The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1885-11-14

1Ou II euOu uhNV blONeI uluIlbT anu over y
thing else over OH the the floor" remark
I'd Mrs Wilson quietly.
Mr.. Wilson turned lurious!y around,
and seeing an amused smile on his wife's
face, bounded to his feet.
"Iou-you make fun OF me, do you? ?"
he BputteIed excitedly; you laugh and
ridiCule what l do! declare there is no
nae trying TO live any longer. There, that
c9nfouaded boy has done me 6fty dollars
worth Of damage, aud then came in here
only to find everything going to ruin !!
There's no usetry!ng 10 stand 1t any longer!
m 20 right down stars and shot myself,
l declare will"
Now 1t happened that Mrs. Wilson had
heard this threat number Of times be-
fore, and know just how much il was
%ott4 and scarcely perceptibie smile
lifted over her lips, while . roguish twin
xIe lurked in the corner OF her eye, as she
asked:
do you really mean II, my dear.
"Yes, | dol" grOWled her dear" pro.
voked ~ her co0luess, "untess you'll have
the dinner on the tsble=in less than five
minutes"
II should he so happy to oblige you, If
It was possible, my dear" returnet Mrs
Wilson, eomposuGIy, but, unfortunately,
it is impossible Just loT."
Then III do IL I--by Jove ! will u ex-
claimed her irate lord, as he strobe over 10
corner OF the room, and took up small
nuskes that stood M against the wall 81
don't mean to stand this kind Of thing
any loagerl" =. -, s.,- =, -, ~.
Wilson stretched cut pn0 pretty white
hand, but without noticing 1t, otherwise
than By grow], the highly abused Mr..
Wilson stamped Wrathfuliy down the
cellar.
"He'lI be up In five minutss," said Mrs
Wilson 10 herself, knowing that whatever
might be the present policy OF her lord
and master, he wouldn't be IN sGCh hur-
~ to end his earthly career by the tine
be reached the bottom Of the cellar steps,
and, therefore, feeling no anxiety on his
account. ~ guess III improve the time
by setting the table, and that will put him
in n somewhat better hImor, ! hope"
She put away her sewing and set gb?Ut
the work very compOsedly, and had got
the table q out half set, when flom the
CELLAR she heard the report OF a gun. For
moment she started nervouSly and laid
her hapd on the door OI the CELLAR then
an assuring smile came to her face, and
She proceeded with her occupation AZ II
nothing had happened.
Meanwhile lot Us follow Mr.. Wilson for
few moments and see how he succeeded
in hia heroic enterprise.
He pitched angrily down cellar, as we
have said, with his gun in his hand, htsi.
tatlug on each step, and expecting every
moment to hear his wife'a voice calling
him back. His plan did not work, how
ever, rs well as he had expected, and as
no sound reached his ears he became still
more enraged, and as soon as be reached
the bottom Of the stairs, having, as Mrs.
Wilao shrewdy supposed, got out OF all
notion DISCRIMINATING his own earthly ex-
istenCe, he blAZed away wTatbtully into
the first thing which presented itself, and
which happened TO be the pork barrel.
"ThNt'll fetch her down, ! guess" he
chnCkled triumphantly, and he got ready
u throw himeeif down and appear very
seriouslyiDjured when she should come to
see what the matter was; but, 10 his un-
paralleled establishment, no attention
secned 10 be taken OF the ominous sound.
lie sat for about five minutes, impati-
emily kicking al the barre land waiting tor
Jane to come down and see what was the
matter with him, when a saVory odor
aoated from gboveto. hisolfactoIies. a mo-
meut longer he Sat, and then, as his
temper returned, duly reinforced by this
shameful neglect, he started TO bis feet,
exciaimiug:
~ believe in my heart that instead Of
Dining over my loss, IA an ordinary wo-
man would do, she's eating all tho dinner
IN, and them vegetables all OF my own
raising, too! II smells mighty good ZIP
there, anyhow, and I'll be dummed II l
amt mOst eternslly hungry! III 20 right
up and put a stop to such heartless pro"
csedings, quick meter; although declare
begin 10 icel kinder foolish"
Daring this interval, Mira. Wilson had
finished setdDg tho table, and, the dinner
being done, was all dished up and smok-
ing upon IL; and as nearly ten MINUTES
had elapsed, and her husband had not
vet made bis appearance, she began to
leel little uneasy about him.
She was just debating as to whether che
should 90 DOWN at once and see whether
anything had happened or wait few min
utes longer, when q step upon the stairs
set all her fears at rest and made roSuish
smile dimple her cheek, and the next mo.
fment the cellar door was kicked energet-
Iically open and an irate visage presented
itself. while stentorian voice demanded
"What kind ofieelings have you women
folks got, should like to know! Why on
earth didn't you come down and see
whether was alive or not? Amt you
got any curiosity shout your"
"Why, my dear, is that you2 exclaim.
ed Mrs. Wilson, giving little start and
scream, and putting on look OF surprise:
81 was Just congratulating myself that you
had shown so much resolution for once,
and thinking how much the Housekeeping
expenses would be diminished You d.
eat such dreadful amount, you knowI
swell, neverP exclaimed the as
founded Mr.. Wilson, stopping rightshorl
in the middle OF the floor, with ouch q
comical mixture Of wonder, amusement
and incrednlity expressed upon his coun'
tenance, that It was entirely too much FOL
bis wiie's gravity. and throwing hen oil
into chair, she laughed until the team
ran down her cheeks.
"Here, wait q moment" she iuterposed
as her husband, after staring at her ii
speechless astoniBhment for q few mo
men,s, was about TO take his seat at the
table, that set forth such tempting In
vitatton; tell me what you have de
stroyed down in the cellar. ] don't know
thatI can afford To lot you have any din
~ only knocked hole into that con
founded pork barrel" growled Mr.. VII
-. LI,nr, M Ahn lnhinrnnnnnaa Of hi