The Washington critic., 1885-08-03

Jones OF Texas, with Lanham of Texas,
a good third. These Congressman rep
resent big and growing districts with
innumerable wants. They are ON
niverous. They exhaust their own al
lotments Of seeds early, and then get as
many assignments of orders from other
Congressman as they can. A literary
Congressman, who wants to swap seeds
for documents, Is great find for
seed Congressman. For instance, Rep
resentative Miliken Of Maine traded
his tobacco seed with Phil Thompson,
ir,, of Kentucky for printed copies of
Blaine's eulogy on Garfield. Maine
needed the culogies moie than the to-
bacco seed. The average Congress
man sends from ten to three hun
dred names OF seed constituents to
the Commissioner. Occasionally the
lists reach 1000 names, and there have
been members who have sent in 5000
names, with the request to send one
paper of seed to each. The Senators
draw their seeds with as much punctu-
aliiy as the Representatives. Warner
Miller does not send OUT small saplings
that will grow into woodpulp trees, as
has been supposed. He has very COM
plete list OF halfbreeds to whom Com
missioner Colman franks choice flower
and vegetable seeds. Nevada Jones
has constituency that grows nothing
but quartz rock, lie gives away his
seeds to his swarm OF friends. The
frosty Edmunds Is as formal and
as mysterious in the seed business
as he is in everything else. No
body ever sees his list of benelici-
aries. lie does not send 1t from the
Department, but orders the seed sent
to his residence in bulk. lie then goes
into executive session with himself aud
before coming out makes Il solemn oath
never TO divulge what has happened.
#*#
Colonel Robert q. Ingersoll went
down to the Oriental Hotel at Coney
Island last Thursday night accom-
panied by his wife, two daughters, a
friend and an Irish foxhound. The
"doughty iniidel," as the New York
Tribune calls him, and tells the story,
thinks deal of his dog, and his chubby
face flushed with anger when Clerk
Silleck told him that it was n rule OF
the hotel that no dogs should be per-
mitted in its spotless corridors and
chamber. "We can't accept him as II
guest, - said the clerk in depre eating
manner "rhen you can't have me"
said Colonel Ingersoll. The clerk
shrugged his shoulders, while the Col.
Onel intimatcd that it would be profit
able to make an exception to the hotel
rule, as he intended to remain for the
season. ut wouldn't work" "I'll Sc,
Mr.. Corbin," asserted the famous lee
tnrer. MIR. Corbin only emphasized
the assertion Of the clerk that the dos
must go. Then in a towering rage the
Colonel put his dog under his arm, anC
summoning his family, shook the sant
of Coney Island from his shoes anC
/, sought rest and reelection at Ions
5 Beach.
. #**
4 A gentleman who came to Washing
!, ton not great while ago, well indorso'
: for the position Of superintendent OF
0 division in the Railway Mail Service
, made his application to the Presiden
4 direct, and, although not appointed
8 processes to be entirely satisfied. IIo'
s il happens he thus explains to til
. Minneapolis Tribune correspondent
5 "You see" he says, 81 called on tn
o President twice, the first time simply
4 pay my respects. The second time
!, made my business known, and calle
{ attention to my Endorsements. | wa
G surprised at the reception. The Pres
|, dent did not give me any encourage
ment and he did not snub me. II
e said: Let's talk it over and we die
o | sat with him more than half an houl
3: In that time he had learned all m
IF qualifications and had thorough know
e edge of my abilities. In fact, he We
IS the lawyer and | the witness. II
pumped me dry, and then told me thu
the Office was under the jurisdiction
the Postmaster General, and that h
= did not like to interfere in the condut
3, of the affairs of his various cabinet of
ne GERS. He added that he considered IL
10 Railway Mail Service one OF the mo
important branches of the Governmel
II service, and he dismissed me with I'll
=. assurance that my claims should /
Is considered. Since then | have learne
that another man has better prospe
for the place than have. He is, | a
of inclined to believe, better qualified Il
=, the place than l am" "What do yC
VI propose to do?" $50 home and assun
81 my usual occupation. There are tt
s, many hanging about Washington f
re places, aud | don't care to join the
., ranks" Here is a good man wht
wanted.