The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-05-15
PRACTICAL JOKES.

shHSb sS&@s OONss
Tho Expensive Kind Played on Orlando j.
Dowd-A Cheaper Variety More Fashion
able Now.
Rather a severe and cruel joke was
played on a young pilgrim near Ubet,
NJ. T.. few days ago. l have ex-
pressed myself so often as the foe to all
classes of practical jokes thatlheed not
declare myself again here. This young
man, whose name, for the purpose of
this sketch. will be Orlando j. Dowd,
came from the far East and settled down
in Montana in quiet, unassuming
way. with the ultimate object of becom-
ing citizen of the new young Com
mOnwealth. He could not disguise his
open-eyed wonder over the new and
startling features of the wild West, and
so he at once became the victim of the
hardened frontiersmen. more especially
the cow fraternity, with whom he was
thrown good deal.
Some crude cow humorist soon con-
ceived the bold and highly brilliant idea
of coming down on Mr.. Dowd some
sunny day with a tribe of bogus Sioux
and soaring the nervous tender foot into
an early grave. He told his friends
about it and they were at once wild with
delight. He told Orlando's employer
and he also laughed and slapped HIM
self with joy. No pains were spared to
make it success. Half a dozen cow
boys got the war-pa;nt and other tog-
gerry, and with no warning. whatever
one pleasant day. while Orlando }:
Dowd and his employer were engaged
in building corral on the summer
ranch, they were startled by a wild
war.whoop that froze their blood, and
less than mile away they saw band
of armed and yelling savages descend
ing upon them like the wind.
'.Here are the blankety blank Indians.
Orlando" said the proprietor ely
for your life. You are young and have
all of life before you. l will stay and
meet death in the sere and yellow leaf
of MY closing year. Do not make a
moments delay. Jump on horse and
fly for your life. Tell my friends that
l died peacefully at the hands OF the
savage foe. Do not stay 20 mourn for
me, Orlando, but fly"
Orlando did not know that his kind
and self-forgetful employer intended to
get behind the cabin and laugh to see
the scared pilgrim flee with a squad of
bogus braves after him, armed with tin
tOmahawks and wooden Winchesters.
So Orlando j. Dowd vaulted swiftly in
to the saddle of Observation-Disclosures
blooded racer that was picketed twenty
yards away, and proceeded to fly. Be-
| fore the distance was too great, how
ever, he practised on the Indians with
| his Boston revolver, and put n lead
nugget into the thick part of leg that
belonged to warlike Sioux from St
Lawrence County. New York. and who
happened to be little in advance.
Orlando j. Dowd then proceeded to
| fill the air with aIkali dust and to ac-
cumulate intervening space.
|
1t is now three wears and four months
| since the events narrated in the foregO-
ing took place. Orlando j. Dowd was
so frightened by the cruel hoax that he
did not slacken his pace, but with the
last words of his dying EMPLOYER still
| ringing in his ears. he fled. He always
did everything thoroughly, and so when
he fed he didn't do it specifically or
slightingly He did it with all the ardor
of a young enthusiast. He not only
fled but he stayed fled.
OF course. he did not want to come
back to place where his employer had
met with such tragic death. Every
thing would remind him of his dear
dead friend, who so unseliishly gave up
his life.
SO Orlando j. Dowd crossed over into
the British possessions with his beauti-
full steed and has never had the heart to
come back. We should learn from this
to eschew all species of practical Jokes.
Here was young man whose life was
full of golden possibilities driven from
his home and compelled to drag out a
miserable existence in a foreign land.
1t has also been valuable lesson to
those who suggested it. The Indian
who got Mr.. Dowd's parting remark in
his leg says he never sits down without
feeling of soreness and remorse, and
Orlando's old employer says he will
never play any more practical jokes.
He enjoys them heartily at the time.
but they come too high, he says. He
is passionately fond of mirth in any
form, but those jokes that you can get
two for quarter are good enough for
him.-BiH Nyc, ~ N. I. Mercury.