davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-20
READABLE PARAGRAPHS.
Culled from our Exchanges Through
out the Country.

allow is Jim Bullard getting on!"
asked a stranger at the railroad sta
ton of a Dakota town.
"Jim kermitted suicide bout a
month ago." replied the native.
"Committed suicide? How did he
commit suicides"
"He called me liar, stranger
"HOw are times down in the cOun-
try, uncle?n asked a white man Of
an old negro. - t-
"Porely, sab, porely."
"What is the causeg'
sIt's de COMM in o. desc Yankees
sah."
"How. did they cause hard timesw
''By t'arin down all the old smoke
houses, sah."
"Why did that make any differ
enceY'
"Whut? Why did dat make any
difference? Confoun' EN-, sab, da
tore down all de log houses an built
brick ones in dar place. Da needn't t
be so pertiklar. Nobody wasn't
gwine to steal nothin'.7- ArkansaaU
TraUeter. ...,
"My DEAR" said a father to
daughter, chow long ago was it that
George Jackson went West to seek
his fortune?' s 1-sl~r r.
"JusJ year," the girl replied with
blush.
"Was there anything between you
and George? sometimes thought he
was fond of you
Gle was, papa," "a"d the girl hid
her face on the old mans shoulder
II promised George when he went
away that l would wait for him for
years if necessary" -
81 have a letter from him.
Oh, papa?" she exclaimed. 'Does
he.or has-he. oh, tell me, what does
he say"
..He wants twenty dollars to go
home with. .''-EX.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-20
A NEW CEREMONY.
Amending the Marriage Service
After the Style Of the Revised
Version

In the Northwestern part of Sum-
ner county, Tennessee, lives an Irish
magistrate, man of liberal educa-
ton and full quota of that mother
wit for which his nation is so re-
markable.
A short time ago a colored pair
named jim and Bet called upon the
squire to be united 'sfor better or
worse" probably the latter. Having
had some notice of their coming, he
prepared and actually used the fol-
lowing ceremony:
Jim, will you take Bet
Without any regret,
To love and to cherish,
Till one of you perish
And is under the sod;
So help you God?
Jim having given the usual affir-
native answer, Squire R
turned to Bet:
Bet, will you take Jim
And cling to him
Both out and in,
Through thick and thin
Holding him to your heart,
Till death do you part?
Bet modestly acquiesced, and the
newlymarried couple were dismissed
with this "stopper over ALL"
Thro' life's alternate Joy and strife,
now pronounce you man and wife,
Go up life's hill till you get to the level,
And salute your bride you rusty black
devil.-Ex.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-20
GOOD FOR BURGLARS.

It is we'll known that the Ameri>
cans are very practical people, even
in their religion. One of them has
just invented burglar-proof safe,
which, when tampe:ed with, suddenly
extends powerful pair Of tongs, or
grippers which seize the malefactor
and hold him in Il firm embrace.
There is nothing extraordinarily
new in all this, but there is something
further. Nearly always. safes that
are likely to be visited by burglars
are in buildings unoccupied during
the night, and it's only the next
morning that the captured robber is
carefully released from the trap to
be duly imprisoned. This is. Of
course. time lost, which the religious
inventor desires to utilize.
He has, therefore. had prepared
by an eloquent preachers a very long
and remarkably forcible sermon, in
which the rights of property. the dis
grace of stealing. and the dangers
attendant on it. both in this world
and the next are set forth in the
most touching language. This ser.
mon, stored in a phonograph, is set
off at the same moment that the pin
GERS operate, and the homily is roll
ed out in the ears of the "patient."
The monotonous nasal tone peculiar
to the phonograph renders the illu-
sion perfect: the unfortunate robber
believes he hears the voice Of the
preacher himself, and in the morning
when the police arrive they find him
thoroughly subdued and repentaEt.
Tx.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-20
Small versus Large Farms.

Our own notion is that small farms
we'll cultivated. are almost invariably
the most profitable; and hence, we
believe (what has SO often been as
serted), that if many a farmer would
sell half or two>thirds Of the acres
he now occupies, and poorly tills
and manages, and devote his entire
time and energies to the care and
cultivation of the remainder, he
would derive far more profit from
his labor and investment, with much
less vexation of spirit. The fact is
as somebody truly asserts, we have
too many farmers who are Gland
poor''-who have so much land they
cannot make living. Paradoxical
as this may appear, it applies truth
fully to many a naturally fertile and
productive locality. When such
farmers have learned that it is not
economy to own more land than they
can till in the most profitable manner
so that it pays the money expended
in keep ping it free from taxes, weeds
and other membranes, they will
have solved the problem of ease in
practical rural life. The happiest
and thriftiest farmers We have ever
knownslived on farms of only ten to
one hundred acres, every foot of
which was made to count. On the
other hand, the farmer who has so
many broad acres that he cannot
walk over them daily-where rods of
fence corners are never cultivated or
otherwise utilized-lives a life of
anxiety and worry. Instead of
working like slaves and living in a
miserly manner, in order to run a
big farm" or purchase call the land
that joins them," it would be wise
for hosts of farmers to sell some of
their broad acres, concentrate their
efforts npon limited areas, and look
more to the comfort and happiness
of their households, and the proper
education of their children. Even
if large farms were the most profit
able-which we deny-small one
are to be preferred for many and
cogent reasons, not the least of which
are the comfort, peace and general
welfare of the owners and their
Ifamilies.-EE
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-20
WON HIS BET.

The other morning two gentlemen
were looking out of the window of a
house when the observed a cabbage
roll off market wagon that was pass
ing. Instantly over a dozen we'll
dressed and apparently sane persons
began yelling after the wagon, as
though the vegetable had been a gold
watch. The driver stopped, looked
back at the cabbage, yawned and
drove on.
"What an absurd fuss people in
the street make over trivial occurren>
ces," said one of the gentlemen.
Now, I'll bet silk hat 1 could get a
crowd of 500 persons around that cab.
bage inside of thirty minutes and not
leave this room.'' "Fll take the
bet,' said his friend, pulling out his
watch. Are you ready?"
"Yes; give the word.'' ''Itis now
IL 80. Cop
The proposer Of the wager led his
friend to the window, threw up the
sash, and taking cane, pointed
earnestly at the undiscovered cab
bage with a terrified expression.
Presently cab>driver noticed the
to cfo of hn
vegetable from the curbstone, and
then boot-black stopped, then bill
poster, a messenger boy and mer-
chant.
"What's the matter ?" inquired a
German, approaching the innocent
base of his national dish.
"Don't touch it Look out there |
Stand back p shouted the gentleman
at the window.
At his horror stricken tones the
crowd fell back precipitately, and
formed a dense circle around the in.
nocent cabbage. Hundreds came
running up. and the excitement in>
creased rapidly.
"Look out there!' frantically ex>
claimed the better, waving his cane.
''Take that dog away quick p
! Several stones were thrown at a
cur that was shifting around the cab.
bage.
s'Take care y shouted the cabs
driver to a policeman, who was
shouldering his way through the
mass. Its an internal machine,
nitro-glycerine-or something
Meanwhile the pavement was block
ed, the street became impossible,
women screamed and rushed into the
shops. and a shop.keeper began to
tie bucket on the end of long
pole with which to pour water on the
fiendish invention. The crowd by
this time numbering over thousand,
the two gentlemen moved away from
the window and sat down. In a few
moments there was hurried rap at
the door, and there appeared man
who had been sent as delegate
from the mass meeting outside.
Il should like to know, gentlemen,
what the facts are," he said.
"What facts %
"What there is peculiar about that
cabbage out there %
Nothing in the world" was the
soft reply, Except that it seems to
be surrounded by about a thousand
of the biggest fools in town. DO
aayth:ng else for you ?"
The man reflected for moment,
said be thought not, and retired.-
Er.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-20

Are you fond Of autographs, Mrs.
Startup?" "Laws, I should say so.
Miranda has splendid collection of
the handwriting of celebrated folks.
But some Of 'em was such poor wri-
ting that we had 'em all copied off
in a big book. They look so much
better Rambler.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-08-20

Subscribe for the DEMOCRAT.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20
LIE Fills DE LA MERE SIMON.

LIE tribunal correctionnel de Ne.
vers Went de juger une plaisante
atfaire qui a ell dams lie d6parte.
ment de la Nievre I'm certain reten.
basement.
Par un beau jour du mois d'avril,
lie vagabond Roux parcourait la
campagne, non loin de Nevers.
Etant, CONNIE toujours, fortement
altere, il entire dams un cabaret ct
pid6e subtle lui Went de faire le
sourd-muet, historic de rire I'm brin.
En- gesticulant, il fait comprendre
quill a soft lie cabaretier lui appor-
te q boire ct. apres pavoir servi, va
.s'asseoir avec deux bons buveurs.
Lun DIES buveurs dit an cabare
tier :-Vous venez de servir I'M
sourd muet. IL parait que ce sont
des gems malins, ces sourds-muets.
On assure quils Savent bien des
chooses. Apportez done une plume
ct nous allons lti poser des ques.
tons par ecrit. 1a f.st I
-Je veux bien, repondit le caba-
retier. Nous at1onst lni demander
sill salt Oh sont mes enfants. L'uu
d'eux est a Paris, rautre en- Espa-
gne. Sill r6pond 4 celia, CO sera un
malin.
La question fut pos6e. LIE sourd.
muet y repondit. Alors exclama-
tons 6tonnees des trois buveurs.
II faut, reprit Pun des consom-
mateurs, lui poser des questions en-.
core plus dificile. J'ai en- neuf en-
je vais lui demander sill peut
me dire celia.
LIE sourd.muet 6crivit ces mots
en- reponse Vous avez Gu neuf en-.
fants ct demi.
La stup6faction de ces braves
gems fat tellement grande que le
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20

la race des Suty. lie jeudi, CONNIE
Giles achevaient !eur repas du soir,
on Ia parole leur 6tait soudain re-
venue, on Soma a ID porte d'entr6e.
La mere bondlt dams un coin de. Ia
chambre, que Ia porte devait bou-
cher ell s'ouvrant. La main serrant
une sorte de manche a balai, termi-
ne par une ~faucille, ellie await Fair
dune sentinelle, dune chouanne en-
faction. Celeste ALA ouvrir ; s'arra-
ia un instant dams la chambre i
cote Oh 6taient precieusement ran
ges les instruments qui servaieut q
f%entretien du cerisier. Bient6t, ellie
entra, ~s'6Aaeant pour laisser passer
quelqu'un ct dit tranquillemrnt
-Maman, c'est Etienne qui veut
te parler.
Etienne avanca tout droit jusqu'-
a Ia table ct, he voyant persOnne.
il allait Sc %retourner, quand il fat
saisi par lie cou, jet6 par terre : Ia
sentinelle await tire 81 fort sur sa
faucille qu'elle ravait jete sur ellie,
Ia gorge beanie. Ellie trebucha ct
tOmba sou lui. Alors Celeste vint
ct tinit de copper la ttte a coups de
serpe. La mere Snty ne s'6tait nj
degagee nj relevee : son corps fai-
salt billot.
-An cerisier, maintenant ! dit
ellie, ct, laissant couler lie sang dams
une jatte, elles allerent en- arroser
larbre de RUNE.
-Et que lie bon Dieu regarde ce
que .j'ai fait pour tenir notre enga-
cement, murmurait ellie en- facon de
priere quill fasse encore pousser
les cerises, ct quill ne monte pas au
ciel, Fan proclaim, sans son bou-
quet!
La mere Suty oubliait les gen.
darmes. On trouva lie corps ct la
t6te d'Etienne dams les roseaux, au
bout du jardin, ct on n'eut pas de
peine a suivre les traces de sang
jusqu'a Ia maisonnette. Ellie passa
en- cour d'assises ct fut condamnee,
ainsi que sa file, a quinze ans, sans
qu'on ait reussi a bien dem6ler la
savage superstition, don't Giles
avaient etc lie jouet
On Sc disputa, malgre les souv e.
Mrs sinistres qui devaient y demon
rer, sa petite propriete, a cause du
cerisier fameux. Mails, depuis, les
cerises NY ont plus pousse que com.
me sur lie commun des ce~risiers, ct
mes compatriotes men ont plus ia
mails Ell, a leur dessert, lie jour de
la Trinite.
X.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20
NOTICE.

Having purchased the eligibly situated boil
or shop Of r. Hogan, in this town, I am now
prepared to take contracts for making nev
Boilers and repairing old ones. Full sat;afac
ton guaranteed, work will 10 done at the Low
est figures. 1have secured the services Of M.
r. Hogan, a. foreman and manager Who has
had long experience in this business. Parties
will find it to their interest to call on me b.
fore making contracts elsewhere.
WV. H. Raglan.
Thib0daux, April 9Th. 1883.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20

pere Martin, qui await pose la ques.
ton, but un verre de win pour Sc
remettre de son emotion.
All ! mes amis, s'Gcria-t il avec
conviction, lie sourd-muet est un
sorcier. J'ai Gu neuf enfants ; en-
outre ma femme a fait une fausse
couche, &c qui fait bien neuf ct de-
mi; mails personne ne lie savait dams
lie pays ; nous men avions pas par
le. Get homme est d6cidement IN
sorcier. Eli bien, savez-vnus &c qu'-
il fault faire ! II faut aller chercher
la mere Simon, don't lie fills adisraru
depuis vingt ans. lie sorcier nous
dira ce que ce garcon est devenu.
On ALA chercher la mere Simon.
pauvre femme veuve don't le ils, Ell
effet, a quite lie pays I'm beau MAJ
tin ct ma plus reparu.
-Pourriez.vous, ecrit-on an sourd
muet, dire &c quest devenu lie fills
Simon
. -Oui, mails il fault me bonner
vingt francs.
On dome les vingt francs ct lie
sourd muet Sc met a ecrire. Pen.
dant Quill ecriyait, le pere Martin,
qui await les yeux fixes sur lui, dit
tout haut q son vOisln
-Je crois ben une chose c'est
que ce sorcier est lie fills Simon ; il
lui resemble beaucoup.
LIE sorcier pretait p0reille. II con.
tinue d ecrire ct il presente d la
mere Simon un papier OH Sc trou.
vaient ces mOts /: 30 ma mere. tn
n'embrasses done pas ton fills ?"
Et il Sc met 4 pleurer. La pauvre
vieille, ahurie, croft en- eftet recon
naitre son fils. Ellie rembrasse ct
pemmene chez ellie.
Notre homme, DIES lors, recouvre
la voix ; il raconte ses voyages, ses
a%ventures. On le fete, on lui. dome
de pargent. Enfn, au bout de ouel.
ques jours, il conduit a Nevers sa
pretendue famille pour lui presen.
ter, dit-il, ga fiancee, ct lui fait &C.
CONNIE telle une file publ
que, qui partage aussit6t avec lui
la generosit6 de ces pauvres gems.
Mails tout a une fin. Roux Went
.'etre condamne, pour escroquerie,
q six mois de prison, au milieu des
eclats de rire de l'auditoire ct de
Reimbursement DIES paysans naifs,
de leur trop grande credu.
lite.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20
LES CERISES DE LA TRTNITE,

LES CERISES DE La TRINITE.
81 loin que remontent mes sOuve.
Mrs l'enfant, q pareil jour de fete,
ce que .Je me rappelle surtout, c'est
Ia table dressee, oil ~s'asseyait, au
retour de la messe, la famille nom-
breuse, conviee d Sc reunir chez la
vieille aIeule. &c que jentends,
c'est au dessert, sa voix t1ntee, qui
disait, non sans une pointe de me
lancolie, CONNIE sill Sc fit agi de
regretter I'm absent
MATS pauvres enfants, il ny a
encore pas Ell de cerises sur lie pont,
cette aimee.
Et je ressaisis tres bien, meme
maintenant, quelque chose de Ia
deception que %.Ieprouyais alors.
Tous les ans, a la Trinite, il etait
de regle qu'on servit, au d6jeuner,
une douzaine de bouquets de ceri-
ses. C'6tait les premieres qui pa.
russent sur la table ; nous habitons
I'M pays froid, une vile de FEST OF,
les primeurs sont EN- retard dun
mois Il Paris. Et encore, il ent
etc impossible den trouver une seu-
lie, meme a prix dor, avant lie d.
manche de Ia Trinite. Mails ce Jour
Ia, une bonnie yieille femme. la mere
Suty, venait installer au bout du
pont, sa voiture plate de maraiche-
re, toute chargee de cerises. Com
me ellie les vendait cher, ellie en-
await suffisamment pour sa cliente-
lie, ct, d partir de six heures du ma.
tin, les cuisinieres DIES maisons al
sees commencement passaut de 50
boutique ambulante.
Or, depuis d6ja trois Trinites,
nous entendions la voix melancoli-
que de la grand'mere al nv a
pas EN- de cerises sur lie pontw &c
refrain desolant, qni n'avait lair
que dune plainte, aurait bien pu.
dependant, servir a une complainte
car, pour les grandes personnes, il
reveillait une fra1che historic, plei-
ne de mystere, tragique, ct don't la
cour d'assises await, naguere, pu.
bile lie dernier mot.
La mere Suty, quand lie process Sc
d6noua, 6tait une vieille de pres de
cent ans. Toute recroquevill6e, tou.
te rid6e, toute jaime. Bien que cour.
bee en- deux, le mention au ventre,
ellie marchait vite, active en- dialo-
que, 10 langue deliee ct la main les.
te. Ellie habitat, q deux kilometres
de Ia vile, une maisonnette, en- Dor
dure de Ia route ; derriere, en- bo-
yau, s'6tendait, jusqu'a Ia riviere,
une etroite bande de jardin. CO
Sc distinguish des autres qui
pentouraient, ct on les maraichers
.rincipaux tenaient leur quarter,
On ce qu'on MY voyait nj l6gumes,
feurs, nj rien de ce que cults
les ~voisins, mails settlement,
~ milieu, un enorme cerisier rond
une boule, a r6corce luisan.
10 CONNIE un rouleau d'argent ct
1ont Page devait Sc perdre dams la
unit des temps.
T0ute Ia fortune de la mere Suty
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20

more money than ct anything else
BY taking An agency for the best sell
ING book ont. Beginners succeed
Book Co.. Portland, Maine.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20
ATELIER TYPOGRAPHIQUE
korARY JOB Press.

Ayant tout le Materiel n6cessaire. nous soEl-
mes 4 meme d'executer tour les ouvrages ty-
pOgraphiques qni nous seront cOnties Les
brefs d'avocat, cartes d'atfaires, entetes 0e
features, tickets d'habitation. blancs, circu-
laires, etc, seront imprimes dams le plus BRET
d6lai ct q des prix mOd6r6a.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20
ADJOURNMENT.
ANN0NCKS.

IN carr6 de 10 liynes: lare insertion 81 80
:. 1me Is
" i" " Insertion add. SO
Toute annonce indignant la profession
Nenes. par al. d'ayauce. Is 0c
Announces de candidats, d'avance 49, 10 co
N6crologie. par ligne ....-.......-. 10
TOute annOnce cominerciale public \ Fan
nee sera ins6ree au taux de SO cents par pou-
&c pour la premiere insertion ct Is cents pour
les insertions ~subsequentes.
TOute annonce don't lie nombre dinsertiOns
nest pas specific sera ins6ree jasqu'a neuvel
0rdre au taux Ordinaire.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20

RAf"r The working class. Scpd 10
kf~rnfs for l.nstage. aud we win
Smai' You FIRE. "A roymi, valuable
box ~ sample goods that will
put v"G in I'll. way ut making
- ni'r'. money in u few DAVIS than
yen ever fh""aht possible ~ any bust
meas. Capital not required. We will start
yon. You can work all the time or in snare
only. The work is nniv~, sally adapted
TO both sexes. young and old. You can easily
earn from 20 r~nts to ~ every dVanino. That
ail who want work may rest tlIe husines. we
make this unparalleled offer j: tn al who are
not we'll satisfied We will send IL to nav for
the trouble Of writing us. Full particulars.
directions. etc.. sent free. Fortunes will be-
made by tl,o... who rive their Whole ,;ma -
the work. Great success phsnIm,aiv :n.s
Don't delay. Start now Address STI.so1G
Portland. Ma,ur.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20
Publiec tOus le. Samedis.
F. SAN:A<. P-opri6.aire-G6ra

6CR.Au: Rue Main. entire ST. Philippe
1t St. Louis.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1885-06-20
Important to Owners Of Cotton Gins.

IN e!sssO n">'AsIps$. not J a.
~ like. y nr ,aine on. Cor ~ cents,
Address u. + IL 'lHrAit Il !.OS., Gull
man, Ala.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-10-10
VERA AM1o1A EST SEP1TERNA.
BY JOSEPHINE y.

Under western skies in ages past,
n structure of rare design
Was growing toward heaven, as day by day
Skilled artists perfected each part and way,
Completed each curve and line.
Only fingers of skill were there allowed
To leave with chisel or brush
A mark that should stand all the ages down
In this building of God. His smile or frown
Should he either bless or crush.
An old man appeared, bent with weight of
years,
And asked that he too might add
His work midst the others--rare and unique.
They thought him demented- crazy freak
Ola mind that was weak or mad.
In the dome of this high cathedral grand,
In spot obscure and dim,
Meath the tapering spires, for PHYS sake,
Where sunbeams would seldom the darkness
wake
A place was given to him.
He patiently toiled as the days went by,
TOiled with earnest endeavor;
He silently told that his soul was there
By the smile that his aged face would wear
Naught from his work could sever.
One day when curious sunbeam stole
To this darksome corners face,
A burst of surprise from the ones that gazed
At the sight they beheld, with senses dazed,
Echoed loudly through the space.
A vision so lovely men scarce did breathe
Twas face divinely fair
The face of saint with smile of love,
Looked down from its lofty abode above,
Like star reposing there.
Lying near, in u calm, eternal sleep,
The weary workman rested.
From the busy fingers the brush had rolled
From no earthly temple had church bell
tolled.
The terrOrs of death were tested.
Then they knew that love forever survives
The old man left this token
That affection lives cen beyond the tomb,
"Heart to heart" up there above earthly
gloom
When the golden bowl is broken
McMinnville, Sept. 30th, 1885.