The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1885-07-17

thought. Smith was. The clerk turne
to one of Smiths friends and saic
be Your friend is pretty full" Th
friend said he was trying to ge
Smith to go to bed, so the cler
y said to Smith, Guess you better g
s to bed" Smith raised his head
a pulled tho umbrella around and lai,
d it On the register, and said it was onl'
2 eight o'clock, inc he didn't want I,
c go to bed. The clerk looked at Smitl
and the umbrella, which was collapsed
t all over the counter, and thought 1
, was the saddest case he had seen
People gathered around and looked a
tie umbrella and Smith, and thought
he must have been out in a cyclone o!
beer. One of the friends asked the
clerk to call a porter and put Smith to
bed. The bell was rung, and Joe, the
porter, was instructed to show the
gentleman to his room. Joe saw the
umbrella and winked at the clerk, as
much as to say he had dealt with a
good many such guests in his time,
and he took Smith by the arm and
told him he had better come along
quietly to bed. and he would feel bet
ter in the morning. Smith said he
felt well enough, and did not want to
go to bed, but Joe took hold of his
arm, and at a nod from the clerk he
urged Smith along towards the eleva-
tor, the umbrella hanging all over, the
ribs sticking against Joe, catching on
the elevator door and running into the
elevator mans coat. Smith sat down
in the elevator, put the point of tie
umbrella on the floor, when it turned
wrong side out. and when they ar
rived at Smiths floor he dragged the
umbrella out by the handle. Smith
started off in an opposite direction
from his room, and Joe caught him,
and led him the other way, Smith all
the time saying he did not want to 90
to bed, he had an engagement to meet
a man at $3.50. and it was an outrage
to be dragged off to bed in a first
class hotel in the shank of the
evening. Joe tried 10 soothe him,
and finally got him in his room,
and Smith laid the umbrella on the
bed and was going to sit down on it,
when Joe grabbed it out from under
him, told him the umbrella was de-
moralized enough without being sat
On, and he egan to pull off Smiths
boots, saying, Snow, undress your
self and l will soon have you in bed
you can sleep till morning."
begged as a special favor that
Toe would go away and leave him. He
aid he could undress himself easy
and finally Joe went out and
eft him. Joe went down the elevator,
nd Smith went out Of his room and
down the stairs, and was
landing in the Office with the umbrel- {
a under his arm, talking with his /!
riends apparently Just as drunk as J
yer, when Joe came out of the eleva- G
Or. Joe looked at Smith as though L
g was a ghost, and walked around a
i'm twice before he spoke, and then s
e walked up to Smith and said, 81 $
fought l just put you to bed?" Smith I
,oked at Joe in astonishment, and
lid, 81 beg pardon, sir, but l believe,
have never met you before" Joe .
oked again at the umbrella, and at Z
NTH, and then he went up the ele- -
tor to the room to see if Smith was i
ere; Smith hurried up the stairs and +.
1t into the room, and pulled off his 9,
and was just trying to get his n,
'ots off, when Joe wrapped, and was ~
Id to come in. He opened the door, s.
W Smith and the umbrella, turned -,
lie, asked if he could be of any help, +,
ID said there was a man down in the -;
that resembled HIM a good deal, ri
ID was about as drunk, and had al
ashed his umbrella terrible. Smith 81
Id Joe he could undress, and Joe went n
t and Smith put on his coat and went In
'wn the stairs and when Joe came, br
t of the e~levaUar Smith was g.
over the register, with his UNI ov
ella hanging loose, one of the points or
the o%vercoat pocket of a stranger oee
10 vas trying to register. STAND o.
ok, please" said the clerk to Smith, Of
he pushed the register to the strang- Oh
Then turning to Joe the clerk ba
d, 81 thought l told you to put that hv
man to bed" Joe looked at ~,
nth, and his eyes stuck out, and the ~,
aspiration came out on his face as Az
told the clerk that he had put the ~,
Ter drunken man to bed, that this see
s evidently his twin brother, as he tbI
l been up to the other ones room, Re-
/ he was there all right. "Well, eic
this one to the pound, or the re- Oh,
gator, or somewhere" said the Re-
rk. At this Smiths friends began IT.
and Smith Strengthened his oh,
brella out and looked as sober as in
body, and the clerk and the porter no,
found that they had been fooled dri
a drunk and d%isorderly umbrella. the
umbrella has been quite a curios- VIII
at the hotel for several days, many wo
pectable citizens trying to borrow tic,
10 take home to fool their wives Ion
h. One gentleman said if he her
uld go home with that umbrella in ner
t shape, his wife would procure a Sed
orce. Joe said he had been fooled in /,
bod many times, but he never was sic;
taken in as he was by dat
tn and the drunk UMBRELLA kn1
IS Sun. can