davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06
PITH AND POINT.

The bee can draw twenty times its
own weight. So can the porous plas.
fer.
When q mans mind RECEIVERS from
a state of confusion, he doesn't neces-
sarily die, but he ends his daze.-1erGs
SJtings.
1T is said that the Prince of Wales
never carries purse. Our resemblance
to his royal highness has often been re-
marked.-St. Paul Herald.
"A woman pointed an old pistol at
tramp and blazed away until she shot
a calf worth $35. The tramp is tickled
to think she didn't aim at the calf
Exchange.
An Irishman, hearing of a friend
who had a stone coffin made for Hmm
self, exclaimed: Faith. that's good
Sure an stone coffin nd last man
lifetime"'-M. Y. Independent.
"A female teacher in public school
was amazed the other day by seeing
perfect forest of juvenile hands fly uE
in the air and shake and gesticulate
wildly. what do you want?" queried
the puzzled instructor. Chorus: ''Yel
hair fallin' of. - Chicago Tribune.
Two Troy men have invented
machine that will make 1905 0G
matches an hour. The thing should bt
in great demand at the fashionable
watering-places this summer. 1t is
Just what mothers and marriageablt
daughters have been looking for.-1ros
Times.
my SON" said fond father t.
his little son whom he had been pun.
ish;ng, by the use of a rod for the
first time; my son, l hope this has
taught you a good lesson" eyes,
pa" the little fellow sobbingly replied.
Sits taught me that it's better to give
than to receive. Life.
-FacetIous Party (the local LAWYER
who likes to have joke with his
clienD-'.I say, Pat suppose the Devil
were suddenly to appear now, which
of us would he take first, dye think?"
Pat-..Me, of course; for sure he knows
he can have your honor at any time,
bad luck to him. "-Boston Post.
Her head was pillowed on his
breast, and looking up in a shy way
she said: '.Do you know, dear George.
that you mean dear James.
Think he interrupted. smiling fondly
at her mistake. why, yes, to be
sure. How stupid l am! L was think
ing this is Wednesday evening.-M. Y
San.
20, say, maj exclaimed bright
little girl at the Hoffman House while
at dinner, hasn't that man over there
got awful big ears?'' FLUSH, child!
the gentleman m ght hear you.' eau
toned the mother. well, ma," re-
torted the precocious youngster, ''if
he couldn't hear me with those ears he
ought to haul 'em down. IN. T. Jour-
nal
An old country gentleman return.
ing home rather late, discovered
yokel with lantern under his Kitchen
window, who, when asked his business
there, stated he had only come court
ing. Come what?" said the irate
gentleman. "a counting. sir. Use
counting Mary "It's lie! What
do you want a lantern for? l never
used one when was young man."
mo, sir?" was the yokel's reply; 81
didn't think yer 'ad Judging by the
missis '-Arq07e0att.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06
VS.. But we can help each otner

my days. But we can help each other
all the same"
In after years when Robert became
the pastor of large, struggling, work,
ING church, Jack, successful engineer
was his right hand in every enterprise
for good. And the two often laughed
as they recalled the days spent behind
the old barn.
1--we never thought life had diff
Guilty to overcome which appeared so
terrible as long division" Robert said
'.But for your help in just the right
time, Jack, think should have given
up trying to get an education. Our old
schoolmaster made me believe it was
useless for me to try to learn anything,
because did not take to figures Yes,
Jack, if the Lord blesses me as an in
strument of good. how much of it will
be your work."
Help each other, boys. Hold out
strong, willing hands to the weak and
stumbling, and with CHEEKY heart and
voice encourage them. Keep them
side by side with you in the battle OF
life, and then rejoicingly mark how
their successes will shed light on all
your pathway, which will shine more
and more unto the perfect day.-M T.
Observer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06
RETROSPECTIVE,
The Good Work Accomplished by the Ad
ministratiOn.

The Good Work Accomplished by the Ad-
ministration.
The Democratic Administration is
now over four months in office, and it
has already accomplished vast amount
of work, not the least being the clear
ing away the debris of disagreement
and corruption left in all the depart
ments by its predecessor. The express
sion, cleansing the Augean stables.'
which was so frequently heard during
the Presidential canvass, has proved to
be something more than mere cam
paign cry. The STABLES" were found
to be fouler than even the most imagi-
native Democratic orator pictured to
his hearers, and the task of cleansing
them was one that would have daunted
less resolute men than those President
Cleveland selected for his Cabinet.
They found the Government so per-
meated with evidences of swindling and
corruption, that it seemed hopeless
task to attempt to reform it without ap-
plying heroic remedies. Nevertheless,
the President and his Cabinet did not
hesitate a moment, but applied them
selves to their great work of reform
with astonishing vigor and unremitting
zeal. For man who was contemptuous-
ly spoken of by the Republicans, as
lacking in experience and incapable of
conducting the affairs of such vast
Government, President Cleveland has
displayed marvellous ability, super
human energy and an insight into
human character and affairs of state
which seems almost incredible.
He found in Washington Republic
an ring. consolidated by years fsmis-
government, and apparently immova-
Bile. The spoilsmen had become so
bold by long continued immunity that
they stoutly resisted the application OF
reform. A complicated system OF red
tape and complicated bookkeeping
served to hide corruption and disrep-
utable practices. This system was
swept away at once from the depart
ments and simpler and honester meth
dds substituted. Fraud which had
been so long concealed was unearthed,
and every office underwent thorough
process of disinfection. The pension
frauds, which were eating away the
very vitals of the Government. were re-
moved from the rolls by General Black
and the bureau made what it was in
tended to be. for the benefit of those
who risked their lives for their coun-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06

Yachting Festivities.

BAR HARBoR. Me-, July 31.-Jay Gould
says that he is having SO pleasant time
that he will remain longer than he an
ticipated. The yacht Atalanta was the
scene Of festivities yesterday afternoon,
from seventy to one hundred of the most
distinguished guests in the place being
on board. The guests comprised three
parties-one, that of Mrs. Isaac Howe,
of New York; the second that of Alfred
Conkling, of New York, and the third
was arranged for Mrs. Beach, of Wash
inston, by Alsop Leffingwell. All were
delighted with their reception.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06
THE REBELLION.
immensely of the Work of Collecting I'll
Records of the Late War.

immensely of the Work of Collecting tn.
Records of the Late War.
The publication of the official records
of the war of the Rebellion is steadily
going on, and the nineteenth volume
has just been issued. When completed
it is expected that the number of vol
umes will have reached eis hty, and
these will comprise the full official rec
ords of the Confederate and I'm on
Armies during the late war. 1t is not
easy to comprehend the immensely of
the work which the publication of
these records entails. An average of
thirty men are kept busy copying man.
uscript, reading proof, and indexing
from one years end to the other, and
at the present rate it is expected that
they will publish five or SIX volumes
year. The work is done in fine
old mansion west of the White
House, which has been used
by the Government tor years,
and which is now wholly devoted to
this work. The files of papers are
brought here from the War Department
in wheel-barrows and carefully searched
and the matter needed copied by PEN
1t takes about a peck OF manuscript to
make one volume of the official record.
Each volume contains on an average
1000 pages of pr nted matter or about
5000 pages of closely written foolscap.
An ordinary foolscap page of the rec
ord eats up about 200 words. so that
volume would contain 60O,0 900 words.
And the whole publ cation will contain
the immense amount of $4,000 600
words. Estimat ng each foolscap page
as covering one and one-half square
feet of space-not q large estimate,
think-the manuscript used to complete
this history will cover $50. Coz square
feet of space if it were la d out with the
edges of its sheets touch NO one another
in close patchwork. And as an acre is
less than Al 900 square feet. it would
cover more than eight acres of ground,
and leave paper to spare.
The work on the record in regard to
accuracy is wonderfully complete.
Every name, whether that of private
soldier or Maior-General. must be
spelled right and its proper initials
given. A single name often consumes
days of research and is found at the
end to be far different from the one it
was originally supposed to be- The
jndexing is very complete and full OF
labor. The card system is used in the
work, and the third part of volume
thirteen took alone II, 1916 index cards.
The work of printing the record is
done by the Government Printing
Office, and the men in charge of pre-
pairing the manuscript tell me there
is another volume which should have
been out before this. This record OF
the rebellion embraces both the official
papers of the North and of the South,
of the Union and Confederate armies.
1t will, when it is completed, disclose
many unknown facts of history, and
will form the most valuable histori-
cal reference book that has ever been
published about any war or any period.
Washington Cor. Cleveland Leader
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06
DIVIDING WITH GRANDPA.
What Little Girl Did for Her Baiu
Headed Grandfather.

What Little Girl Did for Her Bai"-
Headed Grandfather.
Lulie was as bonny little lassie as
ever wore blue eyes and shiny curls
and white dress, with RULES and
sash.
In the summer she went to see her
grandfather. She had been there be-
fore, but it was year ago, and she
didn't remember anything about it, ex-
cept that they had s9uatty dog, which
sat up and said: "Wough!'' when he
wanted something to eat. And a cat
that scratched her when she patted it.
And that the bedrooms smelled of dried
rose leaves. And that grandfather al
ways had nuts in his pockets, and
watch that snapped very loud.
For she was now only four years old,
and most people find it hard, you know,
to remember things that happened
whole quarter of their lives ago!
She was little afraid of grandfather
at first, but he was so kind and pleasant
that she was soon sitting on his knee.
playing with his long white beard. Then
she began to look very hard at his head.
She thought it looked very strange in
deed.
.Oh; poor ganpa! What's ee mat
ter wis GUS head? Where is all GUS
hair gomez"
''Why, Pussy" he said, laughing. II
have lived so long that my hair is all
worn out"
Lulie felt very much concerned about
it. She stood up on his lap, and
peeped over his head to see how far bis
forehead went back. 1t went back
very far indeed, and Lulie softly stroked
the few white hairs on his temple with
feeling that something ought to be
done about it.
Her own hair covered her head and
hung down in long curls. 1t seemed
to her that she had a great deal more
than her share.
'I'll div 'ou some o. mine, ganpa,"
she said very earnestly.
'.Will you? I'll take a curl now,
Them he said, and he took out his
penknife and cut off little curl which
he put in his pocket-book.
mo, no." said Lulie; ''Tll vide even
wis our
But mamma said, "Run away and
play now, dear" and grandpa slipped
some nuts in her pocket and set her
down.
But Lulie went very soberly up to her
mammals room Half an hour after
wards she came back with face all
smiles and dimples.
'.Here's ou's s'are, ganpa" she
cried, running up to him. Her short
dress was held up in both hands-full
of bright hair!
Everybody stared in dismay.
What woeful havoc mammals scissors
had played with the sunshiny curls!
On one side they waved as before,
but on the other they were unevenly
shipped off to the very crown of her
head.
Mamma looked as if she hardly knew
whether to laugh or cry But grandpa
gathered the darling, hair and all, into
his arms with such hug as she had
never felt before.
Lulie's curls have grown long again,
but I think they might grow down to
her feet before grandpa will ever forget
how she cut half of them off to cover
his dear old bald head.-Yomth's Com.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06
THE MOTMOT..
A Bird Which Constantly Seeks to I'm
prove Upon Nature.

A Bird Which Constantly Seeks to I'm
prove Upon Nature.
The most striking example Of abor-
tive effort or at least bizarre form of
decoration is found in the case of the
motmot, a South American bird, which
succeeds in paralleling some of the
most absurd of humanity's decorative
freaks, notably that one of some savage
tribes which consists of filing the teeth
to points.
The motmot is, by nature endowed
with more than an ordinary degree of
beauty. The prevailing color of its
plumage is green, the wings and tail
being tinged with q beautiful shade of
blue; sable tuft, edged with blue,
adorns its breast and blue-edged
black triangle surrounds the eve and
extends to the eGr.. In addition to this
and to long and graceful tail, it has
upon its head a crest which it can erect
at will
But, as if dissatisfied with natures
attempt to beautify it, the motmot es-
says an improvement. 1t selects the
two middle feathers of it's tail, those
two being usually the longest and most
conspicuous. as the objects of its deco
rative design. About an inch from the
tip of each feather it cuts away with its
serrated bill about an inch of the web
on each side of the shaft, thus giving
each feather the appearance of lawn
tennis bat Nor Is this done In a me-
chanical or instructive way, for some
times q too anxious motmot will BEGIN
too soon and before its tail has reached
its full growth, and will clip away ON
the wrong feathers. thus disfiaurina,
itself even in motmot estimation. In this
respect being not unlike the younr
ma2es OF the human family who. rather
than not shave at all, will sometimes
use the razor on that much of the hair
OF the head as wanders down in front
Of the ears.
1t was formerly supposed that the
motmot wore away the web nom its
tail feathers by constantly turning
around while sitting On its nest. and
when Waterton explained the real rea-
son for the condition of tho feathers he
was laughed at Recently. however,
captive birds have been seen TO per-
form the cutting operation.-L c.
Beard. "a Ra,per's Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06
His Opportunity.

NEW YORK, August There appears
to be but little chance of an agreement
between Michael E. Hirsch, of Point
Pleasant, O., the present owner of the
house in which General Grant was born,
and Mr.. James j. Coogan, who con-
ceiyed the idea of purchasing the old
house and presenting it to this city, to
be placed in one OF the parks. MIR.
Hirsch's latest price was $4,000; MIR.
Coocan, in reply offered SIS, 600 cash. No
answer has yet been received. 1t is evil
dent Mr.. Hirsch fully appreciates the
fact that there is only one house in winch
General Grant was born. As house,
$500 or $500 would buy the old home.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06
A MAN OF NO WEIGHT.
An Incident in English Railway Car
rage.

An Incident in an English Railway Car
riage.
There were seven of us in the COM
partment of an English railway carriage
when the train started from the station.
In one corner sat man. long legged,
tall and lean. At the next station three
more travellers entered. These filed
the compartment. Opposite the tall
man, a short, fat man took his seat.
wish to goodness you move your
knees" sa the fat man, petulantly.
Certainly" said the tall man, as he
proceeded to stick his feet under the
seat opposite.
Stop! stop!" yelled the fat man.
Didn't you see me put my bandbox
there? Do you want to smash it?''
Il didn't see you put it there" said
the other, quietly.
well, you ought to, Them grum-
bled the fat man. Long, awkward
giants that can't see ought not to
travel. Hate giants. at least, half
giants; regular old-fashioned giants,
ten feet high and five feet wide, were
all right. but they didn'twant to travel
by train"
The tall man looked at the speaker
mildly and sighed.
At the next station no one got out.
but Just as the train started one OF the
railway officials opened the carriage
door and pushed lady into the COM
partment The tall man Immediately
Stood up and gave the lady his seat.
just what 1 thought" said the fat
man Now you can't stand upright
People like you ought to be made into
two men. What's the use of giants
weak-hearted, knock-kneed. Bah!
Ever see a giant with the collie? Ho!
ho! Pantomines amt in it. saw one
once with the collie. Giant collie. I
'spose, outsize one. Twas at the sea-
side. He doubled himself over rail-
ing-feet touched ground on one SIDE,
head the other / was watching him.
hSpose he meant to break the collie in
two, and tackle one-half at time. Up
comes bobby-says he: Them your
clothes? Take 'em home; mustn' t
hang your wardrobe out here to
The tall man again gazed on the fat
man, with a sigh Then he put a deal
of h ;mself out of the window, leaning
with his elbows at the bottom of the
opening. ~
s.Ihat decidedly objectto cried the
fat man. hotly. ''Here you are, stop
ping up all ventilation and giving US
about half camel in the carriage, y
and he commenced to pound away at
the half camers hind legs. The other
half came in with a sigh: Il wish ]
could please you"
But YOU can't" said the fat man
testify, '.and you can't help it. You're
a nuisance in crowd, in a theater, in
a church, in fact. everywhere. And
vet you're only show, you know; nc
weight, solidity or substantially. Look
at me! It's us short, tough people that
do the work of the world. You've no
weight, sir; no weight
He says I've no weight'' murmured
the tall man, YEARLY; and he dropped
like waterspout. into the fat mans
lap.
There 'was a piercing shrek, {
muffied and smothered roar, and it on
" needed one glance at the fat. hope
less-looking countenance in the corner
to assure me that it's owner had foune
the long man carried a good deal o
weight with him when he sat dowI
| suddenly.-Cer.D Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06

An interesting estimate of the
amount. in weight, of one inch of rain
fall on one acre of ground is thus
given: An acre of ground contains g.
272, $40 square inches. Rain one inch
deep would give that many square
inches; f,72S cubic inches make one
cubic foot. Rain one inch deep would
give $3.50 cubic feet. A cubic foot OF
water weighs 624 pounds; 1000 make
a ton. This will give 226,S75 pounds,
or 113 tons and S75 pounds to the acre,
of rain one inch deep Chicago 7rib
ung.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06

Tho darkest hour In the history Of
any Young man l. when he sits down to
study how to got money without hon-
estiy earning it.--Horace Greeley.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06

Fifteen tons of grasshoppers, COM
prising. it is estimated, 6o,0to,OOo sep
arate insects, were captured at the Ma
toma vineyard, near Folsom. Cal, oy
drowning in the irrigating bitches.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06

"A new industry in Portland is the
making of cigar boxes from Oregon
lumber, instead of The imported Span
ish cedar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-08-06

"A dude has been defined in an At
lanta court as "a fellow who is mashed
on himself -
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-03
YOUNG MEN

Who may be suffering from nervous debility
will do well to avail themselves of this, the
greatest boon ever laid at the altar of suffer
ing humanity.
DIR. SPINNEY WILL GUARANTEE TO FORFEIT
FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for every case of
weakness or disease of any kind or character,
which he undertakes and fails to cure. He
would therefore say to the unfortunate suf-
ferer who may read this notice, that you are
treading on dangerous grounds when you
longer delay in seeking the proper remedy Cor
your complaint. You may be in the first
stage-Remember that you are approaching
the last. If you are bordering on the last and
are suffering some or all of its i'll effects, re-
member that if you obstinateiy persist in pro-
crastination the time must come when the
most sillful physician can render you no as
sistance; when the door of hope will be closed
against you; when no angel of mercy can
bring you relief. In no case has the Doctor
failed of success. Then let not despair work
itself upon your imagination, but avail your
self Of the beneficial results of his treatment
before your case is beyond the reach of medi.
cal skill, or before grim death hurries you to
O premature grave.
Piles Cured Without Using Knife or
Ligature,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-03
Articles os rucorporat;on.

Articles were filed with the register of
deeds Incorporating the Union Stone
IL Building company, with a capt.
tai stock of $3.50, 600; liability, $50, OOO
The incorporates and directors are w. \.
HOlway, j. II. Bury, G. \. Fields and W.
L. AkerS. of Minneapolis, and James S,
Pierce, of Portsmouth. James S. Pierce is
president: J. r. Bury, vice president; and
W. y. HOlway, secretary and treasurer.
Articles were yesterday filed incOrpOrat-
ing the Merritt Mining and Milling COM
pany. with capital stock of SIS, 900, 45. 600
shares of which shall be known as treasury
stock and shall only be disposed by direc-
ton of a majority of stockholders. The
highest amount of liability shall be So, 600.
The officers are: President, II. b. Lang
don; w. j. Hahn, secretary; i. III. Lenten,
treasurer. and y. d. Coon, residing at
SOcOrrO. Y. NJ, the general manager.
Amendments were filed to the articles of
Incorporation of the Children's Home So
ciety. changing the name to the Home for
Children and Aged Women.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-03
MINNEAPOLIS PERSONALS.

Col. Plummer of Fargo is in the city.
DR.. James Knight and wife of New York
are at the West.
Hon. A. Biermann of Rochester was in
the city yesterday.
l.. l.. Ame, prominent business man of
Fergus Falls, was in the city yesterday.
f. C. Wadhaust, Will1esbarre, Pa; d.
w. Reyes, Milwaukee; G.. c.. Miclin, Gro
ton, Oak, were on change yesterday.
Rev. F. Brainerd of Iowa, Hon. Henry
Hale and Charles c. Mackubin of St. Paul
were registered at the West yesterday.
Gen. r. Clarke, the popular restauratuer,
has gone to Chicago, where he is going to
open one of the finest restaurants in that
city.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1885-07-03
Two RunavYaHs.

The discharge of a sky-rOcket in front
an auction store at the corner of NieOllet
avenue and Third street, last evening,
frightened the horses attached to two car
TiageS, which collided, throwing the Occu-
pants out and damaging the vehicles con-
siderably. ''SOl' Heffeltinger, who was in
one of the buggieS, struck on his head, and
was severely though not dangerously in
jured. The horse he was driving ran up
NicOllet avenue. but was captured at the
corner of Fourth street.
The playing OF a cOlOred brass band,
which was escOrting a picnic party to the
motor yesterday morning, frightened a
horse attached to the Chicago bakery de-
livery wagon on First avenue south. The
animal whirled around the corner in such an
animated manner that the load of bread
pies and cakes was distributed broadcast
over the street. The horse ran into pile
of dirt on Second street, and stopped be-
cause it couldn't go any further.