News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1885-04-09

"No," the pretty girl returned, with
a glance that pinned him to the side OF
the lobby, ''perhaps not now, but you
will be when you grow up"
Then she swept on, while young
Sypher was SO astounded that he actual
ly forgot to light his oakum-s stuffed ci-
garette when he got outside. Boston
Journal.
A SAFE PLACE.
Frank Miner, gentleman from In.
diana, was seated alongside the driver
on stage going to Brownsville. They
were near the Rio Grande. Frank, by
the way, had embezzled lot of money,
and was en- route to Mexico.
sis this country safe2" asked Frank
of the driver.
"Safel Why, of course it is"
"No robbers? ?"
Robbers Why this part of the
country has got such bad name that
the highway robbers are afraid to risk
5heir lives in these parts. "-Ieras Sytt.
ialgs.
| hhI1NS
"What makes you think they're en-
gagged, Mrs. Quigley? Did her mother
tell you?"
"No; she hasn't said a word to me
about it."
'"Then I suppose her father men.
toned it to your husband ?"
"Oh, dear, no."
"Well, 1 give it up, then. How did
you find it out ?'
''Why, I met them out walking the
other afternoon, and stopped to chat
with them few minutes. They'd both
been eating onions, and 1 tell you, Mrs.
buckley, sign like that never fails.
They'll be married before three months,
or I don't know a mop from a mug.
wump. Chicago Ledger.
THE DEAR CHILDREN.
Deacon Bucrag addressed the Sunday
school children as follows:
81 will tell you story, dear children.
Little Harry was real good little boy.
but his brothers Tom and George were
bad and thoughtless. One day, while
passing the house of a poor widow,
Tom and George began to throw stones
at her cat. Little Harry reminded them
that this was very wrong, and remon.
strated SO earnestly that presently they
| stopped throwing stones at the cat, and
| nn+u, donr ehild-on, What do yor, think
Tom and George then did ?"
s'Began to throw stones at little
Harry" was the general shout. San
Francisco hag2eside.
WORKED BOTH WAYS
"Why are you like the moon, Nick
up" said his friend Batee. ST give it
up" answered Niekup. "Well, because
your face is always bright and beaming
with good nature" said Bates, and he
looked toward the bar. ''That amt
bad; I'll just tell that to my wife when
I get home" said Nickup, and then he
winked at the bartender and told him
to ''set 'em up again"
"Mary," said he, as he tumbled into
bed that evening, "Why am I like the
moon ?" "What is it P' she sharply
asked. He repeated the question. 'Be-
cause you are full every month in
the year." she answered and crushed
him.-Gticaoo Tribune.
THE REToRT COURTEOUS.
Woman's cruelty to woman has made
thousands fail to speak to each other.
Cicely had just dropped in to congrat-
ulate her friend on pleasant prospects
directly after Lent.
"Oh, I am so glad for you, my dear.
Augustus always was such charming
company. Oh, he's real nice. He paid
me marked attentions half dozen years
ago."
"Indeed I believe I've heard him
say something about your being very
dear friend of his mother"
The coffee cream froze in the little
quaint pitcher on the table. So did the
mornings conversation. - Hartford
Post.
IN THE LEGIsLATURE.
"Mr. Speaker, arise to place in
nomination man, sir, what we all
know, sir, to be q man what amt got no
peer nowhar. We all know that he is
more than qualified, sir, for the posi-
ton, for 1 sarved with him durin' the |
wah, sir; he will not only represent the
great partee, but, sir, the entire State. |
Durin' the dark and bloody days when
the pale face of hunger put its bloody
hand on the heart of the nation he was
found to be as true as steel, an grabbed |
the CORY wolf by the lappels of his
shirt and shook him until he loudly
begged for mercy. ."-Arkansae0 7raV-
eELer.
LITTLE EDITH UPPERToN.
"Good-by, shan't see you again for
six weeks" Little Nellie Lowerton
"Why, are you going away?" eyes.
We is all going away to Aunt Harriet's
in the country. We's going to skate,
and sleighride, and have quilting bees,
and country dances, and tea parties,
and oh, lots of fun" "But why can't
you all stay in the city and have nice
time just the same ?" "Why, don't you
hAO" IL LChoy uIh ~ w
have fun where people can see you."-
PhiladeIphia CAL.
IT WOULDN'T PAY.
Through the telephone: "Is that you,
doctor ?"
Eyes, who is it ?"
"Mrs. Merony. Oh, doctor, what
shall do for baby? He has swallowed
dime"
"Well, you surely don't want to spend
two dollars to get dime, do you r and
the telephone ceased working. .-NeaO-
man Independent.
EASILY PROVEN.
'I want to get rid of my partner"
remarked the mean man to lawyer.
"Who is he ?"
"My brother. 1 want to prove that ne
has bad reputation"
''That is easy enough, You can say
that he is your brother"