The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1885-07-01

ruddy-cheeked fellow, well-known and popsl-
uler for his sense Of humor and rough, but
[ good-natured power OF retort. Pete was one
Of our debating orators, and when he rose to
speak a ripple Of laughter would run over
the audience in response to the bread grin
with which be began his ''discoorse.n And
many We're the laughs that followed at his
quaint, humorous way Of treating the aI,yu
raents offered by his opponents.
became acquainted with this love affair
at an early day, and in queer manner I
met Pete IN the woods one afternoon when
be was telling timber Inviting me TO sit
beside him on a stump he gave me his conf
dence.
Il want that gal, Donk,' for that was the
twist he gave my unfortunate name. and
I'm going to git her or break trace-and if
don't, I'm going 70 git up and sit myself =
What do you mean. Pete:'
4 mean to pull out o this neck o woods,
and 90 to San Jo.
And the poor fellows face took ON rueful
look, 50 foreign to it that he seemed another
man
ssWell, how are you getting on in your git,
Pete."
There's where you git me. Derned if I
know. Sometimes she's sweet on me- and
then agin she amt Derned if don't think
she's more in the breechin than the collar.
and all on account of that ornary cuss Andy
Fossett. You see he sorter outshines me.
Hes picking up lets Of money at 'Fountin,
and bucks round in store clothes all the
time. I amt got EN- only for Sunday, and
then / amt used TO EN-. He is Then be
comes down on Sunday, my day, in a spank
| ing rig. and takes her ont a-riding. and the
Lord alone knows what's happening in them
rides" and a vexed expression came over the
poor fellows face. from which the perspira
ton fairly rolled.
why, Pete, you can have my rig any
time you want it
Thank YOU. Douk: but she'd know it
wasn't mine and then | wouldn't fit the har-
ness. / mean" he continued. seeing nv
puzzled look. that the thing wouldn't hitch
harmonious You see them oxen. Wen,
you go to EN- ami speak gently like as YOU
would to q hoss. and they won't move. But
let me take the gad and fling 1t over 'em,
with an oath or two, and they'll bend to it
unanimous. Seer
I think so"
Now that ornary son o Satan has taken
to writin' her letters longest sort, and full
Of honey. She reads EN- to me. l thought
I'd try it on, too, and got book from Mil
ler's store that was just the thing Here it
is
He took from his coat pocket, hanging on
a sapling, a copy of the Complete Letter
Writer and opening ON page IS showed me
model of a letter from a young man to a
young lady, making proposal Of marriage.
1t began, Respected Miss, and was in every
respect a east-iron model.
Well" continued Pete. Il copied that
cut in my best han1write on pink paper,
and carried it to her myself Just as l was
going to band it over, skin my buttons if |
didn't see thai identical book on the table
l just husksd my letter, quick as a shake of
a sleeps tail. She asked me what | had
there, and l said, oh, nothing but some
verses for her-but I guessed Andy Fossett
was a-filling the demand IN that line She
gin q little scornful laugh, BIKE, and said
Andy was beautiful writer-cuss him.
She said cuss him}"
"Oh! dern it, no, 1 thought it. Now, Donk,
l want you to help me-
with all my heart. Pete Shall I make
love for you TO the girlE'
Thunder! no. You'd put in pounds for
yourself for every ounce you gave me. IN
tell you how Folks say, Donk, you have
more farming than common sense. That's a
lie, Of course. How can a man have larning
without sense, want You to write me a
bully love letter, and I'll copy it. You know
how to do it. You can do anything but
make yourszl If useful, and you're right about
that. Eff a monkey could be taught to hoe
he wouldn't be a show in a red coat You
write me that letter, and I'll go to town next
Saturday and give Bill Smith the cussedest
licking he ever got for lying about you the
way he does"
declined the punishment offered my enc
my in my behalf, but promised the letter This
did not save William s., however. He was
some what surprised to find himself de
nounced as a reptile and liar, who was not
to be permitted to prcmulgate SANDERS on
his Peters, particular friend And TO en-
phasize these casual remarks William S. was
given a free admission to certain fireworks
more dazzling than pleasant. William, to
his credit be it recorded, used due diligence,
and came off second best, only, after a gen
eral engagement that was much admired.
The love letter was written in choice
phrase, and garnished with elegant extracts
from Byron and Shelley 1 was rather
proud of my work, and, giving it TO Pete,
assured him that it was simply splendid.
and if it did not fetch the divine Polly there
was no use trying. When 1 saw Pete's copy
I was disg1stel to find that he had not only
interpolated certain ardent expressions of
his own, but had eliminated my sweet
poetry, substituting some of his own selec-
ton, such
The rose is red, the violets blue
Sugar is sweet and so are YOU
When 1 demonstrated Pete said: 'Oh,
| look here, Donk, them flights of yourn are
high pints, and mountainous, but Pop'd
know l didn't come by 'em honestly, and /
don't believe she'd grapple 'em any way
| 1 permitted the letter to CO. and few
days after the divine Pop came into our
/ vine-clad, maple-shaded office, and requested
a word with me in private. looked at my
/ brother student, but he declined taking the
hint. so 1 invited the fair creature to q stroll
| in the garden. Seating myself on rustic
/ bench said:
We'll, Miss Polly, what can I do for
your
| She blushed crimson. and in blushing
took on a grace that was perfectly bewitch-
/ ing Her silken eye lashes dropped over
her dreamy brown eyes. like fringed mis-;
over moonbeams. while her pert little nose.
| borrowing expression from the coral cleft oi
4
| amid confusion. Suddenly, putting her
hand in her bosom, she brought out Pete's
! letter and thrust it at me.
Hello said T. through my mental teie-
/ phone, has the little rogue discovered our
fraud:7 But no, she Immediately said
somewhat hurriedly. There's letter writ
me by Pete. It's first-rate didn't believe
Pete had it in him
/ l pretended to read, and having completed
the pretense said that 1t was the finest thing
Of the sort / had ever seen offered it to
her.
No" sne sad. ''you keep it
why should I keep poor Pete's j. zs
letter Miss Pollys He'd kill ma
.sWell, she said. turning her eomely head
| away, Il want you 20 answer it for me-
| don't want Pete to think / can't give a.
good as he sends You help me. you can dc
it. and not try.
But, Miss Polly, he viii know my
writing
Not after 1 copy it. write good hand
enough, but can't compose worth cent
and then l amt used to such high falutin
fub-1ubsn
By Jove, | thought, here's business-an
swering my own letter, and a prospeci
ahead OF carrying on voluIninous CORE
spondence. 1 consented, and as rewars
for my proposed services the little rogue
...r..ast+i -. ~, -srail. -. Il. = n