The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-06-04
SENSIBLE ADVICE.
A Few Words to Girls.
Jfr. John Siegel in the chronological Jour
nal for lfau.

A lady OF Intelligence ana ODserVatlo1
has remarked, II wish I could impress
upon the minds of the girls that the
chief end of woman is to marry young
If girls only could be brought to be.
lieve that their chances for happy mar.
riage were better after twenty-five than
before, there would be much less misery
in the world than there now is. To be
sure, they might not have SO many op'
portunities to marry after that age as be-
fore, but as they do not need to marry
but one at time, it is necessary that
one should be satisfactory. AS a girl
grows older, if she thinks at all, she Ger.
tainly becomes more capable of judging
what would make her happy than when
younger.
How many girls of twenty would think
of accepting the man they would gladly
have married at sixteen? At thirty
woman who is somewhat Independent.
and not over anxious to marry, is much
harder to please and more careful in her
choice than one Of twenty. There is
good reason for this. Her mind has i'm.
proved with her years, and she now
looks beyond mere appearance in judg-
ing of men. She is apt to inquire if this
man, who is so very polite in company,
is really kind.hearted? Do his polite
actions spring from q happy, genial
nature or is his attractive demeanor
put on for the occasion, and laid off at
home as he lays Of his coat?
A very young girl takes it for granted
that men are always as she sees them in
society, polite, friendly, and on their
good behavior. If she marries early in
fife the one who happens to please her
fancy, she learns to her sorrow that in
nine cases out of ten man in society
and a man at home are widely different
beings. Five years at that period of life
produce a great change in opinions and
feelings. We frequently come to detest
at twenty-five what we admired at six.
teen. We advance from the taffy candy
and peanut age to the era of gum-drops
and marron glaces, and even in later
years lose our yearnings for those dain'
ties. At sixteen, the Ledger and Mrs.
Southworth are the delight of girls
heart, and she fairly revels in the love
affairs of the most beautiful of women
with the most heroic of men, while their
hairbreadth escapes thrill her heart, and
their sorrows bring tears to her eyes. AS
she grows older, if she develops at all,
that style of reading gradually loses It's
charm, and she finds satisfaction in some.
thing more solid, till at length her taste
has changed entirely, and usefu! and in
structive works from the staple of her
reading. Of course she continues to read
novels, but she prefers those of differ.
ent and grander class than she perused
With such exquisite deligh bit at sixteen.
Similar changes take place in the NOR
al aud spiritual nature. Why should we
feel the same toward persons in after life,
when we have learned to distinguish be.
tween the false and true, the bad and
good, any more than we should like dime
novels after we have become acquainted
with Dickens, Thackeray and Shaks'
peare? How few comparatively of the
schoolgirl friendships extend into later
life? How few of our companions in
society do we love as we'll after twenty
wears have passed. How few even of
our own brothers and sisters, in whom
we do not see faults we could wish erad-
icated. Considering this, how is it pos
sible for one to feel surprised when a
couple who marry in their teens grow to
love each other less as years roll by?
When both grow alike, whether it be
rapidly or slowly, forward or backward,
there is some hope of their ever seeing
each other with the same eyes; but
when one progresses and the other retro
grades, difference springs up between
them, and in time one looks down upon
the other with feeling of superiority,
perhaps unconfessed, but still there !;
while the other, unable to perceive the
real cause of the trouble, grows at length
to dislike what was once loved. And
thus it happens that those who loved at
sixteen are Indifferent at twenty-five, and
sometimes divorced at thirty. This
trouble would never occur if very early
marriages were frowned upon; if dispo.
sitions, tastes and circumstances were
consulted instead of mere passing fancy,
and girls were encouraged to wait till
their minds were matured and they saw
life with clear vision. If later mar.
riages were moro universal, it might
prevent many from marrying at all; but
it would be to those whom it were best
should never marry-for instance, the
slack and thriftless, the coarse, the ter.
magant or the scold. Those who have
the elements of unhappiness within them,
and who care not to eradicate them,
would then be discovered, for such things,
like weeds, if left to grow, discover
themselves in time.
One great cause of early marriages is
the pernicious habit of calling a girl
who remains unmarried until twenty-five
an "old maid" This is done by many
we'll meaning but thoughtless persons,
who would be sorry to think that any act
or expression of theirs had ever caused
one all hour of misery; yet this very
dread of being called an "old maid" has
driven more women into marrying and
lifelong misery than any other thing ex.
cepting perhaps poverty. A girl, young,
sensitive, unused to the rough ways of
the world, shrinks from having any
stigma cast upon her. When she first
heard herself called an cold maid" it is
a revelation, and she falls under it as if
it were blow. She feels as if it we're
blow. She feels as if it were an i'm
putatiou upon her character in some
way; and though she may try to laugh
it off, the wound is there, and testers
and corrodes till the life that was once
happy as a birds has now a skeleton,
which she thinks can only be removed
by marriage. It is a mistake to think
that single life is any less noble than
marriage, especially if the spirit Of dis
cord is permitted to inhict its horrors
upon whole household.
Let mothers treasure their daughters
more; seek to learn their inmost feelings
IN o lind ond svmnathetic Wav. win