The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1885-01-14


WsshinRton Correspondence.
1t recently fell to the lot Of your CORES
pendent to attend stockholders' meeting of
. corporation, in which Bob Ingersoll is an
cfice-holder. That noted pagan presided
over the deliberations of the would-be mill
ionaises present. AS usual he was full OF
sparkling fun, which is difficult to COM
mnnicats on paper. The charm Of thai man
is his overlooking good humor. People do
not value IngersolPs opinions or wants
OF opinions. His godlessness has no
attractions for the average man, bat his
aeounding lollity just shuts out all effective
disapproval He is man of big brain, big
ger stomach and biggest capacity for forcing
icheerfulness upon his hearers. His merry
blue eye always contains the beginning of
emile that broadens out through the mus
cles around his mouth into laugh and
circles ali over the surface OF his great,
broad, smooth face, as the waves caused by
summer breeze cover the waters of q wide
lake. HIS short, hslf-pug nose, set right in
the center of his visage, has always g
funny wrinkle that makes perpetual
speeches as to the Hever-fsiling sunshine of
the mans disposition. His fat figure shows
contentment and self-satlsfaction in every
one of its round curves. His attitudes and
gestures are constant expressions of the
pent-up drolieries that are svery minute
struggling into expression. whether be
stands before the public or is in the midst OF
social company.
On the occasion now referred 20 Iugersoll
told his associates that they had met practi-.
'cally to wind up the affairs of the corpora.
ton, which bad proved q money-losing con-
eern from the beginning. He went on to
detail his own losses through his connection
with it. Holding in his hand let of the
stock holders. and groaning in serio-comic
way, he exclaimed: my eye rests on a
name here which is very appropriate to
man who would 90 into such an enterprise
as thls The name is Gosling-Hsnry A.
Gosling.
The secretary of the meeting turned to q
little delicate-festu slender-framed man
Who sat near and said, Henry, he's calling
Tor you" Poor Mr.. Costing meekly re-
spoDded, That's ell right"
All said Ingersoll, II didn't know Mr.
Gosling was here. Well, the 6 in my name
ought to stand for GooseIet. Yes, Pll 90
back of the she'll and cay Pm unmatched"
He then went on to set out in ludicrous
teTps the way be had been beguiled into
putting his lost thousands into this unlucky
business. There was little Heron came to
ne with bis head full Of inventions and his
pockets full Of machines. He had in one
pocket his paper made from palm. that he'd
wash and iron and fold as . laundry woman
would her clothes. In another pocket he had
y dredging machine. He wanted 10 take the
bottom out OF the Potomac River. In another
pocket he had little geld washing machine
for g0d-mining on the Chestatee River. In
another pocket he had miniature train of
cars, and railway, to illustrate his patent
switch. In another pocket he had paper
tester. His clothes were all pockets, just
pockets sewed together. They reminded me
of the woman who wanted cool dress and
said she believed she'd have it made OF bat.
ton-holes.
In discussing the methods of an agent of
the corporation, Ingersou turned to one OF
the stockholders and said:
Proctor, co you know why the English
fsrthing was coined? I'll tell you the res-
son given for it Dy an Englishmsn. de said
it was made for the convenience of the
Scotch in making their contributions to His
MsjSsty's charities"
Someone suggested that the present hard
times, which had operated to the damage of
the company, might be mitigated by wise
course Of action by Congress.
POOH" said Ingersoll, Congress is no
more good to the business OF the country
than pocket is in q shroud. We are largely
dependent in this country for our prosperity
upon the misfortunes of the rest of the
world. III Russia and India have
. poor crop, We caR sell enough wheat to
make us all rich. The trouble Is our cities
are too big. Too many people are living by
their wits instead Of producing. My plan is
to increase the number OF that class that
both consumes and Produces and diminish
the non-producing class which gathers in the
cities. l DO not expect, however, to see q
speedy end 70 business depression. With
corn in Kansas at eight and ten cents
bushel and wheat lower than at any other
time In twenty years we need look for no
good times In the near future. W. L. c."