The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-05-12
THE SPOTS ON THE SUN.
BILL NYE CANDiDLY SAYS HE CAN'T
EXPLAIN THEM.
Open Air Caucuses Held in the Sun.
Speculative Science Filled with
the IntangibIe-A Train Boy
Aged Sixty.
IOriginal.l

This luminous body is 81, O00, 900 miles from
the earth, though there have been mornings
this winter when it seemed to me that it was
further than that. A railway train going at
the rate of 40 miles per hour would be 263
years going there, to say nothing of stopping
for fuel or water, or stopping on side tracks
to wait for freight trains to pass. Several
years ago it was discovered that slight error
had been made in the calculation of the suns
distance from the earth, and owing to a mis-
placed Iogarithm, or something of that kind,
a mistake of 5000 900 miles was made in the
result. People cannot be too careful i'll
such matters. Surprising that on the
strength of the information contained
in the old time table man should start out
with only provisions sufficient to take him
SO 900, 900 miles, and should then find that
100000 miles still stretched out ahead Of
him He would then have to buy fresh figs
of the train boy in order to sustain life.
Think of buying nice fresh figs on a train
that had been en- route go years.
Imagine a train boy starting out at ten
years of age and perishing at the age of go
years with only one-fifth of his journey ac-
complished Think of five train boys one
after the other, dying of old age on the way,
and the train at last pulling slowly into the
depot with not living thing on board except
the worms in the mice eating applesp
The sun cannot be examined through an
ordinary telescope with impunity. Only one
man ever tried that, and he is now wearing
glass eye that cost him 50.
If you examine the sun through an ordi-
nary solar microscope, you discover that it
has a curdled or notified appearance, as
though suffering from biliousness. 1t is also
marked here and there by long streaks Of
light called faculae, which look like foam
aecks below a cataract. The spots on the sun
vary from minute pores the size of an ordi-
nary school district to spots 100000 miles in
diameter, Visible to the nude eye. The centre
Of these spots is as black as a brunette cat,
and is called the umbra, so called because it
resembles an umbrella. The next circle is
less dark, and called the penumbra, because
it so closely resembles the penumbra.
There are many theories regarding these
spots, but to be perfectly candid with the
gentle reader, neither Prof Proctor nor ny~
self can tell exactly what they are. If we
could get little closer, we hatter ourselves
that we could speak more definitely. My
own theory is they are either, first, open air
caucuses held by the colored people of the
sun; or second, they may be the dark horyss
in the campaign; or third they may be une
spots knocked off the defeated candidate by
the opposition.
Frankly, however, do not believe either
of these theories to be tenable. Prof. Proctor
sneers at these theories also on the ground
tn : these spots do not appear to revOlve 50
fast as the sun. This, however, I am pre-.
pared to explain upon the theory that this
might be the result of delays in the returns.
However, am free to confess that specula-
tive science is filed with the intangible.
The sun revolves upon his or her axletree,
y as the case may be, once in % to % of our
days, so that man would have almost TIVE
years to pay S0-day note We should SO
live that when we come to die we may 60 at
once to the sun.
Regarding the suns temperature, Sir John
Herschel says that it is sufficient to melt q
she'll of ice covering its entire surface to
depth of 40 feet. do not know whether he
made this experiment personally or hired
man to do it for him.
The sun is like the star spangled banner-as
it is ''still there" You get up tomorrow morn
ing just before sunrise and look away toward
the east, and keep on looking in that direction,
=
have been told is true If the sunrise is as
grand as the sunset it must indeed be one e
natures most sublime phenomena.
The sun is the great source OF light and
heat for our earth. If the sun were to go
SOM where for few weeks for relaxation
and rest it would be cold day for us The
moon, too, would be useless, for she is largely
dependent on the sun. Animal life would
soon cease and real estate would become de-
pressed In price. We owe very much of our
enjoyment to the sun, and not many years
ago there were a large number of people who
worshiped the sun. When a man showed
signs of emotional insanity they took him up
on the observatory of the temple and sacri-
feed him to the sun. They were very pros
porous and happy people. If the conquerOr
had not come among them with civilization
and guns and grand juries they would have
been very happy indeed. BILL NYE.
HUDSON, Wis, Feb. II.