The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1885-1888, 1885-08-21
OLD DUMPS.

They used TO make fun of him at
the office. He was queer old fellow,
with solemn face and what we
thought ridiculously polite way. He'd
take off his hat when he came in and
say:
Good morning, gentlemen. trust
| see you all in good health this fine
day" And some of the boys would
grin, and some would nod-and some
wouldn't do anything; but | never could
help standing up and bowling, perhaps
because that knew that my mother
would have said | ought to do IL.
To be sure, he was only on salary
like ourselves, but had been at Rock
d Burton's twenty five years, and
young fellows had come and gone, and
there he was. And it was gentlemanly
of him, said; and even if he was u
little snuif-colorcd creature with n
queer little wig, why, he looked and
could bow like gentleman, too.
! said so once to Mcrrivale, next desk
to mine; but-wcll, | didn't try it
again. You see, Mcrrivalc was up to
everything, dressed elegantly, sncercd
at everything almost, and I'd come
from Il country town and he was a city
man.
Nobody was down on cold Dumps"
as he was called, especially after he
made us that speech about our conduct
to the ladies. Dumps made the speech,
you know, and it was Mcrrivalc who
said the lady only came in to look at
him. I'm sure she really wanted to
know the way to the street she asked
| for, and how she colorcd and hurried
out And Dumps, with his brown
wig and stiff ways, looked to me like
the gentleman that day, and Merrivalc,
with his fine curling hair and black
mustaChe and broad shoulders. like the
"rhc man who callsa blush to the check
| of good woman by look or tone
must have forgotten his mother" said
Old Dumps when that lady asked you
civil question she relied on her belief
that you were Il gentleman, Mr.. Merri-
vale. When you answered her as you
did, and spoke of her as you did, any
one could read your insulting thoughts,
Mr.. Mcrrivale, and you did not even
rise from your seat, sir. You proved
that she was very much mistaken"
Mean to say that am no gentle
mani" said Mcrrivalc
'In this instance, sir said Old
Dumps, you certainly have not con
Quoted yourself rs one should"
Merrivalc pulled his coat halfway Off
and pulled it on again.
"Pshaw - he said, "hc knows he IS
safe. Therc'd be no fun in knocking
down an old bag of bones like that
| could do il with my little finger. But
you attend to your own business, will
you, Old Dumps? | can behave my
self without your advice, and that ain t
the first woman that's come in just for
sort Of Irritation. I'm used to just
that sort of thing, | am"
"NIr. Dumps is right this time, "
"Bah" said Mcrrivalc. you're
from the country"
"Thank God for 1t, then, my young
friend" said Dumps and sat down.
After that Mcrrivalc was never even
halfway civil to Dumps, and the boys
followed Mcrrivalc's lead. But liked
the old fellow. When we met in the
street I'd take off my hat and shake
hands and say some of those polite
things that mother used to teach me to
say.
Who were the boys? Why, there
was Merrivalc, with his darling airs and
his way of letting you know that he
was favorite with the women,
And Carberry, who didn't care about
style, but knew the city.
And Grab, who was hard and shrcwd
and smart, and had stocks of his owl
already.
And Slower, who used to come with
red eyes and headaches and boast thai
he ID been making night of it.
] was lonely enough in the great city
and / should have liked to have ioincu
company with Dumps and walked home
with him from church sometimes, bu
/ was afraid of meeting one of the boys
and never did But would bow Il
him, and we took our hats of TO cacl
other always.
| had written to my mother that
was doing well and liked my bust
ness, and would be down to see he
on Sunday, when | was sent for to %
into the inner Office and there
can't 20 through with i'll can even
remember details but | was charge,
with being Il thief,
You'd have to understand our par
ticular business, MS well rs ook-kccp
ing TO know how | was supposed /,
have done il but they believed ! hal
robbed them of 800.
They urged me to confess. was in
noccnt, and | said so. Then they tolC
me that they did not wish to be hard ol
me. was young. The city was
bad place for boys They would b
mcrcitul and only dismiss me. Onl
dismiss me without recommendation
All | could say had no effect The
had proved me guilty before they nc
cused me- they said; and at last | stag
gcrcd out into the Office. The boy
were getting ready to go home, 81,
they knew what had happened
None of you believe this of me?
said l. None of you who know mey
"And Mcrriyalc said; Look here
Forester, you're very lucky to get o
so.
And Carberry said; "Now, CONT
we know too much to be fooled, 1t
always your slyboOts of Il good youn
man that does these sort of things
And Grab said: 81 say, Forester
don't talk too much; you'll give youscl
away"
And Slower said; ooh, 90 take
glass of brandy and water, and don't 2
) on like girl about 1t ~
And what with shame and rage an
grief, could have died, when out {
his duslly corner came little old Dump
in his little snuti-colored ovcrcoat, an
held out his hand.
Mr., Forester" he said, "I'N