,0Uidence Star.
IT'S sweet to be o candidate,
And countless votes manipulate;
But oh, of Joy bereft
Is be who rushes to his fate,
Regardless of the claims Of state, =
And finds that he is left.
-New York Morning Journal
The time may come when politics will
mean all that is noble and good; when q
small boy will break an apple in two and
give his little sister the biggest half;
when a tramp will work, and a stray
dog won't bite; but the day will never
dawn when q fly can tickle a drowsy
mans nose without getting itself dis
liked. Chicago Ledger.
Lieutenant Greedy says there is a belt
in the Arctic regions where there are
sheep with the head and horns>of the
OK and the tail of the horse. . On his
next visit to that country he may dis
cover horses with the head and horns OF
the OK and the tail of the sheep. 1t
seems possible to find almost anything
in the Arctic regions, save the north
pole. --No1viaovn HeruM.