The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1885-08-27
WIT AND HUMOR.


I give Us each a dollar we are not TO lose
/ it on our way home"
A young lady on Prospect Hill, the
+ other day, was sure she heard rattle
snake, but on investigation found the
/ noise was caused by box OF pills rat
Ting in ner pocket WeStfe!d (Nass.)
| Times
| In James epistIe we read: Doth q
| fountain send forth at the same place
/ sweet water and bitter?" Ii james
referred to the soda-fountain We an
swer yes, unhesitatingly.- Boston
4 TRANSCRIPT
| Compressed gas" is to be used for
/ lighting railroad cars. We don't see
how it can be any more compressed
/ than it is now in an ordinary meter,
which apparently holds. several cubic
/ yards to the fcot.-LoWeH Courier.
/ Nothing so piques thrifty woman's
curiosity and enrages her as to have a
/ newsboy fleet adown the street about
/ II: 80 a. N. believing: '.Eresyerextry!
/ Turble woggie woggle loo! All bout
/ the splision n death at eresyerextry.
PHILADELPHIA Record.
4 colored waiter at a Summer hotel
/ who had wandered off for walk came
back with his eyes bullying out in terror
/ at a snake he had encountered in his
ramble. How long was he. Sam?"
asked one OF the guests. Il don know
zackly how long he was, boss" an
swered the terrified Ethiope, "but I'd
! rometer. "-B0Sto1s Commercial BatLLe-
( tin.
What is the difference" asked the
newspaper mans little daughter, who
had lust completed dressing her new
doll: what is the difference between
Mr.. Roach's rejected vessel and my
new dolly?" Il don't know said the
parent, stroking the little girls blonde
| tresses. ''What is the ditference?'
why, don't you see? One is Dol
phin and the other is a doll finished. "
The father groaned aloud. -N0rrtst0t0m
| Herald.
Mamma" said a young lady, you
must read the new novel 1t tells how
a young lady sat down. She walked
into the rOom-walked, mind you-and
put her hand on the back of a chair.
The chair was sitting close to the wall
and she gently removed it to position
! near the center of the room. She sat
! down, not hard, not violently, but east
! ly. She wasn't hurt. No shrill cry
rent the air. just as she sat down the
grocer's wagon stopped in front of the
door. Oh, it's splendid" -ArkGfaSaO
TraUeLer.
Again we say to the readers of the
! Appeak, for whose benefit we are now
uttering caution, put your fingers for
! some minutes in icC-Water such as you
| drink; reflect how it must be to show
! er that water upon the internal organi-
| cation, especially when heated, and
! that will, to a sensitive person, say
more than all we could write further
-NenaphiS appeal. 1t has been noticed
| that Memphis men put their fingers in
q glass of icc-water; but they do it to
get piece of ice to put in the other
tumbler. They do not drink the water.
-Net0 Orleans Picayune.
A young gentleman in Atlanta, who
has been living in blissful anticipation
of an early welded existence, is now
! lugubrious and inconsolable. He has
| been engaged to q yiyacious, pretty,
popular young lady of the city, and OF
| late has been dreaming dreams no NOR
tai ever dared to dream before lie
built him and her coy cottage and
| planted garden, but last night the
birdie informed him that she had con-
cluded TO be Gagged by fellow with q
more spacious mansion Ia lamenting
his plight he calculates: why dog,
gone it, [ even dug well. "-AtIaut0
(Ga.) CAPITOL
Are there" calculated Mr.. Hen
peck, as he stepped into the back door
OF his residence yesterday noon. His
wife, who was dIshing up the dinner
dropped her cooking-fork on the hitch,
en- table and exclaimed:
"Joseph, don't you ever let me hear
you use that expression again. The
idea of saying 'ah theren to poor wo-
man who is just making a slave of her
self for your sakei"
Il beg your pardon" said Mr. Hen
peck; Il simply wanted to ask you are
there any potatoes in the house for
breakfast to-morrow?"-L0tGeU CEti-
zen.
When Mr.. Jones said, 81 tell you,
when the willipus- willopus of Christi
anity passes over humanity il levels all
things OFF," DR.. Lewis asked:
Brother Jones, what do you mean
by willipus- wilIopus?'
! Why" said the evangelist with
some surprise, don't you know what
that thing is? Down in Nashville they
have big machine TO crush rocks on
the street, and they call it a willipus-
willopus. Don't you have any UP
here?' and he didn't seem to think
that he had been speaking in an un-
known tongue. st L0UiS PoSt-Dis-
patch.
! Agent to Mayor of Slugtown, Tex.
Il am trying to introduce this new pat
ent washing-machine and flatiron. !
have also here an improved cake-cutter
and garden-hose. You will find these
articles Yes, yes; | dare say;
but it won't do. You are behind the
times. Have you any siXteen-shot re-
| volyers?" No, sir; | haye-''
ANY torpedoes suitable for blowing
| up iails?" No" NO uubreakable
ropes?'' Not one" Nor masks,
nor gags, nor Nothing of the
sort, sir Very well. Twenty-four
hours to leave town. If once your
presence is known here | caunot an
swer for the consequences. Ctr
Philadelphia CALL
The electric light We'd the moon in IL
Illuminating the veranda, but notwith-
standing their combined efforts Alger-
non and Augusta found convenient
place where the rays OF light could on
ly be perceived indirectly.
"Algy," said she, this must be a
good deal like the delightful evenings
of Mexico when the AzIecS ruled"
81 dare say; but who We're the Aztecs
my dear?"
Don't you know? Why, they were
the people that said Tattenamquiliztli'
when they meant kiss"
Did they? Well, give Us 'Tatten-
amQuilizti'r'
For 4 moment the moon and the cleo
trio light were both eclipsed Hartford
Post
indiana is the leading State in the
Union III the production of starch from
Z 1