St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-04-12

Livery stable keepers say that bay horses
are the cheapest to harbor.
The belief is growing that Chinanan
can get away with Frenchman with one
hand tied behind his back and without
soiling the whitewash on his shoes.
A petrified baby was recently discovered
In Texas. AS it can never develop into a
full-grown Texas citizen we hereby tender it
our heartfelt congratulations.
An old colored woman who has just died
in New York claims that she has kissed
George Washington slots of times.'' George
may have been a truthful man, but truth is
only one of the virtues.
If you will take five minutes from your
business and note the startling difference
between horse radish and reddish horse,
the time will not be wasted. Information on
any subject tends to improve and strengthen
the mind.
Never place too much confidence in size.
An eight-ounce mouse is safer to bet on than
ten-stone girl.
man never catches cold from a sight
draft, but it sometimes gives him a severe
chill.
GETTING HOME EARLY.
"Boys," he said firmly, ''I'll go you once
more, but it will be my last for tonight"
Four hours later he was taken home in
carriage.
THE SELFISHNEsS OF MANKIND.
"Any man who will smoke in the presence
of another to whom the smell of tobacco is
offensive is selfish hog" said Smith en-
phatically. ''Only yesterday was made sick
of n
'sWhy didn't you tell him that smoking is
offensive to you!''
'Him2 Every man in the crowd had a
cigar in his mouth but myself"
DID YOU EVER?
Did you ever leave your business little
early on one of these mild spring aftern oons
for an airing in the sunshine and after you
had walked good ways and stood on the
ball grounds an hour and a half watching
an opening game and prospected the neigh
borhood for spring building and changes,
go home tired out and looking forward to a
quiet rest after supper with the evening
papers that you took care not to read before.
And did you ever after the meal was over
and your slippers and sack coat on and the
student lamp adjusted and the papers piled
unopened at your elbow, and the soft voice
VI yum WIG SOtuiuS " JOuI CdiS mum 1hC
next room in musical cadence as she
crooned your beautiful baby to sleep in her
loving arms.
And did you ever have the grooming stop
and the papers opened and yourself deep in
them and your wife appear in cloak and
bonnet and say easily John, I've been in
all day aud want breath of this pleasant
air. am only going around to Mrs. Sher-
merhorn's. Baby is sound asleep,i he should
nestle a little just jounce the bed"
And did you ever say benignly certainly
my dear, the air will do you good, don't
hurry" and then after she had gone think
complacently what wife and what baby
you have, and then gradually and with
pleased feeling of restful content return to
your reading, while the lamp burns bright
and clear and the leader of your favorite
paper grows more and more absorbing
And did you ever have the baby suddenly
"nestle" and you drop your paper and send
the hassock flying as you rushed to the room
and leaned over the big double bed in the
middle of which your heir reposes and
obedient to orders 'jounce'' the springs,
and did you ever with your body in the posi-
ton of the arm of figure four and
your head. like tramp, without
visible means of support, hanging in space
as you elevate your shoulders and dislocate
your neck to accom- modate the ''jouncing''
process
And did you ever s'jounce" till your a rms
ached and your legs stiffened, till the per-
SEPARATION started from every pore and your
eyeballs were bursting with the inverted ten
dency of the circulation, and the more you
''jounced' the more the the baby "nestled'
until you got mad and gave a jounce that
sent the child up from the bed with cry of
terror, and did you ever take him then and
bring him out into the light and sit him down
hard in the chair and put that baby across
your knee face downward and substitute
treading for jouncing, and as you trotted him
into quietude regret your haste and think
babies were not so bad, and it was not so
hard to take care of them as women asserted,
and then finally as the weight on your kuess
relaxed and grew heavy, take the little form
tenderly in your arms and bear it back to
the bed, placing 1t gently in its island of
pillow on the sea of counterpart, and then
unable TO resist the innocent beauty of the
sleeping face stoop to imprint light pater-
nal kiss aud have your mustache tickle and
rouse the baby to 'nestle" again, and have
you start the ''jounce" and continue it until
you worked up second time to the spring.
board climax and accompanying mad exit to
the sitting room with the frightened and cry
ing child.
Aud did you ever spend the evening in
round trips varied occasionally,by short walks
across the room, and did you ever watch the
clock and mutter chang Mrs. Shermerhorn'
and "these gadding womep," and listen for
the outer door, and wonder If you could
finish that editorial holding the baby, aud
try and find you can't aud give it up and
'jounce" and trot and walk, and walk and
trot and 'jouncc" and swear before and
after every operation and sweat all the time
till half-past 10 o'clock, and then have your
wife come in calmly, 'Was / gone longs
What, the baby awake'' and your feelings
too deep for utterance and you can only look
your holy indignation and have that baby
sound asleep in its mothers arms three
minutes from the time she enteredl Did
you ever do all this on mild spring even
ing2
You didn't! Then down on your knees,
man, and ask your Creator to give you that
glimpse of heaven before you have done
with earth, to let the clinging, helpless fingers
Of baby, your baby, hold as only such can,
upon your strong heart, and the velvet touch
of little child, your child, soften, as only
that WILL your stern and rugged nature. For
the mission of the children is innocent, ten
der love, and he to whom II does not come
has escaped the richest blessing this world of
ours affords. PHILIP II. WEIGH.