Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-02-05
BARRIERS in Germany.

1.-THE first time ever got shaved in
Germany" said a barber, yesterday
afternoon. Il thought | should die. 1t
beat anything | ever experienced be-
fore The BARRIERS over there arepretty
smart looking fellows, but they don't
know the first thing about the profes-
sion as we understand it in this coun-
try. The better class of people, as &
rule, do not go to the barber to get
shaved-the barber goes to them. II
you take up your residence in German
town, one of your first callers will be q
barber soliciting your custom. He will
undertake to shave YOU three times a
week for about 81 per month, four
times Tor about $3.50, and daily for
about $3.50. He viii call on YOU on
shaving mornings just as YOU get out
OF bed. and you can make yourself as
comfortable rs possible in straight
back chair, and have Your neck broken
III any manner that suits Your taste best.
The barber carries his implements
of torture in a little morocco case.
something like a corn Doctors In a
little patent-leather roll he carries his
apron. When he enters the room he
dances around like a daddy long-legs
on a hot griddle, and lays his traps
wide open on the waSh-stand or table
He mikes his lathcr with his finger, and
when You have screwed yourself up in
the chair he looks at you steadily for a
moment to see if Your nerves are all
right, and then he daubs YOU. lie never /
uses a lather brush. No, he scarcely
knows what n lather brush is. He
smears suds over your face with his i'm
gers. and doesn't seem to be particular
whether he lets you taste it or not.
''After he has Smeared you with Suds
he comes at you with the razor. Then
he commence There is no rest for
your head but he doesn't mind that.
He puts his strong, cold, clammy left
hand on Your forehead and bends your
neck back as though it were construct
ed on the universal joint system. If
you will sit in straight-back chair and
throw your head back, keeping it in
that position for about two minutes,
you will be able to form moderate
idea of the torture the barber in Ger
many subjects one TO. But it will be
only a moderate idea, for he isn't there
to pull your head down lower than ma
ture ever intended it should 90 when
ever you show the slightest inclination
to straighten it up. The pain across
the back Of your poor neck becomes
excruciating at once, but you soon lose
sight of it. The moment he begins to
skin your jaw against the grain, you
forget all about the back of your neck.
He tiourishes the razor above your head
t + a moment, maks feint or two, so
as to inspire you with terror. and then
swoops down on you suddenly and
sends you off into spasms. Spasms
are nothing to the German barber. He
pays no attention to the contortiOns of
your face nor the writhing of your body.
but fourishes his razor once more, and
as he hacks the short hair on the tender
part of your chin you drop gently into
a CONFUSION, from which you recover
only to see him packing up his tools
preparatory to flight. Then as you
straighten up in the chair, bewildered
as one who has just awakened from
horrible nightmare, he smiles, thanks
you, bids you good morning, and is
gone st L0uis Globo-Dooolocrak