Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-12-31
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS.
Biu Nye Finds Further Hisfortuaes To,
the Late Diseoverer.


Kew York Mcrcury.l
Probably few people have been more suc-
cessful in tha discovering line than Chris
tOpher Columbus Living. "a be did in a
day wnen great many things Were still in
an undiscovered state the horizon was filed
with golden opportunities for man pos
sessed of Mr. C.s pluck and ambition His
life at first was filed with rebuffs and disap-
pointments, hut AT last be grew 20 be a man
Of importance in his own profession. and
people who wanted anything discovered
would always bring il 70 him rather than
take il elsewhere.
And vet the life Of Columbus was stormy
one. Though he discovered continent
wherein millionaire attracts no attention,
he himself was very poor. Though he res
cued from harbarism "a broad and beautiful
land in whose metropolis the theft Of less
than $4,000 is regarded a. petty larceny,
Chris himself often went TO bed hungry. Is
il not singular that the grsy-eyed and gentle
Columbus should have added hemisphere
10 the history of our globe a hemisphere. too,
where pie j. common thing, not only on
I Sunday. but throughout the week, and yet
that be should have gone down 10 his grave
/ pieless,
I Such j. the history of progress in all ages
and in all lines Of thought and investigation.
/ Such Is the meager reward Of the pioneer in
4 new fields OF action. Ipresume that America
/ to-day has larger pie area than any other
/ land in which the cockney English language
! is spoken. Right here, where millions of
/ native-born Americans dwell many of whom
are ashamed of the fact that they were born
/ here. and which shame i entirely mutual be
/ tween the Goddess Of Liberty and themselves,
/ we have a style of pie that no other land can
/ boast Of.
! From the bleak and acid dried apple pie Of
Maine TO the irrigated mince pie Of the blue
\ Pacific. all along down the long lire Of
\ igneous. volcanic and stratified pie America,
the land Of the freedom bird with the high
/ instep 10 his nose. leads the world.
Other lands may point with undissembled
pride 10 their polygamy and their cholera,
but we reck not. Our pOlygamy here Is still
in its infancy and our leprosy has had the
disadvantage Of a cold. backward spring; but
look at our pie.
Throughout a long and disastrous war,
/ sometimes referred TO as a fratricidal war,
during which this fair land was drenched in
| blood. and also during which aforesaid war
numerous frightful hlunders were made
which are fast coming to the surface
through the courtesy Of participant,
/ in said war who have patiently
waited for those who blundered to die off
and now admit that those participants who
are dead did blunder exceedingly throughout
al this long and deadly struggle for the
supremacy cf liberty and right-as | was
about 70 say when my mind began 10 wobble
the American pie has shown forth resplendent
in the full glare Of MONDAY sun or beneath
the pale green of the electric light. and she
stands forth proudly to-day with her undyine
loyalty 70 dyspepsia untrammeled and hei
deep and deadly gastric antipathy still iiercely
burning in her breast.
That Is the proud history # American pie
Powers. principalities. kingdoms and hand
made dynasties may cTunble, but the repub
hcan form Of pie does not crumble. Tyranny
may totter on its throne, but tie American
pie does not totter. Not a to-. No foreign
threat has ever been able 70 make our com
mon chicken pie quail. ] DO not say thh
because il = smart: / simply say il 70 iill up
But would il not do Columbus good Z
come among us to-day and look over oui
free institutionsi Would il not please him
10 ride over this continent which has beer
rescued by his presence of mind from The
thraldom 81 barharism and forked over e
the genia AMI refining influences of prohib
ition and PIE: