Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1885-05-17
BRIGHT BITS.

DID you ever slip up on the peal Of a bell?-
Boston Times.
Do spiritualists write on rappng paper?-
Waterloo Observer.
IT was provident hen of BLOSSOMS which
got into cellar the other day and laid in
supply Of coal, Burlington Free Press
DGNAH-"De conduct OBJ some OBJ de white
tolk.es am scandalous. putfoc'ly scandalous."
oambo-" OATS so, but dar's bound ter be
some black sheep in cherry flock. "-Teeds
Strings.
ADVERTISING Agent Ito merchant)-''So you
think it pays better to advertise on fences and
1agstone5 ha1 in the newspapers?"
Merchandise has paid me better"
Advertising Agent-"But you have just
falcd?"
Merchant-''I know it, but 1 settled for
thirty cents on the dollar"
SUNDAY OBSERVANCE Come here to me,
you gOOd-fOr- pothing thing" exclaimed u
pious farmer, addressing his son. You ought
To be ashamed Of voursetf, going fishing on
Sunday" 81 didn't go dshin', pap. l only
went down the lane to throw rocks at them
niger boys "Oh, well, that's all right then.
Recolect, my son, you must never violate the
Sabbath. "-ArhdnSa1o Trareler.
A RECIPROCAL SPIRIT.-'T can't find my
tooth brush anywhere" SAID Cottage Hi
yonng lady, looking all over the house for the
article. 'Pn len you mine," accommodate
indy suggested the cOlorcd kitchen girl
"Oh, no, thanks!' replied the young lady,
turning away. You needn't hab no coma
basin about takin' it, mise" persisted the
girl, "for rs used yours sometimes when l
couldn't end mine. "-O1 CitU Derrick
IT is most satisfactory to observe that the
"AllgemeIner Richard Wagner Verein' the
London branch Of which is about to give
series of entertainments. already numbers
). 80 members. There are now quite enough
OF them TO sustain--that II. to bear up uoder-
the music of the future without serious in
jury. If only hey are. properly organized
In relays and relief parties.-LOndon Globe.
FIRST FARMER-"Well, if there's any such
thing as luck I've struck it this time. have
always had trouble about getting goo water,
and al last had an artssian well bored. The
contractor didn't have much hopes. but il has
proved a wonderful success. It yields 20 gal
Ions every minute" Second farmer-"W ell,
that is luck, l must say. Mine is no good at
all. while you have more than you want"
"Oh, can use it, but hOw" "Can't tell
exactly. Am thinking Of starting dairy
Phil0delDhjG call.
COL. HOLMAN WATTS is an Austin gentle
man Of Responding turn Of mind, who is al
ways threatening to commit suicide when
things do not suit him, but who has never sue
ceeded in doing so. He became Oppressed a
few days ago because his hat few of when he
sneeZed. and desiring TO pnt an end to life, he
started as usual for the cistern with suicidal
intent. Take OF those boots first" SAID his
wife. who is a matter Of fact woman. "What
for?" he asked feebly. pulling open the trap
door. because the water viii harden the
boots. and next time you go down to the lodge
in them, when you come home you will COM
plain of your c0rns hurting you" replied Mrs.
Holman Watts, resuming her work on the
sewing machine. Holman shut the trap door
with such violence that the ne ghbors q quar-
ter Of mile or Thought that somebody was
blastin rock Texas Sift5ngs. ~
THE FATE OF THE FLrMFLAM.- '1r.e
A dmfam lOVped from hll2maoO.
Where the pollTwdg pinkled so yale.
md the pipkin piped a petulant 'poOhs
To the garrnlOus gawp OF the gale.
''Oh, woe to the swap Of the sweeping swipe
That b0Ons on the bObhling bav!"
Snlckered the shark TO the suooZing snipe
That lurkcd where tho lamprey lay.
The gluglug glinked in the gmaering gloam,
Where the buzz AZ BUNDLED his bee-
When the lmAam fitted, all 1lecked with
foam,
From the sozz,Dg and succulentsea.
"Oh. swlther the swipe, with its sweltering
sweep
She sworc as she swayed in r swoon.
And doleful dAnl dumped over the deep,
10 the lay Of the impld loon!
-EEgeae Fgela. in Chicago Nelcs.