The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1885-06-24
HGUOR

a NAN has his faults and : woman
has her bangA-Carl Pretzeps Weakly
81 Ann to tell the truth sYes.' in
terrupted an acquaintance @and you
are probably the worst shot IN Amer
lea
! Mn. SM1TH-sJones, / don't object t.
music, but when thatdog Of yours barkl
all night I think it q little too much
@Then you don't appreciate Often
| bach?n
9WHY does Dina get more beaux
| than II" asked the elder sister. u
| don't know, unless it is she is q little
archer" said mamma, with q culver Of
her lips.
"WHAT are You doing, my love? p
asked q young husband Of his wife.
@oh," she replied, holding up q dilap-
idats Il pair of pants, Il am only collect
ing the rent"
A LOVER of her SEX, but still q woman
devoid of tact, established q Cash
Girls Home" in New York. OF course
the name had to be changed to aCash-
Ladies Home" in order to reach the
class desired.
sALoNzo, dear, do you believe in
ghosts? 2" she asked, dreamily. mo,
darling, I do not, he replied. well,
Alonzo, that ghosts to show You are not
superstitious." Then they fell into 9
sweet, calm sleep. - Carl Pretseps
Weekly.
W1FE-@What are you dreaming OF,
John?" John "a New York cashier
Il was not dreaming, I guess 20,
yes, you were in a regular day dream.
We're you thinking Of your castles in
Spain?" "Well, no! The fact is, I was
wondering about the price of castles in
Canada"
r SHE-sYou say he couldn't straddle
the blind?" He-"Yes." She-"What
was the matter? Was the blind too
wide for him." He-@No." She
WAS it a defect in his legs?" He
"No. I believe the defect was in his
hand."-Ncc York Graphic,
c. IS very proud of his ancestry,
and was exhibiting his gallery to his
friends n day. "This warrior is n
of your ancestors?" asks one, pointing
to q mail-clad figure before him.
sYes," he was in the crusades." "In
which n of them?" "In all"
SroREKEEpER-"This piece is oun
terfeit." know it. I got
it here" Storekeeper-"That cannot
be. We never take bad money" Gus
tomer-@I Am aware that it is your rule
to give bad money, not to take it; but
I trust you will make an exception this
time"
@WHAT are you slowing up for?"
yelled a freight conductor to an engi-
neer on one of u Vermont roads.
@Why, we've run owe q book agent"
@Drat it all, then, why don't you keep
on? We can't kill him unless the
whole train runs over him."-Burling-
tom Free Press.
AT the club: Young de Philltoddle
Ito friend)-@Do you know that poor
Gabbleton has lost his mind?" Friend
Indeed He is to be congratulated"
Young de Philltoddle-"Congratulated
How SOP" Friend-"It was the general
impression that he had none to lose;
but now he has corrected that error"
GEORGE" said a South Side girl to
her beau the other night, "here is a
piece in the paper headed 'Kismet.'
What does kismet mean?" "The word
must be pronounced with the t silent,
Nettie," replied George. "Why, that
would be kiss me, said Nettie. with
the greatest pleasure" replied George.
And he did.
A PHILOSOPHER who had borrowed
some money to pay for his nights lodgg-
ings at hotel woke up in the night aud
saw a person climbing through the
window. With admirable nonchalance
he said to the intruder, "Look here,
my friend, you'll get into debt if you
rob me; for you won't find anything
but ~unreceipted tailors' bills in my
pockets"
A NEW baby recently arrived in the
family of a Louisville journalist, and
papa was excessively proud OF the
event. Turning to the old black nurse,
."Aunty," said he, stroking the little
pate, "this boy seems to have q Journal
istic head" "Oh," cried the untutor>d
old aunty, soothingly, "never you mind
bout dat; dat1l come all right in time"
-COurier-JOMnGl.
A SCIENTIST has discovered that cod
fish have germs that are liable to Ge-
velop into form more terrible than
trichina, and in the toothsome mackerel
are hidden microci which cooking fails
to kill. This is becoming serious. The
microscope reveals terrible wriggling
monsters in our drinking-water; poison
turks in the ice-cream can; canned
fruits and meats are sending their VIC
Tins to the grave; and pretty Don the
only article of food and drink that will
be safe to indulge in are early straw
berries and whisky-which we don't
like. Herald.