Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-01-08
TAkfN FOR A TRAMP.

There islo uenylng the TACT that hi
looked sedy. His hat was of the
s.shockingbad order, the cut of his
coat of argue style, his general make.
up of the podern tramp school. Try,
ing to dodge cart in crossing upper
Broadwa Yesterday, gentlemen Of
the abovedescription blundered against
a vehicle oming from the opposite di.
rection. I'D smeared his hand with tai
grease ooing from one of the hubs. Il
IS a good hing to have clean hands,
although manual unclean1iness is NO
uncomnlon thing in this great, bad city.
Walkine INTO an adjacent hotel, the
man of sneared hand proceeded to
wash himself in one of the marble
basins forlavatory use.
ssCan tyou readp" asked stylish
Young 1nan with cutaway coat, richly
particoloed scarf and glittering dia-
mond scsf pin.
81 can, answered the stranger, as
he vigorously rubbed the ball Of soap
over his meared hand. 'sWhy do you
askp''
.Because| there is a printed notice
over your head that you should read
and heed
"Ah! Isee," was the strangers cool
reioinder. raising his eyes and reading
the notice '.For exclusive use of the
guests, ''snd then he continued in the
same cod tone: 81 had not observed
the notice before. 1t is not an original
idea, by any means. I have seen it
freauennFin hotels, but it's intensely
stupid-ms no meaning in it. One
of the rules of the house, is itp What
nonsense! What constitutes a hotel
guest?"
81 don't want any of your conun-
drums, old fellow" Indignantly inter
rupted theyoung man, his flashing dia-
mond paIed by the fiery flashing Of his
eyes. lou are not a guest of the ho-
tel; so etout of here"
s.Who are you, that you should talk
to me in that waya" asked the stranger,
in the same tone of imperturbable
calmnes. and scanning his interlocutor
with keenly-scrutinizing gaze as he
began toWipe his hands on the immac-
ulate towel suspended from a roller
81 bdong to the hotel I ann the
clerk, = quickly answered the young
man, With that professional air Of
colossalimportance and supreme con-
tempt for ordinary mortals, which it is
expectd will be followed by an imme-
date paalyzing effect.
s.Thea ] don't mind,'' said the stran-
ger. L am not as frightened as /
might have been. thought surely the
hotel Monged to you, instead of your
belonging to the hotel,''
II don't want any more WORDS; you
get ouof here, quick.
ssYomg man." and the words were
utteredin a slow and deliberate tone,
II wan to give you some advice; it's
very old and trite, but it is very good
for fist young man like you. Think
before Tou speak, Never Judge from
appeannces.' Impress these aphorisms
on Won feeble mind. The fact -
''Bu tell you again, get out of
here, fairly screamed the young man
in his Increasing rage, ''or I'll call
ipolicenan.'
81 Dn't get out of here, and no
policenan will put me out, either. You
insulthgly called my attention to that
printed notice, For exclusive use of the
guests Now, understanding clearly,
the mdnent a stranger steps foot over
the tkpshoId of hotel he is the
'guestf that hotel and entitled to its
privileges and comforts; for all the
privileges and comforts he chooses to
avail himself of he can be charged.
THERE'S no law restricting him in the
freedal of his choice, and neither is
there.ny law compelling him to stay
longa1 than he wishes. I desire to
avail myself of no further privileges at
this intel, and propose to leave at
once. Now, want to see the proprie-
tor and pay my bill. y
there's nothing to pay, and it there
was pu probably haven't dime about
yourdothes. There's the door"
M young friend, see that avenue
of egess, and / propose to utilize it in
my orn good time; but see you will
not TIE advice. I've only one word
YOU" taking the young man
by th collar, who paled and quivered
undehis wrathful grasp and menacing
eye. II have only just arrived in this
city.,ut if meet any more like you l
shall do two things-enlarge the
bouaaries of my private burying
groud and found an asylum SO long
needd in this country for that large
classof imbecile cursed fools-hotel
clerb.r
''lhave used your wash basin, soap
andDwel,n the stranger said to the
protector. whom he found in the Of
flee. and I want to pay my bill.''
there is nothing to pay politely
ansgered the PROPRIETOR
hut / insist on it. taking out a
lars roll of bills and extracting a ten
dollr note and laying it on the, coun-
ter. eff it's more than the bill would
be, se the balance in trying to germ
mat brains and develop good man
Merlin your hotel clerk. J"
ss91t sir-'
lie stranger disappeared. Later in
the gentleman-a promi-
men lawyer of this city and cx-Judge
OF ae of the higher eourts-recited the
aboe story to a party of gentlemen
dimg with him at Delmonico's s. He
hadjust come from the mines of Cali
forda, having gone there in spirit OF
adsnture and to- improve his health,
andhe retained his naming garb until
his.rrival to astonish his friends and
amse himself over their puzzling fail
ure to recognize him. It is hardly
ncessary to- add that the idea of an
aslnm for hosel clerks was received as
onsof the brightest indications OF the
philanthropic spirit OF
i. Herald.