New-York tribune., 1885-07-20
TIE TAX OF THE DAH.

seaside landlord with lamentable OF gaI.auiry
says: Ono sprtuelle girl will eat up, waste and mus
food than any two who sit ct my tables.
Id rather board bear"
Sam Jones generally makes ert when he sets
about to do It, but he failed In the other day.
He noticed o od-for nothing young fellow loaing
around on the ragged edge OF his meetings. and seizing
the first opportunity he button-holed him and said See
here, my friend, Why don't You come to Christi" Tho
man hesitaed moment and then said Cause aint
ftten." Jones snapped back: WELL get htten. them
With lugubrous but languid sigh the other arawled
out: Fact is, amt htten TO get itten." Sam Jones
passed on to the hymn
Sunday catch down TO the White House kitchen for
morning iry There was defiant rap at tue onse
permission, he opened II.
MY sir. do nothing fer you The failure Of
Hang yonr reform bait" suggested the visitor.
What want what we all want, Is post Office"
ing Democracy viii sell you the right to canvass for
regular rates. ~ Hartford Post.
The recent census returns many Western cities arc
provoking all kinds OF ordinations and recrimnations
The rivalry between Western cities will be great
that detectives win be put the track OF travellers
who enter them to they going to register as
citizens.
held her tiny hand in mine and clasped her fairy
And told my tale Of ardent in language sweet and
And when paused for want of breath she raised her
And whispered low. don't catch please sing your
song ag'in." lst. Paul Globe.
Hungry guest" How is this ordered a steak and
DO ached egg the egg, but where Is the steakP
sable attendant. OATS All right. san DO s1esA am
under dc egg.'-lChIcago Rambler.
The State funds OF Anam touched by thieves
or burglars They put in hollow logs, which arc
then sealed. and placed in the ponds where the royal
crocodcs are kept. And although the ponds are very
shallow nobody ever swns out after those logs In fact
there ia general impression that would be unhealthy
to do So
Phrenologist examining head)-" You are poet, my
dear SIR ,,,,
Subject" Never wrote line of poetry in my life"
Phrenologst-" Incredible. NJ dear SIR. you snou
try your hand You have taste, love of beauty poetry
Subject. How do you knowp
Phrenologist-" Easily enough This bump over the
left temple reveals 1t all Is an open book to the one
Subject tcheckin. him)-"And the most remarkable
thng about II is that the bump appeared only ye'er-
Pirenologist-" Phenomenal. can't account for it."
Subject (gloomily)-" can"
Phrenoiogist-" Indeed. Howp
Subject" called a man aliar'-Phladelphia Can.
We hasten to inform readers that the "coai tip
pe which has just been wrecked at Wilkinsburg Pcnl
was not something drink II WAS only contriyance
FOR unloading coal. IL was called "upple' because II
went down so easily. sabe i-lBoston transcript
pretty, well dressed little chili WAS standing on tho
front steps other fathers house last evening singing
want be angel. and with the angels stand wnen
ragged street arab passed. by Look here. young un
he said do you know you've got to die aud be buried
before you can be angelr The childs eountenance
fell for q but quickly recovering hersel sho
answered: "I don't care, anyhow. I want TO Do an
angel; and she continued her song