McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1885-03-19
emup shall take her off your hands st

emup shall take her off your hands al
once"
DIR. Hackemup was a widower who
lived opposite. Pomposity, gluttony,
and parsimoniousness were his leading
characteristics. Mrs. Grundy de.
clared that he was on the lookout for
wife. That is, rich wife. Venus,
without golden charms, would not
have attracted him. Medusa, well
supplied with cash, would have been
irresistible to him. Miss Skiggs' APP
parel, although gorgeous in color,
was of cheap material. Her luggage
consisted of one dejected-looking hair
trunk in which Eve might have stored
her finery. had she possessed any.
Mrs. Somers scarcely thought her
husbands charitable plan would sue
coed.
Juliana keziah would not captivate
DR.. Hackemup. But, to her surprise,
in whatever terms Johns invitation
was couched. it proved effective.
The very next morning the Doctor
called, evidently prepared for con-
quest. He acknowledged the intro
duction with a profound bow, restor-
ing Juliana's teeth, which unfortu-
nately dropped at the moment, with
delighted smile as though the acct
denG was intended as special compli-
ment to him, and at once proceeded to
air his most captivating smiles and
graces. Juliana received his atten-
tons with dove-like humility and
youthful diffidence, but in few mo-
ments Mrs. Somers concluded that
Juliana might have come in search of
health, should Providence kindly in
clude husband, she would not scorn
the blessing.
Johns exquisite delight in the scene,
apparently only to his wife, finally
produced in her somewhat similar
frame of mind; at any rate, like good
wife, she resolved to rejoice in his Joy
and accept the inevitable with resig-
nation.
"Miss Juliana.' said the Doctor, as
they sat on the porch together about a
week after her arrival, during which
time he had been most devoted, Ibid
you-ah, ever observe, when looking
out upon the western sky, that as the
sun goes down in the solitudes of the
night, it-ah, becomes much darker
than at midday"
"Ah, Doctor" murmured the lady
thus addressed, ''few are gifted with
such powers of mendacity and voraci-
ty as yourself
'.Fairest of your SEX" with an ap-
proving smile, ''your views coincide
with mine to an iota. The entire fore
noon, secluded in the privacy of my
own domicile, | have watched thee
fitting to and fro like a sunbeam about
this favored mansion; this afternoon.
however, l determined to ignore my
own pleasure, so behold me at your
side. Now, alas! the day waneth;
have already procrastinated my delay
much longer than anticipated to stay.
l must bid thee FAREWELL" striking a
still more imposing attitude, in I'M
conscious imitation of the Colossus of
Rhodes.
ssFarewell is word to be uttered with signs,
While lachrymals drop on the nose from the
eyes,
But who, save and excepting the most swinish
of pigs,
Could enduah the thought, gazing. on thee,
lovely Skiggs!"
"Have you noticed" dropping the de-
clamatory and speaking quite conf
dentially, ''that when am away am
not here?"
81 believe" confessed Juliana Kez-
iah modestly, ''that my Leditations
have approached that climactery.
Take care Doctor" as that gentleman
in bowling his adieus leaned senti-
mentally on the gate; THAT gate is
very elaborated
The warning came too late. Gate
and doctor came down together with a
crash.
'.Resurgam - exclaimed the heroic
gentleman, superbly, as, extricating
himself from the debris of the gate, he
arose, solemnly rubbing himself.
'sHave YOU Observed his features
gradually regaining their customary
expression of dignified calm, ''that
when you fall your equilibrium is apt
to be destroyed ?''
And still rubbing himself carefully,
he strobe maJestically away.
Juliana remained, for a few mo-
ments after the engaging Doctors de-
parture, almost overcome by emotion.
Full forty-fve times had the lilies blown
Since she looked upon the sun.
For many years she had sought
one thing in life, and but one
a husband, heretofore with notifying
lack of success. '.Now," she whis-
pered to herself, 81 see land at last"
the doctors portly form appearing to
her wishful eyes a sort of Canaan, of
which she was already part proprie-
tor.
"Oh, Annie,' she simpered, as, en-
tering the house, she. sank into chair
near Mrs. Somers, 81 really feel quite
dilute. The doctors remarks are so
fatulent, it is almost impossible for
me to moderate my sympathies to
compete with the situation. He is
coming TO tea tomorrow evening. l
thought l had better reform the cook,
so that she might be prepared for
him.
81 am glad you mentioned it, Juli-
ana" said Mrs. Somers, pleasantly.
''The doctor is famous for his CASTRO
nomic powers. F."