davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
ANOTHER COLLEGE MAN.,

When the new reporter, just from -eol- lege, started out to write up fro, the fellows who had for may years bean in the harness, smiled, and the managing editor, hearing of the joke, laughed and said: "Now we shall have thrilling account of the destruction of Rome. It is pity our Greek font of type is not h working order. He could tell as of all the great fires of Athens"
 The young reporter came in after awhile, and without running his fingers through his hair or muttering in Latin, sat down and wrote the following:
 ~Last night about eleven o'clock an alarm of fire was sounded. The city was not thrown into an intense state of ex- citement neither did any of our brave 6remsn risk their lives. By the time the engines arrived the house, an oldras- nest, situated in the eastern part Of town, was almost destroyed. It is not believed that the fire was the work Of an incen- diary, neither does the impression that 1t resulted from defective aue, prevail to any great extent."
 The managing editor, when he read the paragraph, turned to the new re- porter and said: "You viii make your mark, sir. Come into this room," point- ing. " Take the position of city editor. 1"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
TAKES niM TO TASK.

"I see" said a EssIishmsa, "tkss Richard Grant Whlis declares that % matter how iong Cornwall or yosksAirs man lives is this coasssy hs esanes gss ..A cs she pecnliArifiss of speech whicA he took up h infsacy. This is mistake. 1 'sve only been 'sFs ten yeass and caa dsceive any one as to the plaes of my nativs 'oms."
 Probably Mir. White did sos think of you," some one replisd.
 Yes, bss whss right 'ss e to make sseh assestiossf i'Admit that thsFs are great many of us who continas to drop our haichss shsr coming to this coastsy, but yos oaIy find t smcng nasa who ssvsr stop b think. H whits, shsaid talk to me, I'd simply say Mi Whits, git houi. You don't knew goo1 Eaglish from an ole in sks erpunds"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
sos yallar barber. lookln' nigger by dc krn. tWhnrN Mirr>a Nanolnonp p ssa

sct yallar barber. lookin' ntgger by dc 6re. 'Whars Mines Napolsoar s'I. Doan know sr lady by dat name,' sea 70. Jcsp den Liza she come inter de room. l stepped up tor brace her. but wheslin' roun', she said: George. doan yer see Aow dis man is CT actin ? 'Heah, ole ssller,' says de hareer.lookin' nigges, whut does yer mean by eomln' in er CT mans house an actin Gis way. Get ous now sa' 90 on boat yer business. Ain yer gOln'r He hi.ched kss hAn' some whar bout de skruff CT my nalk, an out 1 went. Dis % 'stonished me dat vsat ober ter nsighbor's house an' axed s'wAo dat man in yandetG' "'Lixa's husbAn'.'
 Whutf'
 !" les like tells ysE.' s'i doan un 'srstan' d.s hssk :..y=.- sicn."
 @sWall. yer ses. azteE yer went erway, Llsa psupsd ds, ysF'd goss vss 1;;.sS.sss. , an isF her an' de eout gin her sr'voree. Den che married Mr. Sylvester. He's CT mighsy thritsy man, Sylvester is. He tuck yes money an hab started er mighty 6ne barber shop
 Now," continued Mr. Napoleon, I =as.es As de advice Q er mAn whus am elose ter headquarters. Kaias ds gabass call out ds msnishy on ercouat er dIs fackr'
 "Doan ses how he ken." SWall, sass how hs kea. De eoa- s.ertushun Q ds country says dss when d. cibll law beats . msn oussn hls prep srty sn' wife, wy den de msslishy iaw comes inter force an As'ps de outraged pussoa. Oh, I'se studied de p'ints."
 "i b'lebes yer's right" replied the sec retary of state. "When de gubnsr comes in, sill dispose wid uddsr business an confer wid him on dc intevestin' sub jsck."
 @Tse CT thousan' times eTbleeged ter yer.'
 "No, sr tall not CT tall. Always willin' ter hep CT man when he gits in dat fix. Gin me CT dollar"
 "Whut furr
 De metrckerlation fec. Goes ter dc state"
 "Heah's de money, sah. Yer mus 'scuse me fur my 'auisitiveness. Good mawnin'. Dosn furgit"
 "i woat. Will confer wid de gubner at once. Fifty cents mose. Vas, fur de chancery court Thankee, sah."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
FELT BETTER.

A tramp. tc be successful in hls bud. ness, must he something ef an eioeusloa- iss. The appeal ai a strong voice Is fatal to success. and the utter exhaussloa fsiensd by a buriy msa falls with ludi- csoas effect. There must bs an lnser- mediate intoaaiiuss-- sosss=hssA kssweea q low, sweet whlne aud a sone ef osdia- asy emotion.
 "Cant you help me q little 2" asked . fellow who had climbed three flights of stairs. He was broad-shcuidsred and raddy wisA the warm ausA of health. but hts voice was soh and low, like the exp,r. ing and hopeless wh!spsr of Adrlenns Lacouvre when she has but . few mo. menss to live. Help you . little r' exclaimed tho mas to whom the appeal had been made. "Ysa. sis. am sick and the doctor says that cannct live loae." Hts voice sank lnto . low whins aad be tried to make his throal rattle.
 "Why doa't you get the wosks ot ca old clock asd carry 'sm undss yous coat ?"
 "Hahs" gaspsd .As tramp, leaning e the railing. "Ges the wosks ol a old clock and touch 'sm ea when you wans your ,hsoa, se rattle. How dld yos %, up the stairs y
 "l erawled ap."
 "Deat you shiak you could crawl ae~a ?" "No, sis; am too tired" "weIl, eoms ous and m help you to lall down. What seems Co bs the matter with you ?" f
 Dumb chills."
 "of course. You are too iasy to have any other kind. Weren't you arrested yesterday
 "Yes, siT." "Whas fos y'
 We'll, str, 1 was co weak that ( drug gist gave me some whisky, and N vent to my head"
 "Yes, oh yes. l saw yos. lt took three policemen to drag you to the lock. up. don't think that you are in any immediate danger. Death may fay hands on you bat she'll have to bs Ee-ln- Sorcsd bsiors she can drag you down. I've got ton ot coal down stairs. How much will you charge to bring t ap1"
 "i can't llft--"
 An right I've got jug q excellent whisky here. Thoaght i'd--"
 "Whsss do yoa want yoaf coal, eap'n 2 feel little bsstes pow."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
TWO PICTURES.

Conespondence showing how the se. groes are kept from voting in the south Stand back there! ]" exclaimed . lona haired man, drawing a pistol. AYos shan't vote unless you vote the dsmo. cratic ticket" The poor old negro, patriotic and devoted to principle, rs- piled:
 @Wail, boss, ef kAint vote CT my con- scieDce tells me ter, wons vote sstall, and sadly he moved away while brutal shout from the democrats rent the air.
 The truth "Look hsre, old maa, !" said . democrat slyly tsiisg hold of . negro man, how are going to voss r
 !" De 'pabiican ticket, saA."
 Nov, here, you want to vots fos ms. How mach did fhose othx kilovs givs you
 "Seventy-f' cents.
 "rT give ysu . dollAs not to voss."
 Pss ysr man, boss. 1 aint anxious ter vote nohow.n
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
WHY Hs cAME.

Bsssen eosssy has ssns ehassetss ts the issislssass s--Uscis zsek Batsr-s mas vhe has sessAs tke gxiszly, aa1 vke, b his yossgss dsss. cosId pes his jsdg. msns en sqssst q nesssaia hilasity, asd malss | look Aposssfai scscas
 Srvs got - passicsias ambitios sow," sid tis s;d maa dsFisg csssssssess vitA . parry q lsissds. "i dsa's sspscs so cAaage ths eusssss sf fhs Askaneew sivsr pss pick sp ths sssss hoass cd, shsts t Eks yessS Asg pisyin' vi1b . stsaw has. Ny mais object aow ' se collect tho mossy that ny fiss1s e0s me"
 sWhy did you come ss the Ise3sIAr tuss2" soms ons asaed.
 Si osIy have oss purposs: To dss~' my per dism asd faiI baeks
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
PAID THE DEBT.

The following true incident was pub iished by the local papers years ago, bu, being true, and having been crushed to earths rises agaia:
 In Van Buren there once lived an old gensseuan of the name of John Bost;ck He kept hotel and vas also proprietor of blacksmith shop. A well-known minister, Rev. Mir. Buchanan, who al. ways put up with Bossick, met the hotel man on the street one day, affer having staid all night with him, and said:
 @WeaI, Uncle John, how much do owe your
 "Ose me for what, Brother Buck p
 Why, you know have staid all might vith yoa." @Yes, Brother Back, bat you know that never charge preachezs."
 q imow that, Uncle Joha, but ! had my horse shod.s
 " BrothsT Buck, l never charge a pssaeAss Sor shseing his horse"
 q l doat vsnk work done for nothing, I said ths pssacAE.
 T Well, BssGher Buck, just remember me in your prayeEs."
 @An night Uncle John, but as have always adhered to the rule ef never leav- ing place h debt get down on your knees and ven have prayers right new"
 The two men knelf oa the sidewalk and the debt vas psid.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
"Why did you get on that calf; say P "Av-Av--Avery made me"

way oid you get on tnat cAAts say
 "Av-Av-Avery made me"
 %Didnt do any such . thing, nav. He said that if he had saddle he would ride him, an said that he couldn't # he had a saddle, an he said he could Fide him anyhow, an when the calf went h the corner he climbed oa the fence an' ! tried to pull him of an he jumped on the calf and"
 Young Mulkittlc could stand t no longer. Springing from his mothers side, he struck Avery in the face, siesed him by the hair, jesked him down be- tween trunk and the wall and before the excited women could drag him away, he had kicked Avery and bloedied his face. When the boys had been separ- arased the women drew themselves up and looked at each other.
 "Don't you say a word to mel" said Mrs. Patterson.
 ~oA Ae.'. he AiermAd," Mra- Mni- kittle replied. "i have no desire to talk to woman who has such a son. Tried to kill my poor csild with calf"
 "My son is net . murderer, and yours is," snapped Mn. Patterson. n you don't like that Mir. Patterson will settle 1t with your husband"
 "Oh, my husband. like nay son, is quite enough to settle any of the Patter- sons. Good day, madam" bowing with mocking grace. "I shall never enter your house again and when you coms to town to spend . few days, as yoa often do, hope you will remembes that we are not keeping house merely for ths accommodation of country clod-hoppess Good day, madam"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
WILL DIE HARD.

Boy that will die hard" Pa, when is the legislature like Iot of Chinamen P
 Fashsr-aftsr scrutinising his son to sse f hs showed evidences of insaaisy-- "i don't ksow what yoa are talking about When is the Legislature like { lot of Chinamen, indeedf You must be crazy"
 Boy-"No, 1 aint. When h meets in joint session, you know"
 Fashss-sgain scrutnIring the boy "A very ordinary funeral will be good enough Sor you."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
KEEPS HIS WORD.

"Yss, that's all very tTus," said mas ia reply to friend who had spoken veil of an acquaintance, "but Jackson is co deucsdiy stingy."
 But his other good qualities more than cover thss social dsfset It cannot be denied that he is honest, and shst he keeps his word"
 "oh, yes, hs keeps his word. He kssps everything. Thsfs the tsoubls. Too stingy to give his word.s
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31

ON steamboaf in the soufh. Psssen- ger to the captain: "Who is shsf quise old eesdemaa? What . pleasant faos he has. m bet he never had . hassh thought nor uttered an uspIeasanf vosd.s 7 captain-s Thsf old fellow7 Wy tAses Bob Tocmbs.S
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31

The KssAse3y Sksks /oAysai ssays that Andrew Jscksss cosId not spslI say bst~ su thas Josh Dii1ings. Hs ceald not spsn e vel. fos Josh, vhss hurried, sonseimss spslis wosd copscsay. HniU sss wony sever forced Jacisos to ssch q ex1rsmity.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31

General Grants account of the battle esShiloaA k not vivid, but it is business. like. In the hand of military man, the pea is not 90 mighty as the sword.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31

@What win be the drink of the future p asks Mir. Moody. There will doubtless be many drinks among which whisky will loom up prominently.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
DIE THAT WAY.

Nsv Yosks to lri&sA--"I dSa't be- iisvs tbe Daily Giss Pef viii rus msch iose@."
 rssesA-s Whv I"
 "Wdl, ths psopsisson havs jsst rs- fussd ese hssAsed and twsssy. 8vs fheasanA d0iiasS Sos t. An great dailiss h Nsw yosk AIs tkas way, yoa ksov."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31
VOL. 6. NO. 10.
LrMNIN0s.

Information wanted by the editor of this paper" Is a suggestive heading of an advertisement in an Arkansaw ex- change.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31

In the legislature MT. Speaker, arise to a point of order"
 Half asleep member -" I'll take scu'
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31

Obituary of . Chicago editor @He rose gradually from an obscure position until he could mark of more credits in a day than any other man in inc o;,es, which rare ability won for him deserved distinction"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-01-31

"The Bcssobtans," new novel by Henry James, is begun in the current number of the CessS.y magazine. To take up the works of our leading novelists foreigner would naturally believe that there is but one town in the United States. Mir. Howells is all Boston and Mir. James is more than all Boston. The village of New York is shamefully slighted.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05
NENpHIS & LITTLE ROCK RAILWAY

Ths popular and reliable route, with its tw, double daily passenger tralas, 10 the direct 9nek eat route to all potnta East. South koutheNst Close connections al lisue Hoek and Nemphts Pullman alcepcrs ou night uAius. Ouiy chanSs from Little koek tu New York. Five hours 1alcket than any other route. epecisl Inducements easres tn eIniErants.
 THOMAS ErsRx,
 Land Commissioner. i.ltlls RoaA. The great through rvlph line between tIttis Rocs and Eastern eiCas Cincinnati, Loaavtlls, MesaphIa etc,
 Through etlls ct ,Adina to all points. domestic foreign.
 For nali Information, with mAps. schedules, rates etc., apply to
 n, C ROBERTS,
 0enr Pass. and TloAat ARe \. K. SHELBY,
 Receiver ( 6enr Manager, ttt,e Ro~h Ara
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05
ECONOMIZED MIRTH.

The weather is extensively partisan.-- Oil City Blizzard.
 The falls profit is dead-at Niagara N<v Fork Journal
 The cup that inebriates but doesn't cheer-Hiccup.- .-Lyt.
 A worth. old maid-one worth S6o GOO or more.- Clinton BIgIf.
 An oculist always has an eye to the main chanoe.-BoStos BHdgeI.
 Taking the cents of the meeting-pass- ing around the hat 7txaJ .SJ/Tnes.
 Beware of limitations" as the monkey said to the dude Burlington Free Pr<si.
 The toper demonstrates the motto tha, there is always rum at the top."- Kos- kers Cazefke.
 It is said the oldest record in the con- sular service is that of the man who was at Victoria, B. C. Ns Judge.
 A diamond merchant may speak of his goods as being of the purcst water, but the milkman may not-B0stos Cosrie>.
 A writer says: The American girl thinks for herself" And after marriage she frequently thinks for her husband. = Noyrisfov1 Herald.
 The emperor of Anam keeps his specie sunk in a lake They have go: the idea of watering capital even there, 1t seems. -OH City Deryiek.
 It is said divorces are multiplying. Il, cannot DC true, however, as a divorce from its very nature must be dividing Bing AassfOn RtpH6li6as.
 There may or may not be sermons in stones," but many 6rSt-claSs clergy men seem to ge. pile of rocks " out of their sermons - Whitehall Timer.
 There are two sides to every qu .stion, and as sure as you're born the other m an, by some blundering fatality, always takes the wrong side.-B,ookys Eagle.
 Canned fruits date back to Pompeii.r ? It will not be hard for the young man who boards to believe that they date back even farthen than that.-N. Y. Graphic
 If there is anything that ~eakens man when he is tipping his hat to a lady, it's to have a collector present the bill for the aforementioned -Eva1svtile A,gSs.
 A cyclone is like a waiter. It carries everything before n-Cay! PrefzeFs Weekir. Yes, but what I difference there IS in the rate of motion. = .S>nsey- vil!s Journal
 "Is confidence in mankind on the in- crease9" asks the Baltimore Z<Legrabh. Leave watermelon on your front steps over night and make a test case.-Chf- eago Tribune.
 A great deal has been written about learning to say no. If you would teach 8 man to say no, just ask him "f he would like to pay that little bill to- dzy.o -Skockk0s Navfriek.
 "Why don't you challenge him, Col cnel2"
 Because dueling is against the law in this stase," replied the colonel but if ever get a good chance I'll assassinate him. ."-N<zv Yoyk SHS.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05
Dangerous Bowel Disorders.

Now that bowel disorders, such as cholera, cholera morbus, diarrhGa a. looseness, pains in the bowels, etc, are prevalent all over the country, all should prepare for sudden emergencies. Mans fields" Mississippi DiarrhGa Cordial i, the standard remedy. It has stood the test of untold thousands for upwards oi thirty years and has never failed in sim gle instance. Every steamer plying the Father of Water" carry IL and rely up- on it exclusively for the cure of bowel dis orders. One dose often alters the secre- tions, heals and cures, and few doses never fails. Have it handy. IL is safe, reliable and the best remedy of the kind in the world. Sold by all druggists. Pre- pared by the Mansfield Medicine Co, Memphis, Tenn.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05
The March of the White Man.
London Spectator l

Among the little noticed but most inn portant facts in the history of the world is the enormous recent increase in the number of white men in it. It is barely two centuries (IoS3) since those races though even then the most energetic oi mankind, formed but small fraction in the total of humanity probably ten per cent. of the whole-and were by no means certain that they could defend themselves against the rem ainder. The white races in and out of Europe, under the influence of some still mysterious call upon their energies, have multiplied nearly threetold, and are today, as MT. R Gifien has shown in his recent address to the statis- tiCal society, APO 900 900. As there is DO evidence of any corresponding increase in the dark races, and as, indeed, such in- crease has been, outside India, nearly im- possible, the white men are now, by the best calculations, one-third of the entire population of the world, instead of being, as they were only two centuries ago, a little more than ten per cent They have, moreover, if anything increased in physi- cal strength, and have so developed in brain and consequent power of organiza- tic., that it may be doubted if the whole remainder of mankind even if all were reduced to equal weapons, could seriously injure the white third, which again, if it chose to act together and employ without pity the weapons it's intelligence has en- abled it to construct, could in a few years reduce the remainder of the world to an uninhabited desert. They have lately taken to conquering Africa, and are en- tering it at hundred points at once seizing, almost silently, certainly without serious effort, huge slices like French Africa, South Africa, Madagascar, the vast valley of the Niger, and the stiil more extensive region drained by the system of rivery called the Congo. Nor is there much reason to believe that the process will soon be checked. for the white men are urged forward by an ire sistAbie spur over which they have no control. The increase of the yellow race, which must once have been so incredibly fast, has stopped, and that of the dark races of India, which far a century has been amazing, is being checked by recur- rent kmin8 but that of the white peo- pie goes on 90 fast that the transport of a hnge army every year across the Allan tic makes no impression on their num- bers, and at their present rate of increase they will in 1894 be thousand millions, or much more than half of then existing ma.k;nd.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05
Nervous Debili,a,ed Men

You are allowed /,es Trial s/ Ai,y dayS of the use of Dr. Dyes Celebrated Voitaic Belt with Electric Suspensory Appliances, for the speedy relief and per- mAnent cure of Nervous Debility, loss of Vitality and Manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also, for many other diseases. Complete restoration to health, ugor and manhood guaranteed. No risk is incurred. Illustrated pamphlet, with fall information, terms, etc, mailed free by addressing voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05
He Couldn't Drink It.
Merchant Traveller.

A democratic office holder vent oh on summer vaction, and oae of his friends visiting the city inquired for him.
 He's gone away" said the clerk in charge
 "Where In
 "Down to the sea shore"
 (" To the sea shoreI What does he want to go where there is so much water for? 1 thought be was a dyed-in-the- wool democrat"
 "Oh, that's all right. It's salt water, you know"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05
OLD OCEANS DAUGHTER.
BY cHAnLks K. BOLTON.

Along the shore little child. Upon her knees wAs playing; Was langhing al the surGes wild, Al what the waves were saying; The breexes blew her golden hair, And with her dress they bouAd her, Fer cheeks were red with salt sea air, And there the ocean found her. Old Father Sea came up the beach, she quickly fed tn laughter; He slowly sank beyond her reach, She followed nimbly after; And SO upon the bright sea sands, Old Ocean gave his greeting He. ever loving, held his hand, She timid e'er retreating.
 -HoRS IoEIna.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05

Menu-This was the name sf justly famous man who invented the restaur- ant. The Institufions of Menu" thus became popular throughout Hindustan. Between Menu and the gste-post he was greater man than Gusszma--Ckfeago CHrYesk
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05

They play base bah in Siberia and it's . cold day, no matter which club gets lef.-Baskos Posf.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1885-09-05
FOR THE WEST

There are . number of roatrs leading to ,he aeave mentioned s2cttoa but the direct and retiA hte ia vtA et. Louis Aad over Ihe Missouri raciAe hal way. The two traias daily are run nun the 0rAas ualoa Detot, st. Louie to kAnsaa Vtty, LeAveA worth, Atchieoa. kt Joseph and OynAhA PutimAn Palace Sleeping Cars sf the very anes make are attached Ia all trAina.
 At kAnaAa C9tY tuloa Depot, pAaaxnxerS far kAn sAs, Colorado. New Msxicn And California conaec with express trains ul ali lines.
 Al AtchisoR, connection 10 made with eNpre trAins for kAaaaa aud NebrAsha puiata.
 Al somAhs, connection ie made with ihs OveflAns train for California.
 This line oners Ia parties roats ta the was, Northwca not oniy last umu and superior AecnM modauons, bat heauttnl nery a H passea thrvunf the unest porton of Missouri and Nebraska. sens for Illustrated nsApa, pamphlets etc ot thia une which will be mailed ffpe
 H. C. TOW NsENU,
 0~nH Paaa, and Tichct ARt., et. |. .uuts, Mo, II. N. H0Xlk, Third vies-rreak Bt. Louia. Mo.
Huntsville gazette., 1885-10-17
VALUABLE SCALPS.
High Game For the Arizonians-Apache
ScaIps Commanding a Premium OF 5000
The Old Pioneers On a Big Hunt

High Game For the Arizonians-Apache
ScaIps Commanding a Premium OF $500
The Old Pioneers On Big Hunt.
DEMrNG, TEX, October 9.-Reports
come in from all parts of Arizona that
the old pioneers of that Territory, tempt
ed BY the reward OF $500 for Indian
scalps made by several counties in Ari.
zona, have started out on hunt for red
skins, with a view of obtaining their
scalps. They think this is the most
practicable method yet suggested OF for
ever ending the Apache Indians war.
The $3.50 is merely incidental to the
hunt; it paws for the whisky and tobacco
used in camp. 1t is believed several
New Mexican cities and counties will
adopt this plan of exterminating the
savages.
The fight at Gallerp's ranch Wednes.
day has thoroughly aroused Western New
Mexico, and additional troops besides
the squad from Albuquerque which went
to the ranch are now being held 10 readI-
ness at Ell Paso, Tex. The Indians are
roa .osDg about 10 small bands, and this
enables them to commit crimes aud es-
cape or hide much easier than when they
proceed 10 large bands.