Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1885-03-11
PLEASANTREES.

CALLED back: That part of us con-
tiguous to the spinal column Hart
ford Times.
GLADSTONE chops down trees, not
for exercise, but that hemay be known
as a good teller.
HE-I see the latest idiocy of wom-
Ell is to have a monkey for pet.
She-That's not new 1t was SO when
we got married.
ONE man in Germany has made and
sold 5000, 900 thermometers. That S
what you might call making money
by degrees Yonkers Statesman.
this is good weather for the chol-
era," remarked a citizen on a zero
morning. eyes, but I haven't got the
cholera, gloomily replied the second
citizen.
IT is reported that Queen Victoria
has never eaten a piece of cake. This
accounts for her exemption from the
general rule, Uneasy lies the head
that wears crown"
LADY-"Youhave no beaux, cousins,
or men to bother around, | hope?"
Servant seeking a place)-'Nary a
won, mum; only an ovid basic OF a
husband. . Boston Beacon.
ssDICK, why don't you spunk up and
ask Hattie whether she will have you
or not and done with 1T, or really,
don't you want to know?' yes,
that's it! | really don't want a no!''
IT is stated, but we will not vouch
for the authority, that there is small
town in the far West that does not
claim to have the "best roller skater
IN the United States. y Yonkers
Statesman.
sHEY, Sambo, wha' dye leave yo'
last boardin' place fur?" 80, dey
charge too much fur dis yer darky."
'Wha' dey charge "Dey charge me
wifi stealth de Spoons, and so [ LEI. y
Independent.
Miss MAcKEY has married an Ital-
ian nobleman, and Mrs. Tom Thumb
will soon espouse another. The mar
rying Of these fellows to ladies able to
support them will tend to abolish the
hand-organ nuisance.
A CITY photographer went into the
suburbs for the purpose of taking a
live bull from life. For a two-mile
run the chances seemed good for the
bull taking the artist from life
[Yonkers Statesman.
ssNoW, Clara said the teacher, IF
YOU should meet a bear what would
YOU dor" Doesn't bear squeeze
people?" queried the girl. Yes: "
1nThen when | saw a bear [ should
stand very still. = South and West.
ONE of the prominent citizens OF
Adairsyille, Ca, fell asleep in church
last Sunday. His wife, sitting. by,
pushed him gently to arouse him,
when ''the old soldier" In hall
sleepy way, cried out audibly: ooh,
get up Molly, and make the fire your
self"
UNCLE JoHN-Well, Jimmy have you
enioyed yourself to-day? Jimmy
No. 7 haven't. I've had miserable
day. Uncle John-Miserable day?
How's that2 Jimmy-Aunt Betsy
told me to eat all the dinner | wanted,
and | couldn t. Boston Transcript.
ssWHAT makes you SO late coming to
school this morning?" asked Mr.
Leonard, a teacher in one of the New
York public schools, of tardy pupil
named Hornbrooke. "They arrested
a burglar on Fifty-eighth Street, and
ma sent me to the station house to
see if it was pa" was the reply
Texas Siftings.
THE .course of true love, traced by
letters in breach of promise suit re
Gently, read in this manner: Dear
Mr.. Smith, my Dear John" my
Darling John" My own darling
Jack "My darling john" Dear
John" Dear Sir" Sir" and all
was over Chicago Tribune.
A MINISTER forgot to take his SER
mon with him to church, and his wife
discovering grin the mistake, sent it to him
in charge Of a small boy, who was to
receive ten cents for the job. Present
u he returned for the money. "You
delivered the sermon, did your she
asked. mo, mum" he replied. 81
lest guy it to him; he's dellyerin' OF
It himself =