Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1885-05-15
THE KETTLE AND the CRICKET.

The kettle began il Don't tell
me what Mrs. Peery bingle said.
know better. Mrs. Peerybingle
may leave on record to the end OF
time that she couldn't say which OF
them began il; but, | say the kettle
did. l ought TO know, hope
The kettle began it full Ave min
utes by the little wsxy-fsced Dutch
clock in the corner, before the
Cricket utterod q chirp.
AS if the clock hadn't finished
striking, aud the convulsivs little
Haymaker at the top Of it, jerking
away right and left with scythe
in front of Moorish Palace, had
not moved down half an acre OF
imaginary grass before the Cricket
joined in at all
Why, | am not naturally posi-
tive. Every one knows that. l
wouldn't set my own opinion
against the opinion of Mrs. Peery-
bingle, unless | we're quite sure, on
any account whatever. Nothing
should induce me. But, this is a
question OF fact. And the fact is,
that the kettle began it, at least
Ave minutes before the Cricket
gave any sign Of being in existence.
Contradict me and I'll say ten.
Let me narrate exactly how 1t
happened. l have proceeded to do
so, in my very first word, but for
this plain consideration-if am to
tell story must begin at the be-
ginning; and how is it possible to
begin at the beginning, without
beginning at the kettlei
1t appeared as if there sort of
match, or trial of skill, you must
understand, between the kettle and
the Cricket. And this is what led
to it, and how it came about.
Mrs. Peerybingle, going out into
the raw twilight, aud clicking over
the wet stones in pair of pattens
that worked innumerable rough
impressions Of the first proposition
| in Euclid all about the yard-Mrs.
PeerybiDgle filed the kettle at the
water butt. Presently returning,
less the pattens land a good deal
less, for they were tall and Mrs.
Peery bingle was but short), she set
the kettle on the FIRE. In doing
which she lost her temper, or mis-
laid It for an instant; for, the
water being uncomfortably cold,
and in that slippy, slushy, sleety
sort OF state wherein it seems to
penetrate through every kind Of
substance, patten rings included
had laid hold OF Mrs. Peerybingle's
toes, and oven splashed her legs.
And when we rather plume our
selves with reason toO) upon our
legs, and keep ourselves partic-
ularly neat in point of stockings,
we End this, for the moment, hard
TO bear. fl,
Besides, the kettle was aggravat-
| ing and obstinate. 1t wouldn't al.
low itself 10 be adjusted on the
top bar; it wouldn't hear of ac-
cmmOdating itself kindly to the
knobs Of coal; it tOOsId lean for
ward with a drunken air, and
dribble, a very idiot Of kettle, on
the hearth. 1t was quarrelsome,
and hissed and spluttered morosely
at the FIRE. To sum up all, the lid
resisting Mrs. Peerybingle's hngors,
| first of all turned topsy turvy, and
then with an ingenious pertinacity
deserving Of better cause, dived
sideways in-dOwn to the very
bottom Of the kettle. And the hull
Of the Royal George has never
made half the monstrous resistance
to coming out Of the water, which
the lid of that kettle employed
against Mrs. PoerybinglS, before
she got 1t up again.
1t looked sullen and pig.headed
enough, even then; carrying It's
handle with an air of defiance, and
cooking It's spout pertly and mock
ingly at Mrs. Peerybingle, sif it
said, Il won't boil. Nothing shall
Induce mev
But Mrs. Peerybingle, with re-
stored good humOr, busted her
chubby little hands against each
other, and sat down before the ket'
tie, laughing. Meantime, the jolly
blaze uprOse aud fell, flashing and
cleaning on the little Haymaker al
the top Of the Dutch clock, until
one might have thought he stood
still before the Moorish Palace and
nothing was in motion but the
flame.
He was on the move, however
and had his spasms; two to the
second, all right and regular. But
his sufferings when the clock was
going to strike, we're frightful to
behold and when a cuckoo looked
out Of a trap.door in tho Palace,
and gave note six times, it shool
him, each time, like spectral voice
or like . something wiry, pluck
ing at his legs.
II WAS not until a violent com
motion and q whirring noise among
the weight and ropes below hin
had quite subsided, that this terri
hed Haymsker became himsel
again. Nor was he startled with
ont reason; for, these rafting