The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1885-01-10
BILL NYE's LATEST,
TIE TRounLE A GRADUATE uAp1s TELLING

BILL NYE's LATEST,
THE TRouDLE GRADUATE nApIs yELLINo
HIS STORY.
| think that one reason there are SO
few good story tellers among US is that
the listeners are, in many instances, 81
willfully and so stubbornly pnappreci.
ative that it tends toward discou-aging
the skillful narration Of arst.class anco.
dotes.
There were four of US together com.
ing across "the divide q few years ago,
and this principle was then and there
cincidated, Gibbon, Gregg, and my
self were oongenial acquantances, and
we would have enjoyed the long ride if
it had not been for man named Saw
sage, who had only recently escaped
from some low-priced educational iuslI-
tuition. He had acquired a few cast.iron
facts of the cyclopsde variety, and With
the odor Of the valedictory all through
his clothes he vas making tour of the
coast and Colorado. lie was what you
may call really statistical, brainy Young
reservoirs or information who burs. forth
from the Alma Mater.with the intention
OF going to Congress in two years, but
finally compromising the matter 40 yoars
later by running for overseer of high
ways and getting showed under by about
1877 majority.
When Gibbon saw Mr.. Sausage get on
the stage he said to mo in low voice,
"Nye, va are undone. Sausage will
doubtless endeavor to relate some snec.
dote to US on the way, and then shall
commit ap atrouious crime"
But he didn't do 80 the first ten miles.
He conteuted himself by shedding other
information, and explaining THINGS that
be had just found in his physical geo.
graphy, and stunning us with the hard
words that always float around in the
aquarium which young men refer to as
their brains.
FINALLY, however, soma one reminded
him of story, Gregg tried to turn the
conversation, out it was of no use. Said
he: 1T seems that many years ago
traveller or tourist Of soma description,
whose namo is immaterial---"
Fanny name," said Gregg. Don't
you think so, Gibbou?'
"Yes. Foreigner, probably, I knew
--..,oT Jimmy Terrial once,
thought
We discussed the name for four or five
miles, and thon allowed Sausage to pro.
coed.
"Well, as I vas going TO say, this tour
ist traveller, or sojourner was prepound-
ing inquiries relative to the climate
changes and isothermal-"
"Now, pardon me- said Gibbou, "but
are you snre that word is not pronounced
isothermal2"
venture to remark that is-other-mal
was the correct accent; while Gregg
sided with Sausage. From qniet dis
cussion this grew into a regular row.
which lasted at least ten miles. Then
we allowed the narrative 10 proceed.
"Well, at last to make q long story
! short, the traveller and native of thi,
country"
Remember his name7' asked Gregg
"We've got the other mans name. We
ought to have this one."
NO" says Sausage. II didn't give
the tourists name, you remember"
II beg pardon" said Gregg. " don't
want to seem querulous and all the time
kicking up a row with comparative
stranger, but you certainly gave us the
other gentleman's name"
We then had long and highly enjoy
able quarrel, during which Gibbon and
1 challenged Gregg aud Sausage to fight
us in a dark room, each man to be blind
folded aud armed with An adze. Best
man to pay all funeral expenses and scrub
out the room next day.
To this Gregg agreed, but Sausage
said be wasn't q very expert Alderman
and wanted to apologize.
Glbbon and hesitated. Finally WI
agreed to think it over, but In the mean
time We begged Sausage to go ahea;
with his story, as We would reach th,
home station in Ave minutes more.
At last he made out to tell the stor,
: that Adam found under the currant
bushes when he went into the Garden o
, Eden, about the place where the year wa
| divided into mine months winter an,
three months late into the fall"
t At the station Sausage went on East b
] the train, and We took No. for Sal
7 Lake City. On the way Gregg, Gibboi
= and each sent a telegram to Mr.. Saw
E sage, separately, which read as follows
S to-wit:
e "E, Ptolemy Sausage. care Conducio
7 No. 4: Have heard that b. G. story c
Q yours before. Collect"
And Wa had i'm