The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1885-03-27
BILL NYE TO TEE NEW PRESIDENT.

Dear Sir: The painful duty of turning
over to you the administration of these
United States and the key to the front door
of the White house has been assigned to me.
You will find the key hanging inside the
storm door and the cistern pole up stairs in
the hay.mow of the barn.
1t is expected that you will make such
changes in your cabinet and other furniture
as you may see fit. The asparagus bed,
however, will need little top dreseing in
the spring, and you can do as you see fit
about putting pillow shams on the pie-plant
bed. In your attitude toward foreign pow.
ers you will, of course. have your own ideas,
and a suggestion from me at this time would
be entirely out of place. Govern the peo-
pie with a firm yet gentle hand, and put a
little rat poison down cellar where it will
do the most good.
have made good many suggestions to
the outgoing administration relative to the
transfer of the Indian bureau from the de-
partment of the interior to that of the
'tSweet by-and-by." The Indian, may
say, has been great source of annoyance
to me, several of their number having
jumped one of my most valuable mining
claims on White river. Still do not COM
plain of that This mine, however, l am
convinced would be good paying property
if properly worked, and should you at any
time wish to take the regular army and
such other help as you may need and re-
capture it from our red brother, I would be
glad to give you controlling interest in it.
You will observe, on taking possession of
the administration, that the navy is little
bit weather-beaten and worny. 1 would
suggest that it be newly painted in the
spring If it had been my good fortune to
receive majority of the suffragss of the
people for the Office you hold, should have
painted the navy red. Still, that need not
influence you in the course which you may
see fit to adopt.
You will find all papers in their aprro-
priable pigeon holes, and small jar of Gu
cumber pickles down cellar, which were
left over, and to which you are welcome.
The asperities and hart burnings that were
the immediate result of hot and unusually
bitter campaign, are now all buried. Take
these pickles and use them as though they
were your own. They are none to good for
yon. You deserve them. We may differ
politically, but that need not interfere with
our warm personal friendship.
r.
and an old ak in the wood shed, which a
man from Ohio left with US to have ground.
OF course you do not make business of re-
ceiving presents, but ca mot refuse to re-
ceive these a.slighs testimonial of regard
and not in the nature of bribe.
There are many affairs of great moment
which have not enumerated in this brief
letter. because l have felt some little
delicacy and timidity about appearing to be
at all dictatorial or of1icious about matter
the public might charge me with
hope you will receive the foregoing in
friendly spirit, and whatever your convic-
tions may be upon great questions of nation
al interest, either foreign or domestic, that
you will not undertake to blow out the gas
on retiring, and that you will in other ways
realize the fond anticipations which are
now cherished in your behalf by mighty
people whose aggregate eye now Oh to you
BILL NYE.
P. S.-You will be little surprised, no
doubt, to find no soap in the laundry or
bath rooms 1t probably got in the cam
paign in some way and was absorbed In
ylss,de B.N.