davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05
THE FASHIONS IN JOKES.
For the Benefit Of New Para
graphers.
Merchant Traveller.

Merchant Traveller.
The plumber joke is getting little
out of season, but it may be packed
in camphor and will be in style when
the freezes come again.
The roler-skater joke is very pop
ular, and is worn ON all occasions,
either with or without trimming.
The rich editor joke does not ap-
pear to pail upon the taste. 1t is quite
becoming when worn with pasSemen,
terie edging.
Spring poetry jokes are undergoing
a revival, and are quite an fat III re-
cherche circles. With aste-baskct
overskirt they may be worn either
morning or evening in the house.
The young-man-and- girl's-pa joke
holds its own, and is really one of the
most popular and fashionable seen in
polite society.
The mule jokes ,relcgated to The
cOmnoncr classes, and may really DC
called "old fashioned" 1t is still in
favor in the rural districts, and seems
destined to continue so for many
years.
The angry wife-at-3 o'clockin-the'
morning joke is not in such favor As
formerly, but still many insist upon
making it part of their daily wear
The liver-pad joke has almost dis
appeared. Occasionally. however, il
may he seen tied in with IL knot OF
ribbon quite pretiilr.
The honest politician joke is TOO
decollele TO be popular. If cnt high
in the neck it might reign for brlci
season.
The sleeping policeman joke had
many friends and babe fair to be.
come courly in its style, BUTT lacked
tone and fell into line with ordinary
style.
Puns are popular with all classes
They may be worn as bangles, and in
AN infinite variety OF ways.
The boarding-house pie, hash OF
gum shoe steak joke enjoys a period
ical renaissance and seems to retail
its original lustcr. When made VI
properly it is still favoritc.
The young husband-paregoric juk'
NAV he worn on evening occasions
and is not altogether out of style,
The fashion in other lines cOniinn
about the same as per last report q
course, with new demands come
new supplies, and, though there |
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05

Clears out rats, mice, reaches, flies ants, bed
luua


, Clears out rats, mice, reaches, nles ants bed
bugs.
Heart Pains,
Palptation, Dropsical Swcllngs, Dizziness,
Indigestion Headache, Slecpcsiness cured ny
wells Health Rrnrwer.'
though on earns"
Ask for Wells "Rough on Cons " l5c. Quick
complete cure. Hard or soft corn, warts,
buniOns.
"Buchu-Paiba."
Quick. complete cure, all Kidney. BLADDER
and Urinary Diseases, Scalding, Irritation,
Stone, Gravel, Catarrh Of the Bladder. u
Druggists.
Bcd-Dugs, Files.
Flies, reaches, ants, bcdbugs, rats, mice
goph"rs, chipmunks, Cleared ont by "Hougl'
ON Rats" ljc.
Thin People.
"Wclls' Health Rcnewer' restores health and
yigor, cures Dyspepsia, Impotence, Sexual De-
bility. 81.
Trough ON Pain"
Cures cholera, collie cramps, diarlhWa, aches
pains, sprains, headache, neuralgia, rhcuma'
tism. zoe. Rough ON Pain Plasters, l5c.
Mothers.
II You are failing, broken. worn out and
nervous, use "Wclls' Health Rcuewcr.' 81.
Druggists.
Life Prcserver.
II YOU are losing your grip on life, tr!
"WClls' Health Rcncwcr' Goes direct Il
weak spots.
Trough ON Piles"
Cures Piles or IIemorrhoids, Itching, Protrud
ing bleeding, Internal or other. Internal an'
External Remedy IN each package. sure cure
soc. Druggists.
Pretty Women.
Ladies who would retain freshness and vi
yacity, don't fail to try wells Health Renew
err
"Rough ON Itch"
"Rough on Itch" cures humors, eruption.
ringworm, letter, salt rheum, frosted feet, chill
hlains.
Trough on Catarrh."
Corrccts offensive odors AT once. Ccmplct
cure Of worst chronic cases, also unequal a
gargle for Diptherla, Sore Throat, Foul breath
| SOC.
The Hope of the Nation.
Children. slow in development, puny
scrawny and delicate, use "Wclls' Health Re
newer
Catarrh of the Bladder.
Singing, irritation, Inflammation. all kidnc
and Urinary complaints, cured by "Buchu
Paiba.' 81.
"water Bugs, Reaches"
Trough on Rats" clears them out, also Bee
ties, Ants.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05
He Was Honest.
Merchant Traveller. |

An ignorant man who had made
some money got caught in the hard
times and went under. The circum-
stances were such that some legal in
quiry was made and he was put on
the witness stand. After several in.
quiries the court asked:
"You are no longer in business p
"No, sir"
"You owe considerable money!"
eyes, sir"
care you insolvent?'
"Of course | amt. I'm busted
higher'n they hung IIayman. Dc
you take me for a thief?"
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05
When Dinner was a Failure.

The very best dinner is of no ac.
count to a man who has no appetite
for food. Mr.. Edgar W. Young, Of
Point Eastman, Va, was troubled
with lack of appetite and loss o
energy. lie trled many medicines
and several physicians. All were il
vain until physician told him Il
try Browns Iron Bitters. This hat
the desired effect and he can now ca
heartily and do his work with vigor
Take the hint, ifyou want TO enjo!
your dinner.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05
She Felt for the Other Woman
tIlarpcr's !

"IfI was dead and gone and you
had another wife, you'd find out how
gentle aud forgiving and patient I've
been You'd see then how I've ell
dured and put up with things"
"YOu've no immediate intention OF
giving me this opportunity ?"
"No, sir; hope I'm a Christian as
well as martyr, and I've too much
sympathy for the other woman"
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05
They are Not Sorry.

There is one thing nobody ever
rcgrets-that is, the day they first
adopted Parker's Tonic a. til, IT, ryu-
lar family medicine. Its range is -
wide, and its good effects ST. sure. that
nothing else, except good nursing, are
needed in great majority of eases.
Buy it, try it, aud atlcrward, it will
not require any praise from MS.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05
He Gave an Illustration.

$50 you say you were once chased
by Indians ?" said Ethelinda to hel
bashful lover George.
"Yes," replied George, "three of US
were chased an entire day by ban(
of hostiles."
"And YOU received no injury?"
"No. We got away from them
but it was pretty tight squeeze
"a what?'
"a tight squeeze"
"Whats that"
"You don't know what a tigh
squeeze is? Well, er-that is to say
BY Jove, you know-I, er-guess III
about time you did know. I-er-
will give you an illustration"
And he did.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05

Biblical chestnut: "Bredderen,
whah was de colorcd folks de mos
prominently mentioned in de Bible
"Xachariah, suh."
"Whalo? Whatn' you make dat
discrimination Of tie proposition?
kasG lac clum Il tree. He mus
have been Il coon.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05
Are Ycu Going to Kansas
Missouri, Colorado, Cali
fornia or Any of The
Western States?

II you should avail yourself of the
advantages that are now offered by
the Kansas City Route, the only di-
rect route from the South TO the
West and Northwest. This line runs
its entire trains, with Pullman Palace
Sleeping Cars aud free Reclining
Chair Cars, from Memphis to Kan
sas City, saving many hours time
over any other route. If you are go
ing YOU will save money by purchas-
ing your tickets via Memphis and the
Kansas City Route. Send for large
map of this Short Route mailed free.
Address,
j. Il. LOCKWOOD,
Kansas City, Mo.
Or. II. d. ELLIS, Ticket Agent,
81 Madison Street, Memphis, Tenn
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05

SEMI-WEEKLY SOUTH KENTUCKIAN
two dollars a year in advance.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05

m 0An nnNn presents gwen away.
ViIlIII ISCnd us cents postage, and
hIIII llIlllby mail You will get free y
lUI UUlUUlIpackagCO " goods OF large val
ne. that Will at once bring
You IN money faster than any.
thing else In America Al Hbout the S2O0, 900 In
presents with each box. Agent, wanted every
where, fcithcr scN uG all ages, FOR all the time
or spare time only, to work for us ut their own
homes. Fortune for all workers alI-olutcl, Ms
sured. Don't delay. II. HALLErr CO., Port
land. Maine. Drc2.iGm.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1885-06-05
ssNLWEEgLy SOUTH EENTVEEIAN,
NASHVILLE STREET.
HOPKINSVILLE, KENTUCKY
CLUB LIST.

We will furnish the following papers ana pc
riolicalI with the SEMI WEEKLY SOUTH hEN-
rI.nrI 4 n IhIn snhinlnnl chnln rlLts.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19
\ nEsoINngR.
lrrum tAe ArIeaaa eat!ssn.l


 IL IS noticeable feature of those Territorial newspapers that pretend to champion the cause of the military against the criticisms ot the unprsju- diced and non-subsidiaed press, that they produce no argument whatever in support of their position, relying only on inyective and abstract charges of prejudice and ignorance. While the Citzen has feaflessly and openly criticised the action of Gen. Crook, it has always been as ready to give him credit for meritorious deeds. We have not harshly criticised his acts without giving abundant and unanswerable reasons therefor. Not particle of malice has prompted our words, and we have often said harsh things with q feeling of sorrow that the truth would not permit softer words. This paper has never ridiculed the troops in the field, for they are not free agents They brayely perform the duty assigned them, no matter what hardships and priyations t demands of them. Our criticism has been com fined to those who guide the military movements and are responsible for uu. reasonable delays and blundering tac- ties The dihenty of hunting down even handful of hostile Apaehes is. realized but the lack of vigilance that has made it necessary to hunt them down is what the Citizen has and does condemn. The present trouble is the rational outgrowth Of Gen. Crooks unholy and unmilitary compact in the Sierra Madres, and this cannot De de. nied truthfully. That compact per- mitted the rencgades to return to the reservation with their bloody hands still clinging to the booty of which they had robbed their victims; they were also allowed to retain their arms; given opportunity to obtain plenty of government ammunition; fattened up and fully prepared for another raid at government expense, through the terms of that Sierra Madre compact which saved General Crooks life at the cost of thoss of scores of our toil- ing and innocent settlers. This is the ! burden of our criticisms of Gen. Crook. When he has fought and achieved victory over the Indians, we have rejolced as heartily as hIs most ardent armirers, and will do so again. But the record he has made, and that which We criticise. without favor or ! prejudice, is the cause of our present Indian troubles, and the fact is well known to every sensible person in 1 Arizona who chooses to see and to hear.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19
 TEE RERuaLIc Mssr GE rNcRArErUL.

Mr. H, w. Van Arman Secretary of the Territory of Arizona, who has late. ly found an impeachment in his way in the shape of tho first Comptroller of the currency, is one of the Repubi. can officials still holding the fort out in the Territories. Mr. Van Arman has been considerably indignant be- cause the Comptroller refused to let him have money for the government. That is the way he puts his grievance to Judge Durham, and he told the Comptroller it was very strange that his endeayor to reduce the govern ment's expenses should result in put ting the whole cost on him. He re- calves money from tho treasury in the shape of drafts on the San Francisco sub-treasury, and in q recent case, in stead of having the money shipped out to Arizona by express, at an expense of S200 in that particular case, he had the treasury draft discounted by an Arizona bank at a cost of only Sl00. This looked like a very commendable proceeding and yet section of the Revised Statutes specifically provides is respect to such transactions that no charges for dlseounting drafts shall De allowed any disbursing officer, and Judge Durham had no option but to dlsallow this item in Van Arman's se- count. Ii seemedaa hard case until an Arizona gentleman called at the Comp. troller's office and said that drafts on San Francisco always command a pre- mium iH Arizona, so there was no reason for Mr. Van Arman to allow any discount in cashing his treasury draft. Meanwhile Van Arman is on his way back to Arizona. It is said he left his resignation on file and de- clared that he would not accept any office in Washington, wouldn't iu fact hold any office under the present gov ernment, and couldn't think of vast ing any more of bis time in office. Before he made this declaration he had been informed that there were eighteen applicants for the position of Governor, fourteen for surveyor-Gen- eral and eight fer the oiRee which be has relinquished, that of Secretary of the Territory. It isspggested that his peculiar transaction in discounting his treasury draft may be due to the fact that he is interested in an Arizo- na bank, which wishes to be made q national depository.-St. Louis Re- publican.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

The %ollie Maguires fire-bugs and murderers have again organized in Luzsrn county, Pennsylvania, The constituted authorities, so far, have failed to afford citizens and coal com. nies protection to life and property. The Molhes are secret in their opera. tions, and when they designate a vic tim, or where 8 torch or dynamite Is 10 be applied, some one of the band is selected and ordered to do the hellish job. A few years since detectives un- earthed them, which resulted in sev- eral of the ring leaders being tried and executed by Judgment of law.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19
SUMMONS.

In the pistTict CauTt, Second Judicial Dis triCt, Territory of Arizona, in and for the County of Gils.
 John II Eaton, Plaintiff. yS J. ". Eddy and Isabella 4. Eddy his wife, Defendants.
 Action brought iu the District Court of the Second Judicial District of the Territory of Arizona. in and for the County of Gila, and the complaint filed in said County of Gila, in the ciiee 0f the Clerk Of said District Court. The Territory Of Arizona sends greeting to John ". Eddy and Isabella A Eddy, Defen. dants:
 You are hereby summoned and required to appear in atl acti1n brought against you by the sboye-named Plaintiff, in the District Court of the Second Judicial District of the Territory of Arizona, Tn and Tor the County of Gila, and answer the complaint filed with the Clerk of this Court Rt Globe, in said County iacopy Of which complaint accompanies this SuinmonsI within twenty days iexclusiye Of the dag ef seryicel after the service upon you of this Summons, ii served in this county; but fl served out of the county md within this District, then within thirty days, in all other cases forty days, in this case sixty days, og judgement hg default will be taken against you according tn the prayer of said complaint. And you lre hereby notified tbeti if you fail to appear and answer the said complaint, as above required, the said Plaintiff win apply ts the court for the relief demanded in said com plaint This action is brought to enforce mcchanics lumber merchants lion on thas cer- tain building or frame dwelling hoase erected and now being upon that certain lot or parcel of land situate, lying and being in the town 5f Globe, Gila County Arizona Territory. more particularly dcscribed as follows, to.wit Part of block sixty-six (G6 in said town of Globe according to the official mp of said Globe. nace by Pendlstofl and WAllace, suryeyors, June 1852, to obtain judgment of this court for the sum of SS6S 75 with interest at the rate pf ton per cent per annpm from October 2Srd 1888, with. five per cent stationery fees and all ccsts of this suit, for decree nf this court directing sale of the property herein. before described in the manner provided by law for the enforcement of liens to satisfy said judgment and costs snd that execution may isaae for any dc6ciel.cy, ana casts and dis. burseFncuts in this behaif expended
 ~- Given under my hand and the
 sEAL. Seal Of the District Court 0f the SS-- Second Judicial District of tho Ter. ritory of Arizona, h and for the CNunts of Eiia, this t7tll day of August A D fSs5
 B. [. AlcsINNlS, Clerk.
 By B. c Fox Deputy Clerk " F. GEiFTIN Plaintiff Attorney
 Aag22-l0w
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Judge Krekel, of the U. s. court, Jefferson City, Missouri, instructed the grand jury and read to them Sec, $40 of the United States statutes in regard to conspiracies and construed it as applicable to persons attempting to carry into effect 2 strike which re- suits in the detention of the U. s. mails and therefore indictable as an oifense against the laws of the United States. This the St. Louis Republican construes as in favor ol corporations and blow at workiugmen's associa- tioas.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

A suit is about being brought by q son.in-law of Rafel Ruelas, for the major part of the business portion of El Paso, Texas, on which are many costly buildings. The ground for which the suit is based comprises about lO0 acres, It is a Mexican grant. The title, 1t is said, is clear and that documentary proof is extant to sufi- ciently establish the claim, notwith- standing the fact that the land has been declared public domain by the state of Texas, sold and patented to Joseph Magotiin, once 8 resident of RI Paso, but long since dead. The wit. nesses to the execution of the grant are still living, and reside in Passo del Norte, Mexico, The grantee, Real as, resides in Mesilla, New Mexico. While the grant may appear sufi- eiently clear upon its face, it may not convey title for the reason that much depends upon the conditions stipu- lated in the grant.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Senator Malone recently, when in an irats mood, in Petersburg, Virgin ia, undertook to cowhide a young Democrat of that place, but came out second best. He was taken by the beard, shook until his teeth rattled, and dared to utter another abusive word or strike q blow. Knowing that discretion is the better part of yalor he became suddenly dumb, and his nerYsless arm refused it's previous bidding to whip tho offending Demo crat within an inch of his life"
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Riels counsel will apply to the Goyernorseneral for respite in order that the matter may be referred to the Imperial Priyy Council, Riel can notbe hanged until the Governor orders tho execution. Strong pres sure is being brought to bear to save Riel's neck The two point to be urged are tho question of the consti- nationality of the court and the plea of insanity.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19
ro rmr r4nrns nr csrA cerNrY.

Having been appointed by the Di. reetors of the Arizona Industrial Ex- position Association to take charge of the Household Department, l must respectfully solicit the ladies of Gila county that they take an active part in this Exposition,
 While the gentlemen are engaged in their speed ring and exhibits of minerals, agricultural products, etc, let tho ladies be on tho alert and show to those in attendance what woman can do in her department, and al- though In Arizona, that we are not behind the times in our fancy work, fruits, etc. Last year we had . good display from all parts of the Territo- ", and if each lady will take sufficient interest to send something, be 1t ever so httle, we can have an improvement this. Come to the front ladies, and let your county be well represented. We have as intelligent, industrious and accomplished ladies as any in the land let us verify this assertion by our display at tue Second Annual ES- position in Phoenix.
 As some goods were late in arriving
 N last year and oeoasioned little incon. yepienee, and as mails are at present irregular, I would recommend to the ladies that they ship their goods to the secretary in due time; better little early than day late.
 Respectfully,
 Mpg " HA4
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

From the Judge of the district court at Hermosilla we learn that Caiame, the Yaqui chief, recently held q conn cil ot war with ten representatives of the Yaqui tribe, and ten of the Mayos. The object was to take measures to prepare for a renewal of the war with the Mexicans We also learn that the private secretary of Caieme is Frenchman. --Nogalos Frontier.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19
''l'-'--'

John Austin of Summeriield, Ills, left his home thirty years ago for Cali fornia and never being heard from was supposed to bo dead. He at last returned 10 sammerfcld in search of bis sister A notlca of inquiry in the lobe-Democrat coming under the eye of tho sister, has led to their meeting in St. Louis.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Thursday. September 17ti, com pleted four month since the Cbirica- huas left their encampment near Fort Apache, and have been murdering citizens of Arizona, New Mexico and Mexico ever since. While the citizens have previously suffered, the govern- rnent has been heavily taxed to main tain, so fur, fruitless.pursuit.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

If yet alive or bring them home and bury them if dead, On arriving at the saw mill they found tho family, and procuring a team at stinson's place, sent the woman and children to MT. Hicks they then continued to fol- low up the murderous redskins, but night overriding them they had to camp, This morning they were met by Captain Cecil with fifteen men who came over from the fort The men with Mir. Hefey returned home, ar irving here wcrn out at l D. m.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Now that the Chirieahnas have re- entered New Mexico from Sonora, Gen. Crook in order to hoodwink the American people into the belief that he is a great general will necessarily be obliged 10 detail another officer to assist his late adiutant, Capt. Bourke, in writing him up.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Two of the Lee brothers, who in then brief murderous career had killed forty-two persons, were them selves killed by officers, near Gains yille, Texas, on the sth while resisting arrest. The aggregated rewards for the apprehension Of the Lees, dead or alive, amounted to $7, 900.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Don Piatt, late editor of the Wash- ington Capitol, is now in court, in Cincinnati, for m alleged failure of promise to pay board and incidental expenses of his mistress, Mary Bunk hauseri and bis and her illegitimate daughter.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19
........s........s.........sls.rn

A recent attempt was made to dyn
 amise the premises of 5 Afr. Clark, in Tombstone. It is laeky for the fiend that bis identity has not been dls- covered, else he would nave become the principal figure of a hanging bee.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

S20O OOO sSs.s.s :.s'. '.ss syss :ss " y N. v A4D v " wiil ct vHEE package Of goods Of large value, that will start you in work that will It once bring you in money fasteT tlan anything else m America All about the S2oss 900 in pfesents with each box. Agents wanted everywhere, of either sex. for all the tina cs spare time only, to work f0r t# at their own homes Fortunes faf III workers absn. lntely assured Don't delay II. BALLFr < Go, Portland, MAino fet2l iy
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Notwithstanding the frequent con tradictions, there is not q doubt but that the yellow fever IS epidemic at Guaymas, and also prevails to q lim- ited extent at Hermoallo.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

The news Of the Chiricahuas again raiding southwestern New Mexico, md elsewhere referred 10 in this is- sue, is exciting.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

The Silver City Enterprise reiter- ates its charge that Captain 0yertor showed the white feather, and repro bates Gen, Miles for his white wash. ing report approving overton's con. duet. Ii says Miles report is an insult to the army.
Arizona silver belt., 1885-09-19

Our free and independent nation is greatly elated by the result of q yacht race, in which Yankee Doodle's Puri- tan kept its stern n sight of Johnny Bulls Genesta throughout the race.