davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
HUMOROUS.

Girls who wish TO have smafI.
prettily shaped mouths should repeat
ut frequent intervals during the day.
Fanny Finch fried five iloundering
fish of Francis Fowlcr's father"
Edith: "They sat in the cleaning"
means that they occupied one chair.
A cleaning may be obtained at any
fashionable furniture store. No,parlor
is complete without it. N y Mdh
'I say, Jim did your sister know
you at the masked ball last nightp"
'Well, / think she must have dono
SO. for when patted her on the shoul-
der she turned round and said You
donkey!'-- Chicago Journal.
When Mrs. Oleo, the boarding
house mistress, was told that the i'm
spector of provisions had seized 46S
pounds OF veal, '02 pounds Of poultry.
52 pounds OF bear meat, 81 lambs, six
barrels of peas and 200 boxes of herring,
she remarked: Pretty good appetite;
but nothing to some of my boarders-
You'd ought 10 see them when they
are good and hungry. IN y IndepeHd-
ent.
Heroic Remedy: "1 suppose I
shall be au old maid all my life, !" sighed
young woman oftwenty-fye. That's
grieyous complaint" responded an
old bachelor. Very" again sighed
the maiden. "Do you want TO cure
it?' "Of course do. o." Take me for
"A husband "Do you mean itp" Ger
tainly." "Well, desperate diseases re-
quire desperate remedies. and L guess
I'll try you" They fell upon each
others neck. Merchant Traveller.
There are some people who talk
without thinking Mrs. Beasly is that
sort Of woman Her husband one
night recently dropped a quarter. II
can't find that piece OF money Two
lost, " he said, cropping around on tho
hall floor. when Mrs. Beasly opened
the door. "Of course you can't, If YOU
look for IL out there in the dark. Why
don't YOU hunt for Il here I'm tho
light where you can see. Nobody can
iind anything out there In the dark. 49,
ErchdHge.
One OF the crack military companies
Of Houston was out one day last week
pracHcing target-shootine. One of tho
members was told TO shoot at the door
OF n deserted barn He did so. but
missed the entire barn The Captain
was very angry and told the young man
low bad 10 would be, i'm case the enemy
were shooting from behind the door.
that none Of them would bo hit "Ye5.
but wouldn't tho hostile enemies that
were coming around the corner Of tho
barn catch Gts" replied this Texas
Bngirdus 1Cro8 SDfiuqs
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Mark Twain Intends visiting Eu-
gland for the purpose OF giving readings
George Bancroft. the historian.
says that George Washington was tho
wisest man that ever lived
Tho mon and women who are horn
70 wriio can not be kept from writin z.
The thing they have TO say compel
uttcrance. - RoStoH Rcraih
w. u. Howells says that AL tho
female characters in his stories are
takeu from Quo model, his wife. whom
he photographs from different angles
Nj Dnlliu who was given S25. 600
Sud two years time TO model the de-
sign for the Paul Revere statue for tho
city of Boston. did the work in threo
weeks. Boston JoUrHdi
United States Senator Dawes. OF
Massachusetts, aud Senator w NJ.
Evarts, of New York. are cousins. both
boing grandsons of Roger sherman, who
died n Senator in 1898 Troy Times.
Osman Dignas original name was
Alphonse Ninot. he being full-blooded
Frcnchmnn. He was nj one time sold
IA slave to Mohammed Ahmed al
Mehdi, but quickly rose i'm that proph-
cts favor and became his son-in-lnw.
He is now about iifty-thrcc years old
The report that Jefferson Bill. ~
Lyme, had been seriously injured nt
New Orleaus was Incorrect His full
nano Is Jefferson Davis Bill The
names of two Of his brothers are Lo-
compton Constitution Bill and Kansas
Nebraska BIZ. All are sons of Hon.
James A. Bill, OF Lyme, Hartford
(ConR.) COUrdRt
The Princess Colonna's Miss Eva
MacScy) wedding outfit, all the forty
three travelling. town. concert. matinoo
and dinner dresses, came from tho skill
tul hands of an obscure but artistic cou.
turerc. On this Mrs. Mackey Is said 70
have wittily remarked; Il like To- en-
ploy n drcssmakcr for what she IL worth.
and not because she Is Worth ~
"A Georgia paper relates Of William
Jones, of Hall County, who is ninety
two years of age, that his hair has been
perfectly white, but seven or eight
years ago it began TO change, and now
* perfectly black aud luxuriant. whilo
his beard Is still white. Mr. Jones was
In the war OF 1912, and served four
years in the late unpleasantness.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
conaot and the Affected Author.

Conant, the last cIitor Of HarBcr's.
hal an ardent dislike Of sham, and
when, one night. there entered the au-
thor club-rooms n man Of worldwide
reputation who wcarily remarked. on
opening a letter asking for hts auto.
Er3ph, that hc was bored to death by
such requests, tho proyocation TO expose
tuc humbug was not resisted
How many letters begging your au-
t0raph do you get every week, on Che
avorazcP Conant inquired
'sSot less than Gfty. was tho Ostcu
tatlous reply "aud they make my life
m SCRABBLE
"How LONG does &c take you 90 write
your name on q sheet Of paper. fold 10.
zeal an envelope and address it2.
"tfell 7 really don know
Let us see, and Couant laid hh
watch on the table while slowly goiue
through with the process. That took
just fifteen seconds. Answering the en-
lrc fifty polite. complimentary requests
for your autograph IL you are so fortu
nate as 20 receive that number Of tokens
Oi popularity weekly would occupy 10
more than q quarter Of an hour
The lesson was q sound one. The~e
IS no siller anectatien than that OF
being bored by the autograph fends --
N D. Star
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
wAsHlNeToN,s oHeRRY rHre

4 Pieco Of the Identical Tree winch
Washington Hacked with the Historical
Hatchei
Yes, s'r. walk this way, said 10
pretty young lady TO a Post reporter
last night iu the temperance fair room
on I street. The reporter was i'm search
OF a piece of wood advertised as por-
ton Of George Washington cherry
tree and when ]. was pointed ont To
him several person wore gazing in
curious awe upon &C. The relic IS about,
half an inch square. cut in the form Of
n diamond, and surrounded with "a gold
setting formed from thp first tyyo dol
lars which thc Rev T.. IT, Burghardt
received in the army lie wears it as q
watch-charm
81 came into possession Of this piece
OF wood in 1862 said Mr. Burghardt
to The iO8 reporter "At that time /
was Chaplain of a pennyyanil regi-
mcut stationed nfar Frederick sburg
Here it was that ] heard of the tree.
which wa' In that vicinity. ON the fitl-
hugh estate. lt wa, guarded u'gnt and
day Ivy Federal troops in order tO prc.
f'I't tlr bH IIN futlfIF tNI 10 pieces DN
souvenir seekers. and in order To- get m
piece Of DO had to get permission from
headJuartcr- This succeeded in do
in~ and visited tho lrtc found r.
was mostly dead. though apparently OF
con idcrblc age IL was surrounded
WITH stone wall. oycrgrown with mos
aHt BEARING tnc same upououc a.
tho tomb of MARY Washington. which
Sc incaci o.. fredericksburg pro-
cured small chip from itwhich ha,e
sine ur.- If.t
Noto ofha'ouiu2 the fact u1t rd
'Ipn says Wellington cut Hie .tc.
down. while Nr Burghardt re. Wa-
SD erect Unru Doc secure h- r.hc. ho
hciI.ye. implicitly that ho ha4 pirr.
of the ch rrt tree on which the Father
of Dds Country exercised M little
haicuct ie .>. however. unab.. Co
Give orN reason Tor IN faith Chat sim
hiIn. cNccpt th1i tuc pc0pl. u hcltcal-
itv n1mcd 20 @ess ,He same Dc II luI
mouy years agJ trsg ca tl. wal TO
preserve tav Eee washington rys
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10

They constantly talk 10 one another.
and TO the Sheriff. whom they call Bill,
and who, q do him Justice. enters fully
and sympathetieally into all of the ex-
plots of the "boys" They are con-
fessed ruitians aud bullies. and they don't
seem ashamed of it. They guess the
game Is up. and they accept there fate.
not cheertully, but as matter of
course. They swear. In a copious and
characteristic vocabulary of their own,
against their III luck; but they have got
thar NJ last and they know il.
The little child came TO them and
looked at them curiously; they looked
silently at her They had probably
never seen anything so dainty or SO
sweet before. She saw nothing in
them TO frighten her. So she advanced
and spoke to them In her broken words !;
she even touched the fetters on tho
hands of one of them, aud smiled in his
face, and asked him what they were.
The man smiled. too, without replying.
and the child moved away As she
walked there was sudden quick Jerk
OF the whole ship, its further side
ground jatringly against some unyield.
ing substance hidden in the water; il
tilted over slightly, the child l)st her
balance, and, with scream, I n over
the side into the water. The vessel
for an instant was stationarf. The
three prisoners saw her disap-
pear. The prisoner TO whom he had
spoken, and whose handouts she had
for moment touched, exclaimed.
God! don't We shoot, Bill"' Then
quickly rolling himself over and over
he dropped into the wator be- itic the
child. As his hands wcrr bound BE-
hind him, he caught the child's dress IN
his teeth, and trcddhny re TdfeT Vjtb
his Jtttcred Jeet kept the child above
waterNnt help came. As everybody :
attention was diverted 10 the oppo ute
side Of the steamer. IL was some time
before the boat from the vessel reach Q
them. But the child was saved
Splendid said the chief. with
flashing eye.
Yes, il was splendid. magnificent
noble. Nee Hess 20 relate the thank
fulness of the poor young mother or tlc
gratitude of the father.
81 guess YOU are white man Rik.
after all, y said the Sheriff
purse was made up amoag ,le pas.
sengers for the man whose nau' was
Erikir, n Scandinavian by birth
1t was afterwards learned ti.t the
Sheriff told the story 20 the "Jclgc.' 90
and the Jedgc, with Western freedom.
and that admiration for gallans act
which covers multitude OF s'ns, so
arranged that When il was found that
Erkir had my seriously disappeared,
nothing was done beyond al lc official
bluster, and he escaped
1t would be in ercstng TO know what
was the result Of the episode upon the
man. Was the mission OF the child To
reclaim the man? 1t Of en- Is So But
nothing has ever since been heard of the
fate of Erikir. -Ha1pcr's MagasjAc
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10

There We're Published iu England.
last year. 1852 new book aga.n-t4. -
in 1883 BESIDES this there wore .5U
new et tons OF older books AZ foI
several years theology lead, the hst +.
point oi number Ina the United States
Lct0u 81 moft numerous
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
A REcLusE
The Hidden Things which Untimeiy Dsat
}trlngs 60 Light.

The Hidden Things which Untimeiy Dsath
lirlngs 90 Light.
Death brings many thugs ~ light
When the Williamsburg literary re
cluse, William WILDE force Mann. wa.
found dead in his shabby room. with
piles Of books and newspapers all about
him, very little could be- said by anyone
about his antecedcnls IL was general
ly supposed. though, that he had lived
and died unmarried Now. however, ~
woman Of nearly thirty. employed Z. 20
servant, come forward as "a claimant
for Che little property he had left. on
the ground that She is his daughter it
appear that long ago, when Mann was
well OF, hr spent some time in France.
aud was married there tO % woman of
strong temper and will and way OF
her own. They did not go ON togelhei
al ALL and after separating. ~ they
soon did. neither cared what became Of
Tho other Mann owned couple of
good houses in New York, and operated
u0t little in Wall street Iio sold the
houses. was wrecked in Wall street. and
retired 10 Dbscurity iu WILLIAMSBURG
llis alleged daughter saws hc know ehc
was living. but took no interest in her
nor She In him. Though the effect. lcu
bt iho old recluse are of very little
value. ilcro b. prospect Of a stubborn
hynt owe them boz court Maru was
originally from New Hampshire. bar be-
grow uY .u thc South DO hi. old days
he was cranky in thr extreme. and the
people living about him were as ipuor-
aui of BIS history as if his miserable
homo were iu Central Africa. ~ I
for DlfI0H free Press
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
Q. & o. r. n. TIMETABLE.
.In-II WESTWARD. -

a 0Ooodenscd timetable OF passenger traIns fSI
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10

fle the smar,cst confidence man that
ever attempted TO work a hotel safe.
and any landlord who is fool enough To
continue tn use brass or any kind of
checks on valuable packages when hc
can adopt 4 safeguard protecting him
self from any loss IN this way deserves
TO be swindled rs often a. Is necessary
20 bring him TO his senses. - Detroit
Free Press.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10

curious aud patton Individual
has worked fm an indGnita lcriod on
the following problem when walking
against q heavy rain and Some wind.
viii oct more Wcf by going fast or
going bow, ~ 4 move rapidly ceg.
,aiuiY encounter more drops 300 given
Va ht 2 arri ie at mv deH H.nsuon
sooner. lf could make the Journey.
say % Gu r.cr oi e mile. in one second.
] would have O. encounter fll tue rain
between ule two points Wpuli I EN-.
counter auy more ID i "aised ieisDcoiy
over 'hC GROUND Chicago HerGit
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
EASTWARD.

Besides the above-namod trains, there IL n
Way Train with "A passenger car attachod TIC !,
goes both East and West daily except SUNDAY.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
EIGHTEEN.

E.sheern years OF blooming Mars
hig hteen summers sum glow,
kigh cen autumns' purple haze,
Eighteen Christmas tides OF snCsl
happy maiden. dehouair.
Golden hours round thee daucai
Sparkling eyes and r,ppl ny hair
Digaplc, blush aud winsome glancol
cwect tho fruit that ripens slowest
Coolest is the II that des
Purple violets nestle lowest
Safest barque at haven rides
wait the years, nor speed them fast.
be>t equipped who latest stay5:
God ~ II voice Will speak az last
God sure hand VIII point the ways.
-GeOrgc ". 4. Price, ia Current.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1885-04-10
TAKING COLD.
Precautions That should BE raker
Against Becoming Chilled.

Precautions That should Bc Taken
Against Becoming ChuIed.
Among the causes Of taking cold,
says DR.. Rumbold in Hygiene Of Ca
tarrh, are'sitling up late on "a cold
night after the fire in the room has gone
out, then going 90 bed with cold feet;
getting ont Of the bed during the night
with bare feet and in night-dr,ss. 10
wait on a child that is sleeping in n
cold room; making fire i'm the morn.
ing OF cold day, in an undrcsscd con
dltion; standing in an op,n doorway
during cold or damp weather, with the
head and shoulders insuflicientIy pro
tected. TO speak few words to q trend
who is too slow in taking his or her de-.
parture: stopping to speak O. "A friend
on the sidewalk long enough 10 allow
the feet To becOm5 cold, aud 20 expert
ence n sensation of cold chiils between
the shoulders; making q call ON n
friend, who receives company i'm cold
parlor, or i'm parlOr in which the fir,
is started on your entrance; receiving
lessons or giving lessons on piano, in
cold room; seeing friend out 20 the
gate. and then standing there until
warned Of the imp Opriety Of the act b.,
sneeze or "cold streaks' coJr-ino
down the back
For the protection OF those 20 me
persons who can not fortlo Oh plea.
ure Of the parting at The gaic. J
would recommend, adds Dr. Rumbold
that their guardian should have a moy-
able gate constructed aud placed in o
room adjoining the parlor
moro lfo lt1a t.I.,, 81.
than others, because The system f.. no
able to commend o sufficient amount Of
heat when demand for il is made by cv-
poWre to lower temperature Thus
we find that person gho leads -ed
cntary ic. and confines himself in an
atmosphere artiiciallv from seventy
five TO eighty degrees Fahrenheit. ac-
custom, his system to habituall. pro-
ducc little heat because little deman
i- made for &C.; or one whose digestive
apparatus Is out of order, will not
properly digest his fool. and can
therefore, not produce sufficient heat
by oxidation Of the food. or one who d,
deprived. voluntarily or invOluntuly.
of tha necessary amount of oxygen, he
it by being confined in close rooms, or
On account Of disease of the lungs: OF
finally one who does not take exercise,
and so does not produce heat by mus
cular motion. will easily take cold from
the slightest exposure: while ON Che
other hand "a person who lives am out
of-dOOr-life and thus exercises his heat
producing faculty, takes cold bat rare
ly. even when much exposed
To guard against colds. therefore. a
person should maintain as good health
as possible. guard against such expos
us.- %. those Indicated aborr. take
ru'. outdoor c>ercf-c. f living O.
sciouerv life. at s.l season, OF The
yea and specially avoid coping in 3
clos r0uut S0ut0ru A.fr.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07
TO Let.

FTNHE large 219 story brick house No. AK e.
l. John St. dwelling lots for sale on This strea S
on easy terms. Apply to j. HOPKINS SNIFF a
First National Bank Building iy9 VA ar -
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07
TIE ARGUS AND GOV. Robe.
We copy the following from the BiddeforC
Journal It snaaks for itself.

We copy the following from the BlddefOrC
Journal. 1t speaks for itself:
The Portland Argus made a characteristic
attack upon Governor ROBBIE, Thursday. II
charges that he made bold bid for a seat
in Congress-, in his address before the Pc.
1t also denounces his allusion to the Par
sonsfeld centennial as Sin the vilest taste, -
and closes the chapter with the following
Argus lie":
THAT Governor ROBBIE lotered at Limerick
Friday, in hope of receiving an invitation which
the people of Parsonsfeld had neither desire nor
intention to extend, is no excuse for his spleeny
attack on the farmers who originated the celebra-
tion and so successfully carried it to a close"
We have reliable authority for stating that
Governor Robe was not in Limerick at all,
on Friday. That our readers may see Just
how much foundation there was for this
Splenetic outburst on the part of the Argus.
we print below the exact language used by
the Governor In his speech When it is re-
membered that he was speaking to farmers
and their wives about their mutual interests
the fitness OF his words will be seen, and con-
temptlble pettifoggery of the Argus will also
be made apparent:
I'm Congress there are two hundred and TWEEN
ty-one lawyers and fourteen farmers. Yet we
have eight million farmers and sixty-four thous-
and lawyers in the country. This dispropOrtion
IN representation is too great. The farmers
should hold some of these positions. The agricul-
tural interest is great in this country and who I'M
derstands the needs of the farming class like the
farmer himself? The Grange is educating young
men and we hope the time will soon come when
the farmer VIII be represented not only at Angus
"a put IN Washington. We exported eight hun
ddre9 lmnon dollars last year, Of which six hun
dred million dollars came from the soil. 1t ena-
Dies us to pay debts to foreign countries.
IL gave us the balance of trade in our favor.
"A Ifleha Yesterday called my attention TO q
have come TO your attention also the making M
OF the program Tor the centennial celebration of
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07
AGENTS WANTED.
WANTED.
WANTED.

WANTED-By young man, chance to learn
w the BARRIERS trade; would be willing to give
six months time for board and washing Address,
c. W. HEARN, Box 1924, Saco, Maine. 81
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07

the grand old farming town of Parsonsfield, and
there are none better in the State. You observed
now one person was selected to write about the
clergymen; that was all right Another to write
about the lawyers and the town had given birth
to many distinguished ones and another to write
about the doctors: but no one was selected to tell
of the farmers of that good old agricultural town
the men and women who educated the lawyers
the doctors and the ministers, and ParSonsfield is
not alone fin this respect. The farmhouses of the
State from which have come its best characters
have been neglected, and we have been left to in
fer that somehow the farmer is not the equal of
those engaged in other professions. 1t is for the
purpose Of bringing up This oldest and noblest of
professions, to show that the farmer can hold any
position under the State or national government,
that any man can hold, that this organization was
We understand that Governor Robbie was
strongly urged and invited by the committee
OF arrangements to be present at the centen-
NAL celebration at Parsonsfeld, and was
obliged to decline an invitation to be the
guest of DR.. Dearborn, the president of the
day, in consequence of important official en-
gagements at Augusta.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07

Germany has seized the Caroline Islands
and if she chooses will be able to hold on to
them. Of course in contest between Spain
and Germany there would be no doubt of
the result. But the Spanish are hot-head-
ed race and it would not be surprising if they
compelled their king to declare war against
Germany, unless the latter surrenders the
islands in question. A refusal to obey the
popular clamor would mean the loss of his
crown and very likely of his head as well.
Spain will no doubt attempt to induce
France to espouse her cause, but the French
people, though they cordially hate the Ger
mans and are burning to revenge Sedan,
have had quite as much war the past year as
they relish. Besides if Spain and France
should form an alliance against Germany
some other of the continental powers would
pretty surely join Germany. We suspect,
however, that it will be found that the Ger
man naval commander exceeded his orders,
and that Bismarck has no intention of en-
dangering the peace of Europe by a quarrel
over so poor piece of property as the Caro-
line Islands,
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07

"A SECONDHAND Set of Sheet Iron Workers
IA Tools. Address
b. A. ATKINSON & CO.
aug26 DIFF
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07

There is not much consolation to the ''hun-
cry and thirsty in the thought that several
years hence the Supreme Court Of the United
States may declare the civil service law I'M
constitutional, and we can be pretty sure that
this attack in the courts win not be the end
Of their efforts to get rid of it. They have
several strings to their bow, and this is only
one Of them.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07

The Democrats who are complaining Of
slowness on the part of the administration in
the distribution Of the offices can hardly JUS
tify themselves by a reference to the record
of changes of Presidential postmasters. Up
to the present time the changes in this class
exceed one-ffth of the whole number of com
missions. This is very good for beginning
1t ought to satisfy any reasonable Democrat
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1885-09-07

EOR SALE-One of the best business in
Maine for the. faris; sure thing and big
profits also other chances: all cash trade. Call