davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01

man and leaves no unkind feeling in the
heart of any. Charles +. Browne was
such a man.
AS a hum0rist "Artemns Ward" was
kind, genial, good-natured. His humor
was genuine and hearty. He wrote no
satire. He ridiculed no mans opinion.
He attacked no mans belief He wrote
simply to amuse, and succeeded. In no
line of bis is there anything of the
coarseness or iDdelicacy which some of
his followers seem to regard as essential
to humorous writing. He had something
of that imagination, that tender love of
humanity. that quick appreciation of
the ridiculous in surrounding an incl
dent which made Charles Dickens, as
humorist, the most CONSPICUOUS figure of
bis age.
But "Artemus Wards" voice has long
been silent. He died 10 the prime of life
just as his genius had made him famous
He fell victim to the besetting sin
which has killed many men of genius,
which is killing many every day. He was
not hard drinker 1t was the railway
journal of the day and the excitement
of the evenings lecture, followed by q
scene of merrymaking consuming half or
all the night needed for repose, which
caused his death. Such life will wear
out any man. Five years of it killed
Charles Browne.
Men fall around us every day from a
like cause, and the world takes no note
of it. When such rare geniuses as Shep-
herd, Poe and Charles Browne fall, then
our attention is attracted. Their melan-
choly deaths in early life are temperance
lectures more potent than any work of
Cheever, more thrilling than any utter
ance of Cough.
"Artemus Ward" will add nothing
more to the worlds amusement. Those
who once roared with laughter at his
witticisms have forgotten him. Death
called him while he was yet reaping new
laurels in foreign land. America
mourned her favOrite humorist, and
the nations grief was fifty expressed by
his intimate friend and brother humor-
ist who wrote these pathetic words of
eulogy:
death has done cruel thing. Death
seldom is kind. He moves his sythe all
round the world, now in this field, now
in that. Wheat, flowers and weeds wilt,
drOop and wither, for he mows early and
late, in city and town, by the heartstone,
and away off where the wanderers are.
Death is seldom kind. Many fields are
all bare, for he cuts closely and cruelty
he loves to NOW. He moved for Abel
of old and for Abel of yesterday. Death
mows strangely, and round fall daisy
and grass. and alone snarling stands the
coarse thistle, left for what Death, you
have moved where the wittiest of them
all stood; whose words have gone laugh
iDgly all over the world; whose heart
was as good and soft as a mothers. You
have moved where "Artemus Ward"
stood, and Humor wears mourning now
for the child of her heart"
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
A COOg Client.
[San Francisco News Letter

An acquaintance of mine-a young
lawyer, tired of being briefess and fee
less here in San Francisco-determined
year ago to establish himself in some
interior county seat. A few months
after he wrote me that he had his first
case and that he had won it, 1t was a
hard case, he wrote, one that required
much study and ingenuity, but he had
won it, and assured me that he consider.
ed his fee-$50, believe-as well earn
ed. His client was an old countryman,
simple and unsophisiicated, and he had
endeavored to post him on the ways and
doings of courts, so that he should attend
the trial without embarrassment or trepi.
dation. By his GOODNESS in court the
client did honor to his lawyer.
My friend came down here to spend
the holidays, and we met. | asked him,
laughingly, whether he had had another
case since his first. He looked at me
curiously, and told me that something
incredible had happened in regard to
that affair. That same morning he met
his former client, and over an appetizer
they had discussed the matter.
"That only cost me hundred dollars"
said the client.
"a hundred?' asked the lawyer.
"Yes-J took the Judge out for a
drink, and gave him fifty dollars. That's
why was so cool in court"
The feelings of my young lawyer friend
ran be better imagined than described.
Still he looked upon it as coed joke. /
rather spoiled his amusement by asking
him whether he had returned to his cir
ent his "well earned fee"
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
The Girl Opposite

The editor OF the Philadelphia Times
has been flirting with "the girl opposite"
and gives his readers the benefit of his
experience in lengthy article:
II is wise and merciful dispensatioH
of nature that there nearly always is
girl opposite. Possibly dweller in the
proverbial vast wilderness might hit up
on an exception to this far reaching rule;
but the chances are just as he was think
ing how dismal it was that he had come
at last to region where no girl opposite
was to be found he would see the savage
woman out of Locksley Hall peeping at
him from among the bushes on the other
side of the stream-and then the usual
Irritation with the looking glass would
begin. For the Irritation always does
begin with looking-glass, and so, after
all, the self-alleged inventor of hello
graphy is only base cOpyist.
Millions is but thin shallow sort of
word to express the number of men who
have at one time or another in their
lives been subject to the will of the girl
opposite, and who have regulated their
personal affairs-their comings and
goings-not by the requirements of their
professions, but by the eccentric stand
ard of her disappearance and visibility.
Why, did governments impose upon
men one-tenth part of the burdens and
inconvenience which they willingly
bear for the girl opposite, the world
would be more or less swimming in the
sea of revolutionary blood pretty mach
all the time!
These assertions are not made ras,sly
nor carelessly. Have you ever stoy ped
to calculate how much time you have
fooled away in making love to the girl
opposite; that is to say, to all the girls
opposite to whom you have made love in
your life long? And have you ever
stopped to think how few things there
| are in this world that you would sacrifice
30 much time TO for so small a result?
We say 'fooling" away time advisedly.
II flirting with the girl opposite ever led
to the inevitable marrying that in the
long run every fellow must attend to,
then it would be reasonable thing to
| do. But it never does, never. You
marry some other girl, and the girl mar
ries some other fellow, and the whole
performance is just a sheer waste oil
time.
And vet, after all, worse ways than
this is have been invented. Even il you
do marry and 60 to live in Dan, and the
girl marries and goes TO live in Beer
sheba and you never lay eyes on each
other again or hear word about each
other to the very end of your several
days, yet, somehow, you have always a
little soft spot in your heart as you
remember her standing there framed in
the window, like the pretty picture that
she was-'reproof on her lips, but a
smile in her eye,' and simply irresistible,
and you cannot help believing that down
Beersheba-way there is somebody who
remembers all about il, and feels good
deal the same way you do. Truly, the
| girl opposite Is a good deal of bother, bu'
the time for legislsting her out OF oft1cs
has not yet come No indeed"
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
The Old, Old story.

Augustus and Clara had become en-
gagged after the usual manner of young
people who haven't anything else to do,
and Clara showed disposition after some
time to dissolve the tie.
Augustus" she said one evening,
"let's don't be engaged any longer"
whats that forg he inquired with
some surprise.
"Oh, I'm tired, and besides it was only
a sham engagement on my part, anyway.
Here's your ring"
"Don't trouble yourself about the ring
Clara. 1t is only sham diamond any.
way. ] bought half dozen for three dol
lars, just to use in little emergencies like
this. Good by; don't tell any of the othel
girls about the ring, please, and he wen
ont
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01

(Sl.4o); one year they are worth four
taels, and at two and a half they COM
| mand from ten To twenty. They are
matched against their own species, and at
times against dogs, of about the same
general type as our bull terriers. The
fight is bloody and horrible.
In some cities the conqest is made more
exciting and terrible by putting metal
studded collars around the necks of the
two cats. The fight is then resolved into
matter of endurance, and frequently
lasts five hours. When q wildcat is
matched against QUILL terrier, the result
is very uncertain.
If The dog catches the cat by the nose,
throat, or leg he usually wins. But if the
Cat gets on his back, which is often the
case, the dog has hopeless fight. After
repeated attempts to dislodge his foe, hs
succumbs from loss of blood and absolute
| fatigue.
Cock fighting in China resembles that
in the United States. The rules are about
the same, but the gaffs are often more
deadly. Instead Of representing the nor.
NAL shape of the birds weapon, they are
made with two or three points and with
edges like razors. Under such circumstan-
ces fight is frequently determined in a
few minutes.
In Pe-Che-L the beak is sometimes
shOd with pointed steel, and no gaffs are
employed. Unless the eye or throat is
struck the fight is long and monotonous,
the birds being covered with blood in
two minutes. They are also stimulated to
increased effort by being fed with grain
| soaked in mo-ma-dai-o, liquor cores
ponding to whiskey.
Fighting or game cocks are valuable
in China, and have been bred for genera
tions. Those of FOO-Chow are the most
valuable, and possess few qualities save
those of great beauty and reckless cour-
age. They range in price from half
tael (seventy cents) to fifty taels (seventy
dollars), according to the strain from
which they come. The best have pedi-
grees longer then those of our great
horses and dogs.
Male rats are very pugnacious, especial
ly in the spring. They are fed lightly
during the winter months, and with raw
| meats and fshbones. in March and
April they are in condition, and, with q
little excitement, become very ferocious
They are usually fought in small ring,
not more than three feet in diameter
These fights are sharp and short, seldom
LISTING more than twenty minutes. Each
tries to strike the other on the throat,
just behind the cal, and when he succeeds
death follows.
These rats are also fought against dogs
and cats. Generally these combats are
embarrassing, the rat having an instinct
i've fear of both these animals AT times,
however, when well trained, they show
tight, and often have been known to kill
the luckless cat or dog put into the pit
| against them.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
SEVEN GOLD NEEDS.

Seven gold reeds grew tall and slim,
Close by the rivers beaded brim.
Syrinx. the naiad. fitted past;
ran, the goat-hoofed, followed fast
Oh, such race was Joy 10 see.
Swift a. the flight of bird bee.
AZ lightly beat the girls white feet
They made strange music, low and sweet;
SO heavily trod the lusty Pan
HIS hoofs clashed loudly as he ran
He spread his arms 10 clasp her there
tJust as she vanished into alr,)
And TO his bosom. warm and rough,
Prev the gold reeds close enough.
Then the winds low voice began
To hum in the furry ears Of Psn.
Out Of green bark he made a tether,
And bound seven joints of the reeds together
And blew a tune swee: and clear
That all the wild things came TO hear.
SO. to this day. the poets FIRE
Springs out Of his unslaked desire,
When Love winged feet has fed,
And seven gold reeds are clssPed instead,
-lMsurice Thompson, in Harper's.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
Western Rural. |

would like to urge upon all mothers
the necessity of care in case of hard
colds, and prompt action in case of Group.
it is better to administer an unneeded
dose of medicine than to wait until med
icinc can do no good. Never expose q
child when suffering with a heavy cold
or cough. Defer the intended visit, put
off the wash day if it occasions any draft.
1t is much better to lose these than q
dear baby. Battle the little feet, heat
them before the fire, and grease the
throat and chest.
will give you what / call the best
Group remedy. 1t has been known to
cure or prevent when other remedies
have failed. When / hear my little boy
cough his tight, croupy cough in the
night / make connection, have a fire
built, and warm together one part spirits
of turpen tine and two parts of sweet oil
(would use any grease / could get), dip
in flannel and lay on the chest, and
another around the throat. If Group
seems TO be the matter, an emetic must
be given first. Give one that is sure and
follow directions closely. Too large q
dose may act as physic, and it is then
very difficult to vomit. use hive syrup
and tolu. keep it always on hand.
Do not be afraid of spirits of turpentine.
! find so many Directing to its use. Ills
too powerful" they say, or sit strikes TO
the bones" etc. You need something
powerful. If it saves a life, let it blister.
The blister can be easily healed, but I
never knew it to blister when used in the
nroner nroportions
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
PAINTING.
fHarper's Magazine.l

A timid person sees, perchance, some
accident in which human life is possibly
sacrificed, or the sensibilities are other.
wise shocked. His feelings overcome
him, and he faints. How are we to
explain it? Let us see what takes place.
The impression upon the brain made
by the organ of sight creates (through
the agency of special centres in the or
gan Of the mind) an influence upon the
heart and the blood-vessels of the brain.
This results in decrease in the amount
Of blood sent to the brain, and causes a
loss of consciousness.
In the same way persons become dizzy
when looking at waterfall, or from a
height, through the effects Of the organs
of sight upon the brain.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
Not Conducive 20 Energy.
(Philiadelphia Post.l

At Key West, Floaida, summer is per-
petual, and at MONDAY every soul is
asleep. The cocoanut trees nod drowsily,
and the hanna leaves droop under the
heavy air.
The flushed SIM gilds the smooth trunk
of the palms, the hum of the insects Is
husteled, and the cigar maker, who sings
at his work while the morning mist lies
upon the island, seeks the shelter of the
low. browed roofs, smokes his cigarette,
sips his coffee, and lies down to siesto.
The people share their slumber be-
tween the day and the night. They work
in the early morning and in the
evening hours, give their nights to pleas-
ure, and the MONDAY to rest.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01

IbOsIOn SatuTday Evening TaZette.I
A popular minister was asked the
other day how it was possible for him to
preach new sermon every Sunday year
after year, and to find something new to
say. Doesn't it give YOU a great deal
of thought and troubleY' "Oh, no." was
the reply. Its mere matter of habit.
My sermons have never kept me awake
five minutes"
"Ah" said the other, "that, then, is
probably the reason why they don't keep
other people awake either" The ensuing
silence was both chilling and embarrass-
ing. Some people never know when it is
inadvisable to Joke.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01

New York Clipper
Though the denizens Of the Celestial
Empire prohibit all entertainments in
which human beings may be injured,
they have no objection to fights in which
the participants are animals. Religious
persons, especially strict Buddhists who
believe in the transmigration of souls,are
strong opponents of these sports, but the
young men in China patronize them ex-
tensively. In every great city such as
Canton, Foo Chow, and Ke-Lung there
are hundreds OF sporting men who make
their livelihood from these events.
Fighting turtles are of two classes,
either the mHd or swapping turtle They
are caught and regularly trained. They
are fed with raw meat and drug that
corresponds with the "loco" of Texas. In
six months the turtle becomes savage
and ugly, and will fight and bite on the
smallest provocation.
To increase its bellicose powers, the
jaws and teeth are carefully filled and
49,, INTO : series Of razor, and needles
~ :. -, -
Each day Its trainer leases II with cotton
and wood until II Is excited into per-
feet frenzy and bites the training in
struments into small fragments. Six
months, tr.;r;nc puts IL in good fightino
49, -: 'e
condiuop.
Young and old turtles are vaiueless. A
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
The Art Of Paper Making
TROY Times.I

1t is claimed that England and France
can make better grade of fine papers
than this country on account of the
quality of the water, which is here in
jured for paper making by frequent
changes in temperature.
Acting upon the idea. experiments
are about to be made in Florida, where
the temperature is more equal. If sue.
cessfu!, it is said large mill, especially
for the manufacture of finer grades of
stock, will be built there by Massachu.
sets capitalists.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
why the Editor II Always Good.
Looking.

An observing philosopher contradicts
the prevailing theory that mental activ-
ity interferes with physical beauty. He
says:
A handsome man or woman either
who does nothing but live well or self.
indulgently grows iabby, and all the fine
lines of the features are lost; but the
hard thinker has an admirable sculptor
always at work keeping his fine lines 10
repair and constantly going over his face
to improve the original design.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
A ColIect.on.Delivery Young Man.
IHartwell (Ga.l sun.

A fashionable young man Of this beau
tiful village, who is. of very economi-
cal turn, has the habit when be sends q
note to bis girl of adding this postscript;
"Give negro boy biscuit for carrying
this noue."
Recently the young lady promptly
sent the young man quite number OF
biscuits, informing him that he could
henceforth prepay postage, and when the
rations were exhausted to draw on heI
for more. A cold wave now blows be-
tween that young lady and her collect
on-delivery young man.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01

The Bank of France, it is said, has an
invisible studio in gallery behind the
cashiers, SO that at signal from one of
them any suspected customer will in
stantly have his picture taken without
his own knowledge.
The camera has also become very use
full in the detection of frauds, word or
figure that TO the eye seemed completely
erased, being clearly reproduced in pho
togrsphs of the document that had been
tampcred with.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
He Couldn't Either.
Detroit Free Press.l

A gentleman who drove up to the
Postofice yesterday and found no place
to hitch his horse called to boot black
and asked il he didn't want to earn a
nickel.
Cant do 1t just now, replied the lad;
"rm going up the alley to see a smuggling
match"
Close at his heels was second boy,
and the gentleman addressed him with
the same inquiry.
"Oh, / couldn't stop a minute" pro-
tested the gamin, ''fur I'm one OF the
sluggers he's going to see slugl"
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
Make Up Your Mind.
boston Transcript

I11OStOL IIaIIStIITlt-I
Make up your mind to thing, and it
is more than half done. For instance,
John went to bed, but because he
couldn't make up his mind whether he
would get up at 6 o'clock or not next
morning, he did not rest well at all.
Charles, on the contrary, made up his
mind, upon retiring, that he would arise
at sharp. Consequently he went to
sleep Immediately his head touched the
pillow, and he slept like a log all through
the night and until o'clock next morn
ing. Oh, mol there's nothing like making
mn ones mind
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
Matrimonial.


The following advertisement appeared
in foreign paper under the above head
ing: WANTED, wife for my papa. He
is five feet seven inches in height, is fair
eomplexioned, with dark eyes, has all his
front teeth and Roman nose, and dress
es in the height of fashion. i promise
good treatment to my future step-motber
If she suits me. Young ladies (or
widows) with means, but without chill
dren, will please address Miss y, Post
office -
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01
What a Woman Can De,

As wife and mother, woman car
make the fortune and happiness of bel
husband and children; and, if she did
nothing else, surely this would be suff
cient destiny. By her thrift, prudence
and tact, she can secure to her partner
and to herself a competence in old age
no matter how small their beginning OF
how adverse a fate may be theirs.
By her cheerfulness she can restore
her husbands spirit, shaken by the
anxiety of business. By her tender care
she can often restore him to health, il
disease has Overtasked his powers. BY
her counsel and love she can win him
from bad company, if temptation in an
evil hour has led him astrav.
BY her examples, her precepts, and
her sex's insight into character, she can
mould her children, however adverse
their dispositions, into noble men and
women. And, by leading in all things a
true and beautiful life, she can refine,
elevate, and spiritualize all who come
within reach; so that, with others of her
sex emulating and assisting her, she can
do more to regenerate the world than
all the statesmen or reformers that ever
legislated.
She can do much, alas! perhaps more,
to degrade man if she choose to do it.
Who can estimate the evil that woman
has the power to do! As wife she can
ruin herself by extravaganza, folly, or
want of affection. She can make de-
mon or an outcast of a man who might
otherwise become good member of So
ciety.
She can bring pickering, strife, and
discord into what had been a happy
home She can change the innocent
babes into vile men, and even vile WON.
en-.
She can lower the moral tone of 50.
ciety itself, and thus pollute legislation
at the spring head. She can, in fine, be-
come an instrument of evil instead of an
angel of good.
Instead of making flowers of truth,
purity, beauty, and spirituality spring
up in her footsteps, till the earth smiles
with loveliness that is almost celestial,
she can transform it to black and arid
desert, covered with the scorn of all evil
passion and swept by the bitter blast of
everlasting death. This is what woman
can do for the wrong as well as for the
right. Is her mission little one? Has
she no worthy work, as has become the
cry of late? Man may have a harder
task to perform, a rougher road to trav-
ell, but he has none loftier or more infu.
entail than wOman's.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-03-01

Just as Juliet touched the last chords
of whatever she was playing, Romeo
stole gently to her side and they both
managed on one piano stool no bigger
than an opera hat. :, :, -,
That's sonata" she said timidly
looking at her music. ;.
"Ah, yes" said Romeo, who isn't
much of a musician, but who Is going
to play his father-in-law for all ne is
worth. "Ah, yes; sonata, but 90 nice"