Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-12-18
BRIGHT BITS.


THE difference between the Keelv motor
and mare is that money makes the mare go.
PHILADELPHIA eau.
THERE" said a we'll known tenor as he
heard cat fight at midnight. ''There, il
could only hold that high c as long as those
cats can could gel 5000 a night. "-PAttd-
delDhid Herald.
CORNELL Observation-Disclosures lecture in
general chemistry: Prof.--"I will now treat,
etc" smith, who has been doing under the
influence of recent pOtatIOns, half aroused by
tn 'anlli"~ sound Good rr you, OF boy"
Cornell Era.
A ST. Louis tailor recently left note be-
side ms dead body saying that he had COM
united suicide. Owing 70 the extreme unre-
liability of taiior5 il is believed by the police
that he was either murdered or 10 still alive.
-Aeao York Graphic.
JOLLY YOUNG MAN Ito total stranger)-
Come and take something. Let's all be happy.
Lave aud let live Il my motto. Total stranger
irlgldly-It is not mine, sir? j. Y. M.-NOt
yours? You amaze me! T. S.-cOntdentialiy,
! am an undertaken, my dear sir .-PhjIa
detDbid cal.
COL. FIzzLEToP was under the painful ne
cessity OF administering a severe castigatiOn
10 Ills son Johnny. After he had completed
his labors he SAID sternly to the suffering VIC
tim Now tell me why | punished yOuW
"Ihets 1" sobbed Johnny; you nearly
pound the'life out Of me, and now you don't
SCRAwLER-"Now, old man, you have heard
my poetry; tell me what you think of 1t. /
want your candid opinion"
Scather-"Iou want my candid opinion, Ell?
Wrll, 70 be frank wouldn't write any more,
if were you,'
scra,s ler-"It's very evident you don't
know much about poetry"
S3ather-"O, see, you want nay cdRdied
opinion. 10 htcd0o Rambler.
AT ONE of the large retail clothing stores OF
Washington street an Old lady, accompanied
by SIX tOoter oil boy, both fresh from rural
parte, appeared. The old lady inquired:
Have yew an ulcer overcoat tew it his lad?"
YES ma'am,' replied a pert salesman, 1--WE
fashionable styles"
"Dear me-" remarked the aged woman, II
thiu& | have made a mistake. Amt this the
General Hospital: Come, Nathan, let us go
went to the chagrin of the would-b be witty
clerk.-BOst0as Ba60et.
A PALPABLE HIT.-In a certain small town
the member OF the various religious sects
we're very tolerant toward each other. The
ciergymen, IN particular, were very friendly.
On the occasion OF the Jewish rabbits SILVER
wedding be Invited the> Protestant clergy
man. and also the Roman Catholic priest.
WINE the reverend Gle gymen were enjoy
ing the good cheer set before them the priest
said TO the rabbi: II know that you are
very liberal minded gentleman, but could
you bring yourself to eat pork?' "Certalnly
Coulu Ielisn some nam, at iC1sJ ON one Oc-
casion." And that would be-" "At the
marriage dinner of your reverence Texas
SiItia1S.
SHE SHOULD HAVE DARNED EN-
The beautiful maiden Is shopping to-day,
Quite busy and to her surprise,
While through the Jhronged street she is tax
ing her way,
Her beau IN the street she espies,
Good @r ',ous! It's awful! He's coming, no
doubt,
ana swift to her heart strikes pain /;
The eyes of affection Will single her out,
He. see her and speak, that is plain.
she halts, bushes redly, then crosses the
street.
Avoiding the youth that she loves;
The maid it would mortfy much should they
meet
There are holes in the tips of her
gloves. Boston Courier,