The Cecil Whig., 1885-12-12

the title, I'm Haying- lime" We sup
pose it must have grass-plot.
DR.. Tanner says that, with the un-
aided eye, only about 5000 stars can be
seen. DR.. Tanner has evidently never
been on skates.
A Sioux chief is learning to ride the
bicycle, and the final determination OF
the aboriginal race is now only ques-
ton of time.
Mr.. John G. Goodridge, Jr., asks IN the
Scientific american: "Would dam
warm our winters?" 1t doesn't seem
improbable that it would, as it often
warns one up after severe fall.
The d, teo otives investigating the Sharp
less murder are just where they started.
There's chance, of course, that the
real criminal will confess some day, if
they wait till he gets good and ready.
''Herr Professor, how do like my new
tragedy?' very much, indeed. Espc-
cialIy the robbers. They are frst-rate.
In fact, they are the best thieves ever
heard of; even the words they speak are
stolen from other books"
Magistrate (to wi ,ness): Now, bear in
mind, Uucle Rastus, that you have
sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth. Uncle Ras-
tus(somewhat flustrated): Yves, sab,
but h-hopes de gemmen II go kinder
slo' on de stat sab, cos yo' sees, yo'
honah, hain't yuse ter dat sort o.
thing
When Boston woman loses her leg
she gets buri al permit, inserts amputa-
ton as the ''cause of death" and has A.
Limb tastefully engraved on the casket.
Then she goes and gets cork leg,
which is unnecessary. as a Boston VIC
man is always a corker.
Young Mr.. De Ly'eGn the conversa-
tory):, May present you with bud,
Miss Societie, from this beautiful plant?
Miss Societie (blushing): Oh, thank you,
Mr.. De Lyle. You are very Fairy of
the Household Gripping i'm: guess
papa wouldn't like you to pick any of
the flowers, Mr.. De Lyle; they are only
rented for this evening.
A disciple of Blackstone at Albany,
Ca, was met carrying home 'possum.
He was asked: "Hello, j., what is that?"
"'Possum" "What are you going to do
with him?' "I'm going to have big
'possum supper" GLOW many will be
there ?" 1.-TWO; me and the 'possumr'
''The young lady is in evening Dress"
said one of DR.. Holmes friends as a
rather elaborately dressed damsel STEP
ped out on the hotel piazza to admire
the sunset. 'The close of the day, my
dear SIR" remarked..the witty professor.
THAT is Holmes -pun," was the reply,
II am worsted,' concluded the poet.
Men who have no greater respect fer
even the appearance of things than
Downs and Messaros should step down
and out.-Lancaster Mteligencer. Now,
why wouldn't it do just as well for them
to ''step up and out" or cover aud out"
or cup and under ?" Perhaps they've
been stepping down too much already.
'What struck you most during your
travels last summer - asked the pastor.
"Well,' the deacon replied, in musing
way, "he couldn't just exactly say. He
rather thought the sleeping-ca porter
struck him the oftenest, but the waiter
struck him for the biggest stakes" And
the poor, bewildered pastor only sighed
and said "Ah," inquiripgly, and wished
that he had more intellectual companion
ship in his yokefellows of the church.
Longfellow and Fields were making a
short pedestrian tour some years ago,
when, to their surprise, an angry bull
stood in the pathway, evidently deter
mined to demolish both poet and pub.
Usher. 81 think" said Fields, that it
will be prudent to give this reviewer a
wide Margin" YES" replied the poet,
''it appears to be disputed passage