Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1885-03-29
THE CRACKERS coURrING.
Love and watermeions-Runni q Race
for a Wife-"Cotched Her."

for Wife-''Cotched Her."
Hamilton Jay.l
al he'd been a-reain' of an ole paper some
one had sent pap, an in hit was hull lot er
truck 'bouten' a feller named Alfonso an
how he ast his gel fer ter hev him. Hit said
he got down on his knees an said 'fairest of
yer sect, love you; will you be min,r an
sich like was jest big enuff calf fool to
blieve thet an lowed it would be sorter fine
like ef l ast my gel the same way. Her
name was Bet Siathers. She weighed los
pound, an was ez strong ez a hors. Cu'd
hoe cotton ekal to any man in them parts,
an fry middlin'! Why, Lord bless yer,
when she died felt ez il I'd ruther los
any hoss he'd.
"One night in watermelling time l went
over ter her paps determined ter put my
arms around her and ak her ter be my wife
an ekally determined ter ak her like that
ther story paper said. When l got thar
saw Bet a-staudin' by the winder Of the
lean to and ahint her in the win Ter was one
of the biggest meliinss ever sael When
Bet seed me coming she yelt out loud 'nuf
to be heerl way ter the cowpen, Yer jest in
time, 81; come yer and get some water
me ling When got clus' to whar she was
seq: No, Bet don't car for no melting
now,' an then like er blame-ta fool,
dropt onter my knees an sez 1: Fairest Of
your sect, love you. viii you be my wife.
Iwants you for my own, an seme more sich
foolishness
"She bust outen a laff an seq, see she: You
wants piece OF this yere melting, misser, l
reckon an brung the hull doggonsd thing
right down on ter my he'd. nal purity
hard he'd in them days. The melting was
L. t..A =
me. My eyes was full Of the juice, my ears
full of seed an l nigh about strangled at
fust Bet was laffin' fit ter kill, but when
she seed me riz up she knowed my dander
was up, too, an she lit out fer the woods
Her pap he'd jest kem up from the mule lot
an when he seed me ali kivered with slush
like, he bust out laffin', too, but he he'd sence
an he sez, sez he: Chase her, 81, an eff you
cotch her an kiss her she's yourn.' Mebbe l
didn't run, an then again mebbe did.
Bet seed me a-comin' an she hid ahind
some bushes, an whilst was a lookin' fer
she doubled on me an put back fer the house
jest as fast as she c'u'd 60 l cotched her
Jest ez she got ter the fence, an dog my hide
eff She want blowin' like deer. hilt her
by both on her hands. an sez, Bet Slathers,
you're got to give me kiss fer that" She
said nuthin' an | sorter loosened of my grip,
SOS ter put my arm round her neck, when
she fetched me left-hander erlong the jaw
that faly made my teeth rattle. That made
me madder yet, an grabbed her agin, an
hilt an squoze ontil she sez, sez she, oh, 81,
I'm so beat out kin har'ly stand up
"Sez /, kiss me, then, an say you'll luv
me- Boy, she did, too. Kissed me right
flop on my mouth, an hit was drawin' ez
a plaster, but hit made me feel as if l was
full of honey way down to my toe-heels
When we got back to the house her ole pap
sez ter me: Isl, you cotched her like q man,
an wants ter tell you right now. Thar's
a quarter section. of high pine land goes with
that gal, an low the ole woman kin hunt
up COW or two fer you"