River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1885-04-23
The Lime-Kiln Club.

Detroit Free Press.
II hold heah in my hand, said Broth
er Gardner, as he slowly rose up at the
opening of the meeting, "a letter from
Guild pusson in Texas informin us dat
he has named his baby Brudder Gard
ner Holdback. presume it am boy
baby, though it may be a gal. De
writer fatters hisself dat he has done
smart thing, an dat de fucher Of dat
chile will be plain sailin. If anybody
wants to name his offspring arter me or
Sir Isaac Walpole, or Giveadam Jones,
or Judge Cadaver, we can't hinder, but
so fur as ar personally consumed l
want to indulge in a few remarks in re-
gard to dis habit.
II verify believe dat de foolishness Of
sartin parents in tyin' names to der off
springs has beclouded an wrecked
many lives De ole man who was
shovelin' snow mex doah to me de cd
der day was named Henry Clay. 1t
was on the ideah DAT he would make a
mighty smart man, but de mint he got
old huff to realize who an what Clay
was he pulled right back. He couldn't
nebber git dar, an he knowed it. In
stead of bein' addressed as Henry Clay,
eberybody calls him Hank Dirt an
he's gwine to be called dat till de clay
kivers his coffin.
"Some vars ago naybur o mine
named his baby Washington Lincoln
Grant Smith He war bound to fill
dat boy chocl full O military genius an
craftsmanship, but de chile wasn't TO-
vars ole befo he realized dat it was too
steep. He hadn't reached ten befo' he
was a thief an liar, an dc odder day
he went to prison for burglary. De
name was too long fur de public to
grapple wild, an so he was called Wash
Grant Later on it got to be Wash
board, an bv de name of dashboard
Smith he am registered on de prison
books.
81 has seen Prime Minister Jones
drawn swill cart around, while clus
behind him, leading a yaller dog by
piece of old clothes-line, came Mont
morenci Stubbins, / has seen Queen
Cathrine Bivens at dc wash tub, while
de Princess Bienville was n hangin' out
de clothes fur her. | has witewashed
on de same Job wild Gar jackson. an |
has BACKED stoves alonside OF George
de Foth Bones.
de white folks am iist as bad, an it
really does me good to see by de papers
dat tHortense Victoria Clark has skip
ped out wild DE Lislo Fitzhue Brown,
who was q professional roller skater
loafer on salary Of 50 per week.
Ebery day de police Judge am Sendin'
Zachariah Chambers, Roscoe Conk-
lings, Thomas jefferson and Horny w.
Longfellows to de Jug, an cherry day de
good old names OF Jane an Betsey an
Sarah an Emma an Lucy am GROWN
in contempt wild de female sect.
''Speallin' fur de Guild race alone, Isay
dat de fadder who rises above Moses or
Samuel or William when huntin' fur
name fur his baby boy am coaxin' biles
and bunions to grow whar' dey doan'
need to. De mudder who can't make
selection from Chloe Catherine, Violet
an Sarah Jane needn't feel riled if her
gal runs Off wild bowlegged stove
blacker an eands up her days in a gar
ret. Let us now attack de req lar pur-
ceedins."
DIDN'T RESOLVE.
Waydown Bebce begged to offer a
resolution asking the Legislature Of
Michigan to enact law to more fully
carry out the provision of the Civil
Rights bill, as applicable to tie colored
population Of this State.
HAS you bin denied any Of your
rights lately, Brudder Bebce?" asked
the President.
81 can't say as ] has, san, but l has
heard complaints from Guild men dat
dey hain't treated as good as white
people"
Name few"
II has been told dey can't stop at first
class hotels, an dey am not wanted at
roller Kinks
"Brudder Bebee, kin YOU tell my why
any Guild man should want to pay -
a day to stop ut fIlst class hotel kept
by white man an frequented by tony
white folkses. when be kin be made to
home at a house kept BY Guild man
fur de benefit Of Guild people, at one
quarter De price,"
"Not 'zaci +, sab. "
"Do you know why any respectable
Guild pllssoa should want to frow away
his time an money wheeliu' hisself
round an round rink patronized by
silly gals, soft headed women an evil
minded nen?"
"No. sab.
Neither do /. 1t would be much
mo- to bis credit to go out an pound
snow. Your resolushun am decided no
cause for aekshun, an You win at once
sot down DE laws Of dis kentry am
big 'nuff to gin cherry man in it. no
matter what his race or euler, all de
rights he kin take keer Of"