davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
HOW NOT To SMILE.
Troubles which Acton Endure In Keeping
Their Faces strAight.


Troubles which Aetess Endure In KesPina
Their Faces Straight
baltimore Herald.l
Isn't it marvellous" said ono man to an
other at the Academy oas night not long
ago, show that fellow on tn stage can say
such ridiculously funny things without al
lowing ripple OF . emile to creep ecross his
countenanceF
NO. not marvellous exactly" replied the
other who was an actor, hnguidly lower.
ing his opera -zlassss and emifng his mus-
tachs sententiously, "but Il requires an i'm
mense amount OF practicA Il b ono Of
those arts which the public never apprs.
ciat, until brought Into contact with some
chattering idiot ~ho always laughs first at
his own jokes Then the o6snss becomes
appalling. To keep from laughing bsfors
On audience is a difficult thing to do and
often battles the most dsspsfats efforts Of
lecturers and actorA To save their soul
they cannot choke of the miserabas xmiis
that will come snsaking over The face at
the wrong tina Some Of the funny mon
have spent months Of pracsics over this one
thing Mark Twain explains that b doesn't
smile when cracking jokes because saying
funny things always naakss hin feel sad.
The most successful humorist on tie stags
Is he who has an exprsnivs faos which b
can settle into . position ot calm and mourn
full despair the moment he JOKE leaves his
lips The more solemn the humorist the
greater the effect Of his worda Moth ing
pains or dampsns the enthusiasm q IN au-
dienes so much IS to discover that the funny
man knows that he Is funny When be
laughs il makes them feel ~ II be Is simply
inviting them to do Ekswiss In . cold
bleojed fashion. and hat makes them mad
They pay their money 70 - ths show. and
they love to deluie thsmsslvss with the idea
that they are actually discovering tho
humor Themselves, and that they are laugh
ing spontaneously.
Many devices havs bssn put In use by
actors and lecturers 30 keep from smiling.
but the simplest and most effective b to put
. small wooden button in the mouth and
bite down on il every time The impulse to
laugh makes itself manifest Some grit
their teeth, or crinEe their t0sa. and Hughey
Dougherty. the famous minstrel. for . long
time resortsd to The schsns uf sticking Q
pin IN his thigh Peopss who have not been
on the stage cannot imagine What
agony il is TO atssmpe e ksap ffom laugh
ing. For this rsasoa 10y cannot sympa-
thin with that grsssful- fellow mp there Is
he glides about with sinuous motion alive
with suggestive Hesturss and draps ons az.
crutistine funny thing after anotSss. Per
haps he is hardened and can hold his skin
taut but ten chances 10 o. as this very
moment he Is usrvoualy clutehing his en-
gers his hg musessa ore e<AePacssd. his
scalp is itching With xuSYaA and b vouA
give el.ooo could - AnA board mp b
front Of him and indulgs in . good. square
smoker
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
REGIMENTAL REUNION.
HEADQUARTERS EIGHTH KANSAS,
ATCHISON. kas.. June. as.

HEADQUARTERS EIGHTH KANSAS, !
ATCHIsON, Has, June, rs. !
DEAR CoMRADE - Twenty years
ago the Eighth Kansas disbanded a. q
military organization. About eight
years ago q few members met ut Leav-
enwOrth and organized . Regimental
society, with at that time but few
names on our Roster-and your score
tary is pleased to report that the Ros
ter now contains of Co. A, II; B, 50;
c, 81; ID, Al; E, 50; r, 81; G, Is; H, q;
|, q, and X, 3,--total IA names and
addresses. There are many names
yet to be added, and It is especially re-
quested that all members having the
report of our reunion held at Leavcn-
worth two years ago, will examine the
list of names, and report all names
known to them not on the list. giving
company and address to the secrc-
taIy.
take great pleasure in informing
you that the Eighth Kansas will hold
Regimental Reunion at Topeka,
Kansas, September 10Th ,3Oth and Oct
ober lst, 1885, during the General
Soldiers Reunion, aud you are earn
estly requested to attend with your
families and comrades, anG make this
reunion grand success. You can
obtain all necessary information in
due time, IA TO railway rates. time OF
departure of trains, ETC., from your G.
A. X. Post, or the railroad agent OF
your town. Fraternally Yours,
JOHN A. MARTIN,
CHAs. w. Rust. President.
Seer etary.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Three New Ideas In styles


Said the barber: This imperial is going
out Of style and is now never worn by
young men except to lengthen a moon face
or hide deformity. Even the elderly men
are having them cut OF. The fashion for
perfectly smooth faces is constantly get
ting foottold. The style was set by act
ors and kept in motion by aesthetic school
girls, who complain that the mustachs
tickleS As . rule. the growth Of hair on q
lightcomplexioned person is more luxuri-
ant than on the dark skin. The rage for
banging the hair in front OF the ears has lost
favor in duds circles
Said. the shoemaker: young men are
wearing Shoes with much thinner .oles than
formerly. Many Of them prefer what IS
known as the paper sole, long in vogue
among women to shop in of an az
ternoon. Tie fashion is coming around
gradually 10 pointei toes again. Patent
leather Is not much used fer street Shoes.
yellow. pink and maroon-co,orei kid is
liked better. Tas yellow shoe,trinys are sell
dom Gale for except by colored persons or
rustic
Said toe notion dealer: Bright colors in
cravats will Be most sought FOR. The fash.
Ion will be plaid Of black AMI yellow, and
yellow AMI crimson. or purple AMI pink.
The coming cravat will be OF tie PATTERN
worn by our fOrefathers---the kini that ties
in front in . knot and falls down carelessly
over the shirt bosom The shirt-hider is in
exile
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
CLEARWATER.
CLEARwATER, July -

CLEARwATER, July %.
To the Editor Of the Eagle:
The only topic Of conversation Is.
are we to have q corn crop this sea-
son? We have many chronic grumb-
lers. With them it is always too hot
or too cold, too wet or too dry. Every
thing is wrong. Nothing would grow
and we would have Q failure. Well,
we have had it very vet, and now are
having it very dry, yet our early corn
crop is looking well, wheat is secured,
oats are in the stack, and unless our
dry spell holds too long We are all
right. Late corn. of course, will
be materially injured unless We
have rain soon. So let
every one be encouraged and
not find fault for Kansas, particularly
the Minnesota valley has never failed
of good crop yet and it will not this
year. We shall have seasonable rains
and all will be well. Eastern farmers
have had encouraging reports from
their friends here, and are buying our
farms and all are greatly pleased with
their change. We have no ague or
chiIls, very few fevers or lung dis
eases. The facts are, Kansas is the
poor mans friend, and each
mans pride. 1t has been
settled under adverse circumstances
but has never deceived its most san
guine admirers. We have the soil
that never disappoints; we have the
air and water which gives health, Wig
or. good constitution, and of course
beauty follows.
Our town is preparing to incorpor-
ate and organize q city government.
With that we can fix up our city and
make needed improvements which
will be the pride of our people and
admired by all strangers.
Let everyone improve and ornament
his own house and and it will be but
a short time before Clearwater will be
the most desirable town for home in
this beautiful valley. ALPHA.
July 81, Z an .-Beginning to rain.
The good Providence is smiling upon
US. The appearance is very good for
a rainy day. A,
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01

The EAGLE showed considerable
enterprise last Thursday morning. As
soon as the news of q en-. Grants death
reached them, they inserted the dis
patches and run off an extra edition of
the daily which was upon the streets
within an hour and half after the re-
ceipt of the telegram. Who SAYS that
Kansas cannot produce enterprising.
get-up-and-git journalists? For genu-
inc unadulterated newspaper enter
prise the EAGLE carries of the paste
pot.-Sedgwick Paragraph.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
WICRiTA'S LOSS-KINCMAN
GAIN.

Faili:g TO secure any tangible results
in reference to the numerous railroad
schemes. by which he proposes 10
that Kansas City will dwIndle into
mere insigniiicance by comparison,
Col. Murdoch now turns TO the old d.,
NJ. & A. route as originally marked
out, to run through that city and
Reno county. Ii calls the ''men of
Wichita" to action, avering that it is
very practical line and will become
paving investment. Why. of course
it will. There is 10 question about
that, and the field will soon be Occu-
pied The road is now under contract
TO Larned. and will be pushed as fast
as money and men can build it. But
Wichita has lost her opportunity.
When she was called her lamp was not
trimmed and burning, and Kingmau
will lead the procession. With the D.,
NJ. Il A. to be completed to Kingman
this fall, and through the county next
| spring, with direct northeastern con-
uections over two or three roads to
Kansas City, St. Louis and Chicago,
assured within few months, King
man will rapidly.come te the front as
the chief railroad center of southern
Kansas, and not many years hence
will find her the successful rival of
Wichita. This is what hurts the
EAGLE and causes the old bird to cry
hoarsely TO its readers TO wake up and
try TO checkmate us. Its efforts will
hardly succeed.-kingman Leader.
This d., NJ. & A. enterprise has, We
believe. been referred to once or twice
before. And as it occupies all the ter
ritOry between the Mississippi river
and the mount aims of course no other
new road can be projected without
running into its domain. All the
same the Wichita & Colorado line will
be constructed and over the line des-
ignated BY the EAGLE. But that the
EAGLE line will necessarily hurt the
prospects of kingman's d., NJ. & A.
We will not admit. There is room for
us all in this broad valley, my brother.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01

The Wichita EAGLE gushcs forth
with an article about what il calls the
boss game of base ball yet played in
southern Kansas. between the Wichi-
| tas and the Kansas Borders, the score
standing Is to Il in favor of the
Wichitas. There has not been a match
game played in Harper county this
season where the score ran so high.
The game. between the Graphics and
the Soldiers last Sunday only scored
9to Z. Ii don't seem 10 us that the
fellow who did that monkey work
ever saw a good game of ball-IIarper
Graphic.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
yr.d Doasr.... Ear.ie., Memory.
Louisville CourierJournal

snow tell NE your earliest memory said
Miss Peabody To Frederick Douglass onc
day As the opening OF Q conversation. -Your
first questioning Of thing After . mo-
ments meditation Douglass told his simple
first memories-ths lizards on his grand
mothers fence. the well sweep. etc But
my first questicningx These / remember
well enough, Why am . black boy and
why is Dan Floyd vhisel Way can hs
strike ne and why must I never striks
back Why do some OF Us live in the cabins
and 60 hungry, while some I've in The BIG
houses and have enough 70 ea;l II God b
good. Why did be make me . siaverS
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
A Terrible Revenge.

Frederick Brytons unique verbal phrases
have won for him q certain sort OF celeb
ity. His late. { mot refers to a New York
critic. Of Hebrew origin, who had rever
been able to commend Bryton's acting.
Raging the other day over a fresh scoring.
Bryton burst forth with: IN get even
with that fellow yet, if l have to pound his
grave with a hami'
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01

Postmaster General Villas denies
the report that he had sent second
confidential letter to Democratic con-
gressmen concerning the removal of
Republican postmasters- We are
glad of this for Villas sake. He is q
nice man, and nobody enjoys seeing
him make a spectacle of himself
Leavenworth Times.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Office of DIR. F. b. Allen, NJ. d.,
1904

Office of DIR. Z. b. Allen, NJ d., I
Wichita, Kas., January 20. 1894. !
Prof. Samuels:
Dear Sir-Those eye glasses that ! pur.
chased Of you are giving entire satisfaction
l can read much longer and easier with
them than any have ever used. They
seem to rest my eyes, and it is pleasure to
wear them. have not used them long
enough to know what the final result will be
but thus far my sight seems to improve
with their use. Very respectfully,
f. IL ALIEN
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01

1874. Quarter section Of Cheney az miles,
living water, by Ninnescsh. frios - so.
ISIS. Qnartsr section Q OF wichita miles.
unimproved but splendid land; cash Price
lSa. leo acres Of snimproved land northwest
Of Garden Plain Miles. Prics 81 SO.
lss0. Quarter section n " Of Garden Plain. %
ing water, Price 81. 600.
ISL. 80 acre tract sdjoining the Jewett stock
farm for sale at ESQ.
road town on the A., T.& S. Y. railroad; all
good land. Price %. 100.
BUSINESS PROPERTY.
No. 5ss. Fine business property on North
Main street. Pays Is per cent.
No SIS. Vacant lot ON Main street, 81 500.
nue., brick building, $40, 90
No. scs. Three los on North EmpOria ave-
as. Lot and building on east side OF Main
street; good business property. rents well.
4. Business lot and s-story brick building
In desirable location ON Main 1irrei; rents we'll
i2I s-story building on Main street. one Of
the best locations In town. corner lot Slo: co
avenae; old builsiing, hnt very cheap d e7ao0
La. One sere lot On Flint street email house
Of or rooms. two porches, young trees.
SsS. Warehouse and barn on Water street,
lot sOxi40 feet. ea.oo0
zi. Fine business BLOCK on NAN street; VIII
No. Is. Six lots on Douglas avenue, e6cO0.
RESIDENCE PROPERTY.
No. COL. House and four lots on North Main
street, %, 800
n, sO. Large corner lot on East Dougla.
No. So. 1hree tenement houses. down town,
large corner lot; a choice Investment. ~. 90.
No. 596. Two lots In West W iehita. $50.
q 400,
NO. 500. Good house on North Emporia ave-
nue.. rooms, fine fruit and shade. si.coo.
nue., 81 $50.
No So. Large lot and new house on East
Douglas avenne. very cheap; -. 10,
enne, sAo.
rr.se. ss.s.
snns lot s. feet froni; all convenience. ss go.
81 800 cash, baisnce long H.. per cent;
ra re cn ..c Tor .ne r,gn. parry s, r. .
NO. DO. Neat cottsge on Sontn Topeka ave-
nne, corner set. reass well; y ,o0.
NO. 2.s; small mouse on ina avenue ~.
80; o'z- house. r"oms' 0" fou''n A'e""e'
L. NO. U. one stoIy Ireme mouse OF rooms on
Fourth ave, down tDwn; very cheap al ~ ,yo.
NO. ~ New house on SCUM TOPEKA avenue.
~, 400
$40 Lot containing X acres on Topeka ave
nne all in fra !. and shade trees. splendid =
| buile inx.. A rare bargain. os.0p.
40 fOxI4o feet on Fourth avenue, Mead's
\ addition, good house Of history, rooms with
closets and cellar, nice fruit aud shade trees.
| Ali fenced: hirhest ground In the city This
| place IL cheap 1t -, 30.
No. III, Eegsns residence on Topeka ave-
| ousS1iI.Rnss; bread walk picket fence, nne
| fruis md aSniie tress. HsOO0
No. "a. Two houses IN Wichita street, i've
| ,ooma eaeh eemenfed cellar pantry and clos-
- - -..h' S<,r,.. NJ. .h.ds tree iof .nvIso
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Not To BE Seooped

II any one is contemplating going vhers
The woodbine tvineth. hanging thsnolvsa
fooline With . mule. becoming hae bah
umpire, killing his or her mother-in-iav,
eating rough on rata moaheyinS with bon
saw, q doing other rash and political dssdA
Pasass give n hiu3 On Thuzndays q M
dAys - - 60 70 prS0 sAriy 6aeUoay
nosaing,
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01

Secretary Whitney hasn't had
much TO say since he closed up Rosch's
shipvsrd and threw a thousand men
or more out of employment. As a
matter of fact, however, there isn't
much for him to say.-Leavenw orth
Times.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Office of the Board Of the /
U. 8. Examining Surgeon, 7

To those who are afflicted with imperfect
vision, cheerfully recommend Prof ii.
Samuels as being q competent optician, and
he comes highly recommended by some of
the ablest physicians in the West.
A. II. FABRIQUE, NJ. ID.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
C. A. r. ORDER.

HkADVV 'kIEIIs IIkFAkINkNr OF hANsAs,
GRAND ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC.
WICHITA, KANSAS, July 81. ISIS.
CIRCULAR
No 4.
All comrades of this Department
designing TO attend the burial Of Gen.
eral Grant VIII report 10 Senior Vice
Commander I. McCarty, at the Fifth
Avenue hotel in the city of New York
on the evening of August Z. BY com,
mand of
MILTON STEWART,
Dept Com.
/. y. WoopCoCK, Asst. Adjt Gen.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Florence Marryat's Haired Heroes

New York Times.l
~Why are your heroes always light
hairedr asked New York admirer Of Miss
Marryat, the novelist, a few evenings ago.
-Chieny because they are not light-haired."
was the reply. "When I write. / write about
somebody I've seen. somebody
I've known. Dark haired men have been
the ones always to impress me; changing the
hue Of their hair has been one means I've
used 10 cover no personalities
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Office Of the Board OF the)
U. 8. Examining Surgeon,
Wichita, KS, January 10, 1884.

q. .. Examining SufgeOh,
wichita, KS, January 19,lSS4.
Prof. Samuels:
Dear Sir-I cheerfully add my name to
the many who have testified to the worth of
your glasses. The pair obtained of you
give me great satisfaction. With the glasses
/ have heretofore used have not been able
to read more than half an hour at . time
without WEAKNESS to my eyes. Now l can
read continuously without pain or blurring
OF vision. A. II. FABRIQUE, NJ. ID.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Prof. Samuels,
OPTICIAN,
Has Returned and il Stopping q,
Present at tho
Manhattan Hotel, Room 10,

Prof Samuels offers to those that are suf-
iering from weakness and defective sight
his improved crystal glass spectacles, supe-
structed in accordance with the philosophy
of nature, admirably adapted to the organs
of sight and perfectly natural to the eye.
The advantages of these spectacles are:
First-That they can be worn with per
feet ease for any length of time at one sit.
ting, giving astonishing clearness of vision
by candle or other artificial light, and COM
fort to the spectacle wearer hitherto I'M
known.
Second-It requires professional guidance
even when good article is offered. Prot
Samuels not only has the best glasses thai
can be found, but carefully examines the
eyes If the patient and gives indispensable
advice rs to the proper selection Of them.
Third-These glasses are scientifically
adjusted to every case of defective sight
with unerring accuracy, whether arising
from age or strain or premature decay. BY
Prof. Samuels. on new and exact principle
entirely his own.
Prof Samuels, to Ggnalize himself from
the hosts of pretenders in his profession
will submit for inspection copies of testi-
monials Of the most unquestionable re-
spectability and talent of America. also q
number Of letters from well known people
who have used his glasses.
The use Of any Of the following names OF
certificates without an actual possession o!
the same would be forgery, an offense
punishable by imprisonment in the states
prison.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Wichita, Kan, Jan. 81, 1884

Wichita, Kan, Jan. 81, 1884.
To Whom it May Concern:
l heartily endorse Prof. Samuels as an OPP
tician-a master in mechanical aids to sight.
His ability is unquestioned, and recon-
mend anyone who has defective vision, with
whom nv professional influence bears
weight to give him trial.
c. c. FURLEY, NJ. d.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01
Wichita, Kan, Jan. "a, 1884.

Prof. Samuels:
Dear Sir-Being among the the first to
avail myself Of your professional services
in this city. and having tested your crystal
glasses, which you fitted upon me. l feel a
sense Of DUTY As well as pleasure in saying
that they have proven thoroughly satisfsc-
tory, enabling me to read with the greatest
ease and without wearying my eyes. take
great pleasure in commencing you TO all
who require artificial assistance, believing
your glasses 10 be the best in use.
remain yours respectfully,
II. Il. OWENS NJ. ID.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01

Wichita, Sept %, 1884.
Prof Samuels, the op,ician, having re-
turned to this city, take pleasure IN rec
ommending Inn as an expert in his special
ty. r H. RESTz, NJ H.
Consultation free-Office hours a. m. 70
p. m.
y. B-Owing 20 engagements elsewhere,
Prof Samuels will remain here but 3 short
time.
Prof Sannuels does not attend TO business
outside Of his rooms, and has no one con-
nected with him.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1885-08-01

L. y. woopcocK. Asst. Adit Gen.