The Press., 1885-04-16
Correspondence of the Iribune,] QUALIFICATIONS FOR A MISSION.

There is quite large class of Ameri- cans who for years past have lived abroad but who upon the advent of the new ad- ministration have hurried over in order to offer their services to the government. They all want missions. met one of this class, who had been permitted to cool his heels in the ante-room of the white house the other day. He could scarcely conceal his indignation as he blurted out: ssHere have come over from Europe especially for the purpose of helping the govern ment, and-would you believe it?-no more attention is paid me than if I had always lived in Washington and just step- ped across the street to ask for an office. This poor fellow ought to have taken lesson from the Kentuckian who to-day forwarded the following application to the president. Its strange mixture of humor and business-like determination make it, l think, unique
 OFFICE OF THE OLDHAM COUNTY ERA. THE ONLY sEcoND-cLAss PAPER IN THE UNITED
 STATES.
 Lagrange, Ky, April 4, 1885. The Hon. Grover S. Cleveland, President. ! DEAR SIR: I herewith apply for the ap- pointment of Consul to Tahiti, Society Is- lands. In making my application prefer to forego the usual method of seeking an in- dorsement to my petition from Tom, Dick and Harry; they come cheap and are in my judgment, worthless. do not even ask our august senators nor our less sedate members of the house to say a word in my behalf. I could, I suppose, receive the signature of every official in the state, from governor down to our county jailor, to my petition, but, as before stated, such things are cheap. base my claims to your favorable consideration of my application to this consulateship on the following grounds:
 am forty years of age; entered the Fed eral army at the age of sixteen and was in trusted by my superior officers with office from the date of my enlistment, August 13, 1861, until the great leaders arranged the terms of equalization at Appomattox at which time, before I had attained my majority, was company commander. After the war fitted myself for life by learning thoroughly two trades, that of a carpenter and that of { printer. I labored at the former until 1876 when the bad health of my wife compelled mt to take up the latter, which did by estab fishing here and maintaining the only second class newspaper in the United States, a strict ly democratic sheet and fine advertising medi um. I beg to state for your information tha l am the happy father of six healthy, brigh children, without blotch or blemish, and an pleasantly situated and am making more mon ey, perhaps. than the consulate would pa, me but have an ambition, all thoroughbred Kentuckians do, to serve my country in office My ambition in that direction has not bee1 satisfied with six years service as city clerk , I confess that was not an ardent supporte of yours at Chicago, but now see my mis take and recognize in you all the clements o 8 wise, discreet Chief Magistrate.
 The fact of my being a carpenter and print CT, and likewise the father of a large family o children, may not in your opinion fit me fo a consulate to these South Pacific Islands, bu I beg to inform you, my dear sir, that a times when needed recreation from the du ties of editor, compositor, pressman, reporte } and mailing clerk in my office, have takel care to inform myself of the relations existin between this great republic and the islands o the tropical Pacific, and have come to tn
 conclusion that I can, by an honest endeavol
 turn the mind of the reformed cannibals sti] ! further from baked Brazilian, fried French ) man, souped Scotchman, scolloped German ) broiled American and stewed Britisher, to ou ) own delicious and more nutritious hog an
 the cereals from which our country suffers b
 over- production. I am of opinion the dig nifty of my country and respect for the sta1 : spangled banner would not suffer if intruste to my care in these beautiful, far-away islands ! I respectfully ask your favorable consider, tion of this, my first, and it may be my las ] application for executive favor.
 l Respectfully yours, w. w. RowLErT.