davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
PERSONS AND THINGS.

Canned whale is novelty put up for sale In
Roman Catholic countries.
The Duke of Edinburgh intends shortly to give
up his farm at Eastwell Park. The farming, in
stead of producing profit of some SI0O 600 year
as was intended, has resulted in loss of s., OC0
year.
M. dc Ferrani's collection of postage stamps
cost him 100000.
Tiny white tombstones were the table deeora-
tions ut the last dinner of the Thirteen Club in
New York.
I'll have stood on the top of Roam Mountain"
says Prof. Sargent, the eminent authority on
American forests, and have seen 10000 acres of
rhododendrons in bloom" When seen from the
distant valleys this mass of bloom intermixed with
foliage is in color, and hence the name of the
giant of the Alleganes.
In the camp of New York regiment was a
pet crow belonging to Henry Duval. This
had but one leg. 1t was fed in the presence of
other crows that looked with wonder at its fear
lessness They evidently supposed his loss OF a leg
accounted for the care he received, for, one day.
when it was whistled for to come to its dinner,
crow stepped from crowd of visiting crows.
hoped 20 feet away. Then it let down its other
leg, which had been hidden under Its wing and
flew away.
the largest mastif in the world. His name is
Senator; his age is Is months weight, l60 pounds;
hight, 3512 inches over the wethers; length, from
tip of nose to end of tail, seven feet eight inches,
and he is valued at 81 500
Recent statistics demonstrate that England has
own area; Holland 81; Portugal, 90 Denmark.
6.30 France, 1.9O. and Spain, 0.s6 square miles.
The British colonies include the richest and
largest forests in the world extending millions
of square acres In India alone about 60 coo square
miles afforeSted, and the forests of Canada,
Australia, New Zealand and Cape Colony
ond to IN size and variety and value of their
productions. But there is no knowledge of forestry
and no school of the art in France and Germany.
Consequently, the acreage under timber there and
in Great Britain itself is small and constantly de-
creasng OF the 20 000000 square acres of Scotland
only about 100. 900 to 100000 acres are woodland.
- Mr.. Moses 1. Ward, of Pelham, Mass, bought
n dog r3 three and has lust sold the
animal for s.; but as, in the interim. Mr. Ward has
had to pay Sc for licenses and damages of $50 and
sos to persons bitten by the eur, there is not
much profit in the transaction one might think
A club of 4 $50 members in Berlin recently adj
vertised for six medical officers to attend them 1T
salary of 1915 per annum each. This would make
the contribution from each member of the club
about as cents year for medical attendance. More
than 400 doctors applied for the places
"A Wyoming Territory" Gee Club" has lynched
six men for horse-steaing this year so far without
interfering with its musical pursuits.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
New Zealand Owls.

A queer story comes from New Zealand.
The owls in that island used to be as harmless
as doves; indeed, they once were "mousing
OWLS" and, therefore, useful. But one night q
settler left a sheepskin nailed to his root, and
an owl came along and tasted of the fat mutton
left thereon. That ow! became sheep-kilier,
alghting on lambs back three nights later.
Still more strange, all the other owls began to
like mutton, and now tine New Zealand bird of
that species Stays thousands upon thousands of
sheep, their appetites growing by what they
feed on, and their numbers increasing in pro-
portion to their prosperity. They light on the
backs of the sheep and tear the poor beasts
with their beal;s, going ct ono down through
the carcass to the kidney fat, which TO the OWLS
tongue is the dainties of morsels
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
The Course Of True Love.

That was touching story about Capt. Rob-
son. who was taken to the smallpox hospital in
Boston, as related in the Star of that city. His
wife was dying of smallpox at her home in ST.
John. The law, as well as prudent regard
for his own safety and that Of his fellows for
bade him going near her. He was about to
start off on a voyage. In all probability he
might never have an opportunity to see her
again. His affection for the partner Of his
joys and of his sorrows overpowered the cold.
harsh dictates of selishness-shall We also say
Of duty? Lowering himself in the nighttime
from his schooner into a boat, unknown to his
crew, he sculed across the lonely harbor, and
was soon by the side Of the wife whom he
loved. There he remained until morning,
administering to her wants and soothing her
pain, and before his men were aware of his
absence he had quietly returned on board,
carrying in his own breast the secret that would
have made them shrink from him as from
pestilence, but consoled by the thought that he
had done something to assuage the sufferings
Of her who was dearest to him on earth.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
At Ocean Grove.
] Grove was

This years campmeeting at Ocean Grove was
marked by fashionable apathy during the first
week. The exercises were not largely attended,
and there was not . hallelujah once an hour to
break the decorum. A lovefeast was held.
Nearly 200 ministers were present. The songs
of revivalism were led by claronet. which
drew together an assemblage of fully 5000 per-
sons. Eloquent addresses and impassioned
prayers aroused a degree of enthusiasm un-
known during the previous week. Still, tho
desired hight of fervor was not reached. Sud
denly, the Rev. Albert Wallace bounded to his
feet on bench, gave loud and long shout of
GLORY to God !" and impulsively waved his
handkerchief above his head. Instantly thou
sands of handkerchief5 were whitening the air
like so many spread wings of doves. The
spectacle was curiously impressive. 1t had a
wonderful effect upon the congregation. Out
cries became at once as general as they had
previously been scarce A wilder meeting has
rarely been known. The spirit aroused has
lasted the second week.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Gen. Rosecrans and Gen. Price.

JsOHtStNt tpHTtcT-JOnrAUt.l
War creates attachments more lasting than
any other, and which are not severed except
in death. An incident of the war established
between Gen. Rosecrans and Gen S. w. Price,
of this city, peculiar relations, which, so far as
Gen. Rosecrans is concerned, seem never to lose
their force. In the terrible struggle of Stones
River, when Gen. Rosecranss right was forced
back and almost crushed by the Confederate
advance, Gen. Rosccrans sought out Gen. Price,
then in command of IA brigade and holding
position of great Importance, and addressed
him thus:
Gen. Price, you command here, do your"
Yes, sir"
"Well, sir, will you hold this ford?"
I" ! will try, General"
"Wili you hold this ford?"
81 will die in the attempt"
"'That woB't do" replied Gen. Rosecrans
Sir, will you hold this ford? Look me in the
eye and tell me if you will hold this po5ition2"
Gen. Price answered, Il will"
THAT will do" replied Gen. Rosecrans az
bid you good-day."
Gen. Price redeemed his promise; he hold
the ford.
On the following day his brigade bore the
brunt of Gen. Breckinridge's awful charge with
his division Of Kentackians and GEN Rose
cIaus FOR his gallantry aud courage on those
two days, promptly and earnestly recommended
Gen. Price for promotion.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Information fer q Stranger,
[San Francisco Post.l


A party Of English tourists were coming from
the Yosemite last week when one of them, who
had been dubbed the interrogation point of the
crowd, espicd pair Of brogans sticking in the
face OF the bluff, toes down. Nudging the coach
driver, who chInced to be old Bill McClena-
than, he asked: "Ah. driver, wondah what
the doose those boots are doing up theah?"
Old Bill scarcely glanced up as he replied :
"That's 4 man buried up there, and the boys
were in such a hurry that they did not dig
deep enough to get his feet in"
d" Bah Jawvc, that's very strange, ye knau !;
I'll make noto of that. But say, driver, the
toes point down. He must be buried on his
face, dye knau."
Yes" said old Bill, musingIy, "he was an
Irishman."
/" But what's his being an Irishman got to do
with his being buried face down." asked the
now thoroughly aroused Britsher.
Old Bill looked at him in pitying manner
for some seconds, and then in tone full of deep
sorrow and astonishment at the tourists igno-
rance said: Well, DO yOu see we've got a sort
of superstition out this way that on election day
every dead Irishman gets out Of his grave and
votes, and so lately we've got to burying 'em
on the topof the hill, face down, so that the
more the corpse tries to dig out the deeper he
gets in the ground"
oh yes. l see," said the Englshman,
gravcly. "Pll make note of that for my
hook -
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Cooks and Their Characters,
TToDdon Truth |

They appear to have an odd way of doing
things in Berlin with regard to the characters
of domestic servants l am informed by one
who has resided III that eminentiy conservative
city for some 10 years that his wife once ven
tured to discharge a cook after submitting to
long course of depredations ut this domestic's
hands. 1t is the custom there to write the
character of the servant in a book, which all
servants are obliged to keep. My informant
in this instance ventured to inscribe the state
ment that dishonesty was the reason of dis
mssal. A few days after the discharged domes-
tic appeared with policeman, who said that
the character must be altered. as it would be
impossible for the woman to get another place
if the truth remained in the book. 1t was
thought prudent to aecede to the demand of
the myrmidon, as it appears that six days i'm
prisonment is the penalty for the slightest
remonstrance to one Of these officials. This
fact-for it really is q fact-shows what pro-
lection to employers this German book sys-
tenn is.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
A Beautiful Story.

Salt Lake has one of the most intelligent
dogs increation, as the following story shows:
The owner Of the dog is also the proprietor Of
a COW. Every morning the dog is started OFF to
drive the COW to pasture down near the Jordan.
lunch for the dog is tied up in paper and
fastened to his collar. Ho will drive the cow to
where there is good PASTURE and on hot days
will then lie down in the shadow she casts,
moving along rs the COW moves, and thus keep
ing constantly in the shade. He does not touch
his lunch until noon, when he slips the collar
from his head, tears off the paper and devours
his repast He will then, with his paws, push
the collar back over his head, and toward even
ing starts the cow for home. This story is
vouched for by several persons who have wit
messed the dogs performance; in fact some of
the people of the vicinity are in the habit of
watching him every day.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Inyal;as' Hotel and Surgical Inyiitute.

This widely celebrated institution, located
at Buffalo, y. Y, is organized with fall staff
Of eighteen experienced and sl;illful Physicians
and Surgeons, constituting the most complete
organization Of medical and surgical skill in
America, for The treatment Of all chronic dis
eases, whether requiring medical or surgical
means for their cure. Marvellous success has
been achieved in the curc of all nasal, throat
and lung diseases liver and kidney diseases,
diseases OF the digestive organs, bladder dis
eases, diseases puculiar to women, blood tants
and skin diseases, rheumatism, neuralgia,
nervous debility, paralysis epilepsy (Gts),
spermator-bea, inpotcncy aud kindred aiIcc-
tions. Thousands arc cured at their homes
through correspondence. The cure of the worst
ruptures, pile tGmars varicocelc hyGroccle and
structures is guaranteed, with only short resi-
dence at tile institution. Send 10 cents III
stamps for tine Invalids' Guidc-Book les pagcs) !,
which gives .ll particulars. Address Worlds
Dispe3sary Medical Association, Buffalo, n. Y.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
YhTHAT PAID.
Why q Shoemaker md Clothing Dealer Went
Into the Church.


Into the Church.
[Ne,rnaan Indepeadcnt1
"How does it happen that you Joined the
Methodist Churcii2" asked man Of q dealer in
ready made clothing e
"Vell. because mine brudder choined der
Bresbyterians. vas not want der let heem git
der advantage NIT me-"
How get the advantage2"
"Mine brudder noticed dot he vas Elm shoe
maker und dot der Bfesbyterians shtood oop
ven dey braye. lie see idot dey ware der shoes
oud in dot way unit he choins dot shurch to hold
dot trade, unit prospers SO 1 choined der Meth
odists." ~
"What did you gain by that?"
"Vy, der Methodists fikneel down mt ware
der pritches at deriknees out ven dey bray long
unit ware pig holes in dem pritches. Veil,
sells cloting to dem Methodists unit makes
monish."
'But don't you have to donate considerable
to the support of the church,"
Yah; puts much money in dot shurch
basket, but efery time donates to dot shurch
l marks pritches oop den per cent. unit gifts
more as efen."
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
From n Fiddler TO n Judge.

ILeHtsIUN tDIeT JUHFHutI
One of the Justices of the Maine Supreme
Court occasionally amuses himself, when ne is
alone. by taking down an old fiddle and playing
on it. The Judge used to be an expert per-
former of jigs on the fiddle, but since his boy
hood has not devoted much time to the violin.
He was born and raised in poverty, and the
story of his life is almost romance. His father
was the fiddler of the village, nomadic and
iovial soul. Said an old neighbor the other
day. "When j went to muster, 60 years ago,
used to see the Judge and his father playing
the fiddle for dances at sixpence per tune That
was the regular price in those days. None of
the dancers ever supposed that their little tid
dler would become Judge Of the Supreme
Court.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Milking il Cooler.
ffrkdnsGW Trapeiler. !


On one of the days of the late hot spell
Johnsons wife saw him out in the stable lot
with shotgun blazing away at his thermometer,
which he had hung upon the limb of a peach
tree.
Good gracious me-" she screamed. "what
are you doing out there, Mr.. Johnson"
go back in the shade" he shouted in reply.
"It's none of your business. I'm trying to
bring the blamed thermometer down."
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
He Drew the Line ut Pie.


In the raft of Congressman and Senators
temporarily resident in st. Paul, Wisconsin
shows much timber, and one of the most nota-
BILE pieces of dimension stuff is Ike Stevenson,
of Marinette, who will represent the Ninth
District. 1t is told of Ike, who is rich az cream,
by the way, that soon after he was elected he
thus unbosomed himself to friend: been
elected to Congress- as / suppose you know.
Eve never been down there, and maybe won't
catch on first rate. However, my daughter has
been to Europe and Paree, and I reckon I'll
let her run things in a social way pretty much
as she likes. I'll try to DO the decent, and as
she tells me. One things sure enough, though
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Handsome Ludwig.

The eccentric monarch Of Bavaria. King
Ludwig, is at present being dunned like any
other unfortunate person unable to pay his
creditors The potentate has penchant for
building castles and n love of opera. and be-
tween the two he has spent immense sums of
money. Though he is fond of erecting castles,
be has no queen to grace them; and. although
passionately enamoured of opera, is hater of
women. So intense are his feelings toward the
opposite sex that on the occasion of his visit to
Prince Hohenlohe, in Paris. the Princess had
to be sent away so that he might not be an
moved with her presence"
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
A Scho0IboyS Mother.
II

Said mother yesterday to me: 81 have just
started my oldest boy to school to-day for the
first time, and it makes me feel both sad and
old-sad because my baby is no longer baby,
but boy out in the world: no longer subject
solely to home influences and home love, but
begins his fight with the world; old, because
am no longer the young mother with that cute
baby, but that big boys mother. soon to be
referred to as that pleasant old lady"
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
A W0man's Success.
[Augusta (Me.) Jouraai.l

A lady scientist physician, the wife of the
leading doctor in Clinton, has been in the heal
ing business for two months and has secured a
practice greatly overiowering that Of her hus-
band in the most pamy days of his profession.
She has surely come into possession Of the tails
man of the family if not of an even wider circle.
She averages 81 professional calls per day, and
some of her patieuts now go miles to see her
who until within q few weeks have been con-
fined inYaliGS.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
On Educational Facilities.

y
"Have you been kept in again at school ?"
asked an Austin father of his son, who came
Sinking home just at dark.
Yes sir. | didn't know my !iografy lesson"
"Good heavens alive boy if you are kept in
that way now, at a little one horse school, when
you go to the university at Austin, you won't
get home once every two or three years."
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Where They Would Appreciate Him.

GChicago Liring Church.l
"Can't you tell me, sir, where might find
a situation?" asked young man Of a Chicago
citizen. II am stranger here" "What at?"
was the reply. "Oh, anything at all: l am
not afraid to work" Got any recommends
tions?" "Woll, no; but / am Industrious, 1
am honest, / go to church regularly. don't
drink, don't chew, l don't smoke. don't lie"
"Ah, see. Just apply around the corner at
the dino mnSanmN
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
A Little Confused.
1.-THE Argonauf.l

A lady visiting in a large city attended a
fashionable church, and through tho careless
ness of an usher was shown into private pew.
Very soon fashionable family came in. led by
n very pompous-lOoking old gentleman, who
stared angrily at the offending stranger in his
pew. The lady, greatly embarrassed. arosc and
said: "I-I-beg your pardon, sir; do you oc-
cupcw this De2"
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
SpnrHed the Gold,

The world will be glad Of the assurance that
there are some men in the humbest walks of
life who can't be bought with the clink of gold.
A Hoosier who lost his wife few weeks ago
was waited upon few days after the funeral
by man who introduced himself as the agent
of q Cincinnati medical college, and he went
right to business by remarking:
Mr.. Blank. neither of us has any time 10
fool away. Your wife is dead and buried. I
want her body for the college. / could snatch
it any dark night, but that's not my way. How
much cash will buy the cadaver?"
digger up at your own expense?"
eyes"
"How muchll you give?"
Fifteen dollars"
"And the coffin?"
"Oh, that's no use to me-"
stranger" said the widower, you skip or Til
shoot. If you think Pm fool enough to throw
away a forty dollar coffin in these hard times
you haven't sized me up k'rect. Let the old
woman stay thar. She isn't costing anything
for board and lodgings, and there amt penny
out for repairs"
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Novel WAY of Conmittin. Suicide.

A well-dressed man was discovered in n yard
in Brooklyn, n. Y, last week, attempting to
commit suicide in q novel manner He was
throwing large stones into the air and placing
himself in such position that they would fall
on his head. He had succeeded in wounding
himself severely before policemen removed him
to the Flatbush Hospital
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Southern Coniurers and Northern Qaaeks.

Oliver Wendell Holmes has said that there
arc three classes of patients: One class will get
well iH spite Of the doctors. another will die
anyway. and the third, which is small IN mum
bers, may be benefited by the doctors Those
patients of the coDjurc doctor who get well be-
long 10 the first class, those who die belong to
the second but none of his patients ever belong
10 the third class. After al, the distinction of
color, so far as quacks are concerned, is not
great. Some Of our New England cmprics arc
On level with the Southern conjnre doctors.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Rough On the Pastors.


"Tll want lot of blanks for assault and bat
terry cases." said Texas Justice, entering Il
printing establishment.
"Arc you out of blanks?" asked the printer.
No, but l will be pretty soon. There is
going to be a colored Pan Evangelical Council
preacher meet here in day or two, and want
to be prepared for the rush of business. This
is my busy season."
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Lincoln. and Davis.
lphiLfldrlphia Ledner.l

Somebody has taken the trouble to collate
several remarkable condolences of events in
the lives of Jefferson Davis and Abraham Lin
coin" The two men were most remarkable,
however, for their differences. They were as
the poles asunder in character, tastes, methods
and aims. That isswhy lincoln is loved of all
men. o. n
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Too Green.

Scene in a grocery story. Proprietor talking
with customer, while clerk tries TO get bushel
of potatoes out of barrel into sack
Proprietor-Theyl be ready in few min
utcs, sir
Customer-What's tho matter with your
clerk?
roprietor-Inexpericnc
Customer-Why don't you fire him2
Propricior-Too green to be fired.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
He Saved 1t.

Harmed (Kon) Cironoscope.l
A collection was taken up in one of our
churches recently, and when the hat reached
the scat occupied by lady, her daughter, and
little son, the two ladies found themselves
without cent of, money, but young America
reached over and deposited cent in the hat
and then whispered to- his sister: There,
just saved this family from being white
WaShed.V
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
A Sequel OF the Spottsy!vanis Story.
Portland lMe.l 1drcriiSer.l

IIWHU'tu I17eJ <IUttFIfNtT.I
Peter Ames, of Belmont, had a tooth ex-
tracted in Belfast recently. The dentist no.
ticed that the root of the molar had been in
contact with metal, and investigation disclosed
a bullet which Mr. Afnes had received in his
face at Spottsylvania, Va, in May, 1864. More
teeth were extracted and the bullet was re-
moved.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
A Wolf Story.

Virginia (Ncu) Enterprise.
About the best wolf story going is one told
by the Pioche Record. 1t gives the particulars
of a lame wolf that lay in the rabbit path with
its mouth open, while the rabbits, several
thousands in number, ran down its throat until
the wolf burst.
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
Poor Helinwsi

Frustrated, debilitated, enfeebled, they feel as
If they were hardly worth picking up. They
would hardly give the toss of bright penny
for n chance of choice between life and death
But even such forlorn people can be renewed
by the use Of 'rown's Iron Bitters. 1t vtalizes
tho blood, tones the nerves. and rcnovates the
system. Mr.. Isaac G.. Weed, Burr's Mills, O.,
says: Il used Browns Iron Bitters for general
weakness, and it helped ne greatly"
The National tribune., 1885-09-24
ECZEMA!

For the benefit Of suffering humanity. deem II only
my duty to give this unsolicited testimony in favor of
SWits Specific. My wife has been afflicted with Eczema
from infancy. We tried every known remedy but to
avail She was also afflicted with periodical
headache, sometimes followed by intermittent fever
that her life became burden to her Finally deter
mined to try Swift's Specific She commenced seven
weeks ago. After taking the first large bottle the disease
seemed to increase the burning itching ard infamma-
ton became unbearable She, however perseyered in
the medicine After taking the second bottle
the Inflammation began to subsde After the third bottle
the Inflammation disappeared and spots dried up
and turned white and scy and finally she brushed them
Off in impalpabie white powder resembling pure salt
She taking the sixth bottle every appearance OF
the disease is gone. and her flesh is soft and white
chid Her headaches have disappeared and she enjoys
the only good health she has known In 20 years No
wonder she deems every bottle of s. s. s. is worth thou
sand times its weight in gold
Any further Information concerning her viii Be
cheerfuy given BY herself at her residence 15 Mues
Street, or by me.
JOHN r. BRADLEY. "A GriSgold Sc.
Detroit, Mich, May l6, 1885.
For sale BY all druggists.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.,
n. z. 157 ". 23d st. Drawer 5, Atlanta, Ga
Mention The National Tribune.