The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1885-08-08
NO soJERlNG.
Partner In Theater who wanted the
Orchestra to Earn Their Money.

Partner In n Theater Who wanted the
Orchestra TO Earn Their Money.
Once upon time, as fairy stories
commence, Colonel Wood, of Chicago,
themuseum man, took in as partner in
| his theater native from Arkansaw,.
who thought the business would just
suit him. although he knew no more
about museums or theaters than a dog
knows about Choctaw
The evening of the day the bargain
was concluded the new partner at
tended the performance, for the first
/ time in his life, selecting seat in the
parquette. close to the orchestra. His
attention was divided between the play
and the operations of the orchestra,
the latter perhaps getting the lions
share, 1t was noticed by Mr. Wood,
who was also present, that when watch
ing the musicians he would frown and
crochet his brow, and work his laws ON
his quid of natural leaf ore vigorously
than usual.
The next morning he met the leader
Of the orchestra Ga Frenchman), and
accosted him;
See here, pardner, now tibet I've
| got q right to chip in when see any.
thing goin' wrong about this theayter,
havin' bought an interest in it, Id
like ter ask you why you hev such lot
of chumps in the music box with
youpn
"Chumps!" said the astouished lead
er, una fol, what is Eat chumpP Idon't
not know him. W.
''Whg, sticks, to be sure; fellers who
eyther don't know their business or are
playing off on you.
Mon Dieu, c'est impossible replied
the Frenchman; I'VE have re best or
ehestra in Cheecago; absolute partaite-
meq,t. y
ooh, come of, now; you can't fool
me if am from Arkansaw Watched
your fellers last night, and YOU didn't;
| your back was turned to most on EN-,
It's a Mary Ann fact that they didn't
play more'n half the time. Why, that
Teller who blows the long horn that
shoves in and out was foolin' with his
insterment nearly all the evenin'; the
old fogy who pretended to play the bull
fiddle only Clipped in about every five
minutes; the Dutchman who run
the drums didn't hit the big
| one but twice to my GER
tin knowledge; the fiddlers all
'sojered' more or less, and in fact the
whole caboodle acted just as though
they thought 1t didn't make much
difference whether they played most of
| the time or not. Even Won, Yourself.
fooled a good deal swingin' your fiddle
bow around instid of gettin' all you
could outen your catgut.'
''But, ma cher Major YOU seem not
to comprehend. We haf to play Just as
re music is written. Re great Bach,
Ofienbach and othaire mastaires of 10
devine music have put in ze rests for
re different instruments all through 20
piece, and we hat strictly to follow
him.
"You do, ehP" said the stubborn
Major; ''well, we'll have to reform
here. / hain't been brung up on a
plantation for nothin'. Why, sir, be-
fore the wah used to run over n hum
dred niggers, and you fellers did more
'sojerin last evenin' than the whole
gang of end do in week. Say, you
get thunderin' salary, and probably
consider yourself way up in music,
don't you, nowP'
Leader with a shrug): "Osi, not
complain of my salarie; he is yer good;
but | hat, vat you call itp-reputa-
cionne; hat compose re several pieces
music myself vich hat been re grand
success. "
"Oh, you hev, hey youp Wall, I'll
tell you what | want you to do. You
just tackle your sheets of hiarogliphics
and do away with all those rests old
Ohenback and the other chaps put in,
SOS the men'll have something to do
all the time. You can't make me be-
lieve tibet theirs any sense in payin'
lot of pirates to come here and fool
away their time evenin's dom next to
nothin'."
BY this time the Gaul was mad that
is to say he had hot gall; and if Col
onel Wood had not happened along
Just then, there might have been q row
between the, new proprietor and the
musician. The Colonel, however, BY a
few bland words, Gained the offended
violinist and explained to the Arkan-
saw man, that, hard as it seemed to a
frugal man to see his employees appar-
emily wasting SO much time, they were
really keeping time all the time, and
all well-regulated orchestras had to
have just about so many men to pro-
duce the best effect on critical audi
ence.
The Majors only reply was: "Wel.
III be dmged!n-Pecb's Sun.