davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03

The numerous "saNdustn schemes
which have come to light recently,
says the New York Tribune, have
caused no small amount of talk with
reference to them, both in the streets
and business resorts. The other day
Ormond G. Smith, of the New York
Weekly, while seated ia his business
office, told the following story sbou.
Josh Billings and his experience with
two clever rogues who endeavofed TO
work their little game on him:
Josh was great student of human
nature. He liked nothing better than
20 watch the different faces OF large
crowd when greatly excited over some-
thing more than usual; and he was
always able to draw some philosophic
Inference from the study, which,
when uttered in his dry, humorous
way, seemed the more impressive.
He was not always particular ia his
dress, and one day while walking on
Broad he was accosted by a we'll
dressed fellow who took him for a
countrymau.
Morton, my dear fellow, said he,
how are you2'
i guess you are mistaken in your
man, amt your replied Josh, In an
innocent tone Of voice.
"'Why. amt you Timothy Morton,
Of Syracuse}
No. I'm James w. Bailey, Of
Rochester
"The young man looked confused,
begged his pardon, and then politely
took his leave. A couple of blocks
further on be met his companion, who
after short talk, followed Josh and
met him on the next corner.
why, how do you do, Mr.. Bailey
How's rything in Rochester, was
his ELUSIVE greeting.
i guess you are mistaken in your
man. amt your was JosAs quite re
ply.
Why. amt you James w. Bal
ley, of Rochester,"
No. I'm Timothy Morton, Of
Syracuse.
THE would be confidence man fell
that he had caught a Tarter, and
without even making an apology he
skunk away into the crowd"
Train robbers are becoming so plen
tiful in Italy as to attract the notice o.
the government. They are said TO bt
under the control of s man who onc'
lived in the u nited States.
Ex-Governor Washburn says tina
Lislie Smith, political orator of tn
1860 campaign, was The first man wh'
called Abraham Lincoln "Oid Abe.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03

a motion to stop the train and we
Gowned brakes without whistliDg. for
we were afraid 10 brighten off that
cow. One of the brakeman had tin
butter kettle, AID that had beed scour-
ed clean. OFF started Hiram on a run.
For a strange man to get to close
quarters with a strange COW is no easy
matter. Hiram B. was evidently a
master in the art of cow corralling.
At first the COW seemed to AVOID Hir-
am. She turned and doubled, and we
we're afraid he would lose her. We
could all see the COW stalking from
the cars, and the excitement was in
tense. Hiram B. managed things
beautifully. Maybe she was a provi-
Dental COW. He was bold, yet con
cilatory. At last Hiram, after
quarter of an hours hard
work, cornered the COW. What
if she were dry2 No; she
wasn't There was Hiram B. on his
knees, working away on the COW for
dear life. We all waved our banker
chiefs to him and the cow. At last he
seemed TO have drained the COW dry.
4utTo were lbuSco W CAlu1Ds ana SODt
of them barbed-wire ones. What if
he should drop his batter kettle or spill
its precious contents2 Finally he
reached the cars, never was hero
more warmly greeted; even the con
ductor was pleasant to him. The men
cried themselves hoarse, and some ofthe
women cried, they were that excited,
One old lady just smothered Hiram
B. Stebbins with kisses. Anyhow
that poor baby got his fill Of good,
sweet, fresh milk, stopped crying, and
came throagh safe"
"No sequeli" asked some of the lis
teners.
mot that 1 knowed of. Hiram
didn't marry the pretty girl who was
taking care of the baby. 1 met him
three weeks ago going north from At
lanta. He was still travelling in
feathers and women ixings lie gave
me kind of surly nod-the oldest
old rough diamond you ever 'skeered
I'M
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03
DANCER IN DIMPLES.
The Distressing LishRP of Young
Lady who sought TO Enhance Her
Beauty.
Philadelphia News

a young lady we'll known in society
circles. where she is shining light
and general favorite, is just now suf-
fering the punishment of her vanity
in regard to he existing feminine
crazs for dinples. Ia seeking to
acquire, by artificial means, those
hollow caves. those round, enchanting
pits" with which nature has not en-
lowed her beauty, she has probably
become some what 1lshgured for life.
she is a charming blonde, and her
mishap will evoke sincere regret
among her large circle Of friends
About a year ago an exceedingly
suave Young man, calling himself
Prof. King, arrived in Philadelphia
from Boston. He took up his quarters
in fashionable boat dunghouse on
Spruce street, aud had his name taste
fully engraved or polised brass plate
on the door. lie had a splendid suite
OF rooms. Within few days he sent
out a number of confidential circulars
among society ladies de undertook
to produce perfectly natural looking
/ dlmples on any ladys cheek for $40 a
pair. He secured large patronage
+ for his peculiar work. Society ladies
could be found al any period OF ihe
day in his magnificent waiting room.
! The dimple factory was success, and
the dear delightful yoang man became
quite as great favorlte as the cham
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03
IN ARCADIA.
THE CENTURY.


Because / choose TO keep my seat
Nor Join the giddy dancers Wn,Hii
pray you do not laugh, my gut
Nor ask me why md II sweet
In my old age 10 Watch your gree
J. too have been n Already
And though full wen know seem
Ouite out Of place IN Genes IKE lhls'
Won can Z imagine how much bliss
II aives me lust 10 SIT end dream,
A. your fair form goes fiyting by,
How /, too. dWet in Already
For. sweetheart iH your merry eyes
A vanished summer buds and blows,
Ard with the same bright cheeks OF rose
see q our mother imaEs rise,
And DER a long and and weary track
NV buried boyhOCd wanders back
And as with tear dimmed eyes cast
on your swe form my swimming glance
think your mother used 70 dance
Just as YOU DO, in that dead past
Long years ago,-yes, htty- thrte-
When l too, dWeit in Already.
And in the music's laughing notes
/ seem To hear old voices ring
That have ben hushed, all. many spring
And round about me family floats
The acho n a me ody
used 10 hear In Already.
And yonder youth-uay, do not blush
The boy his father Ger again
And hark We Miss J was not PLAN
When at his age-wbat must hushg
He's coming this way Yes, see
You two yet dwelt in Already
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03
A Fathers Advice.
Pittsburg Telegraph


yes, you can marry my daughter,
said sensible Philadelphia father 70
a pleading swain. Eyes, I've no o.
iections whatever to the marriage
provided you intend to elope with
her
But why elope if you give your
consent2' asked the soon-.o-be sou-In-
law in surprise. !,
Because, replied rhe practical
father, that is the easiest way OF gel
ting rid of the expenses of a hand
some bridal costume for her ana an
expensive wedding at my house 20
it, nv bov: get married slyly and
uietly. I can not afford to pay FOR
ny fuss, and neither can you. Inc
money most bridal couples spend io5
flowers and wedding-cake IS needed
for bread before the first year rolls
around
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03
Care of Watches.

The following advice as to cara
watches, is gwen by practical iawoI
er, and will be interesting to Al aI
own or carry time pieces: "Ho
Perhaps taere e more fruitful cam.
OF the lad action of good gatcSses
than dusty and, oftentime. f IIes
pockets. There is. perhaps, not n,o.y
thar one person IN ten, when ~
lakes his watch to the repairer IN hoe ne
it examined, but expresses profo~rS
establishment When shown that ~
pride of his pocket is locked with aS
''alluvial deposit" or textile fabri.
"W ny" they say, my watch cass
shuts absolutely tight; l don't sse
how anything could get into it." w
Well, ii is but far to admit that n
cases 1t Is a problem. But, what arc
we to say in the face of facts. wbsr
on taking the movement from tho
case and holding it over a piece ~
white paper there falls upon it dnst
readily to De seen9
Probably the best way to keens
watch clean is to keep the pockst
clean and TO do that the watch
should be carried ia an upner
vest pocket, and have plenty of ronnd
holes, worked like round buttonhoies
in the lower corners; and better vet
have your pocket made of a firm net
Here is grand chance for some Of
our clothiers to introduce this sort Of
pocket. Now about winding watches
Hold the watch still, particularly SO
if tits key-winder. Don't wind the
key A very bad habit is to wind
both. By twirling the watch back
and forth, you increase the motion Of
the balance in the arc, causing the
ruby PIN to strike the lever on its ont.
side edge, and thereby snap it off
For the same reason, when watch
stops, twirl it very gently, -and then
if it does not 60 on, stow it away or
have it repaired.
When winding q watch or clock
see that the key has a close Fl. and
that it slides clear on to the square
else you will round the corners of the
arbor and key; then wbiz it goes, and
you and the clock both have received
a shock that will last you through the
day.
Do not blow in the key, as no one
probably ever succeeded in blowing
out particle of dust, and there are
very few people who can blow into
key without wetting it; once wet,
you have a rusty arbor, to the extent
of being serious injury 10 the wind
ing parts.
A finely constructed watch, barring
violent usage and neglect, may be in
its prime at the age of fifty or even
three-score and-ten, and have been
running all the time. But this one
thing IS certain; no matter how fine
a watch you may have, you can only
get the best results by being syste-
matte in your treatment of it, 1t is a
we'll Known fact that in changing the
position of a watch you change its
rate. Therefore, it shonl& be regu~
lated to some chosen position by day
and by night. 1t makes but little
difference whether it hangs up by
night, or lies down; but if you hang
it up by night, hang it up every
night.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03
REL REPORTED ALIVE.
He Is Seen on the Saskatchewan
Substitute Hanged I'm His Place.

A correspondent at Brandon, N. w.
T. sends out surprising story in re-
gard to Rel It's truth is not vouch-
ed for, but it is sent in good faith, and
is as follows: Silence the execution of
Louis Rel, on Nov. 18th, rumors of
every conceivable description have
been ahost, popular among which is
one that Rel was seen in person on
the north bank of the Saskatchewan
on Wednesday last in company with
a person answering the description of
Gabriel Dumont, and there is strong
suspicion ia the minds of many that
LOUIS Rel, whom the government
calls rebel" and the Opposition a
"poltroon," is now living and breath
ing the free air of the Northwest, and
that he who paid the penalty on the
scaffold was a clever and generous.sub-
stitute in the person of one of the con
demned prisoners at the Regina Jail.
Be this as it may, there are great
many speaking out who before the ex-
ecut,on were silent, and their express
ed opinions are that the Dominion
Government and not Louis r ell was
the cause and effect of the late Sas-
ketchewan rebellion, and to it alone
is due the punishment which it has
already melted out and is netting out
TO the half-oreeds and Indians ia that
district. There are large number of
half breed families in the Sasketche-
wan District who have not a house to
live in, nor even clothing to keep them
half comfortable during the winter
These people were comfortably circum-
stanced before the rebellion. but their
goods were destroyed by Middleton
soldiers by order of the government
at Ottawa.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03
lie Wasn't Acquainted.

Miss Clara (to young Featheriyl-
Mamma and l were discussing 8 Ger
tam rule of table etiquette just before
you came in, Mr. Featherly Mamma
thinks it is perfectly proper to take
the last piece OF bread on the plate,
while I contend that to do so is vio-
latDg rule as fixed as the laws Of
the Modes and Persiana. You must
decide for US MIR Featherly.
Mamma-Yes, Mr. Featherly, please
do So
Mr. Featherly-We li-er-really,
ladies, you place me in q some hat
embarrassing position. You see. |
am only slightly acquainted with the
Meades, and I've never even met the
Persiaas.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03

ing productions of his peculiar art. He
was very handsome and very gentle
manly and dressed TO kill, while he
was a captivating talker, having a
rich musical baritone, voice, over
which he had absolute control,
The foolish maiden visited him about
six weeks ago. Prof. KING explained
to her the process OF 'dimpliug," and
claimed that it wSs harmless and pain
less. Whatever misgivings she had
were conquered and she submitted 10
the operation She paid the fec of
$40 in advenc5, aud was taken into an
ante room and seated n g plush color
ed chair resembling that Of a dentist
Then she was told to smile. She did
so. The next moment she uttered a
scream, and Jumping from the chair
would have fed from the room ont
that the professor" detained her.
My dear miss" he said, you
must not be frightened. 1t is merely
a scarcely preceptible prick on either
cheek"
Both the girls cheeks were bleed
ing. With pair Of forceps the pro
lessor" had cut a minute portion Of
the skin and underlying flesh from
either cheek at the center of the re-
quired dimple.
The young lady, after much persua-
sion, Gained herself, while the pro
fessor" applied some balsam to the
wound to stop the bleeding. This
done, he washed away the blood and
covered the puncture with a small
piece of court-plaster, which, when he
had finished, was invisible. This was
the preliminary treatment, and he di-
rected the petient TO call early the next
dsv.
Notwithstanding the application of
the healing ointment the lady f0and
her cheek rather painful She could
not sleep that night, and the next
morning her face was considerably in
famed. she became alarmed and
hurried TO see Prof King. He ap-
peared somewhat discounted when
he saw her After a microscopical
examination of the puncture in her
left cheek his blandness returned.
do not be alarmed" he said. II
assure you 1t is nothing. Simply
wien applied the forceps you started
and the result was hat the forceps cut
deeper than [ intended. / will treat
the wound now, and you shall be all
right again"
But the professors treatment, while
it mid the wound, failed to reduce the
sewelling, and his reassuring suavity
was Insufficient to allay tue young
lady's distress. She hurried straight
to the family physician and stated the
case to him. The doctor removed the
court-plaster and examined the dim
pie bed"
The rascal has produced dimple
that will last all your hfe," he said,
"but ] don't think it is one which will
enhance you sroile. The forceps near
ly pierced through the cheek. As the
flesh has been removed scar viii re-
MAN.
The wound has now healed, and,
true to the doctors prediction, dis
figured, star-like scar remains. On
the right cheek, however, there is a
beautiful dimple The doctor en-
deayored by every means to avlod the
scar, but failed. The skin is so con
tracted IS to remove the scalp when
the unfortunate lady speaks. She
has naturally been very much annoy
I'd by the mishap, and fears as much
the ridicule which her act may call
forth, as the Disagreement.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-12-03
Think of a Number.

Tell your neighbor to think OF any
number he likes. but not to tel you
what it is Tell him then to double
it; when he has done that, let Dlln
add an even number to it, which you
yourself must give him; after dong
this he must halve the whole; then
from what is left take away the mum
Der he first thought Of When ne
shall arrive so far, If his calculations
have all been made correctly, you
will be able to give him the exact re-
mainder. which will simply be the
half of the even ndmber you told him
70 add 10 his own.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-06-28
AN IMPORTANT DECREE.
Judge Woods Orders the Sale of the Lake
Erie & Western Road.

A decree was issued in the United States
Court yesterday by Judge Woods, in the case Of
George ]. McGourkey against the Lake Erie &
Western railway ordering the sale Of the road
to SATISFY judgment given the plaintiff on April
25 1885. 1t is concurrent with a similar decree
issued in the Northern districts of Ohio and ILL
nois On April % McGourkey was given
judgment for $3.50, S26 &c and upon his petition
a receiver for the road was appointed. The line
extends from Sandusky, o., to Bloomington,
ILL.,, distance of 3s7 miles, and is encountered
about ST. 500, 900. The average annual earnings,
it is claimed, are about 81, 100000 McGourkey,
by the judgment which was given him, obtained
lien. The decree directs w. F. Goodspeed, the
United States marshal for the Northern district
of Ohio, to make the sale, and the Produce Ex-
change in Toledo is designated as the place
where the sale shall be made.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-06-28
THE PHILADELPHIA ENCAMPMENT.
Departure Of the Light Infantry and Artil.
lery Companies Yesterday Afternoon.

The indianapolis Light Infantry and Light
Artillery companies left over the l., B. & w.
road yesterday afternoon, ATLAS o'clock. for Phil
Adelphia, to attend the national military encamp-
ment The Infantry company, being recently
withdrawn from the State service and organized
under the authority of the Metropolitan Police
Commissioners, were escorted from their armory
10 the Union Depot by the entire police force,
headed by band. They presented a
good appearance on the streets, and
che friends of the company are confident that it
will return from the encampment with prize.
The two companies were accompanied on the
"trip by a number of citizens, among whom were
the following-named persons: George S. Web
Harry Fowler and wife, Charles Schafferi Bert
Brown, H. 0. McVey, H. r. Palmer, John Car
Ion, George Rhodius, Charles Murray and wife,
Edward VanCamp, F. r. Drake, Sydney Dyer
and wife, George L. Breunig. c. S. Roney,
Miss O'Neil, w. D. Cooper, Mr.. and Mrs. Nc
Cullom, Mr.. and Mrs. Krumire, H. @. Rogers,
George B. Cooley, Il. f. Adams, w. F. Church
man, Henry Frank and wife, Fred Adams, 7. A.
Randall and wife, John Collins, John Hedges,
Agnes Jordan, Mrs. McNorton, William Hiatt.
j. c. Hood and wife and w. N Hanna. The
party will reach Elmira this evening, and they
will remain there over night, leaving to morrow
morning over the Lehigh Valley road, and
reaching Philadelphia about 10 o'clock at night.
Governor Gray, accompanied by his military
staff and Adjutant general Koontz, will start
from here on the morning Of July 2, and will
remain at the encampment until the close He
will go over the Pennsylvania road in the pri-
vate Car of President McKeen, Of the Vandalia,
and the j. r. Miller Grenadiers, of Richmond,
will accompany him as q military escort.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-06-28
THE CHURCHES TO-DAY.

Rev. I. z. Taylor, Of Kansas City, will preach
morning and evening at the Central Christ ian
Church.
Rev. ]. w. Conner, of Rushville will preach
at the Third Christian Church, morning and
evening.
There will be no preaching at the United
Presbyterian Church, owing to the illness of the
pastor. Rev. j. P. Cowan.
The Rev. Willis D. Engle will officiate at
Grace Episcopal Church to-day, the Rev. A.
Prentice being in Columbus.
Rev DR.. Doddridge, of Fletcher place Church,
will preach at Central avenue M. K. Church this
morning; DR.. Marine in the evening.
Mrs. Billheimer, of Dayton, O., returned
will conduct the morning service at the First
United Brethren Church.
Rev r. " Hunter will preach at the Seventh
Presby terrain Church, morning and evening.
Morning subject, Learning OBEDIENCE" even
ing subject, Religion Practiced"
At the German Evangelical Church Miss Myra
Scheurmann, of Chicago, will hold gospel
services at $3.50 P. NJ and 7:45 P. NJ The services
will be in English. The church is at the corner
of New York and East streets.
Rev. Oscar C. McCulloch, at the Plymouth
Congregational Church, will preach morning and
evening Morning subject. The Christian Idea
Carlyle, the Man and his Work"
At 8 o'clock this evening" at!the Fifth Pres
byterian Church the Indianapolis Presbytery
will meet to ordain Mr.. j. E. Brenn. Rev t. D.
Hay, d. D. will preside, Rev. III. A. Edison D. D.
will preach the sermon. Rev. j. r. Mitchell
viii deliver the charge. Other ministers will
take part in the services.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1885-06-28
INDIANA TRUST And SAFE DEPOSIT COMPANY,
40 East WASHINGTON Street.


Safe deposit vaults afford ample protection to
parties who have valuables of any kind which
they may wish made more secure, and, at the
same time, subject to their control. The work
for our vaults has been done in the most care
full and thorough manner by Halls Safe and
Lock Company, of Cincinnati For the better
information Of those who are not familiar with
the system, the following explanation is given:
Iron boxes are made in cases Of over one humid
REQ each, all firmly built together, each one coz
tanning tin box, which can be taken out and
filed by the renter, in private room provided
for that purpose. These cases are placed in a
fire and burglarproof vault, which is kept con-
stantly locked, and only opened on the appl lea
ton of renter who may wish to gain access to
his box. Each box has duplicate keys no two
sets being alike. There is an escutcheon which
covers the lock to the box, and this is kept
closed.
When a renter wishes to use his box he must
apply to this Office, and the vault will be UNI
locked and the escutcheOn to the box also. The
keys can then be inserted by the renter and
when he has done with his tin box it is placed
again in the inside and the outside box locked
by him, the escutcheon locked, and cannot be
again opened without the presence of the renter,
and one representing this Office. This, in brief,
is the system.
We shall be pleased to have calls from parties
who wish to more fully understand the matter,
and prompt attention will be paid them.
A Waterman is. at hand at night. Prices Of
boxes range from S. to 500 year according to
the SIZE The Office will be kept open for the &C
commodation of parties renting boxes from s
A. M. to p NJ.
Foreign exchange on all parts Of the world is
for sale. Collections will be made at all accessi-
BILE points, and interest allowed on deposits sub
Ject to check or payable at stated periods.
JOSEPH A MOORE, President