Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1885-06-15

Is it correct to speak of a sick lawyer
as an illegal man?
The administration is making brave
effort to convert Vermont into pivotal
state.
A spring poet sings: "Will they miss
me, 1 wonder?" If they do they never
ought to fire another gun.
A New Jersey woman planted potatoes
while her husband rocked the baby and
sang, ''Hoeem, Sweet, Sweet Hoe'em."
1t is said that violin played among
flock of geese will start them dancing.
Every one who has attended dance is
aware of this fact.
"Can a cat come down a tree head first?"
asks writer on natural history. Certain
ly, we have seen them do it; but then,
we had gun along.
''Why do bees make wax?" asks writ
er for farm journal. Simply because,
dear friend, until very lately they have
been unable to get it ready made.
Mamma dining OUTFIT isn't polite,
Robby, to smack your lips while eating.
You never do that at home." "Robby-
"Cause we never have anything worth
smacking over"
George Riddle of Carol county, Mo-,
has twenty-five daughters. He lives just
on the outskirts of civilization, and when
ever dressmaker locates within 25 miles
he moves further into the woods.
An agricultural journal says, "Spring
is the best time in the year to move bees"
1t may be; but if bee settles on your
neck or any other portion of your anato-
my in the fall, don't wait until the spring
to move it.
Dumley complained at the supper table
of not feeling just right. "Perhaps, ven-
tured the landlady, "your dinner didn't
set WE'LL" 'No," he said, s'it can't be
that That chicken we had was fowl of
too much experience not to set well''
Lorenzo Day having married Miss Mar
tina Week, local paper comments:
A Day is made, Week is lost,
But time should not complain;
There'll soon be little Days enough
To make the Week again.
By ludicrous mistake of the copyist,
one article in the written warrant for
town meeting posted according to law in
town Office at Winthrop, Me-, reads:
''To raise sum of money for support of
poor and other necessary town officers" !"
''Where's the bar?" asked dirty-look-
ing stranger of a waiter at hotel, the
other day. 'sWhat kind of bar?" asked
the latter. ''Why, liquor bar, of course;
what do you suppose mean?" "Well,"
drawled the boy, s'I didn't know but you
might mean bar of SOAP"
"How are things to-day?" whispered a
young man to a friend who had just come
from General Grants hall door, where he
had been speaking to the servant. "Bet-
ter, replied the friend in the same eau
tious tone. douglas has eaten his break
fast with some relish, and DR.. Shrady is
resting comfortably" sBut how is Gen.
eral Grant?' asked the first speaker.
"Grant?" was the answer. go, I didn't
ask about him. 1 was merely anxious to
ascertain how the doctors were getting
along"
sEver hear about the time was chased
by bear out West when didn't have a
weapon of any sort about me, Blucher?"
81 never did. How on earth did you
manage to escape, old fellow?" s.Tried
sitting down and staring him out of coun-
tenance." "And did it work." ssAdmira-
bly," "That's very strange-very strange,
indeed. How on earth do you account
for it?' GIVE sometimes thought that my
choice Of seat may have had little
something to do with it. I selected the top
of the highest tree on the entire range"