The Evening critic., 1885-03-27
THE TESTERS GOING.
Departure of the Wen who Have
Made Merry I'm the Nations Halls of
VepfaIasfou


Departure of the Wen who Have
Made Merry I'm the Nations Halls Of
LegisIatiou.
"AIasl poor Yorlck, knew him WE'LL"
Between tho admirable selection of Mr.
Cox to be Minister to Turkey and the unfath-
omable workings Of tho minds of voters,
the next House promises to be dull ono.
No more will the wit of tho gentleman
from New York sointillate from floor to
gallery. No more In the dull tedium Of de-
bate will there DO oases of enjoyment fur
nished by tho brilliant but small man from
Now York. No moro will the words "Cox
has got tho floor now" cause tho laughing
aud iabboIing newspaper men in the gal
lery to Immediately come TO attention. No
more will Mr. Cox use such curious and apt
quotations OH the floor that you arc almost
compelled to look them up.
The very look Of tho House will seem dull
without him. It will bc long before those
accustomed to bis familiar figure and voice
can realize that there can he House Of
Representatives without Sunset Cox.
Even Judge Kelley of Pennsylvania will
look lonesome. When tho House next
meets Mr.. Cox will be among the mosques
and miparets of Constantinople. By that
time he will doubtless bavo learned tho
language of the unspeakable Turk. He will
bo slipping sherbet with the Sultan and
making the sides of that sick gentleman ache
with laughter, and we will be without him.
ago cannot wither nor custom stale his
infinite variety" And then we are to
have no Belford. Think of IL, no Bel
ford With coat-sleeves hiding his hands,
no more will he come charging down the
aisle, and while what little hair he has gets
reddor demand tho unlocking OF tho Troas-
ury vaults that the surplus may flow as a
purlng stream Of silver; or that Colorado.
which has not stream of any size in it,
shall have some Of the pork in the River
and Harbor bill.
We will not have any of those burning,
wild Western metaphors of his, which were
as breezy as a blizzard and as flushed as
though they had been dipped in tho sunset
of his own Rockies. The thought is sad
ono that Belford will not be here. The
wild man from Texas will also be gone.
Colonel Thomas Porterhouse Ochiltree
turned up missing in the last elestion.
Who will bull-bait Bismarck now
Who will look so wise as he and know 50
little? Who will have bolligerent colonies
hanging around, waiting for Congress to
adjourn, that they may have some Of his
beautiful gore? Whose eye will take the
place of that rolling ofl-orb which Colonel
OChiltree carries about his person? There
is no one who can console US for the loss Of
our OchiItreo. We repeat it-no one.
And Mr.. Horr of Michigan will not be
with us. His short, rotund figure aud
abundant wit will keep house together in
Michigan. His wit is not as refined as that
Of Mr. Cox, by any means, nor as abundant.
But it is very good, withal. His voice is
something like a cracked bassoon, and his
general appearance that of good .natured
pantaloon. There was also au element of
hnuapina xrha To NJ.
put his funny factory to work. He stood
in the centre aisle, right on the edge of one
of the steps that slightly rise from row TO
row of the seats.
AS Mr.. Horr was in the habit of leaning
forward when he spoke, one was in constant
dread that he would make fall of it, He
is gone but not forgotten. And then we
will have no John ID. White. In this we
arc not inconsolable. We eau stand it
without even bracing ourself for the effort.
John d. returns to the classic shores of
Goose Creek, which, like the "Confcdrit
CROSSROADS" is in the State of Kentucky.
Mr.. White was never humOrist. Wit is
as foreign to him as El Mahdi is TO the Ma
tiunal Capitol. But he has always been
handy man for the other boys to have fun
With. And then when tho Speaker got
tired of sitting ON his chair he could sit on
John ID. White by way of variety.
We shall not 60 into mourning for John
d. And the Congressional Record will not
contain as many words as it did last session.
Now, whom have We left? Representa-
tive Tom Reed is the only possible fun
maker in sight. But Mr.. Reed does not
make hearty fun He is not dyspeptic
but his bright sayings always run to sar-
casm. His is bitter wit. 1t causes one to
laugh, but it is laughing at mean things
said about another, not at good-natured
spaffing. And, by the way, Mr.. Reed came
very near being left at homo himself,
But there will be many new Members in
the next House. They may develop some-
thing to partly take tho place of what we
have lost. At least, let US hope for the
best While there is life there is hope,
which, by the way, is highly original
saying.