Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-03-06
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.

nation in New York. Pity it wasn't form
ed earlier, so that its resources could have .
been called into play in describing the .
present winter
A sketch of Iseult Dudley says that
when but eight years old she wrote much .
in the way of verse and romance, "but un-
luckily none of her eifusions have been
We move to amend the quot
ed clause by striking out the prefix cum
An Arab sheikh has been decorated with .
Il robe of honor for supplying the British .
with Camels and supplies. This is not the .
first time that the unsOphisticated savage |
has been cheated out of valuable commodi- /
ties by Il red blanket.
The New York Gruphtc asserts that
Gen Butler proposes to make dash
across the desert to Berber.N We Surmise
that the Grdphic is Il little mixed about
Gen Buffers whereabouts, but even if he
were to make dash across the desert"
the dash would probably look like this ::;:
Most people remember the poor, but it
almost always happens to be when their
pockets are empty.
George Bancroft the historian, still nc
cepts invitations to dine out, but frequent
" drops asleep between the courses Sleep
aids digestion.
A little Burlington boy called at Il gro
Gerry store and demanded some inferior
grandma" 1t was good while before
the dealer discovered that it was package
of "Imperial Granum" which was
wanted.
The salaries of baseball pitchers are to
be greatly reduced, the coming season.
Many ambitious college youths will wish
they had stayed at home and stuck to the
farm.
When Carl Schurz was travelling
through the South he was met, ut the
depot in Houston, Tex, by Il regiment of
militia Il brass band and citizens in car
riages. If Carl never realized what Il
great man he is it must have burst upon
him like revolution, that day.
The amateur roller skater makes the
most of every opportunity to spread him
self.
That there is "plenty of room at the
top" is very true when applied to II bald
headed man.
O'Donuvan Roesa will lecture when the
ball has been taken out of his back Now
we understand why the surgeons thought
it was best not to probe for it.
Surgeons differ in their opinions of roll
er skating, but all agree that tObOgganing
and cOaStng are eminently hcalthtul
amusements.
Newspapers worn as undertaking
keep the body warm. Patent insides are
the best.
1t recently took II passenger train seven
days to 90 from Bloomington, Ill.,, to
kankakee, in the same State. This re
minds us of good old times
The Harvard Annex for women is said
to be great success. Wait until it ac-
quires sufficient prominence to attract the
photographers and then see what becomes
of it.
Although Clevelaud's salary will be Sl31
Il day, he will not he able to keep the
wolves from his dOOr.-OUuh0 Bee.
\ western calf has four ears This is
fortunate for the calf as he Will not he
mistaken for Il dude BOStOH Post.
The cames must be Disguised with the
war in Egypt, and it is not strange that
they get their backs up about the amount
of stores they are obliged to carry.-N. y.
. PicuBpItc.
"Mamma who tore Mr. BANDS hair all
out - said little Mabie. "Iiush, child, you
bald too, you know" Yes, but want t.
know who tore Mr., BANDS hair all out
he isn't married 2''-TcrdS SittulgS.
Roller skating may be injurious to both
mind and body, as some of the doctors and
ministers say, but no one will deny that it
has been II gOdsend to the puragrap hers.-
SOHCrrUlc JOuTHui
An Arkansas woman has just married
her fourteenth husband. He is Il doomeC
au.-LUCW COUriCr.
Ionkers, y. y, has IL child with two
tongues. OF course it is II boy. Nature
knows enough not to beStOW her gift,
where they are altogether unnecessary
Boston Transcript
After doctor has saved "A patients lif,
with medicine all the neighborS rush il
with Woodcock and ava-jelly and words
} of comfort, and Kill the patient with ner
, vous excitement. Then the doctor is howl
ed down as Il quack, and every one says j
would have been all right if he hac
; only done this and that, and 50 and So
Puck.
\ pretty girl applied to the general de
livery window OF the pOstOliice, and smil
: ing at the bashful clerk, she tWittered;
is there any mail here for me -
"I-l-beg your pardon miss replied
r. the clerk, blushing in four cOlOrS all war
I ranted to wash.
!. II said, is there any mail here for me =
l she twittcred again, with Il smile.
IL don't know miss I'll ask some o
the other boys. I'd like to be, but you
: come too late, for I'm already bespoke b.
| another girl.
y The postmaster gave the young man
! few lessons before he let him take charg
t of Il window agaln.-Mcrchdut TrdrcIlCr
+ There was man in our town, and h
was wonderous wise, for when he mark
t ed his prices down, he then did advel
= tiSe.
; And when he saw his trade increase
with all his might and main, he marke
n still lower every price, and advertise
Il again,
a And when he advertised again, hi
e rivals stamped and swOre, to see folks rus
$ with might and main, to patronize thu
e store.
e And when they sat in solitude and sa
o him custom bring, that man behind ii
It counter stood and raked the shekels in.
And when he raked the shekels in, an
/ saw his fortune rising, he took Il goodl
l. lot of tim and kept on advertising
q Each day a genuine sum he'd seek, an