Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-04-03

with his or her welcome plaudit, that
guest was marked by the eagle eve of
the carvist, and he was given the neck
OF the turkey and the wing of the duck
as mark of respect.
Habitual guests at my house have
learned this, and when | ladle out the
gravy and jew de SPIRIT as A.
Ward called it, they know that they
can take their choice between bolster
Gus laughter and starvation. In this
way the meal passes off with much
ectdt. For each slash of the carving
knife there is a suitable joke, and those
VINO have been in the habit of eating
at my table are aware that there is
proper moment for mirth. just as there
is for napkins, finger bowls or coffee.
l do this partly because want to
draw attention from my carving. NV
carving is like my dancing. 1t is not
conventional. 1t is extremely original,
bold and audacious. try to introduce
joints where nature did not intend to
have them. and l seek to make short
cuts across fowl in way that is pro-
ductive only of chagrin. vexation and
fragments of hen. Man is a weak,
fallible creature. and he ought not to
seek to monkey with the anatomy of a
fowl or to improvise joints and aper-
lures where they do not belong; for at
such time as you think not the knife
will slip, and it will tip over the celery
glass and fill the bosom of warm per-
sonal friend with gravy.
To attract attention and keep up the
spirits of the company, therefore, l
make it kind of business, as it were,
to fill the air with harmless amusement
at the same time that l shed stutfing
through the atmosphere and mutilate
the bosom of the hen. This gives me
an opportunity, occasionally, to gather
up the sage. breadcrumbs and gizzards
out of my lap, and return them to the
platter without exciting remark.
A few weeks ago, on an occasion of
this kind, cousin of mine-a young
LAWYER connected with the Omaha
road, young man of good parts, and
whose business it is to stand between
the Omaha road and substantial justice,
at so much year and travelling ex-
penses-was present.
had Just said something smart to
keep the company good-natured while
asked a young lady at the other end
of the table to please return the duck
which had inadvertently presented to
her with the carving fork stuck in it.
Every one was laughing joyously and
trying to conceal it by putting their
napkins in their mouths, when my cous-
in turned to my little daughter and
said:
Bessie. haven't you got a funny
papa. though?'
Yes, indeed" said the ungrateful,
unfilial and irreverent heir apparent to
a great name; ..you better believe he 5
funny-when we have company"
And yet people wonder why am
not the same genial host that | used to
be, and why the children do not eat at
the first table, and why there is
sound of kicking against the door of
an adjoining room. and the occasional
wall of a hungry child as the meal pro-
crosses.
Eli Perkins once told me that he Was
teaching his little girl to tell the truth.
asked him who he employed to at
tend to the irksome task, and whether
he was not rash to take up branch of
the science for which there was getting
to be SO little use
1t is said that truth is mighty and
will prevail. 1t is certainly mighty in
the mouth of child. Still, we may
always expect more or less of it from
children-until they get to moving in
good society and learn better.