Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1885-11-10
THE MODERN DRAMA.
Virtue, the Hero and Heroine, Get
SEhcrc Every Time.

Who has not seen modern sensational
drama? How smoothly each act develops
the moral that virtue must triumph
though the heavens fall As general
rule the average drama nowadays is rs
follows:
In act one we find the hero has on
former days fed the heroine's papa on
homemade custard pies, from the effects
OF which he dies The heroine comes on
the stage and says she is the daughter OF
West Indies slave-owner, who was dis
possessed of his fortune by habeas
corpus, and dies with the words on his
lips, Il have an only daughter. She was
all in this world to me. Some day will
come back again tie thee and prove
thy birthright.' The villain enters,
calls heroine servant girl st. Vitus
dervish, and carries her off to his Castle
Curr.
In act second hero is found in his poor
lodgings, supping off cold potato, pluck
and Indifference is his hard lot. In the
next room is Castle Curr. Villain enters
and drags heroine in by the hair and
delivers her over to his fifth wife. Fifth
wife VOWS she will make mince meat or
sausage OF heroine. A tramp, to whom
the villain said, Ella! Hap one day,
sets fire to the house, and the heroine
frees herself OF her chains and rescues
hero, who has been overcome by his
hunger and the smoke. Villain is absent
during the fire scene. Is probably down
town cutting Threats or telegraphing for
the fire department.
In the third act we find hero and
heroine in the villains garden, vowng
love for evermore. Kisses, shy, coy,
giddy bushes and maidenly goodness OF
heart are clearly exhibited. Tum, tum,
music. Enter a band of French soldiers,
who, while journeying across America
on pleasure trip, discover that hero is a
deserving Italian steward and come to
capture him or die. Rather than be
taken for an Italian steward or n prisoner
hero throws heroine across his shoulders,
| jumps into skiff, rows to deserted
island, jumps on Il trusty horse and
| escapes. French soldiers group them.
selves into picturesque attitudes, draw
their pistols and intently watch the hero
and heroine escape.
The fourth act finds hero and heroine
on desert island. Cannibals, led ants,
| fire-bugs, red demons of the far west and
cyclones are rs thick rs mustard plasters
Ship is built by hero-in less than fifteen
minutes-and hero and heroine, accom-
panied by their trusted servant Golly-
COLBY, set sail for sea. Are finished IN
by villain, who shakes birthright papers
OF heroine in hero's face. Hero smacks
the oyerbearing villain in the mouth.
More tum-tum music.
The fifth and last act opens. Hero has
returned to native home, accompanied by
heroine, her mother-in-law and eighteen
relatives. Hero discovers barrel OF sill
yer dollars in cave. Asks heroine to
marry him. She cries. Hero asks WHY
fore. Heroine says; "You fed my papa
custard pie" Hero says: ~ couldn't
help it. lie would eat it," Bing, bang,
boom; music in fiat. Enter villain ;
says: "lia Ha" Enter constable
accompanied by two supes who arrest
villain for forging two checks, committing
arson and burglary, numbering his first
four wives, holding Republican office
under Democratic administration
neglect OF minor children, disorderly CON
duet and suspicious person.
Ting, ting music. Slow curtain. Villain
in chains and prison. Red lights. Hero
embraces heroine, who says: ~ have
an only daughter She was all this world
to me. Some day will come back again
to thee and prove thy birthnght." Gas
is turned out, audience disperses and
small boy says to his companion: "a
say, Jimmie, did yez see the hero smack
ther viilin in ther neck %