The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1885-05-09
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A Lewiston seamstress carelessly left
a needle in the back of a young lady
customers dress, and now a particular
friend of the family has his arm done up
in naturalization (Ne.) J0wrnaj
There are twenty ways of cooking
n potato, and three hundred and sixty
five ways of cooking an egg. Here
culture ends, for there is but one way of
swallowing either of them.-LOl0eU
CiijzeH
1t is claimed that you can tell when
it is noon-time by looking at cats
eyes. We can see what a cats size
has to do with noon-time unless you
are thinking of having rabbit for dinner.
-B4rijnqtoR Haaobeye.
There are said to be over two thou
sand postmasters in the United States
with a salary of less than ten dollars a
year. At Redelia, N. c., last year, the
salary was nine cents.-N Y. Nail.
When the fire reporter gets as far
as ''the lurid glare of forked flames
shooting athwart the dark dOmed sky"
it is time for the city editor to put on a
condenser and get at the facts Of prop
crty destroyed. 0. PjcayuRe.
Not sugar-coated: She-'There is
often a vast difference between boor
and a bore" He (fshing)-"And are
most men either one or the other?"
She (wearily)-"Well,a man is a bOor
when he does not call on US, and gen
orally bore when he does. '-LYe.
-Maxtield Bean was in manufac-
turing town last week, when very
fashionably dressed young man passed
along. He was told that it was a clerk
in one of the cotton m lis and quite
lady's man. In fact the girls had
spoiled him. That was my idea OF
him." said Maxlield Bean; If not
spoilt, | thought he was a little mill
dude. "-Hc'r0Se JoHrHaj.
Are you fond of etchings?' asked
the young man who had taken the host
ess' pretty niece from the country down
to supper. CAS- general thing, yes, D."
she answered, looking up into his eyes
with an engaging frankness that threat
encd havoc to his heart; but, she added
| hastily, as he started to say something
pretty, mot any tonight, thank you
it is rather late. A very little of sherbet
is all care for. "-Bost0U Bcacon.
First Observation-Disclosures the mat
ter? You look i'll. Second Bohemian
I am suffering from writer's cramp.
'Indeed. But you seem to have the use
of your wrist, and | did not suppose you
had had much chance to be over
worked" "Ah! it is not in my wrist,
and is not caused by overwork. - Then
where is it, and what is the causer' at
is in my stomach, and is caused by a
vacuum. "-Pbiladelphja Gull.
A nice old gentleman, seeing lad
eating an orange, told the boy not to
swallow the skin, because it would
make him sick. The lad was thus saved
from probable sickness by the nice old
| gentleman's thOughtfulness. The lad
threw the skin out at the window, and
the nice old gentleman went out and
sat down very hard upon the sidewalk.
The nice old gentleman will not tell
lads hereafter that orange peels should
not be eaten-B0ston Post.
Dear to the heart:
How, dear to the heart are the chostnuts of
| childhood
The puns prehistoric we vented in wild mood,
And ancient conundrums so feeble and
few!
What sweet recollections rise quickly and
work us
High up to that pitch where the briny tears
| well
When we hear from the lips of the clown at
| the circus
The crutch-ridden chestnuts we all love to
tell
The moss-covered chcstnuts, the widowed
| COnundrums,