Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-03-28
A WOMANLESS REALM.
A SCREED FROM THE WILD Boa
NERGES OF THE YELLOWSTONE.
s1(iirls Of America, Look at Dakota ~
Ready to Fling All Its Glories and
It's Fellows ut Your Feet
Come Northwest.
Up non,n In New York Sun.l

maker to-day than he was 1000 years ago,
when he induced Col Samson, the great orig
inal lion-taii twister and congressional jaw
lone swinger. TO lay his wool and his glory In
the lap OF halt-negro Delilah. He is more
neral tangier and common-sense
smasher in this l09th year Of Yankee Doodle
than when lie made the Psalmist David q
Mormon and an assassin. He Is q more eyre
gious ninny breeder now than
when he led all Homer's heroes
IN that wild Grecian bender after
lie Sarah Bernhard of the Trojan era. He
is more inefFable idiot-manufacturer this
moment than when. twenty centuries asone,
be &heedied Mark Antony-the ancestor Of
Susan b., who spells it with an "h"-into
,as.ing aside the scepter OF the world for
nappy -Iated Egyptian mulattress- he IS
more unconscionable heather amid oil our
century blazs of Gospel light, and
liberty than when he and his scanty-skirted
mamma, Mrs. Venus, led the pagan orgies
of Athenian damsels beneath the shade of
ancient olive groves He is creations marp-
lot, dignity's dethroner, reasons upSetter
and scoffer.
Fang Of hydrophobic cur lever punched
as many madcap fancies into its victims
body as the slightes: Craze of one Of his tiny
molasses candy shafts. Old women
toothless and shrivelled, touched by the
pestiferous little archer who Turks in rose
buds and cabbage heads, plaster their grave
ward coun.enances with enarnels and paints
enough TO gorge a camp OF kickapoo squaws,
swing gawds and gewgaws to every avail
able protuberance, pile ON sweet sixteen toy
gerry, and smirk and gigsle in style that
would drive a whole teilam OF ordinary
lunatics to suicide.
Tie bigger the folly the surer
the stroke No freak is too wild, no
yarary too monstrous. Eagles mate with
moles. and swans with hedge-hozs. Tom
Thumbs pine for Goliaths; sons Of Anak wei
human hummingbirds; mighty brained
heroes and statesmen rave over inane little
butterflies, puny wax dolls, and taffy -faced
pigmies: kings bow down to ballet dancers,
and queens take refuge in the arms of cooks
and coachmen; and, in all lands and Chimes
in every condition and state, the cupid
wounded gosliny ami gosiingess have hard
road TO travel to a paradise of squash-an
imaginary elysium, whose roses are too
often rue.
All masculinity is doomed, soor or later,
t. lie sinittsn, punctured, harpoonei; and,
whichever he wears-of swift-coming Saint
Valentine, wish to tell all womankind that
nowhere else on earth is that shifting, pune
turing, and harpooning 20 easily done; no
where else beneath the sapphirean dome OF
heaven does Cupid, the Lilliputian gizzard-
piercer, come near having, like death, all
seasons for his own; nowhere else IN all the
grand rounds Of the san and moon AMI peep
ing stars are the victims so plentiful and 50
readily catchable, crazable, and smashable
as in the vast imperial regions OF the new
northwest, the womanless Wonderland OF the
world.
Girls of America, look at Dakota, with
four and half men AM boys to every
woman and girl Thousands OF young ana en-
terprising men, bonanza farmers and miners,
raisers OF gold aul golden grain, bankers,
merchants, town-site proprietors, and boom
ers. mining engineers and expert, lawyers,
doctors, ranchmen. army officers and mill
iCnaire editors, coming congre-siiea, gov
errors, senators and cJnst1bies of the proud,
soon-to-be northwestern Slantes % the
Uni n sisterhood, all dying to be struck with
jeweiled shafts, rendering even the misery
OF 1t delicious Thou AMI, On thou
sands Of young men OF noble heart
and brain and Drawn, too brave ali tell
der and true 10 be wastel, all sighin, and
longing to he heart-Spitted. gi-gei Ike sen
timentaI fiounders-and not one marriagea-
be girl 10 every half-hUndrel 0. them,
Nearly every town in tGiS greatest and
grandest of the territories is in tie same di.
piorable fix counting its girls over every
night as carefully as oll-tlmey ladies did
their chickens or spoons, and never able, 10y
any arithmetic, 10 scare up more than on
to every fifty fellow. The VIII lie graf
Americ an northwest groan. unier the wee
of similar restitution. Think o: "A single
missionary in Manitoba two or three years
ago. WITH $40 bachelors under his charge,
and not one weddable girl or gus ins T-iiow.
Girls of the woman-crowiel, o. ma Lac
cumulatinS older states here Is The iiel (
you; here you are needed; hero you are 1T a
premium; here you are sure OF dozen hu'
lands apiece, If you want them. Here Is al
empire, stretching ZOO miles to the north
aud west, up the Saskatchewan and across
the mighty Rockies to the COLLEEN slopes OF
the Pacifc-an empire vaster and grander.
more fertile and beautiful and g!oriou, than
ever Rome's silded eagles glittered over III
her palmiest days OF power AMI pomp and
pride-that waits the coming OF its mis-
tresses. its princesse' and its queens 1t is
ready to fling all its giories and its fellow
at your feet Without you it is doomed 10
he a vast. sky-Toofed, horizon wallet prison
houre Of hapless, hopeless satyrs. mascu
line WILDERNESS. a womanless realm
Como west, young women, come north
west; and ,tand not upon the order of YOU
coming. but come at once. Every one Of
YOU /, guaranteed To strike mascu
line onanza in ninety days time
This sereei may, perhaps, pass for Da
kota's valentine to American femininity; L
the girls. the women Of the noblest land be
leath The sun, who have. Individually ana
col ectvely. no more ardent admirer, n<
more deyout worshiper, than myself