Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-02-24
BRIGHT BITS.

LADY-"YOu have no heauX, cousins, or
men to bother around. hopeF' servant
seeking q place)-"NaTy "a won, mum: only
an Ould haste of husband. "-BOston Beacon.
"HEY, sambo, VIVA dye leave 70 'ast
bOardin' place fur" "O1, dey charge too
much fur dis yer darkey." "Wha' dey charger"
"Dey charge me wifi stealin' de spoons, and
so lef. = IadeDendeRt.
A NEW VERsIoN.-Sunday school teacher
''What is meant by the words, 'Quench not
the spiritT" Bright scholar-"Please,m ma am,
my father says he gUesses as how 1t means
don't put too much water IN H."-B0sfo1t
Transcript.
SOME Of the English papers are comparing
Mrs. Dudley, who shot Rosa, to Jael, who
drove nail into the head Of Sisera Jael,
we believe, was the only woman who ever
drove a nail without stopping to blow on her
fingers Burlington Free Press.
SHE wore a No. slipper,
Was flip and couldn't be ripper;
She went down to the rink,
And what do you Think
She kicked hole through the Great Dip
per. -IRdjGndpOIis Journal.
any LovE?" said a fond husband to his
practical bride lnqulrngly. Yes; what IS
it," she answered. what would you think
if your own dear hubby should die this very
night2" 'I'd think what pity 1t was didn't
know Of it in time to have another life insur
ance policy or two issued on him in my favor
Scissors.
FRANK TOBBs was young fellow earning a
good salary. but saving none of 1t. and he
finally married. A short time ago he met a
friend and told him about it. GLOW long
have you been marriedF' inquired the friend.
Two years or more nave you dec, aFe ca
any dividends" "Oh, yes.' How much:'
Twins. "-Erery Saturday.
He was playing whist, and taking up a
hand bristling with spots and wholly lacking
trumps, he scOrnfully said: Bring me "A
cat, will your" What for?" asked his as
hw~ I roaf ft,rr
to play with" Silence as of the grave fol-
lowed and the wind howled without.-Detrot
Free Press.
'sOrR people want only the freshest in the
dramatic market" said the Dakota dramatic
critic to the representative OF an Eastern ira
gedian. II know this Merchant Of Venice,
you talk about. I saw it in Salt Lake as far
back as 81. No such wOrmy chestnut will go
down with a cultured community that had
Young Mrs. Winthrop and the Bandit King
three months after they were brought out at
Drury Lane
WHEN Egypts famous river rises,
There Is a Nile elated,
And spite of divers queer devices,
The land is inundated;
But when the Mahd1s force uprises,
In action animated,
And cruelty John Bull chastises,
The foes annlhi ated.
--Neo0 York Journal.
4 LEGAL OATH
"DO you" said Bessie tOther day,
"In earnest love me, as you say,
Or are those tender words applied
Alike TO fifty girls besides"
Dear, cruel girl" cried /, "forbear,
For by those eyes, those lips, / swear
She stopped me, as the oath took,
And cried: "YOU'ge slGOrn-nO1C kiss the book"
Omaha Republican.
This is a sac, sad world" murmured Dea-
con Goodman. as he mechanically unlocked
the door of a corner cabinet.
Indeed it is. indeed it is" assented Deacon
Betterman, alphabetically. mo JOY is I'M
alleged"
True. very true" answered Deacon Good
man. as he put some sugar into two glasses
and added some liquid from a black bottle.
You like yours this way, suppose, broth
err
''Yes, yes" was the sad reply. 1--WE all
have to take the bitters with the SWEET
PhilddeIDhid cal.
A POPULAR preacher and ex sailor, both OF
GrOtOn, met on State street one day and spoke
thus:
'.Im full" said sailor.
''Is that sOg" said preacher.
"Yes; I've got in 1000 tons of good, clear
ice"
''Hope you didn't work Sunday"
"Well, did, you know"
"Then. hope your house and contents will
burn down."
lyon -, did you ever hear of stone
house packed full Of ice burning?'-Ne1c Lon