davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16
Absolute Cure
Hard Times.
BY JSHNsON JONES.

BY J.HNsoN JONES.
.. take me f;iond, oh! take nae where
Hard times none ever cry,
here bread and butter grow on trees
ADh shusoges close by;
Where oysters dwell in constant stew,
And dev,i'd crabs fail out;
Where CLAIMS com" ready cooked to hard,
And cooks can never pout.
Oh! take me 10 some wilderness,
Ear, far away from town,
Wher turkeys roasted run about,
With gravy dripping down:
Were people never have TO work,
AS soIe do night aud day,
Where one can get just what one wants,
And nothing have 10 pay.
On take ne where no wicked still
or strychniLe whi,ke,'s Iound.
Nor where chanpa g. fills every iil,
And Cognsc 20 IA abound
But whore he most delicious hut
The eye shvve ever seen,
Spontaneous rolls IRON mountains down,
And every bill leo cream.
Oh! take me 20 he land Of peace,
Where never comes u Qua,
Where people never go to law,
And lawyers never come,
Where crope are good and never fui',
And each one gets Lis share,
Who're Que may eat and dri k aud SEER,
w tLUu. an auXIous cIre
Oh g. Ike me, j >, whe all the folks
Get entt clotE-s 10 wear;
Nhc'e fashions never cbspge up1 an
Do never bust nor ear;
" here satins silk ane b,nnets al,
May hav" iuli suFpy;
Where children arr obsdieDt,
And bafies nrver cry.
Take me where wives good umc r'd grew
And ,sossips ncver AK,
And parsons !ess iiy pr ac .'ng iYdg'd
Thpn b? their ia walk:
Wore doctors ch"r.as are uuNnown:
Ware II 'nc grow gra, * old.
Where chiils aud f,vcIs trouble {,
Ana qnlnine 10 not sold
Oh take me, for TIA awful ok.
r., Tar from banke q az.
VIII re ne'er ano'h note III give.
Or have Ui.l 10 pay
o. taks M TO some wilderness,
Where oil tacse things sre found;
Oh. ak me. take re quickly. for
I'm almost run ar, und.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16

There are some white men who a.e
equally puzzled with the Indians to
zee the consistency of the laws rela
ting to Intoxicating drinks. The
Seminolcs say, The white man first
licenses man 20 distill fire water.
then nc licenses another 10 sell il.
ihen he rays a policeman 10 catch
those who drink IT and take them to
lal. and when they come ont they
drink and arc PIT in again. Don't
understand.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16

At the most spIeud Il bar in the
city OF New York. by which mnny of
the young men Of that cl,y arc ruined.
there Is Sept al athletic 'honnccr.
whose business il is to thrus' out those
who arc made noisy and trouble, ONE
through the fiery draughls they take
AT the bar and to- remove those
hoPel, SLY drunk. Any resi.taLce is
etc N.Y. ond even roughly dealt with.
The tender mcfcie. OF The wicked are
cruel.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16
Cbe ~ Snm.

An Independent Newspaper Of DEM
ocratic Principles. but not Controlled by
any Set Of Politicians or ManipuIators !;
Devoted to Collecting and Publishing all
the News OF the Day in the most Inter
e'ting Shape and with the greatest pos
sible Promptness Accuracy and Impair
TALLY; and to the Promotion Of Demo-
cratic Ideas and Policy in the affairs Of
Government Society and Industry.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16

Some men are born great, some a.
chieve greatness and some have great
ness thrust upon them,' remarked
small man in the street car as fat
woman sat square down Gu him.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16
DB. LOwRY'3 REMEDY.

lnfuses new LIFE tho D,pu,r,
TED; u "a initiates with the blo,t a,d
supplies that deficiency ,n the Nary =.
y, stein wai.h is lie cause OF D,buily
ana fhys'csi Psos,ration L. ec, on
'hs L'v'r k,dae, :, Iila der. an r. nr,.
~ 10 " gtis, causing hcsliL, = en-
ih'' ~ stopping waste md Hu,ld.
a" ", $50, q. az . nu,s 10
t'tsotlp' Sclitb ti,c -, its Ln.lie. pJ
ti'e hnair ~ Pos ! b.. rn.ea 40
ne Obtained - Drp4g l. AMI n-aes
g neraih piics 81 0U p.r p,sLsga
thrce pac"ng :. two dotlus. euillc.Dt
To crfe ordinary ca ~.
Ask your drpgsil - T., 10 noi /, X
any o'her. II YOU cfnu.t oh,s.p 4
sen diroci, with rricc. an 1t vii b,
ssnt securely s.Ai.d d, 10y ma H. yoir al.
dress.
Ad 'rcss Dert an Lahraior,,
DR.. Ln~ry's II M .d,e;,
Is Ea~, 18th 81.
New Yrs CIV.
Advice Free end an fof rent.
Au1ust ~ 1884,
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16
TEMPERANCE PARAGRAPHS.

No maI but q total absiainer il al
lowed under the laws OF Michigan, to
he employed n engineer, traiu-ies-
pacher. fireman, brakeman, or other
railroad se'vaut Any rMlr al VIC
la'ing this las Is liable to fine oI
$500 for each offence.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16
SCROFULA

can only be cured BY ; thorough purihca,
tion OF the blood. IL this Il neglected,
the disease perpetuntes its faint through
generation after generation. Among fts
Eczema, Cutaneous Eruptiona. TIA.
mors, Bofls. Carbuncles, Erysipelas,
turulent Ulcers, Nervous and Ply.
eacal Collapse, etc. IL allowed 10 con.
tinue. rheumatism, Scrofui0us Ca.
ssrrh, Kidney mud Liver Diseases,
Tubcrcuisr Consumption, and vsri-
Gus other dangerous or fatal p,;.lud;es. ara
produced By IL.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16

Speaking of corn. planters, Jones
Gays ne has q pair of new boots that
he viii pat against the world.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16

a. tn the rast. scll any and all kind, :,
agricultural Implements, Rary,,6a,
Macn'nery. Bugyies. Platform Spripv.
an" isrn Wagons: the improvei BosI
eye Mover, Reaper. ind self. Bip..,
winch are superior 10 n Others in ~.
.tructi'n, liah,ncss Of drar. Se ,na
FULLY warranted Hagcrstown Dim ,aa
the Haaers'own celebrated uneon.na'
Locust Hub liay Rake, New d, ns,,",.
md Brown Cultivators, ElectrIe s,,;'s
Asttsting Harrow, Corn Planter. CO.
Crushers, Cider Mills, Fruit Dr,o,.
ihreshcrs, Saw Mill Engines. Babsd
fence wire, &c, &c.
r. In addition to tbe,abcve, You will
at all times find q stock OF Saddle. RI
dies, Harness, &C., &c.
SOLICITING your esteemed pa,rona,,
am, very respectfully yours,
ID. ". llEISKELL.
Romnev, Nov. 9, 1888.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16
KINGS EVIL

Was the nazno formerly given TO Scrofula
became Of . superstition that 1t could be
cured by kings touch. Ths world =
wiser now, and knows that
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1885-01-16
W.T. A Nd HUI NOR .

Wit AND NOR.
z-z-=-=-==>--=-z-
A GREAT SISSER.-Au old lady
seeking religion. vas continually cry
ing out:
oh. what . sinner ami What q
wretch I've teen!'
A brother standing near. In an at
tempt to comfort her, said:
'Yss. you are a great sinner, but
eide hsve you to kuow, sir, that l
am no more Q Skinner than you are.
AMI tba, dit not come here to bs in.
suited BY yeur
a woman rccssDtiy entered store
In Conn. ciieut, and sat down 10 front
OF nm iron safe To warm her feet. At
ter sitting about thirty minutes. she
remarked that she never DID like
item kind Of stoves-they don't throw
ou' scarcely any heat, thos gas-bur-
neis DON'T
Howard Paul tells good story of
an Irishman who, i'm moment of
penitence, had accepted the blue rib
bon. Looking for beverage which.
while Lot Intoxicating. would take
hould and bite he came across "a bot
tie oi Worcester shire sauce. Pouring
out third of Il tumb!er of the pun,
gent stuff and filing up with lemon
ade, he swallowed the mixture at
gulp. After several gasps he ey claim
ed: 'Begorrah, sor, and that bates
oil the whisky ever drunk in my
life'
While her mother was taking a fy
ont of the butter little Daisy asked:
rs that butterfly. mamma 2
Yellow is now the fashionable
shade. Twenty dollar gold pieces are
very stylish.
A few days since a wellknown law
yer, when aeon, to start on railway
journey, after taking his seat. found,
on looking over lis change, that the
clerk had given him twenty-five cents
too much. lie accordingly returned,
and informing the clerk of his mis-
take, handed back the money. For
moment the clerk stood speechless:
then, recovering himself, exclaimed /:
please stand still one moment, sir.
and let me LOOK at you-and law
yer, too'
'Why, john said his mother, as she
caught hlm stealing her cake, Il am
surprised so am L. was the reply,
'for / didn't know you were at home
Some men are born great, some a.
chieve greatness and SOME have great
ness thrust upon them,' remarked a
small man in the street car as a TAT |
woman sat square down en- him.
Il uOn see, observed MIS-. wrap, |
'why, when they are giving away all
them Offices they don't let women hold
something They would. my Gear,
but the women won't do it, ans" cred
Ter husband. We'll, should Ike t.
know. John Crap, what 'hey'I ie,
them hold 2 lie took h hat looked
to see :hat the ball door was open. and
in trembling accents murmurcd, =
Their tongue, my dear
A gentleman, the son of a liberia
member of parliament in England,
wac riding recently near Strait rl-ou-
Avon, when he overlook an agricul- I
tural laborer driving an empty cart
Thinking the opportunity favorable
for soliciting the man's views on po- |
iitical matters he asked him several |
questions, out found little encourage
ment. DO YOU 60 in 70 politics
bout here 2 he at last asked in des.
pair. NO. said the man, L be goiu'
for drain pipes
Speaking of corn. planters, Jones
Gays he has pair of new boots that
he viii pat against the world.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10

UNDERWOOD, Oct. 0.-Everything at
Underwood is quiet. Politics do not dis
turb this little town. Robert Currie, the
grocer here, has been appointed post
master. The first news of his appoint
ment he read in the BEE. John Gray
bill, the present postmaster, also Keeps =
grocery. He sent in his csignation
shortly after Cleveland took his seat, and
it was Just acted on The Office is sup
posed to be worth something less than
SlOO per year. The winter season is the
postmaster's harvest, rs the farmers have
no time to write letters in the summer,
and the number of stamps cancelled then
is considerably smaller than during the
winter.
W. Downs is building new residence.
The firm of Fisher u Sons, the boot
and shoe and dry goods men, is now
called Fisher Rros. Mr.. Fisher, the
father, having now given all his attention
to his farm and letting his sons run the
business.
NV. s. Pcttybonc, of Council Bluffs, is
now burning brick in his kiln here.
Last night as the freight from Council
Bluffs on the Chicago, Milwaukee IL St.
Paul road going east was about n mile
this side of Weston the crew discovered
q telegraph pole ON fire ut the base,
wcst-bound crew who discovered that the
pole had fallen across the track and
would have caused, no doubt, much
damage had it not been discovered in
time.
Underwood is sadly in need OF hotel
and livery or feed stables, rs there are no
such places here. III.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10

and Lowell in answer TO a question was
informed that Reel did rot want the
nomination and would not take il unless
forced to by his friends, but if such was
the case he reserved the right To refuse
or accept it. Mr. Lowell claims Reel in.
formed him he would under no circum.
stances accept. SO Lowell took his coat OFF
! and ,rled for the nomination and was
| "downcd.n ~ Tom Bowman was here on
Wednesday putting in his best licks for
| Reel The township last election gave Il
democratic aiority of fOTty-one, which
! makes Armour's chances good for carry
ing il so long us this feeling exists.
| Among Il number of improvements
here is the new livery barn built for 10.
| scph Shea, the county clerk. 1t is to be
| run by Michael Staplcton as manager,
| and covers 10 by 80 feet of ground.
DR.. l. 4. Van Ness, who went to Shelby
| on Thursday has returned.
DR.. :. n. Harvey and John p. Organ,
who have been in Ogallala, Neb., look
ing after their landed interests, have re-
turned.
A: A. Dorm, the livery man, took a trip
to Council Bluffs, and was yesterday
married there to Miss Katie Thomas.
They returned home last evening
Riley Clark and wife have gone to the
St. Louis fair
The BEE man met +. T. G.. johnson,
who organized the Bluffs City Fire com
pany about 1866 and was the first chief of
the fire department in Council Bluffs.
lie is now n farmer near Nicola.
j. &. Upton and wife, of Council
Bluffs, put up ut the Union hotel last
night and will be at thier home in Coun-
Gil Bluffs Saturday.
Fred Stublcr, OF Council Bluffs, spent
Sunday here.
The Union hotel is the largest one in
the city, and is owned and run by j. "A.
Hamilton, who is also the proprietor of
the Rock Island grain elevator here.
The Nebraska telephone company have
their Noela office located in the Union
hotel.
John Stork was here working the gro
Gerry trade here for Stewart Bros, of
Council Bluffs, and left for his home last
night
Persia and Deiinance have tough
fight against prohibition. Both these
ter twenty miles from here, have to
haul their beer by wagon from this point.
The city hall is the only public hall
this town has, One thing peculiar pc about
it is that the hall is provided with chairs
that cover half the floor, and the other
half is covered with beer kegs, on which
part of the audience are compelled to sit
during an entertainment, the chairs
usually being sold us reserved seats"
while simple admission" gives one u
beer keg TO sit on.
An old folks concert was given here
Thursday night with dance after the
entertainment.
Phil Armour came to Nicola this morn
ing to see what his chances are for ear
ryng the township.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10
A New Departure.

prices at lowest cash value and sell for
cash and abandon the credit system.
We have purchased our large and well
selected stock of goods for the fall trade
with this purpose in view, and our prices
will evidence saving to the purchaser,
This will be 10 the interest of both our
customers and ourselves. 1t saves expense
TO us and annoyance to customers. Goods
can be sold for less, and it enables the
purchasers to receive the best and largest
quantity OF goods for the least amount of
money, HARKNESs BROTHERS,.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10

Many here will remember the subject
of the following notices, and will read
them with interest as it is evident that
Smith has met with Il great change OF life
and purpose since two years OF so ago,
when he was hanging about this city, q
complete wreck, getting II mca2re eNis-
tence by the sympathy OF u few frie nds
who could not but look with pity on one
who was dissipating such bright qualities
of heart. will be gratifying to such To
learn that he is now engaged in putting
down whisky in Il different method from
that practiced by him here. Here are
two sample notices clipped from eX-
changes:
Randolph Smith, the distinguished
southern advocate of intelligent temper
ance, had Il grand ovation from our
people at the skating rink last Thursday
night. His splendid portrayal OF the
danger of third party to the temper
ancc cause has induced our people To re-
quest II second meeting, Never have the
dcmagogues and fanatics received such
Il scoring from man of culture and
ability of the true southern type. His
account of the progress of temperance
work in the south, where prohibition and
party politics are kept entirely separate,
cannot fail TO have great influence in
the nOrth,-State journal, Lincoln, Neb.,
August 1S.
Mr.. Smith is pioneer champion of
temperance instruction in the public
schools, and helped TO have the law
passed in fourteen states. He was the
father of Percy Smith, the Boy Orator"
and the twain originated the kindergar,
ten temperance for children, SO useful
and popular among the black and white
of the south. The boy was killed by the
cars in 1878, leaving n eath-bed message
for children. The father was injured for
life in the Ashtabula railroad disaster
in 1870, where he lost wife, and where
p p Bliss, the evangelist was killed.
The gentleman is II native of Virginia,
graduate of Yale college and is a vet,
eran journalist he reported the trial and
execution of John Brown in Charlestown,
Va, in 1859. His "reminiscences Of this
trial are very vivid and have been given
before large audiences all over tie land.
If kindly received in Tabor, Nj. Smith
viii gather the children on the kinter-
garten plan. He makes his points in
prose and rhyme, and names q small fee
Tor the children's fund. Look out for
small bills.-Tabor Non .Confusonist.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10
A Musical Charade .

T A very choice programme has been ar
ranged for the exposition this evening,
TO consist OF Il burlesque musical charadc
showing High Life" The following is
The east OF characters:
The Marquis of Ballyporeen, n naughty
but Impoverished nobleman, Mr., 5.
Noble.
Lord Titus Mountebank, brother of the
Duke Of llmdrum. Poor in pocket, but
rich in the love he bears the Lady Ange-
ina, Mr. Marshaii Treynor.
The Marchioness OF Ballyporeen, the
heavy mother, Mrs. Ward
J, Lady Angs,li,no g,,,no n pllS,rdnp, daughter to
Priggles, the lady's maid, Miss Anna
Merkel
With the following chorus: Miss Ida
Tosteyin, Miss Matte Palmer, Miss Net,
ie Gerner, Miss Shontz, Miss Wright,
Nessrs. JudsOn, Chambers, Cook and
ucGee, and accompanist, Miss Julia
Dfiicer
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10
Prize for Farmers.

Lamps cheap ut IIomer's, 23 Main
street
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10
Personal Paragraphs.

Mrs, C. NJ. Harle and Mrs DR., McKune
nave gone to Indiana on visit.
Hon. Smith Mcpherson, eN.attorney
general, was in the city yesterday
Mrs. Emerson, of Mount Pleasant, is
risiting her sister, Mrs. Henry Swan, OF
his city,
Mr.. and Mrs. w. ID. Evans, of Malvern,
he parents of Mr.. Il. L. Lindsey, of this
ity, are visiting her and other relatives
md friends here.
Mr. Fred Thompson and wife, who
irm of Van Brunt, Thompson \ Co, have
eiurned to their home in Rockford, and
sill arrange 10 soon remove to Kansas
,iiy, whore they will make their home
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10
Nicola News,

nicola, Oct 9.-Neola is considerably
excited over politics just now, The fight
is confined to the democratic ranks and
is caused by the nomination of Perry
Reel for sheriff. II. T. Lowell, who was Il
candidate before the convention, has
quite following, especially in this neigh,
borhood and Mr. Lowell told the BEE
man he is going to throw his influence in
some direction certainly, but for who, he
is not now prepared to say although one
would certainly infer to hear him talk
that he would support Phil. Armour.
Perry Reel and John Causon, Council
Bluffs city treasurer, We're here yester,
day trying TO pacify the dissatisfied
friends OF Lowell who don't pacify
worth cent The BEE man
had talk with Mr.. Reel and learned his
side of the story. Ii runs in this wise:
He was visited by II. 4. Lowell, whose
candidacy for the nomjnation was man
aged by Albert Rosey, also of this place,
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10

Children get your dimes ready and
help swell the big crowd at the exposition
today. A beautiful programme has been
arranged especially for the children.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10

If you wish to make legitimately from
Ten 10 Fifty dollars per day write to
Judd 4 Smith, No, "a Fourth street,
Council Bluffs.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10
FOR SALE. FOR RENT OR EXCHANGE.

FOR SALE. FOR RENT OR EXCHANGE.
MO. 5S-For sale or rent. on very liberal terms.
"a The Council Bluffs Paper Mill, complete, with
the large boarding house and three acres OF
ground
No. ga business property In Cherokee,
Cherokee county, Iowa, Will trade for western
lands. Value, about 81 900.
No. 39-A beautiful home in the town of Hast
ings, Mills county, Iowa, for Nebraska land.
Value $500.
No IA good business property and also II
good residence property in tho town of Chcnvo,
Mclean county, ILL.,. low down for cash or Will
exchange for western lands
No. l79-A splendid farm well improved, $40
town of Spirit Lake. Price, for II short time,
S55 per acre.
No. lsl to 1S7--Arc four improved farms in
Phillips county, Kansas, each with small in
Cumhrancc. The equitaS will he exchanged Tor
unincumbcrcd wild land i'm Nebraska.
No. lH--4@ acres in Holt county. Neb, partly
improved, nj a big bargain. Wants TO exchange
for merchandise
No. 54-A fine two story brick residence, one
of the best locations in Council Butls. will trade
for good unincunbcred Kansus or Nebraska
lands. Value. $1,000
No. 3, u,ni ll-Are two other beautiful homes
in Council Bluffs, which cnsn pay lens Will buy
at II bargain.
No. STA beautiful suburban location in Iowa
City, Iowa, will exchange for western lands
Value, 5000.
The above are only few of our special bar
gains. II you've got anything to trade or sell,
or want to sell any real estate or merchandise,
write us. We have several good stocks of goods
To trade for lands. SWAN s. WALKER,
Council Bhifs Iowa.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10
wANTs.

EOR RENT-A six-room house, ten minutes
Z walk from business, city water, well and cis-
tern. For rent cheap.
For RENT-No. $50 Harrison street, three
rooms. MCMAHON Il Co,
Pearl street.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10

A premium for the longest ear of corn
from this years crop. For particulars
call on or addressJ Y, Fuller, buyer and
shipper of wheat. corn and oats, No. 30
Pearl street Council Bluffs.
Omaha daily bee., 1885-10-10
CbiI,Irpu's Dny

The greatest day OF all att the exposition
to-day. The Fairies will receive and en-
tertan all the children of the city to-day.
Admission i0c
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1885-06-05
Thanks. Goodnight"

"G. N" responded the girl,
using t,e telegraphic authorizations /;
and then she resigned herself TO anoth-
er hour or two of waiting.
81 don't see why father don't come, f"
she said to herself. ''FIe's been gone
nearly four hours"
But just then there was stamping 2
at the door and her parent walked in,
covered with SNOW.
4 thought you had frozen, father, :"
she said. "You were gone so long"
Il did come mighty near it," was
the reply. Tipped over twice goin'
up. Mrs. Young came back with me.
She's over to the house. Thought
probably she couldn't get through in
the morning. Well, where's the
mail?"
Sadie told her tuther the story so
far as she knew it.
"NYhere'd they telegraph from?'
asked her father.
"Thats just what I've been wonder
ing. The order was dated. BardwelIs
Cut. 1 didn't ask where they we're
because the line WORKED so feebIy and
there was no tine. Ii got the order
through, that was all that was wan
ted of me-"
"Kind O queer, though, seems TO
me, reflected the old man, mot to
know who you're sendin' messages to "
Then Sadie told her father how she
had outwitted the conductor.
The old man laughed.
''The company II turn him off for
acting so,' he averred. "He always
was an obstinate creature"
"Don't tell them of it, father" was
the reply. ''Its no use. Besides, l
don't care about my part of the trans
action coming TO Mackay's ears.
Well, now. let's make it warm and
pleasant here, for therell be d lot of
halffrozen people along by-and-by."
Guess L better go over to the house
an get a lunch ready for 'em, hadn't
r" was the kindly response. 1T will
be one O'clock by the time they get
here
Yes" said the girl, "and bring
over the coffee-pot and the coffee.
They'll need it.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1885-06-05
Two for a Cent Apiece.

a young editor, bright, poor and
punsterious, had won the affections 0
rich mans daughter, and they fixed
day for him to call on the father,
and on that day he was promptly in
the old gentleman's office. "Good
morning, sir" he said, confident, but
ready to run; 81 have called on you
on ma ter OIL
1--WE don't want any advertising to
day." interrupted the oil gentleman,
looking up over his glasses.
81 am not on that business sir.
came to ask you fer your daughter"
"What do you want with herr"
"MaIry her"
"What for?"
"For better or worse"
"What does the girl say2'
"She says she will be my wife"
"Ugh! You haven't got a cent III the
world, have your
eyes, sir. She gave ass NJ, and if
you will do the same that will make
two, and we can buy postage stamp
and write to you for the balance of
our salary"
1t was a wretched attempt, but he
got the girl. Buffalo Times.