The Hazlehurst signal., 1885-09-10
FUN on a TRIM.
a~s r~ain ze.,s II nis Tss-.ii~s E,pv

A~s T~aia ze.is If His Tssrsiiss EzPsrt-
encc.
1 got into tho cars and took n seat In
iuxtapoition to n female. That females
face wasa perfect insurance company
IL insured her aSainAt ever getting mar
ried TO Anybody but blind man. Her
mouth looked like q crack In dned
lemon, and there was no moreexpression
In her fnco than there is in cup OF cold
sustard. She appeared rs though she
had been through ono famine and had
got about two-thirils through another.
She was old enough to DO grcat-grand-
mother TO Mary that had the little lamb.
she was chewing prize popcorn. and
carried yellow rose with a handbook
ani cotton umbrella nestled sweetly by
her side couldn't guess whether she
was mission Of charity. or going West
TO start saw. mill. / was full OF curl.
osity to hear her speak, so
"The exigencics OF the tim's require
great circumspeehon in person who u
travelling"
Says she, "whati"
Says !, "The orb Of day shines TO
splendent in the vault above"
She hitched around uneasy like, then
she raised her umbrella and said, ~
don't want any OF your sass-get out,
and got out.
Then took a seat alongside Of male
fellow, who looked like ghost Of Ham,
Let heightened ont. He was stately.
looking cuss, and he was reading.
Said ]. "Mister, did you ever see q
camelopard'" 7 said camelopard be-
cause it is apious animal, andnever eats
grass without getting down on his knees.
He said he hadn't seen camelopard.
Then saidI:
"Do you chewf"
He said, "No. sir"
Then said, Glow sl,st 10 naturel :"
He took this for conui drum and said
he didn't know. Then he said he was
deeply intSrestcdin the history OF a great
man. "Alasl" no exclaimed, 1--WE are
but fewl"
/ told him 1 knew one, "the man
that made my cooking stove was a great
man."
Then he asked. "Would read7"
Says i. "what have you got1"
He replied: WAITS Hymns, Reveries
by Moonlight, and How to Spend the
sabbath"
I said, "NoGc Of them for Hannah,
but If he had an unabridged business
directory OF New York city would take
a little read"
Then he said: "Young man, look at
these gray hNirs."
told him / saw them, and that when
q man got 10 be ~ old rs he was he
ous,. 20 hc. Said I. "You needn't
think those grey hairs arc any signs o!
wisdom it is only sign that your sys-
TEN lacks iron, and advise you to 60
aud swallow a crov-bar."
Ho took this for irony, and what little
entente cor,liale there was between uswss
spoiled. II turned out that no was .
chaplain of baseball club.
When we got 10 Rochester called for
bowl of soup. 1 send YOU the recipe
Cor making il. Take lot of water, wash
il well, and boil it until it is brown on
both sides: then carefully pour one
bean into i. aud let it simmer. When
tho bean begins TO get restless sweeten
1, with salt; then put il up in alright
cans, hitch each can to a brick and
chuck them overheard, and the soup Is
done.
The above recipe originated with
man in Iowa. who got up suppers on
odd occasions for Odd-Fellows. He had
recipe for oyster soup, leaving out tho
salt.
Speaking Of Iowa reminds me Of the
way go. my money to pay for my ticket
and that fellows supper. / bet fellow
Q dollar that could tell him how much
water to quart went under the railroad
bridge over the Mississippi at Dubuque
In year. won the bet, but, after oil,
the supper was an awful swindle.
Dubuque is celebrated for its ano
turnouts ON the streets; while I was
there wagon upset and spilled lot OF
women. / didn't see it I looked the
other way. No carda