The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1885-01-01

|
"Old Bobberts is a close hand" said
John Raney, "no doubt of that"
"No doubt at all" said the farmer.
"I don't quite see, John, how we came
to be associated with him in buyin' this
machine"
because we we're precious pair Of
FOOLS" said Mr.. Raney, cheerfully.
can then," cried Farmer Sweet,
"fur all the old coon wuz so crazy fur
the machine, an pestered us to death
to go thirds with him, you can't make
him own now that he likes the old
thrasher, or feels in any way beholden
to us. 'Twuz only this mornin' I says
to him. well, farmer, how dye like
the machine, now you've seen her
a-goin' p 'Oh, $685. says he. 'Sho',
says I, you ought ter come out strong
er than that Mr.. Bobberts. Think
what savin' Of labor it is We'll,
says lie, jest fur pure contrainess, I
aip't sho' but that I like the old way
best; it wuz more sociable like. Now,
you see the neighbors will all be
a-wantin' ter borrow the machine, an
we may regret ever a-purchasin' Of it.
An then he sithed, as hypocritical as
a preacher at 6 strange funeral.
John Raney uuz the greatest fellow
fur a joke on the perarer, an a wicked
thought come a;jumpin' inter his mind.
"Say," cried he, II ain't overproud
Of ownin' anything along with old
Bobberts. Let's burn up the whole
rig, az clear out"
"Burn herr" said Farmer Sweet,
his eyes a-starin' carter all the money
we've put in herr"
"We'd never ha' got much satisfac-
ton out of her." said Rainey. "Bob-
berts would always want her jest when
our wheat wuz ready; an what q joke
it would be on him jest ter take him
at his word fur once, an tell him We
thought the old way wuz best as we'll
as he"
Farmer Sweet begun ter laugh.
Gall right" said he; ego ahead"
An then an there them two men
act'ally did set fire ter that thrashin'-
machine. / mustn't forget ter say that
some folks always declared that the
fire wuz an accident, an that them
two men made up the tale Of burnin' it
themselves jest ter devil Mr.. Bobber..s.
When Bobberts came out an saw
the thing in blaze, it set him in the
biggest rage ever seen on the Nine
mile.
"We thought you would like il" !"
says Farmer Sweet, artless us a baby,
"seein' how you liked the machine
only $3.50, an the old way wuz the
best"
"How dared you meddle with my
property ?" howls Mr.. Bobberts.
Majority rules" says John Raney,
cool as Christmas.
Then MIR. Bobberts up an struck
John, an John hit back with such
goodwill that it ended in fight that
came near endin' Mr.. Bobberts.
Well, we'll it wuz a good many
years ago that this happened, an no.
body supposed Mr.. Bobberts wuz lay
in up anything ag'inst John Raney.
He wuz very friendly with both him
an Farmer Sweet, an [ did hear that
they had paid him back every cent of
the money he had put inter the ma
chine. They wuz willin' ter pay fur
their joke after they had their fun out
of it, an it wuz considered very hand
some of them on the prarer.
As wuz a-sayin', a bad year came
fur the farmers. Nobody felt like
maxim muchs O. Christmas. We
hadn't any fatted calves, an all The
turkeys an gineral fowls had been
traded fur store goods. So when the
news came that Preacher Snowden wuz
goin' ter spend Christmas on Nine
mile it wuz quite question where he
would put up, fur he wuz pretty fond
of the fesh-pots. He took his dram
before sermon an after; but he wuz a
good Hard-shell Baptist, and sound
on the doctrine. But I must say it
always went agin me ter hear him say
that hell wuz paved with infants
skulls not half span long.
He wuz the curiousest preacher l
ever sot under. He would take a text,
an stick to it pretty we'll fur a while,
considerin' he hadn't no eddication ;
but when the exhortin' mood came on
him, an he got good warmed up, he
would drop chapter an verse, an
wander wild an free, as the song sez.
He had a way, too, of pickin' out
some text an maxim it mean some
thing entirely different from what you
had always supposed. In fact, sech
wuz that old mans contrainess an
pig-headedness an conceit of himself
that he made nothin' of arguin' ag'inst
the Scripter. I s'pose be amt the only
man who ever thought he knew more
than the Lord who made him, but he
wuz the fust ever see who brazenly
owned as much in the pulpit, an with
the Bible open before him.
I1e wuz sot agin new-fangled no.
tions, Preacher Showden wuz, an
made nothin' Of declarin' that temper
ance societies an Sunday-schools had
sent more people to hell than ever
they kept out Of it. I never had any
thing effect me like that; an as fur
Jed Burridge, he jest muttered in his
whiskers, "God help the people in this
country if they've got to set under
your preachin !" An then, without
word to me, Jed jammed his hat on
his head an walked out gloomy as a
hearse. "I couldn't set thar an stand