Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1885-03-29
FUN All WEDDINGS.
Grotesque Happenings and Ridiculous
Mistakes.

Grotesque Happenings and Ridiculous
Mistakes.
eyes" said Boston clergyman, more
ludicrous incidents and queer mistakes hap
pen in connection with weddings or mar
riages than | ever noticed in connection
with any of my other work. There are times
when have difficulty in keeping my coun-
tenance straight,and of course you wouldn't
ike to be laughed at by the minister just as
he was about to join you solemnly IN we'd
lock with the lady you loved. The most try
ing time ever had was when l was young IN
the ministry, and when had not such control
over my keen sense of the ludiCrous asl have
since acquired. was located at Houlton,
| Ne. One day a couple drove over from
Woodstock, n. B., and when they arrived
in the village began inquiring for the min
ister Some OF the mischief loving boys
got hold of them, and took them down to
he market, where they were placed on ex-
hibition and piled with all sorts of ridicu.
lous questions. 10 the great amusement OF
the crowd without embarrassment to them
selves, for they were too green to appre-
ciate the Joke. Finally, aftar everybody
had had his ell OF fun, the bride and groom
wee escorted to my house by a few OF
the most mist hievous OF the crowd. 1t was
all could do TO keep from roaring when they
entered, but felt that | must maintain my
dignity, not only for the sake OF the bride
and groom, but because some OF the young
men present were members of my congre.
CATION, and if yielded 10 my feelings them
| might have difficulty in restraining my
self when | faced them from the pulpit
| The woman was the tallest, most awkward
and most fascinating female | ever saw.
She was six feet and two inches high, and
dressed in all the bright-colored toggery she
could get on without regard to har-
mony or style of make. But one ardcle
struck me so forcibly, and was thrust on
my attention so prominently, that / forget
ali the other details She had hand which
came near answering the description, as
large as goldfish and these were enclosed
in a pair of thick yarn mittens, which made
every finger look as big as potato. These
gloves we're marvel. They were striped,
red and white the stripes running length
wise the finger, while on the back of each
hand she had worked, in coarse yarn, what
she thought was some sort of flower, into
which she had wrought every improbable
color that grotesque Imagination could
picture. The man was
Diminutive Half-Breed
Indian and French, and he had no vest nor
cellar on, and his pants were held up BY q
Iumberman's leather belt, fastened with an
old, rusty iron buckle. i managed to get
through the ceremony, however, and relieve
my feelings after they had gone.
al remember bashful fellow who came
10 my house with his girl to get married
lie was so basbful that pittied him. He
was absolutely overwhelmed-paralyzed, !
ought to say He came into the parlor with
his hat on and did not remove it once de-
spite all the hints that his bride and | gave
him. said all the assuring things coul3
and tried to engage him and his lady in
convt rsation but he was so abashed that he
could neither answer nor move. limited
that be did not understand. Finally, in de-
spair, l said quietly and privately to the
bride; If you will take your place beside
The groom ! will marry you, and when she
approached him It seemed absolutely to
stsrtle him with a new fright.
| Zone Young man, who came on the same
errand as struck with curiosity the mo.
ment he entered the hluse He absolutely
ignored his BRIDE, while he wandered about
the parlor, scrutinizing in wondering way
e,ery picture, every book, ornament and
piece Of furniture in TIE room. The bride
sat and blushed, while tried to call his at.
tention to the business of the moment, but
he kept or, and it ves more than fifteen
minutes before cou d get the two corralled
near enough to marry them.
81 married queer couple once, short
time before | came to Boston. The man
bad Just entered upon his protession-which
we will call that of physician-and had
determined on his place of settlement. The
young lady, bright, intelligent, well-edu-
Gated girl, who knew the ways of society,
had made up her mind that she would
marry doctor, and finally she had brought
matters round in a quiet womsnly way to
the point of his asking for her hand and
heart, and Of course she yield&. The &C
quaintance had been sstonishingly brief.
They were hardly acquainted when l was
summoned to marry them. He was very
skillful and devoted to his profession, which
he bad mastered well for q young man in
theory and practice. But he knew less of
the ways Of the world and the customs OF
social and domestic life than any other man
I ever met. He was on the point Of start
ing for his new home the very next day after
the marriage, and with the utmost uncon-
Germ regarding the proprieties of the occa-
sion, had packed up all his apparel ready
for the journey. He was stopping at the
house Of friend, who, at the last moment,
late in the afternoon, discovered that the
bridegroom did not have change Of linen
to dress with. Hurried consultations were
had, and his hostess, with woman's readiness
for emergencies, took the measure Of bis
collar and waist, went down Just as the
stores were about to close and purchased
the desired articles, which the bridegroom
accepted with the utmost equsninitY and & 4
il the articles were not Of much consequence
anyway. They went away, and in few
days the bride wrote letter to one Of her
friends, in which she remarked with charm
ing uslvette. We had good, pleasant jour.
ney, and found my husband TO be quite
entertaining. think shall ike him first,
rate when get acquainted with him.
''The License Question
often causes embarrassment 10 couples