The Wilmingtonian., 1885-07-25
His Honor and Riiah.

"Bjah," said his Honor, as he skinned
himself out of his spring overcoat and look
ed out of the alley window at an onion
sprouting up in an ash heap "who is
making all that noise in the CORRIDOR"
"lt's a woman, sir-Mrs. O'Rearity ~
"What does She want?''
Wants to be tiled, sir
"Well, well have to call the case at once
She's probably in a hurry to get home and
fix for day at the roller rink, Lead her
out gently, Bijah. Always remember that
a gill of kindness goes further in this world
OF late springs than whole barrel Of bull.
dozing."
Mrs. O'Rearity was brought out. 1t was
gently. Bjah carrid her as he would 200
pound bag Of flour, and the way she was
kicking, biting and scratching would have
done credit to a wild eat.
"Ill have the life out of him 20 she
exclaimed as she was left before the desk
"rhe impudence of the old bald lead to
bring me in before all these people after
that fashion,"
Mrs. O'Rearty, you are unduly excited, T"
said his Honor
Excited your Honor It's madness.
you mean I'm that mad that | could
pitch the whole crowd of yces invo the
alley y
Gently, female, gently, eminent doctors
are unit in declaring that anger is drain
on the tissues BE calm and candid, and
let meinquire what sort of fluid you drank
yesterday to produce the family row last
night ?"
Il never tasted drop of even water -
"llm. But you had row ~
mo, sir. The old man went of and
put 50 of my money into lottery tickets,
and gave him bit of my mind''
with club?"
at was a hoe handle, sir.
''Do you have these rows very often, Mrs.
O'Rearty?"
"Abolt oncS a week, sir, the same as
other folks. II we didn't sir Pm thinking
this world would soon get too goody. good
for the people"
"Whrn were you here last %
Three months agone.
"For what ,"
Same old hoe-handle yonr Honor"
"Ah! remember. let you 20 that time.
This time tile fine will be So
She turned to the audience and beckonod
to man with a bandage around his head
and three strips of courtpaster across his
nose, and a' he cane forward she said:
''Me darlnt, foire dollars is dogcheap
considering the fun we lad. Hand over
the cash and Wen go"
lie paid 1t without W ord, and they went
away hand in hand.
".loroan Davis, the charge is disorderly
conduct"
Sorry, sir but didn't know as it was
against the law"
'Iuu were throwing kisses at every
woman who passed you. Jordan, you must
be masher."
mo, sin"
"Well, you are too sweet for town like
this. Officer did you observe any further
&rudeness on his part?'
i. 81 observed woman smash s6 parasol
Iover his head, sir.
"Ah Glad to know we have such
women among us. Prisoner outside OF
insulting females on the street, what do you
do for living?"
| ''Work hard, SIR
''LeJ me see your hands. HIN. Guess
you work with the dice box or poker chips.
Your fine is $40"
Il haven't got it, sir
'Oh, that won't bother you at all; you
will 80 up for sixty days. II you have any
spare time up there you can plactcc on a
new pose.
John Hancock Scott, did yo. have
trouble with your wife??''
Yes, sah--a werry lcetle.
"On The StrCrt?"
Fright on de street, sah -
GLOW d d it come about ?"
She stole money outer my pocket an
bought Il pair o rot CT skates"
"Ah-ha! C.ught the mania, did shp?n
she did, sah .
Poor tamg! Aud you diln't want hrl
to go?"
No, sab. cotched up wild her on de
street, an we argulicd an iawcd an got
mad, an had a tusslr."
Tally one for the ANU rnker Wei, you
were brought down Ever h,re bsforc?"
"No, sab. -
That's in your favor. suppose let you
4 yuu 10 -
Il rrackon wc can k SIS an make up an
be happy aGin sal"
"Weil, you may try it, aud il you cant
succeed come back here and let me give you
/ nbant thiity luys "