Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-14
BILL NYE,
To the President-E Elect.
The Incleside.


The IngleSde.
DEAR SIR-The painful duty of
turning overto you the administration
of these United States and the key to
the front door of the white house has
been assigned to me. You will find
the key hanging inside the storm
door and the cistern pole up stairs
in the hay-mow of the barn.
1t is expected that you will make
such changes in your cabinet and
other furnitures as you made see fit.
The asparagus bed, however, will
need little top dressing in the spring
and you can do as you see fit about
putting pillow shams on the pieplant
bed. In your attitude toward foreign
powers you will, of course, have yonr
own ideas, and suggestion from me
at this time would be entirely out of
place. Govern the people with
firm, yet gentle hand, and put lit
tie rat poison down in the cellar
where it will do the most good. /
have made a great many suggestions
to the outgoing administration rela-
tive to the transfer of the Indian
bureau from the department of the
interior to that of the sweet by and
by. The Indian, | may say, has
been great source Of annoyance to
me, several of their number having
jumped one ofmy most valuable min
ing claims of White river. Still |
do not complain of that. This mine
however, am convinced would be a
good paying property if properly
worked, and should you at any time
wish to take the regular army and
other help as you may need and re-
capture it from our red brother, 1
would be glad to give you a controll-
ing interest in it.
You will observe, on taking pos
sision of the administration, that the
navy is a little bitweather-beaten and
wormy. / would suggest that it be
newly painted in the spring. If it
had been my good fortune to receive
a majority of the suffiage of the peo-
pie for the Office which you now hold,
l should have painted the navy red.
Still, that need not influence you in
the course which you may see fit to
adopt.
You will find all papers in their
appropriate pigeon holes, and a small
jar of cucumber pickles down in the
cellar, which were left over, and tC
which you will be perfectly welcome
The asperities and heart-burnings
that were the immediate result of g
hot and unusually bitter campaign
are now all buried. Take these pick
les and use them as though they
were your own. You deserve them
We may differ politically, but tha
need not interfere With our warm
personal friendship.
You also find a ton of coal left over
and an old AK in the woOdshed, which
man from Ohio left with us to have
ground. OF course, you do not MAKE
business Of receiving presents, bu
you cannot refuse to receive these a
slight testimonial of regard ant
not in the nature of a bride.
There are many affairs of grea
moment which have not enumera
ted in this brief letter, because l fel
some little delicacy and timidit,
about appearing to be at all dictate
rial or officious about matter where
in the public might charge me wit
interference.
hope you will receive the foregC
ing in friendly spirit, and whateve
your convictions may be upon grea
questions of national interest, eithe
foreign or domestic, that you wi
not undertake to blow out the gas O
retiring, and that you will in othe
ways realize the fond anticipation
which are now ceerished on you
behalf by a mighty people who's
aggregated eye is now on to you.
BILL NYE.
P. S.-You will be little surpri
ed, no doubt, to find no soap in tt
laundry or bathrooms. 1t probabl
got into the campaign in some wa
and was absorbed. B. n.