davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
1rue to Nature.
fExchanRe,l

An aged Lansing (Mich.) couple lately
watched the quarrel between Glenn and
Martha in the "White Slave" with intense
interest, and when the negro intimated that
It was impossible to live with any woman
forty years without row. the old gentle
man nudged his aged companion in the ribs
and exclaimed in an eager whisper that was
audible to the smiling circle
within distance Of twenty feet: "There,
there, mother, what did tell your
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

Custom compels an Icelander in his native
Island to kiss every woman he meets "Now
we understand says The Oil City Derrick,
"why the men Of Iceland never emigrate.
And now, having seen portraits Of Iceland
woman, we marvel more than ever why the
men Of that C untry don't emgrate.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
Not sumcIent Preparation.

A man Of middle age entered the office OF
an evening paper recently to seek employ.
ment. "What can you dor asked the city
editor write leading articles" Next
room, please" and the city man resumed
work on pile of copy. "What can you dor
asked the editor-in-chief "Write leading
articles" "Did you ever work on news.
paper beforel' "No," said the applicant,
contemptuously; "but sure I'm readin' 'em
since was the height Of your Knee" "rm
wearing boots since was 4, and can't make
a pair" said the editor Applicant disap
pears.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
French Novel Writers.


when am correcting the proofs of my
writings" said the late NJ Edmond About
'if ! come to q sentence, or even word,
which should not like my daughter to read,
] at once strike 1t out" The elder Dumas
used To maintain that some of his works were
tit reading for his wife. but not for his
lauyh tars
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

the scenery-The Conductor.
New York Cor. Inter Ocean.
have just had sight Of performance
of "Patience" from the rear 1t did not
seem to me that the time-worn opera could
afford any entertainment to person in the
auditorium, but l was mistaken as to that,
for the Casino-full Of people-were almost
as demonstrative as though they had never
seen the piece before, 1t was their facial
aspect that first struck me, ON peeping at
them through hole in the scenery Some
body ought to photograph an audience, by
an instantaneous process, in the midst OF
general laughter. The picture would be I'm
mensely funny. II mirror could be flashed
In front of you at the instant that the
comedian of farce does something to make
YOU roar it isn't likely that YOU would
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
IN LONDON RESTAURANTS
Too Much "Grill," Not Enough Buck
wheat Cakes, and Pies, and Things

London Cor Chicago Tribune.
That long promised American hotel, like
the millennium, Is still not forthcoming.
What blessing 1t would be to have bill
embracing all charges under one head, and
table d'hots for two square meals day
a breakfast and dinner taken in Chris
tian-iike mannsrl Those who live at the
usual hotel get awfully tired Of the table
d'hote dinner, in which there Is very little
change, and 20 out wandering around to
some OF those numberless restaurants, The
only variety at hotel dinner day after day
is slight change In the way the hare Is
cooked. At the restaurants II Is the eternal
"grill"-a grilled chop, grilled steak; grilled
.--::; md you get as tired Of the grill as Of
the haTe.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
A London POlicelnan's Patience.
IL Iondnp Cor nnYaIo Exproas 1

As was on my way to my hotel had
a chance to see how London policemen han.
die drunken men. The drunken man, a hale
and we'll fed Englishman, was lying in
doorway, on his back with both feet and
legs founderi in the air, as IL trying to
kick at some imaginary object At the same
time he was shouting Justify. Along came
Mr.. Officer. Instead of applying the locust
at once he asked the drunken fellow in a
very kind way whether he did not think 1t
best to gather himself up and try to walk
oil. Upon which the fellow very saucily
told the officer he considered himself fully
- good In every respect as the officer
This did not agsravate the officer, but he
kept ON advising him to try his level BEST to
get up and walk, to which he answered he
would not SO much as undertake such a
thing. After which the officer, after good
deal Of useless coaxing, proceeded as fond
mother docs when she picks up child which
has fallen on the floor. He carefully grasped
him under both arms and lifted him up
bodily. As left the officer was tapping the
fellow on the shoulder and patting him
under the chin, telling him to be good and to
60 homo II he could
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
Reasoning by Analogy.
tphIIad fall

TFHHHue1pnIH CAlII
Mr.. Winks-I see they are finding now
relics Of the mound builders every day.
Mrs. Winks-What is the latestl
Mr. Winks-The paper says: "An
earthen pot discovered by workmen at Egg
Hsrbor, and supposed to be remnant OF
mound builders, had grease and finger
marks upon It's brim.'
Mrs. Wink,-Why, the mound builders
kept servant girls, didn't theyl
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

Ministers need no longer preach against
roller skating. The rink has had is day,
and its new rival, the toboggan slide, will
ruin the roller skate trade. Tobogganing Is
tie sport Of tho future, and IL viii be useless
for any man to resist it.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

lSt Louis Post Dispatchl
The American is not wine drinker simply
because he hnda whisky handler and more
effective.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

Prince Lubomirsky won slD, 00o at Monte
Carlo one night lat week. 1t was won at
the trents ct quarante table, the prince
making the highest allowable bets fre-
quently.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

lbOston Journal
sFathsr," said the heir, "your aunt Hannah
Is my great aunt, amt she"
"Yes, l suppose she is. Johnnie"
"And because she weighs 220 pounds does
that make her my great aunt, alsoi'
"No--thst is--ye-es suppose So"
"Wsll, to-day asked her for . cents to
buy pea shooter with and she wouldn't let
me have it and think she is great aunt,
don't you, fatherP
But the old man refused to answer. He
only had one little pair, anyway, and he
knew that three OF kind woul1 scoop that.
1t Is boy like this that arrows up AMI goes
to congress and have paughterl scattered
through their ready-print speeches in The
Record
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
Arkansaw Traveller: Use 'spicious o. de
pusson whut hol's my hand whin he Is
greetin' me. 1t peers ter me dat he's or
putin on ies' or little mo- den he feels.
At q Silver Wedding.


lCinclnnah Enquirer
Not long ago--at loast, not so long ago
that the occurrence has been forgotten
there was silver wedding In the west end.
Smith was neighbor Of the estlmable
celebrants, but he had not been included In
the invitation lists. That made no difference
to him. He was of neghborly disposition,
and, being moved by spirit Of kindness and
few drinks, he dropped in upon the festive
assemblage
Mine host and hostess were adopts at
entertainments, and they bade Smith vel
come. They gave him a seat at the banquet
table, and as the wine flowed freely they
were surprised to rec their unbidden guest
rise to his feet and clear his throat.
Ladies' and gentlemen" he said, 'I came
here tonight because l like Mr.. Jones'
like Mr.. aud Mrs. Jones, because they have
got pretty daugters"
"Hear! heart" laughed the merry y-makers
"Yes, and like Mr.. Jones cause he's got
such pretty wife"
There was more laughter.
"And I'll like Mrs. Jones great deal bet
ter when she's widow"
Poor old Jones sat there and took this all
in. As for Smith, when he got soter nobody
ever told him of the spectacle he made OF
himself, and he still lives on in blissful ig-
norance of his conduct
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

New Orleans Picayune: One good com,
bination dog, II kept in an alley way be-
tween yards, can do the barking for two
houses at night
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
A Wise Parent
Philadelphia Call

Young Algernon Gn love with Miss Do
Blsnk) Il called, sir, at your daughters
suggsstiOr to ask Of you vsrv great favor.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
VIEWED FRoM THE REAR.

Chinese garden-truck dealers have driven
all other vegetable dealers from the Tucson
market.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
Why Women Write Poetry.


In reply to the question, "Why do womer
write verses" an old soldier says: because
not having been In the battle OF Shiloh,
they cannot write their version OF the con-
.iiet y
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

notice 1t don't always do TO Judge by ap-
pearances. The attitude OF pray or is also The
attitude Of peepiny through knothole
Art Appreciation.
lIiarper's Magazine.l
A prominent merchant Of one Of our
western cities, who counts his doll ars seven
figures, but who, In the ardent pursuit Of
wealth, has neglected such frivolities as
literature and art, was recently visiting
Boston with his family, and seeing the sights
Of "The Hub" In the course OF his wander.
ings he entered the Museum Of Fine Arts,
and after gazing superciliously around at
the contents thereof, his attention finally
rested upon some fine paintings by Gustave
Dore, which were at the time the pride of
the city. These seemed to interest him, for,
turning to his guide, he said, "G. Dorsi G..
Dorei are these by q. Doref'
On receiving an affirmative reponss, he
continued. ut seems to me that he has i'm
proved greatly Of late, hasn't her
The guide, remembering that the artist
had been dead some time, struggled while
with the desire to be truthful, but delighted
that the great man had found something to
interest him, finally doubtfully answered
that perhaps he had.
Then the westerner called his son TO him
"John, you see those pictures by @. Dore
Yes, 1t certainly seems to me he has i'm
proved very much. G. Dorel g. Dorei
Why he painted our house in Chicago!"
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
Income from Condensed Milk.

Gen. Borden patented the process for oon-
densing milk. The royalty on this patent
has produced an immense fortune. and now
yields an income OF about $4,000 year.
The Bordens, nephews perhaps of the dead
inventor, are large cattle owners in Texas
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26

BY means Of ropes and pulleys Detroit
man, upon retiring at night, draws his bed
up to the ceiling in order to get the greatest
benefit of the warmth that comes from his
little stove.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-26
Judging by Appearances. A
lSt. Paul Herald

TSI. THUI HtTuIu.T
1notice it don't always do to judge by ap-
rearances. The attitude of prayer is also .bs
attitude OF peepiny through q knothole.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04
GIVEN AWAY FOR ONE YEAR.

We want 100000 subscribers be-
fore May 1st, 1885, to our large H.
ustrated publication, THE SUN
SHINE MAGAZINE. In order to get
the above number Of subscribers
We must give away subscriptions
the first year. aud the second year
we will make up the loss as most of
them will subscribe again, paying
our regular price. Send twelve two
cent stamps to pay postage and you
will have the above Magazine to
read every week for one whole year.
Ifyou accept the above offer, we
expect you will be kind enough to
distribute among your friends, a
few small books containing our adj
vertisements and 167 of the best
household receipts, for which we
will make you present of u hand
some, silverplated, tiverbottle CAS-
TER, ora pair of ROLLER
SKATES. State how many books
You can give away for us, and we
will send the books and Faster
Tor Skates) prepaid. Order for
your friend also, and you will re-
ceive both presents. Address
SUNSHINE MAGAZINE Co., Fill
more, n. Y.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04
General Lees Sword.

General Early is out in a letter
rebutting the foolish statement
that General Grant returned to it's
owner the sword that General Lee
rendered him at Appomatt0X, in
token Of his submission. He cites
IL statement of DR.. Jones, as follows:
sin a convcrs alton with number
of friends of whom he was one, Gen
eral Lee said that before going to
meet Grant, he left order with Long
street and Gordon to hold their com.
mands in readiness, as he was de-
termined TO cut his way through OF
perish in the attempt, if such terms
we're not granted as he thought his
army entitled to demand" And
then adds for himself the following:
''In the last and only interview l
had with Gen. Lee after the war,
which was in the spring of 1869,
when he talked very freely to me
in regard to the circumstances at
tending ..lissurrender, he reiterated
in the most emphatic manner the
sta tement which DR.. Jones gives"
And here is q filrthur statement
from DR.. Jones, that will he read
with interest:
"General Lee said that when he
met General Grant they exchang-
ed polite salutations, and he stated
to him at once that lie desired a
conference in reference to the sub
ject matter OF their correspondence.
General Grant returned You your
sword, did he not, Generalg one of
tile company asked. The old hero,
Strengthening himselfup, replied in
most emphatic tones: No, sir! he
did not. He had no opportunity of
doing so. ] was determined that
the side arms of officers should be
exempt by terms of surrender, and
of course did not offer mine. All
that said alb nut swords was that
General Grant apologized to me for
not wearing his own sword, sayinv
that it had gone off in his baggage,
and he had been unable to get it in
tine.n
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04
NEARING THE END.
All Hopes of General Grants Living
Given Up.

NEW YORK, April1.-At 5o'clock
this morning Harrison,Gen. Grants
valet, drove in haste for Rev. Dr.
Newman, and DR.. Shrady, by call,
hurried to the Generals residence.
DIR. Newman says that General
Grants condition is serious, and
that it is believed the worst is near.
at 10 A. M.-Autlentic informal
ton at this hour is to the effect that
General Graz t is failing fast, and
t at it is only a question of houls
uutil the end is reached. He is
gradually sinking, but is not
suffering pam.
At 9:4J O'clock this morning Rev.
DR.. Newman left General GRANTS
house. He WAS met by several re-
port"rs and said: "rhe General
solemnly realizes he fact of his pio-
lon.c,l suffering, Tut the strength of
his intellect AMI the calmncSS and
serenity of his mind are wonderful"
y visitor who left The House at
10 o'clock said that General had
rallied and w;lS CONSCIOUS and com
posed.
AT o O'Clock ex-senator Oh ltlre
lett General Grant. He says that
the General is growing weaker.
His throat is thickening, but The
main trouble is with The heart. The
doctor says lir luay die ut amy time.
Senator Chatlee states that the sud
den weakness of General Grant this
morning WAS the result Of affection
of the heart. 1t is understood now
(lO:45 a. Nj. that the General has
ruyllely lost the power OF 81 cech.
At 1880 A. NJ. it WAS stated that
Gen. Grant waS sitting up and feel
lns better. a CONSULTATION Will he
hlt,l Il. = p. NJ.
ll:4D A.M-Gcncral Grant is still
alive, but sinking fast.
AT l22::22j p. NJ. Gen. Bhdeau left
Gen. Grants house to send Il pri-
waite message from the telegraph
office. While there he SAID that
Gen. Grant WAS very low, and was
sinking rapidly, that he may die II
an hour, and may live three or four
days.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04
$1,000 Bible Reward.

The publishers of RUTLEDGE's
MONTHLY offer twelve valuable re
wards in their MONTHLY for April
among which is the following:
We will give $4,000 to the person
telling MS in what book and chapter
the shortest verse is to be found in
the New Testament Scriptures mot
the Revised edition,) by april 10th,
1885. Should two or more correct
answers be received, the REwARI,
will be divided. The money will be
forwarded to the winner April 18th,
1855. Persons trying for the re-
ward must send 20 cents in silver
or postal notes, (no postage stamps
taken) with their answer, for Which
they will receive the MONTHLY for
May, in which the name aid adj
dress of the winner Of the reward
and the correct answer will be pub
lished, and in which several more
valuable rewards will be offered.
Address RUTLEDGE PUBLISHING
COMPANY EaSton, Pa.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04

The death Of General Grant,
which is hourly expected, will eX-
cite the universal sympathy of the
people in every section of our coun,
try. In this hour OF his calamity,
whatever sins lie may have COM
united against the South as PreSi
dent are so overshadOwed by his
magnanimous conduct to Lee and
his comrades, as to be forgotten
The Southern people of course have
not for him the affectionate love
and veneration, which the people
Of the North have, but they are
none the less sincere in their SYM
pathy for him i'll his Affections, and
would rejoice if it were possible
for him to be relieved of them.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04
PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATIONS.
Liberal Recognition of the South.

The President has sent the follow
ing nominations to the Senate Of
citizens Of the South:
To be ENJOYS extraordinary and
minister's plenipotentiary Of the
United States: Thomas j. jarvis.
of North Carolina, to Brazil; Alex
ander Il. Lawton, of Georgia, to
Russia; Anthony NJ. Kelley, of Viz
gini;l, to Italy.
To be consul general of the Uni
ted States Frederick Ritinc,of Mary
land, at Berlin:
To he consul ofthe United States
Evan p. Howell: of Georgia, Ut Man.
chester, England.
Gen. joseph L. } nhnston, of Vir-
ginia, to be commissioner of rail
roads.
David Settle, of North Carolina,
to be marshal of the United States
for the western district Of North
Carolina.
To be collectors of internal reve-
nue.: Nathan Gregg, of Tennessee,
for the second district of Tennessee;
Isham G. Searcy, of Texas, for the
third district of Texas.
Clement Dowd, of North Caro-
lima, to be collector OF internal rev.
enue, sixth district OF North Caro-
lima.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04

New York, philadelphia K Norfolk Railroad En-.
press -Loave Philadelphia s.dc \. in., weekdays
and II 10 y. M, daily. Lenye Baltimore 6.20n. IN.
735 y. M, llmington $40 q. M, week days, and
II. IS y. M, daily. stopping at Dover and Delmar
regularly;and at Middletuwr Clayton. Harrington
and Sea:Ord to leave passengers from Wilmington
and points North or take OH passenSers for Del
mar.
Nortil.bound-Tralns leave Delmar 1914 a. m.
and 400 y. H., weekdays. Dover 1.56a m, and
SIS r. M arriving Wilmington $40 4 nj. AMI 625
H. M, baltimore GAS IL. III. and 9.O5 p. m, and
Philadelphia 100 Il. IN. and ITO p. m. -.
New Castle accommodation Trains-Lcave VIII
mIngton at G ID a. m. and 80 p. M. Lsnvo No"
Castle at II 25 q. III. and So p. M
Smyrna Branch Trains--Leave smyrna lor
Clay,on 7 %, s ~, 50, and II 05 a. m, ~, l5
44oand7 So D. m. Leave Clayton for Smyrna
734S 81 10 o. III 16 am.,1 55,4 26. So and sap M
Connection-At Porter. with Newark Della.
ware City Railroad. Al Townsend. With Queen
Anne's Il Kent Railroad. Al Clayton, with Della
ware Chesapeake Iuilroad and Baltimore ana
Delaware Bay Railroad. AT Harrington, with
Delaware. Maryland X Firgini. RAILROAD. AL
seHford, with Cambridge Seaford Railroad At
Delnlar, with New:York, Philadelphia X Norfolk,
wicomico 4 Pocnmoke, and Peninsula Railroads.
CHAS. Z. PUGH, General Manager.
J.R. Wood 6ensral passenger Agent.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04

Malone, it is said, called upon
the President a few days ago and
the doolkeeper reported that he
was engaged. He may have been
tut it lisa little significant that no
other Virginian has yet called who
has rot been admitted. Has the
womanlyruse Of "being engaged" or
'out" already been adopted by our
President to rid himself of disa-
greeabIe callers? Perhaps not, but
it looks as il SO important a per-
sonage as a Senator from Virginia
should have leen treated with
mole consideration by the door
keeper than the Boss was. Under
OTHER circumstances, the Boss
would probably have considered
it impeltil ent to be denied the in
terview, whatever may have been
tile engagements Of the President,
but now realizing that the days of
bargaining are over, he doubtless
felt that the rage of little politi-
clan like him, could not avail much.
a card with the name thereon,
Malone, Virginia, is all that the
President so far, has to remind him
of the visit OF the Virginia outcast,
The President will doubtless retain
it, as reminder of his duty to vir-
ginia.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04

MIR. Henry G.. Pearson. Il Repnh-
lean has been appointed is succeed
himself. as postmaster of New York
and President Cleveland has ther-
by of course subjected himself To
the nnt:,vorable comments of a very
many good Democrats. The ap,
pointment. on the other hand. is
highly commended, by equally as
good Democrats and in much larg
er number, as Il proper recognition
of the Independent element, which
contributed so largely to his cleo
ton and because of PearSon'S pc
culiar fitness for the position, he
having qualified himself by contn-
nous service OF twenty-five years to
discharge the multiiarous duties OF
the position rs very few men, II
any. by reason of want Of the
same experience, could. tits prob
able, too, that local preferences for
Pearson, in which, men without re.
gard to party seem to have joined
in petitions TO the President con
tributed largely TO influence him
in the matter. but, whatever the
cause may have been, which guild
ed him in his action, the South vii.
not be disposed to villify him tor
his departure from Democratic
presidents, in view of the numer-
Gus and excellent appointments he
has made in the South. The OH
ces to which Gen. JOS. Z. Johnston.
Hon. \. Nj. Kelley and other rep
rcsentative men Of the South have
been recently elevated by him
would 60 far to appeaSe our wrath,
if the sin he bad committed were
much greater. Because, too. of the
intimation he has given Of the
clean sweep lie would make of Ma,
hone officials, Virginians will not
be disposed to question he wisdom
Of his appointments in the North.
At all events, the acts Of Cleve-
land in the various positions he has
held heretofore, having proved acts
OF wisdom and having surrounded
himself as President by wise coun
sellers, who have at hearts the best
interests of every section Of our
country, we have an abiding faith
in him and them and believe every
thing will work together for good,
which emanatcs from them. We
may not altogether approve all
these acts now, but we are content
to wait the developments which
will demonstrate, whether the; are
fraught with good or evil to rs aud
our party.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1885-04-04
The diffel ence between a Demo.

The differ between Demo,
cratic and a Republican House of
Representatives is Illustrated in
he following: Forty-Seventh Con-
gress, House and Senate Republi-
can, appropriated s4S9,339,6S3.-
Forty-eighth Congress, House
Democratic, Senate Republican,
appropriated s31O,OG7,GS4. A dit
ference in favor Of the Democrat
ic House OF nearly s13o,000,0 00.-
State.