The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1885-01-16
HUMOROUS.

For curiously named clergy Phila-
delphia takes the cake. The latest re-
ported is Rev. John G. Tea. 1t looks
as though his middle name might be
Green. burlington Free Press.
His master: ''Did you take those
boots of mine to be soled, Larry?" Irish
Valet: 81 did, sor; and see the thritle
the blag'y gave me, form! Said
they were purity nigh wore through!"-
Punch.
--'1s a woman capable of filling an
Officer" asks an exchange. She is. A
woman has just been inquiring after
some rejected manuscript in this office,
end she filled it completely for the time
being.-B0ston Transcript.
PA" said an editors son who was
studying natural Science, D." teacher says
you can't fill up space. Now, can't
your" "No, my son, think not; I've
been trying for twenty years, and l
haven't filled it up yet. "-Peck's San.
Alarmed Friend" What do you
mean by taking passage in vessel com
manded by such an officer as Captain
S-?'' Jones" Why, everybody
says he is perfectly reckless and l don't
want to be wrecked. '-DetT0it Free
Press.
"A Western editor who was a little
short of type and also rather lazy, made
an item in which he spoke Of new ar
rival at the hotel as Mrs. Rawly, the
ing young widow from Plattville, and
her brother, Colonel *buck. "--Bur5ing-
ton Free Press,
We do love poetry, and especially
when it conveys to us such startling
truth as was recently given to the world
in poem beginning: Darkness
creeps DER us as night comes on" A
truth like that, even though crushed to
earth, would bob up serenely ever and
anon.-OU city Derrtcb.
Boston SCHOOLGIRLS in history:
Teacher johnnie, what was the most
notable ship that ever landed on the
| New England cOast?" ''The May
flower, sir. Fright, my bright little
man. Now, Willie, what noble idea
was brought over in the Mayhower?T
''Pork and beans, sir. boston Times.
Did you ever try to train miss?"
asked the pedagogue of Farmer Fur
row, with a view of perpetrating pre-
historic pun. ''Nope, said the
willy granger with a twinkle in his eyei
"but I've missed a train without try
| ing. 1t was not until the farmer Of
| fered to swap almanacs that the teach
er saw his chestnut was withered
on6.-N y Journal.
During the rage for spelling bees
clergyman was ''turned down" at
fashionable assemblage for spelling
drunkenness with one ''n. - Shortly
afterwards he returned to his parish,
and found himself very coldly received
| by his parishioners. He sent for the
parish clerk, and asked him what was
the cause. '.Well, sir, replied tie
man, "a report has come down here
that you were turned out OF great
lady's house in London for drunken
ness. London TitbttS.
Thus muses. a rural correspondent:
''When the frost is on the pumpkin and
| the fodder in the shock, and you hear
the kyouck and gobble Of the struttin
| turkey cock, and the clackin' of the
guineas and the cluckin' OF the hens, and
the ROSTERS hallylooyer as he tiptoes
on the fence; oh, then the time fell
Ter is feeling at his best, with the risin
sun to greet him from a night of gra-
cious rest, as lie leaves the house bare
headed and goes out to feed the stock,
| when the frost is on the pumpkin and
tie fodder in the shock. - Gate Cttg.