The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1885-12-05
From the Y. Y. World
BOUND TO GET SOME MILK

tnlng, sad the tail drummer IN car
rlage hardware, "and as it Is likely
not to be in sympathy with this
crowd, / don't expect you will appre-
ciate it. Then, again, that New Haven
party wants to tell something. Let
him get his chestnut off, and then III
give way"
ooh, what / have to tell isnot much.
It's about getting Off oftrains. / took
the Pennsylvania road out to Phila-
delphia and the car was crowded. AT
some little station thin, lanky chap
came n with a big oil painting,
stretche on q wooden frame, one of
those !iGe-everlasting things, good for a
tirebOaTd, with canvas enough for the
Genesta's spinnaker. 1t was the
meanest daub you ever saw: spinach
foliage, poached-egg sunset, lager beer
and ginger pop waterfall. The cussed
thing would have givenyou granulated
eyellds in five minutes. Oh | am
aesthetic; Travelled for four years with
white lead, linseed oil, and painters
sundries. Wei, how the fellow got in
to the car at all | don't know. He
was a perfect nuisance. He carried
his Michael Raphael through the mar
row aisle OF the cars, and barked all
the passengers heads with the sharp
corners OF the frame. He wasn't will
ing to put his picture in the baggage
car, couldn't hang her up, couldn't lay
her down, couldn't lean her up against
anything, so he had to stand up with
that nightmare in oil. Some of the
boys began to guy him: 'Chromos
won't pay enough to ante up with.
old man, for single lack pot said
one of the fellows. Leave him alone, ;
said another. He's going out West
to open an art emporium. Contracted
with the United States to skeer every
Apache into Mexico a-showing
around OF thai pig -" Take
her of OF her frame, roll her up, and
when it rains it will shed the water off
YOU said a drummer in the rubber
line
The man with the work OF art-vou
couldn't see hisface behind his pictori-
al screen-didn't seem to like the fun
poked at him. Presently ne said,
Sorry you DO not appreciate a work
OF art. II was ever thus. ANYWAYS
It's pearls before swine. but | shan
trouble you long because | am to get
off at the first station Then the
conductor camearOund, and said that
It was through train, and didn' {
stop where the man wanted to. The
man with the picture found out that
he had got on the wrong car. Seeing
the fix he was IN the conductor agreed
to slow UP at some station, so that
the man with his picture might get off
= -
town was reached brakes were put on.
and the man sided through the cars
with his drafted picture, and got on
the platform ready for a spring. The
engineer did not slow much or maybe
Just as the engineer was stopping the
locomotive one Of our fellows out Of
deviltry gave a pull at the bell rope,
for off we started with a Jerk. The
man with the picture had to iump.
but somehow the many square miles
OF canvas in his arms held the wind
1t was like ship when her sails were
taken aback. The art amateur went
fast enough, but the picture didn't.
You have seen the circus rider 90
through hoop covered with paper d?
That's what that man did without
AIRY horse. He reared, he did, and
went head-fOremOst, plumb. and
plunged through that work of art. all
by himself, and landed safe on the
other side OF It. That picture persisted
right then and there, but the frame
stood the racket. We Just screamed
with laughter for the next twenty
miles. .
'My story" said the New York
man, isn't bit funny. Maybe some
OF you know Hiram B. Stebbins? He's
IN feathers, artificial flowers, ladies'
notions, hat trimmings, and such.
a mOrOse, cross kind OF man that
don't make trends outside of the
trade. They do say that when he
was young he was d real nice fellow
but bothering with men milliners and
women in the bonnet business and try
ing to keep abreast OF the fashions
soured a naturally good temper.
Well, Hiram B. Stebbins Is not a bit
sOclahle, and a sort of chap to let
alone. Never understood a Joke in
his life
I'VE often crossed one another or
the road, but after saying 'Howd'ye ,
that's all the words We exchanged. 4
year ago | met him going West from
Dubuque on a scalding hot day in Ju-
"; Thermometer away up in the nine
ties and the car Just a Slaze. The car
tull and great many women aboard.
Just back OF me was a nice-lookiug
young woman dressed in deep mourn
ING, and she held a baby in her
arms, wee. zee thing, and that child
was walllng pitifully. and the Young
woman was crying. 1t was Iusr a
mite or child, puuy-lOoking and. |
should Judge barely IS weeks old
Back or her sat Stebhins. looking as
cross and surly as a bear with q sore
mead, apparently annoyed by the cries
o. that baby. The wOman's back be-
ing turned 10 Hiram he couldn't see
she was crying. of started the train.
and the dust and ciuders sifted through
IN showers. Most everybody seemed
cross, and Hiram uncOmmonlv 50
There was no smoker on the Train
ana We hadto stay in that car. That
oaby crying bothered me as il did
everybody else. Turning around
saw the young woman take a nursing
bottle out OF basket. then a small
tearthenWare Tug, and she uncorked il.
Il was tuIl OF milk, and she began to
MI the nursing bottle. 4 drOD Of
mix tell on her hand and she tasted
I, then looked very much distressed,
She put back the nursing bottle and
me Jus IN the basket again and didn't
feed the baby.
W hat onearth SHALL do - Jheard
her say. %The milk Is as sour as vine
gar and Will kill the child. and she he.
gan TO cry again, not loud like the
baby, but the tears lust streamed
down her alecheeks. Then Hiram B
Ste5bins shook himself up and leaned
forward and said to theyoung woman
kind OF cross ike:
Your infant. ma am2'
:. on, no, sir. 1t was nv poor sis
ter ;, and she died a week ago-died of
a broken heart because her husband
TINS little baby's father. was killed on