Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-01-30
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN we hear a useless member Of society
Boosting OF his ancestry, his blood, we suspect
that it Is very bad case of blood poisoning -
Boston Transcript.
FIRST AUTHOR-"Colonel this prairie re-
minds me of your last boob. 1t Is so smooth y
SeCOnd Author-"And it reminds me of your
last book. SO flat.'-Arkansa10 Tra0eter.
GRANT. Sherman. Buell., BeaureGard and
NcClernand all differ in their accounts of the
battle OF shiloh. y contemporary asks, why
not have it fought over again In the presence
Of a referee?
IL a street row in Quebec, on Saturday, one
Of the combatants was knocked down and
nearly killed by blow from a huge icicle
His assailant should be punished for carrying
CONCEALED weapons.
MRS. PARvENU would not allow her chIl
dren to 20 to Mrs. Learned's children's party,
because she was told Mr. Learned was
afflicted with the bibliOmania and she didn't
want her girls to catch it.-Net0 York Mail
IF Mr.. Kelly wants to run his motor from
Philadelphia to New York on a pint of water,
lac should be careful to use Schuylkill water.
After 1t has stood awhile the animals will
grow big enough TO get out and help push
Phitadelphid cal.
AN aesthetic Boston girl has put spectacles
on her pug dog. He also eats beans and cod
fish balls on Sundays, and doesn't bark vul-
carly like common dogs, but has a culture /
little snin which is very becoming and is not
calculated to disturb his glasses Grdphic.
sHE-"There is no danger of your failing, is
there, dear2 You have 50 many friends, and
they are so warmly attached to YOU" He
"N es, but the deuce OF 1t IS, don't you know
that they Will probably transfer their attach
ment to the house aud furniture. "-7be To1ra1
Two servant girls are enjoying their holt
day out, and come to halt before the show
case of dealer in antiquities to admire the
lamps and lustres. (Which of those chande-
liets would yCu have for YOUR house If you
Krnr arTfb on L
bronze one there with the eighteen lamps"
I'd prefer that One,' responds her cOmpan
ion, pointing to a PLAIN brass pendant with
three lights. "Whyf' because it would be
SO much less trouble to clean it?"-FrOm the
French.
WHILE digging a well in Rome, Ga, work
man found, at the depth of sixty-fou feet
down In the bowels of the earth, petrlted
oyster. 4 legend exists to the effect that
church supper held in Rome twenty five
years ago was almost a failure on account OF
Its oyster escaping from back window and
taking to the woods. 1t is supposed that this
petrifed bivalve is the missing oyster. We
suspect Il as recognized by mole between
its shoulder blades. The oyster must have
been terribly frightened to burrOW SO deep
into the earth.-Norristo1cn Herd1d,
KENTUCKY State Journal: ''see here Mr..
Man, | hear that you are flirting with nay
wife, and if you don't stop it I'll break your
neck" Flirting with your wife! Pm neither
flirting with her nor want to do so. | don't
Ike her well enough for that" You don't?
I'd like to know why you don't. Shes Just as
nice a woman as there Is in town, and | don't
want you to be tellin' me that she halu't good
enough for you to like. You've got to like her
just as well as any other woman, or I'll know
why and don't you forget it." The angry
husband then walked away swearing ven
geance because Mr.. Man didn't like his wife.
Some men can't DC pleased any way.
A YOUNG lady living in Dallas went back on
the young man to whom she was engaged be-
cause he drank. a few days after she had
told HIM she would never speak 10 nm again
q little negro boy brought note from the
wretched young man, whom we shall call
George. The note read: "Faithless, yet still
beloved, Fanny; my sufferngs are more than
| can bear. | cannot live without your love.
{ have, therefore, just taken poison, the et
fects of which am already beginning TO feel.
When you read these lines VIII already nave
Joined the great silent majority. l Will be
CORPSE. see that | am deCently buried, and
shed silent tear over my tomb in remem-
brance of the happy days gone b. Your
dead George When the young lady had
finished reading the note, she asked the little
negro who brought it what he was waiting
for? .'Dc gemman told me ter wait for
answer. '-IeedS SifttHgs.
PAT Reilly was taking a ride
On an elegant summers morning,
And Kathleen sat close by his side,
Bright smiles her face adjoining.
And she looked so tidy and neat,
Her figure so plump and trim;
No girl half so pretty and sweet
Had ever appeared to him.
Said Pat: "YOur eyes are so blue
And your lips so temptingly red,
They're the purtiest ever | knew
And belong to the Colleen I'd wed.
''Ah! darlin if it wasn't this basic
That's pullin' my poor arms apart,
They would tinderly stheal around your waist,
And yourself be pressed to my heart.
''For my love is that powerful indade
WidOut you | cannot survive.
Then kathleen blushed and said:
"NIr. Reilly! perhaps ] could drive"
Tesds SiftihgS.