Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1885-07-16
PITH AND POINT.

The ordinary stride of Maud 5. IL
seventeen feet per second. That OF
man lodging butcher bill is twenty
one.-Detroit Free Press.
A dealer in cheap boots in one OF
his advertisements saws: Ladies wish
ing these cheap shoes will do well to
call soon. as they will not last long
Chicago Tribune.
&c. is so verv close" was observed
by B.. that he viii squabble about a
have always thought that the less one
squabbles about the better. IN T.
Mai.
-Flossie told her mother some news,
to which the latter replied: '.You dom t
say sou Mamma" said Flossie.
why do you say You don't say So
when I've just this minute said it?"-
Boston Post
-Inquirer-Yes; "paragraphist" I'M
doubleday originated from the use of
the ''fist'' (H9) at the beginning of
each paragraph. Therefore you are
correct in your spelling-reform of the
word to ''paragrafist "-Curremt.
Trousers with two legs are pair;
a shirt with two arms is only one shirt.
Philosophers had better give up trying
to find out whether the moon is inhab-
tied with spooks and clear up some of
the dark mysteries of this life.-Totedo
Blade.
Human nature is a good deal Ike
dog nature. Whenever some other dog
wants the bone it becomes doubly
precious; and when man is about to
lose something upon which he has put
slight value, its worth goes skyward
rapid y.-Ueceland Leader.
-''How did you come to fall in love
with Matte Cook. Fred. Her face ism t
the prettiest in the world 81 admit
that, Bob. but then she's a lovely char
acter and such pretty foot" 'Oh!
then it was her foot that led you to
adore Mat?' Yonkers Gazette
Miss De Vere-Don't you sing, Mr.
Isle? Mr.. Isle (of the Harvard Glee
Club)-Oh, yes, but we are not alone.
That ugly old dufer in the corner has
been watching Us the last half hour.
Miss De Fere-Oh, never mind him;
he's only my father.-Brooklym Eagle.
-Featherly was making an evening
call and the revised edition was being
discussed. ..In the new Bible that pa
brought home,'' said Bobby. joining
the conversation, ''sister is four years
younger than she was in the old one
Is that what is meant by the revised
edition9"-N. Y. San.
I'll tell you a great secret, but
you must promise not to give it away"
''Of course not" Il believe Miss Bir-
de McGinnis is gone on me. I've al
most made up my mind to pop the
question. What did she say to your"
''She didn't say anything to me pre-
cisely, but at the picnic on Onion Creek,
she patted my dog on the head. Isn't
THAT an encouraging sign" Eyes.
that's the next thing to patting you on
the head. Your turn will come next
TEXAS SJtings.
-Hewas poet, and he was talking to
Miss Ethel in the conservatory, and as
she toyed with the ice which he had
just brought her, she inquired: ''Mr.
Rimer, you write a good deal of po-
etry, don't you?'' '-Oh, yes, Miss
Ethel" he answered, land it comes so
easily to me. Why. do you know, 1 ex-
pect it is more work for you to read
my poems that it is for me to write
them "Yes, I expect it u.s." she an
swered coyly: land it must be much
pleasanter to write them than to read
them" And then he looked up at the
shrubs that grew around them and
said nothing. while she continued to
toy with the chilly orange-favored ice.
Boston Post.