Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1885-09-25
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.
h in a nutshell-chcstnuts.


He accepts on general principles.
1t is said to be curious physiological
fact that a corn never grows on the right
foot Nature evidently made provision
for the kicker
Within the last two years fifty firms
which were engaged in manufacturing and .
selling croquet sets have gone out of the .
business, and the voice of contention is no
longer heard in the land
An exchange remarks that ''it is the
shell that protects the chestnut" What
is wanted now is something to protect the .
paragrapher.
A fashion writer says that the hustle
will be larger and more pronounced the
coming season than heretofore. Another
evidence of the growing prosperity Of the
skating rink.
A West Virginia man has the meat
skillet which was used in Shakespeare's
family. He knows this to be IL fact, for the
man who made it told him 50.
In Norway all women travel for half
fare This is probably an inducement to
get the dear creatures to do their gossip
ping at distance from home.
An exchange says that there is mis-
! sion in this world for dudes. We hope it
is Il foreign mission.
Bismarck believes in ghosts. Perhaps
this is why he is down IN the American
hog.
| a New Haven sea captain, who has
/ spent forty-three years of his life at sea,
can't go to sleep unless his wife dashes
water against his bedroom window Bet
! ba 1nnu,'t ,ynt ,,urh slaau
Edward Everett Hale says people are
kept awake by hunger quite as much as
by bad conscience. This lets editors
| down easy.
Worth loses $4O,0OOa year through un-
paid debts But he manages to pay his
board out of what he does collect.
"Ah, there's the rub! :" exclaimed the
young lady, who was asked by her i'm
pecunous lover if she could do the wash
ing, in case they got married.
The fashion in boots this year is for Il
heavier article. If this sort of thing
keeps up, fashion will have to invent
some sort of II hustle for young men.
A Boston girl is living in strict seclu-
sion, and thinking seriously Of taking the
veil, because, in u moment of excitement
on the receipt of the news of the Puritan's
victory over the Genesta, she waved her
red winter flannels out of the window.
Harper's BdZdr says there is likely to be
IA craze this winter Tor old silver. 1t Will
have to be older than the governments
stamp on the eighty-cent dollar, though.
There is II woman in Allentown, Penn.
who for the past eighteen months has
, made it an unvarying practice to 90 to
bed at nine o'clock in the evening, sleep
soundly all night and until five o'clock in
the afternoon. Her husband has taken
the cotton out of his ears, and is growing
fat.
The Young Ladies' Literary Society of
Blissheld, w. r., have destroyed two
saloons and mobbed two wife-beaters so
, far this year. The next thing they will do,
probably, will be to murder Shakespeare.
Z when Mr.. f. goes fishing" writes a
S correspondent, che never comes home
= empty" Alas that is the case with too
e many fishermen.
The name of the new English pedestrian
who has come to tins country is Raby.
We hope that he isn't married. 1t would
be rather distressing to have ones family
= called the Rabies
e The "Flying Dude" is the name of fast
n train out of Boston. The poor dude seems
Il to catch it on every hand-and foot
The highest rank recognized in the Swiss
army during peace is that of colonel
;, Pretty small inducement for joining the
militia in switzerland.
h a Madrid correspondent says that Eng
:, land is squeezing Spain. Not because She
}, loves her, though.
n Next to having IA handsome figure her
self, II lady's chief desire is that her hus
II band should have handsome figure
a anywhere from 500, 900 to 81 900 900,
T. Oculists predict that we shall become /
e specialized nation in fifty years more. w,
Ie always thought that Boston was ava!
ahead of the times
d Messrs. Roberts Bros. have publishe,
le The Memoirs of Karoline Bauer" Tim
IF only will tell whether this is the RICH
;, Bauer.
n Conundrum: Is Mr.. Hoady IL mattel
e. for John Sherman' Well. Hoadly
id 1t is laughable to see these little town.
N all over the world working to get this spe
cial delivery service. Ii they got it, the.
t. wouldn't use it more than three time
-
"a The difference between base ball min,
-. and Vacationist is that the former ha
- its innings and the latter its outings. Thi
is not very good, but the weather Is kim
z % muggy.-LOlCel courier.
Of Small poX, scarlet fever, yellow fever
1t and cholera can be transmitted from ON
IN person TO another by a kiss, but, hang it
o. What's Teller going to do It's wortl
er taking chances.-DctrOu Free Press.
+. Editors in Madrid place their desks oil
IN trap-doors. SO that when government in
spector enters with subpoena they cal
10 drop into the cellar. Caricaturists climl
~ up the chimney,-N, Y. Morning jour
nal.
l" A Maine newspaper says that Bars il
- Maine are rs scarce as hen S teeth
~ the editors comparison is Just, Il hen den
n list might make Il luxurious living il
" -SOmcruUlo JOurltdl.
~. An amateur physician says that ten
~ days journey on II bicycle will cure neu
Iaigiu. The man who could ride ten sue
cessive days on IL bicycle wouldn't min
he such little thing as neuralgia hilo