Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1885-11-19
HUMOROUS.

Talking about dates. one ought to
have them at ones finger ends said
be. "Whyp" said she. ''Oh. because
their home is on the palm. "--EUaRs-
vile Argus.
Professor; "In one evening I
counted twenty-seYen meteors sitting
cp my piazza" Glass expresses great
asizanishment at the sociable character
Of tk$ heavenly bodies. Boston budget.
"A little gill of $50 and half years
surned her finger for the first time the
ether GSv. She placed her hnger or a
hot potato. and suddenly drew it back,
exclaiming, "Oh der's a pin in IT,
Boston Courier.
Little Charley Papa, viii you
buy me a drum?" Fond father-"Ah,
but my boy, you will disturb me very
much II do" Charley-"O. no, papa;
I won't drum except when you re-
asleep. Pittsburgh CAronieie.
johnny, is your sister imp "I
don't know. Lemme see what's your
name?n "Barnes-,lr. Barnes" IAN
right, Mr.. Barnes. You Just sit down,
and I'll ask Sis whether she's home;
but don't think that's the name"
"A High School boy at Lawrence.
Mass. went home delighted with tho
idea Of the military drill about TO be in
troduced in the school II tell you."
said he, pityingly. to his sister, 1T
pays to be boyH'-GO'den Days.
IL see," said Mrs. De Wigs to her
husband, ''lhat the King OF Bavaria is
In debt about 97,5O0.OO0." "Yes.
"How in the world can he have got 20
deeply in debit" dunno. unleis he
KEEP. two hired girls. ."-P,ttsOargh TEL
egraph.
Gus de smith, want 10 hire you
to take me out TO the lunatic asylum
and back. How much do you charge
for the rolnd trip? Colored Hackman
DE Lor! Yer amt gwnter come
back arter you once get out dar, is yer.
honey Ie1as Sgtfngs.
"A young married couple of Sails
bury, Md, have named their first boy
Neptune" because they became en-
gagged while on a sailing voyage.
There's an ocean for youi No doubt
young Neptune will frequently encount-
er smacks --AOrriStoi0H Herald
Doctor lyon see. wifey dear, I
have pulled my patient through, after
all; very critical ease. / can tell you
His wife-"Yes, dear hubby; but then
you are so clever in your profession.
All, If / had only known you five years
earlier! l feel certain my first hus-
band-my poor Thomas-would have
been saved. IN j. Ledger.
Grocer to new boy)-You must
tell people that We are very busy,
james, whether we are or not They
like 10 buy OF a firm that they think
does large trade. New boy. All
right, sir. Grocer "a little later)-
Didn't old Mrs. Benson want anything.
James7 New boy-Yes, sir; she want
ed a couple o mackerei an ten pounds
o. brown sugar, an 1 told her we was
so busy we didn't know which way to
turn, an so she said she was In a hurry,
an she'd get en- round the corner. =
HayPer's BdsGT.
"A little three-year-old. the young
hopeful OF an estimable lady on Riety
Hill, In Salem, Is just beginning to
verge into the period Of childish inyes-
tigation, doubt, and inquiry. The hstle
fellow had heard the words grass
widow" and hastened 10 inquire It's
meaning Of his mother. BY way Of IL
lustration she told him that II his father
should run away and leave her alone
without any cause then she would be a
grass widow The future Senator
looked up in his mothers face and said;
''Ihen wbat'd 1 be? Would / be a
grasshopperP'-Salem (0re.) Staiss-
man.