davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15
HUMOROUS.
A caucus-a crow.

A caucus-a crow.
 A comment -tator- tho ordinary boiled one.
 "You rascalp "why do you call me a rascalq didn't call you a pumpkin-head."
 Slippers are now manufactured en- tirely of paper, but the small boy must not prematurely rejoice thereat.
 The bang is said to be coming in fashion again. On doors closed by servant girls 1t is worn very loud.
 It is said that much suffering is caused an animal by defective shoeing. the same is true of defective boot ing.
 "No, sir" he said to tho captain. "I'm not seasick, but I am deucedly disgusted with the motion of the vessel"
 "What is an epistIe9" asked a Sun day-school teacher of her class "The wife of an apostle" replied the young hopeful.
 That ladies easily learn to play the violin is not surprising when their experience in handling beaux is taken into consideration.
 'Tis sweet to court When thero're only two, But uphill work
 If thercro moro of you.
 It is said that Jean Ingelow never gets tired of writing poetry. No, of course not. That's way poets have. It's the ones who read tho poems, who get tired.
 A distinguished physician says pi. ano playing will quiet raving maniac. We may remark that the same is true of hitting maniac over the head with a baseball bat.
 Ross Browne. the traveler, in de- seribing Smyrna, remarks that he saw but one person there who seemed to be doing anything, and he was falling from the top of house.
 A wise exchange says "only one woman in thousand can whistle" This probably results from the fact that so long as woman can talk she doesn't care to whistle.
 Miss Amanda has just had quiet tete-at.tete with Lieutenant Eligible, and was asked by her guardian how she liked his conversation. "Oh, im- mensely. There's ring in his voice.
 "My son. said fond father to his little son, whom he had been punish ing by the use of the rod for the first time: ''niy son, hope this has taught you lesson" "Yes, pa," the littlo fellow sobingly replied "its taught me that it is better to give than to re- ceive"
 Conjurer (pointing to a large cabl- net )-Now, ladies and gentlemen, al- low me to exhibit my concluding trick. I would ask any lady in the company to step on tho stage and stand in this cupboard. will then close the door. When open it again the lady will have vanished without leaving trace behind. Gentlemen Gin the front seat aside to his wife )-"I say, old woman. do me favor and step upp
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15
CuriOsities Wanted.

A gentleman in New York. who is about to start a museum, is in want of the following curiosities;-
 A man to take splinters from the ''foot" of street.
 Laughter from the mouth of river. Receipt to make peanut" stand. How to make tree "bark.
 A corn from the foot of hill
 Goals from mountain range.-SVt- i9a0R-
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15
CANAAN CONN., WEDNESDAY,, JULY 15, 1885.

"Dear mel how late 1t Isl" she thought with little start. q must go up stairs immediately. There. l forgot to tell the cook about having breakfast at five tomorrow morning, and of course she's abed and asleep by this time. I'll be up early enough to see to it myself, that will be just as we'll"
 Laying this salve on her conscience Mrs. Chickerly turned off the gas. and crept drowsily up the stairs.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15
CrneI Man.

"Who made this cakep" asked Dobbs of his young wife as he chewed on a piece.
 "I did, my dear" she answered with pride.
 "Um-um," he continued testIly, "what kind is itP'
 Angel cake, darling"
 "Um--um-good name for it-man will be pretty sure to go there if he eats very much of it"-Mefchdnt Trdceler.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

The threats from time to time of in- vasions of the United Statea by chol- era, yellow fever, and other malig- nant diseases. repeatedly call the at tentlon to the general use of disinfect- ants, which are often used to great ad- vantage in communities that have to fear an irruption of these epidemics. But it is great mistake to rely on them to the exclusion of individual measures having far greater impor- tance. Humboldt said that persons whose bodies are strengthened by wholesome habits in respect of food, clothing, cleanliness, exercise, and fresh air, are enabled to resist the cause which brings about disease in other men. But to ordinary people it is so much easier to rely upon the germi- eide poisons of Board of Health than
 o adopt sensible habits, that half the good work that is done by the author ities is neutralized by the neglect of all sanitary precautions.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15
An Old PrOverb.

Pouting, my darling because it rains And flowers droop and the rain is falling, And drops are blurring the window panes, And a moaning wind through the lane is
 calling? Crying and wishing the sky was clear And roses again on the lattice twinning? An, we'll, remember, my foolish dear, "'Tis easy to laugh when the sun is shin
 ing!" When the world is bright and fair and gay, And the glad birds sing in the fair June
 weather, And summer is gathering, night and day, | Her golden chalice of sweets together; When blue seas answer the sky above, And bright stars follow the days declining, Why, then, 'hs no merit to smile, my love; "'Tis easy to laugh when the sun is shun
 ing!" But this is the time the heart to test When winter is ne IT and storms are howl
 ing, Andthe earth from under her frozen vest Looks up at the sky mute and scowling. The brave little spirit should rise to meet The seasons gloom and the days repininS. And this is the time to laugh; for sweet, "'Tis easy to llugn when the sun is shin
 ing '" -Wide .ALUahe.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15
Connecticut Western News.
 PUBLISHED AT CANAAN, uTCHFlELD COUNTY, CT. EVERY WEDNESDAY, MORNING. s. C. BECKLEY, Editor and Proprietor
Local News a Speciality.

TERMS:
 $2.0O per year. if paid strictly in advance If not paid at the expiration of three months $2.25 will be charged.
 Su 3scIiU, IS desiring lheir papers continued must give notice al the EXPIRATION of tbcir sulsciriptions. any previous nstice not being suficent and unless al arrearaGes are paid, papers will not then be discontinued save at the option of the publisher.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

A correspondent who has visited He rat, "the key of India" ayers that its evil odors assail the nostrils at a dis tance of five miles from the walls if one be not travelling with the wind. The city is in the form of huge square, with fortified sides about a mile in length either way, and with a huge stone citadel in the centre Sur rounded by hills, Herat has no drainage, reeks with mud, garbage and stagnant water, yet its mortality is not exces- sive. Probably the supply of pure water and the prevalence of cool north winds account for the ability of the people to resist their filthy surround ings. Some seven centuries ago, before it was laid waste by Genghis Khan, Herat was the largest city in the world. Probably the Russian soliiers who can luxuriate on a banquet of vodka and tallow candles would feel comfortable enough in Herat-
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

"Why Not Eat Insects ?" is the title of recent English book. The writer thinks that such a diet would have certain advantages for poor people, and he insists that an "appetizing rel ish" is to be found in "boiled caterpil- lars, fried grasshoppers and grilled cock-chafers." His argument rests mainly on the descriptions of half starved travellers concerning their personal enjoyment of cooked insects, and the fact that certain sayages thrive on such diet.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

The Journal of Tnebriety thinks that the cumulative action of alcohol on the brain centres exists to a great CT extent than Is generally supposed. Many men who drink regularly through the day and seem no worse for it, become intoxicated late at night, although they have used no spirits during the evening. "It appears" says the editor, "that alcohol, like bromide, may remain in the system to some extent without producing any marked action, and then suddenly. from some unknown cause, burst into great activity, producing profound in- toxication." The reasons for this do not seem to be definitely understood, though they are thought to be of a combined physiological and psycho- logical nature, and partly due to cli- matic conditions.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15
TOPICS OF THE DAY.

A chemist in New York asserts that iu every one hundred pounds of green tea used in this country the consumer drinks more than a half-pound of Prussian blue and gypsum.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

The cooperative community in Francesof which so much has been writ ten, is steadily gaining ground The average wages of workmen per week are 30 shillings and sixpence (say $I35), which is said to be far higher than those earned by foundry hands in England. The association was formed twenty-five years ago, and Is composed of 1,400 persons. The capi- tai employed has preferential inter- est of 5 per cent Further profits are divided among the workmen. Last year the capital share was $66. 900, and the laborers' share was $377,400.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

Boulder, Col, has an ingenious musl- clan, according to western newspa- per, which says: Nell McClay, who gripds music out of violins in the Board of Trade saloon. has made a small violin which is quite a novelty in its way. He caught small turtle at the lake and used the shell for the body of the violin. The holes where the feet protuded were covered over with banjo head and glue. The back of the turtle is turned up and the holes for the sound cut into 1t. The head of the violin is ornamented with the turtles head and two of the feet.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

The largest diamond in the world Is soon to be cut at Amsterdam. where a special workshop is being constructed. This gem Is South African, and weighs 475 carats, thus being 195 carats heavier than the Grand Mogur' be- longing to the Shah of Persia, and hitherto the biggest diamond known.
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

The London Lanest warns people against the danger of licking adhesive stamps and envelopes, adding that it is most perilous practice, producing local irritation and sore tongues, whilst occasionally other diseases are propagated by the habit
Connecticut western news., 1885-07-15

England's wars in remote regions at least promote the study of geography.
, 1885-12-19
Method Of voting In swit,erland.

The electoral law in Switzerland is, II
may be added, a miracle of simplicity,
and thoroughness, too Every male
Switzer of 20 years and upward has the
right to vote, paupers, wards, bankrupts,
and criminals alone excepted; and every
one under the age of IS is obliged to do so
under penalties of a fine. The voting
takes place at meetings of the "Geminde,7
or convoked by the local
authorities. Here is the description which
n correspondent at Seewis (G~raubunden)
sends us of one of the polling booths:
The voting (Which is secret, and, as we
have seen in writing) took place ain the
Schloss, which was for several hundred
years the seat of the noble Salis-Seewis
family, until its partial destruction by
fire in 1868, when 1t passed into the hands
of the commune, who have converted the
grand old feudal keep into an exceedingly
useful but eminently prosaic and ugly
building.
The room was densely crowded, and its
atmosphere was sitting. 1t was a verita-
BILE tobacco parliament It would have
been hard to say whether the 'pfarrar'
was putting more vigorously at his cigar
or the elder at his pipe. The sight of a
male biped without either one or the
other created much wonder. As the
papers were taken from the ballot-box
and were called out 1t soon became evil
dem that the noes were in n great ma
jority, and that not because tine voters Of
Seewis are dram-drinkers. Far from It:
they are highly moral, sober, and respec-
table God-fearing men, yet they voted by
81 to 40 against the temperance ticket
Pail Mall Gazette.
, 1885-12-19

The late lamented J.. c. Bowling, whose
departure from Cheyenne has been noted
and extensively commented upon, appears
TO have been afflicted. like some other
men, with the disease of being too much
married. He had a wife or two that were
known Of here in Cheyenne before or
about the time of his departure; but that
was not all, as it now seems, Early in
the present week a gentleman in this city
received a letter from Denver, of which
the following is an extract.
Would you please let me know where
Mr.. Bowling is, as he. is my husband, and
| haven't had a letter from him since he
was at home, two weeks ago.
This letter is signed, Mrs. j. c. Dow
ling, and there is much more of it than
the quotation above, yet what has been
given is sufficient 10 establish the fact
that he has a wife in Denver. Call the
next witness
, 1885-12-19

Pretty near everybody IN Cheyenne
knows or has heard OF frershy the
cook, but as to what his real name rs Is
what no fcllah can n out frenehy
IL an excellent cook ana has been EN-
ployed IN hotels and at ranches around
cheyenne for years. frenchy, however
has one bad habit and that Is ne win get
drunk II he has a iair nance to DO So
aud when he once gets In that cohuitioh
, 1885-12-19
SPARKS R THE WIRES.

LONDON, Dec. ls.-Typhus and small
pox is raging among the Servian troops.
Those at Prot are freezing at the rate of
800 daily.
PEKfN, China, Dec. ls.-Rumor says
the young emperor of China contemplates
ma,rimony in February, and will her as
sumo the reins of the government.
ST. LOUIS, Dec. lS.-Tha st. Louis
Stationery and Book company have con-
fessed judgment in favor Of Hugh r..
Hildreth for $4,000. Levies have been
made onereal estate and the store. The
liabilities are Sl5O, 000; assets, 1900, 900.
LONDON, Dec. lS.-The Carolines pru-
tocol fixes the limits of the Pelew and
Caroline group by the equator on the
south, eleventh degree of latitude on the
north, and the one hundred anl thirty
third and one hundred and sixty fourth
degrees of longitude on the east and west
New York, Dec. ls.-A Washington
special to the Post says that he debate
over the admission of D.kuta will be pro-
tacted. Senators are preparing speeches.
Representative Morrison says that the
present congress will not consent to a di-
vision, but the admission of the territory
as a whole il possible.
, 1885-12-19
Possible Future Of \ MetropolI..

1t will take a couple of years probably
to complete the work at He'll Gate, but
when it is done, ships from Europe will
save forty miles of travel by using the
sound route. II is not impossible hat in
fifty years time New York city will be, as
it were, turned about. Instead Of coming
up the harbor, the ships from abroad will
take the Sound route, and the docks and
warehouses of the greatest American city
will be located on both shores of the
Harlem river, and on the Long island
shore opposite. A careful survey by naval
experts has established the fact, that the
three channels between Coney island and
Sandy Hook, one of which every ship has
TO take in its passage in and out Of New
York harbor, are rapidly shoaling. To
dredge and improve them properly would
cost an outlay Of $25, 900, 200. If the Sound
passage will accommodate all the ship
ping without trouble, il is not likely that
congress will spend so much money in
improving h lower bay.-Demorest's
Monthly.
, 1885-12-19

Immense Quantities OF Cheap Jewelry.
Mrs. John Jacob Aston, who on dress
occasions wears diamonds that cost
nearly 100000, would no doubt smile at
the cheap jewelry which adorns so many
of her sex, but after all how small is the
differencei Perhaps, indeed, the house
maid or sewing girl is just as happy with
a 50-cent breach as Mrs. Astor Is with her
more costly gauds. The love Of jewelry
seems universal, and hence the poor must
be accommodated in n manner adapted
to low pay and other privations. For
many years immense quantities Of cheap
jewelry were manufactured in New Eng
land, but as everything centers in New
York, this trade proved no exception, and
while Tiffany has been dealing out dia.
monds to the rich, Faas & Co. have been
manufacturing ornaments for the mill
ion. This concern has been in operation
for more than forty years with great sue
cess, and has recently opened a factory
specially for bracelets and ear rings.
At n time rolled gold was extens-
lively used, the metal being reduced to
the thinness almost Of tissue paper, but
at present plating is preferred. Red
gold, which is now the principal material,
is M alloy of gold and copper, the latter
being preferable to silver for the purpose,
as it makes n richer color. Plating is
done by the use Of an electric battery, and
one ounce of gold applied in this manner
will plate 100 pairs OF bracelets. Mrs.
Astor and others Of the creme de la creme
might shudder at the thought OF using e
pair of these bracelets, and yet what null
titudes of their sex are happy to be thus
adornedl-New York Cor. Cincinnati En-.
Quirer
, 1885-12-19


You may ave heard il preached-I
know | haye-that the man who does the
best literary work is the fellow who sits
with his bnre feet in a basin of hot water
and diets himself on oatmeal and crack.
ers. For quality in the work this sort of
a recipe may be the best, but for dollars
and cents ! know a man who has another.
OF course, he lives in Chicago. He used
TO be n reporter on n morning paper and
when he was sitting around in the fire
alarm Office ut the old central station
waiting for an alarm or a murder, he was
grinding out blood-curdling stories foi
cheap literary weeklies. He would come
IN with n bundle under his arm which
looked as big as a pillow. At midnight
he would unroll it and spread the CON
tents out on his desk.
This spread generally consisted of four
or five beef sandwiches as big as a mans
hand, a piece OF old fashioned pound cake
which weighed about two and a half
pounds, n pumpkin pie, a cup Of preserves,
a piece of cheese and u double handful of
raisins, or prunes, or currants. AS he de-
voured this layout he united his fancy,
and 1t went away on a gallop, lassoing
convicts, hanging m%urderers, burning
houses, scalding children, pulling women
out of seething abysses by the hair of
their heads, and winding up by making
tough boys presidents, kings, and, finally,
angels in glory. He sold these productions
at fabulous prices, and soon obtained &
competency which enabled him to turn
up his nose at the reporters. he bought
himself a house and lot on this sort OF
truck, and I saw him on State street the
other day buying a sealskin overcoat.
When l reminded him of the old days he
smiled and said: "Yes-the secret of my
business was in supplying my stomach.
1t always fed my brain to its utmost de-
mand.-Chicago Herald "Meddler.r
, 1885-12-19

Piles are frequently preceded BY a sense
of want of weight in the back, loins and
lower part OF the abdomen, causing the
patient to suppose he has some affection
of the kidneys or neighboring organs. At
times, symptoms ofindigestion are present
latuloncy, uneasiness Of the stomach, etc.
A moisture like p~erspiration, producing a
very disagrceable itching, after getting
warm, is a common attendant. Blind,
bleeding and itching piles yield at once to
the application Of DR.. Bosanko's Pile
Remedy, which acts directly on the parts
effected, absorbing the tumors, a~llaying
the intense itching, and effecting a per-
manent cure. Price so cents. Address
The DIR. Bosanko Medicine Co. Piqua,
o. Sold by w. N. Hunt
, 1885-12-19
Not Entirely Alone in hi. Amle.ion.

We'll, well, Jonathani Is this RELY
your Never would o. knowed you'll Don't
think I've seed you afore in ten years.
How's the world sarved you, anyhow,
Jonathanin
Bad enough, bad enough" replies Jona-
than, shaking his head sadly. "Sence /
see you last I've lost my wife an three
children, had my leg broke, my house TUX
fire an burnt clean down, my Jarsey bull
died. the bank he'd my few savins in
busted, an last year l got married again.
Fve he'd my full sheer Of Affections, / hey,
Silas.n
@You hev, indeed says Silas sadly as a
lank, sharp-nosed, thin-lipped woman put
her red read out of a window and cut the
air with these words:
You come long here an git me some
wood, Sile Hixon, or you don't git u bite
to eat today Mosey right long this
minnitl You hear mefr
We've both had our misfortins, " said 81.
las gloomily.-Detroit Free Press.
, 1885-12-19
YOU KNOW
%Cheyennese at Home and Others VINO
are Abroad.


George Stevens, of Bulls Bend. IL IN
the city.
TT Durbin has returned from a trip to
Chicago.
Russell Thorp is in the city from Raw
hide Buttcs.
William Logan came in from Virginia
Dale yesterday.
Yes Sherman, foreman for the Mil
waukee Investment company, is viewing
the city.
II. f.. Brunell, of Brunell x Co, il
confined to his house and bed by an acute
attack of neuralgia.
Miss Kate Davis and Miss Carrie LEI
I%engwell will depart for Omaha on Mon
day TO spend the school vacation.
5. II. Gwinn, whose ranch is on kait
river, Idaho, came TO the city yesterday
to buy some Hereford stock from the
Wyoming Hereford association.
HOT ARRIVALS.
At the Pacific: G T. Coleman. Chicago;
Miss Murphy, Green River; N II Mel
drum. Denver G Il Cramer, d NJ Ruger.
II g Rose, John Hayward. Omaha.
At the Metropolitan: Jno r Mckee,
Dayton, q; James Dunn, Kansas City;
j w Goodsell, Meadville, Pa; n n Tres
dale, Denver, Paul Chaplin. Chugwater;
+ f Russell, Denver.
At Fishers: D Linseau, Rock Greek;
Miss l. Garrison, Denver; Ed Elmer,
Tunnel Camp; Frank Homer. TT Fetter-
man; Jas Mhran, Horse Shoe; T d Holt,
ranch; Jas Brown. } l. Walton. Corsi-
cana, Texas, Mrs b S Hopkins, ranch;
VIM Maxwell, Tie Siding; w Fl Mel
drum, Denver; o + Crompton, D j
Frazer, Omaha Alex Morton, ranch; c
T Greewell, Hat Greek.
At the Inter-Ocean: l. j Shoemaker,
Laramie city; SIR Gwinp, Idaho; J G.
Rankin. Rawlins; John S Titcoub,
Sweetwater; James Hill and son, Egbert;
John Frances, Bordeaux; Frank Wende-
voth, Chicago; w l Gilbert, New Haven;
5 r Knowles, Kansas City w W Hink-
ley, Denver; Sam c Parks, Rawlins; j
w Gray, Silver Cliff; Geo f Leroy, New
York; } w Winkler, Woodward, Iowa;
Miss Emma Olmstead, Pine Bluffs; Rob
ert Hiscock, Omaha; Edward A Frances.
ranch.
, 1885-12-19
An Immense Devn rl.h.

In 1874 | speared an octopus in the
harbor of llinliuk, rnalashka, which
was afterward hung, by q cord tied
around the body Immediately behind
the arms, to one o the stern dayits o.
the coast survey vessel under my com-
mand.
As o AS the animal died and the
muscles relaxed, | noticed that the tips
Of the longer tentacles just touched the
water. ON measuring the distance with
a cord, / found it to be sixteen feet,
giving the creature n spread, from tip
to TIP Of the longest pair Of arms, of not
less than %thirty-two ieet. The arms to-
ward the tips were all exceedingly slen
der, but rather stout toward the body,
which was somewhat over a foot long
The largest suckers were two and a half
inches in diameter; the whole creature
nearly filled a large washtub.
Having heard octipi were eatable, and
the flesh looking white and clean, we
boiled some sections OF the arms in salt
and water. but found them so tough
and elastic that our teeth could not
make the slightest impression on them.