Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1885-05-27
GETTING II READY.

GETTING n READY.
4 good old Kentuckian, who has been
awaiting twenty-five years for post
cfice, owns . fine dog, which is his con-
slant companion. The other day the
dog had been having . run in the sun
shine and was resting on the porch with
his tongue hanging ont.
ssThat's boss dog, said Q travelling
man, who had been selling the old man
q bill Of goods.
"You're right he is" said the old
''Wihat makes him stick bis tongue
ont that way ?"
ssPolitics."
ePolitics? How ?"
s'Why, sir, that dog knows Cleveland
Is elected. and he knows I want q post
Office, and he's got his tongue out, ready
to begin licking the stamps. ~ Merchant
Traveller.
ANOTHER NAME ron n.
A chap from the back counties who
was drinking too much beer and making
TOO much noise on Grand River avenue
recently was collared by an officer and
invited TO promenade down, but before
the procession had moved ten feet he
offered the policeman fifteen cents to let
him go. The offer was gradually In
creased, as the pair travelled ahead, to
forty cents, but at this point the officer
called ont:
Don't you know that attempting to
bride an officer is penal offence r.
''Thash so !" gasped the prisoner IN
great establishment. "Shay, let's call 1t
. railroad pass, same as they do in the
Legislature. - Detroit Free Press.
A SURE ROAD TO FAME.
Father-My son, you are now laying
the foundation Of your future career. !
hope you viii study hard and make your
mark in the world.
Son Yes, father, that is my intention.
In few years my name viii be known
to all civilized nations. My fame viii
be spread throughout the land, and ]
will be classed among the great men Of
the country.
Father-A noble ambition, my son.
But what profession have you chosen
that win so soon lead TO oil this great
ness2
son--I shall become q pugilist.
Rhila. Call.
HOW I'm GOT HIS TITLE
"Were you actively engaged In the
late war ?" asked a stranger in Austin OF
Gen. JEFF Brakeman.
"Oh, yes I was very actively en-
gagged in shipping cotton to Europe dur
ing the wal"
ssThan, how did you come TO be called
General r"
'sWell, you see, made money during
the war, and afterward the boys came
home poor, and wanted TO borrow q
little money. / generally loaned il to
them, and that is how / came to be
called General, and it has stuck 10 me
ever since. - 7s1us Sittings.
DIDN'T EXPECT TO FIND FEArHERs.
She was playfnIly feeling in his vest
pocket, and he asked:
HWhat are you seeking, darling9"
ssOh, nickel, or . quarter or q dol
lar-anything. she replied.
ssWhy, said he, ''you do not expect
to find feathers on . hog, do you 2"
And she answered, with the most IN
nocent smile and naive expression:
sNo, dear Walter, I was not looking
for feathers"
And he refuses TO 60 back until he
knows whether she meant anything per
sonal OF not. .ArkansaaO Traveller.
a sURR TEST.
I'm my opinion, animals are color
blind.
sI don't believe a.
ssI do. I've been trying some expert.
nenss which convinced me that none OF
our domestic animals can distinguish
Colora."
cry another, and yOu'u change yOur
mind"
"What's that 2"
ssRobe yourself in red shawl and
walk through q feld where . bull is
grazing - Chicago Ledger
COTTAGE.
a Frenchman who had returned from
lecture was asked If the lecturer bad .
good house.
ssWkat you mean
ibid he have large houseT'
ssAh, no; only small cottage.
It Vas afkerward asceEtained that e.
here were only about twenty people in