The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1885-03-18
VARIETIES.

Town red he does not do it in water col
ors.
A man never realizes how rapidly chill
dren learn until he begins to buy school
books for them.
A poet says: ''The beauty of her
hair bewildered me-" It probably fell
down when he was kissing her.
Mr.. Walters. of Long Island, hanged
himself :" to fool his wife He would
have his little choke.
Men can by no possibility become fe-
male clerks but there is nothing to pre-
vent women becoming mail clerks.
This is a Christian and civilized coun-
try, but just as soon as baby is born
Its parents are anxious to give it weigh.
An Iowa woman's rights lady wishes
that all heads of public schools should be |
women. She wants principals, not men.
" 1t is not good for man to lie loan"
replied Mrs. Yeast when lady asked her
to loan her husband as an escort for q
few minutes.
1t is no wonder that the monarchies of
Europe are becoming distasteful, when
a full-blooded prince is teaching piano
playing at Naples
To lover the geography of the world
resolves itself into two localities-the
place where his sweetheart is and the
place where she isn't.
A Constant Reader - writes "Can
you recommend a face wash that is HARM
less?" Water, if you don't use enough
to drown youself.
Club, will you hold my horse for me
for about ten minutes. ''Not exactly.
kin git ten minutes most any time but
I'll hold i'm for yer for about ten cents.
Emerson says "There is always safety
in valor, but Emerson never was inter
viewed by red-headed woman, with
cold and relentless cowhide hid under
her shawl.
cit pomises to be nice, cool night
So old fellow, if were you I'd go home
and Sleep" "Thash wash MARI wish
me. mister -whah I'm 'fraid of ish schold
wave at home"
The Newark Advertiser did it in this
way Born to the wife of Amos
Josephs, q daughter twins" The in
ference is that full returns were not in
when the first Part of the notice was set
up.
"No, wrote a Montreal convent pupil,
We don't see man over here once
month, but there's a French girl just
come who has a dear little mustache,
and we are training her to smoke cigar
cites and swear.
81 should think You would need a
military guard to deep the young men
away, said a citizen to the father of six
manageable daughters. COIL I'm
pretty good foot soldier myself" was the
cheerful reply.
Miss Rosewood, who took part in anna
teur theatricals son, I'm SO tired l
had to stand all the evening" Miss
Sharp, who was in the audience my
dear, you have not had to stand nearly
as much as we have"
A young lady may keep her lover
waiting twenty minutes in the parlor
while she fixes her back hair, but if she
is only affectionate enough when she
does get down stairs he will admit that
she is worth her weight i'll gold.
Boy: "Please, sir, mother says is
measles catching?" Doctor: "Tell your
mother of course they are. +" Boy: ''Then
please, sir, mother says what will you
giver her to put 'em about the village
she's got 'em awful !"
Little boy" Please I want the doctor
to come and see mother" Servant
doctors out Where do you come
FROM" Little boy = What Don't
YOU know me? Why, we deal with you.
Ma had baby from here last week"
eyes, sir" said the etomologist. 81
can tame flies so that when whistle
they will come and alight on my hand"
"that's nothing. They come and alight
OH my head without my whistling."
"What do you call your dog, Georgie9"
asked the visitor, pleasantly. Psalm"
said George. "That's funny name for
a dog" the caller said why do you
call It Psalm9' And the boy explained
that he did so because the dog wasn't a
hymn.
Landlady Ito lodger): "Beg pardon,
sir, did understand as you was a doctor
of music? ?" Ledger Il am, ma'am.
Whyg. Landlady: "Well sir, my
Billy ave Just bin and broke his concer-
tina and thawt as 'ow should be glad
to put hold job in yer way"
Said good sister in her testimony at
a late camp meeting: My husband OPP
posed my coming to this sacred spot, but
i can truthfully say that i'll coming here
have received blessing; aud 1 know
that when reach home my husband will
get blessing. No one seemed to doubt
her.
Down in Georgia they have egg-suck-
inc Y,nat,.baq A of,ur1la nf falloxuo cfortnd