The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-01-01
A NEW CRIME.
How An Arkansaw Justice of the Peace
Resented Interference With His Judicial
Prcro.aiives.

How An Arkansaw Justice of the Peace
Resented Interference With His Judicial
Prcro;:aiives.
When old Anderson Brumley an
nounced himself as candidate for
Justice of the Peace, the people of
Buck Short Township felt that the time
when they We're TO have an able and
upright administration of judicial af-
fairs had arrived. Old Brumley had
never opened law book; therefore he
was regarded rs honest. IL. had never
hesitatel to take off his coat ana light
The best man in the neighborhOoi:
therefore he was considered able. He
had never been backward in denOuncing
his enemies. consequently he was re-
gardGd as a citizen OF wisdom. With
these accomplishments, his election. in
the expressive parlance of politics. was
a walk over" Shortly after Brrumley
took his seat on the red oak woolsack.
a man named Billy Malone was arrested
for stealing grind-stone.
This here is Il mighty important
case said the magistrate, when the
culprit had been arraigned before the
court. I'm loOkin' over these here law
books don't find no mention o grind
stones. 1t was a big oversight in our
Legislature not to put down grind
stones in the books, fur it mOut have
been know'd that some blamed rascal
in this part o the State was 4 go:n' to
steal one. Folks in this here part o.
The country. let me tell you, will steal
anything. Wa'al. in the absence o.
any statnary BARN on the subjeck,
-eckon Ill make this here charge man
slaughter in the first degree
Your honor" said lawyer, THAT
would be impossible"
Wood it? Wa'al. I'll jes show You
I'm running this here court.
Your honor"
"Call me Jadge. if YOU please"
well. Jedge, there is no such thing
as mau>laughter in the first degree
Amt thar? Wall, I'll jes show you
I'm runnin' this here court. Prisoner
at the bar. have longed fur oppor-
tunity o. teachin lesson to the risin'
generation. You have given me that
chance. 1 don't delight in seem a
man fall from grace, but when he does
fall, thar ain nothin' that pleaSes me
so much as to tangle my hand in the
ruil'cs o his calico shirt. Manslaugh-
ter is mighty serious charge, young
feller.'
Il amt slaughtered no man yit,
Jcdge."
..Shet your mouth. impudant violater
o the sacred law o the land. No mat
ter what you done. say it was man
slaughter in the fust degree, an when
a man disputes my word, wy, he'd ber-
ter wuSh that his bones was made OutGn
Iniun rubber an his back kivercd with
the skin o yalligator. Young out
rager o. the principl OF civilization,
fur this great crime of manslaughter in
the fust degree. sentences you TO be
hung next Friday"
Judge" exclaimed the lawyer,
springing to his feet, this proceeding
is impossible
us it? Wa'al, I'll iis show you I'm
runnin' this court. When you git to
be Jedge, | won't come round tell u
you what you can do an what You
can't"
Great Caesar, Judge, such a course
as YOU are taking is violation of the
State Constitution.
lis it? Wa'al, I'll jest repeal the
State Constitution right here. This
Teller oughter be hung, an if l had
catch him ten days ago, whuther or
not he had committed manslaughter in
the fust degree or stold a grindstone in
the second, which is the same, L would
have sentenced him to be hung. Mr..
Constable, take charge o this man an
see that he is hung up in respectable
manner Any lawyer what don't
wanter be saryed in the same way had
better keep his mouth shet. I'm run
MIN this court. ''-Opie p. Read, tT
Texas SJings.