davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
Jay Gouid's WaistcOat.
[BroOklyn Eagle


A young friend of George Gould was dining
with the family. Conversation turned on
tricks, and the young friend said he could take
of a mans vest without removing his coat. He
explained that feat, which consists of working
the vest down the arms by gradually coaxing
the shoulders through the armhOles. Then the
vest can be removed by slipping it off under
the coat sleeves. Dexterity and patience are
required. The young man was positive he was
the only one present who could do it. Mr..
Gould listened to the explanation and said that
any man could do it, and that he could do it
Gu the spot The caller was zealousy anxious
to bet his modest pile against an equal sum to
be put up by the millionaire; but the latter
advised him not to bet any more than a big ap-
pie, as he would be sure to lose it. Mr.. Gould
thereupon proceeded to perform the elusive
act He first took off his coat.
Hold on, sir" said the young man, "that is
not permitted; it is barred"
az understand that" replied the banker !;
"I'll put on the coat again. I'm only getting
ready"
Then he took off mis- vest and at once put on
his coat, and succeeded it with putting on his
vest outside of his coat.
"Tm at your service now," he quietly said.
The young man lost an apple, but gained
verification of the important truth that there is
more than one way of doing a thing. In his
own style there is no greater lover Of quiet fun
than jay Gould.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
TArkansa,u Trareuer.l

An old fellow who had just served sentence
of 10 years in the penitentiary was asked if he
enjoyed his freedom. "Well," said he, 'it
kinder suits me until meal time comes, and
then it sorter don't" Don't like to work,
eh?" "Well, no. If had wouldn't or went
to the pen." "How did they feed you?"
"Tolerable. 1t want barbecue, still it did
putty we'll. Only one objection" What was
that2" Had to work for it," Did they
ever whip your" well, they fetched me
with a strap onct." "Hurt you, l suppose ?"
"Well, it didn't feel good" Do You ever
expect to ge back there?" "That sorter de-
pends." upon what?" "Upon whuther or
no they ketch me-" "You don't intend to
work, then?" "Well. not if 1 can help it, 1
amt able" "You look to be a very strong
man. "Yes, but workin' makes me lone
some." "What was the hardest thing you
had to bear in the penitentiary! "Jaw."
Z" What?" "Jaw Young preachers would
come around and talk to u.s." "Why did you
object to the young preachers?" "Well, we
had to sit and listen till they got through
preachin'. 1t made me lonesome"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
About . Broken.DOwn Invalid, and How He Re.
covered His Health.


One Of the busiest editors in Philadelphia,
and one most thoroughly devoted to his work,
is Ecv. Victor L. Conrad, of that widely cir
culatcd religious paper, the Lutheran Observer
He is tho editor, with all of the most
exacting work on his hands. He became, in
consequence a brokendown invalid; but is
now in as good health, and as able to go
through with his arduous duties, as atany time
in his life. A press reporter who called upon
Mr.. Conrad, gives, in substance, the following
account of his interview with that gentleman
III which he spoke Of his loss of health through
overwork, and of his subsequent complete
restoration; and consented, in the interest of
overworked editors, brokendown literary men,
and exhausted men of business, to have his
narrative made public. He said:
By long and unremitting Overwork was
brought into a condition of great nercous ,oeak-
ness. My digestion was bad. had general
feeling of good for -nothngness and was un-
able to perform my editorial duties with salts
faction. / realized that something must bc
done promptly, or uould become a confirmed IN
uaiid. This was seven or eight years ago From
the experience of others knew something
of Compound Oxygen; especially in the case
of a Mrs. Kelley, daughter of Col. Hornbrook
of Wheeling, Va, who was brought to this city
on bed, complete srreck from paralysis and
fearful sufferer from 'aearatgia. 1 knew how
apparently hopeless her case was; and knew
of her complete ftstoratiSn to health through the
use of Compound 0fygen,
{ "To make 4ong Story short, began the
treatment. Improvemeht was slow, but very
apparent. Befofs long That miserable feeling Of
good for. nottingnfSSs scas gone. My ne,pes spere
toned up My st1machp improved and eating
was no longer acause of torment. Recovery
,uas simple dnf pleasant process. / could ex-
perience tho pleasure Of restoration and still
attend to my literary duties. l continued the
I could perform my editorial duties ceu eper
This restoration to health took place several
years ago, and has, beeiil permanent.
"a case even 4iore Wonderful than my own
is that of my braher, altev. f. M. Conrad. HIS
nerroas system vq9y completely shattered by over
work and the ihse 6f powerful drugs. For
several months heiwas Entirely laid aside. The
first effect of Ctnipouhd Oxygen in his case
was the ability to 1btain healthy Sleep to Uhich he
had tong been stranger. Then his ,uhole system
acas toned up His digestion, which had been
greatly disordered became healthy. A marked
Improvement in his eyesight was one of the
most notable indications. He is now busy
among the churches as well as attending to his
duties as Editor in Chief of the Observer.
"The overworked thousands who cannot take
a weeks or days rest from their wcarying
labors. ought to know moro about this Com
pound Oxygen"
A q Treatise on Compound Orygen," containing
o history of the discover and mode Of action
Of this remarkable curativ" agent will be sent
free, on application to DIS. SrARKEy g. PALEN,
HOO and I'LL Girard St, Philadelphia
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
FOR THE LADIES.

An Iowa girl has an album in which she keeps
the pictures of all the young men who have 1irted
with her without coming to the point. She calls it
her rogues' gallery.
"A young man in Cambridge, Mass, who an
noyed young lady by casting reflections from the
sun on her by means of q piece of looking glass,
has been fined for assault. - .-...
= Miss Susan B. Anthony is the guest of Mrs.
Elizabeth Gady stanton at Tenafly. Bergen Co,
n. j. They will devote the Summer months to the
completion of the third volume Of the History OF
Woman Suffrage.
The German Government has discharged all
women who were employed in its postal, telegraph
and aiiway service clerks and in other eapaci-
ties. AS during the last 20 years they have nearly
monopoIzed such service in some towns, much
suffering has ensued among the discharged. The
motive alleged Is. that woman Is unfit for such
public service.
the outdoor exercise ordered by the Doctor. is
driving public carriage for the accommodation of
Summer visitors, and is douby benefited. There
is great deal of sand at Nantucket--Hartford
Times.
Women are numerous in the British civil serv-
ice. In competition for l65 places in the post
Offices 1854 women entered.
Bishop Stevens, of the Protestant Episcopal
Church. has decided that women eligible as
up through the choosing of two ladies to the vesry
of a church in the Philadelphia diocese. The first
decision of the Bishop unfavorabe; but,
after reconSdering and laying the matter before
persons well versed in ecclesiastical and secular
law he reversed his opinion. The question was
considered as legal one entirely, the charter of
citizen of the Commonwealth and the point being
whether not women were citizens in the mean
ing of the law the lawyers decided that the fe-
male members of a congregation were part of the
corporation and therefore entitled to be elected as
vestry women.
- Miss Braddon, the novelist, is a pleasant, ma
tron-like woman, above the medium hight; fair,
with q complexion that suggests more of horse eX-
ercse and the air generally than pens and ink and
hard work in library. Her eyes are small, her
mouth large and characteristics lips firm and chin
strong
A widow in Wilton. Conn.,. says she never in
tends to marry again. She Is l04.
The girl with soft gray eyes and ripping brown
hair, who walked all over your poor fluttering
heart at the charity bali, has just finished crazy
quilt containing O64 pieces of neckties and hat
Innings put together with 81 500 stitches. And her
poor old father fastens on his suspenders with q
long nail a piece of twine, sharp stick and one
regularly ordained button.
"A California belle drives a four-in-hand of
zebras at a Pacific Coast Summer resort She has
her reward. The men say she is a sumner, and the
women say she is highly improper. The zebras
don't say anything but wink they brush the
flies off their striped suits.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
Sword Canes for Ladies'.
philadelphia Times


"I guess I'll have to lay in new stock of
sword canes" said Ninth street dealer in
walking sticks yesterday. "That lady took
the last one l had"
"DO ladies buy sword canes?" was asked.
"Do they? Well, l should say SO. Young
lady artists are heavy customers in them. You
see, they go about the country sketching and
painting and they want something for protec-
tion."
Against tramps?"
"NO, against lizards and snakes-and cows.
They tell me they split a lizard every time
run him right through"
"Are you sure they fight cows with them?"
"That's what they say, but doubt it. Be-
tween you and me, if a girl saw cow coming
toward her she'd drop the cane and make for a
fence every time. That's none of my business,
though. I'm selling canes, and if the ladies
want to buy them, Pm going to encourage
them all can"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
The Rev. Sam Jones on Collections.
Macon Day.

Between two and three thousand people were
in the tabernacle last night when Evangelist
Jones stood up to open the services. He pre-
faced his remarks with the statement that there
were some incidental expenses, such as the gas
used, and that would have to be paid for, and
that collection would be taken up to meet
this. "Any gentleman" he said, "will cheer
fully contribute his mite to help out, for the
demand is necessary and reasonable. There
are some people here, 1 have no doubt, who
will sneer and say, This is always the way
with these religious meetings; anything to get
money 1 am not appealing to these flop
cared hounds. They can keep their hands and
their money in their pockets" Laughter. !
Then the ushers passed the baskets and the
click of silver was heard.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
A New Phrase.


1t will be remembered that curious habit
prevailed among the soldiers, in the latter part
of the war, of designating their respective COM
panies and battalions by the queer names of
outfit " and I" lay -out, while they would call q
brigade shebang.p ).
The story goes t6at Gen. Polignac, the noble
Frenchman who so generously espoused the
cause of the South aud served her with distin-
guished bravery tp the, last, that the General
was once accosted by a, a,,bright-eyed creole boy,
who announced that he, had just returned from
a furlough and wished 10 know where he could
find Col. Censirs layout"
Col Censir's p!hat2 2's p shouted the Gen eral,
his eyes bulging- with astonishment.
"Col. Censir's }ay-ont,'" repeated the lad; it
belongs to your 'shehang.'"
"Well, hope 70 laHd in -" calculated
Polignac who. when excited, sometimes be-
came prOfane, "if know what ze little dable
mean! have bsen educate all my life in re
armee. have hsar Of ze compagnie, ze bat
to e be- dn = to hesr Of zs a'' layout
or ze .shebang before"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
Uncertainties Of the Law.

A Kentucky hen, while being driven out of
q neighbours garden, let fall an egg, which the
woman who drove her out picked up and
utilized suit was brought in court to re-
cover the price of the egg, when it was decided
that :" the egg being layed on the premises of
the defendant it was her egg" An appeal was
taken to higher court, when this decision was
reversed, on account of the word "layed" hav-
ing been used. "The hen did not lay the egg,
but dropped it," The moral Of this story is not
very obscure.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
A Deserved Compliment.

The well known pianist, Leopold de Meyer,
is the hero of an adecdote which, "se non
g vero, c ben trovato." He was playing some
wears ago before an Archduke of Austria, and
in his anxiety to please his illustrious auditor,
exerted himself so strenuously that he literally
perspired at every pore. AT the conclusion of
the concert the Archduke deigned to express
a wish that the artist should be presented to
him. Monsieur" blandly remarked his I'm
perial Highness, have heard Thalberg," Ia
pause and a low bow from the pianist) 81 have
heard Liszt," (another pause. and still lower
bow J "but l never yet met with any one" Ga
third pause, and a quasigenufection on the part
Leopold de Meyer,) "who perspired as you
do -
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23

owe have, therefore, no less than 10 Of the
most important letters represented, and it will
be unnecessary TO proceed with the details of
the solution. ltaye said enough to convince
yon that ciphers of this nature are readily
soluble, and to give you some insight into the
rationale of their Development. But be assured
that the specimen before US appertains to the
very simplest species of eryptograph 1t now
only remains to give you tho full translation
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
Thcy Had Been Filled with Kerosene.

IN agent for the sale of hand grenades Wis.,
ited Glen Falls recently and advertised an
exhibition Of his fire annihilators. A match
having been applied to pile of infammable
material, Mr.. Agent made speech extolling
his wares, and, reaching for a grenade, threw
it on the pile. Instantly the flames leaped up
wards, and with CONSERVATION he threw another
and another the fire at each crash growing
fiercer, until the supply was exhausted. Then
it trarspired that the practical jokers of the
town had drawn the contents Of each bottle,
and filed it with kerosene. 1t cost the agent
six bottles of champagne to make himself solid
with the boys, and the next exhibition met
with better success. =
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
Cannot Relp Himself.
TNe,1 OrIcnus pirn,n,ne- I


Mr.. Davis protests against the use Of histo-
ries in our schools which arc calculated to teach
Southern children that the Federal Govern
ment is sovereign. This will be taught out of
the schools. 1t is question of politics of the
future, History is photograph OF the past.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
Hoods SarsaparM

This successful medicine Is carefully-prepared
extract Of the best remedies of the vegetable
Kingdom known to medical science as Alternatives,
Blood Purifiers. Diuretics, and Toncs, such as
Sarsaparilla, Yellow Dock. Stillingia, Dandelion,
Juniper Berries, Mandrake, Wild Cherry Bark
and other selected roots, barks and herbs. A
medicine like ything else, can be fairly judged
only by its results. We point with satisfaction to
the glorious record Hoods Sarsaparilla has en-.
tered for itself upon the hearts of thousands of
people who have personally or indirectly been
relieved Of terrible suffering which all other
remedies failed to reach. Sold by all druggists.
81; six for S.. Made only by c. I. HOOD 6 CO.,
Apothecaries. Lowell, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
Shoot Him On the Spot.
[Boston Traceller.]

Boston Tracater.
The next rebeiiious Mormon who puts the
national flag At half mast should be madc to
"follOw the flag"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23
Just So.
icon Ga.) Tetegraph.1

Macon (1a.) Telegraph
The race is not always to the swift nor the
battle to the strong. The umpire can generally
be bought
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23

What He Should Do.
Boston Post
John Roach had better open a misfit parl6r.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1885-07-23


Precisely. This mistake made differerce
of about two inches and half in the Shot -
that is to say, in the position of the peg nearest
the tree; and had the treasure been benelth the
shot, the error would have been Of little
moment; but the shot, together with the
nearest point Of the tree, were merely two
points for the establishment Of a limo of direc-
ton; of course the error, however trivial in
the beginning, increased as We proceeded with
the line, and by the time we had gone so feet,
threw US quite off the scent. But for my deep-
seated impressions that treasure was here some
where actually buried we might have had all
our labor in vain."
but your grandiloquence, and your con-
duct in swinging the beetle-how excessively
odd was sure you were mad. And why did
you insist upon letting fall the bug, instead OF
bullet, from the skull?"
"Why, to be frank, / felt somewhat annoyed
by your evident suspicious touching my sanity,
and so resolved to punish you quietly, in my
own way, by little bit of sober mystiication.
For this reason swung the beetle, and for this
reason let it fall from the tree. An observa-
tion of yours about its great weight suggested
| the latter idea"
Yes, perceived; and now there is only one
| point which puzzles me. What arc we to make
| of the skeletons found in the hoic?"
"That is a question / am no more able to an.
swer than yourself. There seems, however,
only one plausible way OF accounting Tor them
and yet it is dreadful to bclievedia such
atrocity as my suggestion would implyn 1t is
clear that Kidd-if Kidd indeed secreted this
treasure, which doubt not-it is clear that he
must have had assistance in the labor But
this labor concluded, he may have thought it
expedient to remove all participants iH his
| secret. Perhaps couple Of blows with a
mattocs We're sufficient. while his coadjutors
were busy in the pit; perhaps it required a
dozan-who sLall tell 2D
The end.1
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-12-04
AnnSenents.

Matinee tomorrow at 2:80 p. m.
"Only Woman's Heart will receive
It's one thousandth representation To-
morrow night.
Sale Of seats for "Only woman's
Heart" commences at 10 O'Clock to.mor-
row morning.
OF the "Only Woman's Hearth com
pany Miss Catherine RUBBER is quite a
linguist as well as an actress, speaking
seven different languages quite fuently.
The inimltable commedienne, Miss
Louise Sylvester, aided by large and
talented company, will appear at the
opera-house Monday and Tuesday even
ings, December and s, In her latest and
greatest success, an extremely funny
farce comedy, entitled "a Hot Time"
interspersed with the brightest musical
gems, including selections OF the catch
lest and choicest numbers from the fore.
most comic opera successes OF New York,
London and Paris, "Nanon," "The Black
lIussar," and "Mlkado,' also Ilarrgan 6
Harris popular melodies and innumerable
specialties.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-12-04
A Huge .InIln-

sam Owens, day clerk az the Western
Union telegraph office, had oueer cy.
?erience yesterday about II O'Clock. IL
oeing warm and pleasant, Owens was
walking up Main street In his shirt
sleeves, and from tie pocket OF his yest
hung silver chain attached TO his
watch, but not fastened In the button.
hole AS he crossed Thlrd street man
standing In front Of the Opcra saloon
brushed against him and easily and
quickly lifted the watch outof his pocket
owens rather saw the act than felt il,
and mt once grabbed the mans hand
and recovered his watch. The
men pretended that the thing was a huge
joke, and Owens being in hurry To no.
Jiiy officers, passed ON no the street with.
out learning who the man was. The
police have description of the man.
ca, verify, 1t Is a "huge joke" TO have
a man lift watch out OF your pocket at
1880 in the morning on one of the main
streets of q city OF 10000 people.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-12-04

ages Is claimed. The World has hem =,
lacking Grace on account of his aljegad
connection with the Grant & Ward III, 1
ure,, and saying other things re,ec,jpe ~
tne nonor OF our municipal executive '"
NEW York, Dec. S.-Mavor Grsce ~.
begun libel suit against josepb pnl,t-as
anu tne New York World for a5o ooo
damages In the superior court Tbo
complaint was fled to-day. and sets forth
tnat Pulitzer libeled Mayor Grace in NJ
pnpsI u. various times during the last
~ nnoh.hs. Pulitzer was arrested this
a ILL.,, anu taken to the sherlft's Office,
and was released. r'0VV
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1885-12-04
SAVAGE TRIBES.
Gen. Schollcld Shows Our Army {,
BE Entirely Too Small for
Protection.
Trusting 10 the Government, the People OF
tho Frontier in Imminent Dan
ger Daily.
schoneld,s nerort.

WAsIuNGroN, Dec. 8.--Maj Gen.
Scboncld, commanding the division Of
Missouri says In his annual report that
his force In round numbers CON
slsts Of $500 infantry, 5000 cavalry,
and $50 artillery, aggregatng $4,000 men.
They occupy 90 different stations,
giving an average OF 2al men
at each. lie has the following
to say about the means
necessary TO prevent great destruction Of
life aud property from savage lndians,
"The Indians arc well mounted, having
several ponies 60 ench man,
well armed aud abuudantly supplied
with ammunition. Being tralucd from
early childhood they are excellent horse
men aud expert marksmen, equal IN this
respect TO the best regular troops In the
world. II Is impossible 70 permanently
overcome or hold In subsection such bod
ies OF savages by the show OF any force
far inferior TO them in numbers. II In.
formation OF threatened outbreak Of any
tribe Is obtained IN time IL may be
prevented by the rapid con
centratlon OF troops by rail,
aud this has been done in several
Instances, as IN that In Cheyenne last
summer but II two or three tribes become
dlsafcctod ct the same time, or amy tribe
takes advantage of the absence OF
troops, as they frequently do, 20
manifest their latent hostility, IL
may be impossible TO prevent general
uprising, which must result IN vast de-
struction 10 life and property. Consld-
cradle progress has been made toward
the civilization OF some Of the
tribes, but their savage nature has
not yet been changed and their
love of war has not yet greatly dlmn.
ished, while the temptation 20 engage IN
hostilities and the opportunity 70 do In
jury have been vastly Increased,
the reservation being now sur
rounded ny great herds Of
horses and cattle and by vast
fields Of wheat and corn, aud by thou
sands OF defonseless settlers When the
lapse Of a few years has dulled the fecol.
lection Of past punishment, only q slight
proyocation viii be needed " induce
the young warriors 20 Yield 10 such great
temptation 10 aatlate their native thirst
for blood and plunder aud their brutal
lust. The great majority Of the
frontier population are strangers 70
country They have settled there since
tiif inAAlhH Wfft tHiattu bu tDt itbfiNhr
tons. Relying on government pro-
lection, they are unconscious Of the dan
ger, while 10 truth they are liable Rt
any moment 10 experience nii
the horrors Of savage warfare. The
number Of Indians IN this division is re
ported by the interior department 10 be
about 10000, Of these about 1900
are rated as peaccnble, while
the remaining $4,000 are more
or less unciyillzed and warlikc,
their warriors, who number AZ least 25,-