The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1885-04-03
BOOK AGENTS.
An Editors Observations Respecting the
Male and Female Variety.


Male and Female Variety.
We can stand a book agent, provided
he is of the masculine denomination.
We are not afraid of him. We know
that he is coming and can deal with
him without buying his book. He NAV
be pompous and courtly or he may be
pimpled and cadaverous; his lips may
b. believed with honeyed batteries; he
may be oily and crafty in his APP
proaches; he may modestly ask for
lust a moment of our precious time
he may say that he only Graves for the
use of our name, or he may charge in
upon Us and seek to carry us by storm.
This does not matter with US. He is a
man. and so are we in small way. and
we have our rights We tell him what
we will and what we won't, and that
ends it.
But when she comes. then is the viii
ter OF our disc ontent We bow to the
storm and have no remarks to submit.
All the hidden resources of our polite
ness are called into requisition. She is
a woman and has the advantage of Us.
She has seen better days and has tear
in her eye. She belongs to an old fam
lily and swan in luxury in her youth
Little cares she for money; character is
everything with her. She Is working in
the interest of literature and to Lift up
society. Her book is for the home cir
Gle. and is destined to ennobie the char
acter of mothers, and in that way to add
glory to our republican institutions
She came the other day. How glib
and rafting she was. She had us be-
fore we knew it. She had us setting a.
erect as a sunbeam in July. and meekly
nOdding assent to her sage observations.
We neither moved hand nor foot, and
as for talking, we had no chance. She
talked fast and she talked long and she
talked all the time. After RECALLING us
with the grandeur of her ancestry; the
pleasures of her childhood and the sur
passing excellence of her book, she
touched us up. She did it handsomely.
She expatiated on the potency of our
influence. the value of our personal sig
nature and the well known war nth and
kindness of our heart. Greatness, she
limited. always had tear on its cheek
for the struggling and unfortunate
And there we were-dumb and foolish,
a victim to her spell. Time came and
went, but she went on and on and or.
We felt fatigued and lonesome and
wondered how it would end. Finally,
she gradually descended from her cir
cumlocutory. flight and lit in the region
Of business. The atmosphere became
commercial ard it was question OF
dollars and cents. She had book for
sale and desired to sell Us copy. 1t
ceased to be question of ancestry and
the poetry and praise all faded away.
The spell was broken and all we had to
do was TO say whether or not we would
buy the book.
We d it as we'll as we could've
spoke in bright and respectful tone
we even thanked her for her yisit-we
paid her 4 tribute to her brilliant con-
versational gifts-we wished her high
fortune and golden future, and ex-
pressed regret that it had to be so.
How her whole aspect changed! She
patted herfoot with petulsnce, her face
flushed, she breathed wildly and swept
angrilv away.
And yet truly we felt sorry for her.
1t hurt us to think of her hard lot and
her desperate devices to stem the tide
of adverse fortune. We would have
bought her book. except we could not
cOnscientiously pay an eXorbita1t price
for a useless article.-RiclrmOai! { pd.)
Religious Herald.