, 1885-02-26
PROFESSOR OF SIGNS.
CONSTITUTING TIE SAME FACTS IN
OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.


Some time ago a learned Frenehman be-
came very enthusiastic ON the subject OF a
universal language for the human race.
After much thought and theorizing on ths
subject he came TO the conclusion that the
only language that could be universal at
tho present day must be a language OF signs.
Being deeply Impressed with the import
nnco Of this Language to humanity, he de-
termined TO travel from country TO country
and teach IL in all their colleges and uni
versitiez As ID happened. the first country
be reached In his travels was Ireland, and
the first Institution he went TO was the Uni
versity OF Dublin.
He called upon the president Of the uni
vsrsity. and after some conversation with
him. asked him IL he had a professor Of
signs In his university. Now tliere was no
professor Of signs in the university. but the
president not wishing to DO behind tbs
learned Frenchman, told him that they had
one. Tho Frenchman asked 70 30 intro
duced to him The president was taken
back at this. but told him that be could not
zoe tho professor that day, but il hs would
call tho next day at the same hour he would
introduce him.
After the Frenchman had gone, the presi-
don't called bis professors together and told
them the hx he was In, and told TEN that
one Of them must play tho part Of professor
Of signs next day. They ali demurred and
objected TO this, being afraid that they
might be caught by the Frtnchnan- As
none OF them was willing to play the part,
thcy at least decided to train Mike, the
chorsman, for IL Mike had lost m eye, and
was very sensitive about it. thinking that
people were constantly noticing 1t aud max
Ing alinsions to It.
Mike wns consulted, and CONSENTED to play
the part, providing that the Frenchman
should not refer to his defect. The next day
the president and professors dressei Mix up
In a good suit OF clothes. took him 10 tho
rocitl tlon-room, seated him alone on the
platform, and then retired, Tor the French
man was to soc him alone. Before they left
linn they told him what to do, and that be
must not speak.
He replied, "Sare I'll not, II no SEE nothin'
about me oyo.n
At tho appointed Tins tho Frenchman
called, and was ushersd into the recitation
rom OF the professor OF signs" Tho pred-
dent and professors waited in an adjoining
room nnxiousiy for tho result. In a short
time the Frenchman came back to them ap-
parently much pleased
How did you like our professor OF slgnsr
aikel the president. |
Very much. indeed l congratulate you
On your able professor. l I'm more than
ever convinced that the language Of signs IL
to DO the universal language. When l went
into tho room l held up one finger, meaning
there Is one God. He understood me at
oncs, and held up two fingers, meaning
rather AMI S1n. then hAd ur three In
gers. meaning there are three person, In tho
Trinity. He replied by doubling up bis
hand. meaning, And these three are one. l
then withdrew 1t Is wonderful I'm do
ligbtsl.n
Alter the Frenchman had gone, the prest
irut and professors sent in haste for Mike,
tor. though they were pleased at haying
solton out OF the dilemma, they ,roro very
anxious to hear Mikes account OF the intsr-
visw. Mike came in, very angry. ii tould
ycz no would say something about me oye.
The first thing he did was till hould up wan
finger, m'nnin' ! had but wan oye.n
"Wnat did you do then, Mikef" asked the
prc-tten.
"sirs 1 hell up me two fingers, till lot
him know | nai two fists; am paat does the
durty tlaeisguard do but hould up three
nnsers, m'nuin' We had but thres oyoi be-
twans ua. Thin doubled up ms list, and
would a guv the frog'atin' varmnt a welt
over bis oye, but he COMMUNIST a-smilln' an
alb .~i : an a-scrapin' an wint out Nv the
rDU