The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-06-13
AMERICAN HUMO7.
STATISTICS showing the Decline of this
REGULAR Native Production.

appear uhat American humor was in as
hourishing condition as ever; that, not
wlthstanding the heavy drafts which it
has sustained during the last decade,
the supply was still abundant, not TO
say lneXhaustible.
But such, alas! is not the fact, as can
be conclusively shown by the presenta
ton OF statistics carefully prepared, at
considerable expense, and which will be
given in detail farther on.
Inc most serious evidence of the de-
cine IN our National humor is shown
in the psucity of fresh subjects; there
having been in the first four months of
1900 but eleven new subjects used in the
construction OF newspapOrial wit,
against forty-seyen in the corresponding
four months of last year; and while
several topics which were once under
constant treatment have sunk into
desuetude and are now no more heard
than if they had never been, it is also
true that scores of other favorite marks
for the shafts of the funny men have
shown a gradual falling off in para
graphic favor.
The stove-pipe joke is a notable in
stance of the former class Just alluded
to, the class which has utterly disap-
peared. This nirth-excitant, which in
the year 1875 reached the marvellous
proportions of 2,764 paragraphs per.
month, or 33, 1863 during the entire year,
had fallen off in 1884 to 95 per month.
or $3.50 during the first four months of
the year, while for the corresponding
period Of 1885 but II cases have been
recorded, an average of only At per
month.
A similar, though not so excessive,
falling offs shown by many other old
stand-bys; notably, the mother-in-law,
the cake OF soap on the stairs, the oldest
Mason, and so forth. But we have the
figures handy. Letus consult them.
During thefirst third of 1884 the moth
er-in-law formed the subject of 1887
paragraphs or articles, whereas the cor
responding term of the present year can
boast of but 215, and PA of these are
essentially repetitions. Goat and the
circus poster, 1884, 1864; 1885, "a. Old
est Mason, 1884, 81; 1885, 50. And
here are several more, the first figure
indicating the number OF times a Joke
was utilized from Januaryto April, both
inclusive, in 1884, and the second figure
referring to the number of appearances
during the first four months of the pres
ent year:
Messenger boy, 4,231, 4, 2O9; oyster,
IVA, 797; dude, 5,649 "a; hair in the
butter, 1,423, (Which, by the way, is six
times too many; big hat at the theatre,
1862, As; game of poker, 1872, 135;
whisky drinking, 1881, $3.50; boarding
house hash, 3,112, 124; strong butter,
2,076, Ill (oleomargarine not included);
Chicago girls over-nutrition OF pedal
extremities, 3, 125, zoos; cake of soap on
stairs, 1888, 21; coal-hole cover, 976, 43;
banana skin, S16, 81; editor and poet,
3,265, 2,003; green apples, 4, mot in
season.; iceman, 1881, 2,605; plumber,
9,S7l, 6,432; picnic, 401, 80 crush usually
comes later; Niagara hackman, 776,
GA; bent pin, 1871. 2,434; umbrella,
7,S41, 2,432; watermelon (out of sea-
SOM, 14S, 125.
In almost every instance it will be
seen that there has been great disparity
in the present years figures as com
pared with those of the year preceding.
The messenger boy, it is true, has very
nearly held his own. and no excessively
marked falling off is noticed in whisky
drinking or the Chicago girls feet. The
wonderful divergence which is shown
in the figures relating to the dude is to
be explained by the fact that he was a
novelty in the photographic field last
year; but, thank heaven, he is a short
lived creature, as our statistics show.
and haply after another year he shall
be heard of no more forever.
Jokes on love-making, matrimony,
millinery, twins, divorce and kindred
accidents, inseparable from ones
earthly pilgrimage, hold their time
honored places. They always have
been and always will be, world without
end; therefore it has not been thought
worth while to collect data regarding
them And for other but equally cogent
reasons, no notice has been taken of
alleged witticisms on deaths by drown
inc or other adventitiouS means.
Neither has any account been made of
poronomasia. Punning is not joking,
and new pun is well-nigh an i'm
possibility.
FROM our SJtIkSJlCS, UuCH, IL Will Dt
seen that there has been a marked de-
cline in almost every department of
American humor; and we have by no
means exhausted the evidence which we
have at hand. We have only given a
few samples of very large invoice,
which we might draw upon almost
without limit.
But in this general decline it is pleas
ant to know that there is one subject at
least which has come forward to par
TALLY make up for what has been lost.
Need we say we refer to the roller
skate? During the first four months of
1884 the roller skate was the foundation
of but three paragraphs; during the cor
responding period of 1885 it has fur
nished the rGiSOn d etre of 1864 witt
cisms of different lengths and of various
quality. Therefore, providing there
shall be no increase in the monthly re-
turns (and the probabilities all point in
an opposite direction) there will be.
during the entire year, PA, 368 mirthful
illusions to the skating rink set before
the readers of American newspapers.
Finally, then, while deploring the de-
cline of American humor in general,
LEI lis thank Heaven and take courage,
in view of the marvellous possibilities
presented by the roller skates, and let
us all pray that this last bulwark of our