Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1885-10-03
NV Last Rehearsal.

Probably the theory of evolution never
received a more practical illustration,
physically and mentally, than in my
case. For whereas L am now pOrtly,
sedate, WeIl-to-do father Of a family,
church warden, Overseer and guardian Of
my parish, some thirty years ago was a
slender harum-scarum bachelor, 1mpe-
cuniOus and ready at moments notice
for any folly which might present itself
to my excitable and meTcurial tempera-
ment. Vicious 1 certainly was not, but
merely thoughtless aud inconsiderate.
NV name is Matthews, and 1 was christ
ened Charles, after my uncle, from whom
my father had pecuniary expectations.
The late Charles Reade was undenlably
right when he said that versatility never
pays. I was a fair baritone singer, a
clever caricaturist, an admirable mimic,
and enjoyed great renOWn as an amateur
actor. Yet at the age of twenty-five 1
was entirely dependent on my father for
the necessaries of life and pocket money.
NV largest creditor at this time was my
tailor, to whom l was indebted in the
sum of ninetv-fiVe pounds four shillings
and sixpence. Unless my father stump
ed up 1 had as much chance of being
able to pay the national debt as of de-
fraying this amount. For some reason
or other my father proved unusually OBJ
do anything in the matter; 1 remember
he described his conduct as frmness.
have omitted to mention that / was In
love with a very pretty but pOrtlOnless
young lady of the name of Walker. My
father characterized this circumstance as
another sample of my thoughtlessness
and perVersity, as among my acquaint-
tances were several young ladies with
tolerable fortunes. I had a Quasi-rival
.. Of h1
name of hobbs. He was 80 very plain
and UNPLEASANT in his manners that I
entertained no fears Of being ousted by
him, aud accordingly we were very good
friends. He employed the same tailor
'(Binks) as myself, and one memorable
morning Mr. hobbs came to me and told
me that Binks had issued q writ against
me for the amount of my debt. The law
against debtors at that date was much
more stringent than 1t Is at present, and
/ determined to cave London and 60 in
to hiding for a time, until could prevail
upon my wealthy uncle to relieve me of
Binks' claim. I had a few pounds IN my
pocket. and informed hobbs that would
start at once for a small watering place
which / will here call "SeamOuth." 1
had never been there, but had heard a
good account of it from a friend who had
found it cheap, quiet and salubrlous.
In an hour had my modest portman-
teau packed with my name duly in
scribed on q brass plate thereon and
was steaming at the rate Of thirty miles
an hour for the nearest postal town to
Geamouth. When 1 left the train /
found there was a coach about to start
for Seamouth, a distance Of eight miles.
After an hours drive / was deposited at
the door Ofthe "Red Lion" I was not
much puzzled as to the choice of my
hotel. for the "Red Lion" was the only
inn In the place. SeamOuth consisted
apparently Of one long struggling street,
with a few detached houses on the out
skirts. At distance Of q hundred yards
the open sea tumbled and tossed on the
shingly beach. In ten minutes 1 felt as
If had "dOne" SeamOuth, and contem-
plated with some feeling of dismay a
lengthened residence in this secluded
spot had already secured a bed room
left my portmanteau and ordered a
steak and accessories prior to my stroll
around the place. AS 1 crossed the en-
trance hail to the cOftee-rOOm / found
myself the object of special observation
by the staff of the hotel. The rublcund
boniface saluted me with a broad grin,
the antiQuated waiter smirked IN q pc
.culiar fashion as he fastened TO open
the door to the coffee-roOm, while tn
housemaid on the stairs was much more
occupied IN studying my personal ap-
pearanCe than sweeping the csrpeted
stairs. A half-length Of what was evi-
IDENTIFY the cook peered from the re-
gions below. was about to seat myself
st one of the tables when the host ad-
vaneed, and with very deferential bow
begged that I would accept the offer Of a
private room. Anticipating my Cbjec-
ton, he went on TO saw no extra ex-
r1eurn urnuHG ha incurred in fs0uee uUeuea-
SO few minutes saw me discussing q
juicy, tender steak, some meaiy potatoes,
fanked by q tsnkard of nut-brOWn ale,
with an obseQuioGs waiter as my sole at
tendant. / determined TO write my
uncle Immediately after dinner, as my
slender purse would soon be exhausted
ia defEaying the cost Of my present lux
uFY. AZ the waiter placed an apple tart
on the table he remarked. 81 think this
Is your dEat visit 20 Geamouth, slrf' re-
Piled % Che afdEmatfVe, nlutteEtng soti0