Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-08-19

This was one of the toasts rendered al
Reunion and Banquet given by the .
). Senate reporters, January 10, 1885, il
Washington. 1t was responded to by
II. j. Gensler, and we reproduce it, feel
ing sure our readers will appreciate it
He said:
"When was informed that | was
| expected to respond to this toast | felt
that if l had more time in which to pre-
pare myself-say about five years, so as
to read a few thousand volumes concern
ing the history of the gentle sex, | might
be able to give gentlemen information
they do not now possess. l will frankly
say that what do not know on this all
engrossing subject would fill several large
books. There has been a diversity OF
opinion in regard to woman from time
immemorial, and the wisest philosophers
and most sagacious statesmen have dis
agreed about her. | am not a sentiment
talist, as all here know, and shall SIM
ply deal here with naked facts. | shall
therefore, begin with the era when Adam
and Eve were expelled from the Garden
of Eden and turned into the world shift
less.
When Adam awoke from that celebrat-
ed sleep and discovered the robbery of
one of his prime ribs, his first impression
was that he had fallen into the hands of
the Washington detectives. On looking
around and finding another fellow lying
alongside of him, his establishment knew
no bounds, especially when he found the
other fellow to be a woman. After he
had given her a critical examination he
remarked: "This is the most eUentful
day of my life!" Adam was not polyg-
amist, though at that time he had mar
rled all the women in the world. Eve
had her whole heart and soul wrapt up
in him-she had no other wrappings, I'M
less it was when Adam raped her
on the head when she misbehaved,
One summers evening Eve invited her
lord to take stroll through the garden
with her and his heartless reply was.
mo, l thank you; not this cue some
other eUe," and in the silence thatreigned
you could have heard house fall, or
gun drop. Eve did not wear the breeches,
as the saying goes-neither did Adam.
Tailors and tailors' bills were then hap
PLY unknown. Eve was very inexpens-
i've and her bills were very small. They
always kept a supply of fig trees in the
back yard which was their source for OBJ
tanning clothing. Adam was very
happy man; he had no mother-in-law,
and all the married men since his day
have envied him. have heard it said
that the first instance on record of
walking stick was when Eve presented
Adam with little Cain. After appro-
pirate anecdotes and roundelays, illus
trating the character of his interesting
subject and the tender and delicate rela-
tons of the fair to the sterner sex, Mr..
Gensier remarked that:
"There is one thing, however, that man
can boast of. He was created first. After
man came woman, and, o, heavens! she
has been after him ever since"
Then, after describing the many meth
DDS of love-making, the speaker said:
Another method of making love is
where the young man, dressed in the lat
est dude fashion, encased in Newman
ket'-for which, perhaps, he owes his
his ACCORDION and plants
himself under the window of his affianced
and sets all the dogs in the neighboring
yards to barking, by singing Darling,
Good Night a serenade from 'Olivette.
After a while the two young confiding
hearts get married. Avery wise philoso-
pher AYERS that you require in marriage
the same quality that you do in
eating sausage-absolute confidence. In
the course of time-not always-a third
figure appears upon the scene. Perhaps
all the married men have had their day
in court, and know how it is themselves.
In my minds eye l can see one of my
good Young friends about me, toward the
- &c fnndnrlU
holding his little baby in his arms, walk
ing up and down his chamber with the
steady, slow and soldierly step of senti-
mel, singing in a melodious voice-[Sing-
ingl
Hush, hush, make no noise,
Quiet you must keep,
Baby has closed his eyes
And gone to sleep.
Do not wake my baby
Do not wake my babe.
Another stage in married life is where
the young man goes down to see the boys,
and seeks the pleasure of the club-not
the policeman's club; or perchance 1t
NAV be that he may have had the honor
to attend one of the famous banquets OF
the S. R. B. A.
Then Mr.. Gensler sang one OF the songs
in Olivette beginning with If in state of
exhilaration,' and on being encored he
sang the following parody upon it;
When Mr.. Murphy calls your attention,
To slight mistake you've made,
And says ''it's perfectly ridiculous;
It's nonsense and absurd"
That is the time for disappearing,
Just take header, down you go.
When Mr.. Murphy through the door is
disappearing!
When Mr.. Murphy through the door IS
disappearing,
Bob up serenely, bob up serenely,
Bob up serenely from below.
Speaking of the benign influence that
the generous, kind and happy disposition
of a woman had in home, Mr.. Gensler
said:
at is like beautiful ray Of sunshine
falling on our hearts like the refreshing
dew of heaven. There is, says Irving:
lin every true woman's heart spark OF
heavenly fire that beams and blazes IN
the dark hours of adversely Where
sweet temper is found in the wife,
mother and sister, happiness and love
nredominate; smiles, kind and affection
ate words and looks characterize the
children, ana peace anu pIoSPTiity AII
their dwelling there. In value, golo
has no comparison to it; it enchants more
than beauty. One soothing touch OF a
mothers kind hand works wonders on
the feyerish child, and the little one, full
of Grief at its childish troubles, finds SO.
lace in a mothers smiles and haven OF
rest on her breast. All through life, be
II storm or sunshine, prosperity or adver-
sity, man yearns for woman's love ana a
happy home"
Home, the spot on earth supremely best
A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest
-Browne's photographic Monthly