davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27
GEN. McCH.EILAN's ROMANTIC WAR.
EEAGE.

A very interesting story was told about
a year ago about McClellan's first meeting
with his wife. He married her, you know,
in 1850, aud the relationsof the two during
the past quarter of a century have been of
the lsappiest. Mrs. Mcclellan accom-
panied her husband everywhere, and was a
helpmeet in the true sense Of the word.
She was very proud of her husband, and
was very sensitive to any ridicule of him.
He met her in a church in Baltimore in
1860. one cold Sunday morning. lie was
then travelling through the United States
on a health tour. and had reached Balti :
mare Saturday night. The next morning
he left the hotel and went to the nearest
church. The usher took him up to the
front and seated him IN a pew which was
already occupied by a very handsome
Young lady. The seTmon was prosy, and
MIR. Mcclellan devoted himself To casting
sly Chances at his seatmate. He concluded
that she was fair. As he caught a fuller
view Of her he decided She was beautiful,
and when at last he saw her features and
her eyes locked into lis lie felt that he had
met his fate. As they passed out Of the
pew the young lady blushed under Me-
Clellan's admiring gaze. lie followed her
home and found that she lived in one Of
the handsomcst houses in the city. On in
quiry he found that this house was owned
by General II. h Marcy. the father of one
of his schaalmates at West Point. Nc
Clellan at once called upon young Marcy,
and through him obtained an introduction
to Marcy's sister, Ellen. He began to pay
her attentions and fonnd upon aequaint-
ance that she improved. His love was re
oiprocated. They were engaged, and IN
Nav. 1850 they We're married.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

They were telling conundrums and para
lying each other in great shape when An
derson held up his hand.
I've got one he said.
S'What is it ?" inquired the crowd.
sWhen is an apple pie?
lie stopped and everybody looked at him;
but he said nothing
WELL asked a man across the room,
go on. What did You stop there for ,"
go on2 Where What for he
asked.
why, go o n with yonrdarned old conun-
drum. When is an apple pie what ?"
That's what | said" he replied.
swell, We know. but what is the comm
drum ?"
when is an apple-pie
ssThere amt any sense 10 that put in
another fellow. whats the rest of ito.
There amt any rest, persisted Amber
son. when is an apple pie2"
"wlen is an apple pie what yelled
the crowd.
who said an apple pie WIS what
s.You did"
II didn't. Ididn't say anything aboat
an apple pie"
s.You did, whooped mp the crowd.
Il didn't
You did
II didn't and any man says ] dds \
liar, = and the crowd piled down on top Of
Anderson, and when the police came In IN
rescued him, it took a half honr to explain
that an apple was pie when il was aased up
with sugar aud crust and things like any
other pastry.
1t smashed up the Connndrum Club,
though. and the conundrnm' s usefulness is
that far established - Merchant Trarsifr.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27
VOL. IL.


She takes them from the warm south side
Other fair house at %eventide:
Her fragile fingers blend
The flowers for graveyard, wreath and cross,
symbolic of love and life,
Whereof she knows no end.
Far, far behind her in the haze
OF years and tears, those early days
Oflove and sorrow lie.
She was Il wife; on one true breast
Her troubled girlhood found Il rest
In glad security.
Together in youths morning time
Their hearts rang true to true loves chime
Through never weary hours:
Together, standing in the sun,
They pulled with gladness, one by one,
Loves purple passion flowers.
But death stole grimly to theirside,
And reft the bridegroom from the bride,
Her marriage coronet
Was scarcely laid with bushes down,
Ere on her curls of chestnut brown,
The widows cap was set.
She was a wife, true wife to one
whose noble race was swiftly run;
And, faithful to loves creed,
She, made a widow in her youth,
liatn kept her nrSt, ner Ia1feSI truth;
And widowed is indeed.
He left her lonely, when the springs
Oflife were fullest, when love clings
With passion to its mate.
She dropped the purple flowers of love
Among the grass that waved above
His grave-and learned to wait.
| She gave him all she had in life,
Her fair, fond self,a perfect wife,
With dover of hope and youth:
She gives hima all she had in death,
Her chaste, white life, untouched by breath
Or hint against her truth.
She waits. No longest year shall bring
To her n second spousal ring,
No other marriage hours.
She waits until by Eden's tide,
The bridegroom gathers for his bride
The fadeless passion flowers!
All the Year Round.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

Short lengths of neat plaid wooden eassl-
mere. at 25 cts. per yard, worth 30 cts,
Just the thing for children's suits. II. IS.
Humphreys " Co. u
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

Ladies' Balbriggan hose, extra length,
regular made, no seams, 90 cts. Same
goods, silk clicked, double heels, 25c. All
sizes. all colors in children's ribbed hose,
6 to 81, 10 cts. a pair. E. b. Humphreys
& Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

Just opened, 3 packages of nice medium
weight unbleached sheeting muslin, elegant
goods. SO inches wide. at DC. 40 inches wide,
10 cts. AZ inches wide at II cts, per yard;
Also heavy yard wide bleached muslin at
8 cts. a yard, as heavy as am su ia out
hardly so fine. May wear as well or better.
4. B. Humphreys u Go.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

We have a good hook lace shoe for men
at 81. so, and the Same in youths at sl.2o.
These are fine goods and will do honest
wear. We also have a nice grain button
shoe for ladies at si.25, the best We ever
had at the price. +. b. Humphreys x Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

We have Just received several pieces
of neal plaid cassimeres, two-thirds wool,
which have been selling at 40 cts, now
25 cts. They are wondrous cheap and
Just the goods for boys and childrens wear
+. B. Humphreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

The lips Of death do always shout the
victory Of the christian, only that n ears
are too dull Ia hear it.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

Children's button shoes at soc. to Sl.oo
The real genuine solar tips at Sl.W per
pair. Il. b. Humphreys q Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27
HALF A DOLLAR
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY NEWS

The cheapest and best weekly
newspaper IN America. No
long-winded editorials. Cram
med full of good things for men,
women and children. Snap,
vim and originality in every line.
The DAILY Meas is the acme of
careful editing. The Weekb
Meas preserves the unique
features of the Daily Meas and
presents them in the most pala-
table form for out-oftown read
ers. Sample Copy, free, on APP
plication. A years subscrip-
ton, Fifty Cents.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

Just received 500 pairs of ladies', misses
and children's hose at 3, 10, IL and 10 cts,
worth more money. Come and see them.
L. B. Humphreys y Co..
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

Boys percale shirts with collars at Az
cts. Bows cheviot shirts with collars at 40
cts. All kinds mems shirts at Hum
phreys.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

Hats and CAPS for men and boys, all
kinds. The only stock in town, at Hum
phrey's.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

Untoiled for success
Characters loss must confess.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

The sadness that lies TO the rose of joy
is the fact that the rose fades. leaving only
the thorn. But the joy thai grows on the
burning bush of the beauty of holiness has
this excellence. that the thorns waste away
and the rose only remains flower that
blooms eternal in heaven.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27
Written for The MONITOR.
LITTLE SERMONS.

II u n =
Alike in fruit, you find extremes
Like nightmares dim, distorted dreams.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

There is a glare ia public gaze
That gilds the wrong in silver haze.
And gives to moral bad the crown
That worthy shines, but with goods purple
gown.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

The comfort Of the christian is that with
the shifting of deaths dark wing the final
sorrow has come, with which all sorrow
passes away, and all Joy comes-the JOY
that is always the light Of sorrow 5
shadows.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1885-11-27

They were telling ~conundrums and para
lying each other in great shape when An
derson held up his hand.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
CleVeland's Eccentric Visitor,
Washington Letter.

President Cleveland has number
of curious visitors every day, though
but few of them succeed in seeing
him. When the doorkeepers notice
that the callers are in any way off"
they engage them ia conversation
long enough to see what their pecul-
iarity is and then quietly advises them
TO take a walk around the block, and
impress upon them that there is no
particular necessity for them to re-
turn. One of the most noted, as well
as persistent, of the early morning
callers AT the White House is an aged
lady named McLane, who belongs
somewhere in New York, though she
has resided IN Washington for many
a year. This Elady is particularly
noticeable from her long flowing
white curls, which reach down to her
shoulders. She claims to have been
for years literary woman and the
author of number of popular stories
and poems. Mrs. McLane has called
at the White House almost every
morning since President Cleveland
has been its occupant. She is known
TO the attaches OF the White House as
''the fairy" Though she has intimat-
ed several times that she would like
to have a lcng, motherly talk with
the President, she has never insisted
on it, and contents herself by leaving
letter for the President every time
she calls. The letters contains all
kinds ofsuggestionsEaboutru running the
various branches of the Government.
She is intensely democratic, and
strong admirer of the Jeffersonian
school of democracy. Her letters
never reach the President, generally
being handed to Col. Lamont after
she leaves, when they are destroyed.
In this respect, however, they are not
much difference from the hundreds of
other letters that are received at the
White House daily, which are hastily
read and referred to the department.
that they should have been sent to in
the first instance.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
A Newspaper Without an Editor.

A newspaper in Madrid, called the
Correspondence, is peculiar in its way.
It has the largest circulation of any
paper ia the capital, reaching 200, 900
to 100000 day. It has no editor.
but a dozen wide-awake reporters,
who scour the town for every kind of
information. They come to the Office
and drop their manuscripts IN a bag,
and there they stay until the foreman
wants copy, Everything is then
thrown into the forms without regard
to order or anything else, and the
paper is read from end TO end in spite
of the fact.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
THE LATEST FASHIONS.

The rage for tinsel is on the in
crease.
Lapis lazuli is the newest shade of
blue.
The new name for nuns yelling is
wool Grape
Parasols have canopy, round and
mushroom tops.
jersey corset covers bid fair to SUI
persede all others.
Poppy red jackets are made to wear
with chintz dresses.
English made suran dresses show
yokes of shirred goods.
Cinnamon and tobacco brown are
fashionable colors in tulle.
The jacket is the street wrap for
young ladies under twenty five.
More and more popular grows the
jersey jacket, waist and webbing.
The high military color IS now TO
be seen on all dresses for street
wear.
The cleft brim bonnet grows slows
ly IN favor with American women.
y pno1SIefy grapes are handsome
French novelties for furnishing pur-
poses.
4 pretty fancy for bows on summer
dresses IS the combination of three
colors.
Yokes are very deliberately made
this year, and are not cut as low as
last season.
Aprons are a favorite fancy for
young ladies, and come made UP in
fancy silks.
Old black silk dresses can be bright
ened into late effects by the use of
colored silks.
Red cotton collars, with narrow edge
of embroidery in dark blue, are among
the novelties.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
Enjoying a Square Meal.
New York Times

Are you enjoying your dinnera"
asked Robby of the minister who was
taking a Sunday dinner with the
family.
Eyes, Robby," responded the minis
ter, pleasantly.
Mamma said this morning that she
thought you would, as she didn't sup
pose that with your small salary and
large family you got much to eat from
one weeks end to the ether"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
Hard to Choose.
San Francisco Ingleside.

"It is ny unalterable decision,
Clara" he said firmly: 81 cannot
walk on the avenue with you il that
poodle is to accompany us. You must
choose between him and me. It rests
with you. Clara, if our engagement
shall be broken off"
con, Georger' the girl replied, and
her face assumed an ashen hue; "this
is all SO sudden. You must give me
time to think it over. One week,
George, and you shall have your an
swer.n
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
Would Find a Cipher.
Pittsburg Dispatch.

A Hartford newspaper, after re-
counting Ignatius Donnelly's wonder
full literary achievements, past and
prospective, concludes: 1--WE are
glad Dennelly didn't miss being born. :"
If he had suffered that misfortune, it
seems quite certain, from his other
achievements, that he would have
discovered some entirely new and
hitherto unsupported way of coming
into the world.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
A Hint to Ball Men.
NorristoWn Herald.

A sporting paper contains an article
entitled ''How to Prevent Accident in
the Game of Base Ball" This diff
Guilty may be overcome by the SUBJ
stitution of garden, digging for base
ball. A young man who is digging
garden never gets injured by running
the bases or by the bat flying out of
another players hand; though when
he gets through with the game hemay
be induced to think he has exchanged
backs with man 1877 years old.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
A Serious Illness.
New York Times.

II hear that your wife's health is
very poor, Uncle Rastus."
'iYes," replied Uncle Rastus, wip-
ing away tears, de poodle CONAN
am enjoyin' berry bad health OBJ late,
sab. Hit do beat all sab, how de poo
creatures OBJ dis yearth am STRICKEN
down in de mournfullest way. Why,
fo' months ago, sah," ne went On, sor-
rowfully, "dat poo ole wife OBJ mine
end take in 81 a day washin'."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
Stealing a House.
st. Paul Globe

House stealing is not uncommon IN
Dakote. Last week James Caughy,
in Aurora County, was absent a few
days, and, on his return found his
house gone. He traced it to another
county, and had one James McGulre
arrested and fined $20and costs.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-05-07
Economy Is Wealth.
New ork Sun


a. farmer and his wife went into a
dentists.
Chow much do you charge for fill
in teeth?" asked the farmer.
''From 81 to IS"
land how much for pullin'?'
FIFTY cents. "
"Mariar," he said, turning to his
wife, you'd better git it pulled"
Judic, the French star, who will
visit America next autumn, is nearly
forty years old, with a vigorous form
almost bordering on the heavy. She
has purely oval face aud mouth
that efectually displays two rows OF
pure white teeth. In manner she
differs from other French stars, pro-
nouncing the riskiest words with
childlike innocence.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-11-04

wounded and faint as he was, half
drag, half carry Big Sam into a shell
tered rayine More'n that, he binds up
his wound, and makes him pretty COM
Portable, and there we found 'em along
towards night, when n grand charge
finally gave US the ground.
You remember, had seen Big sam
draw a bead on the boy, but when |
went to make stir over it Corporal
Jimmie said: "Please don't! lie has
been punished enough. | think he
will be a changed man."
And 50 he was. They took to each
other like twin ducks, and were the
tasted, firmest friends you ever saw.
Big Sam dropped all mean ways, and
within year was orderly sergeant OF
the company, while Corporal Jimmie
was a lieutenant.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-11-04
The Rite of "Sultcc."

Since the advent of the British into
power in India the fearful rite of sut.
tee, which condemned to be burnt
along with her husband his widows,
has been prevented; and though, even
at this day, Hindostani burning is a
sight by no means pleasant, it was
much more fearful when along with
the burning dead husband were burned
one or more of his late wives.
The first time when that sacrifice
was clearly brought home to English
men was when Job Charnock, half
pirate, half adventurer, saved the life
of beautiful Bengalee widow as she
was being thrust upon the burning
py1e Of her late husband. Job Char,
mock laid the foundation of the pres
ent Capital of India, Calcutta, and it
was at its present site where the gal
liant sailor performed this hazardous
saving feat. Charnock had penetrat-
ed up the Hoogly, in quest of advent
ures, and seeing from his vessel prep.
aration COR the burning of Hindoo he
watched the process with curious ex-
element; but when it came to cremat'
ing living people, and above all a
young woman, all the generous impul-
ses of the sailors heart were stirred
and calling to his comrades he leaped
ashore, and with the aid Of their
knives he dispersed the heathens, and
afterward married the woman anc
founded Culcutta. San Francisco En-.
nmiuer,
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-11-04

A boy came to the door of lady's
house and asked if she did not want
some berries, for he had been all day
gathering them.
"Yes," said the lady, q will take
chem" So she took the basket and
stepped into the house, the boy remain
ing outside, w!i5tling to some canary
birds hanging in their cage on the
porch.
"Why don't you come in and see
that | measure your berries right"
said the la|y. "IIow do you know
but l may cheat you?"
81 am not afraid" said the hoy, "loT
you would get the worst Of it.
Get the worst Of it," sail the lady.
"What oyou mean y lhot?'
"Why, mar'm," said the boy, Il
should only lose my berries, and you
would make yourself thlef. Don
you think that would be getting the
worst Of it?'
The boy was right lie who steals
or does any thing wrong or mean Just
to gain a few pcnni'3 or few dollars'
loads himself down with sin which
is worse than all the gain. Let this
be borne in mini: The one who does
wrong to another always gets tho
worst Of it,"
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-11-04

Great Salt Lake is in fact not a
branch of the Sea at all, but mere
shrunkcn remnant of very large
fresh water lake system, like that of
the still existing st. Lawence Chain.
Once upon time American geologists
say huge sheet of water, for which
they have even invented a definite
name Lake Bonneville, occupied Il
far larger valley among the outliers OF
the Rocky Mountains, measuring 800
miles in one direction by $50 miles in
the other Beside this primitive Su-
perior lay great second sheeC---an
early IIuron-(Lake Lahontan the
geologists call it) almost as big anu
of equally fresh water. BY AMI by
the precise dates are necessarily indeii-
nite--some change in the rainfall, un'
registered by any contemporary, made
the waters Of the big lakes shrink and
evaporate. Lake Lahontan shrank
away like Alice in Wonderland, till
there was absolutely nothing left of it;
Lake Bonneville shrank till it attained
the diminished size Of the existing
Great Salt Lake. Terrace after ter
race, running in long parallel lines on
the sides of the Wahsatch Mountains
around, mark the various levels at
which it rested for a while on its grad
ual downward course. 1t Is still fall
ing indeed, and the plain around IS be-
ing gradually uncovered, forming the
white, salt -enCrusted shore with which
all visitors to the Mormon city are so
familiar. But why should the wa er
ave become briny? Why should the
evaporation of an old Superior pro.
duce at last a Great Salt Lake? Well,
there is small quantity Of salt in
solution even in the freshest Of lakes
AMI ponds, brought down to them by
the streams or rivers, and, as the water
of the Hypothetical Lake Bonneville
slowly evaporated, the salt and other
mineral constituents remained behind.
Thus the solution grew constantly
more and more concentrated till at the
present day it is extremely saline.
Prof. Gekie to whose work the pres
ent paper is much indebtcd) found
that he noated on the water in spite OF
himself; and the under sides of the
steps at the bathing places are all en-
encrusted with short stalactites Of
salt, produced from the drip of the
bathers as they leave the water. The
mineral constituents, however, differ
considerably in their proportions from
those found in true salt lakes of marine
origin, and the point at which salt is
thrown down is still far from having
been reached Great Salt Lake must
simmer in the sun for many centuries
yet before the point arrives at which
Gas cooks say) it begins to settle
CornhW
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-11-04

80 Clara FELTON, is married. p said
one Clifton belle to another.
"Yes, married last wrek in New
York"
"Who was the man p
"Mr. Clarence McSpoutet.'
"What, that fellow we mot ~ l'F
Harbor p
"The same one
"Gracious me, how did she ccmc to
marry that green thing -
"Oh," was the reply, in cominatr-
sting tone, "poor Clara was always Il
little color blind, you know.-her-
chant Traveller.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-11-04
XIV-NO WOODSlOCK w. WEDNEoDA NONFMDEn Z" 1901

"Sient from horror, they gathered
together al1 that was left of the gay
middle, and covering them with a
boat-cloak, the Dare's men rowed back
and told their story
Lieutenant Fraser told it all to the
person who told it to me, and strange
and horrible as it is-well, you know,
nothing is too strange or too horrible
TO be true; and my story is true"
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-11-04

Deep in the bay the old church lies,
Beyond tho storm-wind's power,
The waves TINT whelmed it everyday
In ripples round the tower
And you look down through the lido
Many and many time
You may catch tho glimmer Of the stones,
Or hear the sweet bells chime
For they that dwoll deep in the sea,
Below the wind and rain,
The Mermcn and tho Mermaidcns,
Have built it up again
They have made fast the ruined walls
With their immortal hands,
And strewn tho aisle with red sea.ilowers,
And with the wet sea sands.
And when q drifting boat comes lack
Rock shattered to the sholc,
With never captain at the helm,
Nor sailor at the oar,
Then down below the stormy foam
The sweet old bells ring free,
They call upon the mariners
That come no more from sea.
-Moy Kendall, in di0ga : inc Of Art.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1885-11-04

The latest musical freak is a surgl.
cal operation for the benefit of piano
players.-clipping cord between the
third and fourth fpgers to improve
the touch.