The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1885-12-18
FoR MOTHERs-IN.LAW

A Mechanical Bed Which Is In
Great Demand by Young Hus
bands.
Duselnleyer waS "a commercial
traveller. He travelled in wine
There was also a good deal OF win'
in Duselmeyer when he Travelled
as be always had his sample case;
handy. Duselmeyer was very en-
ergetic. He rushed things. Fol
this reason he always Travelled by
night III Il Sleeper. He never Slepl
Except when travelling. This be
came second nature with him.
One day he received "a Telegram
that bis aunt died abruptly. She
was rich, and she had lett Ill hel
property to Duseiuteytr. He was
a I1cli man all at once. He ceased
to travel for other people. He cS.
tabiished himselfin business. He
had every luxury he could thluk Of.
He desired to lead Il quiet life, but
alas! lie could not Steep. He had
become accustomed TO the noise
aud racket OF a railroad train. 1t
nearly drove hun distracted.
In a short time Duselmeyer, the
%rubicund, Jolly drummer, began to
fade away, like a flower. He wilt.
ed visibly. He subscribed to sew
eral humorous papers and read
them, but still he did not sleep. He
tried elec-hOmeO, and all the 9th
er pathIcs, and they failed to make
him drOwsy. he became thin, aud
looked like Il man OH the edge OF
sarcOphagus.
1t occurred to Duselmeyer to Wis.
it a ueighboring city to consult y
celebrated doctor. AS soon as the
tram was III motion he fell asleep.
He slept as sound as in Gu.
tire board of alderman in session.
The shaking, humping, rattling of
the cars, the whistling OF the loco.
motive, the banging of the car door
by the conductor made him drOwsy.
Duselmeyer was in his element. He
had discovered the proper remedy
for his sleeplessness. Whenever
he felt sleepy he got on the train.
After awhile this grew mOnotOnous.
Ii was also very expensive.
A happy thought occurred TO
DuSelmeyer. He Euew IA mechan-
ic who Vas IL genius IN his way.
Duselmeyer explained that he
wanted a railroad bed. He wanted
Il bed that would rattle, jump
about like d ca, blow @ steam, aud
snort like locomotive. The me-
chanlcal genius went TO work, aud
in II short time be had the bed
ready.
1t was brought into the bed room
aud that night he tried it. He
touched a button. The bed swaged
about, ratified aud jumped. Every
few inmates there was Il sound, as
If a door was banged. Every once
in a while it snorted like Il loc0mO.
tive. How happy was DuSelmeyer!
He slept like Il top. He dresmpt
that he was in Heaven, and he saw
the mechanical genius With II halo
around his head like i SAINTS.
When he awOke be was being
shook up just us it he was travelling
OH a limited express. 1t snOrted
beautifully.
SNOW" said Duselmeyer, "l1l
just slow up, aud get out at the
next station
He was not quite sure which was
the right button to press in order
to stop the bed. lie pressed one
Of the buttons, but the result was
he was nearly shaken out of bed.
He had pulled open the throttle.
valve, and the bed was going
through all the motions of a light.
ming express tram running at the
rate Of seventy miles al hour.
Duselmeyer pressed another but
tou. Whew! There was Il shrek
Of danger from the steam whistle.
There waSa strange grindingSouud.
The bed began to buck like II Texas
COW pony. At last it hurled DuSel.
meyer against the wall with fright.
ful violence, aud tumbled over on
one side.
Duselmeyer was not fatally in.
jured by the bed being ditched.
The mechanical genius was sent for.
He explained that be bad forgotten
to tell Duselmeyer about the at
tachmeUt for jumping the track.
However, Duselmeyer had found
out all about it without any assis
tance. Duselmeyer, in the mean.
time, had got married, and his
wife's mother carried out a previous
threat of paying the unhappy cou-
pie a visit. She even went so far
as TO hint that she was going to
make him two visits a year-each
one to last six months.
What did the wicked Duselmeyer
dot He put the railroad bed
which Outwardly looked like any
other bed-into the oldlady's roOp,
aud he sneaked in after she was
fast asleep aud put the machinery
to work. How she beloved aud
went on In her freuzy she touch
the button that threw the train in
the ditch. Once more the bed as.
serted itself. The old lady carom-
ed on the ceiling, aud next morn.
ing she said she preferred a quiet
life at her owe home. Duselneyer
hnnnrn1 her whima in this resnncf