The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1885-06-18
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Figures often lie-in hammocks.
A one-legged man will never be
troubled with wet feet. - Brooklyn
Times.
"Ab, that may be said to help the
caws." said a crow as he looked upon
the corn field.-Boston Times.
Fellows who paint the town red over
night are liable to feel blue in the police
court in the morning. Sytings.
Don't you love the little birdies2"
entreats the poctcss. Yes, indeed we do,
but we want tho toast we'll browned.-
Boston Post.
No matter how you may tread on it,
and hammer it down, the carpet is al
ways prepared for attack again.-St.
Paul HeruLd.
Julia Pease, Vassar graduate, culti-
Yates G, 900 acres of land in Texas. This
is the biggest patch of Pcase on record
LoweI Courier.
The inventor of flying machine, if
he doesn't soar very high, has the salts
faction of being sore when he drops
st. Paul Herald.
ga man and his wife may differ" says
I'LL CSouy IoeS "ACh S5iCoo my
may, they may; and, what's more, they
generally do Chicago Ledger.
''There is a balm for those that weep,
A rest for the weary pilgrims found"
And yet the giddy ice cream joke
Continually passes round.
The Hatchet.
If there is any one thing which the
average American can do satisfactorily
it is to tell parent how he would gov
ern the others child. .-Boston Post.
The lad who plays truant to go fishing,
very rarely catches any of the tnny tribe
on the excursion, but he is pretty sure to
catch whales when he gets homc.-Syt-
angs.
Thomas Stevens, who is going through
Asia on bicycle, will doubtless be q
man of whirled wide fame by the time
his journey is completed. = Boston
Courier.
"Dear me-" said lady in Fifth ave.
nue. the other evening. GLOW the china
craze is growing! Here's a New York
club that is paying $3, 900 for pitcher
-ADany Times. f,
The bean has found new enemy in
the bean weevil Hitherto the worst
enemy of the beans has been the cook
who has mashed them into paste like
potatoes. Graphic
doctor" said a despairing patient to
his physician, 81 am in a dreadful con-
dition! can neither lay nor set. What
shall 1 do2" 81 think you had betteS
roost," was the reply.
Some of the Vassar college girls have
been photographing the moon. The in
vestigation was doubtless started to dis
prove forever that there is man in tha
satellite. Citizen.
A little girl wanted more buttered
toast but was told that she had enough,
and that more would make her ill.
"Well," said she, "give me anuzzex
piece and send for the doctor"
Detroit has policeman who is grad
uate of the University of Michigan. He'
was advised by his physician to select q
profession that would not keep him
awake nights. .-Burlington Free Press.
Miss F1sher-"I really don't think I
shall take part again in theatricals. L
ALWAYS feel as though were making q
fool of myself" Pilkins (who always
says the wrong thing)-"O everybody
thinks that. Life.
The composer of "Put Me in My Lit
tie Bed" announces that he got ten dol
lars for writing that interesting lyric, and
hints that it was not enough. 1t was
not: he ought to have got ten years.
Philadelphia Record
Now nature wears a joyous smile,
The girls are wearing feathers,
And the dude is out in his new white tile,
And pair of patent feathers;
Once more the days are warm and Drlgnts
The birds are gayly singing,
And the ice cream peddler's bell at nlgnC
In the thoroughfares is ringing:
Boston Courier.
Doesn't that man remind you OF the
sea?" said pretty girl to her companionj
az a yery fashionable masher went by.
81 don't know. How do you mean2"
"Oh, because he is such heavy swell. :"
eyes, DEAR" was the quiet response1
"but you know the sea swell is SALT"
"Chawley, DEAR" said lovely maid,
As they sat in the house one night,
It's unhealthy to kiss. the doctors say,
So of course it cannot be right.
Not right"
well, darling" spoke the noble youth,
As his color mantled high,
Il never thought being kissed to death,
Such horrible death to die.
of,o frvD