The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1885-12-20
The Trials and Troubles of a
London Sight-Seer: sga
THE OBJECTS OF INTEREST.
Briefly but Graphically Viewed by
Herald COrrespOndent-A Guide
Book in HIMSELF. 30 7sFr
LokboN. No9ember q. ISIS.
ofTHE HERALD. 80


Doing London" is a queer express
sion. 1t is used by the genius who
deems himself capable of learning all
that is necessary about this metropolis
of the world in four days, as he flies
about; the less self-conscious person
who has two weeks laid aside for the ac-
complishment of the same task makes
use of the same words to every person
( from whom he is asking information;
/ while with the still more modest visitor
! who devotes a month to the undertak-
ing, tits pet expression. Even the
resident Of this city makes use of it,
and well he may, for, there is always
something to do" and this2 dong" is
necessarily a part of the London gen
tleman's current education. 1t depends
on the kind of sightseeing a man does,
as to the length of time required to
take in this huge city. For the average
person one day is. as good as a month,
since when he has gone, he is able to
ell you among other experiences that
he has been to London; and it's an
''awlee" big place to be '.shuah.' But
to one who lis Adesirous of gaining ex-
tended knowledge a lifetime seems in
sufficient to enable him thoroughly to
inspect and obtain a rational under
standing of the many great things that
are to be seen in London. After the
first days outing heis thoroughly dis
couraged-( supposinghe has but week
or ten days at his 1isposal) and he gapes
about him like a housewife during the
cleaning season when she has so many
things to DO that she is at a loss where
| to begin first. The most serYiceable
| guide book is obtained and tozthis the
| heart-sick pilgrim turns for such COM
! fort and consolation as only guide
book can give. Here he learns thatit
| is absolutely impossible for the most en-
ergetic tourist to obtain even superb
cial acquaintance with London, its at
fractions and enviroAs, in less than
month; and here he is with nine DAYS
and one Of them Sunday, in which he is
to do more thorough work than the
all-consoling guide book says can be
done in thirty. In sheer desperation he
flies out, SeizeS passing bus, and rushes
pell nell Zone might say Pail Mall here)
TO Westminster. He goes through it
like fellow who fears he will lose his
train, or like "Japheth in search of his
Father" Then st. Paups; then through
the National Museum. where he sees
number of ancient daubs on Scriptural
topics which antiquity and the subject
treated are supposed to render sacred,
] L Oh e.. j.
purposes, neither useful nor interesting.
! Then he flies to the British Museum
and takes a run through the College of
Surgeons, If it happens to be open that
| day. he goes to the MinarieS where he
sees the outside of that beastly looking
mass of buildings. (but more interest
| ing than all else in London besides, in
an historical senSe) the famous Tower
| of London. After this be bolts off to
The South Kensington Museum away at
| the other end of the town, riding on
| the outside of bus the whole way that
he may get view of the streets, enjoy
| ing himself in his temporary and dearly
! bought rest, Notwithstanding the fact
thatitis raining like wrath all the while.
Reaching South Kensington Museum
| he is sure to find it one of the days on
which he has to pay; goes inside and
discovers that the place closes at 4
O'Clock and he did not get in until after
5. Maddened by the knowledge
that 1t is impossible for him to come
again he rushes through like bull in
china shop, unable to see third of the
/ departments or remem bering scarcely
anything that comes within the range
OF his Swiftly-surveying OPTICS he
travels in the Underground five miles to
get his lunch and then goes to pit seat
! IN one OF the West End Theatres; sue
ceeds IN manning himself to get in and
kinks his neck through the whole per-
| Torrance in order to see what is going
on, while the chattering of ia half-drunk-
en- butcher near and some noisy friends
entertain him with such lively stories as
the weight of bulls and the amounto
| trade done such as renders IL imposs--
bic for him TO keep his attention on the
piece and places it beyond the bounds
of probability for him to keep track of
the dialogue of the play. For this lux
ury he paws fifty cents. Then, come the
| a hop-skir-jump, the plan being to spend
the afternoon and evening at the Inven-
| tons Exhibition. Four or five hours
are allowed for this; while four or five
weeks might be consumed. Concerts
are going on at all hours in different
parts of the Exhibition; the grounds
must be seen and yet ii is pouring with
rain; and when the hour for illumina-
ton arrives-6 pm. to the second-at
which the grounds are instantly Lighted
and made gorgeous and like falry-land
] by the many colored electrical lamps,
swinging IN the trees, covering the build
! ings, laying in the flower beds, hall
buried in the grass, or floating IN the
ponds at this supreme movement, when
! the fountain is Illuminated and turned
into every color and tint under heaven
this sight to see, which is worth nan
! of all, to the lover of the fantastic ana
phenomenal--aJ this supreme moment
be is probably in the Chinese depart
nent looking at his watch to see now
long it will be before the instantaneous
illumination which is already past, IS 10
take place. He doesn't leave until
driven out at 10 pm and inly VOWS he II
go again But he breaks that vow. me
guide book has long since been thrown
aside as totally inadequate for the e1-
listing emergency; and by that peculiar
" fortuitOus confederation Of circnln-
staDces which the fafes are forever