davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-01-16
Rapid Growth.

American humor delights in cxag-
geration. The Yankee has such {
pride in the bigness of his country ana
in the rapidity of its progress, that he
enjoys astonishing his hearers with
tales which contain just enough truth
to make the magnilicd sketch funny.
There is town, or rather city, in
central Dakota only four years old.
Just four year ago there was one house,
miserable shanty, standing on the
spot where is now u four-story hotel.
There are five large hotels, six
churches, sixty saloons, skating Kinks,
a system of waterworks, electric lights,
gas, school houses, banks, Wholesale
business houses of all kinds, enter
prise, energy, enthusiasm, push, sell
lishness and money-making in this
four-years-old Hercules. Yesterday,
nothing; to-day, everything.
To illustrate, by a grotesque exag-
gcration, the marvellous growth of the
northwest, the following sketch is
amusing. An engineer on the Chicago
d Milwaukee road, which has pushed
its way into the heart of southern Da-
kota, is supposed to tell the story.
zone day | was driving my engine
over the prairie at the rate of forty
miles an hour, without n house in sight |
md supposing the nearest town to be |
thirty miles distant. But as I glanced
lhead, / was astonished to see that | |
vas approaching large city. rub
led my eyes, thinking it was mir
ge.
Jim, says to the fireman,
what's this place.
Blamed if know says Jim, star
ng out of the cab. Il declare if there
in new town crowd up here since
re went over the line yesterday .
81 believe you re right, Jim. Ring
lie bell, or we shall run over some
ody.'
$50 slowed up and we pulled into
big depot, where more'n five hum
red people were waitin' to see the {
rst train come into the place. The
'nduc;or learned the name of the q
wn, put il down on the schedule and I
G went on. 1
jim, says |, as we pulled out,
eep your eyes open for new towns. Fl
rst thing Sou know we'll be runnin' |,
some strange place = n
"'That's so, says Jim. AN hadn't t.
> better git one of the brakeman to +
itch out on the rear platform of the fl
st car for towns that spring up after
o engine gifts byP"- IoutA's Conn f.
,1iO5l
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-01-16

An action was brought recently be-
fore Mr.. Justice Hawkins in England
to recover the value of two casks of
herring furnished in 1851. "Whv
such long delay asked the iudrc.
We'll. said the plaintiff. Il. again
and again, whenever | could find him.
asked for payment, until at last he
told me to go to the devil, upon which
thought it was high time to come TO
your lordship." A remark which was
received with roars of laughter, in
which the judge joined,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-01-16

The Authors Carnival association.
of San Francisco, has wound up its
affairs. The properties, which cost
$1,000, were sold ut auction for sol.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-01-16

A fine quality of marble has been
discovered at Medical lake, Washing
ton territory. -
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26
He Settled.

'Dat's what We git from foolin' round
wild dem yere lawyers!" he said as he
joined a group of colored idlers on the
market-place.
Being asked why he had been to see
a lawyer, he explained:
You know dat Buck Williams! Pow
erful bad niger he am. GIFTS drunk
an kicks in doahs an clubs winders.
Come round to my cabin one night las
week an stove de doah in an wanted
to clean out de shanty. l falls out O
bed and goes fur him wild an ax-handle,
an dey war gwine to rest me fur
'sault wild intent to kill"
"Well?"
"Wall, when dey tole me he had q
cracked head, broken arm, an war
all broke up, wanted to settle de
case. My ole woman coaxed me to go
an see a lawyer, an de lawyer he tax
ed me $5 an advised me to offer Buck
my ole hoss an wagin' an $25 in
cash."
"And you did?"
"An' | didn't! When l got home his
wife was dar waitin' fur me, and she
said if l didn't han ober $2 in cash an
a sack O. flour she'd mutilatc me wild a
lawsuit clean up to de Supreme Co'rt.
Took me jist sebenteen ticks of de
clock to settle on dat basis, an now l
can't be mutilated nohow. Lawyers!
Dar' paid $5 to one of 'em to tell me
that mus reduce myself from poverty
to affiuence to settle case whar' de
complainant didn't AK but S3, an
would hev gin me fo'ty off on dat if l had
kicked. ."-DetroH Free Press.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26
Roller Skating.

A man by the name of Brown left a
village in this state about two years
ago. Last week he returned, and just
as he was strolling down the street of
his native village he met farmer by
the name of Smith, who was not pros
porous when he left, and lived just
outside the village. Brown was sur
prised to see the stranger attired in
dress snit, with silk hat, and big
diamond pin blazing on his shirt front,
and inquired:
"Been to funeral to day?"
"Why, bless you, no."
mo? | see you have got on your
best clothes. Are you farming yet?'
Charming? Well, | should say not.
| am running roller skating rink
down here
Where is your son Jim?"
ooh, he's running a rink"
"And your daughter Liz?'
"She is skating under the manage.
ment of Tom Jones, in the Maine
rinks'
"And your wife?"
''She skipped out with Prof. Mech
in, an intructor whom | hired when
first Opened the rink"
as Elder Longsermon preaching
here still?"
"No, he resisigned the ministry,
and is now rink instructor"
"Who is preaching in the placer"
"Nobody."
"Nobody? What's the matter?"
Church turned into skating rink. v
"You don't say SOP"
"Yes, sure rs preaching"
"Where is Bill Beck, the grocery
man?" .
"He went out of business year ago.
He's got the ice-cream stand down in
my rink"
''Pshaw! Where's Aunt Sally
Backon and Deacon Schultzer?'
"Why, dang it ALL they're travelling
around visiting rinks, doing the old
man and woman act on skates. | tell
you they're immense
us there anybody left in this town
who does not skater"
"Yes."
"Where are they?"
Cup in the cemetery on the hill. )"
Bangor Commercial.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26

Cloth peddlers are circulating
around in the neighborhood. They
have been in Williams county and the
Bryan Press in speaking Of their
scheme OF taking in" the unsuspect-
ing says:
A stool pigeon is secured in the
neighborhood to show the peddler
around. so that he may not waste his
tine on unreliable persons. The two
enter house and the affable peddler
proceeds to open pack of what ap-
pears to be samples of carpets, musllns,
calicos, grain sacks and such other
articles as the farmer is supposed TO
know the price of. He states that he
is not selling goods but is simply an
advertiser for a syndicate of grangers,
or farmers, who have combined to.
gather and purchased a very large
stock of goods at bankrupt sale. They
have on hand over three million dol
lars worth, be says it is easy enough
to say three million dollars, but
hard to realize the vast pile of
goods that amount represents. His
syndicate has established stores in
Michigan and south of us and are
about starting store in Bryan, which
will be in operation in few days,
He is out showing the goods so that
when the store opens the people will
know what they can do. He then
shows his samples, a fine Brussels at
40 cents per yard, grain sacks at 8!
cents apiece and So He finally finds
in the bottom of his pack few rem
nants of cloth which he would sell
very cheap if the people want to buy.
Don't care for. money, would just as
leave have note. When money is
offered for remnant he don't appear
to want te sell; is anxious to sell in
larger lots. Just here is the point, he
wants the note and we learn that he
has succeeded in getting pretty good
sized notes from some of our citizens.
The maker of the notes may consider
themselves fortunate if, instead of six
ty they do not have to pay six hun
dred dollars. Everybody knows that
cloths of all kinds are being sold by
any of the merchants of this county at
the very lowest living rate and the
peddler who sells over the country
either has an inferior article or else
he expects to manipulate the note in
such manner as to insure profit.
Those who were caught by cloth ped
dlers few years ago, will not invest
this time, but there are many who
have forgotten the trick and many
bite.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26
A Lawyers Joke.

Mr.. Shafer was engaged in the sum-
ming up of a case before Judge Marvin
when Smith entered the room 10 be on
hand for the trial of some one Of his
own cases, which Immediately followed
Shafer's on the calendar. Among the
natural gifts possessed by the latter
was = wonderful command OF language
and a goodly pair of lungs. His stem
torian voice could be heard a block
from the courtroom, and when he
chose to exert it he could well-nigh
raise the dead. As he was laundering
away with his argument to the jury,
Smith had observed the client with
his mouth open, eyes watchful and at
tentive. and drinking in his lawyers
eloquence. Going near enough to be
heard by him, he remarked to another
person: Shafer is going to lose his
cause, for there is a juryman who is
hard of hearing, and he is fellow who
always controls the rest, and he don't
hear Shafer. The client sneaked over
to Shafer's side and whispered "Speak
louder, Mr.. Shafer." ''Sit down, you
Internal idiotp' snorted Shafer in an
angry undertone. The client ha hard
" resumed his seat when Smith again
observed within hearing of the man:
"What pity it is that Shafer doesn't
speak louder; if he does not hewill lose
the case beyond the shadow of a
doubt" Again did the client pull at
the coat-tail of Shafer, and implore him
to speak louder, and once more did the
amazed Shafer order him to his seat
with-a blessing. Smith made third
essay in the clients hearing: "Shafer is
beaten; he might as well throw up the
sponge; the deaf juror has decided on
verdict, as he is gazing tixedly at the
floor, and he won't look up unless he
hears more than he does at present
"Good heavens! do you think SOP"
calculated the client. Certainly"
replied Smith, "the goose is cooked"
The now thoroughly frightened man
jumped up on chair so as to command
the attention of the court, and with
roar like that of a boreal blast he
drowned even the voice of Shafcr, and
implored the judge to compel MIR.
Shafer to speak louder in order that
the foreman of the jury, who was as
deaf as a stone, might hear him.
Shrieks of laughter and perfect tor
nado of mirth brought the trial of the
action to sudden termination.-At-
bang Express.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26
Dongola IL Nest of Slavery.

The London Staldard's correspond
ent states that Dongola is nest Of slav-
cry. 1.-THE trade goes ON under our
very noses"
II know on the best authority that
twenty-five slaves were very recently
sent down to Wady Halfa for private
sale to the Egyptian officials and troops
there. Dongola is in the Soudan, and
accordingly Gen. Gordon's edict in re-
storing slavery is in force, SO that con-
cealment in slave-dealing is now un-
necessary in the bazaars here. In one
of his engagements with the rebels over
thirty negroes were captured by the
mudir, and the delight of these was un-
bounded when, instead of being sold
into slavery, according to the usual
custom, they were turned into soldiers.
Before going back to Dal, l tried to en-
gage two Arabs to accompany me on
the march to Khartoum as attendantsi
but they all objected to going further
than Merawee, even although protect
ed by the British army. But two rath-
er imposing-looking negroes offered
themselves, who, / afterward learned,
were really anxious to 60 south on a
slave-purchasing expedition. All the
work here is done by slaves, and the
town literally swarms with negro slave
girls, who, of course, are gradually
drafted on to lower Egypt, and replaced
by fresh arrivals from the interior. 10
render slave-dealing again illegal in the
Soudan will not, however, put a stop to
the traffic, which will never entirely
cease until slavery in the Mahommedan
countries bordering the Mediterranean
is entirely abolished"
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26

The Warsaw Republscan-Indi
aThe price of country papers should
never have been reduced below $500.
The reason why this has been done, is
because the country publisher is met
with the argument on the part of his
patrons that such and sich city pa
per can be had for 81 year. The
way that the city publisher is enabled
to do this should be considered. In
the first place the type is set for daily
journal, for which ample pay is re-
ceiyed from its patrons; then semi
weekly is printed from the same type;
again a tri-weekly is made up using
the same type; and last of all the same
type setting is used to get up the cheap
weekly. Hence, it will be seen that
four papers are sold from the same
type, making it simply out of the
question for the publisher who only
sells one issue from the same type to
compete with his over-grown city
rival. Another thing; the country
publisher furnishes the local news, and
pays attention to those matters which
are of special interest to his readers
and patrons, which his city rival can
never do, and would not do if he
could. Patrons of all country papers
should look at this matter in the right
light, and not ask an imr ossibllity of
the country publisher in competing
with one who receives pay four times
for his labor, while the other receives
but one; and the publisher should
never have listened to the demand to
reduce the price of his journal to
figure at which it could not possibly
be furnished"
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26
How many boys and girls know

How many boys and girls know
how sleigh bells are made? The little
iron balls are too big to beput through
the holes in the bell, and yet it is in
side. How did it get there? The lit
tie iron ball ia called the 'jinglet. :"
In making the bell the ball is put in
side little ball of mud, just the shape
Of the inside of the bell. Then a
mould is made just the shape of the
outside of the bell. This mud ball
with the jing'et inside, is placed in the
mould of the outside and the melted
metal is poured in, which fills up the
space between the ball and the mould.
When the mould is taken off you see
sleigh bell, but it will not ring, as it
is full of dirt. The hot metal dries
the dirt that the monld is made of, 50
it can be shaken out After the dirt
is all out of the little holes IN the bell
the little iron jinglet will still be in the
bell, and will ring 1t took good
many years to think out how to make
q sleigh bell.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26

The "rebel" cry, that has been fill
ing the Republican papers since the
successful issue of the campaign goes
anabated now that the new admins
tration has begun. Republicans prate
Increasingly about their love for the
Union, but we have no example OF it
IN their earnest effort to ALLEVIATE the
South by thelr bitter TRADE against it,
and the "rebels" who people the
southern states. How the Republican
ghouls love to gloat over the word
"rebel, for abuse ana anathemas that
belong exclusively to dead past are
their one sickly consolation in time of
defeat. So calling is their loss of
governmental power after twenty four
years of supremacy, that they must
need take up the petty weapons of
spite and Justification to defend them
selves. Witness their efforts to
arouse the negroes 2f the South last
fall by wanton fabrication of an al
legged Democratic policy. The ques-
tion of slavery was long since decided.
The war ended twenty years ago.
Flowers bloom on the sod that was
once red with the blood of brave men
on both sides. Birds build their nests
IN the mouths of old cannon and flow
ers are stewn alike on the graves of
the blue and the gray. Old issues
have been replaced by those of today
that CAL for new line of action.
The south fell back into ranks long
since, and now it is Reform, and not
Rebellion, that fills the public mind.
But the old wounds must cape afresh
to satisfy the ire Of q disappointed
party. "Oh, yes, )" say the mighty So
IONS of the defunct government 1--WE
must labor diligently to prejudice our
forces against the present rulers SO
that victory may be ours four years
hence" And so the great work goes on
and on every side is heard the rebel
slogan. A 'rebel yeil'' marred the
solemnity Of the Inauguration. Cleve-
hand is surrounded by rebels because
ha takes as his colleagues men who
were true to their southern convic.
tions, just as the Republicans are true
to theirs, that it is meet aud proper
20 renew the strife between the north
and south, at this late day. But their
present resurrection of the rebellion is
not fraugbt with danger to the Union.
Their efforts to convince their con-
stituents that the nation is in peril are
too weak, ludlcrous to be OF serious
import. The feeble utterances of a
hopeless party fall powerless on the
ears Of sensible public, while undls-
turbed, the powers that be maintain
she helm of the government. Just as
The "rum, romanism and rebellion"
stterance of Burchard brought dire
disaster to the party in 1884, so is ore
bellion" sounding the death knell for
the lost cause in 1888
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26

A good watch should be oiled once
q year and cleaned once in three
years. II jeweler tells you that
there is some very serious trouble
or break in your watch, which will cost
several dollars to get repaired, ask
him to take it Adown" and let
you see the trouble, 1t is better to
wind ones watch In the morning than
IN the evening, since, if you wind it
at night and expose the watch to the
cold, the chilling of the tightly wound
main spring may break it. Frequent
ly empty out the dust that accumulates
so quickly IN your watch pocket. 1t
will not injure watch or a clock to
turn the hands bsckward.-Er.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26
Career of n Maine Printer.

One of the best preachers and most
successful pastors in the Maine Meth
odist conference began life as print
er's devil. He learned the trade, and
with partner ran printing office in
Augusta. What education he had at
that time he picked up while at the
case, as many an able man had done
before him. He had the knack of
writing, and turned off a good many
sketches and essays, which readily
found publishers. He wrote a novel,
and it would have been published had
he not experienced religion and made
up his mind to be minister. He had
been lively fellow, fond of gay COM
pany, had bee" "around with the boys"
and knew the ways of the world. But
he possessed q good share of moral
stamina and an eminent portion of
common sense. He changed his mode
of life completely. He preached two
or three times in a country sehoolhouse.
He went to Presiding Elder Martin,
who then had the Augusta district. and
told him he wanted to enter the minis
try. Conference would meet in just
six months. Rev. Mr.. Martin told him
to 60 ahead and study. He saw there
was the right stuff in the converted
printer. The young man worked hard
in the ensuing six months, and master
ed considerable theology. He was ta-
ken into the conference on probation,
and was assigned to village in Oxford
county. Here he remained three years,
preaching two sermons every Sunday.
He wrote his sermons, committed them
to memory, and spoke without notes.
His charge liked him SO well that they
tried to have him stationed in neigh
boring town in order that he might
supply their pulpit. He was called to
a larger field, remained two years, and
was then called to one of the largest
Methodist churches in the State. The
Rambler would suggest that he has
only begun his career, and would pre-
dict that he is to be one of the foremost
men in his denomination. His some
time partner, by the way, stuck to the
printing business, and is said to be
worth nearlya million of dollars to-day.
-LeWiStoH journal.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26

This extreme tired feeling we have I'm
the spring, fall and during summer de-
notes torpid liver; we have no appetite
and no ambition. Take DR.. Jones' Red
Clover Tonic; it corrects these troubles,
restores good spirits. 1t speedily cures
dyspepsia, bad breath, piles, pimples,
ague and malaria diseases. A perfect
tonic, appetizer and blood purifier. Can
be taken by the most delicate. Price 50
cents old. J. Humphrey.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26
Wonderful.

From the Pittsburgh Dispatch, Sept. 25th, 1880.
Every seldom do we read of an actual
case of recovery, where hope had alto
gether been lost, to parallel that which
was Monday investigated by Dispatch
reporter, who had heard in various quar-
tiers persons talking to their friends Of
cure, seemingly little short of marvellous,
that had been performed. The plain facts
in the case referred to, without exaggera-
ton, are these, as they were learned from
the mother of the young man, his pastor
and other persons we'll known in the COM
munity:
William Lincoln Curtis is the name
of the young man in question. He is now
employed at ii. X. Porter & Co.'s loco
motive works in Pittsburgh, Pa. A year
ago he resided with his mother on Grant
street About that time he went to bed
one evening with violent pain in his
shoulder, the result, he thought, of cold.
The next morning the shoulder was
greatly swollen, the pain was intense, and
aches were felt all through his system.
His case was speedily developed into
violent form of chronic rheumatism,
among the first notable features of which
was the paralysis of his left arm.
"He gradually grew worse, and in few
months the elbow and knee joints and
both ankles became enormously enlarged.
In March last the cheek bones began to
enlarge, and upon his left side partcu-
larly, spreading his face out OF all resem-
blance to his former self. The pain in all
his joints became intense; fever, with its
deteriorating effects, was now added, and
he became rapidly reduced to the semblance of
skeleton, while vitality reached its lowest
possible condition, and his sufferings were of
such an indiscribable character that those who
most loved him sometimes thought it would be
better if he was called away. At this time
physicians well known in Pittsburgh informed
his parents TINT they could give no hopes of
recovery.
"The young man finally commenced taking
that wonderful medicine, PERUNA. In two
weeks quite change for the better, was per-
ceptihlc. In six weeks all the enlargement had
hetn reduced completely, while in spirits and
siren TIL the patient was quite a well as he had
he resumed work Il inachins' ut his old place,
able to perform as much Labor as ever in his life
"Thc mother OF Willie Curtis, in stating all
these facts, said 'lndccd, | can not look upon
the cure much less than rs Il miracle. | do not
hesitate in sounding the praise of PkRUHA, and
IN recommending it 10 all my fricnds.'"
The pastor of the church where the young
man attended Sabbath school was visited, and
he readily confirmed the facts of the deformed
bones. the emaciated condition from disease,
and of the doctors having given him up. He
was greatly surprised at his improved condition.
Said he, "If he had not spoken, would not
have known him."
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1885-03-26
MIR. Cough on Silk Hats.

ut would be no violation of the COM
mandment," said John B. Cough, "ifa
man were to fall down and worship the
silk hat, for it is not made in the like
ness of anything in heaven, or on
earth, or in the waters which are under
the earth" Besides it heats the head
and causes hair to fall off. Parker's
Hair Balsam will stop that and restore
the original color to gray or faded hair.
Not oily, not dye, beneficial, deli
ciously perfumed. A perfect hair
dressing. SOC. All druggists.