Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1885-04-16
Marriage In England,


i'iii itl' i-pH'i'!i 'i'''ttt'li
EH-ll,h society has not made its system
perfect. l. hts based marriage, in theory at
least upon the affections of the parties con-
ceInsl, and it has made 1t as indIsSoIuhle as
ii, creed warrants, but it ha, not arranged
any working system by which those VINO
contract marriages can be sure tha; they uu-
derstaud one another Ia the lower classes
they do. and IN the mid Ilecas>es but IN
the classes governed by etiqueltes and OBJ
servant Of the ceremonies Of life. they nave,
with every increase in rank, less and less If
opportunity Of knowledge, aud are often when
they marry mere figures to each other Man
and woman meet in bathrooms, or in country
houses; but they see little of each others
minds, and nothing Of each others inaer
character. Lord Durham, though expert
encgd in society. and surrounded BY women
who knew Miss Miner we'll aud were quite
readY to discuss her, knew 50 little Of her
that by his own account. he was in doubt
Just before his proposal whether she was not
'.the s,upldcst girl he had ever seen in his
iife,' and that he believed her to be in love
with him. in spite OF constantlv-repeated ev-
idence TO the contrary He had, in fact no
knowledge Of her except as to her outside
appearance and knew his own ignorance,
for be knew his own doubts and complained
shortly after the marriage that, if his wife
we're not mad, he had been very badly
used There is no sense in system which,
while baslng marriage on love. and making
the tie indissoluble. allows, and. indeed. oft
en- causes. ignorance such Is that. We do
not suppose Lord Durham is exceptionally
foo!ish-and he certainly was not exception
ally iHexperienced-an although Miss Mil
ner was exceptionally reserved, she was not
81 much so as 10 excite in his mind any ilt a
that he was ieft in unusual ignorance.
The truth is, the upper-classes apply to
their daughters system which, without
their intending ii, secludes them too much
from the men they are intended to marry,
and produces half the mistakes and scandals
and separations of which society hears SO
much. The lad aud lass often know nothing
about each other. The etique,'es have
somehow got themselves wrong. till We have
neither the English system, which is free
choice by the young themselves. nor the
French system, which is choice by their
families, but an inconvenent and almost un-
workable muddle of both. We away, won
der how the very rich bring themselves to
marry at all. SO ignorant as they must be Of
the girls with whom they are to he linked
for life, and so suspicious as they mus, be
of those around them, and hardly wonder at
the way they are caught by unprincipled
married women, whom the laws of society
permi, to be a little more spontaneous and
interesting. We do not know how reform
can be introduced but it ought not TO be
practically difficult and until it is intro
duced, the world will continue to lie shocked
by at least twice as many scandals as, allow
ing fully for the inherent viciousness of
mankind, ought reasonably to be expected.
1t is not only that mortality is imperfect, but
that We put upon il the perfectly needless
strain Of making marriage far too much Of a
haphazard affair