Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1885-01-10
Saturday smiles.

A severe critic at a picture gallery: An old
maid GnnOcently Landscape Nature indeed
Why, itsnO more like nature than am."-P,trach
wife, did you bring your opera-glass with
you: Yes but, plaque it, l can't use it,
"Why not!" "Oh. / left nv diamond rings at
home on the washstand."- Chicago Nelcs.
mendcant entered an editorial office at a
time when the editor was very busy
''Sir." said the mendicant, ''Ihave lost leg"
All right. sir. 80 cent al. IN our Lost and
Found column will doubtless insure its return
No questions asked. suppose:"-Ne,c. York Sun
Ibid you pass the hat the pastor of a Texas
congregation asked his deacon after the morning
service. Yes, | did, ;" said the deacon: and then
looking into the vacant interior of hat that
anted nothing but lining. he added gIoomiy,
$50 did every body else "-Btrdette.
Reciprocity: Landlord-'.Have YOU any fam
hy? Intending lOdger-"No." THAT'S
right, for don't let my rooms to dodgers with
families. l. L,-"Have you a famlIy?n l.
yes; four children" I. L.-''Sorry to hear it
for / never take apartments with landlords who
have families. st. Petersburge- Zeit,usg
Jones-Speaking Of the principles of govern
Ment. you know that Cicero says
Smith-Kickero. you mean.
Jones-NO | don't: mean Cicero
Smith-But he was called Kckero
JOnes-Ohl well if he was kicker it don't
matter what he sad.-TerGs Siftiags.
What a incomprehensible Mirandy's got
10 De sence she went to thur cademy " remarked
Mrs. Homespun 10 her husband. WV. wot's
the gal been dom now?" asked Daniel .DoinI"
exclaimed Mrs Homespun. wy, she said she
must go TO her room to dsrobe. as she wished
to retire early" '-Disrobe and retiresr mur-
INJURED Daniel. ''wot's them MAJ" Il dunno, !"
replied ma; but she didn't do nothin' O. the
sort She only undressed and went to bed.
Did ye ever hear o the SIGH pevarication2"
Judging from the groan that came from Daniel
II IL safe to presume that he never did.-Pres-
bsteTtdn Banner.
IL is the young lady with the brand new seal
skin who Is ever remarking. How awful!y cold
IL is while her less fortunate sister with moth
Ing out a summer jacket, is lust suffering from
the heat" though the thermometer be twenty
degrees below ZerO.-BOStOn TraHscrjpt
Hon. Tom Ochiltree is not on the Inauguration
Reception Committee. Later he may be put on
she Committee Of Illumination.-Ne,o Orleans
Picdyrfne.
She was book agent She called in our
ONCE She was very pretty and sweet and we
1eIi In love on the spot. Sir. | am engaged
ION. We are so sorry. When is il to be-" She
FLUSHED and mOdestly withdrew. She was new
70 the business and would probably have told rs
what she was engaged in selling. only we had to
oct In seif-defense.-SOneT-CileJ Journal
musical dry-gOods man pots the trade of
1854 In this way At first il was an allegro, in
March came the allegretto fOrtissimo and I'm
July followed the frosty adagio. with a
continuing crescendO up 10 J ecernber Now
the recitative is upon Us and the music OF the
future is the daily theme. Piano. piano
pianissimO and oil will be well: the big drummer
and the bold trumpeter will diminuendo some
what and the careful and conservative flute and
oboe VIII soon lead OF Opus 1ss5.-Dry Goods
Bulletin.
AT the art gallery: Mrs. Newgold-'This Aunt
Eunice, Is real old MASTER" Aunt Eunice-
We'll. i shouldn't care if it was: it's lust az
good as some o the new ones."-Life
distinguished statesman. recently on his
travels, advised young married couple never
10 GET mad at the same time" but he did not
Kiss the bride when invited TO do so. His bet
Ter half was along and might have got mad
alone.-Ang1tstd (Gd.) Chronicle
Won't be heard from.-''Yes, nv friends
yes he Numbered as he waved his arms around
and grew red in the face These railroads are
the leeches of the land They are sucking the
Ife-olood Of industry II elected to the legisla-
ture. my first and last and greatest effort shall
be directed TO putting the harness on this ram
pant racer OF monopoly" He was elected. He
started for the capital the other day. and a
crowd was at the depot to cheer him Off Yes.
my friends, We will humble this monopolvr" he
said from rear platform: and then taking a seat
In the car he got his railroad pass ready to show
TO the conductor-WdH Street Netcs