, 1885-07-03

I
BOUND WEST
No 8 40 p m iOp m
BOUND EAST
Arrive Depart
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Denver Pacific Time Table.
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LITTLE LEADERS.
soon to the seashore We shall HE.
or picnic In the grove
Sitting perchance In eustard pie,
Beside the girl ne love.
Chicago Sun.
Wen stain with grass and other things.
The bosom Of our pants.
And make some grabs At sudden stings
OF wild, exploring ants.
ONE man in this city thought, yester-
day, hat it was the brick yard that had
exploded.
THE postmasters of Colorado will have
a Waterbury watch now George is post
office inspector.
SOME almanacs 5000 years old have
been found in London. What bonanza
for circus clownsl
The acquittal of Mrs. Dudley ought to
be a hint to 0'Donovan Rosa, as full of
emphasis as a pile driver.
4 SUICIDE in New Orleans shot off his
mouth with a revolver. 1t isn't healthy
to shoot of ones mouth too much.
A CORRESPONDENT writes to ask some
advice about going to a picnic. The best
advice we can offer at this writing is, stay
at home.
A PoEM in the Drorers Journal begins,
''Will | be missed when I am dead2"
Well, that is owing to the size OF your
bank account.
lT is said that the Chinese are adopts at
curing fish. There is a Chinese doctor at
Pueblo who has credit for being able to
cure anything.
A LEXINGTON, Ky, musician beat an
editor over the head with a tuning fork.
He found a discord when the editor cleft
his jaw with a staff.
A TEAM vent by this office last night
which should be mentioned under the
head Of Passing Events" 1t was going
fast enough to pass a railway train.
GIN. GRANTS doctors have made al
most everybody, except the old hero him
self, believe that he is suffering more than
he really does. He never was very scarey.
A Los ANGELES jury has decided that
poker is net a game of chance. Well
that's a fact in the case of a show down
against four aces. The other fellows have
no chance whatever.
"TwENTY-EIGHT states in the union
have adopted laws restricting the practice
OF medicine to educated persons, Won't
this be pretty hard on a large part of the
medical profession?
An exchange says AT a recent flower
fcte in Paris, about $40,0 we're taken at
the gate in one day" This calls to mind
the time when, at the Kansas City expo
sition- about $4,000 we're taken at the
gate in n minute-by the james boys.
SAMSON is the name of an elephant
which has been cutting a lot Of dangerous
didoes in a circus at Detroit. From the
manner in which this old jungle Samson
has been acting, one is led to believe that
some day be will throw his trunk around
the center pole and pull the temple down.
An old Californian ordered spring
chicken in a Cheyenne restaurant yester-
day and when it was served he began an
attempt to artieulate it, but only sue
cseded in calculating something which
sounded like Just as | expected
Tougher'n h-li Fan Of 40 or spring
of SO"
The Associated Press is trying to kill off
Kaiser William again, but in the language
Of the complacent "Mr. Toots' cts of
no consequence. The old gentleman is
not going to ascend the fume just to fur
nlsh a big item to those fellows, and they
are making all they can out of his case
with a semi-occasional regularity.
-
II is said that moving machines are
great enemies to snakes, chopping their
heads off numerously. Temperance socie-
ties have driven away a great many of
them too. While on this subject it may
not be out Of the way to suggest the belief
that Father Matthew drove more snakes
out Of Ireland that St. Patrick did.
IT Is said that a boy in Sacramento
passed beans into his ears for the amuse-
ment Of his friends and that some of the
beans have stuck there and he is threat
ened with brain fever. The latter part of
the paragraph brands the first as lie. A
boy who will stick beans in his ear cannot
have brain fever, because he hasn't got
any brains for the fever TO hold to.
A GOOD story is being told Of promin:
ent stockman, whose ranches are located
in Northwestern Wyoming, and whose
native place is England, He is a gentle
man Of aesthetic tastes and a famous aud
enthusiastic hunter, who takes especial
pride in a noble pack of trained hounds,
which follows him ON all hunting cxcur-
sions. Not long ago he had as guest
another well known stockgrower who has