Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1885-03-12
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.

1t is said that colored blacksmith
OF Georgia was shooting mule not Ion
ago, when the animal disengaged itsel
and drove one Of its hind feet agains
the negroes head with the force Of
Datteripg.ram. A few days afte-war,
some one asked the owner II the black
smith had sustained severe ipiurie
from the kick he had received. I"
cant say that he did," responded tn,
man dejeetedly, "but the mule goes OF
three legs"
Loud and angry disputes were O
daily occurrence between Jones and hi
worthy spouse. This had been Roins
on for years, when suddenly there WA
calm, TO the great surprise and relic
81 the neighbors. The other day 9
friehd accOsted him in the street.
well, hear you have given ovel
quarreling with your wife. Is tina,
true"" Perfectly true. We haven,
spoke for the last two mon tbs"
"Ill bet bottle Of champagne that's
. married COUPLE" remarked o swell
standinR at. the window of fashion.
able clubhouse and watching lad
and gentleman who were crossing the
street during heavy shower. can't
Imagine your reason for saying 3d." 70.
| tured his companion. It's plain enough.
Don't you see that the center of the
umbrella IL over his head, not over
hers 7"
I'm afraid of these coachmen," re-
marked one old gentleman to another in
bus. How 80 ?" They are al.
ways running off with ones daughter,
and all that sort Of thing. Ain't you
afraid ?" " Not particularly" How
do you manage It ?" 81 don't think
there is any danger in my case" " Oh,
! see you have no coachman." No,
nor daug hter."
An enterprising man has his house
and shop connected by telephone. The
other day, during storm, the light
ming entered the shop by the wire while
the proprietor was talking to his wife
aoout when he would he home to din.
ner. As he recovered his consciousness
tho fret words he spoke were CAN
right Mariah don't hit me again I'll
do just as You say"
All. dearest" sighed the Young
man, kneeling at the feet OF his ownest
own, " dost thou know what Of all ont
ward things Is nearest my heart p"
Really, ! can't cay" she replied :;
but II You have any regard for your
health In this changeable weather, /
should think 1t was a flannel shirt"
She was too practical, and 1t broke the
engagement
A belatei husband, hunting in the
dark for IL match with which TO light
the gas, and audibly expressing his dis
appointment, was rendered insane in
an instant by his wife suggesting, in a
sleepy voice, that be had better light
one and look for them, and not 60 STUN.
bling around in the dark breaking
things.
The worst thug in connection with
this sort OF business IL" said the bank
cashier 10 himself as he packed the
valuabes away in his valise, " one has
got TO leave the country +; butt" he add
ed AZ lie made sure that the safe was
entireiy empty, the country Is The
only thing / will leave % And it was.
A British and Yankee skipper were
sailing side by side, and in the mutual
chah the English captain hoistGd the
Union Jack, and cried out There's
a leg of mutton for you I" The Yam.
KEGS unfuil led the stars and stripes and
shouted back '"And there's the grid.
Iron which broiled IL %
You have no ruins, no natural curl.
osi les In this country" said a we'll
known aesthetic lecturer to an Ameri
can lady at a reception in Philadelphia
the other week. No." replied the
quick witted lady "but our ruins
will come soon enough, and as to our
curiosities, we import them"
Eta, I love thee a;one. Indeed I
speak tie truth % He paused-the
blush u'erspIead her dim pied cheek.
She lot him draw her near. Scarce for
emotion could'she speak. Yet still she
asked In accents meek Ned, how
much have you a year ?"
Mr. Smith TO Mrs. Paryenu, who has
been telling him about her new housed |:
suppose you will have DUN bwaiters
i'll the house ~ Mrs. P: mo, [
sha'n't had deaf cook once, and
vowed then never to have another
Crippled servant"
Miss Mary: Now, Harry, If YOU
are doctor, prescribe for me. I've
bad very bad pain about my heart.
What can take ?". DR.. Henry (think
ing this the best opportunity he has
had 1--WE no doubt Jas to what IL
the best remedy to take-take mo r,
A Pennsylvania paper tells OF fami.
ly whoshave been poisoned by eating..pie
containing arsenic. 1t seems like q
work OF snpeIerogation to put arsenic
Into pie. A pie that cannot kill fami.
~ without the belp of arsenic il q very
weak pie indeed
A paper, in describing An accident
recently, says, with considerable can
DOR DIR - was called, and
under his prompt ami skillful treat
ment the young man died on Wednes-
day night"
Too cautious.-He az am going TO
take away bottle OF salt water IA A
mem-nto of this watering place." She:
" But don't fill IL too full, for fear IL
should slop over on US when the tide
comes in"
A would he wit once said, speaker q
OF the fair EEK !: "Ah !! it's a woman's
mission to make fools of men," And
how vexed we are" said bright eyed
lady present, 1" to find that nature has
30 often forestalled u.s."
A young lady, On being asked at q
musical examination, what IL ar in
terval ?" judiciously replied at il
that space of time allowed for refresh
ments between the acts of an opera or
the tive parts of concert"
An exchange has An elaborate account
OF the newest wrinkle in stockings. 1t
omits, however, to mention the origi.
nal wrinkle which still continues to
carry on business at the old stand I'M.
der the heel.
He had an auburn. haired girl, aud
promised 20 take her out riding. She
met him at the door when he drove mn.
anu he exclaimed Halo I Rad o'j