Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1885-05-07

N
same razor he had used two days before.
Being answered atfirmatively, the patient v
man said, Then give me chloroform."
''Why didn't go to her assistance 7"
said the man who had lain in bed while I
his wife laid out burglar. young man, \
I've had number Of tussles with the old
gal, and knew that burglar had trouble
enough without my giving him any" +
"Hellol" said the policeman, ''what
are you sitting out here in the cold for
Why don't you go in the house have You
lost your night key9" mo" responded
the disconsolate citizen, I-hic-hayen't
lost ther key. Pve-hic-lost Their key
hole. "-Pr0hi6itionist.
An unfortunate Brooklyn man who was
burdened with the name of Dewitt
Charles Clinton Fletcher Piper, has been
allowed by the courts to drop Piper and
Dewitt. Why should parents saddle such
names on their unohending olfspring2-
~ Y. Tribune.
When smiling spring with winkling feet
Through mead and woodland gaily dances
The happy birds with carols sweet
Salute the maid us she advances;
Then verdure decks again the vale,
And early flowers are found In punches,
Ane men resort to beer and ale,
And give up drinking whiskey punches
-bosso" co@'r'
1t is rumored that Postmaster General
Villas is going to institute reform in
postage stamps, SO the twos can be dis
tinguished from the ones even in the
darkest night. The mucilage on the twos
will be favored with vanilla and that on
the ones with lemon.-Sprifqfed Union.
Clara (shyly)-"Of all the months of
the ypnr GporuA denr which do Won
think is the happiest one for lovers =
George (of thrifty nature)-" May is |
the happiest because il is the cheapest.
ohra-" oheapestt now ueorgem
" 700 m.e .. III .ne SeasUn iot oS'Vei'
anu Voo carry 'or I've o'e''in'
Il WINS sorry to hear of your wife's
d 'ath Mr. Isaac" said gentleman enter
ing IL clothing store. ''Ya," said Mr..
Isaac wiping away tear, "she tied ietz
efening" Twill the funeral take place
tomorrow ?" "Ya,to-morrow Afternoon.
You want TO look at some find clodlng,
Mr.. Schmidt ~ ChITAt'dh HonieJ0uThdt.
Little Billy. who WAS about four years
old, after waiting good while with com
mendable patience, said " Mamma, may
have some sardines and bread!" 10
which the fond mother replied: Not
|
give them to you" But, ma, it's me
who's hungry, not you" And the poor
little fellows eyes filed with tears.
When I first saw Long Bridge, in 1861,
n SQUAD of Confederates guarded the vir-
} ginia end, while few regulars guarded
the Washington end. All the market
J wagons had to pass both pickets. 1t was
/. common thing in the early morning to
| tnIy at bo1 la
| goes there 2" ''Marketman with shad.'
Advance marketman and drop one
shad."-E6 Perkins.
3 The Mansfeld Conn Elastic Frog
, Comnanv wifi n canitnl Of 800 600. hns
failed. This is unfortunate, but it is Just
what might have been expected. A frog
manufacturing company might have sue
ceeded in Paris, where everybody eats
. them but many people in this country
entertain u prejudice against that sort of
food. and those who don't can't be fooled
" with any patent elastic bntrachian.-
} NOrTfst0ion Herald. ..5..
..cbor,ov y said mamma " Won bove
s boan a yery nongltv hov. Won have boc,i
nIoy;n, n;,rhlss 1rJ vor know tnld
!" ynn thot yn,, n,u,nt for ;ts ,,n,nlliu,, nnI
gambling is very wicked. Now, 1 hopl
;, Won will never gamble again" CharlpN
y promised that he wouldn't and his
"a mamma was so delighted that she tool
!, him to the parish fair and gave him the
4 money to take chances in almost every
- thing there. -lSuntl,y lSclt00t /idpocgte.
~ ,,,,,,,;,,o,,. ,,,o,,I,ap of ob,,rol, mn,
n "a IL frn,,, ~, o;t,, ,o,, toll,;,,,
!, ,r;tb lie nnutor the cher iov about az
y ILL. - sor,a,,l,nt o,,,,raeei,,a Ia a
20 a., ,,,,;.i, hfto, % Ion,,,i
- w, h rS ";,t,'as ha oon",m1ad 5v snv;5,,
f. an fact, she may lie called the salt o
the earth" yes" responded the clergy
!" man quickly land the pepper too. 81
Mem York Tribune.
of Gu Jobr I,I,h,cL to,d a story i, nj;
s,,aac,, a., SLra,yshrr,, vasterJoy ,yhicl
n ,,,..,,,,,'l ,'',;,.;,',, IL,
| ne "" " ,.a 49, tra'aIar ,,'hn 40
,';s;toa = NJ, E,,,,I,,,i ,,;lln,,a ord II,
,,;sod 80 i a ian5;ra Nronr
d. Hihnrni "nd ,a,nhor If the IncsI nean
Il, soc;at,, IL il hoIieyad Tbs re,lI ryo
Id Iisconrog;ng "Ahn soid the lilac
chief, with resignation, she gave MS s
~ much good advice that we had TO put hir
III 10 death nercifnlly."- The 50. .Jaut
ry Gayette.
ut NJ, r, ,.,,.o,,,,,,,,, 1a,4,,.,
- i'la65S ~, ~ II paaN,a.t
es s,,,l,,sa ,,o,sas ,rarn e. Ia - g.,
,s- f,iIoJ IN t,ot tho morey bacarss tba moo,
in HI ~ Ii,,l;,,l a., H.,
Du Wv, 1 g.. avn, t ',5at ~ a.. i,
10 tho fo;Inro Of ibo i"tt.r IN ,rriya MI a.,
he no,ni fioors Jaoii,a1 ~ ,a,, ti ~, s,, ~
he INT tolJ lin, tbev you'll ,,w tha re,,,,i,
u. price ner pound for injured goods. mi
ut kind of treatment is calculated TO hun
the feelings even of !, ,,spring noet ~
he Nan Harm ,L,y1u,n
'ct " ...,;,, a.. ,,o,.,.... ia..a. ..:.,
&c. a9', .lis LEV ~ ~ A.. VIZ !.
p' ~ u dis !" v"ui !, e,,i; usau " IN
So IN n,.oi ',,i,is. =
~ ~. .Io.''I' VI,
he I'm up, ~ ~. Moi ~. ~ na',s'
III ~. NV" Ie,. ~ "a: ~ m ~, 'e.,n1 =,
ne ,'s .es'' ..i''t L., "o ~ VIII We VI
mt lew Di:c, ' ~, nv" ..iu w." ~ o af"''n
au ~ .ti''; ..a,',ii,',5 -
III pleu 'nn speen'i eories siot t new
WIZ "hS'iiii6 iiom tiin' Is 10y en,'r q
telegraph. - ost,,A 7TanScIipt.
Snma naoine CD, n.yor ,lIo,r onvt,,;,
/. IN escnpe them. Ihcr. ,,os vonn Aloe,
n. non Fitzgay yyho o,n.n,ea ~ tbe Sta
ue when the thnruometcr Las 800 in ~
shade with mir of ear mnffs adorn;n
oss thc side of his mead uHelIo ~ said
"m friand ..N,Iat,s tbe matter Aren
oih ,frnii nj vonr ears be;ng frost b;tten a,
u vo,,y ~ tiOb M o-yv not az oil thonl,,
VI; Want IN tbe Thomas con,ort iast ,,;ah
Nv non't want onv az tbe bormony 10 a,ce,,,