Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1885-05-29
ROBINSON'S WIFE.
A Custom House sketch by a Man of
Experience.

EApeEAthtCs
eve were on our wedding trip, Mrs.
Robinson and |, in the spring of IS
well, Mrs. Robinson doesn't like me
TO saw how long we have been mar,
ried but il IS several years ago. AT
that time travelling in Europe was
hedped about with many difficulties
from which now 1t is, thank heaven,
comparatively free. Passports were
10 be provided, and what not, and in
short. t was the end and object OF
every petty principality-this was be-
fore &c, and sovereign prince were as
plenty as blackberries in mia Europe
to make it as unpleasant as possible
for any traveller not properly accred>
tied TO his or their serene Highness.
However, this has little or moth
ing TO do with nay story, when res
lates exclusively to my experience
with the Custom House officials, ex-
cept it be to explain how everybody
was suspicious of everybody else, and
there diamond cut diamond was the
order of the day, thieves and advent
urers generally passed the frontiers
triumphant, while other wise honest
folk frequently paid the penalty Of
being caught in an occasional breach
Of the moralities.
Now my wife, like all her sex, had
peculiar notions on the subject OF
contraband goods. She held in com
mon, | am bound to say, with many
otherwise scrupulously honest folks
that Custom House officials were only
invented for the annoyance OF travel
ers, and as such it was not Onl y al
lowabIe but praiseworthy to circum-
vent them IN every possible way.
''ln short, IL was a case Of all beng
fair in love or war They were there
10 detect and prevent the passage OF
certain articles. II was obviously the
duty Of every right-mlnded person to
res ent this arbitrary conduct on their
part by carrying from one country to
another as many Of the said articles,
concealed more or less ingeniously
upon their persons, rs the nature OF
the case permitted.
81, on the contrary, not only had
seriously qualms as to the honesty OF
the proceeding in question, but bolng
then, rs now, of naturally tlm!d
disposition ] conceived that tho pleas
urG Of cvading the payment of few
dollars on a piece Of lace or Il box oil
cigars would be dearly purchased by
the anxiety which ] should endure
when perceived the eye of stern,
visaged official fixed upon me, and
felt that looked like murderer, and
should politely be detained on suspl
cion, and perhaps searched.
even the tenor of this last appeal
10 her reason failed to convince my
wife"
IL am sure no one would ever
want to search me, she insisted. And
really don't see the harm.
ITO which | replied III the words OF
we'll known novelist that Il had
never known but one woman who
could understand reason, and she
wouldn't listen to IT..
"Weil, to make a long story short,
we argued the question out until both
Of ms became quito warm, aud | ended
by absolutely rorbidding my wife to
carry anything nf cOntraband nature
on her person. She made no reply,
and /, fond man, supposed the matter
settled. had only been married a
few months, and | had the mos
absurd ideas as my vito vii
tell you on the subject of duty and
obedience, and 50 forth. You see did
not know the SIX
"Wc bad n delightful run through
Europe without any special disaster,
anu my wife's air Of injured inne-
ccnce expressed for the most in very
indifferent French, but making up in
expression what it lacked in idiom-
when asked to declare any dutiable
articles, was positively beyond de-
scripton.
1T was ut Brussels, | think, that
read IL one of the ERgliSh papers OF
tn" arrest of French women &. Dover
charged with smuggling over guam
uty of lace which they had wrapped
around tutAr persons under their
clothing, and which was only discov-
cred ON their being searched by the
officials.
1.-The writer added that regular
corps OF female searchers mad been
added to the department, and that
suspicious characters were invite to
step in aud interview these ladies with
a view to indicating their appear
ancc failing under the tenure Ell the
law.
II showed the paper to my wife,
whose only comment was, More fools
they
50 suppose she meant to express her
contempt for women who were fool
lah enough TO look Suspicious. /
thought at the time she intended to
convey her opinion of the folly of at
tempting 10 outwit her Most Gracious
Majcsty'S servants, and felt relieved
ut the idea that my arguments had
prevailed upon her at last
Once more, Brown, old fellow, |
showed my ignorance Oft sex. My
arguments had had precisely the
same weight with her as my COM
mandS.
Mrs. Robinson spent good deal
of money in Brussels. Indeed, when
ON our way to OStend | came to add
mp the amount | had given her during
our short stay. felt, | must confess,
little staggered 10 fluid how much.
But 1t seemed little early to allude
to such mundane matters, and held
my peace, only considering what the
dickens she had got to show for it
all.
ION the steamer, as in duty bound,
Mrs. Rob- nsou paid that tribute Of
respect whi ell Father Neptune de
mands of the majority of those who
venture upon his domains. In word,
Mrs. Robinson was awfully seasick.
And, | may add, not in the best of
humor. Aud when, in asking for her
keys, | confessed the hope that she
had followed my wishes and abstained
from bringing over anything dutia5le
III her trunks she was very injured
and-tell il not in Sath-rather cross.
90 think you might have more con-
sideration, Henry, than to bother me
nj such time. Let the wretcheS look
for themselves. They'll tiRd nothing
in my boxes, can tell yoa'
II went on deck again with the
keys, and had plenty OF time TO get a
little out of temper myself by the time
we reached the pier. Still, should
have beer more than appeaSed by the
vision OF my wife's suffering, but to
my astonishment, when she did arise
up the companion ladder, she was
positively radiant. She had taken
the utmost pains with her personal
appearance, and managed somehow.
never knew-to fight down the least
L