New-York tribune., 1885-01-24
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


In April lightning express train Will begin to run
between Paris and st. Petersburg. twill make the trip
in fifty eight hours.
Don't you like my humorous writing 2" said a Young
reporter the managing editor. " on your humorous
writing Yes I like spybodS's = humorous writing"
OF dry my work a. "Oh. yes. plenty Of dry fun.
but the fun is dry Don't gve any dry fun.
II makes the paper look tired" Arkansaw Traveller
The Arizona editor has got into trouble. lie explains
1t thus: We edit paper this week from the jail.
where we living for the present. We have been
put In the jug for month because resented an insult
offered by pin feather journalist who tries to
opposition paper in this town. But II he thinks he
will muzzle the press in this way he ID mistaken. Like
Edmun6 Yates We shall ont Of jail stronger than
ever and shall take place in the world with renewed
vigor and strength. month Is not long time to
with a good conscience, which is our case. We
would request friends 10 turn all items Of news to
the gentlemany Jaer. who will give them to US"
In Mexico tax Of so per cent has been placed upon 9
her year it will he because her revenue
officers do not do their duty. Boston Transcript
Onion socables tho latest fashionable novelty in
Wyoming Territory. Six ladies take All onion with them
into room and OF them takes bite out Of It, Then
young gentleman is admitted and II. after kissing them
all he fails tell which OF them bit the onion all the
girls Obliged to kiss him.
Say" called the bosIder 10 the waiter Yes sir"
this pudding e. 1es sir, tunk she has Well go out
tell her throw It away" Then silence healed the
blows " sound d--.Merchant Traveller.
Since the absorbing discussion Of the bean question in
Boston been In progress the citizens OF the Hub
referred human beans But 1t wouldn't be right to
include Ihe boston Post serious beings in that category
Tho following bill has been introduced in the Arkansaw
Legislature bill for act entitled act 10 protect
certain people BE that from and after the
nto shows an haf-prlce" one gentleman nom HaInfat
County offered an amendment To the enect that blind
people shonld be admitted free. but objections being
raj scd the proposed amendment ost the ground
that blind people should stay at homo. : Arkansaw
Traveller.
The Illinois man who sent an application for post
Office to His Majesty Grover Gle leland, President
elect" is st looking FOR II he doesn't get
one pretty he will send another letter address TO
His Serene lighness Grover Cleveland, Sultan Lord
of the White Mice and son OF the sun" That certainly
ought to bring down at least 5000 post-oihce.
It very good OF King Alfonso personally visit tho
wretched people OF the earthquake district But he
lind It little lively skipping around between shocks.
The wine production OF Franse for the year 1884 is
given the official statistics just issued at "a 0726
hectores THIS Is more than million less than that
OF 1888 but four millions more than that of lss2 aud
abbut three ana hal millions more tnai the average
the last tive years The result may. therefore. be
pronounced satisfactory, the the quality OF
the wine Is aboye the average The wne-panted area
Is however constantly lessenng In consequence the
ravayes OF the phylIOxera.-LSt. JaInoss Gazette.
fashion exchange says that a smooth face for is
the latest wrinkle. THIS must De n dlBDonca lot on the
part OF the rizor manufacturers.
A German chemist, who discovered a few silver coins
in his pocket subjected them to microseoI examlna-
tion and found In them minute bits or tenWe fabrics.
elobues OF animal matter uniceuar age and bacteria
motion" That Is not 50 bud Tor few coins ia
Germany; but young man in this country who found
test and from IL roc glasses and 1--WE
cigar The German chemist should have his pockets
ceansed and dislnfectcd oftener lNOrrlsown Herald
"The richest woman in America is quite numerous"
Tb. Nail, and AnJ
who that she Isn't numerous enough
to go around.
An amusing yarn Is told by naval officer at present
at this station, OF a trip he made a
European river during which thick fog set in. The
ngnecr. who an lrishinan. and very anxious 10
his duties faithfully became somewhat bewil-
dered by the ncessant rngings OF the bell, which
through as fast he could. but I'm a moment the toat
struck. and firm and immovable upon the bank.
In great rage the captain rushed TO the engine room
and demanded explanation. An lath sir. didn't
the bells as fast as ever conld; an wasn't |
saturday Evening Gazette.
A Leeds paper says that young widow OF that city |
who writes well s training herself for an editor but the
paper doesn't say who the editor Is Lynn Item.
During the year 1854. 05l persons died London
Dr 22a day This gloomy record Is made darker still by
statements that during the year In London the
sun shone brightly only about sixty-hyo days.
He came from by boat his TO
the metropolis. and In strict confidence impaired 10
in Boston In all Its phases When the vessel about
leaving tho wharf her return trip he board
net much the for apparently. lie asked:
Have YOU Boston r. Well. guess have, was
the reply been way up TO the head or state ST. -" Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Canadian apers write vitriolic articles about |
olitca corruption In the United states and then in the
next Iage call their leading statesmen thieves, brbe
takers and villains OF the deepest dye.
The dfunkars those who taste whiskey.
I have known who have drank barrels OF whskey
and yet could trthfuly they ignorant OF its
taste The genuine drnkar absorbs whiskey sclely for
It's enect-the very smell OF is really TO him offensive
Whenever you hear man he likes the taste OF
whisKeY you be he will die u sober man,. /
Detroit Times.
For many years anquated sealed box has been In
every ones way in the office of Massachusetts Secrc
tary OF State According to instructions 1t was not to
be opened for twenty years. Tho time expired not long
ago. and opened with great curiosity II contained
number OF rubbshy papers relating to an old potato rot
rich young man of the dude order of dress and mper
tineDce attended charity fair Az one OF the tables was
Young lady noted for her beauty. Tho dude hung
the beauty's table, but bought nothing AT
last the young lady asked, "Wi you buy - "Unfor-
,una,ey what wish 70 9Hy not Gs sane oS NAV hax
Well thon since you insist should like TO buy one OF
your glossy rnglets" The young lady seized pair Of
scissors clipped and handed 10 10 the Young man.
ssd him, and he was at tho fair nore.-PrOvi
denco Press. Il
Senato elect Chace. OF Rhode Island, IL typical
Quaker In dress speech and believes In the reign OF
peace To such extent that he will not nominate cadets
for Annapolis vote for military appro
good debator and has made many friends ut the
capitaL-lSpringned Union.