Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1885-06-26
TUE FlEND.

,ucature Whose Staying Qualities Are
I.,,ppreciated Except by Editors.
r,,orc is an ancient oriental legend
the effect that once upon Il time a
s,aest looking ~dromedary stuck his
load into the sanctum OF a daily news
inner and requested to be allowed to
Lance over the exchanges. The ac-
,,m~modating and gentlemanly editor
aid: Certainly, with pleasure" and
[.hs result was that in a short tme the
l1~omcdary was polishing the sacred
,~sdi,orial tripod and had both hoofs on
,bc table, going through the exchanges.
When the editor intimated that he felt
or,mped, the dromedary replied,
GENEROUSLY, that perhaps the editor
.,ou]d feel more untrammeled if he
we're on the outside.
The moral of this simple little legend
i that the proper time to sit down on
HE exchange tiend is at the opening of
the campaign, Or else he will be as
hard to remove from position as a
i..mlv established mother-in-law.
1t is a fact that nobody outside of a
newspaper Office can understand or APP
~nreciate the STAYING qualities of an ex-
change tiend. Those who begin the
performance with an overture to the
effect that they know newspaper men
1~c always busy, hence they will stay
but Il moment, are the ones that re-
,emble a French clock, they never
20. The exchange tiend is always Il
brilliant conversationalist. Different
editors have different campaign plans.
some editors hang up big signs in
front of their desks. such as: go Hire
= Hall and Tell Us All About It."
head and the legend underneath: This
Man Was Talked to DEATH" An ex-
change ticnd will read over these adj
monitions, laugh and say: you have
hit en- Off to IT"
If the editor has only one chair, the
tiend will sit down on the EDITORS desk,
or even on the editor himself.
Other people dread the power of the
press. Not so the exchange fiend. He
has the audacity of the flea that takes
his breakfast OF the lion's lip. He never
realizes his danger.
There was once Il Texas newspaper
man who ran short of material to write
up and who thought it would be a joke
to encourage an exchange tiend. Just
10 see how far he would 90, and then
write it up. So when the exchange
tiend walked in, the editor did not go,
A. usual, and get ''Webster's Una
Dridgcd," and impressively lay it on
the exchanges along with four or five
paper weights. to keep the papers from
blowing away by the breeze that was
not blowing. On the contrary. he told
the tiend to heip himself. The tiend
began to look sassy right Oft. You
could see his cheek harden. He re-
moved his hat, coat. vest, cravat and
boots, as if he was going in swimming.
Then he Went to the editorial coat
that was hanging on the rack and
hunted for a cigar. In dong SO he
came across several letters and postal
cards. He was considerable enough to
read them, holding the borrowed cigar
in his mouth all the time. 1t was evil
dent that the exchange tiend did not
require much encouragement, so the
editor determined to give him q little
sarcasm.
If there is anything you want that
YOU don't see, just ask for it," said the
editor.
The fiend took a puff of the cigarand
said:
''Cussed poor cigar. Where did they
give them to YOU? l want to steer
clear Of that place. BY the way, there
ere some New York papers that I want
you to get. Have 'em put on your e.
change list. III give you q list of the
papers want
The tiend was perfectly serious; so
was the editor, who rallied and re-
marked with a sheer:
Don't You want me to turn over
the Post-oiiice key to you? Perhaps
YOU would like to open the money-order
letters:?"
You do need a business manager,
out fancy you would hardly be able
to pay me my price to take hold OF
your business department."
Ii became still more evident that this
lend did not require much more en-
eouragement to feel perfectly at ease.
Once more the editors . face was
~reathed in scorn, as he said:
81 am going to have a telephone put
up between THIS Office and your resi-
dence, so you will be able to spend some
OF Your time athome.'
This is good enough for me right
acre. if you will fill u side basket, and
have some more pegs to hang clothes
- replied the demon, tearing the
wrappers off the exchanges.
The amusing feature OF this n w
sation is that it actually took place. 1t
Is Il popularity of the newspaper bore
mat he is perfectly honest in believing
mat he is the only visitor to the office
who is not a bore. hence any hint you
may give him to clear out is taken as
the spirit of banter, as if it were pleas
antlv and not seriously meant for him
al all.-A{er SWeet, IN arka1saW Irav-
elcr.