The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1885-05-14
AN EVANGELIS L.
Gems rom Brother Sam Jones, The
Georgia Preacher, now Stirring

Gems rom Brother Sam Jones, The
Georgia Preacher, now Stirring
up Tennessee. j
We see God al around US. The
are Gods thoughts up
heeved. The rivers are Gods
thoughts in motion. The oceans
are Gods thoughts imbedded- The
dew-drops are Gods thoughts in !,
pearls.
/ believe that the whale swallow
ed Jonah, and the only reason / /
don't believe that Jonah swalloweH
the whale is because the Bible don't |
say 80.
yot don't believe what you don't |
understand. Do you understand |
why some COWS have horns and
some are muley?
You don't believe what .snr. don't
see. Did you ever ssS5 your back
bone7
The hardest thing for me to be-
and the sermon on the mount.
Custom is the law of fools, and is
running this country,
God pity the man who can't run
his home without deck of cards.
He ought to have beeH in hell long
before he had chi dren born unto
him.
! 7 used to lance, but when 1 want
| 81 d wife went to the prayer meet
ing, and l beat your sort, too.
1t any man don't like What say
let him come to me afterward and
say SO, and III forgive him.
: y,ot dance with this world and
So0'n go to hell with this world.
, l have no respect for Mahoue's
politics, but like his answer to the
9 QUESTION how much he weighed.
i lie said: Il weigh ninety i've
, pounds, but ninety pounds of that
/ is backbone"
= Some men think they have back
J, bone, but it is nothing hut a cotton
: string run up their backs.
There is more religion in laugh
: ing than in crying. If religion con
sists in crying, have the best boy
l. in the world.
= I photographed your own ugli
. ness, and you sit here and laugh al
o it. You ought to be ashamed.
e am Methodist, and want to bt
e the best one God ever made.
# When StPeter said add to your
:, knowledge temperance, he didn't
e have reference to you, old red noset
e MethOdists. Any man who pre-
+, tends to be Christian and drink!
y whiskey is a great old big humbus
e "a tWo-legged hypocrite.
g Society is heartless old wretch
e and if you don't get out of it vol
i will go to hell with it..
u u When the doctor says you cam
- live but an hour you'll want jus
:! such preacher as is talking tt
y you.
o. God bores through the top of
q mans head to his heart and on dow
g. to his pocket.
The lawyer who knows as llJtl
IF about Blackstone and the suprem
d court reports as the average Chris
n, tain does about the Bible, woul,
= never have but one case. Tn
ii sheriff would be his next client.
al If any of you don't like the wa
rs these services are going, there ar
g, three doors-you are cordially in
1T vited to leave.
d When your little cups full yo
car just back out.
Red liquor and christianity won
stay in the same hide.
In Georgia town a number @
re girls married men to reform then
IN and now the town is full of littl
IN whippowill widows.
OF How lovely is a patient woma1
rs God pity the man who has forkeC
a tongued wife.
~ The matter of church doctrine
I le an accident. If my mother an
W Brother Witherspoon's mother ha
d. swapped babies he might have bee
Pc a Methodist preacher.
10 The devil is too much of a gel
da tleman to stay where he is not we
q. come.
The churches of Nashville furnis
tn whiskey to the surrounding countr
rs Some of your wholesale iquor.dea
de ers belong to the church.
We If brother Barbee would draw tt
ne line where the Lord wants him
IN draw it, there would not be hui
'es dred members left in the church.
va Ua The back door of the churc
he ought to be opened once a year ar
re give all who have not lived up
n r its rules an opportunity to pass ou
% Bob Ipgersol (and / never call h
cd name Nithout feeling the need of
nm disinfectant) says whiskey is God
ita worst enemy and the devils be
W friend. He is good authority {
that side.
Whiskey is a good thing in
place, and that place is in hell.
We / get there / will drink all I can &c
Is but won't do it here.