Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1885-01-10
A NAsBY LETTER.
Petroleum V. Has Influence with the
President.

President.
CONFIDENT X ROADS witch is in the
State Nv kentucky, December "a, 1SS4.-I
hev list returned from Albany, whittier
went for the purpus of consultin with Presi-
dent Cleveland and the leedin Dimocrisy
Nv the kentry on the question Nv the tariff,
witch is takin the life out Nv the Dimocrisy.
President Cleveland was terribly deprest,
fur he he'd bin pulled and hauled about by
diverse fackshens till he coodn't rest. He
hailed my appearance with delite, and to-
wunst begged me to help him out
Nothin is easier" sed [. The Dimoc-
risy is pledged to the reduckshun Nv the in
famous taruf witch is eatin the life out Nv
the people fur the benefit Nv few bloatid
mOnopolists,"
"Troo!" sed he, troom
1" Very good. All there is TO do is TO aSser-
tame the views Nv the leedin Djmokrats NV
diffrent secl1shuns Nv the kentry, especially
Dimellratic members NV CongriS, and form
oolate sum specific policy so that we kin do
ez we agreed redoose the tariff without
inierin any Unrest. Shel | write these let
tiers ?"
His Excellency grashusly signifed his
assent and writ perhaps twenty letters to
different parts of the kentry, and lay bak
calmly waitin the ansers, feelin shoor that
| he'd struk the rite thing.
| wuz pleased with this biznis, fur doorin
the time | wuz writin the letters and
awaitin the anSers | okkepied elegant APP
partments at the Delevan House, at the
expense Nv the Nashnel Central Committy
witch is in seshin here dividin up the Of
fises), witch is better than a bed at Deekin
Pograms, and likker on tick at Bascom S
The questions put wuz all on the tariff
ishoo, and these is the ansers ! received:
From leedin Demekrat in Looseaner:
The present tariff is inikitis, and shood
be gone thro unsparinly. The tariff shood
people be not taxed ondooly. Their shood
be. however, one excepshun made, and
that is on shugar. This industry RELY
needs pertekshun, and must hev it. The
Dimocrisy Nv Looseaner will never submit
to tetchin the tariff on shugar.'
From a leedin Dimekrat Nv Pennsilvany:
Their amt no question eZ to the neceS-
sity Nv q keerlul revision Nv of tariff fur
the relief Nv the people The dooties
shood be taken orr everything ceptin iron
and SIGH. The Dimocrisy Nv Pennsilvany
insist onto free trade in everything ceptin
iron 1t will resist any reduckshen on
that"
From leedin Dimellrat Nv Massychoos-
its:
Ever troo to its pledges the Dimocrisy
must apply the knife in all dooties, fur the
relief NV the people. Excepshuns must Nv
course be made on certin interests. The
Dimocrisy NV Moo England viii insist upon
free trade in everything ceptin Cotton
Goods, Woolen-Goods, Yankee Noshuns
and SIGH other articles ez may be manu-
faktered in Moo England On these arti
kels, skedool Nv which l shall send 700,
the Dimoerisy of Moo England will insist
the dooties shell be increest. ef there is any
change made
From a Dimocratic Wool-grOwer Nv Ohio:
The tariff Is inildtus on everything cep
tin wool. Eff Their be any change in that,
the dooty must be increest.'
From a wine grower Nv Ohio and an
other NV Caiiforny:
while the tariff is inikitus on general
principles, the doUty On wines shOOd be
histed higher Our industries demand
this"
From a lumber man NV Mishgan:
The Dimocrisy Nv Northern Mishigan
lOathe the present tariff system. The doOty
shood be removed from everything but lum-
Der. On lumber we need perteckshun from
Canady.'
From a copper miner in Mishigan
W L htllIdlltl Il hGtIsil IthlSillI!l NV jIlp
tariff, which must be sweepin, and mcleod
a reduckshun on everything but copper.
That must be left ez it is or, if any change,
slitely increased
From a shugar refiner, New York:
There amt no question ez TO the inikity
Nv the present tariff system. The dooty is
too high upon everything except refined
sugar. Eff that is teched at all, it shood be
increest'
From Dimkratic brewer, Milwaukee,
The tariff is discriminatin ana unjust
to the people. and the Dimocrisy demand
in thunder tones a complete and keerful
revishun. Everything shood be slashed
except beer. The brewers of
Germany hev got beer down to SIGH a fine
pint that they kin undersell US, and it
wood never do to let the pisenin Nv the
people be done TO the profit Nv Germany.
The tariff on beer should not be touched,
unless it mite be slightly increest. This
should be looked into
There was suthin like a dozen more but
these WY specimen briX, and quite enuft'
to show the drift Uy things The President
wuz terribly put out when red EN- He
simply remarkt, H. and then con-
tinered
q" What kin / do when every man W en-
stands on the Republican platform on
everything that his constitooence happens
to be interested in? Inesmuch ez the Dem
ocrisy happen to be interested in every
thing thai anybody else IS, and ez every
ONE NV en- appeers to be determined not to
redoose the doctie5 on his own espeshl pro-
duck, don't see how we are goin to DO
anything about it,
d" Your Excelency." I replied your
he'd is level. Tariff reducksbin is an ex-
cellent thing Just afore an eleckshun, but
it is an ugly thing to tackle after the battle.
humbiy seiest that we let it severely
alone"
" But must make my administrator
for sUthin, vas his reply.
81 Troo, and we will do it. We shell de-
penu Ter success in satisfyin the people onto
Reform generally. Referm general :, with
0ut going inter pertikelers ez to what we
shell reform, is our best holt, and the only
thing we kin do. We dassent tech the
tariff, the currency, or anything else the
Republicans hev done, but we kin reform
things. We shell assOom that there is cor
rupshcn in public places, and 10 get At it
make q clean sweep Nv the Republican
and git ourselves safely and
sekOOr!y lokatid fur four yeers. That will
be reform enUtf for the present. II is not
likely we shell hold our place longer than
four yeers and the pint is to do en- well
for ourselves Ell we kin doorin that time.
1t IS enuT for me to hev the postoflis
at the Corners four yeers. it Is enuh for
VOC to be President that time 700 will 20
down to posterity ez President, and yoor
portra;e WI he engraved among the 9th
ers. 700 can't do any good 70 the country
without bein seryile imitater uv the Re-
publicaus. Do it ef 700 choose. Yoo can't
hurt anything by adoptin their polisy. No
body expected much Nv 700, and | am not
shoor that ] Shood try 10 disappolnt EN-.
We hey the olfises, and tina; is all we keer
fur
The President is troubled in his mind.
and shel 90 back 10 snstane him ez.sn0n