McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1885-01-08
AN AGREEABLE DECISION.
Excitement Over an Attempt to Defeat JUS
tice in H0rsehead County.

Excitement Over an Attempt to Defeat JUS
tice In Horsehead County.
The people of Horsehead county are
very much exercised over recent at
tempt to defeat justice in that part of
the country. A young fellow named
Spareribs was arrested for stealing q
pair of home-knit socks, and was ar
raigned before Justice Swash, jurist
in whom the community imposes great
faith. The blacksmith shop, where
the court usually meets, was crowded
with mules on the day set for the
trial; so, in order that the spanking
hand of justice might not be kept from
its work, Judge Swash proposed that
the trial should take place in an adj
joining lot. The Judge took his seat
on the fence and Spareribs climbed up
on a stump.
prisoner at the bar"
Prisoner on the stump, your hon.
OF" suggested the lawyer.
"That's fact. Prisoner on the
stump. come up to the rack and
plead"
The prisoner ''chawed'' his tobac-
CO, but remained silent.
Didn't you hear me, sir?''
The prisoner continued to '.chaw."
''Look here, prisoner on the stump,
it you don't pay attention to me,
blamed if don't call the dogs and set
'em on you. Are you guilty or not
guilty?"
81 stole the socks, jedge, if that's
what you re driyin' at"
chats what we are drivin' at, an
that's what we want to find out, but
you are such liar, prisoner on the
stump, that don't know whuther or
not to believe you. Well, never saw
man what couldn't tell the truth some
times, and | believe I'll take your
word for it,
'Wall, jedge, to tell the truth, 1
didn't steal 'em.'
prisoner on the stump, now know
you did. The witness says that imme-
diately after you went through the
yard, the socks was missing off the
line"
"Wall, jedge, you passed along thar
about the same time, an gentlemen of
the jury" continued the prisoner, 81
move that we sarch the SQUIRE
"Tm in for that" said one of the
jurymen, ''for, although l know the
judge to be honest in a community
where everything is too heavy to lift,
but no longer than yesterday heard
him say that he would like to have a
pair of old-fashioned, home-knit socks.
Suppose we sarch him, fellers?"
The Judge leaped from the fence
and attempted to run away, but fleet
footed man who for years had been in
the habit of running from the grand
jury caught him. The socks were
found in his coat-tail pocket.
'Ididn't steal 'em," he declared when
he had been brought back to the lot
and arraigned against the fence.
"Spareribs put 'em in my pocket"
:'Then what made you run?" asked
Spareribs.
Because I didn't know that 1 had
the socks till you fellers began to talk
about sarchin' me, then, feelin' round
[ found 'em. l knowed then that 1
didn't have no time to lose"
'1'll be the jedge," said Spareribs,
seating himself on the fence. 'Put the
thief on the stump, Mr.. Constable.
I'll show you how can administer
Justice"
Boys" said the Judge, when he
had been lifted up and damned down
on the stump, II did steal them socks,
but 1 didn't mean to. They was
hangin' SO low that couldn't help it.
Now, let me make motion"
'You made one just now and come
mighty nigh gittin' away said Spare
ribs.
Hold on, Sparey, let me talk, "said
the justice. 81 move that we fling the |
thing outen court so fur as it relates to |
uf us; that we fine the owner of the |
socks ten dollars for hangin' 'em so low
that good citizens be tempted, airter
which We'll all go to my house and
get snort of fust-class brandy. What |
DO you say?" The motion was unan-
carried. Several days after
wards, the circuit Judge, hearing of
the affair, attempted to set aside the
verdict, hence the excitement con-
corning the attempt to defeat justice.
Traveller.