davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Women are the hardest conun-
drums ever given to man, and yet man
never seems to be willing to give them
up.-M Y. Ledger.
1t is supposed that out of eighty pei
cent. who remembered the poor, about
eight per cent. gave something to them.
---RoSton Transcript.
Yes, my boy" said an old min
ister to his son, who was going out to
do battle with the world; ''be as wise as
a serpent and as harmless as dove;
but if you forget any part of this ad-
vice do not forget that part about being
as wise as a serpent. Boston Courier.
The man that I marry" said
Clara, ''musG be handsome, rich, brave,
clever and good-tempered." "But how
viii you discover that he possesses all
those qualities?" 81 can see for myself
if he is handsome and can easily ascer-
tain if he is rich, l don't so much mind
about the Others. Philadelphia Record.
What name does your husband
call you by?" said bride to a friend
who had been married several years;
''does he call you ducky or lovyp My
Mine used to call me popsey-wopsey,
but he doesn't use that term now"
''What does he call you, then?" ''He
calls me, Say, thereP' IN T. Sun.
How much for candyP" said
little boy. ''Six sticks for five cents, eha
Now, lem me see; six sticks for cents,
five for cents, four for cents, three
for cents, two for l cent, and one for
nothing. I'll take one stick, mister"
He got it, but the dealer is still in
state of bewilderment, and can't see
how that can be.-MontreaI (CanddaJ
FITNESS.
az used to think Edmund an
ANGEL sighed Madeleine ''Matri-
mony, however, opens ones eyes, and
find him perfect bear" 30, how de-
lightful!' exclaimed Sylvia, clasping
her hands and looking unutterable
things. ''Delightful?" echoed Made
leine, in amazement. ''Yes, delightful!
Tell me, dear, isn't bear one of those
awful animals which hug one to death?
Yes, know it is! How happy you must
bep' Madeleine had tainted. oil Citg
Blizzard.
-''You don't cook like Sary Ann
used to, Matilda" he said, in tones OF
gentle, exasperating reproof; mo, it
seems to me you can't cook like Sarv
Ann used to-" On another occasion it
was: You're not as smart in gettin'
round as Sary Ann was, Matilda. You
don't appear to ketch on where she left
off. p" About this time heavy rolling
pin came in contact with his head
what do you mean by that, you vix-
enP" he exclaimed in agony. 'Im
doing some of the work Sary Ann neg
lected," she replied, and there was
much peace in the family thereafter.-
philadelphia Record.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02
BELLEVUE, La, THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1885. 4r

scendants viii be prosperous; if it passes
at another angle distress will overtake
them. This compass, so necessary in
determining every location, has twelve
cyclical characters, analogous to the
twelve signs of the zodiac, inscribed at
equal distances around the outer circle.
The first is at the northern extremity,
and is placed at the back of the tomb
which, unless for special reasons, al
ways faces south. The order in which
the signs are read and calculations made
is from east to west, according to the
diurnal motion, as it appears to them, of
the sun and stars. Ii bend in the wa
ter course is noted to the north, it indi-
Gates that the descendants, if poor, will
be thieves, or. if rich, that they will be
robbed. If the same sign appears on
the northeast, it shows that the de-
scendants will die young or be left wild
ows, or worse still, men without chill
dren. If the bend in the water course
occurs to the east they will become vag-
abonds. At the next point disturbance
and rebellion are indicated. At the next
snake will grow of itself in the tomb,
causing restlessness to the bones of the
deceased, and, consequently. to the for
tunes of his posterity, bringing the evil
wind of unhappy destiny with special
force to blast their prospects.
The water in front of a tomb should
never be stagnant, but always running
in a stream. Riches and rank are
supposed to flow capriciously from point
to point, hence so much depends on the
course of the water as it flows by the
tomb. The cutting of roads or the
building of bridges or dams may alter
the course of the water and disturb she
natural influences of the place, and a
man may be ruined in fortune by the
displacement of hundred weight of
earth behind the grave of his grand
father. -..- 8.
In building houses, ancestral halls,
temples, and laying the foundation of
villages, the service of the geomancer
is absolutely necessary to secure the
proper conjunction of good influences.
In front of a village, for instance, a
straight road leading directly out of it,
with people going and coming. or a
small stream flowing in a straight
course from it, are said to dissipate the
good influences. An open air altar, a
bamboo grove or groves in front, and to
have the left side low and the right
high, are all unlucky signs. The great
antidote for this system of grossest
error is the spread of Christian science.
True knowledge of astronomy and
physical geography will do much to
break down this mass of superstition
which has covered the whole face of
nature with mantle of sinister infu-
ences and made a mans personal
virtue, as well as his outward pros
perity, depend upon the physical
surrounding of his home or the location
of the tomb of some remote ancestor. -
B. G. Henry, in Washington National
Republican.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02
NlPPED IN THE BUD.
A Social Calamity Averted by Little
Explanation.

A Social Calamity Averted by a Little
Explanation.
He looked all around to see if any
body was within hearing, and then
dropped his voice to whisper and said:
"Boss, I reckon you kin gin me a
leetle information. What does pusson
do when he elopes?"
"Why, an elopement is when man
and woman or boy. and girl run away
together"
"Whar' do dey 60 top
30, anywhere they decide upon"
"Who pays de expenses?"
"The man, of course"
"How long am dey gomez"
Sometimes week-sometimes for
ever"
"Who pays de expenses back?"
''The man."
"What becomes of de woman's hus-
bandp'
"Well, he generally arms himself with
a shotgun, and if he overhauls the
couple he shoots seven kinds of day-
light through the man and forgives his
wife and takes her home
go de Lawd! Shoots right at ye?"
Eyes"
Fills ye right full o shotP"
. yes"
'.Doan' gin We no time to run or re-
pent, an can't be bought off wild a
silver watch and $2?"
mo, sir"
"Now! Sayr'
: 5.tWell"
Il isn't gwine! rze changed my
mind! Good yw-Detro1 Free Press
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02
ROLLER SKATING.

The Furor Which Prevails in One of the
Towns of Maine.
A man by the name of Brown left a
village in this State about two years ago.
Last week he returned, and just as he
was strolling down the street of his ma
tive village he met a farmer by the
name of Smith who was not prosperous
when he left, and lived just outside the
village. Brown was surprised to see
the stranger attired in dress-suit, with
silk hat and big diamond pin blaz-
ing on his shirt-front, and he inquired:
been to funeral to-dayP"
"Why, bless you, no.
"No? see you have got on your best
clothes; are you farming yet?"
Farming! Well, / should say not.
! am running rollerskating rink down
here"
'Where is your son JimP"
30, he's running rink"
''And your daughter Lize?'
'sShe is skating under the manage
ment of Tim Jones in the Maine rinks. :"
''And your wife?"
"Sheskipped out with Prof. Meechin,
an instructor whom hired when | first
opened the rink.
''Is Elder Longsermon preaching here
stillP''
mo; he resigned from the ministry
and is now rink instructor"
Who's preaching in the place."
Nobody"
Nobody? What's the matter?'
Church turned into a skating-rank. :"
.'You don't say sop
''Yes, true as preaching
where's Bill Beck, the grocery
man?'
He went out of business a year ago.
He's got the ice-cream stand down in
my rink"
''Pshaw! Where's Aunt Sally Bakon
and Deacon SchultzerP"
s'Why. dang it all, they are travelling
around visiting rinks, doing the old
man and woman act on skates. tell
you they're immense"
Say, Dan, what became of your old
shepherd dog, Cairo?n
''Darned if the dog didn't get the fever
and one day he sneaked in behind the
place where keep skates to hire. put
on pair, and rolled out on the floor
Just as nice as any human being, when
alIof sudden his hind pair of skates
got mixed up with his tai, which tripped
. him up, and he fell backwards and
broke his neck"
s. Poor dog"'
Gosh. can't help crying when
think of his sad and tragic end. "
ais there anybody left in this town
who does not skate?p
"Yes,i
Where are they?"
up in the cemetery on the hill."-
Bangor (1ie. Commercial
Horses that are not free drivers vii
require less urging if driven with bri
die with blinds, - Rhitqdelphiq Press.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02
The Dress of Great Men.

Daniel Webster usually wore suit of
snuff-brown color, with a large soft
neck-tie. Martin Van Buren was very
fastidious about his clothes, and always
appeared during the summer in the
whitest of white linen duck. His clothes
were cut in the latest styles, and he
wore very high stock neckties, out of
which peeped his standing collar. An
drew Jackson also dressed well, though
he did not make his clothes great
matter. Henry Clay wore swallow
tail, and standing collar extravaganza
ly high. James Buchanan was always
very precise in his clothes, always ap-
pearing in full dress.-WashiDgton Cor.
Cleveland Leader.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02
DULL DAYS.
Why Some Merchants are so Sensitive 20
FIuctuation of Trade.

Why Some Merchants are so Sensitive 20
Fluctuation OF Trade.
"Why is it that merchants are so sen.
sitiye to the fluctuations of trade? /
have been in two or three stores to-day
and they all spoke of its being re-
markably duh day--but little doing
and appeared quite blue. They have
had a good trade right along, and ]
should think they would rather relish a
quiet day, now and thenp'' interroga-
lively spoke citizen yesterday to a re-
porter. The reporter replied: Have
you ever thought of the peculiar situa-
ton of the dry goods merchant He
pays large rent, he must have good
force of clerks, he must burn gas freely
and then goods are sold very low now.
His margins are very small and his sales
must be large to make his profits equal
his expenses. Every merchant knows
just what his daily expenses are. The
largest retail dealer in the city can tell
you just what his expenses are per min
ute. When the merchant locks at his
cash book and sees the money coming
in slowly, he realizes that every moment
he is losing money, for his expenses
are the same, trade or no trade. If his
expenses are 5000 or $500 per day, you
see he may lose money rapidly and
there is no wonder that he is sensitive,
for men don't like to see the cash ac.
count run against them, even for day.
OF course, some are more sensitive to
these wrong side accounts than others.
Some scarcely notice a days slaekness
in trade, making their calculations on
longer time-a week or a month-and
compensate for to-day's light business
by saying that it will be all the more
active tomorrow. He is, in many re-
spects, a lucky man. Hope always
keeps him in good spirits, while the
merchant who broods over days dull
ness casts a gloom over the entire estab.
lishment / sometimes think it would
be better if the merchant could only see
weekly or monthly statements of ac-
counts, but of course they want to
know where they stand each day, and
perhaps, as a rule, that is best, yet te
some it may be the cause of certain
degree Of nnhappiness. Toledo Tele-
| gram.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02
VOLUME XIV.
AcARBoNIFERous coNcEIT.

Back. my love, in the aons of time,
Ere man on earth did dwell
In the dreamy carboniferous cline,
Perchance | loved thee well,
The self-same question may have asked
That now sets your cheeks aglow.
When we were saurians and basked
In the sunshine of long ago.
The rich green ferns as a carpet spread
At the foot of stately trees,
That lazily rustled over head
In the languid tropical breeze.
They knew our love, and witnessed the
truth
OF the burning words told
To you when the world was in its youth,
In sunny days of old
But the sunny day was night at last,
Our former selves were clay;
Into the shade of a vanished past
Our Joy was swept away.
o.
The sharp, cold wind is blowing,
Driving the fallen snow,
But the coal in the CRATE is glowing,
And tell me, love, do you know
The fire-light fash is telling
A tender tale and true,
How with love our hearts are swelling,
A love that is old, yet new?
For the gentle light is the same, love,
That kissed US in days of old,
And though ages has held the truth, love,
That once to the trees we told.
Let the storm-king ride in icy pride;
Heed not the wind and snow;
Darling, again l am at your side,
In the sunshine of long ago.
--Thomas p. Conant, IN Hdrper's Bazar.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02

Wyoming Territory has gone crazy
over onion sociables. Six ladies take
an onion with them into room and
one of them takes bite out Of it. Then
a young gentleman is admitted, and if
after kissing them all he fails to tell
which of them bit the onion ell the girls
are obliged to kiss him.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02

Heart disease takes man worth
$40, 000,00 are the head lines in
Buffalo paper. We never have heard a
woman called that before; but it isn't an
inappropriate name. when you stop to
think about it.-Puck. a 9&sist a
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02

--Thaddeus Louis Poniatowski, a
grandson of the King of Poland, has
gone west to become cowboy. The
first thing his festive companions of the
plains will do will be to abbreviate that
name into something less jaw-breaking.
Tribune.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02
A Novel Traffic.

The cowboys here, writes a. Midland,
(Tex.) correspondent, in the good
weather are doing little business on
their own account by killing wolves
with strychnine for their hides. The
hides they send to Chicago, getting a
fair return for them. A New York
woman, who came out here to keep a
hotel. with her husband, has started up
an interest in curlews' wings which are
fashionable adornments for ladies hats,
and the cowboys are killing curlews
now by the score. The eurlew is abun-
dant on the staked plains, and their
wings, which are brownish green, with
splashes of dark brown and green, are
very good backgrounds in millinery for
a few more brilliant feathers. The cur
lew nests in the prairies by scraping up
some dry grass under tuft of gramma
grass. They drop four eggs into the
nest, and it is as rare as to discover q
four-leaf clover to find a nest where the
four small ends of the eggs are not to-
gether. The curlews' wings bring ten
cents a pair e.-Midland, fTer J
Cor. Chicago Times.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-04-02

"A fashionable Chinese lunch con-
sists of little bits of cold chicken with
sauce, little bits of hot chicken boiled to
rags, morsels of pork with mushrooms,
fragments of cold duck with some
other sort of fungus, watery soup.
scraps of pigs kidneys with boiled
chestnuts, very coarse rice, picked GU
cumber, garlic and cabbage, patty of
preserved shrimps, all in infnitesimal
portions, so that, but for the plentiful
supply of rice, hungry folk would fnd
it hard to appease the inner wolf! All
these are eaten with the deceptive chop,
sticks. which are as easy to use as two
Faber lead-penciis. Tiny cups of rice
wine. followed by more tea, complete
the repast,
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1885-10-04

ADVOCATE may bear their best
thoughts to its readers.
To THE Resi-, Perhaps curiosity
may lead some Of the rest 10
pcrusc this ISSUE. If the ideas put
forth should cause them 10 stop and
think, then We have accomplished
some good. Among the rest are
the supiu"Iy indifferent and the
enemies of the cause Of humanity,
To the first We say, rouse yourselves,
To the latter, reform, Those who
will not be guided by the &l"usof the
times; who stubboru)y oppose pro
@rcss; the bigotcd and unbcndmg.
can only be dealt with by hard facts
and We leave them to the mcrrIrs
Of a righteous future.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1885-10-04

II rs Il little strange that strong
and .hCallhA men of talcrabir intpIIi-
gcnrc and common bcncyolcncc
should feel quite right in conscience
to live in luxury and grow rich on
the proceeds Of drudecry that kills
and brutaIMcs mnocrnt girls. It
seems to lis like Stmluing 1T gnat
and swallowing IN a camel 10 rave at
prostitution and never say Il word
against Il system Of labor which dr-
SpolIS youth Of its freshness and ioy
and sets the mark Of suffering and
oId aye upon young faces. j. +
Working women suffer more than
men from the crush Of competition
and the creed Of @raSpIng SrIi.hnrSs.
They have more TO hope for in the
nadIUstmrnl of society 10 meet the
requirements Of intelligent and self
respecting labor. They are now for
the most part drwlgcS, and drudgrry
Kills the body and dmns the soul.
Let them not he forgotten in these
days Of agitation and in the coming
struggle for equity between capital
and labor, IlUNw Press.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1885-10-04

II is said that Brother Wheeler
recently sent a communication 10
the county commissioners in opposi-
tion to the granting of license to
saloon keeper because it was an IN
crnJlyc 10 his men to Spend their
money and time there. Now, Broth
cI Wheeler, how is that you allow
your slaves to board in Il house with
a gIn-mjlI attachment; BE- more
consistent, Brother Wheeler.
The Empire State Type Founding
Company Of 81 and Is frankie
Street, New York, furnished the
beautiful types from which this pa
per Is printed. Besides being all
practical men in the type founding
business, they are very pleasant gen
tIrmru to have draIn@, with.
Til" wjrcdrawrrs Of this city speak
we'll Of Mr.. James H. MrtIrn, the
genial editor Of the Worcester Iinr>.
His editorials on labor matters have
the right ring, and are in great con-
Ir1SI to he ynnonnIls .lrl h, Ia- .nl,intnI
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1885-10-04

The hat making business seems to
IL ENJOYING Il regular boom. South
NorWnlk factories are ca!lm" for more
help. Both cooperative shops are
very busy. and both would give en-
pIoymrnt to more men If they could
get them. The same rush of business
Is reported in all the hating ccntcrs,
The Union label is now promised TO
be ready for the spring trade.
Chinese slave labor threatens to
oNcrWhclm native Workmcn and
drive them to the wall in the North
west In" people are aroused, and
demand that the importation of
coolies shall cease, and that those
already III the country shall leave.
Congress has been called upon to
protect the natives against the
Chinese.
The South NorWaIk Sentinel feels
the boycott Of the citizens whom it
50 looIishIy antagonizcd ever since
the matters strike Now it wants
the Respectable" people to join it in
Il crusade against the organized
Workmrn; but Editor Golden will
find that the respectable people
are ON the other side
The boycotting Of Peter Dodgers
beer is being vigorousIy carried ON by
the New \ ork Central Labor Union,
and has extended outside Of New
! ork. AnSonla reports that the Docl-
GER article Is entirely eliminated from
that place. Those who think they
must drink beer should avoid that of
Peter Doclgcr.
Senator Thurman, Of Ohio. said
II have been nine years in the Sen
ate. ! know of IL good deal Of lcgs-
Iaton adverse to the interests of the
t#D@ etH., .ut /. there ld hrrn
amy 80 ,b..g Iasa 49, escaped nav
observation.
me ov-vrvl~~..a Natchcaat Com
pany, Of brooklyn, begin business
this week. They couldn't stand the
unjust treatment of the bosses any
longer, and have been on strike for Il
long time. Now-rhey are~ss-,M'"y
it right.
The miners in the Hooking Valley
have succeeded in increasing their
pay from 40 to 80 cents per ton. In
the Tuscawaras Valley the miners.
allcf Il Strlkc OF short duration, com
promised on G5 cents ton.
English window gIassworkcrs are
beng v'rt'mlzcd by their employers
h"cauSc they joined the X. Of l..
Nevertheless, the good work goes on.
1t is reported that the printers of
Philadelphia are organizing into the
h. of H. in addition to THEN Inter
national Union.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1885-10-04
SONG OF THE CLERK,


After Hood
He leaned 'gainst the high-picd shelves.
And inS eyes were heavy and red,
His arms were rigid, his fingers were
numb,
And light and dizzy his head
And h" sang this song thro' the evening
long,
Until most ni rs We're in bed
Oh, for the evening air.
And a sight Of the setting sun.
I" strengthen the nerve and brighten the
eye.
When my tedious day is done,
Nnd Il httlr play. each Saturday.
When my hHrd-rarncd wage is won.
Well Tor the Woodworking man.
Tho his hands have horny grown.
II" has the wealth of yigor and health.
And the strength OF muscle and bone:
He feels as free ~ the wind ON the sea.
When he calls his evening his own.
Well for the volunteer,
When his hard campaign is Ger.
For now h" can rest on his laurrls green.
-Nnd lilnk OF llS tolls no more;
For th" b"Ncd-up clerk it is constant work,
And 'prisonment sad and sore.
Oh, ladies, tender and true,
oh, sisters. 50 fresh and fair
Some pity own for lis, haggard gown,
And give us the evening air!
We wait all day, till strength Gibbs away
On We who have time to spare.
Oh, for the evening air.
And a sight of the setting sun.
To strengthen the nerve and brighten the
eve
When my tedious day Is done.
And an easy rest on the Sabbath hlest,
Instead of a WORKOUT one
" y Journal
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1885-10-04
LABOR NOTES.


rhoro ara oh,ut ,,o ooo u.oo,o-
vorkrrs I,horor. and artisan. IN
chio,oo .,,J nn u,n,,,o,. If t.,J,.
and o.cu,.,.on..o r all Kind, ro,ro
scented there is in round figures 500.
OF these but Il are organized on Il
strictly soriAIistic basis. while ?5
others are undcr fine central Of fine
yarious KNIGHTS or Labor and Trade
organizations makjnoo total Of 1Oor-
oanizrd trades out Of 500 or : NOR
cent The yocialists nronosn to or.
oanizc every trade and every occun,-
patton ON a sociaIistic hasis thot is
Of course, wherever fine Influence and
| the tcachjnos Of fine socio]ists can
cain . sufficient rootino Hall. hov.
,r.,q, .......aF e.. Az. whnIo yo,y,,
t...,La...,.. .f...u ,..........
="mbho% "0 N@th' ."E '0@ht and
Sundays, at ~hsvu .Hrrge.dand alns
Of tie socialists will be publicly ca
pounded.
Tho Cioarmakcrs' International
~. = L. = II "a,