davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
IArkansaw Traveller.


A rather absurd, though true story comes
from st. Louis. Judge Wilmington Gray,
of Arkansaw, went to 81. Louis 70 assist in
arranging the debt of railroad in which he
is interested. After eating heartily of supper
the judge retired to his room. The weather
was so warm that he left the door of his room
open. Some time during the night persons
who roomed near the Judge were awakened
by strange sounds which issued from his
room. Several men went To the door
and looked in. Tie judge was hopping
around ON ''all fours.h Once, climbing ON
to sofa he stretched his mouth until it
almost extended from ear to ear, uttered a
loud ''ick, AMI leaped to the floor. A por-
ter grasped the judge by the shoulder, shook
him and asked what was the matter The
Judge awoke with start, and, excusing HIM
self, crept into bed. The strange perform
snce was soon explained. The judge bad
eaten frogs at supper.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
CelestiaIs with white Wives.


Ii has come to be saying that when n
Chinaman arrives in this city with the in
tention Of going into business all he requires
is a room. wash tub stove, two fiat
irons and a wife, The wife is considered as
much OF necessity as any other article Of
the house and she is generally chosen with
more of an eye to business than to love. A
Chinaman Is particular to get a healthy
wife and a womaa with fair knowledge of
washing and ironing is preferable, butit is
not imperative that she should know all
about that business. She can soon be taught
it. Health and strength are the first re-
quisites. After thess the rest viii follow.
Five years ago prejudice was so strong
against Cinnamon that they could not get
women to marry them, but pre- ejudice against
them has gradually died away till now
Chinaman can get a wife, as oae said the
other day, "Allee samee as Meiican man.
In a few instances they have secured young
and pretty wives, but more often they have
chosen companions less beautiful than Helen
of Troy
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
CURRENT SAYINGS.

Who preacheth much aud hard against the
charm --~-. 8&e
or money-getting. styling Il harm,
Vet has for higher pay an itching palm
The s'ar-oui
Who practiseth to cnTe-perchance 10 Kill
and quite uncertain, guesseth az our III,
Bl 10 certain hit or miss, to send hls Dill
tpss INC DoS'oi
Who counteth futures" blessings In disguise,
And corners" !" cen IN grain, scarce otherwises
And ioo<eth on the margin" as a pfizeg
;. 49, The Broker!
Who speculateth high with others cash,
And cutteth for a time royal dash.
Then sudden goeth to demnition Smash
The Cashier
Who looketh wisely from LIS lofty lair,
Cussseth tomorrow weather here and there,
Cries fair when all comes foul, and soul when
fairs
Who hath direction Ia our homes, and fnll,
III til concerns domestic hath the pull
AnG takcth by the horns, as 'twere, the buhE
The Mother-in-Law
Who putteth on the housckeeper head
As 'twerv, when sendeth he his bill so dread
For charcoal, solder. and little lead
The Plumberl
Who. of an moTtals holding us in thrall
Ia some way, on this eyer-whirling ball.
Lettcth us down tEe easiest of all
The Undertaken.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
WHEN JACK IL TALL AND
TWENTY.

when Jack l. tall and twenty,
We know what Jack will do
With girls 80 sweet and plenty,
Hen find him one to WOO,
And soon the lovers twilight
VIII hear a story told,
And jack will die or fly sky high
For the sake ~ hair Of gold.
IicnTkcn, Jack, and heed me
Ponder what J say
'IiS fools are sold for locks Of gold,
For gold will turn 20 gray.
but Jack IL truth be spoken.
Is simple Jack no more
III gold his heart has broken.
lis scarce the gold Of yorc.
lie wots OF dover for daughters
Not All Ia ringlets rolId; --a ID al
To beauty stecl'd, his heart will yield
To stamped and minted gold
Hearkeu, Jack, aud heed me
Pardon what say
If gold hath wings, "a poets sing,
Then gold may fleet away.
When Jack goes forth a-woOing,
II Jack has heart or head,
And would not soon be rueing
The hour that saw him wed,
He will not pine for graces,
Nor Cringc for wealth TO hold,
but strive and dare by service far
TO win heart Of gold.
HeRrken, Jack. and heed me
Ponder what / say
The gear will fly. the bloom will die,
But love will last for aye.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
lchicago Herald.l

An attempt is about to be made to settle
the vexed question as to whether the bones
OF Columbus rest in Cuba or San Domingo. In
1877 it was announced that the people of San
Domingo had discovered that the bones sup
posed to be those Of Columbus, which had
been conveyed to Havana with great pomp,
were spurious bones, and that the genuine
bones still lay in Dominican soil With the
view of settling this point in dispute, tho
government of San Domingo has invited .
large number Of savants to attend the inter-
national congress- which viii open in the
capital 81 that republic on the 10th OF Sep
tember next The government viii submit
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
Detroit Free Press.


The other day middle-aged man, who
betrayed the fact that he was a stranger in
the city, appeared at the Central market
and purchased and ate dozen pears. These
were followed by dczsn plums, and, after
a brief rest, by half Of large watermelon.
He then took some lemonade and bought
some candy, and sat down to wait until his
stomach could take in something more In
a little while he was noticed to be uneasy.
end soon after that he inquired for doc
tor.
Anything wrongr asked the stand
keeper
,...o- cholera morbUs. How much will il
cost me to see doctor and get curef
"Oh, abou. s..
"Just what | figgered on before left
bone-iust exactly. I'll have seventyfive
cants left. and you hold on to that couoanut
until come back. want to finish of on
rocnquut
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
Precocious In Remarkable Sense.
fs*Cath VI


At the cloDe Of the revolution Washington
was 81 years old; at the close of the civil
war Grant was i3 years old. When Lincoln
debated with Douglas, the first time any
thing was ever known about him, he was 40
years old. When Grant captured Fort
Donelson, the most important event which
had taken place on this continent in mill
tary way since the surrender Of Cornwallis,
he was only 10 years old. Let any man 40
years Of age ask himself whether he feels
confident that lie could do something like
that When Grant became president he
was only 40 years old. Let any man OF Al
ask himself If he could he wise in all res
poets and suit all the newspaper presidents
in everything at the age q 46.
The fact is, that this man has been preco-
cious in a remarkable sense. and we are only
able TO perceive his life and its full relations
now that he is no more.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
A Marine Band.

The chief Of the fire department was dead,
and the boys determined to give him an inn
posing burial.
The Marine bani' was hired for $50 TO
head the procession.
As they passed the postofiice the band
played with extraordinary vigor Amid the
sequence of explosions from the horns and
the clash and booming of drums and Gym
balls it would have taken a musical expert
to distinguish the tune.
why do they call it the Marine bandf
asked Pete Lathrop of his friend Oliver.
'.D-d-don't know" was the suffering re-
ply; ''unless its b-b-b-because they're all at
s-s-sea."
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
RE. FISK D. W FISH, A. ]. FISH,
Publishers HRd ProPrietors.
Largest Circulation Of any Paper in Montana
"ADAY IN THE COUNTRY"

I'cnt in close, unwhoe-omc places,
Where the san can scarcely shine.
Little children, with pale faces,
Ia their abiect squallOr pine.
lis "A spot that's fcycr-haunted,
Where they draw "a poisoned breath;
But the poor work on uudaunted,
ia that atmosphere OF 81 death.
Though the children that they cherish
swiftly fade away aud die;
Though the little babies perish,
And In nuIgClr-S grVfe-plOt lie;
~ttl the workers plod on grimly,
Where the thick, black smoke is curlcl
Sometimes, maybe, feeling dimly
There somewhere brighter world.
-s----r ----r~~p.s.--...-r-.ssrSsSNsaa <s3SA
Those poor children, sad the story,
Never saw stately tree.
Nc'-r bchcld the sunset glory,
O'er the flower 5espanglcd lea
Never saw the starry daisies,
And the streams that wimplc down;
Iar the meadow fragrant mazes
From the close courts Of the town
Thpy have never seen the ocean
Break ia thunder on the strand
Ail the wild waves mad commotiuu,
When the surge O'crlcaps the land
Never known the twilight tender,
When the -tonn-wind has passed by
OR the pale moons silver splendOr,
When the sea reflects the sky.
Take them one day, then, from sorrow,
From the haunt- Of sim and crime.
That from gladnc-- they may borrow
Comfort for the attertime.
Iet them see the country smiling,
Shining stream and tiOwer-Clad plain
All their wee sad hearts ,SsguiliuE
From life 20 fun Of pain.
Dut small luxury uuta=tcd,
One delight iu an thu hoUr-,
And the pittancc won't be wasted,
since the children see the flowers
sir. your buttonhole haas pOsies,
Madame, your f,tn, too. suppose
You for once give up your roses,
That the children see one rose.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
SORRY FOR THE LORD.

I'm gettin' sorry fur you, I-awd
Indeed an trufe, | am.
DE niggahs wants 80 monst Gus much
'Cep Gilead an De BAN.
Dcy prays fur ev'rytihg dey needs,
Dat work " ould bring EN- all,
An wants lie fruit of all de yarth
Iis' like befo' de fall
I heerd a niggah prayin', Lawd,
His very lebel bes'
For Christmas time de whole year rom
An all de time a res;
He axed to have de chickins roos
Down ON de loves linn,
An turkeys jcs on top de fence,
Ia easy reach er him.
Come stately steppin', oh good Lawd,
Pom yo' lily-white steed,
An smash dem sassy niggahs down,
An brui-e de sarptnt's seed.
Dey howls to you de liyelong night
An robs 20 Of 20 sleep,
kase dey's too lazy fur TO sow.
An got no crap to reap.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

Washington Hafchet

Mutterings of a revolution against Presi-
dent Diaz are beginning TO be heard in Mex
leo. A strong opposition to him has been
organized. If the worst comes 10 the worst,
we hope he viii Diaz as game as the writer
of this sentence ought to die painfully.
Teersiaa Tua, 10 years of age, makes Sc
900 year as violinist. The young man
who makes love Tua ought 10 have an ear
for music; but il is to be hoped every young
lady wilfnot attempt Tuacquire a mastery
over the violin after reading this. Guess
well have Tuapologize now and bring the
paragraph Tua close.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

DAILY Graphic.l

James Russell Lowell delivered the grafton
at the unveiling of bust of the poet Gray,
at Cambridge England, the other day, and
the telegraph announced that ''the audience
was most select" Ii did not say who
selected the audience, but the presumption
is that il selected itself. When an audieace
selects itself a. the most select we know it
is so. because when they select themselves
as a matter of course they are the select,
and those whom the select select are the
most select No doubt Russell got into
select society over there II he had to select
IL himself
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
IMIIIGHT.

The hour = !ui ofvoices every throat
Pipes bls.hcly its sweet farewell TO the sun,
Round darkening boies the lingering shadows
float. go
And an tho pageantry OF day u done. -~~
The miIkmaid's song drops down the odorous
breeze
And dies upon the sense by slow degrees.
Dark purple grows the distant fading hill,
The first star smiles in the fast deepening SKY
Dark purple crecps the stream beyond the mill
To where thick mists on the long levels hei
White clouds low down the West their cars have
rolled
Where fades the suns red splendor TO glory OF
gold.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

Young Society Belle-Oh, DR. Portman, I
am SO glad met you. have such an import
ant question 1 want to ask you. | am so
anxious, you kno y. not 10 do any thing that
do not think my pastor could fully approve,
and do want 10 know if you think novel
reading is wrongs
DIR. Portman-No, my dear young lady,
think | may say that l do not deem novel
reading sin.
Young Society Belle-Oh, l am so glad.
/ told the girls | did not think you would
DIR. Portman-No, my dear young friend,
/ think that the reading of history and
science, and works of travel, is highly salu-
tary to the youthful mind. And l am quite
sure that that would be novel reading to
YOU.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
CROSS SECTION OF HULLs SHOWING HEIGHT
OF MAsTS.

The first thing that impresses one on see
ing the above is the tremendous height OF
mast compared with the size OF the hull. 10
overcome this difficulty and render them
buovant lead il attached to their keels.
which in the Genesta's case amounts TO ~
tons. while the Puritan carries between %
and 40 tons of lead fastened to her Keel.
since the Genesta has arrived on these
shores every precautton has been taken by
her owners to prevent our press or people
learning much about her construction.
When she was raised in the dry dock it was
expected IN opportunity would pe given 70
Gee her shape. at other times under water.
Put her owners again objected, 50 that re-
sort was had to a detective camera ID thf.
hands Of reporter, and rrom bis photo
graph, su-reptitiously obtained, was en-
eraved our Diagram. The extreme narrow
1ess of ths Genesta and shalowness Of the
Puritan i hsre plainly shown.
The history and dimensions OF tne TWO
vessels are a. follows: The Genesta was
built bv Messrs. Henderson Bros, at rat
rick-on -the-Ciyde. She Is ~ feet over an
81 feet on the water line, ID feet beam,
1lsi feet depth OF hold and la1s iees
draught. Although originally she had on'y
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

DECK PLANS OF THE PURITAN AND GENEsTA.
These are rs distinctive as can be. The
UPPER one !; the Puritan, which is quite
broad compared with her foreign sister, who
it will be noticed is amazingly slender
WASTED. her breadth o. beam being but ID
feet, while the puritanicai lady is - feet
inches across her widest part. The length
of the Genesta's deck is 90 feet while her
antagonist is G5 feet 1t might be said at
once that the Ganesta being the simmer
boat, everything else being equal, would
cut through the water much easier Yes,
but what she gains in breadth had 10 be
added to her depth or draught, SO that what
j. gained In her narrowness compared with
tie Puritan Is lost in the resistance offered
to the water through her increased On aught
and herein lies the chief distinction between
the American and English types. The Eng.
lish boat builder, conforming 70 ths narrow
and deep rivers and harbOrs of his land m
structs his vessels 10 correspond. The
American builder has male a virtue Ot
necessity; cur shallow rivers can be navi-
gated with the greatest ease by tn vsssa.
Of the lea-. draught SO the Yankee con
struct, what The Britisher calls ''sl-immln-
dishe !" that is a vessel with the least puss.-
bic draught and the greatest pos ibis bcGm
GDl~a%tttfts Win lNSb Nls3AA- HAAA&tltt~
overcome the sliding movement sidcwari
when the wind blows az right angles. fOl
instance to the course Of yacht, tine Yam
kee invented the centerboari. which takes
the place Of deep keel, with the aivaat4 g1
that il can be raised or lowered, thu per-
hitting the yacht TO sail in shallow as well
as deep water. The English learned mu IA
in boat building from ths yacht America,
which in 1851 distancel the yachts of all
nations IN a race at Cowcs. coming ia seven
or eight miles ahead OF her closest compel
tor. In fact, it i said that Queen Victoria,
o. hearing the result OF that race, asked;
Which is second.' To which was replied:
"-lh. NAV il please yonr majesty, there Is
no second.
But the English have not adopte the cen
t. board That still maius distinctive
American feature.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

MAP OF The &EM tNk YACHT CLUB
COURSE
Th1 Cond race tZel Tor to-dag /, the one
in with the creates Interest i centsrei.
Il is over tine usual yacht club comss. a
length Df about thirty-eight statute miles.
The order for il Is 5 follows:
In this race the conts ing yachts il art-
ing win cross an imaginary line drawn from
the judges Gamer, anchored about quar-
ter Of a mile below tuoy No. Is, opposite
Owls Head, l.. J., and e mark boat anchored
inshore from the steamer, thence Qzeeping
outside OF Fort Lafayette to and around
buoy No. 10. passing TO the west and south
Of it, thence % buoy No. 81, passing south
Of il, and north of buoy No. ;, of the point
Of Sandy Hook, to and around Sandy Hook
Eghtship, turning it from north AMI east,
and then returning over the same course TO
the finish line, drawn between the home
stakeboat, which will be anchored abreast
Of and to the eastward Of buoy No, y, and
that buoy. All yachts must pass 10 the
eastward Of West Bank buoys Nos 9, III,
13 ami -, and to the westward Of red buoys
Nos l0l4, II, IA and 1G, both going and re-
turning. A. J. boutwell,
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
A Hammock for Two.

Girl viii look at your hammockS
please.
Dealer-Yes, miss. Now, there is some
thing nice. Not expensive. but at the same
time pretty and strong.
Girl-lt doesn' look very strong.
Dealer will guarantee 1T to sustain q
weight of $40 pounds, miss.
Girl-Let me SEE, 120 ami lG5 would be
just 2s5-very well. viii take that one.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
LONGITUDINAL SECTION or GESEsrA.
LoNGITrD1NAL SECTION OF PURITAN.

In these outline broadside views of ths
competing yachts il shown among other
points II difference ona that il very favor
able ID the Ganes'a. II will be noticed that
her keel u round from stem To stern. almost
ike ths bottom Of pot. This enables her
to spin around when changing her course or
tacking at : much greater speed than her
yival while the Ganesta can b. put about
IN fifteen seconds, it requires the Puritan at
least doubls that time. This time. short a.
it may appear. j. a very serious matter when
many tacls are necessary in rae 50 IL
will be seen il is not only an international
contest, but It i battle between types Of
vessels 0f entirely distinctive models, and on
its resIlt win depend many points id the
naval r-rl. 'cture Of the near future
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
THE CONTESTING BOATS
DIAGRAMS AND CON-
PARlSON OF THE TWO MODELS.
The English and American Tyres of
facht-Their Distinctive Features
and Principal Points OF DIFF
ference Clearly shown.

NEW YORK. Ssps. 9-All eyes being
turned this week TO the international yacht
ing contest in progress at the entrance to
New York harbor. in which the two feet
est ''single stick yachts of England AMI
America are contesting their speed, we
present here with carefully engraved dia-
grams, showing better than columns Of
description the distinctive characteristics
of the two types Of yachts. This being a
race between types renders the drawings
almost necessary 10 explain the difference
in the models
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

London Judy.l

London judy
Musical Amateur Ito Irish fiddler)-My
good friend, do You play by note
Irish Fiddler-Divil a note, sor.
NJ. A--Do you play by ear, then I
4. F.-Divil an ear, your honor.
NJ. Allow do you play, then
l. F.-By main stringth, be jabbers and
its moighty dry work.!
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

An irreverent correspondent says: The
duchess OF Eiinburg is most curious eater
Her appetite is simply ravenous, and when
she dimes out she eats SO much more than
every one else that she is always the last,
only that people pretend to go on and hum
bug with the food on their plates tlll she is
done
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

Courier Journal |

us your pa at home, little girlf' Eyes,
sir, do You wish to sea him!' "Yesn But
you won't know him if You do see himm
why, what's the matterf We'll, You
see, out In the country on our farm, a man
and his wife got fighting, and pa be tried to
stop them" ''Oh, indeed!'' ''Yes, you'd
better call again. You wouldn't know pa
uaxv
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
Newman Independenr: -H nat an

Newman independent: "unar and when
to Eatin is the title Of an article in an ex-
change. The when" never gave US any
trouble in our eating, but we have been
compelled to do q laundering sight Of skir-
mishing after the ''what-"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

San Francisco Chinese are not content
with the monopoly OF the laundry business
Of the city, but they control ninety nine
huudrsdths cf the pork industry as well
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08

There il little demand now for the fine
wines in the cellar Of the Carlton club, Lon
don, and at this house the drink most in de.
mAud Is barley water.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
Helena, Montana, Thursday, October s. 1885.

to the judgment Of this congress its proofs
thsi San Domingo possesses the only real
botffs Of Colum bus i'm existence
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1885-10-08
A DETERMINED POSTMASTER.
The Owner of the Posfofnce at May
Bloom Refuses to Give 1t Up.

Squire Zangford is displeased with the
present administration. The squire, who
was postmaster at May Bloom, was recently
removed, or rather, was informed that here
after his public duties will be discharged
by some other citizen. Upon receiving in
formation # bis dismissal. the squire ad-
DIRE ssei tb, following letter To the president:
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-20

ing down Austin street. when Charlie
GOT down and left Alex. sitting be-
hind the saddle. Tho animal took
fright at something and ran away
across the square, and in making
jumps threw the boy over his head
but luckily the little fellow WAS only
stunned and not seriously hurt
The renowned Milton Hrothrr',. Ell.
and VIII, fancy trick and acrobat,
,hatcr-. will appear Al Che,sman'
Iijn' on saturday night. March 3lst
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-20

Elegant fish dinner at the st
( harlc> to-day
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1885-03-20

Exports Tins week. Great Britain. l1 u
France ans continent no o., stock a. Cuit,,
state, ports thi, dnN 7iAs'i this duy u.tycor
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1885-08-19

Spare your eloquence, Mrs. Sew
erance," she said, for it is in vain
No earthly inducement can persuade
me to marry your son."
Then why have you lured him
on ?" burst out the mother.
Because" Carita answered, u
wished to be reyengedI Mrs. Sever
ance, had mother once, who was
as dear to me as your son is 70 you
'-dearer, perhaps, for she was all /
bad, while you have wealth, rank,
hosts of friends. Your hands con-
signed her to a prison tomb. Twas
but a child at the time, but we
Southerners develop earlier than
the children of a colder clime-and
at her grave / vowed to be avenged.
To day | fulfill my vow p
And then, with a marvellous aecu-
racy OF memory, she recalled to Mrs.
Severance the September day when
all the fashionable world rallied
around Mrs. MounJoy's croquet
breakfast-the dark-eyed foreign
woman, with the little dancing child
the pitiful cry for mercy. the
quickly pronounced doom.
There is compensation in the
world, Mrs. Severance" she added
with smile cold and mocking as
the glitter of Northern lights ''and
my poor heart-broken mother can
rest quietly now in her grave"
Claude Severance sailed for the
East the next day, and his mother
never saw his face again.