Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-10-15
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE Is Thistle Curling Society in Allie
gheny; but what theJ want thistles curled for
we don't understand ~ ittsburG Chronicle.
BOSTON MAN has invented a sash-li
for use on steamers. II 1t works he ought to
have heavy royalties and a gold medal
LolceU Courier.
FIRST FEMALE-"what are you engaged IN
nowY" Second femac-"I am a book agent"
F.F.-"What have you to dor" ). f. Moth
ing but talk" F.F.-"How delightful n'-
Boston Courier.
"ONCE HIT, Twice shy" Guest taking
keeper aside)-"Look here, Smithers gives
half scowl), put me out o. gunshot of the
Squire. He does shoot 50 precious wild, and
my nerve isn't what II used TO be!'-LOnd04I
Punch.
A LOWELL MERCHANT is quite as frank as
the Boston restaurant keeper, who advertised
''steak Goughl Is cents The Lowell man
has sign in front OF his store which SAYS:
Don't 20 somewhere else to be sWinded:
walk in here. "-LOtosN Times.
did A WOMAN ever clean up a rented house
when she moved out OF it?' asks Texas SiJt-
ings. And if she did, did another woman ever
move IN without declaring that the house was
''perfect mess and immedi ately proceed to
give II another thorough cieaning?-Norris-
tOten Herald.
He WAS In NO DAHGKR Dear me. how
they are pitching into Wise, of Virginy % said
Mr.. Noodle, looking over the top of his news
paper. I'D hate to be him." "Who?" asked
Mrs. Noodle. "Why, Wise" 'No danger,
Mr.. Noodle" SAID she, resuming her knitting.
-ChicaGo NeaOs.
WE SEE that bizarre building in Chicago
Is TO be decorated with llfe-size griffins in
terra Gotta" That is like Chicago In no
other city in the world would an architect
profess to know what is life size" for an
imaginary creature which never lived at all
-BUFdtO E9Dress.
A DESIRABLE LOCALITY: Harlem landlord
"Instead Of an objection YOU will find the polo
grounds a decided ADVANTAGE"
House seeker-"How an advantage"
LandlOrd-"In case Of any trouble, YOU
know, you can always lay your hand on a
policeman" --Ne1o York Sun.
ToURIsT-oT thought some extensive i'm
proYements in Central Park had been pro-
jected." Proud New Yorker-"rhats so
they were; on m ct magnificent scale"
Out?" NatIve-"Oh, the rest of the country
wouldn't subscribe the money" -Brooklyis
EdgLe.
PUBLIC SALE in New York last week.
$3.50 was paid for a CdttleVG CYIriDediulp Nor
glniGTasn~ II was PROBABLY purchased for
Barnum. to take the place ofJumbo. Chill
dren should not be permitted to ride on its
back until itbecomes thoroughly docile. p. s.
We ave since learned that Cdttleud CyD-
riDedfum AorgdntdrUnl is simply a flower Of
the orchid variety.-NoTr'St0tta Herald
'MR. DUsENBERRY, do not see why you 20
to the public garden so often"
For the sake OF the music, my dear, The
orchestra is one of the finest in the country,
| l sit there and drink in the delicious strains.
| A rhapsody fills up"
"Oh fudge. The way your breath smells on
| your return makes me believe that you drink
in something good deal stronger than music
1t isn't rhapsody that fills you up; it's BEER
--PhtLddelpAta Call.
| EvANsvII LIE has a most delightful climate.
! and is noted for its bed bugs. An old lady
| residing here requires her granddaughter a
| high school miss, TO read 10 her daily some
/ portion of the Revised Edition. While so en- :
| gagged recently the young lady stopped sud
/ denly and exclaimed:
why, grandma, declare here is gram
/ matical error"
The old lady replied: "No matter, darling
| Kill il and go ahead. "--Ar0tIs.
COUNT D'EsTANG Din despair)--"s are, am
! ruin. have been-vat you call-swindle. /
| loan compatriot all my money and he give
| his note. II is no good, ana my compatriot he
| is-vat you call-bOgus. Vet shall dog'
| Heartless hotel-clerk-"f am very, very
sorry. Count. There is only one thing for you
| to do now"
"vat is that? All. sare, your kindness is too
mooeh. Vat do y,u adviser"
Hire yourself out rs French fiat."-PhiI-
adslphiG CdH.