Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-07-09
BRIGHT BITS.

DOcTOR-"For dinner take forty minutes. -
Timid patient-"Would it be dangerous to
ADD a piece of meat and SEINE vegeta bles?'
0CWtSb Messenger.
mo said Miss Spinster, 81 wouldn't have
any fool of man" And as Won can't ret
any other kind remarked Aunt Susan. lyon
prefer To remain single. Wen, don't know
as ! blame you Boston Trdnscri0t
BOARDING. MIsTREss-"Poor little
fellow. lie has been overcome by the heat
lee SO weak IN have to carry him to bed"
BOdfder-"Why not take this cup of coffee
with YOU! It's a good zeal weaker than the
boy Is. PhttadeLphiU call.
A WESTERN citizen who had been worsted
ln tight was told that he could collect dam
ages. 81 did collect damages he replied,
iiC''lI Iniully. collected everything but a
piece OF my left ear aud two front teeth; |
couldn't find those. '--Ne1o York Times.
as that the crowd going out to the races. or
Is IL q ratification meeting?"
'Nefher, stranger; that man walking so
fast in front is country merchants the 700
other fellows You see are drummers. THEY'LL
get him, stranger. Courier journal.
MAKES DIFFERENCE: De Twirllger-
Have you seen Jones since he was married?"
POnsOnbY-''NO; why2n
De Twrger-"He is greatly changed from
the dude he was"
POnsOubY-''S Sub -dued now, | suDDOse -
PhihadeiDhta C0H-
you enjoying your dinner" asked Bobby Of
the minister, who was taking SUNDAY din
ner with the family, Eyes, Bobby" re-
sponded thesministeF, pleasantly. "Mamma
said this morning that she thought YOU would
AZ she didn't suppose that with your small
salary and big family you get much TO eat
from one weeks end to another. ''-ReJC YORK
Times
THE ADVENT OF July
July comes and finds us shivering,
suffering nights from clammV feet
When we should be steamng, swelterDS
From Old Soils abundant heat.
Sol has proved a recreant lover,
And the gushing maiden June
Played too often with the whiskers
OF the cOldly smiling moon.
-Oo1um6us o. Dispatch.
"WELL, Johnny" said his mother. 'did Won
have pleasant time at the Sunday school
picniCy'
Nav" Johnny gTowled, ~ didn't get
nothiu' to eat but a san which an couple of
| dry cookies with red sand sprinkled on top -
why, what became of the beautiful choco-
to cOntribute2"
1.-THE superintendent an the teachers eat
| 'em.'-Nel0 York Times.
ROUGH on MosFs.-Jim Webster sneaked
into Nose Schaumburgs store on Austin ave-
nue.. picked mp bundle of clothing that had
been rolled up for some customer, and was
| going out OF the door when ne met ScnauD-
| burg himself. Jim thought he was already ON
the cars en- route to the Huntsville penItenli-
airy, when, to his astonishment, Schaumburg,
| who thought Jim had bought suit of clothes.
| patted the guilty Niger on the shoulder and
| sald; y on must call on me again ven YOU
wants Something's. Tegd8 SjftingS.
81 TELL You WHAT" airily exclaimed Per-
| kins, As he sat down to the supper table; II
was IN a tight place this afternoon" ~ es.
/ ! know you Were" interrupted his wife, in a
/ clear, cold utterance that cut like a knife; -
saw you coming out of it," And then il
/ flashed across Perkins mind that he had incl
| dentally stepped into a saloon with friend
| for the purpose of examining doubtful polit-
/ zeal statement, and the supper was finished
amid silence so profound that he could
| plainly, hear napkin ring.-ROckland Cou-
rier.