Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1885-08-07
PASSING EVENTS

When the heart Is full the lips arc
silent; when the man is full it is diff
ferent.
The girl who is looking for place
N church choir must have the key
to the situation.
a Pittsburgh. Mass, couple who had
been married thirty-three year. were
recently divorced.
According to wise medical practi-
toner, smoking is more likely to cause
cancers than chewing.
Two colts one mule and one horse
were recently foaled by a mare in
Yolo county, California.
A Beaver county, Pennsylvania,
baby's name is Grover Cleveland
Thomas Hendricks Reich.
Grasshoppers are causing consider
ablo damage to fruit in tho vineyards
of Tehama county, California.
California fruit-growers are intro
ducing negroes To be substituted for
Cinnamon in the orchards and vine
yards.
A poet SAYS: Woman is the Sunday
of Man" lie probably had Eve in
his mind, as she was the beginning of
the weak.
The war department has decided
that officers shall not be given staff
places on any but professional
grounds.
A turnip closely resembling an ele-
plant is on exhibition at Key West.
A man closely resembling a beat can be
seen almost anywhere.
Someone says: "a play must have
motive Most of them have, and
it Esems to be to get people to pay
Sl.50 to see 20 cent show.
che president kissed pretty little
ported that 1.-The smack of his lips
could be heard all over the east ROOM"
The summer has come DO not
keep little children penned up indoors,
fearing fresh AR will give them colds,
or the sunshine spoil their complex
ions. Turn the rascals out.
Noticed anything fresh to-day"
asked the dude as he strolled into the
editorial room. Nothing until you
dropped in," replied the editor, care
lessly, and there was no more said.
There is one thing dread" re-
marked Henderson, land that is a
premature burial" Don't worry
about that" replied Fogg, "the thing
is impossible. There is no danger of
your being buried too soon.
Street-cars in New York, Albany,
aud Washington are 10 be moved by
compressed air The air chambers
are under the cars, which can be run
az the rate of twenty-five miles an
hour, and can be stopped at once.
A statement recently promulgated
contains the terrifying news-to bust
ness men-that mercantile agencies
have established a rule of verifying a
mans financial standing by his state
ment to the Unsuitable tax assessor.
The Bar harbor which first won no.
tice by Its peculiar wildness of nature,
has become the Bar harbor of modern
improvements, where the "heart of
nature can be felt beating through
telephone wires, railroads, and other
devices of man.
A farmer and his wife went into q
dentists. "How much do YOU charge
for filling teoth?' asked the farmer.
From ~ TO So - And for pull
ingP' Fifty cents" Marian" he
SAID, turning to his wife, you'd bet
ter get it pulled
"l've got another, my dear" said
Mr.. Podsnap, rushing in to supper.
well, what is it?' replied Mrs. Pod
snap, sharply. "Who was maid first,
Adam or Eve?' why, Eve, of course.
you simpleton. heard that month
ago
A couple of little girls requested
permission to attend ST. Paul church,
in neighboring city, and their moth
er, having given her consent. was sur
prised to find her daughters at home
soon after the services began. why,
girls, she exclaimed, what brought
you home so early?' "Why, mother,
it is all oveT-we went TO church, and
St. Paul came in his night-robes and
kneIt do%~S-ta.ay his prayers before
going to bed, and so Tc ->..S,ne nome.