davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10

The Cuban seno,ita is rathar small
quite plump, has raven black hair,
plenty of it, and large black eyes, which
she knows how to Use. The schools are
under the control of the Roman Cath
olic Church, the sexes attending differ
ent schools. From the fact that girls
are so strictly separated from the boys
at school and cther public places, it
follows that distrust of the other sex
is instilled into the youthful mind. No
woman can 90 on the street alone; she
must have a scrawny female companion
or two or three servants. Even the
lover cannot see his Dulcinea alone.
He must do his courting in the presence
of one or more ancient ladies, who
watch every smile and hear every ex-
preston of endearment. Occasionally
those love sick creatures steal to y
corner and indulge in little decorous
embracing, The Cuban girl makes an
efectionate wife and is fully matGred at
twelve years, frequently having quite a
large family at twenty, AZ is usual in
hot climates she loses her beauty cary
and makes the ugliest old woman on
the two hcmispliercs.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
Church Directory,

Reformed Church--Rcv. A. B.S!on"r, pas,
tor Weekly Lectures Tuesday evening. -
Meeting Of Ladies' Aid Society every second
Wednesday evening. Regular services by
appointment from the pulpit
Lutheran Church-Re w. G. Wire pas
tor. Services, Sunday 10 A. NJ and $50 p.
N. Sunday School, 3. Z, NJ. Prayer Meet
ing, Wednesday, G.45 P. NJ.
Protestant Episcopal Church-Rev. Ern-
rst AcGil, Rector. Scr;iccS;Sun11y, 10 A.
N and SIS p, NJ. Sunday School, 900 p.
II.
Moravian Church, (McchanicNown) Rcv.
G. G. I.anius, Pastor. Preaching every sun
day, alternating morning and evening
Prayer Meeting every Friday evening sun
day School 9 O'Clock, a IN.
horayian Church (Gracchan) Rev. c. c.
Lanius, Pastor.
Preaching every Sunday alternating NOR
Ming and evening
Mite Society every Monday evening
Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening
United Brethren Church-Mitc Society
Second and Fourth Wednesday.
Sunday School ; p. NJ
PRAYER Meeting every Thursday evening
he kulsr Services BY appointment from the
pulpit.
Methodist Episcopal Church - Rev. O
Re!t, Pastor. Services every alternate
Sunday at 10 4. VI. Sunday School 9 A. NJ
PRAYER Meeting every Thursday evening at
p. H.
United Brethren Church-Rcv W. L.
Martin Pastor. Services every alternate
Sunday at 3 p. m. Sunday School every
Sunday at p. IN. PRAYER Hcvliny every
Thursday evening at p. m.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
Flowers vi' stSS,.e Paper.

stationcrs are reporting large sa
Of imported tissue papers since t.
craze tor making decorative articles
this inexpensive material began. I'll
paper is produced in every conceivaF
shade, and in 8radation tints; and
the hands Of Ingenious persons Of ar
tic tastes, undcrgoes wonderful trau,
formations in placQuea, flowers, faa
screens, dolls, mats, picture-fr -fram
CRATES ana hangings. Another dema
on the tissue paper trade are the paI'
balls and parties, where guests app
attired i'll picturesque costumes CO..
posed Of tissue paper.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
------------~<S . SSS~---------------
s'sIHgeEls Paragraphs.

The best halr invigorator is a grey
hound.
Loves warning cry: Don't Jack you
hurt my vaccination.
A lie has no legs. Neither has a
cheese. Some choeses are living lies.
Siberian cats are the newest agony in
pets. A Siberian eat has cold and
searching voice, and is valuable addi-
ton 10 the backyard orchestra.
1t is said that if insanity is latent in
a person, it will almost always develop
itself at sea- Nearly everything in il
person usually develops itself at sea.
A new novel just issued is said to
have been written between the hours Of
9 and 6 clock in the morning. The
evils Of late houre seem to be accumu-
lating.
Lieutenant SchwatIa and Engineer
Melville are again laying their plans
to find the North pole. 1t would be
easier for them and less expensive to 80
to bel and blow the gas out'-S. FauI
GLOBE.
They have patented an automatic
milk stool at last. Shuts up when the
COW kicks
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
He hid more Girls than one.

So U called last night on ME ?
O! l heard it all, u bet;
e. U said U had no other,
Yes U did, l don't 4-get.
U took her 2 the Museum,
&C A tragedy,
That they really gave U 4 10 cents,
& never once took me.
& now e call on me 2-night,
Try 2 make NE things B-licve,
Y did U not A-102 her,
Y'R comp NE this eve?
O. how can U B so cru-L,
& Z morrow night no doubt,
U'L B with some other BU II,
That i've promised 2 take out?
Y, U r growing worse each day,
& / really do B-lieve,
That u don't care N E 4 me,
But | don't in 10 2 grieve.
There is K-T, Nell & ME,
Many more 2 name & @,
& how y keep in with them all
Is A Miss Terry" :. me.
How many 2 confiding girls,
Have listened 2 U Il ole,
Whose lO-der hearts q crucl'y broke
Now laugh G. think it iol-E.
| don't mean 2 insin-U.9,
That U would B guilt of
N E crime that would iniure U,
Or un G U Il my love.
E LEVIN clock is striking,
& G B yond the Rbor,
How B-U-T-iuIl the moon looks;
"Ah, YES" & | G fath-R
-CdrtSlc Herald
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
Under. Fire.
from tie New York Tribune


Some iime before the war a fresoy
terl'n Gle "@yman ON New l1ahirsnlfe
went South, with ms 1am'!y' lor the
benefit OF his health. lie purchased a
little farm IN Virginia, about three
miles IRON Washington u y, access
10 "'!ch was Aad by the way OF ueof6e-
town and the A4Neduct Bridge ne
gradually failed In health however and
died, leaving wldow-Mrs, Gayes--
and two girls and two boys, AT the
breaking out OF the war IN 1901, MRS,
6Ayes and hor e'"tr daughter, who was
abont fifteen years OF age, took decid-
ed stand in favor OF the Union cause.
1t required not little moral courage
to 90 this ; but there was no element
OF fear in the makeup OF any member
of the family. at first their home was
within the Confederate Ines and COM
mnulcation with Washington was very
dii'i,A't and hazardous. Mrs. G"yeS
was lidlculed, and sometimes threaten
ed, but it aval.ed nothing.
After the Confederate lines were
driven back few miles In 1851, forll-
icatlons We're constructed around
Washington for the protection OF the
National Capital. They consisted OF
fort arranged in nearly circle. The
line crossed the Potomac near Chain
Bridge above Georgetown, extending
thence down to Arlington Heights and
some distance below, recrosslng the
river about half way between Eong
Bridge and Alexandria,and so on around
until the circle was complete. Within
this line, and about mile and half
from Fort Smith, situated on little
eminence, was Mrs. Cages modest
home, protected now from the enemy,
but suffering more, perhaps, from nef
friends. Many regiments were en-
camped near by and little by little
her timber and fences and crops disap-
pearel, until there WAS scarcely any
thing left save the house and the land.
Even the cook stove was missing one
morning. Very frequently at night
she was aroused by the beating Of the
long ROLL the shouting of words of
command, and the trampinc of regi
want, &c +bov su;stlv f,rmod IN line Of
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
E.:ebGr lost.

The f,llowing incident is authori-
lively told of {, New York mere liant re-
siding on Hancock street, in Brooklyn:
Although gentleman Of comfortable
means, the merchant has frequently
economical fits. Desiring to surprise
his wife upon her return from the coun
try, Mr.. concluded to uLd er
take the task of vanishing his dining
room, which had lost some of the lustre
After dcvotlng some little time to
searching for pot of varnish which
ha been used Oh previous occasions, ,ths
merchant coatless and with rolled-ut
sleeves, began the job, which, after I;
labor of eight hours, he finished to his
entire sltistaction.
The following morning he rose early
and the tilst mission was to examine
his work. Greatly to his surprise he
found, upon entering the room, that the
"varnish' had not dried a particle, al
though both doors and windows had
been left open. A closer examination
disclosed the fact that unfortunately he
had not found the pot of varnish, and
had actually varni>Led his entire din.
ingroom with maple syrup! This IS Il
true incident in which the facts are e3-
actly as here related
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
No. 80.

The a,hleticism of lhese times is not
always conducive to the smooth running
of the household.
Il must hurry home sad Mrs. De
Peyser to Mrs De Joghus the other
morning, 'Reginand has been riding
his bicycle again.
"Indeed, and did he break record?'
con, no, hut he broke his other leg
H. has onl y one whole limb now, ap,;
that is the middle fng r on his left
lan.in.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10

"My dca',' SAID thin little Brook
lyn man to his wife, this paper says
that there is woman down East who
goes out and chops wood with her hus-
bHnd.' "Well, what Of it: ] should
think she could easily do it If he is as
thin as you are. I've often thought Of
using you to peel potatoes with" The
thin man laid Gown his paper with a
Sigh that sounded like the squeak of a
penny whistle.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
Guarded Virgins.

See our Great Cl't5 and PemG,tm HtI
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10

In the cool of the evening Charley
was taken home in an ambulance, sent
for that purpose from the fort. The
officers did everything in their power
to atone for the suffering they had SO
careless ly but unintentionally caused.
The surgeon and his assistants attended
him tenderly and carefully until he
was we'll. The surgeon offered to pro-
cure his mother pension, but Mrs
Gayes declined, saying that she was too
thankful that her boy was alive to
think of asking aid from the Govern
ment. Charley was soon able to walk
with the aid OF crutches, but could not
dispense with their use for many
MOI tbs.
Mrs Cages, now an aged woman,
loves to tell Of those perilous tines
One OF her daughters, a lady of rare
qualities, fills one of the highest posi-
tions allowed to her sex in the Govern
ment departments in Washington She
has in her little cabinet at home the
very piece Of 81 ell which did its cruel
wor!: that day. 1t is rusty, and when
picked up was blood-stained. Charley
is florist, and brings his flowers resu-
lar]y to one of the Washington markets.
lie limps a little, and will always have
to remember the summer morning
when the New York regiment in Fort
Smith bomlarded his mothers house.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
A GA MEp.
DIR. HIRAM BUHRMAN,

physician and surgeon, takes pleasure in an
nCuncing to the citizens of Meclanicstown
and vicinity that he has located here in the
practice Of medicine. For the present he
may lie found at
TIE GILBERT HOUSE,
until he secures an office or a residence for
himself and family.
lie would further add that he has came 10
stay and hopes by strict and uaright deport-
ment to merit the confidence and support of
II discerning publ!
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1885-12-10
BALTIC. & c. V. RAILROAD.

BALTIC. & G. V. RAILROAD.
Trains leave Edgemont for Wayncsboro,
Chambersburg and Shippensburs daily eX-
cept Sunday at 7.37 and l1.4o A. NJ. and 730
=. NJ. on Sunday ut IT. m and-P. NJ.
Trains for Edgemont leave daily Shippcns-
burg at G,52 A. NJ and .35 and 4 - p. NJ,
Chambersburg at 7 IS A. NJ, 2.l0 and 4.3s
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05

There are lots of things woman
can do that man cannot. A woman
can hold more clothes pins in her
mouth and look through a knot hole
at the same time. She can come to q
conclusion without the slightest troub-
lie OF reasoning ON il. She can safely
stick Atty pins in her dress while he is
getting one under the thumb nail.
She can button her shoes standing up,
with both feet on the floor, but he
can't. She is rs cool as a cucumber
in half dozen tight dresses and skirt,
while man will sweat and fume and
growl in one loose shirt. She can talk
as sweet as peaches and cream to a
woman she hates, while two men
would be punching each others heads
before they had exchanged ten words.
She can throw stone with q curve
that would be fortune to a baseball
pitcher She can say "No" and stick
to it for time She can also say
"No" in such low voice that it means
AYES" She can pass display win
dow OF dry goods store without stop
ping, if she is running to catch a
train. She can dance all night in a
pair of shoes two sizes too small for
her, and enjoy every minute Of her
time. She can sharpen lead pencil,
if you give her plenty Of time and
plenty Of pencils. She can appreciate
kiss from her husband seventy-five
years after the marriage ceremony
is performed. She can go to church,
and afterwards tell you what every
woman in the congregation had on,
and in some rare instances, can give
you faint idea OF what the text was,
She can walk half the night with a
collicky baby in her arms, without
once expressing desire to murder the
infant She can go to the theatre ev.
cry evening, and the matinee on
Wednesday and Saturday, and still
possess sufficient strength to attend a
Sunday evening sacred concert. She
can-but what's the useH A woman
can do anything or everything, and
do 1t we'll. She can do more in min
ute than a'man can in an hour, and
do it better. She can make the al
legged lords Of creation bow down 4
her own sweet will, and they will nevel
know it. She can drive man crazy
for twenty-four hours, and bring hin
to paradise in two seconds, by simpl.
tickling him under the chin, and ther
does not live that mortal son OF Adam
who can do it.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05
Giving People Tafy Does No Good.
Bnrdette In Brooklyn Eagle.

1rANSttV h oASNAA1h ASaBlSs
My son, if l should publish a daily
paper for twenty years--if you can
just strain your credulity to the point
Of believing that keep daily paper
going longer than six weeks--if /
should publish daily paper twenty
years, and in all that time take occa-
sion to mention you about twice q
week as "our distinguished fellow
townsman" and "that eminent man of
letters and merchant prince" and
should say every time you had "de-
parted" for the east, and when you
came back I should notice that "our
justly pop'.lar fellow-citizen" had "re-
turned F.; III should in all those years
praise your dog, your horse, your
goods, your wife and babies, your
clothes, and your character, and then
some day when / was away attending
q convention, my local editor should
call the attention OF the town marshal
to the filthy condition of the street
and sidewalk in front Of your store,
would you ever forgive me2 Would
your You would denounce the paper
as "scurrilous sheet" and its editor
"lying scandalmonger that ought to
be whipped out OF the community"
That is the reason, my son, why thege
are but two kinds OF editors. One is o
meek, smiling, timed little scrivener,
Sho pays all the bills and allows his
neighbors to edit the paper; and the
other is 3 truculent savage, who vi
ciously scratches out the nice little
personal the local editor has written
about your arrival home and sends it
in, "By some inscrutable degree of a
stern and relentless Providence old
Jake Diffenbaugh has been permitted
to come home alive" and then meets
you at the head OF the stairs with q
bootjack and pounds the top Of your
head in when you come TO see him
about it.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05


then undertook the invasion of Mary
land, which WAS brought to a close by
the battle of Antietam, September 16,
II. They then crossed the Potomac
and fell leisurely back toward the
Rapidan. Great dissatisfaction was
felt at the slowness with which. Nc
Clellan followed them, and OH Nov. Z,
when he appeared to be making prep
arations for an attack in force, he was
superseded in command by Gen, Burn
side. Mcclellan was directed to pro-
ceed to Trenton, N. j., there to await
further orders, and took no further
part in the war. The Democratic Ma
tional Convention, held at Chicago
August 81, 1854, nominated him for
the Presidency. He received only the
p electoral votes OF the States OF Della
ware, Kentucky and New Jersey, the
remaining 212 electoral votes admitted
being cast for Abraham Lincoln. OF
the popular vote 2,223035 "a little
more than 55 per cent? were cast for
Lincoln, and l,Sll,754 "a little less
than As per cent? for Mcclellan, The
latter resigned his commission in the
army ON the day of the election, No.
vember 8, 1864, took up his residence
in New York, and afterward went to
Europe. In 1868 he returned from
Europe and took up his residence
near Orange, N. j., and engaged in
practice as an engineer, BY the will
of Mr.. Edwin A. Stevens he was placed
in charge of the Stevens floating bat
terry which had for number OF years
been in course of construction at Ho'
bokeR. He WAS also made superin
tendent OF the construction of the rail
way bridge over the Hudson river
near Poughkeepsie, N. Y, and super
intendent OF the docks and piers il
the city OF New York, but resigned
the latter Office in 1872 He has trans
lated from the French "a Manual o
Bayonet Exercises" adapted for thu
use of the United States army, and
written volume OF the government
reports OF the. "Pacific Railroad Sur
veys," volume of the reports Of thu
European Commission, "The Armies
of Europe" &C., printed by order o
Congress and Report on the Organ
ization and Campaigns of the Army o
the Potomac"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05
a Good Rensen.

Two German school boys we're talk
ing about the complications with
Spain.
~ am glad to see our Kaiser seiEing
the Caroline Islands" L"
~ aint."
"why not, Karl. Art thou not a
lover Of thy eountryf"
"That's all very well, but there are
600 islands in the group, and If they
become Germany property We will
have TO learn the names of the last
one OF them by heart. I'm down on
that kind Of foreign policy"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05

Of the ladder, instead Of the girl, he
only finds it out by the odor of the
starch, or by the girftelling him he is
in the wrong pew. And then when
they get in the carriage to fly to the
minister who is to buckle up the doub-
le harness in which they are to trot
for life, he does not know but the
hack driver may be detective, or the
girls father, And when they are
married, and all is over, the blind man
is not dead sure whether he has elop-
ed with his intended or the hired girl.
II blind men must marry, and it is
supposable that they must; they
should marry old aequaintanceS, and
not tie up with strangers, who could
so easily deceive them.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05
what Carlyle and Spencer
THaoaght Of Each Other.

W. s. Lilly, in the Contemporary
Review, tells the following story about
Herbert Spencer and Carlyle:
A man who numbered among his
acquaintance those two eminent per-
sons was anxious that his son, an un-
dergraduate at Oxford, should be in
troduced to them. So one dav he
took the youth to call on Mr.. Spencer
and. as they were departing, he said
1--WE are going on to see Mr.. Carlyle" /"
"Ah, Mr.. Carlyis," Mr.. Spencer is re-
ported to have replied; II am afraid
he has done more to propagate error
than any other writer OF the century"
Nothing daunted, they made their pill
grimage to Chelsea, and when their in
terview with the sage Of Cheyne Row
came to an end the father observed
."This will be day fol my boy to look
back upon, Mr.. Carlyle, for in it he
has been introduced to two great men,
yourself and Mr.. Herbert Spencer.
Herbert Sp0ncerl Herbert Spencer
an Unreasonable ass" was the re-
sponse of the oracle.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05

"Mr. Duzenberry, don't see how
you, as Christian man, can 60 to the
baseball mstehes.p
Why, my dearY
"0h, there's such outrageous gaings
onl 1t is q wonder the police allow
itp
"To what do you refer. my lovel"
ITO yesterdays game, which no
doubt didn't differ from any of the
others. The paper here saysthat they
knocked the pitcher all over the field.
It's absolutely brutal"
First Vassar Girl--"Selina; ] just
read Of a man who would have made
3 lovely President for our college,
Second vassar Girl ClistiesHly)--
"Yes."
He now has charge Of the sEducs
tionaf Home for the Indiana"
Yea" (Mors listlesly.l
Ellis name alone shows thaE he Il
eminently qualifleda
"What is his nane" (Almos
asleep.)
@Df William Hags."
"0h. whydidnt shs Board get nins'
with great aainaasion.l
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05

ut beats all how much 10 expected
OF q dry goods man." said L. +. Otis,
as he laid some flannel undershirts
carefully away in box. Every lit
tie while some one is sent TO the store
for some article in thread or wearing
apparel. II I ask what size or quality
is wanted, the messengeranswera, she
said you would know what 10 send.
Only yesterday a child came in for
some stockings for her mother. ! ask.
ee what dimensions. The little girl
answered, Ma said you would know
the number. OF course the only
thing for me 10 do was to make the
best guess | knew how"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05

Did you ever listen to young coup
le working up to that point of atfec-
tionate intimacy at which they call
one another by their Christian names2
1T has been a lovely party hasn't
it Miss Jasksoni"
Lovely, Mr.. Wilkins"
81 have known you a long time,
Miss Jackson"
"And l have known you quite a
while"
"I've often heard my sister speak Of
you."
Sand my brother is always talking
about you"
"1s hei hear 80 much about you
that feel quite at home with YOU"
"It's a lovely night. isn't it, Mr..
Wilkinss"
Beautiful. / think Edith's such a
pretty name"
do your I don't like IT,"
Edith"
"What did you say3"
"Oh, nothing. was merely repeat.
ing the name"
II don't like all mems names.
like some. like Philip and Ferdi.
nand and"
"What do you think Of George"
"That's your name, Georgel"
II beg your pardon"
"Oh, nothing / was only repeat
ing the name.p
'"What q lovely night 1t is, isn't it
Miss Edithf"
"Oh, therel George Wilkins, wha
did you let me slip ON that cobble
stone fori"
"iPon my word, / didn't do it, Mis-
Edith"
"Well, we are at home, or am, MI
GeorgeW
| "IamyerY sorry"
$50 am l. I'm so much obliged 10
your escort; I've had such a lovel,
time"
And so have l."
Good night, Mr.. wilkins"
"Good night, Miss Jackson"
"Good night"
"Good night"
| Good night-Edith."
Good night-Georgep
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-11-05
VOL. IL.
The Nautical Eveninr DRESS.

The PurItan's the latest style Of dress for even
iIlg wear.
And quite becoming It's, they say, to maidens
young and fair.
f. The various parts bear names peculiar to a yes.
sells sails.
The mainsail jb, and 80 forth, and the trim.
mings are the brails,
Now when lady's dressing twill sound queer
TO hear her CALL
Jane, bring me up my spinnaker, I'm dressing
for the ball.