Connecticut western news., 1885-01-14
WIT AND WISDOM.

down. he can never wind it up with a whis.key.
 WHILE her mother was taking a fly out of the butter little Daisy askod' 'Is that butterfly, mammal"
 A WESTERN paper delivers this short lecture on woman: "Woman is superior to man where he is inferior to she"
 ONE of a troop of performing Indians at dime museum owns up to tho name of Ryan. He must be the Ryan Indian bred we hear about.
 "No, NDEED" exclaimed MrA Pode- man, energetically. "I don't believe in the extension of woman's suffrage at all. She suffers enough now"
 THERE are men who would dio rather than eat their soup from the end of their spoon but who would lie like Ananias upon the slightest provocation.
 THERE is glacier in Alaska moving along at the rate of a quarter of mile a year. In this country we have no gla- ciers, but we have messenger boys.
 A LITTLE girl objected to being an angel because she then would have to give up all her pretty playthings and fine dresses Co wear feathers like hen.
 LITE is real and girls are earnest,
 It they can't get what they like
 TafIy. cream and kindred goodies,
 They will organize q strike.
 -chiodgo S'uA
 'g DO LOVE dressl" exclaimed an old society belle. "Then should think you would wear more of it." retortod the cynical bachelor friend of middle age.
 AN old maid in Nashville keeps a par rot which swears, md a monkey which chews tobacco. She says between tho two she doesn't miss husband very much.
 ECONOMY is defined by the Norristown Herald as paying ten cents for a cigar and compelling your wiFe to turn her last season's dress to make it do another winter"
 THE American colony of awindlers in Canada has been increased by two new members, but they are not regarded aa much of an acquisition as they have only about Sl00,o0o between them.
 IT is pointedly remarked by an eH- change that the work of the two branches of Congress recalls the industry of the two boys, one of whom was doing noth- ing and the other was helping him to do it.
 IF there ever was any reason to quca- lion where the CAtskill region got it's name, the appearance of wild cats in that neighborhood helps to furnish a New Years story and to verify tho title.
 SOMETHING happened to nlc yester. Hay that will never happen 10 me again if live to be a thousand years old, ;" re. marked Gilhooly 10 Gus De Smith. Whats that9" "I was forty years nld. "-- Teras Sifting&
 BRnATHEs there man with soul SO dead, who never to himself hath said, "IT go md paint the city red 2" and when the inky night has fed, rose from his hard mud painful bed, md said, "oh, heavens, what head l" l Eaor1sM is more like m offence than crime; though 'ts allowable to speak of yourself, provided nothing is ad- yaneed in favor; but I cannot help eus- pecting that tbo1e who abuse themselves nrc, in reality, angling for appreciation.
 A NUMBER of young writers, rcserving all rights, have their contributions Co obscure journals copyrighted, and are remaining charmingly unknown. To become famous q young man must have his work stolen and copied in all diroc- tions.
 SCIENCE marches steadily forward with inc torch Of progress, clearing up inc mysteries of yesterday, and bringing tbose of tomorrow dimly into view, but she stands palsied in all her efforts to make out what it is that chews of the brim of boys hat
 IT is the young lady with the brand new sealslxin who is ever remnrkng, "How awfully cold it is i' while her less fortunate sister, with nothing but . summer jacket, is "iust suffering from tue heat" though the thermometer be twenty degrees below zsro.
 SHE-" "There is no danger of your fail- ing, is there, dear ? You have SO many friends, and they are 90 warmly at' taehed to you." He-''Yes, but the deuce of it is, don't you know, that they will probably transfer their attachment to the house and furniture"
 Ar party in Harlem on New Year's eve young lady began Q song, "The Autumn days have come. Ten thou sand leaves are falling" She began too high. "Ten thousand !" she screamed and stopped. Start her at five thou sand l' cried an nuctioncer present
 IF Satan ever laughs it must be at hypocrites; they are the greatest dupcs he has; they serve him better than any others, but receive no wages; nay, what is still more extraordinary, they submit to greater mortiications Co go to hell than the sinccrest Christian to go Co heaven.
 AM NO well-bred people a mutual def orcncc ia affected; contempt for olhcr' disguised; authority eorcealedi atien' tion given to each in his turn, and on easy stream of conversation maintained, without vehemence, without inictrup lion, without cagemrs' for victory, and without any airs of n vrioriiy.
 AN intrepid eonrass K al best hu' holiday kind ol virtue, to be seldom cH ercised, and nev, lut in cases of ncccs sity. AfIability, mildness, tendolrcn"