St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1885-05-23
The New Musical Critic.

NODOuy VINO SdA6u upon 1IIo So9oc1-
mer limbs, his specialized orbs, or
the airline crease which divided
the hyacinthe locks into equasec-
tons on either side Of his bullying
brow, could doubt this for an in
slant. The managing editor, an
earthly creature, however, had his
doubts about the ethereal young
man, but, as the music critic had
come well recommended, the man
aging editor stifed his doubts, and
showed the young man to his desk.
The first job the young man was
given was to do the opera on the
opening night. He sailed forth in
evening dress with full score un-
der his arm, and his ear bullying
with melodious anticipations. Re-
turning, and having finished his
critique, he took it to the managing
editor, who babe him sit down and
read the stuff aloud. The young
mans soul was terribly shocked
that his splendid composition should
be called "stuff.' However, he be-
gan, with as good grace as he could
under the circumstances, as follows !:
"The tuneful sweetness of the macs
tro's chef-d 9uUre was never inter
preted with more engaging esprit de
cOY1s than by the artists in this me-
lodious aggregation. The chromat-
ie tints were laid on with a prodi-
gality Of fervor that sublimated the
appoggiatura and apotheosized the
contrapuntal tone-waves
Hold upI' exclaimed the man
aging editor. "What do You mean
by all that %
"Meanr' calculated the musical
critic. 'How do you suppose l
know? I've done work for the
great dailies, and nobody ever
asked what I meant. Shall I go
on ?"
The managing editor nodded, and
the young man proceeded, t'and
apotheosized the contrapuntal tone
waves with dynamic expulsion.
Signora Screechowl, the primest
prima donna, was in her best voice,
improved as it was by a slightly
catarrhal shading, which eradicated
those incisive murmurs which tickle
only the ears of the amateur lover
of the warbling muse. Her en-
bonpoint was grandly effective, and
no words can hope to depict the
cataclysmie effort Of her dolce far
niente in the bravura passage in the
seventh bar
81 can't make it out a bit" sadly
murmered the managing editor ;
'sbut as you have worked on the
great dailies I suppose it's all
right
The young man said "Yes,'' and
went on, ''Signor Macaroni, the
tenor assoluta, attacked with con-
summate oplomb, advanced in col
umn by division, closed in mass,
and carried the work Of the great
maestro by an adroit movement in
echelon. y
"Was there a battle-scene in the
opera? innocentiy inquired the
managing editor.
"Battle-scene r exclaimed the
young man, contemptuously. NO,
sir, no battle or other than the
forceful conflict Of lyrical acoustics. :
r said the managing editor,
81 understand. Proceed.
"But the climax of mellifuous
grandeur was attained when Mdlle.
Lotoni, the ultracontralto, entered
the lists. The coolish freshness Of
her tuneful tongue was something
astounding in its castadivan effects.
The chiaroscuro Of her andante
adagio was complemented perfectly
by. the middle distance Of her ada
gio-andante, and the two achieve
ments together coruscated through
the house with all the grace and
witchery Of the gemini of astronom-
ical familiarity
Il guess that will do" said the
managing editor. II don't care to
hear any more tonight. I'm not
feeling very well, and a few more
lines might send me into a brain
fever. Your critique is a splendid
one-the best by far l ever heard,
/ nf the kind Xxx.