davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

"THE battle is not always TO the
strong" said the judge, as he awarded
the bntter premium at a county fair.-d.
Pau, Herald.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

MANY people who are as ''true ms steel''
are unfortunately just as cold.-PhilddeL-
phiG Call
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

AN exchange speaks of "mineral wool"
Let's see. That's the kind they shear
from hydraulic rams, Isn't it!-ChicGgO
Journal.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

WHEN feeling the pulse of the people the
beats should not be overlooked--OI CITY
Blizzard.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

COMING home at two a. M, he found his
wife dressed in deep black, and inquired
the reason. Mourning for my late hus-
land" she replied.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

SHE-What a man you are to come 10 .
decision. Dol's you know your own
mind? Ee-No, dear. dou's believe l do:
not even by sight-Bos.0R Transcript
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

Why is successful poultry man like a
carriage builder: Because he makes q
coop-pay.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

WHAT is the difference between a paper
dollar and dollar of silver? Never minel.
Boston Transcript.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08
ashoot Polly rs She Flies"

-POp.
wcs the way it appeared in the proof-slip.
The argus-eyed proof-reader, however,
knew the quotation intended and changed
it to read: "Shoot Folly as she f1ies."-
Pope. OF course it was an error, yet how
many are daily committing much graver
errors by allowing the firs5 symptoms of
consumption to 90 UNDECIDED If afflicted
with loss of appetite, chilly sensations, or
hacking cough, it is suicidal to delay a
single moment the use of Dr.. Pisrce's
"Golden Medical Discovery" the great
and only reliable remedy yet known for
this terribly fatal malady. Send two let
ter stamps for DR.. Pierce's complete treat
Use on this disease. Address Worlds Dis
pensary Medical Association, Buffalo, NY
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

4 BAR is place where water is scarce
and danger near.-N. l. Independent.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

SHOULD an umbrella be called a polyg-
amist because it has plurality OF ribs:-
81. Paul Herald.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

WAITER-"Will you have salt with your
eggs:" Guest-"No, thanks; they amt
OF all fresh. "-SGm-
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

MADAME MoDJEsKA has turned trans
lator and will Polish up Shakespeare
Boston Post.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

NATURAL HISTORY: Ii the swallow had
no throat there would be no swallow.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

PIXIES TOOTHACHED DROPS cure IN minute, &c
GIcRn'S Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. &c
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Germs Bun ions
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

Prof. Trilobite (eloquently): Eyes; all
things came by chance, and the great
globe ITSELF like a mushroom, sprang up
in the night" Little Bessie Brighteye:
u should like to know, please, sir, where
the seed came from"
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

WHAT the inebriate sees may verv often
he described as circular saw--YORkerS
Gdzette.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08
Latest Market Reports

KANSAS CITY Oct. 3-The following are
the latest gu rotations autographed from Chi
cago New York and St Louis:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08
Men Think

they know all about Mustang Lin
inent. Few do. Not to know IS
not to have.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1885-10-08

Principal ONCE. So Main St.. LOUISVILLE. KY.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
Railroad Gauges.

Before next June all the Southern
railways of magnitude will havechang-
ed their guage to correspond with
that OF the northern standard. We
shall then have but one standard fol
the whole country, SO far as the great
systems are concerned, and cars can
traverse the vast domain OF the Union
from one remote point to another
without change or breaking Of bulk
OF course the narrow guages will re-
main, but the, are at present incon'
siderable in number, whatever they
may be in the future. For many
months all the car purchases Of the
coast line south of Wilmington, N. O..
have been with this idea in view, and
we know that Maj. Wilkins has already
accumulated a large amount of in
formation on this subject, looking tc
the inevitable transformation on the
Georgia Railway and its branches
When railway company has made
all necessary preparations for this
change it is effected with wonderful
rapidity, In single day hundred O
miles Of track are adjusted. The
expense is large at first, but the ad-
vantages ensuing rapidly make up fol
all extra outlay.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
Vanity Of Vanities.

A few years ago society OF emf
nent men in Paris discussed the ques-
ton, "What language would child
naturally speak if never taught?"
The devout Catholics were of the opin-
ion that the Hebrew language would
be spoken in these circumstances.
One scientist was Of the opinion
that some form of the Chinese Ian
guage would be the natural tongue.
Twenty different results were predict
ed. At last it was decided to test the
the matter; and committee was ap.
pointed to carry out the experiment.
Two infants were procured and put in
the charge Of q deaf and dumb woman
who lived in the Alps and made liv-
ing by rearing chickens and tending
sheep.
The woman was given strict injunc-
tions to allow no one to speak 10 these
Children, and as her cottage was some
miles distance from any neighbor, the
circumstances surrounding the expert
ment were favorable, +.
Years rolled on and many of the
members of the society had lost sight
OF this interesting experiment. Some
members OF the committee died, and
there was great danger of the results
OF this wonderful test being lost to the
world. Fortunately two of the mem
bers Of the committee kept faithful
watch on the case, and when the chill
dren were six years old hlYgoAght them
with their NNrses into a meeting of tht
@sayants.@ 2 Every member was on tht
tiptoe Of expectation as to the result
Not one word could either of the chill
drew Nttert their only form Of Ian
guage was a wonderfully good imita
ton Of the growing of a cock, Of tn,
eaekling OF hen or the bleating of
sheep. The predictions Of seiene,
were totally upset by a practical ex
pertinent.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
A Dog Fhat could Understand.

A shepherd once, to prove the
quickness CT his dog, who was lying
before the fire in the house where we
talking, said to me in the middle of a
sentence concerning something else,
Il am thinking sir, the COW is in the
potatoes. Though he purpoely laid
no stess on these words and sal d
them in quiet anoonoerned tone of
voice, the dog who appeared to be
asleep, immediately jumped up and
leaping through an open window,
scrambled up the turf roof Of the house
from which he could see the potato
field. He then (not seeing the COW
there) ran and looked into the farm
yard, where she was, and, finding that
all was right, came back to the house.
After short time the shepherd said
the same words again and the dog 70,
peated the outlook, but on the false
alarm being third time given the
dog got up and, wagging his tail, look.
ed his master iA the facewith so conf
cal an expression Of interrogation that
he could not help laughing at him
On which, with slight growl, he laid
himself down in his warm corner with
an offended air, as If determined neI
to be made fool Of again.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
The Ups and Downs Of the Bang.

The bang must 60 On first thought
there does not appear to be anything
that will save it The women with
low foreheads who cannot wear bangs
themselves have banded themselves
together and forced an unwilling
fashion journal TO issue the decree.
They are tired of seeing their sisters
flaunt in their very faces the evil
dences of their more noble brows, and
so the bang is to be ostracized, and at
once. What is to take its place no
one knows exactly, not even the icon
olasts themselves, but that it will be
neither graceful Marguerite nor gem
tie wave there is the best Of reason
to believe.
On second thought, however, it is
barely possible that the bang may
not go. A year or two ago just such q
crusade as the present one was begun,
with just the same flourish of trum-
pets The low-browed bellies who
didn't look we'll in bangs and who
simply abominated any woman that
did, thundered their wrath against
the inoffensive bang. For weeks the
contest ragged with unabated violence,
The church joined issue against the
waving masses of hair and priest
condemned them from the pulpit.
But still the bang didn't go. 1t stay
ed and stayed when the war fires
were at their fercest and it danced
even more saucily before admiring
mems eyes when the dying embers OF
war flickered and went out.
1t is not unlikely that this will be
the case again. 1t is very rash
thing to do, very foolish thing, no
doubt, but there are always a few wo-
man who rashly defy the fashions
and the fashion papers. Deep down
in their hearts they entertain the her
etical idea that woman should wear
what becomes her best, and though
styles fiuctuate and tumble these
dreadful women dress themselves oi
their hair in the way that is most be
coming. Other women justly laugh
at them and their old-fashioned ap
pearance, but it doesn't seem to wor
ry them as it should, and it has some
times been suspected that the shadow
of smile lurked around the corners
of their sweet little mouths as though
they even gloried in the depths t.
: which they had fallen.
So it is not unlikely that the bans
will linger with us little while long
er. The women who think for them
selves in matters of fashion are no
very numerous, hut what they lack il
numbers they make up III determine
; ton. The progress which we ar,
, making in all directions indicate,
! that by and by even these few reck
| less spirits will have surrendered ant
: then there will be no hope for tn,
bang. But at least for the time it is il
no immediate danger, and that ough
to console the timid women who wan
to keep their bangs but are afraid t,
! unless some one else does.-Philadel
phia Times.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
Esy the Changing Sea.

We stood on the beach in the morning fair
Her rossy checks the fresh sea air
Kissed, while the laughing waves caressed
The sands her dainty feet had pressed,
In eyes of blue the watching sky
Saw mirrored its deep purity.
My heart was filed with loves wild pain,
And the old, old story was told again.
stood in the night. The sea moaned loud,
The moon was hid in silyery shroud
The waves rolled back with a mocking roar,
The night wind turned and blew from tn
shore
Nor she was not there, she loved not me,
And what was to the wind and sea?
Alas, for the heart alas for its pain!
Alas for the love that was told in vainl
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
A Remarkable Career.

Gotham has always been wonder
ful place for ups and downs, but l
doubt if it has produced anything
more remarkable in this way than is
seen in the career of ed" Stokes, or,
as an increasing number Of people
call him, Mr.. Stokes. His election
the other day as president of the United
Lines Telegraph Company marks an
advance in a few years that may well
excite surprise, Previous to the Jim
Fisk episode the public in general
knew nothing about Mr.. Stokes.
What it learned then was that he be-
longed to a respectable family, but
had been little wild. Fisk crossed
his path for woman, bounded him a
good deal, and it is said, threatened
his life. Then came the shooting in
the Grand Central Hotel, followed by
Stokes long imprisonment in the
Tombs and the still longer oneat Sing
Sing. That was supposed to be the
end of him. Certainly no one imag-
ined that ED" Stokes would ever be
a man Of note in the community,
with so dark cloud hanging over
him. He served his term at Sing
Sing and soon after his release he
went to California.
Very little was heard of him fol
some time. Only his personal friends
knew how he was employed there
No one had any thought that, having
been down so low, he would ever rise
again. But the stuff that makes mer
rise was in him. After awhile New
Workers heard that a magnificent bar
most elaborate and costly in the city
had been opened in the Hoffman
House, with Ed Stokes as proprietor
and they went in thousands to see it
1t certainly worth seeing, the pictures
and statues alone representing small
fortune. The bar aourished, and af
ter another while it became knowr
that the Hoffman House itself wal
owned by Stokes. Its business grew
rapidly and Stokes made money fast
He also made the acquaintance of {
number OF Wall street men, for hi
bar became their favorite uptown re
sort. Gradually his footing among
the Wall street men became firm ant
they, on the other hand, gradually
recognized in him an uncommonly
able business man. He went int
Wall street himself and made som,
pretty good turns. And now b,
comes to the front as president Of |
telegraph organization that promise
to give the overgrown Western Unioi
Company hard push Some OF th,
strongest financial men in New Yorl
are at his back and evidently hav,
confidence in him. The rise of EC
Stokes since his dreary days at Sin,
Sing is very remarkable indeed.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
Legal E.ore,

Kcsciusko Murphy recently passed
his examination, and is now . mem.
Der oil the Austin bar. His strong
card is in getting the truth out ef wit
ness. The following is q sample Of
his system Of crossexan1ination -
"Are you married manf"
"No, sir; I sm bachelor"
"Win yeu please ten this court and and
jury how long you have been bach
elor, and what were the circumstaces
| :.assst induced You 70 become oHeq9
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
Neat Women.

Awoman may be handsome or re-
narkably attractive in various ways
but if she is not personally neat she
cannot hope to win admiration. Fine
clothes will not conceal the slattern.
A young woman with her hair always
in disorder and her clothes hanging
about her as if suspended froma prop
is always repulsive. Slattern is writ
ten on her person from the crown OF
her head to the soles OF feet, and il
she wins a husband he Will turn out
in all probability either an idle fool or
u drunken rnffian. The bringing up
OF daughters to be able to work, talk
and act like honest sensible young
women, is the special task of mothers
and in the industrial ranks there is
imposed also the prime obligation Of
learning to respect household work for
its own sake, and the comfort and
happiness it will bring in the future.
Housework is drudgery, but it must
be done by somebody, and had better
be well than i'll done,
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
VOL. IL.
The CooIs,s Comrtsllip.

"Oh, Sally Bum, cried johnny Cake,
A pudding on his hat.
Beef fore rice starch youll let meat take
A kiss to oud our spat.'
"No, Jack won't" "good-pie, sweet tart,
He gromed, YOU'RE Cruel to me-
Then looking gravy said, "Veal part
And Charlotte Russo Ill see.
POT cheese so ugly Sally blushed,
And, Jack, she's got red hare,
] ham hash shamed," cried Sally crushed
"she'll slOpjack-don't go there"
IA mangocs whore he wishes, Miss!
Adieul sweet SGlad-dleuW
Jack, doughnut go-please steak kiss
Oh, dear, you forcemeat to-
"Oil lettuce Mocha pie puff pease,'
Cried Jack, egg-sauce-ted pie
His kiss soup herb; and then the geese
Set down to laugh and cry,
"Tll make an oyster fry-ten ma,
Said Sally, "If ice cream
This sandwich you are squeezing-ahN
TIE END Now let them dream.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
The Girls Had N Picnic.

Some time ago the cynical old bach
elors who infest the village Of White
Plains, New York, organized an asso-
citation which they called the Bache-
lor's Club, in order that they might
more effectually resist feminine en-
croachmeIts. Aware OF the fact that
women, like vice, if once endured will
soon be pitied and then embraced,
and desiring not to prove recreant to
their bachelor faith, they not only
distinctly forbade the presence of
women at any of their meetings but
exiled every product of feminine
hands from the club rooms. The
merry maidens OF that sleepy village
laughed at these ridiculous arrange
ments and prophesied the speedy
death of the organization. But time
passed, the old bachelors still stood
solidly against their common enemy
and the club tlourished in spite OF
feminine wrath. Then, because they
didn't know what else to do, the
young ladies organized club OF their
own, and to show the hateful old
bachelors Of just what little real con-
sequence they were the young ladies
gave picnic Of their own, to which
not man was invited.
OF course the picnic was a failure
II such things must be, home can
get along without a mother or a wom-
an can refrain from saying az told
you so"-when there isn't anybody
to say it to-but a fourteen-girl picnic
without any men is a failure from the
start. The girls tried swinging to-
gether in hammocks, but the ham
mocks weren't swung right by the
twelve-year-old boy who drove theil
team, and they tumbIed out and roll.
ed ignominiously down the sward
They tried holding each others hands
but the right sensation wasn't there
The built their own fire and carried
their own water and protested all the
while that they didn't miss the hor
rid, hideous men one bit, and the,
proved it by secretly wishing them
selves miles and miles away. In theil
desperation they tried kissing each
other. But whoever heard of girl
with level heads who liked to kiss eacl
other.
i When the millennium comes alon,
the White Plains girls are going t
have another picnic. But in th,
meantime they are hoping that
marriage epidemic will visit thei
borough and that the members o
both clubs will be among the earlies
victims. The tree in the groves ma,
intertwine their graceful arms and tn
, shadows chase each other acros
the fields and into the glens, bu
there will be no more manless pic
MICS; and after awhile, when the il
, feeling has all been buried and th
girls have broken up the Bachelor
! Club by showing the bachelors hoy
sensible and loving they can be whel
they try, there will be any number O
: lests and smiles at the monumental
stupidity of both maidens and man.
Philadelphia Times.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27

The most popular institution of
Brighton is the Royal aquarium. the
most perfect thing of its kind in Eu-
rope, The establishment has been
literally dug and blocked out Of the
rocks. 1t is under ground. The.vast
galleries, concert-rooms, restaurants
and long corridors Of tanks are all
more or less excavations. The entrance
hall is S0x45 feet and the longest cor
ridor in the building is 220 broken in
the center BY a vestibNle 5Sz45 feet
The tanks aR gangea Pr both sides,
aud are spacious aud full. One of the
tanks-is 419z4Q feet qpd contains no..
900 gallons of water On the top ol
the aqpaEiAm theFe are handsome ter
race gardens, with balconies overlook.
ing skating vink and wide stretch
of open sea.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
The Advantage Of Being Blonde.

Every year we get the cry from
fashionable writer's "blondes are no
longer in style; they have been SUI
persedsd by their darker sisters" etc.
Now, that's all bosh, You can't do
away with the frizzled-hanged hair.
Pre-eminently the blonde is the beau
ty of civilization. She Is among Us to
stay ~ such and you can't drive her
away. A brunette now and then may
rise supreme over her by reason OF
her wonderful loyeliness, and I'm
speaking collectively, A woman can
dress more effectively with blonde
hair than with dark, 1t lights up
better and is more youthful. A we'll
kept blonde has ten years advantage
in point OF youthful looks with the
average brunette Mind you, once in
a lifetime or so there arises a miyacu-
lous brunette who eolNpletely siirpass-
es her, but for stead Ygoing, ordinary
GOOD looks that makes no pretensions
81 great beauty she carries the palm.
You can't expunge her in iaYpF Of the
brunette even IN literature. In the
RoYels lHrned Qlt lpFing the past
year thpFe have been 3Ta blondes to
each leo bEnnettes,
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27

Miss Bessie-Tell me, auntie, am
% or 26 tosdayG II is funny enough,
but ! mover can remember.
Auntie-Why, Bessie, you ought
not forget when you were born--you
are 26.
Uncle Joe (who is little deai)-
Bessie born in 26l Why, Jane, YOU
are crazy she wasn't born till 80; she
is only 50. -
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27

"Ah Miss, | have not the pleasure
OF your acquaintance
"My name is Jones. I'm eompo
ser"
"a composer"
"Yes-a child's aagSe
sRe tiEtNoas and you'll be happy !
sbpt good heavens how lonely you'll be
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27

aFine wood carvings, half price, "
cried Pat, as he stood in his stall cry
ing his wares the other day, "Weli
Pat. what's the other haif?'. asked
Maggles, who was standing ON the
corner eWhy, faith, and it's wood,
yer honor said Pat, as he felt for the
change.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27

The clock had Just ceased striking
the honf Of noon I was brushing my
hair before the mirror, when suddenly
--suddenly my arm fell at my side,
my heart stood still for . second
In the mlrfor I! seemed to see the
biondless face Of y ghost, who stood
behind me, And the face was alg0
that OF Adele.
With 4 gasp ! turned swiftly to face
tho apparition. Was it then no spirit
but Adele herself9 She spoke Ia me
/ In q steady voice, but her face was
ashen as ooipses and she held out
to me a letter.
"Read that, she said, and she stood
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1885-08-27
Oxex! Oxez.

They all meat there-at the butch.
er's shop.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1885-07-10
THE FOURTH ALL AROUND.

The 10th anniversary of American In,
dependence has come and gone, and the
several celebrations in this immediate
vicinity were all well attended, and ap.
parently, well enjoyed.
AT MAPLEToN.
A local demonstration was devised and
carried out in strict accordance with the
programme. The morning was little
unpleasant Oh account of the mud, caus-
ed by the previous nights rain, but by
the time the hour for opening the days
amusements had arrived, the ground
was nearly dry, and the vast crowd gath
cred IN stevens grove to listen To music
and eloqucnce for about two hours. ].
T.. Brown was presiding officer, and w.
n. Plymat marshal of the day. The
Delevan brass band was ON the ground.
and the Mapleton glee club assembled
also 10 aid in the exercises Besides
these the Napoleon martial band assisted
in furnishing music for the occasion.
After the reading Of the Declaration of
Independence by Hon. VIM. Webb, of
Sterling, divine blessing was invoked.
Rev. L. X. Quayle was introduced as the
first speaker. Mr.. Quayle is a young
Englishman, who has been i'm America
but two years, and he manifested re-
markable knowledge of the United States
and her history in this speech. His
theme was the history and character of
the Puritan sect, and their subsequent
founding of our nation. lie arguedthat
no better and safer nucleus for the pro-
pagatiOn of government such as ours
has proved TO be, could have been found
than the Puritans, for they were GER
tainly the best people England ever sent
out, and, he believes, the best i'm the
werld. The eccentricities which they
are made historically noted for, he be-
lieves TO be overdrawn, hence while
these must not be entirely excused we
must modify our opinion of them. Al
though the seventies resulting from their
eccentric beliefs were harsh, they cover