Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1885-09-03
A ~CANTANKEROUS PUG.
The Trouble "GoogIes'' Caused and
His AwfdI Expense Account.
Forest and Stream

Forest and Stream.
Pet dogs that have been contamin~
ated by their contact with human
beings, and especially those little lat
ter day saints that have managed to
win a ribbon or SO for their little, lady
owners at a bench STOW, put old Buff
fon'S analogous conclusions as regards
the dogs mental pliability and 4ocil-
ity to flight.
OF course there are exceptions, at
least it IS fondly to be hoped there are,
but to the average stalwsrt there is no
greater pest on earth than a spelled,
dyspeptic, cantankerous, inbred pug.
1T usakes the veins of my forehead
swell, an3 my hat suddenly grow too
small for me, said a well known club
man the other day, ito think Of one
little pet brute in particular. He re-
sides where am stopping at present
lin fact he belongs 10 my wife. [
little thought when the dog ,hawker,
who has beefste2lSs tied to his legs to
ailude dogs, stopped me on Broadway
and suggested that / should buy the
fawn colored pest, that he had designs
on my peace of mind. Otherwise l
should have stranged him. In a weak
moment | went home and told my
wife | had seen such a pretty pug-I
thought the dog pretty then. From
that moment ] had no rest; she want
ed him at once. / tried to dodge the
issue, but no good. Every day | came
up town my wife would throw her
arms around my neck-I have been
married three wears and know what
that Island whisper; Darling, has
the man sold that pretty pug YETI Nor
Then Charlie, dear, won't YOU buy
him for me2 The Grigeses have a pug,
and it makes me sick to think |
haven't got one, too / bought hat
pug, and we nave had fleas ever sikce.
For two weeks my wife kept me
awake at night asking me how 1
liked this name and that name for her
pct. She went though every book in
the library in search of an inspiration.
II was no use. Then she te8sed me
for names. / suggested 'Kapitanos
Antitratikas, and she laughed at me.
| mentioned 'Stutfeymeguzzen,' and
she got mad. / then retired frum the
christening racket, and she settled on
GOGGLES. There were other GOGGLES
in the deg world, so our pug is now
known as Lanjans GOGGLES, and
greatness has thus been thrust upon
me. Such is fame.
MY wife came home one day aud
said that there was 10 be a dog show,
and that she lad entered GOGGLES,
and that she wanted me to tx up a
pedigree right straight off. | did it.
| copied most of il out Of "Burke's
Peerage," adopting only the Christian
names. II took better than auy pedi.
gree / ever heard OF, and GOGGLES o
the prize. But my wife made enemies
of seventeen OF her most intimate
lady friends, ell of whom have been
trying to buy or steal GOGGLES ever
since.
Nov that GOGGLES has become a
winner he has put on more frills than
a dozen virgin queens. He smashes
things, chews things, bites things,
destroys things, and steals things. He
gets sick, and the family physician has
TO be called in. He has the cauker,
and when he gets we'll Of it ne starts
in on the mango. He gets better and
has TO ride IN the park. He RECEIVERS
and gobbles everything he sees. Just
run your eye over this paper con
cluded Mr.. Lanian, and see what
IGoogles has cost during the month;