The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1885-01-28
THE sPOOPENDYKEs.
They Give an Histrionic Exhl.
y bitlOn.


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"My DEAR said Mrs. spoopen.
dyke, contemplating herself in the
glass as she removed her hat and
gloves, "My dear, wasn't the thea.
ter just Too sweet for anythipgl Do
you know, | think / would like Ia
go on the stage"
"Like to drive, perhaps" sug.
gested Mr.. spoopendyke.
81 mean act ,Dreplied his wife,
81 think could do it as well as
any of those women tonight. Do
you know much about theaters2 Is
it hard2"
"No," grunted Mr.. spoopendyke,
tugging at his boots. "It wonld be
easy for you. All you have to do
is stand around and talk, and you
won't want anyrehearsals for that
aBut 1 would have to practice
twisting around SO as to fall in that
mans arms like she did" unused
Mrs. spoopendyke. 81 dom! think
l could do it as gracefully as she
did without trying several times .
"That's the part you want to
play, is it," gtowled Mr.. spoopsn.
dyke, mithsa shade Of green in5liis
eye. "You let me see you fall on
any mans shoulders like that, and
you'll fnd no trouble in getting
twisted around a few times. What's
your idea in going on the stagea
Have you got stomach full OF de
votion to art like the rest of the
women of this generation2 Got a
notion that you can go on the
boards and show the old stagers
how its done, haven't ye? Feel
the fires Of hisirionic genius climb.
ing up your spine, don't yeR Well,
you don'tl It's nothing but your
measly vanity"
"Don't you think l would know
how to act?" she asked, pulling her
orimps over her forhead, assuming
a stern expression Of yisago, and
stretching her arms down rigidlyal
her sides. "This is the way
would foil the william"
as that what you call it2" in.
quired Mr.. spoopendike, nursing
his knee and glowering upon her
at looks more as if you were bid
ing against another woman for q
secondhand hair cloth sofa at an
auction. II that sort Of thing j.
calculated to foil the william he
must be pretty light in the waist
81 don't know" smiled Mrs
spoopendyke, rubbing her chin
"In all the plays | have ever seen
they always drive the bad man of
with naughty look. Say, dear
isn't this the way to welcome
a husband after a long absence2'
and she parted her lips, gazed Gag
ehY into arane. and extended heI
arms.
"That's the way to hail a street
CARP grunted Mr.. spoopendyks
"If you want to make the welcome
to the husband perfectly natural
you ought TO have a smell Of onion,
in the hall and your back hair il
your mouth. That's the kind o.
welcome | always get"
"Noyou dOn'l, eiLherl" protested
Mrs. spoopendyke. 81 always run
right up to you, and kiss you'll"
"Well, there's q smell Of onions
about it somewhere" persisted Mr.
spoopendyke. "What makes sou
stick your arms out like andironsY'
be demanded. "You look as il you
we're trying to keep of a dog"
"Anyhow, that's the way they
do t,"argued Mrs. spoopendyke, a
triflo abashed. "Then, when they
get the letters telling them that
their uncle has speculated away all
their property they do like this
aud Mrs. spoOpendyke threw hel
hand to her forehead, staggered
back, aud caught hold Of a chair.
(which does like that, the uncle
or the property" asked Mr.. spOo
pendyke, Cyeing the performance
with high distayor. "Itlookssome.
lh;ng lika tha nrona.tv u, thn Il