Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-11-01

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on board hiaassIt, but sent one Of hishench-
men aboard to learn what he conld about
the new steamer.
allow fast does she gof the men asked
me.
"'WeIl, ] told him, we ran her down
allow on accoun. of the paint. You see
che Is Just new and the paint not fairly
dry. We very seldom ran her over 10
knots an hour coming down. II wouin {
have paid to press her, for it would Just
have stripped the pant off like you'd SKIN
a rabbit. / went allow and saved the paint.
But I'll speed her little going back.
This was comforting information for Mr..
Steamboat Whitney. 1t is great temerlty
on my part to mention him at all, because
the last time wrote about him he threaten
ed dire vengeance upon me with CLUBS,
pistols, and other warlike things, and as
he is q great, strspping fellow, almost .
feet in height, he is not to be trihed with.
But the knowledge Of thousand miles OF
sea between Us makes me bold. l was
pained, however, to hear from the Captain
that the last time Mr.. Whitney went to
New York he went in q sailing vessel, for
fear the steamer folks would treat him
badly on account of bis opposition steamer.
Speaking Of one Whitney reminds me OF
good story of another Whitney. This other
Whitney is q very different sort of Whitney.
No Builder of wind steamboats,, bat the
happy and hospita5ls owner Of two as hand
some villas as are to be found in Bermuda
or anywhere elsa. This is a briet and
pesceable yarn.
1T is as good as q play" said the Cap
tain, to hear Mr.. Whitney describe the
opening of the Bermuda Parliament. The
Governor and the Chief,Justice and all ths
high and mighty officers are out in uni
form and great state, and it is q grand oc
casion. Bat one thing about it is grsndel
than all the rest, and wish l could des
cribe it as Mr.. Whitney does, and work in
his Jolly laugh, 1t always tickles the old
gentleman immensely to describe this part
Of the pageant. where the Chaplain, in his
opening prayer thanks God that we are al
peace with all the other nations OF the
earthp Bermuda ut peace with all the
other nations! The old gentleman
generally laughs till he chOkes when he
tells that"
1t did not do, of course, to let the Cap
tain DO all the talking-:hough | believe
privately, that he could tell good stories al
night. An outsider who had Just wasted
half box of matches trying 10 light hi;
pipe 10 the wind from portfolio, and who
: had also visited Bermuda, broke in uuex
pectedlY with story about the peopls o.
the interior.
while they were having one of theiI
recent rebellions over in Cuba, said ne
"a number Of her q uietsud wealthy citizens
desiring to live in q more pescea6le place
had some notion of moving to Bermuda
Accordingly one of them wrote to prom
iuent man there, asking number Of cues
tons about the character Of the coutry snc
the people, the soil the climate, the taxes
J and asking among other things, arc th'
people of the interior at peace with tn
, people on the coastY / need not reminC
any of YOU gstlemeu who have been there
, that Bermuda is in some places nearly
mile and half wide, and that the idea o
, the people of The interior b ing a. wa
, vita the people on the coast is Infinitely
ridiculous ESea the stsid onion raiser
laughed when they read that question"
~ have heard that story" said the Cap
tain, land few trips ago, when the Gov
ernor went down with me, he told me ont
night that bs hoped he would fud th'
people Of the interior Ct peace with TIT
people on the coast W
Bermuda, somehow, seemed TO be a pc
subject for the story teilers. Perhaps il
was because the Captain had just told US
on the evening that most OF these yarn
were spun, that we were exactly on thu
latitude Of Bermuda. and not more than {
hundred and fifty miles away. At any rate
another outsider uubosomed himself o
these two Bermuda onions:
They have way out in Bermuda,
said tbs outsider, "of setting small wooden
traps to catch fab, which they call fish pots
They generally do this just about dusk, sc
that other people will not find the pots nnc
steal the Gsh. Then they go early in III
morning and take the fish out They 'loca'e
the pot by some object on shore, such as {
tree or big rock, SO that they will be SURF
to kuow where to fud it again. One even
ing, lust before dark, Iear.sighted Der
mudisn went out to the lsud of bis next
door neighbor and set his fish pot, locating
|, it By what he took to be pile of brush OF
the summit Of an adjacent hill. In tn,
morning, when he went after his fish, TIL
brush heap was gone, and there was NJ
Esh pot to be found. Meeting the neigh
Dor soon afterwasd, he upbrsided him wltl
moving the brush heap aud thus destroying
his landmark for finding the fish pot.
why said the neighbor there neve
was any brush heap on that hill. Yor
must have located your fish po. by my old
dun cow
Another Bermudiau, smarter than tn
nesr.sighIed fisherman, was riding slor!
: one of their smooth white roads on horse
back, when his foot was jolted out of tn
stirrup At the same instant fly bother
ed the horse, aud he lifted one OF his hinC
feet to brush it of, and the shoe caught il
the stirrup.
: "'Well,' said the Bsrnudian. if your
J going to get up I'll get down."
, put in mild protest here against an,
! more Bermuda stories, because this las
; one seemed to SAVIOR of some old almana
| Joke altered to suit the occasion.
"I2s q pretty long jump" said The Cap
tain, ITO skip from Bermuda to Maine
but I'll tell yop q little Maine story. Ii
about boss corn bread.
"If you don't happen to know what 'hoss
: corn bread is, l will tell you that it is corr
bread made out of yellow cornmesl-o
from the kind of corn usually fed to horses
( friend of mine who lived in Maine hac
some business down South. he never hs(
been further South than Portland before
and when he got down into Mississippi be
was very much surprised 10 see the people
eating yellow corn-hoss corn-bresd
When he got back home he said to one o
his cronies:
az see 8 man down thera estin' corn
bread-hoss corn bread. You may not be
lieve il, but it's so.
"'Hoss corn bread said his friend, il
wonder, and did he iveY