National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1885-04-11

men made the political family Of Lincoln at
times pretty hot, aud gave old Abe great
deal of trouble. lftradition is to be believed
he was greatly relieved when the Secretary Of
the Treasury accepted the position OF chief
justice on the Supreme Bench.
You have fortunately escaped appointing
very large amount of Presidential timber In
your cabinet, but 1t is thought by some OF your
friends that II would be the part OF wisdom
for you TO gently whisper in the ear OF the
president Of the State Department the words
Of Shakespeare: "Bayard, I.charge.thee, fling
away ambition. BY that sin fell the angela
You have had good deal OF trouble to meet
the expectations of the Democratic hosts that
have visited the capital. The effects upon the
country and the crops are somewhat singular.
The statistics Of the department OF agriculture
will show that there has been less acreage
sown to wheat than last year. and from APP
pearances at tho hotels of the city and the
prevalence OF Dakota men indications are
that that territory will only have half crop
The best advice that could be given would be
for you to issue proclamation that no more
offices will be filed until amer harvest. This
will give the plain people All even chance, es-
pecally as the presidential aspirant in your
cabinet has mad his quota filled.
Speaking OF appointments brings to mind
Gen. Lawton, or Georgia. The great masses Of
Republicans and the people generally do not
consider him eligible to the office to which ho
was appointed until Congress by q two-thirds
vote relieves him OF his disabilities as re-
quircd by tho fourteenth amendment 10 the
constitution.
A simple illustration Of the point would be
that to-day n citizen OF the United States is
Toll q, ~ Ifut
ofage. Suppose there should be an amend.
mont to tho constitution making the eligible
ago 80 years Amor its adoption, because u
person was onco senator at 80, you could
not ignore the amendment which requires
that his age should be so. There is nothing
in the interest OF the nation that
requires you to strain or give forced con
structlon or violate the constitution, simply to
appoint Gen. LRwton TO Office TO please the
Secretary OF State. Your inaugural address,
Mr.. President, contains the following words,
which have been more universally quoted and
commended rs true Democratic policy by
your party friends than any other sentence In
1t, viz: "ln the discharge OF my official duty
shall cndeayor to DO guided by a Just aud
uNSrRAlNED construction of the constitution"
Leaving grave subjects and turning to cur
rent amusements 1t Is worth suggesting TO you,
Mr.. President, that people here wonderg greatly
as TO whom you mean to appoint marshal of
! the District. II Is assumed that the present
elegant and accomplished incumbent is to be
neatly docapitated presently, and some Demo-
crat all fat IN the minutlao OF social ceremo-
malls appointed to his place The appointec,
| II Is agreed, should be amiable witty, hand
some, patient, polite self-possessed, ready on
all occasions, tripper of the light fantastic,
and In short very social Adonis. The Dis
trict, Mr.. President is vastly interested in you
In more ways than one. Tho gruesome report
that you had sent u Virginia shoemaker so for a
pair of boots spread CONSERVATION abroad for
a while among the disciples OF 81. Crlspin all
through the District, but the story having been
officially denied by Col. Lamont peace now
reigns among the makers of pedal covering.
In behalf of the local tradesmon II is worth
while to say to you that they one and all
stand ready TO demonstrate TO you that 1t will
neyer-be necessary for you TO go to Baltimore
for anything you may need during your term
of office. You will find them always carrying
full stocks, polite energetic, and especially
ingenious, One OF your predecessors engaged
a pair of trousers from one of our local
tailors. They were delivered ut the time
agreed. The distinguished purchaser drew
them over his manly limbs, and after criti
cal examination said, "Mr. Scissors, | think
they are about quarter of an inch too long"
"Mr. President" said the diplomatic tailor
''you are undoubtedly right" and straightway
he carried them back to his shop, only to re
turn them the next day without changing
them in any way whatever. The President
was profoundly pleased with the new set o.
the trousers, and the ingenious tailor is ready
TO serve you equally well to-day.
Bidd!Hg you adieu for week,
NATIONAL REPUBLICAN.