davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10
ALL HASH TO HIM.
An Ingenious Westerner Who Believed In
Calling Things by Their Right Names.

An Ingenious Westerner Who Believed In
Calling Things by Their Right Names.
The daughter of Boston merchant
of great wealth, wide mercantile con-
nections and boundless hospitality was
lately married. The Western agent of
the merchant happened to be in town,
and, as the proud father was inviting
about everybody to his daughters we'd
ding, he invited the Westerner, too.
The Westerner came. He was uneasy,
and shifted about from place to place
in the house as if he were hunting for
spots that fitted him better than those
he had been in. He put his hands non-
chalantlY on things and took them off
again suddenly, as if he found them hot,
and grinned familiarly at people he had
never seen before, and then suddenly
drew his features back with ghastly
solemnity. 1t seemed to be an occasion
of great and overwhelming novelty to
him.
When the refreshments came around
he was inclined to fight shy of pretty
nearly everything. 1t was as if he pro-
posed to take on little Boston form
ality, now that he was in Boston, and
require an introduction to every dish.
His host saw that he wasn't eating
much, and came around to see about it.
why. you aren't eating anything,
Mr.. West, said he. Cant help you
to something's"
mo, thank you," said the West
ksT -. - I. IL
reckon I've eat enough. "
Just then waiter came along with
some croquettes.
''Mr. West, take one of these GRO
quettes; think you'll like them; take
one, take one'
The Westerner took one. He punched
it with his fork, laid it open a bit, and
examined it critically. Then he tasted
it and exclaimed:
''Goshi !'.-Boston Record.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The man who went to the country
for ''rest and change" says the walters
got most of his change and the landlord
the rest.-BoSton Commercial Bssiletin.
1T is always safe to talk about the
weather. II ones conversation can not
be logical, the next best, of course, is
for it to be meteorological. Boston
Transcript.
AN exchange says that a folded
newspaper placed under the coat in the
small of the back is an excellent substi-
tute for an aovereoat. Now is the time
to subscribe. -EUGnsUilIe ArgUs.
No, Minerva; we are not hankering
for society notes with very large
sized hank. Plain everyday bank
notes are rich enough for our blood
The Ratchet.
Minnesota taxes dogs at their APP
praised value, and the $4,000 in the
State foot up $4,000. The lowest
figure for any canine is ninety-two
cents.
10, do not take from me tho
past, walls the poet. Rest easy, son.
nobody wants your past-each has his
share of that commodity. What we
want is O mortgage on the future, q
good fat one and fully secured. - PbiLG-
delphiG Call.
behold how great matter little
fire kindlethr' The telegraphic report
that .sthe Puritan hugged the Genesta
all the way down the bay to the whist
ling buoy" is said TO have led to three
matrimonial engagements in q Western
town Springfield Union.
Who came out aheadP Mrs. Smith
was reading in paper. scientists say
the way to sleep is to think Of nothing,
when Smith broke in: II should say
that you would sleep all the time, my
DEAR mo doubt" Mrs. Smith re-
sponded. 'for think good deal of
you. boston Budget.
1T is no use to talk to man about
the beauties of the ever-sounding sea
and the ioyousness of its silvery sands
when be has Just come back from a sea-
| side hotel where he has had TO sleep on
q shelf in clothes-closet and had TO
keep tack hammer under his pillow
to Kill the bugs with.-FGH Ricer Her
aid.
"A young housekeeper asks the
Norristown Herald how to keep the
juice of pies from soaking into the
under crusts. To which the editor re-
plies: Our culinary education is ex-
trenely limited, but we should think
that lining the under crust with sheet
iron would nicely overcome the diff
GUILTY.
The faithful pump-handle:
How dear to his heart was the pump In the
back yard
Where the milk he'd diluted until it looked
blue,
the handle. the spout, and the pals that th'
blackguard
With the chalky white mixture the pot
toms did strew.
o. the old wooden handle,
The iron n-bound handle,
The worm eaten handle.
That stood in the yard
Boston BHdGet,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10
PECULIAR WOODS.
A Block Whose Woody Fiber Forms Per-
feet Maltese Cross.

a DAOOA HAoSo w OOuy HlDSE 1OrnAS - EcE~
feet Maltese Cross.
Il have the 'dead-wood' on you," re-
marked Prof. Rothrock in response to
the applause which greeted him as be
appeared in the lecture-room at Horti,
cultural Hall, Fairmount Park, Satur.
day afternoon. In his arms he carried
a number of chunks of peculiar
woods to better illustrate his lecture.
His subject was Peculiar Woods"
The lecturer explained that peculiar
exogenous woods were those that diff
fered in important particulars from the
normal or average growth. He classi-
lied them as peculiar in color, weight
and manner of development. He
showed several specimens having pecul-
iarities of color. There are no less
than sixteen plants grown in the United
States that are peculiar, because they
are of greater weight than water and
will therefore sink when placed in it.
These heavy woods grow in the South
ern States. in the damp atmosphere OF
the country adjacent to the Gulf OF
Mexico, and also in the dry climate of
Arizona and New Mexico. Their pecul-
iarity is due evidently to heat more
than to any other one agent He next
exhibited number of specimens of
peculiar growth, showing with the aid
of the blackboard that they had not
grown as trees usually do, with perfect
medullary and cambium formations.
Sometimes, instead of the regular rings
formed at the ends of the several years
growth. they have bark soundings, be-
coming, as it were, trees within trees.
The professor showed one block in
which the woody fiber had formed a
perfect Maltese cross, another a check
er-board surface, and several others
nearly as remarkable Philadelphia
Times.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10
A GARFIELD STATUE.
The Latest Addition to the Statuary Hall
of the Capitol.

OF the capitol.
Statuary Hall, in the Capitol at WASH
ington, the old House of Represents.
tives, is becoming even now crowded.
Within the last ten years space has
been given here to various States that
wish 10 place in the Capitol statues rep
resentlng their leading men who have
acquired National fame. The last edi-
ton to the collection is a statue of Gen.
eral Garfield, presented by the State of
Ohio. This is the work of Niehaus, a
Cincinnati sculptor. who has been edu-
Gated abroad, and whose talent deserved
the task assigned him. The Garfield
statue is one of the best of the modern
additions. 1t represents Garfeld's
figure as it really was There is no at
tempt to idealze him in any way. He
is standing in an easy pose, with his
head in the position of man about to
address an audience. The weight of
the body rests upon the right leg. The
dress of the figure is a baggy frock
suit The numerous wrinkles and
curves in the suit give lines of ease and
take away very much from the stiff ap-
pearance of the ordinary attempts to
render the modern dress in marble.
This figure, if it lacks anything, is in
the head. This seems to not have Gar
fields character, although the likeness
is fairly good.-St. LOUIS Post
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10
HOW 1T IS DONE.
Working Up to the Point of Affectlonat
Intimacy.


Working Up to the Point of Afsctionate
Intimacy.
Did you ever listen to young couple
working up to that point Of affectionate
intimacy at which they call one another
by their Christian names?
"It has been a lovely party, hasn't it,
Miss Jackson?''
Lovely. Mr.. Wilkins
Il have known you long time, Miss
Jackson"
"And / have known you quite awhile
''I'Ve often heard my sister speak of
you"
"And my brother is always talking
about you"
SIS he? hear so much about you
that feel quite at home with you.'
Its q lovely night, isn't it, Mr..
Wilkins?''
Beautiful. think Edith's such q
pretty name"
''Do youp I don't like it.
Edith"
"What did you say"
30, nothing; / was merely repeating
the name"
II don't like all mems names. like
some. l like Phillip and Ferdinand,
and-n
What do you think Of GeorgeP'
''That's your name. George
Il beg your pardon"
80, nothing; l was only repeating
the name.'
What lovely night it is, isn't it,
Miss Edith
20. there! George Wilkins, what did
you let me slip on that cobble for?''
g Pom my word. l didn't do it, Miss
Edith"
'.Well. we are home, or I am, Mr.
George
Il am very sorry"
$50 am |. I'm so much obliged for
your escort; I've had such lovely
time
'.And so have TT
''Good night, Mr.. Wilkins
Good night, Miss Jackson"
Good night. -
Good night. !"
Good night-Edith
Good night-G George. San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
AN Albino child, living near Eustis,
Fla, named Jimmie, is thus descr. bed:
His skin is a pure milky white. and his
hair of similar shade; the features
are all strictly African with one ex-
ception. His eyes are as pink as those
of white rabbit, and have that pecul-
lar restless moevment so noticeable in
Albinos. Jimmie is robust, healthy
child, with no weakness excepting that
OF vision. his eyes. when he took his
hat off. appearing to hurt him by con-
tact with the light. His mother states
that he can see much better in the
nlght than day. time. He is about four
years old.
The salary of the United States
Consul at Zanzibar is 800. He ia al
lowed te have o-ler business. Y.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10
THE WINDING OF THE sKEiN.

/ held the skein for her one night.
When the shadowy CLINT of the fire light
Danced f1tfuiy on the opposite wall.
Polly and ]. and that was all,
: Were there TO see the ghostiy ball:
Tongs and scuttle hearthdog and cat,
Venus de Milo and mandarin fat
Table and lamp, and chairs where we sat-
In rhythmic measure went round and round
While Polly's arms as she wound and wound,
Looked like fiddler drawing his bow
Across his fiddle to and fro;
The strings were those Of the skein, you
know
Iheld the skein.
n held the skein. I'd known her long
Aud my heart had learned the same old song
made,
iTrilled in the sunlight or sobbed in the shade.
But my lips were mute, for was afraid
To speak my thoughts So Il held my peace
And borrowed hope, and took new lease
OF friendship | hated yet dreaded might
cease;
For Polly was oddish and queer in her ways,
Her yeas were nays and her nays were yeas
And it often took me days and days
To fnd out IL she was vexed or pleased,
0rff I'd been wounded or only leased;
But her iadyship was this night appeased;
I held the skeiR
held the skein. the last few strands:
And as they escaped, my outstretched hands
Were stretched out further and further still
aYou see the yarn might have dropped), until
'Somehow--well, Polly wasn't ill,
Only little bit tired, she said,
And, perhaps, suspicion of ache in the
head
That nestled close under beard that was
red,
But is auburn now. And she calls me Ned.
And says it was really very i'll bred
TO kiss her and hold her waist instead
OF the skein, and she'll never trust me again.
But she has, for years have flown since fhen
] held the skein.
-0dklGnd Week.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10

"A twelve-year-o Dakota girl,
taken up into the ar by a cyclone, car
ried out of sight and brought easily
down in field a quarter of amile away.
describes her sensation while in transit
as that IF being rapidly and constantly
pricKed by thousands of needles. Since
her experience she has been affected
similar to person with ST Vitus's
dance. CHICAGO Mail.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10

Mr.. Andrew D. White, in his fare.
well address to the faculty and students
of Cornell University, said: This uni
versity is designed to make men and
women of the students coming here.
This country can afford to lose all that
it has yet attained if by SO doing its in
habitants become true. noble, faithful
men and women. The founders of this
university were patriotic men, and it
was for this purpose that they conceived
the idea of bettering the nation. Many
come here thinking that by so doing
they are patronizing the university.
That is mistake. The university pat
ronizes you. ~ z. Tribune.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10

Most of the Mormon missionaries
have been driven out of England and
Germany. Their principal fields of
labor in Europe now are Sweden, Nor
way and Denmark They generally
keep quiet as to the polygamy question
until they arrive with their victims on
this side of the water Detroit Post,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1885-12-10

Prosecuting Attorney to prisoner
What proyocation, Mr.. Smith. had you
for shooting the deceased? Prisoner
He called me Mr. Smith instead of call
ing me Colonel Smith That's why.
During the subsequent proceedings Mr..
Smith was referred to as General Smith.
--1srGs Stttsstgs.
Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1885-10-28
How u Lady Get, Aboard
Irnr. New York wnrlhl

ICor. New York World
Eventually | learn enough rowing to be
able 10 think backwards and 20 gst out Of
scrapes before get into them A new ac-
complement now presents itself TO be
mastered, an tiat is 10 learn how TO start
my own boat from the beach instead Of being
ANONYMOUSLY pushed out or being obIigsi
70 put one loot in the boat anl shove of
with the other, Doing il guide fashion Is a
difficult matter. aud Tor a week 20 me an
unattainahle ambition. Tho way is to nut
one hand on each side OF the boat little
back Of the bow and run the boat into Tn.
water as far as you can send IL forward.
still retaining your hold.
Thi, l. comparatively easy. bit now for
the art, Just as the boat is at arms leugth,
and body's length, too, you must give a
jump from the beach and land on the bow.
boarl-exac,ly upon the middle or over
you go into the water But II you jump
square, and far enough, aud not too far,
you have only another little jump 30 take,
between your own arms, and there you are
in your boat Sometimes you are not there,
though. The first four or i've timss trisl
the boat shot out without me, and landed,
full length face down, In the water. era wi.
lug out under such circumstance has a.
much yupminy as sweetness about H.
Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1885-10-28
Detroit Free Press


They W 70 going 10 whip II man at the
public post at Glendale, Va, and three or
four Of u, rode over from the Malvern Hill
battlefield 10 ses tue operation The culprit
WINS burly, big negro, AMI the audience,
numbsrns about 80, was mostly compossl
Of bllck- When We reacIe the scene the
man was already tr.csl up. They had his
wrists la'hsi {, crpSs-bar on the post, his
deck ant greasy back was bare, aud lie was
trying harI To work his courage up to meet
lis fats like white man,
"tlll dar MOses-dOan' you wish you
hadn't' queried one Of the crowL
"Nigger, y u go long"
"l'll bet he'll squIrn like an eel!'
AN you'll bar him holler a mile away!'
He aI,wsrsi mot of them grufily. but
one could ,ee that he was ,attled" When
the Official finally appeared, strap in hand.
Moses bross down and began TO beg. Not
ons black person IN that whole crowd
seemed b pity him. Inleed, his own wife
pushed into the front rank, her face covered
with a or n, and called out;
81 dun tote ye, ole mani Reckon dey an.
2wine to tirkl' We all Over!'
The official lail Oh the strap AMI counted
cut "n- -tXu--thres so on in a loud
vucs, aud when he had reached thirty nine
old Nos, wa, the worst licked darkey in
Virginia. After tho third blow he yelled
AMI whooped aud prayed and begged. and
his wife AT down on the grounl anu wa sed
her arms around and shouted:
"Jst u har Ell to biml lie bain't got
no mo -rit dan hoy TO vars ole!7
Aitar tue licking one of our party in
qulred Of Moses now he felt
Il feel dat De bad ha, all gone outer me
sab"
And you won't steal againH
"NO, sab. IL YOU should lay millyun
dollars down dar in de road dis chile
wouldn't never tech it, No, sab. He'd
jump lie fence an make a break fur ID
woods
thus viii b. a warning to you.
ayes, sab. From dis time out I amt
Pwine 10 do muffin but git up camp. meet
ms AMI show desc yere niggers de path tn
gloryl'
Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1885-10-28
LIEUT. KaMPsTuHL AT SEVEN OAKS
A True snd rhri.ling Narrative from this
Lips Of u Modest Soldier.
Tp,,rlatta L., n..,.kl...


IBurdette In Brooklyn Ela,
We have eau at great pains 10 secure the
following ace ,unt OF one OF the mo hotly
contsSte battls' OF the rebellion from ons OF
tho Plrt.ri lant Lieut. DI Sit N D.,
krm! stuhi, yunng noblemtl WAC serve
during the war on tbs staff Of Con. De
Re'pararl in tie qlarterml,tsr' dsptr-
Ineut la these day, waen there Is sucl a
dearth II var It rieS a true AMI thrilling
narrative from the lips OF a soldier at once
so eminent and so modest as Lieut. Kamp-
stuhl, will fail upon the land with tue
cheering stimulus Of recitation at an
evening party. Lieut. Eampstuhl says:
81 beard the firing In My front at 5:l0 a.
M, by My watch. and Immediately ordered
My servant TO saddle My horse, which at
once mounted, aud then rode rapidly back
h. My supply tram | orlored My train
into corral, an then a, tho firing became
heavier | or lere it out int the road again.
! led IL back tire, mile, further b. the rear,
where Drdtr.l it again into corral |
craweI cauti u,i uller one of Ny cracker
wagons u Ii,tm Nv mules had not been
fed All / | cnui near thing but their a rise
"lurIrrsI My wngonmarter 10 have My
muls, fSi An orderly cam" isling from
the front, I1aRug Tor Ne. Tue general de.
sired to know where | wa | all To the
orderly. r |. VIA sad |, 'tHft | will noll
My position her, az all bnzlrls. II, may
depend On NJ, The firing m Ny front
gre heavier, anl | ordered Ny tetuIsters
TO lead Ny nudes arOunl TO the hD,tls ,ile
OF My WAGONS NJ suiferngS aul tho Of
My cummln beams intense Nv indies
began chewing My wag n r,yHFS. AT |
thought w.ull ,e3 il ! ChIll not Iivsrt
My muea' mimi by laying iuNu SIZE rad,
for them t. suhw TN
IL hal no lear tor Ny self. Tut sly com
mand was hardly pre- Sc |, a 80 many -trls-
glers cama 10 NJ corral | had scarcely
enough WAGON, for ali of My awu m,n.
Seven men crlwl'l un lsr Ny wagon wnnre
| was. AMI | lrurai II the eugInf s. uull
charge ii. t4rH hat the carlHs' al be
fearful. a va determined t. s..l Ny life
dearly JUS At tn, critical pI.ut ia My
battle, as thought | would huv, to rally
My men AMI lead another advance u the
rear, hsIri lou cheering in My tr mt thu
mu>ketry urinI which | thought hslrl
coming ustrer Me now knew Wa, further
away from Ne.
"lh,arl the cheering coming urhrer, My
men 10 II It up | rrawlel Dus from Ia under
Ny wagon, | tlUk III My hat aui as bowed
IN My cheering man, felt a rloui ii black
ness SURROUND Mo totteral, = soldier
spran to catch Ne lul | Luew ~ more.
Tue battle nf Seven Oaks wa, fought and
won, the react n after the intense train Ut
fourteen hours lighting oysrrans NJ. AMI
as dropped Ny sword FROM Nv n,rvs,s
grasp .aintsI'
Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1885-10-28
a PR'MA DONNA ON The PLAINS
People Who Ride P,ur Hundred Miles
to Attend "a Concert.


Cor. BlsfHn Gn'ettsl
had letter from Miss Clara Louise
Kellogg the other du in which she de
scribed part Of her tour TO me- he is
now Quincy NJ IhroJgn the northwest.
and in all her TIA els in Europe or
America slc uy, She has never had so
inlcre,lin lime, There is nothing very
t. citing or romantic about the ordinary
thriving wcstrrh town. hut the mi mn
towns where Lliss eliugg has been sing
ing of ,air hat given her the u,sl pict.
ureslue cpiS dos Of her prOlesso
career
: he has ia. ,cied all through tie Vel
lowstOne reg on, where she saws she fniIra
to lind the brilliant hues Thomas Moran
gets in his waier,COlors ding through
TINS country she rode Ia stages. ald u,u
ly occupied the seat with the drive.
These drivers she describes rs ver.lnU
characters out Of Apt lIarlcs stores
The were fu Oi anrCdrte, and kept hcf
rntcrlniucd with their adventures aud e.
perrncrs al along the route
At Mammoth hot springs she gave n
Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1885-10-28
What a Modern Panorama a..
LlmcinnaIi Enquirer.

Cincinnati Enquirer
A classical scholar will tell Us fhst the
nau3 "PGnurama' is derived lr,m two
Greek word pan meaning "all,' "the
WHOLE and Drama. "view' An artist,
using scientific optical term, appropriate IN
his art, will 7ay that n pan ,ruulI ia par.
spactive view Of a town, or n > ene iron
nature proiettsl on the plane II the hori.
zon.' 1haf celebrated German scientist
and genera writer, Franci, Lleb5r, happily
says: Tue panorama may be cOn,iiersI a.
the triumph %! per- pectlye.'
The first requisite is, that the artist select
high point OF locality from which he can
draw, as far "a the eye can reach, AN accur.
ate plan Of tn, scene he wi.hs, To depict
Toe principal requisites are truth Of repre-.
sentatiUn Anl cO,eneSs of imitation. These
are p,werfuIly aided by the peculiar
msthot Of displaying the picture; and.
when il is ia place, by manner If lighting
it, Tie canvas is hung up IN II circle,
around a rotunda. The spectator stands Oh
an elevrtel platform in the center, thus rep.
Iesenting the p siti9n Of the artist whlls
drawing the plan,
A railing separates the spectator from the
painting. ani keeps him ut su IA a distance
IRON It ~ secures the optical illusion THIS
Is completed by tbs manner in which the
light fall, 9n the canvas. 1t is admitted
through an aperture overhead, aud neither
this aperture nor the lighting apparatus Is
seen from the platform From that central
point Of view the spectator sees all parts If
the scene col rod as in nature, with ca III
part in xact proportion 10 the whole. He
can not tell where the picture begins and
where it ends, aud il il difficult n convince
him that lie is hut forty feet from the can
vas. The landscape stretches for mile in
all direction. Ia tue dim distance earth
Bnl sky mingls.
Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1885-10-28
The sabbath" at the south.
ATLANTA constitutional


We hesitate 10 put the home OF the Hugue,
acts anil the Cavaliers in comparison with
the lanl ~ the puritanH whoe fathers on
landing at Plym nth Hock, resolved that
they would Observe Gods laws until they
could get together aud make better onsS
But II does look as II the Observance Of the
Sabbath the holding Of Gods day holy, 1,
finding IT, last stronghold IN the south. The
descendants Of the ,tsrn men who punlshet
bear batting, not because OF the pain II gave
ths bear but becau,s " the fun IL gave the
people, ought 10 hod their own in so simple
n thing soaring oas day Ia ssvsn over
the san, yi tue lolss ordered Cavaliers,
who.a love locks ANA who 9 napier, hre the
byw0r1s OF history Bat, all the same, IL
stands ~ fact that the mellow chsrch
bells, wlo.e chimes ARE lost in the clamor OF
heelleas rlsasura-sosksrs in New England,
still have voice la The towns and villages OF
lie |uuIl