Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1885-12-30
His Honor and Bijah.

and grieving was heard from the cor
ridor as his Honor got ready to open
court, and he observed
"BUah, that must be sad case"
"Yes, sir-very sad"
"Some poor unfortunate woman
who wants to get home to her chill.
dren, probably?"
"She is, sir"
Probably won't never get drunk
again"
Probably not"
well, bring her out, poor thing,
and if there is any excuse for sus.
pending sentence I'll let her Co."
"Yes, sir"
Bijah brought out woman about
80 years of age. She had one shoe
of, and her dress was in rags, while
her face was bloated and red and her
hair hadn't seen comb for week.
"This is the poor unfortunate, sir, "
he said, as he left her before the desk
"That's lie, and I'll take my oath
to itw she hotly exclaimed; and
then, backing away from the railing,
she began to dance while she sang:
"oh I hunt the dandy daisy when the dew is on
And also look for buttercups and such
And IL want nip as take my little trip,
It's no business of the public-no, not much"
"That will do," said his Honor.
"Who asked your opinion about
it p she saucily demanded.
"Mary Jane Chandler, you were
drunk again last night. How do you
plead ?"
"If l was drunk what's the use OF
pleading?"
"It's a matter of form, Mary.
Shall enter plea of guilty?'
For answer she danced again and
sang:
"oh the water it was hot, and the sugar was SO
And the gin it was the best ever saw;
And made me up sling. which was fit for any
king,
And away 1 went a-breaking of the lawi"
Mary, shall have to send you
up"
"Well, I'm used to it."
$50 you are. Poor old woman!"
poor old mani" she sighed in re-
ply.
81 shall make it ninety days, Mary"
She made "kerchy," waved her
hand, and retreated to the corridor,
singing:
"a blue-coat run me in as 1 went my merry way,
And cell 1t was my portion for the night;
And sing your Honor's praise, as take my ninety
days,
For to send drunken woman up is right"
Sorry" said his Honor, as he
looked after her; "that woman was
once belle and happy wife.
Whiskey has brought her to the
gutter"
Jacob Blossom, what allied you yes
terday ?"
"Nothings, only l feel good"
"Do you realize that you got
drunk ?"
"Vhell, haf some beer, but dot vhas
all right. 1t vhas my birthday and 1
celebrate him."
"Your birthday was all right, but
you had no business to get drunk
You also raised a row."
Somebody hits me, and hit him
back. Dot vhas all der row. vhas
very sorry, Shudge. If dot birthday
doan' come, den l doan get drunk.
l doan' see if it vhas my fault"
81 shall fine you five dollars"
"Vhell l haf to pay, but dot vhas
some outrage on me. If nobody can
half some birthday in dis county und
celebrate him NIT glass of beer den
| shall go nit Cincinnati"
"Who are your" asked his Honor,
as a dried-up, dejected-looking man
of 60 stood before him.
"Don't talk that way to me !" re-
piled the prisoner. "Im older than
you are, and l want to be treated just
as respectfully as if 1 was worth a
million dollars p
"Is your name Primus Davis"
eyes, sir, and it's name no one
need be ashamed of"
"What allied you yesterday?
"Nothing-nothing at all If any
body has come here and told you that
anything allied me, he's liarp
prisoner, don't talk that way.
You are in the presence Of the
court"
"And the court is in the presence
of Primus Davis I'm just as good
as anybody on earthw
"You were drunk yesterday
"No, 1 wasn't! / haven't been
drunk in forty years, and I'll swear
to it'll"
"Under the law you could be sent
up for thirty days."
II could, ehl I'd just like to sec
some one send me up for thirty days.
I'd make it so hot for him that he