The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1885-01-14

'But, your Majesty" cried Susetta, Il
cannot dance without music"
''Musici" responded the royal animated
showcase Of paste diamonds. emusic! of
course not, go at once and get some music"
The oficious official rushed to the street
and captured an astonished hand-organ
and monkey.
''That is not music, your Majesty"
laughed Susette, merrily, ''that Is a dread
full noise.n
'sNoisee, asked the royal brother Of the
moon and light Of all Persia, s'what's the
differenceT'
susette explained. She wanted certain
instruments, an orchestra, In a word, and
Immediately some of his majesty's suite vera
detailed as such, and while the instruments
were being procured the possessor OF fifty
paste Koh-i-noors smoked and unused upon
the strange results of western civilization as
developed in legs and motion.
When the instruments and inprovised
musicians were brought together, and the
order given TO play, the noise was more hor-
rible than the hand organ. Little Susette
stuck her delicate fingers "a her delicate
ears and screamed. The begrlied Shah was
more puzzled than before, and when told
that his subjects could not produce the re-
quired music, he made a few remarks of q
personal nature in his native tongue that
caused even the swarthy faces of his faith.
full followers to pale. He adjourned the
performance for g. prize fight, gotten up for
his entertainment between a noted peer of
the realm and a noted prize.fghter. The
alarmed vizier consulted Susette.
''What can I dog he cried in despair.
''His Majesty threatens TO bow-string us
all"
''Send for our director" said Susette, 'he'u
hammer the noise out of those fellows If you
pay him enough"
The director was sent for. All musical
directors have dirty nails, take snuff, and
are Ill tempered. Between pinches this POI
tentate Of the opera studied the situation.
''I can furnish His Majesty with a very
/ good orchestra Of my own" hs said
'tBut will they go to PersiaF'
They will go to the devil If you pay
! them"
"And be his subjects, Liable to the bow
| stringF'
Certainly. with a liberal allowance of
beer and tobacco"
but His Majesty has given his order.
! He does not permit his orders to be ques-
! toned or changed"
The director took huge pinches of snuff.
| He could not solve the difficulty.
| Musicians" he said, ''are not made; they
are born Adam, man, was created in
one day; a first violin is the result of many
generations His Majesty's orders are inn
possible"
"Perhapsso," replied the poor vizier; ''that
is our system of government The shah is
born to a right to try the impossible, we are
born to suffer from the failure. You can
have your own price for the effort, and my
head if you fail"
A compromise was agreed on. The director
was to furnish musicians of his own while
instructing the barbarians.
"Can waIlop themg' he asked.
Undoubtedly"
'sThat is something. 1t won't help on the
music, but it will relieve my feelings"
The music was procured and the sovereign
of Persia made happy in little ballet Of
his own. The orchestra to be gotten up
out of Persians, as the director prophesied,
did not prosper. By the time the Shah
reached Paris, the first and second violins
had disappeared. They were subsequently,
arrested by the police of London, striving
to make precarious living as musicians,
and sentenced to hard labor as nuisances.
The trombone committed suicide, while the
bass VOL and clarionet We're in hopeless
state of idiocy. The drum alone remained
of a sound mind and sound execution. But
one can't have an orchestra out of a drum,
and SO the attempt was abandoned. The
.egular orchestra performers, however, were
happy, content and quite willing to go to
Persia or the devil, as the director had said,
upon reasonable pay and unlimited tobacco
and beer.
Susette grew in favor and, without doubt,
Persia would have had an English queen but
for the unhappy fact that at Paris the Shah
succeeded in adding two French performers
to his troupe.
In the first performance thereafter Susette
saw, or thought she saw, her eastern master
bestowing too much favor on the newcomers,
who really threw their shapely legs-I beg
pardon, linnbs-much higher than she, and
stung by jealous wrath the plucky little Su-
settle planted succession of right and left
blows, and sundry kicks on the persons of
her rivals that were more vigorous than
graceful. The French rallied and general
engagement came off.
For awhile the shah labored under the
delusion that THIS was part of the ballet
and enjoyed it hugely, but when he saw
that two-thirds of his troupe had black eye
and bloody noses, while Susette's lovely
countenance resembled a colored railroad
map of England, the truth dawned on hi
eastern intellect that he was being treated
to a revolt of the harem, and calling In ali
eunuchs he Immediately ordered the bow
string for the entire troupe. 1t called out
the full force of European diplomacy to save
the politest capital of the civilized world the
scandal Of such an execution. 1t put an end
however, to the shah's private ballet
What shame that these writer's of comic
opsra should cudgel their dull brains fcI
plots when such a charming story rs thu
exists in fact DOM PIATT.
MAC-o-C CHEEK, o., Sept. 80.