davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

The year aftez tbe Jeannette-search
steamer Rodgers v2 lost, Lieutenant
Stoney Of the navy was sent to the
Alaska coast 10 distribute presents
among the natives Who had aided the
revenue cutter CcrEin in its search
for the Rodgers. He was for several
months on an island near the coast,
not far south of the month of the
Yukon River. He made excursions to
the main land, amt discovered the
estuary of an apparently large river,
He explored tue river for 400 miles
from its mouth, and ascertained enough
to convince aim that ne had discovered
a stream which would rank among the
great rivers Of the world. A party OF
naval officers, under command of Lieu
teuant Sgoncy, will start in a short time
for Alaska to explore this river further
A vessel is building III San Francisco
for the use of the expedition. 1t will
be a small steamer, with a paddle wheel
@astern, similar to those used on the
shallow rivers of the South, and called
the ''ripple-kicker." Proceeding to
Alaska as soon as The season will per-
init, the party will steam up Lieutenant
Stoney's river as far as 1t can in the
"ripple-kicker. When rapids or other
Instructions prevent further progress
by water, the steamer will be laid up
alongside the bank and left in charge
OF a boatkeeper, while the party pushes
forward on foot. All preparations will
be made to winter on the banks of the
river if necessary, and prosecute the
work OF exploration ON sledges. 1t Is
probable that some OF the outfit pro
vlded for the Greedy Relief Expedition
will be turned over to Lieutenant Stoncy
to be used in case the party winter in
Alaska. The party will be a small one,
composed almost entirely of officers
who have been selected already, but
who have not yet received their orders.
Aside from the building of the steamer,
little expense will attach to the expedi
ton. The natives in the region through
which the river is supposed to dow ar,
friendly, and much assistance Is ex
pected from them in the work of ex
ploration. When Lieutenant Stou ,
explored the 400 miles of this river, Il,
found the current in some places run
ming at a rate of twelve knots an hour
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
How He Proved HIM a spy.

An instance is related of the severe
character of old Governor Clinton, the
Revolutionary Governor of New York,
and afterward Vice President. 1t is
said tnat in l776 a stranger came to his
house at Albany, protessedly on a visit
of courtesy. As the conversation
advanced into the subject of rebellion
Clinton suspected that the man had
British s~ympathies, and he gave the
wink to his wife and daughter, who
went out and ordered hot coffee, and
put some tartar emetic In it. Clinton
and the women had cen the stranger
swallow something. a silver bullet
was vomited forth by the man, which.
when unscrewed, had a dispatch to
B~urgoyne's army. Clinton had the
man tried and executed,
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

The Sheep Farmer, Of Oh icago, ia
looking over the condition Of the sheep
interest of the world, claims that there
must soon DO q turn IN favor Of Amer
wool growers. Recent losses OF
millions Of sheep by drought in Aus
tralia. are far from indicating cheap
wool from that country N the future, as
in the past. To avoid the recurrence
Of such losses will require. on the part
OF the Australian sheep farmer, extern
sive expepd lures OF capital, which will
tepd to increase tue cost Of production
and bring the price of wool back to a
standard of value ct which 1t cal be
produced M America with profit. The
sheen lsuds OF Australia are also being
-epcroached upon by vast herds oil cattle
and horses, and the country is yearly
becoming settled up by a population
that Will give a better market Tor wool
and other home products there. The
demand for fine wool has kept pace
with its production, and as wool annot
much longer oe produced in free past
ures. the time must be approaching
When American shepherds will not be
brought into competition with "pauper
wool" as in the past. The time is not
distant when the days of piracy upon
the public domain will be numbered,
both in America and Australia.
The too common mistake of many
farmers has been to change their spe-
cialities with every huetussion in the
market. They plant potatoes this
year because potatoes sold well last
wear, and they abandon the crop as
soon as they pass through a season Of
low prices. Sheep products have their
cups and downs like others, but those
farmers usually do best in the long run
who learn their business thoroughly and
then stitch 10 1t through thick and thin,
through high prices and low prices,
When the market advances for wool,
there will be a brisk demand for sheep
and lambs, both for wool production
and for breeding, and those who pursue
the even tenor OF their way in the bus
mess will be the ones to reap the har-
vest when the tide turns, as it must,
sooner or later.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
The PHILOSOPHY OF TIPS.

A tall, solemn-lookiug man, wearing
a frieze ~overeoat, came into the lava.
tory in the Astor House recently. he
had q brand-new silk hat, which was
set on to advantage by the di~lapidated
wet. day tiles around him. The spruce,
brass. buttoned ats udant sprang for
ward o~bsequ1ously and fell to brushing
the frieze coat with dizziness and solic-
itude. The solemn man let him brush.
Then he lighted a cigar, while the gen
tleman with the brush lodged an1iously
around him. well, what do you
want?" said the solemn man. The
gentleman with the brush grinned sug-
gestively. lyon want me TO fee you,
I suppose. Let US reason on this
thing. This hotel feeds YOU, clothes
you handsomely, puts a 25 cent whisk
in your hand and stands you up here.
What for2 Are you simply for tone and
beauty? Are you put here TO black
mail guests of the house, or are you
supposed to brush them on the same
principle that they get clean towels for
nothing? / am aware that the law re-
cognIzss the acceptance of a service as
al VI az CbAASaAioA
to pay. But this Is IRON q party acting
in the capacity OF an individual. You
are a mere beneficiary, an attachment,
a thing without legal status or standing
in your relations to me. You could
not sue me for payment of this brush
ing. The house only can she. Will
il? No. Why? Because it throws In
brushing with towels. So you see, my
euterprising friend, if you have followed
me, you have neither a Just nor a legal
clam on my purse, Good morning,
and when you are an individual, instead
Of a chattel, come and brush me and
III give you a dime" The solemn
man smiled pleasant and then marched
away. The gentleman with the brush
fell backward against tine wall and
gasped. Suddenly he jumped up and
ran after the solemn man and plucked
him by the sleeve. Il allus pay my
lawyah, sah," said he, with dignity
Heres a quartah, TO de fee"
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

The HAPPY DAYS OF CHILDHooD.-
How beautiful are the innocent and
health-impartlng sports of happy child
hoodl How the middle-aged or still
older heart responds to tender memories
of loeund youth as the boys are seen
absorbed in their merry gamesi "Out
on firstl" No, = isn't either!" 81
tell you It is; you Just come out OF
thatl' "Well, you get me out if you
canl' "Yon bet I can. thought
you're a liar!' You're anotheri'
Smash, crack, bang! hair pulled, gar
ments rolled in mud. blows, mutterlngs
and what Vicor Hugo would call a
formidable breathing, with gruntings
and snortings as the contestants strug-
gle Finally. "There, have you had
enough" eye e-s, let up, VIII you?"
"Were you out or not?' and, after some
mutteripgs, a %grumbling assent. These
are the sounds that come from the va
cant lots Of the city of al afternoon, as
the boys play the merry bat and ball.
Again let us remark, Happy, happy
chilhoodl"
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

az HAVE n OF the best pianos in the
world; it was made to order for me. l
have had it ten years, and it has only
been tuned three times since, and it is
in pretty fair tune now; try it., she
sold, as she opened the lid. "Now.
how often ought a piano to be tuned?"
'.WelI, madam. that depends on what
kind of d piano it is, what sort of care
is taken of IT and who uses it. An
artist has his piano tuned every time he
uses it, professional people every time
it needs it, purchasers of first-class in
struments three or four times a year,
and people with sole-leather ears,
never"
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

Sandys quotes an amusing story In m
Pasquifs iests of a humorous Old
knight who, to make himself merry AT
Christmas, sent for many OF his tenants
and poor neighbors and their wives to
dinuer. He would not allow any OF
them to eat till some one had the cour
age 10 assert that ne ruled his wife.
and to sing a carol on behalf OF his
male friends. No Il cared about
venturing on so hazardous an enter.
PRISE in presence of his better half.
bat at last, with much adoe, after a
dry hemme or two, q dreaming compan-
ion drew out as much as he burst t.,
wards an lll-fsshioned dltty," The
humorous old knight laid a similar
obligation on the women-that none
of them should drink until she thai
ruled her husband had sung a Christ
mas carol. Whereupon every one O
them fell ''tO such a singing that Their,
was neye heard such . eaterwauins
piece of musicke. Whereas sle knight
laughed so heartily that Ii did him a.
much good as his Christmas-pie.'
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
81 Eeel So WelI-t,

81 want to thank you for telling me Of
Dr. Pierce's ''Favorite Prescription,
writes a lady to her friend. 'For a long
time | was unfit to attend to the work OF
my household. l kept about, hut ! fell
thoroughly miserable. l had terrible back
aches, and bear,ng-down sensations ACROSS
me and was quite weak and discouraged.
j sent and got some of the medicine after
receiving your letter, and it has cured me.
u hardly know myself. | feel SO WE'LL
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
uuNOROUs.

"WpY, what tine NATTER Why this
niytlg' a reporter asked Police Judge
con. not muc. he replied. "I was
;,st thinking of au old story that had
ssesped NV memory Tor years. l went
,o ctnrcb last night, which accounts for
"a being recalled. Wien the collection
lox was passed I laughed so that every.
bodv near me must have thought that /
was of"
,,WelI whats the story2"
OTIS only a small thing. It's about
4 fellow who ran vut OF church with a
mil collection box. When be was GO
mo ont of the door somebody suggested
that he was a thief, aud that he was
stealing the contribution money.
"a sanehmomJus old deacon rose
and said: If that man steals that money
- about this time the thief disap.
peared with his haul,
"'Well,' said the minister. jumping
TO his feet. 1T he hasn't stolen the mon
ey III be -''
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
a.plavea Ont,

'Don't know what ails me lately. Can't
and don't enjoy doing anything. Amt
really sick, and l really amt we'll. Feel
all kind O. p'ayed out, someway." That is
what scores of men say every day. If they
would take DIR, Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery" they would soon nave no oc-
easion 10 say it. 1t purifes the blood, tones
up the system and %fortifies it against dis
ease. LII a great anti-bilious remedy as
well.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
CUKED.

An old phyaiciAn, retired from practice, having
had placed 10 his hands by an Kast India mission
AIRY the formula Of q simple vegetable remedy for
me speedy and permanent cure of Consumption,
bIonchltis, Catarrh, Asthma and all throat and
fpT Nervous Debility and ali Nervous alnts,
Aitef having tested its wonderful curative powers
v thousands OF cases, aas felt It his duty TO make
hEnaTn 70 his suffering fslowA Actuated by this
motive and q desire 10 relieve hurran an frerlnU I
WI seno Tree OF charge, 70 all who desire II, this
Tsoaps "a German, French or English, with full
1neotiohS TOT preparing and using. sent by mall
y S1nIeaaing WIN stamp, naming this paper, w.
a MOVES, NV Poloer1s blook. Roehastar. N. Z.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

Hon. James Harlan, ex-Yice ChanceI-
Tor OF Louisville, KY, a brother of JUS
tice Harlan, q. s. Supreme Court, says
of St. Jacobs Oil: 81 use it, and L
know full well whereof l speak in pro-
Douncrng it a most extraordinary cure
for all that is claimed for it by its pro-
prietors. Every family should have it. "
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
DAN, said his spouse to that vel
low individual.

DAN, said his spouse to that yell
Iow-haired individual.
''Whaat?" answered Dan.
"What did you gIt me fur2'
Fur a pet, Of course.
And the way you pet me is ter set
yerself out At the back door, with yer
feet higher'n yer he'd and smoke; an
let me pick up the chips, an weed the
gardin. ami du all the Homework. an
rock the tn bablz, an watch tibet boy
Chubby. an pick green's fur dinner, an
du all the heavy work bout the place,
while We jes smokes an' du the heavy
thinkiu'."
but I'm a %plaunln' er boss trader
.eYaas, probably ye're a plannin'
su hin to Keep shet of work. The best
kind O 'er boss trade is ter work the
boss thet ye'ye got now at his trade an
90 n du the work as needs tn be done
and gittin' o Twin. Yer boss trade is
ter pull the pillow an yer trade is ter fol-
Ter it."
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
Sold by all druggists. ST.; six for s.. Made Onll
by c. l. HooD& CO, Apothecsries, Lowell, Mass
100 Doses One Dollar.
Thousands fastened 10 their
Graves

BY relying on testimonials written in
vivid glowing language of some miraculous
cures made by some largely pulled up
doctor or patent medicine has fastened
thousands to their graves; the readers hav-
ing almost insane faith that the same
miracle will be performed on them, that
these testimonials mention, while the So
called medicine IS all the time fastening
them to their graves. Although we have
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

Too LEAN TO DIE. Amy children"
asked a landlord of a gentleman seeking
a tenement on Cherry street, eyes,
three" mo use talking then; I want
tenants without children" But mine
are not fat enough to KILL" mildly re-
marked the gentleman, as he turned on
his heel,
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
Thousands Upon Thousands!

Of testimonials of the most wonderful cures,
voluntarily sent us, wedo not publish them,
as they do not make the cures, 1t is our
medicine, Hop Bitters, that make the cures.
1t has never failed and never can. We will
give reference 10 any one for any disease
similar to their own if desired, or will refer
to any neighbor, as there is not a nelghbor-
hood in the known world but can show its
cures by Hop Bitters.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

"WHAT is the matter, OLD fellow?
you seem worried" well, I AMIN
being dunned up hill and down dale by
my internal creditors" "Ob. you owe
a large sum of money! 'No, but a
great many small sums. and debts are
like c~hildren-the smaller they are the
more bother they are"
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

JUsr down the intervale, where tue
brake ferns grow rank, she placed her
easel and sat by it sketehing from ma
ture. Please, ma'am, is that me you
are drawing milking that COW in the
p~asture2' why, yes, my little man,
but didn't know you were loosipg.
G z, If that's me" continued the boy,
unmindful Of the artists confusion,
lyon pnt me on the wrong side Of the
COW, ond IN get kicked way of the
lot" Even lady artists need a little
practical knowledge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

Ask for WELLS, RICHARDSON & Cos.
IMPROVED BUTTER COLOR, and take no
other. BEWARE OF all limitations, and
of all other oil e~olors, for every other
one is liable to become rancid and spoil
the butter into which it is put. If you
aannot get it write to US at Burlington,
Vt, to know where and how to get it
without extra expense. Thousands OF
tests have been made, and they always
prove 1t the best.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
A Losing Joke.

"A prominent physician Of Pittsburg said to a
: a lady patient who was complaining of her con-
: ttnued I'll health, and of his inability 10 cure her,
> ~jokinely said: "Iry Hop Bitterslp The lady took
1T In earnest and used the Bitters, from which
she obtaioed permanent health. She now laughed
: AZ the doctor for his joke, but he IL not so well
: pleased with II, as II cost him q good patient.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
AGRICULTURE.

FARMS ought to be the heaitbiest
places in the world. individuals cannot
control cities aud prevent epidemics
arising from filth aud other unheaithy
conditions, but farmers can control
theiz farms in this respect. Fevers are
quite common Oh farms, This shouId
not be so. No tarm, of a healthy loea.
ton, should ever have a case OF fever
on It. some farmers allow weeds to
grow around their houses till they attain
immense proportions. then eut them
down and allow them to lie AMI DECAY
in piles. perhaps in the shade, Some
d0oI-yards are 80 shaded that they
never dry ont. Some farmers allow
great piles OF potato tops TO lie near
tueir dool-yards and decay. On a farm
there are always more or less dec yin
vegetables around the yards, AMI espe-
cially Ht the most sickly season when
peach and apple skins are thrown aroand
and allowed to accumulate with the
sweepings OF the house and other filth
Of the yard, which in process of decay
emit carburetted hydrogen and other
deleterious gases, which III seasons of
frequent rains, followed by hot suns,
render the farm yard unhealthy. Every
farmer can procure road dust and keep
it dry. and after every rain sprinkle his
door yard. Dry earth is the best disin-
fectant in the world, and every farmer
should keep a barrel of dry road dust
on hand, using it freely around his
house III summer, and around his barn,
Gu cken coop and pig pens the year
round. 1t is so cheap that it is not
appreciated as a disinfectant, ibut if
farmers would use more road dust they
would nave less sick children and less
doctor bills.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

TAKEN AT BIS WoRD.-It was nj of
the genus tramp. He knocked at the
door of a house and when q kindly
looking woman opened it he said:
Madam, / am very hungry. | have
had nothing to eat for a week back"
"Why, you poor soul, said the good
woman, "wait a moment and I'll find
something for you"
And she gave him an old porous plas-
ter, and closed the door before he had
finished thanking her.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

DoN'T carry a million sovereigns in
your pocket for fifteen years. In that
time, we ~ told, they will lose in
weight, by wear and tear. one-half of
one per cent. or about $25, 900 and this
sum is an important item AT the present
price of beef.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
nOMESTIC.

r. :
Ntvra PjubucEs. Politics are a
common requirement., and afford bene-
TT and. Igigi ~ ,CaFSs OF swellings due
fg inflammation, gatherings and bois,
and i'm cases of wounds and ulcers.
With the Last two, poUittces should not
,s used Tor, too long a time. Bread
poultice is best made by breaking a
pisaA of bread iGtO,E. previously warmed
basins and pourIDgsbciling water over
it,. Lei 1t soak thoroughly for a few
minutes in q warm place, drain of the
water, spread the pulp smoothly on a
. clean piece.oi linen rag, which should
be large enough 70 allow its margin to
be Iol7ed over the pulp. This should
be applied al d as hot AZ It "a be
borne by the patient. and then covered
with oiled silk or q fold or two Of tlan-
mel. Liuseed-meal poultice consists OF
lusecd meal, four parts; olive oil, one
half part. and boiling wafer ten parts.
Mix the meal and oil. then add the
water, stirring carefully in n direc'
tiou. Tt should be smooth and free
from humps. The rest Is done as de-
scribed for bread pouItlce. Pouitices
should not be held before the fire to
keep them warm, else they become too
hard. Mustard p]oultice Is made OF two
and q half parts OF linsesd meal, two
and a half parts OF mustard IN powder,
andten parts of boiling water. Mix
the meal and water aud then add the
mustard, constantly stirring. 1t IS most
important not to forget a mustard plas-
ter when it is applied to a patient who
is insensible. Remove it in bali an
hour. From twenty minutes to half an
hour is the best time to leave a mus
tard plaster on. Mustard papers, oi
leaves, are often used instead OF the
pouTtice.. To the tender skin a little
violet powder can be applied; or, better
still, a little olive oil upon a soft piece
OF lint.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

ROME, N. Y, june 8, 1888.
"Was thrown against the engine cab and
back and kidneys severely injured.
My water was the color of blood. The
second bottle of HUNTS Kidney and
Liver] REMEDY completely cured me aud
] heartily recommend it."-Henry McGin-
mis-, Engineer, N. Y. @. 81 "a. II. II. II.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
Fees of Doctors.

The fee of doctors at $500 a visit would
tax a man for a year, and in need of daily
visit, over 81, 200 a year for medical attend
ance alOnei And one single Lottle of HOP
Bitters taken in time would save tine 81, 00(
AID all the years sickness.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

FOR DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depression OF spir-
It's and general debility in their various forms; also
as a preventive against fever aud ague aud other
Intermittent fevers, the "Ferro-Phospnorated-
EliSirof Calisaya' made by Csswell, Hazard n Co.,
New York, and sold by all Druggists, Is the best
tonic; and for patients recovering from fever or
other sickness, It mas no equal.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

A YANKEE paper has the following:
"a man who is owing Is a little bill
said he would call last week and pay US
If he was alive. He still appears on
the street; but as he did o call it is
naturally supposed that he is dead and
walking around to saw funeral ex-
penses."
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

Reliability is the test of real value. No
matter how wonderful cures a medicine
sometimes has worked if it cannot be re-
lied on. HUNTS Kidney IND Liver]
REMEDY is neUer knoton TO fail and it has
been used for thirty years.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

II THOUGHT, Miss s., that you hated
that iiirty mink; yet you went up and
kissed her."
$50 1 do hate her, and that is why l
did it. Look at the big freckies on her
chin where l kissed the powder off,"
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

s not TO be feared, but the secret foe should
be carefully guarded againt. The only eff
fective guardian against all forms of kid
ney and liver difficulties is HUNTS kid
pey and Liverl Remedy. 'Never known
to fail" is the motto inscribed on its banner
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

1t may be set down as an axiom that
when a person grows fat he grows
waistful.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

TIE LATE UoLTs As but little SER
vice will be required of the brood mares,
they should never be separated from the
colts. The common practice OF feeding
such mares on limited rations because
they perform no work is wrong. Dar-
ing the winter season the late colts are
worry easily retarded in growth, aud ~
order to keep them in a thrifty condition
the dams must be fed literally. Give
the mares all the hay they will eat. witt
a good feed morning and night, OF two
parts ground oats and one part corr
meal, with a little hnseed meal
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

HOP SYRUP FOR CoUgHs Take iour
handfuls of hops, put IN a porcelain
kettle with one quart of cold water,
simmer to a pint. Pare n slice two
lemons; put then in a pitcher or bowl
With one and a half pounds of granu-
lated sugar, then strain the pint OF
boiling hop extract in the lemon and
sugar, stirring till the sugar Is thor
oRglIy dissolved. The syrup we have
used for many years in our family and
is made from a recipe of DR.. Hendrie.
1t Is an anodyne and expeetorant. pleas
ant to take and excellent in disposing OF
troublesome cough to which we are all
80 liable at this time Of year. 1t Is so
agreeable that our children literally
cry for it," and particularly request a
piece Of lemon in the dose.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21
Frazer Axle reese

Is the very best, A trial will prove we are
flgat. Received first premium at state
Fair, Centennial, and Paris Exposition.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

Don't disgust everybody by hawking,
blowing and splitting, but use DR.. Sage's
Catarrh Remedy and be- cured.
The Penn's Grove record., 1885-03-21

The only answer to ali criticisms, the
true test of all work, is the result, and
when Carboline restores the hair we
know that it is the best Hair Remover.