davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Conundrums.

Nashville Budget.
Who are consumers of time? Those
who cat dates.
Why is cats tail like the earth ?
It's fur to the end.
What is the waist of time? The
middle of an hour-glass.
Why is dogs tail novelty? 1t
was never seen before.
Why is doctor never seasick? He
is used to see sickness.
When should we read the book of
nature? When autumn turns the
leaves.
What bridge is warranted to sup
port any strain? The bridge of a fd-
die.
BY what name can father call his
son and be answered? Ben>ha-dad.
What is better than presence of
mind in railroad accident? Absence
of body.
Why is door always in the poten-
tial? Because its would wood or
should be.
Why is race horse like stick of
candy? The harder you lick it the
faster it goes.
Why is the vowel 80" the only one
sounded? All the others are in.audi-
bic.
What will give cold, cure a cold,
and pay the doctors bill? A draught
draft.
Why is tin pan tied to dogs tail
like death? Because its bound to a
cur OCCUR.
Why is the north pole like an illicit
whisky mandatory? Because it is a
secret still.
In burning your hand what three
writers would you mention? Dickens,
Hewitt, Burns.
Why was Noah like hungry cat I
He went forty days and forty nights
without finding Ararat
When was the first mention made
of paper money? When the dove
brought the green back to the ark.
What Bible name would a father
use in telling his son to get into {
crowded omnibus? Benjamin.
What is the first theater mentioned
in the Bible? When Joseph wa'
thrown from the family circle into The
pit.
What is the difference between sol
diers and young ladies? One face
the powder and the other powders thu
face.
Why is it easy for robbers to get int
old mems houses? Because their gait
are broken and their locks are few.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Mails.

Tullahoma to ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS $3.50 p.
NJ: leaves 6:O5 a. m, daily except Sundays.
McMinnville to Sparta-Arrives 500 Am;
leaves 800 PM; daily except Sundays.
Beersheba Springs-Arriyes 500 pm;
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays; leaves
600 a. m, same days
Smithville (route No. 1929 y arrives 1900
M, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays
leaves 100 pm, same days.
Smithville (route No. 1929S)-arrives 500
p. M, Mondays and Fridays; leaves 600 a
NJ, same days.
Woodbury-Arrives II m, Wednesdays
and Fridays leaves 100 pm, same days.
Horse Shoe Falls-Arrives 1900 m, Mon
days and Thursdays; leaves 200 pm. same
days.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
A Wonderful Discovery.

Consumptlves and all, who suffer
from any affection of the Throat aud
Lungs, can find a certain cure in DIR.
Kings New Discovery for Consump-
ton. Thousands of permanent cures
verify the truth of this statement. No
medicine can show such a record Of
wonderful cures. Thousands of once
hopeless sufferers now gratefully pro,
claim they owe their lives to this New
Discovery. 1t will cost you nothing
to give it trial. Free trial bottles al
J. B, Ritchey's drug store. Large size
81 9
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Important.

When you visit or leave New York
City, save Baggage, Expressage and
Carriage Hire and stop at the Grand
Union Hotel, opposite Grand Central
Depot.
Elegant rooms fitted up at cost of
one million dollars, reduced to $1.00
and upwards per day. European plan,
Elevator. Restaurant supplied with
the best. Horse cars, stages and ele.
waited railroad to all depots, Families
can live better for less money at the
Grand Union Hotel than at any other
first.class hotel in the city.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Crops in Great Britain.

The Agricultural Department of
Great Britain has issued tables show
ing the estimated average produce per
acre of the principal crops in the
Uuited Kingdom for 1884. Wheat is
the only grain crop which shows an in|
creased average yield per acre. In a
few localities the harvest is said to
have been exceptionally good, and
more productive per acre than in any
year since 1874. The variations in
yield have, however, been remarkable,
and, even within the limits of a single
district, estimated quantities of from
Is to Al bushels per acre have been
recorded, according to the character
and situation of the land on which il
was grown, and the mode of culture
pursued. The total yield of wheat in
Great Britain amounts to S0,215, 00C
bushels, the estimated average rate
being 1896 bushels per acre, or lis
bushels per acre above the normal
standard of production. Barley turn;
out slightly above standard average
the produce being as variable as thai
of the wheat crop. The yield of bar
ley in Great Britain has been 1892,
600 bushels, the ordinary average rate
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Relief from the First Application.

When person has suffered the I'M
told agonies of rheumatism and neu-
ralgia twenty-five years, when physi-
clans have failed, and when liniment
cures at one application, the fact ought
to cause thinking people to pause ard
consider if bottle of it ought not to
be in immediate readiness in every
household for the instant cure of the
aches and pains that afflict mankind.
Such was the evidence of G. M. San
ders, of Madison, Ala, and there are
volumes of other testimonials of like
character to certify that 'Mansfeld's
Magic Arnica Linlment is the best,
the par excellence of all pain killers.
Sold by druggists, and prepared by
the Mansfield Medicine Co., Memphis,
Tenn.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Very Remarkable Discovery.

Mr.. Geo. G. Willing, Of Manchester,
Mich, writes "My wife has been al.
most helpless for five years, so helpless
that she could not turn over in bed
alone. She used two bottles of Elec>
eric Bltters, and she is so much i'm
proved that she is able now to do her
own work."
Electric Bitters will do all that is
claimed for them. Hundreds of tests
monials attest their great curative pow
ers. Only fifty cents bottle at j. B.
Ritchey's. 2
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
General lneftOrp.
CHURCHEa.

Southern Methodist-Rev II. B. Reams.
pastor; services every Sunday morning and
night. Sunday.school at 81 A. M. Prayer
meeting Wednesday night.
Christian-Servces every Sunday. Prayer
meeting Wednesday night.
Presbyterian-Rev T. NJ. Mcconnell, pas
tor; services, morning and night first and
third Sundays in each month; prayer meet.
ing every Wednesday night. Sunday.school
every Sunday morning at 9H o'clock.
Cumberland Presbyterian-Rev. g. T.
Stainback pastor; services every Sunday and
at night; prayermeeting Wednesday might
Baptist Sunday-school at 9H a. NJ
Prayer meeting every Tuesday night.
Episcopal-Rev, DR.. H. R. Howard, Rec
tor: services second and fourth Thursday
nights in each month, atm E. Church, South
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
LODGES.

IL Il A. M.-Warren, No. 125-lst Monday
L night in every month, in their hall over
the court room. NJ. d. SMALLMAN, w. M.
DOYAL ARCH CHAPTER-3rd Thursday
IL night in every month.
R. KENNEDY, II. P.
I 90. F.-McMinnville, No. 146; every
L. Tuesday night, in their Hall over Il. II.
Faulkner's, r. PATTERSON, N. G..
KNIGHTS OF HONOR-Mountain City,
II No. l40; meets in Masonic hall I'd and
4th Monday nights in every month.
r. p ATERsoN D.
KNIGHTS AND LADY'S HONOR-2nd
n and 4th Thursday nights in every month.
A, II. GROSS. P.
o. u. w. meets LIST and Sd Thursday
"A. nights in each month in Odd Fellows
Hall A. H. FAULKNER. NJ. w.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

"What a incomprehensible Miriam
dy's got to be sence she went to thur
'cademy," remarked Mrs. Home
spun to her husband.
"W'y, wot's the gal been doin't
now~ asked Daniel.
"Doin'!" exclaimed Mrs. Home
spun, "w'y, she said she must go to
her room to disrobe, as she wished to
retire early"
"Disrobe and retire." murmured
Daniel, "wot's them, map"
81 Dunno" replied ma; "but she
didn't do nothin' o. the sort. She
only undressed and went to bed.
Did we over hear o. SIGH p'evarica-
tion"
Judging from the groan that came
from Daniel, it is safe to presume that
he never did.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

To cure frost bite procure enough
oil of peppermint to thoroughly battle
the parts affected and keep away from
the fire until the oil has drawn out
the frost. If this is strictly followed
many live limbs can be saved and
months Of suffering avoided. Care
should be taken to get the oil, as the
essence would not have the desired
effect.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

l.. H. Bailey remarks in the Coun-
try Gentleman that because all fruit
growers ship their products to large
cities these markets become over
stocked. Country produce is often
cheaper in large towns than it is in
the locality from which it was ship
ped. The moral is, do not neglect
a good or fairly remunerative home
market for an uncertain one at a dis
lance.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

The Pennsylvania Railroad Comp
any is making experiments at its
shops in Altoona, Pa, with electric
lights for use in passenger cars. The
experiment has progressed so favora-
bly, that it is believed that within a
few months the electric lights will be
introduced into all passenger cars on
its various nes.-Electric Review.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Positive Cure for Piles.

To the people of this county we
would say we have been given the
agency OF Dr. Anarchists Italian Pile
Ointment-emphaticaIly guaranteed to
cure or money refunded-Internal, Elk,
ternal, Blind, Bleeding or Itching
Piles. Price so cents a box. No
cure, no pay. For sale by j, B.
Ritchey, Druggist.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Daughters Wives and Mothers

We emphatically guarantee DR..
Anarchists Catholicon, Female Reme>
dy, to cure Female Diseases, such as
Ovarian troubles, inflammation and
liberation, Falling and Displacement
or bearing down feeling, Irregularities,
Barrenness, Change of Life, Leucor-
rh@a, besides many weaknesses spring
ing from the above, like Headache,
Bloating, Spinal weakness, Sleepless-
ness, Nervous debility, Palpitation of
the heart, &c. For sale by Druggists.
Prices S1.0O and $l.56 per bottle.
Send to Dir. Marchisi, Utica, N. Y,
for Pamphlet, free. For sale by DR..
j. B. Ritchey, Druggist.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

Far out at sea along the gulf coast
of Florida are several springs of fresh
water. They are well known to the
spongers and fishermen, who fire.
quently visit them to replenish their
water casks. On this same coast is
an oil spring which diffuses a calm
over troubled waters and affords a
safe refuge TO small vessels during a
gale.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

Baltimore Manufacturers Record:
Knoxville, Tenn, the rising city of
that State, has hit upon a good plan
for advertising itself, and has organi-
zed a committee of leading citizens
known as the "Board of Enter
prise The secretary Of the
board, Col. G. w. Charlton, an
swers all inquiries from capitalists
and would-be investors, regarding
the advantages for investment offered
by Knoxville. Pamphlets giving an
interesting resume of the natural re-
sources of the region, and much valu-
able information, are mailed to all
applicants. Knoxville will double
its population in the next three years
if the present influx of settlers con-
tinues.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
Better than She Expected

Your letter received. In reply
am happy to say that Parker's Hair
Balsam did much more for me than
YOU said it would, or than expected.
My hair has not only Stopped falling
out, but the bald spots are all covered
and all my hair has grown thicker,
softer and more lively than it was be-
fore my sickness a year ago. Thank
you againan again" Extract from
letters of Mr.. r. W. T., West Fifty,
third street, New York.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
BuckIen's Arnica Salye.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tons, and positively cures Piles, or nc
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded.
Price % cents per box. For sale by
j. B. Ritchey. may10-1y
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

On Russian River, CAL, ten years
ago, 100 acres of wheat land brought
an annual profit of $1,000 to the far
mer owning the tract. He cut it into
five-acre lots and sold it to hop and
fruit-growers. Last year there was a
profit of $4,000, one acre realizing
5000 fromplums. Eleven families are
now supported ON the 100 acres.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

The finder of the valuable tin mine
at Spearfsh, Dakota, bears the rare
and radiant name of John Johnston.
He is also editor and prorietor Of the
Dakota Register. His editorial ex-
perience peculiarly fitted him for
the privations of a mining camp, and
his training as the owner of country
weekly, in running down cart-wheel
dollars and delinquent subscribers,
enabled him to locate the "tin." He
has just sold quarter interest in the
mine for 100000.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

A Man passing through a gateway
in the dark ran against a post. 81
wish that post was in the lower re-
gionsw was his angry remark.
"Better wish it somewhere else, "
remarkeda by-stander, "you might
run against it again."
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
His Loss was Her Gain.

"Well madam" said a fashionable
physician to wealthy lady patient,
IF you don't like my prescriptions,
perhaps you had better try Parker's
Tonic, or some other quack stuff.
"You don't mean it Doctor" she an.
swered, "but your advice may be good
for all that. Sometimes what you call
'quack stuff is the best and most scien-
tifc medicine, after all" She got Il
bottle of Parker's Tonic and it cured
her Of neuralgia arising from disorder
ed stomach and nerves. She told hel
friends, and now they all keep doctor
at home IN the form.of Parker's Tonic
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

The wild mustard in South Califor-
mia is like that spoken of in the New
Testament, in the which the birds OF
the air may rest. Coming up out OF
the earth, so slender a stem that
dozens can find a starting point in an
inch, it darts up slender, straight
shoot, five, ten, twenty feet, with
hundreds of fine, feathery branches,
locking and interlocking with all the
hundreds around it, till it is an mex
tricable network like lace. Then il
bursts into yellow bloom still finer
more feathery, and lace-like. Al
times it looks like gold dust. With
a clear blue sky behind it, as it is
often seen, it looks like a COLDER
snow storm.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07

Let your religion be seen. Lamps
do not talk but they shine. A light
house sounds no drum, it beats no
gong; yet far over the waters its
friendly light is seen by the mariner.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1885-03-07
A Husbands Greatest Blessing

Is strong, healthful, vigorous wife
with clear, handsome complexion.
These can all be acquired by using
Dr. Harter's Iron Tonic.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-10-28
Good Connection.

CINCINNATI, Oct. Eli. Colbrap,
general freight and passenger agent of
the Cincinnati, New Orleans Il Texas
Pacific railroad, to-day received dis
patch from ViclIsburg, annouuclng that
the inclinced plane at that point is COM
plotted ard ready Tor business. This
IL work which come cts
the Nlcksburg Il Meridian and the
Vioksburg, Shreveport & Pacific
divisions Of the Queen IL Crescent
system, Ivy transferring passengers
and freight across tho Mississippi
without change OF cars. The
last named division connects with
tho Texas IL Pacific svslem.
II hss beDn work OF great difficulty,
hut it's completion ~ Of vast import
snCe 10 the travel end traffic o. that
end snd connecting lines. The first
transfer of loaded cara and switch On
glue for the Delta side was made this
afternoon, and everything found 10 be
working perfectly.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-10-28

HEREAFTER the reading public and
patrons Of THE HERALD generally
may look for this paper everywhere
on the frat mail or express train.
Schedules between here aud Fort
Worth have often disarrsnged mails
north, west and south, but the new
train west from Dallas to Colorado
City, leaving Dallas at an early hour,
will correct these regretful mishsps,
and give Thu HERALD to all at as
early an hour as train or mail service
can reach the point of subscription,
We have made additional arrange.
ments for thorough estate special''
service, sside from our very general
and exhaustive press report. With
therefore, a quicker means Of roaching
subscribers, moro extensive news
report, both general and special, pref
tier typo and finer press-work, Thu
HERALD proposes to demand attention
and patronage from the people O
Texas as tho best newspaper in tin
6outhwest. Now, the early morning
train from Dallas enables us, at For
Worth, to catch all trains, and max,
al early connections on the For
Worth & Denver, or the Mis-
souri, Pacific, north, or the Cult
Colorado u Santa Fe, south, tina
the Subscribers and readers Of TIL
HERALD shall be promptly aervst
with their paper. Special agents an(
reporters of THE HERALD will be pu
on all trains, both to secure the faith
full delivery and distribution of tn,
paper, and attend to the collection an(
transmission of every possible item o
news along the routes.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-10-28
FOREIGN NEWS.
Bulgaria.
WHO INsrIGATED THE UNION OF Bull
GARIA AND RoUMELIA.

WHO INsrIeATKD THE UNION OF Bull
CARA AND RoUMELIA.
ST.. PETERSBURG, Oct. 2.-The Nav
orrmet published an interview which
Its correspondent at Philippopolis
had with Karavaloff,the Bulgarian pre-
mier. Karavsloff denied that Bulga-
ria had any agreement with England
or Austria before the ROumeliau con
ference respecting the union of Bull
garia and Roumelia, but saws they
acted on their own responsibility in
bringing about the union.
"If there were apv instigators In The
matter" said the Bulgarian premier,
UT was Russia, whose consul general at
Philippopolis, M. Sarckin, first egitated
the union and helped to start TIE news
paper at Philippopolis, devoted to the
cause of the union, WITH
Bulgarian money. When l entered
the ministry, believing the game dan.
gerous, l stopped the subsidy of the
Bulgarian government tc the newspa-
per, and also forbade the meetings OF
tho unionists in Bulgaria.
Mr.. Ksrsvaloff affirmed the state
,nent that Prince Alexander hGd noti-
fed Russia of tho intention of Rou-
melln to unite with Bulgaria, and that
Roumelia was willing to continue un-
der Turkish suaerainty, but would not
cede an inch OF territory. In conclu
sion, tho Bulgarian premier said:
"if Turkey declares war, we alone
are able to raise Macedonia in three
days. Tho European war Is none o.
our business, aud we are not alarmed
a. tbe armament of Greece, as hel
army 10 far from being terrible"
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-10-28
The Growing Intorost..

CHICAGO, Dot. 27,-Keenon Il Han.
onck, stock yard iirm, just completed
the collection ond classification OF i'm.
portsnt statistics relating tc
the cattle, corn and hog orops OF
the States OF Illinois, Iowa, Missouri
Kansas, Nebraska, Wisconsin, md
Minnesota. They snt out some 4 oO(
circulars to people who were practl.
cally Interested, and received answers
from at least so per cent, of them. The
principal questions were:
Q.-Are there more or less hogs A.
your vicinity than Lust year?
A.-Four hundroi aud flfty.nine
more; 968, less; 375, the same,
Q.-Is there any hog choleraY
A Nine hundred and twelve; yos
S0l-no.
Q-Ifso ia there more or less tina,
lGst year.
A,-E,gbthundred aud twonty-oleht
more; 30, less; 123, tho eamo.
Q.-When will tho bulk or tho hop,
he marketed?
Alive hundred aud thirty.sever
In Nov. m nor, $50 In December,
q When hogs arc ready for marl,e,
u prices should be low, viii many hol,
for higher prices?
no; 1,07l, veg. e"'
q Arc there moro mr. log. catt,o
helng ted than lest yeaf9
A-Four hundred aud fortv.four
moro; 81, less; Az, same.
.Q.-Is the crop of corn greateror lea,
than last yeRf2
A-One thousand aud afsy.threo
greater; 800. less; $40, same, '''
Q-Is corn selling gt bipbe,
or lower Fl CURES than last year?
A.-Ona hundred aud ninetV.sxs
higher, ssS lower, t1o the came,
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-10-28
SOUTHERN BONDS.
SENSE REPLACING PREJUDICE.
Northern Capitalists Recognizing the
Promising Future OF the south are
Buying up the Better Glass of
Southern Bonds and Seeu-
rifles - Foreigners.

NEW YORK, Oct. 2I-[Special. lit
l. understood that the better classes of
Southern bonds and securities are
quietly being paid up by parties In the
North, and it is ssid, also, by agents OF
foreign capitalists. Heretofore the
fact that some OF these States had re-
pudisted their obligations, served to
held investors aloot from anything
with which they were or had been con-
nected, but better feeling Is grow
ing, and there Is disposition to hands
securities now, which q year ago the
same parties would not touch. This is
due mainly to the belief that the day
Of reputation has passed, and as a
recognition Of the promising future OF
the Southern and Soushw estern States,
accompanied by increased interest
This Is seen In effects now being made
to secure Eastern and Northern cspl.
talists for the revival OF the dressed
meat business in Texas, and the recent
contract with an English syndicate
may prove to be the right step in thu
revival.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-10-28
LArERArLsoAn NEWS.
Notes from H.srns.


HEAENS, 0c'. 27.-[SpseiaI. Gap.
tain A. Faulkner, ths popular aud fine-
looking general passenger agent of
the Houston It Texas Central railroad,
passed down the road yesterday on
his way 20 Houston Tho espssiu
don't seam 20 iosa any flesh or sleep
on account OF this commission bust
ness.
Mr.. Lssker, conductor, in addition
TO being posted in the railroad busi-
ness, is also thoroughly versed in the
raising of Jersey cattle.
The Houston Il Texas Central and
International & Great Northern yards
nave been alive with freight trains for
several DAYS mast.
Mr.. M. NJ. Lsepsr, the youthful con-
ductor on the Houston 4 Texas Cen.
trail railroad, ia out sgain after q tum--
bio with the dengue.
NJ. CUlpepper is running Mr.. c, III,
Brews;er's train, aud more efficient
and popular conductor never hal
load call aboard"
Mr.. John Telfsir osme down on MIR.
Tom Esston's run. John don't deny
the rumor about his intended marriage
but seems pleased at the mere men,
ton of il.
Mr.. w. McCrab, who ia general pas
senger rustler and express agent OF
the Waxshachie Tap railroad, csms in
to day on his way to Palestine. VII.
liam has been keeping bachelors hall
for several weeks, and SAYS he Is go
ing to bring home the madame aud
break up housekeeping.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1885-10-28

THE Fort Worth Gazette Is tee
ataunch Southern paper and too firm
u friend to Texesto remain in the op.
position on this silver coinage ques.
ton. Ifthose Eastern capitalists can
stop the further coinage OF silver the
will also be powerful enough to got
Congress TO redeem aud cancel the
s3id,00O,O00 of outstanding legal tender
(greonback) notes. What does this
contraction mean? 1t means that thoy
and their friends can and will get uE
all sorts Of corners, with all the money
In their possession, ON corn or cotton
on wheat, on meats, etc., otc. Our
iarmsrs, our merchants, will be thu.
feeced at tho pleasure of the money
holders and the country kept demon.
slized by every species of speculation