The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-02-13
HONORING PARENTS
Not So Generally Observed In the present
rs 1t should BE.


rs 1t should Be.
''Honor thy father and thy mother, "
is the Divine command. Among orr
entail nations this has been the rule. 1t
is not. however, so generally observed
in our day as it should be. The reason
for this is hard to give. We arr not a
reverent people. Things that pertain to
the Divine are regarded with indiffer-
ence, or levity. Worship is not consid-
cred as having claim on our rev.
erence. Among the reasons given is
the fact that we are familiar with events
of such startling magnitude that the
sense of reverence is dulled, or obliter.
ated. However this may be, the fact
remains that it is not at all general in
our people. But other reasons exist for
its lack toward parents. To command
respect we must deserve it. And where
parents fail to manifest the traits of
character which should command re-
spect, they can not complain if they fail
to receive it. And the failure to in.
culcate respect also operates the same
way.
The first element in this is to secure
obedience. This should be required
from the very first. As soon as child
is old enough to understand. the lesson
of obedience should be taught. But
this may be done in way that inspires
fear and repulsion rather than conf.
dence and love. 1t is not essential to
good government that severity and
harshness shall be Employed; nor is il
required that every movement of a
child shall be subject to command. 1t
is nice thing to know just how far au-
thority should extend and where it
should stop. Some children are gov
erned too much. They are made irri-
table and dependent by constant and
useless orders. Rules to be observed
may be laid down and enforced
in a gentle, firm way, until their re-
quirements are woven into the habits of
life. In such cases the parents are the
balance-wheel that simply regulates the
family. without confusion or noise. Yet
such homes. thus regulated, are the
most congenial we have. There is no
lack of discipline, but it is enforced
rather by qualities of character than by
commands, and so brings respect rather
than fear.
Confidence and love are quite as es-
sential as obedience. And to command
both these requires well-balanced
character. There are parents who mani
fest their love for children BY gratifying
every wish and abjuring all authority.
They are surprised, in time, that their
children neither heed nor respect them.
The fault is their own. TIE very fact
that they exercised no controlling in
fluence led to feeling of contempt
There was no authority to respect, and
no qualities that especially commanded
confidence. A firm, kind hand is felt
and appreciated by children. They are
keen readers OF human nature, and
know when they are firmly or weakly
governed. Such commands as are
given should be so manifestly just as to
have the approval of their judgments.
They know when they are wrongly pun
ished. and understand when harsh re-
Dukes are the mere outgrowth of the
parents irritation and not of the child s
wrong. Confidence and love can be
inspired by sympathetic firmness bet
teT tHau w ucrc iuuulSeuCc- "A
father once said to his son. who deserved
punishment, my son, if it will better
impress you with the wrong you have
done. will expose myself to the pun
ishment that belongs to YOU" The lad
felt the rebuke and begged to be pun
ished. and reformed. Respect for par
ents is sentiment that must be estab-
lished in the deepest and best sense Of
the child. 1t is not something that can
be assumed. Nor can it be grated on
the mere outer life. 1t must be estab.
lished in the heart Hence the parent
should always manifest to the child
qualities deserving of respect. There
are cases where children have reyer-
eaced parents who were dissolute.
But in such cases there were strong
redeeming qualities which the child
understood. As a rule, children who
are not absolutely and inherently
vicious appreciate all the better quail
ties of their parents. They only need
have this good tendency properly d.
rected to manifest traits of respect and
kindness that shall bless their parents