The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-12-19
A GREAT PosTMAsTER.
An Old Fellow Who Knew that 1t Would Not Do to Make a
 Mistake.


 rabid Democrat. He had his eye on the Cypress Hill post off e, and. as & num- Der of we'll known D smocrats signed the petition which he sent to the president, he received the appointment. It was with diff 'ulty that he could read print, and chirogsaphy, of course, caused him much trouble. The 6rst day af.er his installa- tiou, he called his clerk-an ignorant fel- low-and said: "Andy, sees dat de mos O de letters an papers whut comes heah Is dressed so bad dat da kAin' be read"
 +Yas, notices dat too"
 "Un. huh. thought O dat las night till couldn't hardly 90 ter sleep, an de 'clusion come ter is dis heah: When we comes ter CT letter UT paper de backin' O what we kain' read, we Il put lem in CT -four ba,l an keep 'em. When de bar'l gifts full, we'll head 1t up an sen it ter congress tergeder wid dc in6rmation dat de letters want called far. Does ger uu'erstan'1"
 "I un erstans'."
 ID oes yer harken !"
 "l harkens"
 "All right den. Say, ,recolleck dis heah 'portau' fAck: neber let no pusson think dat yer is ignunt. Fl yer does, w, de dogs dead an his name's Tige."
 "Oh, yer ken trus' me, boss. l'se libed 'mongst CT heep O folks an nobody am foun' out yit dat rse ignunt."
 The mex; day Colonel Bveriy, one of the most extensive planters in the stsie, called at the post off e and asked old Matthew if letter had como for hin.
 "No, sab, sothin' ter day"
 "That's very strange. Matthew"
 "Kain' hep dat, boss, no.hin fur yer"
 The next day the colonel called again.
 Anything for me, MattAewr
 No, sah.'
 Are you certain ["
 "OA. yaH Say, Andyl"
 "Yas, sah."
 "ls yer sartin dar ain' nothin' fur de con1?"
 "Nothin' fur de curuel dis mawin'."
 Two days elapsed and the colozel again called.
 Nothin' fur yer, boss"
 "Why, that is indeed strange"
 "Oa, it'll come out all right. con1. Yer see dc changes iscerdent ter dc promul- gation O de disseminated construction O dc costertution-ur in uder words, de 'movai rum office O de men whut knowed de ropes hab sorter turned things upside down in de postal partmeat O de guber- ment, but .s res easy, cont, fur yer has my word fur it dat eberything will come out all right"
 Two ore days elapsed, and the col onei received a telegram from a man in to~n, asking why in thunder his letters had not been answered. The oolo1e! wrote letter declaring that he had no, received any letters. This letter vas placed tn the post-ofice.
 "Look heah, Andy" said the postmas- ter, addressing his clerk, q doan know ~huther dis heah letter goes up ur down de road. Whut does yessef think 2"
 Andy looked st the envelope and de- clared his inability to 6nd out the direc- ton in which the letter should be sent.
 Wall" said the old man, "it ant do ter make CT mistake, boat dis matter, fur if we does da'll port to de presiden' dat we'r ignunt. Whateber yer does. Andy, doan let no pusson 6ne out dat yer aim got no sense, fur ef yer does mo- body gwine ter hab no 'spect fur yer. I'll jest put dis letter in de barI"
 A fe~ days later the colonel received the following telegram"
 "You are untrussworthy, and are there fore not . gentleman" The colonel hurried to town, called at a mercantile house and engaged i. quite an interest ing fight with weli-known gentleman. After the fight explanations were in or- der. The truly b.ave, ari<tocratic gen tleman never explains until he has washed the blood from his face and plucked the wild hairs from his eagle eye. ]