davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1885-03-27

A fine line of furnishing goods, hats and
caps etc, cheap at Hellman's.
, 1885-03-27

Glitch celebrated Creole coffee, and
doughnuts, and his great pan roasts.
, 1885-03-27

Clark and Chatterton have Just recei-
we'd a supply of New Orleans molasses.
Only $l.0o per gallon. Telephone No.
III.
, 1885-03-27

Send your coal order to telephone N
l76, MA Smith.
, 1885-03-27
Down Goes The Prices of Boots
And Shoes
5. BON's LEADING SHOE HOUSE.

To make room for the immenee spring
stock which is daily arriving. Have
marked my entire stock way below reg
ular prices and will offer rare bargains
in footwear for the next thirty days. No
job lot, but good solid goods and every
pair warranted. Call early and secure a
bargain.
s. Box, 245 Sixteenth street.
, 1885-03-27

You can get all the coal you want Of
Marshall Smith.
, 1885-03-27

Boots and shoes just received at Po-
lacks.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
The COOPERATIVE Plan.

An Ohio manufacturer, who started
in business year ago, called his en-
ployes around him and said:
''Now, boys, this is young business
and can't pay big wages at the start.
However, | mean to do the right thing
by you. Wen work together, like.
Whatever sum is left over at the end of
the year, after making allowances for
my interest, wear and tear and services,
shall be divided pro rata.
The year being up the other day the
employees gathered to hear statement
read.
Boys, / am happy to inform YOU"
began the boss, ''that there was $500
left over to be divided among you ac-
cording to the old scheme
Hear, hearr'
''But grief compels me to add that I
had to embezzle the sum named to buy
diamonds for my wife, so that nothing
is left. Let US make a reduction in
wages and start anew. '-WaU Street
Ne2CS.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
Encouraged to Experiment.

He was a bashful wooer, but there
was a certain manliness about him
which indicated that he only needed q
little encouragement to let himself out.
She saw this, and she resolved on a
policy of encouragement.
DO you believe these stories in the
funny papers," she asked, ''about the
willingness of young ladies to be
kissed?"
IL really can't say" he replied.
They may be true. Then, gather
ing courage, he added: II hope they
are true" and be drew closer to her.
1T seems to me-" she said, ''that
there is only one way in which a young
man can discover whether they are
true or not.
..And what way is that?" he asked.
There was brief pause. Then with
PARKWAY look in her eyes, she
answered.:
by experimenting when he has the
opportunity"
He experimental.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
The Musical Bore.

Mr.. Allwind perpetrates q flute solo.
and you resolve never again to be
angry with the street urchin for
whistling the latest music hall air. MIR.
Catgut assumes 4 Paganini attitude,
and mercilessly scrapes on the violin.
Then Miss Squeal favors the company
with song or scena-two chest notes
to six head notes, and all devoid Ct
quality and sweetness, as is the sound
of saw Sharpening Well there are
amateurs and amateurs, and some are
musicians though not professionals;
but | ask is it fair, or reasonable, or
humane, that / should be compelled to
listen hour after hour to amateur must
clans, who are generally very unmusi-
cal, when for very few shillings can
hear accomplished musicians? Am |
to be secuted as non-musical because [
prefer singers who can sing. and play
ers who can play? Moreover, you
have not only to listen to the
amateur musical lions, but you are
bound, under the penalty of beng
stigmatized as a bear, to admire and
applaud them. The opinions of the
amateur musical lions are almost as
VeXatlOns as their performances. Do
you not think that PATHS upper regist-
er is rather metallic? What pity
Nilsson is addicted to florid phrasing!
The sonatas Of Beethoven are spoiled
by their padding! The italian melo-
dists are saccharine. but common
place. Wagner would be delightful if
his motif was not so often involved in
misty mysticism. The old English
ballads are not bad in their way, but
they are so elementary and twangy.
And it is an offenSe to disagree with
the amateur musical lion. You have
endured the music and talk for hours,
and then as you depart there is another
trial of temper. Your hostess in the
honeyest tone of voice briefly expostul-
ates on the marvellous gifts of the must
cal lions she has exhibited, and hopes
you have enjoyed the evening, Tins
iey'S Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
A Doctors Diary.

A pocket diary picked up in the
streets of a neighboring city would
seem to indicate, from the following
choice extracts, that the owner was a
medical man:
''Kase 230. Mary An Perkins. Bis
mes, washwoman. Sickness in her he'd.
Fisk some blue pills a soaperifk; age
81. Ped me one dollar, / kuarter bo-
gus. Mind get go d kuarter and max
her tax me fisk.
''Kase 231. Tummes Krink. Bisnes.
Nirishman. Lives with Pady Molony
what keeps dray-Sikness digg in
ribs and tow blak eys. Fisk to drink
my mixter twict a day OF sasiperily
beer and jellop, and fish lie, with ash
fedity to make it taste tisiky. RUBBED
his face with kart grese liniment, aged
80 years of age. Drinked the miXter
and wuddent pay me bekase it tasted
nasty, but the mixter'll work his in
nards, l recon.
''Kase 232. Old Misses Boggs. Amt
got no bisnis, but has plenty OF money.
Sikness all a humbug. Cav her sum
of my celebrated 'Dipseforiken,"
which she sed she drank like cold tee
which it was too. Must put sumthing
in it to make her feel six and bad The
old woman has got the roks. "-Saa5-
tG9T1n
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12

It was in an Illinois town. The pa
pers were out with q sensational article
regarding the defalcation and flight of
the talk on every corner and in every
store. A NeW-Yorker who happened
to be in the town was considerably in
terested, and in conversation with
leading merchant he remarked, Il pre-
sumo he gave a bond?'' go, yes"
''And the bondsmen are good?"
That's the deuce of it, mister!" ex-
claimed the merchant Pm the only
bondsman, and he's placed me in a
mean position. was preparing to fail
and beat my Chicago creditors; but I'll
be hanged if | see how I'm to beat Chi
cago and the town too and get enough
property in my wife's name to start a
wholesale house in Dubuque. y Wall
Street N2aOS.
A young lady living in Dallas went
back on the young man to whom she
was engaged because he drank. A few
DAYS after she had told him she would
never speak to him again a little negro
boy brought note from the wretched
young man, whom we shall call George.
The note read: "'Faithless, yet still be-
loved, Fanny: My suferings are more
than [ can bear. cannot live without
your love. I have, therefore, just taken
poison, the effects of which [ am al
ready beginning to feel. When you
read these lines | will already have
joined the great silent majority. I viii
be a corpse. See that ! am decently
buried, and shed silent tear over my
tomb in remembrance of the happy
days gone by. Your dead George"
When the young lady had finished read
ing the note, she asked the little negro
who brought it what he was waiting
for? DE gemman tole me ter wait for
an answer. '-IeI0s SJtiaaqs.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12

a butchers boy carried a basket con-
tanning 2 big roast OF beet, eight pounds
of beefsteak, and six chickens for the
Sunday dinner into clearinghouse on
Eleventh street last week He had
hardly mounted his cart and driven
away down the street when a smooth
faced young man rang the basement
bell
There is some dispute at the shop
over the weight of the meat sent here
by the butcher" ne explained to the
landlady, land have been sent here to
take it back and reweigh it,
The landlady thought it was a shame
that the butcher. couldn't weigh her
meats correctly the first time.
IF your stupid clerks can't do their
work properly they ought to be dis
charged" she snapped out.
Would you be kind enough to loan
me tin pan in which to carry the
meat back to the shop?' inquired tb
young man, with an oleomargarine
smile.
The Iandlady took new bright tin
pan and dumped the roast, the steak,
and the chickens into it.
'1Q0Ee, sic 6ACIdIueu, as SuS gave
it to the young man. ''You hurryright
back with that meat, for want to cook
the roast for dinner"
The smooth-faced youth took the pan
with a Certainly, madam, and went
out to the street.
Two hours passed and the young
man had not returned. The dinner
hour approached, and the cook was be-
coming furious. At last the landlady
went post-haste to the butcher-shop
with fire in her eyes.
where that young man you sent
to my house to get the meat [ ordered
to have it reweighed?" she shouted.
II haven't sent anybody to bring
back the meat" replied the butcher.
''Well, never" said the woman, her
face red with anger. do you mean to
say / have been swindled?"
I should Judge you had unused the
butcher, as he proceeded to sell the
landlady another dinner.-Neao York
Mail and Express.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
Napoleon's Judgment.

1t was during the unsettled times
that preceded the great French revolu-
ton of 1S4S that one of Mr.. Rogers
breakfasts was attended by Prince
Louis Napoleon Bonaparte, afterward
Napoleon Ill; DR.. Whately, the Pro
testant archbishop of Dublin; Lord.
William Pitt Lennox, the son of the
duke of Richmond, and myself. The
talk of the breakfaSt-table turned a
great deal upon French politics and the
probability, more or less imminent, Of
revolutionary out break in Paris, con-
sequent upon the unwise opposition of
Louis Philippe and his too obsequious
minister.
In reply to question l told the
Prince that Beranger, who knew the
temper and sympathized with the opin-
ions Of the people, had predicted the
establishment of q republic, consequent
upon the downfall of the monarchy,
within less than atwelyemonth. Prince
Napoleon remarked that ''if there were
barricades in the streets of Paris, such
as those by which his way to the throne
was won in 1880, the king would not
give orders to dispense the mob by
force OF arms. ''Nh by do you think
so?" asked Mr.. Rogers. The king is
q weak man, merciful man. He does
not like bloodshed. l often think he
was fool not to have had me shot az
ter the affair OF Strasbourg. Had our
eases been reversed, | know that
would have had him shot without mer-
cy." l thought little of this remark
3t the time but in after wears when
the eXiled prince became the powerful
emperor, my mind often reverted to
this conversation, and I thought if
King Louis Philippe had done what the
prince considered he ought to have
done-and as he would have been fully
justified by law, civil and military, as
well as by state policy, in doing the
whole course of European history would
have been changed. GeRtjeman's Mag
G-j2p
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
Woman's Cruelty to Women.

The girls in the women's stores are
treated with either tyranny or contempt
by their sisters whom they wait upon,
and when handsome Bob carried into
one of these stores the masculine Gus
tom of tipping the girl who waited on
him with a quarter of dollar tears
came into her eyes.
Il have not offended you, have I?"
said Bob.
''Oh, no." she said, "but in all the
years | have stood behind these coun-
tiers that is the first kindly attention L
ever received. y
What said Bob, ''such an exper
fence in a life spent in the service OF
ladies! How can that be?"
oh" she said, laughing and turn
ing to end the conversation, .'Iadles are
one sort of creatures to the men and
quite another sort among themselves.
hope YOU may never see them as they
see themselves.
Bob told me this as joke. He
thinks the girl was crank | know
better. She was philosopher.-Clara
Belle.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
Learning "PerIiteness" and Gram
mar.

The pay-train stopped at Willow
Bend to pay the railroad hands and to
liquidate claims for cattle on the track
in that section. A gaunt, hungry-look-
ing Granger stepped up to the smart
young man who was dispensing the
cash in the rear end of the car. SCOT
my name on your books, mister?"
How should [ know unless you tell me
your name?" ''Kerrect you are. You
have got the edge on me there. Well,
my name is Rufus McConkey." YES"
said the young man, referring to his
books, Mr.. McConkey, I have got you
down for a hog" ''Have me down for
a hog, have you? Well, III have you
down for q half an hour, and I'll be on
top of you, maxim it sorter eXcitin' to
you, if you don't revise that expression.
Now, say after me, Col. McConkey,
School Trustee, Fourth District-Your
name, sir, is on this here list as q honey
fider creditor of the [. & @. n. Rail
road, which the amount are $10 the
vally of one spotted Berkshire hog; said
amount of $40, it do me proud to hand
to you. Won't you have cigar, Col
oneI?' The smart young assistant
paymaster repeated after Mr.. McCon-
key word for word, handed Mr.. McCon-
key the $40, and then gave him cigar.
Col. McConkey put the hammer of his
six-shooter back to half-cock, and then
strobe out, muttering: ''Some city
chaps think they're smart, but they Il
find they has to come out on the per-
aries to learn perliteness an gram
mar. "-TeG0S Siftings.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
Justice in New Jersey.

sit is said that one Of the first cases
Ira Shafer obtained when he left Al
bany for New York twenty years ago,
was that of man charged with assault
with attempt to kill. He was to be
tried before Jersey police justice, and,
upon the date set, Hon. Ira was on
hand and remarked that he appeared
for the prisoner. The justice, who was
a German. remarked: ''You appears
for the bris'ner, do We? And who de
debil be you? ton't knows We; vair
be you come from, and watts yer
name?" Ira politely informed him
that he was member of the New York
bar. Is bort SOP replied the Justice.
Vel den you can't bracticein dis gort.
But [ am a counsellor of the Supreme
Court of the State of New York, pro-
tested Shafer. Dot don't make not
ing teferent.' But my dear sir, OBJ
iected the baf1ed lawyer, I am coun-
selIor of the Supreme Court of the Unit
ed States Dat don't make nothing
PETER You amt a counsellor of the
Supreme Court of New Jersey, andyou
can't practice in this gort. To this
day Shafer AYERS that New Jersey is q
foreign ccuntry.-AEbang E1DresS.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12
Takes Him TO Task.

Il see, said an Englishman, ''that
Richard Grant White declares that no
matter how long Cornwall or York
shire man lives in this country he can
not get rid of the peculiarities of speech
which he took up in infancy. This is a
mistake. l ave only been ere ten
years and can deceive any one as to
the place of my native 'ome."
probably Mr.. White did not think
of you" some one replied.
Eyes, but what right as e to make
such assertions? I admit that there are
a great many of US who continue to
drop our haiches after coming to this
country, but you only find it among
men who never stop to think. If White
should talk to me, I'd simply say Mr.
White, cit hout. You don't know good
English from an ole in the ground. !"
-4ybqpSdgC Traveller.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12

The London Globe says that there is
an exceptionally strong inducement at
the present moment to indulge in the
luxury of litigation in the Supreme
Courts. Mr.. Justice Hawkins says that
in the new Palace of Justice there is
mo library of more value than three
hafpence in the pound and Mr.. JUS
tice Grove ''cannot even get an act of
Victoria" when he sends for it. Suit
ors, therefore, viii enjoy the excite
ment of getting judgments which are
not likely to be tainted by widowed
Drecedents.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12

l saw, myself, writes Admiral Porter,
in his new book soon to be published,
the great strongholds of Sevastopol of
the Malakof tower and the Redan the
day after they were taken by combin-
ed army of 10000 men; and these
strongholds, which have become IA
nous in ballad and story, never in any
way compared with the defenses of
Vicksburg, which looked as if a thou
sand Titans had been put to work to
make these heights unassailable.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12

A celebrated French psychologist de-
clares that a person sleeping on his
right side has incoherent and absurd
dreams, but sleeping on his left side
his dreams are of an intelligent nature.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12

Every common trade in Amsterdam
has a government shop where deserV-
ing poor can always find employment.
The goods there made are used by the
government instead of being sold.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1885-03-12

mon house fly moves its wings $50 times
per second, or 10, 500 times per minute.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-10-29
0 OF CLASS.

Spun and Woven Like silk-The State
Robe of q Hind % Prince.
Visitors to the Metropolitan Museum
of Art have often stopped to gaze at the
specimens of beautiful. glassware there
to be found, and have wondered if
America could produce such work.
Contrary to the general opinion, the
answer is that this country can and
does produce it. Brooklyn has a glass
manufacturer who furnishes all manner
of antique glass. in iridescent colors, in
shades, stained, aud with an inward
fire, initiating rubies. opals. cat's-eyes,
pearls, and other precious stones, but
ove glass is made in Pittsburgh, of
the finest imaginable texture. Said a
glass manufacturer. when asked to tell
something about the latter form of
glass:
1.-The first processes of making woven
glass are the same as in making n
kind of colored work. The ingredients,
sand, coloring, ETC., are mixed together
and placed in the furnace to melt.
When the mass has about become fused
into a molten substance the furnace is
opened and some of it is taken out by
two workmen, who stretch it in the
factory until it looks like a red-hot rope
from one-half to three-fourths of an
inch in diameter. These ropes are
allowed to cool, and then are taken into
the spinning-room. In the center
of this room is an immense wheel
of wood, eight and a half feet
in diameter. The periphery is a foot
wide, as smooth as glass itself. At one
side of the wheel is a blow-pipe, SO ar
ranged that the blow is at right angles
with the wheel, and blowing hot air.
The bar of glass as it comes into the
room is given to an operator, who holds
it in his blow-pipe, and it melts. An
other workman takes a pair of pincers
and draws q thread of glass from the
melting bar, and this he winds about
the wheel, when the steam is turned on
and the machinery begins to revolve.
The big wheel makes three hundred
revolutions a minute, and draws a
thread of glass from the melting bar
continually. At first the thread is
thick, but it becomes more and. more
fine, until the finest silk is no more frag-
lie or gossamerlike. As it becomes fine
it loses its brittleness. and becomes
more elastic and pliable. and gains in
tensile strength also. When q suffi-
GENTLY large col of thread has been
made it is taken from the wheel and
bound up in skeins. and then the ma
terial is taken to the weaving machine.
This is exactly like a silk-weaving ma
chine, and the cloths come out in beau.
tiful texture and color. The finer
threads of glass unite as do threads of
silk, and the fabric when done may be
of any color. Combinations of color
can be used. and changeable goods are
more easily manufactured than in silk.
A state robe made for a Hindoo prince
of this material was of gold, silver,
clear and ir.descent glass, and when
done it was like a mass of minute prec.
ious stones. more m~arvelously beautiful
than anything ever seen by me before
N. Y. Tribune.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-10-29
FARM N

Clean gilt frames, or discol0red
gliding on the basket chairs, with a
little weak ammonia. - Philadelphia
Ledger.
1t is a mistake to give salt to stock
at irregular intervals. Eating too much
is injurious, and unless cows have a
regular supply the milk will be very
difficult to make into good butter.-M.
Y. Herald
Those who grow sorghum should
allow the seed to partly ripen before
cutting the crop. The yield of sweet is
not less, and sorghum seed is worth as
much per bushel for feeding as corn,
and is In important part of the product.
Prairie Farmer.
Mullins Mix one pint milk, two
eggs, three tablespoons yeast, salt, with
flour to make a stiff batter; let rise four
or five hours and bake in muffin rings
in a hot oven for about ten minutes;
these may be made with graham flour
by adding two tablespoons molasses.-
The Household.
An apple ice. or pear. peach or
| grape, may be made very palatable by
MASKING or grinding the fruit, adding
sugar and fiavoring according to the
fruit, and freezing the same as other
ice. When partially frozen. stir into
ice a pint of whipped cream, and finish
m- 49,. r,Lo 49,
PRESERVES eacnes Ian sA
pounos OF Inc oess nrees't thsp ea LINES . Il
par, soone au f qu rar aner tpan anJ
set in q covered dish for several hours:
then mt into a nreservino kettle and
boil yerv slowly for an hour or more.
sI;mmino them well-To1edo blade,
T.:a5 ~s;aL"o. ~. o"ob ono -
Lfrieo Cnicken: Sus eacn que "a
eignI OF niae pieces; ai.er slng'ng anu
ulaWingi IatIen sl,gnIiy: pun IL an
eal'nen olsn, Will san Peppei' Pais ay
oay ,e for sn eh{nn 0rs a III roII J.; I't 49, ~
s:eep i paa Two LOU. r%nn 1i aaa;n IN fuash
ulp ~ oeas1n ogss III asa 4h,raraIIr
Dreau clulnos. ny siUw u aut d;"Ls
~ d ! hand fai 81 ~ f rase narS 5 and nd ser ~,
auu NAHUM ,Ai-ou P".oioy "n 80,
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1885-10-29
h tho Commissioner of Agriculture
Said of Horses.

What tho Commissioner of Agriculture
Said of Horses.
Hon. George B. Loring, Commission
er of Agriculture of the United States,
having promised to meet with the Perch
eron Horse breeders of America, at
Chicago, Nov. Is, 1883, t~elegraphed as
follows: IL regret exceedingly my in
ability to be with you. Am heartily in
sympathy with your position. Physi-
clan positively forbids my leaving the
house. My disappointment is greater
than yours. The Percherons are recog-
nized as a distinct breed in France, and
are entitled to o Stud Book there andin
this country as much as thoroughbreds,
and as much as any breed of cattle to a
herd book. Their introduction has
greatly improved the farm and draft
horses of this country, and will, un-
doubtedly, improve the large carriage
and omnibus horses. I think the pub
LEGATION of a Stud Book in both countries
will ultimately, in this case as in all
others, add greatly to the future value
of the breed" 1t is gratifying to know
similar sentiments are entertained by
some of the prominent importers. nota-
bly, among them, MIR. M. w. Durham,
of Wayne, Illinois, who, buying none
but pedigreed stock, has done more to-
ward the introduction of the finest types
of the breed than, we might almost
say, all other men, having imported
nearly 1000 since 1872.