The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-10-05

CoNFRDERiT X ROADS,
| witch is in the State nv Kentucky
September II, 1885.
The President has returned from tn,
Adirondax, but my comishen hedeao
come. Day after day l walked past tn
Post-offis, and saw thro the winder tina
internal niger Lubbock, Gttin calmly a
his table, doorin biznis hours, and thel
closin the concern and walkin home to hi
house in the edge Nv the village, and goir
thereafter with his wife to the praye
meetin Nv his church, or 10 a donasher
party, orsuthin NV the sort, never stobpir
in Bascom'e to set EN- up for the Thirsty
soles which is alluz there waitin for them
which hev money.
Bascom gnAshed his teeth every time
he cav him. "The salary that that iufe.
rior bein dron from Dimocratic COVER
ment l am deirauded out NV daily. Il
blongs TO me, and shood hev 1t he'd we q
President that he'd the slitest lice NV wal
Is doc to them which electid him."
The feelin grew more and more intense,
ontil 1t wuz desided that 1t Good not 90 on
this way any longer. We met and re.
solved. We felt that we Good not waite
on the slow movemence nv President
which duz not seem to appreshate the
guidin star Nv Dimocrisy, "fo the victers
blong the spoils," and we determined to
take the law into our own hand. We
elected Grover Cleveland and we are en-.
titled to the substanshel froots Nv the
CRATE victry.
Gentlemen, sed !, "this a grave and
momenshus moment. There 10 SIGH q
thing ez pitchin' that niger out in the
street and inoggeratin me by force, or We
may wait the allow movemence OF q traitor
TO Dimocrisy, and coninner goin dry.
Wich shell It be ?"
1t truz momenshus moment. Bascom
turned pale.
"The niger Lubbock is a part Nv the
Government; to pitch him out onto his
nose Is to pitch the Government out onto
its nose. weaken"
"And let Lubbock 90 on, and me spit
tin cotton? So be /"
Their WIZ moment Nv deep silence,
butt decishun wesarrived at. They looked
the matter into the face and determined
10 take the consekeDces.
The Deekin, Is!aker Gavitt, Kunnel
M'Pelter, Bascom and myself went calmly
and determinedly over to the Postoilice,
and walked into the astonished Postmas-
ters room.
u am cum" I sed. ito take poaseshn of
this otfis!"
"Hev you a commishn?" asked the
feend, GRIMM a satdonik grin.
h.Nt SaIt ~ T n,ntn "a
waite for VIM. Wet you want to do is to
git out. The people don't want you here,
and our motto is, 'Vor populi, TOR DEL
Git!n
Lubbock refoozed to git, whereupon we
four took him up bodily, and pitched him
out on his nose on the sidewalk.
Then ! sot down in his place and
assoomed the dooties Nv the offs. l am
Postmaster de faci0, and we shel see
whether a DimoCratic President will re-
verse the richus decizhun Nv the people.
There wuz q male on the table to be
sent out and ! eggsamined 1t. Their wuz
only three letters aud two Nv 'em was adj
drest to the Loozeaner Lottery at Moo Or
leens. am opposed to Lottries and feel
it my dooty 10 rescoo the unfochinit vic.
Tins Nv the Lottry habit Of the conse-
kences Nv Their f)lly. sed to myself,
that money shel not go to the managers
in Moo 0rleens to swell ther Golfers" and
conlsticated the letters on the spit ez
contraband.
They contained eech Eve dollar bill. 1
put ona nv the sed bills in my vest pockit,
and handed the other to Bascom, sayin to
him to Civ me credit for it on account.
Their never wuS q more surpriseder man
on earth. 1t wuz the fust money he he'd
he'd Of me sence Grant bisted me out Nv
the offs in 1868, and 1t Affected him WIS.,
IDLY. He sank back in chare, overcome
with emoshun, and wept teers Nv graft
TODD.
my deer sir" sel I, graspin him by
is the first drops Nv the Pactolian shower
witch Is to come. Their is my gallery and
there is letters contanin remittances
to the Loozsaner Lottry. A.better day
htz dawned onto The Corners"
Bacon rung my hand and staggered
out speechlis, forgettin in his emoshun to
take up the S. note, wich l immejitly put
| in my vest pocket with its blessid sister.
am now entirely happy. lam in my
old place and everything is cerene. Bas-
CONS is right across the road and it Is but
step over there. To save time hev a
iemijohn Nv his newest on my table, AMI
box Nv two.tor.fve cigars with matches
handy. From my window on my rite
hand l can see the smoke Hsseudin forever
from M'Pelter's dislillery, sweet ashoor-
ence that the stock Nv likker will never
run out. BstWixt me and the distlllery Is
the tree onto which we yoost to hang mig.
gers and the carpit baggers Nv the North
wich cum to the Corners with Their dis
turbin noshuns, and just by It, little to
the rite, is the identikle epot where Is,aker
Gayitt shot Northern man thro the kid
news fur psrsistin in hurrayin fur Grant.
Their wuz niger skool house jist to the
left, wich we burned in '65, and am now
Tearin the coat NV the hed.tescher, wich
we hung. To sit and dror the salary Nv
Postmaster with all these historic places,
with the other convenience, within site,
is too soothin fur anything. The Yoon-
yum Ia saved at last, and the government
Is trooly in the hands Nv it3 friends.
Ali peecs with me. After battenin
on the barren rox Nv poIitikel defect all
be w1nst more feedin the tall grass by
the ruunin waters Nv offishul patronage.
rest sekoor. Uvcourse Cleveland will
be glad to be relieved Nv the responsible.
ty nv maxim the removal, and will 10
wunst send me my commishun.
We shell move on the other two oftises
next week, in the same way. The au-
thorities at Washington are too slow for
this progressive age. We Nv the Corners
want what we fit iur.
PETRoLBUM V. Nasty, P. NJ.
lat last and triumiant)