davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wilmingtonian., 1885-12-26
HU NJ 0 A oUs
BUSINESS.

'lIello, Sam," said gentleman to an old
negro riding along on mule, "where did
you get that beasta''
~ buyed him in cou'se, boss; yo didn't
think stoled him, did yo'?"
4 wasn't sure. What did you give for him?'
81 glib my note, sab, for forty dolahs."
'You're nvte, Samp"
SIN cou'se, sah."
'Why you'll never pay it,"
'sCau'se | won't boss. Yo' don't reckon
dat man spects Use gwine to pay for dat
mule an pay fo dat note besides, does yo.
No, sab, hits ez much ez dis nigga kin do
t, pay fo' de mule"
The girl of the period now carries her
hands in her overcoat pocket, just like a
man--partly because IL is English, and partly,
doubtless, because there are holes in her
gloves. es.-LoaoeN Cihsen
There were 81, 900, 600 buttons made in this
country last year. And when man is wait
ing for his wife, preparatory to her going
out with him, he imagines she's secured at
| least 90, 900, 900 of them on her gloves.
q He's not what you call strictly handsome,
said the major, heaming through his glasses
on homely baby that lay bowling in his
mothers arms, ''bnt it's the kind of face
that grows on you" ''It's not the kind of
face that ever grew on you," was the indig-
nant and unexpected reply OF the maternal
being; 'yo'd be better looking if it bad p
80 - DON'T WANT 1T. II s9
81 would like ter go to church," said 8
colored woman to the lady for whom she
was working, .'but hasn't got a dress tit
ten to wa'ar."
81 will give you one of mine, " replied tn
generous lady.
"What is it made outen?"
/ "Calico."
''Lor, Miss. doesn't want it. Ell ar
anything less silk won't be reckemized
Better gin dat drees ter some po'. whit
'omau what hain't got no position in 'ciet
to hold up"
The Wilmingtonian., 1885-12-26
Yes. Was there last night. 2

"Well, no, not great deal" was the
hesitating reply ''that is, not as much as
he might have done. He only kicked me
from the parlor to the front door, and went
the balance of the way by myself"
The Wilmingtonian., 1885-12-26
loc., csc, SOC. and $l.oo.
HOME TESTIMONIALS:

of which had yearodh
d RA small bottle Of Brazilian Balm
Ofm Brazilian Balm
Of vuccGe8 " s. lfAdt.ltS is
best ueudgc Edufd tongue
II could hear
relief began taking ozi Balm in 1888
moth snErs Wag ot 5i3 W. tGh S
Hee brazilian Balm will do all that you claim for "y & fTl | had & cat
Dr. NJ said he cured me in
girl H. saF hagMer
P, w. RIlo children in days with scarlet fever the fourth child
Brazilian Balm mred
ately--Burton B. Deputy Wfora DEL
Sold by Druggists aud Dele,s. receipt price, by
. B. F. JACKSON & co, Prop'rp Wilmington, Del,
The Wilmingtonian., 1885-12-26

'Lor, Miss doesn't want it. Eflwa' ars
anything less silk won't be reckemized.
Better gin dat drees ter some po'. white
'omau what hain't got no position in 'cety
| to hold up"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
How Whales are Killed.
Boston Hera Id.

The present system is an improve
ment on the cid style of killing with
harpoon and lances. It is more cer>
tain and less dangerous. The steam
er runs up close. and with a heavy
gun bomb eight inches long by one
and One>half inches III diameter,
charged with dynamite, is fred into
the whale near the dorsal fin. The
bomb has 3 time fuse, and explodes,
producing almost instant death. It
is related as curious fact that after
the whale has plunged downward, far
intO the green water the dull, muhed
explosion may be heard in calm
weather. II the passages through
which the air is e&halea are destroyed
the fish, it is claimed by its hunters,
will rise Immediately to the surface;
if not, and the air is exhaled, he
sinks to the bottom and remains there
as does a human body, until the for
nation Of the gases brings him to the
surface. In warm weather he isex-
pected to rise in four days, in the cold
water Of winter it may be ten days or
more before he comes TO the surface.
Meantime the steamer does not wait
for him. She is off in pursuit of fresh
game, and ainas to return about the
time he is due above water When
recovered marks on the bomb suffice
for Identification If there are oppos~
ing claims 10 ownership. It is an UNI
written law that any c0asting vessel
finding a dead whale adrift (and they
often drift many miles from where
ch ~ IL
notify the first whaling steamer that
is met, Or the nearest whaling station.
FIR this service 1t is usual to pay $25
so that the small coasters plying Up
and down the New England coast
have an incentive to keep a sharp
lookout. On notice, the steamer
promptly heads for the whale and
lows him to the oil>works, often
long and hard pull in rough water
with a great seventy foot hulk drag
cling like so much dead weight astern.
But many whale supposed to have re-
ceived his quietus at the hands of
these dynamiters of the seas is never
heard from again. He may be driven
by gales far to sea, out Of the track of
coasting vessels. Or the boab may
not have touched vital part, and be-
yond the sensation of having a pretty
sharp twinge in some part of his sys-
tenn, the whale is none the worse
for it. Usually oAe or two bombs are
fatal. But one tough old whale took
an allopathic dose OF eight this season
with no more effect upon him than so
many bread pills. This is expensive
for the dynamiters when bonbs are
costing 3 dollars each. .8zAs}
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03

ing his feet. eff I was president of
the company I'd discharge him"
The conductor made no reply, and
the little man looked about for seat.
A thin man In the corner squeezed
himself into as small 3 compass as
possible, and fat man sitting next
moved several inches toward the for
ward part of the car The little man
dropped into the vacant space, and the
conductor asked for his fare. He pro-
duced nickel and big copper penny.
1.-THE fare on all these street rail-
roads ought to be five cents" he nuts
tered.
Its six though, retorted the con-
ductor.
81 know it," cried the little man,
dropping the penny and the nickel
into the conductors outstrctched hand,
''bub it's an Internal imposition, and
the public is fool to submit to the
extOrtion."
The rain continued to pour down,
and big man carrying a long box
tramped on the feet of all the passen~
gers and deluged the little man with
water from his umbrella.
"Freight belongs on the front plat
FORM" he said, glazing at the big
man, who moved up toward the front
OF the car.
At Market street woman with two
bundles, baby, and an umbrella
boarded the car. She was poorly
dressed and homely featured. A
police officer stood on the rear plat
form next to the step. but he did not
offer to take the woman's umbrella
nor her bundles and the baby began
to cry as about q bucket Of water
poured from the Car roof, drenching
It and the mother to the skin.
IF was mayor of this city, y
whispered the little man to the thin
party, just as the latter was leaving
the car, "I'd disharge that officer.
Policemen should be polite, especially
to ladies'"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
The Profession.
Detroit Fress Press.

In driving out into the country a
Detroit lawyer encountered a horse
and buggy driven by woman As
she was driving on the wrong side of
the road he made up his mind not to
give up his rights. As consequence
the two horses finally came to stand
still, with their noses rubbing each
other. The lawyer stared at the WON
an, and the woman stared back. Then
he pulled a newspaper from his peck :
ct and began reading. In a minute
she had her knitting out, and was in
dustriously at work Ten long Minis
utes ia broiling sun passed away,
and the lawyer looked up and asked:
"How long are you going to stay
here?"
How long are you2"
Cali day"
land I'll stay here a whole week. },
He read and she knit for another
ten minutes, and then the lawyer
called out:
''Do you know that I'm q Ia wyer!"
81 don't care for that" she replied !:
Pm tie wife of a Justice of the
Peace"
"Oh-ah-excuset me, madam. Real
", but if I'd know you belonged to
the purfesh this would not have hap
penea. Take this side, madam-take
the whole roadl"
"Oh, no, no, no? I'm sorry 7 de-
tanned you. Here-drive on, and ex-
cuse me if have been guilty of UNI
professional conduct"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
UPSALA UNIVERSITY.
Peculiar Customs of the Students of
Sweden.

Whoever goes to Stockholm paws
visit to Upsala, where is situated the
principal university IN Sweden. But
everyone is not SO fortunate as to have
q friend there invested with all the
dignity Of recently obtained doctors
degree to do the honors Of the town.
There are about fifteen hundred stu
dents in the Upsala university. They
divide themselves into bodies called
nations" each nation including all
the young men from the same district
of Sweden. Each one of these socie>
ties OF unions owns a seperate Building
in which its members may meet and
pass their leisure hours. Each has a
Ibrary, saloon, etc. The second
semestre of the year closed in May.
We therefore feared that we should
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
Much Croaking About Marriage.
Philadelphia Times.


The average society journal devotes
about one column per week to the dis
cussion Of the so called marriage prob
lem. In this the tendency toward
celibacv is again and again repeated
and every remedy which can possibly
be thought of is vented at some time
and place. In nine cases out Of ten,
while some responsibility is attributed
to men the blame for the falling off IN
marriages is placed upon women.
Thye are accused of being vain, ex~
travagant, incompetent, and frivolous,
and utterly without qualification for
any sterner work than flirting or i'd
ling away whole days over sensational
novels. The merits Of the young man
who minds his own business and
DOESN'T get married are lauded to the
skies, those Of q girl who does exactly
the same thing are never mentioned.
OF course, the young men are not
to blame for the falling off In the num-
Der of marriages. Who ever heard of
a young man who was lacking In any
single or double respect2 As rule,
they never smoke, drink, or idle their
time away, but are busy :ay after day
GCFCIOpl0S tLC1I HICntdI Y udIIGlS5 U,R
industrious study, and saving their
hard~earned wages for the purpose of
getting married st later day. Girls
frequent beer saloons, play pool, and
organize expensive clubs, but the
young man has no time for such frivo-
Ious entertainment. If he did he
would fall quite to he level of his SIS
ter, and such a fate must be escaped at
all hazards.
The marriage problem will doubtless
solve itself in little time, as most
evils work out their own solution. At
any rate, there is no reason to fear the
depopulation of the country from the
falling off in the number now. Near
~ every Institution tLat the world has
ever sanctioned at some time or anoth-
er has passed through some spescies
OF trial. The desire for congenial
feminine society is natural to every
man, and will continue to be gratifed
IN spite OF. high rents and extravagant
markets. And while it is being graft
fed, just little less of the one sided
argument againsts women would be
acceptable.
On the whole, women are as sensible
as men, often more so.-and
given fair opportunity with nus
band worthy of the name, they are
usually able to do their part toward
keeping the wolf from the door and
making home pleasant for those who
share in its happiness.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
StTeet-Car Manners.
Philadelphia Times.

The rain was pouring down in tor,
rents yesterday and one of the Citizen
Line cars was coming down Tenth
streets at full speed & little man,
with a straggly gray beard, who was
dressed in blue and carried two cigar
boxes strapped together under his arm,
hailed the car al the corner of Fair
mount avenue. The driver, who had
forgotten to bring out his oil-skin
coat and was wet to the skin land
correspondingly out of temper, was
slow In checking his horses, and the
little man In blue was obliged TO wade
through small river to reach the rear
platform.
"Why didn't that driver stop
on the crossing2" he growled, shak-
ing the water from his hat and stamp
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03

brake magazine.
It was long after midnight, and the
minutes were clicking by like hours
81 love a gracious elm tree" she re-
marked.
"How I wish I were an elm tree, !"
he responded.
II wish you were, too"
''Why do you?" he inquired, with a
world of devotion in his voice.
Because" she replied, ''trees leave
once q wear.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
The Beauty Of the Telephone.
New York Times,

Brown (who has just had tele-
phone connection established between
his Office and house and is very much
pleased with i'll tell you, Smith,
this telephone business Is a wonder
ful thing. ! want you to dine with
ne this evening, and I will notify
Mrs. Brown to expect yon. (SpeaI
ing through the telephone) : Ny
friend SMITH will dine with US this
evening. Now listen and hear how
distinctly her reply viii come back.
Mrs. Browns reply Coming back
with startling distinctness)-Ask your
friend Saith if ne thinks we keep a
hotel.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03

''What is the origin of the sign s.
for the American dollar?" was the
question propounded at London din
ner not long ago The American cons
sui did not know; neither did anyone
else. An extensive research resulted
in this theory: The American dollar
is taken from the Spanish dollar, and
the sign is to be found, of course, in
the associations of the Spanish dollar.
On the reverse side of q Spanish dol
lar is presentation of the pillars of
Hercules, and round each pillar is 8
scroll with the inscription, PLUS
ultra" This device, in the course Of
time, has designated into the sign
which stands at present for American
as well as Spanish dollars-S The
scroll round the pillars represent the
two serpents sent by Juno TO destroy
Hercules in his cradle.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
He Recognized His Boss.
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.


They had come in from way back in
a wagon, He was tall and agricultu-
raj and she was short and rural. He
had been buying some clover at retail,
and at the depot made some remarks
while his meek wife prevented the
children from getting mixed up with
the emigrants.
81 amt Altered of the biggest man
that walks" he remarked.
This sentence seemed to please him,
and he repeated it.
At last the wife arose, and said !:
"Pete!'
"Eh?"
''You know me9"
''You bet"
"Squat and shut up"
And he did.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
Nothing to Offer.
Exchange.

Have you," asked the Judge, of a
recently convlted man, anything to
offer the court before sentence Is
passe d."
mo, your honor" replied the pris-
oner," my lawyer took nay last cent. !"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03

Men fools VINO marry women fools
q score or two Of years older than they
are do not receive much consider alton
IN Erie. One of them, whose bride is
AZ years older than he is, was visited
oy the boys Immediately after the
wedding and requested TO provide the
crowd with beer if he did not want to
be ridden on a rail. He procured the
beer and the delighted crowd after
drinking it rode him on q rail any
how. An Erie crowd full of Erie beer
evidently does not think a man who
will marry woman II years older
than he is has sense enough to protest
against proceeding that impairs the
obligation of a contract.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-09-03
All the IngredinCs.

Exchange.
what smell Is that, my dear?"
"Cloves, my love"
But the other odor?"
Cinnamon, darling"
''But I smell something else"
"Oh, that's allspice.n
But I'm certain 1 smell something
that isn't spiced at all"
That's an apple I ate just before 1
came in"
WELL said Mrs B., IF you'd only
swallowed ham-sandwich ard q
drink of brandy you'd have all the in
gredients for a good nince pie
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-02-15
The metal Market.

From the New York Engineering and
Mining Journal of the 18th:
LEAD-We hear of rather more bust
ness doing in this metal. Sales aggre-
eating about 1000 tons at S-7oc., which
may be taken as the present quotation
and $3.50. bid for common or corroding.
We shall next week publish full statistics
of our lead production for 1884. The
figures will show that it was less than in
1888 by several thousand tons. The
probabilities for the present year are
that the output will not exceed that of
1884. If it should fall much below that,
or if better demand should spring up
from a general revival of business, lead
would probably soon rise to DC. or 41zc.
Unfortunately, either of these contin-
gencies is too far in the dim distance to
be clearly discerned.
CoPPER. This metal shows greater
degree of firmness than last week, and
prices are little better. z
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-02-15
New York Stock Market.

NEW YORK, February Avail street.
Slow but comparatively steady; the re-
action which has been the feature in the
market the past thirty-slx hours still
continues. Prices at the opening were
Is to Il lower except Pacific Mail which
showed loss of "a. After selling shade
lower there was reaction of Il q a in
the first half hour; since then decline
again of Is to u below opening figures
The price at IL O'Clock being near the
lowest of the morning; market dull
large street business in Lackawanna and
Western Union.
NEW YORK, February 14.-Wall street
Stocks continued weak, led by Western
Union, until after o'clock, when prices
rallied fraction. Market closed strong
fraction above lowest price.
New YORK, February 14.-Stocks
quiet; prices at noon generally frac-
ton lower than at the opening, with
Western Union exceptionally weak
selling down to 5SL, now 58sA fiuctua.
tions during the forenoon within com
paratively narrow limits.
New YORK, February 14.-Govern
ments dull; firm. Railways dull;
irregular. Stocks again weak and
lower, the decline being led by Western
Union. Some prominent operators on
the 'bull" side throughout the recent
advance were to-day large sellers, Of
Western Union and Union Pacific
especially the former. In the last hour
the market rallied fraction and closed
generally strong. All the active stocks
were u TO ~ lower, however, than las
night
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-02-15
The Park.

Mr.. Chambers returned to the city OH
Friday, after a weeks stay in Park
City. He states that the snowfall out
there has not been SO great as in Salt
Lake-a very curious fact, when it is re
menIbered that the Park is only eight
or ten miles from the scene of the
terrible disaster OF Friday night. The
hauling Of ore by teams, Mr.. Chambers
says, has not been interrupted. and
wagons continue to go up and down
the canyon. All the mines are working
and looking well.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-02-15
Wood River.

The affairs of the Union, the Minnie
Moon, and the Queen, are thus spoken
of by the Inter-IddIio, Hnder the head
ing of "Bosh:"
1t is amusing to see how some news
papers and some people do struggle to
make a mountain out of a mole-hill.
Only q week or two ago the Minnie
Moore owners told their miners that on
and after such day only such and
such wages could be paid, and on
and after such and such a
date those miners walked out. The
owners of the mine have not been able
up to this date to find men willing to
work for less than the old hands were
getting. So a few people mot miners)
and some newspapers, are endeavoring
to make it appear as though war was
eminent between the sheriff's posse and
the law-abiding citizens of Wood River
Colonel Wall says that when his Bullion
mines will not produce so that he can
pay good miners 81 per day, he
will shut 'em down. That's what the
Minnie men are doing and the Queen of
the Hills. and so on. Still, we see by
the last Queen report that the owners
of that prospect had $l3 600 to divide up
last quarter A reporter of the inter
Idaho barked his shins getting to Broad
ford and Bellevue the other day, hear
that the miners had kicked willing nom
union contractors across Wood River
from the Queen. 1t was all lie We've
yet to find the first man who wished to
go to work when by so doing they
barred out miners union men. And
we've yet the first one to see who was
intimidated by threats of union men.
The buster is all bosh and an expense
to The county.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-02-15
Northern chief.

MIR. F. H. Hyde confirms the report
that operations will be recommended
both at the mine and mill in the spring,
and that E. L. NJ. Morton will be re-
placed by another manager. Reports
from Bingham vary as to the indica-
tons in this mine; on one hand it is
said-and this report seems TO have
the better foundation-tha the outlook
in no way justifies the expense of erect
ing mill, and that it would be impos-
sible to turn out sufficient ore from the
mine, no matter how well twas worked,
to keep the mill running. Others say
that the prospects for a great property
are unexcelled, and speak in roseate
terms generally.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-02-15
Crescent.

The stock is-stifr at 81 at last; 80 cents
MAS offered for, 900 shares yesterday but
was declined 81 being asked. Mr.. R. c..
Vhsmhers Informed reporter last even
ing that there was little doubt of rich
vre having been found in the lower
V norA!!ngss al quality considerably
opener p ia any yet found in the mine.
ms US VIII be cheering news to the stock
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-02-15
Alice.

Some idea of the mammoth proper
tons of the workings of this company
may be gained from the following fig
ures, taken from the recent annual re-
port. The total bullion yield for 1884
in round numbers, was 81 200, 900; re-
ceipts from other sources were $50, 600
One of these sources was an item OF
81, 892.62 eceived from interest on credit
balances in bank. The company paid
during the year s1S4,0O0 discount on
silver, $3.50 in express charges, 800, 00C
for repairing machinery, $4,000 in
three dividends, $8.400 for interest on
bills payable. the total of all the dis
bursements being 81 ,215, 900.
Alice was last quoted in New York at
$1.95.