Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1885-04-04
CALEB WEEKS JOKE.
N Y SIN

SHLEb uEGNO JONGs
NJ. Y. Sun.
Mr.. Charles Gayler sat at q table in the
Hoffman House, on Monday evening, des,
canting on the merits of canvasbacks late
in the season. He had just empted a pint
bottle, when John Mcbride Davidson sat
down at the next table. A companion be-
gan to recount some Of DaYidson's pranks
in the days when Harry Felter was alive.
Everybody roared, and Gayler shook his
leonine head until it looked like a halo of
/ silver around the face of the setting sun.
The greatest practical Joker | ever knew
said Gsyler, lighting a Cubano, was Gale
Weeks. He was q publican and a sinner.
| Every old New Yorker knew him. He kept
g tavern years and years ago out on the old
Jamaica plank road. He spared neither
age nor sex, acquaintance nor stranger.
He was always on the lookout tor retalla-
ticns. and few were able to play q return
match sgaiust him success sfully. Once
in his life, however, he was fairly caught.
lie had been roistering in New York,
and brought up at Frank Monteverde's, q
q noted place of sOcial resortin Nesey street.
Drinks were abundant, stories plentiful, and
Jokes numerous. Colonel Bill Porter, Of
the Spirit, Phil Anthem, jim. Otis, Lewis
GAYLORD Clarke and others of that ilk were
there. Toward midnight an old ~acquaint-
snce of Gales staggered in, and it was not
long before Gale had badly sold him and
muicted him in sundry rounds of drinks.
As he went out be said: All right, Gale;
I'll get even, and you can gamble on it.
Gale secured a room at the Astor House
that night, renewed the fun on the next day,
and did not leave for his roadside hotel till
the second afternoon. He was q married
man. His residence was q pretty cottage,
which stood about 100 yards back from the
Jamaica plank road, near his tavern. His
wife was q middle-aged lady and q notable
bousekeeper. There was not a speck OF
dust to be seen anywhere, the parlor
blinds were always down to keep
out of the light, and the oldfashioned furni-
ture stood prim and polished against the
walls, The lady always had a broom In
one hand, q buster or a brush in the other,
and she was ralely seen without a bib check
apron and a handkerchief about her head,
tarban fashion, to keep the dust from her
hair. Gale boSsed the tavern, but she
bossed the house and Gale too, whenever
Gale was in it. Gale never tried any of his
jokes on her.
Just after dinner time the second day
after Gale played the Joke on his friend at
Frank Monteverde's, the friend drove under
the shed OF the inn, After taking a drink
he sauntered out and strolled down the
road. He opened o gate and moved up the
path leading to the cottage. Mounting the
steps, he seized the brass knocker, which
shone ike gold, and geve a loud rat.tat-tat.
The door was opened, and a middle-aged
lady with q broom in one hand, a buster IN
the other, and q handkerchief abnut her
head, appeared.
"Is Mr.. Weeks imp the stranger in
quired.
"cNo, he isn't was the reply, and l don't
know where he is-somewhere in New
York, / guess. He hsint been home in two
nights
al called to collect a little bill
"'Well. you'll have to see him, she re-
Piled. What is itY
"a bill for some jewelrY-a god watch
and chain and q diamond ring.
What? Gold watch and
"'CanI see Mrs. WeeksY he asked in the
most innocent manner, ~interrupting the
burst Of eloquence ~emanating from the
lady. -,
traying considerable nervousness. To be
sure you can, if you hAin't blind. I'm Mrs.
Weeks
"'Oh, excuse me, ms'sm. There must
be some mistake. / mean young Mrs.
Weeks-Mr. Caleb Weeks wife
"Tm the only Mrs. Weeks there is. I'm
Gale Weeks wife, and I'm not as old as
M~ethusslem, either
"'Of course, l don't doubt your word,
ma'am; but there must be some mistake.
Really, l.
"Ttell you there amt no mistake. How
could there be?
well, you see-youu excuse me, | hope
but the lady to whom Mr.. Weeks intro
duced me as Mrs. Weeks, and for whom he
purchased the jewelry, was certainly not
you ,
Broom and buster fell to the floor, and
both the lsdy's hands rested upon her hips
as with her arms skimbo she exclaimed;
What! not me? Another woman-and he
bought her q watch and q chain and q dla-
mond ringY -,
"'Yes, ma'am, and here's the bill
S225.'
What Two hundred and twenty-five
dollars, and ], his true, lawful, slavin' wife,
hev been q Begin and a prayin' for a new
black silk dress for morn two years! When
did he buy emp
DAY before yesterday.
"What! Day before yesterday, and The
ha;u't been home since, the villain What
kind offs lookin' woman was this young
WeeksY'
"Wel 1 should say he was not over 20,
and very handsome, f~ue,6gure, light, blonde
hair. deep blue eyes, q small mouth, aud
very While teeth. She was elegantly dressed.
He wanted to give her another ring besides,
hut she wouldn't take it. She said she'd
rather have an otter,skin sscque.
IAN otterskin sackl Oh, I'll sack him
and her too, if l ever get hold On herl The
villain. TO leave his poor wife here dustin,
sveepin', toilin' from daylight I'LL dark to
save a penny, and be goes and spends S225
On iswelry, and the Lord only knows how
mpeh for an otterskin sack" and the poor
voman burst INTO tears and hid her face in
her check apron.
THE man apologized for having unwit-
t;ngIy caused her so much pain, and prom
sing to see Mr.. Weeks on his return from
the city, withdrew, leaving Mrs. W: on the
verge of mysteries. he strolled back to the
tavern where, taking q seat on the porch,
he ouietly awaited results In half an hour
Gale was espied driving quietly down the
road seated in his light wagon and careless