Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-08-04
BRIGHT BITS.


kentuckians, however, who are still content
with the office Of Colonel.-Ihts and That
Now husband John remains at home,
While worn out, sick Mlrandy
Goes OF To mountain or 20 sea
To hirt some moOnstruck dandy.
-Herchdat TTdUeJey.
ARDENT DEvOTIoN-"You have a devoted
husband, Mrs. de silva" II should say had !
He is the dearest man in the world. Why,
do you know, when WAS home for visit last
year he lost ten pounds in weight. Wasn't
that nice.'-PNck.
DoCTOR-"You need exercise; what is your
employment?" sPatient-''I am mason"
Doctor-But then you cannot lack eNerciee p"
Mason-''That depends. Sometimes, you know,
We work by the day ana sometimes by the
iob."-Gertaan Paper.
A KENTUCKY woman gave tramp a lick
across the neck with brOomstick, and he
walked forty steps and dropped down to die.
She SAYS she didn't mean to nit SO hard, but
for the moment thought she was striking at
her Northumberland Free Press.
BIG SISTER (sbouting to Bobby: bah bee I!
You are wanted TO do an errand.' Bobby
shouting back: Tell mother can't do it
now; Pm busy" Big Sister: 1T $ not mother
who wants you; it's father" Bobby (hastlly) ::
IAN right; tell him I'll be there in a min
ute."-Reeo York Sun.
THERE'S q language that's mute, there's 4 81
lenee that speaks,
AS your love to your heart you enfOld,
While your now number sevens are drawing
your feet,
And are causing you anguish untold.
Boston GGsette.
"WHAT are the prospects in this town for a
Circus?' asked the advance agent of a Ken
The citizen shook his head obviously. Pm
fraid not, stranger" he said. "Thar'5 to be
a man hung here in September. au' reckon
everybOdyll be savin' up money for that
Hego York. Times.
BY A MEMBER OF THE S. P. c. A.
II l we're a
Mule,
And owned bya
Fool
Who whipped me and starved me,
I'd kick as "a
Rule Oourier Journal.
A CONCORD FRIEND Of Mr.. Bronson Alcott is
reported to have asked him recently: what
didy you mean when you said that if ], who am
lsing l. think things, ! am really thinging
the thing that things thingsp" did I say
thatg' asked Alc0tt,l THE newspapers re-
ported You as saying At" "Wen,' said Al
colt. elf they reported it suppose l said it.,
and know it meant something at the time.
but Pm sure don't know now what did
mean.
A HUMOROUS correspondent suggests the
following to be printed among rules and reg
ulatiOns to abate or reform the fee nuisance
NOtice.-The proprietor of this hotel is amply
able to pay, and does pay his help all the
wages they are worth, IN many cases far more
than they earn. Ny guests are not expected
to pay or fee my servants. Amy guest doing
so will be looked upon as a schemer. endeav-
oring to get advantages over other guests, and
thereby working TO my disadvantage .-HoteI
Register.
To test the purity Of water there has been
found no better or simpler way than to I'LL q
half pint flask ghth full of the water TO
be tested: dissolve in the water four table,
spoonfnls of the purest sugar (Oaf or grann-
lated will do; shake well; then squeeze in
the juice Of half lemon; shake again. Then
I'll the remaining seven-e ighths OF the
bottle with Old Crow. or BIT. Zion Bourbon,
or sour mash will do very well shake again;
then insert cork, and slip the compound,
bottle and all, in Your pocket ana go fishing.
If you don't want TO fish, drink off all but the
water and throw the bottle at a mud turtle
Beatrice Democrat.