davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
An Extraordinary Offer.
To All Wanting Employment.

We want Live, Energetic and Capable Agents in
every county in the United States and Canada, to
sell patent article Of great merit ON ITS MER.
ITS. An article having large sale, paying over
which the agent is protected in the exclusive sale
by deed given for each and every county he may
secure from us. With all these advantages to our
agents. and the fact that 1t is article that can
cessary to make an extraordinary ofer'' to se-
cure good agents at once, but we have concluded
to make it to show, not only our confdencein the
merits of our invention, but in its STABILITY by
agents now at work are making from $3.50 to 5000
month clear, aud this fact makes it safe for us
to make our offer to all who are ont of employ
ment. An agent that will give our business a
thirty days trial and fail to clear at least 500 in
this time above all expenses can return all goods
unsold to us and we will refund all the money paid
for them. Any agent or General Agent who would
like ten or more COMMITTEES and work them
clear at least $3.50 above ali expenses, can return
all unsold and get their money back. No other
employer of agents ever dared to make such Of
fers, nor would we il we did not know that We
have agents that make more than double the
amount we guaranteed, and but two sales a day
one of our agents took eighteen orders in one day.
Our large descriptive circulars explain our offer
fully aud these we wish to send to everyone out of
EN- .'loyment who will send US three one cent
sta rps for postage. send at once and secure the
agency in time for the boom, and 60 to work on the
tel MS named in our extraordinary offer. We
wolld like the address ofall the agents, sewing
machine solicitors and carpenters In the country,
and ask any reader Of this paper who reads this
oer to send us at once the name and address Of all
such they know. Address ut once, or you will lose
the best chance ever offered to those ont of
piemoy ment to make money.
as RENNER MANUFACTURING Co., go
1Smithfeld ST., Pittburgh. P
*
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
He Never Came Again.

Ma and IT, she said shyly, '.are
more like sisters than mother and
daughter ?
'.Yes?" he said, with lingering i'm
Election on the afterguard of the yes,
which rose clear to the ceiling.
Yes, indeed, = said the girl, the rosy
flush on her cheeks making her infinite
" more beautiful than ever. ma and
I are inseparable. We have never been
separated a single day since !. was alt
Ito baby
.'N-no?" he said, this time with an
infection on the second section of no
that went only half way to the ceiling
and back again.
"Oh, dear no" the girl went on in
her artless way, ''and ma and always
said that when was married she was
going to love my husband like her own
son, and come and keep house for
us.
''Oh-h?" William said, with a cir
cumt1ex. Then he rose up slowly and
firmly and said that he had a note in
bank to take up at o'clock, and as it
was now $3.50 he would 20. And he
did go. And he didn't come back
again. Not never. And ma said to
the girl:
That's where you missed it in not
fully trusting your mother. Why didn't
you tell me that man had been married
before? Had I known he was wild
over I would have played the Home
for old women racket on him. BUR-
dette in Br00klun Ea0le.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Rather Late.

Several belated pedestrians on Mad
ison street were surprised last night to
see an old man standing in front of a
gorgeous saloon and inviting everybody
in to drink.
Come, boys. he said, ..this is about
the last call. Walk right in and help
yourselves. It don't cost anything.
The news is too almighty glorious for
any use. I'm celebrating as nobody in
my family ever celebrated BEFORE
What is it that you are celebrat-
ing? asked thinly clad old man who
had gone in twice, and with his coat
collar up was trying to ring in once
why, the Democratic victory,
Where've you been, you HottentotP
Haven you heard the news? Jim
Blaine beat and old Cleveland elected.
If my old father was here there
wouldn't nobody sleep in this town to-
night. =
Cleveland was elected three months
ago, said policeman who came out
wiping his mouth. You're little be-
hindhand, old man. -
The stranger looked dazed, explain
ed that he had just come in from the
mountains Of Yuma County, Arizona,
and that he had only heard the newa
by accident that afternoon
Gentleman" he continued, II want
to do everything decent and in order.
Il this here glorious triumph has been
properly celebrated in this town wei
quit. Three months ago, Ell? That's
a mighty close call on me. If don't
hump myself there won't be an Office
left. - Chicago Herald.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Notice Of SheriRs Sale on
Execution,

ny virtue OF an execution issued out OF and un-
der the seal Of the District court of the OH Indi
cial district in and for the county of Brown and
stare OF minnesota, Upon a judgment entered
rendered and docketed in the said court on .bs
23d day Of December A. D. 1884, in an ac,i inn
wherein Daniel Dingler is plaintiff and William
Jacob Hoescheler as partners as Kiesling anu
Co., defendants, in favor of the said paintift ana
against the said defendants for he sum Of Fonr
ea Ha an th,rtyye dollars and eighty cents
1885, levied upon all the undivided mart ~ mo;et,
owned O.! oy each OF the above defendants William
KesTg Henry kslr aud Rudolph kesng in
mencing twenty five feet north 34H degrees 1sest
from tie north-easterly corner of Lot M vs. %
Block No Sc south Of Centre street in the ci,v ~
Msw om aceoaing to the new map thereof as the
Deeds in said Brown county; where Minnasot ~
street and the alley Of said block No. e6 torn,
n niton thence north az degrees vest one hun
rallel with Centre street. one hundred feet tIepce
south 34A degrees east one hundred forty feet.
theme north 5oa degrees east hundred feet to
NE pace 81 en o. beginning Also lot No. Of block
said new plat Of said city of New Vim. fled and
OF record as aforesaid said premises living and
ing in this county Of Brown. - ''-'. o'-
Notice Is hereby given that vii, sal, n. .;d
undivided part or moiety OF the said defendan,s
William y. Kiesling. Henry Keller and RndaInh
mssn e ~ ana to the ssd above described
misses " .no bl!ness UIuoer, Tor cash. at public
auction q. g ne front door Of the Court house in
the city Of New Ulm, in the county Of Brown and
state Of Minnesota on the 9Th day Of March 4. n
$50 at the hour Of ten o'clock in the forenoon Of
that day, TO satisfy the said execution, together
with the interests and costs thereon. = .'S =.
The iAid premises subject to redemption at an
time within one year from the day Of sale, a. nr1
vided by law. - u's
pated January 9Th AID. 1885.
~ JoHS y. SeHM1D.
Sheriff Of Brown County. MINI.
LIxD = HAoaERo Attys, New Ulm. Ninn.
800 March. & aBsgf 49, '
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
A Young Husb and's Woes.

"A welcome homep Well. yes;
rather, said newly UNMARRIED man,
who was receiving the congratulate lions
of his bachelor comrades yesterday at
one of the fashionable clubs. es,
he continuedsin cdntemplative tone.
ga warmer welcome than I anticipated.
/ never knew before what married
man has to endure. Do you know that
when fellow gets married he becomes
the victim of an army of agents, can.
vassers and all such cheeky cattle,
and they never let up till the honey
moon is over?
Fannie and I got back from the
wedding tour Friday night. We drove
straight home, counting on quiet
evening together, for the cards, you
know, didn't announce us at home
until Monday. As entered the vests
bule, / stumbled over a pile of PAM
phlcts, circulars and catalogues as high
as a tea chest. We walked around them
and went into the library. My desk
was buried under mountain Of SINH
lar trash.
!" Phase, sur said the hired girl,
pointing to the hillock in the yestibule,
'thim's what's come to-day. If I'd
knowed yez was comm home airly, I'd
have lugged 'em outen the way afore
yez came. There's ben regular per-
cession av men and byes a'pokin' 'em
under the door all day,
II looked over few of the things be-
fore I pitched them into the CRATE.
There were twelve catalogues and
price-lists from furniture-dealers, seven
dry-goods and millinery advertisements
addressed to my wife, cards from three
rival bakers, two paper books describ-
ing burglar alarms, one illustrated cat
alogue of baby coaches, four ANNALS
published by insurance companies,
and q. circular announcing that in a
few days Mr.. Somebody would call
with a copy of 1.-The Housewives
Friend" compilation of choice re-
cipes, together with a thousand and
one domestic hints invaluable to the
inexperienced housekeeper.
.'You may laugh, but even found a
lawyers card, inscribed: Legal bust
ness attended to promptly and without
publicity Do you suppose the scoun-
drel thought I'd want divorce before
the end of the honeymoon? But that
isn't all. We were swindled out of
our quiet evening, too. Can imagine
how they found out we'd rea ched home
but three polite insurance agents call
ed, one after another, before 100 clock.
Two of them were life insurance men,
and each tried to picture to mo what q
horrible thing it would be for, me to
die and leave wife-and perhaps a
child-unprovided for, and how likely
I was to die instantly. The third was
q fire insurance man, who wanted to
take risk on everything in the house
before we had time to sleep. From tho
way he pictured the horrors of a fire
you might have thought we were living
in powder-mill. I got mad finally
and told him to 60 to the devil. Well,
six more bores called on Saturday.
Then ! broke down, and to-day came
to the club to get away from them.
Take my advice, boys, and when you
get married don't put it in the paper. y
| Philadelphia Times.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
An Onerv Cuss. =

Captain Paul Boyton has opened an
aqu1tic museum In New York. He
E,ahquld secure 40 old fellow whom he
onntered dnring his float down the
ansaY river. Just before; reach.
Red Bluff, native, who had
heard. Of the captain, saw him
ii chat amt alligator said he,
II m a fish.
Springing into boat, he rowed out
to investigate. When within speaking
distance, the captain, who was afraid
OF being shot, raised up, and called
'Halloa!''
wall, I'll be dinged!' exclaimed the
old fellow, ceasing to row, and gazing
at the captain, who in his rubber suit,
looked like some terrible monster.
81 have heard o. a heap O. things an
have seed a few, but you air the fust
talkin alligator that lever seed. =
The captain, to humor the fellow,
and not knowing that his words would
enforce conviction, replied:
Eyes, don't many Of us talk, but I
got the hang of it somehow. =
wall, I'll be dinged," said the old
fellow, slowly rowing down the stream.
you must've larnt it from the Yam
KEGS
Yes
How'd they do it?''
"Split my tongue
Its a pity they hadn't split your
blamed head open, fur you'll cause
devilment enough, turned loose in this
river. Come out on the flank an let
me get a good look at you. I'd like fur
my wife to see you, fur she thinks that
I'm the ugliest thing next to a catfish,
but blamed if you don't lay over me.
Whar you goin', any how?"
"Going back down to the Missis-
sippi;,',
''Whar you been?'
''Been up to Fort Smith; went up
after school of bass. y
wall, I'll be dinged if you amt .
onery cuss.
'Say, if come out may stay all
night with you?''
Eyes, 60 little furder down thar
an yer ken git in the bayou an sleep
thar, but mind, if I.ketch you on my
trot-line you're gone up, talk or no
talk. Good bye; never seed the like O.
you befo' an I hope never to agin, y
and taking a final look, he unused:
''My Lawd, but he's a onery cuss. =
ArkQ1ssdaU Traveller
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
A Knowing Parrot.

A correspondent of the Norwich
Conn Bulletin is responsible fer the
following:
The venerable pastor of Putnam, the
Rev. Father Vygen, owns q parrot
which is a linguist, musician, telephone
operator, gynanast, and contortionist.
The bird will speak Irish, Dutch, Eng
lish and French, and learn a lesson in
any of them with remarkable facility.
Music charms him. He frequently es-
says to sing, and reproduces the sound
of the human voice so we'll that one
can tell whose voice he initiates. His
voice and humor are best generally in
the morning. He mimics the do
nestle animals, canary bird, cat, and
rooster; whistles for the little POODLE.
and kindly calls the Newfoundland
dog by a pet name. The names of the
household members are often on his
tongue. His friendship is perpetually
particular for certain individual; he
has fits of revenge, and is very violent
in self-defense. He commands, exhorts,
and denounces as if endowed with hui
man intelligence; has a somewhat reg
ular hour for retiring, manifesting his
desire therefore by 9 screech of impa-
tience. He undertakes to advise child
rem regarding the propriety of going to
school, and using handkerchief when
necessary. If the indolent youngsters
were as assiduous in their application
as this parrot, they would be bright
scholars. Although he seemingly dis
tinguishes where there is q difference
of rank, he has very little reverence for
the most distinguished in church or
state, and naturally has !, no thurman
respect" At times he assumes med
itativc mien, especially after active and
laxative scenes. He takes great de-
light in Ewhistling the raise-up-the-cur-
tain, and hurry-up-with-the-play ga
NUT, common in the opera houses and
halls; apparently knows good from evil
and is quick to declare that that quail
tJtexists in certain things. He put a
period to any current nonsense by his
Imperative .Stop!' appreciates the
physiological benefit of a hearty laugh
when in the proper mood; holds pro-
longed conversations by telephone and
otherwise, and manifests love for the
so-called almighty dollar on meet oc-
casions. The bird is wonderful above
his kind.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Vanity and Gloves.

y
..But to return to our first love,
gloves" continued the volatile young
lady, who spoke with a cultivated Bos-
ton accent, and viewed the reporter
through glasses. ''Give me at any
time the vainest of females to serve
rather than vain man. OF all created
things they are the worst" said she,
turning up her keen brown eyes with
an assumption of horror. "Actually,
they all want their gloves so tight that
they have to rub their hands with soap
stone tosget them on. 1t is fact;
many time have shortened the fin
gers of them. 1t takes man of this
type about seven times as long to de-
eide upon and be fitted to q pair of
gloves Us any woman"
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Unbidden. Guests.

The guests who attended my wedding.
breakfast were unique in character.
I was married in India. engaged fol
our honeymoon little house-sixteen
miles or so from any other habitation
of white men that stood on the steep
white cliffs of the Nerbudda river, which
here flows through a canon of pure
white marble. Close beside our house
was a little hut, where holy man lived
in charge Of an adjoining shrine, earn
ing money for himself and the shrine
by polishing little pieces of marble as
mementoes for visitors. 1t was won
derful place altogether, and, while my
wife, went in to change her dress, the
servants laid breakfast on the vcranda
Hooking the river. At the clatter
Of the plates there began to come down
from the big trees that overshadowed
the house, and up the big trees that
grew in the ravine behind It, from the
house-roof itself, from everywhere, a
multitude of solemn monkeys. They
came up singly, and in couples. and in
families. and took their places without
noise or fuss on the veranda, and sat
there, like an audience waiting for an
entertainment to commence. And,
when everything was ready. the break
fast all laid, the monkeys ali seated, I
1 went in to call my wife. Breakfast
j: ready, and they are all waiting" ]
said. ''Who are waiting?" she asked,
in dismay. Il thought we were going
to be alone, and was just coming out
in my dressing -gown. ''Never mind
now" I said. The people about here
are not very fashionably dressed them
selves. They wear pretty much the
same things all the year around" So
my wife came out. Imagine her aston
ishment. In the middle of the veranda
stood our breakfast table, and all the
rest of the space, as we'll as the ratings
and the steps, was covered with an inn
mcnse company of monkeys, as grave
as possible and as motionless and silent
as If they were stuffed! Only their eyes
kept blinking and their little round
ears kept twitching. Laughing heart
ily-at which the monkeys only looked
the graver-my wife sat down. 'Will
they eat anything?" asked she. '.Try
them, . / said. So she picked up bis
cult and threw it among the company.
And the result! Three hundred mon
keys or more jumped up in the air like
one, and Just for one instant there was
a riot that de6es description. The
next instant every monkey was sitting
in its place as solemn and serious as if
it had never moved. Only, their eyes
winked and their ears twitched. My
wife threw them another biscuit, and
again the riot, and then another and
another and another. But at length
We had given away all that we had to
give, and got up to go. The monkeys
at once rose, every monkey on the ver-
anda, and advancing very grayely to
the. steps, walked down them in a
solemn procession, old and young to-
gether, and dispersed for the days
occupation. From g Letter.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

Near the mouth of the Sutro Tunnel
in Nevada, there is q small lake, tile
Watersin which SIS kept continuously
warm by the hot water which flows in
tot from the mines. Recently the
mine superintenden sent to Florida
for two alligators. hen they arrived
the Temperature Of tho place was 10
degrees below zero and the alligators
were barely alive. Upon being put
into the warm lake, however, they TO
siyed and arc now growing rapidly.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
itching riIes->ymptom. andcu,

The symptoms are m DISTURB like persperat
intense itching, increased by scratching; v
distressing, particularly at night; seems as if
the private parts are sometimes affected. If
lowed to continue very serious result. NAV
low. "SWAfNE'S OINTMENT" a plea,
sure cure. Also for letter, Itch, Salt Rhe
Clcald Head, ErySipelas BARRIERS. Itch, Blste
lahscaly, c-usty Skin Diseases. Bog, by mai
Pts; for SIPS. Address, DR.. SWAY%EaS
ea LIZA. SOLD by druggists. Aprlg-t
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Dr.j.c.Ayer & Co, Lowell, Mass.
Sold BY all Druggists; d, six bottles for rs.
5A'As'

III ache all oyer!" What common ex.
preston; and how much it means to many
a poor sufferer! These aches have
cause. and more frequently than is gener.
ally suspected. the cause is the Liver or
Kidneys. No disease is more painful or
serious than these. and no remedy is 50
prompt and effective as
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

Cata 1'rhal Throat Affectio MS,
hacking, Irritating Coughs, Colds, Sore kThroats,
cured by "Rongh On Coughs. Troches 15c Ii.
Ouid S5C.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
..ROU6hO.rCORN.s, ;,

,Palpltation, Dropscal. Sweilings, Dizziness. II
digestlon, Headac che, Sle.ples.ness cured s.Weii
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

PRETTY WOMAN.
Ladies who would retain freshness and vvacity,
Dont fail to try wells Health Renewrr.''
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

CROUCH ON TOTHACHE.v
Instant relief for NEURALGIA, Toothache, Face.
cahe. Ask for .Rough on Too'hache' Is and 25
cents. -.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

LIFE PREsERvER
:, youare losing your grip on life try "Wells'
Health Renewer." Goes direct to weak snots
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Free! Cards and Chromos,

We will send free by mail sample set ,oE.e
large German, French, and American Caiz5N
Of over 200 different designs, on receipt Of st
tor postage We will also send free by mail
samples, ten of our beautiful Chromos, onffssesE
OF ten cents to pay tor packing and postal
enclose confidential price list of our IS
chromos. Agents wanted. Address F. fsss5s
Co., % Summer Street, Boston, MasSs3s
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
VHOoPING Cn11e.

Wells Health Remover" restores health and
vlgor, cnres Dyspepsia, Headache, Nervous.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

lyon are failing, broken, worn out and neryonss
use wells Health Remover" 81. Druggists
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

three OF four hours every night coughing &c,
Trough on CoIghs.'' Troches Is. Balsam, CSC,
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

Ask for Wells 'sRough on Germs. . 15c, Chick
complete care Hard or soft corns, warts Of bun
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
THKr PEO

Strengthening, improved the best for bactn,b
pains IN chest or side, rheumatism neuralgia.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

and the many Throat Affections OF chidre
promptly, pleasantly and safely relieved
Though on Conghs." Trenches I5c Ralsam Q,
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

Trough on Pain' Porous Plaster,
Strengthening. improved the best for backache
pains in chest or side, rheumatism, neuralgia,
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
NE.aRT p.aEH.s.

Clears ont rats, mice, reaches, flies, ants. be1
bugs. sknnks, chipmunks, gophers, l5c. Drug
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Wide Awake.

The Hope OF the Nation,
Children, slow in development, puny, scrawny
aud delicate, use "Wells' Health ReneWer
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
Liver, Nj dns = or stomach r ro.u hi

E Symptoms; Impure blood, costive bowels, irreg.
ular appetite, sour belching, pains In side, back
clay.colored stools, bad breath, mo desire fcs
work, chis, fevers, irritability, Whitish tongue,
dry cough, dizzy head, with dull pam in back
part loss of e memory. foggy sight For these
Box GO Pills. by MALL q Cts for 81 OK. Address
DR.. SWAYNE q son, Phila.. Pa. Sold by
druggists. 81 .ss.e $500 5$sssA Dril 0-84
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04
{ ssloUGH oN cOUGAs..,

AK for Trough on Coughs" for Coughs, Gold
sore sel Inroaf, Hoarseness, Troches, 15c. Liaui
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1885-03-04

II n I, = for working people. Send 10 cents
uut Upostage, and we " i'll mail you free 4
HmnEroyal, valuable sample box Of goods
@Hfs that will put you in the way of making
more money in few days Than yon ey-
err thought possible at any buiness Capital not re-
CURED. You can live at home and work in spare
time only, or all the time. All of both sex
cents to IS easily earned every evening. That ali
who want to work may test the business, we make
this Unparalleled offer: To al who are not well
writing US. Full particulars, directions, ETC. sent
free. Immense pay absolutely sur, for all who
start at once. Don't delay. Address SrINsoN &
Co., Portland, Maine.
London Hair RextOrer Or "A tE ne.
lish. Toilet Article. Restores growth, color
gfoss, and softness. Removes Dandruff. Arts
tocrat.c families of Great Britain endorse If. Ee.
CANT dressing Fragrantly pcrfumed. The favor
cd IN fashion. At Druggists for 3s I'D, or rs Cts
OF u S. money. April 0-S5