Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-07-11
BRIGHT BITS.

FTNANCIAL NOTE: The Secret of the Brook"
is q late poem. The secret Of the brook must
he the knowledge OF what ID going on between
the banks.-BoStoa Post.
If these personal memories continue to be a
feature OF the leading magazines we viii be
led after awhile to believe that there wasn't
an inferior General In the country. PhiIa-
det0hi1 CAL.
A MARKLEsBuRG MOTHER, having occasion
10 reprOve her little 7-year-Old daughter for
playing with some rude children. received for
reply: well, ma, some folks don't like bad
company, but always did. "--AHo0nG Tttb-
URe.
WHAT distinguished people did you see
when you were abroad" was asked Of Mira.
Dohbs on her return from China. ''Oh lots of
them. But the one that took my fancy was
Wan Lung. the heIr-cOnsumptive to the
throne. "--Jgdge.
A SCIENTIFIC PAPER says that ''few drops
OF ammonia in cup of warm rain water,
carefully applied with wet sponge, win re-
move the spots from chrOmOs." What is most
needed is something that VIII remove the
chromO.-LV71n Bee.
THERE is a man living in this city who has
never heard his wife say a cross word to him.
n Bile is deaf: Another one, also in this
CITY. Is simllarly fortunate. n. Bills wife
If dumb. These are the only cases known at
present.-B0stob Post.
A STREET CAR conductor careleRslv carried
his bell punch home and allowed his children
to play with It. The next day the company
informed m that he was 1900 900 fares short
He has offered to leave his children IN pawn
until he makes up the mOney.--Ye1o York
Star.
A CHICAGO HOTELKEEPER had man re
Gently arrested for stealing 2 cake of SOAP.
! The man pleaded. in exclamation Of his
nflense, that he wanted It Tor his collection of
curioslties, 1t being the first cake of soap he
| had ever discovered in Chicago hotel.-Chj-
cdgO 4 dCOcdte.
JUDGE MONTGOMERY, of California. now
Assistant Attorney General, who claims TO be
the liomeliest man in America, came very
near not getting an appointment as, when he
exhibited his mug and made application, he
was told that no more Ohio men need apply
-Whereupon .he explained. -EschGnge.
A MAN who started in Nebraska 90 years
ago with nothing but a wife and a stand of
bees now has house with a splendid mort
gage on It, gate with two hinges, and two
daughters who swing on the gate and are
called honey. His wife, who was an indus
trious creature. has secured a DIVORCE
Phf5ddeiDhi0 NetCS.
THE golden summer time
Again is near its prime.
The meadows and the orchards are in bloom,
bloom, bloom,
And with the early apple
The small boy soon will grapple,
And cramps will bring him very near the
tomb, tomb, tomb. Boston Courier.
THERE are various ideas of patriotism;
among them are firing crackers or getting
drunk on the Fourth Of July, holding govern
ment offices, making people tired with cee-
bration speeches, travelling with cracked
Liberty bells on subscription. parading with
brass bands and the like. To risk ones life
for his country and say nothing about it is OBJ
s0lete.-Nei0 orleans PicdWtne.
"Say, how is this2' asked Western railroad
director; 1.-THE road earned 81, 900 last year,
and we paid a dividend Of 10 per cent"
Yes" replied the President, calmly.
''This year we earned $4,000, and there ia
a deficit Of $4,000. How is this2 l don't I'M
derstand il at ALL"
II see you don't" replied the President,
kindly; "the deficit is TO pay for the dividend
last year. "-PWck.
A Fox one day met Peasant and Remarked
that he took great Pleasure in Informing him
that he had Decided to Reform his Conduct.
well, am Heartily Glad of it." replied TIE
Peasant, "and will do all can TO strengthen
your good Resolutions" Next day as the Fox
Approached tho Peasants Cottage the man
came out and CluDbed him on. us this the
way You Strengthen my eoOd Resolution"
exclaimed Reynard IN a voice Of Pathos. ''The
less YOU see Of my Chickens the more ant you
will be to stick to your good Intentions" re-
piled the Peasant as he heaved another Club.
Moral: Don't leave your Watch and Re
formed Burglar Hanging on the same Nall
Detroit Free Press.