The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1885-07-30
THE MERRY SIDE !!

This weather is a great leveler of society. Th'
basis.
1t should be remembered by everybody tina
when the Prince of Wales stopped his pape
he paid up.
Portsmouth is afraid she will lose her stree
railroad. If there is a need for it, it will be sup
ported; and live.
"oh, the Democrats are just dying to get al
| Foraker" At the same time they are squarins
| around to be kicked.
1.-THE last edition of Miss Cleveland's s book is
nearly exhausted" says an exchange. The
| public is in the same fix.
Business organizations should have better
titles. An old topper out west walked until he
died, searching for the "Whislzy Pool"
Lightning doesn't strike through glass. That
| is possibly the reason so men keep glass be-
tween their heads and the sky, SO much.
Sam Jones, the Georgia revivalist says 'when
the great willipus- -wollipus of Christianity
passes over humanity it levels all alike. Good,
Sam Send on the 'wollipus!
A farmer near West Baltimore, Ohio, killed
snake over twenty feet long. Not reported
how long he bad had it, nor the grade of whis-
ky used.
The "polled augus' breed of cattle are des-
tined to become popular in this country. They
are all "mulies.". But the cowboys like a horn
or two now and then.
Alvin Ham, Kentucky Sheriff, died of ty-
phoid fever. a Sheriff dying natural death
in Kentucky? Why, they must have been out
of ammunition.
The Democrats have scored another victory
for the labor interests of the country. They
have destroyed the ship-buiidng interests of
John Roach-in the name of Reform.
Several New York millionaires tried to get
into London clubs, and were snubbed and
blacl1balled. This calls for declaration of war
against the blarsted Britishers.
Our Democratic exchanges are fairly owling
for debate between Foraker and Leonard.
They ,pe such thing will come up TO dis
tract: tention to the Democratic ca ndidate.
Song of the Fall: "Vote for a c-h-a-n-g-e
Cleveland will give us a ch-a-a-a-n-g-e
Song of the Summer: CAV, Cleveland haint
got nuthn to do 'th this !"
The dispatches say that Bro. Newman, who
has rheumatism, "hobbled up to the Collectors IS
Office in Chillicothe." But poor fellow can
stand good deal of hobbling for such a posi-
ton.
A nu mber of gentlemen were standing on the
Jackson Court House, the other day, who de-
clared they "were watching for the hot wave"
"Ju-ly ~ exclaimed loafer.
Tom Giles, of Bedford, Iowa seduced Ida
Kimball, a fifteen-year old girl, then refused to
marry. Ida concluded that the climate was
not warm enough for him in Iowa, so she killed
him.
1t has been discove cred that the first duty of a
citizen at q fire is to curse the fire company.
Then, if he has any spare time after attending
to this duty, he might assist little in trying to
save the property.
Senator Voorhees, and other attorneys were
examining clients pistol at Greensburg, Ind,
went off injuring of them in the hand.
VOORHEES, wasn't hit He wasn't born to be
shot.
A great fuss is raised about President Cleve-
land fishing on Sunday. But he didn't swear
for he caught fish. If he had been wicked,
and swore, he wouldn't have caught that nine
pound bass.
The man who didn't want to give anything,
said he was opposed to taking up collections in
Church. at looked vulgar. The organ grinder
in the street did it:' But he didn't give the
organ-grinder anything, either.
News comes from Africa that the King of
Dahomey recently captured one thousand
young men and women, whom he is going 10
roast and have a big feast. The Missionaries
will be accorded posts of honor.
1--WE each of us had a hard shake!" exclaimed
young Smathers
"Mercy, sakes, alive! You must hev some
quinine!'' shouted his affrighted grandma.
80, it wasn't that kind-we only had n couple
of lemonades."
When the eonceited young man from the
East undertook to show the Kansas farmer
how he could work in the cornfield that indi-
vidual declared that lone Kansas grasshopper
can do more work on hill o. corn in q minute
than you can in an hour"
Gen. Sheridan has been holding talks with
the Indians. AS long as the officers can keep
them talking, it is all right. By the way, while
they are at it, why not send lot of canvassing
agents ont there. and talk the savages to death?
Agent VI tOluuUuS, per
haps the Democratic ideal of a man not "offen-
sively partisan" He is chairman of the Demo-
cratic State Executive Committee.
There's life and vim in the Democratic party
So there is in pig pen, when a handful of corn
is thrown to the pigs.
An old newspaper man out in Missouri filled
pulpit in the absence of the regular Pastor.
He exhorted sinners to come into the fold, but
cIo tod
he shouted: "This is the last dun; if you pay no
attention to 1t, your papers will be discontin-
ued, and your accounts left with the 'Squire!"
-
William VESSEL, of Steubenville, had fight
with his wife, and she whipped him. He un-
tied the bulldog and set him at her, when the
woman was badly torn. Its a bard time when
a man has to keep fierce bulldog for protect
ion against his own wife.
The coal oil fool is now in Richmond, Ind,
and his name is VIII Stumpf. He used match
as a tooth pick, and held it in his mouth while
drawing half gallon of oil. AS he raised up
the match struck the tank and was fguited,
the oil flashed all over him, but unfortunately
didn't kill him, and he will live TO endanger
the lives of the community on another day.
Old Ben. "a well-known character in
the upper part of this County few years ago,
was very positive in his likes and dislikes, and
one day went to visit friend whom will
call "Jim," and whose father will call "Bill."
Old Ben. was riding horseback, and hitched up
at Jims. During the visit young colt belong
ing to Jim seized the skirt of Ben's saddle, and
jerked it of. The old gentleman came out to
mount his horse, and was startled at the con-
dition of his saddle. Not noticing the Minis
ter of the circuit who coming along just
then, he broke forth: "Well d the colt!
D Jim fur raisin' sich colt! And d old
Bill, I can never like him, fur hevin a boy who
will own sich colt"
The man was standing upon the street-cor-
ner trying to crawl into the shade of the lamp
post, and vigorously wiping the great drops
| that rolled down his cheeks. A sympathiZing
friend drew near and inquired the cause of his
grief, supposing of course that some member of
ia mi