Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1885-12-10
COSTLY MALE ATTIRE.
Some of the Expenses OF Posi-
bic Dude.

About this time of the year the friv-
olous Young man rests his head upon
his hands and wonders what he ought
to wear, where he can get it and what
it viii cost. He has perhaps invested
sixtv-five dollars in suit of clothes.
and feels that, as far as the fit of his
coat and the cut of his trousers are con-
rerned, he need fear to look no man in
the face. But still he is passed every
day by other young men whose gor-
geousness rests heavily upon his heart.
What it is he can not tell. They have
not paid more for that hat than he did
his cost eight dollars, and that is the
top prce. Nor are they better looking,
nor taller, nor have they handsomer
legs. In spite of all, however, they
have reached degree of perfection
which the young man feels that he can
not reach The flower in their button
hole seems at home there; their collar
seems made by an artist, and the splen-
dor of their yellow CATERS escapes COM
ment, so well does it correspond with
the splendor of their gloves and trous-
ers. cravat and cane.
If the young man thinks long enough
and is bright he will arrive at the con-
clusion that the other young man owes
his superiority to these very things
the CATERS. cravat, etc.-and the young
man will be right, for these things are
the trimmings. They lift one youth
above the other, as the little slices of
carrot, bits of raw potato and delicate
carving of the rind which decorate the
ham ministered to by French cook
render it superior to its plain boiled
brother. although they may have been
mates roaming the same pen.
The representative store in the city is
on Broadway, not far from the Fifth
Avenue Hotel. and near enough to Del
monico's TO be easily reached in bad
weather Startling socks and binding
-cravats hang in rows in the windows,
with here and there pink dressing
gown to tone down the gOrgeousnesS.
As you enter YOU are met and beamed
upon by young man who combines
all the most startling points of the show
windows, the cravat of frenZi"d red.
the ear-rasping collar, and the blue
silk vest. One glance convinccS YOU
that to remove his shoes would reveal
a wealth of blue silk socks, with lilies
of the valley embroidered upon them.
You ask for handkerchief or three
collars. and your modest order is filled
with Difference and pleasure that
seems very sincere. The bundle is done
up, and the young man begins bowling
you to the door. This makes you say:
Dear, dear, this yoang man could not
work in my stoIe; he has no enter
prise" But you do not yet know the
young man. His are not the vulgar
methods of the everyday clerk, who
tumbleS over pile of goods and rattles
off: Socks. shirts, underwear? Any
thing else can do for you?''
The young man is an artist, and he
waits for an opening 1t comes when
your eye falls upon silk underwear
marked EIGHTY dollars a suit" and
You strangle and cough. An express
sion of deep pain settles on the young
mans face. He taps his silk vest deli
cately, murmurs tearfully: Weak
chest. dangerous weather, dress suit.
sure death, and pulls down a fancy
box. Packed away in it are queer
things made of quilted satin, and re-
sembiing very large chest protectors.
The artist takes one out, straps it
around his neck, and, while you stand
fascinated. explains how admirably it
would protect your lungs while wear
ing dress suit, and how it would pre-
serve your shirt bosom from dirt. If
your eyes do not express admiration.
his words change from loudest praise
to biting criticism.
You do not like it. of course" he
says, "nor do /, to be frank. Most un-
pleasant to advertise the weakness of
ones lungs to the world, and apt to
act as a damper upon the ardor of
ones fiancee. But kindly look at
this"
And then he drags down another
box, and arrays himself in a garment
queerer than the chest protectors. 1t
is vest, cut as all vests usually are,
except that it is wonderfully high in
the neck. and is nearly all back the
only substantial part of it being a
piece Of flannel, oval in shape, meant
to cover and protect the lungs also.
That, the artist explains, is to be put
under your dress shirt, and saves your
lungs without in any way undermining
the affections of your loTed one.
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