davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
Humorous Definitions.

A smart, pithy, or humorous defni-
ton often furnishes happy illustra-
ton of the proverbial brevity which is
the soul of wit. A boy once said that
dust is mud with the juice squeezed
out" fan, we learn from another
juvenile source, is "a thing to brush
warm off with" and monkey "a
small boy with a tail ;" wakefulness,
"eyes all the time coming unbuttOned;"
and ice, ''water, that stayed out too
late in the cold, and went to sleep"
A schOolboy asked to define the
word sob, whimpered out, sit means
when "a Teller don't mean to cry, and it
bursts out itself" A five-year-Old
youngster was asked to give his idea
of the meaning of responsibility" so
he said-"Well, suppOsing | had only
two buttons on my trousers, and one
came off, all the responsibility would
rest on the other button"
A good definition of ''Pharisee" is
ga tradesman who uses long prayers
and short weights" OF a humbug,
zone who agrees with every body"
And of tyrant, "the other version of
somebody's hero"
A watch may he hit off as a second
hand affair - and spectacles as "sec-
ond sight," or ''friendly glasses"
Fashion has been cleverly hit off as
San arbitrary disease, which leads all
geese to follow in single file the one
goose that sets the style"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21

Mr. Lovejoy could give me a dollar
a barrel. "Apples wasn't worth no
more at this season of the year J" And
/ whipped old DobbiD mp, determined
to carry them home again sooner than
to sell at that price.
At the next place where | stopped, a
pleasant looking middle aged man
came out and critically examined my
apples.
"Do they hold out like this all the
way down 2" he asked.
ON warrant them," said |, careless
".
"How much r. he asked.
'ETwo dollars and a half barrel"
He reflected.
OTIS a good price," said he, as if he
were talking to his own vest buttons !;
"but then they look like good apples,
and we've a tOlerably large Western
order to fill. III see what my partner
thinks"
He went back into the gloomy depths
of his store, and |, happening to glance
up, saw the words painted in black
letters over the door 'Hull Il Avery"
My first impulse was to drive on and
leave the chance of bargain behind
me my next to sit still and await my
fate as Providence dealt it out to me.
And presently out came Willis Avery
himself.
81 think we will take your load, if
Why ~ breaking short off, sits Addy
Walters ~
cOlOred scarlet.
eyes," said |, compOsedly as posi-
BILE. Good morning, Mr.. Avery. |
shall be obliged if you will examine
the fruit as speedily as possible, as |
am in a hurry"
"Oh, certainly" He looked as if ii
nipping frost had chilled his enthusi-
asm in the bud, and | secretly exulted
within myself.
Mr.. Hull bought the load of apples,
price-and of the same quality, he eau
tiously added-he would be happy To
take them. Willis Avery touched his
hat and | drove away as loftily as
Queen Boadicea in her chariot of old.
"Just S35, counting in the melodeon
money" cIied Kitty, gleefully. "And
now Mr.. Avery may come as soon as
he likes"
She had scarcely spoken the words
before there came KNOCK AT the door,
and in walked no less parsonage than
Mr.. Willis Avery himself | received
him with the air of an empress.
Your money is ready, Mr.. Avery"
81 was not thinking of the money,
Addy," said he, almost reprOachfully.
''DO you think ones mind runs always
on money Z"
'Mine does, a good DEAL" said l.,
laughing.
"But had no idea you were reduced
to this. did not know"
"Mr. Avery, this is scarcely business
like" interpOsed.
"Addy," said he abruptly, 81 admir-
ed your spirit and courage to-day. |
always liked you as girl, but now"
DWELL 2" for he hesitated.
81 would do something more if you
would let me. l would love you -
did not answer. In truth and i'll
fact could not.
Dear Addy, will you let me sign
back the old place to your father on
our wedding day ?" he asked earnestly.
And somehow he had got hold of my
hand, and somehow, before | knew it,
we were engaged
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
The Verdict at Rutland.

The case of the Rutland railroad
against ex-GOv. John b. Page, which
has occupied the county court at Rut-
land, for two months past, ended yes
terday in verdict for Page of 81 and
cost. This is substantial victory for
Page, and the end of long and bitter
fight. About two years ago IA party
organized by Clement & Sons, Rut-
land bankers, bought up the control
of the Rutland railroad and ousted Mr..
Page from the presidency. An inves-
tigatiOn of the books revealed IL defal-
cation of $4,000 and considerable
overissue of stock. These matters
were brought up in the annual election
and the fight made was very bitter.
1t resulted in Pages defeat and his fl
nancial downfall. The Howe scale
works were placed in the hands of
trustees and run for the benefit of the
creditors, and the bank is in liquida-
ton.
Page claimed that J. NJ. Haven, who
had long been associated with him as
treasurer of the road, had taken the
missing $4,000 and had Over-issued
the stock. The matter was brought
before the grand jury and Haven was
indicted for Over-issuing stock, the
case now standing for trial at the next
term of court. The Clement manage
ment of the road then sued Page for
some half million dollars, charging
him with misapprOpriating the roads
money and with mismanaging the
funds during his long period of power
Page put i'll a bill i'll offset for money
of his own which he claimed to have
used in the roads business. This is
the suit which has just been decided.
The trial has been IL remarkable one.
1t is the first case tried under the new
Vermont law which provides for IL
picked jury. The jury was composed
of prominent farmers and business
men of the towns about Rutland, and
the evidence dealt with such cOmpli-
Gated matters of accounting that it
would have been impossible TO get an
intelligent comprehension of it from
the average haphazard panel. More
testimony was taken than at any pre-
vious jury trial in New England. A
type writer copy of the testimony
covered 1895 pages of legal cap and
included over rs, 900 words. Gov.
Pages own testimony comprised over
267 900. A striking evidence of Gov.
Pages popularity in the town for which
lie has done SO much was given when
at the close of Gen. BurDett's argu-
ment in Pages behalf, the entire audi
ence rose aud cheered for several min
utes. The jury was out for some days
and the verdict is reported as the re-
suit of IA compromise. But it is doubt
full if Page would ever have made any
claim against the road had he remain
ed in control, and the throwing out of
his claim can hardly astOnish his
friends or prevent them from claiming
the result as their victory. 1t settles
the fact that Page has not stolen the
roads money and that the road has no
claim against him, but it does not re-
store him to the leading position in
the business of the town and state
which he held SO short a time ago. A
tOrch-hght procession, with drum
corps and brass band, paraded the
town last evening in honor of the YER
dict. The result is received with gen
eral satisfactiOn.-[S Springfield Repub-
lican, May Is.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21

Governor Pingree has recently APP
pointed as justices of the peace R. S.
Hazard of ST. Adams, vice Prosper
Mitchell, resigned Jonathan c. Gal
lup of Mortified, vice j. K. Egerton,
resigned, and George w. Bickford of
Woodford, vice John Harbour, re-
signed.
Three new G. A. r. posts have been
organized since the last annual state
encampment, held at Rutland in Feb
ruary. These are the F. V. Randall
No. "a of Danville, the Abraham Lin
coin No. S5 of Hartford, and post just
organized at Essex Junction. A char
ter has also been applied for by Graf
ton.
Gov. Pingree has appointed Hon.
William Rounds of Chester assistant
judge of the Windsor county court,
vice Hon. VIM. NJ. Pingry deceased.
He was railroad commissioner in 1868
and 1869 and judge of probate for the
Windsor district ten years from 1868,
when he refused to serve longer.
This is from the Washington cor
respondence of the New York Tribune
"Senator Edmunds has accepted plans
for the construction of his new house
at Massachusetts avenue and Twenty
first street. 1t is to be plain and sub
stantial-nO foolish Queen Anne no.
tons about it-as BELTS the dignity OF
the Vermont statesman"
The Vermont Baptist Sunday school
convention will be held June Sd and
4th at Poultney. DR.. c. r. Blackall
of Philadelphia, a prominent Sunday
school worker in the denomination
will conduct the convention and de-
liver several addresses.
The contract for the bridge across
Lake Champlain, from NORTH Hero tn
Alburgh, has been awarded to the r.
F. Hawkins iron works of Springfield,
Mass, for a little less than 100000.
This will be the first iron bridge across
Lake Champlain, the finest in the state
of Vermont, and one of the finest i'll
New England.
Brattleboro furnishes six orators for
Memorial day this year j. NJ. Tyler
at NOrthtield, Mass, j. l.. Martin at
Fairhaven, Col. Haskins at Brandon,
Col. Hooker at West Randolph, Col.
Fuller at Rochester, and Rev. E. w.
Whitney at Bernardston, Mass.
Preparations are being made for the
payment of dividend of 45 per cent.
to those stockholders of the ruined
First National bank of BrattlebOro,
who paid the assessment of % per cent.
levied by the receiver soon after the
failure of the bank to pay the creditors.
This is the first dividend to be paid
the stockholders and it will amount to
nearly One-half of the assessment col
lected
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
Woman Suffrage.

The Rhode Island House of Repre-
sentatives took up the woman suffrage
amendment bill again, March "a, and
passed it by vote Of "A to 20. The
Senate had already adopted it almost
unanimously. The Rhode Island suf-
fragists are happy and proud, and
they may well be so. Three cheers
for little Rhode Island, the first State
in New England that has ever voted
to submit woman suffrage amend
ment.
The Minnesota Legislature has
passed law allowing women to vote
for County Superintendents of Schools.
The text of the law will be found in
another column. The vote in the Sen
ate was % in favor to IL opposed.
We have not the figures of the vote in
the House. Inch by inch, the old
prejudices are giving way, and the
old unjust barriers being removed.
The woman suffrage bill in the New
York Assembly received 81 ayes to 80
noes, but failed to pass, 65 ayes being
requisite to IA constitutional majority.
So large an affirmative vote marks a
cheering advance over preceding years,
and bears strong testimony to the ener-
getic and efficient work done i'll that
State. The opponents in New York
must "reioice with trembling over
their narrow escape, and trembIe, with
out rejoicing, over their outlook for
the future.
The w. c. T. U. of Ohio has sent to
each member of the Ohio Legislature a
petition for a law comforting upon
women the right to vote at all cleo
tons and for all officers from which
they are not expressly debarred by the
constitution. The w. c. T. U. OF
Mississippi has done the same. They
could not have done a better thing, or
one which would cause their adverse
ries more lively disquiet.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
A Costly Dog.

Last October Thomas HOrner, OF
NorristOwn, Pa, shot dog belonging
to Jacob Trimley. The case has just
been tried before Judge Boyer. Sew
eDty-five witnesses were subpGBaed,
the costs, not including attorneys fees,
amounted to S405, and they were di-
vided between the defendant and the
man who owned the dog, Mr.. Horner
paying twO-thirds of them. Mr.. HOr-
ner appears to be liberal sort of man,
not at all close and grasping when it
comes to paying for dog, and any
time he wants to go a-gunning after
some more dogs, one of my neighbOrs
has bowler that / will let Mr.. Horner
shoot full of holes for S25, cash down
and no questions asked. Come armed
with your gun and pocket-bOO
ThOmas.-l BroOkly n Eagle.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
A MOtherly Hen.

The GOrham, n. H., Mountameer,
vouches for the following: zone cold
morning this spring, two robins sat
shivering in the cold near our home.
We watched them from our window
in pity. Presently Il flock of hens APP
peared, and one of the number, ii
motherly old yellow legs" espied
them and walked deliberately up. A
consultation of moment was held,
when the robins fearlessly entered un
der her protecting wings, and for half
an hour that old hen, unmindful of the
calls of her companions, lowered them
into warmth and life. This is a fact"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
Annie Laurie.

Who was "Bonnie Annie Laurie ~
Nearly everybody has sung, or heard
sung, the beautiful ballad of "Annie
Laurie" Annie Laurie was no myth.
Nearly two hundred years ago Sir
Robert Laurie, of MaxweltOn, of Dunn
friesshire, Scotland, quantity wrote in
his family register these words: "At
the pleasure of the Almighty God, my
daughter, Annie Laurie, was born on
the 10th day of December, 1852, about
six o'clock in the morning, and was
baptized by Mr.. George Hunter of
Glencaine." Annie's mother was
named Jean Riddle, to whom Sir
Robert was married "upon the 9th
day of July, 1874, at the Iron Kirk of
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
Don't 500 West -

While Horace Greeley's advice given
many years ago to 600 West" might
have been, and in certain instances
may still be good, we think the time
has come when it is not advisable to
leave Vermont for the West. We
have lately cOnversed with intelligent
men who have temporarily returned,
and have received letters from parties
living West which speak very dispar-
agingly of the conditions of affairs in
that section. The hattering accounts
which are received from the new sec
tons in that vast region are usually
written by railroad agents, land own
ers, and spectators for the sole pur-
pose of inveigling unsuspecting parties
in the East. Sometimes the poor and
homesick settler who has gone from
the East, in his desire to bring his
friends to him, writes glowing ac-
counts of cheap land, large crops, fine
climate and bright prospects. But
there is another side to the question:
Barton Monitor.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
Advice to Young Men.
From the BOSTON Herald.

Public employment is one of the last
avenues toward which an ambitious
and capable young man should turn us
a means of getting Il livelihood. 1t af-
fords the smallest chances for "getting
on in the world" of any occupation re-
quiring an equal amount of ability and
preparation. Enterprise is killed, am
bition has its wings clipped, individu
ality is lost, energy frets itself to death
in narrow circle, and the man him
self becomes mere cog in machine,
in the public service adopted as a call
ing for life. 1t is commonly entered
us il makeshift, but the comparative
ease, freedom from responsibility, and
perhaps little feeling of being peg
above common labor, which the posi-
ton affords, hold the appointee i'll his
place until he is tipped out, only to
find himself incapacitated for the real
work of the world. The civil service
commission has deemed it necessary to
issue a notice stating that places can
not be found for one sixth of those
who have signitied desire to be eX-
amined for public appointments. 1t is
an unpleasant showing. Young men
with good stuff in them should seek an
Independent career. 1t is a poor am
bition to be bound with red tape and
made "A desk slave for life.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
Public Opinion.
The Clipper Mans Bright Boy.

The Clipper Mans Bright Boy.
There is nothing like giving boy a
classical education. We were recently
in an Office in this city with a party of
gentlemen, the proprietor of which had
won large number of hats-all sizes,
on the late election, when in came one
of those irreverent Greek and Ionic
students, and said: "Father | must
have IA new hat; where shall | get it. y
The venerable pater suggested that he
go to "A closet in the office as there he
could find old hats, new hats, and OF
various dimensions. At this the
disciple of mythology, etymOlOgy and
chronology blandly replied: "Pm diff
ferent from some at the house; my
head is the same size every day in the
week" He got his hat Burlington
Clipper.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
BROKEN TOYS.

I found my baby girl to-day
Asleep upon the floor,
The space around her little form
With playthings scattered DER.
Her hands were nestled meath her chin,
And one still firmly held
A broken toy. whose novel charm
As yet was undispelled.
There fingered still about the mouth
And on the brow a trace
or thought half grieved and half perplexed,
As II the tiny face
Already had begun to learn
The look il was to wear
In years to come. 1 stopped to kiss
Away the mimic care.
And as laid her still asleep,
Within her nest-like bed,
And smoothed the cradles pillow for
The little weary head,
| thought how we Of larger growth,
When tired of pains and Joys,
With that same look, fall fast asleep
Amid our broken tOysl
And then the Father, STOPPING, takes
The tired head to His breast,
And smooths the furrow from the brow.
And bears US to our rest.
Il Lippincott's Magazine
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21

Edinburgh, by Mr.. Annane," as was
also recorded by her father himself.
Posterity owes to Mr.. William Doug
las, of England, in Kirkcudbright-
shire (who wooed but did not win the
capricious Annie,) the song of "Bon-
ME Annie Laurie" wherein he cele-
brated the beauty and transcendent
perfection of the maid of Maxwelton.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21

Precious, precious to Jehovah,
Is His childrens holy sleep;
He is with them in the passing
Through the waters cold and deep;
Everlasting love enfolds them,
Softly, sweetly to His breast,
Everlasting love receives them
To His glory and His rest.
IF r. HavergaL
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
DRY GOODS.

New Chambrays. Ginghams, Shirtings, and Prints,
2OO0 yards Spring Prints at sc per yard
y in Figured Lawns at &c per yard.
Novelty White Lawn Dress Patterns containing II
yards material and yards trimmings, from 90. %
upward.
New White Goods for dresses at bottom prices.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
What 1t Does /:

1t protects against adversely in business
1t is a protection for lite insurance policies.
1t is an investment and a protection combiued
1t is better than U. :. Governments and equally
secure.
1t protects dependent ones against the contn
gency of death.
1t Is a safe sure and desirable Investment and
within the reach of all
II guarantees that a certain amount of money,
with interest, viii be accumulated in a specified
time.
The amount that life insurance would cost should
be credited profit the Bond as it takes the
place of such insurance.
The instalments paid are like deposits made in a
Savings Bank, and are returned to the Bond holder
at his option.
The Bond natures at a specified time at pre-
viOus death for its face value, and guarantees a
definite sum in cash any year after the first.
The instruments paid on the Bond can be used in
business by hypothecating it, This is a great adj
vantage to those who may at any time need all the
money they can command raise
The 100000 policies, representing over two bill
lions of dollars of lapsed surrendered insurance
between 1870 and 1880 would have been saved by
these Bonds.
The Bond is not hampered by any conditions
restrictions and its cash yalne cannot be impaired
or IeOpardized.
The Bond affords the very best security, and is
Under this Bond you Pay yOu go. Stop
without loss Stop with profit, or continue for
greater profit
CALL AT BLODGETTS',
113 Eastern Avenue,
ST. JoHNSBURY.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
P. D. BLODGETT & cos.
Instalment Bond.
The National Life Insurance Co.,
OF VERMONT,

Issues Installment Bonds for $1,000 each. which
from 10 to 40 years
This Bond can be purchased by either Annual,
Semi Annual or Quarterly IDstalments
If the purchaser at any time dscOn tinues his in
staments the Company will redeem the Bond for
the stipulated sum expressed upon its face.
In event of the death of a bODdhOlder the unpaid
and is payable in full to his legal representatives
The Bond il payable to the purchaser at an age
when he is more likely to be dependent upon others
than others upon him. and upon which payment
may cease at any time without loss.
The issuing of this Bond is endorsed by the alb
lest A ctuaries of America one of whom says that
this Company has taken the grandest step in fair
dealing within the history of Life Insurance"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1885-05-21
Thirty Years. Experience
D. A. CLIFFORD.

st. JohnsbuTy, Vt
Vice Pres Photographic Association of America.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-02-25
Won From the Buck.

The Meridian Club by departing from
their old smuggling game 10 the beautiful
points OF coaching or scientific polo cas- /,
defeated the Louisville singers last nigh.
at Meridian Rink by score of 3 to 0. After
the first rush il was evident the visitors were
no match for the Meridian lads, who have of
late improved wonderfully in their coach.
ing methods. The interest in these games Is
very great, as the percentage of games won
are OF the ut most Importance to each team,
who are neck and neck IN the race FIR tn
same plsce. consequently Meridian's victory
EST night was an important one, and tn
games tonight and tomorrow night promise
10 be equally as interesting The gam
opened promptly at @ o'clock with League
Referee Perry Wrigt officiating. The irsf
goal was won by Dasher after five minute.
OF lively scrambling. The second was won
by Murphy by beautiful line drive il
l.30 The third by Woods in seven minutes
Murphy. Lands, Woods and Oasher caac asc
beautifully all through the con test, ana wer,
loudly applaIded Burgess sud Eden, 3.
bslf backs, watched the game without any
thing 10 de- while Eden m1rmured: ~ an
nearing the supper causing much msrri
ment. The score is as follows;
Meridian .......... -
Fouls i OuiSville. =.
Time OF Game-l3.t6.
ReIeTee-PeIIy Wright.
The Indianapolis sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1880-1904, 1885-02-25
knights of Honor.

The Grand Lodge o. the Knights of Honor
Of the State of Indiana convened in Oh
Baldwin Block yesterday morning. Ali ths
officers and large number OF represent
tives were present The reports OF officer
and of the Committee on Credentials ooc1
pied most OF the time w. g. Morris GRAND
Dictator submitted printed report of great
length showing among other things thSr
there are 107 lodges in the State. James
w. Jacobs. the Ossnd Reporter, made tn
following fnanosfshowing. Cash on hsue
February -. 1854 S97 receipts during the
year from all sources, s. 6Sl 81; total 70
ceipts. s. rs 81; disbursements, y, SOL SIS.
balance on hand. 81. sS7 81 value of Offic-
fixtures S263 40; OF supplies, $113.72; tOtal
assets, -. 264 Is. Beneficiary members IL une
so 1851. Isl: honorary members, 10. irst
degree members. 5 second degree, 3; total
membership. 4. 705; present number Of active
Lodges, 1e7. The Lodge rooms at Brook
vile and MilleTsvi'le, with al the outfits
we're destroyed by FIRE. The neurological Re
port of the Supreme Grand Lodge Of the
United States says To June 50, 1883, there
has been - deaths IN our order, upon
each Of which have been drawn ia favor OF
their benefciaries. From June so. 1873 TO
lure 50 1879, q period of six years. our
Membership mad grown TO 81 ,5Sl. During
that period there were So deaths. The av-
srsgs sge ef the deceased members was
-