The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1885-07-21
Seuse and Mopse,ase.

A family cri-cis-a girl baby.
A popular holiday-4:h of July.
Smoking makes small boys and mos
quiloes sick.
Weeds are generally the earliest risers
in garden bed
Take care of the poor Indians and the
poor Indian will take hair OF you.
The man who first asked us life
worth living ?" died owing 1887 in doc
tors bills.
II it be true that the leopard cannot
change his spots, he should never buck
the tiger.
What is the difference between hun
Igry man and elutton Zone siong to
eat, aud the other eats loo long
There is one thing in this world
wherein men and flies are equally silly.
They both yield to the attractive power
Of lasses.
Suppose q man marries his irst wife's
stepsster's aunt, what relation is he to
her4 Do you give it up3 He's her
husband Z"
Some one wants to know what is more
disagreeable than "woman with q cry
ing baby2" The answer to this is s'the
baEy."
Another murderer has confessed that
he killed man a year ago, thereby de-
sroying the clew which the detective
was working upon.
A Liveroool woman, to relieve her
husband, who was charged With cutting
off the end of her nose, swore that she
bit ii of herself.
A Western lecturer is speaking on
"SiIent Women" That is q shorter
title than "Deaf and Dumb Asylums for
Females" but it means the same thing.
The motto Of the Audubon County
Iowa. Sentinel is "Fear God, tell the
truth and make money" 1t is only in
the newspaper business that this combi.
nation can be made.
cat what age is an unmarried man q
bachelor ?" asks subscriber. When
he can take pretty widow for moon
light walk and not ask Der to marry him
before returning home.
| During game between the Yorkville
and the Melrose baseball clubs, the other
day, the cry OF baby was heard in the
midst Of a lull. The umpire raised q
laugh by singing out tone bawl."
A little girl whose father was q mer-
chant tailor, said to her mother, "Moth-
er, ] can always tell when pa makes q
misfit, because he always gives you and
me fits when be comes home"
"There are some things as old as the
bills, anyhow" said Uncle Reuben.
"What are they ?" asked his niece "They
are the valleys between 'em, child" SOL
emily answered the old man.
i The subscription to General Grants
hook has already reached 400. 900 names.
Orders for copies of Miss Cleveland's are
also pouring in rapidly. American au-
thors of the present day are popular at
anv rate
| On the "Glorious Fourth" the snow
capped summit OF Mount Hood, it, Ore
gon. which towers $4,000 feet high, was
Illuminated by red calcium lights, which
could be seen nearly all over the State
OF Oregon.
A fashionable young lady vas seen
blacking her brothers boots the other
morning, and the next da, she helped 10
do the family washing. 1t is thought
that she is fitting herself to become the
wife of an Italian count.
There has been vast improvement iu
ladies' headgear during the past decade
o, two. Twenty years ago, when 9
woman Inadvertently got her bonnet on
''hind part before" man could rapidly
detect the error. He cant now.
Paragraphs are floating about to the
effect that diseases are frequently CON-
municated by kissing We supposed
every one knew that the most dangerous
and swift Of all diseases was communi.
Gated in that way-heart disease.
When Colonel Kennedy went to Hack
ensack, N j isil for ten days for con-
tempt of court, be asked the jsiler :
"What are those long thick bars for p
"Tbose," said the jaler, "are to keep
the mosquitoes from the boarders."
The first wheat of the new crop, A
bushels, was sold on Change in Balt.
more Wednesday, at two dollars bush-
el. 1t was grown in Lancaster county,
Va. Another lot inferior, grown in
Middlesex county, Va. sold at Sl.50 per
bushel
"Smith, whv don't you get your dia-
monds insured ?" said JONES'" "Where
can do that ?" innocenty asked Smith.
"At the United States Plate Glass Insur
ance Company, of course" and cool
ness has grown up between them.
"why have they put you in Jail again P
asked an Austin philanthropist of jim
Webster, who was playing checkers with
his nose on the grated window. "Re-
cause had the lut K to lind Colonel Yer.
gers watch" "Thal's no crime, to find
a watch" "Yes, hut you zee, boss,
dun found it before he lost it."
The proprietor Of menagerie relstes
that one Of his lions once had . thorn
taken out of his paw by French Major
in Algeria. The lion atterwsrds ran
over the list of Officers belonging to the
regiment of his beneisctors, and ont OF
gratitude devoured both the Colonel and
the Lieutenant. Colonel, whose places
we're then filed by the good Major.
Says the Circleville Democrat: Gen
Kennedy, the Republican second fiddler,
in recent speech before the Lincoln
Club, of Cincinnati, was telling what The
G. .. p. bad done. He said the Repub-
lican was "the party which sent the im-
mortal Garfield to the sea, there to
breathe his last" Yes, Bob, Gulteau
was Republican.
A farmer proposes the following
novel plan for catching moles: Take two
old COW horns and place them point to
point, turning the hollows outward in
the track of the mole, and then replace
the earth over them. The mole will
come alcpg soon AMI crawl into the horn
just as far as be can 60, and remain there,
trying to get through. as he can not turn