Morning journal and courier., 1885-11-23
OBSTACLESs

'I don't think our religion will be any ob- stacle to our uniou," he urged; 'I am Spiritualist" ''I am afraid it wills, she fe- piled "Papa is Prohibitionist, you know" Exchange.
 It was 8 New Hampshire girl who remark ed on first seeing steam fire engine in oper ation, t'Who would have dweamed that such a vewy diminutiye looking concern would hold so much watah. Howell Times. A German student who had made very lit tie progress, in taking leave of one of his tu- tors, began thus with pathos: "Herr Profes- sor, to you am indebted for all I know - "Stop, pray!" replied the tutor, edo not mention such trifle. ."-Exchange. Policeman-''Come down out O that young feller." Reporter -''But I'm a reporter and I want to get description of the fire.' Po- liceman-"To the divil wid you. You can't stay there. You kin foind out all about the fire from the papers in the morning. g."-Chi- cago Rambler.
 Tennyson, in his new poem, says: eEThe dead are not dead, but alive" We have no- ticed this peculiarly of the dead. The Phil adelphia Times, in an editorial entitled "Don't be Clam, ,' few days ago, strongly intimated that the alive are not alive, but dead.-Norristown Herald.
 Johnny put that umbrella away before you break it." 70. shut up," replied John ny. Whats that you say?" Nothing, pa pa, I only told the umbrella to shut up so I could put it away, as you told me to-" The explanation came not second too soon, for the old man had already arisen from his chair.-Dansville Breeze.
 ''Have you two fves for ten?" asked a well known man about town of Justice Prin- diville whom he met on the way to court. Certainly have; I can change the bill for you,7 replied the genial judge ''Oh, but I Lave not got the ten, :" replied the fellow. 'I thought if you had two fives you might spare one of them till tomorrow. National Weekly.
 ''Ma, do you know old Mr. slimkinss' old lady. "He is dead" s'Now that's too bad; I've known him so many years ''The paper says he was octogenarian." ''Oh, no; there must be some mistake about that He's been Cumberland Presbyterian ever since I knew him. ''-Pittsburg Chron- iele le-Telegraph.
 Professor at Vassar college: fENow, young ladies, propose to lecture on human anato- my, but I cannot while there is so much hustle among you" All: Professor we can take our bustles off" Professor (con- fused: 'I-I didn't mean that way. You misunderstood me-" All: "Ah, thanks You think they are out of shape, but they are in style. ."-Woman's World.
 Husband-''The census taker was in, dear. He demanded the age of each Of the family, and was obliged to give him yours. He said it was the law" Wife (enraged)- Flaw! What do care for law? John Smith, did you tell that man my age?" Husband (hurriedly)-''Yes, I told him you were 23" Wife (mollifed)-'Well, suppose the law has got to be respected. "-New York Sun.
 In Paris the other day young woman pre- sented herself before Monsieur le Maire, dragging behind her her young man, who was in a considerably advanced state of in- toxication. ''What do you wants" said the maire. "Please, m'sieu, we've to be married" ''But I can't marry you with your intended in that statel" ''Please, m'sieu, it's just the moment. When he's sober he won't come!"
 Handsomely corrected. ed.-Sometimes even the most widewake and accurate reporter is liable to err, is shown by the correction in the Schuyler Vindicator: Instead of be- ing arrested yesterday, stated, for kick ing his wife down flight of stairs and hurl- ing lighted kerosene lamp after her, Rev. James Wellman died unmarried four years ago." It is to be hoped that Rev. Wellman accepts this hearty correction in the same generous spirit in which it is tendered.-Ex- change
 'ss ssezs9nfscenees of thes Sfeee of AsIanIas