The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-09-03
THE MERRY SIDE!

| lltu Null1ll O1Du
sullivan's prize-fghting accomplishes one
good thing. 1t keeps the champion sober while
he is training.
The bellies at Saratoga now Grub cheeks in
stead of kissing. But in many cases this is only
| a furnishing of brass.
The effect of Grants life will prove glorious
one, but will cause trouble to the reminiscence-
liars in the next world.
80
The portraits of Hoadly published in the
Democratic papers make him out rather Sob
er-looking colored man.
The Chicago Current, literary journal, has
been suspended. Which means, perphaps, that
| its flow has been damned.
| The Columbus Dispatch says a girl feels
| "down in the mouth when she kisses dude"
We thought she felt ashamed.
Customs are changing. American hotels are
disearding bills of fare printed in French, and
putting something to eat on the table.
| Joseph E. Bowen, of Philadelphia, "the old
est Mason,' died last week. The Oldest Mason
continues to die with startling regularity.
Three white women in Cincinnati claim a
colored man named John johnson as husband.
John must be a sweet blackberry.
| Since Kirker got into the Ironton Jail, it has
| been suddenly discovered that the building is
| unhealthy, and unfit for men to be in.
| George Goforth and Sidney Ellis got into a
| row at Frankfort, KY. Sid. drew knife and
compelled George to Go-forth with split ear.
| Dragging religion into politics does not affect
| the character of religion, any more than daub-
| ing mud on FURNISHED gold will injure ihe met
al.
The Cincinnati papers published portraits
of Sullivan and McCaffrey, the pugilists, which
made them appear like a couple of vicious bull
dogs.
| We are told that Cleveland thinks of coming
to Ohio during the campaign. That's right!
Let the fat man of the side-show be introduced
by Clown Hoadly.
AT the Veterans Reunion at Ft. Wayne, the
| battle of Shiloh was fought as sham battle.
We should like to have been there and seen
Sherman surprised.
The Prohibition Party is like tick dogs
tail. 1t proposes to stick to the old parties
| til it worries them to death. But it should
member that even the Prohibition party is not
| too fiat to be crushed.
Rev. Sam. Jones, speaking of women who do
nothing but shop, says shell is full of such wo-
men that" 1t strikes us that Rev. Sam indi-
Gates little too much personal knowledge of
hell.
A black cat down in Georgia "turned gray
| from grief" There was probably no boarding
| house in the neighborhood and nothing for the
| poor cat to wake up.
| The Dutch Women's League has petitioned
English Parliament to suppress the traffic in
| girls. The purchasing of young girl is regard
ed great Mistake.
The Detroit Free Press thinks only one man
in ninety y-seven is perfectly sound in mind and
body. But the Free Press is Democratic pa
per, and speaks only what it sees.
Hoadly thinks Ohio was carried last Fall by
personal promises of places, on the part of Mr..
Blaine. But Hoadly will scarcely fire a hum
dred guns over the result this year.
Some forked -tonged Democrat has found two
hundred Republicans in Jackson County who
| found two in the County, but we doubt it.
"Pa. do hounds love to chase foxes?" said lit
tie Jim.
"Why, of course they do, why do you ask?"
because, in this report of the chase, the pa
per says the hounds were crying loudly?'
The world has gotten even with Rev. Tall
madge. The Pictorial Burean is furnishing his
"port1ait' to the newspapers. The great
preacher never got off anything rough as
that picture.
| The next young lady who attempts to kill
| herself because her lover has gone off with some
| other girl, should pause and inquire if that is
not just what the fellow wants her to do.
|
An enthusiastic convert at Munger's meeting
at Washington G. H, advised all sinners to
| come and be saved, and thus assure grand
Republican victory this fall. This is the worst
| case of running it into politics" that we have
| seen.
Fred. Bronson and Grace Hart. aged 16 and 15
| respectively, read dime novel, then ran away
| from their homes in Connecticut and camped
| in the Adirondacks. Their parents found them
and smacked all of the romance out of them.
| #.+
| Misfortunes never come singly. Here we had
| scarcely got over grieving about the drouth
running the meadows. until the cool weather
| comes along and threatens the corn with frost.
the Democratic Executive Committee in
| Pike County resigned. The trouble over there
is said to be partly occasioned by appointments
connected with the distillery.
Does the fact ever occur 10 ardent Temper
ance people that the laws of Ohio have for
many years been such that their enforcement
would have wiped out every doggery in the
State?
The Cincinnati Post thinks prize-fight with
gloves is q very nice, moral and instructive
kind of affair. 1t might be good thing for the
| Sundy School Children to see man with his
nose mashed, an ear torn off, eye swelled
shut, and similar marks of beauty and piety.
did you know" said a mischievous person
to an old lady who was smoking "that that
tobacco contained nicotine?"-
"Great Heavens And to think, that might
hev bin blowed up, long agor' she shouted, l.,
throwing the pipe out of the window.
PROHIBITION CONVENTION. Secretary-"Mr.
Chairman, move you that we adjourn"
Chairman-"I second the motion! Those IA
voring the motion say Aver
Chairman and Secretary-"Aye!"
Chairman-"Carried !"
Fred spitkey, of vincennes Ind, tried to kill
himself by taking strychnine, but the druggist
sold him powdered chalk, which he swallowed
in glass of beer. After chalking his inside,
and bidding his friends good by, he discovered
that he was in no more danger than a skating
rink.
HOadlY is against Prohibition. Leonard is fol