Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-07-24
BRIGHT BITS.

MINING POIET-''A mine is a mine for once,
and then 1t becomes hole IN the ground; but
turnln field viii grow turnips for centuries
San FFdncis00 Post.
A BOY of Il advertses in a New York paper
for position where he can learn the trade of
plumber We only notice this TO show the
alarming criminal tendency OF the young
Boston Post.
THERE is nothing except dried apples that
| VIII swell 50 as the population Of town or
city unless the census is being taken, when it
shrlnks worse than kiln dried lumber Chris
tan dd0OcIte.
AN exchange says there are no humorous
women. That may be so, but when a short,
TAT woman wears a certain costume Just be-
cause tail, thin woman looked well in it, it
Is very, very funny.--Net0 York graphic.
POLICEMAN ADDS, of Philadelphia, recent
~ tried to arrest a rough who fired on him,
but the ball was stopped by a susDender but
| ton. This little incident shows that police
man Adds has noble wife.-IerdS Si6iHGS.
WIRE LATH and glass shingles are now be
ing manufactured, and by amt by it viii be so
mat dutlfu father VIII have to 20 clear up
INTO the prlmeVal lumber camps to pick up
something with which to cares his erring
DISQUALIFICATION Hd9okeye.
MISS Lulu HIRsUTE (whO displays a won
derful head of hair)-'.Yes. | should like to
ever so much; l hate to wet my hair, it taxes
1t 50 long 10 dry, you know
Miss Grace (demurely)-"Y can safely
leave 1t in the bath house, Lulu; there's
no danger OF anybody stealing :t."-Bosto5
TrdRscriDt.
A CHICAGO MAN who attended the Italian
opera when asked how he liked 1t replied:
II don't know exactly what the singers
meant but the noise sounded so much like
being on Change ami out to the stockyards
and pork packing establishments, | liked it
awfu0y IL was sort OF evenings rehearsal
and condensation of the business of the day,
you know "
WHERE are you going, Johnnie?" "Only
over here a little WAYS" you amt going
don't, then. If you DO I'll tell your father
! - es M" And II you go into the water aud
come home here to me drowned ri spsnk
you till you can't stand" ''Yes'm." ''Now
mind" "Yesm.' And thus 1t is all through
Yacatl0n.-B0StOn Courier.
SAY, PAP, the tailor was very much aston
ished when you went in his place the other
day to borrow that umbrella"
'AstOnshed! Why?''
''He said you was like the public building"
son."
That wasn't the reason. He thought YOU
was going to settle. - PhIddelDhjG cat
A COLoRED clergyman in the South saw a
member of his congregation sleeping during
the sermon, and Immediately depressed into
the following episode: You remember when
Paul was preaching in de Temple a damsel
was asleep in the fourth story, and she fell
down, smashing all TO smashers, and the fTag-
ments they picked up twelve basketful, and
whose wife will she be in de resurrection p
ErchdRge.
REV. Mr.. SLYTEs, of BungtOn TO usher in
uptown church)-Will you show me to pew,
please?
Usher-You can take any of the back pews,
cir.
Rev. Mr.. Slytes-But | am the Rev Mr..
Slytes, of BungtOD.
Usher-That don't make any difference sir.
| The back pews can be occupied by anybody
who behaves hlmseif.-Ne1o York Times.
THROUGH the sultry. dusty day
The sprinkhng sprinkler sprinks his way,
Sprlnkllng sprinkles everywhere,
Without "a bother or y care.
] n vain the sprightly sprigliDg boots
Because the sprinkler sprnks his boots.
In vain do sprlpkled ladies suffer,
nd vow disaster to the duffer.
That sprInBlng sprinkler sprnkles
Until his regular sprink done,
Nor pauses cen for curse or thank
Till that his final sprink is sprank.
Scranton Republican.