The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1885-09-18
Kaeetla.

N..t.c4-4.4.4 ,uuukurds carry piece ..
ope with them. When they get too full
10 walk they tie themselves to shade
trees and wait for policeman.
He called nue. an ass /" exclaimed an
ovcr-dressed, excited dude "Well You
unit one" sooghingly replied % kindly
cop you are only IL elothes-horse.
Mexico's financial condition leads to
The suspicion that there is back n ad
o 1t from Canada, used by former
'i:zens and emigrant inanciers of the
omitted STATES
How long does this train stop for
r"trcShnents?' asked u traveller, as he
h,rred railway station i'll Georgia.
~ "opens ON how hungry de conductor
sin, said the waiter.
Norwich, Conn, is disturbed by the
discovery Of an infants body preserved
III alcohol. Bodies of 0 Il folks, walking
around and preserved in the same spirit,
excite no comment.
1t is said that cholera never attacks q
man With a wife and five or more chill
dlen. This would go to show that
nature never hits d man when lie is
down.
It is denied that Miss Anna Dickinson
Will appear on the stage this coming
season. Ii business revives in the Fall
it wont he such "a terrible year after
all.
There are only two occasions when q
man ilntls out what an atrocous william
ne is. The first is when he runs for
the aldermansnip OF his ward and the
second when his wife sues him for O.
Ihorce.
Smith to Jones, Ghe latter but re-
Gently married. it wasn't SO
hard after all, was it," Jones-"T There's
50 netting harder than getting married"
Smith" Getting Il divorce, suppose"
Jones" No getting the furniture. y
An Iowa judge has decided that man
is III duty bound to tell his wife where
he spends his evenings when he is away
from home. This decision is all right
up to certain extent, but suppose tie
man doesn't know!
A school of gesture has been formed
in this city. We presume the main pur-
pose i'll view is to make it possible for
married people to settle their little
differences without disturbing the entire
neighborhood.
Bald-headed men, in addition to
being wis than other people, now
have another iaCivantage-they cannot
be sunstruck. A man who was sun
struck day or two since immediately
recovered when some one shaved his
head.
A dude may be less sensible in the
tears OF anguish. OF the mute-appeals of
hopeless despair than he is to his per-
sonal decoration, but let him Get a
picnic grasshopper in his trousers, and
he'll lie right down i'll the mud and
bawl like u brindte calf.
Henry, love, l. wish you would throw
away that book and talk with mel
feel so dull" CA long silence and no
reply.) ooh, Henry, my foot is asleep! pc
" Is it Well, don't talk, dear, you
might wake it."
If man wants to own the earth, what
does woman want 2" inquired Mr.. Grab
of his better half, after little family
matinee a few days ago. "Well. NV
dear" responded tat lady in a gentle,
soothing tone, to own the man, [ sup
pose"
Two parties were arguing about col
ored people and one SAID to the other.
g Now, Jim, why is it that some colored
folks smell so peculiarly ?" "Well."
said Jim, II don't know, Sam. unless
it's cause de Iawd wanted it fixed SO
dey could be 'stinguished IRON dc white
folks"
Don't you think, said Mrs Keeper,
" that Wien Adam realized the vastness
of the world into which he had been
he must have had great deal
on his mind ?" well" responded
Mrs. Blunt, i" from the photographs 1
have seen of him, | should say that
whatever he did have on must have been
on his mind"
A critic dropped into studio,in Paris
one day, stopped before a portrait of a
lady on the easel, and remarked, But
why did you take such an ugly model 2"
- 1t is my mother" calmly replied the
artist. "Oh, pardon-a thousand times!"
said the critic i'll great confusion; ''you
IRE right, | ought to have perceived it.
The resemblance is quite striking"
Mamma, inquired Bobby, "do only
eyed deas boys An 50 b up 3 OSs
the bad place ?" Yes" I'm good
little boy. amt ?" Sometimes, Bobby,
anG sometimes you are quite bad little
boy" Bobby thought for mcment and
said: "Then I s'pose I'll have to spend
q part of the time in on place. and part
Of the time in the other.