Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1885-05-28
Flying Machines.
BIZ Nye Glmcss Critically at these Mechanical
Birds

D = iVnr anu tAudu>tlNt eAdulluatlOn OF the
history of flying machines enables me to
give briefly some Of the main points ofa few
for hebeneft of those who may be interested
in this science.
/ 4 Frenchman invented flying machine,
or dofunny, as we scientists call it. in 1900
and something, whereby he could sail down
from the woodshed and not break his neck.
I He could not rise from the ground like
I lark and trill a few notes as he skinned
through the sky, but he could fall off an or
dinary haystack like setting hen with the
aid of his wings His name was Besnier
One hundred and twenty-five years after
that a prisoner at Vienna named Jacob Da-
gen told the iailor that he could fly. The
iailer seemed incredulous, and so Jake con-
structed pair of double-barrel umbrellas
that worked by hand and futtered with this
machine into the air fifty feet. He came
down in direct line and in so doing ran
one of the umbrellas through his thorax. |
am glad that it is not the custom now to
wear an umbrella in the thorax.
In England during the present century
several inventors produced flying machines,
but in an evil hour agreed to rise on them
themselves, and so they died from their in
iuries Some came down on top of the ma
chimes, while others preceded their inycn-
tions by few feet, but the result was the
same. The invention of flying machines
has always been handicapped, as II were by
this fact Men invent flying machine and
then try to ride it and show it of, and thus
they are prevented by death from perfecting
their rolling stock and securing their right
of way.
In 1912 Mr. William Henderson got out
a two-propeller" machine, and tried toin-
corporate a company 10 utilize it for the
purpose Of carrying letters, running errands,
driving home the cows, lighting the northern
lights and skimming the cream of the milky
way. but it didn't seem to compete very sue
cessfully with other modes of travel, and so
Mr.. Henderson wrapped it up in an old
tent and put it away in the haymow.
In 1853 Mr.. j. II. johnson patented
balloon and parachute dingus, which worked
on the principle Of ducks foot in the mud
| use scientific terms because am unable
to express myself in the common language
of the vulgar herd This machine had
tail which, under great excitement, 1t would
throw over the dashboard as it bounded
,lro,,c,L tha air
Probably the biggest thing in its way un-
der this head was the revival Of flying un-
der the presidency of the Duke Of Argyle,
the society being called the Great Britain
aronautical society This society made
some valuable calculations, adding much
to our scientific knowledge, and filling Lon
don with cripples
In 1869 Mr.. Joseph r. Kaufman invented
and turned loose upon the people of Glas-
eow an internal machine intended 10 soar
considerably in quiet kind Of way, and
to be propelled by steam. II looked like
the bird known in ornithology as the " fly
upthecrick." and had an air-brake, patent
coupler, buffer and platform. 1t was in
tended to hold two men on ice and rose
wood casket with silver handles. 1t was
mounted on wheels, and as il did not seem
to skim through the air very much, the peo-
pie Of Glasgow hitched clothes-line to 1t
aud used it for a band wagon.
Rufus Porter invented an ;erial dew dad
ten wears ago in Connecticut where so many
crimes have been committed since Mark
Twain moved there. This was called the
d" eroport." and was worked by springs con-
nected with propellers. A saloon was sus-
pended beneath it, presume, on the prin'
ciple that when a man is intoxicated he
weighs a pound less. This machine foated
around the rotunda of the Merchants eI-
change, in New York city, eleven times, like
a hen with her head cut of, but has not been
on the wing much since then.
Otheraying machines have been invented,
but the air is not peopled with them as !
5 write. Most Of them have folded their pin
I ions and sought the seclusion Of the hen
, house. It is 10 be hoped that very soon
/ some such machine will be perfected where
r by man may fit from the fifth story win
l. dow Of the Grand Pacific hotel in Chicago
to Montreal before breakfast, leaving moth
r ine in the room but the furniture and bis
kind regards. Such an invention would be
hailed with much JOY, and the sale would be
: enormous. NOW however, the matteris still
in its infancy The mechanical birds In
vented for the purpose Of skimming through
= the ether blue, have not skum. The ma
-, chimes we're built with high hopes and
throbbing heart, but the aforesaid ether re-
0 mains unskum as We goto press. The milky
= way is in the same condition, awaiting the
Z arrival Of the fearless skinner VIII man
ever be permitted TO pierce the utmost de-
tails Of the sky and ramble around among
Z the stars with q gum oyercoat on some
/ times trow he will and then again ween
not
They are going down to dinner He: