davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
National Republican., 1885-12-12
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M @ N - e
4 TELEGRAPHIC JOKE.
Why the Western Union is Not Anxious
for Government business.

for Government Business.
There was crowd of telegraph operators
before the Western Union telegraph office,
at the corner of Fifteenth and + streets
last evening, and every man was stamping
on the pavement to drown the sound OF
his chatt:ring teeth.
"Well, the telegraph war is beginning to
rage fierccly in the departments said one
Of the shiyering individuals, whose counte-
nance was nearly invisible behind the up
turned coat collar, over which pair Of
wcll-trained Dundrearles peeped out.
"But have you heard the particulars in
the matter?n he continued. "You know
what a racket the Mutual Union, Baltimore
and Ohio, and Postal companies are raising
to get their full share in the government
business. They suppose they deal heavy
blows on the Western Union by getting the
government messages for their lines. have
wondered why it was that the Western
Union is doing nothing in the matter. |
thought 1t was absolute madness, but /
find that there is method In its madness
after all. put the question to one OF the
officials of the Western Union. He laughed
and took me aside"
"You are a Mutual Union man, he said,
land, though you are on the opposition, 1
don't want you to give 1t away to the man
ayers. It's just this: We don't want the
government business. If we could by any
means push enough of 1t on any one com
pany we could bankrupt them in q short
time. They are fighting us hard, as you
know, and | hope, by heavens, they will
keep 1t up. You know what the rates are
on official business. We are sending twenty
words, exclusive of date, for 20 cents for all
distances within 1000 miles, with an addl-
tional charge of cents for every additional
$50 miles; and we can't charge more than 80
cents for any message within the United
States. Those are the rates fixed
by the Postmaster General, and we
have got to stick to them.
For instance. New Orleans, government
rate, is 25 cents for ten words, commercial,
GO cents; Chicago aud Portland, Me-, each
20 cents for Uncle Sam and 80 cents for or
dinary individuals; San Francisco, so cents
government and Il private, while Calves.
ton, Tex, is 30 cents government and rs
cents private. Do you wonder why we
don't yearn after the government business
when We can get all we can do for double
the money!"
'lts too cold for me; goodbye" said the
man of information as he slipped away, and
the reporter made note In his book.
National Republican., 1885-12-12
a Persian Workman.

[G, W. benjamin In December Century
What implements they used In ancient
times we know not; but TO day the Persian
artisan has neither rule, compass, nor spirit
level. He is commonly ignorant of the fact
that the diameter is the third OF the circum-
ference; his gimlets and augurs are prods
turned by bow-stTing; he has no hatchet,
but only an adze, and no carpenters bench.
If he desires to plane board he puts 1t on
the ground; and II he would saw block OF
wood, he squats on the ground himself and
holds 1t between his toes, drawing the saw
toward himself. Wood is scarce, and,
with such tools, hard to work. II pillars
are TO be constructed, the trunks of poplars
are raised and simply stripped Of their
branches and bark. They may be crooked,
but that matters not; the master workman
tells his subordinate to shape the timber
into an elegant pillar with Catch. Depend
ing only on his eye and the skill Of his
hand, this simple artisan applies the plaster
round the trunk in the form of iluted pill
lar, and crowns 1t with a grace
ful capital and Cornlce, showing a lively
inventive fancy. II judged by the strict
application Of rule and compass, these deco
rat!ons may sometimesdeyiate slightly from
r straight line, but of the artistic beauty Of
the conception there can be no question.
Walls and ceilings are tastGfully decorated
IN like manner. - 90 "Lightness com
blnod with strength Is often gained in Per-
sia by building wall Of square suu-dred
bricks, ingeniously arranged in hollow
cuhes us In block house, They arc ce-
mented together by n layer Of cargcl, or
mortar mixed with straw, over which, in
turn, follows coat Of white plnster. Where
great strength Is required the angles are
fortified 10y layer Of burnt bricks. Such a
wall Will stand for ages. 1T is interesting
10 watch the builders ut work. They wear
long tunics, which arc tucked into their
gidIe6 when working, displaying a length
and muscular development Of limb haYe
never seen oqualcd elsewhere. The one
above sings ont IN musical tone, brother,
IN the name Of God, toss me brick The
orc below, as he throws the brick, sings In
reply, 20 nay brother lOr, O son Of my I'M
clo), in the name Of God, behold q brick pn
National Republican., 1885-12-12
Didn't Understand Quaker Talk.

There was queer scene at the house OF
q Quaker family living in noighborng
city the other day. The lady of the house
had advertised for servant girl, and a
promising one, lately arrived, applied.
when do ye have yer washin' done ?"
asked the girl.
"We would wish TO have thee do It every
Second day." answered the Quakeress.
"lvery second day? May the saints pre-.
sGrve u.s. Sure it's not meself that will
wash for ye livery other day in the week !"
said the girl, as she took her departure
National Republican., 1885-12-12
Thn Homo of snntn Clnns.

a. kaufman, at his double combination
store, l2il-l2i3 Eleventh street southeast, an.
nounccs the arrival Of Santa Claus, As We arc
all expecting that welcome visitor about this
time, Il crowd VIII resort TO the locality mem
toned to greet his earliest appearance in our
city. 4. Kaufman is favored, receiving the
GIsl yiSltOf thGt distinguished and delectaLle
ICrsOnGgc, But fortune luyOrs A. kaufman In
everything. Tho wonderful beauties he now
offers to purchasers, assisted by Santa Claus,
out-wOndcr wonders. Incredible assertions,
when Of importance should DO investigated.
Investigate,
National Republican., 1885-12-12
VALUES OF FARM PRODUCTS.
Corn Lower, but Wheat Higher Than
q Ycnr Ago-Other Crops.

n Year Ago-Other Crops.
The increase in the product of corn has re-
duced the average value OF the crop to SO cents
Icr bushel, according to the crop reports of the
GeI artment OF agriculture for December. Tho
average value Of the previous crop in Decem-
Der was &c cents. The reduction is largest in
the Ohio valley and in the southern states.
feeding has corrected the tendency to ex-
tremelY low prices. The average In Missouri
Is 20 cents, the same us last year In Kansas
1t Is "a instead of % last year. In Iowa, "a in.
stead Of 23; in Nebraska, 10 instead Of 1S II is
2S cents in Dakota, 2 cents lower than last
year; SO in Minnesota, ! cent lower. Illinois.
lucky, 35; Pennsylvania, 49, New York, 5s.
Compared with former prices corn values are
very low. For the preceding five years, nearly
Gll under average in production, the average
faim value was ii.7 cents per bushel, and for
the preceding ten years AZ cents.
The price Of wheat, though still low, Is con-
siderably above last December average, which
was Go cents. That of 1888 was Of cents. The
present is 7S7 cents, gain equal to half the
unprecedented decline Indicated last Deeem-
ber For the five years past the average farm
value has been 90 cents per bushel, and for the
precedingtc ten l05 cents. Lastyear's farm value
was rs per cent. lower than for the ten years
ended IN 1879, due mainly to u fuller European
production aud q smaller foreign demand for u
surplus nearly equal to third of tho entire
The range of state prices is from 81 cents in
Nebraska 10 81. CD in Massachusetts,. II is above
one dollOr In the eastern and In the cotton
states for homegrown wheat.
The average price OF rye is SO cents, cents
more than last year; OF barley, 60 cents. an in
crease of cents; of buckwheat, 60 cents, a de-
crease Of cents; OF potatoes, 40 cents, an in
crease OF cents; of hay, SS62 per ton in place
OfSSl7 last year. The average price OF oats Is
2S cents, the same as last December.
The price of cotton averages S.3 per pound OF
lint. fGrm value, which Is niue mills less than
the DECEMBER price last year. The farm prices
South Carolina, S.5; Georgia. S.5; Alabama, S.3
Mississippi, 81; Louisiana, S,3; Texas, 8; Ar
kansas, 81; Tennessee, g.
National Republican., 1885-12-12
a Foolish Question.

It EF0FFF77V TT77F70E V'FII'T
Pompano-"Poor Gubbins / can't help
thinking about him. Bagley-"What's
the matter with Gubbins?n "1he matter?
Why, We buried him last week." "Burlcd
him Do you mean TO say that Gubbins Is
dc. d'' 'See here, Bagley, do you suppose
we would have buried him II he hadn't
died -
National Republican., 1885-12-12

call Historic Scenes-A Brighter Pros
pect for the BourGeoise and the Pleas
ure secISer-A Revival on the Pont
Neuf and Louis Treiso-Ernest Re-
National Republican., 1885-12-12

"Partics seem to be necessary observes
the message, "and viii long continue to
exist We violate no confidence IN stating
that Mr. Cleveland hauled this Great
Truth into camp with one hand tied be-
hind him.
National Republican., 1885-12-12

TIE NASHVILLE DAILY AMERICAN, the
leading Democratic Journal south of the
Ohio, will be Kept regularly on sale hereafter
by W. S. Roose, Metropolitan Hotel News
National Republican., 1885-12-12
THE PARIS OF TO-DAY.

TIE MINISTRY AND TIE CREDITS
IRETUBLC, AND BouLEyARDIERs.
National Republican., 1885-12-12

You can buy handsome solid gold ladies'
watch for sl5 at Jacobs Brothers, 1929 Pennsyl-
Yania avenue.
National Republican., 1885-12-12
How He Hauled 1t In.

You can buy handsome pair of pearl opera
glasses for $3.50, worth SO, ut Jacobs Bros,
l22O IennsylyanIn nYenue.
National Republican., 1885-12-12
"Whcre arc you Adam?
Here am /, madam"

But II can never have been habitually prac-
tiCed until after the fall. The intrusion Of
tintinnabulating Examinations into the con
versational intercourse Of men and angels
would have spoiled Paradise ITSELF Milton
would not have them even In paradise
Lost" you remember. For my own part, /
wish certain rhymes could be declared con-
traband Of written or printed language.
Nothing should be allowed to be hurled at
the world or whirled with 1t, or furled upon
1t or curled over it; all eyes should be
kept away from the skies, In spite OF
os homini sublime dedit; youth should be
coupled with all the virtues except truth;
earth should never be reminded Of her birth;
death should never be allowed to stop
mortal's breath, nor the bell to sound his
knell nor flowers from blossoming bowers
to wave over his grave or show their bloom
upon his tomb. We have rhyming diction-
aTies-let us have one from which all rhymes
are vigorously excluded. The sight of q
poor creature grubbing for rhymes to I'll up
his sonnet, or TO cram one Of those voracl-
Gus, rhyme.swallowing rlgmaroles which
some of our drudging poetical operatives
have been eXhausting themselves Of late to
satiate with jingles, makes my head ache
and my stomach rebel.
National Republican., 1885-12-12

FURS! FURS! FURS
Ladies and Children's Fur Capes, Col
lars, and Mufis,
in oil the --latest Fashionable Designs.
Seal Sacques,
All Lengths and Prices.
Seal Caps for Ladies and Gents.
Boys Seal Caps at $1.OO.
Black Hare Muffs of excellent quality
at $1.OO.
Ladies' Beaver Mufls from 5000 up,
Gents Fur Gloves and Collars.
Also Gents Dress ana Driving Gloves.
Carriage Robes.
Foot Muiis for Driving.
Good, Warm Fur Caps at 81 and $3.50.
Fur Trimming,
OF all kinds and widths but only Of good reliable
qualities, and at same prices as the many inferior
grades now In the market.
Special attention is called to our
Beaver Trimming.
II Ia the handsomest ever shOwR IN this city, hav-
ing been cut TO our order from the finest selected
skins, which are used only for very choice furs.
JAMES Y. DAYIS' SONS,
HATTERs AND PURIFIERS,
Established 1880. O2I PENNA. AVE,
National Republican., 1885-12-12
THE ETERNAL JINGLE.
An Autocratio Protest Against the
Rhyming Epidemic.

[olivor Wendell Holmes in December Atlantic.
just now there seems to be an epidemic
Of rhyming, as bad as the dancing mania
or the sweating sickness, After reading n
certain amount of manuscript verse one is
disposed to anathematize the inventor OF
homophonous syllabillcation. This, that
early
National Republican., 1885-12-12

Newmarket Cloaks, in
black and brown, for $3.50;
worth So.
100 dozen Colored-bord-
cred Handkerchiefs, all linen,
worth 2oc, at &c.
Silk Velvet, all shades,
worth $1.5o. at Sac.
Ladies' 4-button Colored
La Creme Jouvin Kid Gloves,
worth $1.a5; only a few
dozen left yet, at CSC.
Pattern Bonnets, worth
$40 and SIS, now sold at S.
and So.
Connecticut western news., 1885-09-30
GREAT HARRINGTON.

Cattle show is the leading excitement in town this week, and everybody and his wife are making preparations to put in three full days, bringing with them all their uneles, ,aunts and cousins to see the wonderful things of Southern Berk- shire, from fancy horse to a Bantam rooster. The fair grounds are put in tip-top order and if the weather is pleas ant there will be an immense crowd.
 Mir Brusie, who sold the Union hotel last spring to Mir McAuliffe, has lately bought house, barn and lot on North Elm street, of Mir Gilmore. Mir Brusie had moved to North Egremont and says he could not say he was homesick but he did not feel quite at home out of Harrington village.
 Mir Rrainard, Mir Russell and others have lately bought several acres of land on the slope west of the railroad, in- tending to put up dwellings, and report says, large hotel to attract city board CTS.
 Rev MT Adams of New Hartford gave us good Sermon last Sunday morning from Rev MT Scudder's pupit, MT Scud- der being out of town.
Connecticut western news., 1885-09-30
ASHLEY FALLS,

1
 There s music on the plain-see birth list.
 Prayer meeting this evening at W. H. Dunbar's.
 MT Henry McArthur of Hudson, N. Y. was great addition to the choir Sun day.
 Rev B. N. Lewis of Falls Village ex- changed pulpits with Rev Barlow last Sunday. His text at this place was Jeremiah, xxIu, latter part of 28th verse: "What is the chaff to the wheat ? saith the Lord"
 Some from this place who took in the excursion to Hartford recently, and some who did not attend, seem to have great deal to say about the capitol, and one who seems very familiar with the "done" of the building must be founding new language, as we fail to find word of that construction in the English lan- guage.
 A little barefoot urchin, just big enough to run alone and belonging to some of the inhabitants of the "plain between this place and Clayton, ven- tured within the "city limits Saturday, and before returning created quite a sensation. He was in Ferris park when number of dogs, which were frolicking about the ground, started after him. The young ragamuffin wasted no time but at once commenced pedestrianism and travelled as fast as his feet would carry him in search of place of safety. Mir Abbott was riding by at the time and the little runaway, being nearly fright ened to death, ran under the thills of the wagon between the horse and the front wheels. The forward axle struck his head and when the horse was brought to standstin the boy was pick ing himself up under the back part of the wagon.
 Those who were so taken in on the Gazetteer of Berkshire County" last March, now have " History of Berk- shire County" on their hands, but this time it is $15 instead of $5.50. The scheme used to entrap the victims IS principally the same as that used for the former book. The agent came about ascertaining the various business occu- pations of the place preparatory to pub fishing the work, and after securing the information required asked the owner to sign his name to the paper "to show that the property belonged to him, D and of course many did so, not thinking what the result might be. Last Wednes- day the agent returned with the book a large volumn of over 700 pages, pub lished by J. B. Beers X Co.,, N.Y.-with the signatures on contract for the pub ication, and left the book. Some, how ever, did not sign any paper at all, but their names were on the list, although not in 8 fac simile of their own handwriting, as were the others. The persons in this place who have the books have left them wrapped up just as the agent brought them and say they will never pay for them-and it is hoped they will not. The fraudulent business has gone about far enough and those of this vicinity who have been 'Fstuck" are anxious to aid others in the same boat to put stop to it, and thus save being imposed upon in the same way hereafter. ..
Connecticut western news., 1885-09-30
FALLS VILLAGE.

o. M. Brinton is visiting friends at Schenectady, N. Y.
 There will be Union temperance prayer meeting at South Canaan church Wednesday evening and at the M. E. church here Thursday evening.
 Miss Nellie Hosford of Friendsfeld, Pa. is guest of Julius Hosford.
 Mrs P. Hurlburt and two sons who have been visiting at Miss S.L. Perry's returned to their home at Providence R. I. last week.
 Fred Collins of Millerton N. Y. is clerking at G. V. Capron's.
 Miss Nellie Hall of Bridgeport was in town over Sunday, visiting friends and home. .....e.
 Two of the happiest men in town are Peter Hicks and Elmer Bartlett. You ask them what makes them feel so ju- bilant, their reply will be '10-pound baby boy up to our house" "Have something?"
 Walter Hubbell and Lizzie Sparks were joined in the bonds of matrimony last week Tuesday at P. NJ. The mar riage took place at the brides home, Rev B. N. Lewis officiating. We wish them much joy.
 Mrs T. c. Bradbury and son, Eddie, of Haggerstown, Md, are guests of Les ter Denegar. Eddie goes to the "Hurl- but school, Lime Rock this winter.
 The dance in Citizens hall, last Fri day evening, was well attended and all enjoyed good time.
Connecticut western news., 1885-09-30
WEST CORNWALL.


 Artist James H. Moser has gone to Canton, Ohio, for month or so.
 Rev MT Bullard of Hartford spoke last Sunday in behalf of the American tract society.
 The "Gold"en wedding on CreamHill this afternoon is the great event of the season.
 Miss Sarah Miller is visiting her brother and sister in New Haven for Q few weeks.
 School in the Dean district commenc- es next week, taught by Miss Belle Lane of Killingworth. .
 Mir and Mrs George White of Winsted spent Sunday with friends in town.
 William Oldfeld is still in charge of the depot at Stockbridge, where he has been located several weeks.
 c. W. Delliber, a former resident has been stopping here few days.
 Such luscious black raspberries as Earl Stevens picked on his bushes last week would put the productions of ear ly spring far back in the shade.
 A. K. Thompson leaves for Bridge port Saturday, having secured a situa- tion in Chafee's grocery store. A temperance meeting is to be held in the chapel tomorrow evening with a list of interesting speakers.
 Thomas Fenn is suffering with a sprained ankle, the result of scaling 8 wall in the game of wicket at Ellsworth last Friday.
 Rev c. N. Fitch, our former pastor, it is expected will preach next Sunday
Connecticut western news., 1885-09-30
FAX KEVHLLE,

Your Ore Hill correspondent did not send you notice last week of the finding on the 17th inst, of five months old male child in field belonging to the late Homer Gibbs, about half a mile from any house. The child is cared for by Mrs GeorgeShaw of this village. The selectmen have offered reward of $50 for the apprehension and conviction of the inhuman creature or creatures who placed the child there, evidently to die. It is hoped that the person or persons who left the child there will be brought to justice.
 Lawyer John Hubbard spent part of last week in Litchfeld.
 The Lakeville third nine went to State Line, Saturday, to play their third game with the Millerton third nine. Six in- nings were played, consuming nearly three hours, from three o'clock till six At six o'clock the umpire called the game as the ball could hardly be seen. The score was 22 to 34 in favor of Lake vile. The Millertons being larger and stronger fellows refused to give up the ball. That shows the real nature of some of the Millerton boys.
Connecticut western news., 1885-09-30
BALW@RURY.

T. F. Dexter and wife are spending a few days with friends in Sheffield, Mass.
 Mrs John G Landon has experienced a weeks illness, but is out again.
 A party of ten young ladies from Lee, Mass, with colored cook, have taken possession of the Chittenden place for a short time, but we wish they would stay all winter.
 Mrs Nettie Weed of Washington, D. O., is spending few weeks at Lawn cottage.
 Potatato digging is going on. The crop is very small about the village.
 Mrs Martin Harris fell from a chair last Friday, injuring her side very bad ly, but no bones were broken.
 Justice Barton was kicked in the head few days ago by one of his horses as he was passing by it in the stall. Dr Burtch dressed the wound and it is do- ing nicely now. We would advise Mir Barton to feed less oats.
Connecticut western news., 1885-09-30
CORNWALL BRIDGE.

Horse trading is very popular in our village.
 Potatoes, rye, oats and buckwheat are principally gathered.
 Temperance meetings are being held here.
 G. s. Bradley was in our village last Monday. He is looking spare in flesh probably from hard labor on Sharon mountain.
 The farmers in our vicinity are very much disappointed in the oat crop, the dry weather being the cause.
 We learn that former resident of this place, MT Rossiter B. Hopkins of Sharon, had the most wonderful crop of oats ever raised in this state-viz, eight bushels to the shock. Labor by his efficient help shows that in his and their work Sharon will be well-stocked with oats, the prices gradually decrsasing;
Connecticut western news., 1885-09-30
ROUTHEIELD-

H. Van Deusen is home once more from Westfeld.
 Miss Anna Hinman arrived at E. Scoville's last week.
 Mrs Ed Cook made call at her mothers, Saturday night. Mrs Barber and Miss Burghardt also from Great Harrington were at H. Walling's.
 Howard Cook left for HoIyoke last week, for short visit.
 MrGeorge H. Martin, a state education al agent, visited our schools in town last week, and Friday afternoon held a meeting of the teachers and school committee at the school house here.
 H. l.. Barber begins his building, ice house, barn, etc, this week H. l.. Walling does the boss work.
 Judging from the quantity of whips going every day from our shop here, lots of them are sold and the business increasing.
 Our former pastor, l.. B. Scott, now at Fishkill Village N. Y. was with us on Sunday and preached in the after noon.