St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-07
SOINTILLATIONS OF WIT.

Foul air-Chanticleer's matin song.
The divorce suit still leaves Sullivan Annie
mated.
The Russian general, Hoopinkof, is great
lover of children.
The difference between Queen Victoria
youngest daughter and William r. Merriam is
obvious. She's Beatrice.
Clergymen seldom indulge in poetry. They
leave that to the lay-men.
The Apache Indians call whisky 'tis-win,'
but the man who drinks it generally finds tits
lose.
Col. Ingersoll asks, ''What is blasphemy?'
The colonel is evidently not accustomed to
intrOspectiOn.
The poet calls woman the s'Sunday of
man." 1t is the height of sarcasm to speak
OF Sunday as day of rest.
A new fish has just been discovered called
the "cherna." 1t was first seen in milk
can.
When the old prophet wrote ''All is vanity,
and striving after wind,'' he must have
been suffering with a solid dose of asthma.
In its herculean task of purifying the ship
OF state, the administration ought to be care
full to clean out every Roach.
Ex-Sergeant Crowley is learning the trade
of a moulder. That is the proper caper for
policeman. He will still cast in the prison.
''The most distressing symptom of delirium
tremens is insomnia, says a medical jour-
nal. This is the natural result OF too many
''eye-Openers."
The latest hobby among the young ladies of
Philadelphia is to learn to play on the fiddle.
1t is their only chance of getting a bow.
MEN who drink whisky cannot succeed in
Wall street," says broker. We have always
been led to believe that water was the favorite
beverage of those who dealt in stocks.
Jones says the new Interpretation of Solo
mons famous saying, ''Spare the rod, spoil
the child,'' reads ''Spare the rod to the child
and you spoil his veracity." But Jones is
fisherman himself, and so we take this state
ment cum granO sails.
The feminine bump Of locality is usually OF
small development. At this time of year,
however, the exactness and certainty with
which the average young maiden can locate
places brought up in the course of CONVEX
sation, as so many doors from Mina's ice
cream parlOr, or just across the way from
PinerO's, Or in the next block to Dufy's, fills
the young man with awe and CONSERVATION.
'sWhat kind of eggs do base ball fouls lay,
George?'' asked Kit who has heard frequent
illusions to the national game by her stalwart
first baseman. ''Duck eggs, usually" replied
George.
HE PLAYS.
ing to musicale at the residence of Mrs. Fet-
tleson, one of our most rigid and devout
Methodists. In the course of the evening the
hostess came up to Fred and said:
''Do you play, Mr.. Bottlewig?"
occasionally replied Fred.
Twill you favor us by taking a part in
quartet?
Certainly" said Fred. ''What is it to be,
euchre or whist?"
MAY RUE IT.
Mrs. Winthrop Glover had just returned
from European trip, and her old friend,
Mrs. Watson, had called upon her.
''And how did you like Paris?' asked
Mrs. w.
''Oh, it was perfectly delightful
''But are not the streets hOrridY'
''Horrid!' echoed Mrs. G.. ''Why the bou-
levards of Paris are the envy Of the world. l
never saw such lovely streets. When did you
get such mistaken idea?"
''Why, Mr.. Watson was talking about it last
night, and he said the Partisan authorities
never laid out street bnt they were sure to
Rue it, So thOught-Great heavens, Ceci-
liza, run for doctor; whatever can have
taken Mrs Glover SO SuddenlyY
ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME.
She came from Athens-the modern, cul-
tured aesthetic Athens. Blue-eyed golden
haired, fair as a goddess dream of beauty,
she had come to pay long-promised visit to
her relatives, who at the first glance fell down
and worshipped her.
'sAnd you have been sick, poor DEAR" said
her aunt lovingly, while the boys gaped in
silent admiration.
eyes, had slight attack of Illness
''What was the trouble?'' asked the old
man.
ssOh nothing very serious. Simply a severe
furunculus attacking the subcutaneous It's
sue adjacent to the cervical vertebrte."
''Great Gosh!'' calculated the old man, 'is
it ketchin'?''
''Oh not in the least contagious, she replied
smilingly.
''Poor child how you must have suffered"
said the aunt.
eyes, it was extremely painful for time,
but there is never any danger attached to
what in common parlance is called boil on
the neck"
ga bile on she neck! Is that what it is?"
said the old man.
s'Th1hk o'that Jim," whispered Tom to his
brother. ''All that for bile on the neck"
land still they gazed and still the wonder
grew,
That one small head could carry all she
knew 'sDOAK.''