Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-06-03
BRIGHT BITS.

The extreme depth of misery is a small boy
with new pair of boots and no mud puddle
Wheeling InteiIiGeacer.
HE-"In fact, Miss Lightheart, I've a good
MIND to give up art altogether and volunteer
for active service" She-"Oh. do! l should
like to know somebody in the war ."-Puzach.
A LITTLE grammar is dangerous thing:
Johnny, be good boy, and will take you
TO the circus next year"
Take me now, pa the circus is in the pres
ent tents."-BOston Budget.
A sHAD without bones and woman with
out nerves, it is often said, would be improve
ments upon the order of nature. but for Our
part, since the Lord has not made them other
wise, We are thankful for them as they are
Neeo York Herald.
SBCRETARY-"Gallery not open to the pub
lie yet" Swell-"Oh, nonsense; dive sun
pose m going to take the trouble to come
down here agaln?" Secretary-"Well, sir do
you belong 10 the press?" Swell with scOrn)
Press Now do look life a newspaper fell
lowF'-FUnny Folks.
PRIEsT-"Tell me, Murphy, how came you
by that black eye! Were You lighting, eh?"
Murphy-"Well. indade, | won't decaive yer
reverence. Mike O'Flaherty and myself had
little difference; but sure, If yer reverence
only seen Mick's eve, now, throth you'd say
there was nothin' wrong with mine at all, at
all.''-Judge.
W. F. ANDRoss, of Hartford, Conn, be-
HNeeAbU
farmer in pruning the vines, if they are not
allowed to go too far. That's just our opinion
exactly, but when the bugs act into our pota-
to field we consider that they are going too
far. so long as they confine their operations
TO our neighbours premises we haven't a
word to say against them.-BOstOn Trdnsc1iDt.
''MtR. PRESIDENT" said the entomologist OF
the Agricultural Bureau, 81 beg to inform
YOU that this country will be infested with
swarms of devOuring locusts this year" "Ah.
well, there's no danger. have had a good
deal OF experience with this sort of creature
since my inauguration. Never fear. I'll
simply refer them to the departments, and
that will be the end Of IT. Cbicd0o Neaos.
HE-"Wiu you be my wife, Claribel?" She
with pleasure, Henry Hell suppose
you can furnish references from your last
husbandg" She-"Oh, yes; that is, if | hap
pen to see him. haven't seen him since we
were divorced. But can refer you to my
second husband, whom you know, | believe:
and il you win kindly keep the place open
until can write to my first, l think ] can
give you the best of recommendations" -
Nelo Orleans Picdaune.
THE young men who are disposed to pass on
the other side Of the street, and in other un-
feeling WAYS dodge ice-c cream saloons when
out walking with their dear girls. should re-
member that all during the long winter these
same girls cheeriully and uncomplainingly
furnished lights and fuel for their comfort
and the little cream, strawberries and SINH :
lar necessities they are now willing to accept
or pAv az iueuSluAtt ItbNEu. at the Dtst, IOF
the last winters favors. Nashville Union.
WITH creaby shoes a stranger treads
The echo haunted aisle.
And all the people turn their heads
To see the man the preacher breads.
The man who makes folks smile.
For strategems he is not fit,
Nor yet for treason's role
For he who like ghost doth fit,
And in front pew calmly sit,
Hath music in his sole.
.. Christian Adpocdte