The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1885-1888, 1885-09-11
MY FOX HUNT.

have had offers, and have refused
them. Naturally, liked certain men
better at first than after | had time to
know them really well. No man has
the sense to understand his weak points
and to hide them. They all persist in
notwithstanding you, and then when
you refuse to chain yourself up to
them and their follics they call you "a
coquct," "a heartlcss llirt," and all
that Under the circumstances insist
| should be almost as silly as they-if |
married them.
Now take the case of that young
Ehglishman | was said TO have treated
so badly and judge If | was to blame.
! met him at our tennis tournament.
| had just won the last set, and was re.
cciving the usual highly sincere con.
CALCULATIONS, when | saw Mrs. Fan
Shave bearing down on me with u
young Englishman, the latest addition
to our club.
My heart sank as he came. He was
so evidently case of "not beautiful
but good Co." lie was hideous, but |
reflected that perhaps he was like the
hpplt bNuoNs VI loils III HIS Ibul VI
arms, in which case it was distin-
guished ugliness, and | bore up. Miss
Tremaine," said Mrs Fanshawc, allow
me to present to your favorable notice
Mr.. Fox, who has come to study the
manners, or the lack of 'em, and Gus
toms in America"
Now, really" gasped Mr.. Fox, as
she cast this Parthian arrow, shes
too hard on me. BY Jovc | assure
you; Miss Trcmaine, find much more
to admire on this side"
This side of the lawn ?"
81 meant this side of the ocean, - he
returned, pityingly. "But especially
this lawn" he added, with fascinat.
ing roll of his light google eyes; I've
been anxious to meet you for a long
while, Miss Tremaine You play ten
mis- so awfully well-for-er-an Amer
lean"
Then" l rctortcd, "you think
Americans cannot compare with the
English I'
"Well, no; except in the matter of
feminine beauty" he returned, driving
out his heel and ducking his head,
which pleasing performance | after
wards found signitled mental struggle
with compliment.
at once promised myself the pleas
IRE of taking several extensive rises"
out of the youth. lie was so bcaui-
fully litcral-so English" you know.
But our 'humor, come now ~
said, with my best air of innocent
good faith. Surely you admit we
are the only nation that has n distinct
and characteristic witt"
"Well, | dunno. Suppose" he sug-
gested obviously, suppose you were
TO give me specimen ?"
Certainly" responded cheerfully
1'll take the first thing that comes in
my head. Got it out of western pa
per"
"'Tom Sawyer was warned of the
danger of smoking in a powder mill
but persisted. They collected one ear
and II button. The funeral was a
"bang-up' affair
There !" said l, triumphantly,
isn't that the quintessence of humorY'
Eyes, dcvilish good" he gasped..
There was pause. ! was falling
back for another effort. lie was eye
ing me furtively, and knew, compar-
ing me with daisy Miller" or some
international horror by James.
care you any relation to FoX's Book
of Martyrs | innocently questioned.
"Well, not exactly to the book" he
replied, with patronizing smile; "but
we claim descent from the author.
ooh p gushed, "I'm so glad I've
met you; for, you know, | always
thought his last name was Martyrs.
Like Praise God Bare Bones Alden,
Up Guards and at EN- Wellington,
Don't Give-up. Ship Lawrence and
all the rest of those old Puritans.
My English friend face was study.
His appealing nose asked of his retreat
ing eyes us this the bright Ameri-
can girl ! have heard of ?" 1t was
rich. do love to take rise" out
of such idiots,
Papa says he does not see the sense
of such jokes. simply tell lot of
enormous lies to convince credulou,
foreigners am perfect fool-whereaS
could do it more easily by just being
natural. If papa wasn't so dyspeptiC
| he would understand that it was deli
cious to see how much they would
| swallow.
However, had no time to follow up
my success that afternoon. Mamma
came hustling up, all smiles, to tell Mr..
| Fox she knew his cousin, Lord EN-
| tched. How charmed she would be tC
| have him call very soon, and lot OF
gush, Mamma is more than bit OF
an Anglomaniac. As am not left
them, partly, also, l confess, because
saw my cousin Tom glazing awfully
Tom and are cngaged-sccretly, be
cause he is so poor that we have tC
wait long time before we even tel
| papa and mamma,
Meantime we both ilirt That is SC
much better than telling and being
shelvcd. Still, | have to be careful
Tom is so jealous, so afraid, poor boy
that III get tired of waiting and take ,
better party
For fully week | saw nothing o,
Mr.. Fox, think he was digestinl
some of my facts.
Englishmen require about that time
to assimilate chaif, Then they cal
with crushing rcpartec-in Il not,
book
Finally he dropped in one Sunday
evening. Several men We're there and
we were having charades. We are ap
to have a jolly time sundays. MANN,
is an Episcopaliun and papa is broke
SO, you see, we don't have to be mar
row minded.
OF course, being English, Mr.. Fo,
misunderstood, He evidently though
we were Comanches, and adapted him
self, Nature helped him; he woul,
make splendid Zulu lie san.
in hidcous falsctto, he put cverybol,
out and then gayly, slapping Tom OF
the back, informed him that American
never could sing choruscs Tom wa
wild, had to squeeze his hand unde
n music book to paCify him,
In desperation we started more cha
rades, There again the great Fo'
came to the front assuming, unasllol