Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1885-06-17
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.

Bride: F." There! kns~ how 1t would
bel We have not been married month,
and already you have ceased 70 care for
me-" Young husband: "My dear,
what can you be thinking orr You arc
dearer TO me than over" Bride: 1T
isn't SOL know 1t isn't. You took tea /
ct our house several times before We
were married. and you scarcely touch
ed thing. Ma said you were truly In
love, because you had no appetite.
Young husband: "Thas may be true
enough; but how does that touch the
present case?'' Bride: And now
you are actually complain ing just be-
cause I forgot to get any thing for break.
fast"
What Sary Ann Neg lected.-" You
don't cook like Sary Ann used to, Ma.
tilda," he said, in tones of gentle. ex-
asperating reproof "no, 1t seems TO
| me you can't cook like 6ary Ann used
to-" On another occasion 1t was
"You're not - smart in getting round
~ Ssry Ann WAS, Matilda. You don't
About this timo . heavy rollins-pin
came In contact with his head. What
do you mean by that, You vixen % he
exclaimed, In agony. "I'm doing
some Of the work Sary Ann neglected"
she replied, and there WAS mucn peace
in the family thereafter.
"Do you know. George. wish you
would stay at homo 70 morrow" "Why,
darling p" "Oh, because this after
noon . terrible looking tramp came
hero while you were away and ordered
me to give him something to eat, 30 l
had to give him all that sponge cake
made last Saturday and, George, be
says he'scoming back TO morrow" Did
he eat the cake. darling ?" Yes, all
of it." Well, then, set your mind at
, rest, dear he will never come back. ="
Serious Drawback" Jack, my dear
, fellow, your cousin is q delightful
I creature wish had her for wife!"
You needn't wish anything of the
kind" " Why not ?" "She cant
: play the piano" Well, you don't
think she Is any the worse for that
surely 9" said she could not play
the piano but the misch ief il she will
! keep on playing, notwith standing"
. Ethel 81 can't think what Maud
: can SEQ in that ungainly, awk . re
!. Captain Heavitree. Madge: My
dear, it's becoming perfectly absurd
: Only think-the gardener told the cook
\ yesterday that no hoped the captain
J. would stay another fortnight, for posi-
Itively there was no necessity TO roll the
e gravel walks while they kept perpetual
, ly promenading up and down.
A Singer-A man in the Grain wa
heard to groan 60 friRhtfully that thu
passengers took pity on him, aud on
, of them gave him a drink OF whisk,
2 out of flask. " Do you feel better?'
a asked the giver. a. do" said no VIII
}. had groaned. "What allied you!'
/" Allied me?" " Yes, what made you
p groan so?" " Groan! Great land of free
I dom was singing"
!, He Could Wait" The doctor says @
"a must drink oirun for me blood" sal
Mike, who was an invalid. "Shure
Il an how can yez drink oirun, Moike?'
8 asked his wife. !" By meltin' 1t, .
y course" "But yez can't drink he
melted oiru1, ye fule." "Oi knaw 9
= can't drink hot melted oirun, but i,
X meself that can wait till 1t cools.''
4, Doctor: 4" You see any dear, 1 hsv
pulled iuy patient through, after all
r very critical case. can tell you!" I'll
40 wite: Yes, dear; but then you are 4
clever in your profession. All, II ha
only known you five years earlier.
80 feel certain my Srst husband-my poo
10 Ehomas-would have been saved"
al A New York dentist once receive
E. an order for "a block of teeth" as TO
! lows: My mouth Is three inch,
= acrost, five eighth inches through Il
- jaw; some humocky on the edge
IT, shaped like horse shoe, toe forwar
- II you want me to be mors paeticK lar
" shell hav &c cum thar. Yours trul
et. -"
Il Womar's rights" exclaimed
AT Philadelphia man, when the sable
ar was broaoted. What m o-e rights
they WANT My wife is ete-nally hos
DE ing me, our daughters boss us bouh, al
ST. the servant girl bosses the whole fan
a, ly. It's time the men were allow,
r. some rights 70
o., An American tourist was visitil
Naples, and saw VesuviU8 during |
eruption. "Have you anything Iii
IN that In the New World ?" was the gu,
m, ton Of an Italian spectator. NO
ng- replied Jonathan" but guess we ha
inc a milldam that would pat it out in Fl
i minutes"
. The " course of true love-" traced
sad letters in recent breach of prom
suit, read in this manner: Dear n
Smith, y" My dear john" 81 My d,
a.. ling John, My own darling Jack
> "a my darling john" Dear John
Dear Sir, " Sir" and all was over
~ After the concert. Mrs. Amateu
That last number was delicious
~. What a beautiful Air - Mrs. Tinst
r. Beautiful air For my part, thong
1t extremely oppressive. 1t was fe
s"" fully warm, ana there didn't seem to
, n. &py van tilxtion at al -
That's the sort of umbrella that p
a. pie appropriate" said u gentleman to
companion one morning, showing hin
very handsome one. Yes" rejoin
80, his companion, quietly !; F." thought
q or when.I saw you holding it. :"
Watchmap to his wife, who has hu
the water pail on the gas-jet: " Br
get, me darling" did Mr.. Levystra
tell ye to put this pail on the gas
Bridget; No, PAT but he was af
sayin' that the gas was lakin. shurt
ons, A ycung fellsw being asked to {
i, - plain the paradox of how it WAS pos
~ bic for 3 lazy man to attain 80 mu
m education answered: 't didn't-atts
it; sL--just-heard-it- -here-ani
", there, and WAS too lazy to forget it. !"
ere. "Johr when you die, would you like
sta be cremated?" No, Jane; no cremal
for your fond husband. Pnt me on il
ress l have had 3 hot time enough of it VII
alive" His wife has not sewed OF
IL. button for him since.
A Snowman exhibiting . panoraI
Of some mighty g un explored" riy